#tw trauma recovery

[whump-about-it]

Solid Ground

@whumpril Day 6: Dizziness

CW: vomiting, trauma recovering, dissociation, mentions of kidnap, drugging, memory loss, mentions of shooting.

The room was spinning around Whumpee. Warping and tilting dizzyingly enough to make their stomach spasm with nausea. They wanted to close their eyes against the living kaleidoscope in front of them but they knew that if they did they’d be trapped in the darkness behind them. The inside of their head had never been a particularly pleasant place to be, but it had been especially torturous as of recent events. So they stayed staring ahead of themselves, not even daring to blink until they were forced to by way of someone shining a light directly in their eyes.

Whumpee had forgotten there were other people in the room with them. Well, forgotten may have been the wrong word. They had been hearing talking, even yelling at a few points, but they hadn't registered any of the human noise, tuning it all out in favor of the spinning existence around them and the screaming voices inside of their head. Remembering that they weren't alone oddly settled the voices a little and the kaleidoscope with it. After a few minutes Whumpee was able force themselves to turn their head towards the person who had had been examining them.

Caretaker stood out in blessed focus against the backdrop of the the still spinning room. They must have been on duty because their normally soft knit sweaters and baggy jeans were replaced at the moment with much more professional work scrubs. They still looked back at Whumpee with the same familiar, laughing eyes though, even if their smile was a little sad.

"Hi Whumpee. Are you back with us?"

Whumpee swallowed, a metallic taste in their dry throat, and blinked at Caretaker slowly. They weren't exactly sure they could speak yet, but they didn't want to nod to let Caretaker know they'd understood them. The act of moving their head a fraction of an inch had been dizzying enough to make bile rise in their throat, and they didn't think it would stay there if they tried any more movement. Caretaker seemed to take Whumpee's blinking as a good sign though. Because they smiled again and patted Whumpee's hand.

"Getting there." They said more to themselves than to Whumpee.

"Who did I shoot?" Whumpee asked suddenly, the words slipping out of their mouth in a blank voice before they knew they had thought of them. They couldn't remember having shot anyone, but they knew they had, just before they had ended up here with Caretaker sitting in front of them.

"No one," Caretaker answered quickly "You missed."

"Who?" Whumpee asked again. Caretaker's eyes darted around the room before answering.

"My brother."

Oh, that's right.

Caretaker's brother was Whumpee's boss. Whumpee had been trying to get cleared for field duty again after being kidnapped by Whumper's men. During the shooting test they had tried to imagine the paper targets were Whumper and their goonies, taking all their anger and fear out on them with each shot. But that was when everything had gone down hill.

Whumpee had been drugged the whole time they'd been kidnapped and couldn't remember most of what had happened while they were in captivity. The memories had been coming back fractured and slowly over the past couple of weeks and Whumpee had been trying hard ignore them. Suddenly focusing on the memories, the little fragments of faces and voices that Whumpee could conjure in their head, had caused a sudden onslaught of confusing memory to wash over them. It had been like a tsunami crashing down on them and leaving behind broken debris of memory, suddenly all there and all at once, but not together. The memories of their kidnap had mixed with memories from childhood, teenage years, even seeping into the present. Whumpee didn't know what they had done to cause Caretaker's brother to call out their name, but Whumpee had heard it in Whumper's voice. Of course they had reacted.

The room began to spin faster again, and Caretaker began to sway in and out of focus. Whumpee gasped at the memory of shooting at their boss, and their poor stomach gave out. Bile was rising in their throat again, and before they could control themselves they were vomiting all over the floor.

Caretaker just had time to jump out of the way of the splash zone and pirched themselves on the edge of the bed next to Whumpee rubbing their back soothingly as Whumpee began to uncontrolably sob and shake.

"S-sorry" Whumpee managed between sobs.

"Don't feel bad. Someone's already grabbing a mop."

Whumpee shook their head and resisted the urge to throw up again.

"You're brother."

"Oh. Don't feel bad about that either. You know half of his employee's want to shoot him anyway, my self included most days. Anyway he deserved it. I told him you weren't ready."

Whumpee pulled themselves out of their doubled over position and glared at Caretaker.

"Don't look at me like that." Caretaker retorted "I know you. You bottle things and pretend to be fine until you have the convenience of dealing with them at your own pace, which is never. Sometimes those bottles explode. I warned my brother, but you had him fooled into thinking you were ready."

"I am ready."

Caretaker gave Whumpee a significant look and gestured at floor.

"I'm fine." Whumpee tried to argue even thought there were still tears streaming down their face "I'm just... dizzy."

"We put you on a mild sedative, it could be that. Or, Teammate body slammed you into the ground pretty hard. I was actually checking for concussion when..."

Caretaker trailed off as Whumpee shook their head. Ironically, the room had stopped spinning around them, but the statement still stood.

"Inside my head." They tried to explain. "It's just been dizzying recently. I can't tell the difference between my memories and my nightmares. Even the memories that slip through, they don't tell me anything about what happened. And I shouldn't be reacting like this. The nightmares, paranoia, the vomiting. I've been through shit before, and I wasn't even hurt that bad this time. If I just get back to work, give myself something to distract me, I can get back on solid ground."

Caretaker was silent for a moment, rubbing Whumpee's back and considering their words. After a minute they slipped their arms fully around their friend and pulled them into a tight hug.

"That's not how these things work." They told Whumpee in a low voice. "Every trauma is different, and you've never experience anything like this before. You were kidnapped, and drugged, and have no idea what happened to you. Of course you're scared. Pretending it didn't happen isn't going to make it go away."

Whumpee sat stiffly in Caretaker's arms. They felt clammy and gross. Their skin was crawling and they were shaking like a leaf. They had just gotten their crying under control but they could feel the tears welling up again and a hard lump settling in their throat.

"But..." They whispered frogily "how do I make the world stop spinning?"

"You have to face it." Caretaker told them. Then hugged them tighter when Whumpee let out an involuntary sob. "You don't have to do it alone. There are lots of people who want to help you. Lean on us. We'll be your solid ground."

Whumpee finally relaxed into Caretaker's hug. Dissolving into tears again as they did. They let the tsunami wash over them. Soaking them until they were an embarrassing puddle of raw emotion and fractured memory left sitting in the aftermath. It was terrifying. It was painful. But it was the stillest the world had been in a long time.

#whumpril2024 #whumprilday6 #dizziness #whump drabble #whumpee x caretaker #stoic whumpee #emotional whump #tw trauma recovery #tw dissociation #tw guns #tw kidnap mention

[nerdnag]

Tw trauma recovery (no details)

I experienced a trauma when I was 16 that I've yet to fully recover from, and while I have tried to work through it in the past (with varying degrees of success), I've had a long period of time in the recent years where I've basically given up and tried to pretend it doesn't exist. For various reasons however, I intend to try to work on it more actively from now on, with the hope of possibly getting out the other end a healthier and happier person.

I've found an amazing self-help book that almost seems like it was written for me, it's so accurate. But it's incredibly difficult and anxiety-inducing to work through it all, so it's going to be a rough and demanding process 😔

Any pep talk or words of encouragement would really do a lot for me, as this will probably be the most difficult thing I'll ever do in my life and I am very scared (but I'll do it anyway!!)

#Tw trauma recovery #Tell me if I should use more/other tags. I never know what to tag for but it's super ok to request a specific tag #I might post more about this in the future as well #I don't know how in depth I'll go though because although I think it would be helpful for me to write about it #It's also a very sensitive subject #So I'll probably keep it rather general/vague #Tw trauma

[catgirl-kaiju]

me: hmh getting hungry

adhd: u can't eat rn you're already doing something

autism: there is nothing in the house that u like

anorexia: like u even need any calories

trauma: u've barely done anything today. you don't deserve to eat

little anime girl: burg her

me: burg her...

me:

little anime girl:

#shitpost #comedy #humor #legit anime girls eating burgers has helped with my ed so much #adhd #eating disoder recovery #anorexia #ed #eating disorder tw #burger #anime #trauma #traume recovery #mental health #actuallyadhd #actuallyautistic #autistic #tw disordered eating #neurodivergent

[compassionatereminders]

But I do think part of healing from trauma means sometimes giving people the chance to treat you right. And no, I'm not talking about forgiving your abusers. Or giving random people endless chances to hurt you. But sometimes you gotta fight that voice that says everyone just wants to harm you and give someone a chance to get close enough to actually prove it wrong.

#recovery #trauma #relationships #kat gets serious #trauma tw #abuse tw

[dirtyheathencommie]

DEAR EDUCATIONALLY NEGLECTED HOMESCHOOLERS

I’ve gathered some resources and tips and tricks on self-educating after educational neglect. This is only what I did and what I know helped me. I’m about to graduate college with honors after having no education past the age of 9. I wouldn’t be here without the following. Everything is free, and at/well above the standard for education in the US.

The holy grail: Khan Academy. Nearly every course you could take is available here, in order and by grade level. Their open-source free courses rival some of the college classes I’ve taken. This is your most solid resource.

For inattentive types: Crash Course offers a variety of courses that are snappy, entertaining, and extremely rewarding. They work for my ADHD brain. They also have college prep advice, which is essential if you’re looking to go to higher education with no classroom experience.

To catch up on your reading: There are certain books that you may have read had you gone to school that you’ve missed out on. This list is the most well-rounded and can fill you in on both children’s books and classic novels that are essential or at least extremely helpful to be familiar with. You can find a majority of these easily at a local library (and some for free in PDF form online low key). There are a few higher level classics in here that I’d highly recommend. If it doesn’t work for you, I’d always recommend asking your local librarian.

*BE AWARE* The book list I recommend suggests you read Harry Potter books, and given their transphobic author you may or may not want to read them. If you choose to, I’d highly recommend buying the books secondhand or borrowing from a library to avoid financially supporting a living author with dangerous and damaging views.

TEST, TEST, TEST: Again, Khan Academy is your go-to for this. I don’t personally like standardized testing, but going through SAT and ACT courses was the best way I found to really reveal my gaps so that I could supplement.

Finally: As much as you can, enjoy the process. Education can be thrilling and teach you so much about yourself, and help shape your view of the world. It can get frustrating, but I’d like to encourage you that everyone can learn. No pace is the perfect pace, and your learning style is the right learning style for you. In teaching yourself, be patient, be kind, and indulge in the subjects you really enjoy without neglecting others. You are your teacher. Give yourself what others chose not to.

#if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to message me anything #I’ll help however I can #homeschool #ex fundamentalist #ex homeschool #ex homeschooled #educational neglect #education #self education #ex fundie #send me asks #homeschool recovery #resources #educate yourself #ex christian #exvangelical #religious trauma #tw religion #deconstructing christianity

[4spooniesupport]

#traumagenic osdd #trauma #just cptsd things #living with cptsd #cptsd recovery #cptsd problems #abuse survival #parental abuse #mental abuse #emotional abuse #verbal abuse #tw abuse #childhood trauma #medical trauma #spoonie #chronically ill #chronic illness #disabled life #disability #mental illness #disabled community #invisible disability #chronic disease #mental heath support #complex ptsd #ptsd #actually ptsd #ptsd recovery #living with ptsd #actually cptsd

[ed-recoverry]

Credit

#mental health #positivity #self care #mental illness #self help #recovery #pro recovery #ed recovery #actually cptsd #actuallytraumatized #depression #trauma #traumacore #childhood trauma #ptsd #cptsd #pro for me not for thee #ana trigger #sh #tw s3lf harm #self h@rm #bpd #disordered eating thoughts #borderline personality disorder #low cal restriction #pro a4a #suicidal ideation #tw suicidality #ed not ed sheeran #actually ptsd

[warm-autumn-evenings]

*through tears* I BELONG HERE. ON THIS EARTH AMONG OTHERS. I BELONG JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT PERSON. I DESERVE TO BE ALIVE. I AM JUST AS GOOD AND BAD AS EVERYONE ELSE. I DESERVE TO BE LOVED. I DESERVE TO BE FREE.

#mental health #healing #recovery #self love #love #body neutrality #body image #depression #suicide tw #trauma recovery #trauma symptoms #traumatic childhood #trauma #cptsd recovery #cptsdhealing #complex ptsd #actually mentally ill

[lefluoritesys]

TW: talk about physical abuse

Friendly reminder that physical abuse isn't just hitting or throwing something at someone. It's also knowing that you are injured and making you walk around for hours. It's putting you through physical labour that is causing you physical harm. Anything they make you do that causes you physical harm is physical abuse. Don't put it in a box. (At least for the sake of your own mental health)

-physical protector & external soother

#did #osdd system #did system #osdd #system #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #system stuff #system things #did osdd #physical abuse #tw abuse #abuse survivor #child abuse #abuse trauma #complex trauma #childhood trauma #trauma #ptsd recovery #complex ptsd #ptsd #complex dissociative identity disorder #osdd 1a #osdd 1b

[subsystems]

If you were hurt by another child in your childhood, I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

If you experienced COCSA (child on child sexual abuse), I’m here for you. If you were bullied by other children, I support you. If another child committed any sort of violence or abuse onto you, I believe you. If it was a family member, a friend, or someone who you trusted a lot, I hear you. If it was complete stranger or someone you didn’t trust at all, I see you.

I understand how incredibly complicated and agonizing it can feel to know you were traumatized by another child, while you were a child. Especially if you hurt them back or were coerced by adults to hurt each other. That shit’s incredibly tough.

But you are not alone. I believe you. Know that recovery is possible and you’re on your way, even if it doesn’t feel like you are. I promise.

#sunflower posts #trauma recovery #actuallytraumatized #actuallydid #actuallytraumagenic #recovery #positivity #trauma support #abuse tw #csa tw

[whump-about-it]

Healing Isn't Linear

@whumpril Day 2: Sweat No Appetite

CW: angst, trauma recovery, trauma from recovery, set backs in recovery, disordered eating, possible eating disorder? (no body dysmorphia), referenced panic attacks, referenced nausea.

The clock on Whumpee's laptop read 8:45 p.m.. They'd been staring at it since 8:41, watching the minutes pass and trying to remember if they had adjusted the time for day light savings. Did their computer do that automatically? When did daylight's savings start anyway? Was it an hour later? Or an hour earlier?

It didn't really matter. The whole mental exercise was only a way for Whumpee to distract themselves from the fact that it was well past time that they should have eaten dinner. As well as the fact that they really should have noticed that earlier.

Whumpee had missed lunch too. And all they'd had for breakfast was half a slice of toast. Whumpee should have been hungry. They should have been starving. But they felt nothing.

It had been the same the day before. And the day before that too. In fact it had been several days since Whumpee had had any sort of appetite to speak of. They'd been able to ignore it up to this point, but the realization that things were getting bad again was beginning to sink in.

It had been a few years since Whumpee had escaped Whumper. The first year after had been rough. Their physical wounds had healed quickly, but the mental recovery was almost worse than anything Whumper had done to them.

When the initial relief of rescue had faded, fear had begun to set in. What if Whumper came back? What if Whumpee couldn't acclimate to the outside world? What if no one believed what had happened to them? The anxiety and desperation had begun to wear on Whumpee in as many physical ways as mental. They couldn't sleep. When they did they had horrible nightmares. Panic attacks were a near daily occurrence and the times between them were so fraught with anxiety that Whumpee could barely leave the house.

Everything came to a head with their appetite. The anxiety is what had started it. Even at their calmest, the tightness in Whumpee's chest was so constricting that they constantly felt on the verge of being out of breathe. Having to actually hold their breathe for any reason such as drinking or chewing felt so suffocating that Whumpee began to avoid such actions as much as possible. Soon enough, the feeling of hunger began to become synonymous with impending panic attacks, and then began to be replaced by them. Before long Whumpee had no appetite to speak of, and could only manage a few bites of food before panic would set in. Even the smell of food began to make Whumpee nauseous from the anxiety of knowing that eating it was going to make them suffer.

Even as their other symptoms began to improve, Whumpee's appetite stubbornly refused to return. They had wasted away to less than they had been when they were with Whumper. A pale, shivering, bag of bones, sinking into corners and shadows anytime food was brought up. Caretaker had had to apply some very tough love, before Whumpee eventually began to improve. Threatening to check them into impatient care if they didn't agree to getting treatment. The whole idea felt too much like being locked up again. So despite giving Caretaker the silent treatment for a month afterwards, Whumpee agreed.

It had been years since that had been an issue. Other problems would resurface occasionally. Insomnia, nightmares, panic attacks. And Caretaker was always quick to check on Whumpee's eating habits when they divulged to them that things were getting harder. But until now, Whumpee's appetite, and diet, had at least remained stabled.

It was thinking about Caretaker that finally compelled Whumpee to close their laptop and stand up. They would notice something was off soon if Whumpee didn't get a handle on the situation. The only reason they hadn't yet was because work was busy for them right now and they hadn't been over to Whumpee's house since before things started up. Their work wasn't slated to die down again anytime soon either, and Whumpee didn't want to give them anything else to worry about. So they made their way to the kitchen and pulled some leftovers out of the fridge.

You're going to be fine.

Whumpee told themselves as they watched their left overs spin lazily around the microwave.

You won't have a panic attack if you eat.

You'll still be able to breathe if you eat.

The microwave beeped its completion and Whumpee took the now steaming food out to set on the counter. They were hit with the warm, delicious smell of noodles and pasta sauce which they basked in for a split second before a wave of nausea washed over them so intense they doubled over.

Oh this isn't good.

Whumpee's chest tightened. Their throat felt like it was closing. The room began to wobble around them and their heart rate spiked.

You have to eat!

Even the thought of it made bile rise in Whumpee's throat. With one last mournful look at their dinner, Whumpee tossed it in the trash where the smell couldn't nauseate them anymore.

Maybe some crackers will do better.

#whump #whumpril2024 #no appetite #whump drabble #whumprilday2 #tw trauma recovery #tw phobia of food #tw disordered eating #tw possible eating disorder #depending on how you want to define that #based on my life

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

here’s a friendly reminder for survivors of any sort of abuse that

It wasnt your fault

You are strong

You didnt ask for it

No one gets to invalidate your experience

If someone invalidates your experience, you get to dump their ass

#i suffered through a friend abusing me #physically emotionally and mentally. These reminders save me everyday #childhood trauma #trauma #emotional abuse #parental abuse #sa survivor #abuse survivor #abuse recovery #child abuse #tw abuse

[punkstylerecovery]

if my body keeps score, will she remember when i grab another blanket to keep her warm? will she remember when i use mobility aids to make things easier for her? will she remember when i put down the blade and take a shower instead? does she recall the days i rest, when i watch our favorite shows and settle in to treat her with all the kindness i'm trying to convince myself we deserve? does she remember the love? does she recall the kindness? does she remember when i run my hands across our wounds and apologize? does she keep score of our healing?

#trauma recovery #tw self harm #sh mention #living with ptsd #punkstyle #disability #physical disability #cpunk #madpunk #actually disabled #ok to reblog #wrote this real quick so like #bear with me #but it got stuck in my head and #fjdaklhfjksalfdkja whatever #here you go #hope this like #does something for someone

[generic-whumperz]

Oh buddy just you wait

*cue the night terrors

#whump #whumpblr #whump blog #whumpee #escaped whumpee #free whumpee #traumatized whumpee #whump aftermath #trauma recovery #recovering whumpee #cptsd recovery #tw truama #tw ptsd #tw cptsd #whump rescue #recovery whump #whump recovery #whump drabble #whump memes #emotional whump #physical whump #just whumpy tings

[compassionatereminders]

If you have been through trauma, know this: You do not have to forgive them to heal. You do not have to forgive them to move on. You do not have to forgive them to be a good person. Insisting on the opposite is toxic positivity at best

#kat gets serious #recovery #trauma #trauma tw

[runby2]

its mytrauma and i get to make the the dolls reenact it and get through it and survive

and yes i get to use the gross words bc noone else will and we're not alone, damn it.

#klavier gavin #miles edgeworth #incestual trauma #trauma recovery #covert incest #ptsd #incestual abuse #tw incest #cw incest