#my brain is happier when i’m busier

[stonesandswords]

the seasonal place that i volunteer at reopened again and i just finished the first night of volunteering for the season

now off to a party that’s said it’s be going until at least 2am on the invitation

happy winter solstice ❄️

#i love the holidays #there’s always so much to do #my brain is happier when i’m busier

[bubblyhoney]

cheeky

warnings: lAnGuAgE, suggestive reference, a buffy quote

tags: sapnap x reader

words: 1248

A/N: first fic about our beloved snappy in the books! hope you guys like. :)

-

“God, I love corporate America,” you sigh, stopping in your tracks. Sapnap nearly runs into you with the cart and makes a squeak noise, prompting you to turn.

“What does that even mean?” He grumbles, maneuvering past you and towards the produce section. You trail after him, swiping a carton of oatmeal raisin cookies on the way and dropping it into the front basket of the cart.

“It means if Publix was a person I’d suck their—,” is all you get out before he’s slapping a hand over your mouth.

“There are children.” He looks genuinely concerned and you laugh, mouthing at his hand behind your mask. It drops to the handle.

“Don’t be such a grumpy pants, baby.” You sling an arm around his wide shoulders, slumping into his side as he shuffles forward.

“I don’t want to be awake right now, much less grocery shopping.” His voice is slightly more nasally right now, attributed to his inability to remember to take his allergy medicine. “I’m only doing this for you.”

For someone who just said something cute, he looks awfully displeased.

“Such a good sport,” you coo, rubbing your head at his shoulder.

“Where’s the list?” He straightens and pats at his pockets.

“I have it!” You pull it from your back pocket and pass it to him, supplying a slightly... chewed pencil as well. He gives you a weird look but moves to cross off number 6: cookies. An essential.

“You wanna tag team this?” He suggests and you raise your eyebrows, wiggling them. “Jesus, Y/N,” he sighs, like being your boyfriend is the hardest job in the world. “Just go get the milk and eggs while I get the produce. Can you do that?”

You pout under your mask. “I guess,” you say, and trundle off towards the dairy aisle, Sapnap's borrowed slippers slapping on the tile.

When you return, a loaf of whole grain bread tucked under your arm and a carton of 12 grade A’s in one hand, Sapnap is decidedly happier. In fact, he’s humming the Elmo song. Weird choice, but you don’t question it as you drop the items down carefully into the cart.

“What’re you eating?” You ask, leaning in to sniff him. He tugs down his mask and pops a green grape into his mouth, pulling it back up as he chews obnoxiously loud. “Pass me one, daddy.”

He chokes, coughing once and swallowing, before tugging a grape from the package in the cart and passing it to you.

“You have to stop doing that,” he mutters, but grabs your hand in his and places it around his shoulders. You hum, chewing, and lean into his neck.

“What else is on the list?” Your voice is soft, much calmer and casual after his change in attitude. The paper emerges from his pocket and he uncrumples it, eyes scanning over once.

“Saran wrap, pink lemonade, sliced turkey, tortillas, mozzarella, lettuce—oops.” He scribbles lettuce out with the pencil. “Um, jalapeño chips, sparkling water, and frozen burritos. Of the Hot Pocket variety, specifically.” He passes the list over to you and pulls another grape to toss it into his mouth. “I think we should invest in a cheesecake too.”

“Your brain is so big.”

“Yeah? You like that?” He glances at you and pushes the cart forward with a jerk, mounting it swiftly and gliding past a bubble of teenagers who look on, equally confused and amazed at an adult riding a Publix cart. You shake your head, following slowly after.

“Okay, I’m actually having fun now.” You can see the grin in his eyes as you catch up near the chip aisle. He ducks into the aisle, snagging a bag of jalapeño Ms. Vicky’s and dropping it into the cart.

“Good,” you muse, poking his side. “And how does it feel being the hottest person at Publix at ten at night?”

He shoots you a questioning look but considers your question as he drops another bag of chips onto the lettuce.

“Feels good, actually,” he decides and swings out into the flow of traffic, nearly rolling over the foot of an elderly person. He apologizes quickly and you can just barely see his cheeks flush pink over the hem of his mask.

You two make your way through the list efficiently, sometimes not-so-efficiently taking five minutes to decide if coconut or mango sparkling water is better. Coconut tastes like the smell of the all-purpose spray cleaner at home, but you accede. A thing or two is added to the list: cheesecake, upon his request, and two bottles of aloe vera lube. (“There’s a sale, babe! Would be a crime to not stock up.”) The cashier doesn’t give a second thought to the last items as they scan it, but you two giggle like teenagers.

“Ah,” Sapnap sighs, tugging off his mask and leaning forward to push the airflow of the AC directly at his face. Cool air blasts the interior of your car and you thank every holy being in existence for modern air conditioning.

“Florida sucks ass.” You move your head slowly next to the vent, tilting like a rotisserie chicken. “I can’t believe Dream got you to stay.” Passing him a stick of gum, you shove your own piece into your mouth and slide the middle console closed.

“Me either,” he hums in agreement.

“Good your way, baby?” You ask, shifting the car into reverse and easing back. He mhm’s and you slide out of the parking spot easily. The parking lot is getting busier, however late, and you maneuver between the groups of adults shopping and teenagers loitering near the cart bays.

“Dibs on the AUX,” he announces and reaches for the cord.

“Okay,” you say as Kids by MGMT starts with a flutter of sound. “Price is a kiss on my lips.” Your car lurches to a stop at a red light and you tilt your face towards him expectantly. Sighing, he leans forward and presses a single kiss to your lips. Mm.

“That’s it?” You pout, lip jutting out. He grips your jaw in his hand, only centimeters away, and rubs at it with a thumb.

“You’re a brat, you know that?” he breathes, but kisses you once more (with feeling). You close your eyes and lean into it, tongue slipping between your lips and barely touching his.

A loud honk interrupts you and you jerk away, eyes wide and looking up at the light. It’s green, you realize, raising a hand in apology to the person behind you, and kick the car into gear.

“You haven’t done that since high school,” Sapnap grins and sits back in his seat. You move a hand to his leg, glancing at his face with a similar smile.

“Done what? Kiss you?”

“No.” He rolls his eyes. “Missed a green light while kissing me.”

“Mm,” you agree. “I remember red lights being a popular destination.” Squeezing at his thigh, you slide him a look and watch his cheeks flush. He just shakes his head, leaning on his elbow against the door with his hand on his jaw.

The car idles into a stop and the glow of the red light reflects on the hood of your car. You shift slightly in your seat, raising your eyebrows and giving him a pointed look.

“Don’t even think about it.” He turns towards the window but you catch a glimpse of a smile from underneath his fingers.

Cheeky.

-

A/N: ask or send me some stuff!! requests, rants, anything. :D i don't mind comments either ;)

#sapnap #mcyt #sapnap x reader #sapnap x gn!reader #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap drabble #sapnap one shot #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #bubblyhoneyfics

[foryoumyheroes]

Kuroo’s S/O is a Phantom Thief

[Persona 5 x Haikyuu!!]

A/N: asdfgh I’m sorry Haikyuu has just been taking over every corner of my mind. This is so self-indulgent, this is my own version of emergency requests because today was a sad day and I didn’t do so well on my quiz.😔 It’s been a while since I’ve refreshed a lot of my memory on P5 BUT IM STILL OBSESSED WITH IT , so apologies if I get anything wrong! This also uses Akira as the Protag’s name. 

Warnings: This uses they/them pronouns as usual, but if you are familiar with P5 canon, it does hint that Kuroo’s S/O is afab because of how Kamoshida is and how he acts :// Also, especially if you aren’t familiar with P5, hints of harassment, violence, and sexual assault might come up until the bullet point “Now that the context is over.” There’s nothing explicit, but you guys deserve that warning! 

Here’s some ✨backstory✨: 

He was probably just an huge fan of Kamoshida, your school’s volleyball coach and former Olympic medalist, growing up. So much so that he almost went to Shujin but ultimately decided on Nekoma in the end. 

That’s probably how the two of you met. You were on your school’s vball team and your schools were having practice matches with one another. His eyes probably went 👁️👁️ while his brain went brrr when he first saw you and you spiked a ball in his face because he was too busy staring at you and your form to notice the ball come flying at his nose at 5000 mph. Like oh my god are you an angel. Your form is so fluid yet strong and your jumps take you so high--BAM!  

You two ended up trading contact info as you took him to the nurse’s office and ✨the rest is history✨

Used to fangirl over Kamoshida every time he came to pick you up at your school and got you to introduce him. He got an autograph and hung it up in his room. 

That being said he does think it’s kind of strange that Shunjin Academy has such a weak volleyball team. He’s like asdfghj he feels so bad for saying it, but some of your teammates get knocked back from a single receive and you get bruises all over? At first he thinks it’s because Kamoshida legitimately tries to work you guys to the bone and then as years go by you get more solemn and quiet about your team.  

You do that stubborn Y/N Main Character Thing™ where you keep everything to yourself because you don't want to worry anyone and it drives Kuroo insane. 

He’s the type that tries to take care of the people that he values (as seen when he nags/checks up on Kenma) and seeing you physically hurt or emotionally closed off would honestly affect him personally. He wants to help and he wants you to confide in him, but all he can do is nag you about taking care of yourself the moment you see him because you’re becoming more distant. 

After a while, he thinks that it’s his fault because his parents’ history still affects him. 

Then one day it comes crashing down when you come crying your eyes out to him that you’ve been kicked off the volleyball team because you fought back against Kamoshida and ran off and Kuroo sees red. He’s shaking with anger. 

He’s a scorpio so of course all of his emotions are at full force when he hears you crying loudly on the couch after Kamoshida’s attempt and he’s split between wanting to commit murder on your former coach and comforting you. 

You tell him everything: how Kamoshida abuses the team, how he always molests the girls, how he started out nice to you because of your skills but recently everything escalated and Kuroo’s heart just drops. 

He says, “We need to tell the authorities!! Your principal!!” and that just makes you cry harder because no one would believe you and that your principal is already covering for Kamoshida. 

Kuroo honestly thinks that he failed you because he didn’t do anything earlier. He was expecting something, but never took the first steps and he legitimately ties to make up for it by hovering over you the next few weeks. 

That night he immediately rips up his Kamoshida autograph and throws it in the shredder. 

He moves practice to an hour later to have time to pick you up and take you to Nekoma, he takes you straight to your home every night, and spends his weekends and free time with you. This was routine for several months until tournaments turn up and he has to regretfully spend time away from you.  

Legitimately almost beat up Mishima because he was spreading rumors about you but you held your 188 cm cat back. 

[One day he walks to Shujin and to your classroom because you weren’t at the gates waiting for him strangely? You turn around and he sees you with three other people which puts him on edge because after Kamoshida people in your school avoided you like the plague. 

You just turn when you hear him open the door and you actually smile at him genuinely. 

“Hey, Tetsu, this is Ann and Ryuji -- they’re victims of Kamoshida too. And this is Akira, the new kid. They’re my new friends.”]

Then you spend more time away from him while he busies himself with upcoming competitions and he swears that something’s up, but you’ve promised to be honest with him now and he’s too busy with the Nekoma team to really press it out of you. He’s going to “accidentally” hit  Kamoshida’s face the next time he sees him on the court. 

And then Kamoshida voluntarily publicly admits to his crimes, resigns, and goes to jail and while he thinks it’s strange he celebrates with you. 

Afterwards, Kuroo swears that you’re a new person. Not changed, but definitely different, and he doesn’t complain because you’re smiling again, and you feel more confident and free. As long as you’re happy and your abuser is behind bars, then he’s happy. 

Now that the context is over. 

He doesn’t think much of the Phantom Thieves. He just jokes around whenever people talk about them because he thinks that it’s things out of a fairy tale. Refuses to believe their existence for the longest time while Lev is like :oooo BUT THEY ARE REAL SENPAI!! 

You even try to lay low by agreeing with him that they don’t exist. 

Kuroo: why are kids nowadays talking about these edgy power rangers. 

He feels very bittersweet when you get your new friends. In one hand, he tried very hard to have you get along with his team because in Shujin he knows that you struggled with making friends, but after you made your new friends -- which he’s happy for, he really is!! -- he can’t help but feel like you’re disappearing off the grid? 

Like you’re a lot happier now, and he’s glad that your new friends are able to bring you this freedom, but you’re becoming more busy and he’s :((( 

He suspects that something’s up though. One day he jokingly punches you in the arm and HIS FIST HURT. He thinks that you’ve been going to the gym without him and you could’ve been spotting each other this entire time. 

He gets jealous of Akira the most. Like sure, you get along with the others really well and Ryuji makes you laugh and Yusuke is pretty, you said, but you gush about your team leader the most since he’s the most skilled and Kuroo inwardly feels :/// at the sound of you praising another guy.

You’ve been dropping a lot of dates to fight in the Metaverse and Palaces and so he feels very neglected. He’s mf’ing needy!! He needs attention! 

You guys were already long distance and you’ve made it work so far, but as the Phantom Thieves became more popular as time went on, you spent more time with your friends. He misses you, but he doesn’t want to be seen as the possessive, clingy bf so he keeps his opinions to himself, especially since these were your first real friends in a while. 

Your first big fight happened when you texted him that you were busy at a study group with your friends, but he just so happened to be in the Sangenjaya district for karaoke with the owl and cat teams and as they’re walking home he sees you emerge from the bathhouse with Akira laughing your asses off. 

[”Hey, Kuroo, isn’t that [Name?],” one of his teammates say, pointing across the street at you with Akira. He gulps first and Kenma’s eyes worryingly flash to Kuroo before falling on your figure. Isn’t it suspicious that you were in a bathhouse with another guy after you said you were busy? 

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT WAS FOR THE SOCIAL LINK KUROO 

“Guess you weren’t stressing over your physics exam, huh?” a voice suddenly says, beside you.

“Tetsu?”] 

You guys ended up fighting all night, but it was getting late so per your rules that you established when you first started dating, you both said sorry to each other and went to bed. Yet, the doubt never leaves. 

Honestly, after a while he does think that you might be a better match for Akira because you both lived in the same area, went to the same school, and were both terrorized by the same person. “Birds of a feather” and all that. He loves you but just wants what’s best for you 😢

He’s smart but...yeah. I’m gonna refrain from further comment. It’s that scorpio brain. He would never get that you’re a Phantom Thief until you clearly tell him. 

It either comes out when you guys are fighting again and your relationship is on the line, or you either forgot another date with him and he walks into Leblanc to see you talking with your friends. 

He tries to take your conversation outside, but you guys were discussing really urgent and couldn’t go with him, and then you guys start arguing in front of your friends and that’s ;;; awkward as hell. When it starts to escalate either you end up letting it slip that you’re a Phantom Thief or Ryuji. 

You can practically see the !!!! on top of everyone’s heads when it comes out. 

Everyone scrambles to talk over each other to cover it up but the damage was already done 😔

[Futaba: we can knock him out and pretend that he dreamed up the entire thing!! 

Everyone: Futaba, no 

Futaba yes.]

When it finally sinks in he’s embarrassed af ;;; like the entire time he was doing the provoking act on Akira and for what??? 

Then he feels relieved. He thought that you were bored of your relationship and that’s why you’ve been busier and distancing yourself.

Kuroo: thank god [Name] has just been fighting crime this entire time instead of wanting to leave me. 😊😊 (but if you did want to leave he would’ve let you go he’s not toxic!!)

Your friends were iffy about him at first, but he does prove himself to be a reliable person! They think y’all r so lovey-dovey it’s gross. 

Ryuji: every time he steps into the room for [Name] I feel 10x more single.

If he hears other students of Nekoma try to talk trash about the Phantom Thieves, he’ll legit puff out his chest, walk up to them and go, “HAAAH? WHAT DID YOU SAY?? SAY THAT TO MY FACE.”  

When you try to explain Palaces and Mementos he legit tries to argue with you 🙃🙃

Kuroo: BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE S E N S E WHERE’S THE SCIENCE BEHIND THIS. There has to be an explanation make it make sense!! 

Damn he thought you were hot before now he thinks that you’re a literal GOD ON EARTH. 

[You: [beats up a multi-millionaire in a Palace]. 

Kuroo: [tears up] real hot girl shit.]

Does your homework for you when you’re too tired after fighting Shadows all day. 

He loves Morgana the most out of all your friends!! Because... he’s a not cat. Like c’mon. 

In all truth, he’s so supportive of you!! Yeah, he was kinda disappointed that you didn’t tell him sooner, especially since he was there for you when it first started, but he truly understands your reasoning and why you kept it to yourself. He’s worried every time he knows that you’re going to fight Shadows, but can’t help but feel the sense of pride every time you come back to him. 

Kuroo wants to gloat to his team that he has such a badass S/O so much, but every time he praises you he has to cut so many details out so he just sounds like a crazy person. 

#kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo headcanons #kuroo hcs #kuroo tetsuro scenarios #kuroo #kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #persona 5 headcanons #persona 5 scenarios #persona 5 #crossover #YEA THIS WAS SELF SERVING AS HELL WHAT OF IT #...what did i write honestly...

[annakie]

A Lot of Words about a Thing

This is a “I’m writing this out so next time someone asks I can just point them to this (or copy/paste) instead of having to type it again” thing.

I’ve been doing Hello Fresh for the last two or three months and I thought I’d talk about the ups and downs of it and if I’m going to keep doing it.  This is not an endorsement (which will be clear when you get to the overall middling scoring), but I will put a link at the bottom so we can both get a deal if you want to try it.

---------------

So anyway, I had been thinking about doing a meal kit for a long time but pulled the trigger on it back in... like Mid-January, I guess? 

the tl;dr of it all is that I like it and I’ll probably keep doing it for awhile, but it’s not for everyone, and is expensive for what it is, especially if you already know how to cook.

Before I started, I made myself sit down and write out a quick list of what I wanted to get out of trying a meal kit experience, so I’ll rate how successful or not each one of those things is.

First of all, I want to also say, I can already cook.  I’m a pretty good cook.  I can follow a recipe and improvise successfully when necessary usually.  One reason why a lot of people do a meal kit is because they need to learn how to cook and that definitely wasn’t me.

Also, they offer a variety of number and portions on meals to try.  I get three meals a week, with two portions a meal, which means I cook Hello Fresh for dinner one night, and usually the next night have the leftovers.  Friday night is usually “Yay You Made It To The Weekend, You Get To Order Takeout” night.  You can order for several more meals a week, and for up to four portions in each meal, if you want.

So on to the reasons why I decided to try HF, with a grading of how I feel about each one after trying.

Reason One: Try Something New

I was super excited at the beginning of the pandemic now working from home full time, because this was a great chance to really start trying some new recipes.  I had fallen into a pretty bad rut for awhile of some of the same frozen type meals or just making super easy things for dinner and sandwiches for lunch pre-pandemic.  Even though my commute was stupid easy I often felt too wiped at the end of the day to make like, real meals.  So when the pandemic hit and I was Home All The Time, for the first couple of months I was buying interesting ingredients (what I could get my hands on at the time) and really digging into making new and interesting things.  Even baking my own bread and bought some new kitchen gadgets like a pressure cooker to expand my repertoire. 

By like... the end of summer... well the good news was that I was still cooking and hadn’t fallen back to a packaged-food routine most of the time (though still some frozen pizzas or bags of pre-made Asian or Italian food you cook on the stovetop mostly for lunch) but also I had more or less found The Ten Things I Make (like Spaghetti, a great chicken and rice dish that is so good and makes about 6 meals worth of leftovers) and I was real tired of like, recipe hunting.  The most work I was then doing was finding new pressure cooker recipes and tbh almost all of what I was making was Chicken In Some Kind of Sauce Over Rice.  I was burned out.

So Hello Fresh... has been great for that.  I have only made the same thing a couple of times and those were only because i loved them so much the first time I wanted that thing again.  For the most part, I have tried just a ton of new things, including some ingredients I’ve never worked with before or really thought I wouldn’t like!  And I did!  I feel like I am often trying something I have never made before.

Reason 1.5: Variety

OK this is hand-in-hand with Something New but also slightly different.

Try Something New would be rated like a 4.5 out of 5 stars.... but some stars are taken away though, because a lot of their recipes are very similar.  For a protein, there’s like, chicken breasts, hamburger meat, pork chops, chicken sausage and pork sausage.  Occasionally steak.  Basically every meal will start with one of those things.... oh and I guess there’s like some fish choices, but I hate fish.  There’s also vegetarian options, which I have only occasionally gotten.  So within the variety, there’s a lot of similarities.

Also there are a lot of same ingredients in their recipes.  I have grated a lot of lemons and limes.  I have chopped up a lot of carrots, green onions, and potatoes (so many potatoes.)  I have consumed more sour cream than I ever have.  I have started looking for ways to add even a little more variety to the things that are often-repeats that they give you.  

But part of that is my fault -- I am mostly selecting items that I know I will like, or can modify to how I like.  There are a lot of veggie and fish-based choices I could pick up most weeks which I avoid. 

And almost everything I’ve ever made... I’d make again.  I save all the recipe cards so that someday when I don’t wanna do HF anymore, I will have all them all handy to make later.  The HF Subreddit also has a lot of resources like how to do their custom spice mixes, very handy.   There’s been maybe 3 things I’ve made which I’d say were Just Okay, but nothing I’d say that was bad.   And some of the ideas in this paragraph I talk about more, further down.

But also on the topic of “Variety” -- since every meal I make has two portions (occasionally I will stretch something to three) -- points are given back because I’m not “Making a huge pot of spaghetti that I eat for five meals in a row.”  So that’s good, even if it means more cooking overall.

So honestly, on Something New overall, I’ll give this like a 3.5 out of 5 stars, correcting up to 4 stars on a curve, since I strike entire categories of their offerings based on my own tastes.  They offer a pretty good variety of meals to select, and part of the problem here is my fault for hating All Seafood and not being thrilled with the vegetarian options (I also don’t feel like I’m getting my money’s worth without a protein) so there are a lot of meals re-using similar ingredients.   It slides back down to a 3.5 though when you factor in Reasons 3 & 4 below.

Reason Two: Kill Analysis Paralysis

A thing I found increasingly happening by the end of last year was analysis paralysis.  Especially as I started a new job where I’m much, much busier (but happier) in October.  I would find myself staring at the fact that I’d have to make the decision on What To Make For Dinner and dreading it more and more.  It wasn’t really the cooking I hated, but the deciding what to cook, which got me into the lack of variety rut.  More often than I’d like to admit I’d just make a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese or like... just... toast... for dinner because the decision-making part of my brain was tired... or out of spoons as the kids say these days.

This is maybe my favorite part of Hello Fresh overall.  Once every week or two I log onto HF, pick what I’m going to eat like... 5 or 6 weeks in the future, which I can do at a time when I have that decision-making energy, and forget about it.  Every Monday a box shows up on my doorstep, I see what nice things I picked out for myself several weeks ago, and the most I have to decide is which order I will make those things in.

So when it’s a “Make Dinner” day, I don’t have that “shit, I have to make a decision” feeling.  I already know because I pre-planned it back when I wasn’t at the end of a long workday.  It’s one of those small, dumb things that really really helps me mentally in an almost inexplicable way.  And I can feel better about myself because I didn’t eat something dumb for dinner.  And I still allow myself to make easy things for lunch, like a small frozen pizza, a sandwich and some chips, or hey, Kraft Dinner.  And sometimes I do make a big pot of Spaghetti or something that I love and will just have that for lunch every day for a week, and so I don’t have to feel like I’m always cooking.

And on Eat HF Leftovers For Dinner nights, that’s even better, because I have a tasty meal and it just had to get reheated in the microwave or stovetop.  Some meals are easy to half-prepare ahead of time on day one, and just do the last steps on leftover night the next night to have fresher dinner easily.

 Just 5 out of 5 stars here.  This is my favorite part.

Reason Three: Eat More Vegetables.

Uh, yeah, I’m terrible about eating veggies on my own.  The best I can do usually is buy a bag of mixed greens and try to have a side salad with dinner, or buy bags of frozen foods and hope they come with veggies I’d eat. 

So the good thing here, is that when HF sends me vegetables to make, if it’s a veggie I like, I’ll probably make it.

The big problem, though, is that there’s no substitutions.  And I’m still not gonna eat brussell sprouts or, broccoli, or mushrooms. I was a sport and tried making them (except the mushrooms) the first time I got recipes that used them as sides.  And nope... still cant.

But hey, I have done a lot better at eating more fresh green beans, and onions, and carrots, and peppers.  Though sometimes I just snack on the bell pepper instead of cooking it. Still, I call it a win.

I really, really wish I could trade out the side-dish vegetables I know I won’t eat for like, a small side salad, an apple, or hey, even just... carrots!  But nope, no substitutions. =\  I’d score this way better if we could do so.

Still, I’m doing better here, and overall, more vegetables are being eaten.  So, 3 out of 5 stars.

Reason Four: Waste Less Food

The amount of fruit and vegetables I’ve ordered and thrown away over the last year make me cringe.  I would order things with every intention of eating them and then just... not.  Oh yeah I need two lemons, an orange and two limes in case I make ____ recipe!  I need a new bag of baby carrots to snack on and make a side dish and cut into a salad! 

And then I maybe... maybe use half of that before it goes bad.

Probably less.  Because of the Analysis Paralysis and not trying new things.  You run into that problem where you don’t have the ingredients on hand to make a new thing so you can’t make a new thing... but then you buy them but forgot (crucial thing) so the thing still doesn’t get made.  Or you just... don’t plan when you’re gonna make the thing and by the time I’d be like “Oh yeah I should make something with those vegetables” they’d have already turned.

SO... I felt shitty throwing away so much produce, and loaves of bread, and other perishable food that got maybe half-eaten.  So much, for so long.  Yeah, I know I could do better with my meal planning, but it’s been one of those things I always vow to do, and then did not do that thing.

Doing HF has really made me re-evaluate what I buy as groceries, and I have cut way down on ordering unnecessary produce and perishables like bread.  Because I don’t really have to worry about dinner and am allowing myself to do easy lunches that don’t require real “cooking.”  So, overall I am definitely buying and tossing less food.

Also just as another quick note -- what also tends to get tossed out of my HF boxes is a “spicy ingredient”  But in some ways, this works in HF’s favor.  I don’t really like spicy foods.  A small amount of spice is OK but I’d rather just do without it in most things, sorry I’m that white girl.  Most “Spicy” HF meals get spicy by a spice blend, a packet of sriracha / hot sauce, or a jalapeno which they want you to cut up and include.  So whenever I see something that looks good but listed as “spicy”, I can check the ingredient list first and see what makes it spicy, If I think the thing still sounds good without the spicy part, I can order it.  So yeah, I’ll toss spicy ingredients, but that is 100% my choice and it makes things better because it gives me more variety to order those meals and still make it to my own taste.

Oh, and occasionally, the produce is just bad when you get it or not long after.  I haven’t had this problem often, mostly with ginger and garlic.  I do evaluate which meal has the most perishables when I get my box on Mondays and make those first.  Apparently you can call customer service if this happens for a small credit, but I just use pre-diced garlic or powdered ginger when this has happened to me.

So, this would be a 4.5 out of 5 except for... as discussed above... I end up tossing out HF vegetables on occasion I know I hate and won’t eat, and they won’t let me make substitutions. 

But also... cooking for myself... when I make a big batch of something that lasts 4 - 6 portions... more often than I’d like to admit, the last portion or two would never get eaten.  Sometimes I’d TELL myself I’d eat them in a week or so and freeze them only to throw it all away months later.

So let’s call this a 4 out of 5.  Overall, significantly less food waste with HF.

Reason Five: Save Time

I thought that doing HF would mean less prep-work and less time in the kitchen, especially with their easy-to-follow recipes and pre-measured ingredients.

So in that way, yes, time is saved, and it so again takes that mental load off in a lot of ways of not having to make all those pesky decisions.  The materials you’re working with and what you need to do are all Right There for you.  It’s really, nice.

As a side note, like I said I’m a good cook, and I haven’t had any problems following along anything I’ve made, but there were a few things I think are more of a moderate skill level and could be a little challenging for newcomers.  But then, I see people on the HF subreddit all the time saying they learned to cook with no skill and they find the recipes easy so... we’re good there.

However, Saving Time loses points for two big reasons:

First, I’m only making two portions of each meal.  Which, ok... this is my decision.  I could order four portions per meal.  But then... hey that’s taking big points away on the “variety” front. 

The Vegetable Chopping / prep work on a lot of the recipes often takes 10 - 20 minutes, depending on the number of fruits and veggies.  So yay for meeting Goal #3 (more veggies) even if it is balanced out by Goal #5.

And unfortunately, most meals end up taking up more dishes than I’d like to clean up (usually at least a pan and baking sheet, sometimes also a pot.  Plus knife, cutting board, tongs, stirring spoon, maybe a zester, etc.)  So no time is saved on cleanup, either.

Mostly where time is saved is having to pick out recipes and making sure you have/buy all the ingredients.  Not much is saved in the actual cooking.

I do, however, enjoy the time I spent cooking and the knowledge that I’m gonna make something good, so we’ll give it a bit back, there.

As a time saver, I’d give HF a 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Reason Six: Save Money

Y’all, Hello Fresh is expensive.  Honestly the #1 reason I re-evaluate whether I want to keep going with it every few weeks is the cost.  Even though I can afford it.

For basically six meals a week, I’m paying $63 for the food, plus $9 for the shipping.

Which means I’m paying $12 a meal.  For food I make myself.

Not cheap.  A luxury.

Where I don’t feel quite so bad about it is the fact that... for the most part, I am wasting a lot less food.  Except, as mentioned, when I can’t swap out vegetables I hate for something I’d actually eat.

So that makes it irk me even more when I am throwing out vegetables I really hate, because they’re expensive vegetables.

Also that price tag is motivation to make and eat every meal.

Overall, my grocery bills have gone down... honestly pretty significantly.  Because I’m not overbuying food!  Now, they haven’t gone down enough to even out the cost for Hello Fresh... I’m still probably spending about 50% more overall for each dinner now than I was before.

This isn’t a cost savings.  It’s an expense, but one I can afford.  And part of writing out this post is to remind myself to decide when the experience is no longer worth the expense.

1 out of 5 stars.

Reason Seven: Eat Better

I would like to challenge myself to define “Better” because that’s all I wrote down when I made the list.

Healthier?  Eeeehhhhhh.... maybe?  But not much.

Hello Fresh does offer lighter choices, and sometimes I pick those because they look good and are filled with things I will eat!

But I’m just as likely to pick the most calor-ific things on the menu.

HF also adds a lot of Sour Cream to their recipes, and encourage you to salt and butter your food liberally.  I try to cut down on some of this where I think it’s too much.  But sometimes there’s not much to cut out and still have the meal you ordered.

But also I’m not eating any worse calorie-wise than I was before, probably.  And overall I’m eating a lot more “real food” instead of “packaged food” and fast food than I was.... especially pre-pandemic.  And again, I AM eating a lot more vegetables, so.... that’s... better?

If I define better as Tastier, yeah, I’m doing pretty good in that regard, haha. 

So Better as in healthier: 2.5 of 5 stars.

Better as in tastier: 4 out of 5 stars.

Overall Scoring & Tips

Okay, overall that comes out to a 3.18 out of 5, which I’d round up to a 3.5... which is a pretty good score for how I feel about HF overall.  My current plan is to keep doing it until I go back to working in the office again, and re-evaluate.  For now, it works for me.

IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT, this is my referral link, you’ll get $70 off over a month’s worth of meals (so like, $20 or something off 3 boxes and $10 off the last one, something like that. 

I also have four “Free box” codes to give out, PM me if you want one of those.  I don’t think those are compatible with the $70 off link, but it might be a box of completely free food for you?  I don’t know how it works, but this may be the better deal?  PM me.

If you decide to go for it, here’s a few tips:

Every week or two, go in and choose your meals, don’t let HF choose for you unless you really don’t care.

Read the ingredient list and make sure there’s not too much stuff you don’t like coming in a meal.

The extras are pretty expensive and not really worth it.

Plan on each meal taking about 45 minutes to cook from start to finish including chopping vegetables.  Another 10 - 20 with cleanup depending if you have to handwash dishes or not.

Look for ways to make the meal healthier, especially if it encourages you to add more butter and salt near the end.  You probably do NOT need to do so.

Buy a decent pepper.  I love McCormick’s Peppercorn Medley pepper grinder.  Also sea salt grinder is my personal salt preference.

Add some of your own seasonings.  I buy a jar of pre-diced garlic (yes yes I know the criticisms of the stuff but it’s easy) and throw in a half tablespoon or so of that into a lot of recipes.  Also there are a lot of potatoes that they want you to just cook with olive oil, salt and pepper.  Throw some garlic or onion salt on them, or some Lawry’s Seasoning Salt or steak salt of your choice for some variety.

Your basic 2 quart pot, 8 - 12″ frying pan and cookie sheet, plus a cutting board, decent veggie knife, and typical kitchen utensil set are all you need.  However, a decent meat thermometer and a zester that collects the zest as you go are both highly recommended. 

A sieve and very small rice cooker have also been a lifesaver for making good rice that doesn’t get overcooked.

#personal post tag thingy #hello fresh #food #meal kit #meal kits

[vampiregirl1797]

When Your Soulmate Walks into a Club

Lucifer Morningstar x female soulmate reader

GIF not mine.

I apologise for any spelling mistakes.

For my Masterlist, click here.

Summary: Y/N is befriended by Maze, and after a few months finds herself helping her new demon friend out with bartending. This is how she meets him, Lucifer Morningstar, in all his glory. Of course, she already knows the truth of his identity, and finds herself becoming entangled in a discussion with the devil that has him in awe of Maze’s new friend. Before they part, Lucifer sees a name he hasn’t gone by in centuries tattooed on her wrist: Samael. When he learns her name, he knows he’s just met his soulmate. But she remains unaware. Will Lucifer tell her the truth?

 I shook my head in amusement at Maze’s antics as she growled at yet another sweaty man who’d hit on her in the past five minutes. How any of them thought that pig-headed comments, and sexual promises that none of them looked like they had the stamina to live up to would entice my demon friend was beyond me.

 ‘How many more have to hit on you before you transform and scare them so bad that they pee themselves?’ I asked with mirth.

 The demon beauty rolled her eyes, but a small smile revealed itself on her lips, assuring me that I’d cooled her irritation at least a little.

 ‘The risk will become a lot higher if the new girl that Lucifer hired doesn’t show up for her shift and take some of the sexual objectification off me.’ She muttered, taking the quiet moment to restock some of the glasses and wipe down the spillages off the bar.

‘Don’t worry, if the new unreliable bartender your boss hired doesn’t show, I can help out. I’m only here to hang out with you anyway,’ I said, leaning forward on the bar so she could still hear me as she moved to check the what bottles needed restocking behind her.

 ‘You are wonderful.’ Maze said, offering me a rare sincere smile as she turned around, allowing me to see her rolling her eyes, ‘I don’t know when Lucifer is going to learn his lesson. This will be the fourth girl he’s hired who hasn’t bothered to show up. At this rate, I should hire you, you work here just as much as I do.’

 ‘You know I don’t mind helping out when I can.’ I checked the time and realised that I had time to go to the bathroom before the night rush arrived, ‘give me five minutes to go to the restroom and I’ll be back.’

 She only nodded, distracted by a woman wanting to buy a round of drinks for herself and her friends.

 Maze and I had been friends for a few months now. I met her after I’d moved to L.A. I’d been living here for about three months, and as I worked as a freelance writer it meant that I spent most of my time working from home. So, I hadn’t had the chance to make any friends, and I was feeling a little lonely. Somehow I found myself wondering into Lux, sitting at the bar, and receiving a lot of free drinks because Maze said seeing my depressed expression was making her “want to punch” or “throw up.” So she settled for getting me drunk to make me happier, and took the time to listen to my drunken, lonely ramblings when most of the crowd had cleared out. I listened to her complain about her boss’ neglectful behaviour towards his duties—at the time I thought she meant as the manager of Lux, but I’d come to learn later that she was talking about his duties as the devil.

 Maze had told me about her true form after a month of friendship, though to be fair, she had made a lot of references to hell but I hadn’t taken them at face value until she’d transformed in front of me. After that had happened, and I’d gotten over the shock of what I’d seen, I listened as she explained everything to me. How she was a demon, who’d followed Lucifer, the devil, through the gates of hell and found herself in L.A. She’d been surprised at how well I’d taken it, but Maze had been a good friend to me, and the fact that she was something I’d thought was mythical until I’d met her, wasn’t going to change her importance in my life. Despite all of this, I hadn’t met the infamous Lucifer, but with what Maze had told me about his womanizer ways, I wasn’t in a hurry to.

 I shook myself out of my thoughts as I washed my hands in the sink. Once they were dry, I pulled my hair up into a ponytail using the hair tie on my wrist before heading back to the bar. I quickened my pace when I noticed the crowd that was starting to grow around the bar, like bees returning back to their nest.

 ‘I’m here.’ I shouted out, smiling when I noticed Maze’s shoulders relax slightly.

 The next six hours passed in a rush of orders, a blur of faces and a drunken slur of sexual comments from men and a few women. Maze and I shared a shot of tequila when the crowd filled down to the last few customers.

 ‘It’s getting busier and busier. Which is good for the boss, but not so good for those responsible for making sure everyone gets served.’ I sighed, taking a huge gulp of the ice water I’d just poured myself.

 ‘Tell me about it.’ Maze muttered, shaking her head, anger present on her face.

 ‘You know, if you were serious about me working here, I wouldn’t mind taking you up on the offer.’ I slid on top of the bar, my front facing Maze who was stood behind it, counting the money in the register.

 ‘Really? What about your other job?’ She asked, shooting someone approaching the bar a dirty look—I didn’t bother to turn to see who it was, Maze was scary when she wanted to be, so he or she wouldn’t approach unless they had a death wish.

 ‘I usually work on that during the day, so working here at night wouldn’t be a problem for me if you need the help.’

 ‘That would be amazing. Thank you, Y/N.’ She glared at someone over my shoulder.

 ‘No problem.’

 ‘I’m gonna go put this money in the safe.’ She said, abruptly taking the cash and storming off towards the back room where the safe was held.

 I shuffled off the bar, about to start to collect the glasses that people had abandoned on various flat surfaces throughout the club, when I realised there was someone standing and waiting to be served. I had to force my expression to remain blank, but on the inside I was taken aback by how attractive he was. He was wearing a black suit, sans tie, with a crisp white shirt that seemed to make his brown eyes pop against his olive complexion. His brown hair looked soft and I had to force the mental image of running my fingers through his hair from my brain before it could show on my face. He was smirking at me, as if he knew what I was thinking, and I cleared my throat to speak before the pick up line could come out of his mouth.

 ‘What can I get you?’ I asked, happy with how steady my voice was.

 ‘Well, love, I wouldn’t mind a drink of you,’ his eyes travelled over me slowly, lingering on my breasts, ‘you look absolutely delicious.’

 ‘Well I am not on the menu, so please order a beverage I would be willing to serve you, or leave.’ I said, my tone firm.

 ‘Forgive my brash behaviour, darling.’ His eyes seemed to sparkle with mirth as he tapped his fingers on the bar, ‘I’ll have a double bourbon please.’

 I nodded, grabbing a glass and pouring the drink, ‘do you want ice?’ I asked over my shoulder.

 ‘No, thank you.’

 I turned around and shot him a look when I caught him staring at my ass.

 ‘Listen, it’s not gonna happen, so if you wanna keep receiving drinks free from something other than the drink you ordered, you’re gonna wanna stop undressing me with your eyes.’ I cocked my brow and slid his drink over to him.

 I bit back a smile at the surprise that formed on his face before mirth took over and he laughed loud enough for me to hear over the music that was playing in the background. The sound was warm, delighted and as much as I hated to admit it… contagious. I bent over to pick up the bowl used to collect glasses, and got on with my task—mostly to hide grin on my face. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked around the club, collecting the stray dishes and politely reminding customers that we were closing soon. By the time they were collected, everyone but sexy suit was gone. I reminded him, just like everyone else, but he just smirked and continued to sip his drink at an annoyingly slow pace. I rolled my eyes and started to load the dishwasher, promising myself that if he wasn’t gone by the time I was done, I was kicking him out either way.

 ‘So, darling, tell me what’s your name?’ He asked, and I couldn’t help but wonder how he could make such a simple sentence sound so seductive.

 ‘Jasmine,’ I said, bending over to carefully place some wine glasses in the bottom rack.

 ‘Hmm… Something tells me you’re not being honest.’ He said, a disapproving lilt to his tone.

 ‘Well I’ve learned not to give my real name to horny guys in clubs.’ I shot him a sarcastic smile before returning to my task, ‘it makes men think that you want them to look you up, call you a hundred times a day with sexually repulsive comments that they think makes them irresistible.’

 ‘Sounds like I’ve hit a nerve.’ He sounded less disapproving now, and more understanding, ‘though I assure you my interest was partially professional.’

 ‘I am not a stripper, or a prostitute.’ I said, my tone clearly frustrated. You’d be surprised at how often men in L.A. thought women were for hire.

 ‘Oh darling, I didn’t think you were.’ I turned to face him and relaxed at the sincerity in his expression, ‘I was merely wondering who you were, seeing as you’re not the bartender I hired to start tonight.’

 That made me pause. Not the bartender he hired? That meant this was Lucifer, Maze’s boss who was also the devil. I pursed my lips, giving him another glance over. I suppose it made sense for the devil to be so sexy, right? I mean, who wouldn’t want to dabble with their darkest desires if the guy asking looked like that?

 ‘Excuse me, I’m not sure how I feel about you sexually objectifying me so openly,’ his teasing tone snapped me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to see the dark smirk on his face, ‘actually, yes I am, I love it—please continue.’ He winked.

 I rolled my eyes, ‘I wasn’t mentally undressing you, but I was just questioning my lack of surprise at the devil being so attractive.’

 He blinked in surprise for a moment, before his signature smirk appeared. Although, he seemed delighted this time.

 ‘You know, despite my sincerity over the topic, most don’t believe that I am who I say I am.’ He said, leaning further forward on the bar. I stayed where I was, leaning against the back counter with my arms crossed over my chest.

 ‘That’s because most humans are ignorant to the existence of entities and beings that are more powerful than them. That, and your existence adheres to another world that most people aren’t willing to accept exists.’ I shrugged as if it were obvious, which to me it was. Just because I was more open minded than most, I couldn’t deny that I understood the simplicity of ignorance.

 ‘You’re an interesting little thing, aren’t you?’ he said. I didn’t know what it was, but something in his tone made me want to squirm.

 ‘Do you do that all the time, or am I just special?’ I sighed, pulling the hair tie out of my hair and putting it back around my wrist. I ran my fingers through my hair, holding back a groan of pleasure at the feeling after having it tied up for so long.

 ‘Do what?’ he asked. I didn’t notice the way his eyes lingered on my hair, or how my expression relaxed now my hair was free and no longer giving me headache.

 ‘Put a sexual implication behind everything you say?’ I clarified, genuinely curious. I took his empty glass and moved to refill it, continuing the conversation as I did, ‘I mean, is that a devil thing or a Lucifer thing?’

 His head tilted to the side in what appeared to be amused confusion, ‘well I’m both of those titles, so I’m not sure I know what you mean.’

 I laughed, conceding that he had a point, ‘I mean that everyone has aspects that make up their personality. The devil is a part of who you are, but in some ways isn’t it a separate person all together? I mean there has to be things that you had to do as the devil that you didn’t necessarily enjoy, or even want to do, but you have to because it’s expected of you, right? At least when you were in hell punishing people for their sins.’ I attempted to explain, my attention on pouring some water for myself as I spoke, having already handed him his drink, ‘so… is you putting sexual implications behind everything you say because you, Lucifer Morningstar, are a sexual person, or because you think it’s expected of you as the devil? Because I’d imagine it’s hard to separate, seeing as you were Lucifer before you were the devil, but then you’ve been the devil for so long too, so it’s understandable that those different parts of you would merge and intermingle to a point that a whole new you, a whole new Lucifer is created. Am I making any sense?’

 I took a sip of my water and finally looked at him—I couldn’t hold back a blush at the look of awe that was on his face. I cleared my throat and placed my glass onto the bar, idly wondering when I’d moved closer to him as I tried not to spill my drink with my suddenly shaking hand.

 ‘Did I say something wrong?’ I asked, my forehead wrinkling in concern.

 He cleared his throat, ‘no, you didn’t, I’m just surprised.’

 ‘At my ability to blabber about something that absolutely none of my business?’ I chuckled, hoping he wasn’t offended, ‘just tell me to shut up, it’s fine.’

 ‘No, no, I admire your honesty, actually. I was just taken aback by your understanding.’ He admitted quietly.

 ‘How do you mean?’ I frowned, taking another drink of my water.

 ‘Most people immediately dismiss the devil as evil and as someone who delights in the pain and misfortune of others.’ He explained.

 I felt myself soften at the vulnerable look on his face, and had to stop myself from climbing over the bar and onto his lap to hug him. Instead I settled for placing my hand gently on top of the one he was staring it. I offered him a soft smile when he looked up to meet my gaze.

 ‘Those people probably haven’t been educated about the true story. Most people just hear God and associate it with heaven, and hear Devil and immediately think of Hell.’ I looked down at my hand on top of his is I thought, ‘if they knew the real story, I’m sure they’d think differently. And if they still didn’t, will then that’s their own stupidity and ignorance holding them back from empathy and understanding.’

 He chuckled and I was pleased to see the despair disappear from his expression to be replaced with mirth. I slowly withdrew my hand, not wanting to overstep any boundaries, but I couldn’t deny that I missed his warmth when I started polishing glasses.

 ‘You, my dear are…’ he trailed off and I offered him a look when he didn’t continue. He simply chuckled and asked, ‘so are you going to tell me your name?’

 ‘Y/N Y/L/N.’

 His eyes sparkled and his grin became less seductive and more… happy. So happy, that I couldn’t help but be dazzled by his genuine beauty for a moment, before I became confused.

 ‘Lucifer Morningstar, pleased to meet you.’ He held out his hand and I offered him my own, fighting the urge to close my eyes at his warm touch. But I startled when he flipped my arm so he could read the inside of my wrist, where my soulmate tattoo was.

 Samael.

 His expression gave nothing away, but he ran his thumb gently over it before releasing me and downing the rest of his drink.

 I opened my mouth, but he cut me off before I could speak, which I was actually relieved about, because I didn’t have a clue what was going to come out of my mouth.

 ‘It’s been a pleasure, Y/N. I’ll be seeing you around darling.’ He offered me a smile that made my breath catch and then he was gone.

 ‘Y/N?’ Maze’s voice snapped me out of the staring contest I was having with the chair he’d been sitting in, ‘what happened?’

 ‘I, ugh, just met Lucifer.’ I said, my voice sounding more sure than I was.

 /Three Months Later/

 ‘Is Lucifer here?’ I looked over to see a slender blonde woman with blue eyes. She was dressed in a dark blue pantsuit with a pale pink blouse. I wondered if it was just me who could tell she was a cop with a glance. This must be the infamous Chloe Decker.

 ‘Haven’t seen him, but you’re more than welcome to wait in the V.I.P booth. He’s the only one that uses it and you’re less likely to get groped over there.’ I told her, pouring her an ice water and tying a plastic golden coloured bracelet around her wrist. Lucifer was the only one allowed in there without a wristband, seeing as he owned the club and the bouncers knew his face by now.

 ‘That would be great, thanks.’ She said, clearly taken aback by my kindness.

 I gestured the bouncer, Eric, over and had him escort her to the booth. It was pretty packed tonight, and it was easier for a six-foot Caucasian man to wade through the crowd than it would be for her.

 ‘Just give me a wave if you need a refill on your water and I’ll have someone bring one over to you.’ I smiled and offered a wave as she was led away.

 ‘I don’t like her.’ Maze’s blunt voice sounded in my ear. I turned my head, unsurprised to see her standing right next to me.

 ‘Why?’ I wondered, continuing the conversation as I served a few other customers.

 ‘Because, she has Lucifer walking on egg shells to prove to her that he is who he says he is.’ Maze said, her voice cracking like a whip through the air, ‘she’s seen time stop, him throw someone through a glass pane with minimal effort and saw him walk away from a mad man with a gun unscathed. Why should he have to preform like a show pony to get her to accept the truth?’

 ‘He shouldn’t.’ I agreed with her, not liking detective Decker for that reason myself, ‘but he’ll only stop when and if he decides that he doesn’t need her validation.’

 ‘What do you mean?’ Maze asked, tossing me a bottle of tequila that I caught without looking.

 ‘I mean that she’s not the first to not believe him and he’s not cared with all those other people. So until he realizes he doesn’t need Chloe’s belief to validate who he is, he’s gonna carry on dancing like a show monkey for her.’

 ‘You’re right.’ Maze didn’t sound happy about it, ‘it’s just annoying. He was the devil before he met her, just because she won’t accept the truth, it doesn’t mean he’s not the ruler of the underworld anymore.’

 I sighed, running a hand through my hair in frustration, ‘am I the only one seeing the obvious here?’

 ‘Go on, tell me,’ she winked.

 ‘We both know there is one way he could convince her that she wouldn’t be able to dispute.’ I tossed her a bottle of vodka that she caught expertly, ‘the fact that he’s done just about everything else to convince her tells us what?’

 ‘Can you just tell me? I’d prefer if I didn’t have to think.’ She sighed.

 ‘He’s scared that he’s going to chase her away if he shows her his other form.’ I said, trying to keep the sadness from my tone, ‘he likes her.’

 Maze didn’t reply and I figured that meant that she wasn’t interested in the conversation topic anymore. So I carried on serving customers with a forced smile, trying to hold onto my patience with the drunken sleazy customers. Thankfully the night passed by rather quickly, and I managed it without staring at Chloe and Lucifer talking cozily in his V.I.P booth. Honestly, why was he so interested in her anyway? She was never going to be able to accept him for who he was, and he deserved someone that could do that.

 It was later, when we reached 2am, and we’d just kicked out the last customers—aside from Lucifer and Chloe who were still whispering in his booth—that I realized Maze had been interested in the topic, she was just waiting until she could grill me properly.

 ‘You like Lucifer.’ She said bluntly—typical Maze fashion.

 Caught off guard by her statement, the glass I’d been holding dropped to the floor with a crash as I squeaked, rather loudly, ‘what?’

 ‘Everything okay, darling?’ Lucifer asked, making my face colour a deep red. Thankfully, he couldn’t see it as I was behind the bar, gingerly picking up the pieces of broken glass, whilst ignoring the demon’s victorious smirk.

 ‘I’m fantastic, thanks Lucifer.’ I sighed, my tone less bright than I would’ve liked.

 ‘Well, that confirms what I already suspected.’ Maze grinned.

 ‘Fine, you’re right.’ I stood up, tossing the broken glass in the recycling bin, fighting the urge to look over into his booth, ‘but what does it matter? He’s infatuated with the cop.’

 ‘You’re an idiot.’ She shook her head and wondered off to collect glasses.

 I rolled my eyes, but was unable to hold back the fond smile that formed on my lips as I started counting up the cash. I’d just come up with my total when I noticed a certain blonde finally leaving the club.

 ‘What’s the matter darling?’ I jumped when I heard his voice right behind me and spun around, my hand going to my heart in an attempt to calm the racing beat.

 ‘You mean other than you scaring me to death?’ I questioned sarcastically, casually stepping around him and bagging up the money from tonight.

 ‘Don’t be so dramatic,’ he chuckled, leaning on the bar next to where I was working, ‘now what’s gotten you looking so forlorn?’

 ‘It’s nothing.’ I waved him off, surprised when he started to follow me to the safe, ‘how was your night?’

 ‘Dreadfully dull I’m afraid.’ He said, holding the door for the backroom open for me and winking when I smiled gratefully.

 ‘You looked like you were having a good time.’ I mumbled, annoyed at my inability to keep the sadness from my tone.

 He seemed oblivious to my tone however, ‘not really. Just going over the details of the latest murder case that I’ve heard about twenty times since yesterday. Detective Decker is a tad obsessive.’

 ‘I see.’ I sighed, closing the safe door with more force than necessary.

 ‘Y/N.’ The concern in his voice made me pause at the doorway, ‘please tell me what’s wrong.’

 ‘It’s stupid, Lucifer and I don’t want to bore you with the silly little details.’ I said sincerely. I had fallen for him, and it couldn’t be more obvious that he didn’t feel the same. I needed to work through my feelings on my own, and I didn’t want to bother him with them.

 A shot of warmth shot through my body when he placed a gentle hand to my shoulder to turn me around, ‘that’s the most absurd thing you’ve ever said, darling. I would never think your feelings are silly or insignificant. Now, tell me what’s troubling you.’

 ‘I-I,’ I sighed, looking away from his warm brown eyes that were full of concern, ‘I have feelings for you.’

 I took a step back after my admission, my hands coming to my face in shock—I just admitted that out loud!

 ‘That’s why I’ve been in a weird mood tonight, because seeing you with Chloe is hard for me, especially because she’s making you jump through hoops just to get her to believe that you are who you say you are, and you deserve better than that. You deserve to be accepted for who you are, and seeing your obvious infatuation for her just hurts—You know what? I’m just gonna go.’ I said a little breathless from my rambling. I turned and grabbed the doorknob, but Lucifer’s next works made me pause.

 ‘Before I was cast out to rule the underworld, I went by Samael.’

 My left hand went to my wrist, tracing over the name that decorated the skin. I turned around and walked over to him, taking his right hand in mine and mimicking the action he had done to me all those months ago to reveal his tattoo.

 Y/N.

 ‘You knew, when you saw my tattoo, you know.’ I whispered, looking up into his eyes that were filled with so much love and adoration I could feel my heart melting in my chest.

 ‘I did. I wanted to say something then, but I was in denial.’ He sighed running his left hand through his hair, his right hand still resting in my hold.

 ‘Why?’

 ‘Because, my dear, when I first saw you that night, I knew you were beautiful and after I talked to you, I knew you were empathetic, kind and understanding. Already you were completely out of my league, but I still wanted you to be mine, and when you told me your name, I’d hoped to see my name on your wrist.’ He smiled, cupping the side of my face tenderly, ‘when I did, I felt like I didn’t deserve you, I didn’t deserve to be loved in the unconditional way that I just knew you would love me.’

 ‘That’s exactly how I’m going to love you, Lucifer, because that’s how you deserve to be loved. I love that you’re the devil, because that’s a part of who you are, just like your kindness, your compassion and your strong morality are all parts of you.’ I told him my hands cupping either side of his face, my thumbs gently wiping away the tears that fell from his eyes.

 ‘I love you, Y/N.’ He whispered.

 ‘I love you too, Lucifer.’ I replied my hands lifting to tangle in his hair as he sealed his lips over mine. I was right—his hair was softer than I ever could have imagined.

 He kissed me gently, his hands falling to my hips to pull my body flush against his. I was powerless to stop myself from tugging on his hair when his hands glided to my ass, squeezing and enticing a moan from me.

 ‘Naughty girl.’ He smirked, lifting me so that I could wind my legs around his waist.

 ‘Shut up, like you’re one to talk.’ I countered, tugging on his hair and raising my brow when a sound that was a mixture of a groan and a growl fell from his mouth.

 ‘You make a good point darling.’ He chuckled, slanting his mouth over mine.

 This kiss was filled with so much passion that I was glad he’d picked me up, because my knees suddenly felt weak. As we continued to kiss, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed for the love I felt for him, and the love I could tell he felt for me. I felt it in his touch, in his kisses. I saw it in his eyes when he tenderly looked at me when we paused for breath. I heard it in his gentle murmurings as we spoke until early hours that morning. It shone out of him, like a beacon and when he informed me that one of the other names he used to go by was The Lightbringer, I found myself unsurprised. Light shone out of him in a way that was fiery, warm and unstoppable and I wondered how I had noticed this in his humor, compassion and even his seductive tones, but before tonight I’d never noticed his obvious love for me in his gaze. I wondered if it was the same for him. If before tonight, he hadn’t noticed my love for him, and now he found himself almost blinded by it. I hoped it stayed that way forever—that our shared love would continue to shine and flourish. Because that was how he deserved to be loved—unconditionally and in a way that was so obvious that he never had to question my love for him. I found a promise to myself, and to him, forming in my heart in that moment—to make sure he knew how loved he was at all times. And you can be damned sure that I would live up to that promise.

#lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar x soulmate reader #lucifer

[cheshiremadd]

Superfluous

AO3

Chapter 2 A flashback already?!

-

sometime late last year

Chat found her at Patrol Starting Spot #13, looking for all the world like she intended to become this generation’s Thinker statue. She didn’t turn her head or acknowledge him as he approached. Even when he took a seat beside her, she stared resolutely forward.

He slowly leaned against her, giving her the opportunity to pull away. He gave her his full weight when she didn’t, putting his chin on her shoulder. “What’s the matter, Bug? Wanna talk about it?”

She stayed quiet. Chat gave her a bit of a head nudge and prompted again. “Or I could talk about my problems? They are many, and I can make more when I run out.”

“Love problems.” It was a soft warning, her accompanying shrug saying that he could give the conversation a pass if he wanted.

Chat, though, apparently liked pain and heartache. So of course he pressed on. “Ah, trouble with the boyfriend? Wonder Boy not everything he’s cracked up to be?”

And, wow, that wasn’t exactly how he meant for that to come out. They’d talked a lot about boundaries and relationships in general, and their boundaries and relationship specifically, and he hoped she knew that wasn’t meant to be a dig.

“I wouldn’t say we progressed to the ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ stage.” She trailed off. Scrubbed her face with her hands, and blew out a gust of air. She waved a hand, and Chat took his cue. He flopped away from her, keeping his butt in the same spot beside her but laying back across the rooftop.

“Oh, LB, I’ve got a big problem.” He ran his claws through the part of his hair that he could reach without moving too much. “So I don’t think I told you that my girlfriend and I broke up.”

Ladybug gasped and looked his way. “Oh, Chat. I’m so sorry.”

He waved her off. “Eh, don’t be. It kind of sucked, but it was very mutual. We both decided that we were better friends. She realized that, while she is- was- something interested in me, she also really likes women. And I realized that- well..”

He huffed.

“Look, I am not telling you all this so I can get another ‘I told you so’.” His hand mimicked a talking puppet with the phrase. He was very tired of it by now, thank you very much.

She pushed her arms in the air, stretching her back, and then leaned back with her arms to prop her up. “I won’t give you one if you’ll refrain from using it on me.”

“Deal. My good friend that I apparently talk about too much? She got a boyfriend right before we broke up. He’s a mutual and honestly a real nice guy. Very chill.”

Ladybug gave him a knowing look. She could already tell where this was going. She knew him too well, just like he knew her. He sighed.

“Yeah. I hated seeing the two of them together. Hate. Ongoing thing. Problem not resolved. I was -am- so jealous, and I didn’t understand why because I had just the tiniest crush on her, not a big deal, not any bigger than anyone else who knows this woman. Seriously, Bug, everyone who ever meets her gets at least a small crush on her. It’s a fact of life. Minus, you know, those who aren’t female attracted.”

She finally allowed herself to relax all the way back, laying on her side facing Chat. “I know someone like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm,” she nodded. “She’s kind. Very strong. Bold and determined. Sometimes she messes up, but she always tries. I would have wondered if she were Ladybug, if I weren’t.”

He shot her a bright grin. Such glowing praise for his princess! “Exactly! My Lady, I almost wonder if we’re talking about the same person.”

The air between them turned somber just as quickly. “We can’t confirm it.”

A reminder that was for her as much as it was for him.

“I know.”

Silence fell between them, the world as quiet as it was noisy. A city as big as Paris always had some activity going on, and this building was on a busier road. It was several minutes before Ladybug prodded him.

“So. Crush not as tiny as you previously thought?”

He covered his eyes with his forearm. Hoped against hope that the ground would just swallow him. “Noooo. Plagg was actually helpful for once. He suggested comparing my feelings for- well. To be perfectly candid, my Lady, he suggested comparing my feelings for each of you. And I-”

He sighed.

“I don’t even know when I started to love her.” The declaration came out softly. It still felt like betrayal to utter it. “I can’t think of a time where I didn’t think about her, strive for her approval, want to just..be in her presence.”

Ladybug let out a humorless laugh. “We just love to make life complicated, huh.”

She fell to her back and picked at her fingers.

“So, the jealousy is a problem?” She seemed to be grasping at whatever conversation threads she could find.

He shook his head. “No. I mean, it is. But not, like, in a way that’s going to cause problems for our relationship, or her relationship with her boyfriend. I’m doing better at keeping it a me problem.”

She turned over to lay on her belly. Buried her face in her arms.

“Did you really think she could be me?” And, yeah, she was definitely stalling.

“I considered the pawsibility once, my Lady, but I’ve seen the two of you at the same scratching post more than once. Unfurtunately for this poor Tom’s heart, it seems I’m destined to love two Queens, instead of one.” He could see her blush, which spread all the way to the tips of her ears. An interesting development. But she giggled, too, which had been his goal.

It was a long moment before she spoke again.

“I wasn’t dating Wonder Boy. I didn’t know that I’d given you that impression. He’s still as wonderful as ever.”

Oh. Yep. He could have this conversation. He would rock this conversation. He’d be the best, ever, at this conversation. He took a deep breath. She’s his best friend. He could do that for her.

“Everything was nice! My not-quite-boyfriend and I got along great. It was...calming. Easy. But my brain decided it was too easy.”

He released the breath in what he hoped was a measured way, and reached a hand over to rub between her shoulder blades. Just enough to give support without interrupting.

“I just. The anxiety wasn’t there, which was nice. But...I knew that if we ended it, I wouldn’t be heartbroken. I’d call one of my best friends and we’d use the excuse to stay up all night and eat too much ice cream. Maybe I’d cry a little. And I’d be okay the next day. He could stop being my friend, and that would honestly be awful, because he’s fun to hang around, but I know that I’d get through it.”

It was her turn to take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“It wouldn’t be like losing Wonder Boy...or you.”

Chat stopped the motion of his hand and stared at her.

“You’re one of my needs, Chat. Right up there with food and water and shelter. And Wonder Boy...I think it’d kill me if he walked out of my life.”

And wasn’t that just what he’d always wanted her to say. He’d heard her gush about Wonder Boy, and here she was placing them on the same level. Yet. He found that he was glad she’d never said it before. He loved Marinette, and he wanted to love her.

He turned over to match her, threw an arm over her, and did his level best to bury his head in her shoulder.

What a mess.

She turned to face him more. “Why are hearts so complicated, Chat?”

He shook his head against her, still not quite able to speak.

Sometimes they defined ‘patrol’ as training. Sometimes a break from hectic lives and grabbing a bite to eat. It was helping that little old lady over on Rue Clément Marot bring her flower pots in. And sometimes it was having an emotional conversation and keeping watch for butterflies.

They stayed like that for some time. Until he had to do something to change the mood, because his first priority had to be her, had to be them, and akumatization was not an option.

“Want to hear something funny?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Is it actually going to be funny?”

“Hey! Don’t lie! You cat get enough of my humor.”

“Yay. The low-hanging fruit puns.”

Chat narrowed his eyes and scrutinized her. She looked away and picked at her thumb. One of her nervous ticks. “You stole that line from Marinette!”

“Did I? Or did Marinette steal it from me?”

He paused at that, thoughtful. “Hmm. My princess is a majestic thief. But I’m certain that was her crowning jewel before it was yours.”

“Oh, all right,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “What was your ‘something funny’?”

“I don’t know if you deserve to hear now, after such blatant thievery from the Kingdom of the Pink Lands.”

Ladybug huffed. “Fine, don’t tell me.”

He chuckled, enjoying getting a rise out of her, before he told her anyway. “I wanted to break up after I figured out how much I liked my Good Friend, and that I was happier having my ex-girlfriend as a good friend. She wanted to break up because my Good Friend was her gay awakening.”

He heard a startled laugh, and turned to see Ladybug covering her mouth with her fist. “Way to ruin the moment, Chaton.”

He shrugged, unrepentant. “It needed ruining.”

-

two and a half months ago

Adrien lay on his bed, arm propping his head up, and stared at his phone. Pictures took up the screen. Kim walking towards the camera, holding Max and Ondine’s hands. The three sitting at a cafe table, Kim making exaggerated motions to Ondine, Max forgetting the computer in front of him to stare at him with her. Ondine and Max surprising Kim by kissing his cheeks.

The caption below the three pictures read: Sassinette: Look who Kagami and I ran into!

To Adrien’s knowledge, Max and Ondine weren’t interested in dating each other. But they got along well enough, and they both loved Kim, and they were okay with (encouraged, even!) Kim to love both of them. The arrangement worked for them. And Kim didn’t have to choose.

Adrien had never imagined having this problem. When he and Kagami started dating, he hadn’t dreamed that Ladybug might have feelings for him. Even when he and Kagami split, he didn’t know. But then that conversation happened, and they’d sat on the information for months. Each of them unwilling to pursue one while they still thought about both.

And now a crazy solution presented itself. Deceptively simple, until he considered the secret identities in play. Ladybug would understand, but could he ask Marinette to be in a polyamorous relationship when he couldn’t introduce the two?

A new message came through. Marinette’s text tone was reminiscent of collecting coins in a retro video game. He chose it for her because he felt like he was gaining every time she texted him, and she rocked at video games.

Sassinette: I think Mme. Tsurugi is warming up to me. She asked about the competition that I’m prepping for?

Sassinette: I mean Kagami and I were talking about it in her hearing, and all she asked about was who was putting it on, then nodded and said ‘They’re a prominent company; worthy of your time.’

Rapunzel: That’s not ‘warming up’, Maricakes. That’s downright approval.

He still smiled when he saw his contact name. Marinette had stolen his phone and changed it in retribution for what he did to hers.

“Disney Princess, golden hair, questionable parent.” She’d ticked each point with her fingers. “All you need are the magical powers!”

Joke’s on her. I do have magical powers.

….That he needed to use soon. Joint patrol started in twenty minutes.

His phone collected more coins.

Sassinette: I’m not convinced, but I kind of only care as far as it lets Kagami hang out without the subterfuge.

Sassinette: Between you and me, we’ll convince her of the importance of socializing with one’s peers!

He covered his eyes with his free forearm and whined. If he didn’t do something soon, Kagami was going to ask her out. He just knew it. She kept saying she wasn’t going to, that Marinette didn’t like her like that, but Adrien could see how well the two of them got along. They’d make such a cute couple.

Coins again.

Sassinette: Still alive over there? I’m getting up to take a shower and find food in a few minutes, in case you come back later and wonder why I’m not answering.

His eyebrows drew together. That was odd.

Rapunzel: Those sound like things I should be doing. No dinner with the parents tonight?

Sassinette: Wednesday night is their night to work on business accounts, and my night to sleep early!

He snorted and turned to his belly, gathered a pillow in his arms to lazily prop himself up.

Rapunzel: Tell me the truth. Are you actually going to sleep?

Sassinette: Your lack of faith astounds me! Of course I’m going to sleep! ….after I finish the rough draft of this commission.

“Soft and gooey Cancoillotte, you’re still mooning over your phone?”

Adrien startled at the harsh sound of Plagg’s voice in his ear.

“What do you mean, ‘still’? I haven’t been laying here for long.” It was funny how admitting to his crush on his good friend took most of the sting out of Plagg’s teasing.

The Kwami wasn’t buying any of his bullshit. “I napped near two hours. You haven’t moved.”

“I moved! I turned over.” He indicated his new position with a grin.

“You’ll miss Bugsy if you don’t move some more. Unless we’re skipping tonight. In which case I’m going back to napping.” Plagg exaggerated his yawn.

Adrien most certainly did not yelp and tangle his feet and fall out of his bed. And if Plagg told anyone he did, well, Plagg wasn’t always a reliable source for information.

#miraculous ladybug #Superfluous #ladynoir #adrienette #ladybug #chat noir #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #polyamory

[missjosie27]

Year 2 Part 1- Coming Back

Hey, guys! Year 2 of David Grant’s adventures at Hogwarts have begun! Not really much to say except thank you for your patience and I hope you all enjoy! Any feedback is welcome:)

David Grant stared outside of the window almost precisely three months after his last trip on the Hogwarts express, witnessing . The summer passed slowly, too slow for his own liking, but the time had come to return to the gargantuan institution once more and he could not have been more excited.

To be sure, he had not spoken of his adventures to his parents. Evidently, Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall felt it wasn’t important to inform them of the majority of his misdeed and run ins, something for which he was extremely grateful. His mother was overbearing and cautious as it was, and dad didn’t do much to counteract it. Other than family meals, or an occasional excursion into London to visit relatives, there wasn’t much to report from the Grant household. It also went without saying that he had also not mentioned being on Jacob’s trail. Though they only had one clue at the moment, it was enough and more than ever, David believed he was alive. Before his first year, he wouldn’t have even entertained the possibility. Now, he was determined to find the break through that would lead him to his long lost sibling and the vaults were the key.

His thought process brought him back to earth with Rowan prattling endlessly about his summer within their compartment.

“…she’s such a cute cat. Fuzzclaw is the real brains of the family I always say. Also my parents started growing another kind of wood made for a batch of wands. Ollivander just ordered a whole bunch.”

When David didn’t respond immediately, his friend waved a hand to grab his attention.

“Hello? Earth to David? Are you going to say something? I feel like I’ve been talking for over ten minutes.”

“That’s because you have.”

Rowan appraised him.

“You’re distracted and that usually means you’re thinking about your brother, the vaults, or both.”

“Good guess,” David replied. “Sorry, Rowan, I don’t mean to be rude. But my summer was…forgetful let’s just put it that way. Going back to Hogwarts, I have a lot on my mind.”

“Forgetful? Did anything bad happen?”

“More like it was just incredibly boring,” he shrugged. “Mum had us visit our relatives and my little cousins but I rarely had the opportunity to do, well, anything. The sooner we get back to Hogwarts, the happier I’ll be.”

“Too right. I’ve been running through our coursework this year. It should be slightly busier and more challenging than last year,” Rowan said excitedly. “I hope we get to learn more about giants.”

“If Binns doesn’t put me to sleep first, I’d share that sentiment.”

Laughing, Rowan chucked him a chocolate frog, which David began munching on before the spell could take effect.

“That reminds me, did you find anything more about those Aramaic ciphers?” he said through a mouthful of chocolate. “I couldn’t do much with my mum hovering about all the time.”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” his best friend answered. “I wish I had the book on me right now, but I can show it to you when we get to our dorms. But the basic gist is that the language was used by a sect of wizards back in the early Middle Ages, including Merlin. It’s enchantments and power were apparently greater than that of Latin, even though that’s what most wizards used around the time Hogwarts was founded.”

“That’s interesting,” David said genuinely. “Did it say anything about the vaults?”

Rowan shook his head.

“No, but there’s a lot of interesting history there and what the vaults could have or rather be hiding. Aramaic was also inscribed on ancient relics, including one that King Arthur personally searched for: The Holy Grail.”

David thought back a minute, the name sounding vaguely familiar.

“Hold on, isn’t that part of some muggle fairy tale?”

“It’s more than just a muggle fairy tale, Dave. Remember who advised King Arthur at the Court of Camelot? Merlin, arguably the greatest wizard who ever lived. I’ve read that story a million times and I love the adventures they go on. Especially their quest for the Grail.”

“You keep mentioning some sort of Grail.”

“King Arthur and his knights were Christian, which is the majority muggle religion in Britain,” Rowan explained. “The Grail was an important part of their faith.”

David had to admit, Rowan’s encyclopedic knowledge of these kinds of things came in handy and provided entertaining stories. But he failed to make the connection.

“That sounds brilliant and all, but what does a Christian relic have to do with the cursed vaults?”

“Everything,” Rowan said becoming more excited. “Because the Grail wasn’t some religious piece. It was real and created by Merlin himself! Supposedly it had all sorts of powers, and anyone who drank from it would be granted immortality. As I said, it was probably inscribed with ancient Aramaic like we found on the door. It could be one of the treasures hidden inside the vaults.”

This was all well and good, but believe it or not, the now second year Gryffindor held no interest in the concept of living forever. This ‘Holy Grail’ was actually quite fascinating, but it was not quite enough to go off of in terms of actually finding the vault or his brother.

“The treasure is irrelevant, Rowan,” he said firmly. “We need to discover the location of these stairs first and foremost before doing anything else. Jacob is the number one priority.”

“Of course,” the Indian preteen nodded. “Still, doesn’t mean it’s not fun to think about.”

“You read too much, Rowan.”

“And you don’t read enough,” his best friend chuckled.

David chucked the wrapper at him in jest. He peered around idly curious as to where some of their other friends were.

“Did you see Ben on the train, by the way? He should be sitting with us.”

“I caught a glimpse of him,” Rowan told him. “Last I saw he was talking with Bill Weasley about something.”

Well at least he’s in good hands

David was comforted knowing he was probably among those who would treat him well. While Ben had made great strides the previous year, he still didn’t like the idea of him running into any of the Slytherins on his own. Honing his full potential as a wizard would still take some time.

“Maybe we should say hello-”

At that moment, a crash and a muffled yelp could be heard outside the door. The two boys wasted no time in peeking out of the compartment to see what the ruckus was about, only for a blur of orange to stumble into them.

“Quick, shut the door!”

Only then did David realize that the blur was Charlie Weasley, who was grimacing and grabbing his shoulder.

“Charlie are you alright?”

“Never mind that, is the door shut?”

Rowan double checked that it was secure and gave a thumbs up.

“Good. Merlin, that freaked me out.”

“Slow down,” David said, pulling him up off the seat. “Just what the bloody hell happened?”

“I’m not sure, exactly,” Charlie said, still grabbing his shoulder. “I was just reading an article about Chinese Fireballs as I walked down the hallway. Must not have watched where I was going because I accidentally bumped into this Slytherin girl. Next thing I know, she’s firing hexes at me.”

“What did she hit you with?” Rowan pressed him urgently. “Maybe we should find a nurse.”

Charlie gave a wave of his wand.

“Nah, I’m fine. Worst she did was a stinging hex on my back. Though no doubt she was using deadlier stuff than that.”

“Any idea what she looked like?”

“Yeah, actually I do. Pale girl, recognized her from last year. Black hair covering half her face, a little freckly, with giant boots.”

David and Rowan looked at each other, gaging whether or not they were on the same page.

“Does that ring a bell, David?”

“Somewhat,” he said racking his memories. “She’s a Slytherin in our year. Real quiet, never says anything. I think her name is Ismelda.”

“That’s it,” Rowan confirmed. “I remember overhearing Professor McGonagall talk about her hexing a whole bunch of Gryffindors last year. Said she used spells that someone her age isn’t supposed to know.”

David raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Sounds like another Death Eater in training to me.”

Charlie shrugged as he grabbed a frog from the pile they had collected.

“Lots of Slytherins are gits, but I can’t imagine all of them are.”

“Trust me, the less of their presence I have to deal with, the better,” David frowned. “One in particular.”

“Merula,” Rowan answered for him. “I’m hoping a summer away from Hogwarts mellowed her out a bit.”

“That’s about as likely as a giant’s ass fitting through a straw.”

Charlie snorted as he laid back down on the seat.

“We’re not even halfway to Hogwarts and you both are carrying on about rubbish we don’t need to worry about just yet. Let’s relax and play some exploding snap or something.”

Charlie had a way of putting things into perspective and in the end David and Rowan acquiesced, putting aside the vaults, Merula and everything else. During the course of the game, they discovered their red headed friend’s desire to try out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, which was not surprising given his natural talent for flying.

“So you have a broom and everything?”

“Yeah,” Charlie said plainly. “But it’s not very good. Mum and Dad really couldn’t really afford a decent one. It’s a cleansweep seven.”

Cleansweeps were serviceable, but it was common knowledge that they couldn’t go as fast as the comet and nimbus series.

“Maybe you’ll get another at some point?” Rowan encouraged. “My family could help make one for you at a discount with one of the better makers.”

“It’s okay, I appreciate that, Rowan,” Charlie said, going pink slightly at the generous offer. “But I’ll make do. It’s the talent after all, not the broom.”

“Well I hope you make it, mate. We can’t be any worse than we were last year. Haven’t had a real team since James Potter was seeker back in the seventies,” David said shaking his head. “The father of the boy who lived himself.”

“He was a legend. If I can be as half as good as him, I’d be more than happy.”

They discussed Quidditch for the better part of the next few hours before the light slowly gave way to dark and the Express was minutes away from pulling into the station.

A knock on their compartment and Bill appeared in the doorway, looking as cool as ever even in his uniform.

“Hey, you all might want to get changed into your robes, we’ll be arriving soon.”

“Time flies when you’re talking about Quidditch,” David yawned, stretching out his arms. “Didn’t even realize it was so dark. Thanks, Bill.”

“No problem. By the way, have any of you seen, Ben?”

That perked up eyebrows.

“We thought he was with you,” David said, a note of anxiety in his voice.

“Wasn’t he sharing a compartment with you earlier?” Charlie asked.

“He was. But then he left, and I haven’t seen him since. I figured he went and found you guys.”

“Well he isn’t here, Bill,” the younger Weasley replied. “Haven’t even caught wind of him.”

An uncomfortable silence followed at the revelation that their friend was missing. Rowan gave a sideways glance to David, who in turn looked at Charlie. It appeared that the mysteries to solve this year had grown by one more.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Bill reassured them. “I’ll keep an eye out for him. In the meantime, make sure you’re in your robes by the time the train pulls in.”

He exited the compartment leaving the three second years in a state of puzzlement. Rowan looked especially anxious.

“Rowan, relax. We’ll find Ben, okay?”

“It’s not that,” he replied, and now he sounded excited. “I mean I’m worried about him of course, but Bill Weasley actually talked to me!”

“He was talking to all of us,” David pointed out, trying not to laugh.

“I know! But still, no one that cool even acknowledges my existence usually!”

Charlie silently rolled his eyes, while David couldn’t help but give a nervous chuckle. Amidst the positive emotions about returning to Hogwarts, the fact that one of his friends was nowhere to be found was an ominous welcome back greeting.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Given that they were no longer first years, this time around they rode the carriages, which were pulled by some kind of invisible horse, into the front entrance of the school as opposed to crossing the lake with Hagrid (the big man still waved his usual massive hand, cheerfully at them). Privately, David was thankful for this step up in seniority, however minor it might be. His sorting the previous year had been quite the spectacle and he was more than content with being among the general crowd this year.

Still, his brother was out there somewhere and he would continue to pursue that avenue. He didn’t care about the vaults as much as he did Jacob. After a tumultuous first year in which he had risked expulsion (and worse), the last thing he wanted to was to incur the ire of Filch or Snape.

Or Merula for that matter…but in that case I have no choice, he mused.

The returning students made their way to the Great Hall, taking their seats at their respective tables. As the crowd continued to shuffle in, David took his seat next to Rowan and Charlie, Jae trailing in behind them.

“Any sign of him?” David asked.

Rowan scanned around, briefly.

“No, not yet. Honestly I’m starting to seriously worry now…”

“Who are you guys referring to?” Jae cut in.

“Ben. You haven’t seen him have you?”

“Yes, actually.”

Rowan eyes nearly popped up out of his glasses.

“What?! Where?!”

“Just now. Two rows down from you actually.”

The two boys quickly turned their heads to find the blond boy sitting in his seek looking perfectly normal, which in itself was a contradiction.

“Psst,” Rowan whispered trying to get his attention. “Ben!”

“Huh? What?”

He angled to see them better.

“Ben, where the hell were you today on the train?”

“I was with Bill,” he said simply.

“Yeah, but where were you before that?” Rowan pressed. “Or after you left his compartment.”

“Around.”

In David’s opinion, there was something off about their friend. Though he otherwise appeared fine, the non chantant way in which he was talking and the half glazed look in his eye was odd to say the least. But before he had a chance to dig further, they were interrupted by the sound of the Great Hall doors swinging open, Professor McGonagall and the new first years in tow.

Though only second years, David already felt like a veteran from a war compared to the fresh, young curious faces that now entered their presence.

“Did we really look that way when we were sorted?” Charlie whispered, evidently thinking of the same thing.

“Nah, no way.”

Soon enough, Professor McGonagall explained the rules to the young students, the hat sung its song, and the sorting was on its way. Unlike last year, however, it seemed to take forever. Time flew when your stomach was empty and the prospect of food salivating. The young Gryffindors tried to cheer their fellow inductees as best they could but by the time the sorting reached the letter ‘R’ most, including the older students were pretty burned out.

“Is it supposed to take this long?” David grumbled.

“Probably how everyone else felt when we were sorted,” Rowan said.

Though it felt like agony, at long last the last of the first years were sorted and up Dumbledore came to the podium, his midnight robes shimmering, his old, but penetrating blue eyes twinkling at them.

“Welcome to all, once more, to a new year at Hogwarts!” he announced. “To our first years, I give my warmest welcome and I’m sure that our returning students can forgive an old man so he may explain a few rules and boundaries,” he said with a wink.

A few quietly groaned, but that was all the protest one would hear. One did not complain openly to the Headmaster when making a speech, even someone as eccentric as Dumbledore.

“First, I would like to reiterate to all that the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to all students and there will be severe consequences straying its borders. Second, Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to inform you that the list of banned items has been increased to one hundred and thirty six. Anyone wishing to know more may see the visit outside of his office door. For those of you know old enough to try out for your respective house Quidditch teams, Madam Hooch will be posting the dates within the next couple of weeks, so do be on the lookout.”

Dumbledore took a pause, his eyes becoming more searching than twinkling, as though he were gazing into the soul of each student in his presence.

“Lastly, I would like to add one thing, Hogwarts is a place of education and growth. Please, focus on your studies and spend time with your friends, but above all else, be careful as you journey about the castle. If you see anything odd that isn’t the Hogwarts sort of ‘oddity’, do not hesitate to tell a professor. Every year is an interesting one, but something tells me this year holds more surprises than most.”

The smile returned to the centenarian’s face.

“But enough of my ominous warnings and grand proclamations. Enjoy the feast.”

Immediately, food popped out of nowhere and David couldn’t help but grin at Rowan at the reaction of the first years. Only a year ago they had done the same thing at their first feast. Now, it was simply time to enjoy.

“Turkey?” a Gryffindor girl in their year offered.

“Don’t mind if I do,” David thanked her. “I’m starving.”

Rowan, however, gave him a small nudge.

“Dumbledore’s speech was especially cryptic. Do you think it means anything?”

Privately, the now second year never put anything past the Headmaster. The man was something of an enigma, even if he was also brilliant. Last year had taught him that much.

“I’m not too concerned with it, really,” he shrugged. “Let’s just eat. Pass the potatoes, will you?”

And so they feasted, stuffing themselves senseless, drinking gallons of pumpkin juice, laughing the night away with old friends in the hope perhaps that new ones would be made as well. Summer vacations were discussed, Quidditch matches polled, old companions reunited, and Jae even mentioned off handedly he was going to take a first hand look at Filch’s list in order to update his buyers. All in all, it was a night to remember, so much so that amidst the merriment, David forgot about Ben’s odd behavior. However, that was only temporary.

The feast ended and Dumbledore ordered them to bed. Being second years, they no longer were required to hang back and wait for the guidance of a prefect. It was truly amazing what a one year difference could make. There would be no Angelica to lecture them this time, though no doubt she would have her eye on him and his friends this year.

Climbing up the last staircase that led to the Fat Lady, David attempted to make conversation with his muggle born friend.

“Hey, mate. Haven’t had a real chance to say hello yet. How was your summer?” he asked, tapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Dave. It was good. Not much to report, though. Took a holiday to Ireland.”

“Sounds fun. Wish I had gone out of the country. Mum won’t let me do much.”

“It was actually nice not to think about magic for a bit,” Ben admitted. “For my parents, this is still pretty new. Takes some getting used to, you know?”

“Yeah.”

David silently appraised him, trying his best not to act suspicious.

He seems perfectly fine. So why do I get the feeling that he’s not?

Instincts aside, he simply let the conversation peter out as they took over the second year dormitories and settled in for the night. But even trying to sleep through Charlie’s snores and Jae’s personal tinkering with an object he claimed off a Hufflepuff, David could not put away the combination of excitement and anxiety that rattled around in his mind.

He was back at Hogwarts, but as Dumbledore had hinted, they were in for more than a few surprises.

#hogwarts mystery #david grant #hphm #hphm mc #rowan khanna #charlie weasley #bill weasley #ben copper #fanfiction #hphm fanfiction

[naivesprites]

Health Update, Between the Lines, and Sifting Thyme

Hi, everyone!

Since we’ve started developing A Very Important Date, health problems have been an ongoing issue for a lot of different members of the team including myself.  These problems have been anywhere from temporary illnesses or surgery recovery to real terminal/lifelong problems.  But we’re all still plugging away at the game, working super hard to bring it to all of you.  

Last month, due to a series of problems I had been having, I had to have a colonoscopy.  After the procedure, I was told that I had polyps that were precancerous, later finding out that every single polyp I had removed (which was a lot) was precancerous for colon cancer.  That’s good in a way, since they were found early so they haven’t moved above the precancer stage yet.  Because of my history of thyroid cancer, my digestive specialist sent me to a genetic counselor, where I had a blood test to determine the possible genetic cause of the issues I was having.  The blood results came in a few days ago, revealing that I have a specific genetic mutation that makes the colon cancer blocking gene not exist at all, one of the symptoms of a condition called familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP).  Depending on the type of FAP I have, since they were not sure if I have classic FAP or AFAP, my chance of getting full blown colon cancer at any point in my lifetime is between 70% to 100%. Along with heightening my risk for colon cancer, this also boosts the chances of me getting a number of other cancers, mostly based in the digestive systems, but also even brain cancer.  Because of these results, I will be dealing with colonoscopies and other cancer screening procedures that are connected to FAP every few months for the rest of my life. Over the course of the next few months, I will be a little busier than normal as I try to figure out what new doctors I need and the scheduling of these new screenings.  Because of this, my side of things might slow down a little bit, but I’m going to try hard to not let it affect my work. Onto other much happier news!

The dating game Between the Lines is on Kickstarter right now!  I tried out the demo the other day and I have to say it was an interesting playthrough.  The game is LGBT+, even having a choice for the main character to be non-binary.

There are some mechanics teased in the Kickstarter page that I look forward to in the finalized game, like the phone and calendar.  For the phone, I’m hoping I can call people at any time within the gameplay sort of like you can in Mystic Messenger (though that game plays in real time, so I assume this will work differently).  The calendar will be great for someone like me, too, because I have trouble remembering who will be where on what days or important meeting times. There were a few points in the demo where I couldn’t stop laughing, especially when the fourth wall was broken.  From my playthrough this occurred with the character John, where at times his sprite would revert to a sketched version and the choices for talking to him would reference the fact this was all a game.  I don’t expect this in the finalized game, of course, but I thought it was a nice touch for a demo.  If it were kept in the finalized game, however, I could see it lead to a broken ending, à la Doki Doki Literature Club, only funnier.  If you play the demo, I also encourage you to visit the zoo, because there’s a giraffe. Please check out this game and back it if you can!  If you can’t spreading the word about them will help, too! Along with Between the Lines, another developer that we’ve talked about before, Nochi Games, has just released their demo of Sifting Thyme on Google Play! Check it out here.  

Starting this week we will be slowly posting our finalized sprites on our various social media so everyone can start seeing the new versions.  Once they are all released for everyone’s view, we will update our banners and promo materials with them accordingly.  It’s a day we’ve been waiting for for a long time.  See you all soon!

#update #kickstarter #between the lines #Sifting Thyme #a very important date #naivesprites #naive sprites #kickstarter update #health #otome game #dating sim #upcoming visual novel #otome development #upcoming otome #english otome #visual novel demo #game demo #otome #otome demo #visual novel development #visual novel dev #english visual novel #visual novel #upcoming game #game dev #gamedev #game development #game

[living-in-vivid-print]

Tips for a Productive Study Season...

To all my fellow students, we’ve made it!

I don’t know about you, but this semester has been brutal. It was full of assignments and papers, and for a while, I had roughly a midterm every week. In the midst of everything and seeming as if there just isn’t enough time to complete everything in the time given, it is easy to get discouraged and only focus on one of the many things to do.

While this semester has definitely been my hardest, I’ve managed to get some of the best grades out of my 6 semesters so far. Today, I thought I would share with you some of my tips for a productive study session that I have learned and used religiously throughout the semester. While I will share these tips with you, I am not saying that these will have the same benefit to you as myself. This post is to remind myself of everything I had done to study, so I can use it in reference for other semesters. I hope that you can apply these to your studies as well, or help you to adapt new study habits.

Create a to-do list and prioritize what’s most important

This is standard for myself to understand what I need to complete, when it’s due and how important the task is on that particular day. Typically, I just write a to-do list under each day in my planner. I will sit down at the beginning of each semester and write in all the class times, due dates, test dates, important days from the university schedule and the contact information of my professors. As the semester picks up and gets busier, each Sunday, I will sit down, review any due dates and then write a to-do list for each day of the week. As for prioritizing, usually the first point of my to-do list is the midterm or assignment that is happening in that week and then other deadlines from the following week are entered as necessary. This allows me to see what’s happening in the week and complete most of my tasks for the week.

Have a clean and organized study space

This is my main tip. If your desk or study area is messy or unorganized, it can be distracting and demotivating. I usually set aside about 5 minutes before I sit down and study to clean up my desk. I like my desk to have space as well as have easy access to my pens and sticky tabs that make studying easier.

Make flashcards of the topics you are having trouble understanding or remembering

By making flashcards of the topics that you have trouble remembering or understanding, you can focus mainly on those topics and it devotes more time to the areas that you need help with. Also, colour coordinate your topics into sections. This will help you recall the information easier and it will help you to retain your information.

Change up your study space

To be more productive in my studying, I find switching up my study space helps. Whether its just changing rooms in your house, going to your school’s library, your local coffee shop or the nearest bookstore, I highly recommend switching it up. I find that this helps me to better focus on what I’m studying. Just recently, I went from my desk to a study room in the business building and I actually completed and edited an entire research paper. While I was at home, I struggled to pick out what needed to be changed, but when I switched up my study space, I found it easier to concentrate on the paper and fix what I needed to. Maybe it was just the stress amounting while I was sat at my desk, switching it up definitely made a change to my productivity and I had the assignment finished days before it was due.

Find your study music

I find that music helps eliminate any distracting noises happening around me and helps kill the dead space around me. I discovered a few months ago that I am more productive studying with the folk/alternative rock genre in the background. I know that some work better with instrumental music, jazz music or chill music in the background. Find a study playlist that matches the tempo you work best with, don’t have a tempo that is too fast or to slow, and I wouldn’t recommend songs that are very catchy like thank u, next that will distract you from your studying. Some of my favourite study playlist:

my study playlist

brain food

jazz vibes

the piano bar

your favourite coffeehouse

Eliminate Distractions

Put all your technology on ‘Do Not Disturb’, and put your phone on the other side of the room. Trust me, it will be hard at first, but you’ll be happier by doing so. With the constant distractions of our notifications, it makes it hard to keep a good focus on what we are studying in front of us. By eliminating our distractions, it will help us to remember the information we need to know and boost our marks.

Study using the Pomodoro Technique and test yourself!

The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. I use the website ‘TomatoTimer’. You can set up your study time with scheduled breaks all to your liking! Try one hour of solid, uninterrupted studying with a five minute break, and a half hour break after each second hour. This is one of those study tips that might sound a bit tedious, but the app is very straight forward and easy to use. I find this helps me to better focus, studying in intervals and then testing myself afterwards. It helps me to retain information better and understand the topics that I am having difficulty remembering

I know, I know. This post is hella long, but I hope you have learned some new techniques to include in your studying this exam season! Good luck on your exams.

-Kaitlyn

#university blogger #university #study #tips #planner #exams #college #student

[saltnhalo]

The Archaeologist and the Disco Ball

For @thursdays-fallen-angel

Happy birthday, Makenna. I can’t thank you enough for being an amazing friend, and I’m so glad I’ve got you in my life. I hope you like this trash fire. Cross-posted here on ao3.

When Dean had agreed to take Castiel shopping for a costume to wear to Meg’s Halloween party this Friday, he had not expected the actual expedition to be so… difficult.

Dean himself had naturally gravitated towards the adventuring type costumes, pulling a costume off the rack at random and grinning at the hat and whip that came with it. The faux leather jacket he can do without – he has his own at home that will look much better – but the rest of it is perfect, and just what Dean had been looking for.

Cas, on the other hand, has to be one of the most indecisive motherfuckers Dean has ever met.

He wanders aimlessly about the store, drifting from rack to rack and occasionally separating the hangers to get a better look at the displayed costumes, but never actually pulling one off the rack. Whenever Dean shows him an option, Cas’s dark brows draw into a thoughtful frown, and then, every time without fail, he shakes his head.

It’s infuriating; he’d thought the guy would be easy to please, as happy to select a costume at random as he is pulling a book off the library shelf to read. But no matter how long he’s been friends with Cas, the guy is always throwing him curveballs.

Today’s curveball is the metallic silver morphsuit that Castiel pulls off a rack at the back of the store, with a smile just as bright and twice as wide.

Goddammit.

“Whatcha doin’ with that, Cas?” Dean asks, keeping his tone casual as he eyes the thing with carefully masked disdain. That’s not a costume – unless Cas wants to go to Meg’s party as a damn disco ball.

“I want this,” Cas tells him, mesmerized by the shine and glimmer of the suit even under the shitty fluorescent lighting of the costume store. It’s certainly… bold. And not something Dean would ever want to be seen in.

But as Cas holds up the silver suit, looking happier than Dean has seen him all day…

There’s no way that Dean could say no to him. Not when Cas is beaming, all toothy smile and bright, excited eyes that twist their way into Dean’s heart and stay there.

Dean can never say no to Cas.

He forces a smile and nods, says “Sure, Cas,” but he’s powerless to stop the fake smile from becoming real as Cas grins and hugs the morphsuit to his chest. If that’s what he wants, what makes him happy, then Dean won’t deny him – and if anyone says anything about it, they’ll have Dean to answer to. He won’t stand for anyone picking on Cas – on the bright, curious, wonderful, kind, funny-in-his-own-way Castiel Novak.

Castiel’s face as the cashier bags his costume while Dean pays, and the spring in his step as they leave the store, are enough to have him smiling fondly, especially when Cas carefully sets his bag on his lap when they climb into the Impala. It’s goddamn adorable, and Dean can’t help but grin over at his best friend as they head back to Cas’s.

~

Since Dean has to work on Friday evening with his dad, he and Cas can’t go to the party together. By the time he even gets home, let alone has showered and changed into his costume, the party will be in full swing. His dad wouldn’t let him off, though, so Dean spends his afternoon grumbling to himself from underneath an ugly little Toyota Prius.

When John finally gets sick of his quiet complaining and grumpiness and his tendency to set his tools down with just a little too much frustrated force, he finally lets Dean go. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Dean is out of the garage like a shot, and the Impala is pulling into the drive of their suburban home not even ten minutes later. The pumpkins standing sentry on either side of the front steps grin eerily up at him, shadowed and creepy in the glow of the street lamps, but Dean just grins back as he passes them. Nothing can dampen his mood.

Sam and his mom are out at Sam’s soccer game, so the empty house means that Dean starts stripping as soon as the front door latches closed behind him. The party began an hour ago, and while most people will turn up fashionably late, Cas will have arrived right on time, and Dean hasn’t seen his friend since…

Okay, since he dropped Cas home after school.

God, he’s pathetic.

He shoves those thoughts out of his mind and strips all the way out of his jeans and t-shirt, dropping them into the laundry hamper along with his boxers when he reaches the bathroom. The tiles are cool under his bare feet, and Dean shivers as he waits for the shower to heat up. This close to Halloween, the nights are beginning to get colder, and he’s grateful for the warm water as he scrubs at the sweat and grease that clings to his skin.

Time is ticking by, though, and Dean is eager to see Cas in his morphsuit (for no other reason than how hilarious a six foot tall silver humanoid will be, and maybe a little bit for the excited, happy smile he knows Cas will be sporting) so he doesn’t spend long in the shower.

Dean Winchester may have walked into the Winchester residence, but Indiana Jones is the one who walks back out twenty minutes later.

Maybe it’s not that much of a resemblance, but Dean still feels like a badass adventurer with his classic Indy fedora, leather jacket and coiled whip on his hip. Will Cas think he looks good? He’s educated his friend on the masterpiece that is the Indiana Jones franchise, although Castiel hadn’t shown the same level of enthusiasm as Dean.

He’s an odd guy, and there’s no accounting for taste. Dean still loves likes him anyway.

Meg’s place is a little way out of town, and Dean has to force himself to keep under the speed limit on his way there. There are already cars parked out the front of the relatively large house, and while it takes Dean a little longer to find somewhere that he doesn’t mind leaving his baby, pretty soon he’s climbing out of his car and making his way up the path to the house.

Two girls, dressed as a cat and a mouse respectively, titter and flutter their lashes at him from the seat on the porch. Dean smiles and winks, but the gestures feel empty and robotic and the two are gone from his mind before he even steps through the door.

Inside, it’s much busier, filled with people drinking and dancing and even making out. Dean makes sure to keep an eye out for a silver-suited teenager amongst the crowd, excited to see Cas and show off the Indiana Jones outfit that (if he says so himself) looks damn good.

He’s not expecting to find Cas standing by the dance floor, talking to a guy.

His friend’s cheeks are flushed, spots of pink high on his cheekbones, and his hair is messy and sticking up every which way – likely from pulling off the head of his suit that now hangs loosely around his neck.

Or from kissing the sandy-haired, blue-eyed stranger who’s standing too close, laughing too loud, drawing the smiles and attention that should be Dean’s.

Dean’s his best damn friend, after all. He’s the one who sees how amazing Cas is, who loves Castiel for his bee obsession, the shelves and shelves of books in his room, the tiny snores he sometimes makes in his sleep. This guy doesn’t know about any of that. He only sees Cas’s body, the morphsuit leaving little to the imagination, and the stretch of chapped, pink lips into a soft, world-stopping smile.

The douchebag – that’s what Dean has decided he is – says something to Castiel, and jealousy curdles in Dean’s stomach as Cas laughs, his eyes crinkling and his teeth flashing white beneath the party lights. It’s meant to be his jokes that Cas is laughing at. That’s how it’s always been. No one could touch the two of them.

He shoves down his jealousy and his hurt and starts to turn away. Drinking hadn’t been on the cards tonight – his parents would kill him if they found out, and he did drive here – but if need be, he can just crash on one of Meg’s many couches.

And then Cas looks over the douchebag’s shoulder and happens to catch Dean’s eye – and his smile is brighter than the goddamn sun. It seems to light him up from the inside, and it steals Dean’s breath so much so that he doesn’t even realize Cas is moving until they’re face to face.

The douchebag scowls as he watches them from his spot by the wall, but Dean only spares a second for internal gloating before he focuses back on Cas, who seems to have become the centre of the room. How has no one else noticed this, the power of Castiel’s pull? The party carries on around them, but Dean can’t look away from eyes that are shockingly blue against the silver morphsuit.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas says, his voice a deep rumble that feels as though it soothes over Dean’s very soul. The corner of his pink lips quirks up ever so slightly. “I almost didn’t think you were coming.”

It’s far easier for Dean to turn on the charm and the humour than to deal with the unnamed flutter in his chest at the sight of those blue eyes and that damn smile. “What, and deprive you of Indy’s glorious presence?” he jokes, touching a finger to the brim of his fedora and winking at Cas. “Come on, you gotta admit, I look hot.”

He’s expecting for Cas to just laugh and roll his eyes – classic Dean, the jokester, what a funny guy.

Instead, his best friend takes half a step back and looks him up and down with a critical eye.

And then he fucking nods.

“I have to agree. You look very attractive.”

And it throws Dean for a loop and a half. What the hell?

He tries to play it cool and ignore the whatever-the-fuck is going on in his brain right now – but that’s very difficult to do when said brain feels like it’s imploding in on itself with the knowledge that Cas thinks he looks hot. He isn’t sure why it’s such a big deal, but for some reason, all he can get to come out of his mouth is: “I… Uh… Thanks?”

Idiot.

“I mean, uh…” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and gives Cas a quick onceover – a mistake, as it turns out. The morphsuit hugs his body, and even though it looks a little odd, anyone with eyes can tell that Cas looks damn good. Especially from behind.

“You too,” Dean blurts out, and any semblance of cool he may have retained swiftly evaporates as his cheeks heat in a fierce blush. Fuck, what is wrong with him? He’s an absolute mess, has been ever since he laid eyes on Cas.

Luckily, Castiel just laughs, pulling at the fabric covering his hands so that it sits a little better. “Thank you, Dean. That is very flattering. I must admit, I’ve never worn anything like this before.” When he grins, his cheeks flush, and there’s a brightness in his eyes born of pure happiness that has Dean’s heart beating a little too fast in his chest. “It’s quite warm.”

And it is. Suddenly, the room feels too hot, Dean’s leather jacket stifling him as Cas smiles, sweet and happy. Why is he reacting like this? It’s just Cas, just a party, nothing special. Just Meg’s living room decked out in gaudy Halloween decorations and filled with their half-drunk classmates.

But something feels pivotally different.

The silence has stretched on too long now, and Cas’s smile falters a little when Dean doesn’t say anything, simply stares and tries to make sense of this new feeling, of the sensation of change.

“I should get back to Balthazar,” Cas says, taking a step backwards and away from Dean. His gentle smile returns. “He’s nice – he likes bees.”

There’s no way the smarmy dickhead, who’s still watching them from his spot on the wall, really likes bees. He’s just saying that to get into Cas’s pants – or, in this case, his morphsuit.

The mental image of the guy with his hands on Cas, pushing silver fabric down over broad shoulders and trim hips, stealing Cas’s breath with the press of fingers and lips, is not something that Dean wants to think about.

He reaches out and grabs Castiel’s wrist.

“Dean?” his friend asks, his brows pulling down into a frown as he looks up at Dean, then down at the fingers encircling his wrist. “Dean, let me go.”

He knows he should.

But letting Cas go means that he’ll return to the guy by the wall, to Balthazar, with his lies and his wandering hands and stupid name.

And Dean really doesn’t want that to happen.

Suddenly, the world snaps back into place.

Of course. He’s such a fucking idiot.

“Dean.” Castiel’s voice brings him back to reality, and he blinks. His fingers ease their grip, and Cas tugs his wrist away, checking the fabric of his suit to make sure it hasn’t torn. “What the hell?” he asks, his voice low and irritated, his eyes flashing with blue fire.

He’s beautiful.

“I love you,” Dean blurts out without thinking, dizzy from the warmth and the proximity and the magic of Halloween.

Castiel goes very still, and Dean realizes exactly what it was that he said.

For a moment, he panics, his brain throwing itself into a code red lockdown. But when he thinks about it, really thinks about it…

He’s known for a long time.

And he knows that it’s true.

The only question is: does Cas feel the same way?

His best friend is still frozen in place, his eyes wide, hair sticking up comically in every direction. Dean’s fingers itch to comb through it, either to smooth it down or muss it up further. But he doesn’t know if he’s allowed, not yet.

“Are you serious?” Cas breathes, barely moving a muscle as he watches Dean. “Do you really mean that?”

They must be a sight: one silver-morphsuited and the other dressed as an Indy wannabe, frozen in time by a declaration of love. They’ve certainly gathered themselves a little bit of a crowd, but Dean couldn’t care less. He only has eyes for Cas. And there’s only one right answer.

“Yes.”

Something shifts in Castiel’s expression, his blue eyes flicking back and forth across Dean’s face, and then he’s stepping forward, grabbing the lapels of Dean’s leather jacket and pulling him in for a kiss.

Dean’s brain just about short-circuits.

It takes him a few stunned seconds to get his act together and kiss back, settling his hands on Castiel’s hips and pulling him closer. At first, the kiss is clumsy, their noses bumping; Dean smiles against Cas’s lips and guides him into a softer, more controlled kiss. He could get drunk of the feeling of Castiel’s mouth on his, the soft sounds he makes when Dean swipes his tongue over Cas’s bottom lip.

When they pull apart, they’re both flushed and smiling, and neither one wants to let go, let alone move away. They’re just here in their own little bubble of awe and happiness, and Dean can’t quite grasp the fact that Cas loves him back.

Someone claps close by, and they both turn, startled by the new and jarring sound that lays itself over the music playing in the background. Meg grins at them, her blood-red lips stretched into a grin made grotesque by the fake scars painted across her face. “Finally!” she exclaims. “We were wondering when you two would get your heads out of your asses.”

Dean feels his blush worsen, and knows that his cheeks must be a deep shade of pink. Cas is just grinning up at him, and Dean ducks his head to press a quick kiss to his friend’s (boyfriend’s?) nose.

Castiel pulls him back down by his lapels for another proper kiss as Meg raises her solo cup into the air, and the people around them whoop and catcall.

“To the archaeologist and the fucking disco ball!”

#castiel #dean winchester #destiel #high school destiel #hs!au #halloween #costumes #destiel fanfic #destiel fanfiction #fic #emma's writing #spn #thursdays-fallen-angel #love you dude

[brokeandjetlagged]

Take a Chance on Me (Wonwoo/Reader)

Wonu sat there, blinking, with some unmeasurable weight in his chest that prevented him from speaking, from breathing properly.

an awkward bookworm Wonwoo for all of you~

a/n Wonwoo is romanized as “Wonu” throughout the fic b/c honestly, it just sounds more right. Also, this a companion piece to “So What Can’t I Do?” but can totally be read separately

There are many things that could be said about people who believe so wholeheartedly in fate. Most of what Wonu would say about such people would probably be very unflattering, so it was a good thing that he had the sense to keep such opinions to himself. Well, mostly. Almost half of the time, at least.

“How was the wedding?”

“I give it a year,” Wonu said dryly, pulling at his tie and kicking off his shoes at the door. His roommate, Junhui, was only momentarily distracted from some Chinese drama he was (illegally) streaming on the TV. His eyes were already pulling back to the screen, his hand reaching to rest in its comfy home inside his sweatpants. If Junhui were half as charming as he was handsome, no person in Seoul would be safe.

“That’s harsh,” Junhui chided. “Haven’t they been dating for like, ever?”

“Three years,” Wonu amended, flopping onto the ratty couch next to Junhui. Maybe by his next paycheck he could afford to replace it with something better. He was exhausted, although this wedding was about as short as any other. From the time Wonu had entered the wedding hall, witnessed the ceremony, and offered his congratulations to the new couple, not two hours had passed. Something about seeing Minki, just a few years older than Wonu himself, stand and confidently pledge the rest of his life to someone drained all of Wonu’s energy. His brain processed the entire thing slowly, his thoughts moving like molasses through the vows, the readings, the prayers. How, was one of the only thoughts that had enough momentum to circle back to him more than once. How is he so sure?

“Give Minki some credit, then.” Junhui spoke importantly, but a lilt to his words betrayed how little he actually cared about one of Wonu’s college buddies and his happy marriage. “Once you get to be our age,” he paused here, to pick his nose, and then resumed, “stuff like this will make sense.”

“I’m the same age as you,” Wonu said, fighting to keep an eyelid from twitching.

“Not mentally.”

Wonu would like to convey that he knows that attempted murder is never the answer for shutting up an annoying Chinese man. But if Junhui had continued to speak, there would have been a greater danger of Wonu having to jump off the balcony, and he was not above acknowledging that he probably had more to offer in his life than Junhui—who rarely did much other than model, eat, and annoy him.

(Wonu would also like to convey to you, dear reader, that, while it stings his pride, he has never been attributed to being very well-muscled. Or coordinated. He risked spraining a wrist if he turned a page in a book too quickly. So any murder attempt was never long-lived.)

“You’re awful,” Junhui coughed dramatically, rubbing his throat long after Wonu had recovered from his bloodlust. “You’ll never find love with this kind of behavior.”

Wonu hid his sneer by picking up a book from the coffee table, and spent the rest of the night annoying Junhui by loudly (and with terrific mispronunciation) repeating every other line of dialogue from My I.

Within the next few weeks, spring had come, and Wonu had mostly forgotten Minki’s wedding except for the new photos on Instagram from their (Wonu repressed a shudder at even the thought) married-life Instagram that Seungcheol had guilted him into following.

But yes, anyway: his last bout of midterms as a college student had ended, and spring—as mentioned before—made the air warm and the cherry blossoms close to falling, and it prompted Wonu want to get off a few stops early and walk the rest of the way home.

The fact that there was a Kyobo bookstore a few hundred meters away from this station wasn’t a factor.

The fact that Wonu found himself there only five minutes later was purely coincidence.

There were a lot of pushes recently among Wonu’s family (mostly by aunts that spent too much time on facebook) to abandon chains like this and favor more local, Korean-owned book stands. But Wonu was pretty proud of how much his English reading had improved since high school, and not many Dongdaemun book stalls had much to offer beyond a few battered copies of Harry Potter.

Junhui had come with him into bookstores a few times after he had first moved in. The man had been eager to explore some of the neighborhood and pick up Korean textbooks (this was when Junhui looked at Wonu with awe and didn’t know much Korean. A much happier time in Wonu’s life), but Junhui soon found that the internet and his drinking buddies were much better tutors, and Wonu made his trips alone again.

The classics were always the first that Wonu checked in the Foreign Books section. Nothing ever really changed there, but there was some sort of comfort in knowing that whatever he bought had been acclaimed and loved for ages. No one ever occupied this section either, besides college students like him, or middle-aged, professor-looking types that looked like they could go on for hours about which color pantaloons the early English nobility wore. But it was deserted today, and Wonu didn’t suppress his smile as his shoulders relaxed, and he let his fingers brush the spines of a whole shelf of Pride and Prejudice as he walked down the aisle.

After about thirty minutes of double checking a Naver blog post about the great classics, Wonu was debating between Jane Eyre and Lolita when someone cleared their throat. Wonu jumped, startled, and clutched his books to his chest like an embarrassed teenager when he saw the woman trying to get by him.

She pressed her lips together in an embarrassed smile at his reaction, and bowed her head slightly, moving to get by him before she stopped, seeing the books he had been trying to decide between. Wonu wasn’t exactly opposed to her lingering gaze.    

“You like your books scandalous?” She asked, and Wonu blinked dumbly at her for a moment before stuttering back to life.

“Um, yes.” He fought off the urge to smack himself. “I mean, yeah, I like it. Have you read them before?”

“Only this one,” she admitted, pointing to Lolita’s cover. “I have a friend with the same name. She hates it, so I have to quote it whenever possible. Obviously.”

Wonu was too startled to hold back his laughter. And he was glad he hadn’t kept it to himself when her face broke into an expression of a relieved sense of accomplishment. She was foreign, and although confident, was probably met with varying reactions when she interacted with anyone in Korean. A twinge of understanding resonated through his chest; she kind of reminded him of Junhui. Although much, much prettier.

“Sorry for interrupting you,” she said after a pause, heat staining her cheeks. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Wonu sat there, blinking, with some unmeasurable weight in his chest that prevented him from speaking, from breathing properly. She didn’t wait for him to speak--which was a good call, he probably looked like a gaping lunatic--and was lost into the crowd of shoppers almost immediately. Wonu shook his head, as if that could throw off the lingering embarrassment and heat he felt in his face, and put one of the books back without checking. He’d been having a nice day up until five minutes ago. Well. It was still nice, but he felt like his insides were spaghetti and someone and just stuck a fork in them and given it a good twirl.

“What’s wrong with you?” Junhui said loudly as Wonu walked into the living room. He flung his bag down and threw himself over the couch.

“Um. I bought a book?” Wonu looked at the brown paper bag that had landed next to his book bag. He didn’t really remember buying it.

“You bookworms are gross,” Junhui said bluntly, heading to his room. “Buy one book and you come home looking like you just got your first blowjob.” He paused before shutting his door, and poked his head out to the living area again. “Oh, you see, a blowjob is what happens when someone actually wants to put their--” He slammed the door shut suddenly, and a thick magazine thudded off the wood half a second later.

“Asshole,” Wonu muttered under his breath, slumping back down into the cushions.

While Junhui was possibly a demon from hell, Wonu did have him to thank for introducing him to a lot of cool people that he wouldn’t have met otherwise. The friends that he had made in the last two years he’d roomed with Junhui were so much better than the pricks that were in Wonu’s school’s journalism department.

The best of these new friends was a senior at Jihoon’s performing arts school, Soonyoung, who had also just finished his midterms and was itching to celebrate. And this is how Wonu found himself out on this particular Saturday night in the busier section of his neighborhood.

Wonu, contrary to every malicious rumor Junhui had tried to spread, did not only like to jerk it to old books that smell like death. He had many hobbies. Including drinking. Including this specific place’s honey makkoli that made his head swim but his lips taste sweet when he ran his tongue over them. A waitress came by with another bottle of liquor and a pot of honey and Wonu’s other hobby could be taking her as his wife because yes.  

“You’re funny when you drink,” Soonyoung sniggered as he mixed another--their fourth? Fifth?--round of drinks.  

“I’m funny all of the time,” Wonu said immediately. He stretched his hand out in front of him, flexing his fingers.

Soonyoung just laughed, which Wonu thought proved his point (it doesn’t, poor boy), and Wonu moved on to trying to think back on the specific train of conversation they were having before Soonyoung felt it necessary to point out how hilarious Wonu was. “What were we talking about?”

“Well,” Soonyoung shrugged, ladling out another cup for Wonu. “Nothing really. You just asked that poor girl to marry you though.”

“Oh.” Wonu winced, feeling a little of his happy, swimmy vibe dribble out of his ears.

“Aw, I’m sure she would’ve said no,” Soonyoung chided, grinning at Wonu’s red face. “And then you’d still have a perfectly clean no-commitment record.”

“You make me sound like such a douchebag,” Wonu complained. He thought of the girl from earlier that week, just a few days ago, really. His tongue felt heavy just thinking of her, though. And he shook the thought away. “Just because I’m not--I’ve never…” Wonu trailed off, blinking as his words stopped trotting around in his head long enough for him to realize what kind of tangent he was going on. “Wow, I’m drunk.” He dug the heels of his palms into his eye sockets.

“It’s okay,” Soonyoung laughed good naturedly, slapping a hand on Wonu’s scrawny shoulder and giving it a good shake. “So you’re not ready. Big deal. Maybe you will be and maybe you won’t.”

One of the greatest things about Soonyoung was that he sometimes spouted stuff like that, like he’d been some sort of living vessel for ancient Buddhist texts that knew exactly what Wonu needed to hear in order to not feel like his life was just one shitty decision after another. Wonu rewarded him by paying the bill, and letting Soonyoung crash on his couch instead of forcing him to find a taxi all the way back to his one-room on the other side of the river.

“Nunu,” Soonyoung groaned as Wonu gave up on wrestling him out of his coat. “You’ll find someone who’ll make you crazy.”

“What makes you say that?” Drunk asshole almost rolled off his tongue, but Soonyoung had been very nice that night and he was, Wonu reminded himself, his favorite.

“You drive a lot of people crazy.” Soonyoung giggled. His curse was that the alcohol hit him doubly hard once he was horizontal. Wonu brought a little wastebasket over, just in case, in the time Soonyoung had untied his tongue enough to continue. “Junhui and Jihoon would love it to see you all heart-eyed over someone, after all the shit you put them through.”

“They deserved it.” Jihoon had serenaded that one girl from the rooftop of one of his university buildings. Like a love-sick male lead in a cliche drama. There was a video of it on Youtube. What did he expect? For Wonu to not hum that song whenever Jihoon mentioned any new girl?

“It’s okay,” Soonyoung said, and his hand came up to clumsily pat Wonu on the cheek. More of a dull slap, really. “I’ll be rooting for you.”

Wonu blushed and slurred out a thank you before heading to his own bed.

Wonu almost wished he took another seminar class for his last semester rather than leaving a block of time for an internship. Working was hard. He could barely cope with trudging his way to work at the crack of dawn on top of his other classes and homework. How was he going to cope with a full time journalism job: forty hours a week, including research, editing, arranging interviews and scheduling shoots? He wanted to take a nap.

He couldn’t nap though. Or well. A nap wouldn’t be very proper in line at a Starbucks. The soulless drones that wandered Seoul would just step over him like he was garbage that hadn’t been collected from the night before, and he would get fired for being late.

Someone from behind jostled him, and Wonu huffed a little and scooted forward the two inches that he could. Seriously: Soulless. Drones. And when he got another tap on the shoulder, he had to fight from snapping when he turned around angrily to--

A pair of eyes blinked at him and then crinkled into a smile of recognition, and Wonu couldn’t stop the puzzled way his eyebrows drew together. It was the girl from the bookstore. The funny, pretty one. Her hair was pulled back from her face, and she was dressed like she was headed to work like him, like everyone else in line. It was weird. He had just assumed she was a tourist, or maybe an exchange student. Seeing her against the backdrop of a Monday morning in a random Starbucks felt out of place, like she didn’t belong in boring planes of reality like this.   

“Hello,” she said. Not over friendly, but polite. Sort of like how he would greet his co-workers when he finally made it in this morning. Not like he was some stranger she had exchanged a handful of words with a few weeks ago.

“Hello,” he nodded to her, and the absurdity of exchanging greetings with a complete stranger made him choke on a laugh. He held a hand over his mouth, but couldn’t stop the effects of his smile changing the shape of his cheeks, his eyes. “Have you been well?”

“Yes,” she said, and the way she had to bite the inside of her cheek let Wonu know that she had enough sense to know how out of place this was. “Which book did you choose?”

“You remember?” Wonu said, but he wasn’t very surprised. “Um. Jane Eyre.”

“That’s a good one,” she nodded, and moved her chin so that Wonu knew to take a step towards the counter. “I thought you were a student.”

“I were. I am.” Wonu started fishing his wallet from the depths of his pockets. His hands got nervous. “I have an internship in the mornings though.”

“Oh. I intern too.” The way she said it made it seem special, like she and Wonu were the only two interns in all of Seongdong.“I’m an editor at one of those startup volunteer organizations. Refugees and that sort of stuff.”

Wonu ducked his head down a little. That sounded a lot better than the morning of errands that he was about to run for a hoard of Dispatch wannabees. “That’s sounds interesting.”

“Yeah. It’s your turn.”

“It’s just this gossip newsletter. I just tweak the site and--”

“No, uh. It’s your turn.” Wonu followed her gaze to the empty register, where an employee was clearly hiding her irritation behind a smile. He gathered his strength and managed to walk forward and place his order without his face melting off from his blush; he gave himself a small pat on the back while he went to join the bundle of commuters waiting for their order to be called.

“You’re funny,” she said when she came over to wait as well. She said it lowly, in English, not rude or conversational, but an observation.

“No, I’m Wonu,” he said back, switching over to her language. He knew his accent was awful--his parents couldn’t afford to send him abroad like his cousins. But it made her smile. He liked the way her eyes shined; even though the sound didn’t escape, the light of laughter was trapped in her, and it refused to be quiet completely.

She told him her name, and Wonu butchered it, but promised to try harder, or come up with a nickname for her if he got really lazy.

“Meeting twice is kind of testing fate in a city like Seoul,” she said after her order was called. She looked at him levelly over the plastic top of her coffee as she took her first sip. “You seem nice.”

Nice. She thought he was nice. Wonu kind of floated on that for the rest of the morning. Minhyun yelled at him for accidentally deleting some D-list idol’s interview edits, but Wonu couldn’t find it in him to care. She also thought he was funny, said some part of his brain that did not want him to focus on any task he was given. She laughed at him a lot, anyway. And now he had her kkt ID stored in his phone.

“You’re acting weirder than usual,” Minhyun said loudly as he passed Wonu’s desk. He tossed a thumb-drive over to Jonghyun. “What is it?”

“He’s smiling too much,” Jonghyun said, his voice distorted around his fourth mug of coffee. Jonghyun was a perpetually tired grad student who also moonlighted as a dance crew leader in Hongdae. Wonu wasn’t actually one-hundred percent sure that Jonghyun could exist, as a person, without being hooked up to a caffeine IV.

“So I’m not allowed to smile?” Wonu deadpanned, the edges of his mouth smoothing down. Minhyun just shrugged.

“Classes going well?” Jonghyun guessed.

“They’re okay.”

“It’s a girl,” Minhyun said, leaning against Jonghyun’s chair in order to get a look at his computer screen.

“Are you into girls?” Jonghyun asked. He seemed unbiasedly curious, but he didn’t look up from his assignment.

“Sometimes,” Wonu said bitterly. That floaty feeling was getting dampened by this conversation, which is why Wonu genuinely did not like people in his business. Having another set--or sets--of eyes on him made everything seem tiny, examined piece by piece under a microscope. If you look at something closely enough, the importance seems to drain out of it. Or worse, you realize it wasn’t even important to begin with.

She texted him at 8:59pm on Saturday. Wonu only knows this because it was the exact time that they were announcing the guests for the next week of Knowing Bros. It was SHINee, and Wonu was already being bombarded by messages. He was trying to figure out how to mute Soonyoung’s alert tone (because there are only so many times he could be disturbed by a keyboard smash without wanting to smash Soonyoung’s head against a keyboard) when her icon popped up in a banner.

Free sometime tomorrow or Monday?

Wonwho: tomorrow? 4? There’s a good cafe near exit 8

Junhui called it a date. Wonu was not that optimistic--he was realistic.

“That’s not realistic, that’s just being sad,” Junhui said, rubbing an eye and smearing some of the liner a stylist had forgotten to wipe off. “You’re not a sad person. Go sow your wild oats.”

Wonu raised an eyebrow at him. “Where did you even learn that expression?”

“I’m telling you: I was a scholar in my previous life, and Buddha decided to reward me with good looks in this one. Maybe he’ll do the same for you.”

“That’s not how Buddhism works,” Wonu said boredly through a mouthful of ramen.

“I’ll start my own sect then. Wanna be my first disciple?”

Maybe in a different universe, they did start their own religion, right there in the living room. Converted millions and changed lives and went down in history as modern re-evangelists. Wrote essays and papers and revamped prayers to account for vanity and the need for more instagram followers.

In this universe though, Junhui’s joke (like many, many others, Wonu feels the need to add) fell flat, and the drone of shit variety television did little to distract that he (Jeon Wonu) indeed, perhaps, maybe had a date the following day.

End (?)   

I’m gonna start doing things where I just post something after I feel “done” with it, and maybe post updates/chapters once I get the juice back, or people really like a certain thing and want to see more of it. I have a little more in store for this little arc, but if I don’t get to it, i’m okay with this short little piece. 

thanks everyone for continuing to read and support my stuff. i check my notifs daily

#seventeen fanfic #wonwoo fanfic #wonwoo fluff #kpop fanfiction #wonwoo scenario #seventeen scenario

[allenmendezsr]

7 Minute Mindfulness

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/7-minute-mindfulness/

7 Minute Mindfulness

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    Stress less, sleep better, and show up every day as the best version of yourself!

A body that is in pain or tense negatively affects our mental capacity.

Ever tried to concentrate with a toothache?

Luckily, the reverse is also true…

With the “Stress Response”, hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol raise the heartrate, quicken the breath and prime the muscles for action. It’s a vital survival mechanism, however long term stress can cause serious damage.

On the other hand, with the “Relaxation Response”…

your heart rate decreases

…

breathing becomes slower and deeper

…

blood pressure stabilizes

…

your muscles relax.

“In addition to its calming physical effects, the relaxation response also increases energy and focus, combats illness, relieves aches and pains, heightens problem-solving abilities, and boosts motivation and productivity.” – Lawrence Robinson

Our bodies are programmed to heal. The magic of healing happens automatically. You don’t need to tell your finger to heal a paper cut. It just does.

However, an overworked mind

interferes with the healing process… especially when it’s thinking about what could go wrong.

When practicing certain mindfulness techniques, the links between different areas of the brain are balanced. The stress response starts to disconnect. Balance is restored.

Mindfulness brings natural order back to the artificial chaos.

Hi, I’m Greg Thurston, and I’d love to share with you a unique method to live your most authentic and fulfilling life.

In just 7 minutes YOU CAN…

Release stress

Gain emotional strength

Nurture stronger relationships

Boost your ability to make great decisions

Be more effective at work and in life

What I’m about to show you is a discovery that appeared in my life after years of struggling with long drawn out meditation.

Years of

trying and failing to meditate consistently.

Let me explain…

I was born with a physical injury that caused constant upheaval in my life. During university I explored yoga and meditation as a way to alleviate my troubles and lift my game.

Over the first 6 months I became

naturally happier

,

my grades improved

,

creativity gushed from my mind

,

my physical pains became tolerable

, and I started loving life.

But there was a problem.

As life got busier, meditation became a struggle… I’d go for a few weeks meditating, then for one reason or another I would stop.

Sometimes it was because “I didn’t have time”, sometimes it was “too difficult to sit and focus”, and sometimes I’d stop without any reason at all…

Meditation was something I just couldn’t stick to consistently, and as a result, I couldn’t reap the rewards.

It was frustrating…

Then one day, sick of the constant ups and downs, I set off to explore the possibilities of what the mind and body can do… And over the next

5 years, the journey took on a life of its own…

I Travelled to Australia, Thailand, Cambodia, Spain, Brazil and Germany… INHALING every ounce of knowledge about meditation, mindfulness, and the mind-body connection.

I investigated TRADITIONAL ZEN PRACTICES and researched what MODERN SCIENCE knows today about the power of the mind.

This world exposed many truths and many falsehoods about stress, mindfulness, and the untapped potential of our brains and bodies… And let me tell you, it was surprising to see how many others were struggling with practices that just didn’t work for them.

The most significant thing I noted is how stress builds up …and when we DON’T release stress we get sick, diseased, and problems begin to push our lives off track.

So I started compiling the best and most powerful methods… focusing on solutions that are

easily maintainable

,

doable for any person

,

enjoyable

, and

avoid the common roadblocks

that people face.

And here’s what I found…

First of all, the honest truth about stress…

Nobody can avoid stress, so right here, right now, you can let yourself off the hook.

You don’t need to reach some fairy-tale level of enlightenment where you live in a bubble and are immune to stress.

What you can do however, is quickly bring yourself back to balance. To approach life proactively. To give yourself the tools to navigate challenges with

confidence

,

dignity

, and

grace

.

Whether it’s financial strains, work, family, relationships, concerns about society, health, or the subtle daily stresses that sneak up on us, these things have the potential to snowball.

They far too often grow into something beyond our control, interfering with our ability to create the life we want and damaging not only our

mental wellbeing

, but also our

physical health.

According to a recent Harvard Medical School research paper, “Stress-related health problems are responsible for up to 80% of visits to the doctor and account for the third highest health care expenditures, behind only heart disease and cancer. But as few as 3% of doctors actually talk to patients about how to reduce stress.”

Researchers found that people in who took part in an

active relaxation program used an average of 43% fewer medical services than they did the previous year, saving on average $2,360 per person.

Of course, these are averages. For some people the costs would be lower, for others unfortunately, the costs would be much higher.

But the truth is, it’s not about the money. If we don’t have our health, we simply can’t function at our peak. We can’t fulfil our potential, we can’t show up for our families and other obligations… our hopes and plans go off course.

So, how can we habitually care for our wellbeing?…

…In the words of one of the most influential martial artists of all time…

– Bruce Lee, actor, director, philosopher, and founder of Jeet Kune Do

When we introduce simplicity, everything changes. We can remove the blockages which create

needless complication

and

limitation.

Maybe it’s anger. Maybe it’s past disappointments which continuously create doubt. Maybe it’s self-criticism which has planted roots in our subconscious mind.

It may be suspicion or wariness about other people, an expectation of failure, or an unshakable feeling of tiredness, frustration, uncertainty, or overwhelm.

The fact is, when you allow yourself to deeply unwind and cultivate mindfulness, complications begin to dissipate… you gain clarity… and you connect with your inner power.

Have you ever had a decision that you just can’t get your head around? Maybe you went for a walk to “clear your head”. Then later, the answer appeared.

It’s like restarting your computer – shutting down the programs that you’re not using any more and

clearing space

.

This should be a ROUTINE. It’s not just about when the situation gets so difficult that you’re forced to remove yourself from the world. When we make mindfulness a core part of our daily routine, it becomes a constant and unlimited source of strength.

And scientists, doctors, psychologists, and policy makers are beginning to take notice…

In Australian schools,

1 million students and 18,000 teachers practice mindfulness every day

in a program run by The Australian Department of Education, Deakin University, child and adolescent psychologists, educators, and resilience specialists.

So far,

68% of participants reported a greater sense of calm

, and teachers have observed “significant improvements in their concentration after participating in the program.”

When you give yourself daily space to

untangle your thoughts and release tension, you’ll approach daily life from a much stronger position.

And here’s the good news…

You don’t need to commit a chunk of your day to sit in long drawn out meditation and force your mind to focus.

You don’t have to hike up the mountains and learn from a monk and you don’t have to understand some special philosophy.

You can do those things if you wish and they each have their own advantages AND disadvantages, but I want to offer you another way…

A way that is

simple

,

fast

, and

doesn’t require any cognitive effort

. A system where you don’t have to “Learn” and where you’re not at the mercy of what a former monk once described to me as “MEDITATION RESISTANCE”.

If you’re curious to see what can happen when you invest in your own wellbeing for just 7 minutes, then please read on…

With 7 Minute Mindfulness, all you need to do is press play.

Let the audios sink you into a deep relaxation like you’ve never known before.

You’ll be guided away from the thought processes of your day. You’ll release the tension from your muscles and the thoughts from your mind.

Different tensions are connected to different parts of our bodies: anger in the jaw, stress in the shoulders and torso, emotions in the hips. You’re going to learn to gently release each.

And the best part is that you don’t need to put in any effort at all.

You don’t need to consciously remember to focus on your thoughts or your breath. You don’t need discipline. Just listen to the music and the words, and they will take care of everything for you.

Each consecutive day you’ll go deeper into relaxation and come out 7 minutes later more refreshed and more prepared to make the most of your day.

You’ll be training your body to be more relaxed, and automatically training your mind to be more mindful.

When you listen to these sessions, here’s what will happen:

You’ll quickly release stress and relax deeply.

You’ll prime your mind with energy, belief, and motivation.

You’ll become more resilient.

You’ll become more patient.

You’ll gain clarity to make brilliant decisions, take opportunities, and be your authentic self.

Although you will only listen to the audio sessions for 7 minutes, the payoff will continue during every moment of your day. You’ll be upgrading your base operating system.

And this isn’t only going to benefit you… NO WAY! It’s going to rub off on the people around you.

They’ll be infected with your energy

.

They’ll take note of your ability to stay calm

, your ability to

make the most of every situation

. You’ll set the positive example.

Don’t just take my word for it…

See the awe-inspiring letter that I read every day… from a Seven Minute Mindfulness user named Phyllis:

“My stress level is near zero for the first time in 63 years.”

“I have inner peace for the first time in my life.

I feel a great deal of gratitude. I feel present. I am so much more relaxed and confident. My stress level is near zero for the first time in 63 years. My internal anger is nearly gone.

I find myself relaxing and going with the flow instead of fighting to control the world. I now know I don’t need or want to do that. I feel at peace with myself.

Thank you Greg!” — Phyllis

I can honestly say that the day I received Phyllis’s email was one of the best days of my life. To see the program improving people’s lives makes the past 10 years so worth the effort.

The core principal of this program is simple: to make mindfulness

easily doable for any person

.

To take away the barriers, stigma, and difficulties that often surround mindfulness practices.

This is NOT going to take you an hour per day, or even 30 minutes. It’s NOT going to require some super human mental discipline. All that’s required of you is to get comfortable, press play, and lie down (or sit if you prefer) for 7 minutes.

It borrows from many spiritual practises, but it’s different. It’s not religious or connected to any spiritual philosophy. It isn’t yoga, it isn’t Buddhism.

There are no strict rules

.

It’s a user friendly, practical routine to give yourself 7 minutes of peace. 7 minutes of nurturing. 7 minutes to release the stress that builds up each day, break the trains of incessant overthinking, and welcome in clarity.

I want you to squeeze every drop of joy out of life. To be fully present and prepared for what comes next, to cherish the small moments and big…

to be creative

,

to be calm

,

to be excited

… to help the people around you, and to nurture that which is unique and special about you.

I believe that if everyone in the world gifted themselves just a few minutes each day to release and rejuvenate, society would thrive.

Want to know more?

Here’s what Jamie reported about his experience…

“Thank you so much. I honestly do notice that I am more relaxed and calm since I started this practice.

It has helped me physically, emotionally and Spiritually. I am so grateful that I decided to try your method.

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[magicalallura-archive]

Made of Stardust

for @platonicvldmonth

Day 2: Home

Wordcount: 3840

Summary: Allura hasn’t had a planet to call home, not since Altea. But that doesn’t mean she’s homeless.

Notes: I have no clue how Altean time measurement works. Ticks are seconds, I’ve used quintents to mean days, but dobashes are either hours or minutes I think? So I’ve just used years instead of whatever Altean equivalent there is, though I’ve kept quintents and ticks in as well.

The longer she stayed on Earth, the more Allura felt drawn to the stars.

There was so much to do during the day - she needed to establish friendly diplomatic relationships with the leaders of all countries, she needed to appear in public to reassure the people that she was friendly and not out for their brains, she needed to maintain relationships with her paladins, she needed to learn enough about Earth culture to blend in, and that was just in the morning. Allura was used to being under pressure, but she could still scarcely believe that she felt busier now than she had when she had been fighting Zarkon’s empire.

But at night, things calmed down. After eating dinner, after doing the dishes, after socializing in the evening in front of the TV, the house went to bed. Colleen and Sam went to their shared bedroom, Matt and Pidge went to the bedroom they temporarily shared, and Coran and Allura shared what used to be Pidge’s room.

Allura always told Coran that she was coming, but never came. He had to notice that. But perhaps he felt like she needed some time alone, after being around people all day.

At night, Allura climbed onto the roof. It was flat, presumably because this was a family of astronomers, and Allura highly suspected that she wasn’t the first to stargaze instead of sleep.

She stared at the stars all night. You’d think that fighting a battle amongst them would leave her hating them, or at the very least, you’d think that spending a life with them surrounding her would have waned away all novelty they might’ve had.

But seeing them from Earth was different. Earthlings, like many other races along the universe, had a fascinating culture surrounding the stars. Constellations had meanings here, and Allura loved to search for new patterns in the stars. She loved searching for a falling one, she loved to look at the different colors they had. Seeing the stars from Earth’s perspective was different, almost magical.

But if she was completely honest, that wasn’t the reason she loved to come out here to watch, and it wasn’t the reason that she could only manage to fall asleep on this roof, and not in her bed.

She couldn’t pinpoint why that was, exactly. She just knew that breathing took more energy than it had even when the oxygen levels were low in a spaceship, and the food tasted blander than even the goo in the castle. She just knew that her steps on Earth felt stolen, like she’d never gotten permission to be here. She knew she didn’t need permission - she was a princess. But still, she felt bad sleeping in Pidge’s bed, when Pidge was sleeping on a mattress in Matt’s room.

She’d offered to stay in the castle, but the paladins had vetoed that. She understood, though she wasn’t happy about it. Coran could easily oversee the reparations on an empty castle, even with Earth’s inexperienced workers, but managing to direct constructions to a completely destroyed castle while people were still living in it? That would be much harder.

It didn’t make her any happier to steal the house (or planet) of these people away, though. She knew it wasn’t like that, technically, but it still felt like it..

Perhaps, she thought, the feeling would go away in time.

But for now, she slept under the stars.

As she grew more accustomed to Earth, and Earth grew more accustomed to her, things began to change.

Allura was still met with gaping mouths and clicking cellphones when she went into a store, but now, it was less the surprise of seeing an alien, and more the surprise of seeing a celebrity. At the negotiation table, she stopped meeting hostile faces, and instead found people willing to work with her. Now, if she didn’t understand something, strangers were willing to help, instead of just watching her with hidden fear in their eyes.

Allura stopped feeling like she was stealing every step she took on this ground. She started laughing with the Holts, bonding with Colleen, returned to joking with Pidge. It felt good, sitting in on their dinner table, laughing with them. Almost like a family.

But still, she couldn’t sleep in her bed. Still, her breaths felt heavier than they should be, the food still tasted bland, and her steps, though not stolen, still felt tiring. Still, she returned every night, to gaze at the stars.

She wondered why.

Their castle was almost finished, and Coran didn’t want it to be.

Allura could see it. Coran didn’t talk about it, of course, preferring to mask his feeling with his exuberant personality. He talked excitedly about the reparations, announced proudly that they’d be finished by next week. It wasn’t a façade, exactly – the pride of fixing the ship in a record time was clearly genuine.

But when he thought no-one was looking, he looked around himself, a bit lost, like he didn’t know where to go from here. It was such an uncharacteristic look on him, that Allura found herself worrying.

She cornered him in their room that night.

“Coran, what is it?” she softly asked. Coran looked at her for a couple of ticks, then sighed.

“Should’ve known you would see it,” he said, smiling a melancholic yet proud smile. “I never could keep anything from you, even as a little kid.”

He sat down on his mattress, and scratched the back of his neck. “It’s just,” he gestured around the room, “what are we going back for?”

Allura raised an eyebrow. “We need to let the planets in the former empire know how Voltron succeeded, we need to re-establish healthy peace treaties all throughout the universe to stop another war from spreading, and if needed, we should attack lingering Galra soldiers.”

“I know that, princess, but what else?”

Allura blinked. “What else?”

“Altea was destroyed. We have nothing among the stars now. After our duties to the universe are finished, what will we do?”

For the first in a long time, Allura felt speechless. She had known she was homeless, but after the initial shock, after the grieving process had lost its momentum, she hadn’t really thought about it. She had never felt aimless, or wandering, like she was searching for a place to stay.

But she had felt like that, recently, since they’d landed on Earth. She hadn’t fully realized it before, but that was that uneasy feeling in her stomach. Restlessness. Homesickness.

Maybe Coran had a point. Her goal had largely been reached, and once there was no more work for her, no necessity to be among the stars, where would she be? Where would they be?

She looked at Coran, and saw that he was staring at a bobblehead of some comic book figure. He hit its head, watched it bop, and sighed.

“Princess, I love this planet,” Coran admitted, gesturing at the bobblehead. “I love the culture, I love the comics, I love the food, and I’m even fascinated by the technology, primitive as it may be. This planet - this house - it feels closer to home than even the Castle, closer than I’ve felt since Altea was destroyed.”

Allura’s mouth felt dry. “What are you saying, Coran?”

His eyes softened. “I love you, princess, and I don’t want to leave your side. But after all of this is over, I wish to return to this planet, to live out the rest of my life here. And I know that you do not.”

Those words were like a punch to Allura’s stomach. She shook her head, trying to shake out the nest of scared thoughts that had begun to build. “Let’s not worry about it too much,” she said, hoping that she sounded more carefree than she suspected she did. “It’s going to be quite a few dobashes before we’re finished with even the most basic of our tasks. Let’s think about this later.”

Coran looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded. As she was about to turn away, he caught her in a hug.

Allura leaned into him, clutching him tightly. It was quite some time before they let go.

That night, Allura tried to sleep in her room. She ducked into her pillow, pulled the covers over her, and twisted and turned until deep in the night.

No matter what, she felt the pull of the stars.

The next day, the paladins and their families arrived in town, and everything got even busier, but in a good way.

They were coming back with her, to assist defeating any lingering Galra troops, and as a sign that Voltron cared for the universe. They came a week earlier, to reconnect with their lions, and to just ease themselves into their new adventure.

They were leaving their families behind, after having been returned to them for only a few months, and this was difficult for them. That was abundantly clear in the way Hunk clung to his younger brother, in the way Lance paused before switching to English from Spanish, in the way Pidge spent days shopping with her mother instead of working on a new project by herself. Keith was the only one whose family wasn’t staying in a hotel, mostly because he didn’t have one, and he was also the only one who seemed to have no difficulty leaving Earth behind.

Shiro came with his grandfather. He had never known his father, his mother had passed of cancer shortly before he’d left for Kerberos, and his grandmother had passed of old age while he was captured by the Galra. His grandfather was the only family he had left, and that only made them closer.

The old man looked at her, back straight, cane placed under his hands like a scepter. He couldn’t speak English, at least not well, and Shiro had to translate for him, but that didn’t stop the old man from looking like he owned the room and everyone in it. Allura liked him.

Allura had never seen Shiro like this before. His shoulders were relaxed, a smile seemed only seconds away from playing on his lips, his eyes were soft. And all of that seemed to be directly tied to his grandfather, the way they laughed at some joke in Japanese, how he handed him his cane before he stood up, how his grandfather put a hand on his shoulder whenever he seemed to be sliding far away. It was almost magical, seeing Shiro this comfortable and happy.

It wasn’t a surprise when he pulled her aside, three days before the launch.

“Princess -” he started, but Allura held up her hand to stop him.

“You want to stay.”

She said it like a statement, not a question. Shiro looked taken aback, but recovered. Slowly, he nodded.

“It’s just - I just -”

He couldn’t find the words, so Allura filled them in.

“You have a trauma associated with space. You were forcibly ripped from your planet and your family, and taken captive by the Galra. It took you ages to get back. You are scared that you’re not going to succeed a second time.”

Shiro let out a deep breath. “It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud,” he admitted.

“It’s not,” Allura lay a hand on his good arm. They had removed the Galra prosthetic as soon as their final battle was over. They’d been planning on fitting him with a new one with technology on the castle ship, but Shiro hadn’t been particularly hasty, claiming that it was rather nice not to have a heavy piece of metal drag him down on one side of his body.

If he didn’t want to pilot his lion again, the replacement might never happen, Allura realized. But if Shiro wasn’t bothered by that, than neither was she.

“It’s not ridiculous at all,” she continued. “You have suffered grave trauma, and recovery is going to take time. You need to do so. I do not expect that we’ll be needing Voltron much, but the few times we do, we can pilot the lions as we did when you were lost. You can stay, if you wish.”

Shiro sagged forward, relief spreading over his face. Allura squeezed his arm reassuringly, before letting go.

“Maybe I’ll come later,” Shiro said.

“Maybe,” Allura agreed, though they both knew that it was unlikely.

The launch was three days later, and a crowd had gathered to see them off. Allura watched all paladins but Keith say goodbye to their families, and watched Shiro say farewell to the Black Lion. She could almost hear her purr, and Allura knew she’d understand.

Coran was saying goodbye to the Holts. Allura had already said her word, and was waiting on the bridge for everyone to finish, watching the crowds wave, and waving back.

Keith said goodbye to his friends’ families, whom Allura suspected had become his as well, and spoke softly with Shiro, hugging him as if he was never letting go. But he was still the first to stand next to her, ready for take-off.

Finally, when everyone stood on the bridge, she activated the ship. She felt a familiar buzz underneath her hands, and a well-known light welcomed her as she booted up the systems.

When they reached the stars, Allura breathed a sigh of relief, though she didn’t know why.

Pidge was the second one to leave them, which was a bit of a surprise, but in hindsight, it shouldn’t have been. Pidge was bad at negotiations, desperately wanted to be with her family, and after they were certain that Voltron wouldn’t be needed anymore, she left.

They’d been visiting Earth regularly, both to keep up relationships and to let the paladins visit their families. She saw how they counted down the days until their ship touched Earth again, and though they did have fun in space, they were never as happy here as they were on Earth.

Even Coran grew restless in the quintents before a visit. He’d pace around the ship, finding things that didn’t need fixing to fix. When they finally landed, Allura saw his relief, and in the few days that they stayed on the ground, she could see him flourish. She didn’t like to think about it.

Shiro was the first one waiting for them on every visit. He came with his grandfather the first three times, but during the fourth, he came alone. Nothing to worry about, he reassured them. His grandfather just didn’t feel like coming. Allura was happy that he felt comfortable enough to let him out of his sight.

It was during the fourth time that Pidge announced wanting to leave.

“We’ve defeated all major resistances from the Galra,” she said, pushing up her glasses, not looking at any of them. “You can handle the rest with just the lions, and I’m no good at being a diplomat, so I thought that maybe I could leave? Be with my family. I’ve wanted to do that for so long, it’s why I went to space in the first place, and... yeah.”

She was nervous, uncharacteristically so. Before the group could break up into an uproar, Allura stood straight, radiating authority.

“Of course you can,” she said, with a reassuring smile. Pidge looked up, surprised.

“I thought that you -”

“I’m fine with it, Pidge. You’re absolutely right. We’ll be needing the lions, but Voltron might be a tad much for the minor rebellions left. If you do not wish to stay, I won’t force you. Go. Be with your family.”

After that, there was an uproar, but everyone understood. They wanted it too. But they also understood that they would still be needing the lions, and that it was safer for the rest of them to stay on board. So the when they left Earth, only Pidge was left behind.

Allura felt uneasy as she saw Hunk in the kitchen even more than usual, knowing he baked when stressed. They were approaching Earth again, and Allura had a feeling that she knew who would be the next to leave.

She was right.

Hunk baked goodbye cookies for all of them. His brother was getting married, and he wanted to be there, but they’d be leaving before the wedding.

“I barely even know his husband,” Hunk explained. “I want to get to know him better, and I don’t want to leave before I make sure that he’s good to my bro.”

They all knew that this was an excuse. They knew that Hunk wouldn’t come with them when they landed on Earth after the wedding. But they let him have this. Allura could see how tired he was, how much he just wanted to stay home, where he felt safe. She couldn’t take that from him, especially now that there wasn’t any reason for him to stay with them. So she told him yes.

Lance left soon after Hunk, and Allura was just surprised that he lasted this long. She assumed that was because he was the second best diplomat on the team, and therefore the most useful in this post-war battlefield. Allura knew that Lance liked to feel needed.

But she also knew that he did not love it more than he loved his family.

He did not give a reason. He just told her.

“I want to stay on Earth,” he said, looking only slightly guilty. “I want to be with my family. I want to go home.”

She couldn’t deny him, and didn’t want to, either. It hurt to see him leave, but she understood, and she legitimately hoped that he’d be happy on Earth.

Now, she had only Keith left. And Coran. Coran was still with her.

She wished that she could still add an ‘of course’ to that.

But even still, as her family thinned and thinned, she could not help but long to be in the sky again.

Every time they left Earth, even if they left someone behind, she breathed a sigh of relief. At first, she thought she had something against the planet itself, but she slowly realized that it had nothing to do with Earth. It was her.

Whenever they landed on a planet, no matter which it was, she felt restless. She felt an unexplained heaviness on her chest, she walked with unneeded caution, and the food, no matter how delicious, seemed lacking somehow. She could only look up at the sky, and continued looking until it became night, waiting for the stars to show. And when they did, she couldn’t stop staring at them.

In her ship, travelling between planets, she did not have that feeling.

Despite the fact that there was, technically, a limited oxygen supply, she felt like she could breathe freely. She maneuvered the halls easily, piloted effortlessly, and even bland food goo didn’t taste that bad when they finally launched from a planet. She could sleep in her own bed, instead of looking at the stars.

And she realized that was because the stars were around her. She wanted to be among them, and never wanted to leave.

Coran did not have that feeling, she knew. In time, Earth had become his home almost as much as Altea had been.

He was the last to leave.

They hugged until they thought they would never let go, and they cried. Coran was like a father to her, and she was like daughter to him, and it hurt to let each other go.

But Allura was grown. She didn’t need his guidance anymore. And she couldn’t make herself believe that she’d be happy here, nailed to the ground, just like she couldn’t make herself believe that Coran could be happy in the sky. He wasn’t made for travelling the stars. He needed a home to return to.

And, as Allura was steadily realizing, the stars were her home. And she longed to return to them.

“Your father would be proud,” he whispered as he finally let her go.

“I’ll miss you,” she choked through her tears.

“I’ll miss you too,” he said, pulling her in for one last hug.

That was the only time she stared at Earth when they left.

Keith was still here.

Allura was a little surprised about that. She’d figured that he’d be the last of the paladins to leave, with no blood family to return to. But she knew that his team had become just as dear to him as his father had once been, and she had expected him to leave with Lance.

But he was still there, even as Coran had left her. He was still there, even though they didn’t need even a single lion anymore, and he was no help with diplomatic adventures.

He was still there, and never said anything about leaving, playing with the mice instead. Allura watched him from the corner of her eye, closer than she had ever before, and suddenly noticed things.

He breathed heavier when they landed on a planet. His steps went weird. He complained about the food. He never stopped staring at the sky. And when they left to return to space, she saw his shoulders sag in relief.

They made up games to play, they handled the maintenance of the ship, they plotted new courses to travel, and as the time they spent together grew longer and longer, Allura realized that they didn’t even need to do that. They were comfortable just being, travelling among the stars.

“Don’t you want to go home?” she asked, as they left earth once again. He was broader now, more muscular, and he had stubble on his chin. Lance had a kid, and Keith’d loved to play with her. He’d listened as Pidge told him about her clean energy program, joked with Hunk about his nephew, and had gotten beaten by Coran at Monopoly. He’d given Shiro the same heartfelt hug he had for the past fifteen years, every time they left.

But he kept leaving, anyway.

Keith shrugged. “I’m going home right now.”

They launched themselves into the stars, and their shoulders relaxed in tandem.

Allura smiled at him, before steering the castle away from the moon’s gravity.

“Where to?” Keith asked.

“Well, we have no pressing matters at the moment, so perhaps the Balmera? I’d love to see Shay again.”

“Lead the way, princess.”

He smiled at her, but the smile for her paled in comparison to the grin he gave the stars beyond the window.

It occurred to her that she wasn’t the only wanderer at home in space.

Allura had been a princess of Altea, and she still carried that title proudly. But her planet was lost, and it had given the void in return. She had no ground to call her home.

She was a princess among the stars, and she wanted it no other way.

#platonicvldmonth #vld allura #allura #I'm actually kind of proud of this one? #I really like the atmosphere if I do say so myself #it's kind of unnecessarily dramatic but that's my signature move anyway so I don't care #the heart of voltron #personal #jay writes

[anxietyandi]

Dear Diary.

Long time no write!

So a lot has been going on! A new job for a start! I don't know yet if I've done the right thing. Although this job is a lot closer to home and less money on travel, it's very long hours which I'm struggling with. And it's not family run like the last one. So it's a lot bigger and busier! I miss my old job, the traveling was annoying, but the people there made it worth while. The hours were short and it wasn't so busy. I felt at home there. I'm still trying to work out whether I fit in here or not? There's always new people coming and going. I'm not used to this.

 I'm always afraid that at some point I'm going to screw up and get the sack. I never had this feeling with my last job. Although I've never actually done anything wrong, and don't plan to, this thought keeps going through my mind!

 On other notes, my anxiety, hmm.. I guess it's getting a bit better? I'm more open to talk to people than I used to be. I used to be that quiet kid that wouldn't dare speak. Afraid of anything I might say. I find that if people speak to me first, I'm a lot more happier and open to them. I mean, I still get these odd thoughts from time to time running through my brain telling me I said something I shouldn't have, but it's not as bad.

 My problem now is sleep. Lately its been really getting to me. I'm usually tired ALL day, but when I get home from work to go to bed, my brain decides to wake up! I'll be thinking of anything and everything, you name it. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? I'll be up till 3-4am. I'll be lucky if I even fall asleep! Then the next day I'll have a long 12 hour shift. And my sleep pattern will just go in circles. I get about 4 hours sleep at most. It's really getting to me, wishing my brain would just shut off!

 Anyway, enough about me. I'm a survivor. And I will continue to be! I hope all my fellow Tumblr followers are well! Stay strong, and remember there is always a helping hand out there.

 ♥

#anxiety #social anxiety #depression #mental health #mental disorder #mental illness #tumblr #diary

[shenzhenblog]

IRL > URL: How To Break Free From Digital Distractions And Start Truly Living Your Best Life Now

Gaetano DiNardi: Welcome back to yet another fantastic Nextiva webinar today. I don’t even know if this guest needs a proper introduction. He is phenomenal in every way. The one and only Brian Solis. Welcome, Brian, to the Crowdcast. Awesome to have you.

Brian, these are all these problems that we’re facing with digital distraction. We get into this digital hamster wheel of “Check your”:

Email

Text messages

Voicemails

Project management tool

CRM

Before you know it, you’ve spent an hour and a half on social media or on your cell phone. You’ve got nothing done, and now you have more messages at the top of that cycle.

You can either go back to the top of the hamster wheel or figure out how to break the chains of digital distraction.

Introducing Lifescaling

Brian Solis: I’m going to walk you through what living on this digital hamster wheel looks and feels like.

A part of it is to build awareness and the other part is to work together. We have to go on a journey where we give ourselves a new sense of purpose. And, a new vision for taking control. Not eliminating the use of technology, but managing it in a way that works for us and others.

This is a movement that I call “Lifescaling.”

The reason it’s important is we were given access to tools, platforms, and mobile devices that no one prepared us for. We were left to fend for ourselves.

You’re going to go to bed looking at your cell phone and waking up looking at it. It’s the same routine until you manage how much time you spend on your phone or iPad.

Digital Distraction Vs. Fear of Missing Out

Brian Solis: What I found out the hard way, is that life and happiness are part of the same journey. Be in the moment and don’t focus on what’s on your device. Happiness already exists. It’s already within you.

At some point when I was writing, what would have been my eighth book, I hit a wall. I didn’t necessarily know why I couldn’t get past the proposal stage. All I knew was that I needed to get that book out.

So it took everything I had to be able to focus on what I felt I needed to get to the bottom of, which was, “Why couldn’t I:”

Get that proposal done?

Think the way I used to?

Focus or concentrate for the time like I used to?

Ignite my imagination and creativity on demand?

And I started asking questions like, “When did:”

We get so busy?

Looking at our mobile devices become the norm?

Breathing or thinking become so difficult?

Screen time become such a responsibility?

I start to feel like I need you to know that I see everything that you’re doing?

Anxiety just take over?

The hard part was just recognizing that we’re living life anxious, more self-interested, less patient, and definitely more stressed. But we do nothing about it.

The Science Behind Digital Distraction

Brian Solis: Attention is currency. The more you pay attention, the more they monetize it. This is true for every single platform that we use.

If you think about how you use digital today, you’re essentially rewiring your brain and your body.

On average, we receive about 200 notifications per day. It’s teaching your brain to be ready to be distracted, to speed up. The chemicals in your body make you feel like you’re in control, but those same chemicals make you feel stress and anxiety.

The chart below, for example, shows you push notification data from 671 million pushes. It’s clear that we respond to pushes throughout the day!

Source: andrewchen.co

They’re also fooling you into believing that you’re in demand, that you’re top of mind. This is what keeps your fear of missing out away.

Understanding variable intermittent rewards

Gaetano DiNardi: I saw a behind the scenes of how Facebook’s user experience designers think about the platform. One analogy that came out of the discussion was they wanted to build it similar to how gaming machines work in casinos.

Brian Solis: It’s called variable intermittent rewards. It gives you the sensation that, when you don’t get a notification, you’re losing out.

Source: The Guardian

These are techniques that aren’t just used in gambling, it’s also used in psychological warfare. It’s also used in spreading fake news. Every platform you use is changing your behavior.

How Digital Distraction Affects Relationships

Brian Solis: We are turning conversations into moments. Stripping away the depth and critical thinking — tearing away empathy.

Think about the fact that a lot of these platforms are polarizing relationships. It’s getting harder to disconnect, especially for young people.

Gaetano DiNardi: Some older members of my family are new to Facebook. Whenever something comes along in their feed that they don’t agree with, they block it out. They aren’t able to see the other point of view.

It becomes a very toxic cycle. You’re not able to see that polarity because of the way that the algorithm is kind of shaping your digital experience.

You think you’re living your best life. Are you?

Brian Solis: We tend to surround ourselves with people who validate the thinking that we already have. They reinforce the fact that you’re right. But you can’t think critically.

The reality is, productivity, happiness, and creativity are all interlinked. You are not living your best life, even though you give the appearance that you are.

The biggest direct link of all of this stuff is dwindling imagination and thinking critically and just creativity in general.

The Perils of Multitasking

Brian Solis: Every single aspect of distraction isn’t just about social media or your alerts. It’s also how you live life.

Think about how many tabs you have open on your browser at any given point. That’s a symbol of not being able to make decisions and close out projects. You may feel like you’re managing them all together, but you’re not.

In fact, 95% business professionals say they multitask during meetings.

Source: Prezi

Every time you reach for that mobile device, it takes you over 23 minutes to get back into the zone. This affects the quality and the caliber of your work.

Gaetano DiNardi: To a degree, you’ve got to blame society’s false glorification of multitasking.

Brian Solis: Call it the cult of busy or the glorification of hustle. The busier you are, the more important it seems.

Give yourself the means to pursue what a satisfying and fulfilling life could be. I think the pursuit of meaning is what matters.

Creativity is something we could use more of, especially in the digital age. It’s really starting to show signs that creativity and the arts are what machines can’t duplicate.

Don’t worry about disruption; worry about mediocrity. When you multitask, it gives us a semblance of being creative.

How to Prevent/Overcome Digital Distraction

Brian Solis: Without creativity, there would be no innovation. Every aspect of how we work and think are actually preventing us from being innovative.

The direct path to happiness is actually through creativity. It’s time to reacquaint yourself with the artist formerly known as You because you were creative.

Brian Solis: Every night you go to sleep, you replenish those chemicals and nutrients that you use up. This is why sleep is so important, it literally gives you a new day with new potential.

Try to think about your day in ways where you can get the deeper work done and distraction-free. Do this in the beginning, and save your afternoon for the creative and deep work.

The more great work that you do, the more special you are. Everybody can’t be special if they’re doing what everybody else is doing, right?

There are techniques that you can build. The Pomodoro timer? You to focus for 25-minute bursts, distraction-free, and then you take a five-minute break.

It all comes down to how you perceive tasks

Brian Solis: As I was writing the book, I found this quote from Mohammed Ali that I felt was worth sharing.

He said that he convinced himself that he can’t quit. Ali envisioned why he was doing those things and to live the rest of his life as a champion.

Solving the problem is not about simple time management or productivity tools or hacks. It’s actually changing how you perceive the task.

This is about becoming more exceptional, creative, and happier. The more you know who you are, the more you can become that ideal you. Not that aspirational selfie that we commonly communicate with.

You weren’t put on this planet to validate your existence through the false validation of strangers.

It’s actually just believing in yourself and that is the true aspiration. Then we can break free from the shackles of distraction and this digital hamster wheel.

More About Brian Solis

Brian Solis is one of the world’s leading digital anthropologists who have been called “one of the greatest digital analysts of our time.”

As if he hasn’t made enough of a name for himself, Brian is also a world-renowned keynote speaker and an award-winning author of seven best-selling books including:X: The Experience When Business Meets Design,What’s the Future of Business,The End of Business as Usual and his new book Lifescale: How to live a more Creative, Productive and Happy Life.

Note : This article was originally published on Briansolis.com

Brian Solis is principal analyst and futurist at Altimeter, the digital analyst group at Prophet, Brian is a world renowned keynote speakerand 8x best-selling author. In his new book, Lifescale: How to live a more creative, productive and happy life, Brian tackles the struggles of living in a world rife with constant digital distractions. His model for “Lifescaling” helps readers overcome the unforeseen consequences of living a digital life to break away from diversions, focus on what’s important, spark newfound creativity and unlock new possibilities. His previous book, X: The Experience When Business Meets Design, explores the future of brand and customer engagement through experience design.

IRL > URL: How To Break Free From Digital Distractions And Start Truly Living Your Best Life Now was originally published on Shenzhen Blog

[anadventurousgirl]

I have never taken on a challenge like this before.  Each day that Run Iceland 2018 gets closer this becomes more apparent. Some days I feel I’m on top of this and on others worries race through my brain.

Run Iceland 2018

To bring you all up to speed…after a couple of mulled wines at Christmas I agreed to run Iceland this summer. This means an east to west run across the country. Not something we can find many people having done before and for good reason. There isn’t much in the centre of Iceland except hills, volcanoes and strong winds! We have booked our flights and are heading out on June 2nd. You can read more about my previous Iceland trip and my teammates here.

Which bits am I on top of?

Physically, I am feeling better than I have for a good while. A combination of lots of running, swim training for Swimathon and the odd bike ride are keeping me busier, happier and fitter than ever. My hip played up on a trail marathon a few weeks ago but I know that was my fault for neglecting strengthening exercises. Now I’m back to lunges and squats a few times a day and that should put the pain back in its corner.

I have bought some kit! Mainly I have got very good at researching and procrastinating but occasionally I have taken the leap and made a purchase. I’m very happy with my bivvy bag, an Outdoor Research Helium. For those who don’t know a bivvy bag is like a mini personal tent. I chose a super light hooped one. Hooped bags are great because the material is held away from your face, meaning they feel more roomy. This was super important to me as I will there won’t be a lot to do in the evenings except chat and rest.

I also bought my back pack, a Montane Ultra Tour 40l. Again super light and hopefully with enough capacity for all my sleeping gear etc. and 17 days worth of food. Having the pack has allowed me to start running with weight on my back. Having listened to advice (some good and some bad!) I am finally getting comfy with it. It’s tougher to get going when you haul a pack on but I have enjoyed the experience and seem to be developing legs of steel (razor sharp calf muscles Jo Clarke – sorry best friend joke!).

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We have at route!

Five of us are heading out on Run Iceland 2018. Four of the gang met today for a run and planning session. The conditions were pretty brutal. It was possibly the coldest I have been while running. The wind was blasting horizontal snow at us at up to 40mph (that can knock you about a bit with a big pack on!) and numbed our faces and legs. But we laughed. We laughed most when the weather was worst and that filled me with joy. Because we are going to have tough times out there. So long as we can keep laughing, with and at each other, we can keep running.

Post-run we retired to the pub and crowded round the open fire with maps. Lines were drawn and discussions were had. Google maps showed us that roads on the map were really dirt tracks and that was fine with us. The bits where the dirt tracks run out…well they are the ‘winging it’ bits. Questions such as; ‘is that a quicksand/lava field/sandstorm area?’, ‘how close can we go to that glacier?’ and ‘would we be better going around or over that?’ came up often. Some intense measuring revealed the true distance we would need to run; 494 miles. And we want to cover that in 17 days. Gulp.

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What makes me worry?

Did you read that last paragraph?! 494 miles. In 17 days. It’s doable but it means covering around 30 miles a day. We are going to have to dig deep and it will hurt.

Those who know me know I have a ‘work less, play more’ attitude to life. I choose to work less than full time hours so that I can get the very most from life. In doing this I sacrifice a certain amount of money. And yes, I know how damn lucky I am to be able to choose this. This evening I sit and blog, a happy dog and glass of wine beside me, having had a wonderful day out with friends enjoying the freedom of the countryside.

I cling tight to the balance I have in my life but it means I think about money a lot. My parents have been great and a friend has been a huge help by offering to lend me some gear, as well as furnishing me with excellent advice. There is still a fair old bit of kit to be bought for this trip and I am using my online bargain hunting skills to the full. It will all come together and I just keep chipping away at that shopping list.

The biggest worry though is failure. If we plan everything meticulously and something outside of our control stops us I can just about live with it. If we fail because we didn’t plan properly I will struggle. That’s why days like today are so important. Talking face to face, rather than online, gives us all a chance to get things clearer. There is still much planning to be done, such as how we will get across the country to our start, but we will keep chipping away at that too.

So, here’s to Iceland; to getting stronger, both in body and in plans. Here’s to adventure, to pushing our limits and loving every challenge. Here’s to appreciating the joy that life can bring and laughing at the wind in our faces.

[jetpack_subscription_form title=”Never Miss An Adventure!”]

Run Iceland 2018 – Planning the Adventure I have never taken on a challenge like this before.  Each day that Run Iceland 2018 gets closer this becomes more apparent.

#adventure #challenge #iceland #maps #planning #running #trail running #travel