#like mine aren't even That Loose & I'm still in So Much Pain

[skywerse]

AVA FERIN MIGHT STILL BE ALIVE

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS IN GENERAL

HEAR ME OUT, READ BELOW THE CUT AND TELL ME IF IT'S SOMETHING OR IF I'M SIMPLY LOOSING MY SHIT OVER NOTHING... BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE TO ME—

Fey Ferin wants R.A.F.T to seize control over the world, and there's nothing that can stand in her way, not even her own family.

There might have been a time when Jayson Ferin was a good man. Based on what May says about him and glimpses we get from Jay's early memories (I recall one with the pin), it appears he once was. Perhaps Jayson desired change for the navy too, but that would be such a pain for Fey to deal with. So, she seems to have brainwashed him for months, possibly years by now (ep 79, Gilly detects corruption in him mixed with good energy), molding him into the perfect soldier who doesn't question orders and neglects his family for the sake of helping his mother to carry out this great fucking world domination plan.

Fey likely harbors resentment towards Drey for not being obedient like his brother, opting for a pirate's life over being loyal to his family and their ideals. Yet, Fey can't bring herself to kill him, so she puts him in a top security prison to let him rot instead.

Ava was the ideal soldier—strong, brave, and revered by all. However, for Fey, Ava's kindness, compassion, and desire for change is simply another pain to deal with. But of course, she would not kill her own family. And she couldn't let her just vanish either.

Perhaps Fey suspected that Ava had a soft spot for pirates, given her upbringing in Eagle's Den and being raised by such a softhearted daughter-in-law. But perhaps, on one occasion, someone witnessed Ava together with a pirate, and somehow that information reached Fey. And after learning that her granddaughter, her esteemed captain, had feelings for a pirate from the crew of the last remaining pirate lord she aimed to get rid of, Fey simply couldn't let this opportunity slip by.

Maybe Ava cooperated willingly, fought like hell, or simply was faced with a deal she couldn't refuse. R.A.F.T. wouldn't just eliminate their top captain, such a vital asset for the upcoming war. Instead, they created a doppelgänger, and chucked the real Ava into some top-notch secret confinement. Letting the dopple to become their pawn. A perfect martyred hero to be killed by those bad bad pirates. A perfect excuse to wage a war over.

But the doppelgängers aren't perfect. So when Lizzie tells Ava about a pirate who is like a father to her, Ava doesn't remember. And when Lizzie begs her not to fight, Ava doesn't listen because she doesn't remember the numerous times they sneaked out together to simply talk like normal people do. And when there's an order to shoot, Ava doesn't move away, as she remembers she was only created to destroy and to be destroyed.

Would Jayson know? Probably not. His hatered toward the pirates responsible for his daughter's death would likely fuel his brainwashed self even more. Very convenient for the long run.

Fey might permit her youngest granddaughter to infiltrate the pirates, banking on her own hatered over her sister's death to maybe one day make her an even better soldier than Ava ever was.

But maybe Fey was wrong.

And she knows it when she receives news of her son's escape from prison, and when her other son suddenly takes leave, or perhaps when a navy base on the Black Sea is breached.

So, when her promising soldier begins to rebel, it might be time to reveal the secret that she's been keping. Maybe it will help her granddaughter decide which side to choose in the end.

me rn:

But idk, that's just my speculation. If it turns out to be a load of bullshit you can point and laugh, but at this point it makes so much sense in that smooth brain of mine as I'm writing this at 7am after getting no sleep whatsoever.

ALSO, just something fun to think over:

In the rolled for 114, Grizz mentioned that the doppel/brainwashing machine had buttons with dates on them. And if pressed, it would display the people who had previously used it. I can't help but wonder if my theory about Ava is true if she might have showed up there. Or maybe it could have shown Jayson getting his fucking brain blasted. BUT WELP, someone rolled like shit (pointsatgillionpointsatgillion) and we'll never know now—

#i know grizzly and his tragic lesbians #he would not do this to me #i have hope #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi #fey ferin #drey ferin #jay ferin #jayson ferin #ava ferin #source: i made it the fuck up #edit: I reposted this on twitter and grizzly liked it #🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤 what do you have to say big man spit it out 🎤🎤🎤

[mistydeyes]

Are your pairings still open? Feel free to ignore this if they aren't

Pronouns:

She/her

Appearance:

5ft tall (short as hell) and chubby.

I'm very Pale with freckles and green eyes. I have dyed black hair cut into a shag with bangs.

I'm very insecure about my body and kinda hate the way I look. I may have a slight eating disorder but Im usually fine. Currently trying to lose weight healthily.

I dress kinda alternative in blacks and am always wearing a bunch of jewelry. (Mostly ones I make). I am also always wearing boots (Often platform boots).

I wear tight pants both beacause they look good and I have sensory issues. I can't stand loose ones and mostly wear yoga pants.

Other:

I love to sew, crochet, make jewelry, draw etc... Basically anything where I get to create something. I love seeing an idea come to life. I'm constantly making things and I like to fidget with anything I get my hands on (meaning I have a habit of breaking stuff) (oops).

I constantly crave affection (but will never admit to that) I really love cuddling, and am definitely touch starved but anyone who knows that has figured it out themselves. Because for some reason my brain thinks I don't deserve any of it.

I am way too nice to everyone, even at my own expense and tend to Bury my emotions when I am in pain. I have Depression and some anxiety and tend to worry about if anyone I know actually likes me while simultaneously thinking that I don't deserve anyone to love me.

I am shy and awkward as heck. But I will talk your ear off if you get to know me.

I love all animals and have a particular fondness for the odd ones. Reptiles and fish are awesome but I love everything including worms that I will rescue from the sidewalk.

I own some fish and shrimp that I love. My plecos and my gecko are like my babies. Especially my boy Groot. He's an albino bristnose pleco and is very ugly, but I love him so much. My entire phone is photos of him and my leopard gecko Leo. (Resisting the urge to attach one) (nevermind) (I'm attaching photos of him, Leo, and my other pleco- Carlos)

I know a lot of random facts about animals and can rant for hours about my interests. Very passionate about animals and their care. Love all mine even if I might play favorites.

I'm also not super Great at reading social situations. Expecially flirting. I am so oblivious and unless someone is incredibly direct I won't notice it or think it's a joke.

I will gift people I like things I make. I make a lot of plushies in particular that I create. I love to see people happy

Johnny "Soap" Mactavish (a/n: ur lil pets are absolutely adorable!! i literally cannot get over how cute they are, thank you so much for including pictures of them)

How you met: The first time you and Johnny met was definitely a story that entertained all your friends. It all started when you were at the pet store buying crickets and mealworms for your geckos. As you inspected the container of dried insects, someone came up next to you. You first noticed his basket was full of a 5lb bag of dog food that he effortlessly held in one hand. The next was his smile that lit up is face as he looked at you. "I think a restaurant would be a better place to find food don't you think," he asked you and you were a little confused. "But these aren't for me, they're for my geckos," you corrected and his smile faltered a bit. "I uh was just saying maybe I could take you to a nice restaurant some time," he sheepishly said and rubbed the back of his neck as his face grew pink. You had a habit of being terrible at reading social situations and were blushing profusely. "OH, I'm sorry I'm really bad at telling when people are flirting with me," you corrected. "Don't worry, I'm Johnny by the way," he said as he shook your hand, "how about I give you my number and you can call me when you're free? It looks like you have a little army to feed." He wasn't wrong, you were rushing home to feed your babies and this was just meant to be a pit stop. He read out his number as you typed in his number on your phone. "And don't worry if you don't want to, I won't take it to heart," he joked and went to go pay for his things. You stared at your phone for a while as you looked at his contact name "Johnny AKA pick-up line guy."

A peek into your relationship: "Open it," you said excitingly as you pushed the box into Johnny's hands. You had been working on a gift for him for ages and were happy to finish it just as winter was approaching. You had tried your best to keep it a secret and delayed the project as Johnny would always find a way next to you. "Alright, alright, chill little lass," he said as he pulled apart the layers of gift wrap and the lid to a box. You watched intently as he grabbed the two items which sat on a pillow of tissue paper. "You've really outdone yourself, bonnie," he said as he pulled out a crochet hat and scarf. "Heard you can get cold when patrolling and I thought it would keep you warm," you smiled as he inspected the stitches. He eventually saw that you had sewn a little patch with a dog that looked similar to his. "Yer attention to detail is something else," he said as he tried on the set for you. You quickly grabbed your phone as you snapped a picture of him. "That one's a keeper," you said as you laid your head in his lap. He took this time to pepper your face with kisses as you laughed at his stubble brushing your face.

Months later when he was on deployment, you got a message from Ghost that showed the scenery of a snowy cliff and in the center of photo was Johnny bundled up with his scarf and hat.

#izziespairings #madebyizzie #cod mwii #mw2 imagine #task force 141 #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #mw2

[fictionkinfessions]

Seeing a version of him and knowing he's not mine.. that I may never find mine.. it's not. It's not important, y'know, I've come to terms with how unlikely it is with other kins, considering how many are noncanon or pretty canon divergent but. I was in love with him. And I can't remember if he ever loved me the same. As his closest friend, he did, I know that much. I want to say we were together but. Is that wishful thinking? Or were we actually? Perhaps we were like B and his partner, never really putting a name to it despite it being obvious.

I wish there were more kins from this source on Tumblr, but all I can find are a few asks sent to this blog.. I feel alone again. Like when him and his brothers all left, and only us three remained. And we did our best to keep each other afloat. But, of course, B started pushing me away when he realized the guys weren't coming back. When I stopped being able to come up for reasons why they hadn't returned.

But I understood, still do. I was a constant reminder of what wasn't around so. I left. Went Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and I lived there for a while. It was safe, and it was lonely.. and it was quiet. But it helped me forget when I was on my own. I could keep myself busy and not have time to think of anything but the next project. But then one day he was just... There. I don't even know how he managed to get there. But..

I'm sorry you found me in that state.. my friend. That I let myself loose my color and forget what it was like to be happy.. but being around you and learning about who you'd become.. it helped so much. You always helped so much just by being around, and it was nice to live together and do work together. You were a horrible cook lol, but. It only added to your charm.

And then they took you... And that entire situation happened and you died. You actually literally died... You came back but. I will never forget that pain. I will never forget the way I swore I couldn't even feel my own heart beating and the way the tears stung my eyes as they forced themselves out... I hope you don't remember that part. How it felt. I hope you have good memories in this life, and aren't in pain.

And y'know, as horrible as everything was and is... I've always really liked your hair. And the new color was no exception /lh

- Lyle , #🐾🪩

🎏

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #🐾🪩 #lylekin #death cw #seekin #memories issue #canoning issue #mod party cat

[godsavemyreputation]

(Trigger warning dark subjects. If you don't like please move onto another post. Anger depression sadness talks of sh. )

The things I really wish someone would tell you about the sh recovery is how you're gonna feel after. No one really tells you or they do, but they don't explicitly tell you how you're going to feel after recovering from self harm how your going to feel after that. They don't really tell you how many times you might relapse, or think about relapse, because if you're like me, and autistic you might not really think about that. Might not really be ready for that post transition in recovery either.

It's not easy when your autistic, and you think daily of ways you can just self regulate in ways that involve sh. I'm talking about this, because I really do think this subject about autism and sh is so taboo it's not talked about. It can also leave us feeling drained when we can't understand our sadness from depression, and we aren't ready for the sad thoughts to trigger again, because we mistaken that for depression. Why on earth is this such a taboo topic? Why does no one ever talk about this?

This is a really heavy post for me to write because my principle traumatized me when I was younger. From then on I thought everything was my fault. Why are schools treating kids that deal with self harm making them feel like they're part of their problem? Mine unfortunately did so and yet it led me and my family to a lot of anger. It led me to depression and anxiety for years and years to come.

But we are forcing kids to talk about dark subjects with no prewarning of what's to come. We are also not giving kids with different mindsets the ability to cope and comprehend the shit we are given. They don't really prepare kids for anything they just damage us, and therefore even if we aren't ready to hear the topic we are still forced to hear that topic or see posters about it daily.

Even when the posters themselves really trigger us. Instead of giving us other strategies to cope specially when you're dealing with kids with disability they give us these, and say someone might be going through this these are the signs. What autistic person is not gonna take this the wrong way? I was bullied for not only being bisexual, but also being autistic. Another thing they don't talk about is how you might be triggered to not do a specific task anymore, because it reminds you of something that you used to do. So that causes too much pain to even do it. You might also be triggered around old friends or even loose some in the process of this.

I didn't really have the best group of people. As soon as I left the school most of mine left me after I did. It was so hard to really put into words what exactly I was feeling, because I felt really I had no one to talk to as a result of them leaving me behind. They left me right where I was. So it never really gave me the chance to move on.

1. They never talk about having difficulty identifying emotions.

2. They never talk about how you feel about certain tasks, after you have anaylized everything and figured out why you are that way.

3. They never tell you you might loose some people.

4. You have to find a support group. They just leave everything like that up to you.

5. You have to rewire your brain all over again. You have to research ways to cope again.

6. Sometimes we are seeking different sensory feelings and might not be able to understand what that specific feeling is.

7. That we might sometimes get frustrated with people that don't have patience with us.

8. There might be times we accidentally lash out at people, because we can't understand what it is we're feeling.

9. How hard it is to leave everything you've had in that lifetime behind.

10. The healing process, and the emotions sometimes popping back up.

#my post #autismawareness #depression awareness

[enhypia]

JW ; bestfriends to lovers

bestfriends to lovers answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: yang jungwon x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint

words: roughly 1.1k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - jungwon speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and jungwon speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hi i'm jungwon

and i'm (y/n)

and we're bestfriends besties

okay one more time

we're bestfriends to lovers!

*they high-five

[you guys were invited here today as bestfriends turned lovers for a fun little drinking game, you guys aware of that right?]

we were

i had to convince jungwon a little bit because he's a lightweight

i am not

you can just answer the questions instead of drinking anyway

i hope you get hard ones so you get drunk

*(y/n) :P

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]

*both nod

[how did you guys become bestfriends?]

our parents forced us, we were threatened

*they laugh

no, our parents are friends and they had this little get-together and they brought their children with

yeah, that's why we were forced to interact

it was better than listening to our parents and not relating to anything

and they got so happy seeing us interacting that we were just always brought to their hangouts

[what was your first impression of each other?]

that jungwon wouldn't hesitate to kick my ass

you weren't wrong

i know. his eyes are very expressive, and i thought he hated me the first time we met

i did

sucks to suck then cause you're dating me now

*jungwon sighs deeply

*(y/n) :O

i thought they were shy

I AM ?!@#

uh huh keep telling yourself that honey

*(y/n) !!??!?

[how about we officially start the game now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, jungwon wins

*jungwon ohhhs after seeing the question

[was there a point where you wanted to end our friendship?]

why are we starting heavy already? gosh

sooo??

i'm answering. there wasn't?

WHY AREN'T YOU SURE??

becaUSE I HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU??? of course i didn't want just friendship, isn't that technically ending it? but from my understanding is end the friendship like completely cut ties off?

*interviewer nods

then no, there wasn't

*(y/n) quickly picks up the card and immediately laughs after reading the question

what? what is it

oh you better answer this cause even i don't know

[when did you start having feelings for me?]

*jungwon blushes and starts to pour a shot

yah!

i'm still answering! i just need this drink

*(y/n) laughs

i started liking you around prom....

*jungwon refuses to meet (y/n) widened eyes

that was almost 2 years ago?!@!

*jungwon ignores the claim

so you're telling me that we could've been together already two years ago ?!

*jungwon eyes widen and smirks

*(y/n) realizes their mistake

[so you already had a crush on me back then too?]

*(y/n) takes a shot sporting a blush and gives a pointed glare, then smiles innocently

i've liked you way before that darling, you just didn't notice

*jungwon.exe has stopped working

okay! next question

[have you ever been jealous of anyone who hit up on me?]

oh god, you wouldn't believe how much time i wasted constantly reminding myself that i have no right to be jealous

*jungwon laughs

what do they even see in you ugh

*he rolls his eyes

you're literally dating me

and what about it??

*jungwon :P

[have YOU ever been jealous of anyone who hit up on me?]

no why would i be?

damn thought for sure the reason you distanced yourself from me when-

*he clamps his hand on (y/n) mouth

we do not speak their name

*(y/n) laughs and pushes jungwon's hand off their face then picks up a card

[question for both: was it scary falling for your bestfriend]

*both share a look and takes a shot

it was terrifying. because you're risking this once in a lifetime friendship and bond you know? that's why i tried really hard to suppress what i was feeling because i couldn't stand the idea of loosing all those just because i liked the person.

*jungwon takes a shot making (y/n) laugh

it was super scary since we've been beside each other for years and i'd rather deal with the unrequited love?? because not having them by my side would be more painful than that

*(y/n) drinks

*both giggle because they're getting tipsy by drinking even though they still answer the question

[who confessed first? how did you guys get together?]

i confessed first. my parents were thinking of moving and i was panicking because i'd have to leave everything behind and in my head i didn't want to leave without jungwon knowing what i felt for him, so i just went 'fuck it, i wont see him again anytime soon anyway' and confessed.

and then they RAN straight home right after, i couldn't even reply??

I WAS SCARED GIVE ME A BREAK

yeah but they forgot that i literally have a key to their house, so i just went there and confessed as well.

and it turns out, we weren't moving, so tada, here we are

we got together after like a week since the confession

jungwon got jealous of-

*he puts a finger to (y/n) mouth to shush them

no❤️

*(y/n) chuckles

what's important is that i love you, you're mine and i am yours, period.

*(y/n).exe is malfunctioning because of jungwon's boldness and drinks

sorry, he gets more straightforward when intoxicated

im intoxicated, not drunk, so my words are true

*(y/n) can't fight the heavy blush appearing on their face

i swear if you don't shut off i will fight you

no you can't, you love me

*(y/n) deadpans and suddenly stares at jungwon lovingly

*pokemon jungwon is paralyzed!

i do, i love you so much.

*he squeaks and tries to hide the blush on his face

*(y/n) bursts out laughing

[last question, how does it feel being in a relationship with your bestfriend?]

it's amazing and kind of scary actually, jungwon knows me so well, and too well, so i can't escape anything from him. whenever i don't feel the best he just knows already without me saying anything. i'm thankful honestly, because he's always there ever since, the bonus now is just i get unlimited kisses and affection

*jungwon rolls his eyes

it's,,, comfortable ?? it's like the safety and comfort home brings. i just feel so understood and loved, sometimes i wonder if i really deserve all these but like (y/n), i'm just grateful that i have them with me.

*everyone in the room aww'ed making them laugh

*jungwon and (y/n) takes one last shot and waved to the camera

and CUT!

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments

a/n: im so hapi that the series masterlist is getting notes huhu tysm <33 i hope you like this one, ive always imagined jungwon as someone who flusters people but you can easily fluster him back, esp if you're his s/o, i'll try to create the rest of the members' as quickly as i can :>>

#enhypen #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen series #enhypen fluff #yang jungwon #jungwon #jungwon fluff #yang jungwon fluff #jungwon x reader #yang jungwon x reader #jungwon imagines #jungwon scenarios #speak or shot #enhypen x gender neutral reader

[lipstickstainz]

true lies - s. r. (12/?)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.

Chapter Summary: A collection of letters Spencer and you share while you're gone - and then you're gone forever. At least, that what he thinks.

Warnings: some fluff, angst, angst, angst, smoking, slight ptsd, grief and loss

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I'm sososososo sorry. please don't hate me. I love you. gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

previous part

Dearest little bear,

two months have passed since you had to leave, and not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here with me.

We are trying to do everything in our power to be able to bring you back home. But unfortunately, it seems to be taking longer than I would like.

I was told you were working on it as well. You are strong and smart and even though you can't be with me, I'm sure we can do it together.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest Neruda,

I was very happy to receive your message. I always carry it with me, although I would rather be in your arms, but I can't.

I can't tell you where I am right now, but still I wish you were with me. It is warm and beautiful and I am sure you would like it here very much.

Except for these letters, I'm not allowed to talk to any of you, but I like talking to you best anyway. We've come this far. And we'll make it.

Thinking of you.

With love,

little bear

-

Dearest little bear,

It's been four months and with each passing second it becomes more unbearable. But a light is appearing at the end of the dark tunnel. We think we know who she is.

It won't be long before we can see each other again. And I can't wait to be able to hug you again. To be able to touch you. Or kiss you.

Not much longer. And then nothing can separate us.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest Neruda,

It would have been too good to be with you again at last. But it still takes time.

I have found something that can help us, but for now, just know that I will do everything I can so that I can return home. Back to you. No matter what it costs.

Keep your eyes open. We're closer than you think.

I'm thinking of you.

With love,

little bear

-

Dearest little bear,

I was given time off to take a break. I was with my mother and she told me that a kind young lady had been here. She doesn't remember you, but she knows you are familiar and that she can trust you. As I do.

I am infinitely grateful. And I'm tired of waiting, but for you I do. For you, I do it all.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest Neruda,

I can no longer grasp a clear thought, because whenever I close my eyes I see everything I have done in review. I can hardly sleep and the nightmares plague me.

I just hope that everything will end soon. It has already been a year since we saw each other. I can't promise you anything, but I hope you know that everything I had to do was for you. For us.

Thinking of you.

With love,

little bear

-

Dearest little bear,

it's been a few weeks since I've heard from you. I hope you are doing well.

We have found a trail that will take us further.And brings me a little closer to you. And that will bring you back home. I can't wait.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

It's been two months since you wrote to me.

Get back to me as soon as you can.

Take care of yourself.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

Words cannot describe how much I miss you. Or how great the pain in my chest is.

I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can hardly breathe without you.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

they hung your picture today. In the portrait you are smiling, proud to finally be part of the team. I can't look at it.

I was sent home, but everything there reminds me of you.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

I keep your letters in a small box next to my bed. They are a part of you that I don't want to lose, even though I have already lost you. They are a part of you, just as you are a part of me.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dearest little bear,

I went to our bookstore and found a book of poems that you would like. I'll put it with your letters.

No book in the world could have prepared me for the grief I feel. The pain is too engaging for me to talk about it with anyone but you.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dear little bear,

it's been almost two years since we last saw each other. I don't remember what you sound like, or what you smell like. Why can't I remember that? Is it wrong of me not to think it's bad? It takes away my pain a little.

Thinking of you.

With love,

Neruda

-

Dear little bear,

A lot has happened in the two years we've been apart. Too much to ever be able to write down all the things. I just want you to know that this time was not easy for me. Not for any of us.

I put your letters away safely because you will always be important to me. But I have to let you go. And with this, I release you.

I love you. Forever.

With love,

Neruda

-

You pinch your leg to wake up. Your neck is wet with cold sweat and you have to blink several times to realize that you are in a cab. You run your hand through your hair as the driver looks at you curiously through the rearview mirror. He says nothing, which is why you glance out the window.

The drive from the airport to Quantico only takes an hour, but you still take the opportunity to close your eyes for a moment and doze a little. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in ages, you don't even know what a healthy portion of sleep feels like anymore, because you haven't had that luxury in the last two years.

As the car comes to a stop in front of the FBI building, you pay the driver and get out with your small bag. The building seems much bigger than you remember. You used to spend every day here, it had once been your home. But now you're not even sure you have a home anymore.

You take a deep breath and enter through the large doors, but are directly approached by a security guard.

"Miss? Are you visiting?", he asks suspiciously, extending his arm to keep you at a distance - something that wouldn't do him much good if you were actually trying to get past him.He eyes you up and down, which you can't blame him for. In your ripped jeans, dirty sneakers, and loose sweater, you don't look like someone who belongs here. By now, you don't either.

You look at him. "I'm here to see Unit Chief Prentiss", you reply coolly. You know he's just doing his job, but you're too impatient to let all this wash over you. You know Emily is already in the office. You know her too well not to. Why doesn't he just go get her? You just want to see your friend.

"Chief Prentiss?" He raises an eyebrow. "And what is your request?"

Your gaze is rock hard and your tone cold as ice. "Tell her Y/N Y/L/N is here to see her."

You wait outside the building, letting the morning sun warm your skin and the cigarette burn between your fingers before you put it to your lips and take a drag. Afterwards, you stub it out on a trash can. As you exhale the last bit of smoke, you turn around. And there she is.

Emily is standing at the door, and when you see her, you drop your bag and wrap her in your arms so tightly that you can't breathe. You cling to her, afraid that maybe this whole thing isn't as real as it feels, but you imperceptibly pinch your arm. And she is still with you.

"I thought - they said", she stammers, and it's the first time in your friendship that she's speechless. You hug her even tighter.

"I know", you answer softly, blinking away the tears that have formed in your eyes. The moment is too beautiful to cry. As you break away from each other, Emily wipes her own tears from her cheeks, but some have already landed on her blouse. There are dark stains now.

"I don't even know what to say", she says, smiling at you as you enter the building together. The guard gives you a look, but doesn't ask any questions as you walk past him toward the elevator. Inside, she pushes a button that takes you to the BAU floor. "I can hardly believe you're really here."

Neither can you.

The office is completely silent because no one is here yet except for you. Although nothing has changed, everything has changed because you are now someone else. It's been a long time since you've been here. Two years, but everything in this room is all too familiar to you. The coffee machine, the law books, the files. It feels like you've never been away. It's déjà vu all over again.

While Emily gets you both coffee, you sit down at the round table and wait for her. Your friend sets the cups down on the table before sitting down next to you. She smiles faintly. "How are you?"

You pucker your mouth. How are you? You haven't been asked that question in ages, and to be honest, you don't know how to answer it either. How could you possibly be?

When you don't answer Emily, she phrases her question differently. "What are you feeling right now?"

Your lips become a thin line. "I don't know. It feels like all of this," you point to the room, "isn't a part of me anymore. Nothing has changed, but it still feels foreign."

Emily nods. "You've been through a lot, I guess." She takes a sip of her coffee. "You're right, Y/N. Nothing has really changed here. But you're a different one now, aren't you?"

You open your mouth to answer her, but you don't know what either. Part of you feels at home here, but a bigger part of you knows your place is somewhere else. You just don't know where exactly.

"Do you want to see the others?", Emily asks. "I'm asking you because it's been a long time since you've seen them. And they think you're...you know. Are you ready for that?"

Are you ready for that? You haven't seen either of them in a long time, and it would probably be better not to see them for now, but to let Emily sort it out first. But the team is your family - the closest thing you have to a family. And you've missed them all terribly.

You nod and take a sip of your coffee as JJ and Rossi enter the room. When they see you, they glance uncertainly at Emily, as if they're not sure if it's just imagination, but she nods at them. And that's when all the dams break for JJ.

She pulls you from your chair and hugs you like the salvation of the world depends on it, and David has to pry her cramped arms from you so he can put his around you as well. They affirm to you how much they missed you and ask how you are, wanting to know what happened, but Tara and Penelope join them and that's when it gets too loud for you.

Penelope cries with joy and Tara also can't believe that you are standing in front of her. They besiege you and ask you questions to which you have no answers, so you just smile weakly at them. They definitely don't mean any harm, after all, you've just risen from the dead for them, but you've spent the last while in silence and are no longer used to this volume. So you turn away from them. They look anxiously after you as you sort of flee from them. You hope that this will make the headache go away.

Without paying much attention to where you're going, you find yourself facing the wall where the pictures of the deceased agents hang. And yours is hanging there, too. You don't know how long you've been standing in front of it - minutes? hours? -until a familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts.

"Y/N?"

You turn around and there stands Spencer. His hair is a little shorter and he looks like he's seen a ghost. Well, he sort of has.

You want to throw yourself into his arms, kiss him, and never let him go. Seeing him knocks the air out of your lungs, which is why you can barely breathe. The two years without him had been hell on earth, but you got through them. For him.

For Spencer, who doesn't take his eyes off you as the blonde woman next to him, whose fingers are intertwined with his, looks at him and asks, "Honey, who's that?"

- tags -

@obsssedwithjustaboutanything // @ashwarren32 // @slytherinbth // @rexorangecouny // @candlemouse // @lexymoniqu // @m3sml // @username2002 // @calliecookie // @haylaansmi // @thehuntresswolf // @skyslowalking // @padsfirewhisky // @criminalminds4days // @criminallyoddsocks // @takeyourleap-of-faith // @vladsgirlxx // @justdianaz // @x2moonlight2x-blog // @countingthestarsinfinitely // @box-of-fandom-stuff // @sergeantbuckybarnes // @princesssmooshie // @sassiest-politician // @ littledm2000 // @a-broken-pact // @strawberry-tea // @sassy-hades // @danrad-rdj4ever // @takeyourleap-of-faith // @smell-my-twisted-shadows // @poeticsassandtrash // @wintrrrsoldier // @peaceluvnirvana // @jemimah-b99 // @lokislilslut // @advicefromnixxxx // @panicattheeverywherekid // @my-guilty-pleasures--of-life // @itsdars @pjmjams // @imagine-this-motherfucker // @sasbb23 // @fivedicksinatrenchcoat // @missyoumaybank // @blameitonthenight21 // @s-r-16 // @knee-coall // @hamlewis // @twodirtymindedgirls // @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness // @imdefinitelyfloating // @crazyloca06 // @gardenroses1 // @saspencereid // @enchantedlove90 // @sizzlingclamturtlesludge // @moondustmemories // @bambi-is-my-name // @beg0neth0t420 // @william-shookespeare // @pancake2603 // @ayo-cowbelly // @herbstmelody // @frnks-stuff // @mimischaos // @lilxnvm // @archiveofadragon // @burnin-passion // @oddobsessionbutotay // @chaoticdreamsss // @ghostly-ginger // @knittingstudyblr // @gorbagreb // @biafbunny // @ayo-cowbelly // @ellyseveronica // @saspencereid // @takethee // @ethereal-stark // @shirayuki1204 // @spencerreidspp // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @stinkykay // @exzidss // @ifuckinghatepinapples // @youhaveabadconnection // @kaseyjohnson04 // @vampiracontessa // @princesssmooshie // @gardenroses1 // @r0s3mm // @willyoulovemeinthemorning // @rrtxcmt // @softpeteparker // @littleiswhattheycallme // @hoeyadoingbitch // @emmariexx // @oops-all-ajs / @reidemandweep // @oliwisstephhh // @g0lden-cth // @measure-in-pain // @amesandpineapples // @spencerreidat3am //

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid series #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds #criminal minds one shot #Emily Prentiss #tara lewis #Jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner

[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things-A New Home

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

a/n: this is a repost considering it didn’t show up in any of the tags yesterday. have i mentioned how much i despise tumblr sometimes :) again, i want to give a special shoutout to @avengersbau for giving me a second set of eyes on this one.

word count: 2k

warnings: canon-typical violence and descriptions of injury.

The Purest Things Masterlist

gif is not mine! credit goes to @hqtchner

au! october 2007

Bookend: “It’s never too late to become who you want to be. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

++++

"I am SSA Hotchner. Welcome to the team Agent Y/L/N," his voice reminds you of the transatlantic accents of Hollywood stars of old. The kind you used to hear in the old black and white movies you would watch as a child.

"It's an honor to be here sir," you stare directly into his brown, soulfully deep eyes.

"J.J., get us started, please," SSA Hotchner suggests.

Sitting down, you look to the screen that displays the frightful footage of bombs detonating in various locations.

"Yesterday, an 81-year-old woman was severely injured when a bomb exploded in the toilet of a women's restroom," J.J. informs.

"Interesting spot to hide a bomb," Agent Prentiss sneers.

Jennifer flips through the slides and shows another bombsight located in a subway station, "Last year a similar bomb that had been attached to a phone box detonated. No outstanding injuries were reported. However, the bombs' similar makeup alerted detectives to dig into other bombings throughout the years. They have positively identified attacks over the past twelve years as perpetrated by the same bomber."

Spencer adds, "His M.O. is similar to George Peter Metesky, better known as the Mad Bomber. He terrorized New York City over a period of 16 years. He planted bombs in theaters, subway stations, libraries, and offices. They were left in phone booths, storage lockers and restrooms."

"Do you think we are looking at a copycat?" Derek questions.

"If we are, we need to stop him soon," declared David.

"He's escalating-becoming bolder and more vicious," you say, scanning the report.

"Tell Boston we can be there by 9:30," Hotch notifies J.J...

++++

"It seems like he's a textbook paranoid schizophrenic. People suffering from this disorder may think that other people are regulating them or plotting against them. They tend to be reclusive, antisocial, and obsessed Hwith hatred for their presumed enemies," you twist a loose string from your shirt around your finger, unwind it, then repeat the process.

It's a nervous tick you developed over the years that has worn down numerous tops before achieving their intended lifespan. You glance at Agent Hotchner, seeking a sign of approval. His eyes meet yours, and he poignantly nods.

Did I say too much? No. Don’t overthink this. They can probably smell fear.

"In his letters left at the bombsights, he uses words like 'broad' and 'chick' to signify women," Dr. Reid chimes in.

"Do you think the unsub is motivated by hostility towards women? "

"It's possible," he continues, "These speech patterns age him significantly, however. Phrases such as these were mainly used in the 30's, 40's, and 50's."

Agent Hotchner begins to delegate tasks before the jet lands, "Morgan and Reid, I want you to head to the bombsights and see if you can't work out the motive. J.J. and Prentiss talk to the victim's families, determine our victimology. Y/L/N, Rossi, and I will head to the precinct and familiarize ourselves with the lay of the land and see if we can't formulate a geographical profile."

++++

At the precinct, you observe Agent Hotchner's ability to singlehandedly transition an entire police force's obligation to under his jurisdiction.

"Captain Moreno, this is SSA David Rossi and SSA Y/F/N Y/L/N," the Unit Chief introduces you.

The captain tilts his head at you, "Aren't you a little young to be in the FBI? How old are you anyway?"

You nail him with a you're-full-of-crap look. 

Everyone gets to be young once; your turn is over, old man.

Choosing to take the high road, you say, "I'd like to get my hands on the bombers handwritten notes. There has to be something in those letters that can give us a clue into the who, what, when, and where of this case."

Skeptical of your request, he narrows his eyes and looks to David and Agent Hotchner.

"You hear her," Dave exclaims, "Lead the way!"

Your enigmatic smirk no doubt gives away the great pleasure Dave's gibe brings you.

++++

"Agent Hotchner," you hand him your preliminary geographical profile. With his arms crossed, he intimidatingly peers into your research.

Don't burn a hole in my paperwork; I worked hard on that.

He is impressed by your work, taking in your comprehensive outline of proof that details the unsubs point of origin. For someone so young, your attention to detail puts even his most observant profilers to shame. "How did you come to this conclusion?"

"My family is from Chicago. When I was little, I used to read through my grandfather's old newspapers that he collected throughout the 1950's. On the jet, I knew some of the phrasings that Dr. Reid was using sounded familiar, so I cross-referenced it with some of the particular articles I remember from my childhood and found his wording to be exact iterations of the Chicago Crier."

Without taking his eyes off of the paperwork, he commends you, "Impressive use of your prior knowledge. Often, the information drilled into us through education is lackluster compared to that of real-world experience."

You turn to walk back to your makeshift desk when he calls out to you, "And Y/L/N, call me Hotch."

Your shoulders relax from the tension you hadn't even realized you'd been clinging onto, "Alright. Hotch."

++++

You immediately regretted your decision. In pursuit of the unsub, you had wandered off down an abandoned subway tunnel and cornered him.

"Harold Watts, FBI. Gently place the remote detonator on the ground," You shout. Grappling to keep your gun from slipping between your clammy palms, you grip the weapon tighter.

Ordinary people's first days of work are uneventful; they're given a series of mundane tasks at most. Me? Of course, my first day involves being secluded in a subway tunnel facing down a man decked from head to toe in explosives and wires.

"D-don't come any closer. I have my finger on the trigger! I'm not afraid to die, and I will not hesitate to take you up in flames with me," he stammers.

The stampede of footsteps, no doubt from your colleagues and half of the Boston police force, resonate through the echo chamber you're standing in. Watts spooks and loses his balance. You begin shouting for the people behind you to stand down.

"The tracks are live, one wrong step, and we all blow up. I repeat, stand down!"

Turning your attention back to Watts, you attempt to soothe his irrationality. You slowly return your gun to its holster, raising your hands up in surrender. Hotch yells something unintelligible from behind you, but your focus is on the unsub and trying to prevent any more casualties.

"Harold, let's just talk this through for a couple of minutes. My men behind me will leave us alone. It's you and me now. Before this, you never wanted to hurt yourself. You wanted to be heard. All of your life you felt like you were forced into the shadows, and you began to fester there in your pain and rage."

He tenses up; you have his attention now.

"Those girls who teased you and ripped your masculinity from you needed to be taught a lesson. But you didn't just stop there; you decided to do all women a favor and demonstrate to them the kind of pain they could cause, hoping to prevent them from making the same mistakes. In fact, you helped me to see what I can do better. I never want to make someone feel the way you did."

"Y-you learned that...f-from me?" Harold quietly sobs.

You nod, "Yes! Yes, Harold. And you can still be heard, but not if you die today. I could be your greatest advocate. If we walk out of here right now, think of how famous you could be. Harold, you will never be stuck in the shadows again."

It is crucial to your survival and your teams that you are brave just long enough to analyze the situation and keep your self-control. Panic won't do anyone any good right now.

Your mouth dries as you await Harold's next move. Suddenly, he hunches over, extending the hand gripping the detonator. Pausing for a moment to be sure he isn't making any drastic moves, you promptly hurry to his side and gently pull it from his clutch.

As the police officers and your colleagues rush to your aid, Harold looks up at you with hopeful eyes.

"Make me famous," he murmurs with a grin that churns your stomach.

Hotch ushers you away from the unsub, backing you up against the wall of the tunnel, "You actively defied my orders."

Searching every inch of his face for an accurate reading of his emotions, you are unsure of how to respond.

"I'd like to think it won't happen again," his eyes studying you just as intently.

You swallow hard, aware of the lump in your throat and take a deep breath, "You have my word, Agent Hotchner."

"Good," he affirms, eventually freeing his hold on your arm.

You let out a shaky sigh of relief and relax your spinning head against the wall.

Opening your eyes, you observe your new team tieing up all loose ends. They're safe. You are safe. Despite this first day not being as mundane as others, you wouldn't have it any other way. This feeling is what you signed up for, and it's already fulfilling you in ways you couldn't fathom before stepping inside the BAU office this morning.

++++

Aboard the jet, you tuck your legs underneath you and open up a book to read.

A cup of steaming hot coffee appears on the table in front of you.

Hotch sits across from you with a similar cup and offers you a subtle smile, "Impressive work out there today. I'm sorry your first day of work couldn't be more eventful."

A joke? I didn't take him as the joking kind.

Rolling your eyes, you put on a disappointed tone, "God...if you guys drag your feet like this every day, I might have to consider a transfer."

In a more serious nature, he asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess. You were right, you know, no amount of studying or lectures can truly prepare you for what it's like when you're staring into the eyes of a killer. I've learned the negotiation techniques and memorized the textbook 'put the gun down' speech, but all of that flies out the window when you're in the moment."

"You will find that improvisation at times is the key to success in this job. Just know that this team is a family. You will never face this alone or be at a loss for anything. Your career is in its infancy, but I can tell you have a long and triumphant journey ahead of you. We will do whatever we can to ensure that you are at home here and can use this team as an opportunity to refine your abilities. All I ask in return is that you work with us, not against us. You have nothing to prove. They see your resourcefulness. So do I. You are one of us now."

Some gazes are the promise of protection; his is all that and more. The words "at home" resonate in your mind. You've spent your whole life searching for a home, and here it is, its doors being opened to you. After a lifetime of running from place to place, perhaps this is where you can finally settle down.

"Get some rest," Hotch whispers to you. And with that, you lean your head against the chilled window and shut your eyes.

++++

Tag List 🏷

@chellybear98​ @destiny-tsukino​ @wanniiieeee​ @sweetiecake180 @vampiracontessa @weexinling​ @spaghetti-dad187 @hothskies @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @mac99martin​ @clairedragonessbaker @cecemariee7302​ @halloweenwithreid @megans-txmblr @theoldestguard @purpledragonturtles​ @chazubagi @frogrrylovebot @agentaaronhotass​ @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @mcntsee @ssagube @softhetixx @kenzies-mr-j @peachyotps @cat11-2 @prettylittlemoonlight @ravenmoore14 @gubs-boobs @spencerreidsoulmate @totalmess191 @hopelesslylosttheway @britishspidey @kyliesalvatore

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #spencer reid #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds reader insert #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner series #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner headcanon #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x fem!reader #hotch x y/n #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch x oc #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds headcanons #spencer x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

[thebadbatch]

The Bad Batch - Oneshot requests

Requests = On Hold.

//You can still put requests in and they will be written! But I will take a little time getting to them! I just got my first job! (yay! Bad Batch merch here I come-) So things may be a little chaos until I get into a routine of when I can write etc! :3 Ily all so much and I love your requests! So don't be afraid to ask away! Each time there's a request I'll add it to a specific writing list I use and I'll write them in order of asks :3 Tysm for your patience!//

To request you can leave a message and i'll happily customize it to how you want if none of these prompts are something you want to read! But if theres something here you'd like to read, even a mixture of options, then i'll happily write that for you! :) Don't forget to add the pronouns you'd like me to use! If they aren't Specified then i'll use they /them! :D As many Characters you want can be included in the oneshot! And any prompt can be used within whatever category you'd like - just specify. :3

//Unfortunately I do not write smut! This may change in the future but until then I'm unable to write it!//

Characters

Hunter

Tech

Crosshair

Echo

Wrecker

Omega

Rex

Prompts - Romance

It's you! It's always been you.

What do you mean you're out drunk? Why do I have to get you!

I need you here with me.

I'm busy but anything for you, Meshla.

Stay with me!

Kisses in the rain

Cooking and romance

Sightsee with me

I'm falling for you, y/n.

You still need me, right?

Marry me

I want you to be mine, just mine - nobody else's.

What if I woke up and you were no longer here?

First date

I'll protect you until my last breath, Mesh'la.

Prompts - Sad

You can't leave me!/Oh yeah? Watch me!

Our final moments

I'm afraid you'll break

You died in my arms, never again

Why not me?

Kill me but please leave y/n.

Why can't you just leave me!

Loosing you is the worst pain i've ever felt.

Where do your loyalties lie?

I can't live without you so I wont live.

Prompts - Angry/Jealousy/Protective

Why are you talking to those regs?

Just be mine! Not theirs!

I'm sick of you leaving me.

Do you want me or them?

Never disobey my orders again.

What makes you think they love you more then I do?

Stay with me, Kriff them!

What did you say about y/n?

Back away from y/n or I swear to maker you wont live to see tomorrow.

Let me take care of y/n, I know what to do unlike you.

If I catch the people who did this to you, and I will, I'll make them kriffing pay.

Back away from y/n, now.

Why do you keep leaving me?

Let me protect you for once.

I can't handle the thought of another person loving you.

This is just a scratch i'm fine!/This isnt just a scratch y/n!

I could have lost you.

Prompts - Fluff

Please, just hold me for awhile?

There are billions of stars, but you're my favourite.

I'm afraid of storms

I don't feel too well

I'm feeling down

Make me smile?

Let's explore!

I cant stop Crying

I cant Sleep

Prompts - Scenarios

Drunk

Unwell

Hurt

In love

Storms

Nightmares

Anxious

Upset

Day out

Night out

Arguments

In danger

Mission gone wrong

Birthday

Anniversary

Random

#Prompts #the bad batch #bad batch #Clone Force 99 #x reader #Hunter #Crosshair #Tech #Echo #Wrecker

[desertofsnowflakes]

Incorrect Order Chapter 6 (Nessian AU)

A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't been updated in more than two weeks. I had exams :/ Also, do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: Language

1572 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smile Cassian plastered on his face didn’t reach his eyes. His brothers saw that. Feyre and Elain saw that. Mor and Amren knew that. He himself did. But they didn’t say anything. If it weren’t Feyre’s anniversary, he would’ve even gone home. He couldn’t though. He wouldn’t do anything that would hurt his family. So he stayed. Smiled. Joked. Laughed. Did everything he could to keep his mind from straying to a grey-eyed masterpiece.

Az and Rhys saw, he knew. They always seemed to realise everything about each other. Even if one of them had a minor headache, the other two would know. Tonight, however, none of them pushed him. They probably thought he wanted to be alone. But did he? Truly?

He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to be alone. That would make memories of their lunch rise. Of her shirt splattered with coffee on one day and blood on another. Of her pale form laying on his bed. Of her, enjoying his food. Of their shared jokes. He didn’t think he could take that.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to be around people either. He didn’t know if he could stay around people who laughed and teased. He didn’t know if he could laugh with them and actually mean it. He didn’t know if he could anytime soon.

Cass glanced at the clock. 3.00 a.m. He smiled. Whenever they gathered around in the living room, retiring early was totally off the table. The earliest they dispersed was four in the morning.

To his right, Rhys sighed. “It’s late,” he said, tucking Feyre close to his side. “Gotta go to bed.”

He smirked, but held back the joke on the tip of his tongue. After a chorus of goodnights, Rhys and Feyre told them they could stay here tonight if they wanted to and rose to go upstairs. Feyre laughed at something Rhys said and Cass felt a pang of sadness hit him.

Sadness… and something else. He knew he shouldn’t, but he envied the both of them. How easily they bantered and teased. How smooth their relationship was. He remembered how Feyre locked herself in the cabin after Rhys proposed. He remembered how she asked Mor not to let anyone in, especially Rhys. He sighed. He felt an amount of the jealousy dissipate. Probably Nesta would get together with him after their slight misunderstanding passed. If it did.

He got up to leave when Az stopped him. “You sure you’re going back?” Cass didn’t remember telling Az that he was going back. Then again he didn't need to. Az always saw everything. “You're not that… somber.”

Ah. Cass smiled. “I'll be fine, ” he reassured. Az still didn't let him go. “I'll send you a text once I'm home,” he tried. Az sighed.

“I'll be waiting for it.”

Cass looked at Mor, drunk and blabbering before stepping out of the house. He kept replaying that memory till he reached home, keeping his mind occupied. He was scared of what would happen if he kept his thoughts idle.

He informed Az that he reached home. He didn't know why going back home felt like preparing for a battle. It probably was a battle. Between her and his self-restraint. What was at stake here was his sanity. Cass sighed. He stepped in through the threshold and welcomed the darkness that enveloped him.

***

Stop crying like a baby, Nesta repeatedly reminded herself. Why should she cry? Nothing here was her fault. Nothing.

Not the fact that she let his charmed smiles bring her guards down. Not the fact that she felt alive when he said something stupidly funny. Certainly not the fact that she was slowly falling for him.

None of it was her fault. So why should she cry? Why should she stop herself from attending her own sister's anniversary? When it was all his fault.

She shouldn't be crying. She should be thinking about ways of exploiting his weaknesses. She should think about how she would portray him as the weak one. She should think about how she was going to make him regret everything.

But how could she make him regret it when she never regretted a second of it? She hated that this was where her thoughts went first. To scheming and plotting. She thought she changed. Did she regret her wish to be good? No. She reveled in it. No, she vowed herself, I would not scheme to make him beg. I'm not that Nesta anymore. I'll never be.

She was proud of herself. She never realised her self restraint was this good.

But apparently not good enough. Her thoughts drifted back to him. No, not him. Cassian. Cauldron, it'll take some time to get used to calling him Cassian. Or maybe Cass. Feyre and Rhysand called him that. Probably she would too. She thought about what he called her. Nes. She flushed. That stupid name did stupid things to her. She pretended she didn't like it. In fact, she loved it. Somehow, she wasn't ready to tell him that yet.

***

Nesta blinked open her eyes against the morning light. Her eyes were closed? It was morning already? Huh.

It took her some time for her eyes to adjust. She screamed at what she saw. Nesta scrambled back from the looming figure of Tomas, leering at her face.

“Nesta, Nesta, ” he said in his eerie voice. It became scarier with his sing-song tone. “My Nesta.” He paused. “Though I suppose you aren't mine anymore. You were still mine last time, you know. When you handed me over to the police. ”

She bared her teeth, opened her mouth to say something when his hand closed around her throat.

“But now, I suppose I can't call you mine anymore, can I? That reminds me. Where is your bodyguard? Or is that brute your boyfriend?” He spat the last word. His hand tightened around her neck.

“Do you know what he did to me? Your bastard. Did you know how he threatened me? Did you know that he smashed my bones, that it took me this long to heal?”

Some sort of savage satisfaction filled her. The fact that Cassian did all this… she smirked. It didn't go unnoticed by Tomas. He growled, the sound sending icy fingers ghosting down her spine. She hoped she didn't have to hear it again.

His hand around her throat pushed her farther back on the bed. He drew back, she let loose a relieved breath. A mistake.

His hand cracked on her cheek. He came infinitely closer to her, his hot, rancid breath glancing off her cheeks. His hand kept tightening around her throat and she wondered how she wasn’t dead yet. It was certainly bruised now.

“Look at you. So vulnerable. So killable. I’ve imagined how I would slit your throat. So many ideas. If only I could kill you in all the ways I imagined. But do you know what is the best way I could kill you?”

Nesta let him talk. He loved to hear himself talk. She subtly looked around her room, searching for anything she could use as a weapon. She looked back at Tomas. He wasn’t talking. Did he ask her a question?

“Tell me, Nesta. Do you know what is the best way to kill you?” Nesta shook her head, his hand pressed around her throat. Tomas smiled. She cringed mentally.

“I think the best way to kill you and make it hurt is to kill you slowly. You know what makes it better? Having that bastard watch you die. Let him watch the life seep out of you. And then I’ll kill him too.” he said and she felt the room closing in. Panic was slowly rising in her.

“Now, now,” he said. She supposed he meant to be cajoling but the effect his voice gave was the exact opposite. “There’s no need to panic. I told you I’ll kill you only when your bodyguard is there.”

He pulled out a knife. She gasped and pain erupted around her throat. Her lungs were burning.

“But darling,” he said. She whimpered. She hated this. She hated that she was vulnerable here. She hated that she couldn’t do anything when her death was slowly nearing. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Then his knife struck. Nothing hurt at first. Then, fiery pain whipped through her, beginning at her arm. She screamed. Pain. There was so much pain. She screamed so loud she pondered how the whole neighborhood didn’t hear anything.

***

Nesta gasped. Her eyes darted through her room. Nothing. No one. She looked at her arm. No pain. No scars. No blood. She touched her throat. It wasn’t sore. It wasn’t swollen. She got out of bed and looked at her mirror. No bruises. She let out a frustrated sound. It was a dream. A fucking dream. Or she supposed it was a nightmare. Still. It wasn’t real.

It was still five in the morning. Still quite early. She released a breath. She wouldn’t find a cab now but she could walk. It wasn’t that far. She fixed her hair and changed her clothes. She wasn’t going because she missed him. She just didn’t want to be vulnerable again. That’s all. She just wanted to know how to defend herself. Nothing else. So Nesta went to Cassian’s house, hoping that she’s making the right choice.

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[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

Vulnerable [chapt. 1/2]

[2012 Leo x reader]

Based off of a request from an Anon: "A reader who is good at archery?" and the art is in fact mine, signature in the corner.

Leonardo grimaced as he walked. On his bad leg he still limped a bit, but he no longer was so dependent on his crutches. Every step was a twinge of pain in his knee, but he continued, bow in hand and looking for prey. The rest of the team was back at the farmhouse—he wanted to do this alone. He needed to do something. For himself and everyone else. 

He crept along the forest floor, senses hyper-aware of all of the things around him, as with his injured leg, he felt vulnerable. He jumped when a bird shot out of a tree nearby with another one hot on its tail feathers. When had he become so easy to start? Of course, as a ninja, he was trained to be skeptical. Aware. But he'd never felt so jumpy as he did after coming out of his coma, his throat wrecked and his knee in just as bad a condition. He took in a deep breath, then released it. Focus. 

He definitely felt like he was being watched. He was in a sea of trees and bush, wandering and out of his element, having come from the city. It was such a jarring change to have been struck down in a construction site on that frightening day, only to wake up three months later in a quaint farmhouse outside of New York City. His stomach churned slightly recalling what he could remember from his encounter with the Shredder and the wave after wave of Foot Bots. The cold rain, and their mortal enemy's imposing figure stood above him before going in for the kill. He shook himself of those thoughts—not now. Today was sunny. He had to look around him for a second as if to assure that there was light shrouding everything. That there were no shadows to hide in. Shifting his footing, his knee suddenly jerked forward and sent a shot up pain up his leg. He had to resist making noise, but in that moment, a shudder ran down his spine. The sheer pain, he remembered, of the Shredder's blades catching his neck. The trauma to his knee. He didn't know when he'd started breathing heavily, still and partially leaning on his bow. When would he ever be able to recall that day without it shaking him so deeply? Would the memories hit him during his next and inevitable meeting with Shredder? 

But he couldn't think about that now, not as he heard rustling in the brush ahead of him. He stilled. Crouching, he took to the large trunk of an oak and hid behind it, peering around the corner to catch a glimpse of what he was hearing. It sounded big; likely a deer. As long as he didn't engage with a buck and his fearsome rack of antlers, he would be okay. His knee ached as he kneeled there. No sudden movements, he reminded himself. 

He looked around the side of the tree and saw it. A tall, proud buck and his air of regality, eating from a plant and seemingly unaware of Leo's presence. This was his chance to make himself useful. To stick it to his cursed leg that he wouldn't let it stop him. 

Rising as slowly and quietly as he could, he lifted his bow and drew an arrow. He had to find the perfect moment. But he also couldn't wait too long, otherwise he would lose the animal. The buck paused his meal and looked up, smelling the air. He ducked back behind the tree when it actually turned its head toward him, almost as if in acknowledgement. But deer's eyes didn't face forwards—if it were looking for a threat, it would have turned its head. Ignoring that detail, Leo knew it would get his scent quickly, so there was not much time to waste as he aimed, shooting for something vital. The buck stiffened, readying to bound off. He was just about to let loose the arrow when he blinked, and suddenly, there was nothing. The buck was gone, the clearing was empty, and he was extremely confused. He stood up, letting down his bow as he stepped out from behind the tree and looked around him. It had been there one moment, gone the next. 

He jolted when a twig snapped behind him. He spun around, arrow ready to fire. Standing only but a few feet away was the large creature looking down at him, and in his surprise, Leo hesitated. He wasn't sure what to do beside lower his weapon, eyes fixated on the impressive antlers the buck donned. Those could deliver a fierce blow. 

He was backing away, opting to ditch the effort and try again another time, because the animal was certainly strong. And not with his bad leg could he defend himself as much as he would have liked—but unnaturally fast, the buck charged forward anyway. Heart pumping, Leo gasped and drew his arrow, trying to get a clear shot on the animal as it vanished around him, disappearing behind trees, reappearing elsewhere, running at him from every which way. He let out a loud grunt when he was struck in the abdomen by it, disoriented and trying to gain his footing. He tried to dodge the oncoming attack, but his knee buckled, and he fell to the ground against the mossy trunk of a massive tree. His bow was dropped elsewhere. In a last resort, he swiped his knife from his belt, eyes flitting about. He expected another blow from the strange animal, but nothing came. He was left in shock sitting there as he regained his composure, only noticing the buck out of the corner of his eye one last time. 

He watched it, brow ridge furrowed intensely as he got up and snatched his bow from the ground. The buck only stared back, his reaching presence making an imprint in Leo's mind. He knew then that there was something else to this. He had no idea, not even a clue, of where to start with it. But the creature sauntered further into the trees, disappearing into the thicket. 

"What was that?" he muttered to himself, unable to look away from where he'd last seen it. 

He returned to the farmhouse later that night, meeting you at the front porch when he dragged himself up there. His knee was irritated to all hell from the exertion, and you could tell, too; he favored his good leg when he stepped, wincing as he came over. It was then that you noticed he looked a little more rough than you'd originally thought. 

"Leo?" you said, meeting him at the stairs. He tried to give you a smile, but it was obvious he was absolutely beat, his leg was hurting, and overall, not in a good way. "Are you okay? What happened out there?" 

You helped him up the steps with an arm around him, supporting his heavy weight as he made his way into the house. He groaned, a little shameful, "I got attacked by a...deer."

He left his bow and quiver at the door. A deer? You gave him a questioning look, and he continued, "Yeah, a deer. Like with the antlers. It came at me when it realized I was there. I've never seen something move so fast." 

You were going to help him to the couch, but he shrugged your arm off with a sheepish smile, getting there himself. You sat down next to him. "So, an angry buck?" you asked. He nodded. "Weird...it's not mating season. Usually, they aren't so aggressive." 

"Well, this one was," he said, "and I know this is going to sound weird, but…" 

He knew it would be hard to explain why he suspected this was something otherworldly, due to the teleporting. He'd seen it clearly with his own two eyes. Still, it was just as confusing to him to think about as it would have been for you to hear.

"Wait, how do you know that?" he inquired. He looked over at you, blue eyes falling on yours. 

You chuckled, "My dad was into hunting, so I picked up some stuff as a kid. You learn that pretty early on; the antlers on those things can really tear you up. Though...you're lucky for having natural armor." Gesturing toward his bow and arrow, you bumped his shoulder with your own. "I'd say I'm good with one of those." 

Leo quirked his brow, curious for you to go on. He didn't doubt your statement one bit; he'd seen how you watched him practice, how sometimes, he'd catch you idly running your hand along the curves of the bow. "How good would you say you are?" 

Grinning, you padded across the room and got his bow, drawing back the string experimentally. It had been a while. You threw a glance back at him over your shoulder. "Fairly," you replied, setting it down. "I think my parents started me out when I was twelve or so. With one of those kiddie bows, the ones that are easy to pull back? I'm no master, but maybe...I could come out and help you next time? I don't think any of us should be going out alone, anyway, especially you with your…"

He noticed your eyes had fallen on his injured leg. 

"Uh, hold on. I'm not an invalid, [y/n]." 

He didn't want to be snappish, but the last part irked him a little. He could handle himself out there. How well he could was a different story, but nonetheless, he felt weirdly infantile hearing that. It should have been him telling you that and offering to help, not the other way around. 

Damn his leg. 

Still, he knew he had to swallow his pride, for now. He really was in no shape to be wandering the woods on his own. He also noticed that it was a great opportunity to bond with you more without everyone around to overanalyze it. 

"You know, I...I appreciate it. I know you're just trying to help." He tried to hide the disappointment he was feeling with himself, but it was easily replaced by more positive prospects. He hadn't ever spent that much time with you alone, as they were always going, going, going. The farmhouse and surrounding woods was a slow change of pace—a good change of pace. But even then, he still couldn't always get away from everyone else, especially Mikey and Casey. "What do you say we go out tomorrow?" 

You nodded, "I say it's a date!" 

"Y–yeah," He laughed, looking down at the floor. "It's a...yeah. I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight, [y/n]." 

"Night," you said as he headed up the stairs. 

Mind on the kitchen for a drink before you went to bed yourself, you were slightly surprised to see April there, leaning against the counter with a curious smile on her face. "Oh, hey, April," you mumbled, reaching past her for a glass. 

"Hey," she cooed, "so, a date, huh?" A knowing grin crossed her face, along with that twinkle in her eye she got any time something like this came up. 

Face beginning to flush, you chuckled awkwardly as you filled up your glass from the tap. "Uh, it's more like a...it's not really a date. I just said that. For some reason. We're gonna go out into the woods and scope it out for a little bit." You glanced out of the corner of your eye and saw her sat at the kitchen table, patting the chair next to her. A date? Like that? No. In fact, he was likely offended to some degree that you even proposed helping him out. Not with how sensitive he was about his knee, lately, which was a hindrance to him. But you wanted to help, that's what friends were for. And maybe spending some time away from the antics of his brothers and Casey wasn't such a bad idea, either…

You were going to slip out of the kitchen, but April was set on getting the details. "Come on, girl talk!" she said, low enough so no one else would hear, but you could hear the excitement in her voice. "Did he get embarrassed? Oh, what about bringing lunch? Like a picnic, in the woods," she suggested, clasping her hands. "Quiet, away from you-know-who. It would be nice!" 

"Okay, okay, slow down there," you said. You took a seat next to her and looked behind you into the living room to make sure there wasn't anyone there, then added, "You see, I don't know for sure…" 

...if Leo felt the same way. There was a hunch, but that wouldn't do—you couldn't go off of a mere inkling, lest you ruin good friendship turning things weird. You liked him. How obvious it was, you didn't know, but you never tried to show it on purpose. 

April noticed the uncertainty of your expression and put her hand on yours in your lap. She could feel your hesitance over the subject. "You're worried that he doesn't feel the same way about you," she stated softly. "Is that it?" 

"In short," you answered with a small shrug as you kept your gaze on the edge of the table. 

She tilted her head in thought, humming to herself. "Well, I think you should go for it, if that's how you feel." 

Looking up at her, you inquired, "What if it makes things awkward between us?" That was the last thing you wanted. 

"I think Leo might have a crush on you," she said finally. "Of course, I can't tell you definitely, but...it's just the vibe he gives me."

Your heart fluttered. April's intuition had always seemed pretty on point; you trusted her judgement more often than not. The question was, did you have the guts to come out with it to him, or would it be another time gone past? Hung up on her words, you blinked. "Do you think so?" you asked honestly. 

She nodded and gave a reassuring smile. "I won't pressure you, but I still think you'll have a great time. I can put together a basket, if you want. We don't have much besides sandwiches, though." April was considerate. It was easy to feel comfortable around her; she was a gentle soul outside of combat, and supportive of yours and everyone else's pursuits (so long as they weren't harmful.) Especially pursuits of love, when they weren't directed at herself. 

You thanked her as you got up, to which she replied that it was no problem. Leo's door was cracked slightly open, you'd found out when you passed by, and inside he was fast asleep. he tended to leave it ajar out of habit; he felt that he needed to be able to hear what was going on in the rest of the house in case something happened, paranoid of ambushes. The only time he wasn't conscious of his bad leg was when he was unconscious, and even then, you had a suspicion that he dreamed about it sometimes. Maybe even had nightmares. You recalled seeing him toss and turn one night while muttering incoherent things after he'd fallen asleep on the couch in the lounge, almost rolling off the side before you decided to wake him. Both the mental and physical wound was fresh at that time, so he panicked himself awake feeling your hand lightly shake his shoulder. He apologized as you tried to help him, instead taking his crutches and left by himself. 

But Leo seemed to be having good dreams, tonight. You stopped just for a moment to watch him through the ajar door, seeing that his face was not tense, he wasn't moving around, and looked to be more at peace than he had in a while. That was all you needed to know.

"He looks pretty calm right now," a voice, Raph's, commented out from the blue next to you. He was leaned against the wall, arms crossed as he watched his sleeping brother. "Last few nights were rough. Wonder what has him all peaceful all of a sudden."

You couldn't mistake Raph's unusually soft disposition, even if he talked as gruffly as always. "Does he have bad dreams about it often?" you questioned him. Both of you knew what you were talking about, the event in New York City that landed them all at the farmhouse to begin with. 

Sighing, he answered with a light scoff, "More like nightmares." For a second, you thought he was annoyed by you asking, but he continued, shaking his head. "This just…I can't stand seein' him like this. Not like this, this, but on those nights he gets nightmares, and the hobbling around…"

"It really sucks."

"Big time." 

A silence fell between the two of you, but it wasn't uncomfortable. You both bonding over your mutual care for Leo and his well-being, brought together by circumstance. Raph went to bed. You did, too, thinking all the way that Leo deserved a good day. A normal-as-could-be day. 

You'd take April up on that picnic idea, you decided. 

——————————————————————

a/n: yeahh i find it difficult to believe Leo wouldn't have some kind of lowkey trauma aside physical after his last encounter with Oroku Saki before the Farmhouse

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt leonardo #tmnt leo #tmnt x reader #short story #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2012 leo #leonardo #fanfiction #tmnt fanfic #fanfic

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 13

first time readers click here 💖

TWs/Summary: In this house, we ship Reader/Tony's Rolls-Royce. Reader and Tony being dorks on a date. That's it that's the chapter. Lots of sass and Tony being Tony.

A question for my readers: Are you still invested? How's the slow burn? Is everything realistic? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

As usual, my beta is @miscmarvelwritings . I love her.

"Nice digs, Cupcake."

"Nice ride, Tin Man."

The sass fell from my lips, warm and familiar, paving the way for our upcoming debut like the old, soft living room rug. Any awkwardness I had expected there to be left the moment I saw Tony pull up to my front gate in his Royce: the man was just that extra. The size of my estate, the five-figure outfit of mine - it paled in comparison to his own clout. 

In a world where my choices were usually distributed between stuck-up rich boys or insecure middle-class men, Tony was a fresh drink of water with his absolute indifference towards my and his own net worth.

I wasn't afraid to admire said ride, either. Being a huge petrolhead was what got me interested in engineering, physics and computer sciences in the first place. The desire for speed grew into thirst for knowledge: how to get more horsepower, how to tune, how to mod. No mechanic took an eighteen year old rich-girl seriously even when I had all the lingo right, I had to be a step ahead, at all times, if I wanted my ride to be the best. And I never settled for less than that.

"No driver?" I inquired for the reason behind the unusual behaviour. After all, a Rolls' wasn't the kind of car you drive personally. All the amenities it had, it had in the back.

"Gave Happy a day off," Tony remarked absently. I noticed the small quirk of his eyebrow, however. He was intrigued.

I decided to give it a shot. "So what, this thing packs, what, about five-fifty horses?" I mused, watching Tony nearly swerve into the opposite lane. "At two and a half tons, it's still gotta be pretty quick with that V12-turbo. How fast it go?" The satisfaction was immeasurable, as pleasant to my soul as sitting in a heated leather chair with the smell of a new car, engine quietly rumbling in front of me. And by quietly I mean, it was focus-or-you'll-miss-it kind of quiet.

"Well aren't you full of surprises, baby girl," Tony grinned; a happy, excited grin even. It made his face lose ten years of age just like that. "Zero to sixty in five and a half seconds," He said after a moment. 

"Not bad," I said, sounding impressed. I already knew that but I wasn't planning on robbing Tony out of well deserved praise for his choice in vehicles. 

"Got a ride of your own?" He asked with a smile, like he didn't know it already. No background check would have skipped my three speeding tickets, but I concur. This game was fun.

"I do, actually. It's a 2008 Range Rover. Supercharged," I added in the end, just to emphasise.

"A big car for such a little girl," Tony whistled playfully.

"I'm compensating," I deadpanned. "I'm a little slow on the uptake, y'know, so my Rangie with five hundred horses makes up for it. Gotta keep it balanced."

Tony chewed on his lip. "Five hundred? Haven't heard about that, it comes with three-ninety-five in stock," His eyebrow wiggled. "Tuned it?" He cast me a contemplative glance.

"Yup," I exclaimed happily. As far as the date, I would have been utterly ecstatic to talk about cars all evening. Screw the boring "where do you see yourself in five years" questions, talk to me about your favourite engine swaps. Concept cars, give me those. Monster trucks? Yes, please. Vintage low-riders? Couldn't wait to get my grubby little hands on one. Gimmee!

Tony kept his silence and kept his press smile starting the moment we set foot on getting out of the car. The place he'd taken me to was ridiculously upscale and fancy; the valet hesitated only for a second before catching the keys Tony so carelessly tossed in his direction. There was almost no fear in his body language when the boy approached the massive, expensive vehicle.

The hostess smiled big at Tony and gave me the world's biggest stink-eye when he looked the other way but what else is new? As soon as she left us in the privacy of our booth, I didn't hesitate to stick my tongue at her retreating back. A brief lapse in maturity, if you will.

Tony cackled, growing suddenly serious. "Did she bother you? I can get her fired. I should get her fired."

"Nah," I shrugged. "Don't really care, just wanted to showcase my amazing sense of humour." Snorting, I gave Tony a wink and a secretive grin.

"You really don't give a fuck, do you," His eyebrows twitched again, a sign of mild interest that I noted during our routine sciencing time together. Tony was incredibly expressive if one took the time to observe.

"I could suck your dick under the table right now," I answered honestly. "It's just that when God gave out things like dignity and shame, I wasn't home. Too many fun things to do, y'know," I spoke as casually as I could even though I was dying of laughter inside.

Eyes bulging, jaw hanging mid-way to the floor. Tony was serving Looks™ and I didn't mean just the white tee and purple blazer combo. "Princess, you're going to be the fucking death of me!" He took a sip from his water glass, smirking.

Finally releasing my mirth, I gathered my hands in a lock in front of me. His own, warm and calloused, reached over - I allowed the brief intimacy, clasping them, fiddling with the leather band of his watch. For a moment, it was just us, sitting in the dim light, discovering each other anew to Robert Johnson singing the blues and NYC bustling with life just behind the wall. 

The waiter took our orders - and if I totally butchered the Italian, Tony was gentleman enough not to make any remarks. 

"Somehow, every time I am with you, you both manage to meet my expectations to a T and surprise me at the same time," I wasn't able to completely ignore my nerves. My hand was still loosely in his and he didn't mind at all, me messing with his watch.

"How so?"

"I'm going to loosely quote someone, bear with me." Mr Davies's words popped into my mind just as I was wondering how to best articulate my feelings. "You're eccentric and interesting because it's, well, it's you, because it would be much weirder if we'd be sitting here and making boring small-talk and asking each other the genetic get-to-know-you questions," I briefly paused to sip my Dom Peringon and stare at our hands. Gathering my wits. "That would be why I don't do dates. It sounds so tedious on paper, just sorting through people until a person that's not absolutely mind-numbing comes around."

Tony was silent for a moment, the sheen of his eyes, the faraway look; he was lost in memories. Probably remembering all the girls he had charmed before. I didn't doubt it was easy for him: his smile was distracting and people usually were attracted to shiny things. He shone plenty. Also, most people were stupid, they never cared to look past the golden wrapper. I was convinced there was a diamond under it. But then again, I was biased.

"I've never thought about it that way, but I guess you're right," He finally said, serious. "With Pepper, at least, it was. Come to think of it, we never had that much in common, besides Stark Industries and her willingness to put up with my shit." It was painful for him to talk about her, that much was obvious. His laugh was forced and sardonic.

I, on the other hand, never understood why they got together in the first place. Or maybe I did - but the cold, composed Pepper and the chaotic, energetic Tony reminded me too much of my own parents. All four people in this fucked up equation could have been much happier if they choose... What? Being alone? That was terrifying, too.

I kept quiet, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"You know, this is so bizarre. Even an eighteen year old kid has got it figured out," He suddenly said, his tone bitter like the coffee that he loved.

"Woah, slow down," I put up a hand. "I never said I know what to do. I just said I know what NOT to do." The 'kid' remark would have made me eye-roll so hard my skull would crack any day. In this context, however, it was pretty spot on.

Tony snorted. "And how did you come by that information, pray tell, Baby?"

I huffed. "Have you met my parents?" We simultaneously cringed and I hurried to erase that mental image. "I make fun of myself for being into old dudes all the time," I made air quotes around the phrase that made Tony scoff, "But, honestly speaking, I've never even been on a date. Like a real one. Usually it's twenty minutes and I'm falling asleep mid-conversation. People can't seem to keep up with me or something," I felt genuinely dejected. "So many meaningless questions, so many downright idiotic comments. From men," I pointed out the obvious. "My mother used to tell me she thought I was gay because I didn't act like a girl... Whatever that means."

"That sounds pretty shitty," Tony was studying me like one would have been looking at an exotic animal in a zoo. "That said, I agree."

"That I don't act like a girl?" I teased him, the left corner of my mouth tilting upward. "Fuck that noise. I want to drive fast cars, drink straight liquor and have orgasms. If that makes me a dude... I look pretty good for a dude in a dress."

We laughed in unison, tension evaporating under the shared, mutual understanding. With Tony, it was easy. The waiter brought our selected dishes. Blink-and-he's-gone. Top notch service.

"A dude in a dress, can't say I'm surprised 'bout your lack of dates," He remarked conversationally, happily digging into his food. The noises he made were intriguing, to say the least, and I followed suit on my own food, finding it absolutely delicious. A delicious meal with a delicious man at my side. I refused to feel guilty about my thoughts.

"I guess I have exactly one (1) date on my ledger now," I raised my argument.

The fork clattered as Tony once again, came to a sudden realization. "Holy shit, you weren't kidding."

"No shit," I gave into the urge to roll my eyes. "But on the upside, my first date was with the most gorgeous, intelligent and witty bachelor of the city. I'd say I don't have it all that bad," I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Aw, you're making me blush," Tony recovered quickly, grinning. "And don't be shy. The most desired bachelor of the country, if not the world."

I shook my head. "No, the world's most delectable bachelor is one of the Saudi princes. What's-his-name, the one who posts goat and horse pics on Insta," I snapped my fingers a couple of times, trying to remember the name as Tony looked at me all offended. "Anyways, you get my point. I could have a go at him, don't you think?" Cocking my shoulder, coyly twirling the strap of my dress, I gave Tony my best come-hither look and was rewarded with an appreciative once-over. His eyes were growing hungry again. 

"You're a million dollar baby," He finally said, voice low. "And the extent of people I would be willing to share you with is very small."

That got me interested, sudden heat prickling underneath my skin. The conversation took a turn I didn't expect it to; and there lied the delight of being around Tony. He was always ready to surprise, in the best way. "Tell me," I requested politely.

"That's a conversation for another time," He was enjoying the chit-chat, desire beginning to creep into his features.

"Mmm, you think?" I allowed the strap of my dress to slip down my shoulder, exposing a collarbone, showing him just how far I was willing to go to satisfy my curiosity.

He swallowed audibly. "I think... You're smart enough to figure it out," He finally gritted his teeth, finishing off his dinner and immediately calling for the check. 

I wasn't done yet, however. The possibility of riling him up, taunting him into a lustful frenzy - I was in heaven. Karma had favoured me that evening, it had given me a chance to get Tony back for all the times he unknowingly made my mouth water and my brain go blip. "Must be Steve then," I bit my lip in thought. 

Honestly? I was as clueless as the couple next table over. Steve it wasn't, that much I knew for sure, he and Tony had their little love/hate dramatic connection that always ended in a massive ego standoff. Tony would be on the frontline fighting against Steve if the blonde dared to show anything even remotely resembling romantic interest towards someone Tony himself had his eyes on.

"Princess," Tony growled, sarcastically raising an eyebrow.

"Not Steve," I replied, cracking a smile. Success! "You know, I'm really bad at guessing who's into me. Unless someone is balls deep in me," My face was mere inches away as we quickly shrugged on our coats. "And even then, I can't be sure."

My giggling was accompanied by Tony shaking his head in exasperated fashion; he took my hand nonetheless and I happily swayed it between us, poster child for "not a care in the world". He allowed it, maintaining the same exasperated air about him, and I let him. Fondness and happiness seeped through that anyways.

"Brat," His voice was kind. And his kiss tingled where he left it on the corner of my mouth, sweet and short. "Here, have a go," Before I could react, the keys to his Rolls Royce were placed in my palm and he was making his way around the car to the passenger's side.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway (it finally let me tag you)! @softie-socks @schemefrenzy

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #party favours #bun writes

[spencers-dria]

Light Amongst the Darkness

Ch. 13 of Someone to Stay

Spencer Reid x fem reader

POV: Spencer

I wake up for the third time this morning as a technician comes in the room to take my vital signs. It seems like it's always something, labs, vital signs, or medicine. I look over to see Y/N curled up on the couch, sleeping soundly. She really could sleep through just about anything, but somehow she seems to always know when I get up.

I slip out of bed and make my way to the bathroom as quietly as possible to shower and get ready for the day. I feel a hand grab by wrist as I pass the couch. I look down and see her still half asleep, her eyes aren't even open yet.

"Spence?"

"It's okay, go back to sleep. I'm just going to take a shower."

"Let me know if you need anything" she says through a yawn as she rolls back over. I can tell she has fallen back asleep within seconds by the sound of soft snoring. I can't help but smile. It was an adorable quirk of hers.

By now I'm able to take the bandages off and wash the surgical wound. I wince slightly as the gauze pulls as the staples. It seems do be doing okay. Y/N has really been helping a lot. The nurses here seem to know her well and let her do as much as she wants to help take care of me. I've tried convincing her that she's not at work and she doesn't have to be my nurse but she insists.

I make my way out of the steamy bathroom in fresh sweatpants as I towel dry my hair. Y/N is wide-awake, sitting on the edge of the bed with bandages all laid out on the side table.

I start to sit down next to her as I try one last time to convince her to take a break. "You know you really don't have to..."

"Shush. I want to help."

I turn to face her as she delicately dresses the wound after covering it with an antibiotic ointment. I had to admit, it hurt much less when she did it. I watch her as she puts all of her focus into what she's doing. I really enjoy getting to see her do what she does best, what she's passionate about. She looks really beautiful, despite having just woken up. It's almost not fair. Her hair is hanging down in its natural light waves, I'm almost tempted to reach out and run my hands through it. I can feel my skin tingle where she's placed her hand on my other shoulder for balance as the leans in to examine her finished work. I shake the feeling from my head. I can't scare her off.

After she's finished, I slip on a t-shirt as she pulls out her laptop and we settle into the hospital bed, ready to watch the final Harry Potter movie. Downtime in the hospital had allowed us to make our way through the series much quicker than anticipated. She had asked for a couple extra days off, which I fought against and lost. This was my fourth, and hopefully last day staying in the hospital.

As we get into the movie I hear her say "mmm I miss it."

"Miss what?"

"Hogwarts" she laughs as though this was obvious.

I give her a quizzical look.

She continues. "You know, the wizarding world, in Orlando?"

"Ohhh yeah I almost forgot they had that."

She pauses the movie and turns to look at me with wide eyes. "You mean you've never been?"

"No. By the time they built it I guess I was older and already working for the FBI."

"Spencer I only went my first time in college." She laughs. "You're never too old to go to Hogwarts!"

She sits for a moment, lost in her thoughts, before her face lights up with a huge smile.

"We have to go."

"What, the two of us?"

"No genius, me and Hotch." We both giggle at the thought as she elbows me. "I used to take road trips with my friends back home all the time. It's been awhile though..."

I can tell she's been a bit homesick lately. She misses her friends and family. No one has been able to visit her yet. So I decide that this is a great idea for us both.

I look over to her, unable to hide a grin. "When are we going?"

"Really? Really??! You'll go? Oh my gosh, Spencer!" She jumps up out of the bed and starts pacing the room.

"We have to start planning. When do you want to go? I have to ask for days off. You will too of course. I can't wait to show you everything. We'll have to get you a robe..."

"Y/N!" She stops to look at me, as I can't help but laugh at her.

"Take deep breaths. We have plenty of time. You really get excited for trips, huh?"

"Oh you have no idea! Vacations are my absolute favorite! Planning is half the fun."

She stops and loses herself in thought for a moment. "It's not weird, is it? Us taking a trip together?"

I simply shake my head and she continues to plan out loud.

Her question makes me think. We are just friends. Friends can take trips together. My thoughts drift to the events that took place a little over a week ago at her apartment and at the bar. We still haven't talked about that. I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but ever since then I have taken extra notice of little things.

We used to sit apart to watch movies together, but ever since that day she seems to snuggle next to me. I find myself incredibly aware of how close she is, or when her arm brushes mine, my skin igniting at every touch.

She eventually settles down and makes her way back over to the bed, setting us up to continue the movie. Her head settles onto my shoulder, as if it belongs there. As her gaze falls on the screen, my gaze falls on her, and I can't seem to tear it away. I love watching her reactions. Despite having seen the movie so many times before, her expressions are as dramatic as someone who is seeing it for the first time. She told me she still cries at the boathouse scene, every time. I love that about her, her ability to see light in dark places, good among the evil. She is definitely the shining light amongst the darkness I face every day at work. I never want to lose that...lose her.

Eventually the nurse comes in with the discharge paperwork and instructions for wound care. They try to offer me prescriptions for pain medications at home, but I insist on sticking with Tylenol and Advil. Y/N drives me home and helps me carry my things up to my apartment. After we make our way inside. She immediately starts cleaning, switching on some music before she gets to work. I think about telling her to stop but I know better by now. Instead I lie across the couch and grab the book I was reading before I left for the case.

I try to focus on the words in front of me, but I find myself reading the same page over again as my eyes are continually drawn to Y/N. I see her go in my room and come back out with a laundry basket and bed sheets. After starting a load, she makes her way to the kitchen, wiping down counters and cleaning off any dishes in the sink. She's too focused on each task to notice my lingering stares.

She had come back out dressed in some loose fitting, high-waisted denim shorts and a black tank. She's pulled back the top half of her hair and tied it with a silk, gold scarf. She's still got no makeup on with her glasses. I normally take absolutely no notice of what women wear, but I really admire her style. It's always changing, completely unique and completely hers.

I try to hold back a grin as I watch her dance around the kitchen, barefoot as she sings a song I don't recognize.

"You get ready you get all dressed up, to go nowhere in particular. Back to work or the coffee shop, it don't matter because it's enough to be young and in looovee."

I can't put my finger on it but something about her has definitely been different lately. There's a new glow about her, and I'm drawn to it like a moth.

During her cleaning she's also opened up all my curtains and window's letting light in. She brought home all the flowers that had been dropped off during my hospital stay and is rearranging them into small vases to spread across the apartment. Its almost as if her light is so infectious, she's spreading it into every corner of my life, my home. I blush at the thought of how nice it would be to have her around all the time.

Every once in awhile I catch her gaze and she simply smiles at me as she continues to sing with equal enthusiasm. I appreciate that she's finally comfortable enough around me to sing, to be completely herself.

When she finally runs out of things to busy herself with, she makes her way to the couch and sits across from me, handing me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as she bites into one she made for herself.

"Thank you" I say appreciatively with a mouth half full of food.

"Thanks for everything actually; cleaning my apartment, staying with me at the hospital, taking care of me...and just for sticking around, being my friend."

She leans forward placing her elbows on her knees. "I couldn't have found anyone better if I had hand picked them myself." She laughs at her own cheesiness.

I cough, clearing my throat for a moment. "Should we talk about the other night?"

"The other night? Oh!...oh." I notice her face turns a bit red and she breaks eye contact, staring at the wood floors instead.

"We don't have to I just thought..."

"No it's okay. We should talk about it. Well, first of all I want to apologize for making you uncomfortable. Sometimes when I drink I flirt with just whoever is around. It's not personal. I'm really sorry." I notice her start to nervously pick at the hem of her clothing, a sign of her anxiety.

"No! No you didn't make me uncomfortable." I shake my head, biting my lip as I try to think of how to continue.

"It was unexpected. I've never seen you be so confident. It was really s-s-something else." I feel my face heat up as I catch myself almost saying something I regret. I shift in my seat, incredibly aware of the thick tension lingering in the air.

She finally speaks up. "So the trip? I guess we can pick some dates once you're back at work. Then we can request off and buy some tickets. Sound good?"

"Mmmhhmm." My heart is still racing from the previous conversation. I can't believe how quickly I go from completely at ease around her to a hot mess of nerves. I tell my self it's nothing, that it will go away if I only give it time. It has to.

#spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer x reader #criminal minds #dr spencer reid #writing #harry potter #original story #spencer reid x y/n #lana del ray lyrics #universal #wizarding world #deathly hallows #Spotify

[stabbedinthenameofscience]

Tom Hiddleston's lanky nature, long legs, long fingers, are some of the physical features that have drawn me.

Some stories to bring about why:

A moment in time- Albion, MI, where I lived before here. I'm tutoring in a GED program. One of the other tutors notices my hands. I have long fingers. The joints are a little angular, thanks to the hypermobility and the arthritis that has already started to damage them (I am in my early 20s at this time). He tells me he's never seen hands like mine. Fingers like mine. Lanky. I've never thought of them as pretty, though at one time I considered they might be elegant. I could do pretty things with rings, especially in tiers, some floating above my second knuckles.

But this person...he tells me of this syndrome he's read about, how these hands are irregular, different, something that's a sign of a hidden something worse. Something I should (or shouldn't look up). And it did two things. 1) It sent me down a reading rabbit hole that scared me for a while, before I realized this was an unrealistic fear. 2) It made me incredibly self-conscious about my hands and planted that seed of self-doubt that I no longer saw them as something neutral, or simply hands, but something odd, awkward, abnormal. That lasted for years. I've gotten more neutral about them over the years, especially as I start wondering when their function is just going to impede the things I love to do, including writing. They aren't just hands. They are a part of me this degenerative disorder may some day claim and that scares the living fuck out of me. They are something I need to use as much as I can now, strengthen, and enjoy what they can do for me, what I can do with them, regardless of how they look. I can take pride in the strength of these hands (when I have it), with the fact they can type, on a good day, upwards of 70 words in a minute (often with surprising accuracy). I can take pride in their aptitude with tools, with the way my long fingers can reach things others can't, or I can steady them to the point where, when they don't shake, can paint a beautiful line, courtesy of my training in scene painting. They can make, and they can make beautiful things. I'm making my own wedding dress, which, while not traditional by any stretch, is something that is still a feat I can take incredible pride in.

These hands have held children, built a life, and repaired things I've been told were irreparable or only worth the rubbish bin.

And yet, thanks to one person's fascination with them so many years ago (going on twelve at this point), the damage was done and I still look at them in some moments of self-doubt and insecurity and think they're ugly, they're "old person hands" (I turn 37 this year and aging so early is another insecurity of mine), they're spider-like, they're too "thin" (in that my tendons and veins are clearly visible under the skin's surface on the back of my hands) and my knuckles are a little too imperfect, made all the more visible by how slender they are. And that they swell in the humidity, that the arthritis makes me unable to some days wear my engagement ring and the little copper key ring that both are dear to me...these things make me resent them at times. There's something "wrong" with them (which I know is utter bullshit- they're just hands, they are a part of my body, and they will serve me well until they won't).

I've also dealt with a life-long insecurity about my long legs. Dancer legs (14 years of ballet, many of tumbing, many of tap, and a few of jazz). Legs with strength and grace, but also lanky legs. I'm all leg. Legs that won't quit. Unwanted attention from a cluster of frat boys while I was walking in a short dress with my mother on the campus of Michigan State University and was still in high school. I stopped wearing shorts. I stopped wearing skirts above my knees. Because my knees are too angular (like the rest of me), knobby, and damaged thanks to scars from a surgery in the attempt to save the right one from the arthritis that started with it and has crept into other areas of my body. Again, attention in a moment I definitely didn't want it cracked and broke the self-esteem that has, for some reason, always been fragile. For years, I've been sensitive about my legs, initially because of the scars, small and faded as they are. But the trauma that one knee left me with, that my arthritis continually brings back, continually reminds me exists, gifted me with deep insecurities about my knees, compounded with the dipshit comments of adult men to a teenage child.

I've never seen these things as valuable. At their best, they are body-neutral. At their lowest, they are things that bring shame, doubt, embarrassment, unwanted attention and gaping.

And so, when I am a young adult a decade ago, just turning 27, pregnant with my first child, my body a mess from the pregnancy (from swelling, the awfulness of weight gain is to arthritic knees, the looseness of my hips that shift in ways I know aren't normal, the intense lower back pain, and the nausea that never abates), I see Thor. And there on screen is a young man only a few years older than myself with lanky legs and long, elegant fingers. In that moment, I'm drawn to how theses features don't put me off in the way they do in myself. I seem something of a commonality with this rising star in a movie that is essentially space Shakespeare that stars one of my favourite heavyweight actors (Sir Anthony Hopkins) and is directed by an artist I have admired for years at that point. The entire movie stands out to me and thrills me, calling to me as theatre on the silver screen, the Shakespearean and classical acting evident and threaded throughout the entire thing.

And it is beautiful to me.

And so is this man with features I'd rejected in myself, one a decade (my legs) and one only for a few years (my hands).

It probably seems odd that this moment was a branching point in the way I've handled these insecurities, but it was. I still won't wear skirts that show my legs. I still refuse to wear shorts. But these things also come from the habit of not shaving my legs, not generally because I resent they are long and lanky, just like the rest of me. Every movie I've seen with Tom Hiddleston when I feel myself smile at this lovely human (physically) who also has a public persona that is witty and soft-spoken, a nerd about theatre, who likes to explain acting process, who digs into literature with excitement...there's a moment of realization that I'm finding someone on my "tea list" (I'm mostly asexual- it's not a snog/shag list, it's a "take tea with and fall into the joy of conversation" list) that has a body with a few features like mine. And while I'm primarily smiling because seeing those performances brings me deep happiness, there's a corner of my mind that is reminded I am OK as I am, I need to just accept this is the body I have, and I can embrace it as what it is and let it do for me what I need it to, taking pride in the capabilities I have in these moments and reminding myself I am always running from time in a countdown before this auto-immune disorder steals these things from me.

So...strangely enough, Tom Hiddleston is attractive to me because his existence as he is reminds me that my physical being is alright.

There is a part of me that would really like him to know this. I don't know why. But I think it would be nice for him to know that his existence on this planet hasn't just made people happy because of his skills, but that it has reassured one person that their body can be fine, maybe even beautiful or elegant (in time), just because he is.

#tom hiddleston #self awareness #body neutrality #trauma #self consciousness #self image #body negativity #self acceptance #careless words from people who had no business saying them

[writtenfan]

🔺Imagine that your Lucifer’s human “pet”, and he decides to do some behavioral training with you...💋🔺

LuciferxFemReader

(Mature Audiences: BDSM themes and swears, pet play/degrading/pain play)

"I don't think I told you to move!" He rocked back and forth pulling a dart from thin air. "Tsk, tsk." He sighs in a murmur as he moves the dart in his hand back and forth pinching it between his fingers looking at a spot besides your head. He squints his eyes and let his tongue hang out the corner of his mouth as he pulls his hand back.

You shut your eyes as he throws it towards you, you hear the air whiz by your ear and the sharp thunk of the dart hitting the wall. You open your eyes and he stands there, staring at you. His hands now in his pockets. You glance to your right without moving your head and see the feathery end of the dart sticking out of the wall.

"Alright, since you moved and flinched...you know what that means," he says in a singsong voice, pulling a hand out of his pocket and dancing his fingers in the air.. "On the floor." He scrunches his face and lowered his head, glancing at the floor and then your face.

He tilts his head, upon noticing you not doing what he instructed.

He points to the ground, but you don't move.

He leans back with a smug grin, the lines on his eyes moving with his squinting eyes. He raises his eyebrows and you jump a little as he takes a step towards you. Your heartbeat thumps against your chest as he takes his time walking over to you, the sound of his feet against the hardwood floor the only sound in the den. His mustard color jacket, covering his white T-shirt. His dark blue pants cuffed revealing white socks underneath his brown shoes. His dirty blond hair, pushed back, neatly, yet the ends on the side of his face, stuck out just a little.

He stops in front of you his chest close to your face, he smelled so good. The wrinkles of his shirt, grabbed your attention you wanted to look up, you did a bit, but not at his face. He flexes back his shoulders and then does a little shimmy. You can feel his eyes looking down at you with that terrifying smile of his. "Oh, so you didn't hear me?" He blinks twice and pulls the dart from the wall beside your head, you flinch again at the suddenness of this movement. But you look up at his face.

He examines the dart with an unsatisfied expression and bites on his lower lip.

"That's unfortunate...for you."

He grabs your shoulder and pushes you down, hard. Your knees buckle and your face slams into his waist, and slides down one of his legs. Your hands grab at the sides of his legs so you can push yourself off him. But he sidesteps and slams his foot down on your upper back. You let out a whine as the wind is knocked out of you, your palms clutching at the floor. You turn your face to the side, feeling the pain of your rear in the air as your knees press against your chest. You only see his other foot as he turns the one against your back as if rubbing off something from his shoe.

You let out a sound as he puts some of his weight on you "I wonder how hard I'd have to squeeze you. To pop ya like a gusher~" he chuckles as he lifts his foot, and squats down, craning his face to meet yours as he pulls on your shirt tightly, the collar of your shirt choking you. "Aren't you curious? Hmm?"

He purses his lips and scratches the side of his chin. The sound of his stubble against his fingernails, is similar to Velcro.

"Well, let's find out huh?" His face looses its smile as he pushes the palm of his hand against your back and pivots. "Ugh, I'm too old for this..." He lets out a low long sigh as he sits on top of your back, he drapes his arms over his knees and twirls the dart in one hand. His weight, pushed your lungs and rib cage against the floor. You let out a uncomfortable sound and he chuckles, each chuckle pushing against your back.

"My arnt you the comfy seat!" He rocks himself back and forth on your back as he runs his hand from the top of your head to the back, in a petting motion. His  fingers were so thick and heavy and his nails occasionally raked across your scalp. Each movement, made your knees sandwich your ribs harder.

"I just love all the whining and trembling breathes your doing, keep it up."

You feel something sharp on the space close to your tail bone. It presses itself against your bare skin, and lifts off. Over and over.

"So, let me just say. When I tell you to do something-"  You feel it press harder and longer against your skin. You try to move you back lower to the ground and he only follows, pressing harder.

"-you do it. Kay? I'm getting tired. Of you bratting it up." You feel his head nod as his body shakes. Every breath is starting to hurt . You clench you're fists and move them closer to your face.

"I want my little pet, to be trained..." he lifts the dart and the pain stops. "Oh, I haven't even gotten you a collar." He slaps his knee with his free hand and leans his head down to your face.

You beg him to get off, softly.

He sucks in his lower lip and looks at you blankly, you watch as he continues to chew on it.

"Nah." he says with head shake squinting his eyes before straightening up and moving his legs, criss cross on you. Making the uncomfortableness worse.

"As I was saying, collar...collar..." he clicks his tongue and snaps his fingers, this makes you jolt and he chuckles feeling you do so. "Well. Until I get one. Guess I gotta improvise." You feel him pivot on your back, you swear you felt your spine crack.

His legs now on either side of your body as he faces your rear. He leans over pressing one of his elbows onto your hip and tugs your shirt up revealing your lower back.

"Now. Hold still~" he cooes as he presses the top of the dart and starts sliding against your skin, cutting into your flesh. You let out a cry as you try and move your knees out from under you. He grasps your waist and squeezes it as you do. "Don't. Move." He growls tightening his grip as he continues to make slow cuts into your skin, using it like paper.

He starts to hum as you feel the sharp stinging sensation travel with the direction of the dart.

You beg him with gasping breaths to stop, you tell him this is too much. 

"I.....F....E....." he says ignoring your pleas as his dart follows with each letter, mimicking it on your backside.

"R...." he rolls the" "r" and stops moving  the dart but pushes it hard into your skin as he releases your waist. He leans over and blows chilling air on the open cuts and it stings fiercer than Hydrogen Peroxide. He lifts the dart and lets out a satisfied grunt.

"Now, it's upside down. But~" he pats the side of your rear. "At least it's on there. How great is that?!"

He shifts his weight and your able to breath better, you take a deep breath in and your body shakes as he stands off you, tears run down your cheeks as you try and press yourself up, onto yo ur hands and knees. He lets out a sharp whistle and your stop. Buckling back down into your face. You feel the top of his shoe press against your side and you let him push you sideways. Your whole body shakes. The stinging sensation worsening with each second, you disassociate in the direction of his shoes.

“Ugh. Don't tell me your broken already?" He lays down besides you and looks at your face,  amused.

You sneer and look away from his eyes but suddenly your face snaps back to his, this movement sending a pain down your neck.

"Oh, no...I still see it...you still need some behavior training." He sucks in his lower lip and let’s it drop.

" Don't try and to be tough. I know how to make people do what I want." He reaches over to you and places his thumb against your chin. "But your not a person, are you? Your my little animal. My whimpering..." he rubs his thumbs in small circles. "...potty trained, little bitch..." he giggled staring at you coldly.

"I'm going to take very good care of you, as long as you keep me entertained." He says wagging his finger in your face.

He slides his thumb up your jaw. "Whose my pretty little girl? Aww...look at you, such wet eyes..." he rubs at your tears and then slides his finger across your eyebrow. "Such a pitiful, little thing...so weak, so breakable. So fun~"

"But I'll take good care of you. Take you for walks. Have you sit on my laps during meetings...Well, I will as long as you be a good girl." His face is so comforting yet his words strike this weird feeling into your heart.

"I have to say, your my most favorite pet that my daddy's ever given me...all mine to play with, all mine to enjoy...." he smiles wide, showing his teeth.

"It's so interesting what you do to me...I just couldn't just let you go unclaimed...I hope you understand that I do this all out of love~" His smile drops as he stares into your eyes.He rolls his tongue around in his mouth. Your eyes start to droop.

You feel a series of small slaps against the side of your face. "Nuh uh, wakey wakey. I'm not finished playing with you yet..." he snaps his hands to your collar of your shirt and pulls you up as he stand up, you choke and spit escapes the corner of you mouth. He winces and lets out a Eww as he takes his jacket and rubs it against your lip.

"Disgusting. Stop that..."  He gives you a good look tilting his head before pulling you along to a throne on the other side of the room. He sits down and lets go. He pats the inside of his leg.

"Sit."

Your body trembles and you start to turn around to sit. But he grabs your wrist and turns you back around.

"Siiiiit. He sings.

"You climb into his lap. Feeling his heavy breaths against your chest as you wrap your arm around his shoulder and your knees rest on either side of his legs.

"Get comfortable..." he whispers in your ear. The chill making goosebumps travel down your body.

"My...you feel so soft and warm...and that scent of yours " he whispers as he presses the tip of his nose  against the side of your neck. You let out a soft exhale as he does this. "It's sickening..."

#supernatural #spn #spn lucifer #supernatural lucifer #spnlucuferxreader #luciferxreader #archangel lucifer #spn imagine #spn fanfiction

[hopelessromantics4life]

Ethan and MC playlist

Part two [2]

1. Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis

Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain

Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain

Time starts to pass, before you know it, you're frozen, ooh

But something happened for the very first time with you

My heart melts into the ground, found something true

And everyone's looking 'round, thinking I'm going crazy, oh

But I don't care what they say

I'm in love with you

They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth

My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing

You cut me open and I

Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud

Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt

Yet I know that their goal is to keep me from falling, hey, oh

But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace

And in this world of loneliness, I see your face

Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy

Maybe, maybe

And it's draining all of me

Though they find it hard to believe

I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see

2. No one- Alicia Keys

One, two, three, four

Yeah

Yeah

This is dedicated

I just want you close

Where you can stay forever

You can be sure

That it will only get better

You and me together

Through the days and nights

I don't worry 'cause

Everything's gonna be alright

People keep talking, they can say what they like

But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

And no one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I'm feeling

No one, no one, no one

Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you

Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down

And my heart is hurting

You will always be around

This I know for certain

3. Don't give up on me- Andy Grammer

And I will stay

I will stay with you

We'll make it to the other side

Like lovers do

I'll reach my hands out in the dark

And wait for yours to interlock

I'll wait for you

I'll wait for you

'Cause I'm not givin' up

I'm not givin' up, givin' up

No, not yet

Even when I'm down to my last breath

Even when they say there's nothin' left

So don't give up on

And I will hold

I'll hold onto you

No matter what this world'll throw

It won't shake me loose

4. Strangers in the night- Frank Sinatra

Strangers in the night

Exchanging glances

Wandering in the night

What were the chances?

We'd be sharing love

Before the night was through

Something in your eyes

Was so exciting

Something in your smile

Was so inviting

Something in my heart

Told me I must

I must have you

Strangers in the night

Two lonely people

We were strangers in the night

Up to the moment when we said our first hello

Little did we know

Love was just a glance away

A warm embracing dance away and

Ever since that night

We've been together

Lovers at first sight

In love forever

It turned out so right

For strangers in the night

5. Love in the dark - Adele (cover by Leroy Sanchez)

You have given me something that I can't live without

You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt

We're not the only ones

I don't regret a thing

Every word I've said

You know I'll always mean

It is the world to me

That you are in my life

6. Tell me you love me - Demi Lovato

Bad at love, no, I'm not good at this

But I can't say I'm innocent

Not hardly

But I'm sorry

And all my friends, they know and it's true

I don't know who I am without you

I got it bad, baby

Got it bad

Oh, tell me you love me

I need someone

On days like this, I do

On days like this

No, you ain't nobody 'til you got somebody

You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody

And I hope I never see the day

That you move on and be happy without me

Without me

Oh, what's my hand without your heart to hold?

I don't know what I'm living for

If I'm living

Without you, ooh

7. Shallow - Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper

I'm falling

In all the good times I find myself

Longin' for change

And in the bad times I fear myself

Tell me something, boy

Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?

Or do you need more?

Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?

I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in

I'll never meet the ground

Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us

We're far from the shallow now

8. Fire on fire - Sam Smith

Then I saw you and I knew

Maybe it's 'cause I got a little bit older

Maybe it's all that I've been through

I'd like to think it's how you lean on my shoulder

And how I see myself with you

I don't say a word

But still, you take my breath and steal the things I know

There you go, saving me from out of the cold

Fire on fire would normally kill us

But this much desire, together, we're winners

They say that we're out of control and some say we're sinners

But don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms

'Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me

And look in my eyes

You are perfection, my only direction

It's fire on fire, mmm

It's fire on fire

When we fight, we fight like lions

But then we love and feel the truth

We lose our minds in a city of roses

We won't abide by any rules

9. The scientist - Coldplay

Tell me your secrets

And ask me your questions

Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles, coming up tails

Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me

Come back and haunt me

Oh, and I rush to the start

Running in circles, chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

10. Run to you - Lea Michele

The city sky's feeling dark tonight

We're back to back with our heads down

Just look at me, give me more tonight

Just give me more of your love now

Let's set fire to the lonely night

You're beautiful when you look at me

Let's give love another life

Cause you'll be safe in these arms of mine

Just call my name on the edge of the night

And I'll run to you, I'll run to you

I would run to you, if you want me to

Just give me some kind of reason

I'll take the pain, take it all away

Just give it some kind of meaning

Let's let go, let it be the start

You know I'm feeling the same thing

Let's let go of our broken hearts

Even if it's gonna break me, love

Gonna make my way to you

Anyway it's gonna take me, love

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #love song playlist #ethan x mc playlist #Spotify

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 28

"It's that doctor. This was all him." I said as we ran.

"How do you know?" Sam asked.

I looked over to Steve but he was concentrating on where we were going.

"I just do. It's all way too coincidental. Everything that happened led to that doctor being alone with James." I explained.

My heart was pounding furiously as we ran around a corner. Steve slowed in front of us at the sight of a body on the floor.

"Help me" a voice croaked.

Steve slowly moved closer. In the next room bodies were all over the place. What the hell happened?

"Help" the voice croaked again.

I stepped around Steve to see the doctor on the floor. A red hot rage filled me instantly.

"Get up" Steve ordered.

Before the guy had a chance I grabbed his shirt jerking him to his feet. I slammed him hard into the wall.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Steve asked harshly from beside me.

The man smiled sinisterly.

"To see an empire fall." He spat.

I didn't even get to retort when Sam was suddenly slammed into the wall next to me. I jumped turning around. Steve tried to subdue Bucky but he swung hard.

"Shit" I breathed out.

I grabbed Sam trying to help him to his feet but he was out cold. The two super soldiers moved into the next room. All thoughts of the doctor flew out of my mind as I ran to catch up with my friends. When I reached them Bucky threw Steve door the elevator shaft.

"Steve!" I shouted making Bucky turn towards me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him harshly.

"Stay out of my way doll." He snapped.

He wasn't Bucky. The look in his eyes was the same one as the first time Steve and I had seen him as the Winter Soldier. Somehow the switch got flipped again.

I chased after him. I couldn't let him disappear again. He didn't know what he was doing. He needed help.

I got down into the main lobby to find James in the middle of fighting several agents. None of them stood a chance against him.

"James!" I shouted trying to get his attention.

I ran towards him just as Tony came around the corner. A sonic wave hit me making me crumbled to my knees. My ears rang from it. I covered my eyes as a bright flash filled the room. When I could see and hear again Bucky had both Sharon and Nat on him. He knocked Sharon off then grabbed Nat by the throat. He slammed her on top a table.

"You could at least recognize me." Nat said through clenched teeth.

I stumbled to my feet as T'Challa jumped out kicking Bucky in the chest. I checked on Nat quickly as the two men started to fight. She was panting from lack of oxygen but otherwise okay.

Bucky knocked off T'Challa then ran up the stairs. I moved to follow him but someone grabbed my wrist pulling me back.

"You can't help him." Tony said sharply.

"I have to try." I said softly.

Tony tightened his hold on my wrist but I could still get out of it. I ripped my hand away from him. Bucky was no longer on the stairs. I turned and ran as quickly as I could. I followed my instincts running out the side door. A few feet in front of me James was running full speed. He shoved open a heavy metal door that led to a helicopter pad. He ripped something off the door of the helicopter then opened the door. I hurried to the other side doing the same and climbing inside.

"What the hell are you doing?" James asked harshly.

"If you're leaving then so am I." I told him.

"Are you out of your mind?" He glared at me.

"Better get going before we get caught again." I stated simply.

He growled but did as I said. He started flipping switches making the copter roar to life.

"I don't understand what you're doing." He said as he started to lift us off the pad.

"I've lost you too many times already. I'll be damned if I let it happen again." I said sternly.

The metal door leading to the pad flew open as Steve ran out. His eyes locked with both mine and Bucky's. He ran full speed then jumped grabbing hold of the helicopter. With his insane strength he kept us from getting too far. When Bucky tried to get him off Steve grabbed a hold of the edge of the pad.

"He can't seriously being doing this." I said in disbelief.

Bucky tried to make him let go but ended up crashing us into the pad.

"Shit! Hold on doll!" James shouted as we went down.

I closed my eyes for only a second. When I opened them we were falling into the water. I looked over to James to see blood trickling down the window his head was laying against.

"Jamie!" I shouted right before my head went under water.

I had to kick at my door a few times to get it open. When I got to Jamie's side Steve was already there ripping the door open. I helped him pull him out then drag him up to the surface. I gasped for air as soon as I could.

"Have you lost your mind?" Steve shouted at me as we swam to the shore.

I knew he was mad but he was scared more than anything. He could have just lost both his best friends in one moment. All I had selfishly thought about was James and how I couldn't loose him again.

"You scared the absolute hell out of me Willow." He chided as we drug James out of the water.

"I'm sorry" I said softly.

I fell to my knees next to Jamie. His chest was rising and falling normally which eased my worries a bit.

"What if you got killed? Did you even stop to think about me or Sam? What would we do without you?" Steve asked as he kneeled beside me.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I looked down at James.

"I couldn't risk loosing him again." I choked out.

Steve's arms were instantly around me. I cried harder the instant my head was against his chest.

"Cap!" Sam's voice brought me back to reality.

I quickly sat up wiping my eyes. I wasn't sure I could explain to Sam why I was crying. Steve knew me well enough to know why. I was overwhelmed. Too much going on around me and in my head.

"He still breathing?" Sam asked coming to a stop in front of us.

"That's not funny." I grumbled.

I didn't give Steve a chance to do anything. I bent down picking up Bucky's unconscious body. I positioned him over my shoulders so I held one arm and one leg to keep him in place.

"Willow I can carry him." Steve chided.

"So can I." I said simply.

Steve sighed but nodded. He knew I wasn't going to let him take James from me. I followed behind the two men towards our "getaway car". I chuckled to myself at the sight of the small dark blue beetle. Sam opened the door then moved up the seat so I could sit James in the back seat. I climbed in to sit next to him. The car ride was silent but the air was tense. I knew both men wanted to say something. Most likely two completely different things.

Steve pulled the car into an old run down warehouse. I pulled James out then carried him to the other side of the room where I gently sat him against the wall.

"Sam, give me a hand." Steve said.

I watched as Steve raised up part of an old wench then nodded for Sam to do something. I stepped forward when Sam grabbed Bucky's metal arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" I questioned harshly.

"When he wakes up he could still be the Winter Soldier. It's just a safety precaution." Steve told me.

I scoffed turning away as Steve tightened it down on his friend's arm. When he was done he excused himself out of the room.

"Care to explain why you ran off like that?" Sam asked quietly.

"I didn't want us to loose track of him again." I told him.

He sighed.

"Will, you promised to be honest with me." He said in exasperation.

"How can I be honest if I don't know what the hell is going on myself?" I asked a bit harsher than I meant to.

"What does that mean?" Sam questioned.

I was the one to sigh this time.

"Ever since we found him things have started to change. The more I talk to him. The longer I'm near him I can feel every emotion I use to have coming back to the surface. They're not just memories anymore." I explained softly.

I felt so bad. I didn't understand it at first. I thought I was just caring about him more because I could remember him. In reality, every second around him brought me closer to loving him again. I didn't want to hurt Sam. He was a great guy and he'd been there for me through so much since we met but I can't stop these feelings from resurfacing.

"You're falling in love with him again aren't you?" Sam asked.

"I don't know if you'd call it falling." I muttered.

"Willow" Sam huffed.

I walked over to Sam then leaned my head against his chest. His arms wrapped around me as he rested his chin on top my head.

"Just give me some time to figure out exactly what I'm feeling. Please." I spoke into his chest.

I stepped back not paying much attention to the groaning behind me. Sam grabbed each side of my face then kissed me softly. Another groan behind me made Sam and I both turned around to see James awake and watching us with a look of either pain or disgust.

—

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #steve rogers #sam wilson fanfiction #sam x reader #sam wilson #the girl out of time