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#i feel like that helps me make decisions: heres what has to happen. heres whats preventing that from happening
yunhoszn · 3 days
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to hell with it
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pairing jung wooyoung x f!reader word count 5k genres angst﹒smut﹒teeniest bit of fluff here and there warnings 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, all lowercase bc she was supposed to be short and vibey and… that just did not happen, mentions and use of weed, very strict parents, lowkey fuckboy wooyoung lol, lots of kissing, marking, scratching, wooyoung has a fascination with reader’s tits lol, nipple play, no real foreplay, unprotected sex, cowgirl and missionary style, dacryphilia, exhibitionism kinda, quite a few references to religious-ish themes, unrequited love in a sense? i got carried away im so sorry
summary you could draw several heaven-hell parallels from this moment in time, from the way wooyoung buries himself inside of you, and you always return to the idea that he’s straight from hell.
more ok… like i said… i got carried away oopsie 😝 this was a request from my lovely wife of 20+ years @juyofans <3 i’m sorry if i strayed too far from the original idea,,, it just happened ok 🙇 also a huge thank u to @bro-atz for betaing for me i LOVE U SO MUCH!! that’s all lets keep this note short and sweet :P reblog if u enjoyed!
@atzhouse
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“shit.”
the curse slips from your mouth so naturally upon the discovery that your stash is completely finished. you rummage through the drawer one more time in case you might’ve missed something, but alas, you’ve run into the worst possible scenario. no more weed.
it’s not like you were dependent on it. but it was the end of a long week and it happened to be one of those days. an edible, a long rip from your bong, or a hit from a blunt wrapped with your pretty pink rolling paper sounded like fucking heaven right about now. 
you still lived at home, though, and your parents had no clue that you dabbled with marijuana, so you had to keep everything hidden in your room. unfortunately, it was just too expensive to get your own place in this day and age. and despite the fear of getting caught deeply instilled in you, you were extremely desperate. 
and well, desperate times called for desperate measures…
“hey, wooyoung…” you speak into the receiver. 
your relationship with the guy was complicated. it had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with you. he’d been your plug for a couple years now, and his pretty face made it really hard not to develop a crush. every time you bought from him, you always tried to get a lot at once so you could space out how often you saw him to make things easier on your heart. 
the two of you went to high school together, and the first time you reached out in regards to your secret habit was awkward. to say the least. all of your friends had purchased something from him at least once or twice, so they assured you that he was the real deal. but you had only ever mooched off of them and didn’t have the faintest idea what you were supposed to say or do. (what with having dictators for parents and the lot.)
you remember sending him a dm in the most cryptic way possible. he laughed it off, thinking about how cute it was that you didn’t know what you were getting yourself into. but, like every other occasion in which you’d spoken to him, he had a girlfriend at the time. the first time it was haeun, then there was jisu, and it was kind of hard to keep up with the names after that. his patience was endearing, though, and it always left you wanting more out of your conversations. (which is, understandably, what attracted you to the guy.)
he was definitely not a one-partner, commitment type of guy, and that’s all you could ever want out of someone. you thought keeping distance to halt any feelings from growing was the smartest decision. if you didn’t get close to him, it would help squash whatever flame burned beneath your chest. 
but now it was time for that little crush to unearth itself, as it does whenever you see him.  
“hey, y/n, what’s up?” you can hear the smile in his voice, the one that has your insides melting and your panties nearly dropping to the floor in an instant. it’s almost cocky, like he was expecting your call. and he probably was, all things considered.
“um…“ you stop yourself, squeezing your eyes shut and biting your lip, tilting your head back. “are you free to do a drop right now?”
the digital clock on your nightstand read 9:28 PM and your parents wouldn’t be home for another hour or so, having left for the movies a little over an hour ago. (that was the only reason why you were even thinking of pulling something as idiotic as this.) 
not even were you just not allowed to have boys over. you weren’t allowed to have people over period, at least not if your parents were out. in spite of being a grown adult, they still managed to enforce strict rules and curfews on you. you were breaking so many by making this fucking phone call. 
Do Not Think About Talking To Boys Under Our Roof. 
“yeah, actually. i have to do another in the area so that works out perfectly. i can be there in ten.” he answers and that stupid smile pops into your head again. 
Absolutely No Strangers Allowed In The House Without Us Present. 
“okay cool— wait, you remember my address?” your brow scrunch together, the confusion boiling up inside of you. he snorts, some shifting audible in the background. 
No Alcohol Unless We Are Present, Absolutely No Drugs Allowed. 
“yeah? why wouldn’t i?” he asks so nonchalantly, you almost miss it. “i’ll be there soon, babe.”
he ends the call before you can even say anything, still holding your phone to your ear. your jaw hangs open and heat begins to bloom behind your cheeks. this was exactly why you were avoiding him as long as possible. jung wooyoung was a natural flirt, and you were very delusional. 
this was fine, right? all you had to do was exchange the goods and money, then send him on his way. it would be like nothing ever happened, like no one was ever here. your parents would be none the wiser and you could finally relax. it would be just like when you were sneaking around in high school, having him drop when you didn’t have a car—
fuck.
you could’ve just met him somewhere instead, huh? you didn’t have the issue of being car-less anymore. you could’ve told your parents you were running out to grab some things from the store and hid it in your bags in case they were home before you. could’ve done literally anything else except act this irrational. 
This Is An Honest and Trustworthy Household — No Lying Will Be Tolerated. 
maybe, subconsciously, you’ve been wanting to see him in this setting again. there was a thrill in breaking your parents rules. you supposed something special, something exciting sparked under your skin all those times you snuck into the backyard to meet with wooyoung through the side gate. but right now, you’re pacing inside your bedroom. this wasn’t the time to get poetic and reminisce about being a schoolgirl with a crush. 
you were bulldozing through just about everything on your parents’ list of Do Nots and you feel like you should be more anxious about it. for some reason you’re less afraid of pissing them off. you’re entirely too concerned with looking good for wooyoung, and you don’t even hear the shrill sound of your phone ringing.
wooyoung’s contact lights up the screen, sending all sorts of panic signals to your brain. you severely underestimated how long ten minutes was, and also how long you’d been standing in front of the mirror gawking at yourself like a damn fish out of water. this was embarrassing. you were better than this, god, you were so much better than to lose yourself like this over a man. but jung wooyoung somehow made all rhyme and reason escape you like he was some sexy version of the pied piper.
before you realize it, your feet have carried you down the stairs and to the front door. on the other side stand wooyoung, his backpack slung over his shoulder. he’s dressed in a red zip up hoodies and some baggy jeans. his hair is longer than when you last saw him, long enough to have some of the strands tucked loosely behind his ears. you think you’re entranced by his visuals alone, and then he opens his mouth.
”told ya i remembered.” his words drip with that charisma that sucks you in further, deeper, into the chasm you kept trying to avoid.
”uh— c-come in,” you usher him into your house and up the stairs into your room, just in case. “my parents aren’t home, but i don’t know if my neighbors are watching or something. and just in case they get back earlier, it’s easier to hide you in here than anywhere else.”
wooyoung nods with a snort, eyes wandering around the bedroom you’ve had since you were two years old. he’s never been inside of your house before, much less inside of your room. it’s very you; various posters littering the walls, makeup and skincare products cluttered around your vanity, comfy-looking sheets.
Definitely No Boys Allowed In Your Room.
“you know, y/n, i was pleasantly surprised when you called,” he shrugs off his bag, setting it on the foot of your bed, dragging his finger along the footboard. “i was starting to miss my favorite customer.”
just about everything but standing right here sounded ideal to you. if there were miraculously a sniper stationed on the roof of the house next to yours, you hoped you were in his line of sight and he would take you out. it was as if he knew. he knew exactly what his effect on you was, and that was absolutely perfect, now wasn’t it?
“your— huh?” you’re sure you sound stupid, especially so when he laughs, unzipping his backpack to take out what he was here for. the smell alone practically recalibrates your system and reboots you. wooyoung notices.
”we’ve never smoked together, have we?” he asks, pulling out the tube he was looking for. it’s about an eighth, which is less than what you usually buy from him, but you’re in no position to complain. you shake your head ‘no’ as he hands it to you, before pulling out another and doing the same thing. you raise an eyebrow at him.
”this is—“
”no, i know,” he purses his lips with a nod, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth and swiping across the bottom one. “consider it a gift, for being so loyal to me all these years.”
you guffaw in disbelief. what the fuck?
”wooyoung, you can’t possibly—“
”just let me smoke you out this once. that’s all i ask in return,” he seats himself on the edge of your bed. “and we’ll even use my stuff. you can save yours for later. i’ll make it worth your while.”
you would be cutting it really close to the time your parents were supposed to be home. but he was so tempting. and you were so weak. so, so pitifully weak.
”okay…” you let yourself say. you let yourself divulge just this once. “but, remember—“
”yes yes, your parents. do you think this is my first rodeo?” he laughs, pulling out a little plastic baggie that appears to have pre-ground weed in it. almost like… he was anticipating this? when he reaches into his backpack for what you assume is wraps, you jump to grab your pink rolling paper. you’d been so excited to use it, you weren’t going to let this opportunity go to waste.
batting your lashes at him is the only way you know how to convince him, though it doesn’t really take much convincing. your rolling skills still weren’t the best, despite doing this as long as you have, so you watch in awe as wooyoung does it. his fingers move expertly, and you have to blink away the thoughts threatening to overthrow the sane ones that have been struggling to keep afloat.
wooyoung fishes for the lighter in his pocket, red like the color of his jacket. he lights the blunt and holds it carefully between his fingers. you think he’s going to take the first hit, but then he’s holding it to your lips, gesturing for you to do it. “ladies first.” he throws in with that obnoxiously attractive laugh of his. you hesitantly follow his lead, sitting beside him, then inhaling and filling your chest. 
your exhale isn’t as graceful as you hoped it would be, a couple coughs coming out of you, but it was a strong hit. he rubs his free hand up and down your thigh to soothe you, hitting it himself. he’s definitely a lot more experienced than you, in what he does and how he does it, breathing it out into the atmosphere. your room is a little foggy now and you have half the mind to crack open a window, however, you’re hyper aware of his hand on your thigh. and you don’t want it to go away. 
If Any Of These Rules Are Broken, You Risk Being Kicked Out.
it’s calm for a few minutes, just the two of you rotating the blunt in comforting silence, his hand still branding its place on your thigh. and then his thumb starts to move. it circles into your bare skin gently, kneading mindlessly. you almost let out a whine, but you catch yourself, concealing it as a cough instead.
“you like me, don’t you, y/n?” wooyoung asks, puffing out a thick white cloud and pouting. “that’s why you buy a lot from me at once. that’s why i sometimes only see you once a month.”
the question catches you so off guard, you almost grab the pink blunt by the spark. he sets it in your ashtray, conveniently placed on one of your bedposts. you stare at him blankly, because how fucking perceptive do you have to be to figure that out? your crush was probably a little more than obvious, sure, but the avoidant tendency you had couldn’t possibly be linked to that. not unless he truly knew you like the back of his hand. 
he leans back onto his palms with a snicker, carding his fingers through his hair. the way he’s positioned allows you to glimpse at a bit more of his chest from the partially unzipped jacket. the only thing you see is that it’s bare, and your brain short circuits. it was already frying itself when he called you out, now there wasn’t a single functioning cell up there. 
“i’m high like sixty percent of the time, i see everything. i know everything.” he answers your unspoken inquiry. and well, that may be true, but it’s not like you’re doing much to refute with the way you’re ogling at him. (you were a horny high, unfortunately.) 
“what—“ you swallow, suddenly all too aware of how close you’re sitting, of how his grip on your thigh is a little more primal. “what if i said no? what then?”
“i’d think you were a liar,” he smiles, that fucking smile you can picture in your head even through a phone call. “and i don’t like being lied to.”
“so it’s a good thing i haven’t said no yet, right?” you breathe, voice entirely too stable for the situation. his hand rises higher on your thigh, the tip of his index finger brushing under your shorts. you glance down at it, eyes already heavy lidded as they observe the way it drags across your skin. fuck. 
“mhm,” he hums, gauging your reaction to his touch. “it’s very good.”
you’re losing your patience the longer you sit there, tortured by wooyoung’s hand searing on your thigh. your heart seems to beat faster and you feel like you can tell with the rise and fall of your chest picking up in speed. his lips on yours is all that you want, all that you need, and under this spell (the intoxication swimming through your bloodstream), you’re willing to accept the consequences that may come with it. 
a gasp escapes you when his nail scrapes along the side of your leg with the pressure of a feather. it’s overwhelming, to say the least. you want more and more and more, and then so much more until you can’t take it, but part of you is still insecure that he’ll leave you strung out on a clothesline if you indulge. you’re beyond thinking about the repercussions if you’re caught. you’re focused on the repercussions of being hurt if you give in. 
but enough is enough. 
placing your hand over his own, you slip it under your t-shirt where you’ve been braless this entire time. wooyoung’s eyes widen and you grab one of his hoodie strings, yanking him closer to you. your noses brush and your eyes meet, a silent ask for permission to finally play into what you’ve both been waiting for. 
you don’t really give him a second to rethink it.
your lips connect in a rough, messy kiss that has you believing in the existence of a god. one that’s granted what you’ve been dreaming of for years. maybe after this you’ll start praying before bed again, especially if it always rewards you this well. 
his mouth slots against yours like it’s the missing piece of a puzzle, your tongues tangling and your teeth nearly clashing. wooyoung’s hand on your chest regains its own control, squeezing your breast and flicking his thumb over a perked nipple. his other hand grips your waist, pulling you onto his lap. your knees dig into the mattress, hands cupping under his jaw and then entwining in his hair. 
you sigh into his kiss, obsessed with this length on him. you’re sure he feels the same when he groans after you tug on it, deepening the kiss if possible. the sigh turns into a moan when he guides your hips into a circular motion, grinding you down on him to create a bit of friction and get the ball rolling. 
he knows you don’t have a lot of time, maybe an hour tops, but fuck he wishes he could take his time with you. he wished he could explore your body and learn every single thing you liked and didn’t like, and use it all to his advantage. his senses are heightened so he’s keenly aware of your every sound, of each whine that escapes you. 
wooyoung’s mouth travels from your own, along your jaw, and down your throat, nipping and sucking so he leaves his mark on you wherever he can. your lips part with a soft moan when he finds the sensitive spot on your neck. his hand is still in your shirt, kneading and massaging your tits like it was second nature for him. 
your high has reached its peak, and you’re starting to get light headed from how good everything feels. if he didn’t touch you where you needed him most soon, you feared you might finish prematurely, and after all that you’ve been through to get to this point, you really cannot handle that tonight. thankfully, he seems to read your mind. 
“i would love to make up for lost time, but i don’t think we can right now,” he pants into your skin, hands everywhere but somehow nowhere all at once. “let me just—“
“stop yapping and just fuck me, wooyoung, you’re wasting precious time,” you groan, going straight for the zipper of his jacket. you push the red material off of his shoulders in one go, practically pawing at the button of his jeans. he laughs at your impatience, but knows you’re right. 
“well, when you put it like that, i don’t feel bad for the disgusting things i wanna do to you,” he teases, helping you pull your shirt over your head. “gonna fuck you so good, you’re gonna wanna see me more than once a month.”
the call out is crazy, but you don’t have the mental capacity to argue with him, head tossing back when he takes one of your tits into his mouth. you scrape your nails down the expanse of his chest and abdomen, a reprieve to the static buzzing throughout your body with wooyoung’s lips all over you. his teeth sink into your collarbone and you nearly lose your sanity. this was it, there was no going back now that you’ve fallen under his spell. 
his skilled fingers make quick work removing your shorts and you’re so beyond restless, that he has a bit of trouble getting them down your legs. he stills your hips firmly, practically scolding you when he says, “sit still, pretty, i’m not going anywhere.”
it’s a weird reaffirmation, and in a way it calms your erratic mind. you finally let go of those reservations and allow yourself to submit to these feelings you’ve harbored for years. the heat of wooyoung beneath you is enough to make you squirm again, needing him inside of you before you start crying. (though judging by what he’s said so far, you think he’d like that.)
“god, i need you so bad,” you whine, lips locking with his once more. you speak the words into his mouth and they hold all the subtlety of an excavator, desperation hanging off of each syllable. “please…”
you can feel, rather than see, the conniving smile that graces his features, fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties. he’s dangling your desire in front of you like a ball of yarn with a cat, the bed of his nails dragging along your hips slowly and tortuously. you reach down to cup his erection through his boxers and that’s what spurs him on, dropping his mischievous act in favor of gifting you what you’ve been asking for so nicely.
wooyoung pushes your underwear to the side, kicking off his boxers so he’s bare for you. part of you is way more excited than you should be to fuck him raw, for the first time nonetheless. he leans back slightly and watches as you hover over his cock, sitting on it gently. he’s definitely on the longer side, longer than the other guys you’ve been with— not that there were very many to compare him to. he fills you up just right, tapping that sweet crook of your pussy when he sheathes entirely. 
the moan that breaches the sound barrier fights itself from deep in your chest, tickling his ears and forcing out one of his own. his grip on your hips tightens as you begin to move. it’s more of him moving your body for you, not that you’re complaining at all. less work for you.
with each bounce on his cock, your bed squeaks and it wouldn’t be such a problem if you didn’t also hear the front door open downstairs. your eyes widen almost comically, meeting wooyoung’s with a fear so intense that it nearly scares him too. gratefully, he’s been in this situation before. he holds a finger up to his lips to shush you, simultaneously flipping the two of you so your back is flat on the bed and his feet are planted on the floor.
you’re glad you had the clear mind to lock your door when you came up to your room. you don’t know if it’s because it’s wooyoung, or maybe you’re just into it, but you feel yourself getting more turned on as he continues to fuck you despite your parents being home. he covers your mouth with his hand, rocking his hips into yours with a purpose. his free hand slithers between the two of you, thumb rubbing calculated circles into your clit.
”take it,” he rasps into your ear, nipping the lobe softly; a contrast to what’s tumbling out of his mouth. “take it like the good girl you are.”
at that same moment, there’s a knock on your bedroom door. wooyoung doesn’t stop, in fact, he speeds up his pace, pushing your thigh to your chest so he plunges deeper into your cunt. he’s evil, pure evil.
”y/n, are you in there?” your mother asks.
”y-yes,” you gasp, willing your voice to stay steady. “i was getting ready to go to s-sleep.”
“you sound off… are you feeling okay?” she expresses her concern and you look to wooyoung for help.
you bite down harshly on your lower lip when he leans down to suck on one of your tits instead, still very roughly snapping into you. he urges you to say something anyway, so you can at least get them to leave you alone. “y-yes! i’m fine! i was just looking f-for my pajamas!”
he laughs lowly so only you can hear, gazing at you through his lashes and whispering, “should we tell her they’re on your floor?”
your mother doesn’t question you any further. ”okay… goodnight, sweetheart.”
”goodnight!”
her footsteps get quieter as she walks away from your door. the shit-eating grin on wooyoung’s face contributes to the growing ache in the pit of your stomach more than it pisses you off. unfortunately he just had that effect on you. it was hard to be mad at him when he made you feel like you were lit ablaze, fire burning all the way to the tips of your fingers.
“look at you, sweetheart,” you hate that the pet name has you clenching around his length. his lips trail down your body, worshiping it like you were his own personal goddess. “you’re taking my cock so perfectly.”
if you could scream, you would. you’d be as loud as possible so your whole block knew who was fucking you this good. you’d chant his name like a prayer, which was ironic considering he was, in a sense, more like an incubus. you could draw several heaven-hell parallels from this moment in time, from the way wooyoung buries himself inside of you, and you always return to the idea that he’s straight from hell. the way he lures you in, like the serpent with eve in the garden of eden. he has you turning your back on all forms of reason. 
but this inebriation, this sweet poison coursing through your bloodstream as applies practiced pressure to your clit, has your whole being soaring. you could care less about the trouble that comes with it, especially when it has your back arching off of your mattress and into his chest. 
your lips pry open in a silent moan when he presses up against that same spongy nook in your pussy. tears well in your eyes as they roll back, spilling down the sides of your cheeks. wooyoung kisses them away and fucks into you harder, inching closer and closer towards what you’re already on the precipice of. 
having gone nonverbal after nearly getting caught, it requires so much energy for you to croak out, “‘m so close, woo, so so close…”
he hums approvingly, back at your mouth now. his lips mold with yours so smoothly and your fingers tangle in his hair so easily. you want this forever, to be his in more ways than one. but after tonight, you don’t know how likely that is to happen, and you’ll let yourself be satiated by this one time. 
you’re lost in the sensation of his kiss, disappearing in the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of your cunt without restriction. and maybe this would’ve been so different had you not been high. maybe this wouldn’t have happened at all had you been sober. your vision is hazy and your head is clouded, but you’ve never felt so liberated. 
wooyoung grazes his nose against yours, a stark contrast in the behavior he’s exhibited tonight. even as he does so, his lower half is still pounding into you without mercy. and for some reason, that tenderness is what has you slipping through the cracks. your orgasm washes over you with no warning, crashing and colliding into your being almost violently. 
the fluttering of your walls around his cock has wooyoung finishing right behind you, lashes skimming the tops of your cheeks in butterfly kisses that prolong the climax of your release. it’s much more intimate than you expected, your heart swelling and your body shivering with its implications. he slows his pace to something steady, something that just metaphorically holds your hand through your orgasm. 
as you recover from the weight of it all, you realize that you’re still crying. wooyoung attempts to swipe away your tears with his thumbs, but when he notices that they aren’t stopping, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. he slides out of you and back into his boxers, scouring your bedroom floor for your t-shirt. he sits you up gently and cups your jaw in his hand.
“what’s wrong?” he asks, uncharacteristically serious. you’re used to him being playful and joking about everything, so for him to show genuine concern about your emotions means a lot. a lot.
“i’m okay— i’m fine, i’m just being weird.” you dismiss his worries though, since it’s true. he doesn’t owe you anything and you don’t want to guilt him into anything just because your crush is a little heavier than the schoolgirl crush he’s made it out to be. he shakes his head. he’s not having any of that.
”no, you’re upset about something. don’t water yourself down like that.” you don’t like that this is fueling your delusions, don’t like that you want him so much more than you thought you could. and maybe you could’ve stopped yourself, had you not looked at him. your gaze traces from the beauty mark under his eye to the way his hair frames his face. 
“i want something i can’t have,” is what you settle on, swallowing down that bitter pill that you’ve been avoiding tonight. “and i think i’m finally coming to terms with it.”
wooyoung searches your expression for thicker substance, as if that will hint towards a clearer answer than what you’ve given him. he finds it in that painfully sad smile of yours. he finds it in the heartache swirling in the pools of your irises. you know he didn’t mean to lead you on. it’s not his fault, really. you understood what you were getting yourself into. none of the blame can be placed in his hold, because it doesn’t belong to him.
”i should go,” he says after a long stretch of silence. “before either of us get into any trouble.”
you watch as he dresses himself quickly and exits through the window, taking your heart along with him. but it would be okay. you wouldn’t have to see him for another month anyways. 
at least, that’s what you tell yourself as you reignite the blunt sitting in your ashtray.
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utilitycaster · 15 hours
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Bonus:
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Campaign 2 episode 92/Campaign 3 episode 92 parallels (with some assistance from 3x89)
Transcription of the text in the above images (screenshots from the Critical Role Transcript Search) below the cut:
The following is excerpts from Campaign 2, Episode 92, and Campaign 3 Episode 92 (except one from 89, noted below), interspersed. Travis is playing Fjord, Marisha is playing Beau, Laura is playing Imogen, Liam is playing Orym, and Matt plays Thoreau Lionett in the Campaign 2 excerpt and Liliana Temult in the Campaign 3 excerpt:
First image:
TRAVIS: Your histamine reactions are going again.
MARISHA: Yeah. I've been away from Zadash for a little bit, so the pollen, it's kicking a little, you know?
TRAVIS: I take it you don't fully, fully hate your dad. It's got to be hard to hear this.
Second image:
LAURA: I'm going to heard toward Orym who's at a distance and approach slowly.
LIAM: Hey.
LAURA: Hi. I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder.
LIAM: Sorry, I know how hard all that is for you.
Third image:
MARISHA: Everyone wants to make their dad proud, you know? Just hoping he could, he could show some of that.
TRAVIS: You don't know that he can't. It's been years. You've grown, you've changed. I'm sure you were even more of an unbearable shit before. I'm not saying he deserves a second chance, but he is your father, and you do have a mother, and a brother that you've never met.
MARISHA: (sniffs) I guess it's hard when... the word inevitable has been brought up several times in the past 24 hours amongst us. I feel like I've found my family with The Mighty Nein. I don't like looking at my past, because it doesn't have The Mighty Nein in it, and I think I put off the inevitable, because I'm going to-- I'm afraid it's going to be like my past.
Fourth image:
LAURA: Don't apologize. I can't begin to understand how hard it is for you.
LIAM: You know, every one of us makes our decisions with the lenses or prisms we see life through.
LAURA: Mm-hmm.
LIAM: I can't take mine down. (sobs softly) It's not even about revenge for me. (sniffles) I just try and honor what they sign up to do. (sniffles) I just try and honor what they sign up to do.
LAURA: I didn't know them, but I can't imagine they wouldn't look at you and not be proud.
LIAM: (sighs sadly)
LAURA: I think you've gone farther than anyone could ever expect you to, and you're still going.
Fifth image:
TRAVIS: I don't think one contaminates the other. You've got good, solid footing here. I mean, shit, if we want to run, we run. If we want to kick his ass, we'll kick his ass.
MARISHA: Yeah. (sniffing) I kind of want to kick his ass, and I don't want to run.
TRAVIS: Could I ask you, in your wildest dreams, and feel free to say you don't want to tell me, what would you have happen when we go there?
MARISHA: I think I've worked so hard because I scripted this day, in my inevitable future that I would go back to him, successful woman, respectable member of society, Cobalt Soul, an Expositor, the thing he threw me away to, and I embraced. And then, I would get mad at myself, because I felt like I was doing exactly what he was doing to me my entire life, scripting me to be something else. And I'm still doing it. I haven't seen him in three years, and I'm still trying to be... something. And I think what's scary is that I like this, and what I've found, and I don't think it was until Nott started talking about having to go home and go away that it truly started terrifying me. Because for the first time, I'm happy. And what if that goes away?
Sixth image:
LIAM: (sighs softly) (sniffles) So far. I'm going to miss him.
LAURA: Yeah. Yeah.
LIAM: I'm going to miss Letters.
(sniffles)
LAURA: They were-- They were alive.
LIAM: Out of any of us, he just wanted to help.
Seventh image:
TRAVIS: It could always go away. It could go away tonight. The Gentleman's debtors could come calling.
MARISHA: (chuckling) And I think I know that, and I think I say things to Nott like, "You don't have to put those stipulations on yourself" because I've convinced myself that destiny or the inevitability won't come knocking. If you ignore it, it won't exist, and that's not true.
TRAVIS: (sighs) It'll be interesting either way. Your face is leaking.
MARISHA: I hate it.
TRAVIS: I won't tell anyone.
MARISHA: Don't tell anybody.
TRAVIS: Yep. You're a good friend. You're a good trainer.
Eighth image:
LAURA: I want you to know that that for a while it may have felt that you and I were not seeing eye to eye or maybe you felt that I, I didn't have the same goal in mind that you did. But don't worry about that anymore, all right?
LIAM: I understand family.
LAURA: Yeah. Yeah.
LIAM: I want for all the world for you to have your family.
LAURA: I wanted that, too, and (chuckles) god, that back and forth is a pretty funny thing, but choices were made. If nothing else, then at least we've got a little bit of knowledge on the inside now.
LIAM: Yeah. As much we'd like to, you can't turn back the clock.
LAURA: That's right. But you've got us.
Bonus image 1:
MARISHA: Mom already fucking mentioned that life gets difficult and it's hard. So you're right. Maybe it's easy to justify the easy way out, just get rid of the problem.
MATT: "That's not what this was about. You were on the self-destructive path. We didn't know what to do. I've never been a-- no one teaches you how to be a good father. I regret choices I've made, and you don't think I don't hold myself responsible for-- I thought I was doing what was best for you, truly."
MARISHA: You did. It was probably the best thing you could've done for me. So thank you. Tell me the story again, and then I'll go.
Bonus image 2 (from 3x89):
MATT: "History is filled with evil men. But few have the courage to stand up and try and stop them. Where I'm standing, I don't think we're on the opposing sides like you think we are. We just have a different myth, that's all. That's all. Please see it in yourself to understand why I've done and given up all of this."
LAURA: Maybe it's your turn to run. And I wake up.
60 notes · View notes
soaps-mohawk · 2 months
Text
Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 10: Treat Me Gently
Summary: You and Price take your relationship to the next level. It might be the best decision you've ever made.
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, p in v sex, fingering, oral, first time sex, unprotected(ish) sex, reader has an implant, creampie, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, language, the author is a bit rusty writing smut.
A/N: It's finally here. It's finally arrived, the moment we've all been waiting for! Uh, yeah, it's mostly badly written smut with just a little plot thrown in there. So...I hope you enjoy!
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
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Your attention is pulled from your book as the couch sinks on either side of you, two bodies joining you. You glance up from your book as an arm drapes itself across the back of the couch behind you. Your eyes flicker between Gaz and Johnny, mischievous grins on their faces. 
“We heard you have a date this weekend.” Gaz says, leaning in closer. 
Your face warms at his words. “Well, I don’t know if I’d call it a date...” 
“What are you wearing?” Gaz asks. 
“Do ye have anythin’ to wear?” Johnny asks. 
Their questions give you pause. The most formal thing you have are jeans and, though you doubt Price would care if you showed up in sweatpants, you would like to have something nice to wear. 
“Come on.” Gaz says, slapping your thigh before standing. “We’re going shopping.” 
“What?” You glance between him and Johnny as they stand over you. 
“Already got permission from Price.” Johnny says. “So come on.” He grabs your hands, lifting you to your feet easily. “Let’s get goin’, kitten.” 
Your cheeks warm at the pet name, Johnny’s hand settling on your lower back to steer you from the rec room. You don’t have much of a choice but to follow, grabbing a couple things from your room before you leave the barracks with them to a car parked outside. It’s different from the car you and Price had taken to town last weekend. Of course, they probably all have their own vehicles, or at least a few at their disposal. 
“I’m driving.” Gaz says, plucking the keys from Johnny’s hand. 
“Aww, ye never let me drive!” Johnny pouts. 
“Yeah, because with our luck you’ll traumatize her so badly, she’ll never want to leave again.” Gaz says, opening the driver’s side door. 
You can’t help but giggle at the dejected look on Johnny’s face as you get into the back, Johnny muttering the entire way to the passenger side. 
“I’m no’ that bad of a driver.” Johnny says, buckling his seatbelt. 
“Yeah, but both you and Simon seem to be in agreement that the speed limit is a suggestion, not a law.” Gaz says as he turns on the car. “I’d like to make it there and back in one piece, thank you. Besides, Price would have both our heads if anything happened to our girl on our watch.”
Your cheeks warm as you meet Gaz's gaze through the rear view mirror. Your heart flutters at the look in his eyes, the dedication and protectiveness shining in them. 
“I wouldnae let anything happen to ye.” Johnny says, reaching back to squeeze your knee for a moment. 
You stare out the window of the car as Gaz drives towards town, half listening to the conversation in the front seat. You're beginning to recognize landmarks, buildings, areas between the base and town despite it only being your second trip. They'd be proud of you, you think. At least if something happened, you'd be able to give a landmark. 
The farmlands fade into the city and soon Gaz is parking on the street in front of a shop. You take Gaz's hand as he helps you out of the car, lacing your fingers together. Soap holds the door to the shop open, letting you and Gaz walk through first. 
It's a nice boutique filled with all sorts of formal wear. You wonder how they even knew about this place, or if they had done some research beforehand. Both make you feel honored that they would even go to those lengths just for you. 
They are going to be your pack soon. 
Packs do this sort of thing for each other. They take care of each other, spoil each other, make each other happy. It’s hard to be a good pack if one member is unhappy. 
“Good afternoon.” One of the workers approaches you. “My name is Emily. Is there something I can help you find today?” 
“Our omega has a date with our alpha this weekend.” Gaz says, smiling down at you. “She needs something to wear.” 
The worker, Emily, smiles at you. “How exciting! Did you have anything in mind? Style, color, anything like that?”
“Probably nothing too fancy,” You say, eyeing the racks. “And, probably a dress.”
“Alright, we've got lots of options for that. Let's take a look and you can try some on.” Emily says. 
Gaz keeps hold of your hand as you follow Emily through the racks, looking at some of the options. Johnny goes off on his own, perusing the racks himself. 
“Is there a certain color you have in mind?” Emily asks you.
You hum in contemplation, looking at the many racks. You're not sure what color Price would like, or if he even has a favorite. 
“His favorite color is blue, like a dark navy blue.” Johnny answers for you. “Though, I think he'd like you in any color.” 
You can't help the way your cheeks warm a bit at Johnny's words. You realize you don't even know their favorite colors. There's still so much about them that's a mystery to you. 
“What's your favorite color?” You ask, looking up at Gaz. 
“I don't think I have just one.” He says, running his hand over a sequin covered dress on the rack in front of you “I like warm colors. Reds, oranges, purples.”
“Like a sunset.” You say, looking at a tag on one of the dresses, nearly choking at the price. 
Gaz gently removes the tag from your hand, giving you a look as you meet his gaze. “Don't even worry about it, love.” He says quietly, leaning down to kiss your cheek. 
“My favorite color is green.” Johnny says, appearing next to you suddenly. 
“Let me guess, Ghost’s is black.” You say. 
Johnny's mouth twitches. “Now how'd you come to guess that?” 
You shrug, unable to hide your grin. “Call it intuition.” 
Emily takes you to the changing rooms, the boys taking seats outside to wait for you to try on the dresses you've chosen so far. You pick a sleeveless, blue, knee-length dress first with a ruched skirt. You already don't like it, but you know the guys will want to see it regardless. 
You feel nervous, strangely exposed as you step out of the dressing room and make your way to where the guys are sitting. They both straighten up as you approach, Johnny’s eyes immediately on your legs. Gaz let's out a low whistle as his eyes scan your figure, ending on your legs as well. 
“What?” You ask concerned as you stare down at your own legs thinking the worst, like how you might have missed a spot shaving or something. 
“Nothin’ love,” Gaz says, unable to lift his gaze from your legs. “Just never seen you in anything but long pants before.”
Your cheeks warm at his words. It's true, the climate had yet to allow for anything but long pants. Even to sleep, you found yourself too cold without long sleep pants. 
“Christ, you've got gorgeous legs, kitten.” Soap says, letting his eyes trail your form. “Keepin’ those hidden from us?” 
Your face feels like it's on fire as they stare at you, and quickly turn to face the large mirror across from them in an attempt to steady the butterflies in your stomach. 
“What do you think?” Emily asks, stepping up next to you. 
“It's a little too...churchy for a date.” You say smoothing your hands over the skirt. “Definitely need something fancier than this.”
You try on a few of the others, but none of them are right. Too short, too long, too formal, not formal enough. Johnny brings you more to try, a couple sticking out, but you're not sold on any of them. 
The last dress you have yet to try on catches your eye as you pull it off the hook. It's a deep blue color, almost black. It's long sleeved and covers your front entirely, but the back is open. It's short, the skirt hem long enough to cover your ass, but you wouldn't dare bend over. It hugs your figure, accentuating the curves and lines of your body. 
Your cheeks are warm as you step out of the changing room, both Gaz and Johnny going slack-jawed as they stare at you. Even Emily looks in awe as you stand in front of them. 
“I think you've found the one, love.” Gaz says, his eyes trailing your form. “Give us a spin.”
You do a slow turn, not missing the way their eyes widen in the mirror when they see the back, Johnny still frozen as you turn back to face them. 
“How do you feel?” Emily asks, stepping up to you. 
“Good.” You say, your face still warm. “Really good.”
“Yeah,” She says, looking you over. “I think you've hit the mark with this one. Let me grab shoes and we'll put the whole look together.”
You turn to face the mirror as she steps away, your eyes meeting Gaz's as he steps up to you. 
“You look fantastic, love.” He says, leaning in close over your shoulder, his breath fanning your ear. Goosebumps form on your skin as his fingers slowly trail up the line of your spine. “Price is going to want to devour you instantly as soon as he sees you in this one.”
You shiver at his words, biting your lip as his fingers splay out across your upper back. “You think so?”
There's a mischievous glint in his eyes as he holds your gaze through the mirror. “He won't be able to keep his hands off you. Gonna drive him insane, making him sit through dinner looking like a delicious dessert.” 
You fear you might start smoking from how warm you feel, glad for Emily's reappearance. You try on the shoes she brings, opting for the shorter heels for the sake of your own dignity. 
Johnny distracts you as Gaz pays for the items, spending far too much on you but neither will let you complain. It's what they're supposed to do. 
They are your pack after all. 
“What about lingerie?” Johnny asks, turning to look at you as you sit in the car. 
Your face burns at his question. You hadn't thought about that bit. 
“Gotta dress up the whole fit.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you. 
“Lay off her, perv.” Gaz says, smacking Johnny's chest. “He's right though, gotta make sure the whole outfit matches.”
You feel like you might implode in the backseat. You might not make it to Saturday at this rate. 
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You wake early on Saturday. You don't have to be up early. There's nothing going on until tonight, no need for you to rise earlier than the sun. Yet, you can't help the anticipation burning in your stomach, the nervous fluttering in your chest. Tonight you're going to sleep with Price for the first time. Tonight you'll allow him closer than you've ever allowed anyone. 
You have an outfit, you have fancy underwear, even new shoes. You're not sure how you want to wear your hair. You're not sure on makeup either, though Price has seen you plenty without it and has yet to offer any complaints. 
You grab your phone, laying in bed and scrolling hair tutorials until the sun comes up and you start hearing movement in the hallway. You don’t bother changing, pulling on shoes before stepping out. You are hungry, even after spending half the day in town and eating dinner out with Gaz and Johnny yesterday. You slip out the door, coming face to face with Ghost. You tilt your head back, staring up at him. 
“Didn’t expect to see you.” He grumbles. “Figured you’d be busy getting ready.” 
“I’ve got like ten hours until I have to be ready.” You say, blinking up at him. “It doesn’t take that long.” 
He lets out a huff, rolling his eyes. “Come on.” 
You follow him out of the barracks, but you find yourself not having to speed walk quite as fast to keep up with him today. 
“Are you upset?” You ask, kicking up your pace a bit so you can walk side by side with him. 
“About what?” He asks. 
“Price and I.” You say. 
“Why would I be?” He sounds genuinely baffled that you’re asking him. 
You shrug. “You’re an alpha in the pack too, and I didn’t really ask anyone but Price.” 
“Price is your alpha.” He says, as if it’s the most straightforward thing in the world. He’s not wrong, Price is the only one that really matters when it comes to you, since he’s the pack alpha, and he’ll be the one claiming you. 
“Would you ever want to be?” You ask, looking up at him. 
He meets your gaze as he opens the door to the mess, not answering as you slip into the hall. He stands closer to you than he normally does as you get in line for food, tailing you like a shadow as you find Johnny among the drowsy and hungover soldiers in the mess. 
You take a seat across from him, Ghost taking his spot next to Johnny. You can feel the nerves beginning to take hold as you eat, thinking about your date tonight. It’s not like you really have to impress Price much, though you suppose you could make him dislike you rather easily. You’d rather avoid that situation, as there’s no getting out of mating and being claimed by him. You’re going to be part of his pack whether he likes you or not. 
What if he finds you boring? You’re not even sure what you could talk about. It’s not like you do much, and he already knows most everything he can about you. The only thing you have to talk about are things you’d rather not discuss during your first date. You’d prefer not to discuss them at all. 
“You’ll be fine.” Johnny says as you walk back to the barracks. “Just get ‘im talking, and ye won’t need tae worry about gettin’ a word in yourself.” 
Johnny’s words do make you giggle. You’re sure Price has so much more to talk about than you do. You barely know anything about him in general. 
It’s ironic that you’re more nervous about dinner than you are about the fact Price is going to take your virginity tonight. 
You did ask for this. It’ll be good, getting to know him before your heat starts. The idea of going through your heat with a virtual stranger is terrifying to you, and Price had so willingly offered to do this so that doesn’t happen, so you feel more comfortable with being mated and claimed by someone you at least somewhat know. This is your chance to get to know your pack alpha, your alpha before you’re forced to. This is your chance to make your own decision, to have some control over a life that’s been dictated for you this far. 
You spend the morning in a nervous panic, looking up tips online, tutorials, possible questions he might ask and thinking up answers that will make you sound interesting at least. Answers that won’t just be parroting things that he already knows. Gaz brings you lunch, letting you continue to prepare for your date, knowing the chances of you having a breakdown if you’re forced around people are high right now. 
You give yourself ample time to get ready, showering and moisturizing, making sure you smell clean and look nice. You do your hair, taking your time to make yourself look decent. You opt for minimal make up, wanting to make yourself seem like you at least put a little effort into your looks. 
You're strapping on your shoes when the knock comes at the door. Six o'clock sharp, just as you expected. You take a deep breath, adjusting your dress before you open the door.
John is standing on the other side, dressed in a button up shirt and slacks. You look him over, the fresh scent of cologne reaching your nose. His eyes rake your form, his scent slipping through the cologne as his gaze darkens a bit. Gaz was right. He does look like he wants to devour you. 
“You clean up nicely.” You say, looking him over again. His shirt hugs his muscles nicely, his pants obviously tailored to fit him. You haven't seen him in anything but fatigues and civilian clothes so far. 
“Was going to say the same to you.” He says, lips pulling up into a smile. “You look beautiful, sweetheart.” 
Your cheeks warm at the compliment. “Thank you.”
“Hungry?” He asks, offering you an arm. 
“Always.” You say, taking his arm, letting him lead you towards the rec room. 
The lights inside are dimmed, the table usually reserved for games set up with a tablecloth and candles, along with two plates covered with cloches, and a bottle of wine. You're not sure when he managed to procure the wine, or maybe he had it saved and decided this was as good a time as any. 
“Wow.” You say, impressed by the effort he obviously put into everything. 
“I bribed the boys out of here for a few hours.” He says, leading you to the table. “Wasn't easy.”
“I bet.” You say, sitting down in one of the chairs, letting him push it in for you. 
He pours you both glasses of wine before taking the cloches off the plates. You blink in surprise at the meal on the plate. Spaghetti, a salad, and bread. It's so simple, yet it takes you right back to weeknight dinners at home. 
“You made this?” You ask as he takes the seat across from you. 
He nods. “I've amassed many skills over the years. I'm no five star chef, but I can throw things together in a pinch.”
“Well it looks good.” You say, picking up your fork. 
It tastes good too. It's so simple, yet it's one of the best things you've eaten in the last month. You miss a lot of things about America, and the food is starting to be one of those. 
You and John make small talk as you eat, the wine warming your body and easing your nerves. 
“How long has it been,” You ask him as you clear your plate. “Since you were with an omega last?”
“Two years.” He says, taking a sip of wine. 
Your eyes widen in surprise. You know they've been with omegas in the past, taking advantage of barrack bunnies and the swaths of willing omegas you know populate near military bases. You just hadn't thought it would be that far back in the past.
“Right around the time the task force was created.” He continues. “We were too busy bonding and working on the task force, by the time we had a moment long enough for anything like that, we didn't need them anymore.”
“That must have been torture.” You say, staring at him wide eyed. 
“We're trained for that sort of thing.” He says with a smile. “How to fight off those urges, those needs. When you're in the field, something like that could get you killed. You don't pass selection into the SAS until you can show mastery over those skills.”
“Damn.” You say, taking a sip of your wine. “Still, it couldn't have been easy.”
“It can be hard, once you've been with an omega, to go without. But that's just part of the job.” 
“Well, I suppose that's partly why I'm here.” You say, huffing out a laugh. 
“Perhaps.” He says. “I'm certain we're not getting the full story.”
The double meaning isn't lost on you. There's a lot they don't know about you, things that are safer buried deep where they can't hurt anyone. Things you'd like to keep buried for the rest of time. 
“It’s nothing...bad is it?” You ask, searching his gaze. 
“I’d like to think not,” He says. 
But... 
You don’t need to hear him say it. You know it’s there, lingering at the end of that statement. You wonder how many times he’s been in these situations, forced to place blind trust in someone and hope they have the best intentions in mind. You’re all too familiar with those sorts of situations. Putting blind trust in strangers was your life purpose as soon as you presented as an omega. 
“We’re not going to let anything happen to you.” He says, staring at you with such conviction you can’t help but believe him. “You’re part of our pack, which makes you part of this team, even if bureaucracy says otherwise. We take care of each other, and that includes you. You’re our omega, regardless of whatever the endgame is for this initiative.” 
You feel almost breathless at his words, at his declaration of loyalty to you. You know how much loyalty means to someone like him, the kind of promise words like that uphold. They’d give their lives to defend you. You’d fight to defend them too, if it came down to it. Not that you could do much, but you’d try. 
“You’re my omega.” John says, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. “I take care of what's mine.”
You nod, trying to fight the tears welling in your eyes. “I know. You've...you've been a better alpha than I could have ever hoped for. Despite everything you've been kind and caring and understanding. I know some things we learned at the institute weren’t right, but...I was expecting a lot worse.”
His thumb draws circles on the back of your hand, his fingers gently squeezing yours. “I'm glad I could prove that wrong. I know this situation is weird and less than ideal, but I fear I'll have to tell Kate she was right. She did pick a good omega.”
You smile, preening a bit under his praise. “That’s all I can try to be.” 
“You can be so much more than that.” He says, lifting your hand to his lips. His beard tickles your skin as he presses a line of kisses across the back of your hand before turning it, kissing across your palm to your wrist. He presses his nose against the skin there, inhaling deeply. “You’re sure, about tonight?” 
Your fingers brush his cheek as he holds your hand against his face. Your heart is thudding your throat at the proximity, those nervous flutters starting in your stomach again. He’s giving you an out, a chance to take back what you had asked for. You know he wouldn’t blame you. He was more than willing to wait for your heat to start, for when you had no choice, when it would mean less because you would be desperate and needy for him. 
You don’t want that, though. You want him to want you before his instincts tell him he does. You want to know he’s not just fulfilling a duty, scratching an itch that’s been tickling him for two years now. You want him to want you as you are now. You want him to choose you. 
“Yes.” You say, pressing your palm flat against his cheek. “Just...be gentle with me?” 
“Of course.” He says, kissing your palm again. “You change your mind at any time, you tell me, yeah?” 
You nod. “Yeah.” 
“Good.” He takes your hand in his again, standing from his seat. 
Nerves mix with excitement as he pulls you to your feet with him, stepping up close to you. His hand lifts, tilting your chin up. Your stomach flutters as you meet his gaze, his eyes warm and soft as he stares at you. Affection shines in them as his thumb brushes your lip before he’s leaning down, pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss is short and sweet, like the ones you’ve shared with him before. Yet, at the same time it feels different. There’s warmth beginning to blossom under your skin, the kiss not just a simple sign of affection this time. It’s the overture, the appetizer, just a teasing taste of what’s to come. 
You hold his hand as he leads you down the hallway, heels clacking on the tile floor. It makes your face warm, the thought that they all know what it means, they can hear it and they know what’s about to happen. They know where you’re going, what you’re about to do. 
John opens his door, motioning for you to enter. You haven’t been in any of their rooms yet, you haven’t invaded their own sacred spaces. Your steps are slow and cautious as you breach that barrier, John’s scent washing over you as you step into his room. 
It’s neat and tidy, just as you expected it would be. It’s not laid out all that differently from your own, though perhaps a bit more organized and clinical than yours. There’s a shelf next to his nightstand, stuffed with books and what you can assume are souvenirs from places he’s been. There’s stacks of papers on the desk, his clothes and shoes tucked away neatly in their places. His bed is slightly bigger than yours, and you wonder if that’s a perk of his status, or if he pulled some strings once he learned he was getting an omega. 
The door clicking shut draws your attention back to John, the click of the handle a finality. You’re doing this. There’s no going back now. 
Not that you want to. 
John steps up to you, staring down at you. You stare up into his eyes as his hand comes to rest on your waist, his touch hot through the thin fabric of your dress. “You’re sure you want to do this?” He asks, voice rumbling in his chest. 
You nod, your hands slowly sliding up his arms, feeling the muscle hidden beneath his dress shirt. “Yes.” 
His lips meet yours, beard tickling your skin as he kisses you. You let him lead, leaning into him as he pulls you closer against his chest. He’s so warm, so firm under your hands as you grip his shoulders. His hand slides from your hip to your back, a gasp parting your lips as his calloused fingers touch the bare skin of your back. Goosebumps raise on your skin, a shiver running down your spine at his touch. He tilts his head, taking advantage of your parted lips to slip his tongue into your mouth.
He tastes like wine, a quiet sound leaving your throat as he pulls you tighter against him, pressing your body into his. You can feel all of him, the hard ridges, the strength in his body as he cages you in his arms. Your head is spinning, intoxicated purely by the smell and taste of him. 
Something rumbles deep in his chest, your entire body shivering in response. Your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, your hips pressed flush against his. You can feel him, the bulge in his pants pressing against your stomach. You’ve been able to smell the musky tinge of arousal in his scent all evening, and you wonder how long he’s been hard. Has it been since he saw you? Or has he been thinking about this all day? 
The thought thrills you, makes your omega preen in the back of your mind. You did this. Your alpha is all worked up because of you. 
A whimper leaves your lips as his hand slips lower, smoothing over the curve of your ass. He mumbles a curse against your lips before they blaze a path down the line of your jaw to your neck. You tilt your head, bearing your throat for him. A low rumble of approval vibrates through his chest, his hand squeezing your ass. The sound has your omega practically belly up, the dampness between your thighs intensifying as your scent gets heavier in the air. 
John groans against your throat, teeth nipping at your neck just over your scent gland. “Such a good girl for me.” He groans, his hand on your ass guiding your hips to grind against his. “Such a good omega.” 
You whine at the praise, hands blindly sliding down his chest to pull at the buttons of his shirt. Your fingers are trembling slightly from excitement, fumbling as you attempt to get his shirt off. You need to feel him, his skin against yours, the warmth of him pressed against you. 
“Easy pup.” His voice rumbles against your throat, teeth nipping at the delicate skin before he pulls back, hands taking over to strip him of his button up and undershirt. 
You lick your lips as his skin is revealed to you, your hand automatically lifting to touch him. You hesitate for a half a second but he makes no move to stop you. Your eyes trail over his form, over the many, many scars that decorate his skin like some kind of macabre painting. Lines and jagged slices, the telltale star shaped marks of bullet wounds. Cuts and nicks from knives or bullets, you can’t tell the difference. 
Your fingers settle on a rather large scar on his side, starting at the base of his ribs and curling around his side. It’s an old scar, but the skin is still rough and uneven. Whatever had caused it, it took a chunk out of him. You don’t want to think about it, about how every scar could have been a close call. How many times he’s been on the brink of death. 
“I’ll tell you about them later.” He says, taking your hand in his and lifting it to his lips. He kisses your fingertips, his beard tickling your skin. “Tonight is about you.” 
He pulls you close again, leaning down to press his lips to yours. His hands are warm against your back as he wraps himself around you again, trapping your hands against his bare chest. Your nails dig into his skin as his hands sink lower, grabbing handfuls of your ass. He groans, sinking his teeth into your bottom lip. He presses you backwards, and you trust him to guide you until your legs hit the side of his bed. 
“Gonna be a good girl for me, yeah?” He growls, his voice rough around the edges as his alpha slips through. 
“Yes, alpha!” You gasp against his lips, your head tilting back in submission. 
“Always such a good omega for me.” He praises you, teeth nipping at your throat. “Good omegas kneel for their alphas.” He says, pushing you backwards so you plop down on his bed. “But a good alpha,” He slowly lowers himself before you, dropping to one knee, then the other as his hands wrap around your ankles. “Kneels for his omega.”
Your face warms as you stare down at him, unable to do anything but watch as his hands make quick work of your shoes, setting them neatly beside the bed. His skin is rough against yours as his hands drag up your legs, slowly parting them. He moves himself closer, kneeling between your parted thighs. His beard scratches the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he reaches up, pushing on your stomach until you're laying flat on his bed. He can see up your skirt now, and you're silently glad for the lacy panties Johnny had insisted on. 
“Do you trust me?” His lips brush your inner thigh as his hands pause just at the hem of your skirt where it's ridden up almost to your hips. 
“Yes, alpha.” You say, lifting your head to stare down at him. 
He meets your gaze as he presses a kiss to your inner thigh, his hands continuing to press upwards until your dress is hiked around your waist. Your heart is fluttering rapidly in your chest as you stare down at him, his gaze leaving your eyes to stare at the soaked lace barely covering your most private parts. 
His hands leave your hips to curl around the lace, giving it a sharp tug. The fabric snaps easily, the shreds falling to the floor. Your lip part as you stare at him in shock.  
“I'll buy you a new pair.” He says, his hands gripping your thighs to pull them further apart. 
The cool air in the room hits your slicked folds, making you shudder. He's barely touched you and already you can feel how slick you are. His lips press against your inner thigh again, blazing a path upwards. His gaze meets yours again as his hands shift to grip your hips, adjusting your position on the bed before he leans in, dragging his tongue through your folds. 
You gasp at the foreign sensation, your thighs pressing against his broad shoulders. His mouth is warm as it closes over your pussy, his tongue licking another slow stripe up your folds until he reaches the spot that has your inhale turning into a gasp. 
He focuses his attention there, dragging slow lines across your clit with his tongue. You let your arms give out, laying flat on the bed again. Little whimpers leave your lips as he teases your clit, your thighs already trembling. It’s been so long since you’ve touched yourself. Not since before you left the institute four months ago. 
You don’t last very long. 
Your thighs squeeze around his shoulders as your orgasm is ripped from you suddenly. You let out a cry that’s probably too loud, but you don’t care who could have heard you as your back arches off the bed, pressing your hips closer to John’s face. His hands hold your thighs, keeping you still as his tongue continues to tease your clit, working you through your orgasm. 
It’s not until you’re writhing in his grasp, letting out little whimpers that he relents, lifting his face from between your thighs. His beard is shiny with your juices, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. It’s obscene and yet, it has heat pulsing straight between your legs again. He lets out a chuckle, the scent of your arousal washing over him. 
“Fuckin sweet as sugar, love.” He says as he pushes himself up from between your legs, his body folding over yours on the bed. 
His face presses into your neck, inhaling deeply. Your pussy flutters at the thought of him claiming you now, sinking his teeth into your skin to mark you as his forever. He could. It would be so easy for him to do it. His tongue laves over the skin covering your scent gland, a shiver running through you. Your arms wrap around him, holding him against you as your scents mingle, musky with arousal. 
“Alpha...” You whine, your hips pressing up against the bulge in his pants. He’s fully hard now, the fabric of his pants providing delicious friction against your folds. 
He shushes you, pressing a kiss to your throat before he pushes himself up over you. “Soon, love.” He says, moving until he’s standing in front of you. “Think you’re a bit overdressed still.” 
Your eyes dart down to his pants. “So are you.” 
He smirks, his hands dropping to your waist, slowly pushing your dress up higher. You let him slip it over your head, lifting your arms to help him. You’re bare before him, warmth spreading through your veins as he stares down at you. Your hands lift, coming to rest on his thighs. You can feel the muscle through the fabric, the strength of him beneath your hands. How easily he could take control, pin you down and take what he wants with little regard for you or your pleasure. How easily he could hurt you, snap your bones like they’re toothpicks, bruise and batter your body without even straining a muscle. 
Yet he stands here, patiently watching as your hands move closer and closer to the prominent bulge in his fitted pants. He doesn’t even twitch as your hand cups his hard length, your breath stuttering at the sheer size of him. He’s big like most alphas are, or so you’ve heard. 
His eyes stare into you as you undo his belt, popping the button on his pants open. He finally moves as you pull down the zipper, helping you tug his pants and briefs down. His cock stands at attention, almost as stiff as he is. You stare at his veiny cock with wide eyes, the tip flushed almost red with how hard he is. 
“Christ.” You breathe, staring at him in awe. 
You did that. 
“Easy, love.” He says, leaning down to wrap an arm around your waist. “I said tonight was about you.” 
He moves you so you’re laid out on the bed, your head hitting his pillow. The scent of him floods your nose as he joins you on the bed, the frame creaking as he kneels between your legs. Nerves twist in your stomach as you continue to stare at his cock bobbing between his thighs as he runs his hands along your legs. It’s going to hurt, you know that. It suddenly seems daunting, this request. At least during your heat you’d be so out of it with need you wouldn’t really feel anything. And you’d have plenty of slick to help. 
“None of that.” He says, squeezing your thighs gently. “I told you I’d take care of you.” 
You nod, swallowing thickly. 
“We’ve got more work to do before we reach that point. I’m not just going to stuff my cock into you like some needy pup.” He stares at you. “You tell me and I’ll stop, alright?” 
You nod again. “Yes, alpha.” 
Your breath hitches as his hands reach the junction of your thighs, one moving to your stomach, the other dragging through your folds, gathering your wetness on his fingers. They’re so much thicker than your own, your pussy clenching as he presses against the entrance. 
“Relax for me, love.” He says, rubbing gentle circles on your stomach with his thumb. 
His finger presses into you and your lips part at the intrusion. You clamp tight around his finger, making him groan. 
“Easy.” He says, his thumb moving to circle your clit. 
A breathy whine leaves your lips as his finger presses deeper into you, reaching further than you ever could. Your hand reaches up to thread through his hair, letting the short cropped strands slide through your fingers. It’s softer than you imagined, though you expect he too had spent the afternoon preparing for tonight as well. The mental image of him lathering himself in moisturizer would have made you laugh if his finger hadn’t brushed against a spot inside you that has your hips lifting off the bed. 
He leans down, lips blazing a path up your stomach, between your breasts to your throat. He swallows your moans as he works you open with his fingers, the lewd sound of his fingers thrusting into your wet pussy only adding to the pleasure coursing through you. You can feel it building within you, heat burning through your veins. Price groans against your lips as your nails scratch his scalp, his cock leaking against your thigh. You want him, need him inside of you. You need to feel him, you need to be close to him. 
“Alpha, please.” You whimper, tugging at his hair. 
He stares down at you, eyes blown with lust. “Please, what?” 
“Need you.” You whimper, grinding against his hand. “Please, sir.” 
Price closes his eyes, letting out a groan. His cock twitches against your thigh, his fingers slipping from you. He breathes out a curse, shifting to open his nightstand. He pulls out a bottle of lube, sitting back on his knees to squirt some into his hand. You’re plenty slick, but you watch as he rubs the lube on his cock, tossing the bottle back into the open drawer. 
He kneels between your thighs again, staring down at you as one of his hands comes to rest on your hip. You feel intoxicated, your head spinning from the intensity of his scent around you and the knowledge of what’s about to happen. 
Price folds his body over yours again, the head of his cock brushing your folds. You moan into his mouth as he kisses you, parting your thighs further for him as his tip catches on your opening. Your hands grip his shoulders as he presses into you, the stretch stinging a bit as he works you open. This is it. There’s no going back now. 
You don’t want to. 
You whimper quietly as he pushes into you, nails biting into his skin. It’s too much, yet you can’t get enough of it as he sinks further in. You let out a shaky breath as he pulls away from your lips staring down at your face. 
“Alright?” He asks, stilling where he is. 
You nod. “Just need a moment. You’re really big.” 
His lips twitch up into a smile, a pleased growl rumbling through his chest. “Don’t start talking like that, love.” He says, leaning down to press kisses to your face. 
“Or what?” You ask, your nails digging harder into his skin. 
“I might not be able to control myself.” He growls, his alpha slipping out around the edges of his voice. 
Your pussy clenches at his words, walls clamping down around him. He lets out another growl, hiking your leg up over his hip. It forces him deeper into you, your breath catching at the feeling of him spreading you open. 
“Fuck,” You breathe, rocking your hips to take him even deeper into you. 
John’s arms frame your head as he presses his body against yours. Your arms slip around his back, legs locking around his waist as he begins to move slowly, working himself deeper and deeper into you until he’s pressed flush against you. He stills for a moment, pressing his forehead to yours as you both breathe. You’re trembling just slightly, overwhelmed with being so close to him, to your alpha. The pain and discomfort is gone, replaced by burning heat as desire pulses through your veins. 
“Please, alpha.” You whimper. 
He shushes you, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. “I’ve got you, omega.” 
Your skin is slick with sweat already as he begins to rock his hips into you. Your hands press into his back, feeling the muscles shift and flex as he moves. It feels good, the friction of your bodies, the way he stretches you open with every thrust. Your head is spinning with pleasure at the thought of being so close to another person, being so connected with someone else. 
Not just someone else, with your alpha. 
The wet squelch of your pussy as he thrusts into you is loud, the mattress creaking as he picks up speed. You’re trembling, your thighs squeezing around his hips as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge. You’re not sure how he’s lasted this long, especially without any sort of release for himself yet tonight. 
Perhaps it was the training he spoke about earlier.
You’re not sure how he manages it. You couldn’t have that kind of control. Not after this. Not after knowing how good it can feel, how good he can make you feel. 
“Fucking feel so good.” He grunts, his breath fanning her ear. His own skin is slicked with sweat, muscles twitching under her hands. “So fucking tight and warm.” 
“John!” You gasp, digging your fingers into his shoulder blades as he picks up the pace even more, his hips snapping against yours. 
“Gonna cum for me? Gonna cum like a good omega? Need you to cum for me.” He grunts, staring down at you. 
You let out a whine, arching against him as you seek your second high of the night. His cock brushes that spot inside of you, stars nearly erupting behind your eyes. 
“Right there.” You gasp, thighs shaking around his hips. “Fuck, right there!” 
You’re being loud but you don’t care, nails dragging down his back as he focuses his thrusts right at that spot inside you. You cum with a cry, pussy squeezing around him. He lets out a loud groan, his hips stilling as he twitches inside you. His muscles go lax, his body falling on top of yours. He manages to keep himself from squishing you beneath him, his face pressing against your neck. 
The smell of sex, arousal, sweat, and your own combined scents are heavy in the air. You’re shaking, still wrapped tightly around John as he lays on top of you. He’s breathing heavily, warm breaths fanning against your neck. You don’t want to move, your mind buzzing with the aftershocks of your orgasm still. 
“Alright?” He murmurs, lips pressing a gentle kiss against your throat. 
You nod, slowly unwinding yourself from around him. “Yeah. ‘M good.” 
“Fucking Christ, a man could get addicted to that.” He says, lifting his face from your neck. “Sweet little omega.” 
Your face warms more than it already feels, and you lean into his touch as his fingers brush your cheek. 
“Let me go get something to clean this mess up with.” He says, pushing himself up so he’s kneeling. 
You can’t help but giggle as his joints pop and he lets out a groan at the effort. “Need a break, old man.” 
His eyes flash playfully, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Going with the old man insults again, huh?” 
You give him a look. “You’re the one grunting while getting up.” 
You let out a surprised yelp as he brings his hand down on your thigh, the skin tingling as he gets up. “I’ll show you old man.” He murmurs as he heads for his en suite. 
You bite your lip as you begin to feel his release slipping out of you, the feeling causing desire to stir in your stomach once more. 
John tsks as he comes back, wiping the mess between your thighs. “Needy little thing.” He practically purrs, stepping away to toss the rag into the bathroom sink before he returns, climbing back onto the bed.
You press as close to him as you can, nuzzling into his neck. Your limbs are still twitching a bit, your mind buzzing from the aftermath of what had just transpired. John wraps his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. You press a gentle kiss to his neck, earning a rumble in response. Your own rumble starts up as you purr contently, tossing a leg over his hip to allow you to get as close to him as possible. 
He huffs out a laugh, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Comfortable?” 
You purr louder in response, sleep beginning to fog the corners of your mind. 
“Good girl.” He says, pressing another kiss to your head. “Sleep. Alpha’s got you.”
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hanaonesflower · 12 days
Text
“let me do this for you.”
“let me get that for you.”
“don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
when nanami was around, it was like being watched by a hawk. not in a bad way of course, just not a way you're probably used to. he is always on it, taking care of everything from beginning to end, hell bent on you not ever lifting a finger and actually bar you from doing it, even behind his back.
"seriously, kento, I can do it myself!"
"absolutely not, you worked all day, when you come home, I take care of you."
you try to bargain, dishing out facts that he, too, has a full time job that usually pushes him to the brink of exhaustion that he may or may not recover from, yet, here he is, elbows deep in dough, insistent on making pasta from scratch. according to a recipe that you may have briefly mentioned weeks ago that you wanted to try.
you tried to pick up the knife and dice the tomatoes or turn on the stove, he shoos you away.
"this is getting out of control, kento."
"you can help me by taking a nice warm long bath, honey."
nanami knows what he's doing, the majority of the time. but will he ever express that he fumbles from time to time? never. not that his ego is inflated, but because he has prided himself for being to care for you boundlessly.
so when you leave the bath and find kento with his hand in a bucket of ice water, you realize something have gone south in the kitchen.
"kento! what happened?!"
"nothing to worry about my l-"
"enough! tell me, now."
your stern voice and attitude stun him, he's never seen you like this before. his behavior is downright concerning, he hasn't always been this way though. sure, he loves by serving, but he isn't always this stubborn or ridiculously protective. you have always cooked together, why would it be different this time, or the last few times within the past couple of months. nanami isn't unreasonable, but he can be if something pricked at his pride.
"I may have burned myself with the hot steam."
"may have? your skin is having a terrible reaction! for a smart man you can be so clumsy sometimes."
"it's not that bad."
you glare.
"okay, it's pretty burnt and it hurts."
"I bet it does."
you slowly pull his hand out from the ice bucket and lead him to the kitchen table and command him to sit still when you fetch the first aid. his palm is raw from the burn and his face twists in pain when you apply some pressure.
there isn't much conversation exchanged between you and him, but something is definitely hanging above your heads. kento seems to be closed off to it, but you're willing to get to the root of things.
"you haven't been yourself lately."
silence.
"I feel like this is not just about providing for me, something happened, and it affected you."
kento looks saddened by this. you are spot on. something did happen.
a few months ago, during a dinner party amongst friends, kento found himself begrudgingly involved in unpleasant conversations with his colleagues, the way they audaciously questioned his ability to care for his partner when he was always away on work trips or spending extra time at work. he took it to heart, kento questioned himself. he realized, that even though his colleagues were terribly annoying and invasive, they made some considerable points. he made the executive decision to fully take over, spinning a complete 180 on you. at first you thought it was sweet, until it became authoritarian.
"that's really how you feel?"
"have I been absent to you, y/n?"
you contemplate for a while, you truly wish he is around more, but you always understand the nature of his job.
"I do wish I can see you more often, when you had that 2-week long vacation, I was able to spend such amazing quality time with you, and it was awesome, but I also understand how your job is. I didn't want to come in between that."
"so I have been absent." he moaned defeatedly.
"please don't blame it on yourself like this, it's not healthy, I still love you, kento."
"this is all my fault, y/n, I should have been there for you more."
truthfully, you wish he was, but once again, you are both stuck between a rock and a hard place.
"have you been doing all this to somehow compensate?"
"is it working?"
he is trying to humor you, although at quite a horrid time, you still crack a smile.
"I think it's very kind of you."
he sighs.
"please, forgive me, my love. I became what you called a workaholic, I tried to get more hours to provide for you, only to come short in other aspects."
"I'm not an unemployed housewife, kento."
“this isn’t my way of saying that you are incapacitated in any way, i just wish that you didn’t have to worry about anything,” he groaned from the incessant gnawing of the antiseptic on his burnt wound.
“kento, this is a partnership, you’re not my servant and i’m not a spoiled brat,” he felt a little silly, nanami knew this fact yet he felt impotent in this sense. he opened and closed his lips, hoping to get his point across even further but nothing seemed good enough at theis point, he’s done fighting.
“whatever you’re going to say, it’s not going to change the fact that i love you,” you silence him.
“then can i say that i love you, too?”
“that, you can.”
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒ ⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒ ⭒˚‧
note: PHEEeewww… it’s really good to be back :33 this piece shall be the redebut as it is one of my cuter fics. going back with smut pieces after such a long hiatus didn’t feel right so – soft nanami is always the way to go!! more content will be coming soon (smut included >.>), stay tuned ( ˘ ³˘)
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Text
Instinct (S.R.)
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Summary: Spencer explains the biology of sex to Reader during the act. Request: Spencer Reid explaining what happens to your body during an orgasm while giving you one 🥵 Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Fingering, biological processes, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, mild degradation/dumbification Word Count: 1k
MASTERLIST
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When you find yourself in Spencer’s bed, there is no time to wonder what led you there. You have no interest in debating it, either. Your attention is diverted, devoted to more pressing things—things like the feel of his hands on your hips and his lips on your neck.
You’d never even allowed yourself to wonder what instinct drove you straight into his arms… not until his mouth shifts to your ear.
“Do you want to know why you’re really here?” he asks.
You nod before you’ve even considered the question.
This was the correct answer, and he rewards you by sneaking a hand between your thighs.
“You’re here because I want you to be,” he says, “and humans are, at their core, simple animals acting on the same instinct as everything else.”
You try to focus on the words he’s saying but you’re too caught up in how beautiful his voice sounds. You are also distracted by his fingers that gently cup your heat.
He pauses, his chest heaving with excitement as he taunts, “You wanna feel good, right?”
You try to nod, but he’s already speaking.
“I know, sweetheart.”
Mercifully, two fingers slide between slick folds. Your back arches forward, seeking to feel the weight of his body but he stays too far away.
He just watches you with a clever smirk. Your stomach tenses under the lustful gaze, but you say nothing.
It’s the right answer.
“You know, your brain actually changes when I touch you like this,” he chuckles.
His fingers continue to trace the outline of your heat but fail to breach the entrance. He is movingly entirely too slow and seems to be taking far too much pleasure in your squirming. 
“The part of your brain that dictates your values and how to make decisions… that’s long gone.”
You know you’re supposed to nod, but you whimper, instead.
“No fear, no anxiety, no pain,” he hums, “your mind can only focus on one thing…”
“Please,” you beg.
He punishes your interruption by sinking both fingers into you without warning.
“Me,” he confirms, “All you can think about is how to get me to keep touching you like this.”
You cry out for him, reach for him like a tether.
He more than lets you. He revels in your nails digging into his skin.
“Your heart and lungs are working so hard, but they can’t keep up.”
Spencer’s motions are faster, his fingers thrusting into you with a ruthless pace. Exactly as he said, you are gasping for air between desperate moans.
But he just prattles on, still sporting that dark, almost condescending smirk.
“Do you want to know why your thalamus is active during sex? It’s because it helps integrate memories. Memories about touch and those secret last-second thoughts just before you fall apart.”
You can’t focus enough to even try to conjure a fantasy beyond his fingers that you are figuratively and literally wrapped around.
He has you exactly where he wants you at the precipice of oblivion. Only then does he remove his fingers and drags them over the swollen pearl at your crest.
“What are you thinking about?” he teases.
“You,” you gasp.
It’s the right answer.
Spencer is quick to kiss you, his lips crashing against yours while his fingers feverishly stroke at the most sensitive part of you. His tongue sneaks between your teeth until you feel there is no part of you he hasn’t claimed.
You sob against his lips while your body writhes beneath him. You tremble with tension and overwhelming relief until you collapse back into the bed.
Spencer, though, seems unfazed by your exhaustion. Instead, he pulls his hand back and continues his lecture despite your glazed-over eyes.
“Now you’re here. Dopamine is rushing through your body. You might think it’s just about pleasure, but you’re actually learning.”
He stalks closer, crawling over your half-limp body. His eyes are still burning with that same predatory look.
“Right now your body is telling you that I know how to fulfill your needs and it’s trying to figure out how to make sure I’ll do it again and again and again.”
With the same hand he used to touch you, Spencer touches himself.
“But see, this is where it happens. These formative moments when you’re nothing but a blissful mess, that’s how I make sure you come back to my bed.”
He lines himself up against aching folds. He groans at the nearly formed wetness, but he hesitates to push forward.
“Right now your body is begging you to find someone, anyone to take care of you,” he says with great satisfaction. “This is the most important moment, when your blood coursing with dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, and prolactin…”
Then, right before he fills you past your breaking point, he chuckles against your lips.
“This is where you fall in love.”
As if on command, your body clings to him. You wrap all your limbs around him and try to bring him closer somehow.
But he’s already too close. Each time his hips crash into yours, you can feel him bottom out with an almost euphoric jolt of pain.
You can feel it, the truth in everything he’s said. His skin burns into yours as your heart struggles to keep up with the slew of sensations. Your chest, face, and neck are on fire, and he seems dedicated to trying to quell that heat with feverish lips.
After what feels like forever and not nearly long enough, he fucks you even harder. His teeth sink into your neck and the almost-pain makes you shiver.
“Do it again,” he growls against bruised skin, “Come for me.”
With a particularly brutal thrust, he fills you until you have no other choice. Your body snaps, seizes around him and begs him to reward you one final time.
You feel the gentle waves of warmth, the heavy throbbing of his cock as he joins you in the bliss. Your bodies begin to slow from frantic motions until you are left cradled in an exhausted embrace.
Spencer moves just enough to be able to kiss you, soft and slow and without any hint of pain.
And you know that… is exactly why you're there.
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Thanks for reading!
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steviesummer · 11 months
Text
inspired by and as a direct follow up to this post by @strangersteddierthings:
Eddie is horrified. He remembers the day Steve is referring to, though clearly not as well as Steve does. He calls out as Steve raced up the stairs and hears his door slam.
“Fuck.” He stares blankly at the wall in front of him. He can’t believe things went so bad so quickly. He’s been trying to get to know Steve better, get closer and damn if he didn’t just blow the hole thing. He’d shown up early, told Steve he needed to prepare as an excuse to spend some time with him. Despite everything that happened over spring break, Steve had remained guarded, standoffish no matter what Eddie tried. At least now he knew why. He’d fucked things up before he’d known there was something to fuck up.
He feels even worse about calling him a bully. Sure, Steve had looked the other way and even laughed at some of the mean jokes others had made, but he was far from the worst. That dubious award went to Billy Hargrove, but even without him, there was plenty of people who did far worse than Steve did. Especially because Steve is right. He did hit first, metaphorically at least. He can justify it all he wants as trying to protect himself, but that doesn’t make it right. Steve all but admitted that as he said the same thing. He feels nauseous at the realization that maybe he was just as bad as those he decried. That for all his talk about accepting outcasts and defying convention, he was just as prejudiced. Swallowing hard, he heads back to the dining room and looks at the clock. There is no way he is going to be able to run the campaign today. He’s not going to be able to focus or even play without thinking about how things might have been if he hadn’t driven Steve off all those years ago. He grabs the phone and dials Gareth’s number. “Emerson house, Sheryl speaking.” “Hi Mrs. Emerson, it’s Eddie.” Eddie is proud that he manages to keep his voice even. “Is Gareth there?” “Oh, yes! Let me go get him for you.” “Thanks Mrs. Emerson.” Eddie focuses on breathing while he waits. “Eddie? Hey man, what’s up?” Eddie breathes out. “Hey Gareth. Look, I know its last minute, but we’re gonna have to postpone Hellfire. Something came up.” He could hear Gareth’s frown through the phone. “Postpone? What happened, did Harrington do something?” As if he couldn’t feel worse. “Nah. I’ll explain later, but can you call Jeff and Frank, let them know? I gotta call the freshman, too.” “Alright, but I’m going to hold you to that.” “Fair enough. Talk to you tomorrow.” Eddie promises before hanging up. He weighs his options for how to tell the Party. Eventually, he decides on calling Mike, know that the younger teen won’t push too much. He’s dialing the Wheeler home before he can second guess his decision. “This is Mike.” Eddie feels a rush of gratitude that Mike is the one who answered, rather than Nancy or one of their parents. “Hey Mike, it’s Eddie. Listen, Steve’s not feeling great and having Hellfire here isn’t going to help. Can you call the rest of the Party, let them know we’re gonna move it to another day? I’ll keep an eye on Steve.” Eddie knows Mike is a confused, given how adamant he’s been in the past about not canceling or moving Hellfire, but as he expected, Mike accepts what he says at face value. “Sure. Need us to bring anything?” “Nah, I’ve got it. Pretty sure he just needs some peace and quiet so he can rest. But thanks.” They say their goodbyes and Eddie puts the phone back on the hook.  With that done, he checks that the door is locked and faces the stairs. Now for the hard part. He’s not sure what he’s going to say, if there is anything he can say that will fix this, but he has to try. Even if doesn’t change things between him and Steve, Steve deserves at least that much. Every step feels like it takes effort, chest heavy with guilt, but it only takes him a few moments to get to Steve’s door. It’s closed, which doesn’t surprise him. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts before knocking. Nothing. “Steve?” If it wasn’t for the quiet sound of Steve’s breathing he could hear through the door, Eddie would think he had left. He glad that he at least didn’t drive Steve out of his own home. He rests his forehead on the door. “I’m sorry.” Eddie hopes Steve can hear how much he means it. “You’re right, I fucked up. I made an assumption and took out my anger at other people on you. And that wasn’t fair and it’s not okay. But I want you to know that I’m sorry. Even if it wasn’t you, I shouldn’t have done that.” He lets out a hysterical laugh as he realizes - “And despite that, you still humor the kids when they talk about D&D and agreed to let us play here and didn’t punch me in the face, which makes you a better man than I.” He falls silent, listens as Steve’s breathing slows. He isn’t sure how long he stands there. He wonders how many other people he hurt this way, without even realizing. Knows he wants to do better, be better. He sighs, feeling his shoulders slump. “Anyway, I canceled Hellfire for today. I told everyone something came up, don’t worry about that. I’ll make up some story, make sure they know its not your fault. And uh,  let me know if you want to hang out again or something. I know I’ve been around a lot; didn’t realize that I was making you so uncomfortable, which is probably another thing I should apologize for. Anyway. Yeah. I’ll see you around, okay?” He waits a moment for an answer, but when none comes, he backs away from the door and walks downstairs to gather his stuff. It hurts, but he knows Steve deserves space and to be the one to initiate contact. He has some thinking to do, anyway.
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inafever · 9 months
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On how much Aziraphale has learned since season one:
This is about character development. Inside of a story, everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's meant to tell you something, to teach you or the character of your story, something.
So if the story continues and your character repeats the same mistakes again you know that they are bound to be doomed this time, and even worse the audience is going to certainly lose respect for them, cause they have made the same mistake twice, they haven't learned anything, they're gonna do it again another time, they don't deserve a happy ending. (yes I'm talking about good omens here) So you don't do that to a character that matters to you and you respect even the tiniest bit.
A Lot of us here are thinking that this is what has happened to Aziraphale's character at the end of season two, that he has done it again, repeated the same mistake again and has left Crowley to join heaven and it's been because of reasons like wanting to change Crowley (not true, see this post), still believing in heaven's goodness (not true at all), not being on the same page with Crowley (I'm gonna talk about this one especially in this post) and such likes. But these are the things he should've known better about after 6000 years and all the events that we've learnt about especially throughout season two. (It seems to be rather the whole point doesn't it?)
But we all seem to rather believe that he's made that mistake again nonetheless. so what we're doing here is trying to find reasons to justify the mistake and somehow make the reason behind the wrong actions something relatable to ourselves so we can forgive him when the time comes.
In fact I don't believe that he's made a mistake. for Aziraphale's character to be redeemable, what he has done, must be the only option that he's had for saving them both. I don't care what kind of situation could have resulted in him making this decision, but the only reason, the one and only reason, must be his love for Crowley. Otherwise it'll prove that he hasn't learnt his lessons or doesn't love Crowley enough to make a compromise, and in both cases, he's not worthy of love. He won't earn his happy ending by being tortured and feeling sorry and doing the apology dance for Crowley if he's hurt Crowley out of selfishness and stupidity again
But I'm sure he'll earn his happy ending and I'm sure he's learnt his lessons and it's too late for him to have unlearned them all in a matter of a few seconds. (He is an idiot but he's not stupid) and it's mostly because of this, that I believe the reason why he made that decision, must be very different from what it appears to be on the surface.
Anyway, this post is about what Aziraphale has learned and how he's changed.
I have made a post about their moments of conflict from both season one and two, it's here and you can look it up. This is where you begin to understand how Aziraphale has changed since season one because these are his dialogues after he's had a fight with Crowley in the bandstand, season one:
"even if I did know where the antichrist was I wouldn't tell you we're on opposite sides"
"friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don't even like you"
"there is no our side Crowley. Not anymore. It's over"
And then there's season two, when they disagree on what to do with Gabriel, Aziraphale is the one to point out that they both rely on the life they've built together
He's asking him to help him take care of Gabriel together and in response Crowley leaves
In the final scene he asks Crowley to come back to heaven
"work with me" "We can be together as Angels, Doing good" "I need you."
He says anything he can think of literally to convince him to stay with him and it doesn't work
We start from "we're not friends" and arrive at "work with me. we can be together"
Even if we don't know the reason why he's insisting on taking Crowley back to heaven with him, this is an Angel that has picked up the pace. That wants them to be an us. No matter what.
But these are only a few dialogues. I think there's more than that. I think the show in five and a half episodes (out of six) has tried its hardest to make the point quite clear about how Aziraphale feels about Crowley (or how strongly he feels those emotions). all through the way he looks at him and through his gestures and soft touches from time to time
I'm gonna make another post of those moments separately and I'm gonna link it to this when I do.
update: (here's the post. not just average moments of Aziraphale looking cute, it's something about the way he looks at him)
And I'd like to even compare those wishful glances to some of those from season one, but I can't, cause they are nonexistent in there.
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tanaor · 2 months
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Don't know how to create hooking character arcs?
(✨Dos and don'ts in character arc creation, part 1: don'ts✨)
Every writer knows that's a good character arc is something hard to achieve, and that there is usually a very fine line between making your characters evolve to the better and making them change completely... But don't worry! That's why today I wanted to share some of my tips to give your characters that something that will make their transformative journey unique, and also make your readers fall in love with them. So, let's get right to it!
DON'TS
1. Don't make your characters passive.
Your story needs someone strong to fight against whatever you are planning to put them trough! Making your characters strong doesn't necessary mean creating buff characters, but a good character will always have that *something* that can always push them to their try best. Could be a goal, a loved one, an ideology...
2. Don't give your characters some random disaster for no reason.
Of course, this things sometimes happen, but the best kind of disasters are the ones your character has put themselves into: they have no one else to blame (even if they tried). This are the disasters you should be pressuring for your characters, because they will teach your character something. Maybe your character was very egocentric during most of the story, and now they are alone. You can now either make them realize, or start a villain character arc were they believe the world has made them like that...
3. Don't make the decisions easy.
During the story, your character will have to take a lot of decisions, including many important ones, but here is the deal... Most of them shouldn't be easy. Make it hard for them to decide, make the decisions something that they feel guilty of, make them think that, maybe, "there really was a better alternative". Also remember that when taking hard decisions, characters usually decide what they think will make them suffer less: that's what we call pain vs pain.
4. Don't make everything terrible.
Remember: there's always calm before the storm. And, if you give your characters a false sense of victory, failure will always hurt more. (Even if you don't plan your characters to fail, it's a good technique to use before eventually everything comes down).
5. Don't be afraid of giving the character the ending they deserve.
When the story ends, you should be capable of naming at least three mayor changes in your character. But, of course, when the story ends you also want your readers to think "yes, that's what needed to happen". So, writers: don't be afraid. If the character deserves a bad ending, give it to them. If they deserve to succeed, let them win. Each story is different, but there will always be that ending that you feel is the right thing... Believe me, if a character deserves to fail, I'll want them to fail at the end, and there is not a feeling as good as someone getting what they deserve, what they have been earning since page one.
I wish this was helpful, and if you are interested keep tuned for the part 2: dos in writing character arcs. Happy writing everybody!!
Other tips for writers: previous | next
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visionsofmagic · 5 months
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◜ mk1 men when you meet with their evil versions [+bonus]◞
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▸ characters: raiden, johnny cage,  kuai liang, tomas & [+bonus} bi han: meeting with his good version ◂ ▸wc: 2.7k
▸ tags&notes: drabble, fluff, hurt/comfort, spicy, flirting, touching, gentle, rough, lots of usage of version & timeline words (like in the game, lol), dilemma, betrayal, angst (a little bit), humor, use of y/n, pet names, no specification of gender (as I remember), well, ‘s all I guess? (lol, this is the mixed tags I have ever wrote, but, it’s a drabble, so… enjoy!◂ ▸ m.
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RAIDEN can be one of the most precious men you have met, and falling for him is the rightest thing that has happened to you – however, contrary to how a loving boyfriend he is in your timeline, he’s the opposite one when it comes to his another version you have come across.
everything about his evil, the version seems all the same and different at the same time as he makes his way towards you, having the red color on unlike what your raiden wear normally. the only thing that reminds of him is the hat that covers his face from you until he slowly raises his head, eyes glowing red while looking at you from above. the danger is radiating from his presence, giving you a cold chill down your spine, making you crawl back step by step because of being on your ass, sitting on the ground after the fight has begun between you and the other timeline.
“oh,” he says, a smirk appears on his pretty face – not the one your raiden has, the one that is the representation of the most beautiful flower in the entire world, no, this one gives the feeling of an ivy full of poison. “y/n?” gulping, you remember the words that left liu kang’s mouth about how raiden once lost himself and sought the power to protect the earthrealm at any cost. 
you stop when your back touches a wall, leaving no place to run either when raiden kneels before you, red lightning traveling on his body that looks so powerful that you find yourself getting weak – not only because of the aura he has unlike the one the raiden you know has, but also because how it seems that he pulls you closer to him. somehow, he makes you lose all logical sides of your brain with the way he looks down at you; prevailing.
“raiden?” you ask, sounding soft which earns a smirk from him as he holds you by the chin.
“oh my love, you’re so soft – so fragile. it seems your raiden doesn’t give you enough – he is still weak. with that power, he can’t protect you, but I can,” his fingers move from your chin to your cheek, and lightning under his skin tickles yours. “come with me. I will protect you and the earthrealm from any danger out there.”
“I can’t –“ you utter, sounding not so sure of the decision but your heart knows the best – and that is to stay beside your raiden, the one who has you completely, not the one seeking power even though he needs to end his friends’ life or even another timeline to accomplish it. “I will never leave my raiden’s side.”
“how loyal,” he says, both irritated by the fact that your bond with the raiden in your timeline can’t be broken and proud of how loyal you’re for your love. “I wish we met in my timeline.”
with his confession, he leaves you behind, going to fight with others – how ironic, he comes here to end any life form yet he shows mercy when it comes to you. whatever it is that makes him do that, doesn’t matter, you say to yourself as you get up and go to help your raiden, hoping he will never turn evil.
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JOHNNY CAGE in your own timeline is flirtatious and teasing enough – or as you thought until you see his evil version from another timeline after the great fight has begun. you can’t distinguish him from your johnny – but the moment his eyes find you, admiring how you easily defeat one his companions on the way to the top, he whistles playfully.
when you turn to see him, ready to make a moral lesson about how he shouldn’t be humoristic in a fight for death and life, you see his eyes scanning your body from head to toe shamelessly. realization hits you like a ball in the face; he’s not your johnny. he doesn’t care about anything in the world, well, your johnny didn’t either before meeting with you. 
acknowledging that you see the danger when he winks at you, eyes finally directed to your face. “well, hello cutie. aren’t you such a beauty who will make aphrodite jealous?” he leaves a chuckle when you roll your eyes. without positioning a fight stance, you begin to walk towards him so that you can pass by his side – you can’t stand a version of johnny who is cockier and open-mouthed.
“woah woah,” he stops in front of you, hands on his chest, smirking, “already going, baby? c’mon, there is no man who deserves your attention as I do – not even your johnny if there is one.”
crossing your arms, a weary expression lightens your face up – still, you can feel the heat rushing to your body because of his flirty manner and words. johnny cage will be able to make you giggle with his demeanor with every version of him, won’t he?
“what do you want? a fight? then do it with someone else.” a dismissive hand movement makes him close the gap between you, eyes shining at your words.
“why pretty? can’t hit my handsome face? I bet you love seeing it.”
“u-huh,” you say, smiling as you put a hand on his shoulder, winking at him when he gets excited at the action. “you’re right I can’t hit my boyfriend’s pretty face,” you show his back, “but he can.”
when he turns around after you take a few steps back to leave enough room for your boyfriend to hit his own-self’s face with a strong punch, you chuckle. it’s a sight that will never leave your mind. 
“hey pretty,” your johnny says, gripping you by the waist and pulling you closer. chest to chest, he puts a kiss on your lips, acting like there’s no battle happening around you, taking the taste of you that he missed so much even though he had you before this hell. “you missed me so much that you began to chat with cheaper versions of me?”
“of course not. no one can be like you baby.”
“oh hell yeah!” he chuckles, taking you by the hand, “then, let’s kick some ass, well,” he takes a quick look around before turning to you, “our ass.”
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KUAI LIANG of your timeline can’t be looking as dangerous as his evil version even when he has a venomous fire radiating directed to the enemies. your boyfriend tends to have a tender side in him, especially for you. he’s the fire itself – using it to burn the ones who deserve it, and for warming you at any cost, in any place because he loves you so much that he can’t let himself go all wide beside you.
however, his evil version is nothing similar to him – maybe in a few situations but not on the battlefield in which no single soul can escape from the wrath scorpion has.
watching him from afar, for a moment, you can’t help but feel both power flowing through his armored body within the flames rising on the outline of his build, and hatred. 
he mesmerizes you in aspects it shouldn’t have – how can you feel a connection between an evil version of kuai liang when you’re destined to protect your own realm, fighting right beside your boyfriend? guilt rushing to you as scorpion becomes aware of your existence, looking at you after he takes down an ally – your wide eyes that do not leave him is the impulse of it. 
“hmm,” he says, slowly approaching you – you try to move, you really do but you simply can’t, not when every step he takes towards you sends a jolt of excitement and fear to your core, alerting you to either run so fast or stay still and you choose the second option without realizing it until he stops in front of you. “liked what you see, princess?” 
he flirts, teases, and even sounds as if your kuai liang except he has a bloodcurdling tone in his voice. 
when you don’t respond, eyes scanning his suit – looks like he came from straight hell, or he’s the hell, he scoffs, gloved hand replaces under your chin, pulling you closer to him as you rise on your toes to reach his height, hands finding his chest not to fall. “isn’t my version in this timeline enough for you that you eyeing me too? maybe he’s not good at satisfying you.”
heat rising within you, you can’t stop looking at his eyes – burning with flames, magically, yet seeming real as the blood covering his suit. you want to feel disgusted, but you’re far away from having such emotion. 
when he lowers his head, closer to you, you hear kuai liang’s voice behind you – taking you from daydreaming to reality, making you realize you let his evil version do whatever he wants with you. “y/n!”
with such speed, you get away from him, ready to stay in fighting style when your kuai liang covers your body like a shield, standing between you and his evil version.
“you should go,” he says, taking a look at your face as he prepares himself to battle with an armored scorpion whose eyes never leave yours, still attempting to capture you. attempt fails when you shake your head negatively when kuai liang adds, “I will deal with him.”
“no,” you sound certain, standing beside your boyfriend, an assuring smile on your face, “we will fight together.”
evil version only chuckles at that, darkly, and with that, “if it’s what you wish, my love.”
“not yours. mine. and I will make sure to show you that.”
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TOMAS’ determination is visible through his movements, unlike the one yours has, his eyes bright with such madness that your heart begins to pound in fear, not knowing whether he sees you as a treat or not – yet, he should, in the end, you’re not his partner in his timeline and he’s here to fight, not spare you just because his soft version gives his heart to you.
“tomas –“ the words leave your mouth, no particular control on it since it just splits out of you easily, to get a reaction from tomas – a good one.
“not your tomas,” he utters, playing with his karambit knife to show the readiness he has, waiting for the exact moment to attack you or defend himself if you take a sudden move, yet, you two agree upon a thing even without knowing it; neither he or you’re brave enough to hurt another, not when you have the love of his version in your timeline – his reason is unknown though. “I am better.”
“maybe you’re, maybe you’re not. it doesn’t matter,” you say, trying to find a feature that has hints of goodness in it by watching him raise one of his eyebrows, clearly curious about the rest of your speech. “for me, my tomas is the best, and he will remain as one.”
he chuckles, “is that so?” he’s more excited than you expect him to be. arms unite on his chest, making him look more dominant than you used to see. “I wonder what he does for you to say that – believe that.”
“he’s not hurting me,” he shuts you down – the thing your tomas will never do, he’s such a gentleman.
“I am not hurting you either,” seeing your relaxed body, he shakes his head, and with a smoke pump, he disappears in sight only to appear behind you, hands hugging you from behind, caging you inside his arms – tight enough to not let you go yet tenderness can be felt as well. he whispers into your ear from his mask, chin touching your shoulder as you take deep breaths because of the proximity you begin to share. other than your boyfriend tomas, you don’t get close with people and since he’s tomas but a more evil version from somewhere else, it feels odd – and excitement mixing within. “but I can’t promise for the future. if you just let me –“
when his fingers find your neck, you push him back, turning around, you take a defense stance, furrowing both at yourself and him – how could he? your tomas would never do things that make you comfortable even in the moments it feels breathtaking. “I should make you regret even suggesting such a thing!”
“no need love,” the time stops for a second, and the heart and soul find the ultimate medicine in the voice of your lover, tomas, whose fingertips touch your upper arms gently, traveling from there until they reach your wrists – his chest touches your back and the remaining marks of his evil version, the ones give you danger, fading away. “at the end of the day, he will not be able to utter any other inappropriate words with you,” staying beside you, he smiles at you – angelic. when he turns to his version, he looks deadly – you have never seen him like this, and from the way he stands, you believe he is determined to make him regret for your sake. “when I am done with him, he will never have the courage to show his face in here.”
“such bigger words from my weaker version,” the other tomas says.
shielding you, tomas bite him back, “I will show you how powerful I can be for my goddess.”
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BI HAN’s betrayal still eats you alive, the marks of it have its ghost on your skin and soul; broken pieces, and a wound on the cheek that you got from one of his ice blades he threw to kuai liang whom you intended to protect at any cost, not wanting him to get into a fight with his older brother.
you believed it wasn’t bi han who was speaking – it was his madness that needed to be calmed down – you tried though, you really did but the moment you got hurt, you saw the guilt and concern in his brown eyes before they turned to pure fury as he sought of obedience from all of you.
the brief moment created a bloom in your chest for a spell but it vanished as it came, taking hope into the deepest part of your heart as you watched bi han and kuai liang fight, wishing there wouldn’t be a miscommunication among you all, however, you knew bi han’s obsession with power for lin kuei got more dominant than he felt for you.
it was sad – to see bi han, your bi han, go away from you slowly, not understanding why you don’t agree to be on his side, he feels his own betrayal coming from you – before the fight, he said how he was wounded at your choice – didn’t you love him? he asked and his broken voice now fills your mind as you look at your hands – then, a movement catch your eyes as you wait for the big fight.
“who did this to you?” someone asks – not someone, a voice says, and when his fingertips touch your chin, lifting your head up from where you sit, you see eyes that resemble your bi han. he’s from another timeline, probably in which he doesn’t seek power like the way your bi han does.
tears appear in your eyes, and to hide them, you fend off his gentle touch, not letting him touch the wound directly, “it doesn’t matter anymore.” 
he stays silent, realizing it is bi han, in your realm and he sighs, touching you once again even if you keep as distant as possible you can, not wanting to cry in the middle of a battle area where people go and come as they wait for the upcoming fight. “I am sorry,” he says, and for a moment, you hear the voice of your bi han before coming to your senses.
“it wasn’t you – so, you’re not responsible for saying sorry.”
“but you need it,” he convinces, holding you by the cheek, covering the wound with his palm as if he gives healing through the touch, “and I am here to give it to you.”
you smile, not caring that tears flow into your cheeks, and to his hand – he knows you, not better than your bi han does, but enough to make you sense the comfort you seek within him. “stop talking or I will begin to believe I can beat the bi han’s possession.”
he smiles under his mask, and it reaches his eyes – he looks innocence incarnate. “you will. believe me when I say it, pretty,” he caresses your skin, the free hand positions on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze, “he will learn that there is no greater need except – you, his beloved one.”
💙
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luveline · 5 months
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Hi lovely!
Can you please do one where Hotch and Reader are in a fight and it gets heated and he maybe raises his hand just because he’s shouting and she flinches?
He would be prepared to FIGHT whoever made his honey feel that way 🗣️🗣️
💘
for you my sweetheart. fem, 1k
cw implied past domestic violence 
“It was right,” you're saying, on the defensive, your voice molten, “it was the thing to do!” 
“It wasn't.” Hotch closes the door. “It wasn't the right thing to do, it wasn't even close.” 
You realise, under everything, that he's right, but you couldn't help yourself, you had to try and save the day, had to swerve the SUV. Plus, he's done it himself, and you both know that. “If Monikie got out of that exit we never would've seen her again.” 
“There were roadblocks on the I–46, and I don't think I have to tell you that you could've gotten a lot of people seriously hurt–” 
“You've done worse,” you deny.
His expression, broadly furious, narrows into something sharper, “And that is my decision to make, but you report to me.” 
“You can't seriously want to act like a boss now,” you say. 
The room isn't overly large, and so you stand close to one another with no need for shouting, but your voices begin to overlap. Hotch is so angry. It isn't like him to yell at you, his voice strained. 
“You can't truly think that the decision you made today was the right one. You need to calm down, and you need to listen to me when I tell you that this was the wrong move. We'll talk about it more tomorrow.” 
“You're shrugging me off?” You could laugh. “You can't be serious. Every member of this team has done the same, or worse–” 
“But they're not you!” His voice peeks, his hand jolting out in front of his chest, flat-palmed in incredulity. 
You're really quite close to each other. 
It's not his fault. 
You step back, desperate to be away from the movement, the hand, because it doesn't register as his hand, only there's a chair behind you and a table behind that and you bump into the plastic with a creak and screech. You're righting yourself as quickly as you're tripping but Hotch is already moving away. Three steps that feel like a gorge. 
Your heartbeat soars. 
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly. 
“Of course.” You breathe out funny. It's not his fault, but there's something wired in your brain now, and it knows that the first strike isn't the last. Your hand shakes as you brush at an inch under your eyes. 
“I'm not mad,” he says. 
“You sounded pretty mad."
“I've changed my mind.” He gives you a long hard look, and then he moves to the office door to open it before returning to his initial position. He's given you an exit route. “I'm not going to hurt you,” he says. 
You put your hands on your hips and bend at the waist, breathing out hard. “Fuck, I know that."
“You thought I might.” 
“So profile me,” you say, panicking still, face hot and itchy all over. “Tell me why.” 
“Someone's hit you before. Enough to anticipate the second blow.” 
“But you knew that already, didn't you?” 
Your ears get cloudy like there's water in them and you can't stand the feeling of Hotch's gaze on the back of your head. You force yourself into a standing position and try to ignore what happened. 
“You're unfairly angry with me,” you say. 
Hotch just shakes his head at you. 
“It's… It's not a big deal,” you say, quieter. He already knew because of course he did, every member of the team gets checked. You have records, and he's in a position of power unlike most, he could've read them like the morning paper. 
“Why would you say that?” 
“I can still do my job.” 
“I wasn't going to suggest you couldn't.” 
Then why… why is he looking at you like that? You're humiliated enough, and his gaze is so… so soft. So sorry. Tears gather warm behind your eyes and your chest aches like you've been holding your breath. You frown, eyebrows lifting at the starts, not knowing if you should beg him to forget the whole thing or finally give in. 
“Come here,” he says gently. Completely optional, his fingertips twitching but stationery at his side. 
You stare resolutely at your shoes. 
“I'm sorry I scared you, it wasn't my intention. I can imagine how it feels. I'm not mad, honey,” he says. His voice drops to a murmur, “Come here,” he pleads. 
You take a clumsy handful of steps and he meets you in the middle, arms going carefully over your head. You'd feel condescended by it if it weren't shockingly nice to be considered in such a way, or if the solid mass of his arms around you didn't soothe. You feel protected rather than boxed in, held, and not restrained. 
His hand slides open down the length of your back.
“I'm sorry I scared you,” he repeats, for your ears alone. 
“It's not like it was really you that scared me.” 
The memory scared you. The flinch was instinctive, less to do with Hotch and more to do with the connection between a moving hand and stinging pain. 
He hangs his head by your ear until his nose touches your shoulder, and for a few seconds, it's just you and him together, no fighting, and no fast-approaching hands. 
“You didn't scare me,” you mumble, hiding your face in his shoulder instead, forcing him to stand tall. 
Incoming footsteps cut your embrace short, but he doesn't pull away too swiftly. His hands grave the lengths of your arms, and he gives you a long, loaded look. Before you can calibrate the action to the man, he's chucking you under the chin, a stroke of his index knuckle, a promise of more to say. 
He catches Morgan before he can enter the room and directs him back out. “Take a minute,” he advises you. 
You sit in a chair and do as he's offered. Memory is a tricky thing. 
2K notes · View notes
unclewaynemunson · 6 months
Text
"What. The. Fuck."
Over years of living in a trailer park, Eddie has seen his fair share of weird shit. But this right here? This surpasses everything.
Wayne is sitting on the couch in the living room, with an actual baby in his lap and a completely deadpan expression on his face like this is something that happens every day.
"Hey, Ed. Meet Sasha Munson."
"Sasha Munson?" Eddie repeats, hoping that saying the name out loud will make this whole thing less surreal. It doesn't, so he automatically switches right into disbelieving panic mode instead. "Sasha Munson?! What the fuck? She isn't mine, I promise, it's literally impossible, someone must've - Wait, hold on - Is she yours? Aren't you like fifty years too old to knock someone up? What the fuck did you do? Who's the mother? What were you thinking, man, we can't take care of a -"
"Eddie, sit down."
"No, I'm not sitting down, this is ridiculous, what the fucking fuck, we can't -"
"She ain't mine and she ain't yours."
"What the-" It takes a few seconds before Wayne's words sink in. Then, Eddie freezes mid-sentence, giving his brain a second or two to catch up to what Wayne just said.
"Wait, what?" he asks.
He gives the sleeping baby a distrustful look. It's small - too small to be a human, if you asks Eddie. It scares him a little bit.
"Then whose is she?"
"I told ya to sit down, Ed."
And Wayne's voice is so strict and serious that Eddie can only obey.
"Your dad was here earlier."
Those few words are enough to tell Eddie exactly what happened. He immediately feels sick to his stomach. He wants to cover his ears, or walk out of the trailer and never come back. But instead, he keeps sitting, frozen in his chair, and listens to what Wayne tells him.
"Sasha is his daughter. He had this girlfriend, Melody, 'bout a year ago. She's much younger than him, is all I know 'bout her. I think they were kinda serious at the time. But Clyde went and messed it up, of course. Cheated on her. She dumped him. Then showed up again a few weeks later all sobered up and told him she was pregnant. Far as I know, things went okay for a while after that. But she caved right after she gave birth. It took a toll on her, Clyde said. So she needed the drugs again. He left her; he didn't see a way to help her and he was worried 'bout Sasha's safety. So he took Sasha with him and brought her to me. Said he couldn't take care of a baby and that was that."
It is a story eerily similar to what Wayne told Eddie about his own early years, whenever he'd ask him questions about his parents.
Eddie looks at the tiny human in Wayne's arms. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is just slightly agape. She's wrapped in a blanket that has a soft shade of pink, with tiny elephants printed across it.
"He never learns, does he?" Eddie remarks with a sigh.
"He doesn't," Wayne affirms in a soft voice, shaking his head. "But you know what, if these are the consequences of his actions..." He first looks up at Eddie, then down at the baby in his lap again. "I can't even be too mad at him for it."
"Jesus Christ, what a mess."
"Don't think too badly of him, Ed," Wayne says. "He wanted to help them. Both of 'em. But he didn't know how. He did what he thought was gonna be best for Sasha. Just like he did with you. He ain't evil. Just a coward who makes bad decisions."
Eddie swallows thickly.
"We'll make it work," Wayne says with certainty in his voice. "It'll be tight, but we'll survive. We did it before, we can do it again."
Eddie nods.
"You wanna hold her?"
He shifts uneasily. She seems so fragile. He doesn't know a single thing about babies; he is his father's son, after all, not Wayne's, no matter how much he wishes he were.
"C'mon, Ed, she's your sister."
It's only now that Eddie notices how well it fits, Wayne with a baby in his arms. Like he was made to be a father. Like Sasha belongs there. There aren't any pictures of Eddie as a baby, as far as he knows, but he imagines it must've looked somewhat like this scene: the exact same couch, a different blanket, and a younger version of Wayne. One with less wrinkles and more hair; less worn-out by the sorrows Eddie has given him over the years. It's simple for Wayne, in a way it isn't for Eddie's father, and in a way that Eddie fears it won't be for him. To hold her gently and let her sleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat. To sit with her quietly and do nothing else. To give love and patience without expecting anything in return.
Eddie rises from his chair and sits down next to Wayne on the couch. He utters a shaky breath, trying not to show his nerves, and wipes his sweaty hands over his jeans before holding out his arms.
“Just like that,” says Wayne softly while he places Sasha in Eddie's arms.
She's warm and has that specific newborn baby scent clinging around her. She's heavier than Eddie expected. She stirs a little bit and makes a tiny sound, but then she continues her peaceful sleep. He studies her: her closed eyes, her tiny nose, the way her head rolls around helplessly if he doesn't support her steadily enough; the hand that's hanging out of the blanket, with minuscule but fully developed fingers that grab around nothing. He listens to the steady sound of her breathing and imagines the tiny lungs inside her body working on pure instinct to keep her alive. His sister.
He looks up and finds Wayne staring at the two of them with tears in his eyes. He only catches Eddie's gaze for a fraction of a second, then he looks away, to the window on his right side.
“You're wrong, you know,” Eddie says.
Wayne turns his head back to him.
“Bout what?”
“She isn't his. Neither am I.” He looks up from the girl in his hands to meet Wayne's eyes. “We're both yours. He didn't do jackshit for us, just dropped us here with you and ran away. You're the one who raised me, Uncle Wayne, and that makes me yours way more than his. And Sasha? We're both gonna be here for her, every step of the way. We're gonna change her diapers and feed her milk - I don't really know anything else about babies, but we're gonna do all of that, together. We're gonna see her grow up and become a person. She's ours.”
Wayne produces a noise that sounds somewhat like a choked-off sob. He puts an arm around Eddie and drags him closer towards him. He doesn't say anything, but Eddie didn't expect him to. He understands.
2K notes · View notes
imtryingbuck · 6 months
Text
Told you I’ll always come back
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~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: 4 years ago Y/n was Bucky’s fiancé and the team thought she betrayed them
Word count: 7,772
Warnings: angst. reader can teleport ~sorta~. reader also rolls her eyes like a trillion times. major character death. swearing. pregnancy. small mention of child birth. mention of cheating. tiny mention of sexual assault. mention of Sharon (I really need to get off the sharon-hate train) guns. gunshot wounds. sad all around
Translation: голубица - dove (if wrong please let me know)
Masterlist
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When Fury rang her begging asking for her to come back for one final mission, she agreed with a condition, she’d bring her old team with her. Fury accepted.
That had been two weeks ago.
Landing back in New York brought back many memories, some good - some bad and some she wish she couldn’t remember.
“Hi can you take me to Avengers Tower please?” Getting into the cab she tried desperately to calm down her nerves.
The sky was a visual of her emotions.
Dull.
Standing outside the huge impressive building she felt like she was going to be sick. It’s been four years since she was last here.
“Hi I have an appointment with Director Fury at 12” 
“That’s fine, take a seat and I’ll let him know you’ve arrived”
“Thank you” She didn’t listen to Haley the receptionist, choosing to stand instead.
Fury came down not three minutes later with a small smile on his face. “I’ve missed you - no touching I know”
“Let’s get this over with Nick. Sooner the better”
The man knew not to try and annoy her anymore so he lead her to the elevators, going up.
Her stomach squeezed tight at the sight of her former team huddled on one side of the table, with their back to her.
“Take a seat” Fury whispered in her ear.
The moment that they saw her they were already shouting out their protests, she ignored them and listened to Fury by taking a seat to sit in.
“Calm down everyone. Now!” Fury slams his hand on the table causing everyone to fall silent. “Now, Y/n has agreed to help us with a missi-“
“We won’t work with her Fury.” Steve interrupts.
“You have no other option. No one else will or can help other then Y/n”
“We’ll just do it ourselves” Tony shrugs.
“No. This is happening, if none of you can play nice then you’ll be sacked.”
“You can’t sack us” Steve says with a scoff.
“I can and I will. Now Y/n I sent you over the details of what we’re up against, did you read it?”
“Yes”
“Your team, have you briefed them on everything?”
“Yes Fury, and yes they’re happy to help”. She rolls her eyes at Tony who mocks what she had just said.
“You said in the email that you’ve already paired people up from both teams, do you want to share it?” Like her Fury completely ignores Tony’s childish behaviour.
Sliding over a piece of paper towards her former boss and friend she continues to talk “When you see them in training and you don’t agree with my decision feel free to change it-”
“Oh we will do sweetheart”
Once again ignoring Tony “You said that my team will be allowed to stay here, in the tower?”
“Yeah Peppers done your rooms up herself, you should be grateful”
Turning her head towards the man she saw as a father figure not that long ago “When I see her I’ll give her my thanks.” Sighing she addressed the rest “You have a problem with me, so you will take it out on me. Not my team, but me. Do not think for one second that just because of our history together you can treat my guys like shit. They’re good, hardworking fighters. Fury we have two weeks to train for this mission and if I find out my team isn’t being respected or treated fairly I will not hesitate to pull them and myself out, is that understood?”
Fury’s eyebrow raise as he nods “I completely understand Y/n, welcome home”.
“My team will be here tomorrow at 12, I’ll see you then”.
“Don’t you want to know what room you’re going to be in?” Fury asked.
“No, I’m not staying here.”
“Where?”
“Not here. See you tomorrow Fury”.
Making a beeline for the elevator she takes her leave, it’s once she’s outside of the building she gasps for air.
After her shower and nighttime routine she climbs into bed, her head was throbbing but all she was hoping for was a good night sleep.
It didn’t happen.
“Tony splash me with water one more time you’ll regret it!” She laughs.
“What are you going to do huh?”
“I’ll-I’ll smash up all your vinyl albums”
“Okay okay I’ll stop”
•••
“Steve wait up I’ve only got little legs”
“Sorry.”
“Can’t you just carry me?”
“Nope, come on we’re nearly there.”
•••
“Y/n will you marry me?”
“Yes, Bucky I’ll marry you”
•••
“Natty get your bum out of bed”
“Don’t want too”
“Okay, I’ll come and cuddle with you”
“Yess!”
•••
“Y/n it’s an emergency come quick”
“Sam what’s happening?”
“Come!”
She walked in on Tony fast asleep on Bucky’s shoulder.
•••
“Wand I love you, I’m gonna marry you instead of Bucky”
“Y/n/n your drunk”
“I know”
“Why you sad for?”
“I don’t know”
•••
“Bruce turn into Hulk so I can beat him up”
“Why do you want to beat him up?”
“Because… leave me alone”
•••
“Thor guess what?”
“What?”
“Your so beautiful and I hope you so much happiness”
“La-Lady Y/n,give me a hug”
•••
Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of-
Gasping for breath, she sat up in bed. It’s been almost two years since she last had a dream turned nightmare about her former team.
The red numbers on the clock stated it was 4:33 in the morning, laying back down she grabbed the remote and turned on the telly, there was no way she was getting any more sleep now.
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Getting to the Tower a little bit earlier, she sat in her car waiting for her team to arrive. An hour later a text message popped up from her colleague and confidant stating they had arrived she got out of her car.
Greeting them all and introducing them to Fury who said to her.
“You could of come inside you know”
“I didn’t want to” Leaving him to sigh in response.
Introductions between both teams were done and it was straight onto business.
“So what powers do you lot have then?” Tony asks.
“None. We’re all human, Marley’s a witch though” Douglas your closest friend replied.
“Oh. So why are you here if you don’t have abilities?”
“We follow Y/n wherever she goes”
“Why? She’s a tra-“
“Tony enough” Fury interrupted. “Now on to business, the organisation going by The Lords have been on our radar for quite some time now, recently they’ve been getting more cocky” Fury turns around to face the screen, image after image of buildings up in flames, innocent people covered in blood, dead bodies littering the streets were shown to them. 
“We need to have them stopped. In just over two weeks they’ve planned to attack a government base, but we’re going to be taking the fight to them.”
“How?” Colleen - the woman who saved Y/n’s life ten years ago - asks.
“We’ve got their location-“
“Why don’t you just get them” Douglas nods his head to the team on the other side of the table “just to drop a bomb on the bad guys?”
“We need them alive so we can question them”
“Okay… but why all this man power?” Marco says.
“What is it with you lot always asking questions” Nat says with an eye roll.
Y/n sighed, looked at Fury “Marco has a point but I already know the answer, so I’ll be the one that fills him in. We should probably start the training, everyone knows what this missio-sorry I need to take this”. Getting up she answers her phone “Hi baby-“
Bucky hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of her from the moment she sat down. Her hair is so much shorter than it used to be, it suits her. A long jagged scar went across her cheek was new, he wondered how it happened. Seeing her sit there hands placed in her lap, her shoulders tensed up and a blank expression on her face makes him conflicted on his emotions towards the woman he was planning on spending the rest of his life with.
His heart tinged with sadness when he saw the small incrusted diamond ring with two small love hearts sitting on her finger, the finger his ring for her use to take up residence.
He wishes he could take her hand in his so he could rub his thumb over her knuckles, just like he use to whenever she was in that position as he knew it meant she was uncomfortable.
But he knew she didn’t have the right to his affection anymore not after she betr-
His thoughts are cut off as she stands, bringing her phone to her ear, greeting the person on the other end of the line with “Hi baby”.
A scowl made its way onto his face. Not that he had any right to do so.
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“How are you? And don’t say you’re okay because I know better love” Douglas’s rough Scottish accent comes from next to her.
“I’m… I’ll be fine Doug, the sooner we’re done with this the sooner everything will be okay”
“Yo-you don’t have to do this, me and the team will tak-“
“Don’t. Everything will be fine after I’ve done this Dougie, you and the guys will be fine.”
They sit in silence. Doug didn’t like the plan she was going through with but he’s known her for years and knows she isn’t going to change her mind.
After training with the Avengers Y/n left, despite Fury telling her to stay and have dinner with them. Douglas left straight after the awkwardness of dinner was done, and being the only person who knew where she was staying, he headed straight there.
She brought this house for her and Bucky to live in after they retired, which they both agreed would be just before they married.
The home was beautiful, four bedrooms with two bathrooms, a large living room, kitchen with a pantry off the side of it, dinning room, an office that she had already planned to turn into a man cave for him. Two car garage, backyard was huge with a beautiful willow tree - as soon as she saw it she knew she had to have the house.
Bucky never knew about the house, she wanted to surprise him. It never happened obviously, and with a heavy heart she rented the house out.
The previous renters contract was up a month before she got the phone call from Fury, and there was no way she was going to stay in the tower. So she went to the place she wanted to call home.
“Have you spoke to them?” Doug asked breaking the silence.
“Yeah, driving Fran up the wall”. She laughs causing him to join in.
“She loves them though” He chuckles.
Nodding with a soft smile, “You should get back it’s getting late, I’ll see you tomorrow”
“You’re right” Standing up he pulls her into a hug, kissing her forehead he whispers “Don’t push me away love, not now”
That night she had the same dream as the night before, waking up at the exact same time again.
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A week had been and gone, training was going good for both teams; apart for her. None of the Avengers held back, her body throbbed and ached after each session.
Today was the only day where Fury had to step in, seeing Y/n struggle against Wanda’s powers, he had to stop it.
Wanda had Y/n pinned against the wall and slowly dragging her up it, the whole room went quiet. The Avengers moved closer to the redhead whilst Y/n’s team moved closer to her.
“Mar-Marley don’t!” Y/n managed to rasp out to her friend. 
Marley though small was deadly, her powers being similar to that of Wanda’s “She’s crushing your chest!” She shot back.
“I-it’s ok-okay”
“Wanda put her down!” Fury demanded.
“No. She’s a traitor, she betrayed all of us”
“Wanda!” Fury started to get nervous for the woman being pinned to the wall.
When Wanda’s eyes shot towards Marley, Y/n grew scared. She didn’t want either one of them hurting each other. “Marl-Marley stop! T-that’s an or-order!”
“She’s hurting you. And she’s lying!”
“No she isn’t. She’s a traitor” Tony shouted.
“Admit it and I’ll let you go голубица” Wanda smiles.
Even with the pain of her chest being crushed it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the pet name slipping from her former best friends lips.
“Admit. It. Y/n.” Everyone aside from Wanda flinched at the sound of Y/n’s ribs breaking.
Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, hard enough to draw blood. She wasn’t going to give Wanda the satisfaction of seeing or hearing the pain she was going through. She held Wanda gaze, both women refusing to backdown.
“D-Doug…ge-get Marley out of h-here”.
She sees in the corner of her eye Douglas struggling to pull Marley with him. “If the little girl wants to play, let’s do it” Wanda says breaking eye contact with Y/n to look towards Marley.
“No! N-no don’t!”
“Admit it then Y/n, admit to your team that you’re nothing but a liar and a traitor” Wanda screams.
“It wasn’t her!” Fury shouted, taking in a shuddering breath afterwards.
“What?” Steve’s eyes bounce from Y/n to Fury.
“She wasn’t the one who betrayed us.”
“Liar!” Wanda screams again just as she brings Y/n’s body away from the wall, throwing her back into it.
“I’m not lying Maximoff! Now let her go!” Fury shouted.
“Sh-she betrayed u-us!” Y/n’s heart broke at the sight of the tears filling up in Wanda’s eyes.
“She didn’t lass.” Douglas says as he still struggles to gain somewhat of control over Marley. 
The hold on Y/n was released as she drops to the floor gasping for air. Her team run straight over to her as well as Fury who looks over at the other team with disappointment in his eyes.
“I-I’m okay” Y/n mumbles before succumbing to the darkness. 
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“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Dr Cho asks when she sees Y/n trying to get out of the bed.
“I need to le-leave”
“You’ve just had your breast bone fractured and several ribs broken Y/n. You need to rest”
“I’m leavi-“
“No you’re not love, you need to stay” Douglas speaks from the doorway.
“I-I need to speak to them, it’s six”
“You need rest soldier, come on I’ll even stay with you, it’ll be like old times ay?” He smiled softly at the woman he respected more than anyone.
“Bu-“
“No buts my sweet girl, back in bed now” He gives Helen a nod before climbing into the bed with Y/n. “Get some rest love, I’ve got you”.
The next day Y/n wakes up in an empty hospital bed. Removing the wires from her, she stands up and carefully puts her clothes back on.
She crept out of the room and down the corridor, knowing exactly where she needed to go.
Hearing the raised voices coming from the briefing room, she took in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.
“-your concern Scottie”
“It is when the witch tries to kill my friend”.
“Friend” Bucky scoffs.
“What’s that suppose to mean?”
“I see the way you look at her”
“Don’t be stu-“
“Doug stop.” Y/n says as she walks in.
“What are you doing here? Your meant to be resting”
“I’m fine”.
Marco pulls out a chair for her, gesturing for her to sit smiling at the woman who saved his life time after time.
“I’m going to say what I have to say then I’m leaving, don’t worry Nick my team will still help”
“What about you?”
“I’ll be there, can’t exactly back out of a deal now can I?” Fury’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion and Bucky noticed Douglas tensing at her words.
Sighing deeply, she closes her eyes “Sit or stand I don’t care but here’s the truth- I was the one that did betray you. I’m not sorry either”
“Y/n stop lying!” Fury says.
“…fine. It was Sharon.”
“That’s a lie!” Steve shouts.
“No it’s not. You see Steve, she was fucking you but she wanted your best friend. She wanted me out of the way, I didn’t even know that you lot were branding me as a traitor until Hydra found me several months later. Oh and I also killed Sharon”.
The Avengers sit there searching their memories from four years ago, and sure enough everything they were told was by Sharon.
“Wait what do you mean you killed her?” Steve asks.
“I put a round of bullets into her head, she was there with Hydra when they came knocking” She shrugged.
“But th-then that means you didn’t betray us?” Tony wheezes out.
“I’m many things but I’m loyal to a fault”
“I’m so-“
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear any apologies. Not from any of you. Fury I’m gonna go now, I’ll see you on the day of the mission.”
Leaving the room before anyone can say anything she heads back to the house.
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*Four years ago.*
The nausea was driving her insane, she was on her way back from a mission with a handful of SHIELD agents who could hear her gagging in the back of the quinjet. Nothing was happening for her though.
“Talk to Cho and see if it’s something you ate or something” Lucas said to her as she came and sat down.
“Yeah I might”
And she did just that, getting off the jet she headed straight to medical bay. Telling Helen all her symptoms the nurse tells her to undo her suit and lay on the bed.
“What the hell is that noise?”
Chuckling “That’s a heartbeat, wait no there’s two. Look-“
“What? How?…What?” She always wanted to be a mum but Bucky thought he couldn’t have children because of what Hydra did to him.
“Two strong hearts, you’re having twins Y/n congratulations darling” Helen beams.
It’s only as she was zipping her suit back up she noticed the small prodding bump. Smiling she walks through the corridors subtly touching her stomach as she goes, reaching the common room she sees her friends - her family.
“Hey, where’s Bucky?” She’s asks.
“He’s in your twos room” Steve says with a smile.
“Okay thanks” Reaching the door to hers and Bucky’s room she didn’t realise that the team had followed her, with a smirk on their faces.
Opening the door, her heart broke at the sight of Bucky’s bottom half covered by the quilt moving back and forth and Natasha underneath him with her arms around his neck.
Natasha was the first one to see her, with a smirk playing on her lips she taps Bucky’s shoulder making him look at the doorway. His face completely void of showing any resemblance of emotion.
The team honestly expected Y/n to say anything, something, but not a single word comes from her mouth.
Instead she vanishes into thin air. The only sound for them to hear was her engagement ring clinking off the floor.
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*Seven months after.*
Y/n did the most cliche of things, by moving to the middle of nowhere. She had a three bed cottage with acres of land.
It became her sanctuary. The one place she felt at peace, at home.
Most nights she didn’t sleep and if she did she was plagued by the images of Bucky in bed with Natasha. Tossing and turning throughout the night with silent tears streaming down her cheeks, the only thing that she had left in this world was her unborn babies and Roxy the fox that would come to see her every night.
At 8 months pregnant with the twins she was huge. She didn’t know what she was having, nor did she have a scan, which did sadden her. Luckily for her though the pregnancy was going smoothly. 
It was turning ten o’clock at night on a Thursday, she knew something was wrong when Roxy hadn’t showed up. The hairs on her arms stood to attention, Y/n could feel the air changing - becoming toxic.
“Little pig little pig I know you’re in there” A loud rough voice came from outside.
“Whatever you’re selling I’m not buying” She shouted back.
“Not selling anything sweetheart, you’ve got something that belongs to us.” The voice says again causing her to roll her eyes.
Creeping as much as she possibly could with an 8 month pregnancy bump towards the window leaving her to mutter out a quiet ‘fuck’ as she sees the two dozen men outside, armed and ready for a fight. Rolling her eyes once again at the symbol embroidered on their chest of the suits they wore.
Hydra.
She hated that she just couldn’t snap into thin air, more than ever right now. She had tried it a few times - like the time she ventured out in public to go to the store, and she was standing there in the middle of isle three when she had an accident. The most humiliating thing she ever endured. Trying so hard to disappear even as she tried to helped the young woman who worked there clean up her mess.
Even after she left the store without her things she walked as fast as she could to the beat up jeep she had, trying desperately to get it to work, nothing happened.
For weeks after that event she kept trying but always failed. It had only happened once and that was many years ago now, it was when she was shot in the leg. Her emotions were all over the place, she was only fourteen. It hit her that it was because of the twins she couldn-
“Come on Y/n you’ve got no where to run, you’ve got no one to help you, just co-come out”. A new, familiar voice was now heard.
Y/n squinted her eyes thinking of a way to not only protect her babies but the woman who had been her friend for years, the woman who she thought and believed had been abducted by Hydra and was being used to get her.
“Sharon? What are you doing here? Long time no see huh”
“Y/n they promised that they won’t hurt us, just come out”.
‘Think. Think. Oi don’t kick me right now. Come on and think’ repeating softly to herself as she looked around the room. Of course her home was littered with all sorts of weapons and ammunition but she didn’t want to be the first one to shoot just incase Sharon got caught in the crossfire.
“You’ve got five seconds to come out willingly before we start shooting. We don’t need you alive little pig just need that special little thing you stole from Hyd-“
Sharon’s safety wasn’t a priority anymore, not now that Hydra thinks her babies belonged to them. He gets cut off with a bullet in between his eyes.
“Let’s go boys” She shouts as bullets zoomed through the air one straight after the other.
Bullets tore their way all throughout her home, destroying everything she had built for herself and her babies. Holes littering one side of the home.
“No no no not that vas- goddamnit!” She mutters as her favourite vase smashes into tiny little pieces. “Now it’s personal”.
One by one the sound of heavy gunfire became more quieter, until there was only two guns firing.
She grimaces as a bullet skimmed her cheek, she readied herself to shoot again when a bullet was fired.
“Y-Y/n are you hit?” Sharon shouts.
“No, it took you long enough to help out Shaz”
“I’m coming in okay”
Y/n moved away from her position, moving towards the fireplace mantle to pick up a photo of her parents that had been hit when the door came open.
“How did they get you? Are you hurt?” Y/n says with her back to Sharon. “I’ve missed yo-“.
A gun clicking from behind her stopped her words from coming out. Sighing with an eye roll she continues her task of trying to get the glass out of the picture frame. “What are you doing Sharon?”
“What’s so important about you? Why does everyone always want you huh?”
“Hell if I know, nothing special about little ol’ me it’s quite annoying really”.
“What was Simon talking about?” Sharon questions.
“Who the hell is Simon?”
“The leader, the first one you killed”
“Oh him, I’m not sure. Didn’t he tell you when he abducted you?” Y/n could see a glimpse of her friend through the broken glass, gun ever so slightly shaking as her arm starts to tremble.
“They didn’t abduct me, I’ve been working with Hydra for over a three years now.”
It took her by surprise hearing that “Fair enough” is all she says.
“Yep, I told the Avengers that you turned rat and was betraying them and they all believed it”
“Silly twats, aren’t they?” Y/n chuckles.
“Turn around. Slowly and put your hands in the air” Sharon demanded.
“And wave them around like you just don’t care” Y/n sings, as she slowly turned around and raised her hands.
Sharon audibly gasped and stumbled backwards “Yo-you’re pregnant…”
“No shit Sherlock”
“Whose is it?”
“Bucky’s but don’t tell him it’s a secret” She winks.
“You bitch!” The blonde screams “you’ve taken my life!” She starts to pace back and forth, eyes bouncing from the gun to Y/n’s stomach.
“Not yet I haven’t…” Y/n whispers.
“I love him you know! But no he wanted you, you had him and I had to settle for Steve. And now, now you’re having the love of my life’s baby!”
Despite the situation she was in Y/n couldn’t stop the sharp tang in her heart at the sight of the tears gathering in her friends eyes. But just to be a bitch she corrected the blonde “Babies, plural”
“Y-you’re having twins?”
“Yep”
Her throat tightened as she sees Sharon’s finger squeezing on the trigger, both sets of eyes shot straight to the gun as it jams.
It all happened so fast, Y/n grabbed the gun and using the handle to smack Sharon in the face, causing the woman to fall on the floor screaming in pain. Y/n walked past her to leave her home when Sharon’s hand wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her to the ground. Sharon was up first out of the pair and was straddling Y/n back, gripping her hair in a tight vice she raised Y/n’s head before smacking it down. Again and again and again.
Sharon finally gets up kicking Y/n’s side in the process. “I’m going to do the thing I should of done years ago, you ruined my life-“
The blonde gets cut off when Y/n kicks her legs out from underneath her, causing her to fall back down.
“You’re fucking crazy you know that Sharon, Jesus”. Ever so slowly she manages to get up, her hands going to her belly “All this for a man? You’ve really lost your bloody marbles Shaz!”
“It’s Bucky! I love him” Sharon screams.
“Yeah well so did I until I caught him fucking my best friend!” She screamed back.
The pain and confusion flashed over Sharon’s face “No, your lying”
“I’m not. God I wish I was, but nope caught him fucking Natasha”
“He wouldn’t do that to me!”
“You? He was engaged to me, you absolute weirdo. Sharon just stop alright, it’s over I’m done. You want him so badly have at him! I don’t, I don’t want to fight you anymore, so please get up off my floor, stop crying and leave.”
She watches as Sharon picks herself off the ground, who then stops as they both hear that one sound Y/n had been dreading.
Her waters splashing onto the floor.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me” She whispers to herself as she looks down at the sight.
With Y/n distracted she didn’t see Sharon standing fully or her running towards her.
The punch to her stomach caused her to stumble backwards, the punch to her cheek that had been sliced open by the bullet from earlier caused her to flinch. The pain in her abdomen intensified as she sees Sharon bending down to grab the gun.
“Told you I was going to end th-“ Sharon says just before she’s cut off with a bullet in between her eyes.
Whether it was because of the pain to her aching body or at the fact she was just made to kill someone she thought was a good friend, her finger wouldn’t stop pulling on the trigger.
Even after the gun kept clicking.
“Stupid bitch you could have just left but no you had to be a cunt” Y/n shouts at the dead body laying in her living room.
Dropping the gun, her hand went in between her thighs, bringing her hand back up her heart dropped at the sight of blood.
Slowly walking to find her phone she dialled the number of the one person she trusted more than anyone in this world.
“Hi love, we’ll b-“
“Doug I-I need you. Babies are comi-“ She cuts herself off when a scream tears its way out.
“We’re on our way!”
“H-hurry.” She says just as she drops the phone as she slides down to the floor.
Doug and Fran arrived as fast as they humanly could. Both of their hearts dropped to the pit of their stomachs when they saw all the bodies lying in her front yard.
Running inside they see the body of a blonde and Y/n, legs open as she births her baby.
“Love we’re here, Doug get towels quickly” Fran’s frantic yet soft voice says.
“I-it’s the second one” and that’s when the ringing of adrenaline fades and was replaced by a cry, when they look to the side they see the tiny body of baby number one.
Neither Fran or Doug moved as they watched their friend deliver her second baby. Neither one of them could wrap their heads around the strength Y/n showed time and time again.
It shouldn’t have surprised them really.
“T-this one’s a girl, what about the other one” Y/n asked, voiced laced with tiredness.
“A boy, he’s a beautiful baby boy” Fran smiles as she picks the still crying baby up, handing him over to his momma.
“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Y/n’s eyes move from her babies to the couple in front of her.
“R-really love? You want to name them after us?” Doug asks with tears in his eyes.
“Of course, you’re their godparents after all”
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*two months before Fury rings her*
Y/n makes her way through the busy streets with her head down. She can’t stop the eye roll when she notices the two agents following her.
Slowing her pace she waited for the inevitable to happen.
As the agents got behind her a black van comes skidding past, the sliding door comes open, a sack is placed over her head and she’s pushed in.
“Do you guys want me to act scared or what?”
“Shut up”.
“Feisty”
After a while the van comes to a stop and she’s all but dragged out of it.
When the sack was removed her eyes dart around, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time, she’s in an abandoned warehouse.
“Ah Ross, so good to see you. You know if you wanted to see me so badly you could have just called” She smiles at the man.
“Wanted to surprise you Y/n”
“Oh yeah no I noticed, I was so surprised I didn’t see it coming…notice the sarcasm?”. Her head tilts to the side at the sound of footsteps “Hi Fury”
The man gives her a curt nod “Y/n”
“Wanna tell me why I’m here?”
“We have proof that you weren’t the rat, you can come back to SHIE-“
“Absolutely not. I’m fine in doing what I’m doing now thanks, can I go?”
“Y/n you’re a mercenary-“
“It pays the bills” She shrugs.
Fury shakes his head at Ross when he tries to continue, “You didn’t seem so surprised when he mentioned a rat, why?”
“Bit slow aren’t you? Let me guess the one that betrayed you was…Sharon? Yep I knew, um three years ago? Yeah something like that”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Didn’t think you lot deserved the truth so, can I now go?”
“We need to tell the Aveng-“ 
“No. Don’t, look let’s just keep everyone thinking I turned rat okay? It’s the best for everyone.”
Both men look to each other before slowly nodding. “It’s so great to see you Y/n” Fury says as he tries to pull her into a hug.
Stepping back she puts her hands up “I don’t like being touched nowadays, so no touching but it’s great to see you too Nicky”
“I told you not to call me that. See you” He chuckles and making his exit.
“We need to talk Y/n” Ross sighs once the pair are alone.
“About?”
“Your old team” 
Her heart stops.
“W-what about them?” She knows exactly what it’s about.
Rubbing his hand over his face, he looks at her with sympathetic eyes. “The officials want you all to pay for what happened that night”.
“We was set up Ross! Right from the get go, it was all a fucking set up!”
“I know, Y/n I know. I tried telling them but they won’t listen to me” He speaks earnestly.
“Why aren’t they going after John?”
John Cooper, a name she hasn’t heard or spoke of or thought of for over ten years now. He was Y/n’s handler for a year, he made her go out and find people who was at the top of their game. She didn’t know why but she did as she was told to do, finding the best of the best.
Douglas - best snipper in the army. Helped that he could fight like a beast.
Marco - best hacker she had ever seen, fighter, built like a brick wall (secretly a cuddle bear).
Colleen - she saved Y/n’s life when she had been cornered in a dark alleyway neither her or her attacker saw the knife coming. No brainer.
Marley - a young girl at the time was an experiment Y/n stumbled on, she didn’t have the heart to leave her and when she saw what she was capable of doing, she brought her on board too.
Then there was Hank - the biggest mistake she ever made. He was ruthless and conniving, she thought it would work well in her favour until they all heard screaming and they saw him pinning a seventeen year old Marley to the wall and was trying to shove his hand into the girls trousers. Y/n didn’t hesitate to put a bullet into his skull, catching Marley as she fell.
John said they needed another person but she refused. There was no way she was going to bring another person in, not after what had happened.
Their mission was for them to break into a government base and download all the information off the computers, when they got there, there was dead bodies of workers.
Pulling back Y/n ordered them to leave, the moment they stepped back outside they were surrounded by the military, FBI and even SHIELD. 
That was the night she met both Ross and Fury.
“Y/n he’s dead, died in a Mexican prison seven years ago.”
“Oh…”
“I need you to tell me the locations of all four of them”
Chuckling softly, “that’s not going to happen Ross and you know it.”
“No I know-“
“If I give them me, confess to murdering all those people, tell them l was the only person that did it, will they leave them alone?” She asks desperately.
“But that’s not tr-“
“It doesn’t matter what’s true or not Ross. Will they yes or no?”
Closing his eyes he whispers “yes”.
“Let me make one phone call and I’ll come with you, right here right now”.
“That doesn’t need to happen. I’ll need your help soon, you help and I’ll make sure you get a fair trial”
“My old team walks. Free and clear, no one comes after them and I want it in writing Ross.”
“Deal.”
Shaking hands she walks back over to the van, hopping in “take me back from where you kidnapped me from”.
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*Back to the present*
The first thing she did when she got into her car was FaceTime Fran who answered after a few rings.
“Hey”
“Hi, Doug told me what happened you’re supposed to be resting Y/n/n”.
“I’m fine,honestly. Where’s my little terrors?”
Laughing Fran calls for the twins, Y/n couldn’t stop smiling when she heard their feet’s pounding on the floor shouting for her.
“Here, talk to momma - I’ll talk to you after okay missy”.
“Of course. Hi babies”
“Momma” they replied in unison. To see them brought a smile to her lips, her heart ached with the need to hold them in her arms.
“Guess what bubbas!”
“What” Logan asked.
“Momma loves you both, so so much!”
“I wuv you mama” Harlow screams down the phone, making her and Fran laugh.
“Logie aren’t you going to tell me the same?”
“I wuv you momma so so so so so so much” His little face beams.
They were truly the perfect mixture of Y/n and Bucky. Logan had Y/n’s eyes whilst Harlow had Bucky’s, Harlow had her fathers smile and Logan had his mommas. The mannerisms of the pair were the exact same as their parents.
She spoke with them for close to an hour, them telling her all about their fun filled day. Saying goodbye to them pained her, she hated saying them words to her babies. Speaking with Fran for a bit she ended the call and went back to the house.
In dire need of sleep.
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The rest of the week passed, Douglas visiting her most days and telling her that the team of superheroes wanted to see her to apologise, nothing was ever said back to him, leaving him hoping that things were different. 
It was the day of the mission, she rang Fran so she could speak to her babies one last time. She left the house and headed back to the tower.
“It’s important that everyone knows exactly what the plan is. Nothing can go wrong”. Fury speaks from the head of the table. “Anyone want to saying anything?”
“Yeah, Y/n I’m so so-“ Wanda tries to say.
“It’s fine. Let’s just get this over and done with, my guys- are you ready?”
“Yes boss” All answer.
“Well, good luck everyone”.
On the quinjet ten minutes later, awkwardness filled the air as both teams sit on opposite sides. No words are spoken other than the pilot saying they were taking off.
Exactly three hours twenty-five minutes and 13 seconds - she timed it - was how long it took for Tony to say something, to be honest she was shocked it took him that long.
“Y/n can we talk?”
“If it’s an apology I don’t want it, it mean’s absolutely nothing to me. If it’s about the mission, then yes we can talk.”
“We need to apologise Y/n/n”
The nickname coming from Sam’s lips make her flinch. “I don’t want it nor need it.”
The quinjet fell silent once again.
That was until Bucky broke it. “I never cheated on you”
Everyone noticed the flash of pain in her eyes, “what?”
“I never slept with Nat, we pretended in order to hurt you, ba-Y/n we believed that you betrayed us”
“Believed Sharon don’t you mean.”
“We-I didn-“
“Awesome.”
“What?”
“I think it’s funny that instead of asking me and oh I don’t know believing me, instead you all believed a desperate blonde who had to settle for the man who still pines after her dead aunt, it’s quite absurd to me really.”
“We didn’t know what to believe Y/n. You’re the one that killed Sharon s-“ Steve speaks and ultimately gets cut off.
“I only killed her because I had no other choice!”
“There’s always a choice” He spat back.
“You’re right. But that night I didn’t have one, I wish it wasn’t but she left me no choice!”
“Why did you do it?”
“Pilot how long do we have long left?” They all look baffled by her change of the subject.
“We’re nearly here Miss”.
“Thanks” turning to look Bucky directly in the eyes “when this is all over Doug can explain it to you, end of discussion.”
The quinjet lowers to the ground and everyone takes their leave, just as Y/n walked past Douglas she slides two things into his pocket before gripping his hand and smiling towards him, he squeezes her hand and leans over to place a kiss to her temple.
Bullets fly freely, smoke fill their lungs, grunts and screams are heard. Pushing forwards they all work as one.
They had only been there for less than an hour before the remaining members of The Lords surrender.
After all the intel was gathered, the prisoners on board, they hear the sound of another jet.
“What the hell?” Tony asks.
The Avengers watch as Y/n gives each of her team a lingering hug - who all apart from Douglas looked confused.
As she gets to Doug hugging him too, she whispers something into his ear that even the two super soldiers couldn’t hear, pulling back they stand to attention and salute one another.
She says nothing as she passes them and up the soldiers who put handcuffs on her.
“What the hell just happen-“ Bucky stumbles out but is cut off when the jet carrying the woman who he was still very much in love with inside exploded.
Marley screams and the sound breaks Douglas’s heart, he grabs the woman who he’s always seen as his daughter in his arms as well as Colleen who falls to her knees. Marco stands there with his dark brown eyes not moving away from the still falling parts of the jet.
The Avengers, they all have silent tears streaming down their cheeks, none of them know what to say or do. They’ve just witnessed the person who at one point they trusted more than anything, the person they all betrayed just die.
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Douglas walks past them all with both women in his arms and walks straight up the ramp with Marco following behind.
When everyone’s on board the quinjet they see him sitting in the seat Y/n was occupying.
“The day she walked in on you fucking her best friend she found out she was pregnant. The night she killed Sharon, Hydra had showed up at her home wanting the babies, that scar she has-had on her cheek was from a bullet graze, Sharon tried to kill Y/n - caused her to go into early labour. Y/n killed Sharon because she had no other choice, hell she even gave the blonde bitch an out. When me and my wife got there she was in the middle of delivering her second baby.” He shakes his head sadly “the reason my best friend is dead is because of us” pointing to himself and the other three “she made a decision to leave her babies behind just so we didn’t get given the death penalty”.
Douglas pulls out the items Y/n had put into his pocket, her ring - the one with two love hearts that represented her twins, and her dog tags that also had two smaller tags with the twins names, date of birth engraved on them.
“James, she made me and my wife adopt the twins. She knew exactly what she was going to do when Ross talked to her about their deal, she said it was okay for us to let you see them. But please don’t think for one second that you’ll be able to take them away from us, because pal even if you are a super solider I’ll still kill you.”
Bucky sits there with tears in his eyes, “what’s their names?”
“Logan-Douglas and Harlow-Francesca” Doug tells him with a smile.
“Ca-if it’s okay with you and your wife, can I meet them?”
“You won’t try anything stupid?”
“No, god no of course not!”
“Then yeah that can be arranged.”
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For two years Bucky sees the children he didn’t know existed until two years ago.
His heart dropped to his stomach when Douglas took him to the house that Y/n had brought for them to live in after they retired. It became the warm loving home for Douglas, Fran and the kids.
Bucky did retire, the day after he lost the love of his life and met his children for the first time, and not only that but he also brought the house next door.
He formed a great bond with the couple who let him see the kids whenever he wanted - which was now every day since he moved next door.
The bond he had with his children was now unbreakable. Everyday he was reminded of what he lost and lost out of just by looking at their adorable little faces. He loved them so deeply, loving them at its purest form. He wishes more than anything that he could go back in time and redo everything all over again, but since he can’t he continues to make up for lost time.
He’s sat in the living room with the kids, Doug and Fran when a knock comes from the front door, he watches as Doug goes to answer and truly didn’t think anything of it.
“Hi babies” A warm voice says.
“Momma!” The twins scream in unison.
Shooting up from were he was laying on the floor building with the Lego set Steve brought Logan, he watches his kids jump up and run over to Y/n who instantly picks them up.
She’s alive. She’s standing right in front of him. His chest tightens. She’s really here.
“H-how?” He whispers but she hears it.
“You’ve been doing so great with them, I’ve been watching” she smiles.
He walks slowly over to her as she puts the kids down and he doesn’t hesitate or think about it before he smashes his lips to hers.
“I still love you Y/n/n”
“I still love you Bucky”
The kids squeal and jump in circles around their parents as Doug and Fran hold on to each other. 
Y/n pulls away from the man she still loves after everything and picks up her big babies.
“I told you I’ll always come back”
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~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
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glearyyyne · 1 month
Text
we can't be friends (wait for your love)
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Part 2
Synopsis: Here you are at the Brighter Days Inc., hoping it would help you remove Satoru's memory in your fragile heart.
Word Count: 2,787 words
Warning: Heavy angst
Note: This was based on the mv of ariana's latest song, I felt like I need to make that version of the one and only it boy Gojo Satoru! This is best to read while listening to we can't be friends (wait for your love)
_____________________________________________________________
Pen clicking
You stared dully at the paper in front of you that was waiting to be sign. Your mind was all over the place the moment you walked inside with the stuff you used to cherish. With full determination, you decided to end things for your own good.
You have given extensive thought behind your decision and give "Brighter Days Inc." the exclusive permission to remove this person completely from your memory.
            ___ Yes            ___ No       
You sigh, dropping the pen as you try collecting your thoughts by staring at the box beside you that has all of the stuff you had with Gojo.
Satoru...
Oh how that name sounds so sweet yet painful.
Tears swell in your eyes reminiscing those elegant sapphire eyes that used to look at you with so much love that you missed.
Your eyes stumbled upon the white teddy bear, it was his first anniversary gift.
**
"Babe, look here" Satoru spoke with so much happiness.
You two were at the arcades, trying to have some fun after you two finished eating lunch together. "I bet you can't get that" You suddenly told him with a smirk. Satoru looked at you with his competitive look, "I bet you I can indeed get that" he said before putting a token inside the machine to start the claw machine.
The game was super easy, just try and claw a stuffed toy and bring it to where it was supposed to fall but this machine in front of you was known to scam people. That's what you taught, but Satoru proved you wrong.
With determination and focus he had when getting that teddy bear that only cost around a dollar to some store, he managed to safely get the teddy bear after so many tries.
Satoru's eyes widened when the claw didn't let go of the teddy bear when it was brought above as it safely held the teddy bear before dropping to where he could receive it. He screamed in joy not caring about the people around him.
"Darling! Look! I got it!" Satoru told you with a joyful tone as you giggled at his actions before he gave it to you. "Me? But you worked so hard just to get it" You said as you held the teddy bear with love.
"Yeah, but it shows how much I'll do anything to give you what you want" He said with those soft and loving eyes as if nothing else matters in this world just you and him.
**
When you heard your name being called, you stopped thinking about him as you touched your cheek when you felt a tear-stained. The nurse asked if you were ready to go. "A-ah just a second" you hurriedly said and hastily grabbed the pen to sign the paper.
You have given extensive thought behind your decision and give "Brighter Days Inc." the exclusive permission to remove this person completely from your memory.
          ✓ Yes            ___ No      
You stood up and gave the nurse the signed paper before grabbing the box and head inside the room. The doctor greeted you enthusiastically as he told you to give the nurse the box you were holding.
As soon as you gave her the box, you sat down on the treatment chair with anxiety creeping your body. Feeling your heart start to beat loudly as if fighting you to stop this nonsense.
"Is it your first time? I can see how your eyes move around" The doctor asked with his lightening laugh just to ease you up.
"Yeah, sorry I just really don't know how to calm myself" You said, fiddling your fingers to atleast help calm you down. "Don't worry actually what happens to most of our patients who came here for their first time" The doctor said while preparing the machine.
You looked at the table to see the box again, you felt as if your heart was screaming at you to stop this. 
“So who are you forgetting? We need to know so that we can ask you after this procedure is done” The doctor asked.
“Someone named Satoru Gojo” You were hesitant at first but you answered anyway.
"Don't worry, we'll give you those final moments with your memories before they disappear" The doctor assured you.
"Are you ready?" The doctor asked and with a final sigh, you nodded.
You closed your eyes as soon as you felt the doctor put something on your head. That's where the process begins.
DELETION PROCESS
     1%
**
"Satoru?" You softly spoke when you noticed those white hair that stood among the crowds as he turned around and smiled before waving at you.
He rushed up towards you with a grin, patting your hair leaving you groaning since you just finished brushing your hair. "Stop it! I just brushed my hair!" You whined, slapping Satoru's hand away with a glare.
He only giggled, "You just looked too cute" Satoru then took your bag. "I'll carry this, is there any place you want to see?" He asked.
"Should we go get some coffee?" You suggested.
"Sure, make sure mine is caramel macchiato with extra caramel" He said with a smile. "You and your sweet tooth" You said with a laugh.
"Well I can't really live without sugar and of course you my honey bunch" He said, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close to him. You smiled while hugging him back.
**
Tears stained your eyes as you started to see your final moments with your memories.
  DELETION PROCESS
     24%
**
"Happy Birthday!" You flinched when Satoru suddenly surprised you in your shared apartment. The feeling of tiredness and burnt out suddenly left, a smile crept up on your face.
"You didn't have to" You said, dropping your bag to the ground before heading to Satoru. "I have to, because it's your birthday baby," Satoru said, holding the cake near you with the candles being lit already.
"Make a wish" He said
When you first observe how the cake was made, you can see how messy the font was made. It already says that it was Satoru who made the cake. You gently close your eyes and begin making a wish.
Let us stay together, tomorrow as well
You blew the candle with ease, but this is satoru we're talking of course chaos is on his vocabulary. He dumped the cake into your face after he made sure to put out the candle to not hurt you. You stood there in shock before grabbing a handful of cake as you threw it into his face leaving you two a giggling mess. You were curious as to what the cake tasted like. 
“I didn’t even get to taste the cake” You said with a pout after Satoru came back with a tissue to clean your face. “Don’t worry, I made two cakes, that cake earlier is just for fun” He said while wiping your cheeks. “And look! I got you a gift!” He said placing the box that was wrapped well into your lap. 
You stared at the box suspiciously before you slowly unwrapped the present. Sooner, you found what was inside the box that left you gasping in surprise. It’s the stethoscope you’ve been wanting to get after beginning your doctor journey. You stared at him flabbergasted.
He only smiled more and spoke, “Happy Birthday baby”. Tears swell in your eyes before you throw yourself to Satoru, hugging him while thanking him endlessly. He hugged you back, placing small kisses to your head.
**
DELETION PROCESS
48%
**
“I told you to leave me alone!” You shouted, crying hysterically while continuing to run in the rain without any shoes because all you wanted was to run away from Satoru.
But the moment Satoru was able to catch you by grabbing your arm and pulling you into a hug, you cried heavily into his chest. He made sure to take his jacket off to wrap it around you to stop you from shaking in the cold. 
You two stood there by the rain, Satoru was there hushing and comforting you to calm down.
“Shhh, baby, I know how much it hurts but it’s time to move on” Satoru spoke to you, “Toru, I can’t fucking move on knowing my mom died” you said as you stared at him with your red eyes.
“I know, I know but would your mom be happy knowing how her daughter cried in the middle of the rain that will definitely be the cause of your sickness the next day?” Satoru asked that you quickly shake your head.
“See, besides I promised your mom that I will take care of you and I hate it so much when you cry like this” Satoru admitted, his hand gently caressing your cheek. 
“I love you so much that it hurts me too when I see you like this” Satoru spoke in his broken voice.
From that moment, you saw how the usual chaotic, noisy Satoru is gone and it was replaced by this brokenness and pain evident from his face.
“Please, let’s head inside, I don’t want you to get sick” Satoru begged, you slowly stopped crying as you nodded.
Satoru sighs in relief, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before holding you close as you two walk back to your shared apartment that night.
**
DELETION PROCESS
65%
**
“I told you to stay still!” You told Satoru as you giggled trying to stop him from wriggling much as you wanted to put the night cream on his face. 
“But my skin is already clean! I don't know why you wanted to add that to my gorgeous skin” Satoru said, lying down on his back as you tried to put skincare products on his face.
“Just do it for me please?” You begged with those puppy eyes that Satoru can't resist.
“Fine, but I better have my kisses after this!” Satoru demanded.
You smiled before leaning and placing a quick kiss on his lips, “that's all you're getting now” You said with a mischievous smirk.
Satoru only pouted while you continued painting his face with the skincare you were using.
After some time, you finished the night cream and grabbed one of your lip masks. Placing the mask on his lips, Satoru immediately took this chance and swallowed the lip mask only for him to choke.
“You got karma real quick” You said while laughing at him.
“That hurts my pride,” Satoru said while coughing.
“That's why I told you to stay still” You told him, grabbing another lip mask and placing it on his lips again. He stared at you, “Stay quiet for now” You told him with a smile as you took a book to read.
Satoru didn't do much so he closed his eyes to take a nap.
When you take a break from reading, you stare at Satoru with those loving eyes.
How lucky I am to get to be with you
 **
DELETION PROCESS 
78%
**
“What's your problem man?” Satoru spoke before punching the guy in the bar. 
You quickly jump into the scene as you try to stop Satoru, “Stop it! Satoru, we might get kicked out!” You frantically told him.
“I can't stop if he won't shut up about wanting to touch you!” Satoru shouted at you. You sigh as you apologize to the guy but it was too late, the both of you got kicked out of the bar.
“You need to learn how to control your temper, sometimes satoru” You annoyingly said.
“I just can't help it-” whatever satoru you always say that!” You snap at him.
Satoru only stood there, sighing as if he was tired.
“I’m tired, let's just go home” Satoru said but you weren't backing down.
“Oh no, no I’m most definitely tired Satoru! I have to deal with your ass whenever you get drunk!” You shouted in frustration as he was silent.
“I can't face you right now, you either stay with your family or friends for the night” You said as you quickly walked away, Satoru tried to stop you but you still left.
That's where the memory you wanted to rewind your actions as you didn't know this event will cause drastically to your relationship.
**
DELETION PROCESS
91%
The process moves slowly to all of the sweet times you had with gojo before it arrived, to how you two ended your relationship that you always had nightmares about it.
**
You stared completely shocked at what Satoru showed you.
a pregnancy test
Your eyes quickly moved to Satoru wanting him to explain everything.
Satoru only stared down, “I’m sorry, I got someone pregnant” he revealed that left you shaking.
W-what?
“Since when?” I asked, tears are already spilling from your eyes as your body went numb after consuming this information.
“The night we got into an argument after we got kicked out of the bar, I headed to another bar that time and-” Before Satoru could finish, you stopped him.
“You got some random girl pregnant?” You quickly cut him off. Your eyes looked at him to see if he at least felt guilty about what he did but…
There was none
“She’s not some random girl,” Satoru quickly defended.
“Oh, is that so?” You glared at him.
“Are you going to tell me that you fell out of love with me the moment she came into the picture? Is that it?” You angrily asked him.
Satoru only stared at you before nodding.
You sigh as you cover your face, it came too quickly.
“I’m sorry I couldn't keep my promise, I was just getting tired of the constant fighting we had and I think it's best for us to split,” Satoru spoke.
He didn't even show a slight guilt or sadness on his face.
Satoru only tried to hug you but you kept on punching his arm, once he did hug you your punch somehow got lessened only for you to cry loudly in his chest.
“I did love you, I didn't lie when I told you I loved you most of the time. I know I was a jerk for suddenly falling in love with someone but I can't help it” Satoru explained.
But no matter how many times he explained, he will never come back to you.
That day, Satoru left with all of his belongings leaving you alone in that shared apartment that was supposed to be your happy place.
You sat at the couch, staring at the wall trying to process everything, you looked at the picture frame that was from your graduation, and you can see how his eyes used to lighten up with you but now that eyes only looked at you with nothing.
You head to the bedroom and saw how clean it was, it felt so different to the one you’re used to.
You opened the closet to find your clothes only, but Satoru’s red scarf was there. Hands quickly grabbed them as you tried covering around your neck and just cried there.
Months later the news that Satoru and his girl got married, it was decided that you will remove him from your memories as soon as you see an advertisement that helps remove a certain person from your memory.
**
DELETION PROCESS
100%
The moment it hit one hundred, every memory with Satoru was soon replaced. 
The first anniversary gift he got was soon replaced by you hanging out with your friends as you got lucky to win a teddy bear in the claw machine.
Every time he always fetches you after your university was replaced with you walking alone.
Those sweet birthdays you had were replaced with your family celebrating it with you.
The night that you heard your mom died was replaced by your cousin comforting you instead of Satoru.
The bar memory you had was replaced with you fighting your friend for making you two kicked out of the bar.
The day when Satoru told you he got someone else pregnant? Was replaced with your best friend telling you she got pregnant.
Your eyes quickly opened as you looked around and touched your cheek wondering why you were crying. The doctor and nurse quickly went to your side and asked you if you were okay and were asking tons of questions about this person you don't even know.
You got out of the office feeling fresh and left the Brighter Days Inc not knowing the box you had was burned leaving nothing else, not even the scarf you used to comfort yourself after you and Satoru split.
You entirely forgot the person who you used to call your soulmate.
705 notes · View notes
acourtofwhatthefuck · 5 months
Text
Practice On Me — Part Thirteen — Azriel x Reader
Summary: Backstreet’s back, ALRIGHT! Or rather, the Bat Boys™️ sort their issues out. Tathaln’s ball is officially announced. Azriel gives Kaeda a piece of his mind. Fin has no business being the sexy dad he is. Roza’s worried about reader.
Word count: 6.3k.
Warnings: None for this part.
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All is silent, save for the rhythmic tick-tick-ticking of the clock. Cassian has always hated that clock. Finds it fucking annoying.
But it fills the vacant hole that exists in the absence of conversation. That hole is open and gaping between Cassian and Azriel. It’s not a table that sits between them — it’s a dangerous, yawning chasm.
Az stares at Cass, and Cass feels uncomfortable. He’s seen that cold gaze be levelled on people hundreds of times, thousands. To be on the receiving end feels a little like staring death in the face. He actually kind of wishes that Kaeda hadn’t been sent off to the dorms to sleep off her drunken state, because at least then he wouldn’t be the only one here, being subjected to…this.
So, he stands up, so abruptly that his chair almost topples over, and asks, “Want me to make you some tea?” The question feels stupid the second it leaves his lips.
Azriel’s eyes track him, drink in every uneasy shift and twitch. It’s not that Cass is afraid of Az — though anybody with half a brain cell would be — just that he’s not good in these situations. Situations where he has to be serious and…and listen.
“Cassian.” The shadowsinger’s cold voice stops him before he can move. “When, in our years of friendship, have you ever once made me tea?”
Cass peers over a broad shoulder and shrugs half-heartedly. “First time for everything…”
“Sit.”
The word brooks no room for argument. Cassian does, indeed, sit.
It’s then that Azriel heaves a deep sigh, his entire body taut as a bowstring, and says, “I’m sorry.”
Cass blinks. “What?”
“I’m sorry—for what I did in the mead hall. I…had no right.”
“…But Y/N and I…”
“It’s not for me to dictate whether the two of you should or shouldn’t lie together. My…jealousy…is my problem, and mine alone.”
This is hard, Cassian realises — for Az to say this. For him to face it. And Cass can relate to that. Not everyone can be as silver-tongued as Rhysand. The Mother knows, Cass himself isn’t.
But he also isn’t an idiot. Some people may believe him to be, and that’s their mistake, because being proved wrong is usually the last thing they remember before waking up to a healer standing over them. He’s aware enough of his surroundings to know that something was brewing between Azriel and Y/N for years before Cass took her to bed…or kitchen counter, or…whatever.
“I need to be better,” Cassian offers, “at thinking before I act. Thinking about who I might hurt with my decisions. I’m working on it.”
Az studies his friend, and he feels no anger. If anything, it’s guilt that claws at the shadowsinger. He gave poor Cass a pretty good hiding over something that was, essentially, none of his business. And it could have all been different if Az simply wasn’t a coward, afraid of his feelings.
Something he needs to work on.
And perhaps he’s doing that as, rather than burying the topic, he asks, “What…what actually happened? How did you end up sleeping together? I mean…do you have feelings—”
“No.” Cassian cuts him off, blinking. “Gods, no. I love Y/N, you know that. But not romantically. I just…I felt so damn useless that night, Az. If you’d seen the way Y/N was…the self-loathing. I didn’t know how to help.”
Immediately, Azriel’s brow pinches. “Self-loathing?”
“Because of what her father did to her. When we were flying to Fenlaros, and she was the only one being carried in…”
Azriel slumps back in his chair, feeling like a godsdamned idiot.
He blinks forward and wonders what the fuck the point is in being born a shadowsinger when he obviously can’t read situations very well. Within seconds, it’s clicking into place.
“And then you started that fight with that Fenlarion male,” Cass continued. “and Kaeda just declared that it was her you were fighting over…and everyone has a limit, you know? I think that night was just all too much for Y/N. And she was so upset, so downtrodden…talking about how she hated herself. And I’m not good with words like Rhys is, and I’m not as observant as you are, but I am good at physical touch. Physical comfort. And it seemed like the only thing I could offer in that moment to take that bleakness away from her. But I should have thought about how you would feel—”
“I’m glad you were there for her.” Azriel blurts, realising, with every word, how much he means them. “I wasn’t. I failed her that night.”
“I really didn’t know that the two of you had been exploring things. If I did, I wouldn’t have done it. I mean…that fight you started wasn’t over Kaeda at all, was it?”
Az’s eyes shutter. And it goes against every natural instinct of his to strip himself bare and just…be honest. Every steel wall he’s ever built up is screeching in its effort to stand strong and not be caved in. And those walls were necessary in a life of darkness and hate…but that life is long gone.
What good do those walls do him in an environment where he has love, has people who genuinely care for him? As much as he wants to run and hide from his feelings as he always has…he thinks that the key to happiness may be on the other side of those walls. That a new bravery lays in letting some light filter through the cracks and warm a guarded heart.
His voice is quiet, laced with a self-preserving fear, as he admits, “No. It was not.”
Before Cassian can offer an encouraging response, the front door is swinging open, and Rhysand is kicking snow from his boots and trudging in. Azriel tenses like a threatened animal — but there is no threat here. Only safety, only love. He forces his shoulders to relax.
The violet-eyed male takes in the sight before him. Goes still as he looks between his two friends. “Please tell me this is a positive conversation.”
Cassian inclines his head. “Work in progress. Why don’t you make some tea?”
“Fuck you, make your own tea—”
“Make me some tea—”
“Kiss my ass, dickhole—”
“I’m in love with Y/N.” Azriel blurts.
It promptly shuts the other two males up.
They turn away from their bickering to look at the shadowsinger. He looks…shocked, by his own confession.
“I’m in love with her,” he breathes.
Cass and Rhys share a glance, and then Rhys is slowly approaching the table, carefully taking a seat like he doesn’t want to startle Azriel out of the moment.
“We know, Az.” Rhys tells him gently. “I mean…I think we always suspected…”
“I started that fight in Fenlaros because I was jealous of that damn male having his hands all over her. Saying the things he was saying. It was nothing to do with Kaeda.”
“You should really tell her — Y/N, I mean. Tell her how you feel.”
Azriel’s eyes trace a mark in the table as he admits, “Kind of already have. When she came to speak to me earlier today.”
Another glance is shared between Cassian and Rhys. And both are equally surprised — figure they would have heard something about it. Unless…unless it hadn’t gone down well.
And now that Rhys thinks about it, Y/N had been tense whilst he’d flown her back to Velaris. Taut in his arms and barely uttering a few words. Perhaps this was why.
“Did she…not take it well?” Rhys hedges. He wants to be delicate, not go blasting in at full-force. So rarely do they get to see such a vulnerable side to Az.
Azriel shakes his head once. “It’s not that, it’s…” He clears his throat. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“How?” Cass pushes, and Rhys shoots him a warning glance.
But Azriel doesn’t balk from it, doesn’t slink back in his seat. Instead, he lifts his head, and he levels his friends with a desperate look.
“There’s more that I haven’t told you.” He says.
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A short while later, Az thinks that maybe talking through his feelings is a good thing. Just saying the words has a little bit of weight easing from his chest, his shoulders.
But Cass and Rhys aren’t saying anything at all. Cass and Rhys are staring at him like he has two damn heads.
And then Cassian sits up, barking, “Tathaln Baralas wants what?”
“Exactly what I told you.” Azriel shakes his head. “He wants me to move to Fenlaros and work alongside him. Has some sort of backing from the High Lord, though I’m not sure how much. In a nutshell, Kaeda’s interest in me has always been driven by her father.”
“I knew that little wasp was up to something. You know she tried to kiss me tonight?”
Az shrugs. Really could not give a fuck. “I figured something had happened from the look on your face.”
“I never liked her. Nor her father—”
“Her father,” Rhys cuts in, “walks a very fine line in presuming to exceed in his role as a Camp Lord. His ego and title are going to his head a little, it would seem, if he believes he has the authority to scheme such ideas.”
“It’s a terrible idea.” Cass says. Neither of the other two noticed him get up, but he’s returning to his seat, speaking around a mouthful of food. “All Illyrians in one big camp? They’ll kill each other.”
Rhys is inclined to agree. But he turns a neutral — maybe gentle — expression on Az and asks him, “Do you want to go to Fenlaros?”
It would kill him if Az said yes. Would kill Cass, too. These recent days of being torn apart by tension has been bad enough. Being in different camps and not seeing each other is an almost unbearable thought.
But they would find a way to live with it, if Az decided he wanted to go. They’d find a way to be okay with it.
Such thick silence fills the room that the thudding of all three of their hearts is audible.
But then Azriel replies quietly, “No.”
Neither Rhys nor Cassian bother to hide their relief.
“I told Kaeda I would think about it.” Azriel goes on. “And I told Y/N that I’d promised Kaeda that. But I don’t think I’ve ever really intended to think about it — or needed to. I think…I think I was just using it to bide my time. To create space for myself and…avoid everything else.”
“By everything else,” Cassian chomps into a loaf of bread, “do you mean facing your feelings for Y/N?”
Azriel can’t deny it. He nods. “It’s not an easy thing to face…to be vulnerable. Hiding behind this Fenlaros situation has just been easier. Cowardly, yes, but…easier.”
“You can’t keep pushing her away, though, Az.” Rhys says. “You can’t let her think that you might be leaving if you have no intention of doing so.”
The shadowsinger’s eyes flutter shut, thick, dark lashes grazing his cheekbones. “Do you think I’ve fucked it beyond repair?”
“No.” Cassian offers. “But you will, if you don’t start handling this the right way. Tell Kaeda and Tathaln to fuck off. Tell Y/N you’re in love with her and want to see her naked—”
“Watch it.” Azriel warns quietly, but Cass continues, unperturbed.
“Just start letting more people in. And I’ll stop letting so many people in, because it gets me into trouble. I think…I think we all need to grow up a little. Do better.”
Rhysand’s brow pinches. “What do you mean, we all do? I’ve done nothing other than put my own pleasure aside to advise you idiots. What could I possibly need to do better?”
Cassian shrugs. “That haircut, for one. It’s annoying.”
“And when was the last time your hair saw a comb, Cassian?”
“When was the last time you were generous and made tea for your good, long-suffering friend?”
“So this is about the tea.”
“Of course it’s about the tea, jackass. Zakai clearly isn’t with you for your observational skills…”
Azriel sits back, allowing their bickering to become background noise. There’s a warmth to the sight, the sound, that makes him realise he never again wants a repeat of this situation — of being apart from his friends for days, tension thick between them.
He loves Rhys and Cassian. Loves them dearly.
Another reason why he could never, ever turn his back on this place.
And he finds himself actually being…grateful…that Cass was there for Y/N that night. That she didn’t have to suffer her self-loathing alone.
There’s still a lot to get through, of course. Daunting emotions and truths to face head-on. But as he watches the two loveable idiots in front of him take verbal swipes at each other, it’s the first time in a while that he wonders if things might actually be okay.
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The news is announced the next day, when Lord Devlon gathers a rather colourful bunch of his soldiers in the mead hall and stands at the front, silencing them all with a single shout. Rhys, Cassian and Azriel stand against the far back wall, their arms folded over their chests.
Gods, they hope it’s not another training exercise. Not so soon. Az has things he wants to resolve before he saunters off and possibly gets himself killed.
But Devlon reads the roll of parchment in his hands, a frown contorting his features. He looks up, his eyes very deliberately finding Rhysand as he announces to the room, “A message from the High Lord.”
And every other gaze is then swivelling to turn on Rhys, too. There’s something accusatory about it, like they’re assuming he’s privy to whatever it is their asses have been dragged out of bed to hear.
He isn’t. He wants to be in bed, too.
“Looks like you pricks better get your dancing shoes ready.” Devlon raises his eyebrows. “The High Lord is calling for a ball. Legions from all camps invited.”
This — this is exciting news for the brutish males who could fill the mead hall with their egos alone. Not because they have a particular affinity for dancing, but because amongst themselves, they’re already murmuring about which particular camps they dislike for some reason or other, and what they plan to do about it. So many bloodthirsty streaks are painted in those males’ eyes, stamping out the tiredness that lay there only moments before.
Nothing pricks an Illyrian male’s ears up quite like the prospect of a fight.
“The legions from each camp have been carefully selected, and you lucky fuckers will be representing Windhaven.” The Camp Lord continues, disdain dripping from his voice. He wants his men out there training in the cold, not prancing around a dance floor. “Plus-ones are allowed, also, so it might be time to splash out on a pretty gown for whoever is warming your bed these days. The ball is to be held on Starfall, at a neutral venue of the High Lord’s choosing, and I expect you all to make Windhaven — and me — look good. Any questions?”
“Do we actually have to dance?” One male asks, while another one pipes up with, “Will those pricks from Camp Steelshore be there?”
Rhys shuts out the litany of battling voices as he turns a concerned look on Az and Cass. Their expressions mirror his own. Something about this feels…off.
So while he looks like he’s merely lounging against the wall, hands in his pockets, he sends his inner claws spearing straight for Devlon’s mind. He doesn’t give away what he’s doing, not even slightly, as he roots around in the Camp Lord’s thoughts and grabs for his glimpse of the letter. Rhys scans it, drops the thought, and he’s out of Devlon’s mind and straightening himself up before the male can so much as flinch.
“Let’s go.” He tells his friends, and not Devlon nor the males around them seem to care as Azriel and Cassian follow him, the formidable trio traipsing out into the thawing snow, regardless of whether the meeting is over or not.
They’re halfway back to the house, safely out of earshot, when Cassian finally barks, “A ball? What the fuck?”
“At the request of Tathaln Baralas.” Rhys reveals. “That’s what the letter said. He took the idea to my father, and the asshole is humouring him. This has all got to be part of Tathaln’s plan.”
Cassian scowls and spits his disdain at the ground. “Someone needs to drive a poison arrow through that prick’s heart already. I don’t like this one bit.”
“It’s my father’s intentions I’m worried about.” Rhys shakes his head. “Tathaln only has the power that my father gives him. One word from him and this idea could be snuffed out and never mentioned again. And I expected that to be the case. Arrogant as fuck he may be, but my father isn’t stupid. He’ll know what a terrible idea this is, and I would have predicted that he’d laugh in Tathaln’s face for mentioning it. I didn’t think he’d actually entertain it…which means—”
“There’s something in it for him.” Azriel finishes.
Rhysand nods. “Every single move and choice my father makes is, ultimately, for his own gain. He would never agree to anything if he weren’t getting something out of it himself. Whatever Tathaln has proposed to him…my father will be using it for his own gain.”
Cassian opens the door to the cottage and strides in, forgetting — as always — to kick the snow from his boots. “What, though?” He asks. “What could Tathaln have that your father could want?”
Rhys shrugs and waves a hand, magic promptly mopping up the wet, melting trail left in Cassian’s wake. “That, I don’t know.”
“So what do we do?” Az watches him closely, trying to read the thoughts on the male’s face. His shadows reach out to him, too. “Are you going to talk to your father? Make him see how ridiculous this idea is?”
“No,” Rhys shakes his head. “There would be no point. I could lay a whole host of truths out to my father, and he’d go against them on ego alone. He must want something badly enough for him to be throwing money into it. This ball won’t be cheap.”
“And it won’t be a ball, either.” Cassian cocks an eyebrow. Roots through the kitchen cupboards for food. “Blood will be spilled. And you can’t dance on blood. I’ve tried. Too slippy.”
Rhys chooses to ignore that little scrap of information. Mostly because he doesn’t doubt it for a second. “I don’t want us to pre-empt anything.” He says. “If I go straight to my father with concerns about any of this, it could blow up in our faces, instead. For the time being, I think we should just…go along with it. Watch it play out, and see what happens. My father is unpredictable. Even I can’t tell you what goes on in his head.”
“I can speak with Kaeda.” Az clears his throat. “See if she’ll tell me anything.”
“You have fun with that.” Cassian mumbles, biting into something. “I’d sooner chop my balls off and nail them to the front door.”
“Such a way with words. It’s no wonder, really, that females fall at your feet.”
Cass shoots him a wicked grin. And this…this is nice. What they’ve both missed. This is normal.
“I’ll keep an eye and ear out for anything.” Rhys drags them back to the subject at hand. “But my father’s good at not letting anyone know things until he wants them to know them. And he’s clearly serious about this.”
Cassian swallows. Takes another bite. “And until then? Until we know what he’s even serious about?”
Violet eyes sparkle with mischief, and one side of Rhysand’s lips tips up. “Until then, boys,” he says, “you’d better practice your dancing.”
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Azriel really hopes she’s not there, but sure enough, when he enters his room at the dorms, Kaeda is sitting up in his bed.
It gives him a little bit of satisfaction to see her look…less than perfect, for once. Her hair is knotted, and even the vibrancy of the red shade seems a little dulled. Her skin is sallow, her eyes bleary. He wonders if she’s as miserable as she currently looks.
She beholds him with a strangely coy look, like she’s waiting for him to rip into her. But if she really knew the shadowsinger, she’d know that that is not his style. He does not shout. He rarely fights physically. His danger lies in his quiet voice and icy stare.
Kaeda’s tired eyes fall to the blanket pooled around her waist, and she murmurs, “You’re angry with me.” Her throat bobs with a swallow. “I understand. But I appreciate you putting me to sleep in here when I was in a vulnerable state.”
“I would have done it for anyone.” Az presses his back against the wall, folding his arms. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
The female merely bows her head. Doesn’t bother to argue.
“I have a question.” Azriel then says. “I’d like an answer.”
“I know that Cassian has probably told you about last night, and all I can say is I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed him. I was drunk and upset and I—”
“I don’t care about that.” He really doesn’t, and it shows on his face. “I want to know what your father is playing at by organising an Illyrian ball. I don’t believe for a second that the gesture is an innocent one.”
She glances down again, but Azriel doesn’t buy the coy act for one moment.
“Kaeda.” His voice is laced with warning. “Tell me.”
“It’s just…a ball. A ball to have all camps in one place, so he can get a good look at what each one has to offer. It’s nothing sinister.”
“So, a chance for him to scout more supporters for his cause.”
“He’s trying to make a change, Azriel. A good one—”
“He’s interfering with lives. Tearing families apart.”
“Good results require difficult choices.” Her voice hardens.
The shadowsinger bites out a cold, brusque laugh, turning away from her. “Mother above, he has you trained well.”
There’s movement behind him. Kaeda is kicking the sheets away and pushing to her feet. And she’s…seething.
“You would laugh in the face of somebody trying to make a positive change?” She snaps. “What reason have you to be so arrogant? At least my father is trying to make a difference. All you’re doing is clinging to a miserable life in a miserable place where you don’t even have a family or home of your own—”
“Except that I do.” Azriel rounds on her so quickly that his wing knocks a fragrance bottle off a shelf. “I may not have your riches, and that’s fine, because I have a group of people — a family I made — who love me enough to care whether or not I come home at night. Who want nothing less for me than happiness and contentedness, and not just to use me as a pawn in some convoluted plan that will do more harm than good. I have reason to be in Windhaven, whether it’s miserable or not. I have love here. So much of it. And there’s nothing — not a damn thing — that would make me turn my back on it.”
Something in his impassioned speech clearly hits a nerve with Kaeda. She goes still.
And she looks…small, despite being fairly tall. She looks…insignificant.
Her eyes fill with tears. One spills over and rolls down her cheek as she whispers, “Please, Azriel.”
Azriel says nothing. Stares at her.
“Please.” She takes a step closer. “I’m not above begging. I…” Her voice cracks. “I need this. I need you to say yes—”
“Your father,” he interrupts quietly, “is playing a very dangerous game. And he’s using you to do it.”
“You don’t understand. I…if I can’t give him what he wants, I’m finished. I’ll have no home to go to, nobody on my side.”
“You already have nobody on your side. You’re his daughter and he’s dangling your livelihood over your head and ready to snatch it away if he doesn’t get what he wants. You’re already finished.”
“Please.” She says again. Tears are streaming, now, and she tries fruitlessly to wipe them away. “Please, just…if this is about Y/N—”
“Do not,” he grits out, “bring her into this.”
“She’s already in this. I know that you want her and not me…that you always have…and that’s fine. Bring her to Fenlaros with you, if you must. I’m sure my father could be persuaded on that. But just…please—”
“You’re not listening, Kaeda. This isn’t just about my family. It’s about all the other families that would be separated, ripped apart by your father’s scheming. He’s power hungry. This is just the beginning of a whole host of self-serving plans that will bring him glory — do not doubt that for a second. People like him are never satisfied, and he needs to be stopped. Not encouraged.”
“You’re wrong.” Her voice is so weak, Az isn’t convinced she believes her own words. “He just wants a better future for Illyria—”
“No.” Az levels her with a pointed look. “He wants a better future for himself. I will not play a part in that, and neither will my loved ones.”
“Azriel, please—”
“I will attend your father’s ball, just as Lord Devlon has ordered me to do.” He breezes to the door, not caring that this is his room he’s leaving her behind in. He stops, palm poised on the handle. “But as for delivering a male straight into your father’s den? You better start trying that seduction on somebody else. Because there is nothing that would make me follow you into that camp.”
He leaves without a glance back. And while it sits uncomfortably inside him that he made a female cry…he can’t help feeling like he’s finally doing the right thing.
About time, too.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
This — this is the last thing you ever would have expected of coming to Velaris.
The tonic you’d needed was an extended amount of girl time with Roza. And yet here you are…in the High Lord’s arms.
“This is useless.” You murmur, aware of every single place your body brushes against his. One of his hands is a firm weight on the small of your back, the other clasping yours. “I’m not a natural dancer. Fuck, I’ve never even been to a dance.”
Fin’s mouth tips up at the corners. “There’s that filthy mouth.” His hand lets go of yours, opting to move up to the cut of your jaw, where he allows his thumb to rest on your lower lip. “You,” the pad of it swipes slowly over your mouth, “are going to be exquisite.”
You square your shoulders. Cock a challenging eyebrow. “Is that genuine encouragement, High Lord? Or an order?”
A deep chuckle. Slowly — reluctantly —he lets his hand drop. “Both.”
Flirting with him like this, playing the part of the High Lord’s pet, is a necessary evil. You’re just so surprisingly good at it that you can’t discern whether it’s an affront to him, or to Roza. Or both.
But you can’t deny that you’ve been flattered by his undivided attention this past week. And perhaps he’s been flattered by yours, too.
Mother bless Roza for her undying support. The best you can do for her, right now, is to keep her in the loop. She merely tells you to be careful.
But a week — a week of cosying up to Fin, of breaking through his exterior and appealing yourself to him. You humour him with these dance lessons, with the preposterously expensive shopping trips and dinners, the late night fireside conversations. Anything, everything, to get him to tell you what truth lies behind the excited glint in his eyes whenever he speaks of the ball. To tell you what it is he’s planning.
Perhaps you’re not appealing enough. You are no more aware than anyone else. And that’s really fucking frustrating.
At least your hard work has kept you from thinking about Azriel every five minutes.
Your breath still heaving from your dance efforts, you make your way over to the table of refreshments by the huge, arcing windows that overlook the city. The High Lord’s palace, you have to admit, is a place you might miss once you’re back in Windhaven. You’ve never been one for luxury, never had more than a few things to your name — but the views are what makes you feel like the richest person in all of Prythian. These are not the cold, barren views of your camp, but a place of such vibrancy, it sometimes makes you want to cry. It’s like the setting of a storybook, laid out right before you.
From behind, slow, graceful footsteps sweep across the wooden floor. Fin comes to a stop so closely behind you that his body heat encases you.
Fingertips make contact with your skin, the back of your neck. The sleeveless tunic you wore for your practice now feels like nothing more than a paper towel.
“You have such beautiful skin.” Fin says roughly, and you tense. So far, this week, he’s kept a respectful distance away. Hasn’t put you in any awkward positions.
You pivot under his touch, pressing your back up against the table enough that his hand drops. It’s not entirely for show as you smile apologetically and tell him, “Sorry — scars.”
Such genuine, slicing rage fills his face. The intensity of it almost knocks you breathless.
“I will kill him.” He says the words like a lover’s promise. “With my bare hands, I will kill him for taking your wings.”
He had the power to stop the practice before you were even born. He is very old — over nine-hundred-years — and very powerful. What he says, goes.
And yet…he means it. You can see it. And perhaps you have seen so much unkindness, such brutality, that little scraps of ferocity, of passion, in your defence, make you a blinded fool.
But a part of him — however small — actually cares about you. Enough to mark your abuser for death.
But your father’s blood will soak your hands, and yours only.
You smile up at him, wickedly, cunningly, prettily. “No, you won’t.” You reply. “Because I will do it first.”
And the fury in his stare simmers immediately to a different sort of heat. Your words are a flirtation to him — a cut of raw meat dangled above a hungry, waiting animal. They make him feel something.
“Such a murderous little thing.” His soft laugh caresses your skin. He sounds pleased — impressed. “I like that. I like it a lot.”
“I would hope so. I am to be your special guest at the ball, after all.” A small voice in your head wants to coax him; tell me what you’re planning, tell me what to expect.
But, as always, he steers the conversation away, a vague, mysterious smile on his face. “Do you like it here in Velaris, my murderess?”
“I do, very much so.”
“I can’t help pondering how much you would thrive here. You were made for so much more than Windhaven. Illyria, even.”
A soft, coy smile — one that comes from deep within that part of you that wants the praise, the compliments — that needs them. “Many would disagree with you.”
“Show them to me, and I will twist their minds until they see in you what I do.”
“And what is it you see in me?” A disingenuous little liar. A good actress. A traitor.
Fin leans down, and for one startling, heart-stopping, stomach-lurching moment, you think his mouth might meet yours.
But his lips brush over your cheek in a tender, barely-there caress. He presses a kiss to the skin before retracting. Straightening himself out. The way he slides his hands into his pockets with casual arrogance reminds you so much of Rhys that you miss your friend instantaneously.
“I see beauty that is unappreciated, and intelligence that is underestimated.” Fin says. “And I see a female that I wouldn’t mind having at my side.” His eyes trace you from head to toe. “I wouldn’t mind it at all.”
No response sits on your tongue. You think you might be too surprised by the genuine praise. The fact that the High Lord actually feels some level of affection towards you.
Maybe you’re not so bad at these games.
He turns without waiting for your response, and only when he’s at the door does he make eye contact with you over his shoulder.
“Keep practicing the dancing, my murderess.” He says. “We’ll make a fine pair at that ball.”
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
If Roza weren’t so worried, she might laugh at the three expressions of outrage that meet her when she strolls into the cottage.
Rhysand jumps up immediately and demands, “Did you fly here? You’re supposed to be resting.”
Roza merely rolls her eyes and shuts the door behind her. “Don’t get your undergarments in a bunch, Rhysand. I’m pregnant — not on my death bed. The babe is fine.”
Her son does not look convinced. Neither do Azriel or Cassian. As if they’re, like, experts on pregnancy, or something.
“What are you doing here, mother?” Rhys stalks straight to the fire and stokes it. Then straight over to the kitchen to make a hot drink. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes. Mostly.” Roza pauses. “I hope.”
Azriel sits up at that. “Is Y/N alright?”
“She’s fine.” If playing games with the High Lord of the Night Court can be considered fine. Roza eases herself into a seat, and Cassian is promptly propping cushions behind her back. “I want to talk to you about the ball.”
Cass’s lips turn up into a half-smile. “We’ll be on our best behaviour, Roz. Promise.”
“You’d better be. Because I want all three of you looking out for Y/N at that ball, do you hear me?”
The command is a firm one, and yet the three males don’t straighten up at her matriarchal tone like they usually do. Instead, they share a puzzled glance, frowns pinching their features.
“It’s a ball for Illyrian soldiers and their guests of choice.” Rhys explains, carrying a steaming mug over to her. “None of us are bringing her along. Not to that.”
“You may not be.” Roza slides a protective hand over her bump. “But your father is.”
All three males go so preternaturally still, it’s almost frightening.
Rhys bites out, quietly, “What?”
“Your father is taking Y/N to the ball as his special guest. He’s bought her a gown, taught her to dance — he’s serious about this.”
“He can’t.” The shadowsinger’s face is like rolling thunder. “He cannot take her there. All those males—”
“That’s precisely why I’m not attending. He needs someone in my place, and he’s taking Y/N.”
“He can choose someone else.” Azriel’s clipped tone, his panic, is not at all personal to Roza. Usually, he would never speak to her in such a way, but—
But this is Y/N they’re talking about. Y/N in the High Lord’s hands, at a ball with so many Illyrian males, too many Illyrian males.
“Watch your tone, Azriel.” Rhys warns, but Roza is holding up a hand. Because she gets it — the panic.
“I’ve tried telling him to take somebody, anybody, else.” She says. “He’s insistent — absolutely adamant that he wants Y/N.”
“But why?” Cassian frowns.
“I don’t know. I don’t know if his kindness to her is genuine or not.” She shakes her head, absentmindedly stroking her bump. “All I know is that he’s taking Y/N to that ball, and I’m not going to be there. You know, Rhysand, that there is no changing your father’s mind once it’s set. I need the three of you to look out for her.”
Because Y/N is just as much a daughter to Roza as the little girl growing in her belly. They know that.
Rhys inclines his head, reaching out to place a hand over Roza’s. “We will, mother.” He promises. “Whatever game he’s playing…we’ll look after Y/N.”
Roza’s eyes dart to Azriel, to Cassian. “Do you promise?”
“We promise.” Cassian, unfazed as always, grins. “You just focus on the little one, Roz.”
Azriel’s face is grave, but he nods once. “We won’t let her out of our sight.”
Y/N is in good hands with them, Roza knows. She may even be in good hands with Fin, depending on what his true intentions are. Perhaps being at the High Lord’s side is the safest place she can be. It’s an unknown.
But one thing Azriel does know, as he wishes and wishes for this damn ball to just be over already, is that he’s wracked with guilt.
He can’t help feeling like it’s his fault — that his actions, his behaviour, chased Y/N right into a viper’s den.
That he’ll stop at nothing to get her out of it.
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pom tags: @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @sirenpearldust @queercodedcharacter @azriels-shadowsinger @ruler-of-hades @demi03 @magicaldragonlady @abrielletargaryen @ralsieq @v3lv3tf0x @achase2002 @feyretopia @hayrunnwr @don’t-feed-the-hipsters @brekkershadowsinger @piceous21 @bloodicka @acourtofinkandpapyrus @riri-is-agirlie @siriusement @4valyries @socmono @azriels-mate123 @acourtofbatboydreams @katherinearcheron @nesemi @lupinswolfsbanes @dreaming-unafraid @dxnniiix @cyrygher @liddyr03 @lmllsl @nightless @teenageeggscissorslawyer @brighterthanlonelythoughts @blitz-fall @maybefoxysouls @mschanand1erbong @juiceboxreads @bangtanbecks @florencemtrash @hyemishii @obixix @thenovarose @meshellexplosionmurder @angzlxna @lissy31xoxo-blog @supernatural99 @positivewitch @art3-m1ss @milfhunter-pdx @bbuckysbeardd @coralseacourt @towhateverend87 @sspookz @bird-on-the-wire33 @morrie-rose @megwan @catscanteleport @sevikas-whore @thickthighs-sadeyes @hihelloitsbooktimeppl
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amongemeraldclouds · 2 months
Text
Firewhiskey Confessions
After drinking to cope with your heartbreak, you find a reliable confidante to spill your guts to. Except, he is not who he seems.
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Soft!Mattheo Riddle x Reader
Warning: alcohol, fluff, no use of y/n
Author’s note: Just a silly idea, this is unserious. Official entry for @thatdammchickennugget's Hogmarch challenge, prompt 2.
✿ Masterlist | 810 words
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I never drank. Obviously, anyone can do what they want with their kidneys. I just didn’t like the idea of slurring my words or tilting gravity for fun, and I preferred to keep my mind sharp.
And yet, my world had tilted anyway without alcohol to blame.
As for my sharp mind? Well, here at Mattheo’s birthday party, all that precious sharp mind has done is hack away at my heart. So screw it. I need a drink.
I grab a shot of firewhiskey as a tray passes by and down it in one gulp, wincing. Well, no one drinks alcohol for its taste. I shake it off and move to the nearest tray for another shot. 
Five shots in, I feel flushed and ready for gravity to tilt, a familiar occurrence at this point. I sneak off to another room when I see Mattheo greeting his guests, laughter pealing and glasses clinking. Everyone is having a great time. Yay! 
In the quiet of the receiving area, I wrap my arm across a coated gentleman for support. “Avoiding the party too, huh?”
When he doesn’t reply, I continue. “Well, don’t worry. I’m not judging you. You see I,” I say, pointing at myself for emphasis, “am avoiding Mattheo. Why did I come to his party only to avoid him, you ask? Well one might say, I don’t make very smart decisions.”
I blink, trying to catch my train of thought.
“You seem to be a very good listener,” I ponder, bringing my face closer to his shoulder since he’s too tall for me to reach his ear. “Can I tell you a secret? But ssshhhh you can’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”
“I’m in love with Mattheo Riddle and I screwed it all up. Last week, he kissed me during a game of spin the bottle and I just knew there was nothing friendly about the kiss. So what did I do? Confess my long harbored feelings for my best friend like an emotionally intelligent woman?”
“Pssh, nah,” I wave it off.
“Remember, I don’t make smart decisions. What I did was ignore him for a week and then act like nothing happened. By the time I stopped ignoring him, he already had a girlfriend so I’m avoiding him again. I’ll spare you the details, but she’s wonderful. Can’t even hate her if I tried. They’re going to make gorgeous pureblood babies and live happily ever after. I’m so happy for them, but why couldn’t it have been me?” I hiccup.
“Answer me,” I poke at his side.
Instead, I hear an amused voice behind me. “Why are you talking to a coat?”
“I’m not talking to a coat, you’re talking to a coat,” I turn and point at…oh, Mattheo.
“Darling, why are you drinking?” He says, moving towards me.
I blink. “Why do you think I’m talking to a coat?”
“Because you are,” he deadpans. 
Oh. I step back and take a good look at my companion. I sway and Mattheo catches me. “Why do you hang your coats on mannequins instead of racks like everyone else?”
“In case you didn’t notice, I live in a mansion. Not like everyone else either,” he explains patiently like he’s talking to a child.
“Come on, you’re drunk. Let’s take you to my room to rest,” he says guiding me.
I focus my attention on staying upright. When we reach his room, he helps me lay down his bed and hands me a glass of water to help me sober up.
“How much of that did you hear?” I ask when my mind clears up a little.
“Do you want the truth or do you want to save yourself from embarrassment?” He asks.
I groan and bury my head in my hands.
He places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Well if you must know, I don’t have very friendly feelings towards you either, it’s more than that. But when you started ignoring me, I thought you didn’t like me.”
I look at him then and tilt my head, confused.
“Darling, if you stopped avoiding me, I would have very easily told you that I’m only fake dating to help save a friend from a toxic ex-boyfriend,” he explains.
“Wait,” I feel the gears in my head spinning. It’s rusty, but we’re getting there. “So you don’t have a girlfriend and you’re in love with me too?”
“In short, yes,” he says gently.
“Huh,” I grin. “That worked out well, I should drink more.”
“Absolutely not,” Mattheo protests. And then, “really? That’s your takeaway?” He shakes his head, covering me with the blanket. 
I close my eyes with a satisfied smile and sink into the soft, cozy sheets. As I drift off to sleep, I distantly hear Mattheo say, “get rest, we’ll talk more tomorrow,” and faintly feel him kiss my forehead.
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astonmartingf · 13 days
Text
HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT ; MSC47
childhood friends to lovers! mick schumacher x verstappen!reader . . . when push comes to shove, you would never admit to having a crush on mick as you grew older. this however ends up with you convincing yourself that he would never love you outside the platonic relationship you built through the years, despite all evidence pointing to the obvious— he loves you, but you think not.
amgf this has been plaguing my mind, and after writing atrocious angst (ybom) i'm here to write a palate cleanser on my mind 😔 i also chose to write this instead of study for a chemistry exam, i keep making the wrong decisions but seeing as i made this was it so wrong??? i think not. enjoy like always 👍
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yourusername
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liked by mickschumacher, maxverstappen1, and 76,863 others
yourusername some things never change 🐻
view comments...
user1 and now what? what are we?????
user2 awww baby mick and baby yn are adorable
user3 the way yn is more attached to mick than max
user4 i remember in an interview where jos said when he couldn't find yn he'd look for mick since he was a tall boy
user5 wait where? when was this?
user6 in an old interview, idk when but it was with michael as well
user7 they're actually so adorable, oh my gosh
mickschumacher terrorizing the earth, one forest at a time, here's to more hikes in the future 💖
yourusername you bet i'll be there, it's scary how we aren't sick of each other yet
mickschumacher i mean it's you, why would i be sick of you?
yourusername as you should!!! i'm great to be with
maxverstappen1 mick is just too kind to kick you out
yourusername you're jealous we kicked you out!
user8 they're actually all that's in my head
user9 how are they not dating????
user10 because people of different sex can be friends?
user11 i get the shipping but they're good as friends so why?
user12 i mean they look good together, it's just wishful thinking
user13 oh imagine having a good looking childhood friend and not dating them, ofc they've been friends for so long wtf
user14 i mean, they are a good match so, leave people alone for shipping them
user15 they may be a good match but it's still weird so idgaf you're wrong
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mickschumacher
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liked by yourusername and 726,947 others
mickschumacher with the feel of your hand on mine 🐇
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user16 oh gosh please help them realize what they're made for each other
user17 i was so convinced they're just friends but then mick pulls shit like this
user18 i can't keep on defending you if you do this???? boy?
yourusername if you hadn't held my hand then and there i would've flown away
mickschumacher okay that's exaggerating, but as if i'd let that happen
yourusername because it was so strong, you were holding my hand tightly
mickschumacher are you complaining or thanking me?
yourusername thank you mick 🫡 you're the bestest friend ever
user19 they're actually driving me insane
user20 even the wind ships them
user21 don't you think that's the universe making a sign to both of you?
user22 "as if i'd let that happen" okay mick, wtfffff why is he doing this?
user23 they can't keep doing this and just pulling the best friend card at the end, they need to hold responsibility for us
liked by maxverstappen1
user24 bro max liked????
user25 what does he know? wym??? max oomf, why are you liking this comment?
user26 max is tired of their bullshit i know
user27 if max is tired we can be of help, i for one am volunteering out of the goodness of my heart and not because of my nosy ass
user28 okay yn and mick you can share it with the class
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yourusername
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liked by gina_schumacher, victoriaverstappen, and 86,047 others
yourusername a week of mick 🐻
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user29 yn is with mick instead of being at a grand prix????
user30 you're telling me they're just friends? shut up actually
user31 i'm deluding myself and saying they're dating
user32 they're so cute (they're driving me crazy 😮‍💨😩😭😀😊🥹😠)
mickschumacher thank you for watching me hase
yourusername ofc!!!! i am your number one fan bärchen 💖
maxverstappen1 is this the important thing you have going on?
yourusername yes it is, it's not like you won or smth
maxverstappen1 wow... am i going to have to steal you from mick now?
yourusername bold of you to assume i would leave mick
user33 they're actually insane wtgfhfjg
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yourusername uploaded a new story
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[look, it's a bear!] [jk it's my boyfriend hehehehe]
view replies to your story...
user34 OH NOOOO
user35 is this MICK? hello? mick stand up??!
user36 what about mick 🥹
user37 a soft launch out of nowhere? wth????
user38 this is mick? it's Mick isn't it? please tell me tkzusbdkajdj I NEED TO KNOW!NNN
mickschumacher you're evil hase, what have you done
i want to have you to myself a little longer, is that so wrong 😠
mickschumacher i don't think anyone can have me like you do
YEAH!! that's right, i love you bärchen 💖
mickschumacher i love you hase 💖
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