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nalu4emily · 3 years

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Time To Heal

Summary: 'It was a marathon, not a sprint and with each day he spent with her, pretending to act like his normal self, the more he hoped she'd begin to loosen—only time would tell.' What can Natsu do to heal her aching heart? Especially when she's reluctant to tell him what happened.

NALU friendship/ hurt/ comfort.

Please be aware of the trigger warning. Do not read unless 18+. Contains sensitive content.

She was crying again; that much was certain. The sound of sniffles and wet droplets cascading down her cheeks, splattering across the desk she so often sat at, echoed deep into his ears. Her whimpers pulled at him the most. She tried so hard to keep them locked away, to defy her true feelings, but they managed to seep through every time.

It hurt him, to know that she was suffering so painfully, so inconsolably, and there was simply nothing he could do to stop it. He'd waited for her; to speak; to tell him what'd really happened that night, and relieve herself of the burden that weighed so heavily on her shoulders.

It haunted her every waking moment; he knew that. Even at night, she'd rouse so suddenly, coated in sweat, shivering, and desperate for his warm touch. It seemed to be the only thing that could soothe her frantic heart, especially when the tears started. Her behaviour wasn't all that different during the day either and Natsu had nearly given up hope that she'd ever tell him, making the guilt he felt for not being there all the more consuming.

The state he'd found her in the next morning, bloodied, clothes torn and completely broken, tormented his thoughts daily, and the way he'd reacted to it, even more so. Through the despair and anger at finding her so badly hurt, he'd raged through the streets of Magnolia, hunting down the bastard he could smell all over her apartment.

It wasn't hard to dissect what'd happened to her, the slayer just wasn't sure how far it'd gone. He'd learnt quickly not to ask questions though or risk losing her trust entirely. It was a marathon, not a sprint and with each day he spent with her, pretending to act like his normal self, the more he hoped she'd begin to loosen—only time would tell.

Having procrastinated long enough, the young mage jumped up to her window, and let himself in like always. Plastering the biggest smile he could muster onto his face, he greeted the girl hunched over her desk, right where he knew she'd be and tried to remain positive in such a ghastly situation.

"O-Oh, uh… Hi, Natsu! I didn't see you there." Her eyes locked onto his for barely a moment before turning away, wiping her cheeks to rid them of their wetness with her used, snot-laden tissue. She turned around to face him, her gaze never quite meeting his as a small, weak smile graced her lips, "Where's Happy?"

"Probably eating a fish somewhere… Or at the guild giving it to Carla, you know what he's like." He shrugged, his expression remained light and cheery, while his narrowed pupils latched onto her every movement, much like a predator stalking its prey, "I thought I'd come over and see if ya felt up to going on a mission soon. I snagged some pretty good ones for you to take a look at, if you're interested?"

"Sure… that sounds like fun. W-Why don't I make us some lunch? Then we can pick out a good one together." Lucy hopped up from her chair all too eagerly, desperate to remove herself from his watchful gaze.

She was avoiding him; but that was hardly new. He knew the reason why—the unshed tears in her eyes evidence of that, not that he cared what she looked like. She did it for a matter of pride, wanting him to see only the Lucy he knew so well, and not the damaged one she’d become. He, as much as anyone, wanted to see that smile light up her face once more, the brilliant one that shined as bright as the stars she wielded; what he wouldn’t give to see that again…

Gathering the request papers in his hand, he followed her into the kitchen and leaned himself up against the doorway, smiling as he watched her get to work, “Hey Luce, this one looks kinda good. I think we should definitely consider it.” But she didn’t answer, nor even look at him. If it weren’t for their close proximity, he would have assumed she hadn’t heard him. “Lucy, did you hear me?”

She remained silent, instead her body began to tremble, her face wet with tears once again and her hands drawn to cover them on instinct.

“Luce, I didn’t hear you.” He cautiously walked over to her shaking form, carefully reaching out to place his hand on her shoulder, while the other drew her body in and held her tight, “Lucy...”

"I...I-I can't do this any more…" The blonde spoke quietly, removing her hands from her face and placing them onto his chest.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice gentle as if speaking to a spooked animal.

"This." She gestured to the two of them, "Pretend, Natsu. I-I'm tired of pretending like everything's fine, when it's so obviously not." She felt his hand clasp at her cheek, wiping the tear droplets away with his thumb. His familiar warmth soothed her aching heart as she leaned into it, finding comfort there that only he could provide. "I-I'm sorry. You must be so sick of seeing me cry all the time!"

The tears flowed freely now, pulling at his heart strings as well as his own unshed tears, but he would never so selfishly let them show. He cradled her closely, wanting nothing more than for her to feel safe in that moment, like he would protect her from everything, should she so wish. It was the first time Lucy had addressed the very unfortunate situation they found themselves in, and he wasn’t about to ruin it all now by letting his own emotions take over.

She tucked herself into the crook of his neck and breathed in his familiar scent, calming her nerves as she relaxed into him. This is the way they'd always worked, one picking the other up in their time of need and carrying both of their weights should they need to, and Natsu was approaching this no differently.

Once she'd calmed down enough, he picked her up and carried her to her bed, perching them both down on it so that they could get comfortable. She was ready to finally tell him, he could see it in her eyes, and as apprehensive as he was about hearing it, all he needed to do was listen.

"I think you need to tell someone, Lucy. Whether that's me, or someone else, it's not good to keep it all bottled up." He explained, as she pulled away slightly, but not enough to fully let go of him.

"I-I know… It's just hard to relive something you spend every waking moment trying to forget." She sniffled once more, wiping her nose this time on her sleeve. "Can we at least lay back first?" Her voice was so timid and insecure, nothing like the Lucy he knew.

"Sure thing!" He laid himself back against the pillows, kicking his sandals off and placed one arm behind his head while the other was outstretched for her to lean upon. "Come lay here, Luce."

Doing what he said, she cuddled up to his side, laying her hand and cheek against his shoulder and felt his arm encircle her waist, "I… don't really know where to begin… It all seems such a blur, yet I remember every single bit of it."

He kept quiet, caressing his thumb against her hip as a way of encouraging her instead.

She began slowly, starting from where she'd left the guild hall that night, "It was kinda strange I guess… not having you there to walk me home like normal, it never feels right without you around…" She chuckled half-heartedly, before clearing her throat. "I remember walking along the canal when this bad feeling came over me… But, I just put it down to being alone in the dark and kept going.”

She shifted closer to him, subtly indicating that what she was about to say, made her uncomfortable at the very least.

"When I reached the apartment building, I noticed the window was slightly open, even though I knew I’d shut it. I must’ve just thought that you’d come home early from your mission, or something." She fidgeted again, this time her legs began to tangle with his, giving away her anxiety and fear. “It was only once I walked into the room, did my blood run cold. It was dark and empty, and you were no where to be seen. It felt… wrong.”

"You mean they were already in the house?" Natsu asked, feeling himself tense as he looked across the small room, imagining her words play out before him.

"Mm, and by the time I'd reached for my keys, it was too late." She shivered once again, the memories making it hard to concentrate. "H-He came out from behind, shoving me against the wall and pinning my arms above my head." A fresh set of tears began to cascade down her delicate cheeks, her breathing heavier than before and her fingers gripping at his jacket tightly. "I…I remember struggling a lot, trying to kick him away, but it was no use, he was just too strong. I felt so overpowered and small and weak, and all he did was laugh."

Natsu clenched his jaw, realising now that this was about to get a whole lot darker and he could barely keep himself from raging all over again, but he kept himself controlled this time, for Lucy's sake—that was the last thing she needed.

"That's when it started…" She gulped down a large breath, steadying herself as she divulged further, "His hands; his mouth; his… teeth. I-I can still feel them… on me, crawling across my skin."

Natsu's eyes widened, turning to the blonde who refused to look him, and gasped, "He touched you!? Where?" He asked, a little too forcefully in his own shock.

Unable to say with words, she nodded and used her finger to point at the areas on Natsu's body, starting from the top, "Here," she pointed to his mouth and chin. "Then here," she then grazed over his ear and jaw line, and the next one his neck. Her finger ventured down to Natsu's chest and stomach, where she pointed once more, "And then… there," she managed to wrangle out, pointing down towards his upper thigh.

"You mean… that bastard touched you down-"

"He didn't quite get that far. When I stopped struggling, I think he must've lost concentration, because I managed to pull one of my hands free and grab at his crotch."

She felt Natsu tense at that, having anyone grab hold and squeeze them tight was not a pleasant thought, "I hope you squeezed until your hand hurt, Lucy."

"Well, that was the plan… but he slapped me across the face before I could get any real grip and I landed face down on the floor." Jolting upwards, she ran a shaky hand through her hair, removing the blonde tresses away from her clammy forehead. "Sor- Sorry Natsu, the next bit, is where he… It's the bit, I-I struggle with most…"

Feeling alarmed by her reaction, he sat up too. Fearing the worst, he could only hope she wasn't about to tell him what he'd suspected all along, "It's alright, take your time." He reached his hand out to her, thankful she'd taken it and not pushed him away, "What did he do, Lucy?"

Trying to calm the overwhelming anxiety building within her, she swallowed down the longest breath of air, filling her lungs with much needed oxygen, "I remember smacking my head on the floor… A-And then, I felt his weight on top of me…"

Natsu's breath caught in his throat, snapping his head to the part on the floor Lucy had pointed to and could only imagine how frightened she must have been, "Then what, Luce?" He noticed her hesitancy, wishing he didn't have to ask.

"I-I remember his hand on the back of my head, holding me down, while his other hand lifted up my skirt. He was laughing at me, even as he slid down my underwear." She huddled herself back into a ball by the window, wiping continuously at her red and irritated eyes, "It was then that I realised that my struggle was in vain, that no matter what I did, he was going to… then he…" The tears turned to wails as she tried to continue, "And I've… I've never felt more disgusted! I felt helpless and so pathetic, so desperate for someone to come and save me that I stupidly called out your name, even though I knew you wouldn't hear me… That hope was still there."

Natsu had barely moved, so ashamed of himself for not being there in her time of need that he didn't know what to do with this new information. He felt angry beyond words that some bastard out there was walking free after doing such a horrific thing to his Lucy. But among the anger, there were other feelings; guilt; sadness; frustration; regret; all of them fighting for dominance in his tumultuous mind.

"Lucy…" Was all he could manage, unable to find the right words to tell her how truly sorry he was for not coming to her aid, sickened by the fact that while he wasn’t there, she’d suffered so greatly.

"I was so scared, Natsu!" She started, turning to look at his own sombre expression, "But I knew that if anyone were to come, it'd be you." Lucy's lips lifted in the corners, her smile full of sadness and sorrow, "When he finished, I couldn’t move, and all I remember feeling was coldness of the hard floor, wishing you'd come through that window and warm me up again…"

But that's not what happened, and he felt like the worst best friend in the world because of it. She'd needed a loving hand to lead her away from the pain, to comfort her and protect her from the monster that lurked in the dark, but he’d arrived too late.

He felt his heart sink and his stomach drop, his guilt and regret taking precedence, "I… I, I'm so sorry, Lucy… I never meant to… I didn't think-"

"Like I said, I don't blame you for not being there… It wouldn’t be fair of me to do that. How were you to know?” As much as it hurt her, she knew that had he been there, it would’ve been a totally different story, “I just… I need…”

She couldn’t say it with words, but he knew exactly what she was trying to tell him. She needed him, and that’s exactly what he was going to give her. Without saying a word, he reached forward and pulled the desperate girl back into his chest, enveloping her in that warmth she yearned for more than anything else, and held her as if his life depended on it. He wasn't letting go, not ever, and with every minute that passed with her in his arms, was another second towards healing her shattered heart.

“I’m always gonna be here, Lucy. I promise you.” He whispered into her hair, kissing the top of her head as if she was the most precious thing in the world. “You mean too much to me.”

She snuggled closer, wanting to be as near to him as she could and tightened her grip, “Thank you, Natsu.” With his warmth seeping deep into her cold body, warming her very soul, she relaxed against him, and felt her eyes slowly close, “Thank you...”

I know this was a sad one for nalu day, but I wanted to convey more the bond between them rather than the actual incident. I hope you liked it anyway! :)

#nalu #fairy tail nalu #nalu fanfiction #nalu fanfic #fairy tail #fairy tail natsu #fairy tail lucy #fairy tail fanfiction

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thewhiteroseofvermilion · 3 years

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Moving Forward

Hello everyone. It’s been a long time since I’ve last spoken to you all, and an even longer time since I’ve last updated this story. Over the months and years, my absence has saddened, frustrated, and even angered many of you. Despite my own valid feelings of how—to put it bluntly—I don’t owe any of you anything as this is something I do for free and in my own free time, I still recognize how it must feel for you all to see something you enjoy so much slowly lose momentum and eventually grind to a halt. Furthermore, my habit of making enthusiastic yet empty statements in between didn’t help either.

As such, a proper and honest explanation is due, as anything less would be unkind. This will be lengthy, but please bear with me.

For the past four years, it’s been increasingly difficult to find the time, energy, and motivation for me to properly sit down and write. Seemingly gone are the early days of this story’s life when I was able to publish a new chapter every month or so, or even every two weeks when I was at the top of my game in terms of activeness. Even though I had an immense workload due to being a double major in college, leading me to adopt the best work ethic I’ve ever had, I still led a sheltered lifestyle where I didn’t have to worry about the many looming, inevitable adult responsibilities that were ahead of me.

Those tranquil years of course came to an end when I graduated, and I soon felt immense pressure to shift my attention to finding work, living independently, and working on things that would further my career. While I received support as an aspiring writer from the majority of my family, those being my mother and sister, the both of them commented more frequently as time passed by that my “fanfiction” wasn’t something that I should be spending so much time on anymore. After all, it’s not like I could sell the work as my own, and the fact that despite fanfiction absolutely being a valid artform, it wasn’t something that the world of professional employers cared about.

Nonetheless, when I did eventually find work as a film freelancer, I still tried to persevere and write on the side. My goal back then was to work in film in order to sustain my pursuit in writing. Film was something I went to school for, greatly enjoyed, and even saw a possible future career for myself in, but it was the writing aspect of it that I was truly after, that being primarily screenwriting.

After two years of living at home, I felt the need to try and live independently as I outgrew my tiny room and my mom started dating a man that I didn’t particularly like. I knew it wasn’t financially smart of me to do so when my mom allowed me to live with her rent-free. But at the time I thought that it would help me to become more mature and productive, as I would have to force myself to work in order to put a roof over my head and food on the table—as opposed to living a sheltered life at home where everything was taken care of for me. Essentially, I was longing for the lifestyle I had in college, thinking that once I returned to it, I would be able to reacquire that once incredible work ethic I had.

So, I became roommates with a friend from college and together we rented a townhouse together. Rent wasn’t terribly expensive, but it wasn’t cheap either. Regardless, I was able to make ends meet. My greatest challenge however, was to live up to my family’s spoken and unspoken expectations. On one hand, my mother was sweet and understanding, naturally giving me her full support. My father, on the other, always thought that it’d be better for me to pursue something safer and more lucrative, and to not risk being a starving artist. But the one I had to prove myself the most to was my older sister, who was wildly more successful than I was—financially and professionally. My pay compared to hers was like a drop in a bucket, and I felt both indirect and direct pressure from her to be more “professional” like her. Therefore, I threw myself into my work, which is when things slowly began to go downhill.

As a film freelancer, my work hours usually averaged between 10-12 hours a day, and with my work taking me all over my home state of Maryland and even into neighboring Washington DC and Virginia, my commute time to and from work ranged anywhere from an additional 1-3 hours. It became incredibly common for me to wake up for work anywhere between 3-6 AM and not get home until 8-10 PM.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I slowly slipped into a routine where when I did have the “time” to write, I had zero energy or motivation as my work was so taxing. I reached the point where I had to drink two energy drinks with 300mg of caffeine to get myself to and from work. I saw less and less of my roommate and friends. I spent an alarming amount of money and gained weight from ordering take-out so often because I hadn’t the energy to cook for myself when I got home late from work. There would even be days when I fell into what felt like comas, sleeping up to two days straight at one point. My physical, mental, and emotional health was in serious decline. And yet I didn’t see it that way, as I had become obsessed with trying to prove to my family, my sister in particular, that I wasn’t a failure and that my pursuit of writing wasn’t a hopeless one.

During the first month of COVID-19′s outbreak last year, I finally had a much-needed vacation. This was undoubtedly the best time for me to have returned to writing—but I didn’t. At this point, so much time had passed since my last proper writing session that the few times I did try to write, I found myself completely unable to write anything. I was so out of practice and so out of touch with what I had written. This honestly frightened me, and I soon began to doubt if I could ever be able continue the story with the same quality that so many readers fell in love with. Regrettably, I fled from this revelation long enough for a full month to pass by, and I soon found myself busy with yet another distraction: unemployment.

I was out of work for about 4.5 months, from the middle of March to the beginning of August. During this time, I had to rely on state unemployment, which earned me great scorn from my older sister. Our relationship had always been uneven since we were kids, but it was becoming increasingly toxic as of late since our college years. I felt so ashamed to tell her how much money I made in a year from my job as a film freelancer, and how I barely managed to move to a better position after four years of work. Riddled with guilt and disappointment in myself, when work became readily available again in August, I frantically threw myself back in harder than ever before. In the past where I had turned down the occasional job to give myself some time to relax or in order to make it to a social outing with friends, I now accepted every job thrown my way, only declining those that would make me double-book myself. I earned a lot of money during those months as a result, and I was so happy to finally distance myself from the stigma of being “unemployed.” However, I once again failed to see that I was yet again sliding back into the lifestyle that had been slowly poisoning me for the past two years.

After essentially working non-stop from August to March, my body, mind, and soul soon returned right back to the brink of collapse. It wasn’t until then at my lowest point when I finally realized how I initially went from working to sustain myself in order to write, to not writing at all and only working to sustain myself to work even more. It was truly scary to see myself fall victim to a brutal cycle of unfulfilling work that could have trapped me for years to come if I hadn’t broken free first. That’s when I realized that my lifestyle was personally unsustainable, and that something had to change.

Henceforth, I’ve made the difficult decisions to both transition out of film freelancing and to soon return home to live with my father. At the end of April, the homeowner of the townhouse my roommate and I had been living in for close to three years gave us our 30-days-notice to vacate, as they no longer wished to rent but to sell the property. As my roommate had been planning on finding a place of his own with his girlfriend for quite some time, we split amicably at the end of last month in May and I’ve since moved into a temporary apartment with a friend who has traveled back to Maryland for seasonal work.

Regarding the change in my career, I’ve been looking into applying for writing positions for something that I’ve grown to enjoy over the past few years, which is to write reviews for media such as film, anime, and videogames. This of course is not what I truly want to do in life, but I think that because it actually involves writing, it would be both good practice in terms of practicing my writing and experience in terms of resume-building. Furthermore, a stable “9-5″ job as such would be good for me, I think, as it would introduce some desperately needed structure back into my life. Being a freelancer was definitely fun as I had the power to choose my own schedule, but it unfortunately fostered a lot of laziness and procrastination when I wasn’t completely burnt out.

I’ve shared with you all this information, a great deal of it being very personal, in the hopes that it helps you better understand who I am as a person and what I’ve been going through these past four years.

I understand that my word may be difficult to trust due to my history, but I sincerely wish to let you all know from the bottom of my heart that I do plan on continuing writing The White Rose of Vermilion until it’s completed. My fears and insecurities may have alienated me from that promise, but not once did I ever entertain the idea of fully dropping the story. And I promise you, I never will. It most likely will not further my career in any way, bring any revenue in, and will continue to consume a great deal of my precious free time—yet I still choose to pursue continuing it because I can’t see a future where I don’t finish it.

It is after all my most cherished project; the reason that I was able to truly find my calling as an aspiring writer, its success also ultimately being the proof to my mother that I had some skill as a budding writer, who then gave me her full blessings to pursue it as a career. But most important of all is that it’s the reason why I was able to experience first-hand one of the most important and beautiful discoveries in my entire life. That being the incredible phenomenon of how art is like a beacon—its bright light is powerful enough to reach out and inspire others to create art of their own. From Monty Oum to Nancy Phetchareune to myself, I was blessed enough to see readers create wonderful fanart to show me or tell me in a review that reading my story had inspired them to create something of their own.

I am officially leaving behind my prolonged hiatus and returning to working on The White Rose of Vermilion. While I am extremely hesitant to even estimate when the next chapter will be published, please know that I am genuinely trying to leave behind my habits of old and returning to a more consistent schedule.

The White Rose of Vermilion will return in:

Arc II, Chapter Twenty-Seven: Stranger in the Night

#TWRoV #The White Rose of Vermilion

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apathycarestostudy · 4 years

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Any studying, motivation and procrastination tips please? Desperately in need of some before a new academic year starts.

Hello hello! Yes! I’m sorry I took a bit to get back to you with these - I just wanted to give you the best I got. So here ya go, I mixed up everything you asked for in a couple of strong tips. I’ve divided into preparing for the new semester, study tips, and then procrastination tips with a sprinkle of motivation all over it.

Prep:

Sooo the academic year is right around the corner (or dreadfully yet, already here), and you need to shift to get with the times. Fixing your sleep schedule? Getting your syllabus ready? That’s all important and good, but how do you keep the determination strong as the first few weeks go by? How to prepare better?

make a lessons learned note

I learnt this from my internship. It’s a good practice that after a project, you take some time to review what happened during the project and create a final report, concluding it with a couple bullet points of the lessons you learnt from it. If you need a feel of what that looks like, here’s my lessons learned from last semester:

Using OneNote is a waste of time

If you don’t keep up in the beginning, you’re going to show up for attendance and give the bare minimum to move on

You need to learn how to speak up during class - you know the answer, what’re you so nervous about?

Don’t fear marking up your books - it’s yours??? You paid for it??? Using highlighters are useful if used appropriately

Be careful about helping people - you’ve been caught four times helping friends while they kept stuff from you and got ahead

Y’all I had to stop myself lol. I planned to write my top three, but then kept clicking enter again and again. Well. Now you know my concerns.

Getting back on track though, you should take some time to write down the stuff you learned from last semester’s experience to know what you’re going to take with you, and what you’ll quit doing. It’s a strong, positive start, and it prevents you from making the same mistakes again.

delete/move stuff off your phone + organize your laptop’s folders

It’s better to keep our phones clear and ready for the new semester’s mess, right? I have a bunch of screenshots, and files, and notes on my phone that I don’t need to keep anymore, but I’m a bit of a hoarder :))) I like to keep stuff in case I wanna look back, be that girl people just know has something they’d need, or hell if I need to retake a class (it’s happened unfortunately). Maybe you got a junior you want to pass your stuff along to. So what do you do? Move it to your laptop of course!

Well, that’s what I do. If you don’t have a laptop, you can upload it somewhere (google drive etc.), attach them on emails, anything that works for you! There’s always somewhere you can put your stuff that’s private and safe.

That goes into my next point - be sure to take the time to reorganize your spaces now. Since I put it on my laptop, I organize my folders to my liking, make sure everything is where it should be with older ones, and create new ones for the coming semester. Just pop on some music, sit down and get cracking. It gives me a pleasant feeling after I look at everything when I’m done.

set up your calendar/planner!

This is a recurring tip that I think is good enough to reiterate. Whatever method you use to keep track of stuff needs to be updated, upgraded, and ready to go! If you’ve used something that failed mid-way through last semester, or you didn’t like but had to keep with it because you were in too deep, put that in your lessons learned record. Here’s your chance to change to a better system. It’s fine if you already started your new term - it’s still early enough to switch/set up a new one!

Make sure you don’t overdo it though. The point of this is to keep track of, say, assignments and quiz dates, not spend an unnecessary amount of time organizing and stuff and falling into the pit of preparing to study. If it works for you and has been working for you - keep going! But if it’s taking time and having any negative correlation to your performance, it’s better to do away with it than to keep going and have it be another lesson learnt next semester. I’ll be the first to say that I tried setting up a bujo for myself - bought markers and washi tape and all - and I gave up after three days of using it. And I set up an entire month and then some. It hurt my soul to admit that it was a waste of time for me, and not keep beating at it, but I did, and now it’s sitting here mocking me everyday. But I have time to watch it mock me ;)

My go-to organizational system: Microsoft To-do (not sponsored :((), phone’s calendar, phone’s notepad. That’s it.

create a night routine

People usually say fixing your sleep schedule and having a night/morning routine is good, but in my opinion, a night routine is stronger than both. For some reason, for the life of me, I can’t get my sleep schedule right unless some force stops me from staying awake. I tried getting in bed early and throwing my phone across the room - but I’d lay there for hours thinking about the next day so I don’t bother anymore. The morning routine just ruins my mood because I’d either fail miserably and feel worse, or feel overwhelmed. It’s better if both happen either circumstantially or organically for me.

Night routines set an easy-going mood, and it’s full of potential because it also sets the scene for the next day. By night routine, I don’t mean what you do before you sleep, I mean the consecutive things you do every night. For example, I play a round of games with my siblings (card games and board games), then shower, do my skin care routine (wash-toner-moisturizer that’s it lol), watch a video as I’m combing my hair (and then watch a couple more), feed my turtle, and then see what I want to do. Sometimes I sleep right after, other times I’m on my phone or reading a book. But just this set of recurring events calms me down when my life is chaotic, and it’s easier and more doable than morning routines for me.

Action:

Now we’ve set the scene, so it’s action time (I’m so lame).

don’t let work pass you by

In regards to studying, this is the - BIGGEST - tip I can ever give you. The ironic thing is, it’s still going to happen no matter how much you try, and that can damper your mood and your drive, but here’s my tip: MILK IT FOR ALL IT’S WORTH!!

If you know it’s going to happen eventually, don’t let it affect you - focus all your efforts not in doing it everyday, but maintaining it for as long as you possibly can. Don’t let your studies pass you for even a second. Work it like you work a job as long as you can, and you’ll end up surprising yourself on how much you had completed when you gotta review for quizzes and exams.

You know how they say exercise and earn your shower everyday? How about study and earn your play time everyday :)))

if it does, work backwards

So we’re here. You’re behind by two weeks. Like I mentioned up there, we knew we were going to end up here eventually (and if you didn’t, share your ways lol. no matter how much I cred myself with studying and getting shit done, I still don’t know what’s going on), so now what do we do? Work backwards. The prof/teach is at point S and you’re still curling the bottom of J? Start from S and go to R, then Q, then P....while maintaining the new stuff you’re learning after S. Pinch it in. We should aim to follow the class as much as we can so it’s more effective to study backwards and keep going with it. It’ll also help killing the thing that’s refusing to let you go faster with the beginning stuff, and you’ll be reviewing what you learnt in real time along with the class.

Don’t know why I said the previous tip was the best I had to offer when we both know that this one is the real G.

pathetic notes are still notes

This one is a weird one - I had an issue with notes for a beat. I have this belief that you should always make notes every class, no matter how much new stuff you learn, but then there’ll be days where I write three lines and it just hurts my soul for some reason. I guess it’s the incomplete page? The three lines I’ll add tomorrow and face this again? Not sure. But whatever it is, do not stop writing notes! If you learn something new that’s not written anywhere, or hell you just wanna jot it down somewhere more accessible, always write it down, no matter how pathetic your notebook’ll look. I had to get over that, so I thought it would be good to mention. Always. Take. Notes. Nothing is too much information on the race to securing your livelihood.

If you can’t get over it, maybe try printing the slides and making your notes on the borders. I started doing this for more technical courses that don’t get a lot of notes, and it works really well having it in one place.

(I should pin a picture, idk, I’m really proud of it.)

starting strong is good, consistency is even better

In the end, that person who walks in stronger than last semester are plenty, but the one who wins in the end is always that one person - what makes them different? They don’t watch the ones who’re running strong in the beginning and mess up their pace by either trying to keep up with them, do more, or discourage them. They maintain a consistent effort and benefit in the end. It’s the story of the hare and the turtle - consistent, slow effort beats rushing and getting out of fuel in the last stretch.

There was this one semester where it seemed like half my class decided that they were all going to be on all of a sudden, and it threw me off, made me insecure, and then I started comparing myself to them. The only thing that saved me was that I kept my consistent effort in the meantime because I had consequences if I didn’t perform - so at the end of it, it didn’t matter how hard they started. Only two out of the thirteen elevated their rank. And I was where I needed to be, so that feeling was wasted.

Well, not completely wasted now since I’m telling you. Focus on yourself. Stay consistent. It’s good to be aware of where everyone is, and use it to motivate you, but no negative feelings that’ll hold you back. Release it.

(also pro-tip: teachers don’t care about the loud ones, they care about the consistent ones)

Procrastination:

Now we got the ball rolling - how to avoid this monster? Also, if you still haven’t gotten the ball a-tumbling,

what do you fear?

Oftentimes it’s the fear of something that hinders us from starting. My common fears that keeps me procrastinating are fear of failure, fear of taking too long and wasting time, fear of finding out how little I know of the thing I haven’t learnt yet - I could keep going forever. It’s easier ignoring it and treating it like it’s not there than to face it, I know. But we wanna be better, so how can we?

Write down what you feel, get it out, and then study. A lesson I learnt from last semester was that journalling before I studied helped immensely. Just try it for a session - get out what you’re thinking about, and end it with an action item (I’m going to do xyz now) and then do it. It’s like a weight being lifted off of you. I’ve never felt so light studying in my life, I feel.

do, don’t tell yourself you will, do

shameful self plug: read this to see what I mean (specifically the you don’t need a lot to get started ramble)

don’t take on more than you can chew

Something that can kill your grind is if you overwhelm yourself by tying yourself down to things you know you won’t be able to handle later on. It kinda plays off the doing too much in the beginning - you’re setting yourself for failure if you don’t think through your decisions, and then fall into procrastination with the things that’d breed the most consequence. So be careful.

I’m not saying don’t apply yourself - it’s really good to get as much experiences (fun and useful) as you can. But don’t let it be at the expense of what matters. Your health, your faith, your studies - all these things matter more than....insert something here....yeah.

start everyday intentional, end every night with intentions

I’ll end it with this. Start your day intentional on getting stuff done, and you can cleanly avoid procrastinating. End it with good intentions for the next one, and you’ll keep this habit going. Whatever that is, finding your happy place, making a to-do list, praying, journalling, talking to someone - always try to wake up with the mindset that this’ll be your day, and end it with a pat on your back and a promise to do better - if you managed or not. Everyday is a new chance. Every midday is a chance. Now is your chance. It’s just a matter of being hungry and taking it.

Ooof I took water breaks writing this, and it still felt like I had more to say. Sorry for the length lol - I hope this helped in any way. And good luck! New semester, same you, new mindset, better results ;)) (I’m so lame lol).

By the way y’all, if you happen to be loud and consistent, share those tips also lol.

Here’s to our collective success!

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twilight-love-nochu · 4 years

Text

Secrets kept & unpaid Bills | myg

⇴ pairing: Suga x Reader

⇴ genre: tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff

⇴ summary: Y/N has some unpaid bills but she keeps it from Yoongi because she doesn’t want him to think that she is in the relationship for his money, causing some conflicts between the two lovers.

⇴ warnings: financial problems; mention of arguments

⇴ tagging: @yoongisqueenn

⇴ notes: I am so unbelievably sorry that this took so long to write. I had so much to do for school and honestly I was also a bit lazy not going to lie hehe sorryyyy. Hope this is good enough and close to what you expected, thank you for your recommendation!! xx

⇴ word count: 2.1k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were running around in your house rushing to get ready for your date with your boyfriend Yoongi who was going to be here in approximately half an hour. If you learnt one thing about him in the 5 months of your relationship, it was that Yoongi was never, and I mean never, late. Don’t get me wrong, his habit of punctuality was a real blessing most of the time, but at other times, like today, where you really needed an extra 30 minutes, it could also be a real curse.

You didn’t actually mean to be this late and it’s not like you had been loafing around and procrastinating all day. Actually, today you had to attend your 3-hour lesson at university this morning, then work at your part-time job at the university’s library and then rush to your other part-time job at the restaurant. You had scheduled your date with Yoongi so that you had enough time to get home after your shift and get ready but your colleague chose this exact day to come in late so you had to stay 45 minutes longer until she got there. Needless to say you loved your job.

“Why don’t you just quit?” You may ask. Well simply because you needed the money. Your family wasn’t the richest and since you were fourth out of five children and your parents already had to pay for your siblings university tuitions, food, appartements and other necessities not much money was left for you. So you had to finance most of those things yourself. You had found two jobs that you had to juggle between. The two jobs barely even gave you the money you needed but there unfortunately are not enough hours in a day for you to get another job. And honestly your nerves would not have kept up with that either.

This month you were particularly stressed: your parents couldn’t send you the money for your food like they usually do so you had to pay for it yourself. Because that, you didn’t have enough money to pay your rent for the month and had yet to figure out how you would come up with the money to pay the bills laying on the coffee table of your living room.

Anyway, at the moment the only thing you had in mind was being ready in time. You dashed into your bathroom to take a quick shower. Your clothes hit the floor and you made your way into the shower. Warm water hit your naked shoulders trying to wash all the stress from the day away but you barely had time to register it as you started shampooing your hair in a hurry.

About five minutes later you walked out of the shower refreshed, dried yourself and took out your hair dryer. Usually you would have let your hair dry naturally since you found it gave you less frizz but you didn’t have any time for that at the moment, so you settled with using the dryer and putting your hair in a slick bun.

Just as you finished your hair style- which took you 20 too long minutes- and hurried into your room to dress and put some makeup on, you heard the front door unlock. It was most probably your boyfriend whom you had given a spear key to your appartement to.

“Darling? I’m here.” Your expected guest called. You peeked your head outside your bedroom door to see him taking his shoes of by the entrance.

“I’m sorry Yoongi, give me 15 minutes and I’ll be ready, yeah?” You sighed, feeling a guilty to make him wait.

“It’s okay” he smiled that smile that always gave you butterflies as he saw you “ I came a bit earlier anyway. Take your time.” You smiled in return and went back into your bedroom. Your boyfriend was always the sweetest.

Yoongi decided to wait for you on the couch. To say that he was excited for your date was an understatement. Lately, you two hadn’t been seeing each other much and he missed you quite a lot. He did try to call you and go on meet with you but you would never pick up the phone and always cancel, saying you were busy but you never told him what you were doing, as many times as he asked. As any person would, he started to have some doubts about you but quickly came to senses, knowing that cheating was something you would never do as you cherished trust and faithfulness very much. He trusted you. Still he wanted to know why you would avoid him. So one day, he went to your apartment to get answers but it didn’t work very well. You two ended up having your first big fight and on top of that he didn’t even get the answers he was looking for. But you two talked it out and ended up scheduling a date because he felt bad for starting a fight and you felt bad for always letting him down.

Still you didn’t want to tell him that the reason you had no time for him was because you were busy working. Yoongi didn’t know about your financial problems and you honestly didn’t want him to find out. Not because you were embarrassed- well maybe a little to be honest- but because you knew your boyfriend and you knew he was going to want to help and pay for everything because that is just how caring and kind Yoongi is. You, on the other hand, didn’t want him to do so because you were an independent (and prideful) woman who would not depend on any man- except maybe her father- and on top of that you always felt bad when someone spent money on you no matter if it was only for a sandwich, so spending so much was out of the question. Therefore you deemed it better not to tell your boyfriend about your problems. But little did you know that said boyfriend was going through the bills laying on your coffee table.

You walked out of your bedroom finally done and made you way into you living room and now stood at the entrance with Yoongi’s back to you“ Sorry for the wait, babe. I’m ready now, we can go.” Yoongi didn’t answer seemingly concentrated on something. Frowning you walked over to him. “ Babe? Wh-“ You froze as you got close enough to catch a glimpse of what was taking up his whole attention. Your bills.

Only then does he lift his gaze up to you. “Y/N what are these?” Shit. You didn’t know what to say. You knew he was going to find out eventually but you were planning on telling him one day and you did not wxpwct him to find out like that. What were you supposed to do now?

“Why didn’t you pay your rent Y/N? Are you having money problems?” You stood there helpless, not knowing what to say to him nor how to explain to him why you never told him about your problems. “Are you going to answer me?”

One thing that kind of irritated you with Yoongi was his poker face. You could never tell what he was feeling or thinking if he didn’t actually tell you. So right now you weren’t sure if he was mad or upset or concerned which made you quite anxious as you didn’t know how exactly you should approach the situation.

After a moment you took a deep breath and sat down on the couch close to your boyfriend but still leaving a little bit of space between you two. “ Yes I’m having money problems. My parents can’t afford to pay for my tuition and rent so I’m usually the one who pays for that. That’s why I’m always busy, I have to work two jobs to afford everything. Anyways this month my parents couldn’t send me money for food and necessities like they usually do, so I had to pay for that myself, which is why I now don’t have enough money for my rent. I’m sorry I never told you this before.” By the end of this your voice was shaking and tears were building up in your eyes-though you tried desperately to blink them away- as you finally let all the stress for your busy and problem-filled life out. You never actually complained about your life, but you were still young and obviously you just wanted to see your boyfriend, hang out with your friends or just chill at home, but you couldn’t afford to do any of those things.

Yoongi just sat there and silent with an ever so stoic look on his face, which did not do anything to help your nerves. After a moment he finally expressed himself. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me. I thought we were both taking this relationship serious.” Now you weren’t so sure if you were happy about him responding.

“I am! I swea-”

“Well apparently not because you didn’t trust me enough to tell me something so important.” You could hear the pain through is harsh words. It wreaked you. You didn’t mean to hurt him like that.

“Please don’t say that, baby. You know I trust you.” At this point you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You turned your

“Then why didn’t you tell me Y/N? I just don’t understand. This is obviously to much for you and I could have helped you, you know that.”

“Yes I know, and that’s the problem, Yoongi. I don’t want you to spend money on me. I know you only want to help but it just make me uncomfortable. It makes me feel like a gold digger and I don’t want you to think that I’m only with you for you money because I’m not.” You couldn’t help the crack in your voice nor the tears streaming down your face.

That’s when Yoongi finally turned to you and sighed. He lifted his hand up to your face and and carefully wiped your tears away, though fresh ones came to replace the old ones.

“Darling. Look at me.” He gently lifted your chin up. “I’m your boyfriend, if I don’t help you, if I’m not here for you, then what’s my purpose?” He said with a chuckle “And you don’t have to worry about me thinking of you as a gold digger because I won’t. Plus if I’m the one who is offering it to you there is no reason to worry about it. And please don’t feel bad about me spending money on you. We’re a team anyway. What’s mine is yours, okay?”

“But-”

“So I will help you out, at least for this month, even if you don’t want me to. Because first off I can’t see you suffer like that without doing anything and second of all helping you would mean you not having to work two jobs anymore, which would also mean, you having more time for me.” He ended with a smirk, pulling you closer to him.

You giggled “Even if you help me out, I’ll still to keep my jobs because I’m definitely paying you back, no arguing about that.” You gave him Eskimo kisses.

“Well then I could get you a job at BigHit, I heard there’s a shortage of staff. Or even better: you could come live with me.” You laughed out loud. A playful grin showed up on your boyfriend’s handsome face.

“Live with you and the boys? And we’re will I go if you Film something at the dorms? And honestly I don’t think there is enough space in there.” You snuggled closer to his chest.

“True. But I meant the first one though. I can a really find you a job at the company. That way you can pay me back-even though you don’t have to- and we can see each other more often.” Honestly that wasn’t even a bad idea.

“You know what? I could try to get a job there but I want to do that entirely on my own.” You knew why the outcome of Yoongi getting the job for you would be. Having to face gossiping and bad-mouthing from your colleagues and you weren’t up for that.

“An Independent Queen.” He sighed and kissed your temple.

“That’s how I am.” You shrugged with a smile and pecked your lover’s lips.

“I’m really sorry I kept this from you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You looked into his dark eyes, showing him your sincerity.

“I know, but the date will make up for the hurt. By the way you look beautiful baby.”

“Well I hope so, you don’t even know how hard it was getting ready in 2x speed.” You laughed as you got up, pulling your man up at the same time to get going.

“Promise me that the next time you have a problem,you will come to me?” Yoongi stopped you from making your way towards the front door.

“Promise.”

#bts #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts suga #bts yoongi #kpop scenarios #bts angst #bts fluff #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fics

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delimeful · 5 years

Text

cut clean from the dream (1/3)

warnings: person being treated as merchandise, mentions of murder/injury, panic, fear, crying, sharp implements, feeling trapped

A small bell’s ring echoed through the small store as the door was pushed open, the first customer of the day.

Logan couldn’t see them from his shelf, but he heard the rapid footsteps of the shopkeep emerge right on schedule, approaching them with vigor.

“Hello! Anything in particular I can help you with today?”

“Uh…” An uncertain voice, low in contrast to the shopkeeper's shrillness.

Logan sighed, tuning the conversation out and turning away from the mid-morning light. The rounded bottle he was in wasn’t great for sleeping, which was a shame, seeing as being trapped as merchandise in a local potions shop was already enough of a nightmare.

He’d love to pretend that he had no idea how this had happened, but what it really came down to was his own foolishness. It had only taken investigating the bag of a hitchhiker who came back earlier than expected, and his habit of trying to glean knowledge from humans got him well and truly captured, passed from hand to hand in sales until he wound up here. Far from home, and everything he’d ever known, and Patton.

His gossamer butterfly wings fluttered, agitated, and he sat back up. There was really no point trying to get back to sleep with such thoughts hammering against his skull, and the shopkeep was busy jumping around the store with loud, heavy steps anyways. He rested his chin on his hand to watch the man go by, figuring he could at least see what this new customer looked like.

He didn’t expect the two humans to stop right in front of him. He stiffened, suddenly straining to hear the words properly through the glass.

“-have any stock left of severed wings, unfortunately, our next order comes in around three or four days. However, as you can see here, we do have a fairy with wings intact! It’ll be a little pricier, obviously, but I can give you a discount for the trouble!”

The customer was a tall, skinny figure draped in black from his cloak-like apparel to his makeup, staring at Logan with dark purple eyes. Definitely a witch, going by the sigil tattoos along the patches of visible exposed skin. Logan narrowed his eyes back at him, trying to look like trouble. It’d be much easier to just come back after a few days than deal with the delicate process of shredding the wings from a fairy. The witch dragged his gaze over to the shopkeep, looking exhausted.

“I don’t need a whole fairy. You seriously don’t have any wings in stock? Like, in the back or anything?” He asked, looking already resigned to the answer.

“Afraid not, that is a rather rare ingredient with the elusiveness of fairies.” The shopkeep hummed. “Is this a budget thing? If you’re willing to wait a few hours, I can call in our alchemist and have him harvest this fairy and get you just the wings for a lower price.”

Logan felt the color drain from his face, hopes shattered. He looked away from the human’s piercing gaze, trying to keep the dizzying panic from overwhelming him. He’d heard the stories. He’d known it would turn out this way since he got captured. It wasn’t a surprise, just an unpleasant eventuality.

“Ugh.” The witch pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. “Just… I’ll take the fairy.”

“Excellent!” The shopkeep clapped cheerily as Logan’s stomach dropped. He whisked the glass bottle off the shelf, hurrying over to the register and leaving Logan sprawled on the clear bottom of it, watching the ground below whiz by. He grimaced as the bottle was set down, shoving against the glass wall to prop himself back up and scoop his glasses up off the bottom of the bottle.

The transaction took place over his head, and then long fingers wrapped around the glass, and he was lifted up again, slower this time. The bottle was carefully tucked into a pocket of the cloak, and everything went dark and muffled. For a while, Logan’s world was reduced to the small gap of light and noise from the pocket opening, swaying with the momentum of the human’s steps.

He pressed up against the lid of the bottle despite knowing it was futile. The enchantment on it held strong, and would remain that way until it was opened from the outside by his new captor. He’d only have one chance at escape. He’d have to use it wisely.

The noise overhead died down, and a door thudded closed. There was some muffled conversation, another door, and then finally quiet. Logan braced himself just in time for the hand to grab the neck of the bottle, pulling him back into the light.

Even after the darkness of the pocket, the room wasn’t blinding. It seemed dimly lit, heavy black curtains over the windows and halloween-themed fairy lights strung on the walls. Logan blinked. It was still the summer months, was it not?

His attention was drawn back to the witch as he set the bottle on his desk, sighing as he sat heavily on the chair in front of it. Logan refused to flinch as he leaned in to look at the bottle, face warped oddly by the glass. The witch scrubbed his hands through his hair and sighed again, pulling a piece of wide parchment out and scrawling a sigil on it with a red ink pen that smelled suspiciously of iron.

A moment later, Logan’s prison was finally being opened, and he stumbled as the jar was tilted on its side, opening resting on the human’s palm. He seized the opportunity, kicking off the glass wall to propel himself out of the jar into fresh air.

A second after he flitted out, there was a sudden yank on his leg, and he found himself dragged down to the desk below by a shackle made of thick, shadowy magic.

“Yeah, thought that might happen.” The witch said, voice resonating through Logan now that he wasn’t hearing it from behind a wall of glass. The shackle finished retracting back to the sigil, leaving him pinned down by his leg, and the witch pushed him over with a finger. Logan had the sense to flare his wings out so they wouldn’t get crumpled painfully beneath him, but this left him flat on his back and vulnerable. He shuddered, wings slapping against the wood ineffectively.

Above him, the witch was casually pulling some kind of tool from a drawer, and Logan felt a flare of irritation break through his fear. He opened his mouth before he could think better of it. “You could not just wait for three measly days? Truly?

The witch paused, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. Logan refused to cower, even when the witch leaned his elbows on the desk, arms bracketing either side of him. He glared back despite the chills running down his spine, and the witch snorted.

“Big attitude for someone so small.” He muttered, but he looked tiredly amused rather than angry. “I can’t wait three days, actually, because this project is due in two.”

Great. A procrastinating student was going to be the one to kill him, after trying to learn was what got him into this mess in the first place. He let his head thunk back down onto the desk, eyes stinging with frustrated tears.

“Tell me you at least know how to… how to harvest my wings.” Logan said, bile rising in his throat. He forced himself to keep speaking, his voice coming out sharp. “If I have to spend my last living moments watching an amateur mangle my body, I will be very unhappy.”

“Hey, I’m no amateur. I wouldn’t have bought a whole goddamn fairy if I didn’t know how to...” He gestured vaguely. “You know.”

“Reassuring.” Logan responded dryly, and the witch gave him a half-hearted glare before pulling out a few metallic square rocks.

Weights, Logan realized as they were placed at the outer corners of his wings, pinning them down so that they couldn’t move. His wingspan was large enough that he couldn’t reach the weights with his hands, and his breathing began to speed up as he instinctively tried to pull his wings free, to no avail. After this, he wouldn’t ever move them again. He suddenly wished fervently that he’d gotten more than that brief heartbeat of freedom outside the jar, that he’d at least been able to fly more than a few inches, even if escape was futile.

Movement above him caught his eye, and he realized that the witch was staring down at him with a strange expression, with a sharp metal tool in one hand. He stared at it for a moment, and then decided that he didn’t want to watch himself be taken apart, actually, and closed his eyes, swallowing heavily.

Despite knowing logically that being captured meant he was going to die, being faced with his own imminent mortality still made some primal part of him feel panicked and fearful. Patton would be proud of him, admitting that he did feel things after all.

Oh, stars, Patton. Logan had vanished without even telling him where he was going. The bubbly sprite would never even know what happened to him. He hoped desperately that Patton wouldn’t search for him, wouldn’t get himself in trouble because of Logan’s own foolishness. The pressure behind his eyes finally broke, chest shuddering with barely restrained sobs as his cheeks went wet with tears. And why shouldn’t he cry? What was the point of pride when he’d never get to see the stars or his home or Patton ever again?

“Oh man.” There was a long groan from above him. “Ugh, I can’t do this.”

Logan blinked his eyes open in surprise, squinting through the blurriness of his tears at the human. “What?” He said, voice thick.

Surprisingly, the witch was not hovering over him menacingly with the tool as he’d imagined. Instead, he was slumped back against his chair, rubbing at his eyes and smearing his eyeliner even further. “I’m gonna fail so hard. What kind of witch can’t even kill a fairy?”

“Are you- what?” Logan repeated, still trying to catch up to the implications of his words. The witch sighed, and then leaned down, smudging a thumb over the ink of the sigil and breaking its circle. The shackle dissipated into dark smoke, and Logan stared up at him.

“Are you… not going to kill me?” He asked, voice tinged with disbelief. The witch cringed.

“Nope. I’ve decided fuck this actually, ‘this’ being my life.” He raised a hand and Logan flinched back, anticipating being crushed, but all the witch did was carefully pluck the weights off of his wings.

Before he could change his mind, Logan scrambled to his feet, wings aflutter. The witch ignored him for the most part as he took to the air, turning to his desk and clearing it off, occasionally glancing at Logan as though worried the fairy was going to dive-bomb him. It didn’t seem like the witch wanted to re-capture him at all. Logan hovered lower cautiously.

“You needed to do this for your project. What… changed your mind?” He asked. Clearly, he hadn’t learned his lesson about curiosity, but this human was a strange one.

The witch huffed. “What changed my mind is that according to textbooks, fairies are insectoids with no true sentience, only able to mimic human emotions.” He looked sardonically at Logan. “Does that seem true to you?”

“Ah.” Logan said, getting it. “So, because you believe me to be sentient, you’re… letting me go?”

“Yeah, that’s the long and short of it. I know what real terror looks like, and you weren’t ‘mimicking’ anything. I’m not going to kill a person, no matter how shitty a witch that makes me.” He finished, wiping some dust from his desk before walking to the window and pulling the drapes open.

The warm light of a setting sun poured into the room, and Logan watched as the witch unlatched and then opened his window. “There you go.” He said, and stepped back.

Logan landed on the windowsill, staring at the unfamiliar silhouettes of the buildings around him. He spread his wings out fully and focused on home, on the tug of magic in his core that would guide him back.

Nothing.

He tried again, feeling tears of frustration threatening at the corner of his eyes when his magic remained frustratingly non-responsive.

“Uh, you good?” The witch asked, making him jump in surprise. He had to stop letting his guard down around this stranger.

“No.” Logan responded shortly. “I cannot access my homing magic, and without it I fear I shall not be able to find my way back without being captured again or becoming terribly lost.”

“You can’t access it, huh… Could I, uh… could you show me your wrists?” The witch asked, holding out a hand hesitantly. Logan tilted his head, wary.

“How do I know you won’t simply trap me again?”

The witch rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand. “Okay, I’m not trying to be, like… a jerk. But if I wanted to hurt you or keep you trapped, I would have just done it back when I had you pinned to a table. There’s literally no reason for me to let you go only to con you back into containment.”

“Hm. That is true.” Logan admitted, and flew up to the witch’s hand without fanfare, standing on the edge of his palm. The witch blinked, startled, and Logan presented a hand with an eyebrow raised impatiently.

“Right.” The witch muttered, and leaned in close enough that Logan could have reached out to touch his face. He focused on not being nervous, though it was hard with those eyes locked so intently on him. They seemed to be almost glowing?

The witch retracted, nodding to himself. “Yeah, you’ve got sealing magic on you. It’s human magework, pretty subtle stuff.”

“Can you remove it?” Logan asked immediately, and the witch snorted, jostling him slightly.

“I’m a student, a failing one at that.” The witch bit his lip as Logan’s expression fell. “But I can probably get my hands on some book about sealing magic.”

Logan eyed him suspiciously. “Why would you?”

“Because I want you out of my hair?” The human tried.

“I am not in your hair.” Logan answered, unimpressed with the nonsensical response. The witch sighed.

“How about a deal. You teach me about fairies and their real culture, not the garbage they put in the textbooks, and I’ll help you figure out the basics of human magecraft. Figuring out the sealing magic is out of my depth, though, so you’ll have to tackle that yourself.”

Logan thought the terms through before answering, but there wasn’t much to think on. It was everything he could have wanted, though the human couldn’t have known it. He just had to be careful about what he revealed in case this witch truly was malicious. “Deal.”

“Great.” The witch said, offering his other hand to Logan to shake. “I’m Virgil.”

Logan clasped a hand on Virgil’s fingertip, shaking it once firmly. Virgil’s lip twitched at the movement.

“Logan. When can we get started?” He asked, rising to hover in the air once more.

Virgil’s lips twisted up into a half-smile, and he pulled a worn textbook from the shelf above his desk. “Why not now?”

Logan couldn’t help but return the sentiment, his glow already brightening at the sight of a new source of knowledge.

Despite the rocky start, it seemed to be the beginning of a promising partnership.

#sanders sides #g/t #Giant/tiny #ts virgil #ts logan #fairy #fairy au #writing #my writing #this is a oneshot please dont ask to be tagged thank you!#cut clean from the dream #ccftd #general taglist following

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thepickpocketofdreams · 4 years

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In a shameless Cinderella AU, Prince Adrien goes incognito as Chat Noir to find himself a spouse at the most elaborate masquerade the kingdom has ever seen.

Chapter One: In Which Our Protagonists Are Introduced

“You need to relax.”

“You’re not the one who has to find themselves a spouse at a masquerade ball.” It was precisely six-fifteen in the evening, and Prince Adrien was already looking forward to seeing the guests leave. Under normal circumstances, he would have been in his element modelling for his father – King Gabriel’s elaborate balls, though the guests politely pretended otherwise, were usually an excuse to show off his latest designs. Besides, seeing the ballroom full of people made a pleasant change from the echoing loneliness of the castle in his day-to-day life.

Today’s ball, however, was not “normal circumstances”.

“I thought you were ready to start searching?” Nino, his valet, asked as he unfolded a pair of trousers for later and laid them on the bed.

“I am! I just,” Adrien groaned and dropped down next to the trousers, “I’d just rather do it in my own time. This masquerade feels so…unnecessary.”

Nino hummed a sound that was somewhere between you-have-a-point and masquerade-balls-are-fun-so-quit-complaining, as he pulled a shirt from the wardrobe and squinted at it. “It’s not your style, huh?”

“I’m a model, Nino. Everything’s my style.”

His valet heaved a sigh reserved specifically for the terrible puns that, unfortunately, were not uncommon.

Adrien pouted. “Will you ever appreciate my comedic genius?”

“I will, when your jokes are worth laughing at.”

“Ouch.” The Prince feigned hurt, and Nino chuckled.

“Save the wit for your future spouse.”

“Well that’s an inappropriate thing to say about my-”

They were saved from another terrible, tenuously-linked pun, by a knock at the door. It swung open to admit Kagami, head of the Prince’s security force.

“Good evening, your highness.”

“Kagami! Is everything okay?” Despite her brusque nature, Adrien held a soft spot for his bodyguard. Over the years, she’d proven to be a good friend – willing to listen and sympathise, but more than capable of telling him when to pull himself together in a castle of people intimidated by his title.

“All guards are in place for tonight, but it would help if we knew what you’ll be wearing.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I assume you will be changing into something a little more formal?”

“You would be correct.” Nino picked up Adrien’s mask from where it lay on the windowsill and showed it to her. “Though considering the rate at which he’s been procrastinating, I’ll be surprised if he actually makes it to the ball.”

“Okay fine! I’m changing, I’m changing.” Adrien ducked behind a screen to pull on his formal attire, ignoring the amused look exchanged between the others. “By the way, Kagami, Felix agreed to pose as me so that I can talk to people without panicking them – he’ll be the one in the white swan costume.”

“Thank you for the heads up, I’ll make the guards aware.” Kagami glanced up at the clock. “You have forty minutes. I’ll be at the end of the corridor if you need help wrangling his highness into something resembling a prince, Nino.”

“Thanks, Kagami.”

“I heard that.” Adrien’s hand appeared round the side of the screen to gesture vaguely at her. “I’ll be punctual, I promise.”

“You always are.” With a final nod at Nino, Kagami left the room. Behind the screen, Adrien mumbled as he fiddled with the buttons on his sleeves.

“Need a hand?”

“Please.” Adrien emerged from the screen to hold out his wrists. “I just can’t believe that tonight I’m supposed to meet the person I’ll spend the rest of my life with.”

“And if you don’t?”

“Father says that Princess Lila has…expressed her interest.”

“I see.” Nino pulled a face as he finished buttoning the cuffs. “Well, I’ll be around to point you in the direction of suitable looking guests. And if you’re desperate for a friendly face.”

“Last time you said that, I seem to recall that you vanished off with a certain Lady Alya all night.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

-x-

“You need to relax.”

“But tonight’s the night I might meet Prince Adrien.” Sighing happily, Marinette Dupain-Cheng twirled in front of a mirror, admiring her reflection. On the nearby chaise lounge sat her best friend, Lady Alya Cesaire, who just shook her head.

“Girl, he’s only human.”

“A human who happens to be a Prince!” Marinette clasped her hands. “Not to mention that his father is the best designer of all time, and that Adrien happens to be the most handsome model in the whole kingdom.”

“Well I think his valet gives him a run for his money, but that’s just a matter of opinion.” Alya smoothed down the skirt of her own russet dress. “Just try to keep your cool if you do get the chance to dance with him, yeah?”

“Of course I will!”

“And remember that every eligible person in the Kingdom is attending. So even if you don’t get to dance with the Prince himself, you might still snag yourself a cute lady or lord.”

“I’ll remember.” Marinette touched her hair to check it was still in the two buns that she’d wrestled with earlier. Silver ribbons were twined round each of them to keep them in place, but she wasn’t taking any chances. Not tonight.

Her dress was composed of panels of grey and silver – inspired by the mice that helped with her chores around the bakery each morning. Not the fanciest animal, sure, but Alya had assured her that the Prince prized sweet personalities over preening peacocks.

"Thank you for letting me get ready here, by the way." said Marinette, smoothing out her gloves. "My parents are really busy with the orders for tonight."

"No worries girl. My place is your place, you know that."

They smiled at one another, before Marinette turned back to the mirror and worried at her lip. Alya put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re fine, Mari. You look beautiful.”

“So do you.” she replied. And it was true. Alya’s fox outfit became her, sleek and ruthless and, well…stunning. No wonder the Prince’s valet was head-over-heels for her. “Will Nino be around?”

Alya’s face lit up at the name of her lover. “He said he’ll be there. Though, he might end up having to keep an eye on the Prince, to make sure he doesn’t scare people away with his puns.”

Marinette giggled. Alya (and by extension, Nino) had told her enough stories of the Prince that he felt like a friend. A friend that she hadn’t met yet, but maybe, just maybe, that would change tonight. She’d meet him and he’d flash her that irresistible smile and oh, dancing with him would be wonderful. He’d twirl her under his arm, they’d waltz like they were on clouds and his eyes would just bore into hers and he’d pull her close and –

“Hey Mari, are you even listening?”

“I – ah – of course I’m listening, what do you mean am I listening? I was totally paying attention!”

Alya rolled her eyes affectionately. “I was asking if you were ready to see the masks? Masker Fu dropped them off this morning.”

“Our masks are from Fu?!” This was news. Only the Royal family and nobility could afford masks designed by Fu. His work was the stuff of legends – they said he used magic to get the colours exactly the same shade as the animal they were based on.

“Of course they are. You didn’t think we’d be going in masks from the High Street now, did you?” Alya smirked, holding out an intricately carved box. “Go on.”

Hands trembling, Marinette unclasped the box and lifted the lid, only to gasp and nearly let it fall.

Inside, nestled amongst crimson tissue paper, was the mask. It glimmered faintly under the lamps, silver mixed in with the grey fur. Whiskers protruded from it, softer than they should have been when Marinette stroked a finger along them, tapping the tiny black nose as she picked it up.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Try it on.” Alya urged, placing the box on the windowsill. “I’ll tie it.”

Holding the mask to her face, Marinette felt it mould to her features. It fit like a glove. Deft hands tied the ribbon to secure it, then Alya was tugging her back towards the mirror.

“Take a look.”

Marinette looked.

“Whoa.”

[check out ao3 to follow 😊]

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rikumorimachisgirl · 5 years

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Hi! Supposing MC and her boyfriend are trying to get pregnant. How do you think each of them (if they are her boyfriend), is going to react when she says she wants to do the deed right at that time?

Hello! This ask had me imagining so many different scenarios, but stuck with this one. I've had such a busy Sunday and wanted to end the day on a light note, so let's get on with the reaction of these four gorgeous guys. I hope this lives up to your expectations…

Victor

When you first brought up the idea of having a baby, the twenty-eight-year-old CEO thought it was such an easy task, even Goldman could do it - NOT THAT HE WILL EVER LET HIM… but six months and sixty various Kamasutra positions later, you were still not pregnant. Each month you'd get your period, he felt less and less confident that his swimmers were not competent enough.

You consult a specialist and were given a kit to use to test when your fertility was at its peak. The specialist said that you need to do the deed within 24 hours before you ovulate because that increases the chances of getting pregnant. Easy right? Except, you've got irregular cycles.

Victor waits patiently for your call, day in and day out, all while maintaining a good diet, staying hydrated, working out (for more stamina), and reading up articles on the best position to get your girl pregnant (or something to that effect) in various Men's Health magazine.

Since you hadn't given him "The Call", he decided to bury himself at work, randomly auditing his company's account receivables against expenditures. He's gone through tons of ledgers and reports since he came to work that day, he hadn't noticed he had fallen asleep on his desk. Then at exactly one in the morning, he woke up to the sound of his mobile ringing. He picked it up and saw 50 missed calls and 100 messages all coming from you. Flustered, he called you back right away.

"It's about time you called, Victor. Do you know you kept me waiting for so long? Where were you? " you didn't bother concealing your anger the moment you heard him on the other line.

"You're getting braver, " he would reply, sounding slightly annoyed at having been told off right after waking up. "That's quite a mouth you have on you."

"My mouth would have been ON you if you'd picked up sooner. My test shows I'm fertile and that we've got another 18 hours to get busy or we try again next month. You've got ten minutes to get here."

Victor straightens up as soon as you ended the call. He phones a sleepy Goldman and orders him to cancel his appointments that day, adding, "don't call me, I'll call you."

And he freezes time to get to your place and spend what seemed like an endless 18 hours completing all the positions in the Kamasutra, in the hopes that one of them will get you pregnant.

A month later, you test positive and he's changed his reading material from Men's Health to Parenting weekly.

Lucien

It was a warm and sunny Saturday morning when you had visited his apartment armed with his favorite cream puffs and his favorite tea. The neuroscientist almost choked on the cream puff you lovingly made for him when you told him you wanted to have a baby together, but immediately recovered and processed your emotions. In the end, he agreed to do this the right way - complete with menstrual charts, an eating plan, and a list of vitamins and supplements you need to take to get your body ready to carry his baby for the next nine months.

Every month, during your fertile window, he'd turn his apartment into a spa of sorts to help you relax - he'd give you a massage, and make sweet and gentle love to you the whole night through. Unfortunately, after six months of trying, he hasn't succeeded in his quest to get you pregnant, and he starts doubting himself.

After consulting with a specialist (and your lover actually went through all the tests he needed to take), it was clear that you were both perfectly healthy. His colleague, a psychiatrist, advised you both to spice up your sex life.

Lucien was working on a medical journal entry supporting the study that the brain is wired to procrastinate and hasn't been home in the last three days. You were down to your last twenty-four hours before ovulation, and you desperately needed to get laid. Fast. Taking matters into your own hands, you visited him in his research center and saw him typing like a madman on his laptop, with a few cans of energy drink on his desk.

He looked up the moment you stepped in, and you locked eyes briefly. "What are you doing here?"

"It's late and you haven't been home in three days, Lucien, " you said, pouting. When he explained that it shouldn't bother you by now since there had been times in the past that he hasn't gone home, you held up your hand to silence him and said, "We've got less than 24 hours to get pregnant. Are you up to the challenge or not?"

Your words sank in immediately, and you see his eyes flicker and turn dark. Downing his energy drink, he tossed the empty can aside and stalked you like a predator locking down his prey.

That evening, you did the deed in every possible surface in his office, and you were so loud, he knew he had to bribe the guard the next day not to spill the beans. After all, that night was an exception, you were never gonna fuck in his lab again.

A month later, you came to him straight from your doctor's appointment and showed him the ultrasound picture of your little bean. And on that very day, he made a mental note to bribe the guard again, because there was no way in hell he wasn't going to keep his hands off you.

Kiro

You were chilling out with Kiro at the studio just before his new album launched when you both started talking about the future. When you said you wanted to start a family early, the blond superstar was more than happy to comply. Too happy in fact, that he insisted you start trying right at that very instant - inside the soundproof studio, with an unlocked door separating you both from Savin and his staff.

Since Kiro had to go on his worldwide album tour, your plans had been put on hold. He was more disappointed than you were when you got your period the following month.

He wanted to start a family so badly, he went behind your back and spoke with Anna about the possibility of you taking a brief vacation to join him on the Japan leg of his tour. Having gotten the necessary approvals, he flies you to Tokyo and you arrive an hour before his concert.

Not having seen you in weeks, he corners you backstage and leads you to his dressing room. "I missed you, Miss Chips, " he said as he peppered you with kisses.

"I missed you too, " you replied.

"Is that all you have to say to me after not seeing you for weeks?"

You smiled at him and whispered, "I'm fertile." To which he responded smugly, "That's great… because I'm horny. But we gotta keep it quiet in here or they'll hear."

While his concert front act was performing and the audience were having fun banging their heads to the music, your twenty-two-year-old boyfriend was busy banging you against the wall.

He performed exceptionally well that night (in his concert and in private), and a month and a half later, he penned a new song dedicated to your baby.

Gavin

Gavin had just arrived at his place after a long day when he saw you pacing back and forth in his living room. When he asked you what was wrong, you fidget nervously and tell him that you had actually been thinking a lot about having a baby. Immediately, the Police Officer stared at you with his jaw hanging and it took him several minutes to process what you had just said. You were so scared he would reject your idea, but all that was going through his mind was the excitement of fucking you bare and how Minor would react if he gave him the boxes of condoms he kept in his apartment.

Gavin's missions kept him away most of the time. The two of you would have quickies in between missions, but of course, those weren't enough to get you pregnant. As you track your fertile window month over month, you start to see a correlation between your ovulation and depression especially when Gavin wasn't around during those days.

As expected, Gavin had been sent on a mission again, five days before your ovulation, and you once again get into a state of depression. You were down to your last twenty-four hours of being fertile, and your boyfriend was nowhere near you. Sighing, you tell yourself this was just not meant to be and that perhaps you should just break up. Lo and behold, your phone rings and you see Gavin's name on the screen.

"Hey, babe. You don't sound too good. Are you okay?" He would ask.

"No, I'm not, " you would respond and add, "You said you wanted to have a family with me but you're always away. For the past six months, you've been missing in action when my fertile window opens. Like today, for instance - today's my most fertile day, and you're not here. I don't think I can do this anymore. I want to break up -"

You were cut short by the sound of the glass in the window shattering. And there, inside your apartment, among the shards of glass, stood your boyfriend in full uniform. The sight made you lose your breath because he was so hot.

"Gavin -"

He walked towards you with a purpose and each step he took made your heart best faster and faster. "I'm sorry about the glass, I'll replace that later, " he said. "But right now, I need to convince you not to break up with me and I've got twenty-four hours to give you what you want."

A lamp, a few vases, and a couple of plates joined the shards of glass of the floor in the wake of your passionate reunion. A month later, he requested to take some time off duty to spoil you and what he hopes would be a little version of you, growing inside you.

(I hope these made sense... These were visuals I used to come up with each hc)

#anon asks #answered #mr love queen's choice #mr love queens choice fic #mr love headcanon #mr love lucien #mr love kiro #mr love gavin #mr love victor #mlqc headcannon #mlqc fic #mlqc kiro #mlqc gavin #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien

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mbti-notes · 5 years

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I wanted to know, please, if the time we ~spend~ being in the grip is a waste? beacuse I have to be honest it's been 4 yers since I've started to develop my aux and I have been failing since I've started, I already sent you a lot of texts and you r always telling me that I am not getting it right to develop my aux. I wanted to know if it`s normal to take that long/ to fail again and again AND for the love of god, what can I do to accelarate? What can I do to spped up he process? thank you! enfp

It seems that you don’t understand the process of function development. If you frequently suffer from inferior grip, then your dominant function is quite unhealthy, which makes it next to impossible to develop your auxiliary function. When Ne is unhealthy to extremes, you aren’t able to explore ideas and possibilities with an open and objective mind, thus you aren’t able to envision positive paths forward. And how can Fi-aux make good judgments/choices when there are no good options available other than desperation or pessimism? You are in self-pity rather than examining your problem, so there’s not much I can say. It sounds like you’re unhappy, and instead of facing up to that unhappiness and making the appropriate changes, you keep trying to ignore, suppress, or sidestep it, which only makes it worse over time. This is the opposite of Fi development.

WRT self-development, learning well requires:

1) knowing the proper way of doing things: Do you know and respect the proper process/procedure of achieving a goal (Si)? Do you follow instructions well (Si)? Do you think that things should always be easy if you just “believe” hard enough (unhealthy Ne)? Do you think that the rules of success shouldn’t apply to you because you always convince yourself that you know what’s best despite no evidence that you do (delusional Ne-Te)? Are you impatient and believe that you can take shortcuts or skirt the rules without suffering negative consequences (Te loop)? Do you pursue success for the right reasons, or do you merely want it to distract from self-loathing (Te loop)? Do you take care of your health (Si) and give yourself the work-leisure balance needed for maintaining your energy and motivation levels (Fi)? Do you have effective methods of managing the stress of challenging work or do you always push yourself too hard (Fi-Te)?

2) making mistakes and learning from them: Do you assess your mistakes honestly and directly, to discover the actual cause of what went wrong (Te)? Are you willing to completely change your attitude and approach when it obviously gets you bad results (Te)? Do you respect the hurt that you’ve experienced from past mistakes and use the memory of it to guide your decision making towards better health and well-being (Fi-Si)? Are you willing to make difficult choices and exercise self-control in resisting temptations whenever it is necessary to protect your well-being (Fi-Si)? Do you waste time whining, blaming, rehashing, ruminating, or beating yourself up for failing rather than simply feeling your hurt, licking your wounds, learning the lesson, and moving on (Si grip)? Do you make excuses for failure or bad decision making (Te loop)?

The learning process isn’t linear because it’s hard to break old habits. It’s hard to break a mental habit when you don’t even know it exists, when you don’t understand how it works, when you don’t know what triggers it, and when you can’t admit that it grants you egotistical benefits you don’t want to give up (e.g. People procrastinate when they get “gratification” by doing something more fun than the work - they want the fun-in-the-moment more than achieving the future goal). Have you done the self-reflection that is necessary to understand what your bad habit is and break it? You need a certain level of self-awareness to know what causes a negative pattern, and sometimes the only way to obtain that self-awareness is to make repeated mistakes that bring the pattern out into the light of day for everyone to see. To break an old pattern requires learning a NEW lesson, a NEW way of thinking, or a NEW method of doing things that replaces the old way. Unfortunately, many people have to repeat the mistake as many times as necessary until they finally learn that changing to a new way is necessary. That’s why cognitive dysfunction is often a slow and gradual descent to rock bottom as some people require the jolt of hitting a rock bottom to finally get themselves on track. In that sense, being in the loop/grip is never a “waste” because it’s a necessary part your learning process. But you cannot accept this reality, so you suffer for your wishing thinking that reality “should” be otherwise.

The fact that you ask me how to “accelerate” means that your attitude is all wrong. You’re not approaching the problem seriously by telling me the exact steps you’ve taken to “develop Fi”, you’re not patiently reviewing your Fi missteps with a fine-toothed comb, you’re not taking time to appreciate any progress that you’ve made, rather, you’re issuing self-condemnations, throwing your hands up in the air, and begging for miracles. This blog is not for venting; it’s for reflection. You’re looking for easy answers and I don’t have any, so stop asking me for them unless you enjoy disappointment. When you only care about “end results”, you’re never fully present in your life, and worst of all, you won’t find the right path because you’ll settle for ANY path as long as you imagine it’s “faster” for you -> Te loop. When you’re constantly looking for escape or shortcuts, it’s easy to get yourself lost, because your attention is always scattered from all the scanning about, and your focus is actually just on avoiding your negative emotions, as opposed to appreciating the bumpy process of learning and growing into a better person. Face up to your negative emotions, listen to what they are trying to tell you.

#enfp #te loop #si grip #development #learning #loop #grip #auxiliary fi #ask

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thebarkingraccoon · 4 years

Text

Curative AU

I have been working on it for a bit now. I realize it’s taken a lot longer than I had hoped. I got stuck behind some walls, but don’t worry. It’s not writer’s block, I just had to figure some stuff out.

Now that it’s solved I am working on the rest. This is like a short teaser for the AU! I’m sorry for making y’all wait so long. I’m working on getting a lot more out there! ... still working on a title tho

Hope you enjoy the snippet!

Quick summary: Laura manages to get her junk alarm clock to work and heads out to a movie with a friend.

She tortured herself over her computer for hours, threatening to spend another full night just staring at the monitor. She procrastinated from sunrise to sunset.

The choice was her own and it tore her inside out. A life-changing, life-ending decision. Truly an event that would change her life forever, overshadowing her future self in its enormity. Scouring for days, upon days, filtering through informational articles from reputable sources, Reddit boards, and sites with too many dots in the URL.

The decision... to take a semester or two off.

She cried, she complained, she wrapped herself up in a blanket burrito while wallowing in self-pity. Weeks spent agonizing over the repercussions and benefits. Some said it's healthy to take a break, explore the world a bit before diving back in. Others say it can interrupt work ethic and self-discipline.

But the deadline was rapidly approaching. In only a few days she would have to choose and she couldn't imagine what would happen.

The bags under her eyes and heavy eyelids told her it was too late to keep beating herself over the head with this. She needed to sleep so she could wake on time for her plans the next day.

Dragging herself from her cocoon of thick blankets in her living room she managed to make it into her bed. A bed is a generous term as it appeared to be no more than a giant pile of pillows, blankets, comforters, and fluffy things that she disappeared into.

As she melted off to sleep she became aware of the uncomfortable poking on her nose. Swimming through the sea of fluff and feathers she reached out to her nightstand. Only instead of finding her glasses case her hand slapped the nightstand so hard her alarm clock fell over.

With a sharp ringing, she jolted upright, the shrill sound agitating her restful state. "Fracking busted thing." She grabbed the alarm clock, glaring at it with a personal hatred for the device.

Her longstanding spite for the simple bedside tool came from its inability to ring on time. It was a cute stylized twin bell alarm clock that's small hammer came loose rendering it unable to ring. Not knowing this being the issue led her to many mornings sleeping in late.

As easy as it was for her to set the alarm on her phone, it was simply not loud enough to wake her. The poor girl slept like a log, nothing but the loudest most annoying sounds could shake her awake.

Tilting the alarm clock, she patted it on the side which managed to dislodge the small metal hook that connected to the hammer. She tested the clock and it rang, a deep sigh of relief escaped her. So she set it for tomorrow, took off her glasses, then fell right back into the avalanche of comfort.

She was unceremoniously woken from her sleep by that alarm clock ringing in her ear. All she could think is how badly she wanted to throw it out the window but settled for pouting as she woke up.

She slept up to her neck in giant comforters and pillows, lavishing in their luxurious fluff. A bed full of pastels and faux furs piled on the already puffed up bed. There wasn't a single thing spared of color in her room, including the canopy that enclosed her bed.

Braving the day, she lifted herself from her abyss of endless pillows. Shifting through her taste in bedspreads, she dipped her feet off the edge of her bed and onto the fluffy sheep wool rug. Her toes curling into the softness as she stretched her arms out languidly.

Pulling back the canopy, she reached for the nightstand patting the surface until she found her glasses. Her eyes adjusted to the light and clarity of the day.

Slumping over, she picked up her phone only to see a calendar alert for her showtime. She had time to prepare for the day despite her reluctance to do so.

Ideas of how to avoid going popped into her head. Excuses along the lines of 'I'm not feeling well' all the way to 'Something terrible came up!' She kept wanting to find an escape through her preparation.

She left the door cracked open, steam slowly rising from the heat of the shower. Sounds of a few bottles hitting the floor of her shower followed by a line of nonsense words in place of expletives.

She leaned over the sink to apply her make up. She knew it was more procrastination but she had a difficult time deciding what to put on and what clothing to wear. Each mix and match outfit was reasoned away as she continued trying to find a way out.

Doing her best to ignore her social anxiety she dressed, pulled her hair back, and headed to the door. As she was about to shut the door she patted her pockets only to find things missing. "Oh shoot!" She groaned, returning to her bedroom to find her phone buried in her abyss of pillows.

Clicking on the screen, she rolled her eyes. "I didn't plug it in. Are you fracking kidding me?" She glared at the thirty-eight percent battery life. It would be dead before she got home, but she didn't have the time to charge it.

Heading out of her apartment she ensured the door was locked, hopped into the elevator, and went into the garage to retrieve her car. Her phone would not survive the whole day out, but it would survive to give her directions to her friend's place.

As she pulled up to the apartment complex, she texted him she was outside waiting. The phone's battery on twenty-nine percent and she turned it off to conserve it.

The car door clicked and swung open, a rather tall man managed to squeeze himself into the passenger seat. He gave her the widest smile he could manage, "Laura! You actually came and you're on time! I had no idea you had it in you."

She returned with a slight shrug and a lopsided grin. "Hey, Jason. My alarm clock decided to work this morning. It's like the first time it actually rang on time in the last month." She knew he was only teasing her, he was a good-natured man. Yet she felt guilty accepting even a modicum of praise knowing she just spent most of her morning scheming of a way to stay home... and she often didn't show or was very late to hangouts.

"Well, I'm glad we get to see the sequel together. That opening night for the first Hellboy was such fun." He beamed, smiling as bright as ever. "Hard to believe that was four years ago..." A wistful sigh for the old days before they began their college life.

"I did get the tickets for the Dark Knight next month, opening night like you wanted, right?" She drove out of the lot, heading towards the theater.

"Yes! I'm so excited! I'm worried too though, the only Joker I think of is the cartoon one. You know, Mark Hamill's Joker." He squealed in delight, his love of superhero movies shining through. "The movie looks amazing though. That trailer, ugh! I can't wait!"

She laughed about it with him, thankfully relieving some of the tension she felt. He was positively giddy with excitement and his smile was infectious.

Until they went over a bump in the road. The streets in Atlanta were all riddled with potholes and cracks. She winced as she drove over a few, scared of damaging a car that was bought for her. Having to go back and ask for repairs so soon would be a whole ordeal she would much rather avoid.

The wincing didn't go passed him, he felt every bump too. "And this is why I try not to drive here." He uttered as they rolled over another large crack.

Silence filled the cabin and it was not a comfortable one. Laura's head was screaming at her to talk, hold a normal conversation; do anything except sit there the entire time. The theater wasn't far so they wouldn't have enough time for a full discussion, but she hadn't seen him in so long it felt awkward just sitting here.

But what would she talk about? She was intensely private and rarely discussed anything outside of the ordinary small talk between strangers. This wasn't a stranger, he invited her out and bought the tickets. They'd known each other for years and still, she struggled to speak with him.

"Your hair!" Laura almost barked it out, mentally smacking herself. Trying to calm her nerves she focused on using her inside voice. "It's gotten really long, I like it."

Unimpressed, he held up a long dreadlock and sent her a lame look. "Laura, my hair has been this long since I was like twenty."

"O-oh." Feeling more awkward and embarrassed than ever, she clammed up. She talked and made a fool of herself. Of course, she knew this, she was just so desperate to find anything to say that seemed normal.

She meant to say is she liked the length and wanted to know if he was planning on letting it grow longer. Which she immediately botched and instead made it sound like she never noticed. The awkward silence was better to her mind than whatever this was.

Regardless of her social weaknesses, he knew she meant well. After years of being around Laura, he knew she was very careful with the people around her. Unfortunately, she was not gifted at talking to people even if she knew them well.

No matter the social awkwardness, he never actually pressured her. He didn't coddle her when she was overly nervous, but he was never mean about it either. Whether she knew it or not he gave her the healthy adult friendship she needed.

"I like what you did with your hair." He reached over to her, lifting a lock-up to look at the color. She flinched away at the glimpse of his hand nearing her. He knew this about her and drew no attention to it; he put it together years ago.

Laura blinked, glancing quickly down to the long strands in his fingers. "Right! I had the ends dyed." She let out a deep breath. It had been so long since they saw each other he hadn't seen the recent change. "I just wanted to try something new out."

Nodding his approval. "So you had a blue ombre done?" As he questioned her he saw a flash of uncertainty on Laura's face. "Don't worry, I like it. It's soft, not so in your face bright as some do. It's a good choice." His reassurance went a long way. Her shoulders visibly relaxed knowing she was not in fear of being judged.

"Thanks, I got it done last-" Laura paused as she realized once more she was accentuating their time apart. "... September."

He just made an Ahh sound and dropped it. They didn't need to go into why they spent so long without seeing each other. They both knew it was because Laura always fell out of contact, a fact which she felt constantly guilty for.

When she pulled into the parking lot, she was relieved to get out of the car. A movie theater where she could sit in silence and watch Hellboy 2. No worrying about tripping over her words to making herself look like an idiot. She could just kick back and enjoy the movie.

After the movie they headed home, Laura and Jason both talking like old friends again. The prior awkwardness had slowly melted away as they caught up on recent events, the frustration of their last classes together, and the next time they hang out.

When she dropped him off at his place and left for her own she was aware of how relaxed she felt. A few hours spent hanging with a friend not worrying about her studies or what comes next. Just being in the moment having a laugh.

It was a refresher she didn't know she was waiting for. She had such a nice time with him she really didn't want to stop so soon. This was a nice feeling, something she chose to believe was good.

When she headed back inside her apartment she went for her computer. Once the monitor lit up she exited the window with her registration information on it.

This time around she would take time off and make the most of it. She had more than earned a break.

Jason was highly supportive, having chosen to take off as well. Talk of some classic summer fun was quickly becoming a reality and for the first time in a long time, she was actually excited to hang out with a friend.

#Curative AU #twd fanfiction #walking dead fanfic

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riddikuluslypotter · 5 years

Text

Are you sorry?

Wolfstar fluff 1K No warnings Feedback is more than welcome xx

Remus wandered down Diagon alley with Lily, the two of them enjoying the warm sunshine, knowing it probably wouldn’t last long. They had both left their shopping trip for school supplies to the last possible minute, but had still managed to spend the day procrastinating with trips to the menagerie (”But it’s so cute Remus!” “You’re not buying a cat Lily, what would your parents say?”) and ice cream parlour (which ended with Remus learning to braid Lily’s long hair). As Remus always said, every friendship group needs at least one proactive friend. Unfortunately, this summer Peter was away with his family, so Lily and Remus had been left to (unsuccessfully) nag themselves.

The two friends were hunched over their list of required supplies when Remus suddenly found himself flat on his backside. He looked up, searching for the culprit that had run straight into him, knocking him over, and his eyes landed on a solid (ripped, who was Remus kidding) man, with shoulder length black hair and concerned eyes. Remus felt himself start to blush as he realised that he had been staring at the man (no, god) for much longer than was socially acceptable. His admiration of the man quickly evaporated when he yelled “Are you sorry!?” and ran past, leaving Remus sprawled on the cold cobblestones.

“What an arse!” Lily spat, as she helped her friend up. Remus supposed that maybe it had been his fault, after all he hadn’t been looking where he was going. Even so, the man’s beyond rude remark had shattered any illusions Remus had had upon first looking at him.

“Come on, let’s just go. We still have to grab some quills and your transfiguration book.” Remus reminded Lily, persuading her to leave the stranger alone instead of chasing after him and giving him a piece of her mind, as Remus suspected she wanted to. The redhead agreed (although still scowling), and the two headed off to finish their shopping.

Forty-five minutes later the pair had finished finding their supplies, with a couple of unexpected additions (“It’s a lolly shop, Lily! How can you expect me to go back to school without a suitable supply of chocolate!?”). They still had some daylight left, so they decided to head to a nearby café for some butterbeer. Remus found them a table while Lily went to grab the drinks, as the young bartender, James, frequently gave her free drinks (Lily often complained that this was sexist, but Remus knew she didn’t really mind, she liked James. Plus there was no way he was letting her ruin their free drinks!).

The young blonde had been sitting in the booth he had found for less than five minutes when he felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned to find the man from earlier looking at him rather guiltily.

“Hi.” the man said, although the outcome sounded like more of a question to Remus.

“You!” he accused angrily, glaring at the handsome (no, hideous, definitely not even slightly handsome) man standing in front of him.

“Sirius.”

“Of course I’m serious! You knocked me over and then yelled at me for it!”

“No, sorry, my name’s Sirius. And I truly am sorry about that.” The man, Sirius, replied. To his credit, he did look very apologetic, but Remus still had to wonder what could make someone act so rude to a complete stranger.

“You asked me if I was sorry. Why on earth should I be the sorry one?”

“No! I mean, yes, I did say that, but it’s not what I meant! I was trying to apologise!” Sirius looked desperate now, trying to apologise but once again struggling.

“In what universe would ‘are you sorry’ classify as an apology!?”

“I panicked! I swear, that’s not what I meant to say! I just, I wanted to ask if you were okay but then I thought I should probably say sorry and I got my words mixed up and said ‘are you sorry’, but I promise that’s not what I meant!” He was definitely desperate now, pleading with Remus to hear him out.

“Well couldn’t you have stayed to explain that?”

“Well, yes, but I panicked!”

“You panicked?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Does it really matter why?”

“It does to me.”

“Because I’m very gay and you’re very attractive!”, Sirius blurted out loudly, causing the entire café to fall silent, all eyes resting on the two young men. Sirius covered his mouth with his hand, eyes wide, while Remus stared at him open mouthed, too shocked to say anything. Swearing under his breath, Sirius turned and practically ran out of the café, leaving Remus in shock for the second time that day.

“Did I miss something? I feel like I definitely missed something.” Lily stood next to the booth, holding two cups of butterbeer and looking incredibly confused.

“I have to go; I’ll text you later”. Remus gave Lily a quick hug before rushing after Sirius, leaving a still very confused Lily behind him.

After a few minutes of searching, Remus found Sirius sitting alone in a park, with his head in his hands.

“So you think I’m cute, huh?” Sirius jumped, turning so fast that Remus was sure he must have hurt his neck.

Sirius chuckled nervously, nodding his head. “Yeah, but I don’t really have much practice at asking guys out.”

“I’m shocked. Flabbergasted. Really, never would have been able to tell.” Remus deadpanned, smirking at the man in front of him.

“I thought you were really cute and I just got nervous!” Sirius was laughing too now, lightening the mood between the couple.

“No, you’re right. Insulting someone seems much more effective than just, oh I don’t know, asking them out?”

“I didn’t mean to insult you!”

“Well why don’t you try it again then?” At this Sirius looked nervous, until he glanced up at the taller man’s kind eyes and summoned his Gryffindor courage.

He cleared his throat and stood up just a little bit straighter. “Alright then. Would you like to go out some time? On a date I mean. With me. Damn it.” Sirius cursed, laughing with Remus at his ‘smooth’ flirting.

“I’d love to.”

“Really?”

“Don’t ruin it,” Remus laughed, taking a few steps towards Sirius, “Just kiss me already.”

#Harry potter #wolfstar #sirius x remus #sirius and remus #sassy remus #wolfstar fic #harry potter fanfiction

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ardenttheories · 5 years

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Howdy! Just stumbled upon your blog and was wondering if you could help me Classpect my character? If you don't want to, that's okay and I hope you have a good day! The main thing about them is that they're a chronic daydreamer who struggles with making their dreams a reality. Like, they know what they want; to build a life of their own, to be independent and to create a visual work that brings the same amount of joy to others as others' works have brought them, but they have a very vague (1/?)

idea how to accomplish such feats. They enjoy drawing (especially character design), animating and writing stories but can’t muster enough strength to consistently work on their many unfinished projects. They’re obsessed with cartoons and comics to the point of ignoring reality to engage with them, see the chronic daydreamer comment. They are very diligent when it comes to other people assigning them a task, however, working hard till completion, having the ability to ignore any (2/?)

distractions until the task is done. They are very bad at making and maintaining any and all relationships, believing they are better off alone when in reality they need other people more than the average Joe. And they know and HATE that fact. Even though they’ve been bullied a lot they believe in the goodness of people, although the belief borders on desperation at times. When it comes to themselves, however, they are rather negative, introspectively so. It’s not that they think they (3/?)

don’t have ANY positive qualities, they just don’t know what those qualities are after so many years of negativity. And they are VERY tired of that. They admire larger-than-life, possibly hammy people who take charge, put themselves out there and stay true to themselves no matter what. They hate those who voice their unwillingness to do things, who won’t even try to cooperate and who whine without acting to change the situation. Thank you in advance! (4/4)

Hmm. I can see aspects of Breath, Blood, Heart, and Hope in here. Maybe also a little Space.

Chronic daydreaming - especially to the point of it interfering with everyday life - could be Hope or Space. Space players tend to be a little “spacey” for lack of a better word, having a lot of things going on at once and spending a lot of time with their head in the clouds. They’re naturally creative people, and that can indeed interfere with everyday life. Think how Jade creates this little world around herself to cope with her loneliness, or how Calliope lives through the Alpha kids and inserts herself into their story to cope with hers.

(Putting the rest under the cut, as this got a little long)

It could be a little Hopey since Hope is a sort of dreamer state - you have to have Hopes to Dream, after all - but I’d probably give that tick to Space, if only because of the fact that they know what they want in life. Again, go back to Jade; she knows what she’s living towards, that she has this big purpose as her end goal, and when that’s suddenly stripped from her in Pesterquest she genuinely doesn’t know what to do. A Hope Player would be more likely to exert all of their effort into making that thing come true; Space Players tend to struggle with that.

The want for independence and the inclusion of joy is what made me think of Breath, especially since they tend to isolate themselves from people - and the fact that they actually do need people more than the average person is what made me think Blood.

But going back to our Space players, we see this a lot. They tend to have this habit of needing people, and are almost always in the unfortunate circumstance of being alone. It definitely seems to fit along the lines of Jade and Callie, both of whom were completely separated from the people they loved but really didn’t handle that isolation well.

I’ve seen a Space Player that’s literally all about struggling to finish projects. I know exactly what this could reference to. It’s that want for creativity without the ability to actually take a step forward, to see something through to the end without help. The fact that your OC can complete things that are set for them vibes really well with this; it’s not creative pieces they struggle with, but starting something on their own.

That said, it also makes me think of Blood or maybe a Ghosting Breath player. The fact that they struggle with making and maintaining these friendships, believing they’re better off alone, but still retaining a desperate sense for the goodness of people despite what they’ve gone through… It definitely has that sort of feel to it. Especially since they know that they need people, and hate it.

It might also make sense to the prior stuff you mentioned about projects. It’s not the stuff they’re responsible for that they struggle with; it’s the stuff they’re not held accountable for. If it’s for themself, there’s an issue; if it’s for someone else, they can do it straight away. I’m not sure that would explain the daydreaming, but it would explain the procrastination.

The desperation to believe in the goodness of people could go for both a Space Player or a Blood/Ghosting Breath Player. As does the fact that they can’t really see the goodness in themself; that after so long of being bullied and subjected to negativity, they can’t quite see their own good qualities.

I’d almost say it vibes more with Blood here. Space definitely has this mentality in it - you can easily see this in Jade, and we know that, for instance, Kanaya tends to struggle with knowing her own worth or capabilities - but we also see it in Karkat, who puts too much emphasis on what he’s not and not enough on what he is.

And then this part:

They admire larger-than-life, possibly hammy people who take charge, put themselves out there and stay true to themselves no matter what. They hate those who voice their unwillingness to do things, who won’t even try to cooperate and who whine without acting to change the situation.

Again, I can see that as both Space and Blood. A Space Player who struggles with starting their own things looking up to someone who just takes charge? Sees the bigger picture? Stays true to who they are? I’m pretty sure that’s the exact journey Jade goes through.

I think that might vibe better with the fact that they hate people who are unwilling to do things, too. Blood Players definitely don’t like it, but they’re more likely to actively change it or see it as something that has to be fixed - not outright hate it. It’s a frustration, not a hate.

I’d tentatively suggest maybe a Rogue of Space, then! Maybe a Knight depending on how you view it.

Rogues tend to really struggle with their Aspect; they just don’t feel comfortable with it, and even if they are good at it, it can be a bit too much. They also tend to be surrounded by it, whether they want to or not - so your Player surrounding themself with Space despite needing people? Very okay with that.

The Rogue is also the one I was thinking of for the struggle to finish projects! They really struggle with creativity, and might try to create too many things in an effort to fill up the Space around them. They might just not be wholly happy with what they’re doing, or even see a point to finishing them.

They still have the potential to be a daydreamer, though; they’re still incredibly creative, it’s just the struggle to make that creativity a reality. They also just aren’t very confident as people, and I think that might cover them not knowing how to make their dreams a reality. They aren’t confident enough to figure out where to start, to Begin that journey, and actually may even just struggle with Beginnings in general - which is a huge part of what Space is.

There’s also the fact that Rogues of Space feel uncomfortable with the idea that you have to make something out of your life. That you have to give it meaning because there is no meaning otherwise. So that might fit in well with both A) why they can more easily finish tasks given to them [the meaning is already there] and B) why they can’t find a way to start [they have to give meaning to the things they’re planning out].

So, yeah! Rogue of Space would be my best answer. I hope that helps!

#windy15 #long post//#classpecting #ardenttheories

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strayneoculturekids · 5 years

Text

enemies to lovers AU Doyoung x Reader

Summary: Your roommate was the worst possible person ever, always fricking nagging. The only person you’re able to complain to is your online friend, and in return, you listen to his complaints about his roommate. You two find out you got to the same college and finally he tells you his name, turns out he’s actually your roommate.

College AU, enemies to lovers AU

Genre: fluff, kinda slight a little bit angst but like not really, crack(?)

BTW “Y/U/N” means your username and for the sake of the story it can’t be your actual name

You walked into your shared dorm where you found your roommate sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He immediately turned his eyes to you when you walked in as if he was waiting for you to return.

“You didn’t clean up after yourself this morning, so I did it for you”

Now, normally, cleaning up after someone when they forgot to do it is considered a nice gesture and you would’ve thanked them. With Doyoung though, his tone was so passive aggressive and you were much more than sure that he did it just so he could rub the fact that he’s cleaner than you in your face.

You grumbled a barely audible thanks, quickly going to your room so you didn’t have to look at him any longer.

You’ll admit, Doyoung is handsome. Probably the best-looking person you’ve ever met. But oh god was he annoying. Every second you spent with him was another cell gone from your brain. His constant nagging and passive-aggressive responses to everything were the worst things you had ever gone through.

You made it to your room, shutting the door behind you and immediately getting out your laptop from your bag, sitting down on the floor, placing the laptop in your lap because both you and Doyoung were too broke to afford two desks so you bought one and split the price. But the desk was in the room Doyoung was currently in and there was no way you were spending more time with him than absolutely needed.

You opened your laptop and got up the messaging app you used to message your closest friend. You’re pretty sure he knew like everything about you, and you knew everything about him. Including the fact that you were...pretty kinky. Hey, he was your closest friend, like you weren’t gonna tell him about all that.

[Y/U/N]: hey

[dongie]: heya, what’s up? You seem in a bad mood

[Y/U/N]: how were you able to tell that from one word

[dongie]: cuz i’m smart, unlike someone I know

[Y/U/N]: shuddup, you wish you were as smart as me

[dongie]: yeah yeah, just tell me what’s up

[Y/U/N]: my goddamn roommate is nagging again, he’s so annoyingly passive-aggressive. ughhhh save meeee

[dongie]: trust me, I wish I could but I gotta get to class like right now and unlike someone, I actually care about my grades

[Y/U/N]: wow thanks for making me feel better

[dongie]: I know, I know, I suck but hang in there. Your roommate is just a total dick. I gotta go now, love ya!

[Y/U/N]: love you too you absolute dummy

You smiled when you read his message. You guys told each other that you loved each other pretty much every day. It wasn’t a romantic thing but it definitely got you flustered, even after he had said it so many times.

This was basically routine for you two. You texted all the time but at least twice a day, you both would complain about your roommate to each other. He hated your roommate along with you and you hated his roommate along with him. It was a winwin situation. (A/N: sorry for my shit pun making skills)

Just as you were about to start studying, you heard the door slam shut, making you jump. Geez, could he be any louder? You thought, annoyed but glad that he was gone so you could use the desk.

The next day came around and you were so rudely awoken to the noise of the door being opened and then slammed shut. Again.

“Seriously?! I don’t have any classes until the afternoon! Could you be a little quieter?!” You yelled

No response.

Usually, he would argue back so you can guess that he had just gone to one of his morning classes and in fact, didn’t just come back from staying out ridiculously late after his night class yesterday.

Doyoung sucked. Like really sucked. But he was always on time for rent and never invited anyone over without your permission, plus he wasn’t a party guy and never trashed the apartment. He was just a dick in his attitude, not his behavior. Which you guess is the only reason you tolerated him.

You grumbled, rolling over on your side and grabbing your phone, seeing a message from your best friend.

[dongie]: hey, you up yet sleepyhead?

[Y/U/N]: ya, unfortunately

[dongie]: my roommate just yelled at me while I walked out of the apartment :(

[Y/U/N]: aw, my poor baby, you must be so devastated

[dongie]: I literally cannot tell whether you’re being sarcastic or not

[Y/U/N]: I’m being sarcastic. Anyways, what are you doing right now

[dongie]: I deserved that

[dongie]: and i’m just walking to class

[Y/U/N]: it just occurred that I never asked you what college you go to?

[dongie]: oh yea. I go to insert college name here

[Y/U/N]: ...

[dongie]: ?

[Y/U/N]: ...I go there as well...

[dongie]: ...

[dongie]: so you’re telling me that we’ve been going to the same college all this time and didn’t know?

You sigh, trying to calm down your racing heart as well as trying to prevent yourself from throwing your phone against a wall as hard as you possibly can

[Y/U/N]: yep, that’s exactly what i’m telling you

Immediately, you feel your phone vibrate and look to realize that he’s calling you. Like anyone would be, you were surprised but answered the call anyway.

“Holy SHIT”

is the only thing you heard before silence and very ragged breathing

“I just screamed that in the middle of the street.”

“Dongie?” you asked, trying to hold back a bit of laughter

“Yep that’s me”

His voice sounded familiar but you couldn’t really put it to a face. It was over the phone so you couldn’t hear him that clearly

“so...are we meeting up?” you asked, trying not to freak out

“I’ll be fucked if we’re not”

You finally let out a laugh and you got a small chuckle in return. The only thing that went through your mind in that second is how beautiful is laugh was and how you wanted to hear more of it.

“I haven’t even told you my real name yet,” he said, slightly breathless “It’s Doyoung”

Your eyes went wide and before you knew what you were doing, you immediately hung up. You threw your phone at your floor, looking at it as if it were the most cursed object in existence

“...fuck,” you said aloud, just about ready to yell at the top of your lungs

You hear your phone vibrate again, most likely Doyoung trying to call back. You pick it up and deny the call, hands shaking.

[dongie]: Y/U/N?

[dongie]: hello?

[dongie]: what happened?

[dongie]: are you ok?

You turned away from your phone, trying to distract yourself. But it just kept vibrating because of Doyoung’s consistent and confused messages.

After a while, the vibrating stopped which you assumed was because Doyoung had reached his class.

About maybe two hours had passed and you voiched for studying on the desk the entire time. Normally you would procrastinate and leave it till last minute like every other completely logical college student, but all you needed right now was something to distract yourself with.

You heard the door open and turned around to see Doyoung, his eyes and shoulders droopy and his lips contorted into a frown. You had never seen him so sad in all this time living with him. It definitely hurt your heart.

“hey” he said quietly, quickly brushing past you to go to his room

You were frozen. You were pretty damn sure that you had never felt this bad about anything in your entire life. Ever.

You took in a deep breath and picked up your phone, your heart beat picking up. Your fingers shakily moved to call Doyoung. As soon as you hit the button, you heard a thump come from his room, as if he had fallen off of his bed and immediately after a very loud and worried hello, which you heard from your phone as well.

“Hey...”

“why did you hang up?! Did I do something?! Are you ok?!” you could hear everything he was saying loud and clear from his room

“yeah, you did”

“What is it?! I’ll do anything to fix it!” he sounded so desperate, making your heart ache even more

“yeah. You nag way toO FRICKIN’ MUCH” you said, getting louder with each word, making sure Doyoung could hear you from his room

There was more loud thumping and suddenly Doyoung burst out of his room, his eyes meeting yours. His hair was dishevelled and his eyes were wide.

“FUCK” he shouted before sighing extremely loudly “THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF HOW I WANTED TO MEET YOU”

“tell me about it” you said, trying to control yourself, not believing you had never noticed the resemblance between your online friends’ personality and Doyoung’s personality.

You both stared at eachother for a long time. Once the you had both calmed down, it started getting really awkward.

“I- this is too much” he said, confused

“Don’t worry, it took me a while to process it too”

Without warning, Doyoung started walking up to you and put his face at the same level as yours. You could see red rising to his cheeks and he opened his mouth.

“I love you.”

“You- you what?” you said, heat rising to your cheeks as well

“You’re annoying as fuck. I know you think I’m also annoying as fuck. But you’re also funny and you listen to my worries and always manage to make me smile with your utter stupidity, and I know that I also somehow manage to make you smile. I love you.”

you blinked a few times before what he had said completely registered in your brain.

“...I love you too. You absolute dummy” you said, a bit hesitantly

He smiled and pulled you into a slightly awkward hug. You would work out the fact that you two complained about each other to each other without knowing for who knows how long. For now though, let’s just focus on all the things you loved about each other.

#doyoung #kim doyoung #nct doyoung #nct kim doyoung #NCT #nct imagines #doyoung imagine #nct fluff #doyoung fluff #fluff #imagines #nct crack #doyoung crack #college au #enemies to lovers

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eallisnwndrlnd · 4 years

Text

A New Year. A New Decade.

As I type away, only a couple of hours to go to lead us into not only a new year but a new decade. So many memorable moments that happened this year…some good…some not so much.

2019, a year that began with anxiety and stress as I began my final semester and final year of college and ended it with uncertainty of what the next year will bring with a bit of hope that things will get better.

As I begin to reflect on my 2019, I note that even with all my downs I had a lot more ups and so much to be thankful for this year. As some of my family and friends had many new joys to celebrate there are others near and dear that also suffered a lot of hardships and loss this year. For them I hope that this New Year will bring hope, joy, peace and many more blessings.

I stressed over my academic performance as my college years were coming to a close. As I lost myself in my thesis and trying to complete it and finding that pulling my hair strand by strand may have been less painful of a process. The stress of personal issues happening at home, my deepening depression, and self-inflicted stress from school, led to me smoking a ciggy after being more than 2 years smoke free. Albeit only two lung cancer sticks, but still a moment of succumbing to my go-to distressing vice. I was, however, more determined than ever to survive my senior year being on top. With many late, tiring nights I worked towards ending on a high note. And boy did I. After having graduating high school 19 years ago, I, Ethni, at 37 years of age FINALLY graduated college…as a foreign student…with honors to boot! Can you believe it folks? I actually managed to graduate cum laude. Holy mother of fruitloops, how the frak did I even do that and not go bald? An academic acknowledgement I never dreamed possible four years ago when I started my first year of college. An honor that I can solely chuck up to hard work and determination no matter how much I lacked in confidence or ability. Alas, I finally completed a long held dream to obtain a college degree even if it took me a long time to get there. Of course the dream initially was graduating back home years ago in my dream school NYU-Tish, but hey, there are moments when dreams and goals change depending on what cards you’re dealt with and how you deal with them.

This year I was able to go back home for a visit after being away for five years. Oh how I missed my family and friends and OMG the FOOD. (the latter gifted me 20 extra pounds to take back to the Philippines) As I went back to visit the people nearest and dearest to my heart, unfortunately not having enough time to see all of them, I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. How much has changed in just those five years amazed me. I felt so odd when I visited my old workplace. I hardly remembered the halls I once roamed for three years. It felt so much farther back in time than it was that it almost felt like a dream rather than actual memories. I also found some odd connection to my hometown of Los Angeles that I don’t remember ever having in all the time that I lived there. Perhaps being away for as long I had gave me some new perspective of my birthplace that was something other than being at odds with it and not feeling like I belonged. Basically I can say I don’t hate L.A. as much as I did when I was so desperate to move away from it.

After graduating, I had so many things I still needed to complete before I could even begin to search for my new direction in life. I had to change my student visa status which was a trying and pricey task. I had to finalize the printing and binding of my thesis which I finally managed to do only a month ago…ahh ever the procrastinator that I, at times, can be.

As a part of my student visa downgrading tasks of having to deport myself briefly and return with tourist visa status, I was able to check off yet another goal of mine from my ever changing and growing bucket list. My ma and I made a three day vacation of it in Tokyo, Japan. This was a city I had wanted to visit for years but had to work at convincing my mom to let our trip itinerary be in Tokyo. With her memories of WW2 as a child, I couldn’t really blame her but thankfully she finally said yes. Tokyo is a remarkable city with a lot of history and traditions. We found the Japanese people to be some of the most respectful, disciplined, welcoming and helpful people we ever had the honor of meeting throughout our travels. There were a handful of standout moments like where one young lady even walked opposite of her direction to help show us where our hotel was. I definitely will make plans to return one day but for longer than the three days we were there and make sure that I go to Mount Fuji.

Out of what I had hoped to accomplish from what I wrote last new year, I only managed to check off a few but hey, we all know that even one being checked off is practically a miracle for many of us.

I did get to learn a new language, bombarding my phone with language apps. I have managed to nearly memorize the Hangul alphabet. Now I just need to start memorizing the actual vocabulary and I’ll be good. I can now at least read several of the ingredients on Korean cosmetics and skincare products. I have also added some words in Chinese, Japanese, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Gaelic, and Russian. (I tried Arabic but I need a one on one assistance with that one rather than an app) In one or two more years I hope to at least be mediocre in my ability to speak and understand Korean while learning a few more words from other languages. Of course I sometimes get confused as hell mixing up foreign words and their translations in my head. Some Chinese leaks into Korean sentences and Portuguese gets muddled with Spanish, Italian and French. The proper pronunciations and accents also get flipped around. I already had this issue with my second language, Tagalog, finding itself mixed in with my first language of English (U.S.) With my memory issues also adding to this problem, I may find myself one day accidentally saying a multilingual sentence without realizing it. I already have a bad habit of going Taglish around people who only understand the English part.

I did cook and bake a lot more this year than I did last year to the point that my mother is complaining that I am spending too much money and time on ingredients for my baked concoctions. I even took the time to cook vegan dishes for much of my school lunches during my last semester. I did love to bake more often than cooking this year thus partly to blame for my added weight gain…

As one recent unsolicited comment from a male FB acquaintance said…”u really fat” Yes, darlin’, thank you so much for that ‘oh so keen’ observation (FYI I have a mirror and a plucking scale of my own. I don’t need input I didn’t ask for nor need. Ever heard the phrase “if you ain’t got nothing nice to say...shut tf up”?) . As he so gracefully put it, yes I’ll admit I added a bit more junk in my trunk this year rather than shedding it. And? Yeah so I admit, I piled on the dessert and snacks and revisited my obsession with video games that had me mimic the physical actions of a sloth or an overly blubbered seal to the point that I nearly gave myself tennis elbow and the posture of Igor. It also didn’t help that my fybro kept flaring up on and off this year which made me feel like a Golden Girl could take me down in one fell swoop and outrun me. Not to mention my constant and annoying friend that is called clinical depression and chronic anxiety that kept nipping at my heels that I’m lucky that I can even act like a functioning human most of the time. The fact that I can tell my inner negative voice to shut the duck up most of the time and ignore it, as well as wishing to not wake up at all only twice this year is a frakking miracle in itself. (Seriously though...what is up with some people that feel the need to foist their shallow insights on those that did not solicit it. And the added ludicrousness that sometimes this is supposed to lead into a flirt-on...I mean what kind of hells bells reverse psychology load of horse manure is that?)

Unfortunately I did not read any books this year but I did read more news articles and try to keep myself up to date on current events. (and try tried to stay sane while reading them)

My writing progress stalled and I only have a long list of story ideas to show from it. There is one story I recently started outlining that I find hopeful. I think it has the legs to be a decent script if I can manage to focus on its development. That will be a big focus this coming year…to gain some momentum in my writing.

(currently being distracted by the onslaught of illegal fireworks popping in my neighborhood, hoping my house and neighborhood manages to survive these irresponsible idiots.)

The promise to keep up with my daily checklist died a hollow death early on in the year with my senior year and thesis weighing me down from being able to stay consistent. Well there’s always next year.

Sadly I didn’t get any higher in Gurushots but I did get one of my shot viewed along with other peoples work at a showing. Yay for the small things!

I did sell several of my clothes and accessories but still way more to go before I can say I am done. Like a HEEP load. Every time I see some clothes I want to buy I have to keep repeating “no more clothes” over and over again. I just try to picture Hasan Minhaj’s piece on fast fashion to control those horrible habits of mine.

Even though I didn’t successfully check off a lot of what I wanted to complete for this year, I still look back to this year as a decent one even with my ever present depression and anxiety looming over me. Dude, I graduated college, I learned a new language, and I knocked off Tokyo from my bucket list. I think that was enough to make my year above meh and almost a big YAY!

As I near the close of this annual report of mine, I list these goals and hopes not set in stone but in rainbows (oh yes I just went there into ridiculousness!!!)

May I find a job I actually like rather than what I just deem as a necessary obligation to obtain a paycheck.

I will learn enough Korean to be able to legitimately claim that I am multilingual.

Finish reading the books that I have collected on my shelf before I leave the Philippines.

Cook and bake with a bit more flair and add more complicated dishes to my repertoire.

Sell and clear out more of my shit to prepare me for our move back stateside if all goes according to plan.

If I manage to shed enough off my caboose to fit in the jeans I already own that will be a small victory in itself and the only goal that deals with my rollipollies for the year. If any extra manages to come off along the way that’ll be just an added bonus.

Hitting reset on my daily checklist and will do my best to let it last longer than last year (I can say that now as it is currently past midnight and officially 2020 in my neck of the woods)

If I do move back stateside this year I will start saving towards my future goal of getting me a tiny home. (Seriously the perfect solution to my wanting a permanent home but not a permanent address and thus my added reason to shed the burden of most of my crap)

Complete my story outline and treatment and finalize the first draft of a 45 minute script.

Delve a bit more into my art and photography as well.

Get more sleep…(crappy sleeping habits I can lay blame to my current gaming and ongoing kdrama addiction and mindless internet browsing habits)

Begin volunteering once again.

With my final moving destination still unknown dependent on the job prospects I get, pretty sure I won’t be able to mark off any other travel destinations or adventures for the coming year.

Just be healthier not only in body but in mind and soul overall. I need to work on alleviating my health issues that aggravate my fybro as well as my anxiety. If my brain could shut the frak up and calm the frak down, and keep my ma’s schizophrenic outbursts and episodes to no more than an hour a day at least once in a while would be oh so lovely.

As long as I keep going and progress even in baby steps I will eventually get there.

For those that know me and my political ideology, they know what I especially hope for this year. Please oh please if there are any actual deities that exist or even if there isn’t…please let that outcome be a good one.

Now I end my annual New Year musings with a Happy New Years greeting to everyone. May we all find good and peace in this new year and may we have a better decade than the last one.

Goodbye 2019, I can’t say I’ll really miss thee. And goodbye to another decade.

Hello 2020, be better dammit and I promise that I will strive towards making it a positive and productive one for me, my family, my friends and with that, some decent contribution to this world we all live in.

#happynewyear #newyearsresolution #newyears2020 #goals

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loweredexpectations365 · 5 years

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Rituals

So, I guess I’ve been living under a rock, but I just learned that spring cleaning (outside of like cleaning just your house or garage or whatever) is a whole concept. There’s that whole spring rebirth and renewal my yoga teachers talk about, and apparently it’s like a known thing to everyone that “spring is a great time to regroup and re-prioritize and re-invent” and stuff. I was not aware of this previously, but I think it’s good for me to keep in mind, since right now, the only choice I have is to reset, and make impactful changes in my life. If I don’t, well, there is no if I don’t. I have to.

My life for the past...forever, has been a perpetual fight with myself. I was raised in a strict environment, so I’m really bad with rules. Like, I just don’t like following them. I was always forced to follow rules and so the moment I realized I actually have free-will (very late in life, like everything else), I started exercising it, probably too much. But I also have a desperate and compulsive need to please people, so I really want to be able to respect rules, laws, disciplines, routines, all of those things. So instead, I just pretend I believe in and respect rules, and say yes to whatever people tell me, and then do whatever the hell I want. It’s the easiest way to be myself in a world I don’t naturally fit into.

An example of this is my total and complete inability to comply with the rules of time. I am never, ever on time for anything (except very necessary things that would absolutely destroy my life if I missed - but even then it’s a close call). I think time is like some kind of abstract thing I can just stretch and extend whenever I want. I don’t manage my time like normal people do. I wake up whenever, I do stuff, and I NEVER get to any social event on time ever. As you can imagine, I have a lot of friends that love this quality about me. The thing is, my people pleasing side is what gets me there, to show up. And people keep me around because I really know how to show up. I commit to the moment and I am present and I listen and I engage and I follow the rules of pleasing people. But without that, my rebellious side would probably have me skip whatever I want and show up here and there, probably just when alcohol is involved.

I’m a notoriously immature creature. I’ve never let go of my youth, like at all (I’m also very bad at letting go, so I’ve been told). In some ways my immaturity is one of my favorite features about myself, but it also has a lot of drawbacks. The positives are that I’m a lot of fun to be around, I laugh freely, make stupid jokes, I’m relatively down to earth, I’m not easily intimidated by other humans and because of that, I’m not very threatening or competitive (that’s not to say I don’t get intimidated, cause I definitely do - but I think I’m too oblivious to be a normal, socially acceptable level of intimidated most of the time). The drawbacks are that I’m loud, emotional, undisciplined, disorganized, fidgety, and severely lack focus, discipline and direction. Okay so there are more cons than pros, whatever, I don’t want to talk about it. Literally this is me (except I never autonomously wake up at 7am ever in my life):

I guess what I’m getting at here is that by nature, I have a lot of bad habits. It took me a really, really long time to accept that I have to change those bad habits. Like right now. And that I’m responsible for making that change. People say acceptance is the first step to recovery, but I’m not sure about that. I think accepting a situation isn’t enough, it’s accepting the need to change RIGHT NOW that’s necessary. Accepting the responsibility for your actions and your future. I’ve known about my bad habits for a really long time. I just have procrastinated on changing them. I’ve always thought, “eventually, I’ll get better.” Like it’s not really my responsibility to make difficult changes, I can just wait for life to make it easy for me. But eventually is never, and all that bullshit about the time is now is unfortunately true, I’m finding out. Anyway, I need to like, “spring clean” (I hate everything) those habits out. And, as they all say, the best thing about hitting rock bottom is that there’s nowhere to go but up. I firmly believe that last week I hit rock bottom. Now I have to work on going up. And growing up. Yuck.

Speaking of growing up, the quote below was written by the fucking singer from My Chemical Romance. Who knew he could be so deep? I used to listen to MCR back in 2006, when I was at my peak immaturity level, so it’s ironic that I’m coming back to this when I’m trying grow up. But I get it. Like, I really get it.

I think I died inside last week. I don’t know how or why I’m still here, but I am, and that’s what matters. So, I have to, like a goddamn phoenix, rise from my ashes.

Anyone who knows me knows I’ve never believed in or loved myself. It’s not something I know to do. I pretty much spend the majority of my time hating myself and everyone around me, and believing in close to nothing. The only thing I’ve managed to force myself into believing is that my self hatred results in self deprecating humor, and my natural warmth is comforting, and if I can make enough people laugh and happy and comfortable, I can sustain my existence just a little longer. I can get the love and belief from others to fuel myself for a moment, and it works. Until that moment is gone and I am alone and miserable and lost and confused. I haven’t learned yet to use my own belief and love for myself to keep me going. But the way I’ve been living is unsustainable, and if I don’t learn to love and believe in myself, I’ll just keep struggling forever. I hate that, because I literally don’t even like typing that I have to learn those things. I’m like leaning away from the computer as I type. This notion hits a deep, insecure part of me that is scared I’m not good enough to ever be loved, even by ME. Isn’t that crazy?!

My mom always says, “Scherezad’s the type of kid that has to fall on her face to learn a lesson, you can’t tell her, she won’t listen. She has to learn on her own.” That couldn’t be more true. And it remains true now that I am a stupid adult (who the hell allowed me to turn 30?!). I absolutely fell on my face last week. I am still face down. But I’m wiggling my fingers and toes and trying to muster the strength to peel myself back up. I am trying to use the energy from the spring rebirth vibes and the love from my people to create new rituals, positive changes, and new perspectives.

It’s really fucking difficult, let me tell you. I do not want to do this. I want to take the easy road, numb the pain and deny my problems. I want to stick to my bad habits, and pretend they don’t exist like I have been. I don’t want to rip and break and build new muscles. I don’t want to reflect and look within and heal and get better, because it’s HARD. It requires change, and oh my god do I hate change.

But my face is literally smashed onto the ground. I’m up against it. And if I want to get up (most days I don’t), I have to do what’s hard, even though I don’t want to do anything at all. What I finally figured out is that even if I’m not strong enough to do everything myself, I have support, and people to help me get strong because for some unknown reason, they care a lot about me. And because of that, I have to really like, give it my all. Then, if I fail, at least I know I did everything I could. Cause up until now, if I’m being completely honest, I haven’t truly tried to be better. I’ve tried to take the easy right and escape. And that sucks.

I’m spring cleaning. Starting over. Growing up. Creating new and healthy rituals to replace those old bad habits. Whatever you want to call it. I am doing it, super late in life (did I mention I’m 30 in this post yet?), thank you very much, but I’m doing it because I owe it to the people that put their life on hold to be there for me. And also, I guess, because I fucking CAN.

#spring #rituals #rebirth #rebuild #renew #loweredexpectations #change #habits #believeinyourself #loveyourself #springcleaning

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marvelsmagic · 6 years

Text

Light - Peter Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!reader

Summary: Y/N is at university at the New York Film Academy. While working on a documentary for a school, she ends up recording something she probably should not have seen.

Warnings: stress, sad animals, and a very cute shirtless peter parker ;)

Words: 1615

Song: Light / Sleeping at Last

AN: This is my first fanfic! I’ve been wanting to do this for years, and I finally decided I want to give back to all of the creators and the community that has inspired, entertained, and shaped me for years! I hope that with time and practice, my writing will improve and I will be able to create work that you will all enjoy. Thank you so much for reading. Constructive criticism is always welcome, although please be kind.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or content of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The smell of coffee immediately flooded your nostrils as you walked into the quaint corner coffee shop. It was a pleasant distraction from the stressful day you’d been having. You quickly walked up to counter and order a coffee to-go, having no time to savor the aesthetic of the cute little building as you normally would. The barista looked at you with a pitiful look in her eyes. Wow, your appearance must be worse than you thought. You reached your hand up to your head to attempt to tame the gnarled mess of hair that lied there.

Your documentary for your film class was due in 72 hours and it was still far from finished. While you had thought of the title, message, and overarching theme for the project, you still had not actually filmed the ending of it. You had raked through every street of New York, looking for something to spark your interest and drive the message of documentary home. So far, your luck had seemed to run dry.

Walking out of the coffee shop, you were met with a nice fall breeze. Pulling your camera bag over your shoulder, you continued your quest for viable content. As you walked down the street, you scanned the buildings and the people. You were desperate to find something to film. Mentally scolding yourself for procrastinating this project, you rounded the corner of a busy street, carefully observing the cars and people. As you walked past an alley, a stray dog curled up near a couple of trash cans caught your eye.

While you hesitated at filming the poor animal, showing the animal’s unfortunate situation would really drive the theme of your documentary home and could potentially bring about some change. You vowed internally to find the poor boy some food and hopefully a good home after you filmed him. As you entered the alley, you tried to coax the dog from its’ place near the trash cans. The pup uneasily got up and walked over to you, clearly hoping you had food to share. You raised your camera and began recording. The dog looked up at you with pleading eyes. It nearly brought tears to your eyes. If this would not change people’s mind about society’s downfall, you doubted anything you filmed could. You continued recording the dog’s behavior for a few moments. Just before you were about to press the end recording button on your video camera, you heard a loud crash coming from further into the alley and saw a blob of red and blue fall from the sky.

Now, normally you pride yourself on your street smarts. People had always told you to be careful living in New York. Your parents almost had not let you attend the New York Film Academy, but they had let you go on one condition: always be safe and smart. This is the exact reason you were scolding yourself in your head as you ventured deeper into the alley, most likely towards imminent danger.

Holding up your camera, you kept walking into the alley, trying to be as quiet as possible. As you moved further into the alley, your eyes were met with the very bare, very muscular back of a boy only wearing boxers.

“Oh My God,” you gasped immediately, trying to avert your eyes from the boy’s naked back but failing miserably. The boy turned around quickly and met your eyes and camera lens with wide eyes. “Pretty brown eyes” was the first thought your brain could process. You mentally smacked yourself for this entire awkward situation you had gotten yourself into. You quickly pressed the end recording button, realising that you probably seemed super creepy for recording a nearly naked teen in a deserted alley.

“I’m so sorry. I just heard a crash come from back here and thought that...,” you rambled aimlessly before cutting yourself short. You immediately looked down at the ground, ashamed at yourself. While looking at the ground, you noticed a very familiar red and blue suit on the ground next to the boy. The boy could see the mental pieces coming together in your mind.

“Y-Y-You’re Spider-man?” you breathed, just loudly enough for the boy to hear you. The boy turned a billion different shades of red all at once. His eyes got so big, you worried they would fall out of his head.

“No! No, I’m not,” he quickly spat out. He knelt to the ground, trying to scoop the suit into his backpack. You could not believe what was happening before your eyes.

“You’re Spider-man!” you said, more confidently this time. The pieces were coming together in your head. You had always thought Spider-man was an adult. You never would have guessed that the masked hero would be a teen. He looked to be no older than 18 or 19. You imagined having that weight on your back as a college student. Protecting the city could not be an easy feat to accomplish, especially for someone so young. This boy clearly had a heart of gold.

“Listen, I know you did not ask to know any of this. I can’t believe how careless I was,” the boy finally admitted while throwing on clothes as fast as he could, “but I need for you to keep this a secret.” While you had been stuck in your head silently, the boy had moved closer to you and was staring at you intently, making sure you were going to comply. He was so close to you, you could feel his breath on your face.

You swallowed loudly. You were unsure if you could keep a secret of this magnitude. This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to you. The way the boy was gazing at you was making you light-headed. You reached out for the nearest wall to support yourself.

The boy stepped forward to help steady you, realizing that you clearly were not handling this information as well as he would have hoped. He placed his hand lightly on your shoulder, a simple gesture of comfort. It made you feel better. After a few moments, your head had stopped spinning. You looked at the boy. His eyes were concerned and pleading at the same time. You knew what you were going to have to do.

“Okay, Spider-man. I will keep your secret,” you said with certainty. The words felt crazy coming out of your mouth. Seeing his sigh of relief made it worth it though. His body posture visibly changed and he seemed to almost relax.

“Thank you um...,” the boy paused and blushed as he realized he still did not know your name.

“Y/N,” you supplied for him quickly, smiling at his red cheeks.

“Yes, Y/N,” the boy replied. “I’m Peter. I guess it’s only right that you should know my name now that you know my biggest secret.” The boy chuckled lightly. His laugh might just be your new favorite sound. His eyes held a glimmer of humor in them. You felt your cheeks getting very hot all of the sudden.

“Very nice to meet you, Peter,” you said with a light laugh. “Although I cannot say it was under normal circumstances.”

“Not normal for sure,” he said while grinning, “but again, I’m sorry you got dragged into this. I know how much of a burden this secret is sometimes… and since you have it on film…. Speaking of that… um.”

The boy was stumbling for words, clearly frazzled. You gave him a confused look. He shot a look to your camera, still laying in your hand. It finally clicked in your head.

“Oh!” you exclaimed. “I’m a film student and I was filming my documentary. I never was going to post the footage of you. I’ll delete it once I get to my computer.”

“Okay. I trust you, not that I really have a choice,” the boy laughed again. You could really get used to that sound. The boy looked around the alley, clearly searching for something to talk about. You wondered how someone so awkward could still be so cute at the same time.

“Well, Peter, I would love to keep chatting, but I have a huge project to edit and a really cute dog to find,” you said while placing your camera into its bag.

“A dog?” Peter asked, clearly confused but also intrigued. He had never met someone like you. You were almost as awkward as him!

“A stray dog,” you confirmed. “The little pup helped me out with my project, so I think it’s only right that I help him out with some food and try to find a home for the little guy.” You grinned at the thought of the little dog finding a home and a family to care for him.

Peter was in awe. Not only were you the cutest girl he had ever seen, you were also a dog-saving hero. He needed to spend more time with you.

“Maybe I can help you find the dog,” he spat out. You looked at him eagerly.

“Really?” you asked. “That would be such a help!” You smiled at him and he smiled back. His smile was making your stomach flip over itself.

“Yeah, well, I am spider-man after all,” Peter said. “It’s in the job description.” Peter grabbed your camera bag gently from your shoulder and swung it over his shoulder. You looked up at the sky. Had it always been so blue?

And with that, the two teens walked out of the alley together, calling and whistling for a cute stray dog and beginning something that would change both of their lives forever.

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