#this one is a matter of personal taste but I ABSOLUTELY LOVED the plot twist

[furaill]

Memento Mori

#tw blood #my art #spoilers #if you know what to look for #but still tagging it as spoilers #dead apple #bsd shibusawa #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #so i watched the movie 2 days ago :) #fun and nice to look at #this one is a matter of personal taste but I ABSOLUTELY LOVED the plot twist #tw caps #also i had a bit of a hard time figuring out the hands' potitions #*position #at first they were both supposed to be like the right one and raised higher #but the hand on the left then hid the *most important* part of the drawing so i has to change it #also higher arms ment some perspective (bigger hand and skull) and it didn't look as I wanted it to #oh wait I could have just put the elbows a little more in the back #oh #huh #oops haha

[tiyoin]

I see your anxious reader and raise you this. Depressed, anxious, ADHD, mild autistic reader. :)))) my life is a living hell! :))))))))) *shakes and stemming violently*

🫵 YOU

you get it.

i don’t have autism (i think, gotta get that checked, but it’s highly suspected that i have audhd -from my lovely therapist🫶) so i don’t want to misrepresent it or offend anyone. but you’re literally the strongest soldier out there. like im struggling with just the 3 and my life is already a hellscape.

but as someone with all of the top 3 let me tell you- they were HUGE influences on how twisted anxiety reader acts.

is reader going to have a special fixation? yes! but will it be on an object… possibly no, but IT’S GONNA BE ON PEOPLE.

they’ve already considered grim a ‘safe person cat’ and subconsciously think of him as an emotional support animal (like i did with my late dog) so you can expect more of grim and reader!!

Is reader gonna self destruct as soon as they feel like experienced ‘rejection?’ ABSOLUTELY, they’ll pull away at the slightest chance their vulnerability was seen as ‘too much’ or if the person got uncomfortable

and obviously by the title reader is socially anxious. but because of recent events i’ve found a deeper level of experiences with it and reader is about to hit a new plight of events!!

but imagining reader with the 4 horsemen of the mental illness (that’s what i call them cause everytime i got diagnosed w smthn i swore i heard the trumpets of death) their life would be sooo much harder. just because there’s so many contradictions between them.

reader needs a schedule to feel organized but they can’t keep to the schedule because all their dopamine went into creating said schedule. and they’re procrastinating.

reader wants to talk to someone but they just realized eye contact is too much for them. but they were taught to look at people when talking or it’s rude so they’re just 👁️👁️ staring

reader had a surge of energy, of dopamine and they were out-going, friendly, talkative- everything was going right, but then the next day they’re hit with a huge slump. ofc reader is in despair because see they can do better, be better!

and it frustrates them to no end.

reader at the monstro cringing at the food they were given. you bet it tastes amazing! but the side dish is looking at you weird, and it’s touching the main dish… no! it’s not a problem, not at all! but… there’s an uncomfortable feeling you’re experiencing, and you do everything in your power not to be rude.

ofc reader gets embarrassed by this. they’re acting like they’re 5!! but… the food is contaminated and you can’t eat it ‘pure’ anymore. and don’t get the reader started on the texture of the veggies, it makes them shudder. like it’s good! but there’s smthn about it.

reader who notices everything but forces themselves to have tunnel vision because everything is just too much.

i’m taking this one after myself, but when reader is nervous they have a sign. ofc rook was able to decipher it in a split second, but they’ll always scratch their nose or rub their hands together like they’re plotting smthn

yeah, plotting of to escape!

reader who wants to fit in soo badly, but no matter what they do they always feel like an odd ball. but when they hang out with the odd balls they still don’t fell, quite right. reader is gonna experience a constant limbo of ‘where do i belong? why can’t i fit in anywhere?’.

HAHAHAHA READER BEING ABLE TO REMEMBER THINGS TO THE SLIGHTEST DETAIL WHEN THEY WANT TO BUT ASK THEM TO REMEMBER SMTHN IMPORTANT N THEY GO BLANK

but don’t worry anon, our lovely twisted anxiety reader is gonna go through it 🙈

#tiyoin’s cuties 。 ඞ 。 #twisted anxiety 🌀 #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader

[outro-jo]

when you watch the next episode without svt

pairing: svt x reader

type: reaction

warnings: none really, grumpy boys, emotionally manipulative jeonghan 🙄

request: not really but my friend gave me the idea

a/n: please read info before requesting 🩵

masterlist | info

———————————

scoups- he had been looking forward to this for days. it got him through long practices and times when the boys were bugging him. when he needed to go to a happy place he would just think about being cuddled up to you and finally finding out what happens to your beloved protagonist. the second the spoiler left your lips his heart sank and his lips poked out in a pout. “wait, you watched it without me?” he of course sat through it with you but he pouted the entire time.

jeonghan- he knew you did but that wasn’t gonna stop him from making you feel terrible about it. “babe! are you serious! i was looking forward to finding out what happens with you! i’ve been waiting all week.” it was absolutely a lie. as soon as he saw the little red bar across the episode thumbnail, he knew exactly what you had done and immediately watched the episode.  he wasn’t about to let you know that now, not when you were making his favorite dinner and then sat down to cuddle him while watching the episode. you kept giving little kisses of apology… until he spoiled the episode himself. “oops?”

joshua- he honestly doesn’t care. our unbothered king only really waits because you care about it so much but he knows with his schedule and how impatient you are that he may not always get to watch episodes with you. he’ll tease you a little about your impatience but at the end of the day he just loves spending time with you so he watches it with you anyways.

jun- he’s not mad… just disappointed. one of his favorite things about watching shows with you is seeing your reactions because you’re so expressive. sometimes you immerse yourself so much in shows that you’ll take things personally and he finds it adorable. now he doesn’t get to see your reaction to probably one of the best moments in the season. it’s nothing that some cuddles can’t fix though. 

hoshi- our tiger is OFFENDED. you spent the entire season reminding him not to watch episodes without you, you’d send texts and scold him, only to not even listen yourself. it doesn’t matter how many times you apologize, he still sits on the sofa with his arms crossed and his lips in a pout. he’ll talk about it even days later and it took a LOT of convincing to start a new show together again.

wonwoo- he honestly thinks it’s funny. it’s amusing to him that you’re so impatient that you can’t wait and he’s still just excited to see what happens even if you already know. he loves the way you can hardly contain yourself with the big plot twist and loves the way you glance over at him to see how he’s going to react. 

woozi- annoyed. he knew it would be a while before you could see the big finale of your show with his work schedule but you promised him. he also knows how upset you’d be if he did the same to you and honestly he just wants the same kind of respect. 

dk- ooohhh he’s pretty irritated but our sunshine isn’t one to be too confrontational so he keeps it to himself. he gives you a warm smile and tells you it’s ok but man, is he side eyeing you HARD while he’s watching. 

mingyu- mingyu is PISSED. he can’t believe you’d watch it without him after you two had invested so much in the season. you knew how much this show meant to him and how much he loves watching it with you and you just couldn’t help yourself. but with some aegyo apologies and lots of kisses, he’ll learn to forgive you. 

the8- to be honest, you and minghao have VERY different tastes in shows so when you finally found one you could agree on it was nothing short of a miracle. when the final episode came out he told you it might be a few days before he could come watch it with you and you were disappointed but you understood. minghao wasn’t so upset that you watched it without him, it was more that you didn’t say anything when you did and pretended like you hadn’t seen it. it kinda felt like you were lying to him and he HATES lying. once the two of you talked it out though you were all good.

seungkwan- he made a BIIIGGG deal about it. he was ranting and raving for a good thirty minutes and you just let him. it was your fault after all but once he got it out of his system, he sat down and watched it with you. he also side eyed you for a while but once it got to the good stuff he was so shocked you two feel right back into your usual dynamics. you still had to make it up to him somehow though.

vernon- another unbothered king. he was watching this show mostly for you and knew you probably couldn’t wait anyways so he almost expected it. he chuckled a little and asked if it was good but you refused to spoil anything for him. he agreed that it was good but he’s so lowkey, he never really gives you any sort of crazy reaction. your reliable vernon. 

dino- another one who was disappointed but he’s so in love with you it doesn’t really matter what you do. you can do no wrong in his eyes. while he was a little sad, he still sat down with you and enjoyed the show. he also enjoyed the kisses to make up for your mistake. 

#kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop fic #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #seventeen #svt #seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #seventeen imagines #seventeen imagine #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #scoups #jeonghan #joshua hong #junhui #hoshi #wonwoo #woozi #dk #mingyu #the8 #seungkwan #vernon #dino seventeen

[dearbraus]

my thoughts on the aot finale down below. don't click if you dont want to be spoiled!

this was a beautifully harrowing finale. the animation and the cinematography was astounding. truly i was blown away. mappa truly outdid themselves with some of the sequences and absolutely nailed isayama's usage of shifting appearances depending on whos perspective we were seeing and how eren's personhood and identity matched the eren we meet in s1 and not the eren we meet in s4 (will elaborate further down). the music and voice acting were superb. the agony in their voices sent chills down my spine and armin's harrowed screams as he sees eren's decapitated head will forever haunt me.

now onto the actual plot. I loved the original scenes that were incorporated (that line up with the volume 35 cover imo). i think it was far more cohesive to show levi, gabi, falco, yelena, and onyankopon with the newly created encampments, planting trees, and helping rebuild the world beyond paradis. in my opinion it did not make sense to jump so far ahead to where the cities were rebuilt and it was frankly too idealistic when the scene before that was the peace ambassadors discussing the state of paradis. additionally, i really enjoyed seeing historia's life and more of post-war paradis. it is heartbreaking to see how lifeless she is as queen though it makes sense considering she has no real power and is a pawn. seeing her and her daughter together was sweet and i'm glad she at least has the farm and a family to go home to.

i know seeing hitch yawn during the yeagerists rally was meant to be comedic but it is really sort of sad if you think about it. she clearly has no interest in the new military but has stuck with them for her own personal safety. seeing sasha's family and niccolo give dirty looks was golden and perfectly surmises the hypocrisy of the new military. sasha's family lost sasha, they knew of pain and hardship, they knew all that sasha sacrificed as a scout and now paradis is being led by a group of bozos who have never actually engaged in combat? yeah they deserved more than dirty looks. it's actually very sweet though that niccolo stayed with them, whilst i don't like the ship, i think its a very beautiful display of found family.

whew okay. now ... the plot. i wish we could have seen the others (reiner, jean, connie, annie, levi (?)) speak with eren in paths. that disappointed me. i know it isn't as relevant as mikasa and armin with eren in paths however i feel there is so much missing and seeing what he said to them could have filled in those blanks. paradoxically, i am glad we didn't see anything more since fans are still confused and disappointed in eren's death even though i felt his speech with armin made it very clear. it was ymir the founder's will to do the rumbling, it was her twisted bastardization of freedom that forced eren to do what he did because she was attached to him and mikasa. this perversion of freedom took away eren's choice because he was bound by destiny no matter what he did, so he blames himself due to the anger he felt for marley (and the rest of the worlds) hatred for paradis, eldia, and eldian's. armin takes partial ownership of eren's mistake because of their share childhood dreams, he gave eren his first taste of freedom, showed him a world beyond the walls with no violence, and no one else so ergo, the disappointment he felt was due to armin. and while the semantics do not matter when it was ymir the founder who caused the rumbling, this moment was meant to show how deep eren and armin's love for one another goes. they will be together, always, even if that means meeting each other again in hell. they have done everything together, they have shaped each other since childhood, idea's and beliefs don't exist in a vacuum and if that means armin blaming himself too so that eren can rest peacefully, then he'll do it.

i think a lot of people don't realize at the end of the day eren was powerless to ymir's will. and that is the point of the show. you cannot fight destiny, and you cannot have want you want (eren wants to be free, live, and be with mikasa//he dies an unwilling soldier to ymir's will.) (mikasa wants a life with eren//he dies before they could truly ever begin something) (ymir wanted to build a real life with historia but she sacrificed herself because she was living on borrowed time anyway).

speaking of ymir. i love the parallels to armin that we see. they both recognize that they have stolen someone else's life and power. ymir didn't feel the guilt until she realized there were things worth living for and that marcel had so much to live for. armin, however, spends five years filled with such guilt over stealing bertholdt's live, power, memories, wants, desires etc. i thought this was interesting. i think the idea of living on borrowed time is also why eren was willing to sacrifice himself in spite of how badly he wanted to live. he didn't want anyone to be burdened with living on borrowed time (realizing this after he saved armin, however, he'd save armin over and over again because he loves him).

i became very emotional seeing connie and jean wrap their arms around one another as they become titans and then connie joking one last time saying, "it was all your fault jean we joined because of you" knowing that his drive would have always led him to the scouts anyway. i also loved that they kept reaffirming their identity as scouts, it was very heartfilled and shows that their beliefs will never die even after the regiment collapses. erwin and hange's wishes will never die because they will keep living and fighting to fulfil them (arguably they did fulfil them by killing eren and eradicating the titans however, its sort of unspoken that there was so much more to do but the torch needed to be passed for armin for that to happen). now onto their clothing. eren grows his hair out in s4 and begins to look a lot like his father. he used to have his mother's eye shape and in spite of having his fathers colouring, he was carla's son. he was never grisha's son, that was her boy not his. but as he aged he turned into his father. symbolically i would say its because he mirrored his fathers previous desires to rise against marley however i do think this change is occurred because eren didn't recognize himself. when he appears to mikasa in the cabin, his hair his short, his eyes are softer, and he's wearing the same kind of clothing he used to. he became himself once more, he became the person they both knew. mikasa wears the clothing she wore as a child and continued to wear even after eren died. i think this was done to symbolize that they will always be connected to one another because their are parts of them that will always belong to one another. later we see eren and armin as children again, they talk for a while and grow up together. this image is a strong one. i think it was done to remind the audience and armin that the eren he grew up with was still there, he just had to hide himself literally and figuratively. armin says he can't believe eren would say something so pathetic and it takes him a moment to remind himself that eren hasn't changed, he is still the idiot hot head he loved so dearly. and while they've both changed, and cannot go back to the boys they once were, those boys will always exist inside of them. and that is beautiful :( also! the fight against the titans ymir was controlling! i think that reaffirms that how the eldian's in a way are slaves to ymir's will. their titans and likeness are being manipulated to fight by ymir the founder while they exist in paths watching it happen and being unable to stop it. she makes them complicit in her crimes until zeke uses his royal blood to stop it. its a very interesting dynamic that i still need to think on. while i don't blame ymir for acting out it is very gut wrenching. all she knows is violence despite craving connection (hence how all eldian's are connected in paths). it was very touching seeing ymir, porco, marcel, eren kruger, grisha, and bertoldt fight alongside the scouts. pieck crying because poroco was fighting alongside her, god my heart melted. she hardly got to mourn him before having to fight against his likeness, feeling betrayed even though it wasn't him. in a way it was one last act of freedom.

oh ... and levi's face when he finally killed zeke. he spent five years waiting to avenge erwin, spent five years having to play nice, his body was torn apart because of zeke. finally killing zeke didn't make levi feel better, he knew it wasn't going to bring erwin back but it could have felt satisfying but it wasn't. it was sad, and unfulfilling not because zeke allowed it to happen but because senseless violence will never make grief go away.

overall i think while this was a very gut wrenching end, it was beautiful and there will always be something new to discuss about this show. i will never stop talking about how truly amazing aot is!!!! but i wish i could rewatch it again for the first time and have that same feeling of wonderment all over again.

#fawn talks meta #this is incoherent im sorry #needed to get all the worms outta my head !!! #aot spoilers

[skippydiesposting]

Cam u give us some recs of Weird And Good Stuff? 👀

absolutely I can! I've been sitting on this ask for a few days because I wanted to give it the attention that it deserves and it's got me thinking a lot about the things that I personally consider "Good" and/or "Weird" stuff.

this is especially interesting to think about as someone who has Very Specific media tastes and did not exactly grow up exposed to the most mainstream stuff: I was raised by 90s hipsters, homeschooled, then went to an alternative school, and have only lived in one city/only worked at one institution my whole life--all of these were/have been great experiences for me, however I understand that this means I do not exactly have the best idea of what constitutes mainstream or popular media. I definitely have the tendency to lean towards pretentiousness/snobbery (as I have been told), in part because it seems to me that, by definition, the things that are part of the mainstream have less depth and heart to them than the obscure things; the things I have fallen in love with, by and large, are the obscure things. I have been confounded my whole life by the experience of coming across beautiful, meaningful works of art and then being baffled when nobody else is talking about them, as well as the mirrored experience of being exposed to the mainstream and being completely unable to understand what people are getting out of it. (are obscure and weird the same thing? something else to think about.)

that being said, I don't think any of these things are the Weirdest it gets. but they are certainly things beyond the general public "mainstream" consciousness, and they are defintely things that I think deserve more recognition as great works of art. just keep in mind I am aware that it does get a lot weirder and more obscure than this.

also, of course it's easiest to give recommendations if I already know the taste of the person I am recommending things to, so all of this will depend on your own personal taste, especially where music and books are concerned. but regardless, here are a bunch of my favorite Weird/Good things:

books:

-if you know me or have been following me at all, you already know about this but I'm gonna have to plug Skippy Dies. most perfectly constructed/researched/executed/painful book of all time. I will recommend it until my dying breath. this is one of those things that seems so exemplary of the genre that I absolutely cannot believe is not more well-known. however, I did also just read Paul Murray's third novel, the Mark and the Void, and that's something I can absolutely recommend as well. I think it's weirder than Skippy Dies, at least in that it heavily revolves around the metafictional and recursive idea that the author, Paul, has created a fictionalized version of himself as a character in the story who is himself trying to write the book that eventually will become the book itself. it's incredibly funny and smart and bizarre. also you will learn a lot about investment banking.

-I also must recommend the book that I was obsessed with before Skippy Dies, and though it wasn't to the same extent, it's still a wonderful novel that more people should read: Everything Matters! by Ron Currie Jr. it's similar in theme/message to Skippy Dies but much shorter and less complex. (the cover illustration was my first tattoo. I still love it, I just love Skippy Dies more. this book feels like my amicably divorced spouse.)

-Daniel Handler is well-known under his pen name Lemony Snicket as the author of the Series of Unfortunate Events, but his adult novels under his real name are fantastic, especially The Basic Eight. it's a kind of a satire of 90s true-crime tell-alls: think Heathers but self-referential and about snobby teenagers who are obsessed with poetry and theater. fantastic book. one of the best plot twists of all time. I also liked his book Watch Your Mouth: super weird story about incest and Jewish mysticism kind of told through the narrative of an opera.

-Steve Erickson is one of my favorite authors overall, and surprisingly few people know about him. his novels often have an element of surreal realism/magical realism, but it doesn't play too much into the plot; weird things are mentioned offhand and then not really treated as weird. there's a fair amount of historical fiction, and it's also common for his plot threads/characters to show up in multiple novels; he even does the metafictional thing of sometimes having himself appear as a character. my favorites of his are probably These Dreams of You and the Sea Came in at Midnight. But they're all lovely and most are interconnected in some way.

-Nancy Huston is another one of my favorite authors who people don't know about, though she seems to have more traction in Canada. I love her writing style and her stories are very character-focused, often about darkly intimate relationships and tensions between parents and children. these might be harder to find, but my favories are Instruments of Darkness and Slow Emergencies.

-Tom Robbins is fairly well-known, but if you haven't read him I highly recommend it. there's no one in the world writing like Tom Robbins; he's an excellent satirist without leaning into the cynical, and his novels are bizarre and hilarious while also seemingly to impart some kind of deep truths about humanity. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is a classic, but they're all wonderful. I particularly liked Still Life With Woodpecker.

-George Saunders is also fairly well-known these days, but he's an excellent excellent writer. Weird funny true sometimes-satire. I recommend his short story collection Tenth of December.

-very well known but Geek Love (Katherine Dunn) is a masterpiece of the weird and disturbing. everything that AHS:Freakshow could have been.

-I really enjoyed Ben Lerner's recent book the Topeka School; like many things on this list, it's metafiction/autofiction, very strongly based on his life but through a fictionalized lens. it's a beautifully structured book, and you'll learn a lot about debate club and poetry.

-Jenny Offill's books Department of Speculation and Weather are both delicious little nuggets of insightful and concise observations. super short and super beautiful. they'll make you want to write more.

-Jamie Iredell wrote a small press book in the past couple years called The Fat Kid. I adored it. disturbing and surreal look into the ways that men destroy each other; an exploration of toxic masculinity without misogyny. highly reccomend.

-another gorgeous small press book: memoir called What About the Rest of Your Life by Sung Yim

-Amelia Gray writes wonderfully strange short stories. I love her collections Gutshot and AM/PM.

-Nell Zink is another recent author who I always jump at the chance to read. similar to Steve Erickson, her books always feel like a strange mix of surreal and realistic. I really liked Mislaid and Doxology.

-Maggie Nelson wrote a book called Bluets that I love, a meditation on being in love with the color blue. she also wrote the somewhat-more-well-known book the Argonauts, which is part memoir part queer theory. very good.

-Leni Zumas is one of the best weird authors around. her stories are always very visceral and surreal. all her stuff is good: her short story collection is Farewell Navigator, and her novels are The Listeners and Red Clocks

-Carmen Maria Machado has also gained some traction in the last couple years, and deserves it. she's an excellent horror writer; an expert at making normal things feel unsettling and threatening. she has a short story collection, Her Body and Other Parties, as well as a memoir, In the Dream House, which is about her experience being trapped in an abusive queer relationship. it's so fucking good.

(pro tip: get an epub reader on your phone. libgen.is your friend.)

music:

-They Might Be Giants have been good and weird since the 80s, and continue to be just as good and just as weird. they have a massive discography, so if you're unfamiliar with them, start with the album Flood. or just start from the beginning. it's literally all good.

-most of these fall into post-punk/indie rock; some of my favorite lesser known bands in this category include Mighty, Weatherbox, Krill, Hop Along, and Shoe

https://youtu.be/S1ZBkmA-kS4

https://youtu.be/iH7WqUBVRDs

https://youtu.be/iX3dItyNnyA

-Pile is a post-punk/post-hardcore band that never gets enough love. genius writing, beautiful riffs, some of the best screaming around. another one of my tattoos.

https://youtu.be/XSJ6xdhClVU

-Fat History Month is delightful and lo-fi, if that's your thing: https://youtu.be/RtsAP0fdOXE

-not particularly weird per se, but not enough people know about Sir Chloe. their new album is flawless. it's just good music.

https://youtu.be/3x554vRA9Ic

-Man Man is delightfully catchy and weird:

-the co-creator of one of my favorite shows (Venture Bros) is now the guitarist in a band called Pageant Girls, and their first album is great. minor-key 80s synth ballad rock.

https://youtu.be/Zd9H_9BXsYA

-WHY? is hard to describe--experimental indie alternative hip hop?--but it's definitely weird. start with the album Alopecia.

https://youtu.be/acJ3hiRxWUk

-mewithoutYou is another of my favorites; strange tempos and spoken-word vocals and excellent screaming. probably the best band ever to see live. every album is good, but probably start with Ten Stories

movies and tv:

-most of my favorite movies are indie slice-of-life dramas about someone slowly having a mental breakdown. Magnolia is the epitome of this. also: most surprising twist in a movie you will ever see.

-all of Charlie Kaufman's movies are fucking weird. Synecdoche New York, Being John Malkovich, and Adaptation are among the weirdest.

-well-known, but stil weird and good: Donnie Darko

-my favorite lesser-known filmmaker is Mike Mills. his movies are Thumbsucker, Beginners, and 20th Century Women (i think he has a newer one as well) and all are excellent if you like slow, poignant indie dramas as much as I do

-a pair of Amazon shows that I don't think get enough attention: I Love Dick and Patriot.

-Venture Bros is the best animated television show of all time, and not enough people know about it. you gotta stick through the first couple seasons but I promise it's worth it.

-Fargo (the show, not the movie) isn't really obscure but it is really good. every season is a different set of characters and set in a different time period, but they're all interconnected. mostly centered on organized crime and the interpersonal shenanigans that come with that. it really seems like tumblr would be more into this show. season 2 and season 4 are the best ones, but you can watch any of them in any order.

podcasts:

I could recommend podcasts literally all day but here are some of the weirdest ones:

-Love + Radio: interviews with some of the most interesting, strange and controversial subjects. the editing is also wonderfully bizarre. I recommend the episode

-Appearances is another one of those things which is a semi-fictionalized retelling. it's about a woman trying to find the right partner to have a baby with while also dredging through the family drama of her past. beautiful and emotional.

-the Memory Palace: short vignettes about history. will make you feel serene and deeply connected to your fellow humans

-the Ballad of Billy Balls: part memoir, part mystery(that actually has a satisfying conclusion!) iO Tillet Wright tries to find the body of his mom's first love who was murdered by the police. incredibly touching and wonderfully produced.

-all of Jamie Loftus' podcasts: My Year in Mensa, Aack Cast, Lolita Podcast, Ghost Church. (she also had a book come out recently, Raw Dog, which I haven't read yet but looks amazing)

video essay(ists):

-along with the more well-known video essayists like Contrapoints and Defunctland, I also gotta shout out CJ the X, who makes excellently researched and chaotic videos about a variety of topics. one of my favorites: https://youtu.be/JuKbDpPAooE

unfortunately I'm not a huge video gamer--I mostly just play pokemon ROM hacks on my phone, which I guess is weird--so I don't have many recommendations on that front. (but also everyone should play Wingspan.)

however, Twine is a wonderful (free!) program you can use to make html games and I know that itch.io hosts a lot of them. so if you're interesting in making games, definitely play around with that.

well. this is way long and maybe I should have made it into a few separate posts. let me know if you have trouble accessing any of this stuff. and tell me if you check any of it out! I want to talk about all of it! and thanks for sending this ask, I love to write about all the weird brilliant things that I like :)

#🌹 #recommendations #book recs #music recs #movie recs

[bixxelated]

finally finished watching str*nger th*ngs s4 so im just gonna put my thoughts under a readmore bc i Have... A Lot And I Need To Get Them Out (also needless to say, dont click unless you want spoilers for the whole season)

overall i came in with low expectations and still felt that a lot of things were pretty underwhelming. most of what i like from previous seasons wasnt included in this one or was pretty badly written. this was a very plot-driven 1st half of a season and they pulled off some good things but there was so little emotional material available which frustrated me the most. JKSHFLKDJGLG i hate being such a downer bc i did have fun watching! theres just a lot of stuff specific to my tastes that i feel werent developed well

ANYWAY, to be more specific

--MAX MAYFIELD MY BELOVED

--Max was AMAZING this season and i love her so much

--all things being said, im amazed that they were make such a solid story with multiple plotlines given how LONG this whole thing was. i expected a lot of bullshit twists being pulled to keep things interesting but i didnt see much of that. do i like the direction they went in with a lot of things? not really, but i admire that they were somewhat able to keep it cohesive --hawkins plot was the best plot. i like the concept of 'teens with a haunted past' being targeted and of the town turning against the hellfire club. its an interesting change in dynamics for once to see other people get involved in the strange happenings, although i dont really like how theyre making the upside down this single hellscape entity bent on the destruction of hawkins instead of some alternate doomhorror dimension minding its own business unless you accidentally stumble into it/let it seep into your own world. idk i like the ambiguity of antagonists driven mostly by instinct, like the demogorgon in s1 and the mind flayer in s2

--on the other hand the california/russia plotlines just seemed so... pointless? like there was so little explored about the byers (not-)adapting to a new town before everything was launched into motion. which i get for pacing reasons but leaves very little for like. exploring the emotional aspects of it. hated will being absolutely completely invisible in the new town. hated seeing el being forced to team up with her literal abuser to get her powers back and it being presented as a choice. and i feel for hopp but the prison plotline was just... boring to me JFKHDLJKHFLKD idk how else to explain it. like we know that hoppers sad and angry and misses joyce and el, there just wasnt much room for much else character development in his arc, like something something he lets his anger get the best of him when hes scared and doesnt know how to cope with it in a healthy matter something something

--it would have been so nice to see El and Will being forced to interact more closely for once but somehow despite being Literal Siblings now the writers still somehow managed to get them to nope over each other like same sided magnets, save for a few single lines at the beginning of the season. i do appreciate those few little moments of will trying to watch out for el sometimes but wish that there had been some reciprocation at some point

--they really did my boy Will so dirty reducing him to a single character personality point again: Pining

--Michael Wheeler Didn't We Go Through This Same Exact Plotline Last Season. Why Are You Excluding Your Best Friend In Place Of Your Girlfriend Again

--a single verbal apology doesnt really do it for me also. it doesnt ever feel like will and mike made up bc theres no ACTIONS to make up for it! Pls just give me some kindhearted gestures, some consideration, some platonic affection...!

--ARGYLE MY BELOVED. Argyle was great tho. god knows jonathan deserves having someone to destress with

--my god why is it that the only way the writers can make relationships interesting is threatning to have them break up. max and lucas make sense but is the nancy/steve teasing really necessary? you're really gonna have her move on like that without even talking to jonathan first?

--and jonathan's plotline about feeling obligated to throw away his future to care for is so good! wish they'd explored more of it in the plot itself

--on the breakup note: really didnt enjoy the argument mike had with eleven just because so much of it felt... manipulative? not in an intentional way but i dont think that was handled well at all on either side. but i mean, i really dont blame mike for being upset about the rollerskating incident and then for everyone to try and pretend it didnt happen. and eleven being like, you're scared of me so you dont love me anymore. OOF! idk it just gave me a lot of vibes about insecure ppl in relationships who do bad things and then use their upset feelings as a justification without properly apologizing for it

--LUCAS MY BELOVED

--my poor boy lucas was just trying to have a normal life and get a better reputation for both him and his friends jdkhflkadhjfkl he didnt ask for everyone to suddenly go unhinged around him. im love him so much

--ROBIN MY BELOVED

--robin was so good this season. i love her and her motor mouth and im cackling so much because i KNEW that awful outfit was a disguise! nancy honey why the fuck do you have that monstrosity in your closet? i know you can do better

--also really adore robin slowly inching her way into nancy's heart as a friend. nancy needs more female friends. And also how dare vecna use barb's death against nancy (gleeful). im wondering how theyll handle pulling her out of the trance considering i dont think anyone knows nancy's favorite song (and even if they manage to contact mike or her parents id be surprised if any of them would know it as well)

--the running up that hill scene? iconic. amazing. outstanding. i cried, oh my god i love max mayfield so much

--i do love that even though a big part of max's grief involves guilt for billy's death, they acknowledge that he was not a nice person and and that his relationship with max was complicated, and that some part of her is even relieved at not having to deal with that anymore.

--the One/Henry Creel reveal twist at the end was neat but i still dont get what this fucker's deal is? from what i understand This Man Just Wants To Be A Murderous Bastard. sure everyone assumes hes working for the mind flayer but we never saw it outside of flashbacks this season

--Speaking Of Which, Why Are There So Many Flashbacks To Previous Seasons. i mean i know the duffer brothers love their flashbacks but i promise you we remember what happened before duffers

#tp #blogger comments #long post // #// #/// #//// #blogger watches stranger things #st4 spoilers #don/t rebl/og pls

[1kook]

viki & hickeys

the 8th installment to netflix & chill :~)

SUMMARY Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.  WARNINGS a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries MISC there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide  RATING m (18+) WC 16.3k !!!! ik its fckin LOOOONG

NOTES (!) in true Viki fashion, here’s an nc fic where there’s like 3 different plot lines n a hot male antagonist <3 this series started off as just me wanting to write smut n it still is! now i just like to infuse different levels of angst into it as well </3 as always, lemme know what u think!! i proofread it twice but one of those times had been at 4 am so if u see a typo no u didn't. also here’s a gif  of jungkook crying during a dolly parton performances and here’s another gif of jungkook crying bc it’s scary how pretty he looks

Being evil and hot does not come for free. As you’ve long since learned in the past twenty-three years of your life, you truly can’t have it all. 

There is always some deliberating character flaw the universe must bestow upon you in order to level you out, make you fall onto the same plane as all the other mortals. Everyone has one, no matter how small or insignificant. Doyeon’s is that she doesn’t know how to work a straightening iron. Namjoon's is that he can’t tell the difference between water and liquor. Jungkook, despite all his tech-y nerdiness, doesn’t know how to do his own taxes. And yours? You don’t know shit about romcoms. 

Your knowledge on the romantic genre is what leads to this predicament now, the ring on your finger heavy as Doyeon regards you with what is perhaps the most unimpressed look known to mankind. “This is a promise ring,” she says bluntly, the bustling sounds of the coffee shop around you the soundtrack to your sudden realization. 

“No,” you deny, even though you know she’s right. “It’s an engagement ring.”

Doyeon rolls her eyes. “Babe,” she starts slowly, talks to you like you’re a dorky high schooler with her first boyfriend, “did he ask you to marry him?”

The truth is, the timing had been weird. It had been a few days after you’d rocked Jungkook’s world so you understand if he felt the sudden need to pop the question. But you were also sick as fuck that day, had only vaguely remembered the events because you were too busy with the snot up your nose and the raging fever you were battling. Had Jungkook asked you to marry him? 

You’re not so sure. 

It’s been a little over a month since then, and sure his lack of proactive wedding planning was a little weird, but you had always assumed Jungkook was one of those people who liked long engagements. Liked to drag out the last few months as a bachelor. Maybe he was waiting until you were both financially stable or something, who knows. 

Doyeon had been on some soul-searching journey around the country, so she hadn't been home for a while, had only heard of the ring through a two-second snapchat. This is the first time she’s seeing you and it in person; you can tell by the expression on her face that she’s rightfully disappointed. 

“Have you no shame, woman?” she tuts, arms crossed over her chest. “You have me parading around the world bragging about your engagement— just for this?”

You knock your forehead against the table, know it’s dirty and icky, but you deserve it. “Listen,” you huff. “I’ve only seen The Notebook, like, once.”

She scoffs. “I can tell. This is so embarrassing, don’t tell me you’ve brought it up to him?”

At her words you startle, nearly send the drinks flying across the floor. “No!” you shout, mindlessly reaching to twist the ring around your finger. It’s become a habit these past few weeks, a comfort to feel it around you. Granted, the feeling is a little muted now. “Of course he’d get me a promise ring,” you grumble, gaze flickering down to the silver band on your ring finger. “Jungkook loves all that cheesy corny stuff.” He really did. 

You’ve had enough of Doyeon’s disappointment, decide this coffee date has brought you enough three am anxiety material for the next year and a half. You conclude your date by taking a walk around town, arms locked together as you laugh at people who pass by because you’re both a little mean. 

“Maybe it’s for the best,” she says, and you agree. Well, a promise ring certainly meant something. It was, essentially, a pre-engagement ring. And the engagement ring that followed was a pre-wedding ring. And a wedding ring was, well, a wedding ring. Your heartbeat thunders at the thought. “You’re busy right now anyway,” she points out, snapping you out of your bumbling thoughts. “Aren’t you getting promoted at work soon?” 

Oh, you certainly were getting promoted at work. After many grueling months of hard work and dedication, the fruits of your labor were finally being recognized. Gone were the days of useless desk work, intern-like errands that barely required the use of any higher-order brain functions. You had worked hard these past few months, proved your worth over and over again, until you were here. Getting promoted into a new branch at your company— one where your talents were actually needed. And truth be told, there was one man to thank for that. 

Your friend and superior, Kim Seokjin. 

Seokjin is a great boss. In fact, you could argue he’s the best in the entire world and that, if it wasn’t for him, you would have quit this job that first month you started. But you had him to push you along, friendly smiles and encouragements that kept you going until this point, where you’re being promoted up into a branch where your degree finally matters. And it was all thanks to him! What Kim Namjoon was to Jungkook, Kim Seokjin was to you. 

So what if he cheated on his wife and flirted with the secretaries— Seokjin was practically a god in your eyes. 

And what Seokjin did in his free time was frankly none of your business anyway. You were colleagues at work, got along fairly well, but outside of work you were practically strangers. He was your beloved work colleague, someone Jungkook teased you about endlessly despite never having met him, and you were immensely thankful for him. “Should I be scared he’ll steal you from me?” Jungkook had joked one night, standing behind you as you scrolled through your company profile page. “He is a little handsome.”

You had pinched his side, smiling at his feigned concern when he pressed his lips to your temple. “You’re right,” you had joked back, “he is sooo cool.” And Jungkook had bitten you on the shoulder, laughed that pretty laugh when you yelped in surprise. 

Anyway, Kim Seokjin was a god, Jungkook was on his way to maybe, hopefully, one day, being your husband, and all was well. 

To honor this moment in time, you decide to swing by Jungkook’s place after your date with Doyeon, finding him lazily sprawled across his living room couch while What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim? plays on the Jumbotron. He’s in between projects right now, so he’s spent most of his time relaxing and catching up on all his favorite shows. 

Which brings you back to that deliberating character flaw of yours: no knowledge of the romantic genre to utilize in your everyday life. Your love language has always been blunt words, teasing jabs, the raw and unfiltered type of love. Emotions? Impossible to figure out. You’ve gotten pretty far in life reading verbal and physical cues; with Jungkook, you always know he’s upset when he does the little tongue-against-cheek thing, and it has saved you from many potential arguments. 

On the other hand, it is so obvious what Jungkook’s love language is when he spends fifty percent of his time on Viki, home to some of the most cheesy kdramas in existence. Most guys spend their weekends watching sports or dramatic action movies, but here was Jungkook. Watching some guy try to court his secretary. 

(Okay, he does watch sports and action movies too, but that’s not the point!)

“Hello, sweet boy,” you greet, plopping down beside him. Jungkook smiles back softly. He’s serving absolute pre-pre-husband deliciousness right now, cute glasses, fluffy curls, plaid bottoms that make him look so comfy. God, you were going to suck his dick tonight. 

Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, tastes like the chocolate cake you specifically told him not to eat without you. He blindsides you before you can scold him, pulls you onto his lap where the swell of his cock nudges against your thigh. Oh, you were definitely going to suck his dick and ride him well into the sunrise. 

“What’s my pretty girl doing here tonight?” he asks, cutely looping his fingers through yours. “Thought you were with the Wicked Witch of the West today?”

You roll your eyes, reposition yourself in a laughable attempt at pretending like you’re actually interested in the show. “We just went out for lunch,” you explain, watching the hot lead saunter across the screen. Juicy ass, but nothing compared to Jungkook’s. 

There’s a question lingering on the tip of your tongue, Doyeon’s explanations mixed with your worries, and you hold it for exactly ten seconds before you’re turning to face him head on, eyes going a little crossed from how close he is. “Hey,” you say bluntly. “Is this a promise ring?” you ask, wiggle your finger in his face. 

Jungkook blinks, once, twice, and then his face shoots up in flames. “Maybe,” he mumbles, lips pursed as he tries to avoid your gaze. He was adorable. You laugh, endeared by the red flush that crawls over his cute little cheeks and up his ears. Unable to stop yourself, you squeeze said cheeks between your hands, cooing at the annoyed expression that consumes him soon afterwards.  

“Aw, you want to marry me,” you tease, but it’s secretly a leading question for him to confess that yes, he does want to marry you. For as hot and confident as you are, you too are plagued with doubts. Doubts that can only be smoothed over by hearing it straight from Jungkook’s mouth. 

He rolls his eyes, trying to break free from your hold. “We’ve talked about this,” he murmurs, all embarrassed. But like always, Jungkook knows exactly what you want so he doesn’t deny it, and that’s good enough for you. He’s too flustered to look you in the eye now, childishly craning his head away from you when you try to force him into a staring contest. “Can I finish my show?” he whines, slightly not as hard now that you’ve reduced him into a shy, bumbling mess. It was a nice change of pace from his usual, composed self. 

But you relent, sliding off his lap to sit against his side, classic octopus hug around his waist. The episode is in full swing, not that you know anything about it. Like you said, romantic shows and movies were the least of your concerns. Jungkook, however, eats this type of shit up. “He still trying to fuck her?” you ask, not the least bit interested, but if you’re planning on sucking his dick tonight you have to listen to a few minutes of him rambling first. 

Jungkook sighs. “Yeah,” he says, “I don’t get it.” You hum, trail your hand over his abdomen teasingly. He feels so warm and lean beneath your palm, you were getting hot just thinking about it. “Why would anyone agree to dating their boss?”

You know that Jungkook’s boss is some old Facebook fart, pioneer of something on the site that neither of you two care about. So it makes sense that such a notion disturbs him. You shrug anyway. “Everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss,” you offer. “It’s like, the power dynamic, I guess.”

His frown deepens. “Would you?” Your boss isn’t exactly an old fart; the reason Kim Seokjin was such a renowned playboy is because, well, he had the looks to pull it off. Still, he had become a sort of respectable figure to you and the idea of sleeping with him doesn’t really sound appealing as much as it would to any other random bachelorette, which you admittedly were not. You glance at the screen, where Park Seojoon swaggers around in those tight slacks and fitted button-ups. 

“Hm,” you ponder, “maybe.” 

Jungkook laughs. “You’re supposed to say no, you idiot,” he says, knocks his forehead against yours softly. You can’t help but chuckle too, enamored with the happy glint in his eyes and the way his smile eats up his features. 

Oh, you loved this man. 

Because he was so sweet and good on Christmas, you let Jungkook make the plans for Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s his favorite holiday (“Why? Well, because it’s a day all about you, and me, and us,” he had sighed dreamily in the bathtub one night, hair adorably pushed back to showcase that handsome face of his. Bubbles clung to his chest, had made you dizzy with every breath he took.), so it’s only right that he gets to make the itinerary for the day, fill it with all his favorite things. After all, cheesy romantic stuff like this was right up his lane. 

He reserves a spot at the fanciest restaurant in the city, the one that has a months long waiting list. It sounds perfect, and the closer it gets to February 13th, the more excited you become. You say 13th because the 14th is a Sunday, and as much as you would love to get on your knees and praise Jungkook’s body until the wee hours of the next day, you have work. So Sunday is off the table. And it’s better this way, you tell yourself. Everywhere would have been packed that day anyway. 

It seems like everywhere you go, the entire world is gearing up for the holiday; from the fast food drive-thru to your favorite lingerie shop, there’s Valentine’s Day specials everywhere you look. Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air. 

But what good is a lovey-dovey holiday without your own lovey dove himself? 

One glance out your window and your knees feel weak, because there he is. Dressed in a loose satin button up, shoulders broad, chest defined. He’s got on these fitted dress pants that accentuate his tiny waist too, thick thighs bulging beneath the fabric. There’s a coat hugging his frame, something to shield him from the cold while he waits out on the curb, does this cute little shivering dance in an attempt to warm up his muscles. Your heart feels like it’ll explode at the sight, and you can practically hear the corny, overused romantic song playing in the background of your thoughts, so you hurriedly distract yourself by slipping tonight’s dress on. 

It’s cold outside, but the sight of Jungkook makes you feel warm and fuzzy everywhere. He’s so hot it makes you dizzy, and the sap knows it when he meets you on the sidewalk. Instinctively, his hand reaches out to tangle with yours, the other slipping around your waist. “Hi, gorgeous,” he greets playfully, kissing your knuckles. His hair has grown out a little, curls up cutely when he lets it air dry and tickles your skin when he gets too close. “Lookin’ like Secretary Kim.” 

“Oh? So does that make you my hot boss?” you tease as you make your way to the car. 

As always, he opens the door for you first, flashes you this dorky little wink as he rounds the front of the car. “If it means you’ll sleep with me tonight, then sure,” he says, buckling himself in. You roll your eyes at his claim. You don’t get to see the proud little smile on his face; by the time you’ve composed yourself, he’s already pulling off in the direction of the restaurant. 

It’s a classy thing, a restaurant and bar in some insanely tall skyscraper. Of course your seats are right beside one of the huge floor to ceiling windows, overlooking the beautiful, glittering cityscape. “Fancy,” you murmur as you sit down, catching a glimpse of the eye roll Jungkook gives you. 

“You say that about any place that serves wine,” he chuckles, reaching for the bottle on the table to pour you a glass. 

The wine tastes like perfection, aged for the perfect amount of time. Whatever that was. You don’t really know, but it tastes amazing! Still, amazement aside, you manage a scoff. “I didn’t say that about your house on our first date,” you huff anyway, throwing him a playful glare over the rim of your glass. 

Jungkook laughs, full and real this time. It’s a little too loud for the classy establishment you find yourselves in, drowns out the jazz music for a second. “That’s because it was a house,” he says, wearing that big, shiny smile you adore, “and we were watching Transformers.” An amazing date, the mere memory of it makes your toes curl. He had been so dreamy— nearly two years ago now! —and had retained that aura up to the present day. You don’t think you’ve ever been so in love with anyone or anything in this world before, as cheesy as it was to admit. 

As if sensing your sudden wandering thoughts, Jungkook nudges your ankle under the table. “Hey,” he says so softly you could melt; his voice was so silky and sweet. “Everything okay?” he asks. 

A sigh, chin in your palm. You had to have been abducted by aliens or something— there was no way this was your life, this disgustingly romantic date with this disgustingly handsome man. An episode of Black Mirror maybe? One where you get forced to live in a romantic Viki drama with the man you love, every single day for the rest of your life? Maybe. 

Dramatics aside, you could practically feel that sticky sweet, sentimental monster begging to crawl to the surface, unleash the entire Shakespearean collection of lovesick sonnets on your unsuspecting boyfriend in the middle of this restaurant. But the weird ones, were you accidentally dedicate an entire six lines to the bulge of Jungkook’s thighs in his workout pants or the heart-shaped mole on his shoulder. Those kind. Before that can happen, you settle on an equally as gentle, “I love you,” murmured for only him to hear. 

Across the table, Jungkook smiles. One of those thin ones when he’s trying to keep his composure but is actually quite flustered, his subtle bunny teeth nibbling at his lower lip. “Thanks,” he responds, still trying to play it cool, but then he almost knocks his glass down and you’re reminded just how perfect he was, flaws and all. “Me too.”

You jab the pointed tip of your stiletto against his shin. “Say it back,” you warn and he laughs. 

“I love you,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Straight out of a romantic drama, like the ones on Viki that require a minimum of four different story arcs just to get to this point. But with Jungkook, it takes a few shy smiles and maybe a kiss. It has a scorching heat rising on your cheeks, one you ward away with a hurried sip of your drink while Jungkook reaches for your hand, thumb rubbing over your promise ring as if for good luck. 

That singular phrase makes your world pause, its axis stalling while you deal with the overwhelmingly soft and gooey feelings in your chest. Oh jeez, you had to rock his world tonight. It was only right. He deserved it for making you feel like this— this silly and ditzy, like a middle schooler with her crush. 

Anyway the food gets to your table after a millennia. Jungkook orders some fancy lobster dish, one that you're pretty sure costs more than the purse you brought along tonight (to be fair, you’re a cheap buyer), and still has the audacity to poke around at your plate too. He eats enough to feed a schoolhouse full of children who’ve just come off recess, practically devouring the table cloth before you stop him. And then he doesn’t let you see the bill; “baby, don’t worry about that when you’re with me,” he purrs, warm breath fanning against the skin on your neck, drunk off pure love and strawberry lemonade because he was driving tonight. The hostess is a blushing mess, fumbling for his change as Jungkook practically gropes your ass in plain sight.

You swear he’s spending too much time on that Viki streaming service, because then, as if the romantic dinner date wasn’t enough, he whisks you off to an even more romantic walk along the river. 

If there was ever a world record for “Number of Times you can Make your Girlfriend Swoon,” you’re positive Jungkook had broken it in the span of a few hours. You feel so light-headed and in love by the time you reach the river. 

“You know,” you tell him as you walk, the serene sounds of the flowing water beside you the soundtrack to your date. Jungkook swings your joined hands between the two of you. It’s chilly but you’re so full and happy that you don’t let it bother you. “I was gonna throw wine at you when we first met.”

He cackles, that loud, airy sound again that he only lets you hear, with his head thrown back. “What?” he gasps, smiley and pretty, your pretty boy. “And why were you going to do that?”

You huff, feeling slightly embarrassed now to admit such a thing. But aside from Doyeon, no one else has ever heard this classified tale. And well, you’re feeling extra emotional tonight. An abundance of emotions in one night usually ended with you crying like a little bitch at some point or another, so you’re trying to push that off for later. “Because,” you sigh, squeezing his fingers, your lone promise ring versus his assortment of fashionable rings. “You sounded like an absolute fuck boy when you first texted me!” 

Jungkook scoffs, playfully scandalized. “Me?” he squawks, pausing to stand in front of you with wide eyes and a ridiculously huge smile, the kind that has his brows raised high, lips going thin, practically displaying every tooth in his mouth from how wide it is. 

“Jungkook,” you say calmly, shoving one finger against his chest. “You asked me to Netflix & chill for our first date.” 

He groans, using your entwined hands to pull you into his arms for a suffocating hug. “I already told you,” he laughs, patting the back of your head while you get in a few lighthearted punches against his sides. “I didn’t know what it meant.” 

“Whatever, you sleaze,” you say anyway, eventually melting into his hands. “Bet you tell all the girls that.” Jungkook makes another scandalized noise, but settles when you wrap your hands around him. He smells so good and familiar, comforting even. Like home and safety, a refuge for your heart. When you’re this close, you can hear the light beating of it beneath your ear, a steady rhythm that has you closing your eyes when he begins humming your favorite song. 

He gets about two verses in when your phone suddenly goes off. 

Everything in your body says to ignore it, to continue basking in the comfort of your boyfriend’s embrace and this absolutely perfect moment. But it’s the stupid ringtone you set for all your work peers when you first loaded the entire company contact list onto your phone, so the sound alone lets you know it’s a work-related call. And for work to be calling you on a weekend was definitely not a good sign. 

“Give me a sec,” you tell Jungkook, pulling away from his arms. He frowns but lets you go, staying close as you dig through your purse for the offending device. 

It’s Kim Seokjin calling at this peculiar hour, a fact that confuses the hell out of you. Jungkook’s bouncing on his heels in an attempt to fight off the chill, giving you his beautiful side profile as he glances down the winding sidewalk that follows the river, and then at his watch. His nose is a cute red color that you want to kiss so bad. But work calls, so you tighten up and let that dream go for now. You swipe your thumb across the screen. 

“Hello, Mr. Kim,” you greet, trying to keep the confusion out of your voice. “How can I help—“

“__, my love,” he beams through the phone, so fucking loud it has Jungkook glancing over curiously. You give him a tight-lipped smile, one he returns as he shuffles closer, trying to steal your warmth like a penguin. You let him snuggle close before turning back to the droning voice of your superior on the line. 

“Hello,” you repeat again, slowly. Jungkook takes your free hand in his; when he squeezes, the band of your promise ring digs into your skin just the slightest. “Was something the matter?” 

Seokjin laughs, loud and clear. There’s a lot of other noises filtering in through his line. Briefly, you remember that there had been some work-related party for the higher ups tonight so you write it off as that. “Does there need to be a problem for me to call you, love?” 

You falter. Beside you, Jungkook’s brows furrow together, his devilishly handsome features even more pronounced. He’s obviously heard the other man on the line. “Um,” you flounder for a second, “well, usually yes.” 

Without missing a beat, Seokjin carries on with a playful tut that you’re almost certain has him lifting the receiver up to his mouth, because it’s so goddamn loud it has you flinching away from your own device. “My __,” he says, sweet and… slurred? 

He’s never used this tone of voice on you, only on other women at the office. Something about his broken marriage and needing to heal a wound, you don’t fucking know. You can’t even begin to truly understand that logic, which is why you’ve always just ignored it. Still, in the last few months of knowing Seokjin, he has never made a pass at you. Until now, that is. And until now, you had kind of convinced yourself he saw you in a sisterly way. Which sure, was worse than being friendzoned. But this was your boss you were talking about. Whether you got sister-zoned or not by him was the least of your concerns. So what was going on? What had changed over the span of a few days that had him suddenly reaching out to you on a weekend? 

Beside you, Jungkook doesn’t look the slightest bit impressed, tongue prodding against his cheek as Seokjin rambles on the line. You wish you had lowered the volume before answering, but doing so now would appear suspicious, even you could admit that. “You’re amazing, you know that?” Seokjin praises. You nod, remember he can’t see you, and settle on a blunt thanks instead. Jin laughs. “You’re different from the rest,” he hums, voice soft and weirdly intimate. 

Jungkook’s frown deepens. “What does he want?” he murmurs, somehow managing to keep his voice calm as always. The deep furrow of his brows and the tongue-against-cheek motion he had done just a few seconds ago all indicate he’s annoyed, that much you can tell. 

You shrug, eyes wide as you hurry to get to the reason for the phone call. You’re almost certain it’s just Seokjin being drunk— many people drunkenly dial their friends and family to tell them how much they’re appreciated, this wasn’t anything weird! 

Is what you try to convince yourself, but then Seokjin’s voice is dropping an octave by your ear. “Did you get my gift?” he murmurs, voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of the event he’s at. 

“Huh?” you stammer, quite stupidly if you do say so yourself. Jungkook shifts closer, obviously trying to hear. A breeze ruffles his hair, his cologne wafting over you. “What?” 

A sigh over the line. “My gift, love,” Kim Seokjin says, loud and proud. Jungkook exhales, hard. “I had it sent to your house this evening. Something pretty for a pretty girl— don’t tell me the postman fucked that up,” he jokes and Jungkook huffs, practically breathing fire through his nose when he hears the words. 

You fidget. There had been no gift when Jungkook picked you up around sunset, not like you had expected anything to begin with. And aside from Jungkook and maybe your parents, there was no one else on this planet you wanted to receive a Valentine’s Day gift from anyway, especially not from your boss of all people. “Um,” you mumble, acutely aware of the way Jungkook’s face is nearly pressed to yours now in his effort to listen in on your phone call. “I— um, haven’t been home, Seokjin.”

Jungkook scoffs, spits out a particularly unimpressed, “Seokjin?” 

Said man doesn’t hear. “Oh, of course,” he says, almost sullenly. “I forgot you had that little boyfriend to entertain tonight.” 

It’s the breaking point for Jungkook, who leans back to glare at the phone with the heat of a thousand suns. You press it against your chest before he can hear anything else. “I’m sorry,” you rush out in a hurried whisper, eyes flickering over his face, trying to gauge the intensity of his emotions. “I think he’s drunk— he’s never said things to me like this before,” you stammer, feeling like you have to defend yourself for some reason. “I’ll- I’ll take care of it, okay?” No answer, just an aggravated shake of his head, like he’s trying to calm himself down. “Jungkook?” you say, can feel the panic begin to lace your voice when his eyes flutter shut. 

He calms your worries with a gentle head butt that has you gasping in surprise, one hard exhale fanning over you. “Okay,” he says, teeth clenched. “I’m gonna go sit.” And then he stiffly walks over to one of the many benches lining the pathway. He sits, just like he had said he would, and glares down at his hands instead. 

The sight makes you anxious, unsure of how to diffuse the situation because, like you’ve said many times before, dealing with emotions— especially someone else’s emotions —was hard. Your eyes refuse to leave his figure as you draw the phone back up to your ear again. “Hello?” you call, voice trembling when Jungkook finally looks your way. The soft look he had given you all night is nowhere to be found, replaced with this rather unreadable expression. Something between annoyance and confusion if you had to guess. You don’t know, and the fact you don’t know makes you panic. Your chest feels tight when Seokjin begins speaking again. 

“You know,” he says, “you’re quite something, __. Strong, confident. Beautiful.” Had you been anyone else, you might have been flattered by Kim Seokjin’s remarks, maybe would have swooned. He was, objectively speaking, a handsome man with a hefty bank account. 

But if that was the criteria for a man to make you swoon, then the man on the bench in front of you checked all the same boxes three times over. The man who’s brows draw closer and closer together the longer you linger on the phone. Jungkook’s foot does one agonizing tap against the concrete and you find yourself stammering into the phone. “I think you’re drunk, Jin.”

A scoff. “I am,” he agrees, and doesn't even bother to hide it. “But you remind me of her, you know that? I like that.”

It’s like he knows something is going on on the line, because Jungkook visibly bristles when you sidestep in surprise. What was going on, your brain screams. Having your superior compare you to his infidel wife was definitely not something you saw coming tonight. “Uh, okay?” you say, “listen, Seokjin— Mr. Kim, I’m... I have a boyfriend. And I really lov—“

He cuts you off. Jungkook bristles at the sudden stop of your sentence. “Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin drawls, and you can feel the sheer terror of accidentally jeopardizing your relationship with Jungkook step aside for the briefest moment to allow some annoyance to seep through. Annoyed with Seokjin and his audacity, his tone, his voice. “Mrs. Kim used to say that about me,” he chuckles humorlessly, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” A long pause. You’re unsure of how to respond. “It’s not real,” Seokjin says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “Love, that is.”

You clench your jaw, gathering your thoughts to respond when Seokjin beats you to it. “But you know what, love?” You don’t respond. Seokjin pushes on anyway. “Someone’s gonna cheat sooner or later— why not beat him to it?” 

Your body reacts first, a startled gasp inhaled through your lips at his disrespectful preposition. Your phone slips out of your grasp. It bounces twice, lands on the ledge that gives way to the river, and you almost kick it in when Jungkook comes up behind you. “Hey, hey,” he says sternly, tugging you away from the phone you almost killed. “What’s wrong— what did he say?”

You exhale, face warm from the discomfort sitting heavy in your chest. “Nothing,” you huff, mind slightly foggy as you try to process that awkward conversation. “It’s— it was stupid,” you spit, pressing the heels of your palms against your temples, the raging anger and confusion making your head pound now. 

You had always known Kim Seokjin wasn’t the most faithful man, that the infidelity ran both ways in his relationship. But you had never imagined he would ever compare you to her, his cheating wife, in an attempt to win you over. Furthermore, you’re downright disturbed by the fact he would even try to hit on you after all the mentoring he’d given you, all the polite smiles he’d flashed you, all the praise you had bestowed upon him to Jungkook. 

Jungkook, whose jaw twitches as his hands graze your forearms. When you look at him again, you feel an immense wave of remorse wash over you at the way his own irritation is clouded by his worry for you. He had been wronged as well— disrespected just like you —but here he was, pushing his own emotions aside for your sake. He doesn’t want to see you upset. He was so good at dealing with your emotions, knew just what to do when things became too much. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, lips pursed together. “I don’t know why— he’s never— I wouldn’t do that,” you settle on, voice wobbling when Jungkook’s jaw clenches. “Jungkook,” you frown, reaching for his hands, “I wouldn’t—“ 

He shushes you with another one of those gentle forehead bumps. “Calm down,” he says, voice deeper than usual. “I know you wouldn’t.” 

Weirdly, it feels like you’ve committed a grave sin against your boyfriend. A crime. “I’m sorry,” you blubber anyway, heart thundering in your chest. “That was horrible,” you huff, desperately blinking away the stinging sensation behind your eyes. “You didn’t deserve to hear that.”

“Don’t cry,” Jungkook says, so soft and comforting; stable. You want his composure, his ability to process and understand things so quickly— his maturity. Sure he had been put off by Seokjin, but he had processed it all so quickly; adapted to the situation and stepped in to save you. Meanwhile, you nearly committed cellular murder because you couldn’t handle yourself. “He’s a weirdo,” he says, for both your sakes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.” 

Still, you sniffle. “I’m sorry,” you say again, the heavy feeling in your chest lightening just a little bit when he pulls you into his arms. 

“Crybaby,” he teases softly, a kiss on the crown of your head. You pinch his side. “Second phone you broke in a year.”

The mood for the riverwalk is off after that, and you only walk a few more meters before Jungkook decides it’s enough. “We can still enjoy ourselves at home,” he reassures you, and the way he tries to salvage that soft, fuzzy feeling from before is admirable. So Jungkook takes you home, holds your hand the whole drive back to your place, like he knows you’re still fragile from that extremely uncomfortable interaction, need him to hold you together. Jungkook’s emotional stability guards you like a shield, covers you in a wave of comfort as you calm down. You tell him about Seokjin’s preposition and he bristles. “Prick,” he murmurs beneath his breath, grip tightening just the tiniest bit. Your ring pinches against your skin a little painfully, but you say nothing. 

There’s a box of flowers on your doorstep when you arrive, one that makes Jungkook pause at the sight. “Wonderful,” he drones, picking it up for you as you unlock the front door. It gets left on the coffee table, practically mocking the two of you as you remove your shoes and coats. “That’s your favorite flower,” Jungkook notes. 

You glance at the expensive bouquet. “It is.” 

Jungkook drops down onto your couch, eyes flickering to the meticulous arrangement in front of him. “You told him?” Not really. But back when you had thought Jungkook and you were engaged (read: last week), you had spent days looking at different floral shops that specialized in this flower, frequently leaving the tab open on your work computer. Seokjin must have seen it then. At your extended silence, Jungkook says, “nice.”

You frown, setting your heels on the shoe rack. “Baby, I didn’t,” you tell him softly, reaching for the zip on the back of your dress. It comes down, and after clearing your hips, it falls to the floor in a dark heap you pick up quickly. It leaves you scantily clad in a black lingerie set. Meanwhile, Jungkook drops his head back, glaring at your ceiling. Tentatively, you step over to him, toying with the fabric of your dress in your hands. “You said it was okay.”

“I know,” he sighs, an unexpected confession from him that makes you pause. Despite all you’ve been through, he still rarely highlighted situations that upset him. “It’s just,” he says, turning his head to look at your form again, eyes not drinking you in like you hoped he would. “It’s scary.”

The couch cushion dips beneath your weight when you settle beside him. “What is?”

Jungkook shrugs, avoiding your question by reaching for the TV remote on the coffee table, right beside the box of flowers Seokjin had sent. He opens up the Viki app in a flash— the one linked to his account —and has even loaded up the next episode of Secretary Kim when you question him again. “What’s scary, Jungkook?” you repeat. 

On screen, there’s a beautiful scene on a bridge, the two leads happily conversing. It’s serene, something neither you nor Jungkook feel at the moment. 

Eventually, he says, “you could leave.”

You pause. “What do you mean?” Leave? Where on earth would you leave to when this was your home? He doesn’t meet your gaze. 

Another scene passes by on screen, some cheesy line and an even cheesier promise. Jungkook’s foot taps against the floor, the sound dull against the plush rug beneath you. It’s a nervous tick you’ve only seen him do at the height of truly stressful situations. Weird because just half an hour before you had dubbed him as the epitome of calm and collected at the river. 

“I thought he was cool before.” 

He did. But the word ‘cool’ didn’t always have the same meaning for Jungkook as it did for you. 

In the past, Jungkook had frequently joked about having to meet Kim Seokjin and thank him for all the help he’s given you at work. After all, up until now, you had only ever had good things to say about the man, raving about his cool demeanor and respectable work ethics. Now, the memories paired with the conversation from earlier leave a bad taste in your mouth. 

You’re a little confused with Jungkook right now; part of you had convinced yourself that whatever happened on the phone earlier with Seokjin was put behind you, marked off as an anomaly in the evening. After all, Jungkook himself had said it was okay. Park Seojoon appears on screen, and you can’t help but glare at the character, residue emotions from the river pushed off onto this innocent actor. 

Still, Jungkook surprises you. “It’s just that—“ he sighs. And then, “what if you leave?” 

You blink, eyes trained on his side profile and the way he’s nervously chewing through his bottom lip until it tints a red shade, gives way to sensitive skin when he bites too hard. “Why would I leave?” 

He says nothing. On screen, Park Seojoon says something so cheesy and romantic that it would have otherwise made you cringe, made Jungkook soft. But he’s stiff as a board beside you instead. You almost think he’s going to disregard the entire conversation when he finally speaks again. “Well.” You perk up at the sound of his voice, overly aware of the way he’s started picking at the skin around his thumb again, another nasty habit you’ve been trying to help him get over. “He’s cool. Rich.”

“And so are you,” you offer, covering his hand with your own. 

Jungkook ignores you, releasing a long, shaky exhale. Somehow, he’s exuding a similar energy as before; discontentment mixed with understanding. Like he’s greatly conflicted but forcing himself to remain calm. Another trembling inhale, and then Jungkook quietly recites, “everyone wants to sleep with their hot boss.” 

You recoil just the slightest, brows pinched together at the absurd conclusion he’s drawn. “Baby, that was just a silly conversation,” you say slowly, slipping your hand into his. He squeezes so tight you’re afraid he’ll break your bones. “And we were joking—“

“I know!” he exclaims, enveloping your significantly smaller hand in both of his before bringing them up to his face, lips pressed against your knuckles. It’s not a kiss, more so a desperate need to feel you against him. Eyes wide, you can’t do anything but watch as that collected exterior slips away, revealing a whirlwind mess of emotions. It’s a rather unexpected show from Jungkook. “It was a joke. We were joking. But I’m—“ his jaw clenches. His voice is so tiny when he speaks again. “I get scared sometimes, __.” 

His emotional outburst renders you speechless, watching as he squeezes his eyes shut, jaw clenching, hands trembling. 

It’s a stark image change from the cool Jungkook that had comforted you at the river, had patted the back of your head when you had been so distraught. His chest heaves for air and you don’t know what to do; it’s always the other way around, him comforting you, that when it comes down to this you find yourself at a loss. It makes you feel like you don’t know enough about yourself or him or your relationship in general to help him, always so lost when things like this happen. 

Jungkook has never been good at expressing negative emotions, always preferring to bottle them up and only show you his very best side. Granted, he’s been getting better at letting go lately, has whispered his doubts to you in the dead of night after a particularly grueling project, an uncomfortable social meeting. But he always waits until you’re half asleep and in the dark to tell you how he feels, hushed worries that you barely remember the next morning. And by then, Jungkook’s moved on from them anyway, flashes you a pretty smile and purposefully guides you away from that conversation. You know he’s started keeping a journal recently, but aside from seeing the blanks pages when he’d first gotten, you don’t have a clue what happened afterwards. It’s probably hidden away somewhere, his feelings locked up in a cupboard or a box, the secrets it holds never to be spoken of aloud. 

He doesn’t like talking about his more personal problems, hoards them until you’re forced to intervene. Find him slumped over at his dining table with bags under his eyes, the skin on his lower lip bitten beyond belief. 

Rarely does he sit down and express himself like this, lays his heart out carefully for you to see. Had he not said so right now, you would have never known Jungkook struggled with such doubts about you and your relationship. 

(It makes your heart ache at the realization.) 

Jungkook always acts like everything is okay, always forces himself to hold it together for the sake of you and, quite frankly, everyone else. He’s there when Taehyung breaks up with his girlfriends, pats him on the back and lets him run through every video game he has on his PS5. He’s there for Namjoon when his thesis becomes too much, proofreads it even though he doesn’t understand a word just for the sake of giving his best friend another perspective. Hell, he had even been there for Doyeon when her new landlord had tried to overcharge her, had carried the bulk of your argument when you ran off to try and fight with the old man. 

(“He’s too nice sometimes,” she had murmured the next morning at her place. After the shouting match the night before, you had crashed with Doyeon on her new bed, your sweet boyfriend taking up her couch. Somehow, you and Jungkook had managed to knock a clean seventy-five bucks off her monthly bill. It wasn’t much, but for an apartment in the city it sure felt like a lot. 

You had hummed, patting the top of his head on the way to the kitchen. “He’s a good boy,” you had said, heart thrumming when he instinctively pushed closer to your hand, nuzzling into you even in his sleep. “He cares about everyone a lot. Worries to death about his friends.”

The state of their relationship was weird; they were always fighting about one thing or another, ‘eternal enemies’ as Doyeon liked to claim. 

But for the first time, she hadn’t denied they were, in fact, friends. Instead, she had quietly stood at the breakfast nook overlooking the living room with a somber look on her face that was completely unlike the Doyeon you knew. She didn’t respond with her usual backhanded compliments, didn’t even call him a gremlin either. 

“He even worries about you, Miss Wicked Witch of the West,” you had teased, reaching over to pull Jungkook’s shirt down where it had ridden up, exposing his cute belly button to the cold apartment. She had sipped at her mug of coffee, eyes foggy and distant. “It just takes him a while.” 

“He’s always cared about you though,” she had murmured then, and you had marked it off as her being half asleep. But Doyeon had given you this look, a look so profoundly wise, as if she was saying, “more than you’ll ever know.”) 

Most importantly, Jungkook is always there for you. He holds you in his arms, strokes your back comfortingly whenever something goes wrong. Listens to your concerns and offers you advice, learns new things for the sole purpose of helping you out. Lets you make stupid decisions and always saves you at the last minute. And you want to repay him for all that, want to look after Jungkook like he does for everyone else. But it’s hard, it’s so fucking hard, when he doesn’t let you in, when he holds his emotions at bay for the sake of protecting yours. When you don’t even know where to start sometimes. 

The beating of your heart is accompanied by a dramatic orchestral ensemble on screen, violins and flutes as the two lovers reconcile some issue with a kiss. Beside you, your own lover is one second away from falling apart. “Hey,” you say quietly, slipping your hand out of his to hesitantly place on his back instead. With your release, Jungkook uses his empty hands to drag over his face, hide himself from you. “I’m not going to leave you, Jungkook,” you try and comfort, “I love you.” 

He shakes his head, dark locks bouncing around. “I know, I know,” he sighs, but it doesn’t sound like he believes you. It sounds like he’s forcing himself into composure again, jaw flexing as he shakes his head. “But— what if—” another aggravated huff, his thighs jumping anxiously. “You’ll get bored.” Not a question, but a statement. 

“Of you?” you ask anyway. He nods. “I won’t.”

He sits up so suddenly you have to move away to avoid bumping into him. “You will,” he urges, finally looking at you, distress painted over every inch of his face. “That guy, that Seokjin, he sounds more interesting than me. He sounds cool and put together, like the world is his oyster and,” he rubs the heels of his hands against his eyes. “You talk about him sometimes and... and you call him a god, __,” he stresses, doesn’t leave room for you to object. “And I know you’re joking, but—“ a sharp inhale, and then, quietly, “everyone gets bored of me, __.” 

Your frown deepens. “But I won’t,” you argue, confident in your claim, shifting onto your knees beside him. Your dress is thrown over the armrest of the couch, and the draft in your apartment makes goosebumps rise on your bare flesh. “You’re not boring, Jungkook,” you tell him, voice softening when his features pinch up, nose wrinkling as he wards off the stinging behind his eyes. 

It’s teenage trauma. Jungkook had told you at least that much before, this crippling sense of loneliness and an inferiority complex that hindered him during an influential growth period of his life. It’s why he’s so quiet when he has so much to say, why he brings you along to every party he gets invited to; he’s never felt like he was enough by himself. 

Sometimes, it leaks into his confessions. “I don’t deserve you,” he says frequently, but some days you want to hot glue him to a chair and force him to listen to every reason why he does and always will deserve you or anyone for that matter. “You make me better,” he claims, but he does that all on his own, lights up the world with his smile alone. 

He’s gotten better, that much you’ve learned from Namjoon and Taehyung. And even you’ve noticed it on your own, watched as he animatedly talked with his friends and his coworkers, drew people naturally to him with his warm aura. 

Even still, there’s moments where he relapses. Moments like this. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs beside you, “I know I’m a handful—“

“You’re not,” you interrupt, cupping his soft cheek in your hand, turning him to face you. Jungkook leans into the touch, and your heart breaks in half when a tear escapes over his waterline, pretty eyes brimming with tears. “You’re not a handful, Jungkook,” you tell him, shuffling closer until you can press your forehead against his. The truth is, you don’t know how to comfort him, but this is how he’s always comforted you; it feels nice when he does it for you. “You’re just enough,” you say, voice soft because it feels like your precious boy is about to fall apart in your arms, his shallow breaths rivaling the volume of the television. “You’ve always been enough.” 

He sniffles, and another tear tickles the side of your thumb, catching the light. “I’m sorry,” he repeats anyway, a disbelieving chuckle tacked on at the end. 

“Don’t be,” you shush, pushing away a strand of hair when he leans closer. His frown is still prominent, pink lips red and soft under your thumb when you tap your finger against them. “You can tell me when things worry you, you know,” you inform him, heart swelling when his eyes fall shut and he leans into your touch. He’s so handsome, the cute little mole beneath his lip begging to be kissed. “I’ll always listen.”

Jungkook hums, breathing evening out. “I know you will,” he says. “But I like listening to your voice more, and I can’t do that when I’m talking.” 

You snort and Jungkook finally lets a tiny smile slip. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after your meltdown,” you mumble, kissing his cheek softly. 

Jungkook chuckles, real this time, and sniffles right afterwards. “I’ll flirt with you whenever I want.” And, because he’s just so full of surprises tonight, he sniffles once more before he’s unceremoniously tackling you back onto the couch. You squeal, the TV remote digging into your back painfully. It has the volume accidentally skyrocketing, startling the both of you with an ear-shattering orchestral piece at the height of some emotional scene. Jungkook scrambles to free the device and lower the volume before your eardrums burst. “I didn’t even know your TV could go that loud,” he says, and he’s speaking normally but the deafening violins are still reverberating in your head, making him sound quieter than he really is. 

“Come here,” you say instead, and he obeys, crawling into your arms, mouth hovering just over yours. “You feeling better?”

Jungkook nods, dark hair bouncing. “You make me better,” he tries, but after tonight’s realization, you respond to his corny words with a pinch against his doughy cheek instead. 

“Don’t say that,” you frown, toying with one of the earrings decorating his ear. The tip of his nose is flushed red, the exertion from crying catching up to him. His lashes are dark, probably feel so heavy with the residual tears that cling to them. 

Jungkook repositions himself, guides your legs around his waist. “Why not? It’s true.” He glances at your mouth. “You make my life better.”

“Wrong,” you say bluntly, brushing his hair back with your hands. “Your own perception and understanding of your experiences makes your life better. I just happen to be in it.” Jungkook looks the tiniest bit surprised at your suddenly logical argument. “Trust me, I saw it in a documentary the other day.” 

At that he laughs, full and loud, pecking your lips once with a sweet smile on his face. “Now I know you’re lying,” he grins, gently nudging his nose against yours. The drama on the TV is but a quiet hum compared to the pounding of your heart in your chest when he looks at you like that. “Because you don’t even like documentaries.” 

You kiss him softly, holding his hair back for him. He tastes a little bit like the chocolate cake he had at the restaurant and the lemonade he drank (he didn’t indulge in the sweet wine with you because he needed to drive). His lips mold perfectly against yours, and he sighs softly when he finally draws back. “But I like you,” you purr. 

Jungkook’s eyes darken, one heavy exhale fanning across the lower half of your face. You readjust the leg around his waist, pull him closer just the slightest bit. “Don’t flirt with me so soon after my meltdown,” he repeats, lips brushing against yours. You chuckle. “You don’t know what that means to me.” You can roughly guess, but that opportunity is taken away when Jungkook slots his mouth against yours, soft lips molding to yours. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip, wastes no time slipping in when you open for him, hot and wet. 

Jungkook’s fingers are just as warm when he trails them up the back of your thigh, pulls you impossibly closer until the buckle on his belt is pressed flush against your mound. A tiny whimper escapes your lips, chest jumping just the slightest from the pressure. It makes Jungkook pull away with an easygoing grin, chocolate eyes half-lidded. “You okay?” he murmurs, breath a little shaky from the kiss. You nod, tangling your fingers behind his head and pulling him in close again. 

He evades your puckered lips, ducking down to press his own against your throat, right beneath your jaw. “Ugh,” you groan, digging your nails into his back through his satin shirt. “I wanted a kiss.”

Jungkook nips at your skin, this tiny gesture that couldn’t hurt even if he tried. “You always want a kiss,” he retorts softly, the quiet smack of his lips filling your ears as he bestows a series of smooches against your skin. And it’s so devastatingly tender how he handles you, like you’re made of glass and will break at a moment’s notice, like he wants to treasure your body for the rest of his—

Jungkook chomps down, hard, and you hiss. “Sit still,” he orders, soothing over the bite with one broad lick of his tongue. 

You whimper. “That hurt.” 

“And it’ll hurt even more if you keep moving,” he warns you, and before you can ask what that even means, he’s leaving another stinging bite just further down. It’s at the midway point of your neck, right in front, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat when he sucks a painful mark over it. “There,” he says, mostly to himself. “All mine.”

Your legs tighten around him, and you fight down the wave of heat that threatens to consume you when he places one final kiss over the second mark— the hickey. 

Jungkook doesn’t usually leave them. In fact, you can rarely recall a time where he had purposefully gone out of his way to mark you up like this. It was always accidental, always unplanned, because he knew how troublesome it was for you to cover them up for work the next morning. Work, where your coworkers and your bosses and Seokjin could see. 

Brows pinched together, your brain begins to draw a connection, one that Jungkook is soon confirming himself. “Everyone will see that now,” he hums, kissing a trail down your neck. 

Of course. 

You pat the back of his head in amusement, hiding a smile against his soft locks. Before you can say anything more, maybe tease him for being so cute, there’s a hand on your hip that snaps you out of your scheming. Jungkook lifts his head, does that endearing little head shake that pushes his hair out of his eyes, before leaning in for another languid kiss. 

It’s even slower than the first, mostly because he’s a little too preoccupied with running his hands over your body now. It starts at your shoulder, teasingly snaps the strap of your bra as you push your tongue down his throat. Jungkook whimpers, that pretty sound that makes you desperate to hear more. It’s the same sound that he always makes when he wants to be pampered, wants you to kiss his entire body while he lays there and takes it. 

And you’re all too ready to act on it. 

Duty calls and you’re there to answer, tilting his head for him with your hands against his cheeks. He sighs against you, breath trembling as it tickles across your skin. That soft and tender way that makes you melt because he’s just so precious, so dreamy. 

But you’re too caught up in your plotting to remember the hand he’s got on your hip, the one that teases the waistband of your panties with one lone finger. It’s only when Jungkook pulls away from your inviting mouth, his other hand holding you down by your shoulder, that you’re snapped back into reality. His lips are swollen and red, slick from your tongue, and so tantalizingly kissable. He huffs out a breath, eyes flickering over your face. “Can I touch you,” he husks, and gives into the temptation to press a kiss against your jaw. 

“Yes, please,” you shiver, hypnotized by his hungry stare. 

Jungkook wastes no time, pressing another kiss against the bruising mark over your throat that dissolves into a series of lighter smooches he trails down between your breasts. His hands come up to cup your boobs over your bra, giving them one harsh squeeze that has you releasing a long exhale as he moves between the valley and down your tummy, over your belly button. “Open,” he says at your pubic bone, carefully guiding your legs apart until you’re spread wide for him. 

The dark panties you’re wearing tonight— the super expensive ones you had spent an hour measuring your body for the exact sizing —receive one light kiss over the front. “Always so pretty for me,” Jungkook murmurs, tracing one lone finger down the middle. Your stomach contracts when he nudges it against you, the soft material of your panties just barely pushed between your folds. 

As his hand occupies itself with some relatively light foreplay, Jungkook tasks himself with leaving another tingling mark against your skin. This time, it’s on the inside of your thigh. He starts it off slowly, a few littered kisses against the skin until he deems one spot worthy enough and abruptly sinks his teeth into you. “Not so hard,” you whimper, reaching down to bury your hands in his hair. 

Jungkook lets it go, sloppily licking over the area. “You like it hard,” he husks, meeting your gaze as he licks one, long stripe over the tender skin. “Don’t you?” You nod demurely, pressing your knuckles against your lips to hold back a tiny moan from slipping past your lips. 

With that new mark blooming over your skin, Jungkook transfers his attention to your pussy, hidden beneath the soft material of your panties. One finger hooks under the hem, tucking them aside until he can see you in your entirety. “Fuck,” he groans, pressing one light kiss over your clit that makes you inhale sharply, fingers digging into his scalp. Jungkook throws one final glance your way before letting his tongue slip past his lips, the very tip flicking against your clit. 

Your breathing becomes shallow, anticipation building in the pits of your stomach as he slowly but surely begins playing with you. His tongue is so warm and wet, nudges your throbbing clit, nose pressed against your mound. “Mmm,” he moans, eyes fluttering shut as his mouth works wonders. 

“Ah,” you gasp, whiny and high-pitched, when he dips one finger past your wet folds. The entry is seamless, his pointer finger sinking into the velvet walls of your cunt as his tongue swirls against your hardened bud. “Jungkook,” you mewl, knocking your heel against his shoulder. Jungkook huffs, suctions his lips around your clit. The cold metal of the rings he always wears— the duo set from that Chrome Hearts brand he likes so much —presses against the trembling lips of your pussy, makes your back arch when he twists his finger inside of you. 

He’s so precise with his tongue, knows just how long and how hard to lick against your pulsing clit until you’re trembling, thighs quivering. Briefly, he pulls away, flicks his hair to the side in one suave motion that lets you see his dark eyes when he glances back up at you again, covered in a thick sheen of lust that makes them appear almost black as opposed to his usual warm brown. His hands reach for the waistband of your panties, tug them off with one fluid pull. 

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs, the end of his words laced with a slight rasp that makes your hips jump. “All for me,” he says, roughly pushing his finger into you again. The harshness makes your entire body tighten up in surprise, eyes fluttering shut when he slips his middle finger alongside his pointer this time around. 

“Baby, wait,” you whimper, walls fluttering around the two digits. Jungkook leans back in, presses a chaste kiss against your clit that makes your breathing stall as he thrusts his fingers into you. 

He ignores your cries, locks his lips at the juncture where your thigh meets your body, sensitive skin that bruises all too easily when he sucks against it too hard. “Only for me,” he sighs, all pretenses discarded as he begins rapidly and roughly fucking his fingers into you. It’s intense, has your thighs quaking as he speeds them up. 

The coil in your stomach tightens, and you have to bite down on your knuckles to stop the litany of whimpers from slipping past your lips when Jungkook ducks down again. He bypasses your quivering clit, warm tongue licking at the warm, wet folds around his fingers instead. The proximity makes the tip of his round nose brush along the length of your cunt, a sight and sensation that makes you moan, his bangs harshly tugged away from his forehead to give you the perfect view. 

It’s with a particularly hard shove and twist combination of his fingers into your clenching walls that you cum, a gasp caught in your throat as your hips push toward him, chasing the feeling Jungkook bestows upon you. Your breathing is a mess, inhales too short, your exhales inconsistent, as Jungkook slows the speed of his fingers inside of you, lets your cum ooze out around them, coat his fingers and his rings. 

“No,” you cry, watching that look come over his face when he withdraws his hand, the look that usually follows him sucking your cum into his mouth. “Jungkook, you don’t have to do that—” you whine, reaching for his wrist and yanking it towards you. 

Jungkook follows, crawls back up beside you as he chases his own sticky fingers. “It’s mine,” he urges, has this weird look in his eyes you don’t think you’ve ever seen before. And just as quickly as it crosses his features, he’s lurching forward to catch his own fingers in his mouth. It’s lewd, the way his tongue wraps around them, leaves them sleek under the TV glow, tattoos and rings glistening. He has the audacity to moan, eyes fluttering shut as his devious tongue slips down between his fingers, so long and precise. There’s a tiny noise that tears itself from your throat, one that has him flickering his clouded gaze up to you as his fingers are released from between his own lips. “You like that,” he murmurs, wet fingers trailing down your cheek, capturing your chin to turn your face his way completely. 

His tongue is sinful as it slips past your lips again, the tangy taste of yourself clinging to him. His breathing feels hot, suffocating. But his kisses are so good, make your mind go blank. So blank, that the fingers that rub at your clit surprise you completely. “Kook,” you gasp, breaking away from him in surprise. 

Jungkook doesn’t let you get far, capturing your mouth with his again. The two fingers you had felt on your chin are gone, firmly pressed against your swollen clit, experimentally rubbing against it. Never mind the fact you were still sensitive from your first orgasm, thighs quivering when he drags them against the wet, soft skin. It makes you shudder, breaking away from him a second time for a desperately needed inhale of fresh air. Jungkook follows behind closely, pressing kisses over your jawline, your chin, as his fingers continue moving against your clit.

He has them pressed together, rubbing at the front of your slit where that bundle of nerves is hidden. It makes your stomach contract, hips jerking forward into the touch in an effort to match him, to speed up the process. “You were made for me, pretty girl,” Jungkook huffs against your cheek, nose pressed against your skin because he’s just so close, practically molded into your side as his fingers send rhythmic shocks of ecstasy up your spine.

Your mouth drops open, stuttered gasps filtering through your lips as Jungkook takes advantage of your sensitive body to draw out another orgasm. But there’s a weird sensation that builds in your stomach this time, one that brings with it a sense of panic. “Wait—“ you gasp, fisting the silky material of his shirt beneath one clenched fist. “Jungkook,” you warn, toes curling.

He responds with a harsh nip against your lower lip that makes you whimper. “Go ahead,” he purrs, rubbing his fingers over you at an insane speed, one that has your juices sloppily spread over your pussy, makes you buck into him and moan against his mouth. 

The feeling grows, an intense, unfamiliar thing that you rarely recall ever feeling before, gasping for air as Jungkook’s fingers caress your clit, pressing down hard. “Fffuck, fuck,” you sob, mouth opening in a silent scream, eyes rolling backwards as you feel your pussy lips contract harder than ever before, thighs quivering as your juices squirt out of you, lower body reduced to jello as Jungkook quickens his movements, wrists jerking back and forth as your pleasure sprays out of you. “Ju— Jungkook,” you wail, forcefully slamming your thighs shut when he doesn’t stop, the pleasure seemingly never-ending under such a torturous touch. “Stop—stop,” you beg, eyes filling with tears that spill over when his trapped hand manages one final rough rub against your clit accompanied by a final gush of wetness. 

Only then does he stop, leaning back on his knees to drink you in with dark eyes that make you quiver. There’s no trace of his usual post-orgasm cockiness, the smile he’ll flash you, the teasing jabs. Nothing, just a frankly terrifying gaze that has you self-consciously pressing your hands over your chest. 

Jungkook doesn’t take kindly to it, roughly snatching one of your wrists up until you’re sitting up, the traces of your own orgasm present in the damp couch cushions beneath you, inner thighs coated in a thin sheen of your own pleasure. Jungkook leans in close, nose bumping against yours. “You came like that for me,” he says quietly, chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. You nod, eyes wide and teary when he reaches for the front of his shirt, giving it the same treatment he usually gives yours; two hands at the front, yanking it apart until the buttons are torn from their stitches and bouncing across your floor. 

He throws it off to the side, his tan skin highlighted by the cool tones of the television, the dark sleeve of his tattoo especially prominent. The black ink almost looks blue under this light. You’re so distracted by the perfect swirls and doodles on Jungkook’s skin that you don’t realize that same hand is reaching for you until it’s too late, long fingers wrapping around your throat to jerk you forward, head tipping back to look up at him. “Say it, sweet girl,” he murmurs, eyes half-lidded. “Tell me you’re mine.”

The fingers around your throat squeeze once and then slowly begin tightening. You gasp, meeting his hooded gaze with yours, lips quivering for a response that’s stuck in your throat, trapped by your own surprise and tightening airways. Frantically, you reach for his wrists with both hands, not to pull Jungkook’s hand away, but to ground yourself from the hazy cloud of lust the moment evokes. 

Still, your body isn’t as strong as you thought, and once Jungkook reaches a certain tightness around your throat you find yourself coughing. Instantly, he loosens his grip. But not too much. “I- I’m yours,” you rasp out, gasping for air. 

For now, it satisfies Jungkook enough for him to release you. And while you’re grateful for the rush of fresh air that fills your lungs, the phantom ghost of his grip around your throat sends a new gush of wetness between your thighs. One that grows tenfold when Jungkook reaches for his belt, undoes it easily. It comes off with one fluid motion, carelessly shucked off to the side as his attention moves to the front of his pants instead. 

He doesn’t let you sit around uselessly. “On your knees,” he says, so quietly you almost don’t hear it. “Sit on your knees facing the table.”

You blink slowly, the dry tears on your cheeks leaving stiff trails against your makeup. It takes a moment for your brain to process his request, one long second that has Jungkook pausing in his movements, leveling you with one solemn glare that eventually has you springing into action. You hastily slip off the couch, shuffling toward the coffee table between it and the television. The rug is soft beneath your knees, a luxury you can’t enjoy to the fullest because there’s a ball of excitement and fear stuck in your throat. (Right beneath your bruised skin and recuperating windpipes.) Sitting back on your calves, it feels like every nerve is standing stiff as you await his instructions. 

“Bra off,” Jungkook says from behind you, and you’re startled by the sudden ripping of stitches behind you, almost turning to look at him. He stops you with one hand around the back of your neck, drawing a surprised gasp from you. “Sit still,” he commands, your back stiff straight, eyes focused on the screen. After a beat, Jungkook lets you go, pats the back of your head gingerly. “Good girl.”

A whimper catches in your throat at the praise, and you barely manage to bite down on it in time, hurriedly reaching behind you. Your hands fidget over the clasps on your bra, and you nearly jump out of your skin when one lone finger traces down your spine, undoing your bra for you. You don’t know why, but you say, “thank you.”

The television changes scenes in front of you, the bright colors a stark contrast to the darkness of Jungkook’s eyes. Your hands tremble in front of you, fingers anxiously tangling with each other. A few inches beside you, there’s a dark red box filled with the flowers from—

Suddenly, your vision goes dark, hands instinctively reaching up to your eyes. The pads of your fingers come in contact with a soft material, smooth and silky. Just like— “Is this… ?” you murmur, hands sliding across the makeshift blindfold Jungkook’s made for you, the same texture as his shirt had been. 

He doesn’t grace you with an answer, just a hand against your hip as he, presumably, settles behind you. “Does it matter?” Jungkook says instead, voice all too close to your ear. Your entire body locks up, hands quickly returning to their spot against the coffee table. 

Just as you’d suspected, Jungkook is all too close now, hands crawling over your body. They start at your waist, massage the skin tenderly, lovingly, before gliding up to cup your breasts. You shiver, a quiet exhale escaping you as Jungkook rubs his palms over your boobs, trapping your stiff nipples between his fingers. A sound threatens to escape you, and you trap it behind a bitten lip, fists clenched against the table before you. “You know,” Jungkook says conversationally, like he’s not pinching your nipples enough to make you squirm. “Who else do you think can make you come like this?”

You brain lags. “W- What?” you stutter, thighs pressing together to ward away the arousal. Not like they’re already sticky from before, from when Jungkook had made you squirt. 

Jungkook doesn’t miss a beat, pressing a kiss against your shoulder that he trails up to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe. “Who else,” he says slowly, “can make you come like this?”

It’s not a trick question— no one could. You tell Jungkook as much. “I— no one,” you answer, rolling your lips in when he kisses the tender spot beneath your ear again. 

His kisses feel loud, but not as loud as his voice when he says, “exactly.” You swallow, gripping at the edge of the coffee table when he releases your boobs, trails one hand between your thighs, the other around your throat to pull you backwards against his chest. It makes your hands flail, landing against the tops of his thick thighs. 

Jungkook holds you close, fingers tightening around your throat teasingly. “No one else can please you like you want,” he exhales, letting his fingers trail over your skin. “Not the guy on tv, not your exes, not the fucking loser at your job,” he hisses, lips against your ear. “No one,” he reiterates, voice softer now as he presses a kiss against you. “No one but me.”

And it’s true. 

You can’t even muster your usual mouthy, bratty attitude when Jungkook serves you cold hard facts like this. Not when you can feel his aching member press against the small of your back, rest perfectly in the slight dip between your ass cheeks. “Isn’t that right, sweet girl?” he murmurs, voice low. 

You nod, tummy tightening when he uses the hand between your thighs to spread them apart. “Only you,” you agree, voice feathery.

Jungkook hides a grin against your skin, a mean chuckle escaping him when he rests his forehead against your shoulder. “Fuck,” he says, releasing your throat. “Such a good girl,” he praises, hands on your hips again. He uses them to encourage you up onto your knees, hips bumping into the edge of the table as he shuffles you forward. “Bend,” he says quietly, palm flat on the center of your back, pushing you down until your belly button is pressed against the cold wood, boobs swinging forward just the slightest. “Perfect.”

Jungkook shuffles up behind you, soothes a hand over your hip when you flinch at the first press of his cock against your folds. “You’re okay,” he comforts, voice like honey as he lines himself up. Your folds are slippery and wet, loose from your arousal and the two orgasms he’s already given you. 

Despite all that, the first push of his engorged cock past the tight muscles makes you gasp. “Baby, that’s,” you moan, nails scratching against the coffee table to make a sound that you would otherwise find uncomfortable. “I—“

Jungkook pants behind you, cock sinking further and further in. “I’ve got you,” he husks. His voice is like the light at the end of the tunnel, your dark vision forcing you to rely on him entirely as he guides you through the motions. “Made for me,” he repeats, voice airy.

You nod jerkily, arms trembling as his cock plunges deeper inside of you. “Made for you,” you gasp, head falling forward, forehead pressed against the cold surface in front of you. 

He moans, and there’s one deafening moment of silence when he finally reaches the hilt, soft pubic hairs at the base of his cock brushing against your folds. It’s a familiar sensation, having him buried inside of you, but it’s always different when he’s doing it from behind. He always feels fuller, bigger, mushroom tip practically kissing your cervix. 

“Kook,” you whimper, walls unintentionally contracting around him when he lingers a second too long. “Move.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he curses behind you. “I know, it’s just—“ he pauses, squeezes your hip so hard, you’re certain it’ll bruise. “I wanna… y’know,” he groans, dropping his head against your back, warm breath fanning across your slightly sweaty skin. 

It makes something in your stomach click into place, shifting back just the slightest. The small drag around your lips makes you brave. “Then do it,” you urge, desperate for any sort of friction. 

Jungkook practically growls, bucking into you once. “No,” he says, like he’s battling with himself, faced with a mental hurdle he can only cross alone. “You don’t understand,” he sneers, suddenly snapping back into position behind you, pulling you flush against his pelvis once more. It makes you whimper. 

“I kinda do—“

“You don’t,” Jungkook hisses, forcefully thrusting his hips into you enough to make your hips knock painfully against the edge of the coffee table, a startled moan falling from between your lips. And from there, it’s like you’ve unleashed a beast, because Jungkook shows you no mercy as he begins fucking you, his fat cock slipping in and out of you, his angry head flirting with your entrance. “I wanna fucking breed you,” he sneers, fingers digging into the skin around your waist to hold you still as he bucks his hips forward.

His vulgarity makes your skin heat up, the warmth probably tangible over your sloppily made blindfold, eyes wide despite the fabric that covers them. “That—” you gasp, thighs trembling with each powerful thrust. 

“It’s too much, I fucking know,” he huffs dryly, releasing one hip to press against your shoulders, roughly shoving you forward until your breasts are pressed against the surface, arms bent up beside you to stop yourself from hitting your head. “But— But,” he shudders, suddenly stopping his thrusts to grind his cock against you instead, pussy lips quivering around his girthy member. “I wanna,” he pants, “wanna see you so fucking full of me, because— you’re mine, __,” he seethes, “right?”

You nod blindly, dumbly, brain too flooded with the stimulation he’s bestowing upon you to think properly. “I- I am,” you confirm, gasping for air. “And you’re mine,” you manage to get out, one hand slapping down against the coffee table when he draws his cock out, slams himself back into you quickly. 

“I’m yours,” Jungkook slurs behind you, slowly picking up his pace again. The hand on your back lets go, and it’s with trembling arms that you manage to push yourself back onto your forearms, one hand blindly reaching for the hand he’s got gripping at your hips. 

“Oh my god,” you whimper, the sounds coming from your connected bodies so lewd and obscene, disgustingly wet when Jungkook slips back inside. He surges forward again, and you try to catch your balance, knees quivering underneath the force of his thrusts. Your hand slides over the tabletop in a feeble effort to hold onto something, anything. You can’t see, and even if you could there’s not much to hold onto on a flat surface. 

Except the box your hand knocks into. Your confusion lasts for only about a second because then Jungkook is ramming his cock into you, over and over, until you’re certain your hips are going to bruise and your knees are going to give out. Jungkook’s moans are soft and feathery, sighs that fan over your shoulder and make your back arch, eyes rolling backwards for the briefest second as if you were possessed. 

“Mine,” he whimpers, desperate and needy, fingernails digging into your skin as he pushes on. “Gonna be mine forever,” he growls. “Gonna— Gonna be so pretty and big,” he moans, “tits so fucking full.” The image he puts in your mind makes you dizzy. 

You nod dumbly, knuckles bumping against the box a second time. “Jungkook,” you choke out, fingers blindly nudging the box aside. But there’s no strength behind it, your entire body feeling weak and useless, all the energy concentrated in the coil in your stomach, the one that grows and tightens with every entrance of Jungkook’s cock into your pulsing walls. “There’s— There’s something,” you gasp, pinky finger tapping against it.

Behind you, Jungkook stills, harsh breaths deafeningly loud. Louder than the television and the corny music that plays, the mindless chatter of the characters you couldn’t name even if you tried. “Why would you...” Jungkook huffs, irritation lacing his words.

You don’t get to question it, because a second later his finger is tucking itself beneath your blindfold, yanking it off carelessly. It makes your head crane backwards, a tiny yelp torn from your lips as the blinding glow of the TV attacks your poor eyes at full force. Jungkook’s long since stopped his rapid thrusts, and it’s only when you glance off to the side that you realize why. 

It’s the stupid box of flowers Seokjin had sent you, the one Jungkook had placed on the coffee table when you first got home. 

Behind you, Jungkook releases one long exhale, both of you looking at the arrangement with various degrees of discomfort. “Did you like them,” he murmurs, cock throbbing inside of you. 

You shake your head, a soft, “no,” falling from your lips. The muscles in your thighs quiver like mad. 

Jungkook says nothing, but you watch as one inked arm stretches out from behind you, the movement of his hips pushing his cock deeper into you. A tiny whimper catches in your throat, watching as Jungkook hooks a finger over the lip of the box. One swift tug has it gliding over the tabletop, coming to a stop right beside your forearm. Jungkook leans back, the silence terrifying. 

“Did you think they were pretty?” he asks, tracing one finger down your spine. Your lower lip trembles as your eyes scan over the bouquet, at the pretty color selection and lovely scent that joined together to overwhelm your senses. 

“No,” you say, but it feels like a lie.

And Jungkook thinks so too, wrapping one hand around your throat and pulling you back forcefully. It’s the same as he did earlier, but with his cock deep inside your pussy, it sends a shock throughout your entire nervous system, a sob tearing itself from within you as he unintentionally pushes himself deeper inside. “Did you,” he says a second time, practically seething, “think Seokjin’s flowers were pretty?”

Your eyes flicker nervously across the screen in front of you, but everything is a blur, Jungkook’s harsh breathing against your ear. “Yes,” you confess, whimpering when his fingers tighten around your throat, press down against your windpipe as he inhales sharply. “But they’re just flow—“ He squeezes your throat so hard, your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, mind growing fuzzy. Eventually, he lets go and you dissolve into a fit of coughs, bent over the coffee table again as Jungkook slips his stiff cock out from within you. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle, throwing a teary-eyed look over your shoulder.

What you’re not expecting is for Jungkook to grab that same shoulder and roughly push you onto your side away from the coffee table, falling onto the fluffy rug as he shoves you down. “Something pretty for a pretty girl,” he sneers, biting down a frankly maniacal grin.

“What?” you exhale, probably looking at him with the same maniacal look in your eyes. 

(You were made for each other, so crazy and in love.)

Jungkook stretches one toned arm out, and you flinch when he uses that same beautiful arm to send the box of flowers flying over the edge of the coffee table, a hard thwack resounding throughout the room when they land face down on the other side, petals against the floor, water dripping out from inside. 

With those out of the way, Jungkook wastes no time flipping you over, face shoved down against the soft rug as he angles your hips up. “Thinking about someone else when I’m right here,” he growls, ramming his cock back into you with no warning. You sob, clawing at nothing as he bucks forward. “What a mean girl,” Jungkook scolds. 

“I- I wasn’t,” you defend weakly, shivering as he snaps his hips against you, the rug irritating your cheek when the motion sends you forward. Jungkook uses the hands on your hips to pull you back, your skin clapping together loudly. 

“You think Seokjin would— would fuck you like this?” he spits, using you like a toy as he fucks basically for himself, cock sliding in and out of your squelching walls. “You think he’d push you down and—and call you a stupid girl?” 

You shake your head, eyes squeezed shut to fight the wave of tears threatening your waterline. Truthfully, it doesn’t make much of a difference, especially not when Jungkook yanks your hips back again, your entrance sensitive from all the friction. “No, no,” you sob. ”He wouldn't.”

Jungkook scoffs, not bothering to slow his pace down. “Of course he wouldn’t,” he spits, and then, strikes your ass. Two hard cracks of his palm, rings and all, against the globes of your ass. You wail, unconsciously jerking away only for Jungkook to drag you back. “Stupid girl,” Jungkook sighs, cock twitching inside of you. You can feel the beads of precum oozing out from the tip of his cock inside you, their warmth making you shudder. 

Your other ass cheek receives the same treatment, two harsh smacks that leave the skin tingling, blood rising to the surface. “Stupid, stupid girl,” he repeats, palms rubbing over your cheeks for a brief second, only to strike down again. “Aren’t you?” You nod, fat tears dripping out of the corner of your eyes and down onto the fluffy rug beneath you. Your behind stings, pain blossoming over your skin. But it’s the good kind, the one that has drool escaping from the corner of your lips from how overwhelmed it leaves you. 

“I- I’m a stupid girl,” you agree, your words punctuated by a series of tiny sobs and sniffles. Your walls feel sensitive, raw, from his thrusts. You’re ready to come, trembling hands slithering down to reach for your clit. 

“Don’t,” Jungkook warns, snatching your arm up and twisting it behind you. 

You cry, tears and drool against the rug. “I wanna come,” you whimper, trying your other hand only for it to meet a similar demise. “Please,” you sniffle, turning your face the other way as if the angle will somehow be different. 

“You don’t come until I say so,” Jungkook hisses, using his grip on your wrists to tug you onto his cock. You moan, choke on your own saliva from the force, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix for real this time. It renders you stupid, just like Jungkook had called you, chin trembling as your eyes roll backwards. Behind you, Jungkook grunts something deep and raspy. “Fffuck,” he spits, pistoning his hips into your inviting heat. “You were doing so good tonight—“ a particular brutal buck of his hips, a loud moan torn from your lips “—but first those fucking flowers and now this?”

The rhythm of his deep thrusts cut your moans into stuttered little cries, your words broken with every ram of his cock inside of you. Your walls feel worn, every brush sending a tingling shock up your spine. “I- I’m sorry,” you weep, shoulders shaking from your own tears and the rumbling orgasm that’s just about ready to snap. 

Jungkook says nothing, too busy shoving his cock inside of you to grace you with a response. Instead, you’re subjected to his relentless thrusts, sharp gasps from his pretty mouth. “Fuck,” he pants, releasing your wrists after one particular thrusts, your walls clenching around him painfully when he draws his cock out. 

“I can’t,” you sniffle, knees giving out before he can catch you, sadly sinking down onto the plush rug. “Kook, I—”

Jungkook makes a sound, something between a growl and a roar in the back of his throat as he follows behind you, planting two firm hands on the sides of your head to use as leverage to fuck himself in. With your thighs pressed flat together, the squeeze is tighter than ever before, and your eyes roll backwards as he gets to work, walls fluttering from the overstimulation. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he pants, all games thrown aside as he begins pounding his cock past your folds, deep into your contracting walls, until that tight spring in your stomach gives out and you’re clenching up beneath him, entire body going stiff for one long beat. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you weep, thighs quivering as you cream his cock, make his movements so slippery and wet, almost dangerous when he’s going this fast. His name falls from your trembling lips, every nickname and pet name you’ve ever given him mindlessly blubbered through your orgasm. Jungkook pays you no mind, thighs tensing up as he chases his high, short breaths and moans filling the space as he fucks himself into you. Until, finally, a few deep strokes later, he’s coming with a shuddered cry of your name on his tongue, collapsing over you, forehead pressed to your back as he catches his breath. 

“Fuck,” he groans one last time, body going slack very quickly. He slumps down beside you, softening cock slipping out of your tender folds. 

The floor between the coffee table and the couch is dark, the television glow not reaching down here. Even still, the sweat clinging to Jungkook makes him look like a sparkly Twilight vampire, the dip between his pecs collecting the smallest pool of sweat. You can’t stop yourself from running your pointer finger along the skin, over his nipple. His pec jumps deliciously under the attention. “Stop,” Jungkook sighs, catching your wrist in his, pressing his lips to your knuckles in an attempt to distract you. “Or I’ll really get you pregnant next time.”

You push yourself onto your elbows, pinching his doughy cheek. “You won’t,” you tease. Jungkook flicks his hair away from his eyes to level you with a look you’ve never seen before, not a trace of his usual post-sex playfulness to be found. It has you retracting your hand, eyes wide when he doesn’t stand down. Still, you can’t lose. “...No you won’t,” you repeat, quieter, almost unsure. Almost a question. 

Jungkook rolls his eyes, tugging you into his arms. He’s all sweaty and sticky, just like you. He’s lucky he doesn’t have four separate loads of cum— three from you, one from him —sticking between his thighs. “Keep telling yourself that,” he pants, so smoothly. Too smoothly. It makes you clench your thighs, something Jungkook doesn’t miss. “Stop it,” he warns a second time.

“You’re just so dreamy,” you whine, sitting back up to play with his hand. “Like, when you made me squirt?” He chuckles softly, eyes fluttering shut. “Not gonna lie, I thought I saw the answer to the universe for a second.” 

He’s worn out today, more than usual, that he doesn’t bother gracing you with a response. But it had been a long day for Jungkook; from planning an entire date, to the Seokjin debacle, to the crazy hot sex he’d gifted you. It was only reasonable. You reward his efforts with a soft peck against his cheek that makes him smile, a light blush painting his cheeks. “You did good today,” you hum, patting chest comfortingly. 

“Felt like I was in a Viki drama,” he confesses after a moment, has that tiny smile on his face that makes the apples of his cheeks especially round, especially cute. “The kind that have twelve plot lines going on.”

You laugh, snuggling beside him. The rug feels dirty, but so do you so the feeling is cancelled out or whatever. “You’d be the Park Seojoon of any Viki drama,” you tell him, and Jungkook laughs.

That loud and airy one he reserves only for you. 

epilogue

Namjoon calls Jungkook’s phone a little after eleven, talking your ear off about some date he’d gone on while Jungkook is in the shower. You tell him about what happened with Seokjin and like all respectable college mentors, he just about flips. “You can sue him,” Namjoon hisses, furious for you. Not that you aren’t anymore, but in a weird act of impulsiveness, Jungkook had gone outside and ran the stupid box of flowers over with his car as you watched from the open window of your apartment. It was weirdly cathartic. 

He’s in the shower now, humming the lyrics to one of the songs from Secretary Kim, a song called It’s You by Jeong Sewoon (thank you, Shazam), that makes every inch of your body overflow with adoration when he hits that long note. Anyway, you’re perusing the rest of the streaming service for a movie to watch. Jungkook said you couldn’t watch Train to Busan tonight, something about it ruining the mood. So now you’re debating between a historical romcom or a modern romcom. 

Over the line, Namjoon is doing all the raging for you. “Men are trash,” he huffs one last time, before eventually letting it go. (For now.) “Hey, do you know how to cover up hickeys?” he asks suddenly, just as Jungkook reappears in the living room. His skin is glowing, looking like the hottest man alive. The window is still open, a feeble attempt to air out the smell of sex in the room, and the draft makes Jungkook shiver because his hair is still a little wet. 

“Hickeys?” you repeat, stretching a hand out for him as he rounds the couch. Jungkook takes it, places a soft smooch against your knuckles, close to your promise ring. Your heartbeat stutters just as Namjoon hums. 

“Yeah, this girl,” he says, cutting himself off with a laugh. One you recognize all too well because it’s the same one you let out when you talk about Jungkook to other people. Said boy settles close beside you, leans his cheek against your head when you snuggle into his neck. As soon as he’s there, you lose all rights to the remote, watching as Jungkook completely disregards all your searching just to click back onto Secretary Kim. He had missed a whole episode. “We went a little crazy tonight—“ you gag at the image Namjoon places in your head “—and Doyeon bites kinda hard—“

“Doyeon?” you interrupt, all mental processes coming to an abrupt halt as the name bounces around your mind. Jungkook, having mastered the art of listening in on your phone calls by now, freezes beside you. “You know a Doyeon?” 

“Yeah!” Namjoon says excitedly as you sit up. Jungkook meets your gaze, big Bambi eyes giving the performance of a lifetime, and gives your this overly innocent shrug of his shoulders that tells you more about what he does know than what he doesn’t. “Kim Doyeon. She went to your school— actually, she graduated with you and Kook.”

The world comes to a complete stop as you glare at Jungkook, his panicked features cueing you in to the fact he was aware of this, as you’d suspected. “Namjoon,” you say slowly, fist tightening around Jungkook’s phone. “Are you aware you’re fucking my best friend?” 

There’s a long silence on the other end, Namjoon presumably processing the information while Jungkook tries to calm the boiling anger within you. “He didn’t know,” Jungkook whispers, big pretty eyes on you as he tries to save Namjoon from you. 

All his efforts are in vain when Namjoon clears his throat and so eloquently says, “and you’re fucking my best friend?”

epi-epilogue

The Best Buy employee doesn’t ask questions when you and Jungkook go in to get your cracked phone screens repaired. He does, however, give Jungkook an over-exuberant sales pitch on a brand new line of computer monitors that are almost as big as the television at your house. 

You try to save him from the dangerous hands of capitalism, but the Hello Kitty bandaids decorating your neck are itchy, the skin still so tender, so sometimes it’s wiser to let him waste his money than argue otherwise. 

“Good girl,” Jungkook says as he swings your arms back and forth on your walk to the car, impressed by the fact you didn’t argue with him in a Best Buy today. “My perceptions and understanding of you in my life make me happy,” he beams, too smiley as he unlocks the doors. 

“Shut up,” you glare, painfully tearing the stupid bandaids off your neck as soon as you get in, brandishing the blossoming hickeys Jungkook had so graciously given you last night. At the sight, he bites down a smile. “You’re about to perceive and understand these fists.” 

And Jungkook smiles— he always smiles —as he leans over the center console to press his mouth against the darkened skin at the front of your neck, mindlessly rubbing his thumb over your promise ring. “Perceive this love,” he says, so cheesy it makes you gag. 

“Goddd,” you groan, pushing him away before he can see the smile on your face. “Someone get this man a Viki deal.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x reader smut #bts jungkook #bts fic #bts smut #mine

[absolutebl]

MY TOP 10 BLS OF 2021

Criteria: BLs that ended in 2021, regardless of territory, platform, or length. Including those that started in 2020. This is separate from my normal BL ranking system and entirely a matter of personal taste.

I am a chronic re-watcher of shows. I love these not just because of story, acting, script, or quality but COMFORT. So I judge on how often I think I might rewatch to feed my soul. Also, I want a show that makes me smile more than cringe - pure emotional response. I like something that satisfies some BL tropes but is innovative or slightly unusual in its approach and story and I tend to prefer more fluffy fare.

So under those criteria these are

The 10 BLs That Won My Heart in 2021  

(in order)

Color Rush (Korea Viki) - a high school set BL with a unique paranormal twist that makes this a pitch-perfect allegory for the queer coming out experience and one of the best BLs of all time (I will fight you on this) 

We Best Love AKA We Best Love: No 1 for You & We Best Love: Fighting Mr 2nd (Taiwan) - the 1st season is a short run classic university set BL combining the best of Korea & Thailand’s modern takes on genre. The 2nd season moves into the office, and employs Japanese style in terms of setting, obsession, and mature concepts. WBL thus successfully managed to pick up and combine the best features of Korean, Thai, and Japanese BL right now. Couple that to the insane chemistry from the leads, and we have one of the best BLs of all time, cooking to a recipe I doubt anyone else will ever be able to replicate since only Taiwan is this flexible. 

To My Star (Korea Viki) - limited use of BL tropes makes this more of a sweet contemporary gay romance between an actor plagued by scandal and the grumpy chef who adopts him, but the gentleness appeals to fans of the BL genre 

Light On Me (Korea Viki) - Korea does a pitch perfect classic high school set BL with all tropes cleverly deployed to bolster one of the most riveting love triangles ever put on screen… and I don’t like love triangles! 

Utsukushii Kare AKA My Beautiful Man (Japan GaGa) - one of the best most Japanese BLs to release in the last decade. It used seriously old school yaoi derived problematic and kinky tropes, like whipping boy, for a truly classic piece that also manages to hit up themes of communication, consent, and self acceptance. It’s a wonderful BL but uniquely dirty and harsh, in the best possible way. 

Lovely Writer (Thailand YouTube) - somewhat requires understanding of Thai Bl as an industry to comprehend fully. It’s a bit sinister and self critical but classic yaoi-style dynamic, strong seme/uke and solid story. An excellent all-rounder. 

Be Love In House: I Do (Taiwan Viki) - A cute classy office set BL with a few plot raised eyebrows, but no other concerns, plus a general sweet softness that’s pretty rare from Taiwan.

A First Love Story (Korea YouTube) I KNOW a microfilm, I’m shocked too, this is from Strongberry though, so not that shocked 

1000 Stars AKA A Tale of Thousand Stars (Thailand YouTube) -a strong story concept that nods at BL tropes and elements but manages to elevate them and itself.  

See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan Viki) - Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys is just as charming and adorable and still quintessentially Taiwanese as one might hope. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. The two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. Honestly how does Taiwan do it? 

Honorable mention: Favorite tangential to BL? Absolute BL (Japan). And the BL subplot of MarkOuWen on Love is Science?

Last year, 2020′s favorites.

And now we see why I have a Viki subscription. 

(source)

#top 10 bls 2021 #top picks of 2021 #my favorite bls #top bls 2021 #top 10 list #asian bl #thai bl #korean bl #taiwanese bl #Color Rush #We Best Love: No.1 For You #We Best Love: Fighting Mr.2nd #To My Star #Light On Me #Utsukushii Kare #my beautiful man #japanese bl #adapted from a manga #live action yaoi #Lovely Writer #Be Loved In House I Do #A First Love Story #Strongberry #1000 Stars #A Tale of Thousand Stars #See You After Quarantine?

[littlemissnoname13]

Wisps of Smoke (Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader) - Part four

Summary: Y/n and Draco find themselves drawn to an abandoned classroom every night

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin!Reader ft. Pansy Parkinson, Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini

Warnings: Excessive smoking, Drinking, mature language and themes, sex, masturbation, 18+ content, reader discretion is highly advised

A/n: as always, thank you for reading WOS. This story has gotten so close to my heart over the last few weeks of writing it and I am grateful for every one that read part 1,2,3. And to everyone who guessed the Astoria plot line, Damn ya’ll are too good! 

I’d like to stress that smoking is injurious to health.

Word count: almost 4000

Part One, two & three if you haven’t caught up already

Thursday (Continued)

With his palms resting flat on the shower wall and his grey eyes fixed on the floor below, Draco allowed the lukewarm water to trail down his body and calm his nerves. 

Between the restlessness he’d felt after his father’s visit and the stinging feeling of remembering just what was expected of him, he’d barely managed to sleep a wink for three consecutive nights.

And how could he have gone to sleep when he knew you were in that classroom—waiting for him in your silky little dress. 

Oh..wait a minute. 

He smirked to himself when he remembered that he had destroyed the top half of your dress in an attempt to tug it off your shoulders. 

You looked absolutely stunning with the bottom half of your dress pushed back as you spread your legs wide open on top of a classroom desk—he had fucked you so fucking hard that day. 

Draco wrapped his hand around his length and began to pump slowly as he recalled the way you wrapped your legs around his torso as he moved in and out of you.

Your moans. 

He wondered if you were even aware of the effect your moans had on him. 

The way his name slipped out of your cherry lips and the way your tits bounced with every thrust only made him want to drive deeper into you. 

He let out a sharp grunt as he started to pump harder, fantasising about all the places he’d fuck you in.

He’d press you up against the shower wall and push himself deep into your cunt from behind, he’d lay you down on his desk and eat you out till you were a quivering mess before driving in and out of you, he would bend you over one of the common room sofas and fuck you so hard and fast if he ever got the chance to. 

He’d make you cum time and again till you were sore and dripping with his release—fuck. 

Draco let his high take all over him for a brief moment before opening his eyes when he heard his dresser drawer creak. 

He dismissed the strange sound and washed the remaining soap from his body before stepping out and towel drying his hair. 

“Draco! Y/n is here to see you.”  

Astoria? What on earth is she doing here? This can’t be good.

He frantically wrapped the towel around his torso and stepped outside the bathroom.

“Y/n what are you doing here?” He asked, observing the eye bags under your eyes. You were wearing a loose fitted white shirt with the sleeves pushed back and the top two buttons undone.

If Astoria wasn’t gaping at the exchange between the two of you, he would have had you pinned against the wall already. 

“I—I Just—” you began but before you could reach the end of your sentence, Theo jogged up to his door and stood right next to you, panting.

“Oh, you’re all here.Good.” He said with excitement saturated into his voice. “Apparently, there’s a party this Saturday night in the room of requirement and we are going—I am not taking no for an answer.” 

“That sounds like so much fun.” Astoria grinned and looked at Draco expectantly,making your stomach twist.

“It’s not like we have a choice.” Draco muttered still looking at you while Astoria beamed at him. 

“So, Y/n you were saying something?” Astoria politely turning the conversation back to you.

“I actually just came in here to talk about the party too.” You lied looking Draco directly in the eye.

Friday

Even though you were walking to class while bumping into a sea of students, your head was somewhere else. 

But of course Malfoy was sleeping around with other girls!

How could you have forgotten?! Maybe he was shagging Astoria outside that classroom the other nig—

“Going somewhere?” Draco asked as soon as he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you into a gap in the corridor. 

“Yes, Away from you!” You spat angrily. “And I don’t appreciate you lurking around, pushing me into a wall every chance you get.”

“I just needed to talk to you y/l/n.”

“About what? Your girlfriend?” You blurted, instantly regretting your decision.

“She is not my girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah? Then what is she?!” 

What you heard next made the ground crumble from beneath you and you couldn’t help but wish you had paid more attention to your mother’s letters—especially the one about the announcement at the New year’s ball. 

~~~~~~~⚜️~~~~~~

Dear Y/n,

Your father and I are looking forward to having you back home for Christmas. 

It will give us some quiet family time before the New Year’s Ball hosted by the Malfoys. I’ve heard it through the grapevine that young Malfoy is getting betrothed to one of the Greengrass sisters and they will officially be announcing the betrothal that night. 

Isn’t that absolutely fantastic?  

Let me know what sort of dress robe you’d like to wear to the Ball this year. I will make necessary arrangements. 

Send my regards to Adrian. 

Love,

Mum

~~~~~~~⚜️~~~~~~~

Saturday

Vodka always tasted unpleasant to say the least. In fact, it burned. 

But it burned a lot less than the burn you felt watching Astoria reclining against Draco across the room.

Vodka always gave the worst type of hangover and with every gulp, you knew you were on a steady path to a regretful morning after. 

But the morning after drowning yourself in unadulterated vodka shots was better than watching the soon to be Fiancé of the boy you were slowly harbouring feelings for wear his blazer on top of her silver sequinned dress. 

What kind of a deranged person gets jealous over someone that was never theirs to begin with?

You forced yourself to tear your eyes away from the ridiculously attractive blonde boy dressed in all back, knocked back a few shots and happily accepted Pansy’s hand as she pulled you to the dance floor. 

One minute you were jumping around with Pansy, Blaise and Theo and the next minute, you were seeing nothing but pitch black darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Firm arms gripped your waist as you staggered back to your room after blacking out at the party. In all honesty, the person walking you wasn’t much help either with his bloodshot eyes and unsteady footsteps. 

“You— you shouldn’t have walked me to my room.” 

“I know.” Draco said simply as he watched you walk shakily up to your door.

“Go back to the party Draco.” You said with your voice wavering as he slowly inched closer and closer to you till you were firmly pressed against the door. “You know you shouldn’t be here right now.”

“I know.” He said once again before pressing his own Firewhisky laced lips with yours. “I know.” 

Maybe it was the intoxication, maybe it was the way he held firmly onto your waist as his tongue collided with your own but you used your wand to unlock your door with your mouth still attached to his. 

Both of you entered the room bumping into furniture, leaving a trail of clothes all the way to your bed.

Sunday

“What is happening to this world again? Can someone please walk me through?— I am simply too hungover right now.” Pansy groaned, scratching her head as he opened the door to your shared dorm with Theo and Blaise right behind her. 

Having partied all night long, all three of them were too tired to make sense of the scene in front of them. 

“Yeah, I thought Malfoy was with Astoria now.” Theo scratched his chin at the sight of your head on Draco’s chest as you both slept. 

Pansy’s eyes widened when she heard Astoria’s name as she quickly ran inside the room. 

“Wake the fuck up you idiots.” She yelled using her wand to draw away the curtains making Draco groan as the morning light hit his eyes. 

“What’s all this ruckus about.” You mumbled snuggling closer to Draco as your eyes slowly opened to see a glaring pansy accompanied by Theo and Blaise. 

“I have invited Astoria up here to hang out with us, so both of you have a lot of explaining to do before she gets here.”

Monday

“So let me get this straight.” Theo began, as he took a long drag from one of Draco’s cigarettes. “Both of you have been fucking around—traumatising poor Blaise for the last two weeks, correct?”

Draco rolled his eyes, scoffing as he lit up another cigarette while you shrugged. 

The four of you were at the astronomy tower, reclining against the railings as the day faded away into a chilly winter evening. 

“And you two claim that you are not together, correct?”

At this, both you and Draco turned to look at each other—as if questioning each other about the status of your relationship. 

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” You finally said, slowly breaking eye contact with Draco. “He is getting betrothed to Astoria anyway.”

“And you’re okay with this?” Pansy asked, her face barely visible from all the smoke she was exhaling. 

“Never been better.” You lied, reaching for a cigarette for yourself. You placed the filter end in between your lips and lit it up, inhaling quickly. 

The second you did, tears automatically started to stream from your eyes as you started to cough. 

Draco shook his head and turned to you. 

“Here.” He muttered taking a step towards you, before taking a deep drag from the cancer stick in between his fingers. 

With his free hand raked inside your hair, he pulled your face closer to his until his lips were barely touching yours.

“Inhale y/n.” He murmured, as wisps of smoke left his lips and entered yours. 

You were too preoccupied by his proximity to notice the gagging sounds your friends were making beside you. 

Tuesday

On your way to the library after class, you heard the voice of Lucius Malfoy right outside the dungeons. 

He was going on and on about a ring and how irresponsible Draco was for not getting one made already. Christmas holidays were nearing and Lucius was sure Draco would tarnish the Malfoy family name by not having a ring made on time.

You simply didn’t understand why the Malfoy’s couldn't just use an old family heirloom but you decided to not question it as you walked past them—watching the tired and defeated expression on Draco’s face.

Wednesday

Draco lay on his bed, fiddling with an oval cut emerald ring with the letter “M” engraved on the back of it. The ring had been with the Malfoy women for generations and he simply could not picture the ring on Astoria’s fingers. 

And even though he had no say on his betrothal, he wanted to have a say on the ring and so he had insisted on getting something else made for Astoria. 

But the last two weeks had gone by in a matter of seconds so he did not find the time to, and could not even be bothered to go and have another ring made.

He had known about his impending engagement since the beginning of the year. He’d taken Astoria out several times but he knew there was nothing to that relationship besides sex and chaste kisses on the cheeks exchanged during family dinners.

He didn’t really mind at first, everything felt fine and he simply craved the validation of his father. 

Draco was doing just fine before you came along. 

Sure, life was a little lacklustre. The sky wasn’t as azure, his morning coffee wasn’t as aromatic, and cigarettes were simply means of deteriorating his lungs.

But now, things had shifted a little. 

He felt happier than he had felt in a really long time.

Just as he was opening up his drawer to put away the family heirloom, you knocked on his door—looking breathless. 

“I’m sorry but I overheard your conversation with your father and I think I might be able to help.”

“Huh?” Draco asked, tilting his head,watching you as you grabbed his left hand and dropped a shiny Amethyst ring in the palm of his hands. 

“I had it made for my birthday last month.” You shrugged, it’ll help you keep your father off your back till you get another made.”

If he hadn't fallen in love with you already, he surely did in that particular moment, as he pulled you into his arms, desperately crashing his lips on top of yours. 

Fuck validation. 

Fuck everything. 

Fuck everyone. 

Thursday

Your back firmly pressed against his bare chest—his heart beat calm and steady. 

Draco had his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he possessively pulled you closer to him the way he always did. 

That is how you had woken up. 

Cuddled up with him in his incredibly snug and comfortable bed within four walls enclosed with the smell of bourbon, mixed with the smell of soap, sex and his absurdly expensive cigarettes. 

Even with your eyes still shut, your lips couldn’t help but curve upwards when you felt his breathing gently tickle the back of your neck. 

That is how you had woken up that morning and you honestly wouldn’t mind waking up like that for the mornings to come. 

“Morning Y/l/n.” 

His raspy and deep morning voice sent shivers down your spine as his soft lips came in contact with the spot right below your ears. 

“Morning.” 

He continued to sensually suckle and nibble that particular spot and you suddenly found yourself wanting to be suckled and nibbled on other places. 

“Draco.” You hummed pushing yourself further into his embrace. There was something so fulfilling and satisfying about the way you fit into each other's embraces. Entangled arms, limbs and all. 

The hands that were wrapped securely around your waist now trailed upwards until they found your breasts. 

The feel of his hands taking their own sweet time—softly kneading your sensitive flesh was enough to have you writhing against him 

He made sure to take his time and give equal attention to both your breasts, using his slender fingers to pinch and tug at your hardened buds till you were pushing your hips further back towards him—craving friction, any type of friction really. 

“Easy now.” He lazily whispered into your ear as you started to grind your hips urgently against his erection aching to feel him inside of you again. 

You were empty and missed the feeling of being full but he was nowhere near done with worshiping your breasts—making you restless and impatient with each squeeze. 

“Draco.” You tilted your head backwards and sighed into his neck.“I—I need you to fuck me. Please—I just want to feel you inside me.” 

Draco let out a small chuckle at the directness of your words.

If someone had told him that the same girl that tried to hex him so many times in the past would be saying that to him, he would have told them to get themselves checked at st. Mungos. 

“Relax Darling. I’ll take take of you.” He murmured before trailing his lips down your neck and towards your shoulder placing mellow and relaxed kisses all the way. 

“Draco please.” You whined, grinding your hips harder—desperate tears threatening to leak out of your eyes when you felt his hand on your hip, slowing you down. 

“That’s it. Such a good girl.” He whispered encouragingly into your ear as you let his hands guide you—moving your hips in excruciatingly slow circles against him while he resumed kissing your neck and bare shoulders. 

“Atta girl. Yes that’s it. Keep doing that.” 

His kisses were a stark contrast to his lustful, ravenous and angry kisses from the previous night and the kisses only left you craving even more.

“Please Draco—Fuck me. Please just fuck me.” 

“Look at you, begging for it.” He said in a hoarse whisper as the tip of his cock made contact with your already soaking wet folds and all you could do was let out a muffled moan into your pillow. 

The tip of his cock only slipped halfway inside of you before he pulled out again, teasing.

“You’re dripping wet.” 

“Draco..” you whined.

“Tell me darling, who made your pussy this wet?” 

“You did. Draco Lucius Malfoy—Only you.” 

He loved hearing you beg, he loved it only second to the way you said moaned his name and so he finally entered you allowing his cock to completely stretch you out and fill you up. 

With his perfect teeth bared, Draco peppered kisses onto your shoulders, nibbling gently as he rocked his hips at a slow but steady pace—all the while mumbling sweet nothings into your skin about how well you took him, and how good he felt being inside of you.

The way his skilled hands tugged, twisted and pinched your nipples made you feel an other worldly sort of pleasure—causing you to whimper and moan his name,moving your own hips, trying to feel him deeper inside your walls.

“Shhhh—easy there.” He whispered against your neck. “Just let go.. Focus on feeling every inch of me buried deep inside your pretty little cunt. Can you do that for me?” 

You nodded and stopped moving your hips and used  one of your arms to hold onto his neck as you relaxed into him. 

“That’s it y/n, Just like that.” He coaxed, running his hand up and down your body before firmly resting on your hip as he fucked you nice and slow. 

There was something different and unexpected about his thrusts, something strange and foreign about the way he used his thumb to rub slow and sensual circles on your clit.

“You feel so good y/n. Your pussy feels so amazing.” 

Your moans muddled into one and his movements rocked the bed as he made love to you, pushing you closer and closer towards your orgasm. 

“Fuck—Im so close.” You moaned, burying your head deep into the pillow as Draco picked up his pace pushing his cock in harder and deeper with each thrust. 

“Oh fuck. yes Draco..yes.” You moaned as he dug his nails onto your hips forming crescent shaped indentations as he pushed himself deeper, hitting just the right spot over and over again, making your walls clench up. 

“Draco…” 

“Cum for me, Angel. Cum with me.” He groaned,making both of you ride out our highs till his warm seed spurted deep inside of you. 

When he pulled out of you, some of the warm liquid had already managed to seep out of you and trickle down your inner thigh.  

After taking a brief second to catch his breath, Draco shifted lower into the bed till he was in just in between your legs. 

“I could get used to waking up like this.” He smirked looking up at you. His platinum blonde hair was slightly wavy and kind of fluffy, falling on his forehead but not yet covering his stormy greys. 

“Like what?” You teased. 

“Don't play with me y/l.n.” He warned with a wicked gleam making the grey hues in his eyes brighten into a brilliant. It felt like his eyes changed colors from blue to grey according to his moods. 

“I could get used to waking up like this too.” You said softly as he tried to push back everything that had managed to trickle out. 

Right before Draco could even reply, his door creaked open. 

“Malfoy, Astoria is waiting for you in the common roo—fuck not this again.” Blaise groaned as you pulled the sheets over your body. 

Friday

On your last evening at school before Christmas break, you found yourself perched on the windosill, nestled in between Draco’s arms and limbs in the classroom that started it all.

The pad of his right thumb traced slow, almost lazy circles on your hand while he held his cigarette in his left hand. 

The lit tip of his cigarette was the same shade as the sunset in the tangerine sky and you took deep breaths to try and soak him and the smoke rings that escaped his lips up because you weren't sure if you’d get to be with him again. 

“What are you doing y/l/n?” He asked when he noticed you breathing in and out. 

“Nothing.” 

“Please.” Draco chuckled, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “You have that look on your face.”

“What look?” you asked, turning your head to look at him—the way the last rays of the setting sun caught up on his eyelashes only making you fall harder than you already had.

“This look y/n.” He kinked his eyebrows and tried to mimic your expression. “This is the look you have on your face wherever you are up to something—like  when you try and fix your failed potion in Potions class. Actually, you even make this face when you mix sugar into your tea.” 

“Im just—” You clicked your tongue in frustration. “I’m just going to miss this, I guess.” 

Your words made his expressions soften because he understood. 

How could he have not?

He had spent the whole of last night watching you sleep—the way your chest was rising and falling, the way your heart was beating against his.

He had spent the last hour trying to store the scent of your fruity shampoo deep inside his memory banks because he wasn’t sure if there would be a next time. 

“Let’s stay back at Hogwarts”  He mumbled, pulling you closer to him. “It’ll just be us, it will be good.”

“If only.” You sighed as you rested the back of your head at the crook of his neck. “But I have to go back home and explain the whole situation with Adrian and you…” 

Both of you went silent for a bit. 

“Give me your hand y/n.” He finally broke the silence as you turned around and  looked at him quizzically. “I want to give you something.”

You turned your body around so you could face him better. The strong winter breeze blew his hair towards his eyes, making you want to reach up and push those stray hairs away. Instead, you simply placed your hand on his. 

“Close your eyes.” 

You rolled my eyes at him before squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Are they closed?” 

You nodded and you felt him slip something onto your finger and you quickly  opened one eye to take a peek and It didn't even take you a second to realize he had slipped an emerald ring from onto your finger.

“Draco. I really don’t think this is a good idea.” 

“I thought I told you to keep your eyes shut.” He snapped. 

“But I can’t take this.” 

“I owed you a ring y/n.” He said holding your hand in his to look at the ring on your finger making a type of warmth spread over your entire body. “Keep it till I get the other ring made.” 

You simply stared at the ring unable to form words with your mouth until you felt him shift beside you as he got back up to his feet. 

“Don’t overthink it y/n—I’ll see you at the ball.” 

You hummed as you quietly watched him walk away from you, ignoring the stab your felt in your heart with every step he took. But before you could process your emotions fully, Draco turned on his heel and walked towards you— instantly cupping your face in his hands. 

“Draco what are-”

His lips ardently crushed yours before you could even finish your sentence

There was an abrupt kind of finality in the way he moved his lips against yours. It was like he was kissing you for the last time . 

“I’ll be thinking of you y/l/n.” 

To be continued..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 5 teaser:

Draco’s features softened as he slowly shifted and got up from the reading nook in his bedroom to fully open his window.

You shielded yourself as cold drops of rain started to hit your face. “What in the actual fuck?”

“Shut up and follow me.” He said as he climbed out of the window and onto the ledge.

“Are you mental?”

“Just do as I say.” He said helping you onto the ledge.

Both of you laughed hysterically as the rain seeped through our clothes as you sat on the ledge with you bare feet dangling in the air.

One wrong move and both of you could fall to your respective deaths. But there came an adrenaline rush with the risk of it all.

___________________________

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Love,

V

#harry potter #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #slytherin #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco smut #draco x reader smut #draco x y/n #draco x slytherin!reader #draco malfoy smut

[autisticcassandracain]

Black Manta backstories (that I have encountered so far, no guarantees there aren’t any others) ranked by how much I personally like them:

4. The ‘Kidnapped by Pirates’ Backstory

Probably the first attempt at humanizing Black Manta, and it shows lmao. I appreciate the effort, but it just doesn’t work very well. Him getting angry at the sea during his time with the pirates makes a reasonable amount of sense, in that humans are prone to latching onto things in both hope and anger when in a situation they can’t control, but him then dedicating his life to hunting down this one specific dude he decided embodied the sea is more than a few steps too far. Furthermore, it just doesn’t add anything to his character. Like alright, I guess he isn’t evil for the sake of being evil anymore, but this tragic backstory doesn’t reframe any of his actions in a new light, nor does it inform any of his decisions going forward. It’s entirely unsurprising this didn’t stick.

3. Aquaman: Deep Dives Dead Mom Variant

Technically not an ENTIRELY different backstory, but I’m gonna count it. In this version of his post-flashpoint backstory, his dad and mom separated, and his mom lived out her life on land with another man. The difference between this backstory and the one written by Higgins is minor, but significant. This backstory is used to frame Black Manta as greedy and selfish, choosing a life of adventure and riches over his mom, and it’s implied this was the case for his dad as well. I don’t think this interpretation of him fits very well with the new backstory he got in the N52/Rebirth, but I suppose it’s a matter of personal taste. 

2. You Killed My Father, Prepare To Die

LOVE THIS IT’S THE HIGHT OF LITERATURE POETIC CINEMA. Can (and will) write an entire separate post about it, but I think there’s a reason this is the only backstory that multiple writers have actually engaged with. It reframes the Aquaman/Black Manta conflict in a unique way, while providing ample opportunity for interesting commentary on the concept of vengeance. Higgins specifically, I think, did a fantastic job with expanding on it. This backstory, and particularly Higgins’ expansion on it, successfully casts Black Manta’s actions in a new light, actually making him a complex character for the first time in, well, forever. 

1. Weird Fucking Autism Backstory

Objectively the worst. It makes absolutely no sense! The connections between this backstory and his current actions are tenuous at best; unlike the post-flashpoint backstory, or even the pirate backstory, there is no real reason for Black Manta to hunt Aquaman specifically, beyond vague implications about him liking the sea while also being abused. In fact, this backstory is so disconnected from his current actions, it makes you wonder why he’s even an Aquaman rogue to begin with, when being a Batman rogue would make INFINITELY more sense with this backstory. It’s also horrifically ableist, and with the ‘bait and switch’ at the end of the arc (that everyone and their mom saw coming I’m sure) revealing that it wasn’t the autism that made him evil, but that he was just evil by nature, you have to wonder why they even bothered. It doesn’t reframe anything, and it doesn’t cast him in a more sympathetic light, so was all that really just meant as a red herring for a plot twist anyone could see coming from a mile away? Weak.

That said I’m autistic and I think it’s funny as fuck, and also this backstory makes him the only prominent canon autistic character in DC, so I’m gonna be obnoxious about it until further notice.

#black manta #my posts

[saiki-k-innie]

Your boyfriend, Denki Kaminari, is the UA traitor

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Anime: My Hero Academia Character(s): Denki Kaminari Legend (y/n = your name): gender neutral reader, quirk not mentioned, y/n is a gamer (not a major plot point) Word Count: 2.1k Warnings: (very) minor angst, invasion of privacy Notes: I wrote this while listening to (this) playlist, originally in the comment section of the video. I decided to refine it and post it here, because why not?

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

 when you first found out, you were devastated.

Denki? Your little Pikachu? The UA traitor? preposterous. it was almost laughable. almost. 

 You were chilling in his room, playing on his PlayStation while he was out training with Kirishima and some others when you discovered his secret.

 It was pretty common to see you in his room without him or vice versa. You two completely trusted each other with everything. There was nothing to hide from each other, or so you thought. 

 When you were about to claim a win in Overwatch, (you were KILLING IT as Widowmaker), Denki's monitor went black. No response from the controller or the console. Sighing, you pushed yourself back in his chair and ducked your head under the desk. 

"oh my god" you breathed as you laid eyes on the rat's nest of wires tangled beneath his desk. It was absolutely insane. You couldn't tell one cable from another in the gordian knot of cords. You quickly identified the problem (the plug for the PlayStation had come loose) and fixed it. You cringed at the loss of your game progress but you had another problem at hand. 

 You powered off all of his consoles and settled down to solve the tangle of cables. Laughing, you didn't know why you expected anything more of Denki. He was so lucky that you loved solving puzzles, and knots were your specialty.

 Looking closer, you saw that he had taken the wall socket apart and messed around with it to accommodate his quirk and gamer lifestyle. You were surprised that it hadn't started a fire, but decided not to mess with that because you were genuinely afraid of what would happen if you grabbed the wrong cable. 

 After a bit of untangling, you finally had the cords separated. You identified and tagged all of the cords at the speed of a professional, but one cord that ran straight into the wall remained. You couldn't find what it plugged into or where it went, and it was driving you crazy. 

Temporarily abandoning your original task, you swiftly ran your nimble fingers along the mystery cable. It snaked along the base of Denki's desk into the back of one of his drawers through a clearly handmade hole. You wondered why this cable was so concealed while the rest were once so tangled and what it led to. 

 Extracting yourself from under Denki's desk, you took a deep breath and stretched our your back. You easily identified the drawer it was supposed to go to and opened it up. The drawer was surprisingly organized, containing game cases for games that you hadn't seen him play before, but you definitely recognized the titles. There was still no sign of what the cable led to. 

You weren't going to give up so soon, though. If he thought this would satisfy your curiosity, he was dead wrong. Smirking at the feeble deterrent, you promptly removed all of the cases to see what they were covering up. 

 "Huh," you vocalized as you stared at the empty drawer. Something wasn't adding up. Peering at the back of the drawer, you could see the cable lead... underneath the drawer? No, you were sure that it was this drawer. 

Inspecting the drawer carefully, you realized that the depth of the drawer didn't match the depth of the space allotted for it. You were starting to get excited. Remembering what Light did to hide his Death Note, you realized that the bottom of the drawer was probably a fake. Smiling fondly, you remembered how Death Note was the first anime you two watched together.

 Ducking your head under the drawer, you saw the hole for the ink cartridge from a ballpoint pen that would reveal the secrets. You shook your head. How did Denki think he could hide something from his weeb s/o??? You swiftly disassembled a pen and poked it into the hole.

 Success! the faux bottom popped up. 

Nearly vibrating from the excitement of discovery, you carefully removed the thin wooden facade from the drawer. 

 What- What is this? There were several circuits and wires winding around the drawer, all carefully placed and put together so they covered the bottom of the drawer snugly. You saw a button, a switchboard, a headphone jack, and what looked like a place for a cd to sit in the area closest to you. The switchboard had three buttons labeled "play" "pause" and "record". The button off of the switchboard had no label, but it was significantly bigger than the others, so it had to have some significance. 

 The excitement slid off of your face and was replaced with a look of pure confusion and disappointment. You didn't know what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't this.

 Well, the puzzle certainly got a lot more complex but that wasn't going to stop you either. You stared at the labyrinth of lines and wires, like little highways connecting on the circuits and different components. You had completely forgotten your original objective of cable management. 

 Thinking for a second, you picked up one of the game cases that you took out of the drawer.  The title read "Halo 3: ODST". Popping it open with the finesse of a pro gamer, you peeked inside, expecting to see the matching blue disk, but instead saw a grey cd with "021" scribbled on it in Denki's signature scrawl. 

Shifting your weight onto your knees, you plugged your headphones into the audio jack. You pried the disk from the case and set it down in the drawer and pressed "play". 

Your ears were assaulted with a series of beeps and you instinctively ripped your headphones from your ears. What was this??? After calming down, you sighed and carefully put your headphones back on. The beeping continued, and you realized that it was in a specific pattern. You identified it easily as morse code, and you remembered that Denki had taught you it a while back, just in case you had to communicate non-verbally. You used it to share answers on tests and talk in class more than anything, and sometimes to communicate during training. Jirou was the only other person who knew morse code in class 1-A, but you seriously doubted that she knew about this. 

 You pressed "pause" and removed the disk from the tray. You grabbed a notepad and reassembled the pen that you had dissected to reveal the bottom of the drawer. Sitting back down, you put the CD back into the tray and played it from the beginning. 

Focusing completely, you wrote down the corresponding words to the rapid beeps. After about two minutes, the high-pitched beeps ceased completely. You put down your pen and read the message you had translated. 

 "Monochrome to Sparks. Bi-weekly report for week 11. Recruit for new members has proved successful. Two new villains by the names “Toga” and “Dabi” have joined us. We are still planning for the next attack on UA. Void has used intel for the specific layout of UA to detect weak points in the mainframe successfully. Crusty has suggested that we wait for the current term to finish to make our next move. We may be able to kidnap students of choice if they end up going on a training trip. That is all. Please send your reply at the usual time. Over." 

 Your jaw went slack. What- what is this? You shakily took the cd out of the drawer and replaced it. You opened up the other game cases that you had removed. They also contained grey disks, some labeled and some blank. 

You placed the labeled ones in numerical order and listened to them one by one. The notepad was filled with all of the messages from months of corrospondence. Some had pre-dated the dorm system, so you figured that Denki converted their format to match the ones that were recorded after moving into the dorms to disguise the timeline. 

Looking over your work, the puzzle pieces all fell into place. Denki had been working with the LOV for months, even before he came to UA. He had tricked you and your classmates into thinking that he was training to become the next generation of heroes with his charm and jokes. It all made sense, in a twisted way. Who would be better to be the traiter than him? To stupid in school to seem like he could pull it off, but insanely smart outside of the classroom. Was his academic shortcomings a fake too? No, you had sat there with him for hours trying to help him understand logarithms to no avail. He couldn’t of faked the tears of frustration he had before you agreed to go taste all of the flavors of Monster Energy and rank them instead of studying for midterms. 

No matter what he had been planning, he still was your boyfriend. He was still your little static boy. Right?

You read over all of the messages over and over until your eyes blurred from tears. You put everything back and silently organized the cables you had pulled out. Shaking, you sat on his bed, clutching the notepad in your hands, waiting for Denki to come back.

After what seemed like forever, you heard his footsteps in the hallway.

When Denki walked in, you could tell he was exhausted. 

You put down the notepad and held out your arms to him. He collapsed into you and exhaled, clearly wiped from training. You love him so much it hurts. He means the world to you, and you would do anything for him without hesitation. You solemnly made up your mind.

 "Denki..." you started, rubbing his hair. "Mmmmph" he replied, noise muffled by your body. When you didn't respond, he sat up and faced you, rubbing his eyes. 

You smiled sadly at him. 

"What is it, my little spark?" he asked, his tone strained with worry. 

 You sighed and handed him the notebook with the messages written on them. 

You watched his expression shift from confusion, to horror, to fear, to resignation. He didn't make it through all of the messages. He knew you would find this one day. He had made it so only you would know.

 His gaze slowly panned over to the cords under his desk. When he saw that they were neatly organized, he sighed and put down the notebook. "y/n... let me explain... I understand if you turn me in. I understand if you never want to speak to me again. I understand if-" his voice broke and his eyes welled up with tears. 

 It hurt you so badly to see him like this. You looked over his beautiful face, distorted from the tears in your own eyes. 

"Denki, when were you planning to tell me?" You felt so hurt that he kept this from you, but you knew why. How could he tell you? You both were training to be heroes. How was he supposed to tell you that you were part of the League of Villians?

 "I- it all happened so fast, and I wasn't supposed to make friends, let alone be in a relationship. The shit hit the fan so quickly that it felt impossible to tell you. When we moved into dorms because of the LOV attack, I knew that I would have to tell you eventually. I set it up so we would know how to communicate in morse code so that you and only you would be able to find the communicator, and so that you would feel comfortable in my room. I just- I just hoped that maybe you would never find out." As he spoke, he moved his hands around feebly, just to let them rest on his lap. 

 You listened to him in silence. When he was done, you gazed into his honey-colored eyes that were trained dutifully on his bedspread and smiled. "I would burn down the world for you, Pikachu. I wish you would've trusted me with this sooner." You laughed and shook your head. "You are more important to me than you could ever imagine. If you are the UA traitor, if you are part of the League of Villians, so be it. I will shake hands with the devil if it means I will be by your side." 

 His blonde head snapped to attention. “Y/n...?” He looked at you quizically. This... didn’t sound like you. He knew that you were determined beyond measure to become a hero, and he didn’t expect you to be swayed so easily. 

 "Please, please, please don't hide anything else from me. I will always be on your side. Don't ever forget that, okay sparky?" 

 He looked at you, surprised that you weren't telling Aizawa about him at this moment, not that he would stop you. "Okay, my little spark."

 "I love you" 

 "I love you too"

“... do you want to play a video game?”

“you know I do.”

“okay.”

“Hey y/n?”

“yes Denki?”

“let’s burn down the world together”

#mha #bnha #mha fanfiction #mha fanfic #my hero academia fanfic #bocu no hero academia #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #mha imagines #mha x reader #my hero academia #denki kaminari #denki kaminari x reader #denki x reader #bnha x you

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (2/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

For now, nothing to complain about! We got Nya, we got MAYA AND RAY, we got GILES PANTON BACK A LEGO SHOW!!! 😍😍😍

Of course now I'm definitely curious about what the story is really about, like I'm guessing Wojira will wake up at some point so... Great Devourer all over again maybe? 😅 Idk, for now I just wanna enjoy Nya having her moment 🥳

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

New alert for reader, during the Nexo Knights period I was and still am the hugest Clay fan. Now that his voice is in this season I might scream more than necessary... keep that in mind 😅

I love the humor in this, all random but still kinda clever 😂😂 Maybe I'm biased because I love Jay but still 🤷‍♀️

I really like the design of the marine world, very cool!! 🌊🌊🌊

I guess I'm not really seeing any big plot twist moment for now? Ninjago seasons have history of basing seasons on a "we need to prevent this event from happening but it will happen anyway", so I can see Wojira waking up no matter what 🤷‍♀️

I wonder if that will be shocking? Usually when this situation happen, someone makes a major sacrifice (Zane with the Overlord, sensei Garmaron with Chen, again sensei G with the Preeminent...). Maybe Maya? I DON'T WANT THAT 😭 But I am curious, everything is going nicely and I'm not sure what it will bring! 🤩 I'M EXCITED SO LET'S GO!!!

THE WRATH OF KALMAAR

So this is the name of Clay's new incarnation, neat! 👍

Okay really, for having a season lately the main character just can't help but be trapped by the villain: kinda Zane in the ICE Chapter, Jay in Prime Empire, Cole in Master of the Mountain... we can call it a tradition at this point 🤷‍♀️

Giant serpent, yadda yadda, I wonder if we're gonna address the Great Devourer at some point? Not mandatory, but the reference would be very cool 🤩

Clay's new incarnation is a prince I- *hyperventilates in awe*

Nya playing dumb lol, I don't know if that's personal experience as she used to get kidnapped a lot in the past or she just have too many idiots in her life 😂

ALSO ANOTHER BEST GIRL'S SMIRK

NYA YOU'RE TOO MUCH ILY ❤💙❤💙

Jay I love that you're so worried about Nya but maybe try NOT TO DIE? YOU'RE WITH LLOYD AND ZANE YET YOU'RE THE ONE GOING FOR THE SACRIFICE WTH?? 😱 But he's worried about his cool GF I kinda get it, also he didn't do it so good...

WHAT. THE. HECK.

WHO ARE YOU OH MY FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER YOU'RE ADORABLE I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU YOU ABSOLUTE CUTIE 🤩🤩🤩

So Giles is doomed to voice LEGO characters with daddy issues 😂 That being not having a dad at all or having one that is... a good guy? Idk he seems chill with the surface at first glance, I wonder what's the story of this family

Maya reminds of my mom, she also mentions her work a lot and I study the same thing. But she doesn't want to brag, it gets annoying but she just wants to give me advice. It's nice to see actually 👍 Also Ray reference NEAT ❤❤❤

Wow, if any child-parent couple of this show was doomed at going semi Emperor's New Groove style, I would've bet on Ed and Jay honestly 😅

Oh HECK yes I knew that with my water girls things were BOUND to get cool 😎 ... yeah I know where the door is *goes away*

JAY NO WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TRYING TO DIE STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! 😱😱😱

My GOSH that scared the crap out of me 😅 Jay honey we have too many deaths in this team, you're not helping... BUT YOU POWERED AN ENTIRE SHIP BECAUSE YOU LOVE NYA AND YOU DIDN'T DIE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BLUEBELL 💙💙💙

They were all so worried, I love this ninja family so freaking much 💜💜💜 Also better not tell this one to his GF 😂

And Bluebell?

Welcome to the "change eye color because of elemental power" team! WE GOT ANOTHER ONE I LOVE WHEN IT HAPPENS!!! 😍😍😍

Awww, Zane letting Jay be the captain, that was so cute of him 💕

Another great episode! Doing great so far but I still wonder if we got into the main story. Feels like there should be more, well we got time! Next one! 😊

LONG LIVE THE KING

Sooooo... that's one very telling title 😅 If we're going full Lion King on this one, I think I know where this is going 😵

Maya: Don't they know that metal taste terrible?!? (Again feels like Kai could say something like this 😂)

FINALLY NYA USING FREAKING WATER POWERS UNDER THE SEA!!! Thank you Maya for saying out loud what we were all thinking 👌👌

NINJA TO THE RESCUE!!!

Pff, okay, the fact that Kalmaar is all evil and cruel and then he gets startled like that, it's kind or adorable! 💕 Honestly Giles got such a deep voice, with Clay it was firm warm and reassuring, here we got plain devious and I ADORE it 😍😍😍

Maya come on don't doubt your daughter 😅 But I like her, and if she knew Nya they way we all do she wouldn't doubt that she could make it every time 😎

Yeah I was right, the king seems chill... oww I fear what's coming then 😳

Okay, so Kalmaar thinks that the world should go back to be lead by them like in the past, while the king just wants peace with the surface. And as we know, no drama no season so...

Yep, saw the death coming 😅

WHOA DID NOT SEE THAT LITTLE BLAME ACT COMING KALMAAR IS SO EVIL!!!... with a glorious voice but still (Rose focus on something that is not that godlike voice, you can do it 💪💪)

THE OLD ONE TWO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH COMBO ATTACK!!! 🌊❄🌊❄

Awww Benthomaar is actually really cute, he's so worried about his father 😢 And he's adopted apparently? I wanna know the story!!! 🤩🤩

Yep, there's the reason why Zane got a mask even though he doesn't need one, it completes his attire 😂😂😂 My gosh how I love this nindroid ❄

Did... did Jay just say phooey? Dude Ducktales ended a while ago but I'm still not over it 😭

I said it once before I'll say it again, Ninjago is really REALLY good at making death scenes. Like, omg, I genuinely felt sorry for them 😢😢 I also really liked that the king didn't ask to be avenged, he still wanted peace and he asked his son to protect the ninja and he cried actual tears...

MY HEART WTH 😭😭😭 So we're adding this to the real tears moments of the show, with Jay crying over pie, Zane with the flashback of his dad, Jay crying over Nya and Lloyd thinking the ninja are gone... my world this show is angsty 🙂

Third startle for prince Kalmaar, I love the gag 😂 Oh wait, king Kalmaar 🤷‍♀️

Okay, we got a coup, the ninja running away because they got framed, Benthomaar is most likely going to join them or at least help them, I guess Wojira will come out at some point while... Kai, Ray and Cole are still playing videogames? 😅

THIS IS GETTING COOL I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT AAAAHHH HECK YES THERE IS THE HYPE!!! 😍😍😍

Although I hope we get more stuff with Nya and Maya, that's what I like 🤩

ESCAPE FROM MERLOPIA

I'm good at English and I can follow most of it, but the fantasy names are tricky so I didn't get before that this was the name of the place 😅 It's nice, at least it's not another Atlantis 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

LLOYD I SWEAR TO YOUR GRANDPA IF YOU TRY TO DIE AGAIN 😱

NYA YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE NONE OF YOU ARE OMG 😱😱

Ah, there he is, my new son Benthomaar 💙 He is so lovable already, I know nearly nothing about him and I like his character already a lot! He could relate with all of the ninja really, but maybe with Jay the most? They were both adopted after all 🤔🤔

*scribble note for a fanfic for later if this doesn't come up in the season*

Alright moving on 😗

I am so happy Nya gets a season, Kelly got a great emotional range that doesn't come out often in my opinion, but with a full introspection of water goddess we are all blessed by her voice acting 😍

Gotta say, admitting that Bentho didn't have to help them to answer the usual 'Can we trust him' question is pretty reasonable, like, better than other stupid answers 😅

Also don't mind me

Just screenshotting by ship 💙❤💙❤

Somehow lately we are letting Jay do the talking and I both hate and LOVE the fact 😂😂 Plain Bluebell nonsense, heck yes that's my jam👌👌

MAYA IS SO COOL OMG 🤩🤩

I literally can't not laugh at the startle gag with Kalmaar 😂

LLOYD WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT SELF SACRIFICING!! PLEASE IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR SEASON!! 😱😱😱😱

Aww Jay is still the Captain, nice! Wonder if it's giving him Skybound flashbacks... I hope not considering all he went through that time, poor Sparky 😅😅

ARE THOSE LITTLE WU ROCKETS?? 🤯

Can we skip a season and hang out with Pixal one time? I really wanna know how she organizes her free time to create these things 😍😍😍

THANK YOU LLOYD FOR NOT DYING ONCE AGAIN, MUCH APPRECIATED!!! 💚💚💚 My green bean needs a vacation... they all do 😅

THEY ARE

SO BEAUTIFUL 💙🌊💙🌊

Alright, back to the island hoping Kalmaar will not track us and follow us so he can get to the place and discover the amulet 🙂

Are we not calling the others? I miss my flame babe and Rocky ❤🖤❤🖤 Also RAY WATCHA DOIN I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING 🤩🤩

THE TALE OF BENTHOMAAR

Wait what? Shark boy backstory? SHARK BOY BACKSTORY?!? 👀👀👀

Wow, I see that Kalmaar didn't change a thing growing up, still the same gonna-be-a-villain 😂 Of course his voice got a lot deeper and cool and okay you know I love his voice moving on

I find it kinda funny that Kalmaar is so focused on royal blood and superiority, while Clay was basically a farm boy who worked his way up. Giles knows how to get the character no matter what 😍

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

BABY BENTHOMAAR AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

The king seems like such a good pers- fish- creature 😅 Now I'm double sad that he died, my world, why do I always care so fast, it's not healthy in this show where everyone could die 😰😰

I'M SORRY IS THAT KAI'S HAIR??? 😂😂😂 I LITERALLY CAN'T LOOK AWAY WTH I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS

Literally every frame of Benthomaar makes me love him even more 😢

Interesting that we got an academic villain, he kinda reminds me of Clouse in a way, maybe even Harumi since she studied her way to her plan as well? I like that we got a bit of personality too!

Using your little bro for your own purpose... it's very evil but kinda also brotherly like 😂

Benthomaar really gives me that very PRECIOUS vibe, kinda the perfect son but also a naive and unaware BABY 💙

LEGO HUG 🤩🤩 Not exactly reciprocated but still 😅

Ooohhh, so this is how he found the temple! I like this, it shows that Bentho is most likely physically stronger than Kalmaar, while evil brother is focused on brain and studies. They are planned differently, I like it! 😚😚

Ouch, peer pressure... sibling pressure? Eh you get what I mean 😂

POOR BENTHO 😭😭😭 YOU GOT THE NINJA NOW DON'T WORRY WE'RE NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU ALONE YOU PRECIOUS SHARK BABY!! 🦈🦈🦈

Bentho: will I really fit in with you guys? Do you really understand how I feel?

Lloyd: Jay was adopted, Nya's parents were gone most of her life, Zane lost his father while mine turned evil

Bentho(tearing up): yeah that can work

Okaaaaayyyyy, I like that we got a bit of backstory for Bentho too! We didn't get much for Vanya in Master of the Mountain, which is the only thing I was sad about (very little detail, AMAZING season 🖤🖤🖤), nice to see it here!!

But I really want more Nya and Maya interactions, I hope we'll soon get to them again!! 😍😍😍

Alright, getting somewhere here! I'm very curious about what's next 🤩🤩

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago spoilers #spoilers #ninjago seabound #ninjago season 15 #ninjago nya #nya smith #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #ninjago jay #jay walker #ninjago cole #cole brookstone #ninjago kai #kai smith #ninjago zane #zane julien #ninjago pixal #pixal borg #ninjago maya #maya smith #ninjago benthomaar #benthomaar #ninjago kalmaar #kalmaar

[ginger-and-mint]

Hey, I'm wondering if you have any advice on writing kink stuff? Basically, it feels like I'm writing the same story repeatedly. Coming up with stuffing scenarios that both make sense, and aren't just retreads, is really hard. It probably doesn't help that a) I don't have much writing experience, b) my interests are really narrow, and c) I have no imagination, lol. How do you keep stuff fun and interesting? (Jsyk, I sent this to Tiny as well, I love both your blogs 😊)

Hey, anon! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoy my and Tiny’s content and I’m flattered to be asked for advice! ♡ I have a lot of thoughts about this, so I’ll do my best to boil them down into something useful.
 ^^

Since you mentioned being pretty new to writing, I broke up my advice into a few different “stages,” starting with things that are easy to implement and moving to things that might feel more manageable as you get more comfortable with writing. Under a cut because Real Heckin Long.


Stage One — Don’t Sweat It

This might sound corny and unhelpful, but I genuinely think that especially when you’re first starting out, it’s best not to put pressure on yourself to write the world’s most original stories. Write to please your inner fiend and nobody else! If repeated versions of the same story continue to light your fire, there’s no shame in embracing that.

Doing this will honestly help you with originality in the long-term anyway, because you’re giving yourself the freedom to learn more about what specifics you really enjoy in kink writing. Later on, you can use that knowledge to put new twists on those specifics and invent new scenarios.

Stage Two — Stuffing Scenario Cheat Sheet

I completely agree that believable stuffing scenarios are really difficult to invent. What’s realistic is a matter of opinion of course, but for me, this is a quick breakdown of logical reasons for a character to overeat. If you’re getting tired of using the same justification in your fics, try picking something new from this list:

Accidental stuffing:

Character is distracted by something during the meal

Character eats so fast they don’t realize when they’re full

Character has been hungry for awhile and overdoes it when they finally get to eat

Reluctant intentional stuffing (motivated by external circumstances):

Character feels social pressure to keep eating **

The food will go to waste otherwise **

Eating contests / challenges **

The character is trying to bulk up

Enthusiastic intentional stuffing (because the character wants to):

Character just enjoys the feeling of being full

Character and/or their partner(s) have a stuffing kink

Character has temporary access to good food and is indulging while they can

Fantasy Shenanigans:

Side effects of being a magical creature (e.g. a werewolf eating too much for their human form to handle, a vampire needing to feed all at once, etc.)

Magic that causes a character to overeat (e.g. enchanted food, curses, potions, etc.)

Magic that requires a full stomach and/or extra energy to work (e.g. my di-mage spell mechanics, the antidote in this fic of Tiny’s, etc.)

[free space because fantasy lets you set the boundaries of what’s realistic, so your imagination is really the limit!]

** If you’re aiming for realism, I would be careful of these scenarios. In my opinion, they can be done believably, but often are not. Some things I would look out for:

Most foods can easily be stored for later, so if you want to use the “avoiding waste” trope, make sure that you’re either in a setting without access to refrigeration or that the food is something that genuinely wouldn’t keep until the next day (or at least would be way less tasty after a night in the fridge.)

Social pressure works best in scenarios with people that the to-be-stuffed character 1) doesn’t know very well and 2) wants to impress or keep face around (e.g. formal events, business dinners, first dates that involve food, meeting their partner’s family, etc.)

Loving friends, family, and partners don’t pressure or guilt people into overeating! Characters stuffing themselves because their loved ones are really insistent that they have to taste-test everything or act so disappointed because they went to all this work on some extravagant feast always ring at best false and at worst abusive to me. What kind of loving relationship is it if you don’t feel safe to say “no thanks, I’m full?” That’s not to say social pressure with loved ones can’t be done well, but it usually indicates some kind of character flaw (i.e. an inability to say no and/or a steamroller-y personality) that in my opinion, has to be acknowledged by the fic’s end if you want the tone to stay light and fluffy.

Again, this may just be my opinion, but eating contests only come across as realistic with certain character personalities and in certain contexts. Like yeah, I can believe that a himbo with YouTuber Energy would take on a hot wing eating challenge in front of all his bros, but not so much that an otherwise self-respecting character would drop everything to eat themselves sick because a friend randomly challenged them.

Stage Three — Change Up Other Elements When Using Similar Tropes


Especially if you have narrow interests, it’s probably inevitable you’ll write same basic story structure over and over. I know I sure do! However, I would say that changing other elements of the narrative can give your writing an entirely different feel, turning it into a whole new story that will not feel like a simple retread to a reader.

One thing you can change up is setting. A lot of times kink writers will just plonk characters in the comfort of their own homes, which is valid — but setting hugely influences the atmosphere of a story, so the same Kink Plot will read really differently if it happens, say, at a campground or on a boat. Providing a rich setting can even become a feature of the kink itself. For example, setting your story at a lavish buffet could introduce an element of indulgence that hits you and/or readers differently than a story that involves casual takeout in the living room, even if the rest of the story is similar. Try bold settings! They’re fun!

Another element to vary is context. For example, the basic trope of “stress eating” would play out really differently if a character is about to go on an important mission vs. if they’re recovering from an emotionally difficult day; a story about about a character intentionally stuffing themselves will have a completely different flavor if they’ve been going hungry for awhile vs. they’ve been overeating all week; and so on.


Finally, consider changing up the focus. An easy way to do this is to switch up whether you’re writing from the POV of the stuffed character or a caretaker. You can also focus on different details of the stuffing — for example, lingering on how delicious the food looks and tastes vs. how the character feels as their stomach fills vs. physical details like whether they’re getting bloated or grumbly.

Stage Four — Connect to Character or Plot

The most surefire way to make kink stories distinct is to give the story an additional purpose besides just being kinky. This doesn’t have to be some big, extravagant plot (although it certainly can be) — it can be a simple as writing a kink story the way you usually would, and just finding something within it that you can use to reveal an aspect of your character.

Start with an ordinary kink scenario and try to dive a little deeper. For example:

Say you want to write a story about stress eating. Okay — what is the character stressed about?

Maybe you come up with something relatively simple and generic, like school. Okay, what about this character makes them so likely to be stressed out by school? Are they a perfectionist? Are they facing a lot of pressure from their family? Do they have a goal that requires excellent grades? Have they struggled with this subject in the past?

Let’s say you decide to go with perfectionism. Now, what scenes can you use to show this struggle? And optionally, can you give the character some kind of resolution by the story’s end?

And there you go! Your fic now not only has kink, but also shows how your character reacts in a certain situation.

Character especially is a treasure trove of uniqueness, in my opinion, because well-developed characters react differently to the same scenario. Stories feel more original because even if a reader has read this exact same plot before, they will not have seen how this particular person handles it. So one of the best ways to make fics distinct is to spend time developing your characters!

If the goal is to simply write solid distinct kinky stories, trying to create detailed plot is more work with lower return than investing in your characters, if you ask me. You have to enjoy the process of creating plots itself for it to be worth it. If that’s something you’re interested in, I have a whole load more thoughts about that -- but since this is already incredibly long, I’ll save that for a separate ramble if anyone is specifically interested.

---

I hope something in this huge infodump is helpful to you! Some of it may sound intimidating if you’re just starting out with kink writing, but it’s absolutely all something that can be worked up to. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions if stuff I’ve written doesn’t make sense. Good luck with your writing, anon, and thanks for giving me an excuse to just go off. ^^’ ♡

#happy nice things #asks

[jae-daddy]

Play (3)

im jaebum mini series 

one / two / three / four / five / six (final)  masterlist

pairing: jaebum x reader x jinyoung genre: friends, angst, jealousy plot: you and jaebum have been really great friends. things have been going smoothly because neither of you were in a real relationship, flings? sure, but girlfriends/boyfriends? no. so when Jaebum starts going out with Emma (a bitch), you can’t help but act out <3 a/n: im sorry, I didn't yugyeom would turn so wild yikes. hope you enjoy <3 but this fucking gif!!!! omfggggg AHHHHHHHHH

Okay, so things were not going according to plan.

You had to bring back Yugyeom, aka Dickdown 9/10, back into the game.

It had been three months since Jaebum officially started going out and nothing was changing. They were continuing as normal; Emma being a bitch and Jaebum acting as if he loves her.

It was quite sad really to see Jaebum slowly lose his sunshine. But he had chosen this path, but his destination will not be happily ever after with Emma. It will be with you; you are going to deviate him from the path he was taking towards his doom.

After endless nights spent in your room, alone, after you sent the boys away. You would think about how to make Im Jaebum realise that he, in fact, loved you and not Emma the bitchy hook-up girlfriend.

It took time but you finally figured it out.

You had always known that you wanted to fuck Jaebum one day, but you knew that day would come eventually. But when you saw that window close, you realised it needed to be now. So, you just have to show Jaebum the window to fuck you was closing too, then he’ll leave Emma, and rail you and you’ll live happily ever after.

You needed a boy to do this with, and after endless swipes and scrolling through your contacts, you decided you needed him back. Jaebum already knew Yugyeom existed, and his dick down game was amazing too. If you had to be loyal (while going out with Yugyeom to make Jaebum jealous) you would preferably do it with someone who can make you cum two times (even you couldn’t do that).

And no, by make you cum twice, you don’t mean make you cum the second time after a little relaxation. No, he made you cum twice at once; cum, a little touchy touchy, cum again.

It was truly fucking magic.

Yugyeom was truly magical. You didn’t know why he lacked that one point.

Oh, well.

But it seemed like the plan was working well.

Jaebum studied Yugyeom as Yugyeom politely chatted with Emma.

He didn’t care the first time Yugyeom showed up to the catch-up dinners. He acted surprised and thought it was you just calling him back for a good time.

But then the third time happened, and the fourth. And now as Yugyeom sat next to you for the sixth time, Jaebum was confused and bewildered seated in front of you.  

You were a true master brilliance.

You sighed as you sipped your wine gracefully.

You scrunched your face at the taste and swapped it with Jaebum’s whiskey. Jaebum gave you a pointed look, but you pouted and Jaebum rolled his eyes as he took a sip of your wine.

“Seems like things are going great,” Emma poked, trying to look for holes in the relationship between Yugyeom and you.

You beamed at her as you leaned against Yugyeom, “As you said, Emma, love happens when it happens.”

Jaebum left out a scoff from the side, and you bit the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from grinning in victory.

“Aww,” she cooed, her lips smiling but eyes gleaming with evil. “How did you guys get back together?”

“It’s quite romantic, really,” Yugyeom smiled lovingly at you, making Jaebum’s face twist with distaste as he quirked his eyebrows in disbelief. You nodded along, satisfied with how delightfully this was working out, “Y/n called me up a month after she broke things with me. In the time we were separated she realised how much she loved me.”

“Really?” Jaebum croaked, giving you a knowing smile. He knew how much bullshit that was. During that one month away you were doing perfectly fine, in fact, you had told Jaebum all about your life going well and all the other guys you met.

There was no rain for a single moment in that short one month.

Yugyeom nodded, smiling innocently. He held your hand as he smiled at you softly. You looked away from his guys feeling ashamed.

You were such a bitch.

Absolute trash.

He was such a good guy with really fucking amazing sex skills and you were just using him in this little game.

You met his eyes, trying to smile as he squeezed your hand comforting you, “It’s okay. We’re together now.”

“Oh, are you exclusive?” Emma leaned forward with interest. You recognised what she was doing. She was doing this so if there were any feelings in Jaebum’s heart for you, they would go away because you were with someone else.

Silly her, Jaebum was just as fucked as you. If anything, this would draw him in closer to you.

“Not yet,” you replied curtly, you eyes darting to Jaebum’s before you lowered them to your drink, trying to avoid Yugyeom's.

“Not yet,” Yugyeom echoed, his voice a bit heavy.

“Oh,” she pouted, faking sympathy. “Take your time. It took Jaebum and I a while to get there, and look at us now.” She held his hand in hers and kissed the back of his hand.

You grimaced.

“How’s the book going?” You asked, after a while. Jaebum looked at you a small smile on his lips.

“It’s coming along great,” he beamed at you, his eyes almost disappearing. “Jinyoung is a great editor, he listens to what I want.”

“Has he said anything about Persephone yet?” You asked as you popped a fry into your mouth. Jaebum held his mouth open and you fed him one. “He acted like such a know it all.”

“He is knowledgable, y/n,” Jaebum teased, making you roll your eyes. “He hasn’t told me yet, but he’s having a meeting tomorrow, so I’ll know for sure the day after. You wanna come along?”

“Can I?”

“Sure, just don’t try to fuck him,” Jaebum shrugged. You watched him carefully, his tone was playful, but his eyes avoided yours and his shoulders looked tense.

“What are you not telling me?” You narrowed your eyes. Jaebum looked up with you, his eyes wide with pretend innocence.

He was hiding something.

“Does Jinyoung want to fuck me?”

“Maybe- No.” He answered sternly. “No, you cannot sleep with him.”

Yes. Fuck yes, please. You want a piece of that smarty good-looking cocky asshole.

“So he wants to?”

“Y/n,” he warned.

That’s not a no.

“Oh my, he was kind of cute.”

“Stop,” he groaned. “You cannot sleep with my editor.”

“I won’t.”

You lied.

“You won’t?”

Not until he was done with the book at least.

“I won’t,” you held both your hands up, as you stared at him in accusation, “I will not ruin your book, Jaebum. You have no faith in me.”

“I do, y/n,” Jaebum gasped, trying to hold your hand but you took it away. He reached for it. He caught it and held it as his thumb drew soothing circles at the back. “I have faith in you-”

“But not him because he wants to rail me?” You smiled, and Jaebum smacked your hand away with an annoyed smile.

“You are so annoying.”

“You love me,” you blew him a kiss, and he rolled his eyes.

You chuckled looking over to the side to find Yugyeom and Emma watching the both of you.

Shit, you forgot about Yugyeom.

“Get used to it,” Emma laughed lightly, but there was no smile on her face as she brought the glass to her lips, “They tend to forget other people exist too often.”

Jaebum stared at the table, biting his lip as if he knew he would have to deal with this later. He bought the wine glass to his lips and began chugging it down.

You peered over at Yugyeom who stared between you and Jaebum, “Have you both ever fucked?”

Jaebum choked spraying the wine over you. You gasped, freezing as you felt droplets fall down your face.

“What the fuck, Jae?”

“Shit,” Jaebum laughed, coughing. You tried to hold on to the anger but it slipped away as you found yourself trying to stop yourself from laughing. Jaebum coughed harder as he began choking on his laughter, “Sorry.”

You both fall into fits of laughter as Jaebum reached over and dabbed your face with a napkin, “God, you should’ve seen your face y/n.”

“You’re lucky I enjoy you too much to kill you,” you snorted taking the napkins and dabbing yourself dry. “You’re such a cunt.”

“Hey, blame your nine outta ten!” Jaebum laughed holding up his hand. You froze as you bit your lip.

“Nine out of ten?” You felt Yugyeom stare at your face.

“Oh, that was his rating wasn’t it, y/n?” Emma added, you turned to look at her and then straight across at Jaebum.

He told her.

It wasn't a big deal, but he fucking told her.

“What, so you share this everyone?” Yugyeom snorted, his voice edged with anger.

“Hey, man, calm down. it’s not that serious-” Jaebum spoke softly, trying to diffuse the tension.

You kept looking at him, how could he tell her?

“Yeah, Yugyeom,” Emma added, her voice fast-paced with phoney panic. “She does this for all her one night stands. You’re one of the highest, or was it the highest?”

Her eyes met yours. You noticed that tiny twist at the corner of her lips.

She wasn’t trying to show Jaebum how in love Yugyeom and you were to get him to stop liking you. She was trying to ruin you and Yugyeom.

That conniving little bitch.

“Oh thanks,” Yugyeom got up, throwing his napkin onto his plate.

Shit.

Fuck.

What are you supposed to do? Are you meant to chase after him?

You don’t even like him that much. It was only a matter of time anyways.

But what happened here wasn’t good, you did hurt him. But at least it was a good rating, a fucking nine out of ten. It could’ve been worse, imagine if he was a four, that would’ve been embarrassing.

But he was obviously hurt enough to storm out of here. You should stop him, shouldn’t you?

At least for the sake of the plan.

And it was a good time, you can’t just let him walk away hurt.

“Yugyeom, wait,” you called out as he disappeared out the door. You shot up from your seat, tossing your napkin on the table, “Shit.”

You ran after him like a lunatic person. The lady at the counter tried to stop you, but you pointed to the table, “My friends and my purse is there, I’ll be back.”

You didn’t wait for her to reply and ran out of the building. You found him a few feet away and you chased after him. Your feet began burning in the heels, and your heels disgracefully slapped against the pavement with loud clacks that echoed through the late-night streets.

“Yugyeom, stop,” you rasped as you reached for his shoulder. He turned when you touched him, and you held in a gasp.

You are a terrible person. You are a horrible person.

He looked at you with so much hurt and betrayal that it made your heart stop. You didn’t even love him, and you felt so terribly bad for the way you hurt him.

“I’m sorry, Yugyeom,” you breathed, as he gently pushed your hand away from his shoulder. “This was before we broke it off. I told him in the beginning, I didn’t think he would tell Emma. I’m sorry.”

Yugyeom just shook his head as he stared up at the starless night sky.

“Come on, Yugyeom,” you snorted, trying to bring in some humour. “It was a good rating anyway-”

“No, just stop.”

“What?”

“Just stop,” he laughed, his eyes not focusing on you because of how enraged he felt. “You don’t like me. I’m not stupid, y/n. I’m not blind. I know you like that shithead in there.”

“He’s not a shit head-”

“Oh, he’s not?” Yugyeom snorted, he chuckled darkly, without any humour, “He just acts like that and gets away with that.”

“What are you talking about?” You shook your head confused.

“He and his girlfriend have been nothing but assholes to me from the day I stepped inside that restaurant with you. His girlfriend being a bitch- I don’t know why the fuck she being that way, but she was. But, him. He was being an ass because I was with you. I was the one fucking you. He couldn’t stand that-”

“Yugyeom, we’re just friends-”

“Right, just friends. Fuck, you’re stupid if you think friends are like that.”

Omg Yugyeom, that is exactly what you have been saying since day one. But you need to make Jaebum realise that, so let’s go back inside, Yeomie.

“Let’s just go in,” you pleaded, sighing.

“No,” he shook his head.

“Okay, let’s go back home.” You reached for his hand, but he jerked it away, forcefully making you stumble back. You bumped into something and regained your balance.

“I was really willing to give this a try y/n,” he spat at you. The sweetness and loving-goodness on his face vanished as he scoffed at you, “But you are nothing but a fucking slut. You don’t have a heart, you’re dead inside. You should really stop fucking other people to fill that empty void inside you. You will always remain as lonely as you are right now.

“No one will ever be able to love you. And you know what? You won’t remain attractive forever. And when you can’t get dick anymore, you’ll realise just how ugly you are inside. The only thing you’ll be left with is some fucking disease or worse, a child who would hate having a worthless whore like you as their mother-”

You can’t think of anything. It’s all blank. There’s not even a ringing, there is no bright whiteness blanketing your mind. There is nothing as you stand there soaking in the words he said to you.

It hurts...

You saw the leer on his lips start to grow into a grin, as a frown settled on yours.

But you didn’t say anything.

And then, you saw a fist fly towards Yugyeom’s face. It was all in slow motion.

You saw the panic and fear in his eyes as he focused on that strong fist flying towards his lips; that smirk falling as he cried in slow motion.

You heard the crack. You saw spit fly out his mouth. You saw his eyes shut as he groaned falling to the ground in pain.

And then the world sped up again.

You saw Jaebum climb onto him. Yugyeom’s collar was tight in his grip as he landed another punch on his face. Yugyeom cowered groaning as he started to bleed red.

And then another punch, and another.

Your hands were shaking as you pulled Jaebum off Yugyeom, “Jaebum, stop.”

You pulled Jaebum off with all your weight, your fingers wrapping around his knuckles as they whitened around Yugyeom’s collar. He pulled Yugyeom up with him, his eyes dark with anger.

You pushed them apart and squeezed between them. You turned to Jaebum, holding onto his wrist to make him drop his hold on Yugeyom.

“Jaebum, please stop,” you cried, and he glanced at you for a moment before staring back at Yugyeom.

Jaebum looked at back down at you as you pleaded. His jaw tight as he shook Yugyeom by the collar, you trembled in panic. Jaebum leaned in close to Yugyeom, his front pressing against your body. You placed your hand on Jaebum's chest to hold him back.

“Get the fuck out of here,” Jaebum sneered at Yugyeom. Yugyeom snorted, the blood smearing over his cheek. “Don’t you dare ever come near her again! You hear me?”

“Jaebum,” you begged softly, as he let Yugyeom fall back with a jerk.

Yugyeom stumbled back but found his balance, he walked away holding his hand up, “Keep your slut.”

“You fuck-” Jaebum snarled towards him, but you stopped him, grasping his front.

You made him look at you, as you held his cheek. You shook your head frantically, and Jaebum calmed down as his raging eyes met yours, “Please don’t.”

Jaebum bent to meet your eyes as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. He held your face delicately as his eyes searched over you, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“No,” you whispered, shaking your head. You stood there letting Jaebum check over you. He finally took a deep breath as he took a few steps away from you.

He looked up to the sky before he closed his eyes. He ran his hands through his long dark hair before linking his fingers at the back of his neck. His head faced the ground, his eyes closed, taking deep breaths in.

You stood there on the empty pavement, watching Jaebum as he calmed himself down.

You were shaking.

You were shaking too much, and you felt so cold. You were shivering, but it was a nice summer night tonight. Your teeth were clattering too much, for the wind to be the cause of it.

Your heart was still pounding in your ear. Your hands shook by your side as you waited for Jaebum.

You just wanted to go back in and finish your dinner. You wanted to return back to normal.

“This is exactly what I have been saying, y/n,” Jaebum spoke, his cold voice cutting through you. “This is what I mean when I said I can’t always look after you.”

He didn’t need to do this for you. You didn’t need him to.

You didn’t say anything and just watched him as you folded your arms for some warmth. The chill suddenly getting worse.

“Is this- Is that the kind of boys you want to spend your life after?” He looked at you, his eyes judging. Your brows furrowed at his words, at the way he was looking at you. “If you keep on living your life like this, I won’t always be there to protect you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” you finally said. “I didn’t ask for your help. I had it under control.”

“You were just standing there, staring at him while he said all that to you!”

“Everyone is entitled to their opinion,” you weren’t the nicest to Yugyeom. You were using him. He wasn't important; his words didn’t affect you, you just hadn’t expected them and didn’t know how to react.

“Those were not opinions, y/n,” Jaebum took a step towards you, his jaw jutting out. He was mad. “He was insulting you, calling you those names. Saying those things to you.”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” you shook your head, as you looked at Jaebum. You didn’t know why he was acting like this.

If anything you should be mad at him.

“Of course it doesn’t,” Jaebum chortled darkly, as he rolled his eyes. “You didn’t like him, you just brought him around for laughs.”

“I did like him.”

A lie.

“Oh really? You did?” He retorted, sarcastic.

“Why not?” You took a step towards him. You hated fighting. “Emma always says to find love so I was giving love a chance.”

“Oh stop that fucking bullshit,” Jaebum groaned, as he rolled his eyes.

“No, you stop,” you told him. You took a step forward and pressed your index finger into his chest. “The only reason this all happened was that you brought up the rating.”

Okay, low blow. You knew that was not the reason, but you needed something to shoot at him with. You can’t just stand there and listen to Jaebum.

And you were mad about this. How could he tell her things you’ve told him. What else has he been telling her?

Did he tell her about that incident where you peed yourself?

“You even fucking told your little girlfriend about it,” it was your turn to scoff up at him. You pressed your finger into his chest making him take a step back. “You fucking told her something I told you in confidence, Jaebum.”

“That wasn’t even that important,” he moaned, defending himself.

You shook your head, feeling your cheeks heat.

“It is important because you told her something I had told you. You are my friend, not her. What else have you told her that I’ve told you?” Jaebum stared down at you, his lips curling into a furious frown.

“Do you go and tell her everything in detail. Tell her all my little secrets. Do you have fun-”

“I have to tell her shit because you fucking act like this.”

“What?”

“I ignore it, but subtlety isn't really your forte, y/n. I see the way you both look at each other. Why would she not feel uncomfortable with me hanging out with you when you act like that?”

“Your precious girlfriend keeps it going too, Jaebum. it's not just me. And what do you mean by act like that? Like what?"

“Like a fucking a brat!”

Fuck off.

A brat? Really.

“Oh, so you can’t hang out with brats? Really? Say what you really mean, Jaebum!”

“You sleep with anyone who blinks at you, y/n. Why would she not be scared?”

You took a step back, hurt.

“Don’t act like a fucking saint, you were fucking anything that walked until a few months ago.”

“I’ve changed.”

“Fuck off you have,” you howled, laughing. You sobered meeting his eyes as you took a step dangerously close to him. “I see the way you look at other girls, Jae.”

You’ve seen the way he looks at you.

“Don’t act like you don’t want to fuck them.”

Don’t act like you don’t want to fuck me.

“I don’t,” he took a step closer to you. Your feet in between his, your nose brushing against his. His forehead resting on yours, his lips so close to yours.

He wasn’t looking at your eyes anymore. His gaze focused on your lips.

His hands gripped your waist, so tight it hurt, as he pressed you against him.

You gulped tilting your head towards him.

“I don’t,” he whispered. He closed his eyes as he blew out a low breath.

“I don’t,” he repeated more to himself.

He let out a sigh as he untangled from you.

“Let’s go in,” Jaebum said, offering you a hand, after a moment.

You didn’t take it. You stared at it, and then at Jaebum.

“We said things we didn’t mean to, let’s go back inside, y/n.”

You looked at his hand. Your chin trembled as you met his eyes again.

Fucking shit don’t cry.

Damn it.

You felt your vision blur.

Damn.

“I didn’t care what that little shit had to say about me. What he says doesn't matter to me, he is no one to me,” Jaebum’s eyes softened, his lips parted as he saw a tear fall down your cheek.

Jaebum had never seen you cry. Only once, and that was it.

“But I care what you say,” you couldn’t continue as you shut your eyes tightly to stop the tears. But they kept coming, and you furiously wiped your chin where you could feel them pool. You turned away from Jaebum as you ordered him, “Go get my coat and purse, and pay for mine and Yugyeom’s share with my card.”

You felt him hesitate, for a second before he walked into the restaurant.

You found a couple of stairs and sat on the third from the bottom.

You continued wiping your tears as you thought of what Jaebum said to you.

After five minutes, Jaebum walked back out and sat next to you.

“Emma’s going to finish her food before leaving,” he told you. You nodded, keeping your eyes down.

Don’t say it.

Don’t say it.

“Is that why you won’t have sex with me?” You asked, your voice raw and quiet. “Because I drop my panties at anyone who looks my way?”

“No,” Jaebum answered immediately. His voice soft and filled with regret. He turned towards you. You felt him hesitate, but he gently placed his fingers under your chin as he made you turn towards him. “I didn’t mean that.”

“You said it. People say things they think when they’re angry,” your bottom lip trembled, and you saw the panic rise in Jaebum as he took you in.

“I-” he started before sighing. He hugged you, hiding you into his chest and he wrapped his arm around you. “I would never think that about you. It’s just Emma and I have been fighting over this and I don’t know... I guess I heard it so many times it’s just in my head now. But that is not what I think at all.”

“It’s true though,” you replied, muffled.

Jaebum brushed your hair soothingly as he let out a little chuckle. You felt it vibrate through him. It felt good; his warmth, his heartbeat, his smell, the soft hum of his through his chest as he talked. “How can I judge you when I was like that too? I was worse than you. But there’s nothing wrong with having sex with a lot of people. It doesn’t make you any better or worse.”

“Then why not?” You asked, sniffling into his chest.

Jaebum stilled for a second, before replying, “I guess the timing was off.”

“Huh?” You leaned back to look up at him.

Jaebum wiped the tears from your cheeks, chuckling, “You look like a mess when you cry.”

You glared at him and he laughed.

“When we first became friends, I thought you weren’t into casual hookups. You had only had sex with your long-term boyfriend, so I left it. I was having hooking up with so many other girls, I thought it wasn’t right to do that to you. I wasn’t sure if you ever wanted to have sex with me, and you were such a good friend I didn’t want to ruin it. But then, you started hooking up with others.

“And I thought, ‘Oh, I guess she just didn’t want to hook up with me.’ And then the timing went off, and I didn’t want to risk losing you.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, taking it all in.

“You won’t,” you whispered. Jaebum looked at you.

He leaned forward and rubbed his nose against yours. You blew out a breath as rolled your eyes.

“I won’t," he whispered back.

What the fuck does that mean?

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he got up, offering you a hand. You took it, standing up and grabbing your things off him.

“Not today, Jae,” you tried to give him a smile, but it didn’t quite make it. “I need to cry tonight.”

“I’m sorry about the things I said, y/n,” he took a step towards you, but you moved away. “I won’t tell Emma things anymore, I promise.”

You nodded, walking towards the Main Street with Jaebum following behind you. You waved a hand stopping a taxi; one stopped instantly, and you were pleasantly surprised.

You were about to get in, when you turned around to Jaebum, “Did you tell her about the pee incident?”

Jaebum’s eyes widened, and you shook your head with disappointment.

Fucking shithead, that was a take-to-your-grave secret.

“Never talk to me again,” you told him, getting into the taxi before he could reply.

You trust a boy with your soul, and he shows it to some chick for a bit of personality.

Disgusting.

#play #im jaebum #jaebeom #im #lim #im jaebeom #lim jaebeom #got7 #got7 jaebum #got7 jaebeom #got7 series #jaebum series #got7 smut #got7 angst #got7 fluff #got7 fanfic #jaebum smut #smut #jaebum angst #angst #jaebum fluff #fluff #fighting #yugyeom #jaedaddy #easyyyy #this style of writing is a bit cool to write #this goddamn gif #my fav gif #omfggggg

[passable-talent]

what about,,, modern au,,, punk mucisian au,,,, anakin with tattoos pLEASE

may I introduce u to my new favorite gif...

also. plot twist! what if,, and hear me out,, you’re the musician, and he’s the fan?

i made an entire setlist for this fuckn au of my taste in punk-ish rock-ish music to base certain lines, moods, and lighting off of. it exists. i’ll hand it over if you ask.

stumbled over this headcanon as i wrote but,,,, modern au anakin absolutely grew up in nevada. desert. middle of nowhere. close to vegas and the racing. automobile industry. thank u for ur time  

This whole ‘music’ thing was actually working out. Imagine that. 

You were gaining fame slowly- your record company still didn’t get you big gigs, but you got something. 

Something like this, in fact. A small, dingy laser tag place, but it was perfect nonetheless. Perfect for you. You felt right at home- it was too hot, and the audience was still loud, since the music hadn’t started. The stage was small, but the lights were bright, and you were standing behind the curtains that had been hung barely a foot from the wall. 

“Ready?” you heard Padme ask- Padme, the lead guitarist, your best friend. She was on stage, currently, hidden from the crowd by a blanket of black. On the other side of the stage, you knew, was Ahsoka, the drummer, a little tiny teenager you’d picked up last summer when your original drummer quit, and beside her was undoubtedly Aayla, your bassist. You were lucky- you were surrounded by such great friends that you could pull your weight without having to play the guitar. Which was good for everyone- you were an awful guitar player. 

“Anytime, loves,” you said, a smile lighting your lips. You’d almost overdosed on the anti-anxiety pills this morning- the feeling of playing a gig still unfamiliar and nerve wracking. 

But you heard the music start, and started to sing. 

Only when this particular song really kicked into gear did you toss open the curtain, and the cheer went up, almost drowning out the music. You were certainly the fan favorite of the band, only because you were the most expressive. You didn’t have an instrument, so you got to run around on stage, and kneel down to reach out, brushing your fingers to the crowd’s as you sang, like God to Adam. 

It really wasn’t a looks thing- for some, it might be, but not to most. Hey, if there was anyone that should really get the attention, it was Padme. She was unfairly beautiful. 

The great thing about being a punk artist was that most of your fans were, too. They came with their tattoos and snuck in their weed, their ripped jeans always leaving with a few more holes than they arrived with. A band like yours, so dominated by women, had really caught on with a female crowd, but there were always guys here, too. You never really cared to know if it was their dicks or their ears that brought them.

There was a little bit of a problem, though. You were well known for trying to make connections with as many fans as you could- not for your sake, but for theirs. You loved taking selfies, touching their fingers, winking at them during a particularly suggestive lyric, guys and girls alike. Which lead to a little problem, one that Ahsoka loved to refer to as your ‘wattpad fantasy’. 

Growing up when you had, you’d all been all over the internet, into each of its corners. You knew the common trope that teenaged fans had with their favorite artists- that they’d catch the eye of the main singer, and get dragged backstage after the show.

You had the opposite fantasy. Too many times did one or another audience member catch your eye, and yeah, sometimes you did consider catching them before they left after the show. It never worked- either you lost track of them, or you didn’t have the guts to go through with it. 

When you laid eyes on him, though, you wanted so desperately to go through with it tonight. 

You tried not to be obvious, you really did try to be subtle- but whenever the multicolored lights caught his hair, your gaze was pulled back to him, no matter how much you wanted to give equal attention to every audience member brave enough to wrestle their way to the front row. 

But you also wanted to make sure he knew. That you’d noticed him.

With one or two lyrics, lines like “tell me that you love me, even if it’s only for tonight”, you let your eyes catch his, hoping to whatever powers there might’ve been that he’d be looking back at you. 

The halftime break, the intermission, came faster than expected, and you dropped into the one room the laser tag place set aside for you, and tried to clean as much sweat from your scalp and hair as you could. 

“Alright, what is it?” Padme asked from behind you.

“What to you mean?” you asked, glancing at her through the mirror you were using to try to artfully smudge your eyeliner. 

“You’re favoring the left side of the audience. What, find a wattpad boy?”

“Another one?” Ahsoka called from the other side of the room, rubbing sore callouses on her palms.

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved them off with a laugh, “let me dream.” 

Act II came around, and back to the stage you went, trying to be even more subtle this time around. Still, you kept track of him- he hadn’t moved far. Maybe, if you watched him carefully enough, you’d get to meet him before he left. 

It was hard to do, and you hadn’t yet been successful. You really weren’t supposed to offer fans any ‘free’ attention, or at least, that was the way your manager had put it. If you let everybody take a picture with you, then no one will buy backstage passes. 

A sentiment that your anarchist side absolutely resented. Fuck capitalism, you wanted to chill with your fans. 

But hey, back on topic! It was amazing how you could totally tune out during a song, and tune back in, still strutting around the state, still singing perfectly. Luckily, you’d brought yourself back to reality, right when the second to last song was about to end. 

When it faded away, you stepped to the center of the stage, readjusting your mic quickly and letting a real smile come over your face. 

And this- this was it. No matter how fantastic any show was, it would never top this. You always went out with the same song, way back from your first album, one of the first you’d ever written. You heard Padme start to strum.

“And with that, we’re coming to the end,” you said over the guitar, speaking to the audience like you knew every person there. “So I want you to all sing along with this one. Every damn word. Because tonight- this is a night none of us are going to forget.” You’d said it a hundred times, and yet, you meant it every time. When you stopped speaking, you started singing, abandoning your strutting and stomping for just standing at the front of the stage, looking at them all. 

“It was a fall night, late night-” There was a reason you always ended with this song. It was so beautiful, and so sensual. It was a promise, between you, and your band, and your fans, a promise that it was all for them, not for whatever rode in their wallets. A promise that you would keep looking out for them. 

And when you began the chorus, you dropped to your knees, getting that much closer to them, your smile so genuine, because you could hear them, every single one of them, like they were performing for you. It was their night as much as yours, it was their music more than it was yours. 

A hundred voices welling up around yours was always what kept you awake at night, kept you coming back, pushing through the looks that people gave you when you said you were trying to make it in the music industry, pushing through the late nights where you couldn’t make it through that lyric. This song, right here, this was what brought you back, kept reminding you what mattered. 

You stopped singing, and they continued without you. They always did- they would see how you just looked at them all, with the realest smile they’d ever seen, and they sang for you. 

You couldn’t help it. You watched him- and he was singing, too. 

This time, you knew for sure. You knew he was watching you, too, and when your eyes locked, the voices around you all swelled to a crescendo, like a soundtrack to the scene you were living through. 

You had to snap yourself back into the world to pick up the second verse. It stayed just as intimate, just as amazing, all the way to the end of the song, when you sang the final note, and just stood there, basking in it, in a world made just for you. 

The stage lights flickered out, and you disappeared into the dark. 

Over your earpiece, one of the roadies informed you that your mics were off, and that’s exactly the way you liked them. You dropped onto the stage, hanging your legs over the front of it. You were still a few feet from the closest little fence, but it was closer than you’d been to them yet. 

“Hey, guys,” you hissed toward anyone within earshot. That alone, in the dim light, gathered a crowd of twenty or so who had noticed you. You always did this at the end of the show- just to let them hear their name on your tongue. 

And maybe, today, to find him. 

You looked to a girl who had her hand outstretched to you, and you took it briefly.

“Hey, what’s your name?” you asked, and she shouted back “Oran!”

“Oran, almost like the color, huh?” You were so much more at ease now than you were, before the show. “I bet you hear that all the time.” You turned to someone else, always trying to make it through as many people as possible. 

How many could you touch base with before turning to him, so that it wouldn’t be suspicious? Was three enough, or should you do one more?

No, when you caught his eyes, there was no turning back. 

“Hey, what’s up,” you said, fighting to keep your heartbeat under control. 

“Anakin,” he said, then pulling a bright yellow card out of his jacket. That, you’d recognize anywhere- that was a backstage pass. 

Like the universe was aligning for you. 

“Well, Anakin, if you’ve got a pass, I’ll see you later, yeah?” As you usually did from a person who had a pass, you moved on quickly, giving this time to others who wouldn’t get more. You heard six or seven more names before Ahsoka was tugging on your shoulder. 

“Alright, alright,” you groaned, throwing your legs over the stage again and standing up, but not before blowing one last kiss toward the small crowd you’d gathered. 

As soon as you made it back, into where the speakers cluttered up all of the space, you collapsed against Ahsoka, laughing as she struggled to hold you up.

“What, thinking about your wattpad boy?” she said, throwing you to your feet.

“Oh, not again,”  Aayla whined, “he’ll be no different than every other one that you dream of finding at next week’s show, and then never see again.”

“No, no, this one’s different!” you insisted, grabbing onto Padme’s shirt. She brushed you off with a laugh.

“Oh yeah? How?” 

“His name is Anakin,” you said, rubbing your lower lip between your teeth. “And he’s got a backstage pass.” 

“What??” Came the collective cry, and you shushed them all before your manager appeared. 

It was showtime, baby. 

There were two or three of them, in total. The passes tended not to sell too well, and there were only a few available, anyway. The band just wasn’t quite big enough to pull that kind of fandom, save for a few die-hards who would one day get to pull out a photo and say ‘see? I was there at the beginning.’ 

Anakin was the last of the bunch. 

“Great to meet you,” you said, shaking his hand for real this time. His eyes were damn intense- no wonder you’d been mesmerized by them. 

“You too,” he said, and introductions went just as seamlessly with the others. Padme hugged him, and Ahsoka, little firecracker, gave him a playful punch for telling her that she looked taller when she was on stage. 

Now- there’s a reason Padme’s your best friend in the world. 

“Hey, it’s getting late,” she informed you, as though she were telling you to wrap it up. But she was smarter than that, and had set up the perfect trap.

“Oh,” Anakin said, looking slightly guilty and quite disappointed. “Well, I-” 

“Nah,” you cut him off, smacking the back of your hand against his chest, “You paid for fifteen minutes, you’ll get them. We’ve just got to start packing up. You can chill with us, if you want.” No matter the fame difference between the five of you, he was just another guy in his early 20′s, the same as the rest of you, save for eighteen year old Ahsoka. He meshed well with the lot of you, and even helped load ‘Soka’s drums into the truck. 

And, hey- he knew what he was getting into when he climbed into the back of the van with the four of you.

And what he was getting into was a bumpy-ass ride to one of the shittiest hotels the area could offer. It wasn’t even midnight, and you didn’t feel like climbing into bed just yet, so you let him follow the four of you upstairs so you could grab your phone and room key before leaving them to entertain themselves for the evening. 

“Come home alive!” Aayla called as a farewell, and Ahsoka snorted from where she was laying on her bed. 

“Come home capable of walking,” she said, and Padme saved you by slamming the door shut. 

“So what’s there to do around here?” you asked him, shoving your hands into your pockets. You walked close to him, shoulders almost brushing with each step, and his smile was just for you.

“Are you kidding? Absolutely nothing. You’re lucky you found the laser tag place.” You looked toward him with a laugh, the ugly carpeting of the hotel hallway stretching on forever in front of you.

“Seriously? How could you survive?”

“Hey, not every town is downtown LA.” 

“I’m flattered you think I’m famous enough to live in LA.” You stopped at the elevator, punching the down button. He nudged your shoulder playfully, those piercing blue eyes flicking over your face. 

“You’re gonna be. You guys are really good.”

“Good to know I have your blessing for my career.” 

“I’m serious!” he said with a laugh, and when the elevator door opened, he let you inside first. 

“Yeah, yeah. So if there’s nothing to do around here...” You tilted your head at him, watching as he rested his shoulders back against the buffed metal wall. “What do you do?”

“Find a friend’s basement to smoke in,” he said with a laugh, and you couldn’t help but join him. “Mostly we go see movies, or sneak onto a roof, if we’re lucky.” You narrowed your eyes, letting your gaze slide to the elevator buttons. 

“A roof, you say?” 

“I don’t want to get you in trouble-”

“Anakin, answer me this-” You pulled out your phone to check the time. “Do you think the lobby security agent of this Comfort Inn is going to be dedicated enough to check the roof at 12:23 AM?” The world outside this elevator didn’t exist as his lips turned up into a smirk.

“No, I don’t think they will.”

“In that case-” You slipped your second knuckle against the highest number on the wall- 6. Not very impressive, but it would do.

Once the elevator went down to the lobby, and back up again, you stumbled your way to the stairwell and up, finding the door that said ‘roof access- do not enter’. Since when do you ever listen?

If you listened to some red sign on a door, you wouldn’t have your head on Anakin’s shoulder, looking up at more stars than you’d ever seen in your entire life. 

You’d grown up in California, too close to some of the largest cities in the country to ever see the night sky like this. He’d grown up here, where there were warehouses for shipping to Reno, or Vegas, or Salt Lake City, but none of those cities were close enough to steal the sky.

“See those two, right on top of each other?” He asked, pointing to an area a few degrees up from the horizon.

“Yeah, I think,” you said, and he lifted his left arm, where he had a constellation pattern tattooed between his elbow and wrist. 

“It’s this one. The phoenix. The first constellation I actually saw in the sky.” You reached out, taking hold of his elbow, and positioning his arm, from your perspective, just next to the constellation. “My mom took me out to a field and showed me the stars,” he said, and though you couldn’t see his face, you could hear the fondness in his voice. “For a long time, I wanted to be an astronaut.”

“Me too,” you said with a laugh, “but I wasn’t good enough in math.” 

“My mom’s friend Watto says I’m too good with cars to fly a ship.”

“Wouldn’t that make you better?” You asked, readjusting so that your shoulder pressed to his. It was a little cold.

“You’d think so, right?” You were such a loud person, that all too often you fought against silence- not tonight. You let it envelope you, bringing with it peace. You could hear Anakin breathing, and it was so calming, your eyes slipped closed.

“You’re going to fall asleep up here,” he said, a hint of playfulness in his voice. 

“Shut up,” you groaned, “I had a long day, and you’re warm.” 

“You should go back to the room, then.” You rolled over onto your stomach, then, taking a good look at him. 

“But that would mean that this night has to end.” He lifted his chest up by planting his elbows down, bringing himself closer to you. 

“You said it yourself,” he said, voice smooth and quiet, “this is a night we’re not going to forget.”

“But that doesn’t mean I want it to end,” you breathed, unable to look away from him. You barely noticed it when he begun to lean forward, but then his lips were on yours, and that you certainly took notice of. 

Your eyes fluttered closed, thanks to the shock and the welcome nature of it, and you leaned into it. He brought his furthest hand up and let it slide to the back of your neck, as though he could keep you from pulling away. You wouldn’t.

Your lips were still parted when he pulled away, your mind struggling to catch up. He’d- he’d just-

Calloused fingers brushed your hair back, and you opened your eyes to their touch, being drawn right back to his gaze. 

“Then it doesn’t have to.” 

-🦌 Roe

part 2

#anakin x reader insert #star wars anakin #anakin imagine #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker #punk!anakin #modern au #musician au #star wars #fics

[m3kuroshirt]

I love movies, so 8? 👉👈🧡💙

Hello anon! Thank you for sending in an ask for our first ask game! We appreciate it and are excited to answer :D

From the ask game here.

#8. What genre of movie does each of them like and which ones do they hate? How does that factor into movie nights?

*If anyone wants to send in the same ask, feel free, as one of our other mods would answer it with their own thoughts! :)

Answer under the cut, as it is a little bit long!

Let's start with likes: I think Ichigo would like the action/adventure movies. He would identify with the main characters a lot, having someone or something to protect and going to any lengths to do so. I think he would also enjoy something with a bit of suspense...not horror or anything like that, but mysteries perhaps, something that gets his mind working, trying to figure things out. Those can be a lot of fun. Grimmjow is not so much a fan of the complicated plots and twists and turns. He prefers a good ol' shoot 'em up movie with lots of explosions to cover up the plot holes large enough to drive a jacked up dodge through...for example: the Die Hard series (no hate on them from me, I love those movies. they're my guilty pleasure lol) or anything directed by Michael Bay. He likes the fast pace and the action. It's hard to get him to sit still for an entire movie otherwise. Luckily, the two of them have similar tastes.

Ichigo can't stand horror. Too close to reality for him. And I think he would have had one too many nightmares when he was younger, waking up in a cold sweat from a dream where he couldn't protect his little sisters. Scarred by nightmares of one too many unkillable murderous clowns, I think he would definitely dislike them (especially after he meets Mayuri). Grimmjow thinks this is funny and pretty much forces Ichigo to watch one with him by daring him and implying he's a coward. The arrancar would regret this when he sees how upset the movie actually makes Ichigo. He apologizes and spends the rest of the night snuggling his Ichigo in bed to comfort him. They never watch a horror movie together again.

Grimmjow hates rom-coms. Not because he thinks romance is a joke (he would absolutely buy Ichigo roses and chocolates and spend the night just holding him). No. He hates rom-coms because he doesn't think many of the tropes or either of the love-interests does a good job portraying what love is. He doesn't get how they go from hating each other to an intimate relationship with hardly any character growth or development (in his eyes). Part of it is because he knows how much time and trust it took to build up to the point where he could even just sit next to Ichigo without worrying the other hated him, let alone kiss him. He thinks the movie industry is making light of love and the effort that goes into it by saying "it doesn't matter if you hate someone, if you're meant to be you will end up together with almost no effort on the part of either of you and be eternally happy". He takes it as a bit of a personal insult, despite Ichigo reassuring him that no, the movie industry does not personally have it out for Grimmjow. (Ichigo likes the rom-coms once in a while)

Movie nights aren't too difficult, since they both enjoy some similar ones...but it can turn into a fight if one of them wants something the other dislikes. A pillow fight, that is. Winner gets to choose the movie and has the loser make them a snack.

Now, this isn't a specific genre, but a little extra idea floating around in my mind: Grimmow specifically hates any movie that makes Ichigo cry. I think Ichigo could be a bit of a softie, because let's be real, he tries to protect everyone. He wants others to be happy. And some movies tug at the heart strings. He watched Old Yeller once with Grimmjow and cried at the end. Grimmjow consoled him, a little uncertain because it...wasn't real? (uh huh, big talk, Mr. Rom-coms-are-the-bane-of-my-existence-because-they're-proof-hollywood-hates-me-personally Jaegerjaquez) Regardless, Ichigo gets comforted. They go to bed. The next day, the Old Yeller DVD is in the trash...smashed into a million pieces. Courtesy of one protective blue-haired arrancar.

Hope you enjoyed these headcannons anon, and have a lovely day!

#grimmichi #m3kuroshirt #ask #answered #ask game #anonymous #m34gswrites #jaegerjaquez grimmjow #kurosaki ichigo