#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reidsaurora · 2 years

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"Cliché" ~ D. Winchester (requested)

Summary: When Y/N tries (and miserably fails) to convince herself that she hates Dean, things take a much different turn than she'd anticipated.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2,177 (ik i'm so far off word count I'm sorry)

Content Warning: very mild swearing, normal SPN violence (a vamp gets decapitated but it's not too heavily detailed), food consumption by Reader and Dean, lmk if i missed anything!

Genre: Friends to Lovers, a lil bit of Angst ig

Extra Notes: uh AU where Sam isn't here? i guess we can just pretend this takes place while Sam is in college 😭🤣

Based On the Prompt: Person A tries to hate Person B so A can try (and miserably fail) to convince themself they aren't in love with B but B could never hate them.

Features the One-Liner: "Is that my boxers you're wearing? With a sports bra?"

Originally Written/Re-Written: 05/01/2022 and 05/15/2022

Supernatural masterlist can be found here!

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I loathed Dean.

Or, at least that's what I was trying to convince myself, repeating that mantra quietly in the mirror.

"I loathe him. I loathe him. I loathe him."

After all, he clearly didn't want me. Why should I keep pretending I wanted him?

In the three years I'd been hunting with Dean, not once had he looked at me the way he looked at all those random girls in random bars across random cities in America. Not once in the year it had been since I realized I had a crush on him had he noticed the way I acted around him: batting my eyelashes a couple extra times when I spoke to him, lingering behind in the doorway of my motel room to make sure he'd made it to his room in one piece, certainly not the prolonged eye contact or the glances I'd steal of him when he was turned away.

"Y/N?" I heard that all too familiar stupid (and sexy) voice call from outside the door to my room.

"Coming!" I called back, attempting to sound annoyed, or put out, or some expression conveying my hatred for Dean.

I knew it was stupid. I knew I should've just told Dean point blankly how I felt about him. But I couldn't bear the idea of possibly losing our friendship—possibly losing Dean—if things went south.

I pulled on my sweater and grabbed my duffel, strutting over to the door. "Hey," I said in an almost monotone voice.

"Hey," he greeted in his everyday, normal tone. "You ready to go?"

"Mhm," I answered with a nod, swiftly closing the door behind me.

Soon enough, we'd made it to the Impala, ready to find our next case. I figured out I might have closed my door a little too hard when Dean asked, "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," I answered, promptly buckling myself in.

"OK, what's with you?" he asked point blankly.

"Nothing, I'm fine!" I retorted, throwing my hands up. "Just drive, Dean."

"I'm not starting this car until you explain to me why you're mad at me."

"I just told you I'm fine!"

"OK, I may do a pretty crappy job at keeping a girlfriend, but I have learned over the years that when a woman says, 'I'm fine,' it never actually means that she's fine," he rebutted.

"Just drive," I groaned, turning to face the window.

"Fine," he grumbled under his breath, finally starting the car and speeding off toward the highway.

☆☆☆

"Home sweet home," Dean sighed, throwing his bag to the side and jumping onto his bed.

"Remind me again why we don't take cases at nice hotels more often," I laughed lightly, starfish-ing onto my own bed.

Dean rolled onto his side, facing me. He had a smile on his lips, that signature, goofy, Dean smile.

"What?" I asked, rolling over to fully face him.

"Nothing," he replied, that stupid grin still plastered on his face.

"You're not gonna give me that look and say that it's nothing, Dean Winchester," I demanded, "Tell me what's up."

"Well, that's something, coming from you."

My eyebrows creased in a mixture of confusion and accusation. "What are you talking about?"

"Just the way you treated me earlier versus how you're treating me now," he explained, rolling onto his back and looking up at the roof. "I guess I underestimated what a good nap in the car could do to a person."

I scoffed, hopping up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked, sitting up to face me.

"I need some air," I grumbled.

He let out a long, surrendering breath through his nose. "I'm gonna go round us up some grub. Try not to come back too late. Make sure you take your key with you."

I didn't say it, but my brain was filled with petty thoughts of, "You aren't the boss of me."

He turned to take one last look at me. "I'd prefer if you'd stay here since I don't want you getting killed by the rogue vamp on our hands, but even if you don't stay here, just please promise that you'll be careful."

I sighed, but reluctantly nodded.

And with that, he grabbed his wallet from the bedside table and marched out the door of the hotel room.

I sat back on the bed, running my hands through my disheveled hair. I took a deep breath in, deciding that my mantra wasn't going to stop my feelings for Dean, and treating him like an asshole surely wasn't going to fix things either.

I decided that the best way to blow off steam was heading toward the hotel pool. It was then that I grabbed my duffel bag, rummaging through it to find some swim-appropriate clothing.

"Great," I exhaled in frustration upon realizing I'd lost my favorite shorts.

I thought for a moment, pondering whether a swim was even worth it at this point, but deciding it was the principal of the thing. Out of habit, I took a quick glance around the room, locking eyes with Dean's bag.

"Am I really-"

Apparently, the answer was yes, because one minute, I was rummaging through his bag and the next thing I knew, I was walking into the indoor pool room, sporting a pair of Dean's black boxers and one of my sports bras, carrying a hotel towel over my shoulder.

I tossed the towel onto one of the poolside chaises, sliding off my shoes beside it. I noticed the room was completely empty, just the way I liked. I thought for a moment, attempting to decide between jumping in or taking the steps.

I sighed contently, deciding the diving board was the way I wanted to go.

The feeling of the cold water was enough to wash off both the sweat from that blazing hot, Arizona day and the resentment I'd felt toward Dean earlier that day.

When I surfaced, I was met with the sight of a man. I could've sworn I was the only one in the pool room.

"You're an excellent diver," he observed.

"Thanks. I've been on the swim team since I was a little girl," I told him, floating away on my back.

"And an excellent floater," he chuckled.

I didn't know exactly what it was, but something seemed off about this man. I had to consider all my possibilities, considering my profession. Not a demon, no black eyes. Wasn't a crocotta, no strange phone calls. I didn't think he was a rugaru, he didn't appear to want to eat me.

THWACK!!

I let out a scream as his head fell from his shoulders, the body flumping over soon after. As I shrieked, I realized Dean had been hiding behind the man, who I then realized was the rogue vampire.

"Shh, it's me," Dean stopped me from screaming.

I pushed myself up before exiting the pool, still attempting to slow my breathing. "Please give me a warning next time you're gonna silently decapitate a vamp in front of me," I complained.

Dean bent down, lifting the now dead guy's upper lip. "Yep, extra set of teeth."

"How'd you know?" I asked, grabbing my towel.

"I didn't. I just took a chance on the way he was treating you."

I couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious. I also couldn't tell if I was supposed to be taking that as him being overprotective of me or if I'd done that by accident.

I tried not to let my mind wander too much, promptly putting my focus back on drying off and getting my shoes back on.

"Hey, are those my boxers? With a sports bra?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

I wasn't quite sure how to answer—in fact, I was flabbergasted that he'd brought it up.

Changing the subject, I said, "You might wanna get rid of that before anyone sees it."

☆☆☆

A little while after my shower (and presumably after Dean had disposed of the vamp's body), I found myself eating a fast food burger on my bed, across from Dean who was doing the exact same thing. He took another bite, focused intently on the SpongeBob episode in front of him.

"Hey, Dean," I spoke up, placing my burger back in its wrapper.

"Yeah?" he asked, muting the TV and turning to face me.

I took an internal deep breath in and out, repeating all sorts of positive mantras to myself. "I want to apologize for earlier."

"Which part?" he chuckled before taking a sip of soda.

"All of it. I shouldn't have treated you like crap and I'm sorry."

"It's OK," he said nonchalantly, like nothing had happened. Although, it could've been because he was preoccupied with trying to find his fries in the food bag.

"No, it's not. I yelled at you, I ignored you, and not that it matters, I stole your underwear, all because I l-"

I stopped myself. I couldn't believe I almost said that out loud.

"Hmm?" he looked up to face me, acting as though he was actually curious about the end of that sentence.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it," I tried to play it off.

"No, seriously, what is it?" he asked casually, finishing up his burger.

I took a deep breath, facing the fact that it was now or never. "Dean, can I be honest with you?"

"You've never given me a reason to think you were lying to me before."

I felt the air leaving my throat and lungs. It felt like I'd pass out the second I managed to get my confession away from my tongue. "I like you, Dean. I have for a while."

He stopped mid-fry, nearly dropping the box of fries onto his lap. "You huh?"

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I repeatedly thought as I mentally face-palmed. "I know. Crazy, right?" I managed to say, followed by an awkward chuckle.

"No, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just… Why me?"

I felt something in the pit of my stomach, an unidentifiable something. It wasn't relief from getting it off my chest, and it wasn't excitement from the fact that he hadn't kicked me out or ran away yet. It was… almost like sadness. I reckoned it was from his question. "Why me?"

Oh, Dean, if only you knew why it was you.

"Well, why not? I mean, you're handsome, you've always been sweet to me, you're amazing. Not just at the job but at anything you put your mind to," I explained. "I think the better is why I'd ever think you'd want me."

This time he sighed, almost as nervously as I had earlier. "That's the thing, Y/N. I've always wanted you. I never said anything because you deserve better than me."

I was taken aback by his words, to say the least. I wanted to comfortingly hug him, kiss him, and ask him why, all at the same time.

Apparently, the second one got the best of me, because the next thing I knew, I was lifting his chin and leaving a delicate kiss on his lips.

You always hear about the stereotype where guys lead the first kiss. Well, this wasn't like the clichés.

For one, I'd been the one to lift his face by the chin, not the other way around. Secondly, his lips were weak, like he was tired. Definitely not someone who was yearning to kiss someone. Actually, it was more like he was yearning to be kissed. And third, he allowed himself to pull away first, since I'd initiated the kiss.

"Dean Winchester, I have spent every day for the last year wanting to do that very action. If you'd told me you wanted the same, I would have done it."

"You deserve better than me. That's the whole reason I never said anything," he clarified once more.

"I don't care. I love you just the way you are," I said, my hand moving from his chin to his cheek.

"You shouldn't settle, Y/N. You should find a good man who can treat you the way you deserve. Not a hunter who hops from place to place, lying his way through everything. There's still a chance for you to get out of this life."

I pondered for a moment, my mind thinking of a million things to say. "Hey, I've got an idea," was what I landed on.

"Shoot."

"As cliché as it sounds, we could always improve ourselves for each other. Then either we're both settling or neither of us is settling."

"I think I'm willing to try that."

We kissed again, all the same love and emotion from before running rampant throughout my entire body.

My mind settled on two things: one, that I never wanted to stop kissing Dean. And two, I was willing to improve every aspect of myself for him, because I loved him with my whole being.

And if other people were going to consider all that cliché, I was willing to seem like an entire romance novel.

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Thank you so much for both the request and for being so understanding, @darkloverfox!! I am so sorry it took so long but I hope the outcome was worth the wait! You've been so understanding and kind and I am so thankful for that 🥺❤️

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isabelguerra · 1 year

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boys im gonna be honest i’m deep in my ‘i am never going to post wizard au’ era again both because of The Elephant In The Room and also its so much god damn work. its so much work. im not gonna do that in my free time. so since i know there were people invested in the fic series and worldlore or whatever why dont we just talk about it instead. its got wizards. its got izjo. you wanna hear about the 6 year long wizard izjo slowburn? i can talk for ages about the 6 year long wizard izjo slowburn.

eightfold is a giant spider isabel sneaks into the library when theyre first years but by second year shes gotten too big to keep hiding. isabel tries sneaking out to help her escape but johnny catches her in the act so he gets roped in and it turns into a whole heist sneaks to get eightfold out of the wizard castle unnoticed without getting caught. at midnight. saying bye is bittersweet but on the walk back they start bickering as usual and they hate each other so much but oops oh no wait this is fun. they’re having fun actually. haha get back here. and they get back 2 dorms safe and giggling and shoving each other and its nice and isabel opens up a little bit and says thanks for being there that was super annoying but cough uh. ended up being really nice and shes glad he was there. it was nice not being alone while saying bye to her best friend. so she GUESSES maybe he isnt SO bad or whatever. and then puts the bravado back on and is grinning wide and laughing again and haha oh man did he see that ghost in the corridor with the- but johnny is NOT listening. he is still stuck on ‘i had a nice time being around you’ (<- he is unused to positive reinforcement. he is accustomed to the norm of ‘(i think) people (my friends) like me because im good at exerting myself over others in a way that makes them feel bad but makes us feel good’ and not ‘i enjoyed being around you just for you’) and is not taking it well. also very jarred and offput by the new side of his wizard sport partner, very thrown off kilter. thrown off his groove. they NEVER have good times together. like they dont have BAD times but this has never been like A Thing before but she just said it so now it IS and. okay. maybe he had fun. maybe he DID have fun. and maybe shes good to push against cause she pushes back and maybe he can admire or at least respect the tenacity it takes to do that with him. and maybe it feels cool when that look get in her eye and he knows hes in for a good duel or like shes not looking like that now but this is fine too yknow. like the warm smiling and goofy laughing and dorm fireplace lighting and the tired soft look hes never seen her with before is fine no biggie he doesnt mind. but yes he does hes freaked out. so he bolts and thinks ‘surely that isn’t something i gotta worry about’ and then worries about for the next 6 years

isabel has a tendency to keep even her closest friends a little at bay but unfortunately thats very hard to do when you share a wizard commonroom with a loudmouthed fire hazard who is also your wizard sport partner. so they end up spending a lot of time together thanks to proximity. proximity after about 3 years turns to tentative friendship. tentative friendship after 4 years turns to ‘at the point of late night study sessions draped across each other on the couch because we have shit to do and im not letting you fail because if you do you wont be able to play in the next match and if we lose cause of it im kicking your ass’ (<- ‘i like hanging out with you’). the others come over often but theres only so much time you can spend with someone who is not in your wizard school group versus someone who is and is around you 24/7. so theyre not bffs yes but they might as well be. so one day theyre learning about some idk wizard beast and oops forgot to bow or whatever, johnny gets owned and so ollie&isabel take him 2 the nurse. the catalyst here is isabel knows by now that this is someone she cares about and considers a friend but shes REALLY caught off guard at just how MUCH this is stressing her out. not wizard game related. not in a bickery play way. she doesnt know when she started caring so much, but now she IS and hes someone important to her. and hes hurt. and shes going to stay in this god damn infirmary pacing and foot tapping and doing jumping jacks to get out the energy while her brain goes 100000 miles per second. and she does that for about 4 hours. anyway johnnys fine but even after hes fine isabel is still stuck with the ‘why was That my reaction’ realization. and the answer is she li

6th year max gets his ass thrown in the trio sorcerer championship and literally all his suffering is secondary because this is an izjo au. both their feelings are still there both of them still have no idea what to do with them or how to get them out in normal ass ways. so first night back to school johnny dares everyone to sneak into the woods after curfew and see who lasts longer. hes not 12 anymore but he is 16 which arguably is worse. the bullying has lessened the scoundrelism has amplified. everyone gets terrified. scatters. haha oh its you (record scratch) guess we’re walking around the spooky woods trying to find our friends! gee the atmosphere and flustered skittishness i get around you that makes me uncomfortable because i dont know how to deal with it SURE IS amplified right now! better fall back on familiar tactics and scenarios: friendly frustrated bickering and mild threats of violence. they get in a verbal fight and have a ‘would you shut up’ ‘why dont you make me’ ‘And Then They Kiss’ moment while the emotions are super heightened and isabel, who initiated it, isabel kissed him first, then proceeds to realize what she did and loses her god damn mind freaking out and apologizing while johnny stands there totally frozen and maybe for the first time ever shocked into total speechlessness. and then max falls out of a tree and ollie finds them and ed and rj are with them and sos stephen so theyre like HAHA OKAY GANG ! GREAT DARE ! LETS HEAD BACK NOW ! and johnny lays awake in bed that night kicking his feet in the air

wizard prom in december. they dont go together because theyre idiots and not at that point where asking someone (each other) to wizard prom is something they can do. but they both break away from the crowd at similar times and end up hanging out most of the night, which jsabel gets in trouble with her grandpa for, but before then she has a lot more fun. they ditch the wizard prom hall and go romp around campus and the sports pitch and they Dont Talk About What Happened In September. they dont. its unspoken. if you bring it back up that means its real. oh hey wait hold on whats that. what is that. is that- oh damn its that one plant. with the- yeah its the winter holiday kiss tradition plant. where like if its over you you gotta kiss. yeah like on the mouth. wow that’s crazy. ahahahah damn well yknow it IS the rules so they should probably- cause yknow like, so they, yknow, yeah. yeah like with lips and stuff. man thats sooooo lame and sucky too bad the plant rules say we gotta :/ shoot that sure blows :/ crazy how this world works. cringe. anyway so about that ki- and then max walks in .2 seconds beforehand and ruins the moment and its funny because i like torturing him. max tells ksabel Hey Uh We Gotta Do The Closing Dance Okay Bye. spells broken though and she leaves they do not kiss. but theyre both left with the knowledge that the other person WANTED to enough that they were willing to exploit a cliche social tradition just to find an excuse for it.

im so tired i keep fading jn and out of consciousness writing this. isabels wizard fear monster (franciso) fucks her up pretty badly. she runs out of the classroom back to the wizard dorms, youll never believe who goes after to check on her. T 60k+ slowburn, hurt/comfort, fluff, pep talks, Decisions Made Under High Emotions (second kiss) (johnny initiated kiss) (isabel is getting kissed this time) (hes standing right behind me isnt he) max walks in on them again. isabel is bluescreening. johny promptly leaves. max her best friend max is like ‘i would like to stop always seeing you guys about to lip lock’ isabel wants to be swallowed by the ground. i cant finish this im so tired. look at my comprehensive au romcom plotlines boy

#paranatural #nain tag i dont. EVEN care !

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nojey · 3 years

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reminiscing (fans 2)

dreamwastaken x streamer!reader

genre: angst pronouns: they / them word count: 2.1k warning(s): failed relationship, cursing

fans (part 1)

synopsis: after taking 6 months off from social media, you finally explain to your fans why you took so long and why you needed it.

go live. *click*

you watched as your chat strolled in and viewer count go up. your computer screen illuminating your face in the dark room as your webcam caught the nervous look. you were shaking your leg up and down, a habit you caught whenever you tried to calm yourself down.

“hi everyone, it’s been a while since my last stream, huh?” you dryly chuckled. “it’s been about.. 6 months since i last streamed and at this point i think i’ve taken enough time to correctly word how i’m going to tell everyone why i decided to take a break from streaming.” you said looking down at the ground and fiddling with your fingers.

“uh, donation notifications will be off for this stream and chat will be on emotes only because i really just want to focus on getting this out. but if you plan on donating, thank you so much, really, it means the world to me.” you said finally looking at your webcam and smiling a bit. you read a chat and answer, “yes, i’m doing okay. i just have a big announcement i want to say after i tell you guys why i took a break.”

you took a deep breath in and started. “ over a year ago, almost 2, i met this guy through a friend and we started talking. it was very little at the beginning but as little as it was, his texts always made me smile.” you scratched the back of your neck. “and as time went on, we started talking more and more and he just became part of my daily routine. when i woke up i’d see a good morning text from him, we’d spend most of our day being on the phone with each other, i was even on facetime with him most of my streams but i had an airpod under my headset so you couldn’t really see it, i almost always fell asleep on facetime with him. i really fell for this guy.” you fondly smiled, looking at your desk, where your phone used to be propped up and you would see clays face just looking at you.

“then we started streaming together. ‘omg he’s a streamer too’ yeah, and a lot of you probably know who i’m talking about at this point but i still won’t disclose who it is. i uh, got a lot of messages from you guys telling me that i looked super happy that stream and i was. i was always happy when i talked to him. but along with those messages i also got a lot of hate, telling me to stay away from him. it didn’t really bother me because i always get hate when i stream with my guy friends; i was used to it.” you said, taking a sip from your water then wiping the side of your eye as it teared up.

“and today... i’ll be going on the dream smp! with the man himself, dream. dream, say hi now.” you introduced, you waited a few seconds but was only met with silence. you grabbed your phone and sent him a voice message, “clay! you’re on deafen! introduce yourself!” you screamed into your phone. dream then took himself off deafen and said. “hi (y/s/n)’s chat! i’m dream, i’ll be showing (y/n) around the smp today and we’re gonna get started on their house.” you smiled fondly when you heard him speak. “yeah! what dream said!”

so you both logged into the dream smp, said hi to sapnap, and dream gave you a tour. you then started building your house in a forest, quite far from everyone else, “i don’t want anyone bothering you or ruining your house when you’re not on.” he explained. you told dream you wanted to build a cottage so if anyone does end up stumbling upon it, it looks welcoming to them. so dream started building your house for you even though you insisted you do it together. “dream! let me help, this is supposed to be my house.” you dragged. “well we can both decorate inside and make it our house.” you started blushing. “i guess..” you mumbled. you then started adventuring out to look for flowers and some things to decorate the house with.

you started placing flowers down into flower pots when you noticed something. “dream there’s only one bedroom.” you mentioned. he slowly turned around to look at you and quickly turned back and placed two beds next to each other. “this is our room, dumbass.”

later that night you checked your twitter dms and saw many people telling you to stop talking to dream and that you weren’t good enough to even know him. you sighed and powered down your phone.

“i think a few weeks after that he asked me if i could fly out to him and we’d meet in person. i was so excited i immediately started packing and i met him. it was amazing! i got to meet the guy i’ve been in love with for the past few months. i think it may have been a year already. but yeah, i finally got to meet him and being in his arms was the best feeling in the world, i felt so safe being with him.”

“it was the day after that, when he asked me on a date and i, of course, said yes. like who would say no to the person they fell in love with... so we went on a date and at the end of it we were just sitting on top of the hood of the car, eating dinner, watching the sunset and talking about a future we wanted together. and it may seem like we were moving fast but i knew 7 months into talking to him that he felt the same way about me. no matter if either of us disclosed it. i could tell and i knew he knew the same about me. then i went home and everything was perfect, i wasn’t his girlfriend yet though because we wanted to wait a bit.”

“that’s when everything went downhill, i think” you looked up to try to stop the tears from going down your face, but they fell anyways so you just let it be.

“we started streaming more and more and i started getting more hate than i usually got, this time getting death threats, people threatening to leak my address if i didn’t stop being friends with him. it was crazy but i was willing to endure it all for him. who cares what people on the internet are going to say to me? i really didn’t because i was happy enough with him that, that happiness overcame whatever type of hate i was getting.” tears kept falling from your eyes but you didn’t bother to wipe it, knowing it would just keep happening.

“dude you’re so annoying! you definitely cheated!” you screamed as you died. through your headset you could hear clay wheezing. “there was no way i was cheating!” he said through his laughs. “ask my chat, they saw the whole thing.” you breathed out, not wanting to believe him till a dono was sent to you, “yeah, (y/n) you just suck at this game,” you gasped, your jaw hanging then you started pouting. it was clipped and one of your viewers sent it to dream. he suddenly started laughing harder and you asked him why he was laughing, with a pout still on your face. “even your chat knows i didn’t cheat!” you started laughing too, till you read a message in the chat saying, “ew, their laugh is ugly. i don’t know why dream likes them.” you stopped laughing but kept a fake smile on your face.

“then he called me and he told me that he didn’t think we should be dating anymore, or even be friends. and i think it was because he saw the hate i was getting and he didn’t like that. he told me a different reason as to why he didn’t think we should date anymore but i didn’t believe it, but i let him go. because i was not going to force him to be with me if he really did mean it. “ you said, sniffling after so you didn’t sound too congested as you spoke.

after you hung up, you curled into a ball and cried. you cried, and cried, and cried. the feeling in your chest hurting more than you could ever imagine. you just lost the guy you wanted to marry, the guy you had spent over a year going to because of your problems, the guys you saw having kids with, the guy that made everything worth it. he was the only person on your mind as the pain in your chest grew. you tweeted and powered your phone off straight after. you didn’t want anyone messaging you asking what was wrong, knowing your friends they would do that.

“so the reason i took a break from streaming was because of that. because i resented the people that sent me hate so much i couldn’t bring myself to stream. i didn’t resent them because they sent me hate. i resent them because the hate they sent me caused the guy i really wanted to be with to make me believe he didn’t love me like i love him.” now, you were sobbing, letting your cry’s out because you had been holding them in for too long.

it had been a few months and you were on snapchat, seeing that you had a memory a year ago today, you checked it. “i think i literally met my soulmate.” with a picture of you and clay in a discord call. your breath got caught in your throat and your breathing became labored. your eyes started stinging as the tears started falling. it’s happening again, all the pain from the day you stopped talking to him came back and once again, you were crying into your hands and you couldn’t stop.

“i had always known that becoming a streamer i would get hate, but i never thought that i would get enough hate to prevent a relationship i really wanted to work. now all i do is reminisce of a guy i wish could be mine”

“streaming has brought me so many opportunities and i am so grateful for everything you guys have done for me, and for me to be able to do something i love and make money from it is insane to me. you guys have given me everything i ever wanted in life up until that point and i am so grateful and appreciative of that. you guys gave me friendships that i will never lose and never forget. so many of you have told me that i’ve saved you and changed your lives but trust me when i say you guys have saved me and changed my life too. i hope i repaid you back by making you smile, being your comfort streamer, and being a support system for each of you. but i think this is my end of the road. i fucking love streaming, i love you guys. but every time i click that “go live” button or even try to, all i think about is him and that’s too painful for me right now. maybe in the future i’ll find my way back here but i can’t promise that.”

“thank you guys, so, so, so, so, much for every single opportunity given to me, for everything. i love you all. my dms are still open. and this was (y/s/n), signing off for possibly the last time. goodbye everyone.”

end stream. *click*

a tear rolling down his face and falling onto his keyboard as he watched you finally say goodbye to your stream. it all just felt like you were saying your last goodbye to him again.

for the last 6 months all clay could do was think about you and how he wished he just messaged you and told you he was sorry and didn’t mean what he said. that he misses you and he would quit streaming if that meant he could be with you. that all he wanted was to feel you in his arms again and just live out the future you two planned together.

but if you just said goodbye to your chat for your last stream because you couldn’t stand the thought of him whenever you tried to stream. how could you ever forgive him?

the thought of never speaking to you hit him once more and again, he cried, sobbed, screamed, threw things, and even then, he knew.. you would never be coming back to him, with every fiber in his being, wishing you would.

—————

taglist: @loxbbg @bozowrites @noahsfag @sparklykeylime @bi-narystars @axths @cheybaee @letsloveimagines @meatte @julesamen21 @classyunknownlover @bad268 @strawbrinkofdeath

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chihomichannel · 3 years

Text

i wish you all the happiness in the world

| pairing: oikawa tooru x short female! reader | summary: In which you loved each other for all this time but timing was never on your side | genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, kinda smut but not really | warnings: MANGA SPOILERS, cursing, alcohol, NOT EDITED ‘cause i’m tired | word count: 6964 words | a/n: hi hi! this is my first haikyuu ff. hope you like it! ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ i have to say though, i’m not really satisfied with this smh. it’s more like a summary of an entire fanfic i’ve thought for oikawa siiigh. this also was kinda rushed by the end ‘cause i wanna post it already jhbksdjna

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You treasure your time back in childhood. Whenever you think back to those days, you would be reminded of the times you spent with Oikawa and Iwaizumi by your side. Still young and ignorant to the world other than your own little bubble, you played around and made memories that even years later, you could still remember what you felt back then. What it felt like to pull on your sister’s hair and the terror that went with it, what it felt like to accidentally injure yourself after you tried copying that one commercial you saw on TV, what it felt like to trip over your own feet as you dived head first to receive a ball for the first time - and with all those times of stupidity and utter fun, Oikawa and Iwaizumi was always there. You don’t even remember the first time you met them. All you knew was that they were already a part of your life for as long as you could remember.

You and Oikawa are next-door neighbors and Iwaizumi lives just right around the corner by the end of the street. For everyday that passed by, you three were always joined at the hips. You can’t even remember a time in your childhood that you weren’t with either of the two. Or maybe it was because it was so long ago that you don’t remember everything now that you’re a bit older.

But a distinct memory of Oikawa forcing both you and Iwaizumi’s pinkies to his as he shouted in promise “Someday, we’ll make it all to nationals!” Nationals. What a fancy word for such young dreamers.

But hence, when you reached the age of kindergarten, your parents made it a mission and a promise to always, always enroll the three of you in the same school. They thought your friendship was cute and special. Even everyone in the neighborhood found your little group endearing. They could never imagine one without the other two or either of the bunch. You would always be three and that would never change. At least that was the ideal reality that everyone imagined for you three.

Though that ideal friendship remained true for years and years. But in your final year of middle school, that was when everything shifted its course.

It was when Oikawa and you were alone in between the two gyms that separated the boy’s volleyball team and the girl’s volleyball team. You were a setter, a genius setter. And during that time, you didn’t know the animosity Oikawa held towards genius volleyball players. So when he told you “You’re a really great setter” And with the small smile accompanied by those fluttering words, a great wave of pride swelled in your chest to hear such a comment from such a great setter, a tinge of pink painted across your cheeks.

You let out a small shy “Thank you” Your eyes stuck on the ground with your hair hiding your reddening cheeks. You didn’t notice the slight quirk in the corners of his smile. Too busy with your head in the clouds, you failed to notice the envy that flashed through his dark chocolate-brown eyes.

While you were busy pining over your new realized feelings, Oikawa was also busy over his conflicting feelings for you. You were his friend, his best friend along with Iwaizumi. So why does he harbor so much jealousy towards you? It was him who got you into volleyball in the first place. It was him who dragged you out of bed every morning for as long as he could remember just to play volleyball. But seeing you do so much better than him, even when he would never face you on the court, he couldn’t help but feel insecure in your presence.

He thinks he could do more, be better and surpass every living genius in the world of volleyball. He wants to be the best. He needs to be much much better. And with the green-eyed monster controlling his need to be the best, without knowing it, he held a resentment against you.

And you, none the wiser of your friend’s bitterness towards you, you found more reasons to be around Oikawa more. More than you already do. Which to be honest did not help calm the growing storm Oikawa harbors in his heart. You always just seem to be everywhere and seeing you always reminds him of what he’s lacking. Feelings of guilt, envy and your sudden overwhelming presence is what drove him to finally snap. To finally pull the trigger and kill whatever’s left of his fondness towards you.

Iwaizumi had told you that Oikawa has been pushing himself much more than normal. Oikawa has been losing his cool and Iwaizumi has explained the pressure, the constant need to be better and the inferiority Oikawa feels towards players like Kageyama and Ushijima. But neither you nor Iwaizumi knew you were one of those Oikawa felt inferior to.

So one late afternoon, the sun has set and the sky is minutes away from dark. Hours after classes were dismissed and the rest of the players had been sent home, you entered the boy’s volleyball gym alongside Iwaizumi to see that Oikawa is still hell-bent on practicing.

You frowned. You could see how exhausted he was but still, he stood on his two feet, determined. Before you could even call out his name, Kageyama caught your attention as he made his way to his senior “Oikawa-san, please teach me how to serve”

As if something inside him snapped in half, Oikawa’s hand flew towards Kageyama only for Iwaizumi to catch his arm in time “Get a grip you moron!” Stunned silence echoed through the gym, only heavy breaths and wide eyes spoke volumes of what just happened. “I’m sorry” Oikawa relaxed and Iwaizumi let him go. But his eyes, he was just as shocked with his actions as much as everyone was.

“Kageyma, I’m sorry but we’re done for the day” Iwaizumi’s spoke and with that, Kageyama walked away, eyeing Oikawa warily as he passed him by.

“Tooru?” Your voice caught his attention. You being there sent him in overload and before he could stop himself, before Iwaizumi had the chance to stop the words that flew out of Oikawa’s mouth, he snapped once again. But this time, there was no stopping it.

“You!” He bellowed, you flinched “I hate you! I hate you and your presence and everything that is you!”

“Huh?” “Wha-? OI!”

“-Why are you always everywhere? Why do you have to be a part of my life? You’re always in my eyes! You’re always there and I am sick of it!” Oikawa huffed, tears brimming on his eyes. You’re already crying.

“You like me don’t you?”

He knows

“-Well I don’t like it! Stay away from me will you! You overwhelm me!”

He knows

You clenched your hand, shaking.

“-WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE A SETTER?!” With a frustrated cry, Oikawa dropped to his knees and suddenly, you realize.

‘He hates me’ You thought. You didn’t even dwell as to why when you ran out the gym. You heard Iwaizumi call out your name but you ignored him and ran. You ran and ran until your lungs forced you to stop, tumbling down to your knees as you sobbed in the empty road under the street light.

You can’t understand for the life of you. Had you been mean to him? Have you done something wrong? Or is it because he knows you like him and he doesn’t feel that way towards you. Maybe you made him uncomfortable. His mother doesn’t really help as she always gushes about how you should be her future daughter-in-law. You had overwhelmed him and now he hates you.

It was only the night before Monday did you remember what he last told you.

“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE A SETTER?”

‘Ah’ you thought as you realized the roots of his new found resentment towards you.

Oikawa has always been ambitious and successful at whatever he sets his mind into. But he was no genius and his skills were practiced, it did not come naturally. You remembered those times he ranted about Ushijima and how unbelievably strong he is. And Kageyama and how he’s younger yet so much better than he is. And then there’s you.

He had never complained about you. Or at least none that you knew about. You should have realized when people started calling you a genius. You should have noticed the change of his demeanor towards you. How he doesn’t smile genuinely anymore. How you weren’t actually friends anymore.

You didn’t love volleyball and maybe that’s one of the reasons why he hates you. Or maybe that’s the exact reason why. You don’t even love it yet you’re so good at it. No wonder he was frustrated about you. He’s not just envious about your skills, he’s also frustrated to see you obtain something he wants when you’re only half-hearted into the game. It was a reminder that no matter how hard he pushed himself, there would always be some genius that would trample over his hardened efforts.

You couldn’t believe how fast you could go from liking someone to hating them the next.

You avoided him after that incident. You avoided him like the plague. You still talk to Iwaizumi though but not as much as before. You distanced yourself from them and before you knew it, you had graduated.

Over the summer, that was when people noticed the shift in the dynamic of your friendship. The three became two and you’re now only one. You don’t leave your house, not even when Iwaizumi called out your name for an hour because you knew Oikawa would be there.

Oikawa did not make any effort to reconcile with you and it annoyed you to no end. It was always Iwaizumi acting as the mediator but eventually, even he gave up. It was tiring to force two people to reconcile when neither party wanted anything to do with the other.

It doesn’t mean Oikawa didn’t feel guilty. His guilt was one of the reasons why he exploded and it was also guilt that made him ashamed of facing you. You were a precious friend, a childhood friend, a person who’s known him for so long. A person who knows him better than his family and yet he pushed you away.

And now you won’t come back.

At the opening ceremony in high school, he waited for you. He thought that he would make peace with you. Apologize once and for all. You were already in high school for god’s sake. You had let the whole summer wash away the broken pieces of your friendship with no way of reconciliation. You had wasted a whole summer and Oikawa’s determined to bring everything back to where it was. Even if it meant to pick up all the pieces of the broken fragments of your strained friendship. He would do so. Because you’re precious to him, more than you nor he could understand.

But you never came. And at once, all that courage and determination in him was also washed away.

You went to Karasuno for high school and swore your soul to the gods that exist that you would never ever step foot into a volleyball court ever again. You had decided to quit on volleyball. Sure, you were a genius at it but you didn’t love it. At least not as much as some people you know. But that promise was also thrown away when Sugawara, a classmate, begged you to be their manager.

He was resolute and you were annoyed. And so you rejected his offer. Though that did not stop him from pestering you, begging you down to his knees which is why you found yourself watching a practice match held in the school’s volleyball gym.

‘They’re weak’ You thought. You didn’t really care as you watched the team pathetically lost. You could not stress enough the difference in power between your school and the away team. It was truly and utterly pitiable.

You had heard about the tale of the once powerhouse that is Karasuno and you wondered what happened. You learned that your school had once managed to make it to the nationals so why is the team so weak now? No coach, no manager, just players.

You were already leaving, indifferent to your school’s volleyball team when your ears perked up on an insult, an insult that sent you to overdrive and before you knew it, you were screaming. You screamed at your school’s team. You screamed a vow, a vow to get them to nationals once again. And so beyond your belief, you were on the court once again. Though this time, you were only at the side.

It was in the Interhigh Tournament did you and Oikawa look at each other once again. His eyes were wide while yours was determined, glaring at him as if challenging him. He knew of your abilities and how well you could use that to coach others. He knew you could use that to examine opponents and use that knowledge against them. You were a genius that way. And so seeing you in the opponent’s team as their manager made him nervous. Just because you were a manager doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be able to help the team technically.

But how can you help a team that doesn’t want your help in the first place? It was only you and your other fellow first years that were bitter when you lost in the first round. Your seniors seemed to accept that your team just wasn’t good enough. And the frustration sent you to silent tears as you questioned your decision of being involved in volleyball again.

And Oikawa, being the ever jackass that he is, used the opportunity to tease you. An excuse to talk to you. And imagine the delight he felt when you gave him the attention. And so started the rivalry you never imagined you would have with him.

You thought that maybe if he hadn’t chosen to tease you that day, you would’ve quit the volleyball club. And maybe if he hadn’t teased you that day, you would have probably never talked again.

Three years passed and it was your last year at high school. With the addition of promising first years, you faced off against Aoba Johsai in the Spring Interhigh Qualifiers. Karasuno won and would face off Shiratorizawa for the finals. You should be glad, ecstatic even. So why are you sad? Why are you mourning for your childhood friends’ loss? Why won’t you look away from the opponent and celebrate with your team?

But how could you when you could see the two special people in your life fight off the tears that threatened to stream down their eyes. And the night after Karasuno beat Shiratorizawa, you thought ‘Nationals’

You were the only one who made it to Nationals. And you weren’t even a player.

The thought of that stupid childhood promise left a bitter taste on your mouth.

๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ ⋆ ࣪. ˖ ࣪⭑ ˖ ࣪ ٬ ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ ⋆ ࣪. ˖ ࣪⭑ ˖ ࣪ ๋࣭

The high of the nationals died down once it was over and you and your fellow third years now focus on studying for the finals and upcoming university entrance exams. It was dismissal time and having no volleyball club activities any more, you head straight home, parting ways with Sugawara at the intersection.

You sighed. The sky is orange with hues of pink, purple and blue painting the sky gradient. You had arrived by your house’s gate when you heard the ruckus of voices. Male voices. So you turn and lo and behold, it was Oikawa, Iwaizumi and number 2 and 3 from what you could remember.

They turn to look at you and their ruckus dies down. You turned your back at them, already opening the gate when Iwaizumi called out your name. You turn your focus back at them “Would you mind tutoring us?”

“Please, she’s bad at math” Oikawa commented. You felt a nerve pop out of your neck “You bitch, you suck at everything but volleyball!”

“Excuse me, I’m in class 6-” “Doesn’t matter”

Iwaizumi could only sigh as Matsukawa and Hanamaki watched in amusement. ‘So you’re the famous childhood friend’ they thought.

You and Oikawa stared down at each other, neither backing down. For added effect, you crossed your arms which earned a snort from the setter “Please?” Iwaizumi pleaded. With a sigh, you looked at your friend “Fine. I’ll just tell mom first”

Why did you accept? You didn’t know. But you knew you didn’t mind being around Oikawa now. Though you don’t really trust him, not anymore.

Your mom was surprised to hear you would be going to Oikawa’s house. It’s been years and she could not hide the glee on her face as she practically pushed you out of the house. With a deep breath, you made your way to his house.

The door opened to his mother who, like your mom, albeit a bit more enthusiastic, was ecstatic beyond relief at the sight of you. She asked you continuously without giving you any chance to reply “Did you finally make up? Are you friends again? You’re talking again? How splendid! Why did you stop talking in the first place? I was so sad. I missed you so dearly. It wasn't the same without you”

She kept on beaming and you only replied in awkward chuckles, not wanting to kill her joy and tell her you still very much held a grudge against her son. But fortunately, she left you to the company of the four boys who sprawled all around the couch, bags thrown at the side with the television on in a music channel. A girl group is performing.

“Aren’t you guys supposed to be studying?”

“Shh, Miho-chan is singing” Oikawa held a finger on his lips. You could only grimace at their focus on the girl group. Maybe you should go now.

But before you could even turn around, Iwaizumi had turned off the TV much to the boys’ protests “Fanboy later you horny scumbags”

“You know I’m here, right?” You say and Iwaizumi sent you an apologetic smile.

“You don’t count as a girl anyway so it doesn’t really matter” You felt your heart drop at Oikawa’s comment. You frowned, dropping your books down on the coffee table with a slam. The three boys jumped, startled. They were sitting down on the floor when you did that.

With a huff, you sat down at the end of the table while Matsukawa and Hanamaki sat beside each other and across from them sat Oikawa and Iwaizumi “So-” You cleared your throat as they looked at you in synchrony “-what is it you need help in?”

๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ ⋆ ࣪. ˖ ࣪⭑ ˖ ࣪ ٬ ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ ⋆ ࣪. ˖ ࣪⭑ ˖ ࣪ ๋࣭

You looked up to the digital clock hanging on the wall. 8:47 pm, it read “Aren’t you guys gonna go home?”

Oikawa is fast asleep on the coffee table, head resting in his arms. Matsukawa has given up on his practice test and Hanamaki sat spaced out. It was only Iwaizumi whose focus is still on his notes. Even you gave up 15 minutes ago, feeling your head ache as the words start swirling incoherently in your mind.

You received a hum of reply, everyone focused on their own little worlds. You sighed, closing your book and tucking in the notes in your bag in a hurry. You stood up, groaning at the ache that has built up on your legs from hours of sitting. The others noticed this and copied your actions, slowly standing up and slinging their bags on their shoulders “You all should rest for the day. Just continue tomorrow”

Iwaizumi did not budge from his position and you walked out of the living room to the front door, Matsukawa and Hanamaki hot on your heels. Once you were outside, you were about to bid them goodbye when Hanamaki beat you to it “Hey, I’ve been thinking. Why didn’t you go to Seijoh?”

Matsukawa hit Hanamaki in the back of his head, earning a hiss from the latter “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that”

“Why? Did they talk about me?” Your smile was sad it could come off as a frown. The two boys looked at you sheepishly and you chuckled, turning away from them as you unlocked your gate “We’ve heard the three of you were close and that something happened. They didn’t really elaborate. You’re a really touchy subject” This made you laugh

“Damn” You turned back around to face them to see that they’re still on the same spot, waiting for your response. But you only gave them half a smile, bid goodbye and entered your house.

The next day, you slept through your alarm. Only waking up when your mother woke you up with a screech. And so you skipped on breakfast, snatching a biscuit from the top of the refrigerator and dashed out of your house. Only to be met with Oikawa getting on his bike, obviously late like you are.

“Shouldn’t you be at morning practice?” “Shouldn’t you know that 3rd years don’t go to practice anymore?” You rolled your eyes.

“Geez, how could I know? I don’t go to your school, dumbass” Oikawa pedaled to match your pace “You sound like Iwa-chan, chibi-chan~”

You held your tongue, though your frown failed to conceal your annoyance. Oikawa gazed at you, pursing his lips as you refused to look at his way “Hop on, chibi-chan. No matter how fast you go, you’ll still be late with those tiny legs of yours”

“Can you shut up?!” “What? Is that your best retort? How lame~” You kicked the wheel of his bike sending him trembling out of balance “Hey!”

You huffed. You did not sign up for so much annoyance so early in the morning. You groaned, head looking up at the sky in exasperation when Oikawa blocked your way “Please, please get hit by a truck” Oikawa looked offended

“Ouch, chibi-chan. Just hop on already, you know I’m right” He gave you a grin which only aggravated you more “No”

“Don’t be so stubborn, little girl” “I am not little” “Your height says otherwise” “I’ll kill you!”

Both of you were locked out of the gate that day.

Your review with the four boys continued everyday after school. As well as your morning walk to the school being bombarded by Oikawa. When he learned what time you go to school, Oikawa made it his mission to walk with you. Always biking at your pace as he ranted on and on much to your dismay. You had begged Iwaizumi to go to school with the two of you since Oikawa doesn’t give any signs of giving up on you. But Iwaizumi only gave you a grunt for a response, mumbling about respecting his sleep.

And came one Friday morning, 2 weeks left of school and 3 days before university entrance examinations. Oikawa is waiting by your gate as always and hopped on at the sight of you “Morning, chi-bi-chan~”

Closing your gate, he waits for you to walk but was pleasantly surprised when you sat on the back of his bike “Huh?”

“Bike” You said and so he did. He began telling a story about Iwaizumi tripping in front of his crush, elaborating on what happened that day. And you, you were uncharacteristically quiet.

Usually, you’ll banter with him. And so when you called out his name, Oikawa could feel that you were about to say something heavy. So he continued rambling, zoning out your voice and filling the air with his words.

“Tooru” He paused, his heart thundering against his chest. It has been years since he last heard you call him by his name “Yeah?”

“Why are you acting like we’re friends” Oikawa let out a strained smile but you didn’t see

“Damn, that hurts y/n-chan” He said in jest but you could hear the genuine hurt in his voice. Oikawa felt your hand tighten as you clutch on the back of his jacket.

“Tooru-” You leaned your head against his back ‘-it’s weird how this makes me feel happy but hurt’ You thought

“Tooru-” ‘-I’m glad we’re talking again’

Oikawa could feel his heart go erratic, longing for whatever that is on your mind. Voice it out, he thought. Voice it out. But you don’t

“Tooru-” ‘-how come I still like you?’

That night, everyone is staying over at Oikawa’s house except for you. It would be weird considering you’re the only girl and your parents didn’t let you. But here you were, shivering in the cold as you knocked on the window outside Oikawa’s room. He was there because it was him who called you out at 2 in the morning, begging you to come. You shouldn’t have come but you couldn’t really resist him. Not even after all these years. Not even after convincing yourself to move on from him.

You’re whipped and you’re annoyed by it.

‘He’s a jackass’ You think as he holds your hand to support you down ‘He shouted at you. Never apologized, rejected you before you even had a chance to confess. He’s an annoying son of a bitch’

Your heart flutters when you stumble against his chest, Oikawa holding you by the shoulders to steady you “You’re cold” He says, his breath raining down on your hair. His breath was hot and your cheeks turned warm.

You fought the urge to look up at him but when he wrapped a blanket around you, your eyes unconsciously made its way to his face to see he was glowing red despite the darkness of his room.

“The others are in the living room” He says, pulling you down with him on his bed. Shuffling of sheets echoed around the room as Oikawa dived under the blanket. He had his arm under you while his other pulled you to his chest. He kept his arms around you, his chin on your head as you flushed yourself to his chest.

You could feel his heart, beating its way out of his chest. His heart slowly lulling you to sleep. He called out your name. You reluctantly pulled your head away from his chest and looked up at him “Hm?”

Oikawa bite his tongue, mulling over the words in his head. Should he tell you right now? What would your reaction be? He doesn’t want to hurt you again. He doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes. He doesn’t want this moment to stop. For the world to pause and let him hold you close to him.

He thinks it over - deciding he should tell you soon. But not know. Not when your cheeks are red, your half-lidded eyes glossy as you gazed at him longingly. Oikawa leans in, planting a soft kiss to your forehead that tells you exactly what he feels. You could feel yourself shrink under the affection.

You didn’t notice that you fell asleep. Did not know that his eyes scanned every nook and crevices of your face. How beautiful you looked to him. How you would always be the prettiest in his eyes. How he looked at you so utterly and deeply in love it hurts to know that the time is ticking.

Oikawa brushes the strand of hair on your face, pushing it behind your ears in an agonizingly slow pace. He takes his time feeling your skin, placing his lips on your forehead and falls asleep with your warmth wrapped against his.

After that night, you and Oikawa grew more affectionate with each other. Sure, you still banter. That would never change. But there was a shift in the air and you knew there was something in there. But neither of you admitted anything. Still friends but much more than just that. Nothing was official and no one acknowledged the elephant in the room.

And you were glad it was never official. Because after graduation, Oikawa’s mom threw a party for him. A graduation party. A farewell party.

It seems like night brings out the intimacy that the morning shies away. Oikawa had led you to the playground behind your house. You remembered playing here with Oikawa and Iwaizumi, practicing volleyball as always.

You climbed up the slide and sat down at the top, letting your feet dangle on the edge. Oikawa sat beside you, his long legs dangling down beside yours. You studied the difference and smiled to yourself.

“I’m going to Argentina” He says, refusing to look at you. His hands are pulled into a fist, trembling. You placed your hand on top of his, his shaking stops as he finally looks your way “That’s great” You said, and you mean it.

He smiles at you but it doesn’t reach his eyes. So you held his cheeks, head tilting to the side “It has always been your dream, Tooru. I can’t believe it’s finally happening”

“It’ll be hard” You snort “Of course. It’s Argentina dude. Japan is still miles away from their skills” Your eyes glint at that, giving Oikawa a determined smile “But we’ll beat you, just you wait”

“I’ll win first” And he means it. You laugh, hand dropping from his cheeks “I’ll look forward to it”

Oikawa gazes at you with so much adoration in his eyes. You were the only person who didn’t tell him his plans were stupid. And he loves you for that.

“I love you” he was the first to crack. Your cheeks turn red, expression shy at his intense gaze “I-I love you too” You stutter, a bit overwhelmed.

Oikawa chuckles “You’re cute” His words don't really help to die down the red in your cheeks. In fact, it only worsens it “Shut up” You grumble indignantly and he laughs.

“Hey, will you be my girlfriend?” At this, you looked at him with a sad smile.

“We can’t” Oikawa knew your answer before he even asked. But he didn’t expect the pain would hurt that much.

“Can’t we try?” His voice is painful and it broke your heart to see him so broken “Tooru” He looks at you pleadingly and he speaks

“I think I've been in love with you all this time. But to be honest-” He bitterly chuckles “-I was envious of you more than I liked you"

"And that's why it's a no" you smiled sadly.

"You love volleyball, Tooru. More than anything else. More than you. More than me" The atmosphere was somber. Until a thought passed by your mind and you tittered.

"More than milk bread" The both of you giggled.

"Yeah...more than milk bread"

Neither of you moved. Not even when the sun rose from its sleep and in a few hours, he'll leave.

He'll leave.

And you have to let him go. Even though he's right there beside you. So close yet so far away. He's there and he loves you. But for his dreams. For him.

You let him go.

And then he's gone. On the other side of the world, thousands and millions of miles away from you. And you regret the three years that could've been so much more if the two of you hadn't been so stupid and so prideful.

And just like that, years and years passed. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi left abroad and only you stayed. Though you did move to Tokyo and worked at a hospital for a few months until the opportunity to work as an assistant manager and physical therapist for MSBY Black Jackals came up. You could only thank the stars for connections. In this field, you only get a chance if someone in it knows you. And luckily for you, you know a ton of them from your years as a manager back in high school.

It’s 2021 and 8 years have passed and you remained in contact with Oikawa. Though you don’t talk as much as you two now have your own separate lives. He has volleyball and you have your athletes. And of course, during the course of those 8 years, the both of you had dated several people. Some long term, some not so long. And inside those 8 years, you’ve finally convinced yourself you’ve moved on from Oikawa Tooru.

The olympics is this year and along with Iwaizumi, you were pulled in to be a manager and their physical therapist. You had made quite the reputation in the industry. What with your genius mind for volleyball, opponent teams that know you fear your analytical skills and your ability to use that knowledge for the benefit of your team. Really, all professional volleyball teams want you. It just so happens that it was MSBY Black Jackals that called you first.

Oikawa doesn’t know that you and Iwaizumi are part of the Japan team. And so when his team emerged, ready to face old rivals, Oikawa swore his eyes jumped at the sight of you and Iwaizumi.

Your heart swelled with pride, lips outstretched to a big smile. You’re proud of him, so so much.

You could only yelp when Oikawa sprinted towards you and pulled you and Iwaizumi in a tight hug. It’s been such a long time since you saw each other. And a thought passed by your head.

The three of you didn’t make it all in the nationals, but you sure did all go to the olympics.

When Japan lost and Argentina won, you didn’t find it in yourself to be sad. Instead, you were happy. Ecstatic. Euphoric. You’re so proud of everyone, of your teammates and rivals. To have made it this far, they were truly beyond just amazing.

๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ ⋆ ࣪. ˖ ࣪⭑ ˖ ࣪ ٬ ุ๋ ⸱ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ ⋆ ࣪. ˖ ࣪⭑ ˖ ࣪ ๋࣭

“You could stay with me” Oikawa says nonchalantly as he takes your bag from your hand, the hubbub of the crowd ringing in your ears as you exit the airport “My car’s right here” He tells you as you near a red sports sedan. Unlocking the car, he placed your bag at the backseat as you sat at the passenger's seat.

You’re in Argentina for the weekend for a seminar for sports physical therapists. Just two days, sure nothing could happen for such a short time.

“Nah, just drive me to a hotel” Oikawa gazed at you mischievously

“What? Afraid I’ll do something?” You threw a box of tissue at him “Shut up bitch” He laughed, taking a seat before starting the car “So you are”

“Please” You scoff.

You ended up staying at his guest room.

His house is in an apartment - a kitchen, a couch, a TV, a fucking gym, and pictures on the wall. His apartment is surprisingly cozy, you noted.

You dropped your phone on the bed, collapsing in fatigue. Your eyes were about to flutter shut when Oikawa’s voice boomed in the room “You should shower. Ya stinky from the flight” You rolled your eyes.

You reluctantly pushed yourself out of bed, passing by him and snatching the towel from his hands. You noticed he already changed into a shirt and shorts. You could see the outline of his muscles, lining down his chest. His thighs in view, you tried hard not to stare.

But of course, Oikawa being the ever asshole that he is, comments “Take a picture! It’ll last!”

Once shower was over, you fell down beside him on the couch, the television on in the sports channel. It’s Schweiden Adlers against Azuma Pharmacy Green Rockets. You smiled thoughtfully at the sight of Ushijima and Goshiki on TV.

“What time tomorrow is your seminar again?” Oikawa asks, passing you the milk break from the coffee table. You took it “8 in the morning until 5” He hums, bread down his throat.

“Wanna go out after? My practice ends at the same time” You yawn “Sure”

True to his words, he picked you up from the university 30 minutes after five. Oikawa took you everywhere, to the beach, to a restaurant, to a park, even to a club. Which is probably why he’s dragging your drunk ass to his apartment at 1 am.

You slipped from his arms and landed on the floor with a thud “Shit” You heard him curse under his breath as he hurriedly closed the door behind him. You felt arms curl around yours causing you to giggle “That tingles”

“How can you get drunk from 2 glasses of vodka?” He mused but you only giggled at him. Oikawa glanced at the clock, 1:42 am. Sighing, Oikawa put a hand under your knees and back, carrying you bridal style to your room.

“Tooru” You exhaled, your hot breath sticking to his face as he laid you down gently on the bed. Gulping, Oikawa turned away, grabbing the blanket to put it over you. He felt your hand enclose his cheek, forcing his gaze to you.

Your cheeks are red, illuminated by the moon that is the only light source in the room. Your hair is a mess and your breath stinks of vodka. Your eyes are closing, hands collapsing on your side as you exhale, dropping your head on the pillow. Oikawa notes the way your eyelashes squint and the mole in your left eyelid. And suddenly, Oikawa felt like he was eighteen again.

You could feel his breath, hear his heavy breathing and you flutter your eyes open. You shrink under his gaze, lips parting unconsciously and Oikawa fought with all his might not to kiss you right there and then. His eyes are half-lidded, filled with desire, longing, and love.

Love. Suddenly, you’re not so drunk anymore.

“Tooru” You breathed out in a soft voice. As if something in him snapped, his lips zoomed into yours in a passionate heated kiss. You moan, slinging your arms on his nape, pulling him closer to you until he was in between your thighs.

“Tooru” You slipped out when he removed his lips on yours only to kiss you again. You could feel the heat of his skin on yours as you pulled and pulled him closer as humanly possible. 8 years flashed through your eyes and all you could think about was how good it feels to have his lips nipping on your neck.

He moans your name, fingers combing through your hair in a desperate attempt to feel all of you. He’s wanted you for so long he couldn’t think straight when he felt your hands dig under his shirt, the cold of your hands digging into his back. He groans, kissing you again in the lips before letting you slip his shirt off his shoulders.

You hum, pulling away to kiss his collarbone, hands feeling his chest down to his abdomen. You felt him tug your shirt and you giggled into his chest, taking your shirt off only for Oikawa to roam his hands on your back, to your front then to your chest. He pressed a soft peck on the flesh of your breasts that wasn’t covered by your bra and he looked up at you and asked “Are you sure?”

“Yes” You exhaled and that was all it took for Oikawa to push you gently deeper to the bed, enjoying the feeling of his fingers working its way down to your legs. He took off your pants, Oikawa took a deep breath at the sight of your cunt. He goes back up to you, nuzzling his head into your neck and whispers “God, the things you make me feel” He airly chuckles.

You took a hold of his cheeks, kissing his eyes, his nose then his lips “I love you”

“I love you too”

“God, I’m nervous” Oikawa starts, jumping lightly as he holds your hand. You rolled your eyes but a smile plastered on your face. You grin at him and he continues “I’ve been an idiot for a very long time-” He pauses and smiles

“-still am” You snort “-but a tad bit better now that I’m with you” A soft, endeared smile crept onto your lips

“I won’t say that I don’t regret all those years that I could’ve been with you. But we both know that was crucial and all that matters is that now I’m with you” His eyes shone and his lips creased into a smile that reached his ears

“I promise to never leave you,” he pushes the ring into your left ring finger “-not even death can do us apart” You hear your family and friends laugh in the background

“I will bother you every step of the way-” you could not help the roll of your eyes “-and love you for the rest of my life”

“Actually, scratch that. I’ll love you even when I die. I’ll love you in my next life. And the one after that, and the one after that. No matter how many times I reborn-” Oikawa takes your hands to his lips, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his soft lips on your knuckles

“-I vow to find you and love you. Like I’ve always had and always will”

For all of your life, Oikawa Tooru has been a constant even at times you wish he wasn’t. There was a time you loathed him, a time you missed him, a time you forgot him, and a time you realized you will never stop loving him.

And as you stand before your creator, in front of your friends and family, promising to love each other till the end of time. The sound of “I do”s and cheers reverberating around the hall, as he kissed you with a tilt of his head.

You fell in love all over again.

i suck at ending lines ajhbsnckl. i’ma edit this later when i ain’t tired AND hungry

#oikawa torū #oikawa imagine #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru imagines #oikawa angst #oikawa fluff #oikawa smut #hq x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #oikawa haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa oneshot #chihomichannelhq

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jamilelucato · 3 years

Text

About him [Fred Weasley]

Pairing: Fred Weasleyx reader (Slytherin but brief mention)

Summary: [y/n] and Fred have always been friends because of their similarities, but after focusing on their differences they ended up missing each other a lot.

A/N: really slow burn except for the fact that I speed it up lol (gif is very much the ice cream shop scene)

Warnings: brief mention of p*rn but it's just for a joke really; and sadness at the very end, much much sadness

harry potter masterlist!

[y/n] and Fred Weasley were classmates, and, even though they were from different houses (she was a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor), they generally ended up in the same circles because they had a lot of friends and common and were purebloods.

They had lots of things in common, but they never really thought much of it or talked about it. Their pureblood families were seen with wicked eyes by the others because they were friendly towards muggles and muggles-borns, and curiously [y/n]'s mother worked in the same department as Fred's dad.

Fred silently understood [y/n], and she sympathized with him as well. But that was as far as their friendship went. They joked with each other and worked well together when assigned — except they were never alone or were clingy towards one another.

Therefore, it was no surprise (nor new) that Fred sat next to her, at the almost end of a party at Ravenclaw. Both had a drink in hand and were laughing at their friends' jokes. Suddenly, the big group divided itself into pairs that were talking together, and [y/n] saw herself in a position to make conversation with Fred.

"Where's George?" she politely asked him while sipping her cup.

He looked down at her — even sitting, it was clear he was taller.

"Honestly," his eyes were smiling, "I have no idea."

She half-smiled, half laughed, which was her usual reaction when speaking to Fred. He had a humorous way of expressing himself even when it was not funny.

"Aren't you worried?"

"With George? No," Fred chocked; with a raised brow. "He'll manage. Wherever he is."

"Probably with a girl," [y/n] said with a calm tone that surprised Fred.

He knew he and his twin had a reputation (perhaps even Dumbledore did), but he didn't expect little miss [y/n] to mention that with such naturality. He didn't know why it bothered him; was it because he hoped to preserve his image of a good boy or because it was her?

"Wait, what about you?" she asked, realizing he didn't say anything about George. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"Ex-girlfriend," corrected Fred in a huff. "We broke up last week."

[y/n] took a long while to stare at him, analyzing his features — the more she looked, the more concerned Fred got.

She didn't know about the news regarding Fred and Angelina, but she was nowhere near worried.

"Well, by the end of next week, you two will be together again," she shrugged, looking back at her drink.

"Not at all," Fred denied, moving his face.

"Come on, Fred," [y/n] lowered her hands, "you guys never last too much apart; at this point, it's almost annoying."

He stared at her, more shocked than before.

"You guys are always breaking up," she pointed out, this time with a sweeter tone, scared she was offending him.

"True," granted Fred, "but this time is for real."

"You said that last time," remembered [y/n], unable to hold her smile at the end of her sentence and making Fred smile too.

There was a pause before Fred decided to defend his point.

"I don't..." he swallowed. "Angie and I... we both know the relationship isn't going anywhere."

"Wow," [y/n] was surprised. They always talked about Fred's break-ups but never before had he said something like that. "You're serious."

Fred ignored her comment.

"George and I want to do something big, you know? And I need to be real about it, so might as well be serious about everything else."

[y/n] considered his comment. She knew it was his dream to open the joke shop. She also knew his parents were not very okay with that.

Another thing they had in common, she supposed. Her parents didn't support her dream of being an actress either. They were okay with her pursuing a career in the muggle world, but they did not want it to be acting.

"It's a good plan, you know, " she said, finally. "Just... don't lose your charm."

"Don't lose my charm, you say?" Fred smirked, getting closer to her, their legs touching each other in the small blue sofa of Ravenclaw.

"Not that charm," she said through her teeth, shoving him with her shoulder. But even when she hated him using his smirk with her, she ended up smiling. "I meant your drollery."

"Oh," he leaned back, the smirk fading. "I suppose that if Snape wasn't able to erase my joy, nothing can."

He was right, of course.

"And you, huh?" Fred asked, noticing that if he remained in silence, the conversation would die. "How's the porn acting career going?"

She pushed him again with her free hand this time, and he laughed it off. She was sure it hurt, though, because he remained to brush up and down his arm.

"I don't want to be a porn star, you creep," [y/n] hissed, but she wasn't that angry with his comment as she was leading him into thinking. "And I suppose it's going as slow as it can go when you are only sixteen and lives in your school."

"And have unsupporting parents," added Fred, tilting his head, feeling very clever with his suggestion. Until he looked at her and saw she was frozen. "Sorry, I didn't m...."

"You're right," she sighed, gulping her drink until she drank it all. Then, startling Fred, she started laughing, but it was nowhere near a desperate laugh as he expected. "Gosh, I just want to be over with school."

"Shocking enough, me too," agreed Fred, entering her cheerful mood with a smile of himself.

Two Years Later...

She avoided going to the Diagon Alley for various reasons, but the most important was to dodge encountering old classmates. But the Wizarding World was at the brink of war, and [y/n]'s mom insisted that her daughter should go out and buy everything they could need in case they had to go into hiding.

After hours of shopping, she left her parents at one of the stores and walked all by herself to the ice cream place, where she hoped to have a minute to sit down and breathe.

She was contemplating the busy streets, filled with workers and other wizards, all with the same desperate look her mom had on her face. She had noticed when Fred and George walked in the shop, but she hoped her well-placed table would be enough to hide her.

It wasn't.

"Oh, [y/n]!" shouted Fred, after taking the ice cream he chose with the attendant. He stepped in her direction, the expression in his face pure joy.

They had bumped into each other after school, but they always had other places to go and be, which left them with a chance only to say hi. But, seeing her, calmly, sitting with her ice cream, Fred thought it was the perfect chance to catch up with his long time friend.

"How are you?" he asked, smiling.

Noticing she had no escape, she pointed to the remaining empty chair at her table for him to sit and finally answered.

"Oh, you know," she shrugged. "Every day's crazier than the one before, and we never know how tomorrow is gonna be, so..." she dredged. "But I heard your shop is outstanding itself — congrats, Fred."

Fred only blushed because he didn't have time to comment on her praise since George appeared next to them, with his ice cream in his hands.

"Hi, [y/n]," he smiled, but his expression and tone were nowhere near the joy in Fred's.

"How are you, George?" she asked politely, noticing that she was braver to do small talk with George than Fred.

"Fine as one can be knowing Voldy's out there," answered the twin, his voice tone so standardized, it showed how many times had he answered that. "You do believe in his return, right?" he asked; suddenly, he remembered she used to be a Slytherin.

[y/n] pretended not to care when George suggested so easily otherwise, even though Fred, in front of her, seemed close to slapping his twin. She was used to other people's prejudice.

"Oh, I do," she said. "I'm with parents buying supplies, really but, right now, I just ran away from them."

"They're getting on your nerves?" asked Fred, quickly remembering their time in school when [y/n]'s mom used to send her letters almost every day.

[y/n] took in Fred's friendly and joking smile. She didn't realize she missed the twins. Missed Fred.

"My mom knows how to stress someone," [y/n] let out.

"Probably learned with ours," commented George, sighing playfully. Then he turned to his twin, "Fred, we gotta go; we can't leave Verity alone for too long."

Fred pressed his eyes shut with enormous force — he knew his twin was correct, but he didn't want to leave.

"Go ahead, George, I'll catch up," Fred said finally, avoiding [y/n]'s eyes, scared it would reveal that she did not want him there.

They were friends or at least used to be, and after school, they just lost touch. [y/n] pushed herself away from all her friends on purpose, and Fred didn't think he could be an exception. Besides, she spent most of her time in the muggle world, pursuing her career — which was no secret to the gossip of wizardly London that she was failing. She had yet to get any parts in any movies or plays, and the most prestigious families were saying all horrible things about her.

His own mother was one of the gossipers spreading rumours, but every time she said anything near Fred, he would jump at her, shutting her up.

"So..." she started saying and scratched her throat. "How's your family?" she asked finally. "I bet your mom doesn't complain about the joke shop anymore."

He smiled. It could be awkward between them sometimes, but it was pretty easy to fall into a comfortable flow.

"She doesn't, you're right," he laughed with his nose, pausing to take his ice cream. "And Ron is always asking us for money now."

"As he would," [y/n] smiled, remembering tenderly of the lovely Weasley family.

"And you? How's the career going?" he almost joked as he used to do, mentioning she was a porn star, but now that the rumours said she basically had no career, he was scared she had run to that option as her last resort. And who was he to judge?

"You mean acting?" she asked and puffed, playing with her ice cream. "I've given up on it not so long after I left Hogwarts."

"You're kidding."

"Nope," she sighed. "I tried, sure, 'cause I'm not that coward, but.. it was clear it wouldn't turn out to be anything. I'm always the weirdo at auditions, always saying something wrong... I thought watching tons of muggle movies would leave me as a great performer of the muggles' grimaces, but it sure didn't. Or simply just wasn't enough."

"I can't believe you quit," he said. "You craved it so much back at school."

"That's cause I didn't know what it really was like back at school," she sighed again. "They don't want me not even backstage."

"That can't be true!" Fred looked — and it probably was the first time [y/n] had seen him like that — a mix of angry and exasperation.

"Don't let it get over your head, Fred," she avoided his eyes. "I don't."

He stared at her, for a moment just the two of them and the silence.

"Besides, I'm working with my dad at his muggle bookshop," she shrugged. "You should stop by anytime. if there's someone that can make you read a book, and like it, it's my dad."

Fred still wanted to talk about [y/n]'s acting career but he understood the subject could still be sensitive to her.

"I doubt that," Fred let himself smile again.

They spent more minutes talking, picking up in all the subjects they could and then reliving old memories until Fred remembered he had to go back to work.

He got up, saying his goodbyes, while [y/n] stood there, her ice cream already eaten.

"See you, Fred," she said, her tone clear of her sadness.

Fred only took two steps before turning back at her. He pressed his hands in his pants pockets — a million feelings going to his head, most of them telling him to give up.

But he remembered how much he wanted to do that since Hogwarts, and with her, and only with her, he simply never gathered enough courage.

And that wasn't fair.

[y/n] deserved a chance with him as much as any girl. He deserved a chance with her as much as any guy.

"[y/n]," he swallowed, nervous as her eyes met his, "would you by any chance like to go out with me?"

"I'd love to!" she said, not even remembering she ever wanted to go out with him, but now feeling like that was all she ever craved.

Two Days Later...

The night had been exciting. Spending hours before a mirror, hoping for the best look had paid off, [y/n] noticed because Fred Weasley couldn't stop staring at her with big eyes.

They managed to talk a bit about everything, always having something new to add to their conversation. Even when they remained in silence, it wasn't bad. It was anxious but great.

And then he insisted on dropping her off, which only made her more nervous. She wanted to kiss him and she hoped so badly he enjoyed his night as much as she had so he would want to kiss her too.

At Hogwarts, she could not deny it, it had occurred to her kissing Fred. However, it was always when she was too drunk to manage a congruent thought or when her friends asked who of their friends she could kiss. But the fact is: they never did.

A corner of her mind wondered if she ever really did have a window with him back then, but school memories were all a blur in her mind. It seemed obvious now that she and Fred could match, but back then, not so much.

Fred was thinking the same. He liked her. He always did.

They knew each other before Hogwarts, and even if at first (she being a Slytherin and all) they were apart, their friendship rose so easily on their second year and managed to stay firm until the very end.

He remembered wanting to kiss her but it was never as bad as he wanted now, when he had her hand in his, and she was blushing simply because they were standing side to side.

And when he finally did, finally allowed his lips to touch hers — heavens — he could have died right then. It felt right. It felt good.

Fred had kissed many times before, but none felt as close to perfection as this time.

He pulled her in softly by her cheek, letting his lips simply brush against hers and she gasped, opening her mouth, desperate for more.

Then his hands were everywhere, and [y/n] was not reserved herself. She pulled forward, holding grasp of his hair, and it was unclear to determine who would let go first.

Perhaps never let go was a good solution. They both thought so.

One Year Later...

Fred Weasley lied before her, forever moveless.

She could not believe it.

She reached for his cold hands and squeezed, hoping her touch would be enough to reverse what was irreversible.

On both of her sides, there was a Weasley crying, desperate as much as her.

But the only one feeling as hollow as her, the only one that could compete as her sadness was George. No words were able to comfort.

Not right there, not at the burial ceremony, not at her empty apartment above the joke shop.

Everything reminded her of him.

They had been together for only a year, but he was her best friend before that. Somehow, when she played different scenarios in her head, she felt like she could have suffered more if they had stayed just as friends.

It was the latest memories the ones that hurt the most. She knew they were in danger when the war began, but both were not going anywhere, and Fred had hope.

Every night in hiding he would hold her against his bare chest and whisper that they were going to be okay. Sometimes he even joked she would get out of it with a movie deal about the Wizarding War.

[y/n] and George helped each other out of their worst moments, creating a friendship tighter than they had before. But, eventually, she knew that without Fred she did not belong in the joke shop building.

At Fleur's and Bill's wedding, Fred had made her promise she would try the film industry once again.

"You know," he said, whispering in her year while they slow danced, "your dad says you like to write. Perhaps you should write a script."

"Perhaps," she smiled. "But about what should the movie script be?"

"About me, of course," he joked.

How she wished he was there with her.

Walking in to deliver her first script.

About them.

About her.

About him.

#fred weasley #fred and george #fred weasley x reader #fred and goerge weasley #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #george weasley #george weasley x reader #james phelps #weasley twins #draco malfoy

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bbhyeoliskooks · 3 years

Note

Can I request an angst where Yeonjun breaks up with you but then wants you back a few weeks later?

«❝ 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐖𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ❞»

Yeonjun was the one to break up with you, so why does he want you back now?

➸ check part two out here !

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Pairing: Yeonjun x Reader (female)

Genre: 5 cups of angst and maybe 2 cups of fluff ?

Warnings: harassment, alcohol consumption, cussing, yeonjun is a big jerk in this :ccc, cliffhanger ending, not edited so if i make a mistake... oopsies

Song: I’ll Never Love This Way Again

(I wasn’t sure if I could do a happy ending, but you just have to find that outtt 😌😌~~ i’m so sorry that it came so late too ! i just didn’t expect there’d be tons of assignments this week??? anyway, if you want me to make a part two, of course i can ! requests are always open 🥺💓)

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Everything was fine.

When Choi Yeonjun made the first move under your favorite spot in the whole world during the time both of you were stargazing, you felt his smile brush up against your lips as you kissed him to your heart’s content. Finally, the boy of your dreams was yours. You hadn’t thought this would be coming for a long time, but you were so happy it turned out this way instead of a permanent, platonic friendship- one that was simply excruciating whenever you saw him and his adorable, fluffy cheeks. Warm infatuation flowed through your veins making you kiss him deeper, allowing him to be in your arm’s embrace while your heart swelled in joy. This was love.

You knew deep in your heart that everything was fine and was going to be fine, for that matter.

Said boy gently cupped your cheek, and you melted into his touch under the glistening, white moonlight. He was so warm, you never wanted to lose that even if you gave up the entire universe to be with him.

He was happy.

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach while you fondly gazed at his pure, bright smile, not being able to look away from his brown eyes which captivated you every single moment of the day. In a crowd of people, you were sure he’d be the one person you’d look at, and not to mention the only one. He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. What difference was it going to make if you made it official?

And so you were too.

“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured so softly he wondered if you actually heard it.

You had.

“I love you too, Yeonjun.”

Everything was fine.

Up until now.

Call you cheesy or anything else, but all you wanted to do for the day was drop some food off at your boyfriend’s house before going out to a few of your classes. Your boyfriend of eight months, actually. You doubted that anybody else numbered their months as an anniversary, but who was counting? It had been a while since you seen each other due to studies and exams, so you assumed that this would be the perfect time to visit him for a couple minutes while he’s having troubles on a few assignments. Easily, a couple minutes could turn into hours and you’d find yourself missing class unintentionally.

Although at the same time, spending time with your boyfriend was the best! And he’s made you smile so much these past months that you were really starting to understand why you loved him so much. Those sparkling eyes which held all the starts from the Milky Way Galaxy in them, those sweet lips which never failed to calm you down whenever your patience wore thin, and that sweet heart that protected you from all evil in the world. Point is, he was the perfect boyfriend and there wasn’t even once a time where he would hurt you! After all, you knew that he loved you so much as well. He promised he would always be right beside you, and the Choi Yeonjun never ever goes back on his promises.

Entering the house with the spare key he gave you for emergencies, you hesitated for a few seconds when you heard his voice ripple throughout the silent kitchen. Was this right? It wasn’t an emergency, but what if Yeonjun was really hungry and needed you? You could picture his pouty lips whine whenever you asked him if he wanted something to eat, and the imaginary sight made you grin with delight. Still, you were unsure if you could just budge in without his permission. Like the loving boy he is, he assured you every time that it was okay, managing to convince you in the near future which was technically now that he adored in whenever you planned a surprise visit for him.

You shut the door softly, enough for it not to create any sounds that could signal you arrived. Knowing how much Yeonjun loved when you came over by the way he kept encouraging you to come over whenever you had free time, you made sure not to make any sound in order to be the sunshine in his day. It could too much for other people, but hey! Seeing him happy because of you made the pride in your chest grow, like you were on top of the world. Just a simple visit would do, right?

“Yeah Bin, I just think they’re really clingy, don’t you agree?”

His velvety voice caused you to stand still in your spot, paralyzed as your mind was reeling with a variety of thoughts. Your excitement instantly burned down in flames, your curiosity growing as you slowly inched around the familiar kitchen. Luckily you weren’t noticed, albeit that was good since you didn’t have the desire to be seen anyway. Who was he talking about? Could it be someone you know?

“Nowadays, I don’t see them as much, and I’m so happy I don’t. Like, who would want to come home to that thing? If we lived together, I sure as hell know that I wouldn’t be able to stand a minute with them, if not much more than a second.”

The pounding in your chest grew faster with every single second that passed, for if he caught you, you knew that he would be extremely disappointed. As a couple, it was important to trust each other, and especially when one of them needed their privacy. But the wonder of who it was was far stronger, overpowering the fear of being caught. Yeonjun would definitely hate you for this if he ever found out, but that didn’t mean he had to know. You felt like you were doing something by listening to him, an impending feeling in your gut which only signaled trouble.

“I think I’m getting tired of them. All they do is wear my clothes when they know they have their own and cry to me about their problems every single night. They’re always like this and that, making you do things that you don’t want to do. It’s really annoying, you don’t understand,” he added as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Your heart sunk to the ground, shattering into a million yet heavy pieces once you registered who they were talking about.

It was you.

Yeonjun chuckled at your newfound misery, not acknowledging you were there as he traced his finger over the marble counter. “And don’t you try to defend them, Soobin. I know you guys are good friends, but if you dated them then you would really know how stupid they are. To be honest, their problems turn out that way just because they’re such an idiot. Who knew I would be stuck with a dimwit like them?!”

He burst into laughter, but you heard nothing from the other line. Internally, you thanked Soobin for not finding humor out of the situation, but there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you heard him tell more and more about what he hated about you.

Was it that easy to say?

Too tired to hear the rest, you gently shut the door, leaving as soon as he made another joke about your affection. The bag of food clanked against the porch loudly, causing the shutter of the windows to flicker inside the house but you didn’t care anymore if he came out to see you like this. He said you were pathetic, and that’s what you are. If you can’t even do one thing, then why even try due to the fact that you aren’t good enough for him? Your eyes were betraying your will now, welling up with tears of disappointment in yourself. You should’ve known, you should’ve known! Look what happens when you depend on people too much, this is all your fault!

You went home like a fool with your stunned voice not permitting you to say anything about what you heard from him. Maybe if you just endured it a bit more, he would come to realize that you were only doing what you did since you loved him with all your heart. This couldn’t be your boyfriend, perhaps he was stressed with all of the exams they’re giving. This wasn’t him, it just couldn’t! How could he say all of that?

He was for you, and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. That was that.

Certainly everything was going to be okay... right?

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Just like Yeonjun wanted, you did everything in your power to make sure that he was comfortable with his own space. You placed the stolen clothes you loved to wear whenever you missed him during the time you knew he wasn’t home because of dragged out classes. You didn’t text or call him as much, knowing that he would probably get annoyed if you bothered him too many times to count on both hands. You didn’t plan surprise visits anymore when you had the time, choosing to coop yourself in your bedroom as you waited for him to say something- to say anything.

Maybe he would actually come talk to you, right? It’s been almost three weeks since you’ve seen each other. Maybe he would notice the missing piece in his life which was you, right? He always told you he adored whenever you called him your soulmate, as cheesy as it is. Maybe he would at least explain why he’s being like this, right? He strove to do the right things in your relationship even if it cost him his pride. It was because he loved you.

That’s what you thought.

He didn’t, and you were left shattered in pieces. Disappointment clouded your heart as you thought well of him, the hope in your chest gradually becoming less and less each day for the time the two of you did not speak. Instantaneously, you felt terrible about yourself, understanding why he thought of you to be so clingy that it was almost suffocating.

All the while, that ended up with the two of you getting even more further apart.

You hated it, but what hurt the most was that you weren’t sure if he cared about you anymore.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Hey babe, can we talk today? I need to tell you something, so meet me up at Moonlight.”

When Yeonjun asked you to meet up with him at your favorite spot, the one you both deemed to be your place, you were absolutely thrilled to see him. It was nearing four weeks since you haven’t seen each other which was quite surprising to you; you never knew how well you could hold up without him in the first place. Moonlight was the code name for the place you both ended up confessing to each other since it was incredibly vivid in your hazy memory. You couldn’t help but remember Yeonjun’s bright smile directed towards you when you mentioned the name.

Jittery, you made sure to put on the perfume he gifted you on your first month anniversary, spraying it just enough so that it wouldn’t overwhelm him. It was no wonder that you wanted to look your best for him, for perhaps he would finally tell you that he loved you again! You’ve been waiting for that day since forever, patience becoming frayed from the anticipation that consumed you every single day.

Your nerves were practically a scrambling mess as you walked yourself there, hoping that everything with Yeonjun was doing well. Gosh, you missed his fluffy cheeks so much and his cuddles you swore you were going to go crazy. His scent was no longer on your pillows and you had to admit that you really missed it. But really, this was a good sign! You knew that everything was going to be fine, just fine. He was going to be right by your side, right by your side where he would stay but why was this gut feeling in your fluttering stomach trying to convince you differently?

When you arrived there, heart thumping as you watched his head peek up instead of staring at the ground, you suddenly felt your eyes gather up with tears. It was pathetic to cry in front of him, but you missed him so much that just seeing him made your whole world feel complete. As always, he looked perfect when his eyes found yours, looking you up and down and staring to see if you’ve changed one bit.

You waved at him shyly, words becoming stuck in your throat as you took in his beauty that never failed to amaze you. A smile struck your lips, stepping towards him with bravery even if you were scared you were doing something wrong. He wasn’t smiling like usual, so maybe something happened in his personal life? You wanted to be there for him through times like these. However, all you had to do now was hope for the best once he spoke up.

“Y/N, I...”

His voice faltered when he stared at your gentle expression, unable to find the courage in what he was going to say.

How was he going to break it to you?

“Yeonjun,” you stated simply, raising an eyebrow at why he was so vulnerable all of a sudden. His breath became heavy when you mentioned his name but he remained strong, standing as tall as he could to finally say-

“Y/N, I’m breaking up with you.”

... What?

He’s breaking up with you?

You couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, all the words going through one ear and out the other.

There was no way. There was no way he was breaking up with you. You were for him and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. There’s no reason why he would be leaving you right now, he just couldn’t do that!

He sighed, shaking his head at your dumbfound expression. “I just... I just I don’t think we’re right for each other. We don’t have any interest talking to each other anymore, and you know how easy it is to give up, right? That’s what we should do, and I know you’ll definitely find someone else.”

You still weren’t able to say anything, shock taking over you as your eyebrows furrowed and tensed up. Since when was he like this? He said he never gives up on anything, so why is he giving up on you now?

“You’re a great person and all, but I have to break up with you, alright?” His velvet voice which you swore loved you just as much made every single hope and dream die in your soul, the words he said breaking your poor heart even further.

You couldn’t possibly understand- you just couldn’t!

He was for you and you were for him. He loved you, and you loved him. It’d always been like that! You kept repeating over and over again in your head, trying to convince yourself that this was a bad dream that you needed to wake up from.

He didn’t say anything else, the sudden silence deafening your ears as you did your best to conjure up something to say.

“B-but why...?”

But why? All the sympathy from before drained from his heart once he heard those words and he couldn’t contain himself, chuckling at your misconception. Why couldn’t you get it through your thick head that he was being the right one here? It was the hard truth, you needed to realize that like he did.

“You can’t be serious, can you? It isn’t that hard to understand, I’m just saying that we should break up once and for all,” the boy muttered under his breath.

Was it that easy to say? Was it that easy to break someone you loved? Was it that easy to hurt someone you thought the world of?

The anger built up from weeks before rushed in you and you charged up to him, punching him in the chest with all you had to give. It was too weak to feel anything, honestly. He couldn’t help but smirk at your fragility.

“Yeonjun, how could you do this?!” You heaved, voice becoming stronger without realizing it. You threw another punch, strength failing you over and over again. “I gave everything to you!” You hit him again. “I did everything in my power just so that you’d be happy!” You hit him again. “I went against my own heart in trying not to contact you as you’d like, but it all came down to this?” He watched tears one by one trickle down your cheeks as your voice thinned with hopelessness, but he just wasn’t able to feel anything.

“You just weren’t good enough.”

It was like that one phrase set you off, and you clung to him like a fool, taking his freezing hands into yours while the atmosphere became thick with tension. Perhaps if you could’ve done something from the past the way he liked it, he wouldn’t leave you. Perhaps if you just worked on yourself and your appearance a bit more, he would actually find something to love. Perhaps if you just tried harder, everything would be fine. But why? Why had all your efforts gone to waste just like this?

“What can I do then? What can I do to make you love me again? Tell me, please! I want to fix everything, I have to fix what we have!” You gripped his shirt as hard as you could, your knuckles turning white from how hard you were doing so. His scent which gave you euphoria every time you sensed he was near had now turned sour, making your stomach churn with dead, exhausted butterflies you weren’t sure how to clean up.

There was no remorse in Yeonjun’s heart as he stared down at you, combing his fingers through his hair in frustration. This was much harder than what he had assumed, but you’d eventually move on, right? He honestly couldn’t say that he cared, and it was a bit funny to see how desperate you were.

“I don’t love you anymore, Y/N, get over it,” he said before pushing you away towards the tree you used to have dates under.

You then stumbled on your feet, almost falling over due to dizziness which numbed your senses. The thorny-like bark of the tree slit a few cuts on your arm, making you groan with tears in your eyes. You searched frantically to where he could be, eyes easily falling upon his body, where every single second you witnessed became excruciating both physically and mentally. Your chest twisted with unbearable agony while you watched him leave, walking out of your life as if it was the easiest thing to do. The splinters dug against the flesh of your skin, but you couldn’t care less. He was leaving. He was leaving, and you were just allowing it to happen.

“Yeonjun, please don’t do this to me!”

You hoped he would hear you.

“I know it’s all my fault, but please don’t leave me!”

You hoped he would just listen.

“I want you to stay, Yeonjun! Please!”

You hoped he would know how much you loved him so much to the point where you would die without him.

“Yeonjun, I still love you!”

But it didn’t work.

“Please...” You reached out to him in desperation that he would come back, but the once familiar figure slowly but surely left your life, taking your torn heart without giving you one, last glance.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

To say you were a wreck was an understatement.

If an absolute pathetic mess who didn’t take care of their hygiene as they laid in bed all day, going through several tubs of ice cream was enough to say that you were a wreck, then that was it. But clearly, that in itself was not good enough just like what he said. You were terrible, clearly in shambles after what he had said to you. Faults upon faults kept piling upon the bitter taste of your tongue no matter how much you tried to distract yourself by doing the things you loved. In this situation, it seemed that hobbies didn’t work at all. The things you did had no purpose without him. It would only come out as second best, and you could even say this was the worst you’ve ever done them. All of it came down because of the breakup. How could you live without the boy who made you so happy every single day?!

So in turn, it had to be your fault for doing this. It had to be your fault because you tried so hard and yet it just wasn’t good enough. You caught yourself thinking that if you just changed yourself a little, maybe then everything could be different, and the two of you could be happy in love like always. That only weighed on your heart because you knew you were such a fool for him, hopelessly devoted for something that would never come.

Plus, it was bad enough that no one cared about you so much to even look after your well-being even if you felt terrible about getting help. Showing sympathy was the worst option ever since it only reminded you of how your ex would shower you with love and affection whenever something abominable happened to your heart. Looks like that wouldn’t happen now.

Soobin tried calling you a lot after he heard that Yeonjun broke up with you, but you didn’t give him any chance to talk to you. If he did, then you would burst into tears at his voice saying something along the lines of the words, ‘are you okay?’ Obviously, you wouldn’t be able to handle it if he saw you like this- like a sobbing mess that no one else could ever love.

A day passed of watching shows you used to love, and that didn’t work either. No spark of light passed your eyes while you gazed upon the screen you and Yeonjun used to share, laughing about your favorite characters who you would give the world to but were honestly too stupid to realize that they caused the problem in the first place. You weren’t able to help the tears that gathered up like puddles in your eyes when you saw Yeonjun’s favorite character, the one he adored all the time whenever you two watched tv together.

Every single place you looked at, it would only remind you of him. The couch where you two would cuddle all the time, and the one where Yeonjun slept on if you forced him out. Sometimes when you both were having a bad day, some things would lead up to another with shouting and angry eyebrows due to the cause of each other. Although that would be solved in no time and more times than necessary, you would find yourself sleeping on top of his chest so he’d wake up to you apologizing to him. With lots of soft kisses too! He said he loved you, and that was that. You loved him too.

Really, you couldn’t go a day without him so why was it so different now? What happened to the loving boyfriend Yeonjun used to be?

Just a day after he broke up with you, you found your spare key you gave to him right in front of your house, waiting expectantly for you to pick it up as if it was nothing special. Just the sight of it was enough to bring you tears and you threw it over the streets as if it was nothing. It didn’t get very much far though, but the only thing your mind screamed about was Choi Yeonjun this, Choi Yeonjun that, Choi Yeonjun every-single-where. If it was something from him, you wanted nothing to do with it! Except maybe his sweaters and pillows that still had the scent of him, yeah.

It would be strange if someone found it right on the black pavement your driveway, huh? And definitely used it to unlock your house in the wee hours of the night. Wait! And not even bothering to knock on the door before coming inside with the key that they found too. That would be totally strange...

It seemed the idea got to Soobin when he showed up to your house without you knowing, being smart enough to use the key to open the door. You awoke to his gentle voice luring you out of bed at like two in the morning, apparently just checking up to see if you were okay. Once hearing that, you sobbed onto his white sweatshirt, pretty much feeling bad that you wrecked both his mood to the max and his poor sweater that was victim to both your spit and tears.

A bleak outcome became of this even if he assured you so many times that it was okay. His shoulder and shirt in the upcoming days were your soggy tissues for the moments where you cried, but that gave you much ranting to let out anyway. Soobin couldn’t believe his very own best friend had the audacity to do this, but it wasn’t his business to do anything but help. He didn’t mention anything to Yeonjun who laughed about your ashamed expression when he listed the reasons to your shortcomings, though it wasn’t like he cared enough about him to see for the time being. He didn’t tell you either, for he didn’t know how you’d react. What he knew mostly was that you were busy cursing Yeonjun and his perfect, white smile that still very much caused flutters to your heart.

Little did you know that Soobin’s everlasting, sweet kindness would get you somewhere farther than what you could’ve ever expected; even if it meant eating tubs of ice cream just to make yourself feel better.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Time goes too fast for your brain to comprehend.

It’s been... almost one month since that very day.

That very day where Yeonjun broke up with you, marking it a month anniversary of where the love of your life crushed your entire being. That very day where you promised yourself you wouldn’t ever love again. That very day where you realized what the true meaning of what love really is.

So far, you haven’t heard about Yeonjun. Soobin didn’t tell you anything- which you were thankful for- otherwise you would’ve had a mental breakdown about his fluffy cheekies or the bright smile you so longed to have back. Likewise, he said he didn’t mention anything about you to Yeonjun, but you knew the boy was doing well without you. It’s been a long, rough month and you were obviously itching to move on, but that was what broke you the most.

You did your best to avoid him. You ripped every single photo you had of him in your albums although it caused you so much pain, you burned every single sweater you still had left in your closet for safekeeping, you threw all of the anniversary gifts he gave you- even the promise ring so that you wouldn’t go insane. Even you were surprised at how much you could do by yourself in trying to move on. And little by little, you could tell it was working. Soobin was proud.

In classes that you were with him, you made sure to sit at the end of the room so that he wouldn’t dare to notice you. Sometimes you’d find yourself staring at him whenever the teacher droned on and on, but luckily you got back into the lesson by engaging yourself by drawing in a few of your old notes to study from. The long hallways were crowded with tons of people, so there’s no way he’d see you too! You made sure of that. At lunch, you instead went to restaurants to waste some time until the next period started again. You made sure everything was perfect. You did everything in your power not to see him.

Passing period was just for a while, and you met up with Soobin who seemed to be a mess with his black hair all over his eyes. You bit back laughter at his ignorance.

“Thank you so much for helping me Soobin,” grinning, you passing him some bread from your lunch bag that you knew he would like. He accepted it generously, gnawing down on it as he shot you one of those eye smiles he knew you were weak for.

"Of course! You’re my friend, why wouldn’t I help you? Also this bread is much more yummy than Yeonjun’s cook-” speaking of the devil, you caught sight of the boy with blue hair (something you admired as you stared at him) who was walking in your direction. His head was turned to the side as he laughed with his friend, but that laughter was enough to shatter your heart all over again

Grabbing Soobin, you pulled him out to the other hall where luckily Yeonjun wouldn’t be able to see you two if he didn’t go there. You hoped he wouldn’t. He would see how you weren’t over him yet! One of you, you couldn’t discriminate between them, sighed. Your heart was thumping way too loudly in your chest in which you were sure anybody could hear it and you teared up, laying a shaking hand over your chest. That was a close one. That was so close, he could’ve seen you like this- like such a mess who wasn’t good enough.

“It’s because you saw Yeonjun, right?” Soobin’s hands gripped your arms as you suddenly felt overwhelmed with dizziness. What happened to your posture and your stature? You shook horribly, nodding your head at his words. Again, there was a bitter taste in your mouth as you avoided Soobin’s eyes. He must’ve been disappointed in you, but you just couldn’t do it.

“Yeah. I saw him again, and he could’ve seen me,” you spoke softly only he could hear it, clear tears of agony becoming one puddle onto the hard ground.

You weren’t sure if you could handle seeing him. You couldn’t allow yourself to after how hard you’ve been working.

Soobin just pursed his lips, pulling you in for another embrace of his. He doesn’t mind giving them to you whenever you needed it, and seeing you like this hurt him just as much as it did when you saw Yeonjun. Nonetheless, you were surprised at his manner despite the sadness that clouded your vision. You were expecting him to reprimand you since you were doing so well and this could be the next big step, but he didn’t. You knew that was only because he was only worried for you anyway.

What you didn’t know was that when Yeonjun turned the halls to see the two of you holding each other in the dark while you did your best not to make any sounds, he glared at Soobin who found him in the corner of his eye. In response, he furrowed his eyebrows back to him, laying his chin comfortably on top of the head as if it was what he always did. They both stood there for a few moments as your chest heaved up and down with heart-wrenching sounds of hiccups that echoed through the hallway, but not one of them dared to move moved. Yeonjun then shook his head, turning away as his loud, mocking steps were practically silent to you who sobbed on the one you knew you depended too much on. Soobin noticed that his annoyed expression was brimming with green, monstrous jealousy, obviously at the sight. But he didn’t want to tell you.

You didn’t stop yourself from crying until the soothing voice above reminded you that it was finally time for your next class. Pulling yourself together was the hardest thing to do in that moment as your stomach coiled with a churning spin. You wanted to throw up as regret bubbled in your fake smile. How would you ever move on if Soobin didn’t feel the need to help you?

Future you would’ve definitely gave her everything just to tell you that Soobin’s help failed.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

Was it too early to say that you totally regretted coming here in the first place with Soobin?

All these people dancing upon each other and making out in whatever they could find weren’t your thing. Every place your eyes landed upon was something you definitely needed the eye bleach for, it was too disgusting for you to even glance at once in a while. It could be the drinks that are making people like this, but where was their modesty? You wanted to choke from how much they shoved it in your face that they were happy. That’s also due to the fact that they made you feel extremely single as well, but not the point!

Instead you were standing near the “punch” table, staring down at your drink since it was so much better to look at instead of people eating their faces out. Some of the boys tried to get you notice them, but you paid no mind to them. No amount of catcalls about what you chose to wore or the seductive snickers they sent your way could pull you out from your trance of the hypnotizing cup. None of them were as cute as your standards anyway... which was still Yeonjun.

A cup wouldn’t hurt tonight. Just one cup would be fine, wouldn’t it? You winced at the taste, nose scrunching up with disgust when you downed it again. It was hasty to put some more in the cup while you poured the most you’d ever done before, taking no time to repeat the same action. You knew that in a couple of minutes- hours or so, you’d probably end up drunk and alone on the dance floor, but who cares. No but seriously, who cares? Not even yourself, so maybe once you could actually find a distraction which, or for that matter, who makes you feel better.

One cup.

Two cups.

Some things led to another and what surrounded you became blurry, hazy, and too raggedy to make sense of.

You weren’t expecting to hear a familiar voice from out the corner send shivers down your back, prodding at your heart as you almost spit back your drink into the same cup.

It was in no doubt, him.

A lump appeared in your throat, making you choke on your own spit. Soobin lied, that rat lied to you! Was it on purpose or that he really didn’t know? You sure had to give it back to him by socking him in the stomach once you made eye contact with him. Otherwise they were having a date here, but you knew Yeonjun well enough that he wouldn’t do this from your past experiences.

However, that wasn’t the point! You got back to your surroundings, taking sneaky glances at who you’d been dreading to see this whole month.

“Please, no! It can’t be him!” You whisper-shouted to no one, holding your breath as the same scent with the same voice inched closer to you in slow steps. It passed through your nose, making your stomach churn with anxiety as you heard his *feet draw nearer and nearer and nearer to you. You could feel the breath in your lungs depleting as your eyes widened with fear, too paralyzed in your spot to move away. Was he going to hurt you even more now?

Move, please! Just move your legs and leave!

“Y/N, baby...? Please tell me that’s you,” Yeonjun gently called, getting closer with slow stomps and an aching heart in mind. He took in your bored facial features, the thumping in his ears getting louder and louder as seconds passed. It had been a while since he clearly took a look at you; in response, his mind clearly blowing over with a thousand questions per minute. This had to be an illusion, tricking him that it wasn’t the you he was searching for this entire time. Maybe he was drunk, but it just couldn’t be something that wasn’t there! Who else could it be other than the one person he’d been pining for, for a month?

It was you, the only person he’d ever loved.

The word baby pricked your ear, and you turned to the side to see Yeonjun with tears in his eyes. They were sparkling from the lights all over the house where you could clearly see them, and you cringed, looking away from him. What a sight you didn’t ever want to see for the rest of your life. It only made things worse, obviously! This urge of wanting to baby him while asking him had to be suppressed or else you wouldn’t know what would happen. You were doing so well. You couldn’t give up now.

“Y/N? Why are you here? I thought you’d be home studying like you always do,” the boy muttered, his eyes focused on your every action as if you’d disappear any second. He was right, you completely wanted to disappear from his sight. Still, you didn’t want to look back at him in fear that your streak would end in a demise.

“Nothing, and it’s none of your business anyway. Please, leave me alone.”

He only shook his head at this- or what you assumed from the peripheral vision of your eyes- and jerked a thumb at the red solo cup you were holding. You decided to gaze at it intently like you had been doing this whole time, bringing it up to your lips when he shouted something right in your ear. It was quite different than what he was murmuring earlier, and you almost dropped the cup from your already shaking hands.

“Y/N, stop drinking! I told you it wasn’t good for you, don’t you remember?”

Yeah, but that was back then.

You shakily sighed, clenching your eyes shut. If you wouldn’t allow yourself to look at him, then let’s not do any of this at all. A headache would soon become of this, if his nagging voice kept annoying you any longer.

“It’s an acquired taste, you idiot. Just leave me alo-”

"Please, listen to me,” he cut in, easily begging in favor of you. Too curious to hear what his request was, you didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know how to start this off but... I know I’ll never love this way again, just like I do to you. Y/N, can’t you see?! I’m dying without you.” He moved closer to you and you looked down at the floor, too shaken up to say anything. His breath was near enough that you could feel it right against your forehead while he looked directly at you with piercing eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, the words of help stuck in your throat as your poor heart hammered in your poor, wrenching chest.

He then held out his arm towards you, one so desperate you felt it through his heart that he wanted to let you hold on. You looked away from that too, not wanting the urge of finally seeing him to enrapture you like always.

“There’s no one else who can ever replace you. It’s me for you and you for me like we’ve always said... can’t you see it too?” His words were too affectionate to get away from now. What was this warm feeling you received upon hearing that? Gulping nervously, the last part of his words resonating in your mind before he drew one, last breath.

“I need you,” he delicately whispered.

There must’ve been glue beneath you, for you were trapped in that claustrophobic spot in the corner. Of all the words he could say, he just had to hit you right in the chest where everything ached... Suddenly, it had become so silent you could hear a pin drop. Your ears had to be tricking you. There was no way Yeonjun could ever say that to you, after all the things he did to you a month ago. He had to remember that, right?! You can’t go back to him no matter what he says! He doesn’t love you. He never did.

“I’m leaving. Have the cup if you want it,” you shoved it into his hands and right off the bat, he dropped it like it was nothing. A deep, permeating frown was on his face and he grabbed your hands with his warm ones, holding it as if it was the only thing he ever wanted to do. His thumb stroked the top of yours, clinging on tightly in desperation as if begging you to spare one more glance at him before this love was somewhat forbidden, somewhat over.

“Y/N, I know I messed up pretty bad, but please. Please, be safe out there. I won’t hold you back anymore. Tell me to take you home, and I’ll do it. I need you, just please,” He held onto your hand, his fingers tightly wound with yours and your eyes widened. Why did he have to sound so genuine?

“Have a good night, Yeonjun,” you glanced at him for the first and last time to see a glistening tear run down his cheek. He was the same. Yeonjun was the same. All the way to his forehead and lips, he was just Yeonjun. His messy, blue hair was still just as charming as your eyes ran through it. His lips were like you left them, and you could do anything just to show him how much you adored them again. His pure eyes were still like the last time you saw them, innocent and sweet like it held no true matter of what the world was like out there.

It broke you just as much as the last time you saw him. He and you were finally meeting each others’ eyes, but not in a way you ever expected. You wanted to be free from him by the time you saw him again, so that he’d realize you were doing well without him even if the case was far from that.

And you wanted to say that it was what he deserved but why in the hell was your heart saying so much differently?!

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

By the time you got out of where Yeonjun currently was, you could feel yourself losing breath even if you hadn’t walked very far. It was true that you walked as best as you could because the legs which carried you across the dance floor simply felt like dancing jelly; all the while you kept cursing yourself internally for even making a dry conversation with him.

The air felt tense now. You felt as if you could no longer relax inside that same house for any longer. Soobin wasn’t anywhere to be found, but you didn’t truly search for him in the first place because this was one night where you wanted to enjoy yourself for a little while.

Maybe some drinking would help it like it had done earlier. You wouldn’t have to worry anymore about Yeonjun if you just changed your mindset due to the drinks! Wobbling, you gripped onto one of the cups that distinctly wasn’t yours and took a few swigs out of it, hoping it would help ease your nerves.

Three cups. His smiling face appeared in the cup, and you winced at the bitter taste. Why were you torturing yourself with this bitterness?

Four cups. Well, looks like you were okay, you guessed.

Some things led to another and here you were. At the dance floor where you were swaying to the music the dj put on whether it was romantic or made to have a blast.

Throwing your hands up to the sky like all the other people were doing, you realized you were having so much fun- for a couple of minutes or even a couple of hours, you weren’t sure- until two, sly hands gripped at your waist. You instantly cowered away with widened eyes, backing away from instinct when they forcibly pulled you back in.

“Hey, sweet cakes,” they slurred quietly, their breath repulsed with beer mixing in with the tacky scent of cologne they chose. You immediately noted that it was a male’s voice, scrunching your nose up at the rudeness he plainly owned. The audacity he had to come up to you like this instead of introducing himself with a tender voice. And a pet name straight off too?! Give you a break.

It made you think about how Yeonjun always treated you nicely, naturally acting like a gentleman whose kindness made your heart swell with love.

“Hey, asshole, could you leave me alone?” Despite the fear rushing through your veins, you made sure to stand firm like everything was okay. Sooner or later, he had to get the hint. And if not... you glanced at your heels, then catching a look at his crotch. But we could say that was only Plan B if nothing else worked out.

He chuckled at what you assumed to be your insolence, a cocky grin crossing his attractive and confident face that only made you want to throw up.

“Aw, don’t be like that! I saw you dancing right across the room and I knew I had to get a piece of that,” he muttered, getting closer to you by each step. You couldn’t help but groan at his terrible advances towards you.

“Well, I don’t care. Leave me alone, please.”

The man sighed, rolling his eyes at your words. You hoped that with that action it meant he was finally leaving you alone, giving you the peace you so hopelessly needed after the whiplash that took place with your ex. But he only got close to you, an uneasy grimace taking place instead of the pretentious, arrogant grin from before. Your stomach bubbled with anxiety this time, not feeling much too comfortable in the moment to dance again.

“Help! Someone, please!” No matter how much you kicked at the bottom area of his body (and missing them completely since your aim terribly sucked when you became drunk), he wouldn’t budge to your surprise. You tried squirming away due to the resistance of being a damsel in distress like every saving person needed to be, but the man would clearly not move with all your efforts!

He puckered lips swiftly while you hurriedly tried to move away with the best of your abilities. You were sure as hell you couldn’t get out of there even if you used all the strength that was left in your body. With the wall pressed up against your back and the looming arms that trapped you in, there was no way you could leave without pleasing him. He was getting way too close for comfort and you closed your eyes shut, no longer feeling the courage to shout at anyone through the blasting music.

“Now, how about you give me a kiss from those pretty-”

“she said leave her alone, you asshole!”

In one, sweeping moment which had you off your feet, you felt someone’s back brush against your front while you squealed with a deadening fright. At the very last bit of being harassed, you never would’ve expected to be saved by the one and only who you thought was never going to come back. Hastily you opened your eyes, only to see Yeonjun whose chest was heaving up and down from how fast he ran just to protect you.

“Leave her alone or else I’ll be forced to do something much worse- something more horrendous than you could ever imagine.”

Seeing how tall Yeonjun was in comparison to him, he muttered something under his breath before moving along to another direction. And just like that, he was gone. Gone to another place where you hoped never to see him again to bother either of you.

You internally thanked the heavens, eyes tearing up from how grateful you were to not have been physically attacked.

Yeonjun speedily turned back to you, his face blooming into a worrisome expression. Lips forming into a pout, he cradled your cheek, checking everything from your face to your arms which were shaking terribly in order to be sure you were unscathed.

Even if you hated him so much at the moment, even if you thought he was a dreadful person for hurting you, even if what he was doing could be because it was the right thing to do and not because he loved you, this was the Yeonjun who you fell in love with in the first place. He was right in front of you again and no matter how much you wanted to back away from him, you couldn’t deny that he was your precious knight in shining armor.

“Yeonjun, thank you- I’m scare...” Your brain wasn’t able to form a comprehensive sentence, words jumbled together to create a nonsensical grumble you were sure he couldn’t understand. He just cooed at you softly, taking you into his warm arms which felt just as cozy as his sweet heart. Your face subconsciously buried upon his chest, nuzzling into it as he gently patted the top of your head.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m right here. There’s no need to worry. I’m right here, and I’ll always be right here.” His hug this time was made for you, and you happily sighed with a newfound relief. Tighter, you clung onto him, hoping he didn’t mind. A part of you knew that he didn’t care because he kept pressing those soft kisses he knew you adored onto the crown of your head.

Your brain was yelling at you that this was wrong, he could be toying with your heart again, but everything felt so right. Your heart wasn’t corresponding to your mind, telling you something the sober you wouldn’t be able to understand.

You were safe at last.

The both of you stayed like that for a few minutes with you sniffling into his embrace before he lightly rubbed your shoulder.

“Come on, baby, let’s go home to make you calm down,” he took your hand into his tenderly, treating it with the utmost respect. After all, it was what you deserved after all of that trauma.

All the way he made sure you were alright strolling beside him, protecting you like the world depended on it. His scent was too addictive and you followed him, holding his hand tightly while a soft smile became of his face.

Before you knew it, his steps led you to his house.

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

“Yeonjun, stop! You know I’m-” you erupted with an intermittent series of laughter, giggling over and over again whenever his fingers accidentally traced against your stomach. He was busy carrying you to wherever he was taking you, whining about how you didn’t deserve less from sleeping on somewhere comfortable.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch,” he giggled along with you, nuzzling his nose against yours. Anybody else who saw this could see that you both were clearly an affectionate mess, touching one another whenever they pleased.

Sooner than later after all that messing around, he laid you down on top of the bed as gently as he could, setting you down as if you were a fragile vase. His fingers lingered at your side before he cleared his throat, instantly pulling away at how quiet the atmosphere had gotten.

It was hard to see his face now; the dimness of the room and not to mention the side effects of being drunk disrupting your normal vision, but you could still see how intent he was on gazing at you. You grew shy at how long the duration of time he chose to stare at you with keen eyes, looking away compared to your strong, resistance persona from before.

Yeonjun found this little bit to be endearing, sketching out your whole, entire face in his head. To your adorable, button nose, to your cheeks which he oh so wanted to pinch, and to your lips that he was too afraid to kiss without permission, everything was simply perfect- a masterpiece that cannot be described in words. If it was up to Yeonjun, he would never look away because he was afraid he’d lose you again.

But this wasn’t right.

If he was there, it would only hurt you like you said earlier. His heart was screaming at him to let you know that he loved you more than anything else he’d ever laid eyes upon, but no, that wouldn’t be right either. He wasn’t sure how you’d react once he told you that. You’d leave him and rightfully so.

Even if he was drunk as hell, he knew you wouldn’t be too comfortable sleeping with him once you sobered up in the morning. Besides, it was his fault- he doesn’t get to treat you like the way he did before since he really has no right to.

Sighing, he turned to go until something grabbed onto his hand. His eyebrows rose up, but he didn’t allow himself to look back or else he’d betray all his morals.

Like he expected, you were the one holding him in place, your fingers sliding against his as they squeezed tightly.

“Yeonjun... stay? Just for tonight?”

«────« ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

A soft, genuine smile spread throughout his face as he turned over on his side, immediately expecting to touch someone that kept him company from last night. It had been a while since things were arranged like this, a month if he remembered correctly in his hazy mind. This was something he’d been desiring for such a long time already... he was going to make the most of it even if it was just a little bit.

Wait a minute... his fingers danced throughout the covers, eyebrows turning into a frustrated furrow and he finally realized what was happening.

But- but you were there with him last night! You weren’t an illusion! Your voice resonated through his head along the lines of asking him to stay, but you just weren’t there.

Panic swept throughout Yeonjun’s body as his eyes searched the whole entire room for any sign of her, looking at the door which was wide upon unlike last night.

“I messed up,” he groaned as he raked his fingers through his messy hair, heart dropping to his stomach as if it had weighed 1,000 pounds. His shaking, cold hand plummeted upon a pillow that was still warm and coated with her warm scent he always adored coming home to whenever he had a rough day.

But you were no longer there. You were gone.

“I lost her.”

---

Posted: 2/15/21- 6:30pm

Tags:

#txt fluff #txt angst #txt requests #txt reactions #txt imagines #txt scenarios #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun angst #yeonjun requests #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun scenarios #txt ff #txt fic #txt fanfic #yeonjun ff #yeonjun fic #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun x reader

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koolkat9 · 3 years

Text

FrUk Week 2021: Day2

@hetaliashipsweek

Prompt: Childhood/Old Age

Paring: FrUk

Word Count: 2012

The Luckiest Man Alive

They had been married for fifty years. It still was hard for Arthur to believe. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful, but at the back of his mind, there had always been that lingering thought that Francis would finally notice all his shortcomings and leave him. At least over the years, that voice had quieted immensely and Arthur learned to allow himself to be happy without worrying that it would be taken away from him.

If someone had told five-year-old Arthur that the annoying little French boy in his class would eventually become his lover, he would have kicked them in the shins. No way he could ever like someone as snobbish as Francis. The boy never failed to insult Arthur’s ‘fashion sense’ or steal his pencils. Then again it probably didn’t help that Arthur had the tendency to pull Francis’ hair and steal his books. By the first grade, things had escalated to the point the two physically and verbally fought on the daily. There were a lot of punches, bruises, and meetings with the principal during those elementary school years, but for some reason, they always kept coming back to each other.

Middle school rolled around and life got complicated. During the final years of elementary school, Arthur’s mother had been diagnosed with a serious illness. What that illness was was never revealed to Arthur even after her death, but that didn’t stop it from tearing the family apart. He had never gotten along with his brothers, but with their mother being in and out of the hospital and pressure being added onto all of them, especially Alister, they began taking out their stress on each other. They fought every day with some confrontations turning physical (on both ends). After a particularly bad fight, Arthur showed up to school with a black eye. At lunch Francis inquired about it, pushing him until he snapped and shoved Francis against the locker, hissing, “My mom’s sick and my brothers hate my guts so shut up or you’re going to be my punching bag.”

For once, Francis was shocked, and instead of shoving Arthur back, his gaze softened as he said, “I’m so sorry to hear that Arthur.” Before he could do anything else, Arthur pulled away and took off down the hall. It wouldn’t be the last argument that ended with secrets being revealed. At least both had enough respect not to bring them up again.

By the time high school rolled around, the few friends Arthur had made over his childhood years had moved away or went to the other high school in town. The only person he knew going in was Francis and once more the two of them gravitated towards each other, but this time it wasn’t for a fight. Arthur was tired. His mother had passed away a month before school had started and the feeling of home left with her. The Brit had become a shell of his former self, often isolating himself in the school library during his free time and throwing himself into his school work. He didn’t socialize unless he had to for class and began avoiding Francis like the plague. It began to worry Francis and around Christmas of their first year, Francis cornered Arthur in the library, ready to get to the bottom of whatever was eating at his enemy. Surprisingly it was easier than he thought as the Brit quickly broke down and through tears began explaining everything. The fact his mom died, that he was sick and tired of arguing with his brothers and has been couch hopping for a couple of weeks because he didn’t want to go home, and every other minor inconvenience that had been building up in his life.

Francis was stunned into silence, but before Arthur could run away like he always did when things got too personal, the French boy pulled him into a tight embrace. And Arthur let him, too tired for any struggle or to push his emotions deep down again. Francis had invited him to stay over that night and Arthur had accepted though he was hesitant. There were no arguments or fighting for once and instead they talked about other things, interests, classes, other normal teen stuff. It was nice and for the first time in the past three years, Arthur felt safe and comfortable.

After that fateful day, fights between them grew few and far between. They still bickered and argued, but it was now a more friendly matter. Francis introduced Arthur to his new friends Antonio and Gilbert and the four would remain friends well into adulthood and even old age. They were annoying just like Francis, but they also cared about him and were there for him when he needed it. But he could really do without the constant jab that Francis and he were like ‘an old married couple.’

College is when Arthur’s feelings of friendship started becoming feelings of romantic love. Francis had found a cheap apartment not far from their school and the two decided to rent it together to save money. They fell into quite a domestic routine. Francis cooked for him since Arthur could never make anything not burnt while Arthur did the dishes. Francis did laundry while Arthur folded and put the clothes away. Arthur would go out to the small garden on their balcony and Francis would join him a few minutes later with water or juice and a little snack for them. Francis had a lot of morning classes so Arthur would wake him up with a cup of coffee or tea. Arthur finally felt at home and he realized he wanted to live with Francis for the rest of his life. He tried to deny it at first, but each time Francis smiled Arthur felt his insides melt and whenever he called his name in the soft moments of the evening, he imagined being called to cuddle with him. He loved Francis, but he was too scared of possibly losing him if his feelings became known. After all, their relationship had already been turbulent, why shake it up even more?

Although they may have been getting along better than they ever had, they were still Francis and Arthur, prideful through and through and unable to go too long without some form of argument. Things were starting to build up on Arthur again with school and his growing feelings and he was starting to become more snappy than normal. They had had a few of their friendly arguments before, but eventually, everything became too much and Arthur went off at Francis when the Frenchman pushed a little too hard. “I thought we told each other everything,” Francis screamed.

“Shut up!��

“No. Not until you get it through your thick skull that pushing things down until they boil over is not healthy. I don’t even know why I bother? You’ve never listen-”

Next thing either of them knew, Arthur had Francis pinned against the wall, silencing him with a heated, angry kiss. As soon as Arthur noticed what he was doing, he pulled away, but not enough to let Francis go. The Frenchman looked at him, cheeks red, hair a mess, and eyes wide. Without a word they leaned in once more, connecting their lips in a slow, sensual kiss.

The following morning, Arthur awoke, wrapped up in Francis’ arms in Francis’ bed, clothes strewn around the room. For a moment, he allowed himself to admire the sleeping man next to him. Even with bedhead, Francis’ hair still looked beautiful and soft. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes closed, bare shoulder slightly exposed. He looked so peaceful and content which made Arthur’s heart flutter.

“Like what you see?” Francis asked, his eyes opening halfway and a soft smile spreading across his face.

“Sh-Shut up.”

“Make me.”

And Arthur did, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss on Francis’ lips. When he retreated back, embarrassment and doubt began setting. What did this mean now? Were they lovers? What if things didn’t end up well? He couldn’t bear to lose this man after everything they had been through. Maybe it was best to just forget what had happened and go back to being friends.

“I-I don’t know if I can do this,” Arthur stuttered out. He pulled the covers up defensively, trying to avoid that kind loving gaze.

Francis was quiet for a moment and when Arthur stole a glance at him, he almost looked disappointed. “You know?” Francis began, his smile quickly returning, “We don’t have to call it anything you don’t want to. You liked what happened last night right?”

“I-I suppose…”

“I did too. Would you want to do more than just that? Like cuddle, kiss, and all that?”

Arthur was silent as he thought it over, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. “If it makes it easier,” Francis continued, “I wouldn’t mind doing that kind of stuff, but if you don’t want to...I won’t push.”

Francis really was perfect. Attentive, loving, respectful when it mattered. What did he see in Arthur who just seemed to be a ball of anger and pent-up feelings? But the knowledge they wouldn’t be making this an official thing (at least not yet), put Arthur at ease and he decided to accept it.

A couple months later, Arthur had worked up the courage to accept Francis’ offer of a date, and of course, being the thoughtful lover the man was, Francis provided him with the ideal date. They had gone to the park for a picnic lunch before heading to the theatre for a show. At night they cuddled up in Francis’ bed and fell asleep. It had been a pretty good day, but Arthur’s competitiveness had been sparked. Next date, he was planning it and he was going to impress Francis.

He got a reservation at the new French restaurant in town. Francis seemed to have enjoyed the food, but he said he could have always made such a meal at home. Arthur only rolled his eyes telling him that he was doing something nice for him so be grateful. Francis had giggled, making Arthur realize just how deep he was. It was exhilarating and a little nerve-wracking. After dinner, they headed out back to a garden area where a wishing well stood. “Do you have a coin?” Francis asked, peering into the well.

“You’re lucky, here.”

Francis pulled the coin to his chest closing his eyes before tossing it into the well with a plop.

“What did you wish for?” Arthur asked, peering down into the well.

Francis brought a finger to his lips with a wink. “I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.”

Arthur’s nostalgia trip was interrupted by a pair of arms snaking around his waist and a firm kiss being pressed into his neck.

“What are you doing mon amour?” Francis asked in a low voice.

“Just...reminiscing.” Arthur lifted his hand, admiring the silver band on his finger. “Who would have thought we’d be here, like this, all those years ago.”

Francis chuckled. “Mhm. At least my wish came true.”

Arthur twisted his head to get a better look at the man behind him“Are you talking about that one you made on our second date?”

“Oui.”

“And what was it?”

“I would marry and spend the rest of my life with you.”

“You big sap.”

“Peut-être, but you love me for it.”

“What gave you that idea?”

“Oh, you wound me,” Francis exclaimed, clutching his chest.

The two lovers erupted into a fit of laughter before going in for a kiss. It was sweet and quick, matching the playful moment. I couldn’t last forever as Arthur noticed the time. “We better go pick up the boys from the airport,” he suggested, “they’ll be landing soon.”

Francis planted one more kiss on his forehead, before taking Arthur’s hand and pulling him out the door. Truly, Arthur was the luckiest man in the world and he had over fifty years' worth of evidence to prove it.

#frukweek2021 #frukweek #hetalia #hws #fruk #ukfr #human au #hws france #hws england #fluff #angst #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction #old age #childhood #nostaligia

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lisinfleur · 3 years

Text

The Perfect Date

The request:

It was more than time for you to move on over that childish passion.

You had been cultivating that hidden love for so long that you couldn't even remember when it was the first time you'd looked at Ivar and thought he was the owner of your heart.

But it was past the time to be over with that and move on with your life.

You were his friend.

Period!

You weren't his kind of girl. You mean... Look at Freydis! She was completely different from you, right? And Margrethe before her...

It is ok that Margrethe got the record of banging four of the five Lothbrok brothers, but Ivar was on her list, and you weren't like her.

At least, you never felt pretty like the two of them.

At least...

At least, Ivar never looked at you with those flickering eyes he had for them here or there in the story of your lives.

So, when Hvitserk told you he'd settled a date for you with someone he was sure was perfect to be with you, you've decided to give him a chance. He also knew you pretty well, and if he was saying someone could conquer your heart, then probably this person could have a chance to really do it.

So, at the date he settled, you got yourself prepared. Your best dress, soft makeup. Gods, you even made your hair in a saloon to feel prettier for that night!

However, the last person you thought you would find in that restaurant was Ivar: sitting at one of the tables, he seemed to be as prepared as you were but waiting for someone who dared to get late for whatever they had settled together.

Oh, great.

Your past and your feelings would be right there while you would be trying to surpass them.

Fuck!

At first, you tried to dodge his presence, sitting on a table that was a little away from his.

But, as the minutes passed, your heart shrunk by seeing he was becoming angrier as the person he was waiting for didn't show up. And your "perfect date" was also getting late...

Did Hvitserk lose his good finger? He knew how much you hated people who weren't punctual!

When you noticed, your date was about ten minutes late! And Ivar's angry grunt reached your ears as your friend seemed to be frustratedly threatening to get out of the restaurant.

You could almost read Ivar's thoughts.

Another failure.

OF COURSE, she wouldn't come! Nobody wants to date the crippled.

And that whole ableist bullshit you knew he would be thinking throughout days, maybe months after that failed date.

Fuck the perfect guy! You got up and walked towards Ivar's table, pretending you had just arrived and taking a seat right beside him - just to avoid taking the place his date would be taking in front of him if she was ever to come anyway.

"Ivar! What a coincidence!" you tried to start as if you didn't see each other there.

But Ivar's surprised blues told you your dodging skills were better than you thought: he didn't really have seen you before.

Or the thing with the dress and makeup had really gone right somehow...

"Whoa... You're pretty, Y/N".

Your cheeks burned hot! Did he have any idea of what was that simple sentence doing to you?

"T... thanks," you answered. "You look great too. Occupied?"

His eyes looked at the empty chair in front of his table, and he sighed.

"I guess I'm not. Want some fries?"

Your favorites!

Ivar knew everything about you. And you, about him.

"And ribs!"

His favorites... Ivar couldn't avoid smiling.

One hour of conversation and the two of you had completely forgotten the late dates that never came.

Two hours and Ivar was betting you would be drunk with half of a quarter he was able to drink!

When the two of you took notice, five hours had passed from the time settled for your dates, and no one had come through those doors searching for you guys.

Nevertheless, that was the best night the two of you shared together. You had gotten rid of your heels under the table, he had left the fancy coat on the back of his chair, and the two of you were now side by side on the table, playing with each other at the cellphones with an interesting application he had found to play hnefatafl against you online.

"That's not fair! You always win!" you complained after losing the tenth match for a proud Ivar smiling beside you.

But his smile had a different tone. A gentle tone.

"Thank you," he mumbled, confusing you.

"For what? For repeatedly losing to you in this complicated game?" you tried.

"For making this shit of a night something good for me to remember," he answered, impressing a serious tone to the conversation you'd started.

"Ivar," you mumbled.

"No, Y/N. This would've been a disaster if you weren't here to make this night perfect!" he completed, looking at you. "I'll never listen to Hvitserk ever again, but I cannot say I regret coming to this date he settled for me. You were here. And it was amazing to be with you tonight."

"Wait..." you said, looking at him. "Hvitserk settled a date for you here?"

"Today, at..." he started.

"...eight." you finished, and your eyes became large. "Oh, my gods..."

"Y/N, what happened?" Ivar asked.

For the first time since you knew him, not being the one able to figure out the whole picture.

"Your date didn't come, did she?" you asked.

"No. The 'girl that would be perfect to me' doesn't exist, and I got Hvitserk's stupid pun."

Oh, no. He got it wrong...

"That's not the actual pun, Ivar," you mumbled, feeling your cheeks burning hot once again.

"What do you mean?" Ivar asked, already annoyed things were happening faster than his mind could understand.

"My date didn't come either," you said, looking at him. "I had a date today, here, at eight... Hvitserk said it would be the perfect guy to conquer my heart..."

"The motherfucker decided to make the same stupid prank with the two of us!"

Oh, how charming... There was a detail you always thought was cute about your brilliant best friend: he would always become dumb when he was too angry to think properly.

"Indeed, he pranked us, Ivar. But..."

Shit!

Why was it always so hard to tell him the truth?

"I'll punch his face for hurting you like this!" Ivar said, disposed to defend you with all his strength, but you held his hand, looking at him in the eyes.

"It is you, Ivar," you said, breaking his focus and causing him to look at you, confused.

It took him a second to figure out what you were talking about. And then another ten seconds for his face to frown in complete disbelief.

"Excuse me, what?" he asked, looking at you. "Are you telling me Hvitserk settled us on a date in the same place and at the same time trying us to..." he stopped.

His brain was finally making the right math this time.

"He was trying for us to date each other," you mumbled.

Already feeling, by his reaction, that he would somehow burst into laughs and say his brother was completely insane.

That you could never be perfect in any way to conquer his heart.

However, his head leaned, and he looked at you with a surprised expression.

"Sometimes I think there is a genius inside my brother's mind that he drowns every day with the amount of different alcoholic shit he drinks," he said.

Causing you to burst into laughing the way you would always laugh at his jokes.

Only you were able to understand his jokes, no matter how deep they were. And you would always think they were funny.

You would always be there for him, by his side, making his worst days better and his better days the best.

How come he'd never noticed this?

You were still laughing when Ivar's fingers touched your chin, catching your eyes.

"Hvitserk was right... You are the perfect woman to conquer my heart."

You froze.

And it was your time to frown and look at him, taken aback.

"Excuse me? What?" you mumbled, causing him to smile.

"Unexpected, but predictable," he mumbled, looking at you with a larger smile. "You know me better than anyone else. You like the same things I do. And you make me happy... You're prettier than any other woman I know... And by the way you're shocked by these conclusions now, I can almost say I finally discovered what's the only secret you've always kept from me..."

Fuck!

Fuck fuck fuck a thousand times!

You'd always told him that: there was only one thing about you he would never discover. And it was that he was the love you had hidden in your heart as deep as you could to keep your secret safe.

"And... What would be this secret, if you're so smart, Mr. Smartass?" you said.

Trying to keep your pose until the moment he approached, sealing his lips on yours all of a sudden, surprising you with the most delicious stolen kiss you had ever tasted in your life.

You melted in his hands, sighing against his mouth.

As his hands landed on your waist, yours embraced his neck and it was almost as if the two of you had been made to embrace each other like that.

The kiss didn't last too long, but it was enough to feel like an era for you. And Ivar smiled against your lips, fully cocky about his next words.

"I'm the one who has your heart," he said, revealing the only secret of yours he'd never laid hands on. "It's mine... You're mine. How could it be different?”

His fingers caressed your face and you noticed he was genuinely happy with that discovery

"I didn't want to lose our friendship," You mumbled, justifying your silence for so long beside him.

"We didn't lose it," he said, "It just evolved to a better level," he completed.

"And it was about time!" Hvitserk's voice sounded from the restaurant's door.

"You motherfucker!" You grunted at him.

"You little asshole!" Ivar growled.

And Hvitserk burst into laughter: his plan was a success and he smiled, throwing the car keys to Ivar who caught them.

"Mother told me to take you home, but I don't want to bother the love doves..." he joked just to receive a pair of fries from you and a cube of ice from Ivar's cup against his head. "Fuck, stop it!" he laughed. "You should be thanking me!"

"We're throwing food on you! Count it as gratitude!" Ivar joked back causing you to laugh out loud.

Hvitserk crossed his arms, smiling at the two of you.

"'Take care of each other," he said.

You would remember to prepare his favorite Damascus pie as a reward for being the perfect friend.

You couldn't be happier with the date he chose for you.

Do you like my work? Support me!

Tagged ones:

|| @bluearchersstuff || @ivarswickedqueen || @akamaiden || @bang-kim-bap || @cris101071 || @elysias-temple || @alicedopey || @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla || @lol-haha-joke || @readsalot73 || @rekdreams247 || @naaladareia || @laketaj24 || @therealcalicali || @grungyblonde || @arses21434 || @honestsycrets || @2thequietone4 || @blackspiritshake || @vikingsbifrost || @wallabieswisher || @cyarikashakira || @chinduda || @isthat-tyra98 || @xinyourdreamsx || @thiahilmarsdottir || @queenbeeta || @winchesterwife27 || @gold-dragon-slayer || @mzliterarydreamer || @youbloodymadgenius || @marvelouuse || @tgrrose || @lif3snotouttogetyou || @lordsexmachine || @deathbyarabbit || @ietss || @thorins-queen-of-erebor || @didiintheblog || @h-e-a-v-y-l-e-a-t-h-e-r || @heavenly1927 || @alexhandersenx || @alexisshoto || @letsloveimagines || @astrape-the-weatherwitch || @destynelseclipsa || @charming-merlin || @violetidk || @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie || @ghvsts || @littlemoonchildbear ||

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#history vikings #imagine vikings #ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar imagine #ivar x reader #ivar ragnarsson #ivar lothbrok #ivar's heathen army #sister wives #HTGI #shot

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micer2012 · 3 years

Text

no cure is coming, you know (LLSMP Fic)

A few months into Last Life, Skizz and Tango are some of the only members to still hold onto their humanity. With Tango the only member on dark green and Skizz on yellow, Skizz is cursed as the Boogeyman at the beginning of their session. He knows that without hesitation, without question Tango will give one of lives to him… and that’s exactly the problem. [3k words] [crossposted on ao3]

just trust in me, my dear… no cure is coming near.

“Skizz! Countdown time!”

Skizz heard Tango’s voice coming from one of the top layers of their castle, their home. He put down the axe he had been using and ran inside the castle, shutting the door behind him.

“Boogey time?” Skizz called. “Boogey time, my brother!” Tango responded, barreling down the stairs to meet Skizz.

And right on cue, as the moon hit the highest point in the sky, the countdown began in their heads. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

Silence filled their home.

“Nothing. You good?” “Yeah! Yeah, ob-viously. What, were you worried?”

Tango laughed. “I- I mean a little. I gotta be worried a little. There’s what.. 5 non-reds left?”

“And MY teammate is the only one who’s still on dark green.” Skizz boasted, hand on his chest.

Tango punched him playfully, snickering. “Don’t get so high and mighty! I went from.. What, 11 lives? Down to a measly 4.” “That’s only because you were such a good sport about it, Tango Tops. You coulda kept those for yourself, y’know. Been the schamaze of all time.”

“Ha!. Suppose it would have been. But- but I bet we’d have FAR more enemies. It would not have been a good idea to be on that many people’s bad sides that early…” “I coulda took em.”

Tango laughed again. “Y’think? Etho and Bdubs? Cleo?” “I coulda took em. If they were trying to hurt my best friend.”

Tango smiled sadly at him, before looking down. “I wouldn’t want you to lose any more of your own lives because of My theoretical jerk move.” Skizz just looked at his friend, before sitting down on the floor, gesturing wildly with his hands. “Well, Theoretically, I wouldn’t lose any lives then! I’d just do a super good job, and kill them down to 0.” Tango let out another laugh. “Says the guy who lost his life to a mob!”

Skizz pointed his finger accusatory at Tango, still criss-cross applesauce on the ground. “Hey, it wasn’t a ’’’mob’’’ it was a BABY ZOMBIE. You KNOW how much I hate those Lil’ annoying kids! Those- Those are more dangerous than most of the people on this server. THEY are the ones with the bloodlust, I’m tellin you.”

Tango laughed again. “Heh, suppose you’re right. At least it wasn’t an enderman, right?” Skizz narrowed his eyes. Yellow, but the sclera were still tinted purple from the… events of the previous season. “Tango Tops, if I had lost my first life to an enderman AGAIN, I think I would have just quit the server.” Tango snickered. “True that! True that. Alright, I’m gonna go back to my scouting.” Skizz pushed himself up from the floor. “Of course! I’ll be.. I think I might go caving.” Tango turned back to meet his eyes. “W… Will you be far from the base?”

Skizz paused, and then shook his head, hands up. “No, no! Just like, tunneling nearby. I won’t.. I’m not leaving our base, I’m not leaving you here with the.. With those Swarms.”

Tango nodded. “Of course, of course just.. Just checking. Are.. Are you sure you want to go out alone? The boogeyman just got chosen and- and you’re… one of the 4 victi-”

“Hey, don’t you talk like that. You’re a much higher target than me, and you Know I can take care of myself, right?” Tango looked to him, then looked away. “I’m just.. On- on second thought, you’re sure you don’t want me to come? We can go mining together, better- better to have eachother’s backs.” “Then the castle will be unprotected.” “I don’t care. Better it get raided than us.” “No, this- this is our Last bastion. We CAN’T let this fall, then.. Then we’d have nothin’, Tops!”

Tango’s eyes were soft when he looked back up at Skizz. “If I lose you, then I’ll have nothing.”

Skizz was taken aback. He froze for a few moments, before walking over and putting his black-stained hands onto Tango’s shoulders. “Hey, d-don’t talk like that. I’m not going anywhere! F-FIRST sign of danger, I’m calling you and running back home. Okay, buddy?” Tango nodded. “Yeah.. Yeah. Okay. Be-be careful.” Skizz patted his shoulders, before walking out to leave the base. “Of course, Tops! Nothing bad’s ever gonna happen to your buddy Skizz.”

❤❤❤

You are the boogeyman. You must by any means necessary kill a green or yellow name by direct action to be cured of the curse. If you fail, next session you will become a red name. All loyalties and friendships are removed when you are the boogeyman.

Skizz looked down at the message sent to him on his communicator, hands shaking so much it was hard to read the screen.

But he didn’t need to read the screen, he had heard the message beamed loud and clear into his own head. He- He had lied and Tango had believed it. Tango would believe anything he said. He knew that- He- He knew the second he told Tango he was the boogeyman, his friend would immediately let him take one of his lives and free Skizz from the curse. He probably wouldn’t even be mad that Skizz had lied to him earlier.

Skizz had dug himself a hole in the wall of one of the mountains near their base, 10 deep and covered up. He paced the 3x2 room he had made now, this tomb, ranting to himself. He needed to get his thoughts out SOME way.

“Ok. So.So I-I’ve gotta get SOMEONE. A green or y.. Oh, this WHOLE time too I thought killing one of the reds would be fine- THAT would be too easy huh?? We’ve got HOARDS and hoards of hostile reds trying to hunt us down every moment, targeting us like mobs- but NOO. Nooo, it’s gotta be one of the people who’ve still got humanity, huh? Cruel. CRUEL trick to play on Skizz.”

Hand on his head, he scrolled through the list of names on the communicator. He and Cleo were on yellow, BigB and Lizzie were on green… Tango was on dark green. He scrolled back down, cutting off Tango’s name. No. No, that was off the table.

“T..Tango Tops has got the best chance of winning right now out of all of us. Even- not just Life wise, but he’s sharp. Tango’s a sharp cookie. Right now, he’s got the best shot of winning.”

He kept looking at his communicator, before shoving it back into his pocket and groaning, hand on his face. “GAAAGHH, WHY DOES IT GOTTA BE A GREEN OR YELLOW?? L--Lizzie and BigB and Cleo, they’re still up this long because they’re Set up. They’ve Got an alliance, they- they’re untouchable to the reds. I surely won’t be able to be touching them!! ‘Specially without Tango’s help!!” He gripped his face, growling again, before punching the cobblestone wall to the side of him. “And-And I CAN’T tell Tango this. I’m not bringing him into some.. Into some yellow and green fistfight. He’s gotta stay safe, he’s the biggest target on the server.” Skizz was breathing heavily, adrenaline that had been building up leaving as his hand stood in place in the small crater he had made in the wall. “He..He’s gotta stay safe. He’s got the biggest chance of surviving out of everyone. I..” Skizz withdrew his fist, balling it up and rubbing it with his other hand. It hurt. “I can’t do that to him. I’m not gonna be the one who hinders my buddy’s chance.”

The adrenaline gone, Skizz just stood in his little 2x3 box, the chill of what he had to do running up his spine. He kept running his hand over his other hand. “I...I can’t do that to him.”

❤❤❤

He had memories of being reckless and running into battle. Of- Of the loyalty to his friends and the stab of betrayal overcoming his senses, along.. Along with the drive to kill. The drive to dig his sword through Impulse’s heart, through Grian’s, through Tango’s, it.. It was the worst feeling he had ever felt in his life, and it had completely enveloped him.

He remembered Ren crying out, asking him what he was doing. He had convinced himself he was doing it for their benefit, right? Skizz had screamed, as he ran towards the castle, he was doing it for the Red Army. For the only people who defended him. For the only people who gave him a chance. And that chance he had immediately squandered, leaving the Red Army with 1 man less the coming week and.. And leading to Skizz having to watch his friends run into a battle that all of them knew they weren’t going to be coming out of. Skizz had known that when he surged the Crastle too. This was a death game, only one person could make it out alive, and they were all resigned that they were not gonna be that lucky winner.

Skizz ran his hand over the scars around his mouth. Vertical slits where his face had torn itself open, enderman hostility Not mixing well with his human anatomy. His arms were stained black too, not that he had noticed, taken how often they had been stained with blood.

A voice that sounded like his own was talking in the back of his head, reminding him that He was the boogeyman, and reminding him of what he needed to do. Like he could forget.

❤❤❤

Tango was holding his hand, and the two of them were bolting. A swarm of reds, what used to be the southlanders, was chasing them, and their base was already compromised. There were only a few minutes left of this session, if- if the two of them could just get to safety-

“HERE! TANGO, FOLLOW ME!” Skizz let go of Tango’s hand and started digging into the wall, into the cobblestone he had used to patch up his Vent Hole from earlier today. Tango followed after him, panting, as they dug their way into the wall and closed the opening behind them.

“Th...D’ya think we’re safe here?” Tango managed between breaths. Skizz was breathing heavily too, holding his chest. It sounded like the man was about to pass out, whole body leaning onto the cave wall. “Skizz.. Woah, Skizz buddy, take some breaths. The sessions almost over I- I think we’re good.”

When Tango went to go put his hand onto Skizz’s shoulders, he jolted back, chest still heaving.

“Th.. The sessions almost over?” The words sounded incredibly pained.

“Y-Yeah. Few minutes til midnight.” “Few minutes til midnight…” Skizz stuck on the words, and then slumped down against the wall, falling into a sitting position. He was still holding his chest.

“I don’t think anyone’s been killed by the boogeyman yet, right? All the deaths have been red.”

Skizz, still slumped over, did not react to this news.

“...This’ll be the first week where the killer fails, if something doesn’t happen in the next minute..”

A pained sob was expelled from Skizz, shaking his entire body.

“S-Woah, Skizz? Are you- did you get hit? I have regen potions, are- what’s wrong?”

Skizz was shaking now, trying to not make noise as the tears ran down his face. He was failing.

“Talk to me man, use your words. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.” Tango was kneeling next to him, also on the floor now.

The tears hurt Skizz as they surged down his face.. A kind of singing burn, like his cheeks were being branded. It had been happening ever since 3rd Life ended, a side effect of the whole enderman thing. It was excruciatingly painful when he was crying big, painful, tears like now, but not as painful as his mind was. Not as painful as knowing what he had to do was.

He could hear the countdown in his own mind. Second by second it ticked by, and the letters filled his brain and his vision with large red text. It was screaming at him. He was screaming back at it, desperately trying to get it to shut up. There were other voices in his mind too, screaming and crying and tugging at him. He can’t do this, He has to do this, Why won’t he get it over with and do it already? He’s learned nothing from last season, keeping this in is just gonna make this more painful for both of them, he deserves all this pain for what he put Tango through.

He was gripping himself with both his arms now, shaking. All of his senses were screaming that he had T-60 seconds left to kill a green or yellow name.

“I.. I-” Skizz managed, voice cracking. “Yes?” “I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”

“Oh!” Tango moved away from his best friend slightly. “Uh, Here, I have a bucket. Let me pour out the water.. Here. Here you go, buddy.”

Skizz was holding the bucket now. His darkstained hands were holding on so tight, it looked like the steel might crack. Not just his hands now, it looked.. It looked like his entire arms were turning black in a veinlike pattern. Tango couldn’t see his face.

Skizz kept hold on the bucket. T-50 seconds left. He had to get on with it.

Skizz slowly moved his hands to the buckles of his chestplate, and started undoing them.

“Wh- What are you doing? Are you hot?”

Skizz pulled the chestplate over his head, and set it aside. “I-I uh Drats I just. Poured out the water. Um, I’ve got.. potio-”

“Tango. Look at me.”

Tango turned back and focused his eyes on his friend. The tears were still running down his face leaving burnmarks on his cheeks, his eyes were still covered, his.. His chestplate was off. The blackness in his veins ran across all the space his skin was visible and.. and he was shaking like an egg about to crack.

T-40. “You- you remember what you said about the boogeyman not killing yet, right?” His voice was shaky, like the words hurt to get out.

Tango’s face was frozen, and then dropped.

“Skizz.. No. NO.”

Skizz’s grip on the bucket got tighter. T-35.

“Skizz I- Skizz, you KNOW if you had just told me I would help you get a kill ri- Ok.Ok, No I’m not mad. There’s no time to get mad, I’m not mad at you, I’m just.. Skizz, you know this isn’t going to break our alliance, right? I’ve told you countless times, I trust you.”

Skizz convulsed like he was trying to hold in another sob, eyes still not meeting Tango’s.

“I’m… I’m not mad. I’ve got 4 lives left, I in no way think less of you. This was inevitable.”

T-25. “Here.” Tango took Skizz’s hands, cold and limp in his grip, and placed his Netherite Sword into his hands. They had only had enough to make a sword for Tango- of course, Skizz had found the Netherite first, but insisted it was used on his buddy.

“Do what needs to be done. I won’t think any less of you.”

Tango spread his arms out now, crouched in front of Skizz.

15.

Do what needs to be done. Skizz..Skizz needs to do what needs to be done, alright. It didn’t make it hurt any less, knowing this was what he had to do. It didn’t make him any less scared.

10.

This was the worst case scenario. Tango had the greatest chance out of all of them of living.

Skizz certainly had no chance. And he didn’t want to drag his only friend, his brother down with him. Like he had dragged the Red Army with his own selfishness.

Tango had the best chance of winning out of all of them.

His hands were shaky as he moved the sword into the correct position, inches from his heart.

Skizz was scared.

“DO IT ALREADY!” Tango yelled, arms thrown out and eyes squeezed shut.

Skizz drove the blade through his chest, piercing his heart.

Piercing his heart.

“Wh-” Tango opened his eyes, and screamed. That scream was the last thing Skizz heard before his vision went black.

“N-NO WHAT- WH NO.NONO” Tango was holding his body. “NO, N- I’VE GOT HEALING ITEMS. I’VE GOT POTIONS, OKAY? ST-STAY IN THERE BUDDY-”

Tango was frantically shifting through his inventory, holding Skizz’s corpse in his other hand.

The second his hands found his way upon an apple, lightning was heard outside the cave.

It pierced through everyone’s hearts, a shot in the air heard serverwide.

When Tango looked back to the body it was gone, the only sign left of his brother being a pile of still items.

“No. N-No. No, I- I was at gr.. No, No h..this. This has to be a dream, th- this has to be a nightmare I- I can’t.. I, I can’t……………” Tango’s voice trailed off into incomprehensible quiet sobbing. He was curled up in a pile around the items, holding close the only remainder of his friend. The only thing that he had left period, since the castle had been taken… But he would have took a thousand structures falling to keep his friend. He… He would have done anything to keep his friend. Both Skizz and him knew that.

❤❤❤

Skizz had respawned in the spruce forest. He was leaning against a tree, still weak on his feet. There was a hole in the middle of his chest, and it hadn’t stopped bleeding.

The reds weren’t gonna hurt him now, he had become one of them. A murderer, just like them.

The curse needed a green or a yellow’s life taken to be broken, and he sure had a spare yellow life.

He wasn’t gonna let his own incompetence, his own selfishness doom the fate of his friend again. Tango had the best chance of winning, and he needed to keep all 4 of those lives.

As-as a red he could help too, right? Pick off any other reds that make claims on his friend. Of.. Of course, he couldn’t speak to his friend anymore. He couldn’t see him. He couldn’t even get his stuff.

It was better this way. Tango had the greatest chance of winning, and he was only going to hinder that chance.

He took his communicator out of his pocket, hands still shaking. They were covered in red now, and the communicator’s screen was splattered with red as well.

Skizzleman was killed by Skizzleman using [YOU BET YOUR LIFE]

LDShadowLady> …

Grian> WHAT

SolidarityGaming> ?????

Skizz looked down at the screen.

Tango hadn’t typed anything.

He put the communicator back into his pocket.

This session was ending now. And the next session might be his last. But he didn’t care, his own life didn’t matter, as long as he used his corpse to lift his brother to the win.

He had learned from season 1, hadn’t he?

24 notes · View notes

trulivin · 4 years

Text

All I Want

A/N: Surprise surprise! I actually finished another request yay! So here you all are my JJ people. I would like to say this is a little deep I’d say. There is mentions of rape which was a little hard to write, and it’s centered around anxiety.

Both of those topics are serious matters of discussion and if anyone is in need of help speak up. It’s best to be heard and get help with whatever situation you find yourself in.

AND y’all I do NOT hate Drew whatsoever. He played a great Rafe. Honestly, love that man as much as Rudy (ok maybe not that much), but just wanted to point that out. It’s just the character so don’t give me shit about hating on Drew for all you Rafe fans out there lmao.

To the nonny who requested, I hope this is what you were looking for! As always please send feedback! Comment, like, etc. I’ll get another request done at some point so keep baring with me please.

JJ x Reader, Outer Banks

Warnings: mentions of rape and anxiety

*Credits go to original owner!*

It was a particularly warm day on the Cut when Y/N, JJ, and Pope were going to make a grocery delivery to the Figure Eight. Kie was off with John B and Sarah doing something probably more fun than delivering groceries, but Y/N had been kind enough to offer Pope some help, dragging her boyfriend along. JJ complained the entire way to Heyward’s.

“I don’t see why we have to help,” he whined as Y/N dragged him along. “It’s a perfect day to go surfing.” “Which we can do afterwards,” she said, tugging him along by his hand. JJ groaned, but ran into Y/N as she stopped. The tan girl turned to face him, placed both hands on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, and looked up at him through her long lashes, a hint of mischief in her eyes.

“If you would stop complaining, we can do more than just surf later,” she drawled, standing on her toes to whisper in his ear. JJ practically melted as he felt her lips brush his ear and trace his skin. He leaned down trying to steal a kiss, but Y/N slipped out of his arms and ran down the dock with a giggle. “Seriously?” JJ called after her, jogging to catch up.

Y/N and JJ had been together for a solid two years. John B never would have thought his best friend would be able to hold down a relationship for that long, but alas, the blond proved him otherwise. Of course the crew had the no-Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule, but did it really apply to Y/N and JJ? They had been friends long before he met John B and the rest of the crew.

Kie knew the moment Y/N’s feelings changed from friendship to romantic, and John B knew he’d never seen JJ so smitten with someone, so the rest was history.

“Hey, what did we say about PDA?” Pope groaned as Y/N and JJ approached the boat. “That it’s perfectly okay as long as we aren’t groping each other?” Y/N offered with a smirk. Pope rolled his eyes and JJ let out a hearty laugh as the two climbed on board.

“As long as it doesn’t stop you from making these deliveries,” Heyward commented.

The four worked as a team, loading all the groceries on board. Finally, they got everything packed in and were off to the other side of the island. Y/N watched the homes roll by and slowly transform into huge mansions. She wrung her hands a bit at the thought of entering Kook territory, but pushed her nervousness aside.

“You’ll be okay,” JJ said, coming up beside his girlfriend. He knew she struggled with a bit of anxiety, and it didn’t help when Kooks would mess with her.

Y/N shot him a small smile as he wrapped an arm around her. She leaned in a bit and listened to his steady breathing, matching her breath with his. A wave of relief washed over her and she felt herself back to normal.

Y/N absolutely hated this about herself. No matter how many times JJ would tell her that’s what made her who she is and how much he loves her because of it, Y/N would still find herself shying away from help. Of course she let JJ help whenever she was in one of her spells, but she had always been reluctant. Her anxiety made her feel weak, and the Kooks could practically smell it on her.

That wasn’t to say she couldn’t throw a punch and handle herself in a fight. She was a Pogue after all. But, Y/N had never been a fan of small spaces and seemed to be nervous over small things such as social interactions. Somehow, some of the Kooks figured out she was never good when she was cornered either.

The Pogues were always careful not to leave her alone when any Kooks were around despite her protests. That just made her feel even weaker when she had personal bodyguards, but they still wouldn’t listen. JJ was the most concerned. She knew he meant well, but he would lose his shit if anyone laid a hand on his girl. Especially now that he had the gun.

Y/N really did appreciate her friends’ efforts to keep her safe, but it still annoyed her a bit. Yet, what could she do? Her friends were the closest thing to a normal family.

Sighing a bit, Y/N and JJ went over to help Pope dock the boat. “So most of this stuff is going to the club house so Y/N can come with me,” Pope said sorting through the bags. JJ gave him a skeptical look, grabbing a few of the resident’s orders.

“I’ll be fine JJ,” Y/N said. Pope shot the pair a glance, deciding it would be best to let the couple work out the situation. “What if we made two trips and you can go with me?” JJ suggested, failing miserably at hiding his concern. Y/N rolled her eyes, “Seriously, I can take care of myself. Besides I haven’t had an anxiety attack in like years so I’m fine.”

“I just think it would be better if you were with me,” JJ shrugged. “Quality couple time.”

“As if you two don’t already spend every waking moment with each other,” Pope muttered under his breath. JJ shot him a glare.

“Pope is right,” Y/N said, starting to get irritated. “It doesn’t make sense to make two trips when there are three of us. The club is kind of far too.” JJ studied her for a moment realizing she was genuinely annoyed with him, so he let up. “Fine,” he muttered, situating the bags on his arms and hopping off the boat. “See you ladies later!” JJ called over his shoulder, his voice returned to its normal goofiness.

Y/N grabbed the rest of the bags and followed Pope off the boat as well. “You know we are just trying to look out for you,” Pope started. Y/N rolled her eyes a bit. “Look I get it, but I’m not weak. I can take care of myself. Pogue-style, baby,” Y/N replied.

Pope laughed a bit and nodded in agreement. “You sure can throw a punch,” he said causing the girl to smile. “And you rival JJ in the craziness a bit.” “I do not!” Y/N laughed, playfully shoving him. The two went on like this bickering back and forth as they made their way past one of the tee boxes.

Unbeknownst to them, two Kooks watched as the Pogues made their way across their golf course. “Hey, hey,” Rafe said, smacking Topper’s chest and pointing to Y/N and Pope. “Shiiit,” Topper said watching the girl and boy. “Yo, when did Y/N get hot?” Topper commented. “Bro she’s always been pretty hot for a Pogue,” Rafe responded as he started walking towards the pair.

“Hey!” he and Topper called. Y/N’s face paled immediately as she heard the sound of the infamous Kooks. Pope sucked in a breath and said, “It’ll be fine.” “Yeah after they caved your face in last time you were here,” Y/N hissed, turning to face the boys coming towards them.

“What’d I say about coming back on our side of the island?” Rafe snarled, reaching Pope. “Oh so you want to go pick up your own groceries then?” Y/N stepped up in front of Pope. She may have anxiety, but she sure as hell wouldn’t let any Kooks walk all over her friends. Topper smirked and stepped forward too.

Y/N did her best not to suck back as two Kooks towered over her, but Rafe caught her flinch a bit, a wicked smile curving up on his lips. “Where’s blondie, Y/N?” he smirked. “Not here to protect you?”

Pope shoved him back away from Y/N who now seemed to be at a loss for words. No she told herself. “Get your nasty Pogue hands off me,” Rafe snapped, lunging at Pope. All the groceries were spilled as Y/N was knocked out of the way. She hit the ground feeling the side of her face scrape on the gravel.

Y/N groaned in pain, but pushed herself off the ground to see Rafe and Topper shoving Pope around. “Get off of him Topper!” she screamed, jumping on his back. The Kook easily shoved her off as he and Rafe kept messing with her friend. His nose was bleeding and he was covered in a can of beer that Topper thought it would be funny to dump on him.

“Stop!” Y/N screamed again. “What, he your boyfriend now?” Topper mocked. “No wonder Sarah dumped you! Jackass,” Y/N snarled, shoving him away from Pope. Rafe stopped punching Pope in the face and stood up. Pope lay on the ground groaning in pain.

Topper’s face went dark. “Don’t you dare,” he hissed. “When did you get a mouth on you?” Rafe smirked again slowly approaching Y/N. “It’s kinda hot.”

Y/N gulped and felt her legs subconsciously back away. She felt the walls begin to close in as the two boys stalked towards her. “Please, don’t,” her voice cracked, giving her fear away. It was like a feeding frenzy for sharks. Y/N turned to run, but Topper caught her before she could get anywhere.

“Get off!” Y/N yelped, as she struggled with her back pressed against his chest. “You’ll pay. You Pogue’s took one of us, so we’ll just take you for an even trade. Seems fair? Right Rafe?” Topper said. “No,” Pope tried getting up but Rafe punched him in the face again before turning back to Y/N.

“That’s right Topper,” Rafe grinned, “I’m sure your boyfriend wouldn’t mind.” Y/N was still flailing as she felt the walls begin to close in every step Rafe took.

“Please! Just let me go!” she felt tears burn in her eyes. “Now now, don’t cry,” Rafe cooed, brushing a stray tear from her face. The wall was right in front of her now, sucking her air out. Y/N began gasping.

“I haven’t got laid in awhile,” Rafe said. Y/N’s stomach dropped to the ground. Even Topper seemed to release his grip a bit. “Wait, bro--” Topper started. “Might I remind you Topper,” Rafe cut in, “Her idiotic boyfriend put a gun to your head, and that long-haired surfer friend of hers stole your girlfriend.”

Y/N let out a choked sob. “Please,” she flailed again, but Topper still didn’t let go. Y/N literally screamed as Rafe grabbed her hips, allowing her to shirt to ride up a bit, his hands grazing over her exposed skin. “Stop!” Pope jumped up, but was shoved off by Rafe. “Dude seriously. This isn’t cool,” Topper cut in, releasing Y/N. Rafe ignored him, pulling Y/N up off the ground and digging his hands into her waist.

“Pretty hot for a Pogue,” he whispered in her ear. Y/N’s eyes were watering as she took shallow breaths. Y/N let out a blood-curdling scream as Rafe placed a chaste kiss on her neck. She fought, scratched, kicked, flailed, trying to get out of his grasp. Her lungs burned and she felt like she was being crushed.

As she tried to let out another scream, Rafe clamped a hand over her mouth and she felt like she was drowning. “Dude!” Y/N faintly heard Topper. “Rafe, c’mon man! Let her go!” Pope yelled, struggling to get up.

In a matter of seconds, though, Rafe was ripped off Y/N. “Get the fuck off!” a familiar voice shouted. But, it wasn’t the voice she was looking for. “Rafe, what the fuck?” a girl’s voice shouted. Sarah. Y/N was sobbing and trying to take in air, but she couldn’t stop trembling.

“Hey hey it’s okay,” someone’s hand was on her back. Kie.

“Bro! Bro!” there was a lot of shouting.

“John B! Get off, you made your point man!”

“Let’s go!”

Y/N saw two blurred shapes running away from them. A familiar figure approached her. “JJ?” she gasped. “No, no, it’s me, John B,” he said. Y/N flinched away and started crying harder. She just wanted JJ.

“No hey hey you’re okay,” Kie’s voice rang out in her ear. Sarah knelt down on her other side and helped her up. Y/N’s lungs were on fire and she still found herself being suffocated by the walls. “Where’s…” Y/N gasped, more sobs coming out. “I--I don’t know, but we should get back to the boat. He may be there waiting,” Sarah said rubbing her arm gently.

Y/N cried harder, collapsing into Kie. John B went to help but the girl shot him a look telling him to stay back.

“All...” gasp. “I want…” gasp. “JJ…”

With the help from Sarah, the girls managed to get Y/N back to the boat with John B and Pope trailing after them. JJ was not back yet.

Y/N collapsed onto the ground in a corner, jumping away from all of her friends who were trying to help. As they tried approaching her slowly, all the girl felt were the walls getting tighter. Sadly, none of the Pogues really knew how to help her besides JJ. They had never seen her in this particular state.

At this point, Y/N was struggling for air as if she were drowning and was on the verge of passing out. “Guys, guys, back up,” Kie said. “We’re making it worse.”

“But how are we supposed to get her to stop?” John B snapped, running a hand through his hair. “Where the hell is JJ?” Sarah said looking around.

The group all tried reassuring Y/N from a safe distance, but nothing seemed to work.

“Yo! You will not believe how well these old guys tipped!” the voice they were all waiting for yelled on the dock.

“They gave me like--whoa what happened? When did you guys get--” JJ stopped in his tracks at the sight of all of his friends circled around his beat-up girlfriend. What the hell? Why’s her pretty face damaged? He started fuming.

JJ immediately shoved past Pope and Kie towards the girl in the corner.

“Hey! Hey! It’s me,” he said, not hesitating as Y/N tried backing away. As if something in her mind clicked, her body went limp as JJ pulled her into his chest, leaning himself back on the wall. Her breaths were still straggled and she was still trembling but she quit fighting.

“Hey, Y/N,” JJ said softly. “H-hey,” she tried taking a breath, but it caught in her throat. “Shhhh,” he held on to her tighter, wrapping his arm around her head and putting her ear to his chest. “Listen to my heart, and breath with me.”

The Pogues watched silently in awe as Y/N began breathing normally.

“Good, keep going,” JJ encouraged kindly. John B had never seen JJ this way, but he really saw how close the two actually were. He pulled Sarah tight to his side.

“You wanna tell the group what we’re gonna do when we go full Kook?” JJ asked, glancing down at Y/N before looking up at their friends. He felt Y/N flinch after he said the word Kook. His gut turned at the thought this was brought on by a Kook.

“Never mind,” he said quickly. “Tell them about that dream you had of us. Off the island.” He knew his friends were studying him closely. They’d never really seen this side of him. He was always coping with his own problems in his own way, but this was how Y/N got to see him. JJ let his guard down with her the most. And while he loved to joke around, get stoned, wasted, and all that, he was still human.

Y/N slowly nodded, her breaths becoming more even. “I--I had this dream,” she started with a shaky voice, “JJ and I were in a uh little house, away from here.”

Sarah clung to John B as tears welled in her eyes as she watched the girl in JJ’s arms. She always saw Y/N as this tough Pogue who wouldn’t take shit from anyone regardless of her own problems. She never knew Y/N struggled like this, and it broke Sarah’s heart.

Kie had a faint idea of what Y/N was really struggling with but she had never seen her friend in this state. The sight of her, curled in JJ’s arms, trying to talk about something that was for certain extremely personal between the couple, made her heart break as well.

“W-we had a little house, and two blond headed boys running circles around us,” Y/N cracked a weak smile as the group let out a light laugh, the tension finally breaking. “And you,” she raised a more steady hand pointing at John B and Sarah, “you two would come over for dinner with your girls and we’d watch Kie and Pope on the news being superstars.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Sarah smiled.

Y/N, at last, took a deep strong breath. Color was already returning to her face as she slowly regained her composure. John B and Pope went to untie the boat and soon enough, they were on their way back to their side of the island.

JJ didn’t release Y/N, but looked to Pope for answers.

“What happened?” he tried holding in his anger for Y/N’s sake.

“We were taking the stuff up to the club and Topper and Rafe came up,” Pope said slowly. JJ felt Y/N tense under his arms and he gave her a reassuring squeeze.

No one dared speak a word as to what happened next.

JJ got the hint, though. “Then?” he pressed.

“R-Rafe,” Y/N started, and he was shocked to hear her talking about it. “No, no, you don’t…” the words died in JJ’s mouth. “He, he tried--”

JJ knew immediately. Y/N felt his body go rigid and didn’t say the words. She didn’t even want to think about it. “I’ll kill him,” JJ hissed.

“John B about did,” Kie said. Sarah seemed to be looking away from them. Y/N knew what she was thinking.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Y/N said softly. Sarah turned to her with a sad look on her face. “But he’s my brother,” she whispered. Y/N shook her head, “He’s not you Sarah. Stop beating yourself up.”

“Y/N…”

“This is how it is for us Pogues. We’re all a little broken somehow. Well maybe except Kie,” Y/N chuckled a bit, leaning back on JJ who was still seething. Sarah gave her a small smile and sat down by John B’s legs. “Anyways,” John B continued, “Kie, Sarah, and I were getting ice cream by the course, and heard Y/N scream so we came and helped.”

JJ stood up completely knocking Y/N over. She shot him a glare rather than going back to hyperventilating. “Pope! Turn around! I’m going to rip his face off,” JJ snarled. “No,” Y/N said, standing up facing him. “Just forget it. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

JJ stared at her in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?” he was trying not to yell at Y/N. However, the girl just stared at him with a raised brow. JJ stared back.

“What is going on?” Sarah asked.

“Shh, they do this all the time,” John B replied.

Soon enough JJ broke his gaze and sat down pulling Y/N back into his arms. Y/N had a triumphant look in her eyes as they continued on. “Oh my god,” Sarah laughed.

“Shut up,” JJ mumbled resting his head on Y/N’s shoulder.

Later that night, in the Chateau, Y/N and JJ were curled together in the small bed of the guest room. “Are you okay?” JJ finally asked after hours. Moments like these were saved for behind closed doors and just the two of them.

Y/N thought for a moment and then nodded. “I am now,” she said in the darkness. His arms gave her a little squeeze. “But, how,” JJ hesitated, “how can you let me hold you like this after what happened?” he asked shyly. Y/N rolled over to look at him in the darkness.

JJ’s eyes were swimming with concern. She pressed her lips to his, savoring his warm breath and body before pulling away. His kisses were always soft and sexy at the same time.

“Because you’re you,” Y/N answered, resting her forehead on his. “I’m still a guy,” JJ muttered. Y/N let out a laugh. “You don’t get it. You’re the only one I want. You’re the guy who knows me the best. You know how to deal with my problems. You’ve known me since we were literally babies. Sure, we’ve known John B for a long time, but he doesn’t know me like you,” Y/N said.

“But--” JJ started but was cut off.

“JJ, you’re the one I’m in love with and have been since as long as I can remember. I trust you with my life. Yeah, you baby me sometimes, but I’ve accepted that’s how it comes being with you.”

“I love you too,” he whispered.

It was JJ’s turn to place a kiss on her lips. She sighed, content at how soft his were. Their lips molded together like two puzzle pieces as he pressed his body closer to hers. She let her mouth open as he ran his tongue over her lips resulting in a low moan. His hands tugged her waist and pulled her on top of him just as they did plenty of times before.

This time, though, it wasn’t like they were going to have sex. It was more of a tender kiss. A declaration of their love for one another as cheesy as it sounds.

Eventually, they both turned up for air, and Y/N fell back next to JJ. He wrapped his arm around her again as she rested her head on his chest. “We’ll get out of here one day,” JJ said with a promise in his voice. “I won’t doubt that,” she smiled. “But I’ll kill Rafe first,” he said. Y/N laughed a bit again.

“No you won’t. Then you’ll go to prison, and I don’t want you to go to prison. Besides, Rafe is always tweaked. Everyone knows that,” Y/N snorted. “Well I’m always smoking weed,” JJ offered.

“Aren’t all the Pogues though? There’s a difference between weed and cocaine too.”

JJ groaned causing Y/N to let out another laugh. “You’re always so optimistic.”

“Yes yes I know,” Y/N giggled. “But I know you love it cause otherwise you would’ve dumped me a long time ago.” “I would never dump you. You’re too good for this place, Y/N” JJ mumbled squeezing her again.

Slowly but surely, the couple then fell asleep, content and safe from everything the cruel world would throw at them, in each other’s arms.

_______________________________________________

Not really sure I like the ending but it is what it is I suppose. It’s more about the story in the middle. Plus I really don’t think I’m good at writing endings so yea. Enjoy m’dears!

xoxo

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markberries · 3 years

Text

j u s t f r i e n d s┊cedric diggory

anons requested:

HIII :) i havent seen that much cedric fluff/smut lol cedric is literally my comfort character 🤠 if ur requests are open could you write a fluff/smut? i literally dont mind what kind i just WANT MORE CEDRIC FANFICTION CAUSE THERE IS BARELY ANYYY :((

HellO! I love ur work can I request you make like a Cedric x F reader hufflepuff, friends to lovers, fluff and smut. I know it's vv vague but go off. I just want cedric content i love him sm :,)

info: cedric diggory was your best friend, nothing more, but when he tells you about an upcoming date, you start to question that.

genre: fluff, some angst, SMUT, fem reader, hufflepuff reader, friends to lovers

warnings: so much smut, oral (receiving), cursing

word count: 5.7k+

a/n: HIIIII i was able to complete 2 reqs in 1! this was long overdue but i hope you like it,, also i edited the first half and just gave up on the second half GHFHJFSG

cedric diggory was your best friend.

he smelt of vanilla, his voice warm, flowing smoothly like honey. his presence gave you a sense of comfort, almost as if he was home. his eyes were a slight grey, full of wonder, color like a foggy autumn night, or the clouds that filled the sky on the day you two had met. his brown hair, always effortlessly styled, never failing to make girls swoon when he ran his fingers through it. and his smile — god, his smile.

adored by most and kind to all, you truly believed that cedric diggory deserved the world. it was impossible for any girl to get a glimpse of him and not feel their heart flutter.

the good-natured overachiever was your best friend because you hadn’t developed any romantic feelings for him, despite his good looks and unforgettable, lovable attitude. you knew that you wouldn’t have been friends with him in the first place if you felt the same way as the hundreds of other girls who yearned for cedric diggory, so the day he told you that he had a date, you were unsure of why there was a slight pang of pain that struck your heart.

“finally,” you sighed in relief, a playful tone hidden in your voice as you wiped fake sweat off of your forehead. the sound of your heartbeat felt like it was louder than the crackling of the hufflepuff common room’s fireplace, and you weren’t sure if it was in your head or not.

the both of you sat on the snug fabric couch that was placed right in front of the small flames, the cushions soft. cedric shoved you playfully, making you jokingly hold your arm in pain. cedric muttered a “shut up,” a smile on his face as he looked down in his lap. you stuck your tongue out at him, scrunching up your nose.

the fidgeting of your fingers went unnoticed as you smiled at him, a sense of dread washing over you as you began to think about how his date might go. you remained unassertive of why these negative emotions swallowed you whole, reassuring yourself that it was probably just because you were afraid of losing your best friend.

“seriously though, i’m really happy for you,” you say, patting his shoulder lightly. somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew were lying, you knew that you wanted to say “please, don’t go on that date,” but you ignored it.

“i just don’t know what to do! or wear, or say,” he complained, waving his arms around, before falling back and relaxing on the couch. “do you think i’ll mess this up?”

no cedric, you’re perfect.

“yeah, you’re an idiot,” you lie, making cedric kick your leg. “you know i’m only joking, if you want, i’ll help you choose an outfit.”

cedric shot up, his hands on either side of his body as he looked at you with joy filled eyes.

“really? you’ll help me?”

you laugh, “that’s what friends are for, idiot.”

you hated every bit of how your conversation was going. you felt like the more you two discussed about his upcoming date with cho chang, the longer that stinging pain stuck to you. you didn’t know what you wanted to do, you didn’t know if you wanted to cry, scream, yell, it was all left a mystery to you as cedric’s excited voice talked about how amazing cho was.

“she’s smart — and i mean, smart smart; and beautiful, wow, she really is beautiful. i’ve never met someone like her.”

you continued to smile and nod, enduring the ache that stayed with you the entire time. before, you were confident that you would never gain feelings for cedric, but now, you weren’t so reliant of your previous beliefs as the lurking torment hit you.

“well, can you blame her? she’s a ravenclaw,” you gave him a nonchalant reply, crossing your legs as you played with your wand.

“but she’s different, you know?” he went on and on, while you had an internal battle with yourself. you thought you were different. you hoped that you were different. but, you guessed, not to cedric.

“i’m getting tired,” you yawned, trying to get yourself out of this situation. you weren’t really tired, you just didn’t want to hear anymore of cedric talking about how cho was his dream girl. you wished that he would talk about you like he did her.

“really? it’s only eight o’clock,” he raised an eyebrow at you, smirking. you nodded, stretching your arms and standing up. you stood in your penguin pajama pants and an oversized tee, waving to him.

“i’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? and i’ll help you with your date,” you say, regretting the statement you made about how you would assist him in preparing for his date.

“wait!” he quickly stood up, walking towards you and wrapping his arms around you for a hug. you froze for a moment, before melting into his touch. “thank you, y/n, for being such an amazing best friend.”

he placed his chin on the top of your head, while you buried your face into his shoulder.

“of course.”

while you headed up to bed, your loud thoughts echoed throughout your mind. you were rubbing your eyes, stifling your soft cries so you wouldn’t wake up your roommate. you crawled into your bed, wrapping the blanket around you, silent cries escaping your lips.

it was like a cliche love story, the girl finally realizes she has been in love with her best friend this entire time, only to be met with unintentional rejection. it hurt, of course it hurt. you were beginning to register that you wanted be cedric’s, you wanted him to be yours, but it was impossible. he had eyes on another.

—

the next day was even more dreadful than the previous, you woke up in a bad mood, lazily putting on your uniform and making your way to breakfast. cedric was quick to catch you on the way there, attempting to scare you from behind.

“boo!”

you turned and slapped cedric, who now, regretted his horrible effort to spook you.

“don’t do that!” you whisper-shouted at him, and he raised his hands, surrendering. “sorry, sorry. forgot about last year.”

last year, you repeatedly told cedric about how much you hated being jump scared. it was no surprise that the idiot had forgotten. you giggled, cedric infamous laugh following your own. he began to walk side by side with you, continuing your conversation from yesterday.

“so.... you’re still going to help me, right?”

you wished you could say no, you wanted so badly to say no, but you knew you couldn’t. his happiness counted too, not just your own.

“with your fashion sense? do you think i have a choice?” you teased, squinting your eyes at him. you two entered the dining hall, every student was talking to another, some girls watching you and cedric walk by. you spotted cho across the room, cedric also seeing her. he waved at her, a smile on his face as she waved back.

you sighed internally, sitting down at the dining table. cedric sat down as well, but still kept his eyes on cho.

“what the hell are you doing?” you asked, grabbing an apple on the table.

“me? nothing,” he replied back, resting his head on his hand as he stared at her in awe, you were tempted to slap him again, but you held back that said urge. your fingers traced the creases in the wood as your best friend eyed his crush, and you wanted nothing more than to leave the room.

“hey y/n are-”

“yes, i get it. cho is beautiful. she’s smart. i heard you the first thousand times.”

you turned to glare at cedric, who was looking at you, concerned. “no, i was going to ask if you were okay.”

your cheeks turned a light pink as you felt butterflies erupting in your stomach. you smiled at him, “sorry. just a little tired, i didn’t get much sleep. i’m alright.”

it was a half-lie, but you couldn’t risk telling cedric the truth. you were so sure that it would be the end of your amazing friendship, he would never look at you the same, and you weren’t sure if you could get over your feelings. you were stuck, in this in-between state of mind, one side of you begging to let your confession out, while the other just stayed quiet.

so yes, you caved into yourself and lied, but your only problem was that cedric knew that you were lying. there was no way of hiding it from your best friend, even if you thought you were concealing it well.

“hey cedric.”

the voice of the seemingly irritating asian ravenclaw snapped you out of your thoughts, and you immediately pivoted your head to look at her. cedric was already standing, looking at cho.

“hey y/n,” she smiled at you, and you replied back with a small awkward wave of your hand, a fake smile on your face before you turned back around to roll your eyes. your face scrunched up, biting into your apple as the two lovebirds talked behind you.

every word that came out of her mouth, every compliment he gave her, every giggle you heard, it made you want to turn around and walk out. jealousy was an ugly emotion, and you never thought that you’d actually get a chance to experience it, but here you were, annoyed out of your mind.

you waited for what felt like hours, for their talking to be over (it was really only a few minutes), time felt especially slow when they began to flirt about their upcoming date tonight.

“so, i’ll see you after classes then?” cedric asked her, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“of course.”

cedric watched her walk away, gazing at her with those ever so beautiful eyes of his, taking a deep breath before sitting back down.

by the time cedric sat down, you were already getting up from the table, with a loss of apetite. cedric glanced at the single bite you took out of your apple, then glancing back up at you.

“hey, how do you expect to grow if you don’t eat?” he joked, earning a pissed off face from you, who only said, “i’m not hungry.”

you walked off without him, muttering to yourself meaningless thoughts. although cedric was worried about your sudden shift of attitude and demeanor, he decided to leave you some time to yourself.

you were already halfway to class, wondering what the hell you had done in your past life to receive this emotional torture. you groaned, looking down at your shoes.

“you alright there, y/n?” a familiar voice called out to you, running up to you. it was ron weasley, an idiot, but a good friend of yours. you turned your head to him, saying, “no, i’m not.”

“spit it out, then,” ron says, lightly bumping shoulders with you. you let out an exhale, grasping at your wand in your right hand, your tote bag slung over your left shoulder. “are you going to take all day? i want to at least make it to potions before snape sends me to detention again.”

“fine, fine,” you whine to him, “you know cedric?”

“no — is that a food? are you mad? everyone knows cedric,” he exclaims. “there’s no one in this bloody school who doesn’t know who he is.”

you sneer, pinching his arm while he cries out a small “ow”.

“so,” you start, avoiding eye contact so you wouldn’t have to see ron’s reaction. “him and cho have a date tonight. i know, not a big deal, but you see, i kind of started to fancy him.”

“i knew it.”

“be quiet.”

ron lets out a snicker at your quick reply, but he shuts himself up as you snap your head at him to give him a death glare.

“are you planning on telling diggory at all?” he questions, and you immediately shake your head, your eyes wide, imagining everything that could go wrong.

“what would he think of me? it would make the situation much worse,” you explain to him, and he nods, trying to understand how you were currently feeling.

approaching his potions class, ron gives your arm a little squeeze.

“well you know, someone must find you attractive, even someone as ugly as y-” his voice is cut off by you kicking him in the shin, and he yelps out, while you giggle.

“get to class.”

your face drops when you hear cho’s and cedric’s voices echoing behind you, and you feel a part of your heart clench. it doesn’t take you long to walk as fast as you can so they don’t spot you, your shoes clicking against the concrete floor.

—

“how’s this?”

cedric stood in front of you with a white dress shirt, black dress pants, with a black leather belt wrapped around the waist. his shiny black shoes tapping against the floor anxiously, the sleeves of his shirt neatly rolled up. he put a slight amount of gel in his hair, he looked amazing.

if anything, the more you stared at him, the more you regretted offering to help him get dressed for his outing. your stomach did twists and turns as his eyes bored into your own, searching for approval.

he had a nervous smile on his face, the kind of smile you wished you had caused. you wanted nothing more than to be happy for him, for he had finally found a girl he actually liked. the only thing that had you upset, was that you weren’t that girl.

“you look,” you pause for a moment, taking him in. you gained a whiff of his natural scent, before exhaling slowly.

“stupid.”

his eyes widen in horror, rushing to go find new clothes. you erupt in chuckles, grabbing his arm.

“i’m just kidding, you look great, now go!” you exclaim, but cedric freezes, sitting down on his bed. he looks like he’s in thought, but his exact mindset wasn’t clear to you.

you sit down next to him, the bed cushion sinking. placing a hand on his shoulder, you ask him, “are you alright?”

“i don’t know, i’ve just never really felt like this for someone, i feel like i’ll mess it up,” his head turns to you, with a neutral facial expression. “what if i do something wrong? do you think she’ll stop liking me?”

“listen to me diggory, every girl i know has a tiny crush on you, i’m sure cho is crazy about you, and i doubt that there’s anything you can possibly do to mess tonight up,” you beam, patting his back. “unless you kill her.”

“i just don’t want to miss my chance with someone like her.”

there’s something that hits you when cedric says that — maybe it’s the fact that cedric would never see you in a romantic way is finally setting in, or the thought of never being able to compare to a girl like cho, or maybe you’re finally understanding you have been in love with cedric for longer than you thought, or maybe it was all of those reasons. something makes you want to crash into a fit of sobs, or maybe a chorus of silent cries.

for cedric’s happiness, you decide it was better to hide you’re sadness, that was slowly eating you up bit by bit, or at least, attempt to hide it.

“trust me, i’m sure she’ll love every bit of tonight. and if she doesn’t, well, i can surely take her head on.”

and here came his beautiful, mesmerizing, bright grin. he enveloped you into a hug, smiling to himself. “you really are my best friend.”

“yeah, i am, aren’t i?”

he lets go, standing up from his previous spot on the bed, dusting off his shirt.

“time to go, diggory,” you say to him, pushing him out the room, the door making a slight creak as you open it.

“thank you, y/n,” he grins, and you shut the door, but not before pressuring him to leave faster. your back is pressed against the cool wooden material as you slide down it slowly, burying your face in your hands as you are being swallowed whole by the everlasting feeling of unwanted rejection.

although cedric had no clue that he had technically rejected you, there was still a fresh feeling of heartbreak within you.

you felt vulnerable, like you were out of control, and that you couldn’t change anything.

there were so many thoughts running through your mind, you barely realized that you had got up and reached for the door handle, twisting it open, and pacing down the hall to where cedric was walking.

before realizing what you were doing, you grabbed cedric by the wrist, making him turn to you. you cut him off in the middle of saying your name, pressing your soft lips against his own.

you screwed your eyes shut, unaware of your own actions, while cedric stood there, eyes wide open in shock. he was frozen, unbeknownst of what to do.

when you slowly backed away from him, you swear you just wanted someone to put you out of your misery, right there. cedric was sputtering words, trying to form a proper sentence, while you were on the verge of tears.

“o-oh my god, i didn’t- shit, i’m so sorry cedric,” you were shaking, bringing your hands to cover your mouth, “just go on your date. this was a mistake- i uh, i’ve got to go.”

you took off fast walking to your dorm, trying your best to forget about the moment that happened seconds before. the adrenaline that was previously pumping through your veins was slowly beginning to wear off as you slammed your dorm room’s door shut, you let out a quiet wail. you quickly got yourself under the covers, gripping at the cotton sheets.

that night, you barely got any sleep, as the only thing keeping you awake was the thought of tomorrow.

—

there’s a soft knock on your door the following day, and you immediately huff in frustration, burying your head further into your pillow.

“go away!” you shout, your voice muffled by the fabric. ron calls your name from behind the wooden walls, ushering you to let him in.

“you can’t just stay in there forever!”

“yes i can, watch me,” you say back, hearing the door opening, followed by ron’s footsteps. he pokes you, repeatedly, purposely trying to irritate you.

“the professors are going to kill you if you don’t show up to your classes,” he scolded. you turn to look at him, the left side of your face still in the pillow. grabbing another pillow beside you, you toss it at his face.

“i don’t care,” you huff, finally turning over to lay on your back. “leave me alone, weasley.”

“i brought you something to eat, you can’t starve yourself,” he muttered, placing a plate of food on your nightstand. the sun shined bright into your window, birds chirping from the school grounds.

ron sighed, “could you at least tell me what happened?”

you gulp, frowning.

“i kissed cedric.”

“could you repeat that one more time?”

“i... kissed... cedric. right before he left for his date.”

“huh!?” ron squeaked, standing up. “what happened to the whole ‘i’m not telling him’ thing?”

“i know!” you snivelled, the feeling of guilt overwhelming you. “i really don’t know what i was thinking.. i just can’t face him right now.”

as if he was right on time, you hear cedric call your name from behind your dorm room door. he’s about to turn the knob, but you jump out of bed to prevent him from opening it.

“please let me in,” he says softly, his forehead pressed against the wood. “we really need to talk.”

“there’s nothing i want to talk about, diggory,” you say back, and ron laughs at your current struggle.

“ron, i swear to god-“

“weasley is in there with you? please, let me in!” cedric tries his best to convince ron to get you out of the way, but you’re prepared to throw the plate of food that ron had gotten you, and ron was not risking that.

“y/n-“

“i don’t want to talk, okay? please leave.”

the room goes quiet for a moment, no talking, no giggles from ron, it’s simply just silent. you hear cedric audibly sigh, before walking away.

you can imagine cedric’s distressed face as his frustration is always visible, and you really wanted nothing more than to go out and hug him, but you couldn’t. not after last night.

“you really do need to talk to him, though,” ron comments as you breathe heavily.

“i-i know, just not yet.”

—

hours after waking up from your hell-induced “sleep”, you finally got the energy to go to your last period, as you had told your professors from earlier classes that you were in terrible condition (you told them you had gotten food poisoning), and they were surprisingly, understanding.

you were battling with the ideas of speaking to diggory or never facing him again, and to be honest, you were liking the latter option a lot more than the first.

each time you spotted him through the day, there was something that felt like a small pinch within you, followed by a longing to talk to him again. you would quickly avert your eyes, or rush to make sure you weren’t in his line of sight, either way, you felt empty.

the worse was when you had just got out of class, only to walk a few steps down the hall, to see him talking to cho, taking her hands into his own, a soft expression on his face as he spoke to her. it’s almost like you could hear an audible shatter come from your heart. you shut your eyes, turning back to the way you came, your head hanging low.

you were so exhausted, physically and emotionally. dodging cedric at all costs, studying for upcoming tests, and losing hope in regaining your friendship with him.

you walked to the gryffindor common room to rant to ron, as he seemed like the only person you could talk to right now.

“i see you actually got out of bed,” he comments, leaning back on the red sofa. you placed your bag on the coffee table, plopping down next to him.

“surprising, right?” you say sarcastically. “but i didn’t come here to be criticized by you.”

you cross your arms over your chest, placing yourself deep in thought as you tried to calm yourself down. you rubbed your temples, trying to think of some sort of solution to end your torture.

“talked to diggory yet?” he asks, writing something down in his notebook. your posture becomes rigid, a pinched expression on your face as you shake your head “no”.

“y/n.. you have to at least to explain to him about what happened last night.”

your fingers begin to fidget, and you stare down at them. “i don’t even know what i was thinking, to be honest. so what am i supposed to tell him?”

“well,” ron trails, “you can start by saying that you like-”

ron doesn’t get to finish his sentence, as someone shouts his name from beyond the gryffindor common room. you immediately recognize the voice, scrambling to hide behind the couch as to not be seen.

seconds later, cedric comes in, a bothered look im his eyes as he approaches the red haired boy.

“hey ron, have you talked to y/n at all?” he asks him, his hair disheveled as you take a peek from behind the couch. he still looked amazing to you.

“yeah i have,” ron replies, nodding, but it’s tight — as if he’s holding something he wants to say back, and cedric is quick to notice it. he’s always been able to see those tiny details hidden behind a person’s actions.

“uh, okay.. and do you know where she is?”

ron looks to the couch, then back at cedric, “yeah, she’s behind the couch hiding from you.”

you freeze, your eyes going wide. you slowly stand up, awkwardly scratching the back of you neck, followed by nervous laughter.

“h-hey! i was just leaving,” you’re at a loss for words, eyeing both cedric and ron. you let out another uncomfortable “haha”, before darting towards the door. cedric is yelling your name, following close behind. you’re able to make it towards your doom room, where luckily, your roommate was too busy having a sleepover with another hufflepuff to be there.

“y/n!” cedric catches the door before you’re able to close it, forcing himself inside. you swiftly turn around to face him, staring intently. your hands were clenched into fists, your legs barely being able to keep you up as you felt something weaken in your knees.

“we need to talk,” he says, sternly. your face is a bright red, almost at a loss for words.

“what’s there to say?” you retort, crossing your arms, then sitting on your bed. you try your best to avert your gaze from his, staring at anything but his face.

“please, y/n,” cedric pleads, taking a step closer to you. “what happened last night?”

“it’s really not important, cedric,” your breath hitches, as he was standing directly in front of you. you gathered the courage to look into his eyes, regretting it almost immediately, for they were filled with sorrow, glimmering within the cold moonlight.

the light of the bedroom remained off, you were sure that if you saw cedric’s face properly, you would lose the ability to speak.

“you can’t keep running away,” he tells you, placing a hand on your shoulder and bending down so he was at eye level with you.

you shrug his hand off, crossing your arms, “who said i was running?”

“y/n,” he starts with a small chuckle, “you just sprinted away from me a minute ago.”

“but the reason i chased after you was because we need to speak about the kiss.”

your body becomes stiff, you wanted to curl into a ball on the spot, biting your lip.

“we can’t.”

he sits next to you, taking your hands into his. “but why not? there isn’t any reason for us to not speak-“

“because,” you say in a small voice, “you like cho. she likes you. i don’t want to be the one to ruin that. it’s selfish, i know, but you deserve her.”

cedric stands, running a hand through his hair. “but that’s the thing, y/n! i don’t know anymore. i don’t know who i like — if i even really like cho after last night, it’s just so... confusing.”

“how the hell is it confusing?” you question him.

“don’t you understand? everything is just so, mixed up. after you kissed me, during my entire night, i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

you feel the tip of your ears grow warm as the pace of your heartbeat grew.

“cedric—”

“please listen to me. think about how i feel right now. i liked you for at least six months, but you always told me the reason we were friends was because of the lack of romanticism between us, so i moved on, i mean, i tried to. but then, that kiss. it just changed so much, and i didn’t know what to tell cho—“

“weren’t you talking to her today? i saw you two together,” he continues pacing the wooden floors, stressed.

“i needed to tell her that things were complicated and about how i didn’t think she was right for me,” he tells you, and you stand up to poke him playfully in the chest, as if nothing was going on.

“you,” poke.

“did,” poke.

“what!?” poke.

“i, uh, um..” he doesn’t know what to say, frantically searching for the right words, but then throwing his hands up in defeat.

“it would be better if i just did this,” within seconds, he’s cupping your face, pressing his plump lips onto yours. they tasted of his fruity chapstick, and you liked the way he moved.

finally, you registered that diggory was actually kissing you. he was the one that initiated it, he was the one running his hands down your body as your hands gripped at his brown locks.

he bites your lip, and you let out a small mewl. he slips his tongue in, dominating against your own, all while removing his robe. he backs up, keeping your lips locked while shutting the door.

you remove your own robe, palming the bulge in his pants. he groans into your mouth, the wetness building in your heat.

he’s quick to switch the roles, your back on the door instead of his. he breaks from the kiss, panting. your foreheads rest against each others, staring into each others’ eyes.

“i need you to tell me,” he says in between breaths, his skin glowing in the moonlight. “do you want this?”

you nod desperately, “yes.”

“good, because i do too.”

he grabs you by the waist, picking you up to toss you on the bed. he’s standing over you, looking down at you with a smug smirk on his face, before peeling off his top.

“enjoying the view?” he raises a brow, and you can’t help but let out a laugh.

“mhm, i guess i’m next,” you reply, sitting up to unbutton your shirt. you make sure to begin slowly, cedric watching your fingers intently. you part your lips, removing the sticky clothing, leaving you in your undergarments and your skirt.

you bite your lip, looking up at him. he brings his lips to your ear, dragging his finger down your cleavage. “i need you to do something for me, baby. i need you to take off everything so i can make you feel good, is that okay?”

your stomach begins to do somersaults, and you comply to cedric with no hesitations, dragging the black fabric of your skirt down and tossing it somewhere in the room. next, you unclip your black bra and take off your panties, throwing them in the general direction of your skirt.

he admires you, who’s now laying down on the bed. you grow a little shy, but remind yourself that this is cedric, this is your best friend. he lowers himself to face your pussy, dragging his finger through your folds.

“let me take care of you, baby.”

with that, he trails a stripe through your heat with his tongue, a quiet moan escaping your lips.

“you’re so cute, writhing from just a bit of contact,” he grins, his hot breath fanning against you. “now what if i did this—“

he places his lips against your clit, sucking gently.

“cedric— ah,” you say, and he moans against you. he sucks harder this time, bringing his hand to your entrance, he sticks a finger inside at the same time.

“oh god,” you sigh, arching your back. you bring a hand to cedric’s hair, the other hand gripping at the sheets under you. his teeth grazes your bundle of nerves, making you shiver. the feeling of his mouth against you was addicting, his finger moving in and out of you at a fast pace combining with that lead to a familiar building up of pleasure within you.

“cedric, p-please,” you mewl, his free hand holding one of your thighs. you began to feel warm, crying out the boy’s name over and over again.

“come, baby.”

your body went stiff, your orgasm washing over you as you began to relax. your breathing was heavy as cedric stood up, looking at you. you smiled, shutting your eyes.

“can you do it one more time?” you hear him ask, and you swallow, nodding your head.

“yes i can.”

he began reaching for the emergency condom hidden in his back pocket, undoing his belt, the sound of the metal buckle hitting the floor as he kicked his pants and boxers off. he ripped the foil open with his teeth, rolling it on the tip. you opened your eyes, watching as he crawled on top of you.

he smiles, kissing your forehead with a loving look in his eyes. “ready?”

you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning up to kiss him. “whenever you are.”

finally, he begins to enter you, slowly, making sure it isn’t painful. you moan loudly, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. you didn’t care about how sensitive you were from your previous orgasm, all you could think about was how good you felt. his dick reached deep inside of you, expanding your pulsing walls.

he took this as a cue to movs, creating a steady pace as he let out a breathy groan every time he thrusted.

“fuck, you feel so good,” he praised, thrusting deeper. he would pull all the way out, before slamming back in. his hands were on either side of your head.

you were overwhelmed with pleasure, moaning his name and gasping when he would go deeper than expected. he whispered filth into your ear, talking quietly about how much he enjoyed fucking you, or how beautiful you looked under him.

your sinful cries bounced off the walls, sweat dripping down your bodies. you began preparing for his orgasm, as well as your own as he sped up. you clenched around his dick, making him groan louder. you threw your head back, your hips moving to meet his thrusts.

“holy shit, oh fuck, i’m gonna come,” he growled, kissing you hungrily. you moaned his name into the kiss, digging your fingernails into his back. he buried his head into the crook of your neck, shouting curses as the two of you lost yourselves in an erruption of bliss, only thinking about each other. your cries of his name was a symphony to his ears as he thrusted one last time, moaning loudly.

it ended in heavy breathing and gasps for air as he turned over to lay beside you. cedric removes the condom, tossing it onto the ground. he looks over to you, who was already looking at him.

“does this mean you like me?” you ask, and he lets out his amazing laugh.

“yes, i like you.”

you smile, “also i had no idea you could do that.”

“neither did i.”

#cedric diggory #cedric diggory fluff #cedric diggory angst #cedric diggory smut #cedric #cedric fluff #cedric angst #cedric smut #cedric imagine #cedric oneshot #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory oneshot #harry potter

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davidpastrsnack · 4 years

Text

back for more - matthew tkachuk

a/n: first of all idk what this title is i just wanted to post this lol. back with more matty but this time with a splash of smut. wasn’t expecting it to be so filthy but here we are. let me know what you think! (it seriously means the world to get feedback)

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

You grew up in St. Louis, becoming quite close with the Tkachuk family when they moved in next door. You were basically inseparable from Brady and Taryn, but Matthew had been another story. He knew exactly how to piss you off, somehow managing to strike a nerve with every comment he threw your way. It didn’t help that he made you so nervous, he was attractive and he knew it. No matter how much both your parents tried, there was no way you two could peacefully coexist. Safe to say you avoided him at all costs, which wasn’t a lot with how close your families were. When Matthew left for Calgary, you finally got a break, able to enjoy your time at the Tkachuk house without his constant bickering.

Fast forward four years and you were offered your dream job right out of college. But there was a catch: it was in Calgary. It wasn’t even a decision to be made, this was the opportunity of a lifetime and you knew that the city was big enough to avoid Matthew. Except apparently it wasn't, and now you were stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of winding up in his bed.

You were lucky enough to know one of the other girls that worked at your company, quickly falling into an easy friendship with her. It was Saturday night and you and Ella decided to go out, both looking your absolute best. You went for all black, throwing on your favorite jeans, v-neck bodysuit, and heeled booties. As soon as you walked into the bar, you were hit with the dense, warm air, your attention drawn straight to one of the tvs showing highlights of the Flames win that night. You scoffed, not even wanting to think about Matthew, and pulled Ella to go get your first round. Soon enough, you found yourself talking to a guy at the bar, the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. But little did you know the young guys of the Flames had just walked in, in the mood to celebrate their win. Matthew felt his breath hitch in his throat the second he saw you. He knew you had moved to the city, his mom begging him to reach out and make you feel welcome, but of course he hadn’t. What he didn’t know is how unbelievably good you looked. He had always harboured a crush for you, something about the sweet girl next door just doing it for him. But you quickly became close with Brady and he didn’t want to intervene if there was something there. So in typical teenage boy fashion he did his best to annoy you at all times. By the time it was clear that you and Brady were just friends, he had already established his dislike for you and felt that it was too late to backtrack. But now here you were. Maybe it was the way your jeans perfectly cupped your ass or the high he was still riding from scoring two goals just hours before, but Matthew headed straight towards you.

There was no denying that the guy in front of you was hot, but something about his personality was straight up boring you. Just as you began plotting your escape, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You eagerly turned, expecting it to be Ella coming back from the bathroom, but your face dropped when you saw him. “Matthew,” you sighed, a self-satisfied smirk already on his face.

“Long time no see Y/N, hmm?” he grinned.

You may have hated him, but you couldn’t say he wasn’t beautiful. He towered over you, messy brown curls falling onto his forehead just above his baby blue eyes. His black t-shirt fit him perfectly, tight on his broad shoulders and around his biceps. His scent was intoxicating, daring you to move closer to his frame. And that’s when you knew you were a goner.

He somehow charmed you into coming home with him that night, not that you were putting up much of a fight. Nearly two months later, you found yourself under his spell, spending night after night together.

Tonight was no different. After a long east coast road trip, Matthew was begging you to come over despite the early hour of the morning. And that’s where you found yourself, pressed up against his door weakening beneath his body. His hands were heavy on your waist, moving his mouth from yours to trail hot, wet kisses down your neck. You whimpered as he started to suck your sweet spot between his teeth, feeling him smirk against your soft skin as he wound you up. “Matt- Matthew, please,” you begged, hands gently pulling his curls making him groan. With just a few touches he had you dripping for him, no one compared to the way he worshiped your body. He moved his hands down your body, splaying across your ass then your thighs. He gently tapped them urging you to jump, which you did right away, gasping when you felt how hard he was against you as you wrapped your legs around his hips.

“What do you want babygirl? You just gotta tell me,” Matthew whispered in your ear, making sure to grind into your core a little extra as he spoke.

“Fuck,” you whined. “Your t-tongue, your fingers. Please Matty.”

Matthew moved to carry you into his bedroom, continuing his assault on your neck. “Whatever my girl wants she gets.” You tried not to overthink his possessive language, and luckily you were quickly distracted as he dropped you on his bed. You couldn’t help but giggle as you bounced on the soft material, him grinning down at you, eyes full of admiration. It was moments like these that made you question the original agreement of just sex. He could be so sweet, so respectful. But you didn’t let yourself go there, knowing he had no interest in a relationship, especially not with his former childhood enemy.

Your thoughts were interrupted as Matthew went back to work, lips reattaching to your neck and rough hands slipping underneath your sweatshirt. You arched up into him in desperate need of more friction. He was taking his sweet time marking up your collarbone, but you couldn’t wait any longer, pushing him off your body so you could pull off your top.

“Someone’s eager,” he chirped with a smirk.

“Oh shut up,” you snapped back, pushing his head further down your body.

Matthew chuckled and wrapped his hands around your back, gracefully unclipping your bra and throwing it across the room. His pink lips trailed down, covering your boobs in fresh bruises, the partially healed ones still lingering from previous nights. Once he reached the band of your leggings he wasted no time pulling them off your legs in one swift motion, but he left your panties behind. He wasn’t quite done teasing you. Matthew hooked both your legs over his shoulders, settling in. His dominant hand moved to finally ghost your core, fingers faintly dragging up the black lace. He smiled up at you as he took in the sight in front of him. You were squirming beneath him, already losing control of your body completely. His thumb rubbed your clit in painfully slow circles, your arousal becoming visible through the material.

“Mattttty,” you whined, begging him to do something, anything.

He normally hated that nickname, it reeked of desperation from girls he had no plans of calling again. But when it fell from your lips he felt his dick twitch and his heart melt. No matter how many times he told himself differently, you weren’t just another girl and deep down he knew it.

“Okay, okay princess. I got you,” he cooed, finally pulling your panties off. “Fuck,” he groaned as he saw you glistening before him, “So wet for me baby.”

He delved right in, dragging his tongue up your slit, reveling in hearing your moans as he finally gave you what you needed so desperately. Your hands flew straight to his head, pulling at his curls making him moan into you. Slowly but surely he reached your clit, wrapping his swollen lips around it before detaching his mouth with a pop.

“Mhm, you taste so fucking good babygirl,” he groaned.

You didn’t have time to respond before he went back to work, tongue massaging your clit just right. You had learned very quickly that this boy knew exactly what he was doing. With one finger he teased your entrance, feeling you out before sliding it in.

“Fuck, fuck,” you whimpered, your back arching off the mattress as he curled it against your g-spot perfectly.

Matthew smirked against you, blue eyes lifting to lock with your gaze. He added another finger and picked up his pace. He knew you were close, and he also knew just how to finish you off. He flattened his tongue against your clit and shook his head back and forth, arm resting heavy on your waist to keep you from moving.

“Ma-Matty I’m gonna cum, fuck, fuck,” you yelled out, not holding back in the least bit. His name continued to fall out of your lips in a chant as you reached your high.

Matthew milked you through your orgasm, making sure to look up and watch as you fell apart. It was his favorite sight: the way your back arched, face twisted, and legs shaked. He finally slowed his movements, pulling back to watch your cum spill out as he removed his fingers. You sat up on your elbows trying to regain your breath, in awe of the man in front of you and the earth shattering orgasms he never failed to give you. He locked eyes with you, a devilish smirk on his face as he moved to suck his fingers clean.

“Feel better?” He teased with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, dragging him up by his shirt to kiss him, sighing as you tasted yourself on his tongue. He gently bit your bottom lip, making you pull away to urge him to shed his clothes.

--------

Two more orgasms later, you fell back against the mattress, chest rising with each breath as your body started to come down. Matthew laid next to you, his head tucked into the crook of your neck and his arm heavy across your waist. The two of you stayed like this for several minutes, basking in one another’s warmth. Neither of you would ever admit it, but this was your favorite moment of the night. That short bit of time when it was acceptable for fuck buddies to hold each other right after sex. But eventually you found yourself fighting everything within you and escaping from his grasp, moving to the bathroom to go clean up. Like usual, Matthew loosened his grip on you and watched you walk away, the door closing behind you.

Normally he would push his feelings to the side and let you leave, but he didn’t know if he could handle pretending tonight. Before he could talk himself out of it, he got out of bed, throwing on a fresh pair of boxers and grabbing a t-shirt. He sat on the edge of the bed waiting for you to emerge, heart beating out of his chest.

When you opened the door, you were expecting to see Matthew already half asleep, mumbling a goodbye to you. Early on in your arrangement, he insisted you stayed over in the guestroom, not wanting you to go home alone so late, but you refused. The best he got out of you was a text when you got home safe. You just couldn’t allow yourself to wake up in his apartment, that would be a cruel joke to your true feelings. But tonight, he was waiting up for you, a t-shirt in his hand.

You gave him a confused look, suddenly feeling very exposed in front of him.

Matthew moved his hands out to you, urging you to grab the shirt.

“What are you doing?” you questioned. There was no way this was what you hoped it was, he wouldn’t.

“Put it on,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

“Wha-,”

“I can’t do this anymore, okay? I can’t watch you leave every night and then fall asleep alone wishing I was holding you. So put the shirt on and get back in bed.”

It was almost like you didn’t believe him. You gave him another quizzical look, to which he responded by gesturing it towards you again. You finally reached out and grabbed the shirt, slowly pulling it over your head. It was big, and you couldn’t deny that your heart fluttered as the soft fabric fell over your frame. You hesitantly moved towards the bed, climbing back under the sheets. Matthew slid in behind you, immediately reaching and grabbing your waist, pulling you flush against him.

You stayed silent for a minute, but your mind wouldn’t shut off. You couldn’t just pretend that this was normal.

“You know we have to talk about this, right? You’re not that dumb,” you mumbled at the end.

He scoffed, but it quickly turned into a chuckle as you turned in his arms and he saw your face, laced with confusion.

“What is there to talk about?” he smirked.

“Matty,” you warned, not blind to how his cheeks pinkened at the name.

Matthew sighed, “Look, Y/N, I don’t think you hate me as much as you pretend to. And I’m telling you that I never hated you like it seemed for all those years. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure we’ve been exclusively hooking up for a while now and fuck, I want more,” he declared.

You of course agreed with him, but you decided to have a little fun.

“How do you know you’re not just one of many on my roster, hmm?” you teased, but he saw right through you.

“You’re here almost every night I’m not away. I would honestly be impressed if you were doing that,” he laughed as he looked down at you, moving his hand to play with your hair.

You didn’t even have words, just cupping his cheek and pressing a slow kiss to his lips. When you pulled back, he was staring at you with the softest eyes, and after so long you finally let yourself stare back.

“Okay but I’m not telling our parents. That’s on you,” you spoke.

“Umm, about that, I already told my mom-”

“You told your mom that we’re fucking! What is wrong with you Matthew?” you exclaimed, playfully hitting his bare chest as he burst into laughter.

“No! I just told her we started hanging out a little bit. That’s all baby.”

“Oh thank god,” you sighed, relieved that the woman you basically considered a second mother didn’t know that your relationship with her son started as a Saturday night bar hook up.

After another fit of giggles, the physical and emotional exhaustion of the night finally struck. You turned into Matthew’s body and nuzzled into his chest, his arms holding you close. His lips grazed your forehead, whispering goodnight. But just when you felt your eyes slipping shut, you heard that voice one more time.

“I should probably tell you though, Brady knows about the fucking.”

“Mathewwwww,” you groaned into his skin, feeling your body shake as his vibrated with laughter.

Even though you had a lot of explaining to do back home, you were so happy to have the pest by your side through it all.

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk smut #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl smut #hockey imagine #hockey writing #hockey smut #my writing

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