#im so tired i wanna go back to sleep but i missed dinner last night by sleeping so like now im hungry... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weixuldo · 4 months

Text

Enigma// ch 28

anakin x reader

A/N: Hiii- just so u know this chapter is pretttty long and very plot heavy- just wanna remind yall im not a medical professional lol so sorry any misconstruing of info (i tried my best)!! i hope u all enjoy! i’ll explain more abt the chapter in the notes at the end :)

it’s a month before the baby is due and Anakin gets some news that may alter your future

warnings: cursing, pregnancy, liver failure, hospitals, whump, medical procedures, birth

____________________________

September 26th

It had only been a few weeks since you and Anakin were wed and his health had already deteriorated significantly.

He was now at the point where he was only able to leave the house to go to his weekly check-ups at the hospital.

When he was at home, he tried to be more active and help you out, but you insisted that he take it easy… you wanted him to meet the baby and it seemed that he didn’t have much longer so you didn’t want him to rush the process.

His pain levels changed with every hour, though some days were worse than others. After his episode on your wedding night he had to start setting alarms to remind him to take his pills so that the medicine would be working at the optimal rate it could.

He headed your requests for him to “take it easy” but he still did so much for you (much to your chagrin).

At dinner he would get up from his chair to help you ease into yours, he would run bath’s for you and sneakily clean up the kitchen while you bathed, and he would stay up with you when you couldn’t rest.

You really couldn’t ask for a better husband.

As for you, the baby was really taking a toll on your tired body- Taking care of yourself, your baby, and your husband was a difficult feat.

Somedays you wanted nothing more than to roll over and not wake up, but you were never in those moods for long.

Today was no different- You woke up with sharp pains in your lower back but brushed them off, you had been having them all week. Rolling your eyes, you got out of bed.

Anakin was sitting stiffly on the sofa with one of his mechanical arms wrapped around his side. He was in pain.

“Ani?” you said, barely above a whisper.

He turned his focused gaze towards you and his furrowed brows softened, “Hey Angel- how’d you sleep?” he asked in a strained voice.

You didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched when he tried to shift into a better position.

“Not too well, but I’ll be ok. How about you? Are you alright?” you asked, walking towards him.

He quickly nodded before you came closer, “Yea-’m ok, I just need to take my pills- I’ll get them in a minute” he said through gritted teeth.

“I’ll go get them for you, Ani,” you said, turning towards the kitchen.

Before you knew it, his cool metallic grasp held your arm and made you shiver.

“No!” he exclaimed before clenching his eyes shut and sucking in a sharp breath.

“No, I’m ok- you need to rest baby” he said, attempting to guide you to the couch as he hoisted himself up.

You were about to protest when you felt an uncomfortable sensation in your lower abdomen,

“Shit!” you exclaimed, gripping the armrest on the couch.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, rushing from the kitchen, pills still in his clenched hand.

“Nothing- just a harsh kick” you said, attempting to suppress your grimace.

Anakin didn’t leave.

“I’m ok Ani, really” you said before he nodded and went back to finish taking his meds.

The baby had been moving a lot lately, but your doctor said it was normal for babies to be more active if the mother was under stress (which you definitely were).

____________________________

“I’ll see you in a few” Anakin waved as he headed out the door with his jacket to meet Ben at his car.

Ben and Ahsoka had been taking turns driving Anakin to his weekly appointments since he couldn’t drive himself and it wasn’t safe for you to drive either. They had been a huge help and you would never stop thanking them.

“Bye Ani” you said before kissing him one last time.

The ride to the hospital was mostly silent between Ben and Anakin, save for the radio that played classic 2000’s hits.

“How have you been feeling?” Ben asked as he pulled into the hospital’s parking lot.

“Peachy…” Anakin lamented blankly.

“I’m being serious Anakin,” Ben sighed.

Anakin took a deep breath, “honestly I feel worse by the day but I don’t want to tell her- she already has enough on her plate…”

Ben’s brows furrowed and he stroked his beard.

“Ben, I don’t know if i’m gonna make it to the birth-”

“Don’t think like that Anakin” Ben cut into his friend’s thoughts abruptly.

“You’ve got to have hope”.

Anakin nodded silently before allowing his friend to help him out of the car and into his wheelchair.

Anakin could still walk, but it was better for him to conserve the little energy he had.

Of course, he absolutely hated using his chair- but it was the best option.

The clinic was abnormally warm today and Anakin was getting uncomfortable in his sweatshirt. Ben sat in the chair next to the exam table Anakin was laid up on; head rested against the wall and arms crossed.

“You didn’t have to stay Ben, I’m sure the news is going to be the same as always” Anakin sighed, staring at the ceiling.

Anakin’s usual doctor had just taken a few samples to run labs on; a routine procedure for him- all there was to do was wait around for the results.

“I didn’t want to just leave you in here, It’s perfectly fine Anakin” Ben smiled.

Before Anakin could answer the doctor knocked on the door once more; in his hand a thick pamphlet along with his usual clipboard.

“Mr. Skywalker…We have some unfortunate news…”

Anakin felt his stomach drop- he didn’t expect there to be good news, but he didn’t expect anything other than the ordinary either.

“Yes?” he asked with a waiver in his voice.

“I’m afraid you have developed acute liver failure… This is when a patient develops sudden and severe liver failure without a history of long-term liver disease. In these cases, an urgent liver transplant may be their only life-saving treatment. And from what your labs are showing- a transplant may be your only saving grace, sir”.

Anakin’s eyes closed, he needed a moment to process this.

“Alright, how long do I have?”

The doctor sighed, “There really is no telling sir- but not long…not long at all. Most likely in the next two weeks”.

Ben sat up in his chair, “So what are we going to do for him? There are at least seventy slots before him on the donor list!”

The doctor turned his attention to the bearded man; “We are admitting him to our hepatology and gastrology ward to monitor his condition- we will keep him here as long as we can and try to find a donor that matches his needs.”

“So what I'm hearing is you’re going to stick him in a room and hope he doesn’t die before you can find a plausible liver?” Ben argued but Anakin stopped him.

“It’s fine, Ben,” he said before directing his attention to the doctor, “I don’t care if I’m miserable, please just try to keep me alive long enough to see my wife deliver our baby.”

“Of course”.

______________________

You were lying on the couch scrolling mindlessly through your phone when Ben’s number flashed across your screen.

Odd, he usually wasn’t the one to call.

“Hello?”

Hey- umm, we have some bad news.

“Oh…Oh God-” you sat up immediately.

Anakin’s condition has turned into acute liver failure and he is in the final stages… He was admitted this afternoon and probably won't-

You heard Ben sniffle on the other line as your own tears dared to fall.

-won’t be going home again

You felt your world spinning and you had to brace yourself on the couch arm, “Can I see him?- I want to see him,” you said firmly, rising to your feet.

“No, Visiting hours are over for the day” you could hear the frown in Ben’s voice.

They closed around the time he was finally admitted, so I didn’t even get to see him- but I have his stuff, want me to drop it off?

“U-umm does he need it?” you asked, hoping to delay the blow of reality.

“C-could you just hold onto it for now?”

Of course

“Thank you” you said before hanging up quickly.

You tossed your phone on the other side of the couch and covered your mouth with your hands. This was real- not just hypothetical dates and times… He was really at the end.

As much as you didn’t want to, you just couldn’t hold back your agonizing cries.

Anakin would really be gone soon.

____________

You had a terrible night sleep and felt like absolute shit- not only were you worried about Anakin, you couldn’t get a grasp on the pain you began to feel through your body.

Thankfully Ahsoka was supposed to come over in a while for lunch and to take you to see Anakin at the hospital.

About an hour after you had gotten yourself together for the day, you heard a knock on the door and Ahsoka came in with two to-go boxes.

“Hello!” she said in a sing-songy voice, “How are my two favorite people doing?”.

You weakly laughed, “not two just yet! But it sure does feel like it's gonna be soon” you exhaled as you rose to your feet. Ahsoka always knew how to lighten a mood.

“Are you feeling alright?” she asked, putting the food on the counter.

“I’m not sure, I’ve been feeling off this week- It’s probably just normal pains though” you said, joining her at the table.

“How are you feeling about…” she began.

You bit your lip and attempted to keep your smile.

“I’m… not great, but I’m just hoping for a miracle. I-I just need Anakin to be ok”

Ahsoka nodded and rubbed your upper arms.

“I understand- I.. Just know that if you need anything or help when the baby comes- please never hesitate to ask”.

You hated that she spoke as if his fate were already sealed, but it mostly was. He had been living with a failing liver longer than he would have admitted to (especially evident in the fact that he never asked for the extra labs on his liver because of his past of alcohol abuse) since he just was trying to ignore the facts until they just went away (they never did).

“Thank you Ahsoka, It really means a lot” you said, before you felt another sharp pain in your lower back.

“Woah, are you sure you’re alright?”

You nodded with gritted teeth, “Yea, It’s fine- Probably just slept wrong”

“You sure? I can take you to the clinic if you’re worried” she offered.

“No no, I think I’m fine- let's eat!”

The boxes had just been opened when you felt another jolt of pain shoot up your spine. You shut your eyes and clenched your jaw.

Ahsoka sprung to your side and placed a gentle hand on your back, “Hey! Are you sure your-”

She was cut off by your labored breathing; your chest heaved as you slid your chair back.

“I-I think I just need some… fresh.. A-air” you said, getting to your feet.

She shook her head, “I think you should stay seated” she coached.

Your world was spinning as pains washed over your body; you focused on your breathing and eventually got yourself to a decently normal cadence.

You got up to head to the bathroom to splash some cool water on your face when you had to grip onto the sofa for support. You let out a painful cry and your eyes widened when you felt something wet running down your leg.

Your water broke.

“A-Ahsok-” you stuttered; you had barely processed what just happened when she was already by your side.

“Ok- Ok, umm- Just breathe- I’m gonna get you to the hospital! It’s gonna be ok” she said, trying her best to stay calm.

You nodded and closed your eyes to focus on controlling your breathing- This was really happening.

__________________

Ben sat in the big blue hospital-grade chair beside the exam table; he was reading a history book Satine had gotten for him on wars of the past.

Anakin was lying wide awake on the uncomfortable exam table; currently he was occupied with the small cracks in the ceiling- at least he was keeping his mind busy.

Soon enough another physician came in to observe him; Anakin was just about over random people coming in and out of his room like a revolving fucking door! Why did so many doctors need to come in to tell him the same verdict? Wasn’t hearing that he was “gonna to die soon” once enough?!

They began talking him through what the last few days may look like and if Anakin needed someone to talk through his emotions with (He thought that was stupid- why have someone else tell him how to read his own fucking emotions?) .

The doctor left to grab something (again) and Anakin turned to Ben.

“Do you think Snipps is bringing y/n over soon?” he asked tiredly.

Ben looked up and shrugged, “I assume so, they probably just got a late start”.

The doctor came back in and began to drone on about some other “experimental treatments” when Ben’s phone started to ring. He excused himself and went into the hallway- it was Ahsoka.

“Hello?”

Hey Ben! So um… we’re not gonna make it to visit Anakin today- y/n’s water just broke and we’re on the way to the hospital now.

“Maker! She isn’t due for another four weeks!” Ben exclaimed.

I know- Skyguy wasn’t picking up. Just let him know what's going on. I’m pretty sure she wont be up there to see him anytime soon though.

“Alright, I’ll let him know, be safe- And good luck y/n” Ben said before hanging up and swiftly making his way back to Anakin’s room.

Ben quietly knocked but urgently entered the room; the doctor and Anakin’s focus both shifted to him.

“Ben, You alright?” Anakin asked- he could read the worry all over his friend’s face.

“Anakin… y/n has just gone into labor”

Anakin’s eyes widened and he sat up abruptly before grabbing his side in pain.

“Woah, take it easy Mr. Skywalker” the doctor informed, placing his steady hands on his patient’s shoulders.

“I need to see her!” Anakin exclaimed, trying to push himself up.

“No, you don’t need to overexert yourself, you’ll just worsen your condition”

“Doc, she’s a month early- I need to be there for my wife” Anakin protested, pushing himself off of the examination table.

Thankfully he was already wearing his prosthetics today; even though it wasn’t recommended he was allowed to wear them some days (much to his physician’s displeasure).

The doctor ignored his protests and kept him sat.

“Sir I cannot let you leave, you are my patient and I need to look after your wellbeing and exhausting yourself by going all the way to the maternity ward is not in the interest of your physical wellbeing!”

Anakin’s gaze hardened and he looked over the physician’s shoulder to Ben, “Is she alright Ben? Maker-Please tell me she’s alright” he begged.

Ben gave a sympathetic look before sighing, “I’m not sure, Ahsoka didn’t give many details”.

Anakin threw his head back onto the plush table and let out a defeated sigh.

“I am very sorry Mr. Skywalker, but I need to continue your exami-”

Anakin shot up again, this time with all of his strength. His eyes conveyed desperation, sadness, anger, and worry as he wrapped a mechanical hand around the doctor’s wrist.

“We both know my condition is a death sentence- unless I miraculously get a donor in the next week, I’m not gonna see the end of the month. So hear me when I tell you I will not sit idly by when my wife is scared and alone giving birth for the first time. I will not leave her feeling like i didn’t care” Anakin physically shook with emotion.

Ben came to his side and tried to talk him down; even if he disagreed with the doctor’s order, he was the more level headed between himself and his friend.

“She is my wife and I will be by her side to see our baby born- even if it’s the last thing I do, at least I was there with her and left her knowing I'd come when she needed me.”

The doctor’s own eyes began to water once he was released from Anakin’s hold, but even so he shook his head, “I-i’m truly sorry sir, B-but I do not-”

“I could drop dead any fucking day! Can you not just let a dying man be there for his wife?! For Goddsake, my wife is delivering four weeks early?! She’s probably terrified down there!” he practically screamed.

The doctor looked to Ben for guidance but only found the bearded man casting a disapproving gaze his way.

“He will find a way to leave regardless of what you prescribe” Ben warned.

Finally, after a moment of contemplation, the doctor nodded and shortly left the room, “I hope you realize, this is not a wise decision- I will have to refer you to a different physician”.

Anakin’s eye twitched at the man’s words, it was basically a “fuck you” to him. But he didn’t care, what he cared about was getting to you.

____________________________

Ahsoka drove like a madwoman to get you here quickly; once you arrived you were taken from the emergency room to the maternity ward. Ahsoka wasn’t allowed to come into the room with you, so she was left pacing the waiting room nervously.

Another wave of searing pain washed through your body as you clenched your eyes shut. You bit back a scream and clawed at the hospital grade mattress beneath you.

Maker, you were never doing this shit again.

Your whole body trembled as you let out a strained cry. You weren’t due for another month- why was this happening now? Was the baby going to be alright?

After another cry you managed to get one of your many questions out.

“W-Where’s Ana-anakin?” you huffed out to a nurse (who definitely had no idea who you were talking about).

“What’s that darling?” she asked, trying to be as comforting as she could.

“My h-husband, Wh-where is he” you asked desperately- your mind was in a whirr and you were not thinking straight.

“Does he h-have his legs on? Or d-does he need my help-”

“I’m sorry mam, I don't understand?” she offered.

You were about to speak again when another sharp pain nipped at your lower back; you groaned and pushed your head back into the pillows behind you.

What if Anakin wasn't coming, what if something happened?

You trembled in pain and fear- this was all new to you and you were alone…

After what felt like ages another midwife came in to assist- she seemed more experienced than the first one; once she saw your scared state she immediately went to comfort you.

“ts all gonna be alright, Hon. We’re gonna fix you up with some pain meds and make you as comfortable as we can- The baby ‘s gonna be alright ‘n your husband’s comin’ soon- just try to breathe'' she spoke with a warm southern accent that almost made it seem like what she was saying was true.

You nodded and took one of the ice chips she offered you. The cold chip felt nice as it melted in your mouth; they provided some much needed cooling from your uncomfortably warm body.

Your eyes were soon shut tightly from pain, “I-I don’t th-think I can do t-this” you cried as you braced for another rush of pain.

In the moment the sensation reached its peak, the door burst open making you gasp; you couldn’t help the overwhelming sobs once you realized who it was.

Anakin- he was standing tall and covered in the required scrubs; they fit him terribly and one of the other midwives had to hold them up as he stumbled towards you.

“Angel!” he called once he was by your side.

“Ani! You came?!” you exclaimed, desperately reaching for him.

“Of course I came, Sweetheart, I wouldn’t miss it for the world” (and that was really true).

“A-are you going t-to be ok? What about your l-liver?” you fretted over your husband’s condition.

“I’ve got it taken care of, just focus on breathing for me, ok?” The calmness of his voice helped your worries subside.

Your eyes opened just enough to look over his worried features before you screwed them shut once more. You pushed your head into the pillow as your back arched in pain.

“A-Ani” you cried as you grabbed onto one of his mechanical hands; good thing he couldn’t actually feel your grip because it definitely would have pained him.

“Shhh- it's all going to be ok princess. you’ve got it” he said sweetly as he ran his other hand over your hair.

“I-I’m sorry Ani” you sobbed.

“No, no! What do you have to apologize for? Nothing baby- nothing” he said, pressing kisses to your temple.

“The baby wasn’t due for f-four more weeks- I put them in d-danger”.

“What? No, they just wanted to come see us early- that's all. You’ve done nothing wrong” he tried to smile.

He was a good actor, but you knew he was hurting just as much as you were.

With what little strength you had left, you pulled him closer; “I-I’m scared…What if the baby doesn't make it Ani?”.

His brows upturned sadly, “Oh no, baby- don’t think about that now, you’re doing great and so is the baby”.

Somehow his words calmed you (even though he wasn’t the least bit certified to be telling you these things).

You nodded and asked him to hold you closer and he did the best he could.

You fell in and out of consciousness but were still able to follow the midwife's instructions. The whole time Anakin stayed by your side comforting you (and hiding his own pain from you).

“She's losing a lot of blood” a midwife relayed to the doctor, who then barked some orders to another nurse.

“Did you hook her up to the IV?” one of them asked.

“What?! What’s happening?” Anakin demanded, walking closer to the nurse at your feet.

“We’ll have to do an emergency C-section” the midwife said to the doctor, ignoring Anakin’s worried questions.

“Is she going to be alrig-” Anakin started.

“Sir, Please back away- we’re handling it.”

He was about to respond when you tugged weakly on his arm begging for him to come back. He bit his lower lip and quickly made his way back to you. Your eyes were unfocused and glassy.

“A-ani, I can’t- I c-can't-” you croaked out as your body began to wear down.

“It’s going to be ok Angel. It’s going to be alright, just stay awake for me” he repeated as he brushed the loose strands of hair out of your face.

After a particularly painful contraction you fell limp and Anakin’s heart skipped a beat.

“Y/n!? Baby, please wake up for me- please” he begged as he caressed your flushed face.

He felt his tears falling- he never thought he would be the one to lose you.

After a moment your eyes hazily opened and closed; Anakin’s pulse was racing as he attempted to gain your attention.

“That’s it Sweetheart! Just try to stay awake for me please” he cried as your eyes finally landed on him (thought they were still unfocused).

“A-Ani-”

A midwife began to unlock the wheels of the hospital bed; an odd feeling washed over Anakin and he stood still for a moment gripping onto the bed rail for support.

“Sir, Please move your hand off of the bed” the nurse sternly asked.

No response.

“We need to take her into surgery right now. Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to-”

Anakin collapsed onto the floor with a thud- the nurses initially figured he passed out from the stress of watching his wife give birth, but once he started clawing at his side in agony they realized it was something else.

You heard his painful howls and snapped back into reality (just for a moment).

“Anakin!” you exclaimed as you watched him struggle on the floor beside you.

“Sir- Sir what’s wrong?” one attempted to ask.

“He’s in the last stages of liver failure- He needs a doctor!” you cried.

All you wanted was to go to him, but your own pain was immobilizing. The next moments were a blur; first they wheeled you down to the operation room- you cried on the way, begging for them to let you stay with Anakin (you were not in the right head space to be making any decisions).

Anakin was left on the floor as they took you out of the room- was he ever going to see you again? He felt himself slipping away…

He felt the darkness clouding his vision.

He felt…

***

a/n: it’s getting hella juicy… i hope this chapter wasn’t too everywhere haha… i’m not gonna lie idk that much abt liver failure but i do know abt acute liver failure. the next chapter is gonna have some medical stuff too and some of it is pretty rare, ngl (mostly pertaining to the birth) just cause im a sucker for drama- so sorry if it’s not the most realistic (everything i’ll write in the next chapter is possible tho/ just in very specific circumstances hahah)

Also i’m not the best with timelines and not entirely sure how long some of these medical things last… oops- that all being said!!! thank you all for the support and interest in my story :)

taglist : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana @imarimone12 @fallinlovewithevil @sythe-skywalker

#anakin x reader #enigma fic #enigma #star wars x reader #vader #anakin #anakin x you #star wars #darth vader fic #anakin star wars #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker x female reader #modern anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #sw x reader #starwars hcs #modern star wars #whump

113 notes · View notes

chaeruls · 2 years

Text

february 14th 2019

that was the day when everything starts. but like all stories, it always has an end--and sadly... this one ends too soon. i guess.

i guess i owe u a lot. explanations, thoughts, kind words, i could've treat u better, for all i know... i tried. i don't know why i write this or what i'm going to write for that matter. i'm...so sad, let's just put it that way. but anyway, i guess i'm just gonna. because when i'm sad and i can't really put it through my lips, i'm just gonna put it here with my fingers.

i miss u.

back in 2019 at feb 14th (or 13th actually), i wasn't sure how it's gonna go. it's just like some other day, im just trying to suck out all the life could give me, yet i'm throwing it all away like i always did. there's something different though, i know how it started but i don't really wanna put it here. i guess we both know. we were just fooling around (virtually anyway), didn't realize that it's just gonna get so real soon. i didn't really remember what i had for dinner that made me filled with courage to knock at your door that night. i didn't even know how it's gonna end. well now we know, it ends badly :') just 3 yrs later.

it was beautiful, that night, kind of funny too. always funny to remember that i had to sit on ur front door waiting bcs u were trying to look beautiful. i guess u think i didn't know but i did anyway. well i'm not stupid, not really though... i'm so stupid in many other ways. but somehow you always try to make me understand about things. lots of things. i guess i'm not so smart, not so cool either. you made me feel like im cool, knowing great songs that i haven't yet known. you made me a playlist with that blue heart as a title. in fact i'm listening to songs from that playlist while i'm writing this. i'm not so good with this. this...situation. i always fuck up everything. i can't control myself. i'm just...too sad. i know it doesn't justify every words that may have hurt you.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i have been so horrible. i tried. but it's just... so overwhelming right now and once again i know it doesn't justify everything every word i said that have hurt u. it's happened. it always happened like that. something's upsetting, getting mad, and just crying for days after. that is just my days since 2017 i guess. not so really no but yeah, most days are just like that. not so much though, when i'm with u. idk why i'm not with u right now, but my other half feel like that i somehow know. i know u deserve better anyway.

sigh......i'm tired. i actually wanted to just recap everything. every moments with you. all the good times, the bad times and how we overcame it. but i just......can't. my head's spinning too fast. i can barely eat or even sleep. idk how. idk how you are but i hope you are doing much better.

i guess i miss u. or not guessing but yea i actually miss you. im just here singing along to the playlist just to hold my tears off of my face. looking to the painting you gave me on our anniversary. fuck really. fuck my life. when i told you i'm done. i really am done, not with u actually but with my life. i'm just putting it all on u, and i'm so soooo sorry. i know sorry doesn't mean a thing but...sigh idk.

i'm just recounting every moments we had. the last we kissed, the last we hugged. fuck really fuck myself. fuck me. i can't. i'm sorry. i miss u but i know what i did was horrible, and i know i do really really know that i don't deserve u. i feel bad you know. feeling bad because i can't be the guy you wanted. i can't be the guy you dreamed of. i can't be someone you seek help to, i can't be normal like most guys in their 26s. and maybe i'm selfish, to think that i have to let my heartbreak just because i think you're better off without me. because i was feeling bad about it. i know you'd accept me, but i can't accept myself. i just wanna be gone forever from everyone. i haven't even talk to anyone. i haven't check my phone for anything else other than some stupid games and netflix. i feel like im just disappointing everyone. i just wanna be not here i guess. more so right now. i can't stop hurting myself. i'm sorry. i'm sorry i really am i can't stop crying i'm sorry i have to stop writing this. i can't.

i hope you be well always. i loved u with all my heart, i never lied about being in love with you, i never lied when i say i missed u, but i guess i'm just gonna lie to u now that i don't love you. i'm sorry.

wish all the good things in life for you, putri, my putri.

june 1st 2022, c.s

#fmp

0 notes

the-little-crow · 2 years

Text

I’m turning 18 in a few days and like, woah is that a thing that’s happening. I literally forgot what day it was, and when my dad brought it up I had no damn idea why he was asking me what we should do for dinner on a specific night I don’t care about.

I don’t wanna be an adult. I missed two years of being a kid, more than that really, not to mention all the shit I’ve had to deal with in the last year alone. I still sleep with stuffed animals, I still hide under my blanket at night, I’m still afraid of the dark. It doesn’t feel like I’m going to be an adult, it feels like I’m gonna be a kid who’s given more than she can handle for the thousandth time and will just have to deal with it on her own again. I was really looking forward to all this, and now I’m not even sure if I’m “grown up” enough to be considered an adult. Im getting back into my childhood hyperfixations, trying to hold them close to my heart and focus on them so I can try to squeeze just a little more joy out of those pages. I want to stop having to be afraid of getting sick all the time, wondering why I’m exhausted and in pain.

There was a lot I was looking forward to, but with graduation and all that coming up, I kinda just want to cry. I never really liked school, but I’m gonna miss my art class, I’m gonna miss acting out scenes in our books for English. It’s this massive change based on something I have no control over and it just… I don’t want to be a grown up. I’ve already dealt with enough, had to be the strong one through so much bullshit. I just, I wanna rest for my birthday. I wanna curl up in bed and sleep and forget that bad things can happen. I wanna watch movies that make me laugh and cry and make my chest clench even though I know what’s going to happen because I’ve seen it a thousand times.

I don’t know, this kind of got out of hand. I’m just tired, and kinda sad. Guess I just wanted to write it all out, y’know? See if anyone feels the same. I think I’m gonna go lay down for a while, see if that makes me feel any better.

Take care of yourselves loves, it’s hard being human <3

1 note · View note

xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

Text

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don’t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

3K notes · View notes

yslkook · 3 years

Text

UNFUCKWITABLE (9)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook convinces you to take a staycation with him for a few days (a week).

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, oc and jk discuss their unprotected sex practices, vomiting, some jealous jk, mild exhibitionism, fingers in oc's mouth grinding, making out, oral (m), titjob

word count: 7k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. also...cant believe mom manifested into butter jk im in pain

****************************************

Jungkook is unsurprised to enter your home with the key you’d given him the other week and find it completely empty. You’ve been working early mornings and incredibly late nights for the last week and a half, and he can tell it’s beginning to take a toll on you. The first sign that you were beginning to wear down was when you had skipped dinner in favor of sleeping. The second was when you had snapped at him in irritation and then immediately cried over hurting his feelings.

He can think of about a dozen other things, including the even more pronounced bags under your eyes. You’ve always had dark circles under your eyes naturally from hyperpigmentation but these days, not even concealer can help you mask them.

In fact, the reason that you’d even given him a key was because you felt like work was taking over your entire life. You’d hardly had a chance to see anyone who wasn’t a work colleague, and you just missed Jungkook. At least this way, you could wake up and go to bed with him.

You had only been calling Jungkook your partner just shy of four months, and he had a key to your home. Perhaps it was fast for other people, but with him, it felt right. So he keeps a copy of your keys on his lanyard- it’s possibly his most prized possession right now. Jungkook usually only comes when you ask him to, he’s been staying at your place for the last week because of how tired and busy you were.

Usually you stop by the tattoo parlor at least once or twice a week, but you have been sparse because of work. So he’s here, in your home without you. It felt strange the first few times he’d been here without you, but then he started leaving little pockets of himself- his shoes next to yours, his hair product on your shelf, and his two of his jackets hanging near yours in the closet. He’d even purchased a new plant to keep on your windowsill in your living room (which you take turns dutifully watering and making sure she gets enough sunlight).

It’s all very domestic. He had jokingly told you not to expose him to your shared friends, specifically Mina and Mei. To which you had rolled your eyes.

Though some small, very small, part of him wonders if the magic will fade away soon. Considering how fast you both are moving both physically into your home and in your relationship.

It’s only been a few months, and you both were incredibly comfortable with the idea of unprotected sex- after all, Jungkook always pulls out in time. Until, of course, you’d had a pregnancy scare. Hoseok and Yoongi, ever the pair of realists, had scolded him when Jungkook had revealed that you both hardly ever used any protection-

“Are you trying to knock her up? Is that it? You both ready to potentially be parents?” Yoongi says mildly as he polishes off his wine, looking at Jungkook expectantly. Jungkook’s cheeks burn.

“No, I’m not trying to knock her up and no, nobody’s trying to be parents-”

“You both are lucky you haven’t knocked her up already,” Hoseok says, with more heat in his voice, “You both are fucking stupid, but you especially.” He even smacks the back of his head with the book in his hands and Jungkook glares at him.

“Hey, my pull out game has always been strong, and I’m serious about her. We wouldn’t fuck raw if-”

“Oh, yes, then we definitely have nothing to worry about,” Yoongi says, “Keep it moving, Hobi.

“Talk to her about it, or else,” Hoseok threatens, “I don’t wanna hear about another pregnancy scare because you’re both idiots.”

“I know, I know,” Jungkook relents, “We’ve been talking about it. It just sucks that birth control can fuck up a woman’s body like that, you know? Mood changes and appetite changes, nausea and everything…”

“You could always get a vasectomy,” Yoongi says bluntly.

“Mei said the same thing. She was way more mean about it, though. Told me she’d cut my balls off if I didn’t get my shit together.”

“I don’t blame her, considering what a mess you both were last month.”

“We were not a mess!”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so stressed ever in your life, not even when your first bike got run over by a car. Or when your tattoo got infected three consecutive times. And I’ve never seen her cry so much before.”

“Alright, maybe we’re a little bit of a mess.”

In the end, you and Jungkook had both decided that yes, condoms were probably a good idea. Considering the pregnancy scare you had last month, you both were on edge and a little paranoid. Jungkook hadn’t even mentioned the idea of you taking birth control or getting an IUD, knowing that your last few experiences with the former were unpleasant-

“I can get a vasectomy, you know. In fact, Yoongi suggested it,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly but your jaw drops.

“Jungkook. I don’t think vasectomies are reversible like that. Think about what you’re saying,” You murmur, “I’m touched you’d consider a surgical procedure so I don’t have to take birth control, but what if-”

“I looked it up, they can be reversed-”

“But Jungkook! You don’t know that, what if you want to have kids later and you can’t because you decided on a fucking whim to get a vasectomy? It’s still trauma on your body! You can’t just snip snap, snip snap your vas deferens tube whenever you please. At least with birth control you can start and stop it, even if that’s not a completely benign process.”

Jungkook looks at you long and hard, his tongue poking his cheek and you sigh. “But I don’t-”

“Honey. I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” You murmur, squeezing his hands in yours, “But we’re both being stupid. We’re both acting like condoms don’t exist. Why don’t we start with condoms and then think about getting your tubes tied or me getting an IUD?”

“You spoiled me,” Jungkook complains dramatically and drops his head to your chest, “With your pussy. I’m spoiled now.”

“Shut up.”

And so now, a box of condoms sits in the drawer of your nightstand and you’ve taken to bringing a few with you in your purse as well (and so does he). You’d been far more nervous buying condoms than you’d ever been of buying anything else, and Jungkook had only cockily grinned at you.

Today’s Friday and it’s the day of your deadline. Meaning that you’d hopefully be home soon and be his for the rest of the weekend. He fully plans on getting you to relax and stay in for the majority of the weekend, so that you can catch up on sleep.

But then you come home past dinner (you had sent him a text earlier telling him that you were going to be late. He knows your mood is sour- you had been in a foul mood all week, and the fact that you’re so close to being home but so far just makes it worse). You come home with an empty belly, a weary mind and wetness along your lash line. Climbing into bed next to him, you circle your arms around his waist and cry tiredly into his chest.

“J-Jungkook,” You hiccup, “I’m so tired, they kept me s-so late today but it’s done. Everything is finished-”

“Oh, baby,” He sighs, rubbing your back soothingly, “It’s okay. We can just sleep now. You should take a few days off next week, baby.”

“I don’t know…” But your eyes are wide and considering it.

“You’ve been running on empty all week,” Jungkook points out, “For longer than that. Your job can handle two or three days without you while you recharge. Text your boss, baby. You need to rest, too.”

He nudges your cheek with his nose and you hum in agreement. “Okay. Five day weekend? Sure you won’t get tired of me?” You murmur and laugh when he squeezes your waist.

“We can make it a staycation.”

And you’re already texting your boss, telling her that you needed a few days off next week. She gives you a thumbs up and encourages you to rest up, making it a point to recognize how hard you’ve been working. She even suggests you take the full week off, which you jump at and Jungkook only grins at you.

“My brilliant girl, charming her way into a full week off.”

You swat his hand away and hide your burning but satisfied face in his chest. “Yeah, your bad habits are rubbing off on me.”

“Oh, that’s not the only thing rubbing off on you,” Jungkook says wickedly and pushes his hips into yours, earning a fierce pinch to his bare waist.

“Hush, I’m trying to nap,” You mumble, your voice muffled. Without warning, you lick his neck and bite lightly at the base of his neck, ignoring his soft yelp. He doesn’t have a chance to question you on what that was, as you’re already falling asleep.

You’ve always thought from the beginning, even when you and Jungkook were just friends, that he was an ass man. You’ve caught him staring at your ass many, many times- in jeans, in a dress, in a skirt. And now that you both are officially together, he spends any and every moment he can with a hand on your ass. Casually, when you both walk side by side. And purposefully when you’re both just in his bed or on your couch. His hand is a well known presence on your ass, not that you’re complaining.

One of Jungkook’s favorite places to nap is on your ass, with his cheek pressed into you and one hand firmly gripping your ass. He also likes laying with his head on your lap. But his favorite place to nap is with his head buried in your chest, specifically buried in between your tits. He is currently analyzing his hypothesis that your right tit is smaller than your left, a thought he’s had for a while now, but needs further samples of evidence to properly assess.

But he’s always had an affinity for your tits, whether you’re blissfully unaware of it or not. You don’t notice it not really- you like any and all of his touches on any inch of your skin, as you’ve told him many times before. Especially when he holds you close next to him or under him and you feel protected, surrounded by only him.

He holds you, looks at you as if you’re as soothing as the sea and as bright as a supernova. And yet, the universe is contained in his big, doe eyes.

But really, at the end of the day, it’s an affinity for you. Jungkook loves every part of your mind, body, and soul, and he thinks he has for a long time. His heart has been tangled with yours since the first time he had seen you years ago at Hobi’s surprise birthday party that you had planned. Jungkook is sure that when he had seen you with a homemade red velvet cheesecake with a ‘Happy Birthday Hobi <3’ written perfectly in red icing in your arms, a silly party hat on your head, and a shy, beaming smile on your lips, he had been magnetized to your center of gravity from then on.

But even then, he had only hovered. Barely introducing himself, if it weren’t for Mina and Mei. He thought he had known girls like you- girls who baked cakes, planned elaborate birthday parties for their friends and wore flowery dresses liked other predictable people. It’s another one of his hypotheses (which has been clearly debunked)- but by now, he knows not to be so judgmental of others.

But he doesn’t dwell on that for long. Even the first time he met you, right after he had introduced himself to you and you had stared at him with starstruck eyes and stammered a quiet ‘hello’ in return, Sora had cornered him. And told him to back off from right then, that you were off limits. That you’d never be interested in a guy like him, so to not even spend a second in his stupid little mind even entertaining the ridiculous idea.

So he backed off subconsciously, thinking it wasn’t worth it to even know you as a friend. He’d convinced himself that it was too much trouble, and Jungkook has always been an easygoing kind of guy in most instances. After all, your best friend would know you best, right? And really, what did he care? As the saying goes, there were about a million other fish in the sea.

However. Even then, with each word uttered between you both, with each laugh that he pulled from your soft mouth, he couldn’t help the reluctant fondness for you that began to bloom. You had surprised him every few months after that, just saying hello at events that you were both present at and asking how he was. With that stupidly beautiful smile and those bright, shy eyes.

You were a smart, kind woman, always remembering details about others. And he was no exception.

That was years ago. He’s known you since your third year at university, hanging by a thread just outside your orbit. But this is now.

This is now, and your lips are against his neck, your chest pressed to his. You climb into his lap haphazardly, nearly knocking your mug off of the coffee table. You both have only just woken up and stumbled out of bed for coffee and breakfast. You had combed the tangles out of his bedhead with his head in your lap, but now sleepiness has washed away and you’re tugging at his oversized shirt.

You promptly bite him, right where his neck tattoo starts and ends. Jungkook meets your eyes with an incredulous, breathy laugh. “What’s gotten into you?” He murmurs, palming your chest from under your shirt.

“Nothing. You just have a very biteable neck, I told you,” You say, resuming your inspection of the vein next to his tattoo, “What a juicy jugular vein-”

Jungkook holds your wrist and flips you so that your back is on the couch. “My sexy vampire girlfriend. Love when she starts talking about my jugular vein.”

“Watch out, I might drink from it. You never know,” You giggle with a wink, squirming in his grip.

“You can do whatever you want,” Jungkook murmurs but then an idea that has been planted in his head for weeks now spills from his lips without him meaning to, “I wanna fuck your tits, baby.”

Your eyes go comically wide, mimicking Jungkook’s own. His cheeks are a little pink from his abrupt confession as silence falls between you both.

“That’s really interesting,” You muse.

“Is it?” He asks, feeling a little lightheaded. You tug a little at his purple locks to pull him down to you.

“Yeah. Always thought you liked booty. And legs,” You shrug, “But I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised.”

Jungkook’s throat is too dry for him to reply coherently. But he finds his voice after you give him a reassuring smile, “Uh, when it’s you, I like everything.”

“Me too. When it’s you, I like everything,” You mumble, heat rising in your cheeks, “And uh… you can. Do that I mean.”

“Do what?” He asks teasingly, tilting his head to the side.

“Don’t play dumb,” You whine, shoving his shoulder.

“C’mon say it,” Jungkook jeers, not unkindly, “Put your big girl panties on.”

“I hate you,” You sigh dramatically, “Fine. You can fuck my tits, if you so desire.” His face splits into a grin as he thumbs your chin and ducks his head into your neck. He playfully nips at your skin, murmuring that he’s just giving you a taste of your own medicine, but you feel his half hard cock pressing against your thigh.

The image of his cock wet and slick between your tits is now imprinted in your mind, and when both of you want something, you’ll surely get it.

Despite your eagerness of making Jungkook’s wish a reality, neither of you have had the chance for your usual shenanigans just yet. You still have quite a few days of your staycation left, so you won’t rush it. You had spent most of the first two days sleeping, cuddling, spooning, eating and lots and lots of slow sex.

You think you can count on one hand the number of times you’ve left your bed. Jungkook has been nothing short of wonderful, bringing you food (just this once, you hate eating while in bed), giving you shoulder rubs and booty rubs without you asking. Your favorite ice cream is in your freezer. Life is good.

His shirt hangs off of your shoulder and you’re too lazy to fix it. In fact you’re too lazy for pajama bottoms, only settling on your favorite pair of comfortable panties (nothing flashy. Just a standard black cotton panty) to wear under your shirt. One might even call them granny panties or whatever, but lace was uncomfortable on your skin. Lace and thongs are for very, very special occasions (hardly if ever) and you are in the comfort of your own home. You’ll be comfortable if it’s the last thing you do.

In fact, you’re too lazy to even raise your head to pucker your lips for a kiss from Jungkook. You only open your arms and hum, as if he’s supposed to telepathically know what you want from him. But he does, and he flops onto you once he tugs his shirt off. Jungkook’s face remains buried in your chest as you gently rub his scalp.

He hums happily, nearly purring at your touch and shoves himself closer into your hold. You can’t believe this man, the man who mildly intimidated you for years, is now in your arms and purring like a baby kitten. He’s admitted a few times that his scalp has been irritated and inflamed ever since he dyed his hair purple. One of his favorite things is to lay in your lap while you massage a mix of coconut oil and peppermint oil into his scalp.

He looks up at you, warm heat blazing in his eyes. You’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about but he palms your pussy from under your shirt- your still swollen, puffy pussy from the four times he’s made you cum already.

“Can I help you, Jungkook,” You ask flatly, but your poker face breaks when he dots you with kisses up and down your thighs.

“Yeah, fuck,” Jungkook groans, voice slowing to a whine, “I’m still hard, baby, fuck. Help me.”

“How are you still hard,” You wonder with a grin, “Damn, Jeon. You must really like me, huh?”

“If that wasn’t obvious then I’m clearly not doing something right here,” He breathes into your skin.

“Gimme a kiss then,” You murmur, pushing his long hair behind his ear. His eyebrow piercing glints in the light of your bedroom and you trace it gently with your fingertips. Jungkook desperately pushes his lips to yours, parting your lips easily and slipping his tongue into your mouth. He kisses your teeth hungrily, strands of his hair brushing against your cheeks.

His hips roll into yours impatiently, hands already pawing at your shirt. The air in your bedroom is suddenly so stifling, thick and nearly choking you both with the intensity of your desire. You just want him to feel good with you.

“Jungkook,” You say softly with warm cheeks, “You can use me, however you want. Tell me what you want, bunny.”

He lets out a quiet gasp, his eyes bright and wide.

You’re both on the same page, because he’s scrambling to chuck his boxers to the side and you’re tossing your shirt on top of his boxers.

***********************

“Fuuuck,” Jungkook groans. He’s breathless, heart racing erratically. All he can do is hold your shoulders as he watches with a piercing, hazy gaze as his cock is swallowed in between your tits. You squeeze them tightly together, trying to create as much friction as you can for him.

“Fuck,” He whines, “Fuck, you look so good, baby. O-oh, shit, my pretty baby, you’re pretty-”

Jungkook nearly cums when you mischievously stick your tongue out to brush against the head of his leaking cock. The visual is almost too much for him and his breaths are choked, strangled as he forces himself to look into your dark eyes.

“So big, bunny, look,” You say softly, “You like this? You’re so hot like this…”

He’s nearly in tears, eyes shining and wet at how good this feels. If your pussy was a slice of heaven, then your tits were the next best thing. You moan softly, feeling your own wetness and heat pooling. Jungkook’s cheeks and chest are flushed, eyes wild and wet as he slides his cock in between the valley of your tits languidly. Almost as if he doesn’t want the moment to end.

You’re so warm, warm everywhere.

His muscles are tense, the furrow in his brow beginning to appear when he’s about to cum. “Shit, baby, oh my god, I love your tits,” Jungkook moans, tossing his head back, “Fuck, I love everything about you-”

You don’t know how he’s able to form coherent sentences to you when he’s this close to cumming. But he’s always been a man of many talents.

“You know what I just realized,” You gasp suddenly, “Neither of us made it official that we’re dating. Like I never asked you ‘out’ and you never asked me ‘out’-”

“Fuck, you talk too much,” Jungkook nearly snarls, “My cock is literally in between your tits and I’m about to fucking cum all over you and you think I belong to anyone else?”

You swallow thickly, Jungkook narrowing his eyes at you. He looks intimidating and intense above you, his powerful, golden thighs straddling either side of you.

“N-no, I was just-”

Jungkook shoots you a glare, reaches behind him and gathers your wetness with two fingers. Before you can ask him what he’s doing, he pushes two fingers into your mouth to shut you up. You send him a glare right back, but it melts away quickly when you swirl your tongue and suck on his digits.

He cums without warning, hastily and with a broken sort of sound ripping from his throat. It’s warm and sticky as it lands on your chest and your cheek. But he cums so much and much to your chagrin some of his cum gets in your eye and you nearly shriek at the burn.

“Jungkook! What the hell, your cum is in my fucking eyeball-”

He’s still panting above you, like some sort of golden boy, and it takes him a few seconds to register your irritation. “Oh shit,” Jungkook says and jumps into action. He tugs you into the bathroom to gently wash your eye for you (after washing his own hands), with you grumbling the entire time.

“I’m sorry, baby,” He says sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. You roll your eyes and demand to be taken back to bed and lavished in kisses as penance for his cum shooting into your eye.

Jungkook tastes himself a little when his tongue slips into your mouth, but it hardly registers as he rolls on top of you, caging you in between his arms.

Jungkook fleetingly thinks he should’ve spent more time trying to convince you to stay home with him. Maybe with a few soft, long kisses to your neck, he might have. You looked delectable, good enough to eat- your dress fitted around your hips, nails, hair, and makeup done, the scent of your perfume subtle but not irritating to his sensitive nose.

You had asked him to pick what jewelry to wear, so one of his long necklaces sitting around your neck and disappearing into the valley of your chest. It doesn’t really match with your dress, but you don’t care.

And Jungkook… well, it was difficult for you to keep your hands off of him as well. His hair is tied back into a neat ponytail, he’s wearing a sequined black (fitted) button up with the top four buttons undone, a thick, silver chain and ripped, black jeans. Your eyes are glued to his chest and he knows it- you can’t help but grip his arm, his bicep whenever you can.

Neither of you really enjoyed the club scene, but you had wanted to go out since it had been a really long time and after all, you were on your staycation. Mei had planted the idea in your head, and so now here Jungkook was.

Here he was, catching flashes off the satin, coral colored wrap dress that you were encased in. For someone who doesn’t like the scene, you blend in effortlessly. But you’re a grown woman, so he takes his eyes off of you and orders a round of shots for him, Jimin, Taehyung and Jin while nursing a bottle of soju.

In the midst of the thumping bass bouncing off of the walls in the club, you’re only aware of you and Mei while you both sing along to whatever song is blasting through the club. Mina disappeared a while ago, presumably to find Jimin.

You’re holding two drinks, one in each hand, and all you feel is the vibrations of the club. Along with your own drunkenness. Mei holds your arm to keep you steady as you move your hips in time with hers. You laugh loudly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders at something she said. Everything is amplified and muted at the same time, the swirl of alcohol settling comfortably in your veins.

You’re having a great time with your friends, dancing, swirling, singing and drinking. It’s a nice night to unwind, in the company of dear friends and strangers.

“Hey,” Mei murmurs in your ear, “I gotta pee and I’m gonna go find Seulgi-”

“You can just say that you wanna go find her,” You giggle, “Don’t blame your bladder on it, Mei.”

“Oh, you’re funny. I’ll text Jungkook and tell him to come find you, alright?” Mei says, patting your head. You nod and tell her to go find her girl, and she does. Leaving you to your own devices for a bit, at least until Jungkook makes his way to you.

However, what neither of you realize is that the cell reception in this building is terrible. Mei’s text never goes through and you stay in your bubble, with your two drinks in your hands and bounce along to the music.

You’re not sure how much time goes by, but it feels like you’ve been alone for quite a while. You squint your eyes at your phone to check the time and send a text to Jungkook. A text that never goes through. You frown and are about to turn on your heel to link up with your man (wherever he might be), but you hear a surprised call of your name.

It’s hard to keep the incredulity out of your face when you come face to face with Yunho, the man who had stood you up all those months ago. The air has almost been punched out of your lungs, and you have to squint at him to believe what you’re seeing.

He calls your name again, giving you a wave and a bright smile. “Funny seeing you here, huh?”

“Uh…”

“Can I buy you a drink? I feel like I owe it to you after…” His eyes are sincere. At least you think so, with your drunk goggles on.

“I don’t know, Yunho, it’s okay…” You mumble unsurely, “Isn’t this weird?”

“It’s only weird if we make it weird,” Yunho says and pulls a chuckle out of you.

“Oh, alright. I guess a drink won’t hurt,” You shrug and lead the way to the bar. The least he can do for you after standing you up and hurting your feelings is buy you a drink, you think.

“Hey listen, I owe you an apology,” Yunho says, sliding your drink towards you.

“Oh, it’s- it was a long time ago,” You shrug, avoiding his eyes. Sure, it was a hit to your ego, but in hindsight it doesn’t matter. Not when you have Jungkook. Honestly, you’ve forgotten that Yunho had even been a blip in your radar once upon a time. It was only because of Sora, anyway.

“I had something urgent come up last minute that day and I asked Sora to tell you,” Yunho continues, “I’m sorry I didn’t follow up or even reach out to you after. But I’d heard that you were with Jeon now, so didn’t want to… overstep, I guess.”

And even through your drunken haze, you understand. You sigh deeply, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Oh boy,” You groan, “Sora never told me about that but we’re not close anymore, Yunho. It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry she got you, too.”

Yunho’s lips part in surprise, “She didn’t… Alright. What’s done is done, I guess.”

“Yeah,” You murmur airily, “And yes, I am with Jeon. Though I can’t seem to find him…”

“I’m happy to keep you company until you do.”

Despite how well you and Yunho seem to hit it off (most of your time spent bitching about Sora), you can’t help but think of Jungkook. You quite miss him, not having seen him all night in the club. You want to dance with him, and little do you know that he’s been scouring the entire club for you in a frenzy once he ran into Mei and Mina and hadn’t seen you with them.

He had sent them a glare, his jaw clenched and walked away to find you. So when his eyes finally land on you at the bar, after about twenty-five minutes of searching and trying to get through strings of people around you, his heart soars. But he sees you laughing with someone else at the bar. With Yunho.

Jealousy is petty, he tells himself. But he struggles to keep it at bay as it rears its head and comforts him. He’s always been protective and possessive of those he loves and cherishes. You’re definitely no exception.

You wobble a little on your feet, but you hold your own. Even from here, he can see the drunkenness of your smile, beads of sweat as they race down your neck to hide in the valley of your breasts. He zeroes in on your necklace (his) around your neck and reminds himself. It’s his necklace that you’re wearing, after all.

Then why is the man who stood you up all those months ago making you laugh like that?

You must have a sixth sense or something for him, because you turn your head a bit as if you can sense him. Your entire face lights up when you see him, in a way that makes his tough heart swell in adoration.

You make your way over to him with your drink and peck his lips chastely, despite his desire to pull you into his arms and kiss you long enough that your knees buckle. So that Yunho sees that he is yours.

“You disappeared on me, baby,” Jungkook murmurs, adjusting your necklace. He’s gripping it tightly, but you don’t notice.

“I was with Yunho, remember him? ‘Member, he stood me up but he didn’t because it was Sora’s fault-”

“That’s no surprise,” Jungkook says, rolling his eyes. You take his hand, squeezing and introduce him to Yunho. As if he doesn’t know him already. Jungkook’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, his jaw clenched. He doesn’t like how Yunho looks at you, how his gaze lingers on your skin and the curves of your dress. You lean against Jungkook heavily, absently playing with his fingers. You stay mostly quiet, sipping your drink as the two men speak (rather tersely).

Jungkook knows he’s being ridiculous.

“Kook, finish my drink?” You murmur, offering him the glass. Jungkook maintains eye contact with Yunho as he downs the remainder of your drink in a few solid gulps.

“Was nice to see you, Yunho,” You say, “I think Jimin and Mina are looking for us, Jungkook. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

With that Jungkook firmly holds your waist, keeping you close to him. You both know that neither Jimin nor Mina are looking for either of you. You’d only wanted to be alone with Jungkook.

So Jungkook leads you to a spot where he knows Yunho can visibly see you both. You let loose, giggling as Jungkook twirls you easily and moving your arms to match the beat of the music. He makes you laugh with his moves, winking at you and shooting finger guns at you as he twirls and swivels around you. He’s always been a great dancer, you realize. That’s funny, because you’re sometimes clumsy on your own two feet. He pulls you into him, his chest to your back and his hips pressed against your ass. You sigh contentedly, head lolling against his shoulder and you rest your hand over his hand to let him lead you.

His nose is buried in your neck, lips lightly brushing your pulse. He bites your earlobe gently, earning a soft laugh from you. Jungkook tilts your jaw to the side to meet your eyes and plants a deep kiss to your glossy lips. He holds you steady when your knees weaken, your belly flipping at the intensity that he pours into you.

Jungkook is all around you, encasing you within his arms and there’s not a single place you’d rather be. When you pull away for air, you thumb away your gloss on his bottom lip and bite his bottom lip gently.

“I adore you,” You say dreamily, “You are so… Everything. Everything. I adore you.”

Jungkook’s cheeks burn, but he ducks his head for another sharp kiss. And if Yunho is watching him shove his tongue down your throat and holding your hips to his possessively then that’s fine by him.

The journey back home is a quick one (after you both stop for fried noodles, despite the inevitable heartburn it’ll give you both the next day but you’re both so hungry). You both stumble into your home in a mess of giggles and groping, nearly falling to the floor due to your clumsiness.

Jungkook has been hard since he kissed you in the club, in front of Yunho. He knew Yunho had been watching, feeling the man’s eyes on you both the entire time. His jealousy has crawled back into the box that it was unleashed from, but he knows that’s something to revisit later.

Something else to revisit is that he liked that someone else was watching him with you. He stores that information for later, instead focusing on keeping you upright from falling.

Somehow, through your blurry vision and wobbly legs, you get on your knees and palm Jungkook’s cock through his pants. A shameless moan rips through you- any and every inch of him makes you dizzy with desire.

You like him so much that it nearly makes you cry.

“Gonna blow you now,” You announce happily, fumbling with the button of his jeans and using all of your concentration and strength to pull his pants down along with his boxers. You sloppily kiss your way down his chest, spending extra time on his tattoo and licking (then biting) his happy trail before humming around his leaking cock.

He’s so wet already, and it’s all because of you.

Jungkook groans, eyes closing in pleasure as your pretty mouth wraps around his cock. He thrusts lightly into your mouth, peeling his eyes open to watch you. Only to find you already staring up at him, your makeup smudged and tears already forming in your pretty eyes. He cradles your cheek affectionately, stroking your cheekbone-

But before he can compliment you, softly praise you, he hears a noise. It originates from the back of your throat, something both familiar and unfamiliar. You gag uncontrollably around his cock, and while it’s certainly not the first time it’s happened, it’s different this time. Because you’re a little drunk. So he should be unsurprised when you retch on his cock, pull yourself off of him before your drunk self can get any more vomit on his cock and sprint into your bathroom.

You manage to lock the door in your frenzy of utter humiliation and alcohol addled mind. You hover over the toilet bowl, the sounds of you throwing up bouncing off of the walls. You’re crying, sobbing more like it- from both the pain in your chest from vomiting violently into the toilet bowl coupled with the humiliation of quite literally throwing up on your boyfriend’s cock.

You groan and squeeze your eyes shut, as if that’ll erase the memory.

“Baby,” Jungkook calls softly, his cock fully hanging out in the open, “Baby, please open the door. It’s not a big deal, but I need to wash my dick off.”

You let out a choked, watery laugh at that and move to flush the toilet and rinse your mouth out. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment when you unlock your bathroom door, and you can’t bear to look Jungkook in the eye. But he holds your wrist to his when you try to escape into the safety of your bedroom.

Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of your chest, heat flooding your ears in shame. It feels like your head is empty, static filling up the spaces that the silence between you both doesn’t.

“It’s just me,” Jungkook coos, “Do you want to shower with me?”

“Jungkook, ‘m absolutely mortified,” You say flatly, voice a little high in pitch as fresh tears burning behind your eyelids, “I want to evaporate from this plane of existence in about three-point-four seconds, I literally threw up on your penis, I’m so sorry. Don’t even look at me-”

Jungkook winces at your tone and the way your shoulders are hunched, hands gripping the hem of your dress unsurely.

“Baby,” Jungkook sighs, “It’s really okay, there’s nothing to apologize for. Come shower. The vomit is drying on my dick-”

But that’s the wrong thing to say because you start to cry immediately, shoving your face in your hands. Jungkook sighs, mentally kicking himself and running a hand through his purple locks. He calls your name softly and pulls you into his arms for a tight hug, despite the drying vomit on his dick, which is hanging out and brushes against your hip. You sniffle, peeking at him with shy eyes and he rubs your back soothingly.

“When I say it’s okay, I mean it,” Jungkook murmurs into your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize how drunk you were. I know you feel embarrassed, but it’s just me, baby.”

He kisses you, despite your protests, and helps you rinse your mouth again. You allow Jungkook to somehow maneuver you into the shower, peeling you out of your clothes. You feel grimy and sticky from the club and you’re grateful for the cool water against your skin. You stand behind Jungkook, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your face in between his shoulder blades, letting him wash himself.

“Can I wash you?” You whisper, voice unsure. You feel awful, cheeks burning but still. He nods and you take your body wash and lather him with it, washing his now limp dick gently and swallowing nervously.

“See? Not a big deal,” Jungkook says, coaxes you out of your nervousness, “Lemme wash you, baby.”

And so he does, taking your loofah and gently rubbing your skin. Under the cool spray of water, your nerves slip away with each giggle and kiss that he pulls and plants from your lips. Your eyes are still a little shy, a little slick with alcohol. But it’s just Jungkook, and you’re safe with him.

Jungkook nearly wrestles you to get you to eat something more, after throwing up the remainder of your guts after you both had showered (it was mainly just water and alcohol at this point). You’re nearly falling asleep on his shoulder but he manages to shake you awake for a slice of leftover noodles and two glasses of water. But eventually, he coaxes you into eating with a few kisses, hugs, and shoulder rubs.

Once you both are in bed, Jungkook wraps himself around you, his hands immediately drifting below your sleep shirt to your belly. Your cheeks burn as the events of the night replay in your mind’s eye and you press your face into your pillow with a groan.

“I can’t believe I threw up on your dick a-and you’re so nice a-about it,” You mumble, “You really are everything.”

“Well, what else am I going to do if the girl I like vomits on my dick,” Jungkook murmurs, “Don’t worry about it, baby. It happens.”

“To who? Only to me,” You say sadly, “I drank too much. I’m sorry, Kook-”

“Shhh,” Jungkook says, tightening his arms around you and kissing your forehead, “I promise it’s okay. I promise I’m not looking at you any differently.”

His words make you relax in his hold and you nod. Jungkook tilts your jaw towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You don’t say anything else after that, only allowing your soft, breathy sighs to spill out of your lips and into him with every comforting kiss and every slip of his tongue in your mouth.

He tells you to rest in between kisses, but your eyes are already closed.

**************************************

MOM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ultraanonymousey @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c @yeotan07

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook fluff

540 notes · View notes

sunarinluvr · 3 years

Text

|| haikyuu boys finding you asleep on the couch after an argument ||

includes: kuroo tetsurou, miya osamu, & oikawa tooru

a/n- hello! sorry for posting so late, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i was actually in the mood to finish it so i hope yall enjoy! oh and im not really sure about how i feel about it,,, might take it down later we shall see.

warnings: none ( lmk if there’s anything! )

KUROO -

last night you saw a post kuroo’s “work wife” had made on instagram with her kissing him on the cheek, and it didn’t make you feel the best, so you decided to bring it up to him the next morning. and you did, just as he was getting ready for work you talked to him about it.

you were standing in front of him filled with anger arguing about how it made you uncomfortable, “can you please listen?! i dont feel comfortable with your “work wife” kissing you?” you yelled. “Y/N it was on the cheek its not a big deal!” and to be honest you just wanted to cry.

finally, he walked past you and opened the door. “i don’t have time for this y/n, stop being so insecure! at least she wouldn’t argue over something so small!” and with that, he slammed the door and you stood there stunned. kuroo knew that he shouldn’t have said that, instant regret and guilt filled his gut.

but he already said it, he can’t do anything about it now. with a frustrated sigh, he went to work. hoping to fix everything when he gets home. you stood there speechless, as you realized you still had work so slowly you made your way to the bathroom.

after getting ready and grabbing a quick snack you were out the door with a heavy chest. once you get home, tired and feeling worse than before. you trudged to the couch and plopped down letting out a shaky sigh remembering the argument and the words he said repeating in your head.

you broke down crying, and before you knew it, the exhaustion from today took over and you were sound asleep on the couch. kuroo got home an hour later, he felt guilty and was already practicing how he’d apologize to you as he walked in.“y/n? kitten?” no answer.

he called out again, and was met with silence, he made his way over to the living room where he found you sleeping on the couch. gently walking towards you he knelt down, and saw your tear-stained face which made his heart sink. “i fucked up” he said to himself.

giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead he softly apologized and carried you to the bedroom. you ended up waking up when you felt his body weight dent the bed. “tetsu?” you said softly squinting at him. relief rushes through his body at the sound of his nickname. looking at you with guilt in his eyes

“im so sorry kitten, i shouldn’t have said that. i didn’t mean to hurt you” he said gently. at that tears started flowing again and he was quick to hug you and wipe your tears with his other hand. “it’s ok, i shouldn’t have been so insecure anyways”

he shook his head with a frown “no it’s not your fault ok? i didn’t mean anything i said. i love you so so much and i’m so lucky that you’re mine” you look up at him and gave him a small smile “okay” before cuddling closer to him. giving you a soft kiss on the lips he hugged you tighter as you both fell asleep.

OSAMU -

osamu was just having a horrible day, his head was pounding and the customers he had to deal with today were just plain rude. then he had to do most of the work since one of his employees called in sick, and for some reason, everything just annoyed him.

you on the other hand did not know about his day at all and thought it would be nice of you to make a surprise visit. walking in with a huge smile on your face stopping midway when you realize he wasn’t at the counter. “where’s samu?” you asked sweetly to the employee

“he’s in the back, i think he has a headache,” she says giving you a small smile. you can tell something was off by the way she spoke but decided to just brush it off and make your way to the back. “hi samu! surprise!” you exclaimed cheerfully as you make your way towards him

he just kind of looks at you, which you thought was weird, but you decided to hug him anyways. when he doesn’t hug you back and groan, you pull away and look at him “baby i heard you had a headache. i didn’t bring any medicine, but we could eat first and i-”

you couldn’t even finish your sentence since osamu just stood up. he was infuriated and had no clue why, usually loved listening to you but today he was just annoyed. “look y/n a don’t mean ta be rude, but a don't have the energy for this right now. please just go home.” he said coldly staring right at you.

“excuse me? i came here to surprise you and this is what i get??” you said in shock, voice a little louder this time. rolling his eyes “Oh wow am so surprised! now will ya please go home? a don’t wanna argue right now!” he yelled. with tears forming in your eyes you quickly wiped them and left. osamu knew he shouldn’t have said all that, but he was too mad to run after you in front of all the customers.

you rushed home and sluggishly made your way to your room to change into something comfier, making your way to the couch, curling up into a ball allowing your tears to fall, and somehow falling asleep, after getting tired of crying. he gets home a few hours later, guilt building up in his stomach as he mentally slaps himself for the things he said.

walking into the living room he opened the lights and you were the first thing he noticed. seeing you curled up into a ball on the couch made his heart drop to his stomach. you on the other hand woke up because of the sudden change of lighting.

gradually adjusting your sight you see him and switch your gaze onto the floor when you saw him look at you too. seeing your puffy eyes he walks towards you slowly and sits beside you giving you enough space. “am sorry, a shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on ya.”

you look at him with watery eyes and his heart sinks “yea i was just trying to be nice, sorry i didn’t warn you before coming” he opened his arms and you instinctively scooted closer to him, he sighs “no a love it when you surprise me a was jus having a bad day a love ya so much ok?” finally hugging him “okay i love you too” giving you a quick kiss he offered to make you food and of course you said yes.

OIKAWA -

you love oikawa, and you’re very supportive and understanding especially when it comes to his career. but he has an awful habit of overworking himself and as much as you love him you can't bear the fact that you couldn’t even see him anymore.

he goes home late at night -as in you’re already sound asleep late- and when you do stay up to see him, he’s too tired to even keep a conversation. then the next morning he’s gone before you could even wake up. you’ve spoken to him about this many times, but alas nothing changed.

you woke up to an empty bed as usual, but today was different though, you’ve planned a dinner for about 2 weeks now. you were very excited because it’s been so long since you both spent some quality time together and he promised to come home early.

getting up you send him a little text reminding him of your dinner tonight, with a smile you head on over to the bathroom to get ready for work. once work was over you made a quick visit to the grocery store to buy the ingredients you’ll need to make tonight’s dinner.

quietly humming to yourself while going through each aisle, and double-checking your list to make sure you’re not missing anything while checking your phone here and there. oikawa still hasn’t replied “he must be busy,” you say to yourself as you send him another text about the dinner just in case. after about 30 minutes you get home rushing since it was already late, and immediately getting started on dinner.

once you're done you sat down and waited, and waited, and waited. it's been 4 hours. dinners cold and still no sign of your boyfriend. you decided to call him pissed off that he couldn’t even show up to one dinner, “hello? y/n i can't talk right now i still need to practice”

he said as soon as he picked up. “tooru? did you get my texts? what about dinner, we’ve made plans for this 2 weeks prior! i even-” you were cut off “look just eat without me ok? we can eat again somet-” now it was your turn to cut him off.

“oikawa tooru, you leave the house while i’m asleep and come back when i'm asleep. i just wanted to spend time with you..whatever good luck at practice,” you replied as you hang up. his heart sank when he heard the crack in your voice rushing to his car on his way home to you because he knows he fucked up.

buying your favorite flowers for you on the way home cursing himself and the world for making it traffic at that exact moment. when he got home the first thing he saw was the food and you fast asleep on the couch. he felt a pang of guilt about being late.

“y/n chan?” he said while gently waking you up. you stare at him with red puffy eyes and he hugged you giving you the flowers “im sorry baby, i should’ve prioritized you and our dinner. i promise ill do better” you saw how genuine he was being so you accepted the flowers and hugged him tighter as he offered to reheat the food you made.

reblogs are highly appreciated!

598 notes · View notes

dasywritingblog · 3 years

Text

ENEMIES TO LOVER

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Words: 1.734

(Y/N) P.O.V.

I raise my head to observe the huge building in front of me: the Stark Tower, Avengers headquarter, my new home. Call it whatever you like, but this is not gonna change what is going on right now. I'm still shocked since when Nick Fury in the flash walked in my lab and offered me to work with the Avengers.

I take courage and enter the building where I'm greeted by the headmaster of S.H.I.E.L.D. himself.

FURY: Miss. (y/l/n) it's good to see you. Please follow me,I'll take you to meet the team.

I nod my head in agreement still incredulous of what is happening to me. I follow the man in the elevator that takes us in an enormous living room which alone is three times the size of my flat in Brooklyn.

I look around the room until I notice the whole team sitting at a table at the side of the room near the windows. Everyone is looking at me with a smile on their face, well everyone except the infamous Black Widow that is glaring at me as if she wants to kill me.

FURY: Avengers, this is (y/n) (y/l/n) the recruit I talked to you about. She is a scientist so shell work with Banner in the lab most of the time, but I want her to be trained just in case.

A tall blond guy with enormous man boobs (thanks Hayley Atwell) and piercing blue eyes comes towards me holding out his hand which I shake promptly.

STEVE: Welcome to the team (y/n).

(Y/N): Thank you Captain it's an honor to be here.

A brunette girl comes to me and starts dragging me out of the room making me trip over my own feet.

WANDA: Come on (y/n/n) I give you a tour of the tower. Oh plus I'm Wanda.

(Y/N): Well it's nice to meet you Wanda, although it would have been more pleasant if you hadn't tried to tear off my arm.

Both of us burst out laughing. Maybe I'll fit in here better than I thought.

TIME SKIP (cause I can)

After the tour with Wanda she was recalled by Vision, aka her boyfriend, to prepare dinner, so I kept wandering around the building looking for my bedroom. When I finally find my room I stop in front of it when I hear voices coming from the door next to mine. I know I shouldn't do this, but curiosity is too strong, so I go to the ajar door and begin to listen.

NATASHA: I don't like her Clint, there is something in her that doesn't convince me.

CLINT: Nat you saw her one time and you haven't even talked to her.

NATASHA: She'll provoke so many problems...

CLINT: How do you know that?

NATASHA: She doesn't know how to fight! She is so weak. I'm telling you Clint if we don't do something now she is gonna get us all killed.

I instinctively walk away from the door. I'm hurt by Natashas words, but i don't understand why. I lock myself in my room and start studying to take my mind off the harsh words of the spy until Tonys AI warns me that dinner is ready.

I walk down to the dining room and finde everyone already seated. There are only two vacancies, one near Wanda. I try to sit next to her but I fall with my ass to the ground. Ignoring the fact that everyone is staring at me and the blush on my cheek I stand up and see Natasha standing with a smirk on her face and the chair in her hands.

NATASHA: This is my place newbeen, go find another spot.

I mumble some apology and go sit near Bruce who places a hand on my shoulder in a reassuring manner.

BRUCE: Don't worry, shell warm up to you.

I smile at his words even if deep inside I know it will never happen.

TIME SKIP

It's been a month since the day I arrived at the tower, and I have to say that I settle down pretty well. Time passing I got closer with everyone, me and Wanda are inseparable now and for what concern Natasha she still hates me.

Yep, she spends every day making smart-ass comments about me, insulting me and during training she offers to spar with me just to remember me how weak I am and beat me till I cant stand. At first I thought it was normal, I was new and she didn't know me, I believed she just wanted to defend her family. But day passing by I realized that she wasn't defending anyone, she just hate me and have fun seeing me suffer.

After another day spent being insulted and beaten by Natasha I realized that I was tired of all this shit. As soon as I'm done with the training I run to my room without caring about Wanda running after me and close the door. All the bad things said by the widow come to my mind "you're weak" "do you really think you're worth working here with us?" "you're no one". Without realizing it I start crying and sob, I'm tired of being pushed down, I wanna go back to my old life with my old friends that respect me not beat me. I take a decision,I'm going away. I take the suitcase and start throwing my things into it while thinking of an escape plan.

By dinner time all my things were packed and I had come out with a good plan, I'll escape tonight while everyone is sleeping leaving behind a note to explain myself.

In order to not arouse suspicion I decide to go to dinner where I'm greeted by an angry and worried Wanda.

WANDA: Look who decided to show up! I was worried, you practically runned out of the gym in tears. What happened (y/n/n)?

(Y/N): The usual Wanda. I'm tired of her treating me like shit. Plus the fact that I have a major crush on her doesn't help.

WANDA: Wait, you have a crush on the girl that wants you death?!

(Y/N): For God sake Wanda don't shout!

WANDA: Sorry.

(Y/N): I've always had a crush on her and at first I believed that she could love me back, but I was a fool for believing that.

WANDA: I'm so sorry (y/n/n).

She hugged me for a while making me feel safe and loved and then we walk to the table and start eating with the other.

The only noise that fills the room right now is the chewing of food, that's so awkward usually during the meal everyone chat and laugh, but today everyone is quiet and busy sharing worried looks.

(Y/N): Is everything ok?

NATASHA: Sure thing love.

I spit the water into the plate.

(Y/N): Sorry, what?

NATASHA: Are you ok (y/n/n/)?- she stand up and walk to me cupping my face with one of her hands- you seem a little bit pale princess.

I feel my face heat up at the nickname and I start to shutter.

(Y/N): No, youre perfect, I I mean I'm perfectly fine.

NATASHA: Did you all hear her? What did you say about me?

She squished my face more.

(Y/N): No-nothing...

NATASHA: That's better you whore. Don't you dare to hope that I can fall in love with a dumb bitch like you!

I start to tear up, those words hurt me, but she is right, how could I believe that a Goddess like her could love a nobody like me.

NATASHA: Cry baby.

WANDA: Natasha enough! You did your job, you broke her, now let her be!

As soon as Natasha left my face I ran in my bedroom and started crying, hoping that the night will come soon.

TIME SKIP

It's 1a.m. and Im walking down the hall of the tower with my suitcase trying not to make a sound and hoping that Jarvis doesn't notify anyone that I'm escaping. I almost made it to the door when I heard the last person I wanted to hear call my name.

NATASHA: Where are you going?

I take a deep breath and turn around to face her for the last time.

(Y/N): Away. But why do you care Natasha, isn't that what you always wanted?

NATASHA: Wow, easy there (y/n). I never wanted you to leave.

(Y/N): Really Natasha? Then why you insulted me and beaten me every fucking day? Admit it you hate me and you enjoy yourself seeing me suffer!

NATASHA: (y/n) I'm

(Y/N): Dont (y/n) me! You broke me Natasha and right now I want you to let me go so the both of us can be happy.

Natasha looked at me shocked so I took this chance to walk away drying my tears with the sleeve of my hoody. I was almost out of the door when Natasha pulled me by my arm and crushed her lips on mine. I froze.

NATASHA: Now is my time to talk. I didn't mean to hurt you (y/n), never. Is just that the day you walked in this tower I fell in love with you cause you were different from everyone else, and when I realized how I felt about you I got scared and I tried to push you away cause I didn't want to hurt you. But I end up hurting you more.

I'm standing in front of Natasha speechless. Part of me wants to believe me and let her love me, but the other part tells me to walk away without looking back.

(Y/N): How do I know you won't hurt me again?

NATASHA: You don't know. You have to trust me and if you do I promise I'll treat you like you deserve and love you with all my body and soul.

I look at her teary eyes, my heart melts and a smile grows on my lips.

(Y/N): You have a chance Romanoff. But if you hurt me you're dead, got it?

NATASHA: Yes ma'am.

Love you all and be safe

Dasy🥰

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #girls who like girls #enemies to lovers #angst #happy ending

113 notes · View notes

scandeniall · 3 years

Text

touch & go

pairing: suna! x reader

summary/warnings: “ If you don't wanna be, why you always on my line?” inspired by touch & go // tinashe (u should listen to the song)/ hurt/comfort(kinda not really)

-------

“Do you even want to be with me anymore?”

It's a thought that’s been plaguing your mind for months. A thought that comes out at dinner, one that had already been painfully silent. A conversation that Suna killed when you even attempted to start it. Sometimes it was with a kiss and the promise of a good night. Other times, he had to head home because of a busy day in the morning.

It started when he stopped staying over at night. “I sleep better with you.” It's what he used to tell you whenever you teased him about not sleeping in his own place with his overpriced rent. Whenever you two were in bed nowadays it was almost as if you were sleeping with a stranger. A quick kiss and a mumbled goodnight before he turned his back on you. There were no more comfort cuddles. The days of him laying between your legs and gaming were long gone.

“I love you.” Was all that Suna could manage to get out. And it wasn’t a lie. He loved you. So so much, but things were different and he was different. He’d just started playing professionally and the adjustment wasn’t easy. He’s stressed a lot more, and he didn’t need you to add to that even more.

“That's not what I’m asking Rin.” Your voice is quiet. You wanted to fix this, whatever it was. You really did. However, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stay in a relationship where you felt invisible. “I’m asking if you still want to be in a relationship with me.”

The both of you sit in silence for what felt like hours. Your now cold dinner is now forgotten as you eye the plate. Its not like you could eat anyways. “Why are you even asking this (Y/N). You know I care about you.” His refusal to answer the question only adds to the ache in your heart.

“Suna.” Hearing you call him by his surname is enough to have him look at you for the first time that evening. And still, you feel invisible.

“Babe-”

“No. Let me say this,” you stop him. He only sighs, meeting your sad eyes with exhausted ones. “Remember what we would always tell people back in the day?” He nods, remembering the days in high school and college when people would always question your relationship since the two of you did not seem compatible at all. It would always be, “If one of us didn’t want to be here, we wouldn’t be”.

“Rin,” you sigh swallowing the lump in your throat. “If you don’t want to be here, why are you still here?”

“Because I love you.” Normally the whispered words would send butterflies straight to your stomach. However, this time they felt like pouring salt in a wound.

“I don’t doubt that deep down you do. But right now, I think you love the thought of me more. Do you remember the last time you asked me about my day?”

He only looks at you in thought for a moment before shaking his own head. It’d been so long since he’d listened to your work gossip. So long since the two of you had gone on a boba run, or a late night drive. Anything really that the two of you used to love doing together. He couldn’t remember.

“I think we should take a break.”

You're able to say it firmly despite the tears threatening to fall. It causes his eyes to shoot up at yours as he tries to come up with something to say. Anything. Yet before he could repeat the tired out three words you stop him.

“Just for a little while Rin. I’ve been patient. I’m tired of sleeping by myself. I miss you and your texts. And we both know that whenever I’ve tried to bring it up in the past you tried to cover it with sex. I can’t keep being the only one putting effort in. I need you to meet me in the middle.”

“I can do that (Y/N)”

“I know you can. But not right now baby. You know that and so do I.”

He doesn’t say anything and you watch as his fingers fiddle with the charm on his necklace. Its one you’d gotten him on your third anniversary, and he hadn’t taken it off since. The way you so sadly called him baby. Your voice is so full of care. Sincerity, yet you sound so hurt and it causes him to let out a shaky exhale.

“I need to put my peace first for once, Rin. You need to work out things with yourself too” All Suna could do was let out a nod. He watches as you get up and begin clearing off his table, and he just watches.

“I’m gonna head home ok Rin. Are you going to be ok?” Here you were, putting on a brave face and asking him if he’d be ok. All he wanted to do was ask about you. After all, five whole years together and he never saw this day coming. He knew your heart ached, because he knew you. He watched as you fidgeted with your fingers, and kept sighing. He knew it was your attempt at keeping yourself calm. To really get the strength to leave.

He wordlessly followed you towards his door like a lost puppy. “I love you ok?” You whispered to him.

“I love you too.”

The small smile you let out was genuine. It was the first one he’d seen from you in the past 3 months. It filled him with just the tiniest bit of hope. The two of you would be back, It wasn’t optional.

Suna felt himself return the look as you placed a kiss on his cheek. “I’ll see you around Rin.”

And then you were gone. The door shut softly behind you.

“See you later (Y/N).”

a/n: im listening to my suna playlist and this is on it so alas here i am. but to combat that i also have a happier suna song fic coming probably tmw mwah <3

#hq x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu x reader #suna imagines #hq imagines #haikyuu imagine #hq imagine #suna rintaro imagine #haikyuu imagines

105 notes · View notes

reidsconverse · 3 years

Text

memories • spencer reid

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: none! just 4000 words of pure angst

This was an old fic reworked to be about around spencer so its taking a lottt of creative/artistic liberty with the character, so it kinda sucks im sorry! 😁

Every moment you had with him was one to be remembered and cherished for better or worse.

It had been a few weeks since Spencer had officially ended things, he had moved all of his stuff out of your apartment and now it seemed as if he had never even existed in the same place as you, as though you two were strangers. That is had it not been for the images of memories the two of you held. So, here you were sat alone in your room, your only company the half-empty bottle of wine and photographs of the two of you which sat strewn carelessly across your floor.

You picked up a picture and stared at it realising you both looked so happy. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, a cup in his hand and his signature grin sitting across his face. Your head was leaning against his shoulder, the smile on your face reminding you of how free you had felt that night, you had never felt happier and you recognised that night as the night you realised...you were so in love.

"We should have a party," Spencer yelled despite there being no one else other than the two of you in the room.

"Right now?" You looked at him as if he was insane, not only was it completely out of character for your boyfriend but also, it was 1 am on a Wednesday and although your friends weren't those with a regular schedule you presumed most of them would decline a house party in the middle of the week.

"Yeah right now, c'mon doll I'll call Derek and some of the others and you call your friends." His hand was already on his phone texting Derek before you could protest so you followed his instructions and went ahead and invited your friends before getting up and preparing for this impromptu party.

It had only been 10 minutes when you heard Derek and some others open the door shouting for Spencer and you walked over with a grin on your face, "Hey D, Spencers being a diva and redoing his hair, he'll be right down." You said, rolling your eyes as Derek pulled you into a hug, he may have been Spencer's best friend but he thought of you as a sister and always treated you as such.

"Well I have look good for my girl," You heard Spencer say from behind you quickly placing a kiss on your cheek before doing his weird handshake with Derek, "Hey, thanks for coming'."

The three of you made your way to the kitchen to grab some drinks and greet some more guests who had congregated in that area and before you knew it, you were 4 shots in, feeling way past tipsy and in the mood to dance.

"Hey Spence," You said walking over to where he was now sat, a cup in his hand as he held a conversation with JJ and Emily about something that you didn't care too much about. You waved a quick hello to the girls so as not to be rude and then placed your head on his shoulder to let him know of your presence.

"Hey darling, you feeling good?" He turned his face and flashed you a wide grin before wrapping an arm around you to pull you close to him. He enjoyed being near you whenever he could, when he was away he would long for the days where all he did was sit and hold you close to him regardless of what the two of you were doing, so now whenever he had the chance he would hold you close.

"Feelin' great Spence.. wanna dance with you..." You said pulling out of his hold and grabbing his hand leading him onto the 'dance floor', which was just the open space in your living room. He laughed and quickly finished his drink, discarding the cup somewhere in the room and held you as you both danced to the music playing through the speakers.

After a couple of songs, you both made your way to get another drink and get a break from the crowd, you sat at the kitchen island and passed him a drink."You know, considering you're a genius, I would've thought you'd be able to coordinate a bit better." You said teasing him about his choice of moves which had essentially been him waving his arms in the air attempting to be in tune with the music.

He looked at you in fake shock and scoffed, "Yeah well it was still better than whatever you were trying to do." Referring to your horrendous attempt at trying to be sexy which in truth was never going to be anything but embarrassing. You stuck your tongue out in a childish manner causing him to laugh and quickly move to place his lips against yours giving you a soft kiss.

You jumped down from the counter after pulling back as a couple of your friends walked in and struck up a conversation about nothing interesting yet you made the effort to look engaged as Spencers's arm slipped over your shoulders and you placed your head against his shoulder.

"Hey guys, look here." You both turned to see your friend Harry, as always with a polaroid camera in his hand. You and Spencer gave each other a quick smile before grinning wide for the camera, both your faces full of love and happiness.

You sat there thinking about how quickly things can change, the people in the image you held so young and naive to the struggles the future would hold. Taking another sip of your wine you skimmed through some more pictures before stopping at one that held a bittersweet meaning. A picture that was taken a few days after what had been your worst fight, you both looked happy but all you could think about the events leading up to the image being taken.

It was your and Spencers 5th anniversary and he had promised he would make it to dinner. You hadn't seen each other in weeks because he was away on a case but he had promised he wouldn't miss this day, he had asked for permission from Hotch to leave for a couple of days so he would be there. "No excuses, No ifs and buts...I'll be there babe. I promise."

But there you were, alone at a table for two. The look on the waiters face held nothing but pity as he walked over for the fourth time to ask if someone would be joining you. Finally, you gave up and shook your head to let him know you would be leaving and would like the cheque. You had never felt so humiliated walking out of the restaurant head held high but tears building up in your eyes and so you cried. You felt so broken, almost as broken as all those promises Spencer had made you. The word promise and sorry had lost all meaning in the last 5 years, simply a courtesy rather than meaningful.

The minute you got home your phone began ringing, it was Spencer.

"Hey doll, I'm so sorry I couldn't make it, the team wanted to go out last night and I kind of missed my -." He began to explain causing you to scoff, 'no ifs or buts' my ass.

"How could you?" Your voice cracking as you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill for the second time that night. "I waited for 2 fucking hours Spencer, I felt like a fucking idiot."

"What? What are you talking about?" His voice was full of confusion. "Didn't you get my text?"

"No, I fucking didn't. I didn't get a fucking text. But that's not the fucking point, You should've been here, you promised you would be here."

"Babe, I'm so -," He began but you knew what he was gonna say. The only conversations you seemed to have were stuck on a loop like a broken record.

"Save it. Don't say you're sorry when you don't mean it, stop saying sorry and show it instead."

"Look, I'll get on the first flight out. I'll see you in a few hours, I'll make it up to you I prom-." You hung up the phone before he could continue, his promise worth nothing to you anymore. Walking over to the couch, you fell asleep the minute your head rested against one of the many cushions populating the seat.

You woke up to keys jingling in the door, yet you made no effort to move from where you were. The sound of his footsteps got louder as he approached.

"Babe? I know you're up." He said, kneeling beside you making you sigh and sit up. "Babe, I'm so sorry. I fucked up."

You just stared at him, it might have been petty but you didn't want to give in to his apologies just yet, he had to understand just how much he had hurt you first.

"I couldn't care less anymore, Spencer. I just need to remember that I'll always come second to work and that's fine, it's important to you and I understand that." You got up and walked over to the kitchen to gather yourself.

"Babe you are the most important thing to me, I'm sorry-."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Here we go again, Spencer there's only so many times you can say you're sorry before it loses all meaning. I'm sick and tired of this, I don't know if I can do this anymore. You're never here, you make promises you can never keep and I'm pretty sure you've told me you're sorry more times than you've told me you love me."

"Please don't do this. I love you." His voice was shaking, breaking down at the thought of you leaving him. He moved over to you and turned you so you were facing him. "I know this means nothing to you but I am so sorry. I've been so shitty to you and I know it."

"Spencer, I deserve better than this and I'm sick of forgiving you and acting like I'm fine with how you treat me, you might not mean it but it fucking hurts. I love you so much and I know you love me but would it kill you to put me first for once in your fucking life."

This annoyed him, the lack of sleep and being overworked leaving him less patient and more irritable, "That's not fucking fair, you knew what you were signing up for when you started dating me, I'm doing my fucking best. I go to work for US, to support US. If I could devote all of my time to you if I could, but I can't and it fucking kills me. You can't understand how much I miss you when I'm not here."

Tears welled in your eyes seeing him breakdown, unable to keep up the unbothered facade you had on, "I just...Spence, I miss you too. It hurts not being able to be near you and so when you're not there when you promise you will be, it hurts it really fucking hurts not to mention it's terrifying, how am I supposed to know you're ok if you do shit like that."

He pulled you into his arms as you sobbed into his chest, all the emotions you'd kept bottled up during the argument letting go. "I know baby, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I promise, and I mean it this time, I won't let you down again. I love you." He mumbled into your hair, slowly kissing your forehead whilst consoling you and holding you like he never wanted to let go.

The two of you went to bed that night in silence, not a word was spoken until the next day wherein Spencer switched off his phone and dedicated the whole weekend to you and only you. He kept his word once he had to leave, always fulfiling his promises, never pushing you to the side and communicating with you always. The two of you felt strong again, you were happy.

You put your glass down and walked out of your room and began pacing around the living room, pictures of you and him still up on your walls, the walls that no longer belonged to the both of you. You thought back to when he asked you to move him, how nervous he was and how excited you were.

It was movie night at Spencers house. Each week he invited everyone over to watch a film, everyone taking it in turns to select a film. This week Emily had chosen Midsommar, a film you were yet to see so you were excited. You were sat beside Spencer on the loveseat, his arm around you and your face resting against his chest, a blanket covering you both for extra comfort. You looked up and saw Derek and Penelope lay spread across the floor whilst JJ and Emily sat on the sofa. Bowls of popcorn and sweets were scattered around the room and beer bottles were piling up. It was nights like this that you wanted to treasure forever, for the first time you felt like you had a family, people to call your own, people you could trust.

"Watcha thinking about?" Spencer asked, glancing at you and realising your mind wasn't directed at the movie anymore.

"Nothing, just really lucky to have you in my life," You reached your hand up to hold his face and gave him a soft kiss. "I love you."

He pulled you in closer if that was even possible, "I love you too."

"Ugh, get a room." Derek groaned making you both chuckle.

Spencer responded by throwing some popcorn at him, "Aw is someone jealous, don't worry you'll find someone soon enough."

Derek murmured a quiet, "Fuck off" before turning his attention back to the movie, making everyone laugh.

The movie ended shortly and everyone was discussing what to watch next, you were in the mood for a comedy but Derek wanted to watch Die Hard for the millionth time. After several minutes of slight arguing, you finally decided on rewatching Moana for the 12th time.

Everyone was pretty much settled, drinks refilled, popcorn replenished and everyone back in their positions. Emily was about to press play before JJ stopped her, "Wait before you start I'm kinda cold can I borrow a sweater?" She asked Spencer.

"Yeah sure, take one from our room." He said casually like it was normal but it made your breath hitch in your throat, did he just say our room? As in, yours and his. Unofficially he wasn't wrong, it was your room as much as his, you spent pretty much every night here making having your own apartment redundant, but he hadn't yet asked you to move in with him. You couldn't help the small blush on your face and the way your lips turned upwards at his words. It made you happy knowing he thought of it as something for both of you.

"What has you so happy?" Penelope asked in a teasing tone, she'd picked up on Spencer words and knew exactly why you were smiling.

You just stuck your tongue out at her and looked up at Spencer, "Our room huh?" You asked making him smile.

"Yeah I mean, you're here every day, maybe more than I am. You should just move in at this point." He let out a little laugh after he said leaving you confused as to whether he was being serious, so you just laughed along and waited for JJ to come back so you could start the movie.

A couple of hours later almost everyone was half asleep, everyone apart from you and Spencer. You began making your way to his room followed by him carrying the blanket he had taken from his bed. The two of you went about your night routine, Spencer had insisted on keeping at least half of your things at his place hence why you never had to leave. You quickly changed into one of his shirts which fit you just right and climbed into bed where he was already sitting, reading a book.

"Spence, were you being serious...earlier when you said I should move in?" You asked him, making him put down his book and look at you.

"Would you like that? You don't have to say yes but I would love it if you moved in. The mornings when I wake up and you're still next to me, are the best mornings. Honestly, knowing I'm going to wake up next to you makes falling asleep easier. Plus Tesla and Edison love you, maybe even more than they loves me." He asked, the mention of his fish making you laugh despite the fact your eyes were welling up, what had you done to deserve the sweetest man to walk the earth.

You shifted yourself so you were straddling him and held his face in your hands, "I would love to move in with you." You answered placing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I love you so much," He said as you moved back to laying down next him. "You make me the happiest man alive and I'm so lucky to have you."

"God, Spence you gotta stop before I start crying, I love you too." You said, as he laughed and pulled you into a comfortable sleeping position.

"Goodnight love." He mumbled, already falling asleep.

"Goodnight Spence." You responded, closing your eyes and beginning to drift off but not before saying, "By the way, the fishies definitely love me more."

You hadn't realised you were crying until a tear fell onto the frame you were holding. The image just as blurred as the memories it held. You carefully placed the image face down onto the table rather than placing it back up. Making your way to the sofa, you got your phone out and glanced at the image that had left you in this state. A picture of him and her, his hands holding hers as tight as they once held yours, the grin on both of their faces wide. He was happy, only it wasn't because of you anymore. You closed your eyes again, remembering how it all ended.

He had been distant since he had come back from this last case, he had been away for almost two months trying to catch this unsub and you had thought he'd be more excited to come back to you and finally be home. But he hadn't spent more than 10 minutes with you, the only time the two of you were in the same room for longer than that was when you fell asleep. Recently that had also stopped, he spent more nights away from home and at clubs with Derek and Emily , only coming back once he knew you weren't there. It was killing you but every time you questioned it he shrugged you off, telling you he loved you.

You wanted to scream at him if he loved you why isn't he showing it, why does he refuse to acknowledge you. You knew he was lying to you, he didn't love you anymore, you could see it in his eyes, how he never looked at you as he used to, he never held you like he used to. It was killing you and you knew you should ask him but you also knew that would lead to conversation you didn't want to have, an ending you didn't want to happen. So you kept quiet, went about your day and didn't question his actions, you had decided you would rather have the worst of him than not have him at all.

But that didn't last long. A few weeks later something happened, something you could ignore. Spencer had barely been home, only coming back to grab new clothes and leaving again often returning at 4 am or not all. The nights you spent alone, his side of the bed going cold broke your heart bit by bit. But you weren't ready for it to completely shatter, the images Penelope sent you of him holding that girl, a little too close, a little too tight, a little too much, start to fill your screen causing a lump in your throat and tears threatening to spill. You walked to the kitchen, surprised to see him there, he was sat at the counter head in his hands and a coffee in front of him.

"Spencer, what fuck is going on?" You all but shouted.

"Shh, my heads killing me." He said, burying his head in his hands attempting to block you out.

"You fucking asshole." You screamed at him, the pain and hurt evident in your broken voice as you tried your best not to cry.

This made him look up, far quicker than he should've causing his head to fill with pain and throb, but he didn't care, the memories of last night were coming back he knew he had fucked up. "I-I'm sorry, I was drunk and she was just there, nothing happened.

"You're sorry? Are you fucking kidding me?" You said, moving away from him as he got up to come closer to you. "No, don't fucking touch me. I'm done."

"What? No look I'm sorry, it won't happen again, I love you." The words were said, but the tone held so much uncertainty you couldn't tell if he was trying to convince you or himself.

"No you don't Spencer, not anymore. I know you don't and I've been lying to myself, saying that I'm ok with it when I'm not. I love you so much but I can't keep hurting myself by pretending like we're fine, We're not fine, we haven't been for a long time. Yes that fucking hurts, I thought we were forever, I thought we were going to grow old together and have kids and show them that we were soulmates. I thought we were perfect but we aren't."

"I never wanted to hurt you, I love you so much but-" He started with a sigh.

"You're not in love with me anymore..." You finished for him

"I'm so sorry. I wish things were different, I wish I could control how I felt. You were everything to me, I really did picture a future for us but things changed, I don't know why and I don't know how. You don't deserve this, I'm so sorry."

"I know Spence, I know." You moved closer to him and he held you like it was the last time... because it was. "I'm sorry too."

You pulled away from him."I'll grab some stuff and go stay at my mom's for a few days. I just need to find a new place to move my stuff to." You said, trying to brush some tears away but failing as they kept falling.

"No, it's fine. I'll go, this is just as much your home as it is mine. I'll stay with Derek for a bit, you take your time sorting stuff out ok?" He said, using his thumbs to attempt to wipe away your tears. You sighed but nodded knowing he wouldn't take no for an answer.

You sat down as he went to the room to gather some things, your mind reeling from the last half hour. How could so much change in such a short period of time, years spent together thrown away so quick.

"I'm done, I'll get going ok?" He said placing his duffel bag down beside by the door.

"So this is it huh?" You said, with a sigh. You felt him walk towards you and take a seat next to you.

"The last 10 years have been the most incredible time of my life, you put up with so much of my shit and loved me unconditionally and I can't thank you enough for giving the eager 25-year-old who wanted nothing more than to impress you a chance. I'm never going to stop loving you, you know that. I'm never gonna forget about you, my first love, the first woman to capture my heart. I'm so sorry things didn't work out like how we'd imagined them. If I could change how I feel I would, I wanted nothing more than for this to be a silly phase, for me to wake up one day and feel how I felt again. But it didn't happen and it fucking sucks."

"I get it, Spence, you have to do what makes you happy and I'm not gonna stop you. I'm just sorry it wasn't me that could give you want and need, but you're gonna make some girl out there very happy if you're even half the man you were when you were with me." You gave him a soft smile as he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.

He stood up and walked to the door. "Call me when you're ready ok? I love you." He turned and gave you a soft smile before picking up his bag and walking out the door.

You just broke down, you don't know how long you sat there sobbing your heart out but it felt like forever. Everything hurt so bad you didn't think you'd ever feel any emotion other than heartbreak for as long as you lived.

You took a deep breath as your hand hovered over the delete button on your phone, it was time to move on just as he had. As you released the breath you were holding, your finger pressed against the button, deleting all the pictures you had with him and you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and the realisation sunk in.

You loved him so much, but he wasn't yours to love anymore.

He was just a memory.

tagged: @gcblers @187-reid @mgg-theprettiestboy @mggbler @snitchthewitch

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer fluff #my works!

373 notes · View notes

sainz-zayn · 3 years

Text

Constant love (Up to you)

He always asks for your consent and leaves everything up to you.

Warnings: Insecurities, suggestive themes, virginity loss, a little pyhsical violence.

Word count: 3k+

Disclaimer: All characters and event in this story even those based on real people are entirely fictional.

This Story is Inspired by the song: Up to you

By: Prettymuch ft. Nct Dream

But in a little more mature way.

Jungwoo is your boyfriend for almost three years and you couldn`t ask for more than his love and affection. You`re always happy when you`re with him you love the way his eyes lit up whenever he sees you.

Your favorite thing to do with him is cuddling or either cooking. Jungwoo loves skinship so much like holding your hands every time or back hugging you. You always love it when he`s clingy but sometimes you feel like you`re being unfair to him because he always asks for your consent when he wants to do something that can make you uncomfortable even though he`s been dating you for years now.

You feel sad or sometimes guilty when you can`t give him what he needs as a man. Which leaves him sexually frustrated but that doesn`t stop him from loving you dearly. Jungwoo knows that you`re still not ready and he respects that. He`s ready to wait until you`re ready.

"Y/n, are you okay?" You look at your side to see Joy talking to you.

"Yeah, why?" You asked her before grabbing a glass full of water.

"You Kinda look down today, to be honest." Joy looks at you with worried eyes, She looks at what you`re staring and now she knows why.

You don`t know why but your anxiety is attacking you again. Yes, when it comes to your relationship with Jungwoo you`re always insecure. Your eyes wander to Jungwoo and Seohyun, you wonder if Jungwoo is enjoying his time with her. Your biggest fear is losing him or someday he`ll leave you.

"You`re fidgeting your fingers again Y/n. There`s no need to be jealous, you know that Jungwoo loves you and only you." Joy said reassuringly.

"We both know how much I don`t like Seohyun right? like she`s always getting on my nerves. Also, don`t forget what she did to us in High School." Yeah, you and a few of the boys know that Seohyun is a bully back in High school and Jungwoo doesn`t know that.

"I know, I know now calm down we should leave and go somewhere else before anything happens" You and the other girls leave Taeyong's house before going to the mall.

You enjoy the time that you have with them. Y`all eat anything that you want to taste and wandering around the mall to buy new clothes and dressing the girls to the point that you didn`t realize what time it is.

-*-

It`s currently 11:00 pm when you open your phone. Because you forgot that you turned it off before leaving Jungwoo at Taeyong`s house.

"Oh shit!" You whisper to yourself so the other girls won`t worry about you.

30 missed calls!? 50 unread messages!? from Jungwoo. You`re surely dead when you get home.

"Guys I have to go or else you know what will gonna happen" You just hug them before leaving first. You`re kinda nervous to go home because you`re sure that Jungwoo is waiting for you to come home.

-*-

Jungwoo is so worried that he called you 30 times but still no answer nor text, and what makes him even madder is that you leave without telling him or texting him. That's how he ended up drinking, he doesn`t know why but he just wants to.

"Where have you been!?" You`re startled at your boyfriend's loud voice.

"I-I just go out with the g-" He cut off your words without letting you explain.

"Without telling me!? Do you know how worried I was!? It`s fucking late at night and there you are enjoying your time with your best friends. Completely forgetting that you have a boyfriend that is waiting for you!" You just look down because you know that he`s right.

"Baby I`m sorry I forgot to turn on my phone. Trust me I don`t have any intention to purposely ignore your calls and text.” You plead.

"Even though I`m jealous that your spending more time with Seohyun than me" You whispered the last part so he won't hear it but he did.

"What?" His eyes soften realizing what you feel and why you leave.

"What`s, what?" You asked him while your eyes are wandering around to avoid his gaze.

"N-nothing" He stuttered and you wonder what`s with the sudden change in his attitude.

"I`m sorry for raising my voice at you" He said.

"Did you drink?" You asked him softly before putting the bag on the couch.

"Yeah, a little I just need something to accompany me while waiting for you" He said and he peppered you with his kisses starting from your forehead, cheeks, lips, and neck.

Jungwoo doesn`t know what has gotten into him. He let his body talk, he caresses your back softly and the two of you stayed in the same position for at least a minute.

"I`m sorry I don`t know what has gotten into me. I`m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable" He said and clear his throat. You turn around to face him. You`re sad that you can`t give it to him but sooner or later you have to.

"No, don`t worry baby it`s okay." You tell him and you can see the disappointment that he tried to hide but you can see it in his eyes.

" I`ll leave it up to you if you wanna spend the night when the time is right." You`re happy that he`s trying to comfort you even though he didn`t get what he wants from you. That is why you`re insecure about yourself, what if he`s not happy anymore because he`s always waiting for you. You hate that you still take your time even though you`re ready.

"Just remember that whenever you`re comfortable we can make that move" Jungwoo sigh before giving you a peck on the lips.

"Let`s go to sleep now baby, you must be tired."

The two of you enter your share bedroom and after a minute of laying on the bed Jungwoo falls into a deep sleep.

-*-

You wakeup without Jungwoo on your side and you feel sadder at what happened last night. He leaves early today I thought he said, he doesn`t have any schedule for the whole week but why is he gone?

Does he already eat breakfast or he leaves without eating breakfast? Jungwoo knows that you hate it when he`s not eating breakfast you'll always say.

"It`s okay to skip lunch or dinner, breakfast is the most important but it doesn't mean that you should skip dinner and lunch just because I say it`s okay to skip it." and he will just stay quiet because he loves it when you`re showing your motherly side.

You`re cellphone vibrates and you saw a Dm notification from an unknown person. You quickly check it and you're surprised at what you saw. You don`t know if you should cry or you should be mad, you should be... You don`t know anymore.

You look at the picture again to make sure you didn`t saw the wrong person but it`s real, it`s Jungwoo with Seohyun they look happy together.

"Nothing is going on, right? hanging out with a girl is normal. Calm down Y/n, you know is Jungwoo is not capable of what you`re thinking." You said to yourself to make you calm down.

"Here we go again! Y/n stop being insecure about yourself" You whisper at yourself and after long thinking, you just let them maybe Jungwoo have something important to do with her and that`s not bad.

-*-

"Hey, I know right he`s super handsome and I`ve been watching his dramas and movies. Don`t tell this to win-win but they have similarities" Joy is fangirling through the phone and saying how much he loves this one actor name Im Siwan.

"I know right plus he`s attractive no doubt he`s your type" You stifled your laugh because you`re teasing her about her liking him.

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Joy said.

"I know that you`re rolling your eyes at me now even though I can`t see you Joy" You replied.

"Oh my god, how did you know? are you a psychic now Y/n, or are you stalking me? cause the last time I remember you`re a surgeon" She said changing her tone into a playful one.

"Oh, c`mon shut up!" The two of you laugh in unison when the door suddenly burst open.

"Joy I gotta go, bye love you." you end the call without letting joy bid her goodbye.

"I`m home" Jungwoo walks to the sofa to kiss you but you turn your head to the side making his soft lips land on your cheek.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked with disappointment in his eyes.

"Yes, I`m fine" You replied dryly.

"Uhm... Whom are you with earlier?" You asked with hesitation in your voice.

"I`m with the boys" He said while rubbing his temples softly.

So you`re lying now? How could you?

"Yeah right with the boys" and you smiled at him and he can see that something is off with you today.

"Can`t you just tell me what is wrong? I`m really tired right now I don`t want any problem to add up." He said making you offended.

"Okay, then I`m sorry if I`m causing you a problem just by asking you a simple question that you didn`t answer honestly. Now, Kim Jungwoo I`ll ask you the same question again I swear if you still answer the same thing I`ll leave!" He`s taken aback at your sudden outburst making him gulp. Yes, he lied it`s because he thinks that it will be better if you won`t know anything that happened earlier.

"Okay, I swear I`m with the boys but if you`re talking about this morning. I`m with Seohyun" You're trying so hard to control your jealousy right now because you want an explanation from him.

"W-why?" you stuttered.

"It`s because, because..." Jungwoo doesn`t know how to explain it but you need to know.

"It`s because of what Kim Jungwoo? are you fucking cheating on me!?" Your patience can`t wait anymore but you didn`t mean what you have just said to him.

"W-what!? of course not. Why would I do that when I`m completely contented just by having you." He exclaimed.

"Now let me explain and hear me out." He explained everything that happened this morning and you feel guilty for thinking that he`s cheating on you.

He said that he meets Seohyun this morning because he wants to personally talk to her. To make her stay away from him because Seohyun is hitting on him despite knowing that he has a girlfriend.

-*-

"I`m sorry" You whispered while caressing Jungwoo`s hand. You gave him a short kiss on his forehead before standing up.

"You don`t need to be sorry, baby." You`re startled at his voice. Oh, you know how much you like hearing Jungwoo`s morning voice.

"You know that I can wait until you are ready right? because that is not the reason why we are in this relationship." Jungwoo taps the other side of the bed signaling you to lay on it again.

"I know baby but I can`t let you be like this you always leave everything up to me even though we`re dating for years now." You scoot closer to his embrace.

"You don`t need to rush yourself we can do it albeit slowly" Jungwoo said making you more comfortable in his embrace.

"I love you, Jungwoo" You said.

"I love you too. By the way, get ready I`ll be picking you up at 8:00 pm" He said.

He`s waiting for you to greet him but nothing. He wonders if you forget what day it is. But no, you didn`t forget it, it`s is a special occasion for the two of you.

"Okay baby" you smile sheepishly at him.

Tomorrow is your 3rd anniversary and you`re more than happy to celebrate it with him.

-*-

You wear your favorite black dress, Which goes above your knee and perfectly hugging your curves.

"Tonight is the night Y/n, no need to be nervous" You said to yourself at the exact time you heard a car honk outside your house. You hurriedly go downstairs and you see Jungwoo leaning on his car with a bright smile.

"You look gorgeous as ever, babe." He said before opening the car door for you.

"Where are we going tonight?" You asked him still acting like you forget what day it is today.

"At the club, they are waiting for us today are you sure you didn`t forget anything?" he tried to point out and he`s so obvious that he`s looking for an answer.

"No why?" you asked.

"Nothing" he smiled and you wonder how long you can keep up with this thing.

"Baby we`re here" Jungwoo said and he gets out of the car to open the door for you.

"Thank you" you kiss him and the two of you go inside the club.

"What's up dude!" you heard mark greeting Jungwoo with a fist bomb.

"Y/n! Y/n" You heard Joy and Irene calling you by whispering your name.

"Tonight is the night there`s no more turning back since today is a special occasion for you and Jungwoo." Irene said and she gives you a teasing wink.

"I know that`s why I`m all dolled up today" You said and you met Jungwoo`s intense gaze. To the point that you can`t help but blush, you approach Jungwoo and he opens his arms for you to hug him.

"Happy anniversary baby I love you so much" And he pulls you into a more tight hug you can`t help but smile while inhaling his manly scent.

"I thought you forgot about it" He leaves a kiss on your forehead and you look up at him.

"I would never forget this day Jungwoo, this is a very important day for us" You smiled and he let go of you to grab a drink.

"C`mon guys let`s have a toast for the two love birds here!" Jaehyun said making Mayjun stifle her smile because of Jaehyun`s cuteness.

You raised your glass too for everyone to follow when the guy that is with Seohyun said something disrespectful that makes Jungwoo`s blood boil in anger.

"Who is that sexy girl?" The guy said at Seohyun.

"Oh, that? she`s Y/n. Now, can we stop talking about her it`s annoying

"She looks sexy I wonder how good she is in bed" The guy said.

Jungwoo heard it and that is his breaking point he grabs the collar of the guy making everyone shocked.

"What did you just fucking say!?" Jungwoo asked and he can`t control his emotion and everything happened so fast. The guy punches him and the guy got punch by Jungwoo and he fell to the ground.

Doyoung and Jaehyun quickly hold Jungwoos Shoulder to stop him from fighting the guy.

"Babe, Calm down" You look at him worriedly and the little cut on his lips is bleeding.

"Watch your man!" The guy said with a perverted gaze on you.

"You should watch your mouth!" Jungwoo fights back and he tried to remove Jaehyun and Doyoung's hands on him. And he did it, he punch the guy for one last time before grabbing your wrist to run away from the crowd.

Your friends look confused but they managed to block the guy that is ready to chase the both of you.

"Kim Jungwoo!" You warn him but his giggles echo through the halls and you laugh with him while happily running.

"How can you laugh right now when you`re completely hurt?" and the two of you stop in front of the elevator and you go inside it. He looks at you as if you`re his whole world.

"Because I`m always happy when I`m with you" He drags you into a room and you`re heavy breathing right now.

"I checked us in, in this hotel we can rest here for the night and also that door." he point to a white door. “It is connected to Jaehyun`s and Mayjun`s room so it`s easy for us to communicate and their room is connected to Johnny and Yoona`s room.” He said and kisses you on the lips. You`re not even shocked at why he knows the hotel so well, it`s because cause he owns it.

"C`mon I`ll treat your cut on the lips" and you drag him in the bathroom to clean it.

You lean more closer to him, even though the two of you is dating now for three years he's always fluttered when ever you`re being affectionate. Just in time he quickly pulled you into a passionate kiss making you shocked.

"Nobody`s watching I got you all alone no Interruptions, it`s hard for me to hold my own and hold back" He said and his forehead is leaning to mine.

"Tonight I don`t want you to hold back baby" You whispered in his ears seductively.

"Before we hit the road if you ain`t ready to go, just tell me that you`re sure." He said with sincerity in his voice.

"Tonight you can do whatever you want" You said back.

"Just wanna make sure, you`re sure" He smiled and he's now touching your legs slowly.

"Remember when you said to me that "If you wanna spend the night when the time is right". That night is tonight baby" You hold his hands slowly guiding them to your waist.

"The distance between you and me, is it okay this close?" He asked you while slowly taking his time to understand what`s happening right now.

"I will keep up with your step, so nothing to worry about" He added.

With that, he kisses you passionately everything about the kiss says it all. Love, lust, and needs.. Jungwoo carries you to the bed and he loosens the tie of his suit.

"Ain`t no pressure but we can keep this right here if you want me to stop baby" He said again. Oh gosh, why does he always ask for your consent.

"Tonight I`m so tired of making you stop and denying you baby so there`s no turning back" The softness and neediness in your voice are so obvious.

"If you`re down and you`re ready to rock, I`m not gonna make you stop." He replied seductively making you bite your lips in anticipation.

"I can`t hold back now baby" He said.

"Then don`t hold back" you said.

"That`s it, enough talking, and let`s do this"

He covers the two of you with the blanket and he makes sure that his name is the only thing that will come out of your beautiful lips.

Meanwhile, in the other room, someone is complaining.

"What the fuck!? I know that my two best friend is enjoying their time but I need to sleep too" Mayjun said covering herself with a pillow making Jaehyun laugh at her.

"Shut up Jung Jaehyun!" And he did stay quiet.

"Okay, now I have an idea mayjun to make you sleep" Jaehyun peppered Mayjun with kisses.

"Oh, shut up your horny ass jaehyun!" and mayjun throws the pillow at him.

"C`mon Kim Jungwoo! I swear shut the fuck up!" Jaehyun yelled so that you and Jungwoo can hear them.

-*-

You and Jungwoo laugh at them and you clean yourself and change with new clothes.

"I`m sorry! you can now sleep peacefully!" You yelled back at them making Jungwoo laugh and nod his head a little.

"Thank you, babe, or else my boyfriend won`t stop bothering me" Mayjun yelled making the four of you laugh.

"Let`s sleep now baby you must be tired because of daddy" Jungwoo said with a smirk.

"Stop with the dirty jokes Kim Jungwoo" you slap his arms playfully.

"Okay, okay good night I love you" He said with sweetness in his voice.

"I love you too baby only you" and you kiss him on the lips.

Consent is one of the most important things in a relationship and you`re lucky that you have Kim Jungwoo the one and only man of your life and will always be. And that`s how your constant or endless love relationship with Jungwoo last more than you could Imagine.

#kim jungwoo #jungwoo #nct 127 smut #nct 127 #nct dream #nctu #jungwoo smut #jungwoo angst #jungwoo fluff #wayv

87 notes · View notes

cotncandyboifics · 3 years

Text

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?

AO3 Link

My Main Masterpost

Pairing(s): Romantic Dukexiety

Word count: 6.9k (Remus would be proud)

Story summary: A pseudo-songfic; 5 times Remus called Virgil high, and one time Virgil called Remus high.

Content Warning: Marijuana, Characters high on Marijuana, Description of the experience of being high on marijuana, Food, descriptions of eating, descriptions of preparing food, vague anxiety descriptions, insomnia, cursing, Remus Being Remus,(let me know if i missed anything please!)

Author notes: this is just. dorky fluff stuff. Idek lol. Enjoy

...

Virgil grimaced vaguely at his phone, which had begun to buzz periodically. More specifically; Virgil was glaring at the displayed name at the top of the screen, communicating who was currently calling him.

TrashMan 42069 is calling...

Remus never called Virgil. As in... never never. And even if he did, it was 7 am; Virgil sincerely doubted that Remus I-wake-up-at-2-pm-every-day Prince had ever been awake at this time of morning in his life.

The call didn't stop after 5 buzzes, and so Virgil picked his phone up, hurriedly accepting the call and pressing the phone to his face.

"uuum, hiiii...." Remus drawled from the other end of the line. Virgil scoffed under his breath. "I'll have a.... extra large cheese pizza, and another extra large with... extra anchovies...." Remus continued. Virgil genuinely couldn't tell whether Remus thought he was actually talking to a Pizza parlor employee or not, but more pertinently, he was very much disconcerted by the way Remus was acting. He had half a mind to ask if he'd hit his head on something, but... Virgil was gradually growing used to Remus' antics, and every time he'd asked out of his own anxieties in the past, Remus had been More Than Fine. He pushed his nerviness aside with a heavy sigh.

"Re, what are you doing?" his voice came out a bit husky, and Virgil realized this was the first time he'd spoken that day.

Remus didn't reply for a few long moments. Of course, this had exactly nothing to do with the fact that he was having a gay panic over the sound of Virgil's morning voice, which - again - was decidedly not happening.

"Haay Virge," Remus scarcely strung his words together, and they fell on top of each other as they rolled off his tongue in a quite klutzy fashion. It was almost soothing, in its way. "I thought if I pretended that you... that I was... that I thought you were a pizza man, then I'd forget to do... why I called you." Remus scrunched his nose to himself, taking his time to find his words, but eventually he got there. Virgil had been struck with realization part way through Remus' rambling, and was now scowling as if Remus could hear his facial expression through the phone.

"Remus, are you seriously high right now?" Virgil hissed.

"I mean... I think so... I definitely remember..." he pointedly enunciated each syllable of 'definitely remember,' before seemingly getting distracted by his thoughts. Virgil cleared his throat to prompt him. "...uhhhh... I don't wanna call you. Why did I... think that was...good." Virgil couldn't tell if Remus was talking to himself or not.

"Dude, go take a shower and... like, drink some water or something. I'll see you at work later. Please come in a better mental state than you're in now." Virgil hung up, setting his phone back down on his desk face-down, resuming his script read-through of the next production being put on at the theater he worked for.

Several hours later, Virgil was adjusting a few bolts on a light fixture, one of many all lined up on the long bar that he'd lowered from the fly deck earlier. He and Remus were stage technicians, and had both worked at this theater together for nearly two years now.

Remus burst through the set of doors off stage left, arms wide and his custom green tool belt slung over one shoulder like a sash. He bowed a bit dramatically to the stage and everyone on it (which, at the moment, was only Virgil; they were the only two in the theater, since Virgil regularly showed up early and Remus was here early too for once for... some reason) before stepping in long strides toward a burnt out light fixture, a few feet away from Virgil.

"You good?" Virgil murmured, feigning intense focus on a particular few wires. Remus had learned by now that Virgil was a man of few words and many thoughts; there was always a lot more to what he was saying than the small string of words he poured out.

"Heh. Sorry about that. I woke up in a funk, and though a wake and bake might... help. Didn't anticipate calling... you, though." he rubbed the back of his neck a bit sheepishly, focusing his line of sight on the company logo branded into the lighting fixture. "Can't say it won't happen again though! If I call you when I'm that stoned it means I really, really like you," Remus waggled his eyebrows, winking (specifically to highlight his sarcasm - a wink was a telltale sign that Remus' words were entirely a joke) at an utterly deadpan Virgil.

"Sure." Virgil paused for a moment. "Why're you here so early though?"

"Huh?" Remus replied, finishing twisting the bulb out of the fixture before looking up at Virgil, who was now presenting his phone screen to Remus, showing him the time. "Damn! High me can get punctuality! I thought it was three, not two... I was wondering why you were the only one here!" Remus had resumed his adjusting of the light fixture, hunkered over and partially upside down in a way that made Virgil's stomach churn. He only grunted in reply.

...

A recent sound design project had Virgil and Remus talking a lot more than usual - nearly every day. Virgil thought Remus would be a massive pain in the ass to work with, but he was a surprisingly diligent project partner. His ideas were often... eccentric, and at times too far-fetched, but they served as an excellent foundation. They clashed well with Virgil's taste and general groundedness (by extension, a minuscule helping of insecurity) that he brought to the table. They'd worked together over discord for the last few days, voice chatting and messaging through brainstorming sessions and developing their project.

It was 5pm, and Virgil was just beginning chopping some potatoes for a mash dinner when a message notification popped up on his phone.

TrashMan 42069 im tiiiired. gotta get up early to head into the theater, can we work tmrw mornin instead of tn ? wanna have an early night

Virgil smirked to himself, typing out a response.

since when do you sleep before 1am

but like, go off ig

see ya in the ams

Remus never responded, and Virgil resumed his chopping, and soon was plopping the potato portions into a pre-simmering pot.

Night arrived and fell entirely, leaving Virgil alone with his thoughts in bed, staring at the ceiling desperately as if it would put him to sleep. His bouts of insomnia made for horrible company, and yet another reminder of just how awfully lonely he truly was. He rolled onto his side, facing his bedside table just as his phone lit up and started buzzing.

Remus. Again. Odd. And it was... 11pm, according to the bleary text in the top corner of Virgil's phone screen. Not too bad, I might get to sleep by 2, Virgil noted to himself. He accepted the call before his drowsy brain could think through the decision.

"Shit, hi," Remus breathed. The usual sharp edge of his brash voice was gone, leaving soft, rolling words in its wake. Virgil sighed to himself.

"Hi."

"Did I awaken you from the sleep? I didn't think you'd answer..." Virgil recognized the drawl in Remus' voice then, but he didn't mind it so much. He was too tired to be grumpy about this.

"No, I couldn't sleep. I thought you were having an early night?" Virgil ran his fingers through his hair, rolling back onto his back.

"Ah... right... I told you that..." Remus spoke slowly, as if carrying each word, each syllable the way a mother carries her child. Virgil smiled softly into the darkness. "I was feeling like shit, so... I was just gonna, toke up. Knew I... wouldn't be able to... do any of the project... like this."

"Gotcha," Virgil mumbled. He had closed his eyes, letting himself ease into the sound of Remus' uncharacteristically gentle voice.

Remus started humming on the other end of the line, and that only proved to relax Virgil more. He felt himself grow heavy in the bed, limbs going slack and muscles and tendons untensing.

"Are you still alive?" Remus spoke suddenly. Virgil hummed.

"Yeah, I think so," Virgil said. "Your humming is putting me to sleep," he laughed lightly. Remus grew silent. "Uh, that's not a bad thing," Virgil resolved, "I have a hard time... sleeping, sometimes. Nothing usually helps. That's... uh, helping. If you wanna keep... humming, or talking..." As he spoke, Virgil realized just how weird what he was saying - what he was asking for - truly was. He cleared his throat. "Nevermind."

"I have nothing better to do right now, I can hum you to sleep, Virge," Remus' careful voice replied, ever so slowly. "If that's... what... you meant."

"Um," Virgil chewed on his hoodie sleeve absent-mindedly. "Yeah," he finally huffed, "I'd... like that."

Virgil anticipated a lot more awkwardness at this entire situation from Remus. But Remus was a generally oblivious person to awkwardness, seemingly especially so when he was stoned. He almost immediately resumed his humming, and Virgil was out like a light less than ten minutes later.

"Virgie? Did you go... fall into the sleep?" Remus asked after a while. When he was met with silence other than subtle, even breaths, he smiled to himself. He'd helped someone, even while he was like this. He truly didn't want to be doing anything else right now, so he just kept humming into the phone for a while. Maybe it'll help Virgil sleep even better.

The thoughts that an intoxicated mind produces truly are an enigma.

...

Remus and Virgil's sound design project was one of three being proposed to the directors and head technicians for the next production. The three were created as presentations, just the general idea of the design put together so that the one chosen of the three could be put into proper production by the entire sound team.

Virgil's and Remus' won.

They celebrated by indulging in a pizza lunch together before they were to head into work. A large, half pepperoni and half anchovies.

"Are those things actually good, or do you just eat them because everyone else thinks they're gross?" Virgil asked, chasing the floppy end of his next slice with his mouth. Remus grinned with a glint in his eye that Virgil knew all too well; it meant one thing, and one thing only. Mischief.

"Whah if ih's bof?" Remus spoke through his mouthful of anchovy pizza. Virgil scrunched his nose, punching Remus in the shoulder.

"Chew your food and don't talk with your mouth full, that's hecka nasty dude," Virgil laughed. Remus rolled his eyes in a very unconvincing manner, considering he was still smiling.

"Yef, mom," Remus spoke again through his unfinished mouthful. Virgil shoulder bumped him, and finally took the first bite of his next slice.

Not a week later, Virgil woke up rather late. Well, late for him; around 7am. He slapped a hand to his forehead, sitting up a little too fast. He set his hands on the bed beside himself to try and fight the onset of dizziness. After a few deep breaths and shaking his head and hair out, he reached for his phone.

No notifications, other than 2 missed calls from Remus, at 3:12am. Virgil sighed, laughing to himself slightly. He opened his messaging app.

why do u only call me when ur high lmao

...

Virgil was at the grocery store, milling through the dairy aisle, when his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He was surprised to see Remus' contact as the displayed caller ID, although not that surprised. Remus had called Virgil a few times while he wasn't high since Virgil had sent that message, usually to discuss theater-related things. Though, it wasn't like him to call at 8 in the morning. Virgil pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey Re, what's up?" Virgil said as he started checking the expiration dates on a few cartons of heavy whipping cream.

"Virgieee... Are you walking around with no shoes on?" Remus' voice was calm and subdued.

"Uh-" Virgil was so caught off guard by the question -and the petname- that he literally looked down at his feet to check. Nope, he'd definitely put on his black high tops that morning. "No? I'm at the grocery store. Wh... what?"

"I saw someone," Remus blurted, speaking slowly. Oh, right. Virgil's lips tightened into a annoyed-and-disappointed expression. Of course he's just baked again. "They looked like you, kinda... no purple hair... but jacket- or, i mean, sweater... uhhhm, no... what's it called?"

"My hoodie?" Virgil offered, glancing down at his purple patchwork hoodie.

"Yeah, yeah, that," Remus drew in a long heavy breath. "they had a hoodie." Remus stopped then, as if awaiting Virgil's explanation expectantly. Virgil scoffed.

"So. You saw someone walking around with no shoes on, who looked kind of like me only based on the fact that they were wearing a hoodie?" Virgil recited.

"Well, yeah!" Remus said as if offended that Virgil needed to ask. "They were black shoes, and... and the hoodie was... just like your black plaid one."

"The one that I like... never wear? How do you even... have you even seen me wear that?" Virgil didn't know why he was asking; he must have if he knew of it.

"You did," Remus started slowly, "one time. The pizza time. Said your other one was dirty." Remus spoke like a small child who was being scolded and felt really bad for what they'd done. "And I thought... maybe you'd... dyed your hair back. I don't know why." Virgil sighed.

"Okay? Well, I promise I have my shoes on, and my hair is still purple, and I'm not wearing that hoodie today. I'm at the grocery store right now." Virgil's voice was harsh and quick, and he immediately felt guilt drop into his stomach like a brick. He had no real reason to be this cross with Remus... he was just a bit cranky that morning. "Can I... pick you up anything while I'm here?" Virgil immediately cringed at his attempt at amendment. What a weird thing to say-

"Ooh! Are you at Trader Joe's?" Remus' voice had a newfound excitement. Virgil smiled to himself, glad that his fumbled recovery wasn't really very fumbled, thanks to Remus'... Remus-y-ness. "They have these chocolate truffles that are soooo good..."

Remus gave moderately incoherent directions to where the truffles were shelved, though Virgil knew his way around the store enough that it didn't matter. After a few minutes, he came upon a small red carboard box with cursive gold lettering and a picture of a chocolate truffle on the front.

"Found them. I... text me your address? I can be over in... well, soon. I guess I don't know where you live." Virgil invited himself over extremely awkwardly.

"You got it, sunshine! See you soon," Remus' tone was a lot lighter and he spoke more quickly and sharply, as he did when he wasn't stoned out of his mind. Perhaps the prospect of having his favorite chocolate truffles had granted him some mental clarity.

The call ended, and moments later, two texts came through from Remus. The first was an address, as promised. The second left Virgil with a familiar sense of blind confusion.

ill start heating the milk

Virgil slid his phone back into his pocket, humming to himself. He'd gotten all the items on his grocery list already, so he headed to checkout. Soon after, he was loading a couple bags into the back seat of his car, setting the two boxes of truffles for Remus on the passenger seat as he strapped in.

The drive was surprisingly short to Remus'; less than ten minutes. He triple checked the address when he pulled up to a three story Victorian house, three doors lined up at the top of a set of marble steps.

He took a breath or two, staring down at the boxes of truffles in his hands and reassessing his situation. You're standing in front of Remus' house like a massive dork because you felt bad for getting annoyed at him on the phone. You decided completely on a whim to bring him some chocolate - of all things, but at least he's the one who specifically asked for it - and show up to his house???? his house. Yeah, this totally isn't weird at all.

Virgil took the steps two at a time, ringing the doorbell at the door farthest to the right. He heard the chime from inside, followed shortly by a shrill screech. A few moments later, there was stomping sounds, and Remus came into view through the window on the door, trampling down the stairs like an eight year old rushing to an ice cream truck. He made it to the door, unlocking it and flinging it open.

"VIRGIE!" Remus yelped, looking ready to bear hug Virgil, but was quickly distracted into marveling over the boxes of truffles Virgil was clinging to his chest. "You bought two!? Gods, this is better than Christmas! Get in here," Remus stepped behind the door, allowing Virgil to step inside.

"Did you... screech, a minute ago?" Virgil asked, looking around. He and Remus were standing in what served as a tiny, tiny foyer, a small rectangle of flooring that gave direct way to a rather large flight of wooden stairs. Virgil could see a shoe cubby and coat rack at the top of the steps, and started stepping up them cautiously as Remus closed the door behind him.

"Yeah. People usually can't hear if I say words, like 'COMING!', so I just kinda... scream. It works!" Remus was tromping up the steps a few stairs below him, and Virgil quickened his pace.

"Got it..."

Virgil slipped his shoes off at the top, stuffing them in the cubby. "See? Shoes," he gestured to the shoes now fit snug in one of the cubbies. Remus smiled a bit too wide, nodding his head harshly. "I also don't have that hoodie on today," Virgil spread his arms, displaying his usual patchwork hoodie.

"I'm mainly glad your hair is still purple. It looks h- I mean, I like it." Remus coughed slightly to himself before stepping around Virgil, starting to sock-slide down the hardwood floor hall. "Kitchen's through here! The milk should be ready!"

Virgil laughed to himself, stepping into the hall to follow Remus' trail. He came upon a slightly ajar door, and seeing a glimpse of a stovetop, he slid into the room.

"I also made some whipped cream!" Remus gestured behind himself at a bowl of whipped cream on the counter as he stirred at a simmering pot of milk.

"What's... what's it for?" Virgil asked slowly, feeling like he missed something entirely.

"Oh! Right," Remus seemed to realize he hadn't filled Virgil in. "The truffles are so frickin good by themselves, but I discovered - sort of by accident, don't worry about it - that they make the best hot chocolate. And I... well, I figured we could have some!" Remus spun around at the last part, saucer of milk in hand and smiling a bit maniacally at Virgil. He stepped over to the counter where there were two mugs beside the bowl of whipped cream. "Bring them things on over here. This show can't go on without the starring role."

Virgil shuffled over to Remus, setting the truffles down beside the whipped cream bowls. He felt the need to speak, but couldn't think of any suitable words.

"one or two? I usually do two, I like mine real rich," Remus said, tearing open one of the boxes of truffles.

"Two," Virgil coughed. Remus smiled brightly at him again.

Virgil observed Remus' process. He plopped two truffles into the bottom of each mug - in the process, popping one into his mouth and offering another to Virgil, who accepted - before pouring the steaming milk over them, nearly to the brim of both mugs. Virgil hadn't expected the truffles to float, but there were two bobbing brown balls rolling around on the surface of the steaming milk in each mug. Remus retrieved a small spoon, stirring gingerly as the truffles rapidly shrunk and dissipated into the darkening milk.

"Will you grab the chocolate syrup? It's in the door of the fridge," Remus commented, beginning to spoon whipped cream onto the surface of the hot chocolate. "Oh, and- nevermind, I got it." Remus reached into a drawer beside him, pulling out a small cheese grater.

Virgil returned with the chocolate syrup, setting it beside Remus' arm.

"Check this out," Remus said, pulling another truffle from the box. He started grating it over the whipped cream dollops, and it gently snowed chocolate shavings. "Isn't it pretty?" Remus glanced at Virgil as he switched mugs.

"Yeah," Virgil breathed, watching the little flakes fall and settle on the surface of the whipped cream.

Virgil felt himself becoming infinitely more relaxed and less anxious the longer he basked in Remus' presence. It had always been this way with him, although maybe it was slightly amplified now that they were alone. He leaned himself on Remus, chin on his shoulder. Remus didn't react, other than softening his movements significantly, as though he were afraid he'd scare Virgil away.

"Yes, yes, yes! Man, this is the good stuff!" Remus exclaimed as he squirted a trail of chocolate syrup over the flakey rain on the whipped cream mountains. Virgil chuckled, reaching for the mug nearest him. "Hey! Not yet!" Remus batted his hand away lightly.

"What else could you possibly want on hot chocolate? Come on, it's getting cold," Virgil whined. Remus only smirked.

"Pantry, top shelf, you'll know it when you see it," He spoke, glancing at the cupboard door a few paces away. Virgil stepped toward the pantry cautiously, opening the door slowly. There, presented proudly on the top shelf, was a bag of mini marshmallows.

"Oh fuck yeah," Virgil reached up, realizing he was far too short to reach the bag. "Uh, one sec," he said, stepping entirely into the pantry, reaching up with all his might. Even stretching as far as he could, he barely reached the base of the top shelf. Remus chuckled from over by the mugs.

"Here, let me help." Remus came up behind him, making to reach over Virgil's head just as Virgil tried to step out of the pantry and out of Remus' way. Virgil essentially walked right into Remus' chest, face to face with his stubbled Adam's apple as he reached for the mallows easily.

Virgil was frozen in place, feeling his face grow hot. Remus looked down at him, suddenly realizing their physical predicament.

"Shit! Sorry!" Remus stepped back, mallows in hand, giving Virgil more than enough room to step out.

"s'fine, don't worry," Virgil mumbled, cheeks red and staring wide-eyed at the floor. Remus laughed a bit nervously, stepping back over to the mugs and beckoning for Virgil to follow.

Once their mugs were properly marshmallow'd (although not s'more'd; neither wanted to go full Ned Flanders on this rainy Saturday afternoon) Remus led Virgil out of the kitchen and further down the hall, to the door at the end which opened up into Remus' bedroom.

Virgil didn't know what he was expecting Remus' personal living space to look like, but whatever it was it wasn't this. There was a very cozy-looking bed that took up most of the floorspace, and a very soft patterned rug at the foot. Against the far wall, beside a wide windowsill, sat an equally cozy-looking loveseat. There were blankets and pillows absolutely everywhere, crowding the loveseat, covering the bed and turning the windowsill into a cozy sitting nook. There was no other furniture, aside from a rustic-looking wooden bedside table that matched a small, overstuffed bookshelf. The walls were entirely covered from floor to ceiling with posters, art pieces, the like; but more than anything, sketches. Scores upon scores of sketches covered every wall, pinned up with colorful tacks and a certain few of them connected to others with small segments of colored string. As well, strung up on some of the hardier tacks were a few strings of fairy lights. Those, plus the salt lamp set on the bedside table made for some extremely lovely mood lighting.

"Woah," was all Virgil could say as he looked around in wonder.

"This is where the magic happens," Remus shoulder shimmied, sidling around Virgil to sit cross-legged on his bed, beginning to nurse his cocoa as he set down the boxes of truffles. Apparently they were far too precious to keep in the kitchen, where Remus' brother could very well steal them.

"Yeah..." Virgil stepped up to a particularly large sketch, one whose tack was connected with string to several others. Something occurred to him. "Are these..." He gestured vaguely at the walls, "are these all yours?"

"All the sketches, yeah," Remus breathed, hiding behind his mug as he took a large sip. He watched Virgil over the brim as the man stared in complete awe.

"That's..." Virgil couldn't think of the right words, and so drew a large sip of his own cocoa. Remus was right, the truffles made for an incredible hot chocolate. He sighed slightly, smiling to himself.

Remus finished his cocoa, tilting his head back to slurp at the residue and remaining whipped cream as he leaned back on his bed slightly. Virgil smirked behind his own mug, licking at his whipped cream.

Remus set his mug beside the salt lamp on his bedside table, beckoning for Virgil to sit with him on the bed. Virgil did, cross-legged an leaning against a pillow that was propped against the wall. He glanced to the windowsill nook.

"You got something of a view," He murmured, craning his neck slightly to see out the window. Remus giggled.

"Yeah! That's where I saw mx. no-shoes earlier." He smiled at Virgil giddily.

"Oh, I see." Virgil smiled back. "Well, I'm here now, purple hair and truffles in the complete package," he spread his arms slightly, and Remus' smile turned into a full grin. He retrieved a truffle from the open box and popped it into his mouth, then throwing a second one at Virgil. It hit him in the chest, and he picked it up, starting to gnaw at it. "You were right, these are super fricking good," Virgil mentioned, taking another large gulp of his cocoa.

"I know right!? Where have you been all my life, beloved truffles," he picked up the unopened box and held it high in one hand, beginning to serenade it. Virgil laughed at him, slapping him on the arm.

"You're a massive dork."

Remus' eyes glinted. "Well I-" He stopped short, the glint disappearing as soon as it returned. Virgil watched his face. No, no dick jokes right now. He gulped and cleared his throat, retracting his arm and pulling out another two truffles from the other box. He held one of them out to Virgil on the palm of his hand. Virgil took it carefully, holding it between his fingers as he took the final sip of his own cocoa.

"Here," Remus reached his empty hand out to take Virgil's mug, setting it beside his own behind them on the bedside table. Remus resumed chewing his truffle, watching the comforter shift with his weight as he leaned back and forth slightly.

"Can I?" Virgil pointed to a few more sketches over the head of the bed. Remus nodded. Virgil got up onto his knees, nearly pressing his chest into the wall as he looked at the many sketches.

Remus got up onto his knees too, sort of knee-waddling over to Virgil's side. Virgil's eyes continued scanning the sketches before they fell onto a particularly familiar looking one. His breath caught in his chest. He reached up to it, tracing the familiar purple plaid of his very own patchwork hoodie. Remus cleared his throat from beside him.

They both spoke at the same time.

"Um, you should probably know that-"

"Remus, I wanted to tell you-"

Virgil turned to look at Remus then, and belatedly realized just how close together they were. Remus' lips were pursed, and Virgil could see that he was chewing at the inside corner of his mouth.

Virgil drew in a breath to speak as Remus moved slightly closer. Pursing his lips shut, he changed his mind, deciding to take a risk.

He surged forward suddenly, shutting his eyes. Remus met him in the middle, and just like that, they were kissing.

It was soft and still at first, lips pressed firmly into each other's. Remus reached one hand up, gently cupping Virgil's cheek.

Virgil pulled back suddenly, but Remus' hand didn't leave his cheek. "I-I'm sorry, I really should've- asked- I meant to say things, i mean, before-" He stopped as Remus set his other hand on Virgil's waist. His face looked incredibly soft and gentle, lips parted slightly as he looked at Virgil like he'd hung the moon.

Virgil intertwined his fingers on the back of Remus' neck, and Remus pulled Virgil back into the kiss.

...

two days later, Virgil was up late again, unable to push himself into unconsciousness. His body was restless even if his mind was exhausted - or perhaps it was the other way around, his mind restless and his body exhausted? He really couldn't tell.

It was nearing 3am, and he was sitting curled in on himself, hugging his knees as he watched the stars out his window. His phone, face-down on the bed beside him, began buzzing.

He tilted his head, sighing as he fought an oncoming wave of exhaustion. He picked up the phone, flipping it to see the caller ID, although part of him hoped knew who it would be.

He pressed the answer button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey, Remus."

He heard Remus gasp on the other end of the line, before murmuring a small "hi."

"I... are you not sleeping good tonight?" Remus' curious and confounded expression was almost palpable through the phone. Virgil smiled lazily, recognizing Remus' demeanor immediately.

"No, I'm not, but that's okay. The stars are pretty tonight." Virgil paused, scratching at his chin a bit. "Are you stoned again?"

A long pause. "Yeah," Remus blurted. "Sorry I... I nodded, but then, I realized... you can't see me."

Virgil smiled to himself again. "It's okay."

A long, comfortable silence followed. Virgil was too tired to feel the obligatory need to make conversation, especially with Remus. He'd be a fool to expect any awkwardness after a make out session with the spontaneous blob that is Remus, but he'd still been nervous to see or speak with him again. That all melted away now though, exhaustion and vague contentment taking its place.

"Virgie - uh, Virgil?" Remus piped up after a while, rousing Virgil from his trance.

"Yeah?"

"Do you, remember..." Remus trailed off, and didn't speak for long enough that Virgil almost responded to prompt him. "Did you come to my house, and also, kiss me, or was that a dream?" Even through his stoned lilt, Remus spoke a bit quickly, like he was trying to shove the words out of his mouth before he could change his mind.

Virgil chuckled. "That wasn't a dream, Remus. Yes, I remember." I don't think I could forget it if i wanted to tried.

"Oh." Virgil could hear the smile in Remus' voice. "Can we- I mean, do you want to, uh, do it again? Some time?" he didn't sound hesitant, no; just hopeful, and perhaps as though he felt like he needed to be excessively gentle. It was the sweetest tone Virgil had ever heard.

"I'd like that," Virgil smiled.

Remus sigh-laughed on the other end of the line, and Virgil's smile grew. "Cool," Remus said almost under his breath.

Virgil didn't do it consciously, but a big, loud yawn decided to worm its way out of him at that moment.

"Are you sleepy Virgie?" Remus asked in a strange partial baby voice. Virgil snorted at him.

"I'm literally always tired, so if the answer was no, that would be more concerning," Virgil quipped, but his voice sounded spent. Remus giggled a little.

"Can I hum to you?" Remus asked, smile still discernable in his tone. Virgil felt something warm spark in his chest, like a lighter being flicked and lit.

"I'd like that a lot, too," Virgil murmured, curling up beneath his covers as Remus started to hum.

He was out like a light in less than 5 minutes.

And if Remus stayed on the line for another half hour or so, humming to him and listening to his even breaths, who was to know?

...

Virgil felt like an idiot.

That wasn't an entirely rare feeling to him, but this particular time was different.

Despite his general edginess and rebel-against-society vibe, Virgil had never touched a drop of alcohol or gone near any intoxicating substance in his life. Until today.

He'd been Remus' boyfriend for almost three months now, and it was everything he could have hoped; haphazard night trips to convenience stores that ended in oddly romantic motorcycle rides, the odd gestures Remus's... eccentric mind came up with, and Virgil was in dire need of more hoodies he could let Remus steal. All this, but Virgil was still Virgil. He still had his anxiety disorder, he still dealt with insomnia. Though, sleeping in Remus' arms was proving an impressively effective remedy to the latter.

So, when Remus suggested Virgil look into the medical benefits of marijuana in regards to both anxiety and insomnia, Virgil was... intrigued, to say the least.

He did find a lot of supporting evidence through his research, and... well, he thought, what the hell, right? If Remus smokes it pretty much every day, and if this many articles are claiming its reliability... what harm would it do to try?

So here he was, sitting on his couch, having taken a couple of edibles, waiting for the high to hit him. His hand ghosted over his jean pocket, assuring himself that his phone was there in case he needed to call 911 or something. He was trying to do breathing exercises to maintain some sort of calm, but sitting still wasn't his strong suit.

He'd chosen edibles since he didn't want to have to deal with the whole... smoke and coughing side of things. And he really didn't like the sound of vaping. He figured this would be fine as an introductory experience, but he realized that he had no clue when the edibles would kick in.

He pulled out his phone, typing into google.

Marijuana edibles generally take 30 minutes to an hour to induce any psychological effects on the consumer.

Oh.

Well, he figured, there was no way he could sit still for that long.

He stood, deciding he'd make himself some dinner. Something to busy his hands with, and the leftovers he'd planned on heating up would last another day or two anyways.

He settled on some fettuccine alfredo, fairly simple but one of his childhood favorites. He had a feeling he'd appreciate the comfort food while he was... in an altered state of mind.

Virgil, however, hadn't accounted for the fact that he had an almost unnaturally high metabolism, and before he'd even gotten the pasta in the boiling water, things started to get a little funky.

The first thing Virgil noticed, before he'd even registered that the edibles were kicking in, was how he could hear his thoughts. Not literally, but it felt as though his stream-of-consciousness thoughts were more slow and clear to him, as though he was speaking directly to himself.

As he thought this, his vision suddenly came into alarming focus, and felt oddly like an unstable skyscraper. He stared down at his feet, and they seemed so far away, the floor looked far too far away... He gripped the counter nearest to him, trying to steady himself even if he wasn't actually falling. He didn't feel like he had any control over his center of balance, and even if he was mostly stock-still as a pencil, he thought he might fall down at any moment, down the many stories of building beneath him. But there was no stories beneath him... it was only his legs, which he didn't remember being so long. He stared a little harder at his feet. They weren't abnormally far away, were they?

Virgil vaguely registered the sound of over-boiling water as the realization hit him.

Oh. So this is what it's like.

He turned so that his lower back was stable against the counter, sliding slowly down onto his butt. Standing didn't feel safe right now, even if that made no sense.

He didn't really like this. He felt so isolated, so alone in this moment. He was too out of it to focus hard enough on those thoughts for them to really take root, but he was generally aware of them. So, he did the first thing he could think to do.

He pulled his phone very slowly and carefully out of his pocket, as if he thought it was a brittle sugar cookie. He stared at the dark screen for a solid minute, wondering why it wasn't turning on. Then he realized he had to actually touch the screen for that to happen, and so he did.

From there, it was relatively easy; he unlocked his phone, found the calling app, scrolled around a little haphazardly up and down the contact list before finding Remus' contact.

If anyone could help him feel less alone, if anyone knew what he was experiencing... it would be him.

He took a deep breath and held it as he pressed the call button, bringing the phone to his face as it rang.

It only rang twice before Remus answered. "Hello, Jack Skellington! What can I do for you this evening?" Remus' voice sounded a little extra mischievous, and Virgil couldn't even begin to place why.

He was quiet for a little too long, vaguely trying to decide what to say. "Hi." Not the most eloquent, but it worked for a start.

"Hi," Remus replied, the troublemaking lilt of his voice dissipating slightly. "Is everything okay, Surly Temple?"

Virgil giggled a bit. Your brother is funny. You keep stealing his nicknames for me. "I'm, yeah. Sorry, talking. it's hard. Right now." Virgil spoke haltingly, each word firm but isolated from the last.

"Hmmm..." Remus stroked his mustache from the other end of the line. Virgil giggled again, realizing he couldn't actually see Remus stroking his mustache, but could imagine it vividly all the same. There was no doubt in his mind that he was doing exactly that.

"Oh, 'm high," Virgil added quite belatedly.

"Oh! Well that makes a lot more sense!" Remus laughed, but quickly composed himself again. "What are you doing? Are you feeling okay? Is this your first time? What's happening?"

"Skyscraper," Virgil replied matter-of-factly, as if that cleared the air entirely.

"...right..." Remus replied slowly. "Stormcloud, is it okay if I come over? I don't... I want you to be- uh, to feel safe right now."

"Yes, please," Virgil clung to the phone like it was Remus' arm. "I miss you I'm kinda scared," his words slurred together, but at least he managed to say something slightly coherent. Remus grunted in acknowledgement.

"Okay. I'll be there in ten. Want me to stay on the line?" Virgil could hear shuffling around in the background.

"What're you doin?" He asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at the refrigerator door, since he couldn't actually look at Remus.

"Putting on my shoes, silly! What room are you in right now?" Remus replied, a sense of protectiveness twinged in his voice.

"Kitchen. floor." Virgil swirled his fingers on the wooden floor.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay- oh, fuck it. I'm staying on the line till I get there, okay Virgie?" Virgil heard the sound of a door slamming, followed by vague trafficky noises.

"You're coming," Virgil spoke, registering it in his mind finally.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Remus repeated, and the sound of Remus' car starting sounded shortly after.

Virgil smiled at nothing. "I love you."

The words were a bit slurred together, but he heard them out of his own mouth loud and clear. He almost clapped a hand over his mouth, a little horrified that he'd just said that.

Sure, he'd known he loved Remus for a while now, but they hadn't said it before. He'd almost said it, once, earlier that week while he was laying in Remus' arms on a drowsy Sunday morning, watching the lines of his face shift and harden as he slowly woke up. But he didn't. And now he'd just gone and said it, while he was stoned out of his mind for the first time, sitting on his kitchen floor about to break into tears-

Remus' voice, a little bit strained, interrupted Virgil's thoughts.

"I love you too."

A pause. "I'm almost there, okay? Everything's gonna be fine."

Virgil snuggled down further into his hoodie.

"I know, cus you'll be here."

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #dukexiety #sanders sides fanfiction #ts virgil #ts remus #human au #5 + 1 fic #5 + 1 things #songfic

26 notes · View notes

incorrect-miraith-quotes · 3 years

Text

(A/N yes, this is an incorrect quote acc but I can write actual good stuff too 😳)

Drinks and Sunsets

7:00 AM (3 hours before the match starts)

“Renee!! Wake up please, there is breakfast!” Natalie shouted at the closed door infront of her. Renee had fallen asleep at an ungodly time trying to find out more about herself and well, it didnt work out the way she wanted. She groaned, squeezing her eyes tight while moving her arms up. She stretched and eventually popped her shoulder which caused her to scream but not really scream if you understand what I mean. She cursed at herself for not going to sleep earlier knowing that there was a game today. She sat up, shading her eyes from the window that shown the bright sun. Her head turned to the door when she heard knocks coming from the other side. “someone’s there” Renee’s voices whispered, echoing throughout her ears. “No shit sherlock,” She hissed.

“Wra- I mean Renee~ wait no- sorry. Renee are you gonna eat?” Elliot sputtered, clearing his throat. “Depends on what it is,” She sighed. “It’s uH..pancakes I think? I dont know, Ramya was chosen to be the one who cooks today. They looked..burnt,” He explained, shuddering from the thought of Ramya’s pancakes. “I guess, give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll head out. Wait for me?” Renee asked, getting up and walking to her dresser. “Uh..yeah, yeah I’ll wait for you. Dont worry about a thing..you worried cause I’m not..haha..ha..,” Elliot trailed off, sliding down to the floor until he hit his arse on the concrete. Renee chuckled to herself in his stupidity and got dressed. She wore a black tank top with short grey shorts and her black sneakers with her ankle high socks (black of course). She unlocked her door and peered over to the tall man crouched next to her door, falling asleep.

“Wake up Elliot, I thought I was the one to wake up hm?” She flicked his forehead, causing him to rub the spot where he was hit. “Ow ow ow- Why??” Elliot questioned, confused as to why he was hit. “You were gonna start drooling so..anyways, breakfast?” Renee pulled him up, almost falling backwards. “I mean that’s why I’m here right? Right? i hope Im right..,” Elliot trailed off again, starting his journey towards the kitchen with the small woman behind him. Everynow and then he would peek back to make sure she was still there and not inside a portal. “You’re safe with him” Renee looked up at Elliot, the voice echoing throughout her mind. “You like him dont you” Renee looked up at the ceiling and scrunched her face in annoyance, internally screaming at the voices. “I don’t, you guys always assume things,” she whispered, looking at the random framed pictures hung up on the wall. “Elliot!” Renee shouted at the still walking man. He jumped slightly and flinched, “y-yeah? What’s up?” “Kitchen is right here doofus,” She nodded her head towards the room, “How did you manage to miss this big ass room??” “I guess it was an accident, never done that before haha,” He sighed and apologized. The so called pancakes were sitting on a top of a white ceramic plate, getting colder by the minute. “I wouldn’t even dare to try them..I mean you could but- It probably wouldnt be good..,” He walked over to the counter, “If you want, I can cook somthing up for you?” “That would be nice thank you and uh..can you make me some coffee? You know how I like it already,” She sat down at the large dinner table, laying her head down. “Yeah I can do that for ya, anything you want in particular?” Elliot asked but was met with silence. He peeked over and saw she was sleeping soundly with her head in her arms. Elliot took off his sweater and draped it over her shoulders then went back to the kitchen.

8:37 AM (1:30 hours before the match starts)

“Breakfast is ready Renee,” he shook her gently until she stirred, “Mornin’ beaut- I-I mean um..sleepyhead..? Yeah..that’s the word..sleepyhead.” “Mmm..mor-“ She clears her throat and rubs her eyes, “morning..sorry I fell asleep I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” She looked down at the scrambled eggs and toast that were neatly placed onto the plate infront of her. “It’s fine, I didnt wanna bother you because I thought you’d kill me,” He admitted, taking off the apron that was tied around his waist. He placed it on the hook next to the fridge where a stickynote was left by Octavio not to touch his jello. The only person he let touch his stuff was Natalie. Renee picked up the fork and began eating. “You should date him” “No,” She whispered, furrowing her brows as she picked up a piece of egg with her fork. She watched as the tall man made her coffee just the way she likes it; black with a little bit of sugar and creamer. She was never one to like sweet coffee like everyone else. He poured the jug’s contents into her prefered mug. He added the little things she liked and carried it over to where she was sitting. She thanked him with a small, almost unnoticable, smile. Renee sat there with her cup close to her nose, smelling the bitter coffee aroma. She cooled it before sipping it slowly, enjoying the taste of her morning coffee.

“Hey Elliot, do you know what time it is?” She questioned the other who was washing the pan. He checked his phone and replied, “8:52” Renee stood up and brought her plate to the sink after she was done eating. “Could you wash these for me? I need to freshen up in my room,” She handed him the plate, “thanks.” She started making her way towards her room; which consisted of one right and a lot of walking straight. But she never got tired of it since she was happy she lived comfortably with her friends. The 2 rooms that were next to hers were Natalie’s and Ajay’s. The boys were on the opposite side so in front of her was Elliot. The hallway she lived in held 6 legends at a time 3 girls, 3 boys. Renee’s hallway had Ajay, her, and Natalie and then Octavio, Elliot, and Tae. The others had their hallways, some with empty rooms for future legends. Natalie was never really in her room since she was always with Octavio. It was weird, seeing two polar opposites living together. Then there were Ajay and Tae, she managed to make friends with him. I’m pretty sure Tae is still annoyed but is warming up to her.

“Oh! Youre awake finally,” Natalie smiled, walking out of Octavio’s room, “You never woke up so I had to get Elliot to help me..” Renee stood there at her door with the key in the slot, “Yeah, Ive just been...thinking.”

“Hm, well I hope you get some more sleep. Oh and goodluck with the match today!”

“You arent participating today?”

“Non, Ive been feeling unwell for the past few hours”

“Why aren’t you in bed then?”

“Well, Tavi was getting Ajay but he hasnt come back yet”

“You should be resting Nat..”

“Im okay I swear! Pas besoin de s'inquiéter,” She smiled softly and weakly. She was still in the large shirt Octavio gave her to sleep in and pajama pants. She had a small nessy plush tucked into her elbow, being squished tightly. “Chica! Get back in the bed right now or else im going to llevarte allí yo mismo,” Octavio came back with soup and meds, shouting at the sickly girl. “Ah, Tavi.. Je suis désolé I was just wondering where you were.,” She hugged the plush closer to her fragile body. “Come here conejita, lets get you better,” He lifted her up into his arms, still carrying the supplies Ajay had given him, “When you are done being sick I am going to....”

“Lovebirds,” Renee sighed and closed the door to her room, preparing for the match ahead of her. She got her battle gear on and re-did her messy bun into a neat one. Her kunai rested on the counter, untouched in its holster. She picked it up and unsheathed it, smiling at the small sparks of void that emitted out of it. She put it away and hooked the holster to her belt. “You know you wanna be like them, you cant deny it” The voices teased. “You guys really want me in a relationship huh,” Renee flopped backwards onto her messy bed. She didnt have time to make it in the morning but now she can. She checked her phone and scrolled through her social medias. Elliot made her download them and every now and then, Elliot will make her post a picture or something. She always got tagged in fanart and random posts about her in the matches. She would occasionally like some and they would freak out and thank her. She scrolled through her tagged until she came across one post. It was fanart of her and Elliot, sitting together with their hands intertwined watching the sunset. Renee blushed slightly at the art. She saw that Elliot had already liked it, but seeing as he likes all posts that he got tagged in, it wasnt weird. She hesitantly liked it and turned off her phone. “Maybe I do like him” Her thoughts were interupted when someone knocked at the door.

9:34 (couple minutes until the match starts. The ship still has to arrive at the arena, World’s Edge)

“Renee! Get yuh ass over here ‘cause the match starts soon!” Ajay’s voice boomed through the door. Her footsteps could be heard on the other side as she walked away. Renee stood up and stretched while walking towards where Ajay just was. She opened the door to see Elliot walking out of his room. “Oh hey Ren..can I call you that? Im gonna call you that..anyways, hi. Wanna walk together?” She nodded, “Okay cool, lets start heading over before everyone leaves without us.” They walked in a comfortable silence over to their friends. Octavio was in a corner moping since he didnt have his love interest with him while Crypto spied on him from another corner. He was still mad that Nat rejected him a few weeks ago to be with Octavio. It was crazy hearing that he was sulking around in his room for hours on end. But back to the main girl in this story, Renee sat down on one of the couches that sat in the middle of the room. Everyone was ready to board the dropship to head over to the arena. Here is what was going around, Gibby and Ajay were laughing together,Octavio was..unenergetic for once, Tae was in the corner, Loba was fixing her nails while Rev watched her on the wall, Alexander was playing around with his gas, and lastly Ramya was chewing gum while playing on her phone. It was always bustling in the living space because its where everyone socialized other than the bar. A small yet loud alarm was sounded to let all the legends know it was time to board the dropship.

“Woo-hoo! It’s finally time to go,” Octavio said unenthusiastically. Everyone walked in one-by-one or in pairs. They all strapped up in their skydiving equipment and was prepared for the long drop ahead of them. Renee stood next to Elliot’s room in the ship while the others either went to their rooms or sat in the middle. (Reference back to the season 3 trailer for room placement) Renee was flippping her kunai peacefully while Elliot rambled about something in his room. She enjoyed listening to him talk about nonsense while the quiet humming of the ship was surrounding them. It was peaceful, atleast to her. It blocked out most of the voices and when she was around Elliot they seemed to shut up and occasionally tease her. The drop ship shook a bit and Elliot tripped a little but caught himself. Renee didnt mind turbulence since she didnt really care about anything really, she tenses up a bit sometimes but thats about it. Her scarf end swayed as the ship lowered slowly. Suddenly the screens flashed on and displayed everyone’s banners. Everyone gets a chance to customize and submit their banners to headquarters. The teams were as listed,

Lifeline, Crypto, and Gibraltar

Octane, Caustic, and Bloodhound

Mirage, Wraith, and Loba

Revenant, Pathfinder, Bangalore

Rampart

Everyone stood on their respective platforms also known as where the screens flashed their names. The champions were shown not even a minute later, Wraith’s team was shown and she said a voiceline to taunt her enemies of the day. The metal shifted under their feet and lowered slowly, revealing the bright, cold arena. Everyone at this point was used to the cold though, they were glad it was world’s edge because kings canyon during those months was scorching. Comms were switched on and everyone tested out the mics. Everything was set up and ready to go so teams started dropping towards their locations. Wraith was jumpmaster and pinged on the map, Fragment West. Everyone knew both of Fragment was dangerous and it was hotdrop that game too. You can bet that there were multiple death boxes surrounding the small yet large area. Wraith was already kill leader with 7 kills from the popular spot. Bullets were heard in the distance and Wraith portaled to gain some speed while Loba teleported and Mirage had to run. He wasn’t a running person for long distances so he just took wraith’s portal.

“W- Wait up you two! I dont have a movement ability!!” He cried out to the two girls. The two looked at eachother and giggled while looking back at the energy drained man. “Danger move” Wraith looked around and pinged an enemy and phased away out of danger. Again, Loba teleported away and Mirage was left alone to run away. They hit him good but he managed to get behind cover. Wraith lended him some shield cells and syringes and shot at the other team with her sentinel. The other team was Octane’s team and they were stacked; Octane had gold armour while his teammates had red evo. Octane also had a peacekeeper that he got from a carepackage just next to them. It was a long fight, from gas being thrown on them to the ring closing in on the two teams. They had been fighting for so long they didnt even realize that there were only 3 teams in total left. Wraith’s team, Octane’s team, and lastly Pathfinder. I would say Pathfinder’s team but his teammates died and the banner timers ran out, he was left solo.

“Everyone try to watch your backs, the robot could try to ambush one of us,” Loba turned to face her teammates, occassionally looked up and around for the tall simulacrum. “Spotted him, up there. He has a longbow and what seems to be a flatline on his back. I could snipe him down if that’s what you want,” Wraith calmly called out, pulling out her sentinel and charging it. “Go ahead beautiful,” Loba replied. In an instant, a loud, charged sentinel bullet was shot and killed the robot up on the hill, instantly eliminating him. Now, it was just Octane and Wraith’s teams left to fight. “Nice kill Re- I mean,” He cleared his throat, “Nice kill Wraith..” Wraith smiled and thanked him silently while eyeing down the other team. Seconds went by and both teams rushed eachother. Bullets whizzed by eachothers heads and occasionally hit their shoulders or legs. Octane’s team was low on meds while the other team was low on ammo. Another minute of fighting passes and Wraith’s team is deemed the champion. When they were back in the drop ship everyone congratulated them for winning even though they were in a tight spot. There was an after match party happening in an hour so everyone went back to their rooms to clean up after a long day and get dressed. Renee was first to her room to take a shower while the others stayed in the kitchen or hallways sparking conversations with eachother. While Renee took her cold shower, Elliot decided it was be such a good idea to just waltz into her room to ask her a question not knowing that she was relaxing without voices for once.

“Hey Renee! I was just wondering if you wanted to match for the uh..,” He paused, looking around, “Renee? Where are you??” He looked around the empty yet messy room. Clothes thrown everywhere and notebooks and hairties were strewn about. Her messy bed showing how much she slept that night, which it wasn’t much. He began to worry about her well-being and if she even actually took care of herself. He heard the loud shower running so he went and knocked on the bathroom door. But before he actually knocked, he thought about the things that could happen if he knocked on her bathroom door when she didnt even know that he was in her room. He’d be killed. Before he knew what was coming he accidentally knocked on the door infront of him like a reflex. He heard the girl inside gasp loudly with a few things dropping. He startled her, which was a first for him. He was in shock and did not want to move. “She’s like a T-Rex, if I dont move she cannot see me-“ He was cut off when the door swung open and a semi-dryed off Renee was standing in-front of him. She had her body wrapped with a towel and her still damp hair dripped along the floor and her scarred shoulders.

“How are you in here and what do you want,” She said firmly with an annoyed face. “One, your door was open, two, I wanted to ask if you wanted to match outfits for the after match thing..,” He sighed looking away, “Nevermind, it was a dumb question of course you dont.” He turned and apologized but before he could leave the room Renee stopped him. “Who said I didn’t want to? I wouldn’t mind matching with you,” She stepped over to her closet and sifted through the dresses section, “What color or style were you thinking of?” Elliot was astonished that she actually agreed to do anything with him. “I was thinking accents of purple..? I think it would look nice on both of us,” He sat down on a nearby chair in her room, looking away from her slender body. “Fine with me, now turn around,” She made sure he had his eyes closed and was turned around in order to change. She dropped the towel and peered back just in case. “You want him to see you” “Tell him to turn around” “Let him touch you” The voices were surrounding her but she managed to ignore them. When she finished getting dressed she had Elliot turn around.

“Wow..,” Elliot had no words for the sight in front of him. She wore a long black dress that had a slit on the side with a fluffy, purple boa draped over her shoulders and she was wearing heels making her as tall as him. She played with her hair a bit out of embarrassment while looking away. “You look..amazing,” Elliot was admiring her features that he acted like he’d never seen before, “I just- have no words.” “I dont look that good relax,” Renee walked over to her dresser and put on a necklace that had a purple gem in the middle. “Are you going to just stand there and not go to your room and get dressed?” Renee peered over at him from the mirror. “Right..right yeah, Ill be back to ‘pick you up’,” He opened the door and quietly shut it behind him. She sighed and thought out loud, “What am I going to do about him?” She put her hair in a half bun-half hair down sort of style and finished her look with mascara and a slight tint to her lips. She slipped on short black gloves and grabbed a clutch that had small purple accents on it. “He will like it” “For once you look nice” “People are going to judge you” “Nobody will approach you” “People are going to hate you” The voices started off nice but went downhill and piled hate after hate onto her. She pushed them away and mumbled to herself that tonight will be a good night. Light knocking was heard and she went to open the door, her heels clicking with every step.

“Ready to gooooo-“ He looked her up and down and smiled, “You’re beautiful” He tucked a stray strand from her hair behind her ear, “Let’s be on our way before the limosu- limosio- limo gets here.” He held out a hand and she gladly took it. They held hands for most of the way until Renee let go to check her clutch for something. She pulled it out and checked it before slipping it back in. It was her Apex ID, aka the only way to get into Apex events. You can be one of the legends but they wouldnt let you in without it since people knew how to look almost identical to them. She didn’t regrab his hand after that, she wanted to make sure no one saw. When they got to the front of the building everyone was in their formal attire. Octavio was wearing a green suit top with tailored shorts to go along with it and Natalie wore a white party dress that had orange and blue accents, Anita was in a classic suit talking to Loba who was in a short gold dress, Crypto was in a white suit with green accents, Rampart was in a blouse and office pants, Gibby was in a suit while Ajay wore a long blue dress, Bloodhound wore their goggles along with a suit that had a red cloth in its pocket, and Alexander wore a plain black suit. Revenant doesn’t dress up he said. Pathfinder simply went as himself for the night. After a couple minutes of waiting the limo drove up to the curb of the building. Everyone piled in close together and began conversations with eachother. Elliot and Renee sat really close together due to the limo being quite small for a bunch of legends. Some minutes pass and Renee’s eyes are starting to close. She finally let the sleepiness take over her and her head softly fell onto Elliot’s shoulder. He looked over at her and smiled. Most of the legends eyed them and mouthed for him not to move one bit or she would murder him.

“Elliot..,” Renee mumbled in her sleep, “I..love you..” The small sentence was only heard by the man allowing her to sleep. He tensed up but relaxed as her arm draped over his. The limo pulled up to the event center and a red carpet was dramatically rolled out for the legends. One-by-one everyone was walking down the red carpet either together or solo. Im guessing you can guess which ones walked solo. Elliot nudged Renee and she slowly opened her eyes. She yawned quietly and her eyes met his. They looked at eachother and then she backed away, standing up. She turned away and quickly walked out of the limo and Elliot followed shortly after. Elliot caught up and walked beside her while she covered her eyes from the flashing of the cameras. He enjoyed all the attention on him but Renee never did. He realized what was happening and walked directly infront of her, taking the spotlight. The taller put his hand behind his back and Renee allowed herself to grab and squeeze it lightly. He led her somewhere private and sat her down on a wall away from everyone else.

“You okay? I know you dont like the atten- attentin- eyes on you,” he knelt down, matching his eye level with hers. “I’m fine, you dont have to worry about me so much you know,” She sighed and leaned back slightly, “Let’s just get back to the others before they think were fucking or something.” Elliot offered a hand but she declined, pushing herself up from the wall. She swayed her hips with every step she took towards the doors. Her dress flowed down neatly from her waist down to the carpeted floor. He watched her walk away as the boa she wore bounced with her strides. “W- wait up Renee!” He yelled, fast-walking towards her but she was already through the doors. When he made it through, it was bustling with legends from other ports and random game organizers. There was loud music playing from speakers up above and most of the legends were by the bar including Anita and Loba. Others were either on couches or talking near walls with each other. There were people dancing in the middle of the room where flashing lights and more sparkled along the area. His eye caught the bright purple boa from across the room.

“Hey Ren, glad I finally found you,” He sat next to the now relaxed woman, “Let me guess, appletini?” She gave a side-glance towards him while she sipped the drink he guessed. It was her usual at the Paradise Bar so it wasn’t weird. Minutes went by and the found themselves laughing at eachother from stupid jokes and random stories. A slow-dancing song played on the speakers and everyone got with a partner.

“Wanna go dance with me Ren?” Elliot grabbed her hand, pointing to where everyone was partnered together. “I can’t really dance Elliot, I dont know if I could do it,” Renee responded back to him, covering her face with her boa. “Oh, come on you can’t be that bad at dancing. It’s not that hard, come on I’ll teach you,” He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the seat to take her over to everyone else. He brought her to the dance floor and held her close, guiding her hands to where they were supposed to be. He placed her hands on her lower waist and swayed side-to-side with her. “See? I told you it wasnt that ha-“ He winced as she stepped on his foot, “It’s fine, I forgive you since you’re a beginner.” She apologized anyways and held him closer. As the song came to an end everyone seperated except for them.

“This is nice,” Renee pulled away from his arms, “Want to go somewhere more..quiet?” Elliot’s face contorted to a confused yet happy expression. “I know just the place Ren!” He grabbed her hand and practically sprinted out the doors with her, bringing her to a cliff just off the side of the road. He sat down far away from the edge and patted the spot next to him, signalling for her to walk over and sit next to him. The sun was setting and it was the most beautiful thing that Renee had ever seen. “Oh wow Elliot..I never knew about this spot,” She couldn’t stop gazing at the orange and red hues surrounding the hot ball of gas. “My mom would take me here sometimes, from the sunset, the sunrise, and the stars oh my god the stars. She’d make them so amazing but one day she got so sick and she couldn’t take me anymore. So everytime we get to come here I come out here, to escape the whole legend thing and relax by myself. But now, I see two pretty things infront of me..the sunset and well, you,” He gently grabbed her hand and her reddish face was hard to see in the dark. She turned her head towards him and he smiled softly. “This reminds me of something I saw today, a post with a drawing of us. There’s just one thing missing to complete the scene I believe,” Renee saw him thinking and it looked like a lightbulb just turned on in his head. He leaned in and so did she. They closed their eyes and-

kissed

The scene matched the vibe of the social media post that Renee had randomly come across. It was a strange feeling to Renee, for she had never felt this way towards anyone before. Atleast, not a time that she could remember. Elliot had a goofy smile plastered on his face afterwards. She grinned and leaned on his shoulder as they gazed at the stars that started to peek from the horizon. “Alright yuh lovebirds, get yuh asses inside before we leave without yuh guys,” Ajay leaned against the door, watching them. “Oh, alright. We’ll be right there Ajay,” Renee looked over her shoulder to the other girl and smiled softly. Ajay nodded and closed the door behind her. Elliot was the first to get up and then offered a hand for Renee to grab. She gladly took it and he hoisted her up to her feet. She brushed off any dirt that may have gotten onto her dress. As they went back inside, no one really looked at them apart from quick glances. Anita signalled to them over at the entrance that they were leaving the event. They held hands as they rushed over to the group, not wanting to let go of eachother. Anita counted them and led everyone back to the limosuine so they could pile in the same way they did when they arrived.

(Back at the Apex Dormrooms)(Specifically Elliots Room)

The two were sitting on top of the bed in Elliot’s room, talking. Everyone had just got back to the dorms and they had rushed out so they could get some privacy. “So..what are we now?” Renee turned towards Elliot, who was fidgeting with his hands. He looked up and shifted into a more comfortable position to look at the girl next to him. He looked back infront of him and flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. “Whatever you want us to be, Ren,” His eyes glanced at her features from the angle he was in.

“I want to be...more than friends-“

“Best friends?”

“No-“

“Best best friends..?”

“Elliot-“

“What?”

“I want to be together, as in I want us to date and do things that couples do,” her head turned towards him. “A-are you sure?? I-I-I mean I dont think Im that bad at being a boyfriend but are you really sure you want to be in a rela- rele- be with me???” He stammered, not knowing what to say. “Yes,” was all she had to say when Elliot pulled her in close to lay down next to him. He kissed her cheeks and her forehead multiple times before stopping to stare at her beauty. She giggled and smiled then held him down into a cuddle position on the bed. “This is what I’ve always wanted, despite me acting like I never did,” She admitted, tracing circles on the others chest. “Did you want to sleep here for the night? Or..we’re you going to go back to your room?” Elliot asked, but got no response from the other. Renee was fast asleep in his arms, snoring softly. Elliot smiled a loving smile and kissed her forehead lightly then fell asleep quick with the warmth she amitted.

E X T R A

Octane walked into Elliot’s room, knowing it was unlocked and because he was his best friend. He had his phone in hand, ready to ask a question about the future match. His eyes darted towards the bed after noticing that the lights were off. There, he saw his best friend with the stone cold girl, who never really showed emotion. He gasped quietly and opened the camera app on his phone. He snapped a picture but before he knew it, the flash went off and lit up the entire area of the man’s bed. Renee groaned and covered herself more with the blanket that was draped over her and Elliot. He quickly stepped out of the room where the couple rested and snickered at the photo he caught. His first thought was to post it, his second? To post it and then print it and frame it. He didnt want to seem like a bitch so he decided to post it with the caption, “Found the lovebirds mating LOL” Within a matter of seconds, the post flooded with likes and shares. Which meant that all if not most of the legends would see it. You bet that Elliot and Renee we’re furious when they both came across it the next day..

THE END

word count: 5,445

Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :] <3

Quotes will resume Monday,, 2:00pm CT

#apex legends #apex #miraith #mirage apex legends #apex legends mirage #mirage #wraith apex legends #apex legends wraith #wraith

38 notes · View notes

bxthharmon · 4 years

Text

Through the Ages || JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader

Words: 1870

Warnings: Super toxic relationship, underage drinking, smoking, weed

Summary: The development of your relationship with JJ, from when your first met aged eight to adult life, MAJOR ANGST

A/N: okay i know i havent written anything in WEEKS but im watching obx and im obsessed... i really wasn’t expecting this to take such a dark turn?? contact me if you wanna request anything or make friends :)

masterlist

8 years

You’re eight and when you meet John in front of the school to walk home, he has a friend. You know your brother’s friends - most of them, at least - but this boy is new. He is tanned and blonde and tall for his age, and a girl in your class had told you about how he’s always getting into small playground scraps. You eye each other warily on the way home, your brother between you, oblivious to the hostility.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like him - how could you dislike someone you knew nothing about? - it was that John had promised to stop bringing his friends on the way home, because he would end up ignoring you, and now there was a friend walking with them.

When the boy finally leaves, John looks at you as if he forgot you were there. You watch as the boy goes through the front door, catching a glimpse of a dark, cluttered house. You wonder where his parents are.

John coaxes you into a race - who can get home first - and he wins. He always wins. A year older, stronger, faster. Your dad greets you, asking about your days, and laughing as you complain about how John ignored you on the way home.

The next week, the boy walks with you again. His name is JJ, and he’s funny. He gives you a twinkie as a peace offering, saying that he wants to walk with you and John from now on. You shrugged, and took the twinkie, telling him it was for the food, and only the food.

11 years

You’re eleven, in your first year of middle school, and you and John ride home from school everyday on your bikes. On the days when you’re not surfing or hanging out with friends, you cycle home with John, JJ and a new member of the gang, Pope. You and JJ, while still at a twinkie-incited truce, are growing more competitive and show-offish around each other. You race your bikes to his, and if you stop at the corner store on the way home, you see who can chug their cola faster. John fights with you when you get home because they’re “his friends, not yours!”

You have your own friends, and sometimes you cross with your brother’s friends in town, sass thrown between the groups like a tennis rally, the twinkie-truce fading into the past. You can’t stand the tall blonde surfer, but you can’t wait to argue with him on your way home from school.

14 years

You’re fourteen, and after a year long break from your brother’s friends, you’re, once again, at the same school. You’ve changed, filled out more over the last year, puberty having hit you like a tonne of bricks since you last hung out. The three pogues now have one female friend, Kiara, and you become fast friends. You can tell your brother has a thing for her, and you wonder if he’ll ever bring her home to meet your dad.

JJ sees you differently now. You seem less like the eight year old he met six years ago, but you’re still very much yourself. He pulls your ponytail as you pass him in the hallways at school, and you flip him off in return. You sometimes go to the same parties, and your drinking races have switched from cola to beer. John hates you being at parties, claiming your too young to drink or party, as if he wasn’t the year before. John can see how JJ looks at you, and he hates it. He hates seeing how guys look at you now, how they flirt, hit on and catcall his baby sister. He also hates how in your efforts to compete with JJ, you get into fights and run your mouth. He hates how JJ shows off around you, and vice versa.

Despite his frustrations with JJ, he’s also the only guy who’ll stand up for you when you or John can’t do it yourselves. He hopes you don’t grow up too quickly, and he knows that his friends will always have your back, so he’s not worried.

15 years

You’re fifteen, and you go to a kegger for the first time. You get drunk quickly, flirting with too many guys and giggling at every little thing. You share a blunt with JJ, and the pair of you practically piss yourselves with laughter when John tries to reprimand you. The night is fun, and you can’t wait for the next one.

The next one is much worse. You’re one or two drinks in when you see JJ flirting with a touron. In retrospect, that’s probably when you first noticed your feelings, but at the time you have no idea why you’re so angry about it. By the end of the night, you’ve had half a bottle of vodka and two spliffs, and you’re way far gone. You might even have blacked out - but all you remember is the pure rage, and how you spent ten minutes throwing up by the front porch when you got home.

You saw JJ the next day, and you’re both hungover. He checks on you, and neither of you really understand why you’re so cold towards him, but he leaves pretty quickly.

You cry that night.

16 years

You’re sixteen, and your dad is missing. You lost all your friends when you fell into a depression after it. Nine months later, and you feel happy again. You’re the final member of pogue crew, and you spend the summer surfing and swimming and settle into the routine of summer. You surf first thing in the morning, as dawn breaks, often with JJ, competing over who’s a better surfer (he is). You spend your afternoons on the HMS Pogue, competing with JJ over who’s the better swimmer (you are). The group of you drink and smoke and live your best lives. On the days where you’re not on the boat, you work.

You know you love JJ, and you flirt constantly. He kisses you at a kegger, barely twenty minutes before he pulls the gun on Topper. You have your first serious argument that night, and it ends with him kissing you.

You wear your heart on your sleeve, and assure him you love him. He doesn’t say it back, but he shows it. You learn about his Dad and his work and how he learnt to surf. You sneak around, and, miraculously, don’t get caught.

16 ½ years

You’re sixteen and a half when John and Sarah go missing. Kie and Pope try to help, but you don’t pay them any attention. You and JJ struggle, with yourselves, each other, and your relationship. You’re on the rocks, you’re up against the wall. You don’t think you’ll last, and you fight constantly.

Your relationship is toxic, taking your own angers out on each other, fighting and screaming in each others faces only to make up for a honeymoon period that lasts a week, max, and the cycle repeats. You’re both miserable.

17 years

You’re seventeen, and he breaks up with you. You were too alike - both too impulsive, angry, broken for it to ever work. You apply to out-of state colleges, hoping to escape the islands you used to love.

You wait for an acceptance letter, and watch as the people you call family try to rebuild their lives.

18 years

You’re eighteen, and you get the letter. UCLA, on the other side of the country. You say your goodbyes to Kie and Pope, and eventually, JJ.

He looks broken, when you tell him. He asks you what you’d do if John came back and you weren’t around, but you had resigned yourself to John’s death long ago. You fight one last time. You fuck one last time. You love one last time.

You wonder if you’ll ever return.

22 years

You’re twenty two, and you’ve got a degree. You fly home the day after graduation, and everything has changed.

Kie runs the Wreck now, and she gives you a free meal and you talk for hours when you first arrive. She invited you to her and Pope’s place.

They have a nice place. Not on Figure Eight, but on that side of the island - Pope’s got a high earning job in marine biology research. They’re happy.

You smoke a blunt with Pope, for old time’s sake. He tells you to see JJ, and gives you a slip of paper with the address. You don’t know if you want to throw it into the ocean or treasure it forever. You do neither.

It takes you a week to psych yourself up to it, and then you knock on his door.

His house is small, but not tiny, not like his childhood home. He welcomes you in, a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen in years. He sits you down at the dinner table, and you take in the pictures on the mantel shelf, and the mementos stuck to the fridge.

You see the ring on his finger.

You enter a state of stasis. You were sure he was it for you, but the circumstances were wrong and you were too immature. Right person, wrong time, or something along those lines. No, apparently not. He moved on, he built a life without you, a happier, healthier life.

His wife is lovely, everything you’re not. She’s patient and kind and soft-spoken, the opposite to him, bringing balance. She stabilises him, and gives him what he needs.

You think of how you would argue with him, the screaming, shouting, throwing plates and vases. Your love was so naive, but so passionate. Everything that happened while you were together, everything that went wrong, happened because your tempers and stubborn natures and impulsivity was destructive.

You fly back to California a week later.

You sit on the plane and reminisce. The night you and JJ broke up, the house got wrecked. You had been standing inches apart, but screaming at the top of your lungs. You had lost your temper and overturned a table, smashing all the crockery left on it. He had thrown a vase at the wall, and you had fought until your voices broke and you were too tired and sore to keep throwing shit at walls and each other. You had sat next to each other, leaning on the wall by the front door, an uncharacteristic calm washing over you.

You had looked at him, heart aching, and told him that you needed to split up. He had nodded, and eventually, the pair of you had drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a world where you could be together without all the hate in the way.

When you woke up in the morning, he was gone, but the mess had stayed. You had had to tiptoe over thousands of shards of broken crockery and glass to get to your room, a reminder of how you were destined to self-destruct.

You watched out the window as the plane landed, and vowed never to return again.

Outer Banks was no longer your home.

221 notes · View notes

sincerlypadfoot · 3 years

Text

Comfort And Death (6)(Part 1)

~After the death of Regulus Black, you take confinement in Sirius who cared for you like a sister after Reguas died, becoming each other's person, you stay at the black house, after having a hard time griefing one night, you go to the place Regulas died.

A/N- So I decided, the next couple chapters will be long because they have meaning and a turn around for the whole story, so chapter six and chapter seven will both be split up into two parts. Im super excited to be writing this.

Word Count-1875

Send Requests Here

December 24th 1994

“We’re going to be late aunt Stella,” Harry mumbled walking into my room shaking his head, waking me up in the progress.

“Late for what?” I asked unamoused and still tired, only going to sleep a hour before Harry had walked into my room, fourteen and still not knowing how to knock.

“The Weasleys are coming over for christmas don’t you remember, and Hermione too and a bunch of my other friends, they’ll be here anytime and everyone in this house is still asleep,”

“Cricket don’t panic,” I croaked remember how Remus had thought it was a good idea inviting Harry's friends over for christmas. “Sirius and Remus planned this, go bug them and I promise i’ll be ready when you come back,”

Harry walked out of my room, watching him the passed couple years growing up almost made me feel old, smiling at all his achievement, dumb pranks and detention he’s gotten himself into, and the trouble he had caused, expressly Remus and Sirius last year, pulling a whole prank on the school, almost sending the two of them to Azkaban.

I used my wand, bringing out some clothes from my closet, letting the magic pick as my clothes followed me into the bathroom across the hall.

“I’m answering the door, someone's here!” Harry called out, I smiled knowing it was the Granger girl, she was always the first one here to any party Harry had suggested we host.

I quickly slipping on a nice apparently green dress, almost tearing up but stopping as I looked at myself in the mirror. I used my wand to put my hair up in a bun neatly, I opened a little box that sat in the corner of my section of my sink, pulling out a silver flat ring and slipping it onto my finger.

“You know i’d think Harry gets this from Lily,” Sirius croaked walking into the bathroom, only wearing boxers. “It’s nearly twelve and people are already showing up, he totally gets this from Lily,” I let out a low laugh looking at Sirius.

“Put some clothes on you monster, we have guests,” I crooked still half asleep, walking passed Sirius and out of the bathroom taking my gaze down the stairs where Harry stood talking to Hermione and a ginger boy filled with freckles top to bottom. Ron Weasley.

I waved my wand in the air, turning the lights on his the house, the red and green christmas lights turned on and decorations came to life.

“This is a lovely house Miss Black,” Hermione said watching me as I walked down the stairs, looking at the three kids.

“You can call me Stella Hermione,” I chuckled taking a glance around the room. “Come on, I’ll make you something to eat,”

“My mums already in the kitchen, my brothers and sister are around her somewhere,” Ron said shrugging his shoulders looking at me, taller than Harry and I both.

“Harry, why don’t you and your friends great the rest of your guests then gather everyone in the living room, i’ll help Ron's mother in the kitchen,” I gave Harry a pat on the back then walked passed towards the kitchen where I could already smell Mollys cooking.

“Hello dear,” Molly was turned around mixing something in a pot, she had enchanted our whole kitchen into making a feast.

“Hello Molly,” I said with a smile walking towards her, her spoon kept spinning as she let go and brought me into a hug. “How are you doing?” She whispered in my ear.

“Good, I feel old, Harry's already fourteen, Sirius and Remus I think are planning to get married, but you can’t tell anyone I told you,” I let out a low laugh letting go of Molly.

“Your telling me you feel old,” Molly laughed shaking her head. “My oldest is working at Gringotts and my other is fighting Dragons, i’m surprised my hair is still red,”

“Good morning,” Remus cheerfully said walking into the kitchen. “Molly this smells delicious,”

“There are so many people here,” Sirius cried out walking into the kitchen. “I didn’t know how many friends Harry’s gotten, but he’s got more then I thought,” a chair was pulled out and Sirius sat on the table, ignoring the chair.

“We’ve got more than enough room for a whole village Sirius,” I chuckled tapping his shoulder and walking out, I looked at Harry who was standing around in the living room, a bunch of teenagers sat in our living room.

“Cricket, come here,” I whispered aiming my head for the door and walking into the hallway. Harry followed me out. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeha yeah I am auntie Stella,” Harry said smiling from ear to ear. “Come on, I wanna introduce you to all my friends,” Harry grabbed my hand and dragged my bag in the living room, I was shocked but smiled gratefully.

“This is my Aunt Stella everyone,” Harry introduce at we walked into the room, I gave a shy smile to the pile of teenagers that looked over at me.

“Hello Stella!” The twins called out raising the hands, I let out a small laugh looking around the room.

“Aunt Stella, this is Cedric Diggory, Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom,” Harry said pointing around the room at the three boys who sat together on the couch.

“Longbottom eh?” I asked walking over to the nervous boy who looked at me as I just smiled. “Nice to meet you,” I put out my hand, shaking Nevilles then Deans then Cedrics. “Dinner is cooking by Molly, enjoy yourselves and make yourselves at home, there are more then enough rooms for whoever will be staying for the night,”

“And,” Sirius said standing at the door, I looked at him who had a smirk on his face. “Not like we have a whole firewhisky stash hidden for when Molly goes to sleep,” Sirius whispered making the twins laugh.

“Sirius,” I tapped walking towards him and shaking my head. “He’s telling the truth,” I said to the kids then pushing Sirius out of the living room.

“I’m sure they could have a few drinks, their parents obviously let them stay over, i’m sure that's enough of a confirmation,” Sirius joked shaking his head.

“Make sure the house doesn’t burn down, I have some things to do,” I said to Sirius walking away up the stairs.

“The ring,” Sirius said stopping me. “I get it,”

I looked down at my finger, looking at my ring. “We were gonna get married I hope you know, when the war was over we were going to get married, I found it under my bed with a note,” I paused holding my tears back. “He knew what he was getting himself into Sirius,”

“Hey Uncle Sirius, Aunt Stella, I was wondering if we could watch some telly,” Harry asked walking into the hallway, I walked up the rest of the stairs, tears finally fell down my face as I passed my room, walking to the end of the hall and closing myself into a empty room.

The room Sirius and I enchanted to be soundproof. I let out a scream and fell to the ground, leaning against the door and holding the ring in my hand.

“Why did you do this Regulas,” I whispered looking down at the ring that laid in my palm. “You planned a whole future then left me!” I screamed tossing the ring across the room in anger.

“Fuck,” I choked out grabbing onto the door to help myself up, walking to where I tossed the ring in angry, picking it up.

“Are you okay Aunt Stella?” Harry asked behind me. I whipped my tears away quickly and turned around with a fake smile on my face. “You usual don’t come in here when your happy,”

“I’m fine cricket,” my voice choked up as I walked over towards him. “Just having a hard time with something right now,” I placed the ring back on my finger. “Why aren’t you downstairs with your friends, I thought you were watching telly?” I asked pushing my problems back and pushing Harry in my head forward.

“I wanted to come check up on you, were you married?” Harry asked looking down at my finger.

“We were gonna get married, Regulas and I, but Harry I think you should go downstairs, you have guests,”

“Not without you aunt Stella,” Harry said grabbing my hand, I smiled letting out a low laugh.

“Okay,” The both of us walked downstairs, Harry letting go of my hand as we walked out of the room and downstairs, Sirius not in the hallway anymore.

“Are you sure your okay?” Harry asked before we walked into the living room. “I know your my aunt and you should be telling me this but we can talk about stuff,”

I laughed at Harry's cheekiness. “Another night Harry dear,” I paused hearing a faint noise, the familiar noise of Sirius shouted. “I’m gonna kill your uncle,” I mumbled opening the living room, looking at Sirius who had the twins on the floor as he poured to bottles of firewhisky into each other the mouths well Ron and Ginny were keeping look out.

I closed the door and looked back at Harry who had a big smile on his face.

“Guess someone's gotta go make sure your uncle doesn’t give anyone alcohol poisons before dinner,” I let out a belly laugh, Harry and I walked into the room and Sirius looked at us, finishing the bottle.

“Hello,” Sirius said dropping the bottles on the ground and looking at harry and I with a smile, the twins stood up without a double whipping their mouths with the firewhiskey.

“It’s not even dinner Sirius,” I laughed grabbing the bottles of empty firewhisky that laid on the ground. “The rules were after supper,”

“What fun are rules if they aren’t meant to be broken,” One of the twins winking at me, sitting down on the couch, Cedric, Dean, Neville, Hermione and now Ron and Ginny were all sat down on the couch watching telly. Harry joined them and I sat down beside Sirius, who had a flask his his hand, oddly, passing it back and forth from the twins.

“You want some?” Fred asked pushing the flask towards me, I looked around the room, then took the flask from Fred. “So hotstuff, how are you?”

I rolled my eyes looking at Sirius who just bursted out laughing, taking the flask away from me.

“You are not my type Fred Weasley,” I laughed making Sirius laugh even more. “Besides, I haven’t dated anyone in almost nineteen years, I don’t plan on starting with a sixteen year old,”

“Nineteen years,” George pipped up behind him. “Not one man has caught your eye in those nineteen years?”

“Who wants some food,” Remus asked poking his head out of the of the kitchen, immediately getting the smell of fire whisky. “Sirius. Stella, we agreed to wait tell after supper,”

“Sorry,” I put my hand up in the air catching his attention. “It was my idea, got a little two recluse,”

“Well come on, dinners ready, you four take a breath mint and sober up in two seconds,” Remus signaled the kids to walk into the kitchen and the four of us sat on the couch longer.

“Thanks,” Sirius said putting his hand on my shoulder reaching into his pocket, pulling out four tiny breath mints. “I always got them in my pocket for these emergencies,”

#RegulasBlack #Regulas Black #Regulas Black x y/n #Regulas Black x you #Regulas Black x oc #SiriusBlack #StellaBlack #RemusLupin

9 notes · View notes