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meichenxi · 3 years

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Dear ‘White guy speaks perfect X and shocks Y!’ language YouTubers: STOP

A rant about every single fucking video by Xiaomanyc and similar YouTubers all titled things like CLUELESS WHITE GUY/GIRL LEARNS [INSERT NON-WHITE LANGUAGE HERE] AND SHOCKS [INSERT PLACE].

Disclaimer: I am white British, and I am also very often a moron. I'm trying to inform myself more, and would like to learn. So let me know if there is anything I should change, anything I’ve got wrong or any terminology I can change.

So this evening I opened YouTube to get some quality Hikaru no Go content, and saw yet another video recommended to me about Xiaomanyc called Clueless white guy orders in perfect Chinese, shocks patrons and staff!!!!

Really? Really. Ok, his Chinese certainly is good - but it isn't great. And it isn’t necessarily any better than people I've seen in the higher levels of a class at university who have spent some time in China. It's solidly intermediate. That's not an insult - that level of Chinese is hard to attain, and definitely worth celebrating!! Hell, I celebrate every new word I learn. But while it may be unusual, it doesn't forgive the clickbait type videos like 'White guy speaks perfect Chinese and wows [insert place]'.

These kind of clickbait titles rest on a number of assumptions. Before I say any more, I just want to make a note about terminology. Note that ’majority’ and ‘minority’ are not necessarily helpful labels, because they imply both a) a higher number of speakers in a certain place, and b) socially prestigious in some way. Of course a language like standard Mandarin is not a minority in China, but it might be in Germany. Talking about ‘minority’ languages that have a large speaker base outside of the country, like Chinese, is also not the same as talking about languages that have been systematically surpressed by a colonising, dominant language in their original communities, like indigenous languages. In many communities, especially in colonial and post-colonial situations, the language spoken by the majority is not one of prestige at all. Or some languages may be prestigious and expected in oral contexts, but not written - and so on. I use these terms here as best I can, but don't expect them to work 100% of the time.

So let’s unpack these assumptions a little.

1) That there is something inherently more ‘worthy’ in somebody who learns languages because they want to, rather than because they have to: and that, correspondingly, the people who want to are white (spoilers: much of Europe is multilingual, and white immigrants in majority white countries also exist, as well as discrimination against them e.g. Polish people in the UK), and that those who have to learn are not (spoilers: really? There are plenty of non-white monolinguals who are either happy being monolingual, don’t have access to learning, or don’t have to learn another language but are interested in it).

2) That everybody from a certain background automatically speaks all ‘those’ languages already, or that childhood multilingualism is a free pass - spoilers, it isn’t. Achieving high levels of fluency in multiple languages is hard, especially for languages with different writing systems, because no matter how perfect your upbringing, you’re still ultimately exposed to it maximum 50% of the time of monolingual speakers. Realistically, most people get far less exposure than 50% in any of their languages. Also, situations of multilingualism in many parts of the world are far more complex than home language / social language. You might speak one language with your father and his father, another with your mother and her family, another in the community, and another at school. Which one is your native language then? Monolinguals tell horror stories of ‘both cups half empty’ scenarios, but come on - how on earth do you expect a person to have the same size vocabulary in a language they hear only 25% of the time? Also, languages are spoken in different domains, to different people, in different social situations: just because someone hears Farsi at home doesn’t mean they can give a talk on the filing system at their local library. If something is outside of a multilingual person’s langauge domain, they might have to learn the vocabulary for it just like monolinguals. There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect bilingual’.

3) That learning another language imperfectly for leisure is laudable, but learning one imperfectly for work or survival is not. If you’re a speaker of a minority language, learning another language is necessary, ‘just what you have to do’, and if you don’t do it ‘properly’, that’s because of your lack of intelligence / laziness etc. It’s cool for the seconday school student to speak a bit of bad Japanese, but not so cool for the Indian guy who runs her favourite restaurant in Tokyo.

4) That majority speakers learning a minority language is somehow an act of surprising benevolence that should not go unrewarded. Languages are intrinsically tied up with identity - and access to them may not be a right, but a gift. Don’t assume that because you get a good reception with some speakers of one language that speakers of another will be grateful you’re learning their language, or that everyone will react the same. One of the reasons these videos are possible at all is that many Chinese speakers, in my experience, are incredibly welcoming and enthusiastic to non-natives learning Chinese. Some languages and linguistic groups have been so heavily persecuted that imagining such thing as an ‘apolitical’ language learner is a fundamental misunderstanding of the context in which the language is spoken, and essentially an impossibility when the act of speaking claims ownership to a group. Many people will not want you to learn their language, because it has been suppressed for hundreds of years - it’s theirs, not yours. We respect that. Whilst it’s great to learn a minority language, don’t do it for the YouTube likes - do it because you’re genuinely interested in the language, people, culture and history. We don’t deserve anything special for having done so.

5) That speaking a ‘foreign’ (i.e. culturally impressive / prestigious) language is much more impressive and socially acceptable than speaking a heritage language, home language or indigenous language. There are harmful language policies all around the world that simultaneously encourage the learning of ‘educational’ languages like Spanish, and at the same time forbid the use of the child’s mother tongue in class. And many non-majority languages are not foreign at all - they were spoken here, wherever you are, before English or Spanish or Russian or, yes, standard Mandarin Chinese. Policies that encourage standardised testing in English from a very young age like the ‘No Child Left Behind’ policy in the US disproportionately affect indigenous communities that are trying to revitalise their language against overwhelming callousness and cruelty - they expect bilingual children to attain the same level of English as a monolingual in first grade, which in an immersion school, they obviously won’t (and shouldn’t - they’ll get enough exposure to English as they grow up to make it not matter later down the line). But if the schools want funding, their kids have to pass those tests.

There’s more to cover - that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Some people’s response to these videos and why the titles are ‘wrong’ would be: does it matter that he's white? Shouldn't it just be 'second language learner speaks perfect Chinese'? This is the same sort of attitude as ‘I don’t see race’. I think it does matter that he is white - because communities of many languages around the world are so used to them having to learn a second language and colonial powers not bothering to learn theirs. You wouldn't get the same reactions in these videos if he were Asian American but grew up speaking / hearing no Chinese - because then it would be expected. You also wouldn't get the same reaction if he were an immigrant in a Chinese-speaking community from somewhere else in Asia.

It also implies that all white people = monolingual Americans with no interest in other cultures. While we all are complacent and complicit in failing to educate ourselves about the effects of historical and modern colonialism, titles like this perpetuate a very harmful stereotype - and I don't mean harmful as in 'poor Xiaomanyc', but harmful in that it suggests that this attitude is ok, it's part of 'being white', and therefore doesn't need to change. The reaction when someone doesn't engage with other cultures and isn't willing to learn about them shouldn't be 'lmao classic white guy'. That not only puts the subject in a group with other 'classic white guys', but puts a nice acceptable label on what really is privilege, a lack of curiosity, ignorance, and the opportunity (which most non-white people don't have) to have everything you learn in school and university be about you. If you're ignorant - ok. We are all about many things. But you don't have any excuse not to educate yourself. The 'foreigner experience' that white people get in places like China is not the same as immigrants in a predominantly monolingual, predominantly white English speaking area. As we can see in those kind of videos, white foreigners may be stared at, but ultimately enjoy huge privilege in many places around the world. It's not the same.

It also ignores, well, essentially the whole of Europe outside the UK and Ireland and many other places around the globe, where multilingualism is incredibly common - and where the racial dichotomy commonly heard in America isn't quite appropriate, or an oversimplification of many complex ethnic/national/racial/religious/linguistic etc factors that all influence discrimination and privilege. Actually many 'white guys' in Europe and places all around the world speak four or five languages to get by - some in highly privileged upbringings and school systems, yes, but others because they have grown up in a border town, or because they are immigrants and want to give their children a better start than they did, or because they want to work abroad and send home money. Many, like people all around the world, don't get a chance to learn to read and write their first language or dialect, which is considered 'lesser' than the majority language (French, Russian, English etc); many people, like Gaelic speakers in Scotland or speakers of Basque in France, have faced historical persecution and have been denied opportunities for speaking their mother tongue. My mother was beaten and my grandparents denied jobs for being Gaelic speakers. They are white, and they have benefited from being white in lots of other ways - but their linguistic experience is light-years from Xiaomanyc's.

It isn't 'white' to be surprised at a white person speaking another language - it's just ignorant. But the two ARE correlated, because who in modern America can afford to go through twenty one years and still be ignorant? People who have never had to learn a second language; people who have always had everybody adapt to THEIR linguistic needs, and not the other way around. People who have had all media, all books, centred around people who look like them and speak like them. And even in America, that's not just 'white' - that's specifically white (often middle class) English monolinguals.

I'm not saying everybody who doesn't speak a language should feel guilty for not learning one ( it's understandably not the priority for everyone - economic reasons, family, only so many hours in the day - there are plenty of reasons why language learning when you don’t have to is also not accessible to everyone). But be aware of the double standards we have as a society towards other socially/racially/religiously disadvantaged groups versus white college grads. You can't demonise one whilst lauding the other.

To all language YouTubers - do yourself a favour, and stop doing this. Your skills are impressive - that's enough.

tldr; clickbait titles like this rely on double standards and perpetuate harmful ideas - don't write them, and let your own language skills do the talking please.

#linguistics #lingblr #racism #sociolinguistics #languages #langblr #polyglot community #I don't really know what to tag this as #chinese #xiaomanyc #taking a break from my break to clearly post about two (2) things #hualian over on main and this here #meichenxi manages

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 3 years

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Question- you really don’t like Bakugou and I get you don’t like how he’s being shown. But how would you write it? Hes kind of a typical character for this sort of anime, the rival whose a jerk after all.

The issue here is that Bakugou ISN’T a rival. Not like we’re being told. He’s a bully who has been abusing and tormenting Izuku for years. As well as others honestly- first scene we get has him beating up Izuku for wanting to protect a kid Bakugou is beating up.

I’ve said it to others but the first two season of BNHA? Bakugou IS NOT a good person. He just isn’t. He’s rude to everyone, he’s got an ego a mile wide and he still bullies Izuku and others. It just gets played off for some reason.

The closest to the idea of a rival would be Todoroki before he became friends with Izuku.

So... how would I fix it?

First- Bakugou needs to be punished more and fail more. I would also want a much longer ‘redemption’ arc.

By this, I mean I want him in detention after the battle trials for using his gauntlets and ignoring All Might. I want him shocked at this and I want Aizawa to sit the fuck up about that.

Because in my experience at a shitty ass school, kids who are smart, skilled and strong can get away with a lot of shit. And I have no doubts that Aldera was like that, to also gain the prestige of having Bakugou come from their school. We see it how he was allowed to blow up a desk and mock everyone.

So I want him to get some culture shock here, but I also want it a RED FLAG because I honestly do think that someone like Bakugou is common for hero schools. I mean, who wouldn't want to brag a hero came from their school? So in my mind, there’s systems in place to either yank the arrogance out of the kids or just to remove them.

So I want his shock, and I want the teachers watching him closer. I want Aizawa to wonder why the fuck he attacks Izuku so much. I want him to look at this ‘rivalry’ and see the truth.

Then I want Bakugou to get in shit for USJ. I want him given detention again for charging in and causing problems for Thirteen. Kirishima to. I want the teachers to see how Kirishima does feel bad and sorry, but Bakugou gets angry they’re punishing him because he fucking would.

Sports festival? Bakugou gets disqualified for jumping off his horse. Plain and simple. I want Midnight to go: NO about it. I want him to rage and detention again. Or if not here, then attacking Todoroki after the match? He needs to be disqualified.

Further on, I would have more visible issues with him and the class. I want them to be NOT okay with being insulted by him. I want them to all shake their head and make faces when he calls them extra. I want Kirishima to slowly become uncomfortable with it because he was bullied in middle school.

I also would have the teachers step in. I would have them scold him for his insulting nicknames and actions. I would really have his actions be corrected.

And while this happens I want Izuku to realize how Bakugou treats him isn’t okay. I want teachers reaching out to him to ask, to check on him. I want Izuku moving away from the idea he owes Bakugou SHIT.

I also don’t want Bakugou top three. Why?

Because it doesn’t make sense.

Yes, he is smart and willing to study and learn. But again, in my experience where an entire class failed a diploma exam for highschool, shitty schools aren’t great for teaching.

Izuku is a genius. His analysis skills, willing to train no matter what and as he is the protagonist, I would keep him high ranking. However, also in my experience teachers do grade people they don’t like harshly. An English teacher nearly failed me and my brother cause she didn’t like us and I read other essays she graded. She’s a fuck.

So I have no doubts the teachers treated Izuku horribly and he’s used to having to do much better then his peers to get a fraction of their grades.

So I would keep Izuku at four. Todoroki and Bakugou though? Swap.

Another reason here though is that as Todoroki no doubt had the best tutors and education, it makes no sense for Bakugou to rank higher than him when canonly he went to a school that wasn’t great. So I would have more of Bakugou’s world view crushed, which makes him angrier and then feeds a cycle of him trying to bully Izuku but to get stopped by the teachers, punished and Izuku realizing he can stan up for himself.

Then finals.

On one hand, with this the teachers WOULDN’T want to risk Izuku. At the same time, it would be a good test for both to see how they work with people they don’t like or are antagonistic.

So I would have Aizawa pull Izuku aside and without telling him much ask him about pairing him and Bakugou.

Izuku would think about it, but part of him still wants Bakugou to be his friend and wants to help so he agrees.

As soon as Bakugou punches him?

“Bakugou Katsuki FAIL. Midoriya Izuku pass due to his teammate turning traitor and working with the villain.”

Izuku is pulled away so the in shock Bakugou doesn’t hurt him.

This is where I would have the final hammer blow.

“Dude, that isn’t cool.” Kirishima walks away. Bakugou suddenly realizes that NO one agrees with him. That his actions aren’t okay.

And it’s all his own fault.

Basically I want Bakugou to have to work to earn being a hero. I want his entire attitude ripped apart. I want this kid to be torn down. I want him to have to realize he needs to change. Or he will never be hero.

#bakugou critical #bnha

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svnarintaro · 4 years

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forgiveness is a virtue..

read part one here

authors note: an anon asked,, so THOU SHALL RECIEVE,, also i hope y'all like fluff cause i can't write another angst for a while, i gotta stop crying for a while

synopsis: after kendo called out shinsou for being a grade a jerk, he goes off and gets immensely jealous, and he hopes and prays that he will be able to make amends

words: 1.3k

warnings: !quirkless au! and fluff

!f*ckboy! hitoshi shinsou x reader

“okay we have to put operation: bring back soft boi back into play todoroki.” kaminari was becoming crazy, he was in todoroki’s house trying to convince him to help cheer up shinsou. the poor boy had his heart torn to shreds by his crush’s best friend, he was absolutely miserable cause he was so sure he screwed up a relationship with you before he could ever start. “keep it down denki, my dad is home right now, that’s why you had to get in through my window,” todoroki mentally cursed at denki for having the worst timing imaginable. “i’m sorry dude but i really and worried about shinsou lately.. i just want to be there for him, cause i honestly think he really liked them..” the two boys were solemn without the missing person in their little trio. “so how exactly can we get remotely close to her friends without killing us?” in full honesty they were both deadly afraid of kendo. “we gotta pray to whatever higher power up there cause there is a high chance we are going to be found dead in a ditch if we aren’t smart about it.”

you on the other hand knew what happend that day, you knew how to crack at monoma for him to tell you the truth, but you just wanted to talk things out with him, you wanted the shinsou you knew back. you just wanted shinsou. “kendo i’m not mad at you at all, i understand where you’re coming from but you can’t hit people that aren’t close to you..” you hated that the two of them fought. “in her defence y/n he was in a two foot radius of kendo, i think that was close enough.” you decided to end your mini lecture then and there,”i can’t stay mad at you guys for too long~” your best friends were smiling like fools. “but do you think that he is okay? i haven’t heard any news about him from anyone.. i’m really worried about him.” oh how you just wanted to see him, you didnt even want to talk, you just wanted to see him happy, even if the source of his happiness was not you. “it has been like a week, he will go back to school sooner or later.” kendo reassured you, as much as she hated the guy she had to admit that he made you really happy. she looked at monoma and mouthed the words ‘we have to fix this.’

monoma remembered that he was in the same english class as one of shinsou’s friends and he was starting to regret saying yes to helping kendo. ‘i really have to go around talking to a peasant now? oh the things i do for those two..’ he continued to walk towards a certain boy. “hey.. you, benki or whatever do you have a minute?” denki looked up from his current napping position, “yeah no i will not let you borrow my- OH MY GOSH YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH THAT SCARY GIRL,” denki created a significant amount of distance between him and monoma. “for your information she is more than just scary, but other than that do you know where that nuisance shinsou is? if not proceed to never interact with me if it is not necessary.” denki was slow to decode the big words but he got the picture, “wait, i don’t know where he is, but i do know how to get him to show up somewhere.” and with that the two started scheming.

you on the other hand had no luck seeing shinsou walk through the door of your chemistry class, the guy in front of you noticed that you were in a little distress, “so shinsou didn’t come again? so you wouldn’t mind if i sat with you right now?” you were weary but you needed to get your mind off of this whole shinsou situation, “it’s okay if you don’t want to, i just saw that you were kinda lonely lately.. oh my name is yuki.” the boy in front of you brightly smiled, “no it’s fine here you can sit across from me.. just thank you for trying to cheer me up.” you were happy that there was someone considerate enough to hang out with you. however shinsou was around the corner witnessing yuki get super up close and personal, ‘who does he think he is, y/n is my seat mate.’ gritting his teeth in annoyance.

you got a text from an unknown number that made your blood run cold, school was over, and the sun was down. the text read, ‘hi, this boy in the park named monoma passed out on the bench can you pick him up.’ and you were getting you jacket on and bolted towards the park. you knew that he made stupid dumb decisions ever since you met him, ‘if he doesn’t end up alive i’m throwing a fit,’ you thought. you hoped that you weren’t too late.

“SHOOT SHE’S FREAKING FAST I SEE HER COMING AROUND THE CORNER” kaminari complained as he saw you coming towards the park, he was the one to text you about monoma. they just needed to get you to get to the park but they didn’t know that you would come to the park but they underestimated your speed. “it’s okay we got it done.” todoroki assured denki that it was okay, kendo and monoma gave them the thumbs up to indicate that they were done and all they needed to do was hide, “i feel like you guys only keep me around because of my dad’s money..” “todo i like having you around but we gotta boogie outta here cause toshi toshi’s gotta shine right now.”

the moment you got to the park you noticed the trail of candles leading to a small gazebo that was at the park, and you were going to walk away but you saw that there was a note with your name on it that wrote “y/n please follow the path,” ‘okay what is going on here,’ you thought as you walked forward, following the candle lit path. and once you met the end you looked up to see shinsou. he was in black ripped jeans and a write t-shirt, the gazebo was decorated with white fairy lights, making shinsou look like a prince in the lighting. shinsou turned to see you here, in font of him, he had the wind knocked out of his lungs just by seeing your face, “y/n..” he slowly walked towards you and continued to talk.

“i know that i resorted to go back to my old ways.. i know that i could never be good for you, i know that i was..” he breathed in to stop himself from crying. “scared, i was scared of you not feeling the same way that i felt about you and in the end i hurt you. i hate myself for doing that, and i know that i have no right to come up in front of you and tell you that i like you when i have no actions to make up for it.” you were in tears, what he was saying was absolutely beautiful. “there is no words that can express how much you mean to me, and i hope that you know that, i know that forgiveness is a formidable virtue that is invaluable and you don’t have to accept anything.” you took a step forward, “shinsou, i know that you think that you aren’t good enough for me.. but the fact that you changed, the fact that you want me to forgive you.. it shows that you changed for the better.” you were now in arms reach of him. “now if you want my forgiveness, then please..” you wrapped your ars around him, taking in his warm scent, “please don’t go, toshi.. please don’t go, i want you to stay.” shinsou cupped your cheeks in his hands, his eyes shined as if his whole world was in his hands, you were his world. “y/n is it okay if i.. courted you?” you smile, and grabbed the outside of his hand, you felt his warmth and nodded.

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rigelmejo · 3 years

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listening reading method updates

Some updates because I’ve done Listening Reading Method maybe 10-15 hours within the past week and wow is it worth doing (for me) if done properly:

First some notes of what “properly” means for me: It means I’ve done step 2 at some point (since I’m using all books I have at least vague prior context for whether its this past year or in life I’ve seen them before). It means I do step 2 first. Then I do step 3, with parallel text so I keep my place OR do it in Pleco (doing step 3 in Pleco is strangely super effective for me).

So, I’ve been testing my general listening comprehension. How I’ve tested it: listening to some audio file of a chapter I did with L R method, and see if I can understand it better. So no text aid. Also generally some time gap (at least a few days) between when I did L R, and when I listen to test my comprehension.

Limits of test: this is not new material - I have both prior context of the plot, and doing L R method on the material before means I have intensively studied that audio material with L R method at one point. I’m trying to find some ‘totally unknown’ stuff to test with too we’ll see.

Benefits of the test: its easy to compare my progress, because I’ve listened to these audios many times so I know where my ‘comprehension’ of them was at a few months ago. I can more easily compare.

---

So anyway, has L R Method helped listening comprehension? YES god oh my god.

I listened to Chapter 9 of Guardian’s audiobook just falling asleep, because I didn’t feel like full on L R Method the chapter (I have done Listening Reading Method for chapters 1-8). I could understand enough to follow the entire main plot and all the main scenes - a few descriptive sentences lost me, but I got all the action-related (touched reached stood cried shouted left side pocket held objects movement and set phrases priest uses for certain expressions), key emotion related (like sad cold warm kind sharp worried investigated pushed shivered and set phrases I remember priest using for certain expressions) details, and got all of the main dialogue (this part context helps for though since words like reincarnation and sundial are fairly new to me and I only understand since I already ran into them in previous chapters I’ve done L R Method with).

I was freaking FLOORED I could just listen and enjoy the story, so today I listened to chapter 1 again. And YEP - same thing applied. I could follow all of the main plot, main scenes, and certain details. I totally missed the part where he talks about his aunt/uncle but I heard his bad grades, got the letter for a job notice, how he hates phone calls, his plan to go, him getting to the place, what the place looked like and Wang Zheng and all the scenes at the job - so like I mentioned, actions/emotions/real objects being interacted with I can mostly follow. The paragraphs of description background (like Guo Changcheng’s upbringing and how his uncle got him a job) are harder for me to catch everything - I am guessing because there’s more description phrases and less straightforward action=response. (For example - xiao guo sees Lao Wu, they respond, so its easy to follow, or he sees Wang Zheng and faints, or he walks into the courtyard and reads the address - all of these moments directly focus on things and react which is easier to follow).

For the first time I can say I can listen to just the audiobook and follow it enough to enjoy the plot and what’s mainly going on without any text aid. And I’ve only done the listening reading method for 8 chapters! That’s 40-50 minutes a chapter, around 360 minutes or 6 hours. 6 hours spent Listening Reading Method Guardian, and I already see a huge boost in what I can comprehend in listening! (I also did some random L R method chapters of other stuff so add 1-2 hours - that’s still like 8 hours total... that ain’t much).

Last time I listened to guardian audiobook without any text aid (a few months ago), I could hear some words I knew and some phrases, and had a vague understanding of when he got to the job (heard courtyard and si ming hao), met Lao Wu (i heard him report for duty), when he talked to zhao yunlan and got generally welcomed, met Wang Zheng and thought ‘he has no feet’ and got scared. No fucking details. The vaguest impression of the main plot mainly because I’ve read the chapter before and knew the scenes coming. But that was still eons better than Before That - around 6 months ago i listened to chapter 1 like 5 times until i could hear some phrases instead of just isolated words.

This time, I could follow things because I could HEAR what was actually going on, not just because I heard some keywords. I could clearly hear the details about Guo Changcheng entering the courtyard, reading the address and special investigations name, go up to Lao Wu and report in and Lao Wu greet him warmly and excitedly mention how lucky it is he came today that their boss is there! And fawn over how cool the boss is, and all the specifics of the convo with Zhao Yunlan (and half of his appearance like how he’s handsome and heroic looking and had a hand in his pocket and seemed cold until he noticed them and smiled and acted warm and friendly). And all the scenes were like that - like with Wang Zheng I could hear all the details of Guo Changcheng freaking out, eventually noticing her head had been cut and it wasn’t a necklace it was like sewn on and how he passed out. It was soooo much better ToT. The amount of comprehension is sooooo much higher than the last time I tried to listen! It shocks me how much better! This is enough comprehension to actually listen and just enjoy it. ToT

So yeah, I’d say Listening Reading Method, as I’m doing it right now, is making noticeable improvements in my reading skill and listening skill.

So yeah I’m super curious how listening comprehension is gonna be 20 chapters into Listening Reading Method.

What I do think this would be good for, if you were studying short term? If you wanted to understand a specific audiobook - doing L R Method with the book until you can listen to the rest. It would probably take a short enough amount of study to do within a month if you already have some skills in the language (since this is with 6-8 hours of study). I saw someone once do SRS Flashcard study based on a show they liked in a foreign language, and within a month they could watch that show they liked without english subs and follow the main plot. I think L R Method with a novel works kind of similar - its intensive study on one story. So within a reasonably short amount of time (10-50 hours maybe, something that can be done within a month) you can get enough comprehension skill of that One story to understand it ok.

I imagine you need to do L R Method longer, and with either a word dense material (lots of varied vocab) or else multiple stories (ideally different authors and genres), in order to get broader listening skill improvement. Like right now my listening skill in general seems to have improved somewhat... but its more like ‘listening to a show without subs’ is now easier. Not like I can turn on a brand new audiobook and follow it this well. So some slightly easier listening activity is now easier, but for other audiobooks I am probably comprehending more but the listening skill improvement is NOT as drastic as it is specifically with Guardian.

Testing listening comprehension with materials I have not L R Method with:

Alice in Wonderland (story is shorter/simpler than novel): I can follow it mostly when listening only. I can follow it near entirely (know exactly what’s going on just a few words I don’t recognize) if I’m looking at the video (since it has pictures for context - like watching a show). My listening comprehension drops noticeably if I do NOT look at the video visuals for an aid - since I am used to Alice in Wonderland hitting the original novel beats, not this shorter movie-based version. This level of comprehension makes sense, as its written simpler than Guardian so I should have an easier time following details in this. But lack of context means I have to put more effort into figuring out what scene is what if I don’t have any visual cues. So easier ‘written’ audiobook material is much more comprehensible now (easier than Guardian even since I know most words), but I still need context like an image or prior awareness of the overall plot or else I need to pay more careful attention to follow everything: https://youtu.be/HqCg5y8Nwhg

Sherlock Holmes 血字的研究: Some benefit just like Alice in Wonderland in that I have broad context (I know Watson and Sherlock live and work together to solve issues, Watson is a verteran and doctor). First 5 minutes I can vaguely tell its probably Watson narrating, that he lives in London, that before he might have been injured (I heard bing like sick or?) - I’m truly not sure what happened, and now after 5 minutes I heard ‘great friend’ and ‘touched shoulder’ and ‘gaoxing’ so happy. So I’m guessing Sherlock and Watson are interacting now. What improvement in my listening comprehension I can Notice - is that words stick out, phrases, and sentence structures (like finally, since, therefore, actions). So I feel if I paused I might be able to look up some words I notice but can’t understand, to follow along better. As the 2 of them have their conversation I can catch SOME details and I could probably follow what’s going on IF I had some prior context (like what the general case is about). But I only hear - its a pity, what happened last night, poor lad, fangzi, destination. So i’m not sure if someone died or was hurt or what happened the other night?? But again, conversations seem to be the easiest part to follow. For this particular audiobook I almost feel like if I just kept consistently listening or re-listening, I could understand more... like I probably know more words than I’m catching, but since my brain’s working on trying to catch the main gist plot right now its not grasping any details I might otherwise be able to notice. No prior context of plot, no image - hard lol. Unlike guardian, I cannot follow most of it. But I can catch bits of each scene, most clear are the dialogue parts (but cause I have no surrounding contexts I’m still pretty lost). Also the clear action parts are easier to follow (he spoke, moved, reacted to something). Mostly the lack of context is what’s making me struggle. In the descriptions I hear a lot phrases and words I recognize, but I’m struggling to comprehend them together. Unfortunately context is mostly in the description parts I can’t figure out lol. https://youtu.be/J1sbP6_3680

I suspect an audio DRAMA might be a little easier now. Since they’re mostly dialogue, and dialogue seems to be what I’m finding the most improvement in (from very vague to some of the clearest comprehended parts). I listened to tian ya ke audiodrama a few days ago and it was doable to follow along with - but that was before more Listening Reading Method, and of course my prior context (having seen the show/read part of the novel) means it was muchhhh easier to follow cause I had enough context to guess which scene each moment was supposed to be - so I didn’t have to figure out overall context, just details.

#rant #may #may progress #listening reading method #l r method #i'm also hella curious if just listening to guardian audiobook would produce any benefit - perhaps consolidate my skills and help make #future audiobooks easier?#anyway basically my summary is: how i have BEEN doing L R method this month is hugely effective for me rn #and note to future self: SPECIFICALLY doing it THIS way - with pleco or a parallel text for step 3. and doing STEP 2 (which is helping with #reading).#i am mostly surprised by how Little time investment this has taken. i've done maybe 1-3 hours a day. i remember on the l r method original #article site - the person said 30 hours for a closely related language. and like 50-100 hours for a less transparent language #and like. i have only done maybe 8 hours max this month. and maybe 15 hours MAX the entire time i've tried l r method this past year #so i'm not even at 30 hours - which is when i should start understanding 'some'. im wondering if the improvement is faster since #im not an actual beginner in chinese. i have some base skill #which - since im only trying l r method in languages ive already studied i have some base skill any time i try this #anyway 6-8 hours so far is NOT a very big time cost to get the reading/listening improvements im seeing #like? i talked about listening in this update because thats what l r method is SUPPOSED to improve

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littledemondani · 5 years

Text

study break | duncan shepherd x fem!reader

warnings: professor!Duncan, vaginal fingering, finger sucking, soft!duncan, mentions of masturbation (male), smut: vaginal sex, lovemaking, fluff at the end.

word count: 1.7K

request: “anonymous said: Ummm maybe Professor Duncan? Established relationship with y/n. She’s failing another class and he tries to help her study but also he’s NOT BEING HELPFUL. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. also ilu Fluff maybe. No angst. I’d rather just die. Plz. Smut plz if that wasn’t obvious uwu.”

summary: Duncan helps you “unwind” after not being able to concentrate on your studies.

a/n: This ended up slightly different, but, I hope you enjoy it! x

(gif: @zach-villas)

“Duncan..” you breathe, eyes fluttering as Duncan kissed the sweet spot on your neck while you sat in front of your laptop. “I need to focus on studying for that exam I have on Friday. You know I need to pass it in order to bring my grade up.”

“Oh I know, darling. Which is why I’m going to help you.”

His idea of helping, however, is completely different than what you had in mind. He had you both sitting on Duncan's massive bed, stripped completely of your clothing, your back pressed flush against his chest, legs spread wide with his fingertips brushing against the skin of your inner thigh.

“You’re too tense, baby. It’s always better to study with a clear mind and I’m going to help you relax,” he says as he moves your hair over to one side.

“Thank you...Dr. Shepherd,” you say with a smirk, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth.

(Duncan Shepherd is not only your boyfriend but also your English Literature professor. On the first day of class of your sophomore year, you walked into English Lit, totally taken aback by the handsome man who stood at the front of the class. He stood tall, wearing a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and black trousers, his brown waves with gray sprinkled here and there styled to perfection. The sight of him took your breath away.)

You spent the first few weeks trying to focus on his lectures, but each day that you sat and listened to him speak, the more your desire for him grew. On top of being really fucking attractive, he was also intelligent and extremely passionate about English Lit just like you were.

After class one afternoon, you made your way to his desk and struck up a conversation about the latest novel he assigned the class to read, having read it more times than you can count. The two of you talked for almost an hour before he checked the time and had to head off to his next class.

Since that day, Duncan fought to keep the attraction he had towards you at bay. He knew it was frowned upon for a professor to be romantically linked to a student, but the way you gazed at him, your thighs pressing together to dull the ache between your legs, the tone of voice you’d use with him, a mix of flirtatious innocence and seduction, how you’d always linger behind when class ended just to have a few moments alone with him — drove him fucking wild.

He needed you, fantasized about what it would be like to fuck you, to feel the warmth of your cunt around him, to have you a whimpering, desperate mess. One day, he left in a hurry and went straight to his office after class and stroked his cock to the thought of you, the outfit you had chosen to wear that day (a short, red pleated skirt and white button-up, only buttoned just below your breasts) made it hard for him to focus on giving his lecture. He imagined your mouth around his cock, your eyes glassy and mascara running down your cheeks.

You went to his office to check if everything was alright, eyebrows furrowed in curiosity as you heard groans and grunts coming from inside the room. You were about to leave when you heard him moan your name, all reservations flying out of your head.

With a turn of the knob, you entered, surprised that the door wasn’t locked. Duncan’s eyes flew open but he didn’t stop, only smirked when he saw the lust-filled look in your y/e/c eyes. You stood in front of him, your gaze locked onto his as you removed his hand from his cock and replaced it with your own.

“I can take care of that for you, Dr. Shepherd.”)

“Such a good girl,” Duncan says against your skin, his hot breath creating goosebumps along your shoulder. “Now, relax, my dear, and let me take care of you.” He pulls you even closer to his chest, bringing his free hand to massage your breast. He rolls your nipple between his fingers as he peppers open-mouthed kisses along your shoulder to your neck.

His other hand spreads your legs even wider, using his legs to hold them apart. He runs a finger through your dripping cunt, groaning into your ear. “You’re always so wet for me,” he says as he kisses the side of your face, holding his finger up for you to see. “All of this, just for me.” You sigh as your gaze falls onto his finger that’s coated in your arousal, taking his wrist in your hand and bringing his finger to your mouth. You lick his finger teasingly before sucking the rest of your arousal off, softly moaning at the taste of yourself. You pull off and turn your head to kiss him as you guide his hand back down to your pussy.

You place your hand on top of his, moving his fingers to rub on your aching clit. He chuckles against your lips, circling your clit for a moment, before dipping two fingers into your entrance. He moves back up your pussy and massages your clit, his touch soft and featherlight. “Duncan..” you whimper, “I need more.” He circles your clit a few more times before sticking his fingers back into you, pumping them in and out slowly, your body instantly melting into his touch. “That’s it, baby. Unwind, focus on how good this feels. How good I’m making you feel.”

You moan softly, lightly bucking your hips against Duncan's hand. He pumps his fingers at a slow pace a few more times before picking up speed, the sounds of your moans and the wet squelching of your cunt filling up the room. Duncan wraps his arm around you to thumb at your clit, the pleasure adding to your impending orgasm that’s bubbling in your belly. He can sense how close you are in the way your moans get higher and louder, how your legs tremble with each pump of his fingers and swipe against your clit, how your grip on his legs tightens, nails digging into his skin. He pulls his fingers from your cunt and turns your face towards him, kissing you feverishly.

You whine as he removes his fingers, returning the kiss with just as much need and want. “I want you to ride me, baby. Wanna feel that pretty pussy of yours cum around my cock,” he says between kissing you. You nod your head as you turn your body to face his and straddle his lap, reaching down between you to wrap your hand around his hard, leaking cock. Duncan ruts into your hand absentmindedly, groaning against your lips.

You brush your thumb against his slit, smearing the precum that’s gathered there across the head. He wraps his hand around yours and guides it down his length several times, his moans catching in your mouth. He lifts up your hips, dragging his cock along your wet folds before sinking into you, thrusting slowly until he bottoms out. He gives you a moment to adjust to him, running his hands up and down your sides soothingly. Your walls fluttered around him as they stretched to accommodate his size, the stretch causing a delicious burn that makes your head spin.

He thrusts up into you at a slow, steady pace, his forehead pressed against yours. Your wrap your legs around his waist and rock your hips against him, your soft moans and pants mixing with his. Sex with Duncan was unlike anything you had ever experienced before. It was passionate, sensual, and slow, but it could also be rough, filthy, and lustful.

Duncan splayed his large hand on the small of your back, his other arm resting on your upper back with his hand on your shoulder as he guided your hips against him. He watched you in awe, piercing blue eyes taking in how your chest heaved up and down, your body covered in a light sheen of sweat, how your face was twisted in pleasure, how your hair cascaded around your shoulders, how you dug your nails into his shoulders each time his cock brushed against that sensitive spot inside of you and his heart fluttered wildly in his chest.

“You’re so gorgeous, baby. Does it feel good?” He asks, voice strained and raspy.

“Yes, it feels so fucking good.” You open your eyes and meet his gaze, staring into his eyes intently. “Fuck, you’re so deep inside of me, Duncan.”

“Mm, right where I belong, baby.” He pulls you closer to him and kisses you passionately as he continues thrusting into you. Your movements start to get sloppy as your orgasm nears, bringing your fingers to rub tight circles on your clit. “Go ahead, let go. Cum all over my cock.” You rock your hips a few more times before your orgasm washes over you, crying out Duncan's name as wave after wave of pleasure courses through your body.

Duncan groans as your cum soaks his cock, feeling your walls clenching around him and he cums hard, spilling his hot seed deep inside your pussy. You both rock against each other as you ride out your highs, completely stilling once it passes. He smiles at you, brushing some stray strands of hair away from your face. You return the smile, slightly leaning into his touch.

His eyes linger on you for a moment, the fluttering of his heart still present. He opens his mouth to say something, but decides against it, opting to press a delicate kiss to your temple.

“What is it, Dunc?” You ask as you run your fingers through his sweat-damp curls. “You know you can tell me anything.”

He contemplates if he should tell you or not, outweighing the pros and cons in his head. But the gentle expression you have on your face as you look at him makes any doubt he has fade away.

“I love you, Y/N.”

You smile widely, bringing your hand to caress the side of his face. “I love you too, Duncan.”

tagging: @fckinsupreme @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @wroteclassicaly @ms-mead @lovelylangdonx @hecohansen31 @xavierplympton @1-800-bitchcraft @lvngdvns @lathraios @langdonsdemon @venusxxlangdon @rocketgirl2410 @theinevitableprophecy @langdvn @leatherduncan @sammythankyou @jendancing02 @kiwi-0497 @abominableholly @ayajackson @peachesandmon @ohlookheather @shadyrindt @sarcastichols @jassiepoohbear @dachi-chan25 @coezals @anqtherrichgirl @jetblackpayne @arkhamren @psychobitchtess @1950schick @multi-marvel @fandoms-allovertheplace @filthydesire @daydreamingofcody @sychos @myluciferiscody @misfitgirlwrites @langdondelrey @angel-langdon @trichy-knitts @not-a-chain-of-daisies @lambofcairo @coezals @maso-xchrist

#professor!duncan #duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd smut #duncan shepherd imagine

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tonitheloftwing · 3 years

Text

UnShelled: The Freak The Mighty And Unwind Crossover No One Asked For

The image had stayed in Max’s head for ages. The image of Kevin, spraying chili powder into his father and captor’s eyes, sending him back to jail where he belonged. If this new law passed, there could be the possibility that his father could be unwound and shelled. Killer Kane, Killer Kane, a parts pirate soon to have no brain. He hadn’t known what shelling was originally, when he’d first heard of it on the news, so he’d asked Grim.

“Shelling’s a horrible thing. They unwind you and then throw out the brain. You’re not alive in a divided state if they shell you, I sure think,” Grim declared.

“Of course you’re not alive without a brain,” Max said. “No different than being a zombie then.” Even though Max was pretty sure he had no brain- he was a massive butthead. He wondered- would he want shelling to be his father’s fate, or was it too cruel? Better than the death penalty. At least his stupid body would be helping somebody.

“I heard the only type that shell is that foreign unwinding place,” Gram said with a shake of her hand. “What do they call it… The Zah Dey?”

“It’s the Dah Zey,” Grim corrected. “Something for flesh market.”

“Kevin said it’s Burmese,” Max interrupted. Kevin had… a very strong stance on unwinding.

“How unchivalrous! It’s a horrible practice, and should never be performed on anyone nor supported,” he claimed. “I know they can’t unwind me because I’m ‘unclean’. Well, I’ll show them unclean! I’ll protest against unwinding until this nonsense stops!”

Max had always admired his friend’s courage and way to speak his mind. He admired that he even had a mind, something Max always felt that he had lacked. Freak was his mind; together, they were Freak The Mighty, nine feet tall and with the biggest brain you’d ever seen. Even separate, they were a menace. Freak had led to the arrest of a notorious parts pirate, and Max had passed the eighth grade! They were unstoppable!

Max thought about unwinding a lot. No doubt if he’d been adopted out instead of taken in by Grim and Gram he’d be a pile of organs by now- a big pile of organs. He was probably worth a lot on the black market, an extremely tall, boeuf 13 year old, the prime age for unwinding. Maybe his dad would have raised him a tithe if he “found the light” earlier. Max chuckled at that. The thought of him, a tithe! He’d probably be the biggest tithe of all time. Maybe they could put him in Ginny’s World Record book or whatever it was called.

Max also thought about parts pirateering. When your father was someone who was so cruel to send his own wife off to be unwound by the Burmese Dah Zey, you had to. Iggy and Loretta were still tied up in that business, and Max vowed to stay away from them for that very reason. Even if Loretta had saved his life once. Maybe she was just eyeing up his parts. She always acted like she was, anyways.

One day, Kevin declared that he had a quest. “We must go to where I am to receive my robot body! To the Medical Research Center, noble steed!”

And so Freak hopped up on Max’s shoulders and they became Freak The Mighty once again as Max galloped off into the sunrise with the smaller boy on his back. This was Max’s favorite thing in the world; the wind blowing through his hair, Kevin on his shoulders, off on a wild quest to who knows where. He loved Kevin, Freak, whoever the hell he was, he knew he did. He wasn’t sure what that love meant or what kind of love it was, but it was there. His butthead was too stupid to figure out what it was. The only way would be to ask Freak, and then he’d know that Max was a butthead too stupid to understand love, and then where would they be? But Kevin never treated Max like a butthead. He seemed to be the one person in his life who understood that even if he was one, there was no need to treat him like one. Teach the big goon to read and write, eek eek. Then call him a noble steed.

“The castle looks just fabulously ravishing today, doesn’t it?” Freak said from atop his steed.

“Ravishing? Hungry?”

“No, that’s famished. Ravishing means beautiful, alluring, bewitching…”

“So all the things your mom is?” Kevin smacked Max with one of his crutches. “The noble steed will not make comments about his rider’s mother.” Max untied one of Kevin’s shoes playfully, a game they always played together. Kevin always pretended it ticked him off, but Max knew it didn’t. Then when he got off of him, Max would tie his shoe back up. Kevin was originally surprised he could even tie a shoe.

“So, when are you getting your robot body?” Max asked curiously.

“Why do you ask?”

“I’m really nervous for you,” Max admitted. “I mean, you’re getting a bionic body. That’s pretty freaky.”

Kevin sighed. “Max, it’s time you know. There is no robot body. It’s just as fictional as Arthurian legend. I came up with it to help myself cope with the inevitable, the inevitable being my soon but sure demise. It’s called manifestation. If I lie to myself enough, it becomes true to me.”

Max didn’t understand most of what Freak had said, but seeing the tears in his eyes told him most of what he needed to know. “You’re… going to die?” Kevin nodded. “My organs are just getting too big for my body, and since I refuse unwound organs, I’m not going to last long.”

“Why don’t you just take them?” Max asked, trying to plead with him. “The kids got unwound anyways.”

“Do you know how hard it’d be to find organs small enough for my body?” Kevin asked. “They’d need to unwind a three year old. And they’d have to make it so the organs couldn’t grow either,” he explained. “It’d be far too complicated. And possibly illegal.”

“But you can’t die!” Max exclaimed. “Without you, I’m just… The Mighty. I need my Freak.”

“That which comes cannot be avoided,” Kevin said seriously.

But Max would find a way to stop it. He knew he could.

First, he needed money. Lots of it. But where does one get lots of money? He swore to never be a criminal, but that might be the only way. Kevin would have called what he was doing a quest of the unnoble variety, but he needed the money. Enough money to bribe someone who probably had all the money in the world.

So, he ransacked all the abandoned houses in town he could find. Eventually he’d stolen one, two thousand dollars? He’d been able to find a diamond necklace he’d been able to pawn off, and he had his cash. Now, time to go to the people he’d needed.

“Loretta? Loretta, you in there?” Max asked, banging on the door. Eventually, the woman with the fake eyelashes and droopy lips greeted Max tiredly.

“What do you want, kid?” She asked. “No, I’m not lending you money.”

“Oh, I’m not asking for money,” he said with a smirk. “Quite the opposite. You’re going to become very rich.”

“So, let me get this straight…” Loretta thought, long and hard. “You’re going to pay us to take you to the Dah Zey?”

“Well, not quite. The money is to bribe the higher ups into letting me do what I want. But yes, I’m submitting myself to you as an AWOL. No one has to know, and the Dah Zey will still pay you.”

“Well, your plan’s crazy, but you got a deal, kid,”

Soon enough, he was on a plane to Burma, going to be unwound… maybe. He could admit he was scared out of his shorts, but this was something he needed to do, or else innocent lives would be over. He must do this.

Loretta and Iggy wouldn’t be making this journey with him, as they claimed that they were too small in the parts pirateering business to meet the owners of the harvest camps themselves. According to them, they didn’t even know what happened at the harvest camps, at least no more than anyone else knew. It had recently come out that the Dah Zey experimented on children, when the doctor had publicly made an appearance with his chimpanzee-footed assistant. Max had bigger dreams than being put on postcards, but he had a similar goal to Mr. Chimpanzee. To become an experiment of the doctor’s.

When Max arrived at the Dah Zey, they threw him in a cell, by himself. “Volunteers get special permission. You don’t go with others.”

Max wasn’t bothered by the man’s poor English; he was just anxious to meet the doctor. Only then did he realize how miserable the existence of the prisoners at Dah Zey were.

Despite being a volunteer, Max was given very little food or water, and only a bucket to eliminate himself in. For entertainment, he was given a crappy old TV with only movies buttheads would ever want to watch, and especially enjoy. But he put them on anyways, because he was a butthead. I mean, what kind of butthead would turn themselves into parts pirates for a friend?

Apparently an impressive butthead, as later Max received a private audience with the doctor.

“My name is Doctor Rodín,” he said, sitting down. “And you purposefully… volunteered yourself for experimentation?”

“Yes, although you’re only allowed to experiment on me if you do exactly what I want and as I say.”

The doctor snorted. “And why should I?”

“Because.” Max took out wads and wads of cash from his pockets. “I’ll make you very rich indeed.”

“Boy, I see more than that in a day,” he said, and Max couldn’t tell if he was bluffing or not. “But I love to meet someone with my same interest in human experimentation. So, pitch your idea to me.”

“Imagine,” Max started. “A nine foot tall giant, with a brain just as big to match. He’s super smart, like, super duper smart. He could probably invent world peace or something. Or something that’d make somebody rich.”

“I’ve already done experiments for giants,” he scoffed. “They went poorly, though. The person survived, but they’re completely bedridden. I’ll have to come up with another way than stacking spinal columns.”

“Sir, I’m already 7 feet tall, and I’m only 14. Imagine how much taller I’ll be when I’m older. Or you could give me, let’s say, a two foot spinal column addition.”

The doctor looked intrigued. “So, what exactly are you proposing?”

“I have a friend who’s a supergenius, but he’s going to die soon, his organs grow but his body doesn’t. So, why don’t you shell him…” “And then shell you…”

“And then put Kevin’s brain inside my body. Oh, yeah, Kevin’s the supergenius. And, we’ll be normal enough that we can pass as a normal person, someone who could maybe publicize your experiments as not cruel, but rather innovating.” Saying all these things made Max sick, but it had to be done to save Kevin’s life.

“I see. And what shall we call you?”

“Freak the Mighty.”

“I like that.”

Kevin woke up one day, no memory of what had happened to him or where he was.

That was when he noticed how big he felt. His hands felt heavier, his feet reached further down in the bed than they ever had before, and when he sat up, he felt two tons of extra weight. Well, not two tons, but that was what hyperboles were for.

He wasn’t himself. This wasn’t his body. He was Max.

He noticed a doctor looking down on him curiously. “Hello, Freak The Mighty.”

#freak the mighty #unwind #unsouled #unwholly #undivided #unbound #max the mighty #max freak the mighty #kevin freak the mighty #dr rodin unwind #tw death #tw organ harvesting

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loverspersonas · 4 years

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the most beautiful moment in life | i

pairing: ot7? x reader

genre: hyyh au, high school au, angst, drama, fluff, smut?

length: 3.4k

summary: Eight strangers with different stories happen to meet one day, by fate or some kind of cruel, exquisite happenstance, and realize that they’re not as different as they thought.

↳series masterlist

To say that you hated high school wouldn’t be precisely correct. In fact, at some point, you remembered loving it. Sky Academy was the best place to receive education in the whole country, whether you were interested in academics, sports or the arts. But like most top schools with such reputations, it was difficult to get in. You either had to be incredibly talented, intelligent, or filthy rich. You could safely say that you hadn’t ever stumbled upon someone who was all three.

But of course, nothing good lasted.

Less than a year ago, you’d lost your friends, your perks, your stellar grades, and your reputation. High school was a vicious social ladder. You could climb higher and higher everyday and before you even knew it, you’re falling. And it was a long way down.

“I’m going to the park after school today with the others. You want to come?”

Sana was a girl you’d met in your English class years ago. She normally kept her hair cut above her chin, right now dyed bubblegum pink. She was something like a firecracker, her mood and decisions constantly changing which she expressed through her hair and clothes. One time in the last year, you’d told her about your mother’s new boyfriend at the time— the fourth one in a period of three months— when she’d suggested for you to try what she did at times of stress or too many emotions; the following day was the first time you’d come to school with chocolate brown hair. You’d never been so close with Sana before, but you were thankful you’d always remained on friendly terms, because now, she was the only friend you had left.

“The others?” you asked, grabbing some books from your locker to stuff in your backpack. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Sana’s friends, it was just that they were so different from the crowd you used to run with. While you were comfortable with the girl, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel out of place amongst all of them. “I don’t know…”

“Come on,” Sana urged. “It’s not like you’re going to start studying right after class, are you? It’s only the first month of school.”

“Yeah, but—“

“But you’re smarter than you think,” she said firmly. “And you don’t need to kiss up to teachers anymore for grades.”

You looked at her with an unsure expression, ultimately sighing. “Fine. I’ll be there.” You closed your locker door. “I have to go right now.”

“Go where? What do you have to do?”

You paused to look back her way. “Kiss up to a teacher.”

Sana groaned. “I was just joking!”

You grinned, continuing in the direction of the main office. At this time in the morning, it was pretty quiet. The receptionist gave you a friendly smile that you tried to return. It wasn’t that you came there often. You stayed away from the principal’s office; there was no need for any more attention on you. You supposed your face had become familiar there from all the times you’d come to see Mrs Oh, the academy’s guidance counsellor.

While you were sitting in the waiting chairs— or rather, sofas since this was, after all, Sky Academy— two people came out from the principal’s office, one being the headmaster himself, and the other, a tall boy with broad shoulders in a crisp, new uniform. The headmaster said a few words to him, a smile then a pat on the shoulder before returning to his office.

The boy stood there for a minute, uncomfortable or uncertain as he vaguely looked around him. He exchanged a polite smile with the receptionist at some point. Finally, you sighed inwardly, deciding that you might as well save him. “Hey,” you called. “New kid, right?”

The boy seemed a little startled, not having noticed you sitting there, although your current platinum blonde hair was a little hard to miss. “Um, yes. I’m Kim Seokjin.”

You stood up from your seat. “Yeah, I didn’t ask. All right, follow me.”

He raised his eyebrows as you waited by the door for him. “Follow you?”

“That is what I said,” you spoke slowly so that he could understand. “I’m your exclusive welcoming tour guide to the academy.”

“I wasn’t aware I was getting a tour guide.”

You waved a hand. “Please save your comments and questions for the end of the tour.”

“All right,” he allowed. If he was annoyed, he didn’t show it. "Can I at least know who my guide is? I don’t know how I feel about following someone I don’t know anything about. For all I know, you could be leading me somewhere quiet and secluded to murder me.”

You bit your lip, looking at him with a nod. “You make a valid point. I’m Y/L/N Y/F/N. Just call me Y/F/N, if you must. Anyway, so you know the front office where we just were.”

“Yes, I spoke with the headmaster and the lady at the front desk.”

You were less interested in actually listening to his answers. Making conversation was just a formality, not something you actually wanted to do. It was funny how much of a social butterfly you used to be. Lately it made you wonder if socializing was something you did only to adapt to your environment, rather than an activity you actually enjoyed. “Okay, so this is the foyer where people like to just hang around mostly. If there’s any event or advertising to be done, that usually happens here too.”

“What about extracurriculars?” Seokjin asked as you stopped by the doors to the gym.

“Let me guess,” you said, turning around to face him. “You’re a basketball guy.”

His voice held dry amusement. “Was it the height?”

You shrugged. “Possibly. Yeah, there’s a bunch of sports. Basketball, football, swimming. There are also a lot of arts programs. We have a theatre too, but I only ever go there when I’m being forced to attend an assembly.”

“You’re not very interested in school, are you?” he deduced.

“If by that you mean, this school, then you’re absolutely right.” You paused. “I’m so over this place. But…” You stopped walking, blocking his way as you faced him. He came to a sudden stop, slightly startled. Folding your arms over your chest, you narrowed your eyes. “I’ll have you know I’m getting extra credit for an assignment right now for agreeing to give this tour. That’s right, your presumptions about me were incorrect.”

He looked down for a moment, ears going slightly pink. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to make… presumptions.”

You could’ve told him that it was okay and that an apology and his embarrassment wasn’t necessary. But you decided not to. “You’ll find that the people here live off of making assumptions about others. Which brings me to the next section of this guide. The kind of people you’re better off avoiding.”

With his long legs, it was easy for him to keep up with your pace while still paying attention. “You sound like you really know this place well.”

“I’ve been here for over three years now. But it wasn’t until last year when I realized what this place actually was.” You paused for dramatic effect. “Hell.”

Walking past the two of you were a bunch of younger girls, not very covertly casting glances at the boy beside you and giggling to themselves. You mentally groaned. If there was one thing you hated, it was the sound of delusional giggles. Sure, you’d admit that maybe Seokjin could fall into the tall, handsome category, but you’d sooner die than become a lovesick teenager. But thankfully, Seokjin didn’t notice. Hopefully, he was oblivious so that something like this wouldn’t get to his head.

Abruptly, you came to a stop. “So, you have the stereotypical popular kids. The football team and the cheerleaders.”

He followed your gaze to see the group of people wearing royal blue and sunny yellow colours, colours of the academy and also of popularity. “I thought pretty much all jocks fell into that stereotype.”

“No, some of the other sports teams are actually nice and bearable,” you informed him, gaze shifting again across from you. There was a pretty girl with long black hair and yellow and blue ribbons in her hair standing beside a handsome boy with brown hair and an all too familiar letterman jacket. You tried to ignore that tug in your chest. “But not football. If you want a smooth, drama-free year, you’ll do best without them in it.”

Seokjin spoke after a while and you wondered if it was because he’d noticed something you’d given away. “Noted.”

Just then, the teenagers began walking. Out of instinct, you turned your head in the other direction, relief filling you as they passed by without noticing you. Seokjin shot you a puzzled look which you dismissed by asking for his schedule. As the new kid, he was going to hear things that he’d have a lot of questions about, but you weren’t obligated to answer any of them. Especially not if they were related to you.

“Here we are, locker 334.” As he started turning the lock, you quickly glanced at his schedule. “You’re taking business?”

“My family does a lot of business,” he answered. “I thought it would be a good choice.”

You couldn’t help but notice the stiffness in his voice. Either he didn’t actually like business, or family was a touchy topic. But despite your curiosity, you wouldn’t pry.

“Interesting,” you murmured, attention returning to the paper in your hand. “Oh, I’m taking advanced calculus too.”

“Maybe we can sit together,” he suggested.

You raised a brow. “Why do you assume I’ll just sit next to you?”

“Oh, I didn’t—“

“I’m just kidding,” you cut him off, this time a little amused by how quickly his ears turned red. “Your first class is down this hall, to the right. If you get lost, you can ask someone.”

“As long as they’re not wearing a football jersey or a cheerleading outfit.”

You looked at him again, head tilting to the side slightly, maybe just a little pleased. “Good, you’re catching on. You just might survive, Seokjin. Anyway, I have class in five minutes and so do you.”

“Right.” He hesitated, fingers playing with the strap of his backpack. Maybe he wasn’t actually that great with people, or maybe he wasn’t used to getting help from others. “Thank you for doing this.”

Something inside you softened a little, but you shook it away instantly. Being softhearted, you’d learned, didn’t get you anywhere. “There’s no need to thank me. I’m just in it for the credits.”

He looked at you, a grin forming on his lips. “I don’t know if I completely believe that. You didn’t just show me around, you genuinely gave me advice.”

“It was part of the tour package,” you said, shrugging nonchalantly. “And I’d hate to see you get eaten alive on your first day. That usually doesn’t happen until after the first week.”

“Wow, thank god you do these guides then,” he said sarcastically before his expression turned more solemn, uncertain, maybe even a little hopeful. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

You gave him a half smile and a shrug before turning to start down the hallway.

Lunch period was probably one of your least favourite times of the day. It shouldn’t have been since it was an hour break from classes. But it was a time where half of the students at Sky gathered in the cafeteria; the other half would have their lunch at a different time. Basically, it was a time where you had to be forced into the same room as your former friends, who you’d rather never see again. The only thing that could get you through it was having Sana by your side.

“Have you seen the new kid?” she was saying, maybe to you or maybe to the boy beside her also at your table. His name was Li-on, a mutual friend of yours and Sana’s from her friend group.

Li-on was busy stuffing meat from his tray into his mouth with his chopsticks but managed an incredulous expression. “Don’t tell me you’re listening to the rumours going around the academy.”

Sana scowled, whacking his shoulder. “I am not. I know how twisted rumours can get at this place.”

You noticed her look at you from the corner of your eye, but pretended not to. Instead your attention remained on your bowl of soup. “Why, what interesting things have you heard?”

“Well, a few things,” she admitted. “But that’s not important. Don’t you think it’s interesting how he just showed up, after the year has already started?”

“Why, is he not allowed to want to receive an education?” you asked dryly.

She shot you a look. “That’s not what I meant. You guys know how Sky is, how the headmaster is. They’re so stingy when it comes to accepting new students, especially after the year has already begun.”

Li-on finished chewing his food and gave her a thoughtful glance. “That is true...”

Sana nodded, appreciative of the acknowledgment. “What I’m saying is there must be something special about him.”

A short chuckle left you. “Yeah, he’s loaded.”

“Something more than that.”

You didn’t want to think too much about it, but realized that Sana had a point. The academy had criteria for accepting students, and were very strict about new students any time throughout the year. It just didn’t fit their reputation. How did Seokjin end up here?

Breaking your train of thought was a set of eyes you felt on you from across the room. You already had a hunch of who it was and tried your best to ignore it, but found yourself giving in. The boy signalled to the doors with a nod of his head.

You wanted to shake your head. But then you sighed and a minute later got up from your seat, only for a hand to stop you. By her expression, Sana had noticed that small exchange of glances. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Going to the bathroom,” you lied despite knowing there was no use.

Sana pulled your arm as you tried to leave. Li-on must’ve sensed the sudden tension as he looked between the two of you, but he didn’t say anything. “Are you really going to talk to him?”

“What am I supposed to do?” you said. “I can’t just keep avoiding him for the rest of my life.”

“Um, you can, actually. I do it all the time!”

“Sana.”

“Look,” the pink haired girl said seriously now, “the last time you two talked, it didn’t end well.“

“The difference is that I don’t have anything to lose this time where it concerns him.” Something about the truth in that startled you in a similar way it startled Sana.

She released her grip on you. “Fine. But if you’re not back in five minutes, I’m going after you.”

The concern in her voice had you sending her a small smile. Then you were making your way to the hallway outside, the rest of the cafeteria too loud and invested in their own world to notice the two people who walked out at around the same time.

“What do you want?” you said, not giving the chance for an uncomfortable silence or avoiding the subject.

Min-hyuk didn’t appear to be so taken aback by your bluntness. “How have you been, Y/N?” he asked almost quietly.

You wanted to laugh. “That’s what you wanted to talk about. How have I been? You’ve got to be fucking joking—“

“I know it sounds to hard to believe but—“

“Don’t say something stupid like you still care,” you said sharply.

He paused and you took a moment to study him. He looked nearly the same as you remember. Oak brown hair reaching his forehead, framing his angular facial features, something that had people stopping and giving him double takes— it had you doing the same once upon a time. But that was a different time.

“I’m sorry for the way things ended,” he spoke at last, and you wish he hadn’t. “If you won’t believe me for anything else, at least believe that.”

I want to, you thought with a desperation that had you hating yourself for feeling even for a second. You didn’t realize until now how much you would’ve liked to go back in time before things had become this way. But how could do so easily forget everything that had happened in between?

“I did believe you, Min-hyuk,” you said. “I trusted you. And you made me regret even that.”

“Wait—“ His hand shot out to stop you from walking past him. When you glanced down at it, he retracted it immediately. “I just... I don’t want things to be this way. We used to be so close—“

There was pang in your chest at the words. Of course, you remembered being that close. What hurt more was trying to forget it all. “If you’re looking for a shoulder to cry on, maybe you should ask your girlfriend.”

“What’s going on here?”

Perfect, you thought. Of course he has to show up.

Eun-ho was one of Min-hyuk’s closest friend, both part of the academy’s football team. You’d never liked him despite being in the same friend group. His arrogance and ability to make crude, insensitive remarks on things that didn’t concern him were unbearable; you wondered how Min-hyuk could tolerate it sometimes.

Eun-ho’s face broke out into a vexatious smile that you didn’t trust one bit. “Y/N…” If you hated anything more than his mere presence, it was the way he said your name. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

You gave him your own icy, sarcastic smile. “Not long enough, Eun-ho.”

He chuckled. “Wow, did you somehow get even more feisty?”

Min-hyuk made an annoyed sound, throwing off the arm he had around him. “Really, Eun-ho?”

“What? It’s true what they say then, isn’t it? It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for. I bet you were actually wild in bed.”

As he laughed at his own joke, Min-hyuk gave him a shove. While you felt anger and annoyance start to simmer under your skin, you weren’t surprised. Eun-ho was probably waiting to get to talk to you like this.

“You’re still as insecure as ever, aren’t you?” you spoke. “Talking shit about everyone because what else do you know? You know, the entire time I used to wonder how everyone managed to put up with your bullshit. I’m relieved I don’t have to anymore.”

His eyes narrowed, jaw clenching now that you were fighting back. Maybe before you put up with everything he used to say and do, internalizing the emotions you felt and the words you wanted to throw at him, but not anymore. You opened your mouth again, ready to keep going, ready to say everything you should’ve said a long time ago, when suddenly there was a hand on your shoulder.

“Come on, Y/N,” Sana said, throwing a brief glare at the two boys. But her focus was mainly on you. “This isn’t worth your time.”

You relaxed at her words, ready to leave when Eun-ho called your name again. “—that’s right, you were always too fucking scared to face the truth, blaming everyone but yourself. Why do you think Min-hyuk left you? Why your own mother doesn’t give a damn about you, why your brother’s not around. They all saw that you for what you were. A crazy little bitch—“

The next thing you knew, everything was red. Heat was crawling over your skin, so much that you felt like smoke would leave your ears at any second. Anger was rising inside you, anger you hadn’t felt in a long time, and you didn’t want to stop it anymore.

Beside you, Sana was saying something, tugging at your sleeve urgently but it was all faint, tuned out and staticky like shifting between radio signals. You pushed her aside as you moved forward.

Min-hyuk was glaring at his friend, but Eun-ho— he had the audacity to be grinning like a child who’d won a prize. It was like a rope snapping, and suddenly your fist swung at his jaw. The feeling of your knuckles connecting with bone was something you knew was going to leave your hand with a dull ache, but it was satisfying as hell.

“Miss Y/L/N.”

You turned around to see the headmaster standing before you, not looking impressed.

Well, shit.

chapter ii

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love-kazin · 4 years

Text

History Walls

Genre: just a friendly scenario with a very slightly friends-to-lovers.

Pairing: Kim Wonsik/Ravi x Reader (female).

Warnings: none.

Word count: 1.371.

REQUESTED.

There’s this literature project counting as the major grade and your friends couldn’t think about any person that wasn’t you to work with.

-x-

"What I'm saying is that doesn't matter what you're reading, because any kind of literature is a literature! Anything that makes you read is interesting because it can develop your creativity and vocabulary." Hanging out in a bookstore wasn't how you planned to spend your saturday. Not with the guys, actually, because you love a good bookstore, but being the one who got invited was a little different. Since you were a good student, with the higher grades in class and the most well developed assignments, you were the first thought of the guys. Not that they only wanted to work with you because of that. It's just easier to work with friends, and if they're smart, it's a plus. "Do you really think that?" Taekwoon was looking at you but his face was hard to describe. He could be genuinely curious about your opinion or preparing himself to end all your arguments. "Yes, I do. What do you think?" "I think a good literature is the better option to extend your intelectual atributes." "But what's a good literature?" "Oh, here we go again..." You could only chuckle at Hongbin's statement. Any topic could get kinda phylosifical in seconds when you were talking, which was a little boring but an amusement to them at the same time. Hearing you talk all your points of view was nice, not only because you helped them to get another vision about certain topics, but also because your excitement was interesting to watch. "A good literature is that one that makes me travel around the theme, like I'm floating in the author's ideas." "That's a good point, really. I think it's important to feel conected with the material you're reading, to take that to yourself. But as you said, a good literature is the one that makes you feel it. And this can be anything. It can be a thick book about a country's history, a cute and tragic romance, a fashion magazine or even the shampoo bottle. It can work differently for every person." "Even a shampoo bottle? How's that could work?" "Imagine that you're a chemical student, learning how to compose something. Don't you think the specified rotule would make you wonder how to work with that? Which combination is the better one? To whom that product can work well?" "Oh, that makes a lot of sense. So, that's how bedtime stories works for kids at night? I mean, it can stimulate their thoughts and affect their dreams?" You nodded. It was good they were catching your point. Hakyeon started to look at you proudly, his words dancing at his expression. He didn't needed to talk it out loud, but you knew that he was thinking you would be amazing as a teacher - which was the main point of your academical career. "Do you think it's problematic for an adult to like stories made for kids?" Jaehwan looked really curious, subtly. Which was kinda normal. You were used to his comportment that can change in seconds from playful to serious. "Of course not! I understand that some people may joke around and tell to this person to grow up, but they're doing it! Just like everybody. It's something to read, and as long as the person enjoy the topic, it's valid. Nobody should say otherwise." Humming in agreement, they started to work on the summary of the literature assignment. Actually, it was something to present, with slides, point of views and lots of topics related to the main point. That's the reason requiring a whole 7 members group. The teacher has given almost two months to prepare it, since it was a final project for the semester, so there was a lot of time to do it, and it wasn't that hard. But being an applied student, you always liked to do your assignments as soon as possible, and your friends knew it, even not being the same way. It would be kinda hard to everyone thinks exactly the same way, and that's why some discussions happened along the day. "I don't think it's healthy for a kid, for example, to read adult things." "That's why there's age recommendation, Taek." "But there are things that doesn't have it. Like those shampoo bottles you said earlier." "I don't think a kid would read that these days, but it's not forbidden. Maybe they can be a chemical engineer in the future, right? Is that bad?" Taekwoon just looked at you and returned to the book while thinking about it. Wonsik was the one who was strangely quiet that day. No one seemed to notice when he left the table to disappear between those big book walls. But that did bother you. If he wasn't feeling ok, you'd like to help. His face looked puzzled, almost lost in thoughts, and the way his eyebrows furrowed a little trying to read the book title on his hand was very cute. "Do you need some help, Wonsik?" He then looked at you, nodding. "I'm starting to think that this book isn't even in english." The thick and brown cover, with golden letters, and a thin dust layer, was actually in german. "It's not. But I can find a english version of it, if you want it. Or a korean." Wonsik smiled at you, showing off his perfect teeth, resembling a little like a cute bunny, but also big. While you showed him the way to the library part where would had be the book in his elected language, you grow up some curiosity. "May I ask you why do you wanna read this book? It's quite sad. Are you alright?" "I'm okay, yeah. I'm just curious, and trying to expand my known list of books. I wanna be smart." "You already are. But it's great to know more, also because you're getting to know another type of writing. If you feel too sad to finish, you can just call me and I'll resume to you." "Did you read it?" Nodding, you grabbed the book and gave it to Wonsik. "Can I call you if I have some doubt?" "Sure. I'll be glad to help." Then, the silence came. Being around Wonsik was nice, but along with the others. Alone, it was weird because he seemed uncomfortable in your presence. You didn't knew why; there wasn't any memorable thing that happened that may have hurted him or anything. So it was just weird. And turned your cheekies into a red color because of your shyness. But also his, which you didn't knew the reason. "Maybe... Can I just call you...?" "What do you mean? We're friends, right? You can call me." That was unexpected. But you weren't denying an approximation. Maybe things could get better. "No, I mean, like, not a friendly relationship." "Oh, so like... strangers?" "What? No, not like that too." You weren't following his idea. The question mark was almost tattooed in your forehead. "In a getting-to-know kind of relationship." He seemed nervous about the topic. "I thought we were already doing... Oh." Then something clicked in your head. And your cheekies burned even more. Specially because Sanghyuk appeared in the hallway looking for both of you. "Are you done with this weird dating thing? We're needing some help." Before you could explain the situation, he disappeared. Wonsik nodded and smiled weirdly at you and returned to the table. Was he developing some kind of crush on you? He was like the main crush of the entire class. It wouldn't be bad, but it didn't make sense at all, specially because he had never said anything. Maybe you'd have to figure it out. Returning to the table, you saw a thoughtful Wonsik and other five hardworking men. Sitting on your spot, you quickly wrote a simple "yes :)" on a post-it and passed to the man on your side, almost like a secret mission. You could sense him trying not to break into a wide grin, and you felt related. It's a little weird how things work, but it can be good. Turning your attention to the paperwork, the boys seemed a little lost, just how Sanghyuk has said. "What do you need me for?"

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfics #vixx #vixx scenarios #vixx fanfics #cha hakyeon #n #jung taekwoon #leo #lee jaehwan #ken #kim wonsik #ravi #lee hongbin #hongbin #han sanghyuk #hyuk

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fallinnflower · 5 years

Text

love lessons

lou x reader (fluff, college!au, tiny tiny bit of angst)

a/n: this was requested and got way out of hand. thanks to @dearbeommie for keeping me sane. uwu.

You’re not a bad student. On the contrary, you’ve always done very well in your classes — unless it comes to learning new languages.

You’ve tried it all. Journals, YouTube tutorials, hardcore studying. You just can’t seem to grasp a new language well enough to actually speak it to anyone, and that’s what’s starting to become an issue. Enough of an issue that you’re now sitting awkwardly across from your Korean professor in their office, with her regarding you with just enough pity to make you squirm. You don’t want her to pity you, you want her to like you and be impressed by you, because she’s one of your coolest professors on campus.

“So, Y/N,” she starts, and you attempt to straighten your posture as you look up to meet her gaze. “Have you ever considered a tutor?” Your throat suddenly feels dry. Tutoring? Tutors might be helpful, but that means money you can’t really afford to spend—

“We have a Korean student who’s studying here for the semester. I’m his advisor for that time, and he’s also working with me as an assistant as part of a work award with his university. I think he’d be a good resource for you.”

There’s a pause, and your professor leans back in her seat and chuckles,

“It’s free, since he works through the school. Would you like his email address?” You feel some of the tension leave your body, like helium from a week-old balloon.

“Yes, please,” you respond, smiling.

That evening, before you settle heavily into studying, you send an email to the address you’d been given with a little explanation and your usual schedule.

You have a response by the time your head hits the pillow: Saturday, 11am, in the library. You’re oddly nervous.

Two days later, on Saturday, you realize why you’re so nervous: first, you have no idea what this guy looks like; second, you’re about to embarrass yourself in front of someone your age. You glance around the library, looking for anyone sitting alone with a familiar textbook—

“Y/N L/N?” A deep voice says from behind you, sending a slight shiver down your spine. You turn, nose almost brushing against the chest of this person; hastily, you tilt your chin up and clear your throat.

“Kim Hosung?” The boy’s lip twitches into a smile for a moment, and you can’t help but find him both extremely attractive and horribly intimidating — lucky for you, the slight roundness of his cheeks and somewhat large ears help to soften his features, although you’re still extremely nervous when he opens his mouth to speak.

“Just call me Lou,” he replies, not unkindly, “Should we find a place to sit?” You nod curtly, following him to a booth. Despite the length of his stride, he seems to be conscientious of your own walking pace. You take a moment to catch your breath and take him in while he’s unable to see your face.

First and foremost, he’s tall — tall and slender, except for his broad shoulders, with a slightly long but round face. His ears, like you noticed before, are a little big but covered partly by his dark, fluffily styled hair, but now you also notice the small black studs in them.

To put it simply, he’s gorgeous and cute somehow, which is totally unfair. You suddenly wish you’d put more effort into your appearance. Lou chooses a booth in the back corner, and you take a seat across from him and immediately start digging all your materials out of your backpack.

“So, Y/N,” Lou says, and you hate how much you like the sound of your name in his voice. “What is it you need help with, exactly?” You sigh, resting your chin in your palm and looking at him pitifully.

“Everything,” you reply, and Lou chuckles and raises an eyebrow. “I can read Hangul pretty well, but I’m terrible when it comes to speaking or constructing more complex sentences. I just get choked up and forget everything.” You pick up and pen and fiddle with it, avoiding his gaze.

“That would explain why Professor Lee mentioned your comprehension being good,” he muses, and you nod.

“I just want to be able to communicate without looking like an idiot.” You glance up at him through your lashes and find him smiling at you, one side of his mouth lifted higher than the other.

“Well, Y/N,” he starts, and you look up. Lou is full-on smiling now, “You’ve come to the right person.” You return his smile, albeit more shyly, as he begins to take out his own study materials.

You have a feeling this might just work.

Lou is an incredible tutor.

Not only is his Korean understandably good, but his English is impeccable. You’ve been tempted on more than one occasion to ask about it, but after only a couple study sessions you aren’t sure you qualify as anything more than an acquaintance he smiles at in passing. It startles you how your curiosity keeps growing the longer you know him — every time you have a session, you clam up about anything but your class and assignments.

One day, after Professor Lee had handed back your first ‘A’ assignment in her class, you drop by the cafe before your study session and make the decision to order two iced americanos. You have no clue how Lou likes his coffee, so you stuff a couple sugar packets in your backpack and make your way to the library.

One advantage to Lou: he’s tall and extremely easy to spot in a crowd, even sitting down. There’s a smile growing on your face as you approach him, and with his earbuds in he noticed the coffee you slide into his line of sight before he notices you.

Lou smiles crookedly, an eyebrow raised, and you take a sip of your coffee.

“What?” You ask, feigning innocence. He chuckles.

“What’s this for?” You can feel yourself beaming.

“Just think of it as a token of my gratitude,” you reply, shrugging and fiddling with your straw. “I got an A on Lee’s assignment.”

“Ah,” he says, leaning back. He crosses his arms and seems almost smug, “So that’s why you’re in a good mood.”

“I’m always in a good mood!” You huff, although you know that’s most definitely not true — really, you just like being playful around Lou. It almost makes it feel like you’re friends, and you definitely wouldn’t be opposed to that. Or more.

“Sure,” he chuckles, and you roll your eyes. Lou starts to take out his materials, and you falter for a moment as you do the same. Maybe it’s because you’re in a good mood, or maybe you’re riding the high of this banger you two have, but you’re just itching to ask him—

“Hey, Lou,” you start. “Can I ask you something?” He glances up, looking confused, but nods at you.

“How'd you get so good at English?” You ask, and then, immediately, begin backpedaling. You cover your face with your hands. “Sorry, that sounds kind of offensive, doesn’t it? I just — your grammar might be even better than mine and I know English is a hard language— that doesn’t sound any better— just, just forget—“

You’re interrupted by Lou’s good-natured chuckling once again, and peek out from between your fingers to assess the situation.

“I’ll take the compliment,” he says. “My family and I lived in Atlanta when I was little, if that helps clear it up.”

“Oh,” is all you can manage to say, still embarrassed by your question and subsequent overreaction. Lou just smirks at you and takes a sip of his americano before getting down to business.

“So, looks like you’ll be working with chapter 5 this week...”

You let your eyes linger on him for a moment too long before flipping to the correct page in your book. You decide you’re going to make Lou your friend by the end of this semester.

Making Lou your friend is actually not as hard as you thought it would be, especially considering he’s as relaxed as he is. He’s also easy to spot on campus, so all it takes on your part is to walk a little faster across the quad between classes and soon you’re seeing him on almost a daily basis. Although you don’t have classes together, your path converges more with Lou’s, your schedules beginning to sync. He’ll sometimes wait around for you when he knows you two can walk together, and the two of you take turns paying for coffee when you go to the cafe together.

The only downside to making Lou your friend is that he becomes significantly more charming once you get past his somewhat aloof, intimidating exterior. Not that he had ever seemed particularly cold to you, more that he just seemed unapproachably cool for someone like you.

Which isn’t true. He’s a dork, in probably the purest possible sense. He just happens to be a handsome dork.

The next week at tutoring, you can feel yourself getting nervous. It’s the last session you have before your midterm, which is going to seriously affect your grade; Lou knows this, and he doesn’t seem the least bit concerned, meanwhile you can’t stop chewing on you straw just to have something to do. Your distress must be extremely palpable however, because Lou sighs and pokes your forehead so that your face moves away from your straw. He keeps the pad of his index finger pressed gently against your skin as his dark eyes meet yours.

“Alright, Y/N, you’re clearly having trouble focusing,” he starts, and you blush. “So I’m going to strike a deal with you. If you get above a B- on this midterm, I’ll take you out for Korean barbecue, okay?”

Well, you think, who are you to say no to free Korean barbecue with your very attractive tutor-turned-friend? You find yourself grinning at his offer.

“Deal!” You chirp, and Lou chuckles as he lets his hand fall away from your face.

“Time to get studying then, Y/N.”

And, well, who are you to say no to that, either?

You waltz into your next study session with Lou feeling as though you’re walking on air. He smiles at the bright look on your face, gazing up at you expectantly as you approach the table where he’s seated.

“Guess who got an A,” you sing, plopping leaning over the table. Lou laughs and, surprisingly, stands up.

“Well done.” You give him a questioning look as he slips his backpack on his back, and for the first time you realize he’s had no study materials out all this time.

“What?” He asks, laughing. “It’s time to eat.” You cock your head to the side as you slowly follow him out.

“But... but what about our session?” You ask, and he turns back to look at you with an almost devilish smile.

“Consider today a real-world test, Y/N. You’re gonna order our food.” You pout and let out a huff, which leads him to ruffle your hair as you pass by him through the doorway.

“Fine.”

The two of you spend the bus ride in relative silence, except for when you nervously ask Lou questions about ordering food and proper etiquette. He answers all your questions good-naturedly, patting your shoulder to reassure you you’ll be fine. He leaves his arm around you, but you hardly even notice because you’re too busy rehearsing the basics of how to order food politely. It feels like grade school all over again, like you’re rereading your assigned passage before your turn comes up so you don’t stutter.

When you get off the bus, it’s colder than you thought it would be. The sun has already begun setting and you hadn’t expected an outing tonight, though you feel a little foolish for not thinking of it. You’re interrupted in the midst of scolding yourself by Lou tapping your shoulder, and when you turn you nearly get hit in the face with the hoodie he’s been wearing over an unbuttoned flannel and a t-shirt.

“Thanks,” you murmur, feeling a little embarrassed as you let him help you into his hoodie. He chuckles at the way the sleeves fall past your fingers, and you swing your arms back and forth slightly to showcase it even more, joining him in laughing. Eventually, Lou takes the initiative to head to the restaurant, and the nervousness you had all but forgotten comes back with a vengeance as the establishment comes into sight. Probably sensing your nerves, Lou greets the hostess for both of you; you hear him say his own name, and once you’re both seated you look curiously at him.

“Did you make a reservation?” You swear you see the tips of his ears turn red, even as he shrugs nonchalantly.

“I knew you’d do well. Besides, once I mentioned barbecue I decided I had to get some either way.” As always, he acts cool, but you feel yourself grinning at his little act of kindness. You have no doubt he would have brought you regardless of how you did, but it’s nice to know he had faith in you.

After a few minutes of perusing the menu, you test your pronunciation on Lou.

“Bul-go-gi,” he says, slowly, and you repeat it after him in the same manner. “Bulgogi.”

“Bulgogi,” you say, confidently. He smiles at your improved pronunciation.

“And tteok-bokki,” he continues, slowly once again. You repeat carefully, and then take a slow breath in and out to prepare for the waitress coming over. Evidently, you do well enough ordering that the waitress doesn’t look confused or disgusted by your pronunciation, and so you take a much-needed sip of water with a smile on your face. You’re interrupted by Lou’s gentle laughter, and you fix him with a glare.

“What?” You ask, barely pulling away from your drink. His eyes seem to sparkle when he looks at you and shrugs.

“You’re cute when you’re nervous,” he says, like he’s talking about the weather, and you feel your heart skip a beat in your chest. How can he say that so casually?

“Thanks,” you mutter, taking another sip of your water in an attempt to cool yourself down.

Dinner passes without a hitch after that, except for the few times Lou steals food from your plate and it becomes something of a competition as to who can more stealthily snag a bite.

By the time the two of you leave, hours have passed and you feel fit to burst — and you just might, if Lou keeps telling you stories about the guys he lives with back in South Korea. On the bus, he shows you one video of his roommate, Ayno, walking on all fours in a crowded airport with slides on his hands. You attempt to stifle your laughter in the sleeves of Lou’s oversized sweater, but end up snorting instead. You bury your face in his shoulder as you continue to laugh, attempting to hide your embarrassment.

The bus hits a bump in the road, and Lou’s arm slips around you so you don’t bounce off the seat. You’re too busy laughing to really notice.

Lou walks you back to your dorm’s entrance, where you turn and flash him a playful grin.

“So, how’d I do on my test?” You ask, and Lou laughs, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

“Good.” You bite down on your lower lip, but can’t keep yourself from beaming.

“Thanks, Lou,” you say, looking up at him earnestly. The stars frame him beautifully, and you wonder if he even has a bad angle with the way you have to look up at him. “For everything. The tutoring, the food... all of it. I’m glad Lee sent me to you.” You nudge him playfully with your elbow as you say it, and he lets out a laugh that sounds more breathy than usual.

“You’re welcome, Y/N.”

The way he smiles down at you makes you feel flustered, and so you look down at the ground for a moment before wishing him a goodnight. Lou steps away as you reach into your bag for your ID, but he calls to you just as you get the door open. You turn to find him smiling broadly at you, just a little ways down the sidewalk.

“Goodnight!” You feel a goofy grin break across your face and can’t help but laugh.

“Goodnight, Lou!” You call back, and with one last beaming grin and wave he turns away and starts walking back to his dorm.

It isn’t until you get inside and go to hide your burning cheeks that you realize you’re still wearing his hoodie. And you couldn’t be happier.

Monday rolls around, and you’re shocked to find Lou outside your dorm before your first class, a coffee carrier with two americanos in one hand and his phone in the other. He has his earbuds in, and you hear him rapping under his breath as you approach. The sound of his voice, the perfect rhythm, brings a smile to your face as you quietly make your way towards him. You tap him on the shoulder, biting your lip. He looks up, his eyes widening before his expression becomes a grin.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” you reply, giving him a cheeky grin. “I didn’t know you could rap.” He laughs and promptly puts his earbuds away, passing you a coffee.

“Just a hobby,” he replies, tossing the coffee carrier away. “Ready for your quiz today?” You raise an eyebrow.

“How do you know about my quiz?”

“Professor Lee keeps me up to date,” he says.

“Oh.” You feel slightly embarrassed by that, but shrug it off as you take a sip of your coffee. “Well, I feel as ready as I’ll ever be.” Lou laughs at your response tossing an arm around your shoulders as the both of you approach the building your Korean class is held in. He tugs you towards him, pulling you into a gentle hug by the doors.

“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, his low voice rumbling close to your ear. “You’ll do well. You have me as your tutor, after all.” You scoff and push him away, reaching up to mess up his hair.

“So humble,” you say waving him off. Before he strays too far, you raise your voice, “Thanks for the coffee!” He gives you a thumbs up in response before disappearing into the crowd of students heading to class, and you can’t help but smile as you clutch the coffee a little closer to your chest.

You refuse to say it, but you know that the espresso isn’t the reason your heart is pounding as you enter the building.

When you receive yet another ‘A’ on your Korean assignment, you feel like you’re walking on air. And it’s with that confidence boost that you find yourself suggesting to Lou that the two of you go ‘study’ at a bubble tea shop a short bus ride from campus. Lou, for as serious as he seemed when you first met him, has absolutely no problem with your idea and follows you gladly to the bus stop.

The bus ride itself is filled with relatively mindless chatter from the both of you, but neither of you seem to mind. Your eyes keep drifting out the window, to the clear blue sky and the sunlight winking through the trees.

“I can’t believe it’s almost summer,” you remark, and Lou hums in agreement.

“Yeah. The semester’s almost over.” You turn back to him.

“Are you excited to go back to Korea?” His expression clouds for a moment, but soon he’s back to his normal, half-smiling self. He lets out a short laugh and shrugs his shoulders.

��Excited is one word for it.” You think back to what he’s told you about his group of friends and their overly-dramatic send-off for him, and snicker, nudging him with your elbow.

“Come on, this is our stop.” You think nothing of it as you grab his wrist to get him out of his seat, and you miss the redness of his ears when you do so.

Once inside the shop, the two of you bicker about the superior bubble tea flavor and you rush to pay before he can. As you wait for your drinks, your phone lights up on the table with a new message from one of your group chats.

party Saturday night @ Kina’s house. plus ones encouraged ;)

When Lou returns to the table, two cups in his hands, you glance up at him thoughtfully.

“Hey, Lou,” you start, and he raises an eyebrow as he takes a sip of his drink. “What do you say to going to a party with me on Saturday?” He leans back in his seat with a smile.

“I’m in.” Your heart stutters in your chest for a beat, but you push the thought of it away, returning his grin as you sip on your own drink.

You’re starting to think inviting Lou along was a bad idea, because it’s been over an hour and you’re still nursing your first drink. Every spare second you’ve had, you’ve been swarmed by people wanting to be introduced to the tall boy at your side. While he doesn’t seem to notice all the attempts to flirt with him, all the obvious heart eyes people are flashing in his direction, you definitely do, and you’re getting more annoyed by the minute. As the most recent group of people wanders away, their eyes lingering on Lou, you can’t help but sigh.

“I think you’re the most popular guy here now,” you joke, taking a long sip of your drink. Lou laughs at that and casually slings an arm around your shoulders.

“Jealous?” He teases, and you shrug him off with a roll of your eyes. You open your mouth to make some witty retort, but are interrupted by someone calling out both of your names.

“Come play Truth or Dare with us!” Kina exclaims, waving you over. You glance at Lou to gauge his reaction, but he only shrugs with that mysterious half-grin on his face, tugging you towards the living room. Kina has pushed most of the furniture to the edges of the room, and the circle of players sitting on the floor expands slightly to make room for you and Lou to sit down. You watch as Kina chugs down half a bottle of beer before setting the bottle down in the center of the circle and giving it a spin.

The game is, for the most part, uneventful. Kina dares a guy to take his shirt off, said guy obliges (quite happily, you might note, which seems counterintuitive for the game) and then gets one of his buddies to reveal their most embarrassing drunken escapade. Said story actually gets you to set your own drink aside, suddenly not in the mood for alcohol any longer. The spin lands on a girl you think you had some class with freshman year, and after she completes her dare (do a keg stand, which she nails and is actually pretty impressive and terrifying) the bottle suddenly lands on Lou. There’s a glimmer in the girl’s eyes as she stares him down, and you realize that she’s one of many people you introduced Lou to tonight.

“Truth or dare,” she asks, smirking. You feel as though your stomach is twisting into knots, and you don’t know why. Lou, cool as ever, quickly responds:

“Dare.” Her grin stretches wider and you feel extremely uncomfortable, wondering if this night is going to have to end with you apologizing to Lou for ruining his semester abroad because of some weird, drunk girl.

“Okay, Lou,” she says, almost purring, “I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in this room. Right now.” You glance at him for a moment before looking back around the circle. Most people seem to be eagerly awaiting his next move, but the tightness you felt in your stomach has now spread to your chest. You’re curious yourself, to be honest, but you also can’t help but feel uncomfortable on his behalf. While you’re sitting, debating whether you should stop this game for the sake of the boy beside you or just let it run its course, Lou has already made his decision. You hear his jeans scuff against the carpet and you turn your head to face him, brows furrowed in concern.

And yet, Lou doesn’t look even a fraction as upset as you had worried he would be, although he does look nervous. You open your mouth to ask him if he’s sure he’s okay with this, but then you realize something truly startling.

Lou isn’t standing up, not even trying to. Instead, he’s turned his body to face yours and is slowly leaning closer. You tense up, confused, your heart skidding to a stop for a moment as his dark eyes lock with yours. With a strange rush of blood to your head you realize he’s being completely serious as he closes the distance between the two of you—

He presses a kiss to your forehead, then leans back and resumes his former position, reaching out to spin the bottle. You can feel your face burning, and can’t hear anything but your runaway heartbeat in your ears. You swallow thickly, unable to take your eyes off him, and yet all he offers you after he gives someone a very simple dare is a glance and another enigmatic smile, placing his hand over yours as the game continues to unfold.

The rest of the night passes in a bit of a blur, but you’re suddenly very aware of Lou’s hands on you; his arm around your shoulders, the back of his hand brushing your own, even just his broad chest behind your back. It’s more like you’re hyper-aware of him and the fact that he’s taking every possible opportunity to touch you, even if it’s just for a moment. By the time you’re about to leave the party, the house feels far too hot and crowded, and you think you’ve got your cardio in for the month; the second your feet hit the pavement, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Lou lets out a gentle laugh from beside you and, unbidden, drapes his hoodie across your shoulders. You glance up at him, biting the inside of your cheek as you regard him; under the yellow streetlights his skin and hair look unbelievably soft, and his eyes seem to sparkle just for you.

“Thanks,” you murmur, unable to raise your voice above a whisper. He doesn’t say a word in response, but the back of his hand brushes yours again and you feel your heart rate spike once more. You come to a halt in the middle of the quiet sidewalk, and Lou stops just a few steps ahead of you, looking back curiously. You pull his jacket tighter around you even though you don’t feel cold and clear your throat, which suddenly feels inexplicably dry.

“About earlier,” you start, lamely. “Did you mean it?” Lou blinks at you, his expression unreadable.

“Why do you ask?” You feel your face heating up again even as you shrug, attempting to be nonchalant.

“Well, I mean— it was a forehead kiss— and you didn’t really know anyone else, so I wasn’t sure…” At some point during your poorly constructed sentence, your gaze had drifted down to the pavement in some attempt to hide your embarrassment. You hear Lou move, and suddenly you can see his shoes almost toe-to-toe with yours. Your breath catches when he gently tilts your chin up to look at him, his eyes bright and mirthful.

“I wasn’t just going to kiss you without permission in a room full of people,” he says, a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. “Why? Did you want me to?” Although his tone is playful, you see that same earnestness in his gaze that you had during the game, and it feels as though the world falls still. Without meaning to, your gaze flicks down to his lips for a moment, and you have a sudden, strange burst of confidence when you look back into his eyes.

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” you reply. Lou laughs at that and then leans in, closing the gap between the two of you once more and pressing his lips to yours.

And the world starts to turn again.

Lou doesn’t really ask you to be his girlfriend because he doesn’t have to; the two of you just kind of slip into a romantic relationship, which really just means adding more physical contact to your usual conversations and maybe some heart emojis here and there. Being Lou’s girlfriend means constantly getting treated to coffee and being given the best hugs — means being allowed to listen to songs off is mixtape before they get officially posted — means getting to play with his hair when he takes a nap with his head on your lap, or you watch a drama together in what Lou claims is an attempt to better your Korean.

It means your heart fluttering at even the smallest gestures, and it means feeling heartbroken when Professor Lee reminds all of you that your final is in one week.

You haven’t really talked to Lou about his going back to Korea since you asked him about it on the bus that day, and it’s partly because you don’t know what you want him to do about it. On the one hand, you’ve never been in a long distance relationship that’s that long distance, but on the other you’ve never had a relationship that feels as seamless and right as the one you have with Lou. You keep telling yourself you both need to focus on finals, that you can’t put the pressure on him right now, but you know the truth of the matter is that you’re too scared to face the reality of the situation just then.

Your tutoring sessions have moved out of the library and into Lou’s dorm room, because his roommate is almost never around. According to Lou, he spends most of his time with his girlfriend in her apartment, so Lou has only seen him a few times. It’s reading day for your school, and you’ve decided to take over Lou’s room as he helps you prep for your Korean final the next day.

“When’s your last final again?” He asks, nonchalantly, shuffling your index cards.

“Thursday,” you reply, without thinking for a moment of what this conversation could turn into, too focused on the task at hand.

“I leave Wednesday,” Lou says, and you feel your heart sink into your stomach, weighing you down. “I’m taking an Uber from the school at 2. We should have lunch together.” Your throat feels inexplicably dry, but you manage to nod your head. Lou smiles at you, then hold up the first flashcard. You try not to think about it.

If someone were to ask you which superpower you wish you had, it would be to freeze time, because you really don’t want Lou to leave. You close your eyes, leaning your head against his shoulder. A light breeze passes over both of you as you sit on the bench waiting for his Uber, and Lou gently runs his fingers through your hair.

He doesn’t seem upset, but you think maybe it’s for your sake. You didn’t expect to feel so emotional about all of this, considering you haven’t even been together that long, but the bond you have with Lou feels inexplicably strong. He had told you at lunch he wanted to continue this if you did, and you burst into tears in the middle of taking a bite of your pizza — needless to say, it’s been a long day.

“Hey,” he says, softly. You open your eyes to look up at him. “Don’t be too sad, okay? I promise we won’t be apart for long.” You don’t know how he can promise that, but you’re left with no choice but to trust him as his Uber pulls up to the curb.

The driver is blessedly patient with the both of you as you cry into Lou’s arms for the last time, apologizing for all your blubbering while he presses a soothing kiss to your forehead. Eventually, you calm down enough to kiss him properly, then press your forehead to his.

“Lou?” You prod, gently. He hums. “I love you.” For the first time, you think you hear his voice crack,

“I love you, too.”

As the Uber pulls away, you receive an AirDrop request to an unlisted YouTube video on Lou’s channel. The title of the track makes you cry even more.

사랑해.

After listening to Lou’s unreleased song for you for days on end, you make a decision. You would call it rash if it hadn’t taken you so long to translate the message to send over Facebook, but it certainly feels crazy fast approaching when you buy your plane tickets after receiving a one-word response from Mrs. Kim: “드디어!”

You fall asleep on the plane listening to Lou’s voice through your earbuds, and wake up more excited than ever to land. Mrs.Kim has been active on Facebook since you woke up, and has been excitedly messaging you updates about Lou. You can’t help but laugh when she tells you he’s been moping about having to go pick up her mystery friend from the airport — apparently your boyfriend thinks he’s being treated more like a pack mule than a son. After some light banter, she tells you where they’ll be waiting for you as your plane begins its initial descent.

Deplaning takes forever and the airport is a nightmare to navigate but it’s all so worth it when you see the look on your boyfriend’s face when he spots you.

“Y/N?” Lou asks, shocked, as you make your way towards him. You feel yourself tearing up, but in the best possible way.

“Surprise!” You reply, trying to keep your voice from cracking. Lou pulls you into his arms, and he laughs gently as he holds you close; you swear you hear a tremble in it and wonder if he’s feeling as emotional as you are. His heart seems to be beating just as fast, anyways.

“How? My mom told me we were picking up her friend…”

“Well, you taught me enough Korean that I managed to get an A in class and send a passable message to your mom on Facebook…” You pull back to look into his eyes, your arms still looped around his neck. “So, here I am! All yours for a month.” Lou smiles and his eyes turn to crescents. He shakes his head in disbelief before leaning down to press a kiss against your lips, chuckling softly when he pulls away to press his forehead to yours.

“What?” You ask, running a thumb along his cheekbone. He gently shakes his head.

“I didn’t think I’d get to see you again for at least a year… I’ve been thinking about you nonstop, and now here you are.” You open your mouth to reply, but a sudden call of your name interrupts you. You peer around Lou to see his mother approaching, a wide smile split across her face and a carrier of iced coffees in her hands. She shoves said drinks into Lou’s hands in order to greet you, her Korean spoken so fast you can barely understand it all — but her eyes and the smile on her face tell you enough. She holds both your hands in hers, and shoots a wink at her son that makes his ears turn red, and warmth explodes in your chest as you all leave the airport.

You can feel somewhere deep inside, this is going to be the best two weeks of your life.

#vav fanfiction #vav imagines #vav scenarios #vav texts #vav lou #lou fanfiction #lou au #lou imagines #lou scenarios #lou texts #My writing #kpop fanfiction #kpop writing #kpop scenarios #kpop texts #kpop imagines

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royallyjoon · 5 years

Text

red light magic ii

“in my heart I have but one desire...

and that one is you,

no other will do...”

Two weeks passed by successfully. You found your classes fairly easy, all except for chemistry. Nevertheless, the professors were proud of your progress.

You chatted with your upperclassmen friends more and more in Psychology. Namjoon would steal your notebook to add little facts he remembered from past research to the gallery of notes you already took, while Hoseok would doodle smiley faces and stick figures when you were bored in class.

You found yourself leaving one side of each page blank to leave room for their additions. Between the two, they kept you entertained and educated.

They even frequently asked you about Jungkook, and you were shocked they knew him.

“He’s our dongsaeng,” Hoseok explained cheerfully. “We live together with him and five other friends.”

You nodded in understanding. “Would two of those other friends be Jimin and Taehyung?”

They paused. “Yeah, how did you know?”Namjoon asked.

You felt flustered from suddenly having both of their attention. “Jungkook introduced me to them after the freshman activities at the end of the first week of school.”

They smile and went back to their respective notebooks before the professor started chastising your trio.

After class, they waited for you to pack your bags and started walking in the same direction as you.

“Where are you guys headed? You usually have class by now, right?” You hiked your bag up higher on your shoulders. You weren’t even a month into the term, but your bag already almost weighed so much from the force of your books.

“Aww, look at that, Joonie. (Y/N) memorized our schedule.” Hoseok threw his arm around your shoulders and you squeaked.

“It’s not that I memorized it, you told me when you left on the first day of school...and common sense says it’s where you go every Tuesday...” you muttered.

“Cute...” The two thought to themselves.

“Our teacher emailed us that he wouldn’t be able to make it, so he canceled the lecture. We’re up to date on the material, anyway.” Namjoon said.

You were finding it a bit difficult to focus on what he was saying with Hoseok’s arm on your shoulders but nodded along.

“What do you usually spend this period doing?” He asked.

“I read under the willow tree by Marie Pond with another sunbae.” You said.

The boys looked at each other. “What?” You asked.

“Sleeps a lot?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah...”

“Pale, not too tall, blue hair?”

“Yeah!”

“Yoongi hyung.” They said together.

“He’ll hate us for coming with you and being loud, but as long as you don’t mind, we’d love to tag along.”

Your mind was reeling over how small your circle of friends was but you shook your head and smiled. “Of course I don’t mind, the more the merrier.”

“What are these two idiots doing here?” Yoongi grumbled upon your arrival. He was already positioned with his bag under his head, one wire earphone in and one out.

“They’re in my Psychology class, sunbae. I heard you already knew each other.” You stated as you smoothed your skirt behind your legs. It was somewhat chilly out, but you left the house in an oversized green sweatshirt and jean skirt.

“Of course.” Yoongi rolled up his headphones and stuffed them in the outside pocket of his bag. “In sophomore year, Seokjin hyung forced me to join the Freshman Activities Board. I was trying to take a nap when these two loud ass kids came pestering me about ‘what is it like to study forensics?’”.

“You study forensics?” Your eyes widened. “What’s that like?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes as Namjoon and Hoseok burst into laughter. “There goes another one.”

He shifted around on the grass before settling in for his usual nap. “(Y/N), you know the drill. Namjoon, Hoseok, if you wake me up I will personally slaughter you.”

You giggled as you leaned against the tree. The two shifted away from Yoongi and towards you as you pulled out your chemistry textbook.

“Last minute homework? That’s so unlike you, (Y/N).” Namjoon noted. You sighed, “It isn’t last minute. Chemistry lectures are so difficult for me that I try to read ahead and get a gist of the material.”

Yoongi shifted onto one shoulder before turning his head slightly in your direction. “...If you want, I could tutor you in Chemistry. Callahan’s a softie, but most of his lectures are nonsense. I managed to pass his class with high grades.”

“You would tutor me, sunbae?” Your eyes widened a fraction. “I would love to be your student, as long as you aren’t too busy...”

Yoongi grumbled before rolling to one side and sitting up. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to do it. C’mere.” He tugged on your bag, so you switched places with Hoseok and sat with your back to the tree next to Yoongi.

The sophomores looked on with slight envy.

Yoongi took your notebook and started pointing out concepts that the professor would absolutely put on the exam. You nodded at his explanations and found that the gibberish the professor spoke about when matched with Yoongi’s words, made complete sense.

“I understand! Thank you so much, sunbae!” You grinned at Yoongi. The senior felt himself blush. “It’s no problem. We’ll keep meeting up like this every week, yes? If you need the help, don’t be afraid to ask. I find I have way too much time on my hands this semester.” Yoongi smiled back and your heart softened.

“Hyung, did (Y/N) tell you? She knows Jungkookie as well.” Hoseok cut in.

“You’ve met our maknae?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Jungkook and I share an English class. I didn’t really expect it, considering his major but he told me his program put him there so he can become a better scriptwriter.” You beamed.

Your excitement at finding your one freshman friend outside of your roommates seemed to match Jungkook’s that Wednesday morning you walked into English. He picked up his bag and you two found seats in the middle of the room next to each other.

“(N/N)’s such a diligent worker.” Hoseok mused.

“(N/N)?” You asked.

His smile dropped. “I mean, I just thought it fit well with you, and your personality...”

You broke out into laughter. “You can call me that, it’s fine! Thank you for the nickname.”

Hoseok perked up again. “That’s good. I’m glad!”

Your cheeks burned and Yoongi waved him off, threatening to kick someone into the pond if they didn’t shut up and let him sleep.

The next morning, you woke up late. Your roommates were already gone, but they made breakfast and left you a plate. You’d have to remember to thank them when they returned.

Wednesdays were your favorite yet least favorite for the same reason: English class. Yes, you got to see Jungkook and spend time together in class. But there was one person who managed to distract and infuriate you in the hour and forty-five minute period.

Christopher Harl.

He was funny, cute, and sometimes sweet. Yet he ignored your very existence and when he did pay attention to you, it was to call you out in front of everyone.

Jungkook obviously didn’t like him. If it hadn’t been for your intervention, they probably would have fought by now. You sighed as you ate the cut-up left for you. Today would be a hassle, alright. But it was only for two hours.

You got changed into flowy, black pants with a red shirt and red sneakers. You swung your packed book bag on your back, grabbed your phone, and strolled through the door.

Upon arriving at the classroom, it dawned on you that you’d forgotten multiple things.

Your keys, for one. Your headphones (your lifeblood), for another. And most importantly, your assignment.

The teacher had assigned an essay that was worth 40% of the term grade, the first part of which is due this morning.

You hadn’t printed it out, forgetting it in your exhaustion as you’d only finished it this morning around 3. Unlike your other professors, this teacher would not accept online submission and made the students print it out.

It was now, as you stood in the doorway of the classroom on the verge of panicking that Christopher walked up behind you.

“Well, if it isn’t the slacker, (Y/N) (L/N)-”

“Shit!” Your face crumpled all at once and you accidentally turned to slam right into Christopher’s chest. He stumbled backward, grabbing your shoulders for balance.

This was the scene Jungkook turned the hall to.

All the freshman could focus on was the clear distress and panic in your eyes. You were on the verge of tears as Christopher fucking Harl had his hands on your shoulders and a sneer on his lips.

Jungkook tried. He truly had. He wanted to make you happy, and if he had to restrain from giving someone a royal ass-whooping to do that, he would.

But Christopher Harl made you cry.

That was the last straw.

Jungkook threw his bag down and raced down the hallway.

You turned your head at the sound of rapid footsteps. Jungkook was racing towards the two of you, and a crowd of incoming students gathered to watch the inevitable.

You pushed Christopher’s hands off your shoulders, rapidly wiping tears away. “Jungkook, wait! Stop!”

He made no move to a stop, and lightning-fast his fist came up and punched Christopher in the jaw.

The other boy flew, landing harshly on his back. You winced. “Jungkook!”

Your friend was about to climb on top of Christopher and show him just what he thought about his teasing, but he walked over at the sound of your exclamation. “Did he tell you something? Did he put his hands on you? Are you alright?”

Your voice was trembling. “No, I just-I’m such a dumbass, I forgot to print the essay and Yealman is such a bitch, I-she won’t give me any extra time and class is about to start-”

Jungkook exhaled. “That’s all you were worried about? Did you not get the announcement?”

You blinked tears out of your eyes. “What?”

“Yealman posted that she can’t make it to class. We’re having a sub, but she’ll collect the essays in person on Friday.”

You stood in shock.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You said at the same time as Christopher. He rose, rubbing his jaw. “I didn’t do anything to her, Jeon! Why the fuck would you punch me?”

Jungkook frowned. “You think you’re hot shit, walking around and insulting people genuinely better than you. Kiss my ass, Hurl.”

Christopher tugged Jungkook’s shoulder to make him face him. You figured it was about time for you to step in.

“Guys, stop! Jungkook, you didn’t have to punch him, you were in the wrong. Christopher-”

“What is going on here?” The presence of a new voice made all heads turn.

The most beautiful man you’d ever seen walked into your midst. He held a folder and a computer. He was simply dressed but outshone the rest.

“Hyung?” Jungkook whispered. You snapped your head back and forth between the two.

“Jungkook, this isn’t a great impression you’re making not even a month into the school year.” The Adonis in front of you claimed. “Everyone else, please usher yourselves inside the room as quickly as possible. I will be right back with your three classmates.”

“Hyung? Who is that?” You whispered to Jungkook.

The man extended his hand towards you. “Seokjin Kim, at your service. A pleasure to meet you.”

“That’s essentially what happened.” You finished explaining the matter to Mr. Kim, who was calmly perching on the desk in Professor Yealman’s office.

“So, it seems you do owe Mr. Hurl-”

“Harl, sir,” Christopher grumbled as Jungkook snickered.

“Yes, my mistake. You owe Mr. Harl an apology, Jungkook.” Mr. Kim sighed.

“I apologize for punching you when you didn’t deserve it,” Jungkook said. “I’ll be sure to do so when appropriate.”

You gently slapped his arm and Christopher bristled.

“Now, Ms. (L/N), as you have heard the essay will be collected Friday. Feel free to use my computer to print your assignment here.” Mr. Kim held out his device.

“Oh, Mr. Kim, thank you so much but it’s really okay. We have a printer back at the do-” You were about to reassure him when it occurred to you that you were currently locked out of your room, the panic from this morning ruining your entire day.

“On second thought, thank you so much.” You shyly took the laptop and waited as he entered his password.

“It’s my pleasure. We wouldn’t want you having a repeat of today on Friday morning.” Mr. Kim smiled and you nodded, not looking into his eyes.

“Hyung, what are you doing here?” Jungkook asked.

“When we’re in school, I’m Mr. Kim. And I’m here because your teacher is absent. Karu likes to call on nearby alumn for substitutes instead of other teachers.” The man said, rolling his eyes.

A couple of minutes later, your paper was fresh in your hands.

“Thank you again, Mr. Kim.” He held the door open for the three of you as you walked back to class. Jungkook pulled you aside and let the other two go down the hallway.

“What’s wrong with your dorm?” He asked, brows furrowed.

“I forgot my keys at home this morning too, with my headphones. My roommates won’t be back for a while, they all have clubs today. I don’t really have anyone else to stay with at the hall.” You muttered.

“What time does your last class end?”

“...around 4:30, why?”

“Come and meet me outside of the Elizabeth Juno Building; my last art class is there.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see!” Jungkook started walking faster to get back to the classroom. Outside of it, Christopher stood with his hand on the back of his neck. When he saw you two approaching, he glared warily at Jungkook.

The other boy gave him a look of warning as he entered the classroom. Before you could, however, Christopher stopped you.

“Is there something else you need?” You asked him.

He stood there staring at you for another minute. It was starting to get uncomfortable. But Christopher was just trying to find a way to gather his words.

When he saw you break in his arms this morning, he realized how childish he was being. And he also realized he never wanted to see you cry over school again.

“I...just wanted to say I’m sorry for the immature and unnecessary things I’ve said to you. They weren’t true, and it’s about time I grow up. I’m also sorry that you had such a stressful morning...”

Your jaw almost dropped but you held it up to avoid looking like a fish. “Um...that’s really nice of you to say, Christopher.”

“Call me Chris.”

“...Chris...thank you.” You gave him a quick smile and entered the classroom before Jungkook got suspicious.

Christopher came in right behind you and closed the door. He failed to notice two sets of eyes piercing his back the entire time it took him to return to his seat.

#yandere bts x reader #yandere bts #min yoongi #jeon jungkook #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #park jimin #jung hoseok #college!au

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stories-mostly · 5 years

Text

Stark's Bug

Tony Stark x Son!Reader

=Masterlist=

Guess what? I'm back with another chapter! And also had a revelation when writing but it had nothing to do with writing. It's just that I realized that mammoths weren't mammoths to the people that lived with them is all. Blew my mind straight out the window. Anyway, enjoy.

Words: 2764

Warnings: none

Chapter 19

So turns out that letter your teacher gave you to hand your dad was an invitation for a parent teacher conference so now you and your dad were sitting opposite Mrs Foster who was going on over your grades and work. She was saying that she had been giving you more difficult work that was for 4th graders and above to test her theory.

You were extremely under challanged with the second grade material. And understood more advanced materials with ease. Meaning now you should seriously consider what to do now. And there really were just two options. Skip a grade or be given more advanced courses and material while remaining in the same grades as your friends.

And with that you and your dad were left to make that decision.

Your dad wasn't a fan of the idea of skipping a grade. He feared that you might not be able to befriend older kids that would be your classmates. Not that he told you that but he's just worried. About everything to be honest but especially things that concern you.

The day after the talk with the teacher he sat you down and explained to you in detail what either thing would do. And left you to form your own opinion.

It was a lot to take in for an almost 8 year old. So you did what sounded coolest to you and your friends. And all of you thought it would be really cool for you to skip some grades.

So you told your dad that you want to skip instead of getting advanced work. The teachers gave your dad lots of the curricular of the 4th grade for you to test your knowledge with. So on weekends and after school you got different homework then your peers. 4th grade math, English and such. To everyone's surprise it was easy and didn't took longer than your usual homework. So one more grade was put on the skip list.

5th grade work was harder and at least gave you a bit of a challenge but it wasn't impossible so arrangements were made that if your grades held up you would be skipping 3rd and 4th grade.

You found that very exciting and worked hard despite school not being challenging at all. And when summer break arrived you were given the clear to skip the next two grades. The next school year you will be in 5th grade.

You won't be changing schools though as your school was both elementary and middle school in one. It was just different rooms.

But you didn't have to worry about that yet. Because it was finally summer break and you could lounge about at home and do whatever the f you want!

You, your dad, Pepper, and Happy were all spending the break in New York for the most part. Because they were planning on building a tower there which is cool in your opinion. Peppers idea. What wasn't so cool however was that you had to spend a considerable amount of time inside of office buildings or the apartment they had rented, as both of them were busy and neither really wanted to go outside in this city and cause a ruckus. So Happy was basically a godsend whenever he was free.

When he didn't have to drive anyone around he spends time with you. You actually got to explore the city because of him.

Today Happy was taking you around Central Park while your dad were in a meeting room discussing the buying of some property where they want to build that tower.

You were meanwhile making friends in the park. And were all around having a much more pleasant time.

You were climbing up a tree near the playground when a boy approached you.

"Woah you're really high up!" The boy pointed out. And you were. The branches were getting thinner though so you couldn't climb much higher.

"You're really good at climbing." He pointed out and you responded with a polite "Thank you."

Making your way down you jumped off the last branch and landed infront of the kid.

"My name is Y/n, do you wanna play together?"

"Yes! What do you want to play?" The boy responded in high pitched happy tone, not giving you his name.

The two of you wandered back onto the playground and dug as deep a hole into the sand as possible together.

"Its like a tiger trap." The boy mused and your head lit up with an idea.

"We can cover it up like a trap!" You stood up, wiped the sand off your legs and ran off looking for branches and leaves. Just like in TV.

You told the other boy to do the same and put it next to the hole. Together you covered the hole with sticks, then threw on the leaf litter and topped it off with sand.

It was still clearly visible if you looked for it, but from above it just looked like an average little sand mount.

"Now we only have to wait for tigers to smell the meat." The boy said as he placed a rock on top of the mount as a lure.

"We better hide." You pointed out and the two of you ran off the hide behind a tree to wait for the tiger to come.

And the tiger came. But not like you'd have expected. Happy, who had been reading something on his cell phone before looked up and realized you were gone out of his sight.

He jumped to his feet and looked about the playground not noticing the newly covered up hole in his search for you. With one step he broke the twigs and branches and his foot disappeared into the hole.

You bust out giggling as you ran forward to shout about the tiger being captured.

The boy was more shocked, he seemed flustered and apologetic towards your uncle.

"Are you hurt sir?" He asked shyly expecting the worst.

"No kiddo it's fine. That's a nice trap you two build there. Can you fill it back up so nobody else falls in?" He directed the last question at you. You sighed, nodded and got to work. The boy joined you and soon enough the hole was no more. Happy gave you a thumbs up at that and you turned back to your new friend.

"Eugene, it's time to go." It sounded from the benches not even 10 minutes into your new game. A younger looking woman was waiting there looking over the playground.

You turned your head to see which one of the kids were going when your friend started to leave.

Oh, so his name was Eugene.

You followed him to, what you assumed was his mother. Not really ready to have him go yet.

"Do we have to?" Eugene sulked but was beside her non the less.

"Yes, your mother said she'll meet us at the zoo in 15 minutes. So we have to go now."

"You're going to the Zoo?" You chimed in grinning.

"Yes, what's your name?" The lady who was not his mother asked.

"Y/n, and you?"

"Just call me Claudia. Yes, we're going to the zoo. Are you alone here? Where are your parents?"

"My uncle is right there."

She asked you a few more polite questions a person might ask to entertain a strangers child.

"We have to go now. Eugene be nice and say Goodbye to your friend." She finally said and pushed said boy forward a little. He hugged you a bit too tightly and waved to you as he left. Being polite you waved back.

So that's that.

With a sigh you turned to Happy who was now writing something in his phone. How boring. You wished you had your costume so you could play superhero.

Now that Eugene was gone you didn't know what to do with yourself. So you did the next logical thing and plopped yourself down next to Happy and stared off I to the abyss.

"You ready to leave?" Happy asked after putting away his phone.

"Yeah."

And so you both stood up and started walking along a nearby path. As you were walking Happy pulled up his arm to look at the watch on his wrist.

"We still have about an hour to spare. What do you wanna do?"

A lightbulb went off in your head and your whole demeanour changed in an instant.

"Can we go to the zoo?"

"The zoo? Sure." So Happy being the all knowing person he is turned and steered you in the direction of the central park zoo.

After paying you sprinted from exhibit to exhibit looking to spot as many animals as you could and maybe even spot Eugene again.

Happy could barely keep track of you in the crowds of people. It was summer vacation so lots of people were visiting the small zoo.

For the next animals you walked into a building. Happy however walked past it not having seen you enter it. You were oblivious to his absence and stared at the cute lil snake in it's big terrarium.

When you reached the exit you turned to see how far Happy was lagging behind you. When you saw that he wasn't. Now you were small and he could be just behind some tall people so you waited a little thinking he'd come eventually.

But he didn't. So you panicked. Much like Happy who was backtracking to where he last saw you. Just a few seconds after he passed the exit you came out looking like the scared kid you were.

You were already thinking about how you'd get to the apartment on your own. You sort of know the way, but only barely. And the address was out of the question.

You wanted to cry, but you knew that that wouldn't help. And also you didn't like crying in the first place, much less in public. So with a blurred vision you pushed past groups and families in a blind search for your uncle.

Meanwhile he was debating whether calling the police right now was a bit too early. What about your dad? He would have his head if something happens to you.

You passed the seal enclosure and climbed up on a bench trying to see over the crowd, looking for any sign of the one person that could save you in this situation. Your family and teacher had told you what to do in the case you were in but in your panic everything flew out the window. The whole "stay put" "find a family and ask for help" "find an employee/Police officer" wasn't coming to mind right now. All that was on your mind was that you were alone and scared and in a city that you didn't know.

A woman looked in your direction and frowned. She saw the distressed look on your face and came over tugging along a boy not much younger than you. Followed by an adult man.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" She asked prompting you to look to her. She saw the tears building in your eyes and knew what happened.

"I can't find my uncle." You said your voice wavering dangerously, confirming her suspicion.

"Sit down sweetheart. What's your name? Mine's May." She said softly laying her hand on your forearm.

"Y-Y/n."

"Alright Y/n, do you know what your uncles name is? What does he look like?" The man now asked, he was crouching down in front of you.

The boy sat down on the other side of you, obviously concerned.

"His na-me is, is Happy but that's not his real name," you explained as the almost crying hiccups in your breath started, "His real name is, is Harold Hogan. And hes taller- than you and chubby. Wi-th brown hair that is short."

May was taking mental notes, the guy sounded sort of familiar.

"And what's your full name, sweetie?" She asked.

"(Full/n)-Stark." You said as the damm finally broke. You wanted to go home, you wanted your dad, you wanted to not be here right now. It was all to much and you just let it out as the younger boy patted your back.

May had been stunned speechless by your name but called into action as your cries reached her ears.

"Shhh, shhh, baby it's alright, well find him don't worry." As she consoled with words she also pulled you into her arms. This was just supposed to be a nice afternoon with Peter and her Husband and now it turned into a rescue mission for a celebrity's child. But you were a child first, and a very scared one at that.

As your sobs quieted down she had made a decision on how to find the man.

"Y/n, are you alright to stay here for a moment? I'll go look for your uncle and you stay here with Ben and Peter, okay?" She pointed at the two people who had accompanied her respectively to show which ones which.

You nodded reluctantly and leaned against the back of the bench. Now with a red nose and slightly puffy eyes.

"Peter, you look over him okay?"

The boy, Peter nodded dutifully and took your hand and started talking after May had left.

"Are you okay now?" His voice was full of concern.

You nodded.

"Do you want some water?" Ben now asked and held a bottle towards you.

"No, thank you."

It was silent for a moment. None really knowing what to do.

"Okay, let's talk about your day then shall we?" The adult tried again, attempting to keep your mind from worrying thoughts, "What did you do today?"

"I was at the Playground. And I played with a boy named Eugene."

"That's nice, me and Peter made breakfast together today. Right Pete?"

"Yeah! We made bug pancakes to surprise aunt May," the boy beamed, " They were bigger than my face and we put syrup and strawberries and stuff on them! Do you like pancakes?"

"Yeah. But I never eat them with strawberries."

"Why not? They're tasty like that!"

"Because Pepper is allergic and so we can't have them incase the strawberry stuff gets on other stuff. It's called cross contamination and it's dangerous if you're allergic."

"That sucks!"

"Hey!" Ben chimed in at that kind of language.

"Do you at least like Strawberries?"

You shrugged. They weren't your favourite but definetly not the worst.

May looked around herself quickly spotting an employee of the zoo. But before she could approach them for help a better option walked into her vision. The man himself looking around panicked, trying to spot the small lost child in the crowd.

"Excuse me!" She half shouted and jogged over to him.

"Excuse me are you maybe looking for a little lost boy?"

Happy's head turned up with a mixture of relief and confusion.

"Yes! Hes about this big, (colour) hair, wears a Blue T-shirt with a lion on it. His name is Y/n."

"That's him, I found him looking for you over there, follow me."

"Oh my God, thank you so much! I can't tell you how grateful I am that you found him!" Happy followed her to the bench were you were animatedly talking with the young boy over various breakfast foods.

"Y/n!"

You perked up at the familiar voice. Before you could even process that your uncle was there you were already swooped up into a hug. Happy visibly relaxed having you back on his radar. With a sigh he put you back on your feet and took your hand in his.

"I don't know how I can thank you Mrs...."

"Parker, and it's nothing really. I'm sure anyone would have done the same." She waved him off.

Happy contemplated before coming up with a thank you thing to do.

Next thing you know you're holding hands with Peter and eating some ice cream together with the three adults.

Peter had taken your other hand as soon as Happy started to walk towards the ice cream vendor and was now talking about everything and nothing inbetween licks of strawberry flavoured ice cream as you wandered through the zoo together. Closely followed by Happy, May and Ben, who you felt very uncomfortable adressing with their first name.

Half an hour later the ice cream long finished you parted ways with the Parker family having turned the bad thing into something great. You've also learned a lot about Peter. Apparently he really likes both animals and Superheroes and was fumbling with excitement when you told him that not only did you have a pet but you also had a superhero dad.

On the ride home you gushed very excitedly to Happy about the boy and his interests. Your new friend was so cool in your opinion even if he was a year younger.

Peter was doing the same on his ride home. Not being able to comprehend that he just met the kid of Iron Man! Who kept a crayfish as a pet! Who does that? He just met someone who did. And he didn't even know he was gonna meet him again not all that long into the future.

Tags: @shannonr2003 @art-estrange @tater-thotties @tonystanktheirondad @gaylemonshark @emilaa2001 @kindahadeschild @actualcringetm

#male reader #male!reader #m!reader #tony stark x m!reader #tony stark x child!reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #tony stark x male reader #tony stark x male!reader #reader insert #marvel reader insert #tony stark #child!reader #child reader #stark!son #stark!reader #starks bug #chapter 19

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whitmanpumpkin · 4 years

Note

I beg that we talk professor!hader 😩

i beg we do, too. because first off there’s the question of whether he’s your flustered english professor (assigned to helping you with your master’s thesis) or if he’s the kind of awkward (but in a sweet way) drama professor every freshman has an opinion on.

i’m going to come back to the english professor concept, but let’s talk about about the drama professor for the moment.

he’s the professor who you’d never thought to be one. he dresses like a grad student, and one who never really learned to dress in the first place. in fact, on your first day with him, you talked to him like another student because it had never crossed your mind he could ever be the professor. you were hitting your head on your desk for the entire lecture.

not only does every freshman have an opinion on him (because of course they do), but every other student that’s passed through his doors has one too. there are even some who have never had the guy, who all sigh when you tell them he’s your theatre 120 professor.

he doesn’t like to be called “professor hader” and would much rather just be called bill. someone calls him william once, and he made sure no one ever did that again. but then someone else joked with him using “billiam” and that slides from time to time, but only because he’s laughing too hard to correct them.

he likes to write a lot of notes, in sloppy handwriting, during all of your graded performances. at first, you’re terrified he’s writing so much because he’s going to give you a horrible grade, but instead he passes every student and has just given them a full page of constructive criticism that he hopes help them become better.

and then there’s the fact every student that he has basically has a huge crush on him. those tend to intensify whenever his students see him preform and realize that he’s actually good at what he does. and he’s funny. and he’s great at impersonating the other professors in the program.

you feel that same futile crush festering around in your ribcage on certain days, which are the same days you repress it. of course, it pops back up a few months later just a little stronger, but it’s not like anything is ever going to come of it. yes, he is the youngest professor and is technically only like 5 or 6 years older than you, but still. ethics, ya know?

you’re lucky enough to snag him for some of the higher level classes. and you’re not exactly the next meryl streep or anything (hence why you weren’t accepted to a conservatory like julliard’s or yale’s) but you think you’re pretty good.

well, that’s until you get rosalind in as you like it your senior year.

you knew all of her fun facts before you got the role. she’s the “female hamlet” and has more lines than any other female in shakespeare’s many plays. you just hadn’t prepared yourself for all of those lines, and you can feel your stress levels rising steadily as you start to drill your lines. but with the stress comes when your lines are falling flat during rehearsal, and you can see professor hader trying to hide his look of frustration as he marks his copy of the script.

that only makes it worse, because now you’re worrying too much about the director’s opinion, and you’re starting to flounder the words all together.

which is when he calls it a day and tells everyone to go home.

“except for y/n. could you stick around for a while?” he asks as everyone else is starting to pack up their things and head out the door. you sigh and nod, praying this isn’t a long talk about the role and the stress levels you’re dealing with right now. you don’t think that you can cry in front of a professor and survive.

he actually just wants to go over the scene and see where you’re trying to go with the character. “i really think you’re a good actor,” he reassures you. “you just look tense. how can we, uh, how can we fix that?”

“i don’t know,” you say. you can hear the stress rolling off your voice, and you try your best to push that back down when you continue. “would you run a few scenes with me and tell me what i need to work on?”

“sure.” he sounds so reassuring and warm, and you think your worries are starting to fall away – just a little. “what do you want to work on? how about act three?”

and it goes incredibly well. he puts everything into his lines (even if they aren’t technically his) and you’re able to actually feel the rhythm of the words. you feel your heart beating against your ribcage as the scene grows heavier, and orlando’s confessions of admiration to rosalind seem a little too real (but that has to be your imagination) for bill to be acting. but then again, he is a pretty good actor.

after that rehearsal, you have a newfound bounce in your step and rehearsals continue to go well.

and even through hell week, you’re doing pretty good.

but then you notice that maybe bill isn’t? like he’s not laughing as much during run throughs, and in his lectures he’s not as prepared. plus, he looks exhausted. so, there’s that.

you decide to knock on the door of his office one day, which is decorated in old movie and play posters, lit only by some lamps emitting a warm glow that covers the room. he has his head on his desk and he doesn’t even try to look professional for you, instead just lifting his head and wiping his face as he asks “what can I do for you, y/n?”

“i just came to check on you,” you admit. “are you doing okay?”

he doesn’t respond for a second, and then he sighs. “are you okay with shutting the door?”

you don’t mind at all, and hear it click shut. you take a seat in one of the chairs near his desk, but not the one that would have you opposite of him. there’s one in a corner that looks comfortable.

you give him a look that says “spill”, and he laughs a little. but he talks, gently and a little reserved, about his stress and the fact that it’s only like the second show he’s directed in the program. so, he’s pretty nervous – but not about you. “you’re doing great,” he makes sure to say. he adds, “you’re always great” just a little quieter.

you feel blush creeping up your cheeks.

the two of you continue the conversation for another twenty minutes or so, and it only ends because you have another lecture to get to.

he looks a little better the rest of hell week. when he doesn’t, you send encouraging smiles his way and thumbs up. he chuckles sometimes; other times he just smiles back.

the run goes incredibly well. you don’t know why you were so worried to begin with, because it was like wearing a glove when you played rosalind. plus, it helped having an orlando that actually looked at you as though he was smitten.

when the last show was over and done with, bows and thanks all done, you plopped down in your dressing room. the other girls in the room were all chatting about whether or not to go to the party that “orlando” (real name jack) was having that night. you planned on going, you just needed to do a few things first.

as the other girls headed out and carpooled away and into town, you headed upstairs and back to bill’s office. the lamps were on, and you could see the tall outline of bill in a suit from the other side of the frosted glass. he looked good in a suit.

you knocked.

when he opened the door, his eyes met your and there was such a joy in his eyes to see you. “the star of the hour!”

“the director of the hour!” you reply as you step inside. you shut the door without thinking about it, and lean up against the sturdy wood. your eyes glance over to his desk, where there’s a small bottle of whiskey opened.

his eyes follow yours over. “do you want one?” bill asks. your shrug serves as a ‘why not?’ and soon enough, he’s pulling a glass out of one of his filing cabinets and handing a drink to you. he’s refilled his own as you toast to a great show.

“hey, i couldn’t have done it without you.” he says.

“and i, you.”

you both take the shot of the amber without much resistance, and it burns the back of your throat while you slam it back onto his desk. “it’s rough, i know.” he sighs.

“no, it’s good.” you say. “why not have another?”

and that’s kind of how you end up having three more glasses? by which point, you can start to feel the heat rising up your neck and in your cheeks, which definitely means there’s a buzz going. getting drunk with a professor? something you never thought you’d do, but here you are.

and as coincidence would have it, the lightbulb from the lamp he has goes out, plunging the room into darkness. you fumble up to try and turn on the real light to the office, but you don’t notice that he’s trying to do the same thing until his hand overlaps yours on the light switch.

neither of you flip it.

you’re too entranced by how warm his hand feels, and how you feel him take a step closer. he’s right behind you now, and you don’t think you have an issue with it.

you turn around to face him, only to find that he’s staring right at you. you don’t notice the missing warmth of his hand anymore, too invested by the fact his chest is rising and falling slowly, but so slow that you think he’s having to control his breathing. his eyes meet yours. you’re going to blame it on the drinks, but you lean up and press your lips to his.

you expect him to pull away, but he does no such thing. instead, he takes the upper hand and kisses you with such a ferocity that your back hits the wood of the door and your feet lift off the floor just a tiny bit. his arms snake around you and up into your hair, pulling at the pinned portions used to hold your wig in place.

your hair tumbles down in curls and he just gathers it back up in his hands as he holds you steady. you’re glad he is, because your legs are weak and feel like jello.

when he finally pulls away to get a good look at you, you’re trying to do the same. even in the dark you can see his face is flushed, and you’ve managed to completely destroy the neat hairstyle he had pulled off for the night. and you’re not sure why that feels so good.

#i mean -- like what a prompt to wake up to??#okay i hAVE SO MANY MORE IDEAS FOR THIS BUT I NEED TO RUN INTO TOWN AND DO SOME ERRANDS.#SO SEND ME MORE IDEAS FOR THIS PLEASE #i realized about 3 posts from the end that i could have gone with the english professor too #because i just read this thing about how he loves reading the classics #but the cavieat was that it was because he never read them for school and therefore didn't have any disdain for them #so like i don't even know if that would work with him as a professor #but we're already bending reality?? so i'm gonna have to come back to that #bill hader x reader #bill hader x you #bill hader #bill hader imagine #bill hader self insert

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luvdsc · 4 years

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hey!! it’s 🧋 anon!! i hope you’re doing well! thank you!! ive got 11 more exams this coming week so i’m a lil 🥲 and then 3 more maybe the week after? exactly! i was so paranoid in the exam like “am i suddenly smart or a grade a idiot?” but it’s comforting to know that others feel the same about tests in general 😅. i’m learning python! i know there are better languages but ehhhh it’s just high school sjdnndn. and thank you about my bias choice sjsjndn. oh no not the 10th floor 😭 i’ve heard horror stories 🤧 i just can’t get over how sweet, funny and gentle he seemed in the jolly interview 🥺. thank you!! for letting me claim 🧋! and i wish i could say the same about not knowing that it was released but i’ve legit been checking since pre-quarantine for a boba emoji bc emojipedia said it would be coming out 😭 i had to start claiming it soon bc i’m NOT letting someone take it from me 😠 (but also! look how cute these are: 🦤🦭🐻‍❄️🐈‍⬛ ). as for my regular boba order, i’m still a lil new to the boba world bc i first (finally) tried it like 2 weeks before quarantine 😭. so everytime i go to this boba place (which is hardly ever for obvious reasons) i try to get something different! bc it all seems so cool!! the place i go to has popping bubbles in different flavours! so i always try to get a different drink with different popping bubbles and regular boba. i think my favourite so far is any drink (maybe mango?) with apple popping bubbles and boba!! but i’ve also been making boba at home for agessss and i usually just make regular tea or green tea with it! 💗

awww 😭 thank you ma’am sksndjdj. i mean, you do give off very motherly energy so i’ll happily accept being a baby 🥺 awww you think my accent is cute? ms cat i’m blushing 😭🥺 oof yeah the exams are not fun™️. but like you said, it does kinda prepare us for them more but the stresssssss is 🥲😭 okay so i’ll answer these in order if that’s okay?

do you still have class going on in between these exams? i assume you mean specifically when we have exams? so unfortunately yeah😭 it depends on the teacher as to wether they’ll let us revise in lesson or if we have to do regular work

do the gcse’s determine your college field of study afterwards? kinda? i mean, colleges have a minimum enterance requrement for courses. although it varies course to course, it’s usually somewhere around the 4-5 (high c-low b) mark. but you can do any course you want at college as long as you have passes in most subjects (usually an emphasis on core subjects (english, maths and science)). (so like, if you didn’t do history in high school, but you wanted to do it in college, then you could do the course as long as you meet the courses’ gcse grade requirements).

is college different from uni? yeah! college is for 2 years and straight after high school. in england you legally have to be in education until you’re 18, so all education is free until then, meaning that college is free! (unless you want to go back to do something else later in life). uni is after college and is optional. that’s where you get things like a bachelor’s, masters and doctoral degree. usually it’s for 3 years although it can vary and you have to pay! we have a student loan system too!

don’t worry about the questions! i enjoy the differences too sjdbbdd. and oooo! here, high school is 11-16/year 7-11, then college is (usually) 16-18/year 12-13 (although we don’t tend to refer to them by years) and uni is (usually) 19-22! (although you tend to go back to that for higher qualifications).

ansnsekndj i’m sorry ms cat 😭 and for me college will start in september of next year! we finish year 11 really early compared to the other years (usually we finish in july (my birthday month!!) but in year 11 we finish the day our last exam happens! which is usually around the end of may to the start of june!) so the holiday is the longest we’ll ever have 😭. that’s one of the reasons i envy americans because the summer breaks are SO long 😭 here, they’re 6 weeks sksndn.

i hope i answered all of your questions ms cat! ily! 🐈‍⬛💗~🧋

hi, lovebug!!! 💓 i’m going to put my answers under the cut since they got pretty long 🤧

i’m doing good!! i got soo much sleep over the weekend and am well rested, so this means tomorrow’s 6 am meeting won’t be too bad 🤧 YOU HAVE ELEVEN EXAMS THIS WEEK???? what on earth 😭 that’s like 2 per day and one day has 3 aksjlhflajkdfaskdjf why don’t they spread them out??? and three more the following week 💀💀 this sounds absolutely brutal, i’m so sorry, lovebug. have you been studying for all of them? LOL yeah, i feel like something is wrong if i can just breeze through a test akjdlhsflask python is a good start and easy to understand! honestly, most codes are pretty similar tbh, so once you get a good grasp of one, it’s easy to learn the other ones :’) do you enjoy cs? 💕 aldskjfaslk yeah, jaehyun does seem like the perfect boyfriend, doesn’t he? 🤧💘 LOL i heard there would be a boba emoji, but i didn’t know if it was true or not, but woooo it’s good to know it’s finally here!! 🥳 and omg the dodo bird and seal emojis 🥺💗 those are all sooo cute!!! aslhfdlkjasd first time trying boba, i just gasped out loud 😦 i’m so happy to hear that you enjoyed it once you tried it though! 💜 omg the popping bubbles are really yummy! and i LOVE mango!!! 🤩 that’s one of my favorite fruits :’) same with apple!! omg you’re making boba at home asdjhfas i’m so jealous 🤧 i haven’t had any boba ever since quarantine started in march 😭 aaaah i loooove green tea and black tea ones :’) have you tried the cheese boba tea before? i thought it wasn’t going to be that good, but i was pleasantly surprised with the taste, like it wasn’t that bad actually. cloud tea is also really nice, too ☁️💞

akjashdlfkja you are the absolute cutest omg 🥺💖 the british accent is sooo nice like wow, you can just be reading me your grocery lists and i’m like 🤩 amazing, perfect, wonderful, never been done before. meanwhile, i’m here with some kind of american valley girl accent LOL 🤧 you shouldn’t be having that much stress at 15 what the heck 😭 i wish they would cut down on the number of exams for you because having 11 in one week is not okay at all ): and oh my goodness, thank you sooo much for giving me such thorough answers to all my questions, honey bee 🥺💛💛✨

ah, we also have classes going on during exams too, so i can relate unfortunately. it really sucks when the teachers continue to teach new material, instead of helping you prepare for the big exams /:

ooo i see!! i think it’s really cool that colleges actually show minimum requirements for acceptance. here, there’s no set criteria at all, so it’s kind of a shot in the dark. they do post the averages of past students’ grades/scores and whatnot, so we have a vague idea of what each school wants, but some schools are weird af, like my friend with a lower gpa and less extracurriculars got into stanford university, meanwhile my one friend who won essentially the youth’s version of the nobel prize and was even acknowledged by obama during his presidency was waitlisted 😬

oh wow, i wish it was like that here :o education is so expensive in the US, like student debt is the norm. do you still have general education classes in college, or is this where you can choose a specific field of study? and university is only 3 years oh my gosh wow, only three years of tuition to pay!! the US could never /: it’s like 70k/year for private universities, 5k-15k/year for public schools in state, and 15k-35k/year for public schools if you’re out of state 💀

the words “college” and “university” are pretty much interchangeable here in the US, so that’s really cool to know! years 6-8 / ages 11-13 (i think that’s the age range?) is considered middle school here, so it’s interesting to see that some of those years are considered high school for you :o

ooo ok, that’s when my school years ended too back in high school! i ended in may and started school again in august. but in uni, i started in september and ended mid june :’) ah yes, our summers are around 2-3 months, and i really miss having that now that i’m out of school 😭 only 6 weeks??? that’s so short omg i’m so sorry ): do you have anything fun planned for your summer? also, do you have prom there? 💕

thank you soooo so much, sweetpea, you answered all of my questions so nicely, and i appreciate you so much 💝💝 ily too, and i hope you have a good week ahead, angel!!! 💖🌷

#asks #anonymous #🧋 anon

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mysterylover123 · 5 years

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BNHA Rewatch: Episode 34 “Gear up for Final Exams”

mysterylover123

I always break this one out around Finals week.

Pictured: Deku and Kacchan in 10 years. (Of course episode 34 opens with the Mineta bit).

Now to count down the Students in Class A from least to most smart:

20TH & 19TH:

Kaminari is constantly frying his brain with his own quirk, and Mina is used to just kinda coasting on her quirk and athletic skills, so they’re both last.

18th

Aw poor Aoyama. Not exactly great at anything.

17th

I dunno why but I thought Sero would be higher.

16th

OMG Tooru is eating lunch with the Dekusquad! Is that where she falls?

15th

Kirishima 15th, same # he placed in the 1st popularity poll oddly enough

14th

The biggest surprise of the bunch - introverted doesn’t =brilliant.

13th

I think I thought Ochaco would be higher on the list. She’s not dumb, per se, just middle of the road.

12th & 11th

I dunno i guess they’re supposed to be middle-of-the-road in everything.

10th

Congrats on the midway points Shoji!

9th

Why.

8th

Oji you do good.

7th

Nice, Kyoka!

6th

Tsu did good too. I didn’t think she was dumb or anything, but she’s not geeky like Momo so it seems surprising.

5th

The third smartest of the Big 3? Wow, Shoto. Always second best, aint’cha?

4th

My best boy is so smart and cute.

3rd

The biggest surprise of the poll - at least, first time around. You assume Bakugo is dumb. He’s not.

2nd

Iida is Class rep, but still second in grades to...

1st

Best of the best! Momo Yaoyorozu I love you.

Aw Shoto noticed she’s feeling down. Let the Todomomo/BKDK arc begin!

Ooh Uraraka looks really mad about Monoma being mean to Iida. (Or maybe it’s supposed to be Deku. I don’t care. Iichaco hc)

So if Monoma is Class 1B Bakugo, who is Kendo? Iida? Deku? Kirishima?

Kendo mentions an older classmate, and my HC is that it was Nejire. She hangs with Nejire in the Culture Fest Arc. I think they’re friends.

LOL This scene is like a rundown of all Bakugo’s most popular ships.

KACCHACO

Because Uraraka knows exactly what Bakugo is thinking.

TODOBAKU

Because Bakugo makes sure to challenge Todoroki too.

KIRIBAKU

Because Kiri talks about him like a spouse.

and of course, BAKUDEKU

PAY ATTENTION TO ME. (More in the corner)

“You’re getting worse than I thought” Gotta love that villain FauxShadowing.

This is how y a do The Power of Friendship right, in my opinion.

Now a rundown of my ships taking the exams/Studying!

Kamijiro!

Todomomo!

BKDK! (Oh my god they’re the two halves of me taking a test)

Kirimina!

We’re just missing Iidaraka

An approximation of my initial response to learning that the next arc would be about pairs of students fighting their teachers: YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TODOMOMO VS AIZAWA?! I’M TOO BLESSED COULD IT POSSIBLY GET ANY BETTER

OH MY GOD

YES IT CAN

BAKUDEKU VS ALL MIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG BEST PREMISE EVER (Or so I thought at the time, not to know that it could be topped. That’s MHA, always topping itself). Can I also just say that the design of the Final Exam arc is brilliant. I noticed this a lot in comparing it with the PL Exam later on, but I personally think of it as Hori’s own License to Print Character Development, and I absolutely approve.

This is probably the arc that changed the most from adaptation in manga to anime - and although I adored this arc in the anime the first time I saw it, there are a few changes in it that I think are actually not for the better. That’s to say, they make for more entertaining television, but they also change the characters.

Firstly, changing it so the tests happen one after another, instead of simultaneously like the manga, means that the characters have different amounts of time to strategize ahead of time. This puts a certain light on the big character moments in the arc, particularly Momo, Shoto, Deku and Kacchan. 4 of the top 5 smartest kids in class, and they don’t even try and strategize beforehand? Made sense in the manga where they had no shot, but in the anime, not so much.

Second, also, Uraraka isn’t really the type to do this, she’s too laid back and Type B, so the anime having her strategize with Deku...I guess it’s a way to throw in some ship tease, but other than that it does nothing for her character arc, or any of the other seemingly random characters they throw into the strategy room along with them. Basically, it’s anime filler, so I don’t really care about any of it except Deku’s observations, since those are from the manga (he observes the others after he and Kacchan pass).

For the record: Manga Order: Todoroki and Momo vs Aizawa, intercut with Midoriya and Bakugo vs All Might; Todomomo first, BKDK second. Deku then observes the other teams for a few chapters as they all pass, with Mineta being last.

So Fight #1 in the anime: Kiri and Sato vs Cementoss. There’s this lady on Youtube who did these really great analyses of the first four fights of the FE arc (never got around to doing the rest) so I’ll put links to her (Excellent!) analyses of those four fights. LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUABh3SiaMs

I’ve noticed that Kirishima is often the first one thrown under the bus in school exercises. This, the Joint Training Arc, the training camp...maybe that’s where his insecurity issues stem from. And with a little tease of Tsuyu and Tokoyami vs Ectoplasm, we leave off.

So yeah, another episode I really enjoy. I gotta tell you guys, the Final Exam arc is definitely a favorite of mine. I actually like it even more in the manga than in the anime, for the reasons I’ve outlined above, but it’s still a blast and I was so happy to see it as the next arc. i wasn’t ready for a new villain-based arc yet, and the sheer premise of BKDK Vs All Might is so amazing, I’m hyped as hell just remembering Episode 37. Oh, speaking of...

BKDK CORNER

We focus in on Deku, contemplating his Great Destiny, as Mina and Kaminari talk about how complacent they are in their chances of success. Cue Kacchan, like an embodiment of Deku’s subconscious, telling them off.

I’ll stop the world and melt with you.

This line has a bunch of different translations, all basically meaning ‘I’ll beat you’. The Shippiest is the English Dub, where he says “I’ll show you how much better I am.” Which plays into his Notice Me Senpai hidden attitude towards Deku. I think it’s a mix of both “I want to beat you” and “I want to impress you”. Deku is quiet here. He’s very quiet about his feelings for Kacchan throughout all of Season 2, but he still quietly demonstrates the importance of that dynamic through his actions in the Sports Fest (inspired by Bakugo) and his Full Cowling (also inspired by Bakugo).

Aw they were already standing together.

I’ll talk more on the symbolism of BKDK fighting All Might in Episode 37, but oh man, this is the best. Like, THE BEST. I love this fight. To Sum: They both want to be All Might, each is half of the whole, and they both have to expel that perfect-imperfect image of him they have to make it. Also, I totally think Aizawa and All Might ship it. “I went with relationships” Yup. You sure did, Aizawa.

BEST GIRL OF THE EP: No new best girls this ep

RANKER: Final Exam Arc Fights

10: MINETA AND SERO VS MIDNIGHT

This one is really dull because Midnight just doesn’t do very much to win the fight. You need the teacher putting up more of an effort!

9. URARAKA AND AOYAMA VS 13

They just...kinda fluked their way into winning.

8. SHOJI AND HAGAKURE VS SNIPE

Poor Snipe, There’s not a lot he can really do in this situation

7. KIRI AND SATO VS CEMENTOSS

Short and quick and to the point.

6. MINA AND KAMINARI VS NEZU

Poor dopes never stood a chance.

5. IIDA AND OJIRO VS POWER LOADER

Short but kinetic and exciting.

4. TSUYU AND TOKOYAMI VS ECTOPLASM

Some good strategy here and Tsuyu did really great.

3. KODA AND JIROU VS PRESENT MIC

Jiro is underrated best girl.

2. TODOROKI AND MOMO VS AIZAWA

A brilliant fight of strategy and character development.

1 BAKUGOU AND DEKU VS ALL MIGHT

How could it be anything else?

#my hero academia #season 2 episode 20 #gear up for final exams #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugō #katsudeku #bakudeku #All Might #momo yaoyorozu #eijiro kirishima #wow i really rambled a lot here #more in this than i put in the last arc put together #you can really tell where my priorities are #huh #gimme that bkdk angst #that dodomomo character development #bring it on

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vergeangst · 6 years

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Here’s a little something based off of this post by @coconut-cluster

Also, credit to @itsme98z for the idea of Emile being the teacher who helps Logan out with his situation.

Warnings: Mild self-hatred, comparing oneself to others, mild anxiety (mentions of fear for grades/being judged), Logan just practically drives himself to a walking being of exhaustion

Word count: 1,871

—————

Logan was one of those students who, to the outside eye, seemed to have his life together. He already had a plan for the future, already knew which college he’d go to and what he wanted to be when he grew up, despite only being a junior in high school. He got pretty good grades and seemed to dress to impress, wearing a tie and either a polo or button-up every day. Others in his classes seemed to look up to him in some ways. Logan, however, never saw himself in the way they did. He seemed to only see those above him.

Oh, how he wished he were them, the ones who graduated with a perfect GPA and got awarded as the valedictorian. Those who got all A’s all the time, who seemed to never have a problem with getting above a 90 on every test and quiz, no matter what class. Those who never knew what it felt like to fail so miserably at something such as grades. Logan tried so hard to be like them. He tried so hard to be perfect like them, though at this point it felt unattainable. He was in only 2 AP classes, as History and English weren’t particularly his best subjects. That alone proved to him that he wasn’t as good as a lot of other students. Even in his best class, Pre AP Calculus, he had a 91 as his grade for this 6 weeks.

His life was average at best. Sure, he had friends and a pretty good home life with a lovely pet and supportive parents, but he couldn’t bare to say anything about his disappointment in himself. He knew he wasn’t alone, but he sure felt like it. Logan knew that there were others, even some in his friend group, that got grades such as C’s and D’s regularly, so it seemed sort of selfish and mean to voice his concerns to them. And he just knew that if he told his parents all they’d do is try to reassure him that no, he was absolutely amazing and he had no reason to worry. But he knew that there would always be someone better than him. He knew he could never compare, no matter how much he tried.

These thoughts had been invading Logan’s mind more often this year now that college was just about a year and a half away. To make it worse, his AP Psychology teacher was leaving at the end of the week. Mrs. Kingswood had been Logan’s favorite teacher from the first day he’d entered her classroom. She had apparently been offered a new, higher-paying job in another part of the state. Logan saw the logic behind it, of course. She would’ve been a fool to turn down such a job, but that didn’t mean he’d miss her any less.

From what he’d heard, the person replacing her was a someone named Dr. Picani and he’d used to be a couples’ therapist, a fairly popular one at that. Logan didn’t have much time to think about him though, too worried about his US History, English, and Physics tests later this week.

—————

Logging into the home access center Monday morning, Logan sighed in relief. He’d made an A on both his English and History tests and a low B on his Physics test, which, with the square root curve, would end up as a low A, thank god. He walked into Psyche, a frown replacing the small smile on his face as he realized that the new teacher would be here today instead of Mrs. Kingswood.

The tardy bell rang just as he’d sat down in his seat, his eyes training on the stranger in the front of the classroom. He was wearing a white button-up with a brown sweater vest and a pink tie that matched perfectly with the shade of pink of his hair.

“Hello,” the man spoke enthusiastically, his bright smile immediately reminding Logan of his friend, Patton. “I am Dr. Emile Picani, but you can just call me Emile. Now, there was supposed to be a lesson today, but I figured that today could be a day for me to learn about all of you lovelies. Let’s start with the roll, now, shall we? Fiona..”

Logan sighed. While it seemed the new teacher was extremely nice, he also seemed to have the energy level of both Roman and Patton combined.

“..gan?.. Is Logan Foster here?”

“Oh, uh, here!” Logan spoke, raising his hand.

Emile smiled at him and Logan offered a small smile back before averting his gaze. He seemed nice enough, and he was respectful of his students’ preferred names and pronouns, from what he’d seen. Maybe this new teacher wouldn’t be so bad..

—————

Emile soon became Logan’s favorite teacher. He’d always leave little encouraging and helpful notes on Logan’s tests, which, to be honest, did help somewhat. Logan knew he wasn’t the only one to get the little comments though. He saw the writing in various colors of ink, pink, green, blue, or purple, scribbled at the top of every other student’s tests as well. That seemed to take away some of the meaning of it, except for when he used Logan’s name in them. Then, he knew the comment was for him and only him.

That was only a small booster for his confidence that lasted until he had to go to his next class, though, then he was filled with dread for the rest of the day. This feeling had become all too common these days. His grades began to slip, despite him doing practically everything he could to keep them up. He’d even taken to studying into the late hours of the night, trying to retain any information he could for upcoming quizzes and tests, going to tutorials for multiple classes a week, and asking his parents for help on his homework.

He still acted as if everything was fine though, because he was still better off than some others, right? So, what was the point in complaining about something if the person you’re complaining to is in a worse situation? That’s how Logan saw it, anyway.

Logan tried as hard as he could to do better, to at least just get back to where he used to be, but how could he do that when he could barely even stay awake during his classes? One day, Emile was passing the latest tests back, and Logan saw that he’d gotten a 75, the lowest grade that was still considered a C. He’d only sighed and looked at the note in the top right, this time written in purple. It read, ‘Logan, please visit my room after school.’ He’d frowned at that, but he assumed it was only a matter of time before one of his teachers questioned him about why he couldn’t seem to keep his grades up.

By the end of the day, all Logan wished to do was go home, curl up in bed, and hide from everyone and everything, but he still had to visit Emile. He plastered a small smile on his face as he walked into the room and toward the teacher, who was sitting at his desk, typing something into the computer.

“Um, h-hi..” Logan silently cursed the way his voice shook as Emile turned to look at him, smiling.

“Ah, Logan.”

“You, um, wanted to see me?”

“Ah, yes, of course. Please, have a seat.” He gestured to the desk nearest to him, which Logan made his way to, slipping off his backpack and sitting down. “Now, I wanted to ask, how much sleep have you been getting?”

That certainly wasn’t what Logan was expecting. “A few hours.. Maybe 2-4 a night.. Why?”

Emile pursed his lips for a moment. “You know how I write notes for each of my students?”

Logan nodded, the corner of his lips twitching up the slightest bit.

“I do that because I want them to know that I care about each and every one of them. I want them to see that they’ve done something that makes me proud, and that I’m here to help if they need it.”

Logan’s eyebrows drew together. Why was Emile telling him this? He knew that he cared for his students. He was one of the only teachers that actively sought out to help his students and acted as if they were actual human beings with different learning patterns. He used examples that students would understand and explained it to those who may not.

“I told you to come see me because I’m worried about you. I see that you’re trying very hard in my class, but you’re lack of sleep and possibly other factors are contributing to difficulties focusing.”

Logan looked down at the lines that squiggled across the wooden desk he sat at, biting his lip as he debated on telling Emile what had truly been troubling him.

“I-I guess my mental health has declined, as my grades have always been a cause of stress for me, but now th-they’re dropping and..” His eyes filled with tears as his voice shook again.

“And?” Emile rolled his chair to sit next to Logan’s desk, offering his hand for logan as a source of comfort.

Logan took the hand as tears began slipping from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. “I’ve tried everything to bring them back up. Even before they started dropping I was trying to bring them up and I feel like it’s impossible to ever even get back to where I was..”

“Oh, Logan.. Here.” He retrieved a box of tissues, from where, Logan had no idea, and set them on the desk. “Have you ever talked to someone about this?” At Logan’s shake of his head, Emile nodded. “I encourage you to try to talk to someone whenever you feel like you need to. It could be a friend or a parent, or it could even be me if you’d like. No matter who it is, I want you to feel safe and less stressed. It seems that you’ve kept your worries to yourself for so long that they’ve manifested into this fear of failing, while also exhausting you to the point where you’ve accepted it, is that right?”

Logan nodded, a metaphorical weight lifting from his chest at someone finally understanding how he felt after so long of keeping it all to himself for fear of being judged. “Yes. Yes that’s..thank you, so-so much.”

“Any time, Logan. And hey, try to get a little bit more sleep tonight, alright?”

Logan smiled, nodding as he stood from the desk. “Alright. I’ll try. Um, could I possibly get a hug?”

“Oh, of course!” Emile stood from his chair to wrap Logan in a warm hug, allowing Logan to pull away when he was ready. Once he did, Emile offered a warm smile and clapped him gently on the shoulder. “Go get ‘em tiger. You got this.”

“Thank you again.” Logan smiled, feeling happier now than he had in a while as he grabbed his backpack and left Emile’s classroom.

This new teacher had really grown on him, hadn’t he?

—————

Alrighty, I hope y'all liked it! I’m currently working on a pretty hefty angst fic involving Virgil and the snake man (not saying his name or speaking of anything that happens for those that could possibly have a trigger linked to the character), so be looking forward to that in the future!

#tw self loathing #tw mental health #my writing #logan sanders #logic sanders #emile picani #lyss writes

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