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#that thing about people deciding in writing during quarantine? Yes. Basically
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[WIP] Dolled up. (I think.) Half of first chapter.
TW: Violence (They are figthing.) Dealing with injuries. Wounds. Blood. No medical experience so, all of this could be very well absolutely wrong and very worthy of cringe. Mention of death. Body horror? I think? There is a very ugly looking monster. And I wrote how I imagined them to look, so... 
The blackened earth was smoking, the greyish thing going high to the darkened sky. Rubble was everywhere, disaster and chaos claiming what once seemed to be a very calm forest. Animals carcass lithered the burned ground, and Shadow worried for a while that maybe there wasn’t going to be anything growing in a very long time, and seeing how far the damage extended, it really was concerning.
Or, maybe not.
Strange things happening in Mobius was something Shadow was becoming used to. Things that should not happen were the normal here. People, Mobians and Humans for equal, had learned to stop questioning the around.
If it wasn’t something dangerous, then let it be.
He still hadn’t get the hang of it. But.
Well.
He gazed softly at the half burned bunnies and half dead squirrels (and that one bear.) praying softly in a low voice for them and the destroyed natural bunch of flowers and grass that were...well, everywhere. The smell of burning wood and fallen trees marked the path for him to walk, were the fight sounds have already subsided. Looking over himself, and deciding that he wasn’t that bad as if for not being able to continue, he quickly stood up, shaking softly as he ran to get rid of annoying dirt, fallen quills, hairs, rocks, and well, dried (And not so dried.) blood.
He just hoped he wasn’t going to find bugs crawling on him later on.
What remained of the big bio mechanical beast he and his companion had been battling was on the ground. All three of them had fallen at great heights, a stronger that he expected punch with long claws making him slip and fall before they stopped. It had hurt, a lot, more because they had been battling for quite the while, and he got the hit directly in already bruised areas. He had been dizzy, and unable to stand up or answer Sonic scream asking if he was okay.
There may be a few broken bones or strained, sprained muscles. A few burned patches, no doubt. Scratch’s, cuts, and bruises that were going to get swollen and hurt like a bitch.
He didn’t think there was internal bleeding? But maybe it was too soon to say?
Sticks broke under his skates, flowers and thick logs that have been throw around as spectators of the battle. The beast laid unmoving, debris all around. He could see a destroyed house not very far, an un-salvable fence and what could be a garden. He could hear some animals screaming near, and the desperate chirping of new baby birds whose parents had fled during the altercate.  
Feeling guilty, he made a mental note to try and search for them, see who could be saved and what needed to be put out of its misery.
— Shadow! — He heard Sonic screech, and quickly wiped around, trying to find from where the blue menace was screaming. He didn`t find him, but he, however, was found indeed.
Just that not by a very tired looking blue cute hedgehog, but by a miserable looking thing that tried to call itself a cyborg. The beast, no doubt an hybrid made in an experimental laboratory seemed to have lost itself in pain, and its feral stare cut sharply to unfocused hazy red eyes.
Fuck.
He dodged the attack with a pant, his body complaining at the every move. It seemed it had finally snapped, as it didn’t mind anymore the pain it felt. It barely growled at him when with a good punch, he managed to take off one of its various mechanical arms.
There was nothing under it, and the view evidently made Shadow feel very uneasy and uncomfortable, because at least there, there should be something. Uneasy enough to make him falter just a bit, and almost get his nose bitten. He got it licked, though.
Was he being mocked?
Was he a joke to Cyborg-thingy?
Falling down hard on his already hurting tail, he barely reacted in time to block its big maw with his skates, clawed hands digging on the soil beneath him as if to not get pushed around. He flexioned, bringing his knees to his chest in the most unexpected moment, making it lose balance for a second.
The second he needed to yank and make it fall forward hard, almost flying over his head.
Shadow felt like screaming, the agony on his body and that twist he did that pulled hard on already sensitive muscles was a lot to deal with, more with his old, still healing, wounds. He lifted his head from the ground, trying to look out for Sonic, wondering where the fuck was his ally. He found him battling with those annoying smoll winged beasts a good few meters apart from where he was, smile all but gone and seriously attacking those bitches.
He made a face, because Shadow barely could fight them without getting nightmares or feeling shivers running down his spine, not that, well, anyone knew. Those things creeped him out. Like. Really. Maybe it was how crazy their eyes looked? How...red? The scars and metal plates peppered over their bodies? The scary looking stiches on mismatched skin? The dark-feeling chaos energy they had?
His stomach lurched just thinking about them.
— Disgusting. — He muttered. They really made him nervous and tense.
"When something was so annoying, it was almost pleasant seeing them disappear or die." It just...He couldn’t get that feeling completely when battling them. Even so.
Erm.
Mh, Wasn`t Sonic being a tad too much on them? He seemed almost...angry?
Maybe he should follow his example. He just needed...5 more seconds. You know. Catch his breath. Swallow back his liver. Pray it goes to where it belong.
Cry?
The usual.
A loud creaking noise made him open his eyes abruptly, and he looked back at his own beast.
Did this dude didn’t know when to give up?
Or how to die?
He rolled out of the way, avoiding a tree being send flying his way. It crashed, hard, close the chaotic house.
Shadow could barely spare it a thought, though. Not when it sprinted towards Sonic, apparently deciding that Shadow was too much of a rough cookie and needed to try his luck somewhere else.
— Nope! — He muttered, standing up as well with a big effort. — Idiot! Wa-Watch out! — He screamed to his distracted rival. Or tried to. He could barely talk. He was becoming dizzy once again.
This was. Concerning. Had he got his head--? Forget it. Of course he did.
Skating the distance between them, he outran the beast, breathing hard, and started trying to attack it, or distract it. He stabbed, punched, pulled, heck, even gave a bite, but the thing ignored him, as if Shadow were nothing but a mere bug. Sonic had long noticed them, but the flying things didn’t left him a chance to go away. They clipped his skin, and avoided his spins. Didn’t reacted to his quills, and clawed at him, don’t letting him leave.
They were so many, it almost looked like a private tornado. Every time Sonic got one down, two more would pop out of nowhere and take its place. They were flying around him, circling, going high and then diving in attack. In made it hard to see Sonic.
Clinging hard to a bit of fur, Shadow managed to climb it. It started to pay him more attention, but didn’t change his direction, adamant in attacking Sonic. Unsteadily, he made his way and managed to make a deep cut on its neck. Digging his claws, he tried to break it. Make it quickly, and stop its pain.
Just end it. Give it peace.
The beast let out a big roar, and his shaking almost threw him at the ground before honestly scared green eyes. A few flying things started to attack him, making it harder to stay put. He really didn’t know if the blood he was seeing mating the beast fur was his, its, or from them.
Because he was kicking their asses as well, yes sir.
He squeezed harder, and the beast tripped and twisted with a yowl. Shadow had to jump before he got crushed beneath it, tackling Sonic on his way, as well, getting both of them out of the way of the beast by rolling on the ground…and well… rocks and branches.
One word.
Ouch.
No good. Really.
No good.
The winged ones flew all around them, in a very messy and menacing mayhem. A lot of them were surrounding The beast, clinging and... Were they taking off with it?
Their wings were beating them, flashes of green, brown, red, metal grey and blue all around. Even the sky above was darkened because of them. They clipped Sonic hands, arms, face, Shadows ears, back. Their screeching was disorienting, painful on sensitive hedgehog hearing.
This time it was Shadow who got pushed to the ground, his whines of agony washed out for all the noise, Sonic rolling them out of the way of a big, big, Winged One. He got a nasty cut (With a sting powerful enough to steal a high yelp of pain) on his side thanks to it, and a push forceful enough to throw him off Shadow and make them roll a bit. Two of them flew way to low, making both of them duck their heads and, in consequence, leaving them unable to see the next attack before too late.
Sharp claws pierced the skin on Shadow back, making him actually scream thanks to the excruciating pain and scaring the ever loving shit out of Sonic, who immediately reached out. Shadow clung to Sonic arms when his body was lifted from the ground. Sonic yelped as well, panic flowing through his body and mind as his upper part was lifted too and couldn’t find purchase with his shoes for 2 petrifying seconds. They weren’t taking Shadow from him.
They couldn’t.
Sonic refused. ___ Hi? Im sorry if this seems like too much, but im proud of how this is coming out, so ! Yes. I just dont know if I should publish only Tumblr. 
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PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?
What is Pridefall?
Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.
Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.
Is Pridefall real?
Yes and no.
I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.
However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.
I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).
What do you think, Lia?
This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.
Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.
The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.
A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.
My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.
There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.
However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.
A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.
Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.
There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.
That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.
I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.
There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.
This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.
Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.
How can I stay safe?
If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.
If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.
It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.
Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.
Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.
DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.
Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.
Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.
Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.
Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.
Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.
Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.
Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.
Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!
Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:
-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.
-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.
-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.
-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.
-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.
-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.
🌈 Stay safe, everyone.
You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
-Mod Lia
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mayisani · 4 years
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Timmy & Y/N podcast
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A/N: Thank you so much for all the love on California Sun. Hope you enjoy this new imagine. I was inspired by listening to podcasts so I decided to write one about if timmy had a podcast with y/n. I’m also thinking about making this a series which will basically will just be them talking about different topics. Send in requests if you like. Anyways hope you’ve had a lovely day and enjoy reading. 💕
Warning: Mentions of sex, fluff, cuss words
Word Count: 1692
Update Part 2 OUT NOW!
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During quarantine you had been quarantining with Timothée your Manhattan apartment. Which you were very grateful that had already been living together. You both laid in bed cuddling each other and your two bunnies that you had recently adopted right before lockdown.
“What if we did start a podcast I mean we have more than enough time on our hands. Plus, we can donate the money to Charities. And it will let us be more connected to everyone. I’ve already talked to my team and they think it’s a great idea. So, I’m a go.”
You looked over completely at him having the biggest smile on your face. “Wait you’re being serious right now?! I mean you know this is what I’ve been wanting and talking about for some time now.”
A couple of days later
Timmy had just finish setting up all the podcast equipment.
“Okay so I’ll post about this podcast on my twitter and Instagram and you can post on your socials.”
“Sounds perfect.”
You walked out to the balcony and started posting on Twitter and Instagram saying that you’ll be starting a podcast with Timmy soon to be able to raise more money apart from what you’re already able to donate. You walked back into the room and saw Timmy sitting down ready to record. You sat down next to him and put on headphones. Timmy started recording.
“Hey guys it’s Timothée.”
“And Y/N, and welcome to the podcast.”
“We’re live from New York. So, I know many of you are probably very confused right now on why we’re starting a podcast out of nowhere. Mainly because we’re both pretty private people. But we know we’re going through hard times so we wanted to raise money for charity so we are able to donate more.”
“Yes, this is all for a very good cause plus we thought it’d be a good time to connect with you guys since that’s what you’ve all been asking for so we’re now finally going to deliver. Also thank you for getting us trending on twitter.”
“Well this mainly going to just be a co-existing podcast so don’t expect much from us. But I do want to thank you all for being overall pretty respectful about my relationship with Y/N.”
“A lot of you have been wondering how Timmy and I meet. That was about 5 years ago we meet out in Seattle which was basically destiny because as you know neither of us live or have lived in Seattle. We were there randomly traveling I was with my best friend and Timmy was there with his sister Pauline.”
“Yea I was there with Pauline since she was out there doing a film she was working on at the time. I was basically dragged there because I didn’t want to go not because I didn’t want to be with Pauline but because I had some stupid party. And honestly, I don’t even know why I wanted to go I mean I didn’t even know the people who were hosting it I just heard about it through Ansel. But anyways getting back on track Pauline convinced me and I ended up going with her to Seattle.”
“So, if you’re listening thank you Pauline thank you for dragging your stubborn brother along.”
“Hey I’m not stubborn…” You let out a chuckle “Okay okay maybe I am a little stubborn.”
“We basically met through Pauline because she saw me at some restaurant and I guess loved my look for her film which I don’t know why. But she took me over to the hotel she was staying at to talk about the film and then Timmy comes into the room and he basically was just staring at me the entire time.”
“I mean what do you expect I was just coming back from eating at some small shop in Pike Place Market and I walk into my hotel room and see a stunning woman.”
“Honestly Timmy was not scared to talk to me at all. He was very upfront well we both were.”
“I mean I don’t really believe in playing hard to get I mean what’s the point in that if you like each other go for it you’re not going to win anything for it.”
“So, after that we became friends pretty quickly we got into a serious relationship.”
“I mean I knew I wanted to be with you since the moment I walked into the hotel and I didn’t want to waste precious time or risk losing you to some dude.” You were blushing bright red being touched by his sweet words.
“Okay so now that you basically know how we met I’m going to look at some questions that I screenshotted and ask to Timmy.” You turned on your phone and looked at the questions.
Username1: Why was your relationship so private for quite some time.
“Well at the time I was starting off as an actor we were already very serious. But at the time I honestly thought it wasn’t that important. Our relationship was an if you know you know situation. And we could have stayed like that for a longer time but about a year ago or two I really started to blow up everyone was seeing my work which I will forever be grateful for don’t get me wrong. But the reason I decided to confirm it publicly was because Y/N was getting a lot of hate and death threats. And I of course didn’t want to cause any more pain to her. I mean I’m madly in love with this girl, I don’t want to be the reason for her unsafety and pain. But I’m grateful that once I confirmed everything, things started to calm down. Y/N was no longer seen in a bad light or some random girl.”
“Those were very tough times but I always had Timmy with me so it made things bearable. And once people starting seeing me for me I gained a lot of love, support, and respect which is more than I expected that I’d get but I’m grateful that I did.”
Timmy grabbed your phone and read out the next question
Username2: What relationship advice do you give?
“Well firstly I think it’s very important to have trust. Don’t build your relationship on lies that’s a horrible foundation. I mean Timmy knows basically everything about me and likewise. I’ll be peeing and he’ll be shaving there’s no boundaries in our relationship really. We tell everything to each other we’re very close.”
“Definitely trust is important in a relationship but I know what I’m going to say isn’t going to be the best advice but personally for me I knew Y/N was who I’d wanted to be with. I mean within a month into our relationship I knew I wanted to move on with her, marry her, and start a family. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you can see all that with the person you’re seeing then you have a good relationship.”
“Here’s another one”
Username3: How often should you have sex in relationships?
You quickly became very quiet so Timothée took over the question.
“I’ll probably only be answering this question since Y/N is over here blushing. But it has a simple answer whenever you both feel like having sex. If you both want it, then you’re good and one if you don’t then you’re not good why because consent is everything.”
“I mean if you want to fuck then fuck there’s not much stopping you.”
“Look at y/n finally joining the conversation but yup in conclusion have sex whenever you both want to.”
Username4: Do you guys want any kids?
“Funny thing so we recently got bunnies two to be exact we named them clouds and moon. So, he’s seen my motherly side and this has caused him to constantly be like Y/N let’s have a baby. And of course, I want to have kids but right now is not the best time to have kids.”
“Well I know it’s not the best times but I really do want kids and I always have and always will want kids. I know kids isn’t for everyone but it is something we both want so no worries it’s just we need to get timing right.”
“I think that this will be the end for this episode we will have more episodes coming out soon of course. So, thank you to everyone who stuck around and put up with this. We promise we’ll get better at this so don’t worry.”
Timmy turned off the recording equipment and put it all away.
You walked over and sat on your bed your back resting on the headboard. You got onto Instagram and went live.
“Hey guys Timmy and I just finished recording the first episode to our podcast which we’ll be naming Timmy & Y/N I know pretty original of us. But we’re excited for this new journey. So, for the next couple of hours we’ll be editing and then our podcast will be posted onto all the places where you can listen to podcasts.” Timmy was laying his head on your shoulder being silent reading all the comments.
Username5: Hi loves hope you’re both staying safe
Username6: Timothée what do you think about tik tik
Username7: Are you guys going to join tik tok
Username8: You know I’m going to watch all these episodes
Username9: Finally you show your face Timmy. Thank you Y/N
“Hey everyone thanks for all the support I promise I’ll be more active don’t worry.”
“But that’s all we’ll say for now it’s starting to get late we’re getting take out from a local restaurant tonight. Don’t forget support all your local businesses in these crazy times. Much love to everyone stay safe.”
“Bye everyone I’ll maybe go live later I’ll think about it.”
Username10: You better go live Timmy we’re starving over here
Username11: Timmy & Y/N content is the only thing that’s keeping me going
You ended the live and put your phone on your nightstand.
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saeyoungs-sunflower · 4 years
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(HC) RFA + MC in Quarantine
Listen lads, this is just a silly I wrote this the other day (I may have been a little but tipsy but shh) and I thought I might as well share it. I hope this cheers some of you up during such a scary time <3
***
Yoosung:
★ okay this is gonna sound obvious
★ but bare with
★ G A M E S
★ but!!! not just LOLOL!! oh no no!
★ i’m talking board games, PC games, active games like tag and hide and seek
★ you guys basically act like children how are you surviving on your own
★ you guys also do LOADS of cooking
★ like so much
★ you’re baking like one cake a day pls slow down
★ ngl you guys are thriving staying home all the time lol
★ if Yoosung has online classes, you set up a study club!
★ he does his college work whilst you do whatever work you gotta do boo love that tEAMWORK
★ honestly you guys have never been so productive oop
Zen:
❤︎ oh boy
❤︎ be prepared to be SMOTHERED in love
❤︎ zen i love you too but pls i have stuff to do
❤︎ m o v i e  n i g h t s
❤︎ f a c e  m a s k s
❤︎ there are so many movies/tv series that you guys have been waiting to watch together but haven't had time to bc of zen’s work
❤︎ big sad :(
❤︎ BUT GUESS WHAT FAM
❤︎ WORK IS CANCELLED TIME TO SNUGGLE DOWN AND WATCH SOME DAMN CINEMA
❤︎ it usually turns into make out sessions but shh nobody has to know
❤︎ Zen kinda discovered that you guys c a n n o t cook
❤︎ so!!! you learn!!!
❤︎ it’s MESSY y’all
❤︎ “aw mc you look so cute with flour on your nose” throws flour at your face “zen i sWeaR tO GoD I just wanna make b r e ad leave me ALONE”
 ❤︎ quality couple time <3
Jaehee:
☞  lets get down to business
☞ to defeat
☞ THE H A N
☞ lol JK
☞ seriously the house has never been cleaner
☞ obvs your cafe isn't open so y’all have some time on your hands
☞ one day Jaehee suggests gardening
☞ oh man
☞ it escalated
☞ gardening has now become an OBSESSION
☞ honestly you couldn't find a prettier garden on pinterest swear down
☞ you also decided to renovate the house you’ve been meaning to do it but have never had the time
☞ your house is now a work of art wow proud of you guys <333
☞ tbh, Jaehee actually has a small fear of getting sick/you getting sick so you guys are only leaving the house if it is a b s o l u t e l y necessary
Jumin:
♚ nobody talk about the bad ending
♚ i said don’t…
♚ he’s be waiting for this moment who needs a cage when you have a national lockdown
♚ all jokes aside though this man still has to work from home
♚ poor bby
♚ let us all shed a tear for Jumin Han
♚ you love to bring him tea and homemade baked goods whilst he works and guess what??? so does he lol
♚ it is time
♚ to D A N C E
♚ this man is so extra oml
♚ insists on taking online ballroom dance lessons bc why not MC hmmm???
♚ he is actually a very good dancer
♚ once you guys get good enough it turns into spontaneous ballroom dancing in the kitchen whilst you clean up after dinner
♚ wine??? wine did you say??? W I N E???
♚ oh b o y
♚ you've seen each other tipsy before, and lemme tell ya it takes a lot to get this man drunk
♚ his tolerance is so high from all the w i n e
♚ but one night you two get absolutely HAMMERED like oh my God guys calm down pls
♚ rip your liver lmao
♚ it makes for a v e r y funny evening though you guys have literal tears in your eyes and its so nice to see the mighty Jumin Han loosen up a little aw bless
Saeyoung:
☀︎ okay
☀︎ listen
☀︎ this man is absolutely out of control i can’t
☀︎ you thought he was a prankster before???? oh man i am so sorry
☀︎ “saeyoung why is there a balloon above saeran’s door” “don’t worry bout it babe” “i am WORRYING SAEYOUNG”
☀︎ on a serious note though being stuck in the house does sometimes bring back some bad memories for him
☀︎ there are some bad days where he just n e e d s to get out
☀︎ so you sometimes go out for a quick drive in some desert place ya know let’s be sensible
☀︎ you guys have also made a habit of climbing to the roof and watching the stars aw
☀︎ you’ve also both fallen a sleep there a few times oopsy daisy
☀︎ the memes are the only thing getting you guys through at this point it’s a problem
☀︎ but you are loving the quality time with your choi boys so it’s not all bad <3
☀︎ family snuggles are a must
☀︎ a M U S T
☀︎ the desired s n u g g l e position is you sat on Saeyoung’s lap, your legs draped over Saeran’s lap and Saeran’s head resting on Saeyoung’s shoulder AW
☀︎ sometimes you hold Saeran’s hand whilst he’s asleep bc your edgy boi needs love but wont ask for it ever
V:
❁ first of all
❁ a w
❁ this man is the sweetest peach
❁ he makes so many cute things for you whilst you guys are in lockdown
❁ i mean he’s writing letters, knitting you scarves, painting you pictures the whole shebang
❁ he even made you a pyjamas
❁ he’s sewing guys he’s out of control
❁ if your working/reading/just having a quiet moment he will sketch you
❁ you wouldn't know it though bc he’s a s n e a k y bastard
❁ he’s never filled a sketchbook so fast and it’s his most treasured possession
❁ a book!!! filled with YOU!!!!! amazing!!!!!!
❁ wait, did you hear that????
❁ oh yeah
❁ ITS ARTS AND CRAFTS TIME
❁ actual children
❁ even if what you make is terrible its just so fun because you're doing it together
❁ brb just crying my eyes out i love this man so much
❁ you guys also make care packages and do the grocery shopping for the elderly/at risk people in your area and deliver it for them AND sewing scrubs/masks for doctors
❁ “I don’t want to stay inside doing nothing all the time when there are people who need help” THIS MAN IS TOO MUCH
Saeran:
☽ i hope you're ready for this grumpy motherfucker
☽ he never went outside anyway but now that he cant go out it sounds like the best thing in the world saeran pls
☽ ah yes it is time to wake up
☽ oh it’s 4pm?????
☽ HA who needs a sleep schedule anyway
☽ also Saeyoung is not the only twin with the Mischief Gene™
☽ oh no no no
☽ you two team up and absolutely destroy him
☽ i am so sorry Saeyoung but you had this coming
☽ when Saeran says that he wants to learn an instrument you are GOBSMACKED
☽ HELL Y E S
☽ he orders a keyboard and omg he’s such a fast learner
☽ probs from all the years of hacking ouch
☽ do i smell??? A FAMILY BAND?????
☽ you and Saeyoung play kazoo
☽ Saeran has left the chat
☽ seriously though his piano playing is so pretty and it calms him down so much ughhh PRECIOUS TOMATO BOI
***
This is so chaotic hahahah I hope you enjoyed though. If people liked it I’ll do some more silly things like this. It was a nice break from...the other stuff I’m writing...hint hint watch this space ;)
Masterlist
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fandomscombine · 4 years
Text
The Only Distraction to Quidditch
BG: Never before has Oliver Wood been distracted during a quidditch match.
I spent a longer time daydreaming of this scenario than actually writing this.
Being in quarantine could be quite lonely so here’s me trying to fill in the gap and emotional need by writing a cute fluffy Oliver Wood x reader fic! Hope you enjoy it! Stay safe, stay indoors and of course stay healthy!
Wow also this ended up with a lot of Weasley Twins wingmen power moments so enjoy! So basically this fic are for the underrated gems of Oliver Wood and Fred & George Weasley!
~Also tell me if you guys wanna fic written around their summer! kinda like a prologue/ background piece. Or even a part 2!~
Word Count: 1662
12 April 2020,1am
>>MASTERLIST<<
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You are a very shy and quiet student in Hogwarts. Sure, you get along well with all the other students, but you haven’t really found a clique for yourself. Yeah you could try harder, but you just don’t want to change yourself just to fit in. You simply can’t wrap around your mind how people can make small talk and leave it as that, jumping from one person to another without connecting more deeply. You’re definitely an introvert living in an extroverted world. Don’t get it wrong, you still love going on spontaneous adventures and having fun but not many people still that side of you, you tend to be reserved but when you’re by yourself, with a close group of people or in an environment where you don’t feel judged, your uniqueness shines through and your heart in on your sleeves.
Saturdays are normally spent in the Ravenclaw common room curled up on one of the couches with a book. This time however you are on your way to the quidditch pitch for the fist ever match of the year, Gryffindor versus Slytherin. This is also the first ever match that your best friend, and lately turn crush (damn you summer holidays!), Oliver Wood.
You plan to make a quick detour to the Gryffindor tent, you’re almost to the door when suddenly-
You yelp, feeling strong arms wrapping you in place.
‘Got ya!’ whispered someone in your right ear.
Turning around, coming face to the face with the beautiful boy you’ve come to be fond of, in the more than a friend kinda way.
‘Ollie!’ meeting his eyes, the eyes you’ve seen all summer, every day without fail and surprisingly you didn’t grow tired of.
‘Heyya y/n. What brings a pretty Ravenclaw like you here?’ He hugs you closer ‘Could it be a special someone…. Like me?’ raising one of his brows.
You can feel your check heat up and you shake you head in hopes to cool them down before that get any redder. ‘You wish Wood.’ You countered.
‘Wood?’ Putting a hand to his chest. ‘Ouch love that hurts.’
‘I’m here for the new quidditch captain actually…Have you seen him?’ you say, putting on an innocent curious face.
‘Ohhh you are a real tosser y/n!’ playfully hitting your shoulder.
’10 minutes til game starts’ announces Lee Jordan through the speaker.
‘I guess that’s my cue to go find a seat’ you gestured to Oliver.
Oliver’s smile falters a little.
‘But for reals tho, I came to wish you good luck captain’ you look at him sincerely, putting your hand on his shoulder. ‘I know you’ll do great.’
‘Thanks.’ And just like that his smile is back. ‘I’ll look for you in the stands okay?’
‘Okay, I’ll be there cheering you on.’
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‘Gryffindor to Slytherin, 80-20’ Lee shouts.
It’s already been 30 minutes into the match and Gryffindor is in the lead, Oliver Wood being this his first game ever as captain should be happy right? Yes and no not really as there is one girl stuck in his mind. She promised that she would be in the stands, but every time Oliver manages to divert his attention to the Ravenclaw stands, he just couldn’t find her.
‘where are you y/n?’ he mumbles to himself. It’s fifth time scanning the seats but again he couldn’t find her.
What Oliver didn’t notice was that a bludger was headed his way.
‘Oi Oliver look out!’ warned Fred.
Oliver turned but the bludger was getting closers faster than he wanted. Thankfully George swooped in and batted it out of the way.
‘You alright mate? You seem distant.’ George noted.
‘Yea umm no actually, have you seen y/n? I don’t see her in the Ravenclaw stand.’
‘Told ya brother, it’s girl trouble.’ Fred said teasingly.
‘She’s in the Gryffindor Stand’ said George. ‘Now that’s out of the way, hope we got your full attention now.’
‘100%’ nodded Oliver. ‘Let’s just hope Harry gets the damn snitch soon.’
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‘Harry Potter has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins!’ exclaimed Lee.
Everything was happening at once. One moment, Oliver just landed with the rest of the Gryffindor team and cheering among themselves for their win then the next thing he knows he’s face is so close to yours; he could feel your breath.
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You ran down to the quidditch pitch to congratulate the team. There was a crowd around Oliver so you decided to hang around for a while with the rest of the team. You were talking to Harry when you feel a tap on your shoulder. The Weasley twins, you were close to them being as they lived close to you back home.
George smiled ‘You know you almost cost us the game, right Freddie?’
‘Absolutely Georgie’ his twin answered.
‘As if!’ you chuckled, thinking they were joking ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Well you see Ms.L/n’ started George.
‘You seemed to accomplish the impossible task of distracting the one and only Mr. Quidditch during a game!’ continued Fred.
‘Yea right.’ Not believing the jokesters.
‘oh believe it y/n.’ The twin said together. You hate it when they do that. ‘Oliver Wood is head over heels for you.’
‘But as much as he may be confident anywhere else, our boy isn’t when making the first move, especially when he thinks he’s jeopardizing your friendship if he confesses.’ Added Fred.
Putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder, George continues ‘That is why, you have to make the first move y/n. For you guys and for everyone else.’
‘what? For everyone else?’ You exclaimed. Then realized you missed that bigger point. ‘And no I don’t like Oliver that way!’ you tried denying but it was too late.
‘C’mon y/n.’ sighed Fred ‘Everyone knows you guys like each other, all expect you two. So just put us out of this in denial misery and just get together!’
‘We would rather power through all the lovey dovely crap than the denial stage’ George said truthfully.
George looked past your shoulder. ‘Well good luck y/n!’ and hurriedly grabbed Fred away.
‘Wait what? Where are you going—’ You turned and yup now you knew why they left all of a sudden.
He is here right in front of you. After all the information that came into light you heart is beating faster than it ever was.
‘Hey Ollie! Congratulations!’
‘Thanks y/n. It’s because you were here’ he smiled.
‘You almost scared me to death when that bludger was coming towards you earlier you know….’ You admitted.
‘Really?’
‘Yeah, I thought you were gonna get knocked out!’
‘Well I’m one tough cookie.’ Oliver boasted. ‘It’ll take more than a bludger to knock me out!’
Wanting to test the twin’s remark, you asked ‘you seemed distracted Ollie, I have to say I never seen you loose focus in a game before!’
Oliver chuckled ‘well I guess it’s because it’s my first game as captain...’
See! That that Weasleys, it was nerves not me!
Then Oliver shook his head ‘actually it’s more than that--’ Moving closer. ‘I was looking for you during the game, I was trying to find you in the Ravenclaw stand but I couldn’t—’
‘That’s cause I was in the Gryffindor stand, you dummy!’ you interjected.
‘Yeah that twin told me that. But why? Why were you in the Gryffindor stand?’
Now it was your turn to step closer. ‘It was to show everyone that I’m there to fully support the Gryffindor team.’
‘Just the Gryffindor Team?’
‘Well the Gryffindor Team and their newly appointed, super handsome captain.’ You smirked
It was as if your words had given him the courage he needed. Which they did.
Oliver closed the gap between you two and took your hands in his.
Nervously running his thumbs across your hands, he confessed ‘It means a lot to me that you came here today, I know you usually are up in the Ravenclaw common room with your head in a book.’ He smiled. ‘But you came, you came y/n.’
Looking into your eyes, his own eyes watering a bit. ‘I searched for you in the stands whenever I could, you are my strength y/n and I wanted to impress you. Heck I almost got knocked out looking for you, to see how you’re there supporting me!’ he huffed. ‘But I wouldn’t change a thing.’
He took a deep breath. He is laying all his cards down. ‘Y/n L/n I like you, like I really really like you, more than a friend. Heck you know what? I might even love you. Yes Yes. Y/n L/n I have fallen in love with you. You are my world.’
Your heart swells in joy and love when you heard those words. ‘Ollie I---’
‘I know this is a lot and you might not feel the way. But I just hard to get it out, I know this changes a lot and probably was a stupid idea---’
He is blabbering now, and you know that Oliver blabbers when he’s nervous.
So you shut him up, not with your usual moaning but when a kiss.
You kissed him hard, you put all that you were meaning to say into that kiss.
It took a second for the shock to fade then he kissed back.
You pulled apart, smiling. Laughing at his shocked face, the -I can’t believe this happened, is this real- face still evident.
‘I feel the same way idiot, I was gonna say that before you cut me off’ you stated.
You kissed him again. ‘I love you. Oliver Wood.’
‘I love you too Y/n L/n’ tucking your hair behind your ear and leaning his forehead against yours.
This moment right here, was yours and his. It felt as if you were the only two beings in the world.
Until of course you got interrupted with a distant shout. ‘FINALLY!’ Ahh the Weasley Twins.
Well credits to them, they were right, and they were effective wingmen.
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amyonrails · 3 years
Text
Traveling to Sweden by train
Things are slowly calming down again so I decided to spend a one week vacation in the Swedish city of Gothenburg. I want to share this journey with people as I promised friends to take lots of pictures anyway and because it personally means quite a lot to me to finally get out there again. Not only is this finally a proper vacation after a year and a half of sitting at home a lot with the coronavirus pandemic making it unfeasible to travel anywhere farther than where the S-Bahn could carry me. But this is also my first international journey in just over 10 years. Finally I feel comfortable taking on such a trek and because I am apparently a bit silly and like trains I decided to do this journey (nearly) all by train.
Planned route
Now how does one get from Berlin to Gothenburg by train? The route I will be taking starts in Berlin from which I will first board an ICE (InterCity Express; the German high speed train class of DB) to Hamburg to change to an IC (InterCity; a high-ish speed service) which is a joint operation by DB and the Danish national train service taking me all the way to the Danish capital of Copenhagen. From there I can take the Öresundtåg (literally Öresundtrain) over the Öresundbridge across the (can you guess it?) Öresund between Denmark and Sweden. The Öresundtåg stops in the city of Malmö, where I get a high speed train by the Swedish operator SJ that will get me to my destination.
This is quite a trip with a few changes and because I planned this with change times of at least 30 minutes in case there are delays the whole journey will take about 13 hours. The straight distance between the two cities is about 580 kilometres but due to the detour over Jutland the distance actually traveled is closer to 1000 kilometres.
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(the route vaguely traced in Google Maps)
I booked the tickets online a few weeks ahead and paid for all second class tickets about 70 € in total (and again about 70 € for the return trip). This was actually quite pleasant. The whole first part of the journey up to Malmö I was able to plan with the website of DB, which cooperates nicely with services of neighboring countries. The booking website of SJ was also easy to use, very user friendly and has a good English translation.
The paperwork
So because this is an international journey we have to consider paperwork of course. You can’t just travel to another country, surely there is a bunch of hoops you have to jump through, right? Well, because of the circumstances, kinda but not really.
First off: no visa required. I am a German citizen and am thus allowed to travel freely within the Schengen-area and the only required document is my ID card. And that is only in case I actually get carded. On train connections that is only done occasionally, but of course I will have my ID with me, so that will not be an issue.
Due to the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic it is also necessary to bring either a negative test result when crossing borders or a certificate of vaccination against the virus. Which I got. You can have it in paper or digitally and two weeks after your second shot you are free to travel again. No quarantining or anything. I got vaccinated anyway, so this was no issue at all.
Over all this got sorted pretty easily and I quickly had everything I need.
As a slight hint for anyone traveling to Sweden for the first time: paying in cash is incredibly uncommon especially in the cities there so I very much advise getting a credit card. I used a simple card I could charge with a bit of money, which I got from my bank with no additional cost and due to the limited money on it, losing it would not have been that bad as well.
Potential obstacles
But of course, stuff happened. Or rather, would maybe happen. I am writing this portion slightly ahead and at the end of reading this you will know, how it actually played out. As will I know, because by then I hopefully will have arrived.
Over the summer of 2021 the train drivers union GDL started talks with DB about raises and compensation over the additional hours drivers had done during the pandemic. Talks broke down though and thus they started striking.
There are more internal factors at play here as well but I am not in the know enough to properly judge or even explain the whole picture. But in the end it also does not really matter because I can’t really change it that quickly. So I have to live with the potential of the trains in Germany being canceled due to strikes. Only in Germany though. As soon as I reach Denmark I will be fine.
The strikes are not full time. They usually go on for two or three days and then normal service resumes within a few hours. And they tend to stick to work days. Which might mean I get lucky as I will depart on a Saturday. But I will watch the news closely and may have to rapidly come up with a backup plan.
Additionally and a bit hilariously I will have to switch onto a rail replacement bus on my journey to Gothenburg. Just on the weekend where I will travel they are doing some bridgework between Malmö and the town of Lund. This is certainly an inconvenience, but I just hope it will work out okay, as it is not that far to Lund. If this was not the case, I would have been able to make this journey exclusively with electric trains.
The strike
And of course it had to happen. On Monday the 30th of August the union announced a strike that would cover a whole week and with that, cover the weekend I wanted to travel on.
But no reason to panic yet. This gave me a few days to figure out how to navigate around this. By Tuesday afternoon DB had figured out which services would still be running.
I got pretty unlucky though. During this strike no DB service would run from Hamburg to Copenhagen. So it became necessary to find another way.
Thankfully I remembered the provider Snälltåget. They run a night train from Berlin all the way to Stockholm with stops in larger cities. Like for example Malmö.
And so for an additional price of just 10€ in total I got my DB ticket refunded, bought a ticket for the Snälltåget service from Saturday 7 in the evening to arrive on Sunday at around 8 in the morning and shifted the ticket I had bought with SJ to a train on Sunday.
Overall that was not nearly as bad as I initially feared and by Tuesday afternoon I had rescheduled.
The journey
Saturday came and in the evening it got time to head out. Due to the strike the S-Bahn service in Berlin was also pretty dodgy so I opted for a route with U-Bahn and bus. Which worked pretty well. The bus was a bit crowded but the whole trip was only a few minutes slower than any S-Bahn connection available to me.
Berlin central station is a very modern steel and glass construction that is very vertical with platforms going east-west above ground and platforms going north-south below ground. Due to the strike there were only few trains around but there were still some passengers taking the few trains in service.
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(a view along the upper platforms at Berlin central station with the low sun shining through the glass roof)
About 20 minutes before departure my train pulled onto the platform. Four carriages pulled by an electric loco. Very quickly I had found my seat and was happy to see us depart perfectly on time at 19:02. But then had to stop for twenty minutes just after leaving the city behind, because unauthorized people were on the track.
For this section with Snälltåget I had booked the most basic seat. Fortunately the person who boarded the train in Hamburg at around 22:00 seated next to me found another free seat, so neither of us had to be crammed in our seats and attempt to sleep.
Ah yes, sleep. As this was a night train a reasonable thing to do is to sleep. Unfortunately a few things got in the way of that. Firstly, the cabin light in the open saloon was never turned off. It was comparatively low, but still bright enough to disrupt sleep.
And then came the stop just behind the Danish border. In the small town Padborg, the loco that had hauled us all the way from Berlin got replaced by a Danish locomotive. This is due to a difference in voltage between the countries’ catenary equipment. That alone would have been fine, but unfortunately the Danish border guards deem it necessary to check every single train. And if that means disrupting 200 peoples sleep each night at 2 in the morning then they will do it. Which is what they did.
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(empty platforms at Padborg, only some bright lamps break the darkness in the dead of night while the border guards board the train)
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(the sun is just barely rising over the flat and still dark Danish countryside)
During the next few hours I managed to catch a bit of uneasy sleep until the early dawn. Because I realized, that we were nearing Copenhagen I decided to just stay awake and watch the landscape zip by as the sun crept up. And it was worth it.
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(banks of mist over fields)
Fields covered in mist like ghostly apparitions. And right as the sun really rose and made it easy to see, we crossed the Öresundbridge. A wonderful view.
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(the metal frame of the Öresundbridge with the sea visible in the background, the sun is shining just out of frame to the right)
After the bridge it was not far to the city of Malmö. Unfortunately we were delayed slightly again. Slowly I felt like fate was trying to keep me from reaching my destination.
But because I was cautious this delay was not enough to mess with my plans. The train arrived slightly delayed at around 08:30.
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(the loco that had pulled me through the bit of Sweden I had crossed this far sitting at a platform in Malmö)
I did not take time to look at Malmö central station, but from what I saw it is a nice station with the older platforms being complemented by a modern building housing some shops. But I had a bus to catch, so I headed for one of the exits.
Some helpful staff was able to point me to the replacement bus I now had to take to get to Lund. The bus trip, while a bit inconvenient was actually a nice change. And I got dropped off right in front of the train station an hour before my train was due to depart.
And that last leg of the journey was very pleasant. The X55 even in second class was wonderful to ride. Good leg space, large windows, pleasant decor and a comfortable ride paired with sunny views of the Swedish countryside. This train made it immediately clear to me, that Swedish rail has a wider loading gauge than most other countries and the cars are built accordingly with lots of room. Zooming through hills and past fields at not very high speeds was just a delight.
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(a bit of Swedish countryside with fields and farm buildings under a blue sky, in the distance one can just about see the coastline)
And after about 2 and a half hours my final train for that day pulled into Gothenburg central station. Which is a wonderful old station that has been maintained very well. The main concourse still has it’s original dark wood framing and large murals show different old railway lines all under an iron and glass ceiling, which makes it feel large but still cozy. Even tired as I was, I was surprised by how nice this station is.
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(the main concourse in Gothenburg central station)
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(the front of Gothenburg central station in broad daylight)
From the central station one can easily get anywhere in the city with the many trams or a bus which stop just a hundred meters from the station entrance.
In conclusion
This whole trip is now about two weeks in the past and I had some time to think about it. In general I still think this is a good way to get to Sweden, especially if you are on a budget. Next time I want to try out a proper cabin with a berth on the night train, because I am just too tall to sleep in any way comfortably in a seat.
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jtrbluv · 4 years
Text
shutterbug | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x reader
genre: fluff, angst
word count: 4.1k
warnings: swearing, unbearable but relatable tiger parents
request: Jungkook,, one shot,, 38 + 40 please 😊😊 @asiivnc 
“you leave whenever you feel like it.” & “don’t apologize if you don’t mean it.”
A/N: sheesh, i have not posted in a hot minute! i’ve been trying to work on this single request throughout quarantine and it really only came down to these last few days where i literally had a spike of inspo and drive and well,, ideas LOL. i considered an alternate angstier ending but i am a self-indulgent mofo who doesn’t like to make myself cry even though i’m sure i cried while writing this at least once (maybe twice). there is so much jk content on my blog i wanna set aside more time to write for other members from now on until i’m satisfied! regardless, thank you @asiivnc for requesting this and sorry for the wait luv, hopefully this can make up for it !!
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Jungkook was known to be heavily passionate and fully invested in whatever his life had revolved around at that moment. As a film/photography major, as well as a man that just had a strange knack for being naturally adept at whatever was thrown at him, he incessantly poured his utmost efforts into his works. You weren’t any different, as you held just as much significance in his life as the way his serotonin levels would skyrocket as soon as his fingertips touched his precious camera.
Not to be self-absorbed, but you always thought of yourself as his muse. Or befittingly for his sake, the subject of the photo that you would give the title ‘his lover’.
You were so indisputably sure that you loved the boy and even moreso that he felt the same. While being so accustomed to his own nurturing ways and devotion to you and the reciprocated energy on your part, the bone-crushing weight of college hindered all and didn’t give a single fuck about anyone or anything.
Carrying the begrudging burden of having to succeed because he didn’t take the traditional lawyer/doctor career route, was always at the forefront of his mind. Likewise, for fuck’s sake, he nearly got disowned by his own parents and it took him what seemed to be a lifetime’s worth of energy to convince him to just give him a chance. Jungkook was not planning on taking that chance for granted.
Jungkook, being the person he is, was excelling, and his name was beginning to become known in the community of photographers and videographers, and he was finally starting to feel at ease. His parents were even acknowledging his successes to the extent that they were helping him financially with school, which was a huge burden off of his shoulders. And then you suddenly crash-landed into his life and just made his life even more fulfilling and by all means, worth living in.  
He knew it was a bad idea. Distancing himself from you was the last thing he wanted to do. All his parents were concerned about was the fact that you were the only thing hindering him from making it “big”, when turns out, you became the sole inspiration and muse for most of his recent works. So they gave him an ultimatum to either be cut off financially or break up with you. He didn’t understand, because his parents liked you so much and they loved the influence you had on his work. He didn’t understand. He hated it—the fact that he was basically hanging by puppet strings and didn’t have a say in what he did considering the age he was in now.
He also hated the fact that he knew they had good intentions, and were only doing this because they wanted him to be successful. Their idea of true success for his career could only be seen as the financial benefits of being a director or producer rather than being able to just pursue and learn more about the art form that he loves. There was no use of trying to persuade them, so likewise, he did not. But why get her involved into this mess too?
Jungkook tended to stray away from confrontation and hated immediate and unexpected change as much as he acted like it didn’t phase him. He figured the sooner he can gain benefit from his passion, the less dreadful this dilemma would be. Less mess. Less stress. More time to be with you. That was the intended plan.
His next course of action was to score a film internship and potential job at the rather famous, Fox Studios. By doing so, would have to win the statewide film contest— a much larger scale than he had ever involved himself in. The mere thought of him having to showcase his own self-produced work to critically acclaimed film critics made the bile in his system threaten to upchuck onto the lemon-pledge scented floors of his dorm room. Then he remembered and was reminded— by the help of you of course, that he was Jeon Jungkook, and everyone knows that Jeon Jungkook does not like to lose.
-
He presumed that keeping up his grades would give him more credibility to getting the internship as well, so he put more focus onto his schoolwork. The remainder of his time was dedicated to exploring his potential ideas and storyboarding out his options and what would be most effective and most consequently— worthy of winning first place.
During this very strenuous time for the poor man, you would most likely see him trudging down the halls, hair in a complete disarray or simply hidden by the fabric of his hood, his eyelids threatening to close shut almost as if it’s taking all his willpower to keep them open, chugging down another red bull with one hand while he grips the strap of his backpack with practically no energy.
I mean you thought it was kinda cute at first, but his apparent deteriorating state mostly caused you to be more concerned than anything else.
In hopes to not hinder his creative flow but still keep his health at par, you would stop by every so often to give him food and give him reassurance—he never needed it so much until now.
Jungkook never told you about the irrational ultimatum his parents had given him. He came to the conclusion that it’d be unnecessary as long as he was able to carry out his plans. Nonetheless, the pressure of the whole situation was getting to him. The love of his life, passion for working with a camera, his parents’ disapproval, and just the own personal dream to be able to tell everyone that “Fuck you, I told you I could do it, and I did,” enveloped his whole mind these days.
Time had proved to not work in Jungkook’s favor. Two weeks passed in a mere blink of an eye leaving him with only two more weeks to finish his film in time for the film contest. This time around, he decided to choose a topic that resonated more with his own personal life. The film revolves around the struggle to be able to conform to the standards and expectations that society implements onto young people, whether it’d be from mainstream media or direct connections, like family. Typically, he stuck a title onto his projects after fully completing it, but for some reason, this time, it had worked in reverse. The title itself suddenly popped into his mind one day and from there he was able to garner ideas from it. And so the title was ‘Moulded’.
A very risky step on Jungkook’s part was what you initially thought when he first told you the idea. He knew that too, which is why he did it. You knew him long enough to be aware of the influence his parents had on his life and their outdated beliefs. You also knew the potential the boy’s zeal could take him, and because of that, all traces of worry left you shortly afterward.
-
Two days. The film contest was in two days. Jungkook was just about finished at this point, constantly playing back frames and adding final touches, rewatching the same parts over and over again until he became satisfied. He leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh, eyes finally averting from the screen of his desktop to the clock on his bedside table.
“Only 9:15?” he muses, realizing these past four weeks had completely fucked over his sense of time, “At least I’m down, color correcting can be such a bit—”
A small jolt reverberates through his desk, interrupting his verbally spoken train of thought. His eyes beeline back to his phone, the contact picture of his mom flashing on his screen. Why would she be calling me at this time?
His brows knit together as he picks up his phone and swipes his thumb across the screen in uncertainty.
“Um, hi mom?” he greets, with the obvious tone of confusion in his voice.
He can practically hear her scoff over the line, “Jungkook-ah, how’s the film coming along?”
“It’s almost done-”
“Are you still with that girl?” she forcibly asks out of nowhere, leaving him dumbfounded to the point his mouth was hanging open in return.
A few seconds pass by as he processes what’s going on. He tightens his grip on the phone at the mention of you as he confesses through gritted teeth, “Yes mom.”
“We had a deal didn’t we?”
He retorted without waver in his voice, “Mom, I’m not a kid anymore.”
“Then give it back. The tuition money,” she affirms without hesitation, “Jungkook, me and your father have done our part. It’s about time you do yours.”
“I’ve done practically everything you’ve asked. I’m doing just fine,” he monotonously states, trying so hard not to implode on his own mother at this point, “Y/N has nothing to do with this.”
There was a short pause, leaving Jungkook in the same state of dejection per usual when he had to talk to his parents, “We just want you to be successful,” her voice softens, using the same line that somehow magically guilt-trips Jungkook every time the words travel to his ears.
He shakes his head in disbelief over hearing the stupid line that seemed to control every aspect of his life, “You say that every time.”
“And we mean it every time,” she interjects, a sigh audibly present over the line, “this discussion is over.”
She ends the call as Jungkook lets out a raspy and guttural groan, slamming his phone onto his desk in frustration with such strength it’d be surprising if the cheap glass screen protector he’s had on it didn’t suffer any damage.
“Kook,” a voice utters softly from the other side of his door, “is everything okay?”
He flinches at the sound of your voice, considering you were just the subject of the conversation he just had with his mom that left him fuming with rage more than anything.
“Can you please leave Y/N, this isn’t a good time,” he objected, adjusting himself in his seat so he’d face away from the door. Even though you couldn’t see him you could still hear the small indication of irritation in his response.
It was more than apparent something was wrong with him, with only two days left until the film contest, you knew he couldn’t manage to keep his guard down, regardless of the stress and turmoil he’d been putting himself through for the past 4 weeks, “Just because you leave whenever you feel like it…” you enunciate, raising your voice loud enough for him to hear your intentions, “doesn’t mean I will.” Both of you knew the last 4 weeks had taken a toll on the relationship, it was only then that he realized how much he’d been putting it off.
The door began to emit tiny clicking noises as he slowly turned the doorknob. He slowly widens the area as he meekly steps to the side, letting you come in as you make your way toward his bed and plop down onto his sheets.
The tension had never been this thick between the two of you, to the extent where it felt absolutely suffocating and unbearable. You had never seen him in such a state of dejection as he simply sat there, hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt as he nibbled on his lower lip, eyes diverting away from yours at all costs. The knit between his brows that would usually derive from confusion or frustration, seemed entirely different this time around. It was as if his mind was full of nothing but everything all at the same time.
You heave out a deep sigh as you finally break the ice, “Jungkook,” you begin, looking up to see him looking back at you to your surprise, “you know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry for making it seem that way.”
“Don’t apologize if you don’t mean it,” he mutters only to see the flash of hurt in your eyes that makes him divert his gaze back to the floor, “I know I’ve been acting so selfish lately. I’d understand if you felt that way.”
“I hate seeing you like this you know,” you confess quietly, “I know there’s something up.”
His eyes meet yours once again, mouth slightly parted as if he was about to say something, but the silences ensues and he closes the gap once again, resorting back to nibbling the skin off of his bottom lip until it starts to bleed. Your eyes soften as you observe the boy once more. The span of your relationship had naturally led to the two of you being able to open up to one another so easily. You were both able to tell when the other was feeling a certain way and why. It just came with time and getting to know the other person more throughout the relationship. And alongside that was the ability to know when the other was purposely keeping something under wraps—this was one of those times.
“Jungkook”, you whisper just loud enough to catch his attention, which works as he gazes back up at you with all doe-eyed glory, the knit between his brows gone surprisingly out of sight for the first time since you came over. You glance at his bed—emphasizing the void of space next to you on his bed by patting the fabric and peering at the cryptic man, hoping he would get the sign to sit next to you.
Fortunately, he does. He places his hands on the armrests as he timidly pushes himself up from his chair. The chair produces an obnoxiously loud squeaking noise almost emulating the sound of your dog’s dog shaped squeaky toy (counterintuitive I know, but it was a gift from Jungkook himself, the prick). The sound causes you to involuntarily snort as you look away in hopes to hide the smile creeping onto your lips. Too bad you missed the smug grin on his face at your lackluster attempt.
He carefully approaches you as he warily lowers himself onto his bed, making sure he doesn’t make the same mistake twice. He shifts his body to turn towards you, propping his hands at his side. His eyes avoid yours once more, sparing glances at every inch of his own room as if he wasn’t already familiar with the enclosed space.
You pause and calculate your next move, eyes studying the boy’s body language. You outstretch your arm, gently grasping his wrist as you slide your fingers through his calloused palms and twine your fingers with his own, allowing your hands to rest on your knee. His eyes glaze over your connected hands, trailing back to finally meeting your own once again—they had this all too unfamiliar gloss to them, not the usual star-like specks you had been accustomed to looking at. As a few seconds had passed, you spotted the pool of tears starting to brim in the corner of his eyes. Taken aback, you retract your focus to his whole face and how his bottom lip started to tremble, hopeless. Hopelessness was what he was denoting, an emotion you had rarely if never seen coming from the man sitting in front of you.
Before you could formulate any words of comfort, he speaks up, voice brittle and wobbly, “Am I just a failure Y/N?”
“Wha— what? No, how could you ask that? Of course I don’t think you are,” you assert, unknowingly tightening the grip on his hand.
“It’s just,” he drawls out, pausing to think of a coherent way to voice his concerns, “maybe it just would’ve been easier if I complied with my parents in the first place y’know. I’ve been spending all my time and energy fighting it, maybe I’ve just been putting my energy into the wrong-”
“I don’t believe that,” you calmly interject, “I believe that whenever you put your energy into something, you have a reason behind it. You thought about it for a while, it obviously wasn’t something that just sprouted overnight,” you countered, staring off as your eyes land on his workspace, the flashing screen of his computer that reveal his last minute editing as well as the camera you seldom see the man without, “Working with a camera, creating art,” you say while clasping your free hand over the one that you were already holding, rubbing miscellaneous shapes into the back of his hand, “that is what you love to do.”
“I love a lot of things Y/N,” he simply states.
“Hm?” you let out under your breath as you notice the single tear that falls onto his cheek, contradictory to the straightforward tone of his voice you had just heard seconds before. Your body stiffened at the sight of the fallen drop.
“Did you hear me on the phone before you came?” he questions, swiping away the tears that threatened to fall with his free hand.
You take a moment to recollect the moments that preceded until knocking on his door, “No, I just heard a loud bang. It sounded like you broke something.”
“Oh, that was my phone,” he shyly admits while scratching the back of his ear, “there is something I need to tell you.”
You perk up at his sudden willingness to tell you what was wrong. Your body language conveys the signal for him to continue, and he does.
“I got a call from my mom before you came,” he starts, “she was checking up on me, knowing the deadline is coming soon and what not.”
You nod slowly in understanding, “I see, what did she say?”
“You have the right to know,” he mutters under his breath while diverting his gaze back to your interlocked hands. He intentionally grazes your other hand before taking it into his own before flashing you a small grin of reassurance, “The farther I’m advancing, my parents just constantly feel the need to strip me of everything else. You probably knew that already. You also know that I tend to just rebel and find a loophole out of things most of the time. I don’t know, lately, it just seems like they solely care about success and money these days more than my own happiness and wellbeing, and it’s been like that for so long. Anyways, I’ve been prolonging and putting it aside for awhile now, but they threatened to cut me off financially if I didn’t break up with you Y/N.”
A single tear slides down your cheek. You’re at a loss for words and coherent thought. The only thing you muster to say is whatever decidedly popped up into your head first, “W-why haven’t you then?”
The brimming tears began to fall more frequently for you as well as from the eyes of the man in front of you. He releases both of his hands and slides his calloused palms up to your forearms pulling you closer in proximity, “I said it before, I love a lot of things Y/N,” he gingerly reiterates as he swipes away the tears from your eyes with the pad of his thumb before trailing his fingers to your fallen strands of hair, tucking them behind your ear.
“I love my parents, I love working with a camera, but I undoubtedly also am in love with you,” he tenderly professes while sliding down his hand to the crook of your neck, “I know my parents never meant harm, but they have to realize I don’t either. I owe it to myself and I realize that I am capable of obtaining and having everything I want in life,” he wholeheartedly declares despite the tears that continue to run down his face, “ And it wouldn’t be everything I want if you weren’t here with me.”
He renders you speechless, tears streaming freely as he continues to wipe them away. He was much more composed now, wiping away his own remaining tears with the back of his wrist. You, on the other hand, were practically sobbing into his palm, tears spilling all over his forearm.
“There’s a reason why I chose that particular subject for the film, “ he describes, hands sliding down to intertwine with yours once again, “It serves as a testament to my parents, to my peers, to you, but also to myself,” he beams, releasing the hold on your hands as he stands up from his bed, extending a hand out to you.
You unhurriedly grab his hand, as he tugs you to stand up from his bed, leading you to sit in his own seat. He swivels the chair for it to face his computer, stepping aside so you could sit down.
“I wasn’t planning on giving any sneak peeks, but it just seems right to show you this now,” he explains, clicking through the frames until he arrives at his destination and clicks play.
It starts off with the emulation of a glitching tv screen, the audio sounds as if someone was inserting a tape into a DVR. The ‘no signal’ screen fades into the familiar setting of the beach in his hometown. Hues of blue fading into muted shades of oranges and yellows flash across the screen, accompanied by the soft crashing of the waves washing ashore on the fine sand. The camera quickly shifts his focus to what seems to appear as Jungkook being fully enveloped and underneath the sand, his head being the only thing that isn’t submerged. Flashing his signature grin, his arm emerges from the sand as he gives a thumbs-up to the camera, making the person behind it erupt into a fit of giggles. That person was you.
The scene transitions into the city streets of the suburb that was close to the college. You were walking down the sidewalk, enamored by the bustle of the people who lived there as well as the twinkling lights that were draped from building to building. Clips ranging from his family, his friends, him working, and more are compiled and presented as he talks over it. His voice begins to say, “As individuals living in a society where opportunities seem to just be knocking left and right, we all have dreams and desires. Whether they are attainable or not, that’s what makes them all the more worthwhile and exhilarating to find out for ourselves. Society, whether we like it or not, is filled with certain conjectures that they believe can assure us of these dreams and desires, what they’ve made us believe as the path to success. They mould us from the beginning. As kids, we are told to behave well, listen to our elders, go to school, get good grades, and get into a good college. As adults, we deem success as having a stable job that pays the bills, buying a house and settling down, finding the love of your life, having kids, and working tirelessly until we become worn out and old. We have these presumptions about what’s better and what’s not, what is easier and what isn’t. Regardless of how much we get told that we can achieve anything we want to in life, we grow older and life unexpectedly throws more curveballs at you to make you think that it’s not actually the case. Well, as cliche as it may sound, I’m here to tell you that it’s just not true. Do what you want. Do what you love. Be with the ones you love. Cherish these moments. Film them as keepsakes to look back on. So… what’s your story? What are your dreams and desires? What sparks pure joy within you and keeps you on your feet? Break those moulds that have been holding you down. Reach for the moon and the stars. And maybe someday with the right amount of determination, and a little bit of luck, you can get there.”
The video ends right then and there, and you had no doubt in your mind that this was his best work to date albeit only seeing a snippet of it. A smile graces your lips as you turn your head to look at the creator of it all. He looks back at you with the familiar star-like specks in his eyes, making you feel rest assured that within all the chaos, you would both get through it all.
-
-
MASTERLIST
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a-dragons-journal · 4 years
Text
My Experiences of Nonhumanity
I get asked about “what makes you/people in general feel you’re/they’re otherkin” a lot, and while the answer is far from simple and my experiences are anything but universal, I figure it deserves a write-up once in a while. A friend asked about it a couple nights ago, so I wrote up a huge long message on Discord, and decided to rewrite it into a Tumblr post for posterity. This’ll be a long one, folks; hit J on desktop to skip.
It’s worth noting ahead of time: none of these things are required to be otherkin, and none of them automatically mean you’re otherkin. In fact, most of them are little more than mildly “weird” quirks when they occur in isolation, and only start to push outside the range of “normal human experiences” when many of them occur together. You can’t look at someone (including yourself) and say “they like collecting things, they must be dragonkin!” It’s not that simple. You have to take the individual as a whole even as you examine each specific experience in more detail - don’t lose the forest while you’re studying the trees. This is just a description of my personal experiences.
Shifts
- Phantom shifts/supernumerary phantom limbs: Probably the most obvious thing and the hardest to brush off, although I still managed to do so for years. Phantom shifts, aka supernumerary phantom limbs, are the experience of feeling limbs or body parts that do not and never have physically existed. In my case, the most common phantom limbs to show up are my wings and tail; other body parts, such as digitigrade legs, horns, snout, and paws/talons, also make appearances less frequently. While my phantom limbs almost never attempt to replicate tactile sensations/interactions with the physical world, they’re often defined by very vivid proprioception (ability to tell where your body is in space, mainly via muscle stretch receptors), and I can tell where each part of the limb is at any given time - it’s not just a shapeless sense of “weight,” or it wouldn’t be phantom limbs. I can also move them at will, typically. My phantom shifts are typically spontaneous and involuntary, but they’ve been induced artificially a couple different ways as well, though I can’t typically do it at will.
- Sensory shifts: Still not something I’m totally sure I experience, but there are definitely times my sense of smell becomes insanely strong compared to usual even for me, which fits the definition of a sensory shift.
- Astral shifts: While I’m far from an adept astral traveler, when visualizing “traveling” within my own mindscape, I shift form fluidly between human and dragon - although I almost always have wings at the very least.
- Cameo shifts: Mentioned only because it’s relevant to my phantom shifts. I realized at some point that the reason I get cameo shifts of canine/feline ears sometimes is because they usually show up when they’re pricking/flattening to express emotion, and the muscles that move to do that action are basically the same as the ones that do those actions with the crest that runs down my neck, and because of my obsession with cats/dogs/horses as a young child and because that’s not a particularly strong phantom shift for me usually, I connected the dots a little wrong and created a false association.
- Self-image: This isn’t technically a shift, but it’s going here anyway because it doesn’t really fit in any other section either. My body image/self-image is weird. I know, consciously, what I physically look like. However, my instinctive self-image is... hmm. What I “expect” to see doesn’t always match up with what’s actually there when I look in the mirror. Teeth are a huge point of fixation for me for some reason; I always expect them to be larger, sharper, stronger. I expect my neck to be longer, my face to be... different. I expect scales in places. I expect claws. Even knowing consciously that of course it won’t be there, it’s still strange sometimes that it’s not. There’s sometimes some mild disconnect when I see myself. (Sometimes not. But sometimes.)
Homesickness
(Or, the sense of missing something you’ve never had - not of “I want/want to be [x], and it makes me sad/upset that I don’t have/am not that,” but of “I should have/be [x], and it is fundamentally wrong that I do/am not.”)
- Flight: I have always wanted to fly, and for a long time I thought everyone ached for the sky the same way I did. Most people don’t, as it turns out. Yes, everyone’s fantasized about flying, but most people don’t feel bones-deep, crushing, physical pain in their chest thinking about it. Most people don’t lift up onto their toes instinctively straining for the sky. I’ve felt that aching longing for it for as long as I can remember.
- Connection to dragons: For as long as I can remember knowing about dragons, I loved the idea of them and even when I was very young, when I’d only really been exposed to media where they were the great evil for the hero to defeat and received no more character development than “evil, destructive, fire-breathing beast,” I was always on the dragon’s side and wanted to learn more about them. That hasn’t faded. I’ll watch an absolutely terrible movie or TV show that I otherwise loathe if it has good enough animation and sound design on the dragons. (Looking at you, Game of Thrones.*) I would commit arson to see one of those Isle-style dragon survival games actually go through and finish production. (Holding out hope for the Dragon Game Project on YouTube; go check them out if you haven’t already.) I’ve also used dragons to represent myself for pretty much as long as I’ve had an online presence - years before I ever heard of otherkin, I was calling myself Dragonheart.
- Dragon-like creatures: Snakes, crocodilians, and dinosaurs all fall into this category - all of them give me a similar heart-and-breathing-pick-up, aching familiarity to dragons. They’re not perfect, but in a snake’s scales and a crocodile’s bellows and a dinosaur’s spectacular reptilian size I see echoes of us and I have always loved them with a passion, even before I quite knew why.
- Dragon/”monster” noises: Sound generators, creature sound design, real animal noises, etc. that are meant to be monstrous and that most people find unsettling or even frightening, I find comforting and relaxing. Alligator bellows, “monster noise” soundscapes, etc. all apply here.
* No shade on anyone who likes Game of Thrones, I’m just not a fan. :P
Behaviors/Instincts/Urges
- Hoarding: I’m still not sure how much of the crystal thing is "monkey brain say Shiney Colorful," how much is a witch thing, and how much is a dragon thing, but some of it is a dragon thing.
- Territorial/possessive nature: I can get... extremely territorial over my stuff and my home. This can extend right into being ridiculously protective of my people too, although I do try to rein that in to a reasonable amount. This also extends into games like Capture the Flag, because put me on defending the border during middle and high school and I got frighteningly territorial. (Fun fact, this extends to spiritual protection stuff and it has almost gotten me in trouble a few times on that front.) The other main side effect is my brain trying to claim completely inappropriate things as “mine,” like every piano I have ever touched or, that one time, the entire city of Portland.
- Prey drive: Going on a walk in the woods with me will always be an exercise in stopping every twenty seconds because I heard a small animal move in the brush and froze instinctively to track it. Prey drive ranges from "okay I can indulge this enough to track-stalk-chase without actually intending to catch-kill-eat" to "this is entirely inappropriate and needs to Stop Right Now" depending on the day and the situation - sometimes it’s fairly low-key and innocent, but sometimes it's also being confronted with the sudden and completely serious/genuine thought of grabbing someone or something by the neck/around the body with your jaws and hunt-prey-kill-devour when it's completely inappropriate and kind of disturbing or even sickening. It’s one of the more annoying things, although it’s not like it’s severe enough that I’m an actual danger to anyone - it’s just a gut thought that gets filtered out at the conscious level without significant problems. This also bleeds into games (I get... maybe a little overenthusiastic during tag) and even watching TV shows or gaming videos - most of the time at least part of me is rooting for the hunter because I relate to them as a fellow predator, even if the audience is supposed to be rooting for the prey - I mean, protagonists.
- Basking/heat-seeking: Probably only partially a dragon thing, but despite the fact that I hate heat in general, radiant/sun heat and heat from a heated surface are both fantastic feelings provided the ambient air temperature isn't too high. I'm guessing this is at least partially a reptile brain thing.
- Height-seeking: Give me a chance to climb up on top of something - a rock, a cliff, a chair, a table, a bunk bed - and look out over everything else, and I'll take it in an instant. Getting to climb up on the roof is the best thing that's happened to me this entire quarantine.
- Flight instinct: Being mildly leery of cliffs not because I am afraid of falling, because I'm really not, but because there's always some part of my brain that goes "jump, fly, this is a perfect takeoff spot" and I have to squash that before I do something particularly stupid. This manifests in other ways, but that's the most dramatic (and annoying) one. This is also one of the things I noticed as definitively not normal long before my awakening. (The Grand Canyon was fun.)  Similarly to the prey drive thing, it's not like I'm actually in danger of throwing myself off cliffs, it’s just - there's a not-insignificant part of my brain that thinks "hey we should go run and jump off and take a quick flight," in the same way I might also casually think "hey I should stroll across to the corner store for a bag of chips" before I consciously decide whether or not to do that. It’s the exact same type of thought process, despite the fact that one of those things is something I might do on any given school day, and the other is, you know, physically impossible.
- Combat instincts: I get in a fight and my pure instinct is to bite or claw, not kick or punch or whatever it is humans do instinctively. I have those reflexes now courtesy of Krav, but I had to train them in - if you’d thrown me into a fight before, I absolutely would have resorted to claws/nails and teeth immediately (and I still will, when pressed into a corner). Sometimes, unfortunately, this goes off completely unwarranted, either in an anger situation that does not deserve a physical response, or for no apparent reason whatsoever. It's one of the more problematic things, but once again - it’s not like it’s a compulsion, just a gut-emotion thought that gets filtered out at the conscious level.
- Scent focus: Who knows how much of this is environmental influence and how much is instinctive, but I always have and still do focus on scent more than most humans seem to. I can identify people by scent, I seem to pay more attention to it than most people do. I also seem less bothered by natural body smells than most people do, but considering the responses when I asked around in the otherkin community once about that, unclear whether or not that's connected.
- Nonhuman noises: I make just a bunch of weird nonhuman noises, and always have. Growls, hisses, croons, hurrs, throat-clicks, chirps, etc. I've never met any human who does them instinctively like I do except my half-sister (whom I didn’t meet until a couple years ago), and she was just as surprised to hear me do it as I was surprised to hear her do it.
- Affection: Face-rubbing, light head-bonking against someone’s shoulder/body/head, and love nips/bites are all perfectly acceptable ways to show platonic affection, to dragon brain. Human society disagrees. The instinct to do these things is so strong that I definitely do give into the first two with people I’m close with, and I have physically had to catch and restrain myself when I was about to unthinkingly bite/nip someone’s skin because I wasn’t paying enough attention.
- Movement: Moving on all fours just feels better than moving on two legs, even though it’s objectively physically uncomfortable because humans aren’t built for that. I also have the instinctive want to be a lot more flexible than I’m capable of being, in ways I’m not capable of being - curling all the way around something or someone to squeeze them tight in the coil of my body, turning my head a hundred eighty degrees because my neck Should Be Longer.
- Expression: Baring one’s teeth when frustrated, irritated, or angry is not a particularly human instinct. I realize it’s something a lot of primates do do, but. *gestures at society* Humans ain’t one of them, at least not anymore. Even in Krav Maga, which is a self-defense style that focuses on being vicious and “dirty fighting” to survive a real street fight, every single time I have a new partner (and most times I have a partner I’ve worked with before) and I get tired enough to get snarly, they respond with some variation of “god that’s scary”. See also: gesturing at things with my nose because it should be long enough to make that a much more dramatic gesture than it ends up being.
- Den/lair/small spaces: I never feel safer than when curled up in a tiny alcove just big enough to comfortably fit my body curled up into it. The only position I’ll prioritize over it is getting up onto a high space.
Past Life Work
Unlike every other bullet point on this list, most of these didn’t apply until I started actively seeking them out, because, you know. Past life memories are like that.
- Past life regressions: I’ve got a tag for these, but tl;dr I take anything I learn from a past life regression or similar meditation/visualization with a whole spoonful of salt, forget “a grain,” because I know for a fact my brain is very good at making stuff up with these types of exercises. Unfortunately, they’re the only way to get information on certain things, like appearance.
- Tarot: Got a tag for that too. I use tarot to ask questions and confirm or reject suspicions.
- Spontaneous memories: I don’t have many, but they’re clear as day when they do appear. I don’t count something as a “true” memory unless it includes senses I can’t reproduce through imagination - smell and touch, mainly. Mostly these are quick flashbulbs, nothing cinematic or anything like that.
- Noemata: Again, I don’t have much in the way of noemata, but what I do have is persistent and consistent. I know things about my wing shape and flight style despite not having really experienced that in detail during past life regressions. That particular set of noemata has been confirmed to fit with real-world physics and bat wing shapes (the closest wing type to mine that exists or has existed on Earth).
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twinklecheeks · 4 years
Text
Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 6
Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.
Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does.  You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there are any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  
-I’d also like to say that I am SO sorry about not updating the series in 8 months. I started writing this the week school started last semester. I attempted to do it during Thanksgiving & Christmas break but I didn’t have the energy to do it. I know that we’re all struggling in quarantine and going through withdrawal because David has only 1 video in almost 2 months. I’m going to *TRY* to update this 2 times a week.
Warnings! Pregnancy, smut, nsfw, 18+
Don't read this if you don't like smut
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
Word Count: 1.5k
You and David have practically been dating soon after the gender reveal and finally made it official but you don’t plan to announce it on social media anytime soon. He’s been helping you a lot. Since you’ve found out you were having twin girls, you went straight to planning on how the nursery would look like. Everytime David comes over, he brings stuff like baby toys, clothes, the whole shabang. I know that David isn’t the father but he’s very excited about the babies. You thought your first trimester was difficult and it was but there’s a big problem when in the second trimester…. You’ve become horny 24/7; before pregnancy, you had sex often and you loved it. But since being pregnant, you’ve been deprived of it! You bought a bunch of dildos and vibrators cause you just couldn’t handle it anymore. You would rub yourself, fuck yourself with the dildo or use the vibrator several times just to get through the day.
Texting Kylie:
Y/n: “why didn’t you tell me the second trimester makes you super horny”
Kylie: “GIRL STOOOP. Looking back on my pregnancy, that was the funniest part. Your hormones are just all over the place. I used toys and it helped but I also was with Travis”
Y/n: “I’ve been using them but it doesn’t feel the same as actually fucking someone.”
Kylie: “Why don’t you ask David? ;)”
Y/n: “Whaaat noo! I can’t”
Kylie: “Why not? Isn’t he your boyfriend? It’s not like he would turn you down and plus, it’s not like you can get more pregnant than you already are.”
Y/n: “I mean true but idk. I just feel weird. I’m fat and pregnant with twins. I love my girls already but why couldn’t they just be one baby”
Kylie: “blame Jeff’s super sperm”
Y/n: “I also blame myself. We were fucking all the time, anytime, anywhere”
Kylie: “Anywhere?”
Y/n: “Yeah… remember Zane’s earthquake challenge video at target? Jeff and I may have had a quickie in one of the dressing rooms…”
Kylie: “What the fuck”
Y/n: “Yeah. I know. Not my proudest moment”
Kylie: “but girl i’m serious, ASK DAVID”
Y/N: “Ugh fine. But if he says no, I’m moving away and changing my identity because this shit is embarrassing”
*On the phone with David*
Y/n: “Heyy, can I come over?”
David: “Yeah, of course. Are you okay?
Y/n: “Well… technically yes but… ummm…. I’d rather just discuss this in person”
David: “Sure”
*Y/n arrives at David’s house*
Y/n: *Gives David a quick kiss* “Hey Dave.” David: “Hey babe. You sounded a little weird on the phone.” Y/n: “I mean you’re not wrong… I just have a little tiny problem and I’m going to lose my mind if it isn’t resolved” David: “what’s the problem?” Y/n: “Ugh this is so awkward I don’t want to ask” David: *David wheeze laugh* “Dude just tell me”, Y/n: “Okay umm… i’msuperfuckinghornyandi’mwonderingifyoucanhavesexwithmeifnoticompletelyunderstand.” David: “Can you please say it slower cause I only understood like 2 words.” Y/n: “I said that I’m super fucking horny and I’m wondering if you can have sex with me if not, I completely understand…” David: “Like, how bad is it?” Y/n: “Ooo boy it’s baaad.” David: “Well, we’re technically together and I wasn’t sure if you were thinking about taking that step because you’re pregnant.” Y/n: “I’m open to ANYTHING rn. I just need to be fucked HARD.”
David: *Grabs y/n’s hand and leads her to his room* Y/n: “Is Natalie home? I don’t want her to hear us.” David: “Don’t worry. She’s at Todd’s.” Y/n: “At Todd’s?” David: “Yeah, Todd had a thing for her before Jeff did and he basically went for Natalie when Todd told him that he was going to ask her out.” Y/n: *pulls in David for a needy kiss and moans* David: “wow you really are horny.” *Pushes y/n on the bed and takes off her shirt* Y/n: *unclips her bra* “Do anything that’ll make me cum please.” David: *looks at y/n’s tits and sucks on the right nipple* “Wow. Your tits have gotten… wow.” You cry out in pleasure, letting your head fall back, your mouth open. They were so sensitive that every twirl of his tongue made your pussy even more wet. Y/n: *smirks* “You’ve noticed?” David: “okay... I may have had wet dreams about you.” Y/n: “good.” David: *gets undressed and pulls off your pants* “you have no idea how much I’ve dreamt about eating you out.” Y/n: “please. Do something.” David: *His fingers reach your clit.”  Y/n: *You gasp at the feeling of him pressing down on your clit* “mmmm oh my god. Please suck on my clit.” David: *David twirls his tongue around your clit and fingers you* “babe you’re so wet. I can’t wait to fuck you sensless.” *David sucks your clit and fingers you faster* Y/n: “please don’t stop. I NEED to cum.” David: *feels her walls pulsate and she squirts on him* Y/n: “oh my god. Please make me cum like that 10 more times tonight.” David: “are you sure you want to do this?” Y/n: “I haven’t been this sure about something in a long time.” David: *aligns himself with your center and slowly thrusted into you.*  Y/n: *moans, almost screams* “holy fuck. I know your going slow not to hurt me but Dave, I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.” David: *he hears you out and the lust took over and started pounding into you fast and hard* Y/n: “DAVID OH MY GOD PLEASE KEEP FUCKING ME I’M SO CLOSE.” David: “Shit I’m close too babe” *pounds y/n as fast as he can and cums inside her.” Y/n: *cums right after* “oh...my…” David: *pulls out and sees his cums drip out* “Damn. I don’t think I’ve ever cummed that hard.” Y/n: “If you keep fucking me like that, it’s going to be hard for me to keep my hands off you haha.” David: “I would not have a problem w/ that at all.”
(it’s getting close to thanksgiving and Jeff decides to fly home to Staten Island early and the only people who kind of know about the situation are his siblings)
Jeff: “Hey ma.” Jeff’s mom: “Hello Jeffrey. Natalie couldn’t come?” Jeff: “yeah no. We’re kind of on a break rn.” Jeff’s mom: “Oh well that's too bad. Hopefully she’ll come for Christmas.” Karyn (Jeff’s older sister): “hey Jeff. Can you help me out w/ shopping? I have to go to Manhattan” Jeff: “Sure.”
*On the Staten Island Ferry*  
Karyn: “Okay so now that we’re alone, can you actually tell me what the fuck did you do.” Jeff: “Excuse me? The fuck you talking about?” Karyn: “I know that made up bullshit about y/n getting knocked up by a rando and Natalie asking for a break is a damn lie. Y/n was in love w/ you but you ignored all the signs and Natalie, she would only ask for a break if you were being a fucking idiot. I’m your older sister. I know when you’re lying.” Jeff: “Ugh fine… Y/n is knocked up w/ my kids and I basically said some horrible stuff that wasn’t true. As for Natalie, she was there to see me say all those horrible things and she dumped me on the spot, in front of the whole friend group…” Karyn: *stares at Jeff dumbfounded* “Excuse me did you say KIDS as in PLURAL??!” Jeff: “Yeah… She’s pregnant w/ twin girls…” Karyn: “Oh Jeffrey why the fuck did you act that way. You’re such an idiot. If mom and dad found out about this, they’d literally murder you.” Jeff: “I don’t know… I think it was because I got into something so serious less than a year after being dumped by Cierra; I panicked and I sabotaged myself. I know I’m wrong but I already fucked everything up. Everybody hates me.” Karyn: “I thought you changed Jeff when you got out of Prison.” Jeff: “What do you mean you *thought*” Karyn: “You have trouble w/ responsibility. When we were at your trial, you said you were not guilty, even when you got to prison, you still said you weren’t guilty but you were.” Jeff: “That’s different.” Karyn: “How?? You’re refusing to accept responsibility for those 2 babies. Jeff, you’re almost 30 years old. It took you 4 years after you got out to come to terms with what you did. Is it gonna take you until your 34 to realize you fucked y/n and those twin girls over? What is she gonna say when they ask for their dad huh? Sorry, daddy didn’t care about you? You either fix things with y/n ASAP or I’m gonna tell mom and dad.” Jeff: “what the fuck are you 5?! Why we gotta bring them into this?” Karyn: “so they fucking knock some sense into you Jeff and you know they are 100x worse than I am. I ain’t doin’ nothing to you rn because we’re in public. Imma give you until New Years... if you don’t tell them, then they gonna hear it from me...”
Karyn was never afraid to tell Jeff and their other brother how it is. Jeff knew that Karyn was right but he had no idea how he could possibly apologize for being a horrible human being to you. Will Jeff apologize before New Years? Will y/n forgive him?  
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mcustorm · 4 years
Text
45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked
The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.
I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.
The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.
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2. God’s Own Country
3. Pride
4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.
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5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.
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6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.
But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal. 
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7. Weekend
8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.
It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...
And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...
9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.
10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.
11. Uncle Frank* -  Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.
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12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.
13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.
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14. A Moment In the Reeds
15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:
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16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.
17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.
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18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”
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19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.
20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.
21. Giant Little Ones
22. Hidden Kisses
23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.
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24. Fair Haven
25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.
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26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.
27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.
28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.
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29. My Best Friend
30. The Curiosity of Chance
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31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.
32. And Then We Danced
33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.
34. Just Friends
35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.
36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy. 
37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.
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38. Beach Rats
39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).
40. Handsome Devil
41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”
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42. Monster Pies
43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.
44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.
45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.
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So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations! 
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savoies · 4 years
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If you write (Idk if you do) could you write something where you go home with Quinn during this quarantine and you have to play 2 v 2 with the boys and you get slightly injured and Quinn is super protective
word count: (704)
Hockey was a big thing in the Hughes family. There was no question about it. All the three Hughes brothers played and one day all three of them would be on an NHL team. So when you got to spend the quarantine with your boyfriend Quinn, so far it was 80% street hockey. You weren't complaining because you basically grew up liking hockey. You never played because there weren't too many youth teams where you were from but you enjoyed going to games with your family quite a lot. Since Quinn was in Vancouver most of the time for hockey and you were in college, Ellen and your mom agreed with you guys that it was probably a good idea to spend quarantine together since it was basically the only time you guys actually got to be in the same place.
“Hey you guys wanna head out front, we're gonna play.” Luke skipped down the stairs and reached you guys on the couch. Although you were quite comfortable on the couch cuddling huggy bear you thought that maybe it was a good idea to go outside and get some air.
“Sure we'll be out in a bit.” you told the younger Hughes brother. 
“Someones excited to play.” Quinn said as he spread out even more on the couch.
“Well yeah i love playing with you guys even though you guys are way better than me, and more competitive.” you said as you pulled him up with both of yours hands as he was a bit heavier than you.
“Am not.” quinn said as he stuck his tongue out.
“Yes you are, last time you pushed me out of the pucks way even though we were on the same team.” you stated as a matter of factly as both of you headed out into the breezy afternoon. Both of you continued on bickering as you reached the street. The boys were already set up and all you had left to do was put on your skates. 
“Same teams as last time?” Jack asked. Everyone nodded since they didn't seem to have a problem and got into positions.  You guys started playing and of course it got pretty rough but you didn't mind since you tended to push a bit too. Now here you were and the game was tied. So of course boys being boys they tended to get a bit more competitive when it was tied. The puck was in front of you so you decided to go for it. But Jack decided to try and steal it from you. Of course he did not tend to push you hard enough to push you down but after stealing the puck from you it resulted with you on your butt. 
“Oh my god Y/N im sorry, i didn't think i shoved you so hard.” he exclaimed before his older brother could say anything. 
“It's fine Jack, I'm fine, hockey is supposed to be rough.” you didn't have any brothers but you knew hockey was a rough sport from what you saw in games and when they played without you. You weren't one of those people to make a big deal because you knew it was something that came with the sport. Shoves and pushes. As soon as you started to get up and dust off your pants Quinn came over.
“Oh god babe are you ok, can you walk, did you hurt something,” he threw a bunch of questions at you. “Jack, I've told you to be careful, why can’t you be careful.” Quinn exclaimed as he got protective of you. He knew that you liked playing but he knew that they tended to get rough.
“Q relax, I'm fine, see i can walk,” you said as you took a few steps to show him so he could calm down. “Jack already apologized, now where were we, I think we were about to kick a certain team's butt.” Quinn laughed at the way how you could handle things easily and you don't let them affect you. You got back into positions and continued on playing. The end result was Luke and Jack winning and them teasing you guys for the rest of the day. 
a/n: ok this is such a late response to this and im sorry anon. im getting my creativeness back so expect more blurbs soon. i really like this one. here's the picture that i had in mind for this blurb.
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steve0discusses · 4 years
Text
Yugioh Ep 32 S4: Most Disturbing Kid’s Show Award Goes to This Episode
I often talk about how wonderfully effed up Yugioh is. What a freakin delight, how effed up this kid’s show is, somehow still remaining a Y7 kid’s show, despite everything it tries to do to get pulled off the air.
Y’all this was a filler season and it didn’t even have Bakura in it so...why did it go so edge? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for how many levels of “OK THERE, KID’S SHOW” it was.
But what the hell was that, Yugioh?
Anyway we start off completely normal in this foggy ass graveyard--Halloweens in this season so I’m down for this. Halloween is also...cancelled...this year, so at least I can celebrate it somewhat in a Yugioh episode. Then again, can you imagine how many people would be dressed up as sexy Covid?
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So I don’t really talk about the card game mechanics on here, and (full disclosure to any new people) I don’t know how to play this game. But, considering that this card doesn’t usually send you to distant graveyard memories IRL, lets get into it.
We’ve clarified before that Card Graveyard is a place--like an actual place--but that it isn’t the same place that the cards vibe in within the Puzzle necklace. It’s a separate place, but ALSO not the same place as the Shadow Realm, either. Card Graveyard is just...some other third place we never talk about.
TBQH I think the people who make this show have kinda forgotten how many random pocket dimensions we’ve made that are basically the equivalent of hell (including California, PS), and are just like “no one will write a blog about it and list them all in one place, we’ll be fine.”
We’ve only seen Tristan bum out here once in like S1 and he spent most of his time running away from the Grim Reaper. But, if you remember correctly, the Grim Reaper is currently hanging out and living his best life haunting some park in Japan, so now instead of the Grim Reaper it has...this?
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So is this a memory stored within the card graveyard, or did Dartz literally take Raphael to the card graveyard and tell him this was a real ass graveyard?
We’ll never know! It gets very vague from here on out!
(read more under the cut)
First off, I’d like to welcome our new guest star--the Rain--there’s a lot of rain in this episode, and we animate it by just making all of our characters glow. This comes through fine in animation, but in caps I just want you to know that no one has gone super Saiyan, they’re just...wet.
PS get a gander at Raphael’s baby boy mutton chop mustache. They somehow got longer with time? And also, when soaked his hair is just as spiky. Everyone on this show has unparalleled hair gel. The real heart of the cards.
Anyway, Dartz shows Raphael a bunch of gravestones and is like “Get it???”
and me, the audience, was like “no???”
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The headstones, by the by, aren’t...normal, either, they have Orichalcos symbols on them instead of words. So like...it sort of infers that his family was taken by Orichalcos, too. I mentioned before that it sorta feels like Dartz caused the whole shipwreck to munch up a bunch of yummy souls, and maybe he did in the Japanese version--cuz like...
...why else do all these headstones have Orichalcos symbols on this graveyard that you can only access through a card god like Dartz or Yami?
Just throwing that deep lore out there, and the fact that Raphael can’t really see it or understand is either because that didn’t happen or...Dartz totally killed his family, right? And that makes this relationship between the two of them extremely effed up?
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This is a great show for kids with separation anxiety.
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Which is...somewhat convincing of a motive for Raphael. He gives Raphael a way to move on from his trauma in the past, and it’s not a GREAT way to move on--but it’s falls in line with things Dartz has done with his other card generals by offering false redemption.
Like Mai needed to move on from her insane jealousy, so Orichalcos was her way to prove she was better than Joey Wheeler (which, honestly, no one needed proof of). Alister needed to move on from his dead brother, so Orichalcos was his way to get revenge. Valon also had a backstory but a bunch of it got deleted in the English version apparently so...
And Rex and Weevil needed...cards? I guess? I think they just needed a ride, mostly. And Orichalcos can give you a ride. It’s not like we had Uber in 2003 and clearly they were not fit for Caltrain.
And like Gurimo.............existed...?
Anyways, they’re looking for justice that they can see. Justice for their pain. To make that pain worth something for more than just suffering. A system where this type of thing can’t happen anymore. But the thing about justice is that...eh...it’s probably not done through cards that kill people.
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OH OK, KID’S SHOW.
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Mmmmm take in that burying up your grave imagery. Again, this show is rated Y7 for 7 year olds, and I think that’s amazing.
Anyway, this is symbolism that is so heavy handed that it really needs no explanation, so he’s just gonna dig dig dig for...days I guess? Relive his trauma over and over again? Dig up that past like you’re a popular artist on twitter and you gotta make all of your followers relive that time you got called out because you offended a hell ton of people?
(Which is so many people on art twitter right now, ps, you don’t even know which one I’m talking about because It’s SO MANY of them. Art twitter during Quarantine is like watching the fall of Rome but it’s freakin Art Twitter. Everyone’s the freakin worst and just poopin all over themselves as they roll all the way down the steps.)
But I want to know. Who’s grave this is? It has a slightly different meaning if it were his family’s or his own. I guess I’ll have to save it for the fanfiction.
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And so to add another level of spook, Raphael’s card mom shows up and kinda just stands there with a sad face?
Raphael’s reaction to seeing his card just alive and hanging out was “I’ll get to you in a sec, I gotta do some unforgivable evil, first.“
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WHERE DID THEY GO?
These two shots are like nearly back to back. They’re just GONE. No explanation.
And yes I’m gonna talk about the outfit because it makes no freakin sense, even for a Yugioh card. Granted, this was a show made in Japan, for kids, with a budget that had a limit. A lot of people get involved with these productions, many aren’t artists or historians versed in American History, just basic ass business people. That be TV.
But her outfit looks waaay too modern. Like she’s gonna go to a musical festival, drop acid and climb on top of a statue and take a bunch of instagram selfies and regret all of them 4 years later. If these are Atlantean cards, this is not an Atlantis outfit to match with Dartz, who has been dressed vaguely medieval. So whyyyyy would this girl be dressed more like a vague old western costume bought at a discount so she could vogue in front of installation art at Burning Man in 2008?
Anyway, I won’t even get into the bird that is slowly devouring her face as a stand in for a headdress or wtv. Just a lot of stuff happening here and I just wanna say, Yugioh did it so you won’t need to. Just delete that desire. Yugioh already did it so you are now free from wanting to draw...anything like this problematic situation on your own OCs.
And then Yugioh predicts exactly how I’d feel about this outfit.
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And she then lights ON FIRE and falls dead into the grave he just buried for her.
And in case you were like “kinda on the nose there, Yugioh, that got DARK” she climbs out of his own grave with a spooky ass face and no more coconuts to share with her bros and he’s like...
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Rapheal’s reaction was like...Ya OK I can get used to this, and Yami is just pointing at the scene desperately trying to follow Raphael’s brain waves.
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And like, this is YAMI.
Yami just walked through Yugi Hell earlier today. He’s seen some stuff. He’s already undug his own grave this morning in a more poetic card sort of way. But Raphael’s memories of literally digging up his family’s graves with his bare hands because Dartz told him to was...stuff he didn’t want to see today. (especially since it’s super suggested Dartz was the one who...murdered them in the first place, like I know it’s a reach but...it just feels like we were supposed to reach that conclusion)
But whether or not Dartz put the bodies here or gave Raphael a bunch of phoney graves, Raphael is still essentially siding with the guy who ruined the only thing he has left of his family--this paper card mom--and turned it into an undead evil Mom. And it just had...no freakin impact on Raphael at all.
Like what?
He just murdered your card mom. This is fine?
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Card shenanigans continue and Raphael eventually realizes what he should have realized like 10 years ago when he was digging up graves and killing card Mom’s. That maybe it’s a bad idea. So Raphael decides to sacrifice his remaining monsters to “free” them from the graveyard and basically commits suicide. There’s no other way to say it, really. He kills himself.
But wait, right when you figure this episode will end like every other Orichalcos fight before it...They decide not to.
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Like an angel from heaven, our drunk ass looking music concert reject descends from the clouds, along with all of Raphael's dead family members!
Yeah.
I REALLY didn’t expect them to show up. This was so much content it’s like...an entire season of any other TV show. I say that a lot with Yugioh but these episodes really like to just jam-pack it in there.
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And here I thought I’d actually have to take them off the Death Count one day. Here I thought 4 kids would do something to like...prevent this many dead kids, but I was wrong.
Everyone’s HELLA DEAD.
it’s both vindicating to actually say that, despite 4kids, these kids absolutely died, but also disturbing because even Raphael is like “ah, the hallucinations today are really swell, right?”
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NO, GHOST CHILD.
DON’T TELL ME THAT.
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And I’ve been over before how “heart of the cards” is a catch-all phrase that can mean literally anything in this show, and it’s not the first time that cards have kept someone’s spirit around. No word on his family members if they are thrilled to be trapped in a Pharaoh situation, or whether they only occasionally drop from the heavens, or whether they have actually been the spirit that was within each of these cards the whole time. I don’t know.
And so the card family “cures” one of the most evil people on this show.
He’s fine now. This guy murdered the hell out of Yugi, our main character, but don’t think nor worry about it. This isn’t the show to worry about such things.
This show has Marik.
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Bro and I were talking Star Wars the other day, and mostly about the Kylo Ren arc and how a lot of people happened to dislike that particular ending. Mostly about how there is a difference between your character being redeemed and being forgiven. I think this children’s show wants to redeem Raphael, but honestly, much like Kylo Ren--he’s just forgiven. And that’s fine. You don’t need to have your characters redeemed. We can stop at forgiveness.
And also, Yami forgives him immediately because he knows he can’t throw a single damn stone, his house is made out of 2 mm of extremely problematic glass.
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Man, RIP Weevil, right?
Weevil who just pretended to rip up a card that could have been Yugi and got tossed off the freakin Caltrain? Raphael got off so freakin lucky and I am boggled he’s still alive. He freakin killed Yugi!
The injustice to Weevil right now, omg. Not like I enjoy Weevil. I super don’t enjoy that character. But DAMN. Yami murdered Weevil for even mentioning Yugi. Just feels like there’s a bit of a hypocritical line here in how the justice is dished out and...that tracks for a Pharaoh so I’ll just let it go.
And also, looking at that sunshine and I’m pretty sure they’ve been up over 48 straight hours. No one’s slept since Yugi died, right? I mean Yami is fine. We know from Bakura that puzzle people don’t need to sleep, or eat, or have blood in their body. But like Seto really needs to get Mokuba to bed.
(Although I am 85% positive that Mokuba is still part Noah Kaiba so it is...also unlikely that kid sleeps anymore, just leaving Mokuba’s future therapist so much to unpack.)
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The GALL of this show right now.
Of all the generals--they saved RAPHAEL? Arguably the worst one?
I would take even Alister. I would take even Weevil.
Raphael?
I mean if he ends up as the next Duke Devlin, just driving us around for the final season of this show I guess I’ll accept this but, damn.
Raphael?
Are you sure, Yugioh???????????????????????????????????
Can’t we just let that guy die? He’s basically dead already, Yugioh. This guy does NOT want to be alive anymore. Literally everyone he cares about is super dead and now he doesn’t even have Card mom because she sacrificed herself to save his soul. This GUY.
I can’t believe Mai is dead but we still have Raphael.
The same disappointment when I watch British Bake off, man, they just...sometimes they save people and I’m like...no man...that one can’t bake. Just because they pulled something off last second does not mean they get to the semifinals. Raphael can’t bake.
Anyway, the episode attempts to end on a cliffhanger but like.
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Just want to reiterate how common and boring Earthquakes usually are to a Californian. This was the most normal thing in this episode.
Man.
Freakin Raphael.
Anyway, if you just got here and is like “I don’t know who the hell Raphael even is,” Yeah, I know, I didn’t think twice about the dude until like just now, but if it’s because you’ve never seen my recaps before, I’ll direct you to the link to read these in Chrono order:
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
Anyway, stay safe and have a very happy and safe Halloween alone eating your own carmel dipped apple slices.
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dzaneena · 3 years
Text
2020 Recap, Onwards 2021!
New year always makes us think of how our previous year has been. It’s been a heck of a ride and I think it would be sort of a good way to remind ourselves of the hardships, lessons learned, and growth there’s been in the past year. Here’s how mine turned out. January
Oh, new year, new hope. I thought this would be the year I could make it mine. Get the things I’ve always wanted and spoil myself with every little thing I could not have when I was younger. Job is going well, financially stable and able, everything was fine. This month, I’ve purchased my first Macbook. Yes, apparently I’ve been sucked up into the apple ecosystem and now I want to experience all of it if I can. I did and I’m happy about this. It’s been a dream for someone who always had to save each meal into two so I could have it for my next meal just so I can save money.
February
Oh, the month of love! Yes, yes. I had the chance to travel to Thailand, being the temporary adopted child of a friend’s family. I was thrilled to be there and experience this one-of-a-kind experience. At this time, the virus was not that rampant with everything and there were no restrictions for travel. We thought everything was fine and would be fine. 
March
A week after arriving from our trip to Thailand, I got a text from one of my closest friends asking if I would like to spend a weekend in Vietnam with her. Well, of course I did! At this time, finances were a-ok! I could afford it. Plus, the food there was really good at a low price! We didn’t spend much on this trip. We just hung out and took photos here and there.  We arrived one day before the city announced General Community Quarantine. We were lucky to arrive at that exact day or we would have been stranded in another country for God knows how long. :( Work was feeling the effects of the pandemic already. 50% of our workmates were laid off. This was a sad, sad time. I couldn’t help but think of all our workmates who had to think of how to survive without work through this pandemic under the quarantine with little to no mobility. 
April
Work has been... work. Everyone had to cut their hours and get back to basic pay. I am thankful to still have work but this took a big hit with my finances, of course. I live alone. Recently paying off the house I’ve invested in from last year. 
This was also the month my friends practically forced me to play mobile games. Thank goodness they did! This was where all my rage/frustration was spent. 
May
Remember that house I invested in? Yeah, that went down the drain, literally lol. I’ve been having problems with leaks and puddles of water coming through the walls of the house which caused a chain of serious issues, health-wise and safety-wise. This was a hazardous house to live in. I guess it’s true what they say about things being “too good to be true”. I’ve tried to settle this with the landlord but I didn’t get not one penny back, not even my deposit. I’ve been paying this for over a year. Much, much regrets. There’s a whole lot that happened during this time. I had to move out and decided to just cut further losses and be done with it. I couldn’t sleep at night for no idea how many weeks/months because of all that money I’ve invested that just vanished. I still feel a weird kind of sadness every time it rains. It always flooded in that house whenever it rained. So you can see how much I relate to that movie “Parasite”. 
June
Lucky I have a house to still come home to. This was the previous house I lived in before purchasing that God-forsaken flooded house. I was adjusting and trying to make the best of what I could for the time being. I had a small renovation project as well. 
July
Renovation project going well and it was my joy to see how clients were happy about it. This was also the first time I was seeing my mother since January and it was only for a few hours because she had to go back to our hometown within 24 hours or else she would have to be quarantined. Traveling was such a pain during this time. We can’t even go visit our hometown to see our family.
On the bright side, I got to try out a lot of food (all home-cooked, of course). And I got to learn to cook some Korean food as well. I was well into the k-drama world for this whole time.
August
Kittens were growing up well. My cat gave birth in May but a lot of things happened then. I had 3 cats pregnant almost at the same time. Needless to say, we had to castrate our lover boy cat, Brutus. Though he had one last go before we did this and got another round of our cats getting pregnant. I can’t even. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Had the opportunity to do a product photoshoot for a local ice cream business. It was an amazing experience and it’s cool to think that people actually believe in my photography skills if I had any. LOL. 
September
My birth month. I found out that I wasn’t even worth one minute of people’s time to text me. LOL. Well, life goes on. (Insert BTS’ Life Goes On)
On the positive side, my boyfriend’s family decided to do a Korean dinner (Samgyeupsal, Kimchi Jjiggae, Tteokbokki) for my birthday. It was really sweet of them. 😭🥰 I couldn’t spend my birthday with any of my family but they spent it with me. I’m tearing up just writing this down hehehe thankful for this second family.
October
One of my closest friends was getting married. I kid you not, we were waiting for this day to happen ever since college. We travelled to the city where he was getting married with the Friendship Pause crew. (That’s a whole other story LOL) It was nice getting a nice moment down from all the crap we’ve been facing. 
I was also able to get back to my hometown for my mother’s birthday. Despite all the travel restrictions, we managed to push through. My eldest brother and I are the only ones not living in our hometown. 
November
Ahh, yes. The year is almost over but it still feels like we’re stuck in March. During the span of the year lately, I’ve been actively looking for a second job for extra income. And thankfully, because I’m such a “never give up, never surrender” kind of person, I’ve landed a few jobs project-based for this year. I’ve been a graphic designer, personal assistant, transcriptionist, food photographer, social media manager assistant, etc.  I’ve also landed my latest job from a start-up company. It’s amazing how some people can see your grit and potential. I pray we all get to do what we want to do in life so it won’t be such a chore to do. My first (online) job is the very first job that I actually enjoy and everyday, I am really excited to get work done. Hoping that this company recovers from the economic hit of the pandemic fast. 
December
Ahh, the last month for this challenging year. What could be in store for us? I think this pandemic has hit us physically, emotionally, mentally, psychologically, and financially. It also makes you realize things. I realized that I’m no one’s go-to friend. I’m just that extra friend right there when you need me to be. Not a particular someone you call when something’s up. That’s okay, I guess. We can’t be everybody to...well, everybody! Haha! 
I’ve been into tech lately and with all the gaming I was doing, I created a gaming page somewhere along in those past months. Streaming games was one of my stress relievers. Hopefully, if I can have a stable source of income, I’ll be able to do this full-time seeing that traveling is still out of the picture.  All in all, this was such a shitty year. There are a lot of in-betweens that happened this year and I had to just highlight some things but basically, it’s just been so hard. I know I’m probably not the only one struggling and trying to survive on a daily basis. I am thankful that I have a job (3 actually, 4 if you count our online business on hiatus) and I am still able to put food into my stomach. But sometimes, we just need a good cry and some ice cream maybe.
If you’ve read this far, thank you! Thank you for actually caring to read my thoughts and random stuff I have in mind. We may not see each other but please know that I really appreciate your effort. 
On a lighter note, I hope everyone will be happier this coming 2021. Stay safe!
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aubrey-plaza · 4 years
Note
hope you're doing good during this crazy time! was wondering if you have any recs for crossbow canary fics to read?
so I have another fic rec list here that also has some dinah x helena recs so check that out too if you need more. 
You can always go to the tag and sort by kudos but the ones below are some of my absolute favourites and I hope you enjoy them as much as I do :)
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Crossbow Canary / Dinah x Helena:
In my darkness I remember
by ThanksForListening / @thanks--for--listening (13.154, complete)
summary: Helena gets stabbed, Dinah blows her powers, and everyone needs therapy.
notes: this is hurt/comfort at it’s FINEST. Two chapters, one from each POV with a delicious exploration of backstory and characterisation, and a story that will rip your heart out still beating. It’s a beautiful fic and honestly, any words I say won’t do it justice and you should just read it.  
would you like to cuddle under my weighted blanket?
by tonksremus (3721, rated M, ½ chapters)
summary: Dinah discovers Helena’s weighted blanket and then decides to wife her. Really. That’s the basis of this entire fic.
notes: there are simply no words to describe how fucking hilarious this fic is. Even before the big laugh out loud moment, the author sets up smaller bits and pieces for you to laugh over and the whole time I was reading it I had a smile on my face. I recommend not reading this in public. I don’t think I have ever laughed so much while reading a fic. Add to that a delicious cameo by Poison Ivy and great characterisation all around and you’ve got yourself a pretty stellar piece of writing. I cannot wait for the second part to this!
hoping to find (what i can’t figure out yet)
by sinandmisery / @sinand-misery (6863, T, wip)
summary: “I realized after I got to my class, I never got your name.”
“Oh, um- Helena.” She stands, hand outstretched awkwardly for a handshake. “Helena Rosa.”
“Dinah Lance,” she says, laughing as she shakes Helena’s hand. Her hands are cold from the bottles of beer, but Helena’s hands are warm - so warm - and Dinah doesn’t want to let go.
OR;
The college AU where they become friends and fall a little bit (a lot) in love.
notes: anybody who knows me knows I don’t read WIPs. full stop. I try to keep up and really love supporting my friends but wips are just so hard for me to keep up with and YET. There’s this college AU that’s so riveting and well written that I eagerly await the email that brings the next chapter with it. There’s intrigue and a solid backstory laced with a delicious banter and characterisation that’s just *chefs kiss*. I love it so much I made a social media AU for it.
For a Little While Longer
by Ciocco / @suolasirotin (1664, rated T, tw in story notes)
summary: ‘Psychologically speaking, vengeance rarely brings the catharsis we hope for.’
Helena has a choice to make.
notes: the way this was written had my throat in a knot and my chest warm the whole way out despite knowing that it would end well and there’s a beauty to the prose and the internal monologue that gives it such an authentic feeling. Your heart will hurt for Helena and sympathise and the way this moment was written, you will want to be drawn to Dinah. It’s so well written and I keep coming back to it.  
i don’t wanna be your friend (i wanna kiss your lips)
by MontagueBitch (porcia_catonis) (1090, G)
summary: Helena practiced this moment in front of her mirror a dozen times, and somehow, it still doesn’t come out right. How typical.
notes: Helena is a goddamn disaster and I love her so much. This fic reads like a movie, perfectly described with the right amount of dialogue and feels so natural and like them.  
Quarantine Oneshots / Chapter 17 - You’re So Vain  
by BlueJay_Silvertongue (1588, rated T)
summary: Helena and Diana attend a funeral in Italy, and Dinah finally confronts her feelings for Helena.
notes: so this is I think the second one shot in this series that’s CC, but in the first one it’s basically revealed that Diana and Helena sometimes sleep together. Still, it’s a short piece and manages to be so compelling and really stuck with me and I keep coming back to it. Part of a quarantine collection so I’m p sure author is doing a ficlet a day and I have to say the notes at the end are really uplifting as well!
I Don’t Deserve This (You Look Perfect Tonight)
by Dash_El (1168, rated G)
summary: “What’s wrong, Helena?” Dinah asks curiously. “Never danced with another girl before?”
“No, it’s not that.” Helena’s arms are rigid, her hands balling up into fists. She breathes out slowly before admitting the truth. “I’ve never danced with anyone before.”
notes: is there anything better than two people slowdancing together? the answer is yes: this fic. It’s slow and simple and practically evokes the imagery in your head.  
I’ve been at war for so long.
by D_writes (2235, rated G, will leave you hungry)
summary: One shot exploring a bit of Helena’s Italian heritage and some habits she brought with her from the old continent.
notes: Carla Lalli Music said Love is a thing you can taste, and she was right. I love a fic based around food and eating because what’s more caring that wanting your loved ones to be well fed? The Italians are good at this and having Helena connect with that part of her heritage and basing a story around it? Absolute pinnacle of poeticism.  
Pegasus
by catfishofoldin99colours / @catfishofoldin99colours (3617, rated G)
summary: A chilly rooftop evening, half a bottle of brandy down her throat, and the entire sky mapped out above. Not what Dinah imagined when she’d first thought of kissing Helena, but she’s not one to argue with the universe like that.
notes: will I ever stop recommending this fic? unlikely. I am a SUCKER for pining Dinah. Most fics in the tag are written from Helena’s pov but the absolute deliciousness that is a yearning Dinah is just. There are no words. They’re so goddamn awkward and I love them so much.  
Sleepover
by emmer_gency / @cleanquean (4549, T, wip)
summary: It’s not like Dinah doesn’t realise she’s got it bad for Helena; she knows that all too well, thank you very much. The problem is, what the hell do you do about it when it’s right there in your face, at work, at home, in your kitchen and in your bed? And how do you keep Harley Quinn from unintentionally ruining all of it?
notes: I just. I love this fic so much. Harley is the perfect foil these two morons being incredibly awkward around each other but I still just cannot get enough.  
i’d like it if you stayed (and i like you)
by mess_is_mine (3269, rated E)
summary: Living together, when Dinah hasn’t been laid in months, when they’re spending their nights in situations that get Dinah’s adrenaline going, when Helena has a habit of walking around in sleeveless shirts or even just a sports bra and low slung joggers?
Yeah, it was only a matter of time before Helena walked in at an inopportune moment.
notes: this is. very hot. features a very pent up Dinah being walked in on and hot and (surprisingly) tender smut.  
Hail Mary, Full of Grace
by zxywrites / @zxyjxy​ (3790, explicit)
summary: They have sex in a church. Not sure what else to say.
notes: relapsed gay catholics unite! but seriously, note I didn’t put an E but instead wrote out the word explicit. It’s explicit. They’re in a church. and yet, my favourite line isn’t a piece of smut but instead a section of gorgeous prose sprinkled throughout this story that really elevates it from being gratuitous smut to something absolutely beautiful. But it’s also really hot.  
no fic specifically but all of @thewomanofwonder / thewomanofwonder’s stories are good!
and of course you can read the fics I wrote
Happy reading, Anon!
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inawickedlittletown · 4 years
Text
And...They Were Zoommates (one-shot)
Summary: Buck and Eddie work for the same company but have never met until working from home during the covid-19 pandemic has them using zoom video conferences. 
Ship: Buck/Eddie
Words: 7,729
Rating: G
Notes: I blame a few people over at the buddie discord for this fic happening. 
With the state of the world being what it is, quarantine fic seems inevitable and I wanted to write something fluffy and happy. I will admit that I'm not super pleased with this fic but I'm posting it anyway. Enjoy. 
Read on Ao3
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The memo went out on a Monday. Everyone was going to be working from home and they had two days to prepare everything and make their work remote. Buck had been waiting for it to happen. It was a matter of time after the schools were shut down followed by the libraries and then curfews were put on bars and nightclubs. And then as the numbers of infected kept rising, most places started trying to figure out how to make their staff work from home. 
The whole thing wasn’t going to be ideal, but if it meant that more people weren’t out and about getting exposed to Covid-19, well, Buck figured that it was probably a good thing. Buck had done his research, after all, and he knew that it was more than just a flu and that while the WHO didn’t want to call it a Pandemic yet, they soon would. He also knew that in the states things were going to go bad and fast. 
A few days later, Buck had set up a work-station at his apartment. His work laptop was going to remain at his kitchen island so that Buck would feel like he was going somewhere to go to work. He was going to get up at his usual time and maintain his routine partly because he knew it would drive him crazy if he didn’t, but also because a lot of his work was going to require video conferencing and Buck was not going to show up on one of those calls in his PJs. 
On day one, he spent about an hour figuring out what the hell Zoom was. 
Then, he spent another hour trying to log in because for some reason it just wouldn’t let him. 
After that, Buck finally had access to his work and then he dived into what he needed to get done for the day. A bit of time into it, he got an email about the meeting that had gone from in person at the office to a video conference. 
Looking at the email thread, he was not the only one having issues with logging into things and figuring out Zoom. 
The thing about the quarantine and the work from home order was that it had come at a horrible time for them. It was absolutely necessary and they all understood that, but it was happening just as they were taking on a big project that required the work of many different departments at the office. Buck didn’t think he even knew any of the people he was going to be working with other than his boss. That was the part that made him just a little bit nervous and unsettled. Group projects had always been the bane of his existence back when he was in school and he sort of suspected that this was going to end up being a similar experience. 
“So, you’re going to be working here, Daddy?” 
Eddie was in the middle of setting up his computer and making sure that he had all the right paper files out. Working from home wasn’t going to be ideal, but Eddie was thankful that he could do it. He couldn’t imagine how else he would have been able to handle things with Christopher out of school and on top of that knowing that his abuela was one of those at risk people so the last thing Eddie wanted was to have to saddle her with watching Christopher. 
“I am, kid. So while you’re doing school, I’ll be doing work. And then we can have lunch together.” 
“This is very silly, Daddy.” 
Eddie chuckled. “It is, isn’t it? But, remember I told you, it’s so that everyone can be safe and so that people don’t get sick.” 
“I know,” Christopher said. 
Eddie ruffled his hair and then nudged him to go back to where he’d been working on what looked to be a math packet. While Christopher went to do that, Eddie got himself set up, but he went to check on Chris a moment later and it was always just to impressive how smart his son was.  
When he got an email about the video conference, he left Christopher to his math and went back to the laptop. Logging in was a task and a half and Eddie emailed his frustrations to the others until he finally got the thing to work and at least it didn’t seem like he was the only one struggling. 
By the time that they had all made it onto the conference call, they were starting the meeting late by about forty five minutes. In that time, Christopher had at least managed to keep himself working and not get too distracted, but Eddie was just waiting for it to happen. It was why he’d left out some apple slices for him as a snack that might keep him from bothering Eddie. 
“Hello, everyone,” Bobby said. “I know this is going to be unconventional and probably make some of us want to tear our hair out, but we’re going to pull this off. It just requires that we all try our hardest to communicate with each other.” 
Eddie wasn’t new to the job, but his job was pretty isolated. So while he knew Bobby because he was their boss, he didn’t know anyone else on the call. He knew Howie — Chim — by reputation alone because he was Bobby’s right hand man but he didn’t know Henrietta or Evan. Henrietta liked to be called Hen and she was the most relaxed of all of them, looking like she was just chilling out on her sofa. Bobby looked to be in a home office type space and he’d gone through the trouble of putting on a collared shirt and tie. Chim was in an AC/DC t-shirt and out on a balcony of all places. Evan — who apparently went by Buck for some reason — was missing the tie to his button up, but the look was good on him. Just a bit put together. It was Buck that Eddie would be working closest with. He seemed friendly and nice enough but also very very attractive.  
Buck didn’t think he’d ever written or replied to so many emails in his life as he did in the first three days of working from home. 
The whole thing had been confusing for Sebastian, his dog, who didn’t seem to really understand why Buck was waking up and doing the whole shower, coffee, spending ten minutes staring into the abyss of his fridge every morning before taking him out on a walk, returning to the apartment and then not leaving. After the third day, Sebastian seemed to get over it. 
By day four, Buck was sort of getting sick of going to work in the kitchen. So, he moved to the living room which worked for about a half hour before Sebastian decided it was a good time to try and get a belly rub which led to no work. He did eventually get some done later when he went back into the kitchen for a Zoom conference with Bobby. 
Taking Sebastian out on walks was basically the only time that Buck was going out. and it was weird how the usually busy streets were empty. He’d been smart about getting enough food to last him a few weeks back before the working from home thing started and Buck was reluctant to go out to any grocery store when he heard all the horror stories about how packed those places were. But since Buck wanted to keep Sebastian on his usual schedule, it meant that he really only went outside three times a day and not for very long at all. 
It wasn’t like Buck even had any real down time when he had to be in meetings or responding to emails or just doing his own solo work. The person that he was mostly emailed was someone he’d never met or worked with before. Eddie Diaz. The first time he’d even laid eyes on the guy was in the initial video conference. 
On the morning of day five, it was an email from Eddie that woke Buke.  
Hey, 
Let me know when you have time and we can get on Zoom. I figure we can go over everything we’ve done so far. 
-Eddie Diaz
Buck went through his morning routine which included push ups and sit ups and a bit of stretching before he got in the shower, got dressed and went down for breakfast but more importantly coffee. Sebastian ate when Buck served him some kibble and then they went out for their morning walk. Buck emailed Eddie back as soon as he’d made it back into the apartment. 
They settled for a Zoom conference in an hour and Buck started preparing everything he’d worked on to share with Eddie. Their collaboration was pretty much imperative for the whole project to work. 
Seeing someone through a computer — especially a stranger someone — was odd. He’d seen Eddie before at this point, but they hadn’t had a one on one video call. 
“Hi,” Eddie said. “How are you?” 
“Uh, good. You? How’s this whole quarantine working out for you?” 
Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “It is what it is. Anyway, so I figure we both have to be on the same page.” 
“Yes. Definitely.” 
It was a little awkward until they started talking about the project and then everything just fell into professionalism. Still, Buck had eyes and he could tell even through the screen that Eddie was attractive. He smiled with all his teeth and his eyes were warm and expressive and Buck could tell that Eddie was as passionate as Buck was about the project. 
“So, we touch in every day?” Buck asked. 
“Yes. Video probably works best. Text always leads to misunderstandings.” 
“You’re right about that.” 
Sebastian chose that moment to bark and when Buck looked at the clock, he was about due for a walk. Before the work from home thing happened, Buck had a dog walker that stopped by every day to take Sebastian out. 
“Oh, is that your dog?” Eddie asked. 
“Yup. Letting me know it’s time for his walk,” Buck said with a roll of his eyes. 
Eddie chuckled. “I’m sure he’s happy to have you at home.” 
“Probably. Or maybe he’s missing the dog walker.” 
Eddie laughed again and when he laughed he looked stupid pretty. “I’ll let you get to your dog, then, Buck. See you tomorrow?” 
“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” 
—-
On day six of quarantine, Eddie had to leave the house. He’d been so busy in the days leading up to the work from home order that he hadn’t had much time to actually stock up on much of anything. Usually that was fine because Eddie wasn’t much of a cook and he relied on whatever his abuela cooked and then pushed Eddie to take home with him. Then there was also Carla who took care of Christopher and not only did the shopping but then the cooking too. Eddie just tended to rely on ordering in, but doing that every day was both bad for his wallet and probably not good for him or his kid. 
The only annoying part about all of it was that he was going to have to take Christopher out. Eddie would have preferred otherwise, but he didn’t want to bother his abuela or Carla. It was just a matter of being very careful. But before they could go out, Eddie needed to do his daily call with Buck. 
“Okay, buddie, I want you to get working on your reading, okay? I have to do work for a bit but then we’re going shopping.” 
He set up the computer and went and grabbed himself a glass of water before he initiated the call. He almost laughed when Buck picked up. 
So far, Buck had always been dressed as if he were actually going to the office. Polos and button ups and nice sweaters, but on this day he’d apparently given up on that because he was in a dark tank top and his hair had gained a bit of curl to it. 
“Hi,” Buck said. “Sorry I look a mess.”
“You look fine,” Eddie said. “I usually look a mess, so it’s a nice change.” 
“Funny,” Buck said. 
Eddie just shook his head at him. “No, it’s fine. You look fine.” 
Better than fine, probably, since Buck was just effortlessly attractive and there was something about the dishevelled look that really did it for Eddie. 
They got to business talk, answering questions and suggesting things for the next phase of the project. They were actually both doing well with their deadlines. Of course with the whole Covid-19 thing getting worse and worse, no one knew if rollout would go on as planned. 
“And what else are up to today?” Buck asked once the business talk was over. 
“I have to go grocery shopping,” Eddie said. “Kinda a hassle because I have a son.” 
“Wait, you have a kid?” Buck said, he practically shouted it and his eyes widened. “Sorry. I just...I really love kids.” 
Eddie chuckled. “Yeah, he’s eight. His mom’s not in the picture, so it’s just the two of us.” 
“And you’re going to take him out?” Buck asked, frowning. “You know how crazy the stores are right now, right?” 
“Kinda unavoidable. Can’t leave him home alone and I don’t have anyone to watch him and we need to get a few things.”
“For your sake, I hope you’re not hoping to find toilet paper,” Buck said. 
Eddie rolled his eyes. “No. Small mercies. I bought some before all this madness. Just after food, really.”
“So get it delivered. There’s apps for that now.”
Eddie hadn’t even considered that possibility but Buck was right. “You know, I think you just made my day a lot easier.” 
“Good. I’m glad. Anything to help you, man.” 
“Thanks,” Eddie said. “And what are you up to?” 
The thing about talking to Buck was that it gave him a connection to the outside world. Sure Eddie called abuela and his tia every day to check in with them and see how they were doing or if they needed anything but that felt different than talking to Buck. Even talking to his parents who were in a whole other state or his sisters — when they felt like answering the phone — was  less stimulating. Maybe it was because they were family and Buck wasn’t. 
“I am hanging out with Sebastian for the day and catching up on some Netflix. Might bake something. I’ve been having the worst sweet tooth but unless I eat straight sugar, I don’t have anything sweet in this house.” 
“Sebastian is...”
“My dog,” Buck said with a grin. “I know, human name. No one gets it but my favorite Disney movie is—”
“The Little Mermaid,” Eddie finished for him. 
“Exactly.” 
Eddie shook his head at Buck. “Okay, I’m going to figure out this grocery delivery thing.” 
“It might not be same day,” Buck said. “Maybe it depends.” 
“I have enough food to get by for at least a few more days. But better to get this out of the way.” 
“Yup,” Buck said. 
“And what about you? Did you go out and stock up before all of this?” 
Buck rubbed at his neck in what was clearly a nervous habit. “I bought a lot of stuff,” he said. “But I figured it was best to with all that’s going on. Really, it’s our responsibility to stay home right now. And it doesn’t look like this will be over any time soon.” 
“It doesn’t,” Eddie said. He kind of hated admitting that because it meant that things wouldn’t get back to normal faster. 
Eddie just wasn’t too big a fan of spending a lot of time in doors. That just wasn’t who he was. And Christopher had already been asking about going to the park. Eddie had taken him outside into the yard for a while every day but he could tell that Christopher was getting bored of that and bored of not being able to see his friends. 
“Okay, I’ll go figure that out now. I’ll email you if I have any questions.” 
Buck rolled his eyes. “Just video chat me. I’m kind of liking this a lot more than I expected.” 
It took Eddie about twenty minutes before he called Buck to ask for help. 
—-
On days seven and eight, Buck binged an entire show on Netflix. He got no work done, but he did manage to talk to Eddie for a part of his day. It was practically becoming routine. Sebastian had even decided to make an appearance and Eddie couldn’t praise Sebastian enough. 
“He’s gorgeous,” Eddie said. 
Sebastian was a cocker spaniel mixed with golden retriever. It was easy to see the different breeds in him and in Buck’s opinion it only made him cuter and it helped that when Buck adopted him, he was already well trained that he didn’t have to put too much effort into getting him to listen. 
On day ten, Eddie video called him for a second time late at night while Buck was in the middle of making dinner. He was in the middle of mashing potatoes but he still grabbed his laptop and set it up somewhere that the camera could see him. 
“Hey,” Buck said. “Anything going on?” 
“Not with work,” Eddie said. “Just — okay, so I’m a horrible cook and the internet isn’t exactly helping.”
“What is it?” Buck asked. 
“What does fold mean? Oh...I’m making chocolate mousse.” He panned the camera to where he’d already whipped some cream.
“That’s ambitious,” Buck said with a grin. “And folding just means that you mix it very gently.”
He gave Eddie instructions as he did it and it was definitely an experience to help someone cook — well, mix — something while not being present. 
“Thank you so much, Buck. I had no idea who else to ask.” 
“Really. I was your best option?” 
Eddie shrugged. “My abuela has never made mousse in her life. She makes Mexican things so. And my sisters would never let me live this down.” 
“Ah. So I’m the least embarrassing option.” 
“I suppose.” 
At that moment a kid ran right into the shot. He was small with curly blond-ish hair, and glasses. 
“Daddy, is it ready?” the boy asked. 
Eddie’s son was adorable. He was also disabled but it was very clear that it wasn’t something that defined him. And the way that Eddie looked at his son, it warmed Buck’s heart. There was just so much love between them that it was palpable.  
“Almost, Christopher. How about you go wash your hands?” 
“Okay.” 
He left again and Buck could hear — now that he knew — the way that his crutches clinked on the floor. 
“That’s Christopher,” Buck said. 
“Oh. Yes. That’s my son.”
“He’s adorable, Eddie. Like I said, I love kids.”
Eddie smiled wide, his teeth showing. “Yeah...well that one is my world.” 
“And you said the mother isn’t in the picture?” Buck asked.
Eddie shook his head. “No. She’s not. We’re divorced actually, but I have no clue where she is now. I don’t think I would even let her see him if she came looking. Not when she’ll just leave him again. I, um, I have primary custody and she didn’t even try to fight me on it.” 
“That sucks, man. Poor kid.” 
Eddie gave a nod. “He still talks about her sometimes but I think he understands she isn’t coming back.” 
It had to be hard raising a disabled child with an absentee mother. It made Buck admire Eddie even more. 
Eddie kept him on the call even when his son came back and he’d placed a couple of spoons of the chocolate mousse on a small bowl. 
“And what are you cooking over there, Buck?” 
“Mashed potatoes,” Buck said, “to go with my chicken breast. And maybe I’ll make a salad too.” 
“So you’re eating a healthy meal and I’m over here hoping my kid doesn’t start jumping off the walls after all that sugar.” 
“I hope that’s not all you’re having for dinner,” Buck said. 
“No. We had sandwiches earlier. That’s really the extent of my cooking. And he knows it too. Doesn’t expect much.” 
They stayed up talking that night while Buck got his dinner together and even as Buck started to eat. For Buck it practically feelt natural to have Eddie there on his computer. He didn’t care that he was wearing a stained t-shirt and that he hadn’t bothered with his hair all day and that Eddie was going to watch him as he ate. 
They talked about the virus because it wasn’t a topic anyone could easily escape, and then Buck told Eddie that his sister was actually a nurse. 
“She’s right in the thick of this. I’m so worried she’ll catch it but she just says it’s the hazard of the job. And it’s not like I could even stop by her place to see her now. I just worry.” 
“Well tell her I admire her a lot for working through this time.” 
“Thanks,” Buck said. “I’ll pass that along.” 
Eventually the conversation topic switched to something else until Buck’s plate was completely clean and yet he and Eddie just kept talking. Eddie told him about his family in Texas and then about his abuela and tia. 
“It’s my cousins that are really taking care of them,” Eddie said. “They get it. I have Christopher and everything. But I just hope they’re both okay after all of this since it seems like it’s harder on anyone that’s older.” 
“I’m sure they will be,” Buck said. “It’s all about staying home.”
“Yeah.” Eddie said. “Abuela gets stir crazy. So do I, to be honest.” 
—-
Day eleven was a bit of a hard day. He and Eddie didn’t talk at all but Maddie called him in tears because one of her patients died. He spent over an hour on the phone with her talking about it. The virus really wasn’t something to take lightly. After being reprimanded to stay home — even though he already was — Maddie let him go. 
On day twelve they had a big conference call with everyone working on the project. Bobby wanted information from everyone and it was lucky that he and Eddie shared everything with each other because when Eddie didn’t appear on the call, Buck was able to show them everything from his end. He tried not to display how worried he was, but he did send an email Eddie’s way. There was no response. 
Not hearing from Eddie made him antsy. It made him want to leave his apartment and go over to Eddie’s to make sure that he was okay. Buck with everything going on, Buck knew that he couldn’t be rash like that. 
It was on day fourteen that first thing in the morning, Eddie video called. 
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Buck asked before Eddie could even say hello.
“I’m fine. I should have emailed you, I guess. Things got a little out of hand. My cousin has the virus so I’ve been basically stuck on the phone because my tia Pepa was in contact with her and so abuela is freaking out. Pepa doesn’t seem to be showing any symptoms but she’s getting tested today and of course all the other family wanted to make sure I hadn’t been exposed or Christopher. So I’ve been a bit busy. But you were worried?” 
Buck knew he was blushing. “I may have worried a little.” 
“Or a lot,” Eddie said with a smile. “It’s cute.” 
“Well, we’re in quarantine, what else was I supposed to do?” 
Eddie just shrugged, but his smile was pleased and Buck was starting to figure out that he maybe didn’t have any friends like Eddie. That maybe Eddie was more than a friend or someone that could be more than a friend. 
“How’s your sister doing?” 
“She’s still working and still holding on. I don’t know how she can be this strong.” 
Eddie nodded along. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? How strong someone can be — how amazing it is to be witness of that? Christopher is probably the strongest person I know.” 
“I can imagine,” Buck said. “What, um, what is—”
“He has CP,” Eddie said. “But that hasn’t stopped him from doing anything he wants to do.” 
The way that Eddie smiled when he talked about Christopher was almost enough to have Buck smitten. The thing was that he’d never connected with anyone the way that he connected to Eddie. Buck hoped that when it was all over, he wouldn’t lose the friendship or any of what he was hoping was building between them. 
—-
By the time that it had been twenty one days on quarantine — a whole three weeks — Eddie was just about ready to tear his hair off. His growing hair because due to everything but essential businesses remaining open the likelihood of finding a hair salon was low. Eddie didn’t really mind that his hair got longer, it just meant that there were more steps to taking care of it. And even though all he really did these days was watch movies with his son, Eddie still felt like he needed to look good. None of it had anything to do with how he and Buck were still video chatting every day and the length of those calls kept growing and growing. 
Work had pretty much come to a stand still. The project was nearly finished but without a rollout date there wasn’t much for them to do. It meant that things were getting boring. 
He and Christopher had done as much as possible to not get bored. They went outside for an hour most days even if it was just to sit out in the sun. It just felt nice to get outside sometimes. 
Other days they watched movies or shows or Christopher did some drawing and played with his toys. Buck was also there for most things through the screen of his computer or phone. Buck made things a bit more bearable even if Eddie could tell that he was also stir crazy. The only time that Buck went out was to walk Sebastian, but on a few occasions even while out on a walk he would call Eddie and Eddie would get a glimpse of the nearly empty streets.
“I wish I could be out there with you,” Eddie said on a sunny day. Day twenty three of quarantine. 
Buck was on a walk with Sebastian and it was eerie how everything looked just a tad too empty. 
“When this is all over we can go on the longest walk,” Buck said. “We can visit every ice cream shop and any taqueria. We can do anything you want.” 
“Eager to meet me in person, Buck?” 
“Maybe a little,” Buck said and he was just so completely honest.
Eddie would be lying if he didn’t feel something for Buck. There was the friendship they’d formed and the fondness but there was more too. Maybe it was because they were so open with each other and maybe a bit vulnerable, but it was also that Buck was sweet and wonderful and that he genuinely seemed interested in Christopher. 
Eddie would forever remember what happened on what must have been day seventeen or maybe it was sixteen — the days were really blurring together — when Christopher had gotten curious about why Eddie was laughing. 
“I’m just talking to a friend. A coworker.” 
“A friend?” Christopher asked. 
“Yeah. Hey, Buck, you want to meet Christopher?” 
“Of course.” 
Eddie knew that Buck said that he liked kids, but he didn’t expect the patience or the interest that Buck bestowed on Christopher. He didn’t seem to mind listening to Christopher talk about homeschooling or even a silly story about the bunny they’d spotted out in the yard a few days earlier. 
Buck was just wonderful. He asked about Christopher every single call and if Christopher wasn’t busy with schoolwork then sometimes Buck would just talk to Christopher. Buck was just kind of perfect. 
“Are you for real, you want to meet up once we can leave our houses?” Eddie asked. 
Buck chuckled and he ducked his head. His cheeks were noticeably pink even through the phone and Eddie really really liked him. He was adorable. 
“Yes, Eddie. Or should I say, Edmundo.” 
Eddie rolled his eyes. “I told you that with so much confidence and if you keep bringing it up I’m just going to start calling you Evan.” 
“Fine. But, yeah, Eddie. I think you’re one of my closest friends.”
“That’s just quarantine talk,” Eddie said.
Even though for him, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. The way that he felt about Buck...the way that he felt happy whenever he saw Buck was calling, it made Eddie so absolutely sure that it was more than friendship because they were relying on each other for outside contact. 
“It’s not,” Buck said in all seriousness. “I like you, Eddie. And I think if we had met in any other way I would have liked you then too.”
Talking about his feelings had never been easy for Eddie. What Shannon did to him and Christopher had maybe made that so much worse. 
So it was hard to say it, but Eddie felt like he would burst if he didn’t. “I like you too.”
“Is that a blush?” Buck asked with a goofy grin that told Eddie that Buck was pleased. 
“I’m going to go now. I’ll talk to you later,” Eddie said because he didn’t know if he could keep talking to Buck without being a mess. 
—-
He felt like he could fly, like the butterflies in his stomach from the first moment that he told Eddie he liked him, were ready to just lift him right off the ground. 
And Eddie saying that he liked him too, it nearly killed him to hear it and Buck just wanted for Eddie to be sure that Buck did mean it. 
So with very little to do for work and boredom creeping into almost everything he did, Buck started to plan. There was a way to use Zoom for screen sharing and Buck had helped Eddie with his grocery order so he knew where Eddie lived. He also knew that Eddie and Christopher were both fans of chocolate. 
So Buck called up a local bakery and ordered cupcakes to be delivered to Eddie that night. The girl on the phone seemed entirely pleased with getting the order at all and it made Buck wonder how much business they were actually having. It made him order some cupcakes for himself as well. 
Then he browsed through Netflix for something that Eddie would enjoy but that Christopher could watch too. He found a few different choices and figured he’d just offer Eddie a choice and then he went and got ready. Cleaning himself up a bit and even shaving the growing beard on his face. Then he put on one of his favorite shirts and went down and got his laptop and settled himself on his couch. He got up only when his cupcakes arrived, being just dropped off at his door which meant that Eddie would get his soon too. Buck was going to wait for Eddie to just call him after it arrived. 
The call came just ten minutes later. It was Eddie and Christopher. Christopher had clearly already eaten a cupcake because there was frosting on his nose. 
“You got them?” Buck asked.
“Yeah. Buck, I — you’re incredible. You know?”
Buck smiled at them. “And just wait, I have a whole night planned for us. A quarantine date, if you will.”
“Daddy, what’s that?”
“What?” Eddie asked. 
“What Buck just said.”
Watching Eddie with Christopher and the way that he was such a good dad, it did things to Buck. Buck had always loved kids. He didn’t get a lot of opportunity to be around kids, but he’d always wanted to be a dad. Someday. Maddie often said that it was mostly because he was such a kid that he got along so well with most children. And Buck could tell that Eddie was a good dad. It somehow made him even more attractive. 
—-
When the doorbell rang, Eddie had almost expected it to be one of his cousins or maybe his tia. Instead, he opened it and found a cardboard box from a bakery and atop it an envelope with a note. Eddie took it all into the kitchen, gave the outside of the box a wipe with some lyrol surface wipes and then opened the envelope and pulled out a small card. 
Eddie, 
I figure why wait for our first date? I’m sending you something sweet for you and Christopher and I’m setting up a movie date for the three of us. 
Call me when you get this, I’ll be waiting. 
-Buck
Eddie had never experienced someone like Buck before. Eddie just hadn’t expected for Buck to make a gesture like this and it was just unattached to any expectations and Buck just included Christopher like it was the natural thing to do. 
“Daddy, what is it?” Christopher asked. 
“My friend. You remember from the computer?”
“Buck!” Christopher yelled out. 
“Yes, that one. He sent us a present.” 
Chistopher made a noise in excitement and Eddie chuckled before he opened the box. There were twelve cupcakes inside, each expertly frosted and they were clearly themed. Eddie shook his head and tried not to laugh when he looked at them. There were four rows and each of the rows were decorated differently. The first one was blue frosting with a single roll of toilet paper sitting at the top. The next one had a spray bottle. The one after that had a face mask. The last had hearts. 
“Can I have one, Daddy? Please?” 
Eddie gave in and let Christopher pick out his treat. Then he went and grabbed his laptop to call Buck. 
“You got them?” Buck asked the moment he appeared on the screen. 
“Yeah. Buck, I — you’re incredible. You know?”
Buck smiled at them. He looked good. The scruff that had been growing on his jaw was gone but his hair was still a bit on the curlier side and Buck had explained that it was because it was getting long. Eddie loved it. 
 “And just wait, I have a whole night planned for us. A quarantine date, if you will,” Buck said, his smile was so wide and Eddie wished that they were in the same place because if they were he might have kissed him. 
“Daddy what’s that?” Christopher asked. He was right in the view of the camera and his face was a little messy from the cupcake he was eating. 
“What?” Eddie asked. 
“What Buck just said.”
“It means that since we can’t leave the house we’re going to stay here and he’s going to stay at his apartment but we’re going to hang out. How does that sound, kiddo?” 
“Fun,” Christopher said. 
Eddie looked back at the screen. “So, what does this date entail?” 
Buck smiled at him. “Okay, so I did a bit of research and I was going to try to use Netflix Party for this but then we’d lose the video chat aspect. But we can do screen sharing with Zoom so how about a movie date?”
“Sounds perfect, Buck.”
Buck grinned. “Awesome.”
It was perfect in a weirdly unconventional way. Buck had picked out movies that were Christopher friendly and with Christopher right there, they had a quick choice. Hook. Buck admitted that he’d never actually seen it before. 
“We weren’t big on movies growing up,” Buck admitted. 
“That’s kinda sad, Buck,” Eddie said. “Have you been catching up on everything you missed while you’re stuck at home?” 
Buck rolled his eyes. “Sort of.”
Christopher had never seen Hook either and he was excited when Buck got everything set up on his end. Watching a movie with another person that wasn’t in the room with him was different and yet watching Buck’s reactions to the movie on the screen and the way that they almost matched Christophers was endearing. Eddie really really liked Buck. 
—-
Quarantine kept going. No one knew when it was going to end. By day thirty three, Buck was really getting sick of it. He took Sebastian out on longer and longer walks and he spent as much time as he could out on his balcony, overlooking the empty streets and the very few people taking walks outside. He and Eddie still used Zoom as the primary form of contact, but they’d exchanged numbers too so that they texted constantly, sending memes back and forth because that was one of the few good things to come out of the whole mess. 
Eddie made it all a bit better, even though Buck couldn’t actually be with him. But the prospect of finally getting to see him in person kept Buck going. Almost every day one of them mentioned all the numerous things that they wanted to do once they were allowed out again. 
“I want to go to a museum,” Buck said. “Art or history — it doesn’t even matter. I just want to go. And you’re welcome to come with me.” 
“I want to go to a restaurant and actually be able to eat there,” Eddie said. 
“Amusement park,” Buck added. “A concert.” 
“The mall. I hate shopping, but I’d love to be able to go to the mall.” 
“I’d even love to go back into the office. Or...maybe just anywhere with you.”
Eddie always had a pleased look when Buck mentioned the two of them getting together. They didn’t talk about it often, but they had Zoom dates every other day watching movies or eating together often with Christopher butting in not that Buck minded that in the least. It was late at night when Christopher was in bed that Buck and Eddie had time alone and in the cover of darkness things were different. That was when things got deep. 
It was late at night that Eddie told Buck about Christopher’s mother, Shannon and the turbulent relationship. It was also when Buck told Eddie about Abby and how she left him. They shared stories about growing up and about how they each figured out their attraction to men and women. They talked about Christopher’s CP. They talked about how Buck didn’t actually love his job but that it was something he’d fallen into. Eddie told Buck about his time in the Army. 
Other nights it was different. Less morose. 
They talked about them. About how strange it was to fall for someone over Zoom of all things and yet how their connection was real. The attraction was real. And they both absolutely longed for the day when they could be in person together. 
“I’m going to kiss you so hard, Edmundo Diaz,” Buck said one night after yet another movie night. Christopher was in bed and Buck had walked up to his own bed as well. “You won’t know it’s coming.”
“Well, you’ve just given me warning so now I’m expecting it, Evan,”
“As long as you’ll kiss me back,” Buck said. 
“Of course I’ll kiss you back. I’ll always kiss you back.” 
—-
Day forty hit Eddie hard when he realized that it had been forty days since he stepped outside his house. Christopher was so adaptable that he was fine with the way things were. And truth be told, Eddie had gotten used to working from home. He’d also gotten really used to having Buck on a screen for most of the day or just a text away. Buck texted him good morning every morning when he woke up and Eddie would call him on Zoom and take him along as he and Christopher did their morning routine. 
Buck even taught Eddie how to make pancakes one morning when he was in the middle of eating some and Christopher wanted some too. Eddie usually relied on mixes that just needed water, but Buck instructed him and Christopher until the finished result was fluffy discs that he and Christopher ate ravenously. It made Eddie wish he could have Buck in person. 
The longer the quarantine went, the more that Eddie longed to see Buck off a computer screen. If it wasn’t for Christopher and his CP, Eddie would have already gone and asked Buck to come over or gone to join him at his apartment. But even though Buck had been stuck inside his home and clearly wasn’t sick, Eddie wasn’t stupid enough to risk it. 
So instead he and Buck daydreamed of the day they would finally get their in person date. 
“You know,” Buck said on day forty three, “we’ve been on so many virtual dates already that we should be way past third base.”
Eddie laughed at that. “Oh, Buck.” 
“Listen,” Buck said in a quieter tone, “you don’t make it easy looking like you do.”
“And somehow I’m just fine even though you look like that,” Eddie said. 
Buck just pouted at him. It made him look cute more than anything. Eddie pushed his hair back. It had grown quite a bit since he hadn’t been able to go out and get a haircut but Buck seemed to like the length. It made Eddie consider keeping it. 
Some days they just threw out date ideas at each other. Buck told him he would take Eddie out on a hot air balloon and they could have a picnic up in the clouds. Eddie wanted to take him rock climbing. Buck wanted to go to the zoo but mostly because Christopher wanted to. Eddie wanted the two of them to go hiking. Buck wanted to take Eddie to the beach to hang out at the pier but also out on the sand so they could build sand castles together. Eddie mentioned being good at bowling and Buck wanted to beat him at it. Buck also wanted to beat him at pool. Mostly, though, the two of them wanted to do anything as long as they could do it together. 
But their work from home was being extended as was the stay at home order. Things were bad and Eddie couldn’t really handle watching the news anymore because it was always more and more depressing. 
He could tell that it was getting to Buck some days more than others. 
“I just — I hate this, you know, the staying inside and the lack of seeing anyone but then you hear all these things about the number of cases and it’s horrible. And my sister is right in the thick of it and she’s okay but I worry about her. She called me last night and she was just crying the entire time. And it’s just horrible. And then you have all these idiots not taking it seriously even forty something days into this quarantine and I don’t get it.” 
“I don’t get it either, Buck. I really don’t.”
—-
Buck stopped counting the days after day forty five because counting made him feel more like a prisoner in his own home more than anything else. So when the stay at home order was finally lifted after what felt like a couple of year length months, it was Eddie that told him they had been in quarantine for nearly seventy days. 
“That’s impossible,” Buck said. 
“My hair says otherwise,” Eddie said. 
At some point, Buck remembered Eddie trying to figure out how to cut his own hair and it had been a combination of Christopher thinking it was a bad idea and Buck repeatedly telling Eddie that he didn’t mind the longer hair that stopped him from doing it. 
“It’s still going to be a while before life goes back to normal,” Buck said. 
Eddie shrugged his shoulders. “But there’s an end in sight now.”
They were still going to keep working from home but the prospect of getting back to the office made things better. It also meant that they all needed to get back on track which began with another Zoom conference with Bobby and all the others. 
Buck looked professional again which made Eddie laugh a little. 
“What’s so funny, Diaz?” Buck asked. 
Everyone was paying attention to him and he could feel himself blushing. “Nothing. Nothing. Let’s get the meeting started.” 
It was after the meeting that Buck called him. He was in a t-shirt and looking a lot more relaxed which made Eddie burst out into laughter. 
“You changed,” Eddie said. 
“Yeah. So?” 
“It’s just cute you dressed up for the meeting,” Eddie said. “You’re just adorable, Buck.” 
“I’m—”
“I like it,” Eddie said and then after taking a deep breath. “So, when can I see you?” 
“Now?” Buck asked. 
—-
The first time that Buck saw Eddie in person he felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He didn’t know why he was so nervous after all the time they’d spent talking and after everything they’d shared with each other but when Eddie noticed him and smiled Buck took a breath and stepped forward. 
“Hi,” he said. 
“Hi,” Eddie said back. 
“It’s nice to not see you on a screen for once,” Buck said.
“Yeah. I think I prefer this.” 
“Me too.”
It was different and a little bit awkward but it was him and Eddie and when Buck offered his hand to him, Eddie took it and laced their fingers and Buck knew with some certainty that things would work out. They may have met over Zoom video conference but it didn’t in any way make what they felt less real or less important. 
“So,” Eddie said.
“So,” Buck said and they both laughed until Buck moved closer. He could smell Eddie’s aftershave and their hands were still linked which grounded him as he leaned into Eddie’s space and kissed him. Eddie pulled him closer, gasping against his lips and deepening the kiss. 
“Told you I was going to kiss you,” Buck said. 
---
Notes: Thank you to anyone that read this. Considering the current situation across the world I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. 
Find my other Buddie fics here 
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marcmaccoy · 3 years
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”LA DIVERSIÓN EN IDIOMAS”
The title above is translated as, “The fun in languages”, something that I never really felt and had at the beginning. Ever since the quarantine started, I really did not plan to do anything nor to improve myself in any of my hobbies at all. Maybe it’s because I expected that all these crisis will be over in a week or two, which obviously and sadly, did not happen. Before, I just like to play my musical instruments, paint, and I got into Korean Dramas as well because of my friends. Sometimes, I bond with my pets and do cooking experiments too. All of these are done in order for me to avoid boredom. However, as time goes by, those things became a bit dull to me and I felt the need to discover something new.
Let me share a bit of my journey first.
As I watch Korean Dramas, I got this tendency to copy what they say and it became a habit of mine whenever I want to express something. So instead of saying, “Salamat” or “Thank you”, I often say, “감사”(gam-sa) which is an informal way of saying “Thank you” in Korean. Also, “안녕”(an-nyeong) which means “Hi”, “네”(ne) which means “Yes”, “아니”(ah-ni) which means “No” and many more. At that time, I didn’t know how to read their alphabet yet but because of my curiosity, I’ve thought of studying it. Surprisingly, I learned “한글”(han-geul) or the Korean Alphabet in just a day! Nine total hours to be exact. I was dumbfounded by how I was able to understand that in just a short manner of time. This inspired me to continue moving forward until I decided to finally learn the Korean language.
In the middle of my journey learning the said language, I began to encounter a lot of interesting facts about it. Such as it wasn’t the writing system of Korea before and how it only existed at about 578 years ago during King Sejong’s reign. It is said that “한글”(han-geul) was created in order for people with little to no education could learn how to read and write. Because before, many Koreans are illiterate due to their very complex Chinese-based writing system called Hanja (漢字) which is difficult to understand. Meaning to say, it was created by the King for the purpose of literacy. Also, the shapes of the letters in 한글 was based on the surroundings and how you say it. These are among the facts that I knew while I became deeply interested in Korea’s traditions, history, and cultures. I was so excited to be fluent that time. I even made flashcards to enhance my vocabularies, watched a lot of tutorials on YouTube, surfed many websites on the Internet, and proceeds to watch Korean series. Little did I know, I was going to unexpectedly give up studying this language. Why? Well, when I got into its grammar, I was surprised by how complicated it is. I also saw videos on YouTube about Filipino learners of the Korean Language that aren’t still fluent after years of studying. So I got a bit down and frankly, I lost my motivation.
Even so, my language learning journey did not stop there. I still want to learn a foreign language that interests me other than the ones I already know which is Filipino, my native mother-tongue and English, my second language. I tried Japanese because of Animes but it was a bit complicated too. They have three kinds of writing systems and the grammar is similar to Korean. French because I have a French uncle and a Filipino cousin and aunt which speaks fluent French but when I knew how it sounded and how the words were pronounced, I already lost hope. French pronunciation is too complicated for me. I also dig up about German because my main to-go-to country in the future is Switzerland and of course, I would want to communicate with people there. However, German is laborious too! The words, the combinations of letters, and the grammar is too confusing. Until I finally encountered the language that’s spoken by the first colonizer of my motherland and it is no other than Spanish.
I started by memorizing basic phrases such as, “Gracias”, “De nada”, “Hola”, and a lot more. I was, once again, amazed by how easy this language is spoken. It is because Spanish is a phonetic language. Meaning, the words are pronounced exactly the way they are spelled. Also since Spain colonized my country for about 333 years, we adopted a lot of words from them which are now considered as loan words. It is estimated that about 4,000+ Tagalog and 6,000 Visayan words came from Spain. Some of the examples include baso(vaso), lamesa(la mesa), tinidor(tenidor), kutsara(cuchara), bumbilya(bombilla), and banyo(baño). As well as the number system, the names of the months, days, expressions, greetings, and many more. For this reason, I was determined to continue learning it because unlike in the other languages, there is no need for me to struggle in memorizing new vocabularies.
I did the same things I did to Korean and just added some new tactics. While my school is on a term break after the first semester, I enrolled at a Spanish Beginner course online where we are taught by a Filipino teacher who is fluent in 5 languages: English, Tagalog, Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian. My cousin from France, who’s also fluent in Spanish, gave me books like Spanish dictionaries and grammar textbooks for writing and reading purposes. I was also able to use my Netflix binge-watching skills and started to watch a lot of Spanish series for listening purposes. And on YouTube, I began to discover facts about Spain. Their rich culture, history, and traditions, and how their language was influenced by Arabic as well. Additionally, Spanish is the 2nd most spoken language in the world, surpassing the English language, having over 460 million native speakers located in Spain and in Latin American countries. It is also the 3rd most used language on the internet. That’s a lot of people to talk to!
Furthermore, did you know that being multilingual gives your brain several remarkable advantages? Some of it can be seen such as higher density of the grey matter that contains most your brain’s neurons and synapses. It also helps our brain engage in more activities in certain regions where that language is spoken. And although not yet definitively proven, learning many languages decreases the rate of having dementia by 5 years! In addition, more businesses nowadays are seeking applicants who can navigate the modern global economy. It can be seen that in the 21st Century, knowing a second language is not only beneficial, but necessary for success in life. The continual globalization of the world’s economy is bringing diverse cultures and communities into more frequent contact with each other.
Looking back in time, I was nothing like this way before the quarantine started. Learning languages was never really included in my interests. But now, it is! In fact, I am even determined to shift my college course to something related to languages and pursue a master’s degree about linguistics. Indeed, it changed my life. It changed how I see things from a monolingual perspective and it opened a new horizon for me. Gladly, I was even able to have Spanish speaking friends! I have this one friend from Peru who speaks fluent Spanish and I happily encountered Spanish native people here in Facebook who are trying to learn a different language as well.
Overall, my experience was a blast! There are times that I became tired and almost lose my motivation because of how slow my progress is. But even so, I will not give up. I am not fluent yet and I still have a lot to know but I will keep on practicing until I become one. I believe that in the near future, it will open new opportunities that will be helpful for me too. Moreover, It has always been my dream to travel and I truly think that language learning will be an aid to that. Hoping that I’ll be able to talk to that nearing 500 million people soon!
Before I end my blog, I just want to share this quote from Charlemagne, also known as Karl and Charles the Great, a medieval emperor who ruled much of Western Europe during 768-814, “To have another language is to possess a second soul.”
Bueno. Eso es todo. Gracias por su tiempo leyendo mi blog. Espero que encuentres algo interesante. Además, a aquellos que están aprendiendo otro idioma, nunca perder la esperanza! Pronto seremos fluidos.
Truly, there is fun in languages.
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