#thank you so much for your feedback anon!!!! sorry it took me a few days to get to it!! i just didn’t want to spoil anyone too early hehe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shattersstar · 1 year

Note

Bestie it is me, the anon from a couple of days ago, many mutual kisses for my favorite tumblr writer!!! I am a teensy weensy (read: very much) cross faded and was wondering if you would be willing to write just a little thing with the “desperate kiss in the rain” prompt from the list featuring Jason Todd or Adrian Tepes? I feel the need to be In My Feelings about fictional romance lmao

ghost of love

pairing: jason todd x reader

prompt: a desperate kiss in the rain

a/n: wrote this stoned lmaoo so twins <3 and thank u for the request ur so kinddd im actually p happy with this so here goes my first fic of 2023 besties. feedback is always appreciated!!!

—

Ghost of love bound unto your name

So it be running through my veins

Yesterday I fell out of grace

I made you feel bad again

I wanted all your reasons explained

Guess I wanted too much

—

Spring had made its way to Gotham, snow melting into slush and flooding the streets as the days grew longer and the winter chill started to recede. It crept into the past as singing birds and allergies were to come. It was supposed to be a time of happiness, of excitement for warmth before the general population complained about the heat plaguing the city in a few months time. But Jason watched the rain that had cleansed the city for a week already with certain disdain.

His apartment was silent save the rain’s ambiance—it hadn’t been this quiet in ages. Hadn’t been so hollow and empty since you came into his life. A presence to warm the space even when you sat in silence scrolling through your phone. Or when you cooked and hummed to yourself or when you took phone calls in his bedroom and didn’t think he could hear you sing his praises. It should’ve made his heart swell, flattered by your adoration of him, and yet it made Jason anxious. Nausea flowering in his throat at the sounds of your lies on his behalf, covering up the life he lead all while admitting how deeply you felt for him. He had heard that phone call so many times, a quick tangent usually, but it stuck with him nonetheless.

It was those moments—sweet and tender—he turned into something dark, twisted. The way you unabashedly reached for his hand at the grocery store, or called his name in a room full of people felt…wrong. You weren’t supposed to be like this with him, no one was. Jason didn’t deserve such kind words and outward gestures of love, and you didn’t deserve to be trapped with him. Stuck in something that could never really be anything. You were too good for Gotham and for him. He had always known it, tried to ignore it and just dwell in the bliss that came from being with you, but his guilt was stronger. More consuming than the feelings he had for you. It made breaking your heart painful, but a necessity.

He wasn’t yours to love, to have. He had said those words to you, “I’m not for you to love, or to be with. I’m sorry, but I can’t keep playing house anymore. This isn’t my life. You aren’t.”

His voice was cold, empty as he spoke. You couldn’t hide the hurt in your eyes, tears threatening to spill. “Then go.” It was all you were able to muster, standing in your apartment as he let himself out without another word.

He wanted to add it was because he loved you, but it felt cruel. He had to remind himself he wasn’t yours to love. Jason wasn’t for anyone.

And he believed his words, for weeks on end he told himself over and over again that he made the right decision. Threw himself into work and tried to burn you from his memory with violence and power. Jason ignored what headlines you might see—what you might think of him. He had never let himself care before, you told him what he did with that life was not for you to be apart of if he choose to keep you separate. You said it casually, with a shrug like Jason was supposed to know. Know that respect and privacy he could never ask from someone was being offered freely.

Jason supposed you’d keep your word, keep your distance from the bloody and chaotic side of his life despite him leaving you. You were good like that, honest and uncompromising when you needed to be. It made him smile despite the torrential downpour, knowing there was something good still in Gotham. Something—someone worth fighting for.

Yet, as something akin to peace washed over Jason, fate played its hand and it sent him reeling. A notification lit up his phone sitting on the kitchen table. It drew his attention away from the window he had been staring out of for a while, compelling him across the room and to read the two words that broke his heart.

I’m moving. A message you sent a minute ago, two words hanging in the ether that left Jason short of breath. He had already lost you, but this was like sand slipping through his fingers all while a tsunami rushed the shore. It made his stomach knot and guilt trickled into his chest like a steady stream. You couldn’t leave the city you had made a life in because of him. Because of the pain he caused you—no that grief, that guilt, would swallow him whole. Devour him till he was nothing, but bone to burn to ash one day.

Jason was out of his apartment in record time, not dawned in his suit, but enough tactical wear to hop across rainy rooftops safely. He ignored the chill of the rain that drenched him in mere minutes, he slicked his wet hair back and regretted his leather jacket as he landed an apartment over from yours. He huffed out a few breaths, calves flexing and whining from the amount of work he just put them through to get here. Jason steadied his breathing as best he could, grappling over the alleyway and to his surprise, landing right behind you. You were next to a small pigeon coop someone kept on the roof, the stretching piece of plywood was a makeshift roof you just fit under. You had a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the bottom corner wet with rain water likely from the puddles on the roof.

He let out a sigh that caught your attention. You glanced over your shoulder before your face fell. Your phone was still in your hands and Jason wondered if you texted him because you were up here. Staring out into the city and thinking of him as he was you. “You’re moving.” He found himself saying, more accusatory than he intended, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when desperation wafted off of him in waves.

“Yeah, I just…can’t with this city anymore.” You turned fully, you had never looked so small before. So withered and tired. You look like you had been crying recently and Jason’s resolved weakened. He assured himself that cutting you out of his life was right, to save you pain in the long run, but the pain you wore so clearly now was a gut punch. It was wrenching and Jason didn’t know what to say to fix anything.

“When?” He asked instead.

“Not sure, Im gonna stay with a friend in another city for a bit before I figure everything out. Think I have someone to take over my lease so…” The idea of someone else living here made his head spin. This space was an extension of you—he could see your interest in what you hung up on your walls, your love in the plants littered around the space, your happiness in the smell of food mixing with the candles you burned and even your old grumpy cat belonged to this space as much as you did. It was one of the only places in Gotham Jason could…breathe. Think or not think and he was losing that and you—

“No.” He gritted through his teeth.

“No?” That wasn’t meant for your ears, he was trying to silence his own thoughts. He cursed to himself and turned away from you, rain soaking his face as his only then remembered it was pouring. “Maybe I shouldn’t have sent you that text…I think I knew you’d show up here—I’m sorr—“

“No.” This time it was for you, even if he still refused to face you, let you see the regret plain on his face. “I don’t want you to leave Gotham like this…not because of me.”

“I know, and I wish I could stay, but Jay its too hard. Being here and trying to move on is killing me.” You were calm, calmer than he anticipated. He wanted anger, he wanted you to throw his words in your face, scold him for showing up when he was the one that forced you away. And yet, you tried to apologize and were being honest with him.

“I wouldn’t ask you to stay, but I’m sorry for how I ended things. You don’t—didn’t—deserve any of this.” Jason was never one to admit his wrongs, but this was the end of something that meant everything to him once. He couldn’t let you go with resentment between you two. You let a beat of silence pass, eyes fallen to the ground between your bodies as you processed his words. Your brows pulled together and you took a step closer to him. You weren’t out in the rain yet, but stood close enough to the edge to make sure your words hit him clearly.

“What did you mean by that? Didn’t deserve…what? What we had before? Didn’t deserve a good relationship? Didn’t deserve to be happy? I know I don’t deserve how you’ve treated me since, like I never existed, but what didn’t I deserve before? You?” Your tone was jaded, it wasn’t angry, but hurt. It made the knot in his stomach twist, his heart wrenching at the thought of you undeserving of good things. It was all you deserved, it was all he wanted for you.

Jason whipped around as he spoke, breathless before the words even left his mouth, “You didn’t deserve to be in a barely real relationship. I can’t be the person you deserve to be with, I can’t offer that much of myself to you.”

Another beat, you hovered by the edge of the makeshift roof, before letting you blanket slip off your shoulders behind you. You stepped into the rain and took him in properly, soaked from head to toe, but Jason was still bathed beautifully in the moon and streetlights that barely touched buildings this high.

“I knew all of that, I knew it wouldn’t always be normal, but I accepted it Jay. I chose to look past the parts of your life you didn’t want to share, because I didn’t care. I still don’t. What we had was a real relationship Jason, to me at least, and I didn’t even think anything was wrong when you broke up with me. I thought it was actually great, for what we were working with.” You laughed at the end, watery, but your voice stayed strong. You meant what you said, Jason blindsided you more when he left you than with his Red Hood confession. His admittance to the double life he lead was a blow, but one you could digest. Jason leaving you? It was a grenade set off from within your ribcage that left no survivors. It was pain beyond grappling with the violence that surrounded the man you loved.

“But that isn’t fair to you. I can’t give you everything, but I know I’ll take everything you can give. You get half a person and—“

“I make that choice, not you. I’ll take half a person if its you. I’ve always known I’ll love you more, be able to give you more because I’m sharing you with a city hellbent on destroying itself. When you’re the only person I want to share anything with, of course you can have it all.” He was silent, staring into the dark skies and wondering what he did to deserve you. Had he suffered enough that it was finally time to enjoy the peace?

You put your hand on his arm, urging him to look. He let his eyes meet yours reluctantly as you sniffled. “I don’t need what you think is real Jason. I just need you.” Your voice was a soft plea, fingers tightening around his leather jacket. He stared down at you, so much ache in his chest for ever thinking life made more sense without you there. He wanted to apologize, again and again until his voice went hoarse. He wanted to fall into your arms and sleep for days after weeks of restless nights. He wanted to cook your favourite meals you always said never tasted as good when you did it. He wanted to forgive and be forgiven for all the hurt swirling between the two of you.

But all he could manage was a plea of his own, almost drowned out by the spring rain that washed away the cold weeks you both spent unbearably lonely, “Don’t leave Gotham.”

You nodded, “Don’t give me a reason too.”

The knot churning inside his stomach disappeared with your soft words, making him breathe out a laugh. It was surprised, relieved and everything you needed to hear. A smile broke over your face and the tears brimming in your eyes finally spilled over as you closed the distance between you two. Your hands rested on the lapels of his jacket. He let his cradle your jaw as the rain engulfed you both, foreheads pressing together as the moment overtook you two. It felt like a dream, like everything Jason wanted was suddenly in the palm of his hands and he couldn’t believe it. Believe he had let you go and somehow managed to get you back. He couldn’t decide what you deserved, but god he’d try be the person you needed him to be.

He wanted to say that, promise you he’ll try, but words failed him at times like this. Jason was all need, desperate for you to understand how much he loved you. All he could do was act, fingers tightening and tilting your head up before his mouth crashed into yours. It was hungry and pleading, begging and convincing you to stay with him forever. To know his love forever. You kissed him back with as much urgency as you could muster, just as desperate for his touch as he was yours. It was deprave how you both nearly crumbled when his teeth tasted your bottom lip. You hands had slid under his jacket, pulling you flush against him as your fingers fisted the dry fabric against his spine. He shuddered into you, pulling away with a heaving chest. You rested your chin on his sternum, blinking up at him with happy tears still overflowing. He brought this thumbs to the corners of your eyes, brushing them away before kissing you again.

His lips met yours slower this time, mending the harshness from his last kiss. It was just as needy, lips finding the corners of your mouth, cheeks and jaw before he found his way back to your mouth. Jason’s tongue swiped over your lips, one of his hands moved to cradle the curve of your skull, letting your head fall back as he left open mouthed kissed against yours. Your tongue slid over his and you wished you were in bed. Sat comfortably atop him and making out on some boring Tuesday afternoon. It was always those moments, those days when everyone else was consumed with jobs and school and life, where you and Jason flourished.

Or embracing on a rooftop, in the pouring rain, during the dead of night, while everyone slept.

It was moments where you fell into the corners of life, missed by the bustle of the city and enraptured by each other. It was all you ever needed from Jason, and he was ready to give.

—

Gonna stay humbled to this rock

Silently when I know that I belong

Tell me stay on the right track

You know I got faith and beliefs

In my life and just

I guess I wanted that much

Yesterday I fell out of grace

I made you feel bad again

I wanted all your reasons explained

Guess I wanted too much

Ghost of Love - Marie Fisker

#wrote this in notes so b kind abt grammar n such #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #dc x reader #dc imagine #writing

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cummin-n-cryin · 1 year

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Hi! I'd like to be called 🎂 anon if that's okay.

Here's my request. Could I request Vil and Rook with a pâtissier s/o in a poly relationship?

~Thank you for your request!

The Pâtissier!

Vil x Rook x gn!reader

Tw: polyamory

Wordcount: 468

Side Note: Of course you can be 🎂 anon! Idk if your still here but sry this took me so long! I apologize that this is quite short but I really didn't have too many ideas for this. I'm sorry if this didn't turn out well!

A pâtissier?

Well…

Vil and Rook have very different but also very similar ways of expressing their love for you and that includes the way they express their feelings about you being a pâtissier.

Rook will freely compliment your work. He endlessly tells you about how everything you make is a work of art. He especially loves to watch you work! He finds inspiration in the way your hands move and the way you look when you're so focused on getting everything just right.

If you're looking for another person who will give you genuine feedback on your work but won't go on an endless spiel of how beautiful your work is, Vil is your guy. He can be a bit harsh without realizing it sometimes but at least you can rest assured that when he does compliment your work he genuinely means it.

There are times where no matter how hard you try to make something it just never comes out right and Rook will always be the first to encourage you to keep trying. He'll remind you that making these pastries and cakes is no easy feat and you shouldn't ever be too hard on yourself. Rook may even help you figure out what you're doing wrong. He may not be a pâtissier himself but he knows a few things and even though some of his ideas may be a bit… odd, they just might work.

Of course, after spending so much time baking you'll want someone to try it! Rook will gladly try anything you make. While Rook himself may not be an expert cook or anything, he knows when something is made well and he has quite a refined palate. He'll give you constructive criticism on how you could improve the look and flavor so that one day you may blow him away with how beautiful your creations taste!

I think it's obvious to anyone that Vil also has a taste for luxury however, Vil won't be so quick to try your creations. It's not out of any kind of disrespect but more so because of his strict diet. Sometimes he'll try it but most of the time he'll decline. Vil is a lot better at critiquing the visual appearance of your creations. They say that people eat with their eyes first and wow, does Vil know how to make something visually appealing!

Both Vil and Rook are quite creative. Rook is a little more out there in his ideas though. They can both greatly help you come up with ideas you may have never considered or even thought of.

They both love you and what you do. Whether your works are a success or a fail, as long as you keep doing what you're passionate about they'll always be there to support you!

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #🎂anon

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goldenhypen · 2 years

Text

❣︎ ⎯⎯ moving in .

PAIRING ! yang jungwon x reader // GENRE ! domestic fluff // WC. ! 0.6k

PROMPT(S) ! 8. embracing them from behind ;; 18. putting a blanket on them ;; 20. making them food they like // requested by two lovely anons <3 // 2k followers event

A/N. ! and another one is posted 🤩 ,,,, also this isn’t proofread sorry sjdjdjd

��hi,” jungwon said softly beside your head as he wrapped his arms around your form from behind.

you two had just moved in together, and after a long day of moving heavy boxes, unpacking and organizing your belongings, your felt body slowly grew weaker and you heard your stomach growl. so as jungwon continued unpacking, you had slipped yourself out of the room and into the kitchen to make one of your and jungwon’s comfort foods, since you knew you both could use an energy boost at this time.

“what are you up to?” he asked, watching your hands work from over your shoulder, now resting his head on the side of yours.

“making our favourite,” you told him, a soft smile growing on both your and jungwon’s lips.

“can’t wait,” he said before placing a loving kiss on your cheek.

“wanna grab me some bowls? it’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

jungwon nodded at your request before quickly taking some bowls he had unpacked an hour ago from the cabinet, placing them near you on the counter.

“there you go,” he said, wrapping a quick arm around your waist and placing one more kiss on your cheek, causing you to smile before he let go and took a step and leaned his body on the counter to watch you from the side.

his eyes were filled with awe and his heart exploded with love for you that he couldn’t help but smile.

“what’s that grin for?” you asked amusingly.

“i just can’t believe we’re finally living together. we’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, and the time has finally come. it just feels so surreal and exciting. i get to be here, with the love of my life, and i’ll get to go to sleep tonight with you by my side and dream about you, all to wake up to that beautiful face in the morning. and i’ll get to do that every single day.”

“won,” you pouted sweetly, turning to him and walking over, immediately placing your lips on his.

at first he was slightly taken aback, but as you placed your chest on his and wrapped your hands around his neck, quickly, he relaxed from underneath you and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing you back.

after many long seconds, you pulled back with a smile, and you found jungwon’s eyes in almost a daze, staring at your lips.

“food is ready, by the way,” you told him, pulling away, leaving him desperate for more before he blinked a couple times and stood up straight, grabbing the bowls of food so you wouldn’t have to and quickly brought it to the small coffee table that was newly placed in what was soon to be your living room.

you two sat yourselves closely on the couch, and jungwon quickly and excitedly dug in and let out a satisfied sound once the food hit his tongue.

he let out a sigh and looked at you, “i love you.”

you let out a small chuckle and placed a kiss on his lips.

“mmm–are you cold?” he asked, somehow able to feel the coolness from the touch of your lips on his.

“a little,” you answered, and he quickly got up, finding a blanket for you before hurrying back and placing it over your thighs.

he picked up a bowl and turned to you, feeding you to which you also let out a satisfied hum.

as he took a spoonful himself, you rested your head on his shoulder.

if this is what living with jungwon every day was going to be like, you would’ve moved in together so much earlier. you couldn’t wait for what was in store for your and jungwon’s future.

A/N. hope you enjoyed ^_^ interactions and feedback are always appreciated <3 thanks for reading <3

2K EVENT MASTERLIST.

TAGLIST FORM.

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natsglorifiedsimp · 2 years

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Could I make a request where a few months after Natasha gets her daughter (5yo) back from the red room (bio daughter who she had in the red room) she decides to bring her daughter shopping to get new clothes, and when she turns around one second reader is gone.

She’s panicked and thinks the red room or Hydra top reader again

(While in reality we just mistook some other short redhead for Nat)

She looks all over the mall and eventually she finds us and we’re both crying at this point

Wrong redhead

A/n: I'm sorry this took long hehe but thank you for your request anon, here it is <3

English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there are mistakes. My ask is open for your feedback and corrections.

Please be kind to my ask inbox :>

To those who want to be added to my tag lists. Simply message me or put an ask or comment and I will add you :>

Taglist: @youralphawolf72 @madelineleong @diaryoflife @xxromanoffxx @lissaaaa145 @fxckmiup @mmmmokdok @sayah13 @karmasgxrl @meurgen @simp-erformarvelwomen @lilaswidowspark @snowdrop1026 @ravensinthedaylight @karsonromanoff @aesthelicca

"Oooooo, we going shopping mama?" you squealed, jumping up and down in your tutu that she put on.

"Yes, honey. We are." she smiled, admiring both your giddiness and the outfit she put on. You looked absolutely adorable.

"Up, up!" you put your arms up and wiggle your fingers. She picked you up making sure your tutu wouldn't be in her arm's way.

While on the ride you managed to stay calm even though you were bubbling with excitement. This was your first time in a mall. It was also your first time having to witness different people interacting with each other aside from the team.

Your mother hasn't really taken you out since she got you back from the red room. She wanted to stay low for a while and to be careful in case the red room decided take you again.

Every day she was on high alert. No matter how much she thinks you are safe in the compound, she would still call F.R.I.D.A.Y every 30 minutes just to check up on you.

But today she decided she wanted to relax and give you a new environment that would help you socialize more. She wanted you to be a child and have fun.

---

You didn't know a mall could be this big. Bigger than Uncle Tony's closet. It was big BIG. You couldn't help but wonder how these people could walk around chasing errands when you know they would have sore feet afterward.

Your eyes were everywhere. Soaking all the different people and places you could see in the mall.

Natasha could see the happiness radiating from your eyes. She could tell it was a good thing she went shopping with you.

Natasha picked you up and led you to the clothing station so you guys could pick new outfits that you need. Cause your closet needs a little upgrade.

You started to wander around the stall and examined the clothes that were neatly folded.

"You can touch them, honey. You can get what you think is nice for you to wear." Natasha said, sensing your hesitation.

You looked up to your mom with doe eyes, still seeking her second approval and she nodded in response.

You immediately ran and picked the matching unicorn pajamas that you find cute earlier and picked them up. You also went and examined another set of cute ones and when you don't like it you neatly fold it back how you took it.

You took your time picking out what you liked and ended up picking 4 matching pajamas. Looking up you saw your mom walking to another station and you panicked and ran in her direction not wanting to be left behind.

You followed her around the clothing station and never picked up another set of clothes you wanted to cause you were afraid that she won't allow you to buy more than the 4 PJs you picked out.

Walking past another stall you saw a Black Widow shirt that your mom's face was in.

You tugged the redhead, "Mama! Look! It's you," you looked up to see a different short red-headed woman who was as confused as you.

"You're not mama," you said.

Before the girl could say anything you ran back to the way you were before you followed the girl. At your height and your age, you had a hard time looking for the stall you were in before you followed the wrong redhead. Everything to your point of view looks the same.

Meanwhile, your mom on the other hand was now distressed because you weren't in the place where she last saw you, which is just literally next stall from her.

She couldn't understand how she could miss you being taken or left when she could see you from her peripheral vision.

Her mind races from one idea to another. Maybe you just got lost or maybe you got taken by Hydra again and she will never see you back.

She lowered her head to every stall maybe you were just hiding somewhere. Maybe you thought you guys were playing hide and seek.

While speed walking and whipping her head everywhere she bumped into a redheaded woman and immediately said profanities of apologies.

"I'm really sorry but have you seen a kid? About this height, redheaded, and wearing a tutu?" Natasha asked.

"Are you her mom? She tugged my shirt earlier and thought I was you. I was about to help her but she ran away" the girl explained.

Natasha sighed in relief. That means you were still here just lost.

"Do you know which direction she ran?" she asked again.

After saying thank you to the girl she immediately sprang and looked for you.

"Y/n!" she whisper shouted. "Where are you?"

After scanning every stall for a good 20 minutes she finally saw you on a bench crying and fiddling with your fingers.

Natassha sighed in relief, "There you are"

"I was looking for you everywhere"

You whipped your head to the sound of your mom's voice and you immediately ran up to her and engage her in a hug.

You tighten your hold on her legs and cried. You didn't know how much new place and new people could be this overwhelming. And without your mama, you didn't know what to do in an unfamiliar place like this.

"I wanna go home" you sobbed. Natasha picked you up and gave you a good look.

"It's okay, y/n. I'm here" she ran her hands through your hair. "Next time make sure you're with mama okay?"

"Mhm," you mumbled. "Home" you sniffled.

"I know, baby. But we gotta pay for these and your PJs" she assured. You were still sobbing in her arms not wanting to let go of her after what happened.

"Is this just what you wanted?" she asked. She knew you'd be shy to ask for more.

Your mind immediately remembered the shirt that has your mom's face in it. "Can we buy mama hero shirt?" you asked in between sniffles.

"Mama hero shirt?" she furrowed her eyebrows not knowing what you meant.

"Mhm," you mumbled again.

"Oh, this one" Natasha chuckled seeing her face in a shirt.

"Can we buy that mama? Please?" all your tears were gone all of a sudden and you smiled giddily seeing the shirt in her hands.

"Anything else?"

"Ice cream"

#black widow #mcu #natasha marvel #natasha romonova #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha alianovna romanova #natasha x daughter!reader #mama up #mama nat #mama scarlett #natasha x teen reader #natasha's kid #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff

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halsteadlover · 2 years

Text

The Beginning

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested by anon: HI! How are you? I love your works! I'm not a native speaker and your writing help me to improve my English. So thanks a lot! Can I make a request? I read your "Life with Jay Halstead" and I really liked this particular sentence "he was nervous when he asked you for the very first time to go on a date with him". Can you write a fic of this? The moment of asking and the actual date? Thank you so much, and sorry for my English! Happy new year! Bye!

• Warning: just few curse words.

• Word count: 4585.

• A/N: hi everyone! Guess who's back with another piece of shit 😍 I know nobody cares but I'm so sorry I just disappeared, it's been a quite hectid period, but from now on I'll try to write as many as possible. So this is part 1 of two. I decided to divide this piece because it was too long and I know nobody wanted to read a long ass piece of +10k words 💀. So let me know what do you think, your feedback is really important to me and like, reblog and follow me if you want. I hope you'll like this piece, I love you all! Xx

Jay Halstead had completely lost his mind for you.

What was initially a simple crush, was becoming over time much, much more and Jay, with each day that passed, he realized more and more he was less and less able to manage and hide it.

Jay had met you about a year ago when you were hired to work as a waitress at Molly’s. He had first seen you one evening after his shift at the police station. He remembered that moment as if it had only happened a short time ago.

It was hot at hell that night and Jay had no desire to go out for a drink with his colleagues, just wanting to go back to his house, take a shower and sleep. That shift was tough enough, at which they all decided a drink would certainly improve the situation a bit so, under insistence, Jay found himself accepting the invitation.

When he entered Molly’s, he had immediately noticed how crowded that evening was and this made him breathe a frustrated sigh, wishing that evening would end as soon as possible.

He looked around him bored, sitting with his arms folded to his chest and leaning on the back of the chair while he did nothing but think about how much he wanted to get up and leave. There were people who lovingly cherish, people who laughed and joked, there were couples of sweethearts who looked at each other with love as they sipped from their drinks.

“What about you Halstead?”.

“Mmh? What?” Jay asked, turning his gaze to his interlocutor, with an expression completely bored and neutral.

“God, it looks like you’re at a funeral,” Adam joked, “I asked what do you want to drink. There are a lot of people tonight, I don’t think any waitresses will arrive soon.”

Jay thought about it for a few seconds and was about to answer when he was interrupted by Kim’s voice who said, “Ah here! A waitress is coming, guys.”

When Jay looked up, he saw you approach his table with a brisk pace but being careful not to bump into anyone. He looked at you insistently, almost studying you, while he tried to make up his mind if he had ever seen you before.

But no, he was sure he had never met you, damn it, he wouldn’t be able to forget a woman like you if he had seen you before. He thought you had probably just started working at Molly’s, since he was a regular customer of the bar and he had never met you before that evening.

“Good evening!” you greeted, looking at each person on that table “What can I bring you?”.

The smile that formed on your lips was like a sudden beam of sunlight that illuminated the darkest corners of that bar. It was broad and enthusiastic, full of joy even if the slight dark circles that surrounded your eyes marked your tiredness. But you were beautiful, the most beautiful woman Jay had ever seen.

Your eyes were dazzling, magnetic, radiant and sparkled like two stars in the darkest sky.

He looked at you mesmerized as you took the notepad and the pen from the pocket of your apron and as you began to write all the various orders. He looked at the way you were focused while you scribbled on that little notebook and his eyes took advantage of this to trace every corner of your face, the curve of your nose, your lips, your cheeks. Every single inch of skin on your face was studied by his attentive, alert and interested eyes. There was a small lamp right above the table where he was sitting that emanated a dim light that directly illuminated your face and, fuck it, you looked like an angel fallen straight from heaven.

Jay suddenly felt an elbow at his left side, which made him jump on the spot and awaken from his daydream. You.

He snapped his head at Adam, glaring at him, quickly realizing how everyone at that table was grinning and laughing under their mustaches.

“She asked you what do you want to drink. Have you gone deaf Halstead?”.

Jay didn’t answer him but looked back at you, suddenly feeling a feeling of embarrassment take over as he noticed the way you looked at him, trying not to smile, or rather, not to laugh.

“Oh… Um… I’m sorry, I was lost in my mind…-” Jay mumbled, scratching the back of his neck with embarrassment. He looked down for a moment, feeling his cheeks heat up and no longer able to bear the intensity with which your eyes looked at him. God what was happening to him?

“Don’t worry, take your time, I’m here. I can pass soon if you want…-” you replied, with a friendly and understanding smile on your lips, trying not to make him feel further embarrassed. His friends were laughing at that point, never having seen Jay so nervous in front of a woman.

Jay returned his eyes to yours, slightly shaking his head. “No, no. I would like a beer if possible, thank you.”

”Any beers in particular?”.

He shook his head again, suddenly feeling even his sweaty hands. “No, you choose for me, any type will do.”

You wrote the last order you were missing on the notepad and then set your eyes on Jay again, who did not take his eyes off you even for a second.

“Can I get you something else?” you asked cordially.

“No, thank you,” almost all of them answered in chorus.

“I’ll come back as soon as possible”.

Jay followed you with his eyes as you walked away from the table and disappeared into the crowd, looking at your body carefully from head to toe, without sparing even an inch. You wore a plain T-shirt and a pair of black jeans and for some odd reason you were more beautiful than all the dressed and made up women in that bar.

The counter was not visible so seeing you was almost impossible and unwittingly Jay found himself hoping the order would arrive as soon as possible.

“Who is she?” he asked his friends, his eyes wandering around the bar as he hoped to see you again.

“I don't know,” Antonio replied. “She have certainly started working here recently.”

“Our little Halstead was so embarrassed,” Kim teased, laughing with the rest of the group.

“Right! I had never seen you like this, since when did Detective Halstead become so shy in front of women?” Hailey continued, laughing at the way Jay rolled his eyes in frustration.

“I wasn't shy or nervous or embarrassed. Quit this bullshit,” he snapped, continuing to look around.

The others continued to tease him but he completely shut down his brain and stopped listening to them. He kept looking around, hoping to see you appear again in the crowd sooner or later.

Who were you? What was your name?

Jay had the inexorable desire to know more about you, to talk to you, and the same instant he saw you reappear with the tray with drinks in hand, he mentally thanked his colleagues for insisting that he to go to Molly's.

“Here you are guys, sorry for keeping you waiting,” you announced as soon as you approached the table, setting the tray down for a moment and starting to distribute the various drinks. “And for you, here's your beer”.

You took the beer Jay had ordered and started handing it to him, but the instant you were about to do so he too held out his hand and as you did, your hands brushed. It was a small contact, almost non-existent, but it was enough for both of us to unleash that blush on your goths.

“T-thank you very much,” Jay almost stammered, cursing himself at the same instant it happened.

“Don’t mention it. Let me know if you need anything else. Enjoy your evening,” you replied with a smile on your face, before throwing one last look at Jay, taking the tray under his arm and walking away from the table after everyone thanked you.

That night was hectic, so much Jay didn't see you sitting even once. He continued to watch you from afar, the way you paced back and forth between tables, taking orders left and right. He noticed the way you never stopped smiling and being friendly to customers, even though you were visibly tired and exhausted.

“Do you want something else to drink?” Jay asks suddenly, turning to his friends.

“Not for now...” they replied and, without even waiting for them to finish the sentence, he got up and walked towards the counter, intending to order another beer. He sat on the stool, waiting for someone to take his order, and by someone he meant you.

He looked around, waiting almost a good 5 minutes before you approached him.

“Hey, what can I do for you?” you asked when you approached Jay. He felt the palms of his hands sweat again and for a moment he even thought about getting up and going back to his place. But he couldn't, he wanted to talk to you, he wanted to know at least your name. You smiled at him and he forgot even the phrase he had already formulated in his mind.

“I just wanted another beer,” he replied, clearing his throat and wiping his palms on his jeans. It had to be a pitiful sight, god. “And possibly your name too.”

What the fuck? Where did this come from?

Jay thought for a moment he was about to get an insult in response but instead you burst out laughing, making him mentally breathe a sigh of relief.

God, what a fucking idiot.

But it was worth it, shit, the sound of your laugh was something so magnificent and sweet, it almost seemed to have eliminated all the sounds and noises that were in that bar. Jay tried to hold back the smirk that tried to appear on his face as he watched you closely.

“You have a name, don't you?”.

“I don't think knowing my name is essential,” you replied with the same joking tone, “Do you want the same beer?”

“Actually no, I've changed my mind. I'd like a cocktail now.”

“Of course, what would you like?”.

“Surprise me.”

Actually Jay didn't even want a cocktail, he just wanted to stay as close to the counter as possible to talk to you.

“So? Aren't you going to tell me your name?”.

Jay rested his elbows on the counter, leaning slightly forward as if to get even closer to you. He didn't stop looking at you even for a second and even if at that moment he had to bite his tongue to keep quiet and not say anything that might scare you away, he realized the incredible attraction he felt towards you.

You threw him an amused look as you began to take all the ingredients to make the cocktail. You looked into each other's eyes for a moment and Jay couldn't help but notice the way they glowed in the dim light of that bar. “Why do you insist on knowing my name?”

Jay shrugged with feigned nonchalance. “I like knowing who I'm talking to.”

“We're not talking in fact, I'm serving a customer.”

Jay pretended not to be touched by these words and instead chuckled, while shifting his weight onto the stool. “Touché.”

He didn't know what else to say.

Fuck, he wanted to hit on you but for some reason he couldn't. He was not stupid, he knew that women liked him and for this reason he had never had problems with them, to hit on them when he liked someone, but in that moment, with you, he realized he didn’t know what to say because it was the first time he found himself in that situation. He was usually the one who intimidated women, and sometimes he liked that too, but finding himself in the reverse parts was something he didn't like at all.

“Do you always look at everyone in this creepy way?” you joked.

Jay blushed from head to toe and thanked god you weren't looking at him right now or it would’ve been very embarrassing. He looked away. “I'm sorry,” he chuckled “And no, I don't look creepy at anyone.”

“Hmm, I must be special then.”

Fuck.

“Here's the cocktail, let me know how it is,” you said, placing the glass on the counter and bringing it closer to Jay. He alternated his gaze between the drink and you was pleasantly surprised to notice the colors of the drink.

“It looks good.”

You leaned with your hands on the counter, your head tilted slightly to the side as you watched Jay taste the drink you made. The way you looked at him, with that little smile on your lips, almost made him spill the drink.

“Go ahead then.”

He took a sip and the expression of surprise that appeared on his face made you laugh. “What's up?”

“It's delicious!” he exclaimed in amazement, taking another long sip. It was all perfectly balanced, you could feel the alcohol but it wasn't enough to make you disgusted and the combination of sweet and bitter that was perceived gave the perfect touch to the drink. Jay had no idea what it was but it was probably one of the best drinks he'd ever had.

“You look surprised.”

He shook his head, giggling. “Not at all, it's really delicious.”

Jay finished his glass at the counter, as slowly as possible so that he could keep talking to you. He was surprised to realize that initial nervousness and embarrassment were almost gone, you managed a lot to calm him down. But that slight gut feeling was always there and the more you kept talking the more Jay felt pushed towards you.

He was attracted to you in a way that he didn't think possible since you knew each other alone for a couple of hours, but these were enough to understand he wanted to know you better, to know as much as possible about you.

The rest of the evening went on, and after that chat at the counter Jay no longer had the opportunity to talk to you, taken as you were from work. There were furtive glances from both of them, and it was impossible to deny it. Jay would glance at you from time to time as he talked to his friends and he was tempted to order even twenty more drinks just to have an excuse to talk to you, but the others stopped him, saying it would seem creepy and obsessive.

And that was the night he saw you for the first time, beautiful, radiant, exuberant. From the moment his eyes rested on you, he never forgot you. He didn't even know your name, but that didn't get you out of his mind, in fact, Jay was more and more determined to know you, he was so intrigued by you.

From the moment you met, he had not stopped for a moment to think about you, your eyes and it was for this reason from that evening, every evening, after every shift, he went to Molly's. It was just to see you, to talk to you.

At first he didn't know how to approach, not wanting to look like some kind of stalker so he just sat at the table, or at the counter, drinking the same beer and occasionally throwing a few furtive glances at you. He wanted to let you know he liked you but he didn't want to ruin everything, or worse to scare you off.

Those furtive glances gradually became short chats, in which you exchanged a few words, you told each other about your day. It was pleasant for both of us, it almost became a need, and over time, weeks, months, those little chats became deeper and deeper conversations in which you began to get to know each other better, to know something different from each other.

Jay had learned over time what your shifts were and started showing up there to keep you company, sometimes even to help you clean the bar and shut it down. You didn’t have a car so you sometimes took a taxi or, when the weather allowed it, you walked to your apartment. It became important for Jay to drive you home, unwittingly fearing that something might happen to you on the way home.

A beautiful friendship was born between you, you laughed, you joked together, you confided in each other but Jay was well aware his feeling was anything but friendship. He was completely bewitched by you and he realized it above all from the fact that his days were now surrounded by the thought of seeing you in the evening, he couldn’t wait to finish working just to visit you at Molly's. However, he didn’t know your thoughts about it, he didn’t know if you felt the same and therefore he didn’t want to risk in any way to ruin the beautiful relationship that had been created between you.

But, fuck, it was getting so hard for Jay to stand next to you and pretend nothing happened, that he didn't want to take you and kiss you until he lost his breath, pretend that every time he looked at you he didn't get lost in your eyes, that every time you he saw laughing and smiling his heart didn’t stop in his chest.

”Jay are you listening to us or not?”.

He raised his head from his cell phone, glaring at Antonio who had just called him. He and his team were all in the unit, but the shift was almost over so they were all debating what to do next.

“God Halstead you're totally screwed,” Kevin laughed. “You're smiling at that cell phone like a little girl.”

“I wonder who you're texting that got you smiling like that,” Adam continued, leaning against his desk and his arms crossed across his chest as he teased his friend.

Jay rolled his eyes, snorting and placing his cell phone in his trouser pocket, trying to get out of his mind the image of the selfie you sent him at work, your big eyes and your beautiful smile. He resumed working on the report he had in front of his desk, ignoring the rest of the team and the blush that was edging his cheeks.

Jay why don't you just ask her out? We can see a mile away you doting on her, only a blind man wouldn't notice,” Kim spoke, approaching Jay and speaking in a low voice so that only him could hear. She leaned against his desk while he let out a sigh instead.

“I don't like her and I'm not crazy about her,” he mumbled, not even looking Kim in her eyes.

She giggled. “Oh come on, don't lie to me or to yourself, we all know here that's not the case. Just ask her out, what are you waiting for?”.

“I'm afraid of ruining everything, what if she doesn't feel the same?”.

“Jay you are a great detective but you are so stupid sometimes. Obviously she likes you, how is it possible that we all see it except you two?”.

“But she never gave me any signals...”

“Jay, she’s just waiting for you to make the first move before jumping in, I see the way she looks at you, she's smitten with you too. I'm sure she thinks the same things you think but we're girls, we want you guys to make the first move because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves or get ourselves hurt.”

“What if she says no?”.

“Then you’ll have no regrets and you’ll know you really tried but I’ll bet my badge she’ll say yes if you ask her out.”

Jay kept thinking of Kim's words as he drove to Molly's and throughout the evening. He knew she was right but he was so scared of losing you that he rather he preferred to be just your friend.

“Halstead you okay?” you asked, placing the beer bottle in front of him and noticing the way Jay kept staring into space. He seemed thoughtful, absent, didn't laugh like he usually did, didn't joke.

“Oh... Sorry... Sure, I'm fine,” he replied, giving you a shy look “Thanks by the way,” he continued, grabbing the beer and taking a sip.

God, since when was I'm so nervous?

His stomach kept twisting in on itself and he’d even punch himself, no matter how idiotic it seemed.

“Mmh, I'm not a detective but I don't think you're okay at all,“ you replied, wiping the counter with a wet cloth “C'mon, you know you can talk to me about everything, you can tell me if something upsets you.”

Jay took a deep breath and after a moment that seemed like an eternity, he made up his mind and took the courage to ask you. But when he looked up and looked you in your fucking eyes, all that courage vanished into thin air, like a breath in the wind.

“I... I have to go,” he stammered frenziedly, suddenly letting himself be seized by total panic. Without even giving you a chance to answer, he got up from his stool - making sure he was leaving the beer money on the counter - and walked out of the bar at lightning speed.

“Jay, wait!” you exclaimed and were about to follow him when you heard Hermann calling you from the warehouse so you were forced to go, with only the question in mind what the hell had happened.

Jay cursed himself with fiber of his being for being so coward, for running away like that and without giving any kind of explanation. When he read your message asking him if he was okay and at least answer you, he let out a loud, frustrated snort.

He punched the wheel of his car, resting his forehead on it as he contemplated whether to leave and never go to Molly's again and thus disappear from the face of the earth, or whether to be a man and grow some balls.

When your shift was over Jay found himself in front of the bar again, but did not enter, waiting for you with his arms crossed over his chest and leaning against his car. He took the opportunity to take a walk to clear his head and in that moment he was more determined than ever to do it, to ask you out.

Seeing you leave the bar he couldn't help but think about how beautiful you were, with that tired and frowning expression. He tried not to get caught up in despair when you didn't look at him with your brilliant smile, which you used to give him every time you saw him.

“Y/N, wait!” Jay exclaimed when he noticed you were walking away, not even saying goodbye. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have left like that. Please stop!”.

“No Jay, that's not how you behave! You got me worried to death! You could’ve at least answer me and let me know that everything was fine, I would’ve understand. But you can't get up like that and leave without saying a word!” you blurted out stopping for a moment and looking at him, and Jay almost wanted to punch himself for thinking about how beautiful and sexy you were also angry.

“Were you worried about me?” he asked with a stupid expression on his face, to which you didn't even answer him and started walking again.

“No, no, no, please don't go,” he gently grabbed your arm and you stopped, looking first at Jay's hand around your arm and then at his face. He immediately let go of your arm and took a deep breath before speaking. “Listen to me, I'm so sorry, you're right, I shouldn't have left like that and above all without giving any explanation. I'm sorry I made you worry, but I needed time to think.”

“Think about what?”

Jay took a deep breath again, fiddling with his fingers as he tried to find the right words to ask you.

Now or never.

“Wel... I ... Er-…”

“Jay are you sure you're okay? You look really nervous.”

You are making me nervous.

“Y/N I... I have to tell you something...”

“Sure, you know you can tell me everything.”

“Fuck,” he let out, turning around for a moment and running his hands over his face in frustration. You positioned yourself in front of him, gently removing your hands from his face and looking into his eyes.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”.

“I hate you, you know that?” Jay blurted out, breaking your heart. You took a step back. “What? Why? What have I done? Did I do something bad? I'm sorry if…-” you stammered but he made you stop by covering your mouth with his hand.

“That's exactly why I hate you, because you talk so much, you are always so promising to apologize so as not to hurt the next one, you are always so kind and unselfish, but also so stubborn, so clumsy that I even wonder how it is possible how you’re a waitress, and I hate you because you fucked my brain up, because since I fucking met you I can't stop thinking about you, your eyes and your goddamn smile. You're making me stupid with your way of doing things, you literally drive me crazy Y/N and I really can't pretend nothing’s happening anymore, I can't be closer to you without having the inexorable desire to kiss and hug you…-” Jay seemed now a river in flood and the speech he had prepared was useless, he was now just saying everything that was going through his head, “I'm sorry for the way I'm telling you this, I'm sure you didn't expect it,” he continued, noticing the shock with which you were looking at him, eyes and mouth open wide, “But I really can't take it anymore, I want you, more than I’ve ever wanted any other person in the world and this thing has been devouring me inside since I first saw you in this damn bar. I... Fuck... You make me feel so nervous Y/N, like no one has done before, I don't know how to act when I'm with you... I wanted... Well… Today I wanted to ask you to go out with me, for a date but I looked at you and, shit, you screwed my brain and I didn't know how to ask you anymore, but yeah… All this was to ask you to give me the honor of taking you out on a date with me.”

When you didn't answer right away, Jay thought he screwed everything up.

God please. Shit, say something.

You kept looking at him with a completely shocked expression and Jay didn't blame you, so he waited for a few moments, giving you time to process what he had just told you, but the more silence loomed, the more panic took over him.

“Listen Y/N… Forget everything I said, let’s just remain friends as before. I'm so sorry,” he muttered in defeat, heartbroken. He started to walk away but stopped when you grabbed his hand with yours, your touch sending a shiver down his spine.

“Pick me up tomorrow at 8.”

Part 2 here →

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rose-likesto-write · 2 years

Text

You matter the most..

Pairing: Winner's Song Min Ho x reader (gender neutral)

Genre: Fluff, cringest fluff

AU!: Idol member, established relationship

Warning: mention of cardiac arrest (once), bullying (mention of word)

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.3 K

A/N: Hey dear anon!! Thank you so much for requesting it!! I hope that you will like it and I am sorry if it wasn't something you wanted to read. Please it's a request to send me your valuable feedbacks, it genuinely means alot :)

Also this gif isn't mine..

Summary: Being in love is one feeling and your partner making you feel it day in and out is another..

'What is going on today? Why is everyone looking like this at me as if they are gonna open their mouth a blunder will occur' You thought while nibbling on the edge of your pen a habit which you developed as a result of being tensed.You didn't know what and why but you had this feeling as if it's important day for you but the there is as such no sign to confirm the day.

The whole day is weird, first all your colleagues are acting as if something has happened but they don't wanna tell you, your work bestie Gia had came up with a lame excuse which left you alone to do the project by yourself and that bully worker of yours nowhere to be present.

I mean, ofcourse you are happy that she isn't here because she terribly a pain in ass but like no matter what even if it's for one second you guys pass by you don't keep back from hurling a few sassy remarks.

She kinda hates you because she is delusional person and the reason you ask why? She came to know or rather saw who your boyfriend was which was none other than Song Min Ho aka Winner's Mino. (She was his die hard fan)

Mino is an angel in disguise in your life and you are always so so grateful and thankful that you have such a loving partner by your side. He is one of the live examples of duality, the way he speaks, his presence and aura gives the vibe of being powerful, strong headed but it's only you, his family, his friends and the fans who know his sweet and sensitive personality.

Now, speaking of Mino is that he wasn't able to talk you for the past two days but you didn't mind considering that he was currently in the foreign state preparing for a show at the moment.

Currently, it's 7 pm and you are almost through with the project just the final touches and rechecking of the final draft.You let a yawn escape before a knock came in on the door, "Please come in".

"Y/N, you may leave now and I know about the project as Gia already told me. Its okay, I will see to it. Have a great and happy birthday to you"Your boss said with a small smile before closing the door. "Okay, that's weird but today isn't my birthday. Its still 26th and my birthday is on 27th. Maybe he got confused. Anyways, let's go back!" You said to yourself before packing up and leaving the office.

Somehow, the happy birthday was running through your head but you didn't mind. It was almost quarter to 8 when you reached your apartment.On your way, you met your sweet neighbour an old lady in her mid 60s.

"Hello aunty. How are you? How is your health?" You said with a small smile."I am good darling. How are you doing? So, what's the plan for today? Are you going somewhere out?" She said while you gently shook your head. "I am okay but just tired considering I have to complete my project all alone and I don't have any plans."

"Why don't you have one? Its your special day today isn't it" She furrowed her eyebrows. "No, aunty I think you got confused but my birthday isn't today but tomorrow. Anyways, I will take your leave" with that you went towards your home.

While you were unlocking the door, your phone was vibrating. You took it out only to see the number of notifications coming up of 'updating the settings of phone'."You are troubling me alot for the past two days. Mino was right, I should have bought the new phone. Anyways let's get in".

As soon as you entered, the lights that were once off were switched on and song scream of 'Happy Birthday To You' was heard, giving you a good enough reason to have a cardiac arrest."OMG!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD J-"Happiest Birthday Dear!!" Your bestie Gia said with a smile and hugged you tightly followed by your family members. "I hope you loved your surprise!!!" Your parents said with huge smiles on their faces as your other friends and some office workers wished you. "So, that was why Gia you were giving me lame excuse and stuff but why my phone is show-

"We kinda might have done something in your phone though and especially it was already good as dead. It was perfect for us. We had to act crazy and inform almost all people as to not wish a birthday. Why did you think we came from the other route in morning?" Gia and your other friend Kiara said with mischievous smiles.

That's when it hit you as to why did your day seemed weird than before. You were all smiles but then you missed Mino, he wasn't here but at the same time he didn't even call you. Was he also part of the plan? Maybe so that your family can surprise you? You didn't know the answer.

"Thank you everyone! It means a lot. I s-"Nah dear! One major surprise is still left!!!" Your dad said with a small smile. "What is it dad?" You said with a confused look."

You remember how much you were crying and saying that we should shift near in your area or close by?" You had a big smile on your face, "OMG!!! Are you coming.. no, no wait ! Did you already shift in here?""Nah, baby. We still need a few months but we have this two surprises for you!!" Your dad said and shifted slightly enough to make some space for someone to fit in.

That's when he came with a gift in his hand. "Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday to you~ Happy Birthday... Happy Birthday.. Happy Birthday to you~"Your boyfriend Mino came and you ran to him like a mad person. "Mino!!!!" You slightly started crying.

"Happy Birthday my love!!! I love you so much.. I am sorry that I didn't wish you. Me and your family had planned this small surprise but just like dad said that we have some surprises for you, do you wanna see them?"You excitedly nodded your head. "Okay, here we go!" He ruffled your hair. "Okay this is the present from mom and dad!! One of the surprises my bad" opening the top a cute little golden retriever was peaking its head out. "Oh, my god!! Thank you so much!!" You gently hugged the puppy and started kissing it and in return you earned alot of licks.

"Haha, you are do cute. Mino? Where is the other su-A gasp left from your mouth as now Mino was kneeling down with a beautiful diamond ring showcasing its glory was resting in the black box.

"Y/N Y/L/N!!! Its been almost 4 years since we have started dating. We went through all sorts of ups and downs, created alot of beautiful memories, had our own share of fair fights and arguments, have clicked a tons of terrible and embarrassing pictures and have stories. I don't wanna stop this here or maybe in future. I wanna continue this to till our last breath with our own little family. So, my small request is that accept me your beloved husband. Will you marry me?"Tears again started to threaten from your eyes while your parents and friends were hyping up you to say yes.

"Ofcourse, it's a yes Song Min Ho" you brokedown and he gently slipped the ring before kissing your crown. "Your happiness matters to me and I always wanted to be your happiness! You are my everything!!! You matter the most".

28 notes · View notes

cheriemorte · 2 years

Note

God, finally! Hi Cherie, I've recently found your wincest fics and I'M IN LOVE. Read every one of them and loved them all. My favs are 'Behold a pale horse', 'Kicks like a sleep twitch', and 'List of typos made by god'. All ur fics are awesome and I especially love all the AUs of the seasons you wrote. I tried finding any of ur social media handles and found ur tumblr atleast, finally. You write angst soooooooo good and I'm a sucker for it. I cried reading all ur AU fics. Especially the 3 mentioned above. You captured the devastation and codependency of the brothers so perfectly. I can't thank you enough for writing all those fics and I really really hope you write more wincest. I've read a lot of wincest fics in the past 6-8 months since I finished the show and I have to say, that you're my most favourite wincest author. Sorry for blabbering too much, I'm one step away from asking u to marry me😂. Again, thanks so much for writing everything u wrote. I'm so glad I found ur fics. Have a good day! All the love❤️.

Hellllooooooo beautiful anon! *wraps myself around you and rubs my face on you and purrs*

Thank you so much for this incredibly sweet message. The fandom is so flush with unfairly talented authors and it is so lovely to hear that I stand out to you! Your FAVORITE Wincest writer??? *blushes furiously* I haven’t finished a story since February 2021, so it’s honestly just reassuring that anyone remembers my stories at all, let alone loves them this much. ;____; Please never apologize for “blabbering too much” when sending nice words to a fic author--feedback is literally the whole payoff of writing and sharing stories for free and if anyone ever doesn’t want to hear that their writing resonated with you, that’s their damage, not yours. XD

Like you, I am a big fan of angst (hee hee, as you can probably tell) and that devastation is a huge part of what draws me to the pairing. Also, my biggest points of inspiration came from spinning off moments in canon and exploring what might have happened if it played out another way. So to have you pick out those two things as your favorite aspects of my writing really just makes me feel so good. And, honestly, with how trash I’ve been at writing, let alone finishing, anything at all recently, feeling a little better about my writing was much needed!!

I really hope I write more Wincest, too! I mean, they are my main ship for *mumble mumble* years, so if I ever manage to write anything again, I will certainly write more Wincest, but lol, that’s starting to feel more doubtful. Though I signed up for salt_burn_porn to hopefully force myself to just write something without overthinking it, so maybe there will be new Wincest soon, even! At any rate, it’s always a comfort to know anyone at all will still care if I do manage to finish something.

I use the same handle, cheriemorte or cherie_morte, on pretty much every social media site, but I’m most active on Twitter. Though, frankly, I lurk on Tumblr all the time these days to check out the Dracula Daily memes, so you can find me here as well. :D

Thanks again for reaching out and making my day (sorry I took a few days to respond, I was a mix of busy and lazy XD).

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bruh-changbin · 6 months

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ok i can be honest… so think pink isn’t bad at all it’s just a little clunky. mc comes across as a pick-me, or self-centered. she’s rude to seemingly everyone for reasons we don’t know. it’s a little bit unrealistic because it’s hard to tell what jeongin and mc are fighting about? you probably could have made it flow more naturally than it is. but i don’t think it’s bad at all and it’s a fun idea too. maybe you need more revision? just read over your own work a few times to make sure it doesn’t sound awkward. build somewhat of a narrative and structure for mc. what does she like, what doesn’t she, etc. make her feel like a real solid identity. then i think it will be perfect!

anon I just wanna say THANK YOUUUUU for actually giving me like good constructive criticism 🙏🏼 I’ve had some of my writer friends revise my stuff but I’ve never had a reader actually tell me their thoughts like this so the only critiques I’ve had are from writers who critique from a writers perspective and not from a reader perspective……. if that even makes sense lmfao

I totally understand what you mean by it feeling clunky. I actually started this fic last year and was gonna post it last halloween but didn’t finish it so then when I went to actually finish it for this year I had like all of the main plot points written and had to kinda fill everything in? which in hindsight I feel like I should’ve scrapped and just started over to make it feel a lot more coherent and just flow better

I also wrote the majority of it in like 3 days (which I will usually work on a fic for like a week minimum even if it’s short bc I just need to sit with what I’ve written before revising/posting) and posted bc I already said I was gonna post it for Halloween and didn’t wanna go back on my promise 😭 so I def def get that it feels kinda unstructured

in terms of providing more background on mc or other characters is that what you guys like reading? because I also enjoy getting background but am always nervous that I’m droning on for too long and that people will wanna get into the real meat of the story sooner yk? and ik a lot of the fics that perform really well are ones that kinda dive right into stuff. BUT if that’s smth you feel like would be beneficial especially to fics that are this kinda vibe (which is like most of my fics lol) then I will definitely do that, I just don’t wanna feel like I’m adding stuff that’s unnecessary and that people might skip over, yk? so like… is more in depth explanation of a character or relationship or whatever what people want? bc I am happy to deliver again I just don’t wanna feel like I’m babbling on for too long

all of that being said lol think pink def isn’t a fic that I’m particularly proud of so I super super duper appreciate you letting me know your thoughts anon, I cannot stress how much it means to me that you read my work and saw my rb asking for feedback and actually took the time to send me this 🙏🏼 as a writer it means a lot when people actually engage with me whether it’s helpful asks like this or just saying hi or WHATEVER, I love interacting and chatting w y’all regardless and love your feedback 😭 but yea thank youuu anon I’m so glad you shared your thoughts and I will def keep them in mind and apply them as I’m working on my next fic (which is not for skz lol sorry) 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💗💗💗💗

more asks like this please!!! pls engage w your writers when they ask for feedback!!!

#asks #anons

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ncteez · 2 years

Note

hello hon, i wasnt planning to send you an ask anytime soon but i saw the ask sent by 🦦 anon and so i wanted to say something to you that i've been thinking about for a long time but never got the courage bc you're so cool and charismatic and the ppl interacting with you are also so cool i didnt wanted to look like a loser haha, so I'm sending this after seeing that you're leaving for a few days, have a good trip btw!! so, after reading your most recent jaemin fic, I had these thoughts that were reinforced by what i read : Hon, you're a damn good writer, i was so surprised about the plot of 'Subtle', i felt like i was discovering and learning something and you know when you're learning something new and it left you in awe bc wow, you werent expecting it to be that interesting and full of things that you never thought about or see anywhere, something unique? well that was me while reading this fic !! (oㅅo)b there's just something so satisfying and detailed in the way you write, like, when you read it, you can feel that's was the way it was supposed to be, I can't imagine reading a better way a scene or a character's feeling than what you write ? oh god I'm sorry idk if I'm making sense rn but I hope you're getting what I'm trying to say!! (in my defense im french and we're damn well know to suck at speaking and writing english im sorry!!). But yeah, im constantly attracted by the way you write, and i wanted to let you know that a lot of time you cured my boredom and put me in a good sleep fjjfjfjf I love your work so much, and I don't only appreciate it, I also appreciate the time and effort you put in your stories. also I'm sorry it took me this long to send you an ask but i've got some difficulties regarding leaving feedback and even reading (you know, when you're mentally... exhausted ?), you deserve all the praise, encouragement and support from all your followers and ppl who pass by who got the chance to read your stuff! 💓 I love your theme and the whole aesthetic of your blog too, it also helps very well when it comes to attract readers hehe

this ask literally had me in tears? it’s like, as someone who writes as a hobby but treats it like a job…this is huge. Like this is the feedback people dream about when it comes to writing and i just got it?? me?

i am so bad at taking compliments and i feel like my response should reach the length of your praise but i genuinely cannot find the words to thank you :( i am in love w you, i will kiss u

#[mail]#[feedback]#byunfirstlady

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awkward-parker · 2 years

Note

hey can u write something fluff with doctor strange? i don't have any preferences :)

Focus (Stephen Strange x Reader)

author's note: wow, two fics posted in two days in a row. i wanted to space them out a bit more, but i was too excited and wanted to post this one already! thank you so much, anon, for your fun request! wish i could tag you, so hopefully you get the notif for this! strangely enough (pun intended), you are my second ever request, and i really enjoyed writing it. admittedly, the summary sounds a little suggestive, but trust me it's a short cheesy little fluff fic. credit for my sister for editing! i appreciate any feedback or support you readers may have! :) happy reading!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! check the guidelines b4 sending one in :)

summary: While training with Stephen Strange, you simply cannot focus with the man in front of you. As childish as it sounds, you have a huge crush on the doctor, and he is far too distracting. Stephen helps you clear your mind.

word count: 1.1k

TAGS: fluff

Focus, (Y/N), focus! You thought forcefully to yourself, your brows furrowing into a deep v on your forehead. You lifted your hands up from your crossed legs and tried to maneuver your hands to summon a magic shield. Only feeling the familiar sparks fading from your fingertips, you dropped your arms in frustration. Opening your eyes, you saw Stephen watching you, his posture perfectly aligned and his arms resting on his thighs.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Stephen stated plainly. You felt your face grow warm in embarrassment. If you can summon a portal at the blink of an eye, why can’t you summon a basic shield? Stephen’s done it a million and one times, it can’t be that hard! Yet somehow, against the odds, the most you’ve been able to summon during your training session with Stephen were a few strings of static. You knew you must have been disappointing him, wasting his precious time. Your mind was just full of clutter that you couldn’t seem to get rid of.

Especially when the source of the thoughts was sitting right in front of you, his blue eyes staring into yours. You blushed profusely and looked away from him.

“Sorry,” you said quietly, your posture falling.

“Don’t apologize,” he said, causing your chest to flutter. “Try again.”

“I’ve been ‘trying again’ a hundred times now. This isn’t working.”

“You’re being dramatic, (Y/N). What’s stopping you?”

“I…I just can’t focus.”

“Sure you can,” Stephen told you confidently. He gestured for you to try again. He watched as you closed your eyes again, resting your wrists on your knees in the appropriate position. Forcing your mind to visualize the shield you wanted, you took a few deep breaths. However, you could feel Stephen’s stare on you. You became hyper-aware of what you were wearing: your old sweatpants were probably bunching up unattractively in all the wrong places, and your hair was thrown up in a lazy ponytail, sending fly-aways to stick out in every direction. Meanwhile, he wore his on-brand sweatpants elegantly, and his hair stayed slick back with the silver streaks contrasting delightfully against his dark hair. He was kind and patient with you, and you couldn’t help but grow to like the man. It took only twenty seconds for you to lose track of your thoughts, the noticeable fidgeting of your fingers giving away your distraction. Catching onto your straying mind, he sighed deeply and stood up. You opened your eyes and watched as he took two strides to close the gap between you and him.

“Let me help you.” he said, sitting himself down directly in front of you. The voice in your mind started to send curse words as you looked at his strikingly blue eyes up close. Attempting to swallow away any words you may have stuttered out, you nodded. He closed his eyes, signaling for you to shut yours. However, you were mesmerized by him. His hands trembled slightly as he reached for your temples, placing his first two fingers against the soft tissue on each side. You watched his jaw tick, and he pursed his lips.

“I’m going to need you to close your eyes, (Y/N),” he said after a few seconds of you blatantly staring at him. You startled and shut your eyes tightly, mortified for being caught.

“Right,” you swallowed.

You tried your best to ignore the heat from his hands in such proximity to your face, instead paying attention to your breathing rate. It took a few seconds of you breathing in and out before you felt a rush of relaxation bubble across your skin. With a heavy sigh, you could finally focus on the task at hand.

“Now try,” he whispered to you with his eyes still closed. He gently released your head and began to watch you.

Slowly lifting your arms, you began to circle your right hand next to your left, your fingers delicate, yet methodical in their movement. Feeling the sparks fly from your hands fueled by the ring on your fingers, you opened your eyes, surprised at the results.

The golden magic shimmered brightly, circling around the front of your fist. You could read the ancient runes that crafted the spell in all their wondrous glory. You almost didn’t want to put it away out of self-pride.

“Well, you did it. Beautifully, might I add,” Stephen said genuinely, your heart fluttering at the rare compliment from the usually stern man. He crossed his arms as you continued to look at your shield in wonder. “I told you so.”

“Don’t pull that card,” you scolded him lightheartedly, putting your arms down to make your shield disappear. “What magic trick did you use on me to clear my head?”

“I didn’t do anything to you,” he told you honestly, the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement. “You did that on your own. In the psychology field, they call that a ‘placebo.’”

You gaped at him and reached over to playfully hit him, a chuckle rising up from his throat.

“You jerk! Why would you do that?”

“Well, I can’t continue training someone who’s been distracted by my looks for the past hour. I had to do something.”

Your stomach dropped. Were you really that obvious? He did catch you staring at him, even with his eyes closed… maybe you shouldn’t have been so noticeable with your admiration of him.

Stephen smirked in satisfaction at your wide eyes.

“I—I was not distracted by your looks!” you spat in order to save your damaged ego.

“Oh, my mistake,” he dismissed with a small smile, standing himself up. “So, I shouldn’t assume you’d accept if I asked you if you wanted to grab a coffee?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Sure, you were absolutely smitten with the handsome man, silver hair and all. But you hardly ever expected for him to return the feelings, especially so blatantly. He was a doctor, for crying out loud! He could have anyone he’s ever wanted. Yet he asked you out, in the middle of your training, as well! On second thought, you couldn’t help but appreciate his boldness. You swallowed your shock, praying to whatever force was up there that this wasn’t some sort of sick joke. Putting on a face of confidence and keeping your voice level, you gave him your reply: “I mean, if you did ask, I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Stephen smirked, his left brow shooting upward in challenge. “Well, then,” he paused, holding his hand out to help you up. “Do you want to grab a coffee? I can have Wong look after the Sanctum while we’re gone.”

You accepted his hand and let him pull you up gently, staring up at him with a small smile. You blinked through your lashes, both of your hands still in each other’s.

“I would love to.”

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swcetnight · 2 years

Text

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 5

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: implied sexual themes, emotional breakdown, taehyung is too much of a gentleman and may have you swooning, anxiety, a little bit of yelling… angst is beginning to settle in…

→ word count: 12.8k

authors note:

happy birthday to meeee!!! i’m now 20 years old… that’s terrifying. but what better way to celebrate another year gone by with kim taehyung being the ultimate boyfriend who knows how to take a girl on an official first date??? there is no better way! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter out.. life has been.. insane. i just previously moved so i've been settling in with all that comes with it! thank you for waiting for the next chapter and I hope y'all enjoy it!! let's cry over kim taehyung together.

authors thanks:

a HUGE thank you to @hobipaint for beta-reading and helping me put this story into words! seriously, hazels feedback and suggestions are SO freaking helpful. i love you girl. also, a huge thank you to @amourtae for beta-reading and supporting this story!! thank you to everyone who continues to support me and my work... i could not thank you all enough for the kind messages and comments you've left on this series!!! i'm so beyond thankful that you enjoy my writing and are looking forward to the outcome of this series! I believe there will be two more chapters left before I close out this series and finally work on one shots LOL but I hope these next two chapter keep you all on your toes!

if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to reblog + send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you 🤍

without further ado, here is chapter 5!

December 8th

The art that stands before you is nothing compared to the concrete knowledge of Taehyung's feelings toward you— even the most iconic of art pieces wouldn't come close to the weightless feeling in your chest. Right now, you're standing before a building filled to the brim with art pieces that go down in history… and yet, all you can truly focus on is the warm hand clasped within your own, a creation unlike any other: an artist's hands.

Taehyung's dark eyes have been flying across The Met’s exterior: a large off-white building, towering above like a concrete cloud with its dazzling architecture catching eyes of nearby tourists who "ooo" and "ahh" at the finery. It beckons you towards the front doors as two red ribbons fall on either side, flowing in the chilly wind like lava; seemingly as bright as the tips of your frost-bitten noses.

You've been to The Met a few times, mostly alone when you needed time to think after a rough day— especially since it was free and provided you time to appreciate others' art, rather than focusing on the failing of your own. Usually, you would walk the halls and glance at the groups rummaging through the exhibits— eyes wide and smiles bright. Usually, you would admire the works you'd seen countless times with a fond smile, quietly making your way through. Usually, you would be walking through these doors alone.

But today was not a usual day.

The breeze brushes Taehyung's hair out of his eyes— as if the universe wanted him to truly see your efforts to bring him here— and he looks happy. A gentle smile graces his lips, his honey-like skin slightly creasing near his eyes with joy and solitude. You can't help but feel a sense of luck.

He is truly beautiful.

“I have no words.” A sigh leaves his lips, his smile full and bright like the sun that shines overhead. “Why did you bring me here?”

A few nights ago, you had briefly remembered Taehyung's confession of having been to The Met over a year ago— which shocked you, ya know, since he is an artist. And The Met is free. Free art for an artist? Why hasn't he gone more often? He assured you that he "just didn't have the time," but you knew that wasn't the truth.

You're getting better and better at picking up on his lies, and it saddens you to know that he tells a lot of them.

“It’s important for you to go to The Met.” You had claimed that night. “As an artist.”

Despite kissing him a few nights ago, you didn't have the guts to tell him that the truth behind your bringing him here was to spend more time with him. You were about to leave for a whole month… and a part of you missed him already. You cursed at yourself, claiming that it wasn't far enough into your relationship to start missing him while away— and yet your heart keeps aching every time you think of leaving him in a week.

“Just because.” You shrug in reply to his question, rocking back on your heels and smirking at him while he marvels over the view.

The fact that Taehyung had cried in the hallway of your apartment building also weighed on you. You still haven’t asked him about it — nor are you going to — but that was the final push towards this trip. He must be facing something extremely difficult, judging by the look on his face that night. He looked utterly broken and horrified. The least you could do was try to help him smile again.

Thus, here you are, standing before The Met, which holds the world's most significant artworks, while you hold an artist's hand.

"This place seems more ethereal now…." He exhales, his shoulders dropping in relief, and you can't help yourself from rubbing his back gently. He turns his head to look at you. "Especially since I get to be here with you."

Cheesy.

Truth be told, this was all very foreign to you: this thing called dating. Which… you couldn't say you were necessarily doing since he hasn't asked you on a proper date yet. Still, your stomach flutters when he looks at you this way— and his dark eyes hold the promises that you've kept locked away for a long time.

If you said that the only reason you hadn't dated when you were younger was that no one was interested, you would be lying. Your parents had gotten a divorce when you were young, then went through second divorces with your stepparents— so to you, love seems impossible. Love seems fake. It seems impossible to grasp.

And yet here is Taehyung, with eyes full of love and a hand that holds yours like a cocoon, keeping those little promises safe. You can't believe that you're lucky enough to have him by your side… to hold him like this and to learn what real love should be like.

Of course, you would never say this out loud… but with every day that passes, you realize that you truly are falling in love with him. No matter how scary that may be, it's inevitable.

"Alright, enough with that." You huff, pushing him towards the doors.

"Am I not allowed to be romantic?"

You shake your head. "Not at this moment; we've got too much to look at and not enough time."

Taehyung laughs at your eagerness, reaching forward to open the door and holding it for you. You pause, staring at him with an annoyed look on your face.

He looks lost.

"What?" He questions.

"I told you you're not allowed to be romantic."

A grin emerges onto his lips, the wind jostling his hair— and you want to slap yourself because this truly feels like a dream. A dream you never want to wake up from.

"I'm holding the door for you, M'lady. Besides, you have to lead the way— and we do have limited time." With that, he grasps your hand, nods to the people behind you in apology, and pulls you through the entrance.

It takes a moment to rebalance yourself, and you nearly fall over again when you notice how close the two of you are, noses touching. Taehyungs arm is around your waist, gratefully holding you up, or else you would've been on the floor by now. An inescapable blush creeps onto your cheeks and you shake your head slowly.

"This is still romantic." You whisper softly.

"Sorry." His voice is soft; his smile is shining brightly. Chocolate eyes run over your features, slowly traveling from your nose, to your lips, to the strand of hair falling on the side of your face, and settling back to your eyes. You're having trouble breathing. "I guess I can't help it."

A moment more of him staring at you like that is enough to make you pull out of his embrace, embarrassment evident as you turn him towards the first room. He's laughing, and you can't contain the smile that stretches onto your lips, despite your bashfulness.

"All hail the artists of artists!" You exclaim.

You had initially come here to raise Taehyung's spirits— and yet you are absolutely entranced by the art before you, maybe even more excited than the artist himself. You're starting to wish you'd studied art in school. Theatre was cool, too, but you felt like drawing the way Taehyung does at this moment. Each piece tells its own story, the metaphors and symbols dancing within brushstrokes and sculpted clay that overlaps and curls in a beautiful pattern. It’s almost like a script full of secrets… where the art is right in front of you, but the meaning within is hidden and up to the viewer's understanding. It’s intriguing.

"This one reminds me of you." Taehyung expresses quietly, standing before a simple painting of a single microphone standing in the center of an empty auditorium. A dim light is cast upon the mic, making it glow and shine in the otherwise dark and gloomy atmosphere. You had to bite back a smile. He sure had you all figured out, didn't he?

You pass so many stories; a woman and a child painting within a painting, a sculpted deer, a weird sculpture that you honestly have no idea the meaning of… it seemed as if the artist was drunk while creating it. And yet, Taehyung stood staring at that single confusing sculpture in awe. The passion that radiates through him as he glances at the awkward objects that make up the sculpture makes you smile. You can feel his enthusiasm within his long pauses and lingering gaze… these small moments make your heart seize; seeing him in his element was a whole different experience.

There's one drawing in particular that makes Taehyung pause for an exceptional amount of time, and you can't bring yourself to continue to admire the lover's hugging sculpture in front of you, too curious about what has him so distracted.

Silence fills the room as the last couple leaves to embark on the next exhibit, but Taehyung doesn't move. He's quiet as he stares solemnly, his hands hidden deep within his jacket pockets. Without asking any questions, you finally look at what's entranced him for this long.

The Clock. by Anpan

It's a drawing of a grandfather clock, a dim reflection of a man's outline with his finger moving the clock's hands in reverse. On the face of the clock, there are different drawings of a girl going through life, from birth to teen years, middle age, old age, and death.

You admire the way it's drawn, all by pencil, not needing any form of color to express the deeper meaning. The meaning of a man going back in time to recall his lover's life. It takes you a moment to finally look away from the drawing, turning your attention towards the gentle eyes that are already settled on you.

"What?" You question, grasping onto Taehyung's arm when his gaze never strays from your own.

All he does is offer a small smile— a boxy shape that outshines the sparkling lights of The Mets Christmas decorations — a smile that you've grown so fond of.

"It's nothing." He responds.

----

December 9th

"You and Taehyung did WHAT?"

You wince awkwardly, glancing around to make sure that no customers in the cafe caught wind of your conversation, which (as usual) is hard to believe since Jimin's excitable self is loud when he takes in mind-blowing information. Sometimes, it's a blessing and a curse. More so a curse in this situation.

You barely move your mouth as you utter, "we kissed," before taking another sip of your seasonal beverage.

This year (courtesy of yourself), the cafe has a "milk & cookies" latte, with customers raving inside and out of the Academia walls over the flavoring. You even heard customers discussing it in a nearby grocery store, which had you smiling ear to ear at the notion of your own flavoring blend exciting their taste buds.

Even Jimin was drinking the aforementioned latte, but he has barely taken many sips since you enlightened him with the topic of you and Taehyung's brief make-out session on your couch.

Jimin's leaning across the small table in eager interest. His smile is probably reaching from the East Village to Washington Heights. "You KISSED? And when were you going to tell me? When I was old and gray??? How did this happen? What happened? Was it good??? Did Taehyung—"

"Oh my gosh, could you be any louder?" You seethe, smacking his hand that rests on the table. He's quick to respond, gasping and rubbing the pain away with an over-dramatic glare. "Yes, we kissed, and yes, it was good and you can shut up about it now."

You brush off the topic like snow off the roof of a car, unable to converse any further without your face igniting into flames. You enjoyed every second of that kiss... every brush of his lips against your own, every time his fingers ran through your hair, every single moan that he released that you swallowed eagerly and wished to hear again.

However, there was no way you dared to speak these feelings aloud.

As if on cue, Taehyung's chilled frame breaks through the doors of the cafe and straight into your direction, wafting cold winter air in with him and cutting off Jimin's next question about the kiss. He's bombarded with bags, shifting his weight as he rests them on the empty seat beside Jimin. They must be his college bags, filled to the brim with binders and folders, the starry night painting plastered atop one of them— most notably his art bag.

He's heaving, attempting to catch his breath as he removes layers and layers of clothing. And yet, he looks stunning as always, his hair parted slightly as snowflakes sit peacefully within the dark waves. It's easy to admire the way one falls onto his nose and melts at the touch. Beneath the mounds of coats and jackets, he's wearing a dark brown sweater that highlights the earthy tone of his irises.

"Woah, woah, woah—"Jimin exclaims, pushing the chair farther from him when a piece of snow falls onto the floor, nearly hitting Jimin's shoe. "Keep the cold outside, will you?"

Taehyung smiles, finally collecting himself as he drags his computer out from the Starry Night bag. "Sorry!" He exhales happily.

His attention turns immediately to you, and before you can even think— he leans over and places a kiss on your cheek, a snowflake falling onto your forehead. You usually would squeal at the cold, but you're too busy suffering from a hot face after an utterly unpredictable kiss was just planted straight onto your skin.

It all happened so fast, and it has you careening.

Jimin is grinning like a buffoon, waving his eyebrows in your direction, which causes your cheeks to grow even hotter. You nearly forget that a kiss on the cheek is a regular occurrence in relationships— which, again, you can't say you have a relationship when he hasn't really put a label onto this whole endeavor.

Taehyung seems unperturbed by his actions, continuing to seat himself beside you and open up his laptop. On the other hand, you are red in the face and have trouble breathing. Does this mean you're official? Does he want to pursue regular relationship actions with you? Did he kiss you on the cheek in a friendly way?

What the hell, Y/n. Kissing is not friendly.

Jimin can obviously tell that your brain is spiraling because he's quick to change the topic, questioning aloud in the brain-wreckers direction. "How's the project coming?"

"I'm almost finished. I have to put my signature on the drawing and then—" He holds out the "n" in "then," shuffling through his many google docs on the screen. When he seems to have found the doc he was looking for, he continues. "Then, I'll be able to send it to our teacher and Kim Namjoon… which is totally freaking me out."

"I'm sure it's amazing." You chime in, quickly shutting your mouth again when he turns to look at you with a smile. Can he tell that you were freaking out literally two seconds ago?

Taehyung speaks nonchalantly. "It's not perfect, but I tried my best."

Nope. He definitely can not tell you're freaking out… good.

Jimin sighs, seemingly coming down from the previous conversation since he's nursing his latte again. "Everything you make is perfect; let's be honest." Jimin leans towards you. "He won almost every single 'artist of the week' award in our school— but they had to mix it up the other times so that it seemed fair."

"That's not true." Taehyung huffs in ignorance.

"It is true. You we're constantly leaving class to go accept your award at the main building."

Taehyung doesn't respond, too busy clicking through files while Jimin mouths "it's true" to you. It's hard not to smile at the thought of Taehyung doing so well in his studies, seeing as he was this stressed out over it the minute he walked into the doors. Even enough to kiss you on the cheek in his haze.

"Do you want to see it?"

You almost don't register Taehyung's question, but the second you do, you find him looking at you with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. What did you know about art? Shouldn't he be showing Jimin? The truth is, you know it's because he favors you and wants you to be happy with his work… and you can't help the fluttering feeling that erupts in your chest at the notion.

You nod. "Yeah! Of course I do."

He slides his computer over, clicking on the link before bracing his arm around the back of your chair. It takes everything in you not to lean into the ghosting heat of his skin, but you refrain and attempt to focus on the painting that splays out in front of you.

The brushstrokes dance and skim across the surface like golden swirling ribbons. Architecture made from rays of the golden sun. It's almost as if you see the theatre in person again, the building radiating with dark brown and golden strokes that paint the exterior of the theatre perfectly. Golden swirls cinch at the top of the double doors which hold shadows of people beyond the grey painted glass. The theatre is sparkling in what seems to be a spotlight, blotches of white accentuating the sparkles across the golden surface. Next to the doors, there’s a sign which reads “Kim’s Theater: Now Open!”

"Oh my gosh, Taehyung." You whisper, catching his lips twitching upwards in the corner of your eye as you lean toward the screen to get a closer look. "This is… Wow. This is incredible."

"Yeah?" Taehyung says quietly. You almost feel as if he's trying not to touch your back, the ghosting heat becoming warmer before fading back to the way it was before. He was trying to put his arm around you. You barely notice this, however, too intrigued by his profound talents.

"Yes. It's almost like you're actually there! You made the exterior so much prettier, too… people will want to see this place far and wide, I promise you."

"Oh! That's not all." He exclaims, moving his arm from the back of your chair to reach towards his laptop. He's changing to another link, and yet another incredible painting comes into view.

This time, it's up on the rooftop. The same chairs and decorations from that night are painted in such a way that you can almost feel the soft, cushy couch beneath you. This is amazing because you're currently seated on probably the most uncomfortable chair you've ever had the displeasure of sitting on.

"You have such a gift." You breathe out quietly, shaking your head at the sheer beauty of his art. The art of someone so passionate, so in-depth with his creations— someone you know tries his absolute hardest to succeed. And here he is with successful projects and art pieces. "Truly."

His left hand, once hidden beneath a wooly glove, is now bare on the table, bracing himself beside the computer. Without thinking, you place your hand over his and give him a reassuring squeeze as you inspect the dotted stars across the top of the painting.

His skin burns at your touch, warm and inviting you to take his hand within yours. He's so gentle in every way; even the feel of his skin is buttery smooth and taunting you in a way that makes you utterly nervous. You attempt to move your hand away from his own, but he's quick to stop you and grab onto your ghosting grip. You can feel your heart beating wildly… he must feel your hand pulsing.

If he does, he doesn't point it out. In fact, he continues on as if nothing is happening.

"I have to be there for the opening night of the theatre…." He pauses, collecting himself with a quiet inhale. "Do you want to come with me? As my plus one?"

You nod, offering him a toothy smile. The smile that grows on your face is inevitable, and after a few seconds, your cheeks burn from the overextended joy. You don't know how Taehyung does this… even the tiniest of things give you an enormous amount of serotonin.

"Of course I do." You respond.

----

December 10th

You're trying to pay attention, truly you are.

When Taehyung offered to help you with house chores, you were eager to say yes and use him to get out of the tasks you didn't want to do: vacuuming, dusting, tidying up, etc. Cleaning is not your favorite thing in the world, but you figured with Taehyung here, it would be easier.

Boy, were you wrong.

Leave it to the two of you to get sidetracked by each other's presence. You had merely scrubbed your kitchen counter before the two of you took a break and erupted into conversation on the couch. Normally, you wouldn't mind having a genuine conversation with him… but the tingling deep within your stomach has you dazed and unable to process the words coming out of his distracting mouth.

His cologne is a bit more prominent today, and it's making your head spin in the most blissful way… it takes everything in you not to lean forward and hug him just so you can soak in it a little bit more. But that would be rude, seeing as Taehyung is trying to have a conversation with you about his teacher's feedback on his project.

"He was actually really nice about the criticism—” he chirps across from you happily, totally unaware of your struggles, “and luckily, he said there wasn't much to criticize… so I guess I won't have to change anything before opening night!"

All you can seem to do is stare at his moving lips, plump and soft— making you heated and dizzy. You continue nodding as if you understand what he's saying, but every other word that leaves his mouth is drowned out. Was this what sexual frustration felt like? If so, it was more than frustrating.

"Y/n?"

You jolt up. "Hm? What?"

He's looking at you with a confused expression, licking his lips in a way that has you cursing his habit. It was cute, you're not gonna lie... but how dare he do that when you're in the middle of a horny crisis?

"You okay?" He questions, moving his hand to the side of your arm to hold you gently, an action drenched in concern.

"Me? Yeah! I'm fine; why?" Maybe it was because you responded too quickly, or maybe it's because you're obviously blushing (judging by the heat of your face), but Taehyung's expression changes slightly before his lips lift into a knowing grin.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks teasingly, scooting towards you slowly before running his palm up and down your skin.

Geez louise...

A smile snakes its way across your lips; you shake your head. "Nothing…"

"I don't know…." He taunts, moving even closer so that the already overwhelming smell of his cologne is more flustering. You have half a mind to jump on him and finally get the attention you're craving for, but the smarter half keeps you seated and nervous within his grip. "You seem distracted."

"Not distracted at all…." But your eyes drop to his lips once more, studying the ever-growing curve of his grin, and he chuckles before finally removing the distance between the two of you and placing his smile onto your own.

You don't think you'll ever get used to this. Your heart is racing when he moves his lips against yours, scooting even closer as he wraps his arm around your waist. The want within your lower stomach grows stronger, butterflies beating their wings against your sides, and you nearly see stars when you feel his hand travel up to the side of your neck. With a gentle hum, he lays you down onto the couch, slowly and carefully, as if you're made of the finest glass.

Every time Taehyung kisses you, it feels like the two of you are the only people in the world… as if he was the only man that existed and was solely created to be with you. Every tantalizing move he makes is like a whispered secret, something only the two of you know. Truth be told, if soulmates are real— you're more than certain that you have found yours.

The only problem is that Taehyung never takes it past a certain point. Even now, as he's kissing your neck and running his hands over the sides of your stomach, you can tell that he's holding back from truly letting go. Veiny hands ghost over the bottom of your shirt, obviously itching to take it off of you, but he keeps still and settles for playing with the edges as he grinds down onto you. You've tried to say something like "it's okay" or "you can keep going," — but he refuses to do so, saying that he "wants to do it right." Which utterly confuses you.

Is this not right for him? It feels right for you.

You partly wonder if he's never done this before, and maybe he's simply too nervous… yet every move he makes seems so natural for him. As if he's done this before. As if a barrier is in place between what he truly wants— and honestly, you would bulldoze straight through it if you could.

You don't want to break his boundaries, though, so you're fine with just kissing him for now.

And so you do.

----

December 11th

It's getting even colder now in the city, almost too cold for your liking, and you're typically one to enjoy it. You enjoyed the feeling of walking in the snowfall, almost like a princess in a fairytale movie with white snowflakes falling around your moving figure. You enjoyed snowball fights with Jimin in central park and warming up inside a neighboring cafe with Taehyung so that you could complain about how much better tasting the Academia Cafes coffee was. But this cold was getting ridiculous.

People are whisking quickly past the cafe's foggy windows, frost clinging to its surface. The passersby are most likely on their journey toward home amongst the freezing temperatures, wearing irritable looks on their faces. At this point, you're wondering if you should just hail a cab back home instead of walking to the subway a mere block away.

At least you weren't alone.

Taehyung is seated on a neighboring barstool, his coffee-colored eyes stealing your attention as they scan the screen of his laptop. He's been working on final touch-ups like a dead man walking. You admire his perseverance to make it even more perfect than it already is… which to you is practically impossible, seeing as the painting looks like it was literally painted by God. Taehyung claimed that it "wasn't quite there yet" much to your surprise.

Still, you couldn't blame him for wanting to continue working on an already completed piece. You're one to continuously work on a musical theatre song, then film it two thousand times until you finally get the worthy enough take. This is probably the same situation.

You're grateful for his company… and he's been around you nearly every day since the night you kissed. Which was nothing to complain about. In fact, it made you feel safe and wanted, which is something you haven't felt in a very, very long time. He wants to pour all of his time into being with you, and sometimes, he looks at you in such a way… a way that makes your heart jump into your throat and your head fog up, and your vision blur. A look of longing. A glimpse of… misery? He looks at you like you'll disappear at any moment. It's unlike anything you've ever seen.

The soft humming of the speaker, which is seated proudly on the bar, distracts you from focusing too much on the artist in the room. The broom in your hand is also a good reminder of what you should be doing, rather than harping on him. Soon you're swaying, rhythmically sweeping to the tune of "You Matter To Me" from Waitress the musical.

You nearly forget that you're not alone when you spin around slowly, dipping lower to free a bit of pastry from beneath a chair leg. Seriously, why do people not clean up after themselves when they drop food? It's not that hard to bend over and pick it up. The trash can is literally a meter away, and these people still have the audacity to leave their food on the ground. Through your muddled thinking, you feel hands wrap around your waist before you have the chance to whisk the arrogant food into the pan. The hands are warm yet still cause you to lurch slightly as a gasp leaves your lips.

"Woah— easy." Taehyung laughs (you love his laugh), lowering his head to gently rest his chin atop your shoulder.

"You scared me." You act as if you're unamused, but you're obviously leaning back into his embrace to soak him in just a little bit further. He apologizes quietly, swaying in time with the music. Your eyes flutter closed. No matter how cliche it sounds, every moment with him is like a musical theatre scene. So perfect, so scripted-- and yet it's not scripted, so Taehyung must be a genius at making you swoon.

"Come out of hiding; I'm right here beside you…." The speaker sings.

Taehyung is quick to remove the broom from behind you and set it against a nearby table. The close proximity of his body against yours is magical, and it takes no effort from him to lift your linked hands and spin you away from him. His movements are smooth, and you have half a mind to ask him if he dances at all— but when he pulls you back in, you're unable to utter any words when your nose brushes his.

With a massive smile on his face— and you mean massive because this boy is totally patting himself on the back for aforementioned smoothness— he reaches forward to hold your waist. Within moments, he's swaying with you softly and holding you in a way that makes your stomach churn slightly…

He's going to be the death of you.

----

December 12th

You don’t see Taehyung today.

No matter how badly he wanted to hang out with you (which he made very clear when he called you in a tizzy), duty called at the theatre, and Taehyung was forced to be there early this morning.

Despite not being with you in the flesh, you’re almost embarrassed to admit that he is literally all you’ve been able to think about today. You wonder what he’s up to… what they have him working on. You wonder what he’s wearing— maybe the coat he bought with you at that old consignment store, the black one that made him look like a businessman and had you weak in the knees.

Still, looking past the fact that he’s ingrained into your thoughts, you continue with your day: doing laundry, cooking lunch to bring to Jimin, who’s working busily at the cafe, and shopping around for some decor for your apartment.

Even Jimin decided to give you a hard time when you checked the cafe for the familiar dark-headed artist.

“This is what they call the honeymoon phase.” Jimin coos, handing you a warm caramel latte with a smirk. When will the day come when Jimin doesn’t tease you over something you have absolutely no control over? That is a question for the ages. And he has the time of his life doing so… judging by the ever-growing smirk on his face when the blush sinks deep into your cheeks.

Jimin might’ve been right.

Even folding your laundry reminded you of him. Reminded you of the night he took you to the laundromat to pick up your clothes and helped you fold them. Lucky you, it was just jeans and t-shirts… if Taehyung had seen anything else, you think you would’ve crawled into one of those laundry machines and tried to spin yourself out of your misery.

It was almost embarrassing how much you missed him.

You shouldn’t be feeling this way when the two of you literally just connected in a romantic way, should you? You shouldn’t feel like you’ve known him all your life when you had barely even begun your relationship…

It was weird and sudden-- yet so familiar.

----

December 13th

The last thing you were expecting this morning was a phone call from Taehyung, bright and early, lighting upon your face as soon as the clock hits nine in the morning. If it were anybody else, you probably would've thrown your phone across the room and dove back into the dreamy state you had been awoken from-- but this was Taehyung, so the only thing you were throwing was yourself towards the alerting device.

"Hello?" You voice groggily, clearing your throat as you wince at the rude reminder that you literally just woke up.

"Wow, good morning." Taehyung chuckles over the line, and you're pretty close to punching him through the phone for making fun of you, but the sweet sound of his laugh distracts you. "Did you just wake up?"

"... Maybe."

"Ahhh, and here I thought you were a morning person! Guess I was wrong." You can hear the smirk in his voice. A faint sound of cars honking is heard in the background, diverting you from your feigned annoyance... Was he out of the house this early? Bless his soul.

"Where are you?" You question, finally propping yourself up against your headboard.

"Out and about running some errands." You can hear his footsteps across the snow, quiet crunching in the background playing like a soothing lullaby, nearly lulling you back to sleep. "We have plans today."

And suddenly, you're wide awake.

"We?"

"You and me." He explains.

A smile grows onto your face as you play with your duvet bedding, containing the relieved sigh at the thought of seeing him again. Even now, your brain revolves around him in the most pathetic way… but you don't mind that much.

At your hesitation, Taehyung breaks the silence once more.

"Are you busy?" He questions anxiously, his frozen footsteps faltering over the line like a sad child who was denied hot chocolate. You can hear the pout in his voice, and it nearly makes you laugh… the desperation seems mutual. "That's totally okay if you are... I just thought we could go on an official date today."

You hide your smile behind your hand and collect yourself enough to respond, feigning nonchalance. "The other days haven't been dates?"

"… They weren't official. This is official." He states, the creaking of a door in the background piquing your interest in what he has planned… Did all his running around and preparation have to do with your date today? What is he planning? "We can do it another day if—"

You jolt up. "No! No— mm, no. I was just joking around."

"Good," he responds, the smile and childlike excitement fully evident in his voice. Honestly, you can't remember the last time someone was this excited to see you… and it wraps around your heart like a heated blanket. "Get ready! I'll pick you up at two!"

You're really not a fan of heights. Actually, scratch that; you've never been a fan of heights. The last time you can remember being high above the ground was back in middle school when you climbed a reasonably small mountain during a field trip, and you nearly blacked out when they took you to the final overlook. You couldn't imagine people willingly coming this far above the ground to marvel at the views, seeing as the views nearly made you sick to your stomach.

Maybe it's because Taehyungs with you that you agree to visit the Summit One Vanderbilt. It towers over the city at an appalling height of 1,401 feet tall— and they expect you to enjoy the views. Truth be told, you were definitely not enjoying the view as you stood and stared up at the building from the sidewalk, the lump in your throat threatening to eat you alive. You're basically the filet mignon on the menu.

Again, maybe it's because Taehyung is with you that you agree to go. Maybe it's because you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of him by being a total chicken and backing out of his request. Which, much to your disappointment (mostly in yourself), is obviously not working when you cling to his jacket through your thick gloves— scooting the tiniest bit closer to him in the already cramped elevator. Right at this moment, you're praying not only to live but also for your will to live. If you turn even the tiniest bit, you'd be able to see the elevator view going up and up and up— continuously moving like a flowing river even though you wish with every ounce of your being to reach the top already.

"You're doing great." Taehyung whispers, an evident smile in his voice as he wraps an arm around you and pulls you into his neckline. He's holding your head to hide you from glancing at the height— and you know that your cover is blown.

"Not really fond of heights.” You voice quietly, muffled words spoken into the jacket gracing his shoulders, embarrassed to even admit it when you've already come this far. No way you're backing out now.

Still, Taehyung holds you tighter, and you can feel him suppressing a laugh before he whispers gently, the faintest wind from his voice blowing a speck of your fear away.

"I know."

You have to give Taehyung credit for his efforts. He's slowly guiding you out of the elevator when the damned thing finally decides to stop rising into the clouds. Your eyes are still frozen shut in fear, but the warm palms around your shoulders are keeping you grounded… but not actually grounded because you're thousands of feet in the sky.

Stop reminding yourself that you're thousands of feet in the sky!

The farther he takes you, the more curious you get— but despite this fact, your eyes still refuse to open. The view must be horrifying.

"Okay, gotta be careful here cause there's a huge hole in the floor." Taehyung voices quietly, his hands gripping onto you. "Just take a laaarge step; it'll be fine."

And that's when your eyes suddenly fly open; your need to be in control of the current situation is sullying your stubbornness— cause no way in hell are you letting Taehyung lead you over a cliff. Not that you think he would lead you off purposefully, but accidents happen! You shriek aloud, faltering backward into his chest and away from the aforementioned hole… which seems to not exist. Your face is staring back at you through the glass floors, which are completely flawless in design. And that's when you see Taehyung's body shaking behind you in silent laughter.

It takes a moment for your heart to beat again, but as soon as you've regained some of your sanity, you elbow him in the gut. "That is not funny!" You whine, shoving his hands off of your shoulders when he finally lets out a peal of laughter.

And that's when you look up.

Holy– okay, this is high up.

The room is an echo of mirrors and glass windows, making you slightly dizzy as you glance around the room at different versions of yourself and a view unlike anything you've ever seen. At the very top of the city, towering over the hundreds of buildings and thousands of people that are probably whisking away along the streets, you feel like a tiny ant. A tiny, little ant that keeps getting stepped on… but nonetheless finds the solace of a crevice. A crevice to hide in. A hand to hold.

And he's looking at you fondly as you marvel at the view… partly scared and partly in awe. He's looking at you and not the view in front of him… as if this is something he gets to see every day, which you know is not the truth. When you meet his coffee-brown eyes, they hold something within them… something that whispers the softest of I love yous. Something that makes your insides turn out. Something that feels so familiar– and it only takes you a moment to break eye contact out of fear of awkwardness.

Nonetheless, you can still feel his eyes on you.

"From up here, the difficulties we face seem so minuscule, don't they?" He questions, finally turning his attention towards a flock of birds flying across the sky.

You hum in agreement.

The Rockefeller Center is lit up in bright Christmas lights, the snow that softly descends above you dancing within its fluorescence like ballerinas on the stage. At any other time, you would be in awe by the colors around you and watching the light show unfold… but…

"Good! Now, glide, Taehyung. On the ice. Let's go."

To you, it seemed as if Taehyung was good at everything. He was handsome, talented, kind, funny, and every piece of him reminded you of how lucky you are to have him by your side. But right now…He was embarrassing himself by clinging to the side of the ice rink walls.

Maybe he wasn't good at everything.

"I'm gonna fall." He whines like a toddler, holding out his shaking gloved hand when you ask him to reach for you. You can't help the chuckle that bubbles within your throat, and Taehyung can obviously tell that you're amused with his struggles. "Stop laughing!"

His plea just makes you laugh more, doubling over as you attempt to catch your breath with quiet "sorrys" and "I'll stop, I'll stops," nonetheless continuing to sputter out giggles.

"Come on, Tae. Hold my hand." You say softly, the aching smile on your cheeks never faltering as you see his brows knit in concentration. "I won't let you fall, so grab onto me."

You aren't a pro ice skater either, but you've gone ice skating quite a few times and absolutely adored every single moment of it— especially growing up. Your family had a river that froze over every winter, and there was no wall to cling to there, so naturally, you had to learn pretty quickly.

Taehyung huffs, digging his leg closer to you as he shakily releases one hand from the wall, reaching for your own. You can't help but smile at the notion that he brought you here because you said that you liked ice skating. Even though the poor guy could barely get two feet in the rink.

"You're so close! Come on, a little more." You wheeze, unable to help yourself since he looks like a newly birthed giraffe attempting to eat grass, all long limbs stretched out in heated frustration.

"This is hard." He grunts.

"I believe in you."

"I don't believe in myself, y/n."

"You're so close, Tae. Look how close you are! You're doing great, just un-cling yourself from the wall, please and thank you."

"This is the worst moment of my life."

He looks ridiculous…. ridiculously adorable.

When he finally places his gloved hand within yours, you forcefully pull him away from the wall, sending his beautiful face into deep-rooted shock and fear as he holds onto you like a lifeline, attempting to find his footing on the ice as skaters pass the two of you in a flurry. Gotta hand it to him; at least he's off the wall now. Baby steps.

"See," you smile, "you did it." He's glaring at you with snowflake flurries in the dark sea of his hair. His attempt to look angry is squashed by the pure innocence of his appearance. You gently brush them away with your free glove and give him a smile. "You're gonna be a pro-skater in no time."

"You're mean." He whines, but nonetheless, he can't hide the smile on his own face.

Holding Taehyung's hand while you drag him across the ice is most likely the highlight of your day– seeing as you expected to be the one getting dragged, but now you feel somewhat powerful. With legs as frigid as the ice beneath, he slowly begins to skate in the least proportional way possible. You smile at his efforts. He's doing great.

Well, he was doing great, up until the point where said frigid legs decided to give out and topple you to the iced floor. The two of you convulse with laughter, breathing out into the night air of the ice rink as you stare up at the sky with toothy grins. For a moment, the nearby skaters who have to swerve to not run you over don’t matter. For a moment you can appreciate his company as you feel his gloved hand reach its way towards yours.

It’s only until he shuffles beside you that he breaks your resolve.

“C’mon! We’ll be late!” He laughs, attempting to stand but ultimately falling back down. When you question what you’re going to be late for, Taehyung merely smiles.

Within an hour, you're sitting from the top of the ice to the front row before a stage, lights dimming gently as Taehyung taps his feet beside you to the pre-show music. You're holding a playbill in your hand, the paper adorned with pink letters that glisten in the faint light of the theatre. "Waitress," they read. Not only did Taehyung dance with you to one of the songs the other night, but he also bought tickets to see said song live.

You’ve been wanting to see Waitress for a long time. You listened to the entire score in a day and were bursting with excitement upon knowing it was returning to Broadway– but money was tight, thus being the reason why you’ve never bought tickets. Now, as you hold tight to the ticket in your hand, you can feel your chest erupting in excitement. Taehyung's proud smile is still gracing his features when you stop to take a picture of the two of you with the playbill.

Oh my gosh, you bet these were expensive.

You shove down your worry, trying to remember how grateful you are to be spending so much time with him (especially time spent in a theatre) before you leave. Until then, you'll be happy to sit beside him as the music chimes, and the show begins.

Sugar.

Sugar, butter.

Sugar, butter, flour.

Within moments you're the little kid within you again, eyes gleaming as they stare at the art taking place on the stage— and you can feel Taehyung's hand slide into yours, ever so gently. You turn to face him, a smile present on your lips, and he's smiling back at you with admiration gracing his eyes. Every time he looks at you, it's as if you're some art piece that he loves— that sits in an exhibition specifically for him.

For a moment, you think this is the happiest you've ever been.

And then, you see the unwelcoming sight of your apartment door. The wreath that hangs upon the outside does nothing to sully your newfound bad mood. Why do good days have to come to an end? Why can't we live inside of those good days, bundle up and cuddle within its warmth without the cold bite of tomorrow sneaking in?

Why, oh why do you have to leave in three days?

You know the reason why… and you're excited, absolutely. But the thought of leaving the person whose hand is holding your own is starting to leave a bad taste in your mouth. Why does it feel as if you're never going to see him again when you know you'll see him tomorrow?

Leave it to Taehyung to steal any bad tastes from your mouth and replace it with the sweetness of his kiss. It's gentle and soft, all-encompassing as he runs his gloved hand up and down your back. So comforting. This comfort makes you bold as you deepen the kiss, and pretty soon, Taehyung is slowly backing you up against the door. He takes your lower lip between his teeth.

You know this will only last for a moment; you know that he'll end up saying no; still, you can't help yourself.

"Do you want to come inside?" You ask hesitantly between kisses, key at the ready to open that door and beckon his figure through it. Much to your disappointment, Taehyung pauses. Why is he so against taking another step in your relationship? "I can make us some hot cocoa… maybe a movie or something?"

It's another moment of silence before his shoulders drop along with your heart. "I don't think that would be the best idea… I mean, I have to prepare for the opening of the theatre tomorrow night, and I think a good night's sleep is needed." Unable to hide his desperation, Taehyung's eyes linger on your door for a touch longer before he removes himself from your embrace. "Big day tomorrow."

"Huge day, yeah." You agree.

And with a small apology and a goodbye kiss, Taehyung's warmth disappears through the doors.

----

December 14th

Honk, honk!

The abruptness of the rather boisterous sound causes your cream heels to pause before crossing the street, cars whizzing past in a flurry of bright yellow taxis and other colors of the rainbow. If it weren't for the sound of the horn, you would've been hit by the cab whose driver seems to be flipping you off as he continues down the street. He's the one who nearly hit you, yet here he was giving you the middle finger?

Classy.

You straighten up your curled hair, taking a deep breath before releasing your cloud into the crisp of the air. The cream-colored dress that hugs at your waist and falls just below your knees is doing nothing to keep you warm, golden sparkles shimmering in the city lights. A trail of golden leaves dance across its surface, gathering at the top so your neckline and shoulders are smothered with leaves. Luckily, the white double-breasted jacket keeps the chill from nipping too harshly.

With the time it takes to cross the road and the harsh winter winds lapping at your exposed legs, you're starting to regret telling Taehyung that he didn't have to pick you up. Who told the weather that it could be this cold? Still, you worm your way through the cars and finally reach the entrance of Kim's Theatre.

It's as beautiful as you remember it being, only now the sparkling golden party decorations add to its glamour. Gold was an exceptional theme choice.

You feel as if you don't belong here… everyone around you is walking inside in ballgowns and things you'd seen only on the red carpet— outfits you could only dream of affording. They all look beautiful– and now the golden leaf that holds the left side of your hair back and away from your face feels like a childish style choice. Why didn't you choose something more mature? Did you look like a child? Should you go home?

"Ma'am?" The voice that calls your name distracts you for a mere moment. It's the theatre's doorman. "You better come inside. It's only going to get colder!"

It is freezing. And you're not here to worry about your style choice; you're here to support Taehyung. With this change in mindset, you take a deep breath and nod to the awaiting doorman.

Walking through the doors is almost like walking through a fairytale novel; every twinkling light and golden array of decoration is increasing your excitement. The second entrance is decked out with golden and white balloons, strings of silver falling over the door like a hidden entrance to the fairytale world. There are more people inside than outside (which you can’t say you’re surprised about due to the weather), and they stand conversing when you enter. One of them throws you a glance, but immediately delves back into the neighboring conversation. Despite the feeling of not belonging, you're grateful you're here; you're grateful that you're here to support Taehyung; you're grateful that he's looking at you as if you're the star of this night the second you walk into the lobby.

His lips are parted at the sight of you. Maybe pinching yourself would be a good idea because geez Louise, is he handsome. Before tonight, you never really understood the hype of a man in a suit. So what if someone got all dressed up? All suits look the same anyway. But now… a suit on Taehyung is making you weak in the knees.

"Hey." He says, almost nervously. You can't help but smile.

"Hey." You respond.

His eyes run along the leaves scattered across your neckline and shoulders. He smiles softly. "You look incredible."

And just like that, every doubt that you had while walking into the building disappears through the door and out into the chilly air. It's unwelcome at this party. Especially since Taehyung is looking at you as if you're the best-dressed woman here— which is totally untrue.

Nonetheless, a quiet "thank you" leaves your lips before he's grasping your hand with his own and leading you to a neighboring group of people.

More men in suits. Nothing compared to Taehyung, but you know who these men are: directors and actors from the theatre world. The nerves within your stomach are starting to grow, and when a waiter passes by with glasses of champagne, you're quick to grab one. You're gonna need some encouragement to get you through this conversation. Plus, champagne is classy! So maybe you'd look more presentable while drinking it.

"Excuse me, Mr. Kim?" Taehyung voices, drawing the attention of the men before you.

A tall, dimpled man in glasses is quick to raise his head, his smile growing at the sight of Taehyung. They must know each other pretty well now, seeing as Taehyung has been here multiple times a week to draw the theatre.

"Kim Namjoon, this is my girlfriend, Y/n Y/l/n."

The room spins for a moment when you hear the word "girlfriend" spill naturally from Taehyung's lips, and you have to mind yourself before your champagne glass can tip over. He's looking at you fondly, unabashed, pulling you slightly in front of him and presenting you to his colleague.

Yet, all you can think is: he just called you his girlfriend. AHH!!

"Y/n, I've heard so much about you." Kim Namjoon smiles warmly, holding his hand out to shake yours. Before he can utter another word, Jimin is quick to intrude himself into the conversation, grabbing Taehyung's attention.

"I am so sorry to interrupt, but there's a couple here who wants to talk about your drawing, Taehyung." He voices, quickly offering you a smile— you can tell that he's holding back from jumping up and down with you at the fact that you're here and with Kim Namjoon. Much to scream about later over hours worth of a phone call. "You'd better go and talk to them."

Taehyung nods before turning to you.

"Will you be alright?"

To be honest, you don't know how to answer that question. You want him to do what he needs to do without worrying about your well-being, but at the same time, you have half a mind that you'll crumble within seconds of being alone with a group of theatre prodigies.

Get it together, Y/n. This is Taehyungs night.

"Of course, go go!" You whisper excitedly, pushing him towards Jimin, who drags him through the crowd and out of your sight. His gaze never leaves yours until he's turning the corner, offering you a small wave and apologetic eyes.

Namjoon breaks the silence. "He's a wonderful artist."

"He's immensely talented." You agree, turning back to the man whose dimpled smile shines brightly on his face. "And a wonderful person, too."

He laughs. "He's also quite the boaster. He never stops talking about how immensely talented you are. I must say, after listening to you sing, I highly agree with him."

You must be pale in the face. "You've heard me sing?"

"Taehyung likes to play videos of you singing while he draws— it's the only thing he listens to, quite frankly. At least when he's here. He's convinced practically everyone in the theatre to listen to you."

Videos of you singing? Multiple videos? When did Taehyung take videos of you singing? You pause for a moment, taking a glance at your champagne to remind yourself that Kim Namjoon is talking to you, and you should probably answer before it becomes awkward.

He speaks again before you have the chance.

"You have a wonderful voice… one that should be recognized." He states as a matter of fact, nodding before he takes a sip of champagne.

That's the moment you remember who got you the audition in London in the first place… the man standing directly in front of you.

"I— oh my gosh, I can't thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to audition in London." You shake your head, excitement bubbling in your chest. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I sincerely thank you."

Namjoon raises his hand, brushing off your thanks. "No need to thank me. Your talent got you that audition."

"I wouldn't have been able to audition if it weren't for you." You insist.

"I wouldn't have heard you sing if it weren't for Taehyung— so really, you should be thanking him and his love for you. He's very vocal about your talent… and very vocal about wanting you to succeed." Namjoon smiles, taking another sip. Little does he know, your head is spinning at his words.

You should be thanking him and his love for you.

"Y/n!"

With a quick turn of your gaze, the same Taehyung who's occupying your thoughts is making his way across the lobby and grabbing onto your hand. His words are almost a blur to you— you can barely think straight.

"Sorry to interrupt," he apologizes, offering Namjoon a smile. "Do you mind if I steal her from you?"

Taehyung stands beside you in front of his drawing while holding your hand. Onlookers pass by with pleased expressions, studying his art before carrying on with their journey around the theatre. The room smells of champagne and vanilla, with a mix of the woodsy cologne that is sunk into the lapels of Taehyung's suit. Your head is still spinning from the previous conversation with the theater owner, and his scent does nothing to calm you down…

Did Taehyung tell Namjoon that he loves you?

Taehyung must not notice your inner overthinking, too busy conversing with guests and talking about his work. It's only until you hear your name brought up in a conversation that you come back to reality.

"Y/n is an incredible singer. No doubt she'll be on this stage soon!" Taehyung expresses confidently, giving your hand a squeeze.

"You'll have to make her sing for us someday soon!" A woman in her thirties responds, casting you a glance with a gentle smile. "We'd love to hear your voice!"

You smile in return with a quick "thank you," a hint of bashfulness sneaking its way into your bones. It was one thing for Taehyung to talk about you— but truth be told, the last thing you wanted to do was talk about yourself. Taehyung made it look easy, seeing as he brought your voice up in conversations with nearly every guest who stopped to admire his work.

It wasn't until everyone was asked to be seated that he finally halts his boasting and walks you towards your seats. Front row seats. Center stage. The red curtain hides the magic beyond, staring at you in the face and making your excitement rise.

Within minutes, the theatre is open and a symphony is playing a medley of all different art pieces in theatre. Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, Guys and Dolls, My Fair Lady, and even mixing in modern works such as Hadestown, Dear Evan Hansen, and more. Every time you'd sit up straighter at the sound of a familiar tune, Taehyung would steal a glance at you. He's running his thumb along the skin of your hand.

The night is magical, yes, but it's nothing compared to the magic that is seated beside you. Which sounds cliche- extremely cliche,you realize - but it couldn't be more true.

Your feet hurt. Damn those cream heels. Taehyung had offered to take a cab with you back home, just to make sure you got in okay— but you insisted that you walk. You didn't want him spending money on you and truth be told, the theatre wasn't too far, so you weren't about to spend money on a cab either.

This night was everything you dreamed it would be. The music is still thrumming in your bones and it's almost as if you can still hear the violins singing in your ears. You're so proud of Taehyung and his accomplishments, he deserved this. He earned the recognition. He deserves to be happy… and judging by the toothy grin on his face, you would assume that the night was everything he dreamed it would be as well.

"Thank you for coming with me," Taehyung speaks into the night. You don't know why he's thanking you, seeing as he was the one who invited you to a party filled with people you've dreamed of meeting for years. Younger you who played Little Red Riding Hood in Into The Woods used to daydream about a night like this– a night filled with sparkly lights and surrounded by people you looked up to. The only thing missing was your favorite Broadway actor, Jeremy Jordan, kissing you on the cheek and confessing his love for you…

You could care less about Jeremy now.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world." You smile, dipping to slide your smaller hand into his.

It's quiet for a moment, the two of you lost in thought as you make your way down, avoiding tourists who ooh and ahh at the Gershwin Theatre nearby. Finally, Taehyung breaks the comfortable silence.

"What time are you leaving for the airport tomorrow?" Something in his voice sounds like he doesn't want to hear your answer.

"Eight in the morning." You respond, your own tone of disappointment seeping through.

He clears his throat, turning his eyes to see someone walking up to their apartment building. His hand feels colder. His breathing is kind of uneven. For a second, you think he might be on the verge of a panic attack before he asks something unexpected.

"Can you go another day?"

You smile at the notion that he doesn't want you gone just yet, squeezing his hand tightly in your excitement-

"Like maybe you can catch a flight tonight? I can drive you there right now."

Oh.

Now you're confused.

With your sudden silence, Taehyung turns his head in your direction. You're staring straight forward, gathering the thoughts that he sent running across the city. If he doesn't want you to stay, why would he mention changing the flight date? Why would he want you to leave sooner? This makes no sense.

Is he not happy with you? Did you do something tonight that bothered him?

"Y/n." He cuts off your ragged thoughts. "If I could convince you to stay, I would… but I know this is your dream, and I want you to chase it." His eyes are glossy, the lights of the city reflecting in the coffee brown hues. He continues, his voice is shaking slightly (must be because of the cold). "But I think there's gonna be some bad weather tomorrow and maybe tonight would be a… safer bet?"

Bad weather? You didn't see anything on the radar? You've been checking the news often to ensure this flight wouldn't get delayed. You're already a worrywart when it comes to flying, so of course you would make sure that nothing would make you attempt to crawl out of the aircraft. You don't remember hearing anything about disruptive weather.

"I've been up to date with the news, though - I haven't heard anything about the weather?"

Still, you pull out your golden-cased phone (because of course you had to buy a case for the occasion) and check the weather. Clear skies. Which you show to Taehyung, but he seems unconvinced.

"I just– heard something, I don't know."

He's acting weird.

"Is something wrong?" You question softly, halting your footprints from butchering the snow's crystallized surface. Taehyung stops for a moment, unable to turn his gaze to you. The cloud that proves that he's breathing pauses, then continues, then pauses again. Was something actually wrong? Over the course of your relationship, you've found that you're extremely good at reading people… or is it that Taehyung just sucks at hiding his feelings?

Finally, he turns to you, a smile present on his face as he shakes his head– you try to stop your brain from realizing how ethereal he looks; now is not the time.

"Nothings wrong. I just want to make sure you're safe."

He's lying. You know it, but nonetheless, you don't question him further, pressing a hesitant kiss on his cheek to reassure yourself.

----

December 15th

With the last pair of socks (reindeer socks) stuffed deeply into your suitcase pocket, making you question if you would be able to close this thing, you finally finish packing for London. If you were excited last night, it's nothing compared to right now. Your heart has been doing backflips, unable to control your overwhelming elation and flooded thoughts. Your life is going to change tomorrow. You're auditioning for a West End production. Even though you know this is true, you still feel as if you're dreaming.

You would be lying if you said that you weren't sad to leave Taehyung… not being able to see him every day was not going to feel good, especially since you finally got over yourselves and outwardly confessed your feelings. It was going to be weird not having him there with you. Taehyung hasn't texted you since last night, which is unlike him… and you're trying so hard not to let it get to you. Especially since you already have enough to worry about. Still, you kind of hoped he would bring you to the airport to say goodbye.

Before you let it ruin your mood, you stuff yet another pair of socks into the overflowing suitcase before deciding that you're actually done. You could never have enough socks anyway.

Wheeling your suitcase toward the door, you turn to look back into your quiet and small apartment. The mustard yellow couch (which you thought would look extremely ugly but ended up being the best furniture choice in your entire apartment) sits vacantly, magazines rest on your kitchen counter, and the plant that Jimin had gifted to you last night once the opening was over stands proudly in the windowsill.

You remember the way Jimin bounced in front of you with the unwrapped present, explaining that the yellow color of the flowers meant “success” with an unbeatable sense of pride. You're going to miss everything about being in New York.

It's only a month. You'll be okay.

Taehyung's voice greets your thoughts; a memory from last night when he dropped you off at your door pops into your head.

"You're going to do amazing things…." He had said, a warm smile sitting on those lips you already missed. "And you're going to see me sitting in the front row at your first Broadway show… I promise."

You smile gently at the memory, remembering the feeling of his lips on yours before you pushed him down the hallway and out the door. He would've stayed on your doorstep all night if you hadn't.

With newfound confidence, you reach for the door handle and open the door.

And suddenly you're frozen, suitcase in hand.

Hazy, red-rimmed watery brown eyes are staring back at you, a shaking fist elevated as if he was going to knock on your door at any given moment. Taehyung is wearing the same suit he wore to the opening yesterday, his hair mussed up as he studies your concerned expression.

Did he… Did he not leave last night?

"Taehyung, what are you-"

"Don't go."

Your eyes skim up, glancing into his. They're wide, you notice… almost desperate. The more you stare, the more you realize just how red they are, shaking with the quivering of his lips. You swear you can hear your heart breaking…

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" You question.

Taehyung shakes his head slowly, releasing a deep breath that you think he's been holding all night. Honestly, you're starting to get a little freaked out… Did something happen when he tried to go home last night? Is he breaking up with you? Oh gosh, maybe he is breaking up with y—

"Please don't go." He repeats.

You study his eyes, trying to see if they're speaking words more than his mouth is… all you can see is deep-rooted fear and desperation. You're confused.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Just— please, do not get on that plane and just stay here for another few days." His voice is hushed as he's moving his way through your doorway and gently stealing your suitcase from within your hand.

Despite the tears that hug at his lash line, you can't help but feel the tiniest bit of amusement at his babbling. You know you're going to miss him while you're gone… but-

"Are you gonna miss me that much?" You smile, sinking closer to him as you place your hands on his shoulders. "Do you like me that much?"

You wish you could say that he's smiling back at you, but truth be told, this is the most serious expression you've seen on his beautiful face.

He's quick to respond. "This isn't about that…." He's also quick to remove your hands from his shoulders, backing you farther away from the door and towards the couch. He looks even more terrified in close proximity and it’s easy to register the beating of his heart, fast and heavy, between your linked hands.

Something is seriously wrong.

"What's going on?" You question hesitantly, your smile vanishing from your face.

"Just don't go, okay? You have to trust me on this." He begs with a choked up voice, glancing at your bag before removing it from your shoulder with now quick and frazzled hands. Stopping him before he can remove it completely, you grab the sides of his face.

"Hey, hey— stop. You have to tell me what's going on." You speak firmly. That's the moment you feel your heart drop to the floor... because his body is shaking hard between your palms. It nearly has you dropping everything and obeying his every plea… but your stubbornness is quick to step in. "I'm gonna be late for my flight, Tae. I've got to- "

He cuts you off. "I just don't think this is a good idea. It probably won't turn out the way that you want it to."

You're dumbfounded. Is he saying you're not gonna make it?

"Wha-" You laugh humorlessly, letting your bag drop to the crook of your elbow. "What?"

"Maybe it's just better to stay here."

The one person who's been rooting for you this entire time is suddenly deciding to take back everything he said?

"You've been pushing me since the moment we met to follow my dreams, and now you're telling me that it probably won't work out?" You scoff, eyebrows cinching in confusion.

He winces openly, his eyes squeezing shut. "I- No. That's not what I'm saying—"

"Then what are you saying exactly?"

The volume of your voice is getting louder, obviously catching Taehyung off guard since he pauses for a moment with nervous eyes, mouth hanging open. You don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this, but the desperation on his face is prominent as a single tear falls down his cheek.

Don't give in, Y/n. He's being an asshole.

"I just think it's smarter to stay here." He repeats.

And for you, that's not good enough. You're quick to pick your stuff up, hoisting your bag back onto your shoulder as you move Taehyung backward towards the door. He’s attempting to stop you, but the suitcase greets your hands once he's in the doorway. No way in hell were you not going. What is he even on about? Why is he being like this?

"Why are you being like this?"

"I'm trying to protect you." You try to ignore the tears in his eyes as he stares at you hopelessly, his hands attempting to reach for your suitcase before you roll it away from his pursuit with a scoff.

"Taehyung." You say shortly. "Move."

Yet when you try to move past him, he doesn't budge an inch, and he's gripping onto the sides of the doorway like a traffic barricade. Preventing you from dangers that probably don't exist. Your patience is wearing thin.

"Move."

Nothing.

"Move!"

He cracks. "No— No! I can't lose you again!"

This has your stubbornness wavering. You can't remember the last time you saw someone so worked up… so scared. Still, his comment throws you.

"What do you mean again?" You question, confusion tugging at your facial features when Taehyung goes completely silent.

He's staring at you. Standing still. Staring at you in a way that takes you back to the first day you met him at the cafe. The day he looked like he saw a ghost. The day you were scared of him and thought he was some kind of insane person… But now? Now, he's genuinely crumbling. Now he looks like a lost child asking for help, begging to find his home again.

That's when he breaks down.

With his arms reaching around you, pulling you into his chest, Taehyung releases a quiet cry. A sound you never wanted to hear. His whole body is shaking, quivering in your hold as you attempt to soothe him with a hesitant hand on his back. Still, he's clinging to you like a lifeline, gripping onto every last fragment of you that he can.

It's even becoming difficult to breathe.

"Please…" He cries. "Please don't go."

"Tae…" You speak softly, unable to focus on the time when he's crying harshly into your jacket-covered shoulder. He’s not just crying over you leaving. No, this is something more. "What the hell is going on?"

He removes himself, tears streaming down his face as he holds you by your shoulders. It takes everything in you not to bring him back into the hug… to dry his tears and tell him that everything's going to be okay. Now, you're not so sure.

"Listen," he sniffs, "I have no clue what's going on. I've been so confused since I saw you in the cafe again. That wasn’t the first time I met you and all I know is that you can't get on that plane because it will crash and you will die, so I need you to just stay here for a couple more days, please."

The plane will crash? You'll die? Your confusion only doubles as you try to remain calm; you don't want to call him a liar— but this is so unrealistic that it nearly makes you laugh out loud. Does he think you're stupid? Naive?

"How the hell would you know?" You question.

He pauses, the nervous habit of licking his lower lip returning. You're confused, angry, annoyed, and concerned all at once-- and here he is, being quiet as a mouse, unable to utter the explanation you so desperately want to hear.

"Taehyung-"

"Because I've lived this day before." He blurts.

Now you're quiet, your mind completely jumbled as you try to understand the words coming out of his mouth. Everything he's saying is making no sense… Nonetheless, he continues.

"I don't know how but I–" He shakes his head, red-rimmed eyes falling to the floor. "God, I'm living this nightmare all over again."

Confusion is an understatement.

"What are you saying?" You ask.

"Y/n…" He's now looking at you, his lips trembling as he attempts to catch his breath. It's as if everything he's been holding back from saying is nipping at the back of his teeth, hounding its way to his lips, and trying to escape through his mouth.

And then, he lets go.

"I’m a time traveler."

next chapter (coming soon…)

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quindolyn · 3 years

Text

General Relationship Headcanons || Sirius Black

”Request: hi, love! i adore your new remus headcanon and i was wondering if you could write a general relationship headcanon with sirius black? if not, that’s completely fine. have a good day!

Notes: Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m sorry this took me a little longer than I anticipated but I also went really over the top, it’s twice the length of my Remus Headcanon I just got really into it. I was once again inspired to write Dad!Marauders so maybe I’ll get around to that. I wanted to thank you all for such positive feedback on my Remus Headcanon. I hope you enjoy this. Also thank you anon, I love you.

Warnings: fluff, smut, a bit of angst, canon can go fuck itself, Sirius Black deserves to be happy, not proof read because I wrote most of this in one sitting and didn’t have the heart to go back and reread. The ending is a little choppy

Masterlist

Sirius Black was never shown enough love as a child

Even at age 11 you were able to pick that up, when you were dragged into a train car with four other first years. James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black

He seemed nervous, he kept on looking out the window of the train car and fiddling with his fingers

James tries desperately to get everyone to talk, he feels likes he’s responsible for forging your guy’s friendship

Remus, Peter, he, and you hit it off immediately and you see Sirius smile at some of your jokes out of the corner of your eye but he’s nearly trembling

When you guys start talking about what houses you want to be sorted into he turns green

And when James says how he doesn’t want to be sorted into Slytherin he looks like he’s about to vomit

“Are you alright?” You ask him, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder

He seems uncomfortable with the contact so you move your hand away

“I’m just a little nervous” He admits that he comes from a long line of Slytherins, you offer to hex James for saying that for him, but he lets out a quick laugh and tells you it's fine

He’s actually really worried that he’s going to be sorted into Slytherin whilst simultaneously being terrified about what would happen if he gets sorted into another house.

Ravenclaw could be one thing

Hufflepuff another

But Gryffindor, that just couldn’t happen

You don’t touch him this time because you saw how he reacted last time but you reassure him that it will all be fine and no matter which house he gets sorted into you’ll still be his friend, no matter what

That earns you a real smile

A smile that takes your breath away

And even though you’re too young to understand what you’re feeling that’s when you start to fall for him.

You hold your breath while he gets sorted

Like him you feel very conflicted, you’re glad he’s not in Slytherin because of what he shared with you about his family

But at the same time you’re afraid for him

You might’ve only known him for a couple of hours but you have an inexplicable attraction to him and the idea of him being so scared breaks your heart

If you’re a Gryffindor he sits next to you and the others but doesn’t really say much because he’s too busy trying to figure out what he’s going to do

If you’re in a different house then you send him a smile across the Great Hall and go to find him after the feast

“How are you doing Sirius?”

He brushes you off, tells you he’s fine but you can tell he’s not, you let it go though and decide to give him his space, telling him that if he ever needs to talk you’ll listen

The next day in the Great Hall he receives a Howler from his mother, telling him how much of a useless disappointment he is. He plays it cool like it doesn’t really bother him but you can tell that he’s hurt and it makes you unbelievably sad

Your first lesson that day is together and though you sit with one of your dorm mates and he sits with James, you watch him the entire time, you just can’t seem to pry your eyes off of him.

As the year goes on and he starts to come to terms with what his life is going to be like now, he starts to come more and more out of his shell

Answering questions in class, laughing boisterously with his friends during meals, hexing people in the corridors, pranking Slytherins for shits and giggles

But it’s almost as though he’s forgotten about you, he smiles at you when he sees you in the halls or in classes but he doesn’t actively seek you out like you wished he would.

And you’re too scared to because you told him that you would always be there if needed someone to talk to but he hasn’t come to you yet

So that obviously means that he doesn’t want to talk to you

And that’s fine

You’re not going to force a friendship

You still study with Remus in the library

And talk with James about his day when you bump into him

And help Peter if he’s having trouble in a class

But you and Sirius don’t seem to click the same as you do with the rest of them

This continues through your second year until about 5 weeks into your third year.

At this point he’s starting to physically mature a bit, not a lot, that doesn’t come for a few more years, but his shoulders get a little broader, he gets a little taller, his legs start growing hair.

Girls start paying him attention, and more attention than the harmless crushes from previous years

His blossoming looks paired with his wit and sarcasm have every single person in his grade and younger turning their head to take a second look

Sirius being the humble soul he is-

No I’m just fucking with you

Being the little shit that he is, all of this just goes to his head

And he becomes even more insufferable than he was

But you’ve never found him insufferable, not really

You just told yourself that because it was easier than confronting your feelings for him

One day he, James, Remus, and Peter pull a prank that ends up with you covered in quill ink while on your way to Herbology

You weren’t their intended target

You still spoke quite a bit with three of them

It really was just a prank gone awry

But it still sucked

You stalked back to your dorm abandoning your friends in the hallway, not making eye contact with any one as you passed by

Sirius noticed this

He couldn’t stop himself from watching as you jogged down the hallway

Head down

Trying to evade people’s gazes

He’d barely talked with you in 2 years but he was hit by a tremendous feeling of guilt

He hadn’t meant to upset you, he really hadn’t

So he told the others that he wouldn’t be attending History of Magic that day (what else is new?)

And instead took off for you down the hallway

Never mind your house, when you come back down into the common room after taking a shower there’s Sirius Black, lounging on a sofa like he owns the damned place, looking around the room, taking in every little detail if it's not his common room. If it is the Gryffindor common room then he’s staring up at the girl’s staircase, waiting for you to come down.

When you see him you blush

“Si-Sirius, what are you doing here?”

Immediately you become more aware of your appearance, fixing your hair and straightening out your skirt.

“I just wanted to apologize (Y/N) we didn’t mean for that prank to backfire onto you, we’d never do that to you, it was meant for Snivileus-”

“Severus”

“Yeah sure, whatever. What’s important is that you know that I didn’t mean for that to hurt you, I’m sure the other boys will apologize too I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry”

Does Sirius Black look… nervous?

“It’s fine Black, really I was just having a bad day.”

He doesn’t know why but your usage of his last name is like a knife to the chest, why wasn’t he just Sirius?

Then he remembered, because he’d barely spoken to you in the past 2 years

“I’d like to make it up to you though.”

You turn him down, telling him that that’s not necessary, you’re fine

But he’s not having it, so the next day when you sit down for breakfast you find yourself surrounded by not only Sirius but all of them

They’re acting like this is completely normal but you’re lost

What the hell are they doing?

“Making it up to you of course”

Suddenly they’re everywhere, he’s everywhere

The others were already friendly with you so its not as much of a difference

But all of a sudden Sirius Black is everywhere

Eating meals with you until you relent and come sit with him and the other Marauders at their spot at the Gryffindor table

Suddenly he’s hefting the bag off your shoulder and slinging it around his

The year seems to fly by with him at your side

Sneaking you guys food from the kitchens

They show you the invisibility cloak

Pitching the idea of the Marauders map

And all of a sudden it’s the end of your 3rd year and the care free, witty Sirius you’ve come to know over the past year had morphed into someone far more reminiscent of that scared little boy you first met on the Hogwarts Express

The night before the last day of the term you find yourself alone with Sirius in the Gryffindor common room

You ask him if he’s alright, the past few days he hasn’t been acting like himself

He doesn’t have the energy to try and lie to you anymore, he lets it all out, he tells you about all the backlash since he was sorted

He tells you about Regulus

And how they don’t even talk anymore, “I can’t talk to him (Y/N), I want to but if our mother knows that he associates with me then he’ll be punished, and punishments in the Black house aren’t getting grounded they’re, unforgivable”

You gasp at the implication and reach out to touch his shoulder, but then you’re thrown back to the train and remember how uncomfortable it seemed to make him

But it’s too late, by the time you realize your hand is already on his shoulder

You start to apologize and pull it back but his hand wraps around your wrist which brings your eyes to his

They’re brimming with tears

“Don’t leave”

You pull him into your arms, raking your fingers through his hair, whispering sweet nothings into his ear

Explaining that you just didn’t want to make him uncomfortable

He tells you it's fine, he likes it when you touch him

You two sit there in silence until you think Sirius had calmed down

You tell him you’ll write to him every day

He tells you that you don’t have to do that

You still insist that you will

You two sit there for Godric knows how long but eventually you yawn and that alerts Sirius to how late it's gotten

Tells you he’s sorry that he’s kept you up so late

You tell him it’s fine, it was worth it to make sure he was okay

He blushes but its too dark for you to be able to tell

He walks you to the staircase even though it’s literally 5 feet away

“Good night Sirius”

“Good night (Y/N)”

The next day on the train back to King’s Cross you purposefully sit next to Sirius so you can keep a hand on his arm the entire time

It’s so subtle but doesn’t go unnoticed by the other Marauders

Though they decide not to mention it, he’s having a hard enough day as it is

You hate watching him trudge over to his parents when you arrive at the station, you and James exchange an understanding look.

You both care about him so much, watching him be this wretched physically hurts you

As soon as you get home you sit down and write him a letter

He told you that he probably wouldn’t be able to respond to most of your letter

And that’s fine, but every now and then you get one back

And your heart soars

You count down the days until September 1st, when you finally get to see him again

When you’ll know for certain that he’s okay

You nearly have a heart attack when you can’t find him on platform 9 ¾, but he was just already on the train with Remus and Peter, waiting for you and James to show up

As soon as you can you ask him how he is

He’s doing better than he usually is after an entire summer with Walburga and company

He thanks you profusely for the letters

You tell him not to sweat it

You’re just glad you could help

Once you know he’s okay you allow yourself to relax a little and that’s when you notice that he’s grown up quite a bit since June

His shoulders continue to broaden, his hair is longer, but he looks thin, too thin

And you want to hug him again, but you stop yourself

The sexual tension between the two of you 4th year is unbearable

And borderline uncomfortable

Poor Peter doesn’t know what to do with himself

You write to him again every single day over the winter holidays when he’s forced home to his wretched blood family

When you’re both back at Hogwarts things are even weirder than they were before

Sirius clams up every time you get near him and goes vermillion in the face

You’re sitting in the library the second Monday of the term when he approaches you

“What do you want, Sirius?” You ask without lifting your head

“You sound frustrated.”

“I am Sirius! You’ve been acting weird for a week and I’m sick of it. What do you want?”

He just sort of stands there looking at you, because he didn’t expect you to yell at him.

He’s not sure if he’s ever heard you raise your voice in his entire life.

“I should leave”

“Just tell me what it is Sirius!”

Everyone is looking at you

“This was a bad idea!”

“What is it!”

“I like you!”

This wasn’t how he imagined telling you how he felt about you

Yelling it in the library

Which a bunch of 2nd years gawking

“You what?”

He suggests you guys leave the library for somewhere more private

You agree, and he takes you down to a tree by the Black Lake

When he first told you he liked you in the library you couldn’t believe it, this boy, whom you’ve harbored a crush for for literal years, likes you too

And this isn’t just any boy, this is Sirius Black

And that’s when you remember, shit, this is Sirius Black

“This isn’t a prank or something is it?”

He starts denying it before you can even finish your sentence, it stings a little that you would think that but he understands why.

When you tell him that you return his feelings his his face breaks out into a smile and he lifts you into his arms and spins you around

“Really?”

“Yes really, now put me down please”

He sets you down but he pulls you so close to his body you can almost feel his pulse thrumming through his body

He asks to kiss you and you let him

From that day forward Sirius always has an arm around your shoulders or around your waist

He likes to pull you into his side so he can whisper things into your ear

He likes it when you perch yourself a top his thigh when he sits down

He also likes you sitting in between his legs

And he likes to sit in between yours too so he can smooth his hands up and down your calves

As you get more comfortable with touching each other, he’ll like to slink down so that his head is right in between your thighs so he can just turn his head and kiss them

Having his hands on you reminds him that you’re there, and if you’re there with him then everything is going to be fine

He’s going to get through that History of Magic Lesson

He’s going to finish that Potions essay

One day James might finally stop talking about Evans

He’s not going to bite Snape’s head off

Everything is going to be just fine

He takes you on dates to the Black Lake, you guys like to sit on the dock and dip your toes in the water, especially when it's warm and sunny out

Sirius will slip off his shirt so he can tan a bit and you’ll set your head on his chest, with your toes brushing up against the water

By the time the two of you finally got together you’d already spent multiple nights in the Marauders dorm room

But you usually slept with Remus in his bed because his was the cleanest

But now that your Sirius’ he sleeps with your head tucked under his chin, your body pulled flush against his chest, his arms have an iron grip on you, you couldn’t get out of bed even if you wanted to.

Waking up with him when he’s had a nightmare and the two of you lie there, chests pressed together, fingers tangled with each other’s, whispering about whatever you can think of

When he can’t sleep he’ll lay his head on your chest and listen to the beating of your heart to calm him down

He loves to do this with your shirt off, not in a sexual way he’s just like a baby and skin to skin contact is good for him

It centers him

He really likes sneaking into the astronomy tower with you at night to look at the stars

You murmur into each other’s ears about everything ranging from the your purpose in the cosmos to the color you should paint your nails next, he always votes red and gold, no matter your house

Painting your nails the colors of your house in spite of him if you’re not in Gryffindor

He volunteers to paint your nails once and does them in red and gold

One year for his birthday you give him a bunch of old muggle magazines your parent/guardian sent you when you wrote requesting them

The two of you lay on your stomachs, elbows bent, legs tangling with each other in the air as you skim through them

You point out the different muggle contraptions and what they do and how to use them

When you get to a mechanic magazine you have to explain to an overly excited Sirius what a motorcycle is

He becomes absolutely enamored with them and begs you for more magazines and reading materials on them

For Christmas that year you get him a miniature motorcycle that you charm to fly around his dorm room.

If you’re on your house’s Quidditch team that idiot is there every single one of your games, decked head to toe in your house colors

He also frequents your practices bringing you water and food for when you’re done

Sirius can get pretty jealous

He’s always been insecure in himself so seeing other people get to friendly with you just hits all of his buttons

He never takes it out on you, because he knows how it feels to be the object of misplaced anger

Instead Sirius will come up behind you when you’re talking to them and loop him arms around your waist, pulling you close to him

Or if you’re sitting down he’ll put his hand on your thigh

He doesn’t go overboard, it's not like if you’re talking to someone he’s going to challenge them to a duel

He just needs everyone to know that you’re his

And he doesn’t share

Letting you do his makeup once after you begged him and now he’s the one who’ll beg you

“Please Princess”

He looks so hot in eyeliner

Like no one has the right to be that good looking

And the mother fucker knows he looks good

You and James plan extravagant gifts and parties for his birthday every year because no one on this planet loves Sirius Black more than the two of you and you’re dedicated to making up for so many lost years

You and Remus bake him a cake every year and he loves blowing out all of the candles, he insists their quantity matches his age, none of that cop out bull shit where its just candles in the shape of numbers

He wants to blow out all of them

Your first birthday together Sirius has no clue what to get you, because it’s not like previous years, you’re together now so this gift has to be special, it has to be perfect

He consults everyone he can think of

Lily

James

Remus

Your dorm mates

Hell, he even writes to your family asking what he should get you

In the end they all only make it worse because he has all of these wonderful ideas and can’t choose because what if he chooses wrong and you would have preferred something else instead

So he gets you everything he can think of

You told him 3 weeks ago how you wanted to try a new quill, he’s bought you 7 different types to try out

He can’t decide whether you’d be prettier in rubies, emeralds, or diamonds so he buys you each

You wish you could say that it lets up as years pass

And it does

But only slightly

When his parents kick him out of the house James floos you instantly, tells you its Sirius and that he’s going to be fine, but he needs you

When you get to the Potter’s he’s bloody and bruised and looks like Hell

You have to stop yourself from sobbing at the sight of him

No one gets to hurt Sirius that way

Absolutely no one

When he sees you he starts crying and opens his arms for you to come to him

You help bandage him up and wipe away the dried blood

Once he’s clean and in new clothes you take his face in your hands and press your foreheads together

“I love you Siri, I love you to the moon and back.”

That’s the first time either of you have said “I love you” to the other

He starts sobbing

You pull him into your arms with his head on your chest and you pet him hair, telling him how much you love him and that he’s safe, you’re never going to let anyone touch him ever again

James comes into his room that night, neither of you are asleep, Sirius is still crying only now silently and less violently into your top

Wordlessly James slips into Sirius’ bed on the other side of him and both of you hold him all night long, telling him that he’s safe and that he’s loved, and that he never has to see his mother ever again

That he has a family right there and neither of you will ever make him feel like this

You spend the rest of the summer at the Potter’s

You and James were already good friends but you spend the rest of the holidays bonding over your love and protectiveness of Sirius

Sometimes he jokes that his girlfriend is trying to steal his best friend, but he really doesn’t mind

He loves it actually

The love and protectiveness you feel for Sirius goes both ways

He will not hesitate to kick someone’s ass for you

He often forgets that he’s a wizard at these moments and throws a punch instead of a hex

Cleaning him up after he gets into a fight and scolding him for not thinking, a professor could’ve seen him, he could still get in trouble

When you graduate Hogwarts together the Potter’s come for both him and James

He cries when they congratulate him and tell him that they’re proud of him

Your family also tells him how proud they are of him and he hugs every single person there

You guys move in together, you live a 5 minute walk from James and Lily

He doesn’t wait 2 months before he’s proposing to you

You accept of course

Engagement sex

The man was virile when you were still at Hogwarts but when you first move in together he insists you christen every single room in the house

He loves to make you scream out his name as he overstimulates you

He’s not as hard of a dom as Remus but he’s meaner, he doesn’t just mock you

He degrades you (as long as you’re comfortable with it)

He calls you every dirty name in the book

He loves to put you in barely there lingerie and make you touch yourself as he watches

Will mock you while you do it

“What puppy, your fingers aren’t making you feel good enough? Course they’re not, you’re a desperate little thing aren’t you? Need my cock in order to stretch you, make you feel good. Look at how small your fingers are, how are they supposed to do anything?”

He loves to punish you

To the point where he’ll set expectations that are impossible for you to meet so he can punish you for them

You’re both very open with what you do and do not like and try experimenting a lot

He is so kinky

Loves to edge you and watch you squirm in his grasp

Won’t let you cum until you’ve begged long enough

He loves ruining your orgasms, especially as punishment after you’ve broken one of his rules, but sometimes he does it just to be mean

He has very talented fingers and can make you cum in a matter of minutes if he wants to

Loves eating out, your little whimpers and whines make him want to just destroy you

Enjoys watching your cunt clench around nothing

Will laugh at this and smack your clit

Gets you a collar that says “puppy” or “slut” on it

He’ll tug on it with his finger to get you to look at him

Back to the engagement sex, as soon as you say yes he is on you

You jerk him off onto your tits so he can see the ring on your finger while your hand is wrapped around his dick

Breeding kink breeding kink breeding kink

Especially when Harry is born

The minute he sees you holding little baby Harry in your arms he feels the overwhelming urge to take you there

When you get home that night he tells you how gorgeous you looked with Harry and how much he wants to have a little “pup” of his own

“Gonna fill my puppy with my pups”

Makes you lay with your ass in the air once he’s cum inside you to make sure none of it gets wasted

Will plug you full

“How’s that feel puppy? Good?”

He’s always been able to get you to subspace but now its like he barely has to try, loves calling you his good girl and telling you how well you did for him

You guys don’t get pregnant immediately, which Sirius does not take well

In his mind there’s absolutely no way that you’re the problem

It must be him

He sees his inability to impregnate you as his first failure as a father

Gets really sad

You tell him how much you love him and that this isn't him failing, it could very well be you who is making it difficult to conceive

You have very soft, passionate sex that night as you ride him

He runs his hands up and down your body as you tell him how good he’s making you feel

Maybe it was that night, perhaps it was a different one but a month and a half later the Healer at St. Mungos tells you you’re pregnant

He’s ecstatic

Sirius literally can’t stop smiling

Not that he wants to

But his face almost hurts from how much he’s grinning

Sirius is the best person to have with your when you’re pregnant

He’s always making sure you’re comfortable and that you have everything you need

He’ll try out all your weird pregnancy cravings with you

Especially if you’re feeling a little shy about asking for weird combinations

He loves kissing your belly

He’ll sing French lullabies to it as he moves his hands in circles on your skin

Man never slows down as you progress through your pregnancy, watching you swell just makes him fuck you harder

At first the prospect of decorating a whole room for an infant seems mundane to him

But as soon as you and Lily are pulling out the paint swatches and wallpaper samples he gets so excited and loves helping out

He has to have James and Remus come over to help him put together the crib, he just can’t do it

When he learns he gets to buy clothes for his kid he’s so excited

He and James spend hours going through baby clothes and like with everything Sirius has a very strong opinion about this too

“No Prongs, I’m not putting my child in that, I actually like them”

When the Healer tells you you’re having twins he loses his mind

He’s so excited

Twice the clothes to buy

Twice the toys

Twice the cribs and diapers

He’s thrilled

When the baby comes he doesn’t let himself freak out because this isn’t about him

It’s about you and your baby

He holds your hand the entire time and lets you squeeze however hard you’d like to

Kisses your knuckles and tells you how good of a job you’re doing

You’re in labor for 15 hours

And it nearly kills him

Seeing you in so much pain makes him physically unwell

He wishes he could take away all of your pain for you

But he can’t, so he does what he can

Feeding you ice chips

Massaging your back

He read somewhere that orgasming can help speed along labor

So he does what he does best and makes you cum a few times on his fingers

It's possible that that’s what actually worked

It could’ve also been something entirely different, but he will claim it was making you cum, that finally worked

Your son is born first, and as much as Sirius would’ve been happy with whatever sex, his heart swells with pride to know that he just produced the first half-blood heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black

Next is your little girl

He cries when he sees her

She’s so beautiful, and looks just like you

The two of you sit there kissing and doting on your children for hours until you eventually pass out because you just pushed two humans out of your body

Fast forwarding a bit, the first time his daughter, who has him wrapped around her finger, calls him “Dada” his heart swells and he looks over at you but you’re already staring at him, tears in your eyes you whisper to him

“You’re doing a good job”

tagging: @randomoutsiders

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