#letters i'll never send

[rowandarling]

it’s a quiet sort of tragedy

to feel the time slip away

the ghost of your hand is letting go

and your warmth is a distant memory

you’ve gone so far

yet i am right where you left me

#letters i'll never send #literature #poetry #short poem #spilled ink #original poem #poems on tumblr #writing #i love you #love #poem #aesthetic #my poem #spilled poetry #short poetry #mourning the living #love quotes #dark academia #academia #quotes #original poetry #sad poem #love poem #poets on tumblr

[tenth-of-july]

my integumentary system is familiar of even the thought of you that bounce around the voices of people I barely know; they tickle through the cracks of my goosebumps as the words continue to sort themselves into sentences until it eventually forms a coherent conception of who we were, what happened in between, and what we could have been. they continue to feel familiar deep through the layers of my skin, below my subcutaneous, inside my marrows, and around my tendons.

#literature #poem #poetry #letters #letters i'll never send #love poem #prose poem #prose #prose poetry #spilled ink

[signed-someone]

To the couple who walked past me earlier,

six months ago I might have cried.

today I could only smile.

it was something about the way one of you slipped your hand around the other's waist on the inside of their coat, and the way the other leant into it.

the care in the touch, the love in the glances.

the meaning behind every smile, every word, every breath.

six months ago I might have cried.

today I could only smile.

#honesty #letter #letters #letters i'll never send #note app #note app poem #notes #poem #love #couple #couple goals #intimate #lovers #passion #romantic #romance

[scamomile]

It's getting harder and harder to remember why I'm still here. I do things just to make sure I'm still corporeal. I fear that one day I will wake up to find that I can no longer interact with the world around me; that I would wake as a phantom. I know this is a terrible thing to say, but the truth is, I'm not sure if I should go on existing. The night calls and I find myself too weak to resist its summons. If this is the last time I write to you, I swear I tried. I have never been very strong, you know this, but please, please know I tried.

#writing #blog #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #creative writing #letters i'll never send #tw sui ideation #longing #dissociation

[aelysianfields]

it's weird to be the villain in a story when you thought you were the victim, but who says they have to be mutually exclusive?

#personal blog #letters i'll never send #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #shower thoughts

[the13dreamers]

Dear West Street,

Where the garden beds are filled with sand. Where the flowers won’t grow, but the mint will. Where I bought my first car for $1,300 and lost the key three weeks later. Down the street and to the right is the pizza shop, where we sat on the Stairway to Heaven (which is really just a flight of stairs in front of the building). Do you remember? The sun buries its face in the breasts of the clouds. Nick played the song I loved best, but I can’t remember the name. You picked me up after I talked you down from the railing. Funny how my legs gave out while yours never trembled. I still think about the careless way your headlights never looked back. Did you forget about West Street? My first night in my apartment, you brought wine and the scrawny guy from the show. He sang Jolene by Ray LaMontage. He had a voice that even the wine couldn’t make sound good.

But that night, with Christmas lights tracing the baseboards, with only a rug to sit on and your parakeet laugh ricocheting off the walls, with my bruised knee & bad taste in jokes (and men), I made excuses for it. Maybe he never found the breath he lost climbing up the steps. Maybe this wine just sucks.

West Street is where I lost the keys to my house at least 7 times. I’d climb back inside using the window to my living room on the second floor. By then, I had a cat and a septum ring, and a fuck buddy who lived down the road. He taught me how to longboard and kiss real slow. I got bruises from both, so he showed me how to walk it off. We watched a Studio Ghibli movie he had on DVD, but I fell asleep right after the opening scene. I threw away that damn disk as soon as I stopped fucking him. You asked me to go for a walk across the Sundial Bridge, where you cried for all the trees that turned to ashes last year. You were funny in that way. One minute you’d be laughing about some girl you’d flipped off, or some guy you told to kiss your ass. And the next second you’d be crying for the rainforests that can’t weep for themselves to water their roots.

I love(d) you because when life gave you lemons, you’d sell them a buck each and use the money to buy a string of beads. I love you in a way that happens once or never at all.

#dear diary #letters i'll never send #spilled ink #poetry #writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity

[coeurdetout]

for mo, 21.12.2022

#poetry #poem #notes app poetry #poet #poets on tumblr #books & libraries #quote #inspiration #dark academia #light academia #academia aesthetic #love #writing #writers #missing someone #letters i'll never send

[nobodys-saviour]

hey. i have to be honest: i've forgotten you. for quite some time now, in fact. i think it's time to tell you i did find you annoying sometimes, but that was just me being grown, and you being young. i was being overly critical because i was grumpy and old and you were so filled with energy... but you are very sweet and very nice, and i wish i can say i still have all the art you made for me, but the truth is my laptop broke a few months back and i couldn't retrieve any of my files.

but today, my calendar notified me: it's your birthday. and i remembered you. everything.

i wanted to find you again, but i couldn't, as it had been quite some time, and after the mess there, i'd understand if you left completely, like i did. but i miss you, and i hope you're happy. i hope you have the loveliest birthday today. enjoy your day, sweetheart.

#🎈 🎂 happy birthday #letters i'll never send

[fairlytaleofloveonearth]

Our lips tangle together as the moonlight illuminates our conjoined faces

The soft, sweet feel of your mouth on mine is enough to have me itching for more

But I make sure to go slow;

To savor every moment, to savor all of you.

But also, I’m secretly hanging on to the possibility that those three words we’d promised to never say will fall from your mouth into mine.

I know you feel them.

You must because I do, too.

#original poem #deep thoughts #love poem #hidden gems #hidden love #secret love letters #letters i'll never send #my last first kiss #my last two brain cells #kisses #relatable #realtionship #friends who kiss #friends with secrets #fwb dating #atomic heart #motivation #love me

[solacemygame]

2023. The year that i I have lost you, the only person i know i was ever truly in love with.. The only girl i know i would have loved loving.. my best friend.. my once in a lifetime person. :’( i still miss our conversations . Our late night talks. Our connection. How happy we used to be before i messed things up. To be fair, we both failed to do some things we should have, and did some things we shouldn’t. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt the need to let go. I would have married you in a heartbeat, if things were not complicated. You know this. I never wanted to lose you. Never wanted us to end this way. Never wanted us to end.. but mistakes have been made. If only there was a reset button.. If only i could go back in time and make things right. :’( but things are what they are. And maybe it is the way they are supposed to be. If only it wasn’t so painful…

Still feels like a nightmare. I wish i could wake up and things are back to how it was between us.. :’( but i know it is too late. I have lost you.. and a part of me will always feel this void you have left. I will always feel this pain. I will live with this pain. in a way, you are more fortunate than i am. Because at least, you were able to marry and live with the one you love.. or at least used to love. And you were happy then. You both were. I’ll never have that chance.. i lost it when i lost you. But you were never mine to begin with.. yet after you, we both know my heart cannot be as in love with anyone else as much as it was with you.. you were everything i dreamed of. I don’t know if i can ever be as happy as i was than when we were together. I was happiest with you. You were my home. My perfect fit. But you were never really mine. i was never really your home. That privilege already belonged to someone else..

So I had to do what i had to do. Even when it hurts so much. :’( and i have to live with my decisions. For better or worse. And i know it would take a lot of work to make things work with what i had to settle with. But isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? You work things out. And it has been a struggle for me. When everything could have been easier with you. Because you are the one i love. But maybe it is for the best. And I hope things will make sense in the end. It has to mean something at least. Right? All this pain? :( i am sorry for all the pain i caused you. I hope you know how much it cost me too. I will always grieve the loss of you.. you will always be my love at first sight, and all of me will always be in love with all of who you are.. you will always be the most beautiful woman to me. My muse. My heart.

i hope 2024 will be kinder to both of us. I will cherish all our memories. They are precious to me.. your laugh still echoes in my ears.. your face still lingers on my mind.. your love still clutches at my heart.. all the happy moments we had, i will ever hold them dear..

happy new year to you. I know you’ve somehow found your peace.. i pray that i find my peace too.

I pray that things will work out well for you.. I wish you all the happiness.. may this year bring you so much joy and fulfillment, laughter and love.. because you deserve it. You deserve all the best.. and even though i know i shouldn’t be saying this anymore, let me say it once again. i love you. I really did love you.. I still do.. I will always do.. from the first time i saw you, to the last time we talked.. Even while i was letting go.. even if i never say it again. Even if i never see you again.. even if you never read this. Even if you hate me. I will always love you. I will aways care.. My heart will always be homesick for you..

May this new year give you all that you deserve.. be safe always…

#i love you #i miss you #i’m sorry #i will always love you #letters i'll never send #words you’ll never read

[jo-march-wannabe]

Letters to Those I’ve Loved (& Lost)

-

(that I’ll never send)

-

I fear I’ve always felt connections more deeply than others, that I grow too attached to those I feel any sense of belonging with. Platonic, romantic. That’s never really mattered to me.

Going off that note, I know I felt more attached to you than you did to me, which makes sense. My regret that I’ve kept locked in a vault somewhere in my mind for the past decade isn’t a reason for you to care to know me in any way, or any time.

All this is to say, I think in another life, things could’ve been very different. I think in another life, I could’ve loved you, if only for a while. As for this life, I’m happy to just be your friend again. I think we’d have been good friends when we were younger, even if we didn’t care to know each other at the time.

I may hate time and its cruel effects, but I appreciate that in this instance time has allowed us to know each other again in any sense.

#feeling like a tortured poet #writers #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #female writers #overcoming writers block #love letters #letters #platonic #love #writerscommunity #writeblr #writing #writing progress #writblr #letters i'll never send #to those I love #in another life #in another universe #friends #i miss my old life #life lessons #life quotes #life #time #for the first time in years #a decade later #memories #attachment issues #delusional attachment

[rowandarling]

there’s this loose piece of thread in me

tucked in the marrows of my bones

it’s hooked itself onto you

taking a bit of me

as you drift

further

and

further

away from me

these days i find myself

unraveling, fraying, dissolving

running out of words, out of time, so

for my sake, i’ll sever the string binding us

#letters i'll never send #literature #poetry #short poem #spilled ink #original poem #poems on tumblr #writing #i love you #love #poem #dark academia #romantic academia #light academia #short poetry #original poetry #my art #art #words #short story

[tenth-of-july]

a requiem

as happy as I am for the others, I do not wish to sit in the back tables of banquets, celebrating over someone's shared love. I swallow dandelion greens and turmeric to ease the bitter pain, but I still somehow end up in a coffin, in a mass I never want.

everyone could be standing at my wake and they would see my face, pink and pale from the lipstick and uneven contours. They don't notice that a finger is missing on my left hand where a ring is supposed to be linked to the veins near my heart. They only see the face of a woman who has smiled, laughed, cried, and yelled in front of them; but they never see the finger that has waited for a ring or any symbolic object to reassure her that romance is not as dead and cold as her.

they pray for my departure but I refuse to go; for what is the purpose of a requiem, what is the purpose of my dead body, my hands, my fingers, if there is nothing to hold?

#literature #poem #poetry #letters #letters i'll never send #love poem #prose #prose poem #prose poetry #spilled ink #taylor swift

[signed-someone]

To her again,

I fell in love for the first time when I was 17.

and you were incredible, something I couldn't begin to explain and didn't want to.

everything about you existed as this immovable constant in my mind.

no distance would stop me from loving you, no argument would make me love you less, and nothing could stop the words from pouring out when I declared just how much...

my heart broke for the first time when I was 18.

and you left remnants of love etched into my skin.

you existed in photos and texts and everything I was desperate to forget about.

no distance stopped me from thinking of you, no time has passed that's made me think less of you, and there are nights even now I wonder whether I'm still in love...

or just miss the feeling.

#honesty #letter #letters #letters i'll never send #note app #note app poem #notes #poem #love #crush #honestly #true and honest #wlw #gay #sapphic #lesbian #butch lesbian #healing #self reflection #letting go

[treetimesthree]

monday

I thought I was getting 'better', so to speak. Not checking up on you from a distance, not secretly hoping you make eye contact when we're in the same room, not wishing on eyelashes for another chance. I guess this is the relapse, huh? You're like a disease a broken bone that didn't heal right; calcified into a permanent part of me. You are forever burrowed in my heart, unable to leave - is that because you refuse to go, or because I can't bear to let you?

I'm really struggling these days. Unhealthy habits. Not sleeping. Too much drinking. I've been craving a smoke for some reason. I guess the possibility of a shorter life span is more of an appeal right now. 

What is wrong with me? You've invaded my every waking thought. Even when I sleep, you follow me. Sleep is fitful because I wake up, arms outstretched, and have to come to the realization that dreams are no longer a reprieve from living. It's almost worse, the one world where I hold onto you only exists temporarily. 

I've been getting those 'in another universe' videos on my feed lately. Would this play out the same in any universe? Are we the lighter and cigarette? Oil and water? Or is there a world out there where I'm still waking up next to you? Still asking about your day? I'm not religious, but I pray for that existence. If there is a god, I would hope he would not be so cruel to keep you away from me in every universe. 

Sorry, I guess I've been picking up on the poetry.

#letters i'll never send #shitty poetry #insomia #man what the fuck #heartbreak

[xxvergoldetxx]

excerpt from a letter I wrote some time ago

#exvangelical #ex evangelical #former christian #ex christian #deconstruction #deconstructing christianity #religious trauma #leaving religion #religious fear #I’m scared of god #im exhausted #unlearning #excerpts #letters i'll never send