#caitlinmha

[mental-health-advice]

hi pls tag this as gg. so lately I've been on a self love journey about all of my flaws and shit i gotta work on to become a better me. one of my road blocks would probably be love. whenever there is potential for a relationship in my life i get anxiety and run. my parents relationship was awful and I think that may be something that messes me up. also the fact that i feel like if something worked out with me & someone else it would end up failing. any advice to stop running from love? thanks

Hi gg!

I’m really glad to hearthat you’ve been on a journey of self love. Self improvement and recognising yourflaws while still understanding that you’re enough is no mean feat, somethingmany people struggle with for years and I’m so proud of you! We all have roadblocksfrom becoming our best self, and working on them is a really brave thing to do butsomething which takes time. Please don’t put yourself under too much pressure,you are enough just as you are.

Relationships are reallytricky, especially when you’ve not had many good role models of relationshipsin the past. But there is also absolutely no rush in finding love. Love is notsomething that you can force, and it is not something you’ll generally findwhen you are actively looking for it. The best advice I can give you when it comesto finding love is to not let looking for it take uptoo much of your time. I’m not sure what your preferences are regarding datingapps, but if you’re going to have them, only have one and limit the amount oftime you’re spending on them. If you’re more traditional, do not go to places withthe intention of making a romantic/sexual connection, go there simply seeking funor human company. Live your life, enjoy yourself and occupy yourself with theother things that matter. When everything else is falling into place, love willfind you. Love is not about you being ‘rescued’, there is no time limit on it.Please trust me on this. Especially if you have things that you need to workthrough before being in a relationship, take your time. Allow yourself todiscover what you want, what your preferences are in a partner, and where yourboundaries are. Speak to people you trust about it, read articles: relationshipcolumns are often good for discovering what you don’t want.

It sounds like you’re havingsome commitment issues, and there can be a lot of reasons for this. A simplegoogle search about commitment issues will tell you a lot, so I’m not going todo the leg work there, you need to find what is relevant to you if that issomething you’d like. However, I think it may help you to know that anotherword for commitment issues is ‘relationship fear’: I feel this may resonate withyou far more. Commitment issues are what tend to cause you to run whenever youfeel a relationship is possible: often due to past trauma, which could includeworrying that you’re like your parents and thus any relationships will bedoomed like theirs, or low self-esteem: as soon as somebody is interested inyou, you lose interest out of fear of not being good enough, or due to abandonmentissues. This article is really, really helpful on this issue, principallybecause it covers a few hard truths. I would highly recommend reading it. Anxietysurrounding relationships is natural, however it shouldn’t impede you to theextent that it has and therefore needs to be addressed. With that said, makesure that you’re always comfortable and go at your own pace. Don’t forceyourself into situations you’re not ready for.

The last thing that I thinkwould be helpful for you is to work on your issues regarding your childhood andyour parents’ relationship. Obviously, I don’t know details but it sounds likeyou may benefit from speaking to a therapist about this, or if you prefer, workingthrough this with a friend or even on your own (but please don’t bottle thingsup).

I really hope this helpslovely,

Caitlin

#gg #caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #self improvement #self love #journey of self improvement #journey of self love #love yourself #learn to love yourself #finding love #love yourself first #find love #relationships #commitment issues #fear of commitment #relationship anxiety #anxiety in relationships #bf #gf #partner #boyfriend #girlfriend

[mental-health-advice]

TW RAPE Hi. So this isn't directly about mental health but it's definitely affecting mine, so I was wondering if I could get some advice: if my rapist is biologically female and identified as female when it happened, but now identifies as male, what pronouns should i use when talking about them? I feel like I can't talk to my therapist about it because she's bound to ask their gender and i don't know what to say so it's really messing with me. thanks :)

Hi lovely,

I’m so sorry to hear thatthis happened to you, I really hope you’re coping okay. I’m glad to see that you’vegot a therapist, that’s never a bad thing when it comes to taking care of yourmental health. However, its not so good that you don’t feel like you can talkto your therapist about everything. I’m sure we can help with that.

I personally think that thebest route to take with this issue is to explain that happened to yourtherapist, and either just refer to your rapist as “my rapist” or they/thempronouns, and then if your therapist asks, explain what you’ve just said, that theywere born a female and identified as a female when they raped you, but havesince come out as transgender, or started transitioning and use male pronouns.Your therapist has a lot of training regarding a number of different scenarios,this will probably not be something that phases them.

I think if the only thingthat’s stopping you from speaking to your therapist about your experience withrape is not knowing how to refer to your rapist without misgendering them, thatis something that is easily solved, just explain the situation as this could bereally beneficial for you. Although everyone at MHA is an ally for all LGBTQ+people, speaking to a therapist should be a safe environment and you haveexperienced something very traumatic, if you misgender your rapist in therapy unintentionally/withno spiteful intention, especially if you’ve explained the situation, to yourtherapist, then that’s okay. You need to put your healing first.

Best wishes,

Caitlin

#caitlinmha #mental health advice #mental health #rape #tw rape #rapist #tw rapist #misgendering rapist #therapy #tw misgendering #safe space #safe environment #therapist

[mental-health-advice]

I feel so dumb because i failed in one class is the second time i take this class and i totally failed, i feel stupid i feel i never gonna graduate from college, all my friends pass the class and now i have to take that stupid class for a third time. Please give some advice 😕😕

Hi lovely!

I’m really sorry for the wait for a response, I hope you’redoing a little better now. Hopefully I can help reassure you!

I know that it really sucks having to retake classes andexams, but neither of those things define your intelligence. It’s obviously aclass that you really struggle with, and that’s okay! We can’t all be good at everything;everyone has something they struggle with this much. For me it was Chemistry, Iloved it in high school and got 12 marks off full marks on the course, but whenat post 16 level I found it so tricky, I couldn’t even pass any of thecomponents! For ages I stuck at it, but in the end I had to drop the subjectbecause it was too much for me and it was bad for my wellbeing. I’m notadvising that you do that as I don’t know what the class is, where you are in theeducation system (or world for that matter), but there is absolutely no shamein finding something difficult, and it certainly does not make you dumb.

I know this isn’t necessarily what you want to hear rightnow, but it doesn’t actually matter if you graduate from college. It doesn’tmatter what your friends do, or what your family think. All that matters isthat you’re happy and you’re advocating for your own mental health. If this isn’tgood for you, there is no shame in trying a different route. Having said that,I have every faith that you will graduate college, you can pass this class, youjust need to believe in yourself and seek the right support.

The first thing I think you need to do is speak to your tutors,and possibly look into asking someone who has already passed the class toprivately tutor you/help you out. You’re going to have to work hard, and you’regoing to need support but with this, it could make so much difference to you.You also need to understand basic study techniques. I don’t know what yourstudying is like, but there are certain things you should know which I’ll go overin the next few paragraphs.

Time keeping is super important. Your brain can only efficientlyconcentrate for between 25 minutes – hour maximum at the time. Do not try to forceyourself to study for any longer than this without at least a 15 minute break.When you’re having a break, make sure to take yourself out of the area in whichyou’re studying. Similarly, start revising at least 2 weeks before each test.For your final exams I would recommend starting your revision a minimum of amonth before your exams begin.

Similarly, organisation is important. Rather than organiseyour revision by time, organise thematically, it really helps yourunderstanding. If you need more help with this, feel free to submit another askwith more details of the class and asking how to organise thematically, you arewelcome to ask for me to answer it (same goes for any of our followers).

Work out what works for you, this could be flashcards, mind maps,notes, presentations, or a mixture. Repetition is key! And try and organise theinformation in different ways each time, as this will help you understand it.Practice tests are also a really good way to revise.

Its so cliché, but attitude is key. You need to go into itbelieving that you’re going to try your best and that’s good enough, stay calmand collected, and don’t be afraid to take a breather. You wouldn’t have gottenthis far if you were incapable, you’re clearly smart enough to make it through.

Make sure you work in time for yourself too! Time to relax,plus 8 hours sleep and time to eat is so important. Working hard is tiring foryour brain, which makes your body tired too.

I really hope this has helped,

Caitlin

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #revision tips #failure #fear of failure #academic issues #academia #college #university #university tips #uni #high school #feeling left behind

[mental-health-advice]

Why do my parents think they can order me around?? I’m 22 still studying and living at home. I’m on my own wage and doing my studies and house work. I recently started earning money so, naturally, I’m getting piercings, changing my hair and clothing. My parents have the audacity to tell me I’m not allowed to go out in public or get a hair cut. I said I was going for a shower and my dad SHOUTED at me. I am NOT allowed to have a SHOWER because of my new piercings and my hair. Tag Jericho.

Hey Jericho,

I’m really sorry to hearyou’re going through this, that must be really tough. I’ve experienced a similarsituation quite recently, so I can empathise with how frustrating and upsettingit can be, and it can have a really detrimental impact on your mental health soplease take care of yourself and reach out if you need help.  

The first thing I wouldlike to say is that perhaps it would be a good idea to speak to your parents aboutthis. If you level with them like the adult you are and are able to have amature conversation with them, they are likely to have much more respect foryou. This can involve how rubbish this is making you feel, but should be donecalmly. Don’t give them ammunition to fire.

Secondly, are your parentsquite traditional? It may be that the piercings, hair and clothing are botheringthem because they see this as rebelliousness rather than a fashion choice, andif they’re having trouble accepting the fact that you’re an adult, there’s a goodchance that this is inflammatory for them – that isn’t your fault, but itsworth bringing this up in a conversation with them, invite them to share theiropinion without belittling you. However please know that nobody ever has the rightto tell you how to dress or put down how you look, the important thing is thatyou’re happy with the way you look and feel confident in yourself. Your dad shoutingat you when you want to get in the shower is probably an eruption of his ownfrustrations, that doesn’t excuse it but if you understand each other, you’remore likely to solve things, and having some space from each other could alsohelp.

Next, I know that you wantto treat yourself with your hard-earned money but would it be worth investingthat money into moving out of your parents’ house so that they have less awarenessand leverage of the decisions you make? This could really improve yourrelationship and help them see you as the adult you are.

Finally, if this situationkeeps escalating and having a negative impact on you, please consider if it isbecoming unhealthy, toxic or even abusive, and take action accordingly. We canoffer more advice if you reach that situation but it doesn’t feel entirely relevanthere.

Best wishes,Caitlin

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #tw abuse #tw parental abuse #parents #growing up #life issues #piercings #tattoos #alternative #indie #adulthood #student #first job #Jericho

[mental-health-advice]

An ex-friend purposely tries to exclude me out of my group of friends and is stealing my best friend. I don't want to be alone again.

Hey love!

I’m so sorry to hear you’rehaving such a rough time. Having personally experienced something similar, Iknow how much this hurts and I really do feel for you. Just know that youdeserve better than that, and no matter what you’re going through, you’re notalone. There are always people who love you, and will want to look out for you.Sometimes they are the most unexpected people, don’t be afraid to reach out.

Have you tried speaking toyour best friend about this? If they’re really your best friend, they shouldunderstand how much this hurts you and will reassure you in a heartbeat that theylove you and aren’t going anywhere. If they’re not a true friend, then yes thiswill hurt, but trust me, you are better off without their influence: friendshipis a two way street, you should both be valued equally, and that includes both havingequal willingness to reassure one another. Just make sure that in discussing thisother ex friend’s actions that you don’t come across as bitchy or jealous, andthat it’s from a place of self preservation, not spite. Now also may be a goodtime to branch out a bit and make new friends so that you have other people torely on, and also people that see your worth and treat you as such! The onlyother thing I can think may be good advice is to speak to the person who usedto be your best friend and try to make amends so that you’re on more civil terms,then all three of you can be friends and you can put it behind you.

Please know that your feelings are completely valid. Best friends can break your heart too and it’s totally normal to feel upset, let down, jealous and betrayed.

Hope this helps, lovely.

Caitlin

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #advice #best friends #friendship #exclusion #being excluded #ex best friend #ex #heartbroken

[mental-health-advice]

Sorry if this is kind of blunt but I think I have a mental/personality disorder of some kind and I was wondering if you do some of the things I do or have similar experiences? I tend to wave my hands around for no reason and sometimes my head/neck/body jerks around for no reason. Sometimes I have trouble understanding jokes and it seems to really annoy my siblings. I get really upset easily and sometimes i have long stretches of feeling angry/sad all the time.

Hi lovely!

I’m really to hear thatyou’ve been struggling, thank you for reaching out to us, that’s a really bravething to do. First of all, I just want to clarify that none of us are doctors,psychologists or any other professional, nor do we know you to really make anaccurate ‘judgement’.

The first thing thatsprang to mind when I read this was that a lot of these behaviours are symptomaticof autism or an autism spectrum disorder. Do you know if you’ve ever beentested or if this has been considered? Most cases of autism are diagnosed earlyin life however more and more frequently people are getting diagnosed in laterlife from what I’ve read. There is also a lack of girls that are diagnosed withautism in comparison to boys because in childhood, autism expresses less as ‘problembehaviours’ in girls than it does in boys and thus goes unnoticed. According toCRC health, these are the symptoms of autism in teenagers:

Difficulty interpreting social cues, such as body language,facial expressions and tone of voice – this can include not understandingjokes.

Difficulty empathizing and understanding other people’sperspectives

Repetitive behaviors or interests (e.g., head banging, armflapping or tip toeing) – this could be the behaviours you mentioned, oralternatively stimming behaviours which reduce anxiety.

Unusual responses to sensory experiences (including lights,sounds and textures)

Difficulty regulating emotions (possibly resulting incrying, self-injury, verbal outbursts, and disruptive and physically aggressivebehaviors)

Inability to make friends or engage in the “give and take”of normal conversation

Deficits in verbal communication and understanding language

Intense and persistent preoccupations with certain topics(such as trains or numbers)

Rigid need for structure and routine

Have you been expressing any of these? Depending on yourcountry, the usual path of diagnosis is to go and see your doctor, who can referyou to an educational psychologist who can diagnose you and recommend the pathyou take from there. If this is something that you feel you would benefit from,I would really encourage you to take it. I know in some countries it can beexpensive though, so you need to see what benefit you’d get from having adiagnosis and if this would give you more tools to cope.

However, these physical behaviours could also be tics. Somepeople with schizophrenia and bipolar disorders also experience involuntarymovements, periods of depression and anger, and be reactive. You can read moreabout the symptoms of schizophrenia here, and the symptoms of bipolar disorderhere.

I really hope this helps! Always here,

Caitlin

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #mental health acceptance #reaching out #autism #schizophrenia #bipolar

[mental-health-advice]

Submission titled ‘For Those Worried About Grades’

I’m a teacher in the U.S. and I have a few students who are always worried about their grades. I was sort of one of those kids too (to be honest, putting pressure on myself for the bet grades usually resulted in WORSE grades than when I just let myself be). I saw an ask about grades on here too.

I want to let you guys know, like I tell my students, grades don’t tell me ANYTHING about how well you can apply what you’ve learned to other context.

The classroom is only a SMALL fraction of your entire life so I have to think beyond that. If I can teach you how to use context clues, I know you can pick apart any word placed before you whether you’re reading a recipe or you’re designing a space shuttle. Because unfortunately, I can’t teach you specific skills for multiple careers and situations, some of which haven’t been thought of yet.

But unfortunately, as a teacher, I can’t properly measure that with a grade. I can only measure what I have in front of me.

So whether you’re grade is an A or an F, it’s not measuring the application portion and THAT is the most important part.

Hey lovely,

Thank you so much for caring about our young followers so much that you felt the need to submit this and provide this reassurance. As a current student, I can’t tell you how much we need to hear this at times and especially as (in the UK at least) revision season is about to start in full swing, this is a really important message.

I’m sure the students you teach really appreciate the level of support you provide and the understanding that they are more than just what they present themselves as in the classroom, everybody has a background, and that our grades don’t define our worth or potential.

Please, I beg you, in this particularly rubbish international climate for students, keep up the positivity and encouragement, we really need and appreciate it!

Caitlin xo

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #advice #mental health #students #encouragement #teacher #submission #grades #student advice #mental illness #students struggling #teachers supporting students #followers here for each other

[mental-health-advice]

Do you have any advice on body dysmorphia .I don't want to look it up as I usually over anyalse things and last time I tried getting information of the internet I broke down.i am a fourteen year old girl by the way if that helps and I want to fit and feel normal do you have any advice for me??? Thank you

Hey sweetheart!

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling but I’m really proud of you for deciding not to do your own research because rationally, you know this will be detrimental to your mental health/state. It may seem really insignificant but that’s a really important decision you’ve made just there, because it shows that you are still in control of your mental health, your mental health is not in control of you. Please know that I am not a professional, therefore what I am saying comes from my own research and experiences alone. 

Body dysmorphic disorder is classified as a mental health disorder in which the sufferer spends excessive amounts of time worrying about their appearance and hyper focusing on supposed ‘flaws’ that are unnoticeable to others or deemed ‘untrue’. For example, this could be your weight in someone of a healthy weight, or a small blemish/birth mark on someone’s skin, the shape of a facial feature, anything. This causes a lot of distress to the person, who may exhibit symptoms of anxiety and depression, isolate themselves and go to extreme lengths to try and alter the appearance of this imagined flaw, often leading to eating disorders and skin picking disorders, and very low self esteem. It can be treated by a mental health professional using CBT talking therapy, and sometimes a type of antidepressant called an SSRI. (source)

Sweetheart in terms of feeling normal and fitting in, here’s a little bit of cliche advice from somebody who’s about to sound like a grandma but I’ve been there: You’re still so young and you’ve got your whole teen years ahead of you. Right now it feels so important to fit in and feel normal, but the older you get the more you’re going to realise that it really doesn’t matter about fitting in with the crowd as a whole, as long as you have a few like minded individuals you fit in with and are close to, and I also know that because you’re a fourteen year old girl that can be difficult to find because all of your classmates will be trying to follow the crowd religiously, but please know that being true to yourself always comes before fitting in. As far as fitting in goes, you’re just as beautiful as the other girls in your class, just as smart and talented, with as much capability to achieve anything you want to if you put your mind to it. And as for feeling normal, darling there’s no such thing. But if you really want to feel ‘normal’ then keep an open mind, be prepared to try anything your classmates try, and be just as prepared to not like it (and don’t pretend to either, you’ll regret it). Your quirks and the things that make you unique are your strongest selling points. If you’re genuinely considering that you may have body dysmorphic disorder then understandably you’ll have an even tougher time realising this than the average teen. With reverence to the point about you having your whole teens ahead of you, if you think you may suffer from a mental illness please seek help. 

Your teen years are rocky enough as it is, so many people have them tarnished by mental illness because for many reasons they don’t reach out early. If you reach out to your doctor and nip it in the bud while you’re still in control, you will feel far better off than if it spirals out of control, trust me. You seem super mature so I’m sure you don’t need to hear all of this and are sensible enough to get help, but I want to reiterate, please do. You’re so young and you’re already overthinking, overanalysing and worrying about this stuff, give yourself the best shot of overcoming the hurdles you may face in the future by asking for support if you need it. 

Some tips to help with your body image: 

1) Write a list of the things you love about your appearance and stick it to your mirror (or write it on the mirror in lipstick). Look at it every day, as much as you can 2) Take time to unwind and do activities for self care 3) What other think of you does not define your worth4) You are not beautiful because of your hair, your face, your body, your clothes or your eyes/smile/features, nor are your friends. You’re beautiful because you’re human, because you smile and laugh, because you have compassion and energy, because you leave your mark on the world. 5) Try not to compare yourself to other girls your age. No two people are the same, but not one person is worth any more than the other, regardless of what society would have you believe at times.

I really hope that helps, lovely,

Caitlin x

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #14 #14 years old #teenager #child mental health #adolescent mental health #CAMH #CAMHS #body image #poor self esteem #self esteem #analysing #overthinking #sensible #bright #you are beautiful #beautiful #girls #ladies #women #women empowerment #female empowerment #child #hair #face #body

[mental-health-advice]

this may be a hella useless suggestion, but it doesn’t hurt to ask anyways. you guys should have a ‘talk down option’. like, when having a mental illnesses there is a lot of times when you pretty much reach that crappy point where you feel like your whole life is ending (even though it probably isn’t). then people could just send an ask sayin that and someone could go on live chat or people could reply to the ask, telling them they could vent to them if they are comfortable. just a suggestion

Hey lovely! 

Please never feel that your suggestions are useless, we are ultimately here to help our followers and if there’s ever a way that we could help you better, you are always more than welcome to let us know! Just so you know, we do have a suggestion box which goes to a different ask box so that you have to wait less time for an answer (generally). You can send things into our suggestion box here.

Although I completely understand where you’re coming from with this suggestion, it’s important to remember that we are not an emergency service. As much as we would sincerely love to help you guys when you need us most, none of us are qualified to deal with a follower in crisis and we strongly believe it is unfair to put this amount of pressure on our admins, most of whom suffer from mental illnesses themselves and all of whom lead very busy lives but would always want to put those in crisis first. Therefore although we’d really like to be able to talk people down from their lowest point as soon as they are feeling that way, we cannot guarantee there will always be someone available, which is unfair on you guys, and like I said, it is a lot of pressure to put on our admins, which is unfair on us as we are unqualified and a lot can go wrong which can be potentially very traumatising and triggering for us as we would feel responsible for the follower we are helping.

I do love the idea of our followers helping one another and in the past we have thrown around ideas about having a forum for our followers to interact, however again, we feel very responsible for you all and cannot guarantee that everybody interacting in the forum or offering to help would be genuine or mindful of triggers which again, could cause a lot of potential issues for us as a blog. This also allows you guys to put a lot of pressure on one another potentially as some of our followers are very vulnerable and may feel responsible for someone they are trying to help. However, we do have venting groups for certain issues which you guys experience that we moderate. These run at certain times each week, and allows you guys to interact with people going through the same thing as you. Information on venting groups may be found here. We will definitely look into more ways for our followers to interact with one another in the future however it will take a lot of thought. 

I would like to say thank you for caring enough about our followers for wanting to make sure our followers have access to the support they need at all times, even that involves taking an active role in helping each other. You seem really genuine and lovely, and I wish you all the best! 

Caitlin xxx 

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #suggestions #followers suggestions #followers supporting followers #survivors supporting survivors #friendships #online friendships #support #encouragement #suggestion box #emergency service #we are not an emergency service #responsibility #pressure #admins #protecting our admins #protecting ourselves #not qualified #above and beyond

[mental-health-advice]

More often than not i am emotionally exhuasted and by association- i get physically exhausted. i find it hard to do even the simplest things. Shower, eat, brush my teeth.. Sometimes i just can't bother to get up out of bed because of how exhausted i am. Not sleep deprived bc i sleep around 6-8 hrs a night. Just tired. What is this????

Hey sweetheart,

It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now and really fighting to do your best. I’d just like to remind you that we are unable to diagnose you as we are not professionals, if you think you may be experiencing a health issue or mental health issue (not that there should be any differentiation) please see your healthcare provider for a definitive diagnosis, as we can only inform and offer advice from our own experiences and research. 

What you’re suffering from sounds like it could be depression, as when you’re depressed or in a depressive episode this can exhaust you to the point where you can’t get out of bed. However, I would like to know if you’re a particularly anxious person? Suffering from anxiety or indeed any mental illness can be exhausting as you are battling your own mind and it is possible that your exhaustion could be caused from this.

The final option I can think of in terms of mental illness is executive dysfunction. This is defined as a range of cognitive, behavioural and emotional difficulties which can be characterised as difficulties in planning and organising, difficulties motivating oneself, lack of impulse control and in some cases hyperactivity due to an inability to concentrate and stay on task. It can be caused by brain injury, however it can also be caused by autism and related disorders and by executive dysfunction disorder, and it can be a symptom/side effect of disorders such as depression. You can find more information on executive dysfunction here.

There are also certain physical health problems which can cause this physical and emotional exhaustion and I would recommend speaking to your doctor about these. This can include iron deficiency, other vitamin deficiencies or ‘burnout’ which is characterised as physical and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. You can also be diagnosed as suffering from fatigue, which can be caused by emotional stress. You can read about fatigue here. Your doctor would likely ask you about your personal circumstances and want to run blood tests and test your vitals (so blood pressure etc). 

The bottom line is I understand how difficult this is, having suffered with burnout myself in exam season and prolonged fatigue because of this, and I’m really proud of you for reaching out and for wanting to help yourself. 

Love,Caitlin xo

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #MHA #personal experience #exhaustion #fatigue #physical health #mental health #burnout #tiredness #depression #anxiety #battling your own mind #battle #brave #strong #prolonged fatigue #emotional exhaustion #physical exhaustion #shattered #knackered #tired #executive dysfunction #iron deficiency #anemia #vitamin deficiency #circumstances #admin experience #blood tests

[mental-health-advice]

How much time does it take for an ask sent now to be answered?

Hey lovely! 

The current wait time is about 2-3 months, but we are always working to bring this down! If you send in an ask with a tag (a memorable word or phrase) then it will be added to the taglist, which can be found here, and you can track how close to the bottom of the box it is (the closer to the bottom of the box it is, the sooner it will get answered). We also have this ‘while you wait’ page, you’re welcome to see if that helps!

Love,Caitlin x

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #advice #waiting time

[mental-health-advice]

My psychiatrist on campus is suggesting I go on Celexa for my MDD. My family doesn't know. I am scared of the side effects and what I'll be on the medication. I'm willing to try but I'm still.. hesitant. It's a new thing for me, I've grown so used to handling everyday on my own that I never considered meds.

Hey lovely! 

First of all, I’m so proud of you for speaking to the on campus psychiatrist about your mental health. That can be a really difficult thing to do but it’s so good to ask for support, it’s really one of the first steps to things getting better. 

I think the biggest thing for me to say here, is that it is a myth that medication changes who you are. When taken correctly, Celexa, which is an antidepressant, will not change your personality in the slightest. If anything, you will be more yourself on medication than off it, because medication helps you manage your symptoms and therefore revert back to your old self/be your true self. I am not a doctor so cannot advise fully on the side effects, however any side effects you do experience should be easily fixed if you work with the person prescribing them to you and ensure you are insistent on getting the care that’s best for you. There are lots of horror stories about antidepressants and side effects however there are also a lot of success stories. All antidepressants do is correctly synthesise/inhibit the hormones that every human being’s brain needs to function correctly. People worry about becoming addicted to the ‘chemicals’ in them, however people who do not take antidepressants are also addicted to those same chemicals, their body just produces the correct amount naturally, whereas the body of someone who needs medication does not (necessarily) do this. There is a lot of stigma about being on medication for your mental health and a lot of people, particularly neurotypical people, tend to preach “a more natural approach”. I’d really recommend this article as it explains why both are okay and helpful.

I know the prospect of going on medication is really scary, but your doctor wouldn’t recommend it if they didn’t think it was going to benefit you. While I know that it can seem daunting because you’re so used to functioning in this state, and what’s normal for you is familiar and feels comforting, that doesn’t necessarily make it healthy. It won’t be easy starting meds, however if you work with your doctor closely it will help you and how you feel on the medication, for the most part will be better and easier to cope with/function than how you currently feel. It will take a little while to get used to the idea and i would advise talking it through with your doctor if you have some reservations, or even speaking to people with experience of antidepressants (you are welcome to send another ask in asking to speak to someone with experience but please note that there is a waiting time). 

I really hope this helps, lovely.

Caitlin x

#caitlinmha #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #MHA #depression #citalopram #celexa #side effects #medication #stigma

[mental-health-advice]

School will be back soon and i'm so scared,god i'm terrified please help me i'm so scared

Hi lovely! 

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re scared for school. I know it gets so tiring when everybody around you is either looking forward to it, or telling you to look forward to it because it’s supposedly “the best years of your life” - which by the way, is utter rubbish for the most part. For some people it’s the best years of their lives, and most people hold fond memories of that time, but for many it’s incredibly stressful and difficult for the most part, and that’s okay. There’s more to life than this, it does get better. 

You don’t mention what’s causing your fear of school, but if it’s bullying, there are things we can do to help. The most important thing is to know that if you’re a victim of bullying, it is never your fault. It is never your fault that you are being targeted for who you are, or any other reason that the bullies give. Bullying is the fault of the bullies’, just as the responsibility for abuse lays with the abuser. It’s also really important to reach out in this time. To your peers, to teachers, to your family, to a trusted adult, even to a police officer. You are never alone and there are things that can be done to resolve these issues. If the people you approach refuse to do anything, that is incredibly poor on their part. You must keep trying, keep nagging incessantly until something is done because it is not good enough that people are causing you to be scared to go to school.

If you are scared because of the stress of school and the impact on your mental health, then that’s different, but still hopefully something we can help with. It really depends on what issues you face - social anxiety, depression, executive dysfunction, OCD, any mental health issue, or personal issue, can profoundly affect your school life. Something that can help is planning your time meticulously, however I understand that with some disorders, it can be incredibly difficult to organise your time and prepare in this way. This is where you need to reach out and ask for help. It’s always a good idea to disclose the issues you’re facing to your school, as they can then provide extra support for classes and exams. Other support can include a school counselling service, extensions for homework tasks, even just somebody to talk to who understands the issues you’re facing. School and exams are incredibly stressful, I have experienced that first hand, and it’s really important that you are able to cope in some way. Another big tip I have is to do something regularly that helps you to wind down and relax, and relieves anxiety and stress. This could be a sport, reading, watching TV shows. Anything that helps is okay. Ensure you schedule in time for this. It may also be worth reaching out to friends about how you’re feeling and asking them for their support, too. I know that when I was studying, my friends often got me through the year by always making me smile and being there for me when I was struggling with the workload or stress.

Please also understand that it is not your fault that you struggle with school, it really is okay. Many people struggle to cope because the system is becoming increasingly harder, and school is never the only part of your life that you have to balance. It is okay to be struggling. If it’s making you really anxious or feel panicky, it may be good to try and do something to calm down and focus in the moment, for example, breathing exercises or grounding techniques. This should help you to feel more relaxed, then it will be easier to come up with solutions. 

I really hope this helps,Caitlin x

#school issues #grounding #anxiety #bullying #depression #OCD #help #crying out for help #scared to go to school #back to school #caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice

[mental-health-advice]

is it self harm if you tried cutting for the 1st time but it didn't bleed?

Hi lovely!

I’m so sorry that you’re feeling the need to cause yourself pain. The short answer to this is, yes, any intent to harm yourself is self harm regardless of the method you use or the effect it has. Any and all self harm is valid, regardless of the severity, and anybody who does self harm or has thoughts of self harm deserves help for sure! 

I think it would be a really good idea if you could try and explore why you’re feeling as though you need to self harm, and what’s bringing you to do this. Are you in a stressful situation? Have you had any other symptoms of depression, or any other mental illnesses? Self harm can be related to any mental illness, and therefore this is quite a broad subject to be exploring within yourself. I’m going to link some information to some of the most common mental illnesses that could cause thoughts of self harm for you to read through. Ultimately, if you’re struggling so much that you want to hurt yourself, I would suggest reaching out to a professional.

Information on mental illnesses, which I would suggest you read through to see if you have been experiencing symptoms of any other mental illness. Remember though, you cannot diagnose yourself, nor can I diagnose you, you should reach out to a mental health professional for diagnosis and treatment: 

Our information page on self harmInformation on self harm from Mind, the Mental Health Charity

Anxiety: Our information Information from Mind, the Mental Health Charity

Depression: Information from Mind, the Mental Health charity

Eating Disorders:Our informationInformation from Mind, the Mental Health Charity 

Bipolar Disorder:Information from Mind, the Mental Health Charity

Body Dysmorphic Disorder: Our information on body image Information from Mind, the Mental Health Charity 

Borderline Personality Disorder: Information from Mind, the Mental Health Charity 

Although it is difficult and we would never recommend it, it is possible to start tackling the issue of self harm/trying to stop self harming by yourself. If this is your first time self harming, then I cannot stress enough to you how important it is that you begin addressing it now, rather than once the problem has escalated and it has become an addiction. Alternatives to self harm and distractions can really help, because they occupy with something else and help you develop coping techniques which are more healthy. Here is also a list of reasons not to self harm for when you need reminding, because sometimes it can be difficult to see why you shouldn’t relapse when you are in recovery and finding things tough. Ultimately though, the most permanent way to stop self harming is to address the issues causing you to have these feelings in the first place. You haven’t given much context but I would recommend evaluating your life and seeing which stressors you can remove, and how you can better take care of your mental health. You do not deserve to suffer lovely, you deserve happiness and support and I really hope you find those soon.

I hope this helps,Caitlin x

#self harm #cutting #tw self harm #tw cutting #diagnosis #nip it in the bud #depression #anxiety #BPD #bipolar disorder #BDD #body dysmorphic disorder #reasons for self harming #reasons to self harm #self harm distractions #alternatives to self harm #coping mechanisms #caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #hansel

[mental-health-advice]

To the anon about body shaming for skinny people

Hello lovely anon! 

A fellow follower left this lovely message for you in our inbox which I thought you may want to hear! We always love it at MHA when our followers get to interact, even through us, because it’s what makes our community wonderful! The follower did leave their username, if you would like to get in contact with them personally please leave a message in our inbox for me with your URL (so off anon please!) referencing this ask (something like ‘body shaming for skinny people should do the trick!) and I will organise for them to get in contact with you. :) 

Caitlin x

To the anon about body shaming for skinny people. I get told I'm too skinny. That I need to eat more or that soon I'll just disappear in thin air because I'm too thin. Its super hurtful. I learned I can't win. I can gain weight and either be called too fat or I'm still too skinny. I've been dealing with it since I was around 13. Friends, family, strangers name calling me. I feel ya. I think there is body shaming for anyone and any body type.

#caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice #body shaming #skinny #skinny people #skinny shaming #be nice #too fat #too thin #name calling #bullying

[mental-health-advice]

Guys!! I beat my fear of planes! I found out that using earplugs manages to block out enough sound and relax me. I'm truly proud of myself and my family is so happy because I'm willing to travel more! 💙💙💙 my advice to other people with this fear is to try to find their own techniques to be more relaxed 💙

Hi lovely, 

I’m so proud of you for beating your fear of planes! I know people close to me suffer from this fear and really can be crippling and debilitating, plus it’s so hard to overcome, so I’m really truly SO proud of you for facing this fear. Thank you for letting us know that you’ve overcome this and allowing us to show followers that things do get better, they can overcome this. Thank you for the advice to others with a fear of planes/flying too lovely, I’m sure that will really help them as it’s coming from somebody who’s been there! 

I will have your achievement added to our accomplishments page, this really is fantastic!

All the best,Caitlin x

#fear of flying #fear of planes #accomplishments #achievements #progress #recovery #proud #caitlinmha #advice blog #mental health advice