#so comfortable and really helps to fight the cold weather

[amsgrey]

take it slow

Kaz Brekker x Fem! reader

request:

hi love!! could you please do a Kaz Brekker x reader where the reader helps Kaz cut his hair?? maybe it’s super hard for Kaz to do it himself for some reason and he finally lets reader help. they take it really slow tho so kaz is comfortable. thanks 🥰🥰

warnings: not proof-read, canon typical violence, talking of gambling, a whole lot of angsty fluff, Kaz working through his skin aversion/phobia, switches a lot between the reader's pov and Kaz's, I tried to be fancy with the wiring but its meh, mid ending

You sighed, looking out over the bustling tables and colourful clothes that made up the Crow Club. Pigeons and regulars crowd the tables to avoid the pouring rain beyond the doors. Nights like this were freezing, the Ketterdam cold had a way of finding the cracks in buildings. Seeping into homes and putting out fires. Whenever it would get too bad, the Crow Club would get busier. Kaz carefully built the club to be enticing, it was hard to leave the comfort of warmth with weather like tonight.

You were in charge tonight, a steep task seeming the steady stream of people entering the club. Kaz had locked himself in his room at the slat, the last job the crows had gone on went south. Kaz took a bullet to the arm, effectively losing his strength for the foreseeable future. It had made him sourer than usual, he had chewed Jesper out for being careless and letting the job go south.

You looked over at the gunslinger now, sitting at a table with Wylan, the latter trying to stop too much money from being squandered. You had promised to stake him for the night, to make up for the way Kaz had treated him, it was the least you could do. Even so, you still felt the gnaw of guilt watching him at the table. You weren't a fan of gambling, at least not the kind Jesper was. He liked the thrill of the unknown, but he never knew when to stop. At least Wylan was with him now, supervising to be sure Jesper had a good time but not so much that he would regret it.

Nina and Matthias were here tonight as well, they hardly ever stayed around the club, but tonight Nina had convinced Matthias to have a drink and enjoy the night. Inej had been with them at the start of the night but had since slunk off to do what she did best. You hoped Kaz hadn't sent her on any errands tonight, you worried the spider might just get washed off her perch if she was. The steep gables of Ketterdam were treacherous on a clear day, they would be lethal tonight.

You were startled when a shout echoed around the room, the man it came from was clearly unhappy with his hand. He stood from his seat and grabbed the dealer by his collar, shaking and shouting in his face. You rolled your eyes, men who lost at the tables often blamed the dealers for their misfortune. The man yelling had silenced the club, everyone watching as Keeg pushed his way over to the man. Fighting and violence were not allowed in the Crow Club, if you had an issue you took it outside. You watched from the stairs as Keeg seized the man and hauled him away from the tables, tossing him outside into the rain with a terse warning not to stick around. The room was bustling again before the doors even closed.

You climbed down the stairs and headed to where Matthias and Nina were sitting, comfortably tucked into one of the quieter corners of the club. Nina lit up when she saw you, as she always did.

'Are you here to join us?" She asked, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.

You shook your head, "Have you seen Kaz tonight?"

Nina rolled her eyes, "I offered to help him with his arm but he refused." She crossed her arms, "Quite rudely, actually."

You offered her a small smile that felt fake, "Sounds like Kaz."

Nina waved her hand dismissively, taking a sip of her drink.

You turned to look back over the club, knowing you should be focused on the events that transpired here, but being unable to stop your mind wander back to the attic of the slat.

Kaz was not the easiest person to love but you did so anyway. Last night you had tried to offer him comfort, but he had lashed out and left you feeling stupid. You knew he had regretted his words, the moment he said them his eyes gave away his shock. Kaz was all sharp lines and harshness, he had boarded his heart up with cruel words and violent ways. You knew that he would not change at the drop of a hat, but you saw the good in him. The good he spent years burying so deep he couldn't find it himself. So you stayed patient, you gave him space when he needed it. Cautious not to smother him or hasten him when he was not ready. He would let you in, piece by piece until all his walls were gone, and he felt safe with you.

In the last few months since getting closer, Kaz had let you past his defences. He quietly told you small details about himself. How he had grown up outside of Lij, on a farm he had left behind after his father's death. How he was always fascinated with sleight of hand - magic - even as he outgrew childhood. He had even slowly told you about his brother. Only small things, like how he had been 5 years older and had died not long after they came to Ketterdam. You could see how hard it was for him to share those small things, watch him fight with himself about if he should tell you. So in turn, you told him about your own quietly kept secrets. It was a strange transaction, but you could feel the bond between you both strengthening the more you shared in the quiet of Kaz's room.

Nina pulled you from your trance with a hand on your arm, she drew your attention back to the present. You turned to look at her, knowing already she could feel how your heart was racing with worry.

"You should go try again," She said, squeezing your hand.

"I'm meant to be closing."

"We can do it," Matthias replied, "Jesper and Wylan will help."

You looked over to where Wylan and Jesper were, they seemed to feel your eyes on them and they turned and offered smiles.

"Go," Nina urged again, "Before I change my mind and cozy up in bed."

You hugged your friend tight, thanking her and asking her to pass on thanks to Wylan and Jesper.

You forced yourself out the doors before you could dwell too much more on it. Keeg waved you off, letting you know he would keep watch as you were gone.

You shoved your hands into your pockets as you walked, keeping your head down to avoid the rain as much as possible. You walked as quickly as you could, sticking to the side of buildings to avoid getting drenched in the downpour.

As you crossed over the bridge a few blocks away from the slat, Inej fell into step beside you. You were used to the Suli girl appearing at your side, if It were anyone else you would get startled, but Inej was always a comforting presence. Sometimes you felt like she was a saint, the way she watched over you and the crows. You told her this often, reminding her of how appreciative you were to have a friend like her around.

"Kaz hasn't sent you on any jobs tonight has he?"

Inej shook her head, "No."

You let out a breathy laugh, "Then why were you jumping across the rooftops?"

You knew the answer.

"I feel at home on the roofs, it's my own Ketterdam."

You hummed, taking in her answer. Inej told you about the time she spent training on the highwire as a child, how she loved the feeling of being free so high off the ground. She was brave and unwavering like that and you admired her greatly for it.

As you came up on the Slat, Inej disappeared back into the shadows of the night. She would return to the club, or retire to her room, but she enjoyed climbing her way across Ketterdam and you were happy to let her do so.

The slat was mostly quiet when you entered. Anika and a few other Dregs were drinking and conversing quietly as if not to disturb anyone. You knew it was to not bother Kaz. Although Dirtyhands had put in a lot of effort and money into making the slat warm and dry, voices still carried. Most nights you could hear conversations from the bottom floor all the way in Kaz's attic, it was how you knew whenever Jesper got back. He was loud enough to be heard all over the slat.

You started your climb up the stairs, watching your rain-soaked boots take each step with certainty. Although you climbed these stairs multiple times a day, you still felt as if you might trip down them. They were narrow and steep, a recipe for disaster when the rain made your shoes slippery.

Three floors up, you stopped in your room. It was hardly a room and more of a closet, fitting your cot and dresser and not much else. You truly didn't mind, you were right next door to Inej and you only ever came to your room to sleep or change.

You kicked off your boots and stripped off your socks, replacing them quickly with a dry pair to keep your feet warm. You shrugged off your jacket and hung it on the door handle , with any luck it would dry before you would need it again tomorrow. You slipped out of the room and headed back to the stairs to Kaz's room.

Your feet made no sound as you climbed the steps, the silence of your movements allowing you to listen for Kaz in his room. Most of the time you would hear him shuffling through papers, but tonight there was little noise coming from behind the door. As you reached up to knock you prayed he wasn't sleeping.

"Yes?"

You cracked open the door, surprised to find Kaz wasn't sitting at his desk but standing in front of the small mirror in the corner of the room. He had scissors in his good hand, the other shakingly brushing back his hair from his face.

You had noticed how Kaz's hair had gotten much longer lately. The dark strands often blocking his eyes. You knew it drove him crazy, he hated having his hair in his eyes, but he had been too busy to fix it for now.

Kaz shared how he cut his own hair not long ago, you remembered the conversation vividly. He had caught his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands in the small basin, asking you if you liked his hair.

You had been surprised, Kaz never cared for what others thought of his appearance. You told him the truth, that you loved his hair. Loved how he took time to cut it and try to style it, to you it showed his quiet care. When you asked why he was suddenly concerned, he mentioned how Nina had teased him about it once. It had been a harmless comment, but to him brought back the fact that he feared others touch so much he couldn't bare to let someone else cut it. So it looked rough, uneven in some parts and sometimes much shorter than he intended. You offered to help him when he was ready, but he had yet to take you up on the offer.

"Kaz," You sighed, taking a tentative step forward as if not to startle him. "You should be resting."

Kaz just frowned at his reflection.

His hands were shaking, you noticed. His right hand with the scissors shook so subtly that you might have missed It if you weren't looking. His other hand gripped tight to the side of the basin, as he fought the pain that throbbed down his bicep.

"I can't stand it anymore," Kaz growled, glaring at the hair that kept flopping in his face.

You chuckled, watching the man glower at his reflection with all his barrel brutality.

Crossing the room towards him, you held out your hand, "Let me help."

Kaz stared at your hand like it was foreign. You waited patiently as he had an internal battle. You felt a pang of sympathy when you watched a look of longing pass over Kaz's face. He wanted to let you help, he wanted nothing more than to feel your hands running through his hair with the tender care you always held. But the waters were always there, right below him. If he let you help, they might just swallow him whole.

Finally, Kaz resigned the scissors to you with a sigh.

You smiled at him, "We'll take it slowly." You promised, "If it gets too much, tell me and we’ll stop."

Kaz nodded.

He watched you in the mirror as you stood behind him, assessing what he had already done and what you would do. You knew he liked it a certain way, you spent enough time staring at him to memorize how it always looked. You made eye contact with Kaz in the mirror.

"Ready?"

Kaz nodded, taking in a deep breath.

You ran your hand through his hair, combing it back off his face with your fingers. You could almost feel how Kaz relaxed, his tense shoulders falling just a little. You took it as a good sign, continuing to gently pull his hair away from his face and start cutting.

It was slow going, you paused every few minutes to remind Kaz to breathe and release the tension in his muscles. You had no intention of making him suffer through his flashbacks alone. So you muttered reassuring words, offering to take a longer break or to step back for a moment as he processed. Kaz would shake his head, refusing to let you move away in case he would never feel you close again.

Your body was so warm he could feel it through the shirt on his back. You were always comforting and warm like a fire on a cold day. Kaz sometimes felt himself leaning into the feeling, leaning into you. Getting close to someone after so many years of pushing everyone away was terrifying for him. But he was determined to work through it, to be worthy of the gentleness and care you bestowed on him.

When you were done, you ran your fingers through his hair one last time. Your fingertips brushed against the skin on the back of his neck. Typically, the feeling would repulse him, send him spiralling into the frigid waves, but now he felt warmth grow from where you touched. He let out a sigh, revelling in the peace that he felt at that moment. It had been so long since skin-on-skin contact had made him feel something other than repulsion, he had almost forgotten what it was like.

You stepped back, placing the scissors on the desk and giving him space. You were buzzing with emotions and you feared they might just burst out of you if you stayed too close.

The room was silent, the only sound coming from you and Kaz's quiet breaths. You could feel your heart beating erratically, it pulsated through your body as you tried to steady it. Kaz was staring at your handiwork in the mirror, his hands running through it and feeling how it reacted. After a few tense moments, he turned to you, the smallest of smiles on his lips.

Kaz's smiles were hard to earn. Often, it felt like his only facial expression was the stern frown he always wore. But every now and again, in the safety of these four walls, his eyes would relax and his lips pull upwards.

The first time Kaz had smiled at you, you had felt drunk. You could live in that moment for a million years and never grow sick of it. His smile was so gentle, it warmed you from the inside out. You searched for that feeling everywhere, but it only ever came when Kaz smiled.

You felt hopelessly lovesick now, staring into the eyes of the bastard of the barrel. He was so different within these walls, still sarcastic and ill-tempered at times, but also gentle and caring. When he allowed himself the chance to feel safe, you could see the little boy from Lij who loved magic and games.

"Thank you."

You could only just hear the words over the roar of your heartbeat, offering Kaz a tight-lipped smile and a wave of your hand.

"It's no problem."

You both stayed silent for a little longer, looking everywhere but at each other. You were brimming with butterflies, the same giddy feeling you got when you had your first crush.

Kaz stood from his perch, slowly limping over to you. You waited as he did so, worried a move might break the spell that overcame you both. You fiddled with your fingers, trying to calm the thoughts racing through your mind.

Kaz reached out a gloved hand, holding your hand to stop your anxious habit. You had held his hand before, mostly when he wore his gloves so that he wouldn't get too overwhelmed, but it always made you feel safe. The most dangerous man in all of Ketterdam was not dirtyhands here, he was Kaz, gentle and loving.

You watched silently as Kaz pulled his hand away and slipped his gloves off. You knew that he preferred to take things slowly, he needed to take things slowly. You were in no rush, you had all the time in the world for the man before you.

Kaz's hands were still shaky, trembling ever so slightly as he reached for you again. He slowly raised his good hand to your face, hesitating before making contact. His eyes held a question, asking kindly for your permission. You accepted with a small nod, unable to help the tiny smile on your lips. Kaz's hand was colder than you were expecting as he cupped your cheek, you were sure he would be able to feel how hot you were. His slender fingers sat against your jawline, his thumb feathering across your cheekbone, like he was exploring your face. You subconsciously leaned into his hand, closing your eyes and letting a sigh slip from your lips. You could live here forever, in this safety and warmth, tucked away from the prying eyes of Ketterdam.

Kaz took a shaky breath in and you pulled away, startled that you might have pushed him too far. He only smiled, taking a small step forward and keeping his hand on your cheek. You could feel his breath on your skin now, the ghosting of his fingers. It almost felt like a dream. Kaz leaned in a little closer, your foreheads almost touching. His eyes flickered from your lips to your eyes and back.

Kaz wanted nothing more than to close the gap between you and press his lips to yours. You were so warm, your face tucked into his hand like it was made to be held by him. Your breath tickled his skin, it reminded him how you were here, alive. Saints, if he could just lean forward and-

All at once the water was snatching him under. The feeling of your skin turning cold and deathly. He lurched back, holding in his gags of disgust as the freezing waters overtook him.

"Kaz?"

He fell backwards, scrambling to put space between you both as he choked on the waters.

You could only watch as Kaz scrambled away from you, unable to do anything to stop him. He pulled himself as far away from you as he could, becoming a mess of shaking and shuddering breaths. He was panicking, the anxiety and fear clearly written across his features. It hurt, you wanted to help him but you feared you might only make it worse.

You knew you wouldn't be able to leave him in such a state, hyperventilating on the floor of his room. So you slowly lowered yourself to the ground, a good meter away from him to not suffocate him.

"I'm here, Kaz," You said softly, watching over him, "You're safe."

He took another few shuddering breaths, but they were slower than the last. You took it as a sign to keep going.

"Take it slow," You spoke just above a whisper, "I'm not going anywhere."

You stayed a safe distance away as Kaz calmed down, watching over him and offering quiet reassurances as he slowly came to himself. When the panic was gone from his eyes, it was replaced with guilt. You knew how hard it was for Kaz to touch skin, you didn't know exactly why, but you didn't mind taking things slow for him.

You cut Kaz before he could say he was sorry, "It's okay."

Kaz reached for his gloves and shoved them on, "It's not."

You shuffled a little closer, "Kaz." The boy looked up at you with his dark eyes, "Truly, it's alright. I will wait for you. If it takes days, weeks or years, I will be here."

Kaz's eyes were glossy, you had never seen him cry but perhaps this was the closest he ever got.

"You, Kaz Brekker, are worth waiting for."

Kaz looked down, "Rietveld."

It caught you entirely off guard, "What?"

Kaz slowly lifted his eyes to yours, "My real name is Kaz Rietveld."

Your face burst into a bright grin, "Well, Kaz Rietveld, it's nice to meet you."

#kaz brekker #kaz and jesper #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #inej ghafa #inej x reader #inej ghafa x reader #six of crows #six of crows x reader #nina zenik #nina zenik x reader #matthias helvar #nina x matthias #matthias helvar x reader #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #wylan hendriks #wylan van eck #wylan x reader #wylan van eck x reader #six of crows nina #six of crows wylan #six of crows jesper #ketterdam #crooked kingdom #sab #soc #sab x reader #sab s2 #sab s2 spoilers

[sillysowa]

BOYFRIEND HOBIE BROWN HCS

PARTS: (1) (2)

wanted to put something out while i work on requests!

Main love language is physical touch. In cold weather he holds you under his jacket or holds your hands in between his, rubbing his thumbs over your skin.

Pulls you towards him by your waist, belt loops, jewelry (obviously super gently), and sleeves, always with a little, “C’mere.”

Sits you in his lap when you cry, holding your face in his hands and collecting your tears on his thumbs. He kisses your eyelids when you’re finished crying, massaging your scalp and letting you pour your thoughts out, “I’m here…talk t’me, gorgeous.”

Never let’s you tie your own shoes.

Sticks up for you in every social setting, especially when you’re not around to do it yourself. Everyone knows how much he admires you because he never misses an opportunity to build you up.

A huge sucker for sightseeing and owns a digital camera to capture every moment. He loves to make sure you’re in the shots, even just your bright smile, the back of your head, or your legs.

He’s a “I know a spot” kind of guy when taking you on dates instead of the typical movie or dinner date.

If the two of you are not a thing yet, he’s not subtle at all in his attraction towards you. He mirrors your body language, follows you around HQ or encourages you to follow him, tilts his head in conversation with you, and goes on all the missions that you go on (even if he wasn’t assigned to go with you!)

Likes to hold your chin or jaw when he kisses you. His eyes are often just barely open, wanting to see you.

Sees the act of sleeping with someone in a literal sense as a very intimate thing so he takes it very seriously when you’re trusting enough to do that with him. He cradles you gently, makes sure you’re comfortable, and will even sing to you when you need it. You’ve gotten so comfortable sleeping around him that you just get sleepy at the sight of him, wanting to cuddle up to him at every moment.

Nuzzles his face into your neck when he hugs you because he likes how sensitive you are to the feeling.

Despite all the loving things he does, he can be really mischievous; like definitely the type to shove a finger in your mouth when you’re yawning or tickle you when you’re stretching. He also will never miss an opportunity to throw you over his shoulder when he wants to nap with you, no matter what you were doing.

When you two fight, it’s never bad. He gets quiet when he’s upset, and doesn’t like arguing at all. He will just listen to your thoughts and talk when he’s calm, and he never ever makes you feel wrong for how you’re feeling.

Likes to go limp when he hugs you and freak you out because you’re suddenly supporting a strong 6’3 man who’s actively trying to crush you.

Never let’s you do anything that serves him by yourself—Cooking dinner? Great, what can he do to help? Cleaning? Cool, what should he start with? He never wants you to feel like you’re juggling too many responsibilities.

Begs you to cover him in kisses when you wear a bright lip color because he loves to show off, his hands on your hips the whole time you pepper him in pecks. Everyone at HQ stares and he soaks it up with a smug smirk on his face like he’s on top of the world—because that’s how you make him feel.

—

@ohxx @luxxtuxx @fatenpara @yuuotosaka3

#across the spiderverse #hobie brown smut #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown #spider punk #hobie brown fluff #hobie brown x you #hobie spiderverse #hobie brown angst #spiderman #silly’s fics

[starseungs]

after the curtain falls. lmh

lee know x gn!reader — spring was a season welcomed by all. what a pity that the notion of ‘all’ exempted you.

genre/s — angst, fluff, its just hurt-comfort, university au • 2.9k words

warning/s — break-up aftermath, profanity, commitment issues, minho gets called a bad bf (sorry), there's a twist i swear !

note — its quite literally been a year since i last wrote a fic so i would love to know how the quality of my writing is !! feedback is greatly appreciated 🫶

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

Spring was never supposed to be this lifeless.

It was a season of new beginnings, where growth is celebrated and life is nurtured back into full bloom. A time of bright colors and freshly scented air floating all throughout the expanse of space, bringing soft smiles of comfort towards anyone who takes it in. Springtime was welcomed by all.

What a pity that the notion of ‘all’ exempted you.

You didn’t know why your spring was so vastly different from the others near you. You’d like to think that your winter started off just as normal as everybody else: watching the crisp fallen leaves on the ground get replaced by a fresh coat of snow, feeling the familiar prick of the icy season’s breeze on your skin as your body tried to suppress a giggling shiver, as well as seeing puffs of steam come out of every warm breath you took, reminding you that despite the cold weather, you still held a warmth inside of you.

Just who would have known that your spring would be the complete opposite, with your heart frosted over despite the rising temperatures? But somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew exactly why. You would never want to catch yourself admitting it, but maybe it was the way your winter ended in a snowstorm of emotions.

It wasn’t every winter that someone had a fight that could completely shatter an intricately built mosaic. It also wasn’t every winter that you would watch your other half walk out of your life without so much of a single falter.

You knew so damn well that it wasn’t every winter that you could get your heart broken.

Perhaps that was why you allowed your heart to get glazed over by ice. After all, it was the only thing keeping it together without requiring you to spend too much effort. Sure, it melted a bit every now and then, but it was easier to freeze liquid than it was to achieve the complete opposite.

It was for the same reason that you found solace in the springtime evenings, where it resembled even half of the winter that was keeping you human. The dimmed atmosphere of the surroundings was able to neutralize all the parading palettes of color, leaving you with a monochrome wonderland that was much more comforting to the eye.

The walk back to your dorm building wasn’t anything special. It really wasn’t supposed to, nor did you expect something to happen. You had just gotten over the hurdles of coursework back in the school’s library when you decided to call it a day, peacefully trek back to your dorm room, and get to sleep the hours away until duty calls. That was how your evening was supposed to go.

Except it didn’t.

When you first saw a figure more or less passed out near the lower steps of your dorm building, you were visibly concerned. Why wouldn’t you be? At this time of the day, it would be dangerous to just leave yourself undefended in public. That, and who in their right mind would be willing to snooze away amidst the midnight breeze?

That was enough for you to start a little jog toward them. Was this person locked out? Were they drunk? Should you help them? All sorts of questions popped into your head as you got closer to the steps the figure took as their bed for the night.

And yet all those same questions vanished into thin air the moment you caught a glimpse of the person’s face.

“—Minho?”

His name came out of your lips so frail, as if any stronger, and the scene before you would shatter into nothingness, telling you once again that it was all in your head. That you had wished to see him again.

It was almost comical just how fast the sight of him brought back the familiar prick in your eyes—the tears fighting the crisp blow of the wind to keep themselves at bay. This wasn’t how your evening was supposed to go.

Granted, the fight between you was a petty one. Well, not more so petty than sudden since it literally blew up out of nowhere. It started off with a question about commitment. Arguably simple one of where you saw each other in a few years. You had gone first after you asked, rambling happily about graduation and living together. Minho chuckled along with your plans, and to you, he even seemed glad to hear them.

Yet, when the topic of marriage was brought up, his smile immediately turned blank.

Of course, you noticed his drastic change of mood right away. What kind of significant other would you be if you didn’t? But when you reached out to ask him what was wrong, he merely brushed it off as being tired.

Except that both you and him had done nothing but lay around the whole day.

Maybe you, too, had a fault in all of this. You prodded him more about the topic, not knowing you were agitating a ticking time bomb running out of time. If you only knew, then it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he eventually exploded, spitting out that he wasn’t too sure about marriage.

In your view, that would have been fine. You were willing to talk it out; perhaps he had other plans for the both of you that would settle just fine in yours. There was no way you’d pressure Minho into doing something he didn’t feel like doing. You had too much love and respect for him to do so.

It was in an unfortunate turn of events that you had to find out the sentiment wasn’t shared in the same way you did, as when he slammed your room’s door shut after expressing that it wouldn’t work out, he took a piece of your heart with him that left you incomplete on the days that followed.

And yet, there he was again. Marching into your life like nothing ever happened.

In a blinding flash of hot white fury, you marched up to Minho’s peaceful figure, blissfully unaware of the chaos headed his way. Your body shook in the repressed burst of energy, trying not to lose yourself in public despite the area devoid of people. After reaching him in less than a minute, you saw no hesitation in leaning down to wake him.

“Minho,” you grasped at his right shoulder, trying to shake him out of slumber. You saw the action as intense in a way that was borderline frantic, not a care for the state of the joint you had grabbed. After all, why would you? Yet, while you’d like to believe you did a great job at expressing your displeasure, a small voice pestering at the back of your mind begged to say otherwise.

It was a mere whisper—directed at the act you just committed, one that shouldn’t even bother you in the slightest. Yet, it did. So painfully so.

That kind of gentleness isn’t reserved for a heart swirling in rage.

The slight squeeze in your heart at the notion only made you grit your teeth further in displeasure. Curse your damned heart for keeping its fondness for the man before you. The same man who was still up in dreamland while you were fighting your own war at the present. You clicked your tongue in building irritation.

“Wake up, or else I’m leaving you out here to freeze.” With one last shove, Minho finally came back to Earth.

You watched as he fluttered his eyes open, ignoring the warmth that seemed to spread over you once you got a glimpse of his big almond eyes. Minho sure took his sweet time to process his surroundings, causing you to purse your lips in uncertainty when his gaze lingered on your figure towering over him a bit too long with an unexplainable emotion.

“Hi,” he mumbled slowly, a small smile ghosting on his rosy lips. “Even in my dreams, you never fail to look so lovely.”

Cold air filled your lungs as you sucked in a breath at his words. You hated the way he easily melted the ice that you had covered your heart in. Without even meaning to, Minho had already managed to tear down the first layer of protection you had set up to keep yourself sane. There were a lot of things you wanted to tell him back, but you held your tongue. This wasn’t the right time.

Nor would that time ever come.

“It’s not a dream,” you opted to inform him of what was left of the goodness in your heart, partly feeling guilty for his disoriented state. “Get up, Minho. It’s cold out here.”

“You’re—what, wait!”

Minho scrambled frantically from his seated position on the dorm building’s steps, clumsily finding his balance to get up. The rush of suddenly standing after a nap came over him like a wave, causing him to stumble with a groan as he let the blood that came up settle. You sighed at Minho’s efforts, turning back around to continue your way towards the entrance.

“You should go back home.”

“I won’t!” He replied in haste, pure desperation seeping over his words. “Not again. Not when I spend every passing hour regretting that I did back then when I clearly shouldn’t have.”

You felt your world still at what Minho had just said. Did you hear it correctly?

“Please, Y/N.”

Minho’s footsteps echoed in your mind, telling you that he was moving closer. But your body had yet to listen to the warning bells you had set off, keeping you still in the same place you had stopped in. You surprised yourself with the small whimper that escaped your lips after feeling warmth radiating right behind you.

“Can—can I hug you?”

And just like that, the dam broke as the first fits of sobs spluttered out of your body in waves, barely getting contained as Minho wrapped you with his arms firmly. You turned to face him just to throw weak punches at his chest. “I hate you so much!”

“I know,” he said, hugging you tighter, as if you would disappear the moment he eased his hold. “I know you do.”

“Do you know how hurt I was? How could you just leave me like that!”

“I don’t know,” Minho answers again, completely giving in to your inner turmoil. He let you dampen his hoodie with your tears without any reference. “I was stupid.”

“So stupid!”

“Very stupid,” he repeats your words without hesitation, finally pulling back slightly to see your tear-stained face, gently wiping the fresh drops that escaped with his thumb.

You cursed the way your body naturally leaned into his touch. You disliked the way his voice soothed your running mind from the horrors it placed upon yourself. You hated the way you felt comforted by his presence, the same way he hurt you with his absence.

And most of all, you despised the way you couldn’t bring yourself to stay mad at him.

“I’m sorry,” Minho said heavily, visibly trying to keep his own tears at bay. “I know that won’t fix all the things that happened, but I still wanted to let you know.”

You exhaled shakily.

“I—I won’t force you to accept my apology,” he continued. “But please—God, Y/N. I don’t think I’d be able to handle you telling me to go home and never fixing us. I wouldn’t survive in this world without you by my side. I promise I’ll do better for you. I’ll reflect on what I need to, just—”

Minho breathed in deeply.

“Give me another chance.”

The two of you breathed in unison for the first time in weeks.

“Cut!”

“Nice,” Jisung’s squeal of joy could be heard throughout the wide space, carefully fumbling with his video camera to watch the scene’s replay. “That was a great take!”

Seungmin groans at the noise level. “Seriously, would it hurt you to keep it down? Some people are already asleep,” he scoffs, really not wanting to deal with a complaint filed against them this late into the night.

The younger of the two only juts his lower lip forward into a childish pout. “But it’s only midnight. We’re in university. Who gets to sleep that early in university?” Seungmin only bites back a retort after sensing genuine confusion in Jisung’s tone.

“Whatever,” he grumbled.

At the sound of their bickering, the late night’s breeze didn’t seem to be as frosty as it was a few minutes ago. You distantly hear Seungmin and Jisung continue to talk, now finding themselves in a heated discussion about the next scene. A light chuckle was heard coming from the man still holding you.

“Well, I’m glad that they’re having fun,” Minho comments, greatly amused at the duo. You felt his gaze drop down towards your head, still resting on his shoulder. “Feeling okay?”

You could only nod at his query, too exhausted from enacting the scene that just finished. He hummed at your non-verbal approach to answering, running a hand through your hair to soothe your dropping emotions.

“What’s going on in that pretty little mind of yours?” You let out a soft giggle at his wording before snuggling yourself closer to his figure. Minho lets you do your thing with a smile.

“Let’s not ever do that.”

“Do what, love?” He asks, requesting that you elaborate. You listened to his heartbeat thump calmly before speaking up.

“Break up,” you said, the thought leaving a bitter taste on your tongue. “I don’t like the feeling. It hurts.”

Minho laughs again, but this time it was aimed at you. “Well, of course it’s going to hurt,” he says with a light tone. “You’re going to be losing me!” You slapped his arm in annoyance.

“You are such an ass, Lee Minho!”

“Ow—hold on!” He chokes out in between chuckles. Minho takes hold of the hand that was assaulting his arm, slipping it into his own and entangling both of your fingers. You couldn’t help the heat that washed over your face at the intimate action. Minho seemed satisfied with your reaction. “If it makes you feel better, it’s going to hurt me too.”

You pull away to raise a brow at his statement. “Why? Since you’ll be single?” Minho pretends to think for a second.

“I mean, I guess?” You shot him an icy glare at his admission, but the tender smile he gave back at you made your angry facade falter in an instant. It looks like on-screen you had the same issues with their own Minho—both being undeniably weak when it came to them.

“Stop giving me that look,” you sigh amidst a smile you were suppressing.

“What look?”

“That look,” you say, almost in a breath as you struggle to chase the words out of your mouth. “The one when you look at me like I’m the only person in this world.”

It was a look you’ve seen too many times. One that he would give you both at the most intimate of moments and the most random of times. You see it when you wake up in the morning to him already awake beside you; you saw it when you squealed in joy after winning a prize from those rigged claw machines in the arcade across town; and you see it especially when he sees you waiting outside his class’ building after an extensive lecture, holding two cups of coffee for both you and him. It was from those times that you realized—it was Minho’s gaze of unfiltered love for you.

Minho pulls you back into his arms, still unable to let go of his endearing grin. Your head finds its way back into the crevice of his neck, finding home in it once again, like second nature.

“That’s because you are the only person in my world.”

“We beg to differ.”

Minho could only roll his eyes at the eerily synchronized voices of Jisung and Seungmin, leaving you to crumble into fits of laughter. He scoffs before replying, “If I lose my beloved darling, then you guys are losing an actor.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be trying to salvage your relationship if you stopped being such a shit boyfriend!” Jisung bites back at Minho’s threat.

“What, so you would rather watch us be all lovey-dovey in front of you? I didn’t take you for that kind of person, Jisung.”

“Seungmin, he’s fighting me again!”

“What am I, your mom?”

The night continued on in blissful laughter and amused smiles, finally fitting for the season of spring. Even with the chilled breeze of the evening air, the warmth exuding from the four of you would remain, defrosting the ice you had layered on your heart for the scene given to you. Deep in your mind, you knew that this was really how your night was supposed to go.

That as much as you loved creating little scenarios for your friends’ films, you’d always prefer the life you had after the curtain falls.

mastertag 🔖— send in an ask if you want to be added ! 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @djeniryuu

sorry for anyone tagged that didn't want to be !! i used my old mastertag from a year ago for this fic. i'll be creating a new one soon, so kindly just tell me if you want to be included still 🤍

#starseungs-library #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz #skz x reader #stray kids #stray kids x reader #lee minho imagines #lee know imagines #lee minho #lee know #lee minho x reader #lee know x reader #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #lee minho fanfic #lee know fanfic #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #lee know angst #lee know fluff #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfiction #lee know fanfiction

[angelltheninth]

Genshin Men Being Your Ex But Still Doing Boyfriend Things

Pairing: Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Thoma, Childe, Pantalone, Dottore, Zhongli x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, break up, protectiveness, kissing, jealousy, clothes sharing, cuddles, hurt/comfort, gift giving

A/N: This was an ask! I'm sure it was! Did I imagine it? God I hope not.

Kaeya still sends you letters when he's away on missions for any amount of time. They're not as flirty as they used to be but he still ends them with calling himself yours. He never gives them to you in person, feels like it would seem like too much of a love letter but is happy to know you still keep every single one of his letters and read them when you feel alone.

Diluc insists on walking you home every night when your shift ends. It was in very awkward silence for the first month or so, with him keeping a bit of a distance between the two of you. That distance has melted away over time, now you walk side by side like you used to. You invite him to your apartment a few times too, not to start anything again but because you're grateful and want to make him a drink before he leaves.

Itto makes sure you don't get hurt when you're fighting against an enemy. Sure one might say that he has a protective streak for everyone he cares for but anyone who really knows him can see that he keeps a special eye on you. If you get hurt he will still carry you home in his arms, help you with your injuries and tuck you into bed, still plant a kiss on your cheek and wish you a quick recovery so you can get back to kicking butt together.

Thoma visits you every morning and helps you out with house chores and goes shopping with you. People do know you're not together anymore, they look at the two of you, he still smiling at you as bright as he can. He won't let a breakup stop him from giving you a helping hand when you need it. The only difference is that he doesn't get kisses in return anymore, at least he didn't until recently, on the cheek that is.

Childe acts like he's still your boyfriend when he sees you being hit on by someone who you're trying to get away from. This is fueled by his protectiveness as well as slight jealousy from his side. He won't tell you that, of course he won't. Hopefully you can't tell by the way he kisses you to send a message, or the way his smile turns panful when he has to take his leave.

Pantalone gives you gifts on holidays, special days or what would be your anniversary if you were still together. He doesn't expect anything from you in return and he made that very clear. He can't help but look around your apartment when he visits, searching for the place where you displayed his gifts and smiling to himself when he sees them, not thrown away or hidden from view.

Dottore puts his coat over you when he notices you're cold. Unlike other times he doesn't offer his body to warm you up with, he doesn't want to send you mixed signals. He hates those himself so if he wants you back he will state so clearly. Until then he will make sure you're not uncomfortable around him, you need to stick around if he's gonna make you his again.

Zhongli cuddles with you when he notices you're having a bad day. He always did this when you were still together and your life is too short for him to hold a grudge because you're not with him anymore. He would much rather give you as many good memories as possible, weather they be as your boyfriend or as a good friend. No matter what he will be there for you, he will be your person to lean on, to count on when ever you need him.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #itto x reader #thoma x reader #childe x reader #pantalone x reader #dottore x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact fluff #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin fluff #genshin impact x female reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x female reader #genshin x you

[thatdeadaquarius]

HELP I JUST HAD A THOUGH

WHAT IF

What if....

Blunt reader became a harbinger

I have NO idea how that would go but im here for the crack lol

I BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-

(and to use this gif more importantly they're all so hot here lol)

Sun: Reader (you/they/them), Blunt Language AU :D

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, crack treated srsly (yes im using ao3 tags atp)

Stars: Harbingers!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: none known & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

SO thought I’d update anyone missing out bc of the new year but-

I made this silly thing called Blunt Language AU, that was my 1st post for this blog/fandom actually! :D

I’ll link it here, but TLDR: it’s just our modern speech sounding “ancient” to the Teyvatians, who speak really flowery/fluffy/lots of context in comparison!

That’s all you rlly need to know to read this I think, so enjoy! :)

☆

u fall into Genshin Impact, and Snezhnaya is where you land first type of energy lol

weird golden star falling from the sky? that sounds like a prophecy the Tsaritsa knows abt alright

so they sent Childe, one of the friendliest (if not The Friendliest) Harbinger, to see if it was a valid claim you’d finally descended,

and ofc as soon as the redhead heard you try and talk to him, he knew the claims by the small village nearby (who had taken u in from the cold weather/taken care of you) were legit

pantalone did manage to squeeze some examples of what you’d possibly sound like into his head before he left so while Childe personally has a tough time talking to you, it doesn't mean he’s not willing to try!! >:)

he mostly just kept asking questions forever until he understood what you meant, and as soon he got u were asking abt the Tsaritsa, the other Harbingers, himself, even how to get Sneznayan-made clothes lol

he was like: 👀👀👀???!!!!

it wasn't so much recruitment at first as it was “omg the exalted one wishes to learn abt us, the Tsaritsa and her Harbingers? abt me?? well would your highness like to come to our palace perchance???!!!!”

= have u ever been seduced and worshipped by a god and her country?? would you like to- ??? ← Childe actually

and with that convinces you to come straight to the Harbingers/Tsaritsa’s very home

No, you’re not just spoiled.

No, you’re not just pampered.

You are cosseted and coveted.

The Tsaritsa makes her first in person appearance to the people in decades to personally announce your return, and to get a festival going to literally parade you into the capital lol

And tbh it was kind of shocking how quickly the people of Snezhnaya are able to whip out the party supplies, within days of traveling via horses/sleds/carriage/trains all kinds of transportation, u arrived at the capital in full swing of a parade for you

The Tsaritsa herself in what looks like a genshin-ified kokoshnik, the elaborate headress draped with a veil so thin it looks like frost covering her face,

flocked on either side by her harbingers in full (kinda goth) ceremonial outfits waiting on your arrival too

needless to say you are properly smitten intimidated

and you stay nervous around them for the first few days or so,

that is before you run into the weekly, what you would call “family dinner nights”, but they call “dinner reports”…

in which Childe, the only one you’d been comfortable enough around to be a bit more genuine to, and surprisingly the only one to quickly adapt to your speech after traveling with you for days, would translate for you what tf you were saying to them vs. what everyone at the table was saying to you/around you

you would also like to propose other titles for these weekly dinner meetings you’re invited to, aka “family feud dinner night/family fight night/harbinger on harbinger hate night/fruit on fruit crimes, if you will” 💀

the Tsaritsa is just peacefully talking to you abt any and everything, bc ofc Pierro’s on her right, and ur on her left

(she and Pierro are surprisingly soft spoken, very polite, and able to say something interesting/take an interest in whatever subject you all end up on)

u don't think you've ever been more comfortable and on such equal footing around ppl sm older than you (what are older ppl to you, but to them ur literally fucking eldritch with how ancient u are, and u can tell with how they treat u like it lmao)

hard cut back to the rest of the table:

an argument that just gets louder and louder has broken out between Childe, Dottore, La Signora, and Pantalone abt who should get free time with you first/get to do smth with you first as you get over ur adjustment period here, Childe has taken his butter knife to throw and just barely missed Dottore’s eye, and it is now embedded in the back of his fancy chair (the servants placing down dinner courses just move abt w/the most bored expressions on their faces)

(u send half the table if this group gets out of hand and u just: “Please shut the fuck up, each of ur comebacks take 30 minutes and it’s killing me” 💀 bc they're the most likely to understand u too, even Pierro/Capitano/Pulcinella chuckle a little, and u think the Tsaritsa smirked under her veil)

ur honestly too scared to see what Scarmouche, Sandrone, and Arlecchino are arguing about, because they're arguing so silently further down the table. They have murder in their eyes.

Columbina and Capitano are having a peaceful collab over weapons, armor, and clothing to offer you, Pulcinella is close enough to both participate in that convo and in you, Pierro, and the Tsaritsa’s convos too

by the 2nd week you've decided to choose chaos, and get them to play board games together sometimes (they cant all make it all the time, tbh u don't know if u can handle that either) but groups of them will play at a time

u remembered early on what a dick Dottore was, and sentenced asked if he’d like to play this new board game called “Monopoly” from ur world with Childe, Pantalone, Pierro, Arlecchino, La Signora, and Scaramouche all together :)

(so what ur trying to bring khaenri’ah part 2 down on his head as punishment?? u owe scara and collei that at least)

Columbina is more than happy to help get you Harbinger-like clothes to wear since ur so interested in the style!! (yes yesss get converted, she already has a title picked out for you)

she also giggles anytime u talk abt whether u like an outfit or not, bc u just “no thank you I’d rather wear a trash bag than that shirt, but lets try another?”

meanwhile the tailors in the background u could literally edit them to one of those videos where it just zooms in on their faces with a vine boom of shock

like Pierro, ur unranked, just above the other Harbingers really, as it wouldn't do to make you the 12th Harbinger or smth

the names they gave you being, “The Playwright” or “The Renaissance” or even “Drammaturgo”

(pls anyone who speaks Italian correct if I'm wrong ToT )

ok but the first time, unsurprisingly, one of them got snappy with you, likely Scara I would think,

Scaramouche, pissy: “And what shall we do if it appears our almighty god is perhaps a descender who is entirely human? Why I dare say you’d be transgressing on privileges that were never yours to begin with!”

Every other Harbinger, the Tsaritsa herself, the servants, the frost on the walls: 😶😦😨😶‍🌫️

You, unbothered, still eating and fully expecting this moment: “I don't want to hear it from someone who has god-mommy issues. You shouldn’t have an opinion about me, ur biased.”

yeah, so obviously, they’re emotionally all attached now whether they know it or not, and this was of course the moment they realized they're god would fit in so perfectly here

(the other nations are going to have to pry you from Snezhnaya from their cold dead hands, esp since u now have legal deniability to visit bc ur technically a Harbinger, only commanded by her majesty lol)

(Scaramouche, Arlecchino, and Sandrone were fighting about who gets the room nearest to your quarters lol)

(Capitano won, somehow??)

☆

sorry ive been slow lately guys, been just trying to work on alllll the fics these past weeks/days/however long its been??

anyway had the shift from hell last week so wish me luck with work this week if u see this 😭

hope u enjoyed this old ask/crack treated srsly post orah!! :D

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit

@kiyomi-uchiha777

#genshin sagau #genshin isekai #sagau #genshin imagines #my asks #aqua asks #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #gender neutral reader #genshin impact #genshin sagau isekai #so many tags #when will my suffering end #will i post eldritch part 2 first #or will i post player possessions chp 3 first #who knows #orah my beloved <33

[ultr6violnce]

⋆·˚ ♱ dating euro hc's

nsfw & sfw ♱ ⋆·˚

note ; this is only based on rory's portrayal , this is nothing ab the real euronymous.

SFW ♱.

he will definitely ties ur shoes for u. he thinks it's a little embarrassing especially when ur in the den n' the whole circles watching as he gets down on one knee and ties up the laces on ur boots. he goes a little red when they all start mocking him for being so 'head over heels' but how could he not be head over heels for his beautiful angel? he eventually tells them to fuck off and helps u off of ur feet and leaves the den with you.

when you go out to bars etc n' it gets to the time of leaving it'll most likely be early hours of the morning by the time u leave n' knowing oslo it would probably be raining or some sort of shitty weather so to spare you the shivering n' whining of being freezing cold he lets you wear his leather jackets , letting himself suffer all so his beautiful girl is nice n' warm. also he just thinks you look absolutely beautiful when ur practically swimming in his jackets , although he'd never admit it.

he loves having you do his corpse paint before a show. he'll have you sat on his lap in the bathroom , hands on ur waist , thumbs rubbing over ur waist as u drag the brush gently over his skin. trying to hold back from doing anything further as he stares up at you watching as ur face contorts into one of concentration as you makesure not to mess up on his face paint so it's all perfect for him to look good whilst he's up on that stage performing.

i kinda thinks it's a little ooc for him but it's cute so bare w me. but i feel like he'd comfort you after a fight. especially if it got physical or he said something that went to far. you'd probably storm off to the bedroom , tears soaking ur soft cheeks n' after so many minutes of pacing he'd slowly (and very shamefully) walk to the bedroom and he'd sit next to you , not saying anything for a while before apologising profusely. his eyes would be all big n' desperate as tears threatened to spill from them before he'd eventually just put his arm around you then his other under your legs and he'd lift you into his embrace and just comfort you as you cried.

also a little ooc for him but anyways , he would bring you like flower bouquets for ur birthday or just when he's feeling like it. obviously he'd make sure he's alone when buying them not wanting his friends to know how affectionate he is when he's with you and he'd always get u ur favourites n' just show up unannounced at ur apartment and give you them. at first you thought it was strange , he never seemed like the affectionate type and in all honesty he was the complete opposite but there was something about you that just brough out that affectionate side to him.

since you'd most likely be smaller than him , if he ever went to give you a kiss and was just too much of a lazy ass to lean down to ur level he'd put his hands to ur waist n' would let you stand on his feet so ur more at his height. all that just for a little kiss.

NSFW ♱.

starting off strong. he cums so much when he fucks u. like oh my god. that man will cum BUCKETS. he will literally drain every single drop of cum from his balls inside you , once he pulls out he'd like give ur ass a really harsh slap , enough to leave a bit sting n' would just watch it all ooze out before fucking it back inside you with his fingers.

he'd always tease you , especially when he fingers u. he'd always makesure he'd have his rings on so when he fingers you the cold metal of his rings graze against ur walls as his fingers curl inside u and plunge inside you deeply.

he defo has a wax play kink. like js hear me OUTTT like he'd be fucking u n' after a while you'd feel this hot liquid pouring down ur ass cheek n' he'd just be pouring little trickles of wax over ur sensitive skin as his cock just pounds into u deeper.

kinda a hot take but um he loves cockwarming!! sorry not sorry. like he'd makesure you were sat on his cock nice n' perfectly , making sure you didn't move , slapping ur ass if u made one wrong move even though if you even moved an inch he'd cum straight inside ya.

he's also a big fan of public sex. like that man will fuck you anywhere , anytime. literally name any place and he'll be pounding you in it. e.g: supermarket bathroom (maybe even an aisle if he's feeling it) , storage closet at the studio they'd go to sometimes to practice , he'd even fuck you infront of the public eye. like say you'd be sat out somewhere where quite a few people were and he'd just have you shamelessly bouncing on his cock , not making it obvious but also obvious enough that it catches a few eyes.

he's so loud. no matter what you're doing to him or what he's doing to you. he's loud. which only really became a thing when he started dating you. you were just so good he can't keep that running mouth shut. he could literally be tongue deep in ur pussy and he'd be a moaning mess. like no matter what he's doing he will be moaning , groaning n' whimpering like a bitchhh.

a/n: finally came up w some stuff , it's not the best but i haven't written a full thing like this in what feels like forever so y'knoww i had to cuz i js love spoiling u guys so much!! plus I've been up all night watching PLL and i can't sleep so I've just been coming up with ideas and the boom this was created so i hope u enjoy angels. love u all smm!! :3

#rory culkin #i ❤️ rory culkin #smut #r!euronymous #lords of chaos #rory culkin x reader #rory culkin smut

[pedgito]

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓 & 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 | a joel miller x reader oneshot

summary: this is based around work song by hozier, felt a deep need to write some joel miller comfort stuff. listen to the song if you fancy, it really helps, i swear. this is just a lot of angst, fluff, and longing wrapped into a 5k fic i wrote out a couple weeks ago out of missing writing and joel miller.

word count & warnings: 5k | 18+, fem!reader, mentions of violence/blood/fighting (nothing graphic), joel being in a state of shock, sex for comfort/coping, no heavy sex warning it's just v intimate, psuedo love confessions bc joel is bad with words

It’s like an atom bomb uprooting your world with the heavy rasps of a hand against solid wood, sending a sharp buzz of electricity down your spine as you shoot up from your position on the couch, nearly tripping over Ellie on the way. The remnants of a night spent like a teen, enjoying a sleepover with the young girl who had a lot to talk about. You knew enough about Savage Starlight that you were practically an aficionado now, but that didn’t matter. 

Ellie only stirs slightly, turning on her side on the cushion of her make-shift pallet and you open the front door slowly despite your rapidly beating heart.

Joel never knocked, never really announced himself. He would come in quiet, quick, and busy himself upstairs. You knew that because he usually found you in his bed, waiting for him.

Tonight was a little different. 

No grave can hold my body down,

I'll crawl home to her

You world spins as you see what’s on the other side, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you see him.

Joel. But he wasn’t alone.

“Maria—“ It’s laced with too many emotions, too many meanings. You shift your gaze between the two.

“Everyone—“ Maria has to force herself to take a deep breath, a careful hand on Joel’s arm as she forces him to take a step forward, “everyone is fine.”

“Maria, he’s covered in blood.” As if that wasn’t obvious.

It was crusted and oxidized down, sticking to his skin and covering him like something out of a horror movie. He wasn’t shaking, that was the first thing you noticed. Joel was unnaturally still. Frozen.

“Do you have him?” Maria asks, only expecting one answer. “I’ve gotta tend to Tommy and he’s not telling me a damn thing.”

“Is he hurt?” Your brow furrowed in concern, but Maria doesn’t elaborate at all. You reach for Joel silently, his skin icey to the touch, the rigid, cold weather partially to blame.

“He’ll be alright.” Maria assures you with a nod and she’s gone without another word, leaving you to stare at the shell of a man before you, his eyes boring into the ground, staring at the scuffed up material of his boots, not a word to be spoken. Not even so much as a breath.

“Is he in shock?” Ellie’s less than chipper voice speaks from behind you, forcing your heart to kickstart again.

“Um, I don’t—know…” You pull him inside gently, which he doesn’t fight, but he feels lifeless, “has he—have you seen him like this before?”

“Never.” Her eyes well with silent tears and you quickly shoo her away. Ellie almost seems thankful. Joel can’t admit it to himself but Ellie knows. 

You care. 

“Go upstairs and get some sleep, Ellie.” You assure her, “I can handle it.”

The walk to Joel’s bedroom feels miles away. Joel shows no signs of life still, as you drag him inside of his room and shut the door with a soft click.

“You need to shower.” 

Joel knows this, he can smell it on him.

The smell of death.

You smell it too, but you can’t bring yourself to admit it.

“Joel,” You speak softly, invading his line of sight, a gentle touch against rough skin, his scruff a few days grown and there’s a small twitch as your warm hand makes contact, “are you here?”

His nod is a sigh of relief, a weight off your chest.

“Okay—okay, that’s good,” You keep your voice low, like a secret between the both of you, “do you need my help?”

Joel shakes his head weakly, pulling at the buttons of his thick coat, realizing slowly that it was just as bloodied as the rest of him. He wants it off. All of it. Now.

“Are you going to fight me if I try to help?” It’s lighthearted, but you can see how deeply it digs at Joel, like a fresh wound. “Sorry—I just, I want to help. Okay?”

He doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t push your hands away when they reach forward and take the coat from his hands. You toss it in a nearby corner, out of sight and out of mind.

You could handle it later, get rid of the mess so Joel wouldn’t have to bother with it.

He toes off his boots after tugging at the laces, delicate fingertips tracing down his chest as you unbutton his flannel, forcing it down his shoulders. It takes a moment, but eventually he’s down to his boxers and tattered white undershirt, barefoot on the hardwood floor.

And he stops, leaning into you, pressing his forehead against your own in a silent bid of thankfulness, a heavy sigh escaping his chest.

Joel showers alone, eerily quiet. You get rid of the clothes, bringing them out to the garage to deal with in the morning.

Joel is already in the bed by the time you make it back to his bedroom, but if he was actually asleep was yet to be discovered, the nightmare replaying behind his eyelids unbeknownst to you. 

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Joel wasn’t supposed to come back until later in the evening that day, well after work was wrapped up for the day and everyone was already tucked into bed. You found yourself in Joel’s bed most nights now, off and on for the first few months but now, almost a year into…whatever this was, it was a weekly thing, as often as Joel wasn’t out on patrol. 

There was never an agreement about what this was either, not that there needed to be. But, the unspoken rule was to keep your problems away–the anger, the fear, the suppressed feelings you both have tried to keep at bay for weeks now. Joel only mildly complains about things around Jackson, but never about his life before, how he feels now, or how his pseudo-daughter seeks out comfort in your presence when Joel isn’t around. 

Joel hasn’t stirred for hours, or so it feels. The night sky fades away into early morning, the tiniest amount of dawn peeking through his window and bathing him in a shadow of blue. The crinkle of sheets pulls your attention toward his face, your body heats like a furnace as it slid near, hoping that even in his slumber he might draw closer. There’s a brief moment where you think he might wake, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls you closer. Nuzzles. 

You’ll take it. 

He moves silently, letting you hold him. An arm slipped under his head, a leg slipped between his own thighs and his hands found their way around your middle and you sigh, a deep breath through your nose that does nothing to calm your worrying, aching heart. 

If he wanted to talk about it, he would. That’s all you can hope for.

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

Joel is edging on delirious. The adrenaline was beginning to wane and he kept seeing things in faint recollection. The faces of the couple that had snuck into the cabin he and Tommy were patrolling last night, the fear on his brother’s face–something he hasn’t seen from Tommy since they were teenagers. They’re battle-hardened warriors, attack first and ask questions later. His brother was helpless then and if it weren’t for Joel’s terrible bout of insomnia—he couldn’t think about it.

He feels everything finally caught up to him, the physical exertion, the mental toll, he’s never slept so easily in his life and he feels terrible about it. He feels terrible about bringing this on you, forcing you to help piece him back together and keep him from falling apart. 

Joel is a man, solid and steel-like in his ways but he’s not invulnerable to emotion. He feels it creeping in as he blinks his tired eyes open, the flutter in his chest growing strong when he feels you wrapped around him and his own limbs just the same. 

He could’ve swore you left. The look on your face, of pure terror and disgust as he poured his heart out to you, but Joel quickly realizes that was only a dream, something his mind cooked up in the haze of hysteria.

“Is Tommy hurt?” You ask with a timidness he’s not used to, your fingers massaging at the base of his neck, twirling a curl of his hair around your finger idly, “Maria...didn’t say, she looked exhausted.”

We don’t talk about these things.

We don’t talk.

We don’t.

“I’m not asking you to tell me what happened,” You assure him like he’d spoked aloud, “Just…even a nod, Joel. Anything.”

Joel waits too long, to the point where you think he’s fallen back asleep. But eventually, he shakes his head. You relax briefly. No, he wasn’t hurt.

But, that doesn’t explain the blood. 

As much as you wanted to know, it wasn’t your place to ask.

She never asked me once

about the wrong I did

Joel doesn’t understand why he feels drawn to you, so eager to have you here, home. You had your own place, your own things, but when you were here it almost felt normal. Real. He’s dragged this out for months, avoiding the looks you give him when things get a little too intense and he pulls away. 

Ellie calls him an idiot every month that passes, knowing how good it is to have you around.

“Jesus, Joel—you can’t really be that oblivious.”

Joel forces Ellie to drop it.

But, not before she mumbles the word under her breath.

There’s a soft sob that racks your body as Joel stirs, crying silently above him with worry. You weren’t as great at burying those emotions as him, unfortunately.

Because, for tonight, well—it was almost too much to process.

“I took care of it,” Joel speaks through his gruff, sleep-filled voice, “Tommy’s fine.”

It? Took care of it? Come on, Joel.

“It was a couple. Hunters. They were from the west.”

You stay silently, scared that speaking might startle him too. You didn’t want to steal the chance of knowing, understanding.

“I handled it.” The emphasis around the word is enough to make you understand.

He killed them. There was no way around that.

“I’ve never…” The quiver in Joel’s voice is apparent, no matter how hard he tries to mask it, “I’ve felt a lot of things. Anger, betrayal, but that fear—”

You squeeze your eyes shut, pulling Joel closer into the space you shared.

“They had their hands around him,” Joel explains slowly, like he’s trying and failing to relive that sight in his mind, “my damn hearing, old fucking age—another minute and things would’ve been a hell of a lot different.”

“But, you took care of it.” You affirmed him and his hands tightened against your skin. “Seem pretty damn capable to me.”

“Fuckin’ cowards.” Joel spits out, “We were sleepin’ and they tried to get the jump on us.”

“It’s alright, though—Tommy’s okay, you’re…okay,” You hesitate, a quiver of a breath from Joel ghosts over your chest, his tired eyes peering into yours, “You’re okay, right?”

“Always am,” Joel assures you with a low, soft response, “had so much on mind, though, ya’ know?”

“Well, yeah—”

Joel shakes his head, cuts you off for a brief moment. You don’t really mind, talking felt too draining right now.

“Ellie’s still learnin’, she can’t even go out on patrol by herself. Tommy and Maria have the baby now.” Joel’s fingers squeeze again, a nervous tic he’s picked up when he’s got himself wrapped around you, the urge to say things he wishes he could but can’t. You’re begging for it now, wondering if this was the moment. “I couldn’t live with myself if things went the other way.”

My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

Joel was a killer. Is. But, with good intentions. Not that it was needed anymore.

Survival, family, protection. He’s killed for the wrong reasons and the good ones, but it’s never been something you’ve judged him on. You never even questioned it. You accepted it, moved on, and treated him like everyone else. But, of course, there was a tinge of sweetness that creeped in, got him all caught and wound up in your web.

“Did she give you any trouble last night?” It’s a quick turn from the heavy conversation you were having, but it isn’t lost on you. He’s silently asking things to shift to something else.

“No more than the usual,” You shrug, talking softly in the early morning ambience, wind howling outside his bedroom window, a storm brewing on the horizon, “I don’t think it’s me that you should be worried about her giving trouble anyways.”

He would be stuck here in Jackson for a few days. You’ve never been more thankful for shitty weather in a goddamn apocalypse. 

“That kid loves you.” Joel comments fondly, and I do too.

“Only because I help her and Dina sneak out during town movie nights,” You admit, glancing away sheepishly, “she really worries about you.”

Joel nods knowingly, his usual scowl returning to his face. You reach forward, rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone—in this light he looks fine, untouched and perfect, but he winced at the contact. He’s a tough man, but he’s not invincible. 

The touch of his fingers as they wrap around your palm are instinctive, he’s careful that he doesn’t startle you by the quick action, but it’s almost like he’s being shocked and brought back to hours before, the one hit they managed to land on him.

You’ve seen a few of Joel’s violent outbursts, yelling matches upon yelling matches with Tommy but it’s never been directed at you. You retract slightly, fingers curling over the top of his own.

“I’m sorry,” You apologize, “I didn’t realize—“

“I would never hurt you.” Joel says adamantly, but you can’t help but feel puzzled. “I’m not a monster.”

That idea never crossed your mind.

“Defending yourself doesn’t make you a monster, Joel.”

Joel doesn’t know why he feels the need for validation. 

“Maria—she thought I,” Joel laughs sadly, a huff of air that borders on defeat, “Tommy was hitchin’ the horses up and she saw me first, without him and she thought I left him behind. That I sacrificed my own damn brother to save my ass.”

Maria had never been fond of Joel, that much was always apparent, even from the moment you met. She tolerated him because he was Tommy’s brother but that was all. There was no way around it. 

“I’ve done plenty of shit to cement my place in hell somewhere, and so has Maria,” You tell him, “Doesn’t matter what she thinks, Tommy knows you would never do that.”

Joel squeezes your waist tighter, the soft skin molding under his calloused fingertips, “You’re too damn good to me.”

The kissing starts slowly, a soft caress as Joel moves in closer, and doesn’t even try—he waits for you, teasing you with a touch until you can’t fight anymore and you press your lips against his gently. It’s the first time in the last several hours that Joel doesn’t feel like he’s drowning, barely skimming the surface to keep himself afloat. 

He feels horrible, using you like this—coping with things by stowing them away and surrounding himself with you in a hope that you wouldn’t ask anymore questions, that he would have to explain his actions or justify them. But, you taste too damn sweet under his tongue and he prods until you let him in, a small sigh leaving your mouth as your lips part. 

“Fuck, darlin’.” He swears like a symphony, sounding more devious than it should as it leaves his lips, “Can’t keep at this, not with Ellie upstairs.”

“Joel, she’s not here.” It’s not so obvious to Joel, who’s just about as oblivious to every teen antic thrown his way. “She’s out with Dina, probably. That’s usually where she goes when she’s upset.”

Joel’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“I heard her moving around when you were asleep,” You explain quietly, jostling your head slightly on the pillow until Joel’s situated over you slightly, his head resting in the palm of his hand that held him upright, “it’ll do you some good to talk to her in the morning.”

Joel nods knowingly, half-smiling as he pushes your hair behind your ear, his thumb finding the sensitive dip behind your lobe and rubbing until you couldn’t hold your laughter in, letting it bubble out weakly before falling silent, a soft, but serious look growing across your features.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” You tell him, “please.”

“C’mere,” Joel nudges his chin upwards, drawing you in close, “I’m not goin’ down without a fight, darlin’.”

“I’m serious,” You don’t need to force a love confession on him, not that it would salvage anything or make things better, because Joel already understands—there’s too many instances where he’s felt his heart tug in all the weird, uncomfortable places he’s kept locked away since he was younger, before the outbreak, before Sarah, “you can’t do that anymore.”

“I’m here,” Joel assures you, forehead pressed firm against your own as he nods, “I’m right here.”

He failed to mention how after the attack, the split second of everything flashing through his memory, the possibility of losing Tommy, disappointing Ellie, that you were the one thing that kept him conscious enough to come home.

He’d left you with a burning kiss the day he left, kissing like two lovebirds trying to keep a secret as you hung around the stables as the pairs readied to leave. 

It was his own little promise of a return, but you didn’t realize in just what shape. He was good at masking, even now. Joel was hurting, but all he wanted was you.

And you could give him that.

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Joel hums, soft and quiet, “Don’t move,” He pleads, “need you right here.”

His palms are heavy, feeling so much larger than they should as they span the length of your body, pulling you in close and cradling you like a safety blanket. Maybe you should stop, it isn’t the best route to cope with the situation, but Joel is there—wanting and needing and he’s mouthing at the junction of your neck in a way that has you gasping for air. 

He needs you to occupy his mind, it’s what you did best for him. Joel needed somewhere else to be, anywhere but the hellscape behind his eyes when sleep succumbed to his pure exhaustion.  

Just a moment. Just a moment to breathe. To feel.

Your brow furrows so deep that you're scowling now, but mostly out of concern, forehead scrunching from the emotion and you cradle Joel’s face carefully between your hands, “Tell me what you need.”

You. 

He doesn’t say as much, but you can feel him sifting for your tattered pajama pants as he digs his fingertips under the waistband and yanks, hoping you’ll get the idea. 

Okay, this is fine. He needs sex, you can provide him that. But, you won’t let him escape. Joel needed to be present and here with you, not forcing himself to some far off space in his mind and keeping you around him like nothing more than a warm body for him to fuck.

He’s got you all pliant under his touch as he needs at soft skin, thumb digging into your hip bone as he shifts between your legs lazily, spreading you wide and using the arm that is holding most of his weight to unfurl his hand and reach for that tight space behind your knee, tucking that leg up and over his right hip—this feels undoubtedly vulnerable, but he’s staring at you with those eyes and you absolutely fucking melt, his mouth parted by mere centimeters as his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip.

“Go on, darlin’,” Joel encourages, “I know you need it too.”

That was an understatement.

He’s already hard, head of his cock resting against the small expanse of skin between his groin and belly button. It’s like a wave of heat that rushes over your bodies when you finally touch him how he’s been begging—not so much with words but pleading looks. He needs it even more than you do. 

Usually you would spend a while in the throes of leisurely foreplay, letting Joel devour you until you were nothing but a heap of numbness on the bed and only then would he allow you what you were begging for the entire time. His cock, buried deep enough inside you that it felt impossible. But, there was none of that.

Your thumb slides over the head, smearing the precum in a too teasing motion that has Joel cursing under his breath before you’re abruptly guiding him to your core, slick and waiting without a single touch, embarrassingly so. Fortunately, you and Joel were long over that. Joel was overly aware of the effect he had on you—mind, body, and soul. 

He slides home and you have to take a moment, a second to breath, chest expanding with a full breadth of air as Joel pulls you in closer, if that was even possible, warm hands settling firm on your hips, his head resting against the pillow you both shared, “There she is,” Joel comments vexingly, “always know what you need, right, baby?”

As good as it feels to hear him, the way he can melt you with a single phrase or sound, he’s still on guard in the way he’s shielding himself against your body, rocking his hips in a motion that drowns out all relative thinking and it builds, builds until you can’t take it and you feel like you just might burst. You slip a hand out from under him to pull at the chain on his bedside lamp, drowning you in a soft yellow glow and Joel doesn’t look right away—that’s how you know. 

“Switch me,” You suggest softly, followed by an even lower, disgruntled noise from Joel, “—Joel, come on.”

Joel feels that distant ache in his bones, the soreness in his hands from the damage they caused, he groans with the movement, but even louder with the way you sink back down onto him once he’s settled against the mattress, hands fisted into his shirt and rumpling it up his stomach, revealing a few inches of soft skin, grinding down against him until he’s nearly writhing. His mouth opens slightly, ready to say something you didn’t want to hear.

You offer a soft shhh, eyes focused on the lines of his face, beautiful with age and scrunched up in pleasure, eyes closed as he settles into the feeling of you again, “Stay with me,” You jeer quietly, a soft giggle settling on the surface as you smile, ever so slightly, ”‘can you do that?”

Sometimes it feels like an impossible feat, but Joel grips you a little tighter, pulls you in ever the more closer and the slick of your body feels so goddamn good, he doesn’t even realize his thought breached his lips before your breath is hot against his ear, his mind battling the thoughts buried under the surface and every filthy thing he could blurt out in the moment, he’s so tense with anticipation, “Stop thinking so hard, Joel. You’re home. Safe.”

And for once, he gives in. A long, hard fought battle that succumbs to his own exhaustion, allowing the kinder touches, the intimate glances between two people, almost like your fingertips were grazing each other’s souls. It’s felt intense before, but this moment is sharp around the edges and Joel knows what you need to hear. He’s fought it for a while, trying to right his wrongs, remind himself still, that he didn’t deserve you. He’s done fighting.

“Just need you, darlin’.” He admits gruffly, lips sliding against each other in a messy, lazy attempt at a kiss, “Always know just what to do.”

In other words, you could read Joel like a book.

And in the few years you’ve known him, you were hoping that was the case, considering the level of intimacy you’ve reached. Joel comes with a tired, drawn out groan that pierces you deep, and you’re right there—right there, before Joel is flipping you over with little fight on your end, sucking on your clit with a ferocity that doesn’t let up, coming with a shout as you grip his hair at the root, riding out the extent of your climax against his mouth as he eased you into your sated state of exhaustion.

The comedown is heavy, long, extended bouts of silence as you two try to catch your breath, slow your pounding hearts and Joel, at some point, finds his way higher up your body, his head laying against your chest, just underneath your breasts and it's an easy position to rub your fingers into his hair, along the planes of his face. He'd never admit it, but this is his favorite part. The after.

For you, it was everything.

"I want you around more often," Joel says quietly, like a whisper, "—m'tired of worrying about you when you're not around."

It almost makes you think you slipped into some sort of fugue state, not believing that the Joel Miller had said anything remotely close to a confession. But, then again, he surprised you every day. And you knew he couldn't ask you outright, not now, maybe not ever.

But, you'd settle for this.

"I'm not going anywhere, Joel." You promise, "You've always got me to come home too."

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #tlou fanfiction #my writing #posting this and hiding for another six months #pedrostories

[penvisions]

by the grit of sandpaper {chapter 6}

Pairing: Jackson! Joel Miller x Patrol Partner! Reader

Chapter Summary: With the splinter of wood and a muttered insult, you're done. You're done with the town; you're done with the hot and cold from Joel. You're tired and you don't have anymore fight left.

Word Count: 8.7k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, illusions to past death, illusions to past trauma, heavy angst, blood, mild injuries, description of stitches, reader had a mild injury, the holidays are hard, a lot on internal monologue in this (both joel pov and reader), hurtful language, town gossip, rumors, negative feelings, pining, heart of gold joel, though he is a bit daft in this, carpenter joel, woodworking joel, artisan joel, patrol partnership, lots of feelings, hurt and comfort, casual intimacy, urges to kiss joel miller get their own warning, adult content, kissing, yearning, protective joel, fluff, this is so unbelievably angsty, reader loses her cool, argumentative language, heated arguments, threatening language, fighting, wwe smackdown, reader is described as smaller than joel (bc c'mon), reader has a commonly used nickname but no assigned name, joel and reader pov

A/N: okay, this is the penultimate chapter! this series grew into something way beyond a cheeky handful of scenes that were just a random thought six months ago. it's been a joy to write for these two, i've put so much of myself in olive and for y'all to root for her and love her really warms my heart. the interaction with this has been insane and i love all of it, i love y'all

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

Sleep was such a pull on your psyche as the wind outside howled, battering anything that wasn’t secure and echoing loudly through the empty streets of Jackson. The habit of waking up throughout the night to peer outside your bedroom window and toward the small slip of the front street over your backyard fence periodically had been amplified in the storm. Unease settled in you, the storm bringing back memories you would father let fade into nothing. Inclement weather had been a challenge back when the world was whole, when safety measures were in place, when medical aid was abundant, when homes and buildings were constructed with them in mind. But even back then, they had been devastating.

And now?

They were as deadly as the virus.

Incessant snowfall all through the night, the light sprinkle of it last night turning into slanted sheets of downpour. It was blindingly bright on the other side of the windowpanes.

Despite the lockdown put in place by the council, you had told Maria depending on the streets that you would still make it to the mess hall. The intention of baking some breakfast casseroles hard to shake, of wanting to provide for those who may not have stock in their homes, or who relied on the mess hall as a main source of food. Layering as much as you could to combat the below freezing temperature, you pulled on your boots by the front door. Grabbing a knit cap and a scarf, you opened your front door and trudged through the snow drifts that had formed overnight.

Joel is panicking before he’s even fully conscious. His heart feels like it’s stopped but knows that it’s beating far too fast. His entire body feels weak and achy, his head pounding and overflowing with too many things. He felt nauseous, the drag of his lungs and the slushing of his stomach too much for him to handle. He groaned, pressing his face further into the pillow, the scent of his body wash wafting up and making it even worse.

He fucked up. He knows he did.

You had raised your voice at him, refused his help, his touch. Even as you laid collapsed on the ground because he had accidently knocked you down. You had been so worked up, so angry, but he had seen the way you clutched to your middle as you fled from him for a second time. He cursed low, the words a growl as he kicked the blankets from his sweating body despite the chills crawling down his spine.

“Fuckin’ hell.” He knew that woman was bound to be nothing but trouble. She was always a little too chatty for him, too willing to burst his bubble of personal space. But she had wiggled her way into his life and coerced him into a huge project that had taken so much of his free time leading up to the holidays.

He was a giving man, having been influenced by the acceptance he had been given here in the settlement, wanted to do what he could to help establish himself here. Not wanting to go back to the eat or be eaten mantra of the outside world or a collapsing quarantine zone. He had wanted to be everything he could manage for Ellie, to keep her safe here in a place that would allow for her to heal from the things they endured together. To survive in a way she hadn’t had the chance to, to have a life that wasn’t all bad. He had done his best to integrate, to be someone she could look up to and feel safe around. All of it had been for her, to have holidays, to have friends, to have a chance at finding out who she was without the undercurrent of survival being the only inspiration. And maybe ha had wanted it for himself too.

He had wanted to invite you over, try his hand at making you something for a change. If you had teased him over it, so be it, he would’ve taken it without argument. Just to see your lips quirk up and your soft laughter ring in the air of his kitchen. He would give anything for it to be his to witness.

The faux image of the domestic scene melted away, replaced by the one of you on the ground at his feet, with fear in your eyes. He hadn’t thought you were afraid of him, so open and willing to be in his space.

To tease him and lightly berate him when his answers were less than appropriate or too gruff.

Joel had never shown violence or distaste toward you, but yeah maybe he had been quieter or moodier on some patrols. But he wouldn’t get the chance to speak with you today. Patrols cancelled until the blizzard raging outside calmed down. A safety precaution that had been made lightly by the council. The risk of a group or pair getting stuck, of horses unable to handle it, of snow drifts forming and virtually undetectable, all of it had been taken into consideration. He wasn’t sure you were even cleared for patrol with your stitches. No pain killers you had said, reserved for extreme cases with how the supply was dwindled down to too little for a town of a few hundred.

Groaning as his head hammered, Joel shoved up from the bed, the blue sheets showing damp spots from his sweating and aching body. Scowling, he stripped the bed and made his way downstairs with them bundled in his arms. He felt a weird sense of déjà vu as he stuffed them into the top loading washer, reaching for the jar of powdered soap and pouring in a scoop. It was all so fucking normal. But his whole world felt like it was tilted, off kilter. Even more so than normal.

And it was because he knew he fucked up. He had hurt you, he had seen in it your eyes as you took in the way Marsha was clinging to him in her drunken state. The way she had deemed herself important enough to impinge on his time with you, so rare within the walls. Both of you so busy and both of you so afraid to ask after each other’s time. He knew he was, because he didn’t want to intrude on the way you kept to yourself, how you let your errands build up to take a whole day sometimes. And he knew some of that was because of the way people wouldn’t hold conversations with you, let alone start them. Opting to keep to yourself as a coping mechanism. Not wanting to feel like you were imposing yourself on the people who didn’t want to interact with you. He knew, because he had felt much the same way back in the quarantine zones, even if it was more born out of fear than distaste like it was for you.

He knew when you stumbled over your words to ask after him crafting something for you that you had worried yourself into a state before you even did it. Worried about taking up his time, taking up his resources, even if you had supplied him with the wood for the project. He had felt like a complete ass when you shut down and walked away, having felt comfortable enough to ask for something more when he had agreed to the first.

But Marsha. Marsha and her ill-placed infatuation with him had ruined the moment last night. You had told him you liked him, liked him. The heat he felt from you as he leaned in close and wanted to tell you he felt the same way. Shared and stolen kisses could only infer so much. And he groaned at the memory of pulling your hand over his erection the other morning. He was a damn fool to have done that, you had been pulling your hand away, but you had been touching him in his sleep. When he wasn’t able to tell you no, when something inevitably broke the moment, when something startled you or you thought too hard about it. You had just done it and the dilation of your eyes watching him, the hitch of your breaths, it had all been too tempting. He wouldn’t have told you no and he would’ve ignored the world ending all over again if it meant he could be with you in that way, even just once.

The older woman broken another tentative moment between you two. With the courage of alcohol flowing in her veins. It had made her bold in her words to him, her sentiments, her actions. Hell, the only reason he hadn’t heard your steps on the street was that he had been in shock. She had surged up and pressed her lips to his after he had denied her offer of a nightcap. He had just been trying to walk her home and make sure she was safe, even if he wasn’t overly fond of her, her friends had all been too unaware of themselves to help her.

Anger had overridden the shock; how dare she think she could do that. His heart wasn’t his to give, it was yours. And he had been about to tell you so.

The weak arguments of the woman defending herself and the gift she had gotten him even if she hadn’t gotten his name in the exchange for today had blurred his senses even more. His mind focused on the holiday, on taking you the gift he had made along with his heart. Hoping that today would be the day things were out in the open, plainly spoken and accepted. He only worried about how well you would receive him after being caught with Marsha last night.

Today.

Today was Christmas and the town was in a semi-state of lockdown with the strong winds and flurries of show raining down to collect along the streets. The bite to the air the worst of the season so far. Turning the washer on, he moved toward the coffee maker. Only to discover that he was out of grounds to brew.

With a string of muttered curses, Joel bundled up and braved the weather to cross the street.

He needed coffee and the gift he had left with Maria yesterday.

Tommy was pacing back and forth, waiting for the second pot of coffee to finish brewing. It had been an early morning, Maria rising hours ago and taking off with another neighbor to trek toward the mess hall where you had diligently showed up for your shift. Everyone had been advised late last night to remain indoors unless absolutely necessary.

A knocking barely echoed through the still howling wind. Thankfully, the snow had stopped, though it was built up deep all around the settlement.

A few moments later and both men were seated in the living room, the tea light candles flickering underneath two names etched in chalk above the mantle.

“She won’t be home much today.” Tommy supplied, reading the anxious silence Joel was stewing in beside him. “She trekked through one of the worst bouts of this weather to get to the mess hall. Wanted to make sure everyone had something to eat in case the power stutters or goes out. Her, Maria, and a couple others are gonna deliver meals door to door.”

“She’s too good for how people treat her.”

“From what I hear, you haven’t been treatin’ her too good either, brother.” Tommy took a long pull from his mug before he set it down on the coffee table. “She was over here after that overnight patrol, helpin’ with Macon. Was so tired she was rambling about how much she appreciates everything you do ‘round here, how talented you are, how nice you are to her. But then if you’re so nice, why doesn’t she have one of the cutting boards that was her idea.”

“It ain’t that simple. I can be nice to her and not have one of ‘em for her.” Joel couldn’t turn to look at his brother, knowing how easily he would read him. Read the anxiety and worry he felt over the entire situation. All the miscommunication. All the mixed signals he had been giving you without realizing it. He thought you had opted to not talk about the kiss because you were uncomfortable, because you were worried he hadn’t liked it or wanted it. Because he hadn’t exactly told you that he did, that he dreamt of kissing you, of holding you, of protecting and providing for you. Spending quiet evenings in with homemade meals, nights out at the bar, helping you with the harvest again next fall. All of it, he thought about all of it with you.

“Why don't you just make her one, I don’t get it."

"Drop it, Tommy, she's not getting one."

"I thought you liked her, I thought...I thought I saw you two kissing the other night. Sure as hell looked like she had been caught red-handed."

"We…we were. We have, a few times., but she thinks I’m with Marsha because that…insane woman has taken such a liking to me. Saw me walking her home from the bar the last night because she downed far too many shots and Millie was nowhere to be seen.”

“She knows you, trusts you not to do that to her if you’ve shown interest. Just give her a cutting board and I’m sure it’ll all blow over. That's all she wants Joel, to feel included. Like she's a part of something.” Tommy was wringing his hands in, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought over his next words. “A lot of people have them and she doesn't. It's basically an insult thrown in her face."

“Fuck, I didn't think of it like that."

The sip of coffee Joel took turned bitter in his mouth. He really hadn’t thought of it like that. He had just been trying to hone his skills with the new craft before gifting you the best one he could make. He set down the mug, stomach turning as the acid settled heavy. Rubbing his palms roughly over his face, rustling the thick hairs of his moustache.

"She's going to ask to be taken off patrol, Joel. She did ask before you showed up, stop it altogether and just focus on the mess hall. She feels like it would be easier to avoid the looks and gossip. We know about it, the council, but there’s not much we can do about it.” Tommy was obviously upset, his voice thick as he divulged something you had gone to him in a moment of weakness. He recalled the way you had been in tears, hurt beyond words by the acceptance that Joel and Ellie had been given as newcomers when you had been here for years and how upset you were at yourself for being jealous of it.

“But she kept at it as a favor for me, to help me keep you alive. To help me feel okay with not being by your side out beyond the walls when I couldn’t be. Because I worry, I worry so damn much about you brother and I just want you to be okay. She saw that, she saw that and took it onto her own shoulders because she cares about me.”

Joel sighed, his brothers words blossoming warmth in his chest.

“I am going to make her one, Tommy. From that piece of trunk I had you help me get from her yard. But it’s drying, the slabs I got from it. Already lost one and the other two need to dry.” He huffed out, chest tight as he thought of how long it would take. “She said the wood she brought me for those spoons took months to dry.”

“They’re beautiful, the whole set. I’m sure she’ll love them.” Tommy nodded to the box that contained them on in the kitchen. Of course he had looked them over, finding them when he had woken up and curious as to how they ended up in his own if your name was scribbled on the top of the box.

“But she came to me and asked for them, Tommy. It’s not gonna be the same if what you’re sayin’ is true. It’ll feel like a consolation when it’s not. It’s just the beginning of what I’m willin’ to give to her.”

“Then you should tell her that. She deserves to hear it.”

You ignored the knocking at your door, sleep keeping you weighted to the couch in your living room.

But the crack of wood and the clash of metal following a loud gust of wind had you surging up to your feet.

“Shit-“ A grunted curse was the only greeting you got before the door swung open to reveal the large shadow of Joel just outside of it.

“Joel? Why the hell would you break down my door?”

“It was an accident, I was just knocking and the wind got me-“

“Forced your way into my home? I thought I told you to leave me alone.” You hugged yourself, arms tight as you tried to shield away from the chill creeping into the living room.

“I-I-I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry. Please, I wouldn’t-“ He stumbled over his words, turning his back to you in order to try and set the door back into the frame. The wood was splintered around the lock, preventing it from shutting completely. He leaned down to get a closer look at the damage. “Fuck, sweetheart, I’m gonna have to probably make you a whole new door.”

“Just go, Joel. Please.” You clenched your eyes shut and walked away from the honeyed drawl, ignoring the pull it had on you to move closer. The kettle in the kitchen was just beginning to whistle and you removed it from the stove. But instead of gathering up a mug and the loose leaf tea from a cabinet, you flattened your palms on the table and hung your head.

You flinched when a wrapped box slid between your arms, pushed by a tan, weathered hand.

“’s for you.”  His voice was so tender, his eyes wide and beseeching when you glanced up.

“No, thank you.” You pushed it back toward him, standing on the other side of the table.

“Olive, please. You said your name always gets thrown out of the exchange. I wanted to and it’s what you asked me for.”

He lifted the top of the box, setting the lid down beside it, the ribbon atop it looking far too cheerful for you. Set inside, amid a soft looking swath of cloth, was a set of wooden utensils tied together with a thick string. He held them out to you, a slight tremble in his hands. They were beautiful, the wood crafted expertly and you shook your head to rid yourself of the image of Joel sat in his desk chair face focused as he took the time to carve them from the block of wood you had taken to him.

“I pushed a lot of stuff back to make sure they were just right. Was so careful with the wood you brought to me, it was dense but I managed to sand it down without altering the look of it too much. I didn’t stain it, to keep the natural color, the grain is really beautiful-“

When you didn’t say anything, eyes focused on his chest, he trailed off. He set the gift back down on the table and took a step back, his mouth snapping shut. His gaze heavy on you as you tried to focus and keep your temper under control. But you were at the end of your patience. This time of the year already hard on you. Paired with the hot and cold from Joel, the judgment from the town, the lack of inclusion on anything going on and you were just tired. Deep down in your bones, exhausted.

“Joel…” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“You’re a good man. But I really don’t want to do this with you right now. I need some space because whatever I do, I can’t get you out of my head and it’s ruining me.” Your voice had started off at a normal volume, quickly growing as the words rushed from you. Anger flaring overwhelmingly, leaving you panting, chest heaving and hands clenched at your sides. The set of tied spoons resting on the table between you both, like a line not to be crossed. Like a mockery of the things he was offering you a little too late. Surging, you reached for them and hurled them in a display of anger you had thought you had managed to control. “Take your things and go, Joel Miller!”

They clattered to the floor across the kitchen, skidding along the tile to slam into the baseboards. The wood splintering and covering the floor behind him. But he hadn’t ducked, hadn’t brought his hands up to shield himself. Knowing, knowing that you wouldn’t have aimed them at him even as anger and hurt lit you from the inside out. He saw the remorse flash across your face the second they had left your hand.

Knowing that it was all an act of self-preservation. A way to save face, to save the fact that you had been hurt by his actions, his indiscretions. The memory of turning down the street, his hand wrapped innocently around Marsha, guiding her toward their shared street in her drunken state. And when he had declined the offer for a nightcap, she had pushed into his personal space to crush her lips to his.  Of running smack into you when he had tried to put distance between them, his back colliding with your front and crushing the wrapped gift in your hand. The sound of it thudding to the ground and your surprised shout warbling off into a deep breath of realization.

But the woman before him now was the same one who had taken the time to wrap the gift labeled with his name on it. Had taken the time to hand write recipes on a long-forgotten pack of index cards. Step by step instructions for things easy to combine and make nutritious means from. Had taken the time to include little, silly names for the meals that had pulled a tearful chuckle from him as he read them through in his inebriated state.

“I just want to be left alone. I just want, for one measly second that someone doesn’t watch me and wait for me to screw up, to give them a reason to feel disappointed. I-I can take it from the others, but Joel…I can’t handle it if it’s from y-you. Please just go.”

He didn’t go. He moved closer, into your personal space and he was thankful for the way you didn’t shy away from him even as tears raced down your cheeks. For the way you allowed him to cup your face in his hands and press his lips to yours, thumbs brushing away the tears. For the way your own moved against his as he tilted his head and really kissed you. There was no heat behind it like that last time, just adoration and reverence.

Pulling back, he whispered, “I’m not goin’ anywhere, sweetheart.”

He kisses the fear from you, pleading with you to understand that he's not going to turn his back on you.

He only hopes you can feel it. But your hands don’t rise to caress or cup his face, they don’t rise to rest on his chest, they don’t rise to run through his snow dampened hair. Your lips are barely moving against his and his heart sinks. It chips and shatters on the floor to settle with the pieces of broken olive wood.

But it wasn’t enough. It hurt that his attention wasn’t enough when you thought it would be. It was about his actions. How they had made you feel the last couple of months, since summer. The back and forth, the constant miscommunication, the humiliation of wanting a man who had so much more in his life, who was pulled in so many directions. The respect he had from the people within the settlement for the things he could do, for the things he provided to them. The issue of your reception, the possibility of it affecting his own if he were to be seen with you or you seeking out more of him. All of it was too much, the constant internal turmoil, it was heavy.

It was so heavy and you had to put it down.

“Joel,” Gently pushing him back, but not away, his body willingly moving with the motion. “Why didn’t you make me one, a cutting board?”

He froze.

When he sputtered on a few words before falling silent, you detangled from him. Crossing your arms as shield to your heart.

“This is why I keep to myself. It doesn't hurt when there's no one else involved.” Your voice was a low rasp, giving away the fresh wave of tears threatening to spill, the hot throb of them in your throat. “And even if you did try to be my friend, it's okay that you really don't want to be. You share things with people, you're a giver Joel, but I've had to ask for everything you've given to me.”

He could only watch as you closed yourself off, and you hoped he noticed the dark circles under your eyes. That he noticed just how much his attention had ruined you, because it had. You had been okay with how things were before he came along, content to keep to yourself, to spend patrols with Tommy and Maria. You hadn’t longed for companionship before he showed up and rode alongside you and asked simple questions about the town that developed into questions about yourself. Offering answers of his own in return. You hadn’t wanted before him.

“And that's not who i am, someone who asks for things she deserves. So…you standing there with no answer is you telling me that I don't mean anything to you. You don’t get to make me feel like I mean something and then not follow it with actions. I didn't take you for a cruel man. You say you’ve done things to stay alive, to fight for yourself and those in your care. And I wanted to believe that you changed, that you turned over a new leaf here. But you hurt me, Joel. You hurt me in a way that really…was so unfair.”

Once you let the words flow from within you it was hard to stop, they were a flood being released. Voice not stuttering or scrambling over them like you know you tended to do. Mostly from lack of interaction, of not using your voice most days as you spent it alone in the kitchen, home, or garden. The stuttering an anxious thing born of fear of interacting and it turning sour like it quickly tended to do. Words and sentiments always more ammo for those to use against you. And you could see it, in the man across from you, that he had things to say in response to the many words you were giving him. But you couldn’t, you were tired.

“I deserved better than the treatment I received by the people of this community, of this safe haven for those willing to contribute and who wanted something better for themselves. But the truth is…I’m better off alone.”

His voice cracked on the shape of your name on his lips.

But you shook your head, tears flowing freely and breathing labored.

“Just go, please.”

“Well hey there.” A figure approached you, where you were seated on the same stool at the long bar in the Tipsy Bison for the second night in a row. It was the man of the brother and sister duo you had convinced Joel to trust and bring back to the settlement. They had settled in well, Millie taking to the pregnant woman with a swiftness that had surprised you. But they were both close in age, something rare these days, to find friends you could relate to easily.

“Oh, h-hello.” You looked up from the book you had been reading, hearty sandwich on a plate beside your drink. Only a few bites taken out of it. The book holding your attention far more than the simpering hunger in your stomach. You hadn’t eaten all day, stewing in forlorn silence on the couch until your stomach rumbled. Only to find you didn’t have anything that would make a meal in your home, prompting you to brave the calmer but still whipping winds and intermittent snow fall.

“I just saw you from across the room, Tommy Miller said we could grab a bite here since the mess hall was closed for the day with the bad weather from this morning.” Nolan, you recalled his name. Nolan was nice, polite. You didn’t fault him for pointing a gun at you or Callie for managing to injure you. It was a sick, twisted world out in the wasteland of what was, especially if there was an unborn baby to worry about. They had just been doing what they needed to survive another day. “Guess no one wanted to risk working and getting stuck. I’m grabbing something to go I just wanted to thank you again, for helping us.”

“It’s no big deal. Everyone deserves a chance at something more.” You tried to smile, but you felt drained. From the early morning of cooking and delivering meals to front doors for people. Maria had enlisted the help of a handful of people, but it had been time-consuming to prep and make everything yourself. To bundle it all up into packs that would be appropriate servings.

“Would you mind if I joined you?” He moved to sit beside you, startling you at his forwardness. There was a wry glint to his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he was fighting off a smile. “While I waited, that is.”

“Oh, t-that’s probably not a good idea. I’m not the most popular here, you’d have better luck integrating with-“

“Whore.” A female voice whispered as someone walked by behind you.

“Excuse me?” You whipped around, shocked at such a blatant display of behavior. You were used to whispers, to errant rumors springing up once you had left a store or a gathering, asked an impertinent question during patrol and general meetings. But this? A direct confrontation was a new level and you were far too tired to handle it. Especially with the day being what it was.

“You heard me, praying on the newcomers to try and sway them on your side.” It was Millie. She was sans coat, having removed it to enjoy her evening in the toasty bar with her gaggle of friends you could see gathered in a booth on the other side of the room. She must’ve come up to the bar for a refill when she decided to imitate her mother and impinge on your rare interactions with people. “I’d be careful if I was you, she tends to get people killed. Don’t want to find yourself the latest victim.”

“The council said that they’re selective of who they let in. Surely they-“ Nolan was trying to be polite, to not overstep his place being so new in such a large community. But you could see the anger in the furrowing of his brow, the frown pulling his lips down, the way his hands were twitching. It was sweet of him to feel the need to try and protect you but this is exactly what you had been worried about. That the two most instigating occupants would try and ostracize him and his sister for associating with you.

“They do, but in her case they should’ve left her out in the woods and let the Infected get her. Be better for everyone if they had.”

You had moved without even thinking. The force of your hand hitting the woman’s cheek loud across the room. The hush of conversation lulling, a tense silence following.

Scrambling to correct the huge mistake you just made, to save face, your words were a breath of stuttered apologies. Your stomach had dropped, no longer a part of your body as your mind moved through the outcomes and ramifications of your thoughtless actions. You had never been one to needlessly lay hands on someone. But…the time you had spent fighting to survive had changed you, altered you beyond what you had been. Your instincts honed and deadly, and you silently thanked whatever force of the universe that was still alive that you had left your knife at home. Otherwise, it would be hilt deep in her chest right now.

It was ugly and it was cruel, but someone could only take so much.

“Millie, oh-oh my god, I’m so sorry. I-“

You didn’t even get to finish your rushed words before she returned the slap, her hand connecting hard with your own cheek.

The sting of it hot, skin throbbing.

And it was like a damn broke. Filling the tunnel and making you desperate for a chance to crawl out.

But instead of breaking out of it into the town, you were transported outside the walls. Relying on your instincts, relying on fighting with everything you had to survive.

You were on her in a flash, not even a second had passed. Both of your knees knocking into the ground around her body. Your hands making contact with any part of her you could. Sounds of her struggling underneath you fly into the air with every punch, every pull of her hair, every push of your body against her. You didn’t care about her nails digging and tearing into your arms, her knees kicking up and colliding hard with your back, her elbows jutting into your ribs. The searing pain of your stitches popping loose.

You didn’t care. You didn’t care. You didn’t care.

Strong arms wrapped around you and pulled, while another held your legs down. Restraining you as you realized you were shouting out that same set of three words over and over again.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, calm down.” Soft words, not harsh. And you shouted at them, forced the words from your aching throat, demanding that they let you go. That they leave you alone. Fighting against the people trying to hold you down. You felt your elbow connect with something hard, your knee with something soft and suddenly you were able to stagger to your feet.

Eyes not seeing details, just blurred faces and people standing all around you. Watching. Always just watching. Whispering things behind your back, not interacting with you, ignoring you. And you were done, you didn’t care.  And you shouted it for everyone to hear as you took in the sight of Millie crumpled on the ground. Having turned on her side to try and make herself smaller. Bruises were already blooming along her pretty face, her loose hair a tangled mess. Her nails were chipped and broken from digging them into your skin, the faint sting of them long lines down your arms. Her clothes were rumpled, the exposed skin of her stomach showing signs of bruising as well.

You just stared, unable to draw your gaze away from the whimpering woman. She wasn’t even trying to get up, she wasn’t even trying to fight back anymore. She was just laying there, bellowing out her hurt and looking so pathetic. And it made you feel bad, because she was nothing, would be nothing without the settlement of Jackson. She and her family had been here since the outbreak, safe in their secluded location, safe in the quick thinking of others, safe because of sheer, dumb luck that allowed her to continue being who she had always been.

But even despite the glitter of remorse beginning to shine through, you needed her to understand that you were done. That she had crossed a line she shouldn’t have. That for all the things she said and all the hurt she caused, you were the reason she was allowed to strut around town and act that way. You were the reason she was safe behind these walls and had an abundance of food. You were the god damn reason.

“Don’t you ever lay another hand on me, you understand? I will put up with your words, with your gossip, with you stealing every chance for me to have something good. But you will regret ever thinking of putting your hands on me, you hear me? I will fucking end you and make all your rumors true if you do it again.”

Her shuddering breath was the only response you got from her, but it was enough. You turned your back on her, grabbing your coat from the back of the stool you had been occupying, and walked out into the still falling snow.

“JOEL!” The bellow of his name, loud and alarming, startling him from where he had fallen asleep on the couch. He had collapsed there after returning from your place. He had frozen, all the sentiments he had planned to share with you died on his tongue the second you shared with him how much he had hurt you. It seemed it’s all you had experienced since coming here long before he and Ellie did. He hadn’t wanted to argue with you or belittle the things you had said, so he hadn’t. No words or feelings he had would have righted the wrongs done to you.

He felt unworthy of you, having played a part in it. He felt like he failed you, tricked you into an easy camaraderie when he knew after that first smile it would never be enough for him. He should’ve been honest from the beginning, told you he wanted to be someone to you. But instead, he had botched it, he had fucked up.

“Holy shit, dude, you need to come quick!” Ellie hollered as she barged through the front door, the handle slamming into the wall of the entry way and he had the errant through to put a piece of wood there to prevent it from happening again before it tore through the drywall.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?” He was hurtling up, hands reaching for the panting teenager as she came into the living room. Her eyes bright and shining, her hands trembling. She allowed him to pull her into his chest, his heart thudding, anxiety humming through him harsh and hot.

“It’s not me, it’s Olive.”

His heart stopped, his heart stopped because it was no longer in his chest. It was on the floor, bleeding and immobile between their feet.

“Is she…?” He didn’t even know how to finish his sentence. Gone? Hurt? Injured? Stood in front of Marsha or Millie just taking their words directly? The worst thought of all being shaken from his head because he couldn’t bear to give it life.

“She freakin’ lost it. She went ballistic on Millie at the bar. It took two people to pull her off and then she hurt them too. She was shouting all this stuff about how shit people treat her and then she took off.”

“Took off, Ellie, where?” He pushed her back to duck his head and caught her eyes. Worry spiking and making his mind run through all the possibilities. He needed to know where you went, even if you had sent him from your home with a hollow and broken heart.

“I-I don’t know, she just ran out the door and was gone by the time I tried to follow her.” Ellie reached up and held onto his wrists, her fingers wrapping around them and he realized for the thousandth time how small she was. How much things affected her, how her own trauma showed in ways they could both anticipate and in ways they could not. Seeing violence first hand since settling here seemed to have triggered her and he didn’t like it for either of you.

“It’s okay, baby girl. I got you, you’re okay.” He hushed, his words pressed into her forehead. She was trembling and he hated that he couldn’t do anything to help her. She clung to him, the winter already a harder time for her than the rest of the year. Awful memories associated with it that no matter how hard she tried to tamp them down, rose to the surface. He held her, offering his built up warmth to sooth her and when the sniffles stopped he lowered them both to the couch.

“Y-you should go find her, Millie tore her stitches open. They took that ungrateful dumbass to the infirmary. But Olive took off.”  

“Okay, but we’re taking you to Tommy’s okay?”

Minutes later they were across the street and knocking on the front door.

“Tommy, listen, I know it’s late. Believe me I know but Ellie needs to take your guest room and I need to know where Olive would go if she’s upset?” Joel didn’t waste any time, speaking as soon as the door began to open. Tommy just looked at him for a second, eyes taking in the thinly veiled panic on his normally calm and collected brother.

“Joel, what in the hell, what’s going on, what are you talking about?” His eyes snapped into focus, lack of sleep vanishing as he realized something happened.

“Olive, she snapped. Something about Millie starting something with some insults that turned into the two of ‘em going off on each other at the bar. Word is she took off, but she’s not at home and she didn’t come to me. Tommy, where would she go?” Joel ambled into the house, his hands soft on his brother’s shoulders as he tried to get the man to focus.

“She, uh, she’s never done anything like this before. She, um, she could have…” Joel could see that his brother was trying to focus on the situation at hand brought to him in the middle of the night, trying to think on so little sleep and energy.

“Tommy!”

“Maybe the cemetery?”

“The council needs to hold thar girl responsible. She should have to go on Olive’s patrols until she’s healed. I mean it, Tommy. I want it done.” Joel gently guided Ellie to the couch, urging her to sit down so he could wrap the throw blanket on the back of it over her. He moved into the kitchen and started a kettle for a cup of tea. Something soothing for her to find sleep easier.

“Joel, I know you’re upset. But Millie’s never been beyond the gates. Her entire family has been here since the walls went up.”

“And that’s why she feels entitled to act the way she does. Slinging insults and making fun of Olive, holding things against the woman like it’s her fault that despite the walls there are still very real threats out there. Not every one of them is avoidable. She needs to learn somethin’ and she needs to do it quick.”

“I can talk to Maria about it, but yeah, you have my word she’ll be put on patrol. Are they okay though?”

“I can’t say much for Millie, but Ellie said Olive pulled her stitches ‘n I gotta go out and find her.” The kettle began to whistle, and Tommy took over on making tea for himself and his niece.

“Then go find her, make sure she’s alright.”

Joel tried to tamp down his anger as he knocked on the front door. It was a momentary stop on his way to where Tommy suggested. The weather had calmed down, but not enough to make it an easy trek. The winds were still howling, though they weren’t nearly as devastating as earlier, snow floating down in soft waves.

“Joel? Oh, it’s so late, is everything okay?”

“I told you I wasn’t playin’ games with you.” He didn’t try and tamp down the frustration in his voice, it needed an outlet and the woman in front of him was a worthy for it. He cut off her startled question.

“Your daughter instigated a fight with Olive tonight. Called her names for the whole town to hear. Raised her hand and physically accosted her. That your best attempt at helping to ease the tension you’ve caused? That how you think people should be treated after spending hours to ensure everyone in town got breakfast in the midst of a blizzard?”

“Joel, Olive hit first. I’m sure of it.” She moved away from the door, from the bulk of him to shove her hands into a thick jacket and her feet into a pair of boots. Joel slammed his hand on the door frame, anger flaring at the woman’s nonchalance toward you.

“It doesn’t matter! Do you have any idea the torment you’ve caused her over the years? Millie is lucky Olive walked off. Talking to her and approaching her like that unprovoked. Olive was just defending herself. She was minding her own damn business like she always does!”

“Joel, do not raise your-“

“I’ll raise my voice when I damn well want to! You need to hear me and listen: both of your little stunts resulted in Millie going on the roster. She’s Olive’s replacement on my morning patrols now. To ensure she learns just how much of a responsibility it is to protect the settlement and deter her from further disrespect to those that go outside the gates every single day to protect this town.”

“No, no she can’t go outside the walls. She-“ The woman’s hands grappled his arm, desperation making her forget everything else in that moment.

“She will learn that there is more to living in a broken world than hurtful gossip and petty vendettas. Take it up with the council, but they’ve made their decision. Olive is missing. Your daughter is at the infirmary.”

He stalked off, not willing to wait around to hear what other nonsense the woman had to say. He had to find you, You hadn’t gone to his brother’s, which he would’ve thought to be the obvious answer. You hadn’t gone to his, of course maybe you would’ve before this morning. His body aching from sitting on your small stoop waiting for your return only to go there for a moment to find it dark and empty. The winds whipped around him, snow blinding and chilling when flakes got stuck on his eyelashes and in his scruff.  

He needed to tell you. He needed to tell you that he’d pick you over everyone in the whole damn settlement if you’d have him. But first he needed to make sure you were okay in order to do that.

Everything was so fuzzy, the edges of your vision fading. The bright snow all around the streets, falling from the sky, it hurt to look at. It hurt to keep your eyes open, but you did as best you could as you clutched to your bleeding middle and stumbled down empty streets. Blood was warm between your fingers, against your palm. The stitches put in place a few days ago now pulled from your skin and tearing even more damage across the wound there.

It wasn’t cold anymore, not by the time you had made it through the creaking iron gate and settled in front of a headstone. Everything was numb and you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up as you realized.

The look of shock on Millie’s face shouldn’t be funny, it was sad. That no one had ever given her a taste of her own medicine. You didn’t hold anything against her, it wasn’t in your nature. But you wouldn’t say you liked her, that part of you had died along with Aiden. You had tried to continue to be her friend after everything, that fateful patrol. But she had pushed you away, had been quiet and reserved in her grief.

Until she hadn’t. She had shifted to harsh glares and sharp words. Basically heading the town to lay the blame on you. Her mother dutifully at her side. But you didn’t fault them. You knew loss was hard long before they had. You knew that it twisted people up inside and made it hard to feel okay. But you had never taken it out on anyone, instead closing in on yourself. But that had backfired, turned into a spectacle at the bar amid most of the town’s older occupants. Entertainment for them. More ammo for gossip and hurtful words.

In trying to ignore them, you had made it worse. Of course you had.

You lay slumped against the headstone, consciousness wavering as the wind pressed you into it. The snow began to settle over your legs and in your loose hair. Hat and scarf left behind in your rush to get out of that damn bar. You don’t know how long you laid there, pressing your face into the headstone, tears falling from your eyes and stinging as they froze on your cheeks, on your lashes, around your puffy eyes. Coughing, you felt the warmth of a thick liquid and taste of metal as blood splattered over the name etched into the stone.

You were tired, exhausted. Your body no longer hurt and it was a relief to be without the low thrum of anxiety, the smoldering heartbreak in the shape of broad man weighing down your chest, the ache in your hands from hours of chopping and stirring and mixing, the swelling in your legs from standing for hours everyday to prepare meals for people who couldn’t care less about you. It was all gone and it was a relief.

You tried to peel your eyes open, but they were so heavy. Unseeing when you managed to, it was so dark around you. There was no way it should be that dark in the late hour with the snow blanketing the town and the sky swathed in snow clouds. But it was and it didn’t bother you. You didn’t want to see anything anyway. Not when you closed your eyes against the darkness, you saw a soft smile tugging at plush lips that had felt good against your own below a pair of sparkling brown eyes. You saw Joel Miller and that was good enough.

You weren’t aware of the darkness being a shadow falling over you, a body dropping to its knees as it spotted you on the ground. You weren’t aware of the shout of your name, your actual name, nothing breaking the unconsciousness you had succumbed to. Joel was frantic, his hands hovering over you as he worried touching you would cause more damage. The blood shining on dark on your lips, the sallow complexion of your skin, the hand that had been pressing to your stained and wet middle limp in your lap. All of it was too much and his heart felt like it was humming in his chest as it beat in time with memories of loss and pain flashing before his eyes.

He couldn’t, he couldn’t lose you too. Not now, not like this.

Ignoring his worry, pushing it down, he scooped you up into his arms. The fact that you didn’t startle awake or shout out in pain at the movement didn’t sit well with him, his stomach dropped and his head pounded as he realized how cold you were to the touch, how limp you were. He gritted his teeth against the biting wind, the snow flying all around and began to move through the headstones.

“I made you one.” He croaked. “I made them all for you. All of them, every single one” His hands were warm, cradling you close, trying to tamp down the bleeding from your middle as he walked. “C’mon, sweetheart. You gotta let me save you so you’ll have one. I’ll give you anything, I’ll give you everything. Olive, please.”

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[nicksbestie]

can you do one where chris cares for reader while she’s sick? thank you!

Under The Weather - C. Sturniolo

Summary : You get sick often, but Chris always runs the risk of catching it to be close to you. <3

Warnings : mentions of being sick, fever, sore throat

Word Count : 691

Pairing : Chris Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

A/N : N/A!

You hated being sick.

You couldn’t get anything done, you were exhausted, and you were bored most of the time because of the fact that you couldn’t get up for long periods of time to do anything even somewhat entertaining. A lot of your time being sick was spent watching dumb television shows, a shit ton of YouTube, and a lot of sleeping. So when you woke up one morning with a fever, you wanted to just curl up and sleep for the rest of the week. You’d had enough fevers in your life to know when you had one, and by the way you curled into Chris’ side, desperate for the extra warmth, it confirmed it in your mind. 

It wasn’t until Chris woke up that you even checked your temperature, and it was because he insisted on it. He wasn’t worried about catching anything from you, but he wanted to make sure that you didn’t need any urgent medical care. If you had to go that would be a whole new fight, because you hated going to the doctors, but luckily, your fever wasn’t high enough for that. He let you stay curled up in bed as he went downstairs to get you some medicine and something to drink, knowing that you would not be excited to be up and moving around anytime soon. 

When he got back, he closed the door and made sure that the blinds were closed as well, soft, dim, lighting filling the room, so it didn’t cause you a headache on top of the uncomfortableness you were already going through. If anybody asked you, you would say that he is easily the best boyfriend in the entire world. Sure, maybe it was not far above the line of the bare minimum, but you still appreciated it so much more than he would ever understand. He laid down next to you, gently taking your phone from your hand and replacing it with the medicine and juice, taking stupid selfies on your camera while you were distracted. The silly behavior made you laugh, distracting you from your fever for a split second. 

You had a sore throat as well, so the medicine and cold juice going down helped ease that pain for a couple seconds, and you could feel it coating your throat, so you hoped that it would take a lot of the pain away for a couple of hours once it, combined with the painkiller, finally kicked in. You didn’t stay up for very long, cuddling back up into Chris’ arms, and watching what he was watching on his phone with him until you finally dozed off again, a nap desperately being needed so that you didn’t feel as badly. 

You slept for another couple of hours, waking up still in your boyfriend’s arms, and you didn’t move for a while. He knew you were awake but he didn’t want to disturb you, so he didn’t move either, except to press a kiss to the top of your head and brush some of the curls off of your forehead. Your skin was still warm underneath his touch, so he took your temperature again, moving as little as possible so that you stayed comfortable and as happy as possible in your current state. It had gone down a degree, now a low grade fever, and he could tell that you both were really hoping it was just a twenty-four hour bug and it would go away soon. 

Chris got up when you both realized you were hungry, getting some food for the both of you to eat in bed, and he finished off your food when you decided you had eaten enough and wanted to lay back down. You ended up watching some terrible show and scrolling through social media for a little while, before you fell asleep for the second nap of the day. One of the last thoughts in your head as you fell asleep was about how even if it was truly just a twenty four hour bug, Chris would be there to help you feel better even after it was over.

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[j2lx]

Holding Hands With Them (headcanons)

Warnings: gojo is a tease (to no one's surprise smh), mentions of nightmares in Maki's, messy kissing in Toji's =P, pet names (darling, pretty baby), none really this one's just wholesome fluff

A/n: I went very overboard writing this one so it's pretty long… yeah. Anyways, here are some fluffy headcanons to hopefully make you feel happier! <3 Enjoy reading!

Characters: Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kugisaki Nobara, Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Ryomen Sukuna (Sukuna has his own body in this but isn't in his OG form and he's a jujutsu sorcerer), Zenin Maki, Okkotsu Yuuta, Inumaki Toge, Suguru Geto (basically high school Geto, before he became all you know), Toji Fushiguro, Naoya Zenin (he isn't misogynistic (for Fem!readers) cuz he loves you a lot!) x Gender Neutral!reader

Itadori Yuuji

He's so pure and cute omg ahhh he loves holding your hand anywhere, anytime. He doesn't feel that he needs a reason to do it at all, since you're precious to him and naturally, he'll want to hold onto something he wants to protect.

He's the kind of boyfriend who would hold your hand in public, private, even on missions. It gives him comfort that you're there, right next to him, and it's easier for him to make sure you're safe (especially on missions when he can pull you to the side in case of danger)

One of his favourite things to do when the two of you are holding hands is to swing the hand that's holding yours up and down. Yes it's a little childish and the last time you did it was probably it in kindergarten or something, but trust me with Yuuji it's going to be a norm 🥺

Because of how much he holds your hand, he can tell the smallest differences on your hand. You got a shallow cut on your finger? He can feel it when he starts to intertwine his hand with yours. Your hands are a little dry from the weather? He'll rub the area a little before finding cream to help relieve the pain really soon. Holding hands with you helps him look out for you, and it might not seem like much but he really does care a lot about your physical wellbeing, even if he's only checking your hands!

He likes fidgeting a lot with your fingers and it often leads to unintentional finger fights. It's random but also really cute at the same time because he gets really competitive about it and tries to win but if he doesn't, he gives you your prize, which is a kiss on your "winning" finger from him.

His hands are always so nice and warm, so he offers to be your personal hand warmer in the winter when the two of you are in either one of your dorm rooms. He'll hold both of your hands between his and it seriously does help warm your hands up instantly. He doesn't mind how cold his hands might feel after that, he loves being able to hold your hands no matter the situation <3

Overall, holding hands with Yuuji is a sweet and affectionate thing that you both indulge in everyday. It gives both of you so much comfort and never fails to put a smile on both your faces!

Fushiguro Megumi

He doesn't show affection in public much because well it's not really his thing. But holding hands? Yeah that's an exception. He'll never let go of your hand, even more so in public places where it could be crowded and busy.

He doesn't mind being teased by some people (cough cough Gojo) about holding your hand because it's just another way for him to show his affection and love for you. He knows he's not that good with words sometimes so he uses these opportunities to show how much you mean to him!

He squeezes your hand a lot and it's almost like there are different "codes" for when he squeezes your hand. If he squeezes your hand gently, it's probably him asking if you're alright. If he squeezes it a little harder than usual, it's probably because he feels uncomfortable in the situation you both are in. It's a silent yet efficient way of communicating and it's like a secret code between the both of you

He likes running his thumb up and down your hand but he does it in the most ticklish way possible? Like he does it so gently that it becomes ticklish and you start giggling sometimes, which confuses him because he was just trying to be gentle with you 🥺

His hands are cold. Just really cold most of the time. And he knows it and will use it to his advantage should he deem it necessary (when you're being mischievous =P). Otherwise, he always makes sure to warm his hands up before holding your hand so you won't get cold! And the best part about that is that after that, the warmth from your hands would warm his hands up, so he doesn't have to worry about his "cold hands" problem anymore.

He has really nice hands. Like they're a nice size, smooth and just overall really pretty and beautiful (just like him =)). And you love holding his hands up to your eye level and admiring them, which always causes him to show a small smile! Of course he'll return the favour and bring your hand up to his lips and press a kiss on it as a way of telling you how much he loves your hands too <3

Overall, he's really sweet and gentle when holding your hand! He's not that good with expressing his feelings and he knows it, so holding hands often is one way he feels he can express just how much he loves you!

Kugisaki Nobara

Holding hands comes easy to the two of you. It's been a part of your relationship since the start and the two of you absolutely adore doing it! It gives the both of you comfort that you're both there for each other.

She loves holding your hand anywhere, anytime. It's one of those things she considers "basic" in a relationship, and it just comes naturally for her to be holding your hand whenever she can. Whether it be going out with her, in the car before missions, and at night when the two of you are watching movies together, the two of you will always be holding hands.

When shopping with her, your hand will definitely be intertwined with hers. And she really likes it since it's really easy for her to just tug on your hand a little or straight up pull you to what she's looking at when shopping! She has the tendency to squeeze your hand when she gets excited while the two of you shop too. It's easy to tell what excites her the most (which is basically what she wants the most) by how hard she squeezes your hand!

If you are keen, she would love to have manicures with you to match the colours on both of your nails! She makes sure to choose colours according to both of your tastes, and makes sure that they don't clash too much. She wants to make sure that when the two of you hold hands, the colour of your nails complement each other nicely!

Most of the time (when not shopping), she holds your hand really gently! The two of you hold hands in a way that it's loose and comfortable for the both of you, but not too loose that your hands will separate! And your palms don't always have to be touching each other, just intertwining fingers with you is enough to make her happy <3

Her hands are really well taken care of, and she puts in quite a bit of effort to make sure that her hands are smooth and nice. Please kiss her hands after holding them and tell her how much you love her beautiful hands, she literally gets so flustered and shy 🥺

Overall, she really loves holding hands with you and it's a norm in your relationship for sure! It gives her a sense of comfort and safety, your interlocking fingers reassuring her that you are just next to her.

Satoru Gojo

He absolutely loves holding your hand! Like no matter what he does he feels the need to have your hand in his, as a form of affection and reassurance to him that you're still by his side.

Will hold your hand no matter what. Showering together? He'll hold your hand when the two of you are chilling in the bathtub. On a mission together? He holds your hand to keep you close to him and to pull you out of danger if needed. Folding laundry with him? You'll have to settle it with one of your hands and one of his hands only.

He'll turn on his infinity just as you reach out to hold his hand, and tell you to "profess your undying love" for him before he'll let your hand reach his. If you choose to do as he says, he'll definitely smile at you and then press a kiss on your hand before placing it in his own. If you choose to ignore, he'll pout and whine, but will still reach out to hold your hand because he wants to hold your hand too much. So either way, he'll end up holding your hand <3 (if he's been annoying don't be afraid to do the latter, he knows how annoying he can be so he'll accept his fate)

He always caresses the back of your hand with his fingers! It's like his way of telling you that he loves you, that he's thankful to have you by his side and that he's happy that he gets to hold your hand. And if you do the same to his hand, you'll see a large and loving smile on his face, one that you see whenever you show how much you love him 🥺

Will kiss each one of your knuckles when holding hands with you! He does it at the most random times, and for no reason most of the time. He just wants you to know that he loves you (and your hands) a lot and expresses it that way! He likes seeing your cheeks flush red from the sudden affectionate gesture.

He loves making his hands cold on purpose before holding your hand. If he ever holds your hand without teasing you about it (basically by not turning on his infinity), he's either touch starved after being away from you for a long time (which to him is more than 8 hours), or he has something up his sleeve. He'll take an ice cube and let it melt on his hands, dry his hands and then immediately go to hold your hands. He loves watching the way you jump up from the sudden coldness of his hands and he always laughs at your reaction.

Overall, he doesn't stop being a tease before holding your hand, but he makes sure to make sure you know how loved you are when your hands are actually in his and your fingers are intertwined.

Nanami Kento

This man is so… perfect. He holds your hand not just as a sign of affection and love, but to protect you and make sure that you're ok every now and then. He always treats you with so much care and when holding hands with him, you can be assured that he treats you like the most precious thing in existence.

He isn't much into PDA, but his immediate priority and need is to protect you and make sure that you're next to him. So he always makes sure to hold your hand in crowded places and during the missions the two of you go on together (before engaging in combat because he prefers giving you freedom to use your technique properly, without him potentially being in the way).

He's the kind of boyfriend who'll kiss your hand before and after holding it. He'll ask you for permission to hold your hand and when you give him consent to, he'll raise it to his lips and press a soft kiss on it as a way of saying "thank you". And before he lets go of your hand, he does the same thing and always mutters a quiet "thank you for letting me hold your hand, darling" <3

His favourite thing to do is to hold your hand when the two of you are at home, cuddling or just resting on the couch together! His hand will always be intertwined with yours, no matter what. If he's reading a book, he'll be using one hand to hold it and to flip the pages while the other is holding your hand. And if the two of you are watching a show together, he places both of your hands in his!

His hands are super smooth and beautiful. Like his fingernails are a nice length, and his fingers are just so long, slender and pretty. He has super nice hands, and you always hold one of his hands in both of yours and just admire it quietly when the two of you are cuddling on the couch together. He'll always notice and bring your hands to his lips as a way of telling you that he thinks your hands are equally beautiful 🥺

Whenever it gets cold, Kento will definitely be holding onto at least one of your hands. It's a way for him to tell if you're feeling too cold, and also a way for him to warm you up. He has really nice and warm hands, so he uses that to his advantage to help your hands feel less cold. If your hands get really cold though, he'll ask you to put on some gloves. Don't worry, he still holds onto your gloved hand afterwards!

Overall, holding hands with him is a super sweet aspect of your relationship! He takes it as a chance to express his affection while looking out for you and making sure that you're alright!

Ryomen Sukuna

He loves holding your hand and feels the need to do so every given moment. He likes that it gives him some control over you (in case anything happens to you), and at the same time is an affectionate and sweet gesture.

He holds your hand mostly in public, since he prefers other intimacies when the two of you are alone, like cuddling. He'll hold your hand especially tight in crowded places and when going around the mission site to find the curses you have to defeat. He still treats you like glass though, and he never holds your hand to the point that it hurts!

Yes, Sukuna gets possessive and jealous easily, especially if you're talking to people who you don't know for no apparent reason. Whenever he sees someone approach you, be it to get directions or to flirt with you, he grips onto your hand tightly and glares at them until they get intimidated and walk away. He'll loosen his grip on your hand afterwards and kiss your hand as an apology for being possessive and a little rough with you.

He finds it fun how the two of you manage to hold hands while doing all sorts of things. When making dinner for the both of you, you tend to sneak up behind your boyfriend and hold his hand. He doesn't mind though, because most of the time, you only hold his hand when he doesn't need to use both of his hands. He'll use one of his hands to stir and mix the food while the other is intertwined with one of your hands. He's super used since it's been like a tradition ever since the two of you started being in a relationship together <3

Likes to prank you by putting cling wrap on his hand before holding your hand. It happens a lot especially after he washes up and is waiting for the food to finish cooking! He'll just put a thin layer of cling wrap on his hand and since he knows that you never look down at his hands when he moves to hold your hand, he knows that his plan will work. It always makes him laugh when he sees your surprised and annoyed expression, but you don't stop him from pulling this prank almost every other day, since you want to see him laugh 🥺

He loves bringing your hands to his eye level and admiring your hands for at least a few minutes each time. He really loves you so much, and he can't help but want to admire every part of your body over and over again. He'll always press kisses all over each of your hands after he's done looking at them, and calls you his "pretty baby".

Overall, Sukuna truly makes sure that you feel loved when holding your hand. Yes, he might get possessive and yes, he might prank you from time to time, but he really just wants you to be safe and happy!

Zenin Maki

She absolutely adores holding hands with you! She might not be super comfortable with all forms of affection since she's still getting used to it, but holding hands is something she absolutely loves!

She doesn't initiate hand holding most of the time though, despite the fact that she enjoys it a lot. It just doesn't come as naturally to her, so most of the time she doesn't process that she can just reach for your hand and hold it. You'll have to initiate it most of the time; she'll always be happy to hold onto your hand as long as you offer it to her.

She mostly initiates hand holding when she senses that you're feeling upset or sad. She knows what it's like to have no one to turn to and not having any hand to hold on to when feeling all those negative emotions, and she doesn't want you to go through that. The moment she sees a frown on your face, or tears well up in your eyes, your hand will be in hers. She'll stroke your hand with her thumb to try to calm you down too.

She doesn't hold your hand before going to sleep, but your hands are always near each other's. And somehow, her hand always gravitates towards yours in the middle of the night and the two of you wake up to find your hands intertwined. It happens mostly when Maki gets nightmares. She senses the warmth of your hand and her hand will just move to hold yours as a source of comfort and reassurance that you're still next to her 🥺

Hand holding before bed is a must though! The two of you make sure to cuddle and relax in bed before going to sleep, and your hands are always intertwined no matter what you both are doing. Be it watching a movie together, or scrolling through your phones, you both will be holding hands!

She especially enjoys holding hands with you before, during and after training! Your hands are intertwined until the two of you reach the training venue, and then you both press a kiss on each other's hand as a form of encouragement! In between training, when the two of you get a break, her hand will be in yours as you both hydrate. And after training, no matter how sweaty both of your hands are, you and Maki will walk back to the dorms hand in hand, ready to relax and chill together <3

Overall, holding hands with Maki is something that happens everyday, and you both like it a lot, even if she won't admit it out loud. The two of you are often seen holding hands, and you both bask in each of those moments, enjoying the feeling of your hands being pressed against each other and your both of your fingers interlocking.

Okkotsu Yuuta

Yuuta is a super sweet boyfriend! He'll take any opportunity to be affectionate with you and he definitely loves physical touch! He's going to be holding onto your hand as much as possible, as long as you're comfortable with it.

Pinky holding that turns into hand holding! He always starts by linking and interlocking both of your pinkies together. Slowly but surely, he'll start to slip his hand into yours and intertwine them, his thumb stroking your hand gently. It's more of a habit from the start of your relationship when he didn't know if you wanted to hold hands or not, but he's continued it and he still does it.

He might be a special grade sorcerer with loads of experience, but he still gets nervous before missions, especially if he's on a mission with you. On the way to the mission site, he'll hold onto your hand and squeeze it every now and then, just as a way to reassure and comfort himself, and you as well. Your touch is more than enough to make him feel safe and sound <3

Expect lots and lots of hand holding during movies! No matter what kind of movie it is, Yuuta's hand would always be intertwined with yours, squeezing it from time to time. When you're watching a really scary horror movie, he'll hold on to your hand like his life depends on it, and watching a romance movie, his thumb would be stroking your hand gently. Just expect hand holding as long as you both are watching a movie!

He's the kind of boyfriend who likes to hold your hand up to your lips and say things like "your hands are so beautiful, just like you", or "how are your hands so perfect, my darling?" while kissing your hand in between each of his words. He really just wants you to realise how beautiful he thinks you and your hands are 🥺

He loves holding your hand in public and he's so cute about it. If he sees something that interests or excites him, he'll tug your hand gently and bring you to look at it. Most of the time, it's related to you and he just gets really eager to show you!

Overall, he's such a sweet boyfriend when it comes to holding your hand! Yuuta loves holding your hand as much as possible, since holding your hand gives him lots of comfort and makes him really happy to have someone like you love him!

Inumaki Toge

Toge loves holding hands so much! He can't exactly express his feelings for you through his words because of his cursed speech, so physical affection has become his default way of making you feel loved.

He holds your hand whenever it's free, and he always holds it close to him as a way of asking for permission to hold it! The two of you hold hands when taking a break during training, on dates, and practically any time you don't need both your hands to function.

He loves twirling you around when the two of you are holding hands! Yes, it's random and the both of you don't really dance together, but he just enjoys doing it! Sometimes, he just stops in the middle of nowhere randomly and kisses your forehead before twirling you around like you're a ballerina, with his hand still intertwined with yours. He seldom does it in front of people though, it's mostly when the two of you are alone <3

When he holds your hand, he has the habit of tracing small drawings on the back of your hand with his fingers. He especially loves tracing onigiri! It's become a game between the two of you too, and the two of you take turns tracing patterns on the back of each other's hands while the other person has to guess what was drawn!

He really likes holding hands with you when you wear one of his oversized hoodies! The sleeves are too long and reach down to around your knuckles, and Toge loves holding hands with that small portion of his hoodie… just there. It makes him feel really lucky to have you by his side, wearing his hoodie and holding his hand! He loves that his fingers can reach the inside of the sleeve when he holds your hands, it just gives him a sense of comfort that he can't exactly explain.

He holds your hand to sleep every single night! It reassures him that you're right by his side as he sleeps, and the warmth of your hand in his helps lull him to sleep too! No matter how close your bodies are, your hands will find their way to each other (and will rest in a comfortable position) and will stay intertwined throughout the night 🥺

Overall, holding hands is one of his favourite things to do with you! It's sweet and provides the both of you with each other's warmth and comfort! Toge definitely sees holding hands as one of the most important things in your relationship, and he truly enjoys it a lot!

Suguru Geto

Suguru is someone who loves holding hands, but won't openly express it. He doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable by his overwhelming need to have your hand in his all the time, but you've told him time and time again that it's fine to hold your hand whenever he wants.

As a result, your hand is almost always intertwined with your boyfriend's. The both of you just really enjoy the feeling of your skin being in contact with each other and the warmth radiating from each other's hands. And even if it's cold and the two of you wear gloves, the two of you will still be seen walking hand in hand despite not being able to feel each other's skin and warmth. It's just the feeling of having each other close that makes the two of you happy, really 🥺

He's always so polite and asks for permission to hold your hand every time. It was more of a matter of consent at the start of your relationship, but now he uses it to tease you, since he knows that you're more than fine with him holding your hand anytime he wants. He'll still place your hand on top of his and ask, "May I hold your hand?" in the most teasing way possible every time he wants to hold your hand.

Whenever the two of you go shopping together, he'll hold onto your shopping bags for you. He honestly just wants to make sure that your hands are free for him to hold onto no matter what. And once you find out, you offer to hold some of the shopping bags in the hand your boyfriend isn't holding onto just to lessen the load on your boyfriend!

When it rains, he likes to hold onto your hand and either stick both of your hands out from under the umbrella or run around in the rain with you. Of course, he knows that the latter could cause you to fall sick, which is why he hardly does it. But sticking out your intertwined hands out into the rain? Absolutely yes. It's calming for him to feel the raindrops fall onto his hand, and with your hand in his, it makes the whole experience even more fun and relaxing.

Likes holding your hand and placing it right in between both of you at night, before you both go to sleep. He'll bring your hand closer to his and place kisses from your fingertips to your knuckles on each and every single one of your fingers, before placing 3 kisses on the back of your hand. He never fails to do this every single night, and he loves seeing your eyes light up everytime he does it <3

Overall, hand holding is something Suguru loves and craves really often. But no matter how many times the both of you hold hands, you both make sure that you can feel each other's love behind the seemingly simple, yet meaningful, action.

Toji Fushiguro

He loves holding your hand! It gives him the sense that he has someone to hold onto and rely on. He's been through way too much, and the fact that he's able to hold your hand makes him feel that maybe, all the pain he went through in the past was worth going through if he had you to hold onto now.

He holds your hand all the time and doesn't let go unless you do. He takes hand holding seriously, and to him, it's a way to protect you and pull you away from any danger. After he realises that danger isn't always around the corner, he starts to feel the enjoyment and intimacy of holding hands with you.

He didn't always start out by holding your hand though. At the start of your relationship, he used to grab you by the wrist instead of intertwining his hand with yours. It was partially because he wasn't used to hand holding and felt that it was awkward to initiate, and also partially because he felt that he didn't deserve to hold your hand at the start of your relationship. He wanted you to be sure that you wanted to be with him before holding hands with him. Of course, you had to reassure him that you truly did love him and wanted him to hold hands with you multiple times before he got used to it.

His hands are large and really nice to hold! They're calloused and rough, and there are many small scars littered all over his hands from everything he went through. If you ever bring his hands close to your lips and press soft kisses all over his scars, he'll melt on the inside for sure! He won't show it, or admit it out loud, but he feels that it's a very sweet gesture and he definitely feels really loved whenever you do it. It reminds him that you love all of him, scars and bruises included 🥺

He loves it when you're sitting on the couch or on the bed with him and he just holds onto your hand really tight before bringing it to his lips. He'll place wet and messy kisses all over your hand while you squeeze his hand to encourage him to keep going. He'll switch over to your other hand not long after and give it an equal amount of love and kisses <3

Secretly enjoys it when you're holding his hand, but your fingers aren't interlocked and are gripping the side of his hand instead. And when you drag him around to look at different things while holding his hand like that, he feels like he's in a dream. He's only ever seen such a thing happen in romance movies, but to be able to experience it with you… he truly feels like the luckiest person on earth.

Overall, he loves holding hands with you so, so much! Your hand in his makes him feel safe and protected, and he hopes that he can make you feel the same way whenever he holds your hand!

Naoya Zenin

He's not good at being affectionate, he knows that. But he's trying his very best! One thing he makes sure of is that in your relationship, both of you are comfortable with holding hands with each other.

He tries his best to pick up on your body language and decides if he should hold your hand or not from that. If he senses that you're scared or upset, he'll try to reach for your hand and let you hold his hand if you want. Otherwise, you'll have to initiate most of the time because he genuinely doesn't know if he'll piss you off by holding your hand without asking you.

He always touches your hands with his fingers before holding your hand. It's his way of asking for permission to hold hands with you, and the last thing he'll want is for you to push him away because he didn't realise that you didn't want to hold hands. He'll use his index finger and try to link it with your own, and slowly but surely, it leads to full out hand holding.

He's quite insecure and scared to initiate hand holding with you because "what if it's not convenient for them?". Naoya gets that thought really often and sometimes, he doesn't try to initiate any hand holding in fear that he's annoying you. So then it's up to you to initiate it! When he gets extra fidgety and starts playing with the hem of his shirt or fidgeting his hands in his pants pockets, that probably means that he wants to hold your hand, but is too scared to initiate it. Please please hold his hands if that happens, he'll smile and mutter a quiet "I love you" <3

Likes it when you squeeze his hand from time to time. It doesn't have to be for any particular reason at all, it just gives him the reassurance that you're still next to him. He's been through a lot in the past and lots of people have left his side because of how he used to be, but with your hand in his and your gentle squeezes, he doesn't feel lonely and alone 🥺

He especially loves holding hands with you in the rain. He'll use his other hand to hold the umbrella and shelter the both of you, while the hand closer to you is intertwined with yours, his hold on you gentle and comforting. He loves the whole atmosphere of walking together in the rain while you're holding hands so much, it's very magical to him!

Overall, he's still trying his best to initiate hand holding, and he's getting better at it slowly but surely. In the meantime, you'll have to take the initiative and fulfil his desire to have your hand in his.

My headcanons are seriously getting longer and longer without me even realising as I write them lol. But it's too fun writing them ehehe =)) Hope you enjoyed reading!

© @j2lx, 2022

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader #itadori yuuji x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #kugisaki nobara x reader #satoru gojo x reader #nanami kento x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #maki zenin x reader #okkotsu yuta x reader #inumaki toge x reader #suguru geto x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #naoya zen'in x reader #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen hcs #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jjk fanfic #itadori x reader #megumi x reader #gojo x reader #nanami x reader #toji x reader #sukuna x reader

[nowritingonthewall]

Hi! Can I ask for some random and domestic Poe HC? 🤧

Hello Nonnie, thank you so much for your request! I am sorry that my hcs always appear to escalate into mini-essays, I hope that you enjoy them anyway 🥰

!Content warning for allusions to past trauma (because it’s Poe) but it’s mostly fluffy!

Domestic headcanons with Poe (x gn!reader)

- If you were honest, you would never have expected Poe to actually settle down after the Battle of Exegol and the fall of the First Order. After all, he had been on the run since he had been 16 years old, his family a bunch of rebels, his home scattered across the stars. You had fully expected him to make his new job as a flying instructor his whole new life, filling every second with something exciting to do, always chasing the next thrill, never slowing down and let himself think for even a minute.

Instead, after helping the New Republic to get back on its feet, he had put most of his energy and devotion into making a home with you.

Even though he loves his job teaching students (and spending a lot of time in his x-wing while doing so), he always makes sure to finish on time so that he can spend as much of the remainder of the day with you as possible. It has become one of your daily little rituals for you to wait for him, sitting on your porch, two mugs of freshly brewed caf in your hands. It never stops warming your heart to see that gorgeous crinkly-eyed smile lighting up his face as soon as he sees you waiting for him. Giving you an adorable little wave, he always quickens his pace before pulling you into a long and heartfelt hug.

Watching the suns painting the sky with the most beautiful colours imaginable, you’ll sit snuggled up against each other, listening to each other's daily adventures.

It usually doesn’t take long before Poe’s head grows heavy against your shoulders. The first few times he tried to fight it and wouldn’t stop apologizing, no matter how often you tried to assure him that you didn’t mind at all. But soon these late afternoon or early evening naps become just another part of your daily routine.

Poe spent more than half his life making sure that everyone around him felt safe. Now, with the war becoming a more and more distant memory each day, it’s like his mind finally allows his body to catch up on all the rest that he has been denied during all those years – finally feeling safe in your arms.

And there really aren’t a lot of things that you enjoy more than holding your sleepy boy with his head resting in your lap, one hand intertwined with his, as the other one plays with his hair. You smile at every patch of grey that you find among his inky curls, more than grateful to be given the precious gift of being allowed to watch him grow old with you. It makes the warmest and fuzziest feelings bloom inside your heart to see his worry lines relax under the soft touch of your hand as you listen to his content mumbling and cutest little sighs.

- He still can’t sleep without you around, though. Whenever he is in dire need of a nap, and the weather has gone too cold to sit outside, even under a heap of cuddly blankets, he’ll sit down on the couch, look at you with the most irresistible baby ewok eyes and his softest smile and tap on his chest to ask for his favourite human blanket.

Sometimes he falls asleep within seconds as soon as you snuggle up to him. Sometimes he finds that it wasn’t sleep that he craved after all but simply the comforting presence of you right next to him, listening to the soothing rhythm of your breathing as you drift into peaceful slumber until his breath synchronizes with yours in perfect harmony. And sometimes your planned naps turn into Poe and you talking nonsense for hours, exchanging forehead kisses and nose rubs between giggles.

Poe used to think that the only way to escape the constantly reoccurring ringing in his ears was to drown it out with something even louder. Now he realizes that all he needs to find relief is the soft warmth of you lying on top of him, the shape of your bodies fitting together as perfectly as if they had been custom made for each other.

- And he allows himself to take his time with everything that he does. No more bone crushing hugs that aren’t allowed to last longer than a second and that he’d hoped would convey everything that he hadn’t time for to tell you in case he wouldn’t make it back from a mission. No more quick and chaste kisses to whatever body part they would land on before hurrying off into the next briefing or meeting.

Now he makes sure to pour all of his undying love for you into every single hug until you feel nothing but warm and safe and cared for. Every kiss of him shows you that you are the centre of his universe, from the very first kiss in the morning to the last kiss goodnight. They have become so much more tender and gentler, yet they never leave a single trace of doubt about his feelings for you.

Quick shared showers that used to be a practical necessity turn into long shared baths that last until the water turns cold. Sometimes when you aren’t ready to step out of your cocoon of warmth just yet, you wrap each other in fluffy towels and make yourself comfortable on the heating unit waiting until you’re dried off.

As you cuddle up to each other, enjoying the closeness, you find a new softness and gentleness to your relationship that you had never thought possible. You are no longer clinging to each other for dear life, always scared that you might lose each other the next minute, constantly feeling like loving on borrowed time.

And Poe takes his time rediscovering and getting to know you all over again. Gently scrubbing your back in the bath or giving you a long tension-relieving massage. Learning everything there is to know about how you take care of your hair, while committing every single detail about you to memory. Not because he fears that every time might be the very last chance to do so but because he decided to commit every single fibre of his heart and soul to loving you. Because he chooses you. Over and over again.

It takes a while for him to get comfortable letting you take care of him the same way that he takes care of you. Yet every time it is your turn to hold him in the bathtub, he finds it a little easier to relax against your chest, melting into your embrace a little deeper. With every soft kiss pressed to his temple, he manages to let go a little further. As he rests his cheek against yours, while your hands are slowly caressing over his arms, he has never felt more vulnerable and at the same time more safe and protected than during those moments.

That’s when the tears tend to flow.

Those are the days when you make sure to take extra good care of him. Letting him rest his head against your shoulder as you carefully pat his back with a towel, gently kissing his tears away before placing a soft kiss on every single one of his scars, putting pain relieving lotion on his arm and massaging his tense shoulder. Only a few months ago this kind of special treatment would have made him feel more than uncomfortable. Seeing his own needs through your loving eyes, he slowly begins to accept that it is okay to take them seriously. And as he curls up against your chest, he doesn’t only allow it but he knows that he can completely trust you to take care of him.

- Poe has always loved to dance. Nearly as much as he loves to cuddle with you. Sadly, the days of the Resistance hadn’t exactly given you a lot of opportunity to do so and reasons to break into celebratory dances had been all too rare. So now he takes any chance he gets to hug you from behind, snuggle up as close to you as possible, rest his head on your shoulder and his cheek against yours while swaying the both of you to some music coming from your holopad or to a secret rhythm that only the two of you seem to be able to feel.

You dance in the morning while waiting for the first few cups of caf to brew, while waiting for something yummy baking in the oven, when you’re trying to dust the shelves, or while doing the dishes.

Doing the dishes never becomes a boring task with Poe. If he doesn’t turn it into a dance, there are bound to be lather battles that more often than not turn into tickle fights. And they always end with him using the dish cloth to draw you in for a long and wobbly-knees-inducing kiss.

This is also where most of your more serious conversations take place. It’s always been easier for Poe to talk about difficult topics while his hands have something to do. So whenever you feel like there’s something on his mind that he has trouble talking about, you’ll ask him “dish discussion?”, to which he answers with a relieved smile.

And, of course, should the topic require some serious hugging action, you can always continue your discussion on the kitchen floor, which proves over and over again to be the best place to solve any problem imaginable. And in case one of you should be in need of an even more comforting atmosphere, your kitchen cabinet features an extra compartment containing all the components required to build a blanket fort. It’s a habit that goes back to the early days of you joining the Resistance. And afterwards your blanket fort of safety can easily be converted into a blanket fort of romantic dinners and cuddle sessions.

- The two of you share a little garden with Rey, who doesn’t live too far away from you (I am sorry, LEGO, I refuse to believe that the trio would ever split up!). At least it was a little garden in the beginning. It all started when Poe noticed how Rey’s eyes would start to sparkle whenever she came across anything lush and green. So he began to present her with a special plant from every place that he visited. Pretty soon even her house was too small to accommodate her (not so) little personal jungle, so you helped her turning her backyard into a little garden. Which just kept on expanding. Because it never stopped warming Poe’s heart to see the way Rey’s face shining brighter than the suns whenever he found a new exotic plant for her.

He helped her create her special place of happiness both in her mind and in the physical world and you two are the only ones apart from Finn she trusts to take care of it. Even if your and Poe’s gardening sessions sometimes turn into several rounds of mud wrestling or splashy water fights.

Poe’s first very own gardening project featured the planting of a row of koyo trees. They weren’t even supposed to be able to grow in this climate but Poe Dameron has never been one to let logic or reason stand in the way of matters close to his heart. After all, he had managed to nurse a force tree back to health without any jedi tricks. And maybe Rey’s and Finn’s way with the force helped a little, too. Though he will always tell everyone willing (or maybe not too willing) to listen that it was your loving care that made the trees grow and flourish and bloom in the end.

His proud little face when he was able to harvest the very first fruit is another one of your many precious and treasured memories. Of course he let you have the first bite, almost a little nervous about your reaction.

The original plan was to turn the fruits into juice and jelly and lots of cakes. Which was a good plan. And it probably would have worked if the koyo fruits hadn’t been so damn tasty that you ate most of them before they ever had a chance to land in a basket. And what better way to spend the last days of summer than sitting lazily in the cool shadow of a koyo tree, taking turns to lie in each others lap while feeding each other freshly picked koyo fruits?

- During the nights when neither of you is able to sleep, you’ll climb onto the roof of your house, which offers a snug little platform that provides the perfect secluded retreat to lie on your back and gaze at all the stars in the galaxy. A galaxy that’s finally at peace.

Poe’s gaze keeps wandering back to you, though, and every time it does, he can’t stop smiling. As soon as you notice, you’ll snuggle a little closer to cradle his head and place the softest little kiss on his forehead, making him smile even wider. Softly stroking your cheek, he returns the kiss. On your nose, on your temple, across your jaw line, all over both of your cheeks, and everywhere he can reach.

You finally dare to make plans for the future again. Talking about all the stars and systems and planets you would like to explore together. Without rush, without being constantly on your guard, actually being able to look forward to visiting them.

The important thing is that Poe is no longer driven by the uncontrollable need to chase every single one of them. Because he has his own little galaxy lying right here by his side.

#poe dameron #star wars #poe dameron x reader #poe x reader #poe dameron x you #reader insert #poe dameron headcanon #fanfiction #poe dameron fanfiction #chrissie tries to write #chrissie gifs

[trsrina]

summer with zerobaseone

written in second person pov, gn reader, fluff, established relationship wc: ~1.5k

!! mentions of food

jiwoong

- the weather’s hot af but jiwoong’s hotter

- no but swimming with jiwoong>>

- idk but i have this idea that jiwoong probably doesn’t know how to swim but since he’s tall af that ability isn’t really necessary, he’s just there to sit there and look hot and make you blush over him.

- would probably attack you with water and it ends up becoming a whole water fight, his whole ‘sit there and look hot’ thing long forgotten

- he would take u window shopping (in this hot ass weather?) you’d be sweating your ass off and this menace would have his sunglasses over his head with his hands in his pocket, walking around cooly like he’s unbothered by the weather

- but still, he’d be holding a mini fan for you and helping u cool off, bring you to air-conditioned areas and spoil you by buying you whatever you want at the mall

zhanghao

- zhanghao would be like the rest of the population

- it is way too hot to go outside and so you two would spend your summers together at home, cooped up in your bed and spending lazy days with the air conditioner on, limbs tangled up together in the cozy embrace of your bed

- movie marathons every single night literally

- you guys would be binge watching any summer series or movie, you laying comfortably in his embrace as the both of you immerse yourselves in the film, his arms draped around you and your head leaning against him

- and since u have so much time on your hands, you two would attempt to bake but it always end up really disastrous, both of you covered in flour as the kitchen’s a mess, laughing hysterically and having fun together

- it’s yours and zhanghao’s world and we’re just living in it

hanbin

- hanbin LOVES going out with u and so, in this weather, going out is typically a hard task but this man would not give up

- probably brings you to one of those rocky beaches yk and walks around with you while your hands are interlocked together and probably brings you to sit down on one of the rocks, overlooking the clear blue ocean as the waves hit the surface, cool ocean breeze helping you cool off

- you were admiring the serene view while he was admiring another view in front of him, you, the most angelic person he has ever laid his eyes upon

- would try to make cold smoothies for you at home, hoping it can somehow cool off the heat

- like he would be exploring new recipes every other day, using different ingredients, trying to find the perfect formula and make your favourite drink, and sometimes u would try (keyword: try) to help but the most work you’ve done was pour things

matthew

- matthew would make u sit there in your living room, on the couch, and watch every single summer disney channel show or movie known to man like imagine watching high school musical 2 with him

- just the two of you being silly and singing along to the songs like matthew would absolutely slay fabulous and the two of you singing duets tgt like gabriella and troy who? i onky know matthew and you.

- would go island-hopping with you like him bringing you on a little trip to the countryside, just having the time of your life riding bikes around and if you don’t know how to, he would teach you and open up your inner child

- buys those bottles of bubbles and run around with you, blowing bubbles

- and dipping your feet into the warm seawater by a small beach, matthew sneakily kicking water towards you and you fighting back, resulting in the both of you soaked in water

- he would spend all of his money on food like you’re eating good this summer. like relaxing cafe dates together, just you two chatting and talking about literally anything and enjoying the day

taerae

- going to music festivals and concerts with taerae omg

- okay but music and u? the two things he loves the most? sign him up.

- u two would have the time of your lives at those concerts, singing your heart out to your favourite artists’ songs and taerae can hardly focus on the concert bc how can he when a literal angel is right next to him?

- others will be looking at the stage but he’s staring and admiring you, the sight of your ecstatic state and wide smile leaves a small lovesick smile on his face

- karaoke with taerae plz u two just vibing to summer songs like imagine dancing and singing to dance the night away by twice with taerae that would be so fun, his astonishingly beautiful voice just makes it better

- both of you letting loose and singing your heart out, letting out all emotions like imagine taerae crying while belting to some love song bc it reminds him of you and he gets emotional

ricky

- he’s young and rich so he brings u on a surprise little summer getaway to some tropical country, makes sure you get to relax throughout the whole trip and he would plan everything for you

- literally spending all day at a spa resort with him and lounging around the hotel swimming pool, getting massages and stuff

- lazing around in your hotel, cuddling until afternoon and him treating you to some fancy brunch while overlooking a beautiful view you can’t normally see in the city

- takes you out shopping and whatever you eyes land on for even just a millisecond, he’s buying it for you like an ugly and useless keychain? u want it, he buys it for u

- this is unserious but imagine ricky fanning u with those big leaves like he’s your servant yk what im saying like boy is so down bad for u

gyuvin

- walking eumppappa with him omg

- gyuvin holding onto eumppappa’s leash with one hand and the other intertwined with your hand, him staring intently into your eyes as you talk about literally any topic, he’d still pay attention and listen

- eumppappa is basically third-wheeling

- when you’re at the dog park, you watch as gyuvin plays catch with his dog although it looked more like two puppies playing together in your opinion, gyuvin excitedly running around with eumppappa following behind him, playing catch with eumppappa and throwing eumppappa’s favourite tennis ball around

- him literally caressing eumppappa’s face lovingly with his large hands, pure ecstasy and joy on his face as a smile full of adoration appears on your face

- and then he treats you to ice cream later, both of you sharing one spoon as gyuvin feeds you and tries to get eumppappa to stop trying to eat your ice cream as you laugh at the scene in front of you

gunwook

- imagine getting slushies with gunwook bc the weather is just so hot and you guys needed a beverage to cool off like you guys would share your drinks and trying the flavours each other got

- and beach date with gunwook!! imagine having a picnic on the beach with him, him literally being down bad for you and feeding you like he barely even eats he’s just there to admire you with sparks in his eyes, intently immersed in what you were chatting about

- like the both of you lying on the mat and your limbs tangled up, your head in his lap as he gently strokes your hair and admires your face

- you and gunwook would be like those cheesy couples that write your names on the sand together smth like ‘gunwook + y/n’ with a heart around it and he giggles to himself about it all day long

- also would splash water on you and play around with you, picks you up and threatens to throw you into the ocean (he’s joking i hope)

yujin

- this boy loves amusement parks so yeah he’d bring you to one. like wearing matching headbands and all

- drags you to every single ride and the whole time you’re queueing up, you’re chatting with him and the long waiting time doesn’t even seem that long anymore bc time always flies by fast when you’re with yujin

- holds your hand on rides like fingers interlocked and during the ride, he would suddenly turn his head to you and stare at you with his cute bunny smile, thinking about how lucky he is to have you

- makes sure you’re feeling well and constantly reminds you to drink some water or buy you cold drinks to make sure you’re okay

- you guys sharing a mini fan but it’s actually just yujin holding it and having it face you most of the time and you getting upset at that and pushing it towards him and you guys just argue about that the whole time

#— trsrina’s works 📰 #— trsrina’s zb1 works #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zb1 scenarios #zb1 reactions #zb1 drabbles #zb1 fluff #zb1 fics #zb1 imagines #zb1 zhang hao #zb1 hanbin #zb1 matthew #zb1 ricky #zb1 gunwook #zb1 gyuvin #zb1 taerae #zb1 jiwoong #zb1 yujin #zerobaseone #zerobaseone x reader #zerobaseone scenarios #zerobaseone fics #zerobaseone reactions #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone fluff #zerobaseone drabbles #boys planet #boys planet scenarios #boys planet fluff

[goldenempyrean]

Little Burrito

〚 Prompt - “You look so cute wrapped up in that blanket, like a little burrito.” 〛

〚 Pairing - Natasha Romanoff x Reader 〛

〚 Wordcount - 379 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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“You look so cute wrapped up in that blanket, like a little burrito.” Nat cooed lovingly as she pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your red nose causing you to sneeze, “A very sick and sniffly burrito but still adorable nonetheless.” 

She added, earning a small little smile in return. 

You couldn't help but blush at Nat's endearing words, even though you were feeling under the weather. Despite your stuffed nose and scratchy throat, her presence brought warmth to your heart. Snuggled up on the couch, you leaned into her comforting embrace, grateful for her care and attention. 

"I think you're the adorable one here," you replied, your voice slightly hoarse. "Taking care of me like this.” 

Nat chuckled softly, her fingers gently stroking your hair. "Well, someone has to make sure you're getting all the love and attention you need. Besides, it's not every day I get to see my tough warrior get a little vulnerable." 

You playfully swatted at her arm, though your weakened state made it more like a feeble gesture. "I'm not that tough." 

Nat's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Oh, really? So, the last time we were on a mission, and you single-handedly took down those goons twice your size, that was just luck?" 

You couldn't help but let out a weak laugh, which soon turned into a cough. Nat immediately reached for a glass of water on the coffee table and handed it to you. You sipped it gratefully, feeling the soothing coolness ease your irritated throat. 

"Maybe a little luck," you admitted, your voice returning to a whisper. "But having you by my side gives me all the strength I need." 

Nat's expression softened, her thumb gently caressing your cheek. "And I'll always be by your side, no matter what. Whether you're taking down bad guys or fighting off a pesky cold." 

Leaning in, Nat pressed her lips against your forehead in a tender kiss. The warmth of her touch spread through you, providing a momentary relief from your symptoms. It was as if her love had the power to heal. 

"I love you," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity. 

"I love you too," Nat replied, her voice equally soft. "Now, let's focus on getting you better, my little burrito." 

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#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x you #sickfic #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff sickfic #marvel #mcu

[vetteltea]

Oscar Piastri and Snowball Fights [no warnings]

Day 9 of the Vetteltea Advent Calendar

Note: Juls, my dearest, darling @rose-tinted-juls, this is for you. Thank you for being such a ray of sunlight in every single day that comes past me. You are so kind with your words and in every single aspect. I am truly so lucky to have you around and I really hope I've done justice with Oscar! It's my first time writing him!

His eyes are wide, a blanket of snow settling over the Mclaren Headquarters rapidly. Nearly every employee had transformed into a child, scampering over to the window in order to watch the rapid snowfall over the rolling green scenery. 

You were no exception; the ever-growing minutes of the meeting you had been summoned to alongside Oscar were suddenly abandoned, standing at the large glass windows, a gaggle of different voices swapping. 

There was something so alluring about snow to the Australian; maybe due to the weather being almost non-existent in his home state, it had been a scintillating experience ever since moving to England. When you had mentioned it so nonchalantly, eyebrows had skidded up his face, in awe of your casual mention.

That was half of the reason the two of you had bonded oh-so-well. The two of you were old heads on young shoulders; with your recent promotion, becoming the youngest race engineer on the grid, it had only made sense that Oscar, the youngest driver, would be your partner in crime. He couldn’t have asked for a better partner, both on and off the grid. (The ‘off’ part was still pretty quiet; the two of you had been official for the better part of six months, not that anybody knew.)

The clock still remained ticking, though not even Zak Brown himself would refuse his staff at watching the first snowfall of the year. Oscar’s tanned arm nudges you gently, holding out his hand subtly; he didn’t need dating ideals suddenly sprung on him atop of the seemingly endless information which was barraged in his direction. You’re certain nobody clocks as you take Oscar’s hand, letting the Australian guide you through the corridors and down to the main Foyer, scanning your identification cards and heading out into the snow. 

It’s cold, it’s cold but so beautiful. Oscar feels his eyes widen, the snowfall drifting for as far as he could see. It lingers over the scenery, over each street, each road-

His inner thoughts are suddenly disrupted by a cold, rough snowball wedged into his back. Immediately, Oscar snaps around, the culprit- you- crouched in the snow, almost doubling over from where the snowball had caught your boyfriend off guard. His grin mirrors your own, scooping up and compacting a ball of snow into his bare hands. 

“Osc- No! I haven’t got a coat!” You protest, still giggling as his eyebrows cock, motioning to the back of his now damp shirt.

“Neither did I!” He grins, perfect aim and precision hitting you straight into the stomach with the Snowball. This time, he’s the one to laugh, though whilst crouched down, obtains a scoop of snow into his hands, keeping it cupped as he begins to quickly step towards you. 

“What are you-” you don’t have time to finish your own words, gasping as a wedge of snow is shoved down the back of your shirt, Oscar bursting into laughter as you slide around the place, determined to remove the snow from your clothing. 

“Oscar, you shit!” You squeal, finally wiping away the coldness from your skin. Your boyfriend can’t help but smirk, walking up behind you and circling your waist in comfort, his head resting on your shoulder. 

It’s nice; comforting. Your boyfriend leans, pressing a soft kiss to your jawline, Swift so nobody can see his affection. You let your body relax for a moment, simply inheriting the warmth, the comfort of his touch, completely ruined when he sticks his hand across your skin, wiping the remaining ice from his fingers and emitting a gasp from you. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ He can’t stop grinning now, pulling you tighter into his chest. Your futile attempts to push him away are stopped, eyes widening when you see a familiar figure step across from the snow-clad ground, his eyes widening in mock shock, smirking to himself. 

“Zak owes me £50.” He mumbles, patting his fellow driver on the shoulder and heading into the building, leaving both of you to stare at one another in shock.

#Oscar Piastri #OP81 #Oscar Piastri x Reader #Oscar Piastri Imagine #Oscar Piastri One Shot #Oscar Piastri x You #Reader Insert #F1 #Formula 1 #F1 x Reader #Oscar Piastri Blurb #Oscar Piastri x Y/N

[twogyuu]

SVT: How They Would Propose

pairings: svt x gn!reader

genre: fluff/crack, lowercase intended

warnings: mention of food and wine in some members, insanely corny and delusional (HELP-)

a/n: inspired by a lecture by conversation with mom 😀

. . . .

seungcheol

one word: extravagant

it was supposed to be a surprise, but he told you one night when you were making dinner 😅

rents out a whole restaurant, invites yours and his entire family (including that auntie two generations removed that thought you were never gonna get married), all his members, and all the Pledis staff

Before he does it, it's announced and he has everyone watching while he makes a sappy speech about how much he loves you and wants to do forever with you 🫶

Kiss kiss hug hug 🥰

jeonghan

one day suggests you go on a solo run to the grocery store to buy flour while he cooks dinner and you're like 'wtf? jeonghan doesn't cook-'

but you make it a block away from your shared apartment and find seokmin standing by the stop sign in an explorer fishing hat announcing that jeonghan sent you on a treasure hunt

you go all over town at all the places that he deemed special for the two of you🥺 . . . only for the treasure hunt to lead you home again and the smoke detector is going off and mingyu is tryna save your dinner 😐

it's a cozy one 💙 eventually just orders delivery from your favorite restaurant and does it from the comfort of your home and in his stained t-shirt

joshua

it started as a normal date

he is a gentleman so nothing really seems out of the ordinary

until you're walking home and you hear rustling in the bushes and you spot seungkwan's head peaking out with a camera

when you turn around man was SMOOTH and was already down on one knee asking you to marry him

bonus: it was under the same lamppost where he first asked you out :')

. . . .

jun

simple, but cute!

he asked you to dress nice for the day - he planned a picnic date <3

the weather was just right: spring - not too cold, not too warm; the cherry blossoms were blooming, and the sun was just about to set

you're taking a walk in the park and at the end of the path, he pulls out a ring

it was an heirloom and his mom passed it down to give to you - if you want him the same ofc :P

soonyoung

so so so so nervous!!!

it'll be a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, but he rented out the balcony with accompanying music and wine

rehearsed "will you marry me?" in eleven different tones and sends them to jihoon to decide which ones best

. . . but he forgot which one jihoon said 'yes' too 😅

panics and starts practicing again while waiting for you to arrive

but you show up in the middle of the one he's yodeling (it's a yes from you on sight anyways)

wonwoo

i feel like his would be super personalized and private (which isn't a bad thing!)

shameless plug for myself: i wrote a whole fic here actually 💀

BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS HEADCANON-

one night, he asks if you want to play games with him

he suggests mabinogi, which you do find a little strange - he's a league kind of guy, but you agree anyways

y'all are fighting off enemies on a hill and after you defeat them in the chat he randomly pops the question like: "you're not too bad of a gaming partner: marry me?"

you think it's a joke until he tells you through his headset to lookup from your computer and he got that shy smile, pushing up his glasses with a ring in his hand 😳

jihoon

it is not a jihoon proposal without a song written for you

one of those lowkey jazz clubs and for once he volunteers to go up and busk - guitar and all

he's hella immersed: his voice sweet, fingers gliding smoothly over the strings and the chords sound soothing, long hair sweeping into his eyes

he mentions a memory of you so seemingly lowkey and forgettable, but it was so special to him, he put in the song and you're standing their like :O

before you leave that night, he asks you outside bc he's too shy to do it in front of everyone hehehe

. . . .

seokmin

it'll be after a long week of work - he picked you up from the office and y'all went out for noodles or something

you're walking and just wandering the city and he takes you to a flower shop!

asks you to pick your favorite flowers and make them into a bouquet

"what's the occasion?" // "ah just 'cus."

but he asks you in the park :3

ofc there will be a film picture taken of you lol

mingyu

also extravagant, but make it intimate?

he rents out a rooftop of a restaurant, but it's just you and him for dinner with nice music

he asks you to dance after dessert :)

when you get tired, the two of you just kind of stargaze and people watch below

there's one of those binocular machines there that needs quarters

asks if you want to look off into the city

you say 'yes' and he puts in the quarters

while you're looking through, he asks what you see

just as you're about to answer, he holds out the ring in front (i.e. YOU SEE YOURE FUTURE WITH HIM SJDJDJKDKEEKEKOO)

minghao

it's gonna be on a beach

but like night time because he's corny like that

flower in your hair, sand stuck to your feet, hands interlocked, and breeze grazing your skin as you walk along the shore

asks you on the boardwalk that's light up all pretty and colorful

everyone sees and gasps, but no one else matters rn: his world is only you and you, him <3

. . . .

seungkwan

nothing better than a karaoke proposal am i right?

it's late night out, but he insists!!!

y'all go back to the place you used to sing at in college when things were rough and y'all were kinda broke

and then he plays YOUR guys' song

he got 100 and the machine goes quiet

he's only looking at you all glassy-eyed and sweet under all these flashy tacky colored lights and you're like ???

manz starts sniffling and you're even more concerned and you're about to get up to him and ask him what's wrong

but he starts confesses his undying love for you and kneels in front of you and whispers the question as if it's the world's biggest secret - it's quiet, but impactful

vernon

y'all already know i am delusional for him unfortunately 😭

he'd make a whole frickin' movie for you - using his imovie skills from his predebut days to copy and paste together a film of you and him with music and all, YA KNOW????!

and to make matters more delusional (for me) worse it's inspired by those cheesy but oh-so-good 80s teen romcom films 😭

those moving photos /videos y'all took in photobooths, videos he took of you when you weren't looking, clips that his members took when y'all were cuddling and giggling about something stupid by the campfire during a group outing -

you come over thinkin' you're just gonna watch some avatar, but he turns on the movie he made instead :')

"starring: vernon and y/n" **chokes and cries a little**

(HELP)

chan

for some reason, i feel like this is gonna be like a promposal lmao

your family's home, but he's gonna invite his members to perform and hold up signs

it'll be a cozy and small get-together, but in high-school-musical-fashion seokmin just starts singing out of nowhere and everyone else starts joining in

and you're like uuuhhh what

at the end of it all you were led to the backyard, where fairy lights were set up and everything

the members are wearing shirts that spell out "WILL YOU MA[RRY ME]?" (chan is holding the RRY ME part bc there were more letters than members)

you roll your eyes and call him a loser, but he's your loser, so duh yes you will <3

(manz let's out a sigh of relief bc he almost thought you wouldn't-)

#seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen headcanons

[jimhopperlova]

- Power Damage (18+)

18+ MDNI!!

Pairing(s): helping!jim hopper, helpless! fem reader

Summary: when reader comes home after a long shift at the diner, she finds her power is non-existent. she asks the local chief to help, but find out he helps in more ways than one.

Warning(s): large age gap (reader is 22, hop is 41), masturbation (f receiving), unprotected p in v.

i hope you enjoy! ive wrote something similar to this, but this ones a lot better. more love making than actual sex.

‘10 minutes and i can take a nice hot shower.’ you said to yourself, finishing up cleaning the tables you had. you had to be the busser and the server of course, cause why not? you sighed, continuing to look at the clock ahead of you. no, you can’t. the more you look, the more time went by slower.

it was nearing 10 o’clock, you of course having the closing shift. you didn’t mind as your boss was a nice gentleman. he always offered you free food, made sure you were comfortable in any setting, and if any customers got out of line, he was right there in tow. you couldn’t ask for a better boss.

“alright, looks like it’s your time to go. get outta here. get some rest.” speaking of, your boss had said to you as you finished your last table. you smiled brightly, the shower sounding more and more better as the day went on. you quickly put the dirty dishes and rags away where they needed to go, and quickly hung your apron up on the employee break room door. you hurriedly grabbed your winter coat, hat, and gloves. ‘warm shower, warm shower.’ you shouldn’t ask for anything too much, because then your hopes are shattered.

“what?! no!” you had managed to see that your power was off. the lightswitch didn’t work, and the oven didn’t work either. you wouldn’t be able to be warm. you did everything you thought you could to steer away from this very moment. you lived in the midwest, weather was always the worst. when people say it’s bad, it’s worse. and when people say weather is nice, its bad. there was no way of fighting off the inevitable.

great. now what? you weren’t about to sleep in your cold car nor your cold house. start a fire in the house? probably not the smartest idea. go over to everyone’s homes you know of and beg mercilessly to stay at their house until your power’s back on? better idea. but you knew that you would need to get the power back on, so you had managed to helplessly drive to the police station. you didn’t know of anyone capable of helping.. not even a handyman. maybe you can be desperate, especially when talking to the chief.

chief jim hopper was a regular at the diner. he stumbled across you one night when you were his server. clearly you made an impression on him, but of course, you are oblivious, so you didn’t really understand. until tonight when you are talking to flo, hoping the nice old lady would understand.

“listen, i.. i stumbled across a situation and i don’t know of any handyman in town. is there a way you guys could help me? i know you’ll probably tell to screw off and suck it up, but.. i really need your guys’ help. maybe give me a directory?” you asked flo in the most desperate voice you could. you were shaking of cold, and this situation just made things worse.

“ms, our hours are closed. we are only open for emergencies,” flo spoke to you, you looked at her in despair. but this was an emergency! you couldn’t be warm to save your life. maybe you could stay here overnight? pretend to be a criminal. break something. “but.. i can see what i can do.” flo then spoke. you looked at her with a smile, probably thanking her a million times. you sat down on one of the chairs, hugging yourself to try and keep yourself warm. you then watched as a door opened, and out came a tiring chief. you wanted to say hi, but things were more important right now.

“(y/n), what are you doing here? everything alright?” the chief had then asked you, and you could only smile lightly. things were alright you supposed, but you’re freezing in your boots. literally!

“oh, hey jim. yeah, uh.. everything’s fine. except my power’s out, as well as my pipes are burst. maybe i’ll just stay at a motel..” you told yourself. you hadn’t even considered that. you involuntarily facepalmed yourself at the thought of a motel. how dumb could you be?

“well.. i’m just headin’ out now. maybe i’ll stop by and check it out.” jim mentioned. you looked up at him with a wide smile. coming to the police station was the smartest idea you could have thought of.

“sir, you have a call waiting for you-“ flo started to interrupt, basically telling him not to help you. all hope was gone. he had a job to do afterall, not bother with your stupid pipes. oh. you didn’t think that could be dirty until you truly thought about it. your face emitted a deep blush, and tried your best to ignore it.

“it’s alright, flo. this shouldn’t take long.” jim said again, looking down at you as in a ‘let’s get out of here before i get pulled back into the office’. you smiled up at him and stood, leading him out to your car.

“thank you, jim. it really means a lot.” you told the chief who could only smile softly, heading to his blazer. you hopped in your nova and headed towards your home. you didn’t think anything would come between you and jim, so you only treated him as a friend. but you basically owe him a shit ton of favors for doing this for you. you didn’t know what you would do without the chief.

“yep. busted,” jim muttered as he looked underneath your home. you cursed to yourself, shaking your head. god damn it. curse your mother for having old pipes. your mother practically gave you this house in her will, and you had a three bedroom ranch house at the age of 21. being an adult sucks. “and the powerlines are froze. until they thaw out, you’re kinda stuck.” jim explained further, and you shook your head. of course. could this get any worse?

“shit. uh.. okay. i guess i’ll drive around town to see if any motels have vacancy. thanks for helping me, you didn’t have to.” you told the chief who could only shake his head and run his hand through his hair.

“save the gas. the one motel in this town is full. almost the whole town is outta power,” jim explained again, bearing the bad news. so the night really could get worse. you cursed to yourself about a million times before jim could only laugh. you looked at him in bewilderment, wondering what his problem was. “you don’t have any friends or somethin’ to crash with?” he asked you, his hands placed on his hips. you shook your head, hugging yourself again.

“nope. i’ve only been here for a year, if you can’t recall my sob story when you were last at the diner,” you explained to jim. you had a bad time shutting up about how you ended up in hawkins, especially when they ask you about how you ended up here. when someone was new to the town, it sparked up the whole entire town. you didn’t stop explaining where you came from for about a month. “i have coworkers, but they have kids and their house is full. that is if they have power. honestly.. i just need a warm shower.” you laughed softly, and jim lightly scratched the back of his neck, almost in thought.

“well.. my place is trashed. but if ya need.. you can stay. granted, i still have power and water when i get back home.” jim spoke. those were the words you needed to hear after a long debate in your mind of where to go. you smiled brightly and looked at jim with probably the biggest smile.

“oh my gosh, thank you so much! thank you, thank you, thank you!” you told the man and hugged him tightly, despite if he wanted to or not. you let him to and looked up at him. “i’ll go grab some clothes. i’ll be back.” you told him before heading inside your cold home. seconds later, you emerged with a backpack full of clothes for tomorrow and your pajamas.

“leave your car here, you’ll be safe.” jim told you. you couldn’t help but laugh and hop in the car next to the chief. the drive to his place was silent. you couldn’t quite place if it was a good quiet, or a bad quiet. but it was definitely an awkward quiet. meanwhile, jim was deep in thought. his mind continuously wandered about whether it was a good idea to bring you to his place or not. the last thing he wanted was to be judged, especially by you.

for some reason, you were never able to escape his mind. those small little talks and bright smiles at the diner did him dirty. maybe that’s why he continues to go there when he isn’t swamped with paperwork. your bright eyes and that widened smile pulls him right back into the diner, always making sure he left you a generous tip. you were young. and see, that was another problem. he was a 40 year old man, watching over the town, protecting it. you were merely 22, high hopes still ahead of your future. and maybe that’s why he has hesitated asking you out on a proper date.

finally, you two arrived at jim’s trailer. it seemed kinda homey on the outside. however, inside it seemed like a druggie’s fever dream. pill bottles, beer bottles, beer cans, dirty clothes, just.. everywhere. you weren’t expecting the chief to be clean by any means (he’s a busy man), but you didn’t expect it to be this dirty.

“s’cuse the mess,” jim spoke before he looked around and tried his best to move some stuff around so it wasn’t so messy. he didn’t expect to bring you to his trailer tonight, but if he had to be honest, he was glad he had the opportunity to. “you can place your coat and stuff on the couch for now.” he also instructed. you looked around and didn’t know what to say. nice place? nice.. bottles of beer? instead, you took the latter.

“uh.. thanks again for letting me stay. it was really nice of you.” you said awkwardly before disgarding your coat and hat and mittens. you placed them on the couch, feeling the warm air. finally.

“course. not a problem. uh.. bathroom’s over there. i’ll let you take the bed tonight.” jim spoke and you immediately looked at him. ‘i’m used to sleeping on the couch, anyway’ jim had said to himself internally.

“no, its okay. i can sleep on the couch, i don’t mind.” you smiled brightly before excusing yourself to the bathroom. you shut the door behind yourself, and looked in the mirror. you didn’t look too bad, but you didn’t look hot either. the stress made your forehead vein pop, and hopefully after the shower it would be alright. you sighed before disgarding your clothes you had on that day and grabbed the pajamas from the backpack, placing them on the bathroom counter. you turned on the water and felt the way the warm water graced your fingertips. ah. not enough hot water, though.

meanwhile, the chief was sat in his usual spot in the recliner. beer in hand, he channel surfed the tv. he was doing well, he thought. refraining from your good looks, doing his best to not stare too long. but.. could you blame him? it was you. and now you were in his trailer in the shower. naked. he tried his best to let the tv distract him from going in there and spying on you. he really was dirty.

finally, you came out of the shower. you were in a white plain t-shirt and some plaid pajama pants. the perfect outfit to keep warm. you noticed jim was sat in his recliner, watching tv. he was still in his police uniform, and obviously.. you thought the uniform was hot. his pants made his crotch area tighter, so if there was any chance he had any attraction to you.. you would know. the unform defined his muscles well, and he always demanded respect in it. you didn’t know, but you knew a power play was hot.

“i’m uh.. done. it was really nice, thank you,” you told jim softly, slowly reaching to couch and sitting down. jim looked over at you and nodded, going back to the tv. fuck, it was going to be awkward, wasn’t it? what could you do to break this silence thing? “uh.. how’s your job treating you? good, i hope?”

“what?” jim asked and looked at you. you shrugged and looked over at him, hoping to let him know you were just trying to start a conversation. “it’s uh.. same old song and dance. how ‘bout the diner?” he asked you, taking a drink from the beer can. he then reached for the pack of cigarettes, lighting one up. another thing you’re attracted to. the way the cigarette was in between his lips. fuck, you really wished you were that cigarette right now. “hello?” jim had piped up again, and you had to bounce back from your trance. you laughed and shook off the thoughts.

“sorry, uh.. was thinkin’. um.. it’s alright. i mean, it’s gotten better. i got a pay boost, and new clientel has been tipping better.” you told him. you smiled over at him, and jim couldn’t help but smile back at you softly. cigarette still in hand, he took another hit from the cigarette, letting the smoke exhale from his throat. he looked relaxed.. but stressed. you weren’t sure what that was, but you knew that he was kind enough to let you stay in his trailer. you shouldn’t pry.

“that’s good. glad you’re getting what you deserve,” jim spoke. a few more minutes and more staring at him smoking the cigarette, he finished what he was doing and stood from his recliner. he shut the tv off before turning to you. “alright, it’s ‘bout time i head to bed. please, just.. sleep in the bed. it’ll make me feel better.” jim ordered you. you sighed and nodded, standing as well.

“i’m sorry, i just don’t want to be a bother..” you said softly before jim could only think, ‘why would you be a bother?’ nope, personal feelings had to stay far away from his mind. “goodnight, jim. thank you again.” you spoke softly and slowly made your way to the bedroom. jim couldn’t help but watch as you walk to his bedroom. those pajama pants fit you well. he shook the thoughts away again and started to disgard himself of his uniform.

you fell onto his big bed. it was massive. it was cozy, and even smelled like him. despite the piles of dirty clothes and pill bottles everywhere, it felt nice. it would feel way better if he was next to you, though. you sighed and decided to try and fall asleep. an hour passes though, and you’re still awake. not only were you in a foreign place (you didn’t sleep well at places you never stayed at before), but your mind was wide awake. it wouldn’t shut the hell up. thoughts of jim coming in here and making sweet love to you wouldn’t leave. you did your darndest to not masturbate in his bed, but maybe it would relieve some pressure.

you sighed and slowly rolled out of his bed and slowly made your way out to the living room. jim looked asleep on the couch. you ducked behind the corner hoping to not wake him. he looked way less stressed. his eyes were closed, the way his belly went up and down from breathing.. at peace. but you could now get a better visual of him without his uniform on. and for some reason.. it turned you on even more. you swallowed past the lump in your throat and swaddled your way back into his bed.

thoughts danced in the front of your mind, not escaping the wandering of your eyes. what if jim came in here? what if he confessed his feelings and made sweet sweet love? you kept thinking of how he would taste on your lips. his beard would tickle you a little and he would taste of beer and cigarette smoke. but when his head ducked lower, the beard would tickle you even more. lower on your stomach, lower above your navel.. lower on your cunt that is aching to be touched. you swallowed and decided to give it a shot.

your hand ducked underneath your pajama pants, circling around the nerve that wanted to be touched the most. you imagined jim’s finger there instead, the thick digits circling around it. praising you on how good you were doing, confessing his love to you. you let out a soft moan, the thoughts swirling around in your mind. before you knew it, your finger danced around your entrance. you entered one finger inside of you, clearly that not doing much. thoughts of him telling you to beg for it, for him to add just one finger.

“please, please, jim..” you sighed out, begging jim in your mind. you didn’t think you would be loud externally, but it was loud enough for jim to stir in his sleep. he awoke to soft moans coming from his bedroom, curiousity getting the best of him. he stood slowly and walked over to his bedroom, almost forgetting you were in there. but the sight in front of him added a glow to his eyes he hadn’t seen in a long time.

sure, he has pleased lots of women in his spare time. but none of them could have compared to you. the way your hand was underneath your pajama pants, the way your eyes were closed with pleasure.. the way you moaned his name. and my, was that the sweetest way he could have heard anyone say his name. it was almost angelic the way you sounded. he had to palm himself at just the sight, but it came to a shock that he was already hard. what did you even do to him?

“please, i need you, jim..” you moaned out. fuck. jim was at a loss of words. he took a moment to run his hand through his hair, thinking what he should exactly do. he wanted nothing more than to replace your hand with his, whisper sweet nothings in your ear.. however, this was different. he had to remember his morals. “jim.. i’m- i’m gonna cum.” you shrieked out. he wondered if this was some kind of trick, and you weren’t really lost in your mind. except, you really were. you were oblivious to the fact that jim was spying on you. you know what? screw his morals.

jim slowly made his way inside the room, trying his best to not startle you. he wanted to surprise you if you really were about to cum to the thought of him. but when you heard footsteps, your eyes shot open. there was jim, standing there. right in front of the bed. had he been watching you? before you could make any excuse, his hand cupped your mouth. you looked at him with wide eyes, honestly afraid of what he might say. what he might do.

“shh..” jim shushed you, his eyes dancing down to where your hand rested. it was still there, but paused. he looked disappointed. “keep goin’. it’s okay.” he had whispered, and you looked at him confused. you didn’t dare question what he just told you to do. your hand started to rub circles at your clit again, that feeling of cumming being lost. you were startled, and you didn’t think you could muster up that feeling again. especially when he was watching you now.

“jim.. i need.. your help..” you whispered at him, looking at him with doe like eyes. the glow in them.. jim couldn’t resist. he slowly took your hand away, and instead replaced it with yours. his large fingers started to dance around your clit, adding that pressure you were so desperately after. you hummed softly, your eyes shutting softly. the same thoughts filled you, but with the man that was doing this to you, it made it all that much better.

“feel good?” jim whispered in your ear. you nodded desperately, your hands gripping at the sheets. you couldn’t control your moans at this point. you opened your eyes and looked at jim.. he was mesmerized by the way you reacted to his touch. he was curious to see how you would do with himself inside you. he slowly laid down next to you, so he had better access. the motions continued, but you needed more.

“jim.. i need your fingers.. inside me..” you spoke desperately, looking up at him. jim could only accept and nodded softly, one finger sliding inside of you. you moaned softly at the way his finger already managed to find your g-spot, it feeling all too good. he thrusted his finger inside of you, of course slow. he wanted you to be prepared for his cock.

“want another one?” jim asked you, and you nodded. he smirked softly before he looked down at you. he was simply drunk off the way you moaned for him. the way you yearned for his touch. “beg for me..” he instructed and you immediately obliged.

“please jim, i.. i need another finger.. need to feel you..” you moaned out, looking up at him. the two of you locked eyes, and you felt like you were about to cum. that familiar feeling was started to rise, but you needed just a little more to help. “p-please. need your finger to cum..” you begged once more, and immediately he obliged. the second finger added more than what you bargained for. you practically came immediately. “f-fuck, jim- i’m.. cum-cumming..!” you shrieked out, your hands gripping at the sheets on his bed. you were full of him.. his bed, his scent.. his cologne.. and now his fingers deep inside you.

“that’s it. you’re doing so good..” jim praised in your ear. he felt himself get even more hard at the way you spasmed around his fingers, if that was possible. his cock now ached for you. he wanted to be deep inside you, claim you as his. he didn’t care how young you were.. at this very moment, you are all he wanted. and will continue to be, no matter what anyone had thought. once you finished on his fingers, he slowly slid them out of you and licked up the juices. he looked down at you, and noticed how relaxed you were. normally, he would just stick his dick inside and be done with it. but it was.. you. no, he was going to savor this.

“jim.. need.. more of you..” you had managed to whisper out, despite how exhausted you were. you really did want more of him. no matter how overstimulated you got, you needed him inside of you.

“don’t worry, it’s comin’ sweetheart. just need.. to savor you..” and before you knew it, his lips captured yours with his. it was deep, hard, passionate.. and he tasted just like you thought he would. except, a more.. whiskey taste. you were drunk off his lips, the two of you moving in sync. your hand had then palmed at his boxers, feeling the way his cock ached for your touch. you were in heaven. “shit. don’t do that. i need to be inside you..” he hummed against your lips, not wanting to stop. your lips were so addictive. they tasted of coffee.. not only were mornings for coffee and contemplation, it seemed nights were too.

you moaned softly against jim’s own, your hands traveling from his boxers to his chest. hairy. but you didn’t care. he was groomed exceptionally well. his hairy chest fit him, and you were glad for that. eventually, jim took things to the next level. he laid you down fully onto the bed, him on top. he broke the kiss to look down at you, his blue eyes meeting yours. you looked absolutely beautiful.. he wanted you to know this.

“so.. beautiful..” jim hummed out softly before his head ducked down to your neck. he left feather-like kisses, before he left some on your collarbone. you moaned softly, before his hands had found the bottom of your shirt. you helped him take it off, and you didn’t think jim could look more happy until now. his head ducked down to your breasts now, twirling one nipple with his tongue. he made sure the leave equal attention to the other as well, making sure you were left satisfied.

finally, he was getting somewhere. you watched as he started to slide down your pajama pants and underwear. he flung them somewhere in the room, looking down at you. you looked up at him in wonderment, hoping he would do more. you nodded up at him, in hopes he would.

“please, jim.. please.. need to feel you..” you spoke softly, and this was all he needed to hear. he disregarded his boxers, leaving him naked in the moonlight. you watched as he stroked at his cock. it was thick, veiny.. it looked like the perfect puzzle piece.

“i got you. you’re all mine,” jim whispered out before spitting on his hand for lubrication, and then slowly thrusted inside of you. your eyes got big, and he wasn’t even fully inside you. “oh.. fuck. i’m not gonna last long.” jim admitted with a soft chuckle. you fit him so well. so wet, so tight.. it was fucking perfect. you are perfect.

“oh.. jim..” you moaned out softly. you looked up at him, watching the way he shut his eyes softly. when he felt you were well adjusted, he slowly thrusted in more. and eventually, slow thrusts in and out. he then leaned lower down at you, hitting that spot so.. perfectly. “mm.. jim.. it feels so good..” you moaned out, his lips captured onto your neck. his thrusts were gaining at a decent pace now, but he didn’t want to just fuck you. he wanted to make love with you. his hands found yours, and he gripped them tight. your eyes were now shut softly. you then realized.. this was the best sex you have ever had. it was more emotional, more intimate.. chief jim hopper really did have a thing for you.

“fuck.. baby, you’re so.. good. so fuckin’.. perfect..” jim moaned in your ear, getting high off of your own moans. the way you called out his name. the way you accepted his cock inside you. the way you wanted him, and the way he wanted you. with these thoughts in mind, he was getting close, and you were too. again. “i can feel you gettin’ tight.. you gonna cum for me?” jim had asked you, and you immediately nodded.

“y-yes, jim.. i’m gonna cum for you.. fuck it feels.. so good..” you had moaned again, feeling that familiar feeling in your tummy. before you knew it, you were spasming around his cock, you milking yourself on his cock.

“shit, baby. so good, so fucking.. good. can you take my cum?” jim had asked you, and of course you nodded. you wanted his seed deep inside you. you wanted to be his, and wanted nothing more than for him to claim you. with that, he felt himself become undone. your scent, your moans, the way you fucking breathed.. it was over. he emptied himself deep inside you, spasming around your own aching cunt. after he was finished, he laid on top of you, but not fully. he didn’t need you to be struggling to breathe.

“jim.. that felt.. so good.” you managed to break the silence after a few moments, and all jim could so was chuckle. he placed a kiss on top of your head, making sure that you knew you really were safe. with him.

“you’re more than welcome to stay again, y’know. anytime you want.” jim had whispered in your ear. that was his way of telling you his true feelings about you. he wanted you. and you were now grateful for those old pipes your mom put on the house.

#chief jim hopper #david harbour #jim hopper #jim hopper x reader #stranger things