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incorrect-quotes-4-u · 15 days

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Obey Me Quote #10

Levi: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.

Asmo: What hints have you given them?

Levi: Well, I think about them a lot.

Levi: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

#incorrect quotes #obey me #om! leviathan #obey me leviathan #leviathan #omnb #omswd #om leviathan #obey me levi #obey me shall we date #om asmodeus #om! asmodeus #obey me asmodeus #asmo #asmo incorrect quotes #levi incorrect quotes

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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 5 months

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Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.

Mammon, sighing: Okay-

Asmo: I'm coming!

Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...

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l3viat8an · 1 year

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*In nightbringer*

Asmo: Do you realise there's a rumour going around that you're in love with MC?

Solomon: A rumour? Are you telling me people are doubting it????

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tsukii0002 · 1 month

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Mc: I can't take it anymore… If you continue to be so irresponsible I'll take the kids!!!!

Mammon: Please Mc! Forgive me, I promise I will change. I will be a better father!

Mc: I can't ensure the welfare of my children over words.

Mammon: Mc! I will never stop caring about our children!!!

Levi: *confused* What are they doing?

Asmo: Oh *eating popcorn* they are arguing because Mammon bought birdseed for canaries instead of special birdseed for crows for the new chicks.

Satan: *stealing popcorn from Asmo* And now Mc has restricted Mammon's care over them.

Levi: And what do the parents think, the crows?

Satan: *holding back laughter * They're on Mc's side.

Levi: Pfff *starting to laugh*

Mc: It's too late...

Mammon: Mc nooo!!!!

.

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temis-de-leon · 1 month

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Based on that one joke from TikTok. My pc is still broken and I can't write anything decent:

.

MC: Fuck… I forgot to peel my skin today.

Mammon: What?

MC: My skin, I didn't peel it today.

Asmo: Like a mask?

MC: No, just my skin.

Asmo: Solomon's never done that.

MC: It's just the girls, Solomon doesn't know shit.

Satan: You have to peel it?

MC: Once a month, just after my period.

Asmo: You're molting?

MC: Yeah, sure.

Mammon: And you didn't do it today??!

MC: Don't worry, I can do it tomorrow.

Satan: Nonsense MC, we can help you now.

MC: …no, don't worry… it's kinda taboo for girls anyway…

Asmo: Don't be silly, MC! We'd never judge you!

Satan: And it'll probably take less time if the three of us are helping you.

Mammon: That's right! C’mon MC, let's peel your skin off!

MC: …oh no.

.

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me! shall we date?#om! shall we date #om! swd #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me mc #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me x female reader #obey me crack #obey me shitpost #shitpost #obey me incorrect quotes

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deviljesterlamb · 5 months

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Mammon: YO, MC!

MC: *looks at Mammon* Yeah?

Mammon: This is for you, babe!~

Mammon: *Throws the basketball at the basket but misses. Though the ball bounces off hard on the basket and hits Solomon on the head, instantly knocking him out*

Asmodeus: OMG! SOLOMON!

Mammon: Ah hell...I messed up that one hard.

MC: *kisses his cheek* No you didn't. I loved it. ♡

Mammon: *blushing hard* Oh--Uh--Cool! Heh!

Belphie: *poking Solomon with a stick* Is he dead?

Beel: At least we don't have to deal with his cooking tonight...

Solomon, muttering out: I...can still...cook...

Asmodeus: *SHRIEKS AND GRABS THE BALL AND HITS SOLOMON IN THE HEAD AGAIN*

Everyone: ...

Asmodeus: ...Okay, maybe I over reacted a little bit...

Mammon: A LITTLE BIT!?!

Beel: No, you did the right thing, Asmo.

Belphie: Hit him again. It was funny. Hehehe.

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me solomon #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo

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astaroth1357 · 5 months

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Mask Off, Nerd Out:

*all of the brothers have just finished a family dinner with MC. The food was nice, but their human has been oddly quiet throughout the whole meal. As the finished plates are getting stacked up, they shoot each other worried glances*

Mammon: *whispers to Satan* Hey, have they being actin' kinda weird to you...?

Satan: *whispers back* So you've noticed...?

Asmo: *comes up behind Satan and joins* Did anyone upset them today? Like you, Mammon?

Mammon: Hey, it wasn't me...!

*while those three keep whispering, Beel comes over to collect MC's plate. They've been sp checked out that they've barely touched their food at all, they just keep bouncing their leg under the table*

Beel: MC? ... Are you going to finish that?

*his question makes MC snap awake briefly, turning to look at him like a deer in headlights before shaking their head*

MC: N-no! No, uh... I'm fine. Go ahead, Beel.

*they push the plate towards him before going back to staring at the table blankly. Beel eats their forgotten meal, but frowns at them between bites*

Beel: Really-mmphhg-? Are you-*gulp*-sure?

MC: *bounces their leg more rapidly, nodding* Yep. Yep. Totally fine!....

*Mammon finally steps away from Satan and Asmo and nudges Beel to the side*

Mammon: Are ya really sure? 'Cause you don't look fine...

MC: *continues to stare at the table like they're mentally screaming inside, at this point nearly vibrating at an atomic level*

MC: Yep, uhm-hm, all fine, totally good!

*Mammon's about to pull their chair back from the table, but Levi suddenly jumps in between them. For once, the timid otaku looks actually confident about something. Damn near certain in fact!*

Levi: Don't worry, I got this. Leave it to me!

Levi: *takes a seat next to MC*

Levi: MC. Is there something you're hoping to talk about right now?

*MC nearly breaks their neck with how quick they turn to face him, eyes locked on and body finally going still. Slowly... an ecstatic grin starts to brighten their face*

MC: Ohmygod,soIjuststartedthismanga,right,aboutaworldwerepeoplesometimesturnintothesemonsterscalledChoujinandthemaincharacterislike-

*MC keeps talking a mile a minute while Levi nods along happily and the other brothers look at them like they're aliens, but also seem visibly relieved...*

Mammon: Ah. They just had to nerd out, I guess...

#self indulgent post #cause i just got diagnosed for autism #i guess there were signs lol #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me mammon #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me incorrect quotes

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lokiangel · 1 year

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Obey me incorrect quotes #14

In the Group chat*

Simeon-*Posts a super low-quality image *

Mammon- If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Satan- If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read these chats, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at Lucifer.

Asmo- Actually I did the math, Mammon would have $225, not $0.15.

Beel- If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Mc- while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice, please?

Beel- Sorry I would only have a dollar

Mc- :(

Belphie- Hey I just realized Beel is right, Mammon would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Beel- If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Levi- You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Belphie- Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Diavolo- Apply the juice to what?

Levi- Directly to your forehead

Lucifer- NO

Mc- Great chat everyone

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hopeluna-archived · 2 years

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Mammon, up to his shit again: Are you religious? I'd like to introduce you to my religion

Lucifer: What are you-

Mammon, showing a picture of MC: this is my religion

Lucifer: .....I'm interested.

The brothers: we are interested

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asmosmainhoe · 3 months

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Asmo: Soup of the day implies another, possibly even seductive, soup of the night

Lucifer: What-

Beel: No, let him talk

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me brothers #obey me boys #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me lucifer #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel

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my-names-angel-but-im-not-one · 2 months

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Petty mc #3

Asmo: mc~ I think it's time you forgive belphie for what he did~

MC: nah, he can still kill me he's a traitor.

Asmo: what makes you think that~?

MC: alright look, hey belphie!

Belphie: huh? Yeah?

MC: traitorsaywhat.

Belphie: what?

MC: see.

Asmo: ...... you're so cruel~

#obey me shall we date #obey me short fic #obey me gn!reader #obey me leviathan #obey me barbatos #obey me mammon #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me #obey me belphegor #obey me asmo #petty mc

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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 11 months

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Random narrator: “This is Mc. Mc loves their personal space.”

*Asmo hugging Mc tightly*

Random narrator: “This is Asmo. Asmo also loves Mc’s personal space.”

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l3viat8an · 5 months

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MC: Asmo, how did you convince Mephisto to help us?…….did you bribe him?

Asmo: Bribe?! Sweetheart, you know I would never lower myself to bribery!! I blackmailed him~

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tsukii0002 · 28 days

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Mc and Satan reading peacefully in his room.

Asmo: *suddenly entering*

Satan: Asmo?

Asmo: *looking around*

Satan: What do you need?

Asmo: *moves some books, shifts others around*

Satan: Asmo!

Mc: Pff-

Asmo: *picks up a jacket and throws it on the floor and then leaves, but turning off the light before* >:3

Satan: ?????

Mc: *laughs* So that sibling thing doesn't just happen with humans.

.

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neiveel3llson · 1 month

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Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

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deviljesterlamb · 1 year

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MC: Next guy to piss me off. I'm clawing their eyes out.

Asmo: No-no, hon! You can't do that!

MC: Why?

Asmo: You'll ruin your nails! That's why! I worked so hard on them after all!

MC: Ah...That's true.

Asmo: *pulls out a knife from his bag*

Asmo: Here. Use this instead. It'll do the job well and you won't ruin your nails if you use it right~! ♡

MC: OH! 💕

*MC is about to grab the knife from Asmo but it's suddenly taken away by Lucifer*

Lucifer: THERE WILL BE NO USE OF KNIVES FOR SUCH THINGS, YOU TWO!

Asmo and MC: Awww...

#obey me #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #asmodeus x y/n #asmodeus x you #asmodeus x reader

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