#despite not actually having the stomach for even witnessing violence up close

[koinotame]

how dangerous the twst cast is as yanderes

content warnings: this is yandere stuff so plenty of relationships and mindsets of questionable healthiness. reader implied to be yuu. mentions of murder and violence (nothing explicit/graphic, but frequent. mostly not aimed at reader). most are pretty ambiguous wrt being romantic or platonic (though it’s assumed they have an at least somewhat close relationship with you). i don’t think there’s any explicit spoilers but this was written with mostly-up-to-date knowledge so maybe beware if you really want to avoid any spoilers

whole main cast is included, under the cut for length (near 4k words)! if you read ortho's section as incestuous or romantic in any other way i will shoot a laser beam at you.

fairly harmless overall ▸ i actually normally wouldn't put them together, but in either case i can't see either of the adeuce duo being too dangerous to others. yeah, they might beat someone up for getting too close to you or hurting you, but i really really can't see either of them going much farther. deuce in particular used to be a delinquent, and he does sometimes slip back into that mindset, and he does know how to beat someone up well… but he's a good boy now. your good boy. even in his delinquent phase he would've never actually killed someone, and the idea horrifies him a little too much to ever seriously consider. ace has a bit less restraint, but also a lot less experience. what he lacks in experience he does more than make up for in wit and quick learning, but… while the thought does cross his mind occasionally, he wouldn't be able to stomach actually killing someone either. he'll beat someone up if they hurt you or you ask him to though. unlike deuce, he'll probably brag about it to you if he knows your reaction would be positive.

▸ don’t you worry! your cay-kun would never kill someone! in fact, cater is very unlikely to get violent at all. when he gets jealous (which happens pretty often), he turns that bitterness inside. what do they have that he doesn’t? do you like quieter guys? is he too obsessed with magicam? do you not like the way he doesn’t let you in unless you push, because he’s too afraid you won’t like what you find and leave? is he not affectionate enough? do you not like his hair? it doesn’t matter what it is about him that you don’t like, about others that you do like. he’ll fix the problem; he’ll fix himself. he’s already used to putting on acts around others—this isn’t that different. even if it’s not him you like at this point, as long as he can stay by your side, it’ll be fine. there’s a desperate edge to his actions that’s hard to spot, but once you have is impossible to unsee. as long as you continue liking him, he’ll throw away who he is—just. don’t throw him aside once you’re bored of him, okay? keep him around forever. please. ▸ jack is another that’s fairly harmless. it’s in his nature to be overprotective, and he doesn’t see much wrong with that, but he has no issue with your friends and he’s pretty reasonable at telling apart actual threats from things like jokes. he’s much like your guard dog… or maybe he’s more like guard puppy, with the way you doubt he’d ever actually hurt anyone despite his big stature. he’s embarrassed when you tell him this, but the wagging of his tail gives away just how much he likes knowing you’re okay with—even like—his constant presence. he’s not… completely against going behind your back when someone is actually about to hurt you to deal with he issue, though. just… just occasionally, when it’s really necessary. he won’t make a habit of it. he just… doesn’t want you to see him like that. he’d never want to scare you. that’s all.

a bit less harmless but not by (too) much ▸ riddle is good and well behaved and refuses to resort to something as drastic as violence or murder, or at least he’s trying very hard to convince himself so. he’s definitely somewhat tyrannical to everyone around you even after he mellows out after his overblot, and he has no hesitation in punishing those who hurt or displease you, especially his own dormmates. even once both of you graduate, this habit of his never quite vanishes. he gets a little frantic if you show disapproval of his actions though, especially if you seem scared of him. he’s desperate to prove that he’s good and loves you and would never hurt you, and if that means toning down his ardour, he’ll try his best. the stress of possibly losing you just makes him all the more overbearing to everyone around him. he’s trying his best for you though, so… don’t you love him as much as he loves you? won’t you turns your eyes back to him and only him? ▸ kalim would never kill someone! nor would he have someone be killed. but his family's wealth and influence extends far, and anyone seeking to hurt you (or him through you) would be a fool to think otherwise. he'd never kill someone, but making sure they end up rotting in prison for the rest of their life is just doing the right thing! he might be a little blinded by his panic, sure, but— they tried to hurt you! if he's really jealous (something that doesn't happen often—he only has eyes for you, after all, so he tends to not think too much about others), it's not hard to just have them transfer. or be fired. or something. he won't tell you outright, but if you ask he sees no point in hiding it from you. if you don't react well, he gets a little frantic and insists that he really really really wouldn't ever go farther than that…! probably. ▸ epel getting into yet another fistfight for you is something you’ve grown unfortunately used to. you’re frankly convinced he outright wants you to see at this point, maybe in some misconceived idea it’ll make you think he’s tough, with the way he runs up to you like a puppy expecting praise afterwards. he’ll be torn if you fuss over him afterwards—on one hand, he wants you to think he’s tough and your coddling doesn’t really give the impression that you understand that, but it feels really, really nice when your attention is focused on only him. but as unrestrained as epel is, he’s not particularly dangerous. if you seem really put off by his actions, he might even rein it in a little (vil is glad for your cooperation, even if that wasn’t your intention). he’s more preoccupied with earning your attention and approval than he is with stuff like keeping other suitors away from you. ▸ i just think it’d be really funny if despite everything about him, rook is one of the most harmless. he’s the type of yandere to have a shrine (it’s not in his closet because he has no shame) and have his room covered in notes about you but who’d never actually kill someone. he’s also… the type who enjoys and loves everything about you. to rook, the journey is more important than the destination, and that includes you. the you on your own, the you around your friends (not that they’ll stick around too much once they notice rook), and the you around him are all different and equally worth loving. he’s not exactly shy about his stalking either, but once you get used to his constant presence, it doesn’t really get worse. maybe a little more intense, but not worse. he’s fine with pretty much any way you want to treat him, too—whether you treat him like a beloved pet or a plaything or act like you don’t know or notice him, he’ll love you all the same. forever.

holds themselves back… but not because of ethics ▸ when trey thinks about the future he wants with you, he allows himself to imagine what it would be like to be so wholly engrossed in each other that everything else might as well not exist. unfortunately, the two of you live in real life and not in a fairy tale, so he’s settled for the idea of eventually settling down and growing old with you. it’s… not entirely ethics that holds him back. he’s aware that most of the urges he gets when he sees you around others or when he sees you get hurt in someway are immoral, and he reigns himself in. aside from some people in your life suddenly finding it odd how the ever dependable senior suddenly doesn’t seem to like them much and has been giving them the cold shoulder, most people are very unlikely to realise there’s anything off about trey… including you. just let him be your normal (if fairly fussy) boyfriend, okay? and if he occasionally slips a bit of a sleeping potion into your food and masks the taste with his unique magic so you end up staying the night just so he can spend a little more time with you… that can be his little secret. ▸ it's definitely not ethics that holds ruggie back, but it would be a serious problem if he gets caught killing someone. or even just gets particularly violent with someone else. he'd do it in a heartbeat, especially for you (especially if you asked him), don't get him wrong, but, well— if he goes to jail, he's fucking his family over. if he goes to jail, he won't be able to provide for you in the future—or have any sort of relationship with you. his resolve might waver if you were to actually ask, but even then he’s determined to stick to actions he can reasonably get away with. it's not uncommon for him to use laugh with me to embarrass any guys he thinks are getting too close to you though, and it's not too hard to be discreet with his unique magic when someone really deserves to fall face down a flight of stairs. or three. oopsie. odd they don't remember it, huh? well, he had nothing to do with that. ▸ jamil is a bit more restrained. murder is fine (it’s definitely not his first resort, but it’s there as an option if he really needs it—he did kind of try to kill five people, even if it was during his overblot), but using snake whisper is just so much more convenient… most of the time. due to his position as a servant of kalim, he has to carefully consider any actions he takes unless he wants there to be dire consequences for his family. unfortunately for him, this means he can’t just beat up anyone getting too close to you no matter how much he may feel like it. his unique magic does work well for him here though—and he’s not opposed to using more force if there’s a good reason (like impressing you and getting complimented by y—ehem. making sure your bullies won’t bother you again). the one person he’d rather not use his unique magic on is you. what he likes so much about you is that you’re choosing him of your own volition, and that’s worth more than any force could get him.

not the worst, but… ▸ azul tries really, really hard to keep everything he does behind your back, well. behind your back. he doesn't usually get his own hands dirty, but it would be a serious problem if you found out about the students he's been tricking into unfair contracts just because he got jealous. and it'd be one thing if it ended there, but more than that… if anyone hurts you, the tweels haven't amassed a certain reputation for nothing. if azul’s this fond of you, there’s a very high chance they’re familiar with you as well—and even if they weren’t, azul being jealous enough to send them after people that aren’t even remotely threatening your relationship is amusing enough for them to comply. he won’t go too far though, no matter how envious he may get. ruining someone’s reputation, having the twins beat them up or tricking them into unfair deals is one thing, but even someone like azul wouldn’t resort to cold-blooded murder. ▸ remember when vil, pretty lucid, tried to poison neige? yeah. with his unique magic and social standing, it would be really easy to get rid of anyone causing you issues. of course, with you being aware of his unique magic, he’d have to be careful to make sure you don’t realise, so it’s something he’d reserve for only actual emergencies. it’s also a lot easier to abuse his influence and fame to keep others away from you, whether it’s by threatening them himself or getting others to do his dirty work for him. when it comes to you and keeping your attention on him, he finds it much more rewarding to keep working on himself to meet your standards and doting on you even much than he already does. keep your eyes on him and only on him, won’t you? he’ll make it worth your while. ▸ idia, as a yandere, is incredibly desperate. he’s already perfectly content (well, not perfectly, but content enough) to just watch you through his screen and maybe chat with you online (with your anonymous pal who you definitely don’t know irl, of course), so if he gets lucky enough to be with you for real, there’s very little he won’t be willing to do to ensure it stays that way. in practice this means trying to appeal to you more than anything else; if you seem even the slightest bit unhappy with him, he’s desperately trying to fix it immediately. do you think he’s too offputting? he’ll cover his mouth and hair and— are you mad because he tried to convince you to ditch your friends and just stay with him again? he’s sorry! he doesn’t have an excuse, he’s just scared that you’ll realise you could do so much better and don’t like him that much after all. sometimes he thinks about how he definitely has the resources for more forceful and permanent measures, but then you smile at him, or tell him his smile is pretty, or run your fingers through his hair, or laugh at a comment he made and his mind goes blank and gives him a 404 error. there’s no way he could ever give that up just for some measly certainty… though the same can’t be said for those who he gets too jealous of or those who hurt you. not that you need to know that.

not needlessly violent ▸ sebek is… very enthusiastic about the things he dedicates himself to. this includes you. if you thought his devotion to malleus was excessive, it’s even worse when it comes to you. while he has no personal issues with fighting if it means protecting you (whether that protecting includes only actual threats is debatable), he takes pride in his position as malleus’ retainer. this means that no matter how he feels, he has to consider how his actions would make briar valley and his lord look. he also doesn’t really get jealous. instead (and this is almost worse), he has his own idea of how everyone else should treat you and he does get aggressive with others if he doesn’t think they’re treating you right. you deserve a heavy amount of respect and he finds it very aggravating when others don’t give you that (see: treat you like a regular person). he’s not subtle either—if anything, going behind your back on this would go against his values. he wants to be useful to you!!! he wants you to know how much he cares and how you’re superior and the one with all the power in this relationship!!! the good thing is he listens to everything to ask of him, no matter how ridiculous he finds you insisting you prefer being treated casually by your friends and peers. ▸ silver, while less outwardly enthusiastic, is no less devoted. he doesn’t really get jealous (there’s a dull ache in his chest when he sees you with others and thinks about the possibility of someone being more important to you than you are to him, but that’s not jealousy, right?), and he’s fairly realistic about what counts as a threat to you and what doesn’t. the problem is that as soon as something crosses that threshold, he’s drawing his wand (or baton. or sword. he’s trained and prepared with all three). it’s almost scarier than if he were enjoying it, because you have absolutely no clue how far he’s willing to go for your safety—or if he even has any limits when it comes to you. he has a rather twisted view on relationships, and that extends to you. you’ve been so kind and accommodating and caring, and he needs to repay you for that. he’s insistent on serving you, because his entire self worth (and by extension any care you’ve gracefully granted him) relies on being useful. also doesn’t really see himself as your proper equal, though he’s less aware of this compared to sebek, and also listens well to just about anything you ask of him. if it’s for you, he’d do anything. ▸ you have a very different definition of "not needlessly violent" than lilia, but it’s at least true he doesn’t go around picking fights. he's not bothered at all by baby chicks clinging too close to you. if anything, he might pop into the conversation and agree with them—you are great and wonderful and adorable and so much more! it makes the conversation kind of awkward, and whoever you were talking to might not seek you out as much afterwards, but beyond teasing you there's never any indication that he goes any further. of course, violence is something he’s been very accustomed to over his long life, so when someone actually hurts you he has no issue with getting the message across in a more… drastic way. as soon as he's done, he's right back to coddling you. they won't be repeating the same mistake again, so don't worry too much about it and stick close to him from now on, okay?

very needlessly violent ▸ violent probably isn’t the best way to describe leona, but he doesn’t hold back when it comes to you. what, you think he’s just going to sit back and let you go? you’re the best thing that’s happened to him, like hell he’s going to not put in the proper effort in keeping you. …even if you’re not sure if you entirely agree with the sentiment. he gets jealous very often, so it’s common to see him glowering and scaring off anyone he deems too close to you. there’s no need to go further when he knows they’ll leave you both alone afterwards, but the threat only works as well as it does because he has both the magical prowess and social influence to make good on his promises. he’ll insist he doesn’t see them as threats so much as pests hanging around and leeching off of you, but there’s some part of him deep down that’s scared you’ll decide you like someone else better after all. he’s not sure he could take even you leaving him. any actual danger to you is also dealt with quickly, and while he doesn’t want to threaten you into it, you won’t have an easy time abandoning him even if you try. you were the one who wormed your way into his life—you don’t get to leave now. ▸ yeah. lol. the tweels are very, very needlessly violent. perhaps not the most Dangerous in the grand scale, but almost definitely some of the most unpleasant. for their victims, at any rate—though they do occasionally (or not so occasionally) nearly give you a heart attack. they’d never seriously harm you though… probably. or actually kill anyone. right…? floyd tends to be the most immediately dangerous. he’s quick to turn to violence (and to get a little too into it) when you’re involved, even more than usual. someone’s bothering you? someone’s getting a bit too close to you in his opinion? you just want him to? you’re not paying enough attention to him and he knows this’ll get your focus back on him, where it should be? :) he’s not too hard to pacify, at least when it’s you offering to let him rest on your lap or offering to spend the whole day with him. jade is usually clocked as less dangerous than floyd, but. well. you know that line he says when he ruminates on how he’d react if betrayed? yeah. unlike floyd, who’s very open about his misdeeds, you’re not actually sure what jade does behind your back. you don’t want to know. the way some people in your life pale and flee at the sight of you, the way you don’t see some of them again at all, and the way jade smiles when this happens tells you all you need to know. what would happen if you betrayed him? fufu, you’d never do that so there’s no need to worry about it. ▸ didn't he attempt to blow up the school once… 💀 yeah, as cute as ortho is he's not exactly built with too many stop guards. the good news is he's easy to dissuade! the bad news is he's also very quick to escalate to really ridiculous levels. you're his older sibling, it's only natural he'd want to protect you! are you sure you don't need him to blow them up? chances are the threat alone worked well enough to deter anyone from messing with you again. you might want to have a conversation with idia about limiting some of ortho's abilities though because his enthusiasm… is a little very concerning… he does get a little jealous occasionally, but it's much easier to insert himself in the conversation and steal your attention that way. isn't your little brother cute? won't you focus some more on him? please?

▸ malleus is… malleus. violence isn’t his first resort, largely because it just… doesn’t need to be. he’s one of the five most powerful mages in the entire world. that title alone is enough to scare off anyone who’d mean to hurt you or is getting too close to you, so he rarely has to intervene in the first place. he also doesn’t mind you having other friends (though he does get lonely in your absence… make sure to make it up to him afterwards), so he really only steps in when you’re in danger. he’s not particularly worried about getting caught by you, because he’s so out of touch that it doesn’t occur to him that you may not appreciate him turning anyone who hurt you into ashes. if anything, he enjoys showing off how capable of keeping you safe he is. he’s defending you, who he cares about most in the world; why would that upset you? if you try to spin it as being worried about him getting into trouble for killing someone, he’ll be very pleased you’re worried about him instead. the only thing that would crack his calm attitude is any sort of reminder that he will long, long outlive you… but it’s best not to dwell on that. fret not, he won’t ever let you go.

#yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #i. am NOT tagging everyone #sorry for the awkward line breaks. the editor has it out for me specifically

[sleepymarmot]

The semi-rewatch of the s3 finale validated my past self's affection for Lucy Saxon

Every single new who showrunner, RTD included, repeatedly: Check out this character who is a dark mirror of the Doctor! RTD, his brain huge: Yes yes but how about we give them a dark mirror of a companion?

#doctor who #blah blah blah #lava klanka is watching you #if going on a trip with a time lord makes young women detached from their normal lives; desensitized to violence; desperate to impress him #- then what happens if that time lord has malicious intentions and does this specifically to break them? #lucy doesn't have a lot of screentime but it's so clear what's going on with her throughout it #like. even beyond the doctor-companion parallels #the way she loses hope in the future and commits to the “bring on the apocalypse! let us be the hot evil couple!” attitude #despite not actually having the stomach for even witnessing violence up close #as long as she can find comfort/excitement/catharsis in the epic scale of the events #...flash forward a year to the full awareness of the terrible mundanity of evil

[lily-blue]

Love is a powerful weapon; learn to wield it

☆ characters: naga!kim & singha!you ☆ genre: fantasy kingdom au, guardian spirits au ☆ warnings: brief mention of blood, death and violence ☆ request: DV15. form this prompt list ☆ summary: you’re still too young to understand what it means to fight for your loved ones, but Kim tries his best to guide you towards the right direction ☆ words: 1,8k ☆ dedicated to: @dat-town​​ ♥

There was a parallel world outside that only a few could see; a prosperous kingdom behind a thin veil where most guardians lived. Some of these fearsome albeit well-respected creatures possessed the power of shapeshifting, some remained the same for centuries if the demons of the human realm didn’t shorten their life span drastically. Like it had happened to your maternal uncle before his twin daughters had taken over the temple that he had been protecting half of his life in Siam or your grandfather who had died before you had been born, sacrificing his life for the villagers who had worshipped him and his twin for decades, wishing for peace after long years of internal war.

As young Singhas, you and your twin brother both lived in Wattana, the capital city of your kingdom, in an institute close to the royal palace, where the king and queen could keep an eye on your improvement as guardian candidates. Since the vast majority of your kind had never cared enough about humans to show their faces on the other side of the veil, those who were willing to dedicate their existence to the weak and fallible were given proper training to be able to carry out their mission. You were taught about human history, different cultures that acknowledged your existence and defence and offence techniques that could have helped you win a fight against much greater enemies. To say that you loved every second of your training might have been a stretch, but you did love following in your family’s footsteps despite the limited time your teachers granted you to spend with your friends and relatives. You assumed it was their way of making you all get used to their absence once you moved to the human world.

After all, only guardians on duty could cross the border, and protecting one’s temples and people was a job that never ended. There would be no vacations or paid sick leaves. Actually, according to your teachers, both you and your brother would need to look for a human job once you became a part of the human world as blending in was the easiest way to pick up on the telltale signs when all hell was about to get loose. Humans loved gossiping that much.

The muffled screams and the distinct smell of Garuda blood were the first things that had gotten your attention when on a particularly lonely night you decided to walk around in the garden behind your accommodation to feel closer to your father. You two might have never met as he had needed to leave for the human world with his twin after their father’s death, but you liked to think that you were looking at similar moons.

‘You’re disgusting, you human-fucker piece of shit,’ someone groaned, the pain behind each and very world palpable. Even from a distance, even without looking at their face, you knew that their pain wasn’t one of a friend who had been betrayed. They felt the pain as if their body was nearing its limits.

‘Poor choice of last words,’ your teacher retorted with the usual nonchalance in his voice that made the ease he sliced the Garuda’s throat even more frightening. Your nails sank into palms as you peeked out from behind the tree trunk that you were using as your shield. Your stomach dropped the moment the creature’s head touched the ground.

In spite of those years you had spent in the institute, despite how seriously the royal couple and your teachers took your education, it was your first time witnessing another guardian’s death. The amount of blood that slowly pooled around the headless body was a lot more vast than you would have thought; the still corpse didn’t dissolve into thin air, either, as quickly as you had assumed based on the books and stories you had read. 

You couldn’t take your eyes off the Garuda’s eerily wide eyes. It felt like he was staring at you even in his death.

‘Are you planning to stay there all night?’ Your teacher’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, the disapproving hum at the end of his question echoing amusement. You weren’t sure it was a good sign or you should have been terrified. ‘If that’s how you react when you get scared, you should give up on becoming a guardian. You’ll just get yourself and your brother killed.’

It panged, how dismissively the Naga spoke. As though he thought you were a lost case; as if your dedication meant nothing to him just because, for a moment, your feet turned into stone.

Determined to not show any sign of weakness or frustration, you held your chin high and stepped out from behind the tree, feigning nonchalance. So what if it was the fearsome Naga, the guardian of merciless royal families, Kim Theerapanyakul who had called you incompetent? You knew your worth. You just had to remind him that you were the top student of your class for a reason.

‘I saw nothing,’ the lie fell from your lips immediately and honestly, you were pretty proud of how stable your voice came out while facing someone as deadly and rough around the edges as the Naga. You could almost see yourself walk away from this situation unharmed.

Expect…

‘You saw enough,’ he corrected you, the subtle smirk in the corner of his mouth unnerving. It was giving you the chills, but you willed your body to remain calm. Sure, you shouldn’t have been out so late at night, you should have walked in the opposite direction as soon as you had smelled the blood in the air, but it wasn’t necessarily against the rules. Until Kim had some sort of permission or reason to kill the other guardian. 

Because he had had one, right?

He had to have a good reason. You refused to believe that he had been in the wrong because that would have meant one thing: you were an error in his plan that he needed to get rid of. You bit into your tongue to suppress the nervous gulp that you were about to do.

‘You can relax. He was about to bring hell to the human world with this,’ he showed you the tiny ruby that was atop of his palm before he shoved it into the inner pocket of his leather jacket. You furrowed your brows but nodded in acknowledgement nevertheless. You had never heard about a gemstone so dangerous before, but maybe it was a part of a more complex plan. He wasn’t obligated to tell you all the details.

It was most probably for the better that he didn’t tell you anything more.

‘Wasn’t he a guardian?’ Was yet another question that shouldn’t have left your mouth, but it bugged you: was it necessary to go to such extremes instead of talking things out? Or was there a possibility that there weren’t only demons out there but fellow guardians, too, who wanted to harm those your family members had given their lives for?

Kim tilted his head sideways as his gaze loitered over your body from head to toe. He said nothing, but the silence was as good as any answer could have been. You felt sick and angry.

You were frustrated because you had just realised that you were still too young and naive for people like Kim to not laugh at you when you claimed you knew the world.

The Naga must have picked up on your unstable emotional state because instead of sending you back to your room or scolding you more for your poor reaction, he sighed and sat down on the grass, wordlessly asking you to do the same with another tilt of his head.

It took you a couple of seconds, but you eventually sat down next to him.

When you would tell your brother about your night the following day, you wouldn’t be able to explain how you ended up discussing the difference between a good guardian and powerful guardian - especially because you had been talking about the ones who lost their way and got corrupted in the process -, but you would have no problem reciting your teacher’s conclusion on the matter. In fact, his words might have stuck with you for the rest of your life.

‘They, good guardians, die for love. You kill for it.’ The impact was immediate as a part of you understood that what he was saying would change the way you saw the world forever. However, another part of you, that had barely lived two decades, couldn’t make much sense of the statement. Had he implied that guardians that lost their life were weak?

Wasn’t dying for those people you were protecting one of the most respected ways to leave the world behind?

Your eyes grew wide when Kim poked your forehead with his index and middle fingers. Your neck bent backwards and a pained groan slipped past your lips because of how unexpected his gesture was.

‘Go, sleep. I won’t go easy on you if you’re late from your morning run,’ he warned you, but despite his words and your lasting confusion, you felt more at ease in his company now than you had felt before your conversation.

You were still sitting on the grass, staring out of your head, when the Naga stood up and dusted off his jeans. He didn’t say anything more, nor did he steal a glance at you from above his shoulder from a distance. He became one with the shadows as easily as the rumours suggested. He was gone before you realised.

However, his words stayed with you. They didn’t go away as you grew into a more mature version of yourself who was a little more aware of how the real world worked with every passing day. A version of yourself who, despite the heartbreak, was strong enough to take over her father’s temple when the man and his brother failed to protect their humans from a backhanded attack led by a bitter guardian.

It took another decade and a half for your teacher’s words to finally make perfect sense to you. It happened so naturally you almost didn’t notice the changes: you crossed paths with a ridiculous human being who could not only see through the veil, but was also too fierce and reckless for his own good and as simple as breathing, your life went off its axis.

Before him, you would have fought until your body stopped moving if it meant you could protect those people who were depending on you and your brother. After him, you discovered the power that came with your desperation to destroy everything and everyone that meant harm to him. To stay with him. Because why would anyone die for peace and leave their loved ones behind?

When you genuinely cared about someone’s happiness, there were few things more cowardly than turning into a martyr just because it might have been what a good guardian would have done to avoid bloodshed.

the end.

#jeff satur #jeff #kim theerapanyakul #kinnporsche #kim theerapanyakul x you #kim x reader #kim x you #kinnporche scenarios #fantasy kingdom au #guardian spirits au #ssbyme

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Cat Hybrid

Picrew: Sweet rabbit Kaokao

⚠️[Warning: Yandere behavior, yandere mindsets, violence, fear of baths, rivalry, light sexual implications, and implied sexual actions]⚠️

“What in Cleopatra’s name is that?”

The feline hybrid couldn’t have walked in on a worse time. An hour before you had attempted to convince Memphis, your new Shiba Inu hybrid, to take a bath. At first he was really excited about it but that was only because he didn’t know what it was; apparently the ‘shelter’ only sprayed him down with a hose without warning. When you did make the connection of washing in a tub of water his tune changed real quick. He proceeded to use his dog form to escape you by going places you couldn’t reach and just out running you in every way possible. You decided you’d only win with your wit and loudly exclaimed how you’d be undressing in the bathroom with a full tub of water. Your plan was to wait for him to ambush you and then push him into the tub. It didn’t really work. While you were slowly working off your shirt he jumped in the bathroom as planned, then he proceeded to try and carry you out. That was not planned. In your struggle to weigh him down into the tub you ended up falling in, realizing your plan he tried to take off. Key word: tried. You had latched on to his jean bottoms sequentially pulling them down and pulling you out of the tub. Between him crawling around to avoid a now-wet-you and you trying your best to just get him as wet as you, the both of you had been put in quite a compromising position. What Cam walked in he saw a half dressed dog hybrid trying to release your wet and slightly see-through hold on him.

The struggle stopped to stare at the intruder in the foyer like deer in headlights. Recognizing the snotty and disgruntled cat hybrid you abandon your previous goal of washing Memphis for your life-long friend.

“Cam! I’m so glad to see you.” Springing from the staring hybrid on the floor you rushed to hug Cameron. Despite your soaking wet visage you were still tightly embraced. You pulled away to take Cameron to your kitchen where he dropped off his bag and you searched for his designated box of sour sweets. All the while you explained how you were trying to give a bath to your newly adopted hybrid. You continued to maneuver around your kitchen even as your outfit was still dripping wet. Despite hugging you earlier he perched himself on your island counter watching the clothes fit tightly around your form.

When you finally stop to hand him all that you’ve gathered, he wordlessly starts to strip you. You continued to talk. This was a normal occurrence. Ever since you were kids (kittens) you had bathed together and when you got old enough to question this, he explained how sensitive he was to smells. Being the good friend you were, you obliged and it had been this way for as long as you can remember.

This wasn’t known to the other hybrid you so quickly forgot about. He gritted and grinded his teeth as he saw this manipulator pawing all over you. You were his person! No fair! He followed fairly close behind but not too close! He didn’t want to be attacked by that weirdo cat. He seemed like he’d kill me.

They actually did it.

You were leaning on his chest in the bathtub, falling asleep. He accommodated you, supporting your nearly resting form by wrapping his arms around your stomach and waist. Falling asleep in the bathtub wasn’t safe and Cam would never usually condone it but he needed to think about his next steps. At the time you mentioned this it just seemed like one of those late-night pipe dreams that wasn’t going anywhere. He was wrong. And he could already guess how many more you planned to ‘free.’ Now he wasn’t against the liberation of hybrids but in his your house, nuh-uh. He glided his hands on your thighs wrapping around them before inching closer to your butt which was dangerously wonderfully close to his nether region. How to get rid of that mutt, other than sabotaging him by officially claiming you was a hard thought. to focus on especially because you were subconsciously inching your hips closer to him.

Okay I can plan much better once I fix this.

When you woke again you were in your pjs cuddled into your whimpering puppy in his stubby form. You squeezed him and hushed his whimpers, returning to sleep with a happy puppy in hold. Amber eyes peek from over your shoulder at the relaxed cat resting near your back.

Enjoy your last night as a pampered pooch. I plan to fix that soon.

#yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere oc #yanderes #yandere harem #yanderehybrid #yandere hybrid #yandere cat hybrid #yandere boy #male yandere #yanderexrea

[theyoutubedork]

𝕭𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖆 - 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖎

Bucky Barnes x Hydra!enhanced!reader

𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔲𝔢 - please read before continuing

Part 2

Summary: Belladonna finally returns from her mission, but once her handler knows about her possibly compromising her identity, she is led back to Siberia to be wiped. In attempts to keep her humanity, Y/N is able to recall her only memory from outside of Hydra.

Word Count: 1.3k+

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Warning: 18+, mature topics, mentions of drug use (weed), implied bisexual themes, trauma, mentions of the Vietnam War, mentions of abuse, mentions of violence, swearing, mentions of death.

“Отчет о задании, солдат.” the handler demands, not even giving you a second to collect yourself when you get back to the jet. They strap you into your restraints as you give the mission report. You had been by yourself for the past three days, collecting a few files from a small embassy in France. You were ambushed by a few Shield agents, but you were able to easily overtake them, not giving them any idea of where you were going.

“Миссия была успешной. Выживших нет. Камеру слежения я не заметил, но уничтожил.” You mutter. Although the mission was successful, with no survivors or witnesses, you failed to notice the small security camera that was positioned where you were ambushed. You see the handler seethe at you when you mentioned the camera.

“Как ты мог быть таким безрассудным? Глупая женщина!” (How could you be so reckless? Stupid woman!)

The handler slaps your face with the back of his palm, but you barely flinch when you feel his wedding band cut your cheek. You look up at the handler, blood dribbling down your cheek. You see the absolute fury in his eyes, but he quickly turns to his subordinates.

“Как только она вернется на территорию комплекса, вытрите ее. Мы не можем допустить, чтобы это повторилось.” (As soon as she gets back to the compound, wipe her. We can’t let this happen again.) he orders, and the subordinates nod immediately. You feel your jaw clench at the handler’s words. They were going to wipe you. Again.

The rest of the flight was absolutely silent. You kept your gaze on the wall, letting all the idle noise from the jet drift to the back of your mind. No matter how much Hydra tried to pry any sort of emotion from your psyche, they could never get rid of two things. The pain, and the anxiety. As soon as you heard the handler detail his plans for you, that familiar feeling of anxious dread pool in your stomach. You knew of the immense pain you were about to endure, and despite your best efforts, you could feel your palms shaking, droplets of sweat collecting in your clenched fists.

This has been the longest you’ve gone without having to be wiped, a whole month, and even though you’ve been wiped to a human clean slate, you were able to remember something. You know they definitely didn’t plant that memory in you, since it was actually pleasant, so you figured it was before your life in Hydra. You recall your memory one last time, trying to seal it in your brain deep enough unable to be ripped from you, but you know it was no use. So, you trying to take your mind off the anxiety with the only thing that made you feel like an actual being.

“You promised you would go dancing with us!”

You sighed, rolling your eyes as you set down your paintbrush, “Look, I know I promised you guys I’d go, but that was before Davey told me about the protest in D.C tomorrow. I promised him I’d have all the signs ready for then. We have 50 new volunteers who agreed to go with our group,”

One of your supposed friends, who you can never recall the name of, swished her hips as she approached you. She was a statuesque black woman, with large curls and a smirk hanging off her lips as she takes a hit from her blunt. She sat beside you on the couch, making it bounce slightly due to its age. Your other friends said they’d be on their way to the dancing club, closing the door loudly behind them.

“Why aren’t you going with them?” You asked the woman beside you, taking a hit off the blunt when she offered it to you.

“Because I know you’ll be up all night making these posters if I don’t stay here.” She stated in a matter-of-fact timbre.

“You know I have to,”

“Y-“

“No, there are hundreds of men dying every single day in Vietnam, so the least I can do is pull an all-nighter to make some fucking signs. Who’s gonna speak up for them if they are full of bullet holes?” You ranted, fury boiling through your veins. The woman looks at you with a small smile.

“You’re really hot when you rant about politics,” she chuckles in a sultry tone, and you remember how hot your cheeks became after she winked at you.

You are physically pulled back from your recollection, two guards untying your restraints before dragging you to your feet. You don’t fight it, you’ve given up on fighting a long time ago.

The cold, Siberian air nips at your skin, and it causes your cheeks to become ruddy, a usual indicator for all those in the compound that you just came back from a mission. You are taken down the usual route to your torture chamber, where you would lose the only memory that you have been able to reclaim since you’ve been brought here. You don’t even know your own name, only knowing the words soldat and belladonna that are meant to grab your attention. You can’t feel any life, plant or human, in this whole facility. You know that they bring you to Siberia to wipe your memory, so you can’t use any soil to grow vines to stop them. But you also know that anyone that works for Hydra has virtually no soul, no human qualities that they could use to justify using any sort of abuse when it comes to you.

You mind begins to drift when you feel yourself being ushered into the room with your personal hell chair, waiting specifically for you. You see a group of scientists that you vaguely recognize surround the chair, all murmuring amongst themselves, preparing to strip you of any humanity once more.

Strapped into the metal cuffs, one of the scientists gives you the mouth guard. It is misshaped, and it still vaguely tastes of someone else’s spit, you just don’t know who. You feel the metal plates press against your temples, and you suck a deep breath of air in, making a suckling noise against the large mouth guard that feels more like a muzzle.

As soon as the machine powers on, you begin to scream. White hot searing pain rips through your skull, but instead of completely succumbing to the numbing process, you try to suppress any attempts to rip away the one memory you have. You think about the woman that sat beside you on the couch, the one who was able to to make your emotionless husk of a body flush at the thought of her words to you. You try to remember her plump lips, the curve of her cheekbone, and every single detail you could dig up. However, the pain is so intense, the image of her starts to fizzle away, being fried from your brain like a cauterized wound. Just as you were about the forget about this woman that you will never see again, you hear rounds of gunfire ring out. You are unable to open your eyes, still howling in agony. All the sudden the pain stops, and you are able to let out shaky gasp. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to memorize the woman, and you still can visualize her. Tears prick at your waterline, thankful you were able to remember her. A voice breaks you from your brain fog.

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

You jump in your restraints, scared by the unusual greeting. Your eyes flutter open, and you see two people, a man and a woman looking at you with incredible concern. You also see all the scientists and guards unconscious, or dead, on the ground. The man is very tall, with what appears to be a prosthetic arm, stirring a sense of familiarity in you that you can’t quite place. The red-haired woman has glowing red hands, with a similarly color-schemed outfit to match. You are unsure of what to say, so you opt for the only sentence that won’t make you get hurt. You try to straighten yourself, looking at the man with the long hair.

“Я готов отвечить,”

Ready to comply.

#marvel #mcu #marvel x reader #mcu fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x hydra!reader #bucky barnes x hydra!enhanced!reader #bucky barnes x enhanced!reader #sebastian stan x reader smut #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #belladonna

[yostresswritinggirl]

Readers: We want Red Xiao x Reader x Green Xiao content PLEASE

Exiled: Well yes but actually no

+

Intermittent

Pairing -> Red/Green Xiao x Reader

Word Count -> 2088

Themes -> Okay, get this: Fluff, Angst, Suggestive scene (but not too bad). It's a trifecta.

Series -> #SojournerSpecials (masterlist)

Credit: @m370N4 for Header

Warnings -> Spoilers, violence, oh gawd there's so many violence

Your lover is going through a phase.

Perhaps you should have expected this much after the things that he's gone through, and the things that he is going through. The Archon War does not pick its victims. Saints and sinners, weak and strong, participants and bystanders; they all have one thing in common, they all can die any day now as the war rages on.

The thought of impending doom puts your heart into great unease as your arms tighten, lips softly pecking the red diamond on the Yaksha's forehead as he sighs in what you hope was relief.

The adepti are strong and aid in this war under the stead of Rex Lapis, but on the forefront of greater danger leads the Yakshas. The fateful battle between Osial and the Geo Archon ended not too long ago to put an end against the Lord's destructive ministrations, but Gods do not die, only slumber; his hatred in great intensities brought forth demonic plague that now haunts the blood bathed lands of Liyue. With his indispensable power and contractual obligation, Xiao became one of the five known Yakshas devoted to conquering those evil.

You were no beast in the battlefield but alongside Cloud Retainer and Ganyu you hold well in ensuring the well-being of mankind, but you only wish there was anything you can do to help the true warriors of the Harbour.

"How are you feeling?" You ran your hands through his chopped hair as his body leans against you, still tense. Xiao produces a strangled groan upon the question, a sound you still have yet to grow accustomed to.

It was a side effect even the glorified Archon did not expect. Yet it was too late to back down from the duties, to turn away from the chaos.

"Still standing, nothing I cannot handle," leaning away from your hold, his honey eyes then sets upon yours in gentle reassurance. Exposed fingers softly brushing against your cheekbone reminiscent of a flutter, so light it sends your heart into a faster pace. "And on your end? I have heard of the mortals establishing a new type of governance, how is it faring?"

Xiao hooks his fingers under your chin in full attention, and the pairing with his tantalizing smile sent your mind melting. "It's going-," your cleared your throat of the strangled pitch you produced and tried again, "Going great! Ganyu made it her duty to oversee it as the secretary."

"That is a fine arrangement." He hums inquisitively but you both know his attention was on somewhere else, what with the way his sharp orbs kept flickering to gaze on your lips. And with how his face was slowly, surely drawing near.

"Indeed, indeed." Breathed you as you closed your eyes, ready to capture his lips for a longing kiss, his other hand rests on your lower back to guide you to his lap—

When the shutter doors slammed open, the interruption causing you to yelp as Xiao embarrassingly hides your head to his exposed chest. That did NOT lessen the warmth of your cheeks.

"Conqueror of Demons! I- I'm sorry to interrupt-"

"Pervases, go on."

"The Yaksha of flames-" A rumbling roar of a scream had all three of you shoot your heads up in alert. And within seconds you had scrambled to your feet, rushing out of the shrine to investigate the commotion. The atmosphere had you choking from the scent of arson, black smoke erupting from the burning grass and natural flora around the area.

But in the middle of the ruins had you almost dispelling the contents of your stomach, your hand shooting up to cover your mouth at the the sight. Besides you Xiao dashes past in a vain attempt to quell the flames— the lick of fire that burned the Pyro Yaksha whole, who screams in both agony and anguish over the deep unknown, skin and clothes turning black and charred.

Xiao's swings barely made a dent to the wall of fire that prevents anyone from coming close to the Yaksha. "Please, leave me alone! Let me go! Stop it!" There was an illusionary sense to her words as she screams at the empty void in front and within her, piercing and aching. You called for her name, shouted, in hopes that she may snap out of it.

Dried up tears came upon her ruby gaze as it flickers over to yours. She heard you. Her lips quivered into those of familiarity and she opens her mouth- only to scream her loudest, one last painful cry, as her body drops as a smoking corpse.

Charred and pure black. Twitching and steaming, but not alive.

You didn't realize you were crying until you felt the comfort of Xiao's hand wiping at your cheek, his red fingerless gloves catching the dampness as you released your sobs.

You didn't notice the gradual decrease of red in his clothing until you looked at him one day without feeling a pang on your chest. When you looked at him with only curiousity upon him calling your name, he offered a smile as he cups your cheek; it didn't feel like the same traumatic time when the Yaksha died, your cheek leaning on his cerulean palm.

It wasn't red. Maybe that's what drove away your thoughts.

"It looks good on you," you mumbled as you watched his now black and green hair sway from the breeze.

"Thank you."

The clouds of Jueyun Karst brings peace to all that gazes on it. That may be the reason why it was Menogias' favorite place to sit by upon finishing her duties for the day, and at times she invites you over when you are done with your own; 'your presence soothes me, it's unfair that Xiao gets to keep you to himself, even if he is your lover!' you giggle at the verbatim the Hydro Yaksha always spouts everytime she drags you away from the other, with a cute yet teasing pout on her pristine face.

Those moments always has you laughing guiltily as you wave to Xiao, who only dons a gentle smile at you two's dynamic.

But she was beautiful and elegant despite her slaughtering hands, with a mind vivid and witty.

And so you find peace next to her, as both of your hands weave cloth into apparels to calm your minds. She had always been an avid fan of stitching and knitting even her own clothes, the only reason you knew how to weave the needle was because of her incessant teachings. Right now she knits a sleeve of beautiful patterns while you took on the duty to make a wooly scarf. Jueyun Karst is cold.

"How are you faring, dear? I have heard you and Xiao-" your hands paused at the implications, "-were witness to the passing of the Yaksha Indarias. Changes are glaring among that of the Conqueror of Demons, but you are a special case who is not under the influence of the karmic binds."

Her cold blue gaze seem to pierce your soul unintentionally and you couldn't bring yourself to look upon them.

You gulped and ceased on finishing the blanket to look at her own work. It was pretty. Tiring and fearful, not just for yourself, but for her too. And especially Xiao.

She holds you close in a soft embrace as you poured your honest confessions; it felt unfair for them to suffer like this, driven to self-destruction or to eternal agony. Menogias strokes your hair affectionately as she reassures your worries.

After all, they knew their oath would come to this.

And they still honored their duties to protect Liyue, for both the mortals and the realm of the Adepti.

"H-How about you?" You sniffled, looking up at her now gentle gaze. "Have you been feeling well? I don't want you to be destroyed by your own mind too."

The Yaksha's gracious smile parts after a pause to finally reply, when a glint from the side suddenly interrupted your peace-

azure pupils dilated upon recognition;

your body flies back upon her powerful push;

blood spurs from her right thigh as a jagged pillar of rock pierces through;

your back and hitting the cliff's compact ground as your vision swims.

No, no, no, no, you recognize that glow even if it was similar to another. Your body whimpers as you struggle to get up, rolling to your side to see the inevitable— the floating silhouette of the Geo Yaksha raises his arm where an orb glows over it, a single eye glows from his shadow...

The last you saw was the flash of neons and black before the world was engulfed by a blinding light.

The next thing you know you were desperately trying not to puke as you cradled the mawled and still bleeding corpse of Menogias, weakly patting her cheeks as your desperate attempts to wake her- to convince yourself that she was still alive. That the spears of stones impaled through numerous part of her body was nonexistent.

Behind you Xiao flicks his head to the side as his mask disperses. His jade spear dripping with blood as her gentle eyes hardened as it squeezes out the tears.

"(Y/N)," your wails turned into whimpers and hiccups, loose arms wrapping around your waist as Xiao pulls you away from the bloody mess. You didn't have the spirit to protest, your eyes still trained on the deceased Yaksha's face as you wept in your lover's arms.

A familiar censer that wasn't there before hangs by his waist.

And when the pain didn't make you weep anymore, a beautifully woven sleeve of blue and clouds adorn his left arm. Those who live after a millenia would not be aware of a reminiscent and deep scar hidden beneath it.

"I was not aware you were out of your domain," the moment he landed, a firm hand grasps your waist to keep you steady on the balcony's railings. Where you're currently perched on, precariously.

You were still unused to the purple cloth that flows behind him. But it matches the wind that comes with him, and the beautiful clashes of colors that makes up who he is now. He was not reminiscent of the red gentleness that he was 2000 years ago, but a teal shadow that lingers at the edges of your vision as a blur.

"I wanted to thank you for purging the malignant monsters that haunted my domain by the cavern," your gaze falls away from the moon as you swing your legs up and over, turning to face the Inn and him yet still remaining seated on the railing.

His eyes were hostile, not at all indicative of the lightness it had long ago. Chest covered in white, and the many memorabilias that dangle with him. Xiao's hands rests on the railing by your side as your fingertip traces the Vajra hanging by his neck, chunky to pointy; Pervases, the name leaves your lips in a whisper.

A guttural growl leaves him in intensity that had you reeling yet still worried for him. Behind his lidded eyes were pure hurt from the fear you conveyed, but he shook his head at all the thoughts that invades. Xiao lets loose a tired yet mocking laugh, "I just remembered something unpleasant."

Before he can turn back to gaze at your ethereal form, you've thrown your arms around his head to pull him against your chest. Your grip and uneven heartbeat alerted him of your will to not cry at his misfortune; such sympathy is wasted on him, yet he wraps his arms around you close in a gentleness that once again reflects his deepest trait.

"...your blessings, not your flaws."

At the sound of your familiar lyrics, as if with a mind of its own, the tension on his shoulders drop immediately into your warmth.

"You've got it all, you lost your mind in the sound;

There's so much more, you can reclaim your crown;

You're in control, rid of the monsters inside your head;

Put all your faults to bed."

Urged the strokes of your hand on his head, the voices quiet into almost nothingness. The Conqueror of Demons smiles again.

"You can be king again."

To the realm of the Adepti and those who knows even the slightest of him, it was nothing to debate about when it is claimed that you were the real reason that the golden-winged king, the Conqueror of Demons— that Xiao still exists today.

If you recognize the song 🤝 big sad

@moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji @gojos-baby @just-some-stars @volleybloop @kookieyachi @xiaophilia @bunniesrorange @anormalguyreader @scarletroseneko

#genshin impact x reader #Xiao x reader #genshin impact Xiao #exile.flower #Angst #Fluff #segcy #Xiao² #I have given in to the temptation #gender neutral #xiao genshin impact #sojourner special

[earthlyyan]

Little Trainee (Platonic(?)Yan! Childe x Reader)

For @bye-bye-sunbird (thanks again for your help) Warnings: Abuse, Graphic descriptions of violence, Implied Torture, Eye Trauma, Unhealthy Sibling relationships, Childe being a sadist, Kidnapping? If you squint? Imprisonment? Betrayal 

Word Count: 3084

________________________________________________________________

He was gone.

Tartaglia held his younger brother’s fur-lined cap in his calloused hands, bringing it close to his chest. He’d taken off without it, wanting to be as far away from the killer that was his big brother so badly, he’d neglected to dress for the cold.

Despite his best efforts, Tartaglia had been unable to find him, and though tempted, he had refused to get the Fatui involved. It would further remind Teucer that his brother’s job was a terrifying one, too dark for the mind of a child to fully grasp. A child’s mind would never truly grasp why he had to kill, only that he had taken the life of another. And how that was an unforgivable sin.

He’d requested a day off work to prevent him from making any rash decisions on duty. He’d spent the day wandering aimlessly, desperately trying to gather his thoughts. He’d found himself in the familiar shambles of Dunyu Ruins. Perhaps he’d take out his frustrations on some ruin guards, or at least he’d considered it, until he saw you.

*

In and out and in and out.

Your sword found its way into the ruin guards eye again and again. It had been dead after the first thirteen stabs, but you didn’t care.

Your thrusts were becoming harder to maintain, your shallow breaths and sore arms halting your rage filled pursuit. Your legs straddled its large, heavy body, thick vines restrained its arms and legs.

It killed him. It killed your brother. The laser sliced his body while simultaneously cauterizing the wound, leaving him in two, unable to bleed. His face still frozen in that of agonizing pain.

It was going to kill you as well until a blinding green light appeared before you; a dendro vision.

You didn’t know how you did it, but now it was dead, and the gift of the archons laid on the ground before you. You hated it.

A gift of the gods, what a fucking joke.

You choked back the urge to vomit at the rancid scent before removing your sword from the gaping glass wound.

You kicked the hunk of metal as hard as you could before losing your balance and falling back onto the ground.

A man stood there; a couple years older than you. You’d fallen right at his feet.

He wordlessly helped you up off the ground before clearing his throat, as if to clear the air with it.

“You know, I’ve never seen someone receive a vision before.” His voice was light and airy. “I had been walking when it’s light blinded me. I regret not showing up sooner.”

You refused to look at the strange man, his words not registering. Your mind was too busy trying to process what had just happened.

“Hey,” His voice was louder, shaking you from your stunned stupor. He held out a handkerchief from his pocket. “You should probably get out of—”

“He’s dead.”

The man’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

“That thing killed him. He’s dead.” Your words were empty. You contemplated if you should be feeling anything else other than thinly veiled anger and disgust. You should’ve been sadder. The only thing you had felt at the time of you mindlessly stabbing the guard was desperation for your own survival, and fear that it would get up again. You were revolted at the sight of the corpse before you, but you weren’t terribly torn up about the death in itself. And that disgusted you.

Anyone else would’ve been. Anyone would’ve been devastated if they had watched their own kin get cut in two. But no, you were more worried about what you’d tell your mother.

You walked over to the remains of your brother and poked it with your foot, your blatant disrespect for the dead caught the man off guard. Your gut did flips in your stomach at the gruesome sight.

“You don’t seem too upset about it.” He seemed to lack the same feeling of fear at the sight of a corpse. You didn’t quite know how to feel about that. “Though, you don’t seem like you’ve got the guts to orchestrate it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughed. “The way you kept stabbing the poor ruin guard made me think it was self-defense, and that the death was an accident. But the fact that you’re not devastated at his death made me wonder that you did it intentionally.”

“And if it was?” “Then I think I’d applaud your ambition.”

*

The man introduced himself as Childe, a member of the Snezhnayan organization called the Fatui. He claimed to be a warrior of sorts, and that he had gone to Dunyu Ruins to take out some frustrations he had one some ruin guards. He then had stumbled across you stabbing a lifeless robot corpse.

He had treated you to lunch in Liyue, saying that leaving you to stew in your thoughts after witnessing something of that caliber was ill-advised.

“What were you doing in Dunyu Ruins?”

“My brother wanted to do something there. He wouldn’t tell me what it was.” You mumbled.

“And the sword?”

“The sword I have with me was the one he was carrying, but when his torso disconnected from his legs, his scabbard landed close to me. So I thought I might as well use it.” You stirred your soup with your spoon, not having much of an appetite.

“So why did he have the sword?”

“Archons know.” You sighed. “If I’m being frank, I think he was going to kill me.”

Childe lowered his tigerfish from his mouth. A light laugh left his lips, startling you. “What makes you think that?”

“I was father’s favorite, though I am the younger of the two of us. So when he found out he had left the inheritance to me instead of his eldest son, he thought it unfair.” You reluctantly brought the spoon to your lips and swallowed. “We had never gotten along; I was like a punching bag than his younger sibling.”

“And I suppose that’s why you’re not crying and mourning the loss?” His voice was mocking.

“Well, would you?”

Childe hummed. “I’m not sure, family is family, but…” his voice lowered into an inaudible mumble, pondering.

He was silent for a moment. He took a few bites of his grilled tigerfish. His eyes wandered to the scabbard at your hip. “You don’t know how to fight.”

“What? Where did this come from?” He hadn’t even finished his thought from before.

“The way you were holding the sword as you used it to kill the ruin guard was way off. Had you kept going, you could’ve gotten hurt. If you had held it properly you could still be stabbing it now. If you didn’t get that vision when you did, it could’ve killed you with how poorly you were handling yourself.”

“That’s the whole point of getting bestowed a vision. Saving you when you’re on the brink of death or something like that.” You shoved your spoon in your mouth again.

“Yes, true.” He sighed and set down the now empty skewer. “But if you hadn’t gotten it you would’ve ended up like—” “Okay jeez I get it!” You grumbled around the metal in your mouth. “What are you getting at?”

“Luckily for you, I’m quite skilled at the sword.” His chest puffed in pride. “And it’s not like you’re going to go home with half a brother in tow, yes?”

“So you want to train me? What good does that do you?” “I’ve always wanted to train someone in a weapon.” He smiled, though there was a tinge of sadness in his voice. Like he was looking forward to it before the invitation presented itself. “And now, I can.”

*

You were on the ground again, some shallow, superficial cuts littered your body, Childe’s blade inches from your throat.

“You left yourself open again. I told you this weeks ago and yet you can’t get it.” A disappointed sigh escaped his lips as he pinged the bridge of his nose. “Hunch, keep your legs apart, again.”

Some part of you wondered if Childe got off on hearing your groans and hisses when he slashed you. Something about the way he bounced on his legs and the way his grin seemed more genuine had you worried.

You slowly got yourself off the ground, your bones and muscles creaking in protest as you readied your brother’s blade again.

“If you’re sore it means its working.” His laugh echoed as he lunged himself at you again, leaving you a moment notice to swerve out of the way. “If you weren’t sore before it means you were doing it wrong.” He dodged an oncoming attack from your sword and swept your legs, leaving you on the floor again. Yup, he was definitely getting off on this.

*

Three months under Childe’s tutelage toned your body significantly. He seemed to be more eager to fight you these days. Saying that you were finally getting fun to fight or something like that.

“Despite your form issues in the beginning, you’re practically a natural.” He beamed as he extended a hand to you. “Fighting you is actually fun these days, and less boring.”

“It was boring before?” You were borderline insulted.

“Fighting against you was boring. Seeing you grow and mature as a fighter was interesting.”

“Uh huh.” You wiped the sweat from your brow. “Sure.”

He’d been gracious enough to let you room at his house. And for someone of his age, it was quite impressive for him to have one of this stature. You had your own room across the hall from his. He only had two rules when staying with him.

One: The lower levels were off limits. No matter what. He said that it had to do with his work, and that it would be unprofessional of him to allow someone to interfere.

Two: Don’t ask about his work.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about it. Sometimes he’d leave for days on end and come back beat up, other times you’d hear noises from the lower levels.

They sounded like screams.

You wondered what he’d have to do for a living to hear such noises from below. Sometimes he’d go down for hours and come up itching for a fight with you, other times he’d leave satisfied and covered in blood. You’d wondered if it was his own.

Something about it didn’t sit right with you, but a fight with Childe was not one you wanted to engage in. He’d know all your moves, considering he’d been the one to teach them to you. Whenever you’d try to bring it up, you’d be shut down with an uncharacteristic coldness from him. One that barely used, only when he was talking about his work, that is.

But tonight the screams were louder. They reached your room in the depths of the night, even with the door closed and pillows blocking your ears. You had to know.

You were sick of being left in the dark here, you were sick of hearing those screams from downstairs. You had to know.

Were you training under a serial killer? Childe didn’t seem like the type, or was he?

The strange amount of pleasure he’d get when watching you get hurt by his hand. The ruthless way he’d slaughter hillichurls and treasure hoarders alike. No matter who or what it was, its death was no different to Childe. It seemed to light him ablaze, having him itching for a fight with anything that moved, and when it stopped moving, he’d be disappointed.

 The screams had died down after a few hours. You had to wait until you heard his boots go back upstairs and into the room across the hall.

You had to be more quiet if you were going to get in and out of there before he noticed you.

After these escapades he would take a shower, the running water would be enough to cover your footsteps going down the hall, truly.

A minute after the shower started running you made your move. It was easy to pick out what door led to the basement, due to the sheer amount of deadbolts and locks keeping it closed. He’d left the key in the door, probably to stop whoever was in the basement from looking through the keyhole. Smart move for him when it came to living alone, but with company, it was practically begging to be used.

And use it you did. Deadbolt after deadbolt, you finally turned the key.

The basement was warm and sweet smelling. But not in the pleasant way sweets were supposed to smell.

It made your stomach ache and twist as you descended the staircase, closing the door behind you.

The clinking of chains got your attention before the sight of blood had. The lights had flickered on, illuminating the sight before you. You couldn’t hold back your vomit anymore.

Your suspicions were right, or so it seemed, with the sheer amount of bodies below. One was still living, trembling, and hunching away from you. “Did Childe do this?” You knew the answer but had to be sure. Perhaps it was an associate he worked with, or some weird fetish.

The man nodded, “I didn’t have enough money.”

“What?”

“To pay back the Northland Bank.” He stammered. “I couldn’t pay them back, so they sent him.”

“He’s a debt collector?”

The man shook his head. “No. He doesn’t care about collecting the debt, not like the others.”

There were others?

“He gets sent in after the warning deadlines are up. You pay with your—”

The man abruptly stopped, looking past you and onto the stairwell. Then he couldn’t see at all.

An arrow flew past you, barely grazing your ear before finding itself in the mans eye socket. He slumped to the ground, lifeless. You whizzed around to meet the source, only to find Childe, an arrow drawn taught in the bow you’d barely see leave his side.

“Well that’s disappointing.” He sighed. “I was hoping to make him last another day.” He grimaced. “That was a warning shot, by the way.” He walked down the stairs slowly, still aiming at you. “Put your back to the wall.”

He almost sounded sad. You were too shocked to move.

An arrow landed at your feet, standing straight up against the ground. “I said ­put your back to the wall. That wasn’t a suggestion.”

You tripped over the man’s corpse while making it to the wall. “Childe I—” “Nope, too late for that. Hands up.” He slowly lowered his weapon and made a show of putting it away. He wanted you to know he still had it. He leaned in close to your face. “Now that’s a look I haven’t seen in quite some time.” His voice was low, husky. “Betrayal looks so good on you.”

You could feel his hot breath on your neck. You growled and threw your head forward, colliding with his. He took a step back.

Blood ran down from his forehead, his eyes practically glowing with excitement. “Oh hoh~ Now that’s what I’m talking about. A real fight from you.” He drew hydro blades from his sides and threw one at you. “I’m expecting improvement from you, my little trainee.”

You picked up the cool blade from your feet, never breaking eye-contact with him. “I’ll kill you.”

“You better hope you do. For your sake, at least.” You lunged at him, swiftly finding your way behind him, ready to strike.

“Your stance has gotten better.” He smiled. “But I’m afraid it still leaves you open” He kicked off from the ground and into the air, his foot collided with your chin sending you reeling.

“You bastard.” You hissed, picking yourself off from the ground with the steadiness of a newborn deer. “Why not be more quiet about your escapades down here? If you’d had your victims quiet down, I would’ve never found about what you were doing.”

“I never said I never wanted you to find out what I was doing.” He ran at you again, slicing your shirt and your left shoulder along with it. “I was hoping you’d have enough faith in your teacher to follow my rules.” He sighed. “I didn’t take you for the curious type.”

“I’m not.” You said, you swept at his leg, but he narrowly escaped, jumping just high enough to miss it. “But I enjoy liking to sleep in peace knowing my upperclassmen isn’t a serial killer.”

“I’m no serial killer!” He laughed, landing a cut to your lower back, then stepping hard on it. You fell to the ground trapped under his heel. “I’m simply following orders. I have nothing against these people.” He pressed harder.

You suppressed a scream.

“I do have a problem with those who interfere. You were going to help him, weren’t you?”

You’d be lying if you said you were going to leave him to die.

“Weren’t you?” His voice was closer to your ear this go round.

“Yes! Yes, I was!” You sobbed. “I just wanted to—”

“I’ve heard this before. Suddenly you have the moral upright to save a dying stranger? But you sat back and kicked your brother’s corpse?”

“That was different!” “Sure it was. A man is a man is a man, yeah?” His foot lifted from your back and turned you onto your stomach. “See the difference between me and a serial killer, is that if I was a serial killer, I probably would kill you right now.” He sighed. “But see, I like you. So I think I’ll let you live. Though don’t expect things to go back to normal. I can’t expect you to stay quiet and continue your training in the open alongside me.” He leaned you up against the wall, easily fighting against your protests. He took your wrists and cuffed them to the wall.

The restraints were still warm.

You shuddered.

“See, here’s the thing.” He said. He cupped your cheek with his spare hand. “I don’t want to leave you the way you are, half trained. I do enjoy fighting you.” He finished tying you upright and smiled, admiring his handiwork. “I’ll let you go under one condition.”

For the first time since you’d met him, his smile finally reached his eyes.

“You’re free if you can kill me.”

#yandere writing #genshin #yandere genshin impact #yandere childe #yandere genshin x reader #reader insert #childe x reader #genshin tartagalia #tw: violence #tw: injury #tw: graphic depictions of violence

[lemonjoonah]

Blood Bounty - Part 1 (M)

Pairings: Yoongi x Reader, Taehyung x Reader Word Count: 10K Rating: M Genre: Historical fantasy AU, Vampire AU, Thriller, Drama, Smut Warnings: Non-consensual vampire feeding (graphic, provocative, sexual, blood play, and twisted as fuck), captivation/enslavement, blood, drugging (force feeding vampire blood), obsession, violence, PTSD, at one point the OC pleads for death, it’s dark guys you’ve been warned. While the vampire feeding in this part is highly sexualized, I do have somewhat more “traditional” smut scenes planned for part 2 and 3.

| Series Masterlist |

Summary: He’s taken everything from you, your blood, your memories, your life, and after months spent as Taehyung’s own personal feast, you eagerly take your chance to flee. Unfortunately your escape doesn’t go as well as you had hoped, as you are soon caught by another blood thirsty beast. The vampire Yoongi claims to know you, and that he wishes to return you home. But when you can only remember the pain caused by his kind, you find it difficult to trust him, since he too could just be another monster waiting to feed.

A/N: This mini-series is a loose retelling of Anastasia, you’ll find it to be very different from the animated film. I attempted to blend both the history and the story together in a new historical fantasy world that is not our own. Anyway I hope you enjoy the start to my three part twisted tale, and if you have any questions at the end please feel free to send them my way! Also a big thank you to my beta readers @m00nchild-shi​ and @ladyartemesia​. This story wouldn’t have made it this far without you!

This story is dedicated to all of those who have lost themselves to a monster (of any form) at some point in their life. I know the journey back to yourself can be hard, but trust me, you are worth every effort. 

...  

From the break of dawn you’ve crossed miles of ground, traversing through grassy fields and deep rivers. Accompanied only by the clothes on your back, a stake in your hand, and a pair of boots far too big for your feet, all stolen during your hastened departure. 

You consider yourself lucky after making it out unseen. Lucky that Taehyung had left his fortress of a castle, lucky that he took most of his capable progenies with him, lucky that the underling who tended to your room left the fire iron within your reach, and lucky that it was able to break the chain of the shackle fastened around your wrist. You left as soon as daylight broke. With everything working in your favour for your escape, even acquiring your captor’s clothes and cap to pass off as a young man. For sightings of a woman travelling alone might tip off those you would rather avoid.  

But now, with your heels raw and bloody, it would seem that your good fortune has finally run out, as the smell will no doubt attract his hunters. You curse your carelessness, for the number of times Taehyung has complimented you for your most potent scent. You’ve witnessed it yourself, a single whiff of your blood during his feedings having sent several of his men into a frenzy. This unfortunate blessing left you to be seen as a bounty, condemning you to his captivity, and now the struggle as you flee for your life. 

You attempt to clean the broken skin and stem the flow with strips torn from your tunic. The fine piece of clothing is barely recognizable after the paces you’ve put it through today. With the extra fabric now wedged into your boots you can only hope that it’ll make your journey tomorrow easier, and detain much of the scent that would allow them to track you. 

You wish that you could continue on tonight, but the darkness of the wood, your sores, and your fatigue impede your plans. You’ve gained ground but the lack of settlements must mean that you still lie within his realm. With your memories stolen in an effort to keep you at his side you have little to go on but a tapestry that hung in his den. It showed a city to the east, beyond the boundary of his land, and what is hopefully your home. But with the woven display having no proper scale you have no idea how long it will take to actually leave his territory. Freedom could be hours or days away.  You can only hope that the rivers you’ve traversed will keep them at bay until you can find a safer place to stay. Their weaknesses are all you have to lean on to prevent recapture, but will it be enough?

After tending to your feet you settle in the nook of a tree, leaning your head against the mossy trunk. Your stomach growls but you have no food to feed it, nor a blanket to dismiss the chilling wind which forces a shiver from you. Your deflated spirit is made even worse when a raven takes notice of your poor state. It circles overhead, undoubtedly looming with the hopes that you have given in, and that he too can feast on you. 

Ignoring the omen, you close your eyes, directing your focus instead on the surrounding sounds of the forest, listening for anything that might be a predator making an approach. Despite an exhausting day you still are wary of sleep, knowing what will greet you as you drift off, and concern of someone, or something catching up to you once you do. You rest there for what must be an hour, debating with yourself the advantages slumber, before you hear the snap of a nearby twig. Your fingers drift to the wooden stake on the ground next to you, your movement is slow hoping to escape the notice of whatever might be drawing closer. The footsteps which crunch on the leaves continue to advance on your position. There’s no running now, all you can do is play ignorance until they are in range for you to act.

When a hand reaches down and tilts the brim of your hat, you open your eyes, driving your weapon up in an aim to strike, but your assailant is too quick for you. He catches your arm in an iron grip, much like the remains of the manacle that still holds your other wrist. Though his face is hidden by the dark of night and his frame draped in a long coat, there is no doubt about what he is, and what he’s come for, his speed in stopping you was far too fast to be human.

“Be still,” the monster growls. “It’s me, Yoongi. Are you hurt?”

His concern is almost laughable. His implication of a connection likely a trap, one intent on luring you in, with a motive to end the hunt. “Not if you leave me be.” You attempt to press the stake towards him still, but he barely even registers your efforts. 

“Have you forgotten me?” The beast’s grip tightens on your arm as he dismisses your threat, taking the stake in his own hand before he pulls you up while he continues his deception, “I know that to be what I asked for, but I didn’t think... no, it matters not. ” He shakes his head as his words trail off. His voice then returns resolute and firm once he changes thoughts. “Come, we must get you somewhere safe.”

You dig your heels into the ground as he attempts to pull you along, clawing at his fingers until they release you. “I’m not going anywhere with you vampire. You will not take me back to him, anywhere is safer than there.”

“I am not taking you back, but we must leave. They’ve already placed a large bounty on you and these parts will be flooded with hunters soon.” 

“How can I be sure you’re not one of those hunters?” You make an attempt to retake the stake, showing you have no intention of complying with him. But he pulls it back, holding it just out of your grasp.

“You will have to take me at my word, I am not of Taehyung’s kin and I have no plans on handing you back over to him. Now if you please, I can either escort you to safety, or take you there by force.”

“I don’t trust you.” You glare back at him.

“Very well,” the vampire sighs, tossing your wooden weapon aside, putting it far beyond your reach. He then bends down, throwing you easily over his shoulder, and thereby ending the argument over your fate. Your fists collide with his back several times in an effort to make him release you, but he doesn’t appear bothered by the attack. You draw breath ready to call out when he stops you with a quick jostle. His shoulder lays into your abdomen knocking the wind from your lungs. “You may hit me all you want, but do not scream. I would rather not alert others to our location.”

Could he really not be someone sent by Taehyung’s underlings? Regardless, even if he is, you don’t have the strength to over power him. There’s little you can do but lay like a rag doll propped over his shoulder, with his arm hooked on the back of your knees. 

He hauls you over to a break in the trees, one which leads out to the road where a horse waits patiently for him. You’re thankful when he seats you on the saddle rather than throwing you on your stomach once again. With the full light of the moon on the open dirt road, you’re finally able to see his face properly. His soft and sombre expression is a drastic difference compared to Taehyung’s sharp features and cruel grin.

“Are you going to behave now princess?”

Your eyes widen with terror in response to his last word uttered. You immediately try to pull away to put as much distance as you can between you and him, but he holds you firm in the saddle. The confining grip matching the memories of the name he has just called you all too well. Your breathing comes in short panicked waves as your hand moves to conceal the scar on your neck. You can’t go back, you won’t go back, you refuse to endure that supposed term of endearment anymore. 

“Prin-” The vampire tries again to elicit a response from you, only this time you cut him off. Your fear turning to anger unwilling to tolerate another lie from his lips. 

“If you are not one of Taehyung’s clan then tell me, why do you address me in that manner?”

“You don’t know why I call you princess?” He gazes upon you, his eyes narrowed in confusion as you recoil once again. This time he takes your hand, which bears the weight of both the iron shackle and bitten brand, to hold you still. When you wince from the pressure of his touch, he looks down to examine the sensitive spot. His jaw stiffens as he finds the source of the pain. “What has he done to you?” He whispers softly as his fingers trail over the wound on your palm. 

...

“Open up princess, I have a gift for you,” Taehyung orders, standing over you as you sit on his desk. Gripping your jaw, while your lips remain sealed in defiance. “I said open.” His hand tightens, forcing your mouth to unfasten and expel a cry of pain. He presses the bloody tip of his finger to your tongue, dragging his index from the back to the front coating it with the thick fluid. “Now swallow.”

Your mouth begins to salivate with the intrusion of his blood. You know if you take it in you will lose everything once again, you’ll lose the will you’ve been building back up to defy him. He is never truly out of your system, you still have gaps in yourself, but the need to disobey always has its way of creeping back to you first. To be forced back into obedience within your own body and mind is nothing short of torture. 

You refuse to allow him to drag you back to the dark willingly, spitting your saliva along with his blood into his smug expression.

Taehyung chuckles darkly as he wipes his face with the back of his hand. “You’re right my princess. How could I think that only a drop would be enough to dispel your greed? You deserve more.” 

This time he bites into his hand allowing the blood to pool, while the other takes hold of your neck. The dripping flesh of his palm covers your gasping mouth. Your head is tilted back by his grasp as the blood drains down the back of your throat. 

“You will keep this down. You will accept my control. Every time you look at yourself you will think of me. When you close your eyes you will dream of me, for you can not run away only toward. You will remember nothing before me, and nothing before the night I bestow you with this.” His thumb passes over a three month old scar on your neck, continuing to mark it as the cornerstone of the earliest memory you possess.

Every week without fail he reweaves his bonds inside you, tending to them as a doting hunter with a valued prey. He takes his fill of you in between, sometimes it’s only a taste and others a full meal. Treating his desk as a dining table and you the feast, placing you down upon it for his consumption. 

“I will have to leave you weak in the knees today princess if I must go without you for a fortnight.” His finger catches a drop of blood that escapes your mouth running it back along your lips before his hand moves away and down, trailing deep red lines down the skin of your jaw and neck. “I’m sorry to leave, but there are some pressing matters which I must attend to.” He portrays a look of sorrow, but you know better than to believe that he can possess a single human emotion.  “You’ll be good while I’m gone won’t you? Shall I give you something to remember me by? Another mark unhealed for you to see? You can watch as it slowly means, knowing that I’ll be back to tear you open again.” 

He lifts your hand to his face with his own bloody fingers. How you wish you could slap him away, but your body refuses to move on your behalf, after consuming his blood it yields only to him.  

He does not hesitate before sinking his teeth into the base of your palm. Matching his own wound that he inflicted on himself, but as yours grows deeper, his begins to heal. He takes a long draft before releasing in a pant. Your blood acts like a drug to his system, making him as he so often puts it, ‘Feel alive again.’ 

He wipes his palm on yours allowing the breach to clot, he doesn’t mend it completely, instead leaving the painful imprint of his teeth, branding you anew, just as promised. “Appetizer, now entree Princess,” he mutters as he moves on, shifting to cradle your head and neck in his arms. You attempt to pull away, but that only forces him to issue the command, “Stay still.” 

His face hovers over the pulse of your neck, with you now frozen beneath. His fangs are careful not to dive too deep, retracting just as the blood begins to trickle from your throat. It collects in the well of your collar and trails down your chest, seeping beneath the bodice of your dress. The white fabric of your garment starts to bloom with scarlet. He could have chosen a gown of darker cloth for your personal wear, one that would be less prone to display the gruesome patterns of his actions, but he prefers to see the art of your suffering, your clothes and body becoming a canvas for his great masterpiece. He mutters how beautiful it looks while his fingers add to the display, painting a ruby-red choker around your neck using the blood as a stain.

His eyes linger taking in the sight before he moves in again to collect the flow, lapping it off your skin like a beast amidst a drought. You cringe as his tongue crosses your flesh, relentless in its desire to gather every drop it can. And just when you think he’s finished it makes another pass, accompanied by a growl and another sharp nip.

Unlike your hand, he completely remedies the gash on your neck, leaving only the one scar upon your throat from his first feeding. The loss starts to hit you, your skin turning cold like his, your breathing shallow, and your pulse quick. You hope that might be the end, that he has had his fill and needs no more, but his hand then fastens on your leg having pushed up the hem of your skirt and thin petticoat. “Let me in princess, I still have room left for dessert.” His teeth skim across the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh mapping his preferred spot from your pained twitches. 

You whimper as he clamps down for his last bite. The only solace you can take is that he will not be here for two weeks. You have more time without him feeding, time to gain back control, and time to escape. You stare off to the woven tapestry map behind him, not knowing where to go but longing to be anywhere but here.

...

“D-don’t call me that.” Your demand catches and cracks at the back of your throat.

“But it’s what you are-”

“I am not his dinner, I am not his slave, and I am most certainly not his princess! I will not go back. If you have any mercy, please... drain me here. For I am far more willing to meet death, than I am to see him again. ”

To your confusion he looks shocked that you would even suggest such an act. He takes a moment before looking into your eyes with a narrowed gaze, “You don’t remember anything do you? It’s not just me you’ve forgotten.” 

You shake your head, unable to meet his eyes, “I remember nothing before him.” 

The vampire holds what’s left of the iron shackle in his hands, bending it apart with only his grip, freeing you from it’s clutches. 

There's another sigh from him as he takes the space on the saddle behind you. His body is uncomfortably close to yours, with his breath on your neck, and arms wrapped on either side to take the reins. “And I thought he could sink no lower...” He urges the horse forward with a nudge and a few mumbled words far too low for you to hear. “You are right, you are not his meal, nor his property, but it is not simply a given moniker to which I am referring, it’s what you are. You are the only living heir of a human kingdom just east of here.” 

“You lie, there is no way I could be,” This is just another game of his. It has to be. “If I am what you say, how could I have ended up where I was?” 

“You went missing, disappearing from your bed in the night. Your people assume that you were kidnapped, that you were taken by a monster, not knowing what we are. But I assure you, you are the lost pr-” He stops as you stiffen once again. “I can take you home, back to your family, back to your people, if that’s what you wish.” 

“And why would you do that?”

“I broke a promise long ago, I plan to remedy that mistake.” 

“I fail to see how that applies to me.” You mutter as you slump down in the saddle, no longer fighting your current fate. This vampire too can easily overpower you, he can take you wherever he desires to go, but as long as it’s away from Taehyung you have no wishes to slow him down.

He pulls a skin of water from his horse’s pack offering it to you. Your dry mouth wants to empty it in one swig, but the possibility of what else it could contain holds you back. You turn your nose up instead fearing that he’s drugged it with his own blood. 

“I have not tampered with it if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“You keep assuming your words carry weight with me. I will need more than that if I am to drink this.”

“If I intended to manipulate you with blood I would have done so already instead of fighting to get you on the horse.” 

He’s right, it would have been far easier. You take a careful sip rolling over your tongue, trying to detect even the slightest taste of iron before your swallow. 

He holds out food too, in the form of a few pieces of dried meat. Your mouth waters at the sight. The unaltered drink gives you the confidence to abandon your worries and take it, asking more questions while you eat. “You said I forgot you, but how was it that I knew you Yoo-” You pause trying to recall the name he led with when he found you. 

“Yoongi.”

You wait for more but he doesn’t continue, after swallowing your current mouthful you press further. “Are you not going to tell me?”

“It would be better if you remembered.”

“You expect me to trust you, but then you hide truths?” 

“I expect you to trust me because I want you to recall your truth of our encounters, not mine. When you do I will gladly discuss it with you, but not until then.” His tone is stern, boasting an air of finality to his argument.  

You huff back in frustration. “Can you at least tell me how long you’ve known me?”

“More than ten years now, you were a child of fourteen when we first met.”

“So you must know my name? My real name?” You ask with near excitement, hoping it might stir up some of your past within you.

“I do.” But as he recalls it, whispering the name for you to hear, nothing happens. You thought when you heard it again that everything would come back all at once like a spell broken by one magical word. But the name that comes from Yoongi’s lips has no meaning to you, no memory, no warmth. It bestows only a cold emptiness, a fear that you’ll never quite be able to bind yourself together with the person who bore that name before. 

...

Hours later Yoongi pulls his horse off the path and into the woods, trotting down what looks to be an overgrown trail. You finally come to a stop in front of a mound, backed by an elevation of stone and earth, bearing a small cave-like entrance.

“What is this?”  

“An old mining site. We’ll have to stop here for now.” Yoongi helps you down off the horse before removing the tackle and taking the large pack, he ties his steed up with a long lead on a grassy patch. Once finished you follow him through the dark and into the cavern, lagging a few paces behind with your legs stiff and sore from the night’s travel.

“But there’s still another hour or two until the sunrise. Why stop here?”  

“Because this is the last dark space that’s marked for the next fifteen miles.” He opens one of the bags pulling out a lantern, he lights it, dousing the cold and damp walls of the cave in a warm glow. Taking out a thick piece of paper next, he unfolds it with careful precision, laying it gently across a leather pack. He acts as though it’s a precious heirloom passed on to him from a loved one long gone. Your heart starts to race upon realization that it’s a map, and how with it’s aid you’d be able to find your own way home.  

Dark circles on the heavy parchment denote what according to the key is a resting spot. He opens it further pointing to both your current position and destination, your fingers tracing over a kingdom which he says is yours. With still three times the distance you’ve travelled yet to traverse, much of your contentment fades. 

Despite the blow to your morale, you continue your examination of the map, hoping to learn as much from it as you can. It’s beautifully intricate and precisely made, the only flaw is an ink smudge in the lower left hand corner, which appears to be a faint mirror image of the compass rose on the right. Likely the result of the map being folded before the ink had completely dried. You run your index over the blot feeling much the same. A partial imprint of your past life, and a great distance away from what you must have been. 

Yoongi watches you with a keen eye as you attempt to commit your future route to memory. “Does it look at all familiar to you?”

“No, I remember nothing of this land.” Not the names of rivers or cities return to you. How can you call a place home if you know nothing of it? “Thank you for your assistance. I know you have to stop, but after seeing this I feel that I should keep going.” You offer cordially, praying that he’ll agree to parting ways here. 

“Oh no you don’t. You’ll stay here until the sun sets, and we’ll continue together.”

“Why should I? If the sun is out I’m not at risk from vampires.”

“It is still a while before we reach your kingdom. You can see that can’t you? At least two more nights where you would be alone if I let you leave. Not to mention the risk from your own brethren. You haven’t been among other humans enough to know that they can be just as malicious.”

“Then give me your horse and I’ll out ride them.”

“When was the last time you rode a horse on your own?” He asks lowering his brow, scoffing as his tongue pokes at the side of his cheek. 

“I-I...” Naturally you can’t remember, and he knows it. “I’ll be fine.”

“Yes of course you’ll be fine, it’s not like there will be vampires nipping at your heels the whole way home. Do you know I could smell the blood trailing from your feet a mile away? I can’t imagine they are in a good state. If the horse were to unseat you and run off, would you even be able to continue?”

You wince at the thought of treading forward on foot. The blisters are already a source of great agony, it’s painful to think what they would be like after another mile or two. 

Yoongi notices the show of discomfort in your face,  “Looks like you’ll be staying with me then your highness.”

“I’d rather not...” You're grateful he’s stopped calling you by the other title, but that still doesn’t prove his loyalty. “Why are you so insistent on taking me home? What’s in this for you?”

“Your company.”

“I am serious,” you groan, casting a dark glare back at him over the candle light.

“So am I.” He mutters his response, it’s so quiet you almost miss it.

“You are insufferable! I should be taking advantage of the daylight, I should be putting more distance between myself and his prison. You should have left me there in the forest so I wouldn’t have to deal with your so-called assistance.”

“Forgive me for wanting to keep you alive and safe. It must be truly awful to have someone come to your aid.”

“You are not someone, you’re a vampire,” you bite back against his sarcasm. “I take no pleasure in being in the company of your kind.”

Yoongi sighs looking defeated, following it with an odd request. “Give me your hand, the one with the wound.”

“Why?” You clutch your palm to your chest in defence. 

“I’ll mend it properly for you, your heels too if you’d like. I want to help undo the damage that my kind has done to you. He should never have left you scarred like that.”

“He shouldn’t have fed off me in the first place!” You shout back your voice echoing off the walls.

“You’re right,” Yoongi levels with you. “But I can’t imagine you want to keep it.”

“I don’t, but I also don’t want help from you! I would rather carry this than any more of your poison. So you can keep your blood to yourself.”

“As you wish,” Yoongi responds, yet he still shifts towards you, encouraging you to back away and keep the space between you. 

“I’m not going to...” His tone sounds exasperated but soon changes to a softer register as he looks at your terror ladened face. “Just, take this.” Yoongi passes over a bed roll before pulling one out for himself from the woven pack. 

You stare at the bedding, questioning it, the convenience of such an item along with supplies all seem too good to be true. “Why would someone who travels alone have a second? Why would a vampire have a stash of water he can’t drink, and food he can’t eat?” 

“I brought them for you. I knew you would need them on the journey.” His answer comes off as thoughtful, but the explanation still doesn’t sit right with you, surely there can be no rational reason as to why he was so ready for your escape.

“You expect me to swallow your perfect timing? That you just happened to be in the right place at the right time, ready to play the role of saviour-”

“Who said the timing was perfect? It has been anything but ideal,” Yoongi growls cutting you off. “I have been trying to get you back ever since I learned that you were taken. But we have limitations that prevented me from just storming his castle. A vampire can not enter the home of another without permission. I tried to get you, believe me I did. While you were trapped inside for five years, I was kept outside for just as long. But I have always been prepared to leave with you at a moment's notice.” 

You were ready to continue your argument again just as he was to finish, but one of his last reveals disarms you with an all too unpleasant fact. “H-how long did you just say?”

“Five years?”

“No... that’s not possible, I can’t remember more than a few months.”

“Prin- your highness.” Yoongi catches himself as you turn to panic.

“Please don’t tell me that he held me for years.” You panicked whispers become sobbing pleas, you would gladly take the lie now. The thought of more tortures of imprisonment lying just below the surface of your memory is enough to make you want to do away with your entire past. Blindly tossing it all away and building it all anew, if only it worked that way.    

“It’s been years, I’m so sorry, but you’ve been with- you’ve been missing for half a decade.” 

“Why? Why would he take that too?” You whisper stand up clutching the scar on your neck, the mark you thought to be the first was likely a only a sequel to many. How many more lie hidden in your skin, healed and masked his blood?  Feeling a pull to leave, you stumble towards the mining shaft’s entrance, unable to take another minute beside a monster who could do the same. Yoongi grabs you from behind, wrapping his hands around your waist to prevent you from progressing any further outside. You strain against him determined to go back out into the open air.  “No, let me go.”

“I can’t do that, your highness.”  

You turn into him pushing against his chest as you shout. “Let me go Yoongi.” He doesn’t stop you from shoving, or cursing him out. He just stands there holding tight as you take out your loss on him. 

“If I were to do that his hunters would find you,” Yoongi warns. “Is that what you want? Because I’m not ready to lose you to him again...” The last of his sentiment drifts off as if he’s said too much. His grip loosens to the point where you can slip away. As much as you want to turn out and run towards the sun he’s right, you can't risk losing another five years or maybe more. He nods down to the bed roll abandoned on the ground. “You should get some rest, you’ll need it for the journey tomorrow.” 

You obey, taking the bedding and lantern, wandering back farther into the cave and further away from the vampire. Slipping off your boots you find the cloth you had wedged in earlier caked with blood. You glance over to your nocturnal companion seeing if the reveal had any effect on him, but he’s already lying down, his back towards you, paying no attention. Desperate to dispose of the temptation you hold the two strips of fabric above the lantern flame. Fortunately they are dry enough to burn, leaving only ashen traces of the linen scraps. You redress your wounds with more fabric from your garment, but before curling under the blankets for the day you take one last precaution. With numerous broken branches littering the floor of the cave, you take the most jagged and sturdy, tucking in by your side. The sharp twig is not quite a stake, but a better defence than nothing at all.

...

Even after travelling all day and night with little rest it takes an age for you to fall asleep, not because of the hard ground, not due to the pain in your legs, nor the questionable motives of your new guard, but the knowledge of who you’ll see once you do. Although Taehyung’s blood has lost control of your physical movements, his hold on your mind is still tight. You know you’ll see him when you drift off, but your exhaustion is unwavering and your need of rest undeniable.  

It seems like only moments after you close your eyes that you’re reunited. He lies there beside you back in his castle, with his own eyes closed, his face content with a small smile as though he’s just fed. But on this night, something’s different. You finally feel as though you have the power to fight back against him. The stake you had stolen from his collection, and promptly lost to the forest, found again by your side. You’ve always wanted this moment, taking vengeance on the one who put you through hell. Even if it is only a dream you’ll embrace it though reality.

Mere inches away from his chest your hand is stopped by his. His eyes fly open and he tackles you back. “Killing me won’t grant you freedom, it won’t stop others from coming for you.”

“Then let them come,” you sneer back at him. “For any life without you Taehyung will be a vast improvement, no matter how short or perilous.” 

There’s a quizzical look on his face, his thumb pushing into your palm trying to get you to realise the stake, “Wake up your highness, it’s not what you think.” 

You are pulled from the dream to find yourself with your pitiful excuse for a weapon in hand. Pointing it at Yoongi’s heart as he hovers over you. You drop it quickly, and attempt to slide out from beneath him out of fear of retaliation. “I thought you were him.” 

He places a heavy hand on your shoulder preventing any further retreat on your part. “I figured that to be the case. Do you have these dreams often?” His tone is not angry, but concerned.

You relax with his understanding, “Every night, he made sure it was so.”

“I know it won’t mend the past, but I’m sorry... for what he’s done to you.”

“I’m sorry I attacked you...” 

“I can’t blame you for that,” Yoongi admits with a curling smile on his lips. “If I looked at myself and saw Taehyung I would respond in the same manner.”

You let out a small chuckle, leading to a surprised expression on Yoongi’s face. His smirk soon turns into a sad smile. “I want you to know, when you are with me, you are safe. No one will feed from you, no one will touch you, myself included.”

...

You wake to the sound of a raven in the early evening, the deep croaks of the bird carrying through the mine. Keeping your head down you glance with narrowed eyes to spy on the vampire who currently ties a small roll of parchment to the leg of the dark creature. It waits patiently on his knee until the knot is firmly in place, letting out another loud cry once Yoongi’s hand retreats. 

“I suppose you’ll be wanting more then?” Yoongi takes his index, and presses it down onto one of his sharp teeth, allowing a bead of blood to form on the tip. The raven then takes his finger into his beak and tilts his head back as it feeds on the red droplets. You start to gag at the sight, alerting Yoongi to your awakened state. The bird takes flight as your escort gets up to check on you, but as he comes closer you draw back. He pauses after his first couple steps, and asks from a distance instead. “Are you alright?”

“Why did you feed it your blood?” You heave again at the thought, but with little in your stomach there is nothing to come up.

“He’s delivering a letter for me. The blood is his reward; it keeps him healthy, but it also allows me to convey where he needs to go and who he needs to find.” 

“It’s disgusting.”

“The raven is more than happy to take it as payment for his service. But I know of what you mean, when the exchange is done improperly...” Yoongi pauses as another wave of nausea overwhelms you again, “Forgive me, I thought you were asleep, I didn’t know you would be watching.”

“What were you sending?”

“Notice to my clan. I left my surveillance post, they will wish to know why.”

“Will that be a problem?” You hadn’t considered groups other than Taehyung’s, but if you can avoid interaction with them all the better.

“No, returning you home will be a greater blow to Taehyung. He has likely built a dependence on your blood and without you he’ll be left in a far weaker state. We might finally have a chance to diminish his hold on the region.” Yoongi takes a brief glance to the entrance and starts to pack away his supplies. “You should ready yourself to leave. The sun is almost down.”

You climb out from your bed roll to find that in the night the blood had seeped through the new makeshift bandage. Yoongi clenches his teeth, and makes another offer. “Please just let me heal them, you'll only need a drop.”

“That’s one drop too much.” You move back unsure if you should be more worried about Taehyung’s men tracking you down, or the more current and looming threat of the vampire in front of you. “Is this going to be a problem for you?” “No,” he confirms, however there’s a slight hesitation in his answer. “But you should go wash up before you lose all daylight, there’s a river just down hill.” He takes a kerchief from his pocket and places it on a rock between you. “You can have this if you’d like. I don’t have any bandages to offer, other than the treatment you find so distasteful.” 

You reach out and grab it. “You won’t be getting this back.” You eye him darkly. 

“That’s fine, just go clean them off before others who may be nearby take note of your aroma.” You observe him with caution, hesitating to pass by his threatening mouth to get to that of the cave’s. “Unless you want to stay and watch me eat.” He comments as he pulls out another soft flask which he carries in his jacket. You cringe as he holds in what is likely a stolen meal.

“What?” He fires back at your critical glare. 

“Do you drain all your victims into wine skins, or just those you wish to save for later?”

“The one who gave me this was not my victim. They were willing to part with it.”

“Willing?” You scoff. “I find that hard to believe. Are you sure you did not slip them some of your own blood first?”

“No I did not, but if you have a problem with how I conduct my feedings you only have yourself to blame.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, you shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Now hurry, so we can make use of this night.”

You do just that, darting past him you leave the mine heading down to the river in the fading sunlight.

...

As you return Yoongi is already outside and packing the horse. With his back to you he pulls an apple from the saddle bag, and the horse turns his head towards the treat with it’s mouth open and reaching. He pulls it back and away from the creature, “I know, I know this should have been yours, but you’ve had enough grass and she needs food. Do you mind sharing?” You watch as he rubs his steed behind the ear and it gives up on it’s want for the fruit. “Thanks, next one is yours, I promise.”

“Am I to thank you or the horse for my meal?” You call out to the vampire.

“You may thank him if you like.” Yoongi hands off the apple to you as you approach.

You can’t help smile as you stand in front of the massive and beautiful stallion letting him smell the back of your hand before you reach you pet the star on his forehead. “What is his name?” 

“Horse...” Yoongi admits. 

“Horse? Surely you jest. Why would you not give him a proper name?”

“He went for so long without one it just stuck.” Yoongi responds as he tightens the girth of the saddle. “What would you have named him?” 

“I’m not sure, but certainly not horse. You poor beast, first he deprives you of a suitable name, then an apple.” You take a few bites but with your stomach still queasy and unable to take anymore, you give the rest to the poorly named steed. Once the bridle and tackle are secure you mount up despite the instant outcry from your legs. You find Yoongi watching you, taking notice but remaining silent. You’re grateful for his lack of discourse, not wanting to have to explain the tenderness of your ass and thighs owing to yesterday’s travel. 

Regrettably, the aches become worse, and after only a couple hours of riding you’re barely able to stay upright. If Yoongi’s arms weren’t circling around you to keep hold of the reins you would have slid to the ground long ago. It seems that he’s no longer able to disregard your comfort though.  “Are you well?”

“Relatively speaking, yes.” You whisper holding in a groan.

“Relative to what?”

“Relative to a week ago.” To your time with Taehyung. You grimace further with each mounted stride.

“I think your scale is skewed. We’ll slow for a bit. Though you might think differently, I have no desire to see you in pain.” He slows his steed to a walk and dismounts, letting you lean back as he leads the horse forward. 

“This is nothing I promise. We should keep the pace up.”

“You wish to be rid of me so soon? Even if it causes you agony?”

“Yes.” Your short reply is enough to make him pause for a second, his face splitting into an open smirk before he continues again.  

“Though I appreciate your honesty, the horse could use a break too.” Yoongi chuckles darkly. “You’ll have to learn how to hold that tongue of yours again once you return to court.”

You take in a sharp breath as a chill runs down your spine. You’ve been so focused on what you are running from you haven’t given thought as what you are running too. “Do you know much about my family, about my life back home?”

“Some.”

“You said I was the last remaining heir. There must have been a time when that wasn’t the case.”

“Your brother...” Yoongi explains, his gaze fixed on the road. “He passed away a few weeks ago. He was very ill, had been all his life.”

You take a deep breath as you register the news, but it’s hard to properly grieve when you can’t recall what you lost. “I wish I could remember-” 

Yoongi must be taking pity on you as he delves further without your prompting. “You loved him very much, but you weren’t as close as you would have liked to have been. His ailment was unknown to many and it prevented him from spending much time with you.”

“How do you know that?” 

“Because you told me.” He whispers, finally meeting your eyes again.  

“Wh-what else do you know? Will you tell me?”

Yoongi shakes his head, “Give it time and you’ll remember on your own. His hold won’t last forever.”

“I still don’t understand why you won’t say more.”

“Because I don’t want to give you a false sense of your past, only to find out later that it was different than I thought, than I hoped. Your affection for your brother was obvious, but with other focuses of your adoration I cannot be sure. So please do not ask much of me. You’ve gone through enough, I have no wish to plant false regard for things you did not actually love.” While Yoongi continues to look up to you his expression takes a sudden shift. His nose lifts into the air and takes a deep breath, before his head snaps back at the road ahead. “Humans... four of them.”

Your heart leaps at the prospect, but Yoongi cuts your anticipation short. “Don’t get too hopeful. They are currently trying to conceal themselves on the path ahead. I doubt their motives are well intended.” He reaches up to tuck a lock of hair that had fallen out from your cap. “Stay on the horse and keep quiet. I’ll deal with them.” 

“But-”

“For your own safety, please do what I ask.” 

The trees growing around the road are thick and dense, your eyes dart between the trunks in hopes to catch movement, but with the forest cloaked in darkness you have little ability to find anything. Minutes pass and just as you are about to question Yoongi, you spot a man with tattered clothes lying in the middle of the dirt road ahead. Thinking he might be a victim of the others mentioned, you make an attempt to dismount. But Yoongi holds your hand firmly on the reins, while he calls out to the casualty. “The wounded traveller? Do people still fall for that?”

There’s a moment of silence before a man emerges from the forest to the left. “You’d be surprised,” he responds, while two more appear on the right. 

The destitute wayfarer on the road gets up and dusts himself off. “It’s a shame you didn’t fall for our ploy, it’s much easier both for us and those who do, so much less blood.  You look to be worth the effort though. I’m sure we could fetch a pretty penny for a steed like that.”

The four close in ranks and advance. Yoongi stays by your side, eyeing their approach, he gives a warning. “For your sake, I hope there will be no blood involved.” 

“Is that a threat?” One of the highwaymen asks. “I should like to see how you plan on besting us without a blade. 

The man closest to you, with a dagger drawn, reaches out to grab hold of your leg. “Come down off the horse lad. There's no point in putting off the inevitable, it’s ours now.” In spite of his weapon you ready to kick the man off, but before your foot can lay into him his grip is torn away. In the blink of an eye Yoongi is on the other side of the horse forcing the assailant  to his knees with an arm behind his back. There’s a loud pop from the thief’s shoulder, resulting in a cry of pain. One of the other bandits charges to free his ally, his sword ready. Yoongi succeeds in dodging the initial thrust of the steel, and with one hand takes the saber, turning it instead on it’s owner. Your vampire escort issues another caution with the point at man’s throat. 

“If you would like your friend to keep use of his arm then I suggest you all back away.” While the disarmed thief retreats backward with his hands in the air, the rest are frozen in place refusing to move. “You think I jest?” Yoongi’s grip tightens while his captive lets out a shout. The little effort used on the vampires part to make the man submit finally prompts his fellows to take two steps back. “I swore to my companion that no one would touch them on this journey. You’ve made me break that promise, and I am not pleased.” There’s a deep growl to his voice that sends chills through even you. “I should take this limb in payment, and maybe one from each in your party too.”

“Yoongi....” You whisper in a low tone.

He turns back to you with a slight smirk. “But you are lucky, my friend prefers mercy. It’s far more than you deserve.” Yoongi lowers his head muttering into the bandits ear. “I’ll tell you what. You may keep your arm, but you and your men will abandon your camp, head south and keep walking. You will tell no one of us, and if I ever come across your path again I will not hesitate to act on my threats.”

Yoongi releases the man allowing him to scramble away as he clutches his shoulder. The other three support their injured cohort as they run off. 

Yoongi takes hold of the horse from the ground once again, leading you off the road. “Their camp it’s just this way. They might have had some supplies which will be of use to us.”

You only nod in response unsure of what to say, after what you just witnessed. The first humans you had interacted with in years, and here they intended to rob you. 

The smoke of their smouldering fire draws you in. Yoongi’s hunch was right, they had a good deal of useful items. Rations for you, along with spare changes of clothes. He fills a bag and ties it on the saddle, leaving their stolen riches along with the blade behind for someone else to find. 

He mounts up behind you again, carrying on forward for some time before speaking again. “Are you well your highness? You’ve been very quiet.”

You give him another nod, while chewing on your lip. “Why south?”

“That’s where my own clan’s territory lies. If they try to pull something like that again they’ll regret it.” He shifts in the saddle behind you, “Back there, I-I didn't scare you did I?”

You fall silent again, unable to confess he somewhat had, but also that the terror of your fellow mankind outweighed his by far. You fear the idea of having crossed them alone. They would have taken advantage of your mercy, who knows where you would be now if it weren’t for the self-proclaimed guard at your side. 

Yoongi seems to take your lack of answer as confirmation of his worry. “I needed them to see me as a vicious monster, had they not backed off I would have had to become one. I’m sorry you had to witness the threat but it was necessary. I needed to terrify them for their sake and yours. I promise didn’t intend to frighten you, only to keep you safe. ” 

...

Coming close to the break of day you find rest this time in a small abandoned house. The windows shuttered completely to prevent even the smallest stream of light from entering. Unlike the night before Yoongi doesn’t light the lantern. It’s so dark inside that he has to lead you to an empty space of floor for you to rest on. He takes a couple steps away, giving you some space before settling down himself once again between you and the door.

“I’m not going to run, you’ve made your point, or I should say the thieves did.”

“I don’t rest between you and the exit to keep you here, but to stop others from entering,” Yoongi explains. “These spots I’ve scoped out, I am not alone in using them. They are how my kind travels, some might have found different places to rest away from the sun, but I can tell that others have used this location. Don’t go examining your surroundings too closely, you might not like what you find.”

Now thankful for the darkness, you take your bed roll from Yoongi. “Rest easy,” he mutters as you climb in between in the blankets.

“Not likely,” you whisper back. “But thank you.”

Unfortunately you are correct, your sleep is once again disturbed by Taehyung. You catch a glimpse of his face before you're surrounded by him. The darkness holds you in a suffocating grip, your mouth slowly filling with blood. You struggle trying to breath reaching out to take a hold of anything that would pull you out. 

A hand grabs on to the side of your face, another on to your arm. Finding the shine of Yoongi’s eyes once you're able to open your own, you gasp out to him begging for some sort of relief. “Can’t see... can’t breath...”

He picks you up only to set you back down on the floor a second later. There's a click and the front door opens to reveal a narrow shaft of sunlight. A single beam a couple inches wide, but it’s enough to dispel the darkness inside. Your eyes start to water, blinded by the light, but it’s far too warm and comforting to deny yourself the sight.    

To your disgust there’s a lingering taste of blood in your mouth. Reminding you of the shackles that still bind you to Taehyung as it continues to overwhelm your senses. Yoongi’s voice flows from the darkness just to the side of the door, his eyes glowing like that of a predator’s. “I think you might have bitten your tongue in your sleep, your highness.” 

He’s right, you find a sore spot as you press it to the roof of your mouth. You make an attempt to focus back on the sun. You sit there in silence letting your breath and heart return to a normal rate. All while Yoongi’s eyes continue to watch you, burning in the darkness. He apologizes for his gaze, but does not withdraw his attention, “Sorry but it’s been so long since I’ve seen someone bask in the sun. I’ve forgotten what it feels like myself...”

“How long?”

“I lost count around the century mark, but it’s likely been double that.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Yes, but I understand. Immortality is a large price to pay, and every monster must have an equal weakness.”

“But I suppose, not everything it repels is a monster.”

Yoongi’s eyes narrow as if he’s hiding a small smile in the darkness. “Dare I say, that sounds almost like a compliment?”

“Merely an observation,” you whisper, but your words trigger something inside you, a pain and longing which you can’t explain. “Yoongi, what were we to one another before...” Before Taehyung interrupted your life. “Please I know you don’t wish to speak for me, but I need to know your view of what we were.”

“We were friends, just friends.” He responds but you're not convinced, just friends do not wait outside the home of their enemy for five years. Just friends don’t put their entire life on hold for another. Just friends aren’t overwhelmed with the desires that seem to be returning to you now.

You’ve seen this expression on him before, you know you have. On the edge of your memories lies a dark cavernous stone built hall, one in which only you and him resided. You find him crumbling under the weight of what he is and what he’s lost because of that. Fragments of your words and his surface in your mind.

“You are not a monster Yoongi, I do not need saving from you!”

“If not from me, then at least from my kind. I cannot give you the life nor the safety which lies here... You would be better off if you forgot me entirely.”

You remember your wish to comfort him, to embrace him and prove that he has not lost everything because of what he is. With the recollection fading, falling from your grasp, you panic out of fear of losing the brief moment of memory. Closing the door you move towards Yoongi, the only focus you have of your previous life, hoping the scene in your mind might continue.

“I don’t need saving from you,” you mutter, blinded by the rapid loss of light, reaching out in an attempt to find him again. 

He takes your hand and holds it, his cool fingers trailing soothing lines over the mark on your palm. “If not from me, then at least from my kind,” he responds, following the path of your dialogue from long before. “You remember our last meeting?” 

“Only a fraction of it. I remember wanting to...” To confess to him, to kiss him, that was your past self was leaning towards. You thought well enough of him to desire an intimacy with one who feeds on others... that can’t be right. But even now you can start to see the appeal your younger self cared for. His soft touch on your hand, his calming presence, and protection, those are not qualities of a monster. And in the memory you were worried that he would reject your affection, that he would be the one to pull away, not you. “Did you ever desire to be more than friends?”

His eyes grow wide at your question, but his stance remains the same. “You know I will not answer that.” 

“But this is regarding your feelings, not my own!”

“I will say no more of us. I’ve told you far too much already.” He leaves the topic at that, directing you to your present state instead. ”There’s a few more hours before sunset... do you think you’ll be able to sleep?”

You shake your head and move to sit with your back against the boards of the wall. Your reply is slow to come, and muddled with the first gasp of tears. “I can’t...” The prospect of closing your eyes again is too terrifying.

Yoongi comes to sit beside you, as he continues to hold your hand, his other arm wraps your shoulders as you let out the pain. A couple of hours ago you would have pushed him away out of fear, but with the spark of your past self craving his presence, who are you to deny the support it needs. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m sorry I have to keep my view from you. I don’t want to add to the damage that has been done.”

“There is not more damage that could be done. All I have to remember is a few months spent in agony and terror. How can I find comfort or rest when that is all I have? I have no knowledge of who or what made me happy, or of what dreams chased away the nightmares.”

“An adventure,” Yoongi mutters, his head bowed to the floor as he concedes with another part of your past. “You always dreamed of having an adventure.” 

You let out a broken and weeping scoff, crestfallen that your ambitions to learn more only exposed a further divide. “I find that hard to believe.” 

“Your parents were overprotective, because of your brother's condition. You were forced to keep to the castle, you just longed for something different.” His thumb rubs along the back of your hand as he holds it. 

“But I don’t feel like one to see the risk of adventures as desirable.”

“You’ve been through much since then, fear has a way of changing what we want. I will admit I wished for you to be more careful back then, but never at a cost like this.” 

“I don’t know if I will ever be that person again...” You draw your knees to your chest letting your head lull to the side and onto him. 

“That’s okay,” His arm grips you tighter, as his face lowers to the top of your head. His lips briefly brush against your hair, before his cheek comes down to rest, taking their place. “That’s why I’m taking you home.” 

...

#bts smut #yandere bts #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts reader insert #bts thriller au #bts vampire au #yandere taehyung #min yoongi #kim taehyung #min yoongi x reader #kim taehyung x reader #suga x reader #v x reader #bts blood bounty

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 10/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Сhapter 9

“Come with me, I’ll show it to you.”

Levi glared at the girl, feeling his eye twitch.

That girl, Ymir, he didn’t like her. She seemed cocky, overly confident and just, plain annoying. She also tried to shoot him and Hange. And she had interrupted their argument, which could have resulted in… some kind of consensus. Perhaps, even reconciliation. A revelation of some sorts. But now they were back to square one, and Hange returned to giving him long, mistrustful look.

And the fault, in Levi’s opinion, lied entirely on that irritating girl.

Levi didn’t like her, he didn’t trust her and he was adamantly against her becoming a part of their team.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the one calling the shots. Hange was and she was very much pro Ymir becoming a part of their team. And there was nothing he could do about it, except grit his teeth and put on the fiercest of his scowls.

“Where are you taking us?” he caught up with Ymir in a few, swift strides, reaching her and shoving the door she was going to open closed. Levi now stood right beside her, breathing down her neck. Her neck was all he could reach, because, to make matters even worse, the girl was also tall as a fucking tree.

That meant that she could easily look down on him, and that’s exactly what she did, as she stopped and turned around.

“My place,” she answered flippantly.

“Your place?” Hange blinked a couple of times, her mouth slightly open. The expression was endearing, but then again, there was little Levi didn’t find endearing about Hange. Focus, he told himself, forcing his attention back on the conversation. “So this apartment…”

“Oh hell no,” Ymir cringed. “I don’t live in this shithole. I used to live there, but now I simply give that address for the rich assholes I work for. In case some of them actually have heart and decide to pay the poor girl who lives in a basement more.”

“So you use that apartment to scam people?” he couldn’t help his accusing tone. The idea was smart, yes, and Levi was the first person to agree that rich people deserved to have their money taken away, but he was also petty and looking for a reason to dislike the girl even more.

He thought, even hoped that his biting remark would shame Ymir. But all he got in response was an elbow in his side from Hange, and a vicious, “And you’re any different?”

It wasn’t precisely shame that cursed through him after Hange’s words, but it was something similar, close to remorse.

“Who are you, by the way?” her greenish eyes bored into his, as Ymir loomed over him, hands on her hips. “I don’t remember seeing your detective’s badge.”

“Because I don’t have it,” craning his head upwards to scowl at the girl was starting to aggravate his neck muscles just a bit too much, but Levi didn’t allow this little nuisance to break his focus. “As for who I am… you can call me Levi.”

“I can call you Levi? Well, thank you for your kindness.” Ymir cackled, rather loudly. Levi winced at the volume and clenched his fists at the expression of pure mockery on her face. “But I need to know your full name.”

Levi refused to back down or reveal himself so easily. Especially, since… “You didn’t tell us your full name either.”

“Ymir is all I have,” she answered, crossing arms on her chest. In an instant, all signs of mischief were gone from her expression. Now she was staring at Levi levelly, her face guarded and strict. “Orphans don’t have the pleasure of receiving a surname.”

“Oh.”

The soft, quiet sound came from Hange. Levi didn’t need to look away from Ymir to see that Hange was looking at the girl with mix of sadness and compassion. As ready as he was to loathe the insolent brat, he was feeling something similar, a painful clench of his heart that reminded him of his biggest weakness – his unreasoned kindness and desire to help the ones who need it.

Recently, his kindness led him to a fist-fight in the bar. Levi could only guess where this fault of his would bring him this time.

“I don’t need your pity,” Ymir huffed, seeing the sudden change in Levi’s eyes. “What I need is your full name.”

God, she was so tenacious, like a piranha that had latched itself on his leg. He sighed, surrendering to his fate. It seemed like he had no other choice. So keeping his eyes firmly locked on Ymir's, he said, “I’m Levi. Levi Ackerman.”

As soon as these words had left his mouth, Levi found himself pressed against the front door with Ymir once again looming over him. With movement almost too quick for him to catch, Ymir had taken a knife out of the inside pocket of her leather jacket. Now that very same knife was held tightly in her hand, and its edge was pressed threateningly to his stomach.

Hell, how many weapons she had on her?

“Ackerman?” she hissed, her green eyes shooting fire. The knife moved an inch closer to him. “The same Ackerman that had kidnapped Historia?”

It took him a moment too long to get his wits back. He wasn’t threatened with a knife every day of his life, after all. And, by the time, his composure had returned and he was ready to retaliate, Hange decided to take matters in her hands.

Quite literally.

She took Ymir’s wrist and squeezed it tightly, eliciting a pained groan from her. The hold she had on the knife loosened, and it fell down with a resounding sound, barely missing the toe of Levi’s boot.

“We don’t do violence here,” Hange said, her voice tight. “And no, he isn’t the same Ackerman. His uncle is the one who had taken Historia.”

“So you knew about this!” yanking her wrist out of Hange’s hold and cradling it protectively to her chest, Ymir shifted her gaze, turning her anger on her.

“I did,” Hange confirmed. “But Levi knows nothing about his uncle’s crimes.”

Levi stared at Hange wide-eyed, not quite believing what was happening right in front of his eyes. Hange was defending him? She had just protected him from Ymir?

He wasn’t the only who was openly gaping at her, Ymir seemed to have troubles believing Hange was serious as well.

“So you trust him? You, a police officer, trust him?”

“Maybe, trust is not quite the right word,” Hange chuckled, her serious demeanor shifting to present a bashful grin. “But I believe him,” despite the relaxed expression, her voice was filled with conviction. She did believe him, Levi realized, Hange wasn’t simply putting on a show. The revelation caught him off guard. It also made him recall their recent argument. Perhaps, not everything was lost? “We may be chasing different goals, but I believe it will lead to the same outcome.”

“And if working with me goes against all of your morals,” Levi cut in, reverting Ymir’s attention to himself. “Then we should go our separate ways. The tensions,” he chanced a glanced at Hange, surprised to find that she was actually looking back at him. “Are already high. We don’t need any more infighting.”

Ymir considered them both for a moment, her gaze switching from Levi to Hange. Worrying her lip between her teeth, she appeared deep in thought.

“Fine,” she conceded at last. “It seems like I have no choice but to work with you.”

“Want to save Historia that much, eh?” Hange wiggled her eyebrows in an obscenely ridiculous way. Levi couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. Ymir seemed to have the same reaction to her antics.

“I owe her. She's in this mess because of me,” she explained, rather gruffly. “And,” a smirk pulled on her lips, reminding Levi that Ymir was an irritating brat who had attempted to shot him, and then had the gall to threaten him with a knife. “She is also extremely cute.”

“Ah, she’s adorable like a princess!” Hange agreed with a wide smile. Despite Ymir being nothing short of nuisance just a minute ago, Hange had now her arm wrapped around the girl’s shoulders, talking with her animatedly.

The two of them walked out of the apartment together, still whispering amongst each other. They seemed to be best friends already, which left Levi feeling oddly neglected.

Gods, just how bad did he have it for Hange?

However, he wasn’t feeling abandoned for too long. As soon as they exited the apartment complex, and Ymir started leading them to the aforementioned her place, Hange left her side and fell in step with Levi.

“Hey,” she started, keeping her eyes locked on the horizon. It showed a pretty sight of the setting sun and the warm glow it emanated, but Hange didn’t seem too interested in watching the light reflected in the windows. She simply appeared determined not to meet his eyes. “During your little clash with Ymir… she didn’t hurt you or something?”

Was it his wishful thinking, or did he actually hear hints of concern in her voice? Whatever it was, it sent an exciting pulse through his heart.

“I’m fine. You intervened just in time. By the way… thanks for that.”

Levi cringed at his own awkwardness. He usually wasn’t that clumsy, clumsiness was a big no in his line of work, but Hange excelled at bringing out that part of him. She made him feel so many contrasting emotions that it was hard to navigate through all of them. Sometimes he felt like he was lost in it, blindly stumbling through the workings of his own heart.

“Well, I couldn’t allow our only way to get to Kenny Ackerman get stabbed, could I?”

Of course, Hange was thinking about the case. That was understandable, logical, expected. And whatever concern he had caught in her voice, it was probably directly related to their case.

Their case, he had to focus on it.

You’re here for Kenny, he reminded himself for the nth time. Kenny, not Hange and the weird feeling she provoked in him.

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny, he kept repeating to himself like a mantra. But with Hange still so close to him, his focus was gradually slipping.

Thankfully, Ymir provided an excellent distraction when she stopped them in front of the shadiest bar Levi had ever laid his eyes on. And, considering the fact that he had grown up in the slams and had just returned from the city, where he himself was working in a shady bar with an awful boss, that was saying a lot.

“That’s your place?” he asked in his most unimpressed voice. “You live in a bar?”

“I work at the bar. And I live right above it. And since my shift starts in less than half an hour,” Ymir shrugged. “I decided to mix business with pleasure.”

“Works for me,” Hange hummed, pushing past Levi to get to the entrance. “What floor your apartment is?”

“Third, the first one on the left.”

“Are you even allowed to work at the bar?” Levi looked critically at Ymir. “I thought you were a teenager.”

“Are you allowed to drink?” Ymir easily parried. “I thought you were a kid.”

Brats and their loud mouths, there was nothing that irritated Levi more. Listening to Ymir’s cackling, he could only grit his teeth. His scowl darkened even more, when he saw Hange high-fiving the insolent girl.

“I’m glad you’re starting to get along,” she chuckled, patting Levi and Ymir on their shoulders. “But let’s move on, there is a girl that needs to be saved.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Ymir mumbled, leading them upstairs.

___

Ymir’s apartment turned out to be a kitchen and a single room that simultaneously served as a bedroom, a study and a living room. In the center stood an old dusty couch with clothes thrown all around it, next to it was a rickety coffee table with a laptop on it, and on the opposite wall, there was…

Wow. So Ymir was that serious about finding Historia?

The wall was covered with newspapers clippings and photos. And the center of it all was the photo of Historia, with various strings attached to it.

“So…” Hange awkwardly shuffled to take a better look at it. “Care to explain all of it?”

“Sure,” Ymir nodded. “But it might take a while. Do you want something to drink?”

“Do you have tea?” Levi asked, subconsciously knowing the answer already.

“Nope, only beer.”

“I’ll have a beer, please,” Hange smiled, and then, to Levi’s horror, she took out the fucking notebook. He was getting sick of it.

Ymir returned from the kitchen, holding three bottles of beer. She handed one to Hange, then turned to Levi, looking him up and down. Levi didn’t like where this was going.

“Do you have an ID, sir?” she asked in the most mocking, annoying voice Levi had ever heard. And he thought that Kenny was the most irritating person in this world. Ymir was proving him seriously wrong.

And Hange’s delighted laugher wasn’t making him feel any better.

“Fuck off,” he snapped, snatching the bottle from her.

“Alright, let’s start,” Ymir waited for Hange to settle on a couch. Then she opened her bottle and pointed it at the photo of Historia. “So you know that Krista Lenz isn’t her real name, yes?”

“Yep,” Hange confirmed.

“And that her father,” Ymir trailed the bottle to the side, following the string to the photo of middle-aged man. “Is Rod Reiss.”

“We… recently found about it.”

“And since an Ackerman is sitting right next to you, I’m assuming you know about Kenny Ackerman as well?”

Before nodding, Hange stole a quick glance at Levi. She turned away before Levi could decipher the meaning of it.

“And you really don’t know where he is?” Ymir directed her question at Levi. “Isn’t he your uncle or something?”

“He is my uncle.” Levi stared at the wall, fixing his eyes on the place where Kenny’s photo should have been. But, apparently, Ymir couldn’t find it, so instead there was a white square with his name written on it. Still, the fact that she managed to find that much information was already an astonishing achievement. It actually made Levi curious… “Where did you get his name?”

As far as Levi was aware, Kenny was obsessively secretive. He might appear carefree and careless, but that was just a façade. He wouldn’t survive for as long as he did if he hadn’t shrouded his identity in the thick fog of secret. The only mistake of his that Levi could remember was his fuck up with Traute, and she was probably already dealt with, in one way or another. So how did a girl find out about him?

“It wasn’t all that hard,” Ymir flippantly admitted. “I was spying on Reiss, and I once saw him talk with Ackerman. It didn’t take a genius to realize everything else. By the way,” she levelled Levi with a hard look. “Thanks for killing my boss. Because of that, I had to return to working at this shitty bar.”

Levi shrugged. He could say that technically he wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger and killed that guy. But Ymir didn’t seem too interested in technicalities.

“If you know about Kenny,” Hange began, biting at her pen. “Then do you know why he had taken Historia?”

Ymir shook her head, shuttering Levi’s hope to easily find the answer to the question ‘what the fuck was Kenny doing’. “I guess he had some fallout with Reiss and decided to use Historia as a leverae. And that brings me to my next point,” the beer bottle travelled upwards, to the photo of a young woman with long black hair. “What do you know about Frieda Reiss?”

“Not much,” Hange admitted after studying the photo for a several moments. “She is Reiss’ eldest daughter, isn’t she? And she’s an aspiring artist, if the memory serves me right.”

“Well, you already know more than I expected. Yes, Frieda is Reiss’ daughter, which makes her Historia’s half-sister.”

“And that’s important how?” Levi asked, smoothly standing up in guise of taking a closer look at Ymir’s crazy wall.

He walked up to it, squinted at the various scribblings, and then moved closer to the desk that stood by the window. He leaned against it, pretending to listen to Ymir and Hange’s conversation.

“Out of all of Reiss’ family, Frieda is the only who gives a damn about Historia. If we want to find out about Historia’s whereabouts, she’s our best bet.”

“You think she knows something?” Hange moved slightly forward, in an attempt to take a closer look at the wall and Frieda’s photo on it. “You talked with her?”

Ymir scrunched her nose, making an extremely displeased face. She took a large swing from the bottle, cringing slightly at the bitter taste. “She doesn’t want to talk with me. We had an argument of sorts.”

“An argument…” Hange frowned. “About what?”

While Ymir was busy forming an adequate explanation, Levi discreetly opened the top drawer of her desk.

Once a thief, forever a thief, that was what Hange had told him? No point in going against his own nature then, Levi thought, as he flipped through the contents of the drawer. Inside there were photos, a lot of photos. A dozen, if not even more. They varied in foreshortening, angle, color palette. And yet the subject remained the same.

It was Historia.

There was a picture of Historia from across the street, enjoying a book inside the café. And a picture of Historia, sitting on a bench in the park and eating an ice-cream. There was Historia smiling, Historia frowning, Historia laughing, Historia… oh. So Ymir got that close to the girl she was supposed to be spying on?

Hiding the picture of two girls kissing, Levi closed the drawer and returned his attention to the conversation on hand.

“I already told you Frieda cares about Historia. And when she found out that I was spying on her father, and, subsequently on Historia too, well,” Ymir ran a hand through her hair. “Let’s just say she wasn’t too happy about it.”

“But?” Hange prompted, notebook clenched tightly in her hand. “You think that Frieda knows something?”

“Reiss definitely knows something, I’m sure Ackerman has contacted him with some kind of ransom note.”

“And Reiss didn’t go to the police, because he doesn’t want the world to know about his connection to Historia.”

“Exactly,” Ymir confirmed. “And if there was actually some communication between him and Ackerman, Frieda is the only who knows about it. She’s in on everything her father is doing.”

“But she’s the daughter of an influential politician and she’s a famous artist,” Hange bit at her thumb, her frown deepening. “How the heck we can get her to talk? Especially if her father doesn’t want to involve the police.”

Ymir grinned. “I’m glad you asked.”

Oh no. Levi didn’t like that smile or that tone. An awful offer was going to be made to them. Or, even worse, that would be a demand.

With his stomach sinking, he sighed and prepared for the worst.

Ymir took a step to the side, revealing the last part of puzzle. It was a clipping from a newspaper article that talked about… Levi squinted… an upcoming gala that was going to be held at the Reiss’ mansion. Great.

“Frieda is the one who organizes the gala and she is the one who will be hosting it,” Ymir explained. “Her father won’t be here, and that will give you an opportunity to get closer to her.”

“But won’t there be a security? How can we get in?” Hange asked. “And how will we convince her to share the information with us?”

“I can obtain two tickets for you. As for convincing Frieda… I don’t think she’ll need much of it. She wants to save her sister, just say you’re from police and she’ll probably share everything she knows.”

“And what if she doesn’t want to talk to us? What if she orders the guards to throw us out? Too many unknowns for this to effectively work out. I say the plan is too risky,” Levi concluded, crossing hands on his chest.

“But we don’t really lose anything,” Hange countered. “It’s a gamble.”

“It’s a waste of time.” Levi argued.

“It won’t be a waste of time with you,” Ymir said. “If you don’t succeed with talking to Frieda, then…” she wiggled her eyebrows, looking at Levi.

Hange shot up to her feet. “Oh no. No, no, no. No! I can’t allow you to break inside and snoop around. It’s Reiss’ mansion! If we get caught, I’ll get skinned alive.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Hange,” Levi rolled his eyes. Now that Ymir mentioned the idea of snooping around, he liked the plan a lot more. “We’ve already broken into someone’s apartment, and nothing bad happened.”

“We almost got shot at,” Hange reminded him through the gritted teeth.

“Then don’t get caught,” Ymir advised. “Ackermans were never caught, right? And you have Ackerman with you. I’m sure,” there it was again, that tiny, irritating smirk. “He’ll do his best to protect you.”

“Fine,” Hange ruffled her hair, looking absolutely frantic. She lifted the bottle of beer to her lips, downing half of it in one go. “Fine, fine, we’ll do it your way. But… I don’t know what to wear to this kind of event.”

“Don’t worry,” Ymir gave her a thorough once-over, going from the head to toe and focusing on Hange’s long legs, thin waist and broad shoulders. She licked her lips. “I’ll find something for you.”

“And me?” Levi asked, glaring at the girl who was ogling Hange so shamelessly. “Do you have something for me?”

“You’re a legendary thief,” Ymir scoffed, barely sparing him a glance. “Steal a suit for yourself or something.”

Fuck, how he hated the annoying brats. There was nothing worse than them.

“If we have planned everything out,” Ymir finished her beer and threw the bottle in the trashcan that, to Levi’s disgust, was already overwhelmed with bottles and empty pizza boxes. “Then I need to go. My shift starts in just few minutes. If you need something else, you can use my laptop. There is a rough blueprint of Reiss’ mansion there.”

“How did you manage to get inside?” Hange said, already taking the laptop in her hands.

Ymir winked, the insufferable smirk returning. “Let’s just say that I’m excellent at getting inside ladies' private chambers.”

The horrible innuendo was bad enough on its own, but Hange’s loud laughter made it much, much worse. Levi could only roll his eyes and scoff, apparently, he was destined to be surrounded by annoying people with terrible jokes.

Well, at least, Hange didn’t look so tense anymore. Perhaps, Ymir’s presence was a buffer between the tensions that had been rising all day. If so, Levi was glad to have the girl around, despite tasteless innuendos and all.

“There is left over pizza in the refrigerator and there is booze under the counter if you need it.”

“And you?” Hange turned to Levi. “I can’t exactly let you go home, but…”

“He can go with me,” Ymir offered. “I’ll pour him a drink, keep an eye so he won’t sneak away.”

Spend the evening with Hange or with the brat who would probably continue to mercilessly mock him, Levi knew what option he would choose, but… he wasn’t the one calling the shots.

Hange was.

“Excellent!” she gave Ymir thumbs up and a brilliant smile. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

With that Ymir grabbed him by the elbow and started dragging him downstairs. Levi could only sigh and surrender.

___

“So,” Ymir poured a shot of whiskey and handed it to him, leaning against the counter and studying his face. The unnatural dark red lighting of the bar made her look even more imposing. The irritating smirk was already in place, playing on her thin lips. “What is happening between you and detective badass?”

Color rushed to his cheeks, and Levi thanked the lighting for hiding the unfortunate reaction.

“Nothing,” he mumbled into his drink.

“Nothing? So what about that argument I’ve overheard and the two of you rolling around on the floor of my apartment? You call that nothing?”

“Eavesdropping is bad,” Levi said, but, despite the biting tone, he lowered his head even further down. That was a topic he really didn’t want to discuss. Especially, with a girl he met just an hour ago. “And we weren’t rolling around, I saved Hange from getting shot.”

“I dig up dirty secrets for a living. Eavesdropping is my job. And you could have just shoved her aside, not jump onto her, you know?”

“Shut up,” he put the glass of whiskey up to his lips, finishing it in one large gulp. The bitter, burning liquid travelled down his throat, making him shiver. He pushed the glass back to Ymir. “Another one.”

“Ah ah,” she wiggled her finger. “I won’t let you have another drink until you tell me what the heck is going between you two.”

“Why are so interested in it?”

Ymir looked around the bar. There was just a couple of customers inside, all of them slowly nursing their drinks and seemingly uninterested in ordering something else. As her eyes shifted from one corner to another, Ymir shrugged. “It’s a slow night. And I have a feeling something juicy has transpired.”

“Alright, I’ll tell,” after all, what the heck he was losing? His dignity? He bid goodbye to it a long time ago. Besides, there was something he wanted to get out of Ymir as well. “But in exchange you’ll tell me what happened between you and Historia.”

“Nothing,” was probably what Ymir wanted to exclaim. Her widened eyes and scandalized expression were definitely screaming that. But Levi raised a hand before she could even start denying his claim.

“I found the pictures inside your desk.”

If he thought that Ymir’s face showed disbelief and anger before, now there was pure rage. “Going through other people’s stuff is bad,” she hissed, her eyes narrowed into slits.

“I’m a thief,” Levi graciously accepted the drink she prepared to him. “Going through other people’s stuff is my job.”

“Has anyone told you how irritating you are?”

“Has anyone told you?”

Looming over him with hands on her hips, Ymir stared down at him. Levi stared back, putting the darkest of his glares.

Ymir was the first one to surrender, breaking the eye contact with a low chuckle. “Alright, alright, we’re both assholes.”

“That we are,” he agreed, taking another sip from his glass. He put it back down softly, the ice cubes clinking together. “So what’s the deal between you and Historia?”

Ymir took a deep sigh and grabbed the closest glass to her, starting to mindlessly clean it with a rag. The silence stretched, the sounds of tense rubbing of the glass taking over. Levi wanted to repeat his question, but then— Ymir finally gathered enough courage to start talking.

“So you already know that I was supposed to spy on Historia. Reiss had an enemy in the parliament that wanted to expose his secret daughter, and, well,�� she shook her head and laughed, the sound devoid of mirth but filled with bitterness. “Whatever pays the bills, right? So I found that girl, took a few photos and then I was asked to bring a DNA sample, to make sure that she really is Reiss’ daughter and it isn’t just a rumor, created by his former maid. I broke inside her room at campus, took a hair out of the hairbrush, and I was already leaving when some clumsy idiot bumped into me and I fell down the stairs. And that how I actually met Historia. Unaware that moments ago I was looking through her things, she brought me to her room and forcefully bandaged my sprained ankle.”

“And that’s it? You literally fell for her?” the story made him chuckle. It also made him remember a similar story – a story about bumping into someone on the street, about falling in more ways than just one.

“Well, Historia made sure to call and text me every day for the entirety of three weeks, because she read somewhere that it takes three weeks for the ankle sprain to heal completely. She also personally checked up on me a couple of times, although I’m not even sure if my ankle was actually sprained. But,” Ymir rubbed the back of her neck, and, perhaps, it was the treacherous lightning, but it looked like she was blushing. “I couldn’t exactly say no to a cute girl like this, you know?”

“And? Did she find out who you actually are?”

“No. But her sister did. I don’t know if Historia knows who Frieda truly is, and I don’t know why Frieda is so obsessed with her, but she found me and threatened to use her father’s connections to throw me in jail. I grew up on a street, so there was a lot of illegal stuff I did, and… I couldn’t exactly risk it. I wanted to sneak into Historia’s dorm, you know, have, at least some kind of a goodbye… but when I got inside, she wasn’t there. The next day I found that she was kidnapped.”

Silence fell over them. What was there to say? Tell that he felt sorry for her? That he knew just how shitty she was feeling right now?

Nothing he could say would make Ymir feel better.

“What about you then? What did you do to make our fierce detective glare at you so much?”

“She was the lead detective investigating out heists. And…”

“Ohh,” Ymir sounded intrigued. “So you seduced her? To get the information out of her? But then fell for her along the way?”

“No. I just fell. Bumped into four-eyes on the street and dropped all of my groceries, so she decided to make it up for me. It kinda went up from there.”

“Oh,” the interest disappeared from her voice completely. “And what happened next?”

“And then she got really close to catching us, and I decided to run away, and then my uncle shot her, and then,” Levi spat bitterly, drowning his misery with another mouthful of whiskey. “And then her boss found out who I really am and I left before I could bid her an actual goodbye. I moved to another part of the world, found myself a job, in a bar, if you would believe me, and then Hange found me and demanded I come back to help her catch my uncle.”

“Ow, that’s rough, dude.” Ymir refilled his glass. “Did you the two of you at least bang?”

“What!” Levi was sure his face was as a tomato. He glared fiercely at the girl, desperately trying to mask his embarrassment and save at least some remnants of his dignity.

“Don’t deny that you haven’t thought about it,” she taunted, grinning wildly, victoriously, like a predator who had just stumbled upon an easy prey. Fucking piranha. “Those long legs and wide shoulders, I bet she has abs too, and have you seen that ass, I’d—”

“Shut up,” Levi growled, closing his eyes to get that image of Hange out of his head. Hange did have a very nice body, he’d have to be blind not to see that, but that’s— that wasn’t the reason why he liked her, and even if he did think about her in that way – which, of course, he absolutely didn’t – Ymir was still the last person on Earth he’d like to discuss that with. Well, maybe, Kenny was the last person he’d discuss that with, but Ymir was definitely near the bottom of that list as well. “I’ve never, ever, thought about me and Hange in that way.”

“Well, well, someone is repressed,” Ymir didn’t take mercy on him, her voice becoming even more aggravating. “It’s not heathy for a man your age, you know? You need to learn how to relax, for example, you can sit in the dark room, think long and hard about hot detectives, imagine Hange arresting you, handcuffing you and then—”

Jesus Christ. Levi didn’t think it was possible for his cheeks to feel that hot. They were just as hot as—

Fuck, even his subconscious was working against him.

Ymir was laughing openly now, doubled over the counter and heaving breathlessly. “Man, you should have seen your face, it’s so easy to mess with you.”

“You’re a nuisance, I can’t even begin to understand how your Historia could have fallen for you.”

“The same applies to you, midget. How could someone as hot as detective Hange end up with a crush on you of all people?”

“Hange is too trustworthy and open,” Levi shrugged.

“And Historia is too kind and naïve.” Ymir agreed with a smile that looked too soft on the face of the girl who just minutes ago was mocking him mercilessly. “So what, it was their shortcomings that let us meet them?”

“Or it was fate. Or just dumb luck.”

Ymir grabbed a glass from the behind her, poured whiskey in it and raised it up. “To their shortcomings then. Or fate and dumb luck.”

Levi chuckled, as he brought his glass to hers. Yeah, he could drink for that.

Their glasses clinked, and Ymir’s expression changed, ever so slightly. The grin was still there, but it wasn’t as annoying as it was before. Now, it almost looked friendly. Levi felt his own lips curl up in a smile. Brats, perhaps, they weren’t that terrible after all.

“I’ll go out for a smoke,” he told Ymir, patting his jacket for a cigarette pack. “If four-eyes shows up…”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll tell her that you just went out, don’t worry. I’m not that much of a nuisance,” she winked at him, following this gesture with another fit of boisterous laughter.

Levi rolled his eyes at the display and hurried to the exit.

He breathed a deep sigh of relief when the chill, night air greeted him. The bars usually didn’t smell all that great, and this one wasn’t an exception. The stench of brewery and the general stuffiness of these places were the main reason why Levi preferred to drink at home. He was never one for the company anyway, and his general disgust of bars only added to his alienation.

Besides, he had a long, long day after a long and tiring flight. It was the first time he was left alone ever since he had walked off the plane, and Levi decided to relish that moment, however short it may be.

He lighted up the cigarette and put it to his lips, deeply inhaling the fresh minty smoke.

Fuck… what a day. And it wasn’t even finished yet.

Levi wondered what was going to happen next, was Hange serious about keeping watch on him? If so, how was she planning to go about it? Make him stay at her apartment? The idea wasn’t exactly opposing to him, especially after seeing the mess that Kenny made of their place.

And, Kenny, what a bastard. Couldn’t he at least try to make looking for him easier? It was just one day, and Levi was positively spent. He felt like he could sleep for millennia.

And tomorrow was not going to be any better, with this whole gala shit. He’d be lucky if next evening wouldn’t end up with him sent in prison by Reiss.

However, he wasn’t going to be the only one taking that risk. Hange was going with him, and if she was caught, she could very well lose her job. If that possibility didn’t scare Hange, he wouldn’t let it scare him as well.

Still… a lot of things could go wrong tomorrow. He had to be ready to tackle at least some of them.

With another weary sigh, Levi took another drag of the cigarette, hoping the tobacco would provide a small amount of comfort. Coupled with all the whiskey he had drunk, the cigarette was doing its job fairly well until—

Until the front door of the bar had opened and Hange had walked out, her eyes immediately zooning in on him.

“Levi!”

She called him Levi, not Ackerman, and she did so with a wide, genuinely happy smile instead of an angry glare. She leaned against the wall next to him, bumping their shoulders merrily, and Levi was ready to triumph but then he caught the stench coming from Hange and saw her flushed cheeks and dilated pupils.

So she was drunk. Excellent, just what he needed to end that already horrible day.

“Hange,” he pinched the bridge of his, setting the cigarette aside. Perhaps, he just imagined it. Perhaps, Hange wasn’t actually drunk and her behavior had a completely logical explanation. “Hange, are you alright?”

“Um, sure,” she blinked sleepily, pressing closer to him. She was just a breath away of leaning fully against him. Feeling his heart pound in his chest, Levi tried to stay as still as possible, keeping the contact between them as minimal as he could. His mind decided to suddenly remind him of every stupid thing Ymir had told to him today. Levi never felt so betrayed by his own subconscious. “I’m just tired and a little hungry, and I think I had too much of the rum I found under the counter in Ymir’s apartment.”

And before Levi could react, before he could, maybe, scold Hange for this act of recklessness, she kicked the ground underneath him once again.

“Hey, can I have it?” she pointed to his cigarette, already reaching to it.

Moving the hand with cigarette away from Hange, Levi hesitated. On one hand, smoking could make her feel that much worse, on the other, she could just as well start arguing with him, and that was the last thing he needed today. So he settled on a middle ground.

“You can have one drag,” he allowed, handing her a cigarette.

But Hange didn’t take the cigarette from his hand. Instead, she slightly opened her mouth, as though in invitation.

Fucking hell. Was drunk Hange always like this?

Slowly, doing his best to ignore the trembling in his hands, he lifted the cigarette to her lips. Hange closed her mouth around it, her eyes fluttered shut as she started to inhale the smoke.

Levi watched her, completely transfixed, he never thought that someone could be that attractive while smoking, but here he was…

He was standing close to Hange, so close that he could see every individual eyelash, a small mole at the side of her cheek, the barely visible freckles on her nose, the little scar on her forehead. Her face was illuminated by the blue flickering sign with the name of the bar. The unnatural lighting made her seem even more surreal.

“Fuck!”

The illusion was broken abruptly, when Hange pushed him away and doubled down, coughing fit wracking through her body.

“Shit!” she croaked, in between the coughs. “I didn’t know that thing would be so strong, it’s so—”

“Wait.” Levi was so confused. “You’ve never smoked before?”

“No.”

God, what an insufferable person.

“Then why the hell you’ve asked for my cigarette?”

“Don’t know!” Hange straightened up, spreading her hands. The frantic motion made her stagger. Levi caught her by the elbow before she fell. “I just thought it would feel good. But it didn’t!”

“Idiot.” Levi scoffed. He winced when he realized that there was too much fondness in his tone.

“I’m just tired,” Hange sighed, dropping her shoulders and bending her knees to slide lower off the wall. “I deserve a break, don’t I? I didn’t have one in so long…”

Levi felt like he knew the answer to his question already. Yet, he still asked. “When was the last time you took a break?”

“When you left. As soon as I was discharged from the hospital, I threw myself into my work.”

Ouch. That was probably his fault.

He was contemplating what answer wouldn’t make him sound like an asshole while simultaneously keeping in secret just how much he had missed her during all the months he was gone, when he felt something warm touch his cheek.

He lifted his eyes from the grey, cracked asphalt and—

Cigarette fell from between his fingers.

Hange was closer than she was before, and her palm was resting on his cheek, absentmindedly caressing his skin.

“That thing…” with a feather light touch of her thumb, she traced the already healing cut on his cheek. “Where did you get this?”

“This…” fuck, why Hange’s proximity made it so hard for him to think? His thoughts were sluggish as ever, the neurons reacting with the pace as slow as it was humanly possible. With more effort than he was willing to admit, Levi forced himself to focus. “Would you believe it if I say that I received this thing while defending three teenagers from the local gangsters?”

Hange chuckled, the sound seemed warm enough to shield Levi even from the harshest winds of winter. “That depends… would you believe that, despite everything, a part of me is actually glad that you came back?”

Oh. Levi drew a sharp breath. Whatever he had expected Hange to say, this wasn’t it.

But Hange was drunk, he reminded himself. Hange was drunk and chances were she probably wouldn’t remember this conversation at all. He could take some of the weight off his chest and, perhaps, Hange would be none the wiser.

So he laid his hand on top of Hange’s, and said, “Only if you would believe that I wish I didn’t hurt you. That was never my intention. And I also wish we could have gone on that skating rink date you’ve promised me.”

He expected Hange to lash out. He expected her to push him away and start calling him names. He expected literally anything else but not for Hange starting to recite Shakespeare.

“Oh Romeo, Romeo!” with all the dramatics of the drunken person, she fell against him, a hand flying to her forehead. “Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name!”

“Four-eyes?”

“Sorry,” she laughed, covering her mouth with a hand. Her head laying on his shoulder, she looked up, her eyes sparkling. “It just… It kinda fits, don’t you think? You know if you weren’t Montecchi and I wasn’t Capuletti, perhaps then…”

Perhaps. And, oh, how Levi wished that ‘perhaps’ turned into ‘possibly’ and into actual truth. But— they were who they were, for the better or worse.

And entertaining what ifs would only make both of them more miserable. So before he did something stupid, like press his lips to Hange and taste that horrible rum she was drinking, Levi decided to change the course and the mood of their conversation. He playfully flicked her forehead and pushed her away from him. “I didn’t know that police officers could recite Shakespeare from the top of their head.”

“No one believes me,” Hange whispered with a naughty smile. “But I was a member of the drama club in high school.”

“Did you play Juliette?”

“No, I was Romeo, but,” she winked. “I had a very pretty Juliette.”

“Of course, you had,” Levi had no doubts about it. He did, however, have a regret that he wasn’t there to witness it. Watch lanky teenage Hange jump around the stage, shouting about her love to Juliet and hatred of Capuletti in the most melodramatic fashion possible? What was better than it? “Now, c’mon,” he gently pushed her forward, making sure she didn’t stumble and fall. “Let’s go inside, it’s getting cold.”

“Yeah, let’s—”

Levi’s hand was hovering above her shoulder, but when Hange touched the side of her face and started to slowly crane towards the ground, he had to wrap his fingers firmly around her elbow. With eyes widening in fear, he watched how Hange’s eyes rolled back into her head and she fell limply against his side.

“Hange!” he shook her, but received no answer. His blood started to rapidly turn into ice. “Hange,” he called again, more softly. She didn’t even stir.

Fuck, was she drunk enough to black out? Or did she faint because of the fatigue? Or was it the combination of the two?

Whatever was the case, but he had to, at least, bring Hange back inside the bar. Keeping his hand on her waist, Levi carefully opened the front door and stumbled inside.

All eyes were on him as soon as he walked in. And no one’s stare was as surprised as Ymir’s.

“What the fuck did you do to her?”

“Your fucking fault,” he gritted through his teeth, as he approached the bar counter and pushed Hange on one of the chairs. “She drank too much while she was working.”

“Shit. And what are you going to do now?”

He didn’t have a lot of options. He could let Hange stay with Ymir, he could let Hange crush at his place, or… he could bring her to her own apartment.

The third option was probably the one Hange would be most comfortable with, but there was a tiny problem with it – he didn’t know where she lived.

“She left her bag here while she went outside to find you,” Ymir said, producing the said bag from behind the counter. “Her phone was blowing out all this time, maybe, you should call back? Perhaps, a friend will come to pick her up?”

Levi swallowed. He had a feeling that he knew what friend was calling Hange so insistently. With dread settling in, he took the bag from Ymir’s hands and fished out the phone.

The screen lighted up, showing five missed calls from – surprise, surprise - Erwin.

Fuck, just as he had expected. Just what he was fearful of.

With his insides twisting in a knot, Levi stared at Erwin’s photo, at his relaxed and smiling face. Levi remembered him a little differently. He remembered him as cunning, ruthless and calculating. Their encounter at the precinct was still fresh in Levi’s mind. His words, spoken quietly but with so much authority, were still ringing in his ears.

Leave this city, Levi Ackerman, and don't come back. Stop toying with Hange's feelings and don’t you dare contact her ever again.

As it was evident from the photo Hange chose for him, she saw a very different version of Erwin Smith. She saw him as her caring and kind boss. Levi doubted that Erwin would show the same side of himself to him.

“Would you like to make that call?” he handed the phone to Ymir.

She pushed it back with a short laugh. “I have a feeling that her friend is cop, so, no, I’m not very eager to become his acquaintance.”

Shit. So he had to do it. Fuck, Levi didn’t want to. He really, really didn’t want to.

But he had to do it, for Hange.

That last thought gave him enough courage to unlock the phone and dial the number. He closed his eyes tightly as soon as he did, his stomach was falling lower and lower with each passing beep.

On the third one, his call was answered.

“Hange?” well, now his voice definitely didn’t sound as cold and strict as it did during their last conversation. Right now, Captain Erwin Smith sounded almost frantic. “Hange, where are you? Why didn’t you pick up? I’ve been calling you—”

“Erm,” Levi cleared his throat, shifting his weight from one foot to another. Honestly, he’d rather take on ten more gangsters from Signapore, or have his leg ripped out than continue this conversation. “It’s not Hange.”

“Ackerman.” And there it was, that cold, emotionless tone. Awesome. But now… there was more urgency to it. And much more anger. “Where is Hange? What did you do to her? If you laid even a finger—”

“Jesus, calm the fuck down. Hange is fine.” Except that she wasn’t. Her eyes were still closed as she sat slumped in a chair. “She just… tired herself out. I need you to come and take her home.”

There was a pause, a silence that lasted for a long, long moment. Erwin was probably contemplating if he should trust him or not. At last, he said, “Send me your location.”

He ended the call immediately.

A little shaken after the encounter, Levi thought about his next move, should he wait for Erwin or—

“I would advise against it,” Ymir said, unusually serious. “From what I’ve heard just now, the guy hates your guts. Don’t aggravate the situation any further and don’t make him look for you around the city. He won’t be happy when he finds you.”

Yeah, Levi thought so too.

“Pour me another glass,” he asked, his tone almost pleading. And here he was worrying about tomorrow… and now he could very well find himself sitting behind bars in the next hour.

___

Erwin arrived not even ten minutes later, walking into the bar like he owned the damn place. Last time Levi saw him, he was wearing police uniform, complete with white shirt and dark jacket. Now he was dressed in an unbuttoned coat and grey sweatpants, a combination, which would have looked ridiculous on anyone else. Somehow, Erwin still managed to look formidable.

His eyes were the same icy cold color as Levi had remembered, but, because he was watching him so closely, he could notice the hint of concern that appeared, when Erwin’s gaze landed on Hange.

He crossed the bar in a few short strides, standing protectively over her. He shook her shoulder, then, with more trepidation than Levi would have expected from him, he checked her pulse. The sigh that escaped him was filled with relief, but when Erwin turned to face Levi, none of it was reflected on his face.

“What had happened?”

His voice was quiet, controlled. Even so, the anger was slipping through. Levi suppressed a shiver. He would not let this man intimidate him.

“She exhausted herself to the point of collapsing. Someone must have pushed too much work on her.”

Perhaps, his words were unjust, after all, Levi knew how much Erwin cared about Hange. And he knew that the man did his best to protect her from the burdens of their work. But Erwin didn’t like Levi, and while it was more than understandable, the feeling was also more than mutual.

However, Erwin didn’t seem offended or outraged. He seemed to disregard Levi’s presence completely.

“How much do I have to pay?” he asked Ymir, keeping his hand on Hange’s shoulder.

“It’s on the house,” Ymir replied, almost frantically. If Levi hadn’t been mocked by this girl for the entirety of the evening, he’d say that she looked scared. Even so, it was hard to deny that she certainly was cautious.

“Thank you,” Erwin nodded, “And sorry for the troubles. I’ll take her home now. And you,” he pointed with his chin at Levi. “You’re going with me.”

Levi gulped, but didn’t try to argue. Firstly, he didn’t want to start a scene. And secondly, he wasn’t sure that whatever scene he’d cause, he’d come out of it as a winner.

“Good luck, dude,” Ymir whispered to him. She almost sounded sincere. Did it mean he looked that pathetic?

He reached out to Hange, but one freezing look from Erwin, and Levi pulled his hand back, curling it into a fist.

Fuck, he hoped Hange lived somewhere nearby. Otherwise, one hell of a drive was waiting for him.

Erwin scooped Hange into his arms, effortlessly lifting her up. Her head rolled to his shoulder, nose fitting into the crook of his neck.

In his giant arms, Hange seemed so small, almost vulnerable. As he watched Erwin carry her outside, Levi felt sudden, completely illogical pang of jealousy.

Fuck, now he was just going crazy.

Erwin led him out to the parking lot, where a black sedan was parked.

Levi wanted to help him open the door, but apparently Erwin needed only one hand to hold Hange. As the door to the back seat was opened, he placed her inside, careful not to bump her into anything.

Just before Levi could slide into the backseat beside Hange, pull her head onto his lap, maybe stroke her hair… Erwin faced him once again, his strong jaw clenched and his mouth set in a firm line. “Take the passenger seat.”

Again, Levi complied without another a single complain. The situation was already tense, after all.

As he lowered himself into a passenger seat, Levi felt like his stomach was filled with heavy rocks. As he pulled the seatbelt over his chest, he felt like it was growing tighter with every breath he took.

A moment later, Erwin sat down too, sliding into the driver’s seat and igniting the car. He rode out of the parking lot wordlessly. He continued to drive in the utter silence.

In his life, Levi had enough moments that made his throat seize with worry. He was a criminal, a thief, and their heists didn’t always go according to the plan. But never before he had felt so… on edge. He felt like was standing on the top of the skyscraper, his feet dangerously close to verge of it. A sudden gush of wind, a single uneven breath could send him flying down.

So Levi sat tight, his hands curled into fists at his lap. He stared right ahead, afraid to suddenly meet Erwin’s gaze. He was breathing as quietly as possible, not wanting to upset the fragile balance.

But the balance was ruined, destroyed completely, without a hope of salvation, when they heard a sharp gasp coming from the backseat.

Hange’s head appeared in the space between two front seats a second later. Her eyes were shifting from Levi to Erwin, the gears in her head turning so quickly, Levi could almost hear their movements.

The realization came to her way too swiftly, cruel in its suddenness.

“Fuck,” she took off her glasses, rubbing her eyes with a pained expression. “Erwin, listen, I can explain—”

“You will,” he said, meeting her eyes in the rear view mirror. “After I get you home.”

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, and if Levi thought that the silence was tense and pressing before, this one opened a whole new level. At least, now it wasn’t as quiet as before, because Hange kept shifting in her seat. Levi could practically feel her eyes bore into the back of his head. He would have snapped, would have told her to quit staring like a weirdo, if her unnaturally calm boss wasn’t sitting right next to him.

When Erwin parked the car next to the apartment complex where Hange was evidently living, Levi breathed out a loud sigh of relief. Fuck, it felt like he was holding in a dump for the entirety of the fifteen-minute trip.

Growing up without mother, having only Kenny as a guardian, Levi’s childhood was very different from the other kids. He never shared his classmates’ interests, never went to parties and football matches, preferring to stay at home and help his uncle get ready for his next heist. He never actually had the pleasure to experience the scenario of asking someone on a date. He also never knew the humiliation and shame one would feel if their date was interrupted by his crush’s father. Of course, he and Hange weren’t on a date, and Erwin wasn’t her father, but as the three of them were standing in the elevator, waiting for it to stop at the fourteenth floor, Levi was as worried and mortified as a teenager who got their date ruined.

When they exited the elevator, Hange took the lead, walking towards her apartment with her head lowered and shoulders slumped.

She reached the door and unlocked it, letting them enter first.

“I didn’t expect guests,” chuckling so awkwardly that Levi cringed, she turned the light on, basking her apartment in a faint orange light. “So sorry for the mess.”

Levi would have snort and say that he wasn’t expecting anything else, or he would have scrunch his nose at the amount of clatter that he saw on the coffee table in the living room. However, the presence of Erwin wasn’t exactly making him feel playful.

Hange was either still drunk or the exhaustion was still having its effect on her, but as she walked further into the apartment, she was slightly staggering.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Erwin said, his voice gentler than Levi had ever heard it. With a hand on the small of her back, he guided Hange towards the closed door, where, as Levi guessed, her bedroom was. “You stay here,” he told Levi.

Levi barely resisted the urge to scoff. What, Erwin thought that he was stupid or daring enough to follow? He was certainly not.

After the door after Hange and Erwin closed, Levi continued standing awkwardly in the hallway for another moment. He could faintly hear their voices coming from another room, but they were too quiet for him to understand what the conversation was about.

Ignoring the urge to come closer and eavesdrop, Levi decided to take a look around the apartment.

It was messy – just as Hange had said. Books and papers were scattered around, the coffee table had a a large stain on it, and the couch was peppered with crumbs. But that wasn’t what interested Levi. He was much more interested in learning what her apartment was hiding beyond filth and trash.

Firstly, he headed to the large bookshelf in the living room. As he had expected, there were lots of textbooks there – books on criminology, forensic science, crime prevention and even sociology. The presence of fiction books wasn’t surprising, but the amount of them certainly was. Apparently, the workaholic detective Hange Zoe was also an avid book worm. His lips curling up, he stored that small piece of trivia to the part of his mind that was dedicated to everything he found endearing about Hange.

Next to the books stood a couple of picture frames. One of them showed Hange, squished between two men – Erwin and her other blonde friend, Mike. All three of them were smiling, happy and younger than they were now.

The second photo was of Hange and two adults – her parents, Levi presumed. If the previous photo pictured Hange who was only a couple of years younger, this one showed a much, much younger version. She was barely a teenager there – clad in overalls, with skinned knee, duct-taped glasses and wearing a bright, joyful smile.

Looking at that smile, Levi couldn’t help but smile back.

His mind exhausted and overwhelmed with the events of this day, it started to wander. Levi tried to imagine what would have happened, how different his life could be if Hange had befriended him when they were kids. Would his life be different, though? Or would his upbringing and unfortunate circumstances still bring him where he was now?

There was no way to find out, and that’s why there was no reason to ponder on it.

His curiosity drove him to his next stop, kitchen. He was just about to find out what the great detective Zoe preferred to stash in her refrigerator, when the door of the bedroom opened and closed. Levi heard the sound of heavy footsteps that got closer and closer.

And just like that, his good mood was gone. Just like that, he was on the edge of the skyscraper once again.

When Levi mastered the courage to turn around, Erwin stood at the other side of the small kitchen, hands crossed on his chest. Even in sweatpants and worn-out t-shirt, he still looked as commanding as ever.

“I told you to leave, and never come back. I gave you a chance to escape. Why didn’t you take it?”

Why didn’t he take it? Didn’t Erwin already know his reason?

“I’m sure Hange has explained everything to you.”

“She has.”

And what, Erwin didn’t find her reasoning sufficient enough? Fuck, the blonde bastard pissed him off so much.

“I came because I need to find my uncle and learn what the fuck has happened while I was gone.” Levi said, his anger barely constrained. “My return to the city has nothing to do with Hange or with you.”

Technically, it wasn’t a lie, he did come to look for Kenny. The fact that his and Hange’s goals aligned was a mere coincidence.

“If you have problem with us working together, then go and talk it out with Hange, explain why exactly you don’t trust her judgement. Just don’t pour all of your bullshit on me.”

“I trust her judgement,” in the semi-darkness of the kitchen, Erwin’s eyes flashed brightly, like a lightening during a storm. “I just don’t trust you.”

His anger growing, Levi already had a vicious enough retort, ready to spill out of his mouth. But just before he started talking, Erwin continued, interrupting his tirade. “Hange told me you had helped a lot today,” he tilted his head slightly to the side, considering Levi. “She said that this case can’t be solved without you. And while, I have my doubts about it, it seems that Hange has none. I don’t know what the hell she sees in you, but she trusts you and believes in you. And as I’ve said, I trust her.”

Hange… trusted him? Trusted him enough to tell her boss about it? Did she tell him about it? Or was it Erwin’s own assumption? If so, then, surely, Erwin was mistaken, surely, he got the wrong impression. Could he, though? Could a man as cunning and smart as him misjudge his own friend?

Levi forced these thoughts away, they were pointless and confusing. Right now, he had a more pressing question.

“So now what? You’ll let the two of us continue investigation?”

“I will,” Erwin nodded. “But if you hurt Hange in any way…”

Scoffing, Levi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I got it, you’ll hurt me.”

Erwin’s lips curled up in a smile that was devilish enough to send shivers down Levi’s spine. “In more ways than just one, Ackerman.”

But the moment passed, and the chilly expression was gone. “Hange is asleep,” Erwin said, pushing the hair back from his face. Up until this moment, Levi failed to take notice just how disheveled the other man looked. Was he that worried about Hange that he forgot to fix his less than immaculate appearance? “She told me that you can spend the night here.”

“Will you be watching over me all night then?” Levi asked, his voice still gruff, but not as biting as it was before.

“No,” shockingly, but Erwin sounded more at ease as well. “I entrust this investigation solely in Hange’s hands. She’ll be responsible for the end result and she’s responsible for you. Meanwhile, I need to catch some sleep as well.”

With that, Erwin turned around, walking out of the kitchen and heading in the direction of the front door. Reluctantly, Levi followed after him, cautiously watching him put on his boots and coat. Erwin’s hand was on the doorknob, when he twisted his face to the side, meeting Levi’s eyes.

“I’m giving you a second chance, Ackerman. Fuck this up and I’ll come for you.”

Levi nodded, expecting nothing less. From now on, he had to be more careful, he was sure that Erwin’s watchful eye would be following him everywhere. Just another complication to the already complicated case.

As soon as Erwin left, Levi walked into the living room, falling down on a couch. The couch was dusty, his clothes were filthy from rolling around on the floor in Ymir’s apartment, but he was too exhausted to go to shower, and he had no clothes he could change in, anyway.

Sleep was calling to him, more insistently with each passing moment. But before he closed his eyes and let himself succumb to the darkness completely, Levi pulled a phone out of his pocket. He came here to find Kenny, he hoped he would receive a clue about his whereabouts while searching their apartment. He found nothing there, but perhaps…

He dialed Kenny’s number.

One beep, two beeps, three, four…

Levi kept listening to the mechanic, measured sound until the call was disconnected. So, Kenny wasn’t picking up. Levi was disappointed, but not surprised.

He saw no reason in trying to call him once again and put his phone on a coffee table next to the couch. His eyes were already fluttering shut, when a loud vibration jolted him out of his semi-sleepy state.

Levi jumped a little, reaching out to his phone. He unlocked it, staring at the notifications with wide eyes.

He received three messages. From unknown number.

He hurried to open them.

Don’t go poking your nose into this wasp nest, Levi

And tell that detective of yours to quit either

Stop chasing after me. Leave before it’s not too late

With his fingers trembling so much his phone almost fell down, Levi dialed that number. The call went straight into voicemail.

“Fuck!” he threw the phone back onto the table, with more force than was necessary. Fucking Kenny and the games he was playing. Hadn’t he said that he trusted him? Evidently, he didn’t trust Levi enough to let him help with whatever shit he had involved himself.

Well, whether he wanted Levi to help him or not, it didn’t matter. Levi was coming after him. And he wouldn’t let Kenny’s lame threats stop him. Nothing would stop him, not until Levi found out what the fuck happened to his uncle.

Hold on for me, Kenny, he thought, on the verge of sleep, I’m coming for you.

#i know i've said it's 10k words monster but now the wordcount is actually 11k #enjoy hehe #levihan

[sidespromptblog]

A Close Friend: (2/2)

One

Warnings: Crying (Roman), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Talk of suicidal thoughts (Past Logan), and Roman calling Janus ‘Deciet’ instead of his actual name multiple times. 

Summary: Roman goes to Logan in order to vent and ramble about everything that had happened about Thomas, Patton, and Janus. But in the process finds Logan dealing with his own bottled emotions, as well as an uncomfortable thought that Logan has been dealing with as of late that leaves Roman scared for Logan’s own safety. So he decided to help, in whatever way that he can.

AO3 LINK

Word Count: 3876

Logan woke groggily, with a feeling of warmth surrounding him as his head remained buried under a mound of blankets and his body surrounded by a wall of pillows blocking out the outside world from his cocoon of sleep. For a solid few minutes, he wanted to stay like that, tucked away so that he would never have to bother with anything outside of his little nest ever again. Although logically he knew that eventually, he’d have to. He had duties, and more than that… he had to face just what he had confessed to Roman the previous night. 

Just the thought of it made his stomach squirm, as feelings of shame, embarrassment, and guilt writhed around inside of him. 

Why had he said that? What on earth had possessed him to drop all of that on Roman right then and there. He was usually so reserved around the other side, and seeing him when the creative side had witnessed him so openly weeping…

It had made everything just spill out of him like a faucet that couldn’t be turned off. But then again…

The memory of being cradled so gently in the other side’s arms made a warmth erupt in his heart and face, the feeling of Roman’s hands gingerly carding through his hair in an effort to soothe his endless sobs made him feel safe.

Opening his eyes was a trial in itself, as they felt so crusty and dry from the endless crying he had done the previous night.

A pang of something slammed into his heart.

That’s right… Roman had caught him crying, Roman had heard him say what he’d said, and Roman had... 

Cracking open his eyes Logan found himself staring point-blank at Roman’s chest. Somehow in the middle of the night, they had both wound up curling into each other. Roman’s arms securely wrapped around Logan, keeping him fixed to his chest where Logan’s cheek had remained smushed against him for the entire night. Roman’s expression was peaceful, letting Logan know that he hadn’t yet woken up despite the mid-afternoon light that was pouring through the windows, only halted by the curtains surrounding the bed. The soft little snores that left the creative side sounded like that of a little bear, tucked away from the winter and in the warmth of his own little cave. 

All in all, it was… nice. 

It was nice to be held like this, and to know that Roman clearly didn’t mind having him so close. 

For a moment he fancied the idea of letting his eyes close again, of just sinking back into a lovely slumber that would undoubtedly bring him back to the peaceful dream that he had been having before he had woken up. It would be easy, just one movement, for his eyes to slide shut and not open until Roman chose to wake him up again. His fingers clenched into the fabric of Roman’s shirt, as he unconsciously nestled his face against the other side’s warm chest that was already making him sleepy once again. A yawn tugged at the edge of his lips, teasing him and offering him the very thing he had wanted the night before.

 With Roman here, there was no doubt about whether or not he’d sleep well. 

Fingers tangled themselves into Logan’s hair, smoothing down his hair. “Don’t go back to sleep just yet,” Logan’s eyes that had been attempting to drift shut, snapped open glancing up at the creative side. Sleep hung onto the other, with the remnants being cleared away as Roman lifted his hand up from Logan’s back to rub at his eyes. “We’ve got so much to do today, so we can’t sleep the whole day away. Right?”

Of course, Roman had mentioned something about doing something.

Honestly, it had just slipped his mind with all of the heightened emotions he had been feeling last night, and really… he had honestly just thought Roman was just saying that to get his mind off of what he had said. Roman had never wanted to spend time with him before after all, so the idea that he actually meant it…

It was rather surprising. 

Roman’s fingers raked through Logan’s messy bedhead, attempting to pull the logical side out of whatever had made his eyes look so far away and foggy. The pleased look from the other that this action earned him made Roman want to smile and never stop. He’d made good progress with Logan last night, to the point where now Logan wasn’t even trying to hide the things that made him happy. A part of him would have been content enough to just lay here, with Logan’s head resting so comfortably on his chest, letting the other stew in the comfort of his room. 

But he’d already made plans, and these were plans that he wasn’t going to cancel. 

“Come on,” Roman grunted lifting himself off of the feathery softness of his own bed, only to find himself fighting a strange sense of disappointment when Logan finally lifted his head up, detaching their limbs from one another. “Let’s get dressed, wear something comfortable for you. I’m going to take you on a trip today.”

“Are you going to tell the others?” There was a bolt of dead silence between them, as Roman’s legs hung over the edge of his bed, his back turned to Logan. “About… what I said?” 

A torrent of emotions riled Roman’s insides at the very loaded question that had come so early in the morning for both of them. It was… as much as he disliked it, a very valid question to have about what he’d heard and what he’d seen Logan going through. It wasn’t something that he could just ignore, and it wasn’t something that could just be swept under the rug. Feelings and emotions like that… they didn’t just go away after one good night's rest and one good day spent. It had to be worked on, and… Roman knew that there were going to be slipping days. Where Logan would inevitably fall back into that rabbit hole of dark thoughts, where he missed the feeling of being sad even if he was doing better. 

“I don’t know.” He honestly said, and he didn’t. There wasn’t much that sides could do in order to help their own mental issues. “Do you want me to tell them?” 

He could feel the other side of the bed shifting as Logan scrunched up where they had just been laying together. He could imagine what the logical side looked like. His legs pulled up to his chest, perhaps hugging a pillow, or maybe just sitting there looking away from Roman with thoughts and emotions that the creative side didn’t really understand yet. 

“I don’t think I want them to know,” Logan finally spoke. “I know for certain that I don’t want Thomas to know, and I can’t promise I won’t have those thoughts and feelings again. I’m sure that they will come back, even if it's not now…” 

Finally Roman turned to look at Logan, the look on his face speaking volumes as to what he was feeling without words even being needed. Reaching over, he grasped the top of Logan’s hand holding it tight enough to get the other’s attention on him and not the wrinkled blankets in his grasp. 

“Logan, I never expected you to not feel those things.” Roman sternly but softly began. “I just don’t want you to deal with them alone. I don’t want you to promise to never try to feel them again, but… maybe to come to someone about them. Be it me, Patton, or Virgil. I don’t want you to have to deal with those kinds of thoughts alone, we…” Roman gave his hand one more squeeze. “We’re stronger together rather than alone, you taught me that remember?” 

An absolutely heart-wrenching look of happiness appeared on Logan’s face at Roman’s reminder, he had taught Roman that. That the chimera was best fought with friends, after recuperating and taking time to rest one's wounds rather than continuously trying to go it alone again and again. How had he forgotten his own lesson so easily? 

It hadn’t been that long ago either. 

“I promise, whoever you decide to go to for help… I’ll be there alongside you should they give you any shit for it.” At that moment Roman felt a little bit of Remus’ wildness, as he grinned sharply back at Logan, a promise of violence somewhere in those words of his that his brother would most definitely be proud of. Had he heard it? But that was to be discussed for a later date, and later arguments should the others decide to not help Logan at all. “Now get dressed dork, I’ve got a lot planned.”  

The purely puzzled but equally curious look on Logan’s face ignited a fierce determination and excitement inside of him. 

A determination to make this the best day possible for this logical side. 

“Why are we out in the real world?” Logan asked almost as soon as they rose up just far from Thomas’ actual house, this wasn’t the mindspace… So Roman wasn’t just going to summon things in the imagination to please Logan and call it a day? “I’m afraid… I don’t quite understand.” He softly admitted, nervously tugging at the strings of the hoodie he had decided to wear. “What if Thomas or one of the others needs us for something?” 

Roman didn’t answer, his face gaining a somewhat cloudy look that told Logan easily enough that this wasn’t necessarily a good topic. 

Instead, he seized Logan’s hand in his own, holding it tight. “Fuck ‘em.” Roman declared, a rather reckless grin playing on his lips. “They can deal until we come back, and really… this is a day for us to enjoy, so let’s enjoy it. No mindspace, no Thomas, and no… problems. Just a fun day out, with lots of real places to go and enjoy for once.” No having Thomas around to tell them what they could or couldn’t do so that they didn’t raise a ruckus, that was the best part in Roman’s opinion. 

But even so, Logan couldn’t help but to nod his head slowly. 

Yes… fun.

Fun. 

How long had it been since he’d had fun with one of the other sides, no… how long had it been since he’d done something fun with Roman that didn’t involve the imagination in some capacity? Or even Patton just strong-arming Roman into making sure that Logan got to come along for the ride, even if he didn’t necessarily enjoy it half of the time.

Roman wanted him here this time, and Roman was smiling at him promising to do things that he’d enjoy as well. 

A tentative smile curled on the logical side’s face, “That sounds rather enjoyable,” He gave Roman’s hand an affirming squeeze. “Lead the way then… Princey.” 

Roman couldn’t help but to let out a good-natured snort at the sound of his old nickname, it had been so long since he’d heard it after all. But more than that… it felt almost empowering to know that Logan had placed his trust in him, to know that he had Logan’s full support with everything that they were going to do today. 

Without so much as another word, he led Logan away and towards the fun that they were both destined to have today; not even looking back once to wonder about the other sides and the human that they were leaving behind for their adventures. 

It was a day for them after all, nobody else. 

 Leading Logan through all of the events he’d planned for him, it honestly kind of shocked Roman as to how much he hadn’t known that he’d been kind of neglecting Logan as a friend. The uncertain responses that he got from Logan, which eventually bridged into full unbridled excitement that had been hiding away for far too long only served as a way to prove Roman’s thoughts correct. Logan had barely let go of his hand in the entire time that they’d started their day trip, not that Roman minded exactly, he’d held him firm as he talked and rambled about the things and places that Roman brought him to. 

So much interesting history, history that Roman would have otherwise brushed off on account of it being too “boring” or too… Logan-ish for him.

It certainly didn’t help the guilt that continuously seemed to boil in his stomach ever since seeing Logan’s breakdown from the previous night. 

If anything, it only served as a way to make him feel just the slightest bit worse for not listening in the first place. 

It was only when settling down with lunch that Logan finally released Roman’s hand and in turn stopped what he was talking about. 

Almost immediately Roman looked over at him, after having spread out the picnic blanket and all of their food, he had almost expected Logan to go off about something like the origins of picnics and how they were created, or something like that. But instead, Logan merely just laid on his back staring up at the sky as the clouds lazily inched across casting vague shadows onto the earth where they were laying. 

“Roman.” Logan softly began, the tone of his voice marginally different than before. Almost immediately Roman’s attention was focused on him, the food surrounding them nothing more than an afterthought. “Why did you come to my room last night?” Glancing over to him, Logan held an almost sad smile on his face. “It can’t have been for anything good right? Up until last night, I’m sure that you hated me and my face.” 

Ah…

The conversation that Roman really didn’t want to have, and the conversation that Logan intuitively knew to ask about. 

A sigh broke through his silence as the creative side rubbed at his face, “Well,” He almost stubbornly began, “First things first, I have not and will never hate you.” Roman started off, pointing his finger in Logan’s direction that sour feeling of guilt bubbling anew. “I don’t think I ever understood you, or how you thought maybe… but never hate. Never.” Knowing what he did now… he could never hate Logan, it was something that he should have realized a long time ago. But in the very least… it was a good thing he was realizing it now and not later when it was too late. “And Second…” Roman grimaced, the memories of Deceit’s… or rather Janus’ reveal tasting like poison on his tongue. 

Logan sat up abruptly at the emotions that flew over Roman’s face like a hurricane ripping through the gulf, his stretched-out legs easily tucking under him as he seemed to give Roman his full attention. His eyes hidden as they were behind his glasses, remained firmly fixed to the creative side's face. 

“What happened?”

There really was no hiding it, was there? 

Roman wanted to snort at the irony of it all, try as he may to hide something. Be that Remus, his own emotions, or just how he was trying and failing to deal with his own shortcomings… everything always came out in one way or another. It was better to just get it all out now, rather than to let someone else tell it without taking his side of the story into context first. 

Hopefully, Logan wouldn’t judge him too harshly for it…

“Roman?” 

The side in question almost smiled, it seemed like it was Logan’s turn to be the one confronting the creative side about his own emotions, as well as the consequences of them. But then again… That’s what friends were for right? He’d said so just last night, when he had tucked Logan away from all of his bad thoughts, and given him the best dream he could possibly think of. 

Logan was his friend, so of course, he’d want to help and hear out Roman’s grievances about what had happened. 

“I…” Roman sighed to himself yet again as he ran his hands over his face, “Messed up.” He lamely explained, grimacing at the terrible explanation that even a toddler could do better than him. “Deceit told us his name… like Virgil did, and I uh… I made fun of it. I didn’t hold back, not like I did with Virgil. After everything that had happened with the wedding, the trial, and… the aftermath I was just so angry for everyone trying to pull me every which way. I was angry at myself for…” Roman stopped, he hadn’t realized when he’d started it, but he’d started to rant. His hands making exaggerated motions as he told Logan about what he’d said about Deceit’s name, and just how far he’d gone when it seemed like Deceit was going to be accepted with no issue. He hadn’t even realized he was ranting until he’d needed to take a breath. “Sorry…” 

Instead of just waving him off, however, or even starting to eat like they’d planned on doing Logan merely cocked his head to the side a curiously befuddled expression on his face. 

“Sorry for what?” The logical side asked, “I asked what was wrong and you’re explaining it to me. You don’t have to apologize to me for talking, I’m here to listen.” 

It was said so simply, but the Roman had the feeling that the words themselves were something that Logan would've wanted to hear months ago when he was airing his own thoughts towards anyone. And as such, it made them so very important to the logical side… it made them true. 

Roman knew that for certain, and yet… it didn’t stop the flood of gratitude that filled his heart. 

Swallowing thickly he nodded, and carried on his voice carrying out well until the sun started to dip behind the trees. By then his chest felt lighter, and his mind clearer as Logan sat there not once daring to look away from Roman as he talked about everything. From his complicated feelings about Patton and Janus, to how he felt about having to switch it up so often with the both of them that it was just leaving him exhausted to the point where he just wanted to agree to get it all over with and save himself the emotional rollercoaster of dealing with the two other sides. Because at least then, he wouldn’t be criticized so harshly, and at least then he would know what was correct and what was wrong in the eyes of Patton. 

Logan understood that notion perfectly well.  

“Sometimes I just don’t know what to do, and I’m angry at myself for it. I want to just decide about something and have that be the end of it, I don’t want to have to come back a week or even a month later and have a whole discussion about what I did being morally wrong, “technically morally wrong but kind of right”, I just want that to be it!” Roman’s chest heaved, and by the end of his rant, he felt the frustrated tears he’d been holding back since that day finally flow down his cheeks as warbling croaking sob cracked in his chest like a broken instrument determined to never play again. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to be wrong...” He sniffled, bringing his hands up to his eyes desperate to wipe away his tears. 

However, almost as soon as he moved to shield his tears from sight, he found himself crushed into a hug. His head pressed solidly against Logan’s collarbone, as the logical side mimicked the motion that Roman himself had done just the other night as he ran his fingers through the creative side’s hair. If anything, the genuine comfort that the other side was attempting to give only made Roman shake harder as he clutched Logan tightly. 

It felt so nice to finally be on the receiving end of comfort after so long of just giving it. 

“I think…” Logan gently whispered, not daring to make his voice louder. “What I’ve learned is that you can try and try to choose the answer that will always please somebody else. But… it won’t work, if they don’t even know what they want then they will always find some fault with it, and that’s not your fault.” Feeling Roman stilling in his arms Logan didn’t dare to stop. “The best you can do in that situation is to make yourself happy, not for their approval… but your own. If they like it, then that’s perfectly fine. If not…” Logan gave an awkward shrug that the creative side only clung to harder. “Then they can make their own choices, and see just how difficult it is to do. Pleasing everyone all the time is impossible and if you try you’re still going to end up stepping on someone’s toes, I’ve learned that the hard way.” 

Plucking up the napkins that they had prepared for the lunch, Logan hastily moved to wipe away Roman’s tears, trying to be gentle the entire time he did. 

He’d thought before that Roman was practically his opposite in the past, but seeing the other side breakdown from all the expectations that had been placed on him without the creative side even knowing… Logan felt a strange kind of understanding with him. The same kind that he’d gained when he’d had all the expectations placed on him to make Thomas succeed in school and in college. The kind that had made him want to stop existing in the first place, when Thomas had just up and decided to switch majors and pursue YouTube as a full-time job instead of being a scientist. 

He knew what Roman was feeling all too well, so with this kind of emotion, he could at least help instead of being a hindrance to everyone around him.

Roman sniffled once again, taking the napkin from Logan so that he could blow his nose, “Logan,” He flopped back onto the blanket, looking up at the stars that were just barely beginning to show in the night sky. “We should do this more often.” He said, glancing over to the logical side who shot him a concerned and very much confused look.

“Cry about our repressed feelings?”   

For the first time in a while, a real laugh erupted out of Roman at the sound of Logan’s genuine confusion and uneasiness about his offer. 

“No,” The creative side moved his hand over to the other’s, clenching it softly in his. “Going out like this, just the two of us. Maybe once a week or once a month. Just enjoy each other's company, and talk about whatever we want to talk about. Even if we get on each others’ nerves sometimes…” Roman smiled ruefully. “I like talking with you, and I like listening to you too.” 

A look of understanding dawned on Logan’s face, and with it, the logical side finally laid down beside Roman. 

Their were hands still clutching one anothers’.

“I’d like that Roman,” Logan smiled up at the starry sky that finally became visible to them both. “I’d like that a lot.”  

#roman sanders #ts roman #ts roman sanders #logan sanders #ts logan #ts logan sanders #logan angst #roman angst #ts sanders sides #ts sides #ts sanders sides fanfic #ts sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #qpr logince

[clefairymuke]

regrets | chapter five

prev. chapter | next chapter

pairings: levi ackerman x reader / eren jaeger x reader

themes: enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut

tw: violence / explicit sexual content

word count: 2028

Erwin had made an announcement at breakfast, and it took a few hours to settle into your bones. At first, you were excited -- you all were before the reality of the next few days really set in. Finally, something different, you had thought, knowing your friends shared the sentiment. Now, as you laid out your uniform for the events of tomorrow morning, fear infected your brain. There would be a scouting expedition outside the walls tomorrow.

You had just returned from another stables rendezvous with Eren. Today made a week of meeting him every night. You had one more week of bliss ahead of you, and this had to fuck it all up. You were angry, and afraid, and exhausted. Everyone was fast asleep around you, making you envious. You doubted you would be able to sleep much that night. You dropped into your bed, letting out a soft groan. You loved being a Scout, and you weren't necessarily afraid of titans, either. You were mostly afraid of losing someone. Before every mission, you thought about your friends. Sometimes you felt like you were the only one in the group that wondered if you would all make it back alive.

You tried to distract yourself by thinking about Eren, but it didn't work. He was nothing but excited about tomorrow's expedition. He had talked about it all night while you nodded your head in agreement, not wanting to ruin his mood. You knew you would be riding alongside him and your friends the next day, led by Levi. Having Sasha, Connie, and Jean near you would ease your mind a bit, you hoped. It was hard to be upset that you were on Levi's squad, despite hating him. At least you knew your friends would be well protected.

After what felt like hours of laying there in frightening thought, you finally drifted off to sleep. Instead of terrifying memories in your dreams, you saw your friends being eaten right in front of you. It's safe to say you didn't sleep for long.

---

You could feel your horse breathing underneath you. His breaths were slow and calm. You wished you could share his collected nature. Your breaths, on the other hand, were shallow and quick. You could feel your heartbeat in your skull; it seemed to block out all the noise around you. You started forward, kicking your heel into your horse's side as your eyes focused on the back of Levi's head. Jean was next to you, then Eren and Mikasa. Connie, Sasha, and Armin were behind. You thought Jean might have said something before he smiled over at you, but you couldn't hear him. As the walls grew further behind you, your heart sunk to your stomach.

You could see red flares shot along the edges of the formation every few minutes. It was morbid, but you couldn't help but be glad that you and your friends were positioned in the middle. You worried for Historia and Ymir, but you knew they wouldn't allow anything to happen to the other if they could help it. They were likely safer with each other than they would be with Erwin himself.

It was unlikely that you and your friends would encounter a titan on this mission until it was time to complete your objective. The goal was to capture an abnormal titan; it was mostly to satisfy Hange's insatiable curiosity, but there was no denying that any information would be valuable to the people of Paradis.

You saw it. A mix of "finally" and anxiety settled into your bones as the black flare shot into the sky, seemingly straight into the sun. It was on the edge of the formation, too far for you to actually lay your eyes on the titan. Then, less than a minute later, another column of black erupted -- closer this time. You winced at the thought of your dead comrades on the edge. Another erupted, even closer to the middle.

"This titan is moving impossibly fast," Jean commented, his voice strained in worry. Levi did not look back, or at the flares.

"Stay focused on the objective," he said flatly, not allowing his eyes to falter even as the flares grew closer.

You could see the titan now, just barely. The top of its head was covered in dull brown hair. It seemed to be a quadriped titan; it ran like an animal, the ground exploding around each step. You tried to ignore the blood and limbs mixed with it. It wasn't easy. It and the black smoke grew so close you couldn't stand it.

"Levi," you called, your voice unwavering despite your stomach being in knots. "What do we do?"

"Focus on your mission."

"Do you see how many people are dead?" you asked, anger filling your chest. "We cannot capture this titan."

"What did you expect to happen? Did you think the abnormal we captured would be The Peaceful Titan? Don't act dense. You are a soldier. Focus on your orders," the ice in his voice fueled the fire in yours.

"So we're to wait around while our comrades die?"

"Yes."

You could see it clearly now. The titan bounded toward the middle. You were nowhere near where you needed to be to successfully capture it. There were no trees, nothing to grab onto. The plan was absolutely meaningless. It was like you were blinded when you saw its horrifying face. You were sure this would be the moment you experienced your friends meeting their end. Connie shot his flare as it edged closer.

"Push forward," Levi stated coldly. "It will chase."

"Our horses can't move that fast," Armin spoke up. "We'll be dead before we reach the forest." You could feel the ground shake. Fellow scouts approached it in waves, five to ten of them fighting to protect Levi Squad at a time, and all of them dying one by one before your eyes.

It happened so quickly you knew you'd be completely unable to recall any of the events unfolding in front of you. Like time skipped, the titan was gripping Jean in its hand, so large it nearly covered him entirely as it lifted him to its open mouth. You weren't sure what happened between witnessing your worst fear and your ODM gear penetrating the titan's shoulder, but you were hurdling toward the titan without any plans.

Your instincts kicked in as you ripped out of its shoulder and connected your gear to its legs instead, slicing the wrist that held Jean on your way down. You went for its ankles in an attempt to render it immobile, but you knew it could continue to drag itself forward with its hands if need be. It fell, unable to catch itself because of the deep slice in its wrist. You watched, almost allowing yourself to smile, as Jean wiggled free and climbed atop Connie's horse. Your celebration was cut short, however, when the titan's knee fell onto your leg, pinning you to the ground.

Everything was blurry for a moment after your head slammed to the ground. It was almost enough to keep you from feeling the excruciating pain in your left leg as the bone snapped. But not quite. You laid there in absolute agony, unsure of what exactly was going on around you. You could feel the heat as the titan healed above you, but you couldn't focus enough to consider what would happen when it healed completely.

One second you were still on the ground, hearing the shouts of your friends as slurred-together, entirely meaningless words. The next, you were in the titan's hand, your body completely enveloped. The pressure on your leg was not doing you any favors. The only coherent thought in your head was that you were absolutely going to die.

In your next conscious moment, you were laid across a pair of arms -- a touch you didn't recognize. Your vision was blurred as you tried to see the face above you, slowly coming into focus. The head was backlit by the sun, like a halo. You felt your lips turn up a bit, woozy and dreamy. Your smile dropped as your eyes focused and the pain set back in.

Levi was holding you. The titan lay dead behind him.

---

You were getting tired of blurry vision. You awoke in an infirmary bed, your leg elevated in the air by some sort of sling. Your eyes started to flutter closed again, though you fought your hardest. The only thing able to keep you from returning to peaceful and painless sleep was the voice piping up at your side.

"Are you a fucking idiot?"

Levi. Again. You were absolutely exhausted from his seemingly constant presence.

"Sometimes. Why?" you managed to get out of your aching, dry throat. You looked around for water and saw some on the table next to you. You started to sit up and reach for it, but he knocked your hand back to your side with his own and grabbed it quickly. He handed it to you, almost gently. You took it from him, brow furrowed, and lifted it to your mouth.

"Do you realize how completely stupid your stunt out there was? You nearly died," he told you, leaning back in his chair.

"Was I supposed to just let it eat Jean?" you asked him, anger in your voice. "I would've rather died."

"No, you were supposed to let me handle it. You had no orders to attack."

"I didn't need orders. My friend was about to die. You weren't handling it."

"I ended up handling it anyway, didn't I? If you would've stood down in the first place, I could've done it without any injuries on my squad. But, because you had to protect your boyfriend and couldn't trust your commanding officer, I'm left with one of my best soldiers stuck in bed for no fucking reason. Can you see how frustrating that is?"

"He's not my boyfriend," you told him. It felt stupid that that was the first thing that came from your mouth.

"Ah, yes," he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "There's the boyfriend situation as well."

"What boyfriend situation?"

"Eren came to sit with you last night. He felt inclined to recount certain events in the stables," He said flatly, his grey eyes piercing yours with strange anger.

You were mortified. Your hand clenched around the glass of water so tightly you were sure it would break. You struggled to maintain eye contact, the last thing you wanted being showing weakness to the insufferable man sat beside you.

"He's already aware that I know, and is awaiting punishment. I haven't yet decided what would best suit this situation. I'm sure your fellow soldiers know, as well. I wasn't exactly secretive in my scolding," he smirked, so small you were sure you wouldn't have noticed it it your eyes weren't focused so solely on his expression.

You finally gained the courage to speak as his words sent rage flooding through your veins. "Why does it matter to you?"

"Well, you broke explicit rules, to start with. Secondly, what if you were to fall pregnant? Do you realize how dangerous that could be for yourself? Not to mention that Eren is not entirely safe to be around; we do not know all that there is to know about his titan. He is dangerous."

"He's not dangerous, Levi."

"Perhaps he isn't. But I can assure you that I am. If there's one thing you will learn before you are healed enough to fight again, it's respect. I'm tired of you acting stupid, brat. Grow up a bit."

You huffed, taking a gulp from your glass of water. You refused to look at him.

"I'll be back to monitor your progress. For now, I have to leave. I'm sure your friends would like to discuss your secret meetings with Eren, anyway. I think I saw Jean waiting in the hall."

With that, he rose, took the glass from your hand and set it on the table, turned, and left.

You promptly decided that you were fucked.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #aot fanfiction #aot #aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk x reader #snk #eren x reader #enemies to lovers #eren jaeger #eren yeager #slowburn

[honestlyfrance]

find me in san francisco

ship: sam/bucky

warning: violence, cursing, apocalypse

summary:

Bucky looked over to Sam for a moment before speaking, "Las Vegas may have currency but it doesn't have you."

OR

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes stumble upon each other once more at the aftermath of war.

—■—■—

Run. That’s what you do best anyway, isn’t it?

The view of a beachside stretches, the sand a murky grey with glasses and scraps of metal lining the boardwalk as if washed up against the rough and harsh soil, leaning against the ugly and crumbling brick wall where the actual boardwalk started up above at a level, and at a low tide the pitch-black ocean water lapped against the side at an increasingly frightening pace, as if it was always unsteady, always unnatural. Here on this sand, he ran, clad in a black ensemble, a matching WWII remnant design gas mask on his face, tubes attached to an oxygen tank he had in a backpack. He almost left no boot prints on the shore due to the dense debris that littered there. It was frightening what the last decade had given the earth — so terrible.

The man was running as fast as he could, biting down his tongue as he breathed at an interval of every three minutes – he had managed to breathe every five or six minutes when he was idle, and he has yet to learn to save his breath as he runs. He reaches the staircase that led to the boardwalk, hopping up the marble steps that cracked at every step he made, turning and twisting until he made his way out of the abandoned boardwalk, and was it just him when the stores and barest frames of buildings moaned in agony as the only life that passed through its once lively soul had left as soon as it arrived, or was it just the hunger that nipped at his guts?

He ended up by the road, and it was abandoned by cars and people, buildings just as decayed and bare as the ones in the boardwalk. He looked around for a moment, frantically—he has perfected the art of saving his breath, he’s been breathing for an interval of four minutes now, based on his watch. He took a right and ran as fast as his legs could go, which was a fast jog that could carry him for three hours at most without wasting his breath. 

As the road ended up uphill, with him leaning forward against the heavy pull of gravity from below, there was a view of a clinic before the T-intersection. Our man didn’t falter in step and breath as he reached the clinic, breaking the glass door in one swing with his right elbow. The glass door cracked and shattered in a million diamonds, bouncing on the floor and sticking to his sleeves. He patted them off and entered through the door, invading the empty veterinarian’s clinic.

He went into a room, where the surgeries occur and found some more oxygen gas tanks. Out of all twenty of them only six had not been wasted. He took them all. His tank was still full, but he took them. No more for the strays who would try to salvage for oxygen, the only thing left for them is the decaying flesh and bones of animals in cages in the next room. He took them, placed them in his retractable wagon, and pulled north.

He hears the faintest sound, but he hasn't faltered. He walked slowly now, his breathing smooth as water as his ears tried to pick up the source of the sound. It rolled on the ground. Heavy. Faraway. It didn't change pace.

Our man, who used to go by Sam Wilson, had continued on his way, squaring his shoulders as his jaw clenched beneath the mask, and for once, he had let his guard down. He trusted his heart over his gut —  he let his eyes wander towards the ground because it felt right to do so. God, when was the last time Sam had relaxed? Swinging his arms as he hummed a tune— When was the last time he could touch the sky and feel free?

It was a car. Some Mercedes. A dark shade of green. It had a pop of silver on the hood, what used to be a logo now scratched off, but there was definitely a wing in there.

The passenger window rolled down when the car had matched Sam's pace. Sam didn't want to look, didn't want to disappoint himself and get shot again. He didn't want to let his hopes wander towards the heavens just so it can fall so fast like what happened to Lucifer. He didn't want to die, to have that sliver of mercy turn into a knife.

The man in the car was covered top to bottom in a black ensemble, what they used to call the Winter Soldier armor due to the uniqueness and durability. Sam didn't want his hopes to get too high, so he assumed that the stranger wanted to steal his wagon of oxygen tanks. The atmosphere is thinning so fast, it's incomprehensible; everybody would do anything to live.

Sam whiplashed, pulled out his knife from his thigh holster, twirling it in his fingers before pulling his elbow back — it all happened too fast, next thing Sam knew, the stranger had leaned back into the driver's seat as soon as the knife had lodged itself into the driver seat window, barely an inch away from the man.

The man laughed for a moment as if it was the most adorable thing he had witnessed. His breath hitched and his arms were crossed over his chest as if he actually believed that was where Sam was aiming for.

"Nice car." Sam spoke, his words deeply muffled by his mask, it almost sounded like another language, "I'm taking it."

The man had no time to react because, by the time he had regained his stature, Sam had reached in and unlocked the passenger door, swinging it open. Holding onto the side and door of the car, Sam lifted himself and swung both his feet towards the man's chest, successfully knocking the air out of him. 

As the man had choked, Sam swung himself inside and closed the door shut, leaving his wagon outside. He sat on the passenger's seat, looking over at the wheezing man. Grabbing the man's right arm and locking it under his arm, Sam elbowed the man to the chest, throat, and nose, feeling the satisfying ringing pain shooting through his skin. Sam had worn elbow pads, decorated it with silver spikes even — poor man.

Sam had twisted the man's right arm — the man grunted like a trapped animal — and forced him to duck, and with a spare hand, he grabbed the man by the collar, slamming his face into the wheel, earning several short honks, not loud and long enough for anyone in the radius to hear.

The man heaved as Sam pulled him back, even caressing the back of the man's neck, letting the stranger have a few breaths of air for a moment. What a saint Sam was. Sam abruptly squeezed the man's neck, earning a satisfying whine. As Sam was reaching over for the knife lodged in the window, the man had uppercut him in the stomach, earning an alarming wheeze from our man. With a final tug from Sam and a punch by the man, they found themselves overcome with adrenaline.

Sam pulled the knife out of the window with a grunt, pushing the knife through the man's thigh with a terrifying shringggg, eliciting a muffled scream from him.

Sam pushed the man away from him and slid against the passenger door, heaving heavily, already afraid of how much oxygen he lost in the fight. His head felt light, and there's a ringing pain in his abdomen, one that urged him to caress it with a gentleness which his gloves contrasted. 

The driver's seat door suddenly swung open and an arm had stuck in and dragged the stranger out of the car, rolling on the ground with a gurgled grunt. The stranger tried standing up despite his injured leg but the man had pulled the knife out of his shin, eliciting a garbled line of a shriek as he collapsed on the asphalt road.

Sam rolled his eyes as he opened up his own door, pulling in the oxygen tanks one by one as the new man continued to clean up the scene, wiping the knife and pocketed it in his holster. Sam had retracted back his wagon and pocketed it as he closed the door, the new man taking the last man's seat in the car, his eyes blanketed by his dark goggles.

The new driver shifted gear and removed the handbrake, stepping on the gas quite slowly to avoid the roar of the engine or the screeching of tires. This man spoke, his words muffled deeply, signing as he said, "Run over?"

Sam waved a hand, shaking his head, and there's a glint in his eyes as he glanced over to the man wearing a black ensemble just like his, but there's a filter mask instead, more sleek and functional, something the Winter Soldier armor couldn't have, the actual original one that belonged to Bucky Barnes.

Bucky's eyes had joy in them as he looked over to Sam. The car moved for a few feet away from the grunting stranger, then Bucky shifted the gear to reverse, looking over at the rearview mirror until he deeply injured the man's legs. Bucky took his time in shifting back to drive, the car jumping a bit as they continued on with stealing the car. 

"I didn't think you'd come," Sam signed with one hand, leaning his head against the closed window, his chest rising and falling heavily. "You were on the way to Las Vegas."

Bucky looked over to Sam for a moment before speaking, "Las Vegas may have currency but it doesn't have you." 

Sam had to take a moment before figuring out what the man was saying, and when he did, he smiled under his mask, closing his eyes as it reached them. Groaning, Sam shook his head at that, Bucky laughing at the side as he maneuvered the car through the throes of wrecked cars and metal of the San Francisco streets.

The wreckage of the road, of course, only stretched the more the car rolled down the disaster of a scene. The afternoon sky was dull and settling as the winds whistled a low tune, but even then it was merely a delusion, merely a fictitious ensemble, something more of a mirage, a ploy to the senses. Decorating the asphalt road were small fires that were either already burning or had suddenly combusted out of nowhere, and other than this, the afternoon harsh sun rays were bouncing off of the reflective surfaces of dismantled cars, almost disfiguring the two men’s sight from the windshield. 

It's almost like an ode to the old world, a painting dedicated to the world before downfall played into fate, something of a music piece played for the masses disguised as the Trojan horse. Our two men had sat in silence as this scenery passed by them, but all they felt was tension and war in their veins, their gazes as strong as liquor and they despised that — despised how much they could've gotten if nothing ever happened in the first place.

Bucky reached over to Sam quiet hesitantly, grabbing his attention with a slight tap. Sam's eyes glanced at Bucky's hand, watching the way Bucky signed, slowly, as if wanting Sam to take it all in, I'm sorry.

Sam spoke, but his words were chopped and deeply muffled, barely comprehensible, but Bucky knew what he was trying to say with the way Sam's eyebrows hardened, the quick tick of his jaw, and the softness in his ocher eyes. Sam's nervous, forgiving, I was okay without you.

Bucky's eyebrows relaxed, and he wanted so badly to remove his goggles but he knew he shouldn't, so he nodded, cleared his throat, and said: "You were always okay without me."

Sam nodded. They both knew. Sam was always fine on his own, but he felt that need for a companion and he adored Bucky's like Apollo's Icarus — like a scar down one's spine, one made out of love, ambition, and yearning. 

"I wanted to be human. I wanted someone," Sam spoke, only signing it when he had gathered himself. He had set his head against the window, his breath shuddering as he added one last bit, "I wanted it to be you."

There's heat rising in Bucky's chest and all he could think of was how much Sam was attracted to it, but he's afraid he'd burn the angel because people like Bucky only ever did was hurt the most beautiful things in the world, but damnit, Sam wasn't beautiful.

People like Sam were ugly to the bone because they don't truly believe in peace and beauty. They've fought tooth and nail to accept fate with stardust in their eyes and that journey alone was frightening, murderous intent for all.

It's scary to think someone like Sam wasn't able to love because he was just so full of it.

"I want to love you," Bucky speaks, and they were soon going down a steep road. He moves methodically to drive them quietly. "I want to be with you too."

Sam signs, furiously, his eyebrows knitted together as his eyes had a sadness in them Bucky couldn't pinpoint. "Then why did you leave?"

Bucky's hand flew to the clasps of his goggles, but then he stopped, realized what he was doing, and slowly set his hand back down on the steering wheel. Sam was watching the man with wide eyes, silent and nervous as if they were going to suddenly combust at any moment, and maybe they were with the way flames lick their skin as if hungry peasants — maybe they were those hungry peasants.

"To survive. Didn't realize that's an empty wish if I didn't find companionship — you, when I was already so far away." Bucky replied, and his voice was clear, a little murky, but Sam heard it all, even the man's heartbeat laced around the words. "I didn't want to live greedily, I wanted to live loved and to love."

Sam turned back to face the road, his arms crossed over his chest as his eyes caught sight of the hood of the car. There were a million thoughts that ran through his head at the speed of light, but he wasn't baffled when these thoughts turned to plans, survival plans, plans with Bucky Barnes. His lip squirmed under the mask and it hurts to even smirk, but Sam's heart is so full of emotions he never thought he could feel again and it's euphoric.

Sunlight dances on grass and Sam could feel himself breathe freely again as if he was alive before the war. He could feel Bucky's flesh hand in his and there are the softness and toughness of skin he craved after the war. There were too many feelings in Sam's chest that made him weep, but he stayed stoic, stared out the windshield, his jaw hurting as he tried his best to stop his smile.

They were on flat ground and Sam made a sound Bucky thinks was laughter. Bucky's chest fluttered just like the first time he heard that laugh — before the war.

Sam's gloved fingers find their way grazing Bucky's jaw, only a fleeting feeling none of them could feel, but there's warmth in their chests as Sam cupped another hand around the man's cheek, their hearts singing in octaves as Apollo fell instead of Icarus; all backward love, they'll make it worth it.

Sam leaned into Bucky's face and their masks made a clicking sound when they met. This was the closest they could get to kissing, but it's not truly a love story if lips had to prove it. Don't you hear the world still just for them? 

Sam stared at the goggles, thinking he could see Bucky's eyes flutter close, fighting to keep them open. Sighing, Sam closed his eyes to take at the moment, the new normal they can have.

Letting go, Sam leaned back into his seat, saying, signing, "We just stole S.H.I.E.L.D. property."

There's a trace of a grin on Bucky's words when he said, "What bastards. You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sam turned to Bucky, and they share a sound similar to a laugh.

"As always." 

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winterfalcon #sam wilson sundays #france: writing #france: works

[7wanderingpaws]

Mess We Made - third

(gif not mine)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, ANGST

Words: 9K

WARNINGS: language, mentions of blood, violence, aggressive behavior

Quick A/N: Another angsty ride ❤ plesae let me know your thoughts? ^^

tags: @byunfirstlady @blackon @puppyeoliepop @in3vitably3v3​ @mangobaek @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @exortedgoods @gureuma (if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)

parts: first – second – third -- fourth (last)

masterlist

.

Mess We Made, part 3

It happened sooner than later. If one can state that two years later was considered sooner. For you, it was. Despite how every minute without him felt like a year itself, it was still too soon for you.

When it happened, it was sudden. Of course it was sudden. You never expected to see him any more. You even hoped you wouldn’t because you knew you would lose control over your wild emotions that you always bore for him.

When you saw him walking towards you, a pretty, though older lady hanging off his shoulder, you had an immediate flashback.

“It-it has to be you,” you told him shakily, avoiding his eyes. You were squeezing your fingers harshly, the skin around them turning a sick white. “-who breaks up with me. If you do it, it will be easier on you. In fact,” you added with more passion and made the mistake to look up at him. He had a confused, shocked expression and his eyes looked so sad it broke your heart in an instant. The ends of his eyes seemed to be exceptionally turned down-ward looking like a lost child that was looking for any form of kindness. You weren’t giving it to him. “I will tell my parents you broke up with me, Baek,” you gritted, preventing the desperate sobs to take over. “You will go and find love. Find a woman who can be with you only, like you always wanted to.”

“No. I don’t need a woman. I need you,” he insisted, tears welling the brims of his eyes. “I only ever wanted you, love, don’t do this.”

You shook your head resolutely. “No. I really can't do this anymore. You are breaking up with me and I am agreeing, Baekhyun. This is it. This is the end.”

You were brought back to reality when you heard a melodious laugh that was followed with hers. Baekhyun had a throaty laugh that you remembered all too well, though you knew it wasn’t easy to get it out from him, especially during university. He never laughed like that with the opposite sex. Yet, here you were.

Baekhyun wasn’t keeping in touch with you just like you made him swear on the day of your breakup, but still, seeing another woman hanging off his shoulder in such a clingy way made blood run down from your face and it actually made you sick to your stomach. It felt like a bile was rising in your throat. Irony, given how you were headed to a wedding salon to choose your wedding dress. Irony, that your fiancée was waiting at the store, yet Baekhyun was just in a nearby park that you had to cross in order to get to the damn salon.

Your mother was next to you, giving you a confused look when she focused on the spot your eyes were trained at, body standing frozen. It didn’t take her too long to recognize Baekhyun, and just as you expected, a smirk followed by a breathy snicker fell out of her thin lips.

“Oh, well, isn’t that your lovely ex.”

He was smiling so brightly. You knew that smile. Only people who were really, really deserving of it received it. She must have been infatuating to him if he had such a huge smile on his tanned face. He laughed at something she said and she covered her mouth prettily, while she still had his upper arm in her grip while he watched her giggle.

“Honey, let’s go. This isn’t a theatre and we have important business to attend to,” said your mother after a silent break, putting her big sunglasses on, not noticing how you actually couldn’t see anything anymore, because your eyes were filled with tears, making everything smudgy and blurry. You needed to sit down. You needed a cold shower, or preferably a painful punch in your face that would make you unconscious and give you amnesia. This was too much. You couldn’t bear looking at them.

Your mother murmured your name sternly before you felt her cold grip on your wrist, tugging you towards the wedding store. “What the hell are you doing? Stop this nonsense and come!”

Your chin was trembling and you closed your eyes as you let out a loud sob, quickly covering your mouth with your hand hoping the couple didn’t hear it.

“Stop wailing! He doesn’t need you anymore, can’t you see?” she continued, whisper-yelling. “I was telling you from the beginning he doesn’t want you, you silly girl!”

You shook your head, trembles taking over your limbs. Needing her to shut up, you started walking quickly towards the salon’s direction, not wanting to meet them, but it was too late. A gentle gasp could be heard when you snapped your eyes open, causing more tears to roll down your face. He stood frozen just a few meters from you. 

“Oh dammit,”  your mother snapped, huffing as she looked at Baekhyun who was staring in shock, taking in your state.

He murmured your name gently, but you started walking again, not giving him another moment. The woman’s smile was slowly disappearing as she was putting two and two together and even though Baekhyun wanted to walk after you, your mother’s cold words stopped him, which only fueled your steps. Squeezing your eyes shut, you just hurried ahead not caring for your step. Disappearing was the only goal.

“I always knew you weren’t worthy of my daughter. But if you make her cry once more, I swear your title and job will be jeopardized.” She paused as she smiled wickedly at the woman next to him. “Aw, what a gorgeous lady that is. Wish you only the best in the future.”

Baekhyun gave only a scarce glance to your mother, for his eyes were following your figure, long out of the earshot. “We are only co-workers. Doctor Kim is my senior in the clinic.”

Your mother raised an uninterested eyebrow and started walking towards the direction you disappeared into, not sparing the confused couple another glance. “Oh, well, that’s a touching story you have there, Mr Byun. If you’ll excuse me - and my daughter - we are headed to the wedding salon. Today, the bride is trying on her wedding dresses.”

//

You were pulling the dress over your curves when you heard your mother tsk from behind you. She didn't bother closing the curtains like you asked her to, instead enjoying having the entire staff looking at the way you were dressing. Why couldn't the Earth swallow you up?

“Why wouldn’t you eat?” she scolded harshly, interrupting your desperate thoughts, while you heard a distant chuckle of Mr Kwon - well, Minheob to you now.

“I prefer her like that, mother, don't pester her too much,” were his words.

Letting out a sigh, you felt your nose prickle with an upcoming crying spree. It seemed that you almost calmed down, but every single negative word uttered by anyone around you was ticking you off and you wished you could run.

Trying dresses was once your dream and you had it perfectly thought out, too. You had a clear image of whom you were dressing up for, but that was all in vain now. Wedding was something that was supposed to bring you happiness, smiles, excitement with a little bit of headache given how much had to be taken care of; it was just a headache for you now.

Once the dress was up and over your breasts, the salon worker stepped in with a strained smile and helped you tie it properly so it would stick. She gave it a particularly harsh push and you gasped, frowning at her in the mirror.

“Excuse me, miss,” she mumbled, her look worried as she focused on the job at hand.

“It’s alright,” your fiancée spoke up, finally standing next to your mother so he could check you out in the dressing room. “We need to push it up a little bit.” His smirk brought a wave of nausea over you. Gulping it down, you stood upright and walked out of the dressing room wanting to check yourself in the natural light next to the huge window.

When you saw yourself, your heartbeat sped up. The sight was beautiful and the dress was made just for you; literally. Your cleavage was out but the skirt was tall, long and wide, your body disappearing under the countless metres of textile.

“It's a little loose on the chest,” commented the salon worker as she tiptoed over to you, momentarily breaking you out of your trance. “I'm going to pin the front together,” she informed you and waited for your agreement. You bit your lip and nodded, turning your head towards the window to see the world behind the glass while she worked in front of you.

Everything seemed so typical for Gangnam. People were rushing around, some in fancy suits, others in pretty dresses, many of them owning luxurious cars. You weren’t an exception, of course. Your husband-to-be bought you a red Mustang so that you could move around freely, doing the business around your freshly established lingerie shop.

Someone caught your eye as he walked past, this time by himself. It was all in slow motion when he turned his gaze, not particularly looking out for anything, until he spotted the long skirt of your dress and he realized someone was trying it on. His eyes shot up right away, meeting your widened ones. You felt your chest rising up and down in the corset when Baekhyun abruptly stopped walking and stared at your face.

“Maybe tie it up a little loose,” ordered your mother with a strict voice, her focus solely on the worker who had her hands in the front of your dress. “I’m going to try to make her eat a little more; we want to give an impression of a full bosom and soon to be a mother.”

Baekhyun became blurry in your eyes in the meantime as your eyes burned up. It was painful; him witnessing you trying on a dress that wasn’t meant for him. Both of you were in the right age to marry and you were sure you would have done it were you both living under different circumstances.

Slowly, his eyes drank up your figure, until they reached the hem of the skirt that was pooled around you. He hung his head and nodded once to himself before he looked up and gave you one last glance. He opened his mouth, just the slightest bit, and mouthed: “Beautiful.”

//

It was half a year later when you found yourself at a very dreaded place.

“We need to make sure you are actually fertile,” hissed your mother into your ear as you were making your way towards the entrance of the clinic located in Gangnam. Both hers and your high-heeled shoes were clinking when you entered, gaining the attention of the personnel at the reception.

“Oh, Mrs Kwon!” They bowed to you in 90 degrees which made you frown and uncomfortable.

“Why do they already know me?” you muttered to your mother who was faking a proud smile in every direction.

“Quite a shame you don't even know which buildings and businesses your husband owns. Thought after being with him for a long while you'd know,” she replied and faked an even brighter smile when the receptionist came over to you.

“Please, follow me. The staff is already waiting.”

“Mum,” you whimpered, slowing your steps in hopes to stop the whole process. As much as you wanted to have your own kids, you really didn't want them with Minheob. He not once touched you when you didn't want it which was a huge surprise, but he also never failed to remind you how his patience wasn't unlimited. Fair enough. A man needs his woman, he would growl into your ear. Still, you were thankful to him for respecting your wishes. Even when you graduated and he wanted an immediate wedding ceremony, he respected your wishes to wait since you couldn't get over your breakup with Baekhyun for the life of you. Minheob accepted even that. Now, it was your turn to give him something, but you only wished for your infertility. That was all. You wanted to become useless for him.

“Stop the tantrum,” hissed your mother, “people are staring. Just get in. I will be there, too,” she added as if it would make the situation any better.

With trembly legs, you followed into the elevator and got off at one of the higher floors that seemed very high-end. No wonder, your husband was the owner after all.

The kind worker led you to one of the big offices where she knocked once and smiled, urging you to go in. You did as she told, masking your messed up state behind a cold look, just like a wife of a wealthy man should.

Inside was a nurse, preparing the bed next to which were countless trays with injections and tampons.

“Hello, Mrs Kwon,” she greeted politely, “the doctor should be here any minute. Please, take a seat.”

Nervously, you bit your lip and nodded, not meeting her gaze as you sat in front of the table. You looked at the stupid chair with stirrups in the corner and felt even more nerves kick in.

“Stop fidgeting,” your mother scolded again when she saw your knee going up and down. “I swear you act like a virgin.”

You snapped your head to her, sending her a glare. “Mother,” you warned, “stop pestering me so much. It's thanks to you that we are here.”

She smiled. “Very well it is thanks to me. Imagine you'd ended up with that boy-”

Before you could snap at her, anger fuming in you at her audacity to bring Baekhyun up again (and this time without even a reason), the doors opened and two figures stepped in.

It was an older woman which you immediately recognized. She was the one who was in the park that day with Baekhyun, laughing. That knowledge immediately set alarms off in your brain and you looked at the taller figure behind her just for your heart to completely stop. When you thought you just died from heart dysfunction, your heartbeat took off into a huge frenzy, bumping loudly in your ears when your eyes met Baekhyun’s.

“Mrs Kwon, what a pleasure,” chirped the doctor with a pleasant smile. If she recognized you, she didn't show it for which you were thankful.

Standing up, you realized how your legs became completely jelly-like, almost letting out under you. You swallowed on a dry throat, your hands breaking out in sweat when you felt Baekhyun's eyes following your every move. The doctor shook hands with you and your mother who seemed displeased at Baekhyun for the slightest of moments before faking another smile. You thought it was too late for her to play pretend for both Baekhyun and doctor Kim, as she introduced herself, already knew the way she was acting with them. Especially Baekhyun. Yet, it didn't stop the male from bowing to her politely, always making sure to pay respects to your mother.

“Well, I received all the orders from your husband,” started doctor Kim and pointed at Baekhyun, stepping aside so you could see him well. “If you don't mind, doctor Byun will take care of the examinations. He is a doctor in training but he belongs to one of the best. After all, he had been accepted to this clinic,” she laughed.

Your breathing became ragged as you sat back down, relieved to let your wobbly legs rest when you saw both of the doctors sitting opposite you and your mother.

“First I will start off with general questions and then doctor Byun will proceed with the necessary examinations under my supervision, of course,” she added while she was fumbling with papers. You tried hard to avoid looking at Baekhyun but he was like a magnet to your eyes, a golden gravity that brought you peace. Now he was causing more of a turbulence than peace, and you almost let out a squeal when your mother reached out with her hand to squeeze your thigh in warning.

Baekhyun wasn't paying you attention as he was listening to doctor Kim's murmurs, probably giving him instructions and guidelines.

“Alright, Mrs Kwon, do you have any history of taking birth control?” asked doctor Kim with an encouraging smile.

You pressed your lips together, nodding. “I've been taking it for many years. I took pills,” you mumbled, not meeting anyone's eyes in the room. Baekhyun knew this information well, but he still nodded as if he heard it for the first time. 

“When did you stop with the birth control?”

“Just recently. Half a year ago,” you mumbled. “I have very painful periods, so,” you added sheepishly so that nobody - your mother - would think you prolonged your relationship with Baekhyun.

“Have you had regular periods since then?” asked Baekhyun this time, his professional look not short of a kind spark in his eyes and the slightest of smiles.

“Yes,” you answered truthfully.

“But is there a possibility that those pills affected her fertility?” asked your mother with worry that you couldnt take it seriously. She was afraid for her own life, not yours.

Doctor Kim looked at Baekhyun, silently telling him to answer. “Birth control pills can play with the hormones, even affect fertility, but it is not a permanent change. There are many factors playing that can affect your daughter's ability to conceive children,” he explained calmly while your ribcage was under pressure from the tension. His words were giving you a slight heart attack. “That is why blood tests and a pap smear should tell us more.”

“It would have been much more helpful if your husband was here, Mrs Kwon, given we do not know about diseases in his family. Many times, it is the man that is unable to impregnate a woman. But we are focusing on you now,” said doctor Kim. “If you could please tell us how often you have sexual intercourse with your husband.”

Swallowing on a dry throat yet again, you looked down at your sweaty palms in your lap. “It...W-we didn't… I mean we haven't done it.” You went silent when your mother gave your thigh a squeeze which did not go unnoticed by Baekhyun. “Ye-yet.”

“Oh,” doctor Kim let out in surprise, writing in down. You felt Baekhyun's eyes on you the entire time and you wanted to plead. For what exactly, you didn't know. His eyes were so gentle but so, so unreadable. He cleared his throat and looked down at his notes.

“Then, have you had any problems with having sexual intercourse in the past?” he asked in a low tone and looked back up at you. He was way too good at this; pretending everything was fine, like he wasn't the only one who you had sex with in the past. This man knew you inside out; he knew you even better than you knew yourself. 

Jesus, make this stop, you wailed inwardly and shook your head in a tiny no.

You heard a scoff from your mother. “Please, she was a wild teenager,” she said, her eyes blinking dangerously. “I hardly think she had issues. It is just now that she needs to settle down and open up to her husband. Surely you understand,” she laughed but nobody seemed to share her humor when both doctors nodded, Baekhyun's nod more short and curt when he looked back at you.

“Have you been pregnant in the past?” doctor Kim asked and Baekhyun slowly turned his gaze to you. “There are many slip ups, and there are chances that a woman can get pregnant by accident while on the pill.”

You felt gazes on you, though you looked at Baekhyun because the small flashback you had very much involved him, too. Maybe Baekyhun was reliving it as well. 

It was during the first year you were dating and none of you were caring that much about being cautious let alone safe. You still remembered well how you freaked out when your period wouldn’t come and you dragged him to the toilets in school so that he would at least be there as a mental support in case the test turned out to be positive. You knew him barely more than one year, so you didn't expect Baekhyun to hold you tight from behind while you waited the crucial few minutes, his lips puckering on your temple in gentle kisses.

“Were you to be a young mother, I would take responsibility,” he murmured in your ear and that was the moment you knew. You just knew he was the one you always wanted next to you, no matter what situation. A man who was willing to stand up and fight for you, a man who knew where his values stood at and would always be there to remind you he was there for you. Baekhyun had very little. His family barely had a quarter of what your family had, so him putting up a fight, were you to be parents, was a huge statement. He would not have any resources and your family would most probably disown you. “I would always take responsibility.”

Of course, both of you were extremely relieved when it turned out negative, resulting in a tight hug where you hid your face in Baekhyun's chest, his uniform’s shirt a little rough on your blushed cheeks. “Let’s just be a little more careful from now on,” you suggested quietly and he smiled widely, caressing your hair. “I still love you, though,” you muttered to him and his grin grew even wider when you pulled away and pecked him on the lips.

“Love you more,” he had whispered.

You blinked when you’d stretched the silence for too long, quickly looking away from Baekhyun's longing orbs. “I haven't been pregnant.”

“Well, honestly, so far everything seems completely fine,” stated doctor Kim. “We will do the blood tests and just to be 100% sure, I will also ask doctor Byun to do a pap smear and a transvaginal ultrasound. Have you had it done before?”

When you shook your head in fear, the doctor smiled warmly. “There is no need to be worried. It is just a tiny examination.” She looked at your mother. “I am afraid I will have to ask you to leave until the examinations are done to give privacy to the patient. We will be with you very soon.”

Your mother was extremely dissatisfied but maybe this one time, you were the one who was more unhappy than her. The last thing you wanted was to stay and have Baekhyun examine you. In fact, you didn't want him to do anything with this. He wasn't supposed to be a part of this nonsense.

You waited until your mother left and doctor Kim was accompanying Baekhyun who now took charge. He motioned to the other chair in the corner right next to the trays with tubes and injections.

“Please sit down over there. Relax and stretch your arm for me,” he said to you softly, already going and putting on gloves and preparing the injection and gauze with confidence. For me. You did as you were told, and breathily, you looked up at your boyfriend - ex boyfriend, and couldn't help but hold your breath at how handsome he was. He still had a tan though his body looked a little thin, more defined.

“Baekhyun, I will need to drop these documents off at the reception. I'll be back in a minute and then we can continue with the ultrasound,” chirped in doctor Kim as if she didn't just completely smash the smallest of resistances you had until then.

“Alright, doctor Kim,” rumbled Baekhyun and stepped to you when the doors to the office closed, encasting the both of you in silence.

Baekhyun prepared the tampon soaked with alcohol and leaned in, holding your arm in his free hand while running the inside of your elbow with the tampon. Swiftly putting it away, he grabbed the injection and looked up at you to catch you staring at him.

The world stopped spinning for the slightest of moments, your gazes locked, the touch of his fingertips on your arm burning. He opened his mouth but it took him a moment to finally say: “This might sting a little bit.” And with that, he looked down, carefully proceeding with drawing your blood.

“Don't you have nurses to do this for you?” you found the voice to ask, though you didn't dare to move even an inch.

“We do,” was his simple answer, his focus still on your arm.

You didn't look, for the colour of your blood could make you faint and Baekhyun's presence was already a burden. Pressing your lips together, you thought about what to say, what to ask or what to tell him. You won a golden chance since you probably wouldn't ever score a private moment with him like this without it being behind someone's back.

“How-” you started gently, deciding to just look at his soft eyes and his forehead that was exposed. “How have you been?”

Baekhyun ran his tongue over his lips before murmuring: “I've been better, thanks.”

Slightly, you nodded, his lack of communication hurting you. “That's good.”

He hummed, not replying.

“Actually-”

He brought the injection out, skillfully closing the lid and stepping away from you. He was fast to press a tampon to the tiny pinch of blood and told you to hold it there. “The results should be out tomorrow. You can call in, there is no need to come.”

Your nose prickled when he didn't look at you, still busy with sorting the tube holder. “Alright.”

“Doctor Kim is not here yet, so let's wait for her and then complete the examination,” he said, finally looking at you. When he saw your teary eyes, he asked: “Are you feeling sick?”

You shook your head and looked down on the ground.

“Dizzy?”

“I’m fine.”

“Let me give you some water, just in case,” he muttered and rushed to grab a paper cup, pouring some cold water in it before handing it to you. You accepted it with a shaky hand, almost spilling the content just when his hand came to cover yours, steading the cup.

Electricity shot down your spine at the contact and you looked at him again to catch him clenching his jaw. “Baekhyun-”

“You lost a lot of weight,” he stated and let his hand drop. Disappointment washed over you and you pursed your lips. “That won't be a big help with getting pregnant you know.”

His deep voice was causing goosebumps on the back of your neck. “As if I am actually trying to get pregnant. Do me a favor and tell my mother I'm not fertile.”

The sudden sarcasm caught Baekhyun off guard. “Careful with what you're wishing for. You'd be surprised how many women are infertile. Even the healthiest ones aren't able to conceive,” he told you, muttering your name gently at the end. “I'm sure you're healthy but… you do need to gain some weight. This isn't how…” he trailed off, frowning on the ground.

You looked up at him, taking a quick sip of water and then putting down the cup on the tray next to you. “This isn't how what?”

“How I know you. How you should look.”

“Try to live my life, then you'd understand.”

“Oh trust me, I know,” he exclaimed with an eye roll. That action made you stand up, facing him.

“Of course you do,” you spat, “but now it isn’t any of your concern, right? You've got yourself a senior colleague who is also your girlfriend. Stepping past our relationship wasn't even so difficult, doctor Byun.”

“What are you talking about?” he whispered, frantically searching your gaze. “My girlfriend? Doctor Kim?” he laughed humorlessly and brought his hands to his hips. “You thought she was my partner? Are you crazy?”

“Then why were you acting like a couple that day in the park?” you asked louder ignoring his last question. “You were laughing and so-- happy.”

Baekhyun observed you for a moment, his eyes flickering about your features as if trying to memorize you over again. “We have a very good senior-junior relationship. She is the age of your husband and far from being my girlfriend.” When you didn't respond, instead stared at him, he added: “I haven't been with anyone since you… left.”

Feeling the change in the air, you sighed and looked down at his hand. Biting your lip, you slowly reached out, brushing your hands, trying to see if he would reciprocate. Hooking your index finger with his you looked up to see him carefully watching you. Still keeping your gaze, he threaded his fingers with yours, giving you a gentle tug and bringing you to him. You stepped closer and his eyes dropped to your lips that were now parted. His breathing came out in gentle puffs when you zoomed in on those lush lips that were practically begging to be kissed by you. Only you. You felt Baekhyun squeezing your hand and his other hand came up to cup your face gently, his eyes constantly flickering between your eyes and lips. His warm hand finally cradled your face and you leaned into the touch having missed it so much. His thumb went out and traced your lower lip, gently pulling on it.

He took a breath to whisper: “You need to take care of yourself. Don't let him ruin you.”

His face was so close now you could practically feel his breath on your mouth. You dared to make the first step and stood on your tiptoes, chasing his lips. To your surprise, he leaned back a bit, your lips stopping mid-air as you looked at him in question.

“I don't think-” he pressed his forehead to yours in an apology, “it's a good idea,” he breathed but he was affected by you, you could tell.

“Just a peck.” You moved again, but he turned his face away now, though still making sure your foreheads were connected. He called your name gently, his thumb swiping under your eye when he looked back into your hurt ones.

“I'd love to, but I will lose all the self-control I have left,” he whispered urgently, not wanting you to take it to heart. He would never deny you a kiss. Never. “It's already been challenging ever since I stepped into the office.”

You closed your eyes and pressed your lips together as if trying to make up for the touch you didn't receive from him. “I know. I'm sorry.”

“No,” he hushed in a whisper. “There is nothing to apologize for,” he breathed, and made the mistake to nudge your nose with his. Snapping your eyes open you let out:

“I can't stand being with you in the same room but not being with you at the same time, Baekhyun,” you said in a low tone, scared to make any louder noises in case the walls had ears. “I can't stand you questioning me about my private stuff when it's you who knows everything about me. It should be you who is here with me because we want to start a family, it should be you who is putting a ring on my finger, it all should be you,” you added, tears welling up in your eyes when the caressing of his thumb didn't stop.

“Shh, baby, don't cry. I know, I know, shh,” he hushed, and brought your head to his chest, encasting you in his embrace. “Baby,” he breathed again when he felt you squeezing his white coat.

“I love you,” you muttered, swallowing your hiccups. Gently leaning back, his hand slid down to the side of your neck sending shivers down your back.

Baekhyun clenched his jaw and with one last glance to your lips, he murmured: “I love you, too. I never stopped.”

More tears welled up when you heard approaching steps from outside. The dread of having to let him go made you let out another set of hot tears but there was no time. “I'm sorry, Baek. For whatever I'm about to say. It's for the best for both of us.”

He frowned and was about to say something when he quickly stepped away from you and the doors opened, doctor Kim arriving.

You quickly patted the palms of your hands on your cheeks, hoping your make-up wasn't too ruined. You desperately wished for more time with Baekhyun, wanting to talk to him longer, having too much on your heart but this was all you would get.

“Are you done with the blood withdrawal?” chirped again doctor Kim, bringing in a small breeze as she passed by you, not noticing the tension between you and Baekhyun. “Let's proceed with the ultrasound, Baekhyun.” She finally looked at you, meanwhile Baekhyun went to prepare the machine. “Oh, dear, are you okay?”

“She just got a little sick during the withdrawal,” informed Baekhyun nonchalantly, which only made you want to weep more. He seemed to go back to being normal so easily while you felt like a broken machine, not able to function without its provider.

Weakly, you nodded and managed to stretch your lips into a dishonest smile. “I'm all good. But I'm afraid I'm going to want to request you, doctor Kim, for the rest of the examinations. I do not want a beginner to do the job.”

Baekhyun shot you a look from behind doctor Kim but you stared at the elder woman who looked surprised.

“Did something happen? Maybe the injecting wasn't comfortable?” tried doctor Kim. “Doctor Byun is a very knowledgeable young doctor with lots of potential. This is the only way he can learn to do the job properly.”

“Well, I do not consider myself a lab rat to be learned on by a young doctor,” you said, mustering up all the hatred you had inside; hatred you had for the situation you were in, hatred for your family and what had become of you. None of it was about Baekhyun, yet you put all the hatred into him. “After all, I am the wife of the owner, aren't I? I do not wish to be examined by doctor Byun.”

Doctor Kim fidgeted with her fingers, her gaze a little wavered as she tried to come up with a proper reply. She obviously wasn't expecting you to act this way and definitely not use your power. “Alright, of course, Mrs Kwon. Doctor Byun will watch and I will proceed with the-”

“No,” you interrupted, not smiling. You sensed Baekhyun shifting on his feet in your peripheral vision but you spared him no glance. “Let me rephrase. I do not wish for doctor Byun's presence while I am in this clinic at all.”

//

It took another half a year for you to be pregnant. It was long enough time to make peace with the fact that you had to become intimate with your husband. You tried to learn a lot about him, tried to understand the way he behaved and reasons behind the decisions he made.

The morning after you did it, he was already out for work and you were feeling just slightly empty and lonely. Gone were the feelings of joy, contentment, love and pleasant tiredness every time Baekhyun and you made love. But you did something that you probably shouldn't have. If no one knew about it, it wouldn't cause any harm, right? Something like thinking of him while you had sex with your husband. Imagining it was Baekhyun the whole time, despite the touches and caresses your body was receiving were not like Baekhyun’s at all. It was worth the fight if it meant gaining also the pleasure of sex. Why would it be just your husband when you deserved to get your release as well?

Every day, you made sure to tell Minheob that you were not the woman he wanted you to submit into. You would not be only at home, waiting for him to come home (not like you actually would be waiting) and not to do anything besides cooking and laundry. Your house had maids and cooks for a reason. He allowed you to do your business with lingerie and you had been over the moon. It was another reason why you submitted to him in bed. Hopefully, he wouldn't take at least that away from you.

Although, recently he had become extremely protective and suspicious of you, exactly because of your boutique. You were always there or you were always tending to your baby girl, Hayeon which meant you became busy and very much unavailable to him. It led him to try to mark you again in case another man would make a move on you. After having Hayeon, you barely had the time to take a breather before you were pregnant again with the second one. You were in the first trimester already. 

Visits to the clinic were always painful because you were scared of meeting him. Until then you were successful in avoiding him, although there were the small moments when he passed by on the other side of the corridor not even noticing you. It made you wonder whether he already found someone else and was happy with her. You wanted him to be happy, but you were still very selfish. The idea of him being with another woman was making you sick to your stomach.

Just like right now. A bile rose in your throat and nausea took over, your gag reflex kicking in. You were fast to cover your mouth but you received worried gazes from your workers. You were in your shop, sorting out the new designs that just arrived when you suddenly became crazily sick.

“Oh, give me a moment,” you muttered, rushing out to the toilets barely making it into the stall before throwing up. Did you eat something bad?

Once you were done, you tried to scramble up to your feet and go to wash up. Just as you were splashing your face with cold water, it came back again. Another strong wave of nausea hit you and you ended up vomiting every possible small thing your body had yet to digest.

Your brain was dizzy and you decided to take a little break, just sitting by the toilet and breathing yourself through the internal turmoil. However, as you were recovering, you felt it. Besides the sickness coming back, there was something very wet down there and quite a painful pull in your lower abdomen close to the contractions you had when giving birth.

“Shit, did I pee myself or something,” you muttered, frowning as you spread your legs a bit. You didn't see anything through your jeans and there wasn't time either for you were heaving yet again, throwing up close to nothing.

Your ears becoming sensitive, you heard rushed steps from far before your assistant appeared in the toilets. She knocked on the stall, calling your name. “Oh god, are you okay?”

She waited patiently for you to end another round when you managed to gasp for air. “I'm not feeling well,” you admitted, panting. Sweat was breaking up all over your face and you could practically feel the blood draining from your face.

“Let's go to the clinic.”

“No, I'll be fine-”

“May I open the door?”

You hummed, eyes closed as you were pressed against the side of the stall. You were fast to snap them open when you heard a sharp gasp and you looked up at your assistant who was gaping at something on the floor. She called your name carefully.

“You're bleeding.”

Tiredly, you tried focusing where she was looking and another wave of sickness came. You were, indeed, bleeding, a small puddle slowly growing around your middle. That could only mean one thing.

“The baby,” your assistant exclaimed in panic and went to hold your hair when you started to throw up. “I'll call the ambulance. We can't even take a taxi, you'd bleed all over the place.”

There was no time to protest.

//

Everything afterwards became a huge blur. They couldn't calm down your vomiting even in the ambulance as you were constantly triggered while feeling like death. Your jeans were plastered to your skin, the blood smudging everything you sat on.

Since you were in a bad state, they took you to the doctor immediately. To your utter misfortune, it was Byun Baekhyun's shift that day. He was called out from tending to one patient and when he was told your name, he practically sprinted out of the office.

It was a miscarriage.

“It's not usual to have such strong reactions like vomiting,” he told your assistant and then looked at you, lying down, white and pale and just about to pass out. The nurses already changed you into hospital clothes and cleaned you thankfully so you looked at least decent in front of him. “We will proceed with the necessary treatment.”

“Will she be okay?” asked your assistant carefully.

“I'll be just… fine,” you managed to mutter, eyes closed.

Baekhyun smiled, though he still had worry etched into his handsome features. “You heard you boss. She will be fine. The bleeding thankfully stopped. She did lose too much but nothing to worry about. You may go and wait outside.”

She nodded quickly and gave your hand a final squeeze before leaving the room.

Baekhyun sighed, letting the silence linger for a few moments. Gently, he pressed his palm to your forehead. “No fever, that's good.”

You hummed and opened your eyes, tiredly focusing on the handsome male in front of you.

“Did something happen?” he asked quietly, carefully observing your features. “Anything that could have triggered your miscarriage? You were almost at the end of the first trimester. The loss is harsher.”

“No, it happened suddenly. I just felt sick and couldn't stop throwing up,” you muttered, your voice hoarse.

Baekhyun was fast to give you water and helped you gulp down a few sips. “I will do a simple procedure,” he informed you while putting the paper cup down on the small table next to the bed. “I will remove the pregnancy tissue with suction and then I want you to stay in the hospital for two days.”

“It isn't that serious,” you retorted. “I can go home afterwards. I have a baby at home, you know.” Being already a mother, you knew almost everything there was to know about pregnancies, miscarriages and various procedures. In spite of miscarriages being terrible, they rarely required you to stay in the hospital.

“No, I'm the doctor and I want you to stay here for observation. You lost too much blood. Do you even have any idea how dangerous your situation was? What if your assistant didn't find you?” Baekhyun muttered in slight scolding, frowning. He was obviously very worried for you.

Maybe you were becoming really tired when you muttered, ignoring his words: “You know, you stating that you're a doctor is so hot.”

Baekhyun couldn't help himself, he burst out into laughter. “It's a good sign that you didn't lose your humor. I take it you're fine.”

You smiled. “Then I can go home.”

His smile slowly disappeared. “No. You can't go home until I say so. I'm sure someone can take care of your baby while you're not there. Don't you have a babysitter?” He stood up now and went to prepare the necessary machine which was what made you slightly nervous. Until then, you made sure he wouldn't even watch other doctors doing procedures on you. You didn't want to open your legs for him, not like this.

“Can someone else do it?” you asked breathily as nerves kicked in while completely ignoring his question. “I don't want you to do this.”

Baekhyun stopped when he rolled over the machine, throwing you a worried glance. “You don't trust me, do you?”

“I'm ashamed,” you whispered, turning your head sideways so he wouldn't see you.

You heard him sigh and then he walked over and crouched down, looking up at your face. “We have only a doctor-patient relationship. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Just pretend I'm doctor Kim.”

Doctor-patient relationship only.

Right. Sneakily, you stole a glance at his hands, checking for any ring. None.

“I'll be fast. You won't even know I did something down there, hm?” he said gently and stood up.

You closed your eyes and decided to go with it. You were too tired and drained to argue with him and Baekhyun seemed to be very adamant anyway. 

“You don't even look that affected about the miscarriage,” he noted as he gently placed your legs on the stirrups and you tried not to react too obviously to his soft touches. Your breathing grew a little frantic despite your efforts.

Not answering was the best option. He didn't need to know your real feelings.

Baekhyun wasn't catching up though. “Didn't you want the child?”

“I don't know,” you muttered eventually, opening your eyes to look at the ceiling.

“Fair enough,” he muttered back. “I'll give you local anesthesia, don't get startled. After this, we will be done fast. Promise.”

That one last word was what made you completely melt. Of course, just as he promised, you were done with everything quickly and Baekhyun stood in front of you with a gentle smile. “We’re done now. How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

He sighed and wanted to reach out for your face but held himself back. “A nurse will come and plug you on an IV. You need to rest, so make sure not to move much about. If you need to use the restrooms, call the nurse. Do not go alone, understood?”

You stared at him. Being almost thirty looked so good on him. A grown man, with a broad chest and kind heart. A rare mix. “I understand.” You paused, fidgeting with your fingers. “Will you be here? Through the night?”

He nodded once. “I've got a night shift. I'll stop by to check-” he stopped himself. “Uh, anyway, rest up. Your body is going through a lot right now. Call the nurse for anything.”

Before he could leave, you called out to him, effectively stopping him from walking out. “Thank you,” you whispered with longing in your eyes. “For everything.”

//

It was 11pm when you stirred awake to a ruckus in the corridor. Unable to make out what was being said - or more like shouted - you strained your ears but you didn't have to. Thundering footsteps were coming right your way and without giving you time to prepare, the door was smashed open, your furious husband appearing in the doorway.

“You lost the fucking child?” he hissed, rushing over to your bed which woke you up right away. Gasping, you tried to sit up but you were very uncomfortable and still tied to an IV. “Look at me! What the hell did you do to lose the child? Are you out of your damn mind?!” he kept shouting.

At his words, your nose prickled. “I did! Is it you going through the aftermath? No. Leave, Minheob. I want to rest.”

He let out a humorless chuckle. “You aren't telling me what to do. And you will be resting at home. You don't need to be here!”

“I was told to stay!” you let out loudly. “And stop making such a fuss! Everyone will know,” you added in a hiss, not wanting the entire Gangnam to gossip about your private life.

“Yeah, everyone will know that my fucking wife can’t even keep the kid inside.”

“And who put the kid in me, huh?!” you said, tears spilling over your cheeks. “Leave! I don't want to see you right now! Get out!” Impatiently, you looked behind his back. Where were the nurses? Of course no one would go against him; he was the damn owner of the whole building and clinic. Why would anyone bother to intervene? Unfortunately, you were quickly becoming dizzy from the abrupt adrenaline rush and needed to lie down.

“No! You will come with me right NOW, this instant!” shouted your husband when he saw you resting your head, dragging you out of your hospital bed, while you were still connected to the IV, your body screaming in pain and tiredness at every jerk you received. You just wanted to rest and not see your husband, preferably ever again. You felt tears prickle at the corner of your eyes again.

“Please, just stop, ” you whispered, too tired to let out a voice, your throat hoarse.

Just then the nurses rushed into your room, trying to separate your aggressive husband from your weak body that was being dragged out of the safe confines of the hospital bed.

“Sir, you cannot do this! The patient needs to rest, please leave immediately or we will call the police! ” tried to reason one of them, her face horrified as she was trying to catch you from falling out of bed.

“No, she doesn’t need any of this! She is completely fine, just pretending to be sick. She is coming with me!”

By then you were crying, scared and just about ready to kill the man in front of you.

“Sir, you need to leave immediately,” said the other nurse that was holding back your husband but with carefulness.

“Call for Dr Byun. Now! ” shouted the third one standing by the doors.

Just hearing his last name made you cry harder. In your brain, you didn’t want him to see this mess, you didn’t want him to see you at all. But your heart was screaming for help, for safety of his arms…

You didn’t know how long it took, how much screaming happened by the time you heard an authoritative voice roar: “Just what the hell is happening here!”

Your husband froze momentarily, turning to look at Baekhyun who was taking in the situation in front of him: your arm now severely swollen because the IV kept being maneuvered in your vein, your husband having a strong hold of that same arm, your crying, puffy face and swollen eyes that connected with his… Please.

“The patient is just after miscarriage and needs to rest!” spoke Baekhyun, a menacing undertone in his voice palpable. “Leave this instant!”

“I am not leaving without my wife,” spat your husband.

Baekhyun was holding himself back and it was painful. Physically painful. He couldn’t keep looking. “Call the security and call the police as well,” he murmured as he was rolling up the sleeves of his white coat and shirt underneath.

Just when you were about to process what was happening, the strong grip on your arm loosened until the touch was completely gone, your husband stumbling backwards, holding his cheek.

“Dr Byun,” weeped one of the nurses, holding her mouth with her small hands, completely shocked at the unexpected action.

Baekhyun was gritting his teeth, sending daggers at Minheob. “She almost lost her life,” he roared again, trying to control his feelings, because the slightest idea of him losing you was sending him into an emotional wreck. “Your child has not survived, so you should be thankful we managed to save your wife! And now, leave immediately!”

“I am coming back for her later," whispered your husband threateningly, pointing his index finger at you. "She is not staying here without my supervision.” He gave you one dangerous look before storming out of your room.

Your head was spinning, the adrenaline rushing too fast for your poor heart to catch up. Feeling yourself going completely limp, you let go, the nurse’s secure hold quickly exchanged with a pair of strong arms you just wished for a few minutes ago. The familiar scent overtook your heightened senses instantly calming you down.

Hearing Baekhyun cursing before giving out rushed orders, you finally heard the words you wanted to hear from the pair of lips you adored so much. “Shh, I’m here. I won’t let anything happen to you anymore.”

You slowly nuzzled your nose into his chest, his coat growing wet with your tears. You whimpered when the dizziness wouldn’t subside, while trying to inhale Baekhyun’s entire existence. 

“Baby,” he whispered, gently running his hand up and down your back. “You're fine. He isn't coming back anymore. I won't let him.”

“I'm not feeling well,” you murmured, eyes scrunched close. “Please, make this stop.”

“We are giving you something to calm you down, just bear with them, sweetheart,” he spoke to you softly before shouting: “Where is the nurse? Bring the medicine this instant!”

Even in that moment you could feel your broken heart swell with love for him.

The nurses were trying not to give curious, questioning gazes to the sight in front of them, instead following Baekhyun's orders before he would lose his cool. He rarely ever as much as scowled at his co-workers. But it seemed that anything to do with you would set the hidden tiger in Baekhyun afree.

“How will I survive this?” he heard you mutter and scooted yourself even closer to him. “Just…” you swallowed harshly, “how will I get through this without you Baekhyun?”

// // // // // // //

A/N: We have one more chapter to go! Thank you so much for reading! 💕

Please let me know what you thought? :))

CuriousCat

#baekhyun fanfication #exo fanfiction #baekhyun fic #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun au #baekhyun #baekhyun doctor au #MWM #mywritings

[waezi2]

Re-reading Yu-Gi-Oh (part 1)

So... I bitch a lot about Yu-Gi-Oh. When I don’t complain about it online and accuse it of scamming kid me, I ridicule the story and the many holes in the game rules.

But I actually used to love this manga with a burning passion. I bought it because I was fixated with the cards, but instead I got traumatized. In an awesome way.

So I decided to re-read the manga about the possibly best known TCG game in the world and see how it started, how it evolved, and if the story still holds up.

So, I’m reading chapter 1, and we have to talk about the art.

The art style at the beginning was chunky and sometimes downright awkward. But it was still very enjoyable. The characters were very expressive and the tone of the style could swing quickly from wacky and rubberhose like to eerie and brooding depending on the situation. It makes you forgive odd-looking legs and hands that becomes massive. It is clear that it is someone’s first project.

So, this is Yugi. Possibly the cutest and meekest punk kid who ever lived. Yugi is not an outdoor person, so he spends most of his recesses inside the classroom. He brings a ton of games to school, hoping that someone might wanna play with him, but all of his classmates prefer to go outside and do stuff like basketball. And being a short teenager who practically looks like a little boy means he is not a desirable team mate in any ball game.

This is totally just a theory, but I think Yugi’s signature punk hairstyle is his way of trying to look a bit more edgy to try do something about his cute appearance.

... Yeah, it’s not working. He still looks like a fricking Gummibear.

As Yugi is minding his own business, we meet two familiar faces.

... their names are actually Jounouchi and and Honda, but most people know them by their American names, so I will just refer to them as Joey and Tristan. 

It’s so odd to see their old designs. Especially Joey since his hair is not as big and square like as it is today. And what the fuck is up with Tristan’s face?!

Anyways, while Yugi decides to play with the most valuable game in his collection, Joey and Tristan decides to mess with him. They make an interesting bully duo where Tristan is more loud and is clearly having more fun bothering Yugi who is too short to put up a fight while Joey seems more stoic and is almost annoyed by Yugi for being a pushover. He even tells Yugi to be a man about it and at least try and take the game back from him by force. So while Tristian just enjoys picking on Yugi for the heck of it, Joey seems to sincerely dislike Yugi.

Luckily, Yugi doesn’t have trouble with bullies as such since he is friends with Tea who is so tough that she actually intimidate Joey and Tristan with sheer attitude. That’s actually impressive.

... A shame she is most of the time just the damsel in distress.

Tea is the only person in class who hangs out with Yugi since they have been friends since kindergarten. And she doesn’t mind staying inside at all since a ton of the guys are jerks who only wanna play basketball with the girls since it gives them an opportunity to look up their skirts.

Yeah, there is a lot of that in this manga. Most of the males in this series are kinda horny. the humor often relies on it, which downright creepy at times.

Even Yugi finds basketball more appealing now that he knows about the skirt-looking.

Lewd panty-shot aside, I think it is a nice detail that Yugi is as pathetic as the rest of the dudes in school, he probably just doesn’t have the courage to try get a look. It makes him less of a pure hero.

Altight, let’s stop talking about Yugi being a closet creep:/

Yugi shows Tea what his greatest treasure is: A LITTERAL treasure.

Yep, this is the famous Millennium Puzzle, practically the mascot of the series. It’s an ancient puzzle found in an pyramid that Yugi got from his grandfather who runs a game store. The puzzle is extremely valuable, both because it is from ancient Egypt and it is made of gold.

... And Yugi brings it to school where Tristan and Joey pushes him around...

Yugi has been struggling with the puzzle for eight years despite being a game nerd. Even though it is a blow to his not that big ego, he keeps trying to solve it since the box says that if he will be granted a wish if he manage to solve the puzzle.

Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan makes the fatal mistake of talking about picking on Yugi while Ushio is close enough to hear it. He is the school’s hall monitor and rumor has it that he is downright psychotic and is feared by most of the students. Heck, some of the teachers are uncomfortable being near him.

And this guy has decided to become Yugi’s bodyguard, something poor Yugi doesn’t take serious when Ushio tells him that.

Joey and Tristan are unaware how screwed they are as they keep having their fun bothering Yugi without our hero knowing it. Joey managed to steal a piece from the puzzle box before Tea interrupted, and Joey decides to throw the piece in the school’s swimming pool so that the puzzle becomes worthless as it can no longer be solved. I gotta say, that is pretty twisted and surprisingly sneaky of a teen bully. It’s downright creepy.

Speaking of creepy...

This is Yugi’s grandfather Sugoroku. He runs the game shop that Yugi lives in and is a living encyclopedia when it comes to games of all sorts.

And he can’t just tell Tea that she has grown. He HAS to mention her breasts as well. Da fuck is up with all the sex talk and panty shots in this series?! Does Kazuki Takahashi(the author) have some sort of issues?!

Yugi’s grandfather notices that Yugi is STILL trying to solve the ancient puzzle and warns Yugi that the puzzle is supposedly cursed. That the archeologist and his team died mysteriously shortly after finding the puzzle and the last one to kick the bucket said something about a “shadow game” with his dying breath.

That however makes Yugi even more determent to solve the puzzle. If it really is magical then chances are that he will be granted a wish by completing the puzzle.

Personally, I would call the nearest museum and sell the dang thing before it could kill me with it’s insane cursed magic.

Speaking of insane, Yugi realizes that he should have taken Ushio serious when he said he would be his bodyguard.

Yep, the SOB has dragged Joey and Tristan behind the school building and kicked their asses through and through. Tristan is in so much pain that he is barely conscious and Joey is so pummeled that all he can do is watch as Yugi shows how surprisingly brave he is as he demands that Ushio leaves them alone, even refer to them as his friends and that they were just trying to make him a man.

Yeah, picking on someone because they are too timid and demanding that they fight you despite knowing that they hat violence is the right way to make someone a man. Hip hooray for toxic masculinity!

Yugi defending Joey and Tristan results in him getting a beating as well.

One of the interesting things about early Yu-Gi-Oh is the raw and ugly violence. We talking dirty violence where people get kneed in the chest and kicked while they lie down. Not just off-screen, we witness our heroes be pummeled, making the series a bit more gritty and frightening. And this series is not for those with a weak stomach.

Joey is stunned, partly because Yugi defends him, but way more of the short spiky-haired kid’s courage. But Yugi is anything but afraid. After all, he refused to fight Joey, but he still tried to get the puzzle back(not successfully, but he made an effort instead of just squirming).

After Ushio finished kicking poor Yugi’s ass, he tells him to bring him money as “payment” for his “bodyguard service.” And we talking 200000 yen, that’s a lot of dough.

Ushio even pulls a god damn knife(!), just to show how fucking crazy he is!

Yugi goes home to see if he has money enough to pay Ushio, but he only has 1656 yen. In frustration, Yugi decides to solve his unsolvable puzzle, just to think of something else than the brute with a knife who is waiting for him at school.

But what do you know? Yugi finally get the hang of it. He sees that some of the pieces just needs to be rotated differently and he finish it in a couple of minutes.

... Or he WOULD have. He finally sees that one of the pieces are missing, breaking his heart and making his awful day even worse.

But Grandpa has the last piece. He tells Yugi that one of his friends from school had found it and asked him to give it to Yugi. And that he was soaked despite it not raining.

As Yugi is happy about being able to finish the puzzle and returns to his room, his grandpa thinks about that the boy was Joey and that he asked him not to tell Yugi it was him that came with the puzzle piece. Joey also told him about Ushio blackmailing Yugi, so Grandpa secretly puts money in Yugi’s schoolbag so he won’t get in trouble.

And this is where it get’s freaky.

Yep, here it is. the iconic moment Yugi gets blessed by the puzzle so that he can turn into the split personality we refer to as Yami which is Japanese for “Dark”.

Yugi then calls Ushio and tells him to meet him outside school at midnight.

Ushio is surprised as he sees that Yugi is wearing some sort of costume and that he looks way more cocky than before.

Yugi tells Ushio that he has the money he demands, but he has twice the amount. Fricking 400000 yen!

But Yugi only “owes” 200000 to Ushio, so he suggest that they play about them in a dark and twisted game.

Yugi and Ushio take turns stabbing the stack of money placed on their hand. They have to stab hard enough to take more than one single bill. The winner is the guy with most yen bills.

As they play, Ushio seems to be winning... but when it is his turn, he can feel that his hand is way too eager to stab.

This is not just a weird-ass game. This is a “shadow game”, a game that shows your true nature. Ushio’s greed is now collected in his hand, and he so desperately want to win the game that he can’t control it. He realizes that if he stabs, he won’t be able to control his strength and he will penetrate his own hand. Ushio has to either A) give up and keep his hand or B) win the game with one hand less.

Ushio picks C.

Ushio tries to kill Yugi, but that was a mistake. The puzzle has made him super human and he leaps from the ground, evading the knife.

And cheating in a shadow game is a big no-go as the host of the game has authority to punish you.

Yami Yugi curses Ushio with “Illusion of Greed”, meaning he will be doomed to live in an imaginary world where he sees nothing but money everywhere.

Next morning, he is still outside the schoolyard like a drooling idiot who yells about all of his imaginary money.

Yugi has no memory of what happened but is glad he no longer has to be worried of Ushio who is a harmless nutcase. Not only that, he has finally finished his puzzle... and Joey offers him his friendship.

And that was the start of the horror manga turned card game commercial. It has a lot of charm, is very eerie and I think I prefer Yami Yugi’s first look that is more child like. making him look downright creepy.

This retrospective will continue ASAP.

Till then, I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

#Yu-Gi-Oh #yugioh #yugi moto #joey wheeler #katsuya jonouchi #honda hitomi #anzu mazaki #tea gardner #tristan taylor #yami yugi #atem #manga

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 7

****** 

You’d stepped outside of being professional. Childishly you began to avoid Natasha, not that it was hard since she was avoiding you as well.

She hadn’t been to a session in two weeks and you hadn’t said anything to her about it. 

All because you’re crushing on her.

Which you really can’t understand. 

What had happened between you two for you to develop these feelings? It couldn’t be your sessions. If that were the case you’d have feelings for the whole damn team. Stronger ones at that because the woman was the furthest from opening up to you. 

On the third Friday as you’re sitting in your office working you realize how hypocritical your actions are.

Your whole time here you’ve been telling everyone to address their feelings. Telling them that letting their emotions in was the first step to coping with them. And here you are blatantly ignoring your feelings and not coping at all.

Taking a page from your own book, you pull out an empty notebook and start writing it down. Everything you can think that brought on your feelings for the woman, minus the fact that she’s drop dead gorgeous. 

By the time your page is full, even the little space outside the red margin, you don’t see how you ignored it.

It’d taken you merely a few weeks to start falling for this woman. Her loyalty, her stubbornness, her intelligence, her sass, her confidence, the way she challenges you, her dry sometimes missable humor, that damn smirk, and those green eyes. 

Even scarier, is looking at the page and realizing that she hadn’t even fully opened up to you. If you’ve already started falling for her over this, obviously, little bit of who she is, you’re for sure to be a goner if you ever learn everything about her. 

Groaning, you slouch down in your chair, the force of your fall pushing the wheels back a little. 

Suddenly you feel the brush of, what feels like, silk across your calf. It’s warm, and despite it’s firmness, it seems to mold around your leg. 

You jump back a little, eyes snapping down to the shadow underneath your desk.

Before you can fully panic though, it moves into the light of your office. Tiny brown eyes stare back into your e/c ones and the small black cat cautiously brushes against your leg again.

Confused as to where it came from, but still finding it adorable, you reach down and run your hand over it’s back. You feel the purr coming from the feline before it actually sounds and the second it does, you relax a little. 

“Where did you come from cutie?” 

It’s head tilts at your question and you nod. 

You pick the little thing up and stand, going in search for where it could’ve come from. Honestly you wouldn’t be surprised if it managed to sneak in here. The team could spot an enemy from yards away but definitely not have noticed the presence of this little cutie.

They hadn’t noticed Goose until the day Carol left. Shocked and confused expressions passed when she picked the cat up. So yeah, this one could’ve easily slipped pass them.

Surprisingly, the source of his presence, makes itself known about halfway down the hall. 

The red head you’d been avidly dodging rounds the corner, a small red collar between her fingers, and a determined look on her face.

A grey cardigan flows out by her legs, opened wide enough for you to see the black stretch pants and green crop top she’s paired with it. 

You hadn’t added ‘Abs’ to the list but you should have.

“Missing something?” You teasingly ask, just barely holding up the black cat in your arms. 

Natasha’s brows raise ever so slightly, the only sign of relief you get. She approaches, collar now gripped in her hands as she keeps her gaze trained on the animal. 

“He snuck into my office, scared me half to death.” You tell her.

“It’s a she. Her name’s Liho.” She speaks and god you hadn’t realized you’d missed her voice. 

You nod, and hold her out to Natasha. The red head takes her, careful not to let your fingers brush under the cat’s belly. 

Biting your lip, you let your eyes wander over everything in the hallway but her. Missing when she finally looks at you, eyes racking over your form, lingering on your face. 

The silence is awkward. While before it had been a little tense but mainly empty. 

You hate it. 

Natasha is just about to turn on her heel and leave when you sigh.

“Can we talk?” God it sounds like you’re about to break up with her. Like something bad had gone down in your relationship when in reality there had barely been one to begin with. 

Her green eyes move to you, looking at your nose instead of your eyes.

“In my office, please?” Begging, nice. 

Silence. 

Just before you can mumble out a never mind, she nods. 

You smile, only a little, and nod. Turning around to head back to where you came from, this time accompanied by the source of your anxiousness and her new feline friend. 

Once in the room, you shut the door, and settle yourself on the edge of the couch. Whether this is a long talk or not you figure it be best you not stand.

Like she use to, Natasha opts out of sitting, instead walking around your office. She’s canvased the room some many times you aren’t even what she could possibly have to really look at anymore.

But she finds something.

“Reasons why I like her?” She’s reading the statement right off the page but her tone is questioning.

She’s unsure what it is but you know. It’s why you internally panic. 

Is it physically possible for your heart to drop? If a doctor checked your body now would they actually find your heart in your stomach? Because it feels like they would. 

Natasha stands over your desk, fingers brushing the inked pages, Liho in her other hand looking on as if she can read it too. 

“Wit. Green eyes. Stubbornness,” she keeps reading,“ gorgeous red hair. That damn smirk.” 

You’re frozen. Like, giving Cap a run for his money, frozen. 

All you had to do was close it. Maybe put it in one of the many fingerprint locked filing cabinets, hell even a drawer. But no. 

“Are these about me?” She looks from the paper to you, green eyes as intimidating as you’d ever seen them.

There has to be a god at play here. Maybe Hera, the goddess of love setting this up knowing something you don’t. Or Loki, the god of mischief playing at what would soon be a good laugh. 

Natasha abandons the notebook, rounding your desk to step just a little closer to you,“ Y/N?” 

“You weren’t supposed to see that. I wasn’t supposed to see that.” You stand, taking barely a step towards her,“ I shouldn’t have written it but I didn’t know how else to make sense of what I’m feeling and I’m sorry.” 

All over the place, good job. 

Her head raises a little. Not to look down on you but to still herself.“ What are you feeling?” 

“Isn’t that my line?” 

She cracks a smile at your little joke, but those eyes retain the question. 

You sigh,“ if I could explain it the right way I would but, I guess, I think I like you. Which is insane cause it’s not like we actually know each other. It’s not like we’ve spent that kind of time together. Still, here I am, thinking and rethinking and making lists.”

Pushing yourself to stand up, you walk over to your desk. Fingers brush over the words on the paper. You now notice that you wrote so hard it bled through to the other pages. 

“I’m sorry if my honesty is scary. It terrifies me. We barely know each other and here I am saying I like you.” 

Her eyebrow quirks at that. 

“Do you really believe we don’t know each other?” She turns to face you,“ I know I misjudged you but I think I have a good idea of who you are.”

You watch her, suppressing the urge to laugh when she lets Liho down on your desk, the cat walking over to you and pressing itself into your stomach. 

And Natasha watches you.

Is she really about to give in, again? Admit her feelings for you just like that.

You notice her eyes had drifted from yours and you search them for the reason why. When she’d spoken before it was with pure confidence and now her eyes hold insecurities. 

Whatever she’s thinking has made her unsure of what she had meant to say. And makes you all the more curious.

Her thoughts continue to race. Is it worth the risk? Are you worth the risk? 

Taking a deep breath in, she releases it and looks into your eyes again.“ You’re compassionate, smart, patient, annoyingly adorable.” She gives you a small smile,“ and even though I’m sure there’s more to learn,” the insecurity lessens replaced with something else, something stronger,“ I like you for everything I already know.” 

You were able to recover the last time you froze, now though you don’t think you will.

Did she just say she likes you? 

Natasha ‘I want nothing to do with your therapy’ Romanoff likes you?

Carol was right! You should’ve known she was. 

You’ve been avoiding each other for weeks all because you were to tied up in your own head. 

“Now I feel dumb for not telling you before.” 

Once again she’s frowning, head tilted a little.“ Before?”

“At the anniversary dinner. When I danced with Carol she said something about you liking me and I disregarded it because let’s face it I thought you barely tolerated me. It seems I was wrong.”

Slight annoyance passes her expression at the thought of Danvers outing her to you. But she pushes that away to focus on the situation at hand.

The woman moves to lean on your desk,“ I have to apologize for the way I acted towards you when you first arrived and recently as well. You were nothing but kind to me and-”

“You don’t have to. Really. I didn’t expect, well I actually kept myself from expecting anything when I was called in so nothing you did hurt my feelings. And it was much nicer than some of the reactions I’ve received.” A breathy chuckle leaves your lips.“ Besides, I’m assuming it’s water under the bridge?” 

Her eyes narrow,“ is it?” 

With wide eyes, you look at her in panic. 

She smiles amusedly,“ it is. I was just joking. Though, I’d like to make it up to you.”

Biting your lip, you ask,“ how so?”

“A date.”

******

taglist:@username23345 @muffliat-o  @aaron-despair @natasha-danvers​ @wildhoney32 @criminallyhamilton @fayhar @nat-km-mh @chicken-wang09

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #prove me wrong #reader insert

[obirains-archive]

The Sun and the Moon and the Sea (Part I)

Series Preview

Summary: After a series of failed missions to the refugee moon Veneskar, Captain Andrew Kaaza and Lieutenant Cassian Andor are the Rebellion's last hope. But their mission begins to sour from Day One. It's salvageable, maybe, by the stern but idealistic Point Runner—if and only if Cassian can convince her to set aside her principles.

Pairing: Cassian Andor x Mirian (OFC)

Tags: Slow burn, enemies to lovers, character backstory, worldbuilding, undercover missions, angst and drama

Series warnings: canon-typical violence, angst, major character death, swearing, some sexual (though not graphic) content

Series rating: M

Despite his hunger, Cassian paused to examine the dish: the same dull beige, long-grained rice she’d made at the Yarems’. Mirian’s chair scraped against the sandy ground; he snuck a glance at her; she had begun to eat. Poison wasn’t completely out of the question but at least the odds were low enough for hunger to win out. He shovelled rice into his mouth like he’d never eat again. It was seasoned with nothing but a few grains of salt; despite its general wetness it soon dried out his tongue. A whole minute passed before he remembered his thirst and turned to the mug. It was tea, he thought. Charcoalish leaves he’d never seen before floated on the water like dead insects.

Cassian took the cup in hand, swirling the liquid inside. The leaves sank and floated again and his stomach sank with them. He took a sip. If Cassian were more familiar with tea in general, he might have described it as fragrant, a little bitter, almost floral if not for its acidity. But as it was he could only equate it to licking a power generator. Just those few drops burned holes through his lips and through his skeleton—how the hell was Mirian drinking this?

While Cassian tried to control his puckering face, Mirian put her spoon down, staring at him.

“I’m sorry that this happened today, Skova.”

Cassian froze, chewing slowly, and stared back at her. He’d have to get used to this gaze of hers: wide, gaunt brown eyes swallowing up his, trained on him, rarely blinking. Eyes it might prove difficult to pull the wool over—and her tongue seemed sharp enough to slice through it, anyway. Cassian tried to match their fixedness with little success, so he went back to his food.

“I’m not the one who needs an apology,” he said after swallowing another mouthful of slimy rice.

“Let me amend it, then.” Mirian folded her hands on her desk. They rested dangerously close to his. 

“I dislike,” she said after a deep breath, “the circumstances surrounding your arrival and subsequent assignment, for reasons we’ve already discussed. I say ‘dislike’ for two reasons. Firstly, because their uniqueness sets me on edge. Secondly, because they’ve made your life here—for the immediate present, at least—much harder. No one’s supposed to jump into this with no training whatsoever. Especially since, I admit, I’m not actually accustomed to provide you with it. And whatever the root of the peculiarity—” here her eyes flashed, “—you’ve been dealt a cruel hand. And I do say ‘cruel’—it’s cruel that you should witness some of the worst this planet has to offer within your first twelve hours.

“So, no, then,” she sighed, “I won’t apologize to you. But I think it’s beneficial, for honesty’s sake, to acknowledge the unique ways in which today has been cruel to you. And it would be cruel of me, too, to pretend that all is well when I’m seated just a foot away from you. That’s why I’m sorry.”

If Cassian had felt awkward before he was now at a total loss for words. This afternoon, this evening, preoccupied with finding Kaaza, his mind had been made up: this was unjust and Mirian was a participant. But now with some of that laid bare—even admitted—he itched to change the subject.

Better yet, shut up altogether. 

“If it’s cruel, it’s common.” He shrugged. “Commonplace. It’s the same everywhere.”

She was staring at him again. “You mean to say—none of today’s events have particularly bothered you?”

“I say it doesn’t matter,” said Cassian decisively. “Doesn’t matter whether I’m bothered or not.”

And her stare was broken. She looked down into her tea. Something deflated inside Cassian’s chest, as if a string that’d pulled taut between them had been snapped.

“I think...” The words were clear but her voice was quiet, pensive. “I think you’re lying, in some way or another. In fact, I hope that’s the case.”

“Life has enough worries already,” Cassian echoed her words from earlier—with some bitterness. Her eyes flickered back up, dark beneath her brows.

“That’s right. It does.” 

But something about that didn’t seem quite as genuine as before. Cassian thought she was lying, too. 

Chapter One coming Saturday, June 26th, 8 pm CST!

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#this has been living in my mind rent free since january so i'm really excited to get it out to you all! hope everyone enjoys <333 #obirainwrites #cassian andor #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian fic #cassian andor x ofc #cassian x oc #cassian x ofc #cassian andor x oc #rogue one fanfiction #rogue one fic #cassian andor x mirian #the sun and the moon and the sea #tsatmats #porgs studies