#and the forced connection i had back when everyone was home was all i had

[reiderwriter]

More Than Words

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female BAU!Reader

Requested: yes

Summary: After telling a white lie to your family about your relationship status, your forced to beg your coworker Spencer to pretend to be your boyfriend for a weekend wedding.

Warnings: Light smut at the end, penetrative sex, creampie, mentions of Spencer's childhood.

A/N: Thank you for the request on this one! Ever since I rewatched Season 7 and saw Spencer dancing with everyone at JJ's wedding I've been thinking non-stop about him just holding you close like that and I'm going to shut up now because 8k words of that is more than enough lmao.

You can find my masterlist here, and I just started posting all my stuff on AO3 as well, so if you prefer to read there, check it out!

Despite knowing about your brother’s impending nuptials for the last 18 months, it was in the final two-week stretch that you actually started panicking about getting the date that you’d promised them. It was one sweet little white lie that you had made that had just spiraled out of control, but you’d yet to actually manifest the secretive boyfriend who was “very real actually, mom, he’s coming to the wedding actually.”

It was that statement that had sealed your fate, and always one to wear your emotions on your face when you weren’t on a case, it wasn’t long before someone noticed your building anxiety and guilt.

“Okay, spill Y/N. You look like you just witnessed your favorite author kick a puppy or a kitten or something,” Penelope said when you dropped some files off in her room that morning, spinning around on her chair to face you as soon as she caught your reflection in her monitor.

“It’s this wedding I have to go to,” you sighed dramatically, falling into one of the other chairs in the room kept for visitors.

“Want me to help you get out of it?” Penelope offered, patting your hand comfortingly.

“I’m not sure my brother would be too pleased about that, since it’s his wedding and all. My mother would drag me down all the way from here herself if she had to.”

“Okay, so a no-show is a no-go. Then what gives, my sweet avenging angel? There has to be something serious to get you looking all glum.”

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair before straightening up and leaning into Penelope more, creating an air of secrecy.

“Promise you won’t tell?”

“Oh sweetie, if only you knew the secrets these four walls held,” she replied dramatically, pulling a laugh from you.

“Last year, I was so, I don’t know, jealous I guess, of all the attention my brother and his fiancee were getting because of the wedding, and it just felt like every time my mom called me, she would only want to talk about them because of the wedding. I felt left out, and I already live so far away anyway, so it’s hard to have that connection with people back home, so I might have told a small, tiny, inconsequential lie that now actually has consequences?” Your face flushes at the confession, and you can see Penelope trying her best not to blurt out her thoughts, intent on letting you continue.

“I told her I was seeing this guy. He’s amazing, he works in the FBI just like me, and he’s smart, and he takes me on dates to these amazing places, like museums and interesting restaurants and to book fairs. I told her he was handsome and that he looked at me like I put the stars in the night sky, and he just doesn't exist, Penelope. And now I have to disappoint my mother again by turning up to my brother's wedding without a date.”

“Oh sweetheart,” was all she said for a minute, and the sympathetic look on her face made you want to run out of there immediately.

“I know, I know, I need to tell her the truth, but I don’t want to do it at the wedding and spoil her happiness. She loves weddings.”

“And this fake boyfriend is supposed to be your plus-one?” she asked.

“My invitation read ‘To our darling sister and her mystery man,’” you groaned, wondering how you could have been so childish in the first place. You’d acted like any child on a playground would, inventing lies to make yourself seem more important and cooler.

“I think I have the perfect solution for you, angel, but you might not like it,” Penelope grinned from her chair, leaning back and playing with the pen in her hands nefariously as if she’d been waiting for this chance her whole life. You didn’t trust that look, but you had no other option, so you took a deep breath and listened to her plan.

–X–

Three days later, and you were suddenly pacing the hallways with a coffee and a croissant, poised and ready to kidnap an FBI Agent the second he passed you.

At first, you’d laughed at the suggestion she’d made, outlandish as it was. But 72 hours of reflection, and a timely phone call from your mother, and suddenly you were on board and ready to lock on to your target. You stopped pacing when you heard the elevator ding, signaling the arrival of Spencer Reid. You were thankful that his schedule was so regular and timed down to the minute that you had just enough time to ambush him in the hallway before any other member of your team noticed.

“Spencer! Here I bought you coffee and a croissant from that cafe I mentioned a while back,” you panicked, unloading the gifts into his arms quickly, taking him off guard, before checking left and right before pushing him into the nearest empty room and shutting it behind you.

“Good morning to you, too, Y/N. Is there a reason we’re in a closet right now?” he asked, looking down at you with knitted eyebrows.

“Yes,” you gumped, afraid to say anymore.

“Are you going to tell me what the reason is?”

“I need you to be my boyfriend for a weekend,” you finally blurted out.

“You need me to… Just for a weekend?” He looked confused, and you felt your cheeks flame up, as you tried your best to explain the situation for him.

“My brother is getting married in LA this weekend, and I need a date. I told my mom last year that I was in a relationship with a really great guy who also works for the FBI.”

“Oh. So, you broke up with him and don’t want to tell your mom?”

“No, he never existed. Long story, I can explain on the plane, but I really need you to come with me! I’ll pay for everything, and I’ll even get you this coffee and any pastry of your choice every day for a month, please, please, please!” You begged him, so desperate that you were moments away from dropping to your knees and grabbing his leg, refusing to move until he acquiesced. You didn’t have to in the end.

“Oh, sure, I’ll go. When did you say it was?” Your jaw fell open in shock, and it took a few seconds to pull yourself back together as you reacted to his words.

“This weekend? The flight is tomorrow at 6 a.m.” You smiled sheepishly as his eyes bugged out of his head.

“This weekend? What were you going to do if I said no?” He laughed at you a little, taking a sip of the coffee you bought him.

“Honestly? Plan B was to cry, and plan C was to kill off my mystery man in a freak accident.”

“Wow, we just started fake dating and you’re already trying to bump me off.” His smile made you burn hotter than before, as you playfully hit his arm in response.

“Stop saying we’re dating. I pulled you in here to ask you privately because I didn’t want weird rumors circulating in the office,” you pouted.

“Then you better let me out of the closet, Y/N, before people think we’re doing something we shouldn’t be. At least three people saw you drag me in here, you know.”

With that, you rush to open the door and run out, shouting a reminder back at him.

“Just be ready, okay. I’ll see you at the airport at 6 a.m.”

–X–

The flight, despite being ridiculously long, was altogether quite pleasant, and you made it back to California in one piece, Spencer trailing behind you like a lost puppy for a while, letting you take up the role of “airport dad” as you guided him through the airport and to the hotel where the wedding was being held.

“So what’s our cover story?” He asked in the taxi on the way there, breaking the comfortable silence.

“What cover story?” you asked, looking up at him from your phone, still focused on just getting to the destination.

“Where did we meet, how long have we been dating, how much do they know about me?” He listed off the possible questions that his parents were absolutely going to interrogate him with soon. “I need to prepare so we don’t get caught out, right?”

“Oh, right. Based on what I told them, we met at work and we’ve been seeing each other casually for about a year now. I didn’t give them a name yet, which annoys my mom to no end, but I was always pretty private as a child so she didn’t find it all that suspicious. Other than that, they don’t know that much about my mystery boyfriend apart from the things we’ve done together.” He listened attentively as you spoke, taking each of your words in and committing them to memory.

“What was our first date?” He asked.

“Coffee shop. That place I got you the coffee from earlier, it’s called Flondon. I’m a regular there, so it made sense to use it in my story.”

“What else have we done together?”

“There was a book fair in New York a few months back that we, uh, spent the weekend at. You surprised me for my birthday with the tickets.”

“Wow, so I’m a really great boyfriend then.” He joked a little, and you let out another groan of annoyance at his teasing. You didn’t get the chance to finish your conversation though, as the taxi finally pulled up to the hotel.

You climbed out of the taxi after paying the driver, Spencer having already left to grab your bags, before walking into the foyer of the hotel.

“Y/N, just one last thing before we go in,” he stopped you at the door, grabbing you by the arm gently. “Are we… the, um. Hotels tend to get booked up pretty early for weddings, and I’m sure your family will be suspicious if we don’t share a room so…”

He didn’t have to finish voicing his thoughts before you were cursing, not having made the connection before.

“Shit, you’re right. My brother made the booking for me months ago. We just have to go in and get the room key but I totally forgot… It’s fine, right? We’ve roomed together on cases, haven’t we?” You asked, looking up at him.

“No, we haven’t. 67% of our motel bookings allow for single occupation rooms for Agents, I end up sharing a room with Morgan for 15% of overnight stays where double occupation is necessary, Hotch for another 17%, and the remaining 1% is made up of outliers where I had to share with Rossi or Prentiss, but we…we haven’t shared before.” He gestured between the two of you for a moment there, letting the facts sit with you.

“Spencer, it’s okay with me, is it okay with you? I understand if you’re not comfortable with it. We can just turn around now if you want.”

“No, no it’s totally fine. I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable with it. Morgan says I snore, so I guess I’m not the best roommate in the world.” He smiled at you then, reassuringly, and moved his hand down your arm until it reached your hand.

You looked down at where his hand had entwined with yours and your heart gave a little jolt. Spencer didn’t like physical touch, and you knew that. You tried not to initiate any contact with him, despite being a touchy person, but there had been times after particularly tough cases and with close calls where you’d thrown yourself into the nearest person's arms, and he always happened to be near.

But those hugs had been thoughtless, natural reactions to stressful situations and this was intentional, and more importantly, he’d started it.

“Sorry, I just assumed we should get used to, uh, touching each other, I guess? We’re going to be doing it all weekend, you know, might as well start now.” He gave you an awkward closed-lip smile, and you giggled at his awkward explanatory tone. Squeezing his hand a bit, you grabbed your suitcase again in your free hand, and pushed open the door with your shoulder, pulling Spencer in behind you.

The lobby was filled with people arriving for the wedding, and you instantly spotted three cousins and two aunts from across the room, giving them a little smile as you made your way to the reception desk, Spencer right at your side.

“Hi, reservation for Y/N L/N, please.”

“Sister of the groom, right? Your mother asked me to give her a call when you arrived. Please wait one minute.” She handed you your key, and you felt yourself go pale, turning around to Spencer for reassurance.

“Oh god, she’s coming now, what do we do?”

“Y/N, calm down, it’s okay, we knew we were going to have to see your mom tonight at the reception anyways.”

“You’re right. Okay, right. Okay.” You breathed out, as Spencer wrapped his other arm around you, holding you in a closer embrace while keeping your hands locked together.

“One of my aunts is looking at us. She looks like she wants to say something. Oh god, she’s coming over, Spencer act natural,”

“Saying act naturally is actually counter-active-” but he didn’t have time to finish before you had turned to greet the older woman, disentangling yourself from Spencer’s arms as you hugged the woman warmly.

“It’s so good to see you, Y/N, you know how we all worry about you doing that job of yours. The other week we saw you on the news about that tragedy with the young girl…” she trailed off, giving you a worrying look before quickly shifting her gaze to her actual target, Spencer.

“I think I saw you too, young man. You must be Y/N’s boyfriend,” she smiled at him, waiting to hear a response so she could return to the other matrons with the gossip.

“Yeah, nice to meet you, I’m Spencer.” You could tell he was thankful that the woman hadn’t stuck her hand out to shake his, as he positioned himself mostly behind you, keeping his hands occupied by letting one settle on your hip and the other keeping a hold of your suitcase.

“Spencer? Spencer Reid?” You heard your mother before you saw her, turning around in your place to finally see her, as Spencer whipped his head around as well. “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s so wonderful to finally meet you.”

Your mother had none of the restraint of your aunt, and unfortunately, you’d inherited your clingy side from her, which is why she immediately swooped in to give Spencer a hug. To his credit, he greeted her warmly as well and didn’t avoid the touch, but he kept it short and polite nonetheless.

“Mom, how did you know…”

“You tell me about your coworkers all the time, I’m just surprised I didn’t work it out sooner. I always said that you talked about that Spencer with a fond tone, you should ask your father, he’ll tell you that I did.” You rolled your eyes at your mother’s words, doing your best to avoid Spencer’s gaze. He’d fallen back into place by your side as you greeted your mother.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, You know, Y/N has been keeping you as this big secret for the last year, and it’s so nice to see that you’re actually real. You’re here!” She sounded so excited for you that your heart almost broke under the weight of your guilt, knowing that you’d have to come clean at some point after the wedding. As it was, you were already going to have to try really hard to avoid the photographer and videographer throughout the night so you didn’t have to be constantly reminded of your idiocy whenever your mother got the photo albums out,

“Sorry, the two of you are probably exhausted after that flight, right? Go and get yourself unpacked. The rehearsal dinner is at 8 p.m. so we’ll catch up then, sweetheart.” She left in a whirlwind, having deposited you next to the elevators, and left you with no other option but to do exactly as she said, making your way to your space for the weekend.

–X–

The following few hours had been a little awkward, to say the least. You’d awkwardly pulled away from one another in the elevator up to the room, apologizing for invading each other's personal space. The room was a decent size, but still small enough that you’d be constantly tripping up over one another the entire weekend if you weren’t careful.

Reid carefully unpacked his tuxedo when you got into the room, and then quietly informed you that he’d need a shower. You’d unpacked your own things while he did, trying not to listen to the water flowing over his body in the next room. His earlier touch had ignited something in you, and your heart was beating at his every gesture now, something that you were sure it hadn’t done before.

What was it about weddings that made you so open to even the possibility of romance that even someone so off-limits could become the object of your affection?

So you tried not to listen, not to wonder why it was taking the man so long to just take a shower, not to let your mind wander to a place where it was perfectly acceptable to wonder what he looked like in that shower, and you unpacked and organized your things.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m really sorry but I forgot to bring my clothes with me,” he called awkwardly through the door a few minutes after you heard the water turn off, and you turned to the bathroom, not expecting the sight before you.

You’d assumed from the quiet volume of his voice that he was calling from within the bathroom itself, but instead, he stood awkwardly in front of you, a towel wrapped around his waist and torso, held together desperately in one hand.

“Oh shit, sorry, I’ll just turn around, I guess,” you stumbled over the words, dragging your eyes back up to his face as you did so, whipping yourself around to stare ahead of you.

“No, no, it’s my fault. I was so hasty I forgot my outfit for tonight. It’s okay.” You heard him fumble for his clothes and return to the bathroom quickly with another mumbled apology, finally allowing you to let out a deep, almost dreamy sigh, startling yourself. Mentally chastising yourself once again, you finished your organizing and let yourself fall onto the bed in the middle of the room sleepily while you waited for him to come out again.

You must have dozed off a little because you woke with a jolt when you felt a soft touch on your arm. There he was above you, a soft and concerned look on his face as he woke you up as kindly as he could.

“Y/N, it’s 7 p.m. We need to get ready for the rehearsal.” He whispered as if he weren’t too bothered if you didn’t want to go down at all, content to let you sleep. But you forced yourself upright anyways, and nodded at his words, swiftly moving yourself towards the bathroom he had since departed.

“Thanks for waking me, Spence,” You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, gathering your towels and change of clothes before turning back to him. In the four hours you’d apparently been dead to the world, he’d managed to dry his hair, change his clothes, and, from the looks of the book on the bedside table, read through an entire book twice.

He noticed you looking and cleared his throat. “Sorry, you looked so tired I didn’t want to wake you, so I just sat here and read while you got some sleep.”

“It’s okay, Spence. I guess I was pretty tired. I’m gonna go…” you gestured towards the shower and stepped towards it with an awkward smile, not letting him answer before you had closed the door between you and taken a deep breath, setting thoughts of him aside for the night before you focused on getting yourself ready to face your lies.

An hour later, you were making your way back down to the lobby, having received a text from your brother that that was where everyone was gathering before making their way to the dining room. Spencer offered you his arm in the elevator on the way down.

“Here, grab my arm.” He said softly down to you, a sweet smile playing on his lips.

“Oh yeah that makes sense,” you said distractedly, looping your own through his and leaning into him.

“It’ll also stop you from picking your nails,” he joked.

“I don’t pick my nails!”

“You so do. You do it when you’re nervous and when you lie about something. Last month on that case in Chicago when that officer asked for your number, you told him you had a boyfriend and started picking your nails,” he laughed down at you, enjoying your pouting face a bit too much as he profiled you.

“You’re one to talk. The last time a woman asked you out, you started rambling about the linguistic history of the phrase “go out,” in the romantic sense. She stood there for five minutes before she gave up.”

“Wait, when did that happen? I don’t remember any woman trying to ask me out.”

“Then you’re even denser than I realized, Doctor Reid, because they do it constantly.” Your back and forth ended there, though, as the elevator doors finally opened into the lobby. You smoothed out your dress and tried your best to act natural as the two of you made your entrance.

“Y/N! Over here,” you heard your brother and saw him wave at you from the other side of the room, his fiancee next to him receiving guests.

“It’s been so long since I saw my kid sister. Get over here,” he smiled at you, beckoning you over, and you released your hold on Reid to give your brother a warm hug.

“Now who is this kid sister you’re talking about because last I checked you’re only 18 months older than me.”

“18 months, 18 years, all that matters is that I am, in fact, the older one,” he released you from the bear hug and glanced up to Reid, standing awkwardly watching the scene waiting for an invitation to the conversation. “Holy shit, you’re real.”

“Hey! Be nice. This is Spencer, he’s my… he’s my boyfriend, we work together.” You felt your cheeks flame as you introduced the two of them, your brother looking at Spencer through knitted eyebrows, taking on a faux protective stance.

“Spencer, hey. Mom mentioned you were here earlier, but I didn’t think you’d be so gangly… It’s my wedding, and I’ve been told I have to keep all threats to a minimum, but if I see you getting all handsy with my sister, just know that I have a blackbelt in jiu-jitsu.”

“No, you don’t. You have a yellow belt in karate at most, and you got that at age 10.” You laughed at the man.

“And whose fault is that?”

“Oh my god, it’s been almost 20 years, I already apologized!”

“Apologised for what?” Spencer finally managed to butt in, watching your sibling bickering as if it were a tennis match.

“This little rodent,” your brother said, scruffing up your hair as he spoke, “broke my wrist when she was 8 and I was 10.”

“It was self-defense! You were trying to use your karate moves on me and I panicked!”

“And now, you’re a hot-shot FBI Agent and you get to break bad guys wrists all the time.” He finished for you and you laughed, suddenly glad to be back around family.

“So, Spencer, you’re an FBI Agent, too? I thought my mom mentioned something about you being a Doctor earlier.”

“I am. A Doctor. And an FBI Agent, uh, they’re PhD’s not medical degrees, though. Three of them, Math, Chemistry and Engineering. I also have Bachelor's Degrees in Psychology, Philosophy, and Sociology.” He answered, and you looked up at him proudly, taking his hand as you noticed him growing slightly uncomfortable with the attention from your brother.

“Wow,” was all your brother said, until he finished the statement with “All those degrees and my sister was the best you could do, huh?” You punched him in the arm after that, and you felt Spencer physically relax a bit, twinning your fingers with his as you chastised your brother.

“Anyway, thanks for taking the time to come to our, hopefully, lovely wedding, the reception will be starting soon. The dining hall is just through there.” You hugged your brother again, and, with a breath of relief, led Spencer down the hall to the dining hall.

“That went well, I think?” you whispered to him, conspiratorially.

“Your family is nice,” he replied. “Does he always act like that, or is it the wedding spirit possessing him somehow?”

“If you’re referring to my brother, I think he’s probably partaken in a few flutes of champagne already this evening. But yes, he’s always like that. They all like to treat me like a baby when they see me.”

“I think it’s nice. They care about you a lot,” his words were warm, but his eyes were sad, and you remembered what you’d been told of Spencer’s own childhood and felt your heart ache for him. His mom loved him a lot, but Spencer had needed to grow up much too fast. You squeezed his hand, still clasped in yours and before you knew it you were pushing onto your tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you, Spencer. For being here,” you said as his now flushed face met yours. You didn’t let him respond though, simply pushing forward into the dining hall, ready to live in the fantasy of your own making for the evening.

–X–

“Spencer, you were amazing!” You giggled, walking down the hall to your room, stumbling slightly in your excitement and haste.

“Those magic tricks? The little babies couldn’t get enough of you,” you spun around, wrapping your arms around the man’s neck and pulling him in close to you, letting him hold you against the door to your room. He laughed a little at your antics as he pulled out the key card.

“Y/N, are you drunk?” he asked, one hand firmly planted on your waist to steady you now.

“No! I’m just happy. And if that happiness was caused by an array of cocktails forced into my hands by distant aunts and cousins who all wanted to know about my absolute catch of a boyfriend, then that is simply secondary to the feeling itself. And furthermore-” He pushed the door behind you in on itself, and your words were cut off by your legs giving out beneath you.

You were so sure you were about to take a tumble to the floor that you shut your eyes tight and braced for an impact that didn’t come. Opening them again slowly, you saw Spencer closer than before, his face mere inches from your own as he held you in an improvised dip, having caught you just before you’d hit the ground.

“Sorry. I… Shit, maybe I am drunk,” you breathed out, not letting your eyes drift from his own, knowing that if you ever considered a glance down at his lips at that moment, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from closing the measly distance separating you.

“You should use the bathroom first,” he told you, but without making any move of his own, stuck in that pose with you as if he was content to stay there for as long as he could hold you. “You should take your make-up off. We have a long day tomorrow, right?”

You were the first one to move, letting your feet find a more solid footing beneath you and twisting up from his grip. His hands didn’t leave your body as you became more upright though, still keeping you in that close embrace.

“Yeah, I should… I should go wash up.” You said, and he nodded, still looking at you with the same intensity as before.

“Spencer, that means you need to move,” you whispered quietly, and he jumped back as soon as the words were out of your mouth.

“Sorry. I’ll just… I’ll just be over there,” he held his hands up in surrender before moving further into the room, leaving you next to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, you emerged from the bathroom and were ready to sleep once again. Thankfully, you of earlier that day had managed to store your pajamas in the bathroom ready for their use. Upon exiting the bathroom, you saw that Spencer was getting ready to sleep too, slacks and a shirt having been replaced by a pair of flannel pants and a very old and beaten-up CalTech sweater, looking perplexedly down at the bed.

“Spence, what’s wrong?”

“We didn’t speak any further about the sleeping arrangements…” he mumbled and you looked at the bed in front of you, still confused at his meaning. “Y/N, we have to share the bed.”

“Oh.” You knew you probably sounded dumb, but after the amount of alcohol thrust upon you that night, that was all you could muster at this point.

“I can sleep on the floor if that makes you feel more comfortable. It’s probably no worse than some of the motel beds we’ve stayed on before,” he offered, but you instantly shook your head.

“No, I dragged you out here, I’m not making you sleep on the floor as well,” you sighed and made your way to the side of the bed you’d slept on earlier, beginning to pull the covers down so you could get in.

“What are you doing?” Spencer asked, perplexed by your somehow contrasting words and actions.

“I’m getting ready for bed. It’s late.” You replied, not looking up at him again, for fear that he’d spot the blush on your face. “You should too,” you continued, patting the other side of the bed, gesturing for him to get in, too.

“Oh.” It was his turn to stand there shell-shocked in the moment, and you almost let out a giggle but held back thinking that would be too much for him to take in at that moment.

“Come on, Spence, I’m tired, I’m sure you’re tired. We’re just sharing a bed, it’s not like you have to marry me after this.” You climbed fully into the bed, making sure that your nightgown covered you decently before pulling the covers up around you. Spencer mumbled something that you didn’t catch, but he acquiesced and climbed in after you. You turned your head over on the pillow to face him, turning onto your side as you watched him turn his head to you as well.

“What?” he smiled, noticing your stare.

“Nothing. Good night, Spence,” you smiled, finally letting your eyes drop closed.

“Good night, Y/N.” He whispered, and the sound of his voice carried you off to sleep.

–X–

You weren’t sure if it was the light streaming in through the window or the rise and fall of a chest that wasn’t your own was the first thing to wake you in the morning, but nonetheless, you woke from the comfortable warmth of sleep and found yourself wrapped around your fake boyfriend.

To be fair to yourself, he was also wrapped around you. Your head had gravitated from your pillow to his chest, his left arm wrapped up and around your back. Your leg had also risen in the night, pulled up over his waist, held in place by his other arm, which was, almost embarrassingly, cradling your ass, pulling you in closer to his core. Unsure about how to go about disentangling yourself, you resigned yourself to just waking the man up.

“Spencer… Spencer,” you whispered, letting the hand that had fallen onto his chest tap him slightly. He stirred a little and then cracked an eye open, looking confused with the situation.

“Y/N, is it time for the wedding?” He asked through half-lidded eyes, evidently wanting nothing more than to fall back into whatever dreams he was having. You shifted uncomfortably in his arms then, suddenly growing stiff in the position you’d probably held for hours, and found your nightgown had risen dangerously high on your body, his hand on your near bare ass.

“No, no, it’s just…” You rolled your hips against his in discomfort, and the movement had his eyes breaking open as he finally took in your positions.

“Shit, I’m….Sorry, I don’t know what happened, I must’ve grabbed you when we were sleeping,” he said, reluctantly slipping his hands away from your body, trailing his hand around your leg, and letting it fall onto his stomach. The movement sent a shiver up your spine, as you finally had enough room to lift your torso up, not quite ready to relinquish the proximity of your entire body yet.

“It’s okay, I think it was probably me who started it in the first place. Those pillows weren’t that comfortable…” you tried to explain, the hand on his chest rubbing slow circles into his skin before you could realize what you were doing.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position then as well, clumsily. With your legs still wrapped around his waist, you had no choice but to move with him, suddenly finding yourself straddling him, the bedsheets suddenly pressed away from your body. If he looked down, he’d see a lot more than you planned for him to see, your panties on clear display as your nightgown twisted itself up into the sheets.

“Shit sorry,” he moaned out again, as you steadied yourself with hands on his shoulders.

“No, it’s okay, I didn’t move quick enough.” You quickly pulled your dress down again, and extracted yourself from the bed, lifting your leg up and off of him and finally pushing off the bed, leaving him sat there.

His hands fell into his lap and you started gathering things around the room, readying yourself for the busy day ahead.

“I have to be in the bridal suite at 11, so we have about… two hours to kill before then. Do you want to grab a shower first, or should I?”

“You first,” he mumbled quickly, before clearing his throat and trying again. “You should go first. You probably have more to do today, right?” You nodded at his words and made your way to the bathroom again. Out of the corner of your eye though, as you let the door close behind you, you watched his hands come up to cradle his flushed face, as he let his head fall back again into the pillow.

–X–

The morning was so busy after that, you barely had any chance to talk to Spencer again. You spent the early afternoon in the bridal suite with the wedding party, welcoming your new sister to the family, then made your way to the aisle space set up outside, checking up on last-minute details and helping to flower girls into position. You weren’t walking down the aisle yourself, but you could see that the extra help was letting the very stressed-out Maid of Honour get some well-needed respite. And more importantly, it stopped your wandering thoughts from letting you fantasize about Spencer.

You’d woken up in bed next to people before, of course, but it had never felt so comfortable. In fact, other people you’d slept with said you were pretty distant in your sleep, choosing to move as far away from physical touch as you could get, but you knew with no doubt that you had been the one to move in first, to touch him first. That he’d pulled you even closer had your heart singing, and you wanted to be wrapped up in him all over again, suddenly desperate to seek him out. So you distracted yourself, not wanting to make any mistakes you would regret when you were no longer wrapped up in your own fantasy.

So you kept your distance as the ceremony started. Then the wedding march was playing, and you were holding back tears as his hand slipped into yours, your head falling onto his shoulder as you watched your brother marry the love of his life.

You kept your distance as you reached the reception hall, watching all the old ladies on both sides fawn over him, asking him questions, and watching from his side as he blushed at the attention. You swept the hair out of his eyes as the couple was announced, and you took your seat for the wedding meal and the speeches, his hand falling to your back to guide you to your chair, pulling it out for you like a true gentleman.

You kept your distance as your new sister tossed the bouquet, and despite your low effort and the ravenous looks of the bridesmaids, it fell neatly into your hands as if it belonged there. You ran excitedly over to him to show him and he lifted you into a hug, caught up in your own excitement.

You kept your distance until you realized you’d not kept your distance at all, physically unable to keep yourself away from the man who had somehow stolen your heart in the middle of the night.

“I know that look,” your brother said, somehow sneaking up on you later into the night as you watched Spencer perform even more of his magic tricks for the smaller guests.

“What look?” you asked, not for one second letting your eyes drift from Spencer.

“You’re in love with him,” he said, taking a swig of the drink in his hand.

“He’s my boyfriend,” you said reflexively, turning to the drinks table behind you and picking up one for yourself.

“No, he isn’t. Or at least he wasn’t before this weekend,” your brother said, as your eyes finally snapped up to him.

“Oh, don’t act all surprised, Miss FBI Profiler. You may be good, but I’ll always be your older brother, and contrary to popular opinion, I do in fact pay attention to things.” You sighed and leaned back against the table.

“How’d you figure it out?”

“You were picking your nails the entire way through the reception dinner when the aunties were asking you about your relationship. You did that when we were younger too, when you tried lying to Mom and Dad about how I broke my wrist. Doesn’t take two PhD’s to figure that out.”

“Three.”

“Three what?”

“Three PhDs. He has three of them.” You sighed dreamily and ran a stressed hand through your head.

“He’s just my coworker. I didn’t want to disappoint Mom by coming alone after telling her all those stories, but now…” You tried to explain yourself but words were escaping you in that moment.

“You should tell him, trust me. He definitely feels the same.”

“How are you so confident about that? How did you manage to end up with all of the confidence between the two of us, when I can barely work up the courage to tell my own mother I’m still single?”

“Y/N, look at me. You got the brains, I had to have something. And no man flies to the opposite side of the country on a few day's notice for a girl who is just a friend, okay? That’s more logic than confidence, and that’s supposed to be your strong suit.”

You considered his words for a second, turning back to look at Spencer. Evidently, he’d finished his magic show and was beginning to say goodbye to the children, but he felt your eyes on him somehow and met your gaze. He brought his hand up into a shy wave before a little girl grabbed his attention again, and he looked at her seriously, nodding along to each word she was saying.

“Fuck, what do I do, I’m not good with… any of this.” You turned back to your brother, but he’d left you there, stranded in your own thoughts as you let yourself hope, let your brain dream that one day this would be your wedding and the man by your side would be Spencer Reid.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom request the presence of all the couples on the dancefloor for this next song.” You saw your brother again, next to his wife, whispering his explanations in his ear as she turned to look at you and winked as well. God, they were going to be a force to be reckoned with together now, you thought, as people started pushing past you to make their way to the dancefloor.

You recognized the song of course, and it was almost so on the nose you almost rolled your eyes. More Than Words by Extreme. Perfect.

“Y/N, may I have this dance?” He had somehow snuck up on you from behind as you watched your brother, and held his hand out to you. You put your drink down and took it, letting him lead you to the dance floor.

“I didn’t think you danced, Dr. Reid,” you teased him as he pulled you in, letting his hands rest on your waist, as yours came up around his neck, gently letting him sway you side to side in time with the music.

“I don’t really, but it seemed wrong not to,” he smiled. “I’m at a wedding, with the most beautiful girl on my arm, and the couple made it very clear that we should be dancing, so here I am.” You blushed at his words as he spoke. He removed his hands from your waist, instead grasping one of yours in his own as he pulled you closer.

You stared up at him with a soft smile for a few more seconds before letting your head fall back to his chest.

“I know I’ve said it a lot this weekend, but thank you, Spencer.” You said into his shirt, letting him hold you close as the song went on.

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N.” He insisted, and you looked up at him again. “Actually… I didn’t exactly agree to this with the best of intentions.”

Your heart lept to your throat as you stared up at him, hoping that he would take your silence as a means to continue.

“I’ve been… I thought that maybe…” he struggled to get the words out, his face aflame with the effort.

“You promised me those coffees right?” He finally stuttered out, and you were left confused and a little disappointed.

“Yeah, Spence, it’s okay, I’ll get you those coffees for the month, just like we promised.” You couldn’t help the sad smile that played on your lips as you answered him, so sure that he was about to say something else.

“No, I mean… Y/N I don’t want the coffee. I want this. I want us to go home, and make everything that you made up come true. I want to take you on a date to that coffee shop. I want to be a boyfriend you can call and tell your mom about because it’s serious and it’s going to work out between us. I even… God, I even spent the morning looking up book fairs in New York City so I could make that come true as well,” he rambled the words out and you could feel the tears forming in your eyes.

“Spencer,” you said softly, trying to get him to focus on you, but he’d started speaking and he wasn’t going to be stopped so easily.

“And if any of that creeps you out, just say the word and I’ll never mention it again. Because I know I’m not good with this, and when I feel something, I tend to feel it overwhelmingly, and Derek tells me I can be really oblivious sometimes, which I don’t really get, but-”

“Spencer,” you put a bit more force into your words this time, punctuating them with a hand on his face.

“Spencer, kiss me.” And he does. He takes your head in both of his hands, and he draws you up to him perfectly, letting your hands fall to the lapels of his suit jacket as he steals your breath away one more time. The kiss is lingering, but short, and he hesitantly backs away, looking around to spot witnesses. But you don’t care and you pull him back down for another, and another, until you’re just two lovers on the dance floor that cannot get enough of each other, gasping for breath between chaste kisses as you let him hold you there, gently swaying.

“Spencer,” you whisper finally, forehead resting on his, as the song finally draws to a close.

“Yes?”

“Spencer, take me to bed.” You tell him, and he nods. He leads you over to the bride and groom where you offer each of them a hug and a happy future before making your excuses and running away with Spencer back into the hotel like two love-drunk teenagers, a mess of giggles and stolen kisses as you stumble up to your room for the second time that weekend.

But this time, you don’t hesitate, don’t pull away. He backs you into the door and you let him hold you there, his mouth on yours, your tongues entwined as he fumbles for his key card. You fall together into the room, laughing and smiling the entire way, not letting him escape your touch.

“May I?” He asks, playing with the zipper of your dress as you kiss his cheek, his jaw, his neck, anywhere you can reach, nodding and moaning your consent. The moment the zip is pulled down, he lets you go for a second, and the dress falls straight to the floor. You're practically bare in front of him, chest exposed, neck littered with the beginning of love bites that he’s about to absolutely build upon.

“You’re beautiful.” He says, softly, wrapping his arms around you again, lifting you up so your legs can wrap around him as he delivers one more soul-crushing kiss to your lips. Your brain is a mess of emotions, your only solid thought is that you will never let him go again. You both eagerly worked on unbuttoning his shirt together, a desperate mess of breaths as he finally laid you on the bed. His hand fell to your core, tracing a finger over your sensitive nub as you begged him for more, needing to feel all of him, to devour his very existence.

He pulled himself out of his remaining clothes, lips still attached to yours, climbing over you and holding you tenderly, his arms wrapping around your body as his legs came to settle between your own. Dropping his forehead to yours, he finally spoke again, his hand dropping between the two of you to line himself up.

“Is this… are you sure?” You heard the restraint in his voice, the desperation, the love, the overwhelming lust as he held himself back, needing to hear your consent.

“Spencer, I love you,” you whispered, and he finally pushed himself into you, joining the two of you together in a moment of bliss. You shared another sweet kiss, letting him swallow each and every one of your moans as he began thrusting into you, your hips rising to meet him in your delirious pleasure.

He whispered sweet nothings in your ears, brushing the hair off your face every now and again to tell you how beautiful you looked, and how well you were doing.

“You’re so perfect, Y/N, you’re doing so good for me,” he pressed kisses against your neck with each word, keeping his pace steady as you chased your inevitable high, already clenching around his thick cock.

“Spencer, I love you,” you let the words drop from your tongue like a prayer, repeating them over and over with each thrust as small tears welled up out of your eyes. He kissed them away from your cheeks, listening to each confession as your stomach tightened and your climax spilled over you. He grabbed your waist then, leaving one hand cupping and stroking your cheek as his own thrusts grew sloppy, finally spending himself fully inside you.

“I love you, too,” he whispered into you then, unwilling to let you go for even one second. You spent the rest of the night whispering the words back and forth to one another, waiting with bated breath for the fantasy to break, for the magic of the wedding to wear off.

It never did.

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[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [19]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 3.9k

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 18 | Fic Masterlist | Part 20

"What do you mean it will take weeks for me to fully recover? I don't have that kind of time, Yunho. This war isn't over yet." Your husband frowned, his gaze fixed on the physician from his position on the bed.

You sighed, stepping closer to the doctor, your concern evident, "Seonghwa, Physician Jung is doing his best. How can you return to battle if you're not physically strong enough? What good will that do, hm? And remember, you've acknowledged Officer Song's strategic prowess. Perhaps it's time to have a little faith in him for now."

Like magic, your words softened the general's hardened expression as he nodded in defeat, "Fine, I suppose you're right," He offered you a smile before turning back to Yunho, "I trust you've at least written back to Mingi to assure him I'm fine, right?"

"It's done, my lord."

"That's good; things should be stable for now. We dealt a significant blow to the Ruhon forces in our last battle. It's unlikely they'll launch any new attacks soon, considering their diminished numbers. If things continue to go well, this war might conclude sooner than expected." Seonghwa remarked, feeling optimistic.

"I certainly hope so, for everyone's sake. I made sure to inform Officer Song that you'll need a few weeks to recover. If they need you urgently, I'm sure he'll write back promptly," The physician assured, relieved to see your husband immediately agree with him, calming down so quickly with your presence, "Yes, I'm sure he will." Yunho knew for certain that without you there, he would have had a much harder time attempting to soothe the older man's frustration.

Sensing the general's longing gaze toward you, the doctor suppressed a knowing grin. Understanding that he was interrupting your much-needed private moment, he decided it was time to leave you both alone. With a final bow, he excused himself, "Well, that's all from me for now. I'll return tomorrow for your bandage change and medication. Good day, General Park and Lady Park."

After the physician left the room, you approached Seonghwa to ensure his comfort, tucking the comforters snugly around him and adjusting the pillow behind his back. His eyes remained fixed on your face, which he had missed dearly, as you fussed over him, "Is the temperature alright? Let me know if it's too hot or cold," You inquired. He nodded, and you continued, "Are you hungry? You must be. I'll ask the kitchen staff to prepare something for you—"

Before you could step away from his bedside, he grasped your wrist, his expression displaying a small pout, "Stop, my love. I just want you to stay with me, please."

You softened, placing your hand over his and giving it a reassuring squeeze before brushing some of his hair away from his face, "I'm sorry, I was just worried about you. You've been away at war for so long. I wanted to make sure you have everything you need now that you're home before you eventually return to the battlefield."

He smiled, his hold on your wrist tightening slightly, "All I need is you." He murmured, gently pulling you closer into his arms.

Feeling your heart melt at his words, you relaxed into his embrace on the bed as he pulled the comforter over both of you. Nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck, you sighed contentedly as he kissed your temple. He felt complete with you so close again, "God, I missed you so much," He confessed, "Out of all the wars I've fought, this has to be the most dreadful one. Not because it was tough, but because I couldn't stop thinking about you throughout it all."

"I missed you too, Seonghwa," You confessed, drawing in a deep breath to savour his familiar scent, "I never thought I could yearn to be near someone this badly."

His eyes instinctively fluttered shut as you nestled closer to him, pressing his nose against your hair, wishing for this moment to last forever. After a moment of comfortable silence, he couldn't resist asking, "I've heard a lot has happened while I was gone. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you through it. Tell me everything, my wife."

Taking a deep breath, you started from the beginning, recounting the events that unfolded after the general had departed for war. You described encountering Jinjoo during your visit to the fabric factory with Hongjoong, the surprise visit from the prince to the estate, and his unexpected invitation to the birthday banquet. You explained how he lied about you representing Seonghwa at the event and your gratitude for Wooyoung and San's help in preparing for it.

As you narrated every little detail that occurred at the supposed royal birthday celebration, your husband's heart swelled with pride and admiration. He listened intently, feeling his love for you grow with each word. Your courage in standing up for yourself and defending him in front of Prince Yeosang filled him with immense gratitude. He realised how fortunate he was to have you by his side.

"I'm so proud of you, my darling Lady Park."

With a light scoff, you teasingly pushed him in the chest, "Are you now, my dearest General Park? I still can't believe the first thing you chose to do after coming back was hurt me and push me away."

Guilt immediately clouded his expression as he drew closer to you, emitting a small whine, "I'm sorry, my love. Truly, I am. Speaking those cruel words hurt me more than this damn wound. I promise I didn't mean any of it. You're not troublesome at all, and I do want you with me for the rest of my days. If anything, you're all I need from now until the end of time."

At that, you could no longer bear to continue making him feel bad. Turning serious, you gently caressed the bandaged area on his abdomen before speaking, "I understand, Hwa. I really do. But I swear, if you ever pull something like that again, I won't hesitate to let Hongjoong loose on you."

His heart skipped a beat at the nickname you used for him, one you had never used before, "What did you just call me? Say it again."

Embarrassed, you blinked rapidly and cleared your throat before repeating softly, "I called you Hwa. It's your name, isn't it?"

He nodded with a cheeky grin, covering your hand with his, "Indeed it is. I love how bold you've become, my love. Now, along with that nickname, tell me you love me again."

You blushed at his request, feeling he deserved to hear it as many times as he wanted now that he'd returned to your side safely. Relenting, you bit your lip and murmured, "I love you, Hwa."

"Again." He demanded, resting his forehead gently against yours.

"I love you, Hwa."

"Again, my love." He whispered, leaning in closer with hooded eyes.

"I love you, Hwa."

"Say it for me just one more time."

"I love you so much, Park Seonghwa."

Intoxicated by your presence, he could no longer resist cupping your face and pressing his lips firmly against yours. You kissed him back fervently, eyes fluttering shut as you relished the sensation of his lips on yours. Both your hearts raced as you made up for lost time, pressing close to one another under the sheets. Your cheeks burned up, realising this was the most intimate moment you'd shared with your husband so far.

Gently pushing him away by the chest, you looked up at him, worry evident in your eyes, "That's enough, Hwa. You're still injured—"

But before you could finish your sentence, he leaned in, capturing your lips in another loving kiss. You gasped in surprise, but your resistance crumbled quickly as he deepened the kiss. Maybe just for a little longer, you thought to yourself, giving in to the moment.

As he savoured the feeling of having you so close, Seonghwa's emotions swirled within him like a tempest. He needed this closeness desperately, especially after the fear he'd felt earlier, thinking he might be close to death. The regret for hurting you with his words gnawed endlessly at him, and he despised the idea of being separated from you again. How could he have ever entertained the thought of you being with another man? The mere thought of Prince Yeosang in his place, holding you, touching you, kissing you, filled him with an uncontrollable jealousy that bordered on madness.

These thoughts fueled a surge of aggression within him as he flipped you around on the bed, trapping you beneath him. He loomed over you, his gaze intense as he whispered, "Mine. You're all mine."

As much as the sudden action flustered you and caused your heart to skip a beat, you frowned at his stubbornness, realising he wouldn't know when to stop unless sternly told off, "Are you out of your mind, Park Seonghwa? Such big movements could affect the wound, you idiot." You scolded, disrupting the intimate moment.

He blinked, momentarily speechless at the abrupt change in tone, protesting, "I'm fine, my wife—"

Before he could continue, the dressmaker barged in with raised brows, "Oh, we're all fine now, aren't we? I guess you're well enough to take a beating then."

The general panicked, hastily laying back in his spot, "Hongjoong, please, it's rude to enter without knocking." He chided.

You snickered when his friend rolled his eyes, "Well, it's also rude to disrespect your wife, but here we are."

"Oh my god, stop reminding me—"

"I'll stop when you learn to grow the hell up."

"Says you?!"

With a deep sigh, you stood up from your husband's bed, "You two fight to your heart's content; I'm going to prepare something to eat for this one." You said, gesturing to Seonghwa, ignoring his silent pleas not to leave him alone with his friend.

Hongjoong grinned at you, "Don't you worry, I'll take good care of him in the meantime."

Oh, I know you will.

"Have we heard from Physician Jung yet?" Mingi inquired as he was being suited up in preparation for the impending attack by the approaching Ruhon men.

"No, sir. It appears we're facing this battle on our own. But with your exceptional strategies, we should manage well even without General Park." One of the soldiers replied, striving to maintain optimism despite the military commander's absence.

"Let us hope so." The strategist muttered, unable to bring himself to reveal that his strategies had been devised with the assumption of having the best warrior in all of Joseon leading the army. Officer Song hadn't seen battlefield action since his promotion, and his combat skills were far from polished. Just why did this have to happen in the general's absence? Mingi feared the responsibility; if they failed in this battle, it would fall on him. The prospect of leading these men to their deaths was enough to make him feel nauseous.

He still couldn't grasp how Ruhon had made such a swift comeback. It seemed implausible given the significant losses they had suffered in the last battle. After all, the enemy nation wasn't known for its strategic prowess; they were often predictable in their actions. Unless... they were intentionally misleading Joseon into underestimating them? If so, the strategist might have played right into their hands as part of their plan.

Oh god, what do I do?

As General Officer Song meticulously went through his preparations for the impending battle, a sense of unease settled over him like a heavy cloak. Even with his efforts to focus solely on the task at hand, his thoughts kept drifting back to Seonghwa. The absence of their commander, his superior, and one of his closest friends weighed heavily on his mind.

With each passing moment, his worry for the general intensified. He couldn't shake the feeling of dread that enveloped him, wondering if his friend was safe and well. Had the older man managed to make it home? Had Yunho received his letter, informing him of General Park's condition?

These questions nagged endlessly at him, gnawing at his insides as he grappled with the uncertainty of the situation. Despite his attempts to maintain a facade of confidence for the sake of his fellow soldiers, Mingi couldn't shake the underlying fear that something terrible might have happened to Seonghwa. All he could do now was hope and pray for his friend's safety, even as the spectre of war loomed ever closer.

A sudden wave of fear washed over him, unlike anything he had experienced in a long time. The general's absence felt more profound and impactful than ever before. It was as if the very foundation of his confidence had been shaken, revealing the stark reality that his sense of assurance had always been rooted in the presence and trust of his commanding officer.

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, the strategist found himself questioning his own abilities and worthiness. Without General Park by his side, his confidence wavered, leaving him feeling unsteady and uncertain. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt such panic in war.

With a heavy heart, he squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, attempting to steady his nerves. Doing his best to ignore the doubts that plagued him, he knew he had a duty to fulfil. With trembling hands, he reviewed his strategies once more, desperately seeking reassurance in the plans he had meticulously crafted.

As he waited for the cue to head out and face the enemy, Officer Song resolved to push aside his fears and doubts. He may not have Seonghwa's guidance and leadership at this moment, but he knew he had to stand firm and lead the troops to the best of his abilities. With determination set in his heart, Mingi braced himself, ready to face whatever may come in the battle that awaited him.

Just as he was hoping to receive any updates about the general or word from Physician Jung, a soldier burst into the main tent, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. The strategist's heart skipped a beat, looking forward to some semblance of reassurance amid his mounting anxiety. However, instead of providing the updates he had been desperately seeking, the soldier stammered out his words.

"S-sir, I'm afraid it's time we head out and be on standby," The soldier managed to say between breaths, "The Ruhon army should be arriving anytime soon."

Mingi's hands clenched involuntarily, his mind racing with a mix of apprehension and determination. Despite the lack of information about Seonghwa's condition, he knew that duty called and he had to lead his troops into battle. With a firm nod, he suppressed the trembling in his hands and resolved to face the conflict head-on.

"Let's go out and make General Park proud." He declared, his voice steady despite the turmoil within him. With resolve burning in his eyes, he led his men out of the tent.

Moments later, Officer Song found himself mounted on a horse, the weight of his armour pressing against his shoulders as he surveyed the Joseon army lined up behind him. They stood at attention, ready for his orders, their anticipation palpable in the air.

As he gazed out at the empty land ahead, where the enemy forces would soon emerge, Mingi could hear nothing but the thundering of his own heart in his ears. His hands tightened around the hilt of his sword, a familiar weight that offered some measure of comfort in the face of uncertainty.

With a deep breath, he forced himself to focus, pushing aside the uncertainties that threatened to overwhelm him. He may not be Park Seonghwa, but he had undergone rigorous training and was a capable fighter in his own right. Reminding himself of his own combat skills, he squared his shoulders and steeled his resolve.

"We stand ready." He declared, his voice carrying across the ranks of soldiers behind him. Despite the nerves gnawing at his insides, he projected an air of confidence, determined to lead his troops with strength and determination.

I hope you're proud of me, hyung-nim.

His breath hitched in his throat as he finally spotted a tiny speck on the horizon, growing larger and more distinct with each passing moment. His heart raced as he realised that these were the enemy soldiers they had been waiting for. With a loud voice, he yelled the order for all soldiers to get into position.

Tensions were high as everyone readied themselves, their nerves stretched taut with fear at the absence of their strongest warrior to lead them. But as the figures drew closer, Officer Song's brow furrowed in confusion.

Something was not right.

Instead of a formidable army, only a few Ruhon soldiers were riding toward them, their arms raised in what appeared to be a gesture of surrender. Mingi's eyes widened in disbelief as he heard their cries.

"Soldiers of Joseon! Please don't attack! We have come to surrender!"

A sense of astonishment rippled through the ranks of the Joseon army as they processed the unexpected turn of events. One of the Ruhon men even went so far as to pull out a white flag, waving it frantically to signal their willingness to concede defeat.

The strategist's grip tightened on his sword as he studied the Ruhon soldiers before him, their faces worn with exhaustion and defeat. Despite their assurances, he couldn't afford to let his guard down yet, not after the treacherous tactics they had previously employed against Seonghwa.

"Hold it right there! How can we believe you're telling the truth?" He demanded, his voice firm and unwavering.

The Ruhon soldiers let out heavy sighs, their arms still raised in a gesture of surrender, "Please, we're telling the truth. Most of our troops have been depleted from the last battle," One of them explained, his voice tinged with desperation, "Our ruler has sent word just this morning to put this war to an immediate stop. A messenger is on the way to your royal palace to convey the message to your King as we speak. We come in peace to relay this message, and that is all. All remaining Ruhon troops will be retreating from our camp after this."

Mingi remained silent for a moment, weighing their words carefully. Finally, he lowered his sword, signalling for his own troops to stand down, "Very well," He said, his voice tinged with caution, "But know that we will be watching closely. Any sign of treachery from you, and we will not hesitate to defend ourselves."

The Ruhon soldiers visibly relaxed at his words, nodding quickly, "You have my word." One of them assured before they turned around and began riding away. The tension dissolved as they disappeared from sight, leaving Officer Song and his men standing in disbelief. Relief washed over them, dispelling the earlier fears. The strategist's expression mirrored the collective sentiment of his troops—a mix of relief and disbelief.

"Well, I guess we should head back to camp and await confirmation then," Mingi said, his voice filled with a hint of exhaustion. His soldiers nodded eagerly, grateful that the tense situation had been resolved peacefully. They began to disperse, their spirits lifted by the unexpected turn of events.

Now, everything fell into place, and the pieces of the puzzle aligned once again. His earlier suspicions about Ruhon's swift recruitment of soldiers now made perfect sense. It was clear that they no longer possessed enough manpower to continue fighting this war.

Returning to the main tent, Mingi was relieved to find a messenger waiting for him, "Officer Song, there you are! You have a letter from Physician Jung Yunho," The messenger announced eagerly. He hurried over to receive the paper, unfolding it with urgency. His eyes scanned the neatly written words at lightning speed, absorbing the contents. Once finished, he released the breath he had been holding, sinking into the seat behind him, "Oh, thank heavens the general is alright." He breathed out, a weight lifted from his shoulders.

The messenger's face immediately brightened at his words, and he quickly left to share the good news with the others. Mingi couldn't help but smile; everything was finally falling into place.

Peace, at last.

But his moment of relief was short-lived as a commotion erupted outside. The strategist frowned and left the tent to see what was happening. He found his soldiers blocking the entry of a woman, which puzzled him. Women weren't allowed in this area.

"Forgive us, ma'am. Women are not permitted here," One of the soldiers explained. Mingi pushed through to hear her response, "Yes, I know that, but you don't understand. I'm here on His Majesty's orders. We received word that General Park has been poisoned, and I've been sent specifically to treat him."

As he caught sight of her petite figure, his eyes widened in recognition. Not because of her uniform, which indicated she was a female royal physician, renowned for their medical expertise, but because she was the one he had been searching for all this time.

I finally found you, my one.

« Preview of Part 20 »

"The audacity of those Ruhon bastards, attempting to poison my strongest warrior. That's nothing short of treachery, isn't it, my Queen?" The King grumbled, his concern for Seonghwa evident in his furrowed brow. He had even dispatched their most skilled female royal physician to the war zone, trusting her to heal him.

Anxiety filled his being as his wife sighed beside him, offering a comforting hand on his back. She had yet to muster any courage to mention the trouble caused by their fourth son during the general's absence, not wanting to add to her husband's worries, "I wish I had an answer for that, Your Majesty." She murmured sympathetically.

Before the royal couple could further drown in their pool of misery, the royal secretary rushed in with a few letters. He hastily performed the formal bow, only to have the King wave it away.

"Forget the formalities, Secretary Choi! Tell us what updates you have this instant!" His Majesty's voice was urgent.

San nodded, swiftly unfolding the papers and reading each one aloud. With each letter, a weight seemed to lift from the room.

"The first letter is from General Park," He began, "He reports he's safely home and receiving treatment from his own doctor."

Relief washed over the King's face.

"And the second?" Her Majesty pressed, her tone hopeful.

San's voice steadied as he continued, "The second is from the ruler of Ruhon. He acknowledges defeat and officially surrenders. He is also requesting an audience to discuss a peace treaty. It would seem the war is over, Your Majesties."

"Oh, thank goodness it's over."

After a moment of everyone digesting the news, His Majesty furrowed his brows in slight confusion, "Wait, General Park is home already, you say?" His voice carried a note of incredulity, "How odd. That would mean he began travelling back before there was even news of the enemy's surrender. Why would he return home all of a sudden? Did something else happen?"

The Queen's heart sank at that. For weeks, she had harboured the hope of shielding Yeosang from his father's potential wrath, but now it seemed fate had other plans.

I'm sorry, my son.

Woohoo, only the final part is left, and we're done with the main story! Psst, try going over to the Spinoff Masterlist to see if you can spot anything new HEHE🙈

As always, thank you so much for reading, and please let me know your thoughts! <3

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#edenesth #the way to this heart #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #arranged marriage au #joseon era #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x you #ateez fic #historical au

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Wanting What You Can't Have - Charles Leclerc

Dark fic - if you don't like this or the warnings/themes make you uncomfortable. I can't stress this enough, DO NOT READ THIS

Similar to I'll Never Date A Fuckboy for Lando, this is pretty damn dark imo to readers proceed with caution

Request from @erikasurfer - Hey girl I love your dark fics! Do you think you could do a dark Charles one and it involves kidnapping, like reader is Charles bestfriend and Arthur’s girlfriend but he’s mad,y in love with her but she’s all for Arthur ? Ignore if you want just an idea lovely 🥰

Themes/warnings: Kidnapping, manipulation, forced break up, public involvement, coerced into cheating, baby trapping, cockwarming, smut (rope is used, briefly)

Honestly everyone, even Arthur a little, was shocked when it came to light that y/n and Arthur had formed a romantic connection. The whole thing was...odd.

Y/n had befriended Charles a few years ago through mutual friends and everyone had sort of noticed a certain smile that Charles had reserved for her. Well everyone but Arthur and y/n noticed apparently.

When the relationship went public with a hard launch on Instagram, there was a lot of love and support. Very few were upset and the more they were together and posting all about each other, it became obvious that they're so perfectly together.

Though y/n still loves Charles...as a best friend.

"Charlie!" Y/n grins jogging to him as they arrive at his yacht. "How have you been? All the way on the other side of the world so much."

"Good. I have missed you." Charles smiles as they hug then he sees Arthur following and moving for a hug as y/n shifts back. "-Both of you."

"I told you I'm his favourite." Y/n smirks looking at her boyfriend who rolls his eyes at her.

Enduring seeing Arthur and y/n together is just not enjoyable.

Charles can paint a smile on his face and a pretend to be happy for them but instead he's never been more disgusted by a couple. But it's his best friend and his brother, he has to be supportive. They're happy.

Even if she should be happy with him and not his brother.

At some point Arthur has to leave, though not without a very big display of affection with y/n who looks like he hung the moon and stars in the sky with how much she seems to admire him.

"I love you." Y/n smiles earning a grin from the youngest Leclerc.

"I love you too. I won't be gone for long and I'll come see you first thing when I'm back."

"Ok." Y/n nods then sighing as Arthur leaves and her gaze remains on his shrinking figure before she feels the presence of yet another Leclerc. "You've got the best brother, you know."

"I know. He's not quite as good as you." Charles jokes, though he does mean it and she laughs nudging him.

"Don't be mean." Y/n giggles before she looks at him. "Anyway, now we have some bestie time. Just you and me."

"Yeah, what should we do first?" Charles asks making her hum in thought.

"Ice cream?"

Charles grins nodding and gesturing for them to leave and head to their favourite ice cream place.

"Oooh...actually can we go to your place for a movie night? I miss our sleepovers." Y/n pouts though the two have only had 2 sleepovers. One of which was a result of her being too lazy to walk any further from a club and Charles' apartment was the first one she could get herself to. The second time she'd got a tooth taken out and Charles offered to be the person who took her home and kept an eye on her to make sure she didn't chew her tongue off.

"You can always come for a sleepover." Charles smiles earning a grin before they get to his car, her holding the ice creams while he drives around.

Y/n is so innocent and gullible that when they get to his place and the thought dawns on him of the potential opportunity. He decides it's a now or never chance.

Arthur is over in Italy for some stuff for Ferrari for the better part of a week.

Charles ends up getting y/n pretty drunk, thankfully with little to no encouragement needed because she doesn't have the concern of alcohols negative effects on her life because she's not a race drive who ever has to be concerned about it.

"Do you really love Arthur?" Charles asks, taking the opportunity of asking while she's too drunk to remember.

"I love him so much, he's...so perfect-and I have you to thank, you-you are the second best. I have to give the best title to your brother. But we both owe you." Y/n smiles lazily, poking a finger at him before she sighs and leans back, sinking into the sofa. "I could get your a girlfriend if you'd let me."

"I'm not interested in anyone you want to set me up with, y/n." Charles states shaking his head earning a pout.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to be set up with anyone."

"Mmm...I don't know if I believe you." Y/n laughs while picking up her drink to drink more.

After a few more drinks, Charles ends up picking y/n's semi conscious body up and carrying her to his room. She's meant to be sleeping in his guest room but she won't care really.

-

Now it wasn't necessarily the plan. He really didn't intend to have sex with y/n. But when she semi-drunkenly climbed on top of him. Grinding down on him and kissing him in the darkly lit room.

"Y/n." Charles groans feeling fairly grateful that him and Arthur sound identical when they speak because really he knows she doesn't realise it's him.

"I need you, baby. I need you now." Y/n whines grinding down on him desperately.

And who is Charles to deprive her of what she needs?

"I'll take care of you." He states rolling them overly and while he'd like to waste time with foreplay, he can't risk any time.

The feeling of sliding into her feels like he's transcended into another realm and the moan that falls from her lips only makes him feel like this has to be a dream. But no dream ever feels this glorious.

Her scrambling for grip and pulling him closer, her moany breaths directly in his ear making her lose all control. He's like a man possessed and the moment she orgasms, sucking him in deeper like she's just begging for his cum, he can't hold it.

In fact he doesn't think he's ever came and felt like he's completely emptied himself into a woman like this before. He's certain he has to spend the rest of his life in this woman if he can and if it can't be a constant than it has to be as often as possible.

He rolls them so she's on top and he's still planting deep inside her, slowly softening but not wanting to lose the warmth of her surrounding him.

She places one last kiss on his lips before nuzzling into his neck, then she falls asleep. Growing heavier on top of him as she does so.

-

Y/n smiles waking up feeling the body underneath her, skin almost stuck together between their bodies and the unfamiliar feeling of waking up to something already semi-hard (seemingly growing hard by the second) seated firmly in her pussy making her hum as she eases from the depth of sleep. T

"Good mor-Charles?!" Y/n squeals, sitting up and hissing at the feeling of his dick poking very much deeper in her tummy from the angle. Even worse there's a wet stickiness which makes her stomach lurch.

After a moment of being frozen in that position she finally screams scrambling off of him and throwing the blanket onto him as she tries to grab for something to cover herself.

"What-What did you do?" Y/n hiccups making Charles sit up carefully looking almost unrecognisable with his cool persona, completely unbothered about what's happening.

"You climbed on me, y/n." Charles states simply while she shakes her head.

"No-I-I was drunk-and you should've stopped me! I love your brother-Arthur loves me. How could you?" Y/n hiccups as tears begin to appear. "I thought you were Arthur."

"You knew he wasn't here."

"I-"

"You just did what you wanted all along. I've seen the way you've looked at me."

"No." Y/n frowns not wanting to hear the lies. "No-I have to go."

Y/n tries to turn but almost in unnatural speed, Charles appears at the door. Slamming it as soon as she tries to get out.

"You're not going anywhere." Charles states with an expression dark enough to send chills down her back. "You're staying here until you will do what I say."

Y/n's lip quivers, eyes trying to blink back tears.

"You're not going to let me go?" Y/n whispers making his expression soften as he moves forward and cups her face with one hand, wavering slightly when she flinches under his touch.

"We're best friends and I know that you love me more than you ever tricked yourself into loving Arthur. He'll understand."

He won't. But he won't have a choice but to accept it. Quite similar to y/n.

"You're crazy-I will never love you." Y/n glares pushing him back.

"You'll change your mind." Charles shrugs as she steps back till her back hits the wall and she slides down.

-

Y/n wouldn't eat and even tried to avoid sleep, but eventually after 38 hours the lack of sustenance and sleep deprivation caught up to her.

When she wakes up Charles appears with some food that she glares at as if both him and the food are her enemy.

"Not eating isn't hurting anyone but you." Charles comments with a sigh as he sits down on the bed. "You know, that door hasn't been locked. You've made no attempt to leave. If you really loved Arthur and hated me, you'd have left by now-or at least tried."

Y/n swallows thickly, her whole body feeling so heavy with the dread of the fact he's right.

"You know I think you realised how much more you enjoy me than Arthur...We were always meant to get together. I think you were just scared I'd say no so you settled for Arthur." Charles states, not feeling right saying such things about his brother but he'd say whatever he needs to in order to force y/n to love him. "Actually I should call Arthur. Tell him that you cheated on him-"

"No!" Y/n gasps as Charles gets his phone out.

"No? Well he has to find out some way."

"I'll tell him."

"Can I trust you?" Charles questions making her swallow lip trembling as she nods. "Look at me."

Y/n tears her gaze up to look at him.

"I'll tell him the truth."

"And that is?"

"That I cheated on him with you when he left...and that I'm sorry."

Charles knows that trusting her is a risk but she looks sincere and y/n has physical tells when she lies. Which means even if she feels like she's lying while she talks to Arthur, he can't see them and Charles isn't even certain anyone else knows her tells.

He actually gives her her own phone making her realise that he's been replying to texts and messages all pretending to be her. But really she knew that had happened.

"Hey, baby. I was beginning to wonder if you were avoiding me." Arthur laughs as she puts him on speaker and out of genuine emotion, she sniffles. "Baby? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." Y/n chokes out taking in a jagged breath. "I cheated on you with Charles...and I'm sorry...I just...I don't know what else to say."

"You cheated on me with my brother. When? Why?"

Y/n looks at Charles who shows no remorse as he smiles at her.

"Because...it's always been him. I thought I could settle for you, but...I love Charles." Y/n states, the words bitter on her tongue. "I'm sorry."

The call cuts from Arthur's side, proving he hung up. Or possibly threw his phone and damaged it.

Y/n places her phone down throwing it away from herself before she curls up.

"I hope you're happy." Y/n spits making him smirk.

"I think we both know I am." Charles shrugs earning a grumble before she lies down but he sits beside her. "We have a long and happy future together. Just accept it and you'll realise how happy you can be."

He leans down kissing the side of her face.

-

Travelling with Charles out to the next race was an easy way to avoid the potential of running into Arthur now he's back. Not that y/n believes Charles would've allowed her out of his apartment. But even that held a risk of Arthur going there.

The whole paddock and online F1 community was in shock. Seeing y/n appear in the paddock with her supposed boyfriend's older brother.

They'd also noticed how sad and withdrawn she appears. But aside from not quite being able to make her face force a smile, she plays the part of his girlfriend well with Charles. Kisses, accepting of every touch and actually beginning to find herself being quite affectionate.

Out of public sight in the hotel is a different game entirely.

Charles knowing she's off birth control means that she's at his mercy of pregnancy. She's also learned he's not quite a vanilla as his favourite ice cream flavour would suggest, which is how she finds herself tied in ropes to the hotel bed frame as he thrusts in and out of her.

"Ah mon amour, you always feel so good." Charles groans brutalising her cervix and playing with her clit that is so overused that one touch feels like she's about to orgasm.

She hates to admit that of the brothers, who she shouldn't compare but can't help it, Charles is certainly more well endowed and seems to know how to make every touch feel like a blaze of pleasure rushing through her every nerve-ending. But he especially seems to enjoy using her clit like a button to set her off explosively.

Pumping another load into her and pushing himself beyond her capacity does make her wince a little. He's also bigger than Arthur was and whenever she's filled with his cum, only midway through his own orgasm, he's got a hand pressed to her tummy only intensifying the pleasure coursing through her.

By the time he pulls out she feels like he's pushed his cum deep enough that there's no chance that some of it isn't just in there forever.

"I should just leave you here like this. So I can come back whenever I am free and just so it all again." Charles comments running his finger over the ropes keeping her legs up and spread. He pushes his fingers down poking the cum back into her that's leaked out before placing it up onto her tongue for her to suck off the residue. "You're so perfect."

Y/n doesn't say anything as she looks at him, just swallowing the salty residue before he shifts forward to kiss her pausing before it does so.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Y/n whispers before he kisses her, something she returns the action of.

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x y/n #cl16 #cl16 fic #cl16 x reader #cl16 imagine #cl16 x you #cl16 one shot #cl16 x y/n #cl16 fanfic #cl16 smut #forza ferrari #ferrari #ferrari f1 #scuderia ferrari #charles leclerc 16 #dark!charles leclerc #dark charles leclerc #dark!f1 #dark f1

[savingcrxws]

EYES ON FIRE | maybe someday

[ prev chap ] [ next chap ]

synopsis. you and carmen just keep bumping into each other.

word count. 4.3k (gah damn)

warnings. language, hardly proofread again i'm sorry its an addiction

authors note. thank u guys so much for the support in these previous chapters! it’s really amazing to me that u guys enjoyed it so much! i would recommend listening to maybe someday by the cure for this chapter!

“Yeah, Sugar. The appointment is booked for Thursday, the reps will probably be coming in at like…three o’clock,” you mutter, flipping through the manila folder absolutely stuffed with documents and sticky notes. 

You pursue your lips at all you had to get done within this week alone–sign installation permit, permit to replace the hot water heater, permit to fix the ventilation systems, reapply for occupancy capacity signs because of the restaurants lack of other permits, and holy shit…

You completely forgot to schedule the follow-up appointment with the BACP consultant. 

You groan, slamming the thick folder into your forehead, the papers thwacking against your skull. Natalie sounds startled on the other end of the phone, no doubt hearing the sound on her end of the call. She questions if you’re okay, and you only respond with a gentle hum before tossing the folder back down on the office table. 

“Hey, Suge, do you think I can call you back later? I need to schedule a follow-up consultation with Raquel before another rep hops on my ass about the boiler replacement.” 

“Of course, hun, call me back whenever you can,” Sugar starts and you can hear some papers flicking in her side of the call as well.

You had managed to convince her to work from home more often, worried that all the stress from the demolition inside would affect her pregnancy and her overall wellbeing. After some back and forth, she had begrudgingly agreed to spend two days working on the project from the comfort of her own couch. 

And even though she complains still, you know she appreciates she has a little bit more time off of her feet. 

“Don’t work yourself too hard, okay, Bug?” 

You nod, even though you know she can’t see you. “Same for you, Bear.” Sugar hums once again before you both give your goodbyes and end the call. 

You expel all of the air out of your chest in a large puff as you slide down the office chair.

After signing onto Team Bear, your new home-away-from-home had been this tiny office in the back of the restaurant. For the most part, no one came in and disrupted your work, which allowed you to have your head shoved into piles of paperwork, be stuck on phone calls, and be forced to reread legal jargon for hours on end with little interruption. 

Well, as little interruption as there could be with the restaurant quite literally falling apart around you. 

Thankfully, everyone was very respectful of your work in helping the developing business. You were practically putting every ounce of knowledge that you learned from both college and the real-world experience (including connections within the industry) to help push the restaurant closer to the deadline. All the while still dealing with your other commitments to other businesses that you had prior to signing on to this project.

Staying at The Bear for eight hours a day had its benefits, though.

For example, there was always something entertaining going on in the background. Like last Tuesday, when Fak had decided to send a sledgehammer directly into the only remaining wall of the office–sending bits and pieces of drywall onto your clothes.

Another benefit of being stuck in that office chair is that you had an excuse to ignore everyone around you. And by everyone, you really mean Carmen.

After the awkward office run-in last week, the two of you hardly spoke to each other. Sure, there was the ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ that you threw to each other and the words you exchanged when you caught him up on the status of licensing, but you two had yet to have an actual conversation.

It was clear that the both of you were still walking on eggshells around each other—and everyone could see it. But you had an inkling feeling that Carmen had been wanting to say something, judging by the short glances you sometimes catch him throwing in your direction.

Kinda similar to the one that he’s giving you right now.

You feel the heat of his stare on your face before you see it. He’d been staring at you for a couple moments now, long enough for you to no longer consider it an inquisitive glance.

You peek up from the folder and make solid eye contact with Carmen through the hole in the wall. The man flushes almost immediately, the red color sinking past his collar. You purse your lips and give a small nod of acknowledgment and he stutters in his spot.

And then he’s turning away.

Like he wasn’t the one just staring at you a moment ago.

You roll your eyes and turn back to your original position in the seat. Picking the folder up again, you flick to the papers listing the requirements for the next fire suppression test.

“Men,” you mutter, before picking up your phone and making a phone call.

Three days later, the office is completely demolished and your work revolving around The Bear has been moved to a family-owned coffee shop two blocks over.

In the short span of time, all of the walls in the store had been busted down and the restaurant had practically turned into a hazardous wasteland. And since construction was too far out of your pay grade, you decided to leave the heavy lifting up to everyone else.

“Alright, permit done!” You throw your hands up in the air, your theatrics catching the attention of a couple next to you. You could hardly care for the stares, though, you had been working on getting that permit for the past four days straight. Slamming your laptop shut, you pack up your bags and head off to the cash register to buy another coffee before you go.

While you wait for your drink, you decide to scroll aimlessly through your phone to kill some time.

“Oh shit,” you hear a voice utter behind you, and you barely have time to process the word before something ice cold is running down your back. “Fuck, I’m fucking sorry, I didn’t even see you—“

You gasp on reflex, taking a step forward and shivering. The person who spilled their drink on you is stuttering out apologies. The liquid seeps into the jacket you were wearing and you pull it off immediately.

“Yo, what the fuck, dude,” you curse, watching the large stain of coffee spread even farther across your jacket. “Watch where the hell you’re walking—”

In the middle of trying to give the perpetrator a piece of your mind, you failed to recognize the familiar sound of the voice that was spewing apology out of apology. But in a second, your eyes met a recognizable set of blue and you halted your words.

In front of you stands Carmen Berzatto. In his signature colored sweater and a half-spilled cup of coffee in his hand.

And he looks petrified.

It seems he didn’t realize just who was the unlucky victim to his americano attack either until you turned around. His mouth agape, he utters out a jumbled apology, glancing back at you, your stained jacket, and the cup in his hand like his brain was still trying to understand what just happened.

“Uh-uh, fuck, sorry, I swear this wasn’t on purpose,” he rambles, placing his cup on the counter behind you and grabbing some napkins right after. He steps back towards you and shoves his hand of napkins to you. “Here, shit, I’m so sorry.”

You sigh, taking the napkins from him, noting the slight tremor that persisted in his hands as you did so. Taking in a slow breath, you close your eyes and count to ten before responding. “It’s okay, Carmen. Don’t worry about it.”

And even though you tried to maintain your peace, you can hear the annoyance seeping out of your words. Carmen glances around the counter before looking back at you and your soaked jacket. You know he probably wants to apologize some more, but honestly, one more apology might land him with a punch to the gut. 

Just as he opens his mouth, you raise your free hand, silencing him immediately. You shake your head in dismissal before taking the napkins offered to you and blotting the coffee out of the fabric of your jacket. Carmen simply stood in his place, watching you, seeing if he could do anything to redeem himself in this situation. 

However, after they called your name for your drink order, you dumped the used napkins in the trash, took your drink and hightailed it out of the café without one more word to the man. 

After the coffee shop incident, you swear that you started to see Carmen everywhere. 

You needed a quiet place to plan outside of your house so you went to one of the local libraries. Guess who’s walking outside the building?

You need a late night snack and decide to hit up the corner store. Guess who’s in the refrigerated section?

Hell, you decide to stay late at The Bear for some last minute checkups? Guess who forgot to grab a few things before leaving that night?

You swear that before you hopped on The Bear train, you never even saw a glimpse of the man. Sure, you lived relatively near the restaurant, but Chicago is fucking huge, there’s no way you would run into one of the few people that you’re trying to avoid. 

Absolutely not, apparently. 

Finally finishing up the weekly budget report and estimate for the following weeks till open, you decide to take a step away from work for a second and give your brain some time to breath. 

“Hey, Syd, if anyone needs me, I’m outside taking a smoke break, ‘kay,” you yell across the restaurant, receiving a thumbs up from her from the other side of the room. “Be back in 15!”

Reaching into your bag, you pull out a pack of cigs and a lighter before heading to the back entrance of the restaurant. You place the cigarette between your lips and head to the backdoor. Stepping out and around the alley to the designated smoke corner, you fiddle with the lighter switch, hearing the light sizzle but seeing no flames emerge. 

You groan, flicking the lighter again and again and still no lig–

“Umm, uh, you need a light?”

You scream, your heart almost skipping a beat and falling out on the concrete below you. In your alarm, both your cigarette and the lighter drop on to the ground. "Shit," you mutter and throw a glance over at whoever had scared the living shit out of you and, surprise suprise . . .

There was Carmen, standing in the alley a few feet away from the door. One leg was kicked up to rest his foot against the wall behind him and a cigarette hung loosely between his fingers. His eyes trailed across you for a second, then he glanced at the cigarette on the ground before taking another draw from his own and staring out the wall in front of him.

If you had half of the energy, you would tell him off for scaring the shit out of you and book it out of the enclosed space.

Lucky for Carmen, however, you really needed that cigarette.

Reaching back into your bag once more, you pull out another cig and walk slowly over to the man. Your steps gain his attention once again and when your eyes met you gestured to the lighter hanging out of his cooking apron.

He grabs the lighter and hands it to you. As you reach out to grab it, your fingers brush against his knuckles. Some quick thought in the back of your head wishes that that physical interaction lasted a little longer, but you're quick to shoo that away into the deep recesses of your mind.

Lighting your cigarette, you hand the lighter back to him before taking a drag. Blowing the smoke out, you slid down the wall until you could lean back into a squat against it.

The two of you just stand there, in complete silence aside from the occasional cough from an improper pull. This quiet isn't nearly as awkward as the first run-in the two of you had. Maybe it's because of the nicotine or maybe it's because continuously running into Carmen over these past days had subconsciously made you a little more comfortable with his presence.

. . .

Nah, it definitely had to be the nicotine.

You glance up at Carmen, who continues to smoke even though his stick had turned into a bud a while ago. You make note of the new tattoos that run down his arms and hands, eyes stopping at the rose flower tattoo on his left hand.

You remember when he got that one done with you at the parlor for his eighteenth birthday.

Subconsciously, you rub at the matching rose on your thigh before sighing and focusing back on your cigarette. Young, dumb decisions, you think.

Above you, Carmen watches your focus retreat back and purses his lips. In all honesty, Carmen usually never finishes a whole cigarette, but he really needed an excuse to stay out here longer with you.

These past couple of days had been tormenting him just as much as it had been you, albeit for different reasons. Everytime Carmen ran into you, whether it be in that cafe or that random grocery store that one early morning, he was plagued with memories of everything that he had fucked up.

Not just the relationship that he had fucked, but the happiness that he had stolen from the both of you.

And he had so desperately been trying to apologize, but every time you saw his face, you would get that look on your own. That dread, the anxiousness, that annoyance. That anger.

Whenever he saw that expression on your face, he would get too choked up to say anything of significance. A simple 'hey" would be all that would leave his mouth. Either that or he would stutter like he was a fucking kid again and embarrass himself in front of you like he seems to be doing constantly lately.

Carmen sighs, taking a final hit from his cigarette before stomping it out on the ground. By all previous experience, Carmen would book it out of the area by now, but something in his gut was telling him to stay this time.

Glancing down at you once more, he sees that you have taken to scrolling through your phone to kill the time. He bites the corner of his lip and decides to sit against the wall like you.

Instinctively, you toss him a questioning glance but when he didn't make any move to speak or gesture towards you, you shook your head and went back to whatever video had popped up on your feed.

Fuck it, he thought.

"I'm sorry."

You halt in the middle of your smoke, nearly coughing on the fumes but managing to swallow it. You look over at Carmen inquisitively, wondering where the hell that apology came from. The dirty blonde was wringing his hands, mouth opening and shutting as if he was trying to get the words out.

"Sorry for the, uh," he mutters, casting a quick glance in your direction to assure himself that you were listening. "Sorry for the, for uh-You know I didn't-I don't know how-"

"Yo, Carmen," you interrupt the world vomit that he was spewing, tossing your cigarette down before snuffing out the light with your shoe. You center your focus back on the man next to you, who seemed to only have you in his attention. "Just say what you want to say. No bullshit."

Your blunt words seem to ground Carmen long enough for him to gather his thoughts. He nods his head rapidly in that way he does when he's clearly overwhelmed before he clears his throat. He takes in a large inhale and clears his throat, ready to speak again.

"I want to apologize. For everything. For how much of an jackoff I was back then, and for how much I am right now," Carmen stars, eyes staring solidly into yours to show just how serious he is. "I didn't deserve you, and you did nothing to deserve the way that we ended."

You feel something burn the back of your throat at the mention of the end of your relationship. The total radio silence from him for the days prior, and just when you had managed to gather the courage to ask the question of just what the hell are we doing, Carmy, you were cast aside like nothing.

He was right, you didn’t deserve that.

Pushing back the feelings bubbling up in your chest, you nod your head to signal that you were listening.

"I-I, it's no excuse, but I was really going through some serious shit. And I really felt that if I cut everyone out of my life, I could actually get a second to breathe you know," Carmen pauses and you open your mouth to speak, but he continues. "I-I just know you deserved-you deserve better. But seeing you in this restaurant day-in and day-out, working away to help my sister, my crew--help me? I just felt even more like a piece of shit."

He turns fully towards you now and you can see his eyes turning red from the emotion he was clearly holding behind his words. "You didn't deserve what I did, and you definitely don't deserve to be cleaning up my messes now."

"You deserved the world, and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you."

His last words send a sharp pang into your chest. Here you two sat, sitting next to each other, the distance between you two seemed to be filled with words unsaid. You stare into his eyes a little longer, at a loss for what to say completely.

On one hand, you wanted to reject his apology, tell him to fuck off and leave him alone in this alleyway. He would deserve it after everything.

But he has that familiar kicked puppy-dog look in his eyes and he's chewed his lip red, and he's actually sorry.

You sigh, leaning your head back to rest against the wall behind you. Staring up at the sky, you trace the shapes of the clouds above as you collect your thoughts.

"Yeah," you start, nodding your head to yourself. Carmen tenses up at the ambiguity behind both your words and your tone. He would have to have his own head shoved up his ass if he didn't realize that you had every right to refuse his plea for forgiveness. Frankly, that's exactly what he was expecting you to do.

"Yeah, okay. I can forgive you, Berzatto."

Carmen's heart sinks into his guts, mouth slightly agape in pure shock. "You-you can?"

You give a small smile, turning your head to face the man. "Yeah, Carmen, I accept your apology."

The dirty blonde opens his mouth again but you put a hand up in the space between you, effectively shutting him up for a second.

"But," you trail, "I'm gonna forward you that dry cleaning bill from that cafe, asshat. I've been trying to get that shit out for days now."

Carmen flushes a bright red at the mention of the coffee shop run-in you two had, a broken chuckle leaving his mouth at the obvious teasing tone in your voice. You were joking with him, for the first time in years, you two had managed to glimpse at the level of comfortability that you once shared.

Carmen chuckles again, running a hand through his curls. "Yeah, well, can I raincheck that until after the restaurant starts making money? I'm kinda flat fucking broke right now."

You giggle at the honesty behind his words. "Yeah, I ran those calculations by the way. Have fun being flat broke for at least three months after The Bear opens."

"Shit," Carmen mutters, a grin still on his face.

"Yeah, shit." You nod in his direction before pushing yourself off your crouched position on the ground. "Anyway, I'm gonna head inside to get back on that shit. Fak's fucking electric guy keeps flaking on us."

Carmen's eyes follow your form as you stand, holding eye contact with you when you glance back down at him. "Yeah, yeah, I should probably meet up with Syd for the chaos menu anyway."

He hurriedly stands up, wiping his hands on his work pants. After he finishes, he looks at you once again, noting the small smile on your face. For a second, he swears his heart skips a beat.

"For the record, Carmy," you play with the nickname on your tongue, having not said it in quite some time. Carmen flushes before nodding for you to continue. The small on your face falls for a second as you look at him. "You pull that shit with me again, I'm sicking the dogs on your ass. Seriously."

Carmen clears his throat, straightening up at the more serious tone of your voice. Although you were not nearly as angry looking at him as before, he knew that you were serious. There were no more apologies after this, no more fuckups.

You look at him expectantly, waiting for some form of acknowledgment.

He nods. "Yes, chef."

After the conversation outside The Bear, you and Carmen seemed to flow together much easier than before. Granted there was the occasional stray glance casted in your direction from the man, but overall, the two of you were on much more agreeable terms.

The rest of the crew seemed to notice the absence of uncertain tension between the two of you. You explained to Tina, Richie, and Sugar that you two had simply talked it out and were no longer on "spiteful ex" terms.

Richie, being the annoying man that he is, insisted that something else must've happened--to which you responded with a firm shoulder check and yet another middle finger.

Overall, the two of you seemed to only talk about business stuff, which made it easier for conversations to flow. Less personal, more concrete talks.

"Alright, Carmy, we got that certificate of occupancy, right?" You question, running down the legal checklist once again. When you heard no response, you asked again, only to be ignored again. Finally looking up from your screen, you glance up at the man, trying to figure out what could have possibly distracted him this time.

He's glancing, moreso glaring, down at his phone, watching it ring but making no moves to pick it up. He's spaced out almost, like he's lost in his thoughts.

You clear your throat and decide to try his name again. "Carmen!"

He shoots up a little and looks at you, muttering an apology out as he clicks his phone off and slides it into his back pocket. "What were you asking?"

"Umm, I was trying to see if you got that certificate of occupancy from Cicero mailed in," you raise an eyebrow at him. "You know, the one we need to get that other big, shiny certificate that shows that we can legal conduct business in the state of Illinois? That certificate?"

"Uhh, yeah, yeah. Mailed it in the other day, yeah."

You squint at his weird responses before shaking your head and diving back into your work. "Well, on another note, I've been speaking with a liason down at the office and he said we can have our second fire suppression test in two weeks instead of the project four."

Carmen walks up to the foldable chair you were sitting in, peering over your shoulder to look at your screen. He rests his hand against the back of your chair unconsciously and you can feel the heat of his body radiating off of him. You clear your throat and lean forward a little to get some distance between the two of you.

"Who's that going to?" The man points to an email that you are in the middle of drafting. Your eyes follow and land on the email you were writing to one of your school buddies. "Oh that? I'm just messaging one of my old classmates from college about an idea I had about our issues with that retail food license thing."

Carmen humms, peeking down at you as you explained the process you were thinking of going through. Though your eyes were stuck on the screen, clicking through different documents as you continued your explanation, Carmen's eyes were glued to your face.

To him, this all felt like some weird dream that he was having. His former high school sweetheart, sitting in his restaurant, talking all kinds of smart talk that he could barely understand, practically pressed against him. Although he didn't move over to your chair with the intent to press against you, he definitely noticed the proximity that you two shared.

Life had been a whirlwind these past weeks, but he felt that when he was near you that a lot of those anxieties he often has screaming in his head quieted down a little. He tried to chalk it up to the confidence that he had in your skills, but even though you are incredibly talented in your work, he knew that it was something more than that.

Something that he had to swallow down.

"Carmy, you motherfucker, are you even listening to me?" You call out, turning more in your chair and fixing him with an annoyed glare. Carmen swallows before nodding his head. "Ye-yeah, you have a plan to get that retail food license and alcohol seller's license at once right?"

You hum, giving him a once over again before turning in your seat. "Exactly. I think that my buddy Stephen can help us with that fire suppression test, he knows a thing or two--"

Carmen's eyes trace down your eyes, nose, and lips, noting the signature bite marks you left on your bottom one. He runs a tongue across his own before carding a hand through his hair to collect himself.

He was so fucked.

taglist: @grippleback-galaxy @chatitajens @rooster-bradshaws @hrrysweetcherry @whoreforbucky @notsochillnerd @jackierose902109 @how2besalty @rosewine-5 @honeybug-victoria @beansap @sincerelyrab @xxconfettiitsaparade @softsy @imafatassmess @bibliophilewednesday @chanluuvr

if you would like to be added to/removed from the taglist, just tell me below! thank you so much for reading!

*if ur @ is striked thru, tumblrs being a pain and not letting tag, imma keep trying tho!!

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto fanfic #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear x reader #the bear season 2 #jeremy allen white x reader #jeremy allen white #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fanfic

[tiyoin]

pt. 1 | 📍pt.2 | pt. 3

hmmm

i like to think that the other yuu (y/n) would also somehow befriend kalim

like- listen.

maybe they’re wandering around campus while everyone is in class. they were skipping, yet again, because of their anxiety. yuu gave them the advice of walking around the school while everyone was in class so you could get to know the school on your terms.

so you here you were, roaming around the outside portion of school, forcing yourself to walk slowly and take in your surroundings. each footstep followed the pattern of black and white tiles; left white, right black. if your toe went over the black tile your other toe would have to match. if your foot skidded on the tile, your other foot would have to follow in suit.

it was an old habit you had in your old world. you never knew what possessed you to do it, but you couldn’t stop once you started.

‘tsking’ at the fact that half your foot went over the white diamond, you were preparing to have your other foot follow suit when you felt a sharp jab in between your shoulder blades

“AGHH” you cried out in pain as you tripped over your feet. with the short time you had, you braced yourself onto your side, where the side of your arm took most of the impact. letting out a shaky breath at the pain, you felt tears escape as you kept your head down looking towards the floor.

fuck. what luck huh.

first the scene in crewels class last week, now this???

the universe is really trying to humble you

there was a crushing weight on top of you that kept pushing your side into the floor. you were debating rolling on your back to cradle your arm, but you didn’t want to cause you and the boy to shift positions…

your face started heating up. just at the thought of anyone seeing you like this made your tummy clench. you can imagine it, the bell ringing, indicating the end of class. all the boys in the classrooms would thunder like wildebeests into the hallway, only to see you pinned to the floor by the mystery man.

oh could you could just kill yo-

“ughh- oh sevens! ae you okay?”

the voice cried out from above you, immediately getting off of you. your relieved sigh from the weight being taken away was short lived as you were yanked by your wrist upwards.

you gasped, pain shooting through your ankle as you toppled into the strangers strangely strong arms.

his skin was tanner with white swirls and patterns running up his muscles arms- no stay focused. your ankle? probably broke-

“hello? anyone home? i oh no, i hope you didn’t hit your head, ahh im so sorry, let’s get you to the nurse!!”

a soft hand found your shoulder as he set you upright, and there you were forced to meet you assailant.

of course you knew who kalim al-asim was. you’d hear him from classrooms away, and jamil too, the latter usually chasing after the former.

“huh, that’s weird, i’ve never seen you before” he tilted his head in confusion, a split second later his face lit up like a thousand christmas lights as he connected dots.

“oh! you must be a new transfer student!

(i said he connected dots, i never said he connected the right ones)

i’m kalim al-asim! im the housewarden of scarabia! and you are…”

he looked at you expectingly, his scarlet eyes honing in on yours. you would’ve thought he was trying to peek into your soul if it weren’t for the ever growing smile on his face.

“uh… y/n” you didn’t have the heart to tell him you weren’t new.

you shifted uncomfortably, eyes flicking to his crest as you fiddled with your hands behind your back. despite your nervous deposition your mind was racing.

what if he was there to bully yiu?

if you kept pressure off your foot then just maybe it won’t be black and blue and swollen like a pufferfish.

oh god what if a camera crew jumps out from behind the corner telling you you just got fucked

oh god what if the entire school is in on it-

“hey, you okay there?”

snapping your head up, you met kalim’s worried expression. his eyes no longer like that of a predator’s stalking its prey, but of someone who was genuinely worried about you.

was this the leap of faith yuu was talking about?

1,2,3 fuck it

“uh, no actually” fuck you wanted to run. yet like an anchor at the bottom of the sea, your foot stopped you from setting sail. you were stuck in your own situation.

“oh sevens, i knew it! here i’ll take you to the nurse!”

“OW”

you yelled when his hand tugged you in the opposite direction. you thought he got burnt by how fast his hand detached itself from yours.

“sorry” you mumbled, rubbing your brushing arm firmly. you weren’t sure why, but a little pressure made it not hurt so much- you winced, rubbing motions stopping immediately as you cursed yourself mentally.

“there’s no no reason to apologize, at the most i should be the one saying sorry, you did get hurt by me after all” his face shifted to a guilty one as he eyed your ankle, then your arm, and back to your face.

you sighed, running your free hand through your hair as you let out an exasperated sigh. “how about this, we call it even if you can take me to the nurses” you pointed to your ankle “think i sprained it” you mumbled out once you realized you were ordering THE house warden of scarabia around.

you were gonna get snipped, weren’t you?

bye bye y/n! died before they could live!

“nonesense!” he shouted, causing you to flinch slightly at the closeness and loudness. he let out a small sorry as he smiled sheepishly “i knocked into you while riding this guy” he pointed behind him as his expression quickly grew to one of amazement.

“oh! you haven’t seen my magic carpet! he’s-“

“not behind you” you muttered, peeking behind him left and right. and yet, there was only him and you in the deserted hallway.

(you checked behind you as well just to confirm your claim.)

“WHAT” kalim shouted, again. this time not apologizing as he was too busy freaking out about his lost carpet.

“jamil’s gonna kill me” he whined.

“if you want i could help look” you pressed your nails into your fists as you asked. boy were you talkative today!

“nah, you’d only be dead weight with that ankle of yours, don’t worry about it!”

… this is why you don’t talk…

“oh! how about this, when i find it i’ll let you ride it so you can go to the nurses office!”

…you were getting dizzy, first he calls you dead weight now he’s offering to ‘carry’… carrying? said weight on his so called carpet.

you couldn’t keep up with him.

nodding dumbly, you hobbled to the door side of the corridor as kalim jumped through the hole that acted as a window that outlooks the courtyard.

searching high and low, you couldn’t help but laugh as you watched the heir turn into an acrobat as he climbed trees, jumped over rocks and somehow managed to climb on top of the gazebo’s roof.

“don’t fall! i don’t want us to having matching ankles!” you mused, laughing lightly as he turned to you, waved, almost fell off, and flailed to get his balance back all in the span of 10 seconds.

a few minutes passed when you heard him yell out. prying your attention from your nails, you were face to face kalim.

“shit!” you flinched as kalim almost ran into you a second time. although he tried to keep it hidden behind his back, the large carpet peeked over his shoulder at you, before folding in on itself.

“this is my friend, y/n! c’mon don’t be shy buddy. they’re shy just like you, see?” kalim encouraged the carpet from behind his back. yet every-time he tried facing it, the carpet would stay glued to his back until they started playing an intense game of “peek-a-boo”

laughing at their antics, the carpet unfolded its wings and with a flap, it flew into the sky, effectively knocking kalim over and onto his butt.

“HAHAHSHAH” you threw your head back as you slapped your good leg’s knee.

what felt like a few seconds must’ve been a few minutes of you laughing none stop that you didn’t even notice the two in front of you.

calming down from your ab inducing fit of laughter, you started fanning yourself as you had a nasty habit of blushing when you laughed. your eyes were closed in concentration as you let the last of it out of your system.

“boy you guys are sure a riot, lord i can’t remember laughing that hard in a long time- what”

kalim, with his ass still on the floor was just staring at you. you didn’t dare name the emotion as you tensed up again.

“i’m sorry for laughing-“

springing up like a rocket, he celebrated with his carpet. what the fuck.

“there you go! no longer doom and gloom! you should laugh more! “

extending a hand to you, he grinned, his face flushed and breathing slightly erratic that the normal eye wouldn’t have been able to spot it. yet you did, you always did.

you looked at his hand for a moment, then to his face, then to his hand, which he opened a bit more towards you to get you to take it.

what felt like a pause in time was probably more of a minute as you just looked between the two.

“fuck” you growled out lowly, closing your eyes as you thrusted your hand into his. you kept your eyes shut as he yanked you up to the point your feet touched off the ground.

bracing for another hard impact, you were met with the soft, fuzzy fabric of the carpet.

“oh” you said lightly, ungracefully fixing your positioned to where your good leg was extended and your bad ankle was resting over your good leg. your arms keeping you up right.

“neat huh” you looked at kalim as the front carpet dipped a bit to let him on. he sat in front of you as he shifted his position to face you.

“do you mind” he looked at your ankle as the carpet started flowing. too impressed with that fact that you’re on a giant fucking carpet, you shook your head no.

the light touch onto your sore ankle caused a hiss to escape you as your head snapped towards an apologetic kalim.

he wasn’t sorry for too long as he kept softly poking your ankle, before he dramatically sighed. shaking his head, he said “yep, it’s sprained alright.”

groaning, you leaned back in annoyance. but with the lack of personal awareness made you forget that this is in fact not! a car.

so down you went. your world turning upside down as you felt your legs lift. and soon enough you would nose dive into the concrete.

welp this was it ladies and gentlemen. you’ve had a god run.

our father who art in heaven-

a hand lashed out and gripped your arms before pulling you back up. where you were met, once again, face to face with the al-asim heir.

breathing heavily, you stared at him wide-eyed through the tresses of your hair.

“not gonna lie, i thought you were gonna let me fall” you joked, gulping as you looked behind you at your almost murder scene.

pushing down the sudden dread, you looked back to kalim who wore an almost serious expression

“only a fool would drop a girl like you”

he smiled slightly, cheeks growing in hue as he looked away from you shyly. his back was now towards you as he told the carpet where to go.

the complete one-eighty left you gagged as you you just stared at him, gob-smacked that he had the AUDACITY to use that moment to quote a meme.

shaking your head slightly, you looked behind you as you extended your arms back, hands trailing through the carpet. stopping once you thought it was a suitable distance from the edge. leaning back, you enjoyed the ride

—

i was gonna write this sooner but i had to finish my assignment el oh el

i love this y/n sm🫶

y/n is actually me

yes i did that on purpose

#hope y’all realize the carpet could’ve saved y/n #tiyoin 🔎 #twisted anxiety 🌀 #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst kalim #kalim al asim #kalim x reader #scarabia x reader #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst x reader

[mammonieruless]

OLDER BROTHERS’ PAST RELATIONSHIP HCS

Lucifer: 100% a virgin

I’ve seen many people agree on him being incredibly experienced when it comes to hookup culture, but I headcanon him to be quite the opposite. He is the avatar of pride himself; he would be wayyyyyy too prideful to offer himself as an one-night stand, no matter who the person might be. there will be exceptions when it comes to Diavolo, of course. He has never been in a serious relationship either; the man has no experience whatsoever. Aside from never having the time to pursue someone and build a connection with them because of his duties, he would be wayyyyy too scared and worried about bringing someone home only for them to harm his beloved brothers or his reputation. Mammon might be MC’s "first,” but MC is definitely Lucifer’s first. It is a match made in hell. All mc had to do was to live with him and his brothers for the entirety of the exchange program, which meant he didn’t have to go out of his way to make time to meet someone, and with time, they both grew on each other, the chemistry grew, and naturally, a strong connection formed without him ever needing to force any of it.

Mammon: He has done everything for quick cash, including sleeping with every living being that could hand him money. Even when cash is not involved, it is canon that he is a model and a party monster, so easy quick club, casino hookups are not a shocker. Out of all the brothers, him and Levi are the only ones who are the most experienced when it comes to serious relationships. Since he wears his heart on his sleeve, all the serious relationships he’s been in ended badly because his partners took advantage of him. Satan, in season one, commented that if Mammon likes someone enough, they will be showered with the richest, but if he breaks it off, then they will be left without a single penny. Knowing that many, especially his exes, only had money hearts in their eyes when they looked at Mammon, despite him pouring his heart out to them, they only viewed him as an ATM. I also headcanon that his tsundere behaviour wasn’t always there; he just started to act like that because many of his exes laughed behind his back, calling him easy, naive, and easy to trick into falling in love, thus leading him to develop this tsundere-like behaviour towards the person he likes to come off as cold, hard to get, and not easy to fool. Though he fails at acting cold and harsh towards MC, he doesn’t act all shy, blushy, or tsundere-like towards his hookups. As he doesn’t feel anything towards them, they only see a very confident, arrogant, bad boy side of him, which MC doesn’t know about.

Levi: Since he is a big anime nerd, he has high standards when it comes to dating and completely rejects hookup culture. All the romance anime he watches really set the bar high for him and makes him somewhat delusional. He has only been in a couple of serious relationships, which were all online, but unlike Mammon, some of his past lovers truly loved him for who he is but didn’t love him enough to keep up with his jealousy and his need to be reassured 24/7. Some might’ve seen him as an easy ticket to get up there in devildom’s hierarchy and get their status high up, as the seven demon brothers are hell’s government officials. + he’s literally the grand admiral of hell’s navy, man’s loaded. His insecurities, shyness, and introversion aren’t the main reason why he is in denial of someone enjoying his company or having any romantic feelings for him, but his experiences in relationships made him push away everyone and anyone who showed him any interest. We see this a lot when he friendzones or tries to find a ground where things are more platonic than romantic with the MC, despite being completely whipped for them, he is simply is terrified of them getting annoyed with his constant need of reassurance or getting into a relationship with them only for his jealousy to be too much for them to handle which would make them leave him and he would lose his only best friend, yet again.

#obey me headcanons #obey me romance #obey me Lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me Levi #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me mc #obey me hcs #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me Satan #obey me nightbringer #obey me Diavolo #obey me romantic #obey me fluff #obey me smut

[gatitties]

Web of love

─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)

─Summary: forced to abandon your family and being spit out into a world of curses where everyone seems to gravitate towards you

─Warnings: a little angst¿ obsession, toxic behaviors, yandere stuff

Part Two / Part Three / Part Four

The blank pages: Part One

ok I had a burst of inspiration and I needed to write also need more platonic yanderes for jjk 😔 (I'll probably write another part because I left out many characters and villains… 😈)

SOMETIMES you think that you had to do something very terrible in your old life, something unforgivable and unimaginable to be punished right now, sometimes you think that the easiest thing would be to bang your head against the wall until you are stupid enough to have a caregiver and stop worrying about many things.

You just wanted to help your parents with the family business, being a time of high demand in the hostelry sector, taking advantage of your school holidays, you loved your family very much and helping in the business was the least you could do.

But the moment a group of children come in screaming excitedly and running from one side to the other you lost your nerve, yes, they are kids celebrating a birthday, but so much activity, noise and annoyance made a vein swell on your forehead, you were reaching the limit, but at least there were only a couple of hours left to be able to close and surreptitiously remove the last people with brooms.

You swore you were losing years and hair, that the minutes passed slower and slower as if you were stuck in an endless hour.

"I think if you keep squeezing the tray like that you'll break it, honey."

Your mother squeezed your shoulder, you turned to look at her, she was behind the bar, cleaning with a cloth while she glanced at you from time to time, she certainly knew how to detect when you were losing your temper, after all she saw you have many crises nervous before.

"Sorry, you know I can't stand so much movement and annoying noises, it's exhausting."

"Oh, I think you can go home if you want, you've done enough for today miss."

A new voice joined in, your father made way with a couple of plates, he left them on the bar to place his hands on your shoulders and rub circles on them, calming you with his touch, you smiled in agreement, your mood improving as you heard that you can go home once and for all, they wouldn't have much work at this hour.

"Don't forget the jacket love, it's already night and it's cold outside!"

"I know mom, bye, love you two!"

You shouted as you were already walking through the door, you waved to both of them before walking out onto the lonely streets, luckily your house wasn't too far from the family business. Without wasting time you grabbed your faithful life companions, your headphones, connecting them to your phone to listen to music at a ridiculously high volume. You let music be your final destination, if you ever suffer an accident, at least it'll be listen to something you like.

Moving your head slightly to the rhythm of the sound, looking at the ground as your legs moved on their own, knowing the way back by heart, you concentrated on drowning out the thoughts leaving your mind blank, it wasn't very difficult since you barely had enough active neurons at this time to have too deep thoughts.

"Huh?"

Some mist came out of your mouth when you felt something tiny cling to your leg, confused, you looked down with a blank look and an imperturbable face, you saw like a kind of fairy-bug, a strange thing was sticking to your leg, looking at you with eyes of a kicked dog. Oh yeah, you started seeing these kinds of creatures, monsters, whatever they are, a couple of months ago when you decided to walk into a 'witchcraft' shop just because a bracelet seemed cute to you.

When you wanted to question the old woman who sold it to you ─after checking that you hadn't spent too much time on the Internet to be hallucinating─ she was no longer there, as if she had disappeared from the face of the earth, no one seemed to remember her except of you.

You grimaced, holding the little thing carefully, pushing it away from you as if you had just taken unidentified food out of the sink after having washed the dishes, without hesitation you threw it like it was a snot, you didn't even hear the squeal that came from it as it crashed to the ground because you hadn't turned the music down.

You continued your path, ignoring how more of those monsters began to appear, larger ones, with more or less human shapes, you didn't know if you had reached the point of emotional exhaustion that you no longer cared about those things, or you were so desensitized to certain things that you barely changed your expression.

"Help… help please… my son- oh- it burns…"

Your feet stopped suddenly, almost falling face first to the ground as you felt one of those monsters cling to your arm like an old woman crossing the street with a helper, looking at you with tears flowing down her cheeks, murmuring things you wouldn't understand if you weren't able to read lips, her hand went higher and higher, absorbing your body in a kind of wrestling-like lock-hug.

If you could you would pinch the bridge of your nose, you started to struggle with the woman, she started screaming the further you got away from her, you cursed silently when you couldn't get her off. This was it, the only thing that bothered you about seeing strange things was that they clung to you as if you were some kind of helper or salvation, you are not a saint, you are not a savior, you were nobody, but they kept coming to you like bees to pollen.

"Looks like you need some help"

You turned your head slowly, dramatizing the side eye you gave to that familiar voice, you heard by chance because of the song change and the small silence, but you could feel his presence for miles. Your frown deepened as you saw the albino look at you with a smile, oh, not only did you have to deal with these curses on your own, as if that were not enough, being one of the few people capable of perceiving these things certain people became interested in you. Sorcerers, it was funny, you didn't believe in magic until you saw this albino lunatic exorcise a curse in front of your eyes, even though you were somewhat skeptical, you refused to attend his institute, but they kept showing up to persuade.

"No, I can take care of this."

"Aw sure, go ahead then, I want to see how you do it."

This time you didn't listen to shit, but his shit eating smile told you everything you wanted to know, you started to struggle with the cursed woman again, it didn't work until you started talking to her. You found it was easier if you tried to give comforts to the poor cursed souls, and you had to do it reluctantly on these types of occasions, removing your headphones for greater concentration. You were terrible at comforting people, so it was like an uphill climb to get that curse to leave you alone.

"And that was ten minutes, you could have done it in twenty seconds if you knew how to use cursed energy."

"Just get lost, I already said no."

"We are offering you free knowledge, how can you refuse it?"

"Aren't public schools there for that?"

"There are no exorcization courses that I know of."

You rubbed your face desperately, you didn't want to learn sorcery, you didn't want to get in trouble, you didn't want to have to comfort anyone, you wanted your simple life, helping your parents, studying, getting a decent job. What kind of future would guarantee you knowing how to control that cursed energy? Clearly nothing good.

"I'm going to put it another way… you attract cursed energy, until now you have been lucky enough to find desperate souls in search of comfort, but what will happen when something much worse is stalking you? Something that seeks blood, your blood."

"Then I'll die, isn't it obvious?"

You raised your thumb with a sarcastic smile, you were too tired to continue a conversation, unfortunately Gojo's next words resonated in your head like a scratched record.

"What if they were your parents? They will not be safe by your side, as I said you attract bad energies."

A lump formed in your throat, letting a shaky breath escape your lips, he watched in silence as he had managed to hit your weak spot, your family, it was something you wouldn't change for the world, they were people who would die for you without a second thought, and just like them, you would give your life for them, they showered you with love and affection, the least you could do was protect them from your own problems.

As annoying as it was to give Gojo an affirmative answer, you had to swallow your pride for a greater reason, and just a week later you were already making the move. Covered as a kind of “Erasmus”, your parents were happy that you were going to explore and meet friends on your own, you wanted to tell them that you didn't want to go, that they would refuse to allow that decision, but that wasn't the case.

Then began what seemed like torture for you, as if you had fallen into a spider web and the more you struggled, the more you got caught in the webs. It was strange, everyone there seemed to have knowledge about who you were and where you came from while you were completely uninformed, it felt strange to be greeted so warmly by unknown people, inside you it was stressful to receive such a degree of attention, but you kept your expression unfazed.

You were like an extension of Megumi, only less expressive and definitely more stupid, you had no thoughts beyond your lost eyes staring into space, nothing made you flinch, nothing made you laugh, nothing made you have a hint of emotion that wasn't nervousness or tiredness. And yet the three first-year students, your classmates, could hear how you tried to drown out your nightly sobs, longing for your home and your family, how you secretly laughed lightly when you saw something stupid on your phone. Why didn't you want to share your emotions with them? Weren't they good enough for you?

You don't know what you triggered by strictly trying not to get emotionally close to people who from one day to the next could be in a grave, just because you couldn't stand it, just because you couldn't stand giving up more parts of your little heart to have them break later.

Itadori started to stick to you like a sticker, are you going for a walk? He needs to stretch his legs, do you want to laze around? He too! He is new to this world of curses like you, so he thinks it is better that you help each other in the face of complications and training. The first time he saw how a curse clung to you for comfort it almost gave him a seizure, he would never think he would be able to exorcise something so quickly, it worried him how used you were to being 'attacked' like that constantly and it only increased his worry, he needed to keep you safe from this dangerous world, it was a promise.

Megumi felt sorry, unlike him you had a normal and happy family, people to turn to, a little envious, he wasn't going to lie, but he tried to make you as comfortable as possible, maybe a little too paranoid about your well-being now that you were a novice unwilling to learn, he felt like he was your big brother, he wasn't going to take an eye off you even for a second, you could get hurt or worse and he had already experienced the bitter feeling.

Nobara was persistent that you open up to her, after all girls should be close, maybe she got too obsessed with that phrase when she watched suspiciously as Itadori dragged you to do something stupid ─against your will but without the energy of to refuse─ and you weren't going with her to have a snack or shopping, she felt a pang in her heart, what if she's not there and something happens? She doesn't trust anyone to take care of you, everyone is inept in her eyes.

Gojo proclaimed himself your fake father, no matter how hard he tried, he would in no way replace the real one, but if he wanted to play the family game you would let him if that made him happy. His attitude was the one that bothered you the most because it made you look like a helpless person at his side, he made you look like you needed him to take care of you. You accepted being the weakest link, but you could fight your own battles, especially after discovering some of your abilities, but he wouldn't allow it, you're too adorable to let go.

After some tests, missions and training, they discovered that your cursed energy acted like an antenna, attracting all curses that wanted to be forgiven or sought freedom. You were cursed with the 'gift' of forgiving and freeing from torture curses that wanted to cease to exist, and you acted as a peacemaker on some occasions. Luck was definitely not on your side or it was kicking you for having laughed at so many other people's sorrows on the internet, couldn't you punch? Kicks? Do voodoo? Summon shikigami? No, you had to pat and release cursed souls.

You didn't have enough suffocating attention from the sorcerers that you also had to have that from the curses. You were going to look for the old woman who cursed you the day you entered her store in another life and you were going to sacrifice her in the name of barbatos.

"Hey there you were! We're going out to dinner, are you coming?"

Nobara opened your door without knocking, you didn't stop looking at the ceiling while you lay motionless in your bed, you shook your head slowly in denial, you weren't in the mood, you were never in the mood.

"Don't talk nonsense, there is no way you can stay here alone, come on, come on! Gojo will pay for everyone."

Itadori entered immediately, pulling your wrist to drag you, you slid off the bed like a dead body, looking blankly at the boy who was giving you a puppy dog look, it wasn't that that made you accept, but if you didn't accept you would pass more time arguing with them in a useless way. You had learned to accept your destiny, you had learned to stay still in that web, maybe if you manage not to move you can free yourself, just maybe.

"I'm glad you decided to accept! It is good to have bonding time with your classmates and teacher, it encourages communication."

You nodded, looking absentmindedly at your phone, scrolling through the screen without looking at anything in particular but not wanting to have to look at the albino's expression, he knew you were going to accept, he knew you were going to go with them because they wouldn't give you any other option. He put his arm around your shoulders dragging you towards the car while he chattered things that went in one ear and out the other.

"Will you sit next to me?"

" No way, she will sit with me!"

And the tug of war began between Itadori and Nobara over who you would sit next to, too stubborn to 'share' if you sat in the middle, they would prefer to be the only ones next to you, Megumi on the other hand was the smartest when entering the first, if he sat in the middle he would assure him that you would sit next to him, however, absorbed in the discussion, they did not notice how you moved towards the passenger seat, end of the discussion and the headache, now you just had to rack your brain thinking about how to solve the fight next to who you would sit at while eating without giving anyone the benefit.

Sometimes you think that you had to do something very terrible in your old life, something unforgivable and unimaginable to be punished right now, sometimes you think that the easiest thing would be to bang your head against the wall until you are stupid enough to have a caregiver and stop worrying about many things, now you had four caregivers but no concussion, for now.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x fem reader #reader inster #platonic reader #jjk x reader #jjk x platonic reader #jujutsu kaisen x platonic reader #yandere platonic #yandere platonic x reader #yandere x reader #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere platonic jujutsu kaisen x reader #sfw #reader insert #yuji itadori #jjk itadori #gojo satoru #nobara kugisaki #megumi fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen various x reader #soft yandere #web of love #web of love jjk

[becomingmina]

Fuckboy Min 3 (ENDING WITH HYUNE) - fluff & smut w/Hyunjin. 18+ only mdni.

{Part 1 here & Part 2 here }

The feeling doesn’t go away, it’s heavy it’s numbing your body. You pull away from Hyunjin’s lips, hands on his chest to help you detach. You can’t keep his eye contact, letting out a heavy breath.

"Hyune, I." you look up over his shoulder and catches Minho eyes as he leans in towards Bella.

Minho stops to observe you, observing your next move. For a second the world stops, everyone's face was blurred, the music goes from blaring loud to a long beep, something you hear when your brain restarts similar to the sound in movies when the main character watches someone close to them die. It was only you and Minho.

And just like the main character watched them died, you did the same with your love for Minho. Everything that had to do with loving Minho was drained from your head as you hold eye contact with him. His eyes carry so many regrets and guilt and you know he was taken back when your eyes flicker back to meet Hyunjin’s.

The feeling that was in your chest has now spread to your whole body. Instead of pushing it away like you always did, you accepted it and a chuckle falls from your lips. You had come to realise it was heart was falling for him the entire time and you have been innocently guarding it, unaware he was making you feel that way.

Hyunjin removed his hands from your waist, watching you converse with your own thoughts, assuming he must've of took it too far with the kiss.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that,” he apologised but you shook your head at him.

You stood on your tip toes, gripping the loose material on his waist to steady yourself and connected your lips onto his again. You were finally in the right head space to perceive his kiss. It was so angelic and tender, it was like your missing puzzle piece. It was making your stomach flip, you’re giggly, you were definitely feeling butterflies the whole time.

Memories with him start to flood your head and can hear his cute giggles ring in your ears. The corner of your lips starts to curl up into the kiss as you think back to the peck you gave him in the car on your first date, causing him to blush. His lips start to move, perfectly melding together with yours now that he feels more confident. His hands comfortably rest around the small of your back as you both block out everyone and everything around you.

“You okay?” He breathlessly questioned, pulling away.

“My heart keeps fluttering around you Hyune,” you admit nervously with a chuckle, breaking eye contact.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

“You want to come back to mine?” He asks and you nod taking his hand.

“Y/N, wait,” you don't know how it happened, but Minho was beside you, gripping your other hand. The way you're holding onto Hyunjin tighter makes him trust you hadn't changed your mind, and so he lets you talk, not that he would ever force you not to anyways.

You turn to Minho and despite the awful and hurtful things he had done to you, it wasn’t in your nature to hate him. Especially when he looks hurt and confused. You’ve been in that position before and it sucks.

“Hyune and I am going to go home now,” you broke the tension, speaking tenderly just like how you always did in the past with the Minho that you liked. And you hate to be impatient, but you only wanted to be with Hyunjin right now so you shut down Minho before he could even get a thought out. “Get home safely, Minho,” you say to him with a small smile.

Minho let’s go of your hand, watching leave with the other man, not turning back once to look at him. Although the other night you made it clear to him you weren’t with Hyunjin, tonight it was clear that you were, and he didn’t even need you to confirm it.

Minho never wanted it to be like this. If only he didn't treat you like that, saying all those cruel things to you or using you to get back at Hyunjin for whatever reason. If only he had told you he liked you back, told you he loved you back, he would have been the man you left this party happily with. He hates himself; he hates that he lost a good girl, that even after all of this after getting her heart broken multiple times that she was still able to treat him well, still wishing he gets home safe. Regrets remain around him as he watches you realise your worth.

When you got inside Hyunjin’s place, he instantly kneels down to help you take off your heels, rubbing your ankle where the strap was irritating you all night. The gesture was so romantic, but you wanted to tease him a bit.

"Don't tell me you have a feet fetish Hyune?" you joked watching him lift his head up at you. The image of him looking up you from his angle made your heartbeat faster. You didn't expect him to look so fine, so sexy like this. You fall into a trail of thoughts of him using those lips on you again, and how he would look hovering over you..

"What if I do? You going to allow me to take pics of them?" He giggles back interrupting your thoughts.

"Maybe," you played along opening a hand out to him to help him up.

"Come," he pulls into his room.

You have been over his house once, early days of your friendship, waiting in his living room as he retrieves a camera part from his room. You have never reached his room, so you didn’t expect all of this. It was neat and organised, lights were dimmed down, plain white sheets with a couple of fluffy pillows, his bed was made so perfectly. It smells like him, so manly but so pure. He had a collection of cameras lined up along his dresser, a couple of canvas of his beautiful artworks hung up on the wall and on his table. His room was kind of romantic if you could find one word for it.

“Your room is so dreamy. Makes me wanna fall asleep,” you compliment, finding your spot at the edge of his bed next to him.

“You’re dreamy,” he cheekily remarks.

“How many girls did you say that to?” you response.

“Only one," you were getting ready the cheesy line coming next. "Some girl in my art class last year, I think her name was Lia?" he teased, catching you by surprise making you frown. “I’m joking, a couple of girls actually,” he laughs.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” you say a little firmly as you eyed him.  

“Only you, Y/N. Promise,” he says watching you soften your gaze.

Silence fills the air as you both hold eye contact. In most situations like this, you and Hyunjin would crack up laughing at the quietness, but this instant was so romantic.

His hand comes to cup your face and shortly after his lips crashed into yours again. It still got your heart pumping like it was the first time. You let him set the pace and he kisses a bit harder now that you’re both alone. It became more desperate and rougher when his swiped his tongue over your lips and into your mouth. He pulls you closer and you desperately pull at his shirt. Quiet moans fall into the kiss as you feel the sensation spread down between your legs. Soon you were on your back with him on-top as his free hand explores your body, resting on the material that was on top of your chest, almost groping your boob. It felt so overwhelming, so good that you feel yourself start to get wet. Hyunjin feels the same; hot and bothered. You feel his erection pressed to your thigh and you both moan that slipped at the contact.

You know what he craves, and you wanted it too, so fucking badly. You wanted to feel his lips down your neck, wanted his big hands groping your flesh, wanted him to fill you up and get rid of the throbbing ache between your thighs but you also wanted to take it slow. It was happening all too fast, and you didn’t know where both your feelings stood. Hyunjin could never hurt you, but you didn’t want to get attached to him too early. What if you start to become possessive like the past? When he directed his kisses to your neck, you figured it was the time to tell him.

“Hyune..” you were panting, hands gripping his shoulder to stop him.

“You don’t want this?” He softly asked feeling bad, immediately stopping and dragging you up with him to sit.

“No, I do!" you protested shaking your head.

“Is everything okay?”

“I just.. Do you like..” he notices your hesitation, eyes wavering unable to look at him. He lets out a gentle scoff at himself, it became clear to him he hadn’t told you about his feelings.

“I like you,” He searches for your hand to hold and you finally look at him. “I really like you Y/N. Like, I want to date you,” he admitted, with pink cheeks.

Your heart raced at his confession, a smile finally pulling on your face.

“You okay?” He asked when you don’t reply.

“I’m okay now,” you nod.

“Sorry I should have told you sooner, I just thought my feelings were clear already baby,” he chuckles. He had never called you that before and it got all the hairs on your body standing.

“I just needed to hear it Hyune,” you replied shyly.

“You’re so cute,” he taps your nose.

“I like you too,” it was your turn to confess and his face lights up brighter, grinning ear to ear. “I want it,” you tug at the material of his shirt bunching by his waist again. “I want to go there,” he knew you were referring to sex. “But is it okay if we take it slow?” you ask a lot more tentative than you proposed.

Hyunjin listens attentively at your words, but he doesn't answer you.

"I really like how you kissed me and I.. I want you to keep kissing me.. Just not further.. Yet,” you clarified with bright red cheeks, a little embarrassed but still hoping he gets the idea. “I ruined it didn’t I-”

"-I love it when you get flustered, baby,” he cuts you off before pecking your cheeks.

Not even a month ago you were crying about Minho, so Hyunjin knows you need some time to adjust. He just wants you to be okay first and if that means getting left high and dry every time he kisses you, he was willing to wait.

“Okay, we will go at your pace," he kisses the back of your hand before pulling you up from his bed.

"How about we wash up and watch a movie?” He tried to direct your attention elsewhere so you're not so embarrassed. You nod in agreement. "Do you want to share the bed Y/N? or is it too much?" Hyunjin took into consideration everything you had just mentioned.

"Yeah.. Where else would you sleep?" you questioned.

"Me?" He points to himself while tipping his head sideways, puzzled. "I was going to sleep in my comfy bed while you take the couch," he laughs.

"Oh." You rolled your eyes at him.

"I'm only kidding. We can share the bed if you want-"

"I want to Hyune," you cut him off with a smile.

"Come, let me show you around," he walks you toward his ensuite, helping you get familiar with where his stuff, showing you where the skin care is kept, where he stores his extra toiletries, everything. You can’t lie, with him being so boyfriend-material and so domestic like this, you could get used to it easily and it got you excited about the future.

“I'll get you some comfortable clothes, so throw all your clothes in the basket,” he says before closing the door behind him.

After you showered, you put on his shirt and shorts he got you and walked back to his bedroom. Hyunjin was sitting on the edge of the bed on his phone patiently waiting in nothing but pants. It was also the first time you’ve seen him topless like this. You gulped, feeling yourself fall into your lewd thoughts again. Take it slow Y/N, quit thinking about Hyunjin like that.

Hyunjin has the same thoughts when he saw you walk him. You were so pretty with your natural blushed cheeks, your glossy lips, drowning in his big t-shirt. It doesn’t help that the material was so thin making his eyes go straight to your perky tits.

“You wanna lie down in bed first? Pick out a movie? I’ll just wash up and be right back,” Hyunjin says, concealing his pervert thoughts, also snapping you out of your own.

“Okay, but come back quick then,” You replied, unable to hide your neediness.

“Why? You gonna miss me? Don’t wanna be away from me longer than 5 minutes?” He teased getting up to close the gap between you. His hands snaked around your waist pulling you close. You’re flustered again at the intimacy.

“No..” you lie. “I’m just scared.. What if someone breaks in? What am I suppose to do? You would have to fight them naked Hyunjin,” you never fail to charm him, causing him to finger flick your forehead as he giggles.

As Hyunjin comes back from his shower you were under the covers on the left side of his bed. His heart melts seeing you on your side, nearly passed out with the tv remote in your hand. He chuckles to himself making you turn your head into his directions.

“No one broke in by the way,” you say as you shuffled about in his bed, making space for him.

“Good, no-one tried to steal you,” he says before turning off the lights and crawling under the blanket next to you. “You look tired, maybe we should just sleep,” Hyunjin notices your disoriented state, grabbing the remote from you before pulling you onto his chest.

“Only a little, but I still want to be around you,” you mumbled, instantly draping your arm across his stomach latching yourself onto him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he says gently, stroking your arm.

Hyunjin soon soothes you to sleep, one hand rubbing your arm and the other massaging your scalp as the movie plays in the background. He stays up a little bit more to admire you. He can’t believe his perfect girl is here in his bed tonight, trying her best to stay awake just to be with him.

You woke up to Hyunjin adjusting the blanket on you, pulling it up to your chin. The sunlight from his window is making it hard to look at each other but you both try your best anyways. You comb the long pieces of hair away from his face before your tiny hand rest on his cheeks.

“Hi,” you say in an airy voice, breaking the silence.

“You slept well?”

“Mhm, what about you?” It was probably one of the best sleep you had. Most definitely because you were in Hyunjin’s bed with him cuddling you.

“I had the sweetest dream,” he returns the favour and moves the loose strands hair from your face to behind your ear. “It was about this sweet girl,” he raised an eyebrow at you and you know what he was talking about.

“What happen?” You played along.

“She told me she likes me. It almost felt real,” he added.

“Hmmm really?” You tenderly say.

“Yes. She clinged onto me the whole night but I think it was just from the alcohol she had last night.”

“I’m sure she would cling onto you even if she was sober.” Your hand travelled down to his waist to prove it to him.

“You think?”

“I know.” You nod moving closer for a cuddle.

“She also told me something else. She told me she likes my kisses and wanted me to keep kissing her,” there was his dorky smile again, his eyes turning into half-moon shapes.

“Mhmm, maybe you should give her what she wants. And keep kissing her,” you hinted, hoping he would get the message.

And of-course he does. He closes the gap between you, his hand tilting your head up. You guys picked up where you guys had left last night. And there it goes again, the tingle going straight to your core. You don’t know what gotten into you but you just feel so much tension this morning, so you pull him onto you as you rolled on your back. Hyunjin hovers on-top of you but he doesn’t position himself fully atop, he knows he can’t help himself if he is slotted between your legs. He was already so hard and he is second guessing if making out was even a good idea so early in the morning. You felt the same, you were already at getting wet downstairs, how embarrassing would it be if he noticed it when you were the one who wanted to go slow.

The room was filled with the wet sounds as you both continue to go at each other’s lips. You guys became desperate teenagers again, slipping hands under each other’s shirt just grazing across your bare stomachs as moans falls from your mouths. Hyunjin’s dominant side makes an appearance as he grasps your wrist pinning them to the side of your head before he pulls away to continue the hot kisses down your neck. You find him extremely hot for that, it flipped a switch.

“Hyune?” You say and he instantly lift his head up from your neck.

“Sorry, you’re just really pretty in the morning I couldn’t help myself.. But slow, we will take it slow,” he breathlessly replied.

“Fuck.. I know I said that, but I’m..” you couldn’t find the words nor look him in the eyes. You needed more; the adrenaline was rushing through out your body.

“Hmm? What is it baby?” He knows where this was going to go but he wanted to tease you a bit.

“You’re making me really horny right now,” you admit, feeling yourself go red, unable to hide yourself as he still has your hands locked by your head. He softly chuckles at your confession.

"So, you’re going back on your words now? My sweet girl," the pet name making your stomach turn as you watch his eyes fills with lust.

“Only because..”

“Because what? Hmm?” You loved every second of his teasing.

“Because I want to show you how sweet I can be,”

“But you did already the day I meet you and in my dream too,” he raises a brow.

"Okay but in bed-wise.. Unless you don’t want it?" you teased him back.

"I do!” He was eager to reply. “I want it so much baby, but are you sure?” He rubs your palm with his thumb, gesture so sweet he was making sure it was alright for you.

“I’m sure Hyune, please,” You consented.

“You want to go all the way or-”

“All the way. I want you..” you practically begged.

“Yeah? Want to show me how sweet you can be in bed?"

"Mhmm,” you move from his grasp to hold him by his shoulders. He takes this moment to finally slot himself in-between your legs.

“Good. Cause you’re making me really horny too,” he attaches his lips to your neck again, this time rolling his hips into yours, letting his clothed erection pressed up against your clothed cunt. You could feel how big he was already; it was almost like there was only a thin layer between your private parts.

"God, you feel so good already Hyune," a moan escaped from your lips, this was all too hot for you.

Hyunjin continues to suck on your neck leaving you marks. He feels himself getting lightheaded rubbing on you like this. He wanted to last a little longer, but he can’t help how fast the blood is travelling down to his dick, he was desperate to cum already.

“Can I.. Need to taste you baby,” he mumbles shuffling back sitting on his heels and tugging at his shorts you were wearing. You comply lifting your hips up as he pulls them.

His eyes widened, letting out an airy chuckle as he sees the shorts go past your mound.

“Heh- god, no panties?” He asked, dick twitching in his own shorts at the sight.

“You told me to toss everything in the basket I-,” you tried to defend yourself. Maybe you should have spent an extra 10 minutes to wash and dry your panties with his hair dryer last night.

“-You listen to me so well sweetheart. Such an obedient girl,” Hyunjin praises you before pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips. You loved this side of him so much so romantic but so dominant. “Baby, I’m not wearing anything under too. Why wonder you drove me crazy,” he bites his bottom lip, pulling down the rest of your shorts and throwing them behind him. “Can’t believe my shorts touched you there before I could,” he banters eyeing your bare pussy.

“You’re so annoying Hyune,” you playfully rolled your eyes at him.

“Here, let me help with your shirt too,” he pulls you up and got rid of your shirt before you take your position again.

Hyunjin smirks to himself like a dummy as he stares at your body, eyes tracing every curve, every mark, everything. You feel a bit shy being bare from the hips down, knees bent on the bed on display for him like this, especially when he is still fully clothed.

“You’re so beautiful. So sexy. I’m so turned on right now,” he says finally pulling his shirt over his head, so you don’t feel so exposed. You desperately try to sit up wanting to touch him, but he pushes you back down on your back, a little bit too hard, surprising you.

“Ow-”

“Sorry!” He laughs. “Let me have a taste first, and then I’m all yours,” he adds, hands opening up your knees wider so he can see your pretty glistening cunt again.

“Okay,” you sided eyed him. “But you owe me though for pushing me back so hard,” you say.

“I’ll let you cum first, how does that sound?” He taunts you.

“Okay fine.” You gave in, happily.

He lied down on his stomach, so his face is now levelled with your cunt. His eyes rolls back as he takes in your sweet scent, his hands gripping your thighs softly to keep you open for him. You whined as his tongue drags through your folds. Your eyes were already rolling back, feeling the tension already building up in your stomach.

“Hyune, more,” you whined, and he continues to make out with your cunt, slurping up your wetness with his tongue, then sucking on your clit.

“You taste so sweet, fuck-” he coos, holding you more roughly as he starts to speed up. Your hands latch onto his hair and you start to grind against his tongue, spilling out that you’re close now. A couple more rubs to your clit from his muscle and you let yourself go, your body shaking as you cum around his mouth. Hyunjin hands comes to hold yours, locking them onto the bed as he licks up the remaining of your juices.

“Sweet heart, you’re so addictive,” Hyunjin sits up on his heels again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You were already fucked beneath him, cheeks red, your shirt exposing your stomach and your under boobs, a thin layer of sweat on forehead and Hyunjin was loving every detail of you like this.

“Hyune?” You say, searching for his hands. “Can I have you now baby?” You asked with big eyes and of course Hyunjin gives in, pulling you up so you’re sat as well.

“How do you want me sweet girl?” he winked to you; the ball was in your court now.

“Want you ontop.. I love how you held my wrist before,” you whisper as your hands tug on his shorts pulling them down his thighs, releasing his cock in the process.

You practically drool at him. He was so long, so thick and pink. You see all the veins and the red tip leaking with pre cum.

“Mm-so hard for you,” he says as he takes his shorts off completely, holding the base of his dick, looking at you.

You gulped replacing his hands with yours. Hyunjin squirmed, lifting his hips a little up when your small hand gripped him.

“Can I have you raw?” you asked impatiently. “Want to feel all of you,” Hyunjin’s dick twitch again but this time at your words, unable to hide his excitement. He pushed you on your back and gets in between your legs again.

“Fuck- you’re so dirty my sweet girl,” he bites his lip before kissing you.

“Only for you Hyune,” you say.

“You’re going to ruin me Y/N.”

Hyunjin lifts up from you again and grabs your wrist pinning them to the side of his head.

“Keep them there, I wanna hold them when I fuck you.” Hyunjin lines himself up to your entrance and slowly pushes in his tip. Your face scrunches up at the stretch. He waits until you’re relaxed before pushing the rest of his length in.

Hyunjin filled you up so perfectly, you were so warm and wet around him. He starts to move his hips slowly not to hurt you. Your moaning encourages him to go faster, and he was confident to go at his pace now with rough and deep thrusts.

“You’re so tight baby, so tiny for me,” he coos, his hands coming back to hold your wrist gently as he continues to thrust into you.

Hyunjin senses you were close evidently by your own hips moving with his, loud slapping sounds where your skin meets with each snap filled the air. His eyes rolls back as he feels you clench around him.

“Mmm- cumming Hyune-,” you whimpered, hiding your face in the pillow.

 His feels his own orgasm reaching, and he grips onto your hand tighter.

“Oh fu- Where can I cum baby?” He grunts in your ear.

“On my pussy,” you feel him twitch at your words and he pulls out instantly gripping his length painting your pussy with his release.

“Love it when you whisper such a sweet things to me baby.” He managed to get out after a few moans, emptying every last drop on you before collapsing on-top of you.

You were ruined, exhausted. A wave of satisfaction washes over you as your hands wrapped around him. Hyunjin presses a kiss in the crook of you neck then quietly smiles to himself. You both stay like his for a little bit, catching your breath.

You feel him get up from the bed, a little nervous about his next move.

“Hyune where are you going?” you reached out to grab his wrist.

“Getting you a towel baby,” he places a quick kiss to your temple. “Just wanna clean my mess on my sweet girl,” he says, and you let him go. He rushes to his bathroom wetting a small towel in warm water and squeezing it before rushing back out to you who was patiently waiting on the bed.

“Back!” He says climbing back in the bed and parting your legs.

“You afraid I was going to leave you?” His tone so tender and you nod. “Never, you’re stuck with me,” he wipes gently at your soft skin.

“Can I ask you a question Y/N?” Hyunjin asks, tone a little bit more serious than usual as he continues to wipe random places from your thigh to your legs.

“Hmm?” You replied, preparing yourself for his question.

“Can I take a photo of your feet?” He says as the towel reaches your feet.

“You’re so annoying,” you giggled, quickly removing your feet from his hands and he laughs at your reaction.

“I was only kidding. Give me back the feet please,” he says.

Hyunjin throws the towel into the pile of clothes on the floor before lying next to you.

“Come here,” he pulls you into the same position you both were in last night, stroking your hair. Your heart flutters at the gesture.

“Hyune?” he hums in response. “Was I sweet?”

“The sweetest, my sweet girl,” he says.

The rest of the morning was spend in bed as you both trace random shapes with your fingers on each other’s body talking about sweet nothings.

“I didn’t hurt you did I baby?”

“No, you were perfect,” you replied cheeks flushed.

“Let me know if I ever do something that upsets you,” he replies tenderly.

“You could never Hyune.”

Your phone buzzes you both look to the direction of the vibration, which was the side table on Hyunjin’s side.

“Can you pass me my phone?” You ask and he reached over handing you the phone.

You unlocked it and there was a message from Minho.

Min Can we talk?

“You gonna answer him?” Hyunjin asked, a bit discouraged after peeking at Minho’s name on your phone.

“Nope not now,” you can tell Hyunjin is a little be sulky evidently due to his pout. You tap the editing option on your contact app making sure to tilt your phone a bit up so Hyunjin can see your next move.

“You okay?” You asked, adding ho to the end of Minho’s name on your phone. You tap back to Hyunjin’s name and to his surprise you already had him set as Hyune. Hyunjin nods at your question, suppressing his smile.

“You know I like you right?” You chuckle at his cuteness, adding a ❤️ to the end of his name before locking your phone and throwing it to the side.

“Yeah, you told me last night,” he replies cutely.

“Do you believe me?” He only nods at your question. “God damn it,” you voiced trying to sound a bit angsty but ended up sounding cute instead. “I was going to convince you how much I like you by letting you have your way with me,” you rolled your eyes making him giggle.

“Can I have my way anyways?” He says hovering over you, marking your neck again.

“Only if you let me see what I’m set as on your phone?” You teased.

“Send me a message then,” he tested and you search for your phone again.

Shortly after you hear a bing from his phone and he takes a look before passing it to you.

My sweet girl ❤️ Hi boyfriend! 🥰

“You’re so cute baby,” he says smiling at your message. You pull him down into you hiding your face in his chest as you smile uncontrollably at your contact name.

{🏷️ Taglist: @redstayrosie @konstanceee @farfromsugafanfic @realrintaro @bmnyy @binnies-minsung-fanclub @itsacatastrophe-xo @jyu-037 } Sorry if I missed anyone ❤️‍🩹

{Mina’s notes: I’m sorry this took forever. 🥴!!! I really wanted to showcase Hyunjin and Y/N’s playful relationship in this. 🤍 Anyways, to the Hyune girlies here is your ending.}  

#becomingmina #stray kids #skz #skz smut #stray kids smut #lee know #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin smut #FuckboyMin Part 3 #Hyune #hyunjin #lee minho #stray kids smuts #hwang hyunjin imagines

[ja3yun]

The Sun That Always Burns | S.JY Finale

sim jaeyun x afab!reader

warnings: smut (mdni), oral (f rec.), pussy slapping, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, pet names, dirty talk, i think thats the main stuff, ynjake are so fucking cute so, fluff, reconnection.

wc: 8.7k

synopsis: you and jake's high school relationship blossomed into a romance filled with hope and promise. However, as time went on, jake's long-term expectations began to weigh heavily on you, who struggled to meet them. your paths eventually lead you in separate directions, each experiencing different aspects of life and ultimately moving on from your past love. unexpectedly, fate intervened and you both reunite after years apart. the reunion allows you to rediscover your feelings for each other but also forces you to navigate the complexities of your past and present.

a/n: it's officially over :( i just want to say thank you to everyone who read the series, left comments, and likes! i hope the ending was what you wanted it to be. see you for the sunghoon series!

masterlist

Irony is a funny thing. So is deja vu. As you sit on a train heading home you can’t help but take in your surroundings and laugh at how you have found yourself running away from Jaeyun once again. You find it harder to convince yourself this is the right choice this time, nonetheless. Eunseo is right, you can’t take Jaeyun from Yeoreum. It’s selfish for you to walk in, raise hell, and get your happily ever after, leaving a trail of destruction behind you. You have already caused so much pain and confusion. 

Parts of you know it isn’t your fault, you didn’t know he was going to be there getting married. You did, however, have the opportunity to come clean, to disappear into the wind once again and let them live their happy life, yet you didn’t. Why? 

Selfishness? Ignorance? Love.

It was all for love. You and Jaeyun’s souls are bound by a connection greater than anyone can fathom and as soon as they found their way back to one another you couldn’t stop them from stitching back together, from loving each other. That’s why it feels like dying as you let him go. Just like the first time.

Looking out the train window you see the outskirts of the city you once lived in. It had been a long time since you stepped foot back home and to say you were nervous would be a massive understatement. Pieces of you are scattered around the city, memories of you from a lifetime before. Recollections of your past started to fade the more you were in Pyeongchang, largely due to the fact that you didn’t speak a word of your past to anyone for 4 years. 

Your mind drifts to your mum and dad. Mr. Sim said they had a hard time and that upsets you. In a way, you wish you could go back in time and just tell them not to tell Jaeyun where you were so you could keep your relationship with your parents alight. You have a lot of regrets about that day. 

Stepping off the train you smell the same caramelised nuts from when you were a teenager.

__

When you walked up to the Son family house, it was big, like a mansion. Nothing like your childhood home you were briskly walking up to right now. Carting your bag up the driveway your mouth goes moist, like you’re going to vomit any minute. If you were being honest with yourself you would admit that the anxiety you’re feeling seeing your parents again was overwhelming. If you didn’t know your body you would genuinely believe you might die. 

Tentatively, you raise your hand to the bell, waiting to muster up the courage to press the button. “It’s just your parents, they won’t hate you.” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you convince yourself to push the button.

The ding-dong from the doorbell shoots fear straight through your chest. What if they slam the door in your face? What if they shout and scream at you? You feel like a kid again who is terrified of their parents scolding them for doing something naughty. Guess it doesn’t matter what age you are, 13 or 23, you’ll always be scared of your mum and dad.

A gust of wind hits your face as the door swings open. Your mum. Your beautiful mum. She was right in front of you and suddenly your throat closed and your tear ducts filled.

“Y-Y/N? Sweetheart?” Her mouth hangs open as she whispers out your name, scared that if she says it too loud you’ll vanish from her. You don’t move and neither does she. 

During this time you look at how she’s aged so gracefully, crow's feet that were slight are now deeper, her forehead is adorned with new wrinkles, and her laugh lines are starting to appear. Your mum didn’t just miss you growing up, you missed her growing up too.

The wind blows around you and it pulls you both out of your trance.

“Hi, mum.” You wave nervously, your voice cracking, “How ha-”

Pulling you into her she hugs you tight, her arms squeezing around your neck as she takes in your scent. She can’t believe her baby is right in front of her. There is an astronomical amount of comfort in her hug, but she might squeeze you to death if she grips on any longer. “Mum…too tight.” Laughing slightly as you shed a tear.

“Sorry, sorry, I just can’t,” Her eyes drag over you and suddenly that sweet and soft look turns harsh and you know exactly what is coming, “Where have you been, young lady? Do you know how many times I called the police to look for you? How much time I spent worrying? My hair has turned grey because of you!” 

You laugh and hug her again, “I missed you too, mum.” Her tense body from the scolding she gave you flutters away, this hug holding every apology and forgiveness in it.

Your dad walks up to the door and he sighs relief. He never did have much to say but as he hugs both his daughter and wife, he says enough. 

“Welcome home, honey.”

___

After what felt like hours of explaining everything to your mum and dad, you finally felt the exhaustion hit you. It was hard to blabber out everything that had happened in the past week never mind the past 4 years. When you spoke about Jaeyun they also told you about how it affected him. 

He was a mess according to them. Jaeyun was never home, looking around every motel, all your friends' houses, and hospitals, he even went to every train station with your picture begging people to tell him if they had seen you. It shattered your heart to know that you did that to him. He said he went searching but somehow hearing it in detail from your parents made it worse, like you were there living it with him. 

Yet, here you are, doing it again to him. You can’t even find peace in the fact that at least he has a life to continue with because deep routed within you, you selfishly need it to be you that he’s with. 

As you drag yourself up to your childhood bedroom you feel the depression you felt that clouded you 4 years ago. It’s heavy and you can’t even be bothered to lift your feet to the next step. Talking about it all just puts everything into a clear and concise perspective.

You can’t have him. 

Opening the door you are hit with a massive wave of nostalgia. Everything was exactly in the same place; your plushies, the clothes you threw out of your wardrobe as you packed, and the posters of Monsta X and Seventeen are plastered along the walls. Suddenly you’re 19 again.

You place your bag down on your desk chair and sigh, beginning to tidy up your surroundings. Now you’re older you understand why your mum was always infuriated with the mess of your room and how she cleaned it for you. You’ll thank her properly for all those times tomorrow.

Walking to the pile of clothes you had on the floor you trifle through them and laugh, your fashion sure hasn’t changed. You haven’t really changed all that much if you think about it. One piece of clothing in your peripheral vision catches your eye. A simple black stretch t-shirt with a Lacoste logo embroidered on the right side. It was his t-shirt. 

Your fingers instinctively reach for it, picking it up gently and bringing it to your nose. Somehow it still smells like him, like the him you had the pleasure of calling yours. Gripping it tight you bury your face into it, soaking his essence up. A memory of the last time you remember him wearing it projects in your head. 

He was coming back from football practice and stopped at your house to see you. You think about how pretty he looked that day with his baseball cap put on backward, a silver chain peeking from under this very t-shirt you’re holding. How could someone be so effortlessly beautiful? 

“Baby?” He said waltzing into your room, still high from a successful practice. You were lying on top of your bed with earphones in.

“Jaeyun!” You beamed and sat up a little as you took an earphone out, “thought you were going to Heeseung’s after practice?” 

“Nah, wasn’t feeling it. I’ve used up my social battery for today I think.” He takes the earphone from you and places it in his ear. 

Like muscle memory, you opened your legs and he lay between them, his head placed on your tummy, arms hugging around you so his palms are placed against your back. 

“Jaeyun, if your social battery is drained, why are you here?” You look down and remove his cap, raking your hand through his hair. His puppy eyes meet yours as he looks up, his chin poking your stomach.

“Babe you know you don’t count,” he plants a kiss on your stomach, “I can never get tired of you.”

Heartache is the only feeling you have right now. Everything was so simple back then and you had to ruin it. How many chances did you miss to lay with him like that because you were stupid enough to leave him? 

All the conversations from the last few days swirl in your mind.

‘I would have made long distance work.’ 

‘Baby, I love you’

‘They don’t want him to marry her.’

‘You’ll make the right choice’

’If those reasons don’t matter anymore, you should do what you think is best.’

‘He would leave my sister for you’

It was all too much and you only had yourself to blame. You can’t shake this heaviness in your chest, the only peace you’re finding is in the comfort of his old t-shirt. 

Slipping out of your clothes you forget about cleaning your room, too sad to focus. If you can’t even clear up your thoughts what chance do you have cleaning this mess up? You strip down to your panties before putting on his t-shirt. It fits the way it used to, it’s slightly baggy and ends just on the very top of your thighs. Something about your body being engulfed in something that’s his makes you tranquil. 

You pull your covers back and slink into bed, the sensation strangely foreign despite the years you slept here. As you get comfortable, Jaeyun’s t-shirt wafts, and it’s like he’s in bed with you.

You cry yourself to sleep and dream of a better reality. One with you in his arms. One where you are his.

___

A loud thump at the door jolts you from your slumber. Someone is pounding at the front door and the sudden rude wake-up makes your heart match the rapid bangs. 

Creeping downstairs to not make a sound, your eyes are scanning the lower ground floor for any sign of your parents, fuck, any sign of life at this point. Your dad always said not to answer the door if they ‘chap it like a copper’ so you’re very apprehensive. 

“Dad?” You whisper shout and another couple of hard knocks scare you again. This is it. You’re going to die. It’s karma for all your mistakes. 

It seems you’re the only one home and you stomp your feet like a bratty child trying to build the courage to open the door. “If I die tell Jooheon I loved him.” You say to no one in particular, just anyone that will head your plea.

Unlocking the door you slowly open it and have your eyes tight shut, ready for the worst. 

“Y/N…” 

That voice. His voice. 

You pry one of your eyes open to see if your ears are deceiving you. They aren’t.

“Jaeyun? W-what are you doing here?” You look around behind him in bewilderment and then back into your house searching for the time. “You’re getting married in like-” Whipping your head around you don’t get to finish your sentence.

“I’m not marrying her.”

Shock pulses through your veins. Guilt pours into your heart. This is your fault. 

Your water line was filling with tears at the thought of you ruining his new relationship, ruining his new life all because you were an idiot. You stayed too long, let yourselves get attached again. 

A scoff of disbelief leaves your mouth and you shake your head. “You can’t be serious?”

Looking into his eyes was the worst thing you could have done. He’s tired and drained, he’s looking at you like you hold the universe. Waves of all emotions crash onto you at once and you try to fight back the tears. 

“I’m so serious, baby.” He steps forward and you step back, “No, no, no, Y/N, don’t run from this. Did you think I wouldn’t come chasing after you this time? I love you, Y/N. I can’t live without you, not again.” 

Jaeyun spent the whole night driving, his first stop was at your flat in Pyeongchang. He begged Eunseo for the address and after a hard slap to his face, she gave him it. Jaeyun asked as a shot in the dark, expecting no result, but Eunseo saw the way he was frantically running around the house looking for you. She couldn’t see three broken hearts from this situation. When you weren’t at your flat there was only one place you would be. Here.

You shake your head full-on crying now and trying to get away from him but he yanks you back until your chest is pressed against his. His lips are dangerously close to your chapped ones. Sucking in your bottom lip you sob and look down, “Tell me you want us. Tell me you felt everything I felt this week.”

His words aren’t registering in your head. All you are thinking about is how this is exactly the situation you wanted to avoid back those years ago, Jaeyun giving up everything he has worked hard for, just for you. “You can’t do that. You can’t leave her.”

“If it meant I would have you back I would do anything. I’d break anyone’s heart to be able to hold yours again.” Jaeyun’s eyes are holding tears as his heart beats loudly in his chest and you feel it softly. Only soulmates can notice minute things like that. His words echo in your head and you sob loudly, covering your mouth. “I’ll ask you again, tell me you want this, us.” He’s begging for permission to love you again, to just be yours again.

Jaeyun’s feelings for you never left. When he went to Busan and attended Apollo College he was a shell of a person with only two emotions inside him longing and love, both just for you. 

“You started your new life for a reason, you gotta live it.” Despite your words trying to separate you both you find yourself practically melting into him, becoming one again. 

“Baby, please,” He kisses your forehead and feels you exhale in contentment at his lips laid upon you once again, “I might be living this life but if I don’t have you I’ll spend all of it failing to get over you, just like I have been.” Lips graze from your temple to your cheek, etching their way to your lips, brushing ever so slightly. “What you asked that night at the club, you meant it.”

Confusion sparks on your face, “huh?”

“When you asked me not to marry Yeoreum.”

Shock. 

You’re in complete shock. You didn’t say that, did you? There is no way did. Jaeyun sees the confusion written across your face. You really don’t remember. 

“I saw it in your eyes, in the way you kissed me, touched me. Y/N, it’s fate that you turned up.” Jaeyun’s lips are touching yours as he speaks, patiently waiting for you to give him the green light to devour you in a kiss. But you don’t.

There is so much to lose. Friendships, families, opportunities. Eunseo meant so much to you, if you take Jaeyun away from her sister you’ll lose her. But you’ll lose Jaeyun if you don’t take this chance. You’d be so selfish to say yes to him, to break Eunseo’s heart. To break Yeoreum’s heart. “What about Yeoreum? What about her?”

“I told her everything,” His big hand is holding the right side of your face now, “about us, about how I felt, that I think deep down we both knew we didn’t want this wedding. I wasn’t over you and Yeoreum wasn’t able to live with a husband that couldn’t be 100% hers. And she shouldn’t have to.”

“But you love her.” That’s what you had always thought.

“I loved that she was a distraction from you. When she and I met I was just hooking up with her,” There is pain on your face as he says those words and he rubs the apple of your cheek, “I know, I’m sorry baby, but you gotta hear me out.” He continues, “It was casual, she was good to me, patient. But no one was ever going to shine a light compared to you. One day she was just…my girlfriend.”

You shut your eyes. Honestly, you didn’t want to hear any of this. Of course, you knew she got to have him and touch him the way you used to, but when someone says it so brashly it makes your skin crawl. Especially when it was coming from his lips.

“I told her I wasn’t over you but she said she could help. After that…” Jaeyun continues to thumb your cheek, hoping it provides some comfort and reassurance. “I thought I fell in love with her. Really I did. I even asked her to marry me but I was just in love with the fact that she made me forget you, even for like a millisecond.” He rubs his nose with yours, sighing and closing his eyes, “Believe me, Princess, when I tell you I thought about you every single fucking minute of the day.” 

You did believe him because you did the exact same thing. Even in your dreams, he was always there. 

“Then when I turned around and saw you at the party on Tuesday,” He bites his lip and opens his eyes, almost rolling them at the thought of you in that dress, “Nothing was distracting me. I kissed her and suddenly all I could think of was you again. Your lips, how you made me feel. Fuck, Y/N, you’re the only one that ever let me just be me. How could I truly love someone that I can’t even be myself around.” 

The sobs in your chest rumble as you hold them in but it’s getting hard to breathe. “Shh, baby, relax.” He can feel you struggle for air and he wraps you tight in a hug, “Princess, I love you.”

As he feels your arms wrap around him and hears you crying, he guides you into the house and kicks the door shut to give you some privacy.

Crying hard into his chest he simply soothes you, gently caressing your back and kissing your hair. It’s all too much for you to process. 

One side of you feels guilty, he was happy with Yeoreum before you showed up. The wedding that was meant to take place today is canceled because of you.

The other side of you feels like it’s floating, finally free of a burden. You can love Jaeyun with all your heart because you have the opportunity to be his.

“Princess, look at me.” Jaeyun’s pointer finger lifts your chin, both your eyes meeting, glazed in water. “I’ve already called off the wedding, baby. Either you have me or you don’t. The decision is yours and I’ll respect it.” He smiles sadly, “but if you say no then I’m single and honestly I can’t bear to download a dating app. I refuse.” Jaeyun jokes to lighten the mood and you laugh loudly, masked in a sob. 

He’s right, there’s nothing really stopping you from being together now. You’re basically graduated, and so is he. He has a job in Busan which is like media hub central so you could easily find work. There is no reason to torture your souls anymore.

“Okay.”

“Huh?” Jaeyun’s eyes widen and dart over every detail on your face, waiting to hear what he wants to.

“I love you so much, Jaeyun.” It’s your turn to reach your hand to his cheek, your palm only covering a fraction of what he covers on yours. “I want to be yours. Forever.”

A second. It took one whole second before Jaeyun’s lips were devouring yours, those beautiful full pink lips pressed hard against your own. Not one thought left in any of your heads other than each other. 

You’re both desperate, clashing with one another. Jaeyun dips down and his hands slide down your ass to your thighs, picking you up so you are sitting on his hands, legs enfold around his waist. Not once did you stop kissing him. 

He carries you up the stairs, his feet moving instinctively and quickly to your bedroom like it was just yesterday. Jaeyun knew the scope of your house in every light and darkness with how many times he snuck in to fuck you late at night or had dinner with your family.

When he reaches the top step he bounces you up so you’re more secure on his waist but as your core presses down on his hardening cock he groans. He missed the way you felt and even this teaser was almost sending him over the edge, tempting him to just take you in the hallway.

Kissing Jaeyun felt like sunflowers blossoming in your stomach and out of your mouth, pouring sweetness and love into every smooch, every tongue flick. He rushes into your bedroom and almost falls over the mess. Fuck, you really should have cleaned your room.

Jaeyun’s hands grip you tighter to stop you from falling, “Sorry, Princess.” He places you down gently and goes right back to kissing you, his hands roaming the soft skin under your t-shirt. 

That’s when he notices what you’re wearing. His t-shirt. One he thought he lost when packing to leave for Busnan, but it was with you. Just like his heart. “I thought I lost this.” There’s a double connotation to his words. Yes, it was about the t-shirt, but it was also about you and your love. You look down and sheepishly grin.

“I found it when I came back here.” You say while his hands take the bottom of the t-shirt and rub it.

A smirk plastered on his face, “Damn,” he tuts, “Here I was having thoughts about you touching yourself wearing it while we weren’t together.” 

Oh, Jaeyun hasn’t changed one bit. Still horny, still obsessed with you. Playfully you roll your eyes. “Bold of you to assume I didn’t have another t-shirt of yours.” 

If a grown man could purr, he would have. Closing his eyes, he had to compose himself for a moment before he busted a nut right there and then. You use the moment to massage your hands up his torso and on his chest, rubbing your thumbs over his nipples. The purr turns into a whine as he grabs you tightly on your waist. “Fucking love you so much, Y/N.”

Jaeyun’s lips are back on yours with force as he pushes you onto the bed, his weight hovering over you. The heat emanating from both your bodies feels like the sun has been turned up by 100, his touches light up your skin, and his lips leave sunburnt kisses all over your neck. The way he’s desperately clutching your skin proves to you how much he missed you.

“I wanna fuck you in this t-shirt but shit, I gotta see all of you, baby.” Jaeyun pants in your ear. He’s like a dog on heat, just aching to have you, to consume every inch of you. His tongue runs down your neck until he reaches your collarbone but you need more than this.

While he’s kissing and biting the base of your neck he’s gripping at the t-shirt that’s covering his second favourite part of you and lifting it to uncover your tits. Jaeyun peels himself away from you for a second to admire your figure. God how he has missed your body - the softness of your skin, the way each of your boobs fall slightly to the side when you’re on your back like this, and how your nipples stand proudly. It’s mouth-watering.

“Sit up a bit for me, Princess,” Jaeyun says as he takes off your t-shirt and that’s when he sees the necklace again. He noticed you wearing it the whole week and it made him feel proud, like part of you always belonged to him. His pointer finger holds the chain away from your neck and his smile is beaming. “You never took it off? Like ever?”

“No. I couldn’t” You confess, looking down at it, the sun symbol shining as brightly as the first night he gave it to you. Jaeyun’s smile widened further if that was even possible. Something about you always being branded by him made him feel feral. You were always his and it made him feel guilty because literally yesterday he was getting prepared for his wedding to someone who wasn’t you.

You see his face change to a look you’ve not seen before, “Hey,” Your hand reaches for his face, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. For ever being with someone else.” Your heart shatters. It’s not his fault, none of it is.

“Jaeyun you never have to apologise for trying to move on. I left you without a word, it’s only natural you would move on.”

“But I didn’t. I couldn’t move on.” His hands are massaging your tits as he speaks and it’s sending your brain into a frenzy. It’s been so long since he touched you so intimately yet so commonly. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put into words the love I have for you.”

As his hands knead your breasts he feels your heart skip and it entices him to lean down and kiss you softly. The act between the two of you right now is so pure and raw. It’s meant to be. 

You kiss him back gently, your tongue slipping into his mouth. The taste of him is so delicious you can’t help but moan and your hands rake through his thick hair. Instinctively, your back arches and pushes into him, the motion causing your tits to mold further into his hands, and the flesh spills between his fingers. 

Jaeyun keeps one hand on your left tit while the other slips down past your waist, the pads of his fingers etching hearts into your skin just like that day in the car. The feeling of his gentle touch is making your stomach do cartwheels and your core aching to be touched. You rub your thighs together to create some friction that will help ease the neediness. He notices you wriggling and he knows exactly what you’re doing.

“Am I not going fast enough for you, Princess?” He smirks, his middle finger dips into your pants just enough to sit in the waistband. You’re throwing your head back, preparing yourself for him to touch you where you need him but instead all his motions stop, causing you to open your eyes and go back to looking at him.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“You seem to be pleasing yourself all on your own, baby,” Jaeyun’s eyes fall down to look at your legs rubbing together like they’re two sticks and you’re in the woods trying to start a fire, “Don’t want to interrupt you.” 

Oh, he is evil. It’s been 4 years since his hands have been on you and he still has the reserve within him to tease you. 

Jaeyun sits back and grabs your hand, placing it on his wrist. “Use it.”

“Use what?” You’re genuinely confused.

“My hand. Use it how you want. Tell me what you want since you seem to be so desperate and clearly I’m not doing it right.” His tone is unbothered but mocking. There’s a glint in his eye that’s almost challenging you. He’s so fucking hot.

Taking a harsher grip on his wrist, you open your legs and push his hand to cup your heat. He never let you take charge before so you’re apprehensive but you need to take your pennies before they disappear. 

His hand stays there doing nothing and you look at him expectantly. Why isn’t he doing anything? 

Putting your hand to ghost over his you push it down, his palm now pressed hard against your vagina yet he still doesn’t move. His head shakes as he pouts, “That all you want? Come on baby, I thought you were desperate. Hmm?” Somehow his voice is an octave lower and it elicits your pussy to drip through your pants and onto his palm. When Jaeyun feels it he smirks, licking his bottom lip. “Your bodies telling me everything, but you gotta use your words, Princess.” 

You’re feeling a little defiant, he’s too cocky in this situation and you want to take him down a peg or two. So you press the bottom of his palm to your clit and start to grind on it.

When Jaeyun carried you up the stairs not even 30 minutes ago you thought the sex would be sweet, full of confessions and whispered promises to never leave each other again considering the emotional rollercoaster you both went on this week. But you should have known better, that was never his style. 

The sensation of his rigid palm against your nub was sensational and you were gasping when it rubbed you a certain way. You could get off just by doing this but you needed more. More of him.

Jaeyun can see your internal conflict of whether or not to tell him what you want. He leans down, his breath tickling your ear as he speaks, “Princess,” he nips at your lobe, “give in?”

“N-no.” You’re trying to focus on the pleasure you’re feeling but your entrance is clenching around nothing like it’s talking to you and telling you it needs to be filled by something. Anything at all. Jaeyun. 

He tuts and sighs heavily, pulling back and watching you grind on his hand. “Since when didn’t you listen to me?” His middle finger suddenly rubs in between your folds, ghosting over your hole and you could cry with happiness but he stops as soon as he starts, “Want more of that?”

Nodding quickly you stare at him desperately, your hips never stopping the action that’s giving you satisfaction. “Tell me.” 

It was almost like he was asking you to beg him. 

And that is exactly what you do.

“Fuck, please Jaeyun, I need your fingers inside me.”

“There’s my good girl.” He kisses your temple and his once limp hand now gains its strength as it takes over. Finally.

Jaeyun doesn’t know how he’s restrained himself this long. If he wasn’t so in love with the way you act when he teases you he probably would have fucked you and made you cum 3 times already. But it’s the first time in so long since he’s had you like this, he was going to make sure he gave you everything he had. Showed you just how much he missed you.

After pulling your underwear down, two fingers breach your entrance and you throw yourself back onto the bed, gasping as you finally feel some sort of release. He thrusts them in slowly, gliding them in and out as he stretches you out in a way only he knows how. 

Right now Jaeyun didn’t want to think about how you’ve probably been touched by someone else but god does he love to have his ego boosted, so he asks the question, “You’re so tight, baby. All those other guys not fuck you right?”

You can’t believe he’s bringing this up right now. Of course he would surmise that you probably had sex. It has been 4 years and you weren’t going to go celibate your whole life. But to ask it while his fingers are fucking you open, curling into you like he was gesturing for your orgasm to come closer? He sure did pick his times. You know what he’s looking for, what he is looking the hear.

“No,” your voice was quiet, almost lost amongst the wet noises your pussy was making as Jaeyun picks up the pace, “No one fucked me like you do.”

“Because I’m the only one that can fuck you good. Isn’t that right?” His fingers start to scissor you open further causing you to lift your hips and bury the back of your head into the mattress. Jaeyun’s free hand lays flat across your lower abdomen and pushes your hips back down, the pressure only adding to your gratification. 

He was right though, not one other person ever fucked you as good as him. The way he would listen to your body was otherworldly, always giving you exactly what you craved. All those boys from college just looking for a quick fuck didn’t care about you or if you came. Not like Jaeyun who thought if he made you cum only twice it was a weak night.

“I only want you.” You confess his heart could flutter straight from his chest. Jaeyun had missed the way you would just casually say the prettiest things, especially when you were so fucked out like this. He smiles widely and kisses your tummy.

“And I only need you,” he replies, his lips still lingering under your navel. 

His thumb rubs your clit and you’re seeing stars, a coil erupting in your stomach. Jaeyun feels you cumming and goes harder with his fingers, thrusting them up at a rapid pace just the way you liked and putting pressure on your sensitive bud. “That’s it, Princess.” He talks you through it but you’re too far gone to hear a word he says, “So fucking beautiful cumming on my fingers like this. Such a good girl for me. I love you so much.” He says these cute but filthy words in between kisses he’s planting on your forehead. 

As you come down from your high you don’t get a chance to breathe as you feel your legs being pinned open and Jaeyun’s tongue is lapping up your cum. “J-Jaeyun give me a…give me a minute.” But he doesn’t let up, lost in your essence, drinking your cum like it’s the sweetest thing since honey. 

Your taste has been missed. Jaeyun almost forgot how addicting your pussy is. Messily he starts to lick and suck at your overstimulated nub, he’s eating you like a man starved and you can’t help but be brought close to release once again. 

His tongue dips into you, curling as he slurps up every trace of your last orgasm. Your fingers find his hair to grip on while you moan profanities into the warm air.

“Tug on it, Princess,” Jaeyun instructed and you did just that. Yanking his hair emanated a low groan from the boy between your legs, his hips humping the mattress to try and relieve the pressure in his trousers. If he didn’t make you cum again soon he would spill right into his boxers. That situation only happened once when it was his birthday and you wore those cute frilly pants that he loved. You let him eat you out with them still on, the fabric rubbing against his nose, and when you came all over his face he came in his boxers. 

Jaeyun’s eyes roll to the back of his head at the memory, only spurring him on to devour you even more in this moment. He feels your walls contracting around his tongue so he pulls out and puts his mouth to work back on your clit.

“S-shit, Jaeyun,” The grip you have on his hair tightens, “I’m gonna cum again.”

The smirk on his face didn’t match the butterflies in his chest. His cocky exterior was a mask for how much he was anticipating your release on his face, how he was so giddy with excitement that he got to soak you up, something he thought would never happen again.

“Let go, love. Give it to me.” He wanted to sound confident but he practically whined it, begging for your nectar. He was hungry for it, for you.

His words have you cumming again and the sound that erupts from your mouth has Jaeyun growling into your pussy. He was the one making you cry out in pleasure like that and he was confident no one else ever had. 

Your chest is heaving, pants echo in the room but Jaeyun is still between your legs, cleaning every last drop from you. 

“Jaeyun, please…” You go to shut your thighs but you can’t, his hands forcing them to stay open. He wasn’t done with you but you don’t know how much more you can take. “Baby, I’ve only got one more in me, max.” It’s embarrassing to admit it but you haven’t cum like this in so long, and you wanted to cum on his dick at least once today. 

His big eyes twinkle as he peaks his head up. “What?” He looked so cute you contemplate if you could really cum 2 more times.

Playing with his luscious now slightly damp hair you smile at him, “I can push for one more but I want it to be on your cock.” Almost like your words pulled him out of his trance he smiled, placing one last kiss on your clit before sitting up. 

“Remember you used to be able to cum like 6 times in one night?”

“Yes,” You roll your eyes and smile, “but that was when you had me trained. I’ve not cum more than once in, oh I don’t know, 4 years.” 

The arrogance radiating off him was so sexy. Jaeyun’s ego was the size of a hot air balloon as you disclose the information that he is in fact the only man who can make you feel good like this. 

His hand pets your pussy as he leans down again, “Don’t worry, I’ll train you back up in no time.” 

“Um, Jaeyun?” 

“Yeah?” His eyes meet yours waiting for you to continue.

“Did you just speak to my vagina?” 

There’s a silence and then laughter from both of you. Now that Jaeyun hears you acknowledge his actions out loud he realises how strange it must have looked. He brings his hand to scratch the back of his neck as his laugh gets louder.

“Yes?” He chuckles and places his hands on his hips in embarrassment, “Sorry.”

“Is that a new thing you picked up? Talking to genitals?” You shuffle up so you’re sitting straight, legs spread as wide as the smile on your face.

Jaeyun shrugs, “Sometimes it’s a very stimulating conversation.”

Your eyebrows raise, “Oh really? And what is my pussy saying to you now?”

Crawling towards you he smirks and his puppy-like eyes are blown out with love and lust, “It’s telling me that it needs to be fucked so good it’ll start barking.” You laugh again. He’s so silly and stupid. He’s your Jaeyun.

Once you both stop laughing you place your hand on his face, stroking your thumb on the squishy part of his cheeks. You both look at each other and instantly understand one another. The apologies, the pining, the need, the love. You could almost cry right there and then as his eyes whisper a soulful ‘I love you’, you can’t ever imagine living without him again.

“I love you so much, you know that right? You know I never stopped?” The hand that was on his face now wipes his mouth clean of your cum. Jaeyun wouldn’t have cared if your juices stayed there forever, at least he could taste you all the time.

“I know, Princess. I love you more than the moon and the stars.” Jaeyun’s bottom lip juts out and you take the opportunity to kiss it, sucking it a little and tasting yourself on him. 

Sitting on his knees he deepens the kiss, leaving you breathless. Your hands unbutton his trousers clumsily and he smiles into the kiss. “Want a hand?”

“Shut the fuck up,” You laugh, “I’m distracted.” Jaeyun beams and nuzzles your nose.

Standing up, Jaeyun pulls down his trousers and goes to follow it with his boxers but he swiftly turns around and heads for your drawer, looking to locate a condom. He pulls out the shiny blue packet and examines it, “Baby?” He twirls to you, the packet in between his middle and pointer finger, “You think these have an expiration date?” 

You watch him look thoroughly at the packet. If he didn’t look so cute right now you would be wondering how he can be so bright but so dumb at the same time. “Jaeyun, baby, did you not take sex ed?”

“Huh?” He’s puzzled.

“They lose effect over time? 3-5 years max? Ring any bells?” You’re trying to hold in a laugh as his eyebrows furrow together.

“When did we learn that?” He’s racking his brain for any recollection of the class, then i clicks his fingers and point to you, “Ah, Mrs. Lee. That was the class I made those little boat hats in.”

He was so proud of himself, every time he had the class he timed how many he could make within the hour.

“I think I still have the pink one you made me in here somewhere,” You scour the room to see if it was easily available. “Anyway, you don’t need it.”

“The boat hat?”

“No-” Oh my days he is unbelievable you think to yourself “No the condom you idiot!” You’re shaking your head in disbelief. He is truly so stupid. “You don’t have to use one, unless you want to, of course.” You let him decide what to do. However, you’re patience is wearing thin and you’re getting chilly due to you sitting on the bed naked.  

“Seriously?” Jaeyun never thought he would get to feel your raw pussy ever again. That one time you let him fuck you without a condom was the best thing he ever experienced. With Yeoreum he always wore a condom despite her protests most times. He just couldn’t risk it, being a dad so soon wasn’t worth it regardless of how good it would feel. That and he only wanted to have sex raw with you, no one else. “Are you on the pill?”

“I got a coil put in last year.” You shudder at the memory and pain. It was easily in the top 5 most uncomfortable moments you went through, but right now you’re glad you got it.

“Did you fuck guys without a condom?” His voice is hurt and his arms drop to his side, face frowning. Jaeyun didn’t want anyone else’s cock feeling your walls the way he did. It was his pleasure to have, not anyone else

You quickly shake your head sit up more alert than before, hands flying to your chest as if to swear on your heart. “Oh god no, baby. My periods got like, really really bad. I got the IUD because they said it would help.” How could he think that? You couldn’t do that to him.

Seeing him physically relax eases your own mind. “Okay, good. I was worried there for a second.”

“You never fucked Yeoreum without one?” Her name leaving your lips leaves a bitter feeling in your mouth and his ears. He mumbles a ‘no of course not' and throws the probably expired condom back into the drawer. 

Jaeyun walks towards you with a small smile on his face, relief evident. Now he can make love to you with full confidence that he is, and will be, the only man to ever truly feel you. He steps out of his boxers and you’re almost salivating at the sight, drool threatening to drip down your chin. You’ve missed it so much.

You reach your hand out but he slaps it away lightly. Protesting with a soft ‘hey’ you go to touch him again but it’s the same result.

“Princess, I love that you wanna gag around my cock but I need to be inside you, like, right now.” Your walls throb at his words. His effect on you and your body needs to be studied one of these days.

Before you know it, he’s pushing you to lay on your back, kissing all over your face and neck, each kiss meaning more than the last.

“You’re hearts beating,” You say quietly as he sucks on the sweet spot just under your ear.

“Yeah baby, kinda how I stay alive,” Feeling his smile on your neck as his tongue licks you gets you even wetter than before, if that was possible, “I didn’t miraculously turn into Edward Cullen.” 

“A girl can dream,” You joke. A slap across your pussy makes you yelp and open your eyes wide. “What was that for?”

Shrugging, Jaeyun smirks, “For thinking about another guy.”

“You brought him u-”

Slap.

The stinging on your pussy brings you to a halt. “Stop that!” 

Slap

You can’t deny how much it’s turning you on, the groan that slips from your lips plasters a smirk on Jaeyun’s face. “Be a good girl, yeah?” His hand goes back to your pussy to soothe the nipping.

Having sex like this again was invigorating for him, he missed this so much. He missed you. 

Replacing his hand with his dick he starts to collect your wettness on the tip of his cock. He looks into your eyes for permission to go and as soon as you nod he slips the head of his cock in. “Fuck.” 

The pace is slow as he takes in the feeling of your cunt hugging him so tight, fitting him like a glove. When he pulls back, the tip snags on your hole and he repeats this until your begging him for more. “Babe please, faster.” 

He speeds up, his hips driving into you as he bottoms out each time he lunges forward, his head pecking kisses to your cervix. He’s so deep in you, that the unfamiliar familiar feeling begins to overwhelm you. Jaeyun’s pubic bone is lightly hitting your overstimulated clit and it’s making you thrash under him. “Jae-Jaeyun please,” 

“What is it, baby?” The soft-spoken tone of his words is a juxtaposition to his relentless thrusts that are battering your cunt. 

“Close.” If it was any other time, you would be embarrassed at how fast you’re cumming again, but Jaeyun would understand. He does. 

Jaeyun spits on your folds and rubs it in, focusing on your clit to bring you over the edge. The sensations are too overwhelming, between his fingers roughly rubbing your bud and his cock bruising your walls, it’s all too much and you’re cumming for the third time that day. 

The squeeze of your walls nearly has Jaeyun spilling into you but he wants this to last a little longer. “That’s it, Princess. Cumming over my cock so well,” He kisses your forehead, “Such a perfectly good girl for me.” 

Jaeyun’s lips trail down your face to your neck to your tits, his mouth taking in your right nipple. “Fucking hell, Jaeyun.” He can’t hear you because he’s too busy sucking your tit and losing himself in consuming you. 

His hips are jackhammering into you and you can’t think straight, your mind is foggy, mouth wide open, eyes have rolled back, and hands aimlessly gripping at his back and arms. You haven’t been fucked like this in years, hell, you don’t think you and Jaeyun have ever had sex as good as this. 

Jaeyun mentally agrees with you as he starts to lose his rhythm but still gives you his all. His mouth leaves your nipple as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, “Fuck, Y/N, can’t hold back anymore.”

Despite his energy depleting, his thrusts are still sharp and his hands are holding you down by your hips, leaving you no option but to just lay there and take his powerful hits. Not that you minded, this is exactly how you like it.

You don’t truly believe it but you think you might cum again. To make sure you get there in time with him you reach down and rub yourself, mewling loudly in his ear at the feeling. 

Jaeyun’s head peaks up to look at you, “You gonna cum with me, Sweetheart?” The nickname isn’t used often but when he does whisper it, it’s your favourite one.

“Y-yes oh god yes.” 

Jaeyun kisses you hungrily as your words help him spill his seed into you, the white strings shooting straight into you and it mixes with your own release. You both chant each other's names along with some expletives, Jaeyun dropping in 2 ‘I love you’s’ just for added measure.

A few minutes later once you both had time to compose yourselves, Jaeyun falls to the side of you and stares at the ceiling. He was so content with everything in this moment. You are back in his arms, he’s just had the best sex of his life, and his heart finally feels like it’s beating with a purpose other than just living. It’s beating for you and that is the best feeling in the world.

“I love you, Jaeyun.” You turn your face to the side to look at him, eyes smiling softly. 

He takes your hand and lays a kiss on top of it. “I love you too, Y/N.” 

None of you have to say any more than that right now. It’s enough.

He sits up and inspects your body, some bruises were his fingers dug in too deep forming and he frowns. He didn’t mean to go so hard but quite frankly he wouldn’t take it back.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Planting a kiss on your head he makes a b-line for downstairs, grabbing a glass of water and some paracetamol for you. 

When he comes back, you’re sitting up, leaning against the headboard with your eyes shut. You’re the perfect view. 

“Here, baby.” After handing you the water and pills he puts his boxers back on and gives you the black t-shirt from earlier. “Almost forgot we’re literally still at your parent's house.” His neck turns red.

“I don’t even know where they are?” You place the water on the windowsill next to your bed and pull the top over your head. Jaeyun hums and stays sitting at the edge of the bed with his head down. Gently your hand makes contact with his shoulder, “Babe? You okay?”

“You’re mine again, right?” He side eyes you because he’s too nervous to look directly at you, “Like, you’ll come to Busan with me and be my girl again?”

Your heart summersaults and you smile reassuringly. You couldn’t imagine ever being away from him again. You made that mistake the first time but never again, “I will. I’ll need to finish up Uni but that’s only a few months.” Grabbing his chin you turn him to you, “Then I’ll be home with you.”

Home. Your home.

“Marry me.” 

“What? Haven’t you had enough wedding drama for a while?”

“I’m serious!” He laughs and looks at the ceiling, thinking deeply, “Not right now, but when we’re settled. Be my wife?”

The only thing you can do is kiss him as confirmation, too overwhelmed by pure emotions to give him a verbal answer. This is truly all you’ve ever wanted.

He pulls back and smiles widely. “Wait here!” In the next few seconds, Jaeyun shoved his t-shirt on and pranced downstairs and out the front door. What is he doing? 

Hearing his car door open and shut you impatiently wait for him to come back. It doesn’t take long but why is it when you want them to hurry up time suddenly slows down. With his hands behind his back, he enters your bedroom once again. 

“Y/N L/N,” He coughs before he starts again, “I love you more than anything else in the whole world. You’re so stupid and annoying, and honestly, you’re mean.” 

Wow, you think, he’s such a charmer. 

“But you’re mine. My everything to be quite honest. I could have everything in the world and if you’re not by my side there really is no point in any of it.” He sits down beside you on the bed, hands still clasped behind him, “So, would you do me the great honour of marrying me in the distant, but please make it near, future?”

He moves his hands to the front of him and you tear up. Is it what you think it is?

Trembling, your hands take the white box and stare at it. It takes you a moment to gather up the courage to open it but when you do it’s like it opens a floodgate of tears as they ricochet down your cheeks.

The pinky ring he gave you the night before you left shines in front of you. He kept it all these years later. Jaeyun didn’t know why quite honestly because it only served as a hurtful memory. But as he sees you ogle at it, he realises it was exactly for this moment.

“My speech the first time was better I think.” Jaeyun jokes and you choke out a little sob. Taking the ring from the box he slips it onto your left pinky. It still fits perfectly. Just like you and Jaeyun. “So? Will you?”

“Yes.” Nodding your head and wiping your tears with your free hand you give him the answer he’s been waiting to hear his whole life, “I’ll marry you. Eventually.”

His forehead rests against yours. “I’m gonna love you forever.”

“Until the sun stops burning?”

“Until the sun stops burning."

#enha smut #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #jake smut #jake sim smut #sim jaeyun smut #jake x reader #jake sim x reader #sigh i loved this so much #im so sad its over!

[tooearlyforthis]

Bound in Pain | Steve Harrington

Pairing: Steve Harrington x soulmate!Reader

Word Count: 8.6k

Synopsis: In a world where you can feel your soulmate's pain, y/n gives up hope. That was until Vecna attacked Hawkins.

Warnings: during season 4, fluff, soulmate AU!

I love soulmate au's but they are so rare. Petition for more of these to be written please!

Click here to see my masterlist

Y/n didn’t like the soulmate attachment. It seemed weird to her that everyone in the world had someone perfect for them, so perfect, that they could feel each other's pain. A tether that connected souls, meant to help find each other in the sea of other people.

She remembered when she found out. Waking up with bruises covering her, like an artist painting a canvas. A sharp pain pulsated through her arms, as her parents explained why it was happening to her. Why she was feeling pain without cause. 

At first she dismissed the constant pain as reckless behavior. But then the small bruises turned into black eyes, scrapes turned into gashes, and she couldn’t wait for the day she could ask her soulmate why. 

Most people found their other half around the time they turned 16. No one knew why but it always ended up that way. Why did bond forced people together at such a young age? To prevent them from deviating? To start the rest of their lives? 

Whatever the reason, it didn’t matter. Y/n woke up on the morning of that birthday with a twinkle in her eyes, a sudden hope that maybe today was the day she would find them. She kept her eyes peeled, watching the movements of everyone around her. But days passed, even months and still there was no sign of her soulmate anywhere. 

A majority of the kids in her grade had already found their match and her blood boiled every time she would pass them in the halls. So cute, so perfect together. It was just a reminder that she was still alone. Where could her soulmate be? Was she unlucky? Did they live an unfathomable distance away from her?

After graduating high school, with still no hint as to who her partner could be, Y/n gave up hope. Maybe she was meant to be single forever. Maybe this other person, who was so careless and rash, was meant to stay anonymous. 

It wasn’t until the summer of ’85 that she knew she would definitively be alone. During the cold night of Fourth of July, she was waiting in a churro line at the Hawkin’s Fair, accompanied by a friend she knew back in high school. One minute she was moving forward, watching as someone left with their food and the next…it was like a punch in the gut. 

Falling over, she slammed into the ground, the coarse dirt digging into her sides. But the pain didn’t stop. Punch after punch, slap after slap, Y/n cried out in pain. It was so intense, unlike anything she had ever felt before. 

Her friend had managed to get her home in time for a pulsating sting to go through her neck, knocking her out for the rest of the night. She didn’t hear about the mall until the next day. It was a logical conclusion to say her soulmate died in that fire. After years and years of bruises and punches it all just stopped. No more stubbed toes or bruises on her legs; it was all gone.

For months after, she would stare at the newspaper clipping with the pictures of everyone who died. Somewhere amongst all the fallen faces was her soulmate. Part of her was sad she didn’t get to meet them. That everyone around her got their fairytale ending while she was destined to be alone. 

She had already made her peace with never finding them but now it felt permanent. It wasn’t some lie she was telling herself because of the long delay - it was the truth.

On one particular day in March, Y/n got off from work hoping for a pick me up. One of her coworkers who was still in high school had found her soulmate during their shift and she couldn’t stand to be around them.

She walked into her local video store and began perusing the aisles. Maybe something with action? A Mystery? She wasn’t in the mood for anything in particular. Just something to keep her distracted for a few hours ‘till nightfall. 

One of the staff rounded the corner, speaking before he could even spot who it was. “Hey, welcome to Family Video what can I-” He smiled when he saw her. “Oh, hey, Y/n.”

She smiled back, “Hey, Steve.”

Steve Harrington, former ruler of Hawkins High, slumped against a shelf and crossed his arms. His “customer helping” voice faded as he eased back into his own personality. Y/n didn’t know Steve well in school, despite being in the same grade. She did, however, become somewhat friends with him over the summer. 

Before the mall fire, she had a cushy job as the receptionist at a nail salon right across from the ice scream shop he worked in. Oftentimes, her co-workers would send her over to Scoops Ahoy to get ice cream for everyone, especially when the humid summer air came into effect. 

What started as friendly hellos and waves with Steve and Robin soon turned into conversations and hangouts during lunch breaks. They would often sneak her scoop of rocky road when their manager wasn’t there to help her get through the day. In return, she would offer a free nail appointment. It wasn’t much but Robin did take her up on the offer once. 

She would like to say they were friends by that point, though they haven’t really talked since the summer. When you spend every day so close to people, it's easy to bond. But when you take that away, it can test the strength of the relationships you’ve built. 

“Looking for anything in particular?” Steve asked, slumping further into the shelf. She shook her head, looking back at all the tapes. “How about romance? We just got in Lady Jane.”

“No,” she responded quickly. “No, romance.”

Nodding, he stood up straight, adjusting his green vest. “Okay, no romance, got it. Well…” he trailed off, rounding a corner.

He didn’t even check if she was following. She was; walking closely behind him as he searched for another film. Finally, he eyes fell on one, picking it up and pressing it against his chest. Both his hands encapsulated the case, laying flatly on the top and bottom. 

“What about Clue? It’s a murder mystery; based off the game.” The words curled up at the end, almost like an invitation to keep pushing.

Y/n scrunched her face, her mouth closing to a thin line. “Getting closer.”

A smile crept on his face. “Okay then, I think I know just the-”

Before he could finish, Robin yelled from across the store, “Hey Dingus! Check this out.”

Sighing, he put down the tape, leaning out of the shelves to see what she needed. “Robs, I’m with a customer,” he told her.

Finally, she turned to look at them, pulling her eyes away from the tv that hung near the reception desk in the middle of the room. “Oh shit sorry- oh it’s just Y/n. Both of you come on!”

“Sorry about this-” Steve told her, walking out of the row of tapes.

Y/n waved a hand to stop him. “It’s okay, I’m not in dire need of a movie right now.”

Chuckling, he looked down at his feet as they approached his co-worker. The static sound of the TV grew as they focused on the reporter's words. 

“This just in, a local Hawkins student found murdered at Forest Hills Trailer Park. The police have yet to reveal the identity of the student…”

“Oh shit,” Y/n mumbled to herself. Steve gave a hum of acknowledgment, tilting his head toward her. “That’s where Eddie lives.”

His head whipped over to look at her. “You know Munson?” he asked.

“Yeah, he used to sell me weed in high school. We’d smoke under the bleachers sometimes.” Taking a minute longer to stare at the new broadcast, she finally looked over at a very surprised Steve Harrington. His eyebrows were raised, eyes wide and not closing. “What? Surprised I know him?”

“I mean yeah but…didn’t take you for a smoker.”

She rolled her eyes. “Like you didn’t smoke too. I saw those cigarettes you used to hide on your breaks.”

“Yeah but I didn’t buy them from Eddie Munson.”

“Does that really matter?”

He opened his mouth to respond but the bell of the store dinged loudly, followed by the voice of a young teen. “Hey Steve!”

Y/n watched as he closed his eyes, the muscles of his face contorting into a grimace. Turning, he shouted “What?”

Two young teens came running in, out of breath from whatever journey it took to get there. The one that yelled was a boy with curly hair muffled by a snapback hat. He had on some weird shirt with a devil covered by a patterned button down left open. The other was a girl. A redhead that was dressed relatively normal compared to her friend. 

“How many phones do you have?” the boy asked, leaning over the front desk. 

“Dustin, can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?” 

Ignoring the response, he repeated his question. “I don’t care about your flirting, I asked how many phones you have!”

Walking up behind Y/n and Steve, Robin joined the conversation. “Three if you count the phone in the back,” she said.

The two freshmen looked at each other, some sort of silent conversation going on. “That could work,” the girl finally said. 

Before anyone could protest, Dustin threw his bag over the counter, jumping over to follow it. There were immediate protests from Steve as the young kid took helm of the computer, the redhead running around the side to join him. 

“Woah woah woah!” Steve shouted.

“No time for dilly dallying, we have a man to track down!” 

As the boys got into a somewhat heated argument, Y/n figured she wouldn’t be getting a movie any time soon. Leaning over to Robin, she whispered, “I’ll just come back later.”

The girl flashed her sympathetic look. “Are you sure? I could help you out-”

“-It’s all good, you’ve got your hands full.”

“Max, just explain to them what’s going on I’ve got this!” Dustin called out. 

“Okay, Jesus, I was getting to that!” the girl responded. 

Y/n turned, making her way out from behind the counter and toward the front door empty handed. She tried not to eavesdrop but it was hard with only them in the store.

“We need to find Eddie Munson,” Max began.

She could hear Steve groan. “Everybody with this Eddie Munson shit!”

“You’re just mad about me having an older male friend,” Dustin chimed in.

“No, I don’t, but I do have a problem with you bringing it up every five seconds.”

“I do not bring him up-”

“-Oh you so do.”

“Guys stop!” Max screamed at them. “They think Eddie killed Chrissy.”

“Chrissy Cunningham? The cheerleader? She’s the one they found dead?!” Robin added.

Y/n felt her breath hitch as she grabbed the handle on the front door. She wanted to walk out, to ignore the sad news which seemed to be a constant now in their town. But something urged her to keep listening.

“Yeah,” Max continued. “But he didn’t do it. He ran from his house last night and we just need to find where he is.”

Eddie was in trouble? Why was he with Chrissy Cunningham? Thoughts raced through Y/n’s mind at a rapid pace, but not one of them was to push the door and leave. Something in her felt like she needed to help. She could have a lead, she be useful to them.

Not deliberating any further, she turned around. “I might know where he is,” she announced. 

The four teens fell silent, turning to look at her. “You do?” Max asked. 

Dustin, swiveling in his chair and asked, “I’m sorry, who are you?”

Y/n opened her mouth to respond but found she didn’t know what to say. Who was she to them? Was she a friend? They’ve barely spoken in months. They weren’t co-workers, never working in the same place before if you don’t count the mall as a whole. 

Thankfully, Steve answered for her. “She’s a friend. Dustin, Max, this is Y/n.”

Max gave a small wave which she returned, however, Dustin got right to the point. “You know where Eddie is?”

She nodded. “Maybe. I know where he hangs out. If this is serious he probably went to Rick’s place.”

“Rick?”

“Reefer Rick? It’s where Eddie gets his supply from,” she clarified. 

“Do you know where this Reefer Rick lives?” Robin asked.

Y/n nodded. “Okay then!” Dustin announced, getting up from his stool. “Let’s go.”

“What now?” Steve protested. “This is our busiest day, we can't just leave!”

“Steve!” Max shouted at him. “This could be a code red.”

Y/n frowned at the girl's words. Code red? What was a code red? It was clear Steve understood. His demeanor changed, shoulders slumping back as his gaze softened. Looking over at Robin first she only gave a nod. Finally, he looked at Y/n. “Are you okay to show us where he lives?”

“Y-yeah. I’m off for the rest of the day so…”

“Perfect!” Dustin shouted. “Then let’s get going!”

🎬🎬🎬

By the time they were approaching Reefer Rick’s house it was already dark out. The sun had set a while ago, almost blinding her in the back seat of Steve’s car. He had apologized for the seating arrangement when they got in. She was sandwiched between the two freshmen in the back who wouldn’t stop asking her questions on how she was involved.

As she told Steve to turn left down Rick’s street, Dustin asked another question. “Are you Eddie’s soulmate?”

“What? No!” She responded immediately. “We’re just friends and barely at that. He was my dealer.”

“How do you know you aren’t soulmates?” Max asked.

Y/n paused for a moment before responding simply with, “Cause I just know.”

Every time she told people her soulmate died, they would give her sympathetic apologies. It made her sick to her stomach. She was already trying to grapple with the idea of being alone without ever meeting them. She didn’t need the weight of other people’s condolences on her shoulders. Luckily, they turned into the driveway before anyone could ask further questions. 

Everyone piled out of the car and Y/n finally felt like she could breathe. She stepped into the crips night air, breathing in like she had gone a week without oxygen. It was so refreshing, a new wave of energy washing over her. 

“I don’t see anyone inside,” Robin said, peering into the dark window near the front door. 

“What about there?” Steve asked, pointing over to the boat house. “You think it’s open?”

Max shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.”

Y/n silently followed the four teens who clearly had more experience with this code red business than her. She wondered what it could be. Up until her junior year of high school, nothing strange had ever occurred in Hawkins. It was just a small, boring town that people were barely aware of. But now… she didn’t know what it was now. 

The boat house was unlocked, much to everyone’s surprise, and they all slowly stepped inside. The only light came from the lamp outside which was now seeping through the cracks of the open door.

Quickly, Dustin dug through his bag pulling out multiple flashlights and handing them out. Everyone took one without question, beginning to search around the small room. He held one out for Y/n.

Hesitantly, she took it. “Do you always carry around this many flashlights?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he responded, like it was a normal day for him, walking away he began his search too. 

“Sorry about him,” Steve said, coming up behind her. “Sometimes he doesn’t remember that not everyone has done the things that we’ve done.”

Her head tilted at his words. “And what exactly have you done?” 

Chuckling, he responded, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” He picked up an oar, prodding at the tarp covering the boat.

Stepping closer to him, she responded, “Try me.” 

His breath hitched as his eyes flickered down to the small space in between them. She looked down too, noticing how close she had stepped to him. Heat rose to her cheeks as she peered back up at him, his chocolate brown eyes staring back. 

Y/n liked to think they had a moment, one where she forgot her soulmate was dead. One where there was still the thrilling possibility he might be her match. 

But before she could remind herself of the truth, she was slammed onto the floor, a figure rising from underneath the tarp. There were shouts and screams as something thudded against the wall. Still trying to find her bearings, she felt a hand wrap around her arm.

 “Are you okay?” Robin asked, pulling her to her feet. 

“Yeah,” she said, letting out of breath. Her throat tingled with a sensation she couldn’t quite palace, a hand coming up to graze her neck. “I-I think so.”

“Eddie, he's not a bad guy!” Dustin yelled. 

Y/n and Robin’s attention was brought back to the situation currently at hand. It was Eddie who emerged from the boat, holding a switchblade to Steve’s throat in shock. Steve scurried from underneath the weapon, trying to breath out a response. 

“We’re here to help!” Dustin continued, “This is Max, my friend who never wants to play DND.” Max gave a small wave. “And you know Robin, from band right? She plays the trumpet.”

Robin brought up her hands, mimicking a trumpet motion before regretting her decision and shaking her wrists. 

“A-and Y/n!” he said, motioning to her in the very back. “You know Y/n right?”

Eddie’s eyes scanned over to her, a sense of recognition in his features. “D-Y/n?” he said in a low grumble.

“Eddie, remember me? We used to smoke under the-”

“I-I remember,” he interrupted, his voice softer than before. Slowly, out of instinct or not, the knife began to lower, a click sounding as it flipped back closed. 

Y/n couldn’t stop herself from rushing forward, engulfing him in a hug. His hands tightened around her waist, squeezing her harder than probably intended. “Are you okay? We saw the news.”

She helped him sit back down on an overturned bucket, looking over at her shoulder to make sure Steve was okay. He was, his breaths becoming more regular and Robin soothed his back. 

“I didn’t know where else to go…” Eddie told her, trailing off as he instinctively played with the rings on his fingers.

“Well you’re okay now, got it?” He gave a small nod. “Just tell us what happened.”

“Y-you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

The words echoed through her head, the same words Steve had told her just moments before. What had she gotten herself into?

“Try us,” Max spoke out. 

He glanced at her for a moment, then around the room and everyone's eyes were suddenly on him. 

“Chrissy came to me after school yesterday, wanting to try some of my supply. Then, she tripped over a log and scraped her knee….she…. She was my soulmate.” 

He stopped for a moment, gaging the small reactions throughout the room. “Trust me, I couldn’t believe it either. We talked a little, she wanted to try some stronger stuff so I took her back to my place after the game. 

I was searching in my room for it but when I came out she was…it was like she wasn’t there? Her eyes were blank and she wasn’t responding to anything I was saying. The lights began to flicker all around us and she….she started to float. Shit, like right out of a horror movie ya know? And then… a-and then…fuck.” 

He began to stutter, whatever happened next clearly frightening him more than what he had already told them. Y/n leaned forward, rubbing a hand on top of his. 

“It’s okay,” she soothed. “What happened next?”

Looking up at her, he found the strength to continue. “H-her back slammed into the roof and her limbs…her limbs starting to break in ways that shouldn’t be possible. Then her jaw, and then her eyes…I ran out of there after she fell to the ground.”

The room was silent, nothing but the small waves echoing throughout the room. Y/n was trying to process what he was saying. Trying to find a logical explanation for what Eddie had saw.

“You all think I’m crazy,” he said, curling back. 

“No, we don’t,” Y/n said first. “But there has to be a reasonable explanation for all of this. I mean, maybe she was-”

“-there is,” Dustin interrupted her. She turned back to look at him. “W-what I’m about to tell you guys, might be… a little difficult to take.”

“Okay,” Y/n said, her attention fully on him. 

“You know how people say that Hawkins is cursed? Well, they’re not that far off…There’s another world. A world hidden beneath Hawkins.”

“B-beneath Haw- What are you talking about?” Y/n asked, confused.

“This world is like ours, but darker, and sometimes it bleeds into ours.”

“What like ghosts and shit?” Eddie asked. 

Max let out a heavy sigh, “There are somethings worse than ghosts…”

🎬🎬🎬

The last day and a half had been utter chaos. Two more people were dead and it’s all thanks to this Vecna creature - Y/n still didn’t fully understand it. 

They teamed up with even more people on their trek to Lover’s Lake and had another awkward conversation as to why Y/n was there. She even got to properly meet Steve’s ex girlfriend which was…interesting to say the least.

As she made her way through the woods, she felt someone walk up next to her. It was Max, poor Max who had been playing Kate Bush in her headphones ever since they went to the cemetery.

Y/n gave her a smile. “How are you holding up?” she asked. 

The young girl shrugged. “As good as I can be I guess…”

“That’s good…” 

They fell into a silent walk, Dustin leading the group ahead with some of the older teens lagging behind. “Can I ask you something?” Max said suddenly.

“Yeah sure, what’s up?”

“How do you know Steve? He said you’re friends but I thought we were his only friends.”

“Oh…well, we went to high school together,” Y/n began but changed her mind. “But we didn’t really know each other. I worked across from him and Robin in the mall. Kind of became work buddies.”

Max nodded along. “Is he your soulmate?”

She whipped her head toward her. “What’s with you guys and my soulmate?”

“Just curious,” she mumbled, stepping over a log. 

“No, he’s not my soulmate…” 

“Did you ask him?” Y/n shook her head. “Then how do you know it’s not him? Cause like statistically you should’ve found them by now. I mean, I have- had Lucas…I’m not sure he believes in all this soulmate stuff anymore.”

She looked up in the distance where her ex boyfriend was walking with Dustin. Their eyes were glued to the compass in Dustin’s hand. 

Y/n followed her gaze to the boys, mumbling, “I’m not sure I do either.” 

Max furrowed her brows looking back at her. She debated leaving it at that. So many people had asked about her soulmate and every time she refused to discuss the subject further. But this felt different, being with these people, she felt like she could trust them. 

 “My soulmates’ dead,” she blurted out.

It took a moment for Max to think of a response. “Oh…how do you know?”

“The night of the mall fire…I felt this intense pain, worse than I’ve ever felt before and then…” she shrugged. “Nothing. All those years of bruises and cuts gone in an instant…I haven’t felt anything since that night so, I figured they died in the fire.”

She looked next to her, watching as Max interpreted the information. She couldn’t remember the last person  she told about her soulmate. So many sorries and my condolences…Max was staying quiet, it was unlike any reaction she had seen. Something deeper was going on.

“You okay over there?” she asked.

“It…it wasn’t a mall fire…” Max said in almost a whisper.

Y/n felt her heart drop. “What?”

“It wasn’t a fire…it was the-” Max stopped herself, trying to rephrase. “Last year, one of the monsters came out of the Upside Down. It absorbed a bunch of people to get bigger and headed to the mall. We all fought it there.”

“So the pain I was feeling-”

“Was probably them being absorbed into the Mind Flayer… I’m sorry Y/n. If we stopped it the first time-”

“Hey don’t do that,” she interrupted, placing a hand on the girl's arm. They both stopped, facing each other. “It’s not your fault. It’s not any of your faults. I’ll find someone someday. It might not be my soulmate but I’ll still be happy....”

Max stared at her, not fully convinced. “I’ll be fine, trust me.” Ahead of them, the younger friends started giggling. “Go with your friends and listen to Kate Bush.”

She gave her a smile, urging the redhead to not worry about it anymore. The girl did so, walking off to join the conversation. It wasn’t long before another person took her place next to Y/n.

“Girl problems?” Steve asked, falling into the rhythm of her walking.

She rolled her eyes, “Oh yeah we were talking about our periods.” His eyes widened, trying not to comment on the topic. “Oh my god I was joking.”

“Oh,” he said, letting out a long breath. “Okay good I didn’t know what to say.”

Y/n chuckled at his awkwardness. When did he become like this? The Steve she saw in school was a smooth talker. A person who knew how to make everyone fall in love with him. But now, as they were searching for a multi-dimensional gate surrounded by freshmen…it gave him some humility.

“She was asking me about my soulmate again,” Y/n informed him.

Nodding, he asked, “So, about your soulmate…have you found them yet?”

“No, uh…Max was telling me about the Mind Flayer last year? Pretty sure they died during all of that.”

“Oh…” Steve fell silent, not knowing how to react. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, not your fault. I’ve made my peace with it.”

She looked over to him, trying to reassure him that the party’s antics weren’t the cause of her soulmate’s demise. But as she did so, she missed a root sticking out of the ground. Wobbling forward, she felt as Steve reached out, wrapping his arms around her torso. He pulled her up against him, trying quickly to help her regain her balance.

Breathlessly, she looked back up at him and said, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he responded, backing up slightly as he became aware of how close they had gotten. His hands lingered on her back, not too eager to let go. Slowly, she began to step away, pulling both of them back to reality. 

“So…do you have a soulmate? - I mean have you found them?” She fell back into a slow walking pace, Steve still staying close.

“No, not yet. My soulmate doesn’t really feel a lot of pain so it’s been hard to pinpoint who it is. The occasional paper cut doesn’t really help ya know?” Y/n nodded in agreement. “I thought it was Nancy at first… but then she and Jonathan cut their hands to fight the Demogorgon and found each other so, clearly I was wrong.”

“Oh…well that’s-”

“-yeah…so, still looking,” he said, trying to put optimism in his tone. It was clear he didn’t believe it.

As they approached the edge of the lake, Nancy and Robin working to grab a boat, she turned to him.

“I hope you find your soulmate Steve,” she said sincerely. “You deserve someone.”

A small smile formed on his lips and he couldn’t stop himself from looking down to shake it away. “T-thanks.”

“Alright dingus, come on!” Shouted Robin. 

The two of them looked over to see Nancy and Eddie already on the boat, Robin holding out her hand for the two teens. 

Putting an arm out, Steve said, “Lady’s first.”

Smiling, Y/n grabbed Robin’s arm, tumbling into the boat where Eddie helped her down. She watched as Steve climbed on, yelling at Dustin for them to stay on shore before they began to float out onto the water.  

Nancy was quick to take control of the oars, though no matter how much stability to applied, the boat still rocked. Y/n could feel her brain begin to get fuzzy, the constant movement making her slightly sick. 

“You okay?” Eddie asked, placing a hand on her arm. 

Nodding, she tried to steady herself. “Yeah…a little too late to ask that question.”

“Oh my god what are you doing?” Robin asked, pulling the two of them out of their conversation.

Confused, Y/n looked up to see Steve tossing off his yellow sweater. Someone shined a flashlight up at him and she could clearly see the mess of curls across his chest. He was fit, but not in an overly ripped kind of way. More like someone who was born with a fast metabolism and it took a lot of effort for her not to stare. 

“What are you doing?” Nancy asked.

Steve ran a hand through his hair, leaning over the side of the boat. “Well someone has to check to see if that thing is down there.”

“Just-” Eddie began, reaching down to put a flashlight in a plastic bag, handing it to him. “Here.”

He thanked him quickly, ready to dive into the water when Y/n had the sudden urge to reach out to him. “Wait,” she said, placing a hand on his arm. He turned back, catching her eyes. “Be careful, okay? If you don’t see anything, come right back up.”

“Don’t worry I will,” he reassured her before turning and diving under.

The boat shook as he left and Robin hurled herself toward Nancy in an effort to not get wet. Slowly, as it began to settle, they waited. There was a tightness in her chest, a tension that wouldn’t go away until she knew Steve was okay.

Almost a minute and a had passed and she was growing more anxious. 

“Where is he?” she asked no one in particular. 

“He should have come up by now,” Nancy said, checking her watch.

“That’s it I’m going after-”

Steve bursted out of the water before she could finish her sentence. Gasping for breath, he reached for the side of the boat. Feeling breathless as well Y/n reached forward, guiding him to a steady grip.

“It’s down there alright,” he said.

Eddie sighed in relief, “Okay then dude get back up here.”

“Okay,” he said as Y/n began to pull him up. 

Abruptly, she stopped. There was some feeling, something tugging at her and she could tell Steve felt so too. “What are you waiting for?” Robin exclaimed.

“I-I don’t know,” Y/n began. “Steve, we have to hurry.”

“Yeah, oka-”

Before their very eyes, Steve was pulled under water, his grasp quickly leaving hers. Everyone was calling out to him, but it all felt like a distant echo as Y/n dove in after him. It was so sudden she didn’t even remember making the decision as she swam down, trying to grab a hold of her friend.

The water was making her vision blurry but she could see the outline of him being pulled further and further toward a giant red hole at the bottom of the ocean. She kept pushing through the water with all her might as she saw him disappear through the gate. Determination kept her going, knowing that wherever Steve went, she’d be going after him.

She was almost there, the slimy vines just out of reach as a pain seared through her neck. She curled up, instinctively, feeling something strong closing her air pipe. Reaching her hands out, she tried to pull it away but there was nothing there. Nothing but skin touched her fingertips as she tried to relieve herself of the pain. 

Was her soulmate alive? Was this their doing?

Then, something sharp attacked her side. It felt like something was being ripped out of her, seeking teeth into both her sides. She cried out under the water, her supply of oxygen decreasing faster by the second. 

She tried to swim forward, to make it the extra inch to the gate but the pain made her writhe, floating aimlessly in the lake. Is this how she was going to die? At the hands of her soulmate under Lover’s Lake?

In her peripheral vision, she saw something pass her. Then, arms wrapped around her waist, stinging as they collided with the pain. They pulled her down, pushing her until she was taken in by the current of the gate. 

Y/n felt as she was flipped upside down, finding herself tumbling toward a hard surface. Air finally reentered her lungs, just enough through the choking feeling that still clawed at her throat. The pain in her sides hadn’t stopped either, forcing her to roll on her knees. 

Someone knelt next to her, a hand placed on her back. “Y/n, woah, are you okay? What’s happening?”

“Munson, we need help over here?” Nancy yelled.

“Give me a second we have another problem going on!”

Y/n stretched her neck as much as she could to see where Nancy was calling from. A few feet away, lying on the floor in pain was Steve Harrington. There was some bat-like creature chewing into his side as Robin tried to swat it away. Nancy was working on another one, its tail roped around Steve’s neck.

She could barely put two thoughts together as pain soared through her. But what she could see was that her friend was in pain, in the same spots her soulmate was injured in. Whatever strength she had left was depleted as she rolled onto her back.

“Y/n, honey, you gotta tell me what to do? What happened?” Eddie shouted at her.

Through her raggedy breaths she managed to say, “H-help them.”

“What?” he asked, confused.

“Go!”

With one deep breath he stood up looking around him. Grabbing an oar, he ran towards his friend. “Wheeler! Try this!”

Tossing the wooden paddle, Nancy caught it with ease. She took it with both hands, snapping it over her knee as using the now shard wood to stab into the bat on Steve’s neck. It collapsed on impact, loosening its grip around his throat. 

As Steve gasped for air across the deserted lake, Y/n did too. Eddie was the only one who clocked the similarity, giving her a strange look as she sat up, letting all the air she could enter her lungs. 

Turning back to the group, he helped the girls grab the other two bats, pulling them out of Steve’s abdomen. Sudden energy surged through Y/n as the pains in her sides began to subside. She looked up to the group fighting off the remaining bats. She knew what all this meant. What it meant about her and him.

But for now, it could wait. She ran, helping take down the rest of the bats swarming around them. Nancy and Robin made quick work of one while Eddie and her grabbed the other. They ran in opposite directions, ripping it in half. As her piece of the creature fell to the floor, she looked back up, ready to help with the next one. But there was only one left and it didn’t look like Steve needed any help.

He slammed it into the ground over and over again, the guts of the creature spilling like candy out of a piñata. Using his teeth, he ripped off the head, letting its decapitated body fall to the ground. Nancy and Robin were quick to run to his sides, giving him support to lean on as he began to collapse.

Y/n tried to move toward him too, finding herself tripping over her own feet. She definitely hadn’t recovered from almost drowning, still feeling the tingle of water stuck in her esophagus. Eddie was quick to catch her. “Hey, I’m here, don’t worry,” he soothed.

“Guys,” Nancy called out. “We gotta move.” Pointing behind them, they watched as a giant swarm of bats was heading straight toward them.

Eddie leaned into Y/n’s side. “Can you walk?” She nodded. “Okay, let’s get going.”

Everyone was right when they said the Upside Down was an exact replica of Hawkins. You know, just a little dirtier and full of alien creatures.

They were able to find Skull Rock in a reasonable amount of time, using it as a stopping point to patch up everyone’s wounds. Though, most of the patching would go towards Steve who was still bleeding from his stomach. 

Nancy helped lean him against a rock, using part of her shirt to make a bandage since he dove in shirtless. Meanwhile Eddie helped her sit down on the one log they could find with no vines wrapping around it while Robin paced between all of them.

She lifted her shirt up carefully to find a very bruised stomach. Soulmate marks couldn’t cut as deep as the real one but they did always leave something behind. She glanced up at Steve, wounds matching the placement of her injuries. 

“You have to tell him,” Eddie said quietly.

Y/n pulled her shirt back down. “Not now.”

“We might all die here. I think now is as good as time as any.”

“I thought my soulmate was dead,” she mumbled, looking down at the ground still in shock. “And this whole time he’s been in the back of my algebra class. Working across from me at the mall…”

Eddie pulled her attention back to the present. “Listen, Chrissy died less than 24 hours after we found out. I didn’t get time, just make sure you do.”

She looked up to meet his gaze. It was softer than she was used to seeing him. He was always so stern, so broody. These doe eyes suited him. 

“I will,” she told him. “Let’s just get out of here first.”

🎬🎬🎬

Poor Robin. Poor, poor Robin. 

They had been walking through the army surplus store, gathering supplies to trek back to the upside down when they stumbled upon Vickie Sullivan. 

More specifically, Vickie Sullivan and her boyfriend. 

Robin had gone back to the trailer before Y/n could even protest, telling her it probably wasn’t her soulmate. Loads of people dated before finding their other half. But she wouldn’t listen. 

“She just needs some time,” Steve said, picking up another gallon of gasoline. 

“Yeah, I know…” she responded, pushing the cart. 

With Robin gone, this was the first time they had been alone since she walked into Family Video days before. It had only been a few days but so much had changed. 

Steve loaded another gallon into the cart, and Y/n absentmindedly pushed the it again, right into his side. He stumbled forward, using the cart to balance himself. 

“I’m sorry!” She exclaimed. 

“No it’s alright. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Deep in thought?”

Steve crossed his hands, coming around to stand next to her. “Yeah, something like that… Hey, I just wanted to say thank you.”

She tilted her head. “Thank me? For what?”

“Robin told me you were the first one to dive into the lake when I went under. That was pretty heroic.”

“Oh it was nothing,” she said, leaning toward him slightly, their shoulders grazing. 

“No it wasn’t,” he insisted, turning to face her. As she looked up at him, Y/n became acutely aware of how close they were standing. “It was really brave.”

As the words left his mouth, Steve made no move to back up. She could feel his breath on her skin, see the stubble of his mustache. He looked so calm, so unlike how they had all been feeling the past few hours…If she’d let herself, she would get lost in his eyes. 

“I have to tell you something-” she began to say, before there was an interruption.

“We gotta move,” said a voice, moving closer to them. Y/n stepped away first, willing herself to look anywhere but him. Her eyes landed on Nancy. “Jason is here.”

That got them moving. Steve took the cart, taking it to the front to pay as she followed Nancy back to the trailer. Everybody else was already inside, clamoring back to the seats they had taken earlier. 

Only this time, Nancy moved to the back, motioning for her to take the driver’s side seat. She did so, confused, before Steve came running back to them and started the car without a second to waist.

Y/n gave one last look back at Nancy who flashed her a smile of recognition. Maybe she wasn’t as good at hiding her emotions as she originally thought.

🎬🎬🎬

Being back in the Upside Down was the last place Y/n wanted to be. But if it meant stopping all of the disasters for good? She’d do anything. 

“If they get too close, go, okay? Don’t try to be the heroes,” Steve said, his attention directed at Eddie and Dustin who were staying back at the gate. 

“We will,” Dustin said, standing up straighter with pride.

Giving a nod, Steve turned back to her, Robin and Nancy, ready to begin their trek to the Creel House. They were about to leave when Eddie called out for her. She turned back, walking a foot or two to meet him halfway. 

“Tell him,” he whispered, which only made her roll her eyes. “This might be your last chance.”

“I will if we survive,” she rebutted. “Promise.”

Giving a curt nod, he backed up, letting her return to her group. “What was that about?” Robin asked.

“Nothing,” Y/n dismissed, and no one questioned her further. 

The walk to Upside Down Creel House was a lot easier when you were equipped with the right things. Thick combat boots were laced over her feet; dry clothes covering every inch of her body.  

As they approached the front door, the three girls let Steve enter first, paving a path through the vines that laced the floor. As he hoped over one, Y/n would follow, mimicking his movements. She held out a hand behind her, helping Robin and Nancy who were close to follow. The stairs proved to be more tricky then the rest, the living roots moving faster as they inched closer to Vecna. 

Steve was the first to make it up the first flight okay, helping pull Y/n, and arm wrapped around hers. Just as she was reaching for the last step, something erupted in the distance. They both paused and she could feel Nancy grab on to the bag she had thrown across her back. The sound began to soften, echoing away as a rumble took its place. Not before long the entire ground started to shake, loosening her grip.

In a series of quick thinking, Steve yanked on her arm, pulling her up the stairs to stand behind him as he reached for Nancy, then Robin. By the time shaking had subsided, all four of them were safe on the landing. Y/n took a deep breath, silently thanking that everyone was okay.

The celebration, however, was short lived. The vines reached for her ankle first, slithering up her leg until it wrapped around her waist. Another shot out of the wall, taking her wrist and pulling her flat against the surface. 

“Y/n!” Steve yelled. 

Nancy and Robin were quick to her side, already pulling at the vines as she cried out. Steve rose his axe, ready to strike down as another vine wrapped around her neck. As she gasped for air, her eyes bulging out, she saw Steve’s step falter. 

The axe dropped to the floor with a clang. Hands reached up to grab at his throat, wheezing at the sensation he was being choked. Slowly, he looked back up at Y/n, realization setting in. He fell to his knees gasping for a breath. 

“Steve?” Nancy said, looking down at him, then back up at Y/n. 

Robin looked down too, registering what was happening quicker. “Holy shit watch out!”

But she was too slow. They watched as a vine extended from the opposite wall, wrapping around him. Y/n was already in pain, already writhing from the tightness around herself. But feeling Steve’s pain on top of that…it was unlike anything she had ever experienced.

As Steve was pulled flush against the wall, his gaze never left hers. It was a silent cry for help, one look saying everything she needed to know. Did she know? How long? Get me out of these damn vines!

Nancy and Robin were soon pulled back as well, placed on either side of her. All she could do was hope her death would be swift.

She didn’t know how much time passed. It could have been minutes but with the lack of oxygen it felt like hours. Steve had closed his eyes after a period of time, the pain being too much to take. As she started to accept her fate, to fade into the darkness forever, the unthinkable happened. 

The vines let go.

She dropped to the floor, her knees scraping against the hard wood as Robin collided into her. They were all breathing heavily, trying to take in as much air as possible. After getting back to a reasonable breathing pattern, she looked up at Steve. He was staring right back, taking in deep gulps of air as they all slowly stood up. 

There was no mention of what happened. No acknowledgment that the pair of soulmates had finally found each other after so many years of waiting. Just a simple nod before continuing up the stairs. 

🎬🎬🎬

It wasn’t until much later, that they spoke again. After they killed Vecna, after the silent walk back to the gate. After Eddie and Dustin helped everyone climb back through. 

Y/n was about to walk into the trailer, following close behind with tired feet and too much dirt on her face when Steve grabbed her hand. 

She turned back to face him, already knowing what this was about.

“We can talk after we get through the gate okay?” she told him.

“No, I-I can’t wait, just…” He pulled her to the side, out of earshot from a certain young teen. “Did you know? Have you always known?”

“Not until you got attacked by those bats,” she replied softly. “I told you, I thought my soulmate died.”

“If this what you were trying to talk to me about in the army store?”

She nodded. “You have a lot of explaining to do. I’ve gotten punched a lot.”

He chuckled, head drooping down for a moment. “Well, we got all the time in the world now.”

“Are you mad?”

Picking his head back up, he scrunched his brows. “Mad? Why would I be mad?”

“That it’s me…listen, not all soulmates stay together. If you don’t like me like that then-” 

He brought his hands up swiftly, cupping her cheeks. They were warm under his callous touch, so soft and gentle but it still sucked all the breath from her.

He spoke slowly, finding the words as they tumbled out of his mouth. “I’ve…wanted to kiss you since the moment you walked into Scoops last summer….So no, I’m not mad that its you.”

Y/n’s breath hitched as he said those words, his eyes never leaving hers. She blushed under the touch of his thumb, slowly, caressing her cheek as he continued to hold her close. Bringing her arms, up, she let them rest on his extended arms. For a moment, everything else faded away and she could almost forget they were standing in an alternate dimension.

He moved closer to her, barely an inch separating their camouflage-covered bodies. “Is…is this okay?” he asked, his head drooping down slightly.

And for the first time in what felt like ever, Y/n let herself be happy. “Yes,” she responded. “It’s more than okay.”

A smile crept of his lips as he guided them down to meet hers. His lips were soft against hers, he sensation multiplied as she felt not only her senses, but his as well. She never thought she’d get to experience this side of her life. To have someone that in such a short time of knowing her, could pledge their loyalty as her partner in life.

His breath was heavy in her mouth as he let out a groan. He let his arms drift from her cheeks down her shoulders and wrap around her waist. Being held in his arms, the carefulness of his touch - it felt like heroin. 

Y/n reached up, letting her fingers get lost in his hair as he changed his angle, pressing them closer than she thought was possible. His grip tightened on her waist, pressing into a curve that made her giggle in delight.

He pulled back slightly, letting his eyes drift over her figure. She looked back at him, not hiding her smile as she relished in how flushed she had made him.

“What?” he asked, surprised by the sudden our burst of laughter.

“Nothing,” she replied, looking down for a moment to gain her composure. “Just a little ticklish.”

He rested he forehead against hers, mouth ghosting over hers at the temptation of kissing again. “I really like kissing you.”

Her smile returned. “I like kissing you two.”

Before either of them could lean back in for another kiss, Eddie’s voice rang out, echoing as the trailer door opened with flourish.

“How can you two spend another second in this shit hole-“ he paused when he saw them. 

Y/n jumped at the noise, placing a hand on Steve’s chest as he instinctively an arm around her. Realizing it was just Eddie, she let herself relax in his touch with a sigh.

“Oh…” Eddie began again, drawing a logical conclusion. “As happy as I am for you two lovebirds, those bats could comeback any minute.”

“Alright, Munson, we’re coming,” Steve said, annoyed at the interruption - even though he was right.

“Good, cause we don’t need any upside down babies anytime soon!” 

Eddie sprinted back inside, knowing if he stuck around longer, he would get both of their wraths. “Munson I swear to god!” Steve yelled leaving her embrace to run after him.

He swung the door wide open to reveal their friend already climbing up the rope. Eddie gave a salute as he let gravity do it’s work, pulling him through. Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at Steve’s sudden urge to protect her, though they both knew Eddie could do no real harm. 

“You ready?” Steve said, bringing her attention back to him. She lifted her head to see him extended his hand to her.

With a nod, she took it, ready to start the next chapter of her life.

#fanfic #fluff #friends to lovers #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #joe keery #djo #steve harrington #dustin henderson #robin buckley #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fic #stranger things 4 #eddie munson

[cleoluvrr]

fuck up the friendship (rafe cameron x reader)

SYNOPSIS: we're already six feet deep, let's cut the tension

WARNINGS: explicit sexual content

materlist

you entered the party space, the floor packed with people dancing to the music playing through the speakers. you grabbed another glass of water as you and rafe passed a refreshment table. the two of you stood at the back of the room, people watching and enjoying the music in a comfortable silence.

"so...you wanna go dance?" you said as you walked backwards onto the ballroom floor. rafe smiled softly, legs outstretching to follow after you.

rafe dragged you out to midsummers despite your pushback. he told you that it would be fun, but you already knew that he only wanted you to come so he wouldn’t have to be pulled around with his father. 

you hadn’t been to the event in ages, parents leaving you behind at home every year since you turned thirteen and outright refused to attend anymore. you hated everything about the dick-measuring contest of a party; the disgusting display of wealth, the suffocating smell of old lady perfume, and the feeling of middle-aged men wrapping their wrinkly hands around your body when your mother would force you to hug them. 

you never understood why your family came every year, but deep down, you knew. you guys weren’t rich, at least not when compared to the rest of the island club members. your parents ran a business that the tourists loved, and it generated enough money to send you to private school and pay to be a part of the country club. you’ve lived comfortably your entire life, but your parents had to work hard for that. since they weren’t born with a silver spoon in their mouth, they felt that they had to prove to everyone that they were just as good.

they come every year to make connections not only for themselves, but for you. they want to give you the chances they never had, so they drag themselves to events like this to make that possible.

so when you told them you were coming for the first time in almost five years, they were elated.

though, not as elated as rafe.

rafe had been your best friend since sophomore year of high school, when he was a junior. you weren’t sure why he wanted to be friends with you; he was older, more popular, richer. you felt as if you were in two different worlds. that didn’t matter to him though–once he set his sights on you, it was already decided that he would take you under his wing.

you always heard that rafe was an asshole to anyone with less money than him, and maybe that was true, but you’d never experienced it. in fact, he’d never been mean to anyone at all when you were around. as far as you knew, he was an angel. one with an increasingly concerning cocaine habit, but sweet nonetheless.

everyone always told you to stay away from him, or wondered how someone like you could ever be friends with him, but you never understood what they meant by it. to you, he was just rafe; your best friend.

"dance with me." rafe says, arms reaching out towards your direction.

"i am dancing with you?"

"no," he says, pulling you closer, "dance with me." he wraps your arms around his neck, swaying the pair of you side-to-side to the rhythm of the music.

"are you feeling better now?" you asked. he was dreading the party for weeks, and he could barely muster up a smile a few hours ago. he hums a yes, a content look on his face as he looks at you.

"you look so beautiful tonight, y/n." you looked down as your cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "i'm serious. you're stunning."

"i know you're serious. why do you think i'm blushing?" he laughs at that. you could see the smile on his face when you meet his eyes again.

"i make you blush? that's cute."

"shut up." you stepped on his foot, though all he does in response is keep laughing. the two of you remained like this for a number of songs, just enjoying each other's presence.

after being at the gala deep into the night, you decide to call it. rafe says his goodbyes to his friends and a bunch of donors that are acquainted with his father, quite begrudgingly, before he walks you out to the car with him. rafe, with his constant need to show off how much money his family has, chose to have a small limousine pick up the two of you from his house. the driver was standing by the car with the back door open, closing it after you were settled inside.

"that was actually so much fun." you spoke tiredly.

"i told you it would be." he hums from the seat beside you while looking at his phone. you cut your eyes at him.

"you literally begged for me to come because you were dreading spending time with your father. which you ended up doing anyway."

"okay fine," he snorts, "but look at this." he leans in, showing you his phone. he posted a video of you loudly singing to a kehlani song on his instagram story, telling the artist to watch out in the caption.

"i told you to delete that shit, rafe!" you shoved at him in annoyance.

"but it's so cute! i've never seen you smiling like that before."

"yeah, because i'm always around you." he shoves you back, rolling his eyes with a smile on his face. he rests his head on you shoulder, grabbing at your hand and playing with the silver rings adorning your fingers.

he pauses abruptly, sniffing strangely. he turns his head, deeply inhaling by the spot where your neck meets your shoulders. the feeling of his breath on your bare skin makes you shudder involuntarily, but you don't react otherwise.

"you smell really nice." he says against your neck, lips brushing your skin.

"i know." you kept your reply short, knowing that if you tried to form a full sentence, your voice will certainly fail you.

"delicious, really." you bit your lip, trying to keep the inappropriate thoughts that have suddenly begun to attack you at bay. 

"rafe." you sighed out.

"hm?" the blonde hums. he reaches up towards your necklace, toying with the pendant that decorates your chest.

it was a gift from rafe; a birthstone necklace for your eighteenth birthday. 

rafe normally ignored your personal space, but this felt different. it couldn’t be the alcohol–even at his drunkest he never acted like…this. you didn’t have a lot of experience with guys, but you weren’t clueless. you knew that this wasn’t how guys acted with girls they were just friends with.

he took off his suit jacket when he got in the car, the muscles in his arms on full display in the well-fitted button up he wore. his legs looked mouthwatering, muscular thighs straining against the fabric of the slacks keeping them contained. the manner in which he sat with his legs wide open, manspreading, was so tempting.

you wanted to slap yourself for even letting those thoughts come to mind. what was wrong with you? rafe is your best friend. 

you blinked a few times, eyes tearing away from the thickness of his legs and back up towards his lightly flushed face. you swallowed thickly, sure that rafe could see the way your throat bobbed from his position at your neck.

"have you been drinking?" the feeling of your heart thumping against your ribcage at a rapid pace only made you feel more on edge.

"no, i'm very sober." he says, his free hand moving to the small of your back.

"okay…so why are you acting like this right now?" your throat bobbed dryly once again.

“have you ever been touched, y/n?”

the question caught you totally off-guard, the nature of it immediately causing you to head up. you almost had to physically stop your jaw from falling to the floor.

"what?" is all you could respond with, more than sure that you misheard him.

"i’ve been thinking…” he trails off for a moment. “you’re almost nineteen, and i’ve never even seen you flirt with a guy.”

“okay, so?” you lick your lips, barely able to get your words off your tongue.

“so…you aren’t worried about going into college being inexperienced?” you shrugged, unsure of what he wanted you to say.

“i’ve never really thought about it.” the words left you softly, voice slightly shaky from nervousness.

“college guys are different, y’know. they don’t like girls that haven’t ever done anything.” he says. “that don’t know anything.”

“rafe…” you whined. you felt humiliated as he pointed out your lack of experience with boys at your age. 

you and rafe were complete opposites in that aspect. you never really thought about sex, unless you were in the lone darkness of your room back home. the only guy you ever really thought about was him. he was involved in almost every part of your life, and it was hard to talk to other guys when he took up so much of your attention.

rafe, however…well–rafe got around. there was nothing he hadn’t done, and you didn’t have to ask to find that out. he loved to talk to you about his sexual endeavors, and you always tried your best to drown out all the vulgar details that he never attempted to spare you.

“i’m just asking as a concerned friend, y/n.” his blue eyes flicker up to meet yours, the ocean color much darker than you remembered. “has anyone ever touched you?”

“no!” you were short with your reply again, face hot and feeling flustered. “but that doesn’t–it doesn’t matter.”

“it doesn’t matter?” he sounds skeptical, brows rising to the middle of his forehead. “you don’t want me to teach you?”

“teach me, what?” your brows went up just as far as his. you were met with silence, rafe’s penetrating eyes a replacement for a verbal answer. “i don’t think friends are supposed to do those…things with each other.” you gulped again, the temperature inside your body rising the longer the conversation continues. 

“why not? it’s smart to do those ‘things’ with someone that you trust.” the blonde chuckles at the avoidance of explicit language. "why is your heart beating so fast?" he asks, moving the hand that was previously playing with your necklace to where the muscles lies to feel it bang against your chest.

that only makes it beat faster.

"because you're making me nervous." your voice gets caught in your throat.

"i make you nervous?" he asks teasingly. you don't answer. "hm? can you answer me?"

"yes," you whisper, feeling him smile against your warm skin, "you're making me nervous."

"really?"

"rafe." he ignores the callout.

"how does this make you feel?" he presses his lips to your skin, soft kisses ghosting against your exposed neck.

"rafe." he continues his antics, the furnace in the pit of your stomach burning stronger with every placement of his plump lips.

"does this make you nervous too?"

"stop." your voice comes out pathetic and weak. you weren’t sure if you actually wanted him to stop.

"do you really want me to?" your mind is fuzzy, too focused on how he's making you feel. "hm? i will if you do. i just wanna help you…wanna teach you some things. don’t you trust me?" he stops the barrage of kisses to whisper in your ear, patiently awaiting an answer.

you felt like you were going crazy.

you’ve always daydreamed of something like this happening, but that was it. dreams. you’re a hormonal, young adult and rafe is undeniably attractive–of course you would think silly things like that. there's a little voice in the back of your head telling you to snap out of it, to not go this far with a boy that’s been your closest friend for years.

it makes you want to think about how many other people he's done this with, how he's just doing this with you because he just wants to get his dick wet for the night, and you’re the closest girl to him. how you’ve barely even had a first kiss, and how it makes no sense for you to do god knows what in a car with said boy. 

the other part of you doesn't care and wants to give in to what he's trying to convince you. it doesn't care that it probably isn’t–definitely isn’t a good idea. that this is so out of left field and completely inappropriate–and that's the part that wins.

"yes." you’re as quiet as a mouse, sure that the sound of the car covered up your voice.

"yes, what?" he asks sweetly, rubbing his lips against the cartilage of your ear.

"yes, rafe, i trust you." you nearly whined, desperate for him to keep going. he smiled, planting a kiss to the ear his lips were resting against.

"good."

rafe goes back to the junction of your shoulder, more firmly this time. sliding the hand on your chest up your neck and to your jaw, he turns it away to gain more access. he leaves rough, wet kisses all over, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin.

he trails the kisses down further, marks left in his wake as he leaves burgundy hickeys over the tops of your breasts, the skin left exposed by the dress you wore. he moves the fabric of the skirt out of the way, a knee placed between your legs to keep them open as he hovers for a better angle. he pauses his assault, coming up for air. he looks at your frame beneath him, panting, eyes glassy and lipgloss completely bitten off.

"you look so cute right now" you mewled pathetically in response, arching your back to push your chest closer to him in an attempt to make him start again. "calm down, pretty girl. i'm right here." he says.

"rafe, please." you threw your head back against the seat, exhaling deeply. "don't mess with me right now."

"you want me to stop?"

"you're about to make me mad." you groaned, annoyed with his antics.

"i'm sorry, baby." he smirks like something is funny. "you're just so fun to play with." he steadies himself with a hand on your hip, the other one wrapped around your neck, thumbs grazing the center column in an up and down motion.

"you aren’t a very good teacher." you gritted out, utterly frustrated.

"i’m not?" you shook your head. he sits back down in his seat, grabbing you to pull you over his lap. "first lesson. make me hard." he says.

"wh-what?" you stuttered in complete shock, stumbling over one simple word like an idiot.

"do i need to repeat myself?" he begins pressing open-mouthed kisses to your neck, up the center of your throat, and nipping at your jaw. you moan quietly at the feeling of his lips, pushing against his shoulders instinctively. "make me hard. no guy can fuck you with a soft dick."

you lick your lips, lack of experience leaving you clueless as to where to even start.

reaching around his head to grip the hair at the nape of his neck, you pulled his plush lips against yours in a bold move. you licked into his mouth hesitantly, the taste of mint toothpaste and bourbon hitting your senses immediately. rafe groaned against your lips, fisting the material of the dress in his hands; the bold choice seemed to have an effect on him. you did not go unaffected, the sound released from his throat sending a surge of heat through your entire body.

rafe was patient– letting you bite at his lips experimentally and tease his tongue with yours every now and then. you had no idea what you were doing, and you were more than sure that he could tell.

he pulls you closer to him, deepening the kiss with a sudden burst of confidence and passion. it could not be compared to the soft way you were kissing him just moments ago. his roughness against your mouth and the tightening grip he had on your hips did not match his usual sweet demeanor, the fierceness in his motions throwing you for a loop.

“jesus christ. do i even know this guy?” is the thought that hits your mind.

"sit on me." he whines, pulling away briefly. he squeezes the flesh beneath his hands, urging you to sit down all the way.

settling in his lap, you let yourself rest your weight completely on him instead of hovering. rafe grinds his hips up into you when you do this, letting you feel the barely contained bulge in his pants. you sucked in a breath of air, attempting to pull away, but he grabs the back of your neck to keep you from moving. the blonde was starting to take control of the situation again, clearly far more experienced.

you found a moment to pull away eventually, rafe chasing after with a string of saliva connecting your lips. he licks it away, the action sending your mind into a foggy mess of arousal.

"shit. hold on." you said, panting heavily above him. the boy kneads your flesh through the satin material of the gown, running his thumb over your swollen lips covered in our shared saliva.

"what is it, princess?"

"rafe," you ran a hand through the back of his hair, "why.."

"why, what?" he moves his hand back down to your neck, rubbing the bruises on the skin he made a few minutes earlier. "can you use your words, pretty girl?"

"why did you do that?"

"do what? this?" he grinds his hips up into you again and you whimper, falling forward against him to hide your face in his neck. he chuckles, pressing a wet kiss beneath your ear. "i wanted to show you how good you’re doing, that's why."

"i hate you." you muttered against his skin.

"oh, i'm sure you do."

you couldn't think clearly anymore, unable to form a full thought that wasn’t about what's going on in this car right now. you don't know how far you want to take this, but you didn't want to stop either. you'd never slept with anyone, your first real kiss was just given away to the boy beneath you moments ago.

"how much do you want to show me?" you said boldly, surprising the both of you.

"i hope you know what you're getting yourself into." he smiles lazily with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"i don't," you admit, leaning back to your original position, "but that's why i'm asking you to show me." you locked gazes with his, watching as his pupils blow out and his irises darken.

he leans forward and you meet him halfway. he laps messily at your lips and grazes the roof of your mouth with his tongue, the wet sounds of sloppy kissing and heaving breathing filling the silence of the limo. when rafe grips your neck again, he uses the grasp to keep your lips together until he decides you can come up for air. 

he steals your breath away and you let him, the insistence of his tongue causing your shared saliva to run down your chin, no doubt ruining the makeup you worked on for hours earlier in the day. moaning against his wet lips, the obscenity of the kiss sent a blinding heat through your lower body.

suddenly, rafe’s hand grazed a nipple through the fabric of your dress. the action made you shiver involuntarily. he brushes over it a few times before covering your breast with his entire hand, squeezing it roughly. your body jerked against his, unable to control the reaction it had to his touch. he broke the kiss, the sound of you whimpering capturing his attention.

"you're so sensitive. do you like the way i touch you? how i take control over you?" he asks with a rough voice.

you were at a complete loss of words. not being used to being spoken to this way, you could only respond with a nod. rafe doesn't bring up an issue with your answer. you felt as your thin underwear began to grow damp, the fabric sticking to your skin as he palmed at your chest.

with glassy eyes, you watched as he groped your clothed breasts, brushing over your pebbled nipples and kissing the fresh hickeys as he worked on making new ones. rafe gazed up at your dazed expression, completely entranced with the unfiltered reactions. he’d never seen you so desperate.

"you're so adorable." he whispers against your neck.

"shut up," you respond. your breath stutters when he pinches a hard nipple through your dress, leaving it tender and nearly making you faint. he dropped his head back down to your chest, wrapping his mouth around your clothed breast. the action left you feeling dizzy, the sting of the pinch went directly to your core, leaving you clenching around nothing as you leaked pathetically into your underwear.

"rafe, stop! you're gonna leave a stain." you whined, pushing him off weakly. he pulls away begrudgingly, clearly displeased with the complaint.

"i don't give a fuck about this dress." he nearly growls.

he switched to the other breast, taking it into his mouth and tugging at the satin with his teeth. he licks roughly at the hidden nipple while a hand sneaks up to yank down one side of your dress, spreading the saliva that seeped through the fabric onto your damp skin. you hissed, the coolness of the air-conditioning causing the bud to harden even further from the wetness. you were desperate to feel his mouth lave across the bare skin. you looked up at the roof of the car, head heavy and feeling drunk with pleasure. he backs away suddenly, his hands frozen in place as he looks at you closely.

"rafe..." he groaned at the sound of his nickname leaving your mouth in such a pathetic plea for him to keep going. you ground your hips down against his in search for something to ease the throbbing between your thighs. you were beginning to lose it–your friend was single-handedly driving you insane in under fifteen minutes.

"what do you want me to do? use your words, beautiful," he looks up at you, his eyes wild and filled with lust. he ran his hands over your thighs, moving the skirt of the dress to expose your bare legs through the slit. you pulled his face towards your chest, lip captured between the sharpness of your teeth. “your second lesson is to tell me what feels good.”

"can you kiss me here, please?" your voice is quiet, embarrassed that you were begging for him to touch you.

your head fell back, all thoughts of embarrassment are gone when he pulls down the top of your dress slowly, releasing your breasts from their constraints. you weren't wearing a bra, the structure of the dress leaving no need for one; you were completely exposed to him.

rafe groans, his lips encasing one of the buds and releasing it with a wet 'pop.' he flattens his tongue against you, moving it in an upwards motion and repeating the action twice more. hovering over your chest, he opens his mouth wide to let his saliva drip down onto you before licking it back up with long drags of his tongue.

your clit pulsed intensely, eyes falling shut at the overwhelming feeling. rafe kept going, sucking and biting at your nipples like his life depended on it. his neat hair was ruined, the repeated gripping and tousling of the locks by you leaving it a complete mess. he groans against you when the manicured nails attached to your fingers scratch at his scalp.

"rafe," he dick twitched under you when you moaned his name, "please touch me. i need it." he hummed in acknowledgement, finally pulling away from your thoroughly dampened chest. strings of saliva connect his lips to your skin.

"are you wet for me, pretty girl?" the way he looks up at you through his lashes with swollen, red lips and a chin covered in his own spit is a pornographic scene.

you recognized the craving in his eyes immediately; they were a reflection of your own. with your usual shyness and critical thinking skills gone long ago, you grabbed rafe’s hand and placed it between your legs, allowing him to feel what he's done.

"fuck..." he cursed, frozen in place.

you squeal when he grabs you roughly, sitting you on one of his knees instead of over his lap. he watches your face as he pushes his flexed thigh up against your core, moving your hips against the tense muscle.

placing your hands on his shoulders, your steadied yourself as the hot pleasure flooded your body. he narrowed his eyes at you, gripping your waist tightly as he slid you back and forth across his thigh.you clung to his forearm at his roughness, the feeling of his fingers digging into the flesh both painful and arousing.

"does that feel good, baby?" you nodded, words unable to roll off your tongue properly.

rafe picks you up again, placing you back in the seat of the car. he turns to you and fits his body against your side, hiking the pink dress up and opening the slit to reveal your ruined underwear. he bites his lip as he drags a finger up and down the soaked fabric, in awe at the way it glides so easily. he pulls away, holding his fingers up to your face.

"can you get these wet for me, sweet girl?" you comply, allowing him to place them into your open mouth.

he uses his free hand to wrap around your body, groping at your bare chest from behind. the hand owning the digits that were previously encased by your mouth move back down between your legs. he uses the pads of his fingers to rub harsh, tight circles into your swollen clit, the sounds of your wetness filling the back of the car.

you grabbed his wrist in one hand, feeling your release building quickly.

you tremble against his body and he whispers sweet words into your ear, soothing you with wet kisses on your neck. you grind yourself into his merciless fingers, desperately after chasing your high as the heat spreads throughout your entire body.

"m'gonna cum," you say, on the verge of babbling mindlessly.

"you’re gonna cum already?” he chuckled at your whining, his head shaking. “how cute.”

his movements speed up unexpectedly, rubbing over your clothed pussy with fervor. your eyes squeeze shut, the pleasure building so quickly that you couldn’t keep them open any longer. the hand gripping his wrist moves up to his head, holding onto his messy hair for leverage. all of the restraint you had before had completely disappeared, hips jerking sharply into your friend's hand as you reach your peak.

"rafe-" you start loudly. the owner of the name clamps his free hand over your mouth and hushes you.

"we aren't alone, remember?" you nod, biting your lip to keep quiet, but he keeps his hand in place anyways just in case.

you whimper, thighs clamping around rafe’s hand tightly. he continues to palm and rub at your sensitive center, aiding you all the way through your climax instead of stopping despite how much your body twitches against him.

"mmm, you're taking it so well baby. making such a mess for me." you whine at his words, the sentence going straight to your gushing cunt.

the nails of your free hand dig into his arm, and the other continues pulling at his hair harshly in desperation. he groans deeply as he drags out your for his own pleasure, watching as you squirm against his hold, moaning his name pathetically through his palm.

"you're such a good girl for me," he praises into your ear, "so, so good. you learn so quickly.”

you pant against him, chest heaving and a few lonely tears falling from your eyes. you ache for something to fill your empty cunt, the feeling of his hands rubbing at your clothed core no longer enough to satiate the desire. you follow the motions of his hands with your hips now, still in a daze, unable to stop despite the overstimulation.

rafe slips his hand past the waistband of your panties, slipping his fingers through your folds and collecting the wetness that he created. you let out another pathetic whine; the feeling of his bare skin against yours causing your eyes to roll back into your head unconsciously. 

"i know, pretty girl." he coos into your ear. he puts his glistening fingers to his mouth, moaning at the taste of you. he wraps a hand around your throat, squeezing it as he pulls you into a messy kiss. he pulls away, looking at your fucked out expression in awe.

he suddenly glances up towards the window in front of us and lets out a string of curses. you lift your head from his shoulder, reacting in the same way when you look out of the window.

the two of you rush to fix yourselves, the sight of your neighborhood filling the dark car windows. rafe grabs napkins from somewhere in the car, using them to wipe your chin, chest, and thighs clean, apologizing when he touches sensitive areas. he cleans his own hands and face off, throwing on his suit jacket while you adjust your dress back into its original state. 

the limo pulls in front of your house, the sight of your parents’ cars and the lights on in their room shaking you slightly. you suck in a deep breath, taking in everything that just happened. you gnaw on your bottom lip, gloss long gone, and swallow deeply.

“what the fuck did i just do.”

you look over at matteo to gauge his reaction, only to find him staring already. you blush and start laughing, which prompts him to as well. your eyes rake over his body, and immediately spot the large bulge in his dress pants. the laughter fades into silence, feeling terrible for leaving him like that. what exactly do you do in a situation like this?

he catches you staring and smiles, head shaking as he laughs softly.

"i'm sorry about..." you trail off awkwardly, not knowing what to say, "that." you decide. he chuckles, moving to a seat closer.

"it's okay, don't worry about it." he says..

"well, um, i guess i should go. it's pretty late." you tell him, reaching for the door handle.

he intercepts, pulling you back towards him gently. he grabs your jaw with a firm grip and kisses you softly, sending butterflies to wreak havoc in your stomach. he massages your lips with his, the sweet movements drastically different from how he kissed you moments earlier. he pulls away, smiling with low eyes.

"i don’t think i can let the college boys have you..." he says softly, his eyes containing a look you’d never seen before.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #outer banks #rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron x oc #obx fanfiction #obx1 #obx2 #cleoluvrr fics #rafe cameron smut #obx3 #obx fic #rafe imagine

[attic-club-sandwich]

How they are Handling your Disappearance Pt. 2

Side Characters edition!

Okay you guys wanted more angst, so here you go! lol A part 2 with the side characters was requested, so I wrote for Diavolo, Simeon, Luke (purely platonic), and Solomon. I left Barb out because i'm very unsure of his role as of right now in Nightbringer. I hope you guys enjoy, please let me know what you think! You'll probably need some tissues again so prepare yourself! lol

Read Part 1: Brothers

Part 3: MC Returns

Genre: Angst, Hurt.

Taglist: @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @sassykattery @amberrskiies @a-hidden-gem @obey-me-posts @otomefoxystar @siofrantic @flemmingbamse i'm also going to tag @yourboyhack @ihatecorns @cherrybakewelltea and @exrellian too since you liked the first part! MC's return will be next! :3

But if you want to be tagged in my future work please fill out this form!

rose divider by @/firefly-graphics

The brothers were the first to be aware of your disappearance, but the news traveled fast between all of the people who were closest and dearest to you. No one knew where you went, but they knew one thing for sure: they were doing anything possible to bring you back home. After weeks of searching every inch of the Devildom, it was becoming apparent that you were no longer in the same realm. This of course sent a new wave of panic through everyone. Where did you go, MC? Why didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving?

❤️Diavolo❤️

If anyone should feel responsible for your disappearance, it’s The Demon Prince. 

He is incredibly perplexed and disturbed by the fact that his human exchange student disappeared right out from under his watchful eye. 

Diavolo usually has a very outgoing and joyous attitude, but it’s not the same since you left.

Instead, he becomes numb. Sad. Determined to do everything he can to find you.

Lucifer had come running to him in a state of panic, informing him that they couldn’t find you.

He rarely saw Lucifer act that way, so he knew it had to be serious.

He joined in on the search for you too. 

Barbatos tried convincing him to stay at the castle, but he couldn't just sit and do nothing. The peace between the human world and the Devildom is at risk.

After days and weeks of searching with no results, he becomes depressed.

He uses every connection, every resource he has to find you.

But he can’t.

Not even the most powerful being in all the Devildom can locate one human.

To disgrace not only the Devildom, but his Father… It's too much to bear. 

I’m such a poor excuse for a demon, how could I lose them so easily?

He sits at his office desk, staring down at the paperwork he’s supposed to be finishing. He's severely behind.

But instead of picking up the pen, his hands are clutching at his auburn hair as tears stream down his cheeks. 

Barbatos walks on him in this state several times.

The sight of the dark, heavy bags under the Prince’s eyes causes a pang of sadness in his heart. He longs to comfort him. 

But the Prince has become distant from him. 

He doesn’t understand why Barbatos doesn’t use his powers to find you in such desperate times. 

He’s confused. Angry. 

He orders Barbatos away, and rests his head into his folded arms, wishing you were wrapped up in them instead. 

Wherever you are, MC, I promise we will find you. We’ll bring you home.

💛Simeon💛

When Simeon learns of your disappearance, he almost doesn’t believe it. 

But when he’s forced to face the reality of your absence, he feels it deep within his heart.

His usual calm demeanor starts to crack, but he wants to stay brave for Luke.

He doesn’t want to scare the young angel. 

At first, he’s restless, pacing through the corridors of Purgatory Hall, trying to think of any way to contribute to your search.

But it’s been weeks. And still no sign of you. 

Now he sits in one of the arm chairs in his bedroom, gazing out the window. 

My little lamb, where have you disappeared to?

A book that he’s given up reading rests on his lap, his fingertips ghosting over the corners of the pages. 

He wishes you were here with him, sitting comfortably in his lap while he whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

His eyes well up with tears at the thought. 

Luke checks in with him often, bringing him updates when he can and suggesting they get out of his room for a while. 

He sits with Luke in a cafe for a while, nursing a cup of coffee while Luke chatters about all of the things he’s going to do with you when you return. 

This should cheer him up, but instead it sends a wave of indescribable sadness washing over him. 

It’s not Luke’s fault, of course. 

He appears to be handling it better than he is. 

Simeon, who normally thrives on the joy he brings others through conversation and gentle smiles, requests to be alone. 

He shuts himself away in his room, finally letting the tears fall. 

His heart burns with grief as his body trembles. 

As a writer, he figures the only thing he can do is compose a letter of his feelings for you.

MC, My love, please return home as soon as you can. Are you safe? I think of you constantly. Your absence brings a great sadness over me that I haven’t felt in quite some time. Even as a well known author, my words alone cannot express how deeply I miss and care for you. I love you, MC. I long to feel the warmth of you by my side once more. -Simeon

💙Luke💙

They try to go easy on telling Luke the news of your disappearance. 

The young angel knew something was wrong when Simeon sat him down, a serious expression painted across his face. 

“W-What?! MC is gone?!” 

His heart is full of sadness and confusion, worried about where you could have possibly ran off to.

You wouldn’t just leave him without telling him where you were going, right?

He tries not to think about that. 

So he puts all his energy into baking. 

Desserts and pastries of all kinds line the kitchen tables and counters of Purgatory Hall. 

Barbatos walks into the kitchen to see flour and a variety of different colored icing all over. 

But there is Luke, frosting on his nose and tears in his eyes, baking away. 

“I-I have to make sure there’s plenty of desserts for them to eat when they return!”

Luke offers several pastries for Barbatos to take to the brothers. 

He doesn’t usually take kindly to them, but he knows they are working hard to find you.

He eventually slows down, growing tired from his baking frenzy. 

Simeon goes to check on him, and finds the little angel asleep at the table, his head cradled in his arms and surrounded by a mountain of cookies he just got done baking. 

He stirs a little when Simeon carries him to bed. 

“M-MC…” he whimpers. “They’ll come back, right?”

He’s half awake now, aware of Simeon tucking him into bed. 

The older angel gives him a sad smile. “Of course Luke, they love you so much. I know they’ll return home soon.”

Luke sniffs, a tear falling down his cheek as he begins to drift back to sleep. 

“I-I miss them…I want them to try all of my desserts…”

Simeon wipes away his tears, attempting to hold back his own.

Luke begins to snore softly, dreaming of baked goods and picnics where you are there to share them with.

🖤Solomon🖤

When you first go missing, Solomon is confused. 

You were just with him, where did you go? Is this some sort of joke?

His worry causes the demon brothers to panic. 

Solomon is never too bothered by anything. He’s seen a lot of things in his lifetime. 

But when you go missing suddenly with no explanation?

That’s something that terrifies him. 

He hears the news from the brothers that your pact is no longer active with them. 

That worries him even more. 

He immediately jumps into action.

He searches the location of where you were last seen and picks up on lingering traces of magic.

That's odd, he thinks. He was proud of how far you've come with your abilities as his apprentice, but he knew this magic was way too strong to be yours.

This was the work of someone much more powerful.

Nonetheless, a flutter of hope rises in his chest. He's one step closer to finding you.

He analyzes the magic, and comes to the conclusion that you were transported through time to a past version of the Devildom.

Once he connects all the dots, he uses Barbatos' power to find you.

Of course, it takes a few tries, but he finds you. 

He let's out a breath of relief as he gathers you into his arms, squeezing you tight.

You sob into his chest as he holds you.

His poor, adorable apprentice. Lost and confused.

"There there, MC. It's going to be alright. We'll get you home soon."

But now he’s stuck there too, with no way to contact the brothers or Diavolo to tell them of your location. 

He could, theoretically return but he wouldn't dare go back to the present without you by his side.

Lucifer about murdered him already, and you desperately needed his help.

He secretly couldn't bear the thought of leaving you alone.

But this will be interesting, he thought.

Let's see how this plays out.

#part 2 lets goooo #writing luke's brought me to tears #he's such a sweetie he doesn't deserve it T_T #anyways i hope you guys like! #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me angst #obey me writing #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #obey me! shall we date? #obey me! one master to rule them all #obey me brothers #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

[lost-in-beacon-hills]

Someone has probably already pointed this out but mentoring is hell. When Snow and all the other kids get assigned to being a mentor for the games they all end up falling for their tribute in a way. Or at least most of them do. They develop soft spots for them. Snow falls for Lucy Gray. Lysistrata fell for Jessup. Even Juno shows remorse over Bobbins death. Nearly all these capitol born children find out when mentoring that the kids they watch die are actually people.

At nearly every turn in the ballad of songbirds and snakes you see all capitol born citizens get personally involved with them. And when they inevitably lose them they all become different. It changes who they were. Each of them gets a little more convinced that their kid isn't district. Snow even pushes the idea that Lucy Gray is practically capitol. Within the mentoring they all view their tribute as the exception. The one that doesn't belong to a district. Their tribute is always better or smarter or kinder than the rest. A few of them even get saved by their tribute. The tribute didn't have to do it but they did. So to them they can't possibly be from a district.

Making the victors mentor the children from their own district is fucked in a lot of ways. Every year they are forced to get close to another kid, knowing their families back home are depending on them to do their best to bring them back. They try their damnedest to save them but the odds aren't always in their favor. It takes away the opportunity for their capitol citizens to humanize them while making them isolated on all sides. They don't want the capitol citizens getting too close because if they do then they'll realize these are people. They allow the winners to go home while being the richest in the district. In twelve, we see that everyone is starving while Haymitch is fine. This helps isolate the victors even more.

Who would want to look at their winner when people are dying and they are doing perfectly fine? Who would want to look at the person that didn't bring your child home? They may know the capitol is to blame but the mentor always shares that responsibility in their mind.

It's part of the punishment for the victors too. It's not enough to force them into prostitution and sex slavery. You need more than bodily control over them to keep them broken and beaten down.

The capitol does such a good job at isolating and punishing victors. You're forced to mentor a child every year that you may or may not know. Half of them are already dying or too weak to fight back and yet you are their only chance of survival. You have to be willing to forgive your fellow mentors for the actions of their tributes because they are the only ones who will ever truly know the hell of losing everything. They are the ones that understand the hate from all sides. The victors are hated by the president, their own districts (outside of the career districts but they have their own fucked problems) and by the kids they have to shepard to death.

Snow's games is designed to make them view the other districts as the enemy and for the most part it works. They want the victors to hate each other but by having control over everything else all they are left with is each other. Even if they wanted to hate each other there would be no point. They have no one else. Their games change them. No one back home is able to pick up their pieces.

In bosbas he reflects that all the capitol mentors now are bonded. It's a club with an unbreakable connection. I think he saw how dangerous it was to let their citizens be too close and just how painful it was to do that job. Imagine being one of the few like Haymitch that had 20+ years of failure to haunt them with a district full of children blaming them for the losses.

#everlark #hunger games #thg #ballad of songbirds and snakes #bosbas #coriolanus snow #president snow #haymitch abernathy #enobaria #brutus #johanna mason #finnick odair #lucy gray baird #district twelve #gloss #cashmere #wiress #beetee #chaff #mentoring #panem #katniss everdeen #peeta mallark

[rhinestonz]

☆ FRAGILE ☆

People appreciate beauty in many different ways. Some admire from afar , some praise. However , your roommates Gojo and Geto , we’re the kind that loves to step in pristine snow. The kind that like to taint beauty just for the fun of it. 

Roommate!Satosugu x Virgin!reader. Blowjob , doggy style , virginity loss , name calling a bit. Fingering. Masterbation.

There was no doubt in your mind that the universe was punishing you for everything you had ever done when you got paired with Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo as roommates. Paired with the men whose names floated around campus like warnings of a ghost. They were cruel… according to everyone else. They were never cruel to you. So nice since you moved in , helping you unpack , making you a welcome meal , showing you around. Maybe the rumors were just rumors. Well , except for one , the one about them being hot… fuck were they hot. If that rumor weren’t true you wouldn’t be in the confines of your room desperately trying to make your fingers do something for you. Soft desperate whimpers stifled by the biting of your lip. Tears of frustration running down your cheek. “F-fuck I can’t do it “ you cried, a genuine small sob. Frustrated beyond belief, throwing yourself back into your pillow, moving your fingers around your clit desperately. That’s the only satisfaction you could give yourself. 

Your body shot up at the sound of your door creaking. Eyes widening meeting shaded blue eyes. Gojo stood at your door frame, arms crossed , lips curled in amusement. He walked towards your figure. “ Hey Geto , come check this out “ you yelled into the living room. His booming voice snapping you out of your shock.” Oh um Gojo you're not supposed to be home” your voice shook as you  frantically pulled your blanket over yourself only for it to be yanked away. “ and you’re not supposed to be touching yourself so horribly” Gojo sassed at you. Your silk nightgown rolled up to your hips and your cunt glisting , clenching around nothing. The sight making both males hard. Geto arrived in your room in no time , standing over your bed looking over to gojo who had scooped your wrist up. “No wonder you’re struggling slut .. fingers so tiny there useless “ he spat , passing your wrists onto geto before his fingers prodded at you gummy walls. Your head shot back , his fingers filled you up so easily, with no effort. It was honestly embarrassing. “F-fuck Gojo please~” you choked out , your legs moving. Not used to this stimulation. “ relax baby “ Geto cooed , spreading your legs nice and wide for Gojo, “ we just wanna help ~”

They helped you all right. Gave you everything they had. “ fuck your so tight baby-“ Geto grunted , his tip being sucked in by your cunt. “ Crazy , did I not stretch her out well enough?” Gojo asked incredulously “ swear lil virgin cunts never cease to amaze me” he sighed , grunting as your warm mouth enveloped him. “ she got such a good throat on her though!” he chuckled , his arms behind his head. With your shaking arms squashed beneath you, you moved your fingers to your clit , trying desperately to get off even more. Geto scoffed at you “ you still tryna use those useless things ?!” He asked , slapping your hands away. Your whine of disappointment turning into a moan as his warm fingers replaced yours. You could tell he knew what he was doing. He had a pattern , he was skilled. “ I’m not enough for you baby? , first time you're getting some dick but you're still so needy”. you let out a soft whimper on Satoru’s cock. Surprised you hadn’t choked with how it was hitting the back of your throat. 

It was like they had a connection. With one look at each other they both matched up their paces. Your whimpers pitiful as your throat and cervix were hit at the same time. You finally choked on Satoru’s cock only to be forced back down and told to breathe through your nose. A task hard with his giant length. Your legs shaking violently as Geto pounded into you, unrelenting thrusts filling up your core. You felt yourself melt as warm liquid filled both of your holes. Letting a long moan ring against Gojo’s length. The two males grunting and panting as you whimpered. White spilling from your mouth and dripping from your cunt. The sound of exhaustion being broken by their words in unison “See pretty girl.. we helped you!” They smiled. There was another rumor , that they were amazing at sex.. you were so glad to know that rumor was true also. 

#jjk smut #jjk #jjk gojo #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jujutsu kaisen suguru #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #satosugu #gojou satoru x reader #jjk satoru #satorugojo #geto x reader #geto smut #jujutsu geto #jjk geto #geto suguru #gojo #satosugu smut #satoru x reader #satosugu x reader #stsg #geto suguru smut #suguru geto #getou suguru x reader #suguru geto smut #jjk suguru #gojo satoru smut #gojo smut

[totheblood]

GLORY & GORE

CHAPTER ONE: NOW WE'RE IN THE RING

PAIRING: fwb!ellie williams x reader

SUMMARY: a week after you reunite with your estranged best friend, astrid, for the first time in three years, you are heartbroken to discover her sudden and brutal murder. as you dive deep into the world of sagewood university, you uncover astrid's ties to a shadowy society lurking within the institution's walls. in the midst of all of this, you cross paths with ellie, who you met on the very day you saw astrid again. as ellie helps you figure out what happened to your best friend, you're forced to wonder if everything with ellie is truly as it appears, and if trust can genuinely be given to anyone.

WARNINGS: 18+ SLIGHT SMUT mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x

A/N: i've been working on this one for a while... i hope you enjoy! please send asks, reblog, and reply to this post <;3

WORD COUNT: 6.3k

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched as you stepped onto Sagewood University’s campus for the first time since Astrid’s death. 

You spent the days following Astrid’s death curled up on your couch, unmoving. Your gaze was fixed on the ceiling as you let time pass by slowly, counting the clicks of the clock on your wall each second.

Your mom would check on you every now and then, before she had to leave for work or when she came back home. She would leave a plate of food on the coffee table near you, urging you to eat something, but you had no appetite. It was safe to say that you weren't taking Astrid's death well.

Suddenly, your phone chimed, a ringtone reserved for one person. 

ellie: You okay?

You picked up your phone, reading the message despite the LED lights burning your eyes. It was obvious to anyone that you weren't okay, so you declined to answer. You put your phone back on the table and stared at the same place on the ceiling. It was starting to look like a face, but you were almost sure you were hallucinating. 

The morning they found Astrid’s dead body sprawled out on a table in the library had started like a normal day for you. The sky was still dark when you woke up to your alarm and dragged yourself out of bed. You pulled on the grey hoodie that had been your staple all semester, paired with a red pair of sweatpants you had worn so much they were nearly falling apart. As you walked towards campus, the streets were silent except for the occasional chirping of birds and the crunch of gravel beneath your sneakers. But when you reached the library all seemed eerily quiet; the wide glass windows had been frosted with police tape and blocked by large, black police cars. Fear started to sink into your stomach as groups huddled together, their hushed voices filled with whimpers and tears.

“Hey, uh,” you tapped one on the shoulder, “what happened?”

“They found some girl dead,” she replied in a low voice, “Can you believe it?” 

“Do they know who it is?” you asked. Deep in your heart you already knew it was her. 

From the very first day you met Astrid, you knew you had found your person. It was like finding the other piece to a two-piece puzzle. Simple, but rare. In elementary school, she was your personal hero, unafraid to get her hands dirty—or bloody, for that matter—when that kid shoved you during recess. 

Middle school was weird for everyone, but less so for you because you had Astrid. You two invented your own secret language, a series of squiggles and lines that looked like chicken scratch to anyone else. Those notes you passed weren't just ink on paper; they were secret jokes, each scribble another knot in the thread that connected you two.

High school rolled around, and the stakes got higher, the emotions deeper. You realized you liked girls, and the moment you told Astrid, the air between you changed—but not in the way you feared. It was as if she picked up the weight of the situation and took it on as her own, lightening your load just by being there, just by listening. She didn't offer grand gestures or theatrical declarations of support; she didn't need to. Instead, she guided you, step-by-step, through the maze of coming out, as if it was the most natural path you could walk together.

And maybe it was. Because when you look back on everything, every scraped knee and every coded note, every whispered secret and every shared challenge, it all led back to a simple, undeniable truth: life was messy and confusing and downright hard sometimes—but less so with Astrid by your side.

College was supposed to be a fresh chapter, a new horizon where you and Astrid could explore the world as adults. But instead, it turned into a ripping of a page you never saw coming. Within the first week, something broke. Conversations turned into awkward exchanges, laughter gave way to silence, and the natural ease you'd always felt around her failed to exist. You guys just stopped clicking and after a big argument, you stopped hanging out altogether. She became someone you used to know, a piece of your past.

Time went by, and you got used to life without Astrid. Then, out of the blue, you got a text from her last week. She said she wanted to meet up.

She asked to meet at the campus coffee shop, Brain Brew, on a Tuesday morning. It was practically empty in there when you arrived, something that it almost never was. You came early, thinking you would need to find a seat, but now looking at all the empty chairs was less of a concern. 

Behind the bar stood a girl, with short auburn hair and freckles littered across her face, on her phone. When you approached, she straightened up, looking surprised to see you. You read the name on her nametag: Ellie. 

“Uh,” she looked you up and down briefly, “what can I get for you?” 

“What's good?” you asked, eyes scanning the expansive menu ranging from lavender latte's to plain black coffee. 

“Anything I make is good,” she shrugged, eyes still waiting for a response. 

“Then, just an iced vanilla latte,” you ordered, tapping your fingers on the counter. She tapped your order into the tablet in front of her and then stopped for a minute, looking you over again. 

“You go to Sagewood?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Yea,” your brows knit together, as you shifted uncomfortably in your place, “Why?”

“I just feel like I’ve seen you before,” she commented, the price of your latte lighting up on the screen in front of you, “6.74.”

Jesus fuck, you thought, this is why I don't come here. 

“It’s a big campus, you’ve probably just seen me around or something,” you tapped your card, looking back up at her, scanning her face to see if you remembered her from anywhere. Then it clicked, “Did you go to Weston Middle School?”

“Shit,” she breathed, shaking her head and laughing, “yea, for a year.”

“I remember you,” you laughed, a smile spread across your face, “you used to eat lunch alone every day and when I tried to sit next to you you told me to ‘Fuck off’.”

You saw her physically wince as she pulled your receipt out of the dispenser, “Fuck,” she shook her head again, closing her eyes painfully, “I’m sorry, that was not a good year for me.”

“I don't think 11 is a good year for anyone,” you joked back, taking your receipt from her, “It’s all good, don't worry about it.” 

She let out a little laugh, her cheeks growing a tinge darker as she scratched the back of her neck, “I’ll get that drink started for you,” she moved towards the espresso machine before stopping and turning back towards you, “Wait, can I get your name?” She paused for a moment, examining the expression on your face, “For the order.”

Smiling, you gave her your name, and stood at the end of the counter, waiting for your drink. Astrid was now five minutes late, and you just realized she may be standing you up. 

“Do you go to Sagewood?” you asked Ellie from across the espresso machine. She looked up at you over the machine, waiting for the espresso to brew. 

“Yeah,” she shrugged, “for psych.”

“Oh, you want to be a therapist?” you leaned your hands on the counter looking around the empty room. 

“Something like that,” she breathed out a laugh, eyes flicking up to you for a moment, “What are you doing?”

“Journalism,” you smiled, watching as she made your drink, “Do you think I could get your number?” It slipped out of your mouth before you could think. You watched as the smile from her face fell, the blood that was in her cheeks being replaced with pale skin.

“Oh, uh” she fumbled over her words almost dropping the cup of milk she was holding, “I don’t really date, it not my-”

“Oh, not like that,” you cut her off, trying to save yourself the embarrassment, “Just like as friends, I don’t really have that many around campus.” 

“Oh,” she breathed out a laugh, relief flooding her features, “Yeah, sure then. I’d love to be friends.”

When she handed you her drink she handed you her phone with the contacts app already open. You took your coffee and the phone, smiling slightly as you put your name and number in. 

“Here,” you giggled, “sorry if that was weird. I wasn’t like coming on to you or anything. I mean not that you aren’t attractive cause you are- But it’s also not like I’m not into girls, cause I am. Jesus fuck,” you whispered under your breath, “It’s just that I also... Don’t date,” you lied. 

You watched the permanent smirk on her face as you rambled off and she took her phone back and let out another breathy laugh. 

“Well, it’s not that you aren’t attractive either,” she rubbed the back of her neck, watching intently as you sipped your drink, “so if you wanted to like, I don’t know, hook up sometime, I would be down for that.” 

You practically choked on your latte when she said that, eyes wide as you tried to cover up your spluttering with a cough, “Um, yeah. That sounds cool, or whatever.” 

“Cool,” she pursed her lips, nodding before turning back to wipe the counter down, “I’ll text you.”

As if it was fate the bell rang behind you, signaling Astrid’s entrance. You turned to look at her and give her a once over. She looked a lot more frazzled since you last saw her, her blond hair was still as long and came past her shoulders, but it was frizzier as if she had just woken up. The circles under her eyes were more prominent, and when you smiled at her, she didn’t smile back. You didn’t want to approach her first, so you just waited until she came up to you and gave you a hint of a smile. 

“Should we sit?” She asked, her voice much raspier now as she looked around to the empty cafe, the tension in her body easing up.

“Sure,” you followed her lead as she led you to the back, away from any windows and farther away from the bar. You looked over to where Ellie was still working, wondering how loud you would need to shout for her to hear you. 

“What did you want to talk about?” you started, noticing her slightly anxious state as she took shallow breaths, “I mean, I missed you.”

“This isn’t about us,” her voice was cold when she spoke, the words hurting you more than you thought it would, “I just think you are the only person I can trust.”

“Okay,” you took a sip of your latte, nursing it in your hands, “do you need to tell me something?”

“No,” she took a deep breath, “Just that if something happens to me, it will have to be you to figure out who does it.” 

“Jesus,” you breathed out, leaning in to whisper back, “What the fuck have you gotten into, A?” 

She winced at the sound of her nickname, looking down at the table before looking around again at the still-empty cafe, “I should be fine,” she sighed, “but if I’m not, you will know what to do.”

“How the fuck would I know what to do?” you spoke a little louder, throwing your hands up dramatically as you leaned back, “I mean this is ridiculous, you completely blow me off freshman year and now you’re telling me I have to worry about someone who doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore?”

“You’re being melodramatic,” she blinked a few times, before sitting up straight, “I didn’t come here to fight you.” 

“No, you just came to make sure I’d be there whenever you got yourself into trouble,” your voice was harsh as you stood up from your seat abruptly, ready to leave. 

“Please, sit down,” she urged, looking up at you with her big round eyes.

“No, thanks,” you replied sarcastically, giving her a fake smile, “Go fuck yourself.”

Go fuck yourself. 

That was the last thing you ever told Astrid before she was murdered. 

The guilt followed you all the way back home that night in stunned silence. You were too shocked to even tell your professor you weren’t coming to class that day, missing a midterm. You knew you would make it up eventually, but now, all you could do was sit and stare and hope to wake up from whatever nightmare you were living. 

To make matters worse, as you sat on your bed, still dressed in your clothes from earlier a note was slipped under your door. A thick cream cardstock, with embossed trimmings covered in gold, and written delicately on the front in script, “Keep your mouth shut, or you’re next.”

At the time, you immediately threw it out, not thinking much of it. Your brain was stuffed with things you didn’t want to think about, flashes of your childhood coming back in brief intervals. The vision of the two of you at the carnival, faces stuffed with cotton candy, giggling as you boarded the Ferris Wheel for the first time on your own came back first. You remember going around with her three times until the sun went down and the houses began to look like stars in the sky. Lit up and far away.

Another memory flashed, her crying in your lap in the 8th grade. Jason Charnley rejected her when she asked him if they could go to the dance together. Innocently, you offered to go with her as you stroked her hair, the cries dying out as you cracked joke after joke. By the time she was supposed to go home, she had forgotten what she was even upset about. 

Then a memory of senior year when she showed up on your front step, a giant envelope addressed to her with a giant “Sagewood” on the front. She knew she was accepted from the moment she applied, but the confirmation was validation enough. What really surprised her was your admission, meaning you’d follow after her to college as you usually did.

Then a memory flashed from a week ago, an unknown number lit up your screen the night you met Astrid in the cafe. 

ellie: Hey, this is Ellie.

ellie: From Brain Brew.

you: wrong number

you: but what are you wearing, ellie?

ellie: Nvm.

you: stooooop come back

you: i was being annoying, i apologize

you: what are you doing rn?

ellie: Come find out. 

That’s how you found yourself pressed up against Ellie’s door, her knee wedged in between your legs, a small whimper falling from your lips that were wrapped up in Ellie’s. Ellie's lips were soft and full, her touch gentle, calloused hands gripping your clothed waist. You could feel her heart pounding in time with your own, her chest rising and falling with each breath.

Your hands, no longer under your own control, moved around her waist to pull her closer still, while her hands roamed over your back, exploring, caressing. Your breathing grew heavier as you felt her hands roam up your body

The kiss deepened as you explored each other’s mouths with your tongues. Her lips were insistent, demanding as if she couldn't get enough of you. You were overwhelmed by the taste of her, a mix of mint and coffee. She slipped her hands under your shirt, her hands traveling up your back, causing goosebumps to rise exclusively where she touched. Her hands found the clasp of your bra, undoing it, her mouth never leaving yours as you moaned into her mouth. Ellie’s hands, still under your shirt, moved to cup your tits in her hand, pushing you back against the door as she did so. 

She broke the kiss, her lips trailing down your jaw, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed and sloppy kisses on your skin. Her teeth nipped at the skin on your collarbone, sending shivers down your spine. Her hands began teasing your nipples with gentle squeezes and flicks. She was relishing in every sound you made, every way you squirmed underneath her touch. She could feel herself getting wet from the small sounds alone. Then you moaned out loud as Ellie's lips found their way to your neck, sucking and biting, marking you as hers, and she was gone completely.

Her hands moved lower, sliding down your sides, over the curve of your hips, until they reached the waistband of your pants. Before you knew it, her fingers slipped beneath the fabric, two fingers circling your clit as she worked you.

“Shit,” she whispered under her breath, “this is for me?” The sound of her fingers and your cunt made an obscene noise, her fingers now completely coated in you. Your hands fumbled with the buttons of Ellie's shirt, desperate to feel her skin against yours. You popped them off one by one, fingers faltering as she touched you, revealing her toned stomach, and you couldn't help but run your hands at the place right above her worn-out jeans, feeling the muscles twitch beneath your touch.

Ellie pulled back slightly, her eyes searching her face for any regret, any idea that you wanted to back out now. "You want this?" she whispered, her voice low and rough. You nodded, unable to form words as your body leaned into her.

----

That’s all you remembered that night, slipping out sometime before Ellie woke up. You assumed that since this was “strictly a hookup” she wouldn’t want to see you there in the morning. She did vaguely reference you sleeping over, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome. 

So before the sun came up, you slipped from Ellie’s grip, slipping on the clothes you came in and doing the infamous walk of shame back to your dorm. This wasn’t a relationship, and the proactive version of yourself had to be reminded of that many times that week.

You began to think that if you maybe hadn’t gotten so wrapped up in Ellie the week after meeting with Astrid, you would have noticed something. Maybe even have been able to prevent her death. A part of you wanted to resent Ellie for that, but you knew at the end of the day you were trying to put the blame on anyone but yourself.

She reached out for help, but you denied her. 

The best friend you swore to protect, who swore to protect you was now dead, and you could have prevented it. Wallowing in it wasn’t helping much, but provided some emotion to feel other than numb. So back in your childhood home, your fingers lingered over Ellie’s contact, wondering if you should text her back. You didn’t have a plan to return back to school yet and you didn’t want to give her false hope.

Maybe she could fuck the grief out of you, or wrap her to-

you: as good as i can be

ellie: This sucks.

you: truer words have never been spoken

ellie: But hey, I need to talk to you. Do you know when you’ll be back on campus?

ellie: I’m not trying to like fuck you or anything cause that would be fucked up.

ellie: Ignore that last message. I’m just realizing now how weird that was. I'm sorry.

ellie: Anyways, I just need to talk to you about something, it’s serious. Don’t wanna text it to you.

you: i should be back soon, i don't know yet. 

ellie: Well, when you do come back, let me know.  

You stared at your phone, your fingers ghosting over Ellie’s message before deciding to reply with a thumbs up. Pathetic, but it was all you could muster as you finally sat up and ate the food your mom left for you. It was about time to return to your life, falling behind not being an option anymore.

You worked too hard to get into Sagewood in the first place to stop now, a year before you were set to graduate. Sagewood was on par with the Ivy League schools, bearing an acceptance rate of 9% and accepting students internationally. There were about a thousand on-campus clubs, sororities, and study groups. There were even rumored secret societies, but you were never one to believe in that sort of thing. People who graduated with a degree from Sagewood were set for life. There was no room to screw up three years of good grades okay grades. 

So that’s how you found yourself back on campus, tightly gripping the straps of your bag. As if snapped back into reality, the memories of that night flooded back. You just began to remember the note you threw away that threatened your life, as you made your way to your morning class, an unsettling feeling setting in your stomach. It almost felt as if you were being watched. 

As you sat in class, you shuffled in your seat as the kid a few rows in front of you turned to look at you. When he noticed you staring back he turned around quickly. The whole class you had your eyes trained on the back of his head, watching as he would occasionally look at you, notice you looking, and turn back around. You knew you were being paranoid when you first walked onto campus, but now you felt validated.

As the teacher dismissed the class, the kid who kept staring at you collected his things and attempted to leave the room quickly, but you wouldn’t let that happen. You rushed to meet him at the door and stood in front of him, a bitter look on your face. 

“You’ve got a staring problem,” you commented accusingly, hands folding across your chest.

“You’re just really,” he coughed, looking around as other people pushed past you to the exit, the professor included, “pretty. You’re pretty, that’s why I was staring.”

“I know I am,” you turned to shut the door behind the last person exiting the room, “but do you really think I’m that stupid? What gives?”

“I’m late for my clas-” he began to stumble out before you took another menacing step towards him. 

“You won’t make it there if you don’t tell me why the fuck you were staring at me,” you pointed a finger right in the center of his chest, making him gulp loudly. 

“It’s just,” he takes another step back, “you were friends with the dead girl.”

“The dead girl?” you spat back at him, your tone laced with venom, “Her name was Astrid, you dick.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He breathed out, “I’m just a true crime junkie, I’m intrigued about her case.”

“Her case?” you questioned him, taking a step back to make him feel more comfortable. To make him open up to you. 

“Just that they have no leads yet,” he scoffed, “which is weird if you ask me. No suspects yet she’s killed in a very public place?”

“That happens all the time,” you retorted, hands still crossed protectively across your chest.

“It’s not as common as you think,” he shrugged, “they haven’t questioned you yet?”

Now that he brought it up, the whole situation was weird. If they were trying hard to find out what happened to her, why weren’t you called in for questioning? It wasn’t like you had done it, but you did have a motive, and you had just come into contact with her again, shortly before her murder. If there was any person to question, it would be you, but yet here you were, untouched.

“No, they haven’t,” you mumbled back, your mind moving a million miles per minute. 

“See,” he smirked, “weird.”

“Wipe that stupid ass smile off your face,” you spat back, “she’s still dead, and just because you ‘like true crime’ doesn’t give you a right to talk about her. It’s not like you’re going to solve her murder.”

“I just might,” he stated simply.

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed, turning towards the door to leave now.

“Did you know she was part of a secret society?” he questioned, making you still for a moment.

You turned back around to face him, eyes squinted again, arms crossed firmly over your chest, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He let out a laugh, shaking his head, something sinister in the way he hung his head, “I do my research and I do it well.”

“You sound like a nutcase,” you spat again, trying to stop the anger from bubbling inside of you. It felt weird to talk about Astrid as if she was a mystery. In all the people in the world, you knew her the best. You knew each and every corner of her life, even when you weren’t speaking. But now, as you stood here, you weren’t sure you ever knew her at all. 

“They are called Oculus Noctis,” he shrugged again, standing up taller as if he had just won this fight, or whatever this was, “look them up, then come find me,” he walked closer to you now, making you want to cower away, but you didn’t. You planted your feet down, straightening your posture. Although he looked more confident now, you could tell he was still intimidated by you, “my name’s Corbin Nott. I run a podcast, look me up too.”

Smiling, he brushed past you leaving you standing alone in the room. You let out what felt like a deep breath you were holding for a while, your breath coming out shallow and shaky.  Your heart felt like it would beat out of your chest, and come out of your ears and nose as you bled out on the floor, but you just stayed unmoving taking deep breaths as you placed a hand over your chest to steady yourself. 

Your hands began to shake a little, trembling as you moved to sit down at one of the desks, a failed attempt at calming yourself. The breaths came quicker as it started to feel like you couldn’t breathe, like your heart was pumping blood into your lungs and you were drowning. Your vision blurred as you stared at the desk, which was now full of wet droplets. Were you crying? You lifted a shaky hand to wipe at your cheeks, and as you expected you felt your damp skin covered in tears. 

You were trying hard to collect yourself now, knowing that students from the next class would probably start flooding in and you wouldn’t be able to move. You would just sit at a front desk crying as whatever poor professor tried to teach. C’mon get it together, get it fucking together, you thought. What was it they said to do? 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, and the other three got lost on you. 

You looked around, and through teary eyes you could see a clock on the wall, ticking slower than usual. You could see the whiteboard in front of you, smugged with black dry-erase markers, and you could see the dark hardwood floors, clean and polished. You watched your hands and your tears on the desk and suddenly your breathing started to feel normal.

Thank god you did because by the time you were wiping your last tear from your eyes, the door to the classroom was swinging open and a student was walking in. You kept your head down, so they wouldn’t see your teary eyes and red nose, but that also stopped you from seeing them. So when the person called your name out, you had to look up, only to see…

“Ellie,” you mumbled, watching the smile on her face drop as her eyes scanned your face. Gripping her backpack straps she walked closer to you slowly, crouching down in front of the desk you were sitting at. Her green eyes darted from your eyes to your nose, to your lips, and to the desk, clearly wet.

“Hey,” she whispered, “are you okay?” She reluctantly reached a hand out to wipe at your face, unsure if you were okay with being touched or if you even liked to be comforted. She wiped a tear away from your cheek, her calloused thumb rubbing your cheek gently, “What happened?”

“I-I’m fine,” you stuttered out, closing your eyes at the skin-to-skin contact, “Still upset I guess,” you let out a shaky laugh, hoping to see a small smile on Ellie’s face as you opened your eye, but she just looked worried. Her brow wrinkled a bit, and it looked as if she was still searching for something in your eyes, but was coming up empty. She cleared her throat before looking away, retracting her hand from her face. 

“You’re not fine.” She grumbled back, standing up now, causing you to look up at her, “You shouldn’t be back here so soon.”

“What?” you joked, “Not excited to see me?”

She rolled her eyes playfully, a small blush tinted on her face as she nudged your shoulder lightly, “Not excited at all,” she commented sarcastically, making you crack a bigger smile, “c’mon let’s get out of here,” she motioned her head to the door, making you stand up shakily and stand in front of her. 

“Don’t you have class?” you asked, your own expression laced with worry. You watched as her face softened slightly at this, pursing her lips and looking you up and down. 

“I can skip it,” she shrugged, “plus, I wanted to talk to you.” 

You let out a small laugh, “God, you sound obsessed with me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she dismissed you, walking towards the door, pulling it open, and holding it for you, “C’mon, let’s go.”

Giving her a small smile you walked out with her, your hands placed firmly in your pockets. You stepped out onto the main grass of Sagewood, where people were sitting, laughing, as their lives moved on. The smell of the grass was strong, as you walked down the cobbled path, Ellie looking at you quickly before taking a deep breath. 

“So, I went by your room the day after your friend-” she started, 

“Astrid,” you practically whispered back.

‘Astrid,” she paused, “After she died,” she cleared her throat, “I’m so sorry by the way.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to say that.”

“Sorry,” she cleared her throat, “Anyways, I went there the day after and you weren’t there, but there was this book on your desk.”

“What?” you stopped in your tracks looking at her, “There was no book on my desk when I got back.” 

“I know,” she sighed, looking around, “I took it,” she watched as your eyes widened and you took a step back.

“Why the fuck would you take something off my desk?” you questioned, anger written all over your face. Ellie shifted uncomfortably, chewing on her bottom lip as you questioned her.

“Because it was Astrid’s, and I thought,” her voice died out, and your wide eyes just pressed her on, your arms once again folding over your chest.  

“You thought what?” 

“I thought that it was evidence,” she breathed out, “I thought that if they found that in your room it would be pinned on you.”

“You think I killed her?” your voice was loud now, making people around you stop and stare. Ellie looked around uncomfortably, closing her eyes as she took another deep breath. 

“Of course not!” she whisper yelled back, “You were at mine the night she was murdered, but if they found that in your room, it would have been on you.”

“So, you stole it,’ you deadpanned, eyebrows raised and accusing, “Why do you even care if I go down for it? You barely know me.”

“Because believe it or not, you are one of my only friends,” she looked away, her arms crossing over her chest as if to protect herself, “Like ever. So forgive me if I didn’t want you to be framed for murder.”

Your expression softened, arms falling to your sides as you looked up at her and then back at the ground, “I appreciate that.” 

“You can have it back, obviously,” she mumbled, eyes trained on her own shoes as her arms uncrossed and her fingers began to play with each other, “I just… didn’t want you to get in trouble. It’s all gibberish anyways, just a bunch of words that don't make sense.”

That made your heart stop, as you blinked up at her. “What did you just say?” She looked up at you, shrugging as she rolled her eyes.

“The journal, it’s like just a bunch of random words, I tried to find out what language it was but I came up short,” she was still playing with her fingers, obviously nervous as she picked at her nails, “But, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore. It was a weird thing to do.”

“I still want to be your friend, Ellie,” you sighed, “I just need to see this journal, like now,” you watched as a small smile flashed across her face and he shoulders seemed to lose all their tension.

“Yeah, we could head over to my dorm right now,” she began walking, turning her head back to make sure you were following her, “I’m sorry agai-”

“Ellie, if you apologize again I’ll jump you,” you teased, smiling up at her as you walked side by side.

“Doesn’t sound like much of a threat,” she teased back, voice low as she let out a small laugh.

-

As you walked into Ellie’s dorm, you instantly became nervous again, your guilt creeping up the back of your neck. The night Astrid was killed, you were in bed with Ellie, laughing as she traced circles into your inner thigh. She talked about how much she hated her professors, working and Brain Brew, and how weird everyone on campus was. Well, everyone except for you. 

That night you stayed up and watched 30 Rock on Hulu until Ellie fell asleep, Ellie’s laughter gradually fading into soft snores. Her head found a resting spot on your shoulder, her rhythmic breaths warming your neck. You slipped out quietly, walking back to your dorm with a shit-eating grin on your face, and fell asleep unassuming. 

Your fingers traced the outline of Ellie’s desk, as you eyed Astrid’s journal that was sat in the center of it. It was covered in green felt, her name embossed on the front of it in gold letters. You pulled out the chair in front of the desk, sitting at it to begin reading the book. You paused for a moment, wondering if you even wanted to open it. Flipping open the front page, there was the language you created in middle school on every page. Pages and pages, the book was filled. When Astrid said it would be up to you to solve her murder, she meant it literally. 

On the front page was printed “Fepi Quslo Vurte Dabru” which translates to “My Oculus Noctis Journey.”

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, finger brushing over the letters on the page, feeling the imprint the pen made on the paper. 

“What?” Ellie stepped forward, looking over your shoulder at the book, “You know what this says?”

You sighed deeply, eyes trained on the words, “Yeah,” you turned to look up at her, “I do.”

“How?” her tone was more curious than shocked, sitting on her bed as she watched you. 

“It’s a language we created in middle school,” you closed the book, stuffing it in your bag as you turned to stare at Ellie. You watched as she looked at you in amazement, eyes wide and mouth hung open. 

“You created a fucking language?” she asked, laughing a little, “Jesus, you Sagewood students are crazy.”

“Ellie, you also go here,” you laughed, leaning your elbow on the desk, “Plus, Astrid mostly created it. She was smart like that.”

Ellie looked at you again, a small smile playing on her face, “You’re smart too, you know.”

“Not as smart as she was,” your smile turned to a sad one as you looked at your knees, not wanting to cry again.

“Hey,” Ellie said, voice low as she tried to get your attention. When you looked up, she smiled at you, eyes soft, “You're really fucking smart, just remember that.”

You gave her a forced smile, looking back down at your feet, “Thank you,” your voice came out cracked, “I needed that.”

“What did the first page say?” 

“My Oculus Noctis Journey,” you replied, shrugging. 

“Oh shit,” she laughed, “she was involved with those freaks?”

You sat up straight at this, scanning her face, “You know about them?” 

“Sadly,” she replied nonchalantly, “I don't know much about them except that they exist. They tried to recruit me, but I don't think they know that I know that it was them.”

“What? What do you mean?” you asked eagerly, words coming out quickly. 

“They recruit people on campus but they make it seem like they are just regular clubs,” she recounted, “Like they had a ‘coding club’ and at the club fair they had this code that they asked people to encrypt, it was extremely hard too. I did it and they sent me this weird email, asking me to do more shit. I just kind of didn't respond but traced the email to their own web service.”

“I thought that the secret society stuff was just like rumors.”

“Nope,” she popped her lips on the ‘p’, “Real shit. I just don't know what they exist for or anything.”

“I think I may have to figure that out.”

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fan fic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams oneshot #modern!ellie williams #college!ellie williams #ellie williams one shot

[lethalchiralium]

since you've been on an angst train with the happiness aus lately, could we possibly see a little more of Simon and misuss' interactions after she lost the baby? you wrote it so well, and so raw. it was very heart breaking, but beautiful to watch them grieve and grow together.

More Than I Could Ask For | Happiness Series

a/n: i got you homie

warnings: mentions of miscarriages, medical jargon, trauma, grieving. mentions of not eating. mentions of breastfeeding.

summary: Losing a baby is difficult, Simon knows that. But as he takes care of you, all he wishes for is for you to not feel the pain anymore.

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It was hard, Simon couldn’t deny that.

He hasn’t felt pain like this since he was a boy, being reprimanded for helping a girl on the playground when she had fell. He really liked her, but his father had beat him to a pulp for even looking in her direction. That’s when he grew scared to even make friends, to make connections because his father had beat into him that everyone will leave him. Everyone.

But, as you rested your head on his chest, he knew that you wouldn’t. The television was playing one of your favorite drama series, one you used to watch all the time when you were just Winnie’s nanny. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t grateful for you loving him too.

The doctor appointment today confirmed that the tissue was dispelled and you were no longer pregnant, now came the recovery period. He had drove you home in unwilling silence, trying to get you to laugh or talk or something, but you kept your eyes fixated out your window. It was normal for you now, for the past four weeks since he found you in the bathroom. Short answers, barely talking to him but still conversing with your daughters normally, like nothing happened.

Was he tired of it? Yes. Did he understand that you needed space? Yes, but only after he talked to Price about it. He was close to ripping his hair out because you wouldn’t talk to him, but Price had pulled him from the edge. She’ll talk when she’s ready.

He was going to have to start having Soap and Gaz check on you during the day, more issues were coming up and his deployment was getting closer. Unfortunately, it would be only him, Price, and König - a friend he hasn’t seen in a long time. It wasn’t that he hated his friends, it’s just that he had the urge to stay at your side no matter what. Melt his bones down and create a physical tie from him to you, just so he could be around you. He noticed that your hair had grown out, you would have gone to the hairdresser by now to fix it. He still brushed it gently in the mornings, one less thing you would have to worry about.

You were a shell, haunting him and he couldn’t emotionally handle it. He needed you back, he needed you to smile again.

He noticed way too much of your change. Sleeping more, trying your hardest not to eat, sick - it was like you were ashamed.

That’s when it clicked.

His fingers curled through your hair, his other hand coming to rest on your cheek.

“I’m sorry.” His words were the first spoken in the room since the morning, you stilled on his chest. Your head moved so you could look up to him, tears in your eyes.

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”

His head moved to the side. “No, it’s not.” His thumb gently rubbed your cheek, “This happens. Miscarriages happen, you shouldn’t be ashamed.”

Your head turned back around, you whispered, “I just want to watch TV.”

“No, baby, please talk to me.” His hand kept running through your hair, trying to keep your attention. “Honey.”

Another few moments.

“Are you hungry? I can go make you something.”

“No.”

“Baby, please, you’re starving yourself.”

“It’s what I deserve.”

Simon paused, eyes widened in disbelief.

“What you deserve?”

You nodded, eyes gazing down at your lap.

His hand moved to your jaw, forcing you to look at him. His eyes were dark. “No, it’s not.” Tears fell from your eyes, his hands slipped for your face to your hands, cradling them with a soft grip. “You don’t deserve pain. You don’t deserve to starve yourself because you think you failed me.” He squeezed your hands, more tears fell from your eyes. “I just want you to feel better, I need you to feel better. Losing the baby hurts, I know it does, but you have two little girls who wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they lost you.” He brought your hands to his chest.

“Simon…”

“They wouldn’t know what to do because I would be gone too.” He murmured, his voice small. “I can’t live without you. I’d lose myself, they’d lose me too.”

You lurched forwards, diving into his chest and letting go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck, sobbing. “I-I can’t stop feeling-feeling like this-“

“I know, love.” His warm arms were instantly around your torso, fingers curled around your waist and carded into your scalp.

“Don’t-Don’t be mad at me.”

“Why would I ever be mad at you?”

You hiccuped over your breath. “I-I’m starving myself.” Your hand held his head closer to yours, you were trying to calm down but your heart kept racing. “You’re right. I’m starving myself and I could die and leave my babies.”

“Your feelings are what makes sure you’re still human, you were scared. Scared means shutting down, shutting down means forgetting to do anything for yourself. That’s why I’m here.” His fingers twisted a lock of your hair between them before he gently pet your head, a kiss settled right behind your ear. “Let me take care of you, let me help you, let me hold you and fix you.”

If you could express the way your heart seemed to beat without being there, you would. If you could describe the disappointment that doused your insides like gasoline, the way your pain struck a match and was burning you, you would. You pressed your forehead into his shoulder, hiccuping from your sobs, “You were so excited.”

“I was, but I was scared too.” The waves Simon fought so hard to keep above kept crashing over him, pain striking his chest like lightning. “I was so scared that I would lose you.”

“Simon…”

“You don’t need to be ashamed about losing the baby. It wasn’t meant to be, I’ve come to terms with it.”

A loud sob left you, your eyes squeezed shut so tightly that it was painful. “I wanted my son.”

“I know, my love.” I wish I could take away your pain.

He held you for a long time, letting you sob your broken heart out. He kissed your head before he went to his daughters, cooking and feeding them, bathing them, and then putting them to bed. He warmed up some of dinner, planning to eat with you.

But when he came back to the dimly lit room, he found you in the center of the bed - his pillow held against your chest with an iron grip. He settled the plate with your favorite pasta on it on your nightstand before he quickly ate his portion, he’d clean the plates in the morning.

He discarded his plate on the dresser before he got back into bed with you, his arms tucked underneath the pillow so he could hold your chest, letting his fingertips faintly feel your heartbeat. His forehead settled on the crown of your head, he felt you subtly shift in your slumber.

He let tears of his own fall down his face in silence.

He woke up in the night to you crawling back in bed, he could hear the soft cries of his youngest daughter in your arms. Your lamp was turned on, it didn’t phase his eyes as he watched you nurse your baby. Your arm held her up as you gently patted her bottom, observing your sleepy and sweet girl. A tune came from your lips, quiet as he believed you hadn’t noticed he was awake yet.

“Young men dream and old men ponder,” Gentle fingertips traced Mellie’s eyebrows, the apple of her cheeks as you quietly sang a song to her. “But what of the in between?” Mellie’s brown eyes flickered up to your face, little lashes fluttered as she blinked. Simon didn’t have to move to know that you were smiling at her. “You look more like your father.” Gently brushing her hair back with your hand before you cradled her head. Her little hand smacked against your breast, you chuckled as softly as you could as you continued, “In this life, if you should falter,” A gentle brush of her cheek had Mellie kicking her legs, eyes still watching you. “Remember these words I sing.” Simon felt the current of the ocean in his body calm, your soft voice brought him a comfort he never knew he should have been looking for.

Mellie unlatched from you, whining and whimpering. You pulled your shirt back down and moved her onto your shoulder, gently patting her back - but she pushed backwards, wanting to look at your face.

“Don’t like Mama singin’ to you right now, huh?”

Little Mellie cooed, little hands resting on your chin.

“You’re such a sweet girl. Mama loves you so much.” You brought her face towards you for a kiss, your daughter squealed with delight as you gently shushed her. “Dada’s still sleepin’, baby. He’s doing so much for us, gotta let him sleep.”

He wanted to pull you into his chest right then, to kiss your head and hold his baby to his skin. He needed nothing more than to hold his girls, all three of them. He almost moved his hand before you moved out of the bed, your footsteps silent as you made your way back to the nursery. Simon’s eyes flickered to the food he left on your nightstand hours earlier, food eaten up and fork left on the cleared plate. His chest warmed, knowing that something got through to you. That he could help you with one little thing.

When you came back to bed, he sat up - which made you jump. Your hand flew to your chest as you huffed out a breath. “Jesus, Si, you scared me.”

He held out his hand, your eyebrows furrowed with confusion but you stepped closer to your bed and took it. He gently pulled you up as you got into bed, he wrapped his arms around you wordlessly. His warm heart had a steady beat he could finally feel after so many weeks, his arms held you tight as you melted into his embrace. He held you like that until he laid you both down, his arms cradling you until morning light.

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