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#and before anyone tries to @ me hi i have depression too but that doesn't mean i'm willing to subject others to my bo

neiveel3llson · 2 months

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Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

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sillybond · 8 months

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As a send of here's my compilation of every detail/gag or pretty much everything that I loved about the Fionna and Cake finale.

First off, the lighthearded stuff.

First of all. That's Hunter!!! We finally get to see HW gender-swapped counterpart's design. Gotta say I love that they kept it the same, it does feel like it could fit anyone.

Talking about him, I LOVE that they are finally adding him to the gang. I didn't expect him to be so prevalent in the finale, but I couldn't be happier! It seems like the crew has finnaly learned to apreciate HW and they are inserting her (even if it's Hunter) whenever they can.

All the raw emotion of the lich would have been unheard of at any other point in AT's history. The depression and hopelessnes, such human emotions were amazing to explore in him. He poses himself as a "ceesless weel" a god-like beeing of pure destruction, but even he neels when he realices it was all for nothing.

For some time I theorized that Golb (and subsequently Golbetty) was, in fact, Scarabs and Prismo's Boss. Kind of like a ultimate deity, high up on the pantheon. But seeing how Scarab adresses her in such a careles way, emphasizing that she should "stay out of this" made me think about the real power dinamic between thees two. And thus, of the whole multiverse bureocracy.

This tittle card rips me apart. It's briming with thematic importance. But I feel so many emotions simply beacuse it says cheers, it's like a send-off, a happy cheerfull goodbye to all of us who enjoyed this show. It made me tear up a bit when I first saw it.

For thoose who aren't aware Pawn Swan's was created by Steven Wolfhard after CAWM alongside the pup kingdom. He has in his tumblr a gigantic amount of lore about it. I'm sooo happy they finally got to use his ideas and designs. Many of the pups seen all trought Shermy and Beth's sequence were in his drawings too. So go check that out!

I'm a complete sucker for happy endings and THIS was PERFECTION. I simply connot describe how much I obsolutely LOVE that they are able to comunicate and talk. it's just perfect, this show has me spoiled-rotten.

In pure Marceline fashion Marshal tries playing another song. And Gary is soo into this man it's unreal

But, also in pure Marceline fashion, he gets interupted. It kind of reminded me about Marceline's song to Bonny in Obsidian. But it's kind of the oposite outcome, Scarab isn't affected by it at all while Glorbo is finaly delt with.

Talking about Simon being happy. I'm just so glad that he has been able to reconect with Astrid!!! This man is such a DAD, I love him :,)

Before Fionna's world was finaly canonized we can see that it really just amounts to the city. Which makes sense because if you are trying to put a whole world in a dude's head, you are going to have to cut some stuff out.

Anyways, after they are made legit we can see that the city has expanded! And I also assume that now there's not only a city, but a whole world too!!

This really came as a surprise honeslty, but a welcomed one at that. I assume that since Jay agrees to stay in the city, even if it's not forever, Farmworld Finn must be fine. It doesn't make any sense for him to drop his 4 little brothers just to screw around in another universe.

The only sad part is that, since we don't see neither PB nor Marcy in the tank that means they are probably dead. In the end it does seem like they took eachothers life, together.

Now onto the heavy stuff!

"This is the world we want to fight for. The Scarab is kind of invincible. But we won't give up. If we die, we'll die together, as ourselves"

This cuts deep. At this moment Fionna was ready to die. She acknowledges that she had tried everything she could and that, in a way, it was her fault. But she also understands that this is what it is. And she's ready to depart. In what she thought were her last moments she found happines in thoose and that around her. Magic or not, they were all together, and that's what mattered.

"We made our choices. We could have made better ones, but I don't have any regrets. You were a wonderful experience"

We knew Simon had wronged Betty. She had put away everything for him. He didn't do it on porpuse, but he recognised he could have been more thoughtful. In the end, while Simon acknowledges his mistakes Betty doesn't demonise neither him nor the relationship that came bacuse of it. It's a very sentimental, heartfelt conclusion.

As humans we often try to make our best to navigate life. But with all the choices in front of us it's very hard to get it right. A lot of time might have to pass before we truly see how wrong we were. We realize that we hurt people, and that things didn't have to be this way. But once we acknowledge this we can finaly move on. At this moment, Simon realizes that it's okay to fail but, unfortunetly, we can't go back. We have to live with it and it can't prevent us from moving forward.

In the end all we can do is have compassion for ourselves, and for each other.

That was pretty much all of the details and highlights for me. There's some other ones but they are kind of too obvious to point out.

Thanks a lot for reading the whole thing! It means a lot :)

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carmensbloggg · 13 days

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976-EVIL

ᯓ★ j. maybank x female (kook) reader

synopsis : jj has been obsessed with reader since the moment he first saw her. one day he plucks up the courage to talk to her, to his surprise, all goes well

warnings : use of y/n, language, all in 2nd person, not proofread

a/n : i love jj x kook reader so much they have my whole heart

Crack a smile and wave

It doesn't scare me away

Hit the brakes

I feel like cruising with you too

“Look, it’s your girl,” Kie half jokes as she points towards you walking into The Wreck. JJ’s head immediately snaps up to look at the pretty girl that had just walked in.

The first time he ever saw you was on your way back home from school. He could tell because you were still dressed in your uniform; skirt rolled short, socks pulled up to your knees, tie wrapped perfectly. Everything about you looked so flawless. There was one thing though, your mascara had run down your cheeks, your eyes were glossy and your nose was red. You had bumped into him and were quick to apologise as he helped stabilise you. You were gone as quick as you came and he thought he would never see you again.

Boy was he wrong.

The second time he saw you was at a kegger on the boneyard. You were with your friends at the shore, anyone looking at you would see you all were clearly intoxicated. JJ wasn’t looking at your friends though, he was only focused on the light pink dress that adorned your curves. Your plush thighs that were on display, your tits that almost spilled out the top of your dress. Your platform flip flops that made you appear taller, only by a few inches. Your lip gloss that reflected in the moonlight as you laughed with the girls around you. You shook some hair away from your face, allowing it to flow freely in the wind. He thought you were the most pretty girl he had ever seen as he kept a close eye on you. He had no intention whatsoever of going over to you and introducing himself, you were drunk and probably wouldn’t even remember him. His eyes remained on you the whole night, making sure no one approached you and that you were safe.

The third time he saw you was at Midsummers. John B had told him to give a note to Sarah Cameron, and you being a kook was there too. You were crying, once again, and running away from Ben Madden. JJ watched as Ben tried consoling you and failed as you slapped him and ran out the doors into the house, assumingly going home. He wanted to help you, he really did, but he knew you wouldn’t want a pogue like himself to calm you down.

And that brings us to the fourth time, right now at The Wreck. He should’ve expected it honestly, where else would a kook girl go on a Saturday? Nevertheless, he enjoyed your presence and the ability to watch you. His friends however, do not enjoy when JJ watches you. Pope has told him countless times that his ‘need to protect you’ is not healthy and Kie just hates that you distract him so much from their plans without even knowing. John B doesn’t seem to care, but he does get annoyed from time to time when JJ ignores him. Obviously the boy doesn’t mean to do it on purpose, you’re just so captivating.

“JJ,” Kie sighs before Pope chimes in. “Are you ever going to actually talk to her? Or just stare at her whenever she’s around,” Pope asks rhetorically, every one of course knowing the answer. “I can’t talk to her, she’d probably get scared and walk away, and then everyone would know JJ Maybank has no game,” his head rests in his hands as sadness makes itself clear on his face. “This is depressing,” Pope deadpans and JJ lays his head on the table.

Just as silence falls over the table, John B catches you looking towards JJ. “JJ, dude, look up,” he shakes his friend, making sure you’re still looking. Confusion washes over your features as John B tries so desperately to get JJ to lift his head up. JJ reluctantly raises his head and groans a “what,” to John B, who simply nods in your direction. Thankfully you’re still looking at JJ and the confusion washes away when he smiles and waves at you. You softly smile back and wave to him before returning to your own conversation, occasionally sharing more glances with the blonde a few tables over from you.

“JJ Maybank has game after all,” JJ smiles to himself. “You should talk to her,” Kie pushes him, only to be turned down. “I can’t, she’s with her friends,” he makes up an excuse. “Who cares? Go on, go,” John B pushes further, until he eventually gives in and walks over to your table.

He stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before clearing his throat. Your conversation comes to a halt at the suddenness of his presence. “Hi,” you smile softly up at him. “Hi,” he chokes out. No one says anything and you’re left making eye contact for a few seconds before you decide to speak up. “Is everything okay?” you nervously laugh a little at his shyness. “Oh, shit- sorry yeah, um a few minutes ago I smiled and waved at you and you smiled and waved back,” he begins to explain. “Yeah,” you smile and nod, recalling the moment shared. “And uh, now you’re talking to me so I was just wonderin’ if I scared you, but I’m guessing I didn’t because you’re still here,” his nervousness radiates through his tone. “You’re asking if you’re scary?” you almost laugh at the poor boy. He hesitantly nods, only now realising he had no plan whatsoever with this. “Scary? You? Not a chance pretty boy,” you giggle, surprised a little at your sudden boldness. A light red hue takes over his face as he slowly nods. “Can I get your number?” he manages to get out, he’s not really sure how though, the only thing in his mind is your words. “Mhm, of course,” you smile as you write your number on a napkin and hand it to him. “Thank you,” he says as he makes his way back over to his fiends.

“JJ Maybank has game after all,” he repeats as he waves the napkin in the pogue’s faces.

After about 15 minutes, your friends decide to leave, but not you. Confidence surges through you as you make your way over to the blonde pogues table, already planning the words in your head.

“Um, hi,” you nervously state to him and his friends. They all greet you, JJ being the last to do so. You recognised Kiara, you were friends with her during her kook year. “I was wondering if maybe I could go home with you tonight? If that’s okay with you of course,” you ask JJ, expecting a no in return. “Uh, sure, yeah, that’s fine, the house might be a little messy though,” he warns you. “That’s okay, messy is good,” you nod, being reminded of your own house which always looks like it was bought yesterday.

Obviously JJ isn’t going to take you back to his own house, god knows what his dad would do or say. The Chateau is really his only option here. “Yeah, of course, come on, we’re going now anyway,” he smiles, getting up from his seat and taking you out into the Twinkie.

“JB you okay to drive?” JJ questions as he throws John B the keys. The boy just nods and you and JJ get in the back. He slings an arm around your shoulder before introducing you to his friends. “So, that’s John B, that’s Pope and you already know Kie,” he points them all out and you nod along, saying hi to each one.

Eventually you make it to ‘JJ’s house’ and you’re shown to the guest bedroom JJ’s room, where both you and JJ sit on the bed. “Pretty nice house,” you comment, looking around. “It’s actually not mine, it’s John B’s, he just lets me crash here,” JJ admits to you. “Oh, do you think he would mind if I stay the night?” you ask, not really wanting to go home. “Probably not, he doesn’t really care,” the boy nods as you both slip into mindless conversation about anything and everything to do with your lives. It’s somehow so easy to talk to someone with such different life experiences than your own. JJ tells you all about his dad and how he and John B became friends and you talk about how your mother is so controlling and your parents fell out of love way before they even had you. JJ sympathises with you about every sad experience you’ve had, and you do the same for him.

After some time you both decide it’s probably best to go to sleep and find comfort in each other’s arms. It’s pretty safe to say the two of you fell in love a little more beyond physical attraction.

a/n pt2 : i don’t really get down with the ending but it’s gonna have to do 😭

#jj maybank x reader #jj obx #jj maybank #jj outer banks #jj x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank one shot

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shinsorokiri · 2 years

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y’know i know a lot of people talk about how they love shane and seb because they’re the damaged men in the game, and like same 100%, but i also see a lot of people kinda dismiss sam as a golden retriever, positive, happy character. but if you really think about it, sam fits into the same category as seb and shane too. like:

1. his mother expresses multiple times to the farmer that although she loves her children, she very much longs to have a life where she doesn’t have to constantly worry about kids. in a way a part of her deep down wishes that sam and vincent didn’t really exist and it tears her apart and vincent isn’t necessarily old enough to grasp the concept, but sam is and you know he notices it. this is the woman who raised him and (i at least headcanon him) as someone who is very observant. he definitely notices these behaviors coming from her. and idk about you, but having an inkling that your mother is unhappy with her life in any capacity would really screw me up personally.

2. his father went to WAR. like fully went to war and i’m thinking he was in the army for 2 and a half years at least because he has a corporal badge (even though it’s upside down) but that means that he was away for bootcamp, then deployed, and if sam is around what? like 19? 20? that means that he became the “man of the household” at 17 or 18. Because I personally believe Kent was away for three to three and a half years. Bootcamp for about 10 weeks, straight to a base for more training, and it seems as though the active war made it so he got deployed into action fairly quickly. So, not only did Sam have an absence where his father should have been during the years he became a young adult, but he has to adjust to his father coming back and struggling with PTSD and quite honestly being shellshocked. (i also believe kent was honorably discharged, meaning something bad happened to him in the war. perhaps it was the same event where he lost many of his friends, but i fully believe the war is still ongoing even when kent returns to the valley considering the traveling merchant is still smuggling things into the town.) all the memories he had of kent are just memories now because his father will never be the same as he was before. And sam KNOWS that! even vince notices it!

3. he’s literally a rebellious skater kid, one of his heart events is him getting in trouble WITH THE MAYOR because he’s skating where he’s not supposed to, AND he purposely tries to sabotage the soup for the potluck and leads in community service hours. he’s a teenage dirtbag baby! a misunderstood edgy kid who acts out because he doesn't know how to express his feelings! and on top of that, with his adhd he’s even more misunderstood and people don’t take him seriously at all. he gets scolded for things that he seemingly just can’t help all the time and that just hurts him and makes him act out even more.

4. sam is also a damaged individual - he’s just better at masking it. seb embraces the darkness and accepts that he is an outcast and doesn’t try to hide the fact he is. shane struggles with addiction and depression publicly and it’s not negative necessarily, but he can’t hide it from anyone. sam has a warped idea that he cannot show his ailments, physical or mental because he needs to be strong for his little brother and give an example of what he believes a man should be (and because of the patriarchal society he lives in he doesn’t know that he can be vulnerable because no one told him because the man who would have been able to explain that to him during the years he really needed to hear it wasn’t there). i fear he suffers a bit from toxic positivity and desperately tries to rely on hobbies to distract him from his reality.

long story short, sam is not just a silly guy, he has depth. i mean come on, he's best friends with sebastian for a reason! they’re similar in ways! he just doesn’t know how to talk about or express it. all this to say, sam is an interesting and deep character that shouldn’t be written off immediately by people.

sam supremacy! lmao

#stardew valley #stardew #stardew valley sam #stardew sam #stardew headcanon #stardew valley headcanon #woke up and thought i'd advocate for samson today #cause i love that guy #sdv sam #sdv

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bruciemilf · 1 year

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What are your fav teen!Bruce headcanons? (Like, not de-aged, I mean just him being a teenager and making Alfred lose decades of lifespan every day)

Thank you!

OOO I'm glad you asked!! If I may be permitted to be an edge lord of preposterous proportions for a second--

I think teen Bruce would be a combination of Battinson, fanon Bruce, and old man Batman from Batman Beyond. He's there only in body. A ghost you can see.

the Waynes carved their name In Gotham's history books by being generous, and helpful, and oh so altruistic philanthropists. They build a pedestal of good deities and put themselves on top.

They wanted to fix the unfixable.

Bruce looks down at his blood covered fists and he knows, like a truth of the ages, he's nothing even close to that.

He's not a healer like his father. Or a fighter like his mother. Bruce, despite his best efforts, will only ever be himself.

What's a boy, if not a gun waiting to be loaded?

"You're not a weapon. You're just a kid. A good one, at that."

"Gotham doesn't need more good kids, Alfred," Bruce says. He stopped calling him "Papa" after turning 8. Still. He might not treat Alfred like a parent anymore, but he listens like a son.

"It doesn't need more apathetic rich boys, either."

Bruce takes that to heart. Or tries to. He has the tendency of learning everything too late.

Nevertheless, time doesn't wait on anyone. And before he knows it, he's a 17 year old wraith, moving through Gotham like poison water.

One time, Carmine Falcone, perhaps the only recluse more well known than Bruce, stops him at a town hall meeting Alfred made him go to.

Wayne Remembrance Day. Big Thanks.

"See, I don't really like comin' to these things. Makes me depressed. "

Bruce nods, flicking his cigarette up. " Me too."

Oz snatches it away from his mouth with a " give me that, Slick' and Bruce doesn't stop him. Alberto Falcone, just as mousy and lost as he was when they were kids, watch him like Bruce is Icarus falling from the sky.

He's taller than his father now. He can only imagine what that does to Falcone's ego.

" It ain't everyday I can say this about someone. But you really impress me, Slick. Carryin' on like a small fish. But boy, you got em fooled. I know another shark when I see one."

Bruce doesn't have anything to say to that.

" Maybe if you keep this up, you'll be the last Wayne standing."

He doesn't have much to say to that, either. He simply sends Alberto Falcone with a swift punch, and walks away.

Watching from the sidelines like a Colosseum spectator, little Tim Drake watches his grumpy neighbour storm away with a thunder in his step.

#bruce wayne #teen bruce wayne #teen!bruce #angst #dc #dc comics #batman #battinson #text #text post #alfred pennyworth

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underground-secret · 2 months

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The Hunter and the Witch~ Dean Winchester x f!reader

Description: (Duo POV) After a hunt gone wrong Dean falls sick. Now on his death bed Sam and Y/N do whatever it takes to save him from the void that is death, even if that means running into trouble.

Warnings: Cannon violence, Ansgt, hospitals, talk about dying and death, illness, heart issues, talk of past deaths, grief, Dean may be OOC or at least his inner thoughts but let me know, Historical and religious talk of the Celts and Christianity if anything is incorrect/ inaccurate pls tell me so I may fix it, cursing

A/N: Thank you so much for 100 followers, never thought this series would get so much love!

Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @okayiamkassandra , @fablesrose , @ada--44 @bonkydarnes , @star-yawnznn , @crazyunsexycool

Word Count: 15,139

Faith

(Master list, Prev. Ch, Next Ch)

I hate hospitals.

I hate hospitals, especially when it is someone you care about on the medical bed.

I hate hospitals, especially when you can’t be in the room with the person; when you have to sit in the waiting room with nothing but pure anxiety coursing through your veins, and everyone around you is in the same position.

At least Sam is with him, that must make both of them feel better. But it doesn't make me feel as better as it should, my leg bounces rapidly no distraction working for me. I tried reading and listening to music on my stupid iPod, but neither worked- not when my mind was going a hundred miles a minute on all the worst possibilities.

It wasn't meant to be a difficult hunt, going after a rawhead. Yet it all went wrong far too quickly, Dean yelled for Sam and I to get the children out of the basement while he stayed behind fighting the thing. It would be a single shot with a taser, easy to mess up on, truthfully, which is why I had given mine up for him to have as an extra one before I carried a young boy out. It was all wrong. So so wrong. He shot the thing but they both happened to be standing in a small puddle of water, and water conducts stupid electricity and he got hurt too.

Sam had found him. We called for an ambulance and rushed him to the hospital, he was unconscious the whole time.

Sam had to talk to the receptionist for insurance and then the cops explaining what happened and then a doctor. But they wanted to talk privately and he wanted to see Dean alone first. Which only increased my anxiety, Sam wouldn’t have done that unless something was horribly wrong. Something was horribly wrong. I felt like I was going to vomit or shake myself out of existence, maybe the latter would be better. Everyone around me wasn't much better, looking the same shade of nervousness. Some were crying, pacing, or on the phone talking rapidly. Hospitals were a horribly depressing place.

I’m unsure how much time passes, minutes, hours, an eternity? Sam walks towards me, tears in his eyes some clearly having spilled over by the redness of his cheeks. No. No. No.

I stand up walking to him almost without noticing as if it was all just natural, tears fill my own eyes and I can feel my hands shaking. No. No. He wouldn't be crying if–

“Sam?” I said weakly, my voice wobbling horribly. I swallow down a knot in my throat, this couldn't be happening. No.

He drops his head down, his hair covering his face and likely more tears that spilled over. “Sam,” I say again my voice breaking. I couldn't lose someone else, couldn't lose anyone else. He finally lifts his head, barely being able to hold eye contact. He seems to wobble and all at once he falls into me, I hold him, his head dropping awkwardly into my neck, from the height difference, broken sobs leaving his mouth. He hugs me tightly, grasping desperately to the back of my shirt. Something is horribly wrong. I blink back my tears, I had to be strong for Sammy. This was his brother, I might have lost both my parents but I couldn't imagine how it would feel to lose my brother.

My neck grows damp but I ignore it. I hold the back of his head, holding him, no comforting words forming in my mind. “Sam” I breathe. I felt like I was going insane. He pulls himself away, keeping me in arm's distance. His face is red and blotchy from crying, and his hair is a mess. “Please” I begged one last time, my voice quivering.

He sniffles hard, but I do not expect him to be strong, “He has a month, at best” his voice is coarse and shaky but the words feel like they came out in slow motion. Everything freezes, turning into a buzz of white noise. I can feel tears spill down my cheeks but I can’t move. I can’t. No. He can’t be dying. No. No. He wasn’t allowed to. The world seemed to shatter, no, maybe that was my heart. I can feel it beating in my ears, everything else fading away. His mouth moves, he is saying something else but I cannot hear him over the sterile noise of the world crumbling. I don't understand. My throat is so tight I feel like I might just break right there. My knees feel weak and the floor seems closer than before.

Sam pulls me into him, holding me tightly once again, his hands cradling my head as a choked sob leaves my lips. Tears pour down my eyes, he promised. All those months ago he promised he wouldn’t leave me, it was a stupid and fruitless promise but I believed it.

He couldn’t die. He can’t, he can’t die. No one else. Not again.

All too soon Sam pulls back, his arms being the only thing that seems to be holding me up. I can barely make out his features behind my own teary eyes. “He wanted me to come get you, ‘wouldn’t talk without you there” he croaks. A whole new sob breaks through my lips, I wasn't strong enough for this. I went through this twice, I could not take another. Tear after tear passes down my face, my cheeks stiff with it. I shake my head, this can’t be happening again, but even so, I let him pull me down the halls to his room trying my best to blink away my never-ending tears. But it was useless, not when it felt like I was being torn in two.

I stopped at the threshold of the doorway, he looked so weak, he was so pale and he had dark circles under his eyes that were not there hours before. An IV sticks out of his arm along with various machines around him, including an EKG. New tears fall over the rim of my eyes and I have to force my hand to clasp my mouth to hide another sob. Sam enters the room, his face hard and rid of any of the emotions he showed just moments ago. How could he do that?

Dean’s eyes are focused on the TV, but even from where I was partially hiding I could see his green eyes had grown dull, “Have you ever actually watched daytime TV? It's terrible” he jokes but he sounded weak too, his voice rid of its usual playful tone and familiar gruffness. Sam shakes his head and sighs, his ability to not break down in front of his brother was impressive to the point of it being scary, “I talked to your doctor.” But Dean continues to ignore anything that wasn’t that stupid TV playing commercials, “That fabric softener teddy bear. Oh, I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down” he responds instead. I want to laugh and ask him what the cute laundry bear ever did to him but I could not find it within me to be humorous, “Dean” I plead weakly my voice betraying me with its cracking. That gets his attention.

His eyes snapped up to where I stood, leaning against the doorframe to prevent myself from crumbling to the floor. His face immediately fills with worry, his eyes softening which is ironic considering who’s in the hospital bed. Without looking away from me he turned off the TV, I could tell he was thinking and worrying over something as he stared at me but I could not look at him without new tears falling. “Yeah. All right, well, ‘looks like you're gonna leave town without me” he finally says, my eyes snap back to him but he has already turned his attention to his brother. “What the hell are you talking about?” I step into the room, my sadness mixing too closely with frustration over his stupid declaration. “We are not gonna leave you here” Sam adds in sternly. “Hey, you better take care of that car” he points at Sam, any hint of a joke void from his voice, “Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass.”

My eyebrows scrunched together, “what's wrong with you?” I accuse, “How are you just accepting this? You are young and have so much life ahead of you” For each word that passed my lips tears followed, my resolve too thin to exist. “You’re meant to grow old, and…and yell at kids to get off your lawn as you work on Baby and maybe other cars with a pet at your side and a lovely home. You’re meant to annoy your brother and me with stupid calls and the same old rock music.” I swallow roughly, ignoring the subtle shock on his face, “It’ll be beautiful and wonderful and we will all be there to watch it happen because you have to live.” My chest heaves, and I’m surprised I have any more tears to give. Life was too cruel before to allow me the opportunity to beg someone to stay as if that feat alone was enough to keep someone alive.

Silence envelopes the room, his eyes are wide and his lips are slightly agape. I don’t believe in God, but I would get on my knees right now and beg and plead and do anything he ever wanted if it meant Dean living. He sighs after what feels like forever, “Look, what can I say, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.” I don’t understand how he could just dwindle his life down to bad luck and a wrong straw. Tears well in my eyes and I have the urge to smack some sense into him. “Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options” Sam insists, his voice breaking slightly. “What options?” Dean asks, “Yeah, burial or cremation?” he pauses for a moment his “joke” not landing, “And I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it.”

It felt like a punch to the gut. How many people will I have to lose until it's enough to feed the glutenous wrath of death? First, it was my mother growing sick and dying, neither my brother nor I was allowed to see her in such a state not even to say goodbye. Then my Dad, who grew reckless in the wake of his only love's death, the coldness about him we had heard about only in stories returning to consume him completely until he drove himself into the ground. I always thought I was most like my mother, but now in the wake of this maybe I am my father's daughter.

I wipe away my tears roughly before clenching my hands, needing my nails to dig into my palms to ground me. “Let me try and heal you,” I say as firmly as my voice will allow. I've never done such a thing on a serious scale, it never got to the point where I felt desperate enough to toe the line of my own morals. But this, for him I would and I would not stay awake at night contemplating my selfishness.

Dean’s POV

Her face was red from crying, and her e/c eyes were filled with deep sadness. She looked shattered, and even so, she was beautiful.

I know I wasn’t being fair to her or Sam. But I always knew I’d die on a hunt, I long accepted it so her big glossy eyes would do nothing to change that fact. Even if it broke her, both of them, which I knew I was already doing. But I also know that sugar-coated truths would only hurt them more, I wasn’t going to allow them to get hopeful not when it would ruin them.

“Please?” she pleads quietly. My resolve breaks, my heart lurches as if it was trying to get closer to her and I didn’t think it had anything to do with the heart attack.

This was for the better, if they saw nothing would work early on they’d hopefully accept my death quicker. Plus I knew she’d stay up every night wondering what more she could have done for me, she’d obsess over it until it broke her all over again. I give her a sharp nod not trusting my voice, her eyes seem to light up a little, and that enough was all the excuse I needed.

She steps closer to my bed, careful not to trip over the wires connecting to me. She got close enough where I could smell her perfume, something sweet and flowery, and undeniably her, I felt warmer just from her closeness. She swallows roughly, “It works better if I can touch you…without the barrier of clothes.” Under any other circumstance I would most likely be flustered by her shy request, I mean this is what I’ve always wanted– to have her. But time was not on my side and I’d never get a chance to tell her, whenever it was I planned on doing so– to do so now with only a week to live would be too cruel. If she didn't like me back I’d die at least knowing and maybe I’d die with a broken heart or whatever crap people complain about. But if she did like me, which Sam insists she does, then a week wouldn't be long enough.

I lift the scratchy hospital shirt, hoping neither saw how much energy the simple action took. She looked nervous as she stared at my bare chest but I could see the hard look of determination in her eyes, she needed this. Carefully she places her hands on the center of my chest, her hands freezing as I suspected they would be but I don't cower from her gentle touch I lean into it further. I bask in it, small sparks igniting where she touched and it had nothing to do with her abilities. She looks up at me, watching my face for any warnings as her own e/c eyes turn to purple and pure warmth extends from her palm seeping into my skin. Maybe I should have been scared, but she was looking at me so gently and she's so beautiful that she must be an angel, and I'm only half the man she deserves.

I suck in a deep breath, clarity hitting me like an arrow, the grogginess and pain I felt melting into a puddle and being replaced with her. It felt like she was cradling my heart, caressing it gently like she would my face, her kindness and love seeping into the vessel, and truthfully I don't ever want it back. She could have my heart. She could have every part of me, and I'd never ask for it back. It's hers. I'm hers. My mouth fell agape, her hair fell onto her face, and I could feel it in my bones. I could feel the tension leave my shoulders and it was like everything I'd been carrying was lifted away. I don't care if she was healing me or not, I want her hands on me, I want to feel her. Just her. She was the sun and I was a fool begging to be closer, even if it burned, even if it was impossible.

Her hands begin to shake violently, but she pushes on, she holds on to me. Her fingers look like they want to curl and dig into my skin and it's clear she's fighting against the instinct, she doesn't want to hurt me not that I would mind any marks she printed into my skin. She lets her head hang, closing her eyes, “Oh fuck” she whines quietly and I have to desperately keep my mind clean. ‘Not the time to have those thoughts or acknowledge how hot that was. I lift a hand pushing her hair out of her face and behind her ear, keeping my hand there to hold her. Again I have to force away any ideas of what noises I could get her to make in a similar position. She looks up at me from her lashes as she bites down on her bottom lip hard, and I wonder how much longer I can keep my mind clean.

Suddenly deep crimson drips down her upper lip, and she begins to shake more. “Wait, wait Y/N” I breathe, looking from her over to Sam with concern. He pulls her off of me, she looks drained and paler than I know I am. She wipes at her nose, the blood has seemingly stopped, but she still shakes and wobbles. Sam pushes her down onto a nearby seat and I pull down my shirt, “How do you feel?” he asks me. “Peachy” I respond, smirking. He rolls his eyes, “I’m being serious. Did it work?”

“I feel better, not as weak” I answer truthfully. She nodded her head, her voice quieter than moments before, “Call for a nurse we should see if anything physically changed.”

“What about you? What was all that?” I ask. She shrugs, “‘Never really done it on a scale like this before, but it takes a lot out of you.”

Your POV

The doctor finally comes back, sifting through the papers on his clipboard, he looks shocked and confused which I hope is for the better because being lightheaded and on the verge of passing out would be worth it. “‘Looks like there has been some improvement, which would explain why you feel better,” he says, the room growing quiet with hope, “The difference is slight but well enough to know it wasn't a fluke” he looks up, “But I’d say it wasn't enough to change the outcome, I’m sorry.” Somehow the second time was worse. Hope was worse. “Thank you, Doctor” Sam replies sadly, and with a nod, the doctor leaves but does not take our sorrow with him.

“I can keep trying. Eventually, it will add up, and the more I do it the longer I’d be able to go” I offer, desperation clear on my tongue that it's almost embarrassing. “We can keep trying that but we should look at other options too” Sam adds. I nod my head vigorously in agreement. “You shouldn't get your hopes up, I’ve already accepted I’m gonna die you should too” Dean responds instead.

“Not happenin’” Sam retorts.

After we used up all our visiting hours we headed to the library, skipping out on eating to research for hours on both supernatural and not– just anything related to heart conditions and healing. I didn't ask why Sam didn't stay with his brother, he was family so he didn't have to follow visitation hours but I also figured he would rather spend his time trying to find a solution. Currently, Sam went the more “normal” route, pulling and printing articles on heart surgeries and other doctor stuff while calling several people. At the same time, I delved into the dark that is the unnatural.

Sam left a while ago, heading back to the motel with all his articles. I insisted on staying behind to “look for more,” in reality, I was going to make a call. The library closed in less than an hour and I already researched several Gods associated with healing, the side of my hand had turned dark with the ink stains. Though it was unsuccessful it was helpful for two reasons; one I at least looked, meaning it was one more thing I could check off, and two it pushed me to make a call I wasn't sure I was ready for.

What I needed was to be home, to look through many books on mythology and witchcraft, there I would find something but that was halfway across the country and each day that passed would be a day wasted. And teleporting books here wouldn't be helpful when there were so many of them and I wasn't sure where I would even begin.

I stare at my phone on the table, this shouldn't be a big deal. I call her all the time, well not as of late which I already got yelled at for. No, none of that mattered. She could lecture me a hundred times or resent me for months. I needed to help Dean. I swiftly pick up my phone, scrolling down to her contact, I don't hesitate to hit “call”, I’ve already hesitated too many times today.

The phone rings three times before she picks up, “Adeline” I start my voice already cracking with emotion. I can almost hear her jump to her feet, “Y/N?! What happened? Where are you? Are you safe? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I did not think I had any more tears left but was proven wrong when another tear slipped down my cheek, “Dean he’s…” I couldn’t say it, couldn't make it more real than it already was. I swallow roughly, trying to cram down my emotions for the time being, I’ve cried enough today, “Dean he’s dying, and I don't know–” a strangled sob leaves my lips and I have to force myself together resting my head on my hand for support, “I don't know what to do” I finished weakly. I hear her suck in a deep breath and it only makes me feel worse, “I-I want help…I need help,” I add, “I tried healing him, the doctor said the effect was minor but I’m gonna keep doing it, even if it takes a lot out of me.”

She exhales, “I’m really sorry Y/N”. I shake my head even though I know she can't see me. I ignored her comment, there was nothing to be sorry for because he was going to be alright, “Do you have any ideas? Maybe I’m doing something wrong or could be doing it better?”

She goes quiet again and it is hard to hold on to hope, “please,” I say quietly hoping she can hear me. She clears her throat, her voice cold and serious, “I’d try some herbal tea, one with healing properties any one of it will help or at least make him more comfortable.” I hum picking up my pen again, writing ‘herbal tea’ on my arm, I didn’t want to risk forgetting.

She sighs again, but it isn’t disappointed or even exhausted, “Don’t…don’t get your hopes up.” I shake my head vigorously again, “I’m not listening to this. I called for help cause you’re the only person I can think of who would know even a wisp of this. I’m desperate for help, not a lecture.” I know I was being cruel, ‘could hear it. She wasn’t trying to hurt me. “No, Y/N please listen. This isn’t an easy task, honestly, I’d like to say it’s impossible but I don’t want you to hang up on me. This doesn't come without great sacrifice.”

“And what if I’m okay with that?” I snap back, “I’m willing to sacrifice.”

“This is different,” she spits a hint of anger on her tongue, “I don’t mean just going against everything you believe in or against your mother's words. I mean making deals with demons, where you could lose your soul or your life or what makes you whole or maybe even worse.” I go quiet. I know she’s right, she always is. But I know my answer, I know what I’m willing to do, “I said I’m willing to make sacrifices.”

“Are you?” she counters. And without hesitation, I answer, “I love him.” I could tell she was getting frustrated with me, for not listening to her warning or taking her seriously even though I was. Of course, I know this is dark and messy territory, but that did not concern me. I can hear her swallow, her voice turning hard again, “What you would need to do would be more than love him.”

“Would it?” I counter.

“Yes,” she replies sternly, “And I won’t help you with that.” It was hard to be mad at her, she was just watching out for me trying to protect me. That was her job after all. But I wanted so desperately for him to be okay, he had to be. “Whether you help me or not, I will do everything in my power to fix this. He won't die.”

“I know you will. That’s what scares me.”

My eyebrows furrow, “I don’t understand.”

“I hope you never will,” she huffs out a breath, “I don’t want you to regret anything.” I couldn't vocalize it, did not even know how to make her understand what I felt–that even if I lost him now if I never saw him again. If I sat on his grave weeping for the man I loved with new flowers in my hand each day and each year. If I never got to hold his hand again. If I never got to see him smile again– that cocky smile. Even if I never got to tell him that I loved him…even then, I would never regret knowing him. Never regret the first time we met and never, never regret loving him. But I don’t say that, instead settling for, “I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

She turns serious once more, determined even, “You won’t. I’m on my way to your place now, I’ll go through your books, and I’ll call you back the second I find something.” She may not agree with my decisions all the time, and might even be upset that we don’t talk as much anymore but at the end of the day we’re best friends–more than that really, “Thank you, Adeline.”

“Of course, now don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” she laughs lightly, “I love you, talk to you later.” I smile for the first time in hours, “I love you too, be safe.”

I let myself into the motel room. Sam doesn’t look up from his place on the bed, papers surround him, some in the garbage which I assume were ones that won't work out. I make my way to the small table in the corner of the room, avoiding looking at where Dean slept the night before. I take out my spellbook, my small journal, and my laptop. My eyes were killing me, most likely from crying so much before.

The next few days would follow a similar pattern, Sam would fall asleep but never for very long before getting coffee and a quick bite to eat before continuing his search. And I spent the nights awake, sleep could not find me at the edge of the void. At some point crumbled pieces of paper surrounded me and I felt like a college student again, I didn't want to do anything but look for an answer. Adeline called once that first night, but it didn't wind up leading anywhere.

The second morning I prepared tea for Dean, arriving at the hospital with the steaming cup and food that wasn't from the hospital. He looked happy to see me and complained about how bored he was there. He looked horrible, and it hurt my chest to see him like that so I just nodded to what he said. He drank the tea with nearly no complaint but instead curiosity, I explained I had boiled Sun water, before making homemade ginger tea adding cinnamon sticks, chamomile, and honey for taste. He asked me to explain to him why I chose each one, though I wasn't sure he truly cared and just wanted to hear me speak since he was relentless with his questions. I healed him again and laid with him when he asked. Then the rest of the while we talked as I did research.

Somehow being there, and watching him worsen was worse than not being there at all. I think I understand now why we weren't allowed to be there when my mom died. I would have rathered someone just stabbed me in the heart over and over then see his eyes grow duller. I healed him again before I was kicked out.

I felt hopeless. I wasn't going to give up but I felt hopeless. It was like I wasn't myself but watching myself go through the motions.

The second night wasn't much better. I slept for a couple of hours only to wake up crying. I didn't try to sleep after that. I prayed to God that night. I hadn't done that in years. I hadn't begged him for mercy since my mother died. I think I was on my knees for hours, the harsh carpet digging into my skin, but that didn’t matter. I barely felt it after a while. I apologized for not praying in years, for only praying when it benefited me which I knew was selfish. I asked for help, and begged for it. I needed him to help Dean. I said I’d do anything he wanted if he did that, even if it meant becoming a nun. I felt incredibly embarrassed begging like that, I didn't even believe in God yet there I was my hands pressed together and the carpet beneath my knees. I cried again that night, for everyone I've lost and how far I would go to save another.

Adeline was wrong, I decided. Sacrifice didn't come with the solution, it came with the search for the answer. Like I said, I didn't feel like myself. I knew I was losing myself each hour that passed and I knew it would only get worse if he did die.

On the third morning, I did the same thing I did the morning before. But after healing him for the first time that morning, I broke in front of him. “I don't want you to go,” I told him, sobbing. He just held me against him even though I knew it hurt him, but he just stroked my head anyway mumbling “I know, I know” into my hair. I could hear his voice breaking with each letter; somehow, that was worse than seeing him act as if he didn't care. Then very quietly he whispered, “I don't know how to comfort someone when I know I’m the source of their pain.”

They did more tests on him. He wasn't getting better, at least not fast enough. It seemed my healing was just halting its progress momentarily, in a sense slowing it down before it continued. I needed to stay on him longer but I wasn’t sure how and ‘could barely make it past 20 minutes before I began to shake so badly and feel so faint like my chest was being pulled open with the sharp nails of cold hands.

I went back to the motel dragging my feet. It had been three days and we had nothing to show for it but failed attempts which I suppose is better than no attempts though it didn’t much feel that way. When I got there I returned to my corner at the table, moving away my mess of “work” with a swipe of my arm. I crumble into the wooden chair, laying my forehead on the edge of the table, I didn’t know what to do. I’d keep looking no matter what, that would not change. I would search through every book on every myth, god, folklore, anything. I’d do whatever it took, I just hoped time would not beat us to the finish line.

With a huff, I pulled my latest book from the library closer to me, a book on Greek Gods. I pick up where I left off in the thick book on the God of healing and medicine Asclepius. I read the passage about him, and it seemed promising, “He was considered a symbol of medical knowledge, skill, and wisdom. Known for his ability to heal the sick and revive the dead, Asclepius played an essential role in Greek religious and medical traditions…He was known for his exceptional skill in diagnosing diseases and treating wounds. His abilities were so profound that he could even bring the dead back to life, a talent that eventually led to his downfall…The Asclepieia, healing temples dedicated to the god, were spread throughout Greece and were renowned centers of medical practice. Pilgrims would travel great distances to seek healing, engaging in purification rituals, sacrifices, and dream incubation, where they would sleep in the temple and receive divine guidance through dreams.”

The rest of the chapter contains no more info on the healing aspect but just more of his legacy and whatnot. I close the book sharply, pulling open my laptop to do more research on him. Maybe a temple still existed, and considering Pilgrims there might even be one in America somewhere. Just as I type the temple name into Google a knock sounds from the door.

For a moment I think Sam forgot his keys, but when I turned to where he always was he was there. He looks at me confused and I shrug my shoulders, “Maybe it’s room service?” He answers by going to the door and opening it curiously. I watch from my seat, tilting my chair back to get a better look. But it is not room service, or someone knocking at the wrong door, it’s Dean. I almost fall backward, my chair slams forward back on all four legs I shoot up from my seat.

He leans on the doorframe, holding his side. He still has dark circles under his eyes and just looks sickly which is only accentuated by the black zip-up he wore, which was odd for him he never really wore sweaters. “What the hell are you doing here?” Sam exclaims his voice a mix of surprise and confusion. Dean limps his way just a little bit further into the room, leaning on a dresser next to the door, “I checked myself out,” he responds placing all his weight on the thing. I didn't even know a sick patient could check themselves out like that. “What, are you crazy?” Sam exclaims.

Dean shrugs, “Well, I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.” He turns his head to wink at me and gives me that devilish smile. My jaw dropped, baffled wasn't even the word to explain it. This had to be the most Dean Winchester thing Dean could have ever done, I could not fathom it. I wanted to call him an idiot but I was too shocked to give any response. Sam huffs a laugh as he shuts the door, “You know, this whole I-laugh-in-the-face-of-danger-thing? It’s crap. I can see right through it, we both can.”

Dean moves himself further into the room leaning on anything he could, “Yeah, whatever, dude. Have either of you even slept? You look worse than me.” Sam helps him to the bed, sitting him down, “We’ve been scouring the Internet for the last three days.”

I sit back in my chair, scooting it so I can face them both, “I don't know how either of our laptops survived this. Late at night, I think I can hear it cry.”

Dean purses his lips, “Lack of sleep has made you crazy.” It was my turn to huff a laugh, and for that fraction of a second everything felt normal. But that moment of normalcy breaks as Sam adds, “I’ve also called every contact in Dad’s journal.” I was brought right back to the present, back to the reason we were doing all of this to begin with. “For what?” Dean asks.

“For a way to help you,” Sam explains, “One of Dad’s friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist.”

“Wait, why didn't you tell me sooner?” I ask.

“He called back when you were with Dean,” he answers, “I was going to tell you when you came back but didn't get the chance before he decided to break out.” I hum an ‘oh’ in response. “You’re not gonna let me die in peace, are you?” Dean chimes in, hunched over.

“I’m not gonna let you die, period. We’re going” Sam says, end of discussion.

The Impala bumps along the gravel road, I was beyond happy we finally arrived. The sky was cloudy and grey with a thin layer of mist clinging to everything, it reflected the past couple of days and the ride quite perfectly. Dean rested in the back seat the entire time, his face scrunched in discomfort, we stopped a couple of times so I could jump back there and heal him for a short while.

The car comes to a full stop among others in a large green field, a large white circus tent stealing the show. A sign nearby reads The Church of Roy LeGrange. Faith Healer. Witness The Miracle. I was skeptical, but like Sam said our options were low. I wasn’t religious and certainly hated when things like this existed, giving people false hope and feeding them lies, when they could be looking at real options and getting real help but I guess I was being a hypocrite considering how I spent my time kneeling to a God I didn't believe in. Many people walked towards it, all sick, some with canes, walkers, breathing devices, etc. I get out of the car slowly, eyeing the scene carefully. We’re all just desperate people, hoping a tent in the middle of nowhere will save our loved ones.

Sam gets out of the car, rounding the vehicle to help his brother get out of the car. Dean grimaces as he tries to lift himself, “I got ya” Sam tells him trying to grab him but Dean shoves him away, “I got it” he spits. He fixes himself, pissed off, but uses the car to hold himself up leaning on it, “Man, you are a lying bastard. ‘Thought you said we were going to see a doctor.”

“I believe I said a specialist” Sam corrects. I squint my eyes at him, “You’re not slick. But…” I say stretching out the word, “We should try, at the very least.”

“And this guy is supposed to be the real deal” Sam adds, nodding. Dean scuffs, rolling his eyes, “I can’t believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent.”

An old woman walks by holding a big black umbrella, “Reverend LeGrange is a great man” she declares. “Yeah, that’s nice” Dean sarcastically remarks. I hold back on batting his arm as I would normally, “Be nice” I mumble instead.

We walk away from the old lady and the car heading toward the tent, walking past an angry man who is struggling against an officers hold, “I have a right to protest. This man is a fraud. And he’s milking all these people of their hard-earned money.” I suck in a sharp breath, mumbling an “Amen, brother” underneath my breath. But the Sheriff seems to ignore the man's declaration, holding him back while trying to lead him away, “Sir, this is a place of worship. Let’s go. Move it.” The man huffs, walking away with the Sheriff. “I take it he’s not part of the flock” Dean remarks.

Sam purses his lips, half shrugging, “When people see something they can’t explain, there’s controversy.”

Dean stops short, getting our attention and making us stop too, “I mean, come on, Sam, a faith healer? And what about you Y/N you don’t believe in this crap.”

I hold up my hands in surrender, “You're right. I don’t. And I think making a whole religion out of it that smells more like a cult than anything, it’s ridiculous. But there’s a good chance this is legit,” I drop my hands back at my side, “He’s probably using magic like I was doing with you, it's just that he's, hopefully, more successful.” He pressed his lips together tightly, I got him there. “See, maybe it’s time to have a little faith, Dean,” Sam adds.

“You know what I’ve got faith in?” Dean exclaims, “Reality. And this won’t work. I mean do you really think this guy is a dude-witch.”

I purse my lips, “I’m pretty sure the term would be a wizard, but, uh, I don't know. I’d have to see it in action to know for certain along with anything around him while he works, rituals and stuff.” I pause for a moment, thinking it over, “I do hope he’s real and not an elaborate con artist, and I hope he’s better than me at the whole healing thing.” I was being blatantly honest. I hoped it would encourage Dean to not fight this version of help, and I truly did wish this guy could help. “And if you know evil’s out there, how can you not believe good’s out there, too?” Sam chimes in, a hint of annoyance on his tongue. A muscle in Dean’s jaw twitches, “Because I’ve seen what evil does to good people.”

Dean’s POV

I snapped in a moment of weakness and said too much. “Dean” she sighs, placing a gentle hand on my upper arm, stepping closer to me almost subconsciously. I didn’t want a lecture full of sappy nonsense and corny poetry. She must have known that because she smiled sadly, her lip curving up on one side, my eyes following the movement, “Good does exist, it has to,” she says simply ever the optimist. She tilts her head slightly, looking up at me through her curled eyelashes, her hand still on my arm, my knees feel weak. “I'm sure you can think of at least one good person. Of course, the terms good and evil are subjective…” she cuts her cute rambling off, “but you get what I mean.”

I guess she was right. Sammy’s a good person sometimes a total asshole but I guess that came with the territory of being brothers. And Y/N’s the definition of being a good person, she’s always been kind even to people who didn't deserve it, including me. I remember a couple of times I was cruel to her when we were kids, always about her being a witch, yet for some reason she accepted my apology and even wanted to keep being friends. For a long time, I didn’t understand her, ‘how she could be sweet and smile at a world filled with darkness. Sometimes I think I still don't get her. “Please just give it a try,” she pleads, “And if it doesn't work or turns out to be a con you can make fun of us the whole way back.”

I studied her again, she looked drained and I knew she hadn't been sleeping all because of me. “Fine” I huff. She bites back a smile and suddenly complying with this stupid faith healer was worth it.

“And who knows, maybe God works in mysterious ways” an unfamiliar voice butts in. I didn't care to look who it was, solely focused on the girl who still had her hand on me; a smile on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes, one I hadn't seen in three days. “Maybe he does” I respond, half heartily, I look up briefly catching the eyes of an attractive blonde holding a black umbrella. I averted my eyes back to my girl, but she was already looking away at the woman who interrupted us, her hand slipped down my arm.

“Uh, hi. I’m Y/N” she introduces herself, holding out the hand that was touching me only moments ago. She accepts her hand, “Layla. And these two?” Layla says looking past her. “Sam,” he introduces himself before motioning to me, “Dean.” I give her a tightlipped smile in response.

She smiles at me, “So, if you’re not a believer, then why are you here?” She was attractive, you’d have to be blind not to see it but my interest is elsewhere. I can't fool myself into thinking that'll work out. Hell, I'm probably gonna end up dead. And yeah, it's harsh, but I can't shake the feeling that I'd rather spend what time I've got with Y/N, not waste it chasing after other girls just to fill the gap she left without even knowing it. I’m self-aware enough to know that. “Well, apparently my brother here believes enough for the both of us” I muse. An older woman with blondish-gray hair walks over, putting an arm around the girl, “Come on, Layla. It’s about to start.” Both women smile at us before walking away.

“Well, you heard the woman,” Y/N starts, “We should get you inside.” Sam nods leading the way.

Your POV

The tent is packed, full of people trying to find seats, it smells of hope and despair if that’s possible. “Yeah, peace, love, and trust all over,” Dean remarks, nodding over to a camera in the corner. Did churches have cameras? “I guess it makes sense,” I try to reason, “‘probably get more people like that dude outside protesting, maybe even getting violent.”

Dean slips away sitting down on one of the foldable chairs. “Hey no,” I point at him, “You are not gonna be all brooding and hide in the back.” His shoulders slump, “Let’s sit here.”

“No” I answer simply, eyebrows scrunched. He opens his mouth in a retort but his brother steps in, putting an arm around him and practically dragging him from the seat and towards the front, “Oh, come, on, Sam” Dean growls. Mistaking his anger for pain Sam halts in his movements, “You alright?”

“This is ridiculous” Dean bites, slapping his brother’s hands away, “I’m good, dude, get off of me.” I roll my eyes at their behavior, even in public, and even with one of them being severely sick they could still act childish and make a scene. I look around the closer rows, looking for seats, “Look at that” I smile turning back to the boys, “seats” I point to three empty seats not only close to the front but right behind Layla, the girl from before. She seemed nice, maybe a little strange in randomly joining the conversation but it wasn’t a big deal. “Perfect” Sam agrees, lightly shoving his brother in that direction. “Yeah, perfect” Dean remarks, sarcasm clear in his voice.

“Take the aisle,” Sam tells his brother before moving into the row of seats, I move in after him taking the seat between them. Dean grumbles something, his face having ‘irritable’ all over it, but he sits quietly, arms crossed.

An old man with white hair and sunglasses steps onto the stage with the help of an older woman with brown hair tied back. He must be the famous Roy LeGrange, “Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann, reads me the news. Never seems good, does it?” he says with a classic southern accent, the crowd muttering agreements, “Seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act.”

“He could say that aga–'' I began to mumble. “Huh” I hum to myself, my eyes catching on a particular religious item, why would there be a Celtic cross? I mean the cross represented the blending of the Celts and Christians but there are many separations between the two from believing in multiple gods to human sacrifice–

“But, I say to you, God is watching,” he preaches, and if I wasn't so focused on that wooden cross I might have rolled my eyes forgetting my manners, especially when the crowd responded with “Yes he is.” It sounded very cultish, the hair on my arms standing up. Maybe it wasn’t that weird for there to be a Celtic cross, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling. I racked my brain for information on it, and I just couldn’t see it used in Christian churches anymore. Though of course, I could be wrong, it's not like I go to church every day or even once a week. But again it felt a little too weird to just brush off–

“God rewards the good, and He punishes the corrupt” Roy continued getting loud cheering and more murmuring. I look at the people around me strangely, I forget how powerful religion is…

Speaking of which, that damn Celtic cross again. Alright, think. The Celtic cross represents life and death, creating dynamic tension, the vertical arm represents the life aspect while the horizontal arm signifies death, the circle acting as a portal to transformation. In simpler terms, the cross and circle represent opposing forces; life and death, yet they harmonize with the Celtic cross, emphasizing unity and balance, they coexist. But what does that mean here? Okay, well he’s supposedly healing people which would be the life aspect and the death could represent the healing cheating death? No, that sounded like a stretch. Maybe this was all a stretch and the cross meant nothing. I’m just overreacting because I'm scared of what will become of this if this man was a con or whatever else. Yeah, that makes more sense—

“It is the Lord who does the healing here, friends. The Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts,” Roy proclaimed.

“Yeah,” Dean whispers just loud enough for Sam and me to hear, “and into their wallets.” But it wasn’t quiet enough, “You think so, young man?” Oh, that was weird. The crowd falls dead silent, “Sorry” Dean apologizes. “No, no. Don’t be.” Roy shakes his head, “Just watch what you say around a blind man, we’ve got real sharp ears.” The crowd laughs but an unpleasant feeling worms itself into my stomach. It was innocent enough but something felt off and I don't think it has anything to do with Dean being scrutinized. “What’s your name, son?” Roy asks. He clears his throat, sitting straighter in his seat, “Dean.”

“Dean” Roy repeats nodding to himself, “I want…I want you to come up here with me.” My eyes widened, maybe God finally listened. “No, it’s okay” he shakes his head. “What are you doing?!” Sam whisper-yells, but his brother ignores him.

“You’ve come here to be healed, haven’t cha?” Roy inquires.

“Well, yeah, but, uh…maybe you should just pick someone else” Dean attempts to reason. And I hate the way he doesn't believe he is worthy of saving. The crowd claps loudly, “Oh, no. I didn’t pick you, Dean, the Lord did.” Had we been here for any other reason I might have been more disturbed by that proclamation, but this was a chance. The crowd roars in excitement, voices mixed in encouragement. Dean looks overwhelmed, I place a hand on his knee gaining his attention quickly, “Dean, this is good, go” I whisper to him even though I was unsure of this whole thing and that odd cross. He studies me for half a moment, something I couldn't recognize passing over his features before he reluctantly raises, my hand slipping from his leg.

The woman from before helps Dean to the stage, situating him next to the healer, “You ready?” he asks Dean. “Look, no disrespect, but, uh, I’m not exactly a believer,” Dean says, looking between the crowd and the old man. But Roy just smiles, “You will be, son. You will be,” he turns to the crowd arms raised, “Pray with me, friends.” Again, almost like a cult, the crowd joins hands as Roy moves his hands to place on Dean; one on his shoulder and the other to the side of his head. I hold my breath, I want this to work so badly, I hadn't even begun to think of a plan B if this didn't.

Suddenly Dean’s eyes glaze over, it was never like that when I healed him, and then he seems to wobble sinking to his knees. I gasped, I didn't think it would be so intense or that my heart would beat so fast. A deep chill runs up my spine seeping into my bones, my skin prickles with goosebumps, the Celtic cross comes into view again and I suddenly feel sick, a horrible feeling tangling itself in between my stomach. I don't know where to look the cross or Dean, my eyes flipping between the two rapidly all until Dean's eyes roll back and he crumbles down onto the stage floor. Sam manages to jump over me, using his long legs to his advantage he gets to the stage in seconds grabbing the front of Dean's hoodie. I catch up quickly, glad we were close to the stage, I kneel in front of Dean his head lulling back. The loud noise of the crowd cheering becomes nothing but background noise, as I check his pulse my fingers against the side of his neck the steady but fast beating of his heart thumping below my touch.

With a sudden gasp his eyes shoot open, eyes wide and mouth agape.

I tap my foot impatiently on the clean floors of the hospital, thankful that right after testing I was allowed to be in the room. Dean looked better, he moved normally and his color was back, but we all agreed we should check officially. Now we were waiting and although the room sparked with anxiety, the dark looming cloud had cleared up a lot, and once we knew for sure it would most likely be gone. I just wished the doctor would come quicker. “So, you really feel okay?” Sam asks for the hundredth time since Dean woke from being healed yesterday. Dean stares at him blankly, “I feel fine, Sam” he grumbles.

Finally, the Doctor walks in, reading from the charts on his clipboard, “Well, according to all your tests there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was. Not that a man your age should be having heart trouble, but, still strange things happen.” The cloud fades away, and I don’t hold back my beaming smile. “What do you mean, strange?” Dean asks, his face serious rather than elated. “Well, just yesterday, a young guy like you, twenty-seven, athletic. Out of nowhere, heart attack,” the doctor shares. Dean nods, giving the man a handshake, “Thanks, Doc.” The man leaves, closing the door behind him. “That’s odd,” Dean points out, referring to what the doctor said.

“Maybe it's a coincidence,” Sam shrugs, “People's hearts give out all the time, man.” I looked at him taken aback, what was he talking about, “Dude, what world are you living in?” He gives me a pointed look, annoyed with not only my response but also my not agreeing with him, “Do we really have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we just be thankful that the guy saved your life, Dean, and move on?”

“Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why” Dean bites back. I sigh, wishing we could just avoid this all, “Me neither.” Dean gives me a strange look, “You neither?”

“Yeah,” I nod, “I just, I don’t know, when we sat down I recognized something which automatically made me suspicious. Then you know the whole thing was happening and, well, maybe it was just nerves but it got really cold and I felt sort of sick. Which really doesn't make sense, but I just had this weird feeling, I don’t know.”

“I felt cold too,” Dean answers, face scrunched, “When I was healed, I just...I felt wrong, ‘cold. And for a second...I saw someone. This, uh, this old man. And I'm telling you, it was a spirit.” Maybe it wasn’t nerves and I wasn’t crazy. Sam huffs, clearly trying to ignore the red flags here, “But if there was something there, Dean, I think I would've seen it, too. I mean, I've been seeing an awful lot of things lately.”

“Alright, but he literally saw something and I felt something.” I reason, “You can’t deny two people saying something’s up, and whatever it was there’s probably a reason why you couldn’t see it.”

“You’re just gonna need a little faith on this one, Sam” Dean muses, using his own words against him. Sam sighs, finally giving in, “Yeah, alright. So, what do you wanna do?”

Dean steps into the leader role again, as if nothing had happened, “I want you to go check out the heart attack guy. Y/N, we’re gonna visit the reverend.”

I sit next to Dean on the nice leather couch, Roy sitting across from us. He and his wife had been very understanding and didn’t question our want to speak to him about yesterday, I figure he got this a lot. “I feel great,” Dean answers the reverend, “Just trying to, you know, make sense of what happened.”

“A miracle is what happened,” Sue Ann, Roy’s wife and the woman from before answered, “Well, miracles come so often around Roy.” I gave her a half-hearted smile and nod, maybe it was just me but that response came off a little weird. I was getting a bad vibe from her, “So, um, when did these miracles start?” I ask Roy. Any desire to possibly learn from him had been subdued, caution taking its place. “Woke up one morning, stone blind. Doctors figured out I had cancer. Told me I had maybe a month. So, uh, we prayed for a miracle. I was weak, but I told Sue Ann, 'You just keep right on praying.'” He smiled sweetly at his wife before continuing, “I went into a coma. Doctors said I wouldn't wake up, but I did. And the cancer was gone.” He takes off his black sunglasses, his eyes pure white, “If it wasn't for these eyes, no one would believe I'd ever had it.” He puts the glasses back on, it was a touching story and his eyes added a horrifying touch but it just left more questions.

He seemed genuine, and I don’t think he would lie about being in a coma. When you’re sick like that, and experience something like that, you don’t create lies about your experience, not when it was traumatic like that. And staying on that belief, there was no way he suddenly just stopped having cancer and was able to heal people. He couldn’t have been responsible for whatever caused his initial health change. Which would then mean someone else was involved. “So then, you could just…heal people?” I ask.

“I discovered it afterward, yes,” he nods, "God's blessed me in many ways.” It didn’t add up. I couldn’t get it to add up in my head. Besides the whole no more sickness ideal, how could he just suddenly heal someone? I mean, how do you even discover you can? Was it an accident? Did the hypothetical person who might have caused him to get better tell him too? Or, tell him to try? Whereas for me I knew it was something I was capable of in general as a witch, but I also had many spell books, history books, journals, and everything to learn from. And if my mother had lived longer she would have been able to teach me it too.

“And his flock just swelled overnight,” Sue Ann added, her eyes full of endearment, “And this is just the beginning.” I study her for a moment, balancing on the thin line of suspicion and paranoia. There was nothing inherently wrong about her or what she said, and maybe it was my mind making up the fact that her last words were just a little aggressive.

“Can I ask you one last question?” Dean asks, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts. “Of course you can,” Roy responded sincerely. He really does seem like a nice guy, genuine, and it could be my inherent lack of sleep that’s making me connect dots that might not even be there. “Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me?” My heart broke. Of course he didn’t feel adequate, especially when he tried convincing us for the last four days he wasn't worth saving, that we should give up and let him die. I place a careful hand on his knee, I don’t want to scare him away or clam up again, he never was very open. “Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me,” Roy answers, “I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest.”

Dean wets his lips, my eyes flickering up to the movement, he leans forward slightly, “What did you see in my heart?” I move my gaze away catching on Sue Ann’s innocent movement of picking up her glass of water, but as she leans over her necklace escapes from its place beneath her shirt. A small wooden Celtic Cross held by a thin silver chain, she catches my eyes, covering the cross with her hand and giving me an innocent smile. She assumes I would think it's just any ol’ cross, she does run religious ceremonies so such a simple totem shouldn’t mean anything else. Maybe there were dots to connect after all, and it was on full display ready to be fastened. I focused my attention back on the conversation, I left my bag in the car so I’d have to wait, and in the meanwhile, I did not wish for her to get suspicious of me either.

Roy smiles softly, “A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn't finished.” I feel Dean tense beneath my hand, his face full of shock. Whether Roy did see something or not, it might have been the thing Dean needed to hear regardless.

I wanted to run back to the car and look through my spell book and journal, but Sue Ann was seeing us out and if I had easily become suspicious of her then it was possible she would grow suspicious of what I knew too. I could almost feel her gaze burning into the back of my head, but I tried to ignore it, focusing instead on Dean's warm hand on the small of my back leading me down the short wooden stairs of their porch. But I had not expected to see Layla and the woman she was with before, I think her mother. “Dean, Y/N, hey,” she greets. “Hey,” Dean responds just as we reach ground level, his hand pressing further into my back before curling around my waist, his hand lying on my side before he pushes me closer against him. I don’t know why he was being so touchy, not that I was exactly complaining. I welcomed it and the warmth it brought.

“How ‘you feeling?” She asks him, tilting her head slightly, her face beaming in sincerity. “I feel good. Cured, I guess. What are you doing here?” he responds.

“You know, my mom, she wanted to talk to the reverend.” Layla nods toward the door prompting Sue Ann to step fully onto the porch rather than standing halfway between the screen door. “Layla?” she asks, probably not having seen her from where she stood. “Yes, I'm here again,” Layla answers softly.

“Well, I'm sorry, but Roy is resting. He won't be seeing anyone else right now.” Sue Ann informed, nodding sympathetically. Every word she said just made me want to turn around and head to the car, I was itching for it. I wondered if Dean could feel it from where he was touching me or just sensed it, giving me a questioning look with a raised eyebrow. But I couldn’t exactly say anything right now so I ignored his look.

“Sue Ann, please,” Layla’s mom pleads, “This is our sixth time, he's got to see us.”

“Roy is well aware of Layla's situation,” Sue Ann declares harshly, “And he very much wants to help just as soon as the Lord allows. Have faith, Mrs. Rourke.” And with that, she goes back inside. I might not know exactly what’s going on but her continuous frustrated comments regarding the healing and her perhaps overly religious nature were enough to make me antsy. We should really go to the car, call Sam to see what he found, or even just head to the hotel. Layla’s mom turns sharply to Dean, glaring at him she spits, “Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted.”

“Mom. Stop” Layla insists, looking at us nervously.

“No, Layla, this is too much” her mom fumed, “We've been to every single service. If Roy would stop choosing these strangers over you. Strangers who don't even believe. I just can't pray any harder.” I do feel bad for her, but it's not like we had control over any of this so she shouldn't be mad at us let alone Dean who was quite literally on his deathbed and might not have made it to the end of the week. I open my mouth to say exactly that, but Dean cuts me off before I get a chance, “Layla, what’s wrong?” he asks.

She looks everywhere but him, “I have this thing…”

“It's a brain tumor,” her mother cuts in bluntly, “It's inoperable. In six months, the doctors say…” Layla cuts her mom off putting a hand on her shoulder. Maybe it was good Dean didn’t let me say what I wanted to, it would’ve been too cruel to do that to someone who was going to lose her daughter. It seemed like we were surrounded by death, more now than ever and I hadn’t thought that could be possible. I didn’t like death, or sickness though I suppose who does. “I'm sorry” Dean says, and I just nod in agreement not trusting my own voice. “It's okay” Layla responds softly. Her mother shakes her head slowly, “No. It isn't,” her sharp gaze is back on Dean, “Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?” Then she storms away, Layla hesitantly following. I know that woman was just upset and projecting her anger but it was not fair. Grief isn’t fair.

I look at Dean, his jaw clenched tightly, a slight furrow of his brow, his eyes a little far away in thought. I recognized that look. “Don’t listen to her” I declare, slipping from his hold to look at him straight on, “Death is not kind and it is not just, but you deserve to live. You deserve to live just as much as Layla or anyone else does. I know that look and I know you're thinking poorly of yourself, which I hate that you do so ‘cause you’re amazing and brave and kind and you care so much for others regardless of your gruff attitude.” His eyes are wide and written with shock but I continue, “So don’t think for one second that you don’t deserve to live.” I didn’t realize my chest was heaving, or that a lump had formed in my throat. I’ve watched too many people die, I’ve been down the rabbit hole of grief. I knew it well, it became a second skin. And I've watched someone run themselves into the ground because they didn’t feel like they deserved to live, or at least not when the love of their life was dead. I watched the evolution of that grief while dealing with my own and my brother’s. Death was not kind.

His jaw was slack with surprise and I know I said too much, I gave him a sharp awkward nod before turning around and heading for the car. I have something to look into.

Dean throws his keys on the bed the second we enter, the soft jingle of the metal ringing through the quiet room. I unzipped my sweatshirt, making my way towards Sam who sat at the small table to the side of the room. I take a seat next to him, putting my sweater behind me, “So what’d you find?” He seems hesitant to answer, his adam's apple bobbing, “Um, I’m sorry Dean” he says weakly looking up at his brother.

Dean takes his jacket off putting it on top of mine, his face written in confusion, “Sorry about what?” he asks, leaning on the back of my chair, his knuckles just barely brushing my back. Sam huffs out a breath, “Marshall Hall died at 4:17.” My eyes widened, I shouldn’t be surprised it was just another dot to be connected to whatever was going on with the damn cross. “The exact time I was healed” Dean adds solemnly, voicing what we were all thinking.

“Yeah. So, I put together a list of everyone Roy's healed, six people over the past year, and I cross-checked them with the local obits,” Sam explains, “Every time someone was healed, someone else died. And each time, the victim died of the same symptom LeGrange was healing at the time.”

“Oh frick” I mumble, apparently nothing is allowed to be easy for us. And I wasn’t exactly expecting that to be what we’re dealing with. “Someone's healed of cancer, someone else dies of cancer?” Dean asks for confirmation, even though it’s clear that’s what’s going on. “Somehow. LeGrange…” Sam sighs, “he's trading a life for another.”

Dean stands up straight backing away from the table, from Sam, “Wait, wait, wait. So, Marshall Hall died to save me?” Sam shakes his head, “Dean, the guy probably would've died anyway. And someone else would've been healed.”

“You never should've brought me here.” Dean declares, running a hand down his face.

“Dean, I was just trying to save your life.” Sam reasons.

“But, Sam, some guy is dead now because of me.”

“I didn't know,” Sam answers quietly.

I stand up abruptly, “Hey, there’s nothing we can do about that now. What’s done is done.” This all got very complicated very quickly, maybe Adeline was right you can’t save someone from death without making difficult decisions and sacrifices. “But what we can do is stop this from happening again, before it gets worse” I add and I know I don’t sound so convincing. You don’t get to choose who lives and who dies, and we had crossed that line whether intentionally or not, just wanting to save Dean from death was already putting a foot past that line. “That’s the thing I don't understand, how is Roy doing it? How's he trading a life for a life?” Sam questions. “Oh, he’s not doing it,” Dean answers, “Something else is doing it for him.”

“Do you mean the thing with Sue Ann?” I ask with a tilt of my head, maybe he had picked up on it too. “What?” his face contorts in confusion, “No? What are you talking about?”

“Oh” I say, now I'm confused, “Wait. What are you talking about?”

“What are both of you talking about?!” Sam exclaims looking between us. Dean sighs, pinching the space between his brows, “The old man I saw on stage” he explains, “I didn’t want to believe it, but deep down I knew.” He pauses and I begin to wonder if it’s for dramatic affect. I motion my hand for him to continue and he does, “There’s only one thing that can give and take life like that. We’re dealing with a Reaper.”

“Pardon?” I say, my mouth agape. “Yeah,” Sam agrees, face just as shocked as I am, “You really think it's THE Grim Reaper? Like, angel of death, collect your soul, the whole deal?”

“No no no, not THE reaper, A reaper.” Dean clarifies, taking the seat I once occupied, “There's reaper law in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names, it's possible that there's more than one of them.” My mouth still hangs open, it can never be something normal with us, ever. “But you said you saw a dude in a suit,” Sam voiced.

“What, you think he shoulda been working the whole black robe thing?” Dean countered, “You said it yourself that the clock stopped right? Reapers stop time. And you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why I could see it and you guys couldn't.”

“Oh my god,” I say, the realization finally hitting me, “That’s where it comes in!” Both boys stare at me confused, “Where what comes in?” Sam asks.

“Okay, remember I said I recognized something and thought it was a little strange,” I paused waiting for them to nod before continuing, “It was a Celtic Cross, which was all I could focus on the entire time ‘cause like what is it doing there. And then I started thinking of what it symbolizes, here’s the interesting part” I point out, “So basically, the Celtic cross represents life and death, creating dynamic tension. The cross and circle represent opposing forces; life and death, yet they harmonize with the cross, emphasizing unity and balance, they coexist. Which now makes total sense with the whole Reaper thing.”

“Sorry sweetheart, I’m not following here” Dean admits. I huff a laugh, “Right. Let me get to the point. So, as far as I know someone has to control the Reaper to, you know, dictate who lives and dies and to do that you need a spell. And I’ve seen it before…” I head over to my bag that I had just plopped down right next to the door when we walked in, I pull out my spell book holding it up, “This book has been in my family for generations. Now as you know my mother and her family didn’t see eye to eye, so when it eventually became my mothers and she ran away she changed a lot of stuff in here, crossing things out etc.” I open the book, flicking through the pages, “Basically there’s some pretty dark stuff in here, straight up black magic, some stuff even ancient,” finally I find the page, “Aha!” I turn the book around pointing at the page, “As you can see by the frowny face in the corner my mother did not appreciate this spell. Anyways, this is a binding spell for a Reaper where you create a black alter with bones and human blood etc, you get the point. You can then control it with a Celtic Cross, and before I saw Sue Ann with the necklace.”

“So you think Sue Ann is using dark magic to control a Reaper and kill people to save people because you saw a necklace?” Sam asks. I close the book, “Yeah, and it makes sense she was desperate when her husband was sick. I don’t know how I didn’t think of this sooner.” I knew this page existed, I've seen it in passing multiple times, especially some time since Dean was in the hospital. I guess I did listen to Adeline’s warning because even though I was ready to go far to save him I had kept away from pages like this. “Yeah but Roy's alive, so why is she still using the spell?” Dean points out. I shrug, “Money? She’s psycho? I don’t know, maybe there’s a connection with the victims.”

“How would we break it?” Sam voices.

“We gotta get that cross from her, the one around her neck” I answer, “And let me just add, that Reaper is gonna be pissed, I mean the second it gains back its control…” I don’t need to say it out loud for them to get what I mean.

The Impala bounces down the badly graveled and potholed road, passing a sign that says Service Today. Hopefully we will be just in time. Dean brings the car to a stop and wordlessly we exit, “How do we get Sue Ann alone?” Sam asks. I nervously tap the side of my legs as we approach the tent, some guy handing out leaflets stops us, “Roy LeGrange is a fraud. He's no healer.” Dean accepts the paper, “Amen brother” he nods. “You keep up the good work” Sam points at the man and he looks taken aback, he probably didn’t get many if any people that agreed. “Thank you,” he says, surprised.

Focusing back on the task at hand I open my mouth about to say something about not knowing where she goes when she does the spell when I spot her near the side of the tent, “I see her” I say already moving in that direction, “Find her spell book and keep Roy distracted too in case this does not work.” I don’t wait to hear a response before I’m running off to catch up with the woman playing God, “Sue Ann!” I call as I approach. She turns, her eyes wide, the necklace peeking out from her blouse, “Hi Y/N, what are you doing back here?” she asks sweetly.

“Oh well you guys are doing such amazing stuff here, wanted to say thank you one last time before we had to head off” I answered hoping my lie was believable. “Don’t thank us, you just thank the Lord” She says pointing to the night sky. I nod, I had to keep her talking long enough to figure out how to get the necklace off, “I have to admit I always had a hard time believing in the man upstairs, but you and Roy really turned me around.”

“Oh I’m glad, it’s never too late to welcome Him into your heart,” she smiles, “Now if you’ll excuse me I must get going, the sermon is starting.” Uh oh, do I just rip it off of her? No, she’s already turning around, “One last thing!” I call out getting her attention again. This time when she turns around she looks annoyed, “Uh, um…”come on Y/N come up with a lie or something, “I saw your necklace earlier today, I think you caught me staring,” I laugh, “I was just…I was wondering where you got it from I’ve never seen something like that before.” She clasps her necklace, “It’s just an old thing, I don’t remember where I got it from.”

“Could I maybe take a closer look at it? Maybe I can find a replica, you know, for my new found belief.” I was practically begging her to just let this be easy, maybe I should ask Dean to give me a lesson on finessing cause this is not working. She clasps it tighter, “I’m sorry, maybe later I really have to help with the sermon now.”

“Right, right sorry” she begins to turn around again but I call out again, “I know you said to thank the Lord and I have and will, it’s just” that gets her attention, “I feel like you and Roy are also responsible and like I said I came to thank you again…I know it’s maybe unprofessional or what not, but, could I just give you a hug? You’ve really done so much for us.” God I was bad at this. Her face softens a fraction, hey maybe I wasn’t bad at this, “Of course.” She holds out her arms and I move closer to allow myself to be embraced, I wrap my arms near her neck hoping she couldn’t feel the tension in my body. “Thank you” I say softly, all the while sneaking my hand to the clasp of her necklace.

She pulls away abruptly, once more grasping her necklace, “What is wrong with you!” she exclaims. I back up, hands up in defense, “After everything we’ve done to help you, healing your boy” she glares at me with wide eyes, “I never expected this from you Y/N.” I stare at her blankly, do I jump her? “You get out of here, before I call over those officers. Looks like your boy is already in trouble too. Disappointing, both of you.”

I look over my shoulder, Dean’s being pushed away by two cops and there’s a large crowd surrounding the tent including Roy. Maybe they evacuated. I turn back to Sue Ann but she’s already pushing past me, heading to the crowd. Oh no. Layla walks up to him next and she seems to be upset with him. How much did I miss? I rush towards Dean, Layla walking away, “What did you do?” I whisper yell. “You said to distract Roy!” he argues.

“I didn’t mean to get in trouble with the police!”

“‘Don’t matter, did you get it?” Dean asks with a quirked eyebrow. “No,” I grumble, “She caught me in my attempt and started lecturing me, I was thinking of just jumping her before she pointed out your run in with the police.”

“You were gonna jump the woman?!” He exclaims.

“I didn’t know what to do!!” I hissed, “And it’s not like I did it!” I let out a frustrated sigh, crossing my arms across my chest, “We need a new plan, where’s Sammy?”

“‘Think he’s waiting by the car, ‘hope he’s got somethin’ Roy’s gonna do a private healing session with Layla tonight.”

“Great,” I mumble, “I really should have jumped her.”

I sit criss cross applesauce on the hard motel bed. For a hunt that I knew so much about I had royally blown it. She was right there. The necklace right there. “Please tell me you found something helpful in their home” I pleaded.

“I found the spell book, written by a priest who went dark side,” Sam answers, holding up the small book, “And she isn’t just killing random people. She’s forcing the Reaper to kill people she finds immoral, from some teacher who was openly gay to a woman who advocated for abortion rights.” The room fell quiet for a moment, there were more layers to this than we thought. “May God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work” Dean muses.

“No seriously that’s messed up,” I add, shaking my head. “Yeah,” Sam nods, “I think you should hold onto this book Y/N.” He hands it over and I hold it cautiously in my hand, “How nice.” I’ll probably spend the next couple of days reading it over before ultimately sending it home, I did not need a spell book on dark magic with me, didn't even need to own it but rather me than get in the wrong hands.

“We should head back soon” Dean says, “Layla could be there any minute”

The Impala rolls over the graveled road for the second and hopefully final time today, this time with total darkness cloaking us no lights on. We roll to a stop, “That's Layla's car. She's already here,” Sam points out.

Dean nods slowly, “Yeah.” He was upset, “Dean…” Sam began. But Dean ignores him, looking out the window instead, “You know if Roy woulda picked Layla instead of me she'd be here right now. And if she's not healed tonight she's gonna die in a coupla’ months.” I should’ve known my dramatic speech from before wouldn’t magically resolve him of his guilt, no one has that power. “What's happening to her is horrible,” Sam reasons, “But what are you gonna do? Let somebody else die to save her? You said it yourself Dean, you can't play God.”

Dean goes quiet for a beat before getting out of the car, Sam and I following. We approach the tent, peeking inside to see Roy speaking to a small group of people including Layla and her mom, “Gather round, please everyone, gather round. Come in closer, come on up.”

“Where's Sue Ann?” Dean whispers. I tried to crane my neck to look around the tent, maybe she was off to the side somewhere… “House,” Sam answers simply.

We creep up to the small house, weary of making too much noise we couldn’t afford to get caught, “You guys go find Sue Ann, I'll catch up,” Dean orders. I look at him confused, “Wait, what are you gonna—“ But Dean’s already backing away from us yelling, “Hey!” to two figures in the distance. “You gonna put that fear of God in me?” he yells out, of course he would be taunting the police. The officers drop what looks to be coffee cups before running after him, Dean taking off at full speed. Only he would do something so stupid. “Uh, anyways” I begin, “If she’s doing it at her house she’s probably by the altar, and considering the size and necessities of the thing and the fact her husband doesn't know it would have to be in an attic or basement.”

“I’ll offer you one better” Sam nods off to the side of the building, “a cellar.” He was right, that would be better. And on top of that definite light emerges from the metal doors. Sam leads the way opening up the heavy doors and propping it open as he makes his way down first. I follow suit immediately being hit with the sight that is the altar, a small table adorned with candle operas filled by tall burning candles, parts of dead animals, bones and blood sprawled out meticulously across the red table cloth. And right in the middle was a black and white surveillance photo of Dean before he was healed, the photo smeared in blood.

“I gave him life and I can take it back too” A familiar voice suddenly says. Sue Ann. I turn around hastily being met with cold eyes, behind me I hear a large crash and I don’t have to look to know Sam had flipped over the table. Her eyes flip to the scene and I use the initial shock to rush her, but she was already close to the stairs so it did not take her long to sweep up them slamming the cellar doors behind her. Something clicks and shifts, she must have locked us in here. Sam joins me at my side, pushing and fighting against the barred doors. “Can't you see? The Lord chose me to reward the just and punish the wicked,” she reasons, “And Dean is wicked and he deserves to die just as Layla deserves to live. It is God's will.”

Oh, so that twisted psycho thinks that’s how it is. Well she messed with the wrong witch. “You're gonna wanna back up” I tell Sam. I press my palms to the cold metal of the doors, I’m pissed now. No one gets to use magic, let alone dark magic, on either of my boys. The doors begin to rattle harshly, almost as if there’s an earthquake, “Goodbye Sam, Y/N” she says. I put more force on the door, my entire being focused on it until it burst open bits of chipped paint and screws flying away, a satisfying break of the wood she used to block us ringing in my ears as broken bits of the wood come crashing back down.

Sue Ann stands but a couple feet away, her eyes wide as she watches me exit the cellar with shock and fear. She backs up further and I follow after her like a predator trapping its prey. “I-I read about things like you” she says weakly, her voice shaking. She keeps backing up, “You’re a—You’re a—“ her back hits the wall of a nearby trailer house. “Witch” I finished for her, yanking off that necklace once and for all.

I throw it off to the side, far away, and back up from her. My job was done and the Reaper would come knocking for its own revenge. “My God, what have you done?,” she heaves, pressing a hand to where her necklace used to be. “He’s not your God” Sam says cooly. Her head snaps to something in the distance, her face falls growing pale she must be seeing the Reaper. Then all at once she takes off running, not making it very far before she falls to her knees, her body convulsing once, twice, before falling to the ground. “I think we have just aided in her murder” I muse.

“Yeah…” Sam nods, “We should probably…” This time I nod, not saying anything as we walk away from the crime heading back in the direction of the Impala. We intercept Dean on the way, meeting at the car. I give him a small thumbs up to say we did it this time and he nods solemnly. “You okay?” Sam asks him.

“Hell of a week” he answers.

I glanced up from my phone for the fifth time in the last minute. I was trying to text Adeline to update her on everything but kept getting distracted by Dean's blank face as he stared off at nothing while sitting in bed. I made eye contact with Sam, giving him a sad smile, we were thinking the same thing. He turns to his brother, watching him for a moment before speaking, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Dean replies gruffly. Sam looks back at me again and I give him an encouraging nod, “What is it?” he asks again this time more gently.

“We did the right thing here didn't we?” Dean asks, finally breaking. It was difficult to answer him, on one hand we stopped someone from playing God and killing people who they found immoral in which none of the victims were bad people, it wasn’t like they were criminals but to her they were still wicked (god forbid someone has a different opinion than you). But on the other hand it was saving people, except to pay one life for another wasn’t exactly gracious work. Yet, we were doing the same thing, trying to play God and cheat death. I had even admitted to being willing to make great scarface’s to do so, in that aspect I wasn’t so different from Sue Ann in the very beginning.

“Of course we did,” Sam answers, and he really does sound sure. Dean sighs, hanging his head, “It doesn't feel like it.” Suddenly there’s a knock at the door and the parallel from only earlier in the week is not lost on me, “I got it” Sam volunteers getting up from his seat to open the door, “Hey Layla. Come on in.”

Huh.

“Hey” she waves awkwardly. Dean quickly rises from his place on the bed, “How did you know we were here?”

“Sam...called. He said you...wanted to say goodbye?”

Dean glances at Sam and I join in on the glaring, he really needs to start telling me things sooner. But he just smiles sheepishly, “I'm gonna...grab a soda.”

I stand abruptly from my chair, Dean should have his time with Layla. Maybe he won’t feel as guilty, “I’m gonna join you” I declare, “A soda sounds great!” I follow Sam out the door, closing it behind me.

#supernatural #fanfiction #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean winchester x reader #john winchester #slow burn #dean winchester x witch reader #the hunter and the witch update #witch reader #the hunter and the witch #angst #light angst #celtic #supernaturalwiki #supernatural faith

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h2llish · 4 months

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【╰ヾ❝ FROM ME TO YOU ✧„

ROOK HUNT ─── where ink will say what they couldn't ☆ a little bit of angst, gender neutral, reader is gone but it's not specified whether they went home or died so interpret that how you wish, lowercase intended, talks about sad grim as well lol (sobs)

the old dorm felt almost empty, lifeless. the ghosts didn't bother to greet anyone who entered, their love for pranks and scaring seeming to have vanished overnight. no one has seen the dire beast that was attached to their hip in so long, some believing him to have joined his second half wherever they were now. and when asking the first years who made it a regular occurrence to visit the dorm before and after class since they've gone, the group would only look off and shrug, never giving a verbal answer.

but one student knew where the beast could be found; curled up in the middle of the bed they once slept in, hugging a glove that undoubtedly belonged to them. he knew that grim was like a depressed cat, one who curled up beside their most trusted person when they found themselves on their deathbed, but grim had no person to curl up to. he knew grim was the last to see them, the last they said goodbye too. he knew grim was heartbroken (and he was too).

it's why it was such a surprise when he found the dire beast waiting outside the dorm with the ghosts floating sadly beside him.

when grim seen him, the monster held out a letter that had his name written in the prefect's handwriting and said, "it was the last thing they gave me. i didn' wanna give it to ya 'cause it smelled like them."

and when he took it from grim, the monster turned away and entered the dorm again, tail dragging behind him and his ears pinned against his head.

and when he opened the letter, the sight of their handwriting was enough to make him sick. and the contents of the letter made him ache.

dear rook hunt,

okay, how do i say this? i like you i don't think i'll ever give this to you. i'm too much of a coward. i mean, i'm writing this instead of telling you face-to-face. but you'd probably like to get a confession letter like this from someone you liked is it me wouldn't you? so in a way, i'm not that much of a coward as i write this! i'm still a coward i just realized i say random shit ramble even when i'm writing. the more you know, right?

okay, no, this is not why i'm writing this. but i don't know how to make this seem worth reading. not that i'll ever give this to you i'll just write? and hope it makes sense.

rook, i think you're amazing. i mean, you're wonderful. i don't know how to explain it in a way that doesn't seem like i'm just saying this. but you are.

you're really odd, but i like that about you. i know that whenever i need you, you'll be there, and i hope you know it's the same for me. i want to be there for you. for everything. for the times you visit another fan meet for neige, or when we meet up after classes. and during the good days and the bad. i want to know everything about you, all of you.

every time you compliment me, i get so flustered and i want to say all that back to you and more, but i always chicken out. told you i'm a coward i want to tell you how amazing you look every time i see you. do you know you always looks even more amazing every day? it's like every time i see you i notice something i didn't before. like that one time you wore black eyeliner instead of brown. did you run out of brown? it looked so nice, you should try more colors, not just brown. and did you know your eyes sometimes have a little bit of different colors when you're in the sun? i like when it turns a little grey. but i'll always like looking at your eyes regardless

i remember that one-time grim tore your glove because he was giving you a hard time. you tried to hide your hands. nobody else noticed but i did. are you shy about the scars on your hands? i seen them. they're beautiful rook, they tell stories. maybe one day you'll show me and tell me all about how you got them. do you trust me?

you probably don't see me the same way. you're way too good of a guy. and that's also why you'll probably never see this. fuck that sounds sad i'm sorry

i like you no that's not right ignore that.

i'm in love with you i'm not quite there to say i'm completely in love with you but i definitely don't just like you.

i'm falling in love with you, rook hunt.

and i'm sorry.

sincerely, the prefect [name]

so maybe i added some of my own headcannons in that letter.

anyways FUCK YEAH I WROTE SOMETHING >:D

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

#╰ ও ❝ angst #twisted wonderland #twst #x gender neutral reader #x male reader #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland angst #twisted wonderland x gender neutral reader #twst x gender neutral reader #twst x male reader #twst angst #rook hunt #rook hunt x male reader #rook hunt x gender neutral reader

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the-guilty-writer · 1 year

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No one asked for this but it's too late now.

disabled/mentally ill/chronically ill child and which BAU parent would be the most accomodating.

(of course all of them would be supportive and do their best but some of them would be naturally more accomodating for certain things. Just trust me.)

Some of these are really specific and others are more general be kind please it was 2 am when I thought of this

Spencer- absolutely the best dad an autistic kid could ask for. He knows the signs before a meltdown and exactly what to do. If you're non verbal he learns sign language to help you, gets you stim toys based on what motor function you find the most soothing, and this man would be the biggest supporter of your special interests (really this needs no explaination. I could go on for hours about this)

JJ- a learning disability. Not only is she mama bear who will fight a teacher that critisized you but her whole job revolved around communicating well. She knows how to adjust and break things down and go slow. She would figure out the best way to accomodate you and follow through every time. You never have to worry about her losing her patience with you, she knows you need breaks, and she doesn't care what grade you get- she's just proud that you tried your hardest and got through it.

Penelope- Depression. Not only is this woman nearly impossible to be sad around, but Garcia understands sadness and grief and darkness. She doesn't like it, but she understands it and how awful it feels. She also understand that sometimes you just have to feel the feelings and not try to fix them right away. She's all sunshine and rainbows, but she knows you have to weather the storm first. She helps you get through it, slow and steady, but once it's time to get up and going she knows how to do that too.

Morgan- Any physical disabilty. This man would find the best house possible and then restore it and fit it with any ramp, handles, resizing, etc. you need. Would totally redo your dining room to be a first floor bedroom if you needed it and outfit it with an accessible shower. He finds a way to modify just about any sport you want to try so you can play. Can and will fight buisnesses over their lack of following of accessible laws.

Emily- Ambulatory wheenchair user/dynamic physical disability. She makes sure you have any mobility aids, modifications to the living space, and will fight people if they don't follow accessible laws. But she also makes you feel badass- she points out that canes and crutches make great weapons (talk shit get hit) and using your wheelchair is a power move she always encourages you to take if you need it. If you need bravery, she'd let you borrow hers. Would cut a death glare to anyone who questioned your validity.

Hotch- emotion and mood disorders. Hotch is so steady when it comes to his mood and emotions and he's great at not taking things personally. So it doesn't matter how high or low you are or if you blow up at him and say things you don't mean because he knows it's not always in your control. You can depend on him to be okay when you aren't and make descision when you don't trust that you're in the right state of mind. He's your rock- always stable and consistent and reliable, even when you can't be.

Rossi- disordered eating. HEAR ME OUT OKAY. A lot of people who restrict have one special dish/snack that has significant and GOOD meaning to it and a lot of times it plays a really big role in recovery and Rossi would make sure you have that whenever you want. If you have more selective tendencies he's sure to get the exact thing you like every time because no child of his is going to eat generic we all know the brand name is better. Rossi believes that a relationship with food should be one of love and he helps foster that in the most sensitive and kind way possible

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acourtofthought · 2 months

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How would you feel if ACOTAR 5 is gwynriel instead of elucien? In one of SJM interviews she stated that after finishing acotar5 she will be working on the 1st book of a different series. So that means acotar6 will come out 2027.

Disappointed. I think there gets to be a point where an author drags out a particular storyline too long (the Blood and Ash series come to mind) and the writing suffers as a result.

Vassa was taken in ACOMAF, we found out by who in ACOWAR and that she as well as the other girls at the lake have been cursed / kidnapped by Koschei. In ACOFAS we're told her freedom will come to an end and reminded of that in ACOSF.

Spring was destroyed in ACOWAR and in ACOFAS, we're told Tamlin is severely depressed but that they'll still need Spring as an ally. SF shows it's been awhile and Tamlin isn't getting better, that they know they need a strong ally in Springs army.

Elucien's bond snapped in ACOMAF, Elain was turned fae and in ACOWAR she lost her father, stabbed a man, was rejected by Graysen, fought with her sister in SF and was rejected by Az yet we've not once been given her inner thoughts of all she's experienced. We don't even see any of the main characters trying to talk to her about any of those things.

And Lucien, the list is too long to include on all his unresolved plots.

Having Nesta's story told first made sense to me because there was never going to be Elucien progress until Nesta began letting go of her protectiveness over Elain, to accept the idea of Lucien (and technically, Nessian's bond was hinted at before Elucien's bond snapped).

Her healing arc was important to Feyre and Elain's stories too (along with herself of course) however it wasn't very plot heavy. But there was no moving forward for anyone until Nesta's anger wasn't destroying everything in Nesta's path. The series, since book 2, has been as much about the sisters relationship to one another as plot and romance and closing that out before moving into a new era makes sense to me.

But Az having his story before Elain and Lucien doesn't seem to fit especially when a Gwynriel romance would probably need at least 6 - 9 months (meaning that almost another year would go by before we even start getting resolution to the above).

I'm not sure that I see anything in his story that is necessary to lead us into the Koschei storyline.

He wasn't in Feyre's "Let's help one sister before helping the other" speech, he wasn't part of Feyre's "I want them all to be happy" speech in ACOFAS.

To me the Illyrians aren't a bigger concern to their entire world than Vallahan setting their sights on the humans or Beron trying to ally with Koschei or how an entire court is now being neglected by its High Lord.

Dragging out Vassa, Koschei, Lucien's father reveal, the Elucien bond, the girls who were kidnapped, Spring, Elain healing from her trauma while she continues to remain in a court she doesn't truly belong just so Az can have his story which doesn't fit in to any of those things does not make any sense to me and honestly, I think it sends a weird message.

"I think Lucien will never be good enough for her"

"I'll defeat him with little effort"

"I know, I helped rescue Elain after all"

"There is a darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to"

"She has no interest in him anyway"

Az (no offense) is kind of a dick at times outside of the priestesses.

He makes Mor so uneasy with his behavior that she feels like she needs to lie about what she's doing so he doesn't brood.

He is jealous and bitter towards Lucien and speaks for Elain without ever acknowledging her bravery and strength.

He gives off Tamlin vibes at times and to me that means he needs to be on a time out for a bit. Where he has to really sit and think on why his behaviors were wrong, why he tried to keep Mor and Elain small so he could be the hero, why he had such issues with a guy who is a very decent person.

Giving him a HEA after he treated them like that while Mor still remains unlucky in love, Lucien is struggling, Elain has no found family, it feels like jumping over an important lesson for Az to learn so he can become worthy of Gwyn. Not just in who he is when around her but who he is on his own.

I think Az seeing them happy and actually being happy for them is an important arc for his character.

But, in the end that's just my perception of the situation.

I don't know how SJM thinks, what her plan is, and if Elucien is not next than there's not much I can do but wait!

#elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #acotar 5 #acotar 6

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shi-bxnii · 9 months

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i will get hate for this likely but TWST HC's/Character Writings that annoy me and/or i feel are OOC

(check below cut) (all dorms/staff) (note: these are my personal opinions, do what you want, these arent for "Hey dont do this >:(" , im literally just saying what i personally feel, GO CRAZY AAA GO STUPID)

❤️Heartslaybul🃏

👑 Riddle HC: He's uptight and doesn't know fun

My take: He can be uptight and arguebly doesn't have fun in the same way others do but its been shown a few times riddle is a bit feral in his own way

♣️ Trey HC: Sweet mama friend whos done no wrong and needs a break

My take: He is a sweet mama friend but he has been shown quite a few times to do some (harmless) underhanded things for his own gain (Starsending Event: Getting a new blender/juicer/whatever it was)

♦️Cater HC: Bubbly guy whos secretly depressed with an internet addiction and THATS IT

My take: though not inherently wrong a lot of ppl dumb down his character to be very vague and two dimensional, Cater is also very alturistic in some cases and has shown to have a variety of skills (maybe not Trey/Ruggie lvl but its still skills)

♥️Ace HC: Mean as hell even in pranks(? this isnt one thats blatantly stated but written on a lot)

My take: Ace CAN be an ass but a lot of the time he will backout or realize his fuck up and make up for it, hes not jus sum ass that ppl talk too, hes a bully in the most loving way possible (lookin at deuce about that one LOL)

♠️Deuce HC: Oblivious dumbass

My take: Now in the context of School or sayings/confusing wording THIS IS VERY TRUE, but ppl make Deuce an all around idiot ive noticed and it annoys me, Deuce is very streets smart both in literal and just like,, hes a dude that knows things, and it annoys me so bad when they jus make Deuce a dumbass

🦁Savanaclaw🌞

🦁Leona HC: Hes heavily self interested

My take: also another that isnt inherently wrong but also is taken way outta context, Leona can and will be self serving but hes also shown to be kind and considerate and willing to help (even if he tries to deflect by saying it wasn't on his mind/not that it was truly within his heart), hes just a more intense Tsundere than Jack

🍩Ruggie HC: Same as leona with heavy self interest

My take: now this is more true then leonas but theres been a few times where ruggies done things for no/little gain, especially when it involves some level of danger, he may still joke about it but hes always pulled through

🐺Jack HC: this is also not a stated HC but ppl seem to forget how territorial/aggressive Jack gets so in writings hes usually just sum laid back guy

My take: Dude has been shown countless times to be headstrong and be aggressive and territorial, maybe not in the Adeuce, Tweel way but he in his own right has been shown to be aggressive (even if playful or more tamed then the formentioned)

🌊Octavinelle🫧

🐙Azul HC: Dark skin (visual HC)

My take: I AGREE AND DISAGREE, ive seen ppl give some characters vitiligo but NEVER to azul, if anything it WOULD be Azul, not only that Vitiligo is an autoimmune disease with factors such as stress, and who stresses more than anyone? AZUL, i usually consider most Visual canon to be just that with very little HC's but if Azul is to be interpreted with dark skin, mf has vitiligo

😈Floyd HC: Older of the twins and a variety of romantic HC's/writings i cant all list

My take: Its been shown in either a viginette or an event (i think an event) that despite being born within the same timing, Jade was actually first before Floyd (Jade makes a joke about keeping him around so im guessing the mf murked all his other siblings eggs djebdjsb ???) // As for romantic HC's writings what annoys me most is that he will usually be interpreted as very loving + his mood swings, i know damn well if Floyd had a gf/bf hes sTILL abiding to himself, now there are some factors that wouldnt keep this true to a default but floyd is floyd

👿Jade HC: He's just as seen in game//no real depth

My take: Its shown during the camp vargas event that Jade is actually extremely excitable and even (according to those around him (i think Cater says it)) that he even shouts in excitement about the natural Oven he was gunna make to cook the fish, Jade is very mannerly and a bit hard to read and its been stated as true, but Jade is also just a fucking nerd as well when you peel back the layers he isnt just that same guy as before

🏜️Scarabia🎆

🎉Kalim HC: Both in HC's and writings a LOT of people drive on the fact of kalims "obliviousness"

My take: NOW THIS ONE MAKES ME THE MOST ANNOYED, Kalim may be happy go lucky and sunshine like, but that motherfucker is AWARE, now you may try and ref Jamil in B4 but- BUT- Jamil is his literal lifelong friend and even if he was blatantly backstabbing at some points Kalim gave him the benefit of doubt, because hes known him all of his life and ik you mfs LYIN if you said you wouldnt for a life long friend... // Also Kalim despite his delivery being happy/sunshine like, Kalim has been shown to have a more feral (similer to Ace) side and even a more snarky side, though rare and playful at most hes not just some 🌞 fr

🐍Jamil HC: Transfem

My take: NOW BEFORE YALL GET MAD, its not the inherit fact that ppl will HC this, do what you want have fun, but i hate that a lot of the reason ppl will HC this, is simply long hair more fem aligned appearance.,,, suddenly men can't have shit,,,, again if you want to i dont really care it just a random irk of mine at most

👑Pomefiore🧪

👑Vil HC: similar to Jamil's and self interest once again

My take: Similar to Jamil, a lot of ppl will HC Vil transf/m due to the fact that within the JP ver, Vil uses a pronoun/self identifier commonly used for/in feminine use, but also for masc use,,, this one is also jus a random irk and i truly do not mind at all but i hate when ppl base of very little things (ik i sound stupid these r jus my opinions LOL)...// Self interest again but Vil's literally in B5 shown to not only not tell anyone but do it on his own whim to post Epel's family product so they can buy out to the point Epel had to give back the crates of Juice his family got him, Vil did that himself, he may be cunt(y) but hes also very considerate

🏹Rook HC: N/A

My take: Surprisingly i see very little HC's of Rook and when i do they make sense to me (Ex: Dark skin and coily/wavy hair, mf was born n raised in Afterglow savanna so even if he has whiter genetics, mf DEFINITELY having darker skin, hes a hunter hes oUTSIDE)

🍏Epel: Transmasc (but for the wrong reasons)

My take: Now of all characters to HC as trans DOES make sense, but also at the same time Epel normally doesnt mind who he is, its only when its used negatively/to mock him or something that he knows ppl will think "less of him" for it,,, this one irks me way less but a lot of ppl will HC/Write epel way more sensitively about himself then he is whether with a trans HC or not, overall though this HC does make the most sense to me

🖥️Ignihyde🎮

💠Idia HC: N/A

My take: Same as Rook, i dont see a lot i dont disagree with or aren't too far from Canon, i will say my fav Idia HC is that hes a complete weeb and has a body pillow of some sort, man wants to be a non normie so bad but fell for the normie weeb traps (body pillow and prolly owns a figurine of the waifu) LOL

🌐Ortho HC: N/A

My take: i dont see a lot of Visual or normal HC's in general for ortho which makes me sad, give my son more swag,,,, i will say i did see a HC that orthos normal body (robo) his shoulders are white boards and people will write stuff on them and that ppl will normally decorate him with stickers :3

❇️Diasomnia⚜️

🐲Malleus: HOO boy theres a lot

My take: way too many to write on this post but i will say that for rom! HC's and writings... MF THIS BITCH GOT NO RIZZ NO SWAGGER, everyone writes or HC's him to be the most romantic mystery dragon prince... brotha this man dont know how to use a phone you think he knows what talkin to a romantic interest + being good at flirting is like?? nuh uh you know damn well that mf askin lillia in near tears what the hell to do

🦇Lillia: Also a lot :(

My take: Doing rom! HC's/Writings again.,,, i feel like in general Lillia would actually avoid personal romances, he wouldn't be like EW ICKY, but considering his past and current responsibilities (Looking after his two sons Mal and Silver and then their cousin Sebek), i think it would be much harder for him to actually be involved in romance

🐊Sebek HC: Also a LOT GAHHH

My take: Now for this one i feel like ppl make Sebek similar to deuce and make him an oblivious dunce, Sebek is smart as hell but he jus doesn't understand customs outside of Fae, hes from Briar valley where most people are fae, and also dont have internet, you cant blame him for being bad at lingo and oblivious to what we would normally know by like age 8../// Also funnily enough i feel like Sebek and Mal get rev for rom HC's (Mal being filled with Swagger while Lillia helps sebek),,, i feel like despite not knowing normal customs,, if Sebek ever pursued someone romantically he would actually not be bad at it, sure a bit lost here n there but i feel like hes got swagger

⚔️Silver HC: That he takes things passively

My take: Silver has been shown to act against others wishes even those with authority (Even more so in B7 but i wont spoil),, Silver often acts as a voice of reason to Sebek as well in those moments but due to Sebeks tunnel vision up until B7, mf wont hear it, and since Silver basically has known Sebek all his life, to see him not press on the matter more in certain aspects is normal, ppl with headstrong siblings know this especially, sometimes you jus gotta be like "okay fine"

🎭Staff👥

In general i feel like a lot of people forget THIS IS AN ENTIRE SCHOOL the game is set in, teachers can take on different classes,,, but theres more teachers than just Vargas, Crewel and Trein, YOU SEE THAT BIG ASS SCHOOL? Theres a least 20 more teachers runnin around that bitch other than the ghosts, but since its a game and not like a series, Obviously they cant jus throw a random teacher every scene

✨Crowley HC: N/A

My take: A lot of HC's are usually just addition to canon or within character so i have no complaints

🐱Trein HC: Also N/A

My take: a lot of HC's for trein r very in character so i honestly dont have any annoyances

🐩Crewel HC: STRICT

My take: as a teacher? yes duh, but as a person? Crewel is definitely cheetah print joint smokin leggings and hello kitty tattoo aunt and classical and fancy wine aunt fusion, soon as mf off the clock hes MESSY in the auntie way

🥇Vargas HC: N/A

My take: now this isnt a HC/Writing but the way EVERYONE CLOWNS VARGAS ATTIRE..... the costumes for crewel n vargas in camp vargas were not bad at all imo, they werent spos to look like runway models or the latest trend that was GOOD costume design for something that was only spos to be VAGUELY seen cuz its DARK

🔮Sam HC: N/A

My take: I rarely see HC's of Sam :(

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amour393 · 1 year

Text

see after scrolling through the beloved jay walker tag I'm now thinking of the bad!skybound ending where nadakhan wins and everything is terrible, in which

Instead of the whole "I wish this never happened" shtick, jay wishes for nya to be healed. he can't risk losing her

Naturally, though nya is healed, nadakhan twists it so it doesn't lift the delaara curse

Nadakhan takes over and fixes up djinnjago to be his palace and stuff, fixing the ninja as his centerpieces

I feel like he wouldn't kill jay though

At first, he wants to

Wants delaara to kill him

Wants him to watch as it's nya's hands, but not her eyes that finally end him

But then he decides against it

Jay has caused so much trouble for him, caused the destruction of his realm, the betrayal of his crew- death would be far too merciful, he decides

I think he would reinstate jay to his status when he was prisoner aboard the misfortune's keep, except I think nadakhan would make him serve delaara

At first jay isn't too extremely opposed, at least initially

At least he still gets to be around nya, he figures

Maybe he can save her, remind her of who she really is

he soon learns it's far worse being around her when its not her, when shes nothing but a shell, than it ever could be without her

Delaara is cruel- I mean, she likes nadakhan, she has to be, and she knows how to hurt jay

The third time he tries to save nya, to remind her of who she is, she plays along, and when he finds out it was all fake, losing that hope hurts worse than he ever thought it could

Jay only tried to escape once, and when he failed, nadkhan brought Ed and Edna before jay and turned them into statues

Guys that was not in the original plan this just gets more and more depressing

one day there was a rescue mission launched to save jay

It's a combination of the elemental masters, old friends and allies-

It fails miserably, and nadakhan turns them into statues before Jay's eyes

Jay likes to pride himself on optimism, but that's the day he lost the last of his hope

He stopped hoping people would save him- he couldn't take seeing anyone else he knew frozen before his eyes

Eventually he starts to think he deserves it all

It's his fault anyway, right? He made the first wishes. He kept the secrets. He couldn't save nya then and he certainly can't now

So eventually Jay's resigned. This is his life until nadakhan and delaara get bored of him and finally put him out of his misery

Ok ok so I have this headcanon/theory that delaara possessing nya is exactly that- a possession. It looks exactly like when bansha briefly possesses misako in grave danger- and I feel like it's the same thing

One day jay trips (because he's exhausted and overworked and broken) and he spills water all over delaara

It's not enough to fully break the curse, but it's enough that the green eyes flicker and when jay looks at delaara it's nya who looks back, her eyes warm and brown and scared, he's never seen her this terrified

She manages to unlock his chains and choke out a gasping "run, jay, please run, I cant- I can't- jay, help-"

Not to make this feel like a fic but GUYS I CAN FEEL IT I CAN FEEL THE-

She hissed, recoiling at the water, Jay already gasping his apology, daring to glance up at her-

But it's not Delaara. It's not. He knows those eyes, he does, FSM, he thought he'd never see them again but-

"Jay," she shudders out, Nya shudders out, falling to her knees and wrestling Delaara's keys into the vengestone locks. "Jay, run, please, I-" she gasped, fingers curling in against the wooden floor. "I can't- she's too strong, Jay, I can't-"

Running is the last thing on his mind, as he rushes forward and he grasps her hands and tears burn his eyes and her lifts her head but she pushes him away because "I can't stop her, Jay, get away from me, you need to go, please run, RUN-"

He falls back and Nadakhan appears as Delaara wrestles back into control

Anyway anyway ANYWAY WHAT IM SAYING is that now he can't leave. He can't even try. Nya is in there somewhere and he can't leave her. He can't

The scarse times that Jay gets water are now only when he's far away from delaara

And this is all a prison for nya too because she's locked in her own head, watching as Jay- sweet, dorky, anxious wreck with a sharp tongue and a heart bigger than she's ever seen Jay- is forced to live in absolute misery, as he's hurt, as he's cut off from his power, as he watches his loved ones fade and fall one by one, as he looks up at her with so much hurt

They're sixteen. Sixteen

Anyway. I don't know how this ends its too sad to think about. Yeah

Give jay a hug

Sorry?

#ninjago #skybound #ninjago au #skybound au #jay walker #ninjago jay #jay ninjago #nya smith #jaya #ninjago nya #nya ninjago #ns6 #warning! sadness ahead #at least this made me sad #give jay a hug

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behindthewanderlust · 8 months

Text

Waterworks

Murdoc x gn!reader

Masterlist

Summary - Murdoc likes to think he’s a decent enough lover. Except for when you give him a problem he doesn't know how to solve.

Word Count - 904

Warnings - Hints of Murdoc’s alcoholism, Murdoc’s self doubt (he thinks he’s a bad partner), this isn’t beta read

A/N - Can take place in any phase! Also, constructive criticism is very much welcome! If I missed any warnings, please let me know

——————————————————————————

Murdoc likes to think he’s a decent enough lover.

Don’t get him wrong, he could do a better job and he knows you deserve someone better than him…but hey, you haven’t left him yet - that’s gotta mean something, right? He can make you laugh like no other and will buy you the flashiest shit on the planet if you asked. He knows how to do that well.

So it’s quite unfortunate that you’re now crying in his arms. He shifts uncomfortably, he doesn’t know what to do about this. He’s tense as you sob into his chest; his mind races, wondering what he should do or say. He gives you a few awkward pats on the back, something he remembers Noodle doing the last time he vomited after drinking too much. Drinking’s always been how he solved all his negative emotions. He almost suggests it, but stops himself, knowing he doesn’t want you to end up like him.

Murdoc thinks about getting Noodle, Russel, or the nitwit - someone, anyone who can comfort you better than he ever could. He thinks about a previous time you cried, Russel made you tea and offered you words of wisdom before watching a movie with you. Another time, 2D and Noodle brought you food to lift your spirits. Kind gestures don’t come easily to Murdoc, he mentally curses his bandmates for having sympathy. He tries to get up to grab someone, but you hold him so tight there’s no point in standing up. His shirt’s soaked, and you only seem to be crying harder. Murdoc’s powerless, a feeling he can’t stand. Negative thoughts gnaw at his insides with each sob you let out; he silently beats himself up for being such a useless boyfriend.

“Er - uh, do ya wanna talk about it?”

A sense of familiarity is felt when Murdoc finally spits a question out. He remembers Russel asking the same question after he first witnessed one of Murdoc’s drunken depressive episodes. You shake your head and whine out a quick no thank you. His memory’s a bit spotty, but Murdoc remembers his reaction being much more violent; a chair was possibly thrown in Russ’ direction.

He glances over at a clock that may or may not be set to the incorrect time. You’ve been crying for hours - at least, that’s what Murdoc thinks. Father Time would disagree and say you’ve been wailing for only seven minutes. He sighs, starting to feel a bit impatient. He’s got a raging headache from the stiff drinks he had last night. His plan was to keep this escapade from you, not wanting you to know he’s been drinking again, but he knows you’re not an idiot. You smelled the remnants of alcohol when you barged into his room, face wet with tears.

Murdoc then wonders if distraction would work. He’s already 0-2 when it comes to ideas, so why not go for a strikeout?

“Ha! I just remembered! I swiped Noodle’s last cig earlier,” he starts to boast, “and she gets all pissy ‘bout it, but guess who she’s blamin’? The half-brain 2D, who else? ‘Coulda told her I nabbed it, but why would I? Watching the two argue about a smoke was pure entertainment.”

Murdoc laughs again, before shifting you in his lap to sit more comfortably. “It wasn’t even a good smoke anyway.”

He begins to recall other events, like 2D’s voice cracking during a song, and Russel’s drumstick falling out of his hand. Murdoc, of course, claims to have played perfectly; not a single bum note coming from his bass.

“Ya should’ve been there, love,” he hums, his hand unconsciously rubbing your back much less awkwardly than the tense pats from earlier. You take a few sharp breaths. Murdoc notes how you’re slightly more calm than before. He took the moment to speak again.

“Now, why am I seeing waterworks? Spit it out, what’s got ya bawling like a baby?”

He doesn’t miss the amused huff you let out. You sniffle as you pull away from his embrace and wipe the tears. Your eyes are a bit dull, and your face is red and puffy. Murdoc still thinks you look nice. He stays quiet as you take a few more deep, shaky breaths to calm yourself. You speak, your voice cracking as you force the words out.

“I just had a rough day, that’s all. Thanks for holding me.”

Murdoc wipes a stray tear from your eye before looking down at his shirt. It’s cold and wet with your tears and snot. Your eyes follow his, and you cringe at the mess you left on his clothes. The room is silent, save for the murmur of the TV you didn’t even realize was on. You enjoy the moment; a calm that came after the storm instead of before. Your eyes dance across the room, not really paying attention to anything interesting before they land on your boyfriend, who is staring directly at you.

“Y’know, love,” he speaks, a grin forming on his face. “For a moment there, it felt like I was at Niagara Falls.” He laughs, the noise turning into a cackle as you groan and hit his shoulder. You roll your eyes before laughing too. The dullness of your eyes is now replaced with a slight sparkle. Murdoc couldn’t think of a prettier sight.

Maybe he wasn’t as bad of a boyfriend as he thought.

#gorillaz fanfiction #murdoc gorillaz #2d gorillaz #noodle gorillaz #russel gorillaz #murdoc niccals #gorillaz fanfic #murdoc x reader

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bingoboingobongo · 1 year

Text

task force 141 + new years

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Warnings: none

A/N: um the pre new years depression is hitting me hard so im gonna listen to the same music a hs boy would to make it better. see you guys next year :)

alright so good lord i don't think anyone in the task force can really accept that it's already new years oh god

like they're all really busy all the time and so the year has a tendency to just fly by

that being said the task force is more than ready to say goodbye to 2022 and say hello to 2023

of course soap is the first to propose a new year's party

complete with lots of champagne, new years resolutions, and of course lots of celebrating

and yes they will all be passed out and hungover come morning

anyways

simon "ghost" riley:

alright so even though he isn't a party person in the spirit of growth ghost decides to attend the entirety of soap's little party

and you know what it was a really good idea

his new year resolution this year was to try and open up a little more

obviously he's still gonna be ghost when it comes to work, but with the people he loves he's gonna try and lower his walls a little

anyways it turns out to be a pretty fun decision

leading up to midnight he's still pretty much his old ghost self

not really getting into the party too much, sorta just lurking in the corners, you get it

but after the ball drops and everyone else is getting even more and more drunk

ghost lets himself loose a little

definitely starts drinking and interacting more

and by the end of the night he's almost completely out of his shell

turns out with enough alcohol even ghost becomes just another regular guy

he's cracking really bad jokes, laughing at everyone else's really bad jokes, and generally just having a really good time

and yes if you guys are together he will give you a new years kiss

even if he has sneak away to do it

john "soap" mactavish:

alright so soap is really hyped for new years

he's pregaming way before he needs to pregame let's be honest

and when the festivities do start you know soap's gonna be the life of the party

he's definitely getting into way too many drinking games than he should lol

it doesn't take him very long to get stupid drunk

when midnight comes he's screaming the loudest during the countdown

he's had enough of this year and he is more than ready to send it off

and when the ball drops he is screaming as loud as possible

will definitely immediately give you a kiss too

this year soap's new years resolution is to make the most out of every day

it's kinda a cop out resolution he'll admit but that's the one he sets pretty much every year so it's practically tradition at this point

besides he thinks he does a pretty good job completing it

he's a lot more familiar than he would like with how easy it is to die

i mean he is in life or death scenarios like every other week

so it's just important for him that he goes out with no regrets

kyle "gaz" garrick:

alright so gaz gets pretty introspective during the new years

like before all the partying and the alcohol comes out he likes to take the time to step back and really analyze the year

he tries to make each year better than the last and so he always looks at last year's shortcomings to see where he needs to improve

this year his new year's resolution is to fall out of less helicopters

just kidding

his resolution is to try and spend more time with you and his family

this year gaz is all about showing the people he loves just how much he cares about them

after his many near death experiences, he's realized that the next day really isn't promised and it's important to let people know how much you love them

that being said when it gets to the party any introspective is gone for the night

gaz is ready to get drunk and have a good time

he's definitely doing karaoke after a few drinks

and when the ball drops get ready to experience the most mind blowing kiss ever

john price:

alright so like gaz price tends to get pretty introspective during the new years

part of it is just who he is and part of it comes from his military training

he's always trying to be better and improve

and so his new year's resolutions are chances for him to do that

this year his resolution is to increase his mentorship when it comes to the task force

he trusts that ghost can be a good successor if he dies, but he also wants to make sure gaz and soap are prepared as well

ik it's kinda a bummer way to start the year, preparing for your own death, but it's the military what can i say

that being said any pre new years angst is out the window when it's time to start the party

price may be prepared to die but he's also prepared to start the year off right

he's very very happy counting down the seconds with a drink in his hand and his arm wrapped around you

and you can feel him smile against you as he gives you your new years kiss

alejandro vargas:

alright so tbh idk where the origins of this superstition come from but ive heard of a lot of hispanic people doing it so ig it fits

but alejandro is definitely getting under the table and eating his grapes

him and rudy too because they've done it together every year since they met

honestly he's not too big on new years resolutions just because he feels like he always ends up being so busy with work he ends up forgetting

so he just lets his grape wishes do the work for him lol

some of the things he's wishing for is being alive (duh), wealth, love, etc.

i mean it's really all the classics

when it comes to the party alejandro is ready to get drunk and have a good time

definitely cheers pretty loudly once it strikes midnight

is also a big fireworks enthusiast

you'll have to sit under the table with him if you want a new years kiss tho sorry

he'll give you a quick peck, eat all his grapes, and then give you a better kiss once he's done

rodolfo "rudy" parra:

alright rudy's definitely the kind of guy to get sad during new years

and honestly me too rudy me too

idk man rudy just feels like the years go by way too fast

so this year his new year's resolution is to make more memories to make the year seem longer

like alejandro he also gets under the table and does the grape thing

it's something alejandro taught him when they first met and it's one of his favorite traditions

he gets very stressed about eating all the grapes tho

but usually if he rushes he can get them all in

he'll kiss you once he's done with his grapes that way he can focus all his attention on you

and the party is honestly a great way for him to start of his new year's resolution off right and fight off the new year depression

because it's pretty hard to be depressed when he's around a group of people as amazing as you and the task force

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ash5monster01 · 2 months

Text

Goes On Chapter Twelve

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x OC!FemReader

Warnings: 18+, depression, mentions of suicide, heavy topics, eventual smut, slow burn romance, fluff, gender themes/stereotypes.

Summary: Against his best efforts Charlie has to start at a new preparatory school after the tragic events that took place at Welton. The very events that led to the loss of his best friend and getting expelled in the first place. He has no plans to make friends let alone get close to anyone ever again. That is until he meets Evelyn and her interesting group of friends. No matter how hard he tries to push them away he finds it to be impossible. So he caves and in the end learns that life can still be enjoyable even if it feels like everyone is against you.

word count: 2.9k

Eleven ←→ Thirteen

Masterlist

Ridge Academy, NY

3/26/60

Dating in a private school could be difficult. Evelyn had listened to Violet complain about it for years but until now she hadn’t realized how true it was. It had been a month of dating Charlie and every day people still gave her a hard time and she felt like neither of them had any privacy. Even the dates at the cafe on campus didn’t feel real due to so many peering eyes. It was like animals in a zoo and Evelyn was tired of it. Especially since she still felt like she was getting to know Charlie. There was still so much there he hadn’t given her access too and she partly blamed it on this damn school.

So she had been grumpy. Which wasn’t usual for the girl but she was just annoyed. Sick and tired of waiting for the world to finally let her have and enjoy something for once. She finally found someone she enjoyed being with and liked, so why the hell couldn’t the universe provide her with a break? Allow her a chance to date her first boyfriend like every girl should. Not with the overlooking eyes but with an innocence that comes with experiencing all the things you hadn’t before.

“If you’re not careful your face’ll get stuck like that” Charlie muttered, leaning toward her on the couch and rubbing a thumb over the crease between her brows. Evelyn’s face instantly softened, heart yearning for the boy beside her.

“I’m sorry” she told him, legs shifting in his lap. The library had become a sort of safe haven for the two, cradling their budding love between the stacks of hundreds of books. At first Evelyn thought it was romantic but now she just felt annoyed that this was the only place she felt any privacy with the boy beside her.

“Don’t be, what’s on your mind?” the chestnut haired boy asks and Evelyn sighs, head leaning back against the couch.

“I just wish we could be alone” she tells him and Charlie chuckles, eyes glancing around the semi empty space around them.

“We are alone” he says and she groans, head shaking against the back of the cushions, brunette tresses falling in all directions.

“No I mean alone away from this school. I feel like everywhere we go there is someone we know. Relationships shouldn’t be so monitored” Evelyn counters and Charlie gives a understanding look because he knows exactly what she means. Even now there is a librarian twenty feet away and if he sneaks into her room at night it’s only bound to be interrupted by Violet or her be there the entire time. When he had wanted girls to attend Welton he had never considered the watchful eye factor, people like Nolan and Mr. McAllister watching your every move. He could see himself now sneaking his girl out to the old Indian Cave just to get some alone time, and then it hit him.

"What if we just left campus" he says and a shocked look paints Evelyn's face quickly.

"We can't, not without written permission from a parent and I don’t know about your parents but mine would definitely not sign off on me running around with a boy" she defends quickly and Charlie laughs, pulling her closer and hoping the librarian doesn't look up to bust them both.

"I didn't say anything about asking for permission" he grins, mischief sparkling in his eyes and the gears finally start turning in her head. It wouldn't be impossible. A few right moves and they both could be off and into the night, returning in the mask of the dark, and no one would know a thing.

"Okay, let's do it" she agrees quickly and he smiles wide, squeezing her as he presses a soft kiss to the side of her head.

"What do you say about 7:30, meet past the gate and behind the tree line?" and the nerves start to bubble in Evelyn's stomach but she smiles and agrees anyway.

"Perfect, but now I have to get ready!" and before Charlie could protest, Evelyn was up and out of her seat, scurrying in the direction of the dorms so she could get dressed for her first very real date. Sighing he leans back into the couch, a smile on his face from how much he adored her. Only once in a while did he feel despair about getting so close when he had promised himself not to. Those were only during the dark moments though, the moments where he couldn't stop his mind from thinking about how much he would miss her if she suddenly went away and then those thoughts would bring him right back to Neil. He wished he had appreciated him more when he was here. With this thoughts now swirling in his head he did the one thing that always made him feel better.

"Yeah, hi. I'm calling for Todd Anderson" Charlie said once the phone line picked up and whatever twelve year old blazer boy answered was off in search of his meek friend that could be the only one to calm him down during this time.

"Hello" Todd said after a few moments, voice coming out staticky from the phone and hundred miles inbetween them.

"Hey Todd, it's Charlie" he responded quickly, trying to keep his voice even as he tried to get the panic and sadness to go away.

"Hey Charlie, what’s going on? It's not Wednesday" Todd said, confusion laced in his voice and Charlie chuckled, a little sad because he could picture exactly what the boys face looked like right now. The overbearing weight of wanting to be back at Welton swallowing him whole. How torn the world must be if he still wished he was back at that dreaded school.

"I know, it's just- I have a date tonight" Charlie spoke softly and Todd grinned wide on the other end. The image of his overcondienct and cocky friend coming to mind. The one he knew, not knowing the new person he had become.

"Hey that's awesome Charlie, is it Evelyn?" Todd questioned, coming to know the girl from how the boy had talked about her. He knew it would only be a matter of time before he couldn’t stop himself from going after her. Todd was starting to get used to always being right.

"Yeah it’s her, it's just-.." and Charlie clamped his mouth shut, suddenly feeling silly for feeling this way. He was Charlie Dalton for Christ sake, he was confident, smart, and a womanizer. Why would he be calling quiet Todd Anderson about it?

"You can tell me Charlie" Todd spoke, finally sensing the discomfort coming from the boy he hadn't seen in person since before Christmas. Charlie took a moment, collecting himself before responding.

“What if I get to close and lose her too?” He whispered, voicing his worries out loud for the very first time. Todd was taken aback, shocked to hear the words that just left his mouth. Then it dawned on him that Neil was Charlie’s best friend, the one guy who had been by his side for the entirety of his days at Welton. Todd had only known Neil four months for him to become important to him, he couldn’t imagine a lifetime. Neil had already been gone more than half the amount of time Todd had known him but for Charlie it was different. For Charlie it was losing the one real person who loved you your entire life.

“Does she know?” Todd asked, curious if Charlie had disclosed the tragic event that had all changed them entirely for the rest of their lives. Yet Charlie’s silence was enough of an answer in itself.

“No one does, well except my room mate. I just didn’t want it to define me” Charlie finally told him, realizing the weight in his chest he has been carrying this whole time over not grieving properly. He had yet to be comforted for the loss of his friend and that had made it hard to get over. Hard to move on.

“You should tell her, it won’t change anything but until you do, can she ever really begin to understand you?” and Charlie remembered exactly why he had called Todd in the first place. He had become his new voice of reason since Neil died and he knew the exact right thing to say.

“I just don’t want her to see me differently” Charlie admitted and Todd wished he was there to give his friend a hug. He remembered not liking Charlie much at first. He thought his outgoing spirit was dangerous and that it put him in a position to be targeted amongst the group. Yet he failed to notice just how loyal the boy was and now he wished that during the time they did spend together he got to know him better.

“You are different Nuwanda. What matters is if you own it” Todd told him and Charlie chuckled lightly, fighting the tears that burned at the back of his eyes.

“I’ll tell her when I’m ready, I promise” he finally said and Todd accepted this answer not wanting to push him too far, so he decided to leave him with just this.

“Just remember you may never be ready” Todd says knowing his own grief had changed him entirely as a man. He was still living out his punishment with Nolan. It was funny how Nolan used to be annoyed with how outspoken he was but the moment he speaks up he gets silenced.

“Thanks Todd, I’ll talk to you later” Charlie smiled, feeling much better than before about this date.

“Good luck” Todd bid him goodbye and then the receiver clicked before indicating the dead line and Todd was gone, leaving Charlie no choice but to get ready and face his fears.

It’s not long until 7:30 hits, Charlie had been hiding in the tree line since 7. Wanting to lessen the chances of both of them getting caught and take the time to prepare himself for a real date. He may have always been cool with the women but he had truly never been on a proper date before. Especially with a girl like Evelyn, she deserved to be swept off her feet. He jumps when the sound of a branch snapping fills his ears but he quickly calms when he sees the foot is one with a kitten heel and not loafers that belonged to a teacher ready to bust him.

“That was thrilling” Evelyn whispers despite not needing to. They were far enough away now that no one would be able to hear him. Yet her words don’t register in Charlies head because as his eyes move up from her feet they find leg. Lots and lots of leg until right at her knees he is met with baby blue tulle, the skirt making her look like an angel on a cloud. It gets even better when he meets the sweetheart neckline, strained over her chest and looking so inviting. The silver chain necklace around her neck makes him shiver. Finally his eyes meet her own, just in time to spot the grin she wears from watching him check her out.

“I’m beginning to regret this idea of going out and not staying in now” Charlie says, shifting a little as he prepared to approach her. Evelyn just shook her head and reached for him anyways, not giving him much choice in the matter.

“I already convinced Violet to stay in Marty’s room until at least 3am, so we have time” she whispers before pulling him close and capturing his lips in her own. Charlie hums as she kisses him soft and sweet, agonizingly slow and leaving him wanting more. “Right now I just want my boyfriend to take me on a date”

“Then let’s do it” Charlie smiles at her, stealing one more kiss before lacing his fingers through her own and starting them on the walk.

It takes only a mile before they’re met with the sight of town, one Charlie had only been in a handful of times since coming here. Evelyn takes lead on picking the restaurant considering she had been in Ridge much longer than he ever had. It’s no surprise when she picks the small diner opposed to somewhere nicer. People gave the pair looks walking in all dressed up just for some burgers and shakes but neither of them minded when they finally found a booth. Floor sticky and table greasy, it was perfect for two kids just beginning to fall in love.

“I’ve never been on a real date before?” Evelyn admits, taking the red and white stripe straw between her lips and taking a sip of her chocolate shake. Charlie just smiled, his own strawberry shake in his hand.

“You’re telling me none of those guys in that co-ed school snuck you off campus to take you on proper date?” He teases, voice full of amusement as he looks at her.

“No Charles, they haven’t. Yet that’s the thing about co-ed schools. The boys don’t understand to appreciate it more” she says, thinking about all the boys she grew up with who never learned to be gentlemanly or even nervous in her presence.

“Idiots, I didn’t talk to a girl until I was thirteen” Charlie says with the shake of his head, smiling as the waitress sets down burgers and fries for them both. He grins at the way Evelyn has one fry shoved in her mouth before it even hits the table.

“How come you’re not nervous around girls then?” Evelyn inquires, grabbing some salt to put on her fries and on Charlie’s before setting it down.

“I figured there was never any reason to be. If I wanted to have a fighting chance I couldn’t just gape at a girl like a fish, I had to snag her before some other idiot did” and Evelyn’s laughing loudly at the explanation, other customers looking over and chuckling at the young kids on their night out.

“Well lucky for you no other idiots in that school liked me and I learned to accept that a long time ago” Charlie’s stiffens as the words leave her mouth, thinking of his friend who was probably in their shared dorm wondering where the hell he was. His friend who was the only one to know anything about him here. If only Nate had said something before he had fallen for the girl but now it was far too late.

“Idiots indeed” Charlie agrees before grabbing his burger and taking a large bite. Evelyn just smiles, mimicking his movements and doing the same. When some mustard gets smeared on Charlies cheek she’s quick to giggle and wipe it away.

As the night progresses the conversation continues to flow, laughter and smiles filling the space between them. It’s not long until plates are empty and stomachs are full. At some point Charlie even ends up on Evelyn’s side of the booth, arm wrapped around her as he recalls tales from his Welton days. Evelyn particularly likes the ones about Knox and all the things he did to gain the attention of Chris. Sadly it was getting close to curfew so Charlie threw some cash on the table and led the girl out the booth and back in the dreaded direction of the school, feeling guilty for still not telling her the truth about his past.

“That was much easier than expected” Evelyn says, swinging their interlocked hands between them. Charlie just laughs, eyes glancing down at her in the moonlight.

“It’s not over yet, now we have to sneak back in” Charlie informs her and she just rolls her eyes, leaning closer to him the closer they get to the school.

“I almost don’t want to go back in” she says when the gate comes into view and Charlie glances at his watch, noting there still was just forty minutes until curfew. Before Evelyn can say anything more he has her pressed up against one of the trees and he doesn’t miss the sharp breath she takes in.

“Then let’s not, at least for a little bit” he tells her and before she can agree he has his lips on hers, tipping her head back and against the tree. Evelyn settles into the kiss fairly quickly, hands coming to rest on his chest. Charlie finds his own comfort in the kiss, keeping a hand at her waist and the other on her face, making sure she kept access for him. He loved how she still tasted faintly of chocolate shake and how she relaxed into his arms. He hadn’t kissed many girls in his lifetime but none of them could ever compare.

“That was the best first date” Evelyn mutters when he finally gives her a chance to breath, lips trailing down her neck and to the top of her chest that he could barely keep his eyes off of all night. When his fingers tangle into her necklace he finally begins to pull away.

“Agreed, what do you say we do it again?” and Evelyn giggles as his lips meet her neck again. Smiling she reaches to tangle her fingers in his hair and memorize this moment to keep in her heart forever.

“Anytime Charlie”

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fairydust-stuff · 5 months

Text

SSSVS Shen Jiu,fanfiction thoughts

So, I've heard some discussion about how there are very few SJ fics where he repents, apologizes and how this angers people etc....

So my thoughts are, that's because atonement, being good was never the point of SSVS.

The system

SSVS isn't concerned with morality as much as how much you give into the system. SJ dies because he stopped fighting the role he was assigned he excepted being the scum villain. It's not just about how he abused a child. He did this due to a clear choice to stop trying to be good. After he failed to save his worst enemy. He accepted his role.

While it is a little annoying that SY gets to fight the system in Sj's place coming from an entirely different background without the trauma/ baggage that encourages those from lower classes to enforce the system.

He is none the less the one who starts to find ways around the system. He cheats and eventually gets rid of the system or at least not have to operate within its narrow confines. ( he's also not a good person but this thing is already too long).

LBH

A lot of fans forget this cause abused child, but um LBH has always been a hateful misanthrope who realized playing at being a white locus got you protection and sympathy.

Much like SJ he survived by lying. But while SJ pushed aside all weakness. LBH played it up for manipulation purposes. He was never a good person but LBH was always better at playing the system than SJ. (I argue LBH not being some white lotus still does not mean he should have been abused by SJ.) just pointing out that he's amoral.

Even SY looking at his flashbacks from his life with his mom called him a "blackened lotus" even then. a lot of fans like to blame the sword but even before he got his hands on it. LBH was always just a little bit off as a person. LBG is simply him with the gloves off and the claws and depression on display.

Furthermore even after getting SY love as LBM he never actually becomes a good person. He is ashamed because he raped SY but he never even tries to atone to Ning Ying or anyone else for murder, treachery, lying etc....

Because that was never LBH's arch, it was always about his place in the system, not his morality or how well he lived up to the role of ideal love interest. So many fans judge him through this lens but that's not the point.

LBH was born with more advantages,from the beginning due to being the protagonist. But this luxury came with a harmful role pushing LBH into a role where he was an ideal for other people. Despite the fact it made him miserable. Everyone including SY wanted a stallion protagonist a power fantasy. They could live though LBH just wants to be a house husband. He doesn't want to be emperor of the world.

LBH isn't a good person but he rejects the system and his role in it and seeks his own happiness.

Basically, why are SJ fanfic writers being asked to heap more judgment than other stans on our fav by our own of all people?

LBH gets to wish he could murder anyone who gets close to SY without invoking his wraith and be happy in his cottage-core life. Why isn't SJ allowed to do the same?

While I don't hate SJ atonement fics. Due to the nature of the novels, it's just not a requirement for me personally. Also sometimes, I just want to read about my favs without them being tortured and weepy for being bad people.

#shen qingqiu #shen jiu #sssvs #scum villian self saving system #scumbag self saving system #scum villain

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