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#i do love act 3 but man. sometimes it just seems comical how everyone is like OK! so this is a thing now!
myrkulitescourge · 6 months
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i do love how no one in game ever spares more than a single thought about the other vampire spawn being able to misty escape if you walk too close with something like the light of lathander equipped. astarion has ONE line about it
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and then… nothing. should we not be a little more worried about the teleporting vampire spawn? or even wonder why they can teleport suddenly?
did cazador grant them a new power so that they can hunt during the day, like we see there in the flophouse? why would he try to have the six spawn left speedrun the last few victims needed for the ritual if astarion went missing with the final necessary component?
and is this why they’re all so willing to believe cazador will keep his word and set them free when he subverts undeath? because he’s just given them a small token of freedom, the ability to navigate during the day so long as they stay out of direct sunlight? and how did he do it?? much to think about.
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Some headcanons with reader admiring the boys abs and muscles and teasing them about it Jake Samuel Vasco Danny Eli sorry if i passed the limit or smth you can take vasco out if you want :))))
You can write about their reactions too
admiring their muscles
details: gender neutral reader written in 2nd pov, reader has been dating character for a while
a/n: thanks for the request~ 💕 + u can check my request rules if ur worried about the limit but ur fine T_T !
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jake
> he'll notice the second you start admiring his figure and tease you before you can even start your own teasing of him (even if you do, he's not that affected by your words)
> this man will literally put on a show for you
> mainly in the form of flexing and getting reeeeaal close to you. you're already staring, why don't you get a closer look~?
> it depends on the mood but his flirtiness either comes off as cringey or him trying to rile you up lol
> honestly, he loves whenever you admire him. it's good for his ego and gives him an excuse to tease you (not that he needs one 💖)
> sometimes he even strategically places himself in a place where he knows you'd be able to stare just so he can tease you ^_^
samuel
> this guy wears comically tight shirts nearly 24/7. you can ogle at him whenever you want
> samuel's a hit or miss when it comes to him teasing you back, but he definitely notices every time you stare
> sometimes he'll stare back! sometimes he'll ask in a rather sultry voice, "do you need something?" sometimes he'll just ignore you <3
> when he feels like entertaining you, he'll often reflect your teases with arrogant things like, "oh, you don't say?" otherwise he's not really affected lol
> acts like he doesn't care whenever you give him this kind of lighthearted attention but he does care. a little bit. only because it's you <3
> if you want a blushy samuel--you have a better chance achieving that by showing him genuine kindness/trust instead of teasing him about how hot his muscles are!
vasco
> think about the most dense object in the world. now multiply that by two and you have vasco's amount of denseness
> you really do have to be straightforward with your teasing or else vasco is going to misinterpret you for friendliness (as in, no romantic intentions, even though you two are dating) or possibly even making fun of him ("are you... downplaying the effort i put into my muscles? :(")
> once he does realize, he'll get a little embarrassed but prideful because his loving partner is complimenting him <3 he appreciates the fact that you're admiring his muscles either way !!
> 100% compliments you back but in his own... unique, charming way, you know?
> "would you like to touch my muscles? since you are such a big fan of them ^_^" <- might sound flirty but you know he means it in the most innocent way
> finds your teasing/admiration cute :]
daniel
> will always get flustered when you tease him, but the intenseness of said feeling decreases the more he gets used to dating you~
> mostly just a stammering mess
> when he's feeling particularly cheesy/flirty he'll try to smoothly tease you back about your charms. usually it's just him being too cute to have any real effect on you, but sometimes... 👁️
> if you embarrass him enough, he'll try to cover up, and if that's not possible, cue daniel rolling into a ball <3
> still, he'll welcome compliments from you anytime !!
> not to be angsty but. he will always have deeply rooted feelings of guilt whenever you compliment his taller body in general because he doesn't feel like he deserves them
eli
> honestly he doesn't really react with much other than a chuckle but he stores the info in mind like "so they seem to like when i wear this shirt that emphasizes my chest... i should wear it more often~"
> will probably use said info against you in the near future.
> anyways he thinks you teasing him is adorable, and he doesn't mind it at all
> also he gets a little shy <3 everyone already calls him good looking, but hearing it from his special someone means a lot more!
> he'll flirt back if you tease him for long enough, but it's in a very soft way; pulls you in for a hug and a forehead kiss while saying, "aw, you really think so?" (yes he's playing a little dumb to mess with you)
> gets embarrassed more easily if you tease him in front of his friends (hostel) <3
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quillsmora · 11 months
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First I want to say I'm so sorry people have sent you hateful messages or said mean things to you over issues you've had with IW. That's so unnecessary. I'm sending you internet hugs.
Secondly, thank you for sharing a balanced view of Gunn. His work is often excellent but that doesn't mean he lacks room for improvement. It's been difficult since vol 3 came out to have many constructive conversations about the movie and regarding Gamora. It's been frustrating to see people who criticized EG and the Russo's for not focusing on certain things and not developing parts of the story more or who swore up and down Gunn would absolutely focus on them and do it so much better, and now that vol 3 is out missing some of the same story beats, people are totally fine with it or acting as if they were never needed in the first place. It's okay to love some stuff while admitting other stuff wasn't great. It's not better or more mature to pretend something is flawless. It's also eye opening seeing people do this and then turn around and predominantly praise or gush over every other character but Gamora. If they think everything was flawless why not gush over her too. Then there's the people scrutinizing Gamora as if she were the villain. I saw Thanos get more love from some fans. It's like I'm in the worst timeline. I'm just happy for Gamora friendly blogs like yours. It makes my fandom experience much better.
ty for the hug anon <3
and yeah, i like gunn and his work, but at the end of the day he's still a straight white man™️ with the experiences of a straight white man™️ and it can sometimes come across in his writing. again, my only issue with vol 3 is that i wish it delved more into this new gamora and her relationships with the other guardians/what lead her to becoming a ravager. sometimes it felt like she was only there because they needed to wrap up peter's arc on moving on from grief. i was personally disappointed in that as someone who's been a gamora fan since i first saw her in that cut scene of her topless in the vol 1 trailers that definitely had a major part in my gay awakening on the big screen when i was 11 years old. i think it's important to acknowledge the people you respect, especially in an industry like Hollywood, aren't perfect and you can disagree with their choices while still liking what they did end up making. a lot of that has been lost, especially when it comes to talking about comic book movies (you know exactly what group of fans i'm referring to).
gamora is definitely the least talked about guardian out of everyone and i've seen a lot of misinterpretation about what gamora was in vol 3/people seeming to forget that she died and saying she and peter just "grew apart". there are others who are quick to say who peter should move on with (it's not just that ship, for some reason the five peter x kitty fans in existence seem to think they now have a shot of mcu starkat/prydequill lmao), and who have diminished what gamora meant to all the other guardians, not just peter and nebula. like, she was groot's mother!! and james had to clarify that in an instagram comment because people couldn't pick up on that dynamic in vol 2!!!
gamora deserved so much better than what she was given in the mcu, and i'm always going to believe that. hell, she also deserves better than what she's currently being given in the comics too.
i'm glad my blog is being seen as a bright spot by other gamora fans! i've loved gamora for nearly a decade now and i'll always love her. she's been such a core part of my fandom identity, it's kinda like how i'll always love ariel from the little mermaid or katniss from the hunger games or even santana from glee, her character helped me identify with and discover myself growing up :,).
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nights-flying-fox · 2 years
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I would unironically love to see your essay about Ice Age movies.
HI HELLO SORRY BEING SO LATE BUT!!! ARI THANK YOU SO MUCH IVE BEEN WANTING TO DO AN ESSAY ABOUT THIS SO MUCH
Okay, so!! I'll be talking about the first five movies, no shorts/series/whatever Disney made with Buck.
Also I hope you're ready for my rambling :D
Welcome to the Ice Age essay: why the first three movies are great, four is meh and five is... not good in my opinion.
I think there are three important elements about the Ice Age movies. The balanced story (serious themes and the comedic side), the characters and the world building consistency. I'll explain my ideas under these three points.
1- The Balance
Possibly one of the most important reasons the first movie is so well done. In the first movie the viewer doesn't get overwhelmed with the sad tones or the comedic part. There's a balance. It both makes you laugh with scenes like "I'm Lord of the flames!" and Scrat's various failed attempts, and breaks your heart with scenes such as the one with the cave paintings (Manny's past family) and Diego's sacrifice.
The same is done well in The Meltdown and The Dawn of the Dinosaurs too. (The first one got many silly scenes, not only with Sid or Scrat, but with the whole herd. As well got some serious scenes like the whole last mammoth thing and Ellie's past. And the third movie got both the comrdy and the whole herd having some family issues which I would gladly would talk but don't want to make this too long so I'll cut it short.)
Meanwhile, Continental Drift and Collison Course seem to lack that balance. I don't remember the fourth movie much sadly, but I remember it not having the same balance from the prevous movies. And the fifth movie... it could use the serious elements in so many better ways, yet we're stuck with constant jokes and nothing more than goofy moments. It doesn't show the importance of some events.
Peaches leaving home is a very important issue. Ellie wanting to be sure her daughter is ready to start her own life is very important for her. But you can't feel it when the movie portrays it with Crash and Eddie acting as babies and Granny being an arsonist.
2- The Characters
The first movie introduces us to Manny, Diego and Sid, along Scrat and some other characters. We get to learn about their personalities, the same goes with each movie.
When a sequel is made, there is the possibility of characters being out of chatacter. Sometimes it's not too much. But sometimes...
I believe this is a big issue with Collisioun Course. Because everyone feels just so out of chatacter. In the previous sequels, they both got their original personality and growth. In this movie nobody seems to have any of them. Even Buck acts different than how he was in the third movie.
There also the fact most characters don't do much. They don't have a part in the story. It's a problem when you have way too many characters in your story. The fourth movie somehow got it handled by separating the group (Manny, Sid, Diego and Granny got separated from Ellie, her brothers, Peaches and Louis) and handling them with different views of the story. But in the fifth movie, Shira is mostly just standing in the background, Crash and Eddie are just comic reliefs...
Also another problem: forgetting the past characters. It is a problem with every sequel actually. None of the sequels mention the baby or the humans (I wish at least we had seen the necklace the man had given Manny once). Then we never get mention of Rudy or the Rex family when Buck appears again, or Louis in the fifth movie (only a small cameo) even though he was Peaches' best friend.
3- World Building Consistency
Ice Age (2002) shows us that animals act mostly like animals. They don't drink from straws or wear bikinis or act human like too much (like anthro characters from other media) in this universe. While The Meltdown and Dawn of the Dinosaurs break this rule slightly (Fast Tony's stuff I think and Buck's "knife"), Continental Drift breaks even more (pirates and those little guys I forgot their name), Collusion Course destroys it completely. Yes I am talking about the scene where Sid's last date comes and Sid shows her their future life plan. And yes I am talking about the whole marriage thing too because since when Manny and Ellie are married? Since when we get weddings and wedding arrangements??? What is this???? (I really dislike the whole marriage thing so much I am so sorry but it's just. Wrong.)
Also Ice Age world is realistic. Lava kills animals, it comes from underground... which leads to me poiting you the beginning Scrat scene of Continetal Drift. Where he runs inside Earth and creates contents.
And then I point to the beginning scene of Collision Course, where Scrat somehow creates the Solary System. Which should've existed since the beginning.
You get it, right? It makes no sense at all.
And the fact in the last movie antagonist dinos can talk is given no explanation is a bad move in my opinion. None of the intelligent dinos (Rudy who was vengeful towards Buck and smart enough to hide and wait in the exit, or Dino Mama who understands Sid pretty well) talked, why these guys can do now?
I'm sure there are other stuff too but it's 3am and I can't think anymore right now sorry TwT
And these are points.
Oh, and onether thing I want to add, that is kinda a theory: The movies are actually about Manny.
Ice Age shows his path to recovery from the events in his past. The Meltdown shows him moving on, and possibly getting over some his fears. The Dawn of the Dinosaurs shows one of the most important parts of his life. He is going to be a father again, he can't let his family end up hurt (or worse) again. He learns that you can't control and try to change everything around you, even if you mean well. And yet, things can end up okay. Continental Drift shows him going through a new experience, with a teen daughter. And Collusion Course shows him letting Peaches go, the biggest step. Through every movie he is overprotective towards his herd. But now he understands that he can't protect her forever, and it's okay. He trusts her, she'll be okay on her own.
...I'm getting emotional. Anyways, thank you for reading my Ice Age thoughts!! 💖💖
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lowkeyclueless5137 · 6 months
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I see the double magical girl isekai AU. I can do you all one better. Double Isekai AU, BUT WITH MIRACULOUSES BABY! 🤩. FOR EXAMPLE Yuuki and Orpheus somehow have the miracle box and they are also have the ladybug and cat miraculous. And they bring said miraculous to twst(future miraculous users anyone. Plus am I the only one who wants to see Ortho with a miraculous in this AU) aka the one AU Orpheus can still kick bad guy’s butt and have super powers!
ANON DON'T DO THIS TO ME, PLEASE! I HAVE A WHOLE PILE OF INDIVIDUAL MLB X TWST AUS-
Anyways new MLB Au, people :3
Also I deny some of cannon MLB shit because it's like... So contradicting... :'3
No senti-monster Agreste bullshit. Like this is an Au so I can mess up the cannon as much as I want. Take it more as the movie cannon, bc from some summaries I heard around, the movie is absolutely a perfect fit for this Au :3
You said future heroes of Paris and I took that LITERALLY.
Yuuki and Orpheus, but they are the kids of Marinette and Adrien. (Yuulia and Otto too)
Yuulia was planned, Yuuki was planned as well, Orpheus just spontaneously got adopted and Otto was not planned at first but like... Once the news are in, everyone is acting like this was planned for years.
Marinette is a successful fashion designer and Adrien is both her personal model and a modest baker. This man LOVES to bake. It's his passion and his wife makes him personalised aprons or work uniform.
Yuulia showed interest in baking, so the bakery has a heir. U-Ub
Orpheus is a fashion guru on his own. Man would be out for BLOOD if he ever catches his siblings in something less than fashionable. So Marinette knows that at least that passion was definitely inherited from her.
Yuuki... Well... Yuuki is definitely the more feral out of the 3, definitely took that from her father. But they are a fencing prodigy and a proud genderless pal who can rock crocs with socks as long as Orpheus doesn't catch wind of it. -3-;
They would also have loving grandparents. Like Sabine and Tom are very happy to see their house brimming with kids when the family is visiting. For Gabe... Dunno man, I'd say he had a redemption arc, but still the kids don't seem to be that fond of him. He tries to be a good parent and thankfully, Orpheus and Yuulia seem to be more open about it. (Yuuki is just too chaotic to handle for Gabriel)
There is also Uncle Felix from London who shows the kids how to do crimes party tricks! He's the chill uncle. Aunt Kagami is also super cool and teaches the kids fencing. (although at first she almost dropped each of them when they were little. Her kid holding privileges were revoked)
Now for the miraculous repartition~
I'm going to say, like in my MLB mild au series on Ao3, that the ladybug could only fix damage inflicted by the holder, while the cat can break all the curses/power effects inflicted by another Miraculous. They both can purify in here tho. That way both are not overpowering each other.
Of course, Yuulia was at first the ladybug holder, but she had to attend college in another state this year, so she had to revoke the position. She has the horse miraculous instead(in the comic I drew her with glasses, so I guess it's a pretty neat fir) She sometimes has spontaneous visits, or steals some baked goods. :'3
Next in line were the 'twins'. Yuuki was absolutely a perfect fit for Plag. And while Orpheus was a more indirect fighter, Mari felt like he needed to work a bit on his confidence. Still he was called Ortho by his family, more as a nickname. So he gets the ladybug miraculous. He's at least smart enough to not throw the lucky charm in the enemy's face (Yuulia, we looking at u) But, with the new persona he is indeed more confident. He has a few times where that confidence is easily tared down, but ya know, great! :3
In here, the butterfly and peacock are both fixed and in the box, so the villains this time are either petty criminals or other miraculous holders from another boxes. As such there could be a similar one to the butterfly, or different ones who just heard about the Paris shenanigans and of course, wanted more power.
Here's also when we get our fav trope: the Isekai. :3
Of course, it's via a mirror, not a villain. And it's in the Dupon-Cheng-Agreste (you choose) House, so like both the parents are absolutely terrified since their 2 kids just started high-school and they were kidnapped by a magic mirror, with the miracle box to boot.
Cue waking up in coffins. The first instinct was to transform, of course Yuuki desintegrating their coffin lid while Orpheus had his blown by Grim.
Watch Grim go to surprise when he gets caught in a yo-yo and 2 masked people in wierd costumes are literally talking where the 'possessed object is' or things in between.
But Grim gets free, so we still get that epic chase. Crowley intervents and he gets slapped with a stick in the face! Yay! :D
Since they were throughly reached by their parents, timer wasn't really a problem for the 2. What was a problem instead, was the fact that they had to keep with them the miracle box. (stuffed in Yuuki's special pockets, ofc) And with Grim breaking havoc, it was really REALLY hard to not pull the dragon miraculous out and just put out the fire the easy way out. Nope! They had to be smart!
So Yuuki wacks the shit out of Grim. They get accidentally collared by Riddle and we're seconds away from waking the redhead too. :'3
Just a lot of back and forth and the mirror deciding that yep, these bitches magicless. (the miraculous magic was foreign and also concealing Orpheus's magic, so the mirror got fooled. :'3)
Cue prologue, but with a lot of unnecessary violence and Orpheus palm-facing all the way to the moon and back. Yay! The power of friendship and all that crap! :'D
For the school to easily understand that the hell is up with these 2 wierd students, it's lied around that the 2 wierd people from the entrance ceremony dissappeared and these 2 were just students that were unrepartisated. No one could remember ALL the mfs that were sorted that chaotic night, so they bought that up. Crowley is the only one who knows and uses that shit as blackmail. :'3
Oh and Adeuce at the mine incident in the prologue. Great! Their parents are gonna lose their shit! :')
Chapter 1 and Ace definitely brings up the possibility of using a miraculous against Riddle in the duel. Like PLEASE let them win against that shortie~
Both Yuuki and Ortho refuse, since they have magic, like go and figure it on their own. You actually have powers that are not influenced by a 1 time use or your skill in winging it. Plus you also have some great variety! Like DUDE-
1 overBlot later and Yuuki with Orpheus's alter egos make it through the rumors as NRC's masked heroes. So great everyone thinks it's someone that has magic and not these 2 magicless dumbasses that absolutely hyped each other to snort rose paint. (Yuuki ended up in the infirmary, but for those 50 madols from their already shared allocation, it was worth it)
Chapter 2 has Orpheus racking his brain SO MUCH over the incidents. Like he's all over this and having a whole whiteboard like in that meme with the nuts dude.
Meanwhile Yuuki just stumbles upon a convo in between Ruggie and some savanaclaw students who know what's up and as such figured out the whole goddamn thing. But it's fun watching Orpheus feret about it so much. :'3
In the end, Yuuki is hanged up from the ceiling by the ladybug Yo-yo. :'v
Chapter 3 and we get the aqua potions introduced! Along with the fox miraculous, used by Orpheus to make them invisible and sneak in the museum without the twins spotting them. Just to be safe, Adeuce, Grim and Jack were used as sacrifice lambs. :'3
In the Azul battle, we also get Yuuki with the Ox, just to mess with him. Get hammered! >:3
Chapter 4 has Yuuki and Orpheus wishing they had the horse miraculous. But unfortunately, Yuulia still has it with her, back in America.
But, this time, we get the dragon entering through! Mostly to escape.
Then we have overBlot Jamil! The big reveal of his schemes and the betrayal that has Kalim in shambles.
And we get the butterfly this time. Wielded by Orpheus, while Yuuki got the rooster, using it so they could all get faster back. Orpheus used the butterfly to try and resonate with Kalim and turn his negative feelings into power and the hope to save Jamil and fix the situation.
Anyway we punch Jamil in the face! Yay! :D
Book is is a book that for the majority of time Orpheus has his dramatic couch moment because how come Adeuce surpass him in his specialty(dance)?! Yuuki was great at fencing, while Yuulia did have a few medals in gymnastics.
In this book, it is revealed that Orpheus was a prodigy in competitive dancing. More like Yuuki telling to Grim why her lil brother is weeping like a primadona on the dorm couch. He's doing this for the drama at this point. Let him have it. :'3
In here it's also revealed that the Dupan-Cheng and Bourgeois rivalry is still alive and kicking. Chloé happened to have twins the same age as Yuuki and Orpheus. And while the mothers were now on actually good terms, leaving all that petty bartender aside like adults, the kids? Hooo Boi, the kids are a whole different story. The Bourgeois twins are the main bullies for Orpheus, while Yuuki is their natural enemy. It's not like Orpheus doesn't rile them up as well. Adrien was called one day to the principal office in middle school because Yuuki bit one of the twins, while the other twin put gum in Orpheus's hair. Oh, Chloé had a laughing fest while Adrien profusely apologised for the misunderstanding.
So the overBlot happens... :3
And also Yuuki reveals that their friend, horni boi, was actually THE Malleus Draconia.
NRC lose to one vote for RSA and despite all the expectations, Orpheus punches first the French He-man. Yuuki is very proud. -w-
Chapter 6 comes and by this point Orpheus knew he could do magic without a miraculous. But still... He opted to follow Rook with the miraculous on, much like Yuuki. Epel thought it was absolutely awesome that the 2 NRC heroes are partnered up with him in order to catch the blonde generic IKEA lamp hair guy. :3c
Oh, Orpheus is not ready for the following bandwagon. One thing that happens to the miraculouses due to his young age, but still very intensive control, is that when Orpheus loses his cool completely, his timer gets activated if he used his special power. Which he did, when Charons attacked them on the ice then.
So as the deemed 'leader' of the group and also as Orpheus had his full fire hair when using the miraculous, Idia reserves some extra talk to him, which he would've loved to, but right now it's absolutely the worst moment. :'3
Yep... Idia also finds out. The lil secret. And Orpheus is trying to handle the whole 'congrats, you're actually from a cursed family that is controlling the magic FBI'. Like it was fucked up on so many layers and poor Orpheus had a very hard time coming around it.
Thankfully, in here, there is Tikki as a mediator, so Idia has a far more gentle approach upon everything. It helps a lot with calming down both parts and just trying to function and both wrap their heads around the whole situation.
Meanwhile our dear bby Ortho is trying to cause an apocalypse. Ya know... Just a tiny bit of crime. :3
So, of course, this prompts Orpheus to bring again the butterfly miraculous. But this time, he trusts Idia with it. It was a bit of a mental gymnastics, but ya know, there had to be someone who kept all the tower teams interconnected. Orpheus promises to just be a guide through this, but he also needs to use the ladybug miraculous if they wanted less of a damage to be done.
Meanwhile Yuuki is strangling phantoms. What a fun Sunday activity! :3
So we have this time an epic team of akumas fighting the Phanthom titans. Like don't tell me that doesn't sound cool! :v
After that, Idia does return the miraculous, but wants just to catch up with Orpheus and both of them to try and figure all of this out. Still, Orpheus had to go to NRC and Ortho had to be rebuild.
Cue after the whole thing is over, the 3 Shroud Bois trying to catch up with one another. Yuuki is also included since siblings are siblings (plus if any of the 2 hurt Orpheus, they are getting yeeted into the sun)
And for book 7... Mmmm I'll go with the whole separation route. Like Yuuki and Idia are caught in the dream world whole Orpheus and Ortho need to go to STIX and figure how to punt Malleus faster. :3
That would be all! :v
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echodimension · 6 months
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Comic Beginning
I wanna play around with the opening a bit more- I think rather than it just being an "odd day unlike any other", I was debating on adding a funeral as well. Tbh I got the idea from a dnd dms idea thing- so I wanna try working further with that concept.
The difficult part as of right now is figuring out who died and why? Who's all at the funeral? What do they say and how do these things fit into the story?
Although I doubt I'll find any or all of those answers- let alone actually use any of it for the finished product. However I've been watching a lot of Hawaii 50 along with spooky stuff with Halloween coming to an end. (happy sahiem everyone!<3)
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My story takes place in a very small mountain/forest kind of town, with a population probably no more than 20-30 people living there when it's not summer time- so because of that, I wonder if the funeral should be for the old major of the town?
Honestly that could help out a lot of parts with the story. It'd be an easy way to introduce the whole town, explain what kind of major he was and what kind of town they're living in, and I'm pretty sure a whole small town like that is in morning for their major would be.. pretty different so it still fits with my original opening.
Possibly the old major had some enemies within the town? They could be at the funeral or could be the whole reason the old major died in the first place. Regardless- I feel like the new replacement major would be there immediately. Probably play up a lot of their own drama with it in hopes of reaching out to the community and even win along the way. I would say that the new major killed the old one so that he could move into office faster but I don't think I wanna go with that because I've been seeing that a lot within my tv shows n I'd like to do something a lil more interesting for my personal story.
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The Old Major = a absolutely old fart who didn't really have an idea of what was going on but he was helpful to strangers and neighbors when he could, a very old fashioned man, stubborn and sometimes mistaken as rude or pure brain dead. it's a mixed bag through out the town on if he's liked, hated, loved or tolerated. regardless he kept the small town running and moving forward as the major for over 40 years. not everybody agreed with him but most people respected him. kids liked to pick on him of course.
The New Major = at the funeral, his dramatic theater acts made him quite suspicious with the town people- not to mention that he's from the city and doesn't know a whole lot of people or much of anything for that matter. he's just a small guy in a suit fresh out of collage from New York, based off of his clean look- he seems gay. he is gay. very gay. however the new major eventually proves himself to the town because he becomes an active member of the community, eventually got to know everybody and began making big improvements on the town as it gets repaired, refurbished, cleaned and slightly expanded. when spooky things start to happen later on within the story, he ends up being very helpful with the magic, spooky, and mysterious goings on. he just wants to be a good major and be there for the people he leads with a rainbow streak.
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That's all I really have for right now so I suppose I'll expand onto this more later but again- I'm not sure about any of this really lol
However I feel like I'm making a lot of progress with it and hopefully this'll end up being a comic! This def by far he longest I've worked on a writing/drawing/comic book type of project! Granted I don't think anybody actually reads/looks at my posts but just posting the story stuff and sharing into the void really helps me stay on track with this and reminds me to work on it more rather than a google doc and I'm just really proud of myself <3
Thanks for reading if you did though and see ya later- probs
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Bootylicious
Stray Kids Bang Chan x Idol!Reader Summary: You're known as the gym rat in your group, and quite frankly, you only have two moods: shredding or chilling. This was why when you're not asleep in between schedules, you're spotted with a male idol you happened to meet in the gym you were at that day. It's a known fact though, that you and Bang Chan are gym buddies and each other's spotter. Word Count: 2k+ Warnings: Internet toxicity, sasaengs, vulgar language, sexism, misogyny, pining, fluff, mentions of Pentagon because why not <3, etc.
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A/N: Girl, i shouldn't do this but I did. It's so funny to me someone requested this cause I have recently become an exercise junkie lol. Also, if you can't tell, there is a pov shift after the cut so yeah. I also wanted to keep the reader gender neutral but I want to write about how psychotically different people treat male and female idols because that stuff aint it. It's most definitely not what anon was expecting me to write but I hope they enjoy it nonetheless.
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There's compilation in YT with growing parts centered around you flexing your physical fitness and prowess. It ranges from you affectionally touring your fans, which really meant the cameraman, through the gym, introducing your trainer, and doing your routine on camera, to your group (and others) both fawning and bragging about how strong and how hot you are.
CLIP #1: A scene from an interview of your group in Japan, struggling to talk about how you can do 40 straight push ups.
There was a male interviewer in a suit you could all faintly recognize was talking about your recent Instagram post of a gym mirror selfie.
One of your youngest members smirked and in broken Japanese, cutely said, "Wah, she does 100 push ups! Everyday, every night."
You snap your head to the maknae and raise your brows, "nani?" You begin to shake your hands in protest and begin to explain your truth, "absolutely not 100. Maybe around 40, but nooooo, not 100."
The interviewer and your group comically react in awe. The man in the suit urges, "can you show us?"
You give a face, "Excuse me, but I'm not getting paid to do that in this miniskirt."
Everyone, including the film crew, break into laughter.
CLIP #2: A scene from a variety show where you had to prove you were, in fact, yourself, by doing a shortened version of your exercise routine.
One of the hosts of the show asks, "Wait, do you honestly do all of this in your workout? Like you can do all of it?"
The list of your exercises were written on a colourful cardboard, held by the one who just spoke. It was a range of exercises in 10 sets, from jumping jacks to sit ups, to vague sounding exercises like crab pinches and robot arms.
You purse your lips at the last question asked of you, not really liking the tone in which it was asked. You answer quickly and nod proudly, "I actually do more, cause when I get in the zone and I'm already really sweaty, I feel like I should keep going until my whole body burns." You chuckle.
The older hosts, tilt their head and mutter lowly under their breath something along the lines of, "I'd rather die."
You finally do the routine, quickly, continuously, earning impressed reactions from everyone.
"That's hot," one of the hosts note.
"Ya, for some reason it looks easy to do."
The hosts begin to clamour at that statement, and force whoever said to do the exact thing you did. Clearly, they don't work out as much as you do and cannot even get halfway through it without stopping.
You break out into a breathless laugh in amusement of the comical attempt but then protest, explaining how bad it is to force yourself to do more than you can
CLIP #3: Pentagon, Hongseok especially, fawns over how fit you are
Trailing a conversation about how your group is close with Pentagon because your companies are situated closely to each other and you wind up eating together a lot, there is an anecdote about how there was a jar no one could open, no one but you, that is.
The interviewer asks no one in particular, "wah, none of you could open the jar? Really? Or did you all just pretend so she could open it?"
There is a chorus of answers concluding with, "no really, she was the only one that was able to open it."
The story is backed up by how the jar had a really small lid and some hands were too big. Then came an explanation how you were recently into the new rock climbing machine in your gym.
Hongseok speaks up, "I was invited to go to rock climbing in, like, an actual rock climbing place and I was honestly so surprised when she began to climb. She said she never actually tried rock climbing on a wall, but it seemed like she had been doing it for years."
Shinwon agrees, "Right, right. I was also really curious about what they did that day," he points to Hongseok, "that I joined them one time. I never felt so out of shape in my life. I just stayed back and filmed everything."
Pentagon laughs, and then agrees that you were exceptionally fast and just super fit in all honesty.
The interviewer catches Hongseok's expression then suddenly asks, "do you like a woman like that?"
"Yeah, I like my women strong."
Then came a lot of teasing remarks from Pentagon, and a plethora of complaints from delusional fans who did not want Hongseok to ever breathe in your direction again.
With all that's been said about that, in all the parts of this series floating around in the internet, one thing remained, there was a slightly larger population of impressed fans than the still large portion of antifans who wanted nothing to do with it and only came around to hate.
It's hard not to think about it, but even the slightest back handed compliment can sometimes linger in one's mind.
And right now, as much as I kept my mind on my counting as I finished my set high knees, I couldn't help but think of how much backlash I got from posting a post workout photo with my midriff exposed.
Apparently that was not only enough to merit hate for being both a whore and an attention whore, but people baselessly began to hate on my groupmates simply for being associated with me.
It's kind of sad really, how, say Wonho, can post a fairly exposed photo of himself and get so much praise for it, and yet I couldn't even do anything remotely close to that.
And I don't even mean to come at Wonho, we all know he's a beast at the gym and should be able to show as much of his hard work as he is comfortable in showing, but why can't I?
"Hey trooper. I thought you said you were only doing 80 counts?" a voice cracks me out of my train of thought.
I turn to whom spoke and chuckle at myself as I stop my leg raises, "ah yeah, I got lost in thought, and your really good song."
I pull on my earphones and give a lopside smile, "I love working out to God's Menu."
He gives a soft, "he he, thanks."
"No need for a thank you when I'm only giving my honest opinion, Chan."
"Yeah, well still, it makes my kokoro go doki-doki," he sniggers, crossing his arms and flashing a dimpled smile. I raise my upper lip and reel back, "EWWW!"
I playfully shove him. He acts hurt, "this is violence against children."
"Chan, you're literally older than me."
"That doesn't mean I'm not a child at heart."
"You mean, it doesn't mean you're not a drama queen."
"Hey, I have no interest in having a throne, my only interest is," he leans in and whispers, "you."
I feel my soul leave my body as he snorts to himself and runs away. I regurgitate in surprise, "YA!"
"You better do your next set properly," Chan says heading off to a cable row machine, "I'm always watching."
I try to ignore the blood rushing up your neck, "creep."
He shrugs, "rather that or have you get injured, sweet heart."
Yeah, Chan has saved me from a lot of injuries I could have had. It was a bad habit. It stemmed from the same thing that made me mess up my count a while ago, my overthinking.
Sometimes I thought of rather harmless things, but sometimes I began to fixate on the hate I received for simply being. I do a lot to get my mind to realize that they hated me simply because they could and because it was easy. Exercising helped tremendously, especially when I had someone fun to work out with, especially when I was with Chan. He just... made me feel safe, y'know.
But when the news of us being work out buddies surfaced, a lot of sasaengs came for me. Of course, a lot of Stays and my own fans were really kind about, speaking out that we were our own people and exercising together did not mean anything in particular really.
But some really went for it, and made it a hobby to comment on everything I was in that I was a slut for 'working out' with different men every day."
I let out a breath as I finish my routine. I catch my breath and go for a swig of my water. I take a moment then sit down by the mirror, which was near where Chan was currently working out.
"You're doing it again."
I turn from where I was blankly staring at turn to Chan who gave me a soft look, "you good?"
I release a sigh then purse my lips, "maybe."
He pouts, "what happened?"
I shrug and stand from where I sat, "you know, the usual."
Chan then comes up to me and takes my water bottle from me, "you know, no matter how much people say you don't need water to live, you can never change the fact that you are extremely dependent on water to live."
I look at him and half- heartedly point, "are you calling me thirsty?"
He begrudgingly groans and releases a chuckle. He calls my name out in a scolding tone. I feel myself relax, "I know what you're getting at Chan."
He nods, "good. I'll always be here to remind you of that."
I smile and feel an urge to hug him, "if you weren't so sweaty, I would totally hug you right now."
Chan then gives me a look then does not hesitate to crush me into his arms. I groan and whine in protest. He chuckles, "you literally just said you wanted a hug!"
"YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEATY. NO ONE WANTS THIS TORTURE."
Chan huffs and gives a wounded look, "hmp. You better spot me while I lift or else I'm unfriending you."
"Hmm... I think I'll be good without you as a friend."
I half expect Chan to whine about it, but he instead smirks, "ahhhh, you must want me to be your boyfriends so badly huh."
I- I mean...
CLIP #4: A crack edit of Chan when he gets asked about his gym relationship with me in Chan's Room.
He was looking through the questions and suddenly chuckles, his ears noticeably began to redden. Cue a zoom in of his face and his red ears. Cue a clip of Cardi B saying, "that's suspicious."
He says my name then continues, "am I close with her? Yeah. I would say I'm close with her-- and her whole group actually."
Captioned: Nice save, Chris.
"The kids and I are close with her group," he says, clearing his throat.
A clip of him clearing his throat is repeated about ten times.
Chan adjust the beanie he was wearing as he thinks of what he was going to say next, "we actually do work out together a lot because she's under a trainer that works with my trainer."
Captioned: Sure, Chan. That's the only reason, right?
Chan catches another question, "Is she a beast in the gym like Hongseok says?" He breaks into a laugh. He then rubs his cheek and grits his teeth.
A clip of someone saying, "Oh he's jealous," flashes on screen.
"Yeah," Chan finally says, "she's got a really high stamina."
Cue the clip, WHAT DID HE SAY?
Chan continues, "she can go between exercises without stopping. she doesn't even take that much time to catch her breath. In fact, she sings while exercising sometimes, which helps make her vocals stable."
Captioned: Queen Tingz.
The next thing that happens is Chan breaks into a laugh and begins to chuckle. He says, "Sorry I saw a funny comment."
Captioned: WHAT HE MEANS IS HE SAW A COMMENT SAYING 'SHUT UP CHRIS, YOU'RE WHIPPED."
Then came these comments:
LITERALLY LOOK AT HOW FLUFFY BANG CHAN GETS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT HER DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME MY SHIP IS ALIVE
They are dating period. prove me wrong. you cant
Chan literally blushes over anything, buT HE TURNED INTO A TOMATO WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT HER BYE
if you hate on your faves loving each other, you most definitely need Jesus (:
PLEASE CAN YOU SEE HOW WHIPPED THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER
Yeah... it's not been confirmed to this day.
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dameronology · 3 years
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it's no use, i just do {bucky barnes}
'if i just wanted someone to hold, then really anyone would do/i'd close my eyes and really try not to turn them into you, but it's no use, i just love you' - no use i just do, hayley williams
(a.k.a: the one where bucky needs a hug, but specifically from you)
eugh more bucky stuff from my drafts? yes. i think so. truth be told, I started writing this like 3 months ago (whenever flowers for vases came out) but it's been sat collecting dust. enjoy :-)
- jazz xx
p.s this is spoiler free!
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The nights were always hardest for Bucky Barnes.
The dark always reminded him of the furthest corners of his mind; the ones holding his worst memories, skeletons collecting dust, rotting away until he forgot about them completely or forced them out with intensive therapy. Both were options that he was completely dreading - so he forced them down, forced them to the back and did everything within his power to ignore. It was easy enough during the day, when he was surrounded by his friends, occupied by work and the buzz of New York City.
Then the sun went away, and with the rising of the moon came the echoes and ghosts of Winter Soldier's past. Thanks to the likes of Netflix and YouTube, the modern world was filled with enough things to distract Bucky from the grips of his own mind. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
And tonight was one of the nights where it didn't. Every time he shut his eyes - squeezed them shut and gripped onto his thin blankets like a flimsy anchor to the present - he got flashbacks. Reminders of the things he'd done and the people he'd hurt. They always had the same look in their eyes, whenever they flashed into his mind. He couldn't see it then, but now he could feel again, he knew it was fear. The same look he had in his eyes every time he was clamped into a chair and forced to have the last remaining ounce of his humanity wiped.
Bucky's hold-ups about his feelings for you seemed almost comical compared to the problems he dealt with then. But he could feel more now, which meant his brain was so hyperaware of every little thing he felt for you; love, attachment, fear. All things that were enough to send him into a spiral, even if the feeling of your arms around him and lips meshed against his was the first reminder of his humanity since nineteen-forty-fucking-five.
Distance had felt like the answer. Cutting you out completely and acting like he hadn't fallen into your bed every night for six months seeking comfort. It was kind of a dick move, but it was one you understood. Actually, no, it wasn't, because you didn't understand a single thing the man ever fucking did. That's probably why you'd let him go so easily - people came and went. Maybe he was just supposed to be the latter.
How was it going, you ask? Given that Bucky had elbowed his way into your apartment complex at 3AM and was pacing outside your front door - pretty fucking terribly. Normally, he wasn't that bad at resisting the urge to seek you out, but tonight had been hard. Too hard. His hands were still shaking, shirt still sticking to his back with sweat. The nightmares had been...visual, to say the least. He felt like a monster, and you were the only person he trusted enough to convince him otherwise.
"Hey, dumbass. I have a Ring doorbell - what the fuck are you doing out there?"
Bucky jumped at the sound of your voice. Technology: 1. Barnes: 0.
The front door swung open, revealing a tired-looking you. Your hair was pushed back off your face, large nightshirt swamping your body. He knew you got mad when your beauty sleep was interrupted, but you got even madder when he suffered in silence.
"I..." Bucky trailed off.
"Nightmares. I know." You stepped aside. "Come in."
You didn't push any further, or berate him for his radio silence over the last few weeks. He was grateful for that. You were the only person who didn't ask so many questions all the time. Bucky didn't mind talking, but recounting his entire life story to Sam Wilson whilst they drove to Walmart wasn't his idea of fun.
Your apartment still felt homier than his. The walls were covered in photos of you and your friends and family, and shitty little drawings done by your various, younger relatives. Your fridge had postcards and letters hung on it, and there was clutter all over the kitchen counter. The thousands of pillows piled high on your sofa were practically a safe haven. There was a soft scent of vanilla hanging in the air from all your little diffusers, making him smile slightly.
"You got new curtains?" Bucky helplessly pointed to your window.
"How very observant of you." You placed a hand on his arm as you brushed past him. "What's going on, Buck?"
"With my life, or just tonight?"
"I don't think we have time for the first one." You fell onto the sofa. "Sit."
He took a seat beside you; not on you, but close enough so that your knees were touching. "Every time I close my eyes, I remember."
"That wasn't you." You gently reminded him, reaching out to push his hair back. "Not then and not now."
"I still did it though." He held his hands out in front of him. "These are the hands that killed innocent people. This is the brain that felt no empathy or remorse."
"No." You firmly said. "Those are the hands that fought in Wakanda, for the good fight. This is the brain that comes up with the worst jokes I've ever heard and regularly forgets to buy toilet roll."
His blue eyes wavered from the floor, capturing your gaze. He suddenly fell back against you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head in your chest. Everybody else went out their way to make him seem like a monster or a saint - but you? You just made him seem like a human. There wasn't a single perfect one of those. Steve Rogers probably came close, but he was a fucking terrible driver.
"I..." Bucky trailed off. He knew what he wanted to say. Just didn't have the courage to verbalise it. "I appreciate you."
"I know." You murmured, carding a hand through his hair.
Bucky had gone to therapy. He'd taken up exercise (and boxercise and jazzercise) and yoga. He'd tried those stupid fucking cleansing smoothies that his neighbour had sold him - at the time, he had yet been introduced to the idea of multilevel marketing schemes - and gone to meditation classes. None of it worked. Not for a single second.
Then you came in the picture, and he began to see colour etched into the edges of an otherwise black and white world. Where there had been nightmares and flashbacks, he'd found a peaceful night's sleep and pleasant dreams (normally of you, truth be told). The simplicity of it was what made it so complex - because he didn't understand it. Couldn't get his head around the fact that you actually, genuinely wanted to help him.
And he knew it wasn't just your touch or the softness of your skin against his. He'd tried it - sleeping with strangers and staying around the morning after to cuddle. Anything to find human contact with the emotion and the commitment; the very two components that were the secret ingredients to the two of you working so fucking nicely.
"Thank you." Bucky murmured.
"For what?"
"For just..." He glanced up at you, blue eyes holding an emotion you couldn't quite place, "treating me like everyone else. Like a normal person."
"You are a normal person." You softly smiled. "Maybe with a little more baggage, but to the right person, that won't matter."
"Does it matter to you?"
"That's a trap." You thinned your eyes at him. "But no, it doesn't."
He tightened his grip on you, the fear and anxiety draining from his soul. He knew now more than ever that the comfort didn't come from the way he was being held, or the way he was being spoken to. It was who was holding him, and who was speaking to him. You came out on top, every time.
That was why it worked.
It was you. And there was nothing he could do about it.
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farmhandler · 4 years
Text
My Everything
Rated: T
Pairing: Shifty/Richie from “Rockababy”
Word Count: 3k~
Summary: Shifty wants to know why Richie likes taking photos of him so much, and he gets his answer--and much more.
A/N: So this comic by the amazing human being @c2ndy2c1d is just really special. And then I wrote a fic because somebody had to, so please read the comic!! I was so charmed by all the characters, and I cannot resist this kind of nerd/jock/coolkid dynamic so here we are. I got permission to write this, so I hope I don’t butcher their characterizations! I tried to keep my interpretations as true to the comic as I could. Enjoy <3
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“How long do I gotta sit like this?”
“Just a minute!” Richie says. It’s the same thing he said ten minutes ago, and then five minutes before that. He adjusts his camera lens and then poses again, taking another several photos for god knows what reason. “Just don’t move. I need to get the right shot…”
Shifty doesn’t move as promised, but his tail gives the table beside him a solid thwap to show Richie just how thin his patience is starting to run.
“Why do you want these photos anyway? You’ve taken like—thousands already, I swear.” 
“This is the first time I’ve gotten photos with your tail entirely intact.” He snaps another photo. Shifty lets out an explosive sigh and turns his head to give his neck a break. He’s lying on his stomach, ass up in the air, posed to give Richie ‘every valuable angle’ to get all the photos he needs for his research.
Research, research. It’s always about that damn research of his. He’s always makin’ Shifty turn this way and that, exposing every part of himself to Richie’s camera. Shifty can feel his face starting to turn pink, and without a doubt he knows the rest of his skin is sure to follow soon. It’s easier when he’s a human and there’s only so many places that can turn colors.
“I was hoping I could find a remedy to make your tail grow back faster,” Richie says forlornly, lowering his camera. “I’ve still got a lot of work to do.”
“Hey, you’re doing great,” Shifty says. He sits up, ignoring the look on Richie’s face and lifts one leg to his chest to give his arm something to lean on. “You helped make that medicine that took my pain away. That was pretty good.”
“Yeah,” Richie agrees reluctantly, staring down at his camera as if a medical marvel isn’t comparable to fixing Shifty’s tail—which was gonna grow back anyway. “But I wanted to figure this one out. I was so close…”
Shifty shrugs. “You’ve got time. Why worry about one little thing?”
“It’s not little,” Richie says, looking up at him. Even through his huge, nerdy glasses, his eyes burn with a passion that always leaves Shifty feeling strangely breathless. “I want to help you, any way I can.”
“So you’ve said,” Shifty says, off-hand, like his body isn’t changing colors. Richie’s gaze doesn’t shift, and Shifty keeps his eyes down at his feet, ‘cause otherwise he’ll never get the color to go away. “Why do you care so much about taking photos of me anyway? I mean—” While Richie stares at him, Shifty wrestles with his words, suddenly finding it hard to articulate something that’s been running through his mind since this whole thing with Richie started.
“What is it?”
“You’re always taking all these pictures because you think the way I look is—”
“—fascinating,” Richie finishes for him.
“Uh huh. Right, fascinating.” Shifty looks around for the pack of smokes Richie keeps for him and finds it on the shelf behind him. He lights it, once again ignoring Richie’s sharp look. No smoking inside, he’s always saying, but Shifty’s been dying for one for hours, and the rooms got great ventilation. “But let’s be real for a minute—don’t you prefer it when I look human?”
It’s not insecurity that makes Shifty ask the question. Well, not completely. Sure, he sometimes feels insecure about being so different from everyone, but he doesn’t wish he was a human.  Hell no—they’re fragile as hell.
Richie blinks at him. “Why would I want that?”
“Well—” Shifty pauses; stares down at his hand and starts the shift, lifting human fingers for Richie to see. “I don’t know, don’t you like it more? I look like you.”
“But you’re not like me,” Richie points out. Shifty shifts uncomfortably, weighing Richie’s words. The way he says it—it shouldn’t hurt, but it unexpectedly does.
Something in Shifty’s face must give him away, because in the next moment, Richie steps forward, his eyes wide. “And that’s a good thing! You’re not like me, you’re like you. And sure, the Shifty I knew at school and around town is a handsome guy, but I also really like the real you.” At Shifty’s continued silence, he continues. “Would you prefer it if I looked like you?”
“Well, no,” Shifty admits. “You’re a human.”
“Exactly. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Richie walks up to him, even closer now, those damn chocolate brown eyes boring into Shifty and makin’ him turn fucking pink. He can feel it happening because it always does around this guy; he’s the only one that can do this to him as often as he does, and the nerd has the gall to act like he has no idea what he’s doing.
He lifts his hands and cups the sides of Shifty’s face, the warmth of his hands seeping into his skin. The way Richie is looking at him—it’s more observational. Maybe he’d even describe it as clinical. Almost like business as usual, with Richie ignoring his personal space and putting his warm hands all over Shifty, only this time, with the topic of their conversation at hand, Shifty can’t take another second of this one-sided embarrassment.
He shifts, his body morphing and skin swirling until he’s almost entirely human. By the time he’s got his human face on, Richie has realized exactly what kind of position they’re really in. With his eyes still stuck on his, Shifty feels a vicious sense of satisfaction when Richie’s cheeks start to color.
“I—you—”
Shifty lifts his hand up over the back of Richie’s hand—the one that’s still hovering by his face uncertainly. “What was that you were saying about me being handsome?”
Richie’s glasses slip down his nose. He flicks his eyes down, and then the color in his cheeks darkens.
Do I have something on my face? Shifty wonders.
“You’re naked,” Richie squeaks. His hands snap to his face so fast that he basically slaps himself and ends up stumbling back, still trying to cover his eyes from Shifty’s naked form.
Huh, he thinks, looking down at himself. Forgot I was wearing real clothes before.
“Come on, sci-fi, it’s not like you’ve never seen me naked before. I’m naked all the time, in a way.”
“Yeah, but—” Richie turns and peeks out from between his fingers, then whips around again. “That’s different! You’re usually wearing clothes why aren’t you wearing clothes now.”
“They’re usually such a pain that I always morph ‘em, but today I decided, why not try wearing some?” He scratches his chin. “Then I forgot about ‘em.”
Seeing Richie so flustered by his human self when he doesn’t seem to give a damn about a naked alien makes him feel…annoyed isn’t the right world.
“Hey,” Shifty says, stalking up to Richie with his cigarette still in hand. He takes a drag and slides up behind him, wrapping one arm around his waist. Richie jolts with a gasp; Shifty does what he does best and shifts, letting Richie feel the way his body changes, morphing back into his alien self. “You don’t think this part of me is handsome?”
“I’m not answering that question,” Richie says. His ears are red. Shifty feels the oddest urge to bite them.
“Oh, so human me is hot, but not real me.”
“I’m not—you’re not—that’s not what I’m saying!” Richie turns around, fixes his warm eyes on Shifty, and points an accusatory finger at him. “I have to remain impartial. It’s bad enough that you’re all around me at home, being…the way you are—”
Shifty takes a drag. “The way I am?”
“Like that! Just like that. Handsome, cool, mysterious,” Richie starts ticking things off his fingers, to Shifty’s disbelief. “I mean, does smoking even do anything to you? What do your lungs look like?”
“I thought you hated all that stuff?” Shifty asks, ignoring the question.
“Well—” Richie’s flush still hasn’t dissipated. He takes off his glasses and starts cleaning them. “Even I can acknowledge that from an objective standpoint, you’re attractive.”
“You think I’m hot?” Shifty says, meaning it as a tease, but it comes out like a genuine question. Richie looks up at him, all intense as usual, and something in his face shifts.
“Yes,” he admits, face flushed and looking a little shaky on his feet. But his eyes—there’s that glitter; the glamor of intrigue that he always directs at Shifty and anything worth a dime in his mind. “I do.”
Shifty goes to take another drag of his cigarette—he isn’t sure what to say—but his damn hand is shaking and he’s reached the butt end, so he lets his hand fall and stares up at the ceiling instead. “Huh,” he says. “Well, uhm, thanks.”
Richie doesn’t reply; instead, he walks up to Shifty and takes the cigarette butt from his hand and tosses it in the nearby trashcan. He has to reach over to di it, and their fingers brush; it feels electric. Shifty inhales, his heart pounding, and chances a look at Richie.
He’s now staring at him with such an intense look that Shifty wants to laugh. But man—those eyes. Shifty would never say it out loud, but he loves the color of Richie’s eyes. He likes the way he looks at him when he’s taking photos, or when he’s sleepy, or when he’s found something new and exciting to fixate on.
Richie’s hand slides over his. He leans forward, and Shifty leans back on instinct, bracing himself against the desk behind him. He’s so close that Shifty can practically smell the aftershave he uses, even though he’s barely grown a single hair on his chin—
“Richard, dinner’s almost ready!” Richard’s mom calls from the landing leading to Richie’s mini laboratory set up in their basement, cutting straight through the tension and demolishing it.
They separate lightning fast. Shifty morphs into a human (with clothes) on instinct, and Richie’s looking down at the table, his face red.
“Richie? Carrot?” She’ll cycle through all the petnames she can think of if he doesn’t answer soon. “You down there?”
“I’m here!” Richie calls. He glances at Shifty, face full of an unnamed emotion. “I’ll be up soon!”
Once her footsteps fade, he sighs and drags his fingers through his hair. Without his glasses on his face, and with his hair slicked back— Shifty wishes he had something to put in his mouth, keep him from saying something he might regret.
“We had better get up there,” he says lamely, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Before the food gets cold.”
“Yeah, we should…do that.”
They’re quiet for a few minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts, reluctant to leave this space. Richie’s mom never comes down there, so it’s practically theirs: the two of them. Shifty is still thinking about Richie’s hand on top of his. Humans run so hot, and Richie’s like a furnace running in the high heat of summer.
Goddamn it, he thinks, grinding his teeth. He feels unexpectedly angry, for reasons he can’t explain.
He turns and starts walking towards the stairs, and that’s when he feels Richie take hold of his arm.
“Wait!” Richie cries, stopping him short. “Shifty, wait.”
“What is it, Richie?” he says, without turning. “I’ve got my eyes on your mom’s monthly meatloaf—”
Before he has a chance to say more, Richie grabs him by the labels and yanks him forward, straight onto his mouth. It’s not graceful by any means—Richie’s glasses nearly poke Shifty in the eye, and the angle’s all wrong, but it’s good. Hell, better than good, it’s great.
It’s chase, with no tongue, but Richie pulls away to adjust the angle and nearly trips backwards over his own damn feet, so Shifty ends up being the one to wrap his arms around Richie’s waist and pull him in for another kiss. And another. And then maybe a few more after that, until Richie has his face in his hands again and—god, his mouth is so soft, and his hands are so warm. Shifty could just melt in him. He’s just glad he’s not shifted, ‘cause otherwise he’d be pink up to his eyeballs. Plus, it’s easier to kiss Richie like this.
The series of kisses lasts probably only a minute or so, but it feels like forever. And when they pull away, hell, Shifty’s really glad he’s not shifted, because the look Richie is directing at him could make fireworks light up.
“That was one helluva kiss, Richie,” Shifty manages.
“Your skin,” Richie replies, brushing his thumb across Shifty’s cheek. For a second he’s worried he’s shifted back, or worse—this form now comes in the same shade of pink, too, but when he looks down at himself he can see that speckles of his scales have crept into his skin. They’re probably on his face, just under his eyes.
“Guess I just lost a bit of control for a sec,” Shifty admits, rubbing the back of his neck. Richie’s eyes widen, the look on his face is the same look he gets when he’s filing away important information for later. “Jesus, Richie, not that I’m complaining, but…what was that for?”
“I wanted…well I—I wanted to do that. Kiss you, I mean, even though I’ve never done it before, so it was probably bad—”
Shifty opens his mouth to interrupt and say that it wasn’t, but Richie continues quickly, the flush on his face down to his neck now. Maybe humans can turn completely pink when pressed.
“But I also wanted to say that I’m sorry. Shifty, if I’ve ever made you feel like you’re just a specimen or—or a lab experiment, then that’s not right. You’re more than that.” He takes Shifty’s hand and squeezes, eyes locked on his. “You’re a kind and intelligent and amazing friend, and you’re so beautiful. No matter what form you take.”
Shifty ducks his head. Praise isn’t really his thing; he doesn’t like being the center of that kind of attention, but on the other hand (and literally, he’s holding his hand), Richie has become an important part of his life he’d rather not do without. He likes having him around, even if it’s for his ‘research’.
“Hell,” he says, not sure what else to say. Richie gives Shifty’s hand another squeeze, and the place where they’re touching tingles. Shifty’s heart is still beating fast, and the words he’s been thinking about just slip out of his mouth. “You saying you wanna go steady, or what?”
It’s almost phrased like a joke, and for a minute Shifty wants to take it back, because how is that anyway to ask somebody out? There’s no way Richie would take that and go with it, but when he looks at his face, Richie’s mouth opens, and then his eyes light up.
“Are you seriously asking me?” he asks, and adds hastily after a long pause, “because the answer would be yes. I would. Very much so. If, um, kissing you wasn’t obvious enough.”
“I’m seriously askin’,” Shifty says, then realizes that while Richie gave him a nice little speech, he hasn’t really returned the favor. “You’re a nerd, Richie. There’s no gettin’ around that.”
“Hey—”
“But,” Shifty continues, raising a hand. “That’s how I like you. You’re wicked smart, and you get me, maybe more than anybody else around here. You’re one of my best friends, aside from Buttons, and when you’re in your element you’re pretty damn cool.”
A smile slowly splits across Richie’s face, until he’s grinning from ear to hear. That hand that’s still holding onto Shifty’s tugs him forward. For a second Shifty thinks he might try to kiss him again, but maybe he used up all his confidence when he did it the first time, because all he does is hold his hand and smile.  
Fuck. Shifty clears his throat. “So we gonna eat, or stand here all night?” Not that he would mind.
“Oh! Yeah, my mom’s probably waiting for us. Come on.” Richie pulls him towards the stairs and Shifty goes without protest. They’re still holding hands, and when they reach the ground floor it isn’t until Richie’s mom finds them that he finally let’s go.
“Honey, I’ve been waiting for ages. What were you two doing down there?” She takes in their appearance and the flushed look on Richie’s face. “Carrot, your face is so red. Are you feeling all right?”
Despite the completely innocuous question, Richie’s face makes a complicated expression and he flounders for a response. “Ah— we— I mean I— "
“Science,” Shifty answers smoothly, flinging his arm around Richie’s shoulders. “You know how it is.”
Richie’s mom looks at them, her eyes flicking between the two, and then she claps her hands together. “Oh, don’t I ever! Well, enough science for the night. Let’s eat!”
“Very smooth,” Shifty says to Richie after she’s gone ahead. Richie frowns at him.
“You’re one to talk.” He raises an eyebrow. “’Science?’”
Shifty shrugs. Richie’s frown softens into a soft smile, and before he can metaphorically attack Shifty with his warm eyes, he steals a kiss from Richie’s half-open mouth, grinning when he sputters at him indignantly.
“Come on, sci-fi, meatloaf’s waiting,” he says, letting his hand linger at his lower back, just a while longer.
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poisonousquinzel · 3 years
Note
https://lady-ha-ha.tumblr.com/post/160715688748/is-that-comic-before-the-reboot-and-which-one-is
(I have not read this comic) Is this true? (if so, ivy deserves someone better).
Post
Kay, first off both of those people are Jarley shippers so take everything they say with a grain of salt and then some, cause no. that part isn't about how much Harley loves Joker and will always choose him over Ivy. Literally you can tell ops don't know what they're talking about cause her whole thing in those issues is going to kill him for years of graphic abuse but ultimately falls back with him once she’s face to face with him.
Like wow, congrats on missing the fucking point again but not surprised from people who ship her with The Fucking Joker.
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also, ffs, can anyone please have basic comprehension skills and realize that Harley and Ivy are both fucked up sometimes because they’ve got issues and that’s not comparable to Joker’s long ass history of graphic and disgusting abuse.
Harley and Ivy are villains, they're not a wholesome cookie cutter, White Picket Fence, super vanilla ship with no bad moments. They're both bad guys with a fuck ton of trauma that they both have to work through, and have done so at this point. 
Gotham City Sirens was published between 2009 - 2011, Harley and Ivy weren't blatantly romantic at this point nor had they had anywhere near the development that they’ve had at this point.
Like don’t go into Harlivy content expecting them to be the perfect wlw rep with no flaws during their arcs from BTAS to current time cause that’s just not realistic. They’re both deeply flawed people who’ve got a fuck ton of trauma that they need to (and have) worked through. 
I have talked about the BTAS issues here and this post is good at explaining them too. 
X
X
Harlivy is not and has never been a purely wholesome, goody-goody ship. They’re messy, they have issues, and they have bad moments sometimes, but they both worked through their seperate trauma and came out stronger and better because at the end of the day, they care about each other. 
Harlivy has messy, toxic moments sometimes, but they’re not, and have never been, abusive. There’s a difference between unhealthy moments and a ship being abusive. 
That’s completely different to how Joker acts Constantly, because he does not care that his actions towards Harley are abusive, because he doesn’t give a shit about her. 
He enjoys hurting her. He enjoys ruining her. 
Jarley has always been intended to be written and shown as a domestically abusive relationship.
This is also the first instance where it's directly referenced that there's something more than platonic between her and Ivy, other than the reference in Batgirl Adventures. 
Gotham City Sirens is also not connected to any verses.
This didn’t happen in the timeline we’re in rn with Harley Quinn (2014)/(2016)/(2021).
Comic timelines and shit are stupid and make everything more confusing and awful and I hate it sdfjdksksdkjsd
-
this is gonna be a long post since ops wanna just cut and paste random bits of the issues like jarley stans always do (cause jarley never has good moments that aren’t entirely surrounded by him abusing her) I’m going to show them in full context. *added a keep reading cause it is a lot
(All panels shown are from #15, #18, #19, #20, #21, #23, #24, #25)
So, Harley's entire thing at this point in the GCS comic in that she's been triggered by flashbacks of Joker's abuse and she breaks into Arkham with the intent to kill him.
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The entire thing in these issues is showing her smarts and how she knows people's trump cards to get under their skin so she can break into Arkham. 
She’s trained to identify these things in people and she's fucking good at pushing people's buttons. 
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this is also just one of my fav Harley covers so I wanted to show it jsdjksdks
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“Trump cards. Everyone has one. Places where the armor we build around ourselves is weakest.” 
She’s right. And it’s now shown that Harley’s willing to use those below the belt trump cards if she has to.  
And frankly, I’d say this is worse than what she says to Ivy. And I’m not surprised she did it. She didn’t want to, she tried to get him to just open the door - 
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“Don’t make me do this, Aaron. There are some secrets that should stay hidden. Things you should never learn about your own life.” 
but she’s also entirely fueled by rage and the desire to kill Joker. She came here for a reason and she’s not leaving until she’s done it.
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“I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories -”
“Hello, Harley. I’ve missed you.” 
“Memories. That’s all I have left. The past is gone and all I have is... memories. 
Memories.
Memory. 
Gone.
I guess I too have a trump card.”
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“Oh, Ivy. You know exactly what my answer is going to be. But you’re hoping you’re wrong, aren’t you?”
She’s also right about this, they already mentioned this in #18.
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“How did I become the bad guy?”
“You’re the one choosing a man over her girls.”
“Are you kidding me? You would never say that to Harley, and we both know she’d dumb us in a flat second if Joker called her.”
“Hey! That’s not fair-- Actually, that’s probably true.”
“The difference is, she can’t help it. You can. And she’s working on it. You’re not working on it.” 
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“Too easy, Ivy. Too easy. I know your weak spots. Now I just need to push.”
This is exactly what she’s been doing since the starting point of this post. She’s still in that mindset and she knows she can’t beat her on a regular battle field. Neither of them can. 
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“Like I said-- You beat me in any level playing field. But I don’t fight on those fields.” 
Harley’s biggest strength as a villain is her ability to completely mentally stall her opponents and learn their weak spots. She wouldn’t win against the majority of the Big Bads if she didn’t fight on a different field than they are. 
so, like yeah, out of context what she says to Ivy seems awful and completely screwed up, and it is, but it’s also built up really well and it’s completely in character for her at this point in her fall during these issues. 
Is what she did fucked? absolutely. It’s not painted that it’s not. 
Ivy Literally Goes To Kill Her For It.
In the end of this all three of them are recaptured by Catwoman and Batman and that’s where we’re starting off at again. 
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“Oh, Harley.
The only human I’ve ever called a friend.
To what lengths will I go? Where are my own limits? She is the Strangler fig. And I am the tree, choking underneath. 
Without me, she could never grow. 
But without her, I would fall if I grew too tall.” 
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“Will she ever stand by herself? 
Will she ever be ready? 
She is in throes of madness. She sees him, her brain flooding with adrenaline, it makes her excited, nervous, then the feelings start to fade, and she needs more. And more. 
She sees it as passion. She sees it as love. 
But it’s not. It’s addiction. And she’s relapsing.” 
Ivy is well aware of the nature of their relationship. She’s not stupid and she’s been shown already to know that it’s something that takes time. It’s not a one off break up and it’s over. That’s not how abusve relationships work. 
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What do I do?
I could use my pheromones to alter her brain chemistry.
I could leave her behind abandoning her to the wilds of her own mind.
I could kill her right now.
Show her how red Nature can be.
There's one other option.
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It would require patience.
Even love.
Maybe I'm more human than I want to admit.
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"You have one chance to answer this."
I know, if she agrees, she'll be doing it for revenge. For him.
"She put us behind bars."
But maybe if I get away from this place, if I give her something else to think about. Maybe she can break the cycle. But it has to be her choice.
"I'm going to kill her. Come with me."
So yeah, it’s definitely not a just “Harley hurts her and runs off with Joker and it’s just a plain ol’ her choosing him over everyone and that’s that.” 
Jarley shippers love to just reduce all her scenes and arcs down to their “epic love” and shit, but that’s taking away literally everything about her and reducing it down to the 3 panels that they’re “cute” in. Her arc in this part is fucking heartbreaking to read.
And Ivy damn well knows what’s going on with her. She’s smart and she’s the one that’s been there throughout all of this. She found her in the park after he shot her out of a rocket. 
And she knows it’ll take time for Harley to get over and through his manipulation, that’s just how it works with abusive relationships. 
But she’s also not forgiving at first, she’s mad and rightfully so, until she sees the sate of Harley’s cell and realizes how bad her addiction is at that time.
A lot of the unhealthy moments on Harley’s side when it comes to them are directly caused from the effects of being in an abusive relationship with Joker. Because she’s always in this area of her journey in those moments. She’s never fully over him or emancipated. 
And that’s realistic. It’s hard sometimes to be friends with someone who’s in abusive relationships like theirs, having to watch them return to that person time and time again and it’s frustrating after a while. 
I know from personal experience, it’s really hard to watch someone you care about go back or forgive someone that continues to hurt them. 
But abuse victims desperately need a support system outside of their abuser. It’s a crucial part of being able to escape, because when they do try to get out they need someone there or they’ll literally have no where to go but back into their abuser’s arms.
It’s heartbreaking and it’s really rough for everyone effected, but that’s just how it is most of the time. Especially in their case, as they’re not just regular folk dealing with this. 
If she doesn’t have Ivy, Harley has no one else to go to but Joker, on more than just an emotional level. 
She’s lost her job. Her income. Her home. Her livelihood. Her everything.
Most of the time she has no other choice but to return to a life of crime after she’s released from Arkham because she can’t get a job, she’s a notorious criminal and she’s got a lot of issues that don’t just disappear with a bit of therapy. 
She has no other choice but to return to Joker because the other alternative is the streets. At least she knows what to expect with him. 
And that’s not even getting into the manipulation, gaslighting and degrading abuse that he drills into her constantly. 
He’s made her believe she’s not anything without him. That she’s not smart or useful or anything. 
And that’s why it’s so damn important for her to have a support system and why he’s so damn against Ivy. 
Because Ivy is the good voice on her shoulder telling her he’s wrong and that she doesn’t deserve that. 
-
And on Ivy’s side, she’s aware she gets very near cutting off all parts of her humanity. 
She’s a plant goddess, she’s insanely powerful and she feels everything through the green. Frankly, she’s not even on the same playing field as these villains. She’s significanty more powerful than Harley and Joker. 
Her connection to Harley is what keeps her humanity in tack, because despite everything, she does care about her. She was the first person she let in, the first person Ivy called a friend. 
The person that was able to get through to her in #14/#15 when she was losing herself. The one that was able to get through to her that the dude was manipulating her. 
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“Ivy, I know you think you love this guy... but you’re just gonna end up strapped to his rocket!”
She had to knock her out for the dude to trust her / not attack them anymore. But Harley got through to her by mentioning how they first met in the park when she saved her after Joker shot her off in a rocket.
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And Ivy is understandable turned off towards humans considering her origin and trauma around that. 
She’s got a lot of trust issues.
But both of them work through their seperate traumas over the years because their affection for each other is stronger than the issues their trauma has given them.
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and also, sometimes, they just have shit writers. that’s an issue overall in comic fandoms. Some writers just fucking suck at getting any of the characters right, let alone LGBT characters, who’re notoriously treated like garbage by DC. 
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stxleslyds · 3 years
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I have read your thought about the Batfamily, now I really want to know your thought about the one who started it, the Batman himself. We can't ignore the fact that Bruce is abusing his children, but there's also some moments where he's being a good father to them. But some of his act doesn't make sense.
He's beating his children, then calling them his son after. He act like a mad man after Damian's death (yeah, they did Jason dirty in here), feeling sorrow and desperately wanting to ressurect him, but then neglecting him continously in the future. I didn't know much about Cass, Bruce seems to always be a good father to her. But her fans once pointed that Bruce (or DC) is too hard on her to not killing/too soft on the others, because the other batkids has killed some villains while under Batman and still got to continue putting on their costumes.
What is exactly Bruce character? How is his relationship with every one of his children?
I feel like Batman can't be in a good relationship with one of his children without destroying his relationship with the other. I always love parents and children relationship in comics, but with batfamily sometimes it just so 'fanon-y' and some are hurtful.
I stopped reading Batman book for a long time. And come back reading that wedding and city of bane arc, because I want to know how they killed Alfred. And honestly those run are terrible. The issue basically just a batcat fanservice, with the worst Batman and Catwoman characterization ever. The batkids didn't even got many appearance and treated awfully as if they are just extras, even if they all are capable and have connection with Alfred.
Hey there Anon!
My thoughts on Batman and Bruce have changed over the last few years, he wasn’t the character that introduced me to DC comics but what I got to read from him at the time seemed good. As time went by, I started to feel like the whole concept of Batman was overrated and he kinda tired me in entertainment such as movies and all that. He never truly was a character that I actually liked so by the time that I read Under the Red Hood I knew that I liked Dick and Jason better than Bruce.
Batman was interesting but I was completely indifferent about Bruce. That whole thing changed around the time that the New 52 was sort of ending, there I started to heavily dislike Bruce and then that turned into pure hate. Now, I am just tired of the guy and every time that he appears in Dick or Jason content my day is ruined.
I hate that DC has been writing Bruce as an abusive and manipulative person and father to his “kids”, he has done a lot of wrong to them in comic history but all went to shit (in current comics) when Bruce tried to manipulate Jason into reliving the day that he died and his resurrection in Batman and Robin vol2. #20 and when he beat Dick and manipulated him into becoming a spy after telling him that he had told everyone that he was dead in Nightwing vol.3 #30.
Bruce was a horrible human being in the pre-New 52 timeline too sometimes, mostly towards Dick but in a way, it felt like Dick was able time and time again to get away from him a little bit. Now none of his kids are given the opportunity to turn their backs on Bruce, they are kept in his surroundings no matter how abusive he becomes towards them.
My biggest problem with Bruce’s abusiveness is the fact that the writers never treat it like he acts in an abusive way, they never make him apologize or have an internal discussion where he realises that he was in the wrong. “Bruce is a horrible person to his sons but it doesn’t matter because he is right and he is Batman so that’s that”, that’s the message that I feel DC is selling us. Bruce never receives punishment or is called out for his behaviour, Dick was never able to tell Bruce that what he did to him was unforgivable, he never got the chance to explain to anyone that he didn’t play dead, and when he came back from Spyral he took all the shit from his “family” himself.
Sometimes DC does something even worse, they try to hide Bruce’s neglect with things that never happened like they did with the Ric thing in Dick’s case. Dick was passed around from villain to villain when he was most vulnerable and at the end of it all DC had the guts to say that Batman had been watching over Dick all the time. Like, why lie in such a blatant way? Does Bruce enjoy watching his son suffer from a far or was he too much of a coward to tell Dick that he was a shit father, got stuck in a hole and then decided to play “Cat and Bat” with Selina instead of caring for any of his children?
The situation with Damian’s death and resurrection was a whole thing that was meant to prove that Bruce loved Damian and considered him his son. But in their effort to make Bruce look like a good father to Damian they completely destroyed his relationship with his other kids and that was also the start of Bruce referring to Damian as his ONLY son. And like you said after Damian was resurrected Bruce ended up neglecting him afterwards which ultimately led Damian to run away.
His relationship with Cass and Duke is something that I cannot explore because I am not into those characters and they are involved in books that I am not interested in. So I cannot say anything about that.
With Tim it’s complicated because I feel like his relationship with him was never actually father/son it was more like mentor/mentee and that seemed to work better for them, ever since they started the whole family thing Bruce started to act a little bit too rough towards Tim and that ended with Bruce punching Tim during the “City of Bane” arc. Bruce never apologised or was shown realising his mistake, but DC made sure to explain that Bruce was going through a rough time so that’s why he did it. It was pure rubbish and I dislike it a lot.
I answered an ask a while ago about how I thought Dick and Jason could become family the way that DC treats the “Batfamily” within comics and I came up with the idea of the “Dickfamily” because I felt like DC made a big mistake the moment they revolved the Bat family around Bruce and not Dick. Bruce is a character that is known for being lonely and for being surrounded by darkness that he only manages to escape through the light of Robin (Dick Grayson because he was the first), he was always depicted as someone who is hard to work with and considers his teammates only co-workers and not friends. He is a difficult person to connect with, so why on earth did DC come up with a family surrounding that man? (I actually know the answer to that question and it is: money, DC did it to sell more comics under the Batman name but we are going to forget about that here, let me be petty).
Why would DC make it all about a man that doesn’t connect or goes out of his way to say that he “works alone” when Dick Grayson is standing right there? DC hates that they created a character like Dick because he is just better than Bruce at everything, he just is, he is better family to Alfred, Jason, Tim and Damian, he was even written as a better father to Damian than Bruce ever was!
Bruce is just not a people person or a person that forms strong bonds with people. And that makes the whole “Batfamily” concept suffer and come off as something forced that doesn’t actually work.
Tom King was one of the writers that tried to kill the concept of the “Batfamily” with Bruce and Selina becoming a couple and by continuously saying that Selina was who was the most important person in Bruce’s life and the one that made him a better person. All Tom King did with that is make fans and non-fans of the “Batfamily” feel rage. Like, I might not like the “Batfamily” but there is no way that Selina comes first to Alfred, Dick or Damian, there is just no way and if that were actually true then that’s boring.
All the writers that have pushed the “Batfamily” concept (try) do it in a way that makes it look grand and of actual essence but without putting any work on it, if you ask me the “Batfamily” (if there has to be one) should only include Bruce, Alfred (he do be dead though), Dick, Tim, Cass and Damian (I suppose Duke too, I don’t know much about him). The “Batfamily” has to be small because that way you can actually build relationships and make them matter. Having Kate, Steph, Jason and so many others involved in a concept that was made to fit around Bruce looks stupid! Bruce has had almost zero connection to Kate and Steph in the last ten years and Bruce’s “relationship” with Jason is a complete joke!
Bruce is just not the character that is meant to be surrounded by too much people, and he is not a good person towards his family so the whole ass concept should be thrown to the trash and finally let it die. But money is important and if there is something that DC will never stop doing, is milking Batman for content that can be (sometimes) pretty basic.
All in all, I think Bruce sucks and that his “kids” shouldn’t be dragged back to him ever again or at least for a long while. All of them would actually benefit from not being involved with anything relating to Batman. Dick could benefit from Bruce and other Bat-related characters staying away from him and letting him live his life in Bludhaven. And Jason? My sweet Chonky? He would be in such a better place if Bruce disappeared from his life, imagine the actually good books we would have if Jason was free to act the way he was meant to do as the Red Hood…
(We saw a little bit of that in the back up story of Detective Comics by Rosenberg, Batman is still involved but he and Jason are definitely not on the same side of the story! So excited for Task Force Z!)
I don’t know If al that I just said answers your question but I hope you have a fantastic week Anon!
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v3nusaphr0d1t3 · 3 years
Text
i’m in love with a stripper
crossposted on ao3: <3 rating: mature warnings: strip club environment, suggestive themes (no actual smut tho) gender neutral stripper!reader x hawks. afab implied but can be read either way.
your job was to look good, feel bad, and entertain. in the most literal sense.
life as an ‘exotic dancer’ wasn’t nearly as glamorous as movies and shit made it out to be. your body ached constantly, you had nearly fought about 4 people in the past two weeks, and you came home in the morning smelling like alcohol and sweat and some random cologne. the pay wasn’t amazing on its own, so you had to rut yourself against old men to pay your rent.
and yet, it was addicting in a way you couldn’t exactly explain. you had wanted to work in the entertainment industry since you were little, a star up on the big screen. this was sort-of similar. you had eyes on you at all times, and it was your job to put on a great show. but instead of red-carpets it was party favors and gross back-room carpeting. 
it was good workout, and you knew you looked good enough to taste, so that was always a plus. tonight, you were all dolled up, one of your more femme looks. your shorts were riding low on your hips, yet still stopped so high on your legs that it could be considered more of a belt than a pair of shorts. your thong straps framed your hips, bright red in comparison to the blue jean shorts. you had a red bikini top on, and a crop top that was yet again just another shred of fabric framing it. your shoes were red and tall enough to make you feel like you were on top of the world. 
you had gotten used to the sashay and drama of all the bullshit presentation, perfected your sultry stare, and polished your pole skills. yes, you could use work. but so could everyone, it was an art that you were still constantly trying to learn more about. 
so as you walked your way out on stage on a busy friday night, you could tell that tonight would be a good tip night. first off, there was MUCH more security than normal, which meant that someone important was probably in attendance for some kind of ‘special night’. they got bachelor parties and birthday parties all the time, but usually they weren’t this… guarded?
 it was strange, but you instead focused on feelings the rhythm in your bones as you strutted your way up to the pole, starting to go into one of your choreographed routines that you knew like the back of your hand. though you supposed you could throw in some more risky moves, for whoever was currently paying for your console gaming subscription. being in the air was always exhilarating, but you were always worried about flashing too much. you knew that it would happen eventually, but you would still prefer for it not to.
you spun too fast on your way down and got that wobbling feeling in your stomach as your heels hit the stage a bit too hard to be ‘graceful’. oh well, you thought as you moved to the more floor-based part of your routine. you brought your hands up, running them over your body and pulling at your crop top, pulling it off and throwing it further back on the stage to be retrieved when you were done with your set. 
you made it slow, teasing, swaying your hips to the beat of the song and running your hands back down, under the strings of your thong to snap them against your hips. it was effective, but it was hard not to wince in annoyance. you were too salty to do this shit. it was a lucky thing that you were so good at acting. you slid further onto your knees, back arched as you looked some random guy that was halfway decent and crawled forward. that was something that always racked in tips. it made folks feel engaged with the whole experience. the guy held up a 20 and you stuck it under your thong strap, moving to collect more of the money that had been thrown at you.
you were honest with yourself when you said you loved the attention that this job brought. there were many people out in the crowd that wanted you, that sat in their chair or stood amongst the sweaty crowd with a white-knucked grip and lust in their eyes, and you ate it up. you loved being wanted, it was one of the worlds wonders. 
eventually, you finished your set, hair tousled from flipping it, back of your knees and your hands sore from gripping the pole, but ultimately you felt invigorated. energized. like someone had wound you up like a toy. and now you had to pounce on someone in hopes of attention and the money you needed to buy that new game you had been saving up for. comical.
you could tell a bunch of the dancers were anticipating the party that was in tonight. it was obvious they were important, and important people had money. so the dancers that weren’t on the stage currently were prowling around the VIP area, looking to advertise themselves.
you decided to do the charity work and tend to the rest of the forgotten crowd. you knew from experience that eventually the richer guests would get tired of giving their money away and eventually leave. and the rest of the crowd was just sitting there, so you slipped your way in to the seats that were closer to the stage (shitty stripper etiquette, but some of thesen dancers were fuckin’ shady sometimes) and found some dude who looked wimpy enough to play the whole deity act with. 
you walked your way around the chair, placing your hands on his shoulders and beginning to rub them, your hand making it’s way down his chest as you whispered a greeting in his ear. you used your other hand to run through his hair, plucking the bill in his hand out of his hand and into your g string on your hip with the rest of them. you moved back around the chair and plopped down on his lap, feigning interest and asking him about his day, making him feel special with the whole shebang. you eventually were able to make quiet some money from that guy, surprisingly. and you left him alone and unsatisfied when the lights dimmed between sets. 
now, to find someone else out of sight of the first guy. you were on your way to do that when something caught your eye. a glimmer of gold, no- not metal, someones eyes. you were momentarily mesmerized before you realized that the person attached to those honey irises was staring at you. at you. from the VIP booth. while you were in the middle of the crowd. you were never flustered, so it was new when you felt a heat in your cheeks. 
you quickly put your act back on, throwing him a wink. he made a ‘come here’ motion with his finger, but you gave him a playful grin and a little teasing wave of dismissal. you had no idea what came over you to do that, but you decided to stick with this little ‘hard-to-get’ persona, and you disappeared into the crowd. 
not 10 minutes later you were grinding on some guy through your shorts, just to work that 50 out of his hand. he was one of the assholes that would promise and never give. it was hypocritical for you to think that way, you supposed, but it was your job. either way, you got it from him by nosing up his neck (too much cologne) and giggling in his ear. and he put the bill in your g-string himself. gross.
you slid away from him between sets like you always did, and once again felt the heat of eyes on you. this was different, however. it wasn’t like the usual eyes on you, the gazes you had grown to crave and expect. this was predatory. you were being watched like a hawk. you spun around to find him staring at you again, this time split off from his little friends and instead sitting in a chair further back from the stage. he gave you a certain look and raised his hand, waving a bill in his hand. like bait! that was hotter than it should have been. 
still, decided to make your way over to him, stopping in front of his chair, towering over him in your platform heels as he sat in the chair. he didn’t seem too physically imposing, but his energy was cockier than shit and you could tell he was bulked up. you usually didn’t fuck with these types, but something about him was just magnetic. it was insane. he leaned back in his chair, obviously insinuating that he wanted the same treatment as the others. you instead took a singular finger and raised his chin up to meet his eyes as they ran you up and down. 
and that was when you realized, under the dim lights, that you were a complete and total idiot. you hadn’t even realize that the man in front of you was hawks, number two pro hero and the man too fast for his own good. you tried not to make a face, but you knew he could most definitely see in your eyes the minute you put the puzzle pieces together. what the fuck was he doing in a place like this?
“what the fuck is someone like you doing in a place like this?” you asked, coming out of your mouth before you could really stop yourself. he only chuckled, grinning as you felt his jaw tense against your finger. the main reason you didn’t recognize him is because there was a lack of giant red wings.
“what anyone else is tryin’ to do. have a good time! it’s my friends birthday, i have a life outside work, you know?” his voice was barely heard over the pounding of the music and the bass rattling under your feet. 
“what about your reputation? i’m surprised there isn’t a line to gag on your dick at this point,” you held no filter in speaking to him. you never had it with anyone else, really, and what was so special about him? he was just another dude in the club, so you did what you always did and slid into his lap, pressing your bodies together in all the ways you knew did the best. you watched something flash in his eyes as he bit his lip for a moment. he looked back up to meet your eyes again.
“well, how long did it take you to recognize me? and you’re sober, aren’t you?” hawks brought a sculpted arm up to wrap around your waist, and you slapped it away as you worked your hips against his to the beat. 
“no comment. and no touching, unless you want to pay for that too.”
“i might just have to. what’s your name, gorgeous?” his face was too smug for a man who could buy the building, yet completely in the the eye of the public had a semi hard-on for a stranger in some daisy dukes. 
“i don’t know, what’s yours?” you asked, raising your eyebrow. you didn’t know his real name, no one did. it was a mystery highly speculated about online, not that you checked or anything. 
“fair enough, fair enough. pick one before i blow a couple hundred on getting free roam to touch you.” he said, rolling his hips up to meet yours. this shocked you, catching your breath, and you knew he had noticed by the shit-eating grin he wore. 
you gave him your stripper name. it was sufficient enough to add another layer of mystery, because even though you were in his lap, you wanted to keep up this game of cat and mouse. predator and prey.
the thought of that made you tingle. you told him your rates, and he forked it over quite a fuckin’ bit. you stood up from where you were sat in his lap (thought the loss was more upsetting than you would care to admit). you took his wrist (his hand was big) and started to drag him back to one of the more secluded areas. 
you had to pass the VIP area to do that, and when you did, you heard a shout. it scared the shit out of you for starters, but hawks seemed to recognize the voice. it was coming from a woman with white hair and rabbit ears, currently cheering hawks on.
“fuckin’ get some, dude!” she said, and her voice was strangely familiar as hawks flashed an award-winning grin and a thumbs up. you winked at her and pulled hawks on with you.
you pulled him into a pseudo-room in the back. not cut off by doors, but isolated and split off by room dividers. you pushed him back onto one of the booth-like seats lining the wall.
the music was quieter back here, and it was easier to hear yourself think. the lights were dim and the bass was still thumping through the floor. there was no one back here, just you and him. 
“ ‘kay, so i’m technically not supposed to let you touch me, but you just paid for my groceries and they don’t really check the cameras here. also, you’re cute.” you rambled off, more genuine and clearer now that the music wasn’t so intense in the middle of the madness. and then, catching the beat, you started your ministrations, rolling your hips against his and hearing his breath catch as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 
“so i’ve been told,” he says with a shit-eating grin.
“don’t let it go to your head, princess.” you said, and he didn’t reply, too focused on oogling you.
his hands came up to hold your waist, and he put his effort into moving along with you, and his grinding did not go unnoticed. or unappreciated, for that matter. with his hips at your waist, he raked his thumbs under your thong straps and snaps them against your hips like you had earlier. it earns a breathy chuckle from you as you watched his pupils pin. you pulled back, standing and watching his face sour as his hands were pulled from your waist. but you decided to give him a little show, just ‘cuz you had a case of the hots for him and the way he was looking at you was much appreciated.
you now stood in front of him, towering above him as you toyed with the waistband of your daisy dukes. he simply bit his lip, practically eye-fucking you. it was exhilarating. you enjoyed the lustful gazes from customers, but this was on a different level. you felt truly alive, and yet like you were melting all the same. your insides felt gooey but you kept your perfected expression hard, movements practiced, sex appeal seasoned to flawlessness. and now you unbuttoned your shorts, pulling them down to reveal your bright red thong, hips, legs and torso all one long line. he looked at you like dinner and you were fucking living for it.
you kneeled inbetween his legs, laying your head on one of his thighs in the way you knew drove people crazy.
you heard a small “god damn,” exit his mouth as he looked at you, entranced as you caught his t-shirt on your way up his body with your teeth, pulling it up and dropping it back down, promptly standing up to slide backwards into his lap. you roll your ass where you know it’s appreciated and hear his breathing speed up behind you. you can practically hear his heart pounding to match your own, like a drum to the beat. your body laid down the bass, your eyes were the melody and he was drowning.
and when it was all over, poor guy walked out of the club with his fellow semi-disguised pro-heros with a raging hard on.
and later on, when you were pulling all your money out to count it, you caught a piece of paper rolled up along a $100 bill. it was his number. a pro-hero gave you his number. that was risky, especially in the type of place they were in.
you liked the risk he took. you put his number in your phone. 
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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years
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Starkid Musicals Ranked from Worst to Best
Salutations to you, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.
Welp. I finally did it. I've watched the entire Starkid musical library, and I must say, most of these plays fit my writing style perfectly:
Humor that is cynical yet random
Leaning in with comedy while sprinkling in some well-executed drama
An understanding that any type of story works as long as the cast of varying personalities of characters is dynamic enough to result in some phenomenal chemistry.
This is in almost all of their plays, excelled through fantastic writing and stellar performances driving the overall quality. And it inspired me not only to review each musical, but also ranking them all from worst to best. Or, more accurately, least good to most good. Because even at their "worst," Starkid still provides a funny, enjoyable experience that will keep you laughing with its comedy and your toes tapping with its catchy music. So strap in as I go in-depth into how Starkid proves how they are the masters of humor and melody.
(I'll also provide links to each musical, which is all for free on YouTube, so you can check them out yourselves. Just know that their early work is impossible to enjoy without subtitles, so you might want to have Closed Captions on when watching.)
#12-Holy Musical B@man-Everything about this play makes it seem like it's the weakest to me. The jokes, songs, and characters in Holy Musical B@tman just don't hit as hard as Starkid's other plays. It's still good, but compared to their best, the cracks show a lot more. That is, except for the ending. Not only is there a great speech that shows what makes superheroes so beloved, but "Super Friends" might just be my favorite finale song Starkid has ever put out. Holy Musical B@tman may not be the best, but it's at least worth the time.
#11-Firebringer-This was stupid. Really stupid. Funny as f**k, but still pretty stupid. Although I will give credit to one of the central pairings being LGBTQA+...Even though it makes little to no sense based on the characters' previous interactions. But in fairness, Starkid really sucks at writing good romantic relationships, so at least Firebringer has the benefit of being gay. And as we all know: The gayer, the better. The play is still stupid, though.
#10-Me and My Dick-The world in this musical makes little to no sense. Penises and vaginas are sentient and can communicate with their humans. And yet the penises and vaginas can also talk with each other, form relationships, leave their humans, and reinsert themselves into others--Yeah, it makes no sense...But, DAMN, is it funny! Every joke and innuendo Me and My Dick has about human anatomy works, and I could not stop laughing at each of them. Especially the names that were given to the vaginas, which are just...I mean, I'm laughing just by thinking about them. That should tell you how funny they are. This play might be illogical in every way, but if you turn your brain off and watch it for the humor, you'll definitely be in for something fun.
#9-ANI: A Parody-What's weird about ANI is that its best qualities are also weaknesses. A good chunk of the jokes are hilarious and expertly delivered. The issue is that most of them are about taking potshots at the Star Wars prequels, which might be the laziest jokes to make in a Star Wars parody. Then there's the soundtrack, having several songs that are a bop to listen to. The problem is that ANI suffers from the same issues as Tarzan and Brother Bear: Yes, technically, it is a musical, but it's one where none of the characters sing, and some people in the background do all the singing instead. It's all an odd balancing act of quality content made through questionable choices. ANI is still an entertaining play, but the force isn't as strong with this one.
#8-Black Friday-This might be the least funny play that Starkid has ever put out. Not just because it leans extra hard into drama, which was pretty effective during certain scenes. It's just when there are jokes in Black Friday, they tend to fall flatter more here than they did in other plays. Also, the plot of Black Friday might not be the best one to play straight. The serious moments work best when focusing on the characters and their personal struggles, but through the big bad that's supposed to be threatening? Not so much. Even if it was meant to be funny, well, I wasn't laughing. And believe it or not, I consider that to be the best judge of whether or not something is funny. That being said, while Black Friday isn't the most humorous Starkid musical, it's still pretty good. The characters are excellent, the songs are awesome, and the story is somewhat easy to follow. I would have appreciated a few more laughs, but I can respect these talented people wanting to challenge their strengths.
#7-Starship-This play feels very...Disney. It follows a familiar formula we've seen several times: The main character wants more than what he has in his crappy life, miraculously gets the exact thing he wants, falls in love with a girl in a short amount of time, faces off against a campy/over the top villain, realizes the hand he's been dealt isn't so bad, and in the end, gets what he wants anyway. Starship is still pretty entertaining through its jokes, characters, and songs, but it also feels weird that Starkid leans into these tropes when they would eventually make a much better play by making fun of them. The end result is not bad in the slightest, but it's also nowhere near their best.
#6-A Very Potter Musical-Starkid's first production, and boy, what a start to something wonderful. Every one of their gimmicks and motifs is present in A Very Potter Musical. The use of parody to playfully mock characters and stories they love, making songs that are as funny as they are emotional, and creating characters that work because of their lines and the actors' performances. Oh, and also, it's funny. And it’s not just through a parody angle, like making Cedric be a perfect boy who's always smiling. It's also funny through its jokes that work, even if you ignore the fact that it’s a parody altogether. Case in point, there are these two bits, one involving Voldemort and Beatrix with the other involving Ron and Hermoine, that are written and delivered so well that I was in tears much more than with any other Starkid play. When watching A Very Potter Musical, you'll not only understand how parody works, but you'll also gain an understanding of why Starkid turned out as successful as they did.
#5-The Trail to Oregon-What can I say? I'm a sucker for comedic dysfunctional families. And seeing a family of idiots make their way to Oregon via The Oregon Trail parody? Yeah, that's a win for me. The play may be another family road trip narrative, which some people might get sick of at this point. But because the dynamics and comedic chemistry everyone has with each other are on point, the end result proves that you don't need an original story to tell an entertaining one. Although I will say that out of all of Starkid's productions, The Trail to Oregon has by far the worst ending. Without giving anything away, the play spends way too much time on this one stupid joke that any of the characters could make. Comedy is defined by personalities, as are most things, so making the joke work for anyone is a bad move when this one, in particular, doesn't fit as well for some characters as it would for others. Plus, the finale song "Naked in a Lake" is a really poor choice to cap off this musical. It's catchy, but to me, a finale song should encapsulate everything about the story, characters, and themes. Not paying off a joke that I honestly wouldn't want the payoff for. So while the ending could have used a lot more polish, that doesn't change how The Trail to Oregon is a pretty funny play that I won't mind revisiting when I have the chance.
#4-A Very Potter Sequel-Hey, sometimes a sequel is better than the original. Sure some jokes don't land, and some story beats aren't as impactful as they thought they were (Serious Black's introduction, for example), but there are far more improvements to this play than the last one. The performances are stronger, the jokes are funnier, the music is catchier, and the characters are much more entertaining in this play than in A Very Potter Musical. Especially new additions like Lupin and Lucious Malfoy, who provide great comedy and sublime drama at times. And Umbridge. Sweet Mother of all that is holy, Umbridge. While A Very Potter Sequel never made me laugh to tears as the first play did, twice, Professor Umbridge carries the comedy so well that she surpasses all of that. Plus, on top of it all, this play nails its ending through a bittersweet note that really captures what makes Hogwarts so special to these characters. I always feel like Starkid's plays tend to lose steam during the last few minutes, but A Very Potter Sequel is one of the few instances that it just builds and builds to a perfect ending. A Very Potter Sequel might not always hit the right marks, but the results are just magical when it does get it right.
#3-The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals-This one is pretty clever. The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is one of those stories that manages to be explicitly hilarious yet implicitly disturbing. For instance, people suddenly bursting into perfectly choreographed musical numbers in a world where songs are exclusively diegetic is pretty funny (especially through the characters' reactions to it). However, knowing what happens to these people and why they sing and dance so expertly helps make the whole situation pretty dire. It's an excellent balancing act that not many stories can accomplish. And while The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals leans one way or the other at times, it's still all handled really well. Oh, and also, you know how most people say the villain song is the best one in any musical? Well, technically speaking, nearly every song in The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the villain song. Including the finale, which is just too brilliant for me not to give a round of applause. If you're a person who unfortunately doesn't like musicals either, I'd say be more than willing to give this one a chance. It's funny, catchy, and if you think of the implications, pretty damn disturbing.
#2-A Very Potter Senior Year-...You know how Avengers: Endgame is a bit of a mess, yet people still love it for how much of a perfect (sort of) finale it is? It's the same regard with A Very Potter Senior Year in my eyes. It's far from a masterpiece, but the many, many solid scenes that cap off this series help make me willing to overlook the mistakes. The characters, callbacks, and overall message about how things end was done so expertly well that I physically can’t hate this one. I can understand how it's more of an ok play when compared to the rest of Starkid's productions, but sometimes, ok is wonderful.
#1-Twisted: An Untold Story of a Royal Vizier-...It's Twisted. Everyone loves Twisted! And how could they not? Everything about this play just screams Starkid at their best. The comedy is uproarious, added with the fantastic delivery of the actors and the characters' personalities. Everyone feels as though they have one step in reality and the other in insanity. This, to me, seems like the best type of character work when going for the parody angle. Parody is about giving slight yet snide remarks toward the work you're mocking, which I feel works best when characters drop the suspension of disbelief audiences have when enjoying such a story. And Twisted definitely nails its satire in not only poking fun at Aladdin but also making jokes towards Disney as a brand. From their movies to their inside jokes to their formulas to even their corporate dealings with Pixar, nothing about Disney is sacred in Twisted. But on top of being funny, Twisted might just be the most successful Starkid has been with telling some really compelling drama. The jokes allow themselves to take a back seat to let serious moments play out, and even comedy is added, it provides more for the experience rather than taking anything away. You see this not only through the actors giving it their all but even through some really gorgeous and heart wrenching musical numbers. Oh, and also, Twisted has the best Starkid soundtrack, featuring songs that are epic, funny, and, as I said, heartbreaking. You cannot get better than this and, if you want to get a friend interested in Starkid as a whole, this might be the play for them. Scheherazade may have a thousand tales, but his one is a tale I wouldn't mind hearing for a thousand nights.
And that's about how I feel about Starkid and each and every one of their plays. Odds are your ranking would be much different from mine, and I'm all for that differing opinions. Feel free to make your own ranking if you want because I'm honestly curious where fans would place these plays above or below others. I'm relatively new to enjoying their work, so I have no idea what the consensus is. I do know one thing, though: If Starkid can still be incredibly entertaining through over ten years of content, then I am excited to see what they can accomplish next in another ten years.
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kingk8art · 4 years
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hetalia rant
pls ignore how I won't use any proper punctuation or capitalization because my arms and fingers all hurt from volleyball :( Edit: My arm’s are better now so I’m actually using proper capitalization and punctuation (special thanks to my friends for proofreading and also Google autocorrect.) Special thanks to my friend for helping me out with writing this.
so i'm one of those people who joined the hetalia fandom like REALLY late, having first watched the anime in like 2017 or 18. Nevertheless, when I heard about how the anime was coming back in 2021 I was really excited!! I’ve been reading world stars lately but there’s just something in the hetalia anime that made me love it so much. the voice acting and how it’s animated and everything, it really brings the characters to life! out of curiosity I searched up hetalia on twitter. keep in mind that i’m pretty new to the fandom so i never really got to see the shipping wars, or really any toxic part of the fandom, since i wasn’t there when hetalia was at its peak.
What i saw was really different from what i expected to see. I kinda expected twitter threads hyping up the new season, or things like that but most of ones I found in the top section were hate comments about hetalia, and things about why it shouldn’t come back. I was reading these and I was like, wait why? Some of them actually made sense, and the others had flawed logic. Here are my rants on why hetalia ISN’T anti-Semitic or problematic (as of now).
Misconceptions About Hetalia
1. Hetalia is About Nazi Germany or the Holocaust
If you’ve actually watched the show/read the manga, it’s quite obvious that although some of the events take place during WW2, it never mentions Hitler, Nazis, the Holocaust, or anything like that. and there’s a good reason for it. In the first place, hetalia isn’t meant to be a serious comic. The manga only focuses on subjects like funny things that happened to historical figures/occurrences during a war, weird inventions; generally those kinds of things. It focuses on the cultural differences between countries, or wholesome moments in history (such as when two enemies stopped fighting on Christmas day to play soccer.) Hetalia itself is antiwar. Consider the main character himself: he absolutely hates fighting. I don’t see how hetalia can be anti-Semitic or pro-war at all. But what I will say is fucked up are those certain cosplayers that did the Nazi salute, posed in front of a Holocaust memorial, etc. But I can still guarantee that the MAJORITY of the fandom is not like this. Every single fandom has its bad apples, some more than others. It’s not right to generalize the entire fandom as anti-Semitic, racist, disrespectful shits.
Do people realize that Germany’s character in Hetalia isn’t Nazi Germany?  In the first place the Holocaust wouldn’t be Germany’s responsibility — the depictions of these characters are meant to portray the people as a whole, not their systems of law or government. It’s stated in the series that nations MUST obey orders from their “boss” (which probably refers to the country’s ruler, president, prime minister, or other leaders at the time. Nations can’t choose what their superiors do, or what those under that control do. Saying Germany is humanized Nazi Germany is like putting that label on all German people without considering factors like time period or representation. Hetalia characters are a mere representation of each country’s people, nothing else.
How does mentioning WW2 in a comedy make it offensive? There are PLENTY of movies, novels, and other kinds of media that take place in WW2 and yet are in the comedy genre. Ever watched Jojo Rabbit? If you thought Hetalia was offensive, have you ever watched South Park or looked at CountryHumans? I do get why some people dislike Hetalia, but why does it receive so much hate for something that was never in the series (or generally speaking, for the wrong reasons)? It may have flaws, but there’s a strong definition to what those flaws actually are. It doesn’t revolve around antisemitism or Nazism. 
2. Hetalia is Racist and Stereotypes People
Now this is a pretty controversial topic. Being a comedy about personified countries, stereotypes are really something that HAS to be used at some point to make the characters funny. But does that automatically make it racist? No. I saw this on a YouTube video comment section somewhere, but stereotyping (generalizing) that all stereotypes are ‘bad’ (or have negative connotations/associations) is literally stereotyping. Not all of the stereotypes are bad. Like the way Britain acts like a gentleman or likes drinking tea, which in a way, is a British stereotype. That’s not a bad thing, just funny to see in the show — played for comedy purposes, and not necessarily offensive.
Although Hetalia characters are sometimes influenced by stereotypes that revolve around the actual countries and represent the people in general, they DO NOT always represent what those country’s people are actually like. Also, I’m pretty sure the point of comedy about personified countries is to use some of those generalizations. Specifically, stereotypes that the Japanese have about foreigners. France is portrayed as a flirty man because in Japan France is known for being a “romantic country.” But that doesn’t mean that they think all French people are like that — it’s just a lighthearted joke. And now, Hetalia characters have grown to be more of their own character rather than simply a humanized country at its base. Despite being a personification, they’re like their own person, not just used to depict stereotypes. Just because a character has a certain personality trait doesn’t mean Hima believes that everyone from that country has the same trait. It’s not meant to be racist, and isn’t. 
What I Think Was/Is Problematic
As much as I love this show, there were DEFINITELY some problematic things that people tend to ignore.
1. Korea Controversy
As a Korean American, I have to say that I was quite disappointed when I learned about how Hima portrayed Korea in the manga. I won’t go that deep into this one since it’s not that relevant to what I'm talking about now, but it was definitely a HUGE problem and I’m glad that he was removed from the series.
2. Iron Cross on Germany
The iron cross that Germany wears in Hetalia (in every time period) is a military decoration that was used since the King of Prussia until the time period of Nazi Germany in WW2. Today, it’s considered a hate symbol, similar to and alongside the swastika. To be fair, it wasn’t just a decoration used purely for the Nazis, unlike several other examples of Nazi symbols and memorabilia, so I suppose it could be up to each person to judge whether it should pass or not, despite the surrounding circumstances — it isn’t up to me as part of the fanbase. But personally, I think it should have been removed/not used in the first place. I mean, it wasn’t that necessary, seeing all of the military uniforms drawn in Hetalia were simplified anyways. Perhaps it would be much less problematic if Hima didn’t draw the iron cross, and the same goes for the other presented issues.
3. Japanese Imperialism
The way Hima portrays Japanese Imperialism was pretty offensive in my opinion. An instance is the presentation of the Japanese invasion of Korea. It wasn’t just like how the colonies were under Great Britain’s rule. It limited much more of Koreans’ rights and was much more gruesome. I don’t know about anyone else and can’t speak for each individual, but as a Korean, portraying all of this as Japan merely patting Korea on the  head is fucked up. This ties to the controversy of Korea’s character. From what I’ve seen, Hetalia is pretty close to a rightist (in Japan, not the US) series. I won’t dive too deep into that, but rightist — or in Korean, 우익 — animes are animes that glorify their country’s past/country, or  use content to make fun of or criticize other nations. Actually, it’s probably much more complicated than that, but as of now I don’t know much about it. It mostly ties to the tension between Koreans and the Japanese, so if you’re not either, there’s not really much to worry about. But (maybe because I’m Korean) I found it weird that the manga seems to give every single character a bad/negative characteristic except Japan. I guess it’s only natural, since the creator is Japanese. But then again, France was basically drawn as a rapist/pedophile, but I have never seen a French person complain about it. Or maybe they just completely avoid Hetalia? If anyone knows about it, I would be glad to listen. Perhaps it’s just a bias that I have as a Korean. It could also be a cultural difference too, since we tend to be very patriotic.
4. The Title: Axis Powers
Although the main character is Italy, and the story revolved (emphasis on the past tense) around the 3 countries that were part of the Axis, Hima should have been more considerate with the title of the show, thinking about what the Axis Powers actually did during WW2. Just “Hetalia” would have been fine. But it also should be considered that when Hima started drawing the manga, he did not expect it to become a long-term thing or for it to blow up so much. Thankfully, only the first two seasons of the anime were titled as Hetalia: Axis Powers, and later seasons were titled more acceptable things, like World Stars (manga) or The Beautiful World.
5. Seychelles
Personally I don’t find a problem with there not being that many African/South American countries in the show. Africa’s country borders (and all of that related material) were very different from what they are today, and it would be really fucking hard for Hima to keep track of all of those while still writing good characters. And unlike Europe, Africa’s history was not transcribed much, and is a lot less-known. The problem with Seychelles was her skin color, which wasn’t accurate. But that’s since been fixed.
Is Hetalia Really Problematic?
My most straightforward answer for this question would be no, it is not problematic as of now. Something I realized while listing all of the aspects of Hetalia that I personally thought were wrong to put in was that most of them don’t exist anymore. Besides Germany’s iron cross, all of them were removed from the show. Korea was banned from the anime, and he no longer appears in any of the manga strips. The manga strays further and further away from topics like Japanese Imperialism or WW2. Most of the time in the manga, countries do not wear their military uniforms anymore, but stick to more casual clothes. The characters stray further away from stereotypes that Hima used to use as a comedic effect when he first started drawing. My point is: Hima learned his mistakes. Which only makes sense, considering all of the criticism he probably received when the series first started. I think that’s a good thing. Now back to what I was ranting about earlier. I don’t get why people are saying Hetalia shouldn’t come back! The new season is most likely going to be based off the most recent Hetalia manga series, which is Hetalia World Stars. If you’ve ACTUALLY READ THE MANGA AND DIDN’T JUDGE THE ENTIRETY OF HETALIA BASED ON ITS FIRST FEW SEASONS, you would know what World Stars is about. It’s about all sorts of things. My personal favorite strips are the ones about ancient Rome! It’s not just drawn to give readers a laugh but it actually teaches you some history. Other than Rome, the manga is also about the trends of clothes in certain countries/time periods, industrial revolutions, or just the interactions between the characters in general. I really don’t see how animating these would be harmful at all. The subjects don’t revolve around what a lot of opposers say/negatively connotate the series with. If you think bringing Hetalia back is a terrible thing to do because the fandom would return and start doing toxic/weird things, I really don’t know how to respond to that. The fandom already died out around the time the last season was released. Now newer fans will come around, and the former fans would return (hopefully) matured up. It's already been 5 years since the last Hetalia season aired, after all. And like I said earlier, toxic fans never represent the entire fandom. If you really hate the fandom that much, I recommend not getting involved at all.
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Can we talk about the rampant bi/panphobia surrounding Yang "looks at guys like they're fresh meat in the first 3 volumes and chibi" Xiao Long? Blake's gets brought up a lot as 90% of her reason for existing is to be the romancable NPC, but it's hardly talked about with Yang. She has shown express interest in guys. Even if Bees goes canon, it's not a Bi/Lesbian ship. It's a Bi/Bi or Bi/Pan ship or what ever other possible identity that doesn't erase Yang's attraction to men. I get the whole wanting rep thing but there's more lesbians in RWBY than any other LGBT identity and they aren't really that good in terms of representation. Do we really need another angry/aggressive/problematic lesbian in RWBY? And whenever it does get brought up, Lesbian!Yang fans always go "oh, it's just comphet". Um, excuse me? Isn't comphet not supposed to be a thing in Remnant?
Okay, so there's a lot to unpack here, and I do get why you're so frustrated because as a bi person, it gets so frustrating dealing with not only a huge lack of representation, but also feeling boxed out of, undervalued by, and invalidated by your own community sometimes. I myself have been really frustrated and even hurt by the way many RWBY fans (and specifically Bumblebee fans) have talked about Blake and Yang's sexuality, like they would be less gay or less rep if they were bi, how shipping them with men is 'wrong' because it's 'straight behavior' and 'validating the straights,' and I got particularly annoyed once by a post that claimed that people only shipped Yang and Weiss so that they could force Blake - who they claimed was a canon lesbian - into a relationship with a man. I think it's clear why people talk about Blake's status as bi more than Yang's - Yang has one moment in eight seasons where she acts clearly attracted to men, whereas Blake has had two canon romantic relationships with men, Adam being her ex and her having gone on a date with and kissed Sun on the cheek. When people dispute Blake's status as a bi, sometimes they (rightly) come at it from the point of view of 'this is just my own personal headcanon for my own benefit.' But too often, Blake's attraction to men is dismissed outright and fans try and find every excuse to invalidate it so that they can insist that Blake is a canon lesbian. That's pretty openly biphobic imo. (Also I don't agree that 90% of Blake's character is a romancable NPC. I think maybe she's become mostly not an active character who only really exists as support and romance, but the idea that it's 90% of her overall show character is weird to me, Blake is done dirty by the show but that doesn't mean she's not a character for the first five seasons.)
But Yang is also worth talking about. Because of the fact that her moment of displaying clear attraction towards men is brief and early in the show, many fans have just... Thrown it out entirely, and decided that not only does it not count, but that anyone who brings it up is living in the past and is stupid for paying attention to the early seasons. That's obviously really dumb. The idea that after the first five seasons, Yang is displaying clear romantic attraction towards a girl for the first time, she is now one hundred percent a lesbian in canon because she's only displayed romantic attraction towards men once... That's also rooted in biphobia. Being attracted to men doesn't just suddenly go away because you're attracted to women and vice versa, no one chooses to be bi, gay, straight, ace, whatever. If Yang was sexually attracted towards men at seventeen, that part of her doesn't stop existing just because she's sexually attracted to women too. The thing is, headcanoning Yang (or even Blake!) as a lesbian is totally fine. I think the RWBY creators did say that sexism, racism, and homophobia doesn't exist in Remnant, but like ??? Idk why they'd decide something like that if they were gonna make jokes about Jaune and Qrow wearing skirts haha laugh at the non-gender-conformity of men, and if they'd write the first five seasons with literally one gay character, while tons of straight relationships that get credence, everyone else expresses no clear romantic inclination towards the same sex for five years of the show running. And we're supposed to think there's no heteronormativity at least? Cardin and Jaune both have clear toxic masculinity problems that Jaune grows out of, but we're supposed to think that toxic masculinity has nothing to do with any sexism or homophobia, however internalized? I think if people want their fans to believe there is not sexism or homophobia or racism in their fake world, they need to make good and sure their own internalized issues don't leak into their work. So I don't think it's wholly invalid when people decide that in their headcanon, they think Yang just acted like she was attracted to men because she thought she should. I especially think it's valid for people to headcanon that Yang had acted like she attracted to men because she thought she was. She was only seventeen, seventeen year olds put on behavior that they think is cool and she is the niece of Qrow 'wink at Winter to piss her off' Branwen, and Yang could've realized maybe during school that putting on behavior was all that was, and that she isn't actually attracted towards men and likes girls - specifically the girl dancing with Sun at the school ball. That's perfectly valid as a headcanon. But that's all it is, a headcanon.
Yang is not a canon lesbian and it's perfectly valid and supported by Yang's canon interactions for people to consider her bi or pan, and people can even headcanon her as ace if they want. Trying to demand that other people see fictional characters as the sexuality you prefer them in is just going to drive wedges, especially when so much venom seems to be directed towards bi characters, with others acting like they're literally less rep if they also have romantic interactions with people of the opposite sex. Like, people literally have the idea of "I love that Blake is bi, but I hate that people are shipping her with men or talking about Blake's romances with men and idk why the show put any focus on her romantically interacting with men." Like, sure, okay, so you support bi characters so long as they don't be bi too obviously. But... I'm getting off topic.
Here's the thing... I would caution not to get too deep in this "there's too many lesbians," concept. We're supposed to all be one community, supporting and fighting for each other. The problem isn't that there's too much representation for lesbians, the problem is that there is not enough representation for bi people, or pan, or ace, or trans men, or trans women, or non-binary people, etc. We don't have to wish less for other gay people to wish for more for ourselves. I agree that disregarding Yang's moment of attraction to men maybe isn't the way to go, but it's not that there are already enough lesbians in RWBY. There are only three side characters (by the way, two of them aren't confirmed lesbians, just because they're in a relationship with each other,) two of whom made a very minor appearance in all of two or three episodes and will likely never return to the story. As you say, the rep that lesbians have gotten in RWBY isn't very good. Them desiring more representation is perfectly valid, and I even get them wanting that representation from Yang, despite her single moment of lusting after boys in season one. That's a perfectly understandable desire. I myself want gay Neptune despite him expressing interest in women. It's not wrong. The only thing that's wrong is villainizing and mocking people for their own very valid ships like BlackSun or Yang x Jaune or Yang x Mercury or Blake x Ren or whatever ships people like. I'm sorry that I can't agree with you here, but if there was a scene in RWBY where Yang discusses her feelings for Blake and says that she realized she's a lesbian... I might not be particularly happy with the writing staff, because I already heard there's an element of disregarding Blake's former relationship with Sun in things like the comics, which is frustrating as a bi person. But I would be happy for the people who would find in this something that speaks to them and makes them feel like their own experiences are represented. Sometimes I can feel excluded from the LGBTQ+ community due to my attraction towards men, and that's hard, but I'm not going to start devaluing the victories of other gay people because of it, I'm not going to start getting upset when they get representation, or when a character they love claims an identity that reflects their own.
I do get where your frustration is coming from though, and it's perfectly valid to feel upset and exasperated both with the way MKEK write their queer relationships and in how people in the fandom tend to disregard the bi identity of characters.
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Caesar and the MC should be Best Friends - Hear me out
This sounds really strange at first to hear. But the game did a terrible job of summarizing the story and showing the characters. The MC should be Best Friends with Caesar, check out why, below the cut.
Act One: The Premise (The MC will be referred to as Female because my character is female and I’m too lazy)
The MC has been trained to fight and use her abilities since she was a child. She’s been competing against others for the privilege of being the best as well. By the time she’s arrived at Cassell, she’s seen horrors that not even the Cassell Trio can boast of seeing.
Caesar in the meantime is planning his wedding. But Nono is AWOL. He’s getting no feedback from her and it leaves him just shooting in the dark for what ‘sounds cool’ For all of Caesar’s big talk, he realizes that he’s not really reaching Nono’s heart and he’s feeling a bit lost.
In the game: You save Nono in the game. 
Why you would grow closer to Caesar: This is not easily reconcilable with the novel’s opening scenes, so if we stretch and pretend you arrive before Nono goes on her Walkabout, that would make one HECK of an impression on Caesar. He would have seen immediately that you are a step far above Luminous. Being a self-described ‘maniac’ he would not have been shy about approaching you and telling you you’re 10x what Luminous is.
Caesar is mischaracterized in the game to a great extent. While his misogynstic leanings and need to be ‘tHe LeADer’ is played up probably for laughs, he’s not that over the top. Here’s how he’s portrayed in the Novel.
Anjou put the two of them (Caesar and Chu Zihang) together and actually wanted them to sincerely cooperate? The move was similar to keeping lions and tigers in a cage, with Lu Mingfei stuffed between them like an innocent red panda. But Caesar decided to do his best, because this time he is the team leader. The success or failure of the task related to his honor, and for honor, he can bear anything. Along the way, he repeatedly warned himself to be generous, to have a leadership style, to be a corporal... Take Chu Zihang as a corporal to "victory", Caesar's heart is much more comfortable. This time he is immersed in the pink mood of preparing for the wedding, and he is feeling very charitable, even to Chu Zihang this serial killer looks more appealing.
There’s no way Caesar would ignore you as the MC. You would be of utmost interest to him. Far more interesting than Chu Zihang and Luminous. He takes responsibility for you as part of the team, he owes you one for Nono, and wants to see you succeed, probably more than anyone else there.
Act 2: Your arrival in Japan
The game skips the whole opening sequence introducing you to Chisei and Sakura. In the novel, those fancy Kimonos were given to you by Anjou and yes they all come with umbrellas. The whole scene is supposed to be funny. Chisei is mistaken for a tour guide, Lu Mingfei compliments Chisei’s Chinese in his own broken Japanese and fantasizes about cute maid cafes, Chu Zihang freaks Chisei out with his golden eyes by accident. So I imagine the MC stumbling and falling trying to walk in Geta.
But things get serious when the police show up and you realize that you’ve entered the country illegally and are now about to get arrested. The MC might voice that this make sense “Because I don’t have a passport or any identity. There was no way I’d ever get into the country.”
After Chisei loses the police, you’re taken to your rooms to stay for the night.
I wrote a little piece about this ‘here’
Why the MC and Caesar would grow closer: At the end of this scene, Caesar is completely isolated, drinking in his room and texting a silent Nono. This scene would change with you as the MC there. This would turn into an opportunity for you to bond. Perhaps you would notice him texting, talking about his love of Nono. You could touch on your past with him for the first time, or not, depending. He’d probably say something enthusiastically fiery and confidence building. He wants you to trust him and trust in yourself. For all his flaws, Caesar is very LIKEABLE and easy to understand. You don’t get into positions of power like his without some level of Charisma.
Act 3: The Mission Details
In the Game: This whole scene goes missing. 
In the Novel: You take a whirlwind tour of Genji Heavy Industries. It’s an engineering marvel that is practically embedded in the central infrastructure of Tokyo (The building is seriously impossible and amazing but that’s for a nother post.). 
You sit down with Masamune for tea. Immediately, something jumps out at Caesar.
“Are you Japanese?” Caesar gave Masamune Tachibana an examining look..
"I'm only half Japanese and the other half Russian." Tachibana said.
Caesar frowned, which made him think of the soviet icebreaker Lenin involuntarily.
"I've been in Japan for many years, and a lot of people don't see that I'm half Russian, Mr. Gattuso.” Tachibana said, inquiringly.
"Accents, your accents have Slavic characteristics, and you'll distinguish between hard and soft consonants, which are typical Russian pronunciations." Caesar said, "You're not just Of Russian Descent, You've Lived In Russia." 
This is Lu Mingfei and Chu Zihang have no say in the matter since their two mother tongues are Chinese. But Caesar was aware when he heard the first words of Tachibana Masamune. He grew up as a different kind of man who could speak English, French and Spanish fluently in addition to Italian, and he could tell the language characteristics of every language spoken in Europe.
Even the wind demon villain Lang and yuan child in this seat are showing a surprised expression, it is clear that other owners do not know this matter.
Why this would bring you closer to Caesar: Not only would you pick up on the exact same thing, but he would speak with the same Russian accent as the MC. Languages are regional, Russia is a HUGE FREAKING COUNTRY. It would be no mistake that the Russian accent - Tachibana’s Russian accent - would match the MCs regional one.  Depending on how much your MC would have told Caesar, Caesar would have picked up a whole lot. Why you were awakened now, why you were sent on this mission... but that’s not even all!!
Later on, Chisei shows up after Tachibana leaves. He’s given you more information on the Lenin and why its sinking seems suspicious. But then he says this.
"Yes, the Lenin passed through the nameless port of northern Siberia, took a precious dragon embryo, and the port was destroyed in a fire. No one knows where the embryo is going to be shipped, the final destination may be Japan, or it may just pass by, but apparently it failed to reach its destination and the dragon embryo fell into the depths of the trench. Embryos have been hatching slowly over the years, but we haven't been aware of them. ”
Now depending on how much your MC might tell Caesar at this point he may or may not notice more parallels between the story of the Lenin and your story. You’re a hybrid, from Siberia who survived not just a fire but a bombs and getting shot. Heck imagine being the MC listening to this and realizing that this mission is intimately connected with you. In the game this happens way late, but in the novel it’s right at the start!
Why this would bring you closer to Caesar: At this point none of this would have been shared between any of the others. This is something only Caesar and you would know, shared knowlege that would likely mentally bond you two as allies.
The next scene is just more obvious bonding time. They all discuss likes and dislikes, their personal goals, dreams, loves, and ideals. The MC would still have Caesars favor but Caesar would fall more and more for Chisei’s charms. He’s bored and wants to see some ‘real gangster’ stuff. So Chisei obliges and takes Caesar to an operation between two rival gangs fighting over turf. 
This would be the first time you’ve seen Caesar actually get serious for once intimidating some gangsters in a comic store. But after that’s all over, he immediately gets interested in the comics. This is very important to note that Caesar is rarely serious about anything. And if he is it doesn’t last long. He tells a long story about wanting a PS2, staying up all night to play Star Ocean when the housekeeper smashed his console. So he purchased 200 consoles, gave the housekeeper an axe and every time he smashed a console he replaced it immediately and kept playing. Finally, they let him play video games 2hours a day after his riding lessons.
This is important. Caesar is pushy and insistent and confident because he HAS to be to be himself and defy his family.  This is is something even Chu Zihang can respect and he makes up with Caesar after, realizing that Caesar’s way towards him wasn’t personal, good or bad, he’s always acting out towards his family.
With you, Lu Mingfei and Chu Zihang closer than ever, it’s time to actually go on the Mission.  So lets recap: Caesar the Leader has pulled the team together, taken you off on entertainment, on adventures, and now just now, on the way to the mission. cooked for everyone while speedreading the the instruction manual for the Lenin.
Why would this bring the MC closer to Caesar? Uh, maybe because he seems pretty freakin’ competent? Almost effortlessly so? As Chu Zihang so succintly puts it:  “Sometimes I admire Caesar. Whenever and wherever there are goals, he’s rarely afraid and never discouraged. In a group of people he will always be the one who inspires fighting spirit. People can choose how they live, Caesar is the kind of man who asks himself to live like a hero." The MC who has never felt so helpless in her life, could have easily been inspired by Caesar. That maybe she CAN get back to the Lenin, figure out who killed her friends and give him exactly what he deserves.
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