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#although simple sentences are pretty much the only thing I can understand at the moment
jungwondazed · 6 months
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happy 21st birthday to the one and only sim jaeyun
18+ only. perv!jake / jake touches himself while you are asleep on the phone
jake sighs and leans back against his bed frame with a thud. it was only the second missed call but he was growing impatient. he glances at his clock and wonders to himself if perhaps you were already asleep, pressing the call button one more time just incase you weren’t. 
on the last ring you finally picked up, although with the rustling noises in the back and the way your “hello” was barely audible, he was right with his assumption earlier. 
“oh, uh ___, hey! i’m sorry, i didn’t realize how late this was, if you’re asleep, i can call you back later” jake blurts out in one breath, face palming himself at how of course you would be asleep at midnight but in his slight defense, it was a friday night. 
there was a lot more rustling and crinkling of clothes or bed sheets or whatever it was, before you speak up again, still barely audible. 
“mmm? jakeee? hmm, s’ late, ’s going on”
jake’s jaw drops at how much raspier your voice is, and how slow you are with your sentence. he’s never quite heard anything like this from you as you were always so put together, but with the way you sounded in this moment he couldn’t help but let out a breath. 
“nothing important, i just wanted to ask you about this assignment that’s due next week. go back to sleep alright? i’ll ask another time. ”
in the time he spent processing all of that, you were already back to sleep, not conscious enough to end the phone call. 
“um, _________?” he whispers, a bit nervous to wake you up again. 
“_____, are you there?” he tries one last time, letting out another sigh before moving his thumb to hit the end call button, stopping right when he thinks he hears something. 
the device being close to your face allowed your phone’s microphone to pick up everything, from your soft breathing to the calm sighs you would let out every few seconds. jake bites down on his lip at the realization of how intimate this sounded and his ears turned red hot. he doesn’t understand why this was anything worth listening to, but he couldn’t deny liking it. 
there was something undeniably attractive at how soft and steady your breathing was. with every exhale it felt like your voice was slightly caught in your throat, as if struggling to do something as simple as breathing. jake’s mind went on to think about other stuff, other things you could possibly struggle to take. he shakes his head at a perverted thought like that, and curses himself in his head to dare think of you in that way.
admitting you weren’t attractive to begin with would’ve been a foolish lie. you caught his eyes the moment he first saw you, but as respectful as he is, he’s not the type to make moves or ask girls out just because they were pretty. jake enjoyed your company, he liked being around you, studying with each other late at night in those libraries, and sometimes grabbing dinner together although with other friends of course. he steals glances at you when you aren’t looking, and rarely does he check you out, just out of fear for being caught. being a gentleman is his biggest priority, so the dilemma of listening to your innocent breathing over the phone on a friday night makes him run his hands through his hair and tell himself he’s being ridiculous. 
but you just sound so good and he has no idea what to do with this. he’s never laid a hand on you let alone make a move, so why was this such a turn on for him? maybe it’s because there was always a deep attraction he had towards you and doing absolutely nothing about it is making something as simple as this, drive him crazy. he wonders how you look right now, what you’re wearing, the position you’re in. he questions if you have anything on at all, or if you only had panties on, or just a t-shirt, and only that. 
he breathes out a “fuck” a little louder than he intended and he hears you rustling a bit, fearing that he accidentally woke you up. jake almost loses it when you let out a quiet moan, almost a whimper. you sound so good he doesn’t know what to do with himself. he lets out another sigh of distress, wanting to do so much to himself he doesn’t even realize how horny it sounds until his hands slowly rub his thigh, debating on whether this was something he should do. you continue to let out soft innocent whines every once in awhile, probably in the middle of a nightmare that makes jake want to come over there and hold you close so there would be nothing to disturb you. he presses his lips together, closing his eyes, unsure if this was something he’d regret. 
a whimper sounds from jake’s phone and it was the last straw before his hands finally brushed over the aching hardness under his pajama pants. his teeth bite down on his lips to quiet himself as much as possible, rubbing himself gently because he was beyond sensitive at this point. the phone laid right on his chest so he could hear every breath of yours, stroking himself through his clothes to picture you sleepily grinding on him. he thought about the shape of your body, how you would look on top of him, the face you’d make when you were so desperate to cum yourself. jake thought about these things often, but he would never admit it to himself even. 
“god, ____” jake almost moans this out, unable to control whatever comes out of his lips when he feels so damn good. he pulls his boxers and pants down to his knees and starts stroking himself fully, using his dripping pre-cum to slick himself up. he’s throbbing for you, and he doesn’t care how ridiculous this looks. the fantasies that he makes up in his head is nothing compared to hearing you right then and there. if this is how you sound when sleeping, he could only imagine the noises you’d make when he’s deep in you. could you even take it? he asks himself, groaning at the image of his tip barely making it in your cunt. he’d stretch you out for hours if you wanted it that slow, or force it in if you liked it that way too. whatever it was, jake wanted so badly to feel you on him right now. bouncing up and down, with your hands rested on his chest to guide yourself in whatever way you needed. 
his breathing is fast and deep, the phone on his chest rises and falls with every pump of his fist. the room is silent with the exception of the squelching noises and his effort to be quiet. whispers fall from his lips, promises of making you feel so good, breeding you until you tell him to stop, filling you up with his cum your stomach is full by the end of the night. 
“fuck, fuck ___, wanna cum so bad right now,” he’s close, a bit hesitant to keep going because when he cums he’s not one to make it quiet. his fist doesn’t stop regardless of the worries, stroking from the base all the way to his tip. he thumbs over the slit of his penis every once in awhile and he winces, never getting used to how sensitive that part is. jake feels himself getting closer and closer, the stress of not wanting to wake up paired with how fucking good it feels allows pathetic whimpers from his mouth and he doesn’t have any time to make a rational decision before he pumps himself three more times and shoots his cum all over his abs, some spots making it to his chest. 
“shit, i’m fucking cumming all over you ___, cumming all fucking over you” he moans out, his sticky seed landing right on the phone yet he keeps going, milking himself far longer than he usually would. his hands slow but he keeps that same base to tip stroke, biting his lip so hard he thinks he tastes a bit of the blood on his tongue. he cums so hard he feels it in every part of him, wishing it could always be this good. 
when he reaches past the point of overstimulation, his head falls back with a thud, all the air he held in while cumming exhales loudly, catching his breath after dropping his hand to his side. the room looks like it’s spinning, never having been this exhausted from simply masturbating. he looks down, seeing the cum that he painted his abdomen with and grins slightly to himself, before lowering his body back down to the pillow, closing his eyes before he knows it. 
that night jake dreams of you, flashes of you touching his arm, seducing him in a way he’s never seen you like before. you’re all over him, kissing his entire body, grinding on every bit you see to get yourself off. 
“jake,” you breathe out and he brings his hand to your face, thumb tracing the cheekbones of your skin before leaning in to kiss you. 
“jake,” you say again, to which he responds with a lazy “hmm?”
“jake,” you blurt out much louder and jake shoots up awake, his head searching his room for wherever the hell that sound came from.
“jake? hello?? why are we on call right now?” jake freezes, shaking his head, in complete denial that it was your voice coming from his phone. 
“and why has it been going on for 8 hours?”
his jaw drops, looking down at his pants still pulled down his legs, before closing his eyes and pulling at his hair, a hundred different explanations running through his mind. 
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1moreff-creator · 9 months
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Matching the DRDT Characters with their Roman Numeral Quote (LGI MV)
So, I immediately fell in love with newest Literature Girl Insane MV, and I have to drop everything I’m doing just so I can talk about it. Although there is so much to discuss I don’t even know where to begin, one thing which immediately caught my eye was the crosswords which flashes on the screen for a moment.
As many have figured out, it’s made up of the names of everyone in the cast, plus Mai Akasaki, minus David. As the footnote on “Now” says, it’s better to use full names instead of nicknames (such as Julia instead of J) and to exclude the protagonist of the MV.
Here’s the solution by raspbeyes, who I believe may have been the first person to upload it to Tumblr.
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However, what’s really interesting is that, by the nature of a crosswords, it connects all characters with a Roman numeral. And these Roman numerals show up throughout the video, attached to different sentences. That way, you can connect the characters to these sentences. And so, you get some pretty interesting stuff. With that in mind, I went through and collected all the Roman numerals (it’s not very difficult, apart from one exception), and I wanted to share my thoughts on them.
Now, the numbers don’t actually show up chronologically for the most part, and the only real logic they seem to follow is “they show up after the crossword flashed on screen”. I’ve decided to list them in the order of the actual number instead of the chronological order, as I don’t find the latter to be very important (apart from one case).
That said, I will actually start by number two, since number one is a bit of a special case. You’ll see. For now:
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II - Rose ~ Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum
We have some latin to kick things off! “Ego cogito ergo sum” is the ever famous “I think therefore I am” philosophy, but in latin! This phrase (from what I understand) claims that the only thing we can be truly and absolutely sure exists, is our own reasoning and consciousness. This fits Rose decently well, as she’s established her photographic memory causes her trouble separating what’s real, what’s a memory, what’s a dream, etc. Even more so, it sorta fits with the song “Cartoons” from the now vanished character playlist, which some theories placed as Rose’s.
However, there is also the addition of “turbatus” to the saying. Turbatus, from a quick Google search, means something like “disturbed”. Thus, the full meaning is something like “I think, therefore I am disturbed”. This fits Rose even better, considering her scene with Teruko and Nico in the dress-up room. Don’t think I have to go too far in explaining this one.
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III - Charles ~ If you doubt brittle things are broken
So, is this about his dead brother he doesn’t remember? As in, “if you doubt your memories, as they’re brittle, they’ll break? Or is this talking about the relationships between the cast? “Distrust will lead to our collapse”, sorta fits the talk he had with Teruko early in chapter 2.
However, I actually lean more towards the brother thing, because of the blue, long quote which is flipped upside down on top of the image.
“And now here’s my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”
So, here’s where the Roman numerals become sorta weird. Does this count as part of Charles’ quote or not? I assume it’s at least related, especially seeing some of the other stuff we’ll see in the background.
Now, to the actual quote. I recognize it as a quote from the fox in “The Little Prince”, a book which if you have not read, you should honestly read. It’s a surprisingly sweet book to attach to Charles, but I can honestly see him blushing while talking about it, so it fits.
The quote itself is simple to understand; the material things in the world are not as important as our feelings, relationships, hopes, dreams, all that which can only be seen with the heart. This could be talking about the group’s relationships like I mentioned, but I lean more on thinking it’s referring to the memories of our loved ones, aka, Charles’ memories of his brother. Yes, the fact the quote starts by talking about secrets influences this interpretation.
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IV - Arei ~ Right now, why do you cry?
Not much to talk about here. Arei’s the victim of this chapter, that’s why she cries. You can read into it a bit more and claim it has to do with Arei’s bullying of other people (“why are you crying, you wimp?” is something which could conceivably come out of her mouth), or more optimistically, it’s talking about how Arei used to only cry crocodile tears, but as she’s grown more empathetic, she now cries for her friends. Or some sappy shit like that.
Yeah, it’s still probably just about being the CH 2 victim.
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V - Ace ~ Right now, why do you go insane? [flipped]
I’m not gonna lie, I kinda laughed a bit when I checked which character this one belonged to. Yeah, it’s pretty fitting, Ace is always going off for the most inane stuff.
More interesting is perhaps the background quote, “a cat has 9 additional lives”. Considering we’re talking about one of two people who’ve survived murder attempts so far, it makes sense, though I wonder if it’s going to come into play again later.
… Also, this just confirms in my mind the song from the playlist which belonged to Ace was “Yesman”. Undead, undead! and all that. I swear I’ll make a post about it eventually, I’m just more focused on this at the moment.
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VI - Arturo ~ mind exercise 1 2 3 4
… Uh, well, as a surgeon, he do be exercising that mind though? Or something like that. Yeah, frankly I got nothing. This is just another moment where we Arturo enjoyers gotta take the L.
(Yes, I did just come out as an Arturo enjoyer-)
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VII - J ~ Do it like that, let’s live together!
Another one I have no answer for. Like, what do you want me to say, this implies J’s the mastermind? Because it sort of does, seeing as she’s telling everyone to live together. But I really don’t see anything too interesting in the main quote.
However, the background quote may be more noteworthy. Anything in brackets is covered by something else but can be guessed with context.
“The Moral La[w] causes the people to be in com[plete accord] with their ruler, so that they wi[ll f]ollo[w] [him] regard[less of] their lives, undis[mayed] by any danger”
Had to look this one up. J’s quote is from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” of all goddamn things. The Moral Law the quote is talking about is, from basic research in Google, some sort of unity of purpose; the idea that if the followers and the rules have the same interests, their side will have an advantage in war.
… What?
Yeah, this one’s a bit odd too. For now, my best answer is that it may have to do more with Mariabella than J herself. If you see Mariabella as a sort of leader, and her fans as the followers, it could be talking about how the combined pressure of Mariabella and the media overwhelm J, the “other side” of the “war”.
But if you’re really into the mastermind J idea, you can read it as “she’s the leader of the killing game, with the followers being the people at home that have the same purpose of wanting to see despair and keep the show running by watching”. But I really doubt we’d be getting this sort of mastermind allusions in an MV from chapter 2 of all things.
If anyone has better ideas on this quote or any other, I’d love to hear them.
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VIII - Nico ~ even if i try to think, idk!
Another one I can’t talk too much about. My best guess as to what this means is “Nico tries to think about social cues, but doesn’t get it”. Relatable, but also nothing new. Maybe I’m missing something big, but it’s what I got for now.
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IX - Levi ~ look, aside from the usual, give me that medicine
Disclaimer, the words don’t actually appear in that order in the MV, but this phrase makes a lot more sense than “look aside from that the usual medicine give me”.
I really don’t know what this means. I mean, I can guess Levi might take some medicine? Whit did say some people took prescriptions apparently. But I really don’t quite understand why this is the first time we’ve had his character associated with medicine.
EDIT: The last few paragraphs about Levi are dead wrong, I’m just leaving by them up so you can laugh at how stupid I was. Here’s a correction with a better analysis.
The background quote doesn’t make it much better. It’s just talking about the orbit of a thing, something something representative trajectory… something something Jupiter… something something 1930…
Oh shit, it’s about the discovery of Pluto! That’s what Google seems to think when I put those keywords in, anyways. Well, as fun an astronomy tale as that one is, I actually have no idea what it means for Levi’s character. I guess it’s something we’ll see in the future.
… Or maybe, crazy idea. You know how Pluto was first thought to be a “planet” but then got reclassified as”dwarf planet”? Maybe this means my theory is right: Levi will get “discovered” as the blackened of the second trial, but then “reclassified” as an accomplice when they find out Eden is actually-
Alright, I’ll stop. I’m joking, obviously… (unless?)
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X - Min ~ Democratic-ly
Wait, hold on a second, you may say. That is an X, but it doesn’t really look like the rest of roman numerals font-wise. There are plenty of times X’s appear in the video aside from here, such as… well, the blank death portrait that’s always in the background.
And yes. To my joy, Min got given a bit of special treatment, since the roman numeral for ten, being an X and all, can be seen all throughout the video. However, there is one reason I believe this is absolutely Min’s X.
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You see that tiny little 10 next to the X? That’s a footnote. And footnote number 10 is “The Roman numeral for 10 is X”. Of course, the reason we’re reminded of it here is because that X isn’t just a bunch of blood, it’s a Roman numeral.
Of course, Min gets the biggest numeral because she is just that much of a girlboss.
Anyways, numeral oddity aside, it’s pretty obvious why this is Min’s. The background text is just the description of the rules of a class trial, a trial where the outcome is decided democratically, and the reason Min died. This scene is directly followed by more references to class trials, which although they have some interesting implications for the MV as a whole, only help to solidify Min’s connection to her line.
As for other footnotes, footnote seventeen on the word “democratic-ly” is just an objective fact (“Not a real word. Can’t be found on any dictionary”), though the fact “democratically” is spelt wrong could be a reference to Min’s execution, where she was forced to get a lot of things wrong before dying.
Final note is footnote 12, on the class trial definition, which talks about majority rule and how, because it’s the fairest way to make decisions in a group, “murderers never complained when we voted for them to die”. There are implications here about the fact Teruko also received votes in the first trial, but for Min, there isn’t anything new here.
And yes, Min got three footnotes. As she should.
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XI - Mai ~ God is dead
Honestly, I guessed who got this line before even checking the crossword. It just fits what we know of Mai too much. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to know she would get a line as dramatic as this. If you want a proper interpretation, Mai is sometimes treated like a god by the others considering the secret quotes, but now she’s dead or gone or something.
Of course, that’s the literal meaning of that phrase. When you look at it through the lens of Nietzsche (and Wikipedia to make sure I didn’t fuck up anything), the phrase “God is dead” refers to the idea that as christianity became increasingly non-universal, the ethical and sociocultural elements of society which had been built on it would be questioned and revised. So, “growing lack of faith causes shifts in the status quo”, or something like that. It’s something which, again, may fit Mai from what we know of her backstory. Someone everyone had unquestioned faith on, who did something which had consequences, so maybe that caused a breakdown of that original faith, or something? Anything involving this character is always extremely speculative, but I frankly think the more literal interpretation works better in this context.
In any case, this phrase is about as cryptic and dramatic as everything involving Mai, so it fits.
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XII - Eden ~ ???: But you’re in my way, aren’t you?
… Alright, Eden, I know I believe you to be the CH 2 killer and all that, but you gotta at least try to defend yourself against the allegations! The hell is this?
In case anyone was wondering, I think she’s the killer who wants to get out to meet back up with the girl she kissed (who I’m starting to get convinced is Mai but I’m not ready for that conversation), so this line reads like something she’d say to Arei in that theory. However, it’d be kind of a weird thing to put in the MV before the chapter ends, and besides, there’s an interpretation I like more.
You see how there’s a triple question question mark there? There’s a chance someone is saying this to Eden. I’ll actually get back to this later, because I have to talk about XVI before I cover my theory on this. Apologies.
CW for XIII: Suicide
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XIII - Teruko ~ or
… He. Alright, out of context, this is kinda funny. But if you let the MV play, it’s “… or not to be?”, from “To be or not to be?” Shakespeare and all that. That said, the video does, in fact, only keep the number on screen while it says “or”, so I choose to notate Teruko’s quote as just that. Also, as raspbeyes noted in their original post, the number thirteen is considered unlucky, so Teruko.
With that, I have to talk about how insanely dark it is to cut that phrase off at the “…or not to be” section. For anyone who hasn’t read this speech from Hamlet (which I hadn’t either, btw, had to look it up), the phrase “to be or not to be” is actually about suicidal ideation, with the word ‘be’ serving as a synonym for ‘live’. Therefore, cutting the phrase off at just this section leaves behind only suicide as the option.
It had already been implied Teruko has attempted suicide before (see: her telling Arei that failed hangings hurt a lot), and that her luck is the only thing keeping her alive. This just seems to imply it’s a much more present issue than we believed.
Then there’s the background text. From my research, the one on the left is a quote from “Murder on the Orient Express” and the one across the bottom is from “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas”.
“Murder on the Orient Express” is easy to tie in, as it’s literally a murder mystery novel. Uh, spoilers for the novel, I guess, but it ends with the main detective, Poirot, concluding that the murderer was either no one in the train or everyone there. That sort of ties into Teruko’s hidden quote of “It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all”, I guess? For the line itself, it seems to be about a character hatefully looking at the detective. You can take Poirot to be Teruko because she’s decent at class trials (as opposed to everyone else being horrible at them), and the person looking at her to be… any blackened, or anyone, or David, take a pick.
“The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” is a bit weirder. It’s a short story about Omelas, an utopia which is the perfect life for everyone there, except for a young child who is forced to live in mysery for the sake of the others. The quote in the video expresses this pretty succinctly. I guess it’s talking about class trials? How the happiness of everyone hinges on one person being very unhappy? Teruko’s the protag, so it makes sense she gets a line like this. There could be other interpretations, but I think that’s the most straightforward one.
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XIV - Veronika ~ Things like substance of the arts
I mean, it fits. Veronika’s talent is artistic in nature. It seems a bit… non-dramatic for Veronika? But I guess there’s nothing wrong here.
… Well, there may be, but I’ll get there in a moment.
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XV - Whit ~ Remaining ignorant, isn’t that “happiness”?
(Trust me, that’s the order the words show up on screen)
This one’s also easy. Whit’s secret is “Your mother is dead. You omit this truth”. This, combined with his behavior in the killing game, characterizes Whit as someone who prefers to ignore tragedy rather than process it, remaining “ignorant” in a way. The footnote attached, 15, just talks about the phrase “ignorance is bliss”, which is pretty much what the quote is.
The problem is the background text.
Thinking Time: “Subtract 4 due to tetraphobia”
That’s the phrase in the background, which appears as both Veronika’s and Whit’s lines are there. This is noteworthy because this is the only time in the MV that two different Roman numerals appear on screen at the same time. The phrase is also attached to footnote 4, which defines tetraphobia:
“The practice of avoiding the number four; it is most common in Eastern Asia. This superstition arises from the fact that the number 4 can be read similar to the word ‘death’ in several languages”
This connection is further implied because the character with the Roman numeral IV is Arei, who died this chapter. There is special attention brought over and over again to the number four, and this phrase asks us to “subtract” it.
And of course, this phrase chooses to appear when two “characters” are on screen, to make sure we can’t figure it out definitively.
Let’s start with Veronika: If you substract four from fourteen you get ten (astounding maths, I know). That connects her to Min and “democratic-ly”… which is the part of the MV most related to class trials and the killing game. Because if there’s a way to look like the mastermind, you bet Veronika’s hopping right on that train!
Other than being “Veronika playing mastermind footsies” for the fiftieth time, and the fact she sorta enjoys class trials, I don’t see any other connection between her and Min’s section, so.
I should address, too, you can remove 4 from 14 in a more literal way, and end up with 1 (doing it with Roman numerals just gets you ten again). This would connect her to Xander, whose line I’ve yet to cover, but trust me on this, I don’t think it connects to Veronika.
However, that’s for the line itself. Veronika might actually have a connection to Xander himself, because of their lines about Mai. Xander’s is “she couldn’t stand to do nothing” and Veronika’s is “a girl who didn’t foresee the consequences”. These are the only lines which allude to whatever big thing Mai may have done. If Xander and Veronika have a connection, it is likely through Mai.
And then there’s Whit, who is also on-screen at the time. Or, well, his Roman numeral is.
Alright, Whit. Veronika’s being super suspicious, so the tetraphobia line has a good chance of being about her. All you gotta do is be normal about this “subtract four” thing, alright? Good.
When you subtract 4 from Whit’s 15, you get 11, which is Mai’s “God is dead”-
For fuck’s sake.
He really just can’t dodge these mastermind allegations, can he? Anyways, if this is about him, he killed Mai, or something, and thus is likely the mastermind.
I’m joking- well, kinda. There are other interpretations, like maybe he… was the first to lose faith in her, in the Nietzsche interpretation of Mai’s line? I don’t know, but the murder is the more straightforward answer for this, if you ask me.
The problem, of course, is that there’s no way to tell which character the “subtract four” thing applies to. Well, the use of the word “tetraphobia” feels more Veronika leaning, what with phobias being related with horror and psychology, but to counterbalance, the line only appears when Whit’s numeral shows up, so it’s even again.
Anyways, back to the last numeral in sequence.
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XVI: Hu ~ ???: Go and cry
Alright, you don’t have to be so mean-
In all seriousness, I believe this relates to Hu’s reaction to David’s reveal. And possibly her secret if it’s the one Veronika has.
However, what’s interesting about this line is that it seems to be a direct quote from a character, because of the triple question mark at the beginning. And this is where my theory comes in.
I believe triple question marks is David. This would fit perfectly with this line, as it’s totally something David would say post-magical girl transformation. And with him being the protagonist of the MV, it makes sense for him to be involved.
And that takes me back to XII. If you remember, I said I would talk about Eden’s line a bit more after talking about XVI.
Well, it’s pretty simple, really. Eden’s line comes right after Hu’s in the video, so it’s reasonable to assume ??? is the same person for both of them. In other words, I believe it’s David who tells Eden “but you’re in my way, aren’t you?” This still implies Eden’s the CH2 blackened, by the way. As in, “you’re getting in my way because now I need to figure out a murder”, or something like that. There really isn’t any other thing it could be referring to. Unless it’s like, “you’re getting in my way because you’re so nice you’re preventing murders from happening” or “you’re getting in my way of manipulating Arei by befriending her”, but the first one is too abstract and the second one doesn’t work since David didn’t know about their friendship until after Arei died. So don’t go thinking I’m giving up on that theory. It just changes the context a bit.
-
And with that, we’ve successfully gone through the sixteen numbers. Except, wait! Don’t think I forgot about the funny British boy!
Well, to be frank with you, there is a reason why I chose to save Xander for last. And that is… I didn’t want to start the list with disappointment.
I - Xander ~ Inconclusive
See, the problem is that Xander runs into much the same issue as Min, but without a footnote to help solve the problem. The Roman numeral for 1 is just “I”, so any time the word I appears, Xander’s Roman numeral appears.
Now, maybe you think this is stupid. Obviously any time “I” appears as an actual word, it’s not meant to be Xander’s numeral! We just need to look for the time it’s not a part of the lyrics or a phrase in the text!
This is obviously the most intuitive solution, and it does arrive at… an answer. So, I present, the First Possibility.
First Possibility
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I - Xander ~ (the world of abnormal sentiment dances)
Now, at first glance, this works! You have the numeral next to a phrase, and there’s nothing else it could be!
Except, the problem is that that only extends to the screenshot. In this part of the video, the same phrase is on the screen for a good few seconds, but the “I” disappears and gets replaced by several numbers, then the “&” symbol, more numbers, and what seems to be a “=“ sign, maybe? But could be II sideways. Don’t know, looks like code, not my expertise.
The issue here is that this would be the only time a character’s phrase lingers longer than their numeral. This is pretty inconsistent with the other phrases we’ve seen, which is what gets me to hesitate and wonder if that “I” is actually made to be part of the code and not the crossword thing.
That, combined with the line itself. Because what does “the world of abnormal sentiment dances” have to do with Xander? I looked it up, but it’s not the name of a book or anything. Maybe I’m missing something, but I really don’t think this is related to Xander in any way.
So, I looked for other possibilities. The problem is that, like I said, all other possibilities are part of lyrics or phrases, not a standalone numeral.
And yet, there is one which stands out to me as a good candidate. This has a high chance of being wrong, but I’ll bring it up anyways because I think it’s cool.
Second Possibility
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I - Xander ~ I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate
… Well, I know it’s hard to read it in that clusterfuck, but that is what the red text says.
This line has a bit more to do with Xander, or at least, David’s feelings towards Xander. We know he probably did like him based on some scenes from the MV, but he’s sad about his death. He hates him for leaving, but his heart loves him anyways. That could be read as romantic or platonic… hesitant on the platonic-
That said, the problem is explaining why I believe this is the Xander line. And that comes down to the background text.
… Yes, that background text.
You see, in the MV, it slowly fills out in a way which lets you read it somewhat. I’ll tell you what each part of the text means, but if you want visuals, I’ll ask you go to the video.
What first appears is white text on top and the right. The white text on top is Big Clue #1, as it’s a definition of electrocution. You know, that thing Xander died from.
The text on the right, meanwhile, seems to be an excerpt from “Alice in Wonderland”. The specific passage seems to feature Alice lamenting how much “pleasenter” [sic] things were “back home”. And well, for everyone but Teruko, their homes were likelier “pleasenter” than the killing game. However, in this context, it could be an analogy to David missing the past, when Xander was still alive.
Then, more white text appears on the bottom as yellow text appears under the white text on top. The bottom text is, again, more talk of electrocution, but the yellow text is a bit more complex. This is the line (from Google, exact wording may vary):
“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world...”
Another “The Little Prince” quote, another straight banger (I love that book). Imma need the hornier of you to not focus too much on the “taming” wording and focus on the important part. This one speaks of the beautiful simplicity of relationships; everyone is “just some dude” until you meet them and establish a relationship, and then, they become unique.
This is an especially wonderful quote for Xander and David’s relationship. David truly wanted nothing more than to be “a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes” instead of the idol Xander saw him as. He wanted a genuine relationship with him, where they were not just each other’s idols, but something bigger; each other’s boyfriends :D
Alright, sappy stuff aside, this quote is related to Xander, that’s what you need to know.
Then there’s the big pink text. It says “note: can’t read”. Yeah, fair.
But before that note appears, some cyan text begins sprawling out. It’s not a quote from anything as far as I can tell, so here’s a transcript:
“…man crushed by reality puts on a s[how]…
…[of end]urance. If that’s beyond your
[com]prehension, dear reader, then you a[nd]…
[I’ll n]ever understand each other. Life’s…
[short?] so we might as well make it…
[count?] real life is a realm th…”
So, yeah, I’m sort of guessing half the words here, and I can’t even tell what the last line is, but I think we can get the gist from this. Reading this with the context that Xander’s probably connected, it’s easy to figure out. David was crushed by reality when Xander died, and he put on a show of endurance after that. The insult to the reader is a bit uncalled for, but I don’t particularly care, it fits David.
So, with the idea that this little breakdown is related to Xander, it’s safe to say the line “I hate the things that I love, and I love the things that I hate” (not a quote from anywhere I could find btw) is linked with Xander as well.
And, well. There are other references to Xander, but they’re never paired with an “I”. And there are other instances of the word “I”, but never in relation to Xander, at least not as much as this little breakdown.
This clusterfuck of text also forms directly after the crosswords shows up. And while most of these aren’t in chronological order, number II through V do. Wouldn’t it make sense for I to appear right after the crosswords and make I through V in chronological order?
In any case, I believe this is a decent alternative to the “world of abnormal sentiment dances”, whatever that means.
Conclusion
This was really fun! I am satiated for now, the content drop was awesome, I loved it a lot. There’s so much more I want to talk about in this MV, but this was priority number one in my mind.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you deserve your own Roman numeral, all for yourself! Take care!
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elizabethh1125 · 9 months
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{Take it off} König x (GN) reader~
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Hey guys! It’s honestly been way too long. Firstly, I want to apologize for taking such a long hiatus. Many things in my life have changed to be honest.
My age, my interests, my personal life, my job, my health and so my writing style unsurprisingly has also gone through a transformation of itself. Looking back on my old works I honestly cannot say I have read more than about three sentences before I can’t stand to look any more. It’s just so BAD. Not saying that my new shit is much better, but it’s a slow and steady uphill battle. But for some of my more consistent followers you might have also noticed the change of theme on my page. I will no longer just be catering to the community of five nights at Freddy’s. And I apologize to the folks who only stay on my page for that type of content but honestly, if I only made that type of content, I wouldn’t post here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still love five nights at Freddy’s and will be writing more content of that eventually (I’m sure if it lol.) but it’s just not my main focus at the moment I’m sure so for now I really want to branch out to some more games/characters that I’m enjoying in the moment so you guys get more variety and so can get some more people on my page who can enjoy my work.
For this first newer post I decided to take it easy since I haven’t really written anything for a while. And I feel like the longer fics that I write are the last motivation I have to finish. So another change will be that my fix will probably be shorter one shots/ two or three parts instead of a whole series. I may also end up doing a lot of headcannons or imagines to help with writer's block.
Cod MW/MW2 has been my current infatuation, so expect a few more posts of that. Buckle up children cause we are going for a ride!
This post is a short little sweet fic about seeing konigs face for the first time. It’s simple and it’s SFW so I hope you guys enjoy it.
Tags: sfw, fluff, complements, just good ol brain rot.
Fic below the cut.
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It’s hard not to notice how hot it is.
The air conditioner on base wasn’t very good anyways, but you never noticed how significant it was until you no longer had any.
As you walked down the hall you could hear some of the newer recruits here at KorTac complaining. And to be honest, you couldn’t blame them. It was difficult to bite your tongue, but as a higher rank you had to pretend everything was alright despite the sweat parading down your neck and body. It was so sweltering even your eyes were dripping.
You brushed away as much as you could with your one free while you made your way towards your colonel’s office. Your captain had asked you to deliver a few documents as per usual, so you weren’t too bothered making the trip.
The colonel himself was an interesting character. And although you weren’t able to see the pleasure of him working out in the field, he was a usual participant in helping to train the troops. And oh boy, what a sight to behold.
Firstly the man is an absolute unit. He’s over a foot taller than you, (ignore that if ur a tall person xD)
He’s built like a tank, and works out with a giant black t-shirt on his head. He was always a sight to behold out on the training course, and most of all was a very kind and experienced leader. you definitely could understand how he earned his title. as quiet as he might pose himself to be, he was a skilled and brutal fighter.
And that’s why you're so intrigued as you strut to room 106. His room. You wonder how he’s faring with the heat, especially with that unusual getup of his. You even wondered if he would have it off. It’s unlikely, but the curiosity of what the colonel might look like under the mask had you that much more excited when you knocked on his door.
You heard a grunt of displeasure from behind the door, followed by a faint “come inside.”
You twisted the knob and pulled the door open revealing a pretty uneventful spectacle.
Colonel König sat behind his desk fiddling with some papers. The soft hum of a nearby fan could be heard in the background, and you noticed he was wearing the full getup- helmet and all.
He looked up to meet your eyes before ushering you further inside with a slight motion of his finger.
you find yourself trying hard not to stare as you hand him the paperwork.
“Captain said to give these to you. More files from the new recruits. He mentioned he would be out for the weekend so He said to let you know to give him a call to his personal cell if you needed anything in particular from him.” You relayed your message from the captain and was officially finished with your service.
A sigh fell from Königs lips before he spoke “Ah yes, I remember him intending to do such. Thank you Liefermädchen, have a hopefully cooler afternoon.” He noted before he looked back down to finish his work and you spun to exit the room.
You took a few steps but before you left you couldn’t contain your burning question… literally
“I’m sorry sir, but I just have to ask…” you squeak out as you flip back around to face him.
Konig looks up again from his work and this time you can tell he is intrigued just by his eyes. He brings his built arms up to his head and gives them a good stretch before crossing it behind his neck and placing one leg over the other.
“Alright, don’t leave me waiting. Shoot.” He’s now staring intensely at you, and you feel yourself begin to feel hyper aware of the sweat now dripping down your face from your hair and even your eyebrows. You’re sure glad you happened to choose to exclude makeup from your morning routine today. No doubt it would have melted off just standing here.
“Aren’t you hot under all of… well, that ?” You question as you wave your hand all over his makeshift sniper getup. “It is almost 40 degrees outside sir. And with no air conditioning to help alleviate things… well I can’t imagine you're quite comfortable.”
“I am aware of the situation we are under,” he remarks. Now uncomfortably shifting around in his seat, “ but I’m doing alright.” He fibs.
Your going to regret saying this later, but before you can stop it, it’s already squeezed itself between your lips,
“Bullshit.”
You try to pretend you didn’t just say that to your Colonel, but the shock is clearly present on your face.
This causes the man to burst out into deep bounds of laughter, causing him to let his legs fall back into place and to unfold his arms to clutch his stomach with joy.
“You are a hilarious and very brave Herzblatt” he bellows as his laughter dies out. “ You have caught me in my fib.” He takes a moment to stand up and shrug his large shoulders under the shirt. “I am quite warm…”
“Then why not take it off? You pose to him.
“People come to my office often. To take it off, means to risk someone seeing my face.” He motions to himself as he speaks and you struggle to understand what he means.
“So? Why would that matter?” You retort.
“I’m not sure I feel quite comfortable with people knowing what I look like. Kindness has not been in my favor when people had the pleasure of looking at me without my mask.” He says, making you finally understand.
“Are you afraid people will target your looks?” You tilt your head as you move slightly closer to where the Colonel stands. How saddening that is to hear. You wonder what Konig has had to endure in the past, and your heart yearns to help him overcome his insecurity.
He looks to the floor, obviously ignoring your question,
You take this as your opportunity to breach the distance between the two of you. And the conversation suddenly feels like a mother confronting her mistreated child.
“You are the colonel of this base.” Without regard to overstepping you place your hand on Königs left shoulder. “ it wouldn’t matter if your face was so hideous it turned people into stone sir. People will respect you regardless, you are a leader here, and a leader doesn’t need to have a pretty face to still be respected. And anyways, your face probably is perfectly handsome anyways. I’ve never met an insecure ugly person.” The last two bits were a little overboard but you made your point regardless.
He smiles under his mask with your words to him. He couldn’t believe you were giving him a chance to feel a little better about himself, plus the idea of finally being able to strip himself of his personal sauna would make his job a little bit easier.
“I don’t suppose you would take it off just for a little while? I’m sure it would help cool you down.” (That was a lie) nothing would cool either of you down without air conditioning in this sweltering heat.
König pauses for a moment, and he contemplates what unveiling himself to you would mean to him. suddenly, it feels much worse that you would be the first to see him. He knows you probably wouldn’t judge, but something about it being you that just made him feel…Flustered.
He wanted to say no, but before he could protest you pushed at him again, this time trailing your hand to the bottom of his mask and tugging on it gently.
“Please. Just in front of me? I promise I’ll play nice.”
That last sentence made his head spin. Were you flirting with him?
No.. you can’t be? Can you?
His heart began to speed up to a pace so quick, he worried you might be able to hear it pounding in his chest.
“Okay.” He affirmed, unclamping his helmet and pulling the hood off to reveal his balaclava.
You felt the anticipation begin to boil inside of you as he brought his hand to his hood and firmly pulled it off of his head, not giving himself any time to process that he was revealing his face to you.
When he finished pulling his head out and tossed his balaclava to the side with the rest of his gear, you can’t help but feel your jaw drop.
He was stunning.
His hair was brown and curly, and falling to his shoulders. His face was chiseled, and covered with rough stubble. He adorned battle scars like medals and his lips looked so supple and soft.
You couldn’t imagine why he felt the need to coward himself away under a mask for so long. He was beautiful.
Your silence must have begun to worry him, as you noticed he had broken eye contact and was looking towards his balaclava.
You quickly realized that and gained his attention with a tap to his shoulder. You both had forgotten you were still sitting your hand there.
“So how do I look?” He questioned nervously. And your words couldn’t have been more perfect to him.
“I think the temperature of the room just shot up a million more degrees.”
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An:
For all my visual learners here is my favorite depiction of what I believe Konig looks like under his mask. Of course all credits to the artist! (NOT MY ART) Please go to their post and like it. Also I’m not posting the actual picture to my post to respect the artist’s wishes of no reposts. Just go to the link stinkies and I will see what I mean okay-byeIloveyou!
https://www.tumblr.com/gildedskully/703578007597678592/face-reveal-i-just-think-hes-neat-rbs
(Please read)
Should I do a part 2 where things get a little… spicy?
I very well might. The temptation is greatly building in me.
Anyways for now that is all. I hope you're enjoying my newer writing style and are not disappointed in my branch out to other fandoms. As always I very much appreciate any support I get. It makes my day when I see people comment or like my posts. It’s unfathomable to me that people actually read my shit writing- 💀
Oh and, Btw if you have requested any fics from me I will get into writing those hopefully soon. I know my hiatus looked quite gloomy and long, but I’m back for now. Me taking long breaks is honestly just how I am as a person. I always come back though. Life gets busy, and I’m an adult so other adults understand the struggles of juggling jobs, life and hobbies. Even if I am gone my fics are still here for you to enjoy. Rather If that’s ten days from now or ten years, I hope you’ll enjoy them just the same.
Thank you.
-Elizabeth
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syntheticfoxfire · 1 year
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This Ends Now | Cordelia Goode | [F]
Summary: I heard enough, this ends now. [fictober prompt] Word count: 1.7k
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What was meant to be a completely normal, simple activity of going down to the kitchen for a glass of juice and maybe some snack turned into another everyday habit of yours. A fight with your Supreme.
You heard her piercing brittle voice all the way from the bottom of the stairs. You rolled your eyes, feeling your mood turning sour. Yet you didn’t let it bother you too much, writing it off as Fiona being Fiona, probably terrorizing some of your fellow newly found witches or the racist maid.
That was until you heard a familiar voice. A very familiar gentle voice that broke in the middle of the sentence. Cordelia.
You felt your blood boiling, you hardly controlled your powers not to set anything on fire. You didn’t even need to change your direction since they were arguing – well more like Fiona was taking out her anger on her daughter – in the busiest place in the academy again.
As you got closer, you could understand what she was saying and it made your stomach turn. Her words would cut you like a knife and you were almost a stranger. You never understood how could she be so cruel to her own daughter, especially considering it was Delia. You never met a woman so beautiful both inside and outside, kind and gentle to everyone around her. She was patient and always had an aura of tranquility around her with extraordinary calming effect.
You got close to her because of your powers, well, your lack of control over them. You were a strong witch, nobody doubted that, but your powers only ever manifested when you felt strong emotions – when you were angry, things started burning. Anxious, you teleported away and so on and so on. You were scared of yourself and of harming others. She took you under her wings and let you start slowly, letting you help her with making potions before you’d gain enough confidence to start with magic itself. You clicked right away, you felt happy with her and she seemed to enjoy your presence as well and so you soon became close friends. You helped her through her blind episode, always staying by her side but also keeping your distance to let her do things herself.
What pushed your relationship to the next level where you now were though was the whole ordeal with Hank and the revelation of him being a witch-hunter. She was so scared, ashamed and heartbroken. Fiona did little to help; you’d almost say she made things much worse. You stayed by Delia’s side and assured her again and again that what happened wasn’t her fault – none of it. Day by day you reminded her about her strengths and things you admired about her and she was grateful for your support and friendship.
There was actually one good thing Fiona did, although unintentionally. She outed the terrible crush you had on her daughter to her.
One day, for some reason, she decided to visit Delia in her room and as it happens, parents always choose the worst possible moment to walk into the room of their children. She caught you hugging Delia while stroking her back and whispering all the things you loved about her to her. She snickered mockingly at the scene, making you both jump. “Who would’ve thought, my dear child isn’t able to keep a man so she finds herself a pussy,” she laughed. You never heard a sound more unpleasant. You were hurt by that comment but tried your best not to let it show. “Mother stop it!” Your friend suddenly snapped, her odd eyes burning holes into the older woman – if only it was literally. She reached for your hand, squeezing it reassuringly. The Supreme rolled her eyes. “Oh, please, Delia, not even you can be that oblivious. Look at the poor girl, she’s so pathetically deep she’d give you her own eyes if I asked her too,” with one last mocking scoff she turned on her heel and left the room.
In the newly formed silence you could feel your heart hammering against your chest. It beat so loud you could hear it and you were pretty sure Delia could too. You were absolutely horrified; all your instincts were telling you to run. Normally you’d long since teleported but her calming aura worked too well on you. She probably noticed that as well. You shrunk, biting your lip. You wanted to curl into a ball and just perish. You couldn’t take the tension anymore but when you wanted to move away and run, her hold on your hand got tighter.
She was still holding your hand.
You looked at her, eyes wide with fear and confusion. She should’ve let go long time ago, she should be disgusted. Instead she looked at you like she was seeing you for the first time. At first you thought that her opinion on you was changing, whatever she thought of you before slowly getting erased and rewritten but then you realized: she was remembering. Thinking about all the little things you couldn’t deny yourself, like lingering just a fraction of second longer when you had the opportunity to touch her or jumping every time a potion suddenly started steaming because you knew she’d rub your back or hug you to comfort you. She thought about what you did for her when she needed someone to lean on. And suddenly it hit her that throughout everything that happened she always wanted it to be you who was by her side. She refused the help of others more than once because she knew that when you came back to the academy, you’d find her immediately. The things you enjoyed the most about helping her with the potions she enjoyed too. She was looking forward to having you there, to teach you new things because it would give her an excuse to show you how it’s done, leading your hands with hers and comfort you when you jumped because of the sudden explosion potions sometimes did.
Your gazes met and you almost melted on the spot. She looked at you like you were the moon, so gently your heart almost escaped your ribcage. She licked her lips nervously, averting her eyes for a second before looking at you once again. “Is it true?” she asked with soft voice. You nodded silently, biting your lower lip and releasing it again. “Yes,” you swallowed hard, your throat constricted. She smiled the smallest smile, the corners of her mouth barely rising but she suddenly seemed to glow. Her tongue darted to wet her lips again, her eyes lowering to yours. You followed the movement, cheeks heating up. She chuckled quietly. She raised her hand up to the back of your head, shaking like a branch in the wind. She leaned forward slowly, barely applying any pressure with her hand. She didn’t need to. You leaned in too, meeting her halfway. Your lips met in a sweet, gentle kiss. It was careful, merely testing the waters. Her lips were soft against yours, the fleeting touch soon not enough. You grew more confident, intensifying the kiss. She responded just as eagerly. The kiss stayed very soft and slow though, all about exploration and confession of your feelings.
You remember that first kiss as you entered the kitchen. There they were, standing just a few steps from each other, Fiona looking like a hungry predator ready to tear its pray apart and your beautiful Delia looking just as fierce even as tears glistened in her unmatched eyes. They both turned to you upon your arrival, your partner’s features visibly softening while your Supreme smirked smugly, opening her mouth to spit poison.
“No, Fiona,” you snapped at her, your tone sharp and unyielding, “I heard enough, this ends now.” You basically barked the words at her, grabbing Delia’s hand, your thumb drawing circles on her skin right away to calm her down. “You won’t bully my girlfriend again,” you snarled with ferociousness you didn’t know was hiding in you. Nobody would be able to judge who looked at you with more shock, whether Delia or Fiona. However it was the latter that recovered faster.
“Who do you think you’re speaking to?” she spat, energy and magic sizzling in the air. You expected the well-known push of it yet it never came. Well, it did; but you weren’t the one flying backwards, your back hitting the wall so hard it took your breath away. No, it was her. Her eyes widened upon the impact, her lips silently mouthing something. She stared at your girlfriend in surprise. “Well said darling,” Delia spoke, her tone as firm as it gets. She turned away from the collapsed form of her mother, dragging you away to your shared room.
Once the door closed, you pulled her to yourself, kissing her fiercely. It took her a moment to react, the action taking her by surprise. You only let go of her when your lungs screamed for oxygen but her lips were so addictive you didn’t mind the slight burning. “I’m so fucking proud of you,” you grinned at her breathlessly, your noses rubbing together as you leaned your forehead against hers. Your arms were wrapped around her waist tightly, getting your point across clearly: don’t you dare to move. She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’ve done that – that you’ve done that,” she stared at you, joy and excitement sparkling in her eyes. “But you did and I love you even more and I thought it wasn’t possible,” you raised one hand to cup her cheek, proudly kissing her forehead. “You’re the Supreme of my heart and nobody will change that,” you whispered against her skin, your cheeks already hurt from all the smiling. She chuckled, pulling you to her to return the favor of kissing her breathless. It didn’t last as long but the kiss was all the more passionate for that.
“I love you too and if you don’t stop staying cheesy shit like that, I’ll have to marry you,” she warned breathlessly. She was so gorgeous, pupils blown wide, her blonde hair messy but still framing her face so beautifully and her lips red and bruised, yet so kissable. She was like a drug; and one you wouldn’t mind taking for the rest of your life. “Promise?” you kissed her again, slowly this time, before looking deeply into her eyes. “Promise,” she smiled, mashing your mouths together again and letting you fall on the bed gently.
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Oh look, not two minutes after I went back to The Wolf, Main Dude said a simple sentence. I am aware that my ability to suspend my disbelief about people flying on swords and be raised by wolves but not a dude learning his first language after he’s basically an adult is weird.
Just keep with it. You are only like 15-17 minutes into the first episode.
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guaxinimraccoon · 3 years
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jesus christ why-
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oh mY DEAR GOD-
FIRST OF ALL I'm SO sorry for taking so damn long to answer those, I've been really really busy and I'm very sorry, I'm doing my best to answer everybody ; o ;
BUT FINALLY let's talk about our big last Euphoria reveal (about four months ago but ok-), where I showed you guys that Alex is Brad's father and Elisa is Toby's mom.
"BUT GUAX WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? HOW?? WHEN??? WHERE??"
SHUSH , CALM YOUR TITS DOWN and let me explain:
Ok, so I'll be putting some links here and there because yes, Alex and Elisa's story is very, VERY connected to Brad and Toby's. 
And get ready for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long post. You were warned.
As you all already know, Alex and Elisa had a troublesome meeting, but eventually got closer to each other, they fell in love yadda yadda yadda BUT their will to get closer to each other, in other words, their relationship brought HUGE consequences.
Yes, they did manage to build a healthy relationship, they were happy, they were fine.
But they were also adults, adults that wanted something serious and concrete, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives as forbbiden lovers.
So Elisa did something literally illegal. She did a potion that was forbidden by the Colony authorities - a shrunken potion - to get closer to Alex.
Those potions were never developed, they're rustic and really antique, so they could do more harm than good or not work at all.
But Alex didn't care, he took the risk and drank the potion to get closer to his girl, the woman that was the love of his life.
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The effect of the potion is temporary, so Alex would drink them from time to time whenever he had the opportunity to visit the Colony, spend some time with Elisa and, of course, be a part of her life.
He wasn't just trying to "be like her", he was also trying to be a part of her home. He made friends with her friends, he met her family, he met new imps, new fairies, all of it under his "imp disguise". He even fought for the Colony at it's war times (that is lasting till the current story time). He EVEN presented himself with a more “impish name” - Turk - to make sure people wouldn’t suspect anything.
Of course, people eventually started to ask why didn’t he live in the Colony with Elisa, why did he only showed up from time to time. Alex and Elisa lied, obviously, they told everyone that Alex belonged to a secluded imp tribe that lived walking around the forest as nomads, which made sense since those types of imp communities do exist.
ANYWAY THE POINT IS Alex grew affectioned of those people and with their lifestyle. He started to feel like he was one of them. 
And, of course, he was now closer than he ever was to Elisa.
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Since they were different species, they never worried about having kids. I’ve never said this before but Alex is a doctor, he knows about this stuff, so he always made sure to reassure Elisa that "they were their own condon" and, as sad as it may sound, they couldn't have kids.
... Or so Alex thought.
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You know how tigers and lions can have offspring together? Yeah, it's the same thing.
It's very hard to happen, but they spent YEARS together if you know what I mean so yeah
That's how Alex and Elisa gave birth to their first child: Tobias, the only one of a specie that is a mix between human and imp.
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His parents were really worried at first, afterall, they new NOTHING about Toby's condition. They didn't know if he was going to grow as large as a human or if he'd assume imp proportions forever. After some research with his son's blood, Alex found out that Toby was indeed half human and half imp, but he was predominantly physically an imp. That means his biological features are, mostly, imp like: he'd hardly grow as large as a human through his life's course and could live as a normal imp in the Colony. The fact that he showed talent for magic (once he was old enough to do so) and was able to do it just like any other imp in the Colony also made things easier.
Elisa and Alex chose to raise Toby in the Colony, they believed it’d be healthier and safer for him (especially after some events that I’ll be talking about in other posts), although it hurt Alex to pretend that he was an imp to his son and that he couldn’t see him everyday. 
Even if they couldn’t see each other everyday, Alex and Toby were very close. Toby loved his daddy very much and was very attached to him.
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After five years after Toby was born, Elisa got pregnant again and gave birth to their second child: Bernardo (that’d eventually be nicknamed as “Brad”), one of the two only beings of the specie Alex and Elisa accidently created together.
For preucation, Alex took a bit of Brad’s blood and made some research, just like he did to Toby.
And what he found out wasn’t exactly... relieving.
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Brad, just like Toby, was half human and half imp, but he had expressed mostly human features in his physical body. He was as small as a baby imp now, but it was a matter of time until he started to grow very VERY large.
Unlike Toby, Brad couldn’t live as an imp in the Colony and things got very complicated for them.
Alex wanted to leave. He told Elisa the Colony’s community would NEVER accept their youngest, they would never accept Alex and probably wouldn’t accept Toby either. They had to leave that place before they couldn’t hide the truth anymore, even if it cost revealing Toby, a five year old child, that most of his life was a lie.
But Elisa was hesitant. She didn’t want to leave her home, her parents, her friends. She knew Alex was right, they couldn’t stand that play for too long, but how to leave everything she had built behind? How to leave everything she knew as home behind? It wasn’t that easy.
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Until something very bad happened.
Remember I said Alex made a few friends in the Colony? So, one of them was Stefan, a experienced fairy soldier that had known Elisa for as long as she was alive. He was pretty much her best friend (even if he was old enough to be her father) and now he was also great friends with Alex.
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Stefan is important here. He has a very tragic backstory involving humans. He lost pretty much everything to them: his whole family and his wings, something that meant more than just flying to him.
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So, as expected, he hates humans and truly believes that they are nothing more than monsters that try to manipulate you and to get advantage from imp’s and fairy’s magic. 
After some years, he started to get very suspicious over Alex. Some things weren’t making any sense anymore and that “nomad imp community” was starting to sound way more like an excuse than the actual truth. He simply didn’t understand what was stopping him to live with Elisa and his sons for once.
So he did some investigation. One day, he followed Alex (that he knew as Turk) out of the Colony, in one of the days he had only come to visit his family. Alex had said earlier that he had to “go back to his own society”. Yeah, right. Stefan was hiding the whole time and followed Alex till a good distane from the Colony’s limits. 
And he didn’t get exaclty happy to see his best friend growing impossibly huge out of nowhere.
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Stefan now knew the truth: Alex was pretending to be an imp using shrinking potions. He didn’t belong to any nomad imp group, he was a human that lived in his own house and was coming to the Colony to play family with them.
Of course, he didn’t only felt betrayed, but pissed as fuck. Stefan didn’t waste any time: as soon as Alex came back to the Colony he confronted him. Alex tried to explain himself, but they only argued and ended up having a pretty bad fight.
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In anger, Stefan didn’t want to hear no more explanations, so he told some of the Colony’s high authorities about Alex’s lies and that they had to do something about it. 
The Colony’s Council decided to call Elisa and solve things between imps and fairies only. But they showed her no mercy.
They basically gave her two options: or she’d prove her loyalty to the Colony and would kill her husband and her human son, or the Colony would sentence all of them to death penalty, including Toby and Brad, children that they claimed should have never been born. 
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Elisa was in shatters. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t kill the man she loved and her baby child, she just couldn’t. She was about to accept the second option, rathering die with her family than killing them, but Stefan decided to help her out.
He wasn’t expecting the Council to be so cruel and he started to regret his decisions the moment he saw how Elisa was worried about her family and how much she loved them, even if they were human. He hated Alex and Brad, but seeing Elisa in excruciating pain over them was impossible for him, so he made up a plan with her to save everybody.
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It cost Elisa to trust Stefan, he had told their secrets to the worst people possible, but she had no option aside from accepting his help and following his plan.
The plan was simple: Elisa would tell the Council she’d kill Alex and Brad and would tell Alex that she had changed her mind and that they should leave the Colony as soon as possible now that Stefan knew the truth.
Alex believed her and, after Stefan’s confirmation, so the Council did. The next step was to take Alex and Brad to the Colony’s limits, pretending they were about to leave. 
Then it happened.
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Elisa made, with Stefan’s help, a huge barrier on the Colony’s frontier that didn’t allowed humans to cross it. It was basically a security method that they never thought it’d be necessary.
But now it was and it wasn’t meant to protect the ones inside the Colony...
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Of course, Alex didn’t understand SHIT.
He spent MONTHS returning to the Colony in his shrinking form, trying to find a way to cross the barrier and to get Toby back. 
Or to talk to Elisa.
Or to understand.
Or anything.
He just wanted his family.
Eventually, his potions ended and he was left to raise Brad on his own and to never see his wife and oldest son again.
Since then, he hates Elisa. Or at least thinks he does. He’s just deeply mad at her, he doesn’t understand why she left them. 
He did everything for her. Denyed his own race, submitted himself to the dangerous effects of a extremely nocive potion which he faces the consequences till this day, did his fucking best to be the best father and husband his family could have-
All this love, all this effort, all this sweat and blood
Wasted.
It took years for him to fully recover. Aside from the health problems the abusive use of the shrinking potions brought, he also became alcohoolic. Because he wasn’t mentally estable enough, neither to take care of himself and of his very very small son, he went to live in his parents house. His family knew about Elisa and the children they had together, his folks actually liked her a lot so it saddened them as well that she simply abandoned Alex and Brad and that they would never see Toby again.
His family didn’t had to worry about Brad’s very little size for too long though, before he was one year old he had already reached his human size.
Anyway, Alex’s family gave him a huge help until he was healthy enough to take care of Brad, the only one left from the family he built.
Back to Elisa, she didn’t told Alex her plan because she KNEW he wouldn’t want to do it. She simply knew Alex would be too stubborn. He’d have wanted to try to escape or to face the Council. Both alternatives would get them all killed.
Toby didn’t understand why his mother did what she did. He was forced to go back home with her, screaming the whole time, saying that they left his father and brother behind while Elisa was crying endelessly.
Stefan came to them eventually and calmed Toby down. His heart broke when he saw Elisa. She was... not okay.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to assist her. He immediatly went to a representent of the Council and took them to Elisa and to the Colony’s frontier to prove that she had done it and did even more than she was suppose to. Of course, not without consequences to her sanity, she had just killed her husband and baby, of course she was in pain.
Nevertheless, the Council confirmed Elisa had done her part and left to leave her alone with the child they let live.
After that, Toby spent weeks returning to that spot of the frontier to look for his dad and brother. No sucess.
As time went by, he eventually forgot about Brad, he was very young when they tore apart and Elisa and Stefan never talked about him nor Alex. All he can remember is that there was a baby in the middle of that mess, but he can’t relate to it.
He kept the memories of his father though, who was closer to him, and till this day he believes he’s alive somewhere and that he can be found. But he has no idea he’s a human and has no idea of his own true nature.
Elisa and Alex miss their respective sons deeply and think about them everyday. They also miss each other very much and the first months after the incident were terribly agonizing for the both of them.
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They kept going for the child that had remained for the both of them and raised them apart from each other. Alex never told Brad what happened and so Elisa did to Toby. Like that, none of the brothers knew about the existence of each other.
Until the day Toby was sent, coincidentally, to his “little” brother’s house
And none of them has no idea of this fucking long backstory I just spent four months writing :)
enjoy
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flareish · 3 years
Text
Flinch
kuroo x reader
summary: Kuroo gets heated after a hard loss and things escalate quickly
genre: hurt/comfort
word count: 1.1k
warnings: arguments, flinching, semi toxic
a/n: I dont think kuroo would ever be toxic but I love hurt/comfort so someones gotta take the fall here
Masterlist
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It was a rough game. Nekoma lost straight sets. It was brutal. It was pretty early too, only the second day and they got paired against a power house school and they got destroyed. Kuroo was furious, he didn’t know what to do with himself. His last year playing highschool volleyball. His last year to play with Kenma. His last year and it was gone before it even began. 
Kuroo had been sat in the locker room for a long time. Everyone else had left, leaving the captain to himself. Being his girlfriend it was your responsibility to be there to support him in anyway he needed. You knew there was nothing you could say to make this better. There was no, “you’ll get them next year”. Just the sucky truth. You waited as long as you could for him to calm down before slipping into the locker room. It was deathly silent. You make your way in further and saw Kuroo sat on a bench with his head in the hands. Quietly, you sat on the bench across from him, trying to calculate the best way to go about this. He didn’t acknowledge you, just sat in silence.
“Kuroo,” You said softly, “I know this isn’t the outcome you all wanted-”
“Oh really Y/N?” His head whips up and his eyes arent even red or puffy from crying just angry, “That’s seriously the best you can come up with.” You duck you head down embarrassed but decide if this is what he needs, you can take some sharp words. Tomorrow, when everything has calmed down, you can talk it out.
“What you have nothing to say now? Not going to tell me that we can get them next time? Oh yeah there is no next time this was it! My last chance and it is gone.” He was now standing. You slowly stand as well. You are now standing face to face with him screaming and you just standing there. You didn’t duck your head this time, now you were making direct eye contact. He kept on going though. Throwing out everything he could think of, every regret he has made his season. This wasn’t going as you wished though because instead of calming him down he was only getting more and more amped up. His voice got louder, his arms moving as he spoke. 
“You don’t understand Y/N. You never will. It’s so easy to stand there in the sidelines and be all bummed about your school not winning but you’re not the one in it. You’re not actually apart of any of it. You have no power over it. No you just stand there doing a shitty job of ‘comforting’ me and pity me.” As he spoke, he took steps closer to you. He hands moving wildly along with his angry speech. His anger had gone from losing to you. 
“You know what just get the fuck out of here because all you are doing is pissing me off-” His hand swung up as he finished his sentence. It felt like it happened in slowmotion but in double speed at the same time. Like your thoughts were clear as day but your body wasn’t yours to control. Just like that, your hands come flying up to protect your face and you stumble a step back. Your body waits braced for an impact you had no idea was even coming but your body saw from a mile away. Although your body had predicted wrong. No hit ever came. Terrified of the new disaster you had just created you slowly pull your arms away from your face. Kuroo’s face looks ghostly pale. His hand is frozen mid air. It was pointing not hitting. His jaw was slack and his eyes wide like he couldn’t believe what just happened. If you look carefully you would notice the wetness gathering in his eyes and the slight shake to his body. He knew he was mad and had gone way over the line blaming you for his problems but he never thought you would be scared of him. How could he? You were always so feisty and strong willed. You never backed down, you stood tall and took whatever head on, even throwing snippy comments in here and there. But now the strong girl who he was supposed to protect was crowering infront of him. 
“Y/N- I woul- how could you ever think that.” his voice cracks and he’s unable to finish his sentence. You fear you made matters worse and quickly slip back to leave the locker room as he wished. He goes to reach for your arm to stop you but he stops scared that he will frighten you even more.
“Please, Y/N, wait,” Kuroo pleads falling to his knees, “I’m sorry. I am so so sorry.” He is now crying. You stop before the door. You weigh your options for a moment but when you look back at the broken Kuroo, reduced to a sobbing pile on the floor, your decision is simple. You turn around and make you way back to him. Once again quietly sitting down across from him. He looks up this time, tears streaming down his face. He reaches for you again be stops and lets out a sob at the reminder of what he caused. You push yourself forward and into his chest, wrapping you arms around his neck. He hugs you back and pushed his face into your neck. Muffled apologies are cried into your neck. You stroke his head and try and calm him down.
He looks up at you, eyes glassy, and begins pleading.
 “Please don’t leave me. I know this was well over a line but I’m sorry, I love you so much, just please don’t leave,” He grabs your face in his hands gently, “I will make this up to you I swear. This will never happen again, I will never argue with you ever. You could do whatever and I would ever start another argument again.” His words are rushed and rambled but you can make out what he is saying. You shush him pulling him back into your neck.
“I know Kuroo. We can talk about this all tomorrow but for right now we are okay. I’m not breaking up with you, okay.” That’s all it takes for Kuroo’s entire body to slack into your grip. Full of relief that he didn’t lose another thing today. 
Tomorrow everything is smoothed over but Kuroo sticks to his words, and without you realizing, he never raises his voice at you like that in another fight again. This moment serving as a reminder of what he almost lost.
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pillow-anime-talk · 3 years
Text
dating them.
synopsis: Some sweet, funny and also crazy moments in your relationship.
# tags: headcanons; current relationships; romance; mild comedy; fluff; PDA; sfw
includes: gender neutral reader ft. reki kyan, langa hasegawa, miya chinen, kaoru sakurayashiki & kojirou nanjou {sk8}
author’s note: so... i’m just in love with this anime...
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— REKI
↘ He’s such a precious boy who cheers you up in the blink of an eye; I think he has an extra sense, so he knows when you feel worse than usual or when you are in even the slightest pain (for example, you bumped your elbow or you haven’t eaten breakfast before ‘cause you missed your alarm clock and therefore you have a stomachache).
↘ Reki is a supportive lover; whether you are passionate about singing, learning languages, reading manga, sewing mascots or painting, a seventeen-year-old will always be right next to you to praise what you do or the way you look. He will notice every, even stupid detail about you and mention it immediately when you’re going to hang out. He’s definitely your fan and doesn’t hide it. Additionally, if you introduce him to what you love, he will also get interested in it in a way and then he will come to you to show off what he has done like a sketch of the two of you or an opinion about the anime you recommended him three days ago.
↘ The boy is really devoted to you and loves physical contact; grabbing a hand, kissing on the cheek or forehead, cute texts in the morning it’s something totally normal for the two of you. I also think that Reki could melt if you run your fingers through his soft hair or make small braids for him, decorating his head with a few colored hairpins or hairbands.
↘ If you know how to skateboarding, he will be delighted and your dates will mostly be about riding together or learning new tricks. Plus, it’s another thing Reki loves about you and wow. He’s even bigger fanboy than before!
↘ However, if you have never ridden or even tried to do it, it doesn’t matter. A teen will be happy to be able to offer you some private lessons if you wish. Again, red-haired adores physical contact, so holding your hands/waist while you stand on his beloved skateboard will be a dream come true for him.
↘ He always has ticket for you, so you make a new banner for each race to support him. Hit me, but I’m 120% sure that after race (whether he won or lost it) he takes your pretty banners and hides them in this special box that has its place on his bedroom closet.
↘ Overall, Reki is a boy who fits to the definition of high school, first love.
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— LANGA
↘ Your relationship is a bit more peaceful, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a bit of humor or abstraction.
↘ Langa loves your company so, so, so badly; Reki is quite hot-tempered and is literally everywhere, so when the two of you hang out together after school or at the weekend, blue-haired feels that he can breathe and relax every muscle in his body. You’re his comfort person, and your room is a safe place without fear and noise.
↘ He also enjoys physical contact, but much more prefers to show affection in private, for example in your home or in his own bedroom.
↘ His favorite type of PDA is cuddling; he prefers to be a big spoon and hug you from behind, but he has no problem hugging against your chest or warm stomach, especially when he feels down because of school or racing.
↘ I have a strange feeling that Langa is the type of romantic who would make an amazing Spotify playlist for the two of you so you could listen to the songs, cuddling each other in the bed.
↘ If you can skateboard that’s great! For sure you, Langa and Reki will be a good trio that will meet often in the skate park or in ‘S’. I’m also pretty sure he’ll cheer for you, but at the same time he’ll be very cute with it and definitely more calm than his bestie. For example, if you do a trick... you’ll get a quick kiss on the nose or Langa will buy you your favorite drink. He definitely likes to pamper you.
↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard but you really want to start skateboarding to share your lover’s passion... Well, he will definitely give you a short (long) monologue about how dangerous it is, and you need to be careful – because he knows best of all how a fall on butt or face hurts.
↘ He always keeps a tiny set of colored plasters in his jacket or pants pocket to take care of you in the case of an unexpected accident, as Reki used to care for him.
↘ He’s a good teacher, but he will definitely need to calm his emotions, because sometimes instead of showing you how to slide down the railing, he will suggest something more down-to-earth, like going to the cinema to watch the movie you mentioned three days ago.
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— MIYA
↘ Ahh, my precious smol baby.
↘ You are Miya’s first partner, so he still thinks that he’s not good enough for you, although you always reassure him with a light peck on the nose that he’s the best thing that has happened to you and that you’re very glad that you can be with him in every good and bad moment.
↘ The teenager is terribly shy about any physical contact outside, so if you aren’t at home, don’t expect a ton of hugs or kisses from him. He much prefers when you two are alone – then he doesn’t feel overwhelmed by the gazes of other people, especially other skaters who like to make fun of him. 
↘ I swear I’ll bite and beat them all...
↘ Miya is a delicate soul and he really likes to feel that someone look after him, so in a relationship he definitely prefers when you cares for him. For example; just touch his soft hair, ask about his well-being or when he will have a race and a huge smile will appear on his face.
↘ I think if he feels that you are the only one for him... Maybe he will lend you his favorite hoodie with cat ears and tail? He’ll be overjoyed to see that you feel good in it. You look extremely cute, but he’ll never admit it. 
↘ It smells like him, like wet earth and a hint of sweet perfume, and although it’s a strange combination, it feels really beautiful, downright safe and homey.
↘ For the next holiday (your birthday, your anniversary, Valentine’s Day or Christmas), he will give you a sweatshirt that matches to his own. It will be in your favorite color and will also have an animal accessory, not necessarily catish, because if you prefer dogs, rabbits or cows... You know, there are many options.
↘ If you know how to skateboard, he will be really calm and will feel that finally someone will want to spend time with him, training and riding together; not like in childhood when everyone turned away from him. He will definitely be moved when you grab his smooth hand and offer a long ride in the park. He definitely loves praise, so give him praise every now and then when he does a nice trick. He will also compliment you more than once and even give you a kiss on the cheek (of course if nobody is watching!). He’s not good at words, but he tries!
↘ If you don’t know how to skateboard... He may be a bit skeptical, but naturally he’ll agree to a few lessons in front of your or his house. Of course you originally just wanted to be close to him and hold his hand more often than usual, but it turned out to be pretty fun! Now, training is your typical dates.
↘ Miya is a sweet boy and although he may not look like that, he’s really protective, often jealous and always puts you at first place.
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— KAORU
↘ This beautiful man, this angel-looking ideal, this ahhhh... Being in a relationship with him is pure pleasure and daily healing for the soul.
↘ He’s a calm, understanding and loving partner. I think he’s a bit old fashioned but that only adds much more charm to his person.
↘ He often calls you his ‘dearest’, ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’, isn’t that cute?
↘ You two don’t go out on dates too often, but I think Kaoru loves to spend time at home, having tea or on the couch while one of you is reading a book and the other is listening to music or just sleeping. He definitely doesn’t look like that, but he loves PDA/cuddling and is the best at it!
↘ He also likes it when you suggest learning calligraphy together. He never forced you to do this, but when he first heard that you would like to meet one of his passions, he was really happy and immediately showed you how to write with ink on the special paper he had in his flat. Obviously, more than once you ask him to write a simple letter or word, because you just love his handwriting and how focused he seems. He’s really hot then, I swear to god!
↘ You love his long hair and are always eager to give him a new, nice hairstyle; normal braid or fishtail braid. Maybe a bun or a ponytail with a few hairpins? He loves everything you do on him. In addition, the gentle head massage you give him each time is the most soothing thing in the world for him.
↘ If you know how to skating... He’s really surprised, but that doesn’t mean he’s unhappy or angry. He wants to see what you can do right away and you will surely feel a sweet kiss on your forehead more than once when the trick will be good or even better than you both thought. He’s a supportive boy, but doesn’t show it as vehemently as Reki, for example; he prefers to smile at you or clap softly.
↘ If you don’t know how to skate yet, but you asked him to teach you how to even stand on it... I imagine Kaoru going pale and trying to distract you from this idea because, as an experienced skater, he’s afraid that you will hurt yourself like any beginner. But your big eyes and ruddy cheeks are his weaknesses, so he’ll trust both you and Carla and help you keep your balance on his beloved, black-violet board. Reward him later with quick kisses or give him his favorites, okay?
↘ To sum up, Kaoru is a good and honest lover. He definitely loves your company and won’t mind spending his free time seriously and frivolously with you.
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— KOJIROU
↘ This guy is the definition of the sentence ‘Through the stomach to the heart’. Any objections? No. So let’s gooooo!
↘ Kojirou is a PERFECT second half. Both in character and appearance. If he fall in love with someone seriously, and it will be you, then know that he’ll care for you like about a member of the royal family; breakfasts in bed, an Italian supper, the perfect choice of wine for a chicken or steak are things that have become a sweet daily thing for you at some point.
↘ He loves to show you affection and absolutely has no problem doing it in public, even when he’s working or when you two are in a tight crowd on the train or in the ‘S’ before his race. He will kiss you hard on the lips, grab your skin on your butt or hug your waist. It’s just that everyone needs to know that you belong to him. He’s just as clingy as Reki, and sometimes even worse and bolder.
↘ Of course he has cute side; he likes to lie on the bed or the sofa with you on his chest. He loves being between your thighs and sleep there. He definitely has a weak point in that when you you run your finger on his tattoo or cook dinner with him, throwing ingredients at him and laughing out loud.
↘ Another romantic who uses thousands of pet names (like babey, cutie, doll, pumpkin, kitten). Plus, he loves to dance with you in the kitchen and steal a few kisses here and there. Also, if you aren’t looking, he likes to surprise you with a big, bear hug.
↘ I think he’s a bit impatient, so he doesn’t like to sit at home and prefers dates in crazy places (such as an amusement park, swimming pool, karaoke bar) – it’s his favorite way of spending your time together. As a gentleman, he always pays for you, unless you go faster and bring your ATM card to the card reader as first. But don’t be surprised when Kojirou will just buy you cotton candy or popcorn shortly afterwards.
↘ If you know how to skateboard, he’s as excited as a kid and will definitely offer you a date at the skate park. Naturally, he wants to show off to others what a super cool partner he has, but he also wants others to know that you’re here together to kick everyone’s asses with your abilities. You’re definitely a powerful couple and you have the matching necklaces!
↘ But if you don’t know how to skating then... well, well, well. Just be prepared that one day (without even asking for it) you’ll stand on his beloved board and he will grab your hips, smiling silly. He enjoy skin ship so this guy feels utopian when he can be near you. He definitely won’t spare you compliments, long pecks, and smack your butt when you do something great, so you have to get used to it... and it’s going to be a long training session, so good luck, my friend.
↘ He’s a funny guy, but he’ll never cross your limits, so don’t worry about that. However, he will always find a topic for conversation or a joke to relax the atmosphere or cheer you up. You will never be bored with him.
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panda-noosh · 3 years
Text
the game {draco x reader}
  masterlist
---
 you’ve been tormenting the malfoy family for what feels like forever.
   it’s become a kind of game at this point, a game everyone is involved in. the malfoys pretend they don’t expect your presence, and you pretend you are tormenting them because you don’t like them. it’s back and forth, back and forth, and you’ve been doing it too long to back out now.
   it starts the same way every time - the gate is open, and they pretend it’s because they forgot to close it. nobody mentions the fact that lucius malfoy hasn’t forgotten a single thing in his entire life. nobody mentions draco’s blonde head peaking out from behind the living room curtains, waiting for the arrival of a person he claims to despise. 
   you stroll in with the ease of someone who owns the place, smiling and waving at the white peacocks that have become so familiar with your presence by now that they don’t even make a noise upon seeing you. they lift their graceful heads, and then they bow them again - it’s as simple as that.
    you knock on the door, grinning even wider when you hear narcissa’s faux exclamation of, “who could that possibly be?” you know for a fact that draco has warned her of your presence already, that all three of them have been expecting your arrival since they woke up this morning. 
   and then the door opens, and narcissa stands there in all her glory. such a tall, graceful woman, and you tell her that on a daily basis, making her blush because you  are her favourite little Mudblood, and she lets you get away with things like that.
    you lean against the door frame, spinning your wand between your ringed fingers. narcissa glares at you without speaking, her jaw working as she inspects you.
    “evening,” you drawl. “how are you today, my dear?”
   her nostrils flare. “how many times have we told you to stay away from our home?”
    “oh, plenty of times. i’ve quite lost count.” you straighten, craning your neck to see over her tall frame, into the hallway beyond. standing in the foyer, just as you predicted, just as he always does, is draco. you give him a wave before turning back to face his mother. “is he alright? i haven’t seen him much at school recently.”
    “my sons wellbeing is none of your business.”
   draco appears at his mothers elbow. “you can tell professor snape i’ve been feeling ill.”
   you smile - draco giving you orders is moreso his way of answering your questions without looking like he gives a shit. you appreciate it, this code you two speak in, because in all truth, you do worry about the malfoy boy quite a bit.
   you met him in school, your very first year at hogwarts. you were crushed beneath adrenaline, having found out about your powers only a few weeks before being shipped off to this strange and wonderful new school. you had a wand, and a robe, and there was a giant man ushering you into a tiny boat, ready to take you to the future. 
   and then draco appeared, and he knew who you were. he must have looked through the first year list, must have looked you up and realised you were a muggle-born. he did his research, and that was the first point of respect he earned off you.
    “let them in, mother,” draco says now. “the elves made too much food anyway; might as well put them to use whilst they’re here.”
    you give a mock bow. “much appreciated, malfoy.”
   he snarls, before mother and son turn on their heels and lead you into the home you have become so familiar with these past few years. you’ve traced these walls with your fingers a thousand times before, and you do the same now. upstairs, you hear the elves marching around, putting stuff back where they belong, chuntering amongst themselves; silently, you wonder where lucius is. 
    draco and narcissa lead you to the kitchen, where stacks upon stacks of food are set up along the grand dining table. draco hands you a glass of water before gesturing to the plates and saying, “dig in. and be grateful we haven’t got the ministry involved.”
    “the ministry?” you raise a brow, taking a long, loud sip of your water before continuing. “draco, what would the ministry possibly do? you’ve been letting me into your home for years - it’s starting to get a little old hearing you say you don’t want me here.”
    draco blinks, startled. 
   narcissa steps in, grabbing the water from your hand and slamming it upon the table. “we don’t want you here. the last thing we need is some filthy mudblood knocking on our door at all hours of the morning.”
    the word doesn’t even sting any more - it’s a wound that has been closed long enough now to no longer hurt. so instead, you smile and say, “very true, narcissa. i’ll have my water back now, if you please.”
    narcissa growls, turns and walks out of the kitchen. she always does this. it’s become part of the routine.  
   you grab the water yourself and take another sip. draco continues staring at you, a habit he adopted only recently. you remember the first time he did it, the first time it was more than a glance, more than an accidental brush of eye contact between you; he was standing on the opposite side of the kitchen, those slim fingers tapping a rhythm against the expensive granite. you and lucius were chatting, lucius asking - yet again - why you’re here, why you can never leave them alone, why you aren’t at school. you were going to answer, but draco’s gaze was burning a hole into the side of your face, and you truly felt as if you had no choice but to pack it in early and go home, just to recuperate. 
    you’ve gotten better with it. you don’t have any plans of storming out any time soon, though his gaze still makes your face heat up and your stomach squirm.
    “so, you’ve been ill, have you?” you begin. “i won’t lie, draco, you look pretty spritely to me.”
    “i wouldn’t expect you to understand,” draco shoots back. “you should just mind your business.”
    “i never asked you what was wrong. i was just saying - seems like you’re looking for a muggle excuse to get out of going to school.”
   draco glares, though the expression has less effect now that he’s taken to never taking his eyes off you, no matter what his emotions towards you are in the moment. “i’ve told you not to call me that.”
   “didn’t call you anything.”
   “you called me a muggle.”
   you narrow your eyes in faux confusion. “i said your excuse was muggle. don’t blow it out of proportion, mate.”
   he throws his hands up, turning away for what feels like the first time since he laid eyes on you. “why are you here this time, y/n? what could you possibly want from us now?”
    “i’ve never wanted anything from you.” you inspect the endless plates on the table. “although i will pinch a scotch egg, if you don’t mind.”
    draco watches as you reach across the table, picking at the assortment of foods. you don’t break the eye contact, because that’s what he wants you to do. he wants you to show some sign of intimidation, some sign that he has wriggled beneath your nerves in the same way he manages with everyone else. you’re determined to show him you’re not afraid of the malfoys, have never been afraid of the malfoys, and that’s exactly why you’re here. you wanted something, and you were willing to go to the highest rank to get it.
    “you know, if my father finds out about what you get up to, you’ll be sent to azkaban with a life sentence.”
    you freeze, scotch egg halfway to your mouth. “so you’re bringing that up now, are you?”
    “i’m just warning you.” draco shrugs, the sleeves of his black blazer stretching against the motion. “one day you’re going to walk in here, and he’s going to know. he’s going to see it in your eyes that you’re guilty.”
   “he’s going to figure me out.” you scoff. “you really think the sun shines out of your father’s arse, don’t you? he’s not as smart as he likes everyone to think, draco. i’ve been running circles around that man for years now, and he’s none the wiser.”
    “and what if i tell him?”
   the room falls silent. your heartbeat rings in your ears. you hate talking about this with draco, because you never know whether or not to take his threats seriously. 
    he folds his arms over his chest. “you’re lucky i haven’t blabbed yet.”
   “are you threatening me, malfoy?” you lean forward, lowering your voice to a purr. “why don’t you tell me the real reason you’ve taken two weeks out of school, hm? then we’ll both have stories to tattle to the ministry.”
    draco pales. he glares at you for a moment longer before the kitchen door opens, and narcissa malfoy strolls inside once again. you straighten up, schooling your expression into one of immediate calm, like not a single thing is wrong. you pop the remaining scotch egg in your mouth and say, “i should get out of your hair now.”
    narcissa simply scowls.
    you give her a grin, nod at draco once before walking out the door, trying to ignore that blue-eyed gaze still burning into the back of your head.
   ----
    it gets easier over time.
    all of it does, really. the guilt becomes non-existent, and the act itself becomes second nature after a few good attempts. you’ve nearly been caught a handful of times, and you know if your actions were to come to light, you would be expelled from hogwarts in a heartbeat; not even dumbledore could show you mercy, no matter how much he likes you.
    it’s easiest when the streets are full. muggles are so careless, clumped together with wallets jingling in their pockets, unprotected. they don’t even think about what might go wrong, don’t even think a wizard may be lurking amongst them, ready to snatch their belongings right from their person.
    you don’t need it, of course. muggle money means nothing where you come from, but there’s some wizards and witches who would pay hundreds of galleons in trade for the things collected off muggles. it’s a black market kind of situation.
   tonight, you are dressed in a black hoodie and jeans, wand stowed in your back pocket. you don’t need it; you’ve mastered the magic-free manoeuvres of sneaking things from people, and you use such skills to your advantage tonight. a man by the name of richard carpol has put in a request for a muggle passport - an irish one, preferably, but he’ll take anything you can get your hands on.
    you search for what feels like hours before zoning in on the dark red booklet peaking out of a teenagers jacket pocket. their source of ID, you assume, and you feel no guilt whatsoever when you stroll past them and pluck the book free. you stuff it in your hoodie pocket before picking up your pace, ducking into a dark alleyway.
    you flip it open - it’s a british passport, but richard will still pay. he’s not a picky customer, which makes your night ten times easier.
   you make your way back to hogwarts, waving at people in hogsmeade before you disappear for the night. you sneak into the slytherin dormitory with no problems, stuffing the passport beneath your mattress. you wriggle beneath the sheets, ignoring pansy’s insistant questions about where you have been, if you’ve seen draco, how you managed to sneak past filch - she asks this every night, and you have never replied. you just fall asleep, another day successful.
  ----   
   “he’s back.”
   like he’s some kind of god. you nearly roll your eyes, the whispers repeated over and over again throughout morning breakfast. all around you, the slytherin table is alive with anticipation, waiting for draco malfoy to stroll in through the double doors, head held high in that way it always is.
   you knew draco was returning before anyone else did, as he told you the night before in a fit of faux rage at the sight of you in his bedroom, yet again. you had offered to leave, leaned casually against his mahogany wardrobe, and it could almost be considered hasty the speed at which he rushed for his door to close it, uttering a quiet, “no, you’re here now, so you might as well stay.”
    but now he’s back in school, and you’re sick of him. you haven’t even seen his face once, but the whispers and the praise from your house mates is enough to set your teeth on edge. it reminds you that there is indeed a draco living outside of the malfoy manor, a draco you cannot tease and torment as easily.
    “i saw him in the common room this morning putting his robes on. i think his parents got him new ones,” a fellow slytherin whispers. “and his hair has been cut a little shorter - he looks so grown up!”
   you snicker into your porridge, smothering the noise to no avail. the slytherin girl singing draco’s praises shoots you a glare before noticing who you are; her glare folds in on itself, and she quickly retaliates by pretending she didn’t hear your snicker in the first place.
    breakfast ticks by, and it’s only near the end does draco finally decide to grace the dining hall with his presence. the double doors open, and the chatter amongst the slytherins falls short almost immediately. you’re ashamed to admit that even you look up at the speed of light, catching one of the first glimpses of draco malfoy as he returns from what many people assumed was the dead.
    his fangirl certainly wasn’t lying, you notice; his hair has been cut shorter, and he does look plenty grown up. he walks with a fresh confidence that makes you want to roll your eyes - it’s not like he needed a further confidence boost. his robes are clean, brushing the floor. his eyes are trained on the head table, though they linger there for only moments before snapping to where you are seated.
   you raise a curious brow. he blushes, looks away, and takes his seat next to crabbe and goyle, both of whom clap him on the back like he’s just returned from war.
    you ignore him the rest of breakfast, which is a rare action for you. you used to revel in tormenting him, coming face to face with him at every corner just to give another snide remark; it was a game back then, back when the two of you were younger and felt as if you could get away with it. 
    breakfast ends shortly thereafter, and you hurry to gather your things. swinging your bag over one shoulder, you duck your head down and escape into the crowded corridors, losing yourself amongst the sea of black clad students. 
   but you’re a fool to ever think you - of all people - could escape draco’s magnificent return to school. his cold fingers wrap around your wrist before you have a chance to turn the corridor to your next class, stopping you in your tracks. part of you wants to spin around and punch him, just floor him in front of everyone, show him that you’re not just some silly person showing up on his front doorstep every other night.
    instead, you slowly turn and give him a smile, one of your big ones to let him know you don’t mean it, that you’re being hostile.
    his face is set in stone, that frown so perfect and soft looking it makes you want to sob. 
    “where are you off to in such a hurry?” he asks, keeping his voice low because god forbid anyone catch him speaking to you.
    “class,” you reply. “so kindly let go of me, malfoy.”
   “not until you tell me where richard got another muggle passport to sell.”
    you freeze, though you knew this would be coming eventually. richard is one of your best customers, but he’s not very bright; he’s never understood the concept of subtlety when it comes to the trading of muggle artefacts. 
    “he has a new one, does he?” you say. “good for him. his collection must be getting awfully big by now.”
   draco scowls. “my father is starting to get very suspicious, y/n, and i don’t know how much longer i’ll be willing to cover for you.”
    you pry your hand out of his grip, nearly stumbling from the momentum. “is that a threat?”
    “it’s a warning,” he says. “i might not like you, but i don’t need you going down for something like this. people know we’re familiar with each other, and i don’t want you tarnishing my family name.”
    you scoff. “your family name has been tarnished since you-know-who was in power.”
    “shut up. don’t talk on things you don’t understand.”
    “all i need to do is pick up a history book.”
   draco scowls, those blues eyes ablaze. you’ve seen this look on him when he’s speaking to those gryffindors he hates so much, when a teacher takes someone else’s side over his own. you’ve seen this look on him plenty of times, but never aimed at you; for some reason, his expression is always so soft around the edges when trained on you.
    “i’m trying to do you a favour,” draco mumbles. “because i’m serious when i say my father will snap you in half if he finds out you’re the one providing these artefacts to the dark market.”
    “i’m not afraid of lucius,” you reply. “and i think you’re kind of forgetting the fact that your father actually likes me. at least a little bit.”
    draco’s eyebrows fly up in amusement. “what’s given you that idea?”
   “the fact that i’m still allowed in your house after all these years.” you grin, basking in the way draco’s own smile fades at the realisation you have indeed recognised this behaviour within his family. “yes, malfoy. you all try so hard to convince me i’m the scum of the earth, but the truth is, you appreciate my company. the truth is, you make me tea every time i visit. the truth is, you’re all a little fond of me, whether you want to admit it or not.”
    his face pales even more, a feat you didn’t think possible until seeing it with your own two eyes. it’s a delicious win, a point for you in a competition you didn’t even realise you had entered.
    “you’re delusional,” he mumbles. “you say you picked up a history book, then you must know how my family feel about your kind.”
   “my kind?” you raise a brow, feigning ignorance just to annoy him. he hates outstretched conversations, especially with you. “are you talking about half-bloods, or pickpockets? oh! or people who can run circles around you without fear?”
    you don’t give him a chance to reply, because quite frankly, you’re done with this conversation. you’re done with him for today. you prefer it when you’re in control of your daily draco interactions. 
    you turn on your heel and leave, rushing for your next class even as he calls your name. you can’t believe the nerve of him, approaching you like that, telling you to quit the job that’s gotten you off the streets, that’s helped you fund an education for yourself. these robes you’re wearing, the books you read in class, the wand that is an extension of your arm by now - all of it was funded by you, from your own pocket. just because the business is ruthless, not some posh, clean dealing that malfoy is used to, doesn’t mean it’s any less important.
   you want to shove that explanation down his throat, just so he’ll finally look past his own privileged little bubble. you hate admitting it, but the truth is, draco wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t so blinded by his upbringing. he knows how to be nice - you’ve seen it before, experienced it before, though you never talk about those experiences with anyone. there have been a few times where draco has seen you walking past his house, soaked to the bone from the rain, and he’s let you in, warmed you up by the fire, placed a hot chocolate in your hand. he’ll insult you and call you stupid and claim he wants you out of his house as soon as possible, but he was still the man who made the move to get you out of the rain.
    your feelings for draco are a jenga tower. built up to full form, but slowly, pieces get chipped away until the entire thing is falling, and you have to rebuild it and try again. 
    you don’t know why you keep rebuilding it after so many disasters, but as he calls your name at your retreating back, you can feel yourself already putting those blocks back together.
   ----
     charms class really is a pain.
   flitwick is nice enough. he’s patient, which is good, and very much needed when it comes to your skills in the classroom. you’re an intelligent person, always studying because you want to be the best. you love seeing the look on draco’s face when he looks over and sees you’ve got a higher grade than him. it gives you such a thrill.
   but charms is your downfall, because nothing makes any sense. flitwick explains the spell, and the hand movements, and he leaves you to your own devices, and you always somehow end up messing everything up.
   today, all you’re doing is tossing a pillow to the other side of the room. it’s a simple spell, a simple gesture, and yet you still manage to smash a window in the process. flitwick merely sighs, explains the charm again, and gets you to repeat the process until you’ve got it right.
   it takes a while. you don’t like it when things take a while.
    by the half hour mark, sweat is running down your face, and your teeth have been gritted for so long it’s starting to hurt. you throw your wand down on the table, rake your hands through your hair and say, “i’m taking a break.”
   “please do,” flitwick grumbles, rubbing the spot on his head where a vase smashed into his skull, thanks to your handiwork.
   you slump down on one of the pillows you have failed to charm and run a hand along your brow. it’s actually disgusting how much energy gets taken out of you from doing such a simple thing. it’s also very confusing, considering you’re able to master the most difficult spells in defence against the dark arts without so much as a second thought. why tossing a pillow to the other side of the room is getting to you is both a joke and a mystery.
    as you pull yourself together, savouring your moment of rest, someone slumps down next to you. you glance over, an eyebrow raised at bailey o’boyle, a boy you’ve done business with a few times in the past. he was only dabbling in the black market at the time, too young to understand what it was actually all about, but you weren’t going to be the one to ward him off, not when he had a good few galleons with your name on it.
    he looks at you now with a smile, big and dopey, just as it always is.
   “can i help you?” you ask. 
    “yes.”
   you wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. he just keeps staring at you.
    you grit your teeth. “with what?”
    “i need an electric scooter.”
    you raise a brow. already the word ‘electric’ has got your attention, because that’s not something the wizard world is very familiar with. what bailey is doing right now is forming a business deal. you’re not usually a fan of bargaining in the middle of class, but since you have nothing better to do. . .
   you turn, ducking your head and lowering your voice. “what the fuck do you need an electric scooter for?”
    “to sell,” he replies. “i’ve got a man who collects them. he’s willing to pay big money, y/n. big, big money.”
    you like the sound of that.
   “i’m a pickpocket, you know,” you say. “it’s not going to be easy pickpocketing an entire scooter from a muggle.”
    bailey shrugs. “i said i’d see what you could do. but if you’re not up to it. . .”
   your eye twitches; you hate that phrase. realistically, you know this is far beyond your expertise. you steal wallets, and passports, and house keys, tiny things you can sneak away without detection. trying to get something like an electric scooter from a muggle without being caught is close enough to impossible that even the lure of galleons isn’t enough to convince you to do it.
   still, of course you’re going to think about it. there are many different side streets in muggle london that you could go down, and if you do it at night, the shadows could be used to your advantage. nobody would even bat an eye if you wore-
    draco grabs your wrist and pulls you from the floor.
   you yelp, stumbling into his chest. he lifts you like you weigh nothing, and you’re more surprised at his strength than you are at his actions.
    bailey’s eyes widen. he stutters, trying to feign innocence, but neither you nor draco are interested in him any more. you whirl on malfoy, shoving him away.
   “what the hell?”
    “what the hell, is right.” he grabs your arm. “come with me.”
   you struggle against his grip, but truth to be told, you’re not really putting up much of a fight. you’re still in shock at how easily he was able to lift you, at the feel of his fingers around your upper arm. 
    he drags you from the classroom. flitwick being flitwick doesn’t even bat an eye; he’s probably relieved that’s two more students he doesn’t need to worry about.
    in the hallway, draco finally lets go of you. you jerk away so fast your back hits against the wall. draco raises a brow, but he still looks furious. his nostrils are flared, his face is pale, and god, he keeps clenching his fists like he wants to wrap his hands around your throat.
    god help you, you kind of want him to. just to know what it feels like.
    “again,” you say. “what the hell?”
   “i knew you were stupid, y/n, but that’s bad even for you.”
    “excuse me?”
   “you do realise blaise was listening to every word you and bailey were saying in there?” he shakes his head, jaw clenched. “i was trying to talk over you, but your loud mouth is quite difficult to ignore.”
    you blink. firstly, wow. bargaining in class really isn’t a good idea, and you really should have known better.
   but also, wow, draco actually tried helping you out.
   you swallow and fold your arms over your chest. “i had it under control. blaise isn’t gonna do shit.”
    draco laughs. “blaise’s dad is in the ministry, idiot.”
   “stop calling me that. i’m smarter than you!”
    “do you understand what i’m telling you, y/n? if blaise says a word about what he heard to his dad, that’s you done. there’s no getting out of that.”
    a chill runs down your spine. draco glimpses the movement, and you swear his features soften slightly.
    “i just can’t believe you were so careless.”
   “why do you even care?” your voice is quiet, barely above a whisper. you kind of hope draco doesn’t hear it, but his eyebrows shoot up, and his cheeks gain a tiny red tint that lets you know he doesn’t really know the answer to that question. 
   you swallow, looking up to meet his eyes. “why do you care, draco?”
   “because.” his throat bobs. there is a moment of hesitation where you think he’s going to tell the truth. maybe he’s going to shock the world and just tell the god damn truth, but then he clears his throat, pulls his shoulders back and says, “i’ve already told you, y/n; if you go down, you’ll tarnish my family name. i can’t have that.”
    your insides wilt like his words are acid being poured down your throat. you laugh a little too loudly, a bark more than anything close to amusement. it’s so vicious, so filled with hatred that draco actually flinches away. in that moment, you want to give him a real reason to flinch, a real reason to be afraid.
    but you don’t, because he’s the boy who pulled you out of the rain.
   instead, you shake your head and say, “tell flitwick i’m ill. and don’t bother talking to me ever again. let me handle my own business, thanks.” and without another word, you rush down the hallway to the dorm rooms, refusing to look back at him. this time, he doesn’t call your name, doesn’t chase after you in that hopelessly stupid way you want him to. of course he wouldn’t. 
    you throw your robes off the minute you burst through the doors of your dorm. it’s empty besides a fellow slytherin’s cat laying on the bed. the black and white feline lifts its head at the sound of you, and you ignore it’s confused little mews as you scramble into your own bed, pull the privacy curtain over and bury your head in your pillow.
   you hate him. you really, really hate him, and that’s not even an exaggeration. he’s the worst person you’ve ever met. he’s this tormented little shit who thinks he has every right to throw his anger at everyone else, just because he isn’t tough enough to stand up to mummy and daddy. he’s so desperate to stay in line with everything his parents say, and it’s ridiculous. it’s embarrassing. it’s a cowards move.
    there are so many things you wished you said to him before storming off, but there’s always that moment of hesitation when it comes to anything you want to say to draco. you either have to check it’s not too nice, and even when it’s mean, you have to check it’s not going to actually upset him, because you don’t want to do that either. you don’t know why. you should spit in his face for the shit he puts you through, the confusion he makes you feel. and he doesn’t even care. he just carries on being a little prick, like nothing is wrong in the world.
   but surprise, surprise, draco. not everyone can live a lavish life, worry free. 
   --- 
    you manage to ignore draco for the rest of the day. it’s easily done, considering draco doesn’t like to make a big deal out of the fact that you two actually have history; he likes to pretend he associates only with people of the purest blood, the most talented wizards, ones that come from the old families.
    but he can’t keep his eyes off you.
    he knows he’s hit a nerve. the way his eyes follow every movement you make, the way his jaw ticks when you don’t even give him the time of day - he’s not a stupid boy, as much as you like to tell him he is. he can see when he’s upset you. 
    classes drag in the rest of the day, and it’s a massive relief when you’re finally released from the confines of lessons, free to do whatever you want. after stealing a bit of food from the dining hall, you head up to the slytherin dormitory; you like it best when it’s empty, when you can just sit with your own thoughts for a while. you need it today, because today you actually let yourself be a normal teenager, and you hate it. you hate the feeling of hormones and overreactions, but sometimes it’s hard to help it. sometimes you need to let yourself feel emotional.
    alone in the dorms, you reach under your bed and pull out your handy box of trinkets. most of the contents are just things you’ve stolen that never found a home - a penny from a london sidewalk, an old napkin with a mystery person’s phone number scribbled on it, a black and white photo of a couple standing in front of the ocean. however, tucked away amongst those simple, boring things is a green emerald - one you stole from the malfoy manor a few years ago.
    you got it from draco’s room, because you weren’t meant to be in there, and you wanted to let him know that you had, in fact, been in there. the emerald was stitched into the collar of one of his shirts, all expensive looking and wasted. you nearly scoffed at the sight of it - when would draco ever get to wear something so glamorous anyway? plus, the emerald looked far too heavy to be confined to a shirts collar; it would be very uncomfortable, you assumed.
   that’s why you grabbed a knife and cut the stitching to shreds, plucking the emerald from it to claim as your own. you tossed the shredded shirt back into draco’s wardrobe, tucked the emerald into your pocket and then walked out, content with the knowledge that draco would be yelling at you in due time once he noticed his missing jewel.
   but the yelling never came.
   draco knew you had stolen it. again, he isn’t stupid. his shirt was shredded, and the jewel was missing, and it was obvious who had done it - the known pickpocket who was strolling through his house every other night. 
   he just never said anything, like he wanted you to keep it, like he didn’t mind it was in your hands now.
   you stare at it, legs crossed beneath you. you’ve always prided yourself on how little you care for expensive things - you don’t complain that you haven’t got much, that you grew up poor, never able to afford the grand things draco has. but you still handle this emerald with so much care, flipping it round in your fingers, looking at every curve and delicate groove in it’s cut. 
    the dormitory door opens. you trust it’s just someone who’s eaten too much and wants an early night, so you don’t panic or falter. you listen to their footsteps patter across the room, the thump of their robes hitting the floor, followed closely by their shoes. you listen to their privacy curtain screeching open, their sigh of annoyance at something you can’t see-
   and then draco pops his head round your privacy curtain.
   you yelp, fumbling with the emerald. it slips from your fingers, however, and crashes to the floor at draco’s bare feet. he stares at it as you curse, an eyebrow raising, and you don’t even try and hide it. you just let him stare, arms folded over your chest, annoyance brewing in your stomach just at the sight of him. 
    finally, he slowly looks up. “mine, i take it?”
   “good guess, rich boy. can i have it back?”
   he picks it up and tosses it into your lap. you’re pleasantly surprised at his cooperation, but still keep that frown on your face.
   “what do you want?” you ask, violently stuffing all your belongings back into the cardboard box. 
    “you weren’t at dinner,” draco replies. “i wanted to make sure you weren’t causing any more trouble.”
    you scoff. “oh, trouble, yes. tarnishing the malfoy name. the end goal for us all.”
    draco stares at you, lips pursed. his gaze is always so warm, a physical thing that makes your skin crawl. “that comment bothered you, did it?”
    “nothing you say bothers me, draco. it just baffles me how you can be so dense sometimes.”
    “ouch. that one hurt.”
   you roll your eyes. “why are you here? i have nothing to say to you.”
   “you don’t have to say anything. i just wanted to make sure you’re alive.”
   “not like you care, though, is it?”
    draco’s nostrils flare. his throat bobs, eyes tracing the length of your throat like he’s a hungry vampire. his lower lip slips between his teeth, the expression startling you. he looks like he’s trying to reel himself back, like some unwanted emotion is fighting for dominance in his brain.
    “you’re really stubborn, aren’t you?” he asks after a moment.
   “you think?”
    “i still don’t know what i did to piss you off so much.”
   you bark out a laugh. “no, of course you don’t. god forbid a malfoy is self-aware for once.”
    he groans. “can you not just make things simple? why do we have to go around in circles like this? it’s a waste of time!”
    “is that meant to be an apology?”
   “how can i apologise when i don’t even know what i did?” he’s starting to sound desperate, like this conversation is taking the life from him. 
    you lean back, pulling the box into your lap protectively. in truth, you don’t even know how to word why you’re so upset - it makes sense in your head, but articulating it to someone else is just going to make you sound stupid, maybe even a little delusional. you should know draco by now, people will say. you should know what he’s like, that he cares for no one besides himself. getting upset over him showing his true colours is stupid, a waste of time and energy.
   but you look into his blue eyes right now, wanting nothing more than for him to just understand. understand what, you don’t even want to admit, not to yourself or anyone else. 
   “you hurt my feelings,” you mumble. 
   draco inhales sharply. “i didn’t think i could do that. i never thought you’d let me.”
    “well, you did. congratulations.”   
   “jesus, y/n, it’s not like i wanted to. what did i even say?”
   you stare at him. he stares back. the ball will drop eventually, you know, because draco is smart, smarter than you’ve ever given him credit for. he examines your expression, and you watch the moment his eyebrows start to relax in realisation, the frown form on his face. it makes anxiety coil in the pit of your stomach, because maybe this is just a little too vulnerable. maybe letting draco figure this out on his own was a bad idea.
    but it’s too late now. he draws back slowly, hands curled around the privacy curtain until the fabric is creasing and knotted in his fingers. “wait. . .”
    “go, draco,” you demand. “i have shit to do. business to take care of.”
    “y/n-”
   “go, draco!”
    he stares at you a moment longer before running a hand through his hair and walking out the room. you wait till the door is closed, and then you wait till his footsteps can no longer be heard, and then you throw the box of trinkets to the ground, watching the emerald slip across the wooden floor.
    ---
     the streets of london always look a little different when you’re angry. a little more violent. a little more real.
   muggle london in itself has always felt like a very hostile place to you, but when you’re angry, things get clearer. you notice the vomit stain on the curb, the neglected baby pram in the bush, the beer bottles smashed beneath window sills. it becomes a different place - it just depends on how you’re feeling.
    tonight, you are angry, and everything around you is angry, too.
    you just want a set of car keys, not the actual car. muggle car keys sell at a good price, depending on who you’re dealing with. nobody has requested them, and usually you don’t go out unless asked to do so by a client, but tonight, you just want to be out. you want to be away from the wizarding world. you want to cause havoc with your fingers in the best way you know how.
    it’s busy. it always is. you can guarantee that almost everyone around you has car keys in their pocket - that’s why global warming is so bad. some of them even wear them around their neck, dangling from multicoloured chains with little souvenirs banging against their chests. those would be so easy to just rip off and run away, but you’ve decided to be subtle, which means your eyes are trained on the bulges in people’s coat pockets. so many of them, so careless. 
    a man in a tracksuit seems like the best option. you follow him for ten minutes, keeping your head down, before he finally breaks away from his group of drunken friends. he laughs to himself, stumbling just the perfect amount - he’s drunk, but not drunk enough to be falling over himself, which makes slipping your hand into his pocket a pretty easy deal.
   you go for the kill, quickening your pace, dipping your hand into his pocket-
   he grabs your wrist, and before you even have a chance to blink, you’re on the ground.
    a gasp is ripped from your throat at both the shock and the pain that spears up your spine. the guy is yelling, stumbling back, and holy shit, if he doesn’t shut up right now, the whole of london is going to be on you.
   gathering as much strength as you can, you roll onto your side and push yourself to your knees. “hey man, calm down. sorry. i thought you were my friend.”
    “did you just try and rob me?” he yells.
   “no! no, of course-”
    “you psycho bitch!” he lunges for you, all drunken vowels and grabby hands. you have no idea what to make of his intentions, you just know you’ve fucked up, and you need to get out of here.
    his hands slam into your shoulders, knocking you on your ass. a cry escapes you, but not from the pain. a tiny snap sounds from your back pocket, and you know without having to look that your wand has just broken in half - yet again. dumbledore is going to start getting very suspicious.
    “son of a bitch,” you growl, before raising your hands. “listen, hey. i’m sorry. i’ve said that already. you need to calm down before-”
    “before what?” he howls. “you kill me? are you threatening me?”
    your eyes widen. “no! would you just-”
    the man opens his mouth to say something else, but his words are sucked back in when a hand wraps around his arm and yanks him back. you wince at the sound of his head cracking against the tarmac, but you don’t get a chance to comment before draco is kneeling beside you, one hand cradling your head, the other resting on your knee. his touch alone is enough to spread warmth through your previously frozen limbs, and you hate that. you hate it so much.
    you tug your knee from his grip. “what the hell are you doing here?”
   “are you bleeding?” he runs his thumb along your bottom lip. when he pulls away, his fingertip glows with a red liquid. 
   “oh. i guess i am.”
   “christ, y/n. do you ever just...” he closes his eyes, taking a moment to redirect his anger. it’s an amusing sight, and you almost smile until you remember you’re mad at him. forever mad at him.
   you jerk your head out of his grip, too. “i’m fine. stop worrying.”
    “clearly i have to, or else you’re going to get yourself killed.” he glances over his shoulder, where the drunken man is struggling to sit up, still slurring protestations. “by a muggle.”
    “he wouldn’t have killed me,” you grumble. “although my wand is broke, so maybe he would have.”
   draco’s eyes widen. you wave him off before he has a chance to chastise you again - in truth, you just want to get out of here, car keys be damned. hastily, you push yourself to your feet, wobbling only slightly, but draco must see this tiny action as a full-on collapse risk, as he wraps an arm around your waist and tugs you close, grumbling curses under his breath. you’re such a pain in the arse, apparently, and god, he wishes he wasn’t stuck with you all the time, and he’s so baffled by the fact you’re still alive, it’s probably all thanks to him, blah, blah, blah.
   you listen to him rant the entire way back to malfoy manor. you don’t argue his choice of location, because you can see narcissa standing in the doorway, hand over her mouth, eyebrows raised in genuine surprise, and you already know she’s got a cup of tea waiting for you in the sitting room. you almost smile, but that would ruin the effect.
    she rushes out to meet you and draco halfway, immediately grabbing your face and tilting your head back and forth. you can taste blood on your teeth.
    “what happened?” she breathes, but doesn’t give you a chance to reply. “draco, take them into the lounge.”
   “oh, the lounge,” you coo. “you are spoiling me!”
    “be quiet,” draco hisses, doing as his mother says. he tosses you unceremoniously onto the plush sofa, and you have to ignore the inappropriate thrill that shoots up your body. 
   narcissa appears not ten seconds later, a steaming cup of tea in her hand. you give her a grin, which she rolls her eyes at, even as she sits beside you and brushes your hair away from your face. you take a sip of the tea, smile in thanks, and then lean your head back.
   “sorry about this.”
   narcissa sighs. her breath tickles your cheek, smelling oddly of incense. “i don’t know what we’re going to do with you, y/n.”
   “put me down.” you make a stabbing gesture into your arm and mouth lethal injection at draco. he purses his lips, clearly not taking the joke in stride. “i didn’t mean to worry you so much.”
    “you’re always worrying us,” draco hisses, which earns him a sharp look from narcissa. he meets his mothers eyes and his shoulders deflate. he runs his hands down his face. “you’re just . . . always doing something.”
    “i know,” you mumble. “sorry.”
    “draco, don’t stress them out,” says narcissa, which surprises you; you’ve always known narcissa has a secret soft spot for you, but she’s always tried her hardest to keep it just that - a secret. yet here she is, combing your hair back, giving you a cup of tea, telling her son to treat you nicely. it’s like you’ve entered a different world. “i’m gonna go and make some calls. keep them comfortable, okay?”
   draco nods, lips still pursed, forever displeased. you used to laugh at that expression on his face, but now it just makes you feel bad. 
   narcissa leaves the room, and then it’s just you and draco. you watch as he watches you, eyes never wavering, shoulders never relaxing. he’s got his arms folded over his chest like he’s keeping guard. 
    “i meant it, you know,” you say. “i didn’t mean to worry you. i thought it would be an easy job.”
    “who are you doing business with now? bailey again?”
    “no.” you look down, surprisingly shameful. “it was just for myself. i needed out of the castle, and. . .” you shrug. “you know me. i can’t do anything easy.”
   he scoffs. “yeah, i know.”
   “so i’m sorry.”
   draco closes his eyes and rubs his temples. the rings on his fingers glisten beneath the fancy lights. his knuckles pop, the veins in his arms protruding. “please stop apologising.”
   you blink. “alright.”
    “you act like i don’t understand why you’re doing all this, but i do.” he looks at you, hands dropping to his sides. “just because i don’t have to do it myself, doesn’t mean i don’t understand. why else do you think i haven’t stopped you?”
    your breath catches. you raise a brow, tilting your head cruelly. “you wouldn’t have been able to stop me. you think i’d listen to you?”
    “yeah. i think you would.”
   you reel back, jaw dropping open. “excuse-”
    “you always act like you hate me, but you forget you’ve been coming to my house for years. you forget i’ve known you since we were eleven. you forget that i don’t just put up with anyone. i’ve had time to figure you out, y/n, no matter how much you like to pretend i haven’t.” he folds his arms and leans against the door. his hair is rumpled, along with his shirt and jeans. so casual, so unlike himself. “but earlier on, in the dorms. . . you surprised me with that one.”
    your stomach curls. oh, good god, he’s bringing that up now. you’re sat here with a busted chin and a potential criminal charge, and he’s bringing this up. you could headbutt him.
    despite your glare, he continues. “i knew you didn’t hate me, but i never thought. . . i never thought you liked me, you know? especially not-”
   “don’t say it.”
   his lips twist. “i have to.”
   “no you don’t.”
    “do you love me?”
    your heart falls into the pit of your stomach, which is answer enough for you. love is such a strong word, and you could easily say no, that what you feel for draco is nothing more than a little crush. he’s got the nice blue eyes, and the money, and the perfect hair. he’s got a smile that lights up rooms. it’s a crush. you fancy him, and that’s all there is to it.
    but love sounds pretty accurate. more accurate, actually.
    you swallow. draco watches the bob of your throat, and you watch his. above your head, the massive clock ticks, ticks, ticks. 
     slowly, he reaches forward and swipes his thumb over your chin. it stings just a little, but you’ve felt worse pain, so you let him do it without jerking away. 
     “cat got your tongue?” he whispers.
    you shiver. “i don’t. . . i don’t know what you want me to say.”
    “it’s not about what i want. i was asking a simple question. just give me the truth.”
    “you want the truth?”
   he inhales, hesitates, and then nods.
    “yeah, draco,” you whisper. “i think i love you.”
     slowly, draco draws away. his eyes never leave your own, that frosty blue colour reminding you of the winter sky, or a cold december morning. you remember all those christmas’s at hogwarts when draco would stay at the castle, waking him up because you thought it would annoy him to have your face be the first thing he sees. you always commented on the dreary smile that played on his lips when you did that, and he would always say, “i thought you were someone else.”
    but that dreary smile is returning, pulling across his face, and it doesn’t falter. right now, there is no mistake. his eyes are on you, and he knows it is you, the person who has apparently made his life a living hell for so many years. you’re the ache in his spine, the one he can’t wait to get rid of.
    but you’re also the one he rescued from the rain. 
    you’re the one who cursed hermione granger when she punched him in the nose.
   you’re the one who’s just confessed your love to him.
   shit.
   “don’t look at me like that,” you say, voice hoarse. “don’t pretend you didn’t know.”
   “i didn’t know,” he says immediately, like he’s desperate for you to know he was clueless. “did you know?”
    “kind of. i wanted to ignore it-”
    draco shakes his head, waving a dismissive hand. “no, no. did you know that i love you, too?”
    you open your mouth, but no words come out. your brain just short circuits, taking a second to catch on to what he’s said. that dreary smile is still playing at his lips, and you’re waiting for the moment it turns into a sneer, a mocking little smirk.
    it doesn’t.
   “oh right,” you mumble. “no. i had no idea.” you pause. “are you taking the piss out of me?”
    he laughs, a rare and pleasant sound. he approaches you, kneels at your side on the sofa and cups your head in his hands. you melt into him, even though every instinct in your body is telling you to pull away, to run away, because this is nothing more than false hope. he’s playing a trick on you. you’ve annoyed him to breaking point, and now he’s found the perfect chance for revenge.
    but his hands are so warm, and nice, and your cheek dips into his palm so easily, like it belongs there.
    “you’ve always been kind of not smart in my eyes,” he says.
   your eyes widen. “hey!”
   “kidding. i’m kidding.” he chuckles, running his thumb along your lower lip. “but you’re not doing your intelligence any justice right now. i thought i was making my feelings pretty clear.”
   you glare; he knows full well he hasn’t made his feelings clear. neither of you have. you’ve spent the past seven years pretending to hate each other.
   he grins. “okay, maybe i didn’t make it so easy. but you didn’t make it easy for me, either.”
   “i still don’t believe you.”
   he raises a brow. “why?”
   you shrug. “it just doesn’t seem possible that someone like you could fall in love with someone like me.”
    his eyes soften. “wow. maybe you are not very smart.” 
   before you have a chance to protest, he kisses you. just like that, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, or maybe like it’s an action he’s been waiting to do for years, and now he’s finally got the chance. that’s what it’s like for you, this coil unravelling in your gut after years and years and years of ignoring it’s existence.
   you run your hands through his hair, tugging on those pesky strands at the back that always stick up because he refuses to wear anything other than collared shirts. he growls into your mouth, pulling you closer, closer, closer, until your legs are tangled with his, and his fingers are tracing a line down the centre of your throat. he stops at the hollow, just to feel the bob of your throat as nerves spiral through you. he grins against your mouth, pulling away to see the shock in your eyes.
    he’s so proud of himself. he’s made you a mess.
    you smile awkwardly, trying to regain some amount of composure. he watches you, heavy lidded, one hand still clutching your knee as the other curls around your throat, just where your neck and shoulders meet. the way he stares at you, it’s like he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it. 
     “so,” you begin. “you’re worry wasn’t actually just for your family name, was it?”
   draco sighs, plonking his forehead against your own. “no, y/n, it wasn’t. my worry was losing you. which i very nearly did tonight.”
   “don’t be so dramatic. i wouldn’t have died.”
   “you could have.”
   “but i wouldn’t have, because that guy was drunk, and a muggle, and-”
   “are you two arguing again?”
   you and draco jump apart as narcissa storms into the lounge, wand clutched to her chest. her narrowed eyes are firm on draco. 
   “i told you to keep them comfortable!” she exclaims. “can you not put your differences aside for ten minutes?”
    you grin, teasingly running a finger along draco’s spine. “yeah draco. listen to mummy.”
    he growls, but turns to narcissa and says, “sorry, mother. you know how y/n gets.”
   “yes, i know,” narcissa mumbles. “but they’re injured. now, let me take this phone call, and then we’ll set up the guest bedroom. can i leave you alone for ten more minutes?”
   “yes,” you and draco both reply immediately. narcissa hums, and walks out.
   draco immediately spins, grabs your wrist and pulls you to him, slamming his lips to yours. you laugh against his mouth, melting into the embrace for only a second before pulling away and saying, “she’s trusting us to behave for ten more minutes, draco. this isn’t behaving.”
    “oh, fuck that,” he scoffs. “come here.”
   you let him pull you closer, closer than you have ever been with him before, because you’ve always been so convinced he never wanted you more than a few feet away from him. suddenly, everything draco has ever said to you is reconstructed in your mind, every action, every little look. 
   you wonder if he’s doing the same. 
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theladyofdeath · 3 years
Text
Life As We Know It {Chapter 12}
Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.
Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.
Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby's blogs! >> @snelbz​
Life As We Know It Masterlist
Shelby’s Masterlist
Tara’s Masterlist
* In case you missed the announcement - we will now be posting chapters 3 days a week! Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. We hope you continue to enjoy the story! 
** Trigger warning: Miscarriage. 
This chapter is legit a roller coaster, ngl. Enjoy. ;)
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“You don’t have to do this, you know.”
Nesta stood in the living room of Elain’s house with Nyx on her hip, feeling guilty for dropping Nyx off for the night even though Elain was the one to offer. 
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Gives these little cousins some bonding time.” She reached out and took Nyx’s chubby little hand. “Besides, you and Cassian both need time to recoup.”
She wasn’t about to deny that. It had been a week since her not-date with Balthazar, a week since she and Cassian had uttered more than passing comments on how Nyx had acted throughout the day to each other.
Every time she looked at him, she found him already watching her and the fact got under her skin.
It became an unspoken thing that whenever she cooked dinner, she would make an extra helping and put it in the fridge for him. Not because she felt like she needed to, but because it made her feel better about their awkward arrangement. The longer time went on, the more she realized that as much as she’d been acting like taking care of Nyx together was a death sentence to her social life, he was going through the same thing.
And when she got home, she planned on making dinner for the two of them to share together. A sort of white flag of truce between them.
It was the least she could do. “Call me the second something happens-.”
“We’ll be fine,” Elain said, taking Nyx from Nesta and kissing her sister’s cheek. “Now, go. Relax. Take a bubble bath with some wine or something. Read one of those filthy books you used to hide in your closet.”
Nesta’s eyes narrowed.
Elain’s smile widened.
After a tough goodbye, Nesta was heading toward her car and driving back home, making a quick stop at the grocery store just around the corner.
She quickly got all of her fixins, prepared to make one of her favorites - salmon, rice, and green beans. A glance at the calendar that morning told her he would probably be home around five, which gave her just under two hours to make dinner. Easily doable, she’d made three-course meals in less time, for much harsher customers.
Yet she couldn’t figure out why her stomach was in knots.
*
When Cassian came home, he opened the front door and froze. The quiet in the house unnerved him. Usually, there was some random white noise to fill the house, whether that was the television or one of Nyx’s inane toys that distracted him so well. But as he walked through the house, the TV wasn’t on and he couldn’t hear much of anything.
Until he heard a throat clear from the kitchen.
Instantly, Cassian was on alert, not liking the sound at all, recognizing who it had belonged to, but silently, he made his way into the kitchen.
Nesta was sitting at the table, a plate of food in front of her, with an identical one at the spot he typically sat in.
“What’s…going on?” He asked, slowly taking another few steps into the kitchen.
Nesta stood and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, before taking it back over to where he hovered between the table and the doorway. She held the cold bottle out to him. “This is a truce.”
“A tru-?” He took it, but shook his head, not quite understanding her. “Where’s Nyx?”
“He is having a sleepover with Seph, Elain and Azriel. Elain wanted us to have a night off,” she said, sitting back down at her seat. “So I made us dinner.”
“You made us dinner?” he repeated, staring at the plates. “For the two of us to have? Together? At the same table?”
Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, unless you don’t want it.”
Cassian cleared his throat as he pulled the chair out across from her and popped open his beer. “I won’t turn down free food. Especially when it’s made by an expert.” 
Nesta said nothing more as she cut into her salmon. “An expert?”
“You get paid for cooking,” Cassian said, picking up his fork and collecting a pile of green beans. “That makes you an expert. A professional.”
“This is a lot of compliments,” she said, watching him carefully as he ate.
“Maybe I’m jumping on board with this whole truce thing,” he said, mouth full of food.
Nesta wanted to chastise him about his manners, but bit her tongue. “You weren’t on board with it to begin with?”
He chewed slowly and then set his fork down. “Neither of us have…handled this very well,” he admitted, taking a drink from his beer. “And I’m willing to take a portion of the blame, but not all of it.”
Nesta weighed his words carefully. They were blunt, but not untrue. Sure, he’d acted like an ass many times, but she had only responded in kind. She knew she could be a bitch, and she knew she did it well. Sometimes too well.
“For this to be an official truce,” she began, holding her wine glass in her hand, swirling it once, twice, “there has to be terms we both agree on.” His eyebrows raised, but she pressed on before he could speak. “Mine are that we have to communicate. When you get frustrated or pissed at me, you can’t just bottle everything up until it all explodes. And when I get overwhelmed, I promise not to snap at you or act like such a…”
“A bitch?” He provided, when she stumbled over her words, smiling around the beer bottle pressed to his lips.
She wasn’t able to stop the smile growing on her own face, as she said, “Thank you, asshole. But yes. Those are my terms.”
He took a drink and nodded. “Okay. I think I can handle those.”
“And what are your terms?” She asked, cutting into the flaky fish for another bite.
He was quiet for a moment, debating. Nesta took a sip from her wine glass while she waited, watching as thought after thought passed across his face.
“I want to get to know you,” he said, finally. “I want to know who you are and I want you to know me.”
Nesta cocked her head to the side. It was a simple request, but Nesta wasn’t exactly good at allowing people to get to know rher. “And how do you suppose we do that?”
“A simple conversation will do,” he said, shrugging. “Over salmon and alcohol. Mostly alcohol.” He reached across the small table and picked up her wine bottle, filling up her wine glass to the brim. 
“Getting me drunk so that I open up?” Nesta asked, sipping from that wine glass.
Cassian chuckled. “I would never.”
She watched her for a second, before taking another larger drink and setting it down. “Fine. Then it’s a truce.” He smirked, glancing over the table between them and then leaned over to look on the counter. “What?”
“I’m just looking for an official notice.” His smirk grew into an all out grin. “Something to sign. I figured you’d called up Tarquin and had some official documents written up.”
“You think you’re so funny.” She rolled her eyes and he chuckled, reaching an open hand across the table.
“Truce,” he said, taking her hand in his. They shook once, and Cassian was struck by how much smaller her hand was than his, yet by how firm her grip was. It was an impressive, professional handshake.
“So what do you want to know?” She asked, scooping some rice onto her fork and getting a bite of fish to go along with it.
His eyes narrowed as he thought about it and she began to wonder whether they should have laid down some boundaries. But he asked, “You went to the University of Velaris, right? What did you study there?”
Nesta blinked in surprise, not having expected the question. “Business and marketing.”
Chewing slowly, Cassian raised an eyebrow. “Nothing culinary?”
She shook her head. “No, I liked cooking, but I never thought it would become my career. I majored in business and marketing, with a minor in communications.”
“That sounds…” He fought for the words for a second. “Boring.”
Taking a drink of her wine, Nesta chuckled. “Oh, it was,” she admitted. “The longest four years of my life, but I’ve got the pretty, little diploma with my name written on it to show for them.”
“And how did you learn about food? How to cook?”
She shrugged. “I taught myself. I graduated college and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I got a data entry job at a marketing firm and spent my free time in the kitchen, trying and testing and tasting.” She paused, and her eyes fell to her plate. “Before my dad died, he listened to my idea about starting a small restaurant, with a few of my favorite recipes on the menu. He left me the money to do it in his will.”
“And now?” he pressed, although his voice held a certain gentleness. “Are you successful and thriving?”
Nesta snorted. “I make enough to live and pay the few of servers I have. If that’s successful, then I suppose.”
Cassian nodded in appreciation. “I’d say it is. What about the future? Bigger restaurant? Multiple restaurants?” 
“Someday,” Nesta said, with a longing in her voice. “And what about you? And your guitars? Surely you don’t want to be a bartender forever.”
Cassian shrugged. “I don’t mind the bartending. Good tips and I meet a lot of interesting people.”
“But?” Nesta asked. 
“But,” Cassian repeated, huffing a laugh. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t exactly say that managing a bar is my passion.” 
“So, guitars then?” Nesta asked, brow raised. “You’re really talented. Your guitars are beautiful.”
Cassian’s eyes shot to hers, wide as he slowly set down his fork. “Holy shit, did you just compliment me?”
Nesta’s lips pursed as she kicked his shin under the table.
“I’ve always been good with my hands. Not like that,” he said, pointing at her when he saw the smirk growing. “I mean, creating things, playing instruments, even something as mundane as making drinks. If it’s something I can do with my hands, I typically love it and nine times out of ten, I’m good at it.” There was none of the cockiness she’d come to know in his voice. Just pure explanation, and a bit of devotion. “I’ve tried my hand at making furniture and little knickknacks, but there’s nothing that compares to building an instrument from scratch.”
“And you do it all? Yourself?” She asked, taking another bite.
He nodded. “I start with a few rough pieces of wood. Sand it, stain it, and boom, brand new guitar.”
Snorting, she lifted her wine glass to her lips. “I think you may have missed a few steps in there.”
“Well, I didn’t want to bore you,” he chuckled.
“How long have you been playing guitar?” Nesta asked, finishing off the last of her food.
Cassian took a minute to think about it, then shrugged, finishing off his beer. “As long as I can remember. I grew up with my mom in Illyria. They live simply up there. Music is…a way of life. It grew on me quickly. Mom bought me my first guitar that a friend of hers had made before I could even walk.”
Nesta chuckled, quietly. “Just like you did for Nyx.”
Cassian nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. Another drink?” he asked, nodding toward her emptied glass.
“Sure,” she said. “But, wine is gone. I think there’s some tequila in the cabinet.”
Cassian lifted a brow as he rose. “Tequila?”
Nesta grinned as he went to the cabinet. “Make me a drink, bartender?”
Cassian laughed as he grabbed the glass bottle from the cabinet. “I can. What’ll it be? Tequila sunrise? Margarita? Pretty sure we have some lime juice, somewhere.”
“I’m not picky,” Nesta promised.
She heard him laugh. “Somehow, I have a hard time believing that, Archeron.”
“Only where it counts,” she replied, smiling at him. She picked up their empty plates and rinsed them off, loading them into the dishwasher. Turning, she found him setting a shot glass with salt on the rim down on the counter. She chuckled. “That’s not what I asked for.”
“First of all, you technically didn’t ask for anything in particular,” he said, pointing at her as he crossed the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Secondly, this is the most classic drink I can make you with tequila. It’s the oldest recipe in the books.”
She outright laughed. “That’s cause it’s just straight tequila.”
“Exactly,” he grinned and damn it, if her heart didn’t skip a beat. “I lied, no lime juice.”
“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms. “But if I’m doing sloppy shots, you’re joining me.”
“Oh, I never say no to shots,” he said, grabbing another from the cabinet. 
He filled them up, and slid one to Nesta, who took the glass in her hand and held it up.
Cassian clinked his against hers, and they tossed them back. 
Nesta’s face didn’t change a bit, and Cassian met her steady eyes. “Impressive.” 
“Not my first tequila shot, Nazari,” she said, hopping up to sit on the counter. “What else do you want to ask me?”
He leaned down on the countertop, letting his arms lay flat. “Hmm.” He let his fingers drum quietly. “What did you want to be when you grew up? Or was it always a chef?”
She scrunched up her nose. “I was convinced I was going to be a doctor, I wanted to help people. But then I found out how many years of school was required to be a doctor. So I decided I wanted to be a nurse.”
Cassian carefully poured a couple more shots. “And what happened to that dream?”
“I found out that the sight of blood makes me queasy. Sometimes I throw up, sometimes I pass out.”
He laughed. “That seems like enough to throw off a career plan.”
“Yep,” she admitted, picking her wine glass up.
Cassian filled up the shot glasses, once more, and slid hers back to her. She set down her wine glass and snorted as she tossed it back.
“You know what we should do?” Nesta asked, and Cassian lifted a brow in question. “Go for a swim. We’ve been here over a month and have yet to use the pool that I’ve been cleaning, daily.”
Cassian took his shot before watching her, closely. “Last one in has to share their deepest, darkest secret.”
Nesta scoffed. “What are we, children?”
Cassian grinned as he pushed himself back from the counter. “Scared of a little competition? Afraid to lose?”
They stared at each other in silence for a minute before Nesta jumped off the counter, and ran up the stairs to throw on her swimsuit.
Cassian and his heavy footsteps were close behind.
It took her a few minutes to remember where her swimsuits had been packed, and from the slamming of drawers down the hall, it seemed Cassian was in a similar predicament. She finally found a two piece stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer, not exactly what she had been looking for, and hesitated before stripping down and pulling the bottoms on. Nesta was out her bedroom door before she even had the top fully tied, pulling it into a hastily tied bow behind her back. Her feet carried her as she flew down the stairs, but she froze when she opened the sliding glass door and found him already in the water.
He grinned from where he had his muscular arms resting on the side of the pool, and his hair was soaked, pushed back off of his face. With the wide smile on his face, he looked so much younger, almost boyish.
With a sigh, Nesta turned and walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a couple beers in each hand and made her way back onto the lit up patio.
“I win,” he said, smirking up at her.
The tongue she stuck out at him wasn’t her most quick witted response, but she was trying not to let her eyes drift beneath the water. When she suggested the pool, she hadn’t been thinking of how much skin would be on display, for either of them.
“That’s because you only had one piece to put on,” Nesta said, sitting near him by the edge and handing him a drink.
“Hey, if you only wanted to put on one of those pieces, I wouldn’t have stopped you,” he protested, and Nesta had to hide the way his suggestive tone, those words, made her blush. 
He didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he popped open his beer and took a long, slow drink.
“So how about that secret?” He asked, voice lowering. 
“Hmmm,” she crooned, tapping her chin. “Which to share when I have so many to choose from?”
Cassian chuckled. “You would have an endless string of secrets. Come on, what skeletons are in your closet? Something you’ve never told anyone else.”
Nesta had a lot of those, too. She wasn’t exactly the “open” type.
There was one true secret she kept though. One that no one else had known, not even Feyre or Elain. Just her and…
She hesitated and he looked up at her, caught the look on her face. “What?”
Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t want to kill the mood.”
The hand holding the bottle was right next to her thigh, and he let his pinky skim over her skin. “That kind of secret, huh?”
She gnawed into her lip, nodding.
“I’ll tell you mine, if it helps,” Cassian said, looking up into her face.
She slipped into the pool, thankful the water was warm, and shook her head. “That wasn’t our agreement.”
He stayed quiet, letting her process her own thoughts.
Sinking beneath the water, Nesta re-emerged, slicking her hair back. After a steadying breath, she said, “I’m sure you remember Tomas, my ex who interrupted our date?”
The mention of their date surprised Cassian, after so many weeks of them dancing around it. He nodded.
“We were together for a long time, you know? All through college.” She wasn’t looking at him, wouldn’t meet his eye. “I got pregnant just after our senior year. I had never wanted kids, you know? Wasn't the family type, at all. Never saw myself having a family. Anyway,” she continued, shaking her head. “It didn’t matter. I miscarried.”
Cassian continued to look at her, continued to watch as she stared blankly ahead. 
“I got excited about it, too, which is ridiculous,” she went on. “For a moment, for those few weeks that I thought Tomas and I would be starting a family… I actually got excited.”
“How far along were you?” He asked, gently.
She answered immediately, with no hesitation. “Thirteen weeks. It was like one day I was pregnant, carrying our child and the next… The baby was gone.” She was quiet for a moment. “I woke up one morning and there was blood, so much blood. Tom was already at work, so I drove myself to the hospital, but there was nothing they could do.”
Cassian recognized the slow blinking, knew she was reliving those slow, sad moments again.
“I was dying inside, trying to come to terms with the fact that our baby was gone, and Tomas got home and-.” She took a deep breath and looked over at him. “He asked what I was making for dinner. He didn’t even acknowledge that our child was gone and… l guess that’s when I decided to do the same. To pretend nothing happened. We didn’t really talk much about it. We never told our families, I never told Feyre or Elain. Our father died about a month later and it all seemed so insignificant at that point. But Tom and I never recovered, our relationship at least. We broke up a few months later and…” Nesta shrugged. “Life kept going. I decided to open my restaurant and never looked back.”
“I’m sorry,” Cassian said, quietly.
She finally looked at him and shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”
“That doesn’t make it any less painful of a memory,” he countered.
She just nodded. “It’s how it was supposed to be though, right? Wasn't meant to be.”
Cassian took another drink as he nodded, slowly.
“Anyway,” she began, clearing her throat before dunking herself back down under the water.
“Would you like my secret?” He asked, when she turned and rested her arms on the edge of the pool.
She shrugged. “If you feel so inclined. You didn’t lose the bet.”
He leaned back, letting his arms drape across the edge of the pool as well. “When I was eighteen, I broke my back. I decided to take a year off before I started school, and was working construction over the summer to save money. I wanted to travel for a while. But then I took a bad fall off a roof. I spent two weeks in the hospital and then was stuck in my bed for another ten. And Rhys and Az stayed by my side the whole time. They put off their last hoorah vacations before they went off to college to stay with me.”
Nesta’s eyes drifted to Cassian, drops falling from her lashes. “Doesn’t seem like a secret if people know about it.” 
“You didn’t know,” he shot back.
Nesta smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Fair. That sounds awful.”
“It was,” he agreed. “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I don’t like to stay still for very long.”
“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Nesta said, a little spark returning to her eye. “It was torture,” he followed, finishing off his drink. “Not being able to move. I played so many damn board games that I never want to look at one ever again.”
“Even if Nyx asks?” Nesta inquired.
Cassian gave her a lopsided grin. “Well, he’s the exception.” Nesta laughed, and Cassian shook his head. “I’d do anything for that kid. I think Rhys knew that, when he named me godfather.”
She understood that, related to it completely. Especially considering they had been named godparents together, regardless of their mutual distaste for the other. Their love for Nyx, for Rhys and Feyre, had been evident to everyone.
“I miss him,” she admitted, resting her cheek on the concrete. “I know it’s only one night, and I’m beyond appreciative, but… It’s weird not having him right inside.”
He nodded. “I get it. I do, too. I know Az and Elain can take care of him, and I’m sure he had a blast with Seph before they went to bed, but it hasn’t stopped me worrying about him.”
Nesta nodded, stretching her back. She took a drink from her beer. “Did you ever want kids of your own?”
He blew out a harsh breath and drained his own bottle before answering. “I never really considered it much, when I was younger. After my back healed, I was so focused on getting back to life that relationships and dating weren’t high on my priority list-.”
“But fucking was?” Nesta asked, smirking.
He rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly with a shoulder. “Maybe I was interested in sex more than relationships, I’ll admit. But before I knew it, my early twenties had come and gone. Everyone I knew was getting married and had babies on the way and… I was still the one living the bachelor life and decided to just run with it.”
“I get that,” Nesta agreed. “After…everything that happened with Tomas, I never wanted that again. My date with you and my date with Balthazar are the only two proper dates I’ve been on since college.”
Cassian lifted a brow. “And have you been on any improper dates?”
Nesta didn’t answer. Instead, her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she finished off her beer.
Cassian’s grin widened. “I never knew you were such a freak, Archeron.”
“Oh, fuck off,” she muttered, which just made him laugh harder. 
“I must admit, it’s nice to hear you talking about our infamous date so often tonight,” Cassian said, pulling himself out of the pool.
Nesta couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles flexed, how the drops of water streamed down his back, between his shoulders, down to his waistline and the swim trunks, which rode low on his hips. She cleared her throat. “I didn’t say anything nice about that date, did I?”
“Absolutely not, but is there really anything nice to say?” he asked, sliding the screen door open. “I mean, you were an absolute nightmare.”
She gawked after him as he went inside, and once he came back with a small pyramid of beer cans, Nesta said, “I was a nightmare? You were a complete disaster!”
He scoffed, setting the cans down and cannon balling back into the pool. Even though she was already in the water, Nesta couldn’t help the squeal that left her. Cassian was grinning when he came up for air. “I forgot my wallet. I fully intended to pay you back, both monetarily and with the best sex you’d ever had in your life, but you decided to get huffy, stomp back to your front door and slam it in my face.”
“Oh, please,” Nesta said, reaching for a can and popping it’s top. Foam erupted from the opening and she put her mouth to it before it could drip into the pool. “You were over twenty minutes late, you wore work boots and a leather jacket to the nicest restaurant in Velaris, and we ran into your fuck buddy.” She drank deeply from the can, emptying it in one go. “As for the best sex I’ve ever had in my life, I’ve become very accustomed to and am just fine with my own hand, so you’re going to have to try pretty hard to do better than I myself can.”
She wiggled her fingers in his face and before she could register what was happening, his hand was wrapped around her own. As if he didn’t already know that. Cassian had caught her getting herself off in the bathtub, a memory that was seared into both of their heads. He tugged her closer and the empty can fell from her hands, floating on top of the water.
“I was talking about the past, sweetheart, but you seem to be talking about the present,” he breathed as her chest brushed against his own. “Who says my offer still stands all these years later?”
“You’d be a fool not to make that offer,” she breathed, and she knew the scent of beer was all he was breathing in. 
“And would you accept it if I were?” he asked, one hand still wrapped around hers, the other snaking its way around her waist. “Still offering?” 
Nesta’s breath hitched as their mouths grew so close, too close, close enough to reach out and taste his lips with a brush of her tongue.
It was tempting.
It would be stupid. Alcohol fogging her brain or not, Nesta knew it would be stupid.
But it was tempting, and in that moment, there were very few things Nesta could think about other than his hands against her skin, his lips a breadth width away from her own, and his cock she could very prominently feel twitching against her thigh. 
Nesta’s lips brushed softly against his as she said, “Try and find out.” 
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angelkurenai · 3 years
Text
Wish upon - Bucky Barnes x Reader
Title: Wish upon
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: None
Summary: You were close when Wanda’s grief took over and she inevitably started controling an entire town, including you. Being her closest friend, though, instead of simply playing along, you were given a normal life of your own, with a daughter and husband whom you knew very well but never thought you had feelings for. Months later as you try to figure out your emotions for Bucky, the man seems to be trying to find every reason to stay close to you. Including asking you to join him when he’s ready to follow Sam in his adventures.
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“Is that... Is that what I think it is?” you blinked several times, head tilted as you took in the object your husband was, full of pride you could clearly tell, holding and showing off to you.
“You bet it is. Polished, glittered or bedazzled, I can never tell the difference it's equally sparkly anyway, but above all ready to deliver justice. It's finally finished. Right on time at that.” he set the small pink and sparkly shield on the kitchen counter, right next to the baby bottle you'd just filled, because he knew just as well as you did that it was honestly the only way you'd keep looking at the toy and hoped that you'd like it. Which you did, sure, but not in the way Bucky hoped. “Well, what do you say about it?”
“I say that it would certainly deliver justice, no doubt by dazzling the bad guys first and foremost. Besides-” you tore your eyes away from the toy to narrow them at your husband “Just on time for what?”
“Halloween, of course.” he shrugged casually as he slowly made to reach for a piece of the potatoes you'd cooked to have on the side for dinner, but you noticed him and slapped his hand away, earning a not-so-innocent smile in return “I mean... What else is there else to talk about, of significance, in a small town like Westview besides holidays and who the new otherworldly couples in town are. The second having little to no point when one's wife can read minds, amongst so many other things, and said one is a metal-armed 106-year-old.” he sighed, raising his metal arm which he usually kept covered when outside “Honestly, I don't know who're gonna get called out on it first. Wanda and Vision or us.”
“We're handling it great. Besides, oh well a 15 year old gap is so overrated anyway. I tell you, 106 is the new 30, don't you worry a second, dear. You don't look a day over that.” you smiled sweetly, leaning in to peck his lips as he grinned.
“Ah yes, coming from the woman who last time we fought you told me that it's time to stop mourning over my buddy Rexi the dinosaur cause they're all gone now.” he said with a raised eyebrow and you shrugged.
“I don't see what you mean, I was still right.” you brushed him off, checking once more the temperature of the milk “Besides, getting off track here? You still haven't explained to me how that lovely and sparkly shield is of any use to us in Halloween?”
“Well, not us, obviously.” he turned to, according to everyone including him, his little princess “Jean of course!” he picked one of her hands and let her tiny fingers wrap around one of his as she let a giggle when he kissed her belly “It's all you've been talking about with Wanda these days. Her boys have their suits already in mind, it wouldn't be right for Jean to not have hers. It's her first Halloween anyway, even if she can't do any proper trick or treat yet.”
“I'm well aware of that, seeing as I've been planning all of ours suits. And no-” you raised a finger when you saw him raise an interested eyebrow “No, I'm not wearing the skirt version of it. Besides, what we're talking about here is Jean and I still fail to see how a shield will be any part of our little Phoenix's suit.”
“Well, because it's Halloween and she's- Well, she's part of this and she'll- The shield is part of the suit, honey. Obviously. I don't see what confuses you so much as to-”
“And I don't see what confuses you so much that you'd make a shield for her, beautiful as it might be, even though it has no place in all of it. Especially after I made it quiet clear on what costume will be.” you pointed out, baby bottle back on the counter as you crossed your arms over your chest “Honestly, I would rather her have a sparkly version of Sam's redwing before incorporating the shield in her phoenix look.”
He let silence fill the room, save for your daughter's adorable baby noises, before he finally spoke in all seriousness “No, no you wouldn't. You hate that thing too... It was the main reason that made me ask the question, like when you realize you've met your soulmate.”
“I-” only half a pause before you nodded “Yeah, you're right. I hate it... although I can't really remember how it looks like sometimes to be honest. Huh weird.” you let out a breathless laugh, frowning nonetheless.
“Oh how I'd wish for that sort of blessing.” he huffed “Including its owner.”
“Hush you love him!” you hit his shoulder “And, well, that's still all besides the point. Because Jean is not going to have a redwing or shield to her phoenix look in any sort of way. Maybe next Halloween if you wanna choose the costume, fine by me. But this year I am following through with my plans and not changing my mind.”
“Plans of what? Her being a phoenix bird? I get it, it's all magical and what not but-”
“Not just any phoenix bird, geez weez, do you not even listen when I speak, Mr Barnes?” you shook your head with a roll of your eyes.
“Well, sometimes it gets impossibly hard when you look as stunning as today, Mrs Barnes. Sadly all words fade away and as I am captured by your beauty all I can seem to hear is kiss me. How can I not comply?” he said so innocently and with such an adorable smile you couldn't help your fond one in return.
Seeing such adoration and love written all over your face had your heart on overdrive again, as if it was the first time you realized you were in love with him again. It was incredible how you could barely remember that moment whenever you thought about it, however you didn't care. You couldn't find yourself to care when looking at him had your chest fill with warmth, a pleasant buzz all over your body and no weight dragging you down. He made things more simple, having his love and having him by his side made life have meaning and your future full of hope. It hadn't been easy, that much in a way you could remember, but you knew it was worth it because he was worth it. You wanted to give him all your love, wishing that it could live up to the one in his eyes for you in return, so that he could understand what you did from the first moment you met him: he deserved it.
And even if- you couldn't explain why you thought so, but even if there were ever people that would willingly leave him behind, even if you'd never understand that, you were ready to show to him that you could and would be with him till the end of the line. This love you had in you for him had sealed the deal long before you even knew about it.
If anything, you were more than willing to live in this small town, heavens in these four walls of your house, so long as you had him by your side and were able to give him all the love you didn't know you had for him.
You shook your head lightly and gave him “Sweet talking me will get you nowhere, darling. Or rather-” you paused, smirking at him “It might get you in one place. The bedroom.” you grinned when you saw his eyebrows raise in interest “To get Jean's suit. Cause I remember I have some adjustments to make.”
“Bet you do.” he huffed like a little child “Cause she'll be a bird and not a superhero who-”
“Not just a phoenix bird, Buck. The phoenix, that's different.” you pointed out, making him frown.
“How is that different? And what... is the phoenix?”
“Well, it's-” you started but paused abruptly, frowning at your own thoughts “It's actually-” you blinked several time and let out a nervous laugh “Funny thing, I... can't remember. Wow that's... it happens all the more often lately.”
“Can't be important then, right?” he brushed it off casually even though you kept frowning in deep thought which for some reason didn't lead anywhere “Certainly no more than Jean's suit that it... And how we could incorporate a shiel-”
“No.” you cut him off before he could get to complete his sentence “Not gonna happen. I've already got everything planned, you're not going to ruin my plans.”
“Is this how it's gonna go every Halloween now? Us fighting over what Jean's costume will be until she's old enough to choose herself?”
“Oh dear, of course not. It's not fighting when you don't stand a chance against me in the first place.” you shrugged innocently and he tried to look stern by narrowing his eyes at you but you smiled and pecked his lips before speaking “I mean, you could never say no to these pretty eyes, could you?” you batted your eyes at him and he very fast, much faster than last time, sighed in defeat and nodded his head “Besides, you don't have to worry. Next Halloween we'll make her a costume that incorporates the shield too, happy?”
“Always.” he breathed out with such ease that it took a few seconds for you to not openly stare at just how much relaxed he looked, how he truly meant it and how shockingly different he looked while admitting it compared to only a few months ago... months, you weren't sure of the time anymore but truth was that you didn't care, because if there was one thing you could remember was that he had not always been like this and to have him truly happy made everything worth it.
“However-” he cleared his throat, as if noticing how you'd zoned out “That doesn't really solve the problem. Having to compromise, you know. Why should any of us have to? However, if we were to have more than one option...” he trailed off, leaning in closer without any regard for your personal space, not that he needed to, as you narrowed your eyes suspiciously at him “Say... if we were to have more than one options then things wouldn't be this hard, right? Just... to make it easier on ourselves?”
“Make it easier... how exactly?”
His hands found your hips, earning a small giggle from you as he pecked your neck once, twice and three times before he kissed your cheek and the temple, whispering in the end “Let's make more.” it earned a squeal from your as your eyes widened but he grinned even more widely “Come on, think about it. A little boy or maybe another baby girl, Jean would make a great sister. And we wouldn't have to argue about the Halloween costumes. Besides... would be a fun process either way.”
“You have to be kidding me.” you gave him a serious expression but his hopeful smile- no, scratch that. His smile that was bordering that of an idiot, if not lovesick one (but you were on the same boat on that), didn't fade in the least bit “Oh you have to- Alright, Mr Barnes, how about you learn how to feed your daughter without making a mess first and then you can come and talk to me about a second or third one hm? Cause, good as you might be at changing diapers, it ain't just that.”
“She just makes a mess because she enjoys to laugh at my expense, just like you and Sam.” he pointed out and you fought back a smile “And- Hold up a second... did you just say third? You think you're gonna let me ask for a third one too?”
Your eyes widened when you realized that he was really considering the prospect before your lips parted, you being ready to retort-
Only for no words to be uttered after that from your lips. The only sound being a deep intake of air as you were startled awake. Soon followed by a groan as you took in your surroundings and realized you were sadly still in your room. Sadly? Really? You didn't know if that was the case but even if it was, you didn't want to think even more about it. You buried your face in your pillow, not ready to face the day yet because... who were you even kidding? You wanted to go back to it. If not that fake reality, if not the playhouse that Wanda had built out of her grief and had dragged you into it as well - and maybe you hated yourself for how part of you did want that - then at least your dream would be nice.
It's been months and yet it feels as if it's been just yesterday that you were all released from her control. How could you not feel that way after all? When you were awake, the fake reality you'd thought your life was constantly on your mind, and when you were asleep even if you were not thinking of it, you were dreaming about it. It was constantly on your mind. And as if the experience itself, mind-control and all, hadn't left you with a few mental scares to add to your already existing ones to take care of, then the realization of the truth that lay within your own heart, was more than enough to keep the events replaying on your mind day and night.
To put matters simply: when you had followed your best friend, Wanda, after seeing her so distraught, leaving SWORD, you had never thought you'd find yourself playing house with a fake copy of one and only James Bucky Barnes thanks to said best friend. But while there was a chance for that, you never thought there was a chance that you'd realize you had feelings for the man all along.
Your life had been different there. Maybe because you were always close with the other Avenger, who knew. While there were times where you'd experience Wanda's grief, her nightmares from time to time came to haunt you at night just like it did with the rest of the town, your life was mostly... good. No, forget that, your life was nearly perfect. You had everything you wished for and things you didn't even know you had wished for. Maybe deep down you had always wanted it, a normal life, peace and calm, a kid whether it was yours or not... Bucky. You had probably always wanted him but didn't know it yourself, no doubt you were too busy crushing over Steve.
If only your current self could see your past self, or at least self of barely a year ago, you'd have smacked some sense into your stupid self who thought Steve Rogers was the only man you could ever have eyes for. While you had come to be very close with the Captain and ended up doing almost everything together, everyone thought there was much more to the two of you, that it hadn't even occurred to you to think that Steve wasn't really the one you wanted. Maybe you had convinced yourself so, in a way that now that he was no longer there you were more shaken by the fact that you were not shaken by how he had decided to live his life with Peggy in the past than his absence itself.
You had not felt any sort of betrayal, nor that you were suddenly all alone, certainly not as if anything was missing from your life. Granted, you had plenty to think about most of the time, day and night, but that didn't change things. You wished Steve had had a happy ending and you would on the occasion miss him the way you'd miss... a brother. You were always calm, no worries or fears, content with the fact that you knew he had been happy even if it was away from you because, in a way, you wanted it to be that way, it was natural. However, the mere thought of someone else leaving, someone that you thought far too often about, made your heart leap to your throat and your stomach tie in knots. The mere thought that Bucky could leave the way Steve had done made your throat close in a painful way and your eyes burn with tears, making you realize just who mattered the most.
If, again, Wanda plucking the truth about your feelings for the man to give you a life with him wasn't proof enough.
Your phone buzzing made you jump once more, eyes landing on the device on the nightstand. Reaching for it you were not surprised to see the messages that were pilled in your inbox. All from the same specific someone. A specific someone you had found yourself speaking with all the more often lately. Each time successfully managing to make you smile in one way or another, without fail.
Good morning. :)
Did I use that one correctly? I keep forgetting them, no matter how many times you show me.
And show him you had, just like that there was an option for him to choose from different ones instead of having to type them, but that was still work in progress. So even if Bucky learning emojis was a memory that you'd cherish forever, it wasn't the only important one at the moment.
On second thought, it's a bit too early.
You're probably still asleep. Nevermind. Sorry for bothering you.
And then more, shortly afterwards.
I only wanted to know if you're alright, that's all.
Anyway, hope I didn't wake you up.
He, much like everyone else, thought it was hard on you to deal with Steve being gone so he did his best to keep in touch and being as selfish as you were, you didn't bring yourself to tell him the truth that you cared more to know about how he was and wanted the contact for that. Maybe he was also worried about you after Wanda's mind-control too. But if Sam's words were anything to go by, then it was all an excuse for Bucky to stay close with you. You didn't let your hopes get up for that reason though. You could gladly take whatever you got without wondering.
Again it was followed not much later by another message.
I've actually got something to talk to you about. Something happened, though you could already know if you saw the news. Can I come over to talk with you? I need your opinion on the matter.
And shortly afterwards came.
I've already got your favorite breakfast. To make up for, probably, waking you up. :)
The next one had taken longer, he had probably been waiting for an answer all that time. You couldn't help but feel bad about it. That and the fact that the reason behind you not replying earlier was because of how immensed you were in your fantasy life with him that you had not told him a thing about.
(Y/n)... are you sure you're alright? It's getting late even for you.
Truth was you had more trouble waking up after having a dream of that time. But you couldn't tell him that. And then there was the latest one.
Alright, I'm coming over. I really hope you're not dead in there. I'm not going to let you hear the end of it if you are. Oh dear, I sound like Sam right now. Forget I ever said that. Both of it.
Before you even had the time to think about what he could mean, because no you had really not seen the news yet, let alone type back a reply, the door to your bedroom burst open. It earned a squeal from you as you looked with wide eyes at Bucky standing on the doorway. You weren't even surprised how you hadn't heard him, not when he already had keys to your apartment and could easily sneak up on you. Not that him surprising you was what you cared about at the moment. It was, and you could only admit it to yourself, more important how you looked at the moment – and having just woken up you weren't sure just how attractive you looked – than anything else. Especially when Bucky looked better than ever with that new haircut that you were sure he'd gotten on purpose, just to test how much your heart could take.
“I thought doors existed back in your days, Barnes. Maybe knocking was an option too.”
You saw him let out a sigh of relief, shoulders relaxing “What would have been the point if you were dead? You wouldn't have replied anyway.”
“Bold of you to assume I would miss on another chance to lecture you about the proper use of emojis, Mr Barnes. Even death could not stop me.” you broke into a grin and he chuckled.
“What, did I really mess it up?” he asked with a small, far too adorable for your own good, frown.
“Oh no you got it just right.” you said softly, adoring the proud look on his face before you added “However, I've told you, you don't have to type them anymore. There is an option on your keyboard with that kind of stuff for you to-”
“Eh alright, alright I get it. I suck at it. I'm not even gonna try using them anymore.”
“Wha- No!” you whined softly “No, Buck, I didn't mean that. Come on, you're good. You just... have a lot to learn still.” you shrugged “That's all. We didn't do great at first either. Nobody really got emojis a first, but you'll get the hang of it.”
“But you still think I am a grandpa when it comes to technology. And my age doesn't help on that case either.” he shrugged, as if he meant it casually as a joke but you could see a small hint of self-consciousness there as well.
“Nonsense.” you said softly, finally throwing the blankets off you “You're far from a grandpa, Buck. In fact, I strongly believe that 106 is the new 30, and you don't look a day over that.” the words were out of your lips before you could even think about it and when you realized what you'd said, your smile flattered a bit. You were glad his back was turned to on that second that he didn't notice. You cleared your throat, sobering up “Besides, new things are not everyone's cup of tea anyway.”
“Uh yeah...” you notice the relaxed, and almost happy, look fade away from his face as his eyebrows pulled back into a frown. He looked down for a second, leaning against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets “Things do change. Sometimes faster than we can adapt to the new world around us.”
“Alright, unless you're channeling Charles Darwin right now, which I don't think you are, care to explain to me what's wrong? Because... I am guessing something is, judging by your expression.” you got up and approached “Is this... about the shield? I- I don't know if Sam giving it up is that much of a good choice however... he must have his reasons, right?”
“Well, yes, but- this is not just about that.” he sighed, finally looking up to meet your eyes “Something happened and I've been thinking about it, I wanted your opinion on it. You know it matters to me.”
“...And? There is more to that, come on. Tell me.” you knew him too well and you hadn't even realized when that happened too “You know you can... Always.”
“I do.” he paused for a moment, holding your gaze before he let a soft sigh “It's just, I am going to go find Sam and... I want you to come with me. If you're up for it, I would like you to be there with me... maybe?”
“You know... I should punch you just for doubting whether I'd follow you or not. But just because it won't lead anywhere for me-” you smirked at him “Buy me dinner too and consider yourself excused and me up for any challenge. Strongest Avenger at your disposal, Mr Barnes.” you patted his shoulder, enjoying the deep chuckle that came from him. Even if his next words made the air get caught in your throat.
“It's a date then.”
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360iris · 3 years
Note
do you have any wips? sorry i’m just curious, i’m in love with your writing
Luv, Hold Me Down (Sirius Black x Reader, WIP)
Warning: Mature themes? I don’t know with this one.
Word count: 2,209
A/N: You’re gonna hate my ass because I have zero intention to finish the smut on this one shdhd. Maybe when I’m less busy I’ll come back and update it (although not atm). There are typos galore too so I’m sorry in advance!
—————————————-
The infamous Bubblegum Bomb Incident of 1972. Casualties: one.
During Year Two, Sirius had resolved to get revenge on Cissy’s insufferable boyfriend ever since he tripped him in the halls to get a laugh out of his Slytherin lackeys; and what better way to do that than ruining his precious platinum locks.
It was suppose to be a quick and untraceable procedure. He’d get to personally serve Lucius his own brand of justice and the job would be completed without having to suffer detention.
If only you hadn’t been rushing through the halls that day.
Lunch had just ended, and you were haphazardly ducking and dodging through the wave of students, on your way to visit Remus. He’d been sentenced to a strict, three day period of consistent bed-rest in the infirmary after a particularly bad transformation.
You’d just wanted to bring him a slice of his favorite Hogwarts style coconut cream pie, but one wrong turn and you were suddenly bombarded with three quick pelts of homemade exploding bubblegum bullets.
Sirius had designed them to be quick and lethal with their distribution of rubbery goo so that the target's hair was sure to be ruined.
The first shot sent the small plate in your hands completely airborne. The next two hit you square in the chest, knocking you fully onto your back.
The aftermath was so extreme that it took the combined effort of Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, and eventually, the guiding hand of Madam Pomfrey to free you from the sticky sludge and off of the stone pavement.
By the time they’d got to the infirmary, your entire head of hair had been deemed unsalvageable by sweet Poppy, and the only thing she could figure to do was shave it clean off by hand.
You’d spent the next two days unexpectedly alongside a tired Remus, confined in the sick bay, crying your eyes out hysterically. You’d had no idea who had done this to you or why.
That was until the third day, when Poppy finally allowed visitors in, in hopes of lifting your spirits.
Your guests included:
An empathetic Lily and Mary, both girls bringing you and Remus an abundance of flowers from the greenhouses, with explicit approval from Professor Sprout; alongside the homework you’d missed and plenty of junk foods.
An overzealous Marlene who’d spent the entirety of the three days drafting up and collecting signatures for a petition to permanently ban disruptive joke shop type inventions.
And lastly, an uncharacteristically stonefaced James and solemn Sirius who both quietly observed the crucially placed scarf on your head meant to distract from your current state of baldness.
“Go on then. Tell her, man. It’s only proper.” James said abruptly with folded arms, for the first time ever foregoing his usual impeccable home-taught manners and any form of courteous greetings altogether.
You watched confused as Sirius stood some several feet away, staring directly down at his shoes. After another coarse verbal prod from James, he stepped forward, eyes wide and brows furrowed.
“I- You have to understand, I couldn’t have known, Y/N! It happened so suddenly and before I knew it, it was too late!” He pleaded desperately and you weren’t quite understanding what he meant.
“I don’t follow, Sirius. What are you on about?” You asked, watching as he began wringing his hands.
He looked over to James again, seemingly pleading for aid that wouldn’t come. James looked positively severe, intent on standing by his decision to have the boy do this by himself.
“I- I was the one who blew the gum bullets.” Sirius finally whispered, looking positively terrified of your reaction. “But I didn’t intend on hitting you, I promise! It was for that git Malfoy! Remember when he tripped me in front of all of those sixth years last month? I’d been working on a way to get him back ever since! You’ve got to believe me, Y/N!”
But you’d stopped listening after the initial reveal. Your blood ran cold and it was hard to focus on anything in particular before suddenly all of your senses came rushing back in, and you were furious.
And even though James and Remus had been gauging your response, neither could have been quick enough to match the speed at which you pulled off both of your slippers and hurled them at the older boy’s face.
Successfully managing to clock him so hard, he reflexively reached up to clutch his sore, but still intact nose.
After that day, you had deemed Sirius public enemy number one, he managed to outrank even the silver-spoon fed Slytherins and that antagonizing blight, Peeves.
While there were tonics for quickening hair growth, you cursed Sirius Orion Black, every time you had to awkwardly apply a plethora of random oils to your scalp and walk around campus bald for an entire semester.
When he looked your way, you glared back mercilessly. If he dared to even address you, your responses were far from being deemed PG-13.
He’d spent the first six months wearily but consistently trying to apologize, however the damage had already been done, and it’d destroyed any semblance of friendship he’d crafted with you beforehand.
So after a while, he gave up. If you were going to hate him regardless of his actions, he figured he might as well stand up for himself during the bickering matches that transpired whenever the two of you were less than six feet apart.
Over the years, you’d remained bestfriends with Remus and James, though they could never hang out with the both of you at the same time.
For example, if you were eating breakfast with the two boys in The Great Hall and Sirius arrived late after sleeping in, you’d promptly roll your eyes and slide away to talk with Lily.
——
“That most definitely is not healthy, James.” You grimaced, tilting your head back laughing. The book in your lap, long since abandoned from the moment your bestfriends entered the common room.
“Muggle five second rule, Y/N! You were the one who told me about it to begin with!” He grinned from his spot sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of you.
You couldn’t help bursting into a fit of giggles, desperately trying to respond. “Rem- Remus! Please! Inform him that it doesn't apply to dropping a sandwich down an entire flight of stairs!”
“Believe me I tried, but he seemed pretty determined to eat it, hair and all after catching up to it.” Remus replied softly, a fond smile playing on his lips as you began making gagging noises of disgust.
“No! James Fleamont Potter, tell me you didn’t actually eat hair!” You laughed, extending your socked foot to shove him.
“I will suffice by just saying that, there may or may not have been a stray hair or two on it when I picked it up- Oh! Sirius, how was detention?” James trailed off to greet a certain boy and your demeanor immediately soured.
Your textbook on alchemical runes suddenly seemed like the most interesting thing in the world.
“It was worth it. Mcgonagall must be getting tired of me because she had me choose a book and read for three hours. Don’t let me interrupt the fun though. Looks like you’ve finally coaxed the Ice Queen to defrost for a bit. Shame I wasn’t here to see it.” He remarks, and you didn’t need to be looking at him to know he was wearing that infuriating smirk.
“Don’t worry, Black. I’ll never be able to truly relax knowing you’re still out running amuck. Next time you get written up, I’ll be sure to beg Mcgonagall to keep you chained outside with the rest of the wild animals.” An acute look of disgust etches across your face as you close your book, promptly shoving it into your bag.
“If you’re so desperate to see me in a collar, the person you need to be begging is right in front of you, doll.”
You could not have rolled your eyes harder at his remark. In a huff, you tug the strap of your bag around your frame and stand indignantly.
“You’re actually right for once. James? Keep your mutt on a tighter leash, before I’m forced to be the one that puts him down.” You sneer, flipping your hair over one shoulder and striding up to the girls dormitory before he can get in another word.
Remus sighed, unhappily leaning back against the couch he was currently sprawled across. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
Sirius watched as your figure disappeared up the stairs before turning to the boy, a dumb smile playing on his lips.
“She doesn’t hate me nearly as much as she tries to make you believe.” Was all he offered giddily before skillfully changing the subject.
———
Much like the infamous playboy Sirius Black, you were known for how frequently you broke the hearts of anyone you hooked up with. They found that sex with you was a spiritual experience, but were usually crushed when you made it clear you weren’t interested in recurring partners.
When Gryffindor’s Quidditch team won a mid-season match against Ravenclaw, James was relentless in persuading you to come to the after party. And though you weren’t originally keen on the idea, you figured it’d be an ample opportunity to relieve some stress.
The night had gone well. You’d garnered a nice buzz from the punch James made in his dorm and had your eyes fixed on Theodore Nott who’d been snuck in by Marlene.
Sirius, who was working his way onto his third cup of punch, watched you make eyes with the Slytherin boy from across the room.
He sat silently seething as you adjusted in your spot on the couch, crossing your legs while holding that snake’s gaze. In the end, all it took was the simple curl of your index finger for Theodore to hand his drink to an unimpressed Marlene and approach you.
Sirius watched as the two of you exchanged a handful of words before you sultrily dragged the boy away by his collar.
It took a minute for him to register that the styrofoam cup in his grasp was crushed.
After grabbing a napkin, he irritatedly ran a hand through his hair and his breath was ragged.
Why did he care that you were probably seconds from fucking a random guy? He definitely wasn’t one to judge, he’d been with plenty of people over the years.
However, no matter how many times he rolled the idea around in his head, he was getting angrier by the minute.
Remus approached him to spark up a conversation, but he was already slipping past him, towards the direction he watched you disappear to earlier.
He found you in the hallway, lip-locked with Theodore who had a grip on one of your exposed thighs. Meanwhile your hands were tangled in his hair.
Sirius’ body switched into autopilot, moving at such a speed that his brain couldn’t even keep pace.
He had harshly pulled the boy off of you, slung you onto his shoulder and made his way to his dorm. Partygoers standing confused as you beat his back, yelling at him to let you go. Once he’s on the stairs away from prying eyes, he delivers a sharp slap to the exposed skin on your thigh.
“Stop screaming bloody murder, Y/L/N.” is all he says and you bite your lip at the sting.
By the time he locked his door and tossed you onto his bed you’re looking at him like he’s insane. Scurrying to get off the mattress but he quickly grabs you ankle, pulling you back to where he dropped you.
“What the fuck has gotten into you!?” You hiss, watching him run a hand through his locks.
“I’m tired of waiting for you to stop being a brat and realize you like me. Tired of watching you hop on random dicks that aren’t mine. You want to get laid tonight? Fine, fuck me then.” He growls and you’re instantly overwhelmed.
“Did a screw come loose in your head? I don’t know what the hell you’re on but I’m not fucking you all people!” You respond by grasping a pillow from his bed and chucking it at his head. He easily catches it with a roll of his eyes.
“I’ve loved you since our first year, Y/N. And I’ve observed you long enough to know if you genuinely hated me or not.” He confesses and you freeze. His eyes were crystal clear and you’re at a loss of words so he continues.
He gently grasps one of your hands, bringing it up over his heart. You can very faintly feel his heart racing and your brows furrow. He was actually being genuine.
“You want fuck me so bad you’ve officially gone stupid?” You ask but he sees the tiniest smirk on your lips. And for whatever reason, you actually let him move in to kiss you.
He jumps a bit when you bite his bottom lip and you giggle before he’s pressing you back onto the bed.
It’s a fight for dominance, neither of you wanting to be the one that relents.
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sallyf4ce · 3 years
Text
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wolves
chapter IV
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-> sally face x f!reader
-> enemies? to lovers
-> previous | next
cw: drugs, cigarettes, violence, homophobia
*does not follow original plot of sally face*
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summary: (y/n) and travis make up (ish), (y/n) gets hurt again (you really shouldn’t be surprised), larry gets a little moody (i don’t think he likes (y/n) very much), sal makes a move on (y/n) (although he doesn’t know he did)
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“You’re (y/n), right? New kid?” Travis looks at you as you press the wet cloth to your nose. You nod.
“How’d you know?”
“Sal said it. he muttered. The disgusted look on his face was proven a facade by the blush on his cheeks.
“You’re in love, buddy.” you laugh.
“No i’m fucking not! You’re so fucking stupid, what the fuck? Who could love a faggot like Sally f-” you cut him off my shoving his head into the wall roughly. You don’t know what came over you, but being homophobic is still homophobic even if you’re in denial. You convinced yourself that it wasn’t about sally, it was just you being an ally. Way to kill the mood, travis.
“You pull that shit one more time and I'll leave you without teeth, blondie. Or would you rather i tell your dad that you hit girls?”
He squirms underneath your palm. “Sorry.” he looks at you with a pleading face.
You sigh and let him go. “S’fine. You need to learn how to control your anger, though, fuckface. You’re not gonna get anywhere with that attitude.” stuffing the bloody towel in your bag, you lead him out the door.
“I hate you.” Travis scoffs.
“What did i say?”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
“Larry, she’s already closer to travis than she is to us and they just met. Travis is a full-on dick, and they’re being all friendly! I didnt even know that was possible!” Sal chucks his bag in his locker. He hasn’t known you for long, but longer than travis! Plus he’s way nicer, too! Why’d you have to go and get all friendly with his bully?
“I don’t fucking like it either, sally face. Maybe we should just stay away from them.” Larry crossed his arms and leaned against the lockers.
Sal didn’t want to stay away from you, though. You were sweet, he was sure, just a little distant. Plus you just sort of intrigued him. He wanted to know why you were like this, what happened to you, why you had a prosthetic. Maybe it was hypocritical of him, though. He's only told Larry and Ashley about what happened to him, so he shouldn’t be picking at your trauma. you’ll tell him when you feel comfortable with it, but you’d need to be comfortable with him for that. and right now, it seems like you’re pretty comfortable with his bully.
“let’s go, dude. class starts in 5.”
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
After grabbing your schedule with Travis, you set your stuff in your new locker (which smelled pretty good, surprisingly.) and began walking to your first class, math. Travis laughed at you when you read your schedule outloud and you gave him a whack on the head. What an idiot. He headed off to his first class, english.
you opened the door to the classroom and coughed to get the attention of the teacher, Mrs. Packerton.
“Ah, lovely! Class, say hi to (y/n) (l/n)!” she smiles as you awkwardly wave.
“You’ll be sitting in the back, right beside Sal.” an inaudible groan leaves your cracked lips as you make your way towards him, trying not to make eye contact.
“uh, here.” he moves over. you plop yourself down next to him and open your notebook.
“we’re doing a test right now. i’m pretty sure you won’t have to do it, since it’s your first day and all.” his blue hair bounces as he looks over to you again. it looks fluffy.
“you wanna touch it?” he chuckles. you don’t want to come off creepy, but he’s offering, right?
you reach out your prosthetic hand but quickly pull it back and switch it, realizing you can’t actually feel with it. he chuckles at your mistake and leans in to your touch.
you were right. it felt like clouds, puffy but still silky. it wasn’t combed properly, though.
“Mr. Fisher and Mrs. (L/n), you little lovebirds. hands to yourselves, please.” Mrs. Packerton laughs a little. “Ah, young love.”
you quickly pull your hand back and flush.
“stupid old lady.” you mutter.
“Mrs. P’s nice, she’s just a little… enamoured in her students’ love lives.” sal laughs.
“stop, you’re making her sound like a pedophile!” you cover your mouth to suppress your laugh and sal’s face heats up even more. He made you laugh!
You both quieted down as Sal continued his test and you doodled in your sketchbook.
“are you okay? after travis, you know.” he hummed, a mix of concern and jealousy swirling in his eyes.
“uh, yeah. i’m fine.”
“You sure? Your lips look pretty busted.”
“It’s all good.”
“why do you hang out with him, anyway?” he turned his test upside down and faced you again.
“what do you mean?” you’re confused.
“he hit you in the face first thing in the morning. If i was you, i wouldn't really like him.” sal gripped his pencil.
“are you jealous?” you question, a smirk on your face.
“No.” his expression is hidden behind his mask. you look into his eyes, trying to make him blush.
the blue is a different blue than the one you saw yesterday. it’s lighter, almost like a porcelain blue.
“whatever you say, porcelain face.”
“porcelain face?”
“your mask, and your eyes, i guess. they’re like a porcelain doll’s.”
he hums.
“what are you then? metal hand? cyborg? fist of steel?”
“you forgot iron fist.”
“iron fist?”
“sure.” you grin. sal’s heart flutters again.
“Alright children, please hand in your tests and nicely file out the class. The bell will ring any moment.” Mrs. Packerton smiles sweetly and starts collecting tests. You grab your bag and leave the class.
Sal looked around the room for a bit, looking for you. A flash of (h/c) hair leaving the room catches his eyes. He tries running after you, but you’re already heading towards your next class.
•Lunch time•
“Shut the fuck up, Trav. I said she was stupid, not stupid hot. I don't know where you got hot from! I literally never said it.” You shoved his shoulder. He just snickered and continued teasing you.
“Hey, (y/n)! Come have lunch with us!” Sal saw you walking with travis. He waved you over from the cafeteria. Travis immediately stopped laughing and sneered. He quickly began walking over to sal, raising his fist.
“Leave us alone, fucking fag-” travis swung at sal but you stepped in front of them, raising your arm to cover sal’s face since he was taller.
Travis throws punches like a wrestler, You already knew that. Maybe you shouldn't have used your real hand to catch it.
His fist slammed into your forearm roughly and you flinched.
“Fuck- travis, go cool off. Now. Leave.” you hold onto your arm. It stings, but it's not broken. You’ll be fine.
“You’re all a bunch of-” he stops mid sentence as you give him a glare. It sort of said ‘you’re gay too, dumbass.’ he scrunched his eyebrows and walked off.
“Oh my fucking god!” a girl with brown hair ran over to you and lightly grabbed your arm.
“This her, sal? Are you (Y/n)?” she looked at you. She seemed very sweet. Kind of reminded you of your cousin.
“Uh- yeah- can you let go?”
She smiles in apology and lets go.
“You didn't have to do that, (y/n).” sal scratches the back of his head. You’ve gotten hurt twice because of him. How are you supposed to be friends if the only thing sal does is hurt you?
“I think maple might have an ice pack in her lunch. Can you come sit with us?” He hopes you say yes.
“Yeah, okay.” you needed the ice pack and travis was nowhere to be seen, so you didn’t really have a choice.
“Hey, (y/n).” Larry grumbles as you walk to their table. It seems he’s upset with you.
“I just saved your buddy from travis. Not to your liking or something?” you look up to him. If something’s wrong, he should just fucking say it. Not beat around the bush like a pussy.
“Yeah. you and travis seem to be getting along well.” he finally makes eye contact with you. Sal and the girl seem uncomfortable.
“We all got our issues, asshole. Some of us just know how to deal with them better than others.” You sneer. He’s allowed not to like Travis, but he’s not allowed to be a bitch to you because you actually understand his actions and choose to help him instead of ignoring him.
“Whatever.” he spits. You turn to sal.
“I’ll get my own ice.” you begin walking away. “Also, watch your dog.” you hear sal chuckle as larry groans. He walks up to you before you can leave, Larry throwing his arms up in the air in disbelief.
“Hey, uh, (y/n)? I’m sorry you got hurt. Could- could i make it up to you somehow?” his hand is on yours. It’s warm, he’s probably blushing hard under his mask.
“Sure, sally. How would you do that?” you spin around to face him. You can see his mask rise a little and his smile peaks through.
“Do you have a phone?” he pulls his cell out. It’s just a simple black flip-phone with a few paint splatters.
“I do, it’s in my locker. I dont have my number memorized, though. Stupid area codes.” you mumble. “You wanna come get it with me?”
Sal looks back to his friends. Ash is nodding frantically while Larry twirls a cigarette through his fingers, still mad.
“Alright.”
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taglist: @purelydarling @deadpoetsandhoney @ghostfacefricker6969 @percyyzz @whatsurgamertag @kiillian @potatochic2003 @beingaweebishell @glitterydonutangel @izzydrawsandwrites @angellicbitch @elebeleb @dream-of-eros @mr-bombastic
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velvetcloxds · 3 years
Text
LEAVE ME BREATHLESS| D.H.
Pairing: Derek x fem! Reader
Word count: 2135 words
Warnings: none, just fluff
Summary: Reader attends her senior prom with her friends, however she can't really enjoy it as her boyfriend Derek is in Mexico searching for Kate, luckily though, Derek is full of surprises.
“Why aren’t you dressed?” Stiles asks in a rush as he comes into my room. His eyes scan the bed quickly as he sees my dress and shoes scattered onto the duvet. “We had to leave half an hour ago.” He informs me and he ignores the obvious frown on my face as he walks over to the bed to pick up the dress. I groan loudly as I wipe the rest of my makeup off, ignoring his dramatic gestures behind me.
“I’m not going, Stiles.” I tell him and he makes no trouble to hide his shock, his mouth opening to protests as he steps towards me, throwing the dress over his shoulder as he touches the back of my chair.
“I don’t understand that sentence,” He announces and spins my chair in the same breath. “I refuse to understand that sentence, considering the fact that you’re the one forcing us to go,” He pauses to drape the dress over my knees and smiles encouragingly. “Now, enough of the dramatics, get dressed.” I sigh.
“Stiles.” I groan and he ignores this, pulling me from the chair and softly pushing me into the bathroom with a stumble.
“Dress and shoes, I’ll wait out here.” He tells me and I contemplate objecting for a sweet second, but cave instead.
He’s right for pushing me to get dressed, because I did in fact force everyone to go tonight. Prom in the middle of a crises seems out of order, but it’s the last time we’ll all be here together and it’s important to make memories, even if only for one night. Besides, it's Beacon Hills, there is never not a crises at hand. Although I hadn’t realized until now that I’d be going stag among all of my couple friends. And I certainly didn’t realize that the one person I want to be here isn’t.
“There she is!” Stiles exclaims with a large smile as I emerge from the bathroom. “Shoes,” He says as he holds them out for me. I take them, lifting the layers of my dress high enough to slip the heels on and out of the corner of my eyes I can see him stuffing multiple makeup products into his blazer pocket. He smiles when he sees me. “Lydia will help you in the car.” He informs me and I have just enough time to grab my clutch and some perfume before he starts pushing me out of the room and towards the jeep.
“You look amazing.” Lydia tells me as we reach the jeep. I smile, pushing a curl behind my ear as Stiles opens the back door for us to get in.
“Yeah, you’re both gorgeous. Now get in,” He rushes and Lydia rolls her eyes before jumping in, with me following suit. “Makeup.” Stiles says as he hands us his blazer over the seat, starting the car in the same movement. I smile over at Lydia as she removes everything from the pockets, looking over at Stiles through the mirror every few seconds where his eyes already wait for hers.
It doesn’t take long for her to get going. Applying everything in the correct steps, stopping briefly when Stiles gives her the bump warning. I sit still through the process, my mind slipping away from reality as I let her do her job.
“Glossy or Nude?” Lydia asks and I realize we’ve stilled in front of the school. She holds up two lip-gloss tubes for me to choose from and I reach forward to take the glossy one, knowing it’ll be much less of a hassle to reapply. “Good choice, we’ll wait outside.” She tells me, squeezing my hand before getting out of the open door that Stiles holds on to.
“Hey man!” A new voice yells from across the parking lot and I peak out of the window to see Scott and Malia walking hand in hand towards the jeep. I smile to myself and then use my phone as a mirror to quickly put of the gloss.
“Where’s Y/n?” Malia asks just as I get out of the jeep and her face lights up when she sees we’re both wearing black.
“You look very pretty.” Scott tells me as he leans in for a quick hug and I smile before following the four of them into the school.
I swing my clutch over my shoulder and allow my fingers to tangle into the little charm on my necklace, my heart swooning over to the hands that clipped it on for me a few months ago.
The gym hums with excitement as everyone moves in somewhat of a rhythm to the song that the band is playing. The decorative balloons begging to be released from their strings to the ceiling. A large collection of different coloured lights flickering on beat against the walls.
“We’re going to dance!” Malia yells over the noise, harshly grabbing onto Scott’s hand and pulling him towards the dancefloor. Scott just smiles as he allows her to lead him away.
“Do you girls want something to drink?” Stiles asks already backing up towards the snack table and Lydia just smiles as she shakes her head to tell him no. He looks at me and I mimic Lydia’s gesture which causes him to nod quickly before walking off.
I look over at Malia and Scott who are both waving us over to join them. Lydia smiles. “You coming?” She asks leaning in. I look from her to the dancefloor and I really don’t feel like jumping around and shuffling against other people right now.
“I’m going to the ladies’ room really quick and then I’ll join you.” I tell her, leaning into her as well so she can hear me. She looks me over for a second, probably checking to see if I’m okay and then nods before walking away. I wait for her to reach them before turning around and walking to the door we just came in through. I just got here and already I feel like I need some air. I bend down to take of my heels and hold them in my hand as I walk over to the school sign, pushing myself up and placing my purse and heels next to me.
Senior prom. It’s one of those milestone nights, one to remember forever. Physically I’m ready, but my mind is far away from the glitter and the punch. My mind is with Derek Hale and so is my heart.
I reach into my purse and pull out my phone, unlocking it quickly to dial the number of the motel he’s staying at in Mexico. It rings a few times before a loud beep tells me that he’s not in his room. I sigh before adjusting myself on the wall and bringing the phone closer to my ear.
“Hi,” I say almost too softly, I pull my knees to my chest, the dress draping around me. “I missed you again. We can’t seem to get this scheduling thing right. I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess,” I smile as I look up at the stars. “I’m at our spot right now, thinking of you in a suit and a tie. You look handsome by the way,” I close my eyes to picture it, but shake my head when the image starts to drift. “Anyway. Call me back when you can. I miss you.” I put the phone down next to me as I continue to look at the starts, swallowing down the tears in my throat.
“Now, you know damn well that I don’t wear ties.”
“Derek?” I question softly, my voice shaking with excitement at the very idea of that voice in fact belonging to my goofball. He laughs lightly and now I don’t even have to think about it to know that it’s him.
I turn myself around quickly, meeting his gaze for a brief second before losing my balance and slipping from the little wall. His laughter continues as he moves to catch me, getting hold of my hand just in time to stop my untimely collide with the concrete. He pulls me against him to steady me and despite the countless times we’ve done this, I still need to catch my breath. My cheeks burn as I feel his eyes moving over my body taking his bloody time to look at every single feature.
“Beautiful.” Is all he says as our eyes meet and my lips tilt upwards as a natural reaction to his presence. I move my hands from his and carefully reach upwards to touch his face, hovering for barely a second before softly cupping his cheeks. My smile grows.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, his hands folding around my waist to keep me close.
“I missed you,,” He informs me, like it’s just that simple. “Stiles called.” He continues and I can’t decide where to rest my eyes as he speaks. “He said you weren’t acting like yourself this week and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why,” His thumbs trace the stitching of my dress. “And I wasn’t exactly doing any better on my end, so here I am.”
“I was losing my mind without you here,,” I tell him, my heart beating in my throat as he smiles down at me. He tilts his head to look at me even closer and I almost instantly look down. “When do you have to go back?” I ask after a moment of silence and I feel his body tense against mine, letting me know that it’s a lot sooner than I’d want. He sighs, his hands tugging me closer.
“Let’s not think about that,” I look up to see him grinning brightly, his eyes almost sparkling as he stares at me. “We have tonight. I can hold you in my arms and hear your voice,,” He kisses my nose, the suddenness of the gesture making me giggle. “I get to hear that intoxicating little sound,” He exhales slowly. “We have tonight.” He tells me softly and his voice drifts as he leans in, I jump away from him quickly, mischief on my mind as I back away from him.
“Would you like to dance?” I ask him and he groans loudly, eyes telling me exactly what he was about to do. I laugh softly.
“Not exactly.” He pulls a hand through his hair and a glimmer of frustration rests in his raised brow.
“Come now, it’s my prom night after all,” I take hold of both his hands. “Are they playing a slow song or a fast song?” I ask him and he shakes his head at me before closing his eyes to listen.
“Slow…” He says and I smile, part of me being glad that I don’t have to stop being so close to him after all.
“Is that so?” I muse, the tone of my voice prompting him to open his eyes and without missing a beat he pulls on my hands until I’m once again held firmly in his embrace. I giggle again, something I realize only happens so naturally when I’m with him. Our hands shift into place and I tangle my fingers together behind his neck. His arms dangling loosely as his fingers fold around my sides.
“I might just enjoy this after all,” He informs me with a silly little smirk as he guides us to a rhythm only he can hear. We sway in silence for a while, my face against his chest and his chin on my head. “I don’t know how I went on so long without you,” He says suddenly, lifting his head so I can look at him. “It’ll be downright impossible to do it now.” He tells me, bringing out bodies to a halt as he lifts a hand to my face, his fingers stroking over my cheeks slowly. I close my eyes as the sensation captivates my senses.
“I know what you mean.” I say softly, sliding my hands down his blazer where I rest my fingers against his chest.
“I love you,” He tells me and I open my eyes. He uses his thumb to lift my face, a smile filling his lips when he looks at me. “Say it back , won’t you?” He asks playfully and I smile as well, my heart swelling with pride.
“I love you, too.” I tell him and he laughs.
“Again.” He tells me, looking over me as he waits for me to say it.
“I love you too.” He laughs again, softer this time. Happier.
“Yeah…” He kisses me quickly, not nearly long enough to make up for the time we’ve been apart, but the way he looks at me leaves me breathless. He rests his forehead against mine. “I’ll never be able to leave you again.”
Hi there, more of my imagines can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubertt. Mxx.
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missfangirll · 3 years
Note
If im not too late, I'd request anything for Beiyuan/Wu Xi. There are so few works out there for them :c
So, I wanted to write some XiYuan fluff and somehow ended up writing Dad!Beiyuan bonding with Chengling, Beiyuan thirsting after his husband and a sort-of-fix-it for WoH episode 36?? 😅
The plot follows the show, after episode 36, but their shared past in the novel (Qi Ye) did happen, if that makes sense? 😅 Sorry for the confusion.. The title is a Chinese poem called 蝶恋花 by Liu Yong.
Anyway, here's some XiYuan fluff/dad!Beiyuan/WoH fix-it? 😂😂
- - - - -
Fandom: Qi Ye, Word of Honor Rating: General Relationship: Wu Xi/Jing Beiyuan, Jing Beiyuan & Zhang Chengling Tags: Fluff, Bonding, Beiyuan thirsting after his husband, Fix-it of sorts Words: 2565 Summary: In an inn, Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi, together with Zhang Chengling, await the return of Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing, who have run off to die on a mountain. Beiyuan has to care for Zishu's disciple, while being distracted by his husband.
Read on AO3
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Butterflies in Love with Flowers
Jing Beiyuan has plenty of practice waiting.
He has waited for sixty years at the Three-Life Stone, has waited for Helian Yi for six lifetimes. Has waited in the Imperial City for his schemes and machinations to bear fruit, has waited for Wu Xi. He has plenty of practice.
Which doesn’t mean, however, that he is a patient man.
Jing Beiyuan paces the inn room he shares with his husband, deliberately walking closely past Wu Xi who is sitting cross-legged at the low table reading, looking entirely unperturbed. Much to Jing Beiyuan’s dismay, that is to say, so he brushes Wu Xi’s back with the seam of his sleeve every time he walks by.
Wu Xi doesn’t react for a while, but after the sixth turn, without saying a word, he casually grabs Jing Beiyuan’s sleeve and, turning slightly, pulls him down in his lap, effectively trapping him there with both arms tightly around him.
Jing Beiyuan is a lot of things, but he's not an idiot, and he would never let an opportunity pass to cuddle his husband. With a deep sigh, he settles into the other’s embrace, leaning his head on Wu Xi’s broad chest.
“I am worried,” he admits eventually.
Stroking his hair soothingly, Wu Xi just hums in quiet understanding.
"I'm worried about the two idiots on the mountain," he adds, as if that wasn't obvious, and Wu Xi, as expected, doesn't reply. Jing Beiyuan continues, unbothered by his husband's lack of reaction. "I keep telling the little idiot," here he pauses to marvel at the fact that he distinguishes his companions merely by the grade of their idiocy, then sighs inwardly, "that his shifu and shishu are fine, that he should focus on his training in order to have something to show his shifu upon his return, but sometimes I…." He trails off, snuggling closer into the other's neck.
Zhang Chengling isn't coping well with the fact that both his mentors left with the intention to die on that mountain, albeit with different purposes in mind, and Jing Beiyuan has had to forcefully stop him from climbing that mountain himself, twice by now. For now he seems to have begrudgingly accepted his fate, although Jing Beiyuan can see his outbursts of anger for the fear they are.
He inhales deeply, willing his thoughts to calm down. All they have to do now is wait, wait for Zishu and his little maniac to return safely, and return they will, he has no doubts about it. He can’t, for Chengling’s sake.
A knock on the door interrupts the silent moment and with a groan, Jing Beiyuan clambers out of his husband’s lap to open the door, while said husband reaches for his abandoned book. The elderly innkeeper in front of him doesn’t spare a glance at Jing Beiyuan’s slightly ruffled hair, fiddling with the cap in his hands. At the other’s raised eyebrow, he bows so deep his forehead seems to touch his knees, and Jing Beiyuan has to bite back a grin.
“Yes?”, he asks magnanimously. The man shifts uncomfortably. “Your highness,” he begins, but Jing Beiyuan interrupts him with a hand on his shoulder. “I am certainly not worthy of such a noble title, my good man, just call me Lord Seventh, and speak freely. What bothers you?”
The other man bows again, not as low as before, but it still looks uncomfortable. “Your lordship,” he begins, and Jing Beiyuan sighs, hearing a slight huff of laughter from behind. Wu Xi knows of his resentment against his past life and the decorum it entailed. “Your lordship,” the man repeats, sounding increasingly desperate. “Your, umm.. The young master… He… The courtyard…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, but Jing Beiyuan has a vague idea of what he is trying to say, so he just nods and breezes past the innkeeper, who hastily shuts the door and scrambles to follow him.
From the inn’s inner courtyard he can already hear a dull thudding noise that grows louder as he approaches. In the yard, next to a small wooden shack, he finds the source of the noise: Zhang Chengling, gracelessly hitting the timber wall with a training sword, his face and back sweaty, his hair in disarray, his mouth a thin line. Jing Beiyuan nods to the innkeeper, who retreats to another building, then slowly approaches the boy, keeping his distance from the sword. Leaning on the wooden wall, he stays silent, observing Zishu’s disciple. The boy has grown a finger’s breadth over the last weeks, his body starting to stretch, his face about to lose the softness of childhood. He has seen a lot these past months, Jing Beiyuan muses, and feels infinite fondness for the little idiot.
Zhang Chengling has seen him, of course, but doesn’t make any move to stop his grim assault on the shack, so Jing Beiyuan says after a while, “You might want to use a real sword when you intend to put a hole in that thing.” His teasing doesn’t gain a reaction, however, the boy still hacking away at the wood. “Chengling,” he says after a while, softly, gently, “they will return.”
“I know,” comes the strained reply, but the beating doesn’t stop. The hits seem to grow less forceful, though, and Jing Beiyuan inches closer. “If Tian Chuang had succeeded,” he adds quietly, “we would know.” He looks directly at Chengling who stubbornly avoids his gaze, but his movements slow further, until he swings the sword like a flag bearer his banner in a parade. Jing Beiyuan carefully closes the distance, intercepting the last swing with his hand, gripping the wooden sword. He notices its shaking, and it’s only a heartbeat before Chengling collapses into his arms, letting go of the sword and wrapping both arms around him in a desperate embrace. Jing Beiyuan lowers the sword, then enfolds the boy in his arms, a hand on the back of his head, and lets him sob quietly into his shoulder.
“I miss them,” the boy snuffles into his robes, his face hidden. “Sometimes I dream about them, dead and cold, buried under all that snow and I…” He hiccups, then starts sobbing again. Jing Beiyuan breathes slowly. A few days after Zishu, and then the Ghost Valley Master, ascended the mountain, there had been news of an immense avalanche that had buried a large group of people, presumably the joined forces of the Window of Heaven and the Scorpion King. But nothing had reached them since, and all of them had grown restless, even Wu Xi, even though he would never admit to it.
A hand on the boy’s back, Jing Beiyuan rubs soothing circles. “Come with me,” he says at last, “Let’s go inside and have some tea, hm?” A nod, then Chengling takes a step back, sheepishly rubbing his red eyes. “‘m sorry,” he mumbles, but Jing Beiyuan just huffs. “Never be sorry for how you feel,” he admonishes gently, putting an arm around the boy’s shoulder, subtly scooping the wooden sword up with the other hand. “Let’s have some tea and sweets, what do you say?” Chengling sniffs again, then says with the hint of a smile, “Didn’t the Great Shaman explicitly forbid us to eat sweets before dinner?” Jing Beiyuan makes a carefree gesture, then, lowering his voice, adds in a conspiratorial tone, “We have to hide it, then,” which finally makes Chengling laugh. A lighter air around them, they stroll back to the room. (Wu Xi gives them a stern look as Jing Beiyuan retrieves a bag of sweets from his sleeve, but says nothing when they share some over tea, which Jing Beiyuan secretly finds endlessly endearing.)
⚘⚘
The next morning finds Jing Beiyuan on a bench in that same courtyard, at the other side this time, half hidden under a canopy hung with ivy. In the middle of the courtyard, illuminated by the rising sun, Wu Xi is practicing his martial arts.
Jing Beiyuan admires everything about his little venom. His honesty, his loyalty, his unrestrained emotions, but watching the other train always leaves him breathless and with a dry mouth. Wu Xi, in his usual black robes, is a sight to behold: Even under layers of cloth his broad shoulders are visible, his long black braids with the silver hairpiece, the moon mirrored in a clear lake at night. Wu Xi in his robes is a force to be reckoned with. Wu Xi without his robes, in just some black pants, is… Well. Enticing enough to make Jing Beiyuan leave the bed before sunrise and watch him train, even after being together for years and having seen his husband naked plenty of times. Still, watching him move through the forms is different. His skin glistens with sweat, making the light catch on his collarbones, his abs. His movements show a raw power, a graceful intensity that always reminds Jing Beiyuan of a large tiger. He moves silently, with deadly precision, as if he wanted to sneak up on a hidden assassin. He doesn’t use a weapon, but Jing Beiyuan knows how strong he is, how fast, and is pretty sure that a sword would only slow him down.
Distractedly petting the sable that is curled contentedly in his lap, Jing Beiyuan marvels at his husband, until Wu Xi ends his performance with a graceful vault, landing on his hands and feet like a large cat. His hair, tied back only with a simple black leather cord, falls over his face with the movement, his eyes like glimmering coals behind the black curtain. It reminds Jing Beiyuan of their early days, of the time Wu Xi wore a veil, and he himself a mask of another kind. Trying to hide the slight shiver, he smiles at his sweaty husband who now approaches him. Before he can say anything, Wu Xi steps between his knees, carefully scooping up the sable, then reaching down to cup the nape of Jing Beiyuan’s neck. With a hint of restrained power, he pulls him up and into a searing kiss. Smiling against his lips, Wu Xi whispers, “Room,” and Jing Beiyuan lets himself be pulled.
It’s still early enough in the morning that they don’t have to be overly cautious, so when they shed their respective robes - and pets, Wu Xi’s tiny green snake gets set in its cage, while the sable leaps nimbly away from the commotion - Jing Beiyuan can’t suppress a giggle at his husband’s eagerness.
“What brought this on?”, he asks, a little breathless, as the other’s teeth close over his pulse point. Wu Xi stills for a heartbeat, then bites down harder, licking over the spot, which elicits a shiver.
“You,” is the answer, and Jing Beiyuan pulls away a fraction to look at his husband with a raised eyebrow. “I can’t remember doing anything out of the ordinary,” he smirks, “whereas you were--”
“You watched,” Wu Xi breathes into his neck, leaning back in. With another giggle, Jing Beiyuan lets himself be pulled to the bed.
Later, when they lay under scrunched up covers, sated and sweaty and content, Jing Beiyuan nuzzles into Wu Xi’s chest, inhaling his sharp scent.
“Would you do that,” he asks eventually, his voice quiet. “Sacrifice your life, I mean. For me.”
“Yes,” is all Wu Xi answers, firm and without hesitation. “I would. I will. Everything.” His arms tighten around Jing Beiyuan. After a long silence, the latter says softly, “But what if I didn’t want that?” He turns slightly to look up. “What if I didn’t want a life that’s bought with yours?”
Wu Xi doesn’t meet his gaze as he replies, “I still would. I couldn’t bear the thought of being without you, Beiyuan. I’m a coward, but I couldn’t. I thought I’d lost you once, and I..” His voice breaks, and Jing Beiyuan reaches up to cup his face. “You’re not. I would like to say that I would react differently, but…” He shrugs with a wry smile. “I wouldn’t. If I could save your life by giving up mine, I would. I would, and then wait for you again at the Three-Life Stone, until you came to meet me. And maybe this time, you would be the one with white hair.” Snuggling closer, he trails a finger over the other’s chest, then places his hand on his sternum, feeling the unrestrained energy underneath. Wu Xi turns his head, then cups Jing Beiyuan’s cheek, meeting him in a slow, languid kiss.
“I love you,” he breathes against the other’s lips, “I have loved you for all your lifetimes and I will continue to love you in all that follow. Where you go, I’m going, Beiyuan.”
⚘⚘
It takes almost another month until Zishu and his little-, no, his giant idiot return. On a sunny afternoon, as if they had just been out for a stroll, they saunter casually into the inn’s dining room, and Jing Beiyuan almost drops his teacup, staring in disbelief. Before he can say anything, Zishu grins - he grins! - at him and plops down into the bench opposite him, Wen Kexing at his side. Jing Beiyuan notices in utter shock that the latter’s hair has gone completely white.
“Wha--,” he starts, but now the waiter has spotted them, hurrying over. Giving their, admittedly quite ragged, appearance a cautious once-over, he clears his throat, but Jing Beiyuan hurries to assuage him. “Whatever these gentlemen desire to eat,” he declares, probably with more grandeur than necessary, “they will receive.” The waiter hurries to nod his head like a turtle, but Zishu just shakes his head. “Just cold water,” he says, much to Jing Beiyuan’s and the waiter’s astonishment, but the latter immediately scrambles off to bring them their order.
Jing Beiyuan looks scrutinizingly at both of them, then says slowly, “Welcome back.” Zishu nods solemnly, taking Wen Kexing’s hand under the table. “Sorry it took so long,” he says quietly. Jing Beiyuan snorts. “You don’t have to apologise to me,” he gestures into the general direction of the inner courtyard, “but to your silly little disciple.” Zishu at least has the decency to flinch, looking uncomfortable. But it is Wen Kexing who speaks first. “How is he?”, he asks, and Jing Beiyuan notices the cautious fondness in his voice. Shrugging, he admits, “There are good days and bad.” After a pause, he adds, more quietly, “And good nights and bad.” Zishu nods, as if in agreement, and Jing Beiyuan’s curiosity wins over. “What happened?”, he asks animatedly, gesturing to the state of their robes, then Wen Kexing’s hair. “You were gone almost two months, and--”
Zishu interrupts him, sounding incredulous. “Two months?” He casts an uncertain glance at his companion who looks equally stunned. “Oh.” Inhaling slowly, he adds, “Well, I’d prefer to tell the story only once, so where is that useless disciple of mine?” Grinning, Jing Beiyuan gestures again to the inner courtyard. “Training.” Zishu gives him a skeptical look, then gets to his feet. Ignoring the waiter who just arrived with their order, he heads for the inner courtyard. Jing Beiyuan tilts his head a fraction, looking at Wen Kexing, both smiling slightly. Then, from outside, “SHIFU!”, and a dull thud, followed by another muffled “Shishu!”.
Smiling into his teacup, Jing Beiyuan closes his eyes. Some stories seem to have a happy ending after all.
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sampams · 3 years
Text
"A Daze” TommyInnit
rl!TommyInnit x gn reader
Summary: what happens if you flinch away from Tommy during an argument?
Warnings: a bit of angst (mentions of violence and shouting), fluff (Tommy a bit out of character)
Authors Note: hello! so i just randomly decided to start a blog and write, please be nice as this is my first post, and before you read, this is romantic, but i won’t  post anything that have to do with nsfw.
Arguments with Tommy was never a common thing in your relationship, you guys kept things pretty private ever since your announcement, but you have made appearances here and there in some of his newer vlogs. From what a lot of people can see, and what you guys like to think, was that your relationship was very chill, lots bickering with each other, insults thrown here and there but has no harmful meanings to them.
But today didn’t seem like you guys will make it the night without an argument sparking up. You didn’t think much of it during the day when Tommy grew distant, you just thought he was having one of those days where he decided to be a bit out of character. 
You were out that day with Jack, Toby and Tommy for a simple hang out, something you would often do after you all got your vaccines.
But today in particular seemed to get Tommy into a daze, you didn’t pry him for any answers, but a couple “Are you okay?” were were asked through the evening, but you would only to get a shrug as an answer. 
He knew you and Toby were close, he knew he shouldn't be dwelling on it for the most part, but he couldn’t help but feel jealous of the pair, you guys seem to be having your own conversation, leaving him behind with Jack, only for him to rant about something he didn’t seem to care of. But you didn’t understand , you decided to give Tommy space since he hasn’t been talking to you at all, let alone look at you. Jack felt a sort of tension when he realized his ranting has fallen on deaf ears, although he didn’t want to make a deal out of it, he proposed the pair to go home.
“Aren’t you guys a bit tired? I’m fucking exhausted and i need to go soon for a stream.” Jack mumbled, silently glancing at Tommy “Yeah we’ll leave too” pulling you up from your seat, startling you in the process as you were bidding your goodbyes to the boys. You guys started making your way to the train station, the walk was eerily silent, something you guys rarely did, you started to grow worried, picking at your polish, glancing up at him just to get an idea of what he was thinking then.
“Hey Tommy?” you whispered, looking straight forward, you didn't want to make eye contact with him, you knew he was mad, but you simply couldn't put your finger on it.
“Mhm?” he replied, he looked at his hand, the breeze was cold, and it felt strange not holding your hand like you always did on walks, he so desperately wanted to just envelope your hands in his, but he had his pride, and you noticed too, you hummed.
“You okay? you’ve been a bit off today.” This time you looked at him, hoping he’d look back at you but he never did, and kept walking forward.
“Tommy!” you sounded desperate, desperate for an answer, why was he acting like this all of a sudden? “please talk to me, what's wrong, you've never gone this long without talking to me. “, and silence once again fell upon you two, you couldn't help but feel hurt, you just wanted him to open up to you, he only sighed “We’ll talk when we get back to my place.”
The walk and train ride back was awkward, and you absolutely hated it, you couldn't help but have anxiety bubble up, why did he not want to tell you right then and there, was it so serious he had to ignore you the whole day? 
Upon arriving at his house, you met his mother in the living room and shyly waved at her, “Hi mom.” Tommy whispered, only to have his mother stare back at the two of you blankly, she wondered why he wasn't as energetic as he always was, but concluded that he might've been tired and warmly smiled back.
The two of you made it to his room, no words were exchanged between either of you. He promptly threw his hoodie off into a corner and sat in his chair at his desk, turning on his pc to play some games. You furrowed your eyebrows, you thought he’d talk to you. You decided to speak up.
“What are you doin’? Can we talk like you said we would?” you huffed out, you were slowly getting irritated by the second, he decided to boot up his pc rather than sort whatever was happening between the two of you?
You waited for a response, only to hear him sigh and pull his headphones off “Why didn’t you talk to me at all today?” he finally turned around, the question got you puzzled, you were terribly confused, you had to take a second to register what he just said, and you were baffled “what do you mean tom? you were the one that distanced yourself ever since we met up with Toby and Jack!”.
Your statement somehow hit a nerve within Tommy, when he abruptly stood up and sighed “You ignored me for Toby!” he retorted, this was so unlike him, he was never one to get jealous, especially when it comes to Tubbo, he knew the boy would never do anything to cause trouble, but he couldn’t help but doubt himself, wouldn’t you like someone calmer? Not over the top? Too aggressive? He himself knew he wasn’t any of that, you reassured him you loved him so dearly, then why did this have to get to him so much today?
And you finally put the pieces together, he was jealous, you couldn’t help but find it  cute and accidently let out a small chuckle, but Tommy didn’t take that too well, he thought you were mocking him, “You think this is funny?” he choked out, he couldn’t help but feel hurt, but it wasn’t your intention to come off cold, you shook your “No i don’t tom, i just don’t understand-” you were suddenly cut off by a scoff, “How can you not understand? clearly you prefer being by his side, you didn’t even make an effort to talk to me, you completely disregarded me the whole time i was next to you-” 
“Tommy stop, you’re rambling-” you tried to explain
“Stop? I'm trying to help you understand what you did!” a this point, it was becoming overbearing, he stood over you, towering above you and his shouting never came to a halt, despite it being your first argument, it was the first time you’ve ever seen him in such a state, and it intimidated you, you just wanted him to let you speak and explain, but he never gave you the chance.
“How can you not fucking see what you did wrong? You couldn’t think for a fucking second to ask me why i wasn't talking to you?!”
“I did!-”
“You did jackshit!” his hand came flying over you hand to rub his aching temple, you couldn’t help but flinch away and take a few step back. Your eyes shut close, waiting for impact, but it never came, the room was dead silent, the only sound you could make at was Tommy’s ragged breathing. You couldn’t believe you could ever think Tommy was ever gonna lay a hand on you, and you knew he could never, he loved you so much that a little cut you from a paper got him into a fury panic.
The sight of you flinching away, ultimately made his heart drop. “Y/N- i-i’m so sorry” he was speechless, he felt so ashamed with himself that the argument had to take this turn, knowing it could've been resolved in much more civil way. You stared at him, you couldn't say a word, your eyes were brimmed with tears that were threatening to fall and he couldn't stand there for another second, he didn't want to look at you and be reminded  that he scared you. And with that, he quietly left the room before you could speak up.
You stood still in your current position, had you not tried harder for him, this could've been avoided , you were telling yourself to not run after him, in fear he’d walk away again, that he needed a second to think, but the look on his face remained clear in your head , he looked so hurt, and you hated it. You needed to find him and apologize, you were worried for him, you wanted your relationship to be okay. 
Quickly grabbing a sweater than was on the floor, you mindlessly pulled it over your head, and headed straight downstairs. The house was dark, no lights in the hallway nor the living room, but from the corner, you could make out a small lamp turned on near the kitchen. You quietly made your way over, worried that it might be his mother, worried that she might've heard your argument from his room. But as you stepped in, you found tommy, leaning over the counter with a cup of water, sniffles could be heard coming from the boy and your heart ached.
Your eyes glossed over, you wanted him to be okay, to know that he didn't do anything wrong. And without another thought, you ran over to him latching at the back of his white shirt. You could feel him tense up for a second, as he was taken by surprise. 
“I’m sorry” you whispered, you could feel him shutter at how soft your voice was, he thought he didn't deserve an apology, for scaring you so much, and you knew that, and all you've ever wanted to do tin this moment was to reassure him you were okay.
It was once again silence, you slowly pulled away, you wanted to see him, you wanted to apologize to him for not being thoughtful, as you did, you found yourself in a awe, despite the tears that ran down his cheeks, you found him gorgeous, shining ever so subtly under the soft glow of the moon, you pulled your arm away from his waist, to gently caress his cheek, “I'm sorry my love, i wasn't able to hear you out, i never meant to hurt your feelings” you whispered slowly to him, pulling him into a hug, your head rested on his chest, as his was buried in the crook of your neck. He didn't say a word, and quite frankly you didn't expect him to, you didn't need to hear him speak, you knew he too was sorry. You suddenly felt your exposed neck dampen with his tears as he pulled you closer than ever to him.
“I'm sorry y/n, i really am, I'm so sorry” he hiccupped, “i didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry-” his sentence was cut short to catch his breath, “ i know you are, but you’re not in the wrong okay?” you pulled him off, cupping his face with your warm hands, he stared back at you “ i didn't know you felt that way, and rather than doing what i did, i should've listened to you, I'm sorry too. you're all I've ever wanted, and no one can compare to you, i love you so much tom, don't forget about that” you smiled sweetly at him ,despite the tears rolling down your tears stained cheeks as well as his.
He nodded, wiping away your tears, as he pulled you closer to him. The heat radiating off the both of you, as you sat in a now comfortable silence, he pulled you in for a kiss, sweetly smiling against your lips as he mumbled “ i love you too” before leaning back in for another one.
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