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emberfrostlovesloki · 6 months

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Talent [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@lavendair) Center (@hotchs-big-hands) Right (@muresetivoire)

Prompt: An inebriated Aaron finds out that the readers has a hidden talent and they offer to show him it later. When they get back to his apartment, more sober, Aaron apologizes, feeling awkward for getting them into this situation. They (the reader) honestly asks Hotch if he would let them do it anyway?

Pairing: Hotch x gender neutral reader. The reader uses they/them/their pronouns

Catagory: Hurt/comfort/smut

Word Count: 6.8K

A/N: Content warnings below the cut. This is a NSFW story. Minors DNI. 18+ only readers for this one. Please respect this boundary. A few things here so please bare with me. This was inspired by a little conversation between @softhairedhotch and @hotchs-big-hands That conversation can be found here (link)

I loved the idea and I got this wrote this. As usual, my writing got a bit more somber than I expected. Maybe that’s just my style idk? One last thing before you can actually read this thing, I insinuate that Hailey cheated on Hotch later in their marriage. I think this is an assumption the show makes, but never explicitly states. I don’t mean to slander Hailey in any way. I think she’s lovely and loved Aaron to the best of her ability. I did this mostly to make Hotch have self-doubt. I stan Hailey in my house. Lastly, this is only my third time posting smut, so forgive me it it’s not perfect. If you enjoy this story, likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated! I hope y’all have a good evening - Levi.

Content Warnings: Sex (slight hand job and blowjob [Hotch receiving]), slight size kink, sex and body doubt (Hotch), Foyet and the stabbing incident mentioned (mentioned that the attack was possibly psycho-sexual), blood, reference to a gag reflex, drinking (the team gets pretty intoxicated), sex life mentioned (reader and Hotch), Aaron is touch starved, cheating mentioned (Hailey). If I missed any, please let me know.

List will all stories

_y/n_ = your name

_y/c/h_ = your color hair

_y/f/a_ = you favorite actor/actress

_h/l_ = hair length

_h/c_ = hair color - aka brown hair, black hair, blue hair ect.

_d/h_ = dominant hand

Hotch nearly choked on his sip of beer. He tried to hide his coughs by putting his arm over his mouth. He had certainly not expected to hear Penelope, who was seated on Rossi’s rug with many other members of the team, to say, “But you know I might have thrown up because the milk was expired, but _y/n_ wouldn’t because they don’t have a gag reflex.” Aaron watched as _y/n_’s face turned crimson. _y/n_ moved over to Garcia and jokingly shook their friend saying, “Pen, why would you talk about my sex life like that? You see, this is why you can never, ever meet my parents even though you keep asking. We’ll have, like, two drinks and then you’ll start talking about what position I like best.” Upon hearing this, Aaron couldn’t take it anymore. He moved from the living room to the kitchen. He was trying very hard not to think about _y/n_ an array of sexual positions and acts, but he was failing. He was also trying to remember why the team had moved from the couches to the floor. A comment of Spencer's about the rug being comfortable and warm next to the fireplace that was roaring in the center of Dave’s living room might have been the reason. It was all a blur really. They were all drunk at this point. The team didn’t normally do this when they were together, but it was Friendsgiving and the last few cases had been relatively easy by their standards. The team had a few days off, and shockingly they were all going to be in town, so Rossi had invited them all over to celebrate Thanksgiving as a unit. Everyone had brought something and it was nice to just relax and be together. His intoxicated brain circled back to the rug and to the topic of sex and he thought, ‘Oh god, no, no, no,’ but against his conscious brain he began to picture himself having sex with _y/n_ on that soft shagged carpet. In his mind their back was arched, and they were panting as he thrust deeply into them. Aaron was startlingly pulled from his fantasy when his name was called. He looked up and flushed further. It was _y/n_ leaning against the marble countertop. To his credit, _y/n_ also had a flush to their face, and they asked, “What’s got you so flustered over there Mr. Hotchner.” Aaron tried to come up with an excuse, and he opened his mouth, but his brain couldn’t supply a reply, so he just closed his mouth. More mortified now than he may have ever been in front of a member of his team.

_y/n_ walked closer to him, and they placed their hands on the edge of the counter. _y/n_ leaned back on their strong arms which could be perceived in a sensual way. Hotch swallowed, and _y/n_ looked him over. They noticed the bulge in Aaron’s well-fitted black trousers, but they averted their eyes quickly for his dignity, so that they didn’t start getting wild ideas. _y/n_ was grateful that Hotch was a little too disheveled to have noticed them checking out his groin. Finally, after an awkward silence, _y/n_ asked openly, drunkenly, “It’s not what Garcia said earlier that has you so riled up, is it?” There was that small undercurrent of desire in _y/n_’s voice that had Aaron feel a flash of heat rush through him again. Hotch wouldn’t have to answer. His blown-out pupils, arousal, and micro-expressions were enough to tell _y/n_ what they wanted to know. Even drunk this was obvious to them. Aaron gave a small nod, yes, anyway. _y/n_ let out a small laugh before saying, “We see such horrible things in the field and my sexual abilities are what's causing your brain to reboot?” They were teasing him, and Hotch couldn’t help but say, “Well this isn’t the field.” He moved toward _y/n_ and placed his hand on their hip. _y/n_’s exhalation of breath and flush of their skin told Aaron that the touch wasn’t unwanted. He’d never initiated anything romantic or sexual with _y/n_. The small part of his brain that was still functioning normally was screaming at him to stop. That he might regret this when he was sober. But his id was stronger than that voice. As his other hand moved to _y/n_’s other hip, he looked down at them. _y/n_’s eyes were wide and shining with a type of desire he’d never seen on their face before. _y/n_ breathily said his name; “Aaron.” Without much more to think about he asked, “Is what Garcia said true? Or is she just making stuff up again?” _y/n_ flushed and acted askance and replied, “Why Hotch, that’s not a nice thing to ask someone.” Aaron bit back a sigh and applied a gentle pressure to _y/n_’s hips. Their body moved with his touch and _y/n_ truthful answered, “It is true though. It’s my hidden talent that’s rarely used.” _y/n_ looked up at Hotch and the desire, the hunger they saw on his face left them reeling for a second. They knew this was crossing a hundred lines, but in that moment the very feeling of his hands on their body was such a rush that they didn’t fight it. The idea of Aaron’s large hands elsewhere had them boldly state, “I can show you later on if you let me come to your apartment?”

That image actually made Hotch groan. It was quiet, and Aaron was eternally grateful that no one on the team had come in yet to refresh their drinks. Maybe they had all assumed what _y/n_ and he were discussing and were intentionally not entering the room. Aaron asked, surprised at _y/n_’s offer and their willingness to accept, “You’d do that for me?” There was that soft throaty laugh again, and _y/n_ said, “Of course I would Hotch.” Aaron swallowed again and replied, “Okay. But only if you really want to. You don’t have to do anything for me like that if you don’t want to.” _y/n_ moved their hand, patted his shoulder and said, “I promise that you will get enthusiastic consent from me before it happens. And if either of us changes our minds, we can pretend this little conversation never happened.

After this, they headed back to the living room. If the team had been intentionally avoiding them, they hid it well. The members of the BAU seemed to be engrossed watching Spencer speed-read Rossi’s well-worn copy of Critique of Pure Reason by Kant. As _y/n_ sat back down next to Emily, they whispered, “Why are we watching Spence read?” Emily listed slightly toward _y/n_ and said, “We’re going to have Rossi test him on the concepts of the book. Or see if the genius can remember some especially long passages. We want to see how much he can remember when he’s this drunk.” _y/n_ chuckled at the concept. They were now also invested. An hour and a half later the team slowly started saying their goodbyes. At this stage, _y/n_ and Aaron were more in control of their faculties. They were the third party to leave, and they both shared an Uber back to Hotch’s apartment. Because neither of them knew how much they would be drinking that night, they had shared a ride over to Rossi’s together. _y/n_ only lived two blocks over and Aaron promised to walk them the rest of the way home. On the short ride back, _y/n_ and Hotch both gained more clarity, and Aaron was starting to feel uncomfortable with what he had said two hours earlier. His desire for _y/n_ was still there, but he knew he shouldn’t have said what he did. Suggested what he had. As it turned out, Aaron’s desire for his younger agent rarely, if ever waned.

When _y/n_ had joined the team a few years ago, he had quickly found himself drawn to them physically. Hotch didn’t believe in love at first sight, but he couldn’t deny that he had experienced lust at first sight with _y/n_. It was like _y/n_ had been made for him. When Hotch first thought this fully -- not just with the small voice he used to stifle unwanted thoughts with -- he realized how much of a narcissist it made him sound like. It was with that thought that he buried all feelings about _y/n_. He couldn’t risk going there, even in his mind. But with there still being a slight buzz in his head, his mind wandered to how the slope of _y/n_’s shoulders was gentle yet angular. How their _y/h/c_ looked during golden hour, the way their eyes had held his gaze earlier that evening when they had offered to show him their talent. Aaron shifted slightly in his seat to try and readjust himself. His body was having ideas of its own again, and he didn’t appreciate it. Aaron looked over to _y/n_ who seemed to be in their own type of reverie. It hadn’t helped that he found them attractive and that they were such a good person.

On the team, _y/n_ was smart. They could come up with ideas as fast as Spencer and the duo could be often found at precincts and their hotel rooms bouncing ideas off each other at a mile-a-minute pace. They were also fiercely protective of the team. If someone questioned the team, or specifically a member of the team, they were there to professionally correct and support either the team or the member being targeted. He had seen them do it for JJ, Garcia, and Morgan which was funny because Derek could generally take care of himself. But that hadn’t mattered to _y/n_. They had stood up for and comforted Derek in their way. _y/n_ had comforted him too. It was more polite than with the other agents, but they had done it all the same. Aaron knew that _y/n_ felt similarly about him as he felt about them. It was clear in their actions and demeanor around him. _y/n_ hid it well most of the time, but every now and then, he would get a hint that those desires resided in _y/n_ too, and he had to fight his feelings all over again. It was all a mess, and now they would have to talk about tonight. The conversations had been mutually intimate and yes, having his subordinate offer to perform fellatio on him broke about a dozen rules and regulations, but he had continued the conversation. He could have walked away, lied, or done ten thousand other things than being honest and accepting the offer. Aaron stifled another groan of annoyance and embarrassment. He knew he was fucked, or perhaps not fucked, in loads of ways. At least their conversation had been consensual. There was a small mercy in that.

As the car moved down the quiet streets, _y/n_ could feel Aaron near them. They chose to look out the cars window instead of at their companion. _y/n_ needed a few minutes to settle their thoughts. To say _y/n_ was mortified about their behavior during the evening was an understatement. Their attraction to Hotch was undeniable, and they saw the tells on their boss as well. That didn’t make what they had done that evening right. _y/n_ had been shocked by how quickly and hard they had been attracted to Aaron. _y/n_ didn’t know they could feel so intensely until they met him. Of course, there had been teen idols. And they had rewatched a few movies with _y/f/a_ a few hundred times. But that was an actor, and Hotch was a real man in flesh and blood. To mention the fact that he was their boss didn’t help the matter either. In all honesty, everyone on the team had said something more personal than they would have sober during the night, but _y/n_ was certain what they and Aaron had revealed was the most intimate. The street lights continued to pass by in a blur as they approached Aaron’s apartment. _y/n_ knew that things would come to a head when they got there, and _y/n_ couldn’t help but think for one second, ‘Is my desire for him so wrong? God we both feel it. Why couldn’t life be easier? Why couldn’t they just give in for once?” These were the thoughts that swilled within them, between them, as they sped toward their destination.

When they arrived outside of Aaron’s, the two stood outside of his stoop in an awkward silence. Aaron broke it first by saying, “I never should have said anything in the kitchen. I never should have put my hands on you. I sincerely apologize for my actions, _y/n_. I never meant to make this uncomfortable between us. I value your contributions to the team and I’d never view you as a sexual object. I was drunk and it was a mistake.” Hotch realized that he was rambling, and he looked to _y/n_ for their response. They looked back and him and replied, “I started it. Well, Garcia started it. It was out of line for me to approach you like that. I respect you, Hotch. I apologize.” They both stood in the frosty air, under the light of a lone streetlamp. The wind picked up and both parties seemed unwilling to leave the conversation where it was. _y/n_ shuddered against the cold and used a voice they rarely did with Aaron. _y/n_ asked, “Can we go into your apartment for a minute before you walk me home? I think I need to warm up from a minute before you walk me back.” The voice they used was one-third needy, one-third empathetic, and one-third pleading. Though Aaron could be reading into the pleading part of it. Perhaps he just wanted that to be the case. _y/n_ had only spoken to him once before like that and it was when he had gotten injured on a case. _y/n_ had asked him to slow down in the same tone and just like back then, he couldn’t refuse them. Hotch pulled out his keys and unlocked his front door. As they moved inside, he turned on the light above his sink and then he took a few large strides to turn on some lamps in the living space. Aaron gestured to the couch and offered _y/n_ a seat, which _y/n_ took. Aaron moved toward the sink and asked over his shoulder, “Would you like a glass of water?” _y/n_ closed their eyes at the thoughts bombarding them and said, “Yes, please.” Aaron grabbed two glasses from his cabinets and added some ice from the freezer before filling them with water. When he turned back to _y/n_, they had their _d/h_ pinching the skin between their eyebrows; their face in a half grimace. Aaron moved quickly toward them and asked, “_y/n_, are you alright? Do you have a headache?” _y/n_ let out a nervous laugh before removing their hand and saying, “Not yet. But it’s sure to come in a few hours. I’m not a college kid at a pre-game party anymore. I can’t do that kind of drinking without the consequences.” Aaron chuckled at _y/n_’s response. Given that he was a good deal older than _y/n_ him, he could only imagine how bad it might be for himself in the morning. He added taking some Advil before bed to his mental notes. He would do that as soon as _y/n_ was safely home. Even though things had been odd between them for the last half of the night, he would still ensure that they got home safe before he returned to his space to re-wrangle the thoughts that had fought their way back to the surface again. He let out a soft sigh, as he watched _y/n_ take a sip of water.

_y/n_ set their glass down and looked up at Aaron. They asked a question that had undercut the whole night for them. They asked because at this moment having to fake disinterest felt like too great a burden to bear, and because they knew they were already in trouble, so why not face the full consequence? _y/n_ said what was really on their mind with, “What if I wanted to show you anyway? Apart from Pen’s comments? Apart from the fact that I was drunk when I said what I did.” There was a silence and Hotch’s eyes blinked at what they said, trying to register the words; what was being offered. He felt the hitch in his breath as he said, “_y/n_ I…” They cut Hotch off saying, “Aaron. I see how you look at me. And I know that you see how I look at you. I’m sorry, but I can’t keep pretending to not care about you. To not want to give you more.” Hotch blinked a few times rapidly, trying to clear this head of images. Even now that he was in full control of his mind, he couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering. Aaron closed his eyes and said _y/n_’s name in desperation. In shame. They looked up at him and said, “Tell me that I’m wrong. Tell me that I’m wrong and I’ll stop immediately.” As hard as Aaron tried to say no, he couldn’t bring himself to. _y/n_ stood and half maneuvered Aaron to sit on his couch. They knelt and pushed his knees open. Hotch groaned and said, “You can’t possibly want this?” _y/n_ ran their hands over his inner thighs and said, “I’m in full control of my faculties, Aaron. If I didn’t want to do this, I wouldn’t be here. _y/n_ looked over his seated body. He looked so prone like this; exposed. They often wondered about Aaron. How he felt about himself, and his strong body. _y/n_ had noticed that he wore more layers after what had happened with Foyet. The textures and materials of his suits had changed as well. Half of the time _y/n_ was sure he was sweating under all that fabric. _y/n_ gently dropped to their knees and asked Hotch, who was looking at them with trepidation, guilt even, “Aaron, are you alright? What’s going on in that head of yours?”

For the last year or so, after Foyet, Hotch had been physically cutting himself off from close contact of any kind. It brought up too many painful memories of Hailey before she and Jack had to flee to witness protection before she divorced him. When he was younger he had been so passionately in love with her. It was the most he had ever felt in his life, and with his childhood the way it was, there was a great comfort in that. When he and Hailey had met again as adults, those feelings were still there and they persisted throughout his time in law school and his short stint as a prosecutor. But when he had joined the BAU things had changed. At first, there had been a thrill for both of them. But with time, Hailey seemed to grow tired of his constant comings and goings. His late nights in the office under Gideon. Their sex life had changed and what used to be passionate and loving sex turned into less passionate more need-based sex from either himself or his wife. Then Jack happened, and Gideon’s incident in Boston which left even less time for him to spend with his wife and newborn son. Again sex changed for them because Hailey needed time to heal and Jack took up most of their time when Aaron was home. When they had been intimate at that stage it felt different. It happened rarely and he could feel Hailey withdraw from his touch sometimes. A few months later when he started to assume that she might be acting unfaithfully to him he started to understand why his wife was so hesitant to be around him. Aaron didn’t want to believe it was true. He wanted to think that it had something to do with him. Some shortcomings of his character or body. When it came out that she had been seeing someone else, Aaron forgave her. He still loved her deeply and he knew that he had his own issues; being around was the chief one for his wife. Some part of him understood why she had sought comfort in someone else while he was away even though he would never do that to her. A part of Aaron still thought that there was something wrong with him, his body, and his performance in bed. And the last time he and Hailey had really, intentionally tried to be intimate, his own doubts and the thought of her with another man had not allowed him to finish. Aaron didn’t assume that was the death knell of their marriage, but part of him factored it in.

Then Foyet had physically assaulted him, his body. Hotch never told anyone, and the team didn’t say anything, but he had wondered if Foyet was seeking some sort of sick sexual release with the knife as a subsite penis. Aaron had passed out from blood loss before he could know the answer to that question. Aaron was grateful for that to this day. So the idea that _y/n_, the kind and caring person they were was interested in him sexually was rather unbelievable to him. It had been so long since he had been sexual. He even stopped allowing himself to touch himself if he woke up aroused. He felt like he deserved it. He didn’t know how he would act, or perform if he accepted _y/n_’s offer. Thinking about it made him nervous. And yet, his desire for _y/n_ persisted.

Hotch swallowed and he suddenly felt like he needed ten glasses of water instead of the one he had just consumed. He looked down at _y/n_ and replied, “I shouldn’t even be sitting here. These thoughts… they.” Aaron felt embarrassed at himself and looked away, not really knowing what to say. It had been so long that he had felt a desire this strong. It had been even longer that someone had been this intimate with him. Even to have his legs spread and _y/n_ looking up at him with such care. They hadn’t even fucking done anything yet. Aaron closed his legs and _y/n_ let him. They wanted Hotch to know that he had full control of his body. Of what happened, if anything did end up happening. _y/n_ stood and leaned close to him. With a tender care, _y/n_ took his chin in their hand and directed his face to look at them. _y/n_ said, “Desire isn’t a sin Hotch. There isn’t some cosmic scale weighing whether you looked at some girl crossing the road five years ago. It’s a natural feeling; and it’s not wrong to feel it. If anything you’ve been restraining yourself. So have I. I care about you too much to just keep dreaming about you at night. It feels like I’m using you. So now you know how I feel. Now would you please let me do this for you?” Aaron had to blink back a few tears at _y/n_’s statement. It was so honest that he could hardly see past it. It was blinding in its sincerity. To know that _y/n_ felt like him in that way made him feel warm in a different way than his body responding to theirs. As a last half-assed defense, he said quietly, “I’m your boss.” The chuckle _y/n_ let out had his eyes on them in an instant. Laughter hadn’t been the response he had expected. _y/n_ was wearing their ‘color me surprised’ face. And Aaron laughed at the expression too. It was no surprise to both of them. But this wasn’t about power dynamics, it was about tenderness and longing, and when _y/n_ asked, “Would you let me take care of you?” He nodded his head yes and then verbalized that he wanted it too.

With his consent given. _y/n_ pressed into him. Their hands found traction on his biceps, and they moved their mouth over his neck. _y/n_ could feel his steady pulse under their mouth. At the contact, Aaron let out a sigh. His body reacted almost immediately. He shifted slightly, closed his eyes, and moved his head to the side a bit to give _y/n_ better access to his flesh. When Aaron had gotten in the apartment, he had discarded his suit jacket and tie to be more comfortable. His shirt however was still buttoned tightly. _y/n_’s hands worked at the top two buttons, but they were struggling as they tried to keep their mouth on Hotch’s skin while doing the buttons at the same time. _y/n_ was both kissing and sucking at the sanative area. Aaron moved his arms to slide between their bodies, as he undid the troublesome buttons. _y/n_ hummed their thanks, and as they moved to treat his clavicles and breast bone, they breathed hot and heavy over his neck. The semi-excited state of his cock grew quickly. _y/n_ moved over the area with a reverence. While their mouth worked over his partially exposed torso, their hands also moved. Their right hand was tracing the lines of his muscle on his stomach and the other was slowly trailing up and down his left thigh. When _y/n_ placed their hand over his hardness, shielded by his pants and briefs, he groaned -- loudly. He felt embarrassed, and _y/n_ looked up at him and said, “It’s okay to feel. I want you to enjoy this.” With how large he felt under their hand, _y/n_ was excited to see his manhood.

They moved back to their knees, and this time, as they pushed his thighs open, Aaron let it happen. _y/n_ set one hand on his hip and the other moved under his linen shirt, wrinkling it. _y/n_ started kissing at his knee and slowly moved up his thigh. As they got close to his arousal, which was throbbing hard against his underwear and the zipper of his pants, they moved to the other leg and began the process again. Hotch let out a shaky breath. Whatever hesitations he had been having at the start were as far away as Neptune now. The slow buildup was driving him insane. Finally, _y/n_ made it to his groin and kissed over his erection. From what they could feel, he was large. Long and wide. As _y/n_ made their tactile observations with their mouth, they thought back to the dreams they had had of Aaron. He was always well endowed in them, but now that they were here, he might even be bigger than they had imagined. _y/n_ thought, ‘Of course he’s big. This is Hotch we’re talking about.’ They refrained from laughing but did let out a small breath. Their thought might be funny to them, but it might come off very differently to Aaron. They didn’t want to think they were laughing at him. They never wanted that. Once they had kissed up the tip which was being held down by his belt, _y/n_ moved their face away and started to undo the buckle of his belt. The metal was cool under _y/n_’s fingers. Once the belt was slipped through the front two belt loops and the two at his hips, _y/n_ shifted forward and grabbed the hem of his shirt. They moved the stranded weave fabric up, exposing his stomach. _y/n_ leaned in and kissed over his belly button. Their tongue licked over the well in his form, and Aaron moaned again. _y/n_ then moved to kiss one of the exposed scars on his body. He looked down at _y/n_ like this, and he wondered what it would be like with him in her mouth? He stopped himself from bucking up at the thought. While _y/n_ had been working over his body, his breathing had picked up. At this new sensation, he whispered their name. _y/n_ made quick work of the buttons and zipper of his pants. They were careful that there were no unintended snags as they tugged the small pull down. _y/n_ looked over his cloaked member. They kissed the shaft and then moved their hand to press against it before slowly stroking it through his grey briefs. _y/n_ used their pointer and little finger to stimulate the sides, while their ring and middle finger applied pressure to the front of his penis. _y/n_ didn’t tease him with their hand too long. This wasn’t the pleasure Olympics. They didn’t know how much stimulation Aaron was used to, and _y/n_ didn’t want to overdo it for him. Before _y/n_ removed the final layer of clothing, they looked up to Aaron again to ensure he was still on board with this last exposure. Hotch looked into their eyes, the question evident to him. In a deep voice, one full of need, he said, “Yes. If you’re willing.” _y/n_ replied in the affirmative, saying, “I want to.”

With consent given, _y/n_ tugged at the elastic band of his briefs. Aaron put his weight on his feet and lifted his hips for them. _y/n_ pulled down the fabric and revealed his member for the first time, as it rested on his body. He was large and as Hotch settled back down on the couch, they looked over him with pleasure. _y/n_’s hand circled the base, and they started pumping up and down with a steady pace and pressure. They praised him saying, “You’re very impressive Aaron.” Their praise and the feeling of their hands moving over him had him squirming and breathing heavily. He was starting to sweat now, and he had never imagined it would be like this. Because if he had, he would never be able to let go. But now that it was actually happening, he couldn’t care about the complications. He felt so good with _y/n_ rubbing their hand against his cock, and he muttered, “Fuck, _y/n_. You’re so good.” They smiled, and he cursed again as _y/n_ used their other hand to stroke and circle the base of his member. _y/n_ didn’t spend a very long time with their digits, after all, they had promised to show Aaron their talent, and having him cum in their hands was not on the agenda. So _y/n_ removed their _d/h_ from the shaft and Aaron’s eyes grew wide with the sudden loss of contact. He felt like he might explode if didn’t have that stimulation moving over him. He was about to say something, but the breath was forced from his body as _y/n_ took the tip in their mouth. _y/n_ shifted on their knees a bit to be able to best take Hotch in. The carpet under their legs was decently comfortable, but the wood floor underneath was solid. _y/n_ paid attention to the tip first, suckling it and running their tongue over the slit on the top. Aaron tried to take a steadying breath, but he was falling apart at the sensation of pleasure rushing through him. When _y/n_ was comfortable with the feel of him, and had built some confidence at being able to take him in, they pushed their tongue down and hollowed their cheeks. Carefully covering their teeth, _y/n_ moved their mouth further down his length. At this, Hotch tipped his head back and moaned again. _y/n_ wasn’t even halfway down him before some precum leaked from the tip. _y/n_ pulled up and sucked the briny ejaculate off his cock. _y/n_ swallowed it quickly and moved back to working him over. They would think more deeply about the taste of Hotch’s cum later, but for now, they wanted to keep hearing Aaron mutter their name, or try to keep his breathing even. They could feel from his reactions and the throbbing of his cock that he wasn’t in control at all, even if he was trying to be. _y/n_ momentarily wondered how long it had been since anyone had done this for him.

Aaron's width not only filled their mouth, but his length, even though they didn’t have a natural gag reflex, was still a bit too much for _y/n_ to fully cover with their mouth. About an inch was left exposed to the cool air. Before _y/n_ moved their free hand to make up the difference, they looked over Hotch. The sight of him, head tipped back, mouth open sent a wave of pleasure through them. _y/n_ noticed Hotch’s hands gripping the side of the couch with white knuckles. As _y/n_ continued to move over him, they used their free hand to grab Hotch’s left hand from the couch cushion and to set it on the crown of their head. Aaron looked down at _y/n_ as they moved his hand to the back of their head. He hesitated. He was desperate to take what was being offered on top of what was already happening. On top of the bliss and heat, he was feeling in his cock. _y/n_ patted his hand on their head giving him a non-verbal “It’s okay.” Aaron couldn’t help himself, and threaded his long fingers in _y/n_’s _h/l_ _h/c_. _y/n_ continued to move up and down his shaft, and then covered the base of his cock that couldn’t be inside their mouth. With Aaron fully enveloped, he bucked his hips up and as _y/n_ had said, the extra pressure didn’t cause any gag reaction. If fact _y/n_ hummed their satisfaction at his action. He trembled under _y/n_ and thought about what they had said earlier in the night about feelings not being wrong. And moving his hips had felt so, so, blindingly good that he did it again. And then again, and again, and again until he was sure he could feel himself ready to cum. _y/n_ was intently focused on his pleasure. Aaron’s member was lined with a few thick veins running down the side and back. As Hotch started to take control of his own pleasure with gentle pressure to their head, _y/n_ lifted their tongue up and down those ridges on his cock. At this new sensation and the slight sucking that _y/n_ was doing sent him over the edge. Aaron’s hand tightened in _y/n_’s hair, and he came with a shudder. He let out a loud moan and pulled _y/n_’s head off of his cock. They had only taken a bit of his semen in their mouth. _y/n_ wondered why he hadn’t let them swallow his ejaculation, but didn’t ask now. There were still so many things to know about him. Things they hoped they could learn together with time. _y/n_ stroked his thigh softly as he rode out his orgasm. Seeing him so out of control only wanted to make them care for him more.

When the waves of pleasure subsided, Aaron relaxed back into the couch cushion. He closed his eyes because he was afraid of what he would see in _y/n_’s eyes if he opened them. He wasn’t fully sure how to cope with what they had given him. A soft touch of his thigh did eventually made him see _y/n_, and they were looking at him with a care he had rarely seen in his life. He swallowed back some tears, and he patted the couch next to him. As _y/n_ got up from their knees, and sat next to him. He pulled his underwear over his nakedness. His cum was staining his shirt and pants and he would need to launder and shower after he talked to _y/n_. _y/n_ sat and gave him space, but he needed to feel them close to him. To have this living, breathing care in his arms. He turned to face _y/n_ and asked, “May I hold you?” _y/n_ nodded, and Aaron moved his arm to rest behind their lower back. He pulled _y/n_ close to his side, and they turned toward him softly. _y/n_ placed their head on his broad, muscular shoulder. There were a few moments of comfortable silence before _y/n_ said, “You don’t ever owe me anything, Aaron. You know that right?” The question lingered until Aaron’s hand moved to the back of _y/n_’s head, gently running his digits through the smooth hair. A different kind of touch than what he had been doing a few minutes before. Now that he had been sated, he feared that a gulf would form between them. But _y/n_’s comment gave him something to think about, to still his nervous mind. Finally, he replied, “But I do owe you things _y/n_. I owe you safety on the field, and professionalism in the office, and privacy. I feel like I owe you more than those things as well.” _y/n_’s hand was back on his thigh again and they replied, “Okay, valid point. At the job, you do play a different role, but we’re both adults Hotch. We’re not teenagers trying to shag in the high school gymnasium. Given how long we’ve waited for something to happen between us, I think we can keep it together at work.” At this statement, Aaron chuckled lightly. _y/n_ was certainly true about that. After a beat, _y/n_ continued saying, “But is it so impossible to believe that we couldn’t do both? That we couldn’t care for each other outside of work?” Aaron pondered the question. He thought about what they had said. About the profound pleasure _y/n_ had brought him; and not just physical pleasure, but an emotional cover as well made him consider his words wisely, carefully. When _y/n_ was with him like this, it felt like his many flaws disappeared. That he had a clean slate. Hotch closed his eyes and rested his head on top of _y/n_’s, as he said, “I willing to try.”

When it was appropriate, Aaron quickly cleaned himself, changed, and then walked _y/n_ back to their apartment. Before _y/n_ went inside, Hotch placed a hand on their lower back and leaned down to kiss _y/n_’s forehead. They had both agreed to take a day and see if any other feelings, questions, or concerns that might arise once they were apart. They scheduled a meeting of sorts for Sunday to talk more deeply and thoroughly about what this relationship might look like. When they parted for real, Aaron walked down the quiet street. It was late in the night, but he didn’t feel tired. As he walked, he considered how physically closed off he had been the last few months. Close off to the team and himself. But _y/n_ had helped him see the sky again and no matter what happened after this, he would always be grateful for that.

On Monday, _y/n_ went to see Garcia. To honestly say, “What the hell Pen?” However, the technical analyst had been watching _y/n_ and Aaron pine for each other for two years and even though her comment at Rossi’s had been a Freudian slip, she still noticed how the pair spent a long time in the kitchen. How they had both come back flushed, eyes wide. Once _y/n_ stepped into Garcia’s space, Penelope could see that something happened and did a little happy dance in her chair before getting up and dragging _y/n_ into her office, closing the door. Once they were alone, Pen said, “_y/n_ tell me everything.” _y/n_ flushed, a bit exasperated, and said, “The answer is, I may never tell you anything about my sex life again. But thanks, Penelope.” _y/n_ winked at their friend and left the office with a smile on their face. Garcia gave a little excited scream of happiness as she moved back to her desk. Sometimes when things didn’t go to plan, it still worked out.

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