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#Studying in the US after grade 12
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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celestie0 · 3 months
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gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]
kickoff ch.8 a little cottage on the countryside
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ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)
ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.
ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot
ᰔ chapter. 8/x (probably 12)
ᰔ words. 13.5k (...i'm gonna go take a nap lol)
a/n. hello hellooo my dear kickoff readers, hope you're having a nice day so far! this is the longest chapter yet, so i hope you enjoy <3 it's also got one of my favorite tropes everrr hehehehe you could probs guess what it is halfway through. see you at the bottom and happy reading! sorry if there are typos i didn't proofread this one as much as the others haha
nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9 :: ch10 (pending)
☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1
♬.*゚playlist
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You don’t cry much these days, but when you do, it’s usually out of nowhere. 
Like now, as you stand in the school’s photo lab, developing the shots that you took for UTokyo’s game against Osaka last week, and you have to swipe at the tears on your cheek threatening to fall all over the captured images of grass, benches, nets, banners, stands, and him. 
One of the photographs catches your eye, and you pick it up from the table. It’s a candid moment you took of Gojo on the field right before you confessed to him. You had spotted him first while the team was doing their warm-up, and you thought he looked nice from the way he had that concentrated look on his face that you’ve learned to love. But right before you clicked the shutter, he had turned away, chasing after the ball, and so all you could capture was his back facing you as he looked off ahead into the distance. You wondered if that was how it’s always been this whole time–with you looking at him while he’s looking off at something else. It was a depressing thought, but your mind had a tendency for sadness since that day.
The sound of the photo lab door opening jolts you back to reality, and you quickly straighten your posture and wipe your cheek with your sleeve, trying to sniffle as discreetly as possible, then set the picture down. Your fellow film major greets you quietly, asking if you’re still using the developer liquid, to which you say no, then hand it over to them. You stuff your photographs into a folder and head out the door.
You make it across campus to the Film & Media Studies building, then up to the third floor where your professor's office is. His door was ajar, but you still knocked before entering.
He looks up from the photographs he was grading. “Oh, y/n, hello. How are you?”
“I’m well, thank you, yourself?” you ask, taking a seat on the chair that was fixed to face his desk. You pull your tote bag into your lap.
“Great, thanks. How can I help you?”
You slide the folder to him over the scraped, worn burgundy wood of his desk. “I still had to turn in my photos for the assignment due last week. I appreciate the extension.”
“Ah, right,” he says, taking the folder from you. “I’ll get around to grading them. I’m curious, what did you end up choosing for your subject matter?” He tucks the folder underneath the pile that was to his side.
“I took photos of the soccer team’s game against Osaka Uni on Thursday last week,” you tell him.
He frowns at you. “Film cameras don’t have that level of zoom, though. I do hope you followed the rubric guidelines for central object to frame ratio, otherwise I’ll have to take off points.” 
“Oh– I did. I took the photos from the sidelines,” you tell him, panicking already. 
His eyes widened. “From the sidelines? On the field?”
You nod at him, fidgeting with your bag in your lap.
“Wow, I can’t say I’ve ever had a student take photos like that before. That’s pretty challenging to pull off, though,” he says, sitting up straighter, “...you mind if I take a look at them right now?”
You shake your head. “Oh, no. Not at all.”
He pulls your folder out from the bottom of the pile, then gently slips the photos out of them, rearranging them all across his desk. He leans down closer to study some of them, tilting his head curiously at others, furrowing his brow in concentration to a select few. “These are incredible.”
You take in a deep breath. “Thank you, professor.”
He nods at you with acknowledgement, and you watch him as he studies the images quietly for another minute, then looks up at you. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” he asks when he notices you’re still seated.
“Ah…yes, there was something I wanted to ask you.”
“What is it?” He taps his pen on the desk.
“I was wondering if you could write me a letter of recommendation for the film graduate program.”
He nods, like he was expecting the question. “Yeah, of course. Just send me your resume and portfolio.” He taps eagerly on one of your images. “Please send me digitals for these, too.”
You let out a relieved exhale. “Yes, I will. Thank you so much, professor, I really appreciate it.”
You left the building feeling extremely relieved about your professor agreeing to write your recommendation, but also feeling sad because you couldn’t tell Gojo about it, since this was the full-circle moment for the little arrangement the two of you had. There’s a thought that considers texting him, and you take out your phone then go to his name, but your thumbs just can’t bring yourself to send him a message.
The days of the week go by in a blur, and between every single little moment in life, your mind always wanders to him. It’s hard to get over someone when you’re surrounded by them. Like late at night while you’re editing the digitals of the game last week to send to your professor, and you find yourself staring at the pictures you’ve taken of him. It’s hard to get over him when the school worships the soccer team and you’re forced to see promotional banners and posters all over campus with his stupidly beautiful face in them. You didn’t have the heart to block him on Instagram, because you remember that time he teased you about how you didn’t follow him back, and you wonder if it would make him sad if you blocked him, so you just resorted to deleting the app instead. And although you were the one that asked for space from him, you were growing increasingly annoyed at how good he seemed to be at keeping it. 
The library wasn’t even much of a safe space either, since you overheard a group of girls the other day at a table arguing about which of the players on the team is the hottest, and so you find yourself doing your homework on a lovely Wednesday morning at your apartment instead. 
You lean back in your chair and look up at the ceiling, and then jump when you hear your phone ring, quickly turning it over to read the caller ID. Nobara. You accept the call, placing her on speaker, then set your phone back down on your desk. 
“Hey, Nobie, what’s up?”
“Hey, nothing much. Just wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out,” she says.
“Oh, I would love to, but I’m working on homework right now. It’s due in a couple of hours,” you sigh.
“Boo, you whore. For what class?”
“My stats 130 elective,” you say. “I’m a film major, why do I need to know statistics?” You tap your pen to your chin. “Actually, it might be valid.”
“Is that the class with the creepy professor?” she asks. “The one that got caught with a PornHub tab open while he was presenting his lecture slides.”
“Yeah.”
“I took his class last semester! I still have all my homework for it,” she exclaims on the other end, “do you want me to send it over?”
“Yes, omg, I could kiss you right now,” you groan, resting your head on your arm sprawled across your desk in exhaustion.
“So definite no to hang out?” 
“Sorry, I’ll reach out later though,” you sigh, “also, my car is still in repair…apparently something came up with the engine. So we can’t go far unless we invite Mina.”
“That’s fine, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to come if we invite her just to chauffeur,” she says sarcastically. “By the way, how’d the pictures come along? For the newsletter?”
You lift your head up off of the desk in a panic. Shit. You were so focused on turning in your digitals of the game to your professor that you totally forgot you were supposed to send them to Utahime as well. “Oh my god, I forgot. When do they finalize the release again?”
“Isn’t it today at noon? I sent over film club’s photos this morning,” she says. 
You glance at the time. 11:56am. 
“Nobara, I’ve gotta go. I need to call Utahime, sorry,” you say. She acknowledges you, telling you to hurry, and then you hang up.
You call Utahime and scribble down on a sticky note to paste on your wall as a reminder to buy her a loving gift basket one of these days because of course she extends the release deadline just for you. You finish touching up the digitals and then send them to her via email, and after you finish your statistics homework, she calls you again to meet up somewhere nearby.
“Thanks so much for coming here,” Utahime says as she sits across from you at one of the local cafes you frequent. “Also, this chai latte is so good, I’m honestly surprised.”
You nod at her. “This place has great drinks.” You slide a folder across the table to her and she sets her drink down to accept it.
“Sorry if it was a hassle, but I just had to ask for physicals of these photos,” she sighs as she pulls them out. “They’re amazing, seriously, I gasped when I saw them. I’m used to sifting through a lot of professional sports photos for the newsletter, for all of the teams on campus, but I’ve never seen photos as charming as these. It could be the film photography aspect, since most of the ones I see are digital, but I’m seriously shocked you could capture shots like this at a rowdy men’s soccer match.”
You’re shaking your head at her. “Please don’t compliment me so much, I’ll cry. And it’s no issue, I had a spare set of physicals from when I developed them. You can keep them.” 
She smiles at you. “Okay, well then, I think it goes without saying that I’ll definitely be including them for the sports recap this week. I’ll send you the money soon, too.”
You clap your hands together and interlock your fingers. “I’m. So. Grateful. For. You.” 
She laughs across from you and takes another sip of her latte before sitting back slightly, glancing at the photos spread across the table. “Hm…how busy are you for the rest of the semester?”
You tilt your head at her and bring your coffee to your lips, taking a sip before setting it back down. “Not terribly busy, I quit my job last month so I’m just taking my assignments as they come and go.”
Utahime nods at you, a thoughtful expression on her face, and she smooths down the fabric of her shirt. “Okay, well, I got an email from the school this morning that one of the newsletter photographers for the men’s soccer team is moving to a different city, so they’re looking to fill in the position as soon as possible and they asked if I knew anyone,” she mentions, resting her elbow on the table and then placing her hand on her cheek. “They usually only hire professionals, but if I put a word in for you, they’d probably offer it to you.”
Your eyes widen at her from across the table, heart beating a bit faster in your chest. 
“They pay really well for a part-time job. It’s essentially full-time pay for part-time hours,” she continues, “but it’s probably because you’ll have to travel with the team to their away games, including unofficial matches and conferences. If you’re not that busy for the next two months, then I think it’d be a good opportunity for you to build experience.” 
You purse your lips together, considering her words. Although it’s a bit different from your long-term career plans, it was still a great way to get experience before graduate school. And besides, you needed the money, considering you quit your job last month and your savings were starting to run thin–never mind the fact that your car repair bill went from a few thousand yen to somewhere in the tens-of-thousands. And you would prefer to still be able to afford rent. Oh, and eat. Possibly still pay for Netflix.
But then there was the fact that having that kind of job meant that you would be spending a lot of time with the soccer team, and therefore increases the chances of running into Gojo. And you’re supposed to be staying away from him to get over your feelings. 
“It sounds like an amazing opportunity, really,” you start, “...but I can’t.”
Utahime frowns at you and sits up straight. “Really? I thought you’d be excited. Why not?”
You sigh. “It’s complicated.”
“y/n…” Utahime starts, “I don’t really know what’s going on in your head right now, but isn’t this your dream? For your work to reach people? I know it’s only a stepping stone, believe me I know very well the path to becoming any sort of artist is an uphill battle of hell, but I’ve known you for a while now. And I know how much your dreams mean to you, and how hard you’re willing to work for them.”
Your heart swells in our chest at Utahime’s words. She was right, and you were starting to get really sick of letting your fears hold you back from what you really wanted in life. “...you’re right, I’m sorry. I’d love to be considered for the position, if you could recommend me.”
She smiles and nods at you. “Will do.”
The email for the job offer comes surprisingly fast, and you quickly read through it before accepting. It wasn’t a horrible time commitment, given you’d only have to take pictures during active play during matches, give or take a couple hours before, and the photographers rotate between who takes up each of the conferences so the work was split up. You were able to meet a few of the newsletter photographers & journalists during the game last week, so you already knew some of them. The offer letter came attached with a full calendar of the soccer team’s practice schedule, official match schedule, unofficial match schedule, conference schedule, and other publicity schedule, and you’re shocked at how busy all the players must be. The fact that they still have time to be students–and for most of them, active participants in fraternities–was honestly beyond you. 
It seemed like they only had four more official matches left, two being away matches, along with a couple of unofficial matches that they may or may not participate in depending on how the season goes for them. 
Their next game was on Friday against Kyoto university, and you were scheduled to shoot for their sports conference the day following as well. So you find yourself on a train embarked for the countryside, and you peer out of the window with a nervous feeling in your stomach. The sparkling skyscrapers and bustling crowds of Tokyo gradually started to give way into sights of expansive lush greenery, picturesque and charming towns, and winding rivers surrounded by trees. The closer you got to Kyoto, the sky became more gray until a steady drizzle began to fall against the train window. When you reached the final station, the rain had dissipated, and the taxi ride to the hotel was only about fifteen minutes. The journey felt exhausting, and you were so incredibly ready to pass out in a comfy bed. 
You stood underneath a small sidewalk roof near the vending machines lining the outside of the hotel, trying to keep your bag and suitcase with all your equipment in it dry from the remnant soft mist of rain still lingering in the air.  
“Hey, Utahime, sorry to bother you so late,” you say, holding your phone between your shoulder and ear, “but is it the Hilton on 3rd street? Or on Main? Because if it’s the one on Main, then I may have messed up-”
You stop speaking when you hear a masculine voice down the road towards the left, echoing off of the lined up small shops along the sidewalk, and your heart could have recognized the sound anywhere. You’re swift to turn and face that direction, almost dropping your phone in the process, and you see him– the object of all your suffering lately. 
Gojo stood there, wide-eyed and stopped completely in his tracks as the recognition of you under the dim street lighting flashes across his face. He’s in pajamas– a red long-sleeve cotton shirt that looks so stupidly soft and comfortable it almost makes you emotional, with some matching checkered red pants. It was the most casual clothing you’ve ever seen him in. His hair appears damp, slightly tousled, from what you could assume was an effort to dry it off fast. And he had crocs on. In sports mode. You make a mental note to ask him about his charms and if he’s willing to trade any of them with you. But maybe some other day. When it doesn’t hurt to think about him.
“y/n?” he calls your name out, astonished. He’s looking at you like he’s just seen a ghost but in the best way possible. 
You blink at him, heart skipping a beat just from the mere sight of him, and when you hear Utahime’s voice on the line you’re shaken out of your trance. “Oh, sorry, I’m still here. I…I think I just had my question answered. Thank you, have a good night.” You pull your phone down, gaze lingering on your screen for way too long because you can’t brave yourself to look over at the man to your left, and you end the call.
There’s the sound of remnant puddles of water splashing as he takes a few steps closer to you, and you can see his reflection in the water of the one in front of you. The expression on his face matches the one that was there when you last saw him outside of the UTokyo stadium at the west side exit. It’s an expression you could still see every time you close your eyes.
Finally turning to face him, you purse your lips together. “Hi.”
“Hey, what are you doing here?” he asks, voice laced with confusion and you see him take in your appearance with eager flicks of his gaze all around, like he couldn’t believe you were standing in front of him right now.
“Satoru!” another familiar voice calls out. “Did you get the orange-flavored ones too? Choso’s a fucking idiot and got the grape ones instead. I hate those. They taste like medicine. And ass. Not that I would know what–” You see Geto emerge from the darkness to Gojo’s side, and now he’s looking at you with a surprised look too. “Oh, it’s y/n. What are you doing here?”
“Hey, you two,” you chirp, trying to act as if an entire world of awkwardness wasn’t being exchanged between you and Gojo right now, for the sake of hoping that Geto wasn’t a very good judge of energy. “I’m here to take pictures of the soccer team.”
Your eyes flicker to Gojo, who is still looking at you like he’s never seen a person before. 
“Oh, is it for another one of your assignments?” Geto asks. 
“No, it’s not. It’s for the newsletter,” you explain to him, “I guess it’s my job now.”
There are a few more distant footsteps that follow behind the two of them, with the crinkling noises of plastic bags hitting against thighs echoing through the streets, and eventually they catch up. You see Nanami and the UTokyo team’s goalie, you believe his name is Choso, arrive at this little gathering that was taking place outside of the hotel.
“That’s awesome!” Geto exclaims. “I’m sure the newsletter will lead to a lot of exposure.”
“Who reads the newsletter?” Choso asks. 
Geto nudges him with his elbow. “Dude.”
“What?”
He then fills Choso in on the conversation, “Oh, my bad.”
“Don’t worry, y/n, I read the newsletter,” Geto says, “I read it like the morning paper.”
“It only comes out once a week, but nice try,” you respond, giving him a weary look.
Nanami crosses his arms. “I actually do happen to read it,” he says, “although I refrain from the soccer section. Feels rather egotistic to read it. I find the campus politics section to be enjoyable, though.”
The rest of you exchange annoyed glances at that.
“Satoru reads the soccer section,” Geto says, slinging an arm around him, “‘cause he’s full of himself.”
For a moment, Gojo remains silent, while his teammates, who had been observing him with amused expressions, gradually shift to awkward blinking, like they were expecting him to complain, or say something sarcastic, or joke around by now.
“I do read it,” he says, eyes locked on yours. “I saw the release from yesterday. Your pictures were stunning.”
You’re flustered from the way he’s looking at you. “Thanks.” 
Choso opens the plastic bag he was holding, peering down into it. “Shit. Ice cream’s melting, guys.”
“Yeah, we should probably head back to the rooms,” Geto looks at you, “do you want any snacks?”
“Oh, no. I’m good. I was just about to go check-in,” you say to them.
The boys politely say bye to you, and Gojo mentions something about staying back for a bit and hands Nanami the plastic bag he was carrying before they head back into the hotel. And then the two of you are alone under this roof, drops of water falling from it in between the two of you. He takes a step towards you, and you instantly stiffen. He seems to notice because he sighs and then walks past you to the vending machine that was next to you, pulling out some spare change from his pocket and inputting it into the machine.
“Do you want anything to drink?” The machine feeds him something, and he crouches down to pick it up before standing up again.
“No, I’m good, thanks,” you say, hand clutching the handle of your suitcase. 
He cracks the can of his soda open. “So, you’re going to be traveling with us for the newsletter now?” he asks, so concisely, like he felt that every word comes with a tax.
“Yeah.”
“We don’t have to act like we’re strangers.”
You turn to face him. “What should we act like then?”
There’s a hesitant look in his expression as he looks down at his feet and then back up at you. “Can’t we at least be friends?”
The question softens you at your core, the tone of his voice sounding genuine. Being friends with him sounds so nice, and you kind of wish that’s what you two always were. Just friends. Maybe it would have avoided all of this heartache. But deep inside you knew that just being friends with him wasn’t an option anymore, at least not for now. “No, sorry. That’s just a recipe for disaster. I have to go check-in now.”
You grab your tote bag from the bench, grip tight onto your suitcase handle and make your way splashing across the shallow puddles then through the hotel’s automatic doors into the warmth of the lobby. 
The lighting inside was warm and there were moderately high ceilings adorned with vintage-looking chandeliers. Around the perimeter, there were amenities including a cozy lounge with a fireplace, a small bar serving cocktails, as well as a business lounge with booths and multiple TVs mounted to the walls playing the local news. It made you feel like you were on vacation, and getting to a hotel at this hour while on vacation always meant that you were about ready to pass out on some freshly washed and tucked white linen sheets after taking a nice warm shower with a lavender-scented mini soap bar.
Making your way through the maze of plush seating areas, you get to the concierge desk to check-in. There was a professionally-dressed woman with a slicked-back bun standing there behind the counter, her eyes scanning the computer screen in front of her, and a big, burly man that stood behind her wearing all black that appeared to be security.
“Hello, I’m here to check-in,” you say, placing your forearm on the cold black counter.
The lady doesn’t look up from the computer screen. You clear your throat.
“Oh, hello. Name on the reservation?” she asks you.
You take a look down at your phone screen. The reservation was still under the name of the person that had recently quit the job. “Yui Ishikawa.”
The lady behind the counter hums to herself, obnoxiously tapping at the keyboard with only one of her index fingers. She was chewing gum. “Hm. Don’t see that name here.”
“What?” You squint at your phone and refresh the page, then turn it to face her. “But it’s on your official booking site. There was email confirmation too.”
She glances at your phone screen then taps at the keyboard again, still obnoxiously loud, but she uses her other index finger this time. “Yeah, still nothing.”
“This has to be some kind of mistake,” you say to her.
She looks up at you with an annoyed expression. “Do you want to take a look at the screen? See for yourself.” She turns the monitor to face you. 
You don’t even work here, but you could see clear as day on their interface software that there was a reservation for this Yui Ishikawa woman at this time tonight. You point at it. “It’s right there. The reservation is literally right there.”
She turns the screen back to herself and squints at it. “Oh. Well, unfortunately, we already gave that room to someone else. Since it wasn’t there on our system a half hour ago.”
“What? How is that fair?” You were starting to get seriously annoyed. That refreshing shower you were dreaming of was starting to sound more of a need than a want with every passing minute. “Can you give me another room?”
“No, sorry, we’re all booked for tonight,” she tells you, without offering any additional help.
You look at her baffled. The big burly man behind her has now taken an interest in the conversation as well. “Okay…can you tell me if there are any hotels nearby that I could stay at?”
“Look. This is the countryside, ma’am, there are only a handful of hotels in this area that aren’t tourist accommodations. It’s also the night before a men’s college soccer match, and there seems to be some business seminar taking place nearby too. You can call and check, but the closest hotel this large is about an hour away,” she tells you. 
“What? An hour away? I can’t afford a cab ride like that,” you tell her.
“Unfortunately, that isn’t really my problem,” she says.
You blink at her. “Are you being serious? This is ridiculous.”
“Ma’am, we’re going to have to ask you to leave if you can’t comply with our booking rules,” she declares.
“Leave?! You’re the ones that messed up the booking!” You’re yelling now, a few heads turning from the bar at the back. Exhaustion was pulsing through your veins and your filter was slipping. “Do you have any idea how to do your damn job?”
The woman guffaws at you. “Alright, that’s it.” She snaps her fingers, and you watch as the big, burly man walks around the counter of the concierge desk to make his way to you.
You take a step back, watching in horror as he towers over you and grabs onto your arm. “Let’s leave without any issues, miss,” he says in a deep voice.
“What?! But– hey, that’s my suitcase! Don’t– wait–”
“Woah, woah, woah,” you hear a familiar voice call out from the left. “What’s going on here?”
The three of you turn your heads in the direction of the voice, and you see Gojo, still clad in those ridiculously soft-looking pajamas, doing a light jog up to the counter.
The woman at the reception desk straightens herself up immediately, and she pets down on her dress and fixes her hair at the mere sight of him. You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Nothing to see here, sir! Just a crazy woman that can’t comprehend hotel establishment rules.”
“That crazy woman just so happens to be my wife,” he says, pulling the big burly man’s hand off of your arm.
All three of you look at him dumbfounded. 
“Y-Your wife?” the woman asks, sounding equally surprised and disappointed. “But she’s complaining about the fact that she doesn’t have a room.”
“I know, she does that all the time,” he sighs, “she’s got–...early-onset…dementia. Sweetheart, what did I tell you about packing up all your things and leaving the room when I’m not watching you?”
You give him a what the fuck look. He scowls at you to just play along.
“So…she’s with you?” the woman asks.
Gojo nods. “She always forgets that we’ve already booked a room together. Just a silly little sickly lady. Isn’t that right, honey?” He’s holding your shoulders and making you face the concierge woman.
“Y-Yes…” you say awkwardly, trying to put on a smile.
“So, if you could forgive her behavior,” he says with a super pleading voice, pulling you into him so your back is flush against his front side. “I’ll keep her in check from now on.”
The woman lets out a scoff in disbelief. “Alright…just don’t let her out again.” You send her a nasty look. The big burly man lets out a hmph and steps away from you. 
“Sure thing. Let’s go, honey,” Gojo says, grabbing the handle of your suitcase in one hand and your upper arm in his other, dragging you with him across the lobby to the elevators. It isn’t until he’s pressed the up button and you finally gain your footing again after stumbling a few steps that you yank away from his grip.
“What are you doing?” you hiss at him, feeling embarrassed.
He looks down at you with a raise of his eyebrow. “Saving you from getting kicked out of the only decent hotel within a thirty-mile radius?”
“I didn’t need your help, I had the situation under control,” you mumble, smoothing out the layers of your clothing.
“Yes. That’s exactly what that looked like,” he muses as the elevator door opens and he steps inside, taking your suitcase with him as hostage. You panic at the sight and step inside with him, the door closing behind you. 
“Where are we going?” you ask.
“To my room,” he says, pressing a button on the control pad, “you couldn’t get one, right?”
Your eyes widen. “No…I couldn’t.” 
Gojo’s room is on the fourth floor, eleven units down to the right, and you follow him with dragging feet all the way down. Once he makes it in front of the door and takes the keycard out of his pocket, he pauses and looks over at you. “Waiting for you to thank me.”
You narrow your eyes at him. “For what?”
He’s waving the card in the air tauntingly. “You look exhausted as hell right now. I’m the one with the access to a nice hotel vanity and a soft, warm bed,” he practically purrs the words.
You’re instantly folding. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, honey,” he chimes, pressing the card to the reader.
“Stop calling me that,” you grumble as he opens the door for you.
You step into the room, rolling your suitcase inside with you, and take a look around. There was a single bed with the headboard up against the left-side wall, a nightstand on both sides and a desk where you noticed Gojo had his laptop open and a few books out. The bathroom was to the right, and there was a long table that had a coffee machine as well as the TV on top of it.
You place your suitcase against the wall then turn around, standing only a few feet from the entrance of the room, to find Gojo still standing outside in the hallway.
“Do you have to go somewhere?” you ask him. “Why are you just standing there?”
“Oh, I don’t need any of my other stuff,” he says to you, tapping at his pocket where you can see the imprint of his wallet, “room’s all yours.”
Your eyes widen at him. “Wait…are you going to sleep somewhere else?”
He tilts his head at you, as if that was obvious. “Yeah, I was going to go crash on the couch in Suguru’s room or something.”
“But–” you start, stopping yourself. 
He’s waiting for you to speak, but you can’t.
“Well…good night, then,” he says and he turns to the side, about to walk down the hall, when you reach out and grab the sleeve of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks.
This was a bad idea. You’re supposed to be putting distance between the two of you right now, so that you can get over him. This was a man that very clearly said he didn’t have feelings for you. But honestly, you missed him. You missed him so damn much this past week, and you can only be strong for so long. 
“You have an important match tomorrow,” you say quietly, “you should be getting a good night’s rest. We’ll share the bed.”
He turns to face you, looking down at where you were pinching the fabric of his shirt, which was just as soft as you had imagined, and he glances up to meet your gaze once again. “I’m…really confused right now.”
“What if you guys lose and are booted from the competition, and I have to spend the rest of my life regretting the fact that the reason the school lost a 12-year championship streak is all because I made you sleep on a couch?” you ask him.
He takes a step towards you. “You really want me to stay?” His voice was low.
“Yes,” you say. “We’re mature adults. Despite everything, we can just…share a bed for one night, right?”
He’s silent for a moment. “I think you trust me a little too much.”
Your face felt hot. “Are you telling me that I shouldn’t?”
“I’m telling you that you should really think this through,” he says.
“Just stay. Please.” The tone to your voice came off much more desperate than you would’ve liked.
He looks at you like the last thing in the world he could say right now was no. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“Positive?”
“Satoru.”
“Okay,” he says, walking past you into the room, like he wasn’t really in the mood to argue about it anymore.
You sigh, sulking your shoulders a little bit, and watch as he takes a seat at the desk and continues to click through things on his laptop, occasionally sipping on the cup of coffee he had made for himself, as if your presence here was no unnatural thing. 
This all felt so domestic for you. This feels like the most intimate the two of you have been with one another, despite the fact he’s literally made you cum with his tongue before. 
“Who drinks coffee at this hour?” you ask, crouching down to unzip your suitcase, opening it up to find your cosmetics bag and a fresh pair of clothes to change into.
“Caffeine doesn’t really affect me anymore.” His eyes were still stuck on his laptop screen.
“You sound dead inside,” you comment, standing back up straight. You step over your suitcase that was on the floor and head into the bathroom, about to close the door but you open it enough to peer over at him from inside. “I’m going to take a shower,” you announce.
You see him poke his tongue to his cheek, leg bouncing up and down underneath the desk, and he squints at his laptop screen like there’s something so damn important that he must concentrate on or else the entire universe would collapse inside of a black hole. “Cool. Have fun.”
“I will.” 
“I’m glad.”
“No peeping.”
“There’s a lock on the bathroom door. Feel free to use it.”
“That’s rich, coming from you.” And then you’re shutting the door. 
It felt nice to freshen up, especially after that long journey, and then you’re doing your skincare in the mirror while you’re wrapped in a towel, trying to forget the fact that the man you quite seriously have immense feelings for is somewhere outside that door just a few feet away in this small hotel room. You spray a spritz of your perfume onto your skin, something there’s literally no point in doing before bedtime, but you still do it…for no particular reason at all, obviously. 
When you step back out into the room, Gojo’s eyes are instantly on you from where he stood near the closet. He takes in your appearance and lets out a laugh, looking at you with amusement.
“What?” you ask.
“You look so cute,” he says, “with your little sloth pajamas.”
You’re fully blushing as you make your way over to the armchair in the room to set your cosmetics bag down on it to sort through the mess you’ve just made of it. “Don’t call me cute,” you scold, searching for your lip balm. 
You could feel his frown from behind you. “You don’t like it?” 
“No. I love it.”
“I’m not following.”
You turn around to face him. “Satoru. You promised me you wouldn’t lead me on anymore. That includes teasing me or complimenting me.”
He looks at you incredulously. “What? I can’t even call you cute? This fucking sucks.”
“Your problem,” you say.
“So you’re cool with sharing a bed, but you’re not cool with me complimenting you,” he lays it out.
“We’re sharing this bed out of the kindness of my own heart,” you say to him, “because I care oh-so-very-much about your soccer career, and understand how important good sleep is for an athlete’s performance. I’m just that considerate of a person.” You point a strict finger at him. “But for your information, if you touch me while we’re in bed, I’ll kill you.”
“Hm. Not sure if I feel threatened or turned on right now,” he says.
You roll your eyes and finally zip up your cosmetics bag, set it on the table then make your way to the left side of the bed. When you glance at the nightstand, you notice Gojo has his wallet, his phone and his charger all situated there.
“Why’s your stuff here?” you ask him.
“Huh? Oh, I was going to sleep on that side,” he says to you.
“I usually sleep on the left side,” you tell him.
“But I usually sleep on the left side.”
You blink at him.
“I–…I’ll sleep on the right side,” he suggests, shoulders tense and on edge.
“Okay,” you shrug, and move his stuff.
Gojo spends some time freshening up in the bathroom too, and when he comes out he looks like he’s actually tired, and you feel like it’s the first time you’ve seen him look as worn out as he probably should be for someone as busy as him. You’re already settled under the sheets, the duvet pulled all the way up to your chin as you lay on your back. He comes up to the right side of the bed, checking his phone for a few minutes while standing and rubbing at the back of his neck, then plugs his phone into the charger. He grabs the sheets, about to pull them back, when he pauses and looks at you.
“Are you su-”
“If you ask me if I’m sure about this one more time, I will no longer feel sorry for you, and will make you go sleep on the love-stained couch,” you threaten him.
He grimaces at your choice of words and pulls the sheets back, slipping himself into bed. “Why do you have to put it like that? You’re gross. Also, I’m pretty sure this bed has seen less-than-holy things too.”
The only lighting in the room came from the warm, dim bulb of the night lamp at Gojo’s nightstand. An incredibly awkward silence settles between the two of you. Or maybe it’s just awkward for you, because he seems fine. He’s on his back too, looking up at the ceiling, practically motionless but there’s the faintest sound of his breathing every once in a while and it’s a sound you’ve never heard in such detail before.
He turns his head to you, but you don’t meet his gaze just yet. You shuffle a little bit, hip bumping against his side, elbow hitting his arm. He’s masculine next to you, shoulders hard, muscles heavy, but when you finally turn your head to glance at him and see the expression on his face, you realize that everything about him was rigid—except for the way he was looking at you.
“When did you sneak it in?” he asks.
“Sneak what in?” 
“The can of strawberry vanilla soda. Into my bag.”
You swear your heart stills a little in your chest. 
“Before,” is all you say to him.
He sighs. “y/n…”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to feel bad for me. I wanted you to have it, regardless of how I thought my confession would go,” you assure.
It’s hard to read his expression from the side while he’s looking up at the ceiling, but it’s softer than it was a second ago. The need to change the subject consumes you.
“Why do you have calluses on your fingertips?” you ask him. “You’re a soccer player, you don’t use your hands for anything.”
“I play the guitar,” he replies simply.
You perch yourself up on an elbow, looking down at him with interest. His eyes flicker to your face. “Really?”
“No. I was just kidding. Hate the way you got excited though. I might have to pick up a guitar now.”
“Can you just answer me?” you sigh, flopping down onto your back again.
He laughs a little, a sound you feel like you could get drunk on at this point. He lifts his head up off the pillow enough to tuck his right hand underneath it, then rests it back down. You wish there was a mirror on the ceiling so you could see the flex of his arm. “Coach has us do the rock climbing wall at the gym at least once a week for practice. He thinks it’s a good workout. Causes a hell of a lot of skin tear though.”
“That’s it? That’s the reason?”
“Mhm.”
You shake your head, “You should learn how to play the guitar, because that’s a lame reason to have calluses.”
He lifts his head up off the pillow again and brings the hand that was tucked under his nape to in front of his face and he just looks at it. You look at it too. “Why are you so obsessed with the state of my hands? 
“A girl can’t be curious?” you ask.
“They’re not that bad.” You wonder if you’ve made him self-conscious. 
You watch the way he flexes his fingers open and then closed. He turns it around, and you can see the veins trailing down from the valleys of his knuckles, disappearing into the fabric of his long sleeve. You remember that party, the two of you in that bathroom, when his hands were all over you, and it’s suddenly a little hard to breathe. He turns his hand again so the palm faces him, but now it’s also slightly turned towards you too.
“They’re bad here,” you say, pointing to his ring finger where you see slight peeling at the tip. The padded skin of your finger touches his skin. “A little bad here, too.” You point to his index finger, careless enough to allow all of your fingers to brush against his this time.
He watches you. “Your hands are really small,” he comments, like it was a marvel to him.
You look over at him briefly, and there’s not a single sign of tension in his face as he observes the image of your hand next to his hand in the air above him. He looked like he was at peace.
“Yours are just big,” you tell him. 
He knows he’s not supposed to, and you really shouldn’t have let him, but he interlocks his fingers with yours regardless, holding onto your hand. You feel the roughness of those calluses all across your soft skin. His thumb runs over the curve of your knuckle, almost in a soothing way, like he was trying to apologize to you for something. And this was the only way he knew how. 
Something sobers him up, because he suddenly pulls his fingers from yours and drops his hand to the duvet. Your hand lingers in the air for a few seconds before you do the same. And now you’re both awkwardly staring up at the ceiling again.
“Sorry,” he says, barely above a whisper.
“It’s okay,” you whisper too.
The silence settles for longer.
He sighs. “It’s not you, it’s me,” he says out of nowhere.
“Huh?” you turned your body a little to face him, and he was looking up at the ceiling as if there was something across the texture that he was trying to decipher.
“I don’t want you thinking that the reason I can’t-,” he pauses, to think carefully about his words, “...that the reason I can’t return your feelings is because of you, or anything you’ve done. It’s been a while since I’ve liked anyone to be honest, and I’m just really not looking to date right now.”
You’re hurt by his words. Because even if he didn’t want to date anyone, you thought that he would’ve at least tried to for you. You thought that he had at least some feelings that the two of you could’ve worked off of. “Why don’t you want to date anyone?”
“Reasons.”
“Obviously. What reasons?” you prod. When he doesn’t respond, you sigh. “If it’s something traumatic, I get it. My hamster died in the fourth grade,” you say, “I’ve never known peace since.”
He turns onto his side to face you with a soft and amused smile on his face. “Sorry to hear that. What was your hamster’s name?”
You try not to feel hot from the burn of his gaze and you turn onto your back to look up at the ceiling again. “Mr. Guilmon,” you say.
“Like…guilmon from digimon?
“Mhm.”
“You like digimon?”
“Oh yeah, I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid. My mom wanted to name my hamster ‘Scout’ but I refused,” you tell him, blinking a few times as the memories from your childhood come back to you. A small smile makes its way onto your face.
“I love digimon,” he says, fast, like he couldn’t contain it. 
“Really?” you give him a sidewards glance, a little surprised.
He hesitates slightly before sighing, turning over in the opposite direction to reach for his wallet on his nightstand. You feel the fabric of the duvet stretch across you from the movement, and you remember just how intimate this all felt. He’s laying on his back again, holding his wallet up in the air with both hands as he flips it open, then slides his credit card up out of the slot, and shows it to you. Digimon themed. You have to purse your lips together to hold back your laughter.
He turns his head to look at you when you can’t help but let a little noise escape your mouth, and you can see through the laughter-induced sheen of tears in your eyes that he’s frowning.
“Hey–”
“I’m sorry–” you're fully laughing at this point, hand over your mouth to try to contain yourself, “it’s just– oh my god— you’re the last person I would’ve expected to have been such a nerd.” 
“I’m not a nerd–” he tries to argue but you snatch the card out of his hand to study it closer, and also to memorize the numbers on the back.
“Popular soccer boy Gojo Satoru,” you’re giggling, “has a custom Digimon credit card.”
When he tries to reach for it, you stretch your arm off to the left. His weight leans on you, chest pressing against the curve of your shoulder, arm extending across you as he tries to grab his card back. “Quit it,” he mutters. 
“No,” you say, holding it further to your left, weakly trying to push him away from you.
“Quit it,” he repeats, face scowling now with what looks like embarrassment, and he holds his upper body up by the elbow, leaning over you even more to reclaim it, “or else.”
“Or else, what?” you say through wheezes, and it seems like something in him snaps because suddenly he grabs your wrist, hard, pinning it down onto the mattress, holding it there next to your head, and his entire upper body is towering over you. Shocked, you’re breathing fast, your eyes darting across his face, and he’s looking at you with a furrowed brow and a tense jaw.
“Or else I won’t keep my promise,” he says through a harsh breath, his voice low and rough.
You’re stunned underneath him. “What promise?” you ask, breathlessly. 
He leans down closer, to the point where the fringe of his hair brushes against your forehead. “My promise to hold myself back from you.”
You swallow hard, chest heaving. You feel the heat of his hand on your wrist burning through to your veins. You try to squirm slightly in his grip, but he just presses your wrist down further into the mattress.
He glances at your lips, eyes dilated and stern, and leans down even closer to you. “Do you have any idea how bad I’ve been wanting to punish you for leaving me in that bathroom by myself?” he says in a voice so husky you feel the arousal build at your center the second your head registers it.
You can’t find your words. He keeps his eyes locked on yours, as if to make sure yours stay on his too, and you’re docile under him until he’s distracted you enough to pinch his credit card between two of his fingers and discretely pull it out from your grip. He then lets go of your wrist and disappears out of your line of sight when he flops back down onto the mattress next to you, tucking his card back into his wallet.
“But I won’t. Because I’m a nice person, and will respect your space. Or whatever.” 
You don’t know what to say, your hand finding a place over your heart as you try to take deep breaths to calm yourself down.
“We should probably go to sleep,” he sighs after a minute, tossing his wallet back onto the nightstand and reaching over to turn off the light.
It’s dark now in the room, the only light coming from through the layered fabrics of the curtains. It's a cold light, possibly from the moon and maybe some dim neighboring white street lights, but it’s enough to where you could still see the slight texture of the ceiling, and maybe his face.
You both spend a few minutes trying to get comfortable. You try not to bump your butt against him, or brush your chest against his arm, but it happens a couple times anyway, and you mentally curse yourself for it. The rise of the duvet fabric from his chest becomes shallow with his breathing, and you think he’s fallen asleep, but then the two of you turn over at the exact same time, facing each other, eyes flying open and gazes meeting. It startles the both of you, but neither of you look away or say a word. The two of you just sit in the moment for what feels like hours, and very could’ve easily been. 
You’re the first to break the silence. “You know, there was a time where I thought that you weren’t even real.” You’re speaking hushed, like you’re afraid someone will hear, even though there’s only two souls in this room right now.
“What?” he asks, a slight raise to his eyebrow. “...why.”
“I don’t know. You’re like this urban legend around campus. You probably don’t know it, since you’re in it, but the world you’re in is very different from the world the rest of us students are in.”
He’s silent for a moment, his face being briefly illuminated by the reflection of a car’s headlights on the windows of the surrounding building. “I think I know what you mean.”
You blink at him. “I thought you would have a few more follow-up questions to that, but I guess you’re surprisingly self-aware.”
He hums to himself. “I think I can just put it into perspective.”
“Perspective?” you ask. You’re hanging onto every single one of his words tonight. You don’t want a single one of them slipping through you, not understood.
“Yeah,” he says, “there are moments where I feel like I’m not in that world anymore. And it feels nice. To get out of it.”
You want to ask him when those moments are, but he’s quick to speak again.
“I guess that means I’m aware of the moments where I am in it, so I know that it exists, if that makes sense? I don’t know.” He looks down at your pajamas, at the dancing sloth at the front, and the crease to his brow relaxes slightly. 
“Mhm, makes sense.”
His eyes are back on you, studying. There’s a strange look on his face that you can’t really comprehend. “I want to know about your world,” he says.
You breathe in deep, and exhale shallow. “My world is simple. I want to be a filmmaker and then live in a little cottage.”
He smiles at you. “A little cottage?”
“Yeah,” you say, “maybe in the countryside. The Italian countryside. With my own garden in the backyard so I can use fresh zucchini in my salads.”
“Any animals? Pets?” he asks, like he’s envisioning it all in his head too. 
“Maybe some chickens,” you say, “I promised Mr. Guilmon I’d name another one of my pets after him someday. I have to keep my promise.”
He nods. “You do.”
There’s another silence, but it doesn’t feel awkward this time.
“Did you turn your photos in to your professor?” he asks.
“Yeah, I did,” you tell him. “Earlier this week.”
“Nice. What about your reference for grad school?”
“I asked him for it.”
“Oh?” His eyebrows raise. “How’d it go?”
“Mm…I was really nervous, but it went well. He said he’d do it.”
There’s such a tenderness to his expression that you feel so compelled to kiss him right now. “That’s awesome. I’m proud of you. That’s one step closer to your dream.”
You purse your lips together from his words, sitting with the warm feeling in your chest. You want to thank him again, but instead all you say is “we’re even now.”
He lets out a small chuckle. It comes from his throat. “You’ve said that so many times.”
“I know.” Because you can’t believe it’s all over. This little arrangement between the two of you. You don’t want it to be over. “I can’t remember when the first time I said it was.”
“That night,” he answers you fast and with certainty, like it was at the forefront of his mind, “when you drove over rocks. And we sat together on the curb. And I realized how badly you take care of your car. You don’t need thousands of chain restaurant napkins in your glovebox, by the way. No matter how much you might think you do.”
“Wow. I was almost romanced by you for a second, but you ruined it,” you mumble.
You’re instantly taken back to that night. You remember the gentle quality in his eyes as he stared up at the stars, and you can still see the reflection of that sky in his eyes right now with the way he’s looking at you. 
“I really liked you that night,” you whisper, “I wish you were like that all the time.”
“Am I not like that all the time?” he asks, voice soft to match yours.
“No,” you say, “sometimes you’re mean.”
His eyes on you are gentle, somewhat careful. “I’m sorry for being mean.” 
You wonder if you can change his mind. If you can will him to like you back, if you can will him into wanting a relationship with you. You want to be his exception, not his rule.
“It’s okay. I’m mean sometimes, too,” you say, “mean to myself for sharing a bed with a guy that doesn’t like me.” He’s looking at your lips as you speak. “I’m bad like that.”
“You’re not bad,” is all he says.
“I am,” you say, and you inch closer to him, until there’s hardly any space between the two of you. You look up at him, faces inches away. You feel so safe with him, and yet you also feel scared, because you like him so much that you would let him ruin you if he wanted to. You press a flat palm to his shirt, searching for his heart, and you find that it’s beating fast in his chest. “I’m a bad woman, Satoru.”
“y/n,” he says, like a warning.
“I mean it,” you whisper.
“You said you’d kill me if I touch you,” he reminds you, sounding a little breathless.
“I can’t kill you, you’re way stronger than me,” you whisper, “so touch me.” Your hand is gripping onto the fabric of his shirt now, tight, with desire. He’s looking at you with a whole lot of desire too, but there was something else there as well. “Please.”
He wraps his hand around your wrist–the heat of his touch that you so badly wanted, craved, finally on you–but it’s to pull you away from him. Your grasp on his shirt releases and he brings your hand to the front of your chest, laying it down gently before letting it go. Your wrist lays limp there, missing his touch. Limp in front of your beating heart.
“Let’s just go to sleep, okay?” he says softly. 
Your eyes widen when you look at him, and you couldn’t even hide the hurt that settled across your face if you tried. Gaze dropping to his chest, you see the way it was rising with every breath he took, and for the second time in this life, you’ve felt so utterly rejected by him. You give him a compliant nod, and scootch back away from him before turning away. He stays as he is, watching your back, and you can feel his gaze on the nape of your neck. 
Counting the minutes to fall asleep felt exhausting, but the last thing you remember before you closed your eyes was the feeling of a tear trickling down onto your pillow, wet and cold against your cheek.
You wake up the next morning to an empty bed, and an even emptier feeling heart. There’s also this weird feeling of disappointment within you, and you don’t really know why.
Grabbing your phone on the nightstand, you quickly search for the email with the men’s soccer team practice schedule, and you see that they had a sharp 8am practice this morning before the game in the afternoon. The time reads 6:37am, and you’re wondering where Gojo went so early in the morning before heading off to the practice field.
You went back to sleep for a couple hours, and then woke up again. By the time you took a shower, got dressed, and went downstairs to the hotel lobby to eat breakfast, it was already 10:00am and it was time to make it to the field so you could set up and calibrate your camera prior to taking photos for the match. Following Utahime’s gameday instructions, you took a cab to the location with all of your gear.
The Kyoto soccer stadium was less of a stadium and more of an extremely large and open expanse of grass that had enormous silver metal stands stretching across the perimeter. It was something you would expect of an area in the countryside, but security was still somehow tight across the fenced off area. 
It was still a couple hours before the game, so the field was bustling with pre-game set-ups and the stands were empty. There were a few sports canopies being put up, as well as a small truck with workers that were working to stock up the hydration stations. A few men in suits were seated at tables with notepads and clipboards, looking busy in conversation and on what sounded like business calls. As you walk down the sidelines, you notice a few other people checking the distances between the goals and the chalk markings across the field. The stands were extremely close to all of the action, and when you look to the right, you see a couple of familiar faces there.
“Ah, y/n! We’re over here.”
You approach the group of three people, all seated on the lowest metal bench of one of the spectator sections. There were a bunch of tripods, cameras, cases, and laptops sprawled across in front of them. You recognize Hana and Minato, but you don’t recognize the other man sitting with them. You had met Hana and Minato at the game against Osaka last week, they were both professional photographers for the newsletter.
Hana hops off the bench and comes up to you. “It’s seriously so cool you’re here with us and that Utahime got you this gig,” she says to you with a smile. “Make sure your schedule is free on nights after matches, all us photographers usually get dinner together afterwards. You’re the baby out of us, so we’ll pay for you.”
You return her smile with one of your own. “That’s sweet, and sure I’ll try to.” 
You glance at the man whose name you didn’t know, your gaze meeting his, and soon enough he’s jumping up onto his feet too and making his way over to you.
“Ah, this is Kaito. Kai for short,” Hana says, gesturing to the man, and then to you.
Kai extends his hand out for you to shake. He’s tall and a bit lean. His style is really boyish—totally nailing the street photographer outfit with the white shirt underneath a flannel one, and some Carhartt pants paired with some Vans. You reach out to shake his hand, and he holds onto it for a second longer than you would’ve expected.
“Hi,” you greet him and tell him your name.
“That’s a nice name,” he says with a smile.
Hana claps her hands together. “Okay! We all know each other now, that’s great. We should get started prepping before the players get here, I believe they’re scheduled to be here in an hour.” She walks over to the benches and picks up her digital camera. Minato grabs his as well as his tripod, then walks over to Hana’s side. “The way we usually do it is to split the field into corners, and each of us works that perimeter. The videographers are here too, so just make sure you don’t accidentally knock over or stand in front of one of their cameras.”
All three of you nod at her and you unzip your case to take your film camera out. Kai is next to you, looking at the device in your hands curiously.
“Kai, you can work with y/n for today since it’s her first day. Split up those two corners over there,” Hana says, pointing to the other end of the field. You and Kai look in that direction. “Minato and I will take the other short end.”
With a few more discussions and detailed instructions, the four of you disperse to your assigned locations. You’re a step ahead of Kai, although he should really be the one leading your stride since you’re the new one here, but he soon enough catches up to you.
“Is that a Canon AE-1?” he asks you, pointing to your camera.
You look at him a little surprised. “Yeah, it is. As vintage as they get.”
“Sweet, I used to shoot on film too. Second-hand?” 
“No, third. Still cost me an arm and a leg, though,” you sigh.
He laughs. “They’re not that expensive.”
“I’m a broke college student. I sometimes have to choose between paying rent and eating food,” you say to him.
He kicks at a random can on the grass, sending it flying forward, instead of picking it up. “Yeah, definitely don’t miss those days.”
“When did you graduate?” you ask.
“From UTokyo two years ago,” he says. 
You bend over to pick up the can he kicked and jog a little to the trashcan nearby, tossing it in, then jog back to him. “That’s nice. You’ve been doing this for two years?”
“Yup,” he says to you as the two of you reach the corner of the field outlined by freshly drawn chalk. He kneels down on the grass, sets his camera case down, and opens it up. Your jaw drops.
“Is that a—Leica camera?” you ask him, shocked.
He smirks up at you. “Sure is.”
“Oh, so you’re just rich, then,” you sit down on the grass to look at it with interest, marveling at its condition.
“Nope. I’ll bet I got it for cheaper than your Canon there,” he points to the camera hung at your neck.
You meet his gaze. “No way.”
“Way,” he says, pulling out the attachable lens before wiping at it with a microfiber cloth, “I know a guy. He sells used cameras. The only issue is you’ve gotta refurbish them yourself.” 
You sigh. “Wonderful. Because I would know how to do that.”
He lets out a half-laugh, and you glance up briefly to look at his expression. He was amused. “It’s pretty easy, just gotta do it once. And then you’ll have a used Leica that works brand-new, all for just under a hundred-thousand yen.”
You’re looking at him with surprise again. “That cheap?”
“Yup.”
“Wow…” Your finger plays with the lens cap on your camera.
“If you want, I can send you his info. But if you want to meet up with him, it’ll probably have to be facilitated through me,” Kai says, “He takes clients by recommendation. No use in selling a used camera to an idiot that doesn’t know how to refurbish it. He’s looking for niche photographers that have the interest.”
You press your lips together, considering it. “Sure.”
He hands his phone to you. “Alright, gimme your number.”
You hesitate for a second before typing your number into his contacts then hand it back and watch as he saves it in his phone. “Canon girl. Won’t forget ya.”
The two of you make work for a second, eyeing the field and mapping out angles of where to get the best shots during play. Kai gives you some pointers and you’re marveling at how good they are.
“Not really used to shooting on film anymore,” he mumbles, peering through the hole on your camera when you handed it over to him, “but usually a one over five-hundred shutter speed works well for sports. I’d switch between that and over two-fifty though, to avoid a blurry finish.”
“Thanks,” you say to him, wanting to write all this down to not forget it. “Wish I knew this last week.”
“Why shoot on film?” he asks out of nowhere, handing your camera back to you. “Why not digital?”
“Oh, it’s a personal interest,” you say to him, adjusting your shutter speed as he suggested, “I think there’s a charm to it. I want to be a movie maker, and shoot on film medium.”
He frowns at you. “How are you going to do that?”
You tilt your head at him, shuffling on the grass. “I’m going to apply to the film graduate program at UTokyo to start.”
He laughs at that from where he’s seated across from you. “Really? That’s a waste of your time.”
Your heart sinks a little in your chest from his tone. “Why would it be a waste of my time?”
He turns to face you more directly. “y/n, trust me, I know this career path. Been there, done that. Millions of film majors like yourself always have these big-ass dreams like ‘I want to become a director, I want to do screenplay’ etc., but only one or two of them actually succeed.” 
Your shoulders sulk. It’s not the first time you’ve heard those words from someone—your own parents practically recited them word-for-word before you headed off to college—but you had been doing really well all of senior year to ignore that nagging little voice in your head. It was honestly quite triggering to hear it all again right now. “Well, I think I can do it.”
He lets out a short scoff. “You sound real convincing there.” When he catches sight of your upset expression, he straightens his back a little. “My bad. Just trying to look out for you. I’m your senior in this industry. I know my way around these things. Trust me.”
You nod slowly. “I know. Thanks.” Part of you wonders if he’s just projecting.
“Well anyway,” he shrugs, “I think you should just focus on photography for now. It’s the safest career option for you to do.”
“I guess you’re right,” you say, wanting to diffuse the conversation.
The two of you disperse to your assigned corners once the stands start to fill with spectators. Shortly after, the players make their introductions onto the field, and you can see Gojo across the field. He’s too far to read his expression, but for some reason when you look at him, that disappointed feeling from this morning comes back to you. You try to push it down and just focus on your task at hand.
UTokyo does well during the match, and Gojo seems to be playing much better than the Osaka game last week, scoring two goals within the first half. There were a couple of times where there were throw-ins near your corner, and you made eye contact with him as he’s breathing heavily, wiping the sweat off his face with his jersey, and every time you look at him, that melancholic feeling washes over you again. UTokyo wins 3-2, the crowd evidently disappointed as they were rooting for their home team, and by the time the disgruntled fans started to clear the stands, the sun was setting over the horizon and the sky was a golden color.
The referees on the field begin to oversee the post-match proceedings with the players. Kai comes around to meet you at your corner, and Hana and Minato arrive there too.
“Hey team! How’d it go?” Hana asks, a little out of breath from her journey over here.
“Went fine,” Kai responds.
“It was a little tricky,” you comment, “but I think my photos came out well.”
Hana nods. “Alright, sounds good. Are we still on for dinner tonight?”
Kai and Minato nod, and then all three sets of eyes are on you. You hesitate for a moment, and look off past them to where you see the group of soccer players in conversations with the coaches and referees. You see Gojo standing there, his hands on his hips as he peered across the field, tilting his neck to the side repeatedly, and you realize he had been doing that all match long. That unsettling feeling within you starts to brew once again. “Uh, I’m really sorry, but I’m not feeling very well. I think I might just head back to the hotel.”
Hana and Minato nod at you with a concerned expression, while Kai just looks disappointed.
“Okay, well, I hope you feel better,” she says.
You end up taking an Uber back to the hotel in haste, not wanting to run into Gojo or any of the other soccer players after their match, and make it to the room, using the key card that Gojo gave you to get inside. You take a shower to freshen up, and by the time it’s 7pm, you’re starving. You put on a simple outfit and make it downstairs into the lobby of the hotel, about to go peruse the nearby dining options, but right when you step out of the elevator, you run into Gojo.
There’s a look of pleasant surprise on his face and you take in his appearance. He was still wearing his soccer jersey, covered in grass and dirt stains, and his face was slightly flushed from exertion. You figured he just came back from the field.
“Hey,” he says, “sorry, I was just about to head over there.” He jerks his head off towards the lobby, and you glance in that direction. There was a group of maybe thirty people gathered around the lounging areas and high-tables over at the business suite, and you recognize them as UTokyo’s soccer players, along with Coach Yaga and other team staff. The players were still all clad in their uniforms, carrying all their stuff, and there were plays of today’s game rerunning across the TV screens. You realize they’re probably prepping for interview questions for tomorrow’s conference.
“Oh, please, go ahead,” you say to him.
He tilts his head at you. “Are you doing alright?” 
You were aware that things might feel awkward after last night, and that your cheeks would probably feel hot like they do now the next time you had to talk to him. Your mind takes you back to the memories, when you think about how badly you wanted him to stay with you in the room because of that hollow feeling in your chest from missing him, despite how you knew it was bad for you. Because this man standing in front of you doesn’t like you in the way that you like him. 
And then it clicks. The reason for that feeling of disappointment you’ve had since the moment you woke up today.
When you glance up at Gojo this time, you see him differently than you had from a second ago. You finally notice the slight dark circles under his eyes, and figure out that the reason he’s been tilting his neck to the side all day was because he was trying to stretch out a kink. You vaguely recall that moment you woke up in the middle of the night, and your sleepy brain registered that there was no longer the dip of him in the mattress next to you.
“When did you leave the room?” you ask him. You know your voice is quiet when he has to lean down a bit to hear you.
He takes his time answering, indulging in a few breaths. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” you say, starting to sound hostile, “you left during the night, didn’t you?”
He doesn’t deny it.
“You left once I fell asleep,” you say, eyes widening with realization.
He sighs. “Yes.”
“Where did you go to sleep?” you ask, trying to keep your tone level.
“Suguru’s room had an extra couch. I pushed them together.”
You felt sick and sad, feeling something worse than rejection right now. There was a part of you that still thought that all of this from him was just a joke. A prank. That he was finally going to say just kidding, I like you too. The reason you’ve been so disappointed since the minute you woke up today was because there was a part of you that thought you were going to wake up this morning with his arms wrapped around you, back pressed tight to his chest while he whispers sweet nothings in your ear of how much he likes you, of how much he wants you, of how much he wants to be with you.
“Why? Even after I said I didn’t want you to have bad sleep?” Your voice was laced with hurt. You didn’t even know how to explain to him why it upset you, because deep down you’re scared it isn’t even valid.
“It’s fine,” he says, “I played fine today. And we won.”
“You could’ve stayed. Do you really hate me that much?” Your words are shooting to kill now. “So I’m good enough to finger in a bathroom at a frat party, but not good enough to sleep next to?”
He furrows his brow. “I don’t understand why we’re arguing about this,” he says, tone starting to match yours, “you’re the one that wanted space. I was just trying to respect that.”
“If you really wanted to respect my space, you wouldn’t have agreed to share the bed with me in the first place.”
“y/n,” he says, “that’s not fair.”
“You should’ve known better.” You’re breathing fast, tone searingly accusive. “You know that I’m trying to get over you, and that I’m vulnerable, and that I’m probably confused about a lot of things right now.”
“I ask if we could at least be friends, you say no because it’d be some recipe for disaster, then you practically beg me to stay with you and tell me to touch you while we’re laying down together. You don’t think that’s confusing for me too?” he counters.
Your cheeks flush with embarrassment at the memory of your desperate actions last night, and he instantly looks apologetic. You feel like you’re being unfair, but you feel like he’s being unfair too.
“I’m the one with feelings,” is all you say in your defense.
He swipes at his chin roughly with the back of his hand, smudging the dirt up to his cheek, and then closes his eyes for a second, like the weight of today has finally hit him all at once. He looks exhausted. “Right,” he says, softly, “I’m sorry.”
“Yo, Satoru!” one of his teammates yells from the center of the lobby. “Coach needs you, man.”
He rubs a hand down his tired face then throws a haphazard glance over his shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec,” he calls out and then looks back at you. You can’t make eye contact with him, and just stare at the print on his jersey instead. “I’ll sleep in Suguru’s again tonight. The room is yours.”
There’s a lump in your throat and you feel like you’re about to cry. “Okay.”
He reaches into his shorts pocket and gives you a room card. “Here’s the spare. I don’t need to come grab my stuff for the night, so don’t worry.”
“Okay.”
He sounds like he wants to say more, and you see him take a small step towards you, hand reaching out for you, but this time Coach Yaga’s stern voice is calling out to him too. He sighs. “Good night.”
“Mhm. Thanks.”
He hesitates before he turns on his heel and you watch his back, with that signature #10 stretched across the fabric of his uniforn, as he jogs through the hotel lobby to his teammates.
The walk back to the hotel room is depressing, and you find yourself dragging your feet all the way there. Once you make your way inside, you look around at the room and see some of Gojo’s belongings scattered around, but it didn’t seem like there were any of his essentials. You look down at the spare key card in your hand–a promise from him that he won’t try to upset you anymore tonight–and that lump in your throat from earlier comes back. 
You hated fighting with him. You hated being away from him. Those feelings that you thought would go away just as fast as they came still sat so stubbornly within your heart, and it was becoming impossible to bear. 
You wonder if meeting him was all just some horrible, twisted mistake. 
Before you have time to dwell on that sad sentiment, your phone screen lights up with a message.
|| 7:52pm unknown number: kinda sucks you’re not here with us. was looking forward to showing you more of my camera
|| 7:53pm unknown number: this is kai by the way
The features of your face feel heavy as you look down at your phone screen. You don’t even notice your eyes are teary until you realize the blur of your vision makes it hard to see the letters as you type out a response.
You just wanted a distraction from all this pain.
|| 7:54pm you: can you send me the address? i wanna be there
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a/n. grrrr i love a one-bed trope so much grrrrrrrrr it's gonna do it for me every damn time lol. thanks a bunch for reading!! there's still so much that i've got planned for the series haha i think the second half is gonna be a lot crazier than the first. super excited to write it though. by the way! i'm starting a choso x reader zombie au series, if you'd like to read more about it and/or be added to the taglist, you can reply to this post here also if you want to be added to taglist in general, i'd recommend making sure your tags are on!! since i've noticed a lot of people have them off
➸ take me to chapter nine!
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taglist: @who-can-touch-my-boob @therealestpussyeater @lost-resonance @hojoslutoru @foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @bsdicinindirdim @tsukikourito @getitsatoru @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @btszn @prince-wyiilder @semra4 @gojosimp26 @drthymby @ninitoru @bbyxxm @fvsm4x @sadmonke @zoinks1010 @bakuhoethotski @horisdope @sykostyles @aquaberrydolphin @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @ri-sa20 @purplehallow11 @mwtsxri @ritsatoru @bxddiebloss @chwesuh-imnida @mo0nforme @viware @still-fking-single @megumisthirdog @gintokhi @karvokr @cierocanteat @imjustaweirdnerd (hope i didn't miss anyone thank u all sm!!)
1K notes · View notes
chaepink · 7 months
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DAY 12: OPEN YOUR MOUTH, PRETTY BOY | FINGER SUCKING & FOOT HUMPING
who knew that the nerd in your english class would be a virgin and that they would be so fun to corrupt?
⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ PAIRING ⸻ zenistsu agatsuma x reader
⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ WARNINGS ⸻ dom!fem!reader (but def could be read as gn), mean!reader, nerd!zenistsu, corruption kink, degradation, finger sucking, throat fucking-ish, oral fixation, college au, foot humping/grinding, porn WITH some plot, overall cringe writing my bad guys 😭 not really proofread
⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ WORDS ⸻ 1.7k words
⋆ ࣪. ❤︎ NOTE ⸻ beginning sucks but it gets better at the end i swear anyways its day 12 of kinktober! hows everyone feeling
KINKTOBER EVENT
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You've seen the stares he's been giving you and they're not subtle at all. Rather it seems as if he wants you to find out that he's been looking at you from the way its so obvious.
With his collared shirt so neat and ironed straight, supplies on his desk organized by size and color, and just the way he's sitting so straight and ready to learn has you rolling your eyes.
The aura that just screams 'nerd' adorning him tells you exactly the type of person he is too.
You've seen him around campus a few times, usually at club meetings or in the library studying his ass off.
You catch him looking at you again during a class you two have, making you grimace as you whisper to your friends.
"Who's he?" You nod your head to him with furrowed eyes. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him look away from you, blushing.
"Oh him?" Your friends make a show of turning around to get a good look at him before turning around to you, to which you have to hold in a sarcastic remark about subtlety. "He's such a fucking freak isn't he?" Your friends giggle.
"Heard he's a virgin too, what a fucking loser." You raise an eyebrow. Now you didn't know that. "He is? Where did you hear that?" Your friend gives you an unimpressed look as if the answer is obvious.
"Look at him, who would want to fuck him? He's probably such a pervert too."
You turn your head around slightly to glance at him and notice him quickly looking away from you, his face turning red from being caught.
The bell suddenly rings and you tell your friends to not wait for you as you make your way to a certain yellow-haired guy. You add a little sway to your hips, pretending to not notice the small peeks he's taking at you or the way his face is turning redder the closer you get to him. You walk to him still taking down notes and place your hands in front of him, catching him off guard.
You hold back from rolling your eyes when you see him not so subtly glance at your body and how your clothes tightly hug your curves. He gulps when you let out a loud cough.
"Hey, name's..." You quickly glance at the name on the folder and return to his gaze with raised eyebrows. "Zenistsu, right?"
Slowly, he nods. You lean slightly towards him, shortening the gap between you two with a smile. "I heard you have good grades, is that right?"
You notice him swallow and play with his tie nervously.
"Y-Yeah, why?"
"I was wondering if you could tutor me on some subjects? I could really use the help since I've been having trouble with some work recently."
You notice his breath hitch. "Please?"
"Um s-sure. Should we do it in the library after school?"
Without answering, you steal his pencil to write your dorm number on one of his papers. "How about you just head to my room later? I don't have a roommate anyways."
He stares at the number with widened eyes but he hesitantly nods.
Now you just have to wait.
--
Hours later you're laying on your coach. The sound of pencil on paper and typing is in the background as you continue scrolling. Zenistsu turns around in your chair with furrowed eyebrows.
"S-Shouldn't I be teaching you how to do this-"
You scoff and send a glare towards him. "Shut up and just do the work. It's easy for you anyways, right?"
He nods and returns back to finishing your homework. He mentally slaps himself for being so stupid for thinking that something would happen when you asked him to come to your dorm. He quickly finishes the rest of the work before turning to you. You glance up from your phone.
"What? You're already done?" He nods. "Then leave."
You see Zenistsu freeze and raise a eyebrow. "What, do you want something in return?"
He shakes his head. "I-I just thought we were gonna…" He suddenly stops talking, realizing what he was going to say but you already know what the next words are gonna be, and giggle.
"Did you think we were gonna do something afterward?" He looks away in shame but nods. You sit on the edge of the sofa, now interested. "You thought we were gonna fuck or something as a reward for you doing my homework?"
Your blunt words make Zenistsu blush and he's quick to shake his head. "N-No I-I just..." You notice a bulge in his pants and laugh.
"Oh my god don't tell me you're actually hard right now." He quickly tries to cover his bulge there's no use, you already saw it.
He's so embarrassed that he could cry. First he thought you invited him over to hang out and now he's hard in front of you.
"Honestly," you say, dragging out the word to tease him.
"If you're really that desperate, go ahead and hump my foot then." He watches you place your foot out with a teasing grin and it only takes him a couple of seconds to think about it. With shaky steps, he walks towards you before sitting on his knees before you.
"Go on."
He gives your foot a experimental grind and he has to bite down on his tongue to hold back a moan. Though a voice in his head screams at him to take it slow and save him some embarrassment, he quickly gets addicted to the feeling and quickens his pace against you. Soon, he's panting heavily against your leg and you watch with amusement.
"How about you say thank you to me for letting you hump my foot, hm? Say thank you for letting me hump my dirty cock against your foot, [name]."
He flushes red with embarrassment but frantically nods. Thank you's begin flowing out of his mouth with your name added along with it.
"Thank you for l-letting me ah! hump my d-dirty cock against your foot, [name]!"
If anything, Zenistsu only speeds up his movements even more. He wouldn't ever think that the way you're so mean to him would turn him on or that he would actually enjoy but here he is: grinding against your foot like a bitch in heat as his sinful noises fill the room. Anyone could walk past your dorm and hear just how loud he's being but other more important thoughts fill his head, like the sudden need to cum.
"Fucking freak."
"s-shit fuck me!" You laugh, making him whine. "Oh you wish. A shoe hump is all you're gonna get from me. Though I bet you do want to fuck me, hm?" You tease, watching the way he shivers. The thought has his eyes rolling back. Just imagining being able to fuck you has his mind turning cloudy, his thoughts scrambling up.
His mouth drops open with a girlish scream when his orgasm hits him and it hits him hard. Your eyes stare at his mouth and the way drool escapes from the side. The growing wet patch on his underwear steals your attention and you watch as some leaks through the material, dripping onto the floor beneath him.
"You're so pathetic, Zenistsu."
Your fingers drop to the hem of his underwear before entering them, feeling the sticky mess where his dick is. You take your time scooping some on your fingers before taking them out, watching as the liquid drips down your fingers slowly and coats them.
You let out a disappointed tsk. "Look at the mess you made."
Zenistsu watches your every move and his heart begins to race when you look at him with something in your eyes that makes his breath hitch. He sees your eyes drop down to his mouth and he subconsciously licks his lips.
You grin at him. "Open your mouth, pretty boy." You say, moving the soiled fingers closer to his face.
Almost with no hesitation, you watch as he slowly opens his mouth, his tongue sticking out like a invitation for your fingers to enter. Hot breath fans them as they move closer to him.
The whine he lets out tells you exactly what he wants. He looks at you, awaiting your next move. He glances at your fingers with something in his eyes, almost like excitement.
When two of your fingers touch his tongue, his warm mouth immediately envelops them as he wraps his tongue around your digits. He shivers from both the taste of himself on his tongue and from the feeling of your fingers in his mouth, letting out a small whine.
You don't let him get used to the feeling as you begin to push them further in his mouth, making him let out a surprised moan.
You feel your fingers hit the back of his throat, making Zenistsu gag around him. Tears appear at the corner of his eyes and you coo at him.
"Are you gonna cry, Zenistsu? Is the feeling of my fingers down your throat too much?" He gulps at your words but shakes his head.
He begins bobbing his head with your fingers, letting out a noise each time they hit the back of his throat. You feel his tongue suck on them.
The sight is so lewd that it leaves you breathless. His drool drips down your hand and his eyes roll back as he chokes on your fingers. He has a hand on your wrist but he makes no move to stop you. Instead, he pushes your fingers in more with a choked moan. He stares up at you with hooded eyes.
You shove another finger in his mouth and Zenistsu is quick to cover it in his spit.
"Shit, I wonder what everyone would think if they heard how much of a whore you actually are."
Zenistsu can only shake his head in denial, tears welling up even more. He tries to answer back but it comes out all muffled.
"Can't understand what you're saying if you got my fingers in your mouth, baby."
He whimpers around your fingers. You don't notice him beginning to grind against your foot again and he comes with a cry, dirtying his pants yet again.
You take your fingers out of his mouth and he falls against your legs, breath heavy and eyes closed. But you grab his hair and yank him back, staring straight into his eyes.
"Oh we're far from done, Zenistsu. I'm going to use you till you can't think anymore."
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wlntrsldler · 2 months
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college! fratboy!luke situationship
mdni; this is for my fellow ksig!luke truther @starswillow
the idea of staying on campus for the summer almost made you want to reject the research position you were offered by one of the labs in your department, but the stipend, free housing and meals were too good to turn down. you didn’t necessarily want to go back to the middle of nowhere indiana to live with your parents for three months, which was the only other option you had, so you stayed while all your friends said their goodbyes and went off to start their summer travels or internships in big cities. 
you had a plan– you were going to go to lab, go eat, and head straight home. you were going to use the summer to recharge from the stress of your first year in college. you didn’t plan to run into luke castellan, who was re-taking a class in the lab next to yours because he fucked up his final experiment so bad, even the professor couldn’t figure out what he managed to do. and you definitely didn’t plan to fall into a situationship with the newly pledged ksig brother, but here you were. 
it started out innocently enough. his class ended the same time you took your lunch hour and he’d see you walking out with the rest of the future college drop-outs like him to the dining hall. luke had never seen you around before, after all the school was huge and it seemed like you’d be in classes that he was too dumb to even attempt. for fuck’s sake, he failed chem 101 and you were working in the lab of one of the most respected, tenured professors on campus. it wasn’t fully his fault, at least that’s what he told himself. he’d been sheltered away at a k-12 school in the middle of montauk for all his life and college was his first taste of independence. maybe he went a little overboard sometimes with a party every weekend, joining a fraternity, and serial dating so much that he virtually had no time to do his assignments. 
around day four of running into you, luke decided to approach you. his opening line was a simple, hey, were you in my stats class last semester? again, he knew you weren’t in his class, but he needed an opening to talk to you. you turned around, blinking up at him in confusion because you didn’t take a single math class last year, and shook your head. he shrugged and introduced himself anyway. 
it became a routine after that. if you got out on your lunch break before he did, you’d wait by the benches next to his lab. if he got dismissed from class before you, he would lean against the outside wall of your lab and play mindless games on his phone until you emerged. lunch hours turned into dinner requests to late-night study sessions when you found out he was struggling with chem. (his assumptions were right– you were too smart for him. you’d skipped the first two introductory chem classes because the placement test all freshmen took showed that you were way ahead of the curve.)
steadily, luke’s grades got better, mostly because of you, the two of you spent more time together than apart, and your original plan of using the summer recharging was turned on its head.
it began as the typical college fling. putting hundreds of hormonal teenagers in a confined space was a recipe for disaster. your summer consisted of fooling around with luke in the quiet of your dorm, the backseat of his car, and on occasion, the bathrooms in the chem building when one of you was feeling needy during the day. you’d heard your friends' stories of their hook-up culture experiences and you’d been sexiled by your roommate one too many times for your liking, but you never saw the appeal of it back then. but luke sauntered into your room for the first time when you invited him, with thoughts of things other than understanding covalent bonds in his mind. 
you weren’t blind. you knew there were attractive people on your campus, but you’d never felt physically attracted to any of them, until luke castellan, backpack slung across one shoulder, with a backwards boston red sox cap on, gray sweatpants, and black compression shirt on. the silver chain he always wore around his neck wasn’t tucked under his shirt like usual and the diy beaded bracelet he had on his wrist was a perfect contrast to his tanned, veiny hands-- and you knew you were fucked. 
luke fucked you on the uncomfortable university, twin-xl mattress, drinking in the pretty sounds you were making while his cock deliciously pistoned inside of you. all his notes and books were long forgotten on the floor of your dorm while his hips snapped against yours, teeth nipping at the skin of your collarbone while he groaned the filthiest things in your ear that had you blushing and tightening around his cock. my brilliant girl, but so dumb around my cock. you like that, baby? you take me so well, my best girl. 
and all you could manage to do was babble out incoherent sentences that usually ended with you panting out his name, the only thing you’d remember through the fog in your mind. luke. luke. luke. 
he loved it. he loved hearing his name leave your lips, all raw and hoarse, like how he knew his back would look with all the scratches you clawed into his skin. he’d pull out, against his primal urge to plant his cum so deep inside you, and finish on your sternum. then, he’d take his two fingers, scoop up his cum, and watch your greedy tongue suck around his digits with your big, fucked-out, eyes staring at him as if you worshipped him. luke wasn’t selfish either, in fact he was giving, which came as a shock to you. 
he’d spent hours lapping at your aching pussy, eating you out until you were pulling him off with a whine from multiple orgasms, or until his dick was standing at attention again because he couldn’t imagine a hotter thing to watch besides seeing your face contort in absolute pleasure because of him. 
the pillow talk and after-care were amazing too. he wouldn’t leave immediately after your long nights together. sometimes, he’d stay in your dorm even when you left to go to the lab for the day. when you came back, your room was pristine. luke would make your bed and clean up the sticky residues from the night before, just to mess it up again a few hours later.
he never shared with you was that he was in a frat that was notorious for having situationships that never amounted to anything but that. so imagine your surprise when you decided to give into your friends’ insistence and attended the first party of the school year at the ksig house and found luke castellan at the dj booth with his ksig shirt on, surrounded by pretty girls with red cups in their hands. he had his arm thrown over the shoulder of another boy, chris rodriguez, as he screamed out the lyrics to love me by lil wayne. 
when luke's eyes spotted yours in the crowd, his face broke out into a mischievous smile as he raced down the stage to grab your hand. he led you upstairs to his bedroom, deadbolting the door, and fucked you like it was summer again.
it wasn't bad for your first situationship.
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14dayswithyou · 4 months
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💖 Slight 14DWY + Blog Changes! 💖
(16/12/23)
Leon will now move away from Corland Bay when he’s 10 years old. Originally, I never really put that much thought into it because it won't be explicitly mentioned in the game, but I figured I might as well make it more accurate now ^^;
Teo is now 26 (instead of 27). Again, zero thought went into this aside from wanting a wider range of ages for the cast — but now I want him to be closer to Jae and Violet’s age — especially considering they were all childhood friends and Violet was in the grade below them.
Elanor is now 30 and Kiara is 29. In the 2017 version, Elanor was originally the eldest sister, but it just didn't feel right to change it in the 2020 version. Day 3 will still be lore accurate, but everything on this blog will need to be retconned.
14DWY Purple (unofficial) will now be changing from #A14BF4 to #9D64FD.
Not a change, but adding more clarification: Angel will still attend university (and Jae and Teo will still be their university friend), but whether or not they enrolled will remain ambiguous! Day 1/2 kinda insinuates that they studied something ("Teo attended some of their classes"), but I wanted it to imply that they could've attended orientation and/or took "mock classes" after high school to see what it's like as well. I may change a few lines in the demo (in the future) to reflect that.
Egg
I'd like to (hopefully) try to remind everyone that whenever I write about Angel on this blog, they are gender neutral. Because if my ass had a dollar for every time someone assumed they were female because of the cutesy/pink themes or how "soft" I made the MC, I'd have enough money to fund voice actors, translators, custom soundtrack, and pay the $100 Steam fee /hj
Changed the crackpot theory tag into an actual tag!! About time sdghjdg
(07/01/24)
Also not a change, but to solidify Haruko's appearance + Ren's likeness a bit more... Haruko is supposed to be an anime character with pink/blue hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. He's a modern day "sorcerer" (a reference to JJK, not a literal fantasy wizard lmao) from an anime called "Attack on Giants" (another reference to "Attack on Titan"); and is very kind, ditzy, and empathetic. All Ren has copied is his hairstyle, vibe, and demeanour. Ren isn't outright cosplaying Haruko, and it'd take an avid anime enjoyer to notice that Ren is attempting to mimic Haruko.
I'll make a poll one day, but I might change Ren's left sleeve tattoo to the spoiler-free placeholder I used in this artwork. A lot of people seem to prefer it, but I'll wait until the poll to make any final decisions.
I might also make another poll to see if perhaps a new BGM theme would better suit the demo. Because in my mind, the "summer/beach location" = acoustic guitar (rather than piano) — and for some reason I get lo-fi vibes from 14DWY??
I don't think anyone has picked up on this subtle shift yet, but Ren will mainly use "he/him" over "he/they" now (since Haruko is a he/him enjoyer 👍). [REDACTED], however, will still greatly prefer "they/he", and will continue to use them interchangeably.
21/02/24 — or search through Obsidian. (Future Sai here.... I have no clue what this means???? What??? T_T)
I'm gonna cut down on the Teo and Ren bullying on this blog (and in general). I don't find it fun anymore, and it genuinely upsets me when people put down certain characters to make others look better (i.e. "Ren has no ass which makes Leon superior >:)" Just say you like Leon... I beg T_T). It also makes me doubt whether Ren is genuinely a good character or not, and it's gross seeing y'all tear down people who genuinely enjoy Teo. Be kind.
(11/01/24)
Eventually, I'd like to turn this meme into an event in the 14DWY Discord to help create an actual landlord for Day 3. The current landlord has always been a meme-y placeholder (I thought the idea would be funny), but looking at how the game is currently, I want 14DWY to be more "serious". The current landlord will eventually be turned into an easter egg!!
Whether or not Jae had bottom surgery will now remain ambiguous. Everyone is now free to headcanon whatever they'd like, so long as it's not offensive or too OOC.
From now on, I'll also try my best to remind everyone that Jae is gay and Kiara is lesbian. I tried not to bring it up frequently because I was afraid it'd come across like "being gay" was their only defining personality trait, but I'm tired of people sending in asks that don't apply to these characters ^^;
I might move all of the curiouscat questions to this blog and archive the account. It's becoming too much of a hassle for me to manage 3+ social media accounts sgkshjj
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halfagone · 7 months
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Is it Canon or Fanon?
A little over a week ago, I received a very thought-provoking ask that wondered whether the Fenton parents could be considered good parents after everything they've done throughout the show. I did leave a response to that ask, and you can find the original answer here. But even afterwards, it had me thinking:
Why did we start depicting Jack and Maddie as Bad Parents to begin with?
I aim to answer this question through canon evidence to see where this argument might have come from. Now, something to keep in mind is that we still tend to ignore canon a lot of the time, so there may be some people who won't take this meta to mean all that much anyways. But for the purpose of fanfiction, we have to acknowledge that there needs to be an in-universe explanation to these events and sadly, the 'it's a Butch Hartman show' or 'it's an early 2000s cartoon' excuses don't really cut it.
So let's start with some basic stats. There are 49 episodes to the Danny Phantom cartoon (we will not be using the Graphic Novel, A Glitch in Time, for examples); 20 for the first season, 17 for the second, and 12 for the third. If you looked this up on Google, you might notice that these numbers don't line up with the episode list provided. This is because I counted any two-part episodes as one for convenience's sake. Season 2 has three two-parters: "Reign Storm", "The Ultimate Enemy", and "Reality Trip". Season 3 has "Phantom Planet".
Jack appears for 43 of those episodes, although he does not have any speaking lines in the episode, "Frightmare". Maddie, on the other hand, appears in 40 episodes. The three episodes that Maddie does not appear in, but Jack does, are as follows: "Memory Blank", "Flirting With Disaster", and "Double Cross My Heart".
Let's Start with Season 1:
"Mystery Meat": Jack is shown as dismissive to Danny and his friends' preferences, telling them, "True, I've never seen a ghost, but when I do, I'll be prepared. And so will you, whether you want to be or not." Later on, when Sam and Tucker are visibly shaking and Danny is panting from exhaustion, he doesn't realize something is off about this. When Jazz offers to drive Danny to school, the Fenton parents quickly assume that she's a ghost and go off to track them down... even despite her previous argument that she was mentally an adult (should I be concerned that Jazz called Danny an 'abused, unwanted wretch' to make a point to their parents?) A POINT TO MADDIE, she worried about hurting Jazz if she really wasn't a ghost but Jack quickly dismisses that, as their ghost-hunting device only hurts when gets into human hair (spoiler alert, it gets into Jazz's hair). She also insists that Danny is not a ghost, but unfortunately she ultimately doesn't try to stop Jack when he insist Jazz is a ghost. Standing aside and letting abuse play out does not mean Maddie is innocent of hurting her daughter too.
"Fanning the Flames": When Jazz and Danny are struggling to study for an upcoming test, Jack decides that they should put their kids into the 'Fenton Stockades' which is basically an iron maiden. And yes, the Fentons have an entire floor that is meant to torture people. I feel like that should probably be addressed at some point. A POINT TO MADDIE, she stood her ground and refused to let him put their children inside, and even locks him inside instead.
"Teacher of the Year": After hearing displeasing news about the state of Danny's grades in a parent-teacher conference, Maddie lectures Danny by saying, "Get this straight Danny. You're a Fenton. Fentons get As. Or in your father's case, B minuses." Before this, when Danny tried to explain himself, Jack shuts him up with, "Now that's enough of your sass talk mister." Do a lot of parents act like this? Yes. Does that make this a good, conductive way to help your child improve their grades? No, it does not. In fact, Maddie's response in particular probably reinforces the idea that Danny doesn't fit in with the rest of his family and further proves that Jazz is the favorite child. Not a great parenting moment.
"Fright Knight": In this episode, Jack tells Danny, "If I didn't consider it a sign of weakness, I'd weep with joy!" Not a very promising sign when a parent tells their child that it's wrong to show emotion. It's especially telling, however, when it's crying from joy and not even sadness. Yikes.
"13": This is the episode where Jazz 'dates' Johnny briefly, and we see Danny stalking them on their dates. I've seen people give Danny a decent amount of flack for that as well, so this would be a good time to say that the Fenton parents were there too and even encouraged him to keep stalking his sister. Danny was wrong to ignore Jazz's privacy like that, but he definitely learned it somewhere.
"Public Enemies": Here we see more of the Fenton parents' aggression towards ghosts. We get a line from Jack: "I'm gonna tear that ghost kid apart into a million different-" Notice something here? He recognizes that Phantom is a ghost 'kid' and yet still fully intends to shoot at him with the intent to hurt if not straight-up kill him. The only time Maddie disagrees with him is to insist that she does the dirty work because she has better aim than him. These are not the type of people you should let children stay with.
"Maternal Instincts": Okay, I gotta say it, this is a really cute episode. We get to see Maddie reminiscing over how close she and Danny used to be and wishing they had that bond again. Unfortunately she does get some points docked off for deciding what they should do as a bonding activity instesd of asking what Danny wanted to do and maybe learning more about his interests and who he is as a person now that he's a teenager. But there is this really sweet moment where Maddie tells Danny 'I love you' at the campsite which absolutely melted my heart and then later on when she saves Danny from the ghosts, Danny tells her she's awesome and gives her a hug. So sweet. But then she kinda ruins it by asking her son to act as a distraction and- Please do not ask your teenage children to keep skeevy old guys 'entertained' when you know he's a creep. A POINT TO JACK, while all this is going on he's defending his daughter and even shouts, "Back off, she's a minor!" That's some Dr. Doofenshmirtz energy right there, I respect it. He also talks about making Jazz an action figure, which was a really cute moment amidst the chaos.
"The Million Dollar Ghost": This episode is filled with some great Danny-Jack bonding moments and goes to show how much Danny cares about his father that he's willing to get caught to make Jack feel better about himself. We also get to see how much Jack cares about how Danny views him and he wants to be someone in Danny's eyes. Unfortunately, this is the episode where Danny gets lectured for not doing all his lab chores, such as cleaning the beakers and changing the ecto-filtrator- despite knowing that the portal could blow up if they don't change in time and knowing that Danny is bad at cleaning his own room. And we literally get a scene where Jack knocks something over and tells Danny to clean it up because he was too busy running around to do it himself. Is it important to give children chores? Yes, it teaches them responsibility. You should not be asking them to deal with hazardous, dangerous chemicals that can literally cause an explosion capable of killing people. Something to keep in mind.
Now let's look at Season 2:
"Doctor's Disorders": In this lovely (sarcasm) episode, we have Jack saying to Danny's face: "Poor Jazz. She's always been my favorite." I don't feel like this one needs much more explanation for how horrible this is. Also, this isn't really too relevant to the bad-parent-thing and more to the "they wouldn't take Danny's reveal well under other circumstances" thing, because Maddie literally says to Tucker: "Everybody knows humans can't have ghost powers." Which would technically, probably, dehumanize Danny in their eyes.
"Identity Crisis": There's one line in particular in this episode I wanted to point out, which is from Jack where he says, "Safety features? Why, safety features are for punks." ...I know this is probably supposed to be a joke, but when you think about it, it's even worse than you might think. In fanon we do tend to stress how forgetful the Fentons are when it comes to lab safety, but it's one thing to forget and it's a whole other thing to purposefully dismiss it. I could even argue that we're doing the Fentons a service by characterizing them as simply forgetful.
"The Fenton Menace": This is one of the episodes I referenced in the original ask as well, for its... plethora of concerning material. There are lines such as, "Whether it's air land or sea I won't stop until we capture a ghost and tear it apart. Molecule by molecule." A POINT TO MADDIE, she told her family she loved them by saying, "Nothing like spending quality family time with the people you love." However she immediately loses those points when she and Jack attempt to 'spin the crazy' out of Danny. The episode transcript reveals Danny's reaction to this, which is described by, "Danny screaming, his face and hair flying around. Zoom out to show him strapped to a table, which is attached to a metal arm. Zoom out to show the metal arm connected to a centrifuge-like device on the ceiling." As well as, "Danny is shaking, hair sticking up with bags under his eyes." Is this supposed to be a joke? I wouldn't know because quite frankly, I'm not laughing.
"The Fright Before Christmas": So in this episode we learn why Danny hates Christmas! Which is because he got peed on by a dog. As a baby. What kind of parent lets their baby get peed on by a dog? Again, child neglect is a criminally punishable offense, and if they had left him out, in the cold, with dog piss on him, we could have had a lot bigger problems here. They also ignore both their children for most of this episode due to their arguing, although they go back later on and tell Danny that he shouldn't be alone for Christmas and where was all this concern before?
"Secret Weapons": Ah... This is the episode where it happens. Here we get the infamous interaction. Please note how a ghost is referred to as an 'it'. Not a person, not even a kid. But an 'it' that can feel pain that will go ignored.
Jazz: "Does it hurt the ghost?" Maddie: [laughs] "Oh, Jazz! You know your father and I don't care about that. Jack: "Yeah! If we hear it scream, then we know it's working."
"Micro-Management": At the very end of this episode, Jack makes a comment to Danny, "I'm so proud. Our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president. Here's to you son." Clearly it's meant to be a compliment, but I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't take this as a compliment.
"Masters of All Time": This one takes a more distressing turn, because after Maddie catches Danny for snooping around, she has his strapped down to a table and fires a laser at him to interrogate him, thinking he's a ghost (though the laser doesn't hit him, just threatens him, which... isn't much better). And this is after he's already insisted that he's her son. He is still very clearly a child, and even if she doesn't believe that he's her son (for admittedly understandable reasons, people usually remember when they bear children), the fact that she strapped him to a table at all does not look favorably on her. Especially when he very clearly believed that she was his mother, and he was her son. And she still did this to him. Yes, there were time shenanigans involved, but that doesn't make this any easier on Danny just because he knows the truth.
"Reality Trip": This episode showcases that the Fenton parents can actually be decent parents. While they have a hard time believing the truth at first, they do eventually accept it. However, it is still important to remember that Danny could have never known what their reaction would be, so his fear is understandable and rooted in real concern for his life. Here are some of the best points from this transcript:
Jack: "Imagine, our own son has had ghost powers all this time and has kept them a secret from us. [confused] But we love him! [turning to Maddie] I wonder why he didn't trust us enough to tell us." Jazz: "[sarcastically] Hmm, let me guess. [mimicking Jack] "Hey, Maddie, let's destroy the ghost!" [mimicking Maddie] "No, Jack, let's dissect the ghost." [mimicking Jack again] "I know, let's catch the ghost and rip it apart molecule by molecule!" [normal voice, sarcastic again] You guys are so understanding." [Jack and Maddie drop their gazes, ashamed.]
Moving onto Season 3:
"Eye for an Eye": This is more a passing mention, but Jack seems to be a little obsessed with the GIW and huge fans of their work, and you do see it some more in "Livin' Large" later on in the season as well.
"Girls' Night Out": We see Jack trying to make an effort with Danny in this episode again. I did point out in the original ask reply that Jack was obviously trying to be a good father for Danny, which definitely deserves some points. However, it is still important to point out how generally uninterested Danny was in the bonding activity. It goes back to how Maddie ignored the chance to give Danny a choice, and how dismissive they tend to be towards him. I still want to award Jack a point for looking for advice from 'Father/Son Relationships For Stupids!' but I do so half-heartedly. Their interactions in this episode definitely reek with discomfort, but considering everything that has gone down in between now and "The Million Dollar Ghost", that does make sense.
"Torrent of Terror": This is another instance of extreme lack of safety precautions- the airbags don't deploy? In the GAV??? Somewhere out there, OSHA is crying.
"Forever Phantom": Maddie and Jack show a lot of anti-Phantom rhetoric in this episode. So this tracks how uncomfortable and/or threatened Danny might feel at home. Some examples include:
Jack: "He keeps this up he's liable to make people forget he's nothing but a putrid rancid ball of self-aware protoplasm."
Maddie: "Don't be fooled sweetie. He's up to something. Remember that time he attacked the mayor? Or stole everyone's Christmas presents? Once a filthy ghost always a filthy ghost."
"Livin' Large": Something to remember, the GIW intend to fire a missile into the Ghost Zone after gaining access to the Fentons' portal. While they didn't have the password right away, it cannot be understated that the Fentons basically gave away their house in exchange for wealth. Thankfully the missile was just a fake and not a real weapon of mass destruction, but do not mistake this to mean that- had it been real- the GIW wouldn't have gone through with it. And the Fenton parents would have been just as responsible.
And that concludes our canon research for this argument! Let's wrap things up with some stats. Of the 49 episodes in the show, we have evidence in 21 episodes. That is roughly 43% of the show, and this does not include comments that Danny has made about his parents and how they treat him. Obviously, at the end of the day, human error is possible. There is always a chance that I could have missed another piece of information, or perhaps another thoughtful addition to this list. However, 43% is no laughing matter.
Yes, the Fenton parents had their shining moments, but with all the other evidence presented that overshadows those little gems, can you confidently say that they are good parents? And most of all, if you were in Danny's shoes, would you say the same thing?
It's easy to excuse this as a cartoon. When you're writing in this world, playing with these characters, that excuse instantly evaporates.
Thank you for reading, I hope you all learned something about the Fenton parents like I did.
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thelastairsimblr · 3 months
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Family Pack #4
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I’m happy to share some sims with you all today! In this post, you’ll find 12 households (40 sims total), each with their own stories and biographies. All of these sims have additional Everyday outfits, skills, bonus traits, Likes and Dislikes, sexual orientations, pronouns, family dynamics, and Lifestyles. You can find them all on the gallery under my Origin ID: TheLastAirSimmer or in the tray files linked under the cut! As always, feel free to tag me if you end up using them.
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Abreu
A respected food critic, Maria’s opinion is highly valued by all as the towns’ baked good connoisseur. Her husband Joaquin, a renowned pianist, is no exception; he worships the ground she walks on. Together, they project their creative outlooks onto their sons. Santiago, the eldest and a romantic, has the full support of his parents and wants to become a professional wedding photographer. Even though young Rémy feels he didn’t inherit his parents’ imagination, he still wants to make them proud.
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Naval
Aparna owned her own restaurant while raising her two girls alone. Hema was able to help out when she was old enough, allowing Aparna to find success and receive critical acclaim by publishing her own cookbook. Today, Hema is focusing on her engineering studies while trying to find love; she’s very smart and sincere, but a bit naive. Ridhi is chasing a riskier path; she wants to be a famous musician. And while Aparna hopes that this is just a phase, she supports her youngest daughter anyway.
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Monaghan
As young parents, Stefan and Marianne sacrificed a lot. Stefan became a cop to support his family, but still gets caught up trying to relive his youth from time to time. Marianne longs for the day that she can quit her job at the local diner and become a singer. Soren feels pressure to please his parents, but really just want to play videogames all day while Tatum and Aria constantly bicker, not at all concerned with their parents’ feelings or the wellbeing of Hunter, who just wants attention.
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Larson
Quite the jazz singer in his day, Clive is desperate to find ways to stay relevant in the ever-changing music scene. Fiona, longing for the authentic soul who serenaded her years ago, knows she can inspire him again; she’s stood by him through a lot. But until then, you can find the melancholy art critic drinking to yesteryear at the bar. Jade dropped out of college to pursue a career in social media (much to Fiona’s discontent) while Candice is following the artistic path her parents paved.
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Agawa
Ever the class clown, Yuto knew that he had a knack for entertaining people. This was only confirmed after he went viral on Social Bunny for the first time! When he told his parents that he wanted to pursue a life in the public eye, they saw it as further evidence that he couldn’t take anything seriously. He makes a decent living streaming video games and his eccentric personality is pure internet gold. Though to be fair, he should probably be a bit cautious with what he says and does online.
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Hollifield
As a teen, Whitney’s future looked bright. But she forfeited a lot of opportunities to pursue a whirlwind romance with a boy who had a dangerous edge. They were happy for a time, but it didn’t last and the only thing she kept from that relationship was her daughter Emma. She now works a lowly job in fast food while taking classes at Britechester, hoping to find a career in social media. Her days are busier as a working single mom, but Emma keeps herself entertained by befriending her neighbors.
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Catton
Following the loss of her son to avoidable circumstances, Dottie found herself in the care of his two children. Filled with regret for not doing more for her son, the college professor watches the kids like a hawk! She’s keen on using her connections to better their lives. Temperamental Owen does well to make her proud with his grades, but he has an artsy side that he only shares with those closest to him. His little sister Bonnie would rather spend time making friends than studying though.
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Qian
After founding a groundbreaking app, Shirong found a place among the company of the rich and powerful. His charming wife Meifing, quite the schmoozer at elite parties, is constantly looking for funding for her next big venture (while also being the go-to-girl for all the neighborhood gossip). Nuo chose to move home after grad school to save money, but is ready to leave and start her own law firm. Her younger brother Haoyu adds to her restlessness by barraging her with his antics.
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Sullivan
Atticus’ dad Clifford, a retired veteran, supported his sons’ musical dreams fully, having raised him alone after his wife died. While roaming the world, Atticus met Elisa; a fashion guru with a fiery disposition. The pair had three children and Clifford moved in to help with the newborn. Like her dad, Lydia also wants to be an artist (whether if it’s for her love for acting or a desire to be in the spotlight remains to be seen) while Malicia, afraid of being unseen, finds relief in her friends.
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Kingsley-Ramirez
Jaime and Paxton met/moved in together before they could actually get to know each other, both having been new to the city at the time with zero connections. They found themselves compatible not only as roommates, but eventually boyfriends as well! Jaime always puts others before himself; it shows in the passion he has for social justice causes he advocates for. Meanwhile, Pax works a parttime job at a small coffee shop, but is intent on putting himself through school to become a veterinarian.
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Tanaka-Murdock
Nigel and Shannon met at Foxbury and developed feelings for each other during study sessions. Though Nigel was the only one to graduate, he admires Shannon for making the decision that was right for her. He enjoys being the breadwinner while Shannon follows her artistic instincts, though he wishes he had his wife’s free spirit. Shannon is quite hard on herself and works tirelessly until she makes something she’s proud of while their son Kason, while a quick learner, really just wants to play.
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Miyake
Even if he’s never been the most social person, Kenzo is a loyal and fierce friend to those lucky enough to make it into his circle. A patron of the sciences, he cares deeply about precision and perfection. However, when it comes to raising his son Akira, he wants the boy to follow his own path, even if it’s not exactly the one he would choose for himself. Akira seems to be doing just that; far more sociable than his father, he never fails to leave a lasting impression on anyone he meets.
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dreamdolldeveloper · 4 months
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back to basics
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mostly free resources to help you learn the basics that i've gathered for myself so far that i think are cool
everyday
gcfglobal - about the internet, online safety and for kids, life skills like applying for jobs, career planning, resume writing, online learning, today's skills like 3d printing, photoshop, smartphone basics, microsoft office apps, and mac friendly. they have core skills like reading, math, science, language learning - some topics are sparse so hopefully they keep adding things on. great site to start off on learning.
handsonbanking - learn about finances. after highschool, credit, banking, investing, money management, debt, goal setting, loans, cars, small businesses, military, insurance, retirement, etc.
bbc - learning for all ages. primary to adult. arts, history, science, math, reading, english, french, all the way to functional and vocational skills for adults as well, great site!
education.ket - workplace essential skills
general education
mathsgenie - GCSE revision, grade 1-9, math stages 1-14, provides more resources! completely free.
khan academy - pre-k to college, life skills, test prep (sats, mcat, etc), get ready courses, AP, partner courses like NASA, etc. so much more!
aleks - k-12 + higher ed learning program. adapts to each student.
biology4kids - learn biology
cosmos4kids - learn astronomy basics
chem4kids - learn chemistry
physics4kids - learn physics
numbernut - math basics (arithmetic, fractions and decimals, roots and exponents, prealgebra)
education.ket - primary to adult. includes highschool equivalent test prep, the core skills. they have a free resource library and they sell workbooks. they have one on work-life essentials (high demand career sectors + soft skills)
youtube channels
the organic chemistry tutor
khanacademy
crashcourse
tabletclassmath
2minmaths
kevinmathscience
professor leonard
greenemath
mathantics
3blue1brown
literacy
readworks - reading comprehension, build background knowledge, grow your vocabulary, strengthen strategic reading
chompchomp - grammar knowledge
tutors
not the "free resource" part of this post but sometimes we forget we can be tutored especially as an adult. just because we don't have formal education does not mean we can't get 1:1 teaching! please do you research and don't be afraid to try out different tutors. and remember you're not dumb just because someone's teaching style doesn't match up with your learning style.
cambridge coaching - medical school, mba and business, law school, graduate, college academics, high school and college process, middle school and high school admissions
preply - language tutoring. affordable!
revolutionprep - math, science, english, history, computer science (ap, html/css, java, python c++), foreign languages (german, korean, french, italian, spanish, japanese, chinese, esl)
varsity tutors - k-5 subjects, ap, test prep, languages, math, science & engineering, coding, homeschool, college essays, essay editing, etc
chegg - biology, business, engineering/computer science, math, homework help, textbook support, rent and buying books
learn to be - k-12 subjects
for languages
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flexiclasses - option to study abroad, resources to learn, mandarin, cantonese, japanese, vietnamese, korean, italian, russian, taiwanese hokkien, shanghainese.
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fluenz - spanish immersion both online and in person - intensive.
pimsleur - not tutoring** online learning using apps and their method. up to 50 languages, free trial available.
incase time has passed since i last posted this, check on the original post (not the reblogs) to see if i updated link or added new resources. i think i want to add laguage resources at some point too but until then, happy learning!!
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witchxxjpg · 3 months
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im happy that you liked my previous lestappen hunger games au🥳🥳🥳 and asked for a part of it. it is alive purely because of you, so enjoy!!
******
Charles got picked when he was just 12 years old. It was rare for a tribute to be that young but it happened sometimes.
Jules volunteered for him that year. He could've been 18 the following month but he stayed 17 forever. Charles would always remeber staying up all night to pray for him.
Charles would forever remeber seeing another tribute slashing his throat with a sword.
The whole 10th district mourned his death that day, raising a finger to the sky, pointing to the place where all people went. He was a caring and passionate guy. Even some other districts said their sorries. He was loved by everyone. And by Charles the most.
In just 5 years Arthur was picked. And Charles knew exactly what he needed to do.
The Capitol played his life as a tragic story of a boy who repayed his debt by volunteering himself for his little brother. He knew that Jules didn't want that, but he also knew that Arthur was too small and scared to be a tribute.
He won his games.
He portrayed the role of an innocent brother with angelic face and a pure goal. He wanted to believe the lies that the Capitol made him play. But everyone saw how Markus, a boy from district 4, died. With a dagger in his heart.
Charles was always good with daggers and knives. In his district he was terrible at caring for animals that his family was all looking after. But he was extremely good with skinning and preparing the meat to be sent to the Capitol. He used his skills well during his games.
He never had nightmares. But he saw traits of lost tributes in faces of all people.
Charles lived peacefully for 6 years.
He was more or less lucky with how the Capitol treated him afterwards. He was well aware of how pretty looking tributes ended up. But his role was to motivate all the districts to behave. They filmed a lot of videos with him that they called 'promotional'. To show what happened to people who disobeyed and to people who behaved themselves.
Charles was sick of doing all these lies, but it was better then being a toy for some moneybags.
After 6 years the 75th Hunger Games were announced. The Third Quarter Quell.
There were only three male winners from District 10. Sebastian and Kimi. And Charles.
Charles was picked again. He said his goodbyes to his family.
He was aware that these games would be different and he knew that he won't walk out of them alive. He at least was happy that Sebastian agreed to be his mentor this time too.
******
Max was born to win. That's what his father always said. He was trained all his early childhood to become a winner of the games.
That's why as soon as he turned legal age he volunteered.
His father pressured him into the games and never helped. Max was lucky to have Daniel as his mentor.
He won his first games of course. The youngest winner ever and with a record of most tributes eliminated.
He'd thought that he'd never have nightmares. But now he knew.
Max was just 13 when he won, but as soon as he started to understand the world he knew that he was doomed.
Doomed ro relive memories of his father's puppet.
Max dreamed of his snowy arena. Of all 12 kids that he killed with his axe. Of their distorted faces and hoarse screams. He never wanted to fall asleep again.
After the games he continued to study in the academy to be a peacekeeper. He wanted ro do at least something good. He finished with the highest grades and best results. He was offered a position as a Head Peacekeeper. He chose District 10.
He saw people from District 10 selebrate its win when that boy returned home. He saw them raising a finger to the sky. 'The chosen one'. That's how they called him. Charles.
Max saw him sometimes. When he went to the central fair or left to the Victor's Village. He saw how people treated him. Like a son or a close friend. And he treated them the same.
He was their victor.
All winners had perks and Max saw how he gave them all away to people of his district.
Max had to suppress his inner urge to reach out for him. To ask if he felt the same way.
Like a broken tool that no longer had a purpose to serve
Probably he didn't. He helped his people. And Max was a peacekeeper, wearing a mask to hide his face that's outlined by all the deaths that he'd caused.
He tried to reduce people's suffering.
He was a peacekeeper for 8 years.
When the time of the 75th Hunger Games came closer, Max knew about the Third Quater Quell and how it would be like.
There were a lot of winners to compete for District 2, but during the reaping Daniel was chosen. Max didn't doubt that Daniel would've won the quill, but Max saw the trace that the games had left on him. He saw how the games had treated him. He knew Daniel's story.
Max volunteered again.
Long time ago he cared about himself. But he didn't anymore.
He saw that boy from District 10 being chosen too.
******
Daniel was born in District 2, but his parents weren't.
He never felt like he fit with all the others.
Since young age he had to attend the academy to train there like every child of the second district muct do. He always hated it.
He read once in some old book from the library a phrase that made him understand what he felt. 'Like a bird in a cage'. His 6 year old self was very impressed.
Daniel liked all his survival classes, the ones that didn't include murders. All of his classmates hated them.
He was never like the others. When he first got to his class he tried to make friends. That's what his parents advised him to do. He tried to smile and tell stupid jokes, to share home-made food with the others and help them study. He tried to be himself.
But it never quite worked.
Everyone laughed at him and not with him. They pointed at him, calling him 'a dumb weirdo'. They took his food away and threw it in a garbage bin. They locked him in storage rooms to skip classes that caused him a lot of warnings and later detentions.
Daniel tried not to notice them but he couldn't. He spent most of his life in the academy with bruises on all his body parts and tears on his cheeks. He knew that he was not like the others but he didn't think that he was so difficult that people can't be in the same room as him.
Until he turned 17.
All students from the academy had a queue for games. Everyone fought to have a chance to win the games. And when the reaping started someone from the list of volunteers would go.
Daniel was picked for the 64th Hunger Games. He thought that someone from the careers would volunteer as they always did. But everybody kept silent.
It felt like a death sentence.
His mentor was Mark. He was fun and helpful. He advised to make friends.
On the first meeting with tributes Daniel decided that he liked only Jev from District 8 and Jules from District 10. They were both nice and didn't laugh at his attempts to be nice too. It was the first time that he thought he could have a friend.
It didn't last long.
Jev was one of the first to get eliminated. Daniel and Jules tried to stay together. But one day into the games they had to part ways to get food and water.
The next time Daniel saw him was with a sword slashing his throat.
He tried to heal the wound but his knowledge wasn't enough.
Before Jules passed away he gave Daniel his lucky charm - a small wooden statuette of a bird. Daniel wouldn later return it to his godson.
Daniel won the games. He knew that nobody from his district expected that.
The following year he decided to become a mentor. For 13 year old Max.
Max was always angry with his bright icy eyes shining with rage. But he also wasn't like others.
He was one of the careers, but Daniel didn't see their traits in him. Max didn't want to win for glory and pride.
He just wanted to make his dad happy with him.
Daniel tried to teach him how to live in this world. He tried to make him realise that he didn't need to kill all 23 of tributes for his dad to be happy with his son. He tried to make him feel better. He tried to joke and make him laugh as all early teenagers his age should do.
And he felt pretty cool when he succeeded in that, hearing his small laugh with a shy smile.
He knew that the boy liked him but he didn't know what to do.
And then Max won his games.
He stood there on the podium with a prideful expression on his face, but all Daniel saw were his empty eyes filled with something.
And Daniel was well aware what was that something. He saw it in himself every time he looked in the mirror.
Daniel tried to reach out when Max told him that he's going to be a peacekeeper. They even met sometimes when he was still studying in the academy.
After Max graduated he was sent to District 10 to serve there. And Daniel tried to still talk to him. Even when Max was very busy with his duties they called each other. And Daniel was always happy to hear his voice.
Daniel made friends among other winners. He had Lewis and Sebastian. But there was still something about Max that made Daniel care.
The next time they saw each other was right before the reaping for the Quarter Quell. All of the victors from District 2 were in the same hall, and there were a lot of them.
Daniel barely recognized Max with all the years that they spent apart. He looked broad and tall, even taller then Daniel. Nothing like a 13 year old boy that had won the games. His face was completely different, a strong jaw and no chubby cheeks.
But his eyes. They were still empty.
They shared an awkward hug and Daniel felt too good in his arms. He wished they could stay together for longer.
And he felt fine until his name was called.
He was picked.
Almost third of all the winners were from District 2, so Daniel thought that he wouldn't be in the games again.
He didn't have the time to think because Max volunteered.
When he looked at Daniel his face didn't hold a trace of uncertainty. He looked calm and sure. And his beautiful eyes flickered with something. But it wasn't the same something as after his games. It was something different.
And in a week he found himself in the same situation like 10 years ago.
Helping Max win.
******
Sebastian though he was a good mentor.
He took this role after his win at the 61st Hunger Games. He was the second male victor from District 2.
Kimi was a good mentor too. He was always calm and confident. Sometimes he felt distant but Seb never had a feeling that he didn't care about his tributes.
Sebastial saw a lot of good children that competed in the games. He saw all of them die.
He was a mentor for 8 years until he met Charles.
Everyone in District 10 knew Charles. His family had one of the biggest farms and Charles was extremely skilled with daggers. And everyone knew his story.
Sebastian still remembered mentoring Jules.
For Charles he decided to go for a sad story. That's how they can get more sponsors.
Charles was a pretty good actor and quickly understood what worked the best to get a reaction from the audience. He played well with his adoring face and big eyes.
Even before the games started they had enough donations for Seb to sent him daggers as a sponsor dift, so he didn't need to fight for the weapons.
And Charles won.
It wasn't something that Sebastian was surprised about. But he didn't think that he'd ever experience some kind of happiness. And here it was.
They both lived in Victor's Village. It was almost empty except for 5 houses that were also occupied by Kimi, Silvia and Lily. Both women preferred to live in the Capitol, so usually there were only three of them.
They even met every day for dinners together. It could get lonely sometimes.
Kimi had a family. A beautiful wife and two amazing kids. Seb loved them.
He didn't understand how Kimi could live knowing that his children might go through the same thing in the future. Seb knew that he didn't want kids because he wouldn't be able to live if one of them was picked for the games.
Sebastian waited for the Third Quarter Quell.
When it was announced Charles said that he would go for them if he or Kimi were chosen.
It wasn't necessary. Charles' name was called.
Sebastian knew that it was his duty to protect him.
They decided on the same strategy. Play nice and innocent for the sponsors.
When asked about alliance, Charles said that he wanted Carlos and Max. Seb would've advised on Lewis. But knowing that Nico from District 1 was participating, he would be too occupied fighting his biggest enemy.
Sebastian thought that Carlos was a good option. He was strong and not that arrogant. His help would be great.
But Max was different.
Even though Seb trusted Daniel who said that he was good, he still wasn't so sure.
Max was always quite complicated. He was too aggressive and forward, and despite everything that Daniel told him Seb didn't like him.
The games started in no time.
Charles knew their strategy well. He teamed with Carlos as soon as everything started.
They ran together.
They did pretty good during the first couple of days. Even succeeded in stealing an axe for Carlos and a knife for Charles.
This time the arena was a forest and it got pretty cold fast. They had to help each other.
They found a beautiful lake and a well-hidden cave nearby. There was also a small field with a lot of growing poppies that made it look as it was cowered in drops of blood.
On the first day near the lake Carlos made a small bouquet of them and gave it to Charles.
Sebastian thought that they were a good team. Trusting each other. He saw that something was growing between them.
Until one day Carlos got a spiked arrow in his right shoulder.
Everyone understood that he wouldn't be able to walk out alive.
Sebastian saw Charles trying to help him with all his herbalism skills, Seb himself sent them some good ointment to heal the wound. But it still wasn't helping.
He saw Carlos screaming in agony and Charles crying over his feverish body. Carlos begging Charles to kill him and end his suffering.
They all saw Charles putting his knife on Carlos' throat, choking on tears.
Charles buried him near the shore of the lake, filling his grave with bright red poppies.
The next day Charles decided to go search for the others. He packed all his things and took Carlos' axe. He was shit at working with it but it was his only great weapon as his knife had become dull. And he still remembered some of the tips that Max had shared with him during their training out of the blue.
He walked the whole day and thought that he wouldn't see anyone. But just as the sun set he saw a flicker of light in the distance. As he quickly and quietly approached the bonfire, holding the axe at ready, he noticed him. It was Max.
And Max noticed him too.
"I don't want to kill you", Charles said.
And Max answered, "I don't want to kill you either".
They were awkward at first but Max reached to his backpack and pulled three daggers. "They might suit you better then me. I have no idea what to do with them".
Charles took the gift and decided to give Carlos' axe away in return.
They didn't sleep at night, not really trusting each other yet, and talked. And appeared that they had a lot in common.
Sebastian saw all of this.
He just hoped that it wouldn't end up terrible. And that he wouldn't need to mourn another friend.
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httpknjoon · 7 months
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(re)starting over again | kth; 12
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plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.
words | 5.3k
genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au
pairing | taehyung x reader
warning/s | mentions of death, drinking, disease (cancer)
note | surpisingly, i am still alive lol i'm kidding. i apologize for the delay! the bad headaches are now gone and the fever has cooled down. and now, the update's here! to everyone who sent their messages, tysm I appreciate it 🥺 I didn't mean to ghost y'all, I'm so sorry! anw hope u enjoy reading this one :)
main masterlist | series masterlist
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Ever since you were young, you liked things to go the way you planned it. When you were younger, you carried a small notebook with you. Your father gave you your first one during the holidays when you were seven. In there, you make your own little bullet journal, listing off the things you would want to do for the upcoming days. With your messy handwriting, you even wrote your far future plans.
As a child, you used to see things with your rose-colored glasses. Everything seemed real and attainable for your small hands. You thought you just had to follow the usual path of your plans and you would be fine. But things do not always go according to plan. You learned it the hard way.
You always dreamt of being a nurse. At age eight, you were a frequent visitor to the hospital. Not because you were sick yourself, but because you and your mom had to go back there from time to time with your dad who was receiving treatment for his disease. You wanted to take care of him. So you did what a little girl could do, listen to your dad’s heartbeat through your plastic toy stethoscope and kiss his pain away. He would always call you his favorite nurse and you would give him your toothy grin. After a year, when you were nine, he lost his battle with cancer. 
Confused and in sorrow, you almost crossed out that dream from your list. You had a hard time understanding why you had to lose your dad at such an early age. Your friends had dads, how come you lost yours before you could even reach middle school? Then, you became angry. Your father was always in treatment in the hospital. Hospitals are meant to cure people, right? Your little kid brain thought. It felt unfair to you.
But then, you and your mom later left the small neighborhood you were living in and moved in with your aunt– her older sister. Aunty Belle is a nurse herself, a surprise for you as you didn’t know you have a relative who works in the same place you loathed at that time. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her, she was warm and welcoming when you arrived in her humble abode in Incheon. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she took good care of you and your mom. She became your third parent while your mom deals with the grief of losing her husband.
“It’s fun. You get to meet wonderful people every day and help them to feel better.” your aunt replied once when you asked her about her job.
Aunty Belle never got tired of your questions and curiosity about nursing. Slowly, you began rebuilding your plans. The dream of being a nurse is back, added with your other dreams: making your mom happy, and living independently (like your aunt). You studied hard, aiming for higher grades and going to the best college for your dreams.
But at age fifteen, Aunty Belle became your legal guardian when your mom passed. Through your aunt, you learned that your mother has been struggling heavier than you expected. Your aunt was extremely worried for your mom that’s why she begged her to come and live with her. You always thought your mom was getting better with how she cried less day by day and even took a job as a receptionist in a dental clinic. 
Since then, you have become more understanding and emotionally sensitive to everyone. The feelings you had years ago when you lost your dad were creeping around you. This time, instead of being angry at something else, you felt like this one was on you. You blamed yourself for not seeing the signs from your mother’s eyes. How she became more reserved or how her eyes were often blank whenever she tried to smile for you. Maybe you were too focused on reaching your plans that you didn’t give any attention to her. You were angry, hurt, and in guilt. It’s too overwhelming and is heavy in your heart. It reached the point where you broke down during breakfast, in front of the toast and bacon Aunty Belle prepared for you, weeks after your mom’s funeral.
“I should’ve seen it. I should have seen that she was not okay.” you sniffed as you looked down your plate. “I was supposed to make her feel better and happy.”
Crying, you pushed your plate in front of you and just covered your face with your palms. You repeated the words over and over again like you were reminding yourself how you failed as your mom’s only child.
“Oh, sweetie…” your aunt whispered before sitting beside you and enveloping you in a hug. Her hand moved up and down your arms, making you feel warm. “It’s not your fault. You are the best daughter she could ask for. She loves you more than anything else.”
After that morning, Aunty Belle made sure to get you the best help. She guided you in everything she could and supported you with your choices. She made sure that you will still pursue your plans, never stopping you from doing what you want. Years later, you graduated from high school and were about to embark on a new journey.
“You know that you can just have this place,” she mumbled when you were packing your things. “I’m selling it anyway.”
“But Aunty, this isn’t in my plan. You know how bad I want to live in Seoul.” you smiled at her.
Because of your efforts and hard work, you got accepted into one of the best universities in another city. You later moved from Incheon to Seoul to finish your studies and become a nurse there. While Aunty Belle sold her home and followed her own plans of living with her longtime best friends under one roof.
But none of what happened in the last few years was part of your plans when you were younger. You didn’t really see yourself coming back to Incheon after living in Seoul for the longest time. You never thought you would leave your job in the hospital you dreamed of and work in a slightly different environment.
Two years ago, you left home. The house you had plans in with someone else. You were the one who broke off those plans and moved away without really telling anyone. You remembered that night like it was yesterday.
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Every step you took away from him felt like a piece of you fell on the ground. Your vision was all blurry and you had to cover your lips as you sobbed. You clutched onto your gown while you remind yourself that you need to do this. For the sake of your own being. But still, there is this voice telling you to stay– to turn around and come back to him.
“YN, honey,” 
Looking up, you see Julia looking at you with sympathy. She walked towards you with open arms and you immediately just broke down on her dress. Listening to your sobs, Julia eyes her date, whom you didn’t notice was there waiting too, to get in the car. 
Your whispered voice muffled in the hug, “I hate this so much,”
The whole drive home, Julia and Chanyeol respected your silence in the backseat. They put on some radio music and chatted about the wedding while your teary eyes just looked outside the window. They were like your parents that night. When you guys passed by McDonald’s, it took one nudge from Julia to make Chanyeol turn the car back around for the drive-thru. She ordered your food for you in a separate bag so you could have something to eat when you reached home. When you arrived in front of your house, they helped you with your small bag. 
“Thank you so much, guys. I’m sorry this is our first meeting, Chanyeol.” you tried to lighten the mood as you three stood on the porch.
He smiled, “It’s fine. Everyone has their bad day.”
You chuckled before Julia nudged her again with her elbow. Then, she turns to you.
“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”
“Probably early morning. I already have the keys to keep my apartment so I can go there now too if I want to.” your words rambled as your head felt like a mess.
“Okay, call me. I’ll pick you up–” Before you can say anything, she lifts her finger. “And no, I won’t take no for an answer. I wanna see your new place.”
They left after Julia made sure you were fine. Walking into your house for the last time, you tried to go straight to your room to change from your gown to your pajamas. Then, you cried again. And again. And again. 
The last time you woke up in that house was the morning after that. You woke up before dawn. The sky was barely lit and the moon was still present above you. You promised yourself that you would leave like a ghost. Like what you have been doing the last few days. Cleaning up, your hand ran on your bedsheets to smoothen out the wrinkles. Fortunately, almost ninety percent of your clothes fit in two pieces of luggage. You just have to leave a few things that you’ll probably get when you get back.
From Julia
Will be there in five
Five minutes left, you find yourself sitting in front of your vanity mirror. Making one last check, you pulled the small drawers in the table. That’s when you saw that old pearl ring Taehyung bought you in the flea market. A heavy sigh from your chest makes its way out of your lips. Holding it between your thumb and index finger, you stare at it.
We tried, didn’t we?
Before any tears can fall, you simply close your eyes. Your chest heaves. You clutched that ring in your palm for some minute, like you were giving your one last goodbye. Then, you carefully place it next to your keys. You decided to leave your keys as you don’t want to come and go here in secret as you always have the tendency to do that especially if you want to avoid a person. Like you were doing now. You want to come back here better and hopefully, talk to Taehyung in the future.
Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.
You wrote on a piece of paper that you left on the same table. In the weeks you two lived together after the accident, you knew how he struggled to adjust to this house. Now that you’re going, you wish for him to feel comfortable in this house you two shared and called home. The pieces of furniture and shade of blue that took over every wall in the house were picked by both you and Taehyung when you bought it. The frame kept every memory you and Taehyung love to look back on in the span of your four-year relationship. But if it means for him to feel at home, you won’t mind if he wants to change things around the house. Even though it will probably break your heart harder than it is now.
“You…”
It was only your first morning, the second day in your new apartment in Incheon when someone came knocking on your door. You were still organizing your place and unpacking when you heard continuous heavy knocks. Almost instantly, your eyes widened when you saw who it was through your door’s peephole. The person spoke again as soon as you opened your door.
“You moved?!” Jisoo immediately pushed through your door and welcomed herself in. “You moved here?!”
Based on the tone of her voice, she was more angry than surprised. Her eyebrows were scrunched together while her nose flared. Her hands were on her hips like she was waiting for an explanation. Your lips opened for a second before it closed again. You softly scratched your cheek before opening your lips again,
“I-I thought you were on your honeymoon vacation.”
She tilts her head, “Well, I’m not. Am I?”
“Why are you here?” you mumbled, sounding scared at her.
The thing is, Jisoo rarely gets angry or annoyed. You had known her ever since you began working as a nurse and you learned she have the longest patience for everyone else. But when she runs out of it, you don’t know how she will react.
“Why are you here?” she returned your question with raised eyebrows. “You did not tell me you were moving here or resigning in the hospital! What happened?”
You closed the door and quietly walked back to your messy living room since you knew she would follow. She did and continued,
“I saw the shift schedule like two hours ago and you’re not there. I had to ask Gail and she said you resigned. You were not answering my calls or messages! I had to call Julia. Then, she told me you moved here– What the fuck happened? I was only busy for like two weeks and next thing I know, my best friend’s in another city and hospital.”
You sat on your grey couch while Jisoo still stood in front of you. You looked away as your replied,
“Well, actually I’ll be working in a school–”
Jisoo’s tone went higher, “What?!”
“I applied as a school nurse–”
“No, no, no.” she shushed you. “Tell me everything that happened. Everything.”
So you did. But first, you asked her to sit down next to you. You ordered food by app as you don’t really have any stock of food at the moment. While you were waiting for the food, you began telling her about what happened. From how you met Lily to how you happened to be where you are right now. Jisoo listened intently. As you went on, you noticed her shoulders and facial expression softened up. From her jaw being clenched tight, her lips were formed into a slight frown. You tried not to cry throughout the whole story-telling impromptu but your voice did shake and you just felt your best friend’s warm hands somewhere in the middle of your story. At the end, you find yourself leaning your head on her shoulder while she leans hers on top.
“I and Joon just decided to go on honeymoon next month. Plus, I have a toaster and an air fryer in my car.” Jisoo broke the comfortable silence you two shared with a random sentence.
You lifted your head, looking at her, “What? Why?”
“We received like a ton of it from the wedding. We had to give some stuff away rather than selling it and I just knew your place is probably still empty. So I just bought some. I have plates too.” she smiled.
“But what if I was the one who gave you that toaster?” you asked, squinting your eyes.
“You did not.” she chuckled but your expression didn’t change. She blinked and asked with a feeble voice, “You did not, right?”
Your lips broke into a smile, “Yeah, we didn’t.”
She pouted before you two laughed and hugged. Just like that, you and Jisoo are okay.
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Unlike any of your past decisions, nothing was truly planned when you decided to move away. Aunty Belle, whom you visit every now and then, comforted you about it and said that life just happens like that sometimes. And that’s how your two years went. Unplanned. You just applied for the first good job you saw, which happened to be being a school nurse in a preschool. You moved to another apartment after just a few months since your initial place is farther on the subway you always take to get to the school every morning.
Working with kids, you always miss your patients back in Seoul. Particularly, Naeun, whom you are still in contact with. You visit her a couple of times when you go to Seoul.
And there were times when you thought you saw Taehyung. Not just in Seoul, but also in Incheon. The first one was just months after you left, you were on your way to preschool when you saw him in the subway. But you thought it was just a look-alike and impossible since he would not have any reason to come here. Plus, you were feeling a little down that week as it was supposedly your fifth anniversary. The next time is when you come to Seoul to visit Naeun. It was a busy Sunday and you stopped by a toy store in the mall to get a gift for your favorite patient. It was a bit crowded since it was on sale. So you lost him in the blink of an eye.
The most recent one is when you came to Seoul for Julia’s birthday. You had a few drinks with your friends and everything was already slightly blurry. But you swore you saw him when you were waiting for your Uber late at night. You were with Julia, who was waiting with you just to make sure you’d be safe. She was talking about something but your eyes caught a man walking on the other side of the road with his head down on his phone. The small light coming from his screen made you recognize him. It’s him, you’re sure.
Although you have visited the city a couple of times already, you never drop by the bakeshop or the house. You never even contacted Taehyung. There were times it crossed your mind. But you never did. You miss him. God knows, how much. But you don’t know what to say about the house, him, you, or the relationship you two had.
You and Jimin talked seldomly. The first one was a week after you and Taehyung officially went separate ways. He would ask how are you and you would do the same thing. You were surprised but happy at the same time when you learned he had a kid, who happens to be Jisoo’s nephew. You two had this unspoken rule to not talk about Taehyung because Jimin doesn’t bring him up and you are too shy to ask. But you know they are doing well, you heard they expanded the shop.
In the whole two years, Taehyung never really left your mind. It’s hard. Especially when you would still get random reminders of your relationship in unexpected ways. In what was supposed to be your fifth anniversary, you got a scheduled e-mail from his account. Every year, your phone calendar still updates you to buy him a gift a month before his birthday. And just like last month, you found an old picture in one of your bags. Something you probably slipped there long ago. It’s a picture taken years ago during your first snow in your house with a handwritten caption, TOO MORE SNOWY DAYS TOGETHER. It was in his handwriting.
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“Goodbye, Nurse YN!”
A little kid waved his little hand to you while his mom politely smiled at you. You waved back and continued walking back from your small clinic. This is how your day ends in school: tiny voices saying goodbye and sometimes giving you warm hugs. You were never really busy since you worked with two other school nurses who you became friends with. 
“Oh, hey, YN.”
You just sat in front of your computer screen, recording some student’s health records, when your co-nurse popped into your shared office. Martha just found her recent hobby a couple of months ago after you told her that you haven’t been dating for the last couple of years.
You exaggeratedly sighed and did not even look at her, “What do you want?”
“YN sounds so tired of you already.” Aileen, your other co-nurse, laughed while organizing her files.
“I know, she is.” Martha chuckled. She turns to you, “I know a guy…”
You paused from what you were doing, “Martha–” 
It’s not like you’re not interested in dating. It took you more than a year to be open again to the idea and so far, you’ve gone into two dates from Martha’s recommendations. But both were not a match. The first one is a great guy but he seems like he cannot get over an ex since he talked about her half of the time. While the second guy is just rude. That’s all you can say about him. The date was all about him not liking how the steak was cooked and how one of the waiters was too kind to you. It was horrible.
“No, no, honey. Listen to me first.” Matha cuts you off. “I personally know this guy. He’s my cousin and… he also works in the medical field! He’s a doctor.”
An eyebrow raised. A doctor? Well, you never dated one before. But you knew doctors were better than that last guy you mentioned.
Aileen joined, “Is he the one you showed me earlier?
“Yup,” Martha replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.
“Oh, you’ve got to see him, YN. The guy is gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “If you won’t date him, I will!”
The three of you laughed. Of course, Aileen can’t. She is currently seven months pregnant with her second child and married to one of the teachers in this same preschool.
“Just don’t tell Seb,” she added, mentioning her husband.
You still haven’t said anything even though you are admittedly interested. Martha pulled her phone out.
“Wait, I’ll show you his account.”
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“Oh, that dress suits you perfectly!”
Jisoo’s voice filled your room as you fixed the dress on your body. Even though you two are in different cities, she is still your go-to every time you need to dress up for something. Usually, through Facetiming. The date is fine-dining. So, you tried on different dresses for Jisoo to pick on and eventually, you two agreed on the same one.
“Don’t forget your coat! It might get cold,” she advised. “Now, turn around again!”
You giggled before doing what she said. You heard her cheer and compliments, making you smile.
“You are stunning!”
“Thank you so much for helping me, Jiji,” you said with a small smile.
“You’re welcome. Just have fun, okay? Let me know how it goes later.” she told you and you nodded. She spoke again, “Now, go! Book that Uber already.”
“Okay, okay. Bye! Call you later. Love you!” you waved.
She waved back, “Love you, take care!”
You ended the call and moved to another app to look for a ride. Your date initially asked if you wanted him to pick you up. But you just agreed to meet him at the restaurant he invited you to. He seems nice. Martha said her cousin has been single for a while now. After his last relationship, he just gave most of his time to work.
To +82 65 78** ****
Hi! I’m on my way. See you there.
You sent your date the message when you finally got in the car you booked twenty minutes ago. It did not even take a few minutes before he replied,
From +82 65 78** ****
Okay, see you there! Take care.
Pursing your lips, you look outside the window of the moving car. You hope for the best for tonight. You hope Martha’s recommendation is at least okay this time. Maybe the universe could prove to you that Taehyung is not the only guy in the world who could make the butterflies play around in your stomach. Or the only guy who would be patient enough with your tendencies. You just have to know that he is not the only guy in the world. Period.
As much as you won’t say it, dating Taehyung for four years made him your standard for everything. You already met two versions of him; one before the accident and one after the accident. They are almost the same person but the latter just brought you a lot of pain because of various circumstances. But you know and feel he shows his emotions in other ways.
“We’re here.” the female driver, whom you saw is Val, said as she stopped the car in front of the brightly lit restaurant.
You smiled before getting out of the vehicle, “Thank you.”
Starry Night lives up to its name. As you noticed before, the whole place is lit up with many lights. Carefully, you walked inside with your strappy heels. The staff smiled and greeted you, and you greeted them back.
“Good evening, madam. Welcome to Starry Night. How may I help you?”
“I have a reservation under Jung Hoseok’s name.” you politely replied.
“Oh, okay. Let me check our list. Excuse me.” the host scrolled down his iPad for a minute. “The name’s here! Please, follow me to your table. This way please.” 
You followed him while looking around the place. It’s not too crowded and it has a romantic feeling because of the lights and jazz music. You know someone who would have loved to go here. Before you sit down, the host assisted you with the chair and offered to take your coat. You agreed. Pulling out your phone from your purse, you update Hoseok that you just arrived. You put your phone down and studied the whole place again with your eyes. 
A woman caught your eye. She was talking and chatting with the chef in the side station. They looked like they were waiting for someone to enter the door. Your gaze were broke off when someone spoke from your side.
“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Soojin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. Would you like to order something?” the young waiter smiled.
“Oh, I’m still waiting for my date…” you murmured. “But can I have some water please?”
“Certainly, ma’am. Excuse me.”
Soojin left as you said thank you. As she was gone from your sight, your eyes landed on the man who was entering the restaurant. Dressed in a nice black coat over a light blue shirt, you quickly recognize him. Your mouth runs dry while your heart beats like a horse’s footsteps in a race. You were frozen.
What is he doing he– Fuck.
Your eyes meet. You can see his eyes widening as his lips gaped slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while you practically lost your hearing. All you can hear is the drum inside your chest.
Fuck, you cursed again.
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What are the chances for this to happen? Is the universe playing or simply fucking with you? You asked for a great date and it gave you this. The man you’ve been holding as your standard ever since. 
It burns.
His eyes. You can feel them as you take a sip from the ice-cold glass of water. After the host led him to one of the empty tables in your line, your eyes traveled everywhere except on his spot. You two were literally just an empty table apart.
Is he here for a date? Why here? In Incheon, really? Can’t he just date people from Seoul?
It has been nine minutes, you’ve been counting. Your hand rests on your knee, to stop your knees from jerking up and down, while the other rests on the table with your phone. You’ve been texting but erasing messages to Hoseok. You don’t think you can do this. With Taehyung being just a few feet away from you, it felt wrong to be with someone else. You should have been sitting right in front of him.
Slowly, you try to move your eyes in his direction. You paused when you saw that he was staring at you too, unmovable. Are you supposed to smile? Wave? Nod. just nod. You were about to do that when the same woman from the side station walked up to him, covering your view of him.
“Hi, good evening!” you heard her honey-like voice greet him. “I’m Ashley.”
You noticed Taehyung stood up. They shake hands and you don’t really hear the rest of their conversation. You began texting your date,
To +82 65 78** ****
Hi. Where are you?
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You’ve been alone for a while now.
Taehyung noticed. The glass of water on your table is almost empty. The waiter already come back to you a couple of times now. He can see you chewing on your lower lip as you check your phone every minute that passes by.
Did your date just stand you up?
His hands clutched as he thought of that idea. He knew you didn’t deserve that.
“I think this is good! Not too sweet, not too spiced. It’s soft too. Just perfect.” Ashley snapped him from his thoughts.
Taehyung tried to concentrate on what he originally meant to do here, “Yeah… uhm… Jimin, my friend, really tries to balance the texture and taste. It’s his own carrot cake recipe that he worked on before we even had the shop.”
Ashley already had a taste of every cake he brought. Five open Tupperware are on their table, including the cheesecake you love. She began talking about the other cakes and dessert while Taehyung stole some glances at you again. This time, you are on call. You pursed your lips before replying to whoever it was. He can read the disappointment through your eyes as your lips form into a small frown. You sighed before saying, it’s fine, I understand. No problem. 
“Okay, these are really good. I think your products will be a great addition to our menu.” Ashley spoke again. 
Taehyung looked at her with surprise, “Oh, wow. That’s… great.”
Did he just get this deal?
“Yeah, I trusted my chef when he said he had the best Tiramisu in your shop and I’m glad I did. These desserts are perfect and really satisfy my sweet tooth.” She compliments.
Taehyung bowed his head, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Your desserts deserve to be everywhere. Haven’t you guys thought of opening a branch here?” she asked.
“Oh, we’re still figuring things out. We just expanded our main shop in Seoul.” he chuckled.
“Well, I might go there when I visit Seoul.”
“Please do and let us know.” he smiled.
“I will. By the way, the contract is not ready now. But we are definitely having this deal! Can you and Jimin visit here again next week or maybe me and my head chef can visit your shop in Seoul?” Ashley offers.
“I still have to discuss that with my friend.”
“Oh, sure. Sure. Here, we are okay with any decision. Just let us know. You guys have our e-mail and numbers, right?” Taehyung nods. “Okay, I guess… that’s a done deal.”
Ashley stood up and offered her hand. Taehyung stood up too and shook her hand. 
“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled.
While Ashley replied, he stole another glance behind her. That’s when he sees you standing up and walking back to the host at the entrance of the restaurant. The host had an apologetic look on his face as you talked to him. He helped you with your coat. It seems like you’re leaving with your date being a no-show. 
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But I would have to go for now..” Taehyung carefully said.
Ashley smiled, “Oh, of course. Yes. You can go. But one more thing… can you leave these cakes?”
Taehyung chuckled with that, “Of course!”
“Thank you! See you in the contract signing!”
“See you.” 
Taehyung took his coat from his seat and left in a hurry. You were already gone, possibly out of the restaurant. He said thank you to the staff who opened the door for him and he immediately searched around. That’s when he sees you standing, looking down at your phone.
“This one’s just a few minutes away–”
He took a deep breath before saying, “YN?”
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taglist rules
RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]
@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey @annenakamura @taebangtanbabe @shin-ie @prlan @starlight-night0 @teddybeartaetae @http-fayeradise​ @tannies-luv @betysotelo18 @honsoolgloss @aurorathi @paulaaa97 @satisfied18 @telepathytae @talkyoongitome
PERMANENT TAGLIST
@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @ficluvr613 @misshale21
262 notes · View notes
6rookie-writer0110 · 6 months
Text
I don't want to walk anymore alone
Tara Carpenter x Male Reader
Request- Tara Carpenter x male!reader where y/n was stranded on an island for 4 years when he was 12 years old. He had to survive by himself and his parents died. On the island there were mercenaries and y/n had to kill to survive. He came home when he was 16 years old, he came home with scars on his body caused when he was tortured. As well as a bow he used during the island. In the beginning, Tara always kept quiet and never spoke to y/n unless it was necessary.
In the third week of college their professor asked them to do a project in pairs and because they sat next to each other they were paired.
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You couldn't sleep last night and you barely sleep. You sat up on your bed and sighed, then you look at the time.
“It will be a long day” You mumbled.
You have to get ready for class and you take a shower first. After a while of getting ready, you noticed that you have time to get breakfast. You head to a small cafe shop and you are standing in line, thinking about what to buy.
“You are three dollars short,” the worker said.
“Crap, I thought I had enough” She sighed.
You recognized the vote and it's Tara from your class.
“I will pay for it,” You said.
She turns around and she recognized you.
“Oh, hey Y/n. You don't have to pay for it” Tara said.
“I don't mind and you don't have to pay me back,” You said.
“Thank you,” Tara said.
You ordered your coffee and muffin, you paid for everything. You walk out of the cafe shop and you walk to class while drinking your coffee. You sit in class and start to read the chapter and wait for the professor to arrive. Ten minutes later, Tara arrived to class. She sits next to you and you don't say a word. You don't talk to anyone in class and she always sits next to you.
“Hello everyone. I'm going to pair everyone into groups and the grade will be fifty percent toward your final grade. And everyone has to write five pages on the topic. There are no expectations of working alone and the due is three weeks. Tara Carpenter and Y/n will be working together...” The professor said.
Tara looks at you and you don't say a word to her. Class is over and everyone starts to leave and you start to put your books away. Then Tara stands in front of you and you stare at her.
“We should get lunch so we can go over what to do,” Tara said.
“You pick the place,” You said.
You and Tara leave the classroom together. She takes you to a small Italian place and you paid for the food.
“So... I was thinking we write half then we get together and compare notes,” Tara said.
“We should pick the part we would write first,” You said.
“I noticed you don't talk a lot and I never saw you at parties,” Tara said.
“I don't do well at parties,” You said.
You and Tara share food, you mostly listen to her talk. You walk her back to her dorm room and you meet her friends. She noticed you didn't say much, you said bye then walked away.
“Y/n, wait,” Tara said.
“Yes?” You asked.
“Let me get your phone number so we can stay in touch,” Tara said.
“Sure,” You said.
Tara saved your phone number and you did the same. You walk away and head to your dorm room, you changed clothes and start to study. Unexpectedly you get a text from Tara...
Tara- Y/n?
You- yes?
Tara- just making sure you didn't give me a fake phone number
You- I have no reason to lie
Tara- you are something.
You- ok
She didn't text back because she was busy and you didn't text back either. You got tired of studying for long hours and you barely ate, you start to get ready for bed. But it wasn't a peaceful sleep, you have another nightmare. You jumped out of your sleep and you are breathing hard.
----
During class, you and Tara don't talk to each other. Even outside of class, you and Tara barely text each other. But today, you met Tara at the library and start to work on the project.
“Y/n, I'm having a game night at a friend’s place... Maybe you want to come?” Tara said.
“No, thank you. Look, you can write this part but change a few words,” You said.
You give her the book and show her.
“What other part you would write?” Tara asked.
“Why the Roman Empire Collapsed, but I would go into further details,” You said.
“Okay,” Tara said.
You and Tara continued to work together and help each other. You don't talk about yourself and she noticed. After a while, you walk her back to the dorm room. Her dorm room is across campus and it's nighttime.
“Y/n, you don't have to walk me to my dorm room if you don't want to,” Tara said.
“I don't mind. Plus, I heard on the news ghost face is back and I like to walk” You said.
“Thank you,” Tara said.
She is hoping that Ghostface won't hurt you. She goes into her dorm room and you walk to your dorm room.
---
Tara went to meet a friend Mindy.
“I noticed you talking to Y/n,” Mindy said.
“So?” Tara said.
“You don't know, who he is? Tara come on” Mindy said.
“What are you talking about?” Tara asked.
Mindy went on her phone and googled your family. Mindy starts to show Tara, what happened to you many years ago.
“He was on a boat with his parents, but his parents died and nobody knows how exactly they passed away. He was stranded on an Island when he was twelve but he was found until he was sixteen years old. He did interviews but he wouldn't talk about it so much” Mindy said.
“I had no idea, this happened to him,” Tara said.
“Last year, I had a class with him and he didn't speak to anyone. And he doesn't speak about his past or show off. He just goes to class and back to his dorm room. Once I asked him for a pen and gave it to me and that's it” Mindy said.
“He is my partner and we have to write five pages and other stuff. He is nice to me and he only texts me if I have questions on the project” Tara said.
“I'm not surprised. I have never seen another side of him” Mindy said.
“Me too,” Tara said.
✯ ✯ ✯ ✯
You are at Tara’s dorm room studying together.
“Y/n are you free tonight?” Tara asked.
“Yes,” You said.
“Maybe, you would like to come to a party with me?” Tara asked.
“I’m not much of a people person,” You said.
“I know. But maybe, change your routine for a night and you won't be alone, I will be there” Tara said.
“But, other people will be there,” You said.
“Maybe, think about it? I will send you a text later and let me if you will come” Tara smiled.
“Sure,” You said.
You go to know Tara more. You listen to her talk about her favorite movies, but you didn't know any of the movies she was talking about.
“Next time, we will watch the movies together,” Tara said.
“I guess,” You said unsure.
“I know you will like it” Tara smiled.
Later, you leave and Tara is getting ready for the party. She sent you a text and you start to think about what to write back...
Tara- do you want to come to the party with me?
You- ok...? I will go?
Tara - lol. I will take that. I will pick you up in ten minutes.
What I have done, you thought to yourself. You took a quick shower and started to get dressed. Twenty minutes later, you hear a knock at the door and she is smiling at you.
“Ready to go, Y/n?” Tara asked.
“I guess,” You said.
You leave with Tara. She can sense that you are feeling nervous about the party. You and Tara take the train and is packed, and some people have costumes on. Tara noticed Ghostface and she starts to breathe hard and she doesn't want Ghostface to hurt you.
“Tara? Are you okay?” You asked.
She takes out her inhaler and used it.
“I’m... I'm fine, Y/n” Tara said.
She looks around but doesn't see Ghostface anymore.
Once at the party, Tara introduced you to her friends and you don't say anything. You are starting to feel awkward, you walked away and went to get something to drink. You sit on the couch and watch everyone have fun and talk to each other. You don't try to make a friend and you just drink your soda.
Tara noticed you not talking to anyone. She was going to walk toward you but a friend started to speak with her. You get up and head to the door and Tara goes after you.
“Not having fun?” Tara asked.
“No. I feel out of place, but I will wait for you so I can walk you back to your dorm room” You said.
“Y/n, that's so sweet. I don't want to make you wait for me” Tara said.
“I don’t mind. Have fun and I will come later also I saw a pizza shop open” You said.
“You know what, I'm going with you then we can do something else,” Tara said.
“Are you sure? I'm not a fun person” You said.
“Stop doubting yourself and yes I'm sure,” Tara said.
You and Tara left together and walked toward the pizza shop
----
You and Tara have been working hard on the project. You went to her dorm room to study together but you and Tara started to get tired. You end up falling asleep on her bed and she fell asleep next to you. You are having a nightmare, it feels real to you and you're breathing hard. In the dream, you are being chased and you just killed someone.
Tara starts to wake up and she sees that you are having a nightmare. You are mumbling something that she couldn't understand. She starts to shake your arm to wake you up.
“Y/n, wake up. It's only a dream, wake up” Tara said.
You wake up but grabbed her neck, thinking she is the enemy. You feel her fingernails dig deep into your forearm
“Y/n!” Tara yelled.
You snapped out and you noticed what you did. You let go of her and you start to apologize.
“Tara, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I am so sorry” You repeated over and over.
You get out of bed, you rushed to put your books away.
“Y/n, wait,” Tara said.
You run out of her dorm room before she got a chance to say something. You are still breathing hard and you went straight to your bedroom. You grabbed the water bottle from the mini fridge, you drink it fast. Your shirt got wet and you are breathing hard.
The next day, you sent a text saying sorry. Everyone on campus is feeling scared because Ghostface killed two people. Ghost face, threaten to kill you and she didn't want that to happen. She starts to keep her distance from you.
Today in class, Tara doesn't sit next to you. For the project, she doesn't answer your texts, and you already finished your part of the project. After class, you follow her
“Tara... Tara we can talk?” You asked.
“Leave me alone!” Tara yelled.
You didn't say anything back and you watched her walk away. Tara is hoping that you don't hate her for yelling at you. You are starting to feel bad for what you did to her.
Tara did keep avoiding you. You are keeping your distance from her and you don't say anything to her when you are in class or in the hallway. But Ghostface has killed more people again and Tara is feeling scared but doesn't show it around her friends.
✯ ✯ ✯ ✯
Tara is walking back to her dorm room from Mindy’s dorm room. She noticed Ghostface walk by fast then she stopped. The lights down the hall went out and Tara is feeling scared. Tara ran towards the exit but Ghostface jumped out of the shadow and grabbed her from behind. Tara screamed then she headbutts Ghostface in the face.
Now Ghostface starts to chase Tara. Ghost Face tackled her to the ground, almost being stabbed in the face. She managed to stop the attack with all her force, she screams for help.
“Fuck you!” Tara yelled.
You left a place where you can practice archery. While walking back to your dorm room, you see Ghostface trying to kill Tara. You rapidly get your bow out and then grabbed the arrow. You hit Ghostface in the shoulder then he falls off Tara. Then Ghostface struggled to get up, you start to walk closer to them.
“Y/n,” Tara said.
The second arrow hit Ghostface in the leg and Ghostface is screaming in pain. Tara is breathing hard and she is having an asthma attack. You had to make a choice go after Ghostface or save Tara. You run towards Tara, then you search through her jacket and take out the inhaler. You put it in her mouth and pressed down then you move it away.
“Ghostface is gone,” You said and you keep looking around.
You help her stand up
“Thank you, Y/n,” Tara said.
“I’m taking you to the hospital,” You said.
“No!” Tara yelled.
“I’m not going to leave you alone,” You said.
“Fine. I will stay with you” Tara said.
“Fine,” You said.
Tara follows you to your dorm room then you locked the door. You and Tara sit together on the bed.
“Why are you out late?” Tara asked.
“I was at a place where I can do archery. Why are you out late?” You said.
“I was with a friend until Ghostface attacked me. I had to keep my distance from you because I didn't want Ghostface to hurt you. I'm sorry, Y/n I didn't want to drag you into my problem” Tara said.
“I understand, what you had to do to survive. What happened that night, I had a nightmare I didn't mean to hurt you. It felt real to me” You said.
“I believe you, Y/n. We both did things we are not proud of, I killed before” Tara said.
“You had to do it to survive, Tara. Same way, when I was on the island, I had to kill so I can live for the next day. We have both been through traumatic moments but we are still here” You said.
“Yeah, but my mine won't leave me alone,” Tara said.
“Are we comparing?” You asked.
“I guess. Our lives will never be the same” Tara said.
“It won't,” You said.
She stares into your eyes, then you felt her lips on yours. You start to kiss her back and she gently put her hand on your neck and she doesn't stop kissing you back.
----
Months later... You and Tara have been dating in secret. Tara doesn't want her sister to find out. You and Tara have been opening up to each other, you told her what really happen on the island and you had to kill people. But Tara didn't judge you or made you feel about your past, and Tara told you everything about Ghostface. You still don't show a lot of emotions and you are somewhat affectionate with your girlfriend.
“Y/n, you shouldn't be ashamed of your scars,” Tara said.
You took off your shirt and you have scars all over your body.
“I feel insecure,” You said.
She put her hand on your chest.
“Babe, don't feel insecure. We both have scars that we wish would go away. But like what you said, we had to survive. I still find you attractive with the scars” Tara said.
You were about to kiss her but someone knocked on the door.
“Tara, open it's me, Sam,” Sam said.
Tara starts to panic.
“Hide!” Tara whispered.
“Where?” You asked.
You were about to go to the bathroom but she said no. But she made you hide under the bed but you forgot your shirt on the bed. Tara opened the door and Sam walked in.
“What’s up?” Tara said.
“I came to check up on you. Is this your shirt?” Sam said.
Sam grabbed the shirt off the bed.
“Yeah, it's my new shirt,” Tara said.
“Well, it's an ugly shirt. Let's go out and eat” Sam said.
“Oh okay, yeah” Tara stuttered.
Sam goes to the bathroom and Tara looks under the bed.
“Sorry, babe. But I will make it up to you, I promise” Tara whispered.
“It’s okay. I will hold that against you and my shirt isn't ugly, my girlfriend bought me that shirt” You whispered
“I have a cute boyfriend. I will text you later” Tara whispered
Sam comes out of the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” Sam asked.
“I-I dropped my phone under the bed, but I got it. Let's go out to eat” Tara said.
“Yeah. But I'm not in the mood for pizza” Sam said.
They leave the room and you heard the door close. You wait a few minutes then get out of under the bed. You put your shirt on and you head back to your dorm room.
187 notes · View notes
silantryoo · 1 year
Text
midnight rain — huh yunjin x non-idol!reader
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yunjin can't help but reminisce about what she left to achieve her dreams.
WARNINGS ; self-depreciation, cyber-bullying
TAGS ; the huh sisters are the best, y/n is the most supportive gf ever, yunjin sacrificed sm, someone check on y/n, idek if this is a happy ending or not, yunjin using y/n as a coping mechanism tbh
GENRE ; fluff, angst (4.2k)
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huh yunjin had the whole world in the palm of her hands.
there were thousands of people out there, longing for the idol's attention. she could win anyone's heart over, just with a couple words and her goofy smile, but none of them could ever compare to you.
huh yunjin might rule the world, but you still and will always rule hers.
-
yunjin met you right after she had finished produce 48.
she had left korea feeling like a shell of her former self. yunjin had gotten the taste of a dream that she so badly longed for, and one she most likely would never be able to achieve again. she had missed her only chance, and there was no getting it back.
it didn't help that mainland korea had turned its back on the then-aspiring idol.
she had read through the produce forums almost daily since then. yunjin spent hours scrolling, letting every horrible thing said build inside her like a sickly virus.
glad huh yunjin didn't make it. she's a backstabbing bitch. (+193, -21)
did huh yunjin die? i hope so (+86, -7)
i hope huh yunjin never debuts!!!!!!!!! (+273, -11)
huh yunjin knew she was done for.
she went back to new york mid-september a year later, back to the high school that she dreaded going to, another reminder that she will never, ever be who she wanted.
"um," yunjin felt a tap on her shoulder. "you know the school library isn't open twenty-four hours, right?"
"huh?" yunjin wiped her eyes. she glanced at the clock behind the strange girl. 7:12. "shit, sorry. i didn't realize."
"it's fine. i'm closing this place up soon." yunjin watched as the girl's eyes locked onto hers. she could feel her heart in her throat. "you can stay, if you want."
"i want to, uh..." yunjin cleared her throat. "i'll stay."
"okay."
yunjin forgot about everything for a moment.
"okay."
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yunjin was never a studious person.
the girl had decent grades, but she never actually put effort into studying, not like her sister or her friends around her. it came to her naturally, and yunjin had other priorities such as working on her musical skills (something that she had abandoned as soon as she stepped foot on american soil once more).
but a week later, yunjin found herself sitting in front of her younger sister, watching as she did her homework.
"unnie?" her sister, rachel, eyed the brunette weirdly. "why are you here?"
"why?" yunjin stared at the empty desk in front of her, looking around the library to find the others full of papers. "can't i study?"
"no. you can't." rachel tapped her pencil. "you're literally incapable of studying."
"wow, okay." the former trainee scoffed. "i've had a change of heart."
rachel shook her head.
"i get losing in produce sucks, but i don't think you could do a 180 that fast." yunjin winced, rachel opening up fresh wounds. the older huh knew that the girl was just trying to make light of the situation, but it still hurt like hell. "it's been like... three weeks."
yunjin knew it had been three weeks. three weeks, two days, and five hours since she landed back in america. she didn't need rachel to remind her, not when the entire world already had.
"can you shut up?" yunjin snapped, gripping the backpack she was holding on her lap.
the younger huh flinched, the silence of the library amplifying yunjin's aggression.
rachel looked at her sister, yunjin's eyes shut tight as she tried to calm herself down. the young girl had never been good with emotions, but she wanted nothing more than to tell her sister that it was okay to feel upset.
(even if rachel knew yunjin wouldn't listen.)
"oh hey, rach." yunjin's eyes opened, her head turning to the sound of a familiar voice, soothing the former trainee. "what are you doing?"
rachel hummed, setting her pencil down. "working on the assignment from our econ class."
you made your way between the huh sisters, looking at the diligent note-taking of the younger girl to your left.
"why?" you muttered. you were sure that the due date didn't change. "that's due next week."
"no?" you felt your heart drop. "it's due tomorrow."
"oh shit." your eyes widened, covering your mouth. you were screwed. "i need to find nadine."
rachel looked at you with a smile. it was hard to believe that you were only a month younger than yunjin. though yunjin never cared for schoolwork, she was always hardworking when necessary. you on the other hand...
"who was that?"
rachel looked at her sister, yunjin's eyes trained at your retreating figure. "y/n?"
yunjin couldn't help but smile. the name fit you perfectly. "yeah."
"she's my classmate from my AP econ class." rachel squinted. yunjin was a bit too interested in you for it to just be curious. "she's a junior this year... why?"
yunjin's eyes widened, the former trainee's face unable to hide her surprise.
"why are you taking AP?" she tried to change the subject. "aren't you 14?"
"i wanna get into NYU." rachel sighed, picking up the pencil as she bit back multiple remarks that would leave her sister cursing at her. "leave me alone."
yunjin felt a pang in her chest.
it had slipped her mind that she had to think about university now. where she was going to commit, scholarships and loans...
yunjin tried her best to not seem fazed. dreams were meant to be dreamt, not fufilled. the sooner she knew that, the better it was for her.
"you're such a nerd."
"you're literally a theater kid, unnie." rachel bit back, too immersed in her work to notice the mood drop. "you can't talk."
yunjin stared at her sister, hoping that she would never feel that way.
(but in the back of her mind, through all the guilt and anger, she couldn't help but linger at the thought of you).
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yunjin was starting to like the library.
it was quiet, and peaceful (minus the many kids who were scrambling to study for a test in the corner of the library). it let her think about everything, letting her sit in her feelings. plus, the library had the ambiance of the produce practice rooms early in the morning, something that the former trainee greatly missed.
"are you here to read through your phone again?"
yunjin could feel the hairs on her neck stand up. "huh?"
yunjin, eyes trained on your figure, watched as you took a seat across from her.
"you and rach look a lot alike." you said, humming as you set your chin on your hand. "i should've known that you were her sister."
yunjin pushed back a smile.
(she'd never tell anyone, but part of her was worried that rachel no longer looked up to her.)
"she told you about me?"
"she brags about you all the time." you smiled at yunjin's grin. "something about being a kpop idol, i dunno. i'm not good with that stuff."
the former trainee pursed her lips.
"oh, well," yunjin chuckled awkwardly, the awkwardness in her chest starting to change into pain. "i don't think that's gonna happen."
you looked her up and down. "why not?"
yunjin could think of multiple reasons, ones that she had internalized so much that she had changed the way she carried herself, but she wasn't going to say that to a random stanger (much less a hot random stranger).
"it didn't work out." yunjin said.
"oh." you scratched your cheek, yunjin nodding shallowly. "well, it's too soon to tell, y'know? you could be like, the next bts or something."
"how can i be the next bts when i'm one person?" yunjin squinted. kpop was so much more than just bts. "plus, bts isn't the only kpop group out there."
"i know that." you scoffed, rolling your eyes at the girl. "you just seem like someone who likes bts."
yunjin could feel herself blushing.
"...yeah."
"see, i already know you." yunjin looked away, afraid that she'd implode if she looked at your smile. "i just need to know your name."
"my name?" yunjin's mind went blank, nearly spitting out a random name. "jennifer."
"jennifer." you smiled harder. "nice to meet you, jennifer. i'm y/n."
and for a moment, right when yunjin's name rolled off of your tongue, yunjin felt seen.
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yunjin considered herself a lot of things. as of late, most of them had turned overwhelmingly negative, but regardless, she at least knew that she was in tune with her emotions. she, unlike her sister, was able to identify them, and 'fix' them to the best of her abilities.
however, being around you the past couple of weeks you have told her differently.
yunjin knew she liked you. she liked the way you smiled at her, your gums showing through your crooked smile. she liked the way your hands felt, the way your hand would accidentally bump into hers, making yunjin long for more.
you were everything yunjin had ever dreamt of in a person, but she was sure she was just going to mess it up again.
yunjin sighed, forcing herself to stop thinking about you, a common occurrence that had been recently happening lately.
"unnie." rachel tapped her should, causing the older girl to jump.
she turned to the younger girl and her friends, her locker mirror shaking as she slammed it closed. "what?"
rachel's friend, nadine (if yunjin remembered correctly), said, "you're close with y/n right?"
yunjin clenched her jaw, a burst of anxiety running up her spine. had you gotten hurt? was something wrong? yunjin couldn't help but overthink.
"why?" she hummed.
"you guys aren't dating?" rachel asked, yunjin's eyes widening as big as saucers.
"no," yunjin scoffed, a blush covering her face. if only she could. "what?"
rachel looked at the girl beside her as yunjin avoided the younger students' gazes. her older sister was anything but subtle.
"okay." rachel said slowly, watching as yunjin perked up, waiting to hear any information about you. "derek's planning to ask her out, so i just wanted to make sure you don't go all... you on him."
"okay, i don't go all 'me' on anyone." yunjin crossed her arms. perhaps there had been one incident a year ago that almost got her suspended, but that was only because someone had hit on rachel. yunjin took no fault. "wait... derek mcavoy?"
"yeah?"
yunjin felt her stomach sink.
she considered herself many things, passionate being one of them. sometimes, yunjin passion could get in the way of her rational thinking.
"hey, do you guys know who sent me these flowers?" yunjin could hear your voice behind her, getting closer to her. "i think they're trying to kill me."
yunjin clenched her fist.
"aren't you allergic to those?" rachel blinked at you, staring at daisies that were in your hand.
how you weren't dead? she had no clue.
"severely." you sighed, looking at the bouquet in front of you. "i had to take my inhaler."
rachel shook her head, looking at her sister who was staring into the distance, face stoic and eyes glazed over. the younger girl sighed. it was happening.
"jen," you called out to her, bringing her out of her head. yunjin turned to you. "do you think one of your fans reached me?"
yunjin's eyes met yours, hardened and swirling with an emotion that you could only identify as anger and regret. looking over to rachel, she shrugged as yunjin continued to stare into your soul.
yunjin didn't want to live in regret anymore, not when her daily life was already filled with it.
"go out with me."
yunjin had never heard silence in a crowded hallway until that very moment.
"what?"
("unnie?")
"go out with me, y/n." yunjin stated, pushing down the embarrassment threatening to take over her entire body.
("should we be here?")
"uh..." you took a breath, your gummy smile making yunjin overflow with happiness. "okay."
yunjin had never felt happiness like that in her life.
"okay."
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yunjin would be lying if she said she was satisfied with how her life was right now.
she had everything that anyone could want at her age. her grades, although not to ivy league standard, could get her in a good college if she kept her current pace. she had no family problems, and yunjin had always gotten along with rachel.
most of all, she was in a great relationship, celebrating her first valentine's with the girl she had slowly fallen in love with over the past four months.
but it wasn't enough, because this life will never be enough for yunjin.
"oh my god," yunjin smiled, turning her phone off as you entered her room. "is that huh yunjin from produce 48 where iz*one was created?"
although not as strong, yunjin felt a dull ache in her chest.
"you're so annoying." yunjin rolled her eyes, sitting up to greet you with a kiss.
"hey, i got into kpop for you so we could bond as a couple." you teased, humming against her lips. the taller girl smiled. "how am i annoying?"
"i didn't say i hated it." she whispered, moving over to give you a seat. "i missed you."
truthfully, yunjin did miss you, especially the way you made her forget her failures, even if it was just for a moment.
"i saw you yesterday." you teased. you grabbed her hand, smiling at her. "but i missed you too."
you leaned in once more, capturing the girl's mouth against yours. you always felt an overwhelming sense of love whenever you kissed the taller girl, but yunjin always felt a sense of fear. the fear of becoming content with a life like this, a life without doing what she loved.
you pulled away. "me or bts?"
yunjin groaned, guilt simmering in her stomach. "you're the worst."
"i know." you giggled, kissing her cheek.
yunjin sighed, leaning back as she slammed her back onto her bed.
you followed her suit, the short haired girl wrapping her arm around you as you snuggled close into her body.
"tired?" you asked, stroking her hair out of her face.
"this week has been kicking my ass." yunjin knew she had done it to herself, tuning into the japanese tabloids that week to keep tabs on iz*one's debut. "but it is our very first valentines together. plus, i think you're my gift from cupid."
you scoffed playfully, trying to pull away from the ex-trainee. "am i just an object to you, jennifer?"
"hey, no!" yunjin whined, shoving her face into your neck. you giggled, feeling the strands of her hair against your neck. "and don't use my full government name."
"sorry, sorry." you smiled, watching as her eyes looked into yours. "what do you want me to call you instead?"
yunjin thought for a moment, her eyes darting to your mouth. "mine."
your smile dropped, and you pulled away from her, the korean whining at the loss of contact.
"ugh." you sat up, shaking your head. "jesus, jen... that was disgusting."
she gasped, sitting up beside you. "you dated me knowing that i'm like this."
"no." yunjin frowned, and you couldn't help but smile at her adorable face. "i dated you because you're hot."
"wow." yunjin's mouth hung open, trying hard not to smile as you attacked her cheek with kisses as an apology. "so you only love me for my face."
you pulled back, raising your eyebrow. "who said i loved you?"
yunjin stared at you, hearing her heart break slowly.
she knew it wasn't your fault, but yunjin couldn't help but find herself feeling the same way she had at the beginning of the school year.
"i'm sorry, i--"
"i do, though. love you, i mean." you cleared your throat, awkwardly scratching your cheek as you looked at the ground. "i'm just trying to figure out how you know when i literally never told anyone until now."
yunjin smiled at you, taking your features in as if to memorize you.
"i love you too."
yunjin watched as your eyes swarmed with adoration, and nothing had ever scared her so much than the feeling of fulfillment that spread through her chest.
"you do?" you whispered, looking into her eyes, finding nothing but sincerity in them.
but something was off, you could feel it in the air. the way the weight of the room had gotten heavier, almost as if the burden of your girlfriend filled the entire thing.
yunjin looked away, and that was enough to know that deep down, she never wanted to fall in love with you, not like this.
"yeah." yunjin muttered, smiling through her smile. "i do."
you smiled through your pain, wanting nothing more than to feel love instead of regret.
"the famous huh yunjin is in love with me?" you joked, watching as her face morphed into a more playful tone.
"shut up."
"okay." you nodded, wondering how long you had left with her. "only because i love you."
"i love you too."
yunjin had meant every word she said, even if it came with layers of regret.
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yunjin had heard from koeun a month ago that source music had opened back up, this time under new management, a much more competent one.
when the former trainee heard the news, she refused to get her hopes up. she had come to terms with how her life was now. yunjin still felt the what-ifs from time to time, but she couldn't do anything about it, even if she so badly wanted to.
she hid it well from her family, the longing for the spotlight, to perform. they didn't ask her questions about why she would skip dinner, sitting in front of her computer as she waited for a stupid email to pop up.
(you knew, however. and it pained you to know that your girlfriend would never truly be happy with you.)
you pushed it down, waiting for the right time to bring it up to her. you just wished it didn't have to happen today.
"hey, jen. sorry i kept you waiting. your mom tried to force-feed me once i stepped through the door. she thinks you aren't feeding me enough." you laughed as you set your sweater to the side of her room, making your way over to kiss her forehead. "happy six months, baby."
yunjin wiped her face, looking at the monitor of her laptop. "happy six months."
yunjin didn't look at you, afraid that she'd lose everything as soon as her eyes locked onto your eyes.
"what's up?" you wiped her tears. she hung her head low, the light of the monitor illuminating her tear streaks. "you don't look as happy as i do."
yunjin was silent, waiting for you to look at the screen in front of her.
you turned your head, skimming over the english text found in the email. it was bound to happen, and you had tried your hardest to prepare yourself for it. you hoped it was enough to keep the facade up long enough.
"oh, jen." you rubbed yunjin's back, watching as her tears fell harder. "are you going back?"
yunjin shook her head, not wanting to think about it. "i don't know."
"do you want to?"
you already knew your answer a long time ago.
"i don't know." yunjin didn't mean to lie, but she loved you. "i don't want to leave you."
"it's fine." you whispered in her ear, swallowing your tears back. "i'll be fine."
yunjin wrapped her arms around you, her head buried in your neck as sobs wracked her body. she couldn't do it again. she couldn't lose everything she's worked for again.
yunjin couldn't lose you for nothing.
"what if it doesn't go well, and i just ended us for nothing?" yunjin asked in between sobs, gripping the back of your shirt.
"so you want to go?"
yunjin's face fell, pulling back from you as you smiled at her with teary eyes.
yunjin loved your smile.
"baby..."
"it's okay, i promise." you nodded, trying to push through the pain. "you'll be fine. i believe in you."
yunjin shook her head. she didn't deserve it. she didn't deserve your support, not if she's leaving you like this.
"i finally accepted it." yunjin blubbered, too emotional to realize what she said. "i can't go through this again."
you bit your upper lip, looking away briefly. hearing yunjin say it was different from knowing that you were just the second choice.
"i know." yunjin's face was wet with tears, a never-ending flow of remorse. "but you won't, because you'll debut this time."
yunjin shook her head. "how do you know that?"
"because you're jennifer huh. you're the girl who came back here, fighting to be okay again even though deep down you knew that it wasn't what you wanted." you kissed her nose, watching as her nose crinkled at the contact. you smiled. "you're the girl i'm in love with."
yunjin felt a weight lift off of her shoulders.
"i'm in love with you too." yunjin sniffed. "i don't want to leave you."
you looked into yunjin's eyes, and you saw nothing but passion, passion for you.
if there was one thing that you loved yunjin, it was her overwhelming sense of passion. but at times like these, you hated it.
you watched her for a moment.
"then i'll leave you."
"what?" yunjin's eyes widened, moving her hands onto your arm. "no."
"you want us to make it work?" you asked her, almost challenging her at the ridiculous thought.
you two were high school kids, two girls who fell in love because of a missed opportunity, an opportunity that yunjin was willing to jeopardize for you.
yunjin could feel her fears coming true.
"i..."
"baby, what are they gonna think once they find out about us if we even manage to make it through until your debut?" you told her, furrowing your eyebrows.
"i don't know."
yunjin looked at you through the thick silence, almost as if she was trying to memorize you one more time.
"it's a good thing we're both private people, huh?" you chuckled, the knot in your throat becoming bigger. "imagine all the people you'd have to pay off. i mean, you guys are rich but st--"
"can you not?" yunjin whispered. "please?"
"sorry." you cleared your throat, looking away as tears were starting to form in your eyes (not yet. please.). "do you want me to go?"
"no." yunjin said with sincerity. "i just want to spend one more day with you."
yunjin stared at you desperately pleading for you to agree. she just needed to hold you one more time, to listen to your voice. she just needed one more day to memorize you before she lost you.
"okay."
one day was enough for you, even if you'd love her for the rest of your life.
"okay."
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you untangled yourself from her at three in the morning the next day, eyes bloodshot and arms tired from holding her as if she was going to disappear.
you wiped your eyes, and placed your forgotten sweater on her desk, tucking a piece of paper in the pocket.
you were going to break soon, and you didn't want yunjin to see the broken pieces she'd leave in new york.
looking at the girl once more, you gave her one more kiss on the forehead, hoping that she'd remember you with only happiness and love.
you left yunjin's room, clenching your mouth as you tried your best not to sob.
"y/n?"
"night, rach." you tried to walk away, the younger girl following you to the door.
rachel looked at you with a frown, watching as you struggled to put your shoes on. "are you okay?"
you looked up at her, your eyes red as you smiled. you haven't heard someone ask that in a while.
"no." you grinned, the tears streaming down your face betraying you.
"thank you for doing this for unnie." rachel said, watching as you stiffened up. she wished she could do something more, but this wasn't her expertise. "it's probably killing you."
"i'll be fine." you whispered, standing up to face the girl.
"come study with me later?" she asked, a small smile on her face.
you hated how much rachel looked like her sister.
"okay." you patted her shoulder, rachel opening the door as you fished for your keys. "thanks rachel. you would've made a good sister-in-law."
rachel winced. not at the comment, but at the way your face morphed into an emotion she had yet to feel.
"you too."
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"yunjin-ah!"
yunjin groaned as chaewon yelled at her from across the dorm. no matter how hard she tried to rest, there was someone who always needed something from her.
"you know that hoodie i was gonna borrow?" yunjin grunted, earning a smack on the head from chaewon. the taller girl looked up, staring face to face with an old piece of paper. "this fell out of it."
"huh?" yunjin didn't remember leaving anything in her pockets.
chaewon hopped on the couch, sitting beside her roommate.
"it's a letter." yunjin knew your writing anywhere.
"oh?"
dear jen,
i'm rooting for you, jen. just like i always have and just like i always will be.
i love you, jen l/n y/n.
"who's y/n?"
"someone." yunjin whispered, memories suddenly flooding her brain. "you can't wear that hoodie though, that one's special."
chaewon whined. "why?"
"you can't." yunjin stated, chaewon watching closely as she hummed, the taller girl having a small smile on her face. "now, let's go get food."
"you're so weird."
i love you too, y/n.
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silan says " pls pray for me... i cannot fail my final ;-; "
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vide0-nasties · 4 months
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THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME EMILY @lemon-bats 🥰🥰
1. Were you named after anyone?
To the best of my knowledge no, at least for my real name! My internet name, Rags, I actually just ended up snagging from one of my OCs - a washed up rockstar named Cosimo Ragatz, who was a recovering drug addict that founded an indie record label with his wife.
2. When was the last time you cried?
Oh god, it was some time last week?? So much real life stuff had piled up and I think it was honestly some kind of mini-break or smth, god only knows. But I’m feeling better now lol.
3. Do you have kids?
ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOT LMAO. My mom passed when I was young and I raised my younger siblings, I’ve done my time in the child rearing mines and I’m never doing it again.
4. What sports do you play/have you played?
For a really long time I rode horses and I was a really good three day eventer. I also really loved archery and swimming. I also rode dirt bikes too, and I’d love to get back into it!! 🥰🥰
5. Do you use sarcasm?
Yes indeed!! But I’m not sure that I use it as much as I used to. Not for any particular reason, I don’t think dgheh.
6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
I’m boring and predictable and I pretty much always notice height first 😂😂 I do also notice face shapes and noses, though!!
7. What’s your eye color?
Dark brown that leans pretty close to black dfhjd.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
Each have their own benefits and negatives!! A time and a place for everything 👏👏
9. Any talents?
I’m a good writer, and I’m pretty good at accents! I also like to think I’m the funniest asshole in any given room at any time 😂😅
10. Where were you born?
Commonwealth of Virginia babeyyyyy 🦩 there aren’t cardinal emojis, but I’m still barely south enough to be southern lol.
11. What are your hobbies?
I like posting video games, writing, playing dnd, a lil bit of digital art. Painting my nails. Dfhjd. Running outta stuff here, uhhhh. Panicking trying to remember my meds, but that’s more a full time occupation lol.
12. Do you have any pets?
Four dogs (a cocker spaniel, a border collie, a pit bull, and a boxer lab 🥰🥰), some barn cats, and a little grade paint horse named Rooster who’s a complete ASSHOLE.
13. How tall are you?
5’6” or 5’7”, it depends on how tall I want to feel that day dghjd
14. Favorite subject in school?
History and English!!! I really wanted to be a historical researcher for a career when I was in school and I still think about it. I would’ve liked to study Appalachian history from pre-Civil War to present.
15. Dream job?
LOL 😂😂 historical researcher, possibly an author, or a rare and antique jewelry shop owner siiigh. I really fell in love with fine jewelry at my last job, and I would DIE to be able to do it again, but in a much more niche fashion.
No Pressure tags: @smoggyfogbottom @brilliantblasphemer @dotcie @kastlequill @skinnyazn @snail-eggs @lunarvicar @siriusleee 💖💖
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awesomedurraworld · 3 months
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some of my Fullmetal alchemist headcanons: Elric Brothers edition
Edward experienced favoritism in his childhood, he was often met with the lines that he is the older brother and wasn't allowed to act in the same way Alphonse did. Which led him to act out most of the time.
Trisha’s main caregiver was Edward, since the Rockbells couldn't help her full time and Hoho wasn't there. Edward learned everything that his mother did in order to run the house while she was bonded to the bed.
Ed blames himself for Trisha’s death because he fell ill with a cold two weeks before her death. She pushed herself to take care of him and that made her body weaker which lead her to pass away.
Because of that Alphonse when he gets angry, he screams that their mom’s death wasn't their father’s fault but Ed’s
Yuri Rockbell was the closest one to the boys after their mother’s death, he took it upon himself to make sure that they were taken care of and had enough money and all their living needs, he also made sure to spend time with them every day.
After Yuri’s death, Edward and Alphonse were alone, they didn't have enough money to pay for bills and electricity or buy food which lead them to steal sometimes.
When they got caught, Edward will always take the blame, which left the whole village to say that Edward was a brat and a bad boy while Alphonse was the total opposite.
When families from cities come to look for orphans to adopt, and they visit Resembool where all the orphans will line up hoping that they get adopted- the Elric brothers were never wanted- sometimes families choose Al who refuses to go without his brother.
Edward and Al, although close to their granny, she abused them mentally, and sometimes on occasion, physically. They didn't know that was abuse until after they started to work under Mustang.
Alphonse finished only 3ed grade ( while Ed first grade since he dropped out to help his mom.) before they went to study under Izumi for a year before they were kicked out from her home and they made their way back to Resembool.
They tried to bring their mom at ages 10 and 9 ( instead of 10 and 11.) and of course that failed. They ended up living with the Rockbells for 6 months before Major Mustang found them.
Edward joined the military before he turned 12. He was 11 and some and his first birthday after he joined was the 12th.
Both brothers idolized the Colonel, subconsciously or consciously. Since he was their legal guardian, Edward’s commander and the adult who was stable in their life, it just seemed to fit.
Edward is short because as a child he didn't get to eat well, therefor his body did not grow well- unlike Al who ate his meal and Ed’s ( Ed used to give him his meals because let's face it, Ed is dumb like that.) he dislikes being called “ small.” because his mom used to nickname him her small man. So when people make fun of his height, they make fun of his mother’s nickname.
Edward’s harsh, angry, loud and impolite personality comes from two points, the first being not having guides growing up. Maybe Al is considered more polite but really, Ed raised Al while raising himself. Al is just sweeter and is shy and he doesn't put the angry mask on like Ed. And the only reason Ed does have it on is to protect himself and his little brother.
Al calling Ed “ big brother.” or “ brother” more than by his first name because Al sees Ed as an adult if that makes sense? Those names are titles, just like when he called Trisha “mom” that is her title. Ed’s title is “ brother.” because Al can't call him mom or dad so he just sticks to their relation.
Ed’s red jacket was inspired by the colonel’s black one. We see Ed coming to the state exam and receiving his watch while he wears all black- I bet He saw Colonel looking cool with the black coat and since he doesn't want anyone to think he is copying his CO, he went with the red jacket instead.
At the start of his millitry career, Ed refused to sleep and eat to the point he developed disorders. He genuinely thought he deserved to live the same way Al was living- Thankfully he had the whole team Mustang catching him and helping him get better and receive help.
Speaking of team Mustang, they are all just a family to each other, and that includes the Elrics! The boys viewed the men ( Jean, Haymans, Vato, and Maes.) as their uncles, since they acted like ones and it just felt right thinking about them as If they were uncles. Kain being younger and closer to their age, Ed and Al saw an older brother in him. Riza took a longer time for them to see her role in their life, before it dawned on them after a couple of years how much motherly she is towards them, it wasn't the same way as Trisha or Izumi, but Riza was their mom too. As for Roy he was the father they needed but had the hardest time admitting that since the word “ Father and Dad” meant HoHo. Eventually tho, both brothers found happiness in these titles.
Ed’s foodie personality continued even after the promised day. Starving for days as a child made His body always wanting to eat more than a normal person's because it is scared it will go through starvation again.
Sure Ed and Al are close but you bet they still fight like normal siblings on normal things- like who get to sit in the shotgun seat or the upper bunk in the bed or gets to do that one chore.
Ed grew his hair as a promise to Al. He burned the house as a promise as well. The house one so he won't quit and go home and the hair as a reminder, he will not cut it until Al can cut his hair too. So that day when Al got his hair cut after PD, and Edward got one too.
Ed and Al went back to Resembool. They both took a year break before Ed joined the military again as a research state alchemist after Roy was able to pull a few strings, that way Ed could research alchemy and get well paid in order to get Al into a university.
When Roy knew that was Ed’s goal, he surprised him with the fact that he will pay for both of their educations. Saying that “ both of my kids deserve the best education. You did plenty for your bother, let me now carry that burden.”
Alphonse stuided Biochemistry and then traveled to Xing, to learn Alkheasty.
Edward studied physics and engineering ( double majoring!!) he started playing with the idea If humans could fly using vechails ( I like to think he started sketching airplane.) After he finished his studies and traveled around for few months, he proposed to Winry.
Alphonse and Mai decided that they will play as the aunt and uncle in the family as they weren't ready to be parents yet with their lifestyles.
Edward and Winry had 6 kids and Ed was a stay at home dad while Win countined her ever-growing business.
Roy adopted the Elrics, but no one really mentions that. It was after the PD, as a promise that he will still take care of them and look after them even when they left the army, and that they will always have a place with him- all the good parental things.
Ed’s kids are named after important people or things in life. Like his oldest, a boy is named Yuri Roy Elric, honoring both of Win and Ed’s dads. And so on with the rest of their children.
Alphonse gave his gate to Ed as a birthday gift, since he stopped using it and just saw it a fitting after everything Ed did to him.
Edward when he shared that with Roy and how he has his alchemy back, he became a soilder again, “ Colonel Elric.” and became Roy’s bodyguard ( since Hawkeye and him got married.) and Roy’s secret weapon. No one knowss that Ed has his alchemy again so he always took his enemies by shock.
Alphonse lives in Xing and is a honorable member of the royal family.
Ed opened the gate and exchanged his automail leg with his arm. It was painful getting a new port, but for his new bodyguard gig, it seemed like the best choice, since his arm is his weapon.
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swiftieblyth · 3 months
Text
Troublesome Twin
Part Two: The Reaping
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Warning list-
hunger games warning, abusive family, mother died in childbirth with the twins, Arachne, Coriolanus Snow, Dr. Gaul, violence, and murder.
I think that’s all, let me know if there’s more!
Word count- 1036
“How tantalizing to see all your shining young faces on this auspicious day,” Dr. Gaul stated. “I am Dr. Volumnia Gaul, your humble Head Gamemaker, in charge of the War Department and all its affiliated concerns. I have broken from my laboratory today to examine you.” She explained, looking directly at Y/N, making her shiver and squeeze Coryo’s hand in hers. “The leaders of the next generation. I won’t be around forever, after all.” She laughed. “And now, to end that, I am honored to introduce to you the creator of the Hunger Games themselves. Dean Casca Highbottem. 
“Uh,” Dean Highbottem let out, stopping to take a sip of his morphling before making his way to the front of the room. “Select students, faculty, and, of course, Dr. Gaul, I have summoned you all here today for the 10th annual Reaping Ceremony in which we choose two children from each district to throw into the Capitol Arena to fight to the death in the Hunger Games.” 
“I can’t believe they still allow him to speak in public,” Clemmie whispered to Coryo and Y/N.
“And here sit our own 25 top prospects all waiting to hear the results of hard study in this prestigious institution. Eager to learn who’s won the Plinth Prize, no doubt. And a golden future. However,” Highbottem’s words made both Coryo and Y/N catch their breaths, holding eachothers hands as tight as they could. I am here to tell you that there has been a change this year. One final assignment to prove your worth. Because the esteemed citizens of the Capital have grown bored of the Games and simply aren't watching anymore. And if the Games are to continue at all, there must be an audience. So, Head Gamemaker Dr. Gaul has stepped in to… incentivize patriotic values with her own unique flair, starting with you. The Plinth Prize will no longer be determined by who has the best grades. But by who is the best mentor in the Hunger Games.”
“What?” The students all asked. 
Y/N looked over and saw Coryo sitting in disbelief at Dean Highbottem. 
“This is a brand new role. As the Reaping progresses live, I will allocate each district tribute a Capitol mentor behind the scenes, one who must just persuade them to perform for the cameras. Obviously, the best mentor will be the one whose tribute wins the Games.”
“What if I get a pathetic runt girl from one of the poor districts, like 8 or 12? They’re just gonna die in two minutes like they did last year and the year before.” Arachne asked.
“Your role is to turn these children into spectacles, Ms. Crane. Not survivors.” Highbottem explained. “Victory in the Games is only one of our considerations. Your entire future rests on this last project.”
“Wait,” Y/N let out, gaining everyone's attention. “There are only 24 tributes, and 25 of us.”
“Right you are, Miss. Crane. There will be one unlucky student that won’t even have a chance at the prize.”
“Well, don't you think that's extremely unfair?” Y/N stated. “You called 25 students here when you only need 24, don’t you see how ridiculous that is? To give hope to 25 students when really on 24 have a chance. How are you even going to pick said ‘unlucky’ one, huh? Are you just going to let the bottom of the 25 go, or are you going to select it at random. Or maybe even choose your least favorite student, because it’s all about you isn’t it? It’s all about you and not at all about any of your students who have worked night and day, sick and healthy for this! Students who–”
“Love,” Coryo whispered, stopping her. “You gotta stop before something happens.”
“You should listen to your friend, Miss. Crane. Wouldn’t want someone beating you for it later,” Highbottem stated, making Coryo have to hold on tighter to Y/N to contain her. “Oh, and I must tell you that anyone caught cheating to give their tributes an unfair advantage… will just have no future at all.” Music started playing, gaining everyone's attention for the reaping. “Oh! Here we go. Let the Reaping Ceremony begin.”
Highbottom started reading the list making Coryo and Y/N sit nervously as they waited to hear their names. When they got to the last name they knew what fate awaited them. There was only one more tribute left and she wasn’t enough to get the money for whoever got her. 
“Oh. You’ll be happy about this, Miss. Crane,” Highbottom called to Arachne. “The ‘runt girl’ from District 12, she belongs to Coriolanus Snow. Which means. That you, Miss. Y/N Crane are the unlucky one.”
“I should have known.” Y/N spit. “We all know that Coriolanus and I aren’t at the bottom. Coriolanus is at the top, but you treat him as if he is 24 and I am 25 because we are your least favorite! You hate us so much that you decided to make one of us not have a tribute and the other one of us to have a girl who doesn’t even have a chance of surviving in that arena!” Y/N was cut off by the doors slamming open, and her father along with some of his servants storming into the room.
Y/N already knew what was coming and didn’t try to fight it. She looked at Coryo who knew as well until she was lifted by the arms and carried out of the building. 
          “What were you thinking?” Mr. Crane yelled, slapping Y/N across the cheek when they got to their house. “You disrespected the dean, you disrespected Dr. Gaul, you disrespected your classmates, and you disrespected Panem!” He yelled each word in between a punch to her face, making bruises already starting to form. “You embarrassed your name, your sister, your brother, me, and you embarrassed your mother!”
       “Mother’s not here!” Y/N yelled, tears forming in her eyes as she tasted the metallic taste of blood.
        “And whose fault is that?” Mr. Crane yelled, pushing her to the ground of her bedroom, closing the door and locking it.
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sakuraryomen01 · 10 months
Text
Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Reader/ .o8
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warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, some light teasing, more tutoring sessions, and Sukuna punches a pervert!
reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.
plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..
words: 1.125k
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fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20
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a/n:: I've felt mentally drained so I'm going to finish this dang chapter holy frick did this take so long :D
. . .
Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy! ❤️
. . .
Sleep didn't come easy to you, and it was expected. Seeing Sukuna in his vulnerable state, having him confirm a small doubt in your mind, and having Shoko spur on your aching heart.
It was a hard pill to swallow, but you needed to force it. You can't force someone to love you back.
Sukuna had his reasons, and it didn’t concern you in the slightest. You told yourself that as much as possible when you felt the need to say something to him after lessons and classes, or do simple things like ask about his day. When you wanted to ask, you bit your tongue and stayed silent. Sticking to the normal day to day chit chat between classmates.
Don’t bug him more than you already do. You say to yourself as you lift your fist up and knock on the door a few times.
There was a quiet "enter" from his side of the door, and when you did as told you didn't see Sukuna in the living room or kitchen like normal.
"Sukuna?" You asked, confusion filling your brain. You continued to wander around the dorm until Sukuna's bedroom door opened up, revealing a disheveled man.
His hair a mess, t-shirt lopsided and somewhat dirty, and boxers on full display. You quickly averted your eyes, trying to save Sukuna his dignity. "Hello to you too."
He waved before heading into his bedroom to change and look cleaner. Moving yourself to your usual space on the couch, you pulled out your things and started flipping through a notebook.
There was almost no noise, besides the random grunts of Sukuna shuffling through his things. Even your thoughts going quiet and jumbled with the notes in your book. Writing things down and not noting the shadow being cast over you by Sukuna.
"Hey, what're you working so hard on?" His voice broke your train of thought, making you look up at him.
"Uhm, tutoring?" You responded, a questioning tone in your voice. "Why?"
Sukuna sighed, resting his cheek against his fist, maroon eyes scanning your figure. "Don't you wanna have fun instead?"
The question catches you off guard and you chuckle, patting his knee in an almost loving manner. "I don't think you should have fun until you get better grades."
"God, you sound like my mother!"
You crinkle your nose as Sukuna's rather modest laughter fills the air. It had been a while since you saw a smile.
With a sigh, you straightened your posture and started to the session, seeing Sukuna's eyes begin to glaze over in a bored pout. You didn't like doing much studying either, but keeping your grades up mattered to you.
Sukuna knew this, watching you diligently work with him to help. So determined..
——
"..How are your parents?" He asked, his eyes lazily looking towards you.
It had been an hour since the tutoring had started that day, and Sukuna's mind was elsewhere. It was dull, the schedule he has wrapped himself into. It was the same thing everyday, seeing the hundreds of students around campus and ending up stuck in his dorm with you.
Talking about equations and random stuff he was already familiar with became tedious. Even though he was willing just to see you.
Never say that out loud though.
"Oh, they're fine," You answered, a slightly confused look on your face as you tapped the cap of your red pen on the notebook.
Sukuna raised a brow, scooting himself closer into your space, a small smile on his face. "That's not specific enough. I wanna know how they're doing."
I just told you– "Well, my dad's working on some project for the house apparently. He wanted to make a garden for it."
"Your dad's still the plant guy, huh?"
You pout your lips as Sukuna's curled into a smirk. "Not always. He got into sports cars for some reason, even though he's a planet health guy."
Sukuna chuckles at this before starting to write a few things down in his notebook. You grumble with a slightly warm flush filling your cheeks. Either way, you couldn't really complain much, his smirk made you feel warm inside.
"Are you done with the questions I gave you?" You asked, leaning your head over and bumping your cheek against Sukuna's shoulder.
"Yeah, the last one stumps me though.."
After teasing him for a few moments about his blunders and getting side eyed for the next twenty minutes, you eventually were able to explain the problem before Sukuna pointing out how late it had gotten.
"I could order a pizza and you just sleep over again." He said as he put away his things, placing a hand on his hip. "It'd be best, this dorm is filled with shit drunk guys."
"Aw, you're so sweet," You responded, lifting your bag over your shoulder strap while hiding all the giddy cuteness inside you. "But it's just a five minute walk to my place. I'll be fine!"
There was a hostile look of discontent in his maroon eyes that read: How dare you say no to me?
A confused shiver was sent down your spine before you sighed and pat Sukuna's arm, heading towards the door. "I'll text you when I get home, promise."
Letting out a small grunt, Sukuna eventually caved and you went home. Although he did threaten that he'll give you a stern talking to if he didn't get a text.
He's got more layers than an onion.*
Though, as you made your way home, you bumped into someone. His hair was messy, sunglasses barely hanging onto his head with his hair pushed back, and pants dirtier than your crustiest sock. But his pink cheeks and glossy eyes didn't betray you in recognizing one of your weirdest friends to date.
"Satoru? What are you doing out?" You place a hand on the males exposed forehead and humming to yourself. "..Are you high, drunk, or sick?"
With a delayed reaction, a hiccup, and a pout, you got this. "My girl, you're judgy so muchy~ Let me life without demands!"
You raise a brow and scoff. I know he'll regret this drinking in the future.
"Fine, but I have to go home now," You say, patting the disheveled mans shoulder, a smile on your face. "Don't trip walking up those stairs!"
But as you said goodbye, Gojo leaned in and placed a soft peck on your cheek with surprising accuracy. You blink in confusion as Gojo smiles loosely and pets your head. "Don't hurt yourself either, Miss best friend chaser!"
Before words could process, or a thought was able to work the cogs in your headspace, there was a grunt and a very big "someone's jaw might have gotten broken" sound.
. . .
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a/n: hope you guys have been doing well! srry i haven't posted in almost two months maybe really, so many things came up. I was worried about mental health for a while, wasn't feeling motivated to write much but then smthing else happened. Huge changes are happening so we might end up with another writer's drought lmao (I'm going to college soon and do adult things ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙;;;)
*and if u didnt get the reference I'll scream*
Chapter Song Theme:
— Ariana Grande - God is a woman (Lyric Video)
taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us, @gumis-girl, @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-n-l0ve, @jiordeci
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