#yes those are crystals to help me manifest because i needed everything to get me through law school..... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neo-culture-taste · 3 years

Text

Abeilles au Printemps - Ch 9

Alternate Title: Bees in Spring

Genre: AU, romance, drama, comedy, smut, who’s the daddy

Pairing: NCT x Y/N (fem)

Rating: Mostly mature themes/ language. Smutty chapters will be labeled 🐝.

Word Count: 11500+

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

OMFG. I can’t believe it has been an entire year since we posted the last chapter. 2020 was truly a mess, lmao. We’re SO sorry we made you wait that long! We had everything written and then we started adding and changing stuff to the point where we had to rewrite the entire thing. But it’s here now! And you’re in for a WILD ride. - D

“So is this how the rich and famous live?” commented Yuta as he drove down the wide street, passing various mansions in the neighborhood. “I bet there's a pool in every backyard and everyone owns their own boat.”

“Probably,” you responded weakly. You were too busy trying to pull the skin off from the sides of your fingers. A nasty habit you had since you were younger, which only manifested when you were extremely anxious. You had no reason to be stressed, right? Jaehyun would explain everything and everything would be fine, wouldn’t it?

You motioned for Yuta to make a right at the stop sign. “Are we leaving the neighborhood?” he asked you.

“No, not really,” you answered, forcing yourself to put your hands at your sides so you wouldn't pick at them anymore. “He just owns more land than his neighbors. He likes his privacy.”

“I completely understand. That’s how I would be if I had all this money. I’d even have my own little pond of ducks,” he joked. “They’d be free to walk the grounds and they’d just add to the beautiful and serene scenery that I would curate for my land.”

You rolled your eyes at Yuta before sitting up straighter in your seat. “Speaking of ducks, drive slowly and don’t run over Quackers and Mr. Bill.” Right as you said that, two ducks waddled in front of Yuta’s car, making their way through the iron gates to their pond on the other side.

“He actually has ducks?!”

“Per my request, yes. Our evening walks at the park during the early part of my pregnancy also consisted of feeding the ducks. I enjoyed it so much I joked about him making a pond and having ducks of his own.”

“And so he dug a hole in his yard and purchased you two feathered creatures?!”

You slouched back into your seat. “Five, actually. The other three should be around here somewhere. They came with the ring, the beautiful nursery, and the wall he tore down for my walk in closet.”

Yuta almost slammed on his breaks in shock. “The wall he--Woah, wait he already built you a nursery?”

Sighing heavily, you turned your head to look forlornly at the swaying motion of Mr. Bill's feathery butt as he walked into the distance. “Yeah…”

“And now you want to barge in this man’s house and accuse him of what exactly?” he asked as he pulled to a smooth stop right outside the Jung estate gate. “You said you’d explain on the way, but you haven’t breathed a single word.”

Well, you were confronting Jaehyun about Mark being arrested for a car that supposedly belonged to Jaehyun and not his cousin Taeil being reported stolen, secret photos following the every move of you and your male friends since earlier that day, and the relationship between those photographs and those of Kun cheating while overseas. There was no way you could explain any of that to Yuta in the short amount of time you had between now and seeing Jaehyun.

“It’s complicated,” was all you told him.

“Tch. Complicated,” Yuta clicked his tongue. “You have a giant envelope of evidence you’ve been trying to hide from view since I picked you up. I’m a lawyer, too, remember?”

“Yuta, please.”

“Let me be a voice of reason before you do something you’ll regret." Yuta rested his chin in his palm as he propped his elbow onto his armrest. "You just became his fiancée only what? A week ago? There’s probably a logical explanation--”

“Thanks for the concern Yuta, but I have to do this if I want to stay engaged.”

Yuta ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, and he drummed his fingers of his other hand on the steering wheel while he thought. “I won’t say anything more. But just promise me you’ll be careful. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t hesitate to do."

Ha! You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped you. You leaned over to kiss Yuta on the cheek and gave him a somewhat reassuring smile. “This just might be the day that I do.”

His brows furrowed. “Should I call the cops?” he responded with evident concern in his voice.

You rolled your eyes and proceeded to fish for Jaehyun’s electronic gate key out of your pants pocket. But then...your attention quickly turned to the large iron gate slowly opening on its own.

“I thought this was supposed to be a surprise mission?” Yuta lifted himself away from the armrest and took his foot off the break, then proceeded to pull through the gate towards the front of the mansion.

“It is. I didn’t call beforehand. He is obviously watching us on the monitor in his kitchen. Fucking creep.”

“Y/N! That’s your fiancé you’re talking about!”

You shook your head. “He has to be guilty of something since he’s not coming outside to greet me.”

“Right...” Yuta pulled into the circular driveway in front of the mansion and put the car in park. There was only one other car in the circular driveway and you recognized it to be the same make and model of Jeno’s car. He must have driven straight there after dropping Mark off at your place. No telling what conversations were being had within those walls. You imagined how lucky Mark had been to have Jeno in the right place at the right time after he was pulled over by the police. Was it a coincidence or was it on purpose?

Theories continued to fill your head as your eyes shifted, and they ultimately landed on Jeno’s license plate. “That’s…” You rummaged through your envelope and pulled out the photo of Kun and examined the sticky note attached to it. Doyoung’s scribbles matched the license plate in front of you. “Oh my--“

“Woah, who’s the hot chick with Kun?” Blurted Yuta as he snatched the photo out of your trembling hands.

“Give it back, Yuta!” You screeched in desperation. You tried to grab it from him but he pulled it out of your reach and batted your hands away.

“Where is he, at a resort?” You tried to grab it once more but he swatted you away again. “Why is Yangyang taking photos of this no name?”

"Yuta!" And he blocked you again.

“Why does this sticky note say ‘you don’t know who else he’s watching?'”

"Please!" And again.

“With a license plate number that matches the car in front--” You finally succeeded in snatching the photo from his grip and put it back inside the envelope, then let out a heavy breath, thankful that Yuta had only seen the picture of Kun and not the one with him and his son at the ER. “Y/N you need to tell me what’s going on,” Yuta demanded. “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I’m starting to get an idea of what’s happening and I really hope I'm wrong.” You started to ask about his assumptions but decided not to, because you were too afraid to get confirmation for your own thoughts. “But if I’m not,” Yuta continued, “do you want me to come in with you? I won’t say anything, but I’ll be there to support you in this apparent kerfuffle you’re about to have with Jaehyun.” And fight him if he had to. Yuta didn’t care how much Jaehyun's face was worth if he ended up hurting you in any way.

You took a deep breath and shook your head. “No. I have to do this alone. But you can help this pregnant lady out of your car.”

“Suit yourself.” Yuta got out and went around to help you out of his car and straighten you onto your feet.

“Please just stay here. If I’m not out in exactly twenty minutes come and get me?”

“You’re asking me?” No, you weren’t. The inflection at the end of your sentence was because you had just realized how unprepared you were to confront Jaehyun. You were still in your pajamas for crying out loud. All the tension had built up on the way there, and all the questions you had for him began to mix with your feelings for him. You weren’t exactly sure how you were going to pull this off without breaking down.

“No. I’m telling you,” you corrected Yuta.

“Understood.”

Yuta helped you walk up the front steps before turning around and walking back to his car. You tugged on the doorknob and, like you figured, it was unlocked. You slowly opened the door and shut it behind you. The chilly air of the beautifully decorated foyer ran down your spine and left behind a trail of prickly ice crystals. It was eerily quiet. You took a left towards the kitchen and ran your hands across the granite countertop. The same countertop where the homemade cookies he made for you sat on the night you had welcomed him back home. You continued walking and stepped into the living room where the two of you made love countless times on his ridiculously expensive furniture.

Deciding not to continue searching on the first floor, you made your way to his staircase. The last time you walked up those stairs was the day of your baby shower--the day he proposed to you and presented you with a fully furnished nursery, a broken wall, and some gotdamn ducks. You were afraid of what would be waiting for you inside that room this time.

“Okay, little bee. Hold on tight.” You patted your stomach before you gripped the railing, ready to start your ascent. But you hadn’t made it two steps up when Jeno suddenly came flying down the stairs.

“Hey, Ms. Y/N!” He seemed to be in a rush and didn’t even stop to properly greet you. “It’s nice seeing you again.”

“Where’s Jaehyun?” you managed to ask the young man before he made himself scarce.

He stopped in his haste and turned around to face you. “My former employer is in the nursery as you probably already guessed,” he informed you frantically.

You were more than taken aback by his choice of words. “Former employer? Wait, Jeno, what happened?”

“I have to go. The moving van will be here bright and early in the morning, so I have to make sure everything is packed and ready to be moved out of the pool house.”

“He fired you? And kicked you out--”

“I have to go, ma’am. I’m sorry it all had to come down to this. I really enjoyed having you as an acquaintance the past few years. And I’m really sorry about Mark. He wasn’t supposed to get mixed into all of this.”

“Mixed into what, Jeno?” You gripped his arm, stopping him from fleeing your presence. “Please, I have to know.”

Jeno looked you in the eyes and clearly saw the desperation he had already picked up in your voice. Guiltily, he averted his gaze downward, but he suddenly stopped breathing when his eyes landed on the envelope you were holding at your side. He didn't know exactly what was inside your envelope, but he had a pretty strong idea. “I have to go. Please send my love to the baby,” he said and pulled his arm out of your grasp, continuing his hasty retreat through the house.

You took a deep breath and continued the ascent towards the second floor with more determination in your steps. Reaching the top of the staircase, you turned and walked toward the nursery. The door was slightly ajar, a sliver of light peeking through. You put your hand on the doorknob before readjusting your posture and reclaiming your confidence. You opened the door only to be greeted by...no one. Confused and thankful nothing jumped out to scare you, you turned every which way until you were dizzy, thinking you had somehow missed the six foot man in the beautifuly decorated nursery.

“Jaehyun?” You called out but there was no reply. You walked further into the room towards the crib. You braced yourself along the railing, the smoothness reminding you that Jaehyun built this himself with his own two hands. Two hands attached to a warm body that also proposed and promised you a lifetime of happiness. You should feel happy in this room like you did a week ago. But now you felt different. Off. “What is wrong with me?”

What were you there for exactly? What were you trying to accuse him of? What you were thinking he did could all have been something your mind made up because you were actually too scared to finally settle down and commit to someone. It was entirely plausible. You did this in all your relationships. You ran away from Taeil, from Doyoung, Taeyong, and Kun. Jaehyun wasn't special. The only thing he did differently was propose to you before you could escape. But you actually truly did want to stay this time. And maybe that was why you were so afraid. You were afraid of finding out something you actually had to run away from.

Tired of being in your thoughts and standing on your increasingly aching feet, you called out for him. “Jaehyun, we need to talk--“

“Let’s talk.”

Startled, you dropped the envelope inside the crib before turning to face your fiancé in the doorway with a rod in his hand adorned with bumblebee patterned curtains. He was wearing a fitted, plain black t-shirt— one of several in his closet, jeans and canvas sneakers. Damn, he looked good. Simple, but so good. And you looked like a mess of a creature before him in your pajamas, house slippers, and wild bed hair.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked after taking in your tousled appearance. “What are you doing here? Did Jeno let you in?” He placed the rod against the wall before walking up to you and grabbing your hands in his. He led you to the rocking chair, ushering you to sit while he crouched down in front of you. “Today has been very weird. First I had to pick you up from the emergency room. Then the release of my new movie was delayed by the studio. Jeno suddenly quit. And now you're here out of nowhere. Not that you being here is strange or anything. I love your company—wait did you drive here? Didn’t the doctor say—“

“Jeno quit?” you interrupted his rambling. “You didn’t fire him?” With the way Jeno ran down the stairs, you were pretty sure he was running away from something--or someone. But Jaehyun’s features gave off a look of concern and slight offense that you would think he’d fire Jeno for any possible reason.

“No, he quit on his own. He said the stress of being my assistant was finally starting to weigh him down. I guess having to deal with your brother getting arrested wasn't exactly something he wanted to experience.”

At the mention of your brother's name, you remembered exactly why you were there in Jaehyun's home in the first place. “Why did you have my brother arrested? And why didn’t you let him call me from the police station? I may be pregnant, but Mark is still my brother. Not yours. I could have handled the situation.”

Jaehyun cupped your face in an attempt to calm the rising anger he could see wanting to boil up inside you. “I was going to go over to your place, actually. Sit down face to face and explain how Mark got involved in this silly feud between my cousin and I. But my agent called to give me ‘bad news’ and then Jeno came shortly after giving me his less than 24-hour notice.”

“I should have been a higher priority, Jaehyun. I’m your fiancée!” You all but screamed in your heightening temper and pushed his hands away from your face. That probably sounded selfish on your end, but considering your reason for showing up to his house unannounced, it needed to be said. You hadn’t planned on blowing your top so quickly, but every thought inside your mind was racing, making it hard for you to stay level.

His hands went down and gripped the armrests of the rocking chair. “I know and I’m sorry. But you’re here now, so please let me explain.” You didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. You just wanted him to admit whatever your brain was accusing him of so you could leave and be heartbroken alone in your bedroom. But of course you said okay, anyway, since you literally had no other choice but to listen to him. “I truly did not know Mark was borrowing cars from Taeil. If I had known that information beforehand, I would never have put him or Taeil in that position. Mark was simply an unexpected factor in this ongoing tit for tat game of family rivalry.”

“Ongoing?” After he proposed to you, Jaehyun had promised you that he would talk to his cousin about everything. So why was this beef over you between the cousins still unsquashed? “Jae, what does that even mean if you were the one who bought him the cars in the first place?”

“It means that my cousin is a leech and I finance him in order to keep him functioning.” Your eyes went wide, but you didn’t say anything so he continued. “Taeil’s weak attempt to separate us with his words spoken at the baby shower did not sit right with me. So since he decided to bite the hand that literally feeds him, I felt petty and decided to report both my vehicles that I allow him to drive as stolen.”

Petty? There was nothing petty about that at all! It was straight up mean! Almost cruel! How could Jaehyun do that to his own cousin--his family? He wasn’t unprovoked, but nothing Taeil did or said deserved for him to get thrown in jail.

“How could you do that to a member of your own family, Jaehyun? If you were to get mad at me, would you do something like that, too?” Your mind had already wanted to make him out to be a bad person if it would help you confront him, but there he was convincing you himself.

“What? Y/N, no! Please don’t make this more than what it is,” he pleaded, squeezing the armrests tighter. “Taeil and I have our issues, and I know I went too far. But I would never hurt you like that.” You didn't want to believe him, but the sincerity in his eyes instantly calmed you against your will. “In hindsight it was not the right thing to do. I admit it. But I truly didn’t know Mark was using the cars and had been for some time apparently. And if Mark needs a car, why didn’t you just tell me? I have plenty he could borrow. They’re all nicer than what Taeil was rolling around in anyway.”

Your eyes narrowed, the brief reassurance you felt from him fleeting at his flippant remark. “Mark and Taeil have had a relationship with one another since way before you came into the picture,” you snapped. “Taeil knew Mark when he was still in diapers. He looks up to Taeil like an older brother. Whenever Mark needs brotherly advice, Taeil is always there to lead or guide him. I was happy their relationship picked back up once Taeil moved back here. He’s done more for my little brother than anyone else has. And to think that you almost put that in jeopardy.”

Seemingly having touched a nerve, Jaehyun's nostrils flared slightly when he sighed. “I apologize, Y/N. I really am sorry. The charges were dropped and Mark has nothing on his record.” Your eyes followed his hands as he let go of the armrests and reconnected them with yours. “I promise I will make it up to Mark. And you. We can move on from this.”

Move on from this? Like it was just that simple? Your brother was handcuffed and thrown into the back of a cop car for no reason. It was something totally preventable if Jaehyun hadn’t been an asshole in the first place. And even if he had known Mark was driving the cars, he would have just put a report out on a day he knew Taeil was driving one of them. It would have been easy for him to figure out. Taeil wasn’t that hard to follow.

To follow…

Your eyes quickly shot back up to meet his, startling him back a bit. The words you spoke next came out in a sizzling string, climbing their way out from being forced into the dark corners of your mind. “I find it really hard to believe that you had no knowledge of Taeil letting Mark borrow the cars when you seem to keep tabs on everyone else connected to me.”

You hadn’t wanted to outright accuse him like that in case you were wrong about everything, but the anger growing inside you had finally taken over. You couldn’t take it back. And now the thread that held together your relationship with your fiancé was being tested.

Jaehyun’s mouth opened and closed in shock as his eyes flickered with confusion and something else you couldn’t quite place. You wanted to say it was fear. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, his tone a cross between offended and worried.

You stood up from the rocking chair, pushing him out of the way to move towards the crib. You retrieved the envelope you dropped inside of it and shoved it into his hands. Standing to his feet, he looked at the envelope like it was an unidentified object never before seen on planet earth. And then his eyes went blank.

He walked over to the other side of the room and simply placed the envelope on the fully stocked bookshelf without any attempt to open it. Aghast, your eyebrows went high into your hairline. “So you’re just not going to open it?”

“Yes,” he said too simply.

Your fists balled at your sides. “And why not?”

“Don’t need to see what I already know is in there.”

You hiccuped. A premature sob getting stuck inside your throat.

“Didn’t think it would show up again after Jeno lost it.”

The room was spinning. You needed to grab onto the railing of the crib for support. Jeno? No, you had received the envelope from Doyoung who had supposedly received it from Winwin. Wait! Was that why Jeno’s eyes grew wide when he looked at it on the staircase? Was this the reason he quit his job so suddenly? Nothing was adding up. “H-how do you know the contents belong to Jeno?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Are there photos of Kun and some random woman in there?”

“Yes,” you answered him shakily.

“Jeno’s photos.”

Eyes glazed over, you stared at your fiancé standing across from you as your train of thought went back to the dark edges of your mind. For a moment you felt weak, and you thought your legs were going to give out beneath you. Jaehyun had thought the same thing, for he was at your side in an instant with a hand on your back, coaxing you to sit back down in the rocking chair.

“No. I’m standing,” you said firmly, your strength returning with full force, reignited by his audacity to touch you right now. You jerked away from him and walked over to the bookshelf. You aggressively grabbed the envelope off it and opened it before him. You held up the photos of Kun and the woman before throwing them down onto the floor. You pulled out the rest of the photos taken earlier today and threw those down as well before balling up the entire envelope in your hands. “Make this make sense, Jaehyun. Make it all make sense!” you yelled at him then threw the wad of paper at his chest, where it bounced off and unceremoniously landed at his feet.

Unflinching, he swallowed thickly as he studied the contents of the envelope on the floor. “The envelope did feel a bit thick. I now see why Jeno quit so suddenly.”

Jeno, Jeno, Jeno! Why did this all keep going back to Jeno? “What are you saying,” you demanded slowly.

“He was sloppy. Or careless. Maybe he did it on purpose.” He toed one of the photos on the floor that had been facing downwards and turned it over with his shoe. “I see he had these taken today. They never crossed my desk, but somehow ended up in your hands. You were never supposed to see them.”

Your throat became tight and you felt tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. Involuntarily, you sat back down onto the rocking chair as your body betrayed you. You were weak. You could no longer stand because he had just admitted it in less than so many words. It wasn’t a complete confession, but it was all you needed to confirm what you desperately didn’t want to believe. You didn’t like the sound of where any of this was going, but you still wanted him to continue, to say he had a perfectly good and logical explanation for why Jeno would have all of those photos taken. But you couldn’t say anything, not immediately. You were rendered speechless by the truth you so hopelessly wanted to deny.

“Jaehyun,” you said barely above a whisper. “I’m going to need a little more than that.” He looked at you, his eyes soft with the unspoken words he saw mirrored inside your own--with the fear of knowing how this was going to end. “If you don't want to start with the ones from today,” you continued, “then start with Kun. Just tell me something.”

He took a breath and ran his hands through his hair. A gesture that forewarned he was about to unload a massive amount of unpleasant information. “Kun didn’t deserve you. He only appeared to be faithful to you," he said when he began. But of course, this was something you already knew--facts already revealed to the both of you outside of Ten's clinic the day of the paternity tests. "The woman in the photo was a fling from his past," he continued. "They started hooking up again towards the tail end of your relationship.”

A fling from Kun's past? You knew Kun had been in other relationships before you, but the two of you made a point never to bring up past relationships while you were together. You didn't want to talk about your exes for obvious reasons, but what reasons did Kun have? From what you knew, Kun refused to be stuck in the past and always looked at what was in front of him--who was in front of him. But then again, what did you actually know about Kun other than what he showed you on the surface?

“And you became privy to this information how?” you asked Jaehyun. Obviously he had known for some time before the paternity testing since he was able to orchestrate having Kun's pictures taken.

“Remember our conference call last year when I asked you to review my contracts for the scripted series?”

“Yes.”

“Well Jeno caught sight of Kun dropping you off in front of your office building that same day he brought over the contracts. A kiss on the lips between the two of you and he figured you were an item.”

A deep frown set into your face and your head tilted to the side in bafflement. In your head, you put together what Jaehyun had said and what you already knew and came up with your own conclusion. “So Jeno told you that I had a boyfriend, you became insanely jealous, and then decided to start following Kun around, waiting for a perfect moment to expose him as unfaithful?”

“Not exactly." He took note of your skepticism denoted by your stance and quirked eyebrow. “I was happy you found someone. I figured the moments we shared before I left was the extent of our friendship and physical relationship. Especially since we hadn’t decided on if we were a 'we'. I truly was glad you found someone to be with," he reiterated his first statement while continuing to look straight into your eyes. "I was a little sad when I found out, but I knew that I should have worked harder to be with you or just have you wait for me. I had come to terms with losing you. I was going to move on. But then Jeno went for his regularly scheduled dental appointment and coincidentally his dentist that day was Dr. Qian.”

“You’re lying,” you said before your brain fully caught up with what was going on. It was too good to be true--too easy. Did he actually think you were going to fall for that? There was no way Kun could have fallen into Jaehyun’s hands so easily.

“I really wish I was. Jeno usually sees the other dentist that works with Kun, but that day his partner was out and Kun was in charge of all the clients.”

You were suspicious of his answer, but you remained silent with confirmation that you wanted him to continue given by your facial expression.

“Jeno, being the diligent assistant that he was, prodded for information regarding your relationship--without me knowing about any of this yet, I might add. But when Kun told him about the hot date with his girlfriend that same night, imagine his surprise when Kun named a woman that wasn’t you.”

Heat radiated through your body once more as you processed his words. “If you knew about him, then why did you keep that from me, Jaehyun? I could have gotten out of that relationship a long time ago!” The volume of your voice raised with every word. You couldn't fathom why he would do that to you. Everything that happened up until now could have been avoided had he just told you when he found out. But instead, purposefully or not, he wronged you by keeping it a secret.

“I had every intention of telling you," he said, holding his arms open in surrender. "I just didn’t know how to do it. If I told you then, you would have accused me of snooping like you are now. Or you would have gotten mad at me and said I was trying to come between your relationship or something, like lying to win you over. And you seemed happy with him, so why would I ruin that for you? I was stuck between multiple options.” He let his hands fall back to his sides in exasperation.

“So instead of telling me, you decided to take matters upon yourself anyway and have the man followed by your henchman, Jeno and Yangyang, all the way to his fake convention tour?” you interrogated him. Jaehyun finally broke the eye contact he held with you by looking down at the floor and rubbed his neck. The guilt etched onto his face was not being masked one bit. Frustrated by his behavior, you reached out to him and yanked him closer to where you sat by his other hand. “Talk, dammit.”

He sighed and forced himself to look at you again, and swallowed thickly before continuing. “It was actually...an all expense paid vacation purchased by me.”

You let go of his hand, stunned into silence as your breath caught in your throat. Your eyes held so much anguish and disgust. Disgust directed at him. It pained him to see it--to acknowledge that he was the one to make you look at him that way. He knew he had royally fucked up everything he was trying to build with you, and the only thing he could do in this situation that he caused was to completely come clean. “I figured that if I sent Kun away, I could come home and tell you everything I found out about him. And when you decided to leave him--”

“You would already be there to put my broken heart back together,” you finished for him. There was no point in sugar coating it, but it sounded so much harsher when you said it out loud. His face flushed with shame. He looked so sorry--so pitifully guilty. You had every impulse to get up and slap him right then, but you didn’t. Instead, you let yourself speak freely. “That was your master plan? To set Kun up so you could swoop in and fix me like I’m some kind of broken object?”

“No, Y/N, I--”

“I can’t believe you of all people would do this, Jaehyun.”

“I didn’t do it alone,” he disclosed in a panicked attempt to deflect some of the blame.

You wanted to slap him again for even trying. “Yeah, Jeno. I’m sure he did a lot following your orders--”

“It was Winwin, too. It was his idea.”

You frowned, confused. You had momentarily forgotten that Winwin was involved with all of this. It was his idea? That would explain the way he acted in court earlier that day. And you did recall Winwin saying that he was the one who sent Kun on the fake trip. Now that you thought about it, what Winwin had said in court sounded a lot like what Jaehyun had just told you. But how? You had only met Winwin when you began dating Kun. Which meant…

“How long have you known Winwin?”

Jaehyun took another deep breath. He seemed to do that everytime he was about to hit you with more unpleasant information. “Winwin was my assistant before Jeno. Before I met you. He quit because he couldn’t handle the job anymore. He ended up becoming a travel agent because that was all he could find. We’re still friends and we met up from time to time. I told him about you one day. About us. That I wanted us to be serious. And when I told him your name, he said he already knew you and that he already knew about Kun. So, I elicited his help and together we sent Kun on that phony trip.”

No thoughts. Head Empty.

He already knew Winwin before you ever met either of them? The two of them were close enough with each other and became close enough to you to come up with this ridiculous plan to blackmail Kun? It was a really dumb way to avenge your honor. And you couldn’t tell if you were mad or happy after hearing all of what they did. You were...conflicted. Very. Conflicted.

“I..this explains a lot and so little at the same time,” you managed to say coming out of your stupor. “I would have never guessed the two of you were once friends. The way you hid it from me...wow. Did you give Winwin acting advice?” you asked him bitterly.

“We never stopped being friends. He was willing to expose what type of man Kun really was so he played along as best as he could. We both thought we were doing the right thing. We just went about it in the wrong way. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” He looked at your hand, wanting so badly to reach out and hold it, but he knew you wouldn’t let him touch you right now. So instead he turned around and faced the wall on the opposite side of the room as he continued trying to exonerate himself. “In hindsight I should have just called you and told you. Whatever your decision would have been I would have supported it and moved on.” He walked toward the wall he was facing and placed his hand against it to support himself through his speech. “I truly thought I was doing the right thing. If I hadn’t screwed up the timing then my blackmail plot would have worked, haha...” He laughed after he said it, but there was no feeling in it whatsoever. “But then again it wouldn’t have mattered. I let Kun extend his vacation for a whole month with plans of getting back to you as quickly as I could so I could tell you all of this. I just needed him away from you for as long as possible so you would forget him by the time I came home.” He turned back around to face you. “But I was two months too late and already sixth in line. I didn’t think I would need to compete with any of the other guys for your heart.”

Sixth in line.

Suddenly, you found yourself gripping the armests of the rocking chair as your ears honed in on his last few sentences. You processed what he just said, repeating it a million times in your head until it finally clicked into place. You were a pretty sharp and smart individual. You earned several academic achievement awards and scholarships in college, graduated at the top of your class in Law school, passed the Bar on your first attempt, and you were highlighted as one of the top entertainment lawyers in your area. So your brain quickly connected the scattered dots after your eyes went down to the floor and you saw the other pictures you had carried inside the envelope.

Your eyes went back up to look at him. “You knew about them before you came back, too.”

“FuCk.”

Jaehyun turned around and walked out into the hallway with you following without warning. He had gotten caught in another lie and couldn’t face you anymore.

Now sitting alone inside the nursery, you felt your anxiety go through the roof. Your hands began to shake and your bottom lip trembled as you held back the urge to scream.

“Come back here...” It came out choked and barely loud enough for him to hear wherever he had gone. “Come back here, Jaehyun!” Your rage took over and you were able to yell for him as loudly as you could.

You got up from the rocking chair and made your way out into the hallway to search for your fleeing fiancé. Luckily, you didn’t have to walk far. He was pacing up and down the hallway between the nursery and the master bedroom. His back was tense at his shoulders and his fists were tightly clenched at his sides. You knew words weren’t going to stop him, so you walked to him and forcibly grabbed his shirt to turn him around and face you. When you did, you saw his eyes up close. They were red with tears begging to be let loose from his ducts. They spoke volumes. Within them you saw fear and shame doing a tantalizing dance together with immense sorrow.

Jaehyun hated it. He hated the way you looked at him like he was some kind of monster. Your eyes read back to him anger, betrayal, and genuine suffering. He couldn’t bear to have you look at him like that any longer and wanted to prove to you that he wasn’t a monster. But when he quietly spoke your name and tried to caress your shoulder, you immediately smacked his hand away.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” A tear ran down his face.

“No, Jaehyun! You do not get to cry!” You pushed him away from you by his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a bit. “How long? How long have you had YangYang following me around and secretly taking photos of me with the others? And don’t bullshit me. I want the whole truth!”

“Since I sent Kun away, okay! I knew you’d try and fill some preexistent void...” he trailed off and rubbed his wet chin, and then wiped his hand on his pants. “So I had you followed. What if you had gotten involved with someone similar to Kun? Or what if you found someone not good enough to be—“

“So the fuck what, Jaehyun! It’s my life and you had no reason to meddle with any part of it. Did you manipulate the other guys, too? Did you find a way to advertise phony trips to them, too?”

“No! I never meddled with anyone else, only Kun. At some point I realized those momentary flings were something you needed. A release. And by the time I had enough of your dick hopping with guys that weren’t me, who didn’t want to be with you long term except for maybe two of them, that’s when I decided to become the last participant in your ongoing sexcapade. I may have been sixth in line to get to your heart, but I was determined to be the first one you chose to share it with completely.”

“Then why didn’t you stop having me followed around?” You were teetering on the edge of an emotional cliff at this point. You felt a small kick inside you, your little bee signaling to you that if you kept this up she’d physically join you sooner rather than later, but you ignored her warning.

“I had every intention to have you not followed anymore. After I returned early from filming, I decided to try really hard to make you see that I was the man you wanted and needed. But then you ghosted me when you decided you wanted to try again with Kun. After all the things I did that you were unaware of, you still chose to be with him. I could have sent you the photos then, but I didn’t want to hurt you like that after you and I had just emotionally and physically reconnected. Plus if I did, we wouldn’t be having the conversation now after all that has happened between us this far.”

“Tch. Of course we wouldn’t be like we are now! Jaehyun, look at us! I wish you would have shown me those photos when you wanted to because I’d be done with both you and Kun. For good. It would have saved me a lot of tears and heartache.”

Delusional, he was genuinely shocked at what he heard about you being done with him. He thought he may have finally gotten through to you with his ridiculous explanations. “You don’t mean that, Y/N. We would have worked through it after you heard where I was coming from and my reasoning behind the decisions I was making--”

“I don’t mean it? You don’t think extortion and manipulation isn’t a reason to cut ties with someone?”

“Yes, but I had to do what needed to done--“

“You didn’t need to have me followed or exploit Kun. My life isn’t a movie where you can just play whatever role you feel like!”

Those words cut him deep, and his countenance flickered with pain. “Y/N, I’m sorry--“

“Stop saying that! Because if you meant it you wouldn’t still be having me followed to this day! You were the last person I thought would hurt me this much!”

You had not cried once up until this point, but the dam had finally been breached. Tears fell fast from your eyes as your heart shattered into a million pieces. You covered your face with your hands as you sobbed uncontrollably. Your baby was shifting inside you, agitated by all of the stress you were putting on her. And the thought of her safety was the only thing keeping you from falling to your knees.

“I never meant to hurt you like this...” He said as his own heart crumbled from watching himself single handedly destroy yours. “But...even after all I’ve done,” he continued, though you couldn’t imagine what more he could possibly have to say. “I’m still better than all the other guys you’re still hung up on.”

“I’m not hung up on anyone! I said yes to being your fiancée, remember?” You aggressively removed your hand adorned with the beautiful ring from your face and held it up to his. “I said yes without hesitation. But knowing what I know now, maybe I shouldn’t have. Even the fourth guy in line wouldn’t have hurt me this badly!”

Jaehyun’s eyes grew wide then narrowed before he quickly rushed a hand through his hair. It had become increasingly unkempt since the beginning of the argument. “Who, Taeyong? He wouldn’t know how to take care of you even if he tried. He can’t even properly manage his own bar.” You didn’t even ask how he knew which exact guy was fourth and let him continue talking. “This is actually his third attempt at a bar. His first two bars closed shortly after opening because of the shady dealings he was doing to keep the place afloat. He’s managed to make it past six months now because he was threatened again with more jail time. Plus you started sleeping with him again, and of course he believed he would have a life with you. So that forced him to start changing his way of living.”

“Well it’s good to know I’ve had such a positive impact on someone trying to turn their life around. At least he was honest with me about the type of person he was before and after he met me. All my other partners seem to have been more honest with me than you ever were.”

“Not the six foot phony who was one-third of your impromptu threesomes,” he said with a scoff before wiping any remaining tears he had with the back of his hand. “He’s engaged, Y/N. Has been for an entire year.”

“What?” you asked incredulously.

“Yeah. The troll is afraid of commitment. But you already knew that considering you had multiple rendezvous with him while I was away. You were so devastated to hear Kun cheated on you after all this time, meanwhile you were the other woman for Johnny.”

“I didn’t know they were engaged! If I knew that I wouldn’t have slept with him again. But she knew about us before that. It’s not my fault he didn’t tell me everything about them.”

“Still didn’t make it right. Especially since you were also cheating on Kun at the same time.”

“I know it’s not right, Jaehyun! Why are you trying to redirect the conversation to make me look like a vile person?!” He didn’t have an immediate response for you, so you decided to keep going in your state of turbulent emotions. If he wanted to be nasty with his accusations, then you were going to be nasty right back. “Does Johnny intimidate you? You think that if you hadn’t come back or if I wasn’t with Kun, then maybe I would have ended up with Johnny instead? He is my type, after all, which is why I slept with him so many times. He’s tall, handsome, well-endowed, and has a dazzling smile just like you. Did you view him as your main competition?”

“Now you’re just saying stuff to try and piss me off,” he said with a set scowl on his face. “I don’t need to compete with someone who voluntarily cheats on his girlfriend. If the two of you had gotten together, he would have done the same thing to you and you would be in the same situation you were with Kun. Look around, Y/N. All those guys are terrible compared to me!”

You crossed your arms over your chest and shifted your weight onto one foot. “Fine. Since you seem to have some dirt on every single guy I slept with. Enlighten me. Tell me all the information you paid Jeno, YangYang, and whoever the fuck else you hired to find. Because I know you didn’t try to find anything out for yourself. Tell me all the secrets Yuta, Taeil, and Doyoung are keeping from me.”

Accepting your challenge, he began divulging facts without hesitation. “This is a secret not even Yuta knows, but he has another kid out there in the world. Maybe more, who knows. Jeno went above and beyond my authority and paid his ex-wife for the details. The kid’s mom had been trying to reach out to Yuta for a while, but the ex always intercepted and kept her quiet.” He saw your face fall, as you were very affected by this tidbit of information. To console you he said, “I’ll admit I created a monster with Jeno, and it wasn’t until Mark got arrested that he regained his good natured consciousness.”

“Why haven’t you disclosed this information to Yuta?”

“I wasn’t even supposed to know about that. Besides, you and the baby are my top priority. Not him.” Jaehyun leaned against the banister of the railing overlooking the first floor of his estate.

“I’m going to tell him,” you asserted.

“Suit yourself. I don’t care anymore,” he said with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders.

“Well, what about Taeil? Did he steal your girlfriend when he was younger? Is that why you’re making sure he doesn’t end up with me either?”

“No.” He said affronted.

“Then why?”

He looked down as he ran his hand back and forth along the polished wood of the banister. “Because I hired the love of his life to be my lawyer, pursued her situationally and then romantically, maybe fathered her first born child, and then I told her I loved her and proposed.”

“That’s not what I asked nor is it new information. Shit, everyone at the baby shower could have figured that out—they probably did figure that out.”

“No, it’s not. But to add insult to injury, he can’t provide for you like I can. Taeil’s broke. He’s a terrible accountant that made some piss poor investments in the past. He has no money. No savings. Nothing tucked under his mattress. He drives my cars because he can’t afford to buy his own. His house? Mine. His gym membership? He’s a guest on my account. Those bad investments? Good investments now since I got my hands on them. The only reason he was able to successfully get you in bed was because he moved back here while I was busy filming my movie; before I could convince him otherwise. He was the one that recommended I hire you as my lawyer. He just didn’t expect that I’d steal your heart, too.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, but some things were starting to make sense. “So…,” you began as you spoke your thought process out loud. “When Taeil went to study abroad where you stayed, he lived with you and confided to you about our failed relationship. And then when you saw the opportunity, you sought me out and continued to pursue me even though you knew about his strong feelings towards me?” Jaehyun looked to you and said nothing, affirming your assumption. “You’re sick.”

“It sounds worse when you say it that way. But my feelings have always been genuine. I originally sought out your professionalism and just so happened to fall in love with you while we worked together. I didn’t fall in love with Taeil’s memory of a long lost girlfriend. I fell in love with a respectable, successful, and mature woman. Different time. Different place. Different feelings.”

You hated that he was right. He didn’t make himself fall in love with you just so he could steal you away behind Taeil’s back. He fell in love with you naturally. But as you have come to find out, he loved you a bit too much and was willing to do whatever it took to make him look like the better man.

Feeling your heart wavering, you squeezed your arms tighter against your chest before you asked him about the last person he supposedly had information on. “And Doyoung?”

“The only thing I have on him...” He hesitated mid-sentence as if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to say what he was going to tell you. “...is that he pawned the ring he purchased for you. He was going to propose to you after graduation, but Taeyong got in the way.”

You audibly hissed as you violently sucked the air between your teeth, causing Jaehyun to flinch slightly. “Jeno didn’t tell you this,” you told him with a clenched jaw. “You’re lying to me again?”

“I’m not lying. And it wasn’t Jeno. Ten told me after the paternity test.”

“Liar,” you huffed out. You could feel your body temperature rising as your breaths became shorter.

He let out a dispiriting chuckle to himself. “Apparently you didn’t know, but he’s Team Jaehyun. Has been for quite some time now. He also got caught up in this ‘who’s the daddy’ drama and couldn’t help but dip his toes in. So he gave me some insight. He joked that the last men standing would be me and Doyoung. Even if the baby is for neither of us, we’d still be the last two actually vying for your heart.”

“Doyoung and I despise each other,” you hiccuped.

“And you despise me, too, now. So I guess Ten was way off with his assumption.”

“Just shut up!”

All of this had to be a lie! There was know way Ten had told Jaehyun that Doyoung was going to propose to you after you graduated law school. If Ten did know about it, all the way up to the detail about Doyoung pawning the ring, why hadn’t he ever told you? And why did he tell Jaehyun? Was Ten working with him, too? And how much of a financial hole was Doyoung in that he needed to sell the ring he was going to use to profess his undying love--

Jaehyun noticed the way your breathing had become irregular, and urgently pushed himself away from the banister when he registered the frantic look on your face as the cogs whirled inside your mind at the thought of Doyoung wanting to propose to you. “Y/N, listen to me. I know this is--“

“Sorry, pretty boy. Your time is up.”

Equally stunned by the interruption, both you and Jaehyun whipped your heads around towards the staircase to see Yuta making his entrance onto the scene. You were so caught up in Jaehyun’s bullshit that you had momentarily forgotten he was still waiting for you outside. The tightness in your chest loosened at the sight of him, and you were thankful he kept his word by coming to your rescue at the right time.

“Y/N, it’s time to go?”

Jaehyun’s narrowed eyes darted quickly between you and the other man standing before him. “How long have you been in here?”

Yuta made his way over to you and gently uncrossed your arms that were still pressed tightly against your chest. “Long enough to know I have another kid somewhere out there. Not the way I wanted to find out, but then again, you can’t always get what you want.” While looking into your glossy eyes, he cuffed his hand around one of yours and let you squeeze it as hard as you needed to in order to keep hold of your sanity. He could feel the fast pace of your heightened pulse through your palm. “My ex-wife is pretty trash, huh?” He asked, then turned his head to face Jaehyun to now look directly into his eyes. “Don’t make the same mistake I did and marry the wrong person, Y/N.”

Beneath that cold, blank expression, you knew Jaehyun was fuming. You, his fiancée, had come unannounced to confront him, and now stood in his home holding hands with another man who also held claim to a piece of your heart. You stared at him as he seethed in silence, letting every letter of Yuta’s words sink into his prefrontal cortex.

“Don’t call me, text, email, or anything,” you commanded Jaehyun after you were able to find your breath. “I need time away from you to think. I need time for myself, my health, and my baby. Our possible baby.” You pointed between all three of you within the space. “Just let me think. No matter how long it takes.” You paused briefly to shift a bit of your weight onto Yuta, as you were now too tired to stand on your own. “If you want any little bit of hope that I’ll stay with you after all this, you’ll do these things for me.”

With your other hand you reached out to Yuta’s, and he proceeded to help you walk down the stairs and out of the mansion.

There wasn’t anything he could say. The only thing Yuta could do was listen to the sniffling of your nose and breathy sighs as you cried softly beside him while he drove you home. You had a great deal of things on your mind and you would talk when you were ready. He himself had a lot on his mind. His ex-wife had been blocking him from seeing his other child. The only reason he could think of for her to do something like that was so she could secure their son’s inheritance, to ensure that he got all of it without having to split it with another sibling. He didn’t put it past her. She already tried to wring his bank account dry during the divorce. This made him wonder what his ex had in mind to do if he was the father of your baby, too. He needed to do something about that conniving woman and get his son away from her before she did something else he wouldn’t be able to forgive.

You sighed heavily, snapping Yuta out of his thoughts. From the corner of his eye he saw you wipe your nose with one of the tissues from the packet he got for you out of his glove compartment. Seeing you like this was so upsetting to him. He was used to seeing you as a strong, independent woman who didn’t have any problem taking care of herself. To see someone like you so broken up because of another person made him so mad. He should have punched Jaehyun like he originally wanted to.

“I’ll stay with you until your brother gets back,” Yuta said, breaking the stagnant air around you.

You shook your head. “No, your family needs you.”

“Are you sure?”

You weren’t. You weren’t sure if you actually wanted to be alone until Mark came back. You weren’t sure you could be alone. But you were sure that you didn't want to drag your brother or Yuta any further down this deep pit of despair you dug for yourself. You didn’t want to go home anymore. You didn’t want to be there alone with your thoughts and you didn’t want to be there with Yuta who had his own issues that needed to be sorted out right away. But where could you go? The man you thought you could trust your heart to just ripped it out of your chest and stomped on it. There was nowhere else for you to go but home to cry on your brother, but you refused to keep stressing him out. So you would have to go to a place where you could cry on someone else who actually had a role in your messed up storyline. Two of which would more than likely turn you away, and one of them would definitely welcome you with open arms against their better judgement. And the other would…

“I want you to take me somewhere else instead,” you answered Yuta’s question.

“What? Where?”

“I just don’t want to go home. Please, Yuta?”

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. “I’m going to have to charge you cab fare.”

Because of Yuta’s joke, a small smile was able to make its way onto your tear stained face. “Thank you. Take the exit after the next one and then make a left at the light.”

Yuta followed your instructions as you directed him to your destination. He had an idea on where you were going and his assumption grew stronger when he began to drive through a residential area. You pointed to the house you wanted him to drop you off in front of and he pulled up to the curb to park his car.

“That’ll be $36.00, please,” he said, reaching out his hand towards you. You ignored his antics and began taking off your seatbelt. “Whose house is this anyway?”

“You’ll see.”

“Oh no. I’m not letting you out until you tell me.” To reinforce his point, he pressed the button to re-lock his car doors that had automatically unlocked when he put his car into park.

“I’ll be fine. What more can be done to me after what I just went through?” You unlocked the door manually and then struggled your way out of the car by yourself. By the time Yuta had taken off his own seatbelt to stop you, you were already halfway to the front door of the house, so he gave up and let himself watch you go up the rest of the way and ring the doorbell. After opening the door, the owner of the house’s hands went immediately to your puffy cheeks as the sight of your distressing appearance suddenly caused him to become overcome with urgency.

Yuta craned his neck as he tried to see who it was you chose to use as a supportive pillar. When he got a good look at them he made a hum of enlightenment before sitting back properly in his seat. “I was expecting to see her mother, not the rabbit.”

You were immediately ushered into the house and made to sit on the living room sofa. Doyoung left you briefly to make herbal tea after you accepted his offer for a cup. Once done, he set the cup and saucer into your hands, and then he sat down beside you on the couch with his elbows resting on his legs. “What happened to you?” he asked you after waiting for you to take your first sip of the tea. After your visit with him to the ER earlier that day, he assumed you had gone home to rest like the doctor prescribed.

“I found out who really had the pictures taken.” Doyoung didn’t say anything, allowing you to continue when you were ready. He watched as you took another sip of your tea, noticing the way your hand slightly trembled when you placed it back down onto the saucer. “It was Jaehyun.”

As if he had already known the answer, Doyoung closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. “I figured as much.”

“How long have you known?” Leave it to Doyoung to be so perceptive. He should quit being a lawyer and become a detective.

“I found the pictures the day you had us all tested. I put the pieces together a little bit before your baby shower.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Doyoung looked down shamefully at his hands. “You ask that like you were actually willing to talk to me.”

“It didn’t stop you from giving me the envelope.”

He moved one of his hands to push back his hair from his face. “I’m sorry about that. My mind was grappling with so many emotions that day. I wanted to talk to you about everything in person, but he kept getting in my way.” From the way he spit out the word, you knew he was talking about Jaehyun without having to say his name.

“I’m glad you did it when you did,” you told him as you gazed dismally into the orange liquid inside your cup. “I was able to use what you gave me to confront him and he revealed his true self.”

Doyoung’s eyes moved from your face to your hand that held the saucer. You were still wearing the engagement ring from Jaehyun. He didn’t want to make any assumptions about where your relationship with him stood. “Are you still…” he asked tentatively.

You followed his gaze and inferred what he was asking you. “I don’t know,” you said after taking a deep breath. “I just...he told me a lot of things. I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust him again.”

“I see,” was all he could say to you in that moment.

There was another small period of silence between you so you could drink more of your tea, but in actuality you were mustering up the nerve to ask him this next question: “Is it true that you were going to propose to me?”

Doyoung’s entire body went stiff beside you. And you swore you saw his eyebrows hit the sky. “Who told you that lie?”

You turned your body slightly to face him more and looked into his eyes for the first time since entering his home. “Everybody has been lying to me lately and I just want to have an honest conversation with someone. So is it true?”

“Did Jaehyun tell you that to mess with your head? It’s obviously false,” he said, becoming defensively indignant.

“Ten told him.”

Doyoung didn’t respond right away, and so you knew it was the truth.

“How much money did you lose on the ring?”

“Why does that matter? You still left me anyway, so I would have had to sell it regardless.”

And here you thought the two of you would finally be able to put aside your differences.

“For fucks sake,” you gritted and practically threw the tea cup and saucer onto his coffee table. “I’m sorry I left you, okay! Is that what you want me to say? Stop reminding me of one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made! So can we please have a conversation like two human beings?”

Something you had just said lit a flame inside him and he could no longer hold back all the conflicting feelings he kept inside him. “Fine! If you want me to be honest, yes! I was going to propose to you. You were my everything just like you were to all these other guys that worship the ground you walk on for some reason. And I just don’t know why it has to be like this!” He took a second to take a shaky breath as tears began to prickle behind his eyes. “Because you were with me! You were supposed to be with me forever! But then you just left me to be with Taeyong, and I made myself hate you all this time even though I was the one who told you to go!” He hastily wiped his eyes with his sleeve before any of his tears could fall. “Fuck!”

You stared at him wide eyed in disbelief at the fact that he was finally being honest about himself. But then you shook your head when something other than his current state came to your attention. “Was it really Taeyong or were you too afraid that I might have rejected your proposal to be with someone else?”

Doyoung sniffed and wiped his eyes once more. “Don’t psychoanalyze me right now.”

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He responded by rolling his eyes at you, making you scoff. “You know, you're the whole reason I have commitment issues. You’re the literal reason I ran into Taeyong’s arms. But he turned out to be crazy, so I left him. Then the next thing I knew I was working with two guys who only wanted me for my body rather than have a functioning relationship. I said I was fine with that, but I really wasn’t. So I found a seemingly good natured man to settle down with, but I was still unhappy with him because I wanted to try the no sex thing like an idiot. If you hadn’t run me away in the first place, we’d be married by now with our joint practice like we used to talk about, and I wouldn’t have come out of some crazy sex bender not knowing who the father of my daughter is!”

“I know, I know! And I’m so sorry!”

“Are you?!”

“Yes! And I wish I could take it all back!” He cradled his face in his hands as he fought back a sob. “I never stopped loving you, Y/N.”

“You made sure I believed otherwise.”

He slid his hands down and off his face. “Because I’m stupid.”

You shook your head at him again. “No, I’m stupid. I still don’t know who my baby’s father is because I’m too scared to look at the results.”

Doyoung’s eyes widened slightly. “You have the results and never told any of us you got them?”

“I know I’m terrible for keeping everyone in limbo. I wasn’t ready before. But now...I think I am. I have to be.” Doyoung watched quietly as you lifted up your left hand and twisted off the engagement ring on your finger. “Knowing who he is determines how I’m going to move forward with my life,” you continued and placed the ring onto the coffee table next to the small puddle of tea you spilled. “And I need to be able to face head on whatever fate the universe has chosen for me and my child.”

Dun dun duuuunnnnn!

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

141 notes · View notes

divagonzo · 3 years

Text

The Incident - Romione +

Ao3

A/N: Thanks to @vivithefolle for getting through my enormous writer’s block to inspire me to write this story. It’s angst filled Hurt/Comfort/Family with many triggering aspects for those who are ND. I apologize for it but the story wouldn’t leave me alone.

Given the nature of the subject matter, I’m personally rating this M rated - and because of the troubling aspects of the story, especially for those who would be triggered by what the story entails.

CW: child bullying, child injury, being bullied for being neurodivergent

Give me my demarcation line, damn it!

The Incident

Once more, with Feeling

Hermione took her reading glasses off of her nose and rubbed her eyes. She was absolutely at her wit’s end with the bloody bureaucracy of the Wizengamot and why they refuse to do things her way when it’s the best for everyone involved. But No, that sod Purifoy has to put in his Galleon and derail everything and cause a ruckus in the chambers.

“Mrs. Granger?” Hermione’s executive assistant Miranda Blunt stuck her head in the office. “Mrs. Potter is calling, says it’s an emergency.”

“Put her through,” Hermione got up from her vast oaken desk and went to the fireplace. The flames in there turned green from the warming orange from the chilly August morning.

“Hermione,” Ginny’s voice came through crystal clear. “We need you at St. Mungo’s immediately.”

Her heart lurched to a sudden stop. “What’s happened? Ron?” Hermione rose from the fireplace and went to collect her purse from the secure drawer in her desk. “If it involves Harry he’s going to catch an earful.” She pulled the compact mirror from her pocket and opened it, waiting the seconds for her assistant to open hers. “I’m going to St. Mungo’s. I’ll check back in as soon as I can.”

“Understood.” Miranda broke the connection.

“What’s happened?” Hermione reached for the urn on the mantle.

“It’s Hugo,” Ginny didn’t elaborate. “We need you immediately.”

Hermione froze. Her baby. Well, not a real baby anymore, not after the growth spurt he had this summer and seemed to stretch out by inches, taking after Ron, but still such a sweet boy. She enjoyed snuggling him when he would allow it, but he couldn’t fall asleep unless Ron was holding him in his arms, holding onto him awkwardly until his soft snores told everyone that he could be gently placed in his own bed.

She shook herself from her stupor and reached into the urn for the Floo powder and threw it in, stepping through the few blocks to the Auror waiting area. She saw Ginny sitting there with Rose, James, Al, and Lily Luna. Harry was nowhere to be found. Rose had her hand wrapped up, like she’d broken it and James was sitting on the other side of the room, two black eyes and a blood crusted nose that looked like it hadn’t been treated yet.

“Where –

“The nurse will see you back,” Ginny said stoically.

Hermione ran from the room to the admission desk and saw the Nurse. Hermione knew her well enough by face and first name but wasn’t much beyond that. “I was told my son was admitted. Hugo Weasley-Granger.”

“Yes, you’re needed.” The nurse left the window and met Hermione at the doors, walking briskly into the various hallways that hadn’t changed much in the last 20 years. “Mrs. Potter brought your son in about twenty minutes ago and we said we needed you immediately. He’s been hurt but there’s something else going on, something we don’t quite understand, and you might be able to shed some light on the situation.”

Hermione went into the area and saw her son sitting in the corner of the room, rocking back and forth with his arms wrapped around his knees. There was some crusted blood on his neck, below his ear, and a huge bruise on the side of his face.

“He won’t let us near him, Mrs. Weasley,” a medi-witch spoke up first. “Any time any of us even gets within a meter of him, he screams.”

“I am going to sit on the ground. Every time I finish a sentence, move me six inches closer. His therapist has things in place to help him when he gets like this.” Hermione dropped her purse and put her wand down. She knew about these behaviors and she’d read up on how to help him cope as well.

“Hugo, Mummy is here.” Her voice was so flat to her own ears it frightened her – but she knew from Audrey that it would be soothing for her son. “You’re safe. No one else is going to hurt you,” She felt magic surround her, ever so slowly shifting her forward towards her son. “Aunt Ginny told me you needed me. I came straight away.”

She repeated the mantra until she was sitting right in front of her son. While he looked somewhat like Ron, being gangly and with auburn hair with ginger strands and streaks through it, it had her texture, along with freckles across his nose and on his neck. But he took after her in personality, temperament, and how he saw the world, but only more intensely. She understood him, when he would be quiet for hours at a time, or completely engrossed in something that interested him.

She suspected he was much like her by the time he was a year old, with some behaviors she had been watching to see if they manifested. As soon as they started, she took him to a Muggle doctor who recommended her to a specialist who made a tentative diagnosis. He had a cadre of therapists to help him with his speech and role playing so he wouldn’t have a meltdown for any change in his daily schedule.

She knew. She didn’t need it to be tentative, from how much he’d get overwhelmed at Sunday lunches at the Burrow to not liking being hugged or easily frustrated to even the texture of his clothing, which she understood far too well. Yes, he was much like her so seeing him like this was painful. But while her parents struggled for so long, she fought like hell so he wouldn’t struggle as much as she did growing up.

“Hugo, I am right here. I’m not going anywhere. No one is going to hurt you. When you are ready, you can crawl into my lap. Take the time you need.”

Ever so slowly, in what felt like hours was probably seconds, Hugo slowly ceased rocking before crawling into her lap, right before he started rocking hard yet again.

He settled in and she took a deep breath, knowing that the first giant hurdle had been passed.

“Love, the medi-witch is going to use magic to put us up on the bed. Close your eyes and bury your face in my chest. They won’t be using magic on you, only me.” He did as instructed, burying his head into the flannel of her jumper. She looked at the Medi-witch. She watched the non-verbal incantation wand movement and braced slightly. Magic enveloped her again, levitating her from the very cold tile floor up onto the gurney.

“Sweetie, will you hold my hand? I don’t want you to talk but I do need you to communicate with me and I know this way is much easier for you right now.” She opened her hand and waited for him to put his in hers, squeezing it hard.

“That’s terrific, love. Now you don’t have to talk at all the rest of the time we’re here, only answer my questions by squeezing my hand.” Hermione stared over his head at the Medi-witch and watched her procure parchment and self-dictating quill. She nodded once for Hermione to start.

“Did Rosie hurt you?” One squeeze. “Rosie didn’t hurt you. That’s good. I’m happy to hear that.”

“Did Lils hurt you?” One squeeze. “Al?” One squeeze. “So Jamie hurt you?” Two squeezes.

“Could you tell Aunt Ginny what happened?” One squeeze. “You hurt too much, doesn’t it?” Two squeezes. “I thought so. Are you still hurting?” Two squeezes. “And you don’t want to tattle on Jamie?” One squeeze.

“Was Jamie playing Quidditch?” Two squeezes. “Was he chasing a snitch?” One squeeze. “Throwing a Quaffle?” Two squeezes. “The bludger?” two squeezes.

“Were you on your toy broom outside, playing?” Two squeezes. “Was Aunt Ginny watching you?” One squeeze. “Jamie convinced you to go play outside with him and Rose?” Two squeezes. “And then you got hurt and saw Aunt Ginny?” Two squeezes.

“Jamie convinced you to come outside and ride your broom without an adult.” She sighed. “Jamie means well sometimes but he doesn’t quite fathom why the rules are in place for Hugo.” She turned back to her son. “I’m not mad at you, sweetie. You love your older cousin and want to be able to play with him and Rosie and you hate being left out.” Two squeezes. “Yes, I figured as such.”

Hermione looked at the other medi-witch. “Have you asked Mrs. Potter what happened?”

“She said that she found two bludgers flying around their pitch and Hugo on the ground crying.”

“Did Jamie hit the bludgers at you?” Hugo started rocking. “More than once?” The rocking grew frantic and she felt her shirt getting damp.

The door crashed open, and Ron stood in the doorway, seeing his wife and child on the gurney. Hermione slightly shook her head before seeing his ears turning red. Right now she couldn’t cope with Ron and Hugo so Ron would have to deal with it, for now at least.

He closed the door softly while Hermione rocked Hugo in her lap, letting her son have his silent meltdown without him noticing everyone in the room watching him. People watching him meltdown always made it worse.

The Healer pulled his wand and handed it to the medi-witch, showing Hermione without his wand that he wanted to charm Hugo to sleep so they could tend him. She nodded and watched the healer gently apply the charm to her son and felt him drift off to sleep, like he’d fallen asleep in her arms which he hadn’t done since he was a toddler. He always preferred his Daddy once he could make his wishes known. She wouldn’t complain, even if her heart had been beating out of her chest entirely too hard for her continued good health.

She stood and gently placed her son on the gurney, feeling a sob try to erupt. She stifled it, knowing she’d pay for it later on but Hugo came first.

“Now that he’s asleep, we can check him. We did not want to do that without a parent’s presence and their permission. But his behavior was so queer that – “

Hermione turned and if she’d had her wand in her hand, she couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t have hexed the healer tending her son. “His behaviour is not queer,” Hermione growled. “My son is Autistic. He’s been diagnosed by Muggle doctors and has Healer Reeves as his Magical counselor. He takes after me that way and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t refer to my son that way.”

“Yes, Mrs. Weasley,” he retorted instantly. “He got upset and we didn’t know how to help him once Mrs. Potter had left the room.”

“Now you know,” she snorted, “and now you can tell me what happened.”

Hermione stepped back to the side of the room and watched the Healers and multiple medi-witches work on her son, using magical diagnostic charms and spells to work. They worked efficiently, silently, with a medi-witch dictating the medical records.

Seconds passed that felt like days, with the Healers finally turning back to Hermione, seeing her. “He will be OK. From what Mrs. Potter told us, along with our tests, he has a concussion from getting hit with a bludger. There is also a huge bruise on his back from what looks like another bludger impact. I’d almost say that someone was hitting them at your son, but I don’t like to make assumptions. Bruise paste will fix the back but for the head, he will need time at home, with little in the way of lights and noise. It’s not severe, not like Quidditch players get from time to time, but he will require some time to rest and recover.”

“There’s nothing you can do for him?”

“These things are tricky when it comes to the brain. Even Muggle Medicine has limitations when it comes to this kind of brain injury. But at his age, he needs rest and quiet and darkness to remove stimulation for him. It would probably benefit him in the long run, too, given what you’ve said.”

She sighed, trying to take a deep breath that just wouldn’t happen. Her precious son, her sensitive child, was bullied by an older cousin. That was bad enough. That would be dealt with as soon as Hugo was home and asleep in his bed. But to add a possible traumatic brain injury to it, at his age, was a bit too far. Fortunately, she had ample time accrued to take off and spend it with him, or work from home given everything going on. However, seeing to what happened took priority after tending Hugo.

“When can we take him home, since my husband is probably out in the waiting room?”

“We shall be finished shortly, maybe a few more minutes, and then take him home straightaway. No Floo travel for at least a month. No Portkeys either since it might aggravate any sort of injury. Apparition or Muggle transport only, and then keep it as minimal as possible, for his benefit.”

Hermione understood that all too well. She tended Harry and Ron occasionally after mishaps with the Aurors. “Please keep him asleep until I return. I need to go speak with my husband.” She collected her purse from near the door and slipped out, knowing that Ron would be mad with grief. Instead, she found him pacing the hallway around the first corner.

“How is he?” He raced up to her when he saw her, embracing her like she desperately needed. She didn’t realize how much tension let go with his hug. “I didn’t want to come back in and upset Hugh. I knew you’d have it under control.”

Hermione explained what happened as well as what caused it. Ron’s face grew even more pale than normal but his ears and neck grew intensely red.

“I’m upset too but we will handle it later, once we get Hugo home and in bed resting. And it’s not like Ginny probably hasn’t tended to things by now.” She slumped back into her husband’s arms. Who knew that her heart would have two distinct beats from her own, and stress hers when anything happened to either of her kids. She hadn’t realized until now how much her children’s welfare meant to her, especially when it came to the treatment by the family. “We need the healers to check on Rosie. She had a wrap around her wrist when I rushed through the waiting room.”

“You go get Hugo and take him home. I’ll tend to Rosie and we’ll be home straightaway. I also will need to speak with her and find out what happened.”

Hermione took a deep breath, relaxing her back and shoulders. “I’ll see you when you get home, Love.” She stood on her tiptoes and brushed a kiss across his lips. The privacy of the hallway would suffice, given the overwhelming adoration she had for her husband. He was her rock, her foundation, rarely getting inside his head too much now, but also giving her subtle direction and taking the mental load on what needed to be done without being boorish like she could be. He never demanded, and never expressed disappointment when she made a different decision but, most of the time, his wisdom was exactly what she needed when she felt lost and drowning in indecision.

She turned and went back to the room to collect her son and take him home.

*****************

“Hermione, we’re home,” Ron bellowed into their residence outside of Cardiff. “And Ginny will be over as soon as the Healers tend Jamie.”

Hermione came out of Hugo’s room, closing the door without shutting it completely. “I have it dark and quiet in his room, and the potion the healers gave him should let him sleep for hours. They said he needed to sleep and rest as much as possible for the next two weeks, minimum. I’ve already spoken to Miranda and set the owls to come here and she will pop over after work to bring today’s docket and tomorrow’s as well.”

“Mum, I’m sorry,” Rosie chimed in. “I saw what happened and instead of running to get Aunt Ginny I got upset and hit Jamie. I know it was wrong but – “

“What happened?” Hermione tried to keep her voice neutral for her older child, who was just like her Dad with her underlying temper. She wasn’t mad at Rosie and she needed to keep her temper in check with her child, who might mistake that Mum was mad at her, and not frustrated with the situation.

Rose looked at her Dad and he nodded before she turned back to her Mum.

“Everyone went outside to play, with Aunt Ginny watching us. Al and Lils were inside coloring and Hugo came out to fly around. Lils yelled and Aunt Ginny went back inside.” Rose looked at Ron and he nodded, prodding her gently to continue.

“Jamie and I kept playing Quidditch out back, throwing the quaffle while dodging the bludgers flying around while Aunt Ginny was inside making Lunch. It was so much fun, and we were laughing when either of us missed the Quaffle or got bumped by the bludger. I thought Hugo had gone inside with Aunt Ginny since I didn’t see him. Jamie flew down and plucked up a beater’s bat out of the box and said he’d take a swipe at them while flying and I said OK since it’s good practice for me, too.”

“You know how I feel about that,” Hermione said, “especially with Aunt Ginny not keeping a close watch on you while you’re doing it.”

“I know,” Rose replied. “I thought she’d be inside only for a few moments.”

“Ok, go ahead.”

“So the bludgers were flying around and Jamie had his beater’s bat out while also throwing the Quaffle at me from time to time. Anyway, I told Jamie to wait a moment because I wanted something to drink. I heard him laughing and then I heard a thump and saw Hugo on the ground and his broom broken. I didn’t know Hugo had come back outside to fly some more. I looked up and saw one racing for Hugo. I ran towards him but couldn’t stop it from hitting him in the head before bouncing off. I ran back for my broom and raced up to where Jamie was. He looked boggled that another bludger had hit Hugo. I… I flew into him while on my broom before taking his beater’s bat and hitting him with it.

“Aunt Ginny came outside and saw Hugo on the ground. She dropped the tray of sandwiches and pumpkin juice and ran to him, yelling at us to get down on the ground, that we needed to go to St. Mungo’s.” Rose held her head down. “I know I should have gotten her first, but I was so upset that Jamie did that, and laughing about it.”

“I don’t fault you for being upset but you know better. No quidditch this weekend for you. A small consequence for how you acted instead of going to get Aunt Ginny should be sufficient punishment. Besides, your wrist will be sore for a day or two anyway, I reckon, hitting Jamie with the beater’s bat.”

“Yes, Mum.”

Hermione looked up at her quiet husband. “What are we going to do about Jamie? This isn’t the first time he’s been a toerag towards Hugo.”

The fireplace roared to life and Ginny was inside the flames. “The Healers are finished with Jamie. Can we come through? He needs to know what his punishment is for what he did today.”

Ron and Hermione shared a look, not bothering to look at Rosie. “Come on through,” they said in unison.

The fireplace roared high inside the hearth and Albus stepped through first, followed by a tidier Jamie, followed by Ginny holding Lily Luna to her chest. His face was still bruised but his nose was fixed and the blood removed from his shirt. Within moments they were all free of dust and so was the den. “We won’t be staying long. Jamie has a very long list of things he has to do as punishment for what happened today.”

“It wasn’t intentional. I was aiming for Rose. I -“

“Enough, James!,” Ginny’s voice was quiet, dangerous, and one that no one wanted to cross.

“Did you tell Hugo he could come outside with you?” Ron asked first.

“Well, yeah, at first. Mum had been outside and it was nice and then mum went inside for a minute and Hugo was having fun on his toy broom while Rosie and I were playing Quidditch.”

“He’s six years old, James.” Hermione’s voice brooked no insolence. “He isn’t to ride his broom without supervision, ever. Did you not understand that?”

“No,” his voice grew quiet. “Mum said it was OK. I didn’t think – “

“No, you didn’t. You didn’t see Al or Lils on their brooms, did you?”

“No,” he said again. “But he had been riding earlier so I thought it was ok.”

Ron stood before James, towering over the lad. He was in his Auror stance, looking like he was ready to fight with his bare hands. “Why did you hit the bludgers at Rosie? I gave your parents that set, as a gift when you turned two.” Ron huffed. “I know that set. Grandpa, Uncle George, and I charmed it so the bludgers wouldn’t be brutal unless you hit the bludger with a bat. The first time you hit that bludger with a bat, it disabled the charm.”

“We’ve done it before. No one got hurt - “

“It’s no excuse, James,” Ginny said. “You know the rules - no beater bats unless an adult is outside with you. It’s one reason why you’re being punished - for being reckless while playing.”

“Didn’t you bother to see that Hugo was in the way?” Ron’s Auror voice had come out. “Do you think it’s funny picking on him? We know this isn’t the first time he’s not tattled on you. He’s six years old. He’s a child compared to you.”

“I wasn’t aiming at him. It was an accident - “

Ron took a step forward. James backed up into his Mum, standing almost as tall as her at 11. “An accident is you falling off your broom. An accident is dropping a glass of pumpkin juice because you weren’t paying attention. No, you chose to swing the beater’s bat and hit it at Rosie, even if you didn’t intend it to hit Hugo, it did, and it hurt him terribly.”

“I didn’t mean to! He was having fun with us, playing Quidditch.”

“Bollocks, James.” Ron’s temper seemed to be erupting. “He’s never expressed a moment’s interest in Quidditch, unlike Rosie. Didn’t you realize that?”

“No,” his voice was whiney. “We thought he - ”

“There’s no we to it, James,” Hermione cut in. “She says she told you she was landing to get a drink of juice and heard you laughing and saw the bludger hit Hugo in the head.”

“Bullying kids is never funny, James. Ever. It’s unacceptable behavior from anyone, much less you. I’d have thought better of you when it came to being kind to your cousins.”

“He doesn’t know,” Ginny said under her breath. “We’ve not told them.”

Ron crossed his arms but stood there looking ferocious. He spied Rose at the edge of the hallway, listening intently. Al and Lils were there with her.

“I’m sorry,” a small tear leaked out. He refused to look at any of the adults but stared at their shoes.

“I don’t think so, James,” Ron interrupted. “I don’t think you’re sorry for hurting Hugo. I know you’ve done it before and you were let off with a warning. But not this time. No, this behavior is unacceptable in this family, but especially from you. You’re eleven and starting Hogwarts in a month. You’ve gotten your letter and are expected to have some level of maturity, even for your age. Mistreating small kids is behavior that other toerags do,” Ron snorted before hearing Malfoy under Hermione’s breath.

“He’s already grounded for the next month, Ron,” Ginny added. “But beyond that is up to you and Hermione.

“What do you think, Hermione?”

She turned back to her Godson. “James, look at me.” He looked up but refused to make eye contact. “I said look at me, James Sirius Potter.” He finally did and Hermione saw the fear on his face. “You hurt Hugo. He’s in his bed asleep and can’t come to play at all for the next two weeks because of your mindless behavior. He might need longer to recover from your thoughtless actions. You picked on him for whatever reason, after we as a family have told everyone that he’s to be treated a certain way. And yet you, for some reason that isn’t important now, decided to be careless around him. We already know he’s not told on you for previous things because he adores you, or did, and didn’t want you to get into trouble.

“But you are in deep trouble now.”

He shuddered slightly.

“But I also think that you aren’t sorry for what you did, only that it was worse than you expected and got in trouble for it. No, you chose to hit those bludgers in his direction intentionally. Whether you were aiming for Rosie or Hugo doesn’t matter. Your impulsiveness hurt someone. I’d be furious if you had hurt Rosie, too.”

‘I’m – “

“Don’t say you’re sorry until you actually mean it,” Ginny spat. “You’re only sorry for the consequences impacting you.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Go home and get me your broom. Now.”

“Mum?” James looked at her. “My broom? What are you going to do?”

“You’re already in trouble. Questioning my judgment will make it ten times worse. Go get your broom, now, James.”

He ran for the fireplace and tossed floo powder into it, disappearing in the green flames.

“What do you have in mind?” Ron asked.

Ginny stood there pondering a moment. “Until he shows some real maturity, I think losing any and all flying privileges on his broom will suffice. He will hand over his broom to you and so he can’t nick it like I used to do when no one was looking. I also think that it might be smart that he is not able to try out for the house team for a couple of years.:

Ron took a deep breath, like he’d been holding it in. “If he thinks he can get away with tosser behaviour this should break it for good. Merlin knows how relentless Fred and George were to me.”

Ginny’s eyes narrowed. “Let’s make it two years.” She turned to look at the window next to the fireplace. A small sigh escaped. “I’ll owl Minerva this weekend and let her know. Not being allowed to try out until he’s a little older would be a benefit. First years aren’t allowed to try out anyway so two years will make him the start of his third year so he should be mature enough. If not we can have it extended.”

“Ok.” Ron slumped slightly. “Hermione can decide on when he’s allowed to use his broom again. I won’t interfere.”

“Neither will I,” Ginny added.

James ran back through the fire to where he handed it to his Mum. Ginny turned and handed it to Hermione.

“James, for hurting Hugo – “

“I didn’t – “

“Yes, you did. I’ve seen it before. I watched you with Fred laughing when Hugo was being picked on.”

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered.

“No, if you were you’d have not done it.” Hermione’s fierce stare made him bow his head. “We’ve discussed what is acceptable and what isn’t.”

“You don’t pick kids younger than you. I know we’ve taught you better.” Ron’s disappointment was evident.

Ginny stood there, resolute. “You’re grounded from flying for the rest of the summer. You’re also losing your broom until Aunt Hermione says you can have it back.”

He spun, facing his Mum. “No! That’s not fair!” He turned back around and saw his Uncle staring him down.

“Fair is following the rules set down – and that was that Hugo is to be protected, not picked on.” Ron gave a piercing look, freezing James’ protests. “Aunt Hermione and I will keep your broom, until you prove to us that you can follow the simplest of rules, of which is You don’t pick on Hugo – ever. You hurt him, James, and that’s not something that a mere I’m sorry will fix. So, until you prove it to us, you’re grounded from your boom. I know Rosie won’t share hers, not with what she’s heard.”

“No! Not my broom. It’s mine!”

“No, now it’s ours, until we decide to return it to you.”

“I am writing to Headmistress McGonagall, to tell her you will not be allowed to try out for the house teams for an additional year, since first years aren’t allowed to try out.”

“Two years!”

“You hit him twice, this time. The consequences for hurting Hugo and laughing about it should be severe.”

“We think that you need time to learn empathy, to treat those who you don’t respect with kindness, and respect, by not bullying them, ever.”

James let a sob out before covering his face and running for the fireplace. It flared for a moment before settling down.

The adults stood quietly for a moment with the rest of the kids present. “Rosie, go back to your room. We’ll be in shortly.” Rosie nodded before doing as asked.

“She was punished too, right?”

“We have. She’s grounded from her broom and quidditch, too. Just not as long, but for hitting Jamie afterward and not running to get you first.”

“Sounds fair,” Ginny looked at her other two kids. “How about we head home and the two of you can play more. Jamie will be grounded for quite some time. But you two know better than to pick on Hugo, right?” Two very enthusiastic nods were her answer.

“We’ll see you Sunday, even if you don’t come for Sunday lunch. Harry and I will pop over to have a few with you and bring leftovers if you don’t show.”

Ginny gave Hermione a hug and received a light pat on the shoulder from Ron before stepping to the fireplace hearth. “I am sorry for James’ behavior. He knows better and I know when Harry finds out, he’s going to blow his stack over it.” She looked at her two younger children. “It might also be time to sit this bunch down and explain a few things.” The adults shared a look.

“I’m sure once he knows everything about the consequences of the incident, he’ll calm down. We don’t want James turning into a toerag like Dudley was growing up.”

Ginny shook her head. “No, we don’t. Love to both of you and my nephew, too.” Al went first through the fireplace before Ginny pulled Lily Luna close to her and spun away in the flames.

After they left, Ron went to the cooling cabinet for a cold pumpkin juice and brought Hermione some water. “You think we were too hard on him? Two years is a very long time when you’re that young.”

“No, I think it’s just right. Ginny only banned him from Quidditch for the Summer and she only banned him from trying out for the house team until the start of his third year. She didn’t say he couldn’t fly on a family broom, only that we would hold his broom until he proved he’s mature enough to get it back. He’s free to fly but not on his prized possession or playing the sport he loves.”

Ron necked the bottle of his juice. “You think it will work?”

“I think it’s a fair and just punishment for hurting Hugo, even accidentally. We don’t want a repeat of the incident ever again.” Ron opened his arms and Hermione melted into the embrace, finally feeling the tension from everything that happened today melt. She stifled a sob but felt Ron’s arms tighten around her.

“Everything will sort itself out, Hermione. You’ll see.”

“I know.” They stayed hugging for a long while, both lost in their thoughts on their precious son.

64 notes · View notes

mhathotfic · 4 years

Text

As earlier promised, here’s the big list of big brother head canons. Real quick though, most of these have little bits of my personal ships in them except for Iida because when I wrote his I didn’t have anyone I really shipped him with and now it’s the exact opposite problem where I have to many Iida ships I love

Warnings: brief mention of child neglect

Todoroki

- Ok, so you know those parents that like to document everything their kid does because they’re just so proud?

- Yeah that’s how Todoroki is with his little sister

- Like I’m not even kidding, she’s the background picture on his phone

- He just loves her so much, ok

- He likes getting new things for her

- Toys, clothes, books

- Really whatever she might need or like

- Enji doesn’t care enough to get her even just some nice things

- So Todoroki might as well take matters into his own hands

- Whenever they go to visit Rei he lets her pick out flowers for her

- She always tries to get her favorites since she wants the visit to be extra special

- She loves it when Todoroki reads her bedtime stories

- She likes to compare him to the story book princes

- She’s really well-mannered and polite

- She calls all of Todoroki’s friends by their name followed by san

- except Midoriya she hasn’t explained why but she insists on calling him Izu-Niichan

- The first time she met Midoriya she stared at him for a good five minutes before he asked her about it

- “In the stories the prince always lives happily ever after with the princess but you and Shou-Niichan are both boys. Hmm… Shou-Niichan likes you a lot though, so it must be ok right?”

- Midoriya.Exe has stopped working

- “(Yn) I think it’s time we head home, it’s almost time for your nap” “Huh? But I’m not even tired yet!” “No arguing, or I won’t read you a story today” “That’s no fair!”

- They don’t talk about that incident

- A week after that though he read her a brand-new story about two princes

- She has definitely figured out why

- Because I’m sure you’re curious her hair is red at the roots and fades to white at the ends

- She once accidentally froze Enji��s legs together

- That’s when they learned she has an ice quirk

- All the Todoroki sibs were just like !!!!! our little sister did that???

- Todoroki was so proud

- He works carefully with her to make sure she can use her quirk to its fullest potential

- He won’t start helping her with hero training until she’s old enough to make that decision for herself though

- She accidentally called him Daddy once

- She doesn’t remember doing so though because she was already half asleep

- But Todoroki remembers it

- It was kinda bittersweet for him though

- On one hand he’s happy that he means that much to her

- On the other it makes him mad that he had to fill that role in her life because their father refused to

- Either way he’s determined to not let her suffer the same type of childhood he did

- She’d have a good life, he’d make sure of it

Midoriya

- Oh boy, he’s such a doting brother

- Midoriya sweetie, honey? She’s six, she can definitely walk around just fine on her own you don’t have to carry her around all the time

- He keeps a separate notebook so he can keep track of her hobbies and interest and do research on them

- See after being bullied for so long he’s really worried about her feeling isolated

- He was really relieved when her quirk manifested

- He’s glad that she won’t have to go through the same thing he did

- But my goodness did it surprise him

- She got their mom’s quirk but it’s a little stronger

- She was sleeping when she first used it

- Inko asked him to check on her and when he opened the door there were so many things just flying around her room

- He just kinda closed the door then slowly opened it again

- He then proceeded to lose it

- “M-MOM!? (YN) HAS A QUIRK!” “Izuku, you’re going to wake her up!”

- Inko is on the verge of cuteness induced heart attack every other day

- Like she’s gone into his room with fresh laundry and found them taking a nap together and she just melted

- She took pictures and if you ask nicely, she’ll show you

- He taught her how to read and write by letting her sit on his lap while he was taking notes

- He didn’t know she was learning from him until Inko started trying to teach her only to find that she already had a good grasp of it

- He’s actually pretty stern with her

- He doesn’t let her have her way all the time because that’s how you end up with a spoiled little girl

- He’s still really gentle with her, but he’ll put his foot down when needed

- “But Oniichan!” “I said no (Yn), you can’t have ice cream for breakfast. It’s not healthy for you ok? You can have some later today if you’re good” “Fine”

- Since she follows him around like a puppy, she’s picked up some of his habits

- She mumbles to herself a lot and has the same love for heroes

- If you ask her who her favorite hero is, she’ll undoubtedly say it’s Midoriya

- She loves his friends especially Uraraka because their quirks are so similar

- She was left alone with Todoroki for about fifteen minutes while the others got ice cream

- She rapid fire asks him about what he thinks of her brother

- “Do you like Oniichan? If you do, then are you going to tell him? When are you going to? How much do you like him? I think he likes you a lot, but I’m still his favorite ok? You can be with Oniichan as long as you don’t keep him all to yourself ok?”

- Once everyone comes back and Midoriya hands her the ice cream she tells him something along the lines of she approves

- He’s really confused until he asks how she behaved while he was gone

-“I think she gave me permission to marry you” “HUH?! I’m sorry Todoroki-kun that must’ve been uncomfortable for you” “I can’t say I’m all that bothered by it actually”

- He’s still not exactly sure what he meant by that

Kaminari

- He lives to make her laugh

- He sees it as a great achievement whenever he can get her laughing until she’s in tears

- They basically have langue of their own and yes that langue is memes

- No one ever know what they’re talking about

- But they look happy, so no one questions it

- He adores her and will find any excuse to brag about her

- They’re on some type of hive mind I swear to God

- Like they can look at each other from across a room and he just nods, and brings her a snack no questions asked

- He always brings exactly what she wanted to

- His friends thought maybe her quirk was telepathy or something but nope

- He calls it his big bro senses

- He calls her Pichu you can’t convince me otherwise

- Pichu is actually a great way to describe her

- She has the same quirk and even less control of it

- If she gets too worked up, she might zap you

- Kaminari forgets to tell his friends about her habit of shocking others so everyone in the Bakusquad has definitely been zapped

- “What the hell was that?!” “Oh yeah, she doses that sometimes”

- He’s actually a pretty responsible brother

- Whenever he goes somewhere with her, he makes sure to have everything she might need

- He always forgets to take everything out of his bag before going back to school though

- “Why do you have a doll in your bag?” “Huh, oh man that one’s (Yn)’s favorite she going to be so mad at me”

- She was, don’t get in between a girl and her favorite doll

- He’s learned how to style her hair in all sorts of ways

- He’s especially good at braiding her hair

- When she lets him, he’ll pick out her outfit

- Sometimes he picks a really nice outfit

- But most of the time it’s obvious she was dressed by him

- Like they aren’t ever bad outfits, but they’re interesting

- He takes her to parks a lot

- She likes exploring new places so he tries take her to different parks as much as he can

- One time a certain purple haired boy happened to be running in that park

- It couldn’t hurt to just talk to him really quick right?

- Wrong, he might have big bro senses, but she has little sis senses and she exclusively uses them to mess with him

- “Hey, Denki-Nii is this your friend?” “Yeah, this is Shinsou” “Oh! He’s that boy you like, right?”

Kirishima

- You ever seen a video of a golden retriever playing with a puppy retriever?

- Yeah thats them

- He’s just adores her so much

- She’s so spoiled oh my God

- He wants to be a good role model for her

- He’s heard that kids base their future relationships on the ones they make when they’re still young

- So, he wants her to know exactly how much she’s worth

- He’s not ashamed of playing dress up with her

- She wants to be a princess and it’s the manly thing to do

- If someone tries teasing him about it, he just kinda looks at them in pity and shakes his head

- “Why should I be ashamed of making my sister happy?”

- He paints her nails for her all the time

- One time she asked if she could paint his

- And that’s the story of the time he went to school with messily done red nails

- He gives her piggyback rides all the time

- Yes, he knows she can walk but this way is way more fun for both of them

- He gets really excited whenever she learns to do something on her own

- Then he gets a little pouty because she won’t need him anymore

- “You’re my best friend! I’m always going to need you!”

- Cue the water works

- Sero called her Minishima once

- It just kinda stuck

- She is now known as Minishima by all

- She picks fights with Bakugou a lot

- She’s on good terms with his other friends

- It’s literally just Bakugou that she picks fights with

- Kirishima thinks it’s hilarious so he provokes the situation

- He’s hanging out with Bakugou today? Better bring the kiddo

- She wants to have a tea party? What’s a party with just two people?

- “Hey! Don’t think that I’ll let you win just because Eiji-Niikun likes you!” “(Y-yn)!”

- It appears that there’s one drawback to his game

- her quirk is crystal manipulation

- Instead of hardening her skin she can crystallize things

- She has definitely used it to trip Bakugou before

- “What the hell brat!?” “He’ll never believe you”

- He did and scolded her about how that wasn’t a nice thing to do and made her apologize

Iida

- She looks up to him so much and he doesn’t really know how to handle it

- Like she looks at him like he’s just the coolest person ever

- And suddenly it’s clear to him why Tensei always tried to be someone he could look up to

- Of course, he got it before but it’s just different being the one someone looks up to

- All he wants is for her to be proud to call him her older brother

- He definitely picks out her outfits whenever he takes her somewhere

- She actually insists on it he doesn’t she’ll get pouty

- “(Yn), I you’re old enough to pick out your own clothes now” “But I want you to do it! I always like what you pick Tenya-Niikun!” “If you insist, I suppose I have no choice than”

- She loves riding around on his shoulders

- He knows he’s spoiling her a little too much, but he can’t help it

- He’s just completely wrapped around her little finger

- His friends think it’s really cute

- It’s not often you get to see him relax and let himself just be in the moment so it’s absolutely precious to watch them

- She loves playing pretend and has managed to get not only Iida but the whole dekusquad to join in her games

- Their all wrapped around her finger let’s be honest here, even Todoroki has a huge soft spot for her

- She has no idea she has so much power over them and thinks it’s normal to have five heroes in training ready to drop everything to play princess with her

- Her quirk is also engine but hers are on her heels

- She likes to have impromptu races with him

- He likes to let her win because its adorable to see her celebrate her victory

- He reads to her all the time as a result she well above the average reading level for her age

- Bedtime stories are a chapter or two form whatever classic he’s deemed age appropriate for her

Shinsou

- Nap time buddies, like just super snuggly all the time

- There’s legit a corner in his room that’s dedicated to being the comfiest nap spot for a five year old girl and her older brother one can imagine

- We’re talking fluffy blankets plush pillows a few stuffed animals and some story books in case she wants a story

- Ya know, the works

- It’s really cute honestly

- I can see him being a low key over protective

- Like he seems like cool chill older bro who doesn’t care as long as she’s having fun, but he’s so worried all the time

- He’s just like ‘you’re so tiny, literally everything could hurt you, but you walk around like you could kill God and that’s a problem’

- I know I’ve said literally everyone wrapped around their little sis’s fingers and he’s no different

- Proudest brother of them all

- Will take any opportunity to mention her

- Low key though, it’s way to embarrassing for him to casually gush about his younger sister

- “Who’s the kid on your phone?” “Oh, that’s my sister (Yn)” “I didn’t know you have a sister! She’s so cute!” “Ah thanks, she is pretty cute huh?”

- Ok so you know how some kids decide that when they get older they’re gonna marry the person their closest with because they think that’s what you have to do when you love someone?

- Yeah she thinks they’re gonna get married

- “When I grow up I’m gonna marry Nii-kun!” “No you’re not” “I am to!”

- She gets really jealous and huffy when he has to do something with out her even though he’s home and can hangout with her

- Like she understands when he has to leave for school but now he’s home! That should be her time!

- She’s definitely the 'you can’t date my big brother! He’s mine!’ type of little sister

- There was an incident when she met some of his school friends

- She looked Kaminari in the eyes and told him he’s not allowed to like her brother

- Shinsou has never scooped her up and excused himself so fast in his life

#shouto todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #denki kaminari x reader #kaminari denki x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader

331 notes · View notes

rurifangirl · 3 years

Note

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

#whdkkwkwkdk honestly I've written so fucjing much n for what😭😭#ruruasks #rurusocs #ruruslore #oc #ocs #my ocs stuff #rui #Lyva #shou #oc lore #i hope this shit doesn't flop cuz I've written so much n im just goinwbdjlwkdjdowodijqowodjdjoaodjdjdj #asks

12 notes · View notes

theatresweetheart · 4 years

Note

55. True Love kiss with Prinxiety? Pretty please!!

A Curse and a Promise

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, anxious thoughts, anxious feelings, self-deprecation.

Pairings: Romantic Prinxiety, Background Romantic Logicality

Characters: Roman, Virgil, Logan, Patton, Thomas (mentioned briefly but not present), Morgana (Original Character)

Word Count: 3859 words

——————————

The Imagination could be a dangerous place, he knew that. It could be whimsical and bright and exciting, but it had monsters and magic too. And with monsters and magic came curses.

It was a place where anything could be lurking around a corner or behind a group of trees, just waiting to pounce and catch the prince off guard.

It wasn’t an easy feat to do, but it certainly wasn’t impossible.

Roman loved the Imagination more than almost anything, but right now he would love nothing more than to get out of it.

The unconscious and limp form of Virgil in his arms was the leading reason. Sinking out would have been Roman’s first choice of action, but he knew how that negatively affected Virgil when he was awake, risking it while he was comatose was not an attractive idea. What if it caused him physical pain, instead of just nausea?‌ What if it pushed Virgil further out of their reach and kept him knocked out for God knows how much longer?

If he was being completely honest, he wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. He remembered vague bits and pieces of it. Roman was almost positive it was because he heard Virgil yelp and immediately shifted into his own version of fight or flight. And it was most certainly fight.

The icy blue eyes flashed through his mind’s eyes and he shook it off. Getting back to the door that led to the Mindscape was the most important thing. He needed to get them both out of here. He needed to get Virgil out of here. Roman could handle a curse or two dished out by the creatures in here—most tellingly the Dragon Witch (or the Dragon Bitch as Virgil had “lovingly” called her.) He was creativity, he could deal with that sort of thing as this was his realm. His world. Something he had grown up in.

Virgil was anxiety, and Roman had no idea how a curse would affect him.

Would he wake up eventually?‌ Heal?‌ Forget what happened?‌ Remember everything?‌

There were so many questions. Most of them may remain unanswered for as long as Virgil remained unresponsive.

Roman ducked under one of the lower hanging branches before dipping around a cluster of trees as best as he could with an unconscious Side tucked in his arms. The only reassurance that Roman had right now was that Virgil was breathing, and he was still physical and solid and real to the touch. He didn’t think a simple curse from the Imagination could do away with an aspect of Thomas’s personality, but it was hard to say as nothing like that had ever happened before.

And by God, he hoped they didn’t find out today.

In front of him, a few klicks away, a crimson red door came into view and Roman let out a relieved noise. His bedroom and the Mindscape were just beyond that door. Patton and Logan were beyond that door. And they could help, because Roman needed help. Truthfully, he didn’t know what to do. Having the embodiment of anxiety down and out for the count probably wasn’t a good thing. He only hoped that everything was running smoothly.

If they were lucky, the curse would only last as far as the corners of the Imagination and as soon as he stepped through the door, Virgil’s eyes would flutter open and he’d be totally fine.

It was wishful thinking, but one could hope.

Roman was only ten steps from the door itself, when he froze in his spot. The sounds of laughter echoed around him and he subconsciously held Virgil’s head closer to his chest, watching silently as the Dragon‌‌ Witch’s form manifested from seemingly nowhere and blocked their exit out.

“Now, now, Your Highness,”‌ she teased, dark red lipstick stretching over her lips as she smiled. It wasn’t a warm smile; it was thin, and displayed her fangs. “Where are you running off to?”

“Move,” Roman demanded, eyes hard and glinting dangerously. “I‌ will not warn you again.”

“Goodness,” she giggled, flicking her hair from her eyes, the raven black curls spilling over her shoulder like a waterfall. Two long, twisting horns sat perched on the top of her head like a crown.“You take one swing at the prince’s boy-toy and all of a sudden we’re no longer playing games.”

Roman grit his teeth. He took in an unsteady breath. “Morgana, move.”

“Ooh,” her voice sounded surprised, yet her features conveyed no such emotion. She stayed smug and uncaring. Morgana examined her nails, as if that was the most important thing to her. “We’re on a first name basis now, I see.” Her ice blue eyes flickered up to meet Roman’s dark hazels, that only seemed to darken more the longer she stalled. “If it makes you feel any better, Roman darling, I wasn’t aiming for him.”

Roman felt something crack in his chest. Even though he had already known that, it cut deep having her solidify that notion.

“Roman move!”‌

“What?”

“I’m not kidding, fucking move!”

He shook the thought off, Virgil’s tempest tongue fading into a recent memory. His eyes flickered briefly down to Virgil’s face. For a moment, Roman swore he saw his eyelashes flutter. The hope was crushed seconds after, when a soft gust of wind from just behind him shifted them just as much.

“I‌ was aiming for you,” she continued after a moment, as if Roman didn’t know that. “Of course, your Knight in Shining Armour there had to jump in and shove you out of the way. That self-sacrificing attitude certainly didn’t get him very far, did it? It’s a shame really, Anxiety had such potential.”

Those words shoved a knife of ice into Roman’s stomach and it twisted. Unease made bile raise in the back of his throat. “What?” His voice was just above a whisper.

“It’s a curse, Sweetheart,”‌ Morgana sneered, showing off those sharp pearly whites again, great wings spreading behind her. Almost framing her head like an angelic glow from behind. “What happens when someone gets cursed?”

“There’s a time limit,” Roman said, but it was more to himself. It was a bitter realization. “If we don’t wake him up soon—”

“—he won’t wake at all.”‌ The Dragon Witch sing-songed, looking all-too pleased with herself. “And then, gosh!‌ It would be far too late.”

Roman shook his head. No, they couldn’t lose Virgil. Not after everything they’d been through and not like this.

“You’ve gone too far,” he said after a moment, forcing his emotions down and turning to face the woman herself. He watched as Morgana stepped out of the way, though not much farther than that.

“Too far?”‌ Morgana mimicked, as if she didn’t believe what she was hearing. It wasn’t that ridiculous a notion.

“Yes!” Roman’s voice came suddenly. It was passionate and powerful. Sharp as a knife. “You can do whatever you want to me, fine. I‌ don’t care what you do to me, but Virgil doesn’t deserve this. You do not get to toy with him.”

Morgana’s eyes blew wide for just a moment, allowing Roman a clear view of her surprise before it was quickly swept away and replaced with that same smug smirk.

“I’d say I’m offended, but I’m really not,” she said, folding her arms together, her eyes scanning over his person. “Anyhow, time is ticking. If you want to save him, I would recommend moving faster than that.”

This was not over. Not in the least. Roman was going to give the Dragon Witch exactly what she deserved, however, that would have to wait. He had more important matters on his hands.

Readjusting Virgil so his head was higher up and laying against Roman’s shoulder, he made sure his arms were secure under his knees and back before moving forward. His eyes only met Morgana’s once, and he could see those blue pools flickering back at him, looking amused. As if this was some game to her.

The bitch.

Roman nudged the door open before stepping inside and immediately shutting it behind him. It took him no energy at all to lock it.

He let out an another unsteady breath and his eyes flickered down to Virgil once more, hoping against all hope that he would get to see those liquid brown eyes blinking open and meeting his own. He was welcomed with the same sight since this all happened.

Roman burst through his bedroom door, making a beeline down toward the living room. He could hear Patton and Logan talking about something or other.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t important.

While almost tripping down the stairs, his eyes flickered between the both of them as they looked back at him with different levels of surprise and alarm.

“I need help.”

—

“I don’t know why you wanted me to come with you,” Virgil pushed a branch out of his face, ducking under it as he followed Roman’s path through the woods and away from the door leading to the Mindscape. “Pretty sure anxiety and imagination don’t go well together.”

“Have no fear, my Dark and Stormy Knight,” Roman had said back to him, glancing Virgil over his shoulder. “You have me to guide you, and with such a stoic and trustworthy leader, you’ll be absolutely fine.”

“If you refer to yourself as a ‘stoic and trustworthy leader’ again, I’m going to vomit.”

Roman snorted. “Are you afraid of getting lost?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Can’t say it didn’t cross my mind, but it’s not what I’m actively worried about.”

“Well,” Roman paused walking for just a moment, allowing Virgil to fall into place beside him. Without another moment of hesitation, he grabbed Virgil by the hand and interlaced their fingers. “Now you won’t have to worry about getting lost, period. Come, we have more to see!”

Virgil could hardly process the fact that Roman had just grabbed his hand before he was being led further into the forest. He would admit, the Imagination had it’s charms. The green was crisp and colourful. Ponds they would pass were full of fish and the water was crystal clear.

Roman was talking to him. He was using his free hand to gesture widely, happily chattering about something or other. And it was endearing.

Though, something was stopping Virgil from enjoying this moment. He could feel the hair on the back of his neck tingling, as if they were being watched by something. Apparently, this feeling was going completely unnoticed by the prince who kept parading ahead as if nothing was wrong.

Virgil stopped walking after spotting movement in his peripherals. His eyes followed it to the trees ahead of them. Roman paused as well, his hand still linked with the other’s. He turned to look over his shoulder, but instead of meeting the other’s eyes, he noticed Virgil scanning in front of them. He looked as if he was on high alert, which could mean a few different things.

Roman released his hand, reaching to his side and drew his sword. It wasn’t that there weren’t things actively seeking them out just to toy with them. One creature in particular easily came to mind. “What did you see?”

Virgil stiffened. “I don’t know.”

Roman stepped a bit more forward, eyes scanning the trees now as well, looking for something that could be a threat. Just waiting for one of them to slip up and make a wrong move.

A form appeared in the corner of Virgil’s eye and he followed it to see a slender silhouette in the shadows of the trees. Their hands raised and something sparking at their fingertips. For a moment, it didn’t register what was happening, but whatever magic was in that creature, it was aimed directly for—

“Roman move!”

The prince twisted on his heel, watching Anxiety beginning to get antsier. “What?”

A voice hissed something—that sounded vaguely like a swear—from the side and Virgil pushed himself forward, acting on instinct. “I’m not kidding, fucking move!”

A shoulder slammed into his own and it sent Roman to the ground, the wind being knocked out of his lungs and his sword skittering a few inches from his hand. A‌ loud yelp of anguish was the first thing he registered, before the sound of a body hitting the ground was the last.

His head spun as he raised himself up onto his elbows. Roman turned instantly from his new position and saw Virgil crumpled on the ground, laying completely still. A stab of worry immediately hit him hard and he crawled forward, nudging the anxious Side onto his back.

“Virgil!”

—

Roman had been pacing since he’d put Virgil down in his bed.

They’d laid Virgil in his own room for an hour hoping that his room’s energy would wake him up. It had had the opposite effect that had been hoping for and Logan had been the first to notice that his room only made the eye shadow under his eyes darker.

Virgil’s fair skin was pale against the royal red sheets around him. He looked peaceful, oddly enough. The most peaceful Roman had seen him in a long time. He could see the smattering of freckles dotting his skin. Imperfect, but flawless and soft.

Roman’s hands moved to brush through his hair for the umpteenth time before resting on the nape of his neck, almost unsure of what else to do with them at this point.

Patton was sat beside Virgil, watching the anxious Side with a careful gaze, but his eyes would flicker up to Roman, watching him sadly as he paced constantly. Back and forth, trying to wring out that nervous energy.

“We’ll wake him up,” Patton told him after a minute more of Roman’s helpless pacing, “and everything will be back to normal.”

“But what if it isn’t?” Roman stopped moving for the first time since he’d settled Virgil down, his back toward Patton as he faced the door leading into the Imagination. “What if we run out of time and we lose him forever? Patton, I’d never get to tell him.”

Patton’s features softened further and he pushed himself up into a stand. He grabbed Roman by the hands before leading the creative Side back to the chair he had just been in and guided him down into it. Roman tried to resist for only a moment, before relaxing into it just enough.

“He’d never know,” the words just fell past his lips without his permission and Patton sat on the edge of the bed, his hands still holding Roman’s.

“He’ll wake up.” Patton squeezed his hands and Roman raised his eyes, but there was that worry deeply rooted in the dark hazels. “Don’t you worry. Virge wouldn’t want us to just accept it, would he?”

Roman shook his head with a soft, wet laugh. “No,” he said after a moment. He could already hear Virgil calling him an idiot, if only he’d actually say it. Roman had never wished to hear that teasingly insulting and sarcastic voice call him a name more than he did now. It would bring back that sense of normalcy.

But Virgil remained quiet and still.

The sound of the door opening behind him made Roman swivel in his seat and Patton just raised his head.

“Roman, you said it was a curse right?” Logan shut the door behind him, a glass of water in hand before setting it on the bedside table next to Virgil.

Roman nodded. Of course it was a curse. The damned witch had told him that to his face.

“How do you usually break a curse?” Logan continued, trying to get the other two to catch on.

It took a moment, but the realization dawned on both he and Patton at the same time, though, both of their of reactions were completely different. Roman shot out of the chair, pushing his hands through his hair again.

“A kiss!” Patton exclaimed, his eyes flickering between Roman and Virgil exclusively, certainly not making a point.

“Exactly,” Logan said, his attention turning up to Roman as he took his empty spot in the chair. “As cliche and unorthodox as it is, a kiss of true love could very possibly be our only option.”

A kiss of true love.

It was so painfully obvious. Of course it was. Of course it was something like that. Of fucking course it was a kiss.

“Roman?”‌ Patton’s voice was soft behind him, and he turned to glance over his shoulder at the other two. “It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?”

It made sense. To at least give it a try, because who knew?‌ Maybe it would work. Virgil would wake up and push him out of his personal space. He’d be back to normal and they could go back to a normal way of life and move on as if this had never happened.

Roman took a moment and steadied his breath.

“It’s worth a shot,” he told himself, just under his breath.

He turned on his heel and approached the bedside before he could second-guess himself.

Though, he hesitated. At first, Roman wasn’t sure why. Kneeling down to the side of the bed, he just took a moment and examined what he saw in front of him.

He saw porcelain skin, dark eyelashes, smudges of eye-shadow under tired eyes.

He took another breath, reaching forward and took Virgil’s hand in his own. It was cool to the touch and their fingers didn’t interlace. It didn’t feel the same way it did back in the Imagination. He swallowed back his nerves and hovered a little closer to Anxiety. So close in fact, that Roman could see the smattering of pale freckles that dotted the bridge of Virgil’s nose like a galaxy. His eyes flickered down to his lips– they were parted slightly, a soft inhale and exhale of breath. The only telling sign that he was still breathing, alongside the gentle and steady rise and fall of his chest.

Roman leaned down just enough that they were just a breath away from meeting lips—he heard Patton take in a small breath—and he hesitated.

Not because of the soft squeak, but because this wouldn’t be right.

“I can’t do it,” Roman whispered, more to himself (and maybe partially to the unconscious Side just a breath away from him) than to the rest of the room. He pulled back finally, eyes never leaving Virgil’s features. When he was awake, those same features were angular and sharp, but here, he looked soft. “I‌ can’t do it to him.”

“…what?”

Roman turned to face Logan, finally breaking his silent staring contest. “I‌ can’t. You know how he feels about the idea of being kissed without consent. Especially when unconscious, true loves kiss or not. It wouldn’t be right to go against his wishes.”

Even that being said, there was no such thing as true loves kiss between him and Virgil, because why would there be? Virgil didn’t love him, simple as that. Suffering through an unrequited admiration was difficult and not leaning down and connecting their lips as harder.

But it wouldn’t be fair.

Roman knew exactly where Virgil stood with this exact thing and going against that would be hurtful.

He cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the lump that had found its way there. “We’ll just have to find another way.”

There had to be other ways.

Before anything more could happen, Logan was speaking. “Is it ever specified that a true loves kiss has to be on the mouth?”

Roman paused, shoulders stiffening. In just a moment, he ran through everything he’d ever watched, read, listened to. He wasn’t just the creative and fanciful Side. Everything that he skimmed through and it never mentioned that a kiss had to be on the lips. Just because Disney movies and other fairy tales depicted the prince waking the princess with a kiss on the lips didn’t mean that it had to be like that in this case. It was never specified what kind of kiss or where it was on the body.

As long as it was out of true love.

He turned back to face Virgil. Seeing him so silent was still unnerving. Virgil was never silent. At least, not completely. But this, this was a whole new level of eerie and unsettling. And heart wrenching.

Roman took a breath, trying to steady his beating heart. He reached up ever so gently with his free hand, as he hadn’t let Virgil’s go, and brushed his dark bangs away from his forehead.

Oh god, please let this work.

He leaned forward, and this time when he heard Patton make a soft noise, he didn’t hesitate. He pressed his lips against the smooth, cool skin that had been hidden away under Anxiety’s bangs. His stomach did a flip at the contact before he pulled away.

Roman’s eyes immediately went down to see if Virgil was stirring.

But nothing happened.

“I knew it,” he whispered, feeling that bitter bite of failure rising in his chest. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to wake him up.”

“Roman that’s not fair—”

“It’s true though, isn’t it?” He cut Patton off, dark eyes brimming with tears, blurring the world over. “I‌ spend years tormenting him, years.‌‌‌ And now– now just because we can see eye-to-eye on some things, I‌ hope I’m the one that wakes him up?”

His hand tightened subconsciously on Virgil’s, and he shook his head with a breathless huff of laughter.

“Just because I‌ love him, that doesn’t mean anything.” Roman ran his free hand through his hair, pushing down the emotions nipping at him. “It has to go two ways. That’s how it works. It doesn’t mean anything if it’s unrequited.”

“…then you really are an oblivious idiot,”‌ a familiar voice croaked from beside him.

Roman felt his hand being squeezed back and he blinked, turning immediately to meet Virgil’s eyes, who was blinking blearily back at him. Roman used his free hand to wipe at the water that had escaped down his cheeks. He turned to face the other Side fully, giving him his complete attention.

The fact that Virgil was looking at him because he had woken him up made his throat tighten.

“Virgil–” his name was just a breath on his mouth.

“Save the chit-chat, Princey,” Virgil waved off the oncoming apology as if he could have seen it a mile away, “you’re good, don’t fret.”

Roman swallowed thickly, trying to clear the lump that had formed. “Do you…?”

“Obviously,” Virgil answered the unasked question. He pushed up from his spot on the bed, sitting up and letting his eyes rove over the red comforter in front of him. His eyes met Roman’s once more. “Or I’m pretty sure I’d be still be out cold.”

Roman surged forward, wrapping Anxiety into a tight embrace all the while ignoring the startled noise he’d gotten from the other. After a second of surprise, he felt Virgil wrap his arms back around him, stroking a hand up his back as Roman buried his face into Virgil’s shoulder, hiding it in the bunches of soft fabric.

“You’re fine, Ro, really,”‌ Virgil’s voice reverberated through his chest, and Roman’s hands tightened in his hoodie. “It’s okay.”

And it was for once.

280 notes · View notes

themattress · 3 years

Text

My Top 15 Favorite Gotham Characters

Plus one Honorable Mention.

Honorable Mention: Silver St. Cloud - She's an honorable mention because of how tragically the show wasted her. Silver was a standout character in 2A's “Rise of the Villains” arc, as we see all the layers peeled back from whimsical, kind-hearted, well-mannered young socialite to cruel, manipulative, cold-blooded agent of an evil religious cult to vulnerable, scared and remorseful girl in way over her head who forges a real emotional connection with Bruce. However, despite all the rich potential for her to develop even further as a character, she was never seen again after the 2A finale.

15. Tabitha Galavan - While as a character she's the very definition of a second-stringer, Tabitha is an interesting case study in what happens when a single ember of innocence is still left burning within the darkest of souls. Raised in the evil Order of St. Dumas and kept firmly under her older brother's thumb, Tabitha is certainly no angel, being the sort of person who will fatally stab an innocent old woman in the back and feel no remorse. But the desire to care and be cared for is still very strong in her, and we see it manifest many times: with Silver, and with Selina, and with Barbara, and of course with Butch. Unfortunately for Tabitha, she is also a case study in how this doesn't guarantee that such a person will receive a happy ending, as she is unable to avoid karmic justice.

14. Butch Gilzean - I didn't really care about Butch initially, since he didn't seem like anything more than Fish Mooney's affably evil muscle. After he became brainwashed into obeying the Penguin's every command, he gradually became more interesting and sympathetic, and by the time he got romantically involved with Tabitha I had become so accustomed to him and his perversely likable sort of villainy that I couldn't imagine the show without him. But maybe the show would have been better off without him after his death in the Season 3 finale, as the immediate retcon afterward of his real name being Cyrus Gold and his resurrection as Solomon Grundy in Season 4 was just nonsense, especially when he ends up just as dead in the Season 4 finale as he was in the Season 3 finale, so what was even the point? Sometimes, dead is better, and I’m sure Butch would agree.

13. Harvey Bullock - For much of Season 1 it felt like the writers were trying to play Harvey Bullock too seriously, and I think that was a mistake because the character always benefits from being played more broadly, and lord knows that Donal Logue can do that very well. Thankfully, that's exactly how he started to be played more often from Season 2 and onward, with whatever serious arcs he did receive such as in Season 4 benefiting from him being so much more likable as a result. I'd rather watch him on screen than Jim Gordon any day.

12. Leslie Thompkins - While initially kind of bland, Leslie "Lee" Thompkins is a character that grew on me overtime. I felt really sorry for her throughout Seasons 2 and 3 as Jim Gordon proved to be the worst love interest ever, bringing her no end of pain, and then in Seasons 4 and 5 she used that pain and anger to shape herself into a total badass anti-heroine who was still all about helping those in need but now was open to using less than moral means to accomplish this. She's a character who finished the show stronger than she'd ever been, and her and Barbara becoming bros is everything I never knew I needed.

11. Sofia Falcone - Sometimes, a sharp and devious mind is all it takes for someone to be a great villain, and damn did Sofia ever put hers to good use. In the comics, this was a forgettable character who was just an obvious thug in design and demeanor, but Gotham's version is terrifying in how petite and pretty and kind and charitable and all around attractive in every way she is...the perfect way to manipulate others and conceal that on the inside she's beyond just a thug; she's a raging, ruthless, vindictive, amoral sociopath who only cares about herself. And kudos to Crystal Reed, whose performance sold the character perfectly. The only real downside to Sofia is that the writers clearly were forced to write her out earlier than anticipated, and her abrupt exit from the show is nowhere close to being as satisfying as the build-up to her gaining power within the city would lead you to believe.

10. Ra's Al Ghul - As wonderful as Sofia was, there was never any question as to whom Season 4's most formidable villain was: the same villain who is the series' ultimate Big Bad, Ra's Al Ghul. Beyond the phenomenally perfect casting of Alexander Siddig, who is hands down the most comics-accurate portrayal of the character in live-action to date, Ra's benefits from the series positioning him as the final answer to the long-running "who killed Thomas and Martha Wayne?" mystery and totally being able to convince viewers that most of this series' events were according to his plans due to the self-assured, in-control and borderline omnipotent way the Demon's Head carries himself. No-one in Gotham City is left unchanged by his machinations, least of all his chosen "heir" Bruce Wayne.

9. Hugo Strange - The Big Bad of 2B's "Wrath of the Villains" arc is in the running for the show's most despicable villain. Professor Hugo Strange is a brilliant psychologist and scientist, but he is utterly devoid of a conscience and will do anything to achieve his twisted aspirations, from ruining peoples' lives with his experiments to bringing people back from the dead to personally ordering the death of those he considers to be friends. What makes Strange enjoyable in spite of his depravity is B.D Wong's performance: he looks absolutely perfect as a younger version of Hugo Strange and his voice seems to be channeling Corey Burton's Christopher Lee-inspired take from Batman: Arkham City. He's a much stronger villain than 2A's Theo Galavan, and tellingly got to return in every following season.

8. Edward Nygma - I really wish I could place Ed higher on this list, since the Riddler is one of my favorite Batman villains and Cory Michael Smith is perfect in the role. But sadly, he's the subject of some really weak writing throughout the show that holds him back from breaching my personal Top 5. Whether it be the constant Nice Guy(TM) hounding of Kristen Kringle, the bizarre Two Face-esque split personality angle, the ungodly stupid Isabella plot device and subsequent clashing with the Penguin because of it, his needless romance with Lee that didn't make sense for either of their characters (which wasn't helped by the fact that it happened at a time where he kept on getting made a fool of in a way that undermined how menacing he was just a season ago), and being used as an obvious red herring in the Haven explosion mystery...he really deserved better material, and it's lucky that Smith makes him so enjoyable to watch since it would otherwise drag him down much further.

7. Jerome Valeska - Cameron Monaghan's performance as Jerome single-handedly forced the Gotham producers' hands when it came to their original plans (or lack thereof) for the Joker in their series, as right off the bat he managed to perfectly capture the same maniacal energy that the likes of Mark Hamill and Heath Ledger did, meaning fans would accept no-one else in the role. While Jerome ends up being more of a test run for the actual Joker - the Beta Joker, so to speak - he still is one of the most frightening and malevolent characters in the show's entire run, spreading chaos for chaos' sake and causing pain to others just because he finds it hilarious, and doing it all in the most theatrical way possible.

6. Jeremiah Valeska - Yes, I agree that this character's whole basis - Jerome's secret twin brother who actually becomes the Joker - and how he was introduced is unbelievably stupid writing; in hindsight it would have made more sense to just find a way to transition Jerome into this kind of characterization as part of a continued evolution toward becoming the Joker. But we're stuck with Jeremiah, and as it stands he is a much worthier Joker than Jerome was. I don't really like the Joker whenever he's written to have no motivation beyond "random crime and chaos because LOL crazy!!!" - the best Jokers always have a reason for doing what they do, it's just that it's always a twisted reason that holds no basis in reality and just serves as an excuse for the Joker to spread pain and chaos across Gotham City and match wits with Batman. (Ex: Heath Ledger's Joker may say he has no plans and just "does things" as a manipulation tactic, but in reality he does make plans and does have the tangible objective of proving his nihilistic, anarchistic worldview to everyone; Batman in particular.)

Jeremiah's penchant for intricate planning combined with the psychotic objectives that lie behind his plans is what makes him more believable as the Joker compared to Jerome, and it really felt like the show's stakes rose to an entirely new, darker than ever before level when he stepped up to the plate at the end of Season 4. I also love his development: being in denial about his own insanity and likeness to his brother until his personal obsession with Bruce overpowers that and causes him to willingly give into the madness so that he can be a worthy enough foil for Bruce as Gotham's Dark Knight, since that gives his miserable life a sense of purpose. Add to this Cameron Monaghan still pulling off that Joker energy flawlessly and you have a Joker that can stand beside Nicholson, Ledger and Phoenix's portrayals.

5. Barbara Kean - This one really took me by surprise. I knew going into the show that Barbara was considered a poorly written, irritating obstructive love interest to Gordon in Season 1, but that she got Rescued From the Scrappy Heap in the following seasons. What I didn't know was the way that rescuing happened - she goes crazy and becomes a surprise villain in the Season 1 finale, and from then on out she is freaking nuts in the most hilariously over-the-top way, with Erin Richards chewing the scenery for all it's worth. Barbara is so entertaining throughout the various guises and positions she goes through across the series, not to mention a complete badass who you just can't help but respect for being true to herself even if she's an awful human being. Her redemption arc in Season 5 was a beautiful way to bring her journey full-circle, and I don't begrudge her the happy ending she got at all.

4. Alfred Pennyworth - We're all used to Alfred the butler, but Gotham got me accustomed to Alfred the soldier. Sean Pertwee is thoroughly convincing in the role of the hard-assed, frequently grumpy or moody yet caring, loyal and dependable Alfred, whose relationship with young Bruce Wayne is perfectly depicted. The only time I didn't care for him was during 2A, where he was cruel and unfair toward Selina because she killed his treacherous war-time buddy who almost murdered him and was planning on doing harm to Bruce. Thankfully, from the midseason finale and onward he managed to redeem himself, regaining his status as one of the show's best-depicted characters and maintaining it all the way to the end.

3. Bruce Wayne - This character was always going to live or die based on what child actor was playing him, and by God did David Mazouz nail it in his performance. Even putting the dead parents and destiny as Batman aside, Bruce Wayne is clearly not a "normal" kid, being raised in the lap of luxury and privileged to the point of extreme naïveté, with an overly formal way of speaking hammering in his distance from the rest of Gotham City. Watching him grow stronger and smarter and more worldly and responsible as the series progressed was always a pleasure, and he naturally made a far more compelling protagonist than Jim Gordon did, with the show ending on the shot that it does making it even more clear that this was primarily his story all along; just one elongated origin story for the goddamn Batman.

2. Selina Kyle - For quite a while in Season 1, the teenage girl who would be Catwoman spent a lot of time just slinking around the fringes of the story and accomplishing little of value. But once she finally met Bruce, Selina's character really took off, and she ended up becoming my second all-time favorite character in the show. Aside from the strong writing and character development, much is also owed to Camren Bicondova, who is utterly charming in her depiction of the cynical, sharp-tongued, street-smart thief with a heart of gold, and she is even able to make her rushed final transition into Catwoman in Season 5 believable. And kudos to Lili Simmons who plays her in the final episode, she is perfectly convincing as an adult version of Selina, looking and sounding just as I expect Bicondova to in a few years.

1. Oswald Cobblepot - OK, this is probably an unoriginal choice, but I can't help it - Oswald Cobblepot, aka the Penguin, is the one character on this show who just did no wrong as far as I'm concerned (as a character, I mean, he obviously did a lot wrong morally!) In addition to being the role Robin Lord Taylor was born to play, there is a consistency in the writing of his character and in the quality of his development that I think is unmatched by anyone else in the cast. Aside from that one blip in the Isabella plotline of Season 3 that I credit as more of a blemish on Ed than I do Oswald, he was always a fully three-dimensional character who acted and reacted believably, and he always stayed firmly on the line between being a heinous, ruthless, murderous criminal chiefly seeking power and a tragic, sympathetic, even funny and likable person chiefly seeking love. And he always remained the "noble villain" when compared to the other villains around him; always the one you could count on to join the heroes and do the right thing when it counted because he's a pragmatist with moral lines he will not cross....and because he loves and believe in Gotham City too, in his own way.

#Gotham #Opinion #Analysis

8 notes · View notes

crygimethydgoode · 3 years

Text

Lover’s Fantasia Chapter 3 (Crystal Methyd x Gigi Goode RPDR12) Something About the Sunshine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32286397/chapters/80491075

Summary: Two months after season 12 finished filming, Crystal and the Get Dusted Girls go to Los Angeles to visit Gigi and the House of Avalon. Meanwhile in Amsterdam, Crystal and Gigi are learning to be friends again.

seeing you in a whole new light

June 28th, 2021

Amsterdam

Crystal and Gigi sat in silence on the balcony for a few moments, not sure where to even start. Where do you start with someone you haven’t spoken to in almost a year? How do you face the person who had kept you awake for days and days? How do you open a wound that you tried so hard to stitch up? Gigi wasn’t sure if there was a right answer or an answer at all. Nonetheless, the hard part was over, she crossed the line. But where do they go from there? Thankfully, Crystal started the conversation.

“This isn’t how I expected my first day in Amsterdam to go,” She joked, offering a small smile. Gigi chuckled, nerves starting to settle.

“That’s the understatement of the year,” she muttered. They laughed together for a moment, it was nice. Gigi felt nostalgic, almost. She relaxed. “Uhm- Jaida and Michelle didn’t tell me you would be here. Granted, I don’t think they knew any better. They probably thought it would be a cool surprise or something,” Gigi joked. Crystal took a hit of her joint, not reaching Gigi’s gaze.

“I… didn’t tell anyone, only Lux, and Daya,” she whispered. “It just... it wasn’t easy to talk about. It still isn’t.” Gigi searched Crystal’s face for a hint at what she could possibly be feeling right now, but as always, she only drew blanks.

“Believe me, I know. I didn’t tell many either. Just the ones who mattered,” Gigi said. She wracked her brain searching for the right words, but every phrase she came up with seemed dumb or cringey. God, this was harder than she expected.

“Shit! Ouch ouch ouch!” Crystal yelped, burning herself on her joint. Gigi couldn’t help but smile. It was just... Crystal.

“I-Uh, I know we haven’t been okay,” Gigi started weakly. “We were both hurting and needed time and… and I was okay, but I hated not being your friend. And I know so many things have been left unsaid and trust isn’t built overnight but… can we just be fine for now?” Gigi looked out at the canal below them only to be greeted with the moon's reflection in the water. “Plus, look where we are!” she breathed, still in awe of the beauty of Amsterdam. “It’s not worth it, worrying about our past isn’t worth it when we have this… future,” Gigi said all in one breath. She looked up, Crystal just grinned at Gigi, eyes shining.

“So let’s be okay. We’ll move on… for now. Because I just- I’m so happy we’re here, even if we didn’t both mean to be here,” Crystal said, trying to hide the excitement in her voice. Gigi’s stomach flipped, but she ignored it. She had Crystal back, that’s what mattered. “God, I have so much to tell you,” Crystal laughed, taking another hit. Gigi found herself grinning wider than she had for an entire year.

“You’re not ready to hear some of the bullshit I need to tell you about,” Gigi said. Crystal looked at Gigi, it felt weighted. She smiled, scooting her chair closer to Gigi’s and passing her the joint.

“I’ve missed you,” Crystal said, fighting back a smile. Gigi hit the joint, simply looking at Crystal as she exhaled, feeling content.

“I missed you too,” Gigi said and fought back the urge to reach for Crystal’s hand.

‘Old habits die hard’

November 2019

Los Angeles

“Okay, Gigi. Now, I know that old habits die hard. But you’ve got this, okay?” Hunter said in the driver's seat, glancing at Gigi in the passenger seat.

“Okay,” Gigi agreed, but she couldn’t wipe that stupid smile off her face. In 20 minutes Crystal would be in LA, and Gigi would finally get to see her. Yes, it was only four days. But she knew those four days would be everything and more. Gigi couldn’t wait. She, Hunter, Rosy, Symone, and Rubber Child were piled into Hunter’s jeep, windows down, and Gigi swore the sun was shining just for them.

“Now Gigi,” Hunter began. “You’re not going to flirt and be all crazy for Crystal because...?” he prompted. With a roll of her eyes, Gigi answered.

“Because she’s unattainable.”

Hunter had been “coaching” Gigi in the weeks leading up to Crystal’s arrival. She couldn’t blame him either. Someone in the group had to have common sense. She did listen to Hunter and really was committed to not flirting with Crystal. In front of him.

Because while Gigi was listening to Hunter, coming up with diversion tactics, and swearing up and down she was over Crystal, she was also having sleepovers with Symone and Rosy, where they stayed up until the early hours of the morning wondering how things would go when Crystal came to L.A. Coming up with all the different ways Crystal might confess her undying love for Gigi. It was a really good balance.

“Okay OR, hear me out,” Rubber interrupted. “Convince Crystal to dump her boyfriend and FUCK HER!” Gigi, Rosy, and Symone burst out laughing while Hunter just shook his head, trying to fight back a smile.

“ALRIGHT, BUT YOU COULD DO IT GIGI! YOU COULD DO IT!” Symone got out between laughs. “I stalked the hell outta this Paul. He’s... he’s okay. But he’s got NOTHING on you, Gigi! AND he followed me on Tiktok! And I think he knows that I know it’s him,” Symone said scandalously.

“HE FOLLOWED YOU ON TIKTOK!?” Rosy screeched, eyes frantic.

“YES, AND IT TERRIFIED ME IT’S MY PRIVATE TIKTOK!” Symone yelled back as Rubber muttered “Stalker,” under her breath. Gigi slowly stopped laughing and shifted in her seat to look at the three girls.

“Yeah,” She breathed, a sad smile on her face. “But Crystal wants to be with him, so... I don’t know. I don’t like to think about him much. It’s like... he’s not relevant to... us. Ugh, that sounds cheaty. I don’t know…” Gigi trailed off. “Nothing is gonna happen between me and Crystal as long as they’re together, so…”

“So we’re gonna break them up?” Rubber asked, a shit-eating grin on her face. Before Rosy and Symone could start cheering, Hunter interrupted.

“NO. We’re not breaking anybody up. That’s horrible,” he scolded them. “But this is my whole point. Crystal is in a relationship. We know they’ve been together a while now. And you’re just setting yourself up for heartbreak, Geege. What are you gonna do if god forbid, someday she posts on Instagram and she has a wedding ring or something?”

“I would manifest Paul away!” Rosy exclaimed, grinning brightly.

“I would say 50% of marriages end in divorce,” Symone smirked, shooting Gigi a wink in the rearview mirror.

“I would kill him,” Rubber said easily. “Comforting a widow is so sexy.”

“RUBBER NO!” Everyone yelled, and then they were all laughing, wind whipping through their hair.

“Okay no to all of that. You would say ‘In another life.’ Dumbass,” Hunter tried to sound serious, but now he was grinning too, and Gigi knew he was excited, no matter how stern he’d been attempting to act.

“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, right?! I’m over her!” Gigi gave her biggest shit-eating grin to Hunter, who just reached up and lightly punched Gigi in the arm.

“You’re lucky I love you kid,” he shook his head. Gigi couldn’t contain her excitement as Hunter took the exit, turning back again to grin at Symone, Rubber, and Rosy who were bouncing in their seats. As soon as Hunter found a parking spot, Gigi was out of the jeep, speed walking into the airport. The group had to jog to catch up with her. She walked into the airport and looked around for a moment. The last time Gigi had been there, Crystal had been crying in her arms, not wanting to say goodbye but knowing she had to. The last time Gigi had been there, she was broken. Now she couldn’t stop looking in every direction, trying to spot a head of dark brown curls and a bright pink suitcase. Trying to find the small piece of herself that had been in Missouri for nearly three months now.

And finally, she saw her. There Crystal was at the top of the escalator, stuck behind a crowd of people. She hadn’t spotted Gigi yet, she was also looking around the airport. Was she looking for Gigi?

Gigi waved an arm in the air, trying to make eye contact with Crystal. Finally, she saw them. Crystal’s bright brown eyes landed on Gigi, and her face immediately broke into a grin. And Gigi forgot how to breathe.

She knew Lux and Daya were behind Crystal, but barely noticed. Because suddenly Crystal was on the move, unashamedly pushing past people on the escalator, never losing her smile, never breaking eye contact with Gigi. And before Gigi even had a chance to comprehend everything that was happening, Crystal launched herself into Gigi’s arms, face burrowed in her neck.

“Hi,” Crystal said gruffly, arms wrapped tight around Gigi. All Gigi could do was squeeze Crystal harder, forehead on her shoulder.

She was here. She was here. She was here.

Gigi wasn’t sure who’s heart was beating faster, who was whispering “I missed you I missed you I missed you I missed you” like it was a prayer. All she knew was that she had never been hugged tighter, had never felt so relieved to see someone. Crystal pulled away, still holding Gigi in her arms, just grinning at her, studying every last detail of her face. Gigi pretended not to notice the tears in Crystal’s eyes.

“Hello,” Gigi whispered, and Crystal pulled her into another hug. She was shaking. Or maybe that was Gigi. And then they were ripped apart by Rosy and Symone, who were now crowding around Crystal. Gigi saw the Get Dusted girls come up behind them, Hunter and Rubber walking over to join them. And all of a sudden they were having a family reunion in the middle of the airport, despite the fact that none of them actually knew each other.

Luckily Gigi had stalked the hell out of Lux and Daya on social media so she could tell who she was hugging. Gigi could feel Crystal watching them, wanting them to like each other so much. As she laughed her head off with Lux and Daya, all Gigi could think was how on earth could she not love them?

Eventually, Gigi found her way back to Crystal, who was talking to Symone, laughing at something she had just said.

“I like this one!” Symone exclaimed to Gigi. Crystal gave a soft smile and turned to Gigi.

“Symone likes me,” she said matter of factly. Gigi just smiled and threw an arm around Crystal. She could see Rosy whispering something to Lux and dissolving into giggles. They were definitely laughing at Crystal and Gigi. Good. For the first time since August, Gigi felt complete again. The small piece of her heart that belonged to Crystal was back with her. Home.

What a weird concept, home.

Gigi felt like she had so many homes. Chicago, with her parents and brothers. Where she could laugh the day away, feeling safe and content, head in her mom's lap, home. And of course the House of Avalon, with Gigi’s chosen family. Late nights with everyone scream-laugh-crying in the living room, where Gigi could truly be herself and never feel insecure. Home.

And then Gigi just knew the feeling of home.

Legs tangled with Crystal in the back of the van, whispering back and forth. Holding Crystal’s hand in the untucked lounge, knowing it was the only thing keeping her grounded. Foreheads nearly brushing, passing a joint back and forth in the bathtub. Waking up to Crystal’s hand clasped tightly in hers. Crystal’s face buried deep in Gigi’s neck, neither of them wanting to let go, neither of them wanting to say goodbye. Crystal launching herself into Gigi’s arms in the middle of the airport, that familiar fire burning in Gigi’s chest. Home.

The group of eight made their way to Hunter’s jeep which seated five, and Gigi laughed as she realized just how tight the seating arrangement would have to be. Oh no. Oops.

“This is why I wanted you three to stay home,” Hunter said to Rosy, Rubber, and Symone who just mischievously grinned at Hunter.

“It’s okay! We can squeeze!” Rosy exclaimed.

“I WANNA SIT WITH GIGI!” Crystal burst out. Gigi just laughed and lifted her hand to run her fingers through Crystal’s curls.

“Good. Cause I have a surprise for you,” Gigi smirked as she pulled a pre roll out of her pocket. Crystal gasped, looking between Gigi and the joint. Could her smile get any bigger? Any brighter? Could she get any more beautiful?

“You’re the love of my LIFE GIGI GOODE!” Crystal laughed and immediately jumped into the jeep, Gigi closely following behind. Hunter was driving, with Rubber in shotgun on aux. Crystal and Gigi shared the window seat behind Hunter, Crystal practically on Gigi’s lap. Symone sat sandwiched between Lux and Daya, who were all silently shaking with laughter. Rosy pulled her knees to her chest, ducked her head, and sat on the floor, leaning against Symone and Daya’s legs.

A very safe seating arrangement, thank you very much.

When they were finally on the highway, Gigi lit the joint, holding it up to Crystal’s lips. When Rosy whined asking for a hit, Gigi just looked at her.

“Sorry Rosy, only people in the top three of RuPaul's Drag Race season 12 are allowed to smoke in the jeep,” Crystal replied easily. Everyone laughed, even Hunter, who had been trying to catch Gigi’s eye since they left the airport. Gigi knew he would give her shit later, knew he was cursing her in his head right now. But Crystal was so close, leaning over Gigi to blow smoke out of the window, wind whipping through her hair, a playful smirk on her face. So close. And Gigi couldn’t bring herself to care.

She was here. She was here. She was here.

Amsterdam

And so Crystal and Gigi were… friends again? Or they were trying to be. Jaida and Michelle had taken them all through Amsterdam, showing off their favorite spots and restaurants. Gigi had fallen completely in love with the tall, slanted buildings, leaning on each other like drunken sailors. Both Crystal and Gigi found themselves looking around the city in awe, crossing little bridges over the canal, the sun shining in their eyes.

It was alarmingly easy for them to fall back into their old habits, the two being attached at the hip again. Yes, they were still a bit hesitant. Crystal was different, Gigi couldn’t help but notice. But in a good way. She was much more confident, more sure of herself.

Gigi wondered if Crystal was thinking the same thing about her. Wondered if Crystal saw how much Gigi had grown up, how much she had transformed herself. She wanted Crystal to notice. Wanted Crystal to be impressed with her. And maybe she was noticing. Because every now and then Gigi would catch Crystal looking at her. But she’d never look away when they made eye contact. No. Instead, Crystal would shoot Gigi the biggest grin, eyes wild with excitement and wonder. And Gigi really had fallen in love with Amsterdam, her new favorite city.

Once Thursday hit though, Jaida made it very clear they were working Drag Queens now. On Saturday nights, they had a show at the Queen’s Head. Then a Sunday night drag show at Amstel54. On Tuesdays, they were hosting Drag Bingo at the Queen’s Head. Gigi knew Crystal was excited about that; it was one of her favorite gigs back in Springfield. Finally on Wednesday nights they had another drag show at Vrankrijk.

While Gigi would only work some weekends in L.A., she was excited to completely throw herself into drag nearly every day for two months. She just prayed her skincare routine was strong enough. She was also excited to meet all the Amsterdam queens. She had looked a lot of them up, along with binge watching Drag Race Holland, and knew they were all gonna get along fabulously.

So on Friday night, Crystal and Gigi shared a joint on the balcony and met Jaida and Michelle outside the coffeeshop.

“ARE YOU BITCHES READY TO GO?!” Jaida screamed when she saw them, a bright grin on her face. Gigi knew she’d been pregaming. “I can’t drive. I... cannot drive. And my Michelle is from New Jersey. So over my dead body is she driving. And I KNOW you two can’t drive. Gigi, you're a lightweight when it comes to weed and Crystal... I just don’t trust you driving the car. I know you too well. So I called an Uber!” Jaida grinned, and Michelle let out a cheer. Right on cue, the Uber pulled up, and they all climbed in. It was a pretty tight fit, considering they were all dressed up in bulky garments with big hair and in Crystal’s case, five pounds of jewelry. Gigi didn’t mind. Crystal sat between Gigi and Jaida, while Michelle sat shotgun, speaking fluent Dutch with the driver.

“What the fuck?” Gigi muttered, sharing a confused look with Crystal who was giggling.

“Michelle learned Dutch in quarantine. I don’t know why. She didn’t even know we were coming here when she learned it,” Jaida whispered, trying not to laugh.

“I’m trying to learn Spanish on Duolingo. I don’t... I don’t understand the sentences... they’re so weird,” Crystal commented, and the three dissolved into laughter in the backseat.

“Are you assholes talking about me?” Michelle turned around in her seat, shooting a playful grin to the back.

“NO!!” Crystal, Jaida, and Gigi yelled at the same time, doubled over in laughter. In five minutes, the car stopped, pulling up to the Queen’s Head. The street was so narrow, Gigi wasn’t sure if the car was technically allowed to be driving on it. It looked like a bike lane, just tall buildings and thin sidewalks on either side of the street. Jaida pointed towards the Queen’s Head, it was so small Gigi nearly missed it. But she could clearly see a white crown decal on the window, multiple rainbow flags hanging above the door.

“Cmon bitches! Let’s go!” Jaida grinned, leading them into the bar. The first thing Gigi could make sense of was all the red. Old, old red wallpaper, an old, glossy, cherry wooden bar. Deep, fluorescent red lights filled the room, with golden crystal chandeliers scattered throughout the bar . It was long and narrow, much like Gigi’s apartment. Much like everything in Amsterdam. There was a thin stage to the left, with glittery red curtains as a backdrop. And the bar was packed, bursting with energy. Gigi was immediately blown away.

Jaida led them downstairs, and into the smoking-room where a group of Drag Queens were sitting around. Gigi immediately recognized a few and realized these were the queens she would be working with for the whole summer. The queens immediately turned to them, letting out a cheer. Crystal and Gigi were pulled into the middle of the circle, being bombarded with hugs, kisses, and hurried introductions. Gigi wasn’t sure if they were speaking English or if she had just picked up the Dutch language really fast. After they had been passed around the circle, Jaida spoke up. “LADIES! I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO CRYSTAL METHYD AND GIGI GOODE!'' She exclaimed.

“OH you’re the queens who are dating, right?” One of the Dutch queens asked in English, her accent thick. Fuck. Gigi had forgotten about that. Luckily, Crystal swooped in, saving the day.

“We haven’t confirmed or denied anything. Gotta wait for All-Stars, you know?” Thank God for Crystal Methyd. Everyone laughed, and then they moved on, answering questions about how they liked the city, what area their apartment was in. Gigi got yelled at for not liking stroopwafel. And then, the show began. It was unlike anything Gigi had ever been to. Yes, she’d been to raging fun drag shows, but this was on another level. The crowd was electric, and it seemed as though a part of that electricity entered the queens, shocking them into giving the greatest performances Gigi had ever seen. There was lightning in the air when it came to the Amsterdam drag scene. And Gigi felt it.

When it was her turn to perform, she wasn’t nervous at all taking the stage. She was ready. As the opening notes to “Los Ageless” by St Vincent started playing, Gigi could already hear the crowd going crazy.

“In Los Ageless, the winter never comes. In Los Ageless, the mother's milk their young” Gigi lip-synced to the sultry song, collecting tips people in the crowd were already holding out for her. And there was Crystal, standing against the wall with Jaida, just watching Gigi fondly. But now wasn’t the time for Gigi to be distracted.

“How can anybody have you? How can anybody have you and lose you? How can anybody have you and lose you and not lose their minds, too?” Gigi had listened to this song so many times in the past year, driving through L.A. with Hunter, Rosy, and Symone. Thinking about... everything. Thinking about Crystal. Missing what could’ve been.

Gigi wished she had known about Crystal when she was choosing all the numbers for Amsterdam. And she soon found out that Crystal was feeling the exact same way. She took the stage, her song began, and Gigi immediately recognized it. Crystal used to play it every time Gigi gave her aux.

“Release me, release my body. I know it’s wrong, So why am I with you now? I say release me, Cause I’m not able to convince myself that I’m better off without you.” Gigi had laid in bed with Symone and Rosy countless nights, dissecting the song, “Release Me” by Agnes, wondering if Crystal thought about Gigi every time she listened to the song, the same way Gigi thought about her.

Crystal commanded the stage, entrancing everyone in the audience. Entrancing Gigi. And was Gigi crazy, or was Crystal really looking over at her every now and then, almost like she was serenading her? “I don’t know why I want you so. Cause I don’t need the heartbreak. I don’t know what addictive hold, you have on me I can’t shake”

What was this, fucking Glee?

Crystal finished her number to thunderous applause and joined Gigi at the bar. They sat in silence together for a moment, listening to Jaida and Michelle on stage.

“ALL RIGHT Y’ALL now I’m not much of a singer, but Miss Visage is. And we wanted to do something special for you tonight so...” Jaida trailed off, looking at Michelle.

“Plug your ears folks, Jaida and I are about to sing you a song!” Michelle cheered, and the karaoke track to “Nothing’s Gonna Stop us Now” by Starship started playing.

“Looking in your eyes I see a paradise. This world that I’ve found is too good to be true,” Jaida sang, and Gigi and Crystal couldn’t stop laughing. While Michelle had a stunning voice, Jaida’s singing had them both in stitches, tears in Crystal’s eyes. And once Jaida and Michelle started their impeccable choreo, Gigi had to grab Crystal’s arm so she wouldn’t fall out of her chair. Crystal’s hand met Gigi’s, and they just screamed their faces off for Michelle and Jaida. Then, Jaida did a dance move that made Crystal go absolutely wild, jumping out of her seat.

“SHE DID A JUST DANCE MOVE SHE DID A JUST DANCE MOVE!” Crystal yelled to Gigi, still holding her hand, doing the move over and over. And all Gigi could do was watch her, the biggest smile on her face. Gigi’s phone started to buzz, and she saw that Hunter was calling. With a shrug, she put down her phone and joined Crystal on the dance floor. And they were electric.

Los Angeles

Gigi was almost freaked out by how normal things were with Crystal. A part of her was nervous she’d make a fool out of herself, fawning over Crystal like an idiot. But the minute Gigi saw her at the top of the escalator in the airport, it was like they hadn’t been apart for nearly three months. It was like Gigi hadn’t spent every night missing Crystal, hoping she was thinking about her too. Because she was here.

Everyone adored Crystal, Lux, and Daya. Rosy always had the biggest grin on her face, sandwiched between Lux and Daya, laughing at everything they said. Symone was taking pictures of everything they did, sending them to Gigi at the end of the night, always saying the same thing. “I LOVE THESE BITCHES SO MUCH!” And Hunter made it his mission to learn everything about them, which Gigi was so grateful for. How did she not know Crystal was lactose intolerant? How did she not know she wanted to own a house in GERMANY? Gigi was a little concerned. How was she pining for someone she knew barely anything about? But with one look at Crystal, Gigi found she didn’t care. When she was with Crystal, everything made sense. Nothing else mattered. Because she was here.

She was here. She was here. She was here.

Of course, Gigi knew it was temporary. On Monday night Crystal would fly back to Missouri, and Gigi wouldn’t see her again until the Drag Race premiere. They had to make the most of these four days. So on Saturday night, after they finished another performance at one of the clubs In L.A., Gigi led the Get Dusted girls into the House of Avalon, and chaos ensued. What was a trip to L.A. without going to one of Avalon’s iconic house parties?

Daya immediately went for a bottle of tequila, pouring shots into her mouth. Of course, they had hotboxed Hunter’s jeep on the way back from the club, sharing another three spliffs. Gigi had never partied with Crystal like this before. She was radiant. Electric. Gigi could feel it.

Rosy was in the kitchen making vodka cranberries for her and Lux.

“Only the finest for us ladies!” Lux cheered, being pulled into a hug from Rosy. Hunter and Marko were setting up the dab rig, a Volcano. Symone was sipping at a white claw, occasionally taking a swig of Daya’s tequila. And Crystal went straight to the vodka, taking two double shots back to back, chasing them with a glass of Rosé.

“Holy fucking shit,” Gigi burst out laughing, wrapping an arm around Crystal. She turned facing Gigi, holding her in her arms.

“I like it!” Crystal grinned, eyes bright. Gigi was grinning too, completely enraptured by Crystal.

“What?” Gigi asked, leaning forward.

Crystal was leaning forward too.

Gigi’s body was on fire. Her hands, which had fallen to Crystal’s waist, were tingling. She couldn’t tell if this was because she was high, or because she was so close, so... golden. So close.

And then Crystal’s face was pressed into Gigi’s neck, and Gigi just prayed Crystal couldn’t feel her pulse, her heart was pounding so fucking fast. She also hoped Crystal’s makeup wouldn’t smudge. But she really didn’t care.

And then someone was tapping on her shoulder- Hunter, of course. He was holding the volcano bag out. Gigi shot him a dirty look, taking the bag. She took a hit, emptying half of it. As Gigi exhaled, all she could think was ‘don’t cough don’t cough don’t cough.’ Not in front of Crystal.

“OKAY GIGIIIIIII,” Crystal screeched, throwing her arms in the air, Rosé (not the Drag Queen. This is pre- season thirteen so i can’t even make a joke about her) dangerously splashing in its glass. Rosy, Lux, Symone, and Daya immediately started cheering, and all Gigi could do was smile, holding the volcano bag up to Crystal’s mouth.

She took a long hit, emptying the rest of the bag, blowing the smoke in Gigi’s face. She handed the bag back to Hunter and tried not to laugh at his bewildered expression as he slowly backed away with Marko, almost... impressed. Ha. “Are you gonna drink?” Crystal asked, holding her wine glass out to Gigi. Gigi chuckled, accepting a sip of the wine.

“I have a feeling I’m gonna have to take care of all of you. I like smoking better anyways,” she answered, smiling softly at Crystal. How was she so beautiful?

Was Gigi going to feel that fire burning in her chest every time she was with Crystal?

“Ohhhh okay. I like smoking better too,” Crystal was starting to get drunk. Her eyes were glazed over, a goofy smile on her lips. “I wish you woulda told me! I’d be... I’d be not drunk with you. I would. But I... I think it’s too late,” she giggled, and her laugh was contagious. Gigi joined, and they stood in the middle of the kitchen, just laughing in each other's arms.

As the night progressed, Crystal got drunker, Rosy’s laugh got louder, and Daya moved onto a second bottle of tequila, having poured most of its contents into all of the partygoers' mouths. Symone had crushed four more white claws and an undisclosed amount of shots from Daya’s tequila bottle, and Hunter and Marko had probably filled the volcano twenty times. Lux had gone to the bathroom sixteen times, taking a mirror selfie with everyone she’d seen in the bathroom. And Gigi... fell harder. She hadn’t known that was possible. But Crystal was just so damn funny and happy and bright. And once she had finished her second White Claw, Crystal was completely unhinged. “I WANNA PLAY JUST DANCE! I WANNA PLAY JUST DANCE! HUNTER!! HUNTER GET THE JUST DANCE!” she yelled, running through the house, Gigi laughing in her trail.

“I... I’m sorry, Crystal. We don’t have Just Dance,” Hunter said kindly while Marko silently laughed behind him, shoulders shaking. Crystal just gaped at him for a moment, before turning around to look at Gigi.

“Oh...” she was disappointed, and Gigi couldn’t help but feel bad. And then Crystal’s face lit up again. “I still know the moves!” She exclaimed, and started doing what Gigi could only guess were Just Dance moves. Rosy saw her first and rushed over to join Crystal. Symone, Lux, and Daya followed, dancing around Crystal, arms in the air. “GIGI DANCE WITH ME!!!” Crystal laughed, holding her hand out. Gigi immediately took it, allowing Crystal to pull her into the dance... clump. The Just Dance party? “Twirl baby, twirl!” Crystal cheered, twirling Gigi under her arm. Her face was on fire, and the floor was crackling with electricity, and Gigi didn’t know where her body ended and where Crystal’s began.

And maybe she never wanted to find out.

Gigi didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the loud music. Maybe it was the dabs. Maybe Gigi just didn’t care. But something gave her the courage to lean forward, lips brushing against Crystal’s ear to whisper.

“You know we could always be like this?”

Amsterdam

Over the next few days, Gigi really started to feel at home in Amsterdam. She was having the time of her life, venturing further out, really getting to see everything the city has to offer. And by her side was Crystal, with Jaida and Michelle trailing behind, sunglasses on, cackling about the dumbest thing. Gigi loved it. Life was just better in Amsterdam. She loved going into random restaurants with Michelle and ordering takeout to bring back to Jaida’s apartment, where the four of them would sit around the small table, passing all the different food around.

“It’s like... Dutch food roulette,” Jaida wiped tears away from her eyes after spitting out some herring. “I don’t care for that fish,” she squirmed, sipping her drink. Everyone around the table just laughed. One day, Gigi did a museum crawl with Jaida while Michelle and Crystal took a cruise around the canals together, mimosas in hand. Jaida was surprisingly a geek going to all the museums, stopping to read every sign, discussing every exhibition in detail with Gigi, who really just liked looking at the cool sculptures and pretty paintings. But she pretended to care for Jaida because she owed her. It was easier to breathe in Amsterdam. Everything just... made sense. She knew she was meant to be there, growing into someone new, someone better.

“I told you, Hunter. Amsterdam is still my fresh start. Crystal isn’t gonna… uproot everything. All that shit we went through... it forced me to grow so much. I’ve got this! Amsterdam is about me taking a small break before my next big chapter, and where I’m going to start anew. It’s not about… like… I know I said I wanted to find my old self again, or whatever. But I was so young, so… I don’t know. I’m happier now. Why would I want to go back to who I was before?” Gigi was FaceTiming with Hunter while removing her makeup after the Sunday night show. Hunter was at a noisy 4th of July BBQ, screaming kids and adults alike running around behind him.

“It was never about going back to who you were, Gigi. It’s just… you finally found your joy again. We all saw it. And I was so happy because I had missed it. A lot. And I’m just worried that something is gonna happen and you’re gonna lose that joy again. But I trust you. And you do look happier, I see it. I’m happy for you, kid. Just...” Hunter trailed off.

“I know,” Gigi lied. “I’ve got this. I don’t see her all that much outside of work and meals anyways,” Why did she have to throw that in? “Alright, I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll talk to you soon, bye bitch!” Gigi hung up, blowing Hunter a kiss. She quickly went to the bathroom, taking a short shower. Once Gigi was changed, she heard the familiar sound of Crystal stepping out onto the balcony. She counted to ten, and like clockwork, her phone buzzed.

Crystal Methyd: come smokeeeeeee.

And then, like clockwork, Gigi counted to ten and joined Crystal on the balcony.

“Hi!” Crystal grinned the minute Gigi stepped outside.

“Hello,” Gigi said in a singsong voice, and fuck she was smiling too.

“I can’t believe it’s the Fourth of July. Like I don’t care about America at all but... Fourth of July picnics are pretty iconic with my family. There’s always drama, I’m always messy drunk, it’s just the best time,” Crystal took a long drag from the joint, handing it to Gigi as she exhaled.

“I know what you mean. I was FaceTiming Hunter, and he was at a barbecue. There were asshole kids running around with sparklers, and I could see some sixteen-year-olds trying to sneak beer out of the cooler and... I don’t know,” Gigi said, looking out at the canal as she took a hit. And she could feel Crystal softly smiling at her.

Gigi tried to shove down the burning fire in her chest, but it was just as bright as Crystal's eyes, bigger than her smile. And as that familiar buzzing feeling returned to Gigi’s head, making everything seem heavier but lighter at the same time, she found that no part of her wanted the fire to go away. And that terrified her. But now Crystal was standing, leaning against the balcony, looking out at the city.

Maybe she was scared too.

“What are you thinking?” Gigi’s voice was barely above a whisper. Crystal turned to look at her, the lights from Amsterdam behind her casting a soft glow around her body.

“Well, you brought up Hunter and I’m just thinking about... when I came to L.A. To see you. I remember in November, I got all the memories from the trip, and... it felt worlds away. Like some dream I was trying to remember. But being with you is bringing everything back and it’s... it’s a lot,” Crystal admitted, and god she was beautiful. “Like, how did you guys not have Just Dance? That should be illegal,” her face split into a grin, and Gigi burst out laughing.

“It didn’t even matter! You knew all the moves, you fucking loser,” she said between laughs, and now Crystal was laughing too, falling back into her chair.

“That trip was so fun. Lux and Daya loved you guys so much. And I just completely fell in love with Rosy and Symone and everyone else,” Crystal was smiling fondly, and it took Gigi right back to those four days in LA with her, nearly two years ago. Crystal came to LA and there was no turning back for Gigi. Her heart picked Crystal and never let go, no matter how hard she tried.

They sat on the balcony for what felt like hours, talking about the L.A. trip, remembering all of the dumb shit they got up to. “And then Symone was pushing me on the swings, and Daya joined, and they did an underdog and it WAS SO SCARY I WENT SO HIGH!” Crystal exclaimed, and Gigi could see it clearly in her mind, hiding on top of the slide while Lux and Rosy tried to sit on top of the monkey bars, dangerously swaying as they tried to get comfortable. Crystal screaming, flying in the air. “The minute I found out that Hunter and Marko had a playground in their backyard, I never wanted to leave. I didn’t want to leave L.A. I didn’t want to leave you,” Crystal was smiling, but her eyes were sad, and Gigi’s chest ached.

“I know,” she murmured, giving Crystal a sad smile. There was so much to be said, but they both stayed silent, just looking out across the city, passing their second joint of the night back and forth. And then Gigi saw it.

The sun was finally starting to peek over the horizon, swirls of orange and pink started to brighten the hazy clouds. The gulls were back in full force, flying through the sky and cawing as if it was their job to wake the whole city up. The sunlight was soft and golden, slowly casting a glow over the balcony.

“What’s up with us and sunrises?” Crystal let out a soft laugh, and Gigi just turned to look at her.

“We could say that about a lot of things, Miss Crystal Elizabeth,” Gigi pointed out, and Crystal playfully rolled her eyes.

“Shut up,” she muttered. Gigi just laughed, and they sat on their Amsterdam balcony, watching the sunrise over the city. “It’s almost as pretty as Venice beach. Almost.”

Los Angeles

It was about 5 a.m. when the party finally started to die down. Rosy and Lux had fallen asleep on an armchair together, a half-eaten piece of pizza in Lux’s hand. Symone and Daya were sitting together in the kitchen, trying to throw Chex mix into an abandoned solo cup. Hunter and Marko sat together, passing Hunter’s vape back and forth, just chatting with each other about nothing in particular. And then there was Crystal and Gigi, sitting together on the couch, leaning on each other. Gigi looked at the group of their friends. It was clear that the Get Dusted girls showed no intention of leaving anytime soon.

“You know... I bet no one would even notice if we left,” Crystal whispered to Gigi. Gigi’s heart dropped as if those weren’t the exact words she had prayed Crystal would say all night.

“Let’s go,” Gigi grinned. And so they walked out of the house, trying to draw as little attention to themselves as possible. Hunter gave Gigi a pointed look, but she ignored it. Luckily, Gigi’s house was right across from the House of Avalon. She had sobered up quite a lot by now, but Crystal hadn’t. She clutched onto Gigi’s arm and looked up at the sky as they walked down the street. It was a clear night, with no clouds in the sky. The street was dark, peaceful. Crystal stumbled slightly, falling into Gigi. “Hey, be careful,” Gigi giggled. Crystal kept smiling up at the sky, and Gigi swore she could hear her heart pounding so loud, the sound amplified by the empty street.

“But look, the stars are out,” Crystal said, pointing up at the sky.

“Yeah. They are.” They made it to Gigi’s driveway, but it was clear that Crystal had no intention of heading inside just yet.

“Geege...?” Crystal asked, a bright smile on her face.

“Do you want to go drive around?” Gigi asked, reading Crystal’s mind. Crystal was already running to get in Gigi’s car. Gigi took a moment to let the butterflies in her stomach calm down before joining Crystal.

“Can we go to Venice Beach? Like in Starstruck?” Crystal asked, words slurring.

“We can go wherever you’d like Crystal Elizabeth,” Gigi said, starting the car. “But you should know, I’m a terrible fucking driver.” Crystal laughed.

“This is gonna be fun.” They started the drive, and Crystal hooked her phone up to AUX. Immediately, “Midnight Memories” by the world famous band One Direction started blasting through the car speakers. Crystal cheered. Gigi reminded herself that she should be watching the road, not Crystal, but that didn’t stop her from stealing glances.

Crystal had rolled her window down, letting the wind blow through her curls as she leaned out. Crystal screamed along with the lyrics, her voice cracking terribly. Gigi watched as Crystal held her hand out the window, tracing the sky, the stars shining in her eyes. Could life get any better than this? Gigi driving a drunk Crystal to Venice Beach at four in the morning, watching as she made the world hers.

Maybe Gigi wasn’t as sober as she thought, or maybe Crystal just had that effect on Gigi. Crystal made Gigi feel... she just couldn’t put it into words. She made Gigi feel comfortable, safe, but at the same time, wild and brave like nothing was impossible. Because truly, Gigi thought nothing was impossible with Crystal at her side. She admired Crystal so much that she nearly went off the road.

“Gigi!” Crystal squealed. They both screamed as Gigi panicked, correcting the car.

“I’m sorry!” Gigi said.

“Gigi!” Crystal yelled.

“I’m sorry!” Gigi giggled.

“Gigi!” Crystal laughed, grabbing onto Gigi’s arm. They laughed together, so hard that Gigi’s ribs ached. Crystal’s hand found its way from Gigi’s arm to her hand, lacing their fingers together. Gigi tried to ignore how well they fit. “I missed you so much,” Crystal blurted. “I didn’t know what to do with myself for the first week. A thought would pop into my head and I would go to tell you, I’d stand up to knock on your door and I’d remember... like, oh she’s not here. It was just... I don’t know it just sucked,” Crystal whispered. Gigi’s heart was pounding. She didn’t even want to think about how it would feel to say goodbye to Crystal again. It couldn’t be worse than last time, right?

“Believe me, I know,” Gigi said, squeezing Crystal’s hand. Soon enough, the ocean came into view. There were a few people walking on the street, a few people using the bike path, but other than that they were alone. Crystal looked out the window, admiring the view. The sound of crashing waves echoed through the empty streets, harmonizing with the sound of the car stopping.

“Can we go on the beach?” Crystal asked. “Missouri is landlocked so I never go to beaches.”

“Of course, I should have a blanket in the back,” Gigi said. She grabbed the blanket and draped it over her and Crystal’s shoulders, each holding one side. They stumbled through the sand together, struggling to keep their footing and holding onto each other for support. They finally made it about 20 feet from the shoreline when they decided to lay out the blanket and sit. The waves rolled in, then out, then in again. Gigi breathed in the ocean air, letting it clear her lungs. They made it just in time, the sun had just started to rise. Crystal rested their head on Gigi’s shoulder as the morning sun reflected in her eyes.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Crystal whispered drowsily. Gigi rested her head on top of Crystal’s, it was nice. Crystal fell asleep five minutes later, laying back on the blanket, Gigi laid back with her. She watched as the sky turned purple, to pink, to gold. The Avalon and Dusted Girls probably knew they were gone by now, they would have a lot to say when they got back, Gigi was sure of it.

But she just laid there, playing with Crystal’s hair as she slept, watching the sky turn blue. Hunter could wait. The Get Dusted Girls could wait. The universe could wait. Gigi had a moment alone with Crystal, and she was going to cherish every second. So there they sat at Venice Beach, just letting the world spin around them. Crystal blinked awake a few minutes later, blinded by the sun.

“Gigi?” Crystal said, rolling over to face her..

“You dozed off for a second there, you missed the sunrise,” Gigi whispered, tucking Crystal’s messy curls behind her ear.

“Oh. W...was it pretty?” Crystal asked.

“Yes. Very pretty,” Gigi giggled. Crystal scooted closer to Gigi, burying her head in the crook of Gigi’s neck as if she knew that was Gigi’s weakness.

“I’m just gonna...sleep for another five... then we can...” Crystal dozed off again. Gigi wrapped a hesitant arm around Crystal. The universe could wait.

#gigi goode #Crystal Methyd #crystal methyd x gigi goode #crygimethydgoode #crygi #fanfic #fanfic rec #drag queen fanfic #crygi fanfic #rpdr12 #RuPaul Drag Race #RPDR #Lover’s Fantasia #please read this we promise you’ll love it

3 notes · View notes

darlingdtarot · 3 years

Text

8/8/2021 - New Moon In Leo Rituals & Horoscopes For All Signs

The New Moon is here again to remind us to let go of ideas that no longer serve us. It's about wiping the slate clean and setting intention on the rest of the month. Are you excited to start a new chapter? Each sign is going to experience new heights of happiness, emotional security, and financial bliss. It might not always be easy, but it will always be worth it. This is a great time to show off your confident side and get into a deeper level of Self-Expression. You are called to feel more confident in your own skin and as the amazing individual you are. There is truly only one you on this entire planet – embrace that! Those that are going through quarantines again, or just find themselves in the house more often, wear those fancy outfits in your closet that has been catching dust! Get it out, dust off your nicest shoes, and get dolled up. You don't need an excuse to feel good about yourself, Darling. Now is a great time to take pictures for social media as well, as the sign's physical attractiveness will be heightened during this Leo New Moon. Follow your passions and hobbies too, as it's important to express your creativity.

Working on manifestations will be amazing during this time as well, so make sure to be utilizing the Law Of Attraction! This could be through Manifestation Journals, Meditations, or Vision Boards. Making a Vision Board by cutting out images and pasting them onto a piece of paper or a literal poster-board will help you manifest easier as it will focus your mind each day on visualizing your goals and desires. You got this!

Rituals that you can do during the Leo New Moon:

Along with the upcoming changing of leaves (depending on where you live), us too are going through a change during this New Moon to leave behind what no longer serves us. Yellow and Red are really important colors during this New Moon, as it symbolizes Confidence, Self-Fulfillment, Expression, Self-Comfort, and Joy. You can wear these colors throughout the month leading up to the Full Moon for added luck.

A Spiritual Bath might be something that would be wonderful to be implemented. You can add flowers, herbs, essential oil, bathing salts, and/or crystals to make the perfect spiritual cleanse. Sunflower scented candles are going to be very important as well – so if you're needing a new smell for the month, this will be a great time to utilize Sunflower Candles for manifestation! There are other scents as well that are just as important over this time.

Scents / Flowers You Can Utilize:

Lemon

Sunflower

Lemongrass

Dandelion

Crystals To Charge During The New Moon in Leo:

Yellow Aventurine

Citrine

Honey Calcite

Golden Hematoid

Amber

Carnelian

Tigers Eye

Leave these on a towel in a windowsill on the night of the New Moon to charge in the energy. The next day, place the crystals near your bath as you take it – or near your bed / in your purse for added optimism and comfort throughout the month. Remember that not all crystals can be put in the water, so make sure to look it up before you dip them in! If your crystal is water-hardy, you can place it directly into the bath as you soak.

For those that have gardens, consider planting wild flowers, sunflowers, gladiolus, etc. (Depending on where you are!)

Horoscopes for Each Sign and Element over the New Moon in Taurus:

Please make sure to check your Sun, Moon, Rising, and Venus Signs as you might resonate more with their energies. :)

EARTH: Ace Of Wands – Earth Signs are going to feel renewed and as if the fires of their passions are finally alight again. You're going to be receiving a lot of messages and ideas during this time, so trust what you come up with as creativity is going to be through the roof. If you have craft supplies that you haven't touched in a while, Earth Signs, get ready to start crafting. The energy this Leo New Moon is bringing in for you will help you to soar and reach greater heights within your hobbies, workplace, and imagination. Others will feel compelled to pick up an instrument that has been laying around catching dust for a while. Express yourself! Some Earth Sign's might start feeling compelled to play the field and date around a little to see what's out there – go for it! Remember to wear protection though if you aren't planning on getting pregnant during this time of reignited passions!

Virgo: The Star – Virgos are going to be feeling more hopeful over this New Moon in Leo. You might have felt a bit downtrodden or as if everything were spoiled, but now it's finally coming back together. It's a relief in so many ways, because after being told for so long that you'd be okay, you're finally starting to see things 'Getting Better'. It was something that took a while, but peace of mind is here to stay for the rest of the year, Virgo. Rest assured on THAT. Clarity will also be coming to those that have asked for a sign recently in regards to a situation you're stuck on. It's as if the Universe is finally handing you the new pair of glasses that you had ordered and had been waiting on. You'll be able to see things crystal clear, and in a way that you might not have before. Can we say Perspective Shift? Virgos, remember to take care of yourself too! Spiritual baths are SO important during this time period! Drinking coconut water and bathing with coconut scented washes will be vital right now as it will cleanse you.

Taurus: 10 Of Wands – You're overworking and overloading yourself with chores and things to do, Taurus. Over this New Moon in Leo you're trying to take on too much. I keep hearing Spirit saying, “You're Biting Off More Than You Can Chew”. As proud as Spirit is that you're wanting to conquer the world and take on as much as you can – They want you to remember that the name of the game right now is to pace yourself and take your time on the tasks in front of you. Rome wasn't built overnight, so stop making yourself go on endlessly like a workhorse. Yes, you're in the homestretch, but that is even more of a reason to take your time with tying up those loose ends. Work Smarter – Not Harder. For other Taurus that are taking on their friend's and family's responsibilities – you're being asked to focus on yourself as opposed to trying to fit in one more task to appease someone else. Instead of taking on those side missions right now, why not follow your main story-line for a bit? There's no harm in saying no every now and again; especially with all that you already do for those around you. For one Taurus in particular, you cook and clean for those around you constantly without praise or recognition. It's almost expected of you to drop your entire life just to do that. Again – it's okay to say no, or just to decide to order take-out for the night.

Capricorn: Queen Of Wands - Capricorn's are being asked during this New Moon period to use your passions wisely. Now is the time to really put your mind to what you want to accomplish as it's going to fall into your lap quicker than you expect. The World really IS your Oyster, Capricorn, Remember that! Some are embarking on brand new business ideas. I'm seeing for some starting a new Bakery, a local Shop in your town, or an online store with products unique to you and your calling. There is something very niche about what you do, Capricorn, and you're excited to corner the market with your ideas. You might be looking into business licenses, copyright, and trademarking. You're deciding what the best way to tackle your dreams would be – and if anyone can do it, Capricorn – it's you! Your business oriented mind will focus brilliantly at the task at hand, so make sure to trust your instincts here. It really is a case of You Knowing What's Best. Trust that you have what it takes to achieve your goals. You're brilliant, you Sea Goat, you.

AIR: 8 Of Pentacles – Wow, Air Signs! You're focusing on getting to work right now, as you know that whatever you're putting your mind to is going to be abundant and successful. You're feeling energized to get to work, which is a welcomed change compared to the last few weeks where you have been feeling tired and drained. So long to energies of exhaustion or frustration – you're headed towards smooth sailing now! And rightfully so, if you ask me! You're ready to put in the work! I keep hearing Spirit saying, “The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Oil”, so you might decide to focus on things that you feel have been put off for way too long. They can no longer be ignored, they have to be taken care of now. For some this might have been projects that you procrastinated on, a cabinet you never fixed, or a leak in a pipe ; now is the time to attend to these things! Putting yourself on your grind is going to be incredibly influential during this time, so make sure not to hold yourself back!

Gemini: Death – Wow, Gemini! Things are changing for you on a molecular level. You might have felt it coming for a long time now, but you're starting to become more open to the idea of endings and change. You're deciding what you want to stay in your life and what you know needs to go. For some that are leaving a situation, perspective, or relationship behind, you're feeling excited to be starting on a new chapter in your life. It's as if you've grown tired of reading that same story over and over again and you're ready to take on another book entirely. You're the main character and now you're really starting to recognize it. Take those risks and go on those adventures, Gemini. I'm hearing, “Life Is Too Short To Not Do What You Love”. Make sure that you're taking that into consideration today as you go forward, Gemini! Only go towards the things that you know feel right to your story-line!

Libra: 2 Of Wands – Libra's are going to be faced with a choice over this New Moon. Do they embark on something different than they've always known? Or do they decide to stay the course and continue down the path that might have not worked out so well in the past? Regardless of what you choose, this is a time of starting over fresh. The New Moon will bring brand new energies your way that will feel brilliant, vibrant, and uplifting. You'll be inspired to go down the route less traveled, but give yourself the space to do so. Be brave, Libra! Some of the best things are worth the risk! For other's, you're deciding to go down a new career or academic path that you know will bring you to your ultimate happiness. Don't put yourself on the back burner and go towards it! Regardless of what others have to say, you know best. (AKA don't listen to your Great Aunt Linda saying, “But you were supposed to be a Lawyer!” If you weren't happy in that field, that's all that's needed to be said.)

Aquarius: Strength – Aquarius, you're really channeling your inner strength right now to go the distance. You might have been applying yourself more recently to your career or the environment around you, which has been making you feel as if you either need everything on a time constraint or you need to take every little thing seriously. Spirit is telling you it's okay to lighten up and let your hair down. For some I'm also hearing, “Comfortable And Functional Can Still Be Fashionable”. Other Aquarians are feeling more comfortable expressing their emotions too as you're letting yourself be more vulnerable during this time. You're feeling affectionate and sentimental, craving more attention and love during this time. You might find yourself craving connection with others – and wanting to meet new people. Those in relationships are going to take their time more to understand their partner's and their own individual feelings, which will lead to more common ground. Now is the time for emotional healing and understanding!

WATER: The Magician – Water Signs you are being asked to trust your natural abilities as they are a gift. You have all the resources that you need in front of you to accomplish your aspirations. For some I am sensing that there was competition in a workplace environment. Spirit is showing me someone starting a candle business, only for another person to then follow suit. It's out of jealousy and spite, and not something you need to concern yourself with. Copycat energy is really strong here. Water Signs are manifesting right now on such a high level, that they can be expected to have a harvest in soon. For some you might be bringing in a romantic partner, new financial growth, or new opportunities. You'll be excited to see things that you wished for coming true. I keep hearing someone saying, “This Is Exactly What I Asked For, But Better!” Things are working out in your favor, Water Signs. Keep putting in intention and give it some time – it will pay off.

Cancer: The Emperor – Cancer's are really harnessing their Divine Masculine energies and feeling determined to take the bull by the horns over the Leo New Moon. Leo ignites your need for self-expression and freedom within your passions at this time. You're not letting anyone hold you back or put you down any longer – you know what you deserve and need. You're really starting to feel in your element, and you're wondering why you didn't realize you could accomplish this sooner. (“There's Nothing Holding Me Back” by Shawn Mendes energy here strong!) With the number 8 being so strong and prevalent within the month and the day, it really emphasizes the fact that there is a lot of forward movement going on. You're tired of playing it small and not going home with a good prize. “Go Big Or Go Home” is what I keep hearing for you, Cancer.

Pisces: The Empress – Pisces, you're going to be embracing your Divine Feminine energies in the most beautiful of ways. You'll be nurturing both yourself and those around you. You're giving yourself room to grow and consider other avenues of creation. Pisces, you might start to notice that your peers and new acquaintances want to open up to you and tell you their entire life stories. Let them – you never know where you might gain a little bit of insight on your own life while helping another. Trust your intuition during this time too, because your spiritual abilities will be heightened during this New Moon. Pisces might notice seeing more shadows, shapes, or spiritual messages. Don't fear; you're protected, loved, and divinely guided. You might feel guided towards getting more plants for your home – go for it! Bring nature in!

Scorpio: Ace Of Pentacles – A prosperous new beginning is yours, Scorpio! This is going to be the stable, firm, and financially free foundation that you always dreamed of. This is something that you have been manifesting for a long time. You might have had blockages in regards to money, but your luck is changing now. For some Scorpio's you'll be receiving a job offer from a friend. This friend could have a short, brown bob haircut, and they're going to be very excited over the idea of working with you. Take this offer seriously as it will provide so much excitement and comfort into your life! Other's will notice that there are going to be an influx of interviews and job offers over all. I am also hearing that while you work at your new job, you will be provided with more chances to travel as well, Scorpio. Go for it! You deserve it for how much work you've put in.

FIRE: The Wheel Of Fortune – A lucky period of time is coming into your life, Fire Signs. Are you ready to embrace this exciting turn of events? It's going to be a wild ride, so buckle in! You're going to notice that your luck is changing for the better. This is going to make you feel inspired to take large leaps of faith into a brand new lifestyle. No more small potatoes, Fire Signs. You're ready for the wheels of fate to finally turn in your favor after a long period of feeling shut out in the cold by the Universe. After a perspective shift, you're understanding how lucky and talented you are – and gaining a new perspective of gratitude for life. I keep hearing as well that Fire Signs are going to have the Mitas Touch, where everything they touch will turn to gold. Now is a brilliant time to focus on academic and financial goals. Why not make a Vision Board of everything that you want to bring in over the next year, Fire Signs?

Leo: Judgment – You're closing up Karmic Cycles and breaking Ancestral Curses, Leo. It isn't always easy to have to do this, but it is something that has to happen in order for you to get to the next level. It's okay to feel frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed during this time. Feel your emotions and express them to those around you as they are your Soul Family, and they genuinely want to help you in any way that they can. Leos are also going to be realizing who is actually in their corner. I am hearing that for a few Leos, you're going to understand that someone you thought was there for you no matter what, never really had your back to begin with. Process the pain, grieve the loss of a friend, and continue forward knowing you are doing your best every day. Some Leo's are understanding and identifying longstanding self-sabotaging energies and are deciding to nip it in the bud. Good for you, Leo!

Sagittarius: The Devil – Sagittarius might be dealing with some mental worries and anxieties. The Universe is wanting you to lighten your mental load and decompress some. It's okay to have some alone time just focusing on your relaxation. You don't need to always be on the go or doing something, Sagittarius. Even in different Mythologies and religions the God's took rest – set aside this idea that you don't deserve some rest and relaxation. Other's might be struggling with addictions, but you're going to find it easier over the next few months to distance yourself from self-sabotaging tendencies or toxic patterns. Good for you, Sagittarius! I'm proud of you for recognizing what in your life isn't fulfilling you anymore – and for wanting better going forward. Some in toxic relationships are being asked to take some time to travel or be away from this person to get a clear head on what it means to be healthier by yourself. (You will feel a LOT lighter without this individual around)

Aries: The Tower – There is a major shake-up in your life emerging, Aries! Don't feel scared or intimidated by this, as it's actually a great thing! This is to realign you with where you actually have to be. Spirit is showing me an image of a dog on a leash, getting wrapped around a tree while running while it's owner is frantically trying to unwrap them and saying “No, This Way, Honey!” The Universe is untangling you from a messy situation, and it's going to be for the better. Whether this be through an unexpected job or opportunity loss, a move, or something that you see as unfortunate; it might just be a new opportunity to start over fresh. Now's your chance to turn a new leaf and go towards a firmer foundation for yourself. Some Aries might realize the connections (both platonic and romantic) aren't the healthiest for you. A friend might decide to betray your trust or kindness. You're being asked to let this rug be pulled out from under your feet, so a newer one can be set in it's place. After all, when one door closes – another one opens.

5 notes · View notes

zhonglishrine · 4 years

Text

God is Good and never Evil

Pairing: Reader x Fyodor Dostoevsky Word Counts: 5k Note: There’s a lot of heavy context in this with religion and too much unnecessarily philosophy talk of Good and Evil. Originally from my fanfic that I have unpublished and now were revised as stand alone one-shot instead. Credits to my friends Negin, Mel and @soukokuwu for helping me proofread this one and everyone else who helped me with the definition of Good and Evil!

He always thought that he was complicated and no one could understand him. It might be difficult, yes, but not impossible, if you could catch up to the level of his intelligence. But that might also prove to be challenging, as no one actually knows what goes in that genius head but Fyodor himself. He appeared hard to predict and read, and trying to figure him out will only wear you out in futile attempts as he is always three steps ahead of everything, and that’s how he believed himself to be: superior and above everyone else.

Where was he?

Just as you were running out of places to look, you figured out where he might be. If he wasn’t in his private library reading his massive collection of books, then he would be inside his music room, spending time alone with his mind while playing his dear cello. He always spends his time thinking about various things; about the world he wants to cleanse and simple things that he came across in his martyr. You know your dear Fedya, he is an excessively meticulous man- perfection is what he always strives for and no mistakes are permitted. Sometimes when in doubt he would go back just to make sure everything went according to plan. Despite his overbearing confidence, he bites his thumb until it bleeds, and the gnawing exhaustion shown on his face when he is deprived of sleep after staying awake for several days straight, lets you know how fragile he still is.

After all, no matter how grandiose his claims are to you and how ridiculous they might sound, he is still a mortal being. No God would bleed and no God would need rest like he does, because isn’t God supposed to be all perfect? He still has his limits, though you always want to remind him not to push his frail body too much. How little he would bite off his loaf of bread, simply adequate to satiate his hunger and no more, his body emaciated day by day with the little care he put. However, Fyodor doesn't like it when he is reminded of those petty things, and so most of the time he prefers to be left alone. No words are spoken on the topic, but you know; he doesn’t need to explain every single basic detail for you to know. He knows what he is doing and needs no mothering from you or anyone else. He can actually be a bit childish and immature sometimes, and that's a trait he didn’t even realize he had; flaws that he didn’t want to admit but you noticed.

He is still a young man, too young to shoulder all the rest of the world’s sin, but he took the matter into his own hands and let it be soaked and tainted in blood of his sacrifices and fallen victims within his act of mercy.

Entering his room, a tray in your hands with a glass and ferrous sulfate tablets for him to take, you carefully tread your steps forward, not making any audible noise to disturb his moment of quietude.

The tranquil and calm tune overflows like an external heartbeat with each rhythm, and the volume crescendo in sweet vibrations octave to your hearing ears. His nimble and deft movements on the instrument play ever so gracefully, creating the heavenly sounds that soothe your quivering heart.

There are no words present, but every dance of his slender fingers on each string manifest their own poetry, and it guides you to an ode to his own universe. He changes his pace and tone, sometimes quick and sometimes it becoming slow, his eyes shut closed as his delicate hand moves the bow, scraping the hair against the string as he angles it differently. His raven tresses draped around his pale complexion follow his movements as he tilts his head with the tempo, his legs spread and toes curling the more he gets into it. He was in his own world and he is sending you an auditory message through your mind, telling you the unspoken journey he has gone through in his pilgrimage, inviting you to join him sail over the oceans of tunes that filled the grandeur ambiance in rapt silence, like he was the captain of his ship and you were his crew.

When it is faint and low – he is feeling sorrow and sadness.

When it is heavy and strong – he is feeling regret and remorse.

When it is high-pitched and piercing – he is feeling angry and furious.

When it is gentle and soft – he is feeling bliss and a sense of gratefulness.

There are so many emotions he conveys through the cello that rests against his frame on his left shoulder, as if he was lamenting alone from the exuberant song that he orchestrates. Akin to how waves would crash through the shore and saturate every breach lying within the grains of sand, it rushes to fill your hollow soul. This tide continues to flourish, seeping into your veins and healing you like a divine medicine with the superfluous melody as you continue to watch and listen in great trance, almost as though you were spellbound by it. There's just something about how Fyodor can make it sing and scream so beautifully it’s so painful to hear.

Just what is this...?

Why...why have you started to cry...?

Your hand clutches at your chest, clenching down. Why does it hammer so painfully inside your ribcage? It was as if the music was the exact voice that you have long since lost. Your throat burns in quietness and your vision becomes blurry with a dot of crystal pearl, until it drops and becomes a small rivulet staining your cheek. In the equilibrium of each note he plays, it tells a different story. A story that you felt as if you were a part of it. From the beginning of birth, soft and calm, it portrays the innocence of a newborn baby that you are. Then, it starts to pace up slightly, the progress of your life. As you grow, you face struggle and hardship in life, and it starts to go faster. A lot of details then take place, you experience a variety of emotions like a crashing wave, you make a decision and you sin through your voyage. And at the end, it becomes slow again, life becomes slower and the flame that ignites you starts to dim until it eventually extinguishes as you take your last breath.

Just like the music that grows ever so faint, it eventually fades by the end of the bow that caresses against the string before it departs.

Fyodor opens his eyelids, revealing a pool of his violet orbs with a crescent shaped illumination within, soon after a stillness encompassing the air with serenity. He flutters his lashes, his gaze landing on you as you still stand with a tray in your hand before him. Your glossy eyes sparkle like rubies before the dull brightness of the candlelight, and you simply keep on staring at him with never-ending tears. At this, Fyodor curves the corner of his lips to form a thin smile, then speaking to break the silence, "Tell me... what do you think of Good and Evil?"

Fumbling with your thoughts, you thrive to answer the sudden inquiry with your muddled mind. Fyodor plays another classical piece of music to fill the gap in the meanwhile. Perhaps it was from Tchaikovsky, Prokofiev, Rachmaninoff or from someone else entirely. You weren’t sure which one, since he knew many different famous composers, but that is not important to guess right now.

"Good is..." You begin, ransacking your brain to formulate your thought and remember what the definition of the concept is. There are many standards for good and evil around the world as noted by philosophers throughout history, and it differs with each religion that exists, but for the basic definition of it, then they are almost about the same. It is akin to two notes in the same symphony. Each thing in nature changes according to the opposites; like hard ice melts into water which is then soft, the combination resulting in a harmonious whole. Just like how it is in music, harmony results from the combination of low and high notes, while in our universe harmony flows from the combination of the opposites that are good and evil.

"Having the moral and compassion to do the right thing. And evil is the opposite, it is wicked and in all immoral sense.”

Fyodor raises his brow slightly, hearing rather a short reply from you. "But if I do evil deeds for the greater goods of mankind, what does that make me? Do you think evil is not necessary after all?" He counters your statement, and you know exactly what he means by it, as he planned to wipe away all ability users from this world. Regardless of races, genders, and ages. There could be an innocent child that never did any bad deed, there could be an old man waiting for his last breath, there could be a woman who never knows they have the ability. Regardless of the sacrifices he shall make; he will still make his goal come true without any sparing mercy and treat them all equally. Like plucking the weeds before they grow wild in his garden or trim the one that has wilt.

“I am not sure about that. But isn't evil supposed to only bring harm?”

Fyodor subtly chuckled, and you were unsure whether he agreed or not.

“Then I will have to ask you something. Do you like scorpions and snakes?”

Again, when he is in the mood to indulge himself with these sorts of discussions and questions, he always asks the strangest thing and you always have to dissect the meaning behind it, whether he was thinking about it or it is just something random that crossed his mind.

“Well, I don’t really dislike them. But they are poisonous and dangerous if not handled carefully.”

“True, that is the most logical thing to think. However, that wasn’t it at all.”

“May I know what you mean by that?”

Pressing the topic further, he scrapes his bow in a deep thought, a few seconds elapsed in his silence.

“Scorpions and serpents are poisonous indeed. But are they really good or evil, for they are existing beings? Yes, a scorpion is evil in relation to man; as is a serpent; but in relation to themselves they are not evil, for their poison is their weapon, and by their sting they defend themselves."

Fyodor remembers that he has read the quote somewhere when he did his research before. He had a deep fascination to learn through different religions there in this world. What makes it interesting for him is how every single religion has its own God and belief but none of them can prove their God exists. At the very least for him, that’s the conclusion he came to. That is why at one point, he thought that if there is no God then he would become one himself. His God complex didn’t just develop in one night, it took him many, many days and nights searching for his answer and he found none after seeing the world at its demise and the despair it has.

Interesting thing about what he just said is that, Good and Evil is the embodiment of how his ability is. Still, it was a mystery to you, but you have seen how it works when Fyodor touches someone and they drop dead and fall to his feet, just by the tip of his fingers. Crime and Punishment that is neither good or evil. In the eyes of someone he might have seen as someone dangerous with that ability, a demon clocked in angel disguise, but neither can they judge which one is his true nature.

And if all people aren’t good or evil and they're just people that sometimes do cruel things because they have to, you wonder what that makes him if that was the case.

The evil one?

A demon?

Or... a Savior?

"So your intentions...define itself with what good and evil is as long as you know."

He hums, "Care to elaborate it?"

"I... l think it depends on our belief, the interpretation of our choice. Good and Evil is a paradoxical concept that is inherent in human nature, but man has to be rational with them. People are inherently “evil” while society's perspective of good comes from sustained effort. It is a very humane construct because it has to do with morals, and pretty much because no other animal has this compass. There are several concepts of good and evil, first is the collective good or evil, in which society dictates what is what. This however, differs for each individual, depending on their own moral compasses so they may agree or disagree with society. It helps maintain societal structure, but at the same time, good and evil can be viewed as pretty nonexistent simply because it is a social construct.”

He listens to your explanation as his hand never stops from playing the instrument. Again, you continue.

“But such trivial concepts are just definitions pun on abstract concepts. There is no line between good and evil. It's only the perspective that defines how something is seen, close to how war is portrayed by the winner in a way and by the loser in another way. That's why in some cases, murder can be good. Because in the eyes of a murderer, it's always good. Even the people that do charity sometimes do it to feel good themselves and beliefs say that itself is a sin therefore a bad thing. Since everything came and was given birth by God itself. He is the one that creates everything, all things that are good. But good things alone can be evil if one indulges too much in it and evil things can be good as long as we stay away from it... but purely based on intention is not all right either, for mere intention cannot make a bad act good. But a bad act performed in good faith can be excused but it cannot be classified as a good act either."

Based on your answer, he took his time to assess and ask you the next inquiry that piqued his interest.

"So, you do believe in God's existence too?"

"I..." You ponder for a moment before answering, your tongue somehow feels somewhat dry with the said inquiry. "I am not sure... there can be one, and there can be none. It depends on the reality we see, and the faith we held or the religion we have. I'm sorry if my answer is vague..."

"Hmm. It's fine, I don't blame you. I understand." He assures you and arches his head upward, exposing the bulb of his Adam's apple that was visible on his exposed neck. In this moment, he relished the time when someone was engaging in his long spiel.

"The good want power, but to weep barren tears. The powerful goodness want: worse need for them. The wise want love; and those who love want wisdom."

Fyodor says in soft oration, quoting a line from Percy Bysshe Shelley. "In the Garden of Eden, God creates an apple and forbids Adam and Eve to eat it. He is who all-knowing, know that one of them would eat it, but yet he still created man in immature form, created man that will end up resorting to eating it, created the talking snakes knowing it would coerce man into eating it, even already predicting it and going as far as to plan on what state would come after they did. Now which decision was good and evil? Was it a good thing to eat the apple if a man knows that was good for them? Or was it evil to go against the God that created them because they were tempted by the very snake He created?"

Although it seems as if he is asking you, the question was more so directed to himself, so you do not speak to answer him. He continues again with a solemn voice, Fyodor shifting his head again and now staring at the floor, "Sadly, since the beginning, humans are already reigned by sinful nature. They know the consequences of their actions, yet they still can not resist and repel the radiance from the fruit itself; to taste the knowledge of Good and Evil. They then bring chaos to this world, staining the land with corruption from their deadly vices and tyranny. You have seen how foolish humans can be, haven't you? The futile war that you fought, the countless meaningless bloodshed that you witnessed, all because the stupidity that was bred from humanity itself as they keep repeating the same history."

Casting your gaze down into your reflection on the surface of water, there are faint memories flashing by from when you were a soldier. Though not very vivid, the vague image is still there, flickering at the back of your mind in a blaze; the image of mangled bodies, blown apart children, blood running into gutters, rain of missiles dropping like flies on the ground and explosions everywhere blowing up like fireworks. You were there in the front lines, fighting for your own people, for their peace and nation, ready to sacrifice your life. But that was all a fleeting memory of your past; you do not need it anymore. Albeit, there is this simmering feeling that stirs within the deepest recess of your heart, a raging feeling of being betrayed and being cast aside and locked down for years. All because of fear. A fear that came from the fruit of knowledge itself that you were a dangerous ability user. With the said knowledge also comes power, with power comes corruption, and with corruption comes evil; where power becomes absolute, so does evil. War is like a disease festered inside man's heart, and it spreads like a plague and wildfire. Yet sometimes, it’s a necessary one, when the conflict could not be resolved in a peaceful way and war was unavoidable. Then, was it a good thing if it involves mass sacrifice? In a world where the hierarchy of power and different classes of society exist, could man settle the conflict without getting into argument, without evil influence their judgment and without discrimination between their different views and opinions?

Even up until today, there's no ending for human suffering and pain. Left and right you can hear the screaming silent voice cry out for Justice, with a voice pregnant with tears, broken hearts and despair, and the blood of innocents that was spilled when the world's leader moved their piece on the world map like playing a game of simple chess against their opponent. From the first World's War, the Holocaust, systemic genocide, gulags, famine, earthquakes, disease and so forth. All were rooted from the cause of Evil. And Evil first entered the world because Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, which God had forbidden them.

"But... if God did not create the apple in the first place... then would Good and Evil cease to exist?"

Fyodor scrapes one long tune, he closed one eye from your question with another thin smile.

"A predictable nuance that one would think of if we were to avoid all the root of origin. If we put the blame to God itself by essentially placing all blame on Him, then it will prevent the problem of humanity blaming each other. But the problem of evil is the problem of accounting for evil in a world created by an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good God. It seems that if the creator has these attributes, there would be no evil in the world. But there is evil in the world. Thus, there is reason to believe that an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-good creator does not exist." He says with a scoffing voice, "It is therefore natural to think of God's commandment forbidding Man to eat of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge as ironic since God Himself had planted this very same tree in the garden. If God hadn't placed the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden in the first place, Adam and Eve wouldn't have sinned and the world's problems would be moot." He changes his bow pace to create a different tune, "If God exists then, he is testing the virtue and the faith of man by placing the tree in the garden. Then, a man by their own free will may choose their decision to choose between Good and Evil. Back to my question earlier, man could choose to obey the commandment and choose to do Good, or man could choose to disobey the commandment and choose to do Evil. However, if both choices ceased from existence, then humans will truly be free from their sins. But that would mean that people would have no choice to do evil, since evil is completely being erased. And without the choice of doing good, people will be happy not because they are happy, but because there is no longer the choice to be sad. They will only experience positive emotions, because the concept of suffering and pain has been removed and taken away from them. But would that really be a bad thing if one wishes to continue feeling happy without all the negative emotions? And would that be a bad thing if one will not make any evil deeds anymore? The line between good and wrong is distinctly thin after all as you said, as human is stupid to differentiate between what is Good and Evil for them." Fyodor gives the answer then counter it back with his question.

"However, wouldn't that be a blissful world if there was no Good and Evil? Ivan is the perfect example for that concept of being robbed from his negative emotion to be in a state of eternal bliss without any suffering had the apple never been created in the first place, and he would do all Evil simply because he does not see it as Evil since Evil does no longer exist in him." And he, as though acting as God, praised his own creation in delight and fervor that it reflects in his eyes. "You said it yourself that the Good and Evil interpretation is based on what we believe. That isn't exactly wrong now, is it?"

You remain silent to think about it for a moment. Then, with or without it, the world is still fated to be doomed. Evil is still created through man's misuse of his own power to act. He gets into evil of his own. Man misuses his discretion to act under pressure of his desires and satisfaction of his sentiments. That is why man is a sinful creature. With their own carnal desire, they will end up destroying each other even knowing the outcome and aware that they were being controlled by their own avarice. Simply, a foolish human being as he always stated.

Fyodor finishes playing the cello and the music fades from your ears. You instantly feel like you miss hearing it once he has done.

"Ah, pardon me for making you listen to my long ramble, you can put that on the table, I will get to it later." He gestured to the tray you held since the start that has few tablets and glass of translucent water. However, you knew better than anyone else that he might get engrossed into his work later on and forgot to take it so you have to be stricter.

"It's fine... but Ivan would be mad at me if he knows you haven't taken your pills..." You reply back with an even tone, but your hand was quivering from the intense feeling whirling like a torrent inside your heart from listening to his soliloquy, unsure how to feel. You love listening to his voice, and you were trying to digest every word he says. Each time you listen to his long speeches, it's like he is telling you a bedtime story, but with heavy context related to his ideologies. It always left you to think with your own reasoning. Fyodor took notice of that, and he rested the cello on its stand. He gestures to you to come closer to him and your feet move on their own as if he has a magnetic force to command you so.

"Make me," He said with a small smirk adorned his visage.

You creased your eyebrow in confusion at first, "Sorry...?"

"Make me so I can take those pills." He repeated again, now with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"How do I make you?" Your question was anything but innocent. However, for him, that just gives him a chance to tease. A moment he would rarely display.

"Here, I'll make it easy for you." He took the pill from your hand. "Now..." And he guides it to put it on his tongue as he parts his mouth. "Make me swallow it."

Faint blush erupted across your cheeks, and your usual straight expression slightly flustered. Seeing you that way, he merely chuckled. "Hmm? What are you waiting for? Didn't you say Ivan would be mad if I didn't take my pills yet?"

"Ah, yes... that is true." Gulping and with your shaky hand, you place the tray at the nearest desk, taking the glass to sip an amount of water hesitantly. Your eyes dart everywhere as you don’t know how to proceed and avoid eye contact with him as you close your eyes, leaning closer to his face inch by each with your heart beating loudly. You can smell his lavender scent; you didn't know whether it was from his shampoo or his perfume, but nevertheless it invites and guides you. You then open your eyes again, seeing he was looking at you with such an amused expression when you felt his warm lips collide as he drank the water from your mouth, your whole face beginning to heat up again and how you wish you could disintegrate by embarrassment right now. Fyodor tucks the strands of your hair behind, and the lump from his throat swallowed both the pill and the water you transferred to him directly. His tongue sweeps across your moisten lips and he tugges it teasingly in between, nibbling it softly. You relish it as much as you can, desperately craving the affection he gives you for some more.

He broke the kiss, gazing at your flushed face as he lifts your chin to prevent you from looking elsewhere with a small chuckle, "Now, that isn't so hard, isn't it?"

How you hate it that he could pull this confidently without getting flustered as you are. All the more reason when he is enjoying it. But you can never resist him, can you? Not after he has taken so much space inside your heart.

"F... Fyodor..." Your lips tremble calling after his name, there was desperation laced in your voice, a need in your eyes. He looks into you with an adoring unadulterated gaze.

"Hmm?"

"May I...?"

"What? Oh? You mean that..." Understanding what you want from him, Fyodor spread his arms widely. "Alright, you may as you wish."

Enveloped by his frame dearly with his consent, your hands hug his warm body and you rest your head against his solid chest, hearing the rhythmic beat of his heart. Although he plays such beautiful music with his cello, there's no music that ever sounds better than this. You feel his warmth spread on you, and when he returns and gives you a hug back, placing his hand at the back of your spine and he begins to stroke it, your heart swells with happiness. His touch is like a remedy to your starved soul, and it wasn't frequent that you get the chance to be with him this way since he was rarely present at the base.

Fyodor is indeed a strange man, and his mind is always complicated to understand. You never know or could tell what he was thinking. He is no God like Prometheus, not son of Lapetus and Themis. Not the champion of mankind known for his wily intelligence, who stole fire from Zeus and the gods and gave it to mortals. He is just he, a human named Fyodor Dostoevsky. A man who is acting in the place of God to carry the Good and Evil in this world. To bring salvation and destruction that humanity needs. He took the burden and huge responsibility on his own. That is something that you do admire him greatly. Albeit feeling a bit sad that you could do nothing but can only watch his back.

When he talks, you love to listen and take every detail in. You take a breath in and take in his scent again, calming you, feeling safe to be with him despite the reputation he has. Fyodor is not a man that is a fan of great affection; skin contact with another human being is a foreign concept to him. His ability could be activated at any moment if he so desires it, and then you would die in his arm in serenity. He would cleanse you off from your sin without any pain that torments you further. But he let you savor and indulge the solace he could provide you for now, as he did not dislike the company you have provided him as well. Strange as it may sound to him, he now secretly craves for the attention you give to him, as if he is the only center in your life and you are the only one for him, his dorogaya. How you wish you could stay like this with him forever.

However, you know, forever is a grand wish to have, as there is never a good thing that will last forever as it is with evil in this world. Until the end, he will stand alone, just like God he aspired to be.

#fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #fyodor x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungoustraydogs #bsd #I never like my works before but this is the one I can be proud of #maybe #fyodor actually doesn't want to take the iron pills #that's why he drag the conversation #as noted of my friend before #he is being extra and more dramatic than gogol lol xD #tell me what you think about this #I hope I don't mess this up #not a christian so things might not be correct

123 notes · View notes

echoes-of-the-clockwork · 3 years

Text

Book Four: War (Gladiolus x Reader) Chapter Twenty-Two

It had been three years since Noctis was absorbed into the Crystal. Darkness had descended upon all of Eos as the sun was vanquished by the starscourge. Daemons wandered the land and forced many to fear for their lives. Hunters wandered the darkened lands of Eos to hunt down the daemons while others acted as escorts to protect civilians from town to town. The only thing keeping the daemons at bay were the bright fluorescent lights surrounding the settlements located across the Leide, Cleigne, and Duscae regions.

For the past three years, Gladio has been a hunter to assist with slaying the daemons. Of course, (Y/n) was by his side. They took up hunts together and fought daemons side by side. The two hadn't seen or heard from Prompto or Ignis in the past few months, but they weren't worried. Famine was with Prompto and Pestilence was helping Ignis with healing. Death was in Hell, protecting the daemon king from his subjects.

Today, Gladio and (Y/n) were heading to the Vesperpool to slay a horde of red giants that were wreaking havoc in the area. The two were riding together in a truck Cid provided them a couple years back. The old man had installed powerful headlights that kept the daemons from attacking their car while on the road.

War glanced out the window, watching the darkness as the daemons prowled the land. She crossed her legs and didn't realize one was shaking. Her gaze was torn from the window when Gladio places a hand on her thigh and squeezed gently. "You're getting antsy as usual," he said.

"Why wouldn't I be? It's been almost an entire week since we hunted down daemons," she said.

"Nothing's stopping you from going out there and slaughtering them when we don't have a mission."

She purses her bottom lip. "What's the fun in doing it alone? I have you now."

Gladio smiled at her for a second before returning his gaze back to the road. His relationship with the Horseman was going well. (Y/n) wasn't as fiery-tempered as she was three years ago and she's learned to speak her true feelings. She had more patience and was more welcoming to strangers. She even made friends with some of the hunters at Meldacio HQ. Like with any relationship, they had their ups and downs. Whenever an argument did arise, they'd calmly think through it together.

After an hour of driving from Hammerhead to the Vesperpool, the couple arrived at Capitis Haven. They pulled out the camping gear and set up everything. Gladio sat down in one of the chairs around the fire while (Y/n) strolled over to the edge of the haven. She watched the daemons in the distance, searching for their targets.

However, she was promptly torn away from her position at the edge of the haven by Gladio. He'd snuck up behind her, tossed her over his shoulder, and marched her into the tent. She blinked in surprise when realizing she was now laying down on one of the sleeping bags inside the tent. Her (e/c) eyes locked with Gladio's amber ones when his hands grabbed her hips and dragged her towards him. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Remember what Dave said? We've still got some time before those damned red giants appear," he said.

"Of course I remember what Dave said. My question was what are you doing?"

"Recharging my batteries before we hunt some daemons."

She eyed the way he sat between her legs. "In this position? No way."

"You weren't complainin' yesterday when I was-"

She jammed her heel into his back, silencing him. "That was yesterday. Today is today. Putting it in Prompto's term, we aren't gonna "do the dirty" while we're camping. There's no way in hell that'll ever happen, especially with these damned daemons everywhere."

He grinned down at her. "Whatever you say, (Y/n)." He removed himself from between her legs and laid down beside her.

Once he was comfortable, she snuggled into his side and rested her head on his chest. One of his arms wound around her shoulders, his fingers trailing through her crimson locks. "This is much better," she mumbled contently.

Gladio chortled. "Y'know, I never took you for a cuddler."

"You learn something new every day..." Her voice trailed off, (e/c) eyes sliding close. She was enjoying his fingers as they combed through her hair, soothing her and bringing a semblance of peace. She knew it wouldn't be long until she fell asleep due to his ministrations.

Gladio has figured out a year ago that if he stroked her hair for a short amount of time, he'd cause her to fall asleep. It's how he'd get her to sleep with him whenever he needed to rest. It worked every time without fail. When she was finally asleep, he pulled out his phone and set the timer. Once he was done, he put the phone down and fell asleep.

It would only be a couple hours later when the phone would go off. Gladio woke up at hearing the device go off, but (Y/n) remained fast asleep. He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead before deciding to wake her. "C'mon, firecracker. Time to get up."

Over the past three years, (Y/n) no longer abhorred the nickname. She tuned it out more than anything, but she soon learned to love it. However, she wouldn't say that to Gladio. "No..." she mumbled.

"Aren't you the one who doesn't need sleep?"

"Need? No. Want? Yes..." She snuggled closer to him. "It's your fault..."

"Can't deny that," Gladio sighed.

When (Y/n) was about to fall back asleep, the sound of daemons nearby caught her attention. Her eyes flew open and she dashed out of the tent. She ran to the edge of the haven just in time to see five red giants manifests in the middle of the road. She turned to Gladio once he joined her and peered at his phone. "Dave was right on the nose. It's 1 A.M. and a horde of red giants have appeared." She held out her hand and summoned her sword. "Let's do this."

"Don't have to tell me twice." Gladio conjured his own greatsword, following (Y/n) into battle. They faced off against the daemons, swinging their weapons around. War tossed her sword, piercing one of the red giants' heads as she performed a warp-strike. It tried to grab her, but she quickly dislodged her blade and landed back on the ground.

Gladio defeated one of the five red giants while (Y/n) dealt the killing blow to another. Now only three remained. Because of their attention being focused on two other red giants, they failed to see the third one maneuver behind them. The Horseman was the to realize what it was doing when it targeted Gladio. She shouted his name, warning him of the red giant that was about to bring its sword down on him.

The brute turned around just in time to block and parry the red giant's blade. Using the katana gifted to him from Gilgamesh, he dual-wielded it and slashed widely at the daemon. His quick swings caused the enemy to fall to its knees. (Y/n) switched from her sword to a halberd and used it to decapitate it. Two red giants remained.

Teaming up, Gladio and (Y/n) performed a linked attack. She leapt onto the flat side of his greatsword and he tossed her into the air. Once reaching high enough, she activated the armiger and sent a barrage of spears, javelins, swords, halberds, and daggers towards the two remaining red giants. Each weapon pierced the daemons' bodies, killing them both. Landing back on her feet, the Horseman stretched her arms up to the darkened sky. "Looks like our job here's done." Her hands fell back down to her sides when she finished stretching.

"We're a pretty badass team, if I do say so myself," Gladio said. He replayed their current battle in his mind until a frown appeared on his face. Every time (Y/n) warped or activated the armiger, his mind races to his memories of Noctis.

War noticed his expression, already knowing what was going through his head. "I know you, Ignis, and Prompto miss Noctis dearly. He won't be gone forever."

"And how do you know that?" He asked with a hint of hostility.

She knew Noctis was still a sensitive subject even after three years. "Because he succeeded where I failed. He will return when he's ready."

"What're you talking about?"

"Every 500 years, Vanaheim's ruler would be absorbed into the Crystal in order to receive the knowledge of the Astrals. After some time, they'd return to share such knowledge with the rest of the kingdom. I was supposed to be absorbed into the Crystal on my 22nd birthday, but that day never came."

Galdio fell silent. This was the first time she ever told him about her destiny as Vanaheim's queen. All he knew before now was how she was a tyrannical ruler due to Gaius' influence and she was able to harness the second Crystal's power. He dispelled his greatsword with a sigh. "After three years, I'm still learning new things about you."

"What's the fun in sharing everything at once?" She grinned. Her sword vanished from her hand. "Let's head back to the campsite. You look terrible."

"I'm not the only one who-" Gladio stopped talking when witnessing her minor cuts and bruises heal. "I stand corrected."

She laughed. "I'll heal you when we get back to camp."

The couple returned to Capitis Haven. There, War provided healing for Gladio. She watched his minuscule wounds heal before sighing through her nose. "Better call Dave and tell him the good news."

She began sauntering away, her hips swaying with each step as she grabbed a towel. Gladio watched her for a couple of seconds before asking, "Where're you going?"

"I'm gonna enjoy a dip in the Vesperpool. I don't like smelling like sweat and dirt."

"I think it suits you."

She glared feebly at him. "That is not a compliment. Don't make me punch you."

Leaving the haven, (Y/n) wandered through the darkness with her flashlight. She headed towards the large body of water not far from the campsite. Arriving at her destination, she made sure the area was clear before stripping her clothes off. She entered the cold water, her heated skin cooling. She lowered herself into the water until only her neck and head were visible. Her crimson locks floated on the surface as she scrubbed her arms and legs.

Once she finished scrubbing away the dirt and sweat, (Y/n) delved deeper into the water. Now, only everything from her nose up was visible. She closed her eyes, sighing through her nose. The sounds of daemons in the distance didn't disturb her one bit. She continued soaking in the waters until she heard a small splash from behind her.

Before the redhead could turn around to see the cause of the splash, two toned arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her body against a bare chest. (Y/n) recognized the muscular form without having to turn around. "So, you decided to join me, huh?"

"May as well. I didn't smell all that pleasant, either," Gladio said.

The couple floated aimlessly in the water in silence for a short while. (Y/n) was the one to shatter the silence lingering between them. "How'd the call go with Dave?"

"Told him the good news and said our payment would be ready when we get back. He also mentioned a new mission for us."

This grabbed the horseman's attention. "What does he need help with now?"

"You know that imperial base in Leide near Hammerhead? Well, apparently there's been activity inside and he wants us to check it out. Iggy and his new sweetheart are gonna be joining us."

She furrowed her brows. "You mean Pestilence? She's not his sweetheart. She's just helping him with his eyes."

"You might not see it, but I've known Iggy a long time. I can tell when he acts differently around someone. It just so happens that someone is your sister. Whether he realizes it or not, he's head-over-heels for her," Gladio said. "He could use a woman in his life."

"Guess I'll have to see it for myself," she replied. "We'll leave once you've gotten some rest."

After a few minutes, the couple exited the water. They dried themselves off and put their clothes back on before returning to Capitis Haven. Gladio rested in the tent while War gathered and packed up the items they wouldn't be needing any longer. When that was done, she sat down by the fire and stared into the flames. Her head was filled with the memories she's made since arriving on Eos, both good and bad. She hadn't realized how much time had passed until she heard Gladio exit the tent. She tore her gaze away from the fire and looked at him. "What time is it?"

"4 A.M. Don't tell me you've been staring at the campfire this entire time," he said.

"Got lost in though," she confessed. "Since you're up, let's pack everything else up. We'll meet Ignis and Pestilence at Hammerhead."

They packed up the remainder of the campsite and traveled to Hammerhead. There, Gladio called Ignis and learned he and Pestilence wouldn't be arriving until another couple of hours. Hanging up, he put his phone back into his pocket and shared the news with his girlfriend. He threw an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side with a grin. "While we wait, we can get a bite to eat."

"You can get a bite to eat," she corrected him. "I'll just keep you company."

They walked into the diner and saw the place was packed with various amounts of supplies. Takka still worked behind the counter, providing some good meals for the hunters that passed through. There were only a couple of booths opened due to the large amount of boxes scattered about the diner. They sat down at one and Takka took the shield's order.

While waiting for his meal, Gladio stared across the table at (Y/n). He admired her (e/c) eyes and crimson locks while she glanced out the window. He suddenly felt a foot kick his knee under the table.

"You're staring at me," the Horseman grumbled, tearing her gaze away from the window to stare back at Gladio. "Have something to say?"

"Nope," Gladio answered. "Just admiring the gorgeous woman sitting across from me, and trying to figure out how the hell I got so lucky."

"I'm still trying to figure that last part out, too," she teased with a smirk.

Just then, Takka returns with the dish Gladio ordered. As he ate, the couple discussed their past missions and what they should expect from their upcoming one. While wondering why the imperials returned to Formouth Garrison, two people sauntered into the diner. (Y/n) perked up when seeing one of the figures was Pestilence. She waved at the ivory-haired girl. "Hey, sis."

"My, my, it's been quite a while," Pestilence smiled at the two, approaching the table with Ignis by her side. "You both seem to be faring well."

"You both look like you're doing well, too," War replied. "Kicked any daemon ass lately?"

"We just returned from Lestallum after having dealt with troublesome flans encroaching near the city limits," Ignis stated.

Gladio glanced between the advisor and the ivory-haired Horseman. He noticed how close they were standing to each other and grinned. "So, have you two sealed the deal yet?"

"Gladio," Ignis hissed.

"Fool yourself all you want, Iggy, but you're not pulling the wool over my eyes."

(Y/n) noticed her sister's confusion at what Gladio was referring to and decided to change the subject before she could ask any questions. "How're your eyes, Ignis?"

The strategist removed his visor to reveal his once dull eyes were back to being a sparkling emerald. "Visibility has returned although portions of the scarring remain."

"With one more dosage, I should be able to heal the remainder of the scar," Pestilence explained.

"I am in your debt for you assistance, Pestilence," Ignis said.

The lilac-eyed girl smiled warmly at him. "You don't owe me anything, Ignis. Being your partner throughout the years is a reward in itself."

Gladio gestured to the two, smirking in War's direction. "See? What'd I tell ya?"

(Y/n) glanced at her sister and the tactician. She could see how much they cared for each other by simply analyzing how they were gazing at one another. She didn't want to tease the two and didn't answer the shield. "Anyway..." She scooted out of the booth and got to her feet. "We've got an imperial base to infiltrate. What's our plan going to be?"

"Our first course of action is to survey the stronghold and search for an infiltration point," Ignis explained. "From there, we shall observe the empire's movements to gain an understanding of why they've returned."

"So no killing?" (Y/n) asked.

"For the time being, no."

"Ugh..."

Gladio was amused at her disappointment. "I'm sure we'll get to knock some imperial heads together before the day's up."

"I will try to keep my sword sheathed," she mumbled.

"Then shall we be off?" Pestilence asked.

"Hell yeah. Let's see what those bastards are up to," Gladio responded.

"We best keep the truck here," (Y/n) advised.

"How're you planning on us getting there?" The brute questioned.

"Horseback. If we take the truck, they'll spot us easily. Even though daemons are everywhere, our cover won't be blown if we ride Ares and Erra."

"I second the idea," the ivory-haired girl chimed in. "Although more dangerous, it'll keep our approach from alerting the entire stronghold."

"Then horseback it is," Ignis stated. "Let us depart."

#ffxv #ffxv x reader #final fantasy xv #final fantasy xv x reader #gladiolus amicitia #gladiolus x reader #gladio x reader

6 notes · View notes

official-book-wizard · 3 years

Text

I WILL TITLE THIS LATER (I HOPE)

Author’s Note: I did not proofread this at all. I may do so tomorrow (today, but not at 3 in the morning) when I am semi-coherent. I’m also probably going to reblog it then because time zones. It’ll go on AO3 later, but the void is physically manifesting so bon apetit.

“Wait, so it’s Valentine’s day?” Reyna stared agape at Thalia. For someone who always knew the date, she was notoriously bad with holidays.

“You didn’t know?” Thalia asked. “Piper’s been nagging me about it for weeks.”

In the back of her mind, Reyna was pretty sure someone had mentioned it, but, frankly, she had more important things on her mind.

“Okay, yeah, she probably did. Sorry, I forgot.”

“Yeah, fair enough. Either way, the reason I’m here-” Reyna could tell from Thalia’s tone that she was about to say something crazy.

“Okay. So.” Thalia began again. “I can’t find anyone to agree to platonically do cheesy Valentine’s Day things with me. I do it every year, and it’s the best thing ever.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that we both dress as formal as possible, then go to the most formal restaurant I can find, where I will have Valentine’s balloons waiting, much to the annoyance of the wait staff. We will proceed to watch cheesy romantic movies in a movie theater that I happen to know sells those tiny candy hearts. It needs to be as sickeningly sweet and stereotypical as possible.”

“What?” Reyna asked, laughing. “You do that?”

“Every time I get the chance. Then, of course, there’s tomorrow, when I’m going to buy out an entire store’s worth of discount Valentine’s chocolate, but you don’t have to join me for that. Are you in?”

Reyna thought for a moment. She had dignity, a reputation to uphold, and work that she needed to do. Then again, Thalia’s idea sounded ridiculously fun, and she did have a very Valentine’s-esque, overly formal dress that she never got a chance to wear.

It was her good judgement versus impulse, and she knew exactly which was going to win out.

“Yeah, I’m in. When and where do I meet you?”

Thalia gave her an address and time, then left, a triumphant smile on her face.

----------

A few hours later, Reyna found herself in front of the fanciest restaurant in town. Most likely, it was filled with rich elderly straight couples. The thought of Thalia in there was almost laughable; she was loud and cheerful and would never blend into a formal setting like that. She’d be chased out, three Karens on her heels, within seconds.

She waited in her truck for a few minutes before Thalia walked into the parking lot, grinning. She had dyed the blue streak in her hair bright red, which matched the dress Reyna had not expected her to be wearing. She carried a comically large bouquet of garishly colored flowers.

“Did you walk all the way here?” Reyna asked. It would have been maybe 3 or 4 miles from where New Rome, where Thalia was staying just outside of. That was pretty far in heels. Thalia had indeed left nothing out of her ensemble. Then again, neither had Reyna.

“No, I probably would have died halfway here,” said Thalia. “I can’t drive, so your sister drove me.”

“Hylla?” asked Reyna. “Did you tell her I was here?”

“No, she would have murdered me for dragging you into this. She thinks I’m with Piper, who seems to be playing along with it.”

“Isn’t Piper with Shel?” “She’s also playing along,” stated Thalia. “I’d like to escape tonight with my life, thank you very much.”

“Looks like you’ve planned this out,” said Reyna as Thalia passed her the bouquet, which was probably at least two feet tall.

“Well, let’s go. Annoying the straights with my very presence waits for no one.”

----------

Reyna had to admit that the inside of the restaurant was impressive. The entrance was wood paneled in a way that New Rome could only dream of affording. A crystal chandelier as big as she was hung from the ceiling. The wait staff were all wearing suits. Reyna had to admit, it was all a bit intimidating, but she knew nothing better than situations like this. She was fine.

Thalia approached the podium, announcing that she had a reservation. The hostess seemed mildly annoyed, between Thalia’s hair, the flowers, Reyna, and the fact that she had already brought in hot pink heart balloons, which Reyna could see from where they were standing.

With a sigh, the hostess led the two over to their seats, where they were already getting disapproving glares from the middle-aged couples surrounding them, who were now getting someone to point fingers at for the disruptive balloons.

As they looked over the menus, Thalia held out a handful of the same tiny candy hearts that they were going to eat at the movie theater later.

“I practically live for these. Do you want any?”

Reyna did not like candy hearts. But who wanted to say no to the look on Thalia’s face? With a sigh, she picked one.

Thalia was once again grinning like a madman. Did that girl have any other facial expressions? Reyna couldn’t help it; she returned the ear-to-ear smile.

----------

Surprisingly, the two made it through their dinner without the acidic glares of everyone else boring holes into them.

“Do we really want to leave this early?” Thalia asked in what was almost a whisper after a waitress cleared their plates. “Or do we order a giant chocolate cake? Because most times I don’t get this many dirty looks from old people and I’m honestly vibing with it.”

The option was appealing to Reyna, though of course it had numerous problems. “I thought you wanted to eat candy hearts at the movie theater?”

Thalia seemed to realize her mistake. “Yeah, good idea. Small chocolate cake, then.”

“No,” Reyna said. “As in, we have twenty minutes to get there. I don’t know where I’m going and you can’t drive.”

“We’ve been here for an hour?” Thalia seemed shocked. “Wow, didn’t realize that.”

Although it took them a few minutes to finish squabbling over the check, they had made it into Reyna’s truck within five minutes.

“Where to?” Reyna asked as soon as she was behind the wheel.

“Um, left,” Thalia guessed. “It isn’t far from here, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t pass it on the way.”

“How far is it?” Reyna asked.

“Just maybe two minutes drive, max.”

“Would we be better to walk?” asked Reyna. She knew that she could navigate almost any area better on foot; maybe Thalia was the same. “Probably.”

Sure enough, Thalia was able to find her way on foot to the theater, a tiny one just a single street over. Despite its small size, it was packed with people, all of whose existence served to remind Reyna of how overdressed she and Thalia were.

“You get the food, I get the tickets,” Reyna told her. Did she care that they’d just eaten? Not particularly. Anytime can be popcorn time.

As agreed upon, Reyna found the cheesiest movie in the theater and bought two tickets. By the time she had finished that, however, Thalia had barely even moved in line for the popcorn and candy. Since they still had five minutes, Reyna decided she might as well stand in line with her.

No sooner had she, however, than an employee announced that they had run out of popcorn and candy hearts.

“That’s a shame,” Thalia said. “I guess I’ll get extra tomorrow.” “How many do you have now?” “Five.”

“We’ll still be fine,” said Reyna. “At least now we won’t miss the beginning of the movie.”

“You have a point,” Thalia admitted. “Let’s go, the previews should be over soon.”

The plot of the movie, Reyna found, wasn’t all that interesting, though the characters were incredibly stupid, which, as everyone knows, makes up for everything. That, plus Thalia’s snide comments every five minutes, made the experience quite enjoyable.

Speaking of Thalia, Reyna’s eyes kept darting over to her. Despite her overly formal attire, she seemed very relaxed, smiling slightly in the dim light of the theater. Reyna wasn’t really sure why she couldn’t keep her eyes off her, nor was she sure if she cared.

No, at this moment she cared about nothing at all. Nothing but Thalia.

Leaving the movie theater, the world was just one thin plane of reality away from her, almost like she was in a trance. Thalia was just herself, talking so quickly Reyna barely had time to comprehend point A before she was on point F.

Of course, they had to walk back to the truck, still in the parking lot of the restaurant. It was almost midnight and below freezing, but the cold was all that was keeping Reyna’s mind on Earth right then.

All she could do was go over in her head the entire night on repeat. After sitting in the driver’s seat of her truck for a second, she took all the control left in her mind to snap herself out of it.

You’ll have plenty of time for this later, she reminded herself. Though it’s stupid anyway.

Later, she kept reminding herself as her brain kept threatening to send her back. But by some miracle, she drove herself and Thalia back safely.

Say something, she commanded her brain.

“We’re doing this again next year, right?” Reyna asked.

“I don’t have any other plans.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“For now,” Thalia smirked. “But thanks for joining me.” “Thanks for letting me.”

“Good night, praetor.”

“You too, lieutenant.”

Reyna wandered back into the praetorian villa quietly, as by now it was nearing 12:30 in the morning. She went immediately to bed, though she should have known sleeping would be pointless. Her mind was swimming, but within it was only one thought.

Thalia.

What had she done?

#my writing

5 notes · View notes

delicioushistory · 3 years

Text

No matter what spiritual beliefs I may have; I truly believe that the key to healing all parts of yourself and others is to heal one piece of yourself at a time, then pass that knowledge to someone else. Not to get all Christian on anyone, but in the Bible it states, "thou shall not worship any other god, for I am a jealous God." God never denies that other Gods exist. He just states he is a jealous God and if you choose to worship him, worship him only. With that being said as a Christian practicing druid ways, I've learned that it's ok to believe in magic, energy, manifestation. I also know that each spiritual teachings have a price to pay, yes even Christians too. The walk along any spiritual/religious path come with its own trials and tribulations. Struggling to be open minded, yet loyal to our teachings. Christians judging other beliefs does no good, just as no other spiritual/religious beliefs judging Christians is no better. It only hinders our ability to heal and pass it on to others. I used to collect crystals, cleanse them, make me feel better. Through a deep dark spiritual awakening I realized our power lies within God, and whatever God or Goddess you believe too. Reading the Bible helped me open my eyes that God gave us free will to choose what we want to believe. I believe my God is magic. He spoke to Moses through a burning bush! Like come on that's magic. Although the word magic is frowned upon, I can't help but think logically and realistically, That's fucking magic! How can any Christian deny that's magic, energy, manifestation? So where was I getting at with the crystals and stones you may ask? If God made everything on the earth, wouldn't that mean he put energy and magic into what he created so that we could heal and take care of ourselves? So comes my next point, I no longer go out and buy crystals they are gifted to me or I find them hiking. If I do purchase one I never keep them for long nor do I touch them. I cleanse the ones I have put them away by a window where my plants are. I don't hang out with really anyone, but I know when they found their home. I no longer collect crystals for myself, rather I give them away with good intention and knowing it belongs to that person. Like anyone does a spell I pray to God to bless my rocks with love and whatever may be missing in that person's life.

Now you may be asking why the hell am I rambling on? Because I can and because no one truly cares what my thoughts are, but I feel they have to be heard somehow. I'm Native American, Scottish, English, French. My kids are African American, Native American, etc., I also have a very big family in general with lots of different cultures and beliefs. I have always struggled with what am I supposed to believe. How do I respect others beliefs and still have my own? What do I believe in? Am I a witch? Am i an evangelistic Christian? Am I druid?? Am I dark or am I light? I choose to believe in everything. I'm very spiritually tuned in, in a wisdom, intuition,spiritually political, dreams, I can't speak negative otherwise it happens, because of this I learned you don't need spells, if your energy and intent is strong. I have other random gifts. I do believe other deities exist, I choose not to worship them, but I do acknowledge them with respect. I have done tarot, I have done spells, seances, when I was younger and didn't know how to spirtually protect myself then. I do believe I opened a portal when I did the seance when I was 10, I do believe something dark has followed me since then. As punishment and proof of my loyalty to God for his protection and strength to handle my darkness. I use my darkness as armor to walk through darkness, to help guide or give hope to those whom may want to walk through the door of light and yes shadow workers have light. I always wondered why I feel full of life, but so dead inside, being a shadow worker is not for the faint of hearts, often feels like a curse, but for humanity overall is a blessing in the end. After all it is the price I pay for not properly knowing how to perform a seance. You think I'd learn my lesson with the seance, but no I had to try spells. They work, but there is a price to pay in anything you practice. I paid heavily, which taught me the lesson of using spells and speaking in general with good intent, if there is a slight doubt I will not proceed. I have spoken bad on someone and revoked it, so that I take back all the karma and stop their suffering. Let me tell you holy cow lesson learned. I don't do spells except for that in prayer. Buddhism taught me to work on ego, greed, pride, peace of mind. So many amazing teachings and so many beautiful rituals. As you can tell this is why I love druidism, they are known for wisdom, worshipping other deities,political guidance, although rejected they eventually incorporated Christianity in there, I'm sure it was forced upon them? However as a practicing Druid Christian, I'm a firm believer humans taint the teachings for the sake of power and the actually meanings of the teachings get lost with the hate people create around it. It is not our deities who fail us, it is us who fails us.

If someone says blessed be, do not be offended or reject good energy, just because it's not God or it's magic. Energy itself is magic thats what we are in this human body.

If someone says or asks to pray for you, do not be offended, maybe that's the only way they no how to send out good energy, because they don't do spells and are scared, due to lack of knowledge and understanding.

If someone is dark energy or accept darkness, you love them as they are. Whether you can tolerate it close or far away is your choice, but practice acceptance.

We all are supposed to learn to preserve the earth and heal each other. Heal within ourselves first, then pass down the knowledge. If you don't agree with something, ask yourself what can I learn from this? Then tell yourself you are not perfect, but you are ok. Lightworkers don't always look bright. Shadow workers aren't always dark. There's a positive to a negative, no matter how small. The impossible is always possible.

#history #christian faith #spirituality #religious #books & libraries #museums #beauty #education #lovecore #darkness #light #openmind #self healing

3 notes · View notes

shardweavers · 4 years

Text

Chapter Eight - Creative Thinking

Shoto and Angel got up from the table where they'd been sitting. The Scholar peeked into the room as she slowly opened the door…

And found the Ascian was sound asleep on the bed. He was still recovering from his injuries, after all. The female Miqo'te carefully stepped into the room, thought for a moment, then looked back to Angel; he'd followed her inside just as carefully.

"I wonder... Where did he get most of those injuries? I checked for external wounds, and I only found," she frowned as she paused, "...I only found the scar... from where I struck him through…" She trailed off.

"Were there internal injuries?" Angel asked, frowning. "I-I mean, given--"

"Yes, both Eos and I could sense the internal wounds, but they didn't feel...connected to the last battle," Shoto mused. The two Miqo'te spent a long, silent moment in thought...

"You're both aware that I am not deaf, correct?" came Emet-Selch's voice, cutting through to interrupt; he sounded more than a little annoyed. Angel gave a squeak of surprise, and Shoto jumped slightly.

"W-well, look, we thought you were asleep, and--!!"

"I might be, but there were two noisy felines just now, mewing on and on," the Paragon replied, opening one eye fully, studying her with it before glancing to Angel and heaving a loud sigh as he shut his eyes again. Shoto pouted and looked away.

"Fine, we apologize for the disturbance. Were we too loud for Your Radiance out on the terrace, too?"

"Perhaps, but the Emperor shall forgive that indiscretion," Hades said with faux imperiousness as he pushed himself up to a sitting position, waving his hand for extra effect. "I'll concede it's hardly fair to chase you out of your own living quarters, and I'm sure at least one of you doesn't trust wicked old me alone in here." He smirked.

"How generous," Shoto grumbled, crossing her arms as she went over to the edge of the bed. "So, you're going to stay awake?" "For the time being. The night you so generously returned to Norvrandt hasn't settled fully yet, and the evenings here are abominably bright."

'From his tone, you'd never guess that he had any role in bringing the Flood of Light about,' Shoto thought, a little bitterly.

"If you intended to ply me with further questions," Emet-Selch continued, interrupting her train of thought, "why, that might help ease my boredom, just a tiny fraction." His amber eyes bored into Shoto, and she felt almost compelled to speak. "...What did you mean when you said…'eight times rejoined'?" The Ascian blinked and then gave another overwhelmed sigh, leaning back against the headboard of the bed and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Or, I suppose, you could attempt to ask me a question so stupid it permanently kills me." "Wh--You--!!"

"Or counts as a form of torture. Aren't heroes supposed to be against torture?"

"It's a legitimate question!" Shoto sputtered in embarrassed fury. "It's an incredibly disappointing question," Hades quipped back, his own expression disgruntled. "I was given to believe that you understood word one of what I said regarding Amaurot? The Final Days? The Great Sundering, and how our world was shattered into the Source and its thirteen reflections? Yes?" "Yes!" "Then ‘eight times rejoined' means exactly what it sounds like it means. There have been seven reunions, what you call the ‘Umbral Calamities', of shards unto the Source. Each time, the soul of those who lived in the time of Amaurot comes closer to wholeness. You are, like it or no, one such soul. Ergo…" He trailed off with a languid gesture.

Angel bit his lip. It couldn't be that simple, could it?

...Hadn't the Seventh Umbral Calamity been when they first began to really experience the Echo…?

"This time is different," Shoto argued. "Or...it feels different, at any rate! Angel and I have been...causing...things to just, just appear out of thin air!"

"...What?" Now Emet-Selch had a turn at looking surprised. "How do you mean--wait, no--"

"I mean it like it sounds," Shoto growled petulantly, even if she found she didn't really enjoy the wince on the Ascian's face. "Alright, alright, I deserved that." The Ascian brought a hand to his chin, fingers partially covering his mouth, in thought. "...I wonder...These appearances, are they linked to intense periods of...concentration?" "Yes. In both our cases." "...Curious. Very curious." Amber eyes looked to the floor, then back up to track over both of the Miqo'te before him. "Tell me, when you were traveling...my Amaurot, did you chance to hear about…'Creation Magic', perhaps...?"

Angel almost leapt into the air as he listened to the answer the Ascian gave, and he felt his tail puff up, his ears flickering violently.

"The...The Bureau of the Architect," he whispered, almost involuntarily…

What he was leading into matched almost perfectly to what the Amaroutine shade at the Bureau had told the Warriors and the Scions when they asked about that same term.

"Picture a bouquet of fresh, fragrant flowers, all the colors of the rainbow. Now picture those selfsame flowers formed of delicate crystal, impossibly fragile and radiating hues beyond the visual spectrum."

That was, in fact, exactly what they had described to one another, wasn't it?

A fish he hadn't seen before; but had thought about very clearly; had just appeared in his empty aquarium. A flower that wasn't there; that she could very clearly see in the vase; was then suddenly there. The Keeper of the Moon's eyes were wide as saucers, and his ears pinned back as he realized Emet-Selch was staring at him, had definitely heard his whisper.

"Crrreation Magics...? A-Are you trrrying to say... one soul sharrrrd can make... such... a difference...?"

He trailed off again, staring back at the Ascian, his mouth open slightly in shock.

"It's quite possible," Hades replied. "The Bureau existed because that sort of gift wasn't at all uncommon in Amaurot. Certainly, one needed quite the level of talent at manipulating aether, but we rather prided ourselves on our ability to forge it into a concrete form."

"But…" Angel shook his head, wanting to argue against this...this whole sequence of ideas, even without evidence. "Shouldn't it be the same for all of us, then? I mean, Ice only felt like his soul was...stronger…"

Emet-Selch smirked and arched an eyebrow...his expression was almost kind, or as kind as his smirk got. "Why would it be the exact same, pray? Despite our unity and the commonality of our dress, we Ancients were hardly all identical drones. If that came off as the case, perhaps my re-creation of Amaurot really did err."

He shrugged. "More than likely, in his own way, your compatriot possesses something similar, but it manifests differently, the way a warrior differs from a magus. In his own way, he was quite observant. If this is, indeed, Creation Magic, it's not some alien power bestowed upon you, you know. You're re-learning it as a result of your soul becoming, well, stronger."

Angel looked down to the ring on his left hand, resting it on his chest. His mind felt like he was caught in a vortex of some kind; his thoughts swirled. He was shaking, he realized.

Amaurot, and the Final Days...The Bureau of the Architect…

His husband's words, and his cheerful smile...

"Aside from feeling a bit stronger, I don't really feel that different! Sorry to disappoint, Angel, heh."

His father's, Kohji's voice, harsh and cold…

"Mages are weak. Worthless. They can't do anything without a warrior to protect them. Are you saying you intend to be weak, boy…?!"

"...It's like the Echo," Shoto interjected, looking over at Emet-Selch with a bit of a cryptic stare. "Isn't it? The Echo feels like it's always been with us, but it only really awakened after the Seventh Umbral Calamity."

The first time he'd ever felt the Echo, Hydaelyn's voice reverberating in his mind like a crystalline orchestra…

He could almost hear it now…

Hades sighed and spread his arms, a wide-ranging, insincere "who can say???" evident in his gesture. "It's possible, certainly? I can't speak to it being the full truth, dear hero. Our understanding of the Echo is so much different from yours."

Hear...

Shoto's lip curled. "This is going to be like when Lahabrea went on about how we knew nothing about it and were worms before him, right?"

Feel...

Emet-Selch's eyes narrowed and his smirk became more devious. "Heavens, no. I meant more that we use it for its full and noble purpose, whereas your use of the Echo seems limited to prying into others' personal business."

Think…

"Now see here, you--"

Even as he stared at his ring, the room spun. His head hurt, suddenly, a violent, piercing pain; there was something like a sound, like a too-tinny bell at the edge of hearing.

Speak not the name of the Voidsent, or it shall appear before thee; apparently this applied to the Echo, in truth.

And yet, as he gripped at his forehead, and saw Shoto similarly overcome...Was it his imagination, or was Emet-Selch also…??

There was no time to question. The room in the Pendants disappeared, everything instantly felt distant and muted as though they'd all been suddenly pulled underwater.

The quiet sound of gentle bells followed a young Amaurotine through the long hallway. The cowl of his robe pulled up, and positioned just so; his white mask precisely centered on his face. The boy's pace hurried to keep up with the far taller people that led him through the Words of Lahabrea, deep within the Bureau of the Architect...the very heart of Amaurot's magickal engineering program.

The foremost users of Creation.

The only sounds in the wide marble halls were their footsteps, and the rhythmic, gentle bells behind them. The boy, who was distracted from these sounds by the thunder of his own nervous heartbeat, glanced back to the bells, briefly, to find a fluffy, three-tailed mammalian creature, with bright, golden eyes; the soft glow off of its fur indicated this was an arcane creation, no kind of natural beast. It casually hopped along, at pace, back and forth in a zig-zag pattern.

At last, all of the Amaurotines stopped before a pair of large double doors; their leader, the tallest of the four surrounding the boy, turned to their young companion first, regarding him seriously.

"You are ready to assist, correct, Asopus?"

The boy felt his throat dry instantly, but he closed his mouth, then took a breath through his nose...releasing it, he managed a resolute, calm reply, despite still feeling shaky. "Yes, Chief Researcher Telemachos."

The tall man nodded and went over to the doors, placing his hand on a security mechanism; lines of light quickly flowed across the surface, and the doors opened wide.

The young man squared his shoulders and turned his masked face to look up at the woman closest to him, the one who had asked him here. He opened his mouth to ask her a question…

But no sooner had he done so then there was the sound of clicked teeth from a third member of the four.

"Really, Xene. This is the help we were promised? This is your ‘savant'?"

"Chrysanthos," she shook her head, then took a step forward, "don't start in, especially not now. This concept is very large and very intricate, thanks in no small part to you, and the Concordance reassigned Vaseilos to a pressing matter in the field. As much as you might not--"

"Don't try and make this about him! This is your failure! You said we would have someone of equal skill. This," Chrysanthos looked down to him. The white mask hid most of his face, but his tone dripped with contempt and his mouth was a sneer. "child still depends on a Familiar, Xene."

"As though that's proof he's incapable? Faidon, Aristotelis, and Eftychia all delegate a measure of their aether to their own Familiars," she crossed her arms over her chest, "Especially on large, intricate projects where we need the extra willpower. Like this one."

"They are peers of the Bureau, Xene! You haven't even brought us an Akademia graduate, you've brought us Prorektor Apollo's spare son!" Chrysanthos snarled. "Need I remind you the cost of errors in this Summoning? If there's even a minute flaw in the concept, it could--"

"That's enough," came Telemachos' calm, quiet voice, the leader sweeping his hand as if to swat Chrysanthos' words out of the air. "Our guest is here to assist, to learn, and to demonstrate why Master Lahabrea favors him, not to serve as linchpin of the summoning. If you must worry about something, Chrysanthos, worry about your own role."

The boy flinched. That was why he was really here, wasn't it? Lahabrea's favor. His father's role. Not his own talents.

Chrysanthos hissed through his teeth but seemed to drop the matter as they stepped into the summoning chamber, Telemachos striding into the center and removing a pair of crystals from his robe, which he slotted into pre-configured places on the altar.

Xene seemed to notice the young Amaurotine's distress, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry. You're here because of your own capabilities, not High Speaker Lahabrea's preferences, I promise."

"...I…"

"She's right," another woman spoke up, removing the Conceptual Pattern and Matrix scrolls from a set of filing drawers. "Favor or not, Chief Researcher Telemachos would send you packing if he didn't think you could do it, youngster."

"Artemisia, I'm not sure that's helping him feel better," Xene chided. "It's a compliment!" Artemisia insisted, giving a small smile to the young man as she unfurled one of the scrolls. "I need him to believe in himself just as much as you do, or I won't get my early lunch." She stuck out her tongue and laughed good-natured even as Xene sighed in exasperation.

"Artemisia…! Augh, she's impossible sometimes. Pray, pay no mind to them. Show them your skill, and even Chrysanthos will be silenced."

He opened his mouth to reply, then stopped. He nodded instead, then turned to the altar and its subsidiaries. Telemachos had unfurled the Matrix and now set it on the altar, adjusting the crystals...the pattern of the matrix began to write itself in aetheric light in the engraved magic circle of the summoning chamber. Artemisia unfurled the Plan with a flourish.

"This is the concept we're to create for testing, but the caveat is it has to be perfect upon creation. Can you tell why?" Xene explained, then gestured to the Plan. The boy read over the Concept Plan carefully, as the orange creature climbed up onto his shoulders.

He blinked then looked up to Xene and Telemachos in surprise.

"It's..."

* * * "An immortal bird?" Hades repeated as they made their way through the restricted area of the Bureau of the Architect.

Hythlodaeus nodded. "To be precise, it is not a living being, but magick woven in the likeness of a bird. One possessed of puissant healing powers. And as befits a masterwork of the Words of Lahabrea, it is a thing of beauty."

"I don't doubt it. So what, then, is the problem?"

"As I said, it is not a living being. The concept proposed was...well, to give a very basic outline, a magick in avian guise. With this in mind..."

* * * The doors opened soundlessly, but the change in light drew their attention.

Artemisia knelt beside the boy who cowered in the corner. His mask broken into pieces, his cowl torn and around his shoulders. Pale, blue hair was tinged red with blood from visible injuries on his face. His orange Familiar stood defensively before him; it watched the flying bird above them, but it seemed a bit scared.

The boy was holding his hands over his ears as the fiery bird screeched horribly, then rammed itself into the wall with a sickening sound; the young man flinched visibly each time.

Artemisia was the one trying to comfort him, the others seemed to be missing. There was debris and destroyed furniture all over, which made it hard to tell who had entered. The woman strained to see around, but recognized the shape of the one Hythlodaeus had called, even as that shape changed and grew, warped to massive size. Her voice seemed relieved when she said his name.

"Hades! Oh, praise the Cycle." she turned to the boy in the corner, "You can breathe now," she reached up to his head, gently. He shook his head and whimpered.

"It's my fault. It's my fault. I...I did this, if I hadn't…"

"You did just fine," she softly reassured him. Hades' transformation completed, and Artemisia looked excited to see the sorcerer's full form, "Look now, and see something grand!"

But the injured boy was too frightened to look up, "The bird... H-He... He blames..."

There was one last, terrible screech, which made the boy cry out in fear. His Familiar turned, and immediately leapt onto his lap. Then all was silent for a moment.

Hades slowly returned to his normal form beside the highly impressed Hythlodaeus; who was quietly clapping.

"A wonderful first impression from the most eminent Emet-Selch," he teased.

Hades sighed at his friend, "Stop that." He turned to leave, but noticed Hythlodaeus had yet to move. "Is there aught else?"

"I say, dear friend, I think we may now be quite finished…!"

"Another cre--?" Hades turned, as the dust and rubble finally settled. A softly glowing, orange creature drew his attention first. Then the smaller black-robed figure, being comforted by a taller woman, one of the researchers. For a moment, the High Councilor was confused as to Hythlodaeus' meaning, but then…he saw the dark, malformed creature beside them, the failed Concept that had been hidden by smoke and mist.

It was no bigger than a large canine, like a hound or wolf, but had three heads, and a thick, long tail. It was focused on the taller figure, as it bared its over-sharp fangs, and breathed steam.

"You'll be alright. We should get you back to the medical ward in Anyder," Artemisia was saying--she put an arm gently around her young compatriot's shoulders.

The boy jumped, and the canid creature pounced…!

Snap!

A sharp sound cracked through the room. Artemisia had turned in time to see the creature nearly take her head off... then vanish with a snap. Hythlodaeus calmly walked over to the boy, then Hades followed to check on the woman beside him.

"Calm, child, everything is as it should be," Hythlodaeus knelt down, then spied the broken mask nearby. He calmly picked it up, then put his free hand on the boy's head.

"Hades," Artemisia said, shakily, "Or, I suppose I should call you Emet-Selch now, hm?" She smiled a little, then stood up. "Thank you for all the help. This was--"

"An accident. I understand. They happen. Though," he looked over to the near-unconscious child, as his friend put his arms around him, "Pray tell, why is he here?"

"His innate skill at creating creatures," Artemisia replied, then looked to where the canine had been only a moment ago. She reached up to her neck, then looked back to Hades. "Since Vaseilos was reassigned, Xene thought we should bring him in to finalize the balance of the summoning. I agreed, because I thought if we could showcase his talent to the rest of the Bureau, they might let go of their prejudices, and Telemachos approved of it, even, so--"

"Does Lahabrea know he's here?"

"Of course he does, he was over-excited to hear that we'd recruited Asopus, he all but insisted we make him part of this particular concept-summoning." She sighed and bit her lip. "I must help with recovery efforts and trying to get the summoning chamber in less of a...state. I beg you, tell our Emissary that his brother performed perfectly well, the accident was not his fault. Master Lahabrea will be pleased with his progress...and I will attempt to calm the others' nonsensical ramblings about curses while he recovers."

"You were very brave, Ambrosia, I'm certain Asopus will give you a treat when he wakes," Hythlodaeus smiled at the little creature as he gathered the slumped, unfighting Asopus into his arms.

Hades made a face at all the information he'd been given. He nodded in reply to Artemisia, then swept from the room, and followed his friend out to the streets in silence.

Once outside, Hades broke off, then headed back towards the park he'd come from.

"Hmm? Are you off to sleep again?" The question gained no response, to which Hythlodaeus grinned, "Should I inform her of your news on the way to Anyder?"

Emet-Selch stopped, then glanced over his shoulder with an unreadable expression.

Hythlodaeus turned to head off, "Go rest, my friend! I'll let Perseph--"

"You'll do no such thing, I can handle that myself," Hades responded with a very deep sigh. His friend had prodded him intentionally and it had worked. He'd go find her and tell her of today's events himself.

Hythlodaeus chuckled, clearly pleased with himself, and away towards Anyder's medical wing he went, the boy in his arms drifting away from consciousness...and as he did, the vision, too, faded away, the room in the Pendants flowing back into sudden focus.

When it seemed like the room was stable again, Angel and Shoto opened their eyes, the grip of the Echo loosened. The female Miqo'te shook her head sharply, to clear the aftereffects from the Echo away, causing her teal-flecked hair to bounce in and out of her face. She spied the male Miqo'te, now kneeling on the floor. He shook his head much more carefully...

Was he crying? The Keeper stopped, then reached up to wipe at his eyes, which confirmed that she hadn't been seeing things. She frowned. How hard had the Echo been on her friend…?

Wait! Emet-Selch!

They both immediately looked around the room, only to find that the Ascian was still right where they'd left him, his golden eyes staring sharply at them both, piercingly. Gone was any of his usual affect; the look he gave them was almost that of a lion staring at smaller animals.

"...What did you see?" The question was more or less a demand.

Angel felt his stomach flip-flop. The Ascian must be furious. That scene had been torn from his memories, after all, hadn't it?

He bit his lip before he quietly replied, "I...w-we...saw... a young boy," he trailed off a bit, then looked over to Shoto; he was after reassurance that she'd seen something similar. "It seemed like... he was a parrrt of... some sort of... summoning...? I-It was…"

The White Mage gripped at his robes, up near his neck. He was at a loss of words on what it was they witnessed. The feelings of unease that had come from the boy felt too familiar, more so than just a simple Echo vision; his mind began to wander in the silence.

《Hm~? When was the last time the Echo hit you this hard...?》

Angel stayed silent, but the voice's question was still accurate--when was the last time he felt completely exhausted just from a vision...?

"The Bureau summoned something...Not a Primal, some sort of bird…?" Shoto's words seemed to bring the male Miqo'te back to the present, though he still seemed slightly distracted. He nodded as she continued, "It was supposed to be pure magick, life given to aether, but...something went terribly wrong. It almost felt like Phoenix, and what went wrong...With..."

She trailed off.

While he did his best to relax his expression, Hades couldn't help how tense he felt at her positive identification of the memory.... The day when young Asopus had first been brought into the Bureau, an attempt to uncover the full depths of his potential. Lahabrea's idea, of course; the Speaker had been practically obsessed with both of Prorektor Apollo's sons.

Poor Asopus. The boy had been talented, true, but he was timid, his skills imprecise, and he was a great ball of unrefined aether. The results had been predictably tragic. By Hythlodaeus' request, he had cleaned up the ugly aftermath of the experiment, and saved the other Bureau researcher from being savaged by a rogue concept summoned from the boy's terror and the still-active matrix.

How curious that the Echo dredged up that particular memory? Perhaps it was simply an object lesson, he thought, relaxing a little at last.

"Well, then, I believe I understand what you saw; one of the Bureau's mishaps with the very creation magic we were just discussing. Just as it was commonplace for concepts to be summoned forth, it goes without saying that creation magic is quite dangerous for those who don't properly understand it, hm?"

Shoto simply nodded mutely, and Angel didn't respond; the Ascian let out a long, drawn-out sigh. "Perhaps it'd be best if we dropped this particular subject, for now." He glanced curiously over to the nearby bag Angel had brought with him.

Angel followed the Ascian's gaze, 'Right! I brought that here to help!' he thought, as he carefully stood. His ears flicked as he hurried over to the desk, pushing aside some lightheadedness. The Keeper shifted the jumbled sandwiches around, and tried to put the previous topic; and the swirl of confused, violent emotions he was still feeling; out of his mind. He removed the sandwiches that were still edible from their packaging, then pulled out the slightly bruised fruit. Lastly, he pulled out a smaller; now crumpled; bag, and held it out to Shoto as he leaned on the desk.

"It's a few days worth of herbal medicine for a bird, but... it should be about two doses for a person. We could mix it with food or drink or," he looked to Emet-Selch before he continued, "...he could swallow the bitter medicine on its own."

It was hard to tell if Angel had worded it intentionally or not, but Shoto, at least, knew how much Angel hated bitter things... so... maybe it was just a coincidence.

The Ascian raised a brow at the mention of food and drink; he didn't know how he felt about the medicine.

"I'm surprised," he drawled. "So far, that's two Warriors of Light willing to play at being my nursemaid, without anything asked in return. Has my wicked charm really become so devastatingly effective? Aren't you afraid I'll suddenly take the advantage, turn the tables on you?"

Shoto glared at him with a somewhat serious expression as he said that, and stepped forward, pointing at Emet-Selch. "For one, we haven't said we trust you. For another, you were the one who offered ‘peace in our time', as I remember it, not a little while ago, due to your injuries! And for a third thing, you probably should've taken the time to go after us while we were crippled by the Echo just now, because--"

Emet-Selch laughed and put his hands up, though he seemed surprised, at least a little, at Shoto's vehemence. "Alright, alright, goodness me! You take my jests so poorly, Hero." His shoulders slumped a little and he gave a wry smile, spreading his arms into a shrug again. "I will note for you both that my goal, even now, has not changed. I wish to bring about the Rejoining. But," he added, noticing Shoto visibly tense up further as he spoke, "do calm down. I want to investigate...different approaches. After all, despite the lack of a Calamity and its attendant aether, your souls have been rejoined quite successfully. So I now wonder...what other options might be present, though I still desire Amaurot's resurrection? That's not so terrible, is it?"

"...Hmph. No, I suppose not," sighed Shoto. Hades allowed himself a small smile, which allowed him to hide the growl of his stomach, thankfully audible only to him thus far, though his amber-eyed gaze followed the food without him consciously willing it. Damn this mortality! He was above base urges like hunger!

"I-I can... make some tea... to go with the food," Angel offered, as he carefully handed the sandwiches and fruit to Shoto, then headed over to the little kitchen area of her quarters, still clearly troubled by...everything.

As he removed the teapot and three cups from the cupboard, that familiar voice entered Angel's thoughts, as he started to prepare a quick, hot tea.

《Are you gonna try to ask Ice about this little Echo vision...?》

'Anubis,' Angel thought in reply, as he put the kettle on the stove to heat the water. 'I... I don't know yet.'

《Something felt different that time. I don't think you've had a reaction like someone kicked your kitten before...》

The voice trailed off, as Angel gripped the hot pad he had meant to set on the counter.

'Perhaps... a different... metaphor,' Angel growled quietly, then released the hot pad and shook his head a bit.

《Oh, right~... Your 'Stray Problem'...》

The White Mage glared at the teapot in silence. He chose not to respond to what felt like a pure taunt. The lack of response didn't seem to stop the voice, though. He continued as Angel reached over to get the canister of tea leaves.

《...Y'know. The Paragon's right about you being too kind. Too trusting. You take in every stray you find, without ever questioning anything...》

'S-So...?' Angel fumbled with the lid of the canister. Anubis paused, then spoke a bit coldly, his question heavy with implication.

《...Isn't that how you always end up getting hurt...?》

"Shut up!" The White Mage hissed as he dropped the canister with a quiet clatter. The lid had stayed attached, but he didn't pay attention to that. Angel instantly covered his mouth as his eyes widened; he hadn't meant to respond out loud.

Shoto had walked over to put a sandwich and one of the fruits on the nightstand for Emet-Selch; she turned her head to look at Angel. The Ascian was blinking and looking at him as well.

"Angel? Is everything okay?" She tilted her head a bit. The male Miqo'te blushed, then uncovered his mouth as he turned his head to reply with a slight nod.

"Y-Yes. I-It's fine. I'm f-fine," he then turned back to the teapot, hurriedly stuffing tea leaves into the strainer...after a moment of watching this and looking between the two, Hades cleared his throat, deciding upon another change of topic.

"I do hate to pry, but given the current state of my clothes, might I bother you in particular, dear Keeper of the Moon, for any spare clothing beyond this?" He put his head on his palm rather dramatically, glancing to Shoto and affecting a theatrically put-upon tone, though he grinned as he spoke. "I'm aware, of course, that the lady of the house prefers my current attire, but it's so dreadfully exposed, don't you think?"

Shoto growled in her throat and pinched the bridge of her nose as her cheeks flushed red again; she had put out of her mind that the Ascian was still in the bathrobe from before. Ugh. Of course he'd choose to be a pain about it! She looked to Angel herself as Emet-Selch finished the question, the other Miqo'te catching her gaze even as he processed Hades' words.

"Well... I have a... sparrre," he flicked his ears, then shook his head to clear it a bit with a frustrated pout. "I have a spare traveling robe... I-I keep it here, in the Pendants, in case it's too cold," he frowned, "but it's in Ice's and my room... at the other end of the hall." He made a face as he looked to Emet-Selch for a moment, then realized how tall he was compared to him. "I-It's made to reach my ankles, so I think... it would still... be a little short... on you." The male Miqo'te tilted his head a little, "But it would probably cover you... more... than a bathrobe would?" He trailed off a bit.

《An Ascian, wearing your clothes, in Shoto's room...?》Anubis spoke up once more, as he pointed out the problem with this situation; albeit with a slightly mocking mental tone. Angel hadn't thought about that... but he'd already offered. 《By the Twelve, Angel... What will Ice think about this scandalous turn of events...?》

A heavy, guilty feeling sank into his stomach, and his throat tightened a bit. His heart pounded a bit faster as he suddenly wondered how he would even begin to explain any of this to his husband.

The kettle started to boil and interrupted Angel's thoughts with a quiet whistle. He hurriedly turned to pour the water into the prepared teapot, looking away from Shoto and Emet-Selch again. The White Mage was grateful for the sudden distraction.

After a few moments, Angel carefully brought the tray over to the desk, the three teacups, some sugar cubes, and a small container with cream all placed around the pot in the center. He spoke as he headed over.

"J-Just so you know... Sh-Shoto and I help, because th-that's just... how we arrre." He stopped to sit the tray on the desk to let the tea steep, "You... You knew that... back then... so... I-I think," he looked back to Emet-Selch and finished his sentence, "..th-that's why we'rrre... all in this mess... togetherrr." His tail flicked, to accentuate his point, even as he pushed aside quiet mental snickering from the voice of Anubis in his mind, and fervently wished he could better quiet his nervous purring habit in times like this.

Shoto thought for a moment, looking over their Ascian guest herself, who seemed to be digesting Angel's speech.

"Wait. I have an idea." She once more walked over to the armoire from where she'd gotten the fresh linens earlier, and carefully dug around for a few moments before she exclaimed, "Aha! Here we go!"

Emet-Selch's attention drawn, he watched her closely as she returned to him with a folded set of dark-colored, silken clothing, which she held out to him rather proudly. Rolling his eyes for melodramatic effect, his smirk became a genuine wince as he moved to get up, instantly catching the headboard with one hand to steady himself. Without thinking, Shoto immediately moved over to help steady him.

Her hand braced his arm, and the feeling of connection, that shared aether between her and the Ascian, lit up like a firework. She very suddenly felt his pain; the pain of the wound that radiated through his core. Her ears flattened as she mirrored his wincing expression, gasping with the sudden agony…

And then they had separated again, and the feeling was gone.

"Are you okay…?!" Angel had hurried to her side, all concern for Shoto's well-being; she simply nodded. Hades, too, looked worried...but then his eyes darted to the side, he took the clothes, and he hurried into the bathroom to change. Shoto stood there in a daze, willing the sensation to pass and the room to stop spinning, which it slowly did.

'There it is again...But I didn't feel this way when the Echo overtook us earlier…? What is this connection…?'

After a few minutes, Emet-Selch returned, now wearing a black dress shirt, the sleeves short with a bellow accompanied with a simple white vest, and a pair of dark gray dress slacks.

Shoto blinked and couldn't quite help herself from staring at him, her mouth a small ‘o' shape of surprise. She'd picked out the clothing, yes, but she hadn't expected him to look quite so...dashing in this outfit! It lacked the regal arrogance of his Garlean robes; instead it seemed to let him present an almost gentle...confidence...what was she thinking?! Her cheeks red as dragonfire, she quickly looked away.

Emet-Selch raised an eyebrow as he realized she'd been giving him the once-over, but shrugged nonchalantly, deciding to let her off the hook this time.

"It's not my normal attire, but it shall do." He headed back towards the bed, but had to pause once more, as pain shot through his body again after the quick movement. Shoto looked back to him, then shook her head, biting her lip.

"You should lay back down. We can bring your tea over to the bedside."

Emet-Selch made a face at that; he'd always hated exposing weakness, and there were very few he wanted to show vulnerability to, let alone depend on the aid of. Stubbornly, he trudged back to the bed on his own, then laid back on the bed with visible reluctance as he watched them.

Angel moved aside to let him pass, and then retrieved the tray of tea; it was well-steeped by now, and ready to serve. He picked up the teapot, and began to pour the tea into the cups before looking to their Ascian guest.

"H-How do you like it?" Angel blushed, then quickly added. "Th-The tea. Yourrr... tea." He sat the teapot down before he dropped it, he'd only gotten two cups poured.

"I will take it as is." Emet-Selch waved his hand at the fuss.

Shoto nodded to Angel, then picked up the first cup and saucer. She brought them over to the Ascian, and sat them beside the sandwich and fruit she'd placed on the nightstand while Angel was making the tea; to his credit, the Ascian quietly picked up the cup and sipped the tea. He seemed to appreciate it, wordlessly, then began to eat and drink in silence, allowing Shoto to walk back over to Angel.

She stood with her back to Emet-Selch, and spoke to the male Miqo'te in a low whisper, "We can not let Ice know about this just yet. You know how he'll react," she frowned at the thought.

Angel matched her hushed whisper as he responded with a shaky nod.

"I-I do... He'd be down here in a hearrrtbeat." He flicked an ear in annoyance at his purrs, but was focused on his concern for Shoto. He glanced to Emet-Selch, then back to Shoto, "But I--,"

Shoto shook her head slightly, and immediately interrupted his argument as she continued.

"It's getting late. You should head back." She looked over her shoulder towards the Ascian, "I can keep an eye on him."

Angel again glanced to Emet-Selch, then back to Shoto; his expression was still worried. The White Mage bit his lip, then pinned his ears back. "...I don't really want to leave you alone with him either. I'd feel just as guilty if something happened to you than I would not telling my husband about what we just did." Angel heard the hissed snicker from the back of his mind, which didn't help the tightening knot in his stomach.

"I understand," Shoto nodded, "but I should be fine. I'd rather not leave him alone."

As they spoke, Emet-Selch finished his tea, sat the cup and saucer on the bedside table, then cleared his throat. "My thanks for the meal, but while you two conduct your...private business, I'm going to rest. I'll need my strength if I'm to keep up with you two."

Both Miqo'te jumped at his response, ears perked as if they hadn't heard correctly, then looked directly at the Ascian. Shoto spoke first, a bit of panic in her tone.

"What do you mean 'keep up with us'?!" He lazily turned his back to them laying his head against the pillow.

"Hoh...? I mean what I say. Someone has to keep your decisions from becoming dangerously poor, no? Especially given what we've learned today. On the morrow, dear heroes.

The Ascian yawned and gave a lazy half-wave as he finished speaking, then closed his eyes with a small, triumphant smirk on his face...

Shoto and Angel both took a moment to process his proclamation-- he clearly meant to follow along with the party in the morning.

Shoto looked back at Angel, to see that the look on his face said he had realized it too.

"Well, I," she gestured to the door, "I guess we should... get some rest?"

Angel curled his tail as he nodded to Shoto, still worried.

"If... If that's," he trailed off and pinned his ears back, "N-Now I have to tell Ice... If only to warrrn him... It would be farrr worrrse if he's surrrprised by him in the morning." The White Mage frowned at the thought, then shook his head a little. He moved to leave, still visibly hesitant to leave her alone. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob, then made a face. "Shoto," he turned back to her, "If you need us, forrr anything, y-you know... wherrre ourrroom is... o-okay...?" He winced at the slurred purred words. The thought of trying to explain all of this to Ice without him barreling right back here in five minutes was wreaking havoc on his already frazzled nerves.

Shoto simply nodded as she opened the door for the White Mage to head back. She gave him as reassuring a smile as she could so he'd feel okay leaving her alone for the night.

Angel paused just outside the door, "Just please...be safe…" With that, the Keeper headed back to his room, his thought trying to parse far too much from just the last few hours... and still no clue where to start explaining any of it.

The little voice in his head was not helpful at all in his silent trip up the darkened hallway.

Notes: Artwork this week was done by @angel-lockhart. :3

[Emet-Selch joined your party without your consent.] Really leave the room? [Leave] [Cancel]

This week we referenced the 4th story of the Tales from the Shadows. If you haven't read the side-stories, and are interested in doing so, you can do so here: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/special/tales_from_the_shadows/sidestory_04/#sidestory_04

4 notes · View notes