#but anyway its weird how you can disagree with someone who you normally agree with a lot

[mikuni14]

I wanted to reply to this post by @italianpersonwithashippersheart and it turned out to be a very long text, so I'm posting it separately 😉

I have a tactic of reading posts on Tumblr, that as soon as I start reading and see that the author is going in a direction that I know I won't like, I immediately stop and move on (ALTHOUGH sometimes the author writes something I don't agree with in such an engaging way that I read it to the end for intellectual pleasure, or it's someone I like with whom I disagree just this time, but I read it anyway because, after all, I like that person for a reason 😚). That's why, fortunately, I usually (<- key word, usually) avoid fandom wars and problematic fandom behavior. I do this because I know how irritating fandom can be sometimes, especially when a it goes to war to defend its blorbo, or ship, or the entire series. And I regret to say that defenders are the most aggressive... Personally, I don't mind fans living on ships, their blorbo, squealing about them and so on. (I mean, I do that!) Unfortunately, as I'm sure you all know, so many fans who live it, LIVE IT and it's not just fun for them, it's the meaning of their lives. This is where the attacks on actors come from, like the recent attack on Nut, a homewrecker 😆 in Pit Babe, having the audacity to be friends with the actor playing Alan AND HE BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE!, or, as in the case of DFF, tearing Ta into two parts by his ukes two fandoms lmao. Unfortunately, such behavior poisons a positive fandom experience and even I can see it, even though I try very hard NOT to see it.

It also seems to me that DFF viewers could be divided into two distinct groups: DFF fans and BL fans 😉 I'm a DFF fan and that's why I'm interested in meta, theories and Tan. I like PheeJin for their dynamic, but, I don't really care if they end the series as a couple. Besides, for me DFF is a mystery/thriller/slasher/social commentary series with BL elements, in which I DON'T HAVE to have a happy ending for BL relationships to be happy, I only want Tan to be happy. However, someone for whom DFF is only a BL series could be frustrated because 1) there is no monogamy 😬 2) there is "cheating" 3) the characters behave unpleasantly 4) the characters behave in ambiguous ways and it's often not clear what they think and whom they truly love 5) the characters behaviour becomes unpredictable and non-standard and often problematic 6) the plot keeps getting weird, instructions unclear 7) what about my ship?? *panic*

Regarding the concerns about the ending of the series: in any other series I would have EXACTLY THE SAME worries. But I look at DFF in two categories:

as a slasher

as a story about life, without a moral lesson

This makes me NOT worry about the ending because:

if you look at it as a slasher and my favorite film of this type, i.e. Scream and to some extent also Final Destination, there is no moralizing here, because the victims are often innocent and still die, because this is the rule of this genre: people die in masses

if we do NOT look at it as a story with a moral lesson, we also get rid of the compulsion to judge, like, did they deserve or not to die?

I know that in the DFF fandom we often joke, more or less seriously, that we would like this one or that one to die, or for everyone to die, but this is completely normal behavior when consuming media in which someone gets hurt. In the case of DFF, emotions are high because we naturally stand on the side of someone who is bullied and we see how others, through their actions or omissions, or often making stupid mistakes, saying cruel words in anger, contributed to the great tragedy of the entire family. But what I noticed is that the series does not actually moralize. It emphasizes very clearly that Non is a victim, but he is not entirely innocent and has made many stupid decisions himself, having had other choices, while also showing why he makes such choices. It shows Por as a complete asshole, while showing his environment and expectations towards him, but it does not absolve him. It even shows Keng not as a typical sweaty, brutal pedo, but someone who is genuinely concerned about Non, AT THE SAME TIME showing the issue of his pressure on Non, the money, the grooming.

The series presents dry facts, shows characters from different sides, in different situations, it also shows how events move from point A to B and further along the letters of the alphabet :) all the time discovering new facts that explain more and more, sometimes posing a seemingly already explained situation in a completely new perspective.

Personally, I don't get the impression that the series even WANTS us to moralize in our high glass tower, because the series clearly shows that the innocent, defenseless and vulnerable suffer and no one helps them. That a stupid event can lead to tragedy with the butterfly effect. That sometimes things happen beyond our knowledge, that we are just a pawn in someone else's game and, despite our sincere intentions, we cannot stop the course of events. And that the poor have a hard time and lose entire families and their future, with the first fatality in the series being the only son and the future of the richest family.

Therefore, I am 99% sure that:

we do not know all the facts that can turn all our predictions, judgments and faith in what is happening on the screen 180 degrees

whatever happens to Tan, Phee and Jin, I doubt it will be presented as a punishment/reward for anything

Tan can kill them all and not be the winner, Phee can kill Tan and live with it for the rest of his life as a loser

there is no way for the series to end sensibly AND with "the victory of good over evil" and"justice", because evil has been winning all the time and every kick to Non's face, the death of his parents, Tan's "madness", the death of two young people, the trauma of the others were proof of that, also all the lives lost and their future in which change for good is possible

At the moment, I have nothing to complain about the 10 episodes so far, for me the series is run logically, and any question marks that appear in my head, I am calmly waiting for their answers in the next episodes. THERE IS HOWEVER ONE THING THAT WILL ANGRY ME ABOUT THE ENDING: IF THE SERIES MAKES TAN A CONVERTED SINNER WHO CHOOSES LOVE, PEACE AND FORGIVENESS AT THE LAST MOMENT 🤮 I don't even want to think about it. This is the worst thing that can happen.

Despite everything, I still believe that the series will not do something so stupid at the end, that from a painfully realistic story about life with hints of a thriller and a slasher, it will turn into a fairy tale with a moral lesson, in which good (the established social order) will be rewarded and evil (anarchy represented by Tan) will be punished.

I have my dream ending, but whatever, it's my fantasy 😍 But at least 3 BL series from recent weeks ended exactly NOT the way I wanted, so I'm resigned to the fact that DFF may also fail in this matter 🤡

tl;dr everything will be fine, and if it's not fine, we have a great team to sit together and bitch together 🥳

@italianpersonwithashippersheart I fucking love rant posts 😤😤 I LOVED YOURS 💖💖💖

#dead friend forever #thai bl #bl drama

[in-a-trans-like-state]

.

#not to like vauge on people but like i really do t like reylo even though soneone i follow does #and keeps defending it #i haven't seen the new movie yet so what ever #but anyway its weird how you can disagree with someone who you normally agree with a lot #id unfollow but i really like their non sw stuff #also like fuck if im going to actually say anything to them cos like thats just rude #im just venting cos like id perfer not to have to scroll really fast past rey/lo shit that i dont want to see #also like its weird that characters can exist in your head but be totally different in someone else's #and normally i dont care and find its interesting especially if its well written/argued #like obi wan? 99% fanstuff around him is 100% fandom but idc #and Anakin has SOO many interpretations #BUT i also dont want to go anywhere near rey/lo cos i have read a lot about how its toxic #and watching tlj i could see how they were pushing it but it came off as really toxic (and just boring) to me #so like my opinion could be changed (and i have read interesting rey/lo meta that was like yeah this could be interesting #but it also didn't ship them or say they kyle should be redeemed so i kinda agreed) #anyway i forgot what my point was? #people have different opinions and when its over fictional characters ot really doesn't matter?? #but that i still really dislike rey/lo #someone else i follow callsd it the bad ship and i like that #i speak

[headspace-hotel]

the phrases “go outside” and “touch grass” having cropped up recently is an…interesting Internet phenomenon

Has anybody thought about the weirdness of the Internet of all places being seen as insular?

almost anywhere on the internet is, in many ways, probably one of the LEAST insular communities you’re a part of anywhere. The internet allows access to a huge number and variety of people, and if you live in a rural area, more so than practically any real life community. The comments section of a YouTube upload of one of AC/DC’s songs is probably more diverse than the city I live in or the college I attend.

Like??? I’m talking to people from dozens of countries right now. I’m WAY more “outside” than I am when I’m actually outside (in rural Kentucky).

However, almost everybody can agree that there’s a real phenomenon where some opinions and issues only make any sense at all or seem important in insular internet communities that don’t matter to the larger world. They disagree wildly about what these opinions and issues are, but they agree that they exist.

I think the wild disagreement might be a hint to the nature of the phenomenon of being Very Online.

I ask myself: Is anyone really…whatever the opposite of Very Online is? Internet access is definitely not necessary for developing ideas about how the world works that seem completely bonkers to 95% of the population.

I mean, I was homeschooled and belonged to a homeschool group where like 2 people believed in evolution and maybe half were vaccinated. People are remarkable in their capability to build insular communities that have ideas in their heads about most of the world that are very wrong. (There’s a corollary to “very online” called “very not online,” and it’s characterized by, among other things, never having talked to someone from a country with socialized medicine.) I have had some truly wild experiences with people who think ridiculous things because they haven’t actively tried to listen to people with dissimilar experiences.

Every small town or rural isolated church is, in its own way, a tidepool where people come up with weird ideas about what the ocean is like. People in those communities find things like “gay people are all so promiscuous they have hundreds of sexual partners in their lifetimes on average” believable partially because they don’t have actual experiences to refute it.

I would even argue that EVERYONE has things that are a normal part of their understanding of the world that most people would find absolutely wild.

But also?? A lot of the things people point out as “Very Online” takes are actually literally just things that the person has only been personally exposed to online.

For example, “people drink soda to help with adhd symptoms” was so widely ridiculed a while back when it’s just…a logical and uncontroversial medical Reality that stimulants are used to treat adhd and that caffeine is a stimulant. Why do people think this is an idea only people who never leave their houses could have? Because much of the discussion of ADHD they have seen has been online. Why is that? …well, ableism, for one.

Anyway, the reason” go outside” never seems to be a helpful contribution to an argument is because there is no single universal experience of the “Real World,” nor is any one person’s Real World experience necessarily more “representative” of the way the world “really works.”

And this is why you get people saying stuff like “There aren’t any non-binary people in the Real World! That’s only on the internet!”

Maybe you don’t know any non-binary people in real life, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Your mistake is that you think everyone you talk to online is in tide pools, and you are in the ocean.

You are not in the metaphorical ocean! Your limited real world experience is a tide pool too!

[probably-haven]

after binge reading i have come to a new revelation: I’m not a fan of most Xiaoven fanfics

Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship and its one of my favorite to think about.... but most of the fanfiction for the ship just- doesn’t sit right with me for a number of reasons. 

Disclaimer: these are personal opinions from my own taste and are in no way an attack against any authors out there, because frankly fanfic authors are great and not like i could do better lol. As these are personal opinions, I acknowledge here and now that a number of people disagree and that they are under no obligation to change their opinions in any way as it is not and never will be my intention to tell others what they should be thinking That said- read at your own risk if you want- meh, anyway-

time to share some opinions that have been on my mind lately

The biggest reason.... is how they handle Xiao. And I don’t even mean mischaracterization because Xiao is such a complex and yet simultaneously simple character that as long as you’re somewhere in the range of “Xiao vibes” it’s really hard to write him out of character because of his complexities. What I mean is something that i actually completely agree with as being accurate to his character. In nearly every single fanfic I’ve seen, there is some element of idolization that Xiao has for Venti, or for the sake of reference, Barbatos. He tends to think himself beneath Barbatos and/or indebted to him, whether that be because he’s an archon, because he saved him, or simply because of Xiao’s tendency to dehumanize(yes i see the irony in that word usage) himself.  This by itself isn’t an issue but its often how this trait of his is treated.

Imma just list a few ways I’ve seen this be handled within Xiaoven fics. - It isn’t handled, it’s just there and accepted as a part of who he is in the story - It isn’t handled but his trait is treated as source of humor within the story - Venti(and others) roll with it (finding humor in it, just cant change it, encouraging it, making jokes about it, etc.) - Venti takes advantage of it(whether accidentally or purposely) - it’s actually addressed(by Venti or someone else or the narration- can go a number of ways, but just- even a brief reference to the fact that its not a good mindset fits in here) - savior!Venti(Where venti disagrees with it but the way it’s written gives off “god among mortals” vibes- like he’s just being humble and truly is above him in reality) - its the focus of the story  - not directly addressed but shown to be destructive.  - they chose not to not include this in the story’s characterization of Xiao(just saying that this is valid ahead of time) Theres others but i have a lot already.  Note that I tend to read more ‘serious-toned’(idk if that makes sense) fics so that may skew my perception

Now there’s a few that i have issues with on their own- both instances of it not being handled, Venti(and others) rolling with it, Venti takes advantage of it(purposely(and without good intent)), and savior!Venti. Xiao not only has this trait, but he is unfamiliar with what is normal in relationships or emotions as a result of isolation and inexperience. He is also either not aware of or not concerned with what is considered strictly “healthy.” Combining these makes for a rather dangerous combination and just accepting it as “oh he’s just like that, it’s who he is” or making it out to be something funny- It’s not wrong or bad by any means necessarily, and I could still possibly enjoy it to an extent depending on a series of different factors, but its- not as often.  Even in the case where I do enjoy reading it however, I would still feel uncomfortable sharing it with or recommending it to others because in the first instance it feels like normalizing a destructive and dangerous mindset, and in the second case it does the same while simultaneously making a joke of it. It’s the same deal with Venti or other characters rolling with it, but that’s probably gonna be mentioned later too. Not to say that this is a “wrong” way to handle it, that it makes the fic bad, or that authors even are normalizing anything by doing so, just that in my specific instance- not a fan. 

I’ll get to the others when i talk more about Venti, but for now: It’s the focus of the story. I think I saw like... 2? where the story was like- focused on this and why its a problem which- power to them, address those real world problems like a boss- but also i wouldn’t actively seek it out or anything- like, good job, but doing so just leaves it open neutrally for other factors to decide how good a story i think it is. 

not directly addressed but shown to be destructive. You’d think i wouldn’t like this- but frankly in fanfiction not everyone wants to address every character flaw verbally because it can through off story, narration, dialogue, and general flow to do so. This can be with an event, an action, a dialogue, a mere comment, making it actually fit into the it’s actually addressed category except that its- subtle enough to make its own category. plus i live for show not tell- in everything- its a thing. im- very much a fan of when the fics do this but the subtlety is easy to miss and its not common so- 

It’s actually adressed- doesnt have to be a lot- just mention anywhere or imply anywhere that maybe idolizing someone as a god and savior and being in a relationship with them while having little knowledge of standards, emotions, relationships, or healthy behaviors in general- maybe isnt the smartest idea in the word. (”Call me Venti, not Barbatos” by itself is not enough to fit in this category tho as a note)

-

Now lets talk about Venti...

uh.... those who have followed me for awhile will probably already know this but... I have a lot of opinions on Venti and a pretty- “niche(?)” perception of his characterization that isn’t shared by a lot of others- so I don’t actually read as much Venti fanfic in general as you might expect because I often end up disagreeing with how writers portray him, which again, in no way is their characterization wrong, but- “their perceived truth” conflicts with “my perceived truth” and by extent so does the characterization, though neither is any more correct than the other from an objective point of view, if that makes sense... but anyways now that that’s said, moving on before this becomes a philosophy lecture, as fun as that would be for me.  I’ll try to keep my “perceived truth” out of this for the first bit. 

Venti’s response to this: 

He rolls with it: this depends on the mood of the fanfiction. If they dont put a lot of stress on that trait of Xiao’s it totally fine but if the trait seems to be a major part of Xiao’s character, it seems like normalization once more. (more on this later)

he takes advantage of it purposely: if its an AU or something and Venti’s like a villain(i saw a few) then- villain venti isnt my cup of tea but i have no qualms. If they don’t portray Venti in a negative light while having him take advantage however that’s a bit uncomfortable to read for me because it feels like normalizing taking advantage of that mindset as well as the mindset itself. However, i did see a number of instances of Venti using it as leverage for like- self care- which i definitely have no qualms. Xiao: [insert probably destructive idolizing statement about being indebt] Venti: How bout you pay me back by actually sleeping for once smh or other variations are okay and depending on the vibe are actually a really fun dynamic as long as it doesnt turn into romanticizing or normalizing it, y’know?

Venti accidentally taking advantage of it.... I love angst- and in most of these theres a sense of guilt when he realizes- and i just think thats a lovely way of addressing the dangers of such a mindset for both sides. As long as it doesn’t keep repeating to the point of romanticization its totally cool to read in my eyes(not irl ofc). If Venti never realizes he accidentally took or is taking advantage it feels a bit like normalization, and if he does but just- doesn’t care thats- a rip.

savior!Venti...... i- i hate. the story giving off vibes that Xiao’s mindset is technically correct while Venti oh so humbly tells him to treat him as an equal like the wonderful and charitable person he is.... i just- no. of course thats over dramatizing it- I think the main thing that gives it this vibe is when Venti doesn’t seem either concerned, surprised, uncomfortable, or otherwise have a negative feeling towards Xiao’s mindset. Just- it makes the whole thing weird in my eyes when Venti doesnt really seem to have his own reason to oppose the mindset idk- 

-

fact time!

Venti is the god of freedom. His backstory is freeing Mondstadt from a god’s tyrannical reign. His origin is a windsprite, just another breeze bringing changes for the better. His form is a nameless boy who played an instrument and then died, thus failing at his only dream and only ever accomplishing anything because of the help of others. He slept for a thousand years after the archon war to avoid putting Mond under the rule of yet another tyrannical god. He only even became a god because Andrius chose to let him. He wouldn’t have even had that chance if the nameless bard had survived, he’d remain just another wind while his friend ascended to godhood. Venti sacrifices his own power for his people’s freedom. 

now that I’ve laid out a number of canon facts, time for opinions:

Venti has little to no desire to be seen as a god. He thrives in, comes from, and emphasizes a lack of superiority in quite nearly everything. The first Ragnvindir, who canonically turned his back on Venti after Decarabian’s fall, likely did so because one- he anticipated power would corrupt and Venti would soon become just another tyrannical god, two- he suspected Venti used the nameless bard in an attempt to rise to godhood, or three- idk insert other possibilities to acknowledge again that i could totally be wrong.

Look me in the eyes and tell me Venti wouldnt trade godhood for his friend in an instant. His godhood was only granted to him because his friend died and could easily serve to constantly remind him of what could have been and what he lost. Venti takes no enjoyment from being seen as superior and in my opinion, I feel that it could actually make him largely uncomfortable when his divinity and abilities as an archon get involved-

also self promotion for my favorite posts- check out #archon war era venti if thats interesting to you

so anyway Venti rolling with it or making jokes about it just doesn’t sit right with me.- 

-

Okay! enough talking about that mindset!

idk- i have... a few/lot of other gripes and stuff or just things that kinda throw off the vibe for me but that’s the main one plus my general personal pickiness when it come to Venti fanfics- but this has gotten long enough already- 

idk i just felt like rambling about it and i haven’t done a long post in a while so-

again, I love the ship and its actually one of my favorites- just the fanfic isnt my thing..... that doesn’t mean i don’t still love it and come up with a whole ton of brainrot and ideas on it tho lmao

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiaoven #genshin barbatos #opinions #discourse #? idk ill tag it just in case #dont mind my constant backtracking and justifying and repeated disclaimers- #i just have a crippling fear of being cancelled lol

[imkylotrash]

Night Hunting

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

Request: She met him in pub, after one of the hunts and they've kept in touch. But he didn't tell her where he's from and she didn't tell him that she is a hunter. Things change when one of the hunts goes wrong and reader somehow gets to the Alfea. One of the kids get hurt and reader is suspected, but she recognizes which monster it is and goes on a hunt. Anonymous

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @anreeixcobra @kingunder221b @lflores2008 @alexiapayne12 @quuenofblacks @quarterback-5 @estelmei @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @artsyle​ @baueoud @glowingatdawn @shadowhuntyi @alice-the-nerd

"You're looking awfully lonely," you state sitting down next to the stranger in the bar. You're lucky enough to have the evening to yourself as you wait for Sam and Dean to return from the library. You only just got to town and Sam was already doing the research while Dean had been dragged along much against his will.

"I have company," he says holding up his beer. He sounds grumpy and like he's looking for a distraction. You can definitely be his distraction.

It's not the last time you meet the stranger called Saul. It becomes somewhat of a tradition to meet up whenever you're in town. And with a face like Saul's, you make sure you're in town a lot. You admit to Dean why you're always so eager to return to California because he's your twin and you've never been able to hide anything from him but Sam remains in the dark. You don't need two brothers teasing you about your little crush.

"You know what it'll cost you if I'm going to keep your secret," Dean says very matter-of-factly.

"What?" you ask already regretting the decision to confide in Dean.

"My music plays for all of four months in the car with no objection. And you buy me every piece of pie I even look at," he says and you groan in protest. It's the one thing you've always disagreed about. You both hate each other's music taste.

"Deal," you say somewhat begrudgingly before getting ready for the hunt. You're already wishing for it to be over so you can meet up with Saul. You have no idea what goes wrong but the wendigo gets you with its claws. In the chaos of the fight, you stumble through a portal of some kind leaving behind the tiny town of Gardenia and your brothers only to find your way to a forest. You try to head back but the door refuses to budge which concerns you a little because Sam and Dean are still back there with the monster.

It's the screeching noise that convinces you to move away from the shed and into a world, you didn't even know existed. It's pure luck that you make it through the forest to find some huge mansion. It's eerily quiet in the darkness of the night which makes you feel even more uneasy. Where the hell did you end up? Blood is still pouring from the gash and you have nothing to bandage it with.

"Shit," you mumble as you spot the lights of a car heading your way. You hide behind a tree feeling yourself grow weaker from the blood loss. The last thing you remember is someone saying your name before you pass out.

When you come to, you're lying in a soft bed that you definitely didn't find on your own. It takes you a few seconds to realise that this is not a good sign. You have no idea where you are and how you got here. Dean would be disappointed in you. The hunter in you takes over as you quietly get to your feet ignoring the throbbing pain in your abdomen. You're about to open the door to take a peek at what's outside of this room when someone beats you to it.

"Saul?" You don't believe your eyes. What is he doing here?

"What are you doing out of bed?" he ushers you back to bed and he means it nicely but you're already wondering how you could miss that he wasn't a normal human being. There are about two dozen theories running through your mind as you try to remember every little detail of what's happened up until now.

"How did you find this place?" he asks more serious than you've ever seen him. You keep quiet not wanting to give away your only advantage right now. You know

"Look, I know this is all very scary but I need you to talk to me because right now, I've got people on the other side of that door suspecting you of almost killing one of our students last night. And I'm trying to convince them that you're not that type of person." Your eyes open wide from pure shock. The wendigo must've followed you instead of the guys. But how did the student get away from the wendigo? It's near impossible to win over a wendigo at night.

"I didn't hurt anyone. But I think I know what did." He doesn't stop you this time when you get out of bed. Instead, he lets you lean on him for support.

"I need to see the student before I'm sure," you inform Saul and he takes you to the infirmary right away leading you past a man and a woman who looks ready to murder you.

"Friendly crowd," you mumble and Saul has to contain a smile.

==

"It's definitely a wendigo. I was hunting one last night and it must've followed me here." Imagine your surprise when all they do is look at you like you've gone completely crazy. It's so weird being around people who are not used to this life. If this had been Sam and Dean, you'd already be out looking for it.

"Care to elaborate a little?" Saul asks. The student is completely passed out but you still feel weird talking about it in front of him.

"Maybe we could go somewhere private then? I need to sit down anyway." You need to gather as much strength as you possibly can if you're going to go out and kill a wendigo - and time is ticking. The sun will go down in a couple of hours and you're not hunting that thing in the dark.

"What's a wendigo?" It's the first time the woman has spoken directly to you and you sort of wish she would've continued not talking to you. Her appearance scares you more than most of the monsters you've hunted.

"To keep it short, it was once a human and now it's a monster feeding on human beings. It normally hibernates with enough victims to keep it fed. Fire is the easiest way to kill it but I assure you, it's not as easy as it sounds." You still want to know how the hell the student got away from the wendigo considering they've never faced one before. How is he not dead?

"Have you killed one before?" the woman asks and you just nod.

"It's not easy. That kid in there should feel lucky he survived. I've never seen a human escape the claws of a wendigo." The tension is thick enough to cut it with a knife. Saul clears his throat ignoring the pointed look from the woman.

"We run a school for fairies. The student is a fire fairy. We're assuming he used his powers to escape." Fire fairy? This is definitely not good.

"Farah, we'll need to close off the school until we find it." The woman, who you now know is called Farah, agrees. She hurries off with the other man leaving you alone with Saul.

"You're a fairy?"

"No. I'm a specialist." You have so many questions but you sort through them only asking the most vital ones for now. The clock is ticking and you need to get out there.

"You can't hunt like that," Saul protests but he has no idea that you've been in much worse shape than this.

"I'll be fine." You lean in and kiss him because it's been a weird day and you need just one normal thing to happen. Kissing Saul is that normal thing.

"Just in case I don't get to do that again," you say but you can't keep a straight face. Saul looks about ready to chain you to the bed just to make sure you don't go anywhere.

"You need to learn how to take a joke. This is what I do for a living, Saul. I'll be fine," you chuckle but it's clear that you out there hunting definitely doesn't seem like a good idea to Saul. Lucky for you, you won't have to go out there alone. In the blink of an eye, your brothers and Crowley have teleported into the room. Dean immediately pins Saul against the wall.

"Are you okay?" he yells making you roll your eyes.

"Let him go, Dean. That's Saul." It takes a second for Dean to realise what you're saying and even longer for Crowley and Sam.

"He's sort of my boyfriend ish. We haven't really discussed the terms yet." Your cheeks turn red as you lock eyes with Saul. You've just thrown the b-word but he doesn't seem bothered by it at all.

"Wait, how did you even get here?"

"I'm the King of Hell, love. It's my job to know about all realms." There's going to be a long conversation between you and Saul to explain everything but right now the focus needs to be on the wendigo.

"Let's go hunting."

#saul silva x reader #saul silva imagine #saul silva blurb #saul silva #winx saul silva #winx club #fate the winx saga #fate the winx club #fate the winx icons #fate netflix #winx netflix #fate saga

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#stray kids #skz #pregnant!reader #hyunjin #hyunjin angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x reader #mom!reader #dad!skz #dad!stray kids #bangchan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #felix lee x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz angst #skz fluff #skz scenarios #i.n x reader #stray kids au #skz au #stray kids series #skz series #jisung x reader #dad!hyunjin #hyunjin x pregnant!reader

[keilemlucent]

lavender latte: vi

(T (for now!))

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

chapter 1   ||   chapter 2  ||   chapter 3   ||  chapter 4   ||   chapter 5   ||  chapter 7  ||

masterlist

word count: 6.8k

finally. god.  

warnings: none really! reader’s foot booted, but that’s about it.

---

well. here we are. thank u to everyone for reading this sweet, sweet story. we’re not through it yet, but i’m happy to offer a meal with this chapter. enjoy lovies. beta’ed by the lovely love @keiqos​. 

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You had several problems after returning to your apartment from the hospital. One of your coworkers was nice enough to drive you and your things back, but quickly the niceties stopped and your vague hell began.

Exclusively being on crutches sucked. Navigating your apartment and trying to live somewhat normally was a massive pain. Even just showering was a task that sapped most of your energy. Standing one-legged and balancing made your body ache with a deep soreness, especially the first few days you returned.

This was not even to mention the unpleasant dreams you were having.

‘Unpleasant’ & ‘dreams’ were a nice way of putting it.

You could recall that during your first night in the hospital, one of your doctors told you of the possibility of experiencing a few post-traumatic symptoms. Considering how out of it you were at the time, it was unsurprising how you brushed it off.

The reality was much harder to ignore.

...

Cars revving.

Shouting.

Shattering—

 Your eyes flashed open, chest heaving and brow covered in a fine sheen of sweat. 

Fuck that.

It was the same dream, an obvious recreation of the stimuli of the event. Though it was scattered in your memory, the dreams made it horribly vivid and vibrant despite lacking detail. The sounds and smells of that day clung to you as you shook your head, forcing yourself into wakefulness. 

Your comforter was thrown from your body, and you shivered as cold air rushed over you. As jarred as you were, you still swung your legs off the bed, readjusting your boot and your aching leg, half-heartedly glaring at your crutches.

Your apartment wasn’t terribly set up to get around with your limited mobility, but your difficulty functioning didn’t help your overall mental state. Everything was just harder with the boot on, and you did your best to work with it. 

Being locked up in your apartment added to the hellishness of it. You were so used to the stimuli and social environment of the teashop, it felt like a cold water shock when you were confined to your home entirely alone except for your cats.   

You could, of course, try and venture out into the world. But, it was still winter and the ice-covered sidewalks didn’t seem like the best place to try and crutch around. 

Within the first day or two, you resigned yourself to your three-week fate of being holed up. 

You had a laundry list of things you could do. Shows and movies to watch, places in your house to clean, your cats to pet, but—

You still had far too much time on your hands.

A lot of your newfound time in the first few days was spent on your back, leg propped up, and draped in ice bags, musing over Hawks.

Hawks.

Holy fuck.

You couldn’t avoid it, couldn’t stop it. Just thinking about him made every part of you swirl and thrum like you were listening to some sort of contently-chorded song and you were more than happy to play it on repeat until your ears bled. Maybe that feeling towards Hawks had always been there (it had), but now you accepted it and stopped holding yourself back as much.

You never thought the idea of someone squeezing your shoulder would send you into literal fits of giggles and butterflies, but boy, did it. Not to mention all of the careful touches and gentle words you two had shared in the aftermath of the attack, though the memories were hazy. What you did remember and cherish was the warmth of him, quirk activated or not. Each time you recalled it, your gut fluttered and your hands twitched.

Your ceiling was the most interesting place to look in your apartment. The plain texture was the perfect canvas to allow your memories of the sweet interactions the two of you had shared to play like comforting reruns. The commercial breaks of these daydreams were the texts exchanged between you and Hawks. 

 Keigo couldn’t stop thinking about you either.

It wasn’t as distracting as it once was, as he had been more liberal with letting himself text you. The high number of messages between the two of you was maybe ridiculous, but he was a fast texter and you seemed to have plenty of jokes and banter for him to share in.

As good as the texting was, it was also nice to check-in on you and your recovery. You seemed more annoyed than anything else, but Keigo wasn’t so much of an idiot as to think you weren’t in any pain or struggling at all. Though you didn’t explicitly tell him or show him, he was familiar with the pains of healing and could infer some things about your state. 

Keigo tried to brighten your day as he could. ‘Hawks’ still had plenty of hero work to do, especially with the information extracted from the recently detained syndicate members. Despite this, he took as much time as he could to stop and send you little snippets and messages which hopefully would help you smile a little.

 It did, of course. Just talking to Hawks did.

You had moments of awareness a few times a day where you had to remind yourself that, yes, (Y/N), you were just casual friends and deeply enamored with the number two hero and that sentiment was at least partially returned. 

You had a lot of time to wonder to what extent the feelings were returned. They obviously weren’t entirely one-sided, right? 

It was completely possible that they were, but you did your best to shake off the thought.

It was more likely that notorious bachelor and flirt, pro hero Hawks, just wanted a fuck with some feelings. To fuck with some feelings, right? 

Though, he did say that he cares about you.

But, you definitely can care about someone you only want to fuck.

You wished you had some sort of definitive answer. The murkiness of it all just made the sweetness of the past and the texts of the present seem a bit sour. 

Confessing to Hawks was daunting and terrifying. Not to mention, it felt a bit juvenile, all of it. People weren’t supposed to get melty crushes like this past high school, right? Especially not ones this deep on someone who couldn’t possibly feel the same as you, right?

 During one of these moments of uncomfortable clarity, your phone beeped as you rested on the couch. Despite not even seeing the message, you knew it would be Hawks.

You grabbed your phone, clicking open the newest message. 

 [birdboy]: hey hey angel

[birdboy]: look at this fucker i found

 The image attached was a photo of Hawks standing next to one of his own billboards, advertising some sort of sports drink. The photo had obviously been taken with a timer, the angle of the photo tilted as Hawks and the billboard were quite small in the frame. It added to the charm of the photo, the way Hawks was holding a feather blade to the throat of his own advert. You could even tell through the pixels he was wearing a wide smile as he did so, wings spread behind him

You snorted.

You and Hawks are just friends, you reminded yourself. 

 [you]: looks like a punk bitch 2 me dude

[you]: kinda uncanny resemblance tho

[birdboy]: i agree

[birdboy]: he’s hot tho

 You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you readjusted on the couch. You weren’t disagreeing, not at all. 

 [you]: not wrong

[you]: still, punk bitch

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: feelings = hurt

[birdboy]: please tell me the photo is funny 

[birdboy]: it took like five tries

[you]: very funny, im gonna save it and sell when im short on cash

[birdboy]: my publicist will blacklist u

[you]: i’d like to see them try

[birdboy]: is that a challenge angel????

[you]: a promise

 There was a break in the messages, though Hawks appeared to be typing.

 [birdboy]: unrelated but

[birdboy]: how are you doing?

 You paused, taking stock of your disheveled, sleepy self. You were only a few days out of the hospital and you definitely could’ve been worse off.

 [you]: im okay!!!

[you]: sore and tired honestly

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: i'm glad to hear its not worse at least

[birdboy]: ill send u lots more embarrassing photos 

[birdboy]: a million angel

[you]: my hero <3

 It all was surreal and mentally impossible to avoid.

You really, really liked Hawks and had for a long while.

             ...

 Keigo spent most of the rest of the day busy with patrols and work for the Commission, much to his chagrin. He hardly got a chance to text you. It reminded him of his reality as a pro, his fast-paced nature and how he truly couldn’t slow down, not at that point anyway. He had a brand and habitual way of being that was standard. Even for you, he wasn’t sure if he could slow down, even if he wanted to or needed to.

The idea scared him, pieces of his reality.

But, at the same time, Keigo hadn’t ever felt like this before. The weird, but incredibly alluring and comfortable heat in his chest made him feel like he’d do anything for you. Fuck, he’d fly to the stars and move them if he could, if that’s what it took. 

Maybe he even wanted to. 

Keigo couldn’t become a different person, for anyone, that’s not how things worked. But if getting closer to you meant... adjusting, he could do that. Easily. He was adaptable as all hell and he’d be glad to use it for something that made him feel good instead of hollow.

Keigo busily flew the day away. As the afternoon turned to night, the sky going pink and purple with dusk, he settled on top of a taller office building. It looked down on a street market, its smells and sounds wafting up to him on his perch.

It gave him an idea.

A good one.

 You were inspecting your fridge with a grimace. Balancing on your crutches and being counter-weighed by the boot on your foot made your angry stance a whole lot less intimidating, but it was the sentiment that counted.

Several days post-hospital had done a number on your food supply. The fridge was empty except for a few nearly expired items and condiments. The dry shelves weren’t looking much better.

The shrill sound of your ringtone from the couch made your jump, nearly falling. You teetered back over to it, eye-widening at the caller ID. 

 [birdboy] calling...

 Hawks had never called you before.

You quickly picked up the call, “...Hello?”

“Hey, angel!” Hawks was chipper on the other line. “What’re you up to?”

“Currently?” You hummed, turning forlornly to your kitchen. “Thinking about how I either need to order groceries or order dinner before committing to my couch for the rest of the night. Why? You don’t usually call.”

“I don’t,” Hawks’s smile was apparent in his voice, even through the receiver. “But, I had an idea.”

“Shoot.”

“I might just be near a super good takeout spot. How hard would it be for me to convince you to let me drop some food by your place? My treat.”

You didn’t reply for a second.

Stunned.

“Are you sure?”

“More than, dove. I’m off the rest of the night, anyways.”

Oh.

That gave you an idea—

An idea that would surely push the envelope of your feelings.

Let it.

“Okay, I’m in. One condition.” You bit your lip, willing your stomach to seize fluttering.

“You name it. This place is really good and—”

“I have been going a little stir crazy, and,” You cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut in anticipation, “how hard would it be to convince you to come over and stay awhile?”

Hawks was silent.

Your stomach dropped.

“Wait, I-I mean—” You stuttered, trying to gather yourself, but this time Hawks cut you off.

“Like, to hang out?” Hawks sounded shocked on the other line. 

“Yes.” 

You kept your breathing even and prayed it didn’t read over the call. 

“God, dove. I’d love to. I can be over in like ten—”

“Wait,” You fisted the fabric of your sweats. “Can I have a little more time? For myself and my apartment.”

Hawks chuckled on the other end of the line, “Sure, angel. Thirty sound better?”

You let out a sigh of relief, falling on to the back of your couch, “Sounds perfect.”

 Keigo decided to tease a bit, his heart pounding in his chest almost painfully. He knew from day one that you were bold, but this was a treat. He had to spare back, just a little.

“Though, dove, I’m sure you look more than perfect yourself. You always do.” He didn’t wait for your response, either out of fear of what you’d say or being a bit smug, he wasn’t sure.

Keigo hung up the call, burying his face in his gloves to try and stifle the blush on his cheeks, though it hardly helped. 

It didn’t have to.

 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 Thirty minutes later and you were mostly sorted.

You managed to throw yourself into the shower, tossing on something half-way decent, but still comfortable. Had to keep it casual. 

Crutching around your apartment, you picked up what clutter you could, mind spinning. Hawks coming over to your fucking apartment filled you with elated, and yet terrifying, anxiety. A few times while cleaning, you legitimately paused to muffle quiet screams in your hand at the prospect.

You felt like you were going to burst.

 Keigo did too, notably. 

He took the time to fly all the way back to his apartment, take the world’s fastest shower, and throw on some clothes other than his costume. Going back to get food, his hands shook as he handed the bills to the starry-eyed vendor who he’d just written an autograph for.

You’d sent a quick text just before he’d left with a description of your balcony, so neither of you would have to figure out how to let him in through the roof. 

As he flew to your place, Keigo felt like he was going to implode.

He didn’t ‘hang out’ with people. Nope, far too busy for anything like that. He was a compulsory workaholic, it was part of his mental brand of being (or, mental ‘branding’, maybe). The closest he got to casual time with folks was the preamble before a hookup or the time he had spent at the tea shop with you. Actually going to spend time with someone, casually, and it was you? It was all new and terrifying.

But, above all? Exciting.

The whole situation opened many doors, all of which Keigo pictured and picked apart as he neared your apartment. There were so many potential situations to appraise and plan for, he felt overwhelmed by it all. 

The opportunity to spend some... time with you outside of the tea shop was a necessity, right? Keigo’s original idea had been to drop off some food and banter for a while, but the idea of spending one of his precious nights off with you was so much better than he could’ve expected. 

Not to mention the warm bit of validation sparked by the fact that you asked him to come over, you wanted him around —

It felt nice.

So nice. 

 You paused, hearing telltale scuffing of someone on your balcony. 

Oh my god. 

He’s here.

Hawks is here.

You gulped, shaking your head.

Don’t you dare chicken out now. Commit, dammit. You’re just... hanging out. With your friend.

Yeah.

A knock on the glass pulled you to the door of your balcony, hobbling to slide it open on your crutches. 

Hawks was happy to push the door the rest of the way open, stepping inside with a bag of takeout slung on his arm.

Your mouth parched, seeing him once again in civilian clothing. Was it... normal to get turned on by the fact that he looked normal? 

As Hawks stepped into your humble apartment, wings tucked tightly to his back, you drank him in, hair ruffled with his clear visor placed on top of his head to push back the windswept front pieces. He wore a white sweater and black trousers complete with heavy black boots that were quickly untied and left by the door.

“You’re staring, you know,” Hawks interrupted your thoughts as you straightened up on your crutches.

Recover.

“Can’t prove that,” You tutted, crutching away from the door. “Also, welcome. Watch out for my cats, they might try to get a mouthful of your feathers.”

“Duly noted,” Hawks clicked his tongue, standing up and following you as you meander to the kitchen. 

 Keigo had to admit that your apartment was relatively... cute. He was used to his own, seldom-used digs. He had a big, uncomfortably nice penthouse with too many disused rooms and too much open space. Fixtures and furniture that were too expensive, probably, but it had been far easier to hire some big-name interior designer and not bother with dealing with it himself. Keigo had trouble keeping many ‘personal’ possessions, anyways. His training with the Commission made him almost revile the thought of keeping unnecessary, material objects, sans a few. 

Your home was the exact opposite. 

Maybe it was that he didn’t know how to have a personal touch that it made your cozy little apartment feel so full of them.

Little photos and artworks on walls or in frames caught Keigo’s eyes as he followed you to the kitchen. He took note of several blankets on the couch, catching sight of the plushie he’d given you at the hospital. Even the lighting of the apartment was personal, diffuse. With how easily overstimulated you became, it made sense that you’d keep your apartment so ambiently dim.

“So, first off, thank you for coming by and delivering dinner. I am eternally grateful,” You bowed dramatically, leaning to flail out a crutch at the motion. “Second, as payment, I’ll make you a drink. Maybe not with my quirk, but I have some of my old tea blends here.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Keigo shrugged, setting the takeout down on the counter while his ever-present grin nearly hurt his face from how relentless it was. “And tea? Show me what you’ve got. Or, should I trust you to pick one out for me?”

You hummed, clicking your tongue before moving across the kitchen to a different set of cabinets, “I think I’ve actually got a good one for you. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Lay on the details, angel,” Keigo hummed, leaning against the lip of the counter. 

 You did have the perfect blend in mind. It wasn’t too old, hardly stale. It would pair as well as a nice tea could with fried takeout, judging by the smells wafting from the bag on the counter.

“It’s one I made for a brunch we catered a few months back. It’s just a white tea raspberry blend, but it’s not delicate. It should stand up to any sort of food you’ve brought. Thank you, by the way.” 

Setting your crutches down, you started to push yourself up onto the counter without thinking much of it, booted-foot going limp off the edge. 

“Of course, anytime— woah, angel,” His voice choked as you wavered on the edge of the counter, off-balance. 

There was a short flap of wings and rush of air as you tried to rebalance, cursing the deadweight of your leg. 

If Hawks hadn’t been directly behind you, you probably would’ve eaten shit.

You turned yourself as far as you could, cheeks going hot.

Hawks’ face was just inches away from yours. That was even to mention the hands hovering around your waist, chest brushing up against your back. 

“S-sorry,” Did he just fucking stutter? “You looked like you were about to eat shit there.”

The words hardly reach you, you were too busy actively telling yourself not to stare at his pretty, plump lips because that is not something friends do. Not the can of worms you needed to open, right?

“I-,” You turned away from him, stretching up to the tea tin that had been out of your reach. “To think you’ve saved me from falling while reaching for loose leaf tea, twice.”

“All in a day's work,” His hands twitched around your sides but hardly shifted until you began to descend from the countertop. In fact, Hawks hardly moved away at all until you were situated back on your crutches.

You pretended not to notice the flush on his cheeks.

Maybe, it was a bit too close. Definitely too close, and bad circumstances, but god, you wanted more and more of him. 

You swallowed your desires down, cracking a smile. 

Be normal.

Be cool!

You shook the tin, leaves and dried fruit rattling inside, “So, cream or sugar?”

 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 The two of you ended up on the couch, picking through the several boxes of takeout that Hawks had brought. Most of dinner was spent bantering back and forth about one of Hawks’ newest modeling contracts and if it was ‘ethical’ for him to wear his own feathers for the sake of ‘fashion’?

“So, off-topic from insulting my employment ethics, ” Hawks spoke while munching on a piece of chicken. “You surviving?”

“Barely,” You laughed, setting down your utensils with a huff. “I forget how isolation makes you go a little crazy. I’m running out of dumb shit to watch and even dumber shit to send you.”

Hawks snorted, setting down his own box, having had his fill, “I know you are more than adept at combing the internet for more good shit to send me.”

“I mean, maybe, but you keep sending me juicy photos of you being a dumbass. They’re hard to show up, you know?” You side-eyed him at the birdish tilt of his head.

“You don’t need to show me up, angel,” Hawks reminded you, some feathers packing up what was left of the food. “Though, it’s fun. You’re fun.”

You internally winced at the sentiment but forced the smile on your face not to waver.

It was a needed reminder.

This close to Hawks, you could fucking smell him. Maybe it was a little creepy, but you remembered it so well, after the villain attack. The scent of some sort of spicy cologne and old sweat, but it was hardly unpleasant. No, it was intoxicating. It made you feel almost fuzzy, as it wafted around like some reminder that Hawks and you were so close. 

You thanked the stars that the apartment lacked the stimuli to make your quirk activate on its own. 

Your couch wasn’t very large, and it seemed even smaller with how Hawks had laid his wings over it. They were propped up over the back, outstretched just the smallest bit to relieve some pressure. All the same, the massive feathers made you feel minuscule.

Even the way he was sitting was intoxicating and a bit gut-wrenching. It was casual, the way he leaned back against the far cushions, legs somewhat spread with an ankle over the opposite knee. The pose oozed a weird, untouchable confidence that you hadn’t seen in Hawks in months, maybe ever. At least, not directed at you.

Despite the warm nature of his words, he seemed guarded.

It made your throat dry.

 Keigo was quite on edge. He hadn’t meant to get so close in the kitchen, really, he hadn’t. But, seeing you dangling off the edge of the counter like that, even if it was harmless and mundane, made his entire body and mind react before he could think.

But, you weren’t in any danger. Even if you had been, Keigo would’ve been there to catch you. 

He’d put himself out of it, overthinking the whole thing. You were fine. Safe. 

The other part of his mind spun with how he wanted to be so much closer.

Feeling the warmth of your body, the lines of your waist, the thrum of your heart and breath so fucking close—

It was a lot.

But, he was well-trained and not going to choke. 

He’d shoved himself to the opposite side of the couch to you, keeping his boundaries up, strong as steel and hard as carbon. 

Of course, Keigo knew the feelings were mutual. That didn’t mean that none of this was terrifying in the same way that it was exhilarating. 

As much as he wanted to be closer (so much closer), Keigo remained careful. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was ruin something before it had even truly happened. 

 You sat back against the couch, repositioning your injured leg on the coffee table, “So, thoughts.”

“On?”

You didn’t look at Keigo as you replied, rather glared at your TV, “What to watch?”

“Oh,” You could hear the smile in his voice. “We’re watching something?”

“You tell me. I imagine you don’t get lots of time to do this sort of thing, do you?” 

Hawks didn’t reply for a moment, sitting deeper into the couch, “Not really.”

“Then indulge, tailfeathers,” You tossed the remote in his lap. “Anything, go for it. Go nuts.”

Hawks nearly put on watching a reality cooking show, before you said that that was off-limits, per an odd conversation from way back when where he had admitted to be hot for Gordon Ramsey. He had been a little too vague as to whether or not he would pop a boner from Gordon’s filmed degradations. And truthfully, if anything was gonna give Hawks a hard-on tonight, you were determined for it not to be competitive cooking TV. Maybe, just maybe, you’d rather it be you.

...

Eventually, he settled on some psychological thriller you’d never heard of.

 Keigo hadn’t either. 

He was glad that you couldn’t hear his heart in the same way he heard your’s pounding.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you crutch around, turning the already dim lights lower.

Calm the down, Hawks. 

Calm the fuck down.

He’d never even done this before. Keigo wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, even if it was as simple as watching a film.

It would’ve been simpler if the tension in the air was thick and foggy, clouding over his consciousness as he tried to focus on anything other than your nearness and how much he wanted to drag you into his lap. 

 …

 His feathers fluttered as you plopped back onto the couch, pulling a blanket over your lap and offering one to him.

He took it, settling it over his lap as the movie went on.

 You weren’t an idiot. You could feel the blood rushing in your hot ears as you fisted the blanket over your legs. 

Your mind spoke a lot louder than you wanted it to:

Just fucking do it.

 Do what exactly?

 The paramount thought that was causing anxiety to twirl in your gut.

Maybe, you could just tell him how you felt.

Maybe just hold his hand.

Maybe get fucking rejected because he’s out of your league and out of bounds.

Maybe even kiss him—

 You were torturing yourself, the movie just background noise to your internal dilemma.

You’d asked him to your apartment and Hawks had bought you fucking dinner. That wasn’t a lot, sure, maybe, but there were also the months of lead-up. 

There were all of the cold mornings and cheeky grins you gave each other in the waking coffee shop. There were the fuzzy jokes, the lingering glances, and the tight feeling you got in your chest whenever he graced you with mere eye contact.

It felt like you were already in too deep to not be honest about how you felt towards him. Fuck, you’d been in too deep for months. Every time you made him a damn drink, you wanted to just drink him in. You were all fluttering hearts and sweet smiles for him in a way that you couldn’t suppress, only squash in moments of such intense anxiety like this—

“Hey, dove?” It was Hawks, shocking you from your turmoil with a soft voice. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, I’m good.” Your reply was curt and clipped. 

Make a decision now.

Pull the bandage off, (Y/N). 

It’ll just be worse, the longer you wait.

Maybe Hawks did just want to fuck with some cute feelings, the seemingly longing looks be damned. Yeah, you liked him way more than for just a fuck, that was obvious and unavoidable. Besides, it’d be better to know than to not know, right?

 “You sure? If the movie’s too much, we can turn it off,” Hawks sounded genuinely concerned from the other side of the couch.

...

You committed, taking a deep breath and turning to Hawks. 

 “It’s not that,” You looked at the couch between the two of you, tracing the seam of the cushion. “The movie’s fine.”

“Then, you’re not feeling great for another reason?” Keigo asked, feeling each of your breaths and heartbeats like bass drums in his ears. He hides the shaking of his hands by crossing them over his chest. “You can talk to me, (Y/N).”

“Can I?” You asked, shaking your head and laughing at yourself. “Hawks, I need to do something really fucking stupid.”

Holy fuck.

Are they—

“What’s that?” 

His voice was smaller than he wanted it to be.

 “Fuck, Hawks,” You finally forced yourself to look at him, taking in his guarded posture and pained expression. 

Your heart sank.

“I just need to be honest with you.”

Hawks’s brow soured, lips twitching, “Go for it, dove.”

You laughed, maybe trying to soothe yourself, “It’s probably is just, so fucking stupid, all things considered.”

You ran a hand through your hair, biting your lip between sentences and willing yourself to just get it out—

 “Hawks, I like you. A lot.”

 He still didn’t say anything and you could feel shards of your heart drive into your lungs.

You forced yourself to look up at him, smiling with the slight release of tension in your sternum, however painful. 

“I know, we’re just friends, right? I’m just the barista and you’re my special, pro hero regular. I know I’m overstepping right now, but it feels unfair for me to not be honest with you.”

 Keigo already knew this, right? He knew how you felt, fuck, he’d felt how you felt. He just wasn’t prepared for the exploding and thrumming in his chest when you told him with your sweet lips and kind words.

Why did it feel so different when you were smiling at him like you were in pain and telling him so fucking honestly with your words?

It was the thing about you that he admired the most, that candor in your tone and the grin in your cheeks as you spoke so.

But, your smile was falling, leaving watery-looking eyes. 

“Hawks, I like you. Way too much for friends, and I needed to say something.” 

Keigo’s mouth was dry.

For the first time in so fucking long, he was genuinely speechless.

He couldn’t recall a time in his life anyone had spoken so earnestly to him, just you. Just you, you, you— casually, over and over again, you talked to him like he was something real and something to be cared for. It was subtle, but it was one of the many things that made him want you closer. 

Yet, despite all his bundled up desires, he was lost for words.

“I’m sorry—”

He stopped you, “(Y/N), please don’t apologize.”

“But—” 

“(Y/N).”

 Hawks’ voice was sharp. It made the expression on your face rapidly fall.

He looked at you with rapt attention, arms uncrossing from his chest.

He turned to you on the couch, feathers fluffed up and twitching.

Your nose stung as Hawks, all pretty golds and ambers, shook out an exhale and balled up the blanket in his lap.

“Hawks—”

“Why would you need to be sorry?”

Hawks looked at you with wide eyes, brow creased. His shoulders were... shaking?

Your head spun, leg aching, “... What do you mean?”

Hawks finally met your gaze, giving you the sweetest, saddest smile you’d ever seen, “Dove, you’re acting like there’s no way I could feel the same way.”

Every cell in your body stuttered.

“You’ve done it since we’ve met.”

Hawks scooted closer on the cushions of the couch.

“You’ve always acted like there’s just no way I could like you, give a shit about you—”

He moved a bit closer.

You couldn’t make yourself move.

“You want to know the truth?”

You creaked out a nod.

 Keigo couldn’t help the way he went to cup your cheeks in his hands, thumbs rubbing along the apples of your cheeks. You lean into his touch, just like at the hospital, despite the blend of absolute fear and confusion in your expression.

“How could I not care about you, dove?” And it finally came out. “I care about so much— dove, I don’t know what to fucking say.”

That made you speechless, lips parting just the slightest bit as Hawks continued, losing composure with his morphing expressions. 

He wet his lips, swallowing, “Dove, I’ve never—any of this. I-I don’t know what o-or how to say any of what I want to right now.”

You speak before thinking.

“Show me, if you don’t know how to say it.”

 The idea seemed so novel as Keigo ran a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. He met your gaze with the gooiest, sweetest look you’d ever seen in your life, “You want me to?”

“Please.”

It was all the two of you had wanted for a while now, right?

“If I kiss you, I’m not ever gonna be able to make this go away, am I?” Keigo was speaking to himself, just above his breath. But, you were more than close enough to hear him. 

“Hey, Hawks? I don’t know if we can make ‘this’ try to go away.” You grabbed one of the hands cupping your face, pulling it away, only to shakily press in your lips to the bones on the back of it. “I don’t want to anymore.”

“Y-you gotta stop being so sweet, (Y/N)—”

Neither of you could wait a moment longer.

Your arms wrapped around Keigo’s shoulder. In the same motions, he pulled you closer by your waist, dragging you finally closer to him.

He held your jaw like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because, truthfully, you were to him. The sentiment was shared Deeply. 

Your lips pressed together and the long-held tensions in your chests mutually shattered, dissolving in the honeyed touch of each other’s genuine attention. 

You angled your head perfectly, Keigo’s hand guiding you as his mouth worked against yours. It wasn’t a particularly steamy sort of affair, but by god, it wasn’t in any way chaste. Not with the tight grip and thumbing on your ribs. Not with the way your hands tangled in the soft (holy fuck, soft) hair at the base of Keigo’s skull. 

You both tasted each other's sweetness, craving more of it after denying yourselves of it for so long. It was white-hot, exploding behind your eyes, even as your quirk remained dormant. Keigo was honey and cream and smoked spices all dancing across your palette.

To Keigo? You were sweet, cool water over a hot burn. You were the heat of a hearth rolling over him on the coldest of days. He swears that in the first moments he finally got to be close to you, and over and over again— he finally understood how your quirk worked.

There was no way that finally feeling you, feeling you as he felt you, could be described with just five senses.

You pulled away first, gasping for breath and arching your back into him. You lingered as close as you could, pressing your forehead to Keigo’s while your breaths mingled. You didn’t dare stray far.

“Was that enough to show you?” Keigo asked, breathless. He kept a wide hand against your back, urging you with a bit of soft pressure to put your weight into it. You complied, settling in his hold as Keigo stroked at your hot cheeks.

You nodded, beaming up at him with that sunny smile of yours. It never failed to make heat burn through Keigo and god, did it feel good to finally let it unabashed.

“I take it, you like me too, huh,” You smiled, looking a bit embarrassed. 

“Very much, very much,” Keigo repeated, pressing a kiss to your nose (he’d always wanted to do that). “So much, (Y/N). I apologize for not saying anything sooner. This is just...”

“New to you, right?” You finished his sentence, thumbing along the back of his neck in a way that made Keigo just melt. “It’s been a while for me too, if it makes you feel better.”

“It does, dove. Thank you.” Keigo let out a deep breath, shaking his head against yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

 “It’s alright, same goes for me,” As much as you needed to adjust due to the angle of your recovering leg, you couldn’t make yourself do it. You were so wonderfully close to Hawks, you never wanted to move. 

“If we’re being honest, then I need to be honest with you,” Hawks met your eyes, his expression going a little dimmer. 

You braced for the worst. 

He picked up your shift easily, finally able to express how quickly he caught your mood after so long of being attuned to it. 

“Oh wait, no, (Y/N), nothing terrible, I promise,” Hawks rubbed at your sides. “It’s about the miel.”

“The... miel?” You cocked your head to the side, confused, recalling the drink somewhat hazily. “The drink I made you on the day of... the attack?”

Hawks gave you a tense smile, “That one, yeah. Remember how you said it was just based on your ambient feelings?”

“Uh-huh.” You let confusion lace your tone until it slowly started to dawn on you.

“You made the drink, ambiently, around me—”

Your eyes widened, mouth falling open, “Oh my god, Hawks, did my feelings for you get in the drink?”

Hawks graced you with a sweet, sympathetic smile, fingers tucking at the hair around your ear, “They did, dove. I’ve kind of known for a few days, it just hasn’t been the time or setting to say something. I apologize.”

“N-no, it’s okay, I totally understand,” You sighed into his grip. “I really thought it might be something worse.”

“Consider your worries assuaged,” Hawks hummed, eyes drifting to your boot. He deadpanned suddenly. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad does your leg hurt right now?”

 Fairly bad, considering. You were half on your knees, the booted leg twisted awkwardly while still raised to the coffee table. This wasn’t even to mention the arch of your back so you could be all that closer to Hawks.

The pain of the position was easy to forget; you were still shaking from kissing Hawks just once. 

“Uh, maybe like a seven, once I can feel anything other than how good you felt just now,” you hummed, grinning up at Hawks as his face went bright red.

The infinite pleasure you received, making him blush so sweetly. 

He shook it off, squeezing your sides, “Cute. Very cute. Mutually returned sentiment, but let’s adjust.”

You nodded but didn’t have much time to react as a bundle of Hawks’s feathers lifted you every which way, albeit incredibly gently. All said and done, he was fully upright against the back of the couch. With the support of a feather or two, Hawks’s arms tugged you into his lap. Your legs stretched to the side, the booted one immediately propped up by a feather-supplied pillow.

You both settled yourselves, blushing and leaning on each other now that you finally were allowing yourself to. 

Keigo fully wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight against him. One of his wings even shifted to drape over one his shoulder, sheltering the two of you in a canopy of a crimson. Keigo let his hands wander over your hips, not seeking anything more than blessed attention and heat. You gave it all to him, tucking your face into his collarbone, drowning in the scent that made you feel at home. 

Keigo pressed his lips to your crown and legitimately shuddering.  

He spoke to himself, so faintly and quietly, you hardly caught it, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

There was melancholy in his voice, but you were quick to strip it away.

You brushed your lips along his jaw, savoring the way he held you tighter, “I have too. Can we do this more?”

“Anytime, dove. Anytime.”

“Right now sound good?”

You withdrew to beam up at him as you were so good at doing, only to be smothered by craving-satiating kisses anywhere Keigo could get to. The sweet, high laughter that he dripped onto you made your heart burst all over again.

And you finally, finally fell into the other sweetly, warmly, and properly. 

||||||||||||||||||

taglist: @thepandapopo @hawksexual @sinclairsamess @darcia22 @inhalingsoysauce @yee-fxcking-haw

#salem writes #lavender latte #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #hawks x you #takami keigo x reader #takami keigo x you #takami keigo x y/n #mha reader insert #hawks reader insert #hawks #takami keigo #hawks mha #hawks bnha #im soft for this one yall #so soft

[writingtoforgetreality]

Saturday Night Special (Jensen Ackles x Reader)

[Actors-Masterlist]

Summary: Tonight would be your first time singing on stage. And if it were not enough, you wanted to dedicate your song to a special someone. Expressing your feelings was not one of your strengths but putting them into a song? That worked quite well.

Words: 2,339

Warnings: best friend!Rob, fluff, just a cute story with a lot of fluff, so much fluff, language, in this story you wrote “Song On Fire”, (Y/L/N) = your last name

Song used: “Song On Fire” by Nickelback

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Another Convention weekend. Another Saturday. Which meant that the concert would be tonight. And you had asked the Swain boys if they could squeeze you into their set list. Wanting it to be a surprise, you begged them to keep quiet for now. Practicing was done in a room separate from where the others were.

“You wrote that?” Rob asked after you handed each of them a page with the notes & lyrics.

“Yeah?” suddenly, you were unsure. “Is it bad?” now growing concerned that maybe whatever you wrote was absolute crap.

“No, oh my God, not at all. This is perfect.” he was still eyeing the words closely. “We got this, right guys?” turning around to shoot a look at the rest of the band, you saw all of them nodding. Releasing a breath you did not know you were holding, you took a seat next to them & started explaining what you had in mind for your performance.

“So, I thought that you could maybe do some backing vocals, Robbie? I think I’d be less nervous if you did.”

“Of course, no problem.” immediately being on board, the two of you arranged who would sing what. Billy, Mike & Stephen were already onto practicing the notes & from what you had heard so far, it sounded great.

“I hope I won’t mess up.” chuckling quietly, you prayed that tonight would turn out to be fine. Suddenly, Rob’s eyes shot up to yours, shock written all over his features. “What?” you asked him when he did nothing but stare at you.

“This is about Jensen, isn’t it?” he hit the nail right on the head with his assumption. Rob had been one of your closest friends & it was hard to keep something from him. A while ago, he picked up on the fact that you liked Jensen. A lot. Of course he teased the living shit out of you, but he always made sure that he was serious about one thing. That you should tell him how you felt. Every time, you had reasoned that he could never like you back. Besides, you were horrible when it came to talking about your feelings. Obviously, Rob was aware of that. But the lyrics in front of him were proof enough.

“It doesn’t matter.” looking back down to your lap to focus your gaze on something else than Rob’s face.

“Yeah, it does.” he started. “’Cause he’ll realize it’s about him.” stating casually.

“And why is that?” furrowing your eyebrows & snapping your head back up again. The man in front of you simply rolled his eyes at your question.

“I’ve told you a million times that he likes you, too.” before you had time to disagree with him, he kept going. “And Jensen knows about you liking him.”

“Wait. How?” eyes growing wide at Rob’s statement, you believed that someone had spilled the beans to him. Not a lot of people knew about your crush. And if Rob told Jensen, he would not be alive much longer to experience tonight’s concert.

“You’re not really being subtle about it, you know?”

“Am I really that obvious?” sighing loudly, you put your face in your hands. Great, you had been embarrassing yourself for the longest time & nobody had mentioned it to you.

“Only if you pay close attention. Which Jensen does.” Rob’s eyes showed sincerity. Maybe he was right. And if he was not then Jensen would not understand the song. Win-win situation, right?

~at the concert~

The last notes of the song were played & you knew that it was your turn to hop on stage in a second. Nobody of the cast had a clue about you singing tonight. Now, being backstage, your nervousness was awful. Your hands were trembling & you were scared that you would forget the words. What if you embarrassed yourself in front of such a huge audience? Yes, Louden Swain was there to back you up but still. You were the one who had to deliver perfectly.

“Thanks guys. Actually, we have a little surprise tonight. Well, it’s not so little. You guys know that a lot of the cast joins us on stage every now & then. For this concert, we’ll have a debut. Someone who has never sung in front of people before. But we know that you love her a lot. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) everyone!” Rob yelled into the microphone & when he finished, the crowd broke out into cheers. The applause was insane. Nobody knew that you were that much into music.

Taking a deep breath, you started taking the steps to the stage. The curtain opened enough for you to walk through & immediately, you were blinded by the bright lights that illuminated the stage. Yet, your smile was wide. Risking a look to the side, you saw the rest of the cast with shocked faces, all watching you. Jensen was in front & for a second, your eyes locked. In this moment, the cheering of the crowd died down & you remembered who you were doing this for. Him. His smile was enough for you. Billy nudged you slightly & handed you a guitar. Thanking him quietly, you walked over to the microphone Rob had already prepared for you. His nod calmed you down. He knew you would be just fine.

“Um, hi guys. This is weird.” chuckling, the audience soon followed. “Like, I know I’m confident when it comes to panels & all…but standing here, knowing that I’m about to sing. Well, let’s just say I’m a little nervous.” your voice was shaking a little & your fans knew that it was not normal for you. Usually, you were the one to crack a joke, to throw in a sarcastic comment. Right now, though, you were stiff. “Anyway, enough of that crap.” laughing shortly. “Y’all wanna listen to some music, right?” the audience agreed loudly, whistles & cheers could be heard all across the room. “You haven’t heard this song yet. It’s an original, I wrote it not too long ago & I hope you’ll like it. This is called “Song On Fire”.” waiting for Stephen’s sign, you started off the song together. Playing the guitar quietly. And while you shakingly made your way through the first few words, you gathered yourself enough to sing the rest perfectly.

The first words that come out

And I can see this song will be about you

I can’t believe that I can breathe without you

But all I need to do is carry on

The next line I write down

And there’s a tear that falls between the pages

I know that pain’s supposed to heal in stages

But it depends which one I’m standing on

 I write lines down, then rip them up

Describing love can’t be this tough

 I could set this song on fire, send it up in smoke

I could throw it in the river and watch it sink in slowly

Tie the pages to a plane and send it to the moon

Play it for the world, but it won’t mean much

Unless I sing this song to you

 When you sang these words, you made sure to look in Jensen’s direction & again, your eyes locked. This time for a lot longer. It was as if you two were the only ones in this room. Just you & him. Pouring your heart & soul into this one song. Hoping he would realize what you really felt for him.

 I’m dying to show you

This could end happily ever after

There doesn’t ever have to be disaster

And all you have to do is sing along

 I write lines down, then rip them up

Impossible describing love

 I could set this song on fire, send it up in smoke

I could throw it in the river and watch it sink in slowly

Tie the pages to a plane and send it to the moon

Play it for the world, but it won’t mean much

Unless I sing this song to you

 Rob’s & your voice blended together seamlessly & the band managed to make this song sound like it had been one of theirs. Like you had played it together a million times before.

 I could set this song on fire

Sing this song to you

I could set this song on fire

 Light this old guitar on fire, I’d still hear the notes

Drown the melody in water, I’d still hear its ghost

Sing it with somebody else, but we’d be out of tune

Play it for the world, but it won’t mean much

 I could set this song on fire, send it up in smoke

I could throw it in the river and watch it sink in slowly

Tie the pages to a plane and send it to the moon

Play it for the world, but it won’t mean much

Unless I sing this song to you

 I could set this song on fire

Unless I sing this song to you

I could set this, I could set this

I want to sing this song to you

I could set this song on fire

Sing this song to you

I could set this, I could set this

 The last part, Rob let you sing alone & as you belted out the last words, your eyes closed briefly. Only after hearing the cheers & the clapping did you open them again. Immediately, Rob went over & took you in for a quick hug. Whispering in your ear how proud he was of your performance. That you nailed it.

“Wow, guys. Thank you.” you were overwhelmed by the response of the fans. But your adrenaline washed away when you noticed Jensen no longer watching you from the side of the stage. Still, you had a smile on your face. There was no way you could let the people see that something was wrong.

“That was (Y/N) (Y/L/N) with “Song On Fire”. Let her hear you guys!” Rob urged the audience on & again, the room erupted into loud cheers. Waving before leaving the stage, your smile fell the moment the curtain closed behind you.

“(Y/N)?” there was not even time for you to drown in self pity when a voice yelled for you. Turning around, you were shocked to see Jensen jogging up to you. His hands went to cup your cheeks. Pulling your face closer to his, your eyes closed as his lips pressed softly onto yours. Was this really happening right now? Melting into his touch, you could feel yourself getting lost in the moment. Fireworks were going off inside of you. No matter how many times you had imagined this exact moment, nothing could compare to what you were feeling right this instance. When the two of you needed to pull away for air, you found yourself staring straight into his beautiful eyes.

“God, I hope this song was about me or I just embarrassed myself.” he whispered, afraid that someone else might listen in on your conversation even though you were completely alone backstage. A sheepish smile spread across your face & you interrupted his rambling by kissing him again. If you had known that a song was all it took for the two of you to take that next step then you would have performed on stage way sooner. His hands were at your waist, yours around his neck. Standing close to each other, scared, that you might lose each other. Which would never happen. Not that you finally found to each other.

“I’m sorry.” you started apologizing to which Jensen only furrowed his eyebrows.

“What for?” he had no clue why you felt like you had to say sorry.

“I’m really not good at this entire feelings stuff.” giggling at how stupid you sounded, your eyes shot to the floor.

“I don’t know, that was pretty damn romantic.” he joked & made you laugh with his words. True. Dedicating a song to someone was probably one of the most romantic things one could do.

“Jensen?” your forehead pressed against his chest. Arms tightening around you, he enjoyed having you this close to him. Rob had told him that you liked him & after paying more attention to it, he could see it, too. Yet, he was too much of a coward to do anything about it. Because he got incredibly shy whenever you were around. You could feel him humming so you continued. “I’m actually planning on recording the song. In the studio & all. Jason offered to help me.”

“That’s gre-“ you did not even let him finish because you had another idea in your head.

“And I wanted to ask you to be a part of it.” pulling away slightly to catch his reaction, you were surprised to find a shocked face. “Of course only if you want to. I get it if you don-“

“I’d love to.” his look changed into pure adoration for you. You swore that this man took your breath away by simply looking at you. All of a sudden, Jensen started laughing.

“What?”

“This is gonna be such a cliché story to tell at upcoming Conventions.” he was right. Honestly, it would make a good plot for a movie. Shaking your head at him, you hugged him tighter again. No way in hell would you ever let him go. It took you a lot of courage to take that step & you were more than happy that your plan was successful. You were glad that Louden Swain supported your idea. You thanked Rob for being a great best friend. Finally, Jensen & you had each other. And as much as you loved the idea of it, you were sure that the fans would freak out even more. They had been shipping you for ages. After all, you guys had a connection nobody else shared but everybody else noticed. You guys were bound to end up together from the very beginning.

Published (05/06/2021) by Cathy

✨MY Ko-fi PAGE✨

Tags: @peachescream06 (thanks for your support <3)

#Jensen Ackles #jensen ackles x reader #reader insert #reader imagine #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural cast #supernatural family #SPN #SPNFamily #rob benedict #louden swain #billy moran #stephen norton #michael borja #convention #saturday night special #sns #concert #Song Fic #song lyrics #lyrics #based on a song #inspired by a song #one shot #oneshot #writing #writers

[jojotichakorn]

my thoughts and opinions on "lovely writer": criticizing the critic

tw for discussions of age gaps, rape, and sex

before i turn into the mean and constantly dissatisfied archer that we all know and hate, i just want to say that i liked this show. i think it's great, actually! gene and sib are appropriately cute, the premise is nice, and the attempt at criticizing the industry is... well, an attempt, which is better than nothing. moreover, "lovely writer" came with gifts because it gave me my new favorite character, so you can't go telling me i'm trying to completely obliterate it or something.

besides, this specific post isn't going to get into analyzing the show as a whole anyway. i won't be talking about any irrelevant plot points, cinematography, sound design, or anything like that, though i could probably write a post just as long as this one about that side of things as well. however, i am here to specifically look at the problematic things that were both criticized by the show and included in the show without any criticism. i'm going to talk about the more serious side of things here, which means i'm going to get serious. and i'm going to be harsh. very harsh.

gene and nubsib: yes's and no's

overall, the relationship between gene and sib was a fair attempt at showing something complex, yet ultimately quite healthy, which i appreciate. there were some things i was especially glad about. the fact that sib dated other people before settling on getting together with gene, for example, makes the whole situation a little less codependent. however, as much as this show prides itself on not wanting to romanticize problematic relationships, there are at least two major problems with genesib.

the age gap (and why it was not needed)

i've tried my very best to give this entire concept the benefit of the doubt. at first, i was convincing myself that they were simply close childhood friends, then i was trying my best to believe that even though sib did have a sort of crush on gene (which sometimes happens to little children), gene only saw him as his younger brother, but eventually, the show gave me no choice, but to deem the entire storyline problematic, because they did their best to romanticize that relationship - from gene's dad seeing the "early signs" to the counting and kissing the cheek turning to counting and full-on lip-locking in the last episode.

i could go into how this could all easily be mended if little sib was shown as kind of obsessed with his older friend, but gene was shown as not being anywhere near interested in the kid. but the real question is - why was the age gap needed at all?

i've researched the age of the boys during the flashbacks to the best of my ability and it seems that gene is 11 and sib is 6 or 7. if sib was the same age as gene (or maybe just one year younger, but not any more than that), not only would none of it feel weird, it would also be quite appropriate to explore that first glimpse of romantic feelings some of us experience exactly around that age. i don't think it's necessary for sib to be much younger than gene (children can be just as impressionable at 11 as they are at 7, and as for gene being surprisingly nice and helpful and the other kids not wanting to play with sib, he could have easily been - for example - bullied by his peers instead, which would have the same effect).

moving forward to the present, i don't think the lack of an age gap would affect the storyline that much either. even if they desperately needed sib to be a university student, they could have that one-year difference i've talked about before, which is not as significant. sib could be in his last year of uni, while gene could have easily written his very first novel during his university years, which would actually make more sense (since that guaranteed him employment and freedom to write after he finished uni; and i would rather believe that he had time to write his first novel in-between classes than in-between shifts at work, which he would surely need to have if he started writing after finishing university).

so that brings me back to my initial question - why was it needed? and much like the show often does, i will leave this one up for your interpretation because i do not have any sensible answers myself.

the issue with sex and consent

"but archer!" - i hear you exclaim - "lovely writer is known for explicitly denouncing rape romanticization in bls, how could there possibly be any problems with consent here?" and i hear you, my dear reader. and you aren't incorrect, "lovely writer" is indeed very explicit at calling out bls for having rape scenes (and i do appreciate that). however, as i'm sure you know, there are different ways in which consent can be taken from a person, and there are different non-consensual acts that someone might perform. for example, there are many different forms of coercion, such as the person being persuaded until they feel like they have no other choice, but to say yes. touching someone or kissing someone without asking for permission are also non-consensual acts. i can go on and on, there are many examples outside of what so many people consider rape.

now, what if i tell you that though there (thank the gods) has been no rape present in "lovely writer", not all scenes with gene and sib are consensual? well, that's what i'm telling you because it's the truth. both the first kissing scene and the scene where gene and sib "try out different poses" have clear coercion in them. the entire "joke" of the scene before gene and sib's first time is literally built upon the concept of "a person is trying to run away from someone, who wants to have sex with them" and it is NOT funny. the later reveal of gene actually looking up how to have sex seems to be there on purpose, to show that everything that's happened is "ok" because gene was thinking about it. as a sensible person, i will only accept actual enthusiastic consent and not someone possibly maybe probably considering it. not to mention that right before having sex, sib asks gene one last time if he is sure, which is great, except it is immediately followed by "i'm not going to let you change your mind anymore", which - daily reminder - you are allowed to stop having sex at any point during the act if you start feeling uncomfortable with it. that's absolutely normal.

now the problem that we seem to run into here is that "lovely writer" appears to think that it's ok to push someone to the limit until they either finally agree or confidently and loudly disagree. the drama has repeatedly shown us that actually forcing someone to have sex is not ok; however, persuading and otherwise coercing someone, as well as taking an approximate guess of them wanting to have sex based on some marginally related factors, is ok. i would like to once again remind everyone that all of that is not ok.

one more issue i want to bring up in connection with sex is something i wish was common knowledge: it is NOT supposed to hurt during your first time. whether you are planning to have vaginal or anal sex for the first time, it should not hurt. and if it does, something has definitely gone wrong and you need to stop. you are not supposed to experience any pain or discomfort during sex, including your first time (outside of desired and therefore intentionally inflicted pain, but that's not what i'm talking about here). i have seen this misconception brought up many times in bls along with the other person "thanking the person who got hurt for bearing the pain to bring them pleasure" and absolutely none of that is normal. stop. please, just... stop.

criticism of the BL industry

there are certainly quite a few things i liked about the way "lovely writer" criticized the many problems that surround bls. i think they dealt especially well with the fan aspect. the breaches of privacy that are considered normal, the toxicity of social media that encourages people to comment on other people's personal life, harass and stalk them - all of that was shown in its full glory (or rather horror) and clearly condemned. it was also interesting to see how easily everyone around sib fell into the routine of having to hide genesib's relationship, just because "that's what's supposed to be done in these situations" - even tum did that without thinking twice.

however, i have not spent the past three years hating gmm for a show trying to criticize the industry not to focus on criticizing the production company and everyone professionally involved with the making of bls. don't get me wrong - they didn't completely overlook that side of things, but i found the way they approached it dissatisfying.

like yes, tum fights with his sister (aka sib's manager) and calls her out for her terrible actions, and the publisher (bua) eventually apologizes for what she did, but all of that feels a bit too... personal. i do not care about these individual stories. i care about you saying that the whole system is broken because it very much is. i wanted manner of death but with the bl industry, and instead, i got an "uwu the fans are demanding we do this, and our hands our tied" (which is a lie) and "uwu i'm just trying to make money" (which i mean... if you feel ok milking even more money than you already have by doing something unethical and immoral, then be my guest, but also go fuck yourself). besides that, i didn't see any criticism of tabloids or exploitative celebrities either (both of which we had examples of in the show), and that was kind of disappointing.

coming back to the fans for a moment, i also think that the criticism of real people shipping was entirely unsuccessful. we basically mostly got an "oh, what if this person's partner thinks they are actually dating", which... if a bunch of people on the internet who do not know your boyfriend personally and make all their judgments from screenshots and their imagination can convince you that your boyfriend is cheating, i've got some bad news for you and also a number for a therapist. partly i know why it was so complicated for them to get into it properly - the issue with real people shipping is an issue of privacy, boundaries, the perception of celebrities, acceptable interests, and many other complex topics. however, it's better to not criticize something than to criticize it badly and inaccurately (because the latter usually leads to even more encouragement of whatever you were attempting to criticize).

aey: the flamboyant villain

aey certainly starts as a promisingly complex character, but the farther we go from his backstory and his family, the less complex and the more evil he gets. eventually, the trauma he goes through is no longer enough to give him a get-out-of-jail-free card, and he loses all remaining sympathy after sexually harassing gene and pretending to drug sib. and i did start this post by saying that i am not to analyze any plot points or characters from the show here; however, i'm saying all this to prove a point that aey is a clear villain in the show. this is further cemented by the fact that by the end of the show he loses the only two people who cared about him, and the very last moment with him in the show is literally just him crying for about 3 minutes. there was no redemption arc, no pity, no revenge - he was left alone and broken, clearly punished by the narrative. and i've got a bone to pick here as well.

one of the first things that we find out about aey is that he is gay, and quite openly so. he is repeatedly described as very feminine by many characters, he flirts with men, he talks about being good in bed, and his entire character is built upon being gay (half of it directly, and the other half due to the fact that his entire backstory and therefore personality is also built upon the fact that he is gay). he is - for the lack of a better term - the gayest character in the show and the only one who is loud about being gay not because he is in love but simply because it is a part of him and he doesn't want to hide it. and he is the villain. not the disgusting publisher or the terrible manager - no, this guy was specifically chosen to ruin everyone's lives. and i can't say i'm particularly happy about that. *british voice* seems a bit homophobic love

not quite queer enough

as i said, aey is openly gay. gene and sib also eventually say that they are gay, gene's father teep is queer, so are tiffy and mhok. but it just doesn't seem to come up as much as it would in real life. the only time anyone has a problem with any of the characters being queer is when we deal with the parents. but knowing actual queer thai actors in real life, we are all aware how hard it can be for them, but it has not come up even once for aey, gene or sib (with genesib only being a problem because they are a "non-shippable couple"). being queer is far from being a non-issue in the industry, and i found it incredibly weird that it was never brought up (and i would also prefer if they brought that up instead of showing the unaccepting parents plot for the millionth time).

same goes for the lack of conversation around queer people on set. i think we all have a wonderful example of how much better a bl can get simply when it involves a queer director and/or screenwriter (gods bless p'aof), gay actors, etc. i also thought it was a missed opportunity that gene being a gay man writing a bl novel was never highlighted. if anything, everyone made a big deal out of him being a man writing a bl - never mind that he is a gay man that is far more qualified to write bls than a straight woman.

in conclusion, there are simply not enough queer issues talked about here for a show that is about queer people facing difficulties while making a queer drama.

tiffy and tum: the good, the bad, and the ugly

overall, tiffy and tum are quite cool. outside of my own personal feelings, i really liked the clear reversal of gender roles they have going on: he knows lots about make-up, she knows nothing about it, he knows how to sew, she knows how to repair a car, etc.

tiffy is also a nice addition to the precious few queer girls we have in bls. however, the way her being bi is executed... it isn't great. when she first talks about dating girls to tum, she says things like "even though i look like this" (implying queer girls have a certain look?) and "maybe it seemed normal because i was at an all-girls school" (which wtf does that even mean?). i think the worst thing, though, was when she assumed tum was gay. my best guess is she thought so because she initially thought that tum and gene were a couple; however, she should be the first person to know that just because he likes men, it doesn't mean that he doesn't like women or any other gender. even though there was nothing explicitly leading me to make this conclusion, this whole thing did kind of feel like the old "flipping the switch" stereotype (meaning, she used to like women, but now she likes men, and both of them can't happen simultaneously).

make it make sense

i think i've never been more confused in my entire life than when i found out that the director of "lovely writer" also happens to be the director of "th*arnt*pe". and if at first, i was asking a lot of questions about this peculiar individual, who went from working on the worst rape-romanticizing show we have ever had to a show that explicitly states that rape is not normal. but the more i thought about it, the less i was interested in him, and the more i was interested in whoever made the decision to hire him. there are dozens of different directors that have worked specifically on bls, and even more that haven't. yet out of all those, you decided to choose this one. the dude, who before your show has only directed the show with the biggest rape-y vibes. that casts a particular kind of shade on the entire show that i simply do not like.

conclusion

at the end of the day, i think what "lovely writer" tried to do was very interesting. it succeeded in some ways and failed in others. frankly, i think this show could have easily been made better if someone queer was involved in making it. that's always true, but especially so, when we try to talk about the issues of making a queer drama. either way, it's certainly a good start to this conversation; however - as i said - i'm still waiting for my manner of death but with the bl industry. this was unfortunately not it.

#it is here it is queer it has some controversial hot takes #archer speaks #lovely writer

[elspethc22]

Sciles breakup S5

So... I ended up down a rabbit hole of really old comments and arguments over on Archive of our Own yesterday over the Sciles breakup in season 5A. Basically, someone posted a story back when it first aired that was three sentences (stiles apologising to Scott and Scott saying ok) and then detailed in the author’s note how Stiles was completely in the wrong in this situation and Scott has nothing to apologise for. Wow, the comment section was INSANE!!! like people just went off on one another over this and who was right and who was wrong - some were in full agreement with the author, some absolutely on the other side and then those in the middle who thought both boys were in the wrong in different ways. 

So, of course, I spent the rest of the day and night thinking about this and what my opinion is. Here it is, for anyone who might care!

More than one of the comments (from the og author and others) were about how the whole series of events leading up to the fight were ooc, like Stiles covering up a murder (I disagree with this because a - not a murder and b - he didn’t cover it up per se, he left yes, but he called the police, Parrish just happened to get to the body first and Stiles didn’t know this so for all he knew Donovan could have survived and left) and not telling Scott, and that Stiles never actually corrects Scott or tells him exactly what happened (apparently him saying ‘I had no choice’ to Scott isn’t him claiming self-defence which I mean, obviously in court he’d need to say the words but in this context it kinda is) so of course Scott just goes with Theo’s version of events (which honestly doesn’t make sense to me, like Scott would just automatically believe Theo that Stiles was capable of cold blooded murder??).

Anyway!! I was thinking about the whole it was ooc for Stiles and they didn’t like the writing for S5 and a lot of stuff didn’t make sense. And that got me thinking about a lot of things in that season that were ooc, or more I guess like extreme versions of their characters? Like Scott trusting Theo so easily and thinking the worst in Stiles - and then I was thinking about their talk a couple episodes later when they go to get Kira and they say they wish they had stayed 5 more minutes and one of them says that Theo didn’t want them to. So... after ALL that... here’s my theory, for what it’s worth....

So, we all know that the Dread Doctor’s got to Kira right, and messed with her and triggered the darker side of her fox? But what if they got to ALL of them and messed with their minds? We know they can change people’s memories, make people forget them - hell, Valack wrote a book to try and remember them then apparently went off the rails, drilled a hole in his own head and got locked up at Eichen House. 

Think about it - Stiles knows what he did was self-defence, even if he wanted Donovan dead in that moment. He had a massive bite mark from being attacked and Donovan had made threats against his dad in public so logically he should have known people would believe him, even with his normal overthinking and anxiety. And then when Theo ‘saves him’ from Josh he agrees to cover that up and go along with Theo when he’s spent all season so far not trusting him? 

Scott’s asthmas starts up again and NO ONE thinks its weird! Scott knows his asthma disappeared when he got bitten, and that werewolves can’t get sick etc (it also cured Erica’s epilepsy) but then something triggers and attack, Theo is right there with an inhaler and suddenly he’s relying on it all the time. We know the inhaler had wolfsbane, but something triggered the original need for it. And for some reason, no one ever questioned why he suddenly needed the inhaler again which is not right. Scott never questions it, his mum, Lydia, no one!

Malia hiding everything about looking for her mum from everyone? I mean, she’s never normally shy about her willingness to hurt others if she needs to, or her survival instincts. So it does also surprise me that she would go to such lengths to hide the fact she’s still looking for her birth mother from everyone, even Stiles who never looked at her like a monster. Obviously she might have thought they’d try to stop her, but it’s weird for her to have got so secretive all of a sudden and also her sudden trust of Theo, she’s not a very trusting sort.

Even Liam - I know they blamed the supermoon on his rage induced attack on Scott, but even with that I think it was a little out of the blue for him to turn on Scott so suddenly but again, if the Dread Doctor’s were messing with him that would explain why he was so much more susceptible to the supermoon and then Theo there making suggestions about saving Hayden even when she was clearly too far gone. 

Then there’s Theo - no one questions how he always manages to find the right answer (except Stiles) like the book. How he just happened to turn up at the same time as the Doctors. Like everyone else, after some initial hesitation, just accepts him and the information he brings them. but then also, I wonder - it’s implied that he was always evil (he helped kill his sister to get her heart) but was he actually born a sociopath? Or was that the Dread Doctor’s too? If his sister was the only one who loved him growing up, and the only one he loved, he would have been open to manipulation. Also this could explain why when he comes back in season 6 he’s eventually more caring and is even eventually able to take someone’s pain - they credit his time in ‘hell’ and his sister’s spirit but what if it was also just finally being away from the dread doctors after so long?

Anyway, many of you may disagree with me, but there’s my long-winded theory of why season 5 was so messed up and ultimately why our amazing Sciles had that horrible breakup scene and why it was so heartbreaking.

(I also chose to ignore all the other arguments in the comments about which boy is a better friend and a better character. I love Stiles, he is my favourite but they both have faults, they both have their moments of not being great friends to each other but they’re also teenagers, and human! no one is a perfect friend)

#sciles #teen wolf #scilesbreakup #teen wolf season 5 #scilesfight #scott and stiles

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! CHAPTER 51 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

MC goes out looking for them, in the music room the record player starts on its own. MC ends up wondering the empty house on their own, ending up in the library. They reminisce about a conversation with the brothers where they were debating who the real killer of the OG HoL family was. With Asmo & Beel (Beel because he can never imagine family killing each other despite how bad things get and Oh Beel you Sweet sugar plum welcome to the human world~ it be like that sometimes) saying it was the servant, Belphie saying it was a stranger (cause the oldest and the servant are too obvious, and maybe the oldest wasn’t killed cause he was not home at the time) and Satan & Mammon saying it was the oldest brother (with Mammon defending his choice by saying that as they are always the meanest and nastiest it’ll be in an oldest brother’s nature, but also that in the story the oldest never got along with his siblings), Mammon’s argument makes Levi join team oldest. MC chooses who the killer was (it was the oldest c’mon! the guy bought a gun days before a similar model was used to shoot and kill his entire family, and he was seeing arguing with the servant the day before the murder). MC then gets a call on their DDD, and you can choose whether it’s from Satan or Simeon.

MC tells whoever calls what’s going on, while cats shriek in the background of the call (poor Simeon…) One cat is climbing and scratching Satan, Da Vinci and Michelangelo are fighting and the call is kept. They remember more times in the HoL; Lucifer trying to get Belphie to stop napping in the library cause it’s too cold and he’ll get sick, Asmo cooing over how adorable Belphie is asleep, Mammon & Levi arguing about money (Levi: give me my money back Mammon: Chill. Soon.  Levi: What’s soon? In 30s? In 1min? In 1min 30s? Mammon: is getting your money back on your bucket list and you’re wondering if you’re gonna croak soon?   I dunno I thought it was funny…), Satan yelling at them to find another place to fight cause he’s reading, Beel watching a gory horror movie and devouring snacks, MC is asked if they like horror movies. If they say they like it Lucifer says it’s good that they don’t scare easily, Asmo says they can handle any situation with cool and calm, Levi says they’ve already conquered 7 of the devildom’s most powerful demons so really what’s there to it, Mammon says that either way MC has nothing to worry about, Lucifer agrees adding that they’ll always have the brothers at their side (why is this so sweet?????). MC pines for them rn and tries to reassure themself only to satan to ask them what’s wrong and if they missed him that much (and this is the point irl where I would have taken the nearest solid object and chucked it at his head but MC’s made of stronger stuff)

Simeon is there as well and Satan is covered in powder (he’d been testing a new drink flavour which pissed all the cats and now he’s covered in the flavouring. Simeon says that wouldn’t have happened if there were no cats in the café in the first place. Satan says they are an improvement. Simeon – poor fellow – still has no idea why Satan thinks he wanted a cat cafe), MC screams wtf and they explain that Barbatos had dropped by and they’d asked him to portal them to MC and why hadn’t they done this in the first place? I mean ik they probably all wanted to spend time together via a mini vacation and all 3 of them are probably too scatter brained to think of Barbatos on their own but why did no one else suggest Barbatos? Barbatos had apparently being fuming cause he’d gone to the café to take a small break from his man-child of a boss and his other 24/7 duties only to be placed in charge of a café full of manic cats. Satan thinks being stuck in a cat café is heavenly, Simeon disagrees and says Barbatos will find a way to get back them. MC tells them calm the fuck down cause your brother and your son are missing! Satan says he is calm, heavily implying he was seconds away from losing his shit. Simeon changes the subject by saying that the imitation HoL looks like a carbon copy of the OG, Satan says the books in the library (where they currently are) are different to the ones back home and that the ones in this house are more to satan’s taste than the ones back home. Simeon notes that they all seem to be about art. Satan picks up an odd book out, it’s old and ragged with a picture of a pink geranium on it.  The title is Ma…14-31 with the middle part faded out. Simeon stresses that they should be focused on finding the others but both Satan & MC wanna open the weird book. Simeon manages to drag them away though to search for the others and come back to the book but when he opens the door out of the library they’re enveloped in a bright white light.

They end up in a brightly lit forest, with Satan wondering tf happened and Simeon saying he recognises the place, an unknown voice asks who’s there, revealing angel!Beel dncjndsjND is MC time travelling AGAIN!? How many times are they gonna fuck up history!? Also what about Satan!? Man’s gonna lose his shit!!? Also I desperately wish MC remembered their last trip to the past just so they could be like ‘lol hey guys long time no see’ and Satan & Simeon would just ???????!!!?? Beel (who’s a gate protector angel? Something like that) asks who they are and MC (who unfortunately remembers nothing) goes “Beel!? Tf you wearing” and he goes “tf are you”, Satan is stunned silent and Simeon soothes things over by being Simeon. Beel asks Simeon who MC and Satan are and he says they are his acquaintances – MC and Sully…….SULLY!! SULLY !!? SULLY!!!!? Out of respect to everyone named sully I won’t say anything, ANYWAY satan has the same issues with the name Sully as I do but Simeon whispers and tells him he doesn’t know if they’re in the past, in an AU or something else entirely so it’d be safer to keep the name ‘Satan’ a secret. Simeon asks what Lucifer’s doing and Beel tells him that he’s at the Celestial Palace, with Michael and the other higher ups which should include Simeon. Simeon says yes but “you see these two idiots here behind me are so fucking dumb they fell into a hidden pit and called me to rescue them because they were too fucking dumb to remember that as angels they have both magic and wings” Satan has the same issues with that excuse as I do. Simeon asks about the brothers, Beel says the same as usual. Levi’s holed up in his room cause he fears he’ll be made redundant with the end of the war (so this takes place around the same time as the last trip to the past). Satan mumbles about Levi being the same even back when he was an angel, MC asks whether Satan remembers anything from when his brothers were angels, he says he has broken fragmented memories from their times as angels because he only sometimes was able to see through Lucifer’s eyes (and I just realised how similar Satan and MC are? They’re both relatively newcomers to the family, biologically they’re nothing like the brothers and probably the rest of their species (Satan being born from Lucifer’s rage and MC having a fallen angel as an ancestor), they both accidentally became part of the family with Lucifer having no choice when all the others were picked by him, they’re both cool, collected and calm but hide destructive magic, from everyone else in the HoL they’re the more normal ones but are also up for stupid shenanigans, they’re both pretty considerate and seem to show affection through acts of service – with how they look out for the others and their needs and likes, neither are scared to talk back to Lucifer, neither have met any of the celestial realm higher ups or know the workings of the celestial realm, neither have really met Lilith, they both had some kinda beef with Lucifer, they were never part of the war between the demons and angels or part of the fight before the Fall, their few memories of the Celestial realm come from either what they saw through Lucifer or what Lilith showed them, they’re the only ones in the family who are biologically related to someone else who either is or was part of the family, they’re stubborn and hardworking, and because right after the Fall and after Lilith’s death I’d imagine Lucifer being broken and regretful of what he see as his decisions - fuelled by his anger - leading to her death and seeing Satan being created from all that overwhelming anger and pain…he probably saw it as everything he did wrong manifesting in the form of a person. As I said earlier I’m pretty sure Mammon’s the one who raised Satan considering he was the one doing a lot of the heavy lifting during the early days of the fall and Lucifer would only later come to acknowledge Satan, and as far as we know he’s only ever acknowledged that he’s technically Satan’s father twice and by this point after years of the two of them avoiding the topic Satan reacts to that acknowledgment with understandable anger but at some point right at the beginning I’d bet a much younger Satan wanted to be accepted and acknowledged by Lucifer, specially after all the others did so. What I’m trying to say is that MC and Satan’s initial relationships with Lucifer were probably similar too with Lucifer being mostly polite and even somewhat protective over them but also being distant and prickly while he tried to determine whether they were a threat to the rest of his brothers, while they resented him, butted heads with him and wanted to be acknowledged and accepted by him in equal measures after everyone else had already accepted them. Also in S1, specially towards the end, MC making pacts with the brothers became less about freeing Belphie and more about proving something to Lucifer – while Satan always seems to have something to prove to Lucifer. Overall, Satan and MC have a lot of similarities and a severely underrated friendship that I really wanna explore more of – I want them coming to each other for problems that the others won’t understand them having, to talk about the few memories they have of the celestial realm, to diss Lucifer, to talk constantly containing destructive power/anger in them, just I need more of them.  Plus would Belphie also have had issues with Satan, initially? I mean imagine your older brother coming to you and saying “so your little sister died in my arms but check out this other kid I just gave birth to”. I dunno Belphie’s grief and anger was irrational thousands of years after Lilith’s death when he blamed her death on the entire human race and you know not the people who actually shot the arrow that killed her (really need to talk about this too), so I can’t even imagine what he would have been like when the loss was still raw and not even a minute after her death Lucifer’s somehow found some new sibling for them.) Right enough rambling. Back to it. Beel says he’s looking for Belphie. Mammon turns up and asks who the shit MC and Satan are, Satan is once again speechless, Asmo’s with Mammon and calls the two of them cuties – poor Satan doesn’t like that one bit. Levi asks for their names and Simeon introduces them – Mammon seems highly suspicious of them, but Asmo accepts it in stride and says ‘Sully’ is an adorable name. Satan looks like he wants to throw hands. Simeon says that he has an idea where Belphie might be and that he & MC will go find him and has asks the others to look after Sully for him. Satan immediately protests but Beel agrees and Levi drags Satan along with them, while Mammon contemplates putting Satan to work to help with whatever they were doing which Satan complains more about (and isn’t this a topsy turvy world), Asmo helps to pull Satan along and Satan screams about where exactly Asmo is putting his hands – Asmo is merely flattered about Satan knowing his name. Satan screams for help as MC and Simeon turn to leave.

Simeon is giggling evilly about Satan’s face when they left him, MC notes he looked happy, Simeon agrees – shocked and freaked out but happy. Simeon said he didn’t leave him back just to be mean but instead because Satan was curious about his brothers’ celestial realm days. MC says “yeah sure you didn’t leave him just to be mean”, Simeon laughs and insists he’s “a nice angel” in the fakest way possible. Simeon says he loves the Celestial Realm air but that this doesn’t feel like the past. MC asks him what past Simeon would be up to – Michael and Lucifer were bossing him around and running him ragged, he says that hasn’t changed since then and that the both of them are sadists at heart who love making things harder for people (Luke vs Simeon’s view of Michael are so different it’s jarring but I also have the picture of someone who looks and acts like Lucifer’s complete opposite with a sweet, sunny personality hiding a cutting, cruel in the same was Lucifer is, even prideful person underneath it all. I just love characters who look and act kind but could and would murder you in cold blood if it benefited their cause),when he wrote TSL – he wrote it after the brother’s left cause he missed them. “No offense to Luke and Satan, who haven’t been born yet but this was the most fun period of my life,” says Simeon to a person who also hasn’t been born yet (also how are angels born? We know that all though there are lots of similarities between the Celestial Realm & the Devildom and Heaven & Hell they aren’t the same places at all, Lucifer refers to God as Father and I’m assuming the other brothers do as well but they’ve said before none of the brothers are actually related to each other, I always assumed God just poofed them into existence. But then how was Luke specifically born? Because it’s heavily implied that Michael is in charge of the Celestial Realm the same way Diavolo is, meaning God – like the Demon King – is probably maybe taking a power nap and Luke is only some hundred years old so he’s probably way after God’s time so how was he and all the newer angels created? I’m 100% sure most of the demons in the Devildom – Diavolo included – were biologically reproduced so did angels learn to do that? Does Luke have parents? But then Raphael saw a normal human party as immoral so, even after so long, I can’t see them promoting sex so then did Michael poof Luke? But if so wouldn’t Luke call Michael Father, the same way Lucifer called God Father? Or is there some cosmic magic energy that poofs out new angels? You guys ever watched that first animated Tinkerbell movie where she was still learning to be a tinker fairy? Remember how she was created? The little dandelion seed that was mixed with that gold glowing fairy dust & magic mixture until it spit out a person? that’s how I imagine OM! Angels are created minus the dandelion part. Swirling unknowable natural magic that mixes with emotions and cosmic matter it draws from its surroundings till it creates an angel.) Simeon makes MC stop and kick a tree as hard as they can (which they do without question) until Belphie falls out.

After Belphie is introduced to MC he asks if they’ve met before and MC very lowkey gaslights him for the sake of the already fucked timeline and Simeon tells him Beel is looking for him. (MC can also tell Belphie they live together and he now considers them a crazy person, unless they are the rat in the attic that’s taken a humanoid form in which case he’s gonna avoid them for the rest of eternity). Belphie says Lucifer had wanted him to do a job but he ‘lol noped’ outta there and now he’s recruiting MC and Simeon to help him with who knows what cause he refuses to explain when MC asks. Belphie is surprised that Simeon has two angels assigned to him and Simeon asks if he’s too much of a low level grunt to be given two angels and Belphie’s like “Dude you’re literally one of the highest ranking people here” and Simeon’s like “oh shit lol we’re in the past” and MC’s absolutely unhinged curiosity and unwillingness to let something go only strikes at the odd moment so they never bother asking how Simeon went from one of the most powerful people in the Celestial Realm to a low level grunt (fucking idiot). Belphie hears Simeon’s oh shit comment and asks what he said, Simeon lies through his teeth and MC comments on angels lying. Simeon gave us the whole white lies speech that our parents gave us at some point. Belphie insists that MC’s familiar and MC suggests in a dream, which Belphie takes cause when you spent most your time asleep reality starts getting warped. Belphie makes Simeon and MC carry 6 blankets, when MC asks what exactly Lucifer made Belphie do he says he made him go get blankets for 6 people & that Lucifer had just given them a list of stuff to get and none of them knew what for. Belphie says that Lucifer’s being gone a lot lately cause the prince of the Devildom keeps calling for him (and so this is definitely after MC’s first visit now and I loved the Devilgram about Lucifer & Diavolo’s first meeting but I need detailed backstory about every meeting since then, about how Lucifer started slowly warming up to Diavolo, how Diavolo was always in awe of him despite how much of a prick he was, how he slowly started doubting the celestial realm and seeing things Diavolo’s way, how he felt like the Celestial Realm was lying to him about how things should be, how he should be and that started building up his resentment and anger that would one day turn into Satan, how he felt more comfortable in the Devildom than he ever had in the celestial realm, how much guilt and anger towards himself all this made feel, I mean all this is briefly touched upon in the devilgram but I need it in depth pls someone come scream at me about this!) Belphie says today is Lucifer’s first free afternoon in a long while. Outside the door they hear Mammon yelling at Satan to catch something.

Outside Levi and Satan are trying to catch fluffy eggs (multi coloured eggs with wings), Levi calls Satan “Sully dear” when he tells him to watch his step which Satan takes great offense to. Satan makes a plan that leads to Levi catching all 6. Asmo comments on how despite just meeting they make a perfect team. They go to the brothers’ secret room where the others were making fluffy egg sandwiches on Lucifer’s orders until Beel let them escape. Beel says he didn’t mean to let them escape cause he only wanted to eat them and Mammon says that’s worse (love to see that Beel’s taken MC’s advice from their previous visit and is not trying to control his snacking). Mammon leaves MC in charge of making sure Beel doesn’t eat the sandwiches and asks Beel when he became so food crazy and he says lately he’s been getting more hungry than normal (I like to think that yeah this is Beel unconsciously following MC’s advice to give in to his urges but also Beel and the rest of the brothers unknowingly already starting their fall into being demons as they become more discontent living in the celestial realm during peacetimes). Satan tells Levi to put only thinner layer of butter on the bread and levi does so, Asmo says that there’s something about MC and ‘Sully’ that makes it feel like despite just meeting them that day it feels like they’ve all known each other much longer (I love how Satan just immediately fits into the group dynamics showing that even though he wasn’t there in the beginning he was always meant to be and how both this and last time MC’s just easily accepted like ‘yeah here’s this weird new angel they’re sticking with us now’). Belphie agrees saying he feels like he’s known them forever. Simeon asks MC and ‘Sully Dear’ if they heard that and that it seems like they all share a special bond. Sully dear takes extreme offense to his new nickname. Asmo tells MC and ‘Sully Dear’ that they’ve now been adopted into the family and that any attempt to resist will be futile. MC tells Asmo that it may not be possible. Belphie’s sad. Beels acts like they didn’t say anything and just repeats that they should stay with them. Mammon adds a ‘forever’ onto the end of that and that Lucifer will make it happen cause there’s nothing he can’t do (do you think if Lucifer stayed in the celestial realm he would have just kept on adopting random misfits and oddballs?). Satan’s daddy issues pop up at the mention of Lucifer and he says that even back then Lucifer was pompous with an over inflated ego (something I like about OM! Is how Satan’s deep issues with Lucifer are never resolved after one wacky adventure. They’re deep and old enough that it’ll take a long time to be fixed but progress is being made after each therapy session with Satan even if there’s the occasional regression. It makes it feel much more real). Satan’s annoyed enough about Lucifer that he doesn’t bother lowering his volume so the brothers end up staring at him silently. Probably shouldn’t have dissed Lucifer in front of people who think he’s the best thing ever. Period. Y’know since sliced bread probably hadn’t been invented at the time. Actually when was sliced bread invented? Wait. July 7 1928. Also apparently sliced bread is banned in the US? Is that true? Oh shit okay I actually read through the article and this happened during WWII and the ban was lifted 3 months later. Also it’s implied the saying “the best thing since sliced bread” originated from Americans pushing back against the ban. Look I don’t wanna start discourse about sliced bread but this one lady wrote to the new york times about how she had to slice 22 pieces of bread everyday to feed her family and like yeah I hate cutting bread too but like damn I’m not gonna write to the papers about it, some people are just so goddamned passionate but then again I don’t need to cut 22 slices of bread everyday – maybe I’d be passionate too in her circumstances)

Mammon, Lucifer’s #1 lil lapdog, says he has no idea what sully’s smoking to be talking about ‘back in these days’ but calling Lucifer ‘pompous with an overinflated ego’ is going too far, Satan’s dumbstruck by Mammon’s betrayal because despite everything Mammon’s always been there ready to badmouth Lucifer. Beel says Lucifer’s a good guy who always thinks about them and does what’s best for them (so it’s the same as now except he doesn’t try to hide all that behind 36 layers of assholery). Belphie says he can be easily misunderstood because he’s cold and blunt. Satan comments on everyone up here loving Lucifer (so it’s the same as now except they don’t try to hide it all behind 36 layers of assholery). Asmo asks why they wouldn’t love him when he’s their ‘beautiful, strong big brother’ and that they’re all proud of him (guys Satan’s seconds away from losing his shit and this is the last chapter dbksnkdsjksdnk next lesson the entire Celestial Realm gets reduced to rubble as Satan goes on a rampage rip). Levi says Lucifer looks after him even though he’s totally useless (he says it so casually too I don’t know whether to laugh or cry). Asmo & Belphie says they don’t know how well Sully knows Lucifer but if he knew him properly it’ll be impossible not to love him (honestly that’s true I hated him till we started learning more about him and now he’s my second favourite character! Guess who’s my first, I bet you can’t!). Satan’s absolutely dumbfounded by the suggestion. Simeon agrees with them saying it’s time to mend fences and maybe Satan can take the first step. Satan seems upset, realising that Simeon left him with the brothers in the hopes that they’d get through to him about Lucifer but then he gets pissed demanding if Simeon set up this whole journey to the past thing. Simeon denies it and tells satan to calm his tits. But Satan’s on a role now, asking if he’s doing it for the status, if he gets Satan and Lucifer to work things out he’ll get prestige amongst the angels which honestly makes no sense but anger rarely makes you rational so whatever. He goes on to ask if Simeon hoped he could control Satan, the same way Lucifer does (and hoo boy the issues. I like to imagine MC’s contemplating jumping out the window right about now.) Simeon tries to deny all of this but is cut off by Satan saying that Simeon thinks Satan needs to understand where Lucifer’s coming from and how he’s not so bad but that Satan doesn’t like Simeon telling him what to do and that he can’t believe Simeon created a whole illusion just to get what he wanted. And then he’s screaming about how if Lucifer is so precious to Simeon he should try being “Lucifer’s sweet, obedient little brother” (to be fair the idea of being micromanaged by your father who doesn’t even want to admit to being your father is very shudder inducing). The brothers obviously where no idea what the fuck is going on (MC has created a rope by tying blankets together and is now rappelling down through the window), Levi stutters and asks what Sully’s talking about, Beel asks if he and Lucifer have history, Satan looks shocked and sad for a second before he storms out (probably not a good idea considering what he is, where they are and when they are). Asmo seems upset he left, Mammon seems agitated and wonders wtf his deal was. Simeon says he hadn’t meant to set him off like that and that after all of MC’s therapy sessions Satan would have been more open to talking about everything but that he realises that Satan’s progressing at his own pace. MC knowing their job is never over (climbs back up through the window) offers to go after him. Simeon thanks them and says he feels terrible and will apologise but to spare Simeon’s head being ripped from his shoulders MC really should go smooth things over first. They find Satan in the woods looking sad and ask if he’s okay, he doesn’t reply. They can either hug him or take his hand. Hugging leads to a kiss there’s no choice (whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy let MC hug their friends and give the option to kiss or not instead of them both being to kiss). They sit silently together under the trees, holding hands and looking up at the Celestial Palace and this is the sweetest type of silent understanding that I love. After Satan’s calmed down he says MC can leave and go back to the others now. Just before they can answer they are confronted by Lucifer who asks them who they are and what they’re doing there. And that’s the end :))))))))))))))) Next Lesson’s either gonna be a long ass therapy session or a full out street fight can’t wait

#obey me spoilers #obey me #obey me! #swd obey me #my posts #my theories #shall we date? obey me! #obey me shall we date

[saturatedboy]

The Paw of a Lion (Ethan!Winters x Karl!Heisenberg)

Can be found on my AO3 (Use title above)

Word count: 4.2K

Chapter 3 under cut

Tick

Tick

Tick

Ethan, the blonde father, had bundled himself up in a thick cover he had taken off his bed in his new home. The night had only begun to take over, the rain storm outside had pattered against the roof and windows of his den. It was times like this that he had slight regret over the fact he could have just tried to convince Chris to place him and his daughter somewhere else. Maybe then this night wouldn’t be cold because of the timed heating system in place- maybe he just goes over and ask Dimitrescu if he could sleep over with Rose.

That thought he quickly shook out. As far as he was concern, he didn’t want to get too friendly with his neighbours. He still had his walls up, ready to attack if it meant his Rose could be safe. The father was already worried about the fact that his daughter would also ned to have tests run on her. The thoughts simple didn’t sit right with him, but it wasn’t like he could just straight up disagree with whatever the BSAA wanted to do. He was no match for any of them...or maybe he was?

A ring caught his attention, vibrating his thoughts out of his skull. Drifting brown eyes caught onto the rotary phone. ‘Heisenberg’ The father thought, a hand itching to grab the phone. With finger tips just glazing over the phone, he quickly withdrew his hand back to his chest and cradled it with the other. “Should I though?” He pondered out loud, watching as the phone carried on ringing. “To hell with it.” Ethan had reached and grabbed the phone before the ringing could stop. Reaching the phone to his ear, he held it and waited for the other to speak.

“Ah papa! Thought you would never answer,” The gruff voice came out, a little glitch but that was due to the rain outside.

“Yeah. I wasn’t going to.” The truth spilled out with Ethan moving to lay back against the armrest of the couch and pulling his feet up to rest on the cushions. A laugh came out from the other side, making a twitching smirk come up upon the young male’s lips.

“Ah, feisty as ever still. Relax, I won’t call you every night. More or less 6 calls at most a week.” Ethan rolled his eyes playfully, well aware the other couldn’t see but he liked to think he did. “Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why I wanted to call you on this fateful night.”

“Hm,” Ethan hummed, “It never crossed my mind but go ahead, seemingly you’ll just keep calling if I placed the phone down now.”

“That’s the spirit papa, I still have an hour and 25 minutes anyway! So, I want to learn.” It took a few seconds for Ethan to process the others words. ‘Learn?’ Why would Heisenberg, the fourth lord and creator of walking armed zombies want to learn?

‘“Okay...What do you want to learn about?” The line had gone silent to the point Ethan had moved the phone a little away from his ear and craned his neck back as though the problem would be shown. His body soon jerked up when the familiar voice had answered back, startling the man.

“I want to know your interests.” A simple answer, yet eerily uncomfortable to Ethan. He didn’t like the sound of that one bit. Licking his lips as a way to calm his beating heart, Ethan relaxed back in his position and sighed through his nose.

“And why do you want to know my interests now?”  

“Isn’t it obvious. We are neighbours, bond to be for probably the rest of our lives so we might as well start getting homely with each other!” A prompt scoff and click of the tongue came from Ethan as he changed his position, with a little struggle, to sit back straight on the couch with legs dangling off the front and back pressed against the back cushions. He rested his elbow on the arm rest and placed his head on his hand.

“I am not staying here forever Heisenberg. After these tests, I’m going back to a normal life with my daughter away from all this.” Unknowing to Ethan, Karl had taken much a liking to his protective nature. It was rather...tempting to mess with, to see how much further the male could go for his daughter- even after a close death.

A chuckle came from Karl. “Now, now Ethan. I’m sure you’re aware that we're stuck here till then. You’re different Winters, just like the rest of us. You really think they’ll let you go after some tests? We...what did they call us again,”  

“They called us bio weapons Heisenberg...”  

“Ah yes! We are bio weapons. Now, I’m pretty sure weapons aren’t allowed in your society now are they. So, Winters, are we really going to be free after everything?” A flash memory appeared in Ethan’s mind, back to the start of the day when his arm had been covered by the mould. How it didn’t come off, how it felt like it was stuck forever so him...the weird boiling sensation that washed over him.  “I’ll take your silence of you knowing I’m correct.”

“So, what!” The sudden snarl had caught Heisenberg off guard, making him take the phone away from his own ear. Even then, he could still hear Ethan’s voice loud and clear, a realisation that he had angered and frustrated the other. “Maybe I am some weapon but some of us have lived through a normal life for that to be taken off us. I may not understand half the shit you’ve gone through but dammit I could still be a normal person for all I know.” Ethan had stopped to take a breath. Luckily his voice being raised had not awaken the sleeping child but it did awake something else.  

“Ethan...” Karl asked after hearing the line go silent for a second too long. “I-I understand your angry at my words but-”

“AH FUCK GET OFF ME!”  

…

Karl stared at the phone in his hand. A long deafening sound came out of it, a single beep carrying on for generations ahead. Working up a cold sweat, Karl had slammed the phone onto its stand and grabbed his coat off the back of the chair he was sat on in his own small kitchen. Silently, he was thankful for still wearing his boots as he had rushed out of his home, knocking a plant that was on a table top inside the home on accident, then proceeded to stampede his way through the dirt road to get to Ethan’s home. He hadn’t even managed to get his second arm through his coat before he was at Ethan’s front door pounding against the wood. “For fuck's sake Ethan, Open up!”  

Pressing up against the door, Karl rattled the handle about only for the door to open with him falling in behind. The rain drops that was collected on his clothing had splattered amongst the wooden floors of Ethan’s home. Trying his best to get up and not slip, Karl had successfully stood up and chucked the door shut behind him to stop any more water entering the Winters resident. Bracing himself, Karl had steadied himself straight as he stood his ground and closed his eyes, trying to hear the man who lost connection. A quiet groan was heard from the left room closest to the front door. “Ethan!” Karl called, running in that room and looking about.  

“The fuck you-ack!-doing in my home,” Karl turned his sightlines to stare at the floor, he then walked around the couch to see the man he was looking for on the ground, turned away from him. Tugging his hat off, Karl placed the wet material on the armrest close to him and then settled down to the ground, sitting on his knees.

“I’m here because you randomly screamed and left. Are you okay?” Bringing comfort to someone was never and never will be Karl’s strong suite but hopefully his presence there will somewhat calm the other.

“It’s nothing. Just go back home,” Ethan’s voice came out as a whine, on the contrary it also sounded desperate. Karl looked down at his lap fiddling with his fingers. He furrowed his brows and snarled.

“I'm not leaving till you tell and show me that everything is okay.”

“Why would you care, go home Heisenberg.” The sneer that came back from the other in response to Karl’s words had him annoyed. He wasn’t going to sit here and let the man who gave him somewhat a freedom turn him away. He wasn’t going to leave Ethan no matter how many times the other will try to push him away. Making a bold move, Karl reached over and grabbed Ethan’s shoulder harshly, before pulling him backwards making the taller blonde male collide on his back. Karl looked down at the fallen male and loomed over him. Ethan had shut his eyes as his back had hit the ground, a hushed cry came from between his lips as he tightened his grip on his shoulder.  

“Ethan,” Karl breathed out, steadily thrusting his hand to hold Ethan’s as he tried to pry it away from his shoulder. “Ethan everything will be okay, just breath.”  

“What do you think I’m trying to do,” Ethan had opened his eyes and spat out his words, breathing harshly through gritted teeth. “Ow” He cried out, letting Karl take his hand away from his shoulder. Once removed, Karl peered down to see black taking over half of Ethan’s body, it was just beginning to move onto his wrist that was just seen appearing before the end of his pyjamas top sleeve.

“Woah, don’t you look a lil different.” The amusement in Karl’s voice sent Ethan over the edge. The father had raised his hand and made a quick slap on the others face before pulling himself back up and pushing his back to rest against the couch.

“Just leave. I’ll deal with this on my own.”

“Yeah, not going to happen.” The flat voice of Karl had Ethan turning his head with a scrunch up nose.  

“Yes, you will- ahm- leave.” Karl shook his head, growing annoyed at how Ethan had discouraged his advances of staying with him. Then, a great idea popped into the mechanical man’s head. Snaking an arm around Ethan’s waist, the Lord had brought Ethan to his side and held him tightly. His fingers dug a little into the thin frame of Ethan, rubbing soothing circles into his side.  

“Just relax. It seems whatever is happening is reacting to your emotions. Stay calm.” For once, just for this time only, Ethan couldn’t help but agree in his mind that Heisenberg was correct. All this happened after he lost his temper or was saddened greatly. He had to do this. Do this for Rose.

Inhaling deeply, Ethan tried his best to relax in the other’s grip. Going as far to even turn to rest his head on his shoulder. Together they sat, only a few sparks of quick pain passed through Ethan’s muscles. He felt like his body was trying to cave in on itself, but it wasn’t. He couldn’t feel it physically doing that, it was his brain telling him different stories. ”That’s it. See, being calm is good for you. Especially a lion like yourself.”

“If you carry on talking, I will bite your throat out.”

“Kinky.” Another slap, this one a little lighter, came across Karl’s chest. Realising that Ethan had hit a blow on him, he laughed at the thought that was behind it. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, luckily for you I enjoy a bit of biting.”

Ethan hit head against Karl’s shoulder, groaning loudly at his words. On the other side, Karl had bit his lip and scrunched his eyes up, holding back more laughter at Ethan’s reactions. ‘Gosh he’s cute’ Karl kept his thought to himself, gazing down at the other who seemed a lot more at peace with himself and not groaning in pain- but rather annoyance.  

Time passed, both of them sat in the same spots, bathing in the others presence. ‘Maybe he isn’t all bad.’ Ethan stared at the sleeping Lord, who was snoring loudly within his ear. Although Ethan wasn’t ready to fall asleep after all this, he allowed himself to settle next to the other. “You better not get sick.”

The next day had seeped in quicker than the father had wanted it to. All night he had been laid against the sleeping lord, who after the first bird tweeted, had wrapped both arms around Ethan and fell to sleep on his lap. Ethan had to use all his willpower to reframe from smacking the other awake, instead he decided to run his fingers through his mangled hair- being careful for the knots.

His eyes felt heavy as he drifted in and out of conscious. It seemed that over the hours the mould had once again disappeared. The metal man was right, he had to control his emotions better if he was going to protect his cub. He didn’t need to get worked up and harm her by accident. The thought made him shiver.

Just as his eyes had clamped shut, a bang against the wooden door had startled both men. Karl lifted his head up at world record time, his forehead colliding with Ethan’s chin. “Ow, what the- OH gosh. My bad” Karl scrambled out of his mouth as he moved away from Ethan. Ethan rubbed his chin, looking towards the other and hummed. They calmed their breaths before another knock was heard at his door.

Grumbling, Ethan rubbed his eyes and stood, making his way into the front of his home. Letting out a yawn, Ethan had swung his door open to come face to face with Redfield. “Where is he?” He simple asked, before barging into the Winters home.

“HEY!” Ethan called out, slapping Chris’ shoulder. “Don’t just walk into my new home, and what do you mean ‘where is he?’”

“Heisenbug Ethan. Where is Heisenberg?” Chris wasted no time to walk into Ethan’s living room, only to stop his movements at the doorway leading to the living room and cough loudly.

“Hey there.” A sheepishly voice said, no doubt feeling awkward with the situation.

“No time for sleepovers you two, get in the car Heisenberg. Your testing remembers?” Chris stood aside, letting Heisenberg walk past him with his hat on this time. Just as Karl saunter past Ethan, he tilted his hat down and winked, continuing past Ethan who rolled his eyes at the other’s flirty actions. He watched as Karl left his house, purposely jumping down the steps on his front porch and entered a black BMW with armed security- nothing like what Ethan had.

A hand was placed on Ethan’s shoulder, shaking him around. “What was he doing here?” Chris asked, looking into Ethan’s sleep-driven eyes. Ethan gave a shrug of his shoulders and leaned against Chris’ shoulder closing his eyes. Out of instincts, Chris wrapped his arms around Ethan and steadied his feet so he could support the weight of the blonde.

“Something happened but I think I know why now...” Chris hummed, a sign for Ethan to continue talking. Firstly however, he let loose a yawn. “When I get really...emotional, the mould takes over. However, it only takes over half my body so I think if I let my emotions come unstable...well you know...”

“So, Heisenberg came over because?” Ethan let loose another yawn and completely fell limp in Chris’ hold. Smiling a little, Chris placed his arms under Ethan’s knees and pulled him up into a bridal-position and took him back into the living room to place him on the couch.

“He came over to help me...” Silence held onto Ethan after that, the father on the brink of sleep. He first pulled his knees up to his chest and held them there, letting his eyes fully rest.

“Ethan, I just need to ask a favour.” Luckily for Chris, Ethan still had the energy to speak back to him.

“Hm?” He hummed, really wanting to sleep.

“We are going to need Rose for testing today.”

Oh boy.

Ethan was nestled next to Heisenberg in the back of the BMW with Rose wide awake bouncing on his leg. At the front was Chris sat in the passenger seat, looking at the front view mirror every few minutes to see his friend drifting off to sleep. When he turned to look at Heisenberg, he just caught him glaring at him. “Keep glaring like that and who knows, maybe your eyes will pop out.”

“Maybe your spine will pop out boulder-punching boy.”

“Will you both shut it, it’s the first thing in a morning.” Ethan had groaned, not wanting to hear anyone’s voice. Just sleep. He just wanted sleep.

“Your fault for not sleeping.” Karl had answered towards him, turning to look at Ethan but was instead met with Rose trying to grab his coat pocket. “What the- hey, your gremlin thing is trying to rob me.” He grassed out as Rose had successfully grabbed a pouch of money out from him. Everyone in the BMW had smirked and turned their heads other directions to hide their humoured faces.

Ethan looked down and smiled softly at his baby girl, going as far as to pat her on the head softly. “That’s it, we only rob from metal man. I’m proud of you Rose.”

“hey!” Karl argued back, pointing a finger at Ethan. “And here I thought you were the going to raise her to be good.” Ethan shrugged in return, gently taking the pouch from Roses’ hand and passing it back to Karl.

“She is doing good, stealing from you.” Karl huffed and leaned back, crossing his arms. Soon though, Rose had followed and did the same thing making everyone realise their laughter they were holding.  

“Oh c’mon!”

The testing wasn't all that bad luckily. However, Ethan refused to sleep whilst his daughter was getting blood samples taken from her as well as x-rays and other shots that a scientist had claimed it was only flu shots. He had his suspicions though. Another test was them pricking her finger, only to watch it heal almost instantly. It seemed Rose had gathered regenerations abilities, just like her father. “And that’s it for today. We may ask her back to see if anything changes as she grows up but for now everything seems to be good and stable. You’re welcomed to take her back home after you have your tests done.”  

Ethan held his daughter in his arms. Her cheeks were a little red due to crying at getting her blood sample taking from her, but it was only for her to cry because her body hadn’t experienced pain like he had. Holding her on his lap with one arm and her frail body leaning against his stomach, Ethan had shrugged his jumper off leaving him in a grey shirt. He placed his arm on a small table in front of him and watched as the scientist dragged a scalpel down his arm, only to watch mould leak from the wound and close it up. “Hm, interesting.” Th scientist mumbled, writing down on his note board and another one following doing the same thing. “You wouldn’t mind if we did a much larger cut would you?” They asked, smiling kindly.

“Be quick please.” Ethan talked, letting his eyes settle on Rose. The scientist seemed very excited to do so. They disappeared out of sight lines before returning with a much larger and sharper tool.  

“You might want to bite on your jumper,” they said as they placed his jumper into Ethan's mouth. Closing his eyes, Ethan howled as he felt the knife slide down his arm, digging much into his skin. For a second, he saw white, only for that to go and his vision came back. He looked down to see how much they just cut him, only to see that the mould had in fact covered the whole of his arm. “It seems to be protecting you. Write that down.” The scientist tried once again to cut through the mould, only to fail this time. “Well, we have all that we need at the moment. Be sure to check in every month for yourself and the child when we need her.”

“You’ll ask me first before going through my child.” Ethan spat out as his jumped fell onto his lap. He was quick to jump of the chair he was sat on and place Rose on it so he could place his jumper on. His hand was still covered in the dark green mould but at this point, he didn’t feel to make a big scene out of it. Pulling his jumper down, Ethan was fast to secure Rose back into his hold and walk out of his testing room. On the way out, he accidently bumped into Moreau.

“O-OH! Ethan...Thank you! Thank you so much. I didn’t know what I was doing then. Please- Please forgive me. I-I'm sorry!” The man called out, tears springing slightly from his eyes as he clasped his hands in a pleading manner in front of himself.

Ethan awkwardly looked at the agents leading Moreau for help. They all raise their arms in defence and watched from a far. Sighing, Ethan looked at Moreau and moved a hand to pat his head. Unluckily for him, it was his mould hand and Moreau saw it. “O-OH! That’s mould, right? Wow, you get cooler each time. I-I wish I was like you! No wonder why little-little brother loves you so much from the start!”

Okay now that caught Ethan off guard even more than the apologies coming from Moreau’s mouth. “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you.”

“I got to go! But I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise!” Moreau rushed off, following the agents as they led him away from Ethan. As Moreau was getting further out of sight, Ethan stood his ground alone.

‘Loves me? The heck, like, yeah sure. He’s shown that but loving...Nah, Moreau been watching too many romantic movies.’ He brushed it off, wiggling his fingers in Rose’s face. “I need sleep, that’s what.” He spoke out loud before walking down the same hallways as Moreau. On his way down, he had begun to walk with the Beneveinto group.

“OOoo, it's the father!” Angie squealed, waving enthusiastically at Ethan who walked right next to Lady Beneveinto by the elevator and stair case.

“Yeah yeah, sure. Hey, I have a question?” He asked, looking at Beneviento's veil. She stopped for a second and turned, nodding for him to continue. Angie watched from her shoulder, her eyes staring intensely out of their sockets. “Do you have a name...like a first name?”

“HAhaha! Of course, she does silly! It’s Donna! And you better call her that and nothing else you blondey.” Angie spoke for Donna, crossing her wooden arms over her chest and pointing her finger at him.

“What is it with everyone pointing their fingers at me today,” Ethan mumbled down to Rose before looking up and nodding. “Well, it’s great to meet you Donna. Hopefully our stays close by won’t be a problem in the future. I hope to get a long.”

“Me too,” Her voice was very quiet, nothing compared to Angie’s. At first, Ethan thought he was hearing things but the soft tap of her hand against his shoulder proved to differ. “Goodbye small one,” She whispered down at Rose before walking away, taking the stairs case down.  

For the first time in a while, Ethan didn’t have to force a smile onto his face. It came naturally and relax. Pressing the button on the elevator, the male had stood waiting for the doors to open. As soon as they did though, a sudden force he did not even notice pushed him in and the loud sound of something clicking made him turn, anger seething in his bones. “WHAT THE HE- Heisenberg!” The name fell from his mouth with violence lace within.  

“Hush Ethan, they going to catch us!” He breathed out, pressing himself to the back of the elevator watching as the doors begun to shut.

“Who is they?!” The elevator had fully shut, making Ethan panic. Here he was, in a small space with Karl right next to him and Rose within his arms.  

“Agents, armed people, that boulder guy. Quite a few people actually.” Karl begun to explain, looking at the father who carried an angered look.

“Heisenberg, which button did you press?” He asked, lacing his voice in a fake kindness and a smile dripping with the urges to kill the man in front of him.

“Oh, this one,” Karl hovered his glove hand over the button that said ‘Ground floor’. A sigh left Ethan’s lips as he rested his eyes. At least they were heading to the floor he needed. “I was going to press this bright red and shiny one though,” Ethan opened his eyes and watched as Heisenberg had pressed the button that said ‘STOP’ in large letters.

“Karl...”

“Yes?”

“You’re a very dead man.”

#Karl Heisenberg #karlheisenberg #lord heisenberg #lordheisenberg #karl heisenberg x ethan winters #ethan x heisenberg #Lord Karl Heisenberg #ethan winters #karl hesienberg #resident evil 8 #resident evil village

[ehehehelokidbyhiddles]

Okay, just finished episode 2. Just in case it's not obvious, there will be spoilers here. There will also be some opinions that you may not agree with. That's fine but don't come after me in replies about it. I'm allowed to have my own opinion on things and express that. This is also pretty long lol. Okay, with that out for the way, here are my thoughts:

I enjoyed this one much more than the first.

I laughed a little at Loki vs Miss Minutes. It was a bit out of character in my opinion but I can reason it that being stuck at the TVA (and apparently having to study) must get boring. Especially if you have a cheery little cartoon character hanging around.

Loki seemed a little more Loki-like in this episode too which I liked. The moment at the renaissance fair was good at first. I thought we were getting some 'old' Loki before the end bit. I know there will be people who disagree in my perception of Loki as a character (and that's fine. You can interpret him anyway you like but so can I) but he's over a thousand years old, not to mention the God of Lies. It's silly for him to let his manipulation be so obvious like that.

Unfortunately, some of the campy stuff was still there in his character (I cringe everytime I see the 'I'd never do it again' clip. People really find that so funny?). It was bearable though. He was less 'cartoon-y' in this episode, at least.

The interaction with Mobius was great for the most part. Hiddles and Owen Wilson have great chemistry on screen. They play well off each other. I still don't know if I trust Mobius fully but, at face value, it really seems that Mobius wants to believe in Loki and trust him. I feel like it could be a front though and he has his own agenda. I could be wrong though.

As silly as it was, I actually (and believe me, it surprised me too) enjoyed Loki's method of causing a scene in Pompeii. I think the reason it didn't bother me like the other silly aspects of the last episode, is that it shows how done Loki is with all of this while also trying to prove he's right. And really, how iconic Loki can you get than him grinning maniacally as a volcano erupts in the background. Very God of Mischief that we never really got see much of in the movies.

I was a bit disappointed with the fight near the end of the episode. It wasn't bad but it showed nothing of Loki's usual fighting style. Sure, he didn't have his daggers but he usually moves a lot more fluidly when fighting than he does in this episode. We could assume that Lady Loki infused her host's bodies with super strength (otherwise they probably would have died considering Loki's body weight is 500 pounds. That display he got thrown into should have been a bit more destroyed because of that, in my opinion) but still, Loki usually fights a lot better than what we saw, even when up against formidable enemies. I guess writing Loki trying to use a dagger on Thanos was a slippery slope to some weird combat choices. I won't go on because then it will probably turn into a bad writing rant.

Anyway, I was also disappointed with the Lady Loki reveal. I predicted that she would be the Loki that's killing the minute men but I had hoped she would look more like comic Lady Loki. Why blonde? It just doesn't make sense for her not to have dark hair too. That look is iconic. Blonde just makes me think of Amora, the Enchantress. I'm just going to have to headcannon that it's to help stay under the radar, even though that excuse doesn't work. She can do illusions, after all. So far, I'm really pleased with the actress that's playing her though (don't know her name, forgive me). Can't wait to see more of her. Ooh, I just thought of a what if. Obviously it's not the case because Loki would have reacted more when she revealed herself but it could have a been cool twist. What if Lady Loki was actually Sigyn, Loki's wife turned evil? It would have tied in well considering the next episode is called The Ex Factor. If anyone wants to write that fic, go ahead lol.

Last point and it is very nit picky. When Loki and Mobius go to one of the places, you can see their breath, indicating it is cold. Loki's breath shouldn't really be visible though, should it? The way I understand it, your breath becomes visible in the cold because your body heat is interacting with the coldness (or something like that. I'm not a scientist). Loki is a Frost giant and doesn't have much, if any body heat. We know that from the Avengers movie where, on the screen, you can see Loki's heat signature in the glass cell. It was freezing cold. I know, its a very nit picky thing and you can reason that Loki uses his magic to make his body less Jotunn-like (because we know how much he hates being one). Still, it was something I immediately picked up on.

All in all, I liked the episode. If the rest of the show continues like this, I think I'll enjoy it. Like I said, it was definitely a step up from the first one.

One final note before I leave you, we all have to appreciate how great Loki looks in the TVA uniform. Sure, I miss his usual armour but he does look very handsome (still not a fan of the hair)

Oh, almost forgot, I did laugh quite a bit when they were showing the different Loki variants. Especially the normal looking one with the trophy. It looked like someone dug out one of Tom's photos from his Eton rugby playing days. Please give us more subtle jokes like this.

#loki laufeyson #loki #tom hiddleston #loki tv show #loki tv series #loki odinson

[todomitoukei]

Killing & Morality

These two replies that I got in response to my post on heroes not being allowed to kill are questionable at best, but mostly just miss the point by a lot.

I disagree with the first sentence of the first reply. While it’s true that the villains overall have a different moral compass than the heroes do, but a person’s morality isn’t based on how they act. Rather, it’s defined as ‘a set of personal or social standards for good or bad behavior and character’ - and we can see in Dabi’s speech in chapter 290 that he is aware that killing people is bad, referring to this as ‘despicable acts’

Of course you can judge whether a person is behaving moral or not, but claiming a villain kills people because they ‘morally can’ is simply incorrect because anyone is capable of killing, regardless of their moral compass.

Though I slightly understand where this person is coming from in saying that a hero killing is different than when a villain kills someone, we generally also only see the League of Villains kill people in a ‘kill or be killed’ type situation, rather than them just walking around killing citizens as they please.

‘A hero doesn’t kill because they wanted to’ - is just showing how messed up society in the my hero universe is. Humans don’t kill other humans, not just because we generally don’t want to, but because we overall don’t have a reason to kill for survival reasons. The League of Villains is this sympathetic group to the readers because we are given reasons for their actions. They aren’t people who woke up one day and decided to commit crimes and terrify people; but rather they are people who have been failed by a society that has been idolizing heroes to the point of relying on them so much they don’t consider helping anyone around them, like little Tenko. It’s not that they just kill because they take joy in the act itself or the power one might feel from taking a human life. Being villains is their desperate attempt at surviving and creating a space in a society that has decided they are worthless.

‘Having to kill would be a burden on them’ - though we don’t see the members of the League regretting their crimes, please understand that the difference here is that the heroes live comfortably in society. Again, the League has to fight for their rights to exist, when the so called heroes around them didn’t deem them worht saving. They don’t show killing to be a burden on them because it’s either this or dying themselves.

The second reply is also a weird attempt at justifying someone killing another person? Question mark because, as many people have already nicely pointed out in the replies/reblogs, the story itself isn’t trying to justify Hawks killing Twice, so why are so many people in the fandom trying to defend him?

I am not entirely sure where in these panels above (chapter 191) you read ‘Hawks, you have permission to kill people’ but sure, his job was to act as spy and gather as much information on the League as possible in order to give the heroes an advantage to take them down. By being a spy, he was allowed to ignore casualties. But there is still a difference between letting a villain kill people - rather than trying to stop them and save the victims as a hero is normally supposed to - and being allowed to do the killing himself.

In the following chapter the flashback continues and Hawks says he is fine with corrupting himself for the greater good. Going back to morality, this shows us that even though killing and not saving people goes against his moral compass, he is okay with it anyway for the bigger picture, much like Dabi was okay killing people in order to show people the flaws of hero society.

Their end goal was to use the information he would gather to make a successful attack from the inside and outside. 

The last part of that reply is something that people constantly like to bring up in order to justify Twice being killed - saying that he was too big of a threat and thus Hawks had to kill him in order to avoid too much damage.

There is still damage, though. I agree that Twice’s quirk is incredibly powerful and dangerous. You can kill the entire League, but as long as Twice is around, they can be brought to live through him over and over again.

That doesn’t change the fact that Hawks went straight for the kill as soon as Twice refused his offer, when he as a trained hero should be capable to just knock him unconscious instead, which was the whole point I was trying to make.

Hawks made Twice an offer that he obviously would turn down and Hawks should have known this. Offering someone a second chance when the last time they were offered one it ended up backfiring would already make him hesitant and if this second chance requires him to sell out his family, the first group to take him in and accept him for who he is, then of course he is not going to accept this second chance. It’s the whole ‘I’d rather be homeless with someone I love than live in a house with someone I hate’ type of attitude.

Hawks never attempted to fight Twice. He immediately cornered him with his sharpened feathers and made him an offer he could only refuse and once that decision was made, Hawks immediately decided to kill him. There was no attempt at fighting him. During this, he put up a fight with Dabi, despite knowing that fire is his biggest weakness, yet he didn’t give Twice that same chance.

You are allowed to like Hawks - he is a fantastic character for this story to represent just how corrupt hero society is and just how much it can brainwash its own heroes and use them as puppets, much like Endeavor has attempted with Touya/Shouto. But the story itself tells us that heroes are not allowed to kill. I’m sure society is going to see a difference in this kill and a villain killing someone. That doesn’t make it right, either. And that’s the point of this story, that’s the point Dabi is trying to make with his speech. He is telling them that this society is corrupt and needs to make changes, because it’s unfair, because heroes get free passes that no one else would.

Hawks will most likely not go to prison for this, because he killed someone with a dangerous quirk during a battle. Still, he could have tried to fight him. Especially as Number Two Hero, he should be capable of taking down a villain without killing them, because that is his entire job.

To sum it all up with this fantastic Dabi quote:

#bnha #meta #291 #bnha spoilers #dabi #hawks #lov #boku no hero academia #mine #my hero academia #mha

[myfriendsarerealidiots]

Comparing Adaptations

‘Kay so I went on one of my whims again and did something stupid. Couple weeks or so ago, I wasn’t really in the mood to watch anime so I opened up Netflix and watched a Cdrama that I wanted to watch for a while now.

That Cdrama was ‘The Untamed’ which, prior to me watching it and doing said whim, I thought was just your typical historic Cdrama. Oh boy I was wrong. As I was watching it, I was thinking to myself, “This show’s really selling itself off as BL.” Which, I found out after finishing it was because it is BL. Hah...and that was just the start of it.

As I was doing my ‘Post-show research,’ I found out that it was based of a novel, called ‘Mo Dao Zu Shi’or as translated by the people on the internet as ‘Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation.’ Said novel had 2 more adaptations along with ‘The Untamed’ which were a manhua and a donghua. So me being me, I decided to watch the donghua adaptation and read both the og novel and manhua.

So how I went through this was...

The Untamed (2019)

The Donghua aka Anime I guess

The Manhua which I read while having class (such a responsible student aren’t I)

The original novel

All hail this person who has too much free time on her hands.

Anyways, as it says on the tin, I’ll be comparing the 4 adaptations/versions of the story and see what changes between them as well as the pros and cons. (Wow I sound so professional)

Some background of myself just to avoid confusion

I am not a mega hardcore Fujoshi. I don’t really enjoy reading smut, nor am I old enough to do so bear that in mind

I have 7 years worth of Chinese lessons under my belt which means I barely understand a thing and that I can get some of the jokes like how Wei Ying’s sword is called ‘Sui Bien’ and it’s funnier to hear in Chinese. In other words, compared to like actual Chinese people who live in China, I pretty much have the knowledge of a 10 year old.

The versions of the Manhua and Novel that I read were translated in English so somethings might have been lost in translation.

I have a bit of a goldfish brain so forgive me if I wrote something wrong or forgot the name of a certain character, most likely I will look it up to correct it but if I don’t...well sorry.

I am writing my opinions on each version as I finish them, so if they don’t link up to the original that’s the reasoning behind it.

All of these are my opinions and thoughts on the story. You are not entitled to follow them if you disagree. I personally believe that everyone has a voice of their own and they should use it. (Even though I don’t half of the time.)

Slight Spoiler Warning

I will be breaking down some of the scenes and characters for my comparisons so please keep that in mind.

The Untamed (2019)

As this was my first exposure to the story, I didn’t know what to expect. I loved everything about it except for the fact that literally half of the show was spent in the past, building context for what was happening in the present.

The characters were lovable and all had distict personalities, especially Wei Ying and Lan Zhan which I guess makes sense since they’re the main characters (their actors are also cute and have good chemistry.) Speaking of characters, Yanli has a more forward role in the story here compared to the other versions. The way certain characters were introduced was different too. Since it’s live action, it’s also harder to show things like extreme blushing and such so it makes Lan Zhan look very stoic and way more unexpressive here than in the other versions.

The soundtrack is nice to listen to, especially with the 2 mains singing the theme song together it’s so cute and gives it another meaning in itself. Although, I do wonder how that poor bamboo flute Wei Ying made in like 2 mins plays decent sounding music. Chen Qing(is this the name of it?), the flute he uses after his trip to the Burial Grounds has the same sound quality as that bamboo flute which is just, “how???”

They took out most of the extreme BL!!! I feel like that is the biggest difference between this version and all the rest. I know they did that to appeal to more people but it does remove some of the context to things. That doesn’t mean the moments that were kept in weren’t cute though. It did make the pair look more plantonic than romantic.

As for the story itself, as a story on its own, it’s nice, as an adaptation that’s where the line gets blurry but it leans more towards the good side. They did indeed change some things, made them work better with the medium than if they didn’t.

An example I can place is the mask. Where the other versions used white make up with oddly placed red circles around the eyes, this one used a mask instead. I agree with the choice they made, seeing as they removed the fact that Mo Xuanyu was homosexual and so the make up wouldn’t make sense. It also looks nicer than what I imagined what could’ve happened with they kept with the make up. They do make a reference to this in the show when Jin Ling and Wei Ying have a conversation in Carp Tower. “You’ve seen my face right?” “How do I know? Your face is always caked in make up or covered by that mask.”

Another issue I had which I’ll touch on later was the first episode—I had no idea what was going on for those 40 minutes of screentime.

Donghua

As of writing this post, season 3 of this has yet to come out.

My first reaction to this was “Man, the animation’s pretty, and they made Wei Ying look scarier.” Watching stuff at 12 in the morning isn’t the best thing but that’s what I do.

Anywho, this version made Wei Ying really attracted to going down the path of ‘evil’ compared to the other versions. I don’t really understand why they made this change...but they did so we have to deal with that. And his eyes glow red!! It makes him look scary and cool at the same time. I love it!!

The transitions between certain events were a bit weird to say the least. For example, at the end of episode 2/3 Wei Ying gets forcibly dragged into the Cloud Recesses and the episode ends there. By the next episode, we’re 16/23/13 however many years in the past. This makes it really confusing for someone who hasn’t watched or read any other version of the story. It definitely made me confused and I already finished one.

While ‘The Untamed’ told us everything in one long flashback, the donghua broke it up into small chunks placed whenever information was needed. I don’t think that was a good idea, but then I also think it was a better decision than what they did for the Cdrama. As I watched this adaptation, I found myself confused from time to time because what happened in the prior episode didn’t always match what happened in the current episode like I mentioned earlier.

As for the artstyle, personally, I think some of the characters look similar minus the hair. However, I do like the little ways they made Lan Zhan express his feelings towards Wei Ying.

Speaking of which, when I first saw them together in this version in the forest near the Goddess Temple, I had to do a bit of a double take because of the height difference which wasn’t so evident in ‘The Untamed’. I soon found out that Lan Zhan was taller than Wei Ying before and after he gets reincarnated(?) Prior, it was just a small gap of 2cm which later turned to 6cm after possessing Mo Xuanyu.

I didn’t notice their height gaps while watching ‘The Untamed’ because Wei Ying’s actor, Xiao Zhan, is taller than Lan Zhan’s actor, Wang Yi Bo by about 2 inches which is like 5 cm? and so they had to do some weird thing with platforms to make Xiao Zhan look shorter in comparison.

Soundtrack wise, I personally think that ‘The Untamed’ was better in that sense. Where it had an amazing souding flute, this one had minor earrape in a nutshell.

This version made itself, in my eyes look more like a historical fighting anime as opposed to the BL vibes I was getting from ‘The Untamed’ and the other versions. They added a lot of action scenes and made the mystery more interesting for me. Along with this, the overall look and feel of this made it seem like it came from a completely different source material.

Manhua

Small FYI, as of writing this post the Manhua is at 147 Chapters.

(I should’ve kept up the trend and got a screenshot from that scene in the Manhua but I didn’t so here we are with gay rabbits.)

As your local internet friend who reads more manga than normal books nowadays, I enjoyed reading the manhua and finished it in a couple days.

Compared to the first 2 versions here, these last 2 are both things that you have to read to get through, albeit one has pictures and one doesn’t.

While normally, one would read silently, I like listening to music while I do. And seeing as the OST of ‘The Untamed’ sounds really nice, I listened to it while reading both the manhua and novel when I could.

This one brought out the BL elements that were missing from the first 2. They gave Wei Ying and Lan Zhan a lot of kissing or just straight up affectionate scenes which I think ties in with the general theming of the original novel more.

As this one is probably the closest of the adaptations to the original, it’s the least confusing to read, although that might’ve been influenced by my experiencing the story for the third time at this point. I say that, however, there were many story elements that weren’t present in either one prior to this.

Examples this can be seen with their collecting of body parts that belonged to the former Nie Sect Leader. In ‘The Untamed’ they find the sword spirit which guides them through the rest of the story. In the Donghua adaptation, they get the arm, but also get the head of the the Jin with the hundred holes curse which was an original addition. Here, they get the arm from Mo Manor, find the other one then find the torso and so on before finding the head in Jin GuangYao’s possession.

The flashbacks in this version were also executed really well, in my opinion, as it doesn’t feel super confusing while reading it and it gives just enough information to help the events unfold. It also gives us a chance to see how much of an ass(sorry) Wei Ying was when he was the Yiling Patriach from his own perspective as well as give us a moment of WangXian in the middle of all that chaos.

Novel

Here’s a picture of gay rabbits for everyone.

At this point, I was switching between the novel and the Manhua to read whichever one I wanted at any given time which might have blurred my sense of what belonged in each one so I’ll try my best to make sure.

Since this one is the original source material, it was clear from the get go that this will be the one with the least confusing version of events and the most amount of detail.

I was surprised on how close the manhua and ‘The Untamed’ was to the novel. Although, the former condensed the mystery to fit within the timeframe while the latter hasn’t finished just yet.

Personally, I like this author, and will probably read more of her works further down the line. Even though the version I read was in english, I still could feel the meaning behind certain aspects which I think shows her skill as an author.

The novel clearly shows the mischief that goes through Wei Ying’s head and their gradual (I say gradual but I think Lan Zhan just snapped) change of attitudes towards each other.

Arc One- Mo Manor

Past here I’ll break down the first arc of each one because I think all of them did it in relatively different ways. Be warned for spoilers if you haven’t watched or read all of them.

The Untamed (2019)

Out of all of these versions, this one definitely had me scratching my head in confusion the most even after watching it a second time once I finished the entire show.

As the only version that had the curse issued at the start as a moving factor of the story as well as the Yin Iron which was specifically made for this version, it didn’t explain enough at the start.

There were many things I could say were wrong about this beginning, from starting at a flashback to not properly introducing us to our characters but the biggest problem in my mind was the lack of explanation at the present.

Like I mentioned, starting at a flashback is a terrible idea as it gives the viewer high expectations only for it to be crushed the second it ends. Here, it shows a small portion of the battle at the Nightless City without much context then it quickly changes to 16 years later with a seemingly random group of people.

Another issue is the amount of useless characters who were introduced. In the other versions, there were only 2 Lan disciples who were given names and were introduced properly while here there were more than I want to count. Add to that the one telling stories about the YiLing Patriarch and the weird guy walking around with a flag, and you got yourself total confusion.

Donghua

This one was slightly less confusing to watch. As it starts with a clip of Wei Ying commanding corpses which matches the overall feel of the donghua. The rumors that he died stretched over the time skip and we meet this version of Mo Xuanyu who is caked with make up, whether or not he was a cut-sleeve (gay) in this version, I forgot.

It fully explains the curse and instead of having a couple of Lan disciples just standing there watching, we get to focus on the 2 important ones, Lan Sizhui and Lan JiYing. It gives us a slightly deeper insight into Wei Ying’s mind, as he states ‘you got the wrong one,’ just after being reincarnated, indicating that he isn’t as vicious as painted by the first few minutes of the show. Like the other versions, they also show how he considers the cons of using his demonic abilities and that Sizhui would probably tell on him to Lan Zhan, meaning that Sizhui was a keen, observant young man.

Manhua and the Novel

As for the introductions, these two were very similar. Both have the rumors of the Yiling Patriarch across the screen as we get further down the story and meet our main character.

It gets the details from the Donghua adaptation and mixes it with more information to create a more detailed account of what was happening, also making this Wei Ying seem smarter compared to his counterparts in other versions. He also hesitates more on showing his abilities, knowing that he’s going to be caught if he does.

Final Thoughts

As of writing this, I’m only halfway through the novel but it covers the portion until where the manhua is currently at. I would finish reading it before posting this but it would take too long and probably make this post even longer than it currently is, which isn’t such a good idea. If I had much more patience and effort I would really like to break down each arc and their differences from one another but I can’t be bothered right now. (Sorry)

I can safely say that in terms of adaptations, ‘The Untamed’ is relatively close to the novel, albeit a very condensed version. As flashback filled as it is, it wasn’t very confusing to watch past the first two episodes.

The Donghua adaptation takes several liberties, going more of an action oriented route instead of the calmer more, I wouldn’t say love but character oriented novel.

The manhua is definitely the closest to the novel, so if you really don’t want to read a lot of words, and I mean a lot of words, then go ahead and read it.

What else do I have to say...if you’re new to the story, welcome, if you’re a veteran who’s been here longer than me, sorry for taking up space on your feed. And congrats for making it to the end.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #manhua #donghua #cdrama #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wei ying #lan zhan #fujoshi #comparisons #mdzs #wangxian #yiling patriarch #yiling lao zu #hanguang jun

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

so im once again randomly sad at 1:30 and honestly i hate it. i always seem to get really just down and upset during the early morning. (probably because i need to be sleeping) but this is stressful to be honest. im feeling a ton of guilt that i shouldnt even feel bad about. right, so we all know that im how old? a minor, and like.......im fine with that. im fine being this age. but like....i feel like im carrying feelings for things that dont even have to do with me. some people are like “yeah, i dont want minors interacting with my content” and for some reason, i always wonder if it has something to do with me. it doesn’t, but i feel this secondhand guilt for some reason, and it hurts. and i know it’s really selfish of me to do that, and im victimizing myself with this. i always obey the “MDNI” on people’s posts, but sometimes i feel like i did something bad. like with smut, specifically, i completely understand why people wouldn’t want minors interacting with that, it makes so much sense.

then i start feeling really upset about how i literally write smut, and read it. im starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me for having written smut, and had a specific audience read and react to it. i sometimes feel gross for just wanting to read smut. and a lot of the fandoms i read smut for may have the “MDNI” on it, which is fine, but after that, I feel this deep trench form, and it’s the worst thing. i just feel like im weird, and dirty for wanting to read smut about characters. and here comes the argument of me, a minor, reading smutty ass fanfiction about grown characters, in some scenarios. of course, i imagine myself older, above legal age, but that doesn’t stop the nasty feelings I feel. and with characters that are my age, or around my age, like with my hero academia, like sure, i crush on sero and everything, but i feel awful about reading smut for him. or even thinking about smutty things.

this also briefly dips into how i interact with my mutuals’ fics, particularly the smuttier ones. i think ‘oh god, am i being gross by interacting with this’ and i know that if they have an issue with me interacting with their fics, they would say it, clearly, and explain what needs to be explained. and i love that. but i always feel like im the weird one here, like im the odd one out, i guess because of my age. and i absolutely love and appreciate that they’ve created a safe space for me. it’s just an internal thing that’s really bothering me. and i absolutely love my mutuals as well. and i know that they also love and appreciate me, i guess i just feel that guilt.

and i know that it’s completely normal for kids my age, and teens to think about, and sometimes desire sexual things. and i know that it’s fine to explore those thoughts. sometimes, though, i just feel like im being a hypocrite. i. e. some shoes marketed towards teens, such as euphoria, and riverdale (off the top of my head, not biased) portray teenagers that might not be accurate. i don’t know what it’s like to be y’know present in a high school, and there, but for my own experiences, at least, i feel like it’s not true, or at least not in all of its glory. im like the outlier for a lot of that stuff. and i know it probably exists in some places, but i feel like this is how society views teens, and what they expect from us. i feel this odd pressure to be everything that society expects me not to be. and on some posts and stuff, i see what seems to be a bit of a disdain for kids of my generation, or at least gen z and i just kinda freeze and panic. i go “oh god, do they think this of me” “do they hate me” and i know that they don’t but it’s this lingering thought of “this is what they think of other kids in the same group as you”. i know it doesn’t represent the entire view but i just feel like i cant say anything, or bring it up. it makes me feel like im the problem.

anyway, i feel like i can’t do some of the things that i want because im scared of what people will think of me. like, sometimes i just feel hot, y’know and of course, send nice photos to a pal or two, but i’d never post that shit publicly. why, you might ask? because im a minor, and just because i feel nice about myself doesn’t mean that i need other ppl being gross about it. some people always say “these teens are always posting stuff all over social media. they share everything on there.” one, yes, we do, some people should know better. but also, two, this is new, people are being misled, mistakes are going to happen. plus, when you dont have that outlet to do other things, you go where you may feel safer to do something. it may not even be the best choice either. i agree that teens shouldnt post everything to social media, but i also believe that we should be allowed to make mistakes too? and have a bit of fun (where it’s morally correct, im not talking about driving people to suicide, or posting nudes (or semi-nudes on insta when you’re 13, that’s just wrong) anyways. i just feel like i cant do anything bc im gonna get shit for it, and further promote an agenda, but at this point im kinda starting to tear myself down about other people’s opinions, and that’s shitty.

also i feel like teens cant do shit in GENERAL, but that’s another conversation for another fucking day.

i always try to keep my opinions and everything at bay, because i hate when conflict is directed at me. and i dont like the panic of waiting for someone to text, or message me when i had what could be considered a hot take. i feel like i cant disagree, or think differently. or even sometimes just speak my mind because im scared of the repercussions. so i kinda just shut up, and stay in my little corner, and i absolutely hate that. but i also dont like being vocal about my opinions because of the fear that it produces.

and also sometimes some of the shit that people come up with im like......okay, i feel like i cant joke about. like when i talk about “MILF dennys” or “DILF buffalo wild wings” I DONT WANT TO BE A MILF, NOR A DILF. i dont even want kids, so ahaha. i say that shit as a joke.

kids, get future milf out of your bio, unless you put a “/j” or “/hj” after it. also, you don’t want to be a sex worker, or a stripper. im pro sex-work, but don’t look at that as your ONLY job option. that shit gets people killed, or tortured, and mistreated. if it’s a joke, it’s a joke, but it’s a dangerous choice, and it’s your grave bestie. and no, people contradicting you isn’t sexist, or misogynistic UNLESS IT’S LITERALLY THAT. people can be like “i think your opinion is a little harmful, ngl” and you can respond respectfully and be like “do tell, im open to  listen” and not go off about someone not supporting your choices. if it’s something that you can avoid, do it. IF IT’S ILLEGAL, DONT DO IT. like, prostitution is illegal where i live, so if yall try to do that shit, dont expect to be given special treatment. people already see kids, women, and sex workers as what? OBJECTS. you’re nothing to people who may be incarcerating you one minute, and calling you for a 5 minute hookup the next. it’s not empowerment to be on places, and letting yourself be groomed and taken advantage of by nasty ass people who need to be locked up. i understand that you should be able to do what you wan, and wear what you want, but there’s some disgusting people out here.

and it’s also the usual shit bothering me, the pandemic, school, my brother saying fatphobic stuff, yada yada. i want a HUG. and i need to sit in someone’s lap for god’s sake anyways.

im also pretty sure that it’s NOT normal to have this many extreme changes in mood. like i was fine earlier yesterday but as soon as i see one thing that hits too close, im upset so....anyways.

also yes i feel bad about this because i really need to talk to someone about these issues, instead of y’know, letting them pile up and haunt me until im emotionally unavailable because i hide my feelings. this is further promoting other people’s view of teens oversharing on social media. but to be honest, people are going to hate gen z, and teens for a lot of shit. and i cant stop them from doing that. i can, however, keep myself out of their line of sight and dont cause issues about it. anyways, im gonna go rewatch some invincible (wow 3rd time now). and try to keep my mind off of wanting to be in someone’s arms while we make out. :)