#and you made me go from neutral about mace to

[antianakin]

Am I the only one who just lost any and all love for newer Star Wars material due to Jedi hate ? Like- the only merch or show or even FANDOM topic I get involved in is clone wars stuff and MAYBE TBB. Like- why would I want the watch shows who attempt to rewritte canon and portray the very heroes of Star Wars as the bad guys ?

Why would I want to watch shows that assassinate characters left and right (looking at you, Ahsoka and Sabine) ? Why would I want to buy merch of characters who I not only NOT care about, but who also are used as meta mouthpieces for stupid Jedi hate ?

I think there's TONS of good newer Star Wars material, to be honest.

I loved the Kenobi show and it is arguably one of the most pro Jedi pieces of media to have existed since the Prequels films. Aside from one itty bitty somewhat awkward word choice in one line of one episode, there is absolutely NOTHING in that show that can be used to indict the Jedi or blame them for anything and it is arguably one of the only shows to really spend time MOURNING the Jedi and recognizing the horror of what was done to them. Rebels comes closest after this, but its structure makes it a little less visceral than the Kenobi show was to me.

I really adore Visions and I recognize that this is sort-of Star Wars adjacent more than anything else, but SO LITTLE truly understands what makes Star Wars compelling as a story and really hits on those primary themes the way that Visions does. There's SO MUCH Jedi content in Visions and I remember people complaining about how much Jedi content was in Visions and other people responding that if you were given free reign to just play in the Star Wars sandbox with near zero restrictions on what you could make with it, you would probably ALSO immediately go for the psychic space wizards with laser swords. Who WOULDN'T? Visions also just genuinely has some of the most engaging and heart-wrenching stories to come out of Star Wars in a LONG while and it does it in these beautifully animated 15 minute packages. It's such a gem and I am so glad to be alive at the same time as Visions.

Rogue One is older now, but both Rogue One and Andor, despite having zero actual Jedi in them, really hinge on the themes from the Prequel trilogy about the tragedy in the Star Wars universe, stepping up when no one else will, choosing to be selfless and compassionate for the greater good, etc. Faith and hope are MASSIVE themes within these two works and even though there aren't any space wizards, good or evil, in either story, they feel like some of the most pro Jedi things Star Wars has come out with in a while based on thematic messages ALONE.

The Mandalorian's first two seasons actually have this absolutely BEAUTIFUL story about the selfless sacrifice of one man as he gives up everything in order to help this child find his way back to the culture he'd been ripped from. Everything AFTER that regarding Grogu and Din's storyline is a piece of shit (it's not explicitly anti-Jedi or anything, but it undoes a lot of the things that made their story so compelling and beautiful), but the first two seasons are genuinely GOOD and very pro Jedi in a lot of ways despite the lack of many actual Jedi characters.

The Book of Boba Fett is a terrible show for a LOT of reasons, but shockingly none of them have anything to do with its treatment of the Jedi. If it ever ends up with a season two, I desperately hope they leave Mace Windu's name the fuck out of it, but at this point it is a pretty Jedi neutral show if you're willing to deal with the rest of its bullshit.

Rebels is also somewhat older now, and it has a few lines here and there that are a tad more Jedi critical, but it is by and large VERY Jedi positive and does also follow a lot of the themes of selflessness and sacrifice that go along with being a Jedi. It also has themes of mercy and patience and facing your fears in Sabine's storyline that got entirely thrown away in her later storyline. Just thought that was worth pointing out. For reasons.

TBB is also fairly Jedi neutral, but its treatment of the clones is basically the clone version of being anti Jedi, so I'm not sure it's actually any better. It just traded hating on the Jedi to hating on the clones, and I find that just as distasteful.

I can't really speak to things like comics and novels much since I don't tend to consume them really. I've read a few of the adult novels in the High Republic Phase I and the first one was genuinely very good, but there were some relatively heavy-handed Jedi critical themes within the third book of Phase I (The Fallen Star) that put me off of it a little. I haven't continued into Phase II or III at all, so I have no idea if those themes got continued in later books. I've heard generally good things about the Padawan book, I think.

The Cal Kestis video games, Fallen Order and Survivor, also have their small Jedi critical moments, but much like Rebels, it has these massive overarching themes and messages about compassion and selflessness and sacrifice and facing your fears and mercy. They are immensely Jedi positive in a lot of ways and I really enjoyed both of them.

So out of everything I have seen (and know about) the only stuff that's truly heinously and insultingly anti-Jedi is the Ahsoka show, the Acolyte, and Tales of the Jedi. Three shows and like 30% of one book. Out of a list of like ten different shows and one film and some books and video games. It's not even really HALF of the content we've been getting recently.

A lot of people talk about the Disney era like it's ruined Star Wars, or like nothing it releases has ever been good. But it just straight up isn't true. It's a little insulting to all of the genuinely wonderful work that is being done by all of these other creators to just brush aside everything that's been coming out recently as awful and bad because some of the MOST recent things have been pretty explicitly hateful towards the Jedi. It's not fun that we had the Ahsoka show immediately followed by the Bad Batch followed by the Acolyte. I hate that, too, it feels like we're on this neverending shitshow of stories explicitly aimed at hating a group of characters for no obvious good reason. But I don't think that the last 6 months or so of bullshit should overshadow some of the really beautiful stories we HAVE gotten within the last several years.

If you feel like things are getting difficult, maybe do a "good Star Wars" marathon of sorts. Watch the Prequels, followed by the Kenobi show, then Andor, then Rebels, then Rogue One, then the Original trilogy. This one long beautiful story of people stepping up to fight against selfishness and greed and darkness no matter what.

Or go rewatch Visions or read some of your favorite fanfics and remember all the things about Star Wars that are just universally cool and compelling across the world. Hell, you can try writing something of your own! Anything! A lot of my AU concepts stemmed from spite and really helped me feel a little bit better about Star Wars when it sometimes felt like I was just surrounded by the parts of it I liked the least. Go buy yourself a cool t-shirt or some fun jewelry. Find some pretty stickers and put it on a water bottle or an enamel pin to put on a canvas tote bag or a corkboard.

Curating your fandom experience goes beyond just the internet. There's a reason I am boycotting the Acolyte and it isn't because I think Disney or its creators are going to care at all. I'm doing it for ME, because I had such a shitty time watching the Ahsoka show and it made me so miserable each week that I seriously think I will be better off just leaving it the hell alone and just absorbing whatever ends up crossing my dash from a distance. I only participate in Star Wars fandom servers that I feel safe in and only really get into discussions with personal friends who I know well. If participating in Star Wars fandom is making you sad, maybe take a step back or find a way to create your own corner of fandom that feels better. Ignore the damn Ahsoka show, pretend it never existed. Ignore the Acolyte. Ignore Tales of the Jedi. Ignore Filoni-related bullshit. Focus on the parts you DO like, or give yourself the space to remember why you liked it in the first place.

#star wars #jedi #pro jedi #obi-wan kenobi #sw owk #kenobi show #kenobi series #andor #star wars andor #rogue one #star wars rebels #rebels #anti tbb #tbb wank #anti ahsoka show #anti acolyte #visions #star wars visions

[youlikefanficdontyousquidward]

Why so blue?

Prologue, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven

tag list: @luciddasher @seashelldom @goblinerrant @belos-simp69 @d4rno

Chapter Eight

Beep boop action scenes are hard. Trying to maintain a gender neutral reader, please let me know if there's anything I can do to help with that. I think other than the earlier mention of the Na'vi word for mother I've done well.

Quaritch didn't know the last time he'd felt so content. You sat relaxed by his side, Spider to his left chatting away and his squad under his control. His only want was for Jake Sully's head, then everything would be perfect.

The fires heat had made you remove your shawl, Quaritch admired the sparkling dots that littered your shoulders. Lyle kept his eyes to Mansk and Zdog, obeying Quaritch's order and then some.

Spider began humming a tune, tapping his feet to an upbeat melody. Your voice joined in, adding lyrics to this song. Miles didn't know it, must have been in Na'vi though he couldn't pick out many lyrics. To his surprise however Zdog began drumming along, using the butt of her knife against an empty tin. You sang beautifully, Quaritch was enchanted, unable to tear his gaze away from your moving lips.

You stood passing him to stand in front of Spider, who feigned some resistance but allowed himself to be pulled up, grinning the whole time. You lead him forward, placing a raised fore arm to his, you began stepping in circles. The dance wasn't too hard to follow, and by the end of the song Miles felt he knew the steps. Zdog stood, passing off her 'drum' to Lyle to keep going.

You stood together, her teaching you a snaking hip movement. You followed easily, Zdog leaving to call Mansk to join her and hauling him off the ground when he didn't. You laughed lightly, singing another tune as you swayed and twisted silhouetted in the fire light.

Spider flopped down next to him again, Slightly out of breath. "You should get up there." He smiled, raising his eyebrows. Quaritch looked stunned but Spider just laughed at him. "I'll push!"

Miles stood and walked to you. He felt like a teenager, about to ask his crush out. Palms sweating and throat tightening. He thought with years worth of experience in memory he wouldn't feel so nervous. You continued swaying, turning to him, smiling lightly. At least you seemed to be equally blushing, your ears and tail twitching as your voice wavered slightly. He followed his memorized steps, dancing with you the way you'd done with Spider. You relaxed into it, changing the moves slightly to be closer to him. Shifting round to dance with your back pressed to his chest. He felt too hot but he couldn't leave your side, he didn't want this moment to end but it did.

Mansk began yelling, swinging his gun up to point out at the water. Miles pulled you behind him, drawing his own weapon and staring out into the inky water for the threat. The river flowing gently, he saw nothing churn the water, save the few larger rocks that broke the surface.

You gripped his bicep before pointing out. "There!" You whispered to him. He saw it now, the size of a bus, scaled and swimming fast towards them, spines cutting a smooth path. Spider was near, a few meters to his side, close to Lyle and the banshees. Zdog and Mansk where on his other side, guns readied.

The creature broke the surface, its momentum allowing it to leap into the air before crashing down in the middle of your semi circle. It was massive. Huge body dousing the flames, throwing the surroundings into their glowing state. Miles would have called it a crocodile. It was several times the size but with a very similar jaw and teeth. again just several times bigger. It's six legs where short and muscular and its tail was long, thin and ended in a spiked ball, like a medieval mace. It's body was an inky black, making it hard to see unless in front of the glowing shrubbery. Only its spines held a deep blood red colour.

He opened fire, aiming around its nose and eyes, hoping these parts wouldn't be as strongly protected. The other recoms followed suit, muzzles flashing light up the creature as it roared and reared back. It lunged suddenly towards Zdog and Mansk, who rolled under its bite. The sound its jaw made when it's teeth clashed together rivaled the gunshots.

Its long tail whipped towards him. He gripped the back of your neck, bringing you down to the ground with him. The banshees screeched, taking flight to avoid the beast, roaring up at them. It stood on it's hind legs to try reaching for them, snapping at the lowest flying ones. Lyle shot at it's exposed underbelly, finally seeming to draw blood. The creature screeched, flailing back, its tail thrashing around wildly. It struck Spider and sent him hurling back into the mud, before it slipped back into the water.

You scrambled up, running towards Spider's prone form. Quaritch kept his gun trained on the water a few more moments. The creature seemed to have fled, and the banshees had settled landing back down again. He followed over to Spider.

You had him cradled on your lap, wiping muck away from his torso. Quaritch's breath caught in his throat. Two large gashes ran across his chest, they were shallow, hardly bleeding but Spider wasn't conscious. You'd began raking through you're bag desperately, mumbling quickly to yourself.

"What is it? What's wrong with him." Miles felt his concern growing more every moment Spider's eyes remained closed. The hit was hard sure but not enough to leave him like this, not without hitting his head?

"Poison, it's barbs are poisonous!" You were frantic, openly crying as you kept searching. "I don't have it, I don't have anything to help." Miles felt cold, Zdog leaned forward.

"We gotta get him back to base, they've got everything, they fix him." Zdog was right, they kept anti-venoms for every creature on this planet. Accept even flying they were a day's ride from any base.

"How long does he have? Y'N! how long?" He had to kneel down to you, gripping your shoulder to get you to pay him attention.

"Hours, maybe less, I've never seen a human affected by this before." You were just holding him now, bag abandoned. His breath was quickening and a thin layer of sweat coated him.

"The tree..." You stopped, turning to grip Mile's arms. "We have to get him to the tree. Please." You looked pleadingly, lip quivering. Miles paused a moment, you meant the spirit tree, a sacred place, you wouldn't allow the others to come, hell he wasn't sure how close he'd be permitted. It could be a trick, to get him alone and attempt an escape but Miles didn't care. You wouldn't risk Spider's life, he could trust that.

"Come on." He took Spider from you, carrying him in his arms towards Cupcake. He felt so small in his arms, like he'd felt when he was still just a baby. He was so limp though, cold and pale. Nothing like his memory of his pink new born body. You followed along with him, mounting behind him. Wrapping arms around his waist.

"Follow that stream, the red ferns..." You were still panicking, your mind racing and making it hard to keep from speaking your mother tongue.

"I'll radio in, follow if I've not radioed by 0900." Miles ordered Zdog, she'd followed after you, taking her hand left from your shoulder to salute and Miles thought his commands to Cupcake.

He felt Cupcake's concern as well as his own as he flew. His own unsteady breathes echoing through his ikrans chest. The route he followed brought you both closer to the chemical spills, the plants loosing colour and density as you went. From up high it was easiest seen in the lack of light given off, as the living mosses that lit up the forest floors died in the sour waters.

He felt your body rack with sobs against his back. He couldn't think, he had to focus on getting you there, something there must be able to save him. He couldn't loose him now, he'd only just won him back

He could have missed the dead tree. No light shone from its almost empty branches. He remembered photos of the place from his human life. It'd once been very similar to the tree of souls the forest clans had. Shorter but wider, like a willow, it had glowed the same purplish pink. Though that colour had faded and gotten more reddish as the water poisoned, before going dark. He'd never thought of it again until now, it was some savages stupid tree several clicks from any concern of his. Now here he was hoping against all odds that it would help.

You dismounted before Cupcake had even touched down. Reaching up to take Spider from him. He moved him gently into your arms, following after as you walked quickly to under the tree. You laid him gently at the root, before burying your hand in the deep roots. Miles hovered back, he wanted to come closer to hold Spider but it felt wrong to him. To even be this close, he felt at any moment you'd hiss him away, even dead this was an intensely important place to you.

You pulled out a carved wooden box, humming as you searched its contents.

"Miles please..." You held your hand out to him. eyes still down and searching with your other hand. He was over in a few strides, kneeling by Spider's side and putting his hand in yours. Your head flicked up and to your joined hands. You moved his hand to Spider's chest.

"How is he?" You opened a jar sniffing it before beginning whatever preparations you needed. Miles felt his neck for his pulse.

"His hearts hammerin', he's so cold, shakin'." He heard his voice quivering. He was trying so hard to keep it together, he didn't want you to see him weak. You moved to your human boy now, spreading something bitter smelling across his chest. You brought a strange spouted bowl to his mouth, pouring its contents in, then tipping Spider's head back to swallow it. You felt his forehead with your own now, hands still shaking against his cheeks.

You began whispering prayers, voice shaking. Tears still fell gently, dropping down into the mud beneath you. Miles waited by Spider's side, his breath still rapid. He felt anger rising in him, was this it? Was this all that could be done? Some back water witch doctoring!? He was going to start yelling when a flash caught his eye.

The roots around Spider strobed, light pulsing towards his form. He groaned, you grabbed his hand.

"Ma Spider?" You called to him. Miles watched as the roots close to his neck moved, tiny white tendrils shifted out binding around one another into a tight rope. It snaked to connect to where Spider's skull would meet his spine. Miles reached out.

"The hell are these things" He wanted to brush them off. This strange plant intended to grow into his son.

"No no!" You held his hand, stopping it. "she's helping, let her help." You looked him in the eye, you seemed so sure that he relented, pulling his hand back. You moved your braid in front of you, following down it's length to reveal the swirling tendrils of your queue. You placed it down on the root connected to Spider.

Miles watched your pupils dilate before your eyes fluttered shut. You smiled, tears still falling and reached out to touch Spider's face. He groaned again though he sounded less pained this time. You opened your eyes and looked over to him. Miles felt confused, this whole situation was beyond him but whatever was happening was helping Spider so he could live with it. You reached up to cup his cheek, your thumb moving across under his eye. He hadn't noticed when he'd started to cry, he just scoffed turning his head away from you. Your hand remained however, gentle stroking before moving behind to hold the base of his queue.

Miles breath hitched, the strange alien feeling of your hand running down the length of it as you brought it forward. It was so sensitive even through the braid. Your thumb pushed lightly at the base to expose his own tendrils before you moved it towards the root.

Quaritch snapped out of the moment. Pulling his queue from you, throwing it behind his back again.

"Don't you. ." You began.

"No." He interrupted. He did not want to do whatever this was. He'd let his thing save his son if he had too but he was not going to connect his brain to this half dead zombie tree god.

Your shoulders slumped slightly, you took your own queue from the root before gently stroking hair from Spider's face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren't sure you would ever stop crying at this rate. Between fear and worry for Spider then elation at the anti-venom still being there you'd been exhausted from the emotional highs and lows. To top it all off the spirits of your people had awaken to assist you, accepting Spider as their own and connecting him to Eywa. You connected yourself, feeling her, feeling the echos of the past then Spider himself. It was fuzzy clearlystill affected by the poisoned waters. He was there though, with your parents, with your teacher, with all life that ever there was. Your son, finally connected the way he'd dreamed he could.

You wanted to share this with Miles. It felt right to have him here, he had every claim to Spider as you did. He was different now too, you could feel it. He sat here with you under in the heart of your home, in the most sacred place. He'd been hesitate to join you, treading respectively over the roots, but he'd pulled away. Rejecting communion with Eywa. You supposed it was likely just too far a step, too soon in his journey for that moment. Still he stayed by Spider's side as his breathing slowed to a restful pace. You poured water from his canteen into a bowl and began to wipe the sweat from Spider. His stripes were all but gone now and you made note to reapply them when he woke. From what you'd felt when connected it wouldn't be too long, by morning most likely and you'd said so to Miles.

He stood outside the boundaries of the tree now, where he'd gone to 'radio in'. He'd touched the thing around his neck and spoke to Mansk. Jake had one, so had Norm, they'd used them to speak from great distances. You'd liked the idea of having one for Spider and yourself but never asked. He stayed there now, looking around with his hand on the top of his gun, keeping a watch. Spider was clean and just resting now, so you shifted to kneel by the roots. There had been many treasures kept here, important medicines, personal artifacts of your teacher and your fingers grazed what you'd searched for.

You stepped out to join Miles, he didn't turn to you.

"He rests now, we're safe here. No thing can harm another here." Miles sighed looking back to say something. It didn't make it out however as he just stared at you. Suddenly bashful, you rocked on your heals making the skirt sway. You'd found your ceremonial garb, the one made for when you'd grown up. You'd never had the opportunity to wear it before now, though you remembered feeling the fabric in your tiny hands. The top was ridged lacing gold, it swirled patterns across your chest like creeper plants. Small jewel beads where woven into the ends of each stem, more concentraited at the high choker like neck. The skirts were long, to the ankle and white, with high slits right up to the top of your thigh. The belt was patterned with shining turquoise stones. You'd even found the earrings, beaded headdress and nose ring to match. It felt too much now, you tugged at the skirt and fiddled with the earrings. This was for ceremony, yours or any you would be called upon to perform.

"I was to wear this when I became Tsahìk..." You felt silly now, maybe you should just take it off. Miles reached out to you though, fingers meeting your arm, before traveling up. By your shoulder he'd placed his whole hand on you and the other had joined it on your other side. You looked into his eyes, they were half lidded, his face relaxed.

"You look..." He trailed off, hand coming up to cup your cheek. His eyes fell to your lips and he stopped, waiting. With a sudden rush of courage you closed the gap. letting your lips meet.

It'd been a long time since you'd kissed another and it'd been barely more than a peck. This was different, though you'd began slowly Miles had quickly deepened this kiss. His fingers tangled into your hair, tilting your head up and tugging you closer. You trailed your hands up his sides, letting them rest on his shoulders. He stopped suddenly, your mouth chasing after his slightly but he wasn't gone long. He lifted you up, hands behind your knees. You squealed. wrapping your legs around his waist for balance. He laughed at your response before diving back to you. His tongue grazed your lip, you parted them letting him in. It was intoxicating the way he kissed, like nothing you'd ever experienced before. You let your hands roam, across his broad chest, up his neck, into his hair. It felt nicer than you'd imagines, the close cropped hair like velvet. You felt Miles groan into your mouth, you gave it an experimental tug. His head rolled back as he groaned, smirking he looked back to you.

"You don't know what your doing to me sweetheart." You smiled leaning in to kiss him again. He moved to sit, keeping you straddled across his lap. His hands were free to move now and he wasted no time, exploring your body. Griping and pinching as he went, eliciting moans from you when he touched someplace sensitive.

The movement was quick, he tugged your kuru round in front of you and made to connect it with his own. You jumped up suddenly, taking quick paces back to create space.

"No! no, you can't do that!" Your voice between a whisper and a shout. You didn't want to disturb Spider but you needed him to understand the importance of what he almost did.

"I just thought..." He trailed off, still sat there with his own kuru in his hands. You held yours to your chest.

"You don't, You didn't think! This is sacred, sacred! Do you understand, you can't just! It's so important and you only do it once and..." You struggled to convey yourself properly in English, stumbling over your words unable to find just the right ones to explain it.

"Right. Don't touch." Miles dropped his kuru now crossing his arms. You didn't think he understood you, not properly. You stepped back over to him.

"Can touch here..." You took his hand again in your own, guiding it to your face, "Here..." You brought his palm down your neck to your chest again. His breath quickened again, eyes growing dark with something you couldn't place . "here" You moved his hand back to your hip again. He ran his fingers against the base of your tail making you shudder.

"Here?" He questioned back, running his fingers down to its base again. You just nodded swiftly, feeling like your voice would betray you somehow. He pulled you in closer again, resting his head against your stomach, breathing in your scent.

"Well alright then." He smiled against you. You dropped your hand to his scalp again, massaging it.

You spent most the night like this, gently caressing one another, staying close. Miles seemed to be trying to take it slower with you now. Laying down under the tree again and holding you tucked in beside him. You relaxed into him, feeling safer here than you had in weeks. You closed your eyes and slept.

#quaritch x you #miles quaritch x oc #quaritch x reader #miles quaritch #colonel quaritch #avatar imagine #avatar #my posts #spider socorro #zdog #mansk #my fics #why so blue

[hornyf0ckers]

Not your typical background character

Summary:

You have the TSL battle with Leviathan

Previously: “If you think you're the only one worth watching stuff you like, then how about we compete to see who the bigger TSL fan is?”

Warnings/tags:cursing, gender neutral reader Pronouns: you/they

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5(You're here)

Taglist:

If you want to be tagged comment: @ on the most recent Part (Once tagged, always tagged in this story unless requested otherwise)

@isya1201 @jasthelazyelf @sakinotfound @myphilosophertrash @heahuhahah @imanonandawkward @everynameistakenhuh @imvivian @pichulakkjkk @simpinginthecorner @nightshadeheart11 @soloomon @uwak-uwak-uwak-uwak @001101bean110100 @thebixchyravenclaw @saccharineconcinnity @hiilikeanimelol @leviussykinner @megacuntsandwichuniverse @sleep-alldayyy-day-everyday @lee-nore @lovelessaching @pichulakkjkk @midoriima @celestialbluebed @mammoncwan @jiwlys @nemesis-21 @mainblogitis @eroscastle @mace-tan-official @m1ss-c4mrader1e @yumni-whodat @itszerotwoo @shoooooooooda @flowersbloomintheheart @coloursplash666 @pura-stella-ardenti @willburzone @plantsimp @smileypenxilkid @eyes-stuff @dope-bitch @thespiderinyourroom @tendous-socks @aaaaaaatcho @willohwhispers @fatametoo @marvelous-maniac @lilac-wings

(Will be continued in the comments due to maximum Tags reached)

“What? Where did that come from?”, Levi exclaimed. “Do you seriously think you could beat me in a competition involving TSL? Haha, that's hilarious! As if I'd actually accept a challenge like that. I mean, I already know what the outcome would be.” Levi didn't seem to take you seriously, but you used that to your advantage.

“Afraid of losing?”, you cockily raised your eyebrows at him, which stunned Levi. “Excuse me? Did you process anything I just said? Where are you getting this idea that I might actually lose to you?", Levi snapped back at you but that only made you want to take it further.

"I knew it. You ARE afraid, then?", you mocked him. Levi snapped back at you, but that only made you want to take it further. “I knew it. You ARE afraid, then?”, you mocked him.

"Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?! Are you processing ANYTHING I'm saying here?!”, Levi shouted angrily.

“Levi's a chicken!, you continued” “Hey! Watch what you say, human!” “Levi's an otaku!”, MC joined. “Well, yeah, can't argue with ya there”, Mammon said. “Levi's a…”, you pursued before Levi interrupted you.

“…Fine. If that's what you want, I'll do it. I accept your challenge. We'll compete to see which one of us loves TSL more, you or me. Just one thing, though. If you lose, you might never make it back to the human world alive. But you still want to do this, right? Okay," he nodded and stormed off.

After that you went to RAD. After a few periods you walked through the halls but only to be stopped by Satan and Beelzebub.

"Hello there, Y//N," Satan said. "I heard about what's happening. It seems you and Levi are going to have a little competition."

"Yeah what about it?", you answered.

"... Are you hoping to find out what's in the attic room? Is that it?”, Beelzebub asked.

“Not really, no”, you replied. It wasn't a lie, after all, MC was the one who desperately wanted to go up there.

“But you plan to use Levi's TSL soundtrack to distract Lucifer, right? Mammon already told me. There's no need to try and hide it. I'll let you in on a nice piece of information. Levi is the demon of envy. If you can work him into a jealous frenzy, he'll lose control of himself. Then he'll be guaranteed to slip up somehow, giving you an opening you can exploit. Just one thing, though. If Levi does lose control of himself, your life will also be in danger,” he commented.

“Why did you decide to tell me that?” It was weird that they offered you free advice like that. Do they want something in return? They never seemed interested in you, what's the change all of a sudden?

“No reason. Just felt like it, that's all..”, Beelzebub answered. Satan hesitated for a moment before speaking to you, “I'll give you a piece of advice, too. The DVD version of TSL is up to season 7 now. That's the most recent release. Meanwhile, the original book version is up to volume 8 at this point. Volume 9 of the book isn't out yet. But if you want to know what's going to happen in it, you should ask Simeon.”

“Why are you offering up free advice like that?, you questioned.

"No reason. Don't read too much into it. I enjoy making things difficult for Lucifer, that's all”, he smiled. You didn't know how to react to that.

After that, you were sitting with Mammon and MC in Devildom history class. You told them about what happened in the hallways earlier.

“So, let me get this straight…You're tellin' me that Beel and Satan both gave you hints for how to defeat Levi?”, Mammon suspiciously questioned, to which you nodded. “Ya don't say… How VERY interesting…Well, ya know why they did that though, right? It's all because I'm helpin' ya. You've got Mammon to thank for this!”

You just sighed at his comment, to which MC just shrugged her shoulders. Mammon kept on talking about how it's because of him and that I should be grateful. You just looked at him annoyed, seriously, how arrogant can someone be?

“Are you Insane?” You glared at him.

“WHA?! Whaddya mean am I insane?! Look at me… Do I look insane to you? No! And another thing… You REALLY need to learn to show some respect toward demons, got it?” He barked at you. “Ugh, forget it. Let's just get down to business. You and me need to figure out what our strategy's gonna be with this Levi thing. First off, what Beel told you is right. If you can make Levi jealous, he's bound to lose his cool. Though there's no guarantee he won't kill ya if that happens. But that's just how it's gotta be. There's no way you'll beat Levi in a competition over who's the bigger TSI nerd. Not if you fight fair. You'd best face up to the fact that this is gonna involve a little risk...So, we've gotta figure out how you're gonna manage to make him jealous. He may be called the Avatar of Envy, but it's hard to make him give in to it. Instead of gettin' super jealous of you, he'll get all negative about his own situation. He'll start talkin' about how it's “not fair and you're "lucky" and stuff. You're not gonna be able to get him to lose his cool just by doing a little bragging. No, you're gonna have to do somethin' to make him REAL jealous. So jealous that he nearly pops a blood vessel,” Mammon explained.

“Hmm… Maybe we have to ask someone for advice”, MC suggested. “How about we ask Solomon? He hangs around Leviathan doesn't he?”, you proposed. “Right, all right then, let's get movin'! Time to go see what Solomon has to say,” Mammon stood up and with that, you three head off to seek Solomon's advice, you can only hope that it will help you figure out how to make Leviathan jealous.

The day of the TSL Quiz finally arrived.

MC was standing next to Mammon, accompanied by his brothers and Diavolo.

Asmodeus picked up the microphone and announced cheerfully, “All right, everyone! Finally, the wait is over! It's time for Devil's Trivia Showdown, the quiz show that pits demon against human! Today our competitors will be testing their knowledge regarding a super-famous, super-popular fantasy series. One that's known by young and old alike… The Tale of the Seven Lords! Now, it's time to introduce our two competitors. First, he's a demon who freely admits to being a giant TSL nerd! Meet Leviathan!”

“I am the G.O.A.T. None can oppose me!”, Leviathan cheered. "And his challenger claims to have been introduced to TSL only very recently after binge watching the DVDs! Say hello to Y//N!”

You looked Leviathan in the eyes and said, “You're going down, Leviathan.” Leviathan glared at you and responded, “You binge-watched the DVDS ONCE. That's it! The fact that you would dare challenge me is an insult to TSL itself. It's sacrilege! It's so infuriating that I can't even feel the anger. I can only laugh. AHAHAHAHA.”

“Serving as judge for today's competition is our very own Demon Lord himself, Diavolo! Asmodeus announced.

“Hello there, everyone. Good to see you”, Diavolo introduced himself"

”Commentary will be provided by Satan, Avatar of Wrath. But a good commentator needs to keep a cool head. I wonder, is he really up to the task?” Asmodeus turned to satan who responded, “I don't think that's going to be a problem. So, I'm doing the commentary? That's a lot of responsibility.”

“Now, say hello to our guest demon, the always-famished Beelzebub! For his appearance fee, he requested to be compensated in cheeseburgers. How very Beel of him…” Asmodeus introduced Beelzebub, who was munching on his food.

"And your host for the day is none other than yours truly, Asmodeus. The demon who can make you swoon simply by whispering into your ear. You all know me, you all love me.”

“All right, enough. This is gettin' ridiculous. Let's get this show on the road!” Mammon groaned.

“I thought you hated wasting your time at events like this, Mammon. Yet here you are. Truly, wonders never cease”, Lucifer teases Mammon who responded with, “Shut up, Lucifer. MC dragged me here, that's all.”

And with that the battle began.

“Well then, we'll start with you, Y//N. Get ready for TSL Quiz question number one! The seven lords are all brothers, and each has a specific name that people know them by. In birth order, name the oldest, second-oldest, and third-oldest lords.” Asmo turned to you. You thought for a second before responding. “…Corruption, then Fools, then Shadow.

"Well, how about that! You're absolutely correct! Way to start the game off on the right foot, Y//N!" Asmo cheered you on. Leviathan rolled his eyes at that statement and huffed in annoyance. "Oh come on. Anybody could've gotten that one right."

"Mm, my cheeseburgers came with onion rings, the king of all side items. Yum", Beelzebub munched on his food.

"All right, Leviathan, it's your turn now. Here comes question number one! In what year did the Lord of Shadow build the Blue Palace for his imaginary mistress?" Asmo continued.

"Year 693 of the ancient era", Leviathan replied casually. "Correct! What an impressive showing from the self-described TSL nerd!" Asmo cheered him on which causes Leviathan to beam with pride."In me you bear witness to a legend!"

"Even so, is it just me, or was that question a little too specific? Only a mega nerd would know that", Satan stated to himself.

"This is shapig up to be quite entertaining, isn't it, Lucifer?" Diavolo beams with excitement. "I'm glad you find it to your liking, Diavolo", Lucifer nods. "All right, back to you now, Y//N!" Asmodeus turns to you. "Get ready for TSL Quiz question number two! This sixth lord is the Lord of Flies. What does he love to eat more than anything else?"

You paused for a moment before responding. "A cursed goat tartare sandwich with cheese."

"Correct! Very impressive! That was a tough one! You really do know your stuff, don't you?! Hmm... A cursed goat tartare sandwich with cheese... Is that sort of like a cheeseburger, more or less?" Asmodeus commented which made Beelzebub drool over Mammon.

"Hey, Beel, come on! Take a napkin to that stream of comin' outta your mouth! It's gettin' all over my clothes!"

"Now back to Mr. Reliable himself, Leviathan! Here comes question number two!" Asmodeus continued. "In The Tale of the Seven Lords Volume 3, page 724, what does the Lord of Fools say in the fifth line from the top?"

Leviathan took a few seconds before replying, "Money is my dearest friend and closest companion. It's everything to me. The blood bonds I share with my brothers are like the weak, wispy threads of a spider by comparison."

"Amazing! That is correct! An exact match word for word!" Asmo cheered. "The more I learn about the Lord of Fools, the clearer it is that he's a total scumbag," Satan commented. “…Hey, why does it feel like you're insulting ME right now?" Mammon scowled.

"All right, moving on... It's your turn now, Y//N! Say hello to question number three! This is regarding the fifth brother, the Lord of Lechery. Who does he love more than anyone else?"

"Himself," you said, that wasn't really a question you had to think hard about. "Well, well! Excellent! You are absolutely right! So, the fifth lord loves himself above all else. I like that. Sounds like my kind of guy." Leviathan grew more impatient by the minute. "Come on, hurry up! Let's go! It's my turn now." Asmodeus continued, "Leviathan, you've gotten every single question correct thus far. But prepare yourself, because question number three is coming at you! In Volume 4 of the DVD series, at exactly 159 minutes and 35 seconds in, what is the Lord of Masks holding in his left hand?"

"He's holding a flower from a carnivorous grodoodle plant, grown by the Lord of Corruption," Leviathan answered, which left your mouth wide open. How can someone memorise something like that? "Excellent! That only flashed on screen for the briefest of moments, and yet you still caught it! Amazing! Your knowledge truly is extensive! In fact, I'd even say it's creepy!" Asmo stated. "Hey, is it just me, or have all of my questions been way harder than Y//N's? Like, suspiciously harder. Though they're still so easy for me that I'm ready to fall asleep here. Anyway...How long are we going to keep this charade up? This is getting boring." Leviathan uttered. Mammon nodded in agreement. "Yep, I'd say it has. All right, Y//N, it's time to pull out the big guns! Let's see how Levi here likes your trump card!"

"Levi, you're way too full of yourself. Which is why we're about to reach inside you, yank out that pride, and crush it like a bug!" MC exitedly proclaimed, giving you a thumbs up. Leviathan's eyes widen in confusion. "What...?", he muttered. Diavolo slightly smiled. "Well, well, interesting..." "All right Y//N, it's time to pull out the big guns! Let's see how Levi here likes your trump card!" Mammon smirked. "Wow! It sounds to me like the gauntlet has just been thrown down! It would seem Y//N has some sort of trump card to use against Leviathan! Perhaps now would be a good time to check in with our color commentator. Satan, what do you hink this could be about?" Asmodeus asked, turning to Satan.

"Well, it's not at all surprising that Y//N would come into this with a secret weapon. It seems that the advice I gave is about to pay some dividends. Excellent," Satan smiled, smirking to himself.

"Just a minute... Satan, are you telling us that you provided aid to Y//N? How very wicked of you! I suppose this would be a good time to get your take on this as well, Beel," Asmo said.

Leviathan seemed to grow more nervous by the second, which made you snicker. Beelzebub took one last bite out of his food before responding, "If you want to hear what have to say, it's going to cost you. Let's say one extra-large bowl of katsudon and some miso soup to go along with that." "OK, whose idea was it to invite Beel to this, huh?! He's done nothing but eat this entire time!" Asmodeus groaned.

"In any event, if Y//N really does have a secret weapon, it could mean something that will make winning against Leviathan possible! Perhaps we should hear what Y//N's opponent thinks about this. Tell me Levi, what's running through your head right now?! "ROFLMAO! l000000000000000000000000000L !" Leviathan laughed but you could see he was a bit nervous, even if the others didn't seem to notice.

"Right... I have absolutely no idea what you're saying! But clearly you don't see this as a threat.... Got it! So, what could this trump card of Y//N be?! Let's find out...!" Asmodeus announced. With that, you took out the pendant Solomon loaned you. It had the shape of a single wing. Leviathan eyes widen in shock as he observed the pendant.

"W...wait a minute, is that...? I don't believe it! It's the Lord of Corruption's lost wing pendant-the platinum version! That's incredibly, incredibly rare... It's legendary! H-How did you get that...?! That pendant was only sold in extremely limited quantities to commemorate the release of Volume 1. It's a veritable TREASURE! Any TSL fan would KILL for that. GAH! I...I can't bear to look at it! It's just...too...beautiful...!" He averted his eyes.

"Huh, so it's really that special? Well, I guess Solomon really is as big of a TSL fan as he claims. How about that," MC stated.

"All right, um... Okay, I suppose that settles who the true TSL nerd is..." Before Asmodeus could finish his announcement Leviathan interrupted. "I won't stand for this", he clenched his fists in rage. "All you did was stay up one night marathoning the DVDs. The idea that someone like YOU could actually be a bigger TSL fan than me, it's..."

"Wh-Whoa, calm down there, Levi...!" Mammon tried to calm Leviathan down but to no avail."

"No... no, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIIIIIS!" Leviathan steps towards you. "Uh-oh...! Y//N, run! Get out of here!" MC screamed in terror. You did what was best and ran away, atleast you tried to. Leviathan held your wrist tightly with his tail, which made you wince out in pain. "Let go off me you bitch! You are an awful loser", you yelled, trying to get your wrist free. Mammon and MC ran towards you. "Y//N!" MC shouted. "Dammit, I'm not gonna make it in time...!" Mammon gritted his teeth in frustration. You managed to get free from his hold, only for you to fall to the ground. Before Leviathan could strike again, someone stood between the both of you. You confusedly look up.

"That's enough", he said. "I believe you were going to settle this via a QUIZ, weren't you? Not through violence. You're out of control, Levi", Lucifer said with a frown on his face. "L...Lucifer..." Leviathan stuttered. Both Mammon and MC halted in their tracks, visibly shoked like the rest. "Unbelievable! Just as Leviathan was about to strike who should step in and stop him but the one and only Lucifer himself! Simply incredible!" Asmodeus proclaimed. "I haven't seen you leap to someone's rescue like that in quite some time, Lucifer" Satan smirked, visibly amused. Beelzebub only munched on his food which had caught in his throat. "Levi, go back to your room and cool off", Lucifer sternly said. Leviathan hesitated before Diavolo joined in, "Levi? You heard what he said, right?" "... Yeah", Leviathan muttered. Mammon kept quiet which Lucifer took notice. "What is it, Mammon? You look like you want to say something", he said. “…No. I don't wanna say nothin'?" Mammon mumbled, not looking Lucifer in the eye.

Leviathan left causing an uncomfortable silence to breake out. "So, what're we going to do now? How are we supposed to have our competition without Levi?" Asmo broke the tension. "I guess this means the competition ends in a draw. Neither one of them won," Diavolo replied. "I've got an idea. You should give your guest free cafeteria meal tickets as a parting gift. Fifty years' worth ought to do the trick", Beelzebub suggested, earning a few sighs from the brothers.

"Still, I have to say I find it surprising that you would go out of your way just to rescue a mere human, Lucifer. Very surprising...don't you agree, Mammon?" Satan turned to Mammon.

“…Huh? Why're ya askin' me?" He replied, visibly confused.

"Y//N is our friend so naturally we would want to save them!" MC joined in. Before Mammon could protest Lucifer spoke calmly, "As the oldest, it is naturally my duty to clean up my younger siblings' messes"

After this exhausting evening, you, MC, Beelzebub and Mammon were sitting on MC's gigantic Bed.

"So, ya made it out of that without being attacked, only to end up fallin' on your butt and sprainin' your wrist...Seriously, could you be any more of a klutz?" Mammon groaned, which earned him a hit from MC and a sharp glare from you.

"You humans really are way less physically capable than us demons. That's because they don't eat enough. And unlike us, they don't eat the right things", Beelzebub stated.

"Stop tying everything back to food, Beel!", Mammon barked at him. "Actually, why're you even here, anyway? Seems to me that you've been spendin' an awful lot of time here ever since the night of the DVD marathon."

"Well, so have you. I mean, you've even left a cell phone charger here. And a toothbrush, too. That's how much you're over here." Beelzebub replied. "W...well that's because, uh... you know... I've gotta look after this human, don't I? It's my job..." Mammon blushed.

While they fought, MC helped you bandage your wrist. After a while Beezlebub left the room for some snacks, leaving you with MC and Mammon.

"Of all the... Seriously, does that guy ever stop eatin'?! You'd better keep a close eye on your pizza, or he'll steal yours away next", Mammon complained.

He stopped for a moment before shyly rubbing his arm. “…Ah...um, by the way MC... There's somethin' I want you to know." Both you and MC looked at him.

"...Listen. If your life's ever in danger, I'm gonna be the one to save you, all right? Don't you forget that. … And if I can't manage to save ya, then make sure you die, got it?! I don't want no one else steppin' in and savin' you, all right?! It's me or no one, understand?!” He blushed.

MC blinked a few times before asking, “Why?”

“Because…ya know, because it's my JOB!” Suddenly a phone ran. You looked at your phone but it wasn't your D.D.D. ringing.

“Huh…? That ain't my phone. Is it yours?” Mammon asked MC.

“Hey, MC…your D.D.D.'s ringing.”

AN:

Here are 2 Poll's for you to vote how you wish the story to end (I might even make that wish come true who knows👀)

Poll for Good/bad ending

Poll for specific ending

Likes, comments, follows and reblogs are appreciated

#obey me #obey me quotes #obey me scenarios #obey me theory #obeyme x reader #obey me luficer #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me diavolo #obey me mc #obey me x reader #obey me story #obey me angst

[curls101]

Tav Loredump Round 2 (Evil Edition): Regan Coleridge

me and @ms-scholars-gown-bnoc have been embarking on our Evil playthrough while we wait for a Act 3 bug to get fixed and they're taking over our brains

LIST (from @tolkien-fantasy )

Round 1 with my good boi Ralxire

This is Regan. Human, Knowledge Domain, Cleric of Mystra. Absolutely gorgeous, but also the most power hungry woman to ever live.

Why did you pick the race you did for your Tav?

Again, I'm trying to play all the races and honestly... I think this was the only way I was ever going to play a Human. It should be the first red flag amoungst my characters - I never play humans. Especially as we'd already established my bud was going to play Drurge, I knew I was going to need to make a really neuanced Tav

Why did you pick the class you did for your Tav?

Listen... I love evil clerics. I love them. I love the idea of piety as not inherently good, but rather neutral at best. Devotion as a force of destruction is my whole shit. I also love the idea of the persuit of knowledge/power as a neutral act.

Mystra is a neutral goddess - not a good one. She is magic. Magic is a tool, something to be understood. Regan does not see magic - or Mystra - as something beautiful. It is a power that can be harnessed and should be harnessed to the extreme.

What is your character’s moral alignment?

Neutral Evil / True Neutral depending on how you look at it

 How did you choose your Tav’s name, if you gave them a unique one?

The party Drurge was already called Cordelia and King Lear happens to be my favourite Shakespeare play. Regan had the right vibe for me - plus some of her scenes have been alarmingly close.....

Coleridge is an injoke just for me. I hate Coleridge. I was made to read the Ancient Mariner in a single night and I've never forgiven him for how long it is.

What are your character’s strongest and weakest stats (strength, charisma, etc)? 

Highest is WIS at 18 (currently). Lowest is DEX at 8. She's a tank

 What is your Tav’s origin story? 

When Regan was about 10ish she was given to a clergy of Mystra. Her parents lacked the means (or, in Regan's eyes, the will) to raise her. She would have been a wizard - most precious to Mystra - but she lacked the aplitude. Knowing that ejection from the monestary would spell her doom, Regan comitted herself to reverence instead. Day in and Day out she performed perfect piety. She contented herself to a future of kneeling at Mystra's feet.

Then the mindflayers happened and suddenly kneeling didn't seem so appealing.

 What was the most significant moment in your Tav’s origin story? 

I think we're in it. But in truth, it's not a single moment that is significant. It's the day-in, day-out subservience of worship. That grated on her.

 What deity, if any, does your character worship? 

Mystra. As the font of power. In future.... perhaps a more apt god will replace her.

 What is your Tav’s biggest priority or goal?

The persuit of power, enough that she may exert it on others.

If your Tav didn’t become an adventurer, what else would they be doing?

I think she'd either still be in that Temple, or she'd become the Main Villian of another DnD campagin

What is your Tav’s most used weapon or spell? 

We're still pretty low level, but I think it will be Spirit Guardians.

 What is your Tav’s favorite school of magic/weapon type?

Her go-to is Weapon and Shield - ideally spear or mace. She's a radient magic girl

How does your Tav fight in a combat situation?

She is in the thick of it, tanking blows and throwing out healing as she can.

 Does your Tav know any other languages besides Common? 

Likely several! Celestial at the minimum

 If your Tav could/does multiclass, what other class would they choose?

Paladin. Hard to think of an Oath she wouldn't break for her convinience though

Which of the companions does your Tav trust most? 

Cordelia/Drurge is cheating, although that's probably true. She sees Gale as imminently manipulateable, so likely him. Everyone else has too much self preservation

Which of the companions does your Tav distrust most?

Shadowheart. Cleric rivalry. Also, she's smarter than she lets on

 Who is your Tav’s biggest rival?

Mystra.

 Who is your Tav romancing, if anyone?

Sorry Gale......

If you’re romancing anyone, why did your Tav fall for them? And why did that character fall for your Tav?

This is some toxic stuff. This isn't a nice romance. Gale fell for her early - and who wouldn't! She's gorgeous and devoted to knowledge. She adores Gale's long winded explainations. Her relationship to Mystra is almost as complicated as his is. He just... didn't see the red flags until it was already too late.

Does Regan love Gale? I think unfortunately yes. But she doesn't love him to make him better. She loves his aptitude for magic, his boundless ambition that drew him to the Orb. She sees his folly not as a moment of weakness - a moment where his inherent insecurity led him to do something terrible - but merely poor execution. She lacks the moral compass that would make Gale better, in another timeline.

 If you’re romancing anyone, who fell first and who fell harder?

Gale and Gale. Sorry, bud

 How does your Tav act around their crush?

So confident. In the real world, she'd be the kind of girl to act supremely aloof around her crush and it would seem like she hated them

 What is your Tav’s favorite moment they’ve had with their lover?

We haven't got to weave sex yet, but it will be weave sex

 What is your Tav attracted to? What are their turn-ons and turn-offs? 

Power, bby. Or, more specifically, ambition. The willingness to chase power.

Turn offs are laziness, lack of ambition and extreme morality

 Does your Tav have any biases against other classes or races? 

Not specifically, only moral stances

 What is the most prominent color in your Tav’s color scheme?

White + pink/orange tones. Ideally I want to lean into white + gold for peak High Priestess vibes

 What is their sense of humor like?

Sarcasm. A little mean, but not intentionally.

 What is your Tav’s guilty pleasure?

Wine and sunbathing. Lounging like a cat. Fine, expensive things - things she's never had

 How easily offended are they? How do they act when offended?

Not especially easy to offend, but if you do get on her bad side, you're never recovering

 How does your Tav react when someone insults their friend/partner?

It depends what her relationship to them is. She's not quick to violence, but verbal beratement is on the table

 How does your Tav dress for different occasions, like very fancy situations?

Regan would have the wardrobe of an empress if she could. Her fashion sense is like... Ethereal Seductress. That dress in Act 3 is going to be a staple

 How did your Tav get their scars, if they have any?

Currently, she doesn't have any. That won't last

 What is your Tav’s relationship with their family?

Nonexistant and she's going to make it everyone's problem

 What is your Tav’s opinion on nobility and authority?

Complicated. She has respect for people who are "self made", but dispises those who are in power by virtue of their birth

 How does your Tav react to wearing the Wavemother’s robe? How do they react to their partner wearing it?

She would wear it 24/7 if she could. She would LOVE Gale in it. She's exactly the kind of woman who would have a thing for dressing up their partner

 What is your Tav’s favorite type of environment? Like in a tavern, a library, out in the wilderness, underground, etc.

Library, ruins...Surrounded by lost knowledge on all sides

 What would your Tav’s Zodiac sign be?

Gemini

 What is their favorite season?

Summer

 Where in the world does your Tav want to visit the most?

Anywhere and everywhere. She's never really been anywhere

 What is the biggest mistake your Tav ever made?

This... is tricky. Unfortunately for the world, she's pretty on the up-and-up rn. She would say something like "not finding another way to apply herself to the arcane"

 What animal best represents your Tav?

You and I both know it's a Fox or a spoiled all-white Cat

 What flower/tree/plant best represents your Tav?

Angel's Trumpets! Gorgeous. One of the most deadly flowers in the world, actually part of the nightshade family. The symptoms of it's poisioning are....knarly. But it's still widely cultivated because it's just so pretty. Comes in pink.

( This means that two of my BG3 characters have toxic plant connotations btw - my drurge in my solo playthrough is a Spores Druid called Amanita Ocreta )

 What does your Tav smell like? 

Chanel CoCo Mademoiselle

 What song best represents your Tav?

When I was making her, this song came on and it was just perfect

Gale @ her though:

 ALSO this is the theme for the run:

What would be your Tav’s favorite music genre?

Pop forever

 What role would your Tav play in a highschool AU? (nerd, jock, bully, goth, etc)

Mean Girl. She's basically Regina George already

 What is the most important item your Tav has?

Regan doesn't have many! Honestly it's money. She never had money before, she didn't need it. Now it's everything

 Where does your Tav feel most at home?

The Center of Attention

 What is your Tav’s philosophy on life?

That ultimately the world is merely about power. Regan has the reductive but unfortunately common view that it is the duty of the smart and capable to grab for power, and the weak to suffer. She'd be a hustler irl.....

 Does your Tav think more with their heart or their brain?

She doesn't have a heart to think with

 What does your Tav want in their future? (domestic bliss, more adventure, a family, etc)

Stability in a position of power. Control.

 What is your Tav’s worst fear?

To be forced to serve

 Is your Tav easily tricked or deceived?

Yes. Her power grabbing is transparent

 If your Tav was granted a single wish, what would it be?

Godhood

 How does your Tav feel about keeping secrets, both their own and others?

A necessity. Secrets are to be used and traded like all else

 How would your Tav react to a love confession?

Amusement

 What are your Tav’s biggest insecurities?

That someone will see her ambition for what it is - fear and insecurity.

 What decision would your party have to make in order for Tav to consider splitting off from the group?

The destruction of knowledge. Sitting around waiting to die. All other positions she at least sees as malleable

 What is your Tav’s favorite food?

Fruits

 How generous is your Tav, especially to those they don’t know?

Regan does not believe in generosity for its own sake. Only for gain.

 If an evil character told your Tav that they wanted to change and help them, would they believe it?

Hah... Well, they'd be talking to the wrong girl

 What meme describes your Tav the best?

  What does your Tav want to be remembered by?

Influential. Strong. Powerful. Awe

 What Tarot Card best represents your Tav?

The Magician both upright and reversed

 What would be your Tav’s major in college?

Buisness or Economics

 Does your Tav consider themselves a hero, villain, victim or something else?

Victim or Hero. She is a Villian though

 How good is your Tav at giving advice? How good are they at following it themselves?

Regan only gives advice to maniplulate others into doing what she wants or to earn their trust. She doesn't take advice. She's too self-important

 How does your Tav get along with each party member?

Gale -> He loves her. She loves that about him Astarion -> They're running the same grift. They get along accordingly Shadowheart -> Tentative. Regan is who she pretends to be La'zel - > They haven't figured each other out yet Wyll - > N/A Karlach -> N/A Minthara - > Remains to be seen. But something tells me they'll get on

 What are your Tav’s other hobbies?

Reading, mostly. I think she learns sections of history for fun.

 (Free Spot: Ask any question you’d like!)

Weirdly, I always think about Caeser when I think of her? I think she's also aiming for like taking an obscure religious office and turning it into power.

#bg3 tav #WHOS READY FOR THE WORST WOMAN LOREDUMP #SHE'S A REAL PIECE OF WORK NGL #your turn kiara

[imaginarylungfish]

nothing is good or bad (or how i realized god still lives in my brain)

I grew up pretty Catholic. I don't know if my experience was extreme or not by others' standards, but to me, it felt pretty all-encompassing. My sister, mom, and I went to church every Sunday and prayed every day. I whole-heartedly believed I was born sinful, Jesus sacrificed his life for an unworthy lowlife like me, and I would go to Hell if I didn't behave in accordance with the Catholic teachings.

Looking back, it's all so absurd. How is there an imaginary man in the sky looking down at me and punishing me for being born? How did a man who lived thousands of years ago die on a cross and magically wash away the fact that I lied one day in 3rd grade? How is there a creature with horns tempting me to commit sins and lure me to a magically place with eternal fire? Like what?

It's funny because the thing that made me start to stop believing in "God" was sort of up to semantics. When my great grandpa was dying from cancer while I was in middle school, I had this prayer card from the Catholic store that said if I prayed it for 11 days straight, anything I prayed for would be granted by God. I, of course, didn't want my great grandpa to die, so I religiously prayed for those 11 days. A month later he died. I was crushed. I genuinely thought I could save him. I asked my mom why my prayers didn't work. She said it was because it wasn't God's Will. That broke my brain. What's the point of praying for something if this guy can just flip the script because that's just how he wants it? How was that fair?

Throughout high school, I still went through the motions of being Catholic (and even was confirmed), but I was skeptical. It wasn't until college that I cut ties with Catholicism and their "God" entirely.

It's been almost a decade since I've first questioned "God," yet I still have him in my brain. I thought by now, in 2023, his hold on me was gone entirely. But a conversation with my (now ex) partner nearly 6 months ago made it clear that isn't the case.

I was having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that what I thought to be the "best" in a situation was not objective. As in, it is no better to play video games all day than to go outside on a hike. Or delving deep into yourself and healing your traumas is really no better than just letting them be. It just depends on what you value and what you need in that moment. "There is no good or bad," my partner said, "it just is."

Yes, living is just living. Good and bad mean nothing other than what an individual person thinks. This made sense in my brain, but it didn't feel like a fully solidified understanding to me. I know I still unintentionally and unnecessarily assign morality to things based on my Catholic upbringing. Sex is bad. Tattoos are bad. Eating past when you're full is bad. Not being productive is bad. But why? By whose standards? Mine or the "God" that still lives in my brain?

After this conversation, I Googled some (secular) articles to analyze my thought processes. I knew I needed to expand my perspective if I wanted to integrate this new idea of neutrality into my way of thinking.

I came across a few articles written by William L. Mace Ph.D. on Psychology Today. The first was called "There is Nothing Either Good or Bad But Thinking Makes It So." In this article, Mace was asserting that everyone believes their way of thinking is the best, but it's not. It's just a way of thinking.

He talks about how people tend to gather evidence for our own way of thinking. When people don't align with our values, "we can always console ourselves [by saying], 'I may have lost to that deceitful so-and-so, but at least I came out ahead by holding to a higher ethical standard.'"

While reading this, I couldn't help but find my own self being reflected back to me. When I interact with someone who does something that doesn't make sense with my worldview, my knee-jerk reaction is to dismiss them. I rationalize to myself that they must just be morally inferior, right? I've done more self-work than them and they must just be ignorant. But on further reflection, isn't that just my ego trying to assert itself? Isn't that just the Catholic judgement I received as a child being spit back out as my own thoughts? There is no good or bad, no superior or inferior--things just are.

But realizing that is groundless. It's scary. I think, as humans, we want retribution for wrongdoing and reward for righteousness. We want punishment for sin and exaltation for virtue. (Hmm, sounds like a good basis to start a religion...) But that's just not reality.

In another article by Mace called "The Difficulty of Accepting Reality" he talks about how cognitive dissonance plays a role in our everyday lives. When we run into something (a person, a situation, etc.) that doesn't align with our beliefs, we have a choice to disregard the facts, re-adjust our own thinking, or blame something else entirely.

For example, when you're watching a movie that's hard to follow, you do your best to piece together the plot with the clues given and come up with your own interpretation of what's going on. In the end when everything is revealed, if you realize you were wrong, you can either dig in and assert you are actually right, admit you were wrong and re-adjust to the new reality, or blame the screenwriters for not making it clear enough. And there is no right answer. It's just your choice.

I was given these choices when I first broke away from Catholicism as well. After being exposed to more secular life, I realized there were some things that did not fit with my worldview of believing in God and following Catholic beliefs. I chose to re-adjust my views instead of insisting God is real. (This did not, by any means, happen overnight--it was a multi-year process of letting go and trusting my own beliefs over the arbitrary rules of the Catholic Church. Plus, it's an ongoing process.) Coming to terms with the idea that God does not exist is viewed as a lack of faith by believers and therefore I am labeled as "bad." But in my view, I am good. I escaped.

So, does that make those who still believe in God wrong? Is anyone right? My ego wants to think so, but I guess no one wins because there are no winners and losers. It's just life.

I am coming to my own conclusion that there is no better belief or way of thinking. Sure, there are codes of ethics enacted by societies. But those aren't facts. They're just collective agreements of conduct. Nothing is inherently better than anything else. Not everyone will think this way and that feels more okay to me than earlier in my life. I feel like through learning that nothing is superior or inferior, I can start chipping away at those old, deeply held beliefs from Catholicism in my mind. I, personally, don't want them there. I don't want a "God" living in my head anymore. I want more of me and my thoughts that I've cultivated through my own work, not some scripture shoved down my throat when I was 5.

Before wrapping this up, I do want to say, yes, for me, real damage was done by growing up in the Catholic Church. However, I don't blame my parents or guardians for raising me as Catholic. Nor do I think Catholicism is all-out bad (we literally spent an entire post on trying to eradicate that black-and-white type of thinking). I believe this runs deeper than mere individual fault. I know my parents thought being raised Catholic would be good for me and my sister. Even though I didn't ask for any of these negative consequences of my upbringing, here they are, and I want to do something about them, so I am not controlled by them any longer.

I want to internalize the belief that life is just life. Things are just things. There is no good or bad, no superior or inferior. There isn't much rhyme or reason to the events in my life or anyone else's. I am the one who can assign meaning to things. I don't want to follow an external set of rules, much less ones made by institutions that feed off of shame, fear, and ignorance.

If you agree or disagree or just want to see where this takes me, stick around. Thank you for your curiosity about my inner thoughts and reading this far.

-L

resources that have helped me process my Catholic trauma:

Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell: this really opened my eyes to the distorted reality the Catholic Church puts forth as "truth"

Ex-Catholic Subreddit: it's reddit, so keep your expectations low. but there are some solid posts on there that help me remember it's okay that i'm still struggling and i am not alone. plus, the "sheep no more" motto makes me smile.

We're Having Gay Sex podcast: this has helped me learn sex and pleasure, especially queer sex and pleasure, is not wrong and is okay to talk about

Queer Sex Therapy: this has also helped me normalize queer sex and queer joy

exvangelical and non-religious friends: honestly, just talking with others who have been through the same shit as you have or see how ludicrous what you learned as a child was is super affirming

#exvangelical #ex catholic #personal post #personal blog #blog #blog post #thoughts #queer #catholic trauma #god is dead #ex christian #ex fundie #ex fundamentalist #apostate #religious trauma #religious deconstruction #deconstructing christianity #atheist #atheism #agnostic #agnosticism #religious recovery #deconversion #deconstruction #lgbtq #lgbt

[peppermintchaos]

mg breakup comic script but apparently at some point i turned it into a fic ( i do not remember writing this)

Their eyes weren't supposed to look like that.

She realized that before she noticed the cuts marring their skin, before she noticed Mochi’s white-knuckled grip on their mace or the way Beta twisted the bracelets on its wrists anxiously. The air was heavy and thick. The rooftop of this office building was reduced to rubble. Ash loosened and re-adjusted their gauntlets repeatedly. Peppermint stared just past her, unnaturally still. The artificial blue eyes of their transformation looked completely hollow, devoid of that spark of determination that had shone in them as long as she had known them.

“You guys don't need me, do you?” They said suddenly. Usually, Takeover thought, that statement should be full of their usual malice, biting with anger, but now- they just sounded tired. Blood started to run down their leg from a particularly nasty cut. Beta stared harder at it’s bracelets, clearly trying to kick in the auto-healing magic that had been acting up more and more lately on both PRNCSS and Starshine.

“What-?” Ash started, until the tip of Peppermint’s rifle was pointed straight at their face, effectively shutting them up as the archer jumped back, confused. “Leaving me as bait?” Those deadened eyes looked straight at Takeover, making her deeply uncomfortable. She didn't like this feeling. “I thought we were- I thought you-” They lowered their rifle slowly, laughing emptily. “I’m worth nothing to you. Maybe you’re right. There's nothing worth saving behind that stupid-”

“Peppermint.”

“Apathetic-”

“Peppermint.”

“Fake smile of yours-”

“Peppermint, we’re exactly the same. You’re lying about who you are too.”

They stood there, blankly. Empty. The empty shell of someone else, eyes dead, like a haunted porcelain doll.

It was a sight Takeover knew well.

Suddenly, Peppermint stood on the farthest ledge of the destroyed building. “I’m done.”

Beta reached out a hand, fear glinting in its mechanical eyes.

“I quit being a magical girl.”

And with a bright blue flash, they were gone. It was almost violent in its abruptness.

Takeover wondered if those uncanny dead eyes were what everyone saw when they looked at her- if this is what they had felt when they declared that they were going to save her. Something surged through her, painful. A sudden, unfamiliar barrage of wanting.

She wanted her friend back. She didn't want to be alone again. She wanted to keep being a magical girl. She wanted to be saved. She didn't want to be trapped anymore. She didn't want to keep being afraid of her “self,” that so-called real one. Afraid that she would figure herself out and only be a disappointment. She didn't want to see that dead look in her own eyes ever again. It made her sick. Feeling anything at all made her sick. Regret, shame, sadness, all of it.

She laughed.

It was brief, nothing but two sharp exhales combined with a gentle sound that lasted all of a second. It was nothing like the polite, charming laugh that her classmates saw, that the audiences on those talk shows saw.

Peppermint looked at her, shocked, then amused.

“Didn't know you knew how to do that one.”

Takeover’s face returned to her usual neutral expression.

“...Me neither.”

The corners of her lips turned up slightly, almost imperceptible.

“Did we really just lose a member?” Mochi said, quietly.

Beta shook its head. “Maybe for now, but… everyone here was chosen for a reason.”

Ash patted the android between it’s ears. “I just love it when you say those weirdly cryptic things.” Beta smiled at them innocently.

Takeover turned to the group. “They’ll be able to take care of themself.” She was sure of that much. “It’s the rest of us that we’ll have to worry about. Our strategies will have to change.”

Something stirred in her chest. She was… upset. Didn't that feel like the right word? God, that bastard must have been right. About a lot of things.

Mochi’s face moved into the center of her vision. “Are you ok? You look really, um, angry.”

Takeover felt her face contort against her will. “I am,” she said. “How stupid is that?”

“What... are you upset about?”

“They won that stupid bet. I’m real after all.”

[heartbeatan]

Crimson Park (Chapter 15)

Return to Chapter 14.

Return to Table of Contents.

Return to Desperado Series.

Return to Jungkook Fanfictions.

Return to Masterlist.

Chapter 15

You paced the floor of your apartment that night, stopping at the window to stare over the park, then wandering back into the darkness. He was late - and you needed him to get there before Jungkook awoke to an empty bed.

You crossed the floor again and noticed two figures in the darkness approaching the entrance to the park. You weren’t expecting two, and it made your nerves race. That ungrateful fucker better have come through, and not tried to fuck you over. But then you realised who Mace was with - Zoya.

You made a pit stop at your bedroom door, peering in to make sure that Jungkook was still sound asleep, then you slipped out of your apartment, down the stairs and into the night as you made your way to the park.

When you found them, they were standing hand-in-hand, and you eyed the scene with skeptical curiosity.

"I took your advice. I'm leaving Dongnam. Tonight," Zoya said.

"That's good. But you shouldn't be telling me this," you glanced at Mace. "You shouldn't be telling anyone this."

"I know you said to come alone, but she has something for you," Mace spoke.

"I also told you not to say anything to anyone," you lightly warned him.

"I'm not going to rat you out, Y/N," Zoya said as she handed you a manila envelope. "I'm leaving for good - right after this."

You took the envelope and scanned the contents inside, keeping your expression neutral. "Where did you get this?"

"It sort of fell into my lap. Which honestly makes me a bit suspicious, so take that as your warning. But I figured I'd leave it to you to decide."

"Why are you helping me?"

"You helped that girl and I did nothing - I guess this is my atonement.

"Thank-you." You then turned to Mace. "And you?"

"It's in there too," he nodded to the envelope in your hand, and you went about sifting through it more thoroughly.

"Good work," you said when you were satisfied. "Consider us even."

The three of you stood around awkwardly, unsure what to do next.

"Well, have a good trip," you said to Zoya, then you looked to Mace. "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?"

He nodded and Zoya walked several paces down the path while you and Mace walked several in the other direction.

"You know you can't go with her," you said when you were out of earshot. "They'll come for you, and if she's with you when they find you, she'll be dead too."

"I'm not going with her. At least not right away. My plan is to go in a few months, lose my tail, and then we'll meet up."

"It's still risky, Mace."

"She gets that. I don't want to do this anymore. Surely, you understand that."

"But I would never drag someone else into it and put them at risk."

His lips formed a thin line. "Then what kind of life would I be running to?"

His question stunned you, although you should have expected that kind of response from a romantic like him.

"I shouldn't know about you two... because if they questioned me, I won't be sticking my neck out for either of you."

"I wouldn't stick my neck out for you either. But I know you know where I'm coming from."

"Just be careful. Don't take any shortcuts, and don't involve me in it."

"You know," he said slowly, "if you go through with this, and Dongnam finds out - you're not going to walk away."

"I know."

���

When Jungkook woke, he found you in the living room seated at your window table, the envelope under your hand as you tapped your nails over it in thought.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I'll tell you later," you scooped up the package and rounded the kitchen to empty your coffee mug. "I need to go pack. I spoke to the Chairman, and we're leaving in an hour."

"Why?"

"Because the sooner we leave, the sooner I can come back." He looked stiff, and frustrated, and you could tell an argument was brewing within him. "We don't have time to go over this again. Just be ready in twenty. We're taking the SUV."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, pushing his feelings aside and putting on his formal mask. But before you walked too far past him, he snatched you into his arms, and his lips and teeth sucked hard into your neck, making a popping sound when he released.

It hurt slightly, and you covered the spot which was now hot.

"Did you just give me a fucking hickey?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"You asshole," you punched his arm, then stormed off to your closet, hiding your blush and grin.

⁂

Jungkook pulled the SUV along the tarmac, which was lined with luxury private jets, stopping in front of Hangar 9.

You angled the mirror to look yourself over, smoothing strands of hair back into place, wiping the rim of your lip to ensure your lipstick stayed behind its line, then you stretched your neck and inspected the red and blue bruise Jungkook left you with.

"How did you do that so quickly?" you asked in amazement.

"I have many hidden talents I haven’t shown you yet."

"Stay here. Until we're in the air."

"Can I kiss you before you go?"

"You'll smudge my lipstick," you said bluntly, exiting the car.

The Chairman was waiting for you in the hangar, while his pilot and crew finished their inspections. In his unbuttoned shirt, linen pants, and shades, he looked like a bona-fide fuckboy, but not the type that peaked your libido.

"You look stunning, as always, Ms. Park," he greeted you with a sly grin. "Or, perhaps since we're going to be on very familiar terms soon, I should call you Y/N."

"You should not. Is there somewhere we can speak in private?"

"We can speak on the jet," he snapped his fingers at his man. "Please collect Ms. Park's luggage."

The Chairman placed a hand to your lower back and guided you onto the jet. When inside, you took a seat across from each other, and he posed himself as if a business negotiation was about to happen, and he was ready to play the game with you. Little did he know that you didn't play games, you just won them.

"You only brought one bag I see. I like that you're not planning on wearing a lot of clothes this weekend."

"You could say that."

"Did you like the gifts I sent you?"

"I did. I already fucked someone else in them, though. He wants me to extend his thanks. I hope you don't mind."

He kept himself poised, but a vein throbbed in his jaw, giving him away and giving you a lot of satisfaction.

"What is it you want to discuss?"

"Well, I want to personally inform you that you and I will not be going for a long weekend in Hvar together."

"Cute, but we made a deal. Dongnam wouldn't be pleased if he had to refund 2 million dollars and fallout with one of his biggest investors because one of his own can't keep her promises."

"That would be true, except he won't be returning the money, and he's never going to find out you and I ever had a deal in the first place."

"I was warned you were cunning, Ms. Park. But I, like you, run a very tight ship," he leaned back in his seat, completely unbothered. "So, give me your best shot."

"Well, at first, the idea was to blackmail you. Something classic... like embezzling, or some sort of tax fraud - which to be honest you and I both know you do - but, as you say, you do run a tight ship, so getting all that before we left would have been difficult. I mean, I am Crimson Park, so I got it anyway, but you are a rich, connected man - something like that wouldn't be enough. You'd just suffer a PR crisis then bribe your way out of it. What I needed was to get you on the bad side of someone who values loyalty over money. someone like Dongnam. So instead, I developed this whole elaborate scheme that proves you built a subsidiary as a front for the Cheonan."

You handed him over a set of forged documents. "Well, Ms. Park, I'd say this is very creative, but I'm not so sure he's going to believe you. Especially when I have so much money that is going to get him to listen to reason."

"Well, I was afraid of that, but as I was crafting this work of fiction, I found out that you did actually used to be in bed with them," you handed him another set of papers and photos. He didn't have an arrogant retort this time - or a retort at all, and you knew he was starting to sweat. "And, the reason why you're no longer in business with them, was because you ratted them out to the police. Dongnam hates rats. He loves to poison them. Seriously, I can list the number of people he's poisoned."

"This is irrelevant," he tried to hide his mounting fear. "They betrayed me first. I just landed the final punch."

"I doubt Dongnam would see it that way. Especially because of my last and most favourite thing I found out about you. Last night, something fell into my hands that really was the nail in the coffin - you don't mind the metaphor, right?" you gave him a sarcastic grin. "Turns out there are some other people who want you gone."

You handed over the rest of the envelope, and he began sifting through the photos, while you watched shock and panic consume him. "If that wasn't enough for him to mistrust you, how do you think he's going to feel after he finds out that you've been fucking his wife?"

"If you tell him, I'll fucking take you down with me."

"Cute. The thing is, I do actually have his trust. Perhaps it's because I've never fucked his wife. And yeah, he might not be happy about all of this auction business, but if he ever finds out, I'll expose you and get away with it with a slap on the wrist. You won't even come out of this with your head."

"Cunt."

"You should have heeded all those warnings about me, and just let me pay you back." You leaned back in your seat, making yourself comfortable in the squishy, leather chair, resting your feet on the table in front of him, exposing the length and tone of your legs - giving him a preview of what he'd never be able to touch. "Consider the money you paid the fee for my silence."

"You won't get away with this."

"Watch me. By the way, I'm taking your jet for the day. I'm going to the coast for brunch and a little shopping. Please inform your pilot of the flight change and have someone escort my driver to the jet."

⁂

Jungkook stepped cautiously onto the jet, unsure about what he'd find.

"Y/N?" he called.

You were in the sleeping cabin, preparing to change into something more comfortable, but you abandoned that and strolled out to meet Jungkook in the seating area.

"Is everything all right?"

"Better than alright. The Chairman and I now have a new agreement. Plus, I've commandeered this jet for the day."

"How—" he began but was cut off as the captain entered the cabin and informed you he was ready for take off.

You took your seats and buckled in, Jungkook operating silently in a state of confusion and shock.

The jet pulled out of the hangar and turned down the runway. Soon you were in the air, and free to walk around and enjoy the jet's many accommodations, including the chocolate covered strawberries and expensive champagne debased by orange juice. Jungkook was a little quiet, still shook by the turn of events.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"You and I are going for brunch, and then shopping. They have fabulous stores there, and I'm going to teach you how to do Blue-on-Blue properly."

"Huh?"

"That's why I asked you to bring the SUV. We're gonna have a lot of bags to bring home."

"How did this happen?

"Turns out he set up a subsidiary as a front for Dongnam’s greatest rivals."

"Seriously?"

"No. I faked it. But these," you grab the photos and splashed them across the table, "would guarantee that Dongnam would believe me and not him."

"You were planning this for a while?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

You shrugged. "Since the beginning," you popped a strawberry into your mouth.

"Fuck, Y/N," he tossed the photos, stretched exasperatedly into his seat, and ran both his hands roughly through his hair. "I've been going crazy trying to keep it together. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

You were a little surprised that he wasn't elated.

"I didn't know if my sources would come through on time, or if my threat would even work."

"But why didn't you tell me?”

"Because if they didn't, I would be on this plane, with him, right now."

"But why didn't you tell me, Y/N?"

You paused and thought about the real answer, hoping it was what he wanted to hear. "Because if I failed, it would've been spectacular. I would be humiliated, jetting off to be more humiliated, and disappointing you after giving both of us false hope."

"Why can't you just let me in?" Apparently, it wasn’t the answer he was looking for, and you felt a frustrated defensiveness begin to bubble inside you. "I would have helped you."

"I didn't need your help."

"That's not the point. I know you can handle yourself. But I can handle myself too - so long as I'm not in the dark. I could have supported you if you had just told me. I would have followed you instead of feeling useless and hopeless.

You weren’t sure why, but the image of Mace and Zoya standing hand in hand in the park came to mind. He was going to follow her, even though they both knew it was dangerous.

"I keep plenty of secrets, Jungkook. Especially from you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you and I are just bedfellows. I'm not in this so I can bare my soul to you."

"You know you and I are more than that."

"No, we're not."

“What happened?”

"I already told you what happened."

"No, what happened between yesterday and today? What changed? Why are you being like this?"

You inhaled, filling your lungs, then took a few steps forward, pointing your index finger into the table in front of him, and looming over him to ensure he was hearing you. "You and I are just temporary. This won't go on forever," your statement was as serious as death. You then turned from him and walked back to the bar. "I don't need you getting attached."

"Well, I'm already attached."

"Then stop."

"No," he said with a thrash of petulance.

His defiance, his stubbornness, and his overall bumming out of the vibe really began to piss you off. You turned back to him, placing your hands on your hips, and shooting him a stern look. "Then I don't think we should sleep together anymore."

"I think otherwise," he was unrelenting, and it made you even more petty.

"Fine then, I don't want to sleep with you anymore."

"Psh.... yes, you do," he scoffed and laughed, completely calling you out.

You dug your tongue into your cheek, annoyed since you and him both knew he was right. "Well, tonight I don't," you retaliated.

"Well, that's fine, because Taesub is coming over - it would get awkward."

"What do you mean he is coming over?"

"His family is out of town again, and I was going to be depressed so we were going to get super drunk while I deflowered your kitchen."

"You mean he's coming over as in he's coming to my apartment?"

"Yes," he said matter-of-factly.

"You were just going to use my place when I was gone?"

"Yes."

You tilted your head at him, amazed he didn't care to hide it or even sweeten the blow. "Were you planning on taking over my bedroom too?"

"And your bathtub."

You scoffed, "You are insufferable."

He shrugged his shoulders, his aura bemused and no longer irritated. But then he softened, still having more to say about the serious stuff.

"Y/N, I don't want to play these games with you every time we get a little bit closer. I like you, you like me. We have great sex. You think I'm charming, and I think you're funny. Even if we are doomed, stop fucking worrying about it. Can you not just be here in the present and enjoy it while we have it?"

You chewed on your cheek, feeling the way he was peeling back your shell.

"You are not that charming," the last of your resolve fought back.

"See, you are funny," he raised a smug lopsided smile for you. "Look, neither of us are going anywhere for a while, and I don't need you worrying about me, or the decisions I might make for myself, or if I get attached... I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself. If I pulled this shit on you, you'd throw me out your window - you know you would."

You rolled your eyes but huffed out a "You're right."

"And I won't talk about feelings anymore if it makes you crazy, I won't even make you call me your boyfriend, even though obviously I am. But can you just try to go with the flow? And just let me in sometimes? At least the big stuff? Like, hey, your girlfriend found a way to get out of fornicating with some creep with a bunch of money. That would be something I think you could share with me."

You shuffled your shoulders, now a little annoyed he had gotten to you so easily. But you knew you wanted him to wear you down.

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"Sure thing," he mocked.

You looked to the ceiling, relaxing your mood and deciding to move on from this conversation.

"What are we making tonight?" you asked, a slight faux reluctance to your question.

"You're going to help?"

"Of course, it's my kitchen."

"But you never use it."

"That's because I can afford not to," it was your turn to be cocky.

What can you make?"

"Hot dogs and Kraft dinner. Sometimes cereal."

He looked at you sideways, unsure if you were joking. you were, but you liked watching him sweat - and, well, he liked that you're funny. "How about you just focus on the cocktails."

You sniffed a chuckle. "I make a really good creamy kimchi pasta and jalapeno popper chicken."

"Well, fuck, that sounds delicious - but Taesub already texted that he got groceries. But you are welcome to make that for me anytime."

"Only if you put your sour puss away and start appreciating all of this," you raised your hands and motioned to the luxury inside the jet. "Cuz, I won't accept you criticizing how emotionally stunted I am after I slaved away in the kitchen cooking for you."

Jungkook grabbed a mimosa and shot half of it down in one gulp, then inspected the flute as he judged the flavour.

"I do appreciate it."

"Good, because we probably have another forty minutes to go before we land - how do you feel about joining the Mile High club?"

"What makes you think I haven't already joined?"

"Excuse me?!"

He had a mischievous smile on his lips as he took another gulp. "I thought you didn't want to sleep with me?"

"I said tonight I didn't want to sleep with you. Right now, it's still morning. But I'm starting to change my mind about sleeping with you at all." He continued grinning, and you swiftly crossed the jet to him, grabbing a hold of his tie and yanking his face towards yours. "Have you ever fucked someone on a plane?" your question was a threat.

"Got an incomplete hand job on a carnival ride that looked like an aeroplane. Once. But I've fantasised about it a lot. Does that count?"

You snorted at the pathetic image, but it still made you jealous - at least you could one up the bitch.

"No. Now let's go."

"I'm not just a piece of meat you know," he feigned offence, although his pants were already tightening at the idea. But you played along.

You let out an exaggerated sigh as you unzipped the back of your dress., "All right, well..." You then pulled the dress off your shoulders, stepping out of it and tossing it onto the table in front of Jungkook. You then strutted past him in your slip, bra and heels, seemingly on your way to your suitcase in the sleep cabin to change. "Just know I can't promise we'll have access to a private jet anytime in the future."

"Point taken," he conceded, following quickly behind you. "Can we do it in the bathroom and pretend this is a commercial plane full of people?"

"We still have the whole flight home, Jungkook, just get the fuck in here."

"Yes, ma'am."

Go to Chapter 16.

#jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook smut #bts crime au #jungkook x reader

[igotlostinthesewers]

Some Type of Drug

Chapter Three: You came? You called.

Pairing: Leonardo x Reader

Reader Type: Gender Neutral

Song: In my time of dying- Led Zepplin

Warnings: Fighting. Blood. Cursing.

An: I hope this is good lol. Let me know what yall think!

Word Count: 3273

"I'm not to far gone to be healed, am I? I'm not too gone am I?"

-Alice Notley, from In The Pines: Poems; "In The Pines,"

You see him more often than you thought you would after that day. Catching glimpses of Leonardo on building tops. Curling around corners and blending into the shadows. Always watching over you when he was given a chance. Ever since that night Foot soldiers were far more frequently spotted and he wanted to ensure it was not because of you.

Leonardo always gives you a head up when he follows you. Something as simple as a pitched whistle. That weird grumble not growl he'd make sometimes. But always he would watch over you as you made your walk back home. Making the nightime routine a part of his patrol. And ever since that night you made sure to carry both mace and a taser. 

After work Leonardo makes time to talk to you.  Sometimes he would in the morning. Slink in before the morning sun has truly risen. But it was easier at night. Far less of a chance of him being spotted.

The two of you weren't quite friends yet. Both your hearts to calloused, to walled, to really allow you to open up. But the kinship the two of you held was greater than just acquaintances.  You allowed the guy to raid your fridge when you were not there for goodness sakes. 

Leonardo left you little things to find when you would come home. Sometimes it was change to pay for what he took. Other times it was small charms he thought you might like. Once it was a plate of cookies from his brother Mikey.

He had yet to let you meet his family in the month the two of you had gotten to know each other. You were certain that the reason why he stuck around for so long was to keep an eye on you. To both ensure his secret, and his family, were safe. But also to keep the Foot from finding you.

That changed with the last gift though. Some shift in the air when you came back home to see a goldstone bracelet sitting on your kitchen counter. It was all sparkling and blue when you had picked it up. It was then you realized just how observant he really was. 

You had made nothing more than an off hand mention about how your last one broke. The small beads never to be found again when they slide under the oven. You had told Leo about it when you were making dinner. Filling in the silence of your apartment. 

It had been such an insignificant thing to you.

But he had remembered. And it left you wondering just what you  were to each other.

Leonardo learned about your home town as you grew more comfortable with his presence. Telling him about your family, your childhood friend. You told him of your long trip here. How you drove because you were scared to ride in a plane. And you told him how lucas had been your only support. The only one who had encouraged you to go. And how he was the only one who would still talk to you.

What you did not tell him was about the heartbreak. The screaming and yelling. The begging. The very things that left you so guarded.

In the same way Leo told you about his family. The shenanigans that Mikey would pull. His ever loving heart. Donatello's bad late night habits but also of his brilliance. Sometimes he would complain about Raphael's bullheadedness but in the very same breath praise his bravery. His heart.

He spoke of his father. His sensei. His teacher in most things. But he spoke little else of Splinter. And you did not push the subject.

In a way you began to think you became a place he did not have before. A place to be. To vent. A place to lay down his worries without having a person with prior knowledge to judge him. You were a place to listen as he was for you.

.

.

"You would not believe the audacity this guy had!" Were the first words out of your mouth. Leonardo had barely pulled himself from your window when you spoke.

"Long day?" He asked. He bent to give Zeki a soft pet on his grey head before turning back to you.

"Blue, You don't even know the half of it." You have him a look while shedding your jacket. Tossing the rain soaked thing into a basket near you door.

"You want to tell me so I know all of it?" He laughed out.

"Abso-fuckin-lutley" Off came your shoes. Briefly you stepped into your room to change.

When you stepped back out Leo was sitting on one of your stools. Smelling at one of your perfume oils that you left there this morning. That particular one seemed to be a favorite of his and you've contemplated buying one for him.

Do. Do mutated turtles wear perfume? Cologne?

"So, you know Karens right?" Leo looked up. Capping the little vial.

"Those are the ones who are entitled. Right? The me-me?" Clearly one of his brothers needed to brush him up on his memes. Leo pulled at your small sketchnook. Looking over small doodles that you had made that mornings.

"Meme's. But ya. I don't know what the male version of that is." You began taking your rings off at the counter. "Probably Kevin."

You reacount just how much of the jerk the guy had been as you made dinner. Seasoning steaks and peeling potatoes.

"I tried so many god damned times to make his coffee right. It was either to hot or two cold or not enough nutmeg. By the time I was ready to call it quits and kick the guy out, Miss. Helen came up. She grabbed the coffee I had just made and tossed it in the mans face before telling him to get out in such away it would make Lucifer himself blush." Leo laughed as you tossed your hands up in the air.

"This Miss. Helen sounds like quite the woman." Standing Leo went to your cabinets. Pulling out cups and plates to place on the counter as you finished up cooking.

You were quick to plate the food. Rare steaks, garlicy and buttery mashed potatoes, and green beans with bacon. You were filling up your cups when you caught Leo's eye. He was watching you intently. He did that a lot. Observing the little things you to. Catching small quirks you didn't know you had. But this time. It felt different. A little more intimate.

"What?" You ask. Wiping away at you cheek incase you had gotten something on it. 

Leo pulls in a breath of air. As if he just now realized that he indeed needed to breathe."Nothing I." He pauses. Swallows. "Sorry."

"Don't be. Eat." You motined to his plate. "Did Michelangelo ever get that move down?" At this leo's eyes softened. Pride at his younger brother pulling him upwards.

.

.

Dishes were done together. You washing and Leo drying. Something about it was so. Domestic. It was comforting at times. You having missed this since. Well since your family fell apart. But at times it left your mind to wander. At what kind of friendship you and Leo had.  

When you insisted on doing it yourself, to stubborn to let others help. Leo had somehow fangled his way into at least drying. Everything in him just as stubborn to not let you do all the work yourself.

Leo was drying the last dish when his phone chimed. You watched as the large terrapin wove around you. His arm brushing against yours in the small space as he flicked he screen on.

"Sorry. I have to go." You could feel the small fall in your heart when he said this. You were always a little sad to see him go. Leo filled up an empty space you weren't aware you had until he was gone. It often left you scrambling to fill that space when he left. 

"It's alright Leo. Really." You bump his bicep with the back of your hand. "Family is important. I get it." Leonardo only nodded. Pocketing his phone.  

As normal Leo turned to leave. Pulling back the curtains to reveal a cloudless, star filled sky. Not as normal. Leo paused in the open window. Jaw clenching and unclenching  as he thought.

"You good Leo?" A bit of concern at his current behavior. He said nothing. Sliding back in to your home and grabbing the pen and paper off your coffee table.

"Can you meet me hear at this place and time?" He handed you the paper. His words were curled and flowy. Almost pretty in a way.

"Ya. Ya I can." You recognized the place. Just outside a pizza diner you liked to go to. A sly smile spread on your face as you looked back up at him. "You askin' me out on a date Boy Blue?" You laughed when he made a choking sound.

"I. No." He held his hands up. "Not that I wouldn't like to. I mean." He popped his knuckles and cleared his throat. "I want you to meet my family. It's safest to bring you there from that place." Those blue eyes finally landed back on you. Studied you for even the smallest of reaction. And you smiled. Warmth filled you.

"Ya. I'd like that." You spoke it to the ground. Then him. At that Leo smiled. 

"I'll see you later then." He told you. Waving before he slinked out the window, up the fire escape, and into the night filled city.

.

 Leo's heart was pounding. His normally steady hands shaking. Who knew that such a simple question  would have him so nervous. Well he knew why deep down. He was afraid to show you the one thing he truly cared about. It had taken him a week  just to ask. He brothers, and even Splinter at one point, asking when they were going to meet you.

Honestly he was a little excited to tell the others that you would be coming over soon.

.

He could hear his brothers before he saw them. There was Mikey's music. Something frying in a pan. Don was rattling something off about the latest planetary discovery and he could hear the soft. Plink Pling. Of Raph's knitting needles.

Mikey must have spotted him coming up the stairs into the kitchen space because he heard. "Bro! You're back! Finally." Leo was quick to catch a can of grape soda thrown at him.

"Took ya long enough fearless." Raph hardly spares him a glance. "Ya forget about movie night?" Leo took a seat across from him. Leaning back into his chair he popped the tab on his soda.

"No. Just got caught up is all." Raph's hands stilled and his brothers hazel eyes all but bored into him. His scarred lips pulled into a smirk. Then he scoff. Letting the dark blue knit fall to the table.

"You've gotta mile wide grin Leo." With the words out Mikey and Don stopped in what they were doing. Pausing to watch their two eldest brothers. "Spill."

Leo nodded his head. Looked to the table and if he could, smiled even brighter. "They're coming over." Their cheering was loud enough for Splinter to come out of his room and rising up the stairs to see what had his sons so excited.

"Finally! God you wouldn't shut up about them." Raph had thrown his head back. Leo furrowed his brow.

"I don't talk about them that much." Leo muttered. Looking to Splinter as if his father would agree.

"Every third sentence you speak is about them." Donnie spoke up. Leo through him a look. Then sighed when Splinter chuckled. 

With his gaze now fixed on the ceiling Leo asked. "What movie are we watching tonight." He was wanting to change the subject. Really. He didn't talk about them that much. Did he?

"The Hobbit." And when Leo looked at Raph he added. "It's Donnies turn to pick." He shrugged then began to help set up the living room for the movie.

.

Popcorn flew over his head. "Donnie If I have ta tell ya to keep your feet on your side one more time!" The ending credits of Desolation of Smaug rolled across the screen.

"One more time what Raph?" Donnies foot darts out to hit Raphs thigh for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Oh that's it!" And just like that. Leo lost his popcorn.

"Knock it off you two." Leo rose. Standing up to break up his brothers roughhousing when he felt, and heard, his phone ring. When he pulled out your name and number was on the screen. He was quick to answer.

"Leonardo?" Your voice was quiet. 

"Y/n? Are you ok?" From the corner of his eye he could see Raph slap a hand over Mikey's mouth. His other arm headlocking Donnie.

"Fuck." Your breath shook. "Leo? Shit. They're here. They've." His blood ran cold when he heard your scream. Then glass shattering.

You must of dropped the phone. He could hear it thud against the floor. Your voice fainter now as you yelled.

"Fucking let me go!" The buzzing sound of a taser then. "You sick bitch!" Then nothing as the phone cut off.

"Everything ok Leo?" Donnie asked. Pulling his head out from Raph's arm.

"Ya bro. Everything good? You've gone all. Serious face on us." Mikey finally pulled the hand away.

"They're in trouble."

.

You didn't know when they came in. How they broke in. When Leo left the apartment had been to quiet. So you put on your playlist and letting it go on shuffle as you swepts the living room. You had done little else  but clean. Humming along to Led Zeppelin as you did so.

Your first clue had been Zeki and his bell. The small jingle barely audible over your music. The second had been your own instincts. Some animal part of your brain not yet gone picking up what you could not see.

Until the light in your window shifted.

Your heart rate picked  up. Your hair at the nape of your neck stood on end. Every part of your body ran cold.

If you had not moved. Oh god if you had not moved. The smallest shift of your bare feet against the cold wooden floor. The drop of your shoulder

You felt it. Feather light touch against your cheek. The quick hum of broken air.

Then your flower vase shattered. Glass glistening in the dim light of your home.

There was pain. Bright white pain when your knees hit the floor. You were quick to turn. Get up.

You went left at their right.

There was nothing but you, them, and the voice of Robert  Plant.

"Meet me, Jesus, meet me"

You were quick. Heavy hitting. Grabbing. Pulling. Breaking anything your could grab.

Glass shattered. At some point you had the wooded leg of your coffee table in hand.

Two. There was two of them. 

You tasted blood. Smelled it. Minging with vanilla and dragons blood.

"Oh saint peter at the gates of heaven won't you let me in?

 I never did no harm,

I never did no wrong."

The glass of their goggles broke when you brought down the wooden leg. Their scream was loud. Piercing.

Silenced with the next hit.

Your body was both fired and calm. Cool water swam in your thoughts. Always focused. Always steady. One wrong move. Oh one wrong move.

"And I see them in the streets

 And I see them in the field

 And I hear them at my feet 

 And I know it's got to be real."

The last one didn't get the chance to fully fight.

Blind rage. A hot, deafening desire. Ran through your body. Controlled you. They got you good. Seeing stars. Hearing bells.

They to though. Grew cold.

.

Your phone was next to your overturned couch. Thankfully unbroken as you flicked the lock screen open.

Contacts.

Scrolled down.

:Blue Raspberry:

Hit dial.

You could hear talking. Laughing. "Leonardo?" It was hard to speak. Voice quiet.

"Y/n? Are you ok?" Nothing but genuine concern. And oh you wanted nothing more than his help in this moment.

"Fuck." Your voice shook. Hearing rather that seeing the breaking of your windows. "Leo? Shit. They're here." And God your knees wanted to give out. "They're here. They've." And you screamed. Fear took you. Blinded you.

No longer were you in control.

One from the window. Another at your door.

The one at the door grabbed you. 

"Fucking let me go!" Shrill. High. There. Your taser. "You sick bitch!" 

"Im gon' to make it my dying 

dying 

dying"

.

.

It felt like a moment and they were there. The window he's crawled in and out of at least a hundred times by now was shattered.

They could all hear your desperate breathing. Smell the fear rolling off of you.

And music. Music was playing.

Raph had been the first to step in. Sais in hand as he crossed the threshold of the window.

Then resounding hit that rattled Raph's teeth.

"Fukin' Shit!" Raph.

The music called out. "Sweet little baby I don't know where you've been."

Your broken sob is what had him moving. All but throwing himself through that window.

Your home was a mess. The smell of blood, death, and fear a pungent mixture in the air.

"Oh God." Donatello. Leonardo had to agree. In the middle of it all stood you. Bloodied, bruised, clothes torn. Blood spilling thickly from your nose. Your open mouth. Your right eye was puffy. Swollen to the point of almost closing.

There was a pan in your hand. Your gripped it so tightly he could almost hear your fingers creak in protest. That must have been the thing you had hit Raph with.

"Leo?" The pan fell from your hand. Landed near your bare feet. "Leo?" He was quick to move. Catching you by the shoulders before your knees could hit the floor.

"I've got you. I've got you. You'll be ok." You gaze was distant. Your grip close to painfull on his forearms.

"They. My home." Donatello was slow to approach you. "Those bastards broke into my home." You voice was venomous. Lips bared over bloodied teeth. "Tried to hurt me. Tried to." Then the reality of it all hit you. "I. Oh God." A broken breath in.

"It was either you or them. Be glad it was them." Your head snapped to Raph. A whimper. Then sharply turned to Donatello when his hand rested on your shoulder.

You couldn't hear him. Could only watch as his lips moved. You were shaking. Cold but not. Breathing. Were you breathing?

"They're in shock." Donnies fingers rested at your clammy cheek. "Leo we need to get them to a hospital." Donatello could see a number of injuries. Smell a weird mixture of rain and blood on them.

"We can't do that. How would they explain any of this." Leonardo gathered you in his arms. "We take them to the lair. You can help them." Donatello looked around your home. To the people lying on your floors. 

Foot Soldiers.

"The Foot would just come for them there." Leonardo finished.

"Zeki. Where's Zeki?" You slurred out. Pushing against Leo's chest to go find him.

"Whose Zeki?" Raph asked. Kicking a rag dolled Foot off a broken table with a low whistle. His chin and cheek were dark.

"Their cat. Zeki's probably-" Leo was cut off when Mikey came out of your room. Cat in hand. The poor thing was terrified. Yowling. Meowing. Calling out for you.

"Whose this?" Leo shifted his grip on you. Offered a comforting pet to the cat.

"Zeki. He's their pet." The cat settled a bit at seeing a familiar face. "Y/n should have a carrier around here. Find it then bring Zeki back to the Lair."

.

You stirred in his arms when cook air brushed against your battered body. Your eyes fall on the bottom of a green chin. This close you could catch the faintest hint of sandalwood and leather. "Leo?" Then blue. You were swimming in blue.

#tmnt #leonardo x reader #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt x reader

[buppypuppy]

I may be asking an obvious question if your url is anything to go by, but

Your favorite Gundam and why?

Well technically Beguir-Beu isn't actually a Gundam it's just a normal mobile suit, if anything it's an anti-gundam considering the big tie line balls on its wings deploy antidote neutralizing the link to the GUND format BUT that's semantics. It's my favorite mobile suit because I just love how like... Insect-y it feels, I love how most mobile suits are like. They have their quirks to them but still retain a look of humanoid-ness to them. Whereas, with Beguir-Beu, the head is reminiscent of a mantis, the back rig opening and closing feels like elytra, and the big blade weapons also feel like mantis claws too. Also the color scheme is gorgeous.

To answer the question of what my favorite Gundam is Gundam Barbatos from Iron-Blooded Orphans :+) I'm not done with it yet, but IBO is definitely my favorite Gundam series because of just how gritty it is. And usually the whole thing of "oh, it's a gritty reboot, it's so edgy" is done horribly, but IBO does it in a way that works so flawlessly. The lore point of beam weaponry being outlawed as a reason that melee weapons are more solid and weighty and all of the firearms being ballistic is So fun. Everything just feels so utilitarian and I adore it, it gives a real "fortunate son" type of vibe. I love how Tekkadan is such a ragtag group and various elements enforce how bonded everyone is with each other, and also that it intentionally reminds you that most, if not all of the members, are kids.

But about Barbatos, I just love how like. Intense it feels. Melee weapons in Gundam are by no means uncommon, considering most Gundams come with beam sabers, but the fact that it's purely metal is so delightful. The weightiness of its mace is so fun, the hydraulic action with the spike in the center that gets displayed in the third episode is so fun, it just feels so brutal. Plus the point of Barbatos itself having some level of sentience is So much fun! I love Gundam as a whole thing dearly but oooh I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish the mobile suits were sentient, it's why I'm so fond of IBO and G-Witch. The moment in IBO where Mikazuki is talking about his aspiration of finding somewhere peaceful, and asks Barbatos if it wants to see that too, and its eyes light up in response made me nearly start crying when I saw it. It was incredible.

Also, I think the design of its chevrons is super fun but fucking hell is it hard to draw.

#Thank you for the anon I liked being able to infodump a bit :+) #Mona Lisa‚ Mother Earth #See No More

[kitewithfish]

Wednesday Reading Meme for 10-26-22

What I've Read - Omega Required - Dessa Lux (aka, fanfic writer Dira Sudis) - Werewolf Omegaverse m/m arranged marriage romance novel- I bought this in 2018, read 25% of it and then never picked it up again, because I am a fool. I finished it this week and I found the main couple really quite charming.  Beau wants to be a werewolf doctor to humans, Rory ran away from home at 16 with an older man who promised to take good care of him and has some major trauma around sex. It's careful to show Rory's recovery, tho it's a romance novel so he's improving on a pretty brisk pace. Beau is used taking care of only himself and not asking for help so he makes some fairly stupid (but very in-character!) mistakes around his new job. The resolution is sweet and generally hits the points that think a thoughtful romance ought to. I am probably going to read other things Dira has written - this series has a couple of other books, and this is hitting a self-indulgent spot for me. Good world building around how werewolves would function in the open in the modern world.

Wife to the Marines: A Military Reverse Harem Romance by Krista Wolf (reverse harem het romance, straight woman with three straight men) - Well, this book had some great elements? The sex was fun, the character dynamics were a bit spare (perfectly fine for this genre) but what was there felt engaging, the plot was brisk and both acknowledged the silly elements but made them feel emotionally true to the female lead's internal life. I finished it and at the low price of $1, I feel like I got my money's worth. I have definitely paid more for worse. 

But, oh man, I am too queer for this book. I am just too dang queer for this book. I literally picked this up because I was curious about the reverse harem romance sub-genre (aka, straight woman with multiple male partners, yay!) and wow, this is just - like, do gay people exist in this world? Do ace people? Polyamory is briefly mentioned but not actually engaged with at all, so functionally, nah. Because I just cannot imagine a world where queer people exist and these men are making the life choices they are making about committed relationships to other men, and having sex with the same woman in a committed relationship, and then like, just not talking about the fact that you are in a queer poly relationship. It's just, like, the most hetero and monogamous take possible on a very queer, very poly relationship. It's almost as if it's a het romance where the dude just happens to have three bodies? It's so fucking weird to see a book go so far out of its way to frame this as hetero brothers-in-arms who love each other? Like, the intense military friendship that is actually a romance in disguise is literally a gay cliche - this one is ours, straight people. 

Also, massive trigger warnings for eating disorders shit (the woman is a trainer and runs a youtube channel where she makes "health food" recipes, constantly breaks food into good or bad categories, calorie counting, talks in detail about the weight loss plans of her clients, none of it needed) and also, uh, military kink?  using the American invasion of Afghanistan as a neutral-to-justified backdrop for a personal vendetta? (Dudes, is it gay to avenge the death of your boyfriend's brother under the cover of a legitimate Marine mission while you lie to him and keep him out of the loop, safe at home with your other shared boyfriend and girlfriend?) This was a compellingly written novel full of sympathetic depictions of people who I would not ever want to have a drink with!

What I'm Reading

A Taste of Gold and Iron - Alexandra Rowland - A re-read for my book club. So sweet, so queer, so fun. Deeply good worldbuilding.

Thrawn: Treason - Timothy Zahn - Getting fun and brisk with this one! 55% in.  Hunting Towards Heartstill - Blackkat - Star Wars Clone Wars Cartoon au - marriage of convenience, fake marriage, Mace Windu/Cody - Slowing down because we're crash landed on an abandoned Sith planet and I'm watching Mace be annoyed at Anakin and, well, he's very annoying! I'm going to try and buckle down and get some more under my belt so that I can actually just get past this part. I got stuck here last time too.

Stay With Me, Go Places - cac0daemonia-  https://archiveofourown.org/works/39540420 - "After months of living a quiet, peaceful life on Ryloth, Waxer and Boil must don their armor again. What begins as a rescue operation in conjunction with a bounty hunter becomes a journey that the Force itself seems to have a hand in." - I am really enjoying this ongoing series, the Reconstruction Corps AU, which posits that a fairly minor change in the Clone Wars plot around the clones control chips allowed the Jedi to stop Darth Sideous and save the galaxy and allow clones like Waxer and Boil to retire to little backwaters and build themselves a community. 

What I'll Read Next

2312 - Kim Stanley Robinson - Book club pick, long one, too! Bought it since we're probably splitting it up over six weeks Library books: Our Wives Under the Sea - Julia Armfield Maul: Lockdown - Joe Schreiber  The Whale Rider -Witi Ihimaera  Tiger's Daughter - K Arsenault Rivera  Riot Baby - Rochi Onyeuchi The Silence of the Wilting Skin - Tlotlo Tsamaase  An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon

Libby:  Truth of the Divine - Lindsay Ellis Devil House - John Darnelle   

#reading meme #dira sudis writes good books #clones wars fanfic #star wars #alexandra rowland writes good books

[cobaltbeam]

Mace survives and he is Pissed

#if anyone is mean to him i will fight #slightly inspired by fracture by blackkat oops #hi kat i love you #and you made me go from neutral about mace to #so yea #♡♡♡♡♡ #my drawings #fanart #star wars #star wars fanart #digital drawing #the clone wars #tcw #tcw fanart

[gffa]

Hi!  I don’t think this sounded like you were picking a fight, believe me, it’s a lot more obvious when someone’s trying to pick a fight, don’t worry about it. 😂  I’ve thought about this, too, and imo I think the answer would be: Do what you’re going to do, but be honest about it, your level of investment in it, your willingness to keep working on your path, and accept the consequences. That’s basically what Obi-Wan did with Satine when she personally asked for him on Mandalore in TCW, but the Jedi were like, “The Senate is never going to let us legally go there to help, because she chose to keep Mandalore neutral.” and I think Yoda absolutely kind of knew Obi-Wan was going to go anyway. Yet we see no terrible punishment from the Jedi to Obi-Wan about his decision. I think the difference is that Obi-Wan seems willing to accept whatever the consequences of his choices will be, that he understands he cannot hold prioritizing Satine in his heart on the same level as his commitment to the Jedi Order, and that he has genuinely made his choice between the two.  He doesn’t break Jedi ideals in his reactions to what happens on Mandalore, he doesn’t murder a bunch of people after his loss, and I would assume he’s willing to sit down with Yoda and honestly discuss where his priorities are. With Anakin, I don’t think the problem is precisely that he went to help his mother, in the way he did, because he found a way to not shirk his duty to protect the senator from Naboo.  That would have been the problem with going after her instead of helping Obi-Wan fight Dooku, that he would have been endangering people’s lives beyond himself, that willingness to throw away a duty that you are needed for, right that very moment, to go after someone because you were afraid to live without them, was the problem. Because that’s a lot of what Obi-Wan is getting after him for in all of AOTC and it’s a recurring theme with Anakin here--that he’s willing to overstep his mandate, throw his mandate away, to not even honestly speak about his feelings without changing the subject the second he hears something he doesn’t like when Obi-Wan asks him about his dreams.  He’s willing to mouth off to his Master because he wants to impress Padme, not because he has a clear-headed eye on the situation.  He’s ready to rip Zam Wessel apart because she’s a threat to Padme, not because he believes that that level of force is the only way to stop her.  He’s willing to ditch Padme on Naboo because he fears his mother is in danger.  He’s willing to let Obi-Wan face Dooku alone, something that would probably get Obi-Wan killed, because Padme fell out of the ship.  These things do not exist independently of each other, they’re part of the bigger arc of Anakin’s unwillingness to be committed to his desire to be a Jedi. Yet, in contrast, I don’t think we see Anakin getting any real punishment for going to Tatooine from the Jedi?  They don’t know about the Tusken slaughter, of course, but they know he went there while he was meant to be protecting Padme (to be fair, Padme’s own willingness to go, “Well, I’m going, so I guess you’ll just have to follow me.” does make things more complicated), yet it’s not like they kick him out or refuse to let him become a Knight or anything. Which says to me that I think, had Anakin not slaughtered the Tuskens in his grief, the Jedi would have been like, well, okay, you need to sit down with Yoda and really assess yourself and what you want and are you willing to accept that you might get Library Duty for this for awhile or be taken off some important missions while you Have An Important Think About It, but that they would have accepted that. I think a lot about that Mace Windu comic, where Prosset Dibs falls to the dark side, tries to murder Mace, and actively taunts the Jedi Council into trying to kill him, and their reaction is: We need to help him, because he’s going down a bad path, it’s our duty to help bring him back to the light. When they can and when they think there’s a chance to genuinely help and they’re not risking other people’s lives, the Jedi want to give out second chances and work with people. If Anakin had been willing to work with them, be honest about his attachments (the desire to hold onto someone because you were afraid to live without them, the willingness to sacrifice a thousand to save the one that you wanted to keep, for your own reasons), I think everything he did (aside from the Tusken murders) would have been acceptable.  Especially if he genuinely believed that he was following the will of the Force and not using that as an excuse to just do what he wants (which I think there’s a fair amount of truth that he genuinely believed that even before he got to Tatooine and his visions were correct). That he genuinely thought about his visions and didn’t immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion, but he made an honest effort to sort out his own anxieties versus what the Force was telling him--like, for example, in The Clone Wars, when Ahsoka is on the run, they initially don’t want Anakin to go after her, because he’s potentially emotionally compromised.  But he shows that he’s willing to call the guards on her, so they understand that, yes, he’s thought about his own investment here and is willing to work to be objective, so they accept him being the one to go find her.  He thought about his own feelings versus what the situation really was and worked to be clear-headed.  Or the way Ahsoka has visions about Aurra Sing and works to separate her own feelings from what the Force is telling her, she talks to Yoda about it and works to be clear-headed about it, so she’s given more room for it. Ultimately, I don’t think there are specific Jedi Ideals Written In Stone about these things, I think they have a general code of conduct and a set of laws that they are subject to like anyone else in the galaxy living under the Senate’s jurisdiction, and so it comes down to a case by case basis and what the person is willing to do to be as clear-headed as they can be about it.  If you can be honest and you genuinely think this is the right thing to do as a Jedi, if you’re doing it for selfless reasons rather than because you’re acting out of fear, if you’re willing to accept whatever consequences might happen because of it, I think you’ll be fine.

#anakin skywalker #jedi order #meta

[petboymart]

grizzly bear asahi NSFW

tw/cw: afab reader, gender neutral pronouns, so much plot, dry humping, praise, slight blood and scratching (from his claws), oral (reader receiving), unprotected sex, use of “little one”, rough sex, cock warming

a/n: WOW LOOK AT ME ACTUALLY PRODUCING CONTENT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE. anyway, enjoy <3 there’s so much plot tho. -eden<3

it all started a few weeks ago. you had just moved into a small, but cozy, cabin in the forest in an attempt to find yourself. the city life was slowly chipping away at your mental health and you knew that if you didn’t give yourself a breather you would lose your mind. so, you packed up all your stuff and came out here.

thankfully, you had found a job that could work remotely and on the schedule that you chose, so working wasn’t an issue. the realtor who sold you the place said that the last owner had unfortunately passed away, not in the house thank god, and their family just wanted to be rid of it. you were a tad suspicious as to why, but the realtor assured you that it was simply because they’re not outdoorsy. you still bought mace and a taser to put your mind at ease.

when you moved in, you were taken aback by how beautiful the surrounding forest was. there was about 35 feet of cleared area surrounding your cabin, but the forest border was lined with beautiful wildflowers. the forest itself was lush and green, the occasional coo of a bird reaching your ears. and because of the clearing, you had a beautiful window to the sky that you’re sure will be full of stars at night. there were planting boxes that you inherited from the previous owner, as well as some basic gardening equipment that you fully intended to use. the nearest store was over 12 miles away, so you planned on growing your own food if you could.

the inside of the house is modest, but more than enough for you. it has two bedrooms and a bathroom downstairs, as well as a full kitchen with a breakfast nook built in to enjoy meals, and a small living area. upstairs there is one more bathroom and a large open space that you planned to use as an office and a studio for your hobbies.

you unpacked what was necessary to make dinner and shower, and planned to unpack the rest in the coming week. you ate dinner at your small dining table, and silently thanked the moving company that had already brought your large furniture. you took a quick shower before jumping into bed, exhausted from your day.

<3

in the coming days you followed through with your plans of unpacking. you also began your garden, and set up your office/studio on the upper level. it wasn’t until you had been there for exactly a week that you saw it. you had been on your porch stargazing, your prediction about the clearing was correct, when you heard a the crunch and crack of walking on dead leaves and twigs being broken to your left. your head snapped in that direction and you made eye contact with the biggest grizzly bear you had ever seen. okay, it was the first grizzly bear you had ever seen, but shit that thing was huge!

it took the bear made a move as if it was going to come closer, slightly lifting its head to sniff in your direction, for you to snap back to reality. you shot up from your chair and darted inside, locking all three of the locks on the door before peaking out of the window to see if it was still there, the lamp lights you had lining the forest line allowing you to see. the sight you were met with made your heart ache a little in your chest. the bear had backed up a tad, clearly startled by your outburst, and was glancing from where you had been to the door you just slammed shut with a sad look on its face, before trudging off into the forest.

something g about the sight made you forget how dangerous bears are, and you were suddenly overcome with the urge to comfort the poor thing. however, it was late and you wanted to get an early start tomorrow, so you simply headed off to bed, silently wishing the bear the best.

the next day you went about your routine feeling as if someone was watching you, but it wasn’t unpleasant. it felt like someone was looking after you, making sure you were safe. it was comforting in a strange way.

that night you were out stargazing again, secretly hoping to see the same bear from before. it wasn’t until a few hours in that you saw movement out of the corner of your eye. you turn you head, only slightly as to not scare it, and see a grizzly bear peaking its head around a large pine tree. and while you can’t be sure if it’s the same one from before, you can’t help the giggle you let out at the bear trying so hard to hide, yet not realizing it is much to big to fit its whole body behind the skinny tree trunk. the bear flinches back a little at the noise, but quickly recovers and begins to move closer to the forest line. you still pretend to not see it, knowing that you’re close enough to the door to make it in safe if it does decide to do anything.

once it gets about a foot from the forest line, the bear tries its best to quietly lay down in a loaf shape, almost the way a cat would, seemingly trying to make itself as small as possible. it makes quite a lot of noise as it does this, but you still pretend to be unaware.

after the bear settles down, it simply watches you. it’s big brown eyes just gazing at you as you gaze at the stars. it’s so cute, you think to yourself, as it presses its ears pack and rests its head on the floor every time you move your head, doing its best not to be seen. eventually, you have to head inside. you feel a bit sad to leave the bear, but your tired from your work today and need the rest. the bear once again tries to shrink itself when you stand, but remains in place as you gather up your blanket, phone, and mug before heading inside.

<3

it continues like this for about two more weeks. you do your daily work, eat dinner, then head outside to stargaze and are joined by your bear friend. however, you have began to greet him with a simple, “hello”, in a soft tone as to not scare it away. the first time you did it, it ran and hid behind the nearest tree, and slowly inched its way back over the course of the night after realizing that you were not going to harm it or run away.

today, you planned of having a picnic out on the lawn. it was cool enough, and it was a beautiful day. quite a few of your plants have started to ripen, and your exited to try your harvest. plus, after all the hard work you’ve been putting into making this place feel like home these past few weeks, you deserve a relaxing picnic!

you set up your blanket and basket right along the forest line, planning on making a flower crown and bouquet for your table from the pretty while flowers that grow there while you happily munch away. you had packed some finger sandwiches, water, lots of fruit, and some honey to dip them it.

you had just finished your first flower crown when you heard a twig snap somewhere in front of you. this was something you were used to, but it still caught your attention. you were planning on simply glancing at what made the noise, but dropped your grape upon seeing a very large man. you froze, he froze, and you both stared at each other while trying to figure out what to do. it was during this period that you noticed the fluffy, round, brown ears on his head. upon realizing that he was bear hybrid, you felt a little more calm, but still shaken due to the almost completely naked man who was towering over you with biceps bigger than your head. you were calmed even more by the way he seemed to be, how do i put this, fucking panicking? his eyes were darting everywhere but at you, he was playing with his fingers, curling into himself, and shifting his weight ever few seconds.

as you open your mouth to say something he cuts you off with a ramble of, “i-i sorry. it s-sm-mells go-od and i-mm hungry.”

every word had some kind of stutter or stretch and he almost looked like he was shaking. your heart aches for him, so you shift over on your blanket and pat the spot next to you with a welcoming smile on your face. “you can come eat if you want, i have plenty of food!” you spoke in a gentle voice.

his eyes shot up to you, wide as can be, and his mouth seemed to part in shock. he quickly stutter out a small, “r-really?” and you smiled again while nodding.

he quickly moves to join you on the blanket, still fidgeting every now and then, but ultimately looking more comfortable than he did a few minutes ago!

you move the try of sandwiches and fruit between the two of you as well as the honey. you can see that he hesitates to grab something, so you pick up an apple slice and dipped it in the honey, then happily munched away while pretending to focus on anything other than the massive bear man beside you. following your example, he gently plucks a grape from the bunch and chews. after that, he is more confident, picking up and munching on all the food he wants. from the sandwiches to the fruits, he even had some water too.

you sat in a comfortable silence for a while before you heard his small, raspy voice ask, “can i have some honey too?”

you had to fight to keep to coo you desperately wanted to release from moving past your lips, so you cleared your throat before offering him the jar with a soft, “of course you can” you noticed his eyes light up at that. and he seemed to relax even more with ever bite he ate.

as the sun started to set, you began to pack up. his eyebrows furrowed, and without thinking he blurted out, “aren’t you going to look at the stars?”

you froze your movement of placing the trey in your basket, and slowly turned to look at him. once your eyes landed on him you noticed how he was madly blushing and staring at the blanket as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

a small smile of realization grew across your face, but you wanted to mess with him a bit. “how do you know i look at the stars?” you ask in a teasing tone.

“his eyes got wide but his gaze remained on the blanket. “i- um, m-my friend s-said that you do it sometimes!” he rushed out with a squeak.

“really?” you begin, “because i only ever see one animal when i stargaze and i didn’t think he was the kind to talk about me behind my back.” you say softly, setting your trap.

his eyes snapped up to yours at that, “i don’t!” his blush darkened once he realized what he admitted.

you giggled at his reaction before reassuring him that you were not upset, and inviting him back to have dinner with you tomorrow while you stargaze. still red, he grew a big smile and quickly accepted. you have him the rest of the food to take with him back to his home, and watched him happily trot off into the forest.

<3

well, one night turned into two nights, two nights turned into every night, and every night turned into picnics at noon and dinner past sunset while sitting a little too close and watching the blues, purples, and pinks of the sky melt into a soft midnight blue.

you learned that his name was asahi, and that he had a few other friends in the forms of crows, squirrels, and deer, but no other bears. you also learned that he thought you were very pretty when you moved in and desperately wanted to spend time with you, but didn’t want to scare you off. which is why he looked so crestfallen on that first night that you ran away, and tried to be so sneaky when he came back. you also figured out that asahi is generally nervous. as the weeks past he got much more comfortable with you, but whenever he was struggling with something or trying something new, he acted the same way that he did when he joined you for your picnic. and over that same course of time, you began liking him more and more. you looked forward to seeing him every day, and he began feeling the same for you.

one night, you were cuddled up on your picnic blanket gazing at the stars. he was laying on his back and you were curled into his side with your ear on his chest, letting the rise and fall as well as his steady heartbeat relax you. in an effort to get more comfortable, you lifted your leg to rest it along his hip. suddenly you heard his heartbeat pick up, to the point where you would say a band was playing in his chest. worried that you were making him uncomfortable, and knowing damn well that he’s too nervous to say anything if he was, you moved to slide your leg off, only to be stopped by his big hand gripping your thigh. surprised, you snap your head up to look at his face and are met with a very red asahi. in an effort to get a better look at him, you press a hand on his chest to help boost yourself up and not only hear, but feel the deep growl he released rumble through his chest and straight down to your core.

“asahi,” you begin, “are you alright? i can move if-“

“no!” he shouts. in a calmer, but still rushed voice he continued, “i-i mean, no, you don’t have to move.”

still worried for him, you proceed with your earlier plan of sliding your leg off of him to get into a more platonic position, but receive another deep growl when your thigh brushes against something hard, and big. your eyes widened and you froze, you could feel the heat spreading through your own cheeks. his grip on your thigh tightened once again, and he slowly began to move your leg back and forth along his cloth covered length. you glanced back up at his face to find him staring straight up at the sky, blush still prominent, and sharp canines digging into his lower lip.

feeling bold, you shifted yourself again so that you were straddling his hips, cheek still rested against his chest. you grabbed his free hand and the one from your thigh and placed them on your waist before you began to rock your hips against him. this produced yet another deep growl from the bear and a soft whine from you.

his grip on your waist tightened as he took control of your movement and forced you to rock faster and harder. when you released a breathy moan his grip tightened even more, then suddenly he flipped you onto your back. his claws had already penetrated your shirt, so he simply curled them and pulled to rip it to shreds, then did the same with your shorts. his heavy pants and hip rolls never stopped as he took in your body, only covered by the thin material of your underwear. you looked up at him with wide doe eyes and parted lips that he desperately ached to pepper with kisses, he couldn’t get enough of you.

you shifted slightly, trying to sit up so that you could kiss him, touch him, only to be stopped by a growl that sent shivers up your spine and a giant hand on your chest pushing you back down. “stay down,” asahi growled with a slight snarl, “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted this, wanted you,” he continued as he yanked his pants off, “and now i finally get to have you in all the ways i dreamed of,” he lowered himself so that his chest was pressed to yours and your lips were only a breath away, “so be good for me little one, and i’ll make sure you feel just as good as i do.”

you could feel even more heat rush to your cheeks and a continuous throb at your core from his words alone. feelings that only intensified when he ripped your underwear to shreds and buried his head between your legs. his fluffy brown ears twitch as he whines once he finally has a taste of you. asahis hands grip your thighs, his sharp claws slightly digging into your skin as he eats you like a starved man. when you glance down at him from your position, you can see his hips rutting into the blanket in time with the thrusts of his tongue.

he moves one of his hands from your thigh, giving you a glare that reads “stay put”, before shoving two of his big fingers into your cunt. his lips move to lock around your clit and he times his sucks with the curl of his fingers so that both of your pleasure points are being stimulated at the same time. his pace increases with the volume of your cries, whines, and whimpers of pleasure, brown ears never ceasing their twitches to catch every one as it falls from your lips. you reach a hand down to slightly tug on his still tied up hair and earn a deep, rumbled growl on your clit. the vibration makes your hips buck into his face, and his free hand moves from your thigh to your abdomen before pushing down hard with another growl.

“stay. put. little one.” he rumbles before quickly returning to your clit to continue his assault.

with the never-ending stimulation in your clit, along with the curl of his, now three, fingers on your g-spot, it’s no surprise to you how quickly you come undone. your cries become high pitched and breathy, and it becomes harder for you to keep your hips from bucking into asahis face. your grip on his hair increases which makes the bear moan directly onto your clit. your vision turned spotty as you reach your high, asahis fingers and tongue carrying you through it. he begins to slow his movement after a few moments to allow you to come down from your high.

your eyelids flutter open and closed until you catch his big body looming over yours. once your eyes fully open your locked into his loving, lustful gaze that makes your body melt down into the blanket and you legs fall open.

“are you okay with continuing little one?” he asks in a soft voice while brushing a small strand of hair away from your face, “we can stop now if you’re tired.”

“n-no,” your slightly shocked by the rasp to your voice, but continue none the less, “i want to keep going, i want you so bad, please!”

asahi simply smiles lovingly down at you before lining his throbbing cock up with your dripping cunt. you feel the stretch as the head pops past your entrance, slightly wincing but offering a nod when asahi gives you a look of concern. as he inches in you notice the rise and fall of his chest increase to a pant, and his hands are curled into tight fists by the sides of your head. it’s only when he hurried to the hilt that he lets out a strangled cry and a depraved, almost feral growl. his eyes dart up to yours when his hips begin to rock almost on their own accord, silently begging you to give him some sign that it’s okay to move. when you give him a small smile and nod, his hands rush to grab the backs of your knees and pin them to your chest. after his first, real thrust the bear lets out the most terrifying growl you’ve ever heard him produce, but it only sends a shiver of pleasure down your spine to your clenching cunt.

asahi clearly feels said clench, because he bares his sharp teeth and grips your thighs tighter while picking up the pace of his hips. driving himself into your dripping, soft, warm, pretty pussy with all of the strength he can muster. the thought of not being able to walk tomorrow would cross your mind if you could use it, but the strong bear above you is the only thing on you can think of. you can see the ripple and tensing of his muscles as he fucks you like his life depends on it, slamming his hips into yours like he’s trying to breach your cervix.

“so pretty, so pretty little one, so good, so good for me, just for me” each phrase is spoke between pants, moans, and growls. asahis thrusts never faltering, stuttering, or stopping. “taking me so well pretty baby, my pretty baby, mine”

the possessive undertone to his words flies over your head as you can feel your second orgasm approaching at a rapid rate. his breath stutters when he feels you clench tighter around his cock, quickly understanding and moving his hand to rub fast circles on your clit. before he places his fingers where you need them, he moves your legs so that his other hand is holding both of your ankles together high by your head. now, with his thumb circling your clit and the tightness the new position creates, your high hits your like a truck with no breaks. your vision goes completely white this time, the pleasurable feeling spreading from your scalp all the way down to the tips of your toes.

your orgasm triggered asahis, his hips stuttering while he whines and whimpers, spurts of his cum painting your silky insides. he drops your legs and moves his hands to grip your hips while he continues to rock his own into you. letting out shaky sighs and ahhs as he does.

once his hips come to a stop, he hunches over to pepper kisses all over your face, then nuzzles his nose into your neck, breathing a sigh of content while his hands stroke along your hips and stomach.

you reach your hands up to play with his hair, twirling the strands between your fingers. your heart starts racing for a different reason when you hear his whisper a little, “i love you” a large smile breaking out onto your face before you whisper it back.

asahis grip around your waist tightens as he rolls onto his back. keeping his cock lodged inside you while he positions you on his chest. the movement reminds you that he has yet to pull out, “asahi? aren’t you going to pull out?”

“no,” he begins, nuzzling his nose into your hair with his voice still breathy, “if we just keep it in the we won’t have to stretch you out when we go again.”

i hope you enjoyed !! -eden<3

#eden !! #bear!asahi !! #grizzly bear!asahi !! #bearboy aisle !! #petboy mart !! #haikyuu petboys #haikyuu petboys !!

[undiscovered-horizon]

Imagine Peter "saving" you from a pushy classmate.

[TW (?): dude being pushy]

Both you and Peter had a habit, although developed independently, of leaving the last Tuesday class as soon as the bell rang. The reasons for it were also quite different: Peter to "accidentally" bump into you and you to escape a guy named Dan, who remained clueless about fairly obvious social cues despite approaching his twenties.

You were speedwalking to your locker, thinking only about putting your books away and being out of the building before Dan gets a chance to catch up to you. It was obvious quite early on that "no, thanks" meant more of a "try again later" to him and you didn't know how many more plausible excuses you could come up with. And it's not like you could throw hands

It was when you were putting your books into your locker, that you heard footsteps down the hall - unfortunately, the locker door was blocking your vision. You closed it and immediately jumped in surprise, seeing Dan leaning against your locker, eyes locked on your face. He seemed happy about something, staring at you with a dreamy look that made your lunch remind you of its existence.

"You free this evening?" He asked. You didn't respond. "Come on, don't make me make you!" Although he framed it as a joke, his intense gaze told you it was sincere. Dan towered over you, slightly leaning forward in a quite imposing manner.

"I'm sorry but-"

"Hey baby, you ready to go?" You felt an arm around your shoulders. Dan's expression fell and although he attempted to look as neutral as he could, it was easy to tell his blood was boiling. The male voice was vaguely familiar to you.

Shocked and at a loss for words, you turned your head to the side only to see a somehow familiar face with big eyes and a wild coiffure. Wasn't that the guy who sat in the corner in English? Parker, wasn't it?

"Yeah, we can go," you answered with the best genuity your anxiety and acting skills allowed. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Dan absolutely livid, barely containing the anger inside him.

Peter pulled you away, in the direction of the exit and, giving a friendly nod to Dan, walked away with his arm still around your shoulders. The sudden relief at the appearence of the unforeseen hero nearly made your knees buckle. For now, you weren't thinking about the consequences of Peter's decisions and whether he didn't just poke a bear with a mace.

"You alright?" he asked when you two were out of Dan's earshot. Although he hated to do so, Peter pulled away his arm the moment the two of you left the building, fearing that he was being imposing.

"I think so," you sighed tiredly. "I can't thank you enough. Dude really can't take a hint, you know?"

"It's (Y/N), right?" He asked. Not that he had to - he has been lovesick for quite some time. "I'm Peter Parker."

"Oh, I know."

"You...know me?" he asked hesitantly and stopped mid-step. His cheeks and ears reddened slightly. Peter put his hands into pockets to hide that they started to sweat.

"Come on, everyone heard about what happened with you and Flash. Honestly, I'm quite impressed. It was about time someone stood up to him."

"Oh, that, yeah," he laughed awkwardly. First, it turned out that you know him and now you're, apparently, impressed with him? Peter started to fear that if he pinches himself he might wake up. After all, how lucky can he get on a one Tuesday afternoon? "Hey, (Y/N), if Dan ever gets to you again, just let me know."

"Thanks but judging from how angry he got, I think it's you he will be after now. You sure you're going to be alright? I would hate if something happend to you because of me."

"Don't worry, I'm gonna be fine."

Is this what people call "having butterflies"?, Peter asked himself. Hearing that you were worried about him made his chest nearly explode, an unknown tingle appeared in his fingers as all of his blood flooded his face.

"So, uhm, can I pay you back somehow?" you asked sheepishly. Your slight embarrassment made Peter's heartbeat forget its regular rhythm for a moment, the bashful blush that crept onto your cheeks might have been the most adorable thing he has ever seen.

"We could grab a bite?" he offered hesitantly. Peter resembled a character from an action movie that cautiously taps on the glass floor to check whether it breaks. He just "saved" you from a pushy, oblivious guy and asking you out immedietely after was less than distasteful. The added value would be you starting to hate and avoid him right away, which his little, lovestruck heart could never take.

"Sure," you gave him a smile. You really were trying to get his heart to give out. "There's a great Jamaican place not too far from here."

#tasm!peter parker #tasm #tasm!peter x you #tasm!peter imagine #tasm!peter x y/n #peter parker #spider-man #spider man #fanfiction #imagine #scenario #marvel #fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine #marvel scenario #the amazing spider man #the amazing spiderman #marvel spiderman #spider man x reader #amazing spiderman #spider man scenario #spiderman #spider man imagine #spider man fanfiction #tasm!peter parker fluff #tasm!peter parker x reader #tasm!peter fluff #tasm!spider man

[dez78]

Making His Mark

Fandom: Clone Wars

Rating: PG 

Warnings: Slight mention of smut, reader is gender neutral

Pairings: Plo Koon X Reader, Rex X Reader, Wolffe X Reader

Summary: You try to hide the love bites left from your lover from the night before.

Tags: Dominant, Love bites, Hickeys, Embarrassment, Teasing

(Y/N)= Your name

Rex: You are in the briefing with Rex, Anakin, and Ahsoka. Listening to Master Kenobi and Commander Cody. You carefully pull your tunic higher up on your collar bone, you and Rex had quite the night before. Rex was the first to notice your gesture and snorted a laugh. You blushed a deep red and scoffed at him, if anyone found out about your relationship, both of you would be expelled. Anakin glanced at you briefly but turned back to Obi-Wan. 

Rex casually strolled over to you, he brushed the small of your back, you jumped, Ahsoka this time turned to you, she eyed you for a minute, but then turned her full attention back to Obi-Wan. Rex leaned into you and whispered, 

“Seems, my love is getting attention. Go on, show them.” Rex smirked as he slid your tunic down, revealing his trail of love bites along your neck and chest. The briefing ended and Anakin turned to you. 

“What happened to you (Y/N)?” He questioned, you pinched your eyes shut and blushed a dark red, Rex only laughed as he grabbed your waist. Rules be damned anyway. Anakin didn’t say anything, he only smirked. He walked away with Ahsoka who also had a devious grin. You turned to Rex, 

“That was uncalled for. They don’t need to know.” You hissed, Rex rolled his eyes, 

“Ain’t like Skywalker is going to tell on us.” He said, you huffed your response as you followed Rex, who was catching up with Anakin. 

Plo Koon: You stood with the Jedi general, the two of you made love just the night before, it was slow and sensual, but also needy. This night however, your lover decided now would be a good time to mark you. Since Plo didn’t wear his mask in his quarters at night, he removed it and left his mark on you. Many bruises on your skin. 

You brought your arm up to cover them casually, but Plo grabbed your arm gently and held it at your side. This was not a good time; you were speaking with Master Fisto about the current mission. You trembled, if you got caught, the two of you would be in deep trouble. 

Why such fear, my dearest? Let them know you are mine. 

The words made you shiver delightfully, you could see Plo smile beneath his mask when you looked up at him. 

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?” Kit questioned, you looked up, 

“Quite. Why?” You asked, 

“Well your neck is all bruised? Did you get into a brawl?” Kit questioned. Your face immediately drained of all color. Plo let go of your arm, 

“Y-yes...I mean no.” You stammered, you cursed yourself, you sighed and tried again. 

“I got into a brawl yes, but I am fine.” You replied meekly. Your color only returning to paint your cheeks a deep red. Kit nodded understandingly and dismissed himself. 

Once he was out of sight, you glared up at Plo, he gave you a seemingly innocent look. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, 

“You always get me in trouble.” You grumbled, 

“I do, but you must admit. You wear my marking well, little one.” Plo replied as he walked away swiftly, you followed him, your cheeks still red. 

Wolffe: The two of you stood before the Jedi council through a hologram call, it was urgent business. Wolffe stood tall, his chest puffed out, his arms behind his back, a smug smirk on his face as you tried desperately to cover the many love bites, he had given you the night before. He was proud of his work; he left his mark on you. 

Like a man starved, that’s how he treated you last night. Growls, love bites, and bruising your hips. You were his and he wanted everyone to know it. Even if it meant the two of you would be dismissed from the military. Maybe that’s what he wanted, after all this was just another pointless war. 

“(Y/N), you seem distracted.” Mace scolded you, 

“I’ve had a rough night, master. Forgive me, I got little sleep.” You said, it was mostly true, but not for the right reasons. Wolffe laughed at this, proudly you may add. You rolled your eyes, luckily the masters didn’t catch on and continued. 

Wolffe went up to you and rolled your tunic off your shoulders a bit, 

“No, show the galaxy that you are mine, show them how pretty you look with my marks all over your skin.” Wolffe said, he bites your earlobe and you gasped softly, your cheeks turning a humiliating red when the council members look your way. Wolffe had moved out of the way, the teasing would have to wait for later, now was the secrecy. The masters, eyed you a moment, but then resumed. You sighed out in relief. 

“You almost got me in trouble, you nerf herder.” You hissed in a whisper, Wolffe only laughed at you, 

“You love me, and you know it.” He snorted at you, you glared at him sharply. 

“You’re impossible.” You snapped as you folded your arms, 

“You’re beautiful when you’re mad.” Wolffe continued to mock you, your frown furthered, while he simply laughed, enjoying every moment. 

#plo koon #plo koon x reader #captain rex #captain rex x reader #clone trooper wolffe #commander wolffe #wolffe x reader #clone wars #the clone wars #star wars anakin #anakin skywalker #obi-wan #star wars obi wan #ahsoka #commander cody #star wars #female reader #male reader #gender neutral reader #love bites

[spenciegoob]

Swing to the Stars

this fic swap is for @reidgraygubler​ ... I really hope you like it, shadow :)

A/N: AAAAH! this is my first fic swap and I’M SO EXCITED!!!!

Summary: Spencer meets someone in his little hiding spot, and desperately hopes to see them again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral!Reader

Category: fluff with a dash of angst

Content Warnings: mentions of Maeve & William Reid, talk of a case involving teens, mentions of bullying, mentions of guns and pepper spray (not used)

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.4K

___

The first time I climbed that treacherous hill, dirtying my converse for all to see what my night activities truly consisted of, I was alone. I enjoyed it like that, I came here by myself, and I intended to keep it that way. When I sat on the swing dangling by two dangerously flimsy ropes, I thought how ridiculously large the slap of wood used to make it was. My elbows were bent a little over a 90 degree angle just to reach both sides, but I never thought past it. I had other things on my mind that night.

I thought about my mom. I knew she would have loved a secluded, little space like this. She would’ve probably read to me here, using different voices that held deep emotion to convey each story with a precise amount of dedication and love. Each story to her was special, and I silently thank her every day for passing that trait down to me. 

Unfortunately, if I thought about my mom, I thought about my dad. William was never a kind man, and I could pride myself on one thing; I would never be like him. He didn’t deserve to know a place like this. It was too serene, too beautiful to house a man so willing to abandon the two people who should’ve been the most important to him. I was glad he would never get the chance to sit on this swing.

I thought about my family. How Garcia would jump with excitement at the prospect of having a picnic overlooking the city, yet quiet and missing the sounds of cars zooming by or overlapping chatter. I thought about JJ, and how Henry would beg her to push him in the swing, because to a little kid, it was perfect. He didn’t look at the frayed rope and fear that it would snap. I hope he never starts to fear the world like that.

The second time I found myself back at the bottom of the hill, I made it halfway to the top before seeing a couple getting up from the swing they were sitting together on. I realized then why it was so comically large; it was meant for two people. Thankfully when I reached the top only half out of breath, the two were starting their descent to where I came from.

This time when I sat down, I thought about Maeve. I would’ve brought her here, shared the little secret corner of the world I built for myself. She would’ve loved something like this, and I know if life wasn’t so cruel, and I was given the chance to show her, we would’ve talked for hours. So that’s what I did that time; I talked to Maeve. To anyone else, I probably looked like a crazy person talking to himself, but much to my delight, not many people made the trip up the hill to find this place.

Now I go whenever I need a break from my mind, which unfortunately is more times than my schedule allows me to take that leisurely walk. I spend my nights sometimes after a particularly hard case there no matter the time, using the ropes that scratch my hands as my lifeline down to Earth. I watch the stars, screaming and cursing at the world in my head and waiting for the sky to respond. It never did, and the next case always came in the following morning.

This particular time that I found myself at the bottom of the grassy hill waiting to be climbed, the case I just returned from involved kids across the board. A teenage unsub was killing his fellow classmates that have wronged him. Unfortunately, the BAU had to witness his stressor recorded for the whole school to see. It involved vile insults being thrown at the young, defenseless boy only for the bullying to escalate to violence.

It was awful.

As I trudged up the hill with less excitement to look into the vast unknown than usual, I couldn’t stop thinking about the unsub. All he wanted in life was a friend, someone to talk to, laugh with, share memories together. No matter how wrong it was, I saw myself in him. Our souls held the same scars given to us by people who had no right to go digging for such a deep part of ourselves. If I didn’t make it, would I have turned out like him?

When I reached the top, completing my journey once again, I saw them. Sitting there, staring out into the sky, mimicking my thoughts to do the same on the jet ride home. I could only make out half their face lit up by the light casting down from the full moon, but I didn’t need to see more to know they were breathtaking.

I would have turned around to return home to nothing more than books reread thousands of times and stale coffee, but I already made the mistake of stepping on a rather large branch that broke in half. The crunch coming from their right immediately had them on edge, and reaching for their bag that I could only assume had some sort of weapon inside. I hope it was legal.

I felt terrible for breaking them from the trance they were in. They were deep in thought about something that was probably going to become a solution if I hadn't interrupted their musing. 

“H-hi, I’m sorry to scare you. I didn’t expect anyone here this late. Not that you being here is a problem! I didn’t mean to disturb you,” I frantically shouted, although there was less distance between us than I originally thought, and probably seemed crazed by my volume level.

They just giggled at first, but upon seeing my distraught expression, their face turned more kind than humorous.

“That’s okay. I’m just glad I didn’t jump so fast to pepper spray you. That would definitely be the worst case scenario.” I let out a breath of relief for some reason. Here I was, in front of a total stranger thankful that their weapon of choice wasn’t a gun. I’ve been on the wrong end of too many during my years.

“Did you know Chemical Mace, more commonly known as pepper spray, was invented in the 1960s by a man named Alan Lee Litman and his wife Doris Litman at the time. Their reason was actually because one of Doris’s female coworkers was attacked and robbed, so they thought to create a nonlethal weapon with easy accessibility and use, considering not everyone is able to use a gun. It wasn’t until 1987 however that the Litman’s sold their creation to Smith and Wesson where it was mass produced and later sold to law enforcement.”

“Wow, I don’t think I did.” They laughed again, but something in my heart told me it wasn’t meant to come with malicious intent. “Do you do that a lot?”

“Do what?” I asked, even though I had some inclination of what they were referencing.

“Spout random facts. I’m not complaining, that was very cool, but I am fully intrigued.” They smiled again at me fondly, the kind of smile that left me a little breathless, even more so than the 45 degree incline I had to climb to find myself in front of them. There was nothing to convince me they weren’t authentic in every word they stated.

“I do it quite often, yes. It gets annoying after a while though.” It was true, I was told on many occasions that my rambling got old very fast. I suppose that’s what happens when you’re close to me for too long. I tend to stop being the awe-striking genius, and become the nagging, walking encyclopedia.

“I don’t see how that could become annoying.” It sounded sad coming from them, like I had insulted their oddity. I would never, and I was really hoping to find out what it was.

I had nothing further to say that would express my shock, and slight fondness over their praise, wary of its honesty even if it did come from them. I hadn’t known them for more than 4 minutes and 36 seconds, but it was enough to figure out that they weren’t a liar. It wasn’t from profiling either.

“You know, there is room for two people here if you wanted to join me. I’m sure you didn’t climb that hill for nothing.” They continued for me. If they noticed my surprise, they said nothing about it. 

Usually, I would be skeptical of being in a close proximity with a stranger, but as I approached them carefully, even if their hand was no longer reaching for mace, I felt the passing between our eyes. It was as if we had shared every part of ourselves with eye contact, and as crazy as it sounds, I felt the somber thoughts that lingered from their previous reflections.

So I sat down, grabbing onto only one of the scratchy ropes, and enjoying the way I could rest my elbow against my side now that I was using the swing to its fullest potential. I stopped caring about the probability of the ropes snapping under our combined body weight. The worst that could possibly happen was I bruised my tailbone a little bit, but I wouldn’t care past the initial embarrassment. At least I had someone to show that with.

“Do you ever think about what’s out there?” They asked once I was settled on the wood slab as comfortably as I could muster. Being boney didn’t necessarily help. Before I could answer, they continued. “I can tell you’re a man of science, if the fact dump wasn’t any indicator, but I mean beyond the facts, and the known.”

“No, I don’t think about it.” It was a lie, I think about it every time I’m here, but I wanted nothing more in this moment than to know how they saw the stars.

“I do. Quite frequently, actually. I mean, I’ve read every book there ever was about the stars and space, but there is still no answer to my question.”

“What question?” I had to know.

“What’s exactly written in the stars,” they replied, using their hands to showcase the sky above us. I sat back and thought for a while. Like the books they’ve read, I too didn’t have the response to their question. God, how I wish I did.

I don’t know how long we sat there quietly. One of the perks of total darkness in the dead of night is that the moon couldn’t tell time the way the sun did. We got lost in the cosmos together, contemplating sharing our own troubled thoughts with each other. It would have felt right if we did, but alas, the ringing of my cell phone dropped a pin in our reflections.

“I- I’m sorry, I have to take this,” I rushed out before standing up and accepting the incoming call from Penelope. I knew it was a case before her bubbly voice rang through my celular. I allowed the disappointment to bleed through my tone when I told her I would be back at the BAU shortly, hoping that the small release of the emotion would be enough to ward it off in time to turn back around. 

It didn’t.

They were already looking at me expectantly when I made my way back to the swing, bending down to retrieve my satchel I had abandoned on the ground. The amount of guilt on my face must have been enough to tell them I had to leave abruptly, despite the fact that the only thing I wanted to do was stay for even just a second.

“That’s okay,” they spoke softly, giving me a tight lipped smile. “We’ll see each other again.”

“How do you know?” I couldn’t help but be skeptical. Life never did work out in my favor. They looked up at the sky once more before answering.

“Just a feeling.” I let a full grin break out at their response, the first one I’ve had when visiting this place. I turned around to start my journey back to the office where dark, and twisted things lurked behind manilla folders. Before starting my descent however, I spun around quickly, almost losing my footing and taking a tumble.

“Woah there tiger, don’t hurt yourself,” they giggled at me, one that I returned with my own breathy laugh.

“I just don’t know your name.” It baffled me a little bit that I hadn’t thought to ask before this, but they just gave me one last smile, tilting their head in faux contemplation.

“Ask me next time.” I will.

***

It’s been a year since I met them, and I haven’t seen them since. Not for a lack of trying however. After that case, I went there every night until a new one arose, this time taking me to Oregon. They hadn’t been back, and part of me wondered if it was because of me. Did I not try hard enough the first time? Should I have ignored my ringer until my phone had 5 missed calls from Penelope?

But then my eidetic memory swooped in to save me from going down that road, one of the only times it wasn’t the cause of my self destructive thoughts. Because while I replayed the conversation over in my head wondering where it went wrong, I remembered their eyes, and their smile.

I remembered what it felt like to sit with them, and thankfully that was enough to convince myself our meeting wasn’t in vain.

I never was the kind of man to believe in the universe. The whole notion that “everything happens for a reason,” felt like a lie created to somehow blame an external force on the chaos in one’s life. There were so many things in my life that had no reason for happening, and to blame that on anything or anyone but myself would be a cheap excuse of a way out.

But for some odd reason, the universe aside, I believed in them, and strangely enough, I don’t think they would have blamed me for the life I had to live. So, as I sit down tonight on this familiar piece of wood, I choose to stare at the stars instead of the ground, and believe that if I spoke aloud, maybe they would hear me.

And they did, because my efforts to sit on one side of the swing in case they returned to me were not in vain. I didn’t look over, I didn’t have to to know it was them. I had already relaxed once their presence was known in my peripherals.

“Y/N,” they spoke, causing me to change my view on the stars to their side profile. It wasn’t all that different than staring at the constellations spread around us. “My name’s Y/N.”

___

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