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salemorbit · 3 years

Note

Hi, sorry if I'm overwhelming you with Requests, but I had an idea for an Imagine that I'd really love to see you write!! Could you please write some Headcanons for how Link, Zelda, Sidon and Revali (Age of Calamity timeline for Sidon btw) would react to a young woman who has a very strong connection to the Spirits being sent to teach Zelda how to unlock her power? Like it's a young woman, around 18 years old, who has a natural ability to communicate with all manner of Spirits, maybe even is part Spirit in some way, so she gets appointed by the King of Hyrule to teach Zelda how to do the same? And maybe she's super nice and excited too? Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!!

oh darling you're totally fine i really appreciate it :D

i hope i did this justice! it's a really neat concept

i also made it an x reader with those attributes if that's okay :)

~~~~~~

Hylia's Guide

[BOTW x fem!Reader]

Headcanons (Link, Zelda, Revali, Sidon)

warnings: none

takes place during Age of Calamity!

also for headcanon's sake,,,,,being a descendant of hylia in this case doesnt mean that you're of the same family? if that makes sense? okay so like reader is descended from hylia and technically so is zelda but they aren't blood related in any way HAHA hope that makes sense

~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~

Let's set the scene, yeah?

You were one of the descendants of Hylia from centuries past, now a ghost in the afterlife as part of the universe itself.

Naturally, you would be surprised when you became sentient once more and blinked open your eyes in the middle of Hyrule Field. In your head rang a soothing voice that you both heard in your head and felt in your bones. In an instant, you knew it was Hylia communicating with your physical form again after years of dormant sleep.

The voice instructed that you were to aid Zelda in her studies of connecting to her powers. Hylia could not intervene directly with Zelda, of course, but the most the Goddess could do was send someone in her place. And that was you: a descendant of Hylia's own bloodline resurrected from the dead come to help the princess in her efforts. Easy enough, right?

Convincing the King and his guards of the situation was difficult, let alone trying to get him to allow you to assist his precious daughter with her practice. The only proof that you had of any story that you told were the markings on your hands and chest.

Three distinct triangles etched themselves on your body: one on the back of each hand and the third on your chest. Your powers had long since been passed on to the next descendant of Hylia, but you were still full of the knowledge of how to use Hylia's gift and how to communicate with the spirits.

•••

Link

Link was wary of you at first, being the princess's appointed knight and all, but he soon figured that you weren't as much of a threat as he initially thought

You were kind and excited to meet someone else who also held Hylia's gift (albeit not necessarily awakened, but still) and Link knew that Zelda would be safe in your hands

While going on spiritual treks with Zelda and Link, you almost always made the meals because both Zelda and Link can't really cook lmao

Coming from an entirely different era, you had a big book of recipes in your head that you brought into reality with every meal you made, and Link definitely wasn't complaining

He appreciated your wide breadth of knowledge of different foods, plants, and wildlife that you might encounter on your travels

It made planning protective measures for the princess all the easier

Sometimes the ventures to connect to Hylia didn't bear any fruit (and that's okay because the gift takes plenty of patience!) and the mood could become solemn quickly

But you were always determined to lift the mood and lighten everyone's attitude, and it always worked!

You would excitedly ramble off stories about where you grew up or what you liked to do on your own travels back in the day, and it would always make Link feel warm that you had such fond memories you were willing to share with him

When Zelda needed time to herself to try to connect to the spirits and Hylia, you and Link would hang around each other and bond

Link would listen attentively as you talked about the cultural and time differences between your world and this one, sharing sympathy when you expressed nostalgia over your time lost

But you would quickly turn it around to the positives, which is what Link thought was a wonderful quality that you had

If you ever got caught off guard while on ventures by the Yiga Clan or rogue animals, Link would fight just as hard as he would in larger battles to keep you safe

Over the time you spent together, Link grew very fond of you and always was at your side if he wasn't immediately attending to the princess

Once your guidance and knowledge finally broke through to Zelda and her power awakened, Link was so proud of you for fulfilling your duty

He was worried that you would disappear from his life once you completed Hylia's task, but you connected to the spirits after the fact and bargained with them

At the end of it all, you were able to live your life through again with Link by your side :)

•••

Zelda

Goddess was Zelda relieved when she found out that she would be having a guide to help her unlock her powers

Upon meeting you, she was absolutely floored with your kindness and willingness to help her with her problems

You were a wonderful mentor to Zelda, teaching her things about the different spirits and how to harness the power that she never would have dreamed of researching on her own

And wow there was a lot of information HAHA

Zelda was also transfixed with the fact that you came from another lifetime, and you were more than happy to tell her all about your life before this one

She would also take very detailed notes about everything you said, enamored with the way you spoke and how excited you got about things you loved

Quiet study time in Zelda's room would often turn into challenges of you trying to make her laugh with small tidbits of stupid stunts you would pull

Of course Zelda couldn't hold back a smile when you were around, so the challenges would fall short but with you falling into fits of laughter

You always brightened Zelda's mood whenever she was down about a failed connection attempt, urging her to try more and be patient with herself

Zelda was thankful to Hylia for sending you because honestly she wouldn't know what to do without someone that was as kind and generous as you were with spreading knowledge about your gifts

And when they finally awakened, Zelda couldn't be more happy!

Hyrule was now safe with Zelda's power awakened and Ganon on the edge of being sealed away

She pleaded that you find a way to stay in her time and teach her more about the spirits and Hylia herself

Your heart warmed at the thought that someone wanted you to stay, and it warmed even more at the fact that someone loved you enough to want to keep you forever :)

•••

Sidon

Sidon met you when he was summoned with the other Champion successors

You were the first to greet him and explain what had happened with the time jumping and all that, and you helped to put his nerves at ease

His own excitable and boisterous personality bounced off of your own energy and buzz!

Fighting side by side with you, Sidon admired how you always had a strategy and were looking out for Zelda as if she was your own sister

He was surprised upon learning your story: never had he known that Hylia had the power like that to bring someone back to help those in the present

Sidon tried his best to stay by your side whenever he could, wanting to keep your blind spots covered just in case

In your time, you had known the Zora and actually knew King Dorephan when he was a young little guppy, and your stories of Dorephan never failed to make Sidon laugh

Sidon in turn shared his own tales of the evolved Zora Domain, and you found his storytelling absolutely captivating

Sidon felt a pull to you like he had to no one else before, and he nurtured that pull with his own heart

He made sure you had enough supplies, checked in on you immediately when you came back from a far off mission

Just an all around softie I think! Sidon has always been caring like that :)

When it was time for him to go back, you discovered a way that you could jump with him back to his own time

After all, your mission with Zelda from Hylia was over. Why shouldn't you be able to live your life through again?

You jumped back with Sidon to a world vastly different than the one you had just been in, and even more different than the one you were born into

But with Sidon, it always felt like home!

•••

Revali

Revali didn't want to be impressed, but he was Definitely Impressed

Your composure about the whole situation was amazing, and you handled all the questions everyone had with grace

And your kindness was overwhelming (in a good way) with the fact that you opened your mind to such possibilities of even being resurrected like that

Revali admired you through and through

He would be incessantly curious about what the afterlife was like, how the spirits communicated with you, what Hylia was like

You, of course, couldn't accurately answer most questions because, well, you couldn't remember, but you appreciated his desire to learn

You loved the way that he fought: with purpose and intent. There was little to no hesitation with Revali, he always had a plan

When you would go to treks with Zelda and Link to try to summon Zelda's power, Revali would make comments here and there insisting that he tag along just in case

Poor Rito really just wanted to spend more time with you, that's all!

If he did tag along, it would be to Lanayru with his knowledge of the cold weather

He would rattle off safety facts of mountain weather and gear you would need, and you would be happy to listen as long as he was talking to you

Revali would also love to hear about your old life, and since you could go on for hours about it all, he would sit and absorb everything that came out of your mouth

He was smitten in a matter of weeks!

He could see the care and sympathy you had for Zelda as she struggled and triumphed in her process of opening her powers, and he appreciated that you could care so much for someone like that

Revali subconsciously protected you even if there was a leaf that fell in the way of your path, as he was always on alert in case someone caught you off guard

As your time came to a close and Zelda awakened her powers, Revali demanded that you stay (with love, of course)

And stay you did, making a bargain with the spirits and living the rest of your second life in the company of the Rito warrior :)

~~~~~~~~~

hope i got this good!! i thought the concept was really neat and i kinda wished they did something like that actually :/ zelda didn't deserve that angst

requests are welcome :)

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amazonworrier · 2 years

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"Your fics suck.”

Today I received anon hate. It’s not the first time, nor will it be the last, and it was far from the most creative insult I’d ever read. Someone within one of my fandoms had taken issue with another anonymous comment I reposted several months ago, and decided today was the day to punish me for it. Among the multiple asks I received from them, one particular message got under my skin more than it should’ve:

“And your fics suck btw, no one cares about your ships.”

Like I said, it’s far from the most creative insult out there. As someone with plenty of writing accolades under my belt and a thriving career in the industry, it also did little to diminish my confidence in my abilities. What it did do, though, was have me strongly reconsider posting an update on one of my fics today.

I thought twice.

My first thought was ‘oh, maybe my fics do suck.’ Maybe these silly little fics I write about my crackships to wind down at the end of a long work day aren’t half as good as the work I get paid for. In fact, they definitely aren’t. I’m doing it in downtime, for FREE, usually drunk or half-asleep. I have an embarrassing tendency to do my final proof-read at 4am, before hitting publish on Ao3, and nearly always make a mental note to go back and check later, which never actually happens. So, maybe this random anonymous user, who obviously can’t stand me and is trying to make me feel bad, actually has a point. Maybe my fics suck, and maybe nobody cares about them. Maybe, like I joked about in my response to that particular ask, there’s no point sharing them after all.

It’s not like I’m getting paid for this sh*t, right?

My second thought was of a particular user who once reached out anonymously to thank me for my fics. They’d been having a particularly rough time lately and looked forward to my regular updates because there weren’t many good fics out there for their favourite pairing. But they asked me not to respond to the ask, so instead I wrote another fic for them.

They cared about my ship.

That then reminded me of another user, who sent me a beautiful string of messages over the holidays recently, to let me know that like many of us, they’d been struggling a lot with the death of a person who’d meant a great deal to us within the fandom. For them, my fics had become something they now revisited often. Something that helped them process their emotions, and feel more connected with people who understood their grief better than their friends or family could. They are far from the first person to have reached out to me with a similar sentiment, and they weren’t the last. In fact, I’ve lost track of the number of people who’ve gotten in touch with me by way of comment thread, tumblr ask or direct message in the last couple of years to thank me, because that silly little fic I once wrote at 3am about a stupid crackship nobody cares about got them through some troubling times and is their favourite fic now. They’ve reread it more times than I ever bothered to proof the damn thing prior to publishing. They have questions about it that I never bothered to come up with answers to!

I’m not writing this post because I care about that particular anon anymore. I’m writing it because “your fics suck” is a horrible message to receive, and it occurred to me that for someone starting out it could prove enough to discourage them from ever writing enough to get better. So, if anyone is reading this and contemplating whether or not to post that sh*tty one-shot, or that piece of art with dodgy line-work that you’re secretly quite proud of because you’ve never managed to capture your favourite actor’s face that well before, I’d like to urge you to think twice before posting.

Once, for the bitter, hateful asshole who will take great delight in letting you know how much you suck.

Then twice, for the person whose day ends up being just that little bit brighter for having viewed your work.

(It’s also totally okay if that second person is you).

#writing things #fandom #fanfic #fanart #inspo #writing inspo #fandom positivity #naya rivera

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crushzone · 4 years

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omg can i request relationship hc with kei tsukishima as well

Absolutely, anon!! Only makes sense for the other Tsukki to get his love too. Here’s my relationship with Akiteru HC if you wanna check that out.

I’m also sorry my headcanons always turn into short semi-fic hybrids, I just get too invested in my imagination and Kei was a lot of fun to write for hehee.

Thank you @tedwardos and @nonexistent-social-life for bouncing some ideas with me, and coming up with Tsukkisaur HAHA. You guys are amazing. 😘💞

Being in a Relationship with Kei Tsukishima 👓🦖

How it all began:

Truthfully, I do not see Kei as someone who would fall in love or have a crush on anyone that easily. Therefore, I believe it would be appropriate if you are Yamaguchi’s distant relative who went to the same school.

As we all know, Yams would get bullied often in middle school, and even when he tried to stand up for himself, he gets pushed back down. So that’s why you always try to intervene, physically throwing your body between the bully and your relative with your bravest face.

However, they would just push you aside and go back to bullying Yams :(. You felt pretty dang helpless and very upset that you've been brushed off like a piece of garbage.

So as you are readying to tackle one of them, you stop when you hear an unfamiliar voice behind you. “Lame.”

You turn around angrily, thinking that it was directed at you, but is surprised when the tall blonde boy is looking above you, at the bullies.

One of them runs over to pick a fight with him, but he simply towers over them. Tsukki: “What?” then at that, they all run away, leaving you and Yams behind. You’re still unsure if he was also referring to you, but when you turn to look at the admiration in your relative’s eyes, you can’t help but look down at the bruises on your knees pathetically.

All these times you’ve spent trying to protect him, only ends in failure, and then this boy comes by and saves him with barely any effort. You were rather jealous, and felt discredited, so you try to avoid Kei at all costs. Even just the sight of him walking by in the halls irk you.

And to your dismay, you are a little horrified to see that Yamaguchi had befriended him and is now constantly by his side. He’d asked you to hangout with him, and get to know Kei better, but you keep denying his efforts.

Meanwhile, the only thing Kei knows about you is your name, through Yams. But he doesn’t really know or care about you tbh, he’s got other things he’d rather be focused on, like volleyball.

THEN one day, Yamaguchi tells you that he is joining the volleyball team in middle school, and it would mean a lot to him if you go see Karasuno’s match with him and Kei.

You wanted to say no, but you love your relative, so you decided to go.

When you’re there, you never really spoke to Kei, only sticking to conversations with Yams. Then when you get to where the game is, you notice Kei’s awfully silent as he scans the court, not seeing his brother anywhere.

You wonder why he’s grown silent, but then when this one kid stalks over with a magazine in hand, saying that his brother is not even on the sidelines, you decide to shove the kid away because he’s being so annoying.

“Kei...let’s go.” You say, as you try to tug him away from the hood of his jacket. To your surprise, he follows you silently with his head down.

Tbh, you don’t really know the whole picture of what had happened, but he looks so down and vulnerable after the game, so you spent the rest of the day, trying to cheer him up with Yams.

Then the next day, you stop by his class during lunch to see how he’s doing, and is surprised to see that his demeanor had changed drastically. The sparkles in his eyes no longer there, as he ignores you when he steps out of homeroom.

That upsets you initially, but then you realize that whatever had just happened is probably a much bigger deal to him than his rude behavior just now. So you suck it up, and jog up to him, so you can walk to the canteen together, in silence.

He’s never expressed it, but your quiet presence is actually really comforting.

Then the next day, you do that again. And again. Before you know it, it became a thing for you and Kei to walk to lunch together. Sometimes, he’ll be the one to come over to your homeroom before you could go to his. “It’s nothing. My class just got out earlier, so I’m giving your lazy legs a break.”

Yamaguchi notices you and him getting closer over time, and it makes him very happy.

You begin to notice his subtle acts of thoughtfulness, such as when he’ll only eat half of his lunch so he can offer the other half to you; he knows you are absolutely in love with his mother’s cooking. It made you feel really bad because you don’t have a bento to offer him back; your parents are usually very busy so they don’t have time to pack you lunch, but you’ve been okay with that.

The fact that you love his mother’s cooking also got him feeling a little smug tbh.

Because of this, you’d try to cook something for your own lunch. But c’mon, you are just a 6th grader, unsupervised in the kitchen (lol), so you could only make something as simple as peanut butter and jelly HAHA.

So the next day, when it’s lunch again, and Tsukki offers you half of his food (Or more like, pretending that he can’t finish it and didn’t want to throw his food in the trash), you scramble to pull out your sloppily wrapped sandwich and offer the other half to him with a big grin.

It got him laughing at how ridiculous your sandwich looks, it’s not appetizing at all.

But just when you’re about to wrap it back up with a pout, he grabs it from your hand before smoothly sliding his food over to you. “This looks awful”, he’ll say as he takes a bite, getting some peanut butter on his cheeks.

You’re surprised he took it, and can’t help but feel a strange flutter in your heart when you see his ears redden, his gaze avoiding yours.

The next day, Tsukki shows up with two bento boxes, and hands one to you with a blush. “I told my mom about your awful sandwich, so she decided to make an extra bento.”

And when you are just standing there in awe at his thoughtfulness, he gets even more flustered as he shakes it around. “Do you want this or not?”

Of course you took it, and you are BEAMING when you eat. Tsukki can’t help but accidentally smile at how endearing you are. “Idiot.”

Yamaguchi also noticed that btw. So he’s got a plan haha ;)

Ever since that day, Yams would occasionally back out from hangouts or events just so the two of you can spend some alone time together.

You and Tsukki being smarties, TOTALLY notice Yams’ attempts. The first time you figured it out, awkwardness turns on like a freaking switch. Suddenly neither of you know what to say or do, because the idea of being matched is hella embarrassing.

But then you were like, “It’s not weird if you don’t make it weird. We also don’t have to acknowledge his attempts and treat this like the usual.” So at that, you go back to talking like usual.

Tsukki is definitely a lot softer when you are alone with him, he doesn’t tease you AS much and is very thoughtful.

Now that you three are in the same high school, Yams would still do that!! And he is low-key frustrated as to why his plans are working so slowly >:( Get yourself together guys, you clearly like each other!

When you had to buy a bunch of textbooks, Yams got you to go with Tsukki alone and he carried all your books haha. Even went to get your uniforms together, and you helped him pick his size.

You two are around each other all the time, and are very comfortable about it. Everyone in school think you are an item, even teachers and fellow parents. Hell, even your own parents thought you two had been dating since middle school. But no one really brought it up, because....well, it’s not like it’s an issue or anything, they’re all just happy you’re happy.

However, neither of you know that’s what the others had been thinking, so you’re a little confused when people keep asking you where Tsukki is, or when they do the same to him. Like, I’m not his parents, how am I going to know where he is all the time. You may think that, but you both ALWAYS know about each other’s whereabouts somehow lol.

Honestly, you two don’t even acknowledge each other’s looks or changes, when you see him, it’s just him and his sassy attitude you’ve grown accustomed to. Well...and his tall bum, cuz your neck starts to hurt a little more than it usually does whenever you look up at him. UNTIL....DUN DUN DUNNN

It’s Valentine’s Day, and different students all over campus are slipping love notes into lockers, some leave roses on their crush’s table, while female students are handing out their giri and honmei choco to their male friends and crushes.

It totally flew past your head that it is Valentine’s day, so when you walk over to your locker with Tsukki and Yams that morning (you always walk to school together and your lockers are right next to each other’s), you are surprised to see 6 love letters fall from yours.

You: 😳 Yams: 😦 (he’s still a heavy believer in you and Tsukki lol, so he’s worried about competition.) Tsukki: 😶

“I see you got some admirers.“ He says casually, turning to unlock his own locker. Little did you know, he’s trying to suppress his curiosity....and jealousy?? Who could it be? When did they put those letters in your locker. How creepy.

You turn to him, wondering if he also got some letters in his locker, and your heart sinks when he pulls out one, nonchalantly ripping the beautiful packaging with his thumb to read its contents. He flips it around in his hand, trying to see if it’s got a name on it, but there were none.

The entire time when you are in class, you can’t help but wonder who had sent Tsukki that letter. The fact that it was the only one, makes you a lot more nervous too. What if it IS the one...and why would you care so much if it is. You’d be happy for him....right?

Meanwhile, Tsukki’s thoughts are also occupied as he sits in class, by the window. Since when has Y/n been so popular. Will you spend time with him and Yams if you found someone? What about you is so attractive....oh....shit. YEA boy, you’ve ALWAYS been attractive, but he never noticed.

Then lunch rolls around, and you are waiting for Tsukki to meet you by your homeroom, since he’d mentioned earlier that he’ll be the one to swing by. But he never came...:(

And it’s not that he forgot. As he’s about to step out of his homeroom to go to yours, an unfamiliar feminine voice calls out to him, and when he turns around, a girl is offering him her honmei choco. 🤭 He’s SHOOK, but then he quickly realizes that she’s probably the one who slipped the letter in his locker.

Nice Tsukki activated, because I don’t think he’s actually MEAN mean, ya know? “Thank you.” He says, as he takes the chocolate from her with a neutral expression. “But I’m currently seeing someone.”

The girl looks to him with a sad smile, so close to the verge of tears. “That’s ok! I hope you’ll enjoy it though, thank you for being honest!” She says, quickly running down the hall. He felt bad, but he’s more confused about why he had said what he did. That was dumb, I’m not seeing anyone, he scolds himself, walking off to your homeroom while shaking his head incredulously.

When he gets to you, he feels guilty at the sight of you sitting by your homeroom, fingers fiddling sadly. “Why do you look like you’re in some emotional music video?” At the sound of his voice, you spring up to punch his abs jokingly, low key impressed at how rock solid they were haha. “What took you forever!! Did you have diarrhea or something?”

But he never responded, instead, opting to flick your forehead gently before walking off. “Some girl approached me, probably the one who slipped that letter in my locker.”

You let go of your forehead, instead feeling a hitch in your throat for some reason. When he didn’t hear your response, he stops walking. “But I told her I got you guys.”

Your face WARMS TF OUT, but you are hella happy, immediately bouncing up to him. “Is Kei finally willing to show his friends some love and affection?” You tease him as you burst out laughing. You’re sorry for the girl, but for some reason, you’re happy, happy to know that you are not going to lose him to somebody else.

Then during lunch, as Kei’s unpacking his boxes, handing one of his extra bentos to you, his face turns BRIGHT red when he notices this adorable packaging with home made chocolate in it. The note is written in his mother’s handwriting: For anybody your heart decides to give this present to! Love, Mom.

“Are you okay?” Yams asks as he peers over his shoulder, eyes widening when he sees what Tsukki’s been staring at for the past minute. You look over at them suspiciously, already chewing on some food in bliss. “It’s nothing.” He mumbles, quickly tying and setting the bag down. Ok, sus, but you’ll let it pass.

For the second half of his day, he can barely focus on school, wondering if you’d find it strange for him to give you those chocolates. But he’s also a little afraid to go home with it, fearing that he’d make his mother sad. He could eat it himself and lie, but that also feels wrong.

By the time he’s done with practice and is helping the team wrap up the gym, you poke your head in through the entrance with a smile. You also have your own after school club and it usually finishes a few minutes before volleyball practice does, so you make it a thing to walk home with two of your favorite boys.

Also, at this point, you go there all the time, so you’ve become well acquainted with the entire team. It would bother Tsukki how Noya and Tanaka always does some of the dumbest things to try to impress you, or the way the other members would cast longing glances at you, before returning to what they were doing. Even the third years can’t help but smile a little wider and stand up a little straighter when you greet them.

“I’m going to run to the restroom before we leave.” Yams says, when he notices the way Tsukki is fiddling with his headphone cord, constantly casting hesitant glances at you.

Screw it. Tsukki decides, when he’s finally alone with you again. This is my last chance. “Oi, idiot.” He says, tearing your gaze away from the bright moon and the stars that sprinkles the night sky.

There he is, with the chocolate in his outstretched hand, looking hella flustered. “T-Take it.” He stutters, mentally cursing at how embarrassed he is, he can’t even look you in the eye.

Your entire body warms, as you could feel a tingly sensation on your cheeks and ears, slowly reaching to grab the chocolate from his trembling hands, still at a loss for words.

“Kei...” You begin, but he quickly counters, looking away. “My mother made it.”

"Ah...” You respond quietly, suddenly feeling really sad because you thought he had feelings for you.

He notices the sadness in your tone. “And you’re ok, I guess.”

You remain silent for a moment, a smile slowly painting your lips, as you continue to stare at the tiny red box of chocolate in hand. Then he’s caught off guard when he feels your gentle fingers, timidly curling to the side of his large palm. He looks to you in surprise; it was too spontaneous for him to put his walls back up.

“I like you too, Kei.” You respond with a smile, that only widens when he shyly returns your gesture, long fingers curling over yours. “let’s share this! there’s three pieces in here.”

When Yamaguchi returns, the three of you share a piece, humming in delight when the deliciousness and richness of the chocolate lather your taste buds.

Earlier Stages

WHEEEW sorry the backstory was so long, I just think that’s one of the few ways I’d ever see a relationship with him form: through time.

And like any other aspects of your relationship, both in regards to intimacy and communication, it’s also going to take him some time to acclimate and adjust. He’s doing his best, everyday, mentally beating himself when he fails.

You know how harsh he can be to himself, so you try to cut him some slack by becoming more observant. Constantly teaching yourself to learn his micro-signs and sighing in frustration every time you misread him.

However, Tsukki notices your attempt, and is incredibly grateful. He’ll make things a little easier for you, because he can see how much it stresses you to do so. He’ll try to communicate more, eventually telling you how he feels, though he’ll admit, it does feel very awkward in the beginning. Overtime, you’re both helping each other grow in the communication department.

On days when you have no clue how to read him and is feeling overwhelmed, Akiteru is always there for you to consult! Well...it’s actually usually the other way around tbh.

That being said, you GOTTA be patient with him. He will be sassy, and he will be even sassier when you get into arguments, or when you’ve accidentally annoyed him.

However, because you’ve known him for a LONG time, you’ve learnt to translate his saltiness into kinder words haha. (kinda like what Hinata does with Kageyama lol)

You’re always by him, and apologizing on his behalf when he annoys someone.

However, if the person he’s accidentally annoyed expresses their hatred for him to you, you will always defend him because you know that he’s really great person and that his attitude is just a defense mechanism to prevent himself from getting hurt.

But there will be days when you really wish he could shed that wall and realize that he has friends and families who love him dearly and will support him no matter what. But you know that it’s not something that could happen over night, it’s just a wish that he would slowly walk down that path one day.

You are grateful though, so very grateful, because when Tsukki is alone with you, there is never a moment when he’d allow himself to put up that wall. He refuses, finally finding relief in relaxing his defenses for once, because it can get tiring sometimes.

In fact, all those walls that he put up, is probably the reason why he can’t really hangout around others for too long, he needs to be alone and recharge. So the fact that he’s able to relax around you, means that his “alone time” will almost always include you.

His eyes remain soft, as he always looks at you with a subtle glint to his golden orbs and an upward curve to his lips.

And when he laughs, he does so freely. Even Akiteru is surprised when he accidentally overhears it from his bedroom.

His mother still cooks you lunch, so whenever you’d go to his house for a study session, you ask her if she could teach you how to cook, and that made her SO happy. It becomes a thing now; you two would cook and sing along with one another in the kitchen before you excuse yourself to study.

His mother and brother loves you SO much. Sure, they’ve known you for a long time, because you and Yams would come over often and hangout, but it’s never been just you and Tsukki. So now that you’re together, they have the chance to chit chat with you alone.

You’re basically like a daughter to his mother, because let’s be real, as much as she loves her sons, she’s always wanted at least another woman in the house to hangout with.

When Akiteru visits home, he’ll bring some interesting comics or things for you to geek out about together. At one point, Kei even got jealous enough that he’d come join you guys by the porch, softly playing his music on the phone.

Speaking of music, he likes to create playlists and sends them to you. Whenever it’s just you and him on your way to the canteen together, he’ll offer you one side of his ear piece, so you can listen to music together on your way there.

You both take your relationship VERY slowly, and that’s perfectly fine. It took you over 2 months into your relationship to hold hands outside the comfort of your homes, and 4 to share your first kiss.

FIRST KISS 💋: It was during lunch break, when you and Kei decide to enjoy your meal at the roof of an academic building. Yams was busy with something else at the time, so he promises to join you a little later. The two of you are alone, ear piece in one ear each, with shoulders and knees touching, then suddenly, you feel an urge to shift your gaze to him. As if your minds are one, he did the same, but instead of feeling embarrassment from your sudden eye contact, you slowly lean to one another, like the ocean, magnetized by the moon, sharing the most innocent, gentle kiss, before pulling back to look into each other’s orbs. It was so gentle, like a breeze that tickles the bottom of your lips when you exhale. It was very nice.

Since that day, the two of you begin to experiment in private, like kissing a little more passionately when you catch him gazing at you again mid-studying. You even tried cuddling, and you LOVE it.

I can’t even begin to express how wonderful it feels like to cuddle someone tall (looking at you, Lev boi 😉), the way his long limbs drape over yours, big warm hands massaging your shoulders comfortingly as you breathe in the clean scent of his sweater.

However, cuddles don’t happen often, except for special occasions when you both feel extra needy or exhausted. He’s never really been a touchy person. Hand holding is fine, but constant cuddling just makes him feel like he’d rather be doing something else.

BUT, here’s the trick. If you request for some song recommendations, so he can play it on his speaker, while you crawl up to him on the bed, with your head on his chest, he’ll never be able to reject you. He’ll readjust himself comfortably, removing his glasses, before turning you sideways to face his chest, as he tucks his chin over your head, legs entwined. If this is the case, you can lay there for hours, listening to different songs until you fall asleep.

Loves it when you wear his oversized clothes, but will never admit it. You know he likes it because he always offer you his clothes when you come over, just so you can be comfortable while studying with him. (I’d never say no to that.)

Also likes it how his scent lingers to you, even when you change back into your school uniform so you can head home.

Just generally a big scent, kind of guy, He’s one of those people who ALWAYS smells good and has great olfaction. Whenever you smell a little like him, he WILL notice, and it always makes his heart flutter, as he stands up a little taller.

He’ll also walk you home from his house, no matter how late it is, and he will always make sure you’ve gone INTO your house, and hears your lock click, before returning.

Never understands why you always make him promise to text you when he gets home though, but he’ll never forget to do it.

Likes to lean on you jokingly, use you as an armrest, regardless of your height.

Whenever Yamaguchi jokes about how he feels like a third wheel, you’ll always joke back that Tsukki is actually the odd one here, cuz you are related haha. He’ll flick your forehead softly as your punishment.

Your pet names are always something endearingly mean, like “Idiot, sodium man, sassy pants, salt shaker 🧂, or four eyes.”

His teammates always tease him about you; honestly, they’re all very surprised that he’s capable of being in a relationship, but they’re happy for him. Daichi always has to shush them all down, because it can get a little out of hand sometimes with all of them bombarding him at once.

Long Term:

Post-honeymoon phase, babyyy.

Space, lots of space. You’re both very independent, and are introverts, so during the day, you’ll do your own thing, but he’ll meet up with you for lunch and dinners to spend some time together, in comfortable silence.

You’ve been leaving a lot of things at his house, so he neatly gathers it all into one corner of his room, so you can access it with ease when you sleep over.

Both your parents became best friends, so they’re totally cool with either of you sleeping over, even when it is a spontaneous decision.

You are comfortable to say “no” to one another, and that includes social gathering as well. If Tsukki is feeling too socially anxious to join you for a party, you’re totally ok with that, and likewise, when his team hangs out, he understands that they can be a little overwhelming sometimes.

But that doesn’t mean that you both don’t try. He mentally take notes of all the times he’s said no, and will only do it at times when he really do not feel like it. And if you ever feel like he’s been a little too distant, he wants you to tell him that directly, so he can avoid coming off that way.

Sass level increases overtime because he knows you can take it, lol.

Would totally do something like this to you, regardless of your height.

If you are smol, he will definitely do this too, and Yams will react the same way as shown. >>>>

You’ve grown immune to his sass, and may have adopted some. However, it’ll usually only come out in arguments. You’re still that nice approachable person, who deliver other people’s messages for him, to him (Because they’re too afraid to approach him directly.)

Definitely opens up to you more, if he hasn’t already been, because he knows he can trust you, and trust is a VERY big thing for him. This boy’s got some trust issues, yk?

He’s a little more adventurous now; it used to be so difficult to convince him to go somewhere new or exciting with you, but after years of pestering him to go places, he realizes, as he’s standing in the middle of a hike, lush green leaves surrounding him from all sides, that maybe this is not so bad after all.

You and Yams keep bringing new activities for him to try, and for 70% percent of those attempts, he actually says yes.

LOVES it when you give head massages, but he always complains that you are messing his hair.

Stargazing after dinner had become a routine for you. You’ll both lay, head to head, bodies the opposite direction, with your fingers interlaced next to each other’s heads. Sometimes, you’ll even drift off into a short nap, and he’s fine with that because your hand feels very nice in his.

Your presence had encouraged him to become closer to his family: you two will help his mother pack up and wipe down the table after dinner, while Akiteru washes the dishes. Sometimes, you’ll wave a curious Akiteru over to join you and Kei on horror movie nights. His mother even joined for 1 whole minute, before she leaves, saying that it’s too scary for her, leaving you three to throw some funny/judgmental remarks at how silly the characters are being.

He’s also a big supporter of your interests, though he will never admit or fully show that he is, if that makes any sense. For instance, if you are in the robotics team, he will educate himself on its process and some technical solutions and will help you build your robot at home. When you ask him how he knows about all this, he just responds with something like “I don’t know, I just guessed.”

If you are interested in something more performative, like if you’re into ballet, for instance, he will always show up to your performances with Yams (and Akiteru, because he really wants to see his future sister-in-law killing it). However, he’ll also respect your decision if you tend to feel more nervous with him there, in that case, he’ll just send you a text that says “You’ll do great. 🦖” or “Don’t fall on your bum 🤡” right before the show begins. It always makes you laugh when you read it in his monotonous voice.

You just know that he only uses emojis when he think his texts sounds unintentionally sarcastic or too short. lol. He’s just not too great at texting, ok?

When it comes to cheering for Tsukki, you share the same type of support. You’d LOVE to go to all of his matches, to be there for him and show how proud you are. But if he’s really uncomfortable, then you understand that too.

He secretly loves it when you go cheer him though, it really brightens up his match, especially when he’s in one with a tougher opponent. To look up to the sea of growing Karasuno supporters and see your smile shine brighter than all the others, restores his energy like the sun.

Somehow, Tanaka and Noya always notices when he turns to look at you, so they’ll both cling on to him like monkeys, turning to wave at you.

You gladly return their gesture, laughing at Tsukki’s miserable face as you pull your phone out to snap a very zoomed in photo of his pained expression to use as his new contact photo LOL.

“At least, I’m the one in a relationship.” He’ll deadpan, adjusting his frames before walking away quietly with a smug smile. RIP Tanaka and Noya, they’re just rolling on the floor crying for Kiyoko haha.

Also, he has this weird fascination for animals? Well, mainly with dinosaurs. BOTH Tsukishima’s has this fascination, it runs deep in their blood. Oh you prefer whales? Too bad, it’s not as cool.

Whenever Kei recommends some dinosaur-related movies, he’ll try to be low key about his excitement, but you can totally tell that, at this very moment, his body feels like a shell that’s trying to contain the vibration of his happiness. Saying no to his suggestion, will only shatter his little heart. You find this incredibly endearing, for a moment, he reminds you of his younger self, where he would always show up to school in his dinosaur T-shirts.

When you agree to watch it with him, Akiteru ALWAYS emerges out of nowhere, and invites himself to join you. You like to jokingly call them Tsukkisaurs, but Kei will be the only Tsukki to have that name saved in your contact.

We also love some asshole Tsukki moment ✨: He likes to call you Godzilla when you are on your period and is feeling bloated. You were a lil offended at first because, WHICH RENDITION OF GODZILLA is he referring to? It better not be the 2014 one, because it looked a little chubbier than the original.

He confirms, without hesitation, that it IS the 2014 rendition, just to piss you off lol. Then he shows you his phone, to confirm that he had you down as Godzilla on his contact, with this image as your profile:

But if you are actually feeling self conscious about your body that day, he will sigh and pull you to his chest. “Idiot, you look just fine to me, the way you are.”

And he meant it.

He may be inclined to appear indifferent and cynical at times, but he KNOWS you can see right through him. The idea of showing vulnerability to anyone at all, was daunting, but you embraced him with so much love and acceptance, he wishes that he’s proven his love for you enough.

And he has, you understand him so well. You appreciate all his subtle signs of affection and thoughtfulness, and you would never ask for it any other way. This is him...it’s who he is to you: your best friend and lover, perfectly imperfect in every way.

———

Taglist (open): @shhhlikeme @ceo-of-daichi @karasu-hoes @super-noya @nonexistent-social-life @scorpiosanssexy @tedwardos

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snarktheater · 3 years

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Hey, d'you have any French book recs? I'm trying to work on my French, and rn I have downloaded one of my favourite book series' French translations, but I figured maybe books already written in French might work better? Also have you read the Ranger's Apprentice series? 1/2

RA's def flawed - the books' narration does like to point bright arrows at the protagonists' intelligence, and the last few books def have the tone of 'old white man trying to write feminism', although at least he's trying? - and it's aimed more to the younger side of YA, but it is still a very fun series, and I can ignore the flaws fairly easily, at least partly due to nostalgia? This rather long lol but I'm wordy.

I'll start with the second question: no, although every time the series is brought up I have to check the French title and go "oh, right, I've seen these books in stores". But I've never purchased or read them. It sounds like something I probably would have enjoyed as a teen but I just missed the mark, and these days I'm trying to drown myself in queer books, so that probably isn't happening.

As for your first question, geez, I haven’t read a French book in years, so this is gonna skew middle grade/YA, though that may not be so bad if the point is to learn the language. I will also say that as a result, these may read a little outdated.

I'll put it under a cut, even if Tumblr has become really bad with correctly displaying read mores. Sorry, mobile crowd.

It's also likely that old readers of the blog will have seen me talk about most of these. I don't feel like going through old posts.

One last thing: while I was curating this list I took the time to make a Goodreads shelf to keep track of those.

The Ewilan books by Pierre Bottero

(It's a testament to how long ago I read these books that these are not the covers of the edition I own, and I can't even find those on Google. I'm settling for a more recent cover anyway since it'll make it easier to find them, presumably)

There are at least three trilogies (that I know of) set in the same world.

The first trilogy is essentially an isekai (so, French girl lands in parallel fantasy world by accident) with elements of chosen one trope, though I find the execution makes it worth the while anyway.

The second trilogy is a direct sequel, so same protagonist but new threat, and the world gets expanded.

The third one is centered around a supporting characters from the previous books, and the first couple of books in it are more her backstory than a continuation, though the third one concludes both that trilogy and advances the story of the other books as well.

Notably these books have a really fun magic system where the characters "draw" things into existence. It's just stuck with me for some reason.

A bunch of stuff by Erik L'Homme

I have read a lot of this man's books, starting with Le Livre des Etoiles.

They also skew towards the young end of YA, arguably middle grade, I never bothered to figure out where to draw the line. They're coincidentally also using the premise of a parallel world to our own (and yes, connected to France again, the French are just as susceptible of writing about their homeland), but interestingly are set from the point of view of characters native to the parallel world.

It also has a very unique magic system, this one based on a mix of a runic alphabet and sort-of poetry. I'll also say specifically for these books that the characters stuck with me way more than others on this list, which is worth mentioning.

This trilogy is my favorite by Erik L'Homme, but I'll also mention Les Maîtres des brisants, which is a fantasy space opera with a pirate steampunk(?) vibe. I think it's steampunk. I could be mistaken. But it's in that vein. It's also middle grade, in my opinion not as good, but it could just be that it came out when I was older.

Another one is Phaenomen, which was a deliberate attempt at skewing older (though still YA). This one is set in our (then-)modern world and centers a group of teens who happen to have supernatural powers. I guess the best way to describe it is a superhero thriller? If you take "superhero" in the sense of "people with individualized powers", since they don't really do a lot of heroing.

...I really need to brush up on genre terminology, don't I.

The Ji series by Pierre Grimbert

This one is actually adult fantasy, though it definitely falls under "probably outdated". It is very straight, for starters, and I'd have to give it another read to give a more critical reading of how it handles race (it attempts to do it, and is well meaning, but I'm not sure it survives the test of time & scrutiny, basically).

If I haven't lost you already, the premise is this: a few generations ago, a weird man named Nol gathered emissaries from each nation of the world and took them to a trip to the titular Ji island. Nobody knows what went down here, but now in the present day, someone is trying to kill off all descendants from those emissaries, who are as a result forced to team up and figure out what's going on.

I'm not going to spoil past that, though I will say it has (surprise) a really unique magic system! I guess you can start to piece together what my younger self was interested in. Which, admittedly, I still am.

Once again, this one also has a strong cast of characters, helped by rich world building and the premise forcing the characters to come from many different cultures (though, again, I can't vouch for the handling of race because it's been too long).

The first series is complete by itself, though it has two sequel series as well, each focusing on the next generation in these families. Because yes, of course they all pair up and have kids. Like I said: very straight.

A whole lot of books by Jean-Louis Fetjaine

OFetjaine is a historian, and I guess he's really interested in Arthurian mythos especially, because he loves it so much he's written two separate high fantasy retellings of them! I'm not criticizing, mind you, we all need a hobby.

The former, the Elves trilogy (pictures above) is very traditional high fantasy. Elves, dwarves, orcs, a world which is definitely fictionalized with a pan-Celtic vibe to it. The holy grail and excalibur are around, but they're relics possessed by the elves and dwarves with very different powers than usual. Et cetera.

Fetjaine also really loves his elves (as the titles might imply), and while they're not exactly Tolkien elves, there's a similar vibe to them. If you like Tolkien and his elf boner, you'll probably like this too. And conversely, if that turns you off, these books probably also won't work for you.

This series also has a prequel trilogy, centered around the backstory of one of the main characters. I...honestly don't remember too much about it, but I liked it, so, there you go, I guess.

I said Fetjaine did it twice. The other series is the Merlin duology, which, as the title implies, is a retelling of Merlin's story. Note that Merlin is also in the other trilogy, but it's a different Merlin; like I said, completely different continuities and stories.

This one is historical fantasy, so it's set in actual Great Britain, and Fetjaine attempts to connect Arthur to a "real" historical figure...but, you know, Merlin is also half-elf and elves totally exist in Brocéliande, so, you know. History.

Okay, that's probably enough fantasy, let me give some classics too.

L'Arbre des possibles et autres histoires - Bernard Werber

Bernard Werber is a pretty seminal author of French sci-fi and I should probably be embarrassed that the only book of his that I read was for school, but, it is a really good one, so I'll include it anyway.

It's a novella collection, and when I say "sci-fi" I want to make it clear that it's very old school science fiction. It's more Frankenstein or Black Mirror than Star Trek, what we in French call the anticipation genre of science fiction: you take one piece of technology or cultural norm and project it into the future.

It has a pretty wide range of topics and tones, so it's bound to have some better than others. My personal faves were Du pain et des jeux, where football (non-American) has evolved into basically a wargame, and Tel maître, tel lion, where any animal is considered acceptable as a pet, no matter how absurd it is to keep as a pet. They're both on a comedic end, but there's more heartfelt stuff too.

L'Ecume des Jours - Boris Vian

(no cover because I can't find the one I have, and the ones I find are ugly)

This book is surrealist. Like, literally a part of the surrealist movement. It features things such as a lilypad growing inside a woman's lungs (and, as you well know, lilypads double in size every day, wink wink), the protagonist's apartment becoming larger and smaller to go with his mood and current financial situation, and more that I can't even recall at the moment because remembering this book is like trying to remember having an aneurysm.

It is also really, really fun and touching. Oh, and it has a pretty solid movie adaptation, starring Audrey Tautou, who I think an international audience would probably recognize from Amelie or the Da Vinci Code movie.

I don't really know what else to say. It's a really cool read!

Le Roi se meurt - Eugène Ionesco

Ionesco is somewhat famous worldwide so I wasn't even sure to include him here. He's a playwright who wrote in the "Theater of the Absurd" movement, and this play is part of that.

The premise of this play is that the King (of an unnamed land) is dying, and the land is dying with him. I don't really know what else to say. It's theater of the absurd. It kind of has to be experienced (the published version works fine, btw, no need to track down an actual performance, in my humble opinion).

The Plague - Albert Camus

You've probably heard of this one, and if you haven't, let me tell you about a guy called Carlos Maza

youtube

I'm honestly more including this book out of a sense of duty. The other three are books I genuinely liked and happen to be classics. This book was an awful read. But, um. It's kind of relevant now in a way it wasn't (or didn't feel, anyway) back in 2008 or 2009, when I read it. And I don't just mean because of our own plague, since Camus's plague is pretty famously an allegory for fascism, which my teenage self sneered at, and my adult self really regrets every feeling that way.

Okay, finally, some more lighthearted stuff, we gotta talk about the Belgian and French art of bande dessinée. How is it different from comic books or manga? Functionally, it isn't. It really comes down more to what gets published in the Belgian-French industry compared to the American comics industry, which is dominated by superheroes, or the Japanese manga industry, which, while I'm less familiar with it, I know has some big genre trends as well that are completely separate.

The Lanfeust series - Arleston and Tarquin

This is a YA mega-series, and I can't recommend all of it because I've lost track of the franchise's growth. Also note that I say "YA", but in this case it means something very different from an American understanding of YA. These books are pretty full of sex.

No, when I say YA I mean it has that level of maturity, for better or worse. The original series (Lanfeust de Troy) is high fantasy in a world where everyone has an individual magical ability but two characters find out they're gifted with an absolute power to make anything happen, and while it gets dark at times, it's still very lighthearted throughout, and the humor is...well, I think it's best described as teen boy humor. And it has a tendency to objectify its female characters, as you'll quickly parse out from the one cover I used here or if you browse more covers.

But still, it holds a special place in my heart, I guess. And on my shelves.

The sequel series, Lanfeust des Etoiles, turns it into a space opera, and goes a little overboard with the pop culture reference at times, though overall still maintains that balance of serious/at times dark story and lighthearted comedy.

After that the franchise is utter chaos to me, and I've lost track. I know there was another sequel series, which I dropped partway through, and a spinoff that retold part of the original series from the PoV of the main love interest (in the period of time she spent away from the main group). There was a comedy spin-off about the troll species unique to this world, a prequel series, probably more I don't even know exist.

Les Démons d'Alexia

Something I can probably be a little less ashamed of including here.

Some backstory here. The Editions Dupuis are a giant of the Belgian bande dessinée industry, and for many, many years I was subscribed to their weekly magazine. That magazine was (mostly) made up of excerpts from the various books that the éditions were publishing at the time; those that were made of comic strips would usually get a couple pages of individual scripts, while the ongoing narratives got cut into episodes that were a few pages long (out of a typical 48 page count for a single BD album). Among those were this series.

For the first few volumes, I wasn't super into this series, probably because I was a little too young and smack dab in the middle of my "trying to be one of the boys" phase. But around book 3 I got really invested, to the point where I own the second half of the series because I had canceled by subscription by then but still wanted to know more.

Alexia is an exorcist with unusual talents, but little control, who's introduced to a group that specializes in researching paranormal phenomena, solving cases that involve the paranormal, that kinda stuff.

As a result of the premise, the series has a pretty slow start since it has to build up mystery around the source of Alexia's powers, but once it gets going and we get to what is essentially the series' main conflict, it gets really interesting.

Plus, witches. I'm a simple gay who likes strong protagonists and witches.

Murena

There was a point where my mtyhology nerdery led me to look for more stuff about the historical cultures that created them, and so I'd be super into stuff set in ancient Rome (I'd say "or Greece or Egypt" but let's face it, it was almost always Rome).

Murena is a series set just before the start of Emperor Nero's rule. You know, the one who was emperor when Rome burned, and according to urban legend either caused the fire or played the fiddle while it did (note: "fiddle" is a very English saying, it's usually the lyre in other languages). He probably didn't, it probably was propaganda, but he was a) a Roman Emperor, none of whom were particularly stellar guys and b) mean to Christians, who eventually got to rewrite history. So he's got a bad rep.

The series goes for a very historical take on events, albeit fictionalized (the protagonist and main PoV, the titular Lucius Murena, is himself fictional) and attempts to humanize the people involved in those events. Each book also includes some of the sources used to justify how events and characters are depicted, which is a nice touch.

It's also divided in subseries called "cycles" (books 1-4, 5-8 and the ongoing one starts at 9). I stopped after 9, though I think it's mostly a case of not going to bookstores often anymore. Plus it took four years between 9 and 10, and again between 10 and 11. But the first eight books made for a pretty solid story that honestly felt somewhat concluded as is, so it's a good place to start.

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 3 years

Text

15.12, le tits now, trent baretta

Title: le tits now ( let it snow wrapping paper used wrongly, ftw.)

Theme: Wrapping paper

Fandom / Character(s):Trent Baretta, AEW

Warnings: It’s flirtatious and a little comedy. Oh and definitely over the top fluffy. That’s p. much it.

Word Count: uhhh... roughly 2k.

This is my entry to @champbucks 12 Days Of Christmas Challenge for the day.Listen.. I was shown a picture by my bb @schizoauthoress that I immediately took and ran with. So.. thank them for the inspo. The wrapping paper is supposed to say let it snow, but instead, it’s wrapped horribly enough that it reads le tits now. Annnyway. I went full on sexy rom com funny with this, so I really hope ya’ll like it? I had way too much fun writing it.

BTW>. i made the banner thing. No stealing.

Tagging:

@kyleoreillysknee

@rampagewriting

@writertoo18

@thatnerdwriter

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif

@sassymox

@champbucks

@hungmanhorsecarriage

@wardl0w

@ryantaylorgirl

@dilfmoxley

@hotyeehawman

@gabbynorth98

@bec0m

@irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

@daddyslittlevillain

[ about page | masterlist | tag list ]

The baseball cap was being passed around Catering and for the most part, I ignored it. Only vaguely noticed it. Hell, if I’m being honest, I was only halfway listening to Brandi Rhodes as she explained the ‘rules’ that went along with Secret Santa.

Kris leaned in and elbowed me, whispering with a soft laugh, “I hope I get OC.”

“I don’t care who I get as long as it’s not Hager. Because I can’t punch him in the dick and call it a present to humanity.” I mumbled, shrugging lazily as I scrolled Twitter.

More to the point, I may or may not have been scrolling Trent’s Twitter… For the fourth time that day. As soon as Kris caught onto it, she smiled and teased quietly, “But you’d really like it if you got Trent’s name.. Right?”

“I mean.. I wouldn’t exactly complain.” I answered Kris, putting down my phone and looking up at her, laughing softly. I could feel someone staring at me but I didn’t bother turning around. It was probably Hager again, being gross.. Again.

The baseball cap made it’s way to our table. Kris went first, pulling out a slip of paper.

“Ooh.”

“What’s ooh? Did you get OC?” I asked, teasing a little.

“No, actually.” Kris was giving me this smug little smirk. I pretty well knew she wasn’t going to tell me just yet. And it didn’t really bother me.

I eyed the baseball cap. “Well, here goes nothing. Please baby Jesus in the manger, don’t be Hager. Don’t be Hager..” I reached in and grabbed at two slips, letting the first one settle back in the hat and pulling out the second. I opened it, eyes scrolling over the writing on the page.

“Oh thank god. It’s not Hager.” I may or may not have said it a little too loud, because at the table behind us, I heard Chuck Taylor start snickering, immediately launching into an impersonation of Hager that prompted me to turn and laugh as I nodded and gave him the thumbs up.

“You have to sound dumb as a brick next time though, Chuckie.. Man’s as dumb as a brick.”

“Noted, darlin. Who did you two get, huh?” Chuck asked Kris and I.

“We’re not supposed to tell! That ruins the whole surprise!” Kris’ eyes went wide. I laughed and shook my head. I nodded my head subtly towards Kris when she was preoccupied and Chuck smirked, leaning in to whisper, “Just shove her in a room with Orange. Pretty sure it’ll make both their Christmas real jolly.”

“Noted, Chucky boy.”

Knowing that Chuck was one of exactly 3 people who kind of knew about my little crush on Trent, I leaned in a second later and whispered, “Any idea who got Trent’s name?”

Chuck shrugged but he waited and leaned across the aisle when everybody else was occupied or talking and muttered quietly, “If I find out, I’ll send ‘em your way.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. I got Kris, but I’ve already got her a present or two.” I explained. And honestly, after that I totally forgot about the whole thing.

XXX

“Who did you get, man?” Chuck asked the question because Trent was.. In deep thought mode and hadn’t been listening to at least the last ten minutes of the conversation currently going on around him. The question was enough to pull Trent out of his deep thought and Trent chuckled, raising his hips so that he could dig around in the pockets of his jeans to find the slip of paper he’d drawn earlier that night in Catering when they all drew names.

Chuck took the slip and looked at it, promptly chuckling.

“So you’re going for it, huh?”

“Mhm. Was there any doubt though, Chuckie?”

“Good. Good, man.”

Orange spoke up from the back. “I got Trent.”

Trent chuckled.

“Thinkin about tradin though. Found something I wanted to get Kris.”

Chuck rubbed his chin thoughtfully and filed away what Orange revealed for later. Maybe he’d run into his friend again later, when he didn’t have Trent and Orange hanging around.

Orange eyed Chuck and asked, “Who’d you get?”

“Stunt. I’ll get the kid some guitar strings and a few picks or something. That’ll be a damn breeze.”

“Excuse me, did you say you were trading my name, Orange? I thought we were buds.” Trent pretended to pout and Orange rubbed his chin, smirking as he shrugged. He sank back against the backseat and dragged his fingers through his hair. “We are. Just thought it was time I did something.”

“Yeah, same thing with me. I get it, man.” Trent explained. And he smirked to himself, because he had more than a few ideas just how he could go about what he had in mind.

XXX

I’d just stepped into the hotel lobby when an arm shot out from behind the christmas tree tucked away in the corner. I’d been just about to start swinging when I realized it was Chuckie.

“Dude, what the hell?”

“I have news.”

“Yeah?” I eyed him, wondering what the hell was up. When he explained that he knew who’d gotten Trent’s name and that this person might be willing to trade, especially if I had Kris’ name… I nodded, smirking and giving Chuck a high five. “Take me to this person. Let’s do this. I’m ready for things to… Finally come out.”

Chuck gave me this smirk that gave me the distinct feeling that there was more that he wasn’t saying, but instead of pressing him for it, I chose to follow along. We wound up by the vending machines and while I waited and Chuck texted whoever he was telling me about just a second or two ago, I got myself some junk food and a few sodas for the night, promptly popping the top on a wild cherry Pepsi and taking myself a seat on the floor, my back to the machine.

About a minute later, Orange Cassidy appeared, leaning lazily in the doorway, smirking as he rubbed his chin. “She’s the one, huh?” and he went quiet again, as if he were in thought. “You have Kris’ name?”

“I do, yeah. I already got her presents that I want to give her… Hey, wait… Are you looking for her name specifically?” I flashed Orange a teasing grin and he shrugged, answering with a quiet “Maybe.”

I dug around, producing the slip of paper, holding it out. Orange dug the slip of paper with Trent’s name on it out of his jacket pocket, but before he handed it over, he gave a teasing smirk. “At least you’re cool.”

“I,uh.. Thanks I think?” I dragged my hand through my hair and gave a soft laugh and as we switched names, I asked, “This stays between us… Right?”

“Definitely. See ya around. Chuck, Trent’s looking for you.” Orange nodded towards the check in desk. After another second or two of Chuck teasing me and saying that he should have known I had a thing for Trent because apparently I wasn’t as good at hiding it as I thought I was, Chuck and Orange left, leaving me sitting there to finish off my Pepsi in silence as I waited on the line at the check in desk to die down just a little.

And as I did that, I scoured a few shopping sites, trying to settle on what exactly I wanted to get Trent for Christmas, while mumbling to myself audibly, “I should just show up on the night we’re to meet up face to face in a big red bow…”

From behind me, I heard Kris giggle.

“So you did get Trent…” Kris mused, flopping down to sit beside me. I smiled and nodded. There was absolutely no way I was going to ruin the whole surprise where Orange willingly trading around til he wound up with her name was concerned, so for now, I saw no need in mentioning that I’d traded.

“It might be a little cold for your idea just now.” Kris cautioned and I gave a laugh, shrugging it off. “It was just a thought. I think I’m gonna get him a gag gift the first night.. Something that’ll make him blush.. Oooooh.. Hey.. do you feel like going to that adult store in town with me in the morning before we hit the gym?”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Massage oils. And a new neck pillow for flights. He gets the worst tension in his neck I’ve noticed..”

“Flavored massage oils?” Kris taunted, poking her tongue out at me.

I pretended to be shocked and gaped at her. “I.. Never said that… I mean, not exactly...”

“I know how your mind works, A.” Kris teased me gently and I gulped, blushing a little over how well she managed to call me out just now. “That is an idea to file away for the future… I mean.. If this all doesn’t backfire in my face.” I pulled myself off of the floor that I’d been sitting inappropriately on, and I reached out, grabbing for the heels I’d pretty much abandoned upon entering the building.

“Still think those new stilettos were good for tonight?” Kris was teasing me again and I laughed it off as I debated on whether I actually wanted to put them back on and have my feet screaming at me in sheer agony.

I quickly decided that no, no I did not feel up to that tonight.

“They made my ass in these jeans look amazing, so yeah. Yeah I do, Kris.” I taunted, making her laugh and shake her head as she remarked, “Opposites attract is definitely true in your case, huh?”

“God, yes.. And speaking of opposites, there he is now..”

I stared like a helpless idiot as Trent walked past with Orange and Chuck flanking him. Chuck managed to look back and catch me staring, holding up two fingers. To anybody else that would’ve been a peace sign. But to me, that was a reminder.

I had two nights until I was face to face with Trent, revealing myself and probably, everything I felt for the guy.

XXX

“You’re actually giving her the present.. Wrapped like that.” Chuck was trying his best to hold in laughter. Almost failing miserably, but he was trying. Trent eyed the box he held in his hand and smirked at Chuck, nodding. “I am, why? What the hell is wrong with my mom’s leftover wrapping paper, huh?”

,, for starters you wrapped it so bad it reads le tits now, but hey.. You do you, buddy.” Chuck could’ve said it, but what Trent was doing was a huge deal. It was something Trent probably should’ve done a while ago, as opposed to just keeping his feelings to himself and going above and beyond to kind of keep his distance from the girl in question unless they had to interact.

Because yeah.. While all the quiet staring and the pining going on was cute as hell between the two, it was getting to a point where the sexual tension was so heavy that literally everyone around them was suffering for it also.

“Tonights night one, man.”

“That it is, Chuck.” Trent took a long and deep breath, almost as if he were centering himself. He waited until no one was looking and made his way into Catering, over to the decorated tree that sat on top of a table in the back already loaded down with presents.

And when he knew the coast was clear, he stuck the box on the nearest pile and quickly, he walked out of catering.

XXX

Everybody was already crowded into Catering when Kris and I made our way into the room and found a seat close to the door. I let the stilettos on my feet hit the floor with a soft thud and tugged my hair free. The blazer I’d been wearing that evening to conduct my two backstage interviews was sitting on the tabletop in front of me, right next to my travel bag.

Britt named herself Santa for the night, so she was calling out names. I was talking quietly to Kris, only half listening for my own to be called.

We were trying to anticipate who we might have gotten. I was trying to resist the urge to tell Kris that Orange had gotten her name. I was more than a little excited for her because just the sheer joy that she had over having managed to get his name was enough to make me truly happy.

I wasn’t terribly worried about who might have gotten my name, because the important thing here was that I’d taken steps to make sure I wound up with Trent’s name. That I was finally doing something I should’ve done months ago.

Britt must have called my name more than a time or two, because I looked up to find Brandi standing over me, trying not to double over laughing as she held out a hastily wrapped gift.

The wrapping paper caught my eye immediately. Whoever wrapped it had chosen wrapping paper that was pretty.. Shiny and sparkly, with silver snowflakes and pale blue lettering. The bow tied on the package somehow did not fit the packaging itself, but honestly, I just couldn’t stop staring at the way Let It Snow was turned into Le TitS now because of the way my Secret Santa had hastily wrapped the box.

I swallowed hard, getting a bit of a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach because at this point, I was at least 90 percent sure that the wrapping paper itself was a clue of some sort.

“Le TitS now, huh? Hager, are you the secret santa? Because if you’re behind this, man.. I can personally assure you, you dumb fucking Okie, you are.. Not even on the bottom of the very short list of men I’d willingly show my tits to.” I mumbled aloud.

“Well? Are you at least going to open it?” Kris asked from beside me. Brandi was watching expectantly too and under the pressure, I tore into the gift after neatly removing the way the bow had been tied so pretty and so carefully.

I wanted to keep that.

“Ooh, you’re gonna keep the bow, right?”

“It’s beautiful, Fuck yes.” I answered Kris as I gaped at the black velvet box in my hand. The other hand raised, catching in dark waves and tousling as my mouth opened and closed. “This is.. Okay.. Let me breathe here, I…”

I was at a complete and total loss for words suddenly.

And when I opened the box and spied the silver necklace with a shooting star pendant that I’d probably made 3 trips past a certain jewelry store in the mall in town just to stare at it…

Jake Hager spoke up from behind me.

“If you want, darlin. I can fasten it.”

“Ew, no! Fuck right off, you dumb Okie. Oh and if you’re the one who got me this, thanks but… This is as far as it goes, Hager. You’re not, nor will you ever be… Seeing any tits.”

Jake gave me a blank look and shrugged, wandering off. Kris was trying not to die laughing from beside me, as were Chuck,Trent and Orange from the table across from ours. I turned to Kris and held it out carefully. “Will you put it on? You’re probably the one other person I trust to do it without trying to cop a feel at this rate.”

“Except the guy you wish would cop a feel.” Kris muttered, making me gaze briefly at Trent, watching as he opened the tiffany blue and white wrapped gift box that contained what I’d gotten him.

When I saw the way his eyes lit up, I let out a ragged breath. Somehow, I got the feeling that he’d enjoy the controller. And the neck massager pillow that he was putting around his neck already, a goofy grin playing at his lips as he sank back against the booth and muttered aloud, “Nobody talk to me. I’m takin a nap.”

I couldn’t resist saying something.

“It’s.. heated, I think? There’s a little button on the back to turn on the heat. I..”

,, you absolute goof, what the fuck are you doing, A?” my mind shrieked as soon as the words left my mouth. I covered quickly, the words tumbling out of my mouth almost breathlessly as Trent’s eyes fluttered open and locked on me intently. When he licked his lips while still staring, I had to cross my legs under the table.

“It does, huh? Awesome.” Trent flashed me that cocky grin and I wanted to melt. If I thought forming words was a bit of a struggle before, compared to now, it seemed so much easier.

“Yeah.. I uhh.. I have a pink one.” I finally managed to stammer, going back to my own conversation and gushing over the necklace sitting around my neck out loud and excitedly with Kris.

I mean, it wasn’t a lie. I did have a pink one exactly like it. And a red one. And I’d actually said a lot more than usual to him tonight. Without stammering or saying the wrong thing entirely like I tended to on occasion.

XXX

“Did you see her face light up?” Trent was still on cloud 9 after watching her open the secret Santa gift earlier in the night. Now he was texting his mother to see if the gift he’d gotten her for the last night of the gift exchange had shown up yet.

Chuck spoke up, chuckling. “Was funny as hell when she told Hager he didn’t stand a chance in hell, man. And then when he tried to sneak up on her under that mistletoe that Brandi put up earlier, her threatening him with her shoe.”

Trent chuckled, even though his jaw set firmly and he grumbled. Right after Jake had tried pulling that stunt, he’d gotten the guy off to himself and quickly told him if he caught him attempting it again, he was going to take him outside.

Lucky for Jake, Chuck and Orange managed to get between the two. Because Trent was personally beyond fed up of the disgusting way that Jake behaved around her all the time. She shouldn’t have to threaten the guy with mase or a knee to the nuts to make him leave her alone.

No woman should.

“You know.. You could’ve done it, man. You could’ve snuck up on her.” Chuck teased his best friend as he glanced over at him.

“I’m saving that for tomorrow, Chuck. I have a plan, remember?”

“Says the man who wrapped the gift so that it read ‘le tits now’.” Orange chuckled from the backseat.

Chuck and Orange burst into laughter and Trent grumbled, smiling and laughing as he flipped them both off. “Yeah, well neither of you saw to point it out either.”

“I assumed you could read the damn packaging? My bad, Trenty.”

“I was just too caught up in getting to the arena and giving it to her, man. You know I’ve been waiting to do this a while!” Trent groaned as he let his head fall back against the headrest behind it and laughed.

“Maybe you should just let Sue wrap it this time, huh?”

“That’s not entirely a bad idea.” Trent chuckled as he said it, texting his mom to ask if she’d mind wrapping the present for him when it finally got to her place the next morning.

“She knew it said that too?” he grumbled aloud a few seconds later when his eyes scanned his mother’s response text.

[ mama bear ] I wanted to tell you before you left but you were so excited…

[ mama bear ] Did she like the necklace, son? I thought it was beautiful…

[ trentylocks] She loved it, mom. Was excited, doing that cute thing where she talks loud and giggles a lot, talking with her hands. Just wish me luck for tomorrow, please? I’m gonna need it.

[ trentylocks ] She loved the bow you tied just as much, by the way. ;) She kept it. When I saw her leaving the arena, she had it tied around her wrist.

[ trentylocks] Did you still want me to invite her over for dinner?

[ mama bear] You talk so much about her, of course! I have to meet her. Make sure she’s sweet enough for my baby.

[ mama bear ] I see you, trying to get her brownie points. But I’m glad she liked the bow. Says a lot about her that she kept it.

Trent slipped his phone back into his pocket and started to nod off, awakening when Chuck cleared his throat and asked aloud, “So what did you get her for tomorrow night?”

Trent smirked. “For the actual present, I got her a photo album. Because remember that time we were in the airport and her luggage burst? And the pictures inside it went everywhere?”

“Awww, for a cranky jerk, you can be sweet sometimes, Trenty.”

“Look who’s talkin, bigger cranky jerk. I also got her an actual warm blanket. Because she’s always walking around with that fuzzy pink thin one draped around her like she’s cold as hell. And roses. But I’m not givin’ her those until we’re face to face.”

“You giant sap.” Chuck teased his best friend as he grinned. “If it helps, man.. I don’t think you have to worry about tomorrow night going south. I think things might surprise you with how they turn out.”

“Oh you do, huh? What are you now, a psychic, Taylor?” Trent asked, giving Chuck a raised brow, wondering why he got the feeling that Chuck definitely knew more than he was saying.

“No, I just know how to read that particular girl, Beretta.” Chuck smirked, not even having to look over to know that Trent was giving him a dirty look at the reminder that Chuck had become friends with her first.

XXX

[ dad] Well, how did the secret santa go, sweetpea?

[dad] did this Trent like his present?

I smiled as I read the texts from my dad while standing in line to check into the hotel. After a second or two, I answered.

[sweetpea] He did! I’m glad I took your advice and didn’t try to go overboard. Now it leaves the romantic part for tomorrow night. Thank you, sir!

[sweet pea] remember that necklace I told you I was thinking about getting myself? The one like mama’s? I don’t have to… apparently, my secret santa knew somehow that I liked it and got it for me?

[ sweet pea ] But the way they wrapped the present, oh my god. I nearly died laughing.

[dad] you should call around. Find a restaurant. Your mama.. She liked cozy candlelit dinners. Just a thought.

[ dad] they did, huh? That’s good! Be careful driving to the hotel, sweetpea. The news said snow for your area tonight.

[sweetpea] Night, daddy. Don’t stay up all night watching the news or Blue Bloods. Go to bed, sir.

I put my phone away and at the tap on my shoulder, I turned. I found myself body to body with Jake Hager. I raised a brow and bit my lip, stepping away from him as quickly as possible. “What’s up?”

His eyes settled on the necklace and he chuckled. “Do you really think I’d have bought you that cheap lookin crap if I were the guy, princess?”

I glared and started to turn around, rolling my eyes. But Jake produced roses from behind his back. I eyed the roses and him and laughed as I shook my head no. “Life pro tip, Jacob.. Save the flowers for your actual girlfriend? Stop wasting your time with me. I have an ideal man and you sir, are not it. And you never will be.”

“Yeah? How about given a guy a chance?”

A throat cleared from behind us and a look around Jake revealed Trent standing there, muscular arms folded over his chest as he smirked at Jake.

“Do you have a fucking hearing problem, Hager? Or are you really that damn dense? She’s told you a thousand times to get bent by now.”

Somehow, in the midst of all this, I wound up right between Trent and Jake.. with my back pressed right against Trent’s chest. I gulped and tried like hell to hold myself together, but it just wasn’t working.

“Hey, whoa.. Can we just not, boys? Please?” I knew Jake would ignore me because he always does, so when I asked the question, I chose to turn.. Body to body with Trent.. And lock eyes with him, biting my lip and giving him my best pleading look.

Because holy hell, is it awkward when people make a scene like this.

Trent was glaring, tensing up all over. But at my question, he seemed to un-tense just slightly, tearing his eyes off of Jake to gaze down at me. “Yeah. He’s not fucking worth it anyway.”

“Exactly, Trent.” I muttered quietly, swallowing hard because I was lost in deep brown eyes and I knew it. And I couldn’t pull myself away from him, either.

The clerk’s throat cleared and gingerly, I managed to finally break gazes with him and stepped back, pouting before I turned to face the front and check into the hotel.

XXX

“You ready for this, man? Tonight is the big night.”

Trent chuckled, nodding. “It is. My mom came by earlier and dropped this off. Already wrapped.”

“You got the roses right, buddy?”

“Mhm. Over there.” Trent nodded to a dozen long stemmed red roses. Almost the same vibrant red as the lipstick she always wore.

He smoothed a hand over his hair and eyed the stupid jacket he was wearing. “This is a bit much.”

“It kind of is, man. A isn’t.. She’s not into male model types, man. Just dress comfortable.” Chuck shrugged as he chuckled. Trent took off the jacket and tossed it lazily at the second bed in the room and after he grabbed his key, he started out the door.

“I won’t wait up for you, man.”

Trent paused and gave him a laugh and shrug as he stepped out and into the hallway.

On the surface, he seemed calm, but on the inside?

An actual nervous wreck.

He knew she liked the presents she’d unwrapped in Catering earlier in the night, she hadn’t been without the blanket that he’d gotten her to unwrap there for the duration of the show. And as soon as she’d opened the photo album, she got the softest smile on her face, trailing her fingers over the cover.

She’d looked around the room and then gone back to whispering to Kris. But he’d managed to over hear her say that she knew it wasn’t Hager, because Hager had the emotional depth of a teaspoon and never would’ve thought to get her something as thoughtful as an actual photo album as opposed to her just tossing her photos in her luggage every time she went on the road.

Trent took a deep breath and made himself focus as he stood waiting on the elevator, goofy grin on his face.

He was meeting her at the town square because there was this huge christmas tree there and he liked the way her eyes lit up every time she saw it. It felt like time dragged at a hellish and slow pace from the time he was out in the parking lot, waiting on the Uber he’d called, to the time that Uber was pulling to a stop at the little park.

When he got out, he caught sight of her, approaching from the opposite direction. So he hung back, watched her walking past as he worked on getting himself reasonably pulled together and mentally prepared to reveal himself to her.

He let her settle in on the bench closest to the lit up tree and after a few deep breaths, he stepped out, roses in hand, clearing his throat.

XXX

[galaxybae] well? Is anyone there?

[galaxybae] are you sure this dress I borrowed was a good idea for tonight, A? I feel so damn naked right now…

[galaxybae] answer your texts woman.

[brunettebarbiedoll] not yet.. What about on your end? See anybody familiar?

I typed in the response to her first text and briefly, because i felt the sensation of being stared at intently, almost to the point of literal eye-fucking… It had my thighs clenching. It had me sitting up, alert and looking around, then pouting when I didn’t see anyone right away. I wandered over to the lit Christmas tree, a soft smile coming as the warm twinkle of soft white lights shined on me.

I felt good about tonight. Tonight’s secret santa gifts had pretty much blown my fear and theory that Hager was my secret Santa out of the water because Hager lacked the emotional depth and the practicality to pick out the gifts that my secret Santa had chosen for me.

At the thought, I snuggled tighter into my jacket, wishing I’d lugged the oversized plush winter white throw blanket along with me for both warmth and the comfort it made me feel.. As if I were being wrapped in a warm embrace whenever I had it wrapped around me.

And it didn’t go amiss by me that it smelled familiar somehow. Like a cologne I’d smelled somewhere, on more than one occasion.

And that thought further had me giving a soft and sappy smile over the thought of the gift. My fingers drifted upward, lingering at the shooting star charm that hung from the necklace that had been my gift the night before.

And I realized that I still hadn’t answered Kris’ two other texts. I sighed and looked around again, still seeing nobody around and yet, still feeling as if I were being visually fucked somehow.

Not in bad way though. Just… hungry, maybe.

,, it’s just the frenzy you’ve got yourself worked up into.”

I eyed my watch. I hoped my secret Santa showed themselves soon, because I still had to get through revealing myself to Trent.

And boy, was I ever a bundle of raw nerves over it.

[brunettebarbiedoll] Still nobody. I guess my secret Santa is gonna remain a secret? Either way, I’m kind of starting to get really nervous because I still have to wait on Trent to get here and reveal myself.

[galaxybae] Don’t you dare leave!

[galaxybae] Oh.. Oh.. i.. I think my person is here. Gotta go, bye!

I smiled to myself and put the phone away just as I felt my eyes being covered with something and then felt myself being turned around, what felt like flower stems being placed into my hands. I caught a whiff of the same cologne that I’d smelled on the blanket earlier and I swallowed hard. “Hey, no fair. You’re supposed to reveal yourself, sir.” I managed to get the words out as my body brushed against hardened muscle when I was pulled closer. So much closer. And arms wrapped around my waist.

I gaped as the fabric that had been placed over my eyes was lowered and it gave way to me standing body to body with Trent. Who was staring down at me intently, this soft smirk playing at his lips.

“Trent?”

“Mhm.” he chuckled quietly, a hand moving from it’s resting spot across my lower back to drag through thick dark hair.

I couldn’t help the fit of giggles that came. He eyed me with a brow raised and when my giggle fit finally died away, I explained with a teasing smile, “I was supposed to be meeting you here to reveal myself to you.”

His eyes widened and he chuckled. “Vanilla massage oil, hm?”

“In my defense, you always seem tense?” I bit my lip as I laughed softly. I was melting into him, awestruck at the realization that my forehead hit almost perfectly at the center of his chest. He used his grip on my body to pull me up a little and I wrapped my legs around his waist, making him laugh as our mouths brushed against each other clumsily.

“Was it an offer though, hmm?” Trent questioned, licking his lips as his eyes locked on my mouth.

“Possibly. I mean, I am pretty good at massages...” I teased, daring to trace the outline of his mouth with my tongue. Which only had him tangling a hand in the hair at the back of my hair and pulling my mouth against his completely.

The kiss broke and we pulled apart. I climbed out of his arms and leaned against him, raising to tiptoe to press another kiss against his lips as I muttered, “Are you hungry, Trent?”

“I could eat, yeah.. Why?”

“Well, there’s this cozy little place about a block away, I.. Kind of thought that maybe if things went okay when I had to meet you here, I’d ask you if you wanted to go with me?”

He grinned and slipped an arm around me, pulling me into his side as we made our way down the sidewalk.

“Did you wrap the first present the way you did intentionally?”

“No, I didn’t actually.” Trent answered, giving a sheepish laugh. “Did you think I did?”

“Well, when I thought was Hager, I didn’t think it was a stretch to imagine that yeah, he’d purposely done it. For the record.. If you wanted to see my tits, all you had to do was ask.” I teased, not stopping to think how suggestive what I said actually sounded until it left my mouth and I saw Trent’s jaw drop, and a flash of hunger flash in his eyes as he leaned down and muttered against the shell of my ear, “Ya know… I might actually take you up on that, doll.”

#12daysofchristmas #12 days of christmas #trent beretta imagine #trent beretta fanfiction #trent beretta fanfic #trent beretta imagines #trent beretta one shot #my writing; trent beretta #my fics; trent beretta #my oneshots; trent beretta

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just-like-playing-tag · 3 years

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A Letter from Norman reactions

Tonight I was feeling like reorganizing the notes I took after reading the novel for the first time. Just some random personal reactions I had after reading it; if anything catches your attention and you'd like to know more about a particular event from the novel, please feel free to ask and I'll be happy to help!!!

Under the cut because it's l o n g. That is, if Tumblr allows me to add a "read more", which has never happened before, but I'll keep hoping in it.

• Disclaimer: I'm suing anyone who ever said that the novel is all about NorEmma. I've literally put off reading it because I didn't want to get into something overly romantic while there's??? Nearly nothing about it that is romantic??????? Just a slight mention in that last chapter and that's it???????? Why are y'all like this

Prologue

• I need you all to know that the important letter™ through which Norman informed Emma about his plan starts with him describing the weather. I just think it's a relevant information.

• Ok I'm at freaking page 1 of “A letter from Norman” and. NORMAN IT'S A FREAKING LETTER TO EMMA NOT A SHAKESPEAREAN PLAY THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON TO BE THIS POETIC

Maybe, I would get it if it was directed to Ray, but to Emma?????

Chapter 1

• Emma in 2038: Let's befriend ghosts

Emma in 2047: let's befriend demons

Seems like a logic consecution to me

• Ok but why has nobody ever mentioned the extremely precious Emma / Gilda moments in the novel???? My heart was completely melting that was the most adorable thing I've ever read??????

• The way Norman is constantly in awe of Ray is so adorable... Baby is so sweet I swear, he deserves the world

Chapter 2

• OK BUT THE SWEET EXCHANGE between Ray and Isabella before him and Emma go out at night?????? Ray is so pure is swear... He's a precious baby who didn't deserve all the shit he went through.

Reporting it in case anyone's curious; for context, Norman is sick, and Emma wants to go out look for a flower that she's read is going to help him feel better. Emma and Ray are convinced that Norman is going to die because babies are just that dramatic, and easily impressionable as well. They're seven here.

“ «Ray, I'm counting on you!»

Isabella pressed an hand on the boy's shoulder, who turned his face to her and diligently nodded, before continuing: «Differently from Emma, I don't think the flower is going to help Norman heal».

«What do you mean?»

«However, it's better than having to sit back and watch without doing anything. I too, like her, want him to heal as soon as possible.»

«Sure, I understand...» ”

NOW that hits so hard. You have to understand, this is after Ray had made the deal with Isabella. He had already started to plan the escape. In this occasion, he was on a very thin line: alone at night with Emma, outside the House, a child who knew the truth. Isabella knew those were the right conditions for him to attempt an escape, so she decided to test his loyalty; one misstep, and their deal - which was fundamental for the escape Ray was planning - would have ended.

But at the same time, Ray needed to go. Because, just like Emma, he just couldn't stand to lose Norman. And to see these three children caring so deeply about each other even at such a young age makes me honestly bawl. This is quite certainly my favorite thing from this series. And Ray deserves the world.

• Ray was so determined to save his two friends, he even considered for a moment, in the woods, to tell Emma the truth about the orphanage. I find it very nice how the novel hinted of all these times Ray almost revealed the truth, it really puts emphasis on how he was trying to find the best moment for the escape- but it also hints to how desperate he was to share this grievous burden he was forced to carry for the longest time.

• “ Ray, you must keep on living, Norman whispered to himself like a prayer. ”

I'm... I'M 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Doesn't help the fact that this bit was literally at the end of pages of Norman praising Ray and how brave he had been for so long.

• “ Nobody in the House would have wanted for Ray to pay with his life to amend the silence of all those years. ”

I love this bit. Nobody between the children ever hated Ray for speechlessly assisting to dozens of his siblings being lead to death, because they all immediately understood how much he was suffering, how powerless he must had felt, and also, even though it only led to him being even more hurt, how deeply he loved them all. It's really nice to realize that no children ever hated Ray- no one besides from himself. His siblings love him unconditionally, and that's precisely what he deserves 🤧🤧💕💕💕

• Norman: *adventures in a detailed description of Ray's features and gestures for no other apparent reason than the fact that he finds him pretty*

Chapter 3

• Ok I know people use to see Ray and Susan's interactions under the light of Ray having a crush on her but honestly? I think they make the cutest brotp. I never knew how much I needed Ray-having-an-older-sister content untill now.

• For real though!! What hits you really hard is to find out, even though he would had never ever showed it, how desperate he was to have somebody care about him, and to be loved. He literally grieves for losing someone that looks after him and is there to check on him in his lowest days- we know it's the thing Isabella never gave him. Man, this boy didn't deserve all the shit that happened to him. Tpn may have become an old known story for me, but Ray's sufferings in his early age will never stop tearing my heart apart.

• Ok, I wasn't ready for all this angst on Ray's part. I mean, I obviously know GF were hard times for him, but I didn't expect for him to take over the pov. Sis, how wrong I was. Now I'm crying.

• Coming to the realization that Ray's initial plan actually was to bring everyone in the escape, but he clearly had to give up on it after having realized it would have been impossible to save them 🥺🥺🥺

(I mean it was not impossible. He believed it was. But it wasn't.)

• Ok but. The last part of the Ner chapter. I really don't want to spoil it for anyone because it really was a beautiful chapter but I really need to say: Emma and Norman. The way it wasn't just Ray always being there for them, protecting them from afar; no matter their blissful ignorance, they have always been there for him too. They never abandoned that lonely boy, and they made it so that he could have a last reason not to give up. A single, dim light of hope in that pitch black, devastating world he was born in. I may or may not be crying my eyes out.

(Btw I had written this before the Ray special chapter came out, and it's kinda funny to look back at it now)

• The thing with the Ner chapter is: you enter in it after reading two chapters of normal, wholesome children's stories. There's a dark undertune in it, but it's very subtle and it doesn't interfere with the happy, cheerful atmosphere of these children facing adventures together with each other. But then the Ner chapter strikes, and the Ray pov arrives, and it's like being beaten with a bat in the stomach several times. Deep down, you had always known it; but you suddenly realize that all these children are going to die. And, even worse, there's one child who knows. There's one child who has to assist to everything powerlessly. There's one child, one freaking-nine-years-old who knows that all his siblings are going to die, and there's nothing he can do. That a single mistake could ruin the chances of making just two of his siblings survive, which is everything he's hanging to right now. One child who only needs to be loved. Well that... That hits hard.

Me expressing my thoughts: girl this form is shit you can't write something that is understandable to save your life can you

• Also can we please appreciate Norman taking so long to get out of the forest as it's a recurrent characterizzation of his character to be desperately willing to live just *French chef kiss*

• I really like how the novel underlined how Norman's choice of sacrificing himself corresponded to a betrayal toward his friends (when you think about it, Emma definitely felt betrayed). It's almost like in his last moments Norman chose to switch roles with Ray, taking on his shoulders the burden of being both the traitor and the sacrifice.

Chapter 4

• Norman: * “ He instinctively closed his eyes and abandoned himself to the sweet memory of that time he understood how deeply loved he was. ” *

Somewhere, Ray: Can't relate

• Emma: Norman, what you want to do when you grow up?

Norman: It's a secret.

Me:

• “ Ray woke up before everyone, as usual. ”

A remarkable detail. You'd think Ray, as a good depressed person as he is, would sleep more than the average. The truth is: he doesn't sleep at all.

• Norman: There's... Another person I like

Me:

• OK NOW WHY did none tell me about the nine (9) lines of Norman / Don interacting it was worth reading the novel solely for that.

• WHY DID NONE TELL ME ABOUT DON ALMOST STRANGLING NORMAN AND MAKING HIM LITERALLY PASS AWAY IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH READING THE NOVEL SOLELY FOR THAT

• Reading about Conny being there hurts a lot but reading about Sadie and Hao brings up a totally different kind of pain. Also who the hell is Cindy?

• Norman: Oh yes, Emma and Ray, my most dear friends, my closest siblings, the reason I wake up in the morning, my only reason to live, the ones I'd entrust my life with,

Also Norman: Dunnot in the last thirteen hours and six minutes they have been acting pretty sus, I'm kinda sure they're betraying me somehow ://

• “ «I agree, but it feels like you've fallen down a rabbit hole. You're restless, you constantly look off...» said the raven haired boy, distorting his mouth in an hardly intelligible grimace and giving his friend a meaningful look.

«Norman, about that mysterious girl...»

«No, you're mistaken! I...»

Norman, filled with frustration, raised up his voice, starting to lose the coolness that was usually characteristic of him.

«But I haven't said anything yet!»

That being said Ray, with slightly mocking doing, turned on his feet and went away, leaving Norman like that. ”

I LOVE THIS BIT SO INEXPLICABLY MUCH I'm always *so* in for Oreo finishing each other sentences / reading each other's thoughts. Here, Norman answered Ray's question before he could even expose it, because he already knew what it would have been. Equally, Ray knew what Norman was going to say even though he cut his answer halfway through.

I love how much on the same page they are, they really... Totally and fully understand each other even without words, and I find it so sweet. Seriously, their dynamic is so wholesome

• Norman's last birthday gift: the thing that matters the most to him: his family's happiness

Emma's reward: the thing that matters the most to her: her family's happiness

Some things hit harder than others.

• I don't know like. When you read the novel after the series has ended, everything hurts so much more, because you know these are all memories Emma has lost forever.

• So you made colorful clothing by "coloring old clothes"? Have fun realizing y'all have celebrated Norman's birthday wearing your dead siblings' clothes

Bonus this epic note I randomly took I completely forgot the context of:

• Isabella is a bitch. I don't give a fuck about your dramatic past woman, leave that boy alone

(When the protect Ray mood hits™)

#tpn #the promised neverland #a letter from norman #tpn norman #tpn emma #tpn ray #full score trio #oreo #tpn analysis #mine #I don't even like Stark I just used the gif for the sake of reactions #I should have used facepalming Ray™ instead #Let me know if you want my reactions for the second novel as well!!!#tpn novels

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1-800-get-sherlocked · 3 years

Text

this was supposed to be an incorrect quote but it spiraled out of control

note: im american idk if yall brits have cuties (kidding im sure ur all cuties ok im sorry i couldnt resist) but i really had to alright pls be-ryllium ar-gon with me yes im sorry we are revisiting chem lads dont worry i will provide you translations/i will make it obvious also theres switching povs & im telling you ahead of time: the puns are very, very bad

also i wrote this at like late 5am un-beta-ed so please forgive me for any mistakes, i have 0.5 braincells left and i used up 0.279 for academic papers

kind of a crackfic btw

ok without further ado bc i ramble too much, other notes at the end:

*on Valentine’s Day*

John woke up to the sound of clinking and the faint sound of rustling of papers, the other side of the bed empty and cold. Ah, probably on that experiment again with those oranges he said were also a good pet name for me. What was it again? Right, cuties. A small smile appeared on John’s unshaven face. His hubby was too endearing for his own good sometimes.

In the kitchen, Sherlock paced back and forth, eyeing his failed experiment with disdain. Which he was totally worrying more about rather than whether his plan would work. Would John like these? Maybe he should have just gone with George’s advice and went to get some takeout Angelo’s like they often did during quarantine, but Sherlock wanted to make this special. He nervously adjusted his shirt collar, looking down to check that he was indeed wearing the purple shirt John loved so much. Apparently it was called the purple shirt of sex or something? The detective honestly had no idea how or why but that wasn’t important, what was important was John. John. He still couldn’t believe the brilliant, patient, and gorgeous army-doctor was....his husband. After the drunk night they had that one day, things got a bit heated and...well, you could say they definitely had a good time and cleared up their feelings for each other, much to Donovan’s chagrin who lost Scotland Yard’s bet by just a week. Mrs. Hudson was the winner, obviously.

Thank god for Mrs. Hudson’s and Gavin; he didn’t know what he would do without both of them giving him advice, though the DI wasn’t always pleased to be summoned in the middle of a case to help Sherlock out.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Sherlock scanned his surroundings to make sure everything was in place. Ah, he could now hear John about to step into the aisle, right on time. Quickly, Sherlock went back to pretending he was working on his experiment.

Just a few moments later, John padded into the kitchen, clean shaven, and as expected, looked at Sherlock pointedly. Of course, the detective was used to this and promptly ignored it, waiting for John to say something.

“Sherlock,” John said, tilting his head to the side a bit, “What is going on here? Why are there little sticky notes all over the place?”

Sherlock simply shrugged. “Why don’t you go take a look for yourself, John? I’m sure you would be able to find out that way.”

Sighing, John went back into the living room and perused the various bright colored sticky notes. Sherlock’s scratchy handwriting was on all of them, along with small drawings on some. Stepping closer, John took the first one off the wall above the couch and read the note out loud:

“Jawn, you’re small and angy, just like the bunch of Copper (Cu) Tellurium (Te) Iodine (I) Einstieinium (Es) we got the other day. Will you be my clemenvalentine?” Belatedly, John noticed a small orange drawn next to it, with a small >:[ face. Sherlock still wasn’t going to let him ever live it down, huh?

Shaking his head with the faintest hint of a smile crossing John’s expression, he moved on to the next one.

“John, the first time we met and dined at Angelo’s, I said girlfriends weren’t really my area. What I really wanted to say was that I was Gallium (Ga) Yttrium (Y), John. Obviously, I am married to my work and love of my life now, but would you still be my Valentine again, for the 11th time?” This one was written in rainbow ink, probably one of those pens Rosie got for Sherlock, insisting that he would have some use for them someday. Which he did, evidently.

As John picked up more and more notes strewn around the room, and read more and more puns, some of his favorites being, “Forget Hydrogen–you’re my number one element” and “Why don’t we go back to the bedroom and form a covalent bond ;) Or we could do it on the table, periodically” he didn’t know whether he should have laughed or cried. Maybe both. Some were so bad they were hilarious but the fact that they were that bad just made it more funny and endearing. Oh Sherlock, where would I bee without you? who would I be without you?

Oh god, John realized with horror. Sherlock’s terrible puns were rubbing off him and invading his thoughts. Typical of him, that bloody cute charismatic arse.

Finally, John reached the last one.

“John, I know I’m not very good with expressing my affection for you, but I want you to know, especially today, that Iodine (I) Lutetium (Lu) Vanadium (V) Uranium (U). You are my best friend, my lover, my husband, and my lifelong partner. You’ll always be my doctor and blogger at heart.” On the side, a small smiley face was drawn.

The entire time, John knew Sherlock’s eyes were on him, even though he pretended to be busy with his experiment. The doctor knew those telltale signs: tense shoulders coupled with a nervous biting of his lip. Watching closely, trying to gauge his reaction after reading all of them.

“Sherlock, were you trying to test my chemistry knowledge again? You know it’s been awhile since I’ve studied all this, right?”

Of course, Sherlock knew this. Sherlock always knew but was somehow still an oblivious idiot. My oblivious idiot, John thought affectionately.

“Well yes but I-” a beat. Sherlock took a deep breath. “Well, it’s always you making plans for Valentine’s, and I thought, maybe I should take charge this time, with something other than Angelo’s–don’t worry, I’ve already ordered takeout for dinner, I know you love their food, John, so I still did it. But I wanted to do more for you this time. Mrs. Hudson and Rosie agreed it would help me express myself better, so I tried it out. Um-” Sherlock stopped mid sentence as John walked up to him, and put a finger over those pouty lips.

“Sherlock, you amazing, adorable, gorgeous man, you’re so cute, you know that? And I did in fact notice your shirt–we will be making use of that later, obviously.” The detective gulped visibly. “But for the record, I want you to know that I know how much you love me, and you know how much I love you, so don’t ever feel bad about having trouble expressing it verbally; I can always tell through the small thoughtful gestures you do for me and the looks you throw my way when you think I can’t see. What you did for me today was very sweet, and it made my day–I will always cherish this memory on this Valentine’s, but I can assure you my love for you will never change no matter what, whether or not you do gestures like this for me. My love is of the same magnitude as yours to mine, and it never stops growing everyday”

Sherlock beamed, that charming crooked grin of his slowly spreading across his face, and John pulled him down for a kiss, both laughing against each other’s lips lightly as their mouths clumsily crashed together.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

#my posts #my post #my writing #johnlock #sherlock bbc #fics #my fics #johnlock fics #also this is technically my first fic? i wrote a small drabble for another fandom beforre but uh #yeah #so please forgive me if it's not very good #i would love comments! tell me about stuff you like/don't like!#i stayed up till 7 writing this oops #instead of writing analysis for my data project due tomorrow or technicallyt oday lmfao #anyways #i hope u enjoyed reading my brainrot #also 0.279 was not a mistake #i chose it on purpose #i didnt read through this after writing this so i apologize for any mistakes #i'll fix them tomorrow or somethng i mean techncally today #ajsadlkf anyways yea ok iim kinda scared but my 7am brain is shameless so here we go #oh no it is light outsde now oops #prob coulda come up wth better puns but like i said my braincells almost out of stock xD

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wolf-stark · 3 years

Note

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

#Asks

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goodtimingz · 4 years

Text

dreaming you would come true

intro. pt1. pt2. pt3. pt4. pt5.

AN: check the intro out^, as usual, if jae ever hunts for fic again i’ll cry. btw stream zombie!!!!!! sorry if it’s boring ;-; i have mundane relationship goals and i want to ask my future bf about psychology so if u study psych hmu lol

tags: studentlife, jae day6, fluff, college!au

: the one where you meet jae in your second year of college and it’s basically love at first sight. just little excerpts of what i think a relationship w jae would be like c:

1.4k words

What can I do? I just like being with you.

Studying Psychology was great, when you were stressed you just pulled out your notes and cried into them. Which is exactly what you felt like doing at that moment, 10pm in the corner of the library. The library was reasonably packed, as it always was during finals. Just a bunch of students trying to cram a semesters worth of knowledge, some successful and others crying in the corner. You weren’t sure which group you fit into, but you were definitely questioning your existence in that moment.

The lanky boy from last week had been meeting you every night since you first met, an unspoken commitment but a consistent one nevertheless. Infact, he should be arriving about… now.

His ruffled hair and tired eyes met yours almost immediately. It had been only a few days but you were smiling at him like he already owned your heart, the smile he sent back making it harder to breathe.

“Yo y/n, what’s with the raccoon eyes, next time I see you are you gonna be in the trash?” No hello, just Jae as usual. You breathed out a sarcastic laugh wondering how he managed to look so casual? His grey hoodie had to be made from a very special material… boyfriend material.

“Ha. Ha, I actually might be though if I drop out and become homeless. Would you still hang out with me if I was a raccoon?” Jae rests his chin in his hands pretending to think it over.

“Well, raccoon’s are cute. I think having a raccoon friend would be pretty fun.”

“Of course your logic is spot on, good to know I have a home if I really do drop out.”

Jae laughs, he wants to reach out and touch your face, brush his hands through your hair and jab you in your sides until you can’t stop laughing. He would do a lot to keep that smile on your face.

The past few days you two had formed a routine without words, it kind of just happened. Bonding over your love for food, deep conversations and jokes, you two hit it off harder than Brian hitting Wonpil’s cup over in Music class. Even though Jae had felt like a total simp at first, going to the library with the sole purpose of meeting you the day after the phone drop, he was pleasantly surprised when you swiped half of your stuff to one side of the desk and waved him over.

Every time you smiled at him, he reminded himself to breathe. He had to be alive if he wanted to take you out, so breathing was important even when you made it so damn hard. He wasn’t super affectionate romantically but boy did he want to be now. You plagued his thoughts, at night he craved the feeling of you in his arms, in the day he wondered what it would be like to walk around with your hand in his. At lunch his thoughts drew back to you. One week had been the best torture ever.

“Jae, what are your thoughts on labels?” You perked up from his side, interrupting his thoughts of you as he pretended to scroll through his Ebook.

“Labels? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?” He asked, turning to face you with a teasing grin.

“Hmm... similar concept!” You couldn’t help but smile in his direction. I mean… if you would be my boyfriend? You had to physically shake the thought out as Jae watched you with amusement in his eyes. “I mean, for my exam we have to discuss labelling in society, how would you label me?”

“I would label you a panda. You’re cute, you’re clumsy and you’re tired.”

“Jae, I am not clumsy, you can’t say that when you literally tripped up the stairs yesterday!” You pointed, laughing at the image. Had Jae called you cute just then? You tried to overlook it. Cute was something people called pets and small things, maybe he just seen you as small.

“How can you forget that you literally dropped your phone 8 times since we’ve met, and we only hang at night time in one place. You have butter fingers!” He had a point but you shot him a childish glare. So your phone had gone through some hard times, but Jae had literally dropped his when you first met so who was the real butter fingers?

“Don’t you think it’s time for a boba run?” Changing the topic was the only way you’d escape, or it’d be a roast about who was clumsier which would end in you both laughing until everyone around you hated your souls.

“Definitely what I needed to hear.”

And just like that you both packed up your stuff and exited the warm building. With Jae things were exciting even when life felt mundane. You’d catch yourself smiling through your day just thinking about him, and the frequency of that happening just kept increasing.

The night was cold, but you refused to shiver. If you did Jae would probably tease you and say, “I ain’t giving you my hood, equal rights!”. You would then shove him and then he’d shove you. Gosh, he was so childish sometimes and yet you loved it. He knew how to act, he carried himself as this chill guy who never let life get to him, but you knew it did. Sometimes you would hear a groan, a sigh, and you knew life just wasn’t going how he wanted it to. Whenever you asked him questions he would think them over thoroughly, even if his initial response was a joke.

An idle thought crossed your mind. “Jae, what time does the boba shop close?” You both glanced as he pulled out his phone, his eyes widening as it read 10:45pm.

“11pm.” 15minutes till closing and a 20 minute walk? You watched as he tucked his phone away, but you did not expect him to grab your wrist and run. This meant you were literally being dragged along with him, and by the time you arrived at the store (receiving weird glances from the owner), you two were laughing your asses off out of sheer adrenaline. It felt good to run in the cold night together and despite you being out of breath, you managed to squeeze in a few chicken running jokes on the way.

“You’re so short it’s like watching a baby pig run.” Jae teased, poking your cheek and heading to the counter to order.

“Sorry we aren’t all lanky giraffes, Jae.”

“Don’t hate the player hate the game Y/n!” Jae held his hands up in defence with the cutest grin. “What game! Life?” You shoved him gently with a smile, leaning around him to pay for your drink. His hand quickly pushed yours away, tapping his card to pay.

“Hey! We’re both broke what are you doing?” You had no idea what he was thinking. Last time you heard he was complaining about having only $3.20 in his account.

Jae simply smiled in an sickly sweet way, shrugging his shoulders and walking to a seat.

He was broke. But he felt rich in soul. Okay, that was extremely cheesy. It’s just the way you laughed while running beside him, it made him feel so alive.

He cared about you now, no take backs!

You planted a tiny seed in his heart and he was watering it everyday, it grew so fast and he knew it would be hard to get out. You sat across from him gazing around at the decorations of the store mindlessly and he couldn’t stop thinking about how he didn’t want to lose the image of you.

Life had been plain, last week he couldn’t even remember. It all felt the same. Study, play, sleep, eat and repeat. Everyday he was one step closer to stepping out of college, and he really tried hard to enjoy the mundane times of his life. But after a whole year of playing catch up with college work and performing, he thoroughly enjoyed the idea of finally having someone to share it with.

“Jae, you should let me dye your hair.” You looked genuinely excited and slightly evil, hands reaching over to touch Jae’s hair. “It’s kind of dead. That definitely means pink next.” Jae feigned annoyance but he won’t admit he leaned into your touch a liiiiittle.

“What in the world is going through your head to think I would trust you with such a special job. My hair is my image!” He could feel the tips of his ears giving away his chill image.

“Do we need to talk Jae? You know you’re more than your hair. You have a great personality too. I can book you in tomorrow at 9pm.” Your teasing made him reach over and scruff up your hair sending you into giggles.

“We get it Y/N, you’re gonna be a crazy psychologist though.” He laughed, hoping he could be there to see the day you graduate.

BRO.

Jae needed a good slap. He’d fallen too hard in such a short time, maybe he was just stressed.

(It definitely wasn’t that.)

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missmaxime · 4 years

Note

17! 18! 30! 32! 38! <3 <3 <3

Thank you for these! 🥰 17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback? I don’t. Well, not immediately. I try to distract myself for at least half an hour to an hour after posting because by the time I post I’ve already gone mental from finaFinalreRerereadFiNaldefDEFDEF.def x34 and I need to calm down. But after that I compulsively refresh AO3 (for the Beth/Rio tag) and depending on the time of day I start replying to comments or wait for it until morning. I don’t re-read my own fic until at least the day after (and inevitably fix some v obvs spelling mistakes I got blind for during edits). 18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie? A little while ago I would have maybe said Wild at Heart, but I recently started editing the new chapter and now I’m feeling that story again (I got a bit lost with it over season 3, and it’s a long fic I’m not really used to writing – I had no oversight in my notes and outline and ugh). I think when I do publish it might have a bit of a different tone, especially because I think I progressed a lot over the past six months as a writer. But I have by now accepted that I will never re-write those earlier chapters, so I’m just going to move on and continue the story. BTW. If someone can recommend a/their Word Processor to get a better oversight in longer WIPs, please do! There’s no published WIP I won’t get back to from what I see now. I have a few in my WIP-folder that are a lost cause, main reasons are either because I either forgot I wrote it to begin with, or because I don’t like my style or plot anymore. 30. Post a snippet from you’re a current WIP without context - no more than 300 words. From a WIP I definitely won’t abandon, but one that’s also taking me crazy long to write (because world-building):

Annie swallows everything down, but keeps the bowl of candies protectively close to her chest. “I can’t believe they reached out to you twenty years later,” she says, plopping down next to Beth. “I can’t believe they subpoenaed me.” Annie sits up. “Technically they summoned you—” Beth gives her a look that immediately shuts her up. “You know, it’s good they did. They probably got a notification that you got rid of your Dean-shaped baggage and thought: Presto Matcho, and let’s go!” “Maybe I don’t want to be matched up.” “Relax, sis. Just go out on a date, get those cobwebs cleaned out if he’s a seven or up, and move on with your life!” “Annie!” “You’re right, maybe don’t be that picky, make it a six.” Beth’s all fired up to blow a gasket when a man with a bird tattoo sprawled on his neck enters the waiting room, accompanied by a dark-haired woman in a suit. They’re in a heated discussion, going through a pile of papers that’s full of marked segments and bookmarks. Beth’s getting a bit lost in thought, looking at him when she feels Annie leaning her head on her shoulder. “I served him too,” she whispers in Beth’s ear, pulling her back into reality again. “You!” she hears the guy say, pointing at Annie, who immediately throws her hands up in defense, totally forgetting she was holding the candy bowl which immediately tumbles onto the ground, scattering its contents over the floor. “Hey, I’m just here for my sister, don’t come at me bro!” she tries to laugh it nervously away. He doesn’t think it’s funny. But his gaze lingers on Beth a longer time than might be appropriate before turning his attention back to the woman beside him. 32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from? I can have different favorites varying on the week / day. It usually changes when I post a new fic. Sometimes I’m not even super in love with a line when I post it, but it grows on me when I re-read later. So just three random ones: Regardless of his repeat observation of ‘you’re so tight, baby’, she’s definitely not going to indulge him with the Snoozefest Saga of her sex life of the past decade. – from Stuck in the Middle It’s a decision he almost immediately regrets. Apparently, Elizabeth is very convinced of her (faulty) navigation skills. And mind you, he has an essentially AI-worthy navigation system build into his (“Is this what you drive? Don’t you think it’s a little… out there? Like, surely you don’t really need something so preposterous to arrive in?” she had laughed cutely after that, but he felt slapped in the face – and not the kind he might be paying her for) G-wagon. – from The Girlfriend Experience “Yeah,” he smiles. “We real good friends too, aren’t we?” he says suggestively. (It’s just, he can’t help it, knows it’s dumb and petty but ugh. He’s suffered through Mick’s eye-rolls enough after returning from a No Elizabeth Murder Night again. The other guy casually looking up from polishing his custom ninja throwing stars - don’t start about it, it’s a whole thing, and Rio’s convinced the man can’t even get them into a wall a three feet away if he wears that one jacket - waiting for Rio to cock his head and ask: “What?” “Nothing,” he had replied, dipping a cloth into the jar of polish. “’Nothing’?” Rio had repeated – a little more petulant than he intended. “What are you, my wife?” Ever so slowly, the corners of Mick’s mouth had turned upwards. “Heard spot’s taken.” Rio may have keyed Mick’s car that night.) Beth smiles back stiffly. - from I See Your True Technicolors I don’t know, I really like doing these kinda scene-in-scene (or sentence) things, I don’t know if this has a name. 38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)? Hmm that kind of depends what part of the process we’re talking about. Let’s roughly break that up in three parts: 1. Working out the idea (8/10): Really, really chaotic. This is just days or weeks of just flashes of ideas and plotpoints and lines of dialogue shooting through my brain. Haphazardly writing those down in various docs, on paper in between my work notes, or in the notes on my phone. When I finally know the rough outline of the story I go into; 2. Writing the fic (4/10): I’m a super chronological writer, I really move from scene A to B to C until I finally arrive at Z. But when I start writing I often only really know A, D, E, J, O, Q, Z – the rest will just grow or appear organically as I write. Sometimes it does mean I won’t write for a few days because I circle back to step 1 for a certain scene. A good example is the Artic Hunter Fairytale Beth tells Jane in Chapter 2 of I See Your True Technicolors. I knew up front I was going to write a scene where we would see how this seemingly unweighted moment for Beth – she’s just telling a nighttime story – had a massive impact on Jane. There were some themes and motives I felt like needed to make an appearance: the more tangible reason of Jane’s quest, how young kids often hold their parents’ word as truth, and I needed it to be a true heartfelt moment between Beth and Jane. But before I wrote the first line of that scene I had no idea that would be the scene that it became. So I do outline a bit, but I need to create enough room for myself for moments like that to happen. It’s one of the things I enjoy most about writing. It’s a bit of an organized mess within a tighter frame/outline. 3. Editing (7/10): I’ve really been perfecting my Editing skills over the past 6/7 months – it’s not perfect, but you live and you learn. I spend more time working on the fic after I ‘finished’ it, really ramped up the spelling and grammar checks (I love you Word editor, but I also hate you), and take more and more care to make sure that all my dialogue feels IC ánd distinctive enough per character (especially the latter I feel like lacks in earlier WAH chapters). So, work in progress, but I feel pretty confident in this one. Again, thanks for sending these! <3

#asks #writer asks #fanfiction #my fanfic

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g0dblessthefandom · 4 years

Text

More Thoughts On Terminator: Dark Fate Pt. 2

A continuation of this post here.

- “As if I couldn’t remember shit.” and that eyeroll STILL get me, three times in, because I know she’s talking about Dani, and it just runs me through a whole gamut of emotions, and it’s so precious to me. That’s that brattiness that I was talking about, and I just see it happening with nobody by Dani, and it’s just the most precious thing.

- Later on, when they get out of the car and head out on foot, Grace opens the car door for Dani, and like holds it open while she gets out. I’m just like, SUCH a gentleman! She just listens to Dani and follows orders absolutely, and that’s such a clear view into their relationship, but I love it.

- Just that moment of Grace getting mad at Sarah, and standing on the stop of the train. It’s not a big deal, but no one else is doing it, so I have to imagine that it’s pretty difficult? Especially the way that she’s standing there, completely motionless. That was just a badass moment, and I want to think about it later on.

- The way that Grace says ‘Hola’ to Dani’s uncle, is just EVERYTHING. It’s so bad, but it’s the kind of practiced bad where clearly she’s been working on it, but she hasn’t mastered it yet, but she’s really been trying to learn, so now I’m just imagining Dani sitting with Grace late at night on the same bed, and practicing over and over because once Grace got her mission, Dani thought it was important that she learn Spanish just in case. Of course, Dani has been trying to teach Grace Spanish for years, and even though she can read any aviation manual and pilot a ship perfectly the very first time, she still can’t remember all the forms of conjugation, and that’s just the cutest thing in the world to me.

- I love when the Rev9 goes to the ICE facility, and he has to go through the metal detector. He already has the lie ready. He says that he “did two tours in Afghanistan.” That was the lie. But before he goes through, after he checks in his weapon, he says, “Expect a big ping, brother. My whole body’s a weapon.” And I just... Like, there’s no reason for the Rev9 to say that. He totally just *wanted* to. Does he want to seem cool? Does he like doing stuff like that? The world will never know, but it’s just so randomly *him*.

- I just found out that the Rev9 was also referred to as Gabriel on the set. I don’t know if that was before or after they casted Gabriel Luna, but there’s something biblical there, and maybe I’ll think about it later.

- Did I mention how handsome Gabriel Luna is?

- This exchange: “Where do they take the new prisoners?” “They’re called detainees.” And the look that Grace gives that woman just... POETIC CINEMA. That exchange made me cackle.

- When Grace shows Carl his tattoo, and he asks her, “Who gave you that?” and Dani IMMEDIATELY walks in. If we didn’t know who gave her the tattoo before, or we were unsure, Tim Miller hit us right between the eyes with it.

- In the house, when Sarah shoots Carl, Dani dives behind Grace without even thinking a moment about it. And of course, Grace puts her arm out to protect Dani, but that makes more sense. That’s what Grace was sent there to do. But, Dani has only known Grace for a couple of days, but she already trusts her completely. She already trusts her with her life. That really makes the ending so much more devastating.

- Carl’s dog loves him. It’s a small thing, but he really is practically human. That’s the one constant in that universe. Dogs. Hate. Terminators. But Carl’s dog’s tail is just wagging away. It’s so awesome.

- A lot of people talk about Carl talking about drapes in that scene (which I loved, btw), but I don’t know if people pay enough attention to how into it Dani is. I don’t know if she really cares or not, but she’s giving him her full attention, and really seems to be into it. Grace gets distracted by Sarah, Sarah just hates his guts, but Dani is just right there, in the moment.

- “A C5. Can you fly that?” ”Of course!” Grace is clearly amazing, and we don’t know where she got the ability to fly all different types of planes, but I just love to imagine her being a HUGE plane/helicopter nerd. ALSO! The vehicle that they fly in the flashback (from the future) is not anything close to a vehicle that we have now, so why does Grace even know how to fly it? Because she’s a ginormous nerd.

- On the plane, while Sarah and Carl are shooting at the Rev9 out the back of the plane, without even asking, Dani IMMEDIATELY starts reloading the guns, and when Sarah yells, “I’m out!” Dani throws the newly loaded gun to her. She’s just amazing how quickly she switches into the mode of just being all in, and doing what she’s got to do.

- “Sorry about your shed.” Another line that Gabriel (the Rev9) doesn’t have to say, but he does, and that’s beautiful. (Apparently it’s a reference to the song “Guitars and Cadillacs” that’s played in T2? I just read it somewhere.)

- “We took our world back.” This line that Grace says to Dani in what I affectionately call “The Proposal Scene” which seems to indicate to me that maybe the war against the machine in Grace’s time is almost done. It’s possible that they’ve made great strides, and humans have almost won, and this was a last ditch effort by Legion. That definitely changes things for me because the urgency and purpose feel different. I’m still muddling through that one, but I’m sure I’ll have a lot of feelings about it in the future.

- My sexuality is Grace wrapping that chain around her arm in that final fight scene. Probably a close second is Dani saying, “This is our kill box.”

- We both knew I wasn’t coming back.” I am currently writing a fic about that. So, you will see all the feelings that I have on that line. It only really struck me on the third time, but it really gave me a lot of feelings. It’s just so tender, and so broken, and it’s just so desperate. And I feel like Grace truly believes it, but I don’t know if Future!Dani felt the same way. I don’t want to give away too much of my fic, but you’ll see it all soon enough.

- “We got him, Grace. You saved me.” I mean, if this line didn’t break your heart, what are you even doing. The gentleness of it. The fragility. Dani loves Grace so much. She was her protector and she was her friend, and she loved her. She never had to say it, but it was very real, and she put it all into those words. I started reading a fic where they buried Grace, and I just am sitting at my desk, sobbing like a baby. It’s too much.

Okay, so those are all my notes, there’s a lot there, let me know what you think. Let’s keep the dialogue going, and then when the Blu-Ray comes out, we’re going to learn so much more.

-- Frankie

#terminator: dark fate #terminator: dark fate spoilers #grace x dani #dani x grace #sarah connor #carl #rev9 #rev-9 #drabbles and thoughts #thank you for joining me in this

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horansqueen · 5 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 24

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- of course i wasnt going to make you wait for them to get friends again. it had to be done quickly. but it was needed for Niall to realize that he cant be without her, you know? also, there will be more drama in the next chapters i believe.

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 24 : His chapter

NIALL

I never thought i'd ever have to get over my best friend. I never thought i'd ever lose her at all. But I had to be honest with myself. She was gone, and she had been gone for a while now. A day had turned into a week and a week into 5 more, and there was only one way I found to take my mind off of Liv, at least for a couple hours a day. It was Maya. I asked her on a few dates and after a while, I had no choice but to accept being official. We didn't announce it but we had been seen together and every time a new picture of us appeared online, I couldn't help but wonder if Olivia had seen it and if that made her even angrier at me.

She was not dating Harry or at least, if she was, they had been very discreet about it. They were seen together but never hand in hand or showing affection. They were probably keeping that private and I couldn't lie and pretend it didn't twist my stomach. I felt like they were best friends now and although I knew it sounded juvenile, I couldn't help but be slightly jealous.

I wanted to call her, text her or even go see her more than anything but I didn't. I was trying to respect that she needed time away from me even if it was killing me. Meanwhile, I was trying to keep myself busy and I couldn't pretend Maya wasn't helping. I had been writing a lot, too, throwing my feelings into songs. I had never been the best when it came to expressing my emotions and the only way i could really do it was through music.

"Still writing?"

I suddenly got out of my thoughts and looked up, meeting the eyes of my girlfriend who sat in front of me at the kitchen's table. She bent closer, trying to read what I was writing but I quickly closed my notebook and sent her a small smile.

"Sorry, not really in the mood to share." I explained, shaking my pen between two of my fingers.

Her smile faded and she shrugged. With time, I had learned to decipher most of her body language and expression and I knew that she was hurt and a bit jealous. It was tough with Maya, she was not straightforward the way Olivia was and most of the time I had to guess what she wanted and how she felt. I had to admit it made the relationship harder to deal with and way more exhausting than it should be.

We remained in silence for a few minutes as I tried to decide if I wanted to ask her what was wrong, or if I just wanted to let go and pretend nothing was happening. It's not that I didn't feel anything for Maya. In fact, I had affection for her and I cared about her, but at the same time, there was something missing. It was not her, she was not the problem. The problem was me and how I couldn't seem to be totally happy without my best friend.

"Can I ask you something?"

I stopped breathing but dared looking up at Maya who had tilted her head and was now playing with her fingers. I knew that whatever that question was about, it would bring a painful conversation and I really was not in the mood. Still, I nodded gently.

"Do you love me, Niall?"

Of all the questions I thought she could ask, this would never have crossed my mind. My lips parted and my eyebrows raised as I tried to find a nice way to answer her.

"Maya, we've been dating for less than a month, I mean, I just don't catch feelings like that, you know? Love is a big deal."

"Fine." she replied a little roughly. "Then just tell me this, do you think you'll ever be able to love me as much as you love her?"

She had put emphasis and maybe a bit of disgust on the last word and although I knew exactly who she was talking about, I simply frowned and leaned against my chair, pretending not to understand.

"Don't act like you don't know who i'm talking about, Niall." she pointed out, her facial expression turning into an angry one. "Just answer me and be honest."

I sighed a bit louder than intended and crossed my arms on my chest. I knew it would be painful and i was right.

"I don't know okay?" i let out meanly, shaking my head and bringing one of my hands on my face. "I've known her since we were kids, she's my best friend, she was always there for me and me for her, we did almost everything together. I've never been away from her except when i was on tour and it sucked so much that I invited her on the last one. What are you asking me, Maya? You want me to compare my relationship with you to the one I have with her? Do you really want that?"

Silence. A heavy silence that weighed on both of us until she just shook her head.

"No." she let out firmly before getting up. "I don't really want that."

I remained sitting while she grabbed her stuff and waited until I heard the front door open and close to rub my eyes and groan low. Was it always going to be like that when i'd date a girl? Was I cursed to live this conversation over and over again? What will happen when it comes to someone I really have feelings for? Would it be ruined because of my friendship with Olivia? I opened my eyes suddenly, realizing that maybe that was exactly why Liv was gone. Maybe our friendship was threatening what she was building with Harry and she decided to pick him over me. The thought made something boil inside me and I tried to calm myself. I was not even sure that it was the reason she left but it would be very bad if it was, especially after telling me the opposite before.

Quickly, I got up and walked to the living room, sitting down and grabbing my laptop. I felt my leg shake as I was waiting for it to open up and I didn't even have to type up the address : the page simply opened, telling me I hadn't closed it last night.

Since we stopped talking, I had read somewhere that Olivia started working again. Her dad had a web site and she wrote a few articles for him online, most of the being reviews of recent movies playing in theaters even if a few times, she had the chance to see them before. I had read every single critics she wrote and left a few comments but I had never heard from her. I also stared way too long at her picture in the small circle at the beginning of every article and it was a bit sad. I didn't know you could become obsessed with someone to the point of stalking them online.

I sighed, quickly typing a comment on her latest work and shook my head after clicking 'enter'.

'Can't believe you saw this movie without me 😝'

With an other sigh, I closed the top of my laptop and leaned against the couch, rubbing my eyes again. Every single day, I fought the need to call her and every single day, I stayed an hour just laying in bed, in the dark, wondering what we would talk about if she was here with me. A few times, I would feel Maya cuddle me but tonight, I would definitely be alone.

I had thought about asking Harry to talk to her for me but changed my mind quickly. I also thought about asking him how she was doing but I felt like she would be mad for intruding her life when she had clearly asked for a break, so I didn't do anything. In fact, I hadn't talked to Harry ever since that ridiculous double date and I was fine with it. I had no reason to be mad at him but I was and I resented him for somehow taking my best friend away from me, as if it was his fault.

I was thinking about taking a shower when my phone beeped. I groaned, thinking it was probably Maya who wanted to talk about what had happened between us and I almost didn't check but it beeped for a second time and I searched through my pants to find it.

'We can always go see it again together if you want to.' was the first message I saw, making me sit up better and blink a few times.

'I miss you Nee' was the second one I received and with this one, I swallowed hard.

I remained motionless, my fingers over the keyboard that appeared on my screen, trying to decide what to answer. I wanted to beg her to come back or ask her what took her so long to message me but instead, I licked my lips and typed down how I really felt.

'I fucking miss you too.'

I knew it was pathetic but I stayed there, staring at my phone, until she answered again. It's not like I could think about anyone or anything else anyway.

'A drink? My place?'

I felt my heart twist at the thought of getting my best friend back. I felt like we had so much to talk about even if we had been apart only a few weeks and I jumped off my couch, typing my answer.

'I'll be there in 10'

It took me exactly 8 minutes until I was ringing her doorbell and she quickly let me in. I literally ran up the stairs and knocked at the door which opened immediately. There she was, standing in front of me, looking exactly how I remembered, except maybe for a few small details I couldn't put my fingers on.

"Hey, you look amazing." I let out, panting slightly because of my quick ascent.

She chuckled and moved away to let me in, pushing on the door so it would close behind me. I felt like I hadn't stepped foot here in so long and it made me wonder why in hell I hadn't asked her to live with me yet. I was not going to propose her today but I tried to take a mental note to ask her soon.

"I look like crap, but thank you."

I followed her to the kitchen, leaving my jacket on the couch and I watched her open the fridge. I smiled and thanked her when she handed me a beer, noticing she trying to open her own by herself, when she normally asks for my help. I put my own beer down on the table and took a few steps closer, placing my hand on her bottle. My fingers brushed against her and I could swear her eyes became bigger.

"Let me help you." I proposed in a whisper before her fingers loosened from around her beer.

I hadn't been that close to her in a while and her perfume invaded my nose again, the mix of honey and vanilla making me slightly dizzy,

"You smell good." I breathed out after opening her beer.

I close my eyes tight at the stupidity of my words and I expected her to laugh but after a few seconds, I opened my eyes again only to see her staring at me. We were both still holding her drink but neither of us seemed to be able to move and I let my eyes roam on her face. There were so many things stuck in my throat but I just swallowed hard before talking.

"Please, say we can be friends and hang out again." I whispered, almost begging.

Her face softened and her parted lips curled into a fond smile. I don't know what suddenly came over me but I let go of her beer to cup her face and crash my lips against hers. It was a simple kiss, just a way to show her how happy I was that she was back in my life.

"Sorry." I apologized after pulling away slightly. "You know I suck with words."

My face was still close to her and my hands still pressed on her cheeks but she simply chuckled and nodded slowly, staring in my eyes.

"Y-Yeah." she whispered. "I'm not sure what that means either but... okay."

Her voice was soft and I wouldn't have heard her words if she was not so close to me. I smiled at her and shrugged with one shoulder.

"I don't know, just that I missed you."

I watched her lick her lips and put her hands over mine, bringing them down but she squeezed my fingers and I took a step back.

"How about we chat for a bit?" she proposed, raising her eyebrows. "We haven't talked in a while."

We ended up sitting together in the living room and since her couch was smaller than mine, I could feel her leg against mine as we remained silent, drinking our beer and enjoying the silence. It was not awkward, it never was between us, and I put my arm on the back of the couch, catching her attention as she turned to look at me.

"What happened to us, Niall?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I sighed, sitting better and moving closer to her at the same time. She looked sad, like something was hurting her, and I couldn't help but wonder what exactly made her so unhappy : the fact that we had been separated for weeks, or that we were together at this exact moment?

"I don't know, Liv." I started, looking down but not really seeing anything. "Something happened when we came back from the tour and I'm not sure what it is."

When I looked up, I noticed she was staring at me teary-eyed and I felt my heart twist in my chest. She licked her lips and it made me realize I could still taste her on mine. Could that platonic kiss be considered cheating if I liked it? Was it wrong if it tasted good and made me feel even better?

"Did you have time to think?" she asked again, nibbling on her bottom lip now. "Did you find out if it's me you want in your life or if i'm just filling an empty spot?"

I held my breath at how bad her words sounded and moved closer, taking her hands in mine with her face only a few inches away from hers.

"I still maintain what I said." I pointed out firmly. "It's you. I can't be without you."

She nodded and closed her eyes, leaning against the couch with a sigh. I didn't know if it was a sigh of despair or relief but I kept squeezing her fingers. As I looked at her, I thought about Maya's words and started questioning myself. Could it be true? Would my love and friendship with Liv ruin all the relationships i'd ever have? Would I always love her more than all the girls I could ever date? It made no sense to think a friendship could take so much space and I had no idea if it had always been this way or if it was recent.

"How are things going with Maya?" she asked reluctantly, as I remembered that she was gone.

"We had a... misunderstanding. She left."

"I thought you two were official now?"

I looked up in her eyes and sighed, wondering if I should tell her the truth or not but I decided that I would never hide her anything anymore. It brought too much shit into our life to simply lie about a sex story that I didn't want to risk it again.

"We were... are... I don't know. She asked me if I'd ever love her as much as I love you."

Olivia's eyes got bigger and I just shrugged, shaking my head. I didn't know what else to say but I knew she was expecting some explanations and I just let go of her hands to wipe mine on my pants. There was no reason for me to be so nervous but I was and I just inhaled deeply.

"I don't think you realize how jealous of you Maya is."

Olivia's lips were parted and she was looking at me a bit shocked by my revelation. If I wanted to be honest, I felt like Maya's jealousy was extremely obvious but at the same time, i could understand that Liv hadn't noticed it. In the past few weeks, I had realized just how insecure my best friend was and I knew it was partially my fault. She had told me about a few comments she read online, comments that I hadn't even noticed, but I could understand they had hurt her even if I honestly thought she should never give hate any kind of attention.

"What did you tell her."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised that my answer was all she cared about but also by the vulnerability in her voice. Were my words that important? Did it really matter to her that my love for her was stronger than my love for anyone else?

"I told her no to go there, that it wasn't to her advantage."

She stared at me a few more seconds, her eyes roaming on my face, and I was close to tell her how much I loved her when she threw herself in my arms. I held her close to me, pressing her body against mine although we were both sitting in weird position. The hug was a bit awkward but she squirmed closer to me and I buried my nose in her neck and closed my eyes, my arms completely wrapped around her. It felt good and it had been way too long since the last time I held her close to me like that. It made me want to never let go.

I felt my heart twist when she moved away but I let my eyes roam on her face for the hundredth time in the last hour, as if i hadn't seen it in forever, and it really felt like it.

"How are you and Harry?" I asked, almost scared of the answer.

"We're okay."

I knew our couples were not a good discussion to have if only for the fact that so many things happened when we were apart and we were not sure where we stood. We both didn't really agree with those relationships and it was tough to handle for both of us. If I wanted to be honest, I also felt guilty for telling her that I wouldn't date Maya and the doing then opposite but I was grateful she hadn't mentioned it.

"We're staying friends this time, right?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and waiting until her eyes met mine. "Please, Olivia."

She just remained motionless, looking at me with a sad expression, and there was nothing I wanted more than to make her smile. I sighed and without thinking more, I spat awfully in my hand, making her head move back slightly in surprise. Her eyes moved down to the hand I was showing her and then back in my eyes and she smiled. Fondly, this time.

"Best friends forever?"

She chuckled and shook her head before spitting in her hand too. We shook hands and the feeling of our spits spreading in my palm made me grimace in disgust. My face made her laugh loudly and I closed my eyes.

"Best friends forever."

When we took our hands back, we both laughed and just got up, rushing to the sink. We washed out hands together and I glanced at her, noticing that her smile was back. Her happiness had always been a priority for me but it was even more real now that I knew how much I had hurt her in the past.

"Hey, how about we go to the movies, you know? See that movie you watched without me?"

She looked up at she was wiping her hands on a towel and raised her eyebrows, a smile still gracing her lips... the lips I had just kissed a few minutes earlier. Why did I do that?

"Alright, let me get changed."

She rushed to her room and came back ten minutes later. I chuckled and shook my head when my eyes fell on her shirt and I looked up in her eyes again.

"You're not going to wear that, right?"

She grinned, totally amused and glad that it had the effect she most likely expected, and I looked down again only to see five familiar faces, including mine, printed on her shirt.

"A One Direction shirt?"

"Yea, and worn while hanging out with a One Direction boy. I think it fits." she explained, grabbing her purse before pushing her hand between the cushions of her couch, probably searching for something.

"We were like, 16 or something on that shirt!" I pointed out.

"No you were 18, it was not so long ago, remember?" she asked, putting on the cap she had just found in the couch.

"No!" I joked, making her laugh again.

Her eyes met mine and I suddenly felt better, like something had lighted up inside me. I put my hands in my pockets and she walked up to me, tilting her chin up to look at me.

"Are you okay walking around in public with me wearing this shirt?"

At this point, if I wanted to be honest with myself, I was ready to do anything she would ask me to do, if only to make sure I wouldn't lose her again. But I didn't tell her that, I couldn't tell her that.

"Will be tough but yes."

She chuckled, rolling her eyes, and just grabbed my arm, pulling me with her. We took her car and when she parked in front of the movie theater, I rushed out to open her door for her. She got out of the car and I pushed on the door to close it as she stared at me.

"Thank you," she let out, her eyebrows raised. "When did you get so gallant?"

I bent down with a smirk, my face now very close to hers.

"I always was."

I stopped breathing when I saw her eyes drop to my lips and I was wondering if she was thinking about the short and plain kiss I gave her in her kitchen, because I was, and it was annoying.

"Come on." I said after clearing my throat, moving back but wrapping on of my arms on her shoulders. "My treat."

"Thanks, i love your rich ass." she joked as I paid for the tickets.

I turned her way and bent slightly to grab her hand, pulling her inside me with after taking the tickets.

"Now, you're not aloud to laugh at the jokes before they happen, or talk over the characters." I point out, still holding her hand, both our arms stretched as she stood slightly away from me. "I know you. I watched 'Back to the Future' a millionth times with you, you're an ass and you literally tell the dialogues at the same time than the characters. Out loud."

"I'm not an ass!" she laughed, squeezing my fingers.

I pulled on her hand and made her twirl as she laughed more and finally took her closer into an other hug. Her laughter was light and happy and once again, it made my heart twist in my chest. I had missed her so much, way too much. And there was no way I was going to let her go again. I was going to make her my priority, no matter what shit it would get me into.

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles story #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #my fanfics #i just want to start the next chapter rn lol #so sorry it took me so long guys!

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polzkadotz · 4 years

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Asas reread their fics - ftayc - part 4

And we’re back to rereading this fic!!!! last chapter i reread was the 7k monster of chapter 3, and this one... oh. Oh, this is also 7k?

wowie

if you want a spoiler to interest you, here we go lmao

we begin with this author’s note bc I don’t think I ever really talked about it here on my tumblr???

It was sort of my first time being recommended, really. I had noticed that my hit count had gone up substantially and I couldn’t understand it, but it was nice??? and then i found the post on the library and I was like Oh. I See.

Whoever it was that recommended me, thank you. Seriously.

But enough mushy-wushy, let’s tackle this giant.

We begin with this exchange, which...

I was trying to be funny and this still makes me smile so at least I amuse myself lmao

Neil needs to free himself of the plot device I pulled out of nowhere and he taps into his reserves of power that he has hid away for, basically, forever. One thing that I wish I had made more clear, which was basically the vitriol going through my mind as I wrote this fic, was that Neil had been cutting himself of his powers and how powerful he was for a fucking long time because

1) he bought into his mom’s reasoning that his father was simply Not Someone They Could Face and Win

2) he had made himself fit into a mold that would “make him survive” but, by doing so, he basically chained himself to a fraction of the three-dimensional person he used to be, which made meeting Jean and finding out that he had become a pet god for a human even worse because Neil could see all the ways they were similar but Neil had been doing that shit to himself voluntarily.

Originally, when I thought about making Neil a god in this fic, I did think about modeling him out of an existing god but also, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to make him be someone who was struggling with letting himself be what he was with his full-potential. Someone who had been cutting himself back for so long he had basically lost whatever sense of personhood he used to have. Someone who had started to get tired of cutting parts of himself and forgetting what he used to be so he would survive for--

What? Survive for what? Neil eventually realized he hadn’t been a person for too long and as long as his father was alive, he would never feel safe to be.

Now that I think about it, Neil was very much me working through my own shit about trying to live as myself at the same time that I had different versions of past me struggling with the person I was becoming. The person I wanted to be.

Anyway, back to the story.

There’s a throwaway paragraph where I sort of tease that Andrew’s dragon is becoming "hungry” and it was basically me trying very hard to foreshadow that the priest thing was going to happen lmao

After battling for two paragraphs against the thought of creating a new priest, Neil gets them back on track to go as far away as its possible for both dragons flying.

Nicky tries to get Neil to talk about the god thing, and I like how I made it clear that even being reminded that he had been a god was something conflicting to Neil.

And then we get to the part where Neil suddenly remembers that he has a lot more money than what he had previously said in the first few chapters, but who cares about plot consistency, am I right? Does it show that this fic was edited hastily? Because I can guarantee that it was :3

They stop in Mumbai, I think (the place is not important for past Asas and honestly... can’t say that’s changed lol). Nicky tries to get Neil to talk more about being immortal and stuff. Neil gives a bit of backstory, as a treat, and Kevin reveals what he knows, as a threat I guess lmao

I kind of imply that Neil only had one priest, which... I remember is not what I put in the sequel.............. so I do recommend you reread your fics before writing a new piece, wink-wink

OH MY GOD I MADE NICKY ASK WHY NEIL’S ENGLISH “WASN’T WEIRD” AND THEN I REPLIED WITH A SENTENCE THAT WAS BASICALLY STRUCTURED WITH PORTUGUESE GRAMMAR AND SOUNDS VERY WRONG IN ENGLISH

Asas... my god, Asas.

Anyway, after a lot of questioning, they eventually go to sleep and, when Neil wakes up from a nightmare, he has his daily fairy tale dose from Andrew, who’s also awake. I gotta be honest, I don’t even remember that fairy tale but it explains the Aaron, Andrew and Tilda.

After everybody wakes up from their naps, they go to their last destination: Tokyo.

Wait lemme check:

when did they leave Mumbai in my story?

when did they reach Tokyo?

yeah, that math totally checks out.

Whatever. As they arrive in Tokyo, Neil splurges even more money on a hotel for the whole crew, even though they had been pretty not nice to him as a whole lmao. But! The boy believed he was going to die, so what was he going to do with all that money?

Nothing, so he programmed an email to be sent to Andrew with the info for some of his bank accounts and fucked off to try and find what his mother had stolen.

Neil gets on a ferry that will take six hours to reach the island where is the volcano that his mother had made him hide his father’s immortality. Neil got nekkid because he wanted to have clothes when he got out of the volcano, you know?

(Also, yes, I’m gonna ignore the other time inconsistency from his travel inside Japan, I was very much pressured by the whole “got recommended on the library” okay, you can judge me through those lenses)

Unfortunately, for him, he wasn’t alone when he finally climbed out of the volcano.

Fortunately for him, this Ichirou Moriyama doesn’t want his father, who is very much interested in becoming immortal, to actually become immortal. Neil explains the whole immortality thingy (I found some typos and honestly? I shan’t fix them. It adds character) and Ichirou subtly kicks Neil’s clothes closer to him, which... I get it, my guy. It’s kind of difficult to have an intimidating conversation when someone’s bits are out and about.

As they are trying to hash out their problem -- as in, Neil’s father told them that Neil’s immortality would be viable to cure Kengo --, Andrew appears blowing his ball of flames onto both of them, and Neil uses his powers to create a pocket that repels the fire, so it doesn’t touch him or Ichirou.

(Why didn’t he use those powers on his clothes, as well? Dunno, don’t poke at my plot too much or it will definitely crumble right into your face, you’re gonna inhale too much dust and die from fandom toxicity, AND THAT’S NO WAY TO REACH A GOOD DEATH)

btw:

Neil, my dude. The dragon thought you were in danger? Chill out???

Neil rages for a few seconds but quickly turns that into a situation to ask Moriyama for his protection against his father, since Neil just technically saved his life.

Oh, and if you think “Uhhh, why would Neil even believe that Ichirou would keep his word?”

Don’t worry, I gotchu:

Ichirou agrees with the deal, for plot reasons. Since he got a deal out of it kind of easily, Neil thinks, “Wait a minute. If I give my father’s immortality to this Moriyama, literally passing the hot potato around, then the Moriyamas won’t be after me for an immortality, my father probably won’t be immortal and come after me as the death machine he used to be and I might be able to use it to free a certain god????”

So Neil uses his father’s immortality to bargain for Jean’s freedom, and he doesn’t wait for Moriyama’s response for that one. He simply hops onto dragon!Andrew’s back and they fly away into the... sunset? Sunrise? Don’t ask me, I clearly can’t keep track of the time passage in my fics.

And this is the end of the chapter!

Let me say something that I hope will be quick: this chapter felt much better written to me then the other three. It’s shaky in places, definitely, and it could’ve gone through a more severe round of editing, but I can certainly feel the positive outcomes of the pressure I felt after my work got a shout-out. This fic had been pretty much geared towards myself, so writing about the world-building wasn’t my focus at all in the other three chapters. In this one, I try to at least explain some concepts I came up with which???? Go me??????

I still wish I had taken the time to work on this entire fic to make it as close to what I had in my head, but in a comprehensive form for the attention that it got, you know? I mean, from the ashes you crawl is still my most everything -- most kudos, hits, comments, bookmarks... It deserved so much better but also... I like that it feels rough? I like that it can clearly help to contrast the growth of my style or whatever?

It was written after a long, long writer’s block, and it only got edited and posted because I decided to participate in an event for a different fandom and it got me excited about writing again.

Anyway, I’ve talked too much. Here’s to hoping I can contain myself in the next posts lmao

#rereading #fic: from the ashes you crawl #fic: ftayc #dragon!andrew #dragon!andrew minyard #god!neil #asas reread their fics #god!neil josten #all for the game #all for the game fic #aftg fics #andrew minyard #neil josten #my fics #tfc fics #my writing

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mysterylover123 · 5 years

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BNHA Rewatch: Season 1 Episode 6 “Rage, You Damn Nerd”

mysterylover123

Episode 6, with the best most hilarious title ever! Tells you exactly what you’re in for.

Finally, Bakugo’s reaction! I seriously was waiting through all three episodes for this. Like a Hitchcockian bomb under the table. Almost literally!

Bakugou .exe has stopped working.

Aizawa starts his pattern of lying to Class A to get them to do their best. He kinda stops doing this after a while, I’m guessing because it doesn’t take lying anymore, just let Wonder Duo go running off at the mouth and they’ll do the job just as well.

Momo’s first line! I think we’re introduced to her in a method meant to make her seem a bit smug and condescending, which is interesting - Momo has a similar trajectory to Bakugou in some ways, introduced as Hot Shit and embarrassment used to break that ego, so this is important to keep in mind.

Aizawa and All Might seemed like they were gonna have a rivalry in early drafts and that got dropped. Anyway, I’m noting the timeline here, as All Might drops the info that this is April 8 (April Fool’s day was Last Week).

The friendship trio forms! Yay! (BTW I ship Uraraka and Iida, if you didn’t know.) We get a quick sum up of life at UA (sob why can’t my school be more like this) and then transfer on to the start of the Battle Trial Arc. Here it goes!

Everyone’s in costume! I figured I’d use my fave Costumes for my ranker today, so I’ll comment on them below. (BTW I loved this arc a lot the first time around. I adored how perfect it feels as a simulated Heroes v Villains exercise.)

All the detailed info on designing costumes and enrolling quirks is another thing I enjoy about BNHA; it feels like such a well-realized world, probably the most fully realized one I’ve encountered in some ways. Horikoshi is so obsessive over details, I love it.

And it actually serves as a means to illustrate character. Since they designed the costumes themselves, everyone’s choices tell you a little something about who they are. I think that both Deku and Kacchan’s costumes are designed to look like All Might’s - both have pointy hoods like his spiky hair, both have metal gear around the neck, etc. They look alike, yet opposite.

Deku’s first costume is so doofy looking, though. And it’s kind of symbolic of his whole issue at this point: he wants too badly to be like All Might, so he covers up his own face with a mask that has this weird, distorted fascimile of All Might’s hair and smile. He really needs to up that confidence!

This is followed by an adorable sequence of All Might trying to be a teacher and explaining the rules of the BTA. I totally empathize with All Might here; starting at a new job like this can’t be easy. (now I’m thinking about the “Even Idiots Can be Teachers” joke in Episode 52 and laughing)

I wish there was more to comment on with the BTA teams. A few of them feel important. Kaminari and Jirou, of course; one of my ships, they hang out a lot. Also , Ojiro/Tooru, and Tsuyu/Tokoyami get teamed up here (but not Momo and Shoto or Kiri/Mina, so I refuse to call it a shipping pattern). Ashido and Aoyama have a bit of a rivalry going on that starts here. Everyone else’s is pretty random.

And now the fated showdown of destiny! Well, the first time, anyway. I could watch these two fight all day. The whole series could just be them fighting each other back and forth and yelling while YSR plays and I’d be fine.

Bakugou is so salty about Deku! The first time around, of course, he just comes across as an asshole. Rewatching it though, it does seem fairly reasonable to be pissed off that Deku’s apparently been lying to him this whole time (because he doesn’t know about OFA, and Deku didn’t even both to lie to him like he did to his mom), and they are fighting in an organized combat mission, so his behavior here makes total sense in hindsight. Amazing how that character development works.

Uraraka is initially really blase about doing well. in hindsight, I think one of her flaws (at this stage, anyway) was that she basically didn’t know what she wanted and pretty much coasted on Deku (she says as much during the sports festival). She gets over that quickly, but flaws make good characters, so I wanted to point it out.

Incoming Deku “Kacchan Sugoi” moment #1. I love this little twist, too, on the way we perceive Deku. He doesn’t want revenge on Katsuki or something like that. He wants to beat him (”the incarnation of victory”). Deku is not some frail flower needing protection from the world. Don’t let his cuteness fool you.

Deku is so effing cool here, TBH - brilliant, tactical, strong, and brings his rival down to earth by judo-tossing him. Damn, the animation on Baku hitting the floor though, you can feel that impact. No wonder he was so pissed! (Deku’s strategic mind is one of my favorite things about him. Also the symbolism in Baku blasting away part of his All Might mask! 1/2 of the whole!)

“From now on, Deku is the name of my hero!” Once again that trio of foil-y ness between Deku, Kacchan and Uraraka. I wonder if it’s a relic of when the series was originally gonna be them as a trio, a la Naruto/Harry Potter/etc, so they were designed to all foil each other in some way? It’s not as much in the series proper, but it’s interesting nonetheless. Also, You Say Run! Down the bottle! (3rd episode in a row).

In sum, I love this episode. Costumes! All Might teaching! The Battle Trial Arc! Bakugou being crazy (I mostly gush over Deku a lot, but I love Kacchan too. Crater-sized faults and all). And of course, all of the...

BKDK Corner:

Cute flashbacks! Adorable flashbacks are adorable. Little Bakugou is so arrogant; if he was an adult he would be insufferable, but because he’s just a kid it’s cute.

Now to get into a little analysis! This ep marks the first time we actually delve into the depths of Bakugou’s psyche, and basically to sum it up: He’s scared of Deku because he deep down knows that Deku is better than him, fearing that Deku will surpass him, and doesn’t understand why. It’s amazing how the characters introduced at this part of the series as simple archetypes (relatable hero, bully, nice girl, uptight boy) become so complex as the series goes on. Not to be taken at face value.

Uraraka changing the meaning of Deku is another moment that parallels the Deku/Kacchan and Deku/Ochaco dynamics. Again, I’m not sure what that means in the long run, only that paralleling Izuku’s romance subplot with his main rivalry has interesting implications.

“So, you know Bakugou? He’s kind of mean to you, right?” ‘“Yes but he’s also super amazing special awesome and cool and did I mention amazing? Let me present my eighty page thesis to you on why Kacchan is cool.” OK, exaggerating. But it is interesting how much Deku admires and looks up to Kacchan despite him being such a jerk, so seemingly the opposite of what Deku wants to be as a hero. Basic 2 sides/same coin stuff, of course. Kacchan has all the self-assurance, power and pride that Deku lacks (at least at this point).

Deku speaks fluent Kacchan and predicted exactly what he would do. He knows his S/O so well.

“I took notes on all amazing heroes, including you” Subtle, Deku. Wanna make your crush a little more obvious? (also check out the BNHA smash comic of this, where he takes it up a notch and reveals what a full-blown stalker he actually is).

This is definitely their lowpoint of antagonism, though. This early part of the series, where they’re both mad at each other. I do think that Deku never really hated Bakugou, though; he hates things about him, but not him as a person. (Deku is way too forgiving.) Bakugou hated him, but I think that’s fading away in the current timeline (so weird, the last time we saw these two in the manga they were chilling on a couch together and drinking tea. Such a crazy contrast with rewatching this!)

Best Girl of the Episode: Kyoka Jiro!

more info on her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7FVXWFFm4w&t=481s

Ranker: Favorite Hero Costumes

5. Nejire Hado’s!

I’m not sure why, but she has one of my favorite costumes of the whole series. it looks so good on her, it’s simple and tells you who she is.

4. Izuku Midoriya’s (3.0)!

Deku’s third costume is amazing and looks cool. It’s sleek and powerful and badass, somehow taking that dopey baseline design and turning it awesome.

3. Camie Utsushimi’s!

It’s so simple yet so great. Bodysuit, white boots and that awesome Shiketsu hat. Yet it works. It looks cool, even with the boob window.

2. Katsuki Bakugo’s!

It’s so ridiculous and yet so perfect. Exactly what you’d expect Bakugo to design for his outfit. Keeping in character and suitably dark.

1. Ochaco Uraraka’s!

My favorite in the whole bunch. It looks so much like a space heroine super suit - I especially like it with the helmet. It’s all there for her quirk, too - there’s an explanation behind each piece of gear. (BTW, Bakugou and Uraraka had the same designer. They really lucked out!)

#my hero academia #season 1 episode 6 #rage you damn nerd #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugou #uraraka ochako #tenya iida #All Might #katsudeku #bakudeku #rage you damn nerd is such a great title #really says it all #bakugou is bad at feelings #is a hashtag for a reason #the rivalry manifests #i could write an essay on it #or twelve #i'll try and settle for recaps #for now anyway

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