Tumgik
#it makes me so happy to read everyone’s questions and comments about the au!
masonreds · 1 day
Note
ok so I’m not sure if you take requests but I had a request for an instagram au, it would be Desi reader and mason soft launch
✨Soft Launch - Social Media Au ✨
Hii 🤭 this is my first IG au request and it’s been sitting in my drafts for quite a while, sorry if you have been waiting for it. I’m honestly not happy with this so don’t read this with high hopes but I needed to get this out ❤️‍🩹
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by masonsprivate, maya_, izabel.r and 309 others
yourusername entering my relationship era 🥀
maya_ HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS 🤭
izabel.r Finally!! We can go on double dates now 🥰
⤷ yourusername that’s all you’ve been going on about since I’ve been in a rs 😭😭
⤷ maya_ am I going to be third wheeling every time we see each other now 👀
⤷ izabela.r no, mine and y/n’s mission is now to find you a man 😉
⤷ maya_ no thank you 🙂‍↔️ they’re not for me 🙄
user2638 will we ever get to get a glimpse of your man?
⤷ user3729 bro chill! she just put a post up today and you’re already asking if she’s gonna show him. It’s people like you who go private
⤷ user3729 it was just a question relax 🙄
masonsprivate what a beautiful couple 😍
⤷ yourusername I think so too 😉
⤷ user803 IS THIS HIM???!
⤷user3729 just because she replies to a guy from what it looks like, it doesn’t mean they’re dating jesus christ 🙄
view all comments
masonmount added to story
Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername replied; who’s the lucky girl? 😏
⤷ I think you’ve met her once or twice 😉 she’s the most gorgeous girl I’ve laid eyes on 🤩
yourusername added to story
Tumblr media Tumblr media
change of attire for once ✌🏼🤍
masonmount replied; my beautiful desi princess 👸🏽
⤷ you’re so cute 🥺♥️
maya_ replied; LOVE TO SEE IT 😍
⤷ LOVE YOU ❤️
twitter
Tumblr media Tumblr media
instagram
yourusername added to stories
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maya_, izabela.r, masonmount and 2,568 others
tagged; masonmount
yourusername she’s become a united girlie now 💁🏽‍♀️ (swipe to slide 3 for a surprise 😏)
izabela.r OMG ITS HAPPENING!!!
⤷ maya_ I WASN’T PREPARED FOR THIS RIGHT NOW
user1 MASON OMG??! I knew I was right about this
masonfan this is so cute 🥹🥹
masonmount I’m so lucky to have you angel 🤍
⤷ yourusername ditto!! Im still shocked how I managed to pull you
⤷ masonmount don’t be! you’re absolutely gorgeous, way out of my league!
⤷ yourusername stop it 🥹❤️
⤷ itsmelewgi both of you stop it, this is sickening 🤧
⤷ masonmount piss off 🙄
view all comments
masonmount
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by yourusername and 34,980 others
masonmount my desi girl ♥️
tagged; yourusername
yourusername are you trying to make me cry? 🥺❤️‍🩹
user1 this is so cute, I’ll cry 😭
masonfan1 Y/N would look better with me
⤷ masonmount no.
y/nfan the prettiest, the only girl even😍
⤷ masonmount my only girl**
user3 not looking respectfully 🫣
⤷ masonmount then stop looking.
masonfan2 mason fighting everyone in the comments is so funny to me 😭😂
comment liked by yourusername
view all comments
yourusername added to stories
Tumblr media Tumblr media
95 notes · View notes
smilingbuckley · 2 days
Text
20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @diazsdimples
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
302 because I removed some earlier works (2018) from anonymous. I've been writing since like 2016 in general and moved some fics from wattpad to ao3 in 2018/2019
2. What's your total ao3 word count?
1,369,693
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mainly 9-1-1. Though I also want to write a few more for Roswell New Mexico and The Rookie. I used to write Teen Wolf, Legenfs of Tomorrow and Glee fics. Dipped my toes into a few other fandoms as well.
4. Top 5 fics by kudos
The Human of the Pack (Teen Wolf, 3,149 kudos)
Firefighter Diaz (9-1-1, 3,096 kudos)
5 Times Bobby and Athena Acter Like Buck's Parents + 1 Time They Actually Are (9-1-1, 2,366 kudos)
driving me wild (9-1-1, 2,295 kudos)
this is a place where I feel at home (9-1-1, 2,204)
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! Sometimes it takes me a few days because it can be overwhelming, but I try to respond to everything. Except ones that complain about something, I tend to ignore them
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I tend to prefer happy endings, but I have I think 3 with sad endings. While unrequited Buddie is very sad, I think the angstiest one is where Bobby is dying and Buck cries in Eddie’s arms. (That ending is sadder than the sequel where Bobby actually dies because in that ending, Buck dies of old age and gets reunited with Bobby again)
If you want to read them, you can find the series here.
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hmm. I don't know. I try to always write a happy ending. So almost all of them?? I really don't know which one to choose.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Occasionally. I usually delete them. I think only 2 fics got a lot - one where Tarlos was tagged as a background ship but the Tarlos fans got angry that they weren't the main ship, so an entire army of Tarlos fans flooded my comments with anonymous hate comments. And one where Chris is being a teenager and in an argument says that Buck isn't his father or something like that, I think that he wished Buck and Eddie weren't dating? It's been a while since I wrote it. Anyway, I wrote Buck getting insecure and sad and breaking up with Eddie without telling him why and people got mad at me that Buck didn't tell Eddie - though I did that on purpose because Buck was very insecure and didn't want to hurt Eddie with that knowledge. Ended up turning off comments in general for a while.
9. Do you write smut?
Yep. For a long time smut made me uncomfortable and now here I am...
10. Craziest crossover?
Oohh haven't written one in years. I once wrote a Christmas fic back in 2018 where every fandom I was in got connected, but I ended up deleting that one because it was a mess. I think I wrote one or two Glee/The Flash crossovers where Barry and Sebastian were related? Oh, and one with Teen Wolf where Barry and Stiles were related.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I did once get a message that someone copied my fic to wattpad but it was deleted by the time I checked it out. Otherwise, I'm not aware of an entire fic, word for word, being stolen
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! Two actually. And people have reached out recently offering new translations as well.
Right now one of my Teen Wolf fics was translated into Spanish and a 9-1-1 fic to Ukrainian.
13. Have you co-written a fic before?
Not since my Wattpad days
14. All time favorite ship?
Romantically: Buddie.
A relationship (not romantic) in general: Buck & Bobby. They are my favorite relationship of all time. I just love their father-son bond.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will
Oohhhh uhm.... my farm fic. I love the idea of it but it has been more than a year since I touched it and realistically... I probably won't ever touch it.
(My farm fic is an AU where Buck was forced to take the lawsuit money and left to start a farm with rescue animals. He makes up with everyone but Eddie and keeps in contact with Christopher with letters and postcards. One day, Christopher runs away after an argument with Eddie, and he goes to visit Buck. Buck calls Eddie because he has to, so Eddie comes pick him up. But then there's a storm and they're stuck staying with Buck)
16. What are your writing strengths?
I am allergic to saying anything positive about my writing so I couldn't tell you 😂
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Pff. Uhm. Descriptions maybe? I tend to mostly write dialogue. I try to add some more actions while editing but don't always manage to.
18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language
I'm learning Spanish on duolingo just so I can include more Spanish in my fics, but I don't often do it. I do really like it though. I love it when bilingual characters speak the other language.
Back in my Seblaine days, I loved writing Sebastian speaking French. And I don't think I wrote it, but I also used to love Teen Wolf fics where Stiles spoke Polish.
19. First fandom you wrote for
Every Witch Way. I was 11 or 12 years old and new to Wattpad. There were no Dutch fanfics so I wrote my own. I learned English by reading fanfics. (Very important: I was team Jemma.)
The first one I wrote in English was Teen Wolf, also on Wattpad... it wasn't great.
20. Favorite fic you've written
I love writing long fics the most. My all time favorite is probably worth staying for, my nurse Buck fic.
Though a more recent one that I loved writing soooo much is since I met you, I just can't forget you which is my veterinarian Buck x cat dad Eddie fic. I loved it so much.
Tagging: @buddieswhvre @tizniz @steadfastsaturnsrings @watchyourbuck @theotherbuckley @jesuiscenseedormir @loveyouanyway @bidisasterevankinard @chaosandwolves @mattsire @mel-vaz @inkmortal-trash389 @princess-of-the-snake-pit @nilletellsstories @laundryandtaxesworld @specialbrownieeater @m1kayu
21 notes · View notes
sun-e-chips · 2 months
Note
In your waterpark Au... Do Sun and Moon let high school students volunteer as lifeguards during the summer? I could see Sun and Moon proudly bragging about their students to random people at the park and said kids behind them trying to get them to stop or just plain groaning in embarrassment. Have a fantastic day! (or night?)
Without saying too much (I am currently writing the au shhhhh) I will tell you unfortunately for most the past and the current present there are no human staff and the waterpark is entirely run and maintained by animatronics.
Sun and Moon as well as all the Tiki bots were designed to also fill the role as the park’s lifeguards, many robot eyes are constantly surveying the premise’s. The tiki bots are able to pull people from the water but only sun and moon are designed to perform CPR (I talk a little more about this in a previous ask)
Butttttt If the boys did have human staff they would absolutely be bragging as well as messing with them. The teens would especially be embarrassed by the boys praises and smothering in front of all the parks guests while they’re still on shift. The boys have no shame in expressing their fondness for the staff. All employees would be family no matter how short their time there may have been, Sun and Moon will always remember. They never forget a face after all hehe.
20 notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 7 months
Text
kiss it better | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x first responder!reader when oscar crashes into the barrier at monza, he thinks he sees his guardian angel, in reality he's just got a concussion and that's a first responder, but it's the thought that counts.
f1
Tumblr media
liked by arthurleclerc, liamlawson and 1,206,700 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
f1: woah. huge shunt for oscar piastri in turn three. the australian was pulled out of the car by first responders and is getting treatment. red flag for now.
view all comments
user1: omg like my breath was completely gone, i hope oscar is okay
user2: holy shit that's the worst crash i've ever seen i'm so glad they aren't replaying it
user3: i tuned in late and i knew as soon as they didn't replay it it had to be bad
user4: thank the lord for the first responders, they were so fast i hope oscar is good
user5: i'm gonna need netflix to take the backseat on this one i can't take the dramatic editing this is already stressful enough
user6: the grosjean crash was bad enough, i can't deal with it with oscar
user7: are there any updates yet?
user8: not yet.
user9: i'm sat in the grandstand right where this was and it was literally so scary, the first responders literally had to jump on the car
user10: so so lucky that they were stationed so close to where he crashed
oscarpiastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,309,761 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: first of all i'd like to thank everyone for their support and well wishes, i really appreciate it. it's actually thanks to y/n and the rest of the first responders that i'm back on my feet as fast as i am. big thank you to y/n for sacrificing her ability to shower comfortably to help me out of the car and avoid the flames, i am eternally grateful and mama piastri would like you over for dinner to thank you.
view all comments
user9: i'm so so happy he's okay, that crash was so scary
landonorris: glad to hear you're okay mate !
oscarpiastri: you can't get rid of me that easily norris
landonorris: woah, no joking about dying when you've only been discharged for 24 hours
oscarpiastri: sorry, skipped over that one in my contract
danielricciardo: make sure you always read that mclaren contract carefully
user11: thank you y/n for your service
user12: for real she put her leg on the line for oscar she needs a raise
yourusername: it was my pleasure to do my job and help you out oscar. and i'll always take up an offer for a mum's dinner
oscarpiastri: she'll be very happy to hear that
yourusername: text me the details and i'll be there
user13: it's so crazy to me how f1 drivers just get up and walk out of crashes like that
user14: no for real how is the medic more injured than him 😭
logansargent: you are so lucky there were no cameras when you were on painkillers cause you were talking some shit
oscarpiastri: please don't remind me
logansargent: just because there weren't cameras in the room doesn't mean i didn't record you, i look forward to my birthday present this year
oscarpiastri: you wouldn't
logansargent: you wanna bet?
user15: so like how bad do we think what oscar said was?
user16: and how much do we need to pay logan to release it?
Tumblr media
mclaren
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 609,778 others
tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri & yourusername
mclaren: after her heroics in the first half of the season, y/n finally took oscar up and is a guest of mclaren this weekend. as a medic, y/n is one of the most important aspects of a race weekend, and it's an honour to host her!
view all comments
user17: did oscar write this caption? that man was BLUSHING in the fan questions video
user18: awwww mama piastri is also there this weekend and in a load of the pictures in the paddock they stuck together
oscarpiastri: so happy to see you again y/n !!
yourusername: my pleasure, oscar. racing is a lot more fun from the garage
oscarpiastri: i'll try my best not to crash this time, i know my favourite medic isn't on duty
yourusername: oh wow what a title, i'll wear it with pride
user19: they're such dorks i love them so much
landonorris: can someone get me some popcorn, i'm enjoying watching oscar squirm and blush all weekend
oscarpiastri: i am NOT !!
landonorris: don't worry i'm sure y/n finds it cute
oscarpiastri: can you please STOP !!
yourusername: not to prove lando right but it is very cute
user20: lando is taking his big brother role a bit too far
alexalbon: you were right @logansargent this is fun to watch
logansargent: oh just you wait until you find out the stuff he was saying in hospital
oscarpiastri: please stop telling people
alexalbon: from what i heard she was right there @yourusername what did he say logan is being a good friend (for now)
yourusername: considering i literally fried my leg getting him out i don't remember most of that day
alexalbon: UGH you people are no help
yourusername: ???
oscarpiastri: ???
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 2,560 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: no pulling this one out of a burning wreck this weekend 👍
view all comments
user21: omg oscar's smile ??? i am faint
landonorris: do i mean nothing to you?
yourusername: i am literally oscar's guest let me rep him in peace
landonorris: booooooo if you're going to wear his number might as well ask him out while you're at it
yourusername: mind your business, i know what i'm doing
user22: Y/N?????????
oscarpiastri: i see you know my angles already, can you come every weekend?
yourusername: i'd love to but i have a lil thing called a job :(
oscarpiastri: boring, can't you be my full time personal photographer?
landonorris: and his girlfriend?
oscarpiastri: do you mind?
landonorris: what? i'm just trying to help
oscarpiastri: you are MEDDLING
yourusername: you guys done?
oscarpiastri: yes
landonorris: NO
user23: lando is a no 1 y/n x oscar shipper he's so real
user24: y/n is so much stronger than me i'd hand in my notice right this second
yourusername: believe me i would if i could
landonorris: to both options?
oscarpiastri: LANDO STOP
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by alexalbon, oscarpiastri and 19,056 others
tagged: oscarpiastri
yourusername: happy to be your guardian angel baby x
view all comments
user29: new f1 parents just entered the chat
landonorris: i'm taking responsibility for this happening, you’re welcome
yourusername: stop right there buddy, this was all ME
oscarpiastri: nuh uh it was ME
yourusername: i asked YOU out?
oscarpiastri: technically yes, but i asked you to dinner first
yourusername: actually, if i remember correctly that was your mum
oscarpiastri: FINE you asked me out and i'm very glad you did and you ARE my guardian angel and you ARE way out of my league
landonorris: you said it i didn't
oscarpiastri: LANDO LET ME FLIRT IN PEACE YOU NUISANCE
landonorris: woah, you've changed bro
yourusername: are we finished boys?
landonorris: yes, and for real i am very happy for you guys
user30: lando saying he made this happen is the most lando thing ever
logansargent: can you tell him to stop ignoring me now?
yourusername: soz under strict rules not to fraternize with a traitor
logansargent: I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T HANDLE SPICE
user31: at least logan is self-aware
oscarpiastri
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by aussiegrit, yourusername and 702,443 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: sometimes all you need to do is flip an f1 car into a barrier and burst into flames to meet the love of your life (and give her third degree burns)
view all comments
user32: OSCAR WITH A BACKWARDS CAP TEACHING HER TENNIS SOMEONE CALL 911 I AM NOT OKAY
landonorris: okay we get it now you guys are cute
yourusername: for someone who was 'the reason we got together' you've changed your tune
landonorris: yes i am glad you have each other but that doesn't change the fact that i am LONELY and don't need to see gross couple stuff
oscarpiastri: you poor baby
landonorris: NO SYMPATHY?
oscarpiastri: i'm gonna cite all of your tomfoolery in the other comment sections
landonorris: okay fair
user33: okay but can we promise to never have a crash like that again?
yourusername: agreed
aussiegrit: happy for you kid
oscarpiastri: thank you mark :)
yourusername: so this is mark... hi?
aussiegrit: don't worry i've heard nothing but wonderful things about you, i look forward to meeting you at the next race
user34: y/n already has all of the approval oh wow
yourusername: i love you dummy (never do that again or i'll never talk to you again)
oscarpiastri: you got it, wins only from now on 🫡
yourusername: ur the champion in my heart
oscarpiastri: 🧡 🧡 🧡
logansargaent
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 304,788 others
tagged: yourusername, oscarpiastri
logansargeant: public shaming is good sometimes. though now i third wheel with only a fish by my side
view all comments
user35: i am SCREAMING
yourusername: oh florida boy, your time will come (don't put that fish pic on your tinder, i know you want to)
logansargeant: girls love fish?
yourusername: trust me they don't
logansargeant: is this just because oscar is bad at fishing?
yourusername: DELETE IT FROM YOUR TINDER PROFILE NOW OR THIRD WHEEL FOREVER
user36: what is going on here?
alexalbon: god logan this is tragic, how did you expose him and end up with a fish as your date
logansargeant: but is the size of the fish not impressive?
alexalbon: no, take y/n's advice
oscarpiastri: fine, you're forgiven. only because y/n found it cute, if she found it weird it would be you found at the bottom of a lake
logansargeant: ???????????? there was a chilli oscar
oscarpiastri: stop hiding behind your american passport, i'd eat that chilli for you
logansargeant: but it all worked out?
oscarpiastri: thankfully for you
yourusername: is it bad that this is kinda sexy?
logansargeant: he threatened to murder me?
yourusername: he's so protective 🫶
oscarpiastri: hehehehe thanks babe x
logansargeant: i give up.
note: WOAH two in one night? i am on a roll. anyhow, do enjoy, i love oscar so much so glad he extended !! xx
3K notes · View notes
cl6teen · 4 months
Text
old habits (die hard) ❀ cl16
in which charles charles has a knack for fucking things up, and you have a talent for slowly letting him back in
find part one here.
contains: social media au, ex!charles leclerc x fem!reader, angsty charles and yn living her best life, toxic relationships maybe, mentions of new partners, charles is a confusing man, charles is a jealous asshole
note: i don’t think this is the final part lmao it’s kinda left of a cliff (if u saw me repost no u didn’t)
your phone 📞
Tumblr media
charlie
hey
i miss you
a lot
read, 11:23 pm.
charlie
please don’t be like that y/n
i’m serious
you
charles you literally have a girlfriend
charlie
she’s not my girlfriend
you
do you think i’m stupid? like actually
charlie
no
but she really isn’t, we’re just talking
and hanging out i guess
you
oh my god
charlie
love, you know i miss you
you
yes, because finding another girl right after saying you only want to focus on racing sends me such a great message
you’re confusing as hell
charlie
i know, i really messed up.
i shouldn’t have broken up with you in the first place
but the season was getting so intense and i really want this championship, i thought it would be better for us to put it on pause to save us both the trouble
you
so what’s so different about her that makes her an exception?
charles
alex is easy for me
you
so i’m difficult?
charles
that’s not what i mean
you
no it is what you mean
i’m difficult for showing up to your races and being there when you need me
or when i’m there for you when you dnf? or when ferrari fucks up your strategy?
i was willing to stay friends with you after i did all that and you still broke up with me because i had hopes we would make it work and get back together
charlie
i do want to get back together
you
no you don’t
you moved on so quickly like i was nothing
charlie
you also got with someone too
you
because i didn’t want to look like an idiot seeing all the news after telling my friends i had hope
charlie
yeah but posting him in your bed??
you
so you’re just saying all of this because of that guy i posted?
wtf is your deal charles
fuck you
❀ instagram ❀
Tumblr media
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, alexalbon, and 70,331others
yourinstagram larger than life (in madrid)
view all comments
lilymhe oh my god
lilymhe you scandalous girl
yourinstagram oops?
landonorris he better watch his hands
yourinstagram he said “fuck off”
landonorris i’ll punch him in his face
carlossainz55 mariposa 🦋
yourinstagram 🥺
user are these two dating???
4zaferrari no they’re just friends, this is someone else
kikagomes sexy sexy pair 💋
yourinstagram you’re sexier bebe
pierregasly get away from my girlfriend
yourinstagram get off my page maybe?
alexalbon show me the man
yourinstagram no you’ll just steal him
user loved watching your vlog the other day
liked by yourinstagram
user seeing yn happy is so great but i can’t be the only one missing her and charles right??
user where are you going next omg!!
yourinstagram no idea!!
lando.jpg updated their story 1 hour ago
Tumblr media
seen by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1 million others
yourinstagram replied to this story: i did not give permission for you to post this young man!
❀ twitter ❀
Tumblr media Tumblr media
your phone 📞
Tumblr media
charlie
you put him in your vlog? and you’re still posting him?
are you dating
y/n
are we seriously doing this right now
why are you stalking me
charlie
i’m not stalking you, i just care
fuck just answer the question please
y/n
i’m barely posting him, his face wasn’t in it
and no, we’re just seeing each other right now. yk summer flings i guess
charlie
you know it hurts me to see this y/n, please love
y/n
i don’t care, we’re not together anymore
you texting me is hurting everyone, your “friend” included
charlie
she knows we’re not dating
please just come back to monaco y/n
we can talk face to face
can i call you right now?
you
i’m with carlos and lando
charlie
are you also with that guy
you
yeah
charlie
will you finally tell me who he is?
you
does it really matter?
let’s just talk when i’m back in monaco please
and let me enjoy my vacation in peace
charlie
when are you back?
you
i’ll let you know
charlie
okay
i love you
you
yeah
love you too
❀ instagram ❀
yourinstagram updated their story 10 mins ago
Tumblr media Tumblr media
❀ twitter ❀
Tumblr media
tags: @1655clean @i-wish-this-was-me @sunny44 @leclercdream
1K notes · View notes
chosaya · 7 months
Text
BEGINNERS GUIDE FOR NEW WRITERS !
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A/n: this for my beginner writers who actually want to write a piece or work for the first time!
Tumblr media
✰you finally want to start writing for fandoms popular or not it’s okay! write whatever YOU want to. (we don’t judge whatever work you decide to post).
✰no inspiration or fic ideas I got you babes! here here here. here. here here here you can also combine these Au’s together if you’d like to!
✰you don’t have any motivation to write or writers block for short.
Take this time to relax and think about what you want to write deeply and take your time when you do!
Light a candle, get cozy and write little reminders you’d like to add into your fic’s later on.
take a self care take for yourself, away from any devices and clear you mind.
Tumblr media
✰FINDING YOUR WRITING STYLE !
everyone has different writing styles ! Your writing can be different from others (ex: adding details, dialogue etc, be creative!)
✰PLAGIARISM IS A BIG NO !
plagiarism isn’t cute never was, with that being said taking people’s fic and passing it off as your own then playing the victim again isn’t cute it’s wrong. Here’s my suggestion save yourself the of the anon hate and write your own ok?. Don’t do this shit.
We do this for free as a writer myself, author can spend hours writing with or without sleep (sometimes) so don’t rush them! Be patient, authors have life outside this app.
✰COMMENTS/SUPPORTING YOUR WRITER !
your probably thinking maya was is this important? because your author needs all the lover and support they can get. it’s also because they’re a lack of “reblog’s” and “comments” these days even the small things can make your author happy!
✰MORE RECOURSES (these are some of the authors if you’re looking to write smut for you can ask them!)
@kazushawty @omgeto @hoshigray @luxesiren plus more those are the ones I can remember on the top of my head right now!💕
✰DETAILS !
You can add the smallest details in your story! that your readers with comments on, like adding descriptive, it could be body language or how the readers feels it matters! (It helps make your fic’s longer)
Adding plot twists in your story can make your reader more interested in your story and makes them want to follow and read more.
✰ thesaurus!
you can use this if your constantly using the same words over and over and want to switch up your word game!
Tumblr media
if you have anymore questions let me knowww!
891 notes · View notes
sunboki · 4 months
Text
⎯ CHRISTMAS BLUES a Hwang Hyunjin fiction
Tumblr media
🎄 : Hwang Hyunjin x implied! fem. reader
TROPE. enemies to lovers, exes to lovers, reader is a writer, one bed au, forced proximity au, hyunjin is an artist(not mentioned a ton), coincidences
WORD COUNT. 7.3k words ☆ 40 minute read
WARNINGS. cursing, angst galore, mention of sex (non desc.), breakup, hurt feelings, making up, mentions of getting drunk
AUG'S NOTES. this is a stupidly lovestruck hallmark christmas mindset talking, whatever you read below is definitely not me… definitely. anyway, happy holidays to everyone that celebrates! this has been sitting in my drafts for months now, initially planned to be a smau, then a fic!! hope this fic exceeds your expectations, feel free to leave a reblog or comment of your thoughts!
PLAYLIST.
SYNOPSIS. You thought getting a call from Hyunjin was the last thing you needed during the holidays, but when he reminds you of your non-refundable tickets to Paris you had booked seven months prior to your earth-shattering breakup, you realize that his call was the least of your problems.
or alternatively :
Just a week over Christmas with your ex in Paris, what could go wrong?
Tumblr media
Every circumstance has a question that goes along with it.
How did I get so lucky? Why did you leave?
As for yours, it’s fairly simple.
Where did we go wrong?
Tumblr media
December 18th – Seoul, South Korea.
Holding onto what could’ve been is stupid, you agreed upon that mindset a long time ago. However, the past, Him being the past, lingered around you like the scent of citrus still clinging beneath your fingernails even after washing your hands. Everywhere. He was everywhere. And no matter how hard you tried to erase the memories of what was, they served their memory purpose and disfigured your mind all the same.
And so, you replaced it.
Replaced the hurt, the searing burn, with someone else. Who turned into someone else, and someone else after that till the only thing sufficing any weekly relationship was a no-strings attached notion.
Until you met Seungmin.
He was your vice, the person dragging you out of your self-made hole of false sanctuary and safety. He laid all his flaws on the table, showed himself to you. Seungmin was gentle and kind, he was patient— more patient than anyone else in this world— and loving. Oh so loving.
But behind your undying affection for your boyfriend, he saw something you didn’t. Perhaps in your eyes, perhaps in your soul, bared to him on an onslaught of occasions.
Longing.
He saw longing in your treasured hues, longing for someone that wasn’t him.
Because some scars take longer to fade away, but yours hadn’t even begun to heal. Masked with his many layers of band-aids only to never staunch the cut, the one Hwang Hyunjin left on you.
“Seungmin I’m so sorry—“
“You love him, I know,” He nods his head, a sad, soft smile holding place on his lips.
Tonight was the night he officially talked about it. The unforgivable thought continuing to incessantly plague his mind.
Although, he didn’t regard you sourly for it. That connection you had with Hyunjin was something no other person could return nor deliver, and he had to accept that if he really loved you.
If Seungmin really loved you, he wanted the best for you, even if that meant the best were when you weren’t with him.
You were shocked when he brought up the matter, asked if you really missed him, asked if you still loved him. Yes, you had of course discussed your previous relationship, but never to this extent, never so blatantly.
Though the absolute kindness in both his tone and the way he looked at you, seated at the dinner table, kept you from lying.
It’s not fair. Not fair for Seungmin, your boyfriend, to have to take responsibility for your tormented feelings. But here he is, assuring you nevertheless.
Because he’s known. He knew from the start you weren’t over Hyunjin. Knew that, despite so much ache and anguish he caused, your heart can’t help but beat at his pace, fruitlessly connected.
And he knew in the end things would fall apart just like this, and his spot as a placeholder would fall apart along with it.
That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt though.
“He hurt you, but you love Hwang Hyunjin, I know.” He whispers, fingers tightly twined beneath the table. There’s a sort of hiccuping sound bubbling up from your throat. You stave it down.
“I’m sorry.”
He smiles, smiles when you don’t deny it, reaching forward for your trembling hands to take in his own.
“I want you to be happy, Y/N. I’m not the one you’ll be happy with though.”
A soft squeeze before he rises and curves to where you sit, free-flowing tears threatening to cascade past glossy eyes.
Without hesitation you wrap your arms around him in a hug, chest wracking with unfiltered sobs. Guilty. Guilt is devouring your soul. You don’t deserve Seungmin, nor does he deserve to be hurt so cruelly by someone he loves. But here you are, ruining him.
He’d never admit it, but the pain in his eyes—the ones you’ve stared at countless times—will always remain evident. No amount of smiling or laughing can hide that.
Pulling back while your arms stayed hooked upon his shoulders, you savor the kiss he places on your lips, the ones he delicately pressed to each of your wrists.
Sad. It’s a sad kiss. A kiss that causes your entire body to wilt against him, crashing deeper and deeper into his warmth, his comfort. He’s not false, he’s real. A real, unadulterated love you’re undeserving of.
Guilty.
“If you’re happy,” He breathes, leaning in to land gentle pecks all over your face, forehead connecting with your own. “I’ll be okay.”
Tumblr media
December 20th – Seoul, South Korea.
Your room is still exactly as it has been. Pillows faced the same way, sheets still tousled and hanging halfway off the bed. Hell, he hasn’t even touched the blinds — staying open throughout countless nights, your perfume lingering.
Like he was afraid his touch would break apart what he had left of you.
He hopes, swallowing down the remainder of wine in his glass, you’ll be able to look back and laugh at what used to be, find the matter childish and ridiculous.
What you used to be.
Lovers.
Not kids anymore, you taught him once before. You also taught him how deep a love could be. There’d always be a space for you here, just as you left it. Although, he doubts you’d come back. In fact, you’ve probably moved on with your life. Found someone else to fill the space he did.
But maybe, if he keeps the room as it was for long enough, your room; if Hyunjin keeps those tiny paper notes you wrote for him long enough, you would come back.
What a lie.
Wishful thinking takes you far then drops you into festering despair over and over, he’s learned this the hard way.
Starting with a text.
Tumblr media
He blinked once, then twice, then three times—picking apart his brain in order to recollect anything, any details whatsoever that could decipher this random message on a Monday morning.
Paris.
Paris?
Paris.
It hits him, evidently.
Immediately clutching his head and simultaneously slapping an aghast hand over his mouth, a sensation recognizable as utmost horror obliterates his soul into pieces, quite literally rocking his world.
Months ago, he remembered.
You’d been stupid, you’d been drunk, and impulsively booked the tickets, laughing off the “no refunds” reminder as if nothing would’ve ever happened.
It did though. And now he’s dealing with the karma in return for that idiotic decision. Soon enough you both will.
Non refundable tickets to Paris, two days from now, together.
What were the chances?
Blindly tapping his password into his phone, he (just as blindly) jams his finger to the first caller he sees, who turns out to be Minho, seeming like both a blessing and a curse in unison.
Never before had Hyunjin so clearly lost his mind and control of his words, but there’s always a first time for everything, right?
“Minho, what the hell am I supposed to do? She hates me and the flight is booked two days from now. This is just.. Fuck!” Hyunjin pours, slamming his hands against the steering wheel, burying his head into the leather as if that would magically make his endless desperation disappear.
He didn’t usually curse, so when he did, whatever had happened was serious. He carried his words elegantly, proficiently.
He'd be the last picked candidate for elegance right about now.
“If I were Chan I would’ve said you should still try talking to her about it, but in my opinion that wouldn’t change a thing. So suck it up Hwang, it can’t be that bad.”
Ah. Remind me why I ever decided to call you hoping for advice.
‘Hwang’ was the name his friend had reserved for him, coming from a long line of tissues in the mouth and other ways Minho would pick fun at the blonde. But he was at least trying to help, somewhat.
How he got himself into this situation is honestly laughable, situation being your nasty breakup and a plane to Paris.
Great. Paris is great, right? Wrong.
Because this stupid, stupid trip to Paris isn’t one he’s going on alone to enjoy the sights and delicacies there, it’s one with you, the girl who ripped his heart in half two months ago. The trip you’d planned while you were still head-over-heels, not hating his guts.
Oh, and your tickets were nonrefundable. Couldn’t forget about that part.
“.. What am I gonna do?”
“Suck it up, duh.”
“And please enlighten me on how the hell I'm supposed to ‘suck it up’ in a plane seat right next to her for thirteen hours and spend every day glued to the hip, your honor.”
The mental picture of Minho’s fraud-innocent face through the line grated his nerves like nothing else. Brows lifted, mouth slightly open. He wanted to punch that imaginary face so badly right now.
"Then follow Chan’s tutorial on making it up to your now-ex. You asked me for my opinion, and you got it. Look, all I’m saying is this is a good chance to get some level ground between you two, even if you still fly back hating each other—"
“I don’t hate her,” Hyunjin quickly quips.
Honestly, truthfully, he doesn’t hate you, he can’t hate you and he doubts he ever will. You were the one responsible for years upon years of the best moments of his life, how could he hate you for that?
Although, by the way you looked at him that night, he doubts your response would be the same.
Minho sighs.
"Even better, you could fly back with her hating you slightly less."
For once the snarky man he was spilling his problems to had provided decent reason, it was terrifying.
From a spectators point of view, his utter fit had to be quite a sight. For the record, witnessing thee calm and collected Hwang Hyunjin go insane in his car wasn’t a sight you’d see on a regular day.
But today wasn’t a regular day. Instead, it was the day he found himself trapped in a loophole of love and war with his ex.
What were the chances?
Tumblr media
There’s no book that could wholly describe Hyunjin.
Even as a writer yourself, not even Shakespeare could depict him to the full extent. He’s flawless but so flawed, kind and yet malicious in terms of his brilliantly unfair beauty.
Every day you run into Hwang Hyunjin. The first few times, you called it coincidence, told yourself his meeting happened to be at the same time, maybe he was headed to a neighboring coffee shop.
Well, before those few days turned into every day on your commute.
And when a breakup is as nasty as yours was, it’s not too refreshing constantly seeing your ex on the daily afterward.
Today, Hwang Hyunjin is wearing a tan trench coat that reaches down to his knees. He’s wearing the same tennis shoes as always (except his usual camera is absent from the picture), and his hair is pulled up, soft, sandy strands framing either side of his face. He stands on the other side of the crosswalk, occupied with his phone while you internally ridicule him.
Staring daggers into his frame, the frigidly cold beverage in hand doesn’t aid in warming up chilling temperatures burning your fingertips, signs of winter’s impending approach.
He looks up.
You avert your gaze to your shoes. You can feel his eyes on you; feel them traveling over your body, then to your face, boring into your skull. He’s waiting, watching.
And somehow, you know you’ll eventually have to make eye contact. Because on your normal route, your turn left on Harrison street, then right on Fords. He’s there. Unbelievably, wildly, he’s there.
It’s the one factor in your (almost) perfect life without him that makes things hell.
Back then, you were like clockwork. Not a minute going by without someone being awake. You taking a nap after spending two hours searching synonyms on Thesaurus, Hyunjin just waking up, heading out with his signature Canon camera loosely hung around his neck.
Two perfect oppositions leaving their cluttered love scattered all over a cheap apartment.
For Hyunjin, it was the mug you’d gotten him last christmas labeled in bold font: “ART WHORE”, while yours was an equally degrading “SHE WOULD RATHER FUCK THE MEN IN HER BOOKS” sticker print slapped on the back of your laptop.
Little did you know you’d be desperately scraping the sticker off seven months later, that you’d leave your chapter unfinished since breaking up and that he had likely thrown away that mug.
Or maybe not. Maybe he painted over it, scribbled it out and somehow made it look good. Hyunjin has a way of making anything catastrophic look pretty.
You, on the other hand, are an erupting volcano. One that cries its lava onto the earth and doesn’t leave a pretty photograph. One that froths and rumbles, and destroys things as it goes.
Perfect opposites, exactly.
Now for the real question, the monumental “where did we go wrong” part that served as an explanation.
Three little words.
I love you.
You lied.
Those are big words, big words for somebody. Big words for yourself, words you spoke to Hwang Hyunjin, looped in his apartment, making love on the couch.
Big words he didn’t return.
Big words that kept your heart stilled in your chest, left your lips blue, drowned as you collected your discarded clothes off the floor.
And you left.
You didn’t need the awkward silence, the “let me think about it”, the bullshit they spouted Kissing-Booth-style. You needed him, his reassurance when you were your most vulnerable. His three words that told you your three years together weren’t one sided, not wordlessly confessed through actions though too scared to say aloud – a feared incantation.
Words he never said. Because you did love Hwang Hyunjin, so much it consumed you into his favorite muse, him your inspiration. Then came the doubt. The recollection of your favorite, dearest moments. Was it all a lie?
Those hour-long seconds, tangled on his sofa, kept that incessant anxiety alive.
You thought you found the one when your drunk night didn’t turn into an orgasm you can’t remember, but rather being coaxed into a warm shower despite your complaining about your pants being too tight.
Somehow, you can still feel his tender kisses like a ghost of a presence, littering the skin of your shoulder instead of the sloppy alcohol ridden ones you’d known before, and for once you had woken up beside the person responsible — not to a note saying they had to leave early.
He was the one responsible for teaching you how to paint, propping you in his lap, hand guiding your own while tracing careful strokes on the canvas. It was hardly possible sitting on his stool together, though neither of you noticed (nor cared), too busy savoring the intimacy of the moment.
That was Hyunjin. He was the glass of water placed in front of you after one too many at happy hour. He was the relaxing bath when everything hurt, the shoulder to cry on.
But you were mistaken. He wasn’t the one. Seungmin was the one, the one you had left behind only to chase after a toxic remedy.
In fact, Hyunjin never was the one.
And it fucking hurt remembering that.
Tumblr media
December 21st - 22nd – Seoul, South Korea.
The last news you’d anticipated slammed into you like a bus.
Cozied up at your desk, a number pops up on your screen, interrupting the one moment of silence you managed to enjoy. Most people didn’t call during your work hours, except Seungmin, who, for the record, called before work.
The number you’d memorized by heart was not normal either.
Him.
“Before you curse at me,” He begins, and your hand hesitantly hovers over the call button, jaw clenched beyond reason, silence shouting loud. No strength in your bones allowed you to reply. Was it fear, hatred? Both most likely.
Taking the time to continue, his silky tone lulls along the line.
“Do you remember the tickets?”
Hatred seemed the dominant factor.
“What are you talking about?” You rhetorically snap, obviously annoyed albeit confused.
Tickets? It’s been three months, why the hell are tickets the first thing he’s mentioning?
He sighs. “The tickets to Paris. You remember, don't you?”
It takes you a moment, then, aha.
How could you forget? The tip of the iceberg of what two naive, lovestruck idiots thought would be forever. Little did they know everything would slip past their fingertips.
”Well um, did you know they’re non-refundable?”
Huh.
“WHAT?!”
You’d just managed to convince yourself free of Hyunjin, but he simply dragged you further into his labyrinth.
Or so you thought.
You had grown since he broke you (with the help of your better-ex, Seungmin). You evolved better (or so you told yourself). So out of the plentiful lessons you’d learned during your reflection, the factor that stuck with you most was that nobody is there to pick up for you. No matter how much you think they will.
You swore yourself into the belief Hyunjin would mend you, but you lived blind to the truth that he was just as broken as you were, a dog chasing its tail.
And so, you dealt with it.
In ways.
Whether that was incessantly talking to yourself, fanatically checking the date, contacting Felix on the verge of tears for him to laugh and then attempt at consoling your doom, or googling the best ways to run away from your predicament, fate had it out for you.
A disgustingly impertinent, unfairly fair fate.
Packing wasn’t all too stressful, unless you count trying on an entire entourage of outfits descending from dinner to snow-attire, then focusing on simple.
And it really shouldn’t have been so awful getting into your car, nonetheless waking up to realize today was the dreaded day, but it was, and you seriously deserved an award for the amount of times you checked your clock.
Although, you at least expected to have a little bit of time before having to face him again. Talking and interacting, not just drilling holes into his head. Little bit of time as in, a few years at least.
You were wrong.
Not the first time that’s happened.
“Hi Hyunjin.”
Answering his awaiting call with unsteady pitch, your eyes immediately gravitate to the blond-haired man. Taller in stature, leaning against a nearby pillar by your gate, staring directly at you.
Never had it felt so terrifying.
“Hey.”
You hesitate, never breaking eye contact with the man you’re speaking to a few meters away.
“Are we…Are we doing this again?”
He’s solemn. He’s not the same. Different.
“I don’t know. You decide for me.”
Never for a second does your gaze stray to his lips that barely move as he utters the line. Not the same either.
Before, you’d always been mesmerized by his lips. Then he’d notice and tease you prior to delivering the long-awaited kiss, again and again till you were breathless and your head became dizzy.
But this wasn't before; this is now, filled with grudges and sourness.
“You know I can’t make big decisions.”
That isn’t him. Isn’t the Hyunjin who would always provide endless tips and support, opinions unable to be held back without duct tape.
“Because you don’t want to get hurt knowing we chose this?” He whispers, and you tug your bottom lip between your teeth hard enough to bleed.
“Because I want better for us.”
“Y/n,” He sadly laughs, and your name rolling off his tongue sends an ache clawing your chest. It’s humorless, bitter in his throat.
“There is no us, only you and me, remember? So who do you want better for?”
There’s no twinkle in his eyes or his charming smile, it’s dry and painful, like he’d been crying.
You don’t want to think about that.
“Tell me something, okay?” Holding your phone to your ear with an iron grip, you slowly inhale through your nose, sparing a fleeting glance to the floor.
“Anything.”
“If I cry, will you hug me?”
“Do you want that?”
Question after question. He reaches in further, ripping out pieces of your soul with each inquiry. Stupid, sure. But genuine, all the way from the shrouded depths of your mind did you ask.
Of course you want that, want what’s so bad for you. No strength can make you admit it.
He knows the answer.
You hang up the call, fiddling around with your suitcase prior to wheeling the blundering thing over and ensuring you find a comfy spot out of Hyunjin’s sight.
Only five minutes of talking and you already feel as if your body is splintering into little pieces he’ll arrange into the perfect puzzle, ideal and pleasing.
He won’t. Not anymore he won’t.
And in that stead you’ll remain shattered.
What a shame.
Tumblr media
Now boarding Group Five. All passengers in Group Five are welcome to board.
The hailing announcement earns a muffled groan through your mask, begrudgingly rising to your feet while directing your attention solely upon the bridge and your tightly held boarding pass. Luckily, Incheon International Airport isn’t half as hectic as you anticipated, but you have a gnawing feeling Paris will have a lot more to say.
Truth be told, you thank every lesson on task focus you once deemed useless as you shuffle among Paris-goers to find your seat.
One that obviously had to be right by Hwang Hyunjin.
“How’s you and Seungmin?” He fixes the length of his headphones, sparing a quick look at you while speaking. You despise how easy he treats this, how easy he’s treating everything at the moment.
Unfortunately, booking this hell-on-earth back when either of you were in your demented fantasy-land meant sitting beside each other also, in assigned seats.
Cupid really needs to give up by now.
You grunt beside him, uttering a hushed, “We broke up.”
Tilting his head, Hyunjin presses his face closer, craning. Close enough that you hold your phone up as a barrier, shrinking away nearer to the window.
“…Who broke up with who?”
Asshole.
Sighing boisterously, you shove in your own earbuds, rolling your eyes. Hyunjin, cocking a brow, dejectedly slouched back. Although he doesn’t ask any more questions, and you successfully get through your first three hours in silence.
Well, prior to the flight attendant strolling by with her cart, mandatorily beckoning orders from each row.
Wheeling her cart over where your seats are, Hyunjin takes a ginger ale and the customary pretzels they hand out. So when she gets to you and you order a Sprite, the man to your right’s head snaps to you, giving you quite an incredulous cock of his brow.
“No ginger ale?”
You wrinkle your nose.
“I don’t like it,” Biting back, you interrupt him upon accepting the canned soft drink, expression bitter and unwavering.
“You always got it when you were with me” or “Wasn’t it your favorite” was what you expected to come out of his mouth, positively obliterating any ounce of peace of mind remaining inside your rattling skull. You weren’t about to sit another seven hours sulking about something your ex said.
The ex you were very much over.
Right.
Your new goal? Avoid genuine conversation for as long as possible, at least on this flight.
So, given the chance to be deep in thought, you came to a conclusion.
You were clockwork, just like before. Except now instead of just equaling the time of day, he was the hour hand and you were the minute hand, always chasing after one another only to briefly touch and start all over again in an endless cycle of time.
Although the rockier the air gets and the more your grip squeezes the armrest does your initial goal falter, finding his considerate gesture asking if you were alright practically impossible to keep from responding to.
Especially when a huge drop has his hand racing atop yours, both too nervous to truly let go.
Just the circumstances, you blame, as if this plane was the sole cause of your slamming heartbeat.
Bullshit.
Four days and this trip was going to be one for the books for a multitude of reasons, that’s for sure.
Let’s just hope you can land first.
Tumblr media
December 23nd – Paris, France.
His assuring hold on your hand guiding you through the bustling crowds of visitors and locals storming Charles de Gaulle Airport gives you this disgusting nostalgia, festering in your gut the longer you focus on his dark head of hair in front of you, kind, magnificent almond eyes flickering back to catch sight of you time and time again — like you’d magically sift from his grasp.
It’s a miracle you managed to hit ground in one piece, nevertheless end up with the notorious artist-jerkface named Hyunjin navigating you through an supremely overpopulated airport.
Perhaps it’s the scent of wispy pine or faint cigarette smoke that tinges the atmosphere such a rosy hue, perhaps everyone’s anticipation for the holiday’s. Either way, it certainly doesn’t help fuel your “absolutely NO touchy-feely-ness Hyunjin agenda”.
Well, you had no doubt you’d have to stick to your morals on this trip in the first place, and it’s not like the odds were supposed to work in your favor. Although, a little assistance would‘ve been nice.
Guess you’ll just have to make due.
Lovely.
“Thank you!” You shout, forcing your voice to sound chipper speaking to the Cab Driver (opposing the twenty-two hours of traveling you managed to survive through). Except now, you didn’t know what to do nor what to say standing outside the hotel entrance, especially not when Hwang Hyunjin was going to be biting your ass for the next few days.
Much to your luck though, it seemed he was just as clueless as you, both prioritizing just checking into your room first and foremost.
Thankfully, the sights are a wondrous source of distraction, and you devise a plan to go walking more often than not (and not just to avoid Hyunjin). Each building appears as if it’d been expertly carved from stone, historically aged beige, awnings titled a bottomless array of Grand Seiko and Jaeger-LeCoultre.
To add, huge paneled windows are placed in each room, allowing a breathtaking view of the city as evening dawns. Whether it’s a quaint bakery hitched right below a bookstore or the bell tower seated comfortably in the middle of a square—you could never get bored.
Seems your interest tore you away from an unwelcomed reality until Hyunjin cleared his throat, thick eyebrows raised questionably.
“..We could go ice-skating?” He offers, index pointing to the huge rink a few blocks to the left.
You don’t have to speak for him to know your response, unzipping your suitcase to gather a new change of clothes without a word.
“Look, I know you want nothing to do with me, but I doubt either of us will ever have enough money to come to Paris again, so just, do it for the experience, not for me.”
That’s it.
“For you? You think I’m doing this for you? Are you really that conceited to think I’m still catering to you, Hyunjin? I’ve changed whether you like it or not, and I’m not the girl that’s willing anymore,” You toss your clothing to the side, giving him a downright venomous stare. Loathing. “I’m not yours anymore.”
“In fact,” Spitting poison, you stab your index to his chest, causing him to back up the more you advance forward. “You don’t know shit about me.”
He appears torn. His nose scrunches, and his lips form a squabbled line upon his face, evidently troubled.
Somehow, those actions that normally earned your sympathy only reared your deftly oiled gears more, angrily roaring without fail.
“Because if you did, we wouldn’t be like this.”
Gesturing around, you retreat back a few steps, arms slapping your sides irritably. Meanwhile, the tall man remains silent, attention magnetically directed down at his shoes. And for a swift moment, mere seconds, you feel sorry — apologetic even.
It makes you sick to your stomach.
You exhale. “I’ll go, and not for you. Understood?”
Hyunjin doesn’t reply, biting his cheek as he watches you disappear into another room.
You thank the refreshing scent of peppermint for its momentary relief upon entering the bathroom, practically drenching your face in ice cold water over and over as if it’d clear your head.
For you; you’re doing this for you, nobody else, you remind yourself, prepping a washcloth and your toiletries whilst praying the warm shower water eases your blaring jet-lag.
Yet, you didn’t expect a visitor to suddenly pop in while you were mid-shampoo, and it seemed he didn’t expect it either.
You swore the prolonged eye-contact went on for centuries, absolute terror embracing every aspect of your face through the clear shower door.
“Fuck! Get out!”
Scurrying like a character off a cartoon, Hyunjin manages – through spilling apologies – to blindly ram himself into the door, hands gripping his skull.
Suddenly, he pauses, hesitating.
“Wait but I’ve seen you naked befo–”
“GET OUT!” You scream.
“Okay! Okay.” He hurriedly slips out, leaving you to rethink every decision made with his name involved. A recurring thought at this point.
And with that, you quickly accept that your jet lag isn’t even close to gone and likely won’t be as long as the artist sharing your hotel room is within a six-foot radius.
Oh, and you don’t know shit about ice-skating.
Tumblr media
Of course, Hyunjin is a natural on ice. He glides like a snow spirit, freer than ever. Meanwhile, your nails are embedded into your vice of a railing, knees shakily attempting at balancing with little success.
He’s the princess, and you’re the frog. It’s decided. Walking while you crawled, running while you walked. A step ahead that was at some point motivating, now plain humiliating.
The ice rink is jam-packed, citizens and tourists alike savoring the crisp winter, the faded twinkling of lights glittering in the distance.
“C’mon, just one?”
You, clawing the icy edge, confusedly avert your focus to where the voice came from.
It’s Hyunjin, gesturing to his camera while you piece together his request before childishly whining your despair. He lifts his toboggan upward, a few endearing tufts of golden peering out to hang over crescent moon eyes, evidently smiling.
Leave it to this man to test your sanity. How could anybody say no when he looked that cute.
“Fine, one.”
Not like I could run off anyway, you mentally consider, finding the fact your legs are quite literally flailing as a good enough sign to give in.
“Yes!” He chirped happily, hurriedly fiddling with his camera.
Watching him with that kind of expression, you witness your Hyunjin again, fumbling around, so excited about the smallest of things.
It hurts.
“I..” He trails off, voice barely audible whilst winking to see through the lense. “Don’t want to miss a moment of you.”
“What was that?”
The camera flashes, and you wonder if you heard him correctly.
“Oh nothing.” His lips curl into a sheepish grin, easing toward you and unexpectedly prying your hand into his own, involuntarily pulling you along.
Panickedly, you clutch onto any article of clothing available (another goodbye to your no-touchy-feely-ness Hyunjin agenda) similar to the handrails, squeezing your eyes shut while painfully awaiting a harsh slam against rock-hard ice.
A harsh slam that never happens.
You cautiously open an eye.
“One, two, one, two.” He counts steadily, soaring across the ice, unable to contain the huge beam the longer he watches you. Captivating.
You fight the urge to smile, the sensation of wind whipping your hair and his warm, reminiscent touch setting your nerves into a dopamine frenzy, making the routinely frown much harder than need be.
Nevertheless, perhaps staying in Hyunjin’s grasp would’ve been the safer option. Because with confidence comes failure (at least in your book of life), and your knees would’ve definitely appreciated not getting ruined.
“Are you alright?” Hyunjin murmurs, sympathetically regarding your black and blue frame, looking worse for wear, skates in hand.
“Amputation has never sounded more tempting,” Grumbling, you hobble to return your skates, the man tailing behind you choking back his giggle, kindly waiting in case you stumble.
From the way things are going, the probability is high. Except, Hyunjin walks on eggshells, worried you might rip his head off in the case he asked the question sitting tentatively on the tip of his tongue.
Keeping himself contained had never been as unbearable as when with you, constantly having to refrain from wrapping your precious self into his arms, witness those warm, beautiful hues blinking at him like globes.
Five minutes into the walk back and your near-face-plant-turned-catastrophe was his last straw.
“Can I at least carry you?”
Your head snapping back was almost comical, ogling at Hyunjin as if he told you he’d been neutered or something.
Insane. He’s officially gone insane.
So have you, apparently. Because after getting all too familiar with the icy side walk for a fifth time, you give in, stifling your thoughts from erupting out of your skull—feeling like your entire earth was slowing down on its axis when he easily swept you off your feet.
Cute, hell, romantic too, until you arrive back at the hotel and the curious looks sent your way have your cheeks burning.
“This is so embarrassing.” You whine, burying your face in your hands. Of course, Hyunjin just laughs.
You missed his laugh.
And he cares for you that night, transporting you from room to room in his arms despite your complaints you could do so yourself (although you secretly preferred it, and no, not because it was Hyunjin, only because of how bruised your legs were).
Plus, the mental exhaustion was practically debilitating, sleep beckoning you into its cozy embrace as the clock ticked on the wall. The man before you knelt in front of where you sat on the side of the bed, gently applying antiseptic to your cuts while you blanked in and out of consciousness.
Any common sense had completely abandoned you. Certainly, since you hadn’t noticed only one bed sat dead center in the room. Nor had you noticed through your half-asleep eyes how sweetly he maneuvered you around, pulling the comforter snug over your body.
His hand strays, wistfully smoothing some hair from off your eyebrow.
“I’m sorry,” He whispers, gathering spare pillows and blankets.
He’ll sleep on the floor.
Tumblr media
December 24th – Paris, France.
Apparently, there was much more to this Paris dilemma than just the “going to Paris” part (excluding, y’know, the havoc that’s occurred over the past three days).
This fantastic surprise came in the form of a booked Louvre Museum date, now a bit more like a punishment with your current state of soreness merely rising up from bed. And, in turn, seeing Hyunjin sawing logs on the floor below, an action you were inaudibly grateful for.
You two are a different kind of romantic if that’s what you want to call it, especially when Hyunjin practically barricades the bathroom door, nonsensically shouting that he won’t make the same mistake of walking in ever again.
Sweet gesture, but it gets a tad bit irritating when you have to basically charge the door in order to move the chair situated behind it, making you doubt if it was to keep Hyunjin himself out or keeping you in instead.
Yeah. Different kind of romantic. Exes kind of romantic.
Once 5pm rolls around, you’re already dressed and ready to leave, trying your darndest to pretend you’re doing something on your phone to evade conversation. A middle school move, though your ego is on the brink of becoming extinct anyway.
Seems the final act is when Hyunjin steps out of the bathroom, wearing that tan trench coat he always did.
He notices you analyzing, stifling a very tempting smirk.
“I thought you’d like this jacket. Y’know, since you stared at it all the time.”
With a sentence you watched your endangered ego obliterate in real time, embarrassment swallowing you whole. The cycle is neverending.
Thankfully, at least one factor in your unsolvable equation proves itself useful, the factor being your already purchased tickets, granting an earlier entrance into what felt to be a new world.
A new world you recognized as Hyunjin’s world. Vast, expansive. A place you can get lost in and be okay with. Stories hidden behind gold-rimmed frames, so much to tell if only you’d listen.
He lingers by the Psyche and Cupid sculpture longer than usual. Briefly, he told you about them many moons ago. Their love awakening from something much more tragic, apocalyptical.
What a coincidence.
You spend what feels to be days in there, daylight from the lengthy windows overhead falling dark by the time you’re finished. The temperature dropped exponentially while you explored, ignorant to the frigid conditions till realizing you still had your trek back.
Curse the taxi service for not running twenty-four hours.
“You grew your hair out.” You comment, but it’s not really a comment, more like an observation you already knew and felt the need to point out for some odd reason. The awkward silence is suffocating enough.
Granted, you’d known his hair had grown. You saw him every day coming to and fro from work, so any adjustments he made you saw, some of which you remember loving oh so much.
This adjustment was his hair.
Hyunjin’s lips quirk ever so slightly, fingers straying up to tousle a strand.
“You used to love it when I grew it out.”
He continues to walk ahead, ignoring how you had stalled behind, numb grip desperately clutching your puffer jacket as if it’d magically allow you inhalations.
“You would tie it up for me, and stick my paintbrushes in the bun.”
This time, he spins around, seemingly unaffected by your (both literally and figuratively) frozen finger that simply blinks at him — robotic-like.
Like Hyunjin is a stranger. Like your Hyunjin, the old one you were mad for, is now a stranger.
“And I,” He sniffs in, his exhale causing a cloud of air to comprise in its stead. “Really wanted to marry you.”
There’s your breaking point.
He’s pulled you thread by thread closer to an unthinkable free fall, a freezing free fall. Unfurling your strings of yarn to no point of repair. So as you teeter on the edge, your defense mechanisms kick in. And before you can logically consider your options, you smack him.
Right. Across. The face.
He’s stunned, you don’t blame him for that, but there’s also a crinkle in his brows, a look of utmost hurt beginning to stain any somber expression left.
“You have no right to say that when you’re the one that caused all of this.” Your volume increases, unaffected by the glances from passerby.
You have no doubt the two of you are quite a scene, though common sense had long abandoned you, and no thought but fiery rage curls around you, tendrils alight.
“Why the hell did you want to marry me if you can’t even love me? Quit hurting and confusing me Hyunjin, I can’t keep doing this.” Practically pleading, he pulls his palm from where it babied his cheek, instead retreating to your wrists, keeping you in front of him.
“Listen.”
“No!” You screech, trying your hardest to escape.
“Listen.”
You pause, gingerly allowing him to adjust the scarf over your pink nose and ensure your gloves trap warmth for your fingers.
He bites his lip, gaze dancing across your features.
“I love you.”
You shakily exhale, wishing everything would just stop. Time would simply diminish into nothing but stillness, easiness.
Your anguish and anger was easy, and staying mad was a whole lot easier than this—confronting the pains of meeting him again, nonetheless this trip.
He’s finding the pieces to your puzzle.
You want to hide.
Worst of all? Especially hearing him say the words that ended you two months prior.
Cruel.
“I loved you,” His voice wavers. “More than anything, Y/n. And I still do. But when you said that, I got scared.”
He shakily inhales, the grip on you lessening a bit.
“Because when I say I love you back, that means I have someone to lose.”
It’s hypocritical, you know.
Hell, you know what it’s like to be a hypocrite more than anything right now. From hearing the godforsaken news to sitting in an airplane together after wholeheartedly promising yourself you’d never let him have you once more.
Yet here you were, dragging him by his collar into a kiss.
He kisses you back, like an idiot, childishly grasping his clothing-cladden frame against your face and savoring the small bit of heat huddled between where your lips meet.
His trench-coat, you remember, despite so many adjustments, is the same as usual, and it’s almost comforting to find he smells the same as well—floral, with hints of jasmine (mainly thanks to his favorite perfume). You remember that too.
Guess some things never change.
Perhaps he kept that mug after all, drank from it every day like he used to.
And perhaps, right now, he’s wishing back all the time you’ve spent apart, just like you are. Wishing you would’ve just talked like mature, capable adults. Figured things out.
Newsflash, you’re not mature adults. You’re two broken lovebirds fighting to find their song after being caged together, searching high and low for the perfect pitch when all you needed was a single note, a single start.
Positioning you where an arm wraps around your back, the other holding your cheek, he dips you as if in a ballroom dance, not kissing beneath a street light.
Everything is pretty in Hyunjin’s presence.
“Hwang Hyunjin,” You whisper, nostrils burning the longer you’re surrounded by snow, falling in hefty sheets at this rate.
He hums into your lips, maneuvering his head to kiss away the chilled tears beginning to froth upon your waterline. And in those moments, you feel so fragile, so weak in his touch.
Almost instinctively, his grip tightens oh so slightly.
“I really don’t want to lose you.”
And he laughs, a muffled laugh that nonetheless causes his shoulders to shake before delving further into your kiss, melting away every bit of anguish you felt, all the hurt and ache. Dissolved into nothingness by his lips.
Figures briefly illuminated by the light of the street lamp, you remain ignorant to the encroaching nightfall, the way the stars seamlessly blend with white snowflakes. Something out of a fairytale.
You’re certain you could’ve stood there forever, all numb and freezing cold.
But in love. So very in love.
For him you would’ve stood there. And the you still in denial without understanding this entire story would’ve died before admitting that.
This time, you’re okay with letting him finish the puzzle, create a song as lovebirds.
“You won’t, I promise,” He traces your cheek with his thumb. “Now let’s get someplace warm, shall we?”
Landing an affectionate peck to your burning red nose, he takes your hand, guiding you through climbing snow toward your hotel, sign reading “Hôtel de Vendôme” glittering in the distance.
In your opinion, however, it was too fleeting. A kiss you hadn’t realized you’d been waiting for until it actually happened, till you pathetically craved it again and again.
Although, that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy gaining feeling back in your fingers and toes, treasuring the flicker of the fire crackling beneath a brick mantel. A few guests litter the lobby, dishing paper cups of hot chocolate left and right, taking the opportunity the mistletoe hanging above a long forgotten stairwell provides.
Christmas Eve and you’re beside the ex you swore you’d never spend it with, spend any time with generally. So surreal you simply cannot stop thinking about it, enough that you become too distracted to notice the mischievous glint in Hyunjin’s vision.
Well, before he points upward and you notice the dangling mistletoe.
And he kisses you again just like you wanted. Deeper, slower, like separating would cause you to break apart, carving your kiss into his memory for a second time.
Standing there, too lost in him to ever consider anything better than this, you begin to think maybe you’ll be able to finish that stagnant book of yours. Maybe it’ll be about two lovers turned two exes, whose trip to Paris might just have been the cherry on top to hurt feelings and broken love. Because, at the end of their tribulations, Cupid falls in love with Psyche.
And you begin to think—as the clock’s ringing announces midnight has arrived—maybe this Christmas will pass by on a good note.
No, you’re certain of it.
Tumblr media
sunboki, may 2022 ©
FIC TAGLIST. @slut4colinbridgerton @armystay89 @shujohajohaminnie @minhosbitterriver @callmedarlingsstuff
581 notes · View notes
Honey Girl. Chapter Six.
Tumblr media
Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Five. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.
Chapter Synopsis - You finally start to appreciate the happiness that having a soulmate brings.
Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au
Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. so much fluff.
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 5k
Author's Note - the sixth installment!! thank you to everyone who voted in my poll - I listened, and decided to make this chapter as sweet as pie, because I think we all need it. it's nice to have a little break from the angst. just a liiiiittle break though. a tiny one. as always, thank you for all of your love and support and enthusiasm and patience and kindness towards this story. so much love for every one of you. <3
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Masterlist. Inbox.
Tumblr media
"Are you happy?"
You stretch your feet further into the sand and sit up, wiggling to get comfortable on the picnic blanket.
"That's a big question to start with."
Stella laughs and closes her notebook, deciding to take a different route than originally planned.
"I just mean... be honest with me. I'm not gonna be offended if you say no."
"Do you think I'm gonna say no?"
"Do you always have to answer my questions with questions?"
You tilt your head and watch her, smiling softly.
"I thought this was supposed to be an employee performance review."
"You're not my employee and you know it."
Both of you laugh, the sound whipped away by the sea breeze.
"Then what am I, Stella?" you chuckle.
"You're basically my partner. Come on, we've done all of this together. You helped me build this business from the ground up - I couldn't have done it without you."
You go to protest, so she continues.
"I think you should be. My partner, that is. Obviously there's logistics to work out, but it'd be fifty fifty. You and I, co-owners. It doesn't feel right to me that you're my 'employee'. I'm not your boss. We're equals."
Your mind is running a mile a minute, trying to process what Stella's asking of you. Being her business partner is an opportunity you know is rare and incredibly special - and it could potentially set you up for life - but you can't help but think about the fact it's a big commitment. About home. About Bucky.
"You don't have to answer me right now - I just want you to think about it. We always talked about opening up businesses of our own. I should have asked you to be my partner at the beginning, but honestly... I didn't know if you were gonna stick around. It kinda felt like you had one foot out the door when we started."
You take a deep breath, nodding.
"Yeah. I, uh - I think I did. Don't get me wrong, I was super excited, but the idea of moving away when I felt like I'd just got home was a lot to process. I'd just settled back there, and then I was gonna be packing up all of my stuff again and shipping myself across the country. "
"I didn't realise it was so tough for you, you know. I just assumed you wouldn't mind moving. I mean, you were always up for it, back at school."
"Things changed, after I graduated. I got home, and a couple of things happened and I guess it just... turned everything upside down. Home is different now. In a good way, I think."
"You're different now, too."
You look at her carefully, half attempting to read her mind.
"How do you mean?"
"You're... more grounded. More careful. You think through everything way more than you ever did. Almost like you've realised you're not invincible anymore."
There's a feeling, when you're young, that you're indestructible. Unharmable. Broken bones mend, cuts and bruises heal, hearts and minds forget about their aches if you give them long enough.
Then one day, that feeling is gone. And you realise that you're mortal - made of flesh and blood and bones that will one day be returned to the Earth, whether you like it or not.
Meeting your soulmate is like having that realisation again, but bigger. Again, and again, and again. You don't live for yourself, anymore. You live for them. The pain they'd feel if they lost you is unfathomable, completely unimaginable.
So you become more careful. Less reckless. You drive a little slower, take things a little easier, quit your dangerous hobbies and unhealthy habits. You need to be alive for as long as possible. And you know your soulmate will do the same.
That's how you can tell a Tethered person from an Untethered one. Ask two people to go skydiving with you, and the Tethered one will tell you no. They can't risk it. It's not worth it.
Stella's right. You have realised you're not invincible anymore. You're a little more cautious when you climb ladders, you don't balance precariously on the kitchen counters anymore. You look twice when you cross the street, and don't risk it if there's a car coming and you could maybe get across.
You're also painfully aware that Bucky's older than you. He'll be turning forty in less than two years. Sure, he's not ancient, but it does mean you'll have less time together than Lacie will with Cameron, for example. And that hard truth makes you live a little less recklessly, every single day.
"I guess I just... grew up."
You're honestly not sure why you don't just tell Stella about Bucky. You know she'd understand. But there's a part of you that feels protective over what you have - territorial, even. Your Tethering is sacred, almost, and you feel the primal urge to guard it with your life. To lock it in a box and keep it away from anything that could harm it. The less people that know, the less damage that can be done. Maybe.
"I did too. The world is kinda scary now we're not in that little culinary school bubble, huh?"
"Yeah," you laugh. "We thought that was hard. Little did we know."
"Take your time, thinking about my offer. But just know that I really, really appreciate the fact that you're here. That you believed in me enough to move across the country. It means a lot."
"Of course," you say, reaching across to grab her hand. "I always believed in you, Stella. I always knew you'd do something great."
"We'd."
"Hmm?"
"We'd do something great. The two of us. Together."
"I always knew that we'd do something great," you correct.
You're starting to believe that, as time goes on. You were born to do this. You deserve to live your dreams.
Let the happiness seep through, you'd told yourself.
It finally feels like it is.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
"There's a guy here to see you."
Isabel pops her head around the door, grinning at you like she knows something you don't.
"Again?"
She nods, giggling.
"Let me guess... he's hot, tall, brown hair?"
"Bingo."
"Thanks, Isa. I'll be right out. Is it busy out there?"
"It's quieter than it was. There was a pastry rush this morning, but we're good now."
You laugh and hang up your apron, washing your hands quickly before making your way to the café.
You feel like you're having déjà vu, this situation oddly familiar.
Just like Isa said, he's stood waiting with his back to you, broad shoulders filling out his powder blue short sleeve button up.
You're excited to see Rafael again. You've been trying a new cookie recipe for his sister, and you're eager to get him to try it. You're mentally making a note to buy a nice box to put them in when you feel it.
The lights get a little brighter, the colours a little more vibrant. The tightness in your chest eases, allowing you to take a full, deep breath. You can suddenly hear the birds outside singing, melodies drifting through the open doors like a summer breeze.
The man turns around, and it's not Rafael.
It's Bucky.
You're moving before you can even process it, running and jumping into his arms. You inhale, revelling in his familiar scent. He's here. Your happiness has arrived.
"Surprise," he laughs quietly into your ear. "Miss me, honey girl?"
You beam a grin at him, pulling away to look at his handsome face.
"More than you'll ever know."
"Oh, I know. I feel it."
He places a hand over his heart gently, looking at you with pure adoration.
"What are you doing here?"
"It's been a month since your Mom's birthday. A month since I've seen your pretty face. A month too long."
You roll your eyes jokingly, so he continues.
"You don't mind that I'm here, do you? Because I'll go, if it's too much for you. I know me showing up unannounced is a lot to process."
"Don't go," you reply quickly, grabbing his hand. "I want you here, Buck. More than anything."
He leans in and presses his lips to yours, cradling your face in his warm hands. The background of the café melts away, the man in front of you the only thing that matters.
You pull away and smile at him, pressing your forehead into his gently.
"Come back to the kitchen with me. Let's get away from all the noise."
You grab his hand and pull him with you, ignoring the excited giggling from Isabel behind the counter.
Bucky perches against a counter, leaning back to allow you to stand in between his legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and peck his lips, stealing kisses in between giddy smiles.
"I hope you weren't expecting a day full of super exciting adventures. I've got a list full of stuff I've got to get finished by closing."
"Honey, I'm more than content to stay here and watch you work. There's nothing I love more than watching you bake."
You run your fingertips over his face carefully, gently tracing his features as you look at him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I don't care what we do, as long as we're together."
You wrap your arms around his middle, holding him as tightly as you can.
"I feel like I hit the soulmate jackpot," you whisper.
"No one's as lucky as I am," he whispers back. "Now, come on. Let me see you work your magic."
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
Bucky, it turns out, makes a damn good assistant.
Instead of just watching, he volunteers to help in whatever way he can. You set him onto weighing your ingredients, so you can focus on making and decorating. He takes his job very seriously, measuring down to the precise gram each time. You can't help but grin as you watch him concentrate, determined to get it right.
At lunch time, Isabel brings you both coffee and sandwiches, entering just as you're teaching Bucky how to properly fold in ingredients.
"Sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"You could never. Isa, this is Bucky. Buck, this is Isabel. Our best waitress."
He holds out his floury hand for her to shake.
"It's nice to meet you, Isabel. I've heard a lot about you."
"You have?"
Her eyes light up as she looks at you, fighting the smile off her face.
"My honey talks about you all the time."
Isabel glances between the two of you, clearly trying to figure things out.
"And you two are..."
"Soulmates," you say at the same time as Bucky does.
Her jaw drops for a moment, before she laughs.
"Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually."
You roll your eyes at her lovingly before Stella's voice calls her name from out front.
"I better go. But me and you are gonna talk about this later."
"Fine," you laugh.
"Nice to meet you!" Bucky shouts after her, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I like that we're just telling people now."
"Yeah, me too, actually. I thought it'd be scary, but... it feels right."
He slings an arm around your middle, pulling you into his side.
"We've still got the two most important people left to tell."
Your muscles tense and Bucky feels it instantly, running his thumb in patterns over your hip gently.
"I've been thinking about it a lot. I'm almost ready, Buck. We can't avoid it forever. Next time I'm home, I think we should do it. We should tell them."
Bucky hooks two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him.
"Are you sure? Once we tell them, we can't undo it. We'll only do it if you're one hundred percent sure."
"I'll be ready when the time comes. It'll be a huge weight off of both of our shoulders, which I think we both need."
"Okay then," he says, kissing your forehead. "Next time you're home."
Isabel clears her throat from the doorway, smiling sheepishly.
"I can't believe I'm saying this again, but... there's a guy here to see you."
You laugh, untangling yourself from Bucky with a kiss to his cheek.
"Send him through. Thanks, Isa."
The man you were originally expecting to see this morning walks into the kitchen, envelopes in his hand.
"Hey!"
"Hey, Rafael."
He gives you a quick hug, before waving at Bucky.
"Hey, man. You've gotta be the soulmate, right?"
Bucky chuckles, coming over to shake Raf's hand.
"Yeah, that's me. How'd you know?"
"Are you kidding? You can feel it the minute you walk into the room. There's like, electricity in here."
You laugh, hiking yourself up to sit on the counter. Bucky stands next to you, arms crossed over his broad chest.
"Here," Rafael says, handing you an envelope. "We're having a gala next month, for the charity that has supported my sister. We'd love it if you could come - and bring your date too, of course."
"I'd love to," you say as you read the invitation. "Do you need me to bring anything? You know I'll happily make something, if you guys need it."
"You would?"
"Absolutely! I could bring a cake, if you like? I haven't done a proper, three tiered cake in forever. I'd love to."
"That'd be... amazing. Seriously. We just want to raise as much money as possible."
"Of course. Thanks for these, Raf. How is she?"
"She's okay. She's getting a tiny bit stronger every day, and that's all we can really ask for."
You reach a hand out to squeeze his in support.
"You know where I am if you need anything."
"Of course. Thank you, so much. I've gotta run - I've got like a hundred of these invites to deliver. But I'll see you at the weekend?"
"For sure. See you, Raf!"
"Nice to meet you, Bucky."
"You too, man. Take care."
Isa shows Rafael out of the door, winking at you on her way out.
"Damn, he's handsome," Bucky laughs.
"Isn't he?" you giggle. "Nothing on my soulmate though, I'm afraid."
"Shut up," he blushes, leaning in to capture your lips. "You wanna get dinner when you're done here?"
"Yes, please. I'll show you around my new apartment too."
"Can't wait."
There's not an ounce of tension in your muscles as you finish up your bakes for the day, gliding around the kitchen while Bucky stands and watches your every move.
If you could pause time, this would be when you'd do it. You'd be content to live in this moment forever.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The minute Bucky walks through your front door, he inhales deeply. The entire place smells like you, cosy and golden.
"You like it?"
"It's gorgeous, baby. I love the windows."
He makes his way over to your kitchen, where the glass panes run from floor to ceiling. Sitting on the bench pressed against it, he takes in the view, savouring the feeling of the sun on his face.
You sit down on his lap, draping your legs over him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Nuzzling your face into his jaw, you press a kiss to the stubble, resisting the urge to lick the salt off of his skin.
"Come on," you murmur. "Let me show you my bedroom. The sun sets in that direction, so it's always beautiful in there."
You grab his hand and walk him across the apartment, swinging open the door to your room and pushing him inside.
He takes in the space for a moment before turning in your direction, striding over to smash his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers into his shirt and pull him closer, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth with ease.
Bucky leans in to trail kisses down your neck as he slips your shirt over your head, making quick work of unclasping your bra with skilled fingers. He grasps your chest in both hands, massaging gently as he nips at your throat.
"So fucking pretty," he murmurs. "Haven't stopped thinking about you since you left me."
You whine and unbutton his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders. You're desperate to see more, desperate to feel his skin on yours, desperate to bare every inch of him.
Your fingers make deft work of his belt, sliding it from its loops and throwing it to the ground. You unpop his button and slide down the zipper, pulling his jeans off his legs in no time. You shimmy out of your skirt, leaving you both in your underwear.
The evening sun seeps through the window panes, illuminating the room in hues of orange and gold. The light hits Bucky's skin, making him glow in a halo of love and adoration.
He walks you backwards, wrapping an arm around your back to throw you onto the white sheets of your bed. Crawling over you, he settles in between your legs, pressing gentle kisses from your ankles to your inner thighs.
"The way you look when you come has been burned in my mind," he whispers. "Need to see it again. It's been too long."
He slides your underwear down your legs and wastes no time, diving into you like a man starved. He devours you, tongue never ceasing it's movements. His hands pry your thighs apart, one arm thrown over your stomach to keep you still. When your muscles start to shake, Bucky doubles down on his efforts, lapping and sucking at you like you're his lifesource.
"Oh, Buck, I'm-"
You see stars as you come, white and silver shapes flying through your vision. Bucky never stops, prolonging your release for as long as he can. When you go boneless, he ceases, pressing kisses to the inside of your knee.
"You okay?" he murmurs, moving so his body smothers yours.
"I'm good," you smile, leaning up to kiss him. You groan when you taste yourself, wrapping your legs around his waist.
"Need you, baby. Please, Buck."
"You sure?"
You smile at him, cradling his face in your hands.
"Couldn't be surer."
He dips down to lick into your mouth once more, shucking his boxers off and throwing them across the room. Slipping a condom on, he lines himself up, eyes meeting yours.
"I need you more than I need air to breathe," he murmurs. "You know that, don't you?"
"Buck," you breathe. "I've been going crazy here without you."
He goes to speak, but stops himself, instead leaning down to kiss your forehead.
"I know," you whisper. "I know."
Bucky slides home in one smooth thrust, both of you gasping. One of his hands finds your hip, the other resting against your throat as an anchor. You wrap your legs around his waist, arms snaking around his shoulders.
"Fuck me, please."
"Fuck," he groans. "I'll be replaying that in my head forever."
You chuckle breathlessly, gasping when he draws his hips back and forward again. He sets an even pace - not too fast, not too slow. He has you right where he wants you, both of your bodies in perfect synchronisity. It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything's fallen into place.
Bucky dances his fingers from your hip to your clit, rubbing firm circles. He plays you like a violin, your muscles tensing as you get closer.
"That's it, pretty girl. Fuck, you're so good for me. You close, honey? Gonna come for me again?"
You nod frantically as he picks up his pace, hips colliding with yours. He groans as you tighten around him, head dropping to rest against yours.
"Come for me, honey girl," he whispers. "Please."
Your back arches as you find your release, nails scratching at the skin of Bucky's back. The pain tips him over the edge, spilling inside of you with a deep groan. He collapses on top of you, both of your chests heaving.
"I think we're naturals at that," you chuckle hoarsely.
"You think it's the soulmate thing, or are we just that good?"
"I think we're just that good," you laugh, pushing him off your body so he lands next to you. You link your fingers with his, resting your head on his chest.
"I need a drink."
"I was just thinking that, actually. You wanna go out? Know anywhere?"
"There's a cute little bar that looks out over the cove - it has good food and good cocktails. You wanna go there?"
"I'd go anywhere with you," he affirms, pressing a kiss into your hair.
"I'd kill for a pineapple margarita right now."
Bucky sits up suddenly, bringing you with him, arms wrapped around you.
"Then let's go get my girl a pineapple margarita."
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The golden lights adorn the beams of wood above your head, the deck illuminated in the gentle glow. The ocean waves break the shore in a comfortingly repetitive motion, a calming soundtrack to the evening. You sit across from Bucky at your table for two, the sunset casting orange hues across the horizon.
"It's beautiful out here."
"Yeah," you agree, smiling. "The view is pretty good."
Your eyes haven't left his, lost in the sea blue of his irises. He chuckles, running his thumb over the back of your hand where it rests atop the table.
"This is our first date, you know."
"Really?"
"I mean, we've been 'dating' this whole time - but we've never gone out and had dinner like this. Held hands and all."
"You're right. Our first date of many, huh?"
"Our first of countless," he grins, brushing his lips over your knuckles in a gentle kiss.
"Where do my parents think you are?"
"Visiting a cousin in Nevada."
You laugh, and the sound makes Bucky light up, electricity running through his veins.
"You're a scarily good liar."
"To everyone but you."
"I used to think I was a good liar. Until I met you, that is."
Just as he's about to respond, your waitress appears, two pineapple margaritas in hand. She takes your orders and leaves, smiling at you.
"Oh, shit. She forgot to give us straws. I'm gonna grab some - be right back."
You chase her inside, tapping her shoulder gently.
"Excuse me - could I get a couple of straws, please?"
"Of course. Sorry!" she apologises, handing them to you.
"Thank you! Your shirt is so cute, by the way."
"Thanks - it's thrifted! You're gorgeous, girl. And your boyfriend is stupidly hot too. You're a pretty couple."
You thank her and laugh, returning to Bucky with a grin on your face.
"What's got you smiling?"
"The waitress called you my boyfriend."
"Huh. As much as I love the commitment... boyfriend kinda sounds like we're in ninth grade, doesn't it?"
You throw your head back, laughing with your entire being.
"That's what I thought. There's gotta be a better word. Partner? No, that makes us sound forty."
"I am almost forty."
"Oops."
Bucky rolls his eyes, but he can't wipe the blinding grin from his face. He takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture of you, admiring the way the breeze caresses your face as the setting sun beats down.
"Sneaky," you tease. "Let me see?"
He hands you the phone, letting you look through. You swipe right one too many times, and accidentally land on a picture of a blueprint laid out across a kitchen counter. His kitchen counter.
"Babe... what's this?"
You don't miss the way Bucky's cheeks heat up, blush creeping across his chest that's exposed by the V neckline of his blue button up. He stutters for a moment, before finding his footing.
"They're blueprints. Plans for a house."
"A house?"
"I want to build a house."
When you keep looking at him softly, he doubles down.
"I want to build a house for us."
Your breath hitches in your chest, the world going silent momentarily.
"You... you do?"
"My Dad worked in construction my entire childhood. I watched him build houses, apartment buildings, bungalows... everything. I've always wanted to do it, but never had reason to. Until now."
You squeeze his hand, urging him to continue.
"I've been planning it for upwards of ten years. But I'm taking it more seriously, now. Those blueprints are the final ones. It's all mapped out, down to the square inch. I've made some modifications for you, obviously."
He zooms in on the picture, pointing out areas on the plans.
"I've added a big island in the kitchen with a tonne of storage in it, for all of your supplies. I know you have that huge mixer, so I've made sure there's enough space for it to fit underneath with the doors closed."
You take a deep breath, lump in your throat forming unwillingly.
"Up here, there's a window at the top of the stairs. I've added a sketch of a bench which I'll upholster, so you can sit and read in the sunlight."
Tangling your legs with his under the table, you urge him to continue.
"I've also made sure there's a balcony off the master bedroom that overlooks the garden. I know how much you love sitting on yours in your apartment at home. There's probably like a hundred more little modifications for you, but those are just a few."
Tears are running down your cheeks freely, emotion escaping you like a flash flood.
"Bucky..."
"If it's too much too soon, please tell me. I won't be offended, baby. I know it's a lot."
"It's perfect."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
You jump up from your seat and around the table, throwing yourself into his lap to kiss him happily.
"I can't wait to build a house with you, Buck."
He grins at you, joy radiating off him in waves.
"Buck?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
He blinks back tears for a second, processing the words he's been waiting to hear for what feels like an eternity.
"I love you too, honey girl. My pretty baby."
He leans in to kiss you tenderly, the rest of the world melting away. It feels like it's just the two of you, floating on cloud nine.
Suddenly, you get it. You understand why people say this is the greatest thing that'll ever happen.
It is. They were right all along.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
After several pineapple flavoured cocktails and a taco or four, you and Bucky take a slow stroll home, hand in hand along the sidewalk.
"You wanna have a sleepover tonight?" you ask, digging your heels into the ground to stop yourself from skipping with glee.
"Can't think of anything I want more," he chuckles.
You walk a little while longer, content to bask in the comfortable silence.
"Guess what happened a few days ago."
"What, honey?"
"Stella asked me to be her business partner."
He stops where he is, turning to face you but never letting go of your hand.
"Wait, really?"
"Mhmmm."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"I was unsure, at first. But I'm going to do it. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. We had to take a business class in culinary school, and I actually learned a lot. I've had a business plan for the future of the café drafted up for months. Numbers, locations, investors, everything. I'm really serious about this, you know."
He's gazing at you like you hung the moon, eyes bright and adoring.
You sit down on a bench, looking out over the coastal path. Bucky joins you, arm heavy over your shoulders.
"I can't stay here."
His head whips around.
"Baby..."
"I mean it, Buck. I like this city, I do, but I just can't settle. It feels like a placeholder until I can go home. And it's not fair to Stella, if it feels like I'm half in half out."
He goes to speak, but you're on a roll.
"I'm suggesting that we franchise the business. It's the logical next step anyway, it was just a matter of choosing the right location. I'm proposing somewhere a hell of a lot closer to home. To you. To my parents. And that means we'll have one branch on the east coast, and one on the west. We can start filling the middle, in the future."
"Are you... are you sure?"
"I've never been surer of anything, James Buchanan Barnes. I wanna start my life with you. Telling my parents, building a house, furthering my career. I'm ready, now."
Bucky grabs your face in his warm hands, kissing you with more passion than you ever thought possible. It's all the answer you need.
"I want you to read over my plan, when we get back to my place. But it's tight, Buck. I've been perfecting it for months. There's no way Stella can say no - I've made it so she won't want to. Besides, she just wants me to be happy. And this... this will make me happy. Happy beyond words."
Bucky stands up, wrapping his arms around your middle to bring you with him. He spins you around, laughing when you squeal in surprise.
"I'm so proud of you, honey baby. I love you so much."
"I love you," you grin. "More than I ever thought possible."
Bucky practically carries you home, both of you giddy on excitement and hope.
You wake up tangled in his arms, sunlight beaming down onto your skin through the open window. Happiness, you think. It's finally here.
Happiness. It's finally here.
Tumblr media
tag list part one -
@lillytracy6996 @securegorgon @roostersforevergirl @povlvr @val-writesstuff  @dreadfulxives18 @1deadpool26 @abbygraceasd @nyutasgirl @mavrellover91 @winterslove1917 @f-this42 @skewedcherries @noisesinthedark @kandis-mom @black-cat-2 @harrystylesandthegoobs @vladsgirlxx @h0nestly-though @arienotari @nash-dara   @wandaneedstherapy @galaxy-dusk @justherefortheficandsmut @cremebruleequeen   @cjand10 @buggy14 @avengers-fixation @blueberrybambi @beautiful-loserr @sarah1barnes @miss-rebel-without-applause @ragingrainbowshipl @shamrockqueen @savemeroman @jenn-f @8crazy-freak8 @daddyjackfrost @openup-yourmind @adangerousbalance  @mandijo17 @daddylorianisastateofmind @rcarbo1 @casa-boiardi @spideegwen @navs-bhat @mssbridgerton @asuni921 @middle-of-the-earth @mfrnchsk
1K notes · View notes
yandere-kokeshi · 4 months
Note
Hoooooly crap I am BLASTED rn. Can I ask for poly 141 (it can be werewolf if you want) react and be with a reader tgat gets all giggly and snuggly while high. Also i love your work so mich like genuinely i just binge ypur stuff and constantly read things over and over and over again. Youre such a talented writer and honestly we should paying you for us to read your work. I hope you’re doib well, i love ya a toooon
— Yandere TF-141 with a gn darling who gets giggly and snuggly whilst high
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Warnings: yandere behavior, being high, and being taken advantage of.
A/N: there’s no need to pay me, i’m happy to share my writing with you + everyone who likes my writing; thank you for the sweet compliments. This isn’t werewolf AU, but enjoy <3!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
To start off, they don’t mind pot. They know the real story, and how the government hides it. This said, they don’t necessarily have an opinion on it — it’s weed, nothing wrong or right about it.  
However, they also don’t condone it, as they like you awake. But if you do it, you do it and hey, they get to see a side of you that nobody else does, and you quickly become a doofus.  
To say they love your giggly and cuddly side is an understatement. All of them chuckle when they come home, seeing you laid down on the couch with reddened eyes. They love to plop you on their lap, laugh at your weird and not-in-the-moment-thinking conversations and ask you dumb shit, just to see your reactions. 
Soap can be a little shit, especially when you do a joint. He likes to ask deep-conversational questions, loving how your nose crinkles when thinking of it. And when you stutter, he loves to lean in and say: “Hm? Didn’t catch ‘at, sweetheart.”
To be honest, they all love to take advantage of you. Seeing you all calm and welcoming makes their dark heart darker than ever. 
Simon likes to ask you questions with promises, such as marriage, or even kids. Watching your reaction, and smiling with soft touches. And when the next day comes, asking if you remember them, and if you don’t? He’s hurt. Those promises were real, weren’t they? 
Honestly, Kyle and Price are worriers. Even though they know the side effects are normal, they worry like hens; constantly checking your head with the back of their hand or making you drink water to stay hydrated, as if you’re sick. 
As for Johnny, he’s in the middle — but still a little shit. He laughs when you laugh, even at the horrible jokes, and tries to make you stay in the ‘high state’ because it’s cute.
Masterlist || Reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!! Stay well!!
© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
387 notes · View notes
mercurygguk · 6 months
Text
head over skates · jjk ; part iv.
Tumblr media
··· SUMMARY; jeon jungkook is the captain of the hockey team and one of the biggest fuckboys on campus. you happen to have known him for as long as you can remember but he is not who he used to be and you simply can’t stand it.
so what happens when you’re suddenly stuck doing a project with him for three weeks?
SERIES MASTERLIST · # TAG · MOOD BOARDS · PLAYLIST
Tumblr media
PAIRING; hockey player!jungkook x f. reader
GENRE; fwb au, childhood friends to enemies to lovers au, college au
WORDCOUNT; 1,098
RATING; 18+
WARNINGS; swearing, mentions of sex, jk being nice and getting shit for it lol
a/n; part 4 and ohmygodddd the angst is coming y'all !! i hope you enjoy reading this one – lmk what you think and tysm for reading <3
Tumblr media
It’s a nice day today.
The sun is shining, it’s getting warmer due to spring, there’s not a single hint of a breeze in the air, and everyone seems to be in a great mood. It’s amazing what the changing seasons do to people and their mood – yourself included.
You’re working on the project for your photography class while sitting on your jacket on the grass quad on campus. You’ve almost finished the introduction and made sure to note down the plans for the project as well as set up the whole layout. The need to be organized has taken over but you always see it as a good thing; it keeps you focused and it makes school work seem less overwhelming.
It’s peaceful here on the quad, the faint sound of other students talking and laughing fills the atmosphere around you. There’s even a guy playing the guitar not too far away from you.
It’s nice, you think to yourself as a small smile spreads across your lips.
Until it isn’t anymore.
The evil spawn, also known as Jeon Jungkook, suddenly appears in front of you and blocks the sun as he grins at you, looking cheerful and happy for some reason you don’t care to know about.
Your smile has now turned into a scowl as you stare at him, ignoring the fact that he’s once again holding two americanos in his hands, “is this gonna be a thing now?”
Jungkook nods instantly, not noticing or simply just ignoring the glare you shoot at him.
“Yeah, it’s a tradition now, ____ – I bring iced Americano and you bring your moody attitude and then we work on the project together,” he says, his grin now a smirk that you suddenly feel the urge to slap off his face.
God, why is he so persistent on doing this project with you? Why can’t he just leave you to do it on your own? Why can’t he go do what he usually does – being a fuckboy and play hockey – instead of bothering you with his presence?
You can’t help but scoff and roll your eyes at his words, choosing to ignore the comment he so casually dropped about you being ‘moody’.
“I can get my own iced americano, thank you very much,” you pointedly say.
“Oh, really? Where is it?” He asks, looking around on the grass surrounding you, “did you chug it?”
His quick retort circuits your brain as you’re left gaping at him. You then shake your head as if to clear your head and ask another question.
You’re not quite sure why you haven’t told him to leave yet…
“So what? Are you stalking me now?”
Jungkook snorts as you quirk an eyebrow at him in question, shooting you a look of amusement as he glances around at all the people surrounding you and him.
“____, you’re literally on the campus quad. Anyone with eyes in their head could find you here.”
You blink at him for a second, causing Jungkook to flash you a knowing smirk and offer you one of the beverages he so kindly brought along once again. You decide to ignore his smart retort and take the iced americano he’s holding out, instantly taking a sip and withholding the moan of satisfaction that was threatening to escape just now.
Jungkook huffs out a chuckle to himself as he sits down next to you and slips off his backpack, pulling out his laptop. You stare at him in bewilderment as if he has three heads when he sits down, wondering how he’s taking your hostility as an invite to sit down with you.
“Jungkook, what are you doing here?” You can’t help but ask, confused as to why he’s sitting here next to you for the second time within just two days.
“To work on the project?”
There’s a look of confusion on his face as he looks at you, eyebrows pulled together in question.
“No, seriously – I told you, I’m doing this project by myself. What are you really doing here?”
Jungkook’s face twists in slight annoyance at your determination to work on the project by yourself, “you’re not the only one who cares about their grades, you know?”
He doesn’t care about his grades – there’s just no way that a stereotypical jock like him could care about anything but frat parties, getting laid and his sport. Old Jungkook might’ve cared but this Jungkook right here? He hasn’t given a single fuck about anything but hockey and his image since he became the popular and hot hockey player.
“Are you saying that me doing the project on my own will give us a bad grade? If anything, you working with me on the project will make it even worse!”
The tone of your voice has turned defensive as you cross your arms over your chest and stare at him. Jungkook scoffs, a hint of amusement within the sound. If he’s offended by your words, he doesn’t show it. Why would he be? He doesn’t care what anyone thinks.
“Excuse me, I have a 94 in this class right now!”
You fall silent.
A score of 94%.
You can’t help but let out a laugh, wondering how he managed to score a 94 in photography when all he ever does with his spare time is hooking up with girls around campus or spending it in the hockey arena with his teammates. 
“And how did you manage to do that? Did you flirt with Mrs. Kim or something?” You huff out a mocking chuckle.
Just for a split second, you swear you see a flicker of hurt flash across his eyes before it’s replaced by his usual smirk.
“And if I did?” He taunts.
Your eyes roll before you have a chance to stop them from doing so, causing Jungkook’s smirk to turn into an almost devilish grin.
“Wow, ____, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous.”
His words have you scowling at him – something you seem to do a lot when he’s anywhere near you. You then grab the iced coffee and take another sip, turning your attention back to your laptop screen, leaving Jungkook to sit next to you and work on the project in silence. You don’t say another word to him as you share the document with him so he can partake in the process.
His words affected you more than you wish they did because it was once the truth but if there’s anything you’ll never be again, it’s being jealous of something Jeon Jungkook does.
770 notes · View notes
underfart-snas · 8 months
Text
i’m going to preface this by saying this will be hard to read. for those who have had to deal with a lot of familial trauma, csa, and various other things really. you’re being warned now.
it is not anything fun, light, or happy.  i will not answer questions from anyone. i will not stop people from their comments or tags but i will not look at opinions or attempt to change them. good or bad, i’m too tired to change anyone’s minds or matters on the subject. while i am regretful and sorry for many things, i know this won’t change much.
i’m not looking for forgiveness. i'm looking for closure.
i will not argue on how i’m a good person, or how any behavior in the past was justifiable or right. it was wrong. i still fuck up to this day trying to be human. at this point, all i want is to speak up about what i had to go through and why things ended the way they did with hopefully a more clear sense of perspective as to why i made what i did. and then i would like to move on.
flowerfell ended in disaster from all sides. a story i, the friends i made along with it and worked deeply with during it all, held very dear for our own reasons. be it to express the hardship of survival, to cope with the progression of loss, or having hope in finding small things to live for and learning to find love in friendships, family or otherwise that we couldn’t have in life. it was a big story for everyone, and i understand not everyone got the message. people have not been kind. i’ve seen equal sides of good and bad come from it.
i won’t argue about the shipping aspects. people are right in believing i liked what i liked, and whether or not they hated that was up to them. i had my personal reasons and i never intended for it to be a malicious thing, but i understand people’s headstrong thoughts on the canons or otherwise. I didn't like to go out of my way to shove it in people's faces, which is why i scrapped later stories that were pressured to be frans related and instead made them into personal characters.
it’s fucked up seeing people get chased and hurt over fictional things. things that aren’t physically harming anyone, at least when they’re contained properly. things you shouldn’t be actively looking for if you don’t like it. things that people may actually be doing to cope with their own trauma. i watch so many people looking for hate, or reasons to be angry. i think that adds to much sadness overall. i can’t say much for those who don’t go about tagging things properly for those who don’t want to see things other than "please work on that."
when i played undertale, i lived vicariously through frisk as i played. they were quite frankly, a blank slate. i was able to self-insert in a way. due to story aspects, i felt the monsters were like... old old. like ancient beings that lived lives unfathomably long beyond the human lifespan. beyond the passage of time.
i fell in love with characters and aspects and ideas it gave. i fell in love with it’s world, the possibility of other worlds like it, and exciting wacky hijinks. i took interest in others making au's and thought about how i could make my own. what my own life lacked or couldn’t give me. the family and friends i found through it. 
toby really kicked everyone’s ass with this one, and i hope he does it again and again. and i pray he continues to succeed. because he made something beautiful.
now for what i had to deal with, during the failed attempt of making my story…
i have had to process a lot of neglect from family and home in recent years. though i’m older now, it still hurts. things still linger and sting harder than they should. they say it gets better but it really sticks and comes back in many ways that make life so much harder than it should be. it’s only made harder when people want you to be better, but it takes time to get there. sometimes people can't be with each other because of it, which is something i've had to learn over and over again. it takes so much time and it takes it away from everything you hope can be good and great in your life.
growing up was a nightmare. i’ve had to grow up with abandonment from my mom. neglect from my dad. i've had to deal with them trying to reach back out and my feelings on whether or not it's deserved. or if i'm even ready to handle it yet. many times i'm not.
i’ve had to deal with surgery to fix my body from disgusting and life ending deformation as a toddler which still leaves scars on my body today. my family has told me i’m lucky to even be alive. sometimes i almost wish it took me, because the world is cruel. but at the same time, i want to live so, so badly.
i’ve had to deal with manipulation and rape from someone almost ten years older than me in household when i was just a child. from five to nine. threats of being compliant and not to speak up or else my life was in danger. being physically trapped for hours while my body was a tool. later this fell onto another child of a caretaker for my sister, which is the only reason i got away from it. so i never got the chance to speak up myself and that effects me to this day. i was told years later this same thing happened to my older, severely autistic sister prior. someone who literally cannot verbally communicate or function without help from another. my grandmother telling me she left before because my father didn’t believe her. this all meaning, this is something that could have never happened.
i've had to handle my grandmother’s physical and verbal abuse for the rest of the those years after she came back to take care of my sister. my sister didn't escape abuse either. i would be stuck listening to her convince me as i got older and barely making it out of school that wouldn’t ever survive on my own. that i would never make it. that i would never find love. that i’d be eating fucking “saltines and ketchup” on the streets. i’ve had to deal with eating disorder because of her and various other disgusting shit i don’t want to add that the fear had made me succumb to. i didn’t leave my room for days at a time unless i was forced to. i didn’t sleep properly, to the point of passing out for minutes at a time. anyone who used to come to streams would know, i used to fall asleep while drawing with my brother. in many ways, my grandmother has made me so functionally stagnant, which is so hard to combat now.
cutting out all the general silliness and nonsense i would make just to smile once in a while, my art and flowerfell was an escape for me. it was a way to express my pain and hope that there was some sort of out. that there were friends to be made and love to be had. family to be found. that if you’re strong enough maybe you can be redeemable and make it to the end. frisk was hope. sans was strength. and all of the friends they were supposed to make along the way were support.
but at the same time, i clearly wasn’t able to handle the scale of what it became. i wasn’t ready for the crowd, i wasn’t ready to make a coherent and straight story, and was too giving and lenient. i wasn't ready for the "godlihood" people were pressing on me when i was just a normal person. it made making real friends a hassle. i didn't know who was honest or using me. many people have used me.
i was scared after it fell apart and got toxic. that people can take and twist and hate no matter how hard you try. i didn’t understand a lot of things back then or how to defend myself. i didn't understand how to combat theft, i didn't understand fiction kin, i didn't understand self care or boundaries for others and myself. i didn't understand a lot of things. i try really hard to understand now.
for all intents and purposes, it was getting septic. i was getting septic at that time and for some time after. and because of that i lost not only my story, but my friends and my sanity. i wasn’t able to keep it together for them or myself. i was hurt and hurting others by proxy. and i am so sorry for it. all of it.
i was only saved by finally being taken away from home by someone who actually took a chance on me. someone who made time for me even when i was getting reclusive. someone who loves me through all of that even if i hurt them terribly in the process, and may even still in all the faults i'm working on. despite everything, they're still with me today.
to this day i find flowerfell hard to look at without feeling various stages of grief. i have many degrees of anger and sadness, at times hopeless acceptance. not necessarily towards anyone anymore, but that i was unable to finish it. or felt i was unable to. that i'm unable to surpass it. that i was so fearful of loss and parts of myself being taken away when i already felt i had so little. how it blinded me to what good i had at so many times. how it’s destroyed my ability to create and fall in love with characters i like or make, and their worlds. no matter how hard i try now. that it’s taken my ability to trust, communicate, and form steady relationships with people. how it effects even those who have stayed and try so hard. that it’s taken my ability to share and feel safe doing so. even with people i'm close with today.
even situations on how helpful it’s been for people over the years, and deeper connections to self or others they’ve found in the progression of time because of it. i’m not unhappy for those who have, i’m grateful that people have found their hearts in it. it was made with unfathomable love and there’s incredible pain on having given up continuing what could have been more. what else people could have connected with or felt. there was so much i didn’t get to share, and got too angry and scared to give.
i grew to believe people didn’t deserve it anymore because of what i and my friends at the time were going through. i no longer wanted to feel hurt. i no longer wanted my friends to be hurt. and i violently took it away into myself, which has hurt me even more over the years.
i want to believe people would have liked the ending, and anything that would come after that. it was going to have a good ending.
later i would find the fear of parts being taken would be connected to discovering plurality in myself, and recently finding out in therapy i’m probably not too separated from my sister in being on the spectrum, adding to all of that and more. i’d have to process that feelings became separated and another struggle to deal with. that i was dissociating from everything so hard these feelings are expressed as their own apart from me, but still with me. that this was my way of not being alone with what i had. it is not a kind thing. while they're like family to me, it is also a cage.
it would take me years to actually discover what this was properly, having to go through a whole ordeal of manipulation and problems from that alone. i would have to deal with them also being stolen and taken advantage of due to complacency and misunderstanding. which has made every bit of fear with what came before twice as difficult. however, i've also had good people along the way, and i hope they stay with me for a very long time.
because of this i’ve learned a lot about systems and kinships and reasons why these exist. how these things can make people feel at home. i have changed a lot of views on it and how these things help people, even if they’re strange at times… i’m not mad about it anymore. if it helps people it helps people. other people are trying to survive too. i just ask people be respectful about it.
i don’t hate fanart or others trying to make stories anymore. as someone who struggles now with even a fraction of creating any amount of work i used to, i’m more glad than not that it’s encouraging people to improve and move forward. but i won’t ever accept discredit because at the root it is mine still. i made this for myself before i made it for others. it will always be a part of me, even if painful now.
i’m just tired. i’m tired and i hope over time i’ll be able to rest.
sigh.
to kaze, your document is faithful and i won’t argue that any of it is wrong or malicious. there was a lot missing from that video that could and should have been added. it wasn't just about shipping, but a lot more. i hope people will leave you and others alone about flowerfell and ship nonsense at the end of the day. especially when your stories were wonderful and aren’t hurting anyone. while we’re not on good terms, i do wish them a very "fuck off and move on."
however, i will not accept the statement that you were helpful to my mental health, or to others involved to begin with. trying to be, maybe, but it faltered.
apart from encouraging anger towards the fanbase either on my or by your own hands, flipping the switch between telling me to keep going and giving up. you fully took advantage of the complacency i had to go through at home to survive and had to unlearn for many years prior. you weaponized your problems at home onto us. this compiled everything, probably for both of us. this would only continue on to my system in many ways.
you actively encouraged suicidal behavior within the group, provoking my brother into a pact at his lowest. you took advantage of me and my brother mentally and sexually. knowing full well of our issues and my own csa, you still crossed lines. doing or sharing things without warning or prior consent and conversation, at times even within public groups. fighting back or saying something about these things were difficult because everyone was sensitive at the time. even if things were jokes at times, it didn't always come across that way.
i watched blind fight so hard for you in many ways even when they were struggling so badly with their own physical health, even staying in the end. i don't know if they're doing well or are still there now which is another string of worries.
what hurt the most is that for years you blamed me for an attempt because i “didn’t love you enough to talk to you or be honest” and held it over my head instead of explaining until the very last second before i left that it was because of home. you continued to comment in ways up until that point, then deleting things as if i couldn’t see logs. every single day i thought you were going to just be gone in an instant without warning. that i and others would lose one of our best friends. i grew so afraid of talking to you because of this. i was scared to hurt people more in anger of that. it is still something that terrifies me to this day.
flowerfell wasn’t the break of our friendship, it was the inability to handle the weight of taking care of someone who was unwilling to work on themself on top of all of that, while being unable to take care of myself at the same time. not being enough. that nothing of what little i could give would ever fix what was happening, and that i was being used as an escape method. much like my brother was. we weren’t good for each other anymore. and while i wanted to keep holding on, many people told me i had to let go and they were right. i'm sorry that it wasn't completely by my own voice that i let go.
i don’t even hate you anymore, if i even ever really did to begin with. the most i get is mad and i may say the word "hate" in anger, and that is entirely my own fault for checking in once in a while to see if you’re still breathing or getting better. because i cared a long fucking time and i think parts of me still do. i can’t say there weren’t fond memories or good times and i still have gifts i won’t throw away. and i won’t discredit that i do see you trying really hard for yourself now, which is a hopeful feeling and all i and others ever wanted. even if we may never speak directly again, because i don’t think that would be good for either of us, i hope it keeps going well.
but i don’t think you have the right to say i’m a bad person as if you weren’t just as bad yourself. you effected me and others just as badly.
we don't have to forgive each other. but i do hope, after a long time, we can forgive ourselves.
-
just a last little edit:
before you start congratulating someone who added to the entire severity of literally everything, understand this:
we were not driven by her or her alone. this is not her fucking win. this is the result of friends and good people saying we should speak up and needed to be heard for years. this is because we have support we actually feel safe with and finally decided we're fucking tired. we didn’t speak simply because she put out some silly little document. she only added to the fucking misery that everyone else has brought on about this! 
this is for ourselves!! thanks! and goodbye! - =D
191 notes · View notes
allwaswell16 · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
A fic rec of One Direction songfics where a character hears a song written by another character as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave the writers kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
— Louis/Harry —
🎼 You Drive Me Round The Bend by TheCellarDoor / @donotdialnine
(M, 77k, hate to love) In which Louis is a spoilt rich kid who’s always on the phone while he drives and Harry is a struggling musician making his way down the mountain. It’s just a matter of time before they crash and burn.
🎼 These Sparks We Light by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird
(M, 62k, Johnnyswim au) When Louis' eyes catch on a beautiful man across a crowded room at The Script concert, he becomes instantly infatuated and announces he wants to marry a guy like that.
🎼 Far Away. by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes
(M, 56k, exes) Harry returns to London after five years. Stuck in the past with "what ifs" and "what might have beens", he sees that his friends and ex (and possible love of his life) Louis have all moved on with their lives while he finds himself questioning his own life choices, past and present.
🎼 Home To You by Crowsonthewire / @crows-onthewire
(E, 54k, childhood friends) At fifteen, Harry wrote his first song for an oblivious seventeen year old Louis Tomlinson. Ten years later he’s a singer/songwriter who cant find any words for his second album and Louis is a closeted actor tired of LA.
🎼 It Happened like a Firefly's Light by LHStylinson / @lhstylinson9193
(G, 47k, famous/not famous) Harry Styles. It was a name everyone knew, a person the public loved. But he had one impossible task. Write and record his third album in a month. This is where Louis Tomlinson comes in.
🎼 Looking Through You by @allwaswell16
(E, 41k, friends to lovers) As Harry tries to make sense of his feelings for Louis, he begins writing his next album to express them as it may be the only way to break through the walls that Louis has built between them.
🎼 all that remains by whimperinglou / @acciohl
(E, 40k, canon) Harry has always written too many songs about him.
🎼 Without you it's a season I ain't needing by @perfectdagger
(M, 38k, break up) A long distance relationship au in which Harry is away for a year and Louis is left to pick up the pieces.
🎼 Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by @allwaswell16
(E, 30k, kidfic) It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. 
🎼 Ever since New York by selfwrittenstars
(E, 30k, canon) The one where Harry writes a song about Louis and he finds out.
🎼 Fall At My Door by @kingsofeverything
(E, 29k, famous/famous) A-list actor Harry Styles and award-winning musician Louis Tomlinson have an acquaintances-with-benefits relationship, so whenever their busy professional lives happen to land them in the same city, they meet up. 
🎼 Better Walk That (Pap) Walk, Baby by @fallinglikethis , @lululawrence
(NR, 25k, exes) the one where, after years filled with the anger and pain that accompany a bad breakup, Harry and Louis have to try to put it all behind them, at least for the cameras.
🎼 Baby, You Were the Love of My Life by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation
(NR, 24k, canon) Harry needs a place to record one more song for the album, and London has him too in his head. He asks Liam if he can use his country house and set up a studio in his front room, and Liam agrees.
🎼 With These Arms Folded by @taggiecb
(NR, 21k, famous Louis) Harry Styles is living a peaceful existence in California as a very successful song writer. He has his lake house, and his cat, and his small town existence.
🎼 My English Love Affair by @isthatyoularry
(E, 19k, famous/not famous) The one where Harry writes a song about his English love affair and Louis sleeps with someone in White Eskimo and all he gets is a stupid song written about him.
🎼 Naked & Proud by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou
(E, 18k, famous/not famous) In which Harry runs an organic store, not a nudist colony, and Louis doesn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
🎼 Don't You Remember? by @reminiscingintherain
(M, 12k, breakup) Harry slammed the door behind him and immediately pressed his face into his hands, before dropping them back to his sides and staring blankly at the wall. Louis had gone.
🎼 To Make Your Heart Remember Me by @casuallyhl
(NR, 5k, canon) Harry and Louis play the songs they wrote for one another.
🎼 spill your emotions into my hands by theweightofmywords / @lil0
(NR, 2k, exes) Harry thinks about the words he’s splayed on pages, how all of the hurt in Louis’ eyes have been spelled out and set to music.
— Rare Pairs —
🎼 Could We Live With Just A Taste? by @lululawrence
(NR, 17k, Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw) the one where Louis, Harry, and Nick all take awhile to figure things out, but they get there eventually
🎼 When You Know by lazy_daze
(T, 1k, Louis/Liam) Accidental songwriting boyfriends with accidental songwriting confessions 
95 notes · View notes
sandbees · 1 year
Note
I don't know if you open, but I love. No. I adore your house of mouse au, I've seen most of it but I wonder, what if the ob gang see Yuu and the great seven chatting then Yuu saw them, pull them and say 'this is the guy I told you back then', now I probably already read one of ask that contain this, but I wanna see only overblot's first reaction that probably quite fascinating
:0 alright!
It's already been a few months since Yuu has introduced their friends to the House of Mouse. Honestly, they were fine with that, until there was a planned Dorm Leader meeting. Sadly, their usual spot was taken by the teachers for another meeting, but hey, the House of Mouse is always there! So Yuu invites them for a meeting.
Thankfully, Mickey was glad to give Yuu time off ("I wouldn't want you to be focused on work all the time! It's important to keep your social life back at home healthy. Enjoy the show! :)")
So, they wait for the other Dorm Leaders before they take them to their mirror upstairs.
Kalim: Oh! Are we having a sleepover!?
Yuu: No, we're going to my workplace. They're giving me time off so we can have a meeting and enjoy their performances!
Riddle: Well, as long as it doesn't distract us from the meeting...Why are we even in your room to begin with? Yuu: 'Cause we can't get in without using my mirror, duh. *Pushes Idia into the mirror*
Idia: WHY ME-
They go through the mirror, and the others are pretty impressed with Yuu's personal dressing room.
Yuu: Yeah, my boss is the best :). Oh, btw, don't be surprised to see the Great Seven.
Azul: Hahaha, WHAT?
As they walk out, Minnie personally greets them and leads them to a table. Goofy comes by a minute later and takes all of their orders. As they wait for their orders to come, Yuu gauges everyone's reactions.
Azul is, unsurprisingly, writing things down, muttering about "new ideas for Mostro Lounge. Kalim is looking around the whole dining room, his eyes sparkling. Riddle and Vil are talking quietly, commenting on the decor. Idia was grossed in his video game he brought, glancing at anyone who passed by the table. Leona was messing with the center piece, looking absolutely bored. And Malleus just looked happy to be there.
The meeting went well, actually. With a lively atmosphere, the Dorm Leaders were able to have some productive conversations. Yuu was especially happy to be included in future events run by the Dorms. There were a few interruptions, though.
Of course, it was pure coincidence that the Great Seven were also having a get together. But the oddest thing was that THEY WERE AT THE TABLE NEXT TO THEM??? If that isn't planned idk what is. Yuu introduced the gang to one another.
Riddle is all red in the face, probably very embarrassed to meet the Queen of Hearts. He certainly didn't expect to meet her in person! Though she's pretty impressed by him. He knows all 810 rules by heart. What a good Dorm Leader, remembering all the ruels and making sure the rest remember them!
Leona and Scar didn't talk to each other at first, but when the topic of siblings came around, YOU BET THAT THEY WERE TALKING SHIT. Honestly the funniest thing for them to realize this and begin gossiping about the dumbest things people have done in front of them. It's very sweet to watch them vent out their frustrations to each other.
Ursula talking with Azul and giving him tips on how to blackmail convice people to sign his contracts. Maybe even answer his questions about herself or giving him ideas for his business. A magic item made by the Sea Witch herself? For a price, of course~
Honestly, I can only see Jafar tolerate Kalim at best. He sees Kalim as a foolish kid. Though maybe Jafar slightly warms up to him??? Yuu is probably the one to mediate between the two, honestly.
VIL AND QUEEN GOSSIPING ABOUT BEAUTY TIPS. VIL WOULD TOTALLY TELL HER ABOUT MODERN BEAUTY TIPS. They would be the mean girls of the group tbh. I think Queen would also give tips on being a better leader, because despite her vanity, she was probably a good ruler if the kingdom didn't go to hell in the movie.
Idia would 100% be dying inside at Hades' extrovertness. Hades would be very excited to learn more about his dorm honestly. (Wait no Hades would joke about them being related, and Idia would sink into his seat further). The conversation was awkward until Hades asked about the video game Idia brought. Idia would not SHUT UP ABOUT IT-
Malleus and Maleficent would have a lovely chat over teas and biscuts that they ordered. Maleficent would 100% give Malleus any and all advice she had gained over the years. (Maybe advise Malleus to snag Yuu before anyone else got them). They would totally have conversations about the use of gargoyles and how spot a wild one.
It's getting late at night, and the meeting was over, but Yuu convinced everyone to stay. The show began, and it was one of the best Yuu's seen in awhile (to be fair, most of the shows were sabotaged by Pete, which they helped stop).
The night ended with a bang, and all the Dorm Leaders agreed to hold another meeting at the House of Mouse some time in the future.
281 notes · View notes
sweetcarrotsandroses97 · 10 months
Text
Impact Of The Heart | PJM
Tumblr media
Pairing: non! idol Jimin x Fem! Reader
Summary: You and Jimin had been flatmates for a long time now. Your relationship consisted in soft quarrels and flirty comments, longing gazes and aching hearts. When you leave the flat after an argument, Jimin must find you in time and tell you how he feels before he fears its too late for words to change fate.
Word Count: 3.5k
Warnings: angst, non! idol au, flatmates! au, thoughts of unrequited love, happy ending, reader is described to be shorter than Jimin (he deserves to be tall at least in fiction xD), kissing, mild language (just a couple of words), feelings of fear, anxiety and heartbreak, fluffy ending.
*banner made by me :D
A/N Hello everyone! I've been working on this for a couple of days now, I hope you will like this, a bit long, drabble. I'm still working on the next part of "Four Seasons" but I recently entered college and I'm a bit busy atm. I'll try to update as soon as I can. Take care and thanks for reading! 💜
It was raining outside. Heavily so. Making Jimin worry every second for you to text or call him back. You hadn't even read his last texts for heaven's sake! And that made him anxious.
You never left a text unanswered.
Never.
Why was he feeling anxious?
He sighed at his own thoughts. His heart already knowing the answer to that question that he nearly rolled his eyes when he wondered it once more.
You and him had been roommates for nearly five years since the both of you finished college and, conveniently enough, the both of you needed a place to stay with a low rent.
Jimin decided that you both could split the rent while living there together in a seemingly civilised way. And, to his surprise, you agreed. To say that you and Jimin got along since day one was fast-forwarding on so many events that happened between you both until you two settled in a friendship with longing gazes and stolen touches.
He couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt when you announced earlier that day that a coworker of yours had asked you out to dine with him. You looked so happy about it that he had to force a smile on his plump lips so as to not disappoint you.
But as the storm outside got heavier, he had sent you a quick text asking if you were alright, if he needed to pick you up. To which you answered that you were, in fact, quite fine. He sent yet another text, asking for the address of the place you were having dinner at just in case but you didn't answer his message.
And that had happened nearly an hour ago.
He tried calling you but your phone was switched off and he cursed under his breath. The only thing he could now do was to trust you, hoping that you would be back home soon. However, Jimin had already made up his mind that if you didn't show up by eleven o'clock he was going to leave the flat and search for you.
Even when he had no idea of where you could be. When he didn't have a place to start searching. He would at least look for you.
In the last year, whatever rough edges your roommate relationship had once had evened out. Jimin became a good and close friend to you rather than just your flatmate. And to him, well that was another case.
Jimin also viewed you as a close friend. But he couldn't help how his fingers would tingle every time you would pass him the bowl of popcorn on your lazy movie nights or when you would casually hand him over his phone when he had left in a place he couldn't find it.
He couldn't help but feel the butterflies in his stomach swirl wildly when you laughed out loud when he would fall out of a chair. A fond smile would appear on his face when he discovered you had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for his long shift to end and he had to carry you back to bed.
But with those feelings, a more bitter sensation also appeared in his heart. Like in those times when you'd smile when a coworker texted you wishing you a good night. Or when you were invited to a fancy dinner and you got all dolled up only for you to have other eyes on you.
It felt ridiculous. At least to him. For being jealous of you when you weren't his and he wasn't yours. He didn't have the right to. He didn't have to worry. He didn't have to feel threatened.
Yet he did.
Every. Single. Time.
And now, it was not different. He felt a wrong sensation crawling up his chest that made him think the worst possible scenarios about your date.
But only when he had decided he had waited long enough and was about to grab his car keys, the electronic lock of the front door chimed and the next thing he knew was that you were standing in the entrance way, trying to get your shoes off while you were trying to put the large black umbrella in its place.
"Where have you been? You weren't answering any of my texts."
The worry was evident in his voice. And you would have noticed it if you weren't fighting for your life at the entrance door trying to get your shoes off.
"Well... my phone died."
You said and Jimin was quick to catch the annoyance in your normally sweet voice. The next thing he knew was that you were walking across your shared flat, a grim look on your face and a harshness to your steps he had only witnessed when you were upset or stressed about something.
"Did something happen?"
He asked. In a cautious way. Jimin knew you could get more irritated when he asked you something and you were in one of your moods.
You sighed. Taking a bottle of soju from the fridge. You didn't even get yourself one of the small glasses before you were already taking a swig from the beverage.
His eyes grew wide when he saw you do that. Immediately knowing something was bad. Really bad.
"It's just... aish. Men are assholes."
Jimin couldn't help but chuckle at your muttered words. You drank once more from the bottle so he decided to stop you before you got too drunk to manage.
"Yes, I know."
His hands brushed yours before the bottle of soju left your grasp and the sound of glass hitting the marble counter filled your ears.
"But you care to explain why you are insulting us?"
Your eyes met his. And suddenly, the entire dinner you had had with your coworker flashed in front of your eyes.
"It's just that... I went out with Junseo and... well the date was crappy as hell."
Jimin's hand got a hold of yours as he guided you out of the kitchen and back to the living room.
"I don't want to say "I told you so" but, I told you so."
You rolled your eyes at your friend. He really wasn't helping you at the moment.
"Jimin, what advice can you give me? The both of us have been single since middle school! I know that going out with Junseo was a mistake, I've now proven that theory, but at least I'm trying to find someone. Shouldn't you do the same and stop lecturing me about my, clearly non.existent, love life?"
Now you were frustrated. You didn't exactly know why though. You just were. Maybe it was because Jimin was on his pedestal of know-it-all. Or because of the awful date you just came back from. It could be that Jimin was still holding your hand and the butterflies in your stomach were flying wildly or perhaps the fact that one of your closest friends was so oblivious to your feelings for him.
Or a combination of everything.
He suddenly let go of your hand, a coldness seeping through your bones the moment he stopped touching you. He ran his hands through his hair, messing with the brown locks even more.
"I don't know why you are so rude to me, (y/n). I'm trying to help. There are better guys out there than Junseo, I just wanted you to see that for yourself but you can be so stubborn that not even the idea of 2+2 can get in your head sometimes."
And now Jimin was frustrated. At your lack of comprehension for his feelings. At your harsh words to him. At the attitude you showed. But then again, he had not been better himself right now. When he opened his mouth to apologise you cut him off with a scoff.
Now he had fucked up.
The hurt that flashed in your eyes tore at his heart. But you didn't hold yourself back. You were tired. Tired of this pointless life. Of not being enough. Of feeling invisible. Of Jimin not loving you back.
"Shut up, Park. You don't know what you are talking about. The man I love doesn't even see me as a potential girlfriend! So shut up about my life, you know nothing. Nothing at all. Stop butting yourself in my business."
You didn't leave room for argument. You hadn't raised your voice but it was cold. Calculated even. And the cold daggers pierced Jimin's soft and thudding heart.
You turned around, not grabbing neither your phone nor your coat. You barely had time to put your shoes back on before you left the flat with the front door slamming shut.
Jimin let out a deep sigh. He had screwed this up. And it wasn't the first time you both got into arguments. It was normal for flatmates to argue. But those small fights revolved around what kind of butter to buy or who's turn it was to do the dishes. Not about something like the one he just had with you.
His mind kept rising with millions of responses he could have given you. The main one being him admitting his feelings for you. But he couldn't allow those words to escape his mouth in the middle of an argument.
If so, if Jimin ever planned on letting you know about his love for you, he would like to plan it, take you out on a cute date or in one of your casual dinners at the flat.
He didn't want to shoot the words in the middle of anger and hate.
That is, if he ever manned up enough to say those three words.
He sat down on the couch, the raising thoughts giving him a headache as he ran his hands over his face. But the trance his mind had fallen in was broken when a loud thunder sounded at the distance.
Looking through the window, he was met with the strong rain dancing over the glass, the city lights blurred in the distance and the night sky swallowed the streets.
He stood up. You had left the flat. You had walked out in the middle of your anger. In the middle of an argument when the fumes were still very present and Jimin knew you hadn't even bothered to take your coat with you.
That thought was confirmed when he looked at the coat hanger and yours rested there, almost as if mocking him. Without a second thought, Jimin sprinted over to the front door, noticing your phone in the small table where his car keys rested as well.
Putting his shoes on, he grabbed a large black umbrella and was out the door in the next second. You had gone out by foot so he thought it'd be easier for him to find you if he walked around the building. Somehow in his desperate mind, that thought made sense when any other person would have thought of it to be completely insane.
The rough sound of the rain hitting the pavement filled his ears the moment he left the building. The umbrella managed to somehow shield him from the rain, at least most of it, while he began walking around. Trying to remember the usual places that you enjoyed and that were nearby.
Tumblr media
You were walking slowly in the middle of the rain. Your clothes were completely drenched the second you stepped out of the building of your shared flat but to be honest, you didn't find it in your mind to care.
Your heart was aching.
Your mind was raising with so many thoughts it made you nauseous. The fight you had with Jimin meant more than you initially thought. That was why you left. Because in your confused mind and heartbroken heart you realised he didn't love you.
At least not like you loved him.
And it hurts.
It hurt that he tried to protect you without feeling so strongly for you.
It hurt that he'd smile every morning without a deeper meaning to it.
It hurt that he would hold your hand without wanting to claim you.
It hurt to be so close to him yet so far at the same time. Because he didn't want you in that way. You weren't important in the way you wanted to be for him. You felt rejected. Out of place in your own home.
You knew you had let your frustrations out on him. He didn't deserve that. Jimin was the sweetest man alive. He only deserved happiness. But you weren't his happiness.
Or that was what you thought.
His soft and flirty personality had made you think that perhaps he liked you in the beginning but you got to know that it was only how he was with nearly everyone.
He was too precious to hurt yet he had hurt you.
You walked and walked. Tears left your eyes and rolled down your cheeks, mixing with the rain that poured down your form. You began walking over a crossroad, your ears finding home in the sound of the rain that was almost soothing for your pained soul.
You didn't hear the quick footsteps approaching you, nor did you hear the shout of your name over the sound of the rain. You didn't hear the honk of the car as it approached you quite fast.
You could only hear the rain. The ever so calming rain along with the rapid thumping of your heart.
Tumblr media
Jimin saw you at the distance. Despite the heavy rain that had nearly drenched him completely, the umbrella was of no use anymore. Despite the blurry vision in his eyes due to unshed tears of his own desperation. He saw you.
He saw you crossing the street. Your head hung low.
He couldn't describe the feeling when he saw you. Found you. You were there, his feet carried him without him being truly present, his mind drowning in the essence of you.
Jimin saw how your silhouette got illuminated by light. As if you were an angel. To him, you were. And he lived in a second of perfection. He watched in slow motion as you stood in the middle of the crosswalk, light framing your figure with the drops of the rain frozen in the air.
A second of perfection.
You looked ethereal.
But the clock continued its counting and the next second was the harsh landing on reality.
Jimin didn't hesitate, he was running. He ran as fast as he could. He had to reach you. He had to. The light that had made you look so majestically a mere second ago were the upcoming lights of a car that wouldn't pull over in time.
A shout of your name left his lips. The desperation evident in his voice. If only he could stop time. If only he could make it go back, stop you from leaving the flat.
"(y/n)!"
If only he had taken the impact of his heart when he had fallen for you and not wait until now.
His hand grabbed yours. The moment he got a good grip on your hand he yanked you towards him. The car sped off, not even glancing back through the rear view mirror. A gasp left your lips when you collided with his chest, his arms around your slightly shorter form.
Then there was silence. Silence in his mind. A subtle ringing in his ears as the adrenaline wore off, his breathing returning back to normal as he gripped your arms; pressed you as firmly as he could against him.
You grounded him.
You always have.
Even without knowing it. He had to make sure you were fine. He had to feel you with him. Had to stop the horrendous scenarios in his head from flying around and leaving black smoke behind.
And then he pulled you away from him. Held you at arms-length. His eyes bore into your own while he could hear the strong sound of the rain against the ground. Jimin swallowed, trying to stop the racing thoughts in his mind while thinking that you were fine. You were with him. You were alive.
"Are you crazy?! Can't you see you could have died?!"
He shouted out of anxiety. Fear. If he hadn't been gripping you by your arms so strongly you would have noticed how his hands shook. If he hadn't been so consumed by the fear, he would have noticed the redness in your eyes.
And then he realised. You had been crying. Your mind was as lost as his. His eyes softened, the grip on your arms loosened enough for you to walk away from his grasp yet you didn't move. You didn't say a word. The word of it all crashing down on you like a tsunami.
The unspoken words, the buried feelings, the ache in your heart.
Jimin sighed, a shiver ran down his spine when a subtle breeze passed you both. He took a step closer and engulfed you in his arms once more.
In a softer way. In a gentler manner.
And then he heard it. He heard your sob in the midst of the chaos that was your heart. You cried in his embrace while standing in the pavement, his chin rested atop your head as silent tears left his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I-I'm so sorry."
Your stuttered words crushed his heart. He couldn't bear the pain in your voice.
"I'm sorry too. I... I shouldn't have said those things back at the flat."
Jimin felt your hands around his waist and he tightened his hold on you just a bit more. To reassure you it was fine. That he was there. That you weren't alone. You would never be alone for as long as he lived.
You clutched his shirt in your fists, letting the pain, the anguish, the fear, the shock all wash over you.
"You scared me out there, (y/n/n)."
He whispered. His words were meant for the wind to carry them but you heard them well. You always heard what he had to say.
Lifting your head, you gazed into his eyes, noticing the unshed tears in his dark orbs.
"Why would you be scared? Why did you come out here to find me?"
Jimin looked down at you, he didn't mind the rain pouring over you both. Your clothes were damped, so were his. Your hair was completely drenched and the light makeup on your face was slightly smudged but to him you looked beautiful. So beautiful.
He smiled softly, a tear sliding over his cheek only to then mix with the rain on his tanned skin. One of his hands cradled the side of your face and you felt fire burn your skin beneath his palm.
"Because I love you."
A small gasp left your lips. Was this real? Were you dreaming? For only in your dreams had Jimin ever confessed to having such strong feelings for you.
"I love you so much and I have loved you for a very long time."
Your lips parted softly while you blinked back the tears that melted against your eyelashes.
"Forgive me for saying it like this but I cannot hold it in me any longer. I love you, (y/n)."
A second passed after those words left his plump lips, his heart was beating so fast in his chest for a moment he feared it might leave his ribcage or worse, that you could hear how frantically and strongly his heart beat for you.
A second passed where nerves invaded his mind and body.
What if you didn't feel the same?
What if you liked someone else?
What if he was just a friend?
But then your lips were on his. You stood on your tiptoes, hands resting on his hips as you kissed him. It was soft, a small peck over his pink lips and then it ended.
You parted enough for you to be able to breath, water dripped between you both and you would be lying if you said you were calm at that moment. You were the opposite of calm. You were astonished by your own actions and surprised at Jimin's lack of rejection.
"I love you too. I have loved you for so long and I will continue to love you everyday more and more."
His lips crashed against yours the next moment, his arms fully encircling you to the point where he lifted you off your feet. The kiss was more passionate; stronger. Jimin poured his heart and soul into that kiss and you took it all without hesitation.
Breathless you parted from him. The both of you panting softly while a smile graced your lips and he looked down at you with the fondest look that had ever graced his handsome features.
"Be mine forever."
Jimin whispered. As if you were the only one meant to hear those words. The secret of his soul. You nodded, your hands caressing his face while he held you close to him by the waist.
"Love me forever."
June/29/2023
~Masterlist
Likes, Comments and Reblogs are really appreciated!!!
**☕Caffeinate me so I can keep on writing! ☕
115 notes · View notes
mimiwrites2000 · 5 months
Text
Attack On… Podcast!
Archive of Our Own
As the Attack on Titan series comes to an end after ten years, the cast is reunited in hosting a podcast, talking about their times on the set of the filming, their friendships, and all in-between.
And well, shenanigans are inevitable.
Attack on Titan acting AU, as the cast host a podcast, and interview the rest of the cast.
Tumblr media
Episode 02
Armin: On that day, mankind received a grim reminder. We lived in fear of the Titan–
Eren: Armin you really don't have to start every episode with that.
Mikasa: Hey, he enjoys it, let him be.
Eren: I shall obey.
Armin laughing: welcome! To the second episode of this podcast! Again here we talk about our time in the show Attack on Titan, and as you already heard her voice, our special surprise guest for today is the one and only, Mikasa! 
Eren cheering: the queen herself has blessed us! 
Mikasa: Well, thank you, I am happy to be here.
Armin: So for you who don't know, since everyone will be asking this in the comments, yes, they are a couple in real life, and yes, they did meet on set, and yes, they are engaged, you could've known all of that if you follow them on Instagram.
Mikasa laughing:  I mean you could've announced it a little bit more cheerful.
Eren: yeah what's up Armin–
Armin: don't even try Eren, and I will be your best man, you really don't have a choice.
Eren laughing: Alright, Mikasa, my beloved, would you do us the honors of reading our first question? 
Mikasa: Of course, so, this is… from Tumblr, oooh you guys have fans on Tumblr.
Armin: if that's not enough indication that we are unhinged then I don't know what is.
Eren laughing so hard: what makes it even stupider is that this is literally only our second episode.
Armin: the fangirls be fangirling!
Eren: the tumblr be tumblring!
Mikasa: I had my good Tumblr phase.
Armin: actually you do still have your good Tumblr phase, everyone go follow her at Mikasa_Ackreman, she posts nice sad poetic stuff–
Mikasa: That's not true, anyway so this question here says, oh this is actually a special question for me, me and my boyfriend love you so much, aw thank you I love you too, do you still have that red scarf from set? 
Eren: Oh boy.
Mikasa: I do, actually, there were so many replicas of the scarf, because it kept tearing up because of all the stunts we were doing.
Eren whispering: she's the only one who did all of her stunts.
Mikasa shaking her head: and yeah because of the stunts, we had to have many scarves, which, I have them all. And before Eren starts complaining yes I do have them in our house–
Eren: They are everywhere!
Mikasa: But I am looking into turning them into pillows or something! 
Armin laughing: you have a wedding to plan.
Mikasa: I know! I know! But hear me out, I do, in fact, still have the scarf from that very first episode.
Armin: awwww.
Mikasa: because it means so much to me, it started my whole career, and it made me fall in love with that guy over there.
Eren: didn't take long to charm her! A scarf was all it took.
Armin: genuinely still baffled how she said yes.
Eren laughing: hey what do you know about love? We were meant to be! 
Armin: yes yes, actually, they are the reason why I still believe in love, they have something… that I've never seen before, they are the true embodiment of love and respect.
Eren: Is your goal making me cry?
Armin: no but genuinely sick of third wheeling you both.
Mikasa laughing: we never did that intentionally!
Armin: You literally left me in the movie theater the other day.
Eren: hey–
Armin: and didn't notice I was gone until you got home!
Eren laughing: you realize you're stuck in this forever.
Armin: yeah I cry every night! 
Mikasa: save your tears for the wedding.
Armin: Speaking of your wedding, did you pick a dress?
Mikasa: well…
Eren: Hold on, you chose a dress?
Mikasa: I… might have.
Eren: alright let's end the podcast here– 
Armin laughing: nope! Nope, sorry, I might have caused a couple to fight! I take full responsibility!
Eren: yeah you better do, and read this next question.
Armin: yeah so, again from Tumblr, we got this ask that says… who is your favorite titan? oh the female titan for sure.
Eren: Ok, that was quick.
Mikasa: yeah that was quick.
Armin: I mean, come on, the female titan is the coolest of all titans.
Eren: well my favorite titan is definitely my own titan, because that's the coolest thing of all time, and by the way, I think this photo did it's circulation around the internet already, but my final titan form, the whole head, was not CGI, the set designers actually built that, like the whole titan head, and the inside of it, for the final scene of my character, and it was so cool.
Armin: we had great talents on set, I mean, the set designs and all that, like, despite having all the generated effects in post, so many great locations and in-camera effects were shot on set, and all of it was absolutely mind blowing, they brought back filmmaking techniques from decades ago and merged it with current technology and the result was mind-blowing.
Mikasa: our whole village, in Shiganshina was built in a sound stage, and we cried when they had to ruin it for the third season haha.
Armin: yeah we did, I remember that, it felt like they were destroying our own home, it was ridiculous.
Eren: Mikasa.
Mikasa: yes.
Eren: What's your favorite titan?
Mikasa: well…
Eren: I know your answer.
Mikasa: it's actually the armored titan.
Eren: excuse you-
Mikasa: when we were kids, seeing it in the final movie and all that, for me, at that time, or even now, it was magic.
Eren: You betrayed me.
Mikasa: if you accept my scarves –
Eren: Accepted! 
Armin: Alright alright, so the third and final question we have for today, Eren do us the honors?
Eren: Sure, so, again from Tumblr, what was your first reaction when you read the finale script for the first time? Armin has a good answer for this.
Armin: I do, so, we do read the manga, so we already knew the ending, but having the final script in our hands, in my hand, it was a strange sense of fulfillment. I mean, working on a project for over ten years, by the end of those years, you are excited to be done with this project and try other projects and explore more fields, but it's hard, it's not easy.
Mikasa: I like to think of it as moving away to college, all the fights you have with your parents and you just want to move away and you have this great fantasy of a wild college life, then you are hit with the reality and as the date of moving out comes closer, you want to push it away.
Eren: yeah, yeah, exactly, we are all looking forward to our next projects, and what life holds for us, but a huge part of us is still on that set.
Armin: yeah… you guys will make me cry.
Mikasa: aw, no, hey listen, we are still here, cheers to that?
Eren: cheers to that indeed! Also, by the way, Mikasa and Armin were the only ones to actually go to college and keep up with our crazy shooting schedule.
Mikasa: and we graduated with great grades.
Eren: ok ok you don't have to rub it in my face.
Armin: I'll be the first to sign a petition for Eren to go to college.
Eren: naaaah, that's just not meant for me.
Armin: well, we get to another end of our podcast, and we will meet you next time, with two special guests next time, tune in.
Eren: Mikasa, did you actually pick a dress?
41 notes · View notes
fuckyeahfightlock · 4 months
Text
20 questions for fic writers 2023
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
207
2. What’s your total A03 word count?
1.2 million (!!!)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
BBC Sherlock (Sherlock TV, ACD), Doctor Who/Torchwood, Black Sails/Treasure Island, Maurice (film/novel), Raffles/Raffles TV, Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23, Dexter, The Sandman (comics), Versailles, The Untamed, MST3K
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
The Imposter Art and Nature Boyfriend Material Eight and Fifty Nights Wind and Winter
No surprise three of those are from the same series (my most popular one). I kind of feel like The Imposter is my fandom legacy, which is fine by me; I'm proud of it.
Tumblr media
(they're all beauties, in my eyes)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I started out responding to every one. I barely do anymore, only because when I was writing long, chaptered fics, it became overwhelming. Lately I get many fewer, so I do respond to some. I tend to reply to comments on non-Sherlock fics more now, because the fandoms are smaller and I like to gas us up a little!
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Am and Was, the final story in my fight!lock series Bleed So Pretty, ends with a double suicide.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Probably All Said and Done, the happy ending for the 1920s stately home series, Dawn Before the Rest of the World. But a lot of my fics have happy endings, even most of the angsty ones.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I have! Very early on someone got very angry that AUs even exist, and took it out on one of my stories (maybe it was the first AU she ever read???); she mostly complained that I was writing Them out of character, which is probably true to some extent, but everyone has their own tolerance levels for that kind of stuff, so, whatever. Someone got very angry that one of my missing-scene fics based on a novel included verbatim text at the beginning and end (context being necessary to the bit I wrote in the middle), even though I made that VERY CLEAR in the beginning notes; she was not satisfied and felt I was a plagiarist, which to me is not a concept that even applies to transformative works, so again, whatever.
I don't mind any comment except ones that boil down to "I don't like this," because there's nothing I can do about that. I can fix spellings and punctuation, sew up plot holes, and make other minor adjustments to the technical stuff. But if someone just comments that they don't like the story, I'm helpless.
9. Do you write smut?
Very much so! I have written entire long novels just as set dressing for smut.
10. Do you write crossovers?
Several! I decided as soon as Sherlock came out on BBC that it takes place in the very same universe (London, present day) as Doctor Who/Torchwood (so, aliens exist). So I crossed those over a bunch. Doctor Who/Torchwood also got crossed over with Dexter, and with The Sandman comics. ACD!Holmes crossed over with Raffles, based on a screenplay of a film featured on MST3K. Black Sails is already Treasure Island pastiche, so that counts though I'm not responsible for it.
Tumblr media
(this legendary bitch was only a bitch from a legend in Treasure Island)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I was a victim of netscraping of the AO3 by various pay-to-read schemes, twice. But to my knowledge, no one person has like, copy/pasted my fic and put their name on it as the author.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
A couple in Russian, a couple in Chinese.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Twice. It's not really my jam.
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
Johnlock.
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
A final story in my Road to Home series, a fix-it fic where Donna gets her memory back (which I began writing in 2013 or 2014). Now that she's got it back in canon, it seems even less likely I'll ever finish it.
Tumblr media
(Russell T Davies accepted it maybe a little TOO hard)
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Right now, discipline (mine, not in my BDSM AU characters')
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I've done it, probably not 100% correctly or well, but I try really hard (not just google translate! I consult native speakers!) to get it right. Generally I recommend keeping it to a minimum unless you learn the trick where AO3 lets you hover a cursor over text and you can put the translation in the pop-up. Too few people are multilingual.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
I wrote self-insert Duran Duran bandom fic starting when I was 12, in 1984. My first fic on the AO3 was a Sherlock fic.
Tumblr media
(my first husband, John Taylor)
20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?
Don't make me choose! I can't choose a favourite child. Today I was writing on One-Man Advantage, so that's a fave because of recency bias, but I was also thinking about Stages, so that's a fave because when I think of it my heart aches. The Re/Formation of Billy Bones is a fave because I love the backstory I created for him and I think I wrote it well. At Depth is a tiny hidden gem. I love all the Christmas ones and all the snowed-in ones. I love the kinky ones and the fluffy ones and the ones with OCs. I love some I've forgotten about. I love'm all.
Thanks for tagging me, @onesmallfamily !
30 notes · View notes