#but I’m in a head space where I wish I had atleast been placed in a coma for like a year 😳😫 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

books-and-catears · 2 years

Note

Hello! You probably won’t see this, but I recently found your account and it’s been my safe space! I’ve been having really bad days and when I read your stuff I feel a lot better, so I would like to thank you. I actually downloaded tumbler because of you! So, here’s my question, how would the brothers react to a Suicidal MC? Or MC saying they don’t want to live? I’m sorry if this is too heavy of a concept or dumb, I just wanted to ask cause I haven’t been doing great. Love your account! :)

Oh dear, I'm so sorry...*hugs tight* I'm so grateful that this could be your safe space, and I'm so sorry about what you're going through. You don't deserve any of it, and I'm sure it'll pass. And this is not a dumb concept at all, I found myself thinking about writing it a few times too.

Thank you for your ask and kind words, I hope this brings you whatever little comfort it can. Wish you nothing but happiness and love. And if the bad thoughts get too much, please reach out to someone near you okay?

Tw: Suicidal tendency mentions, Harsh language

Hold On to Me

It doesn't really go away. That voice at the back of your head, telling you to end it right now. The easiest way out of misery. It'll just be like falling asleep, a little pain and then nothing more.

How long had you been standing on that ledge of thought, simply frozen in place? Not falling, not pushing yourself back to safety. Living with seven more people doesn't help either.

Because who had the time to sit down and talk about it? Atleast that's the excuse you used to never tell them about it.

Until you accidentally let it slip.

They were visiting you in the human world. You were so happy initially. And then things just started going wrong...you didn't know how to stop it. It was all barelling so fast out of control. You were sick of it. Tired. And it reached your eyes.

And one of them noticed. And they followed you to your room only to keep on asking. And you couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I just want to end it. I'm tired. Tired of everything. I don't want to live anymore."

LUCIFER stares at you with wide eyes. Wide scared eyes only for a second before he clears his throat.

"Do you have plans tomorrow, MC?" He asks, his grip tightening on the buttons of his coat.

"Not that I can think of." You said.

"I'd like to take you someplace. Please join me tomorrow afternoon. And get some good rest tonight." He said, before leaving the room.

He took you by the hand to an old garden in Devildom. It was overgrown, dried petals of flowers long dead graced the grey grass.

"This is where..," Lucifer paused and threaded his fingers through yours. "This is where I saw Lilith for the last time."

"...." You listened silently in awe.

"We had lost the war. Whoever joined me had fallen. I was the leader who doomed them all. So this is also where I almost joined Lilith in death." Lucifer said softly.

"I looked at my brothers, in pain and bleeding, their wings and body burnt and figured. It was a long fall. But then something saved me. Saved all of us. Diavolo..he changed everything."

"...."

"If I did go on to end myself, Lilith would never be reborn as human, my brothers might have followed me into death, and I would have never met you."

"Lucifer...I-"

He stands in front of you, placing his arms in your shoulders and pulling you closer.

"I don't know if I can save you from what you're feeling. But you can be certain I'll give my all. You're not alone. Just like I wasn't alone."

_____________________________________

MAMMON shook his head softly, furrowing his eyebrows, like it was a bad nightmare he was trying to wake up from.

"No.. oh no no no, not you MC..." It was like the mere thought of you permanant absence gave him a million ounces of pain at once.

"Mammon... you're shaking!" You help him onto the bed, refusing to take his eyes off you.

He didn't say another word. He simply leaned his head forward and onto your shoulder. Your shoulder felt damp and his breath was unstable.

"If ya end it...I...who am I.. going to protect? No, I have to protect you from this feeling. I'll protect ya from it. I know just what to do! Come with me!"

"Mammon wait- wait, you're not stable! Where are you taking me?!" He was desperate and erratic. Keeping his eyes ahead, he carried you through the skies, taking you someplace you had no idea about yet.

"I've seen it okay?! I've heard humans say this shit and then be gone." His jaw clenched. He was fighting back panicking tears.

"I've seen them jump off buildings and swallow pills and more horrible things. They wanted to end it, they said. And they almost ended up doing it! But there is a way to save them...they need to talk to these 'specialists' who make these thoughts go away, I know it!"

"Mammon..."

"Just talk to them okay? I don't know how long it'll take but it'll go away! I know it will, MC...just please. I don't want to lose you to it."

______________________________________

LEVI dropped the whole pile of manga he was carrying for you. As you sighed and turned around in exhaustion, Levi crept up behind you. He stood closer now looking dead serious.

"It's not worth it, MC. It's really not worth it." Levi said gravely. "The people who hurt you or never cared about you will make a great big show of lies of how much they cared about you. And the people who actually cared will suffer in silence."

"Levi....You almost sound like you-" You cup his face. He hangs his head leaning into your touch.

"Right after the things had gotten peaceful in the Celestial Realm. When there was no need for the Navy or it's Admiral, I-" He paused.

He never planned to tell you this story. What if you think of him as weak? Or weaker than he already was.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's okay Levi." You insisted. But he saw the same tired look he saw in himself, on you. He had to tell you.

"I went off to the human world. By myself. Hoping to get lost or something. I'd never that useless before."

"...."

"All I did was worry my brothers. The only people who never made me feel like shit for not having anything to do anymore. It didn't feel good you know?"

You stood there in silence still absorbing his story. He blushed deeply realizing how bold he had decided to be suddenly and freaked out. You almost laughed.

"I- I- Did I say all that?! Oh no! I don't know what I was thinking - forget all of that MC, lets just go read the new manga I got!"

__________________________________

SATAN stood there silently for a minute before he sat down on your bed. He looked at you and patted the mattress next to him, asking you to take a seat.

"Would you like to talk about it? It helps more than you realise." He said.

You sigh. "It's... it's a lot. I don't know."

"What would you like to do right now? At this very moment." He asked, nudging your shoulder with his.

"I...I just want to rest, I guess. I can't think of anything else." You said, throwing your hands in the air.

"Then let's rest." He falls back on the bed, holding his hand out to you. You take it and he pulls you down too.

You both lie there, staring at the ceiling in silence, his fingers softly caressing your knuckles. You felt yourself calming down, an odd sense of calm filling the air.

"This feels better?" He asked, looking over at you. You nodded.

"There's always things you'll want to do. And they will give you happiness no matter how much." Satan said, inching closer.

"Please don't deny yourself that happiness, MC. You deserve every bit of it."

"Satan..."

"And if you're feeling overwhelmed, I'm always here. I'll hold your hand and do whatever makes you a little happier. You mean too much to me, MC...I don't want you to feel this way alone."

________________________________

ASMO's eyes brimmed up with tears within seconds. "Don't... don't say things like that, MC..."

"Just leave Asmo. Please, I'm sorry I'm just not in a good state of mind." You said, exasperated.

"That's all the more reason I can't leave you alone, darling." Asmo moved ahead and swiftly put his arms around you, his head resting on top of yours.

"I can't talk right now, Asmo. I need some space okay? I don't any control what I might say to you and hurt you." You prodded. Everything felt unpleasant and suffocating.

"I don't mind MC." Asmo smiled. "You humans have such a self destructive pride - you push others away when you need them most. And hide your sadness with rage. A few of my own brothers do too."

"...."

"You can say whatever you want to me. Be as angry as you can. Curse all you want. I know you won't mean it."

He smiles the prettiest smile, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of your head. And you relax into his hug.

_________________________________

The TWINs had come together and they exchanged horrified glances. Beel moved first and stood right before you. "MC..."

"Not now, Beel...just please, let me be awhile. I'm too tired for this." You try to reason.

He simply cups your face, stroking a stray tear running down your cheek. When did you even start to cry? "You're hurting inside. This is why you haven't been eating?"

"I'm just not hungry, Beel. That all."

"And you haven't been sleeping well either have you?" Belphie reached out a stroked the bags under your eyes. "Stop doing this to yourself, MC."

You move back letting both their hands fall off you. Too much at once. You couldn't take it right now.

"You don't get to tell me what to do or not do with myself. Besides I'm fine. I just need to be alone for a while."

"You need space, we get it. But please don't do anything stupid. We're right on the other side of the door." Belphie tugged at Beel's jacket. "Let's go Beel. MC just needs some alone time."

Beel dashed out only to come back within seconds with a handful of snacks and your favourite ice cream. "Please don't starve yourself."

"....I won't Beel, don't worry. Thank you for all this."

Belphie puffed up your pillow before he left. "I enchanted the pillow. You'll have a good sleep and no nightmaresa. We're right here when you need us."

"Thank you Belphie..."

#obey me #obey me angst #obey me comfort #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me belphie #obey me beel #obey me asmo #obey me imagine #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #obey me Leviathan

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doeilovr · 3 years

Text

DREAMING

-> Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

-> Genre: Angst, a bit of fluff

-> Warnings: mentions of car accident and amnesia, smoking, swearing, mentions hospital

-> Words count: 3.5k

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Jaemin opened his eyes, the fluorescent light making his head hurt a bit. He looked around, mouth dry and mind blank. Jaemin’s eyes were still adjusting to the light, when he suddenly felt a hand on top of his.

Jaemin’s eyes wandered to your sleeping figure, head resting on the bed, while your hands were covering his gently. He froze, studying you with furrowed brows.

You moved in the probably uncomfortable position you were in, lifting your head to meet Jaemin’s eyes. “Hey”, you gently said, almost in a whisper and with a warm smile on your lips.

“You slept here again”, Jaemin stated, trying his best to smile back at you. You shrugged, properly sitting up in the chair, hands not leaving Jaemin’s.

Jaemin studied you, his eyes wandering between yours and your warm hands.

Why, just why was it so hard to remember. Jaemin wished he could remember you the way you remember him. He wished he could give back the love that radiated from your eyes.

You chuckled awkwardly, pulling your hands back to fix your hair and shirt. “So”, you mumbled, “I hope you atleast slept well?”

Jaemin smiled, seeing your awkward expression. “Like a stone”, he nodded, “why, did I often sleep unwell?” He was suddenly curious, wondering what else you knew about him that he didn’t.

You bit your lip, “actually, you just stayed up late often, working.” Jaemin was a photographer, that he remembered, but everything after one year ago was erased from his memory.

Which was a lot, since he had met you a year ago. You immediately fell for each other the moment his eyes found yours. You met in a park at midnight, both of you in need of a walk and some fresh air.

Somehow you both stopped by a busker that night, Jaemin being attracted by the voice of the singer performing in the almost empty riverside park and you overhearing the words of comfort hiding in his lyrics.

You and Jaemin had talked until the early morning, just sitting by the river. And afterwards you had both left, feeling happy until you realized you hadn’t even exchanged numbers.

Neither of you believed in fate, yet somehow you crossed paths only a week later in Japan. Both volunteering for the same organization. You couldn’t believe your luck, neither did Jaemin.

Jaemin didn’t waste any time after that and asked you out a few days later when you were both back home again. You were young, but every step with Jaemin felt just right.

The car accident happened so fast, leaving Jaemin with bruises and amnesia. And you with a shattered heart.

He was in the hospital for a whole week now and it was so hard to introduce yourself to him again, as if you didn’t date him for a year already. And having Jaemin constantly look at you like he didn’t promise to be with you forever just a week ago.

But as heartbroken as you felt, you saw how much he tried to remember and make you feel comfortable. You couldn’t help but get yourself together aswell, for the sake of Jaemin and your relationship.

“It’s lunch time”, the door to Jaemin’s private room opened, the male nurse walking in, holding a plate of food and putting it down in front of Jaemin.

“Thank you, Jeno”, you smiled, sitting on the edge of Jaemin’s bed. Jaemin looked between you and the male nurse, wondering if you were friends or something.

“There’s some food for you too, y/n”, Jeno smiled back. “Jaemin, enjoy the lunch!” Jeno patted him on the shoulder slightly, before he turned around to leave again.

You moved a bit closer to Jaemin, preparing the food for him and pouring him a glass of water.

“Oh, yummy”, you clapped, eying the food on the yellow tray, “it looks really good.”

Jaemin bit the insides of his cheeks, his eyes on you. “Can- can you help me?”

You stared at him, heart clenching at the sound of his almost helpless voice. “Sure”, you whispered, moving closer once again.

You fed Jaemin in silence for some time, smiling at how much he enjoyed the warm food. “Have some too”, Jaemin suddenly spoke, nudging his head in your direction.

You nodded, taking a bite from the food aswell, not even thinking anything as you ate with the same spoon. “It’s good”, you smiled, covering your full mouth with one hand.

Jaemin chuckled at the sight, “I’m glad.” You continue feeding Jaemin, making sure to also let him have a sip of water in between.

“By the way, the doctor said that maybe you could go home in a few days already. Isn’t that great?” You smiled again, watching carefully not to spill any food.

Jaemin raised his eyebrows at you, swallowing the bite quickly. “Home.. to my family?”

He seemed genuinely confused and you suddenly felt bad, having forgotten for a moment that he didn’t remember everything you shared together.

“We live together. In a small apartment. But I mean if you want to go to your parents’ house instead-“ you shrugged, Jaemin interrupting you quickly.

“No. I want to stay with you.” He nodded, more to himself, eyes staring blankly on the half empty plate in front of him. “Besides, my family’s in Busan. I would have to travel and I don’t want to do that right now.” You only nodded at his words, continuing to eat in silence.

—

On the weekend, the doctors agreed that Jaemin could finally go home. You packed his stuff, while he changed in the bathroom, before the two of you left the hospital, taking a taxi home.

For both you and Jaemin it had been a while since you were last out. Especially Jaemin seemed very careful and almost anxious.

You unlocked the door to your apartment, letting Jaemin go in first. You had asked a friend of yours to come by every couple days to tidy up the space.

Your apartment was small, a bedroom and en suite and a cozy living space. You had no balcony, but access to the rooftop, which was pretty great too.

You were almost a bit frightened, watching Jaemin drop his bag and look around, stopping by the pictures on the bookshelf.

Carefully you approached him, taking a look at the picture in his hands. It was taken in Japan where the two of you met for the second time.

You really liked that picture, both of you doing what you loved the most, helping others. “When was this taken?” Jaemin tilted his head, squinting his eyes a bit as if he tried hard to recall the memories.

“In Japan, a year ago. This was our second time meeting each other”, you explained, Jaemin nodding.

“We met while volunteering?”

You hummed in response, “yeah and we couldn’t believe we had the luck to meet each other again like this.” You couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“Wait, when did we meet the first time then?” Jaemin turned his head to look at you.

“At a park, a couple weeks earlier. We were strangers, but we both stopped to listen to a busker and I don’t know, we were drawn to each other somehow.”

Jaemin smiled a bit, not remembering the feeling, but still knowing what you were talking about. “Kind of romantic that we met again”, he mumbled.

“Yeah”, you giggled, “we stayed there for a few days, helping where we could. We sticked together for the whole time, probably afraid we could lose each other again.”

“And then? Did I ask you out?”

You nodded, meeting Jaemin’s eyes. “Yes, only after we spent a few more nights together. It was kind of cute how quickly you asked me out.”

Jaemin furrowed his brows, “we had a lot to talk about, huh? I mean, is it normal to spend so many nights talking?”

He seemed really confused, but you couldn’t help but laugh, smacking his arm slightly. “I didn’t say we talked”, you added with a cheeky grin.

Jaemin stared at you with wide eyes, suddenly flustered. “Oh”, he only mumbled.

You walked into the kitchen, feeling a bit bad for laughing at him. “Are you hungry, Jaemin? I can make you dinner if you want?”

Jaemin placed the frame back on the shelf, before he walked into the kitchen too, looking around. “I am yes”, he answered, eyes roaming around. “But could I maybe wash up first?”

You turned to face him, standing on the other side of the kitchen island. “Oh my god, sure. Sorry, I hadn’t thought about that.” You scratched your head, feeling a bit awkward.

“It’s fine”, Jaemin bit the inside of his cheeks, “ehm, where was the bathroom again?”

You gestured behind him, “it’s next to the bedroom. You can take a bath if you want. I can cook in the meantime.”

Jaemin nodded. “We have a bathtub?”

“We do”, you smiled, your heart hurting a bit when you remembered how much Jaemin wanted one when you were searching for an apartment together.

“Cool”, Jaemin grinned, “then, I’m gonna take a bath.” He turned around, disappearing in the bathroom. The sound of the water being turned on was heard soon after.

You prepared a simple dinner, consisting of noodles and a salad, while Jaemin washed up. You couldn’t wait to also wash up, rinsing off the smell of the hospital.

“Y/n?”

You turned around, having just poured the sauce over the spaghetti. Jaemin stood in the living room, a towel wrapped around his waist, his wet hair covering his forehead.

“Yes Jaemin?”

“Could you help me with this”, Jaemin held up a fresh bandage, indicating for you to help him with his wounds.

You nodded vigorously, putting the pot in the sink before you walked over to Jaemin, gesturing for him to sit on the bed, since it was more comfortable than the sofa. You kneeled down in front of him.

“I could have done it myself, but-“ Jaemin started. “Don’t worry, I’m happy to help”, you smiled, eyes focused on the bandage he handed you.

You carefully removed the old one from his stomach. The scar underneath looked a lot better already. “I’ll put some ointment on it”, you whispered, one hand moving to hold his waist, to have a steadier hand.

Jaemin hissed at the contact, “your hand is cold.” You looked up to him with apologetic eyes, mumbling a “sorry”.

Jaemin watched you intently, feeling so grateful to have someone by his side. He still wished he could give back the love that he always saw in your eyes.

It really burdened him that he knew barely anything about you or the life you shared.

“I’m sorry”, he suddenly mumbled, not even realizing he had started to cry. “I’m sorry I can’t give you the love you deserve. Or anything at all. I’m sorry that I hurt you so much, I really wish I could remember everything. I really do. I’m just sorry.”

You blinked back tears, your heart clenching at his words. “Dont apologize, Jaemin.” You sat down on the bed, pulling your boyfriend into a hug. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. And you don’t have to be sorry, okay?”

You couldn’t help but also cry, both of you just hugging each other tightly, sharing the same pain. Jaemin pulled back after what seemed like forever, holding your head with both of his hands.

“I’m gonna try my best to be the man you deserve again. I’m gonna go back to be the Jaemin you knew. I’ll try my best”, he promised, thumb brushing over your wet cheek.

You only nodded, overwhelmed by his loving words for you. Jaemin gently placed a kiss on your forehead, drying your tears with his thumb. “It’s gonna be okay”, he whispered, pulling you back into his arms again.

Jaemin’s promise was what gave you hope again. He really tried, learning about himself and you. Trying to be his old self again.

You tried aswell. Feeding him with the information he wanted and being there for him when he needed you.

Nothing could change your love for Jaemin, you felt like it only grew with every day. But you still couldn’t help but wonder if Jaemin even felt the same love for you.

A few days after you had shared these loving words, you and Jaemin sat in bed together. You were reading, while Jaemin looked through albums with pictures he took the past year.

They were mostly of you and the trips you had made together. They were mostly connected with volunteering, which made Jaemin happy. All he ever wanted was everyone around him to be happy.

He found a fairly recent picture, where you two were sitting at lunch. Jaemin couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw himself holding a cigarette.

He gasped, which made you immediately look at him in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I- I smoke?” Jaemin was really shocked about himself. “Am I stupid?”

You wanted to laugh at his cute voice, but you remembered how hard the past few months in your relationship were because he started to change.

“Well you did. Doesen’t mean you still have to”, you shrugged.

Jaemin dropped the album in his lap, turning his head to you. “Any other stupid thing I did that you haven’t told me yet?” His voice got really high in the end, while his eyes only widened.

You bit your lips, a few things coming to your mind. Jaemin’s eyes widened, since it had only been a joke. But you really did seem to have some things to say.

“Actually”, you sighed, putting your book down, “I don’t know why you did all of these things, but at some point you really.. changed. It was only a month ago, when we would start to fight more often. I was really convinced you would leave me, but then-“, you cut yourself off, averting your eyes.

Jaemin tilted his head, “so I was an asshole?”

You looked back at him and couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. “Jaemin”, you smacked his shoulder playfully.

“Only an idiot would do leave someone like you”, Jaemin mumbled, shaking his head at himself.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, “I mean, you’re still here right.”

“And I always will be”, Jaemin smiled, grabbing your hand and giving it a light squeeze.

At this moment it felt as if the Jaemin you had once met at the park at night sat in front of you again. Not the Jaemin he had turned to before he had the accident, but the Jaemin that looked at you as if you were his whole world.

You unconsciously leaned in closer, Jaemin now only inches away. His expression was of a mixture of fear and adoration.

Jaemin didn’t dare to move or lean in closer, he was scared. Scared he would hurt you again. Panicking, he lowered his head, dodging your kiss. “We should sleep, it’s late”, he mumbled, letting go of your hand and lying down.

You watched him with a sad expression, watched how he shut off just like he did back then. And somehow it hurt even more now. Was it because you had crossed a line? Asking something from Jaemin he wasn’t ready for?

Without another word you put your book aside, lying down aswell and hoping that tomorrow was gonna be better.

—

“Jaemin listen”, your sharp voice cut through the noise of the engine, Jaemin sighed as his grip around the steering wheel tightened.

“I don’t want to talk about it, we’ve had this before”, Jaemin answered, seemingly annoyed.

“There you go again, shutting off whenever I want to talk it out”, you shrugged, staring at Jaemin’s side profile as his eyes were focused on the street.

It was night and you were driving home from dinner. It was an evening he had planned out so well once, your one year anniversary. But the plan he had a few weeks ago just didn’t seem right anymore.

“If you can’t accept me the way I am then maybe we should stop it”, Jaemin suddenly spoke out. You couldn’t believe his words, couldn’t believe that your Jaemin was capable of saying something like this so easily.

“No, that’s wrong. Jaemin, you can’t do that.”

Jaemin let out a short laugh. “See? That’s the problem. You won’t let me do anything. To you I’m so perfect. Perfect Jaemin”, he explained with a loud voice. “But I don’t want to be that anymore.”

A tear rolled down your cheek. “So you say you wanna break up, because you can’t bear me trying to help you.”

“Help?” Jaemin took a quick glance at you, his focus quickly going back to the street. “When did you ever help me, huh?”

“What do you mean? I told you to start taking photography seriously. I told you to stop smoking, so many times. And you told me you were thankful. Was that all for nothing? Was it all just a lie?”

Jaemin was silent, his head spinning. You turned away from him. “You’re such a fucking asshole, Na Jaemin. I can’t believe I spent so much time on you. On loving you”, you muttered.

“What did you just say”, Jaemin sounded surprised, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

“Just let me out, for God’s sake”, you shouted. Jaemin stepped on the brake, the car coming to a quick halt.

You were about to unbuckle your seat belt, taking one last look at Jaemin. He was staring at you, as hurt as you. “I- I’m sorry”, you whispered, tears streaming down your face. “I’m sorry for believing we were meant to be.”

Just when something flickered in Jaemin’s eyes, your gaze wandered behind him. It seemed like time had stopped in that moment, when two headlights came closer and closer until they fully illuminated your car.

You and Jaemin looked at each other and then the car hit you.

Jaemin who hadn’t buckled his seatbelt out of anger hit his head several times, unlike you.

Jaemin opened his hand a few times. One time when the ambulance had just arrived and his eyes wandered to your figure that was still in the damaged car.

Another time when they transported him down the hallways of the hospital. Several nurses and doctors shouting and talking.

“Stay with me Mr. Na. Stay with me”, a male voice shouted. Jaemin would always recognize Jeno, the nurse that took care of him the most in those days in the hospital that followed.

And then one time when he was already in his private room in the hospital and you were there beside him, crying. “Jaemin you can’t leave me. Please”, you sobbed, your warm fingers gently trailing along his arm. And that’s when everything went black until he woke up with amnesia.

Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating and I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wondering if it's me you're seeing

Jaemin halted next to the River, listening in on the sweet tunes from the busker nearby. He walked up to the young man, who stood alone in the park at midnight, singing his heart out.

He smiled to himself, the familiar melody warming his heart a little. He looked around, stopping on the figure on the right side of the busker. On you.

In a quick moment your eyes met and something inside Jaemin told him that everything was gonna be alright. All his grey days would become so bright and colorful.

And like that, like the little switch that turned when he saw you for the first time, all his memories came flooding back.

—

Jaemin sat up in bed, breathing heavily and sweating. Startled you turned on the light, moving closer to put one arm around him.

“What’s wrong Jaemin”, you asked concerned, rubbing his back gently to comfort him.

Jaemin’s breath was still shaky. “I had a dream”, he muttered, still trying to calm his beating heart. Jaemin turned to you, his eyes full of love and emotions.

“What”, you asked again, not knowing what was going on. Jaemin smiled, a tear building in the corner of his eye.

“I love you. I love you so much”, he smiled, embracing you tightly. You were still a bit confused from his sudden reaction. “I love you too Jaemin, always will.”

“I’m sorry for doubting we weren’t meant to be”, Jaemin whispered against your neck. You mouth fell open, but Jaemin didn’t let go off you, only hugging you tighter.

“Jaemin”, you whispered, at loss of words.

“I remember, I remember it all”, he cried, moving back so he could look at your eyes. “I love you so much and I wanna thank you for sticking with me for so long. For not giving up on me”, Jaemin confessed, feeling absolutely overwhelmed.

You didn’t know whether to cry or smile, your heart felt like it healed again. “I missed you so much Jaemin.”

Jaemin held you against his chest again, gently stroking your back like he always did whenever you were sad. He was back, your Jaemin was finally back.

“I’m not gonna leave you ever again, I promise”, Jaemin softly spoke, planting a kiss on top of your head.

“I know.”

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a/n: this one has been in my draft for ages.. and finally I finished it hehe :3 I hope you enjoy it and I also wish you a nice weekend! Btw I’m also working on all the requests ;)

#nct #nct jaemin #na jaemin fluff #na jaemin x you #na jaemin x reader #na jaemin #na jaemin angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct u #nct dream #nct fluff #nct angst #jaemin #jaemin angst #jaemin oneshot #jaemin x reader #jaemin fluff

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years

Note

prompt 1 with older brothers best friends!harry 👀

1. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

8. “I said stop staring at me.”

23. “I have a name and it’s not sweetheart.”

Third wheeling could never be fun. Not when you’re basically not even a wheel but an invisible person on a vacation watching couples kiss and yada yada.

“For fuck's sake.” Y/N grumbles changing a side snatching the blanket that got stuck under her and sandwiches her face into a pillow when she hears the steel roof atop her creak furiously accompanied by high pitched obnoxious moans.

Y/N's brother brought her along to their Italy trip, his wife’s bestfriend and his own bestfriend tagged along too leaving only Y/N to grump about their wild sex rendezvous.

She’s sleepless, homesick and probably about to get a stomach bug for living in yacht for four days atleast!

What’s so fun about jiggling in your sleep? None perhaps and the waves crashing at night that threatens you to swallow you down to the pit of ocean --- my pal, nothing is entertaining about it. Atleast for Y/N. She’s more of a hill station going person with her pup Frankenstein that oogles out from his small globe like window, comfy in his lil bag that Y/N moves around on her shoulders everywhere.

When the fracas of whatever’s taking place up doesn’t comes to halt, Y/N had enough, she isn’t very versed in coping with such situations since her dorm-mate is very nice.

So, she’s throwing the lid away to pop her head through the square like space and spreads her elbows up the roof, “Aish.” She immediately covers her eyes upon the sight of his brother and his wife doing it.

Their expressions comically panicked as they embarrassingly scrambles to clutch the flimsy sheets over them.

“Who does it all naked under an open sky?” She squeaks out, feeling her pulse tick and she peeks out towards the darkness from the slight gap of her fingers which are barely helping her avoid the scene that’d haunt her for life.

“Them bunnies and monkeys, ‘n many of our kind, Sweetheart.” She rolls her eyes at the familiarity of deep slow rumble that’s a bit slurred, probably from the Tequila they took with them. The voice never fails to froth bubbles in Y/N's tummy and it always involuntarily makes her nails dig into her palms.

Harry and Tina’s bestfriend went out to roam around Italy, or they told so and Albeit Y/N very well knows their intentions were more to exploring the city she didn’t butt in.

“I’ve a name and it’s not, Sweetheart.” She dismisses him with a grumble and his smirk shines through the shadow aggravating Y/N to an extreme she slips down shutting the door (like lid) at the them.

Harry Styles. Y/N's brother’s bestfriend. He’s everything Y/N loathes about. Bright green eyes, silken features and that dopey pearlish smile that makes everyone fall in love with him in nano-seconds.

To Y/N. He is an incubus. A witch that allures people without even knowing.

He’s a narcissistic asshole and Y/N's bad boy dream, unfortunately.

She hates herself for having a puppy crush on him for years now.

That friggin, Asshole.

He’s with everyone but her. It seems as if he’s getting stung by bees upon the mere closeness between them. A lamb ready to bite her down his stomach if she steps a foot near him.

At the moment when she’s sitting with her knees pressed to her chest, swollen eyes and puffy lips from not getting sleep last night.

She’s really hating that Harry looks so hot from the swim he just took as he dries himself sitting opposite to her. The droplets twinkling on his tanned thick body, his trunks wrinkled and bunched up into his thighs baring the tiger tattoo on front, his hair wet and oh so fucking tug-able – Y/N feels like Rachel from friends thinking all of that.

“Stop staring,” She mutters out loud when he wouldn’t stop licking the saltiness from his pink bottom lip keeping his intense gaze on her.

“What did y'say?” He pretends that we too engulfed in something else.

“I said stop staring at me.” Y/N grits. It’s annoying because it’s making her belly feel funny and loopy.

“The hills behind y'are just s'admirable.” He elevates his shoulders a bit panicked from inside and Y/N forced herself to not to twitch her eye when his chest muscles flexes due to his action.

Bamboozled she takes a glance from her shoulder to where he diverted his sight once she caught him. Her nose scrunched up and chin butted in disgust at the scenery, “That’s literally a heap of dead fishes!”

“Better than starin’ into a dead soul.” His lips down turned into a careless grimace and Y/N gasps out loud pushing the strands of her hair sticking to all of her face because of the breeze gush, “Why would you say that!?”

“’Cos you’re so mauve, that’s why?” He just wants to take a piss out of her. Nobody’s around and he’s finally getting time to talk to her even if it just to sit cross legged on her nerves and sip tea.

He’s actually lying. He thinks she’s more than mauve. She’s all those colours that usually macarons have, all those hues that butterflies wings have and all those tinctures that one find in gems then keep them safe.

She’s the colour he misses in his life.

“And you’re so fucking blue!” She grumbles and that slithered a deep wicked smile on Harry’s lips, “Like this deep ocean yer afraid of?” Her eyes widens at that and she almost lunges on her knees.

How did he know? Ofcourse, he'd. He’s everywhere. In every damn picture of wherever they went for recreation.

“I’m not.” She scoffs, her tone inconvenient and hazy as she shrinks into herself.

“Then take a dip,” She wishes that she could wipe that beautiful stupid smirk off his gorgeous stupidly lame face.

“Kiss my ass.” She spat out throwing a cushion towards him that lands on his lap, “I’d love to.” He barks out a laugh that rings through the waves.

“You’re such a stinky asshole.” She hits him with another that dumps against his chest, “Ow!” He feigns hurt with ridiculous comical expressions and throws the cushion back towards her which she successfully dodges, but, it falls behind her into the water.

“Shit.” She complains ducking around the edge of the yacht and stretches her arm to the plausible extent to grab the floating cushion.

Though when the tips of her toes leaves the seat she was on and she’s bending too much for her own sake Harry’s standing upright, “Hey stop —-" But. It’s too late as with a high pitched squeaky shriek Y/N's rolling first and falling into the water leaving Harry frozen for a second.

Panic chokes her throat and she moves her limbs around everywhere splashing water vigorously. Mouth gasping for oxygen but all that comes is salty water filling her mouth and lungs too, maybe as she sinks deeper and deeper.

“Fuck, Y/N!!” He shouts out jumping to save her immediately knowing she doesn’t know how to swim and he’s wrapping his palm around her neck and pulling her from her waist to himself under the water as she watches him with frightened fading eyes.

He comes back to surface quickly and presses her to his chest. She too clings to him for dear life feeling herself drift into a state of unconsciousness and hard to breath while he grabs the deck and lifts her with himself to it.

He doesn’t risk a chance and lays her limp body down and clasps his hands together pushing them against where her heat beats feebly, winces when she spurts out water painfully.

“Baby...fuck.” He pats her soaked pale cheek anxiously when she still remains unresponsive to him, breathing wearily so he does what has to be done.

He grabbed her chin, squished her cheeks making her lips pucker out and wrapped his mouth around hers sucking the water out and spat it out once his mouth was full.

His eyes slip shuts and he slumps with relief when Y/N coughs out loudly into his chest and he brings her into him murmuring assurance into her wet hair.

“You’re okay darling,” His whisper wavers from the trembling of his lips and his fingers divots into her softest of skin when he hugs her tightly, “’M sorry ‘s me fault, Sweets.” He rubs the bridge of his nose to take the sniff of her scent to calm him down and she shakes her head unable to talk, hands bunched up against his tummy.

“You should rest, yeah?” His gaze soft with care and it’s baffling for Y/N that he ever had this side too. Before, she could be on her feet he slipped his strong arms under her and hoists her up and into him without any trouble.

If Y/N wouldn’t be feeling very droopy and breathless she sure would have fought with him, maybe blushed and hid her face into his neck but she’s already knocking out in his arms from the stingy feeling in her eyes that made her super duper sleepy.

Clouds. Y/N's merged into them and they cover every inch of Y/N, wait where am I? She feels real nice comforted around with such warm bedding and she sure knows it’s not hers. The blurry sight infront of her is enough to aware her and a perfectly calloused hand comes rubbing her shoulder when she tries to sit up.

“Not heaven, o'summat.” He chuckles airily. His smile small and a tad awkward, he’s changed into another pair of trunks that are yellow and his upper half now sadly is covered from a blue tee.

“How you feelin'?” Y/N let his question fly over her head and stutters out loudly, “Why you being s'nice to me now?” It etches a frown on his face but soon it vanishes into an expression that Y/N couldn’t pick point.

“You’ve always been such a meanie...” She murmurs glumly. White sheets tangling around her torso as she moves infront of him – their knees touching.

“I umm –-...like you, I guess?” He has never been this nervous and jumblish with words.

“You guess?” She asks and scared that he missed up he rushes out to hold her and to make her believe that his feelings are true.

“No, no! I’m sure. I like you very much.” That puts Y/N into silence where she stares the gleaming jewels onto his fingers and ponders over what he said.

Harry Styles. Her first kiss. Her very first candy love crush and her dream of bad boy actually likes her back.

She tries to ignore the party poppers going inside her body and the drums of happiness rolling around her heart.

“But ... Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy,” She doesn’t meet his eyes smoothing out the crinkles of sheets and her palm halts immediately when Harry hooks his thumb under her chin and raises it gaze lovingly into her eyes with sincerity, “Just ‘cos I stole yer first kiss?”

He laughs out sweetly when she bobs her head vigorously, “C’mon we were just sixteen! I’d have made sure to tell y'to keep it safe fo’ your precious person if I knew back then.” His pupils gleaming with hope and a tinge of eagerness.

The next thing she said with a slight bubbly pout caught Harry off-guard and in awe that how to process what she said with so much liability and vulnerability.

“But you’re my precious person!!”

“Yeah, baby?” He grins with a dimple tutting in and grabs her small cold hands to pull her closer to him.

The sweet name shies Y/N away and Harry thinks she couldn’t be more endearing as he takes her soft looking puffy face in the warm embrace of his hands and bops their noses together.

“Then g’na make sure ‘m your last.” He murmurs feathering his lips to the corner of her mouth that flutters her eyelids like butterflies and she pants out for more with a sweet whine, “Shit. You’re still very candy like since I last kissed ye'.” He giggles stroking his thumb up her cheek and takes a lick of her jutted bottom lip.

“Harry....” She complains tugging his weary shirt, “Yes me baby?” He quips out with those fake surprised eyes he makes with raised brows and puppy gaze.

“Kiss me alre –—,” He's swallowing her words down with the tender smush of his lips against hers in a kiss that’s slow and comforting at first, hearing onto the noises that she creates from tasting him and it deepens into something ardent and red when Harry pulls her over his thighs and guides her arms around his neck.

Their foreheads comes touching. Their hearts in sync and beside eachother. Their tongues loving on eachother.

“Dunno if I could ever stop.” He whispers breaking the knot of spit that connects their mouths with the stroke of his thumb against her shinning lip and pecks that spot twice.

“Then don’t.” Y/N looses her brain cells and only butterflies to whoosh into her skull as she grabs his jaw never letting him go and kisses him harder and rougher this time.

She’s gonna be in oh so much love with this bad boy that’s such a softie for her and she knows that there’s no going back.

#IMMMMMM BACKKKK FINALLYYY #PLEASEEEEE FORGIVE ME MY READ MORE THINGY IS NOT WORKING #BAD BOIII HARRYYYY #harry styles smut #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles prompts #cute harry #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #fluff #harry angst #hsh #dom harry

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arcadejohn127-9 · 3 years

Note

Hi! This is my first time requesting so I dont know if this is correct but headcanons of the brothers if the MC asks if they have eaten human meat before?? You can ignore this if your uncomfortable with this, have a great day! :))

I only don't write certain triggering things like sewerslide, self ouchie and forced devils tango - I know these are very non serious ways to censor these sensative topics but I would like to avoid triggering anyone

I know some people just shut down just by hearing it or seeing the word and it's really unfortunate

So yes, I'll take your request!

Warning: food, blood, gore-ish?, eating, teeth, human consumption, hallucinations and angst

It was dinner; you were having a fatty steak with garlic bread and a creamy seasoned sauce that the meat was cooked in and chewy dough balls filled cheese. The brothers wanted a meat dish and it was your turn to cook so you got human world ingredients to give everyone what they wanted.

You weren't sure what was eating at you. For the past few days stress as been at an all time high! You've become irrationality emotional to every situation which didn't help as you were experiencing mini hallucinations and continuous tricks on the eyes.

You hoped cooking and getting your mind off whatever was happening around you would help but it seems to be a futile attempt.

You set the table, making sure to add extra vegetables for asmo and levi. As soon as dinner was announced all the boys came trampling through the halls to reach the table first, Beel beating them by already being at the door. He was waiting there feeling himself drool whilst you cooked. Once everyone was seated you smiled, taking your seat and began to eat.

Your appitete diminished the more you chew. Finding it to be unfufilling. Your stomach felt like a void and the food only made that feeling more present. You poked at your food with a growing frown.

You heard a fleshy squelch.your eyes flickering up to see Satan; his sharp teeth sinking into the steak. He easily ripped it apart letting any sauce from the meat drip down his chin. For most of the demons it was medium rare; blood mixing in with the sauce. You could still see pink on the inside. When he bit into it it looked so soft with left over blood forming at the bite.

It was so fleshy. For a moment the steak slice turned into an arm. Just a slice of human flesh; his fangs ripping into it as if it was nothing. Apart of your arm ached just from the sight.

You shook your head, rapidly blinking. You hesitantly looked back up and it faded back to normal. These kind of hallucinations were popping up more often; you were terrified. It was putting you off food because you couldn't stop seeing it as something disgusting.

Asmo raised his voice, a sound of a knife stabbing down on a plate following it. You looked to see he stabbed the space between Beels fingers as he tried to steal a dough ball. But that didn't stop him, curling a finger around it and quickly detracted his hand. His brother huffed chomping down his vegetables.

Your eyes couldn't leave Beels figure; it was as if you had to see what he was doing.

Once again your eyes focused on the teeth. Beels fangs were the biggest out of Everyone meanwhile Satan's were long and thin. Levi's teeth reminded you of a shark. Mammons were like a cat with the focus on his top fangs. Asmo's teeth were the most human, reminding you of a vampire. Lucifers teeth were like Satan's but not as long. Belphegor was similar to his twin brother.

Your tongue poked along your smooth teeth. A few bumps here and there and the little prick from your canines. It was nothing compared to them.

Time seemed to freeze as his teeth sank into the ball. It squished with the juices from the cheese and the sauce forming on the flesh- flesh? It wasn't flesh. No it was dough. You held back a scream when you saw an eye replace the dough ball. You immediately snapped away your gaze.

"(Y/N), You haven't been eating."

All of them looked at you. Noticing how little was eaten on your plate. You could see the concern on their faces but your brain slowed. The words leaving your mouth before you even realized it.

"Have any of you eaten a human before?"

The air became thick. It made you choke, a knot forming in your throat as you stared at your plate. Waiting for their answer. Hoping they'll answer. Why aren't they saying anything?!

"That's an unpleasant question, what's prompted this?"

You wanted to say you weren't sure but then memories flashed before your eyes. The threats you've gotten from Beel, asmo telling you're delicious after nipping your skin, mammons stomach suddenly growling after hiding his head in your skin. This what has been bothering you.

You were frightened - no terrified you were going to end up on this table. Striped and ready on a silver platter for them to dig in. Would they do it whilst your alive? Desiring to feel you squirm between their teeth or would they be merciful? Killing and cooking you. A Morbid part of you wished they made you into a good meal if they did that; to not let your body go to waste and mean nothing other than something to tear into.

You felt sick. Your stomach churning the more you thought but you couldn't shut off your brain.

"Just.....curious, you're demons afterall so I thought it would make sense."

All of them were uncomfortable. They knew what they've done in the past and some in the more recent times. But what is recent and past to beings who've forgotten time? Where procrastination could last centuries and no one would bat an eye. What was hundreds years for humans could feel like a week to them.

"I'm going to tell them-" Belphie piped in but immediately got shut down by his brothers.

"don't ya dare even utter another word, you can't frighten them like this-!"

"Are you crazy?! They're never going to want to be around me again!"

"Don't be disgusting, this shouldn't even be a topic we talk about right now!"

"Keep your damn mouth shut."

"You'll frighten them, they already look unwell."

"That's enough, all of you, you're not doing anything to soothe-"

"Would you eat me?!" You suddenly stood up, looking at all of them with an expression of fear and determination.

They just stared at you absolutely stunned by your question.

"No way! We wouldn't do such a thing to you! We care too much about ya to do something like!"

"so if I didn't mean anything would you eat me? Atleast give me some comfort and tell me you'd kill me before you did it-!"

But none of them could give you that comfort. They knew they eat it with their prey still crying and thrashing for their lives.

"You don't need to worry about such a thing, you're going to experience no harm from us or anyone in the Devildom, we've made sure of it."

You shook your head. "Just answer my questions! If you're innocent then you'll just be able to say no! So do it! Say no!"

"We've all eaten a human but since the exchange program was planned we were banned from doing it - we've lost the taste for human flesh or... atleast I have."

His eyes skimmed over his brothers faces, lingering on the ones he knows still hunger for it.

"I think I need to take a break from here....…just need to get away-"

Your voice trailed off, your vision becoming fuzzy. Their faces contorted and stretched into monstrous beings. You stumbled back before your eyes rolled back, your body falling to the floor.

"(Y/N)-!!!"

When you finally woke up you weren't in the house of lamentation. Simeon crouched beside you, placing a damp towel on your cheek. You whined at the cold feeling; it made your burning skin sting.

you weren't sure how or when you got here. The angel helped you slowly lay down, caressing your skin.

"It's okay, Solomon will be back soon, Diavolo said it'll be best you go back home for a little while, don't worry I'll be sure to visit."

You nodded, your head feeling like a sack of bricks balancing on your neck. You let your eyes close as Simon kept brushing the towel on your exposed skin. Humming an unfamiliar tune.

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kittehkwrites-backup · 3 years

Text

Like I Want You

“Sometimes I wish you knew”- GIVEON, 'LIKE I WANT YOU'(2019)

Summary: Trevante has had feelings for you since you guys started hanging out practically every weekend. He always choked up when he wanted to express his feelings to you and he didn't know how much more he could take of you basically forgetting about him to hang out with some new guy.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, college!Trevante and cluelessness from reader and Trevante.

This bout to be a long one.🥴🥴

Sometimes I wish you knew But I disguise the truth

Trevante watched you from across the booth as the dude that came over with his group of lackeys to smooth talk you into giving his number.

The way he watched as the guy managed to get a google from you made him turn his head down and focus on his drink in front of him. Playing with the straw and moving the ice around as if it was the most interesting thing in the word in hopes of distracting himself from telling the dude to leave but then you’d be mad at him since you looked so happy.

“You ok T?” You asked noticing his silence after the guy, whose name was Jordan, managed to lodge himself closer to you and convinced you to handover your number.

“Yea I’m good. I was just gonna get a refill. Y’all want anything” he said placing a small smile on his face, as he addressed your group of friends, mainly.

I say I'm happy but I'm still stuck on us, mm-mm-mm

“We good homie.” The lame said from next you. Answering for you as you fixed your mouth to say you’d go along with your friend. He didn’t know why that annoyed him but the fact that he got called “homie” by a punk like him made him turn up his face.

Your friends caught it before you did, letting out little laughs at his face. He quickly masked it, turning around to head to the counter at the game themed restaurant.

He heard you laughing again and his shoulders tensed knowing that you weren’t laughing at him anymore and he was just in the background like usual because of his timid ness to even say anything to you.

He thought about the times when he was so sure that you had feelings for him but he couldn’t detect any feelings whenever he heard about someone else making the moves he wanted to make on you.

Hands in his pocket, he heard the person behind the counter call next and placed his refill order whilst he tried to not let the dark feeling of you eventually leaving him behind for someone else before he even got the chance to confess how he felt.

Does your mind play this game too? Think 'bout me and you

It wasn’t like you could know how he felt but it shouldn't have been so hard for you to see the way he’d treat you versus the other women in your friendship group. You just decided to pass it off as him compensating for the time away from each other or him not wanting to make you feel like an add on in the somewhat paired off meet ups you all partook in every so often.

I guess I'll just pretend until it all makes sense, hm-mm-hm, hmm-hmm There would be times that he would go days without talking to you because of studies or to recharge his social battery but he always made sure to text you to let you know he was alright or else he’d be on the receiving end of your annoyance once he’d see you again.

That’s what did it for him.

You cared like know one else did. Yea you said that you did it with everyone but it wasn’t the same as him. If he needed you or you need him then guess where each of you would be?

He couldn’t let that go and he wanted to make sure that you felt that same sense of stability in your bondings.

He’d just pretend that it didn’t matter when those check ins became less and less over the coming weeks, chalking it up to the impending term assessments and shows.

See you face to face, I'm thinking 'bout the days we used to be

He noticed, along with your friends, that you weren’t making it to the study groups you’d all have. You weren’t coming to as many of the chill meet ups either and it was starting to bother them so they asked if he heard from you much these days either.

It hadn’t been until your art show that you noticed how distant you were being and you gave your friends an apology.

Promised to come to the next night out when they planned it. They were happy with that response, silencing their quails but he couldn’t help but notice the way you’d stare at your phone when a new notification came in and your smile would slim ever so slightly.

But I can't make a scene, but I can't make it seem He saw it happen again as they came to show their support to your art display and brought as many people out to show their love for your work and the many others who had their works showing in the showroom.

He watched as you’d walk around and talk to the people who wanted to know about your choices in your work.

He’d see how you went from talking and smiling. Glowing. That’s it. You were glowing, beaming with happiness and the positive response to your work that you spent so much time on and everyone was feeding off of that energy you possessed.

He noticed how the glow dimmed once the lame from weeks past made his way over to you and looking at your works before shrugging his shoulders and his mouth moving before you tried covering the hurt by nodding your head and looking around the room until you spotted him and let a smile out before excising yourself from the dark eyes peering down on you by the dude

Tre couldn’t bother to remember his name much less learn it the initial time he crossed paths with him and his lames at the restaurant. He just watch as you approached him with a brighter smile on your face and that light coming back once you reached over to him.

Like I want you

She has the most beautiful smile and the way she gets jittery when she’s talking about something she’s passionate about? That shits so cute. He thought, nodding along to the way you explained why you decided to use certain materials over others and how you were able to get some materials because you knew someone who had managed to offer you some additional supplies.

He knew it was because you were just that charming and inviting once you let that smile grace your face.

It’s what got him to come over to you on the first day of the college semester from years past.

“So what do you think?” You asked. Your beautiful eyes locked in on his face, watching for any signs of disgust or annoyance at your long winded rant.

He got lost in your features before gazing in your eyes and smiled at you. “It’s beautiful Princess. You did a fantastic job and I’m proud of you.” He said draping his arm over your shoulders and pulling you into a warm hug that you needed and couldn’t help but melt into.

“Thanks T. means a lot” he tightened his hold on you once he felt you weren’t letting go anytime soon, thinking about how he wanted you to be his but had to back off until he felt there was a sign to tell you.

Even if it's true

A table set for two

You both agreed to have a chill movie night at his place off campus, but you hadn’t responded to his texts a few hours before hand when he was checking if you were still on for tonight.

You got me waitin' but you ain't comin' through

He tried calling and each time it went to voicemail.

Try to stay patient but gotta face the truth, mm-mm-mm

He was trying to keep up his positive attitude and thought you just got caught up at the studio and you’d be over soon.

But when the clock hit 11:00, he packed up the snacks his took out and the blankets for when you got cold.

He sent you a text saying goodnight and made the slow trek back to his lonely room after turning off the lights and making sure that he locked up everything.

He heard the chime of his phone from a text from you with the one word, ‘Sorry.’ in the text bubble.

He wanted to be angry but he put that on himself when he thought that you’d make the time for each other when you told him about the loser taking you out and making it up to you for his behaviour at your show when your friend asked what happened over lunch during the week.

He picked up his phone to respond but responded with the ‘👌🏾’ emoji. Turning off his phone for the night, he tried to get some sleep but he couldn’t achieve that until the hours of early morning.

But I can't make a scene, but I can't make it seem

Why is it so hard to figure out?

Trevante tried to find out what happened the following days only to be met with radio silence on your end.

He did get how you could go from making plans to ghosting him. It just didn't make any sense. So when your friends all agreed to meet up for a games night at their house, you couldn't help but make it your mission to go once he saw your name and emoji in the groupchat when it all went down.

If she thinks this can run, boy does she have another thing coming. He thought as he placed his phone down and focused on completing his reading for class later on in the week.

I need you every day, believe me when I say it

The day to meet up approached a lot slower than he thought. or atleasts that's how it seemed to him as he stood outside of your mutual friends, Cameron and Danielle, place where the gathering was taking place.

"Hey man!" Came the booming voice of his fellow athlete. Embracing eachother in a dap and massive grins on their faces at seeing eachother after so long outside of training due to overlapping schedules.

"Hey what's good? Y'all already start? Im sorry for getting here so late. Got caught up at the library and had to make a stop at mine for this" Trevante quickly rattled out before holding a fantastic sized bottle of alcohol for the night's consumption.

"Aye! That's what i like to see." Cameron said taking the bottle in and moving out of the doorway to let trevante in.

He placed the bottle on the island as they both walked in and he waited for trevante to put his jacket on the hook by the door before continuing to lead him into the living space which would be the main area for the activities whilst stopping short to speak up to his friend.

'Aye, Tre. Just a heads up but Y/N's here and i know you said you guys havent spoke in a couple weeks bu-

"Nah its good Cam. Don't worry about it alright? I was just being sensitive when i brought it up. I mean it aint like she's my girl" Trevante said letting out a forced chuckle that went unnoticed by Cameron as their other friends called for them to enter the room to start the games.

Lke I want you

There you were and there he was.

He tried to play it off the whole night but he, along with your other friends, could feel the tension in the air as the only seat left was across from you.

He'd look at you and turn away before you looked up at him and turned away.

It was a vicious cycle and your friends noticed but the both of you were obvious to the actions of the other because you both didn't know how to come out and say that you wanted to talk to the other.

That is until a game of truth, dare or drink began and it forced out some revelations and confessions from the other.

The boisterous group of friends were getting rowdy at the secrets being let out and the ridiculous dares people were able to think of and dash out.

So far Tre and you were given simple enough truths and somewhat weak dares.

‘What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you?’

‘What’s the weirdest sex story you have?’

‘I dare you to go skinny dipping the next time we go to an away game’ That one got a drink cause Tre knew for a fact that he wasn’t going to embarrass himself if they got caught cause of the nosey people in the hotels.

“All right. All right! Now y’all are bout to be getting some serious shit” Came from Stacey, the social butterfly and peace-maker of the group.

“Yea. We been takin it easy on y’all.” Jacob added on. He was a chill guy but he could get into some mess if he wanted and manage to charm himself out of it.

“We ain’t tell y’all to do that though...But carry on.” Tre responded as he managed to speak over his read solo cup. A cocky smirk on his face and it made the girl across from him clench her thighs together at the way he replied.

It’s definitely the drinks. You said to yourself trying to pass it off but the buss you were feeling as well had you biting your lip at his every move or remark when it was his turn.

Or the way he would have that wide smile on his face before releasing his contagious laugh.

Damn him. You thought before your friends managed to pull you out of your thoughts and letting you know it’s your turn.

“So truth or dare Bunny Boo” You couldn’t help but laugh and roll your eyes at the nickname you got from your childhood friend that stuck with you to now.

”Truth” You said and giggled at her eye roll before hearing a ‘boo’ coming from around you.”Oh hush and ask me something” You said and laughed as they laughed at the look on your face.

Stacey watched as tre looked over to you before slightly stirring the liquid inside of his cup. She looked around and saw how the others looked at her to get the ball rolling you guys situation.

She cleared her throat. “ Tell us why you haven’t messaged tre in ages.” She said before fixing up on her position on the floor to lean closer to your sitting position on the couch.

”Uh-” You got caught off guard that this was what she asked.

”Hey it’s honestly fine guys. Leave it” You turned to Tre but he wasn’t looking at you, just at them and it made you deflate.

He couldn’t believe that they were basically starting the conversation for him but he didn’t want you to feel attacked. He knew what he was doing was gonna be seen as weak by his friends later but he didn’t want you to leave in a bad mood.

“Man. Y’all over there not talking and being awkward. This ain’t like you both and it’s freaking all of us out!” dragged Jordan once he rubbed his hands down his face and looked as if he was pleading.

“Speak or forever hold your peace girl but just know, you guys are always going to be around eachother so whatever the hell it is that happened, it needs to be talked about and it needs to be talked about now.” Stacey said and was met with agreement from your other buzzed friends.

“Uh-” You still didn’t know what to say and he wanted to know but he didn’t want you to be forced or so scared that you’d pass out, which is how you looked in that moment.

“Just go out back and talk. We just want to you guys to kiss and makeup already. This whole quiet game that’s going on between you isn’t normal.” Suggested your friends in a softer tone instead of the pleading tone used earlier.

You both choked at the mention of kissing and by the end of your friends spiel, you both looked at each other before Trevante got up and came over to your side and waited for you to make the move to the back after having watched you have an internal debate.

As you stood, you took a massive gulp and lead the way out.

It was quiet for a while before he spoke up.

“So what’s been going on girl?” He had that smile on his face and you couldn’t help but feel like shit for not messaging him at least once just to check up on him or let him know you were ok.

You looked at him. “what?” He asked. Chuckling and rubbing around his face before asking if something was there since you were looking so hard.

“ why aren’t you mad?” You asked looking at his face turn down.

“What do you mean? Why would I be mad?” He asked. He wasn’t sure what you thought of him but he couldn’t see himself being mad at you.

“I mean that you haven’t heard from me in how long, but here you are...” As you spoke, your voice threatened to crack that you cleared your throat after leaving it open.

“Here I am”

“Just being your usual great self huh?”

“Well I wouldn’t say great” he dragged off which caused you to laugh as he shrugged his shoulders playfully as he smiled after getting you to relax.

After a moment of some silence, you decided to finally say what happend. You didn’t want to keep much back from him any longer for your sanity and his unvoiced search for answers.

“I was scared.”- You started off, scaring him at the way you said it-”Scared that i’d do something that i had no business doing and i didn’t want to mess up our friendship.” You continued meekly under his dark eyes.

He wasn’t expecting to hear that but he needed to know and he was going to make you explain yourself, even if it meant he had to make you feel guilty to get a proper answer.

“You kind of messed that up when you ghosted me for weeks. You know i wouldn’t do some shit like that to you, Princess” You had been surprised he still called you by your nickname and not said your first name.

“so why the hell did you do it exactly?” He said his voice void of any lightness. Instead it was the tone he used when he was absolutely serious. That stern baritone mixed with his southern twang always did something to you and the countless other girls who decided to make it known about their attraction to him.

“I know you wouldn’t T. And that makes me feel even shittier because i’m sure if I had just told you what was scaring me, then we could’ve said our peace but at least hangout” He turned to you as you rambled.

“Tell me what it is because you’re tiptoeing and referring to whatever as ‘it’. What is ‘it’?

You looked up at him in that moment. The way the soft light from the small lights outside dusted over his dark features and the way his jaw clenched as he waited patiently for you made you consider doing what you wanted to those many nights ago when you were supposed to be at his for movie night.

Time to put on your big girl panties. You thought, deeply inhaling and straightening your back, bracing yourself for the impending rejection.

“I-I like you Tre. I like you so much that i got scared that if we were alone that I would make a complete fool of myself by developing stronger feels for someone that probably doesn’t feel the same about me.” He wanted to interrupt but you stopped him. -”Let me finish, please.”- You said and watched as he gulped.

“I mean, I know we would flirt playfully but i couldn’t kid myself any more by keeping up with whatever dynamic that we had going on. You know what I mean? I wasn’t trying to get caught up with my stupid feelings for you so i let that idiot take me out a few times, one of those times being the same night as our movie night but i thought that i could get over what i was feeling by going to someone else, which i know is wrong but i just didn’t know how to deal with being so close to you feeling the way I feel.”

He sat silently. You watched on edge as he breathed in.

“So you’re saying that you were scared of being rejected? By me?” He wanted to laugh at the stupidity that was you two but he forgot you had no clue like he had and you chose to run away whilst he chose to run towards.

He hadn’t realised he let out a snort and you wanted to die on the spot from embarrassment.

“See this is what i was afraid of.” - You sniffled- “I mean you’re an attractive guy with option and I noticed how you would tense up when I’m around or when we hug and it’s not until I crack a joke that you relax and it’s just stupid of me to think that you like me when you’re so nice to me, probably out of pity-” You quickly fired out at him.

Like I want you

He caught you off by grabbing your chin and pulling your lips to his as he sweetly attacked your lips before releasing his hold on your chin. That left you stunned and you couldn’t help but stutter out a ‘what the hell’ then looked at him.

Now was a better chance than ever. You just kissed her so surely it’d add up. He thought

“I have something to tell you.” He said.

Even if it's true

——————————————————————————

[ Updated 20th Feb. 2021 ]

Read the continuation, Streets

Hey y’all

What’d you think?🙂

Also I’ve literally just started watching LoveCraft County and let’s just say I have a new obsession and that will be noticed heavily in my next few imagines🥴

Don’t forget to share, like and/or leave a comment and let me know what you think. <3

Love y’all. Stay safe and remember to take time for yourself.

-K💜

#black reader #black!reader #imagine #kittehkwrites #trevante rhodes #trevante rhodes x reader #lyric prompts

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sophiashortcake · 4 years

Text

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

previous ❀ next ❀ series masterlist

𝟐𝟒. it’s always been you

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

Your eyes still sting when you wake up.

You had no idea how long you had been asleep, but it must’ve not been for very long since it was still dark outside. You heard Yachi softly snoring next to you on the futon, and Kiyoko’s light breathing from her bed. You rubbed your still puffy eyes as you felt around for your phone, turning it on to see the time.

3:15am

89 missed calls from Oikawa Tooru.

72 missed calls from Tsukishima Kei.

632 unread texts.

You underestimated the wave of notifications that would sweep your phone after the party, so you had decided to just turn it off altogether, too distraught from tonight’s events to even manage to look at your phone.

The texts were from friends and strangers alike, some asking you how you were, some wanting more information about what happened. You spent the next few minutes deleting any unwanted texts, and more importantly ignoring the texts and calls from Kei and Tooru.

Your heart clenched whenever your eyes skimmed over your notifications and you spotted Kei and Tooru’s names. Your head was still foggy with exhaustion from sobbing earlier that you couldn’t even begin to describe the betrayal you felt with Oikawa, and not to mention whatever the hell you felt for Kei.

You rubbed your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from resurfacing, only to wipe away stray mascara still clinging to your eyes. Great, you forgot to wash off your makeup too.

You quietly rolled off the futon, quietly creeping to the bathroom making sure not to wake up Yachi and Kiyoko.

As you entered the bathroom, you were greeted by your reflection in the mirror. Your face was puffy from crying with your eyes still rimmed red. Half of your makeup was cried off, the rest smeared across your face. You looked as much of a wreck as you felt.

You scavenged around Kiyoko’s bathroom for some makeup wipes and face wash, thankfully finding some in the cabinet. You spent the next few minutes cleaning yourself up to a presentable state.

You splashed water on your face, the cool water relieving your eyes. You looked back up at yourself, glad that you atleast didn’t look like a mess now (physically anyway, emotionally was another issue). You exhaled in relief, and got yourself ready to climb back into bed.

Then your phone buzzed, Oikawa’s caller ID flashing on your screen.

Your hand paused on the bathroom doorknob, trying to subside any urge to pick up and answer the call. Do not answer, do not answer, you repeated in your head, hoping the mantra stuck.

You knew you shouldn’t answer. But how couldn’t you?

With a shaky hand, you picked up.

“Y/N, oh thank god-“ Oikawa said shakily into the phone, you could tell he had been crying.

“What do you want?” You muttered softly, as to not wake your friends in the other room, but more so you couldn’t bring yourself to speak strongly.

“Can we talk? Please? I need to explain.”

“Fine, you have two minutes.”

“No, no, I want to explain myself in person.”

“Tooru, it’s 3am.”

“Y/N, please.”

You paused. What possible explanation could Oikawa give you? I’m sorry I ruined your reputation numerous times? I’m sorry I nearly ruined your relationship with Kei? I’m sorry I lied to you for months? But the only reason resentment didn’t entirely consume you was because this was Tooru, your best friend.

“Fine,” you spat, “I’ll meet you at the park by your house.”

Without another word, you hung up.

You quietly left the bathroom, hoping not to wake Yachi and Kiyoko who were still soundly asleep next door. You carefully crept your way downstairs, and slid out the front door. You shot Kiyoko a text in case she woke up to your empty futon.

3:42am

You: I’m going to meet Oikawa.

The only company you had on your walk to the park were your thoughts, leaving you to replay the party, Oikawa, and Kei. With all that had happened with Oikawa, you hadn’t even processed what Kei had done at the party yet.

Honestly? It scared you. You had never seen Kei act so angry before, even when he thought you were the one who told MiyagiTea that you were living together. That was bitter and resentful; what Kei had done at the party was rage. The way Kei had looked at Oikawa made your blood run cold, you geniunely believed he was going to murder Oikawa had you not stepped in.

Had he been that infuriated by Oikawa? But a small thought buzzed in the back of your head, maybe he had done that for you.

You felt how he relaxed under your grip when you tugged at his shirt as an attempt to stop him from totally beating Oikawa, and the way his gaze softened when he turned around to face you. Had you coaxed him out of his anger?

You shook away your wishful thinking, knowing you were only getting your hopes up. He said it himself, there’s no way he would ever have feelings for you. But still, you couldn’t help but mull over how Kei had softened against you.

Before long, you made it to the park where Oikawa was waiting.

Your stomach lurched at the sight of him, the memories of the party replaying in your mind.

Oikawa was MiyagiTea. He had lied to you.

“Y/N,” he breathed, “I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

Oikawa looked as much of a wreck as you did, his usually bright eyes were red rimmed, dark bags under his eyes. Had he stayed up all night because of you? You almost let the worry wash over you, but you remembered why you were here. You wanted answers.

“Of course I did,” you muttered, “I want to know why.”

“Why?” He repeated, confused. Was he fucking serious right now? You clenched your fists, nearly wincing at the way your nails pierced your skin.

“Why the fuck you lied to me!” You snapped, the accumulated anger finally boiling over. “That stupid account has done nothing but hurt me! Why the fuck would you do this?”

Oikawa shakily sighed, collecting himself.

“At first, I started it as a joke, a stupid gossip account, but then it went too far-” He choked out, tears threatening his eyes, “I hated seeing you and Tsukishima together, so I used it to try and keep you two apart.”

“Apart? Why would you want us-”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He bitterly chuckled.

“Tooru, you’re not making any sense-”

“Because I’m in love with you!” Oikawa snapped.

Your voice faltered. What?

“Everyday I had to see you and Tsukishima together, wishing that were me, do you know how much that hurt, Y/N?”

Your voice felt like gravel in your throat, the words caught in your throat, unable to come out.

“I wanted to be the one you thought of, I wanted to be the one with you. I didn’t want to be second place.” He said, choking back a sob.

“Tooru-”

Your words burned leaving your throat. Your head was spinning. You felt like you were choking.

“Y/N, It’s always been you,” he croaked, “I’m so sorry I ever hurt you, I swear, from this day forward, I’ll never hurt you again, I’ll be better, I just want you to be mine, I love you-”

“Tooru, stop,” you choked out.

It was too much. You could barely hear Oikawa anymore against the pounding in your chest. All you could feel was the burn in your throat as you desperately needed to choke out something, anything. You needed to leave.

“Y/N, hear me out-”

“Oikawa, please!” You cried, the tears you shed earlier tonight returning.

The use of his last name instead of his first name made him flinch and your tears made him stepped back from you. You exhaled, relieving in the space he put.

“Just let me think, okay?” You whispered.

“Okay,” he muttered, unable to meet your eyes. “Just know, I’m so sorry Y/N.”

You turned away, walking away from the park, leaving Oikawa standing with his heart torn in two, and yours as well.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: kiyoko and yachi woke up and found y/n gone.

𝐚/𝐧: um chile anyways so... 🤨 well, we have 2 chapters left and the epilogue! how we feelin?

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 (𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃!): @sinistersith @moronsuke @yougivemebutterfliess @saturnfarie @peachiikichu @what-happens-inside-the-box @nonoszrk @cece-lives-here @belli-jelly @cvlliesstuff @ack-aashi @mindofess @virgoamajiki @natsukitakama @shimy-deko @irenevyas @virgoamajiki @toaster-stick @little-dark-empress @h0ngh0ngh0ng @freyafolkvangr @winunk @estmagnifique @thechaosoflonging @ilovesupersoldiers @simpletype @burntcilantro @starrydaisy @animatedrapture @intothatbluebluesky @resetrestartandreplay @lostmarimoismyhubby @witcherydotcom @kukiisan @not-venice @grapesauze @amberisnotcrazy @tarasaoristark @ammemuts @cloudymotel @loving-unicorns106 @strawberryssel @kakaokenma @cadelinha-de-haikyuu @wowie-issa-me-amario @pruemania @vitalthot @kageyamasgirl @abswrites @kac-chowsballs

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staycult · 3 years

Text

highschool!jisung as your boyfriend

pairing — gender neutral reader x jisung

genre — fluff / bullet scenario / friends to lovers

word count — 1.6k

enjoy!

u and jisung had been friends for quite some time now

ever since highschool started probably

u guys were in the same friend group

you were always with him during lunch

and u guys go home together bcs ure practically neighbors

“[y/n]! smile!” he said as he pulled out his favored polaroid camera

as you were about to turn your head around you heard a loud click, coming from the camera

a flash of light blinded your eyes

so you tried to cover it

“hey! i wasnt ready!” you pouted, giving jisung a light slap in the arm

he stuck his tongue out to mock your reaction and pulled out the film from his camera

“you look ugly” jisung snorted, fanning the film

“shut up and start moving!” you rolled your eyes and grabbed his hand to make him walk faster

bcs guys were about to go home

“do you want to stop by at the park first?” jisung offered

ofc u cant resist him

his presence always make u feel at ease

“buy me ice cream then let’s go” you bargained, earning an eye roll from him

“Two ice cream cones please!” you requested, giving the money to the cashier. you tapped your finger on the cold surface while your other armed propped your chin. jisung on the other hand was shuffling through his notebook filled with polaroid pictures that he took with your friends.

“stop staring at my pictures, ji” you laughed while grabbing your cone from the man in front of you and giving the other cone to jisung. “keep staring and you’ll fall for me” you added as you licked your ice cream. he clicked his teeth, “ew, you wish”

both you and jisung walked around the park, still in your school uniforms. the park is the place where you and your friends hang around when you guys have time. the slide and the swing are your most favorite part.

you sat down in the swing and tapped the other seat to motion jisung to sit down as well. “look, the sun is setting!” you pointed as you finished your cone. you looked over to jisung who was his camera pointed at you for the nth time. but this time, you managed to strike a pose in front of his polaroid camera. his cheeks can be seen from behind, obviously smiling at the sight.

days went by

you and jisung had been hanging out in the park swing almost every day

just the both of you

watching the sunsets and taking pictures

you noticed that he only takes random pictures of you but when youre with friends, they need to ask first before jisung would take a picture

he claims that your face is funnier with stolen shots

ofc u believed him

he is your best friend after all

the school year is about to end

and your music and arts teacher is talking about your final project

which was to write a song or poem, draw a portrait or make a poster

with a special meaning behind it

you almost ripped your hair out of frustration when you tried to compose a song or draw

so u went for a simple poster

you and your friends were comparing your final outputs in the cafeteria

“come on, show us yours!” your friends encouraged you

“ahh, it’s really ugly im not even good at these kinds of shit!” you cursed, showing it to them anyway

“seriously? it’s good! youre like jisung. god, both of you say you did bad but it’s not!” you friend said while eyeing your poster

“really? jisung i want to see yours!” you said while grabbing some of your friend’s food

“no” he said, sticking a tongue out to mock you

“why not?” you replied while pouting

both of you bickered for atleast 3 minutes

saying lots of ‘no’s’ and ‘why not’s’

he had enough of your shit

and pulled you out of the cafeteria

holding his notebook, backpack and a ukelele

jisung was grabbing you by your wrist until you arrived at the school’s rooftop. you didn't have the time to respond at his sudden action.

“ouch! what was that about?” you said once he lets go of your wrist. “you want me to show you my output right? well here it is. listen.”

you were taken aback by his words, did he really get annoyed by your previous bickering? and why are we on a roof top anyway????

jisung grabbed his ukelele and opened his notebook, which was filled with polaroid pictures of you that was taken over the school year and years before that.

“it’s called hello stranger,” he spoke and started strumming on his ukelele

“The moment I felt like our eyes met

my body moved all on its own

Movin’, movin’, movin’, movin’, movin’

The closer we get the more I think

about what it is I’m feeling

My mind is filled with question marks

I can’t see anyone

around us anymore, you’re just growing more clear

Everything on this road

is blurred and faded out except for you

I’m filled with nothing but curiosity about who you may be

It’s like I’m approaching you drawn by something I can’t even know

I won’t beat around the bush, my subconscious is pushing straight forward

having me walk as it pleases without a single thought

Ah, a new wind is blowing

Where could it have come from?

It’s strange, but it’s not cold

Before I know it my feet are moving, following the wind

I take my hands out of my pockets

Hello Stranger, I keep being drawn to you

Growing closer

to you without a single thought

I’m curious, more and more and more as time passes,

why am I like this? Who are you to do this to me?

Stranger

Nana nanana nana

Closer

Hello Stranger, who are you to do this to me?

I can see in you the things that I myself am lacking

I try yelling out to you the things I had just yelled into empty space

The things I didn’t have, that I was missing before I met you,

all of these feelings, every moment

my mind is filled with exclamation points

I can’t see anyone

around us anymore, you’re just growing more clear

Everything on this road

is blurred and faded out except for you

Something’s different about you, but I’m not sure what

I think the light approaching me now must be you

Even if I look away I can still see your afterimage,

you never leave my sight, who are you to do this to me?

Ah, my feet are moving, following this new wind

I take my hands out of my pockets

Hello Stranger, I keep being drawn to you

Growing closer

to you without a single thought

I’m curious, more and more and more as time passes,

why am I like this? Who are you to do this to me?

i love you”

it’s been weeks since you and jisung last spoke and since his sudden confession

you were about to tell him how you felt, too

how he makes you happy these past few days

to the point where you were falling for him too

but he ignored you

was it because he felt awkward?

or scared?

confusion was taking over you

and you know damn well youre gonna have to take measures into your own hands

so you came up with a plan to atleast get him to talk to you

“come on! just say i wont be there” you begged your friend. “fine. so roof top it is?” you squealed and gave your friend a hug. plan was to make your friends invite jisung at the same place he confessed on only to see youre the only one there

you grabbed your backpack since you had a vacant class and went to the rooftop to prepare. you knew jisung had a vacant class too, so you were hopeful he’s going to drop by.

“hi, i like you too” you practiced “no, too awkward” you ran your hands through your hair in frustration. “hey jisung! will you vincent van gogh out with me?” you repeated with hand motions this time. “god no” you mentally slapped yourself because of the cringe

“jisung, i like yo-” you repeated. you felt someone hug you from behind, “you do?” his husky voice sent shivers down to your spine as he hugged you even tighter.

“i-i do” you admitted, removing his arms so you can face him properly. “i really really do, i cant stand you not talking to me.” you burried your head to the crook of his neck.

“im sorry, baby. i didnt know how to handle rejection yet” he let out a low laugh, earning a laugh from you too. he snaked his arms around you and swayed you back and forth. humming the tune of the song he composed.

“youre mine now, are you?” he spoke, kissing your forehead as you gave him a nod.

bf jisung would mean

A VERY PLAYFUL RELATIONSHIP

SERIOUSLY

the confession may be soft and cuddly

but after like 2 days

yall are like best friends again

but with a mixture of sweetness

things never really changed

but you were still glad

love letters and songs !!!!!

lots and lots of kisses

cheek, forehead, chin, shoulder kisses

you name it

he would gently cup your face while doing so

he likes teasing you

but u tease him back

ends up with him being all pouty

will help u out with homework

ice cream and park swing dates

would literally take polaroid pictures of both of you

the ones he took before yall got together is displayed in his room

on the back of his phone

and the rest, he keeps it in his notebook

which was filled with songs about you

will sing you to sleep

will hold your hand literally every where

“baby, im the luckiest to have you”

author's note —

just imagine it's the slow version of hello stranger ok ALSO i want jisung to be my bf like ??

129 notes · View notes

rogershoe · 3 years

Text

Lights, Camera, Action

Part seven

(Part six)

Summary: You’re a production assistant on the set of Cursed. The night before your first day at work, you opened your laptop to shockingly realise you’d be working with Daniel Sharman (and a plethora of other amazing actors), someone you’d been watching on screen since you were a teenager. You kept your expectations low, the PAs rarely got to interact with the talent…what was your chance?

Word count: 3.1k

Tag list: @sxperncturalimpala67 @mrsaaronkeener @tinygardensoul @disasterday @5am-cigarette @lancelotapricot @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @slytherlight @18somethingpsyche @ceruleanmusings @glxctt @cavillxhenry @lovelyapplessss @hereagainsstuff @linkpk88 @aliceperdida @weeping-redemption @magicalsaladnacho @ineedyourskulls @fandomarstrash @cheythefangirl @pure-ghost @estrielle @tessxblxckthorn @isaac-lahey-is-bae @bubblyanis @proudhufflepuff77 @dollfacev8 @everlastingdreams @thehatredofshiprrick

Warnings: age gap between reader and Daniel, swearing, slow burn, mentions of sex

Notes: So sorry if this chapter is also a bit all over the place! I’ve been very distracted with school and it’s been a bit harder to find the time to write. All that said, here’s chapter seven and I hope you guys enjoy it!! Sorry again in advance for the lack of Daniel content, but I promisee that the next will have a lot more to make up for it. Thanks for reading!

(picture by @archivesharman)

“We’re good then?” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Ofcourse….yeah….we were always good” you mumbled.

He smiled at you before turning around and walking away.

What had just happened? You didn’t know if this day was the best you had ever had or the worst.

It was probably both.

As you pulled off your headset, your heartbeat thudded in your ears. Too many thoughts rushed through your mind, some good some bad. Why was he apologising to you? Did he really think he was at fault? And had he actually heard the part where Cassandra mentions you getting nervous around him? Had he noticed your uneasy behaviour? Or was he going to start noticing?

You thought you’d hid it oh so well…that no one could tell you had a weird crush on Daniel. Was it even a crush? Or was it feelings? You barely knew him, you’d have to get over it sooner or later…or atleast you hoped you would.

One part of you wished you could be like Siara. She didn’t give a shit if they were actors. She saw them as regular human beings and nothing more. She didn’t get nervous or starstruck. From what you’d seen, those were the type of people actors felt comfortable around to like and be friends with. Not anxious fangirls like you.

You shook your head, shivering. Why did it have to be so cold?

6:06 pm

You walked into your apartment, which was not much warmer than the outside. You took off your sweater and put on a thicker one, also grabbing a warm blanket and settling on your couch. The second you turned on your tv, you saw that Netflix was recommending Medici to you. You had seen from Daniels instagram that he was starring in the second season. Maybe this was a sign that it was time to watch the first. You clicked play and leaned back into your couch, letting the show whisk you away from your own troubles.

Tuesday, January 15th, 2019

3:32 am

You jerked awake when your phone vibrated on your thigh. You were shocked when you looked down at your watch to see it was half past three. You had only gotten through one episode of Medici before falling asleep from your exhaustion. You contemplated falling asleep again but decided against it, you were starving and hadn’t had anything to eat since 12:30.

You felt oddly refreshed, and felt like going out to get something to eat. You usually weren’t the spontaneous type, especially not at 3 am…but for some reason, your body craved fast food and also the cold night air. You though it out in your head and decided that you could get drive thru and eat it in your car, and by the time you were done, it would be time for work anyways.

You got up and got ready. Freshening up and putting on your “work clothes”. You hadn’t slept for eight hours straight in a while and so didn’t even feel the need to drink your usual cup of morning coffee.

You grabbed your jacket and headed out, your keys jingling as you locked your apartment door.

The night breeze was just as you imagined. The cold crisp air felt oddly refreshing against your face, and you could almost taste the coldness when you inhaled. You had kept your car window down, weirdly craving the chillness.

After a few minutes though, you found yourself shivering and rolled up your car window, licking your lips to warm them. You thought over where to get breakfast (or dinner?), and decided that McDonalds was your best bet. You knew they’d be open and also exactly what to get.

It took you five minutes to get to your local McDonalds. You pulled into the drive thru window and ordered a McChicken, a large fries, a coke, and an Oreo mcflurry. You usually never ate a big breakfast, especially before work, but you were starving and felt like you could eat their whole menu. Actually, you were holding back.

You got the food, breathing deeply when the hot smell of salty fries wafted towards your nose. There was a 7/11 a few shops down so you went and parked in front of it. From you seat, you could clearly see the door of the 7/11, and also the inside through the windows. It was one of the few places open at this time and you loved people watching. Especially people at a store at 4 am in the morning.

You pulled out your food and took a bite, your jaw aching with pleasure. When you took a sip of the coke, you could feel the cool liquid travel down your throat and through your chest. You looked up and saw that there was a cashier inside the 7/11, a teenage boy. He was sitting on a chair, his eyes droopy.

You tore your eyes from him when you heard a car pull into a parking spot a few spaces away from you. Your eyes widened in confusion when you saw Bradley step out. You knew your next actions were stupid and immature but you still went ahead.

You quickly (but carefully) put your food down on the seat next to you, and with unnatural swiftness, pushed/jumped yourself onto the back seat, lying flat on your back so he wouldn’t see you. You hoped he hadn’t seen the car move, but you don’t think he did since a second later you saw him walk into the 7/11, unbothered. You took a deep breath looking at your watch, it was 4:12 am. Huey had texted you saying that the crew and actors both would have an early start today. You would have to be at the studio by 5:00, which was 10 minutes from the store.

The position you were in wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was definitely getting slightly hard to breath. What the fuck were you doing? You should just get up and continue eating, he probably wouldn’t see you anyways.

Before you could, you saw him coming out and froze, holding your breath. You saw him look into your car but not at you, just at the empty front seats. There was a small box in his hand but you couldn’t tell what it was. You waited for his car to pull out but after waiting for almost thirty seconds, you got increasingly confused. Suddenly the car started shaking rhythmically and your eyes widened when you realised what he was doing.

He was busy now so you quickly got up and climbed into the front seat.

Seriously? He was really having sex in a car an hour before work? It was odd but you weren’t one to judge. You actually envied his spontaneity.

You started your car and drove away.

4:50 am

You opened the door of your car and got out, locking it behind you. You felt sick from all the food you ate, especially since it was right after you woke up. After you had driven away from the 7/11, you had decided to just eat in the studio’s parking lot and wait until it was time for work. Now.

You walked towards the building, rubbing your hands up and down your arms, your keys jingling in between your fingers. It was freezing this early in the morning.

When you walked into the studio, you were surprised to see all of the PAs except Bradley and Jay standing in a group together, talking to Huey. You walked over and greeted them, standing next to Siara. Huey was looking through the papers and you took the opportunity to ask her what exactly was happening.

“What’re you guys talking about?” you whispered.

She turned to you, also speaking quietly, “Something about how we might have to travel somewhere”

“Us?” you said surprised.

She nodded. You swallowed, trying to lessen your excitement. They would probably want the more experienced PAs anyways.

Huey cleared his throat and you turned to look at him.

“Alright. Please listen carefully since I’m not going to repeat this”

Everyone nodded and he continued, “To make a long story short, we’re going to be moving filming to England in two weeks and we want all of you to come with us. It’s fine if you’re unable to, but it would be extremely convenient for the production if our crew were mostly the same”

He paused and you took a glance at Siara. Her expression was blank. You sighed looking away and at Huey, who was now speaking again.

“All expenses, plane tickets and accommodation are payed for. Along with lunch, breakfast is also included. We’ll be in England for nine months with a two week break every three months”

Distraught spread through you as you realised you would have to be in England for nine fucking months…only if you accepted.

You nodded as Huey handed a folder to each of you, “This has all of the information you’ll need…if you decide to come, sign this and give it to me before the end of this week”. He walked away, leaving you all to discuss what you were to do.

Louis spoke up first, smiling widely, “Please tell me you guys are coming, you have to come”, he sounded like an excited child.

You beamed, “I really want to…but, it’s more than half a year”, you saw a sad expression spread over his face.

“I’m going…I’ve always wanted to visit Europe” you heard Siara say.

“Come on Y/N” Louis said looking at you.

“I’ll decide when I go home and let you both know” you said smiling. You wanted to go so bad, but the thought of nine months away from home terrified you. Even if you could visit.

10:48 pm

You had just gotten out of the shower and settled into your bed after drying off. Your work day had been exciting of course, but definitely not as eventful as yesterday. You hadn’t interacted with Daniel except your usual “hey”. You had talked to Jasmine about the change in shooting and she had told you that her and Cassandra were definitely going. Although you hated Cassandra, Jasmine was one of your closest friends on set and that made the decision much easier.

You pulled out your phone and opened your’s and Louis’ chat.

Y/N Hey, good news! I’ve decided I’m gonna come. I’m gonna miss Talia, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I don’t wanna miss out at all!! I'm so excited [10:29 pm]

Louis What?? That’s great! I honest don’t know what I would’ve done without you [10:32 pm]

Y/N Hahaha We’ll def talk more about it at work tomorrow, I think I should really sleep now lmao [10:33 pm]

Louis Of course of course. Same here...gn! [10:33 pm]

Y/N Gn :) [10:34 pm]

You smiled to yourself before texting Siara as well. She usually took longer to reply so you decided not to wait and turned your phone off.

You were equally nervous, scared, and excited for the trip. You’d get to travel? To another continent? Over a whole ocean? For nine fucking months? And almost for free? You honestly couldn’t believe it. The nine months still scared you but you tried to focus on other things instead. Like the beautiful sights you’d get to see in your time off…and also the places you’d get to shoot scenes. Daniel obviously as well. You wondered for a while if he was happy to go to England too. It was his childhood home.

Friday, January 25th, 2019

5:05 pm

You licked your lips to warm them as you entered Daniel’s trailer and took a deep breath as the warmth inside enveloped you.

It had been two weeks of helping Cassandra and Jasmine and you had finally gotten the hang of it. So far, your first day had still definitely been the most eventful, with you cutting your finger and then Cassandra getting angry at you. The rest of the days had been much better in some ways. You were still very giddy around Daniel, but you had learned how to hide it.

It was also much easier since you were more confident in what you were doing. You had actual jobs, like removing his make up and getting his skin ready…things which Jasmine used to do before you. Now that you did it, it gave Cassandra and Jasmine both more time to focus on his actual make up and hair. Cassandra wasn’t much better. She hadn’t blown up on you again like she had that day, but there was a significant increase in scowls, eyebrow raises, and dissaproving looks in general. If looks could kill, you’d be dead ten times over.

“Hi Y/N” Jasmine said, as you closed the door behind you. You looked around and saw that Cassandra was absent. Thank God.

“Hey” you replied, grinning. You glanced towards Daniel, who offered you a short smile.

You got to work, pulling out a make up wipe and rubbing down his face gently. You had learned that leaving the tears for last was best. That way you could use a separate, stronger wipe on them too.

Although you had done this about ten times now, it always made your flutter to be so near him. It was also odd how accustomed you had gotten with his skin. You noticed whenever he had a new scratch, or a pimple, a tan…any small changes.

For some reason, it made you feel special to be this close to him. It almost didn’t make sense to your brain, how close you were to him everyday, yet how little you actually interacted with and knew about him.

Today you were too busy looking at his eyelashes and didn’t realise you had run your wipe directly over a small cut on his jaw. He hissed slightly, opening his eyes. Jasmine cocked her head towards you both from where she was looking through a make up drawer.

Your mouth hung open in shock as you snatched your hand away from his face. Your eyes fell to where his cut was, and you swallowed. Why did you have to be so distracted and clumsy?

“Oh no, I’m so sorry” you said nervously and rushed over to the sink, wetting the corner of a small towel.

You jogged back over to his chair, being extra gentle as you dabbed the damp corner on the cut, trying to wipe the make up wipe’s liquid away. You then dried it with the dry part of the towel.

“It’s fine really Y/N” he said laughing slightly, “It happened during filming”

Your skipped a beat when you heard him say your name. It was still surreal to you that Daniel Sharman knew you….let alone you name. You smiled slightly before setting the towel down on the counter.

“Is it still stinging?” you said gesturing to his jaw, your hands shaking.

“Oh no, not at all” he said shaking his head. You felt that he wasn’t telling the truth but you let it go. Grabbing the make up wipe, you continued wiping his make up off. It was a much smoother process, and you took the time to ease your racing heart rate.

The flight was tomorrow and you couldn’t help but feel excited every time you thought about it. Louis had informed you that Jay and Bradley had opted out of coming on the trip. You were sad about Jay’s decision, but not so much Bradley’s.

You were happy but also terrified that your work was taking you out of comfort zone. Jasmine had texted you yesterday saying that she’d pick you up so you could both go to the airport together, which made the whole ordeal a whole less nerve wracking.

You had gotten quite used to this trailer, to the studio…..and you hoped that your routine and jobs (that you had finally gotten somewhat good at), wouldn’t change the minute you got to England.

Saturday, January 26th, 2019

2:58 am

You jerked awake and checked your phone, afraid you’d overslept. Nope, there was still a whole two minutes left until your alarm. The flight was at 7:00 am and you had told Jasmine that you wanted to get there atlaeast two and a half hours before. You rather be early and wait in the airport for an hour than be late and miss the flight.

You had thankfully packed everything the night before and it only took you almost forty minutes to get yourself and your bags ready. Just a few minutes after you were done, you phone rang. It was Jasmine.

“Hey, you’re here?” you said, smiling and wheeling your suitcases closer to your apartment’s door. You phone wedged between your cheek and shoulder.

“Yes!” she said sounding excited. You were eager to go too, but you had only slept four hours and were finding it hard to get to her level of excitement.

“Great..I’ll be right down”

It was a struggle, but you managed to get both your suitcases into the elevator and onto the curb outside your apartment building where Jasmine was waiting. The cold night air hit you like a brick, and you felt energy surge through you.

Jasmine got out of her car quickly, “Oh let me help you with those”

You both loaded your suitcases into the trunk of her car. Y

You rubbed you hands together warming them, as you got into the car, you backpack at your feet. Jasmine started the car, beaming.

“You excited?” she said, driving.

“Very” you laughed, turning the heater up. You were tired, but the adrenaline from your excitement kept you wide awake.

4:56 am

It took you guys almost twenty minutes to get the airport, which wasn’t bad. You were now walking through the airport, your luggage hopefully making it’s way onto your plane. You had made it through security smoothly, and there had been no problems with your boarding pass or passport. If there had, Cassandra would’ve probably killed you both.

“What’s the gate number?” you asked Jasmine, who was holding the boarding passes.

“Uhh” she looked at them, “32B”

You nodded, just a little farther. The smell of coffee and food from the various little cafes made your stomach grumble.

You thought your adrenaline would’ve died down by now but it hadn’t. You tried to keep telling yourself that it was because you were travelling to Europe…but inside, you knew the real reason you were so excited.

#daniel sharman #daniel sharman fanfiction #daniel sharman fanfic #daniel sharman fic #isaac lahey #daniel sharman x reader #daniel sharman x oc #daniel sharman x original character #daniel sharman one shot #daniel sharman headcanon #daniel sharman fluff #daniel sharman imagine #cursed #cursed fanfiction #cursed fic #cursed netflix #netflix #cursed x reader #daniel sharman writing

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xxgoblin-dumplingxx · 3 years

Text

Mission of Mercy: Thirty-Four

Bucky watched you, asleep on the front seat of his truck with Lucy cradled in your arms and he felt his heart warm. He reached up and turned the radio down, it was no wonder that you’re tired. There had been very little sleeping happening. And you weren’t enhanced in any way. Eventually you needed rest.

He smiled a little and settled back in his seat. You had said yes. You had said yes and you wanted a yellow kitchen. He’d been afraid you wouldn’t want the commitment. That you’d turn him down and balk as soon as he made his intentions known. He should have known, he supposed, that you wouldn’t. He knew first hand how much you loved him. He could feel it when you let go. The feeling glowed around him every time he made love to you.

Still. He had a fiance. A puppy. It was a family. His family. And he knew that he was going to protect you. His girls were going to be safe. And happy. Because that was going to make him happy. It was what men did in his time. They protected, they provided. And he wanted that. He wanted something that was his and just his. His girls. His family. His wife.

He reached over and laid a hand on your head, stroking your hair gently. It wasn’t just a relic from his time he wanted, he knew. He wanted a hand to hold. A partner. Not just a woman to warm his bed and pop out kids until her body gave out and she was broken and miserable. He’d seen you get buildings dropped on your head. He’d seen people shoot at you. And he hated it. He hated anything that could take you away from him.

So he didn’t think about it. He pushed the thoughts away and petted your hair. For now, you were safe. You were happy. And for once, in your entire life, you hadn’t had to spend your birthday mourning a parent that you didn’t remember and a brother that was never really, actually dead. He’d take that win. And the memories that came with it.

Sure, he didn’t know if he’d ever top it, but atleast you could look forward to things. At least you knew that your own quiet little remembrances were enough. That it didn’t have to take up everything, leaving you no space to breathe. Or really celebrate.

There had been a couple moments where you’d cried. Where it had hurt knowing that no matter how much you wanted to call your brother, he’d not know who you were. Or where you had wished that your mom would actually be happy for you instead of making it all about grief. Bucky had understood that. And all he’d done was pull you closer and wipe tears away.

“Grief, after a while, is a selfish thing,” you’d told him.

“I don’t think so,” he answered, “The pain is real. I’m not mad at you for being sad.”

“That’s not what I mean,” you told him, kissing his jaw. “The pain of loss never really goes away. I miss my grandma. And my brother. Every day. There’s a hole where they were, the empty places in the livingroom on Christmas morning. The need to call them when something cool or fucked up happens. It’s still there. But. Grief becomes a selfish thing when it keeps you from living. When you hang on to that pain and refuse to move on. To take the love you have for the people you lost and refuse to do anything with it. When you wallow in it.”

Bucky blinked at you for a second and then smiled a little. “How’d you do it?”

“I just wanted to make them proud of me,” you answer. “And I couldn’t really do that unless I did things. I couldn’t just… stop. Not before I ever really started. And whether she knew it or not, my mom was a masterclass in how NOT to handle pain.”

Bucky was still thinking about that conversation as he pulled into the motorpool. “Wake up, Princess,” he said smiling, leaning over to kiss your head as he put it in park. “We’ve got company.”

You sit up slowly, blinking, squinting a little in the fluorescent lighting. “Huh?”

“I had a lot of help, remember?” he chuckled, “I guess they wanted to know if I chickened out or not.”

You lift Lucy and kiss her nose, “They’re gonna eat you up,” you tell her, smiling. “So small. So very fluffy.”

“Very Fluffy,” Bucky agreed, getting out of the truck and going to help you down. And he smiled a little when he realized that now you always waited a second to let him get your door. You never fussed at him if he didn’t but you gave him the option. And that made him happy as he tucked you against his side and reached over to stroke Lucy’s ears.

Before he has time to say anything, you’re awash in well wishes. And ribbing. And people snuggling the puppy. And admiring your ring. It’s a mind boggling reception for you. Every major milestone in your life has been met with hysterical sobbing. And almost making you feel guilty for taking time away from your mother’s ghosts.

“I’m proud of you,” Sam said smacking Bucky on the back, “You actually proposed BEFORE Y/N’s group of crusty old codgers decided to make you.”

Bucky snorted, “Please. Joe all but threatened to shoot me in the balls if I even thought about getting her pregnant and not marrying her.”

He looks over to where Natasha is holding Lucy and cooing over just how small she is. Evidently women being in love with anything small and furry was still a universal. And that was good to know.

Steve shook his hand and pulled him into a hug. A gesture that communicated a lot of things that neither Steve nor Bucky was comfortable expressing in a setting this public. Approval. Pride. Love. And it felt good. He liked knowing that Steve liked you. That he was going to protect you if Bucky couldn’t.

But then. As Bucky looked around the room at their friends. He couldn’t identify one person that wouldn’t.

#Bucky x reader #fluff #mild angst #mentions of death #grief #hurt/comfort #implied smut

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chumpmagump · 3 years

Text

24 things you've learned about your 24th year on this planet. 1. After having lots of trouble with love and loss, I've learned I will be ok. Remember you are growing into the woman you are are piece by piece.. reclaiming the person you were before the rest of them thought it was okay to take you away from yourself and you thought it was okay to let them. Many will come and go, but you dont have to lose a piece of yourself with them. Be strong, don't let them. 2. It is okay to love someone but not like them. It is okay to have compassion and empathy yet still hold your ground that you deserve better treatment. Compassion is not synonymous with lack of boundaries. 3. After talking to your therapist and doing some hardcore reflection you know you show traits of bipolar disorder or borderline personality. Your therapist thinks its bipolar, you're pretty sure its BPD.. this hurts because BPD is stigmatised to the shit house - you would almost rather have bipolar. You work in a hospital where BPD presentations are rampant and you diagnose them in your assessments a lot. Your coworkers like to say things like '' we got another borderline up in ED...'' as if its a massive inconvenience. You feel kind of weird being a 'quiet' borderline because you function quite well but know you have this fucked up secret that you keep from others for fear of judgement. Your behaviour isnt affecting your functioning enough to warrant a diagnosis. But that doesnt mean your experience isnt true. You're good at recognising when your triggered and where it originates from, and actively pull back more and more from impulsive decisions. You can sit with your emotion at times and you've stopped abusing phenergan and have been self harm clean for almost a year now? so yay for you regulating more of yourself! 4. You realise searching for validation only leads to experiences of invalidation. Stop doing it. 5. You're good at empathising to a point where you find it hard to be angry at others for long, you sometimes tolerate too much because you can reason with the persons reasoning for acting the way they are. You shouldnt mistake this for respect, because its not. You still need self-respect. 6. Making spontaneous choices has led to some new experiences, like changing jobs, moving towns, meeting new people. You've learned you've missed out a lot in your last 5 years of 20 hood because of fear of rejection/anxiety/ unsafe situation phobia. but now thats all you want to do, you fear staying static for too long more than you do change. You're ready for new exciting things. 7. Friendships matter way more than romance ever will. Build your friendships and you will always feel connected and OK no matter what the status of your dating life is. 8. Going for solitude car trips with your music blaring, singing meaningfully, on a road in the dark to no particular, with no particular deadline is your muse. You spend a lot of time in your thoughts and with yourself, and sometimes you imagine being in company when the loneliness hits. But funnily enough when company does finally arrive, you yearn for the space you had with yourself. Honour that time. 9. What you make of this life literally doesnt fucking matter. You will be born again. You will never get another chance to be in this body, with this family, with these friends, in this place, at this time though. Do whatever you can to enrich your experience and dont worry about if other people are having a better time. Concern yourself with your own experience. 10. You validate yourself. Stop asking your friends what you think you should do about a situation, dont feel the need to tell them every situaiton thats going on with you to hear their perspective. Listen to your own voice. You dont listen to her enough. 11. You dont actually have to put up with people being rude to you anymore, you can voice that things bother you. You're not quite there when it comes to friends you dont know too well.. or family you know blow up easily, but you're less of a people pleaser somewhat and i'm proud

of you for that effort.

12. You realise you need to stop seeking validation that others have hurt you. If it hurts it hurts. Simple as that. 13. Trust a person by their actions waaaaaaaaaaaay more than their words. And give a person 6 months. They tend to send their representative first for a while. 14. Sometimes you dream up people without knowing first who they are. Its ok to do this but don't be surprised when they dont fit the version you had of them in your head. Sometimes living in fantasy is far more intoxicating than what comes to fruition. Sometimes i wish i only knew some people for the period of time where they were warm to my heart.

15. Keep going to therapy, its doing amazing things and slowly but surely helping you change your procedurally learned patterns of behaviour including the desire and panic to want to fix social relationships that sometimes shouldnt be fixed. If someone did something shitty to you, and they are upset with YOU , for whatever reason- this does not mean what they did to you is void. It may even mean they are deflecting and gaslighting you. Get out of there and you know dont like goodbyes of any kind. so in this case slowly drop off contact. 16. people cant read your mind with how your feeling, so tell them.. what they do with that information is on them after that.

17. you dont have to take pictures of everything. You will remember the experience more if you dont. 18. Drink your damn coffee!! its not going to stain your teeth anymore. you are so diligent with your skin and teeth care, you deserve to live a little.

19. Dont have sex with friends, just dont. its messy.

20. Just because someone doesnt choose you, doesnt mean you arent good enough. It means they're blind, theyre not meant for you, or better doors are opening. Sometimes you need to shut a few doors for some to open. Trust the process. 21. Its time to start doing the things yu have said you were going to do for years. Its time to sign up for that dance class, its time to start writing again (and you have been!), its time to start stretching (and you have been!), its time to finish your courses (and you have been chipping away!). The best thing is you are so motivated right now to do all of these things. They no longer feel like words, they feel like happenings. 22. Your body and mind is so much stronger than you think. You are managing a 23 + caseload, and working across emergency and intake. You sometimes dont have a lunch break and work 9 hour days at times. You still have the ability to relay information and type notes at great speed, connect with clients at a great depth and come to eat, shower and have been dedicating time to study and friends. Your body is a machine, and you are so much more robust than you give yourself credit for. People look at you and see a small petite typical white girl, but you are strength! 23. You have learned sex can be a safe and very enjoyable experience this year very recently. Even though the partner turned out to be a careless character emotionally within the friendship, you were able to experience what it was like to be that connected with someone sensually in such an intense way which was a first for you. Now you know what kind of sex you like - well you always did but now you know it exists. Good for you.

24. You spend the most time by yourself with yourself. Validate your own experiences and try to interrupt the fantasy that you should be waiting for someone else to enhance or witness it. i know you like to think about what it would be like to sing in the car with someone next to you, or to laugh about a ridiculous vine and hear someone elses laughter drown out your own, or to dance around your house and have someone watch you in awe... but its okay to be your own witness. This is one is probably the hardest ones of them all... All you've ever wanted is to feel seen. You fantasize about it all time, you live in fantasy because atleast you can always feel seen there. You're not so sure if you put yourself out there you'll leave feeling more discarded and invisible than before. This way its safer. It's time to witness you. It's time for 25. A year full of spontaneity, new experiences, enhanced friendships, self validation and enormous growth.

It's finally time to stop hiding from people, pleasurable experiences and desire.

It's time for 25.

#august 2021 #birthday #reflections #journal #25th

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ateezbabygirl · 4 years

Text

Golden Child Mafia Reaction : To their fiancée running away

Daeyeol

Daeyeol was coming home late, bloodied and bruised. The frequency of it was too much for you to bear. You were ready to leave any second. No matter how much you loved Daeyeol, you couldn’t bear the sight of him hurt. So one day you decided to pack your bags as he showered. Confusion was all over his face when he saw you with your bags

“I can’t do this anymore.”

And Daeyeol understood right then that there was nothing he could do to stop you. It might just even cause a bigger damage to your relationship. And decided to let you go.

He stayed silent, fearing what would come out of his mouth if he dared to open historical mouth. When he found his composure, he took one last look at you, just to see how drained you looked. His heart broke into pieces as you walked out of the door. But even after you left, he always kept an eye on you to make sure you were safe and it hadn’t gone unnoticed. So it was no surprise to you when you received his call one day.

“Another week and after that you’re coming home darling. I miss you.”

“I’m not coming back to you.”

“Oh, you will come back, willing or not.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m up for it if you are.”

You slam the phone down in order to calm down the growing heat of your cheeks. What you didn’t know was that Daeyeol was just a few feet away from you, chuckling at your reaction. And vowed to himself to be a better man for you so you never even think about leaving him.

Sungyoon

You didn’t even have enough time to plan your escape. You knew he would keep you captive if he need to. Whatever opportunity you got, you would have to use it to escape, and that’s all you needed. Sungyoon was out for business, when you decided to make your escape. You got your bag and shoved the nearest things you could find into it. But the timing was miscalculated. And you were caught while putting your escape plan into action. Sungyoon had walked into the room before you could even zip up your bag. Your body froze as he locked the door behind him.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?”

“I-I-“

Sungyoon walked leisurely towards you making you even more anxious about your impending doom. Sungyoon sat down on the bed and patted the space beside him.

“Come here.”

“No.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you wished nothing more than to run and hide in a corner. Sungyoon raises an eyebrow at your tone. Suddenly he was cornering your body against the wall.

“I wasn’t asking sweetheart.”

“Now you’re going to unpack that bag and sit on my lap till I’m done working. Understood ?”

“Bite me.”

If there was one thing that Sungyoon liked the most about you, was your obedient yet fierce personality. It was the very reason why he got addicted to you in the first place. His devious smirk was enough to make your body heat up.

“If you insist.”

Jangjun

No matter how much you were attracted to Jangjun, you knew he had a lot of enemies. So you decided to run away, even if it was the last thing you did. What you hadn’t expected was how difficult it would be without him around to keep you safe.

You had become paranoid to the extent that you wouldn’t leave your house for days sometimes. Not only because you feared what he would do if he found you but also because of the fear of his enemies finding you first. A few weeks later when you had finally managed to get a low key job, you decided to treat yourself to dinner thinking that you should celebrate your new beginning. Only if you had known what was to occur.

“Hey baby.”

You heard his voice before you saw him. Even though you had managed to stay low and eat in a shady restaurant, you were shocked to know that how calm he was being. You shakily looked up from your food and focused on the man sitting in front of you. Your face must have displayed your emotions before you could utter any word.

“Missed me?”

You managed to compose yourself and went back to eating. You knew you were doomed either way, so why worry. Atleast you could enjoy your last moments of freedom in peace. Jangjun chuckles lowly at your lack of response knowing well aware that you guys were in public.

“Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

He had leaned forward so he the conversation could stay between you both only. His eyes bore into your as they challenged you to defy him.

“You’re not taking me home for that.”

“Who said it had to be at home.”

The innuendo behind his words didn’t go unnoticed by you. You simply backdown in order to maintain your dignity before things turned dirty.

“We’re in public!”

“And I really don’t care. I’m trying not to fuck you senseless on this table.”

He stood up after his bold declaration and held out his hand for you to take. Even though you knew what you were getting yourself back into, but you could care less about it, especially as long as Jangjun stayed by your side. You had come to realize that you couldn’t live your life without him.

Youngtaek

You knew if you wanted to escape Youngtaek, you had to be stealthy. So you waited for the opportunity and gained his trust, enough to know about his whereabouts and schedules. And all that came into use when you successfully managed to escape the house. By the time Youngtaek understood everything, it was too late. Unfortunately for you his widespread connections were more powerful. And within a week you found yourself in front of him in his office.

In terms of fear, you were quite high up the level, because Youngtaek had been nothing but sweet to you so much so that you had to constantly remind yourself that he was one of the most dangerous Mafia leaders in the country. So you were worried about his negative reaction more than anything else.

“I trusted you.”

Youngtaek slammed his fists of the table and gave you the most deadliest glare he could manage. Not once had he raised his voice before, so it was no surprise when you flinched away. And as much as you wanted to stand your ground, you couldn’t do it because you felt guilty for betraying him.

“I surrendered myself completely to you, gave you everything, did everything you asked.”

“And this is what I get back in return, my fiancée running away from me.”

You heart broke at his words which were nothing short of the truth. He truly tried to be better for you. But you had been so blind to see the efforts he was putting in. Suddenly everything came crashing down and you felt his heartache briefly. He wouldn’t even meet your eyes so you feared the worst.

“Don’t give me that look.”

“Youngtaek, I’m-“

He stood still for a few seconds, thinking of what to say to you. But before you could apologize to him he walked by you and left the room without giving you a glance. Even though it hurt, you knew he didn’t want you to see him being angry. So in order to calm down and talk calmly he thought leaving the room was a better option. Which just made you feel even more guilty. And you decided to make it up to him and give this relationship another chance.

Seungmin

Seungmin received a call in the middle of the meeting regarding the sudden disappearance of his fiancée. As soon as he hung up the phone, he let out a loud sigh at your antics and ordered his men to find you.

He stood up from his chair and went to the window thinking about all the possible places where you could be hiding. He went back to work as he planned to make you regret your decision to leave him.

Soon you found yourself in the place you hated the most. Even though you always managed to disappear right under his nose, deep down you knew it was a matter of time before he found you. So when you saw him sit down in front of you with his freshly dyed blonde hair. Instead of screaming at you, he just throws his head back and let’s out a sigh. You could easily tell that this cat and mouse chase took a toll on him. You became anxious as the time passed by and broke the deafening silence yourself.

“While I do enjoy the silent treatment, I wasn’t aware that it was, I , who had done something wrong.”

You snapped back at him angrily. So when you received no verbal response, your anxiety went out the roof as you purposely babbled to rile him up. Abruptly he sighed and focused his gaze on you.

“You better shut that pretty little mouth of yours before I put it to work, princess.”

He stared at you for a few seconds and stood up. The next thing you hear is the door slamming shut but you could be least bit bothered about his whereabouts when he left you all hot and dazed by his words. Even though Seungmin had rendered you speechless you find yourself thinking some unholy albeit unnecessary thoughts about him. You prayed to God to give you enough willpower to make through and not jump on his bones.

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scarletwinterxx · 4 years

Text

First and Last pt. 4

Hello! I was going to post earlier but got distracted. had to pause writing for bit bcs I was watching Hyuck’s vlive. Anywayyysss thank you for all the love and support. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR || FINALE || BONUS

“Do you think he’ll like it?”

“He said he likes tiramisu so yea” Jeno answered

“But I don’t want it to seem like I’m bribing him with food. Maybe I should just-“

“Y/N-ah, it’s fine. Jaemin will love it. And he’s not really mad at you, you know. He’s just sad and disappointed” Jeno assured the girl who was currently fiddling with the cake she was holding.

When Y/N came to Jeno, asking him for help he didn’t hesitate to say yes. He knew the situation was a bit complicated considering his friends are not on speaking terms at the moment.

He could only imagine the tension over at Haechan and Renjun’s dorm.

“You know that doesn’t make it any better” y/n deadpanned, the boy sitting across her just shooting her one of his famous eye smile

“Don’t worry about it, where is Haechan by the way?” Jeno asked

“He still has two more classes, I had to call him this morning to make sure he actually got out of bed” y/n stated, Jeno was just smiling to himself as Y/n speaks about his friend.

Even if their relationship was pretend at the beginning, it looks like it isn’t anymore. He’s just not sure if those two were aware of it.

The first time he saw y/n and Haechan together, he didn’t even think twice about their relationship. They just clicked so easily it seemed like they’ve been dating for a long time.

All those times the two were together, it wouldn’t even cross anyone’s mind that it was fake.

They brought out sides of each other, better sides, without even realizing it.

“I should go over and see if he’s okay but I don’t want to bother Renjun, I’m sure I’m the last person he would want to see” The girl mumbled, she looked so down and ridden with guilt

“That’s not true, he just needs some time. He’ll come around” Jeno said then shot Y/N a comforting smile. The two didn’t notice Jaemin approaching the bench they were sitting on

“Hello” Jaemin said making the pair jump in surprise. Y/N immediately stood up and bowed her head, holding out the box towards Jaemin

“I’m really really sorry about making you upset and lying to you. I understand if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, here’s a little peace offering to lessen your sadness atleast for a bit” Y/N said, her voice getting lower as she speaks more

Jaemin leaned his head down, standing in line of Y/N’s sight

“My eyes are not on the floor though” the blue haired boy chuckled

“Sorry”

“You need to stop apologizing for everything, like I said I wasn’t mad” Jaemin shot the girl a small smile then accepting the gift she was handing over

“Sorr- I mean... Yea...” Y/N stuttered, trying to stop herself from saying sorry again

“Don’t worry, thanks for this. You didn’t have to but thank you”

“I really do apologize for making you upset. That was never the intention we had when we did it” Y/N told him and also Jeno

“May I know why? Why did you do it?”

“Hyuck... he just doesn’t want people to give him the pity looks anymore. I would never understand what it’s like to be in his place, no one should ever know what it’s like to be cheated on. He just got tired of being reminded of that everyday”

“We don’t even talk about it” Jaemin mumbled, a pout forming on his lips as he recall if they ever mentioned Lia in any conversation they’ve had. Renjun was very adamant about never speaking her name ever again so he can’t remember much

“I know but you also have been treating him with baby gloves, Hyuck won’t break you know. He might have been upset, sad and broken about it but he’s also trying to get better. If you tiptoe around him then he’ll feel like he’s not making any progress” Y/N explained, the two boys now understanding more

“Did he tell you this?” Jeno asked, wondering if he should have listened more to his friend or if he could have done something more

“No, but I can see it. He didn’t have to tell me. That’s why I agreed to do it, not because I wanted to make Lia jealous or to fool you guys but because I saw he was tired of tiptoeing too. He needed some room to breath, if having a fake girlfriend is what it takes to get that then why not”

"Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he was using me. If anything we really helped each other out. These past few months have been an adventure compared to the past 20 years of my life, I’m thankful for that”

After Y/N’s explanation, they finally get why.

“Thank you, too” Jaemin said surprising Y/N

“For what?” she asked back

“You understood our bestfriend more than we did. You saw right through him and helped him when he needed it and he didn’t even say a word, thank you for being there for him”

Y/N smiled warmly at him, getting a little teary eyed

“Ya don’t cry, Haechan will kill me if he sees you crying” Jaemin said making the girl laugh

“Thank you”

“So we’re good now? Shall we eat this cake? Thanks by the way. Now I’m going to prove how Tiramisu cake is so much better” Jaemin said, the atmosphere significantly lifting.

To say Y/N feels nervous is an understatement, she’s currently standing outside Renjun and Hyuck’s dorm waiting for the door to open.

When it finally did, she felt like her heart skipped and she lost all the words she was about to say,

“What are you doing here? Hyuck’s not here yet” Renjun answered, his voice devoid of any emotion making Y/N feel more nervous but she knew she had to do it.

“I actually came to talk to you” she told the boy, honestly speaking she was expecting to have the door slammed on her face but Renjun just opened the door wider and gestured for her to go in.

“You can sit, you know” Renjun said when he saw Y/N standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room

Renjun sat on the seat across from Y/N, still sporting a blank look on his face.

Y/N took a deep breath before speaking.

“I fully understand why you got mad, I’m sorry for lying. I do feel bad for fooling you like that-”

“Then why do it?” Renjun asked, never the one to beat around the bush always straight to the point

“Hyuck. And some selfish reason I had, trying to feel something more”

Renjun raised his brow at this, a signal for Y/N to explain some more

“It was never his intention to hurt you guys, he just needed a little more room to breath. He does appreciate you caring for him, especially you. He never tells you guys but he does. He cherishes you all”

“I had to watch him be so down for months, did you know he ran away?” to this Y/N shook her head, this story new to her

“You already know he never confronted Lia, we were all telling him to talk to her and that he didn’t deserve to be treated like that but he was waiting for her to say her side. Then when Lia broke up with him, making it look like he was the bad guy, he just ran away”

“Last summer, we thought he just went home but when we decided to visit him his mom told us he hasn’t been home all summer. He went back to Jeju for awhile, by himself. He only came back after we went there and literally had to drag him” as Renjun retold the story, a little smile appears on the side of his face.

“He looked so lost, I’ve never seen him like that. I wish I never see him like that ever again. That’s why we’ve been very cautious around him”

“You’re a good friend, sounds like you helped him alot” Y/N said

“Looks like he doesn’t want that help though”

“I needed the help, I didn’t know I did but apparently I do. I’ve always been alone, I’m never anyone’s first choice. No one would ever ask me first to be their partner in a project or ask me to go out and hang out. I was always that girl in the background, only being asked so it won’t get awkward. When Donghyuck asked me to be his girlfriend, well fake girlfriend, my first question was why me”

At this, it was Y/N turn to smile

“Out of everyone in that room, he saw me and somehow thought ‘Oh I pick her’. When we did that project last semester, I was already expecting I was going to do it alone but suddenly Hyuck was sitting next to me going on about when should we start doing the project, my first thought was ‘someone picked me’“

Y/N was fiddling with her fingers, a habit she developed when she gets anxious

“It takes strength to admit your weaknesses, I admit I’m not the best when it comes to making friends or expressing myself. It’s a big fault of mine, I overthink a lot. I worry over things I shouldn’t be worrying about. I’m a mess” Y/N said

Renjun now understand why she was saying.

Out of everyone, she understood what it feels like to be a mess. They all were but Y/N saw the mess Haechan was trying so hard to hide. She saw how he was struggling but unlike the rest of them, she didn’t pressure him into getting better. She just let him take the steps he needed until Hyuck felt okay again.

“Hyuck knows when to give me space when I need it, he reminds me not to worry about things I absolutely have no control over”

“He gives you that room to breath” Renjun finished the sentence for her, the girl nodding her head gently

“It still gets hard at times but now I know I have someone with me”

While the two were having a serious talk they didn’t hear the door open, Donghyuck entering the dorm room and hearing his bestfriend and the girl he likes having what looks like to be a very serious talk.

“Sometimes you just need to get lost to find yourself again. I get lost a lot, now I met someone who can anchor me down. Am I a bad person for putting that on him?” Y/N asked, a confused look crossing Donghyuck’s face having no clue what they were talking about

“No, he looks like he actually likes it” Renjun chuckled

“I’m sorry, I really am. You didn’t deserve being lied to” Y/N said, apologizing to the boy sitting across from her. For a while Renjun didn’t say anything, the tension rising inside the room

“Do you like him? Like for real?” Renjun asked, Hyuck unconsciously holding his breath waiting for Y/N’s answer.

“I do”

There are moments when it's just the two of them that tells Hyuck she feels the same way about him, but then it goes as fast as it came. He wanted so bad to talk to her about it but he didn’t want to pressure Y/N into anything.

Things started out complicated, their whole relationship wasn’t the typical one. Hyuck knew there are a lot of things to set straight, he’s just finding the right time to do so.

“But this isn’t about us right now. We can resolve that later” Y/N said with a gentle smile, “He needs his bestfriend more than he needs a girlfriend”

“I think right now he prefers you more” Renjun said, Hyuck held in a chuckle. He could already imagine the blush on Y/N cheeks

“I- well... I mean we’re friends”

“What happens to the two of you?”

“I thought I just said this isn’t about us, I’m trying to fix your friendship” Y/N mumbled, Renjun letting out a little laugh before speaking again

“He won’t get rid of me that easily, I just needed the time. As much as we fight and bicker, I don’t think I can live without him. Don’t tell him though”

Little did Renjun knew, Hyuck was standing near by waiting.

“I really am sorry” Y/N said once again

“I understand”

“Now back to my question, so what happens to the two of you. I’m pretty sure Haechan like-” before Renjun could say more Hyuck decided this is a good time to make his presence known

“What is happening here?” Hyuck saw Y/N jump a bit on her seat at the sound of his voice, the girl turning to where he was standing. Acting as if he just arrived and didn’t hear the conversation that just took place between the two.

“I can feel my ears burning, are you talking about me?” Hyuck asked again

“Only the embarrassing stuff you’ve done” Renjun replied, any tension that was there during that party was long gone.

“You two must have been here all day then” Hyuck said then took the seat beside Y/N,

“I heard you bought Jaemin cake” the boy tells Y/N

“As a peace offering”

“Where’s my peace offering?” Renjun asked jokingly, “Uh- well... I thought about how to approach you and a cake didn’t sound like a good plan” Y/N explained seriously

“He’s kidding, he likes hotpot though. If you ever need him to do something, try that” Hyuck told the girl, she just chuckled at his advice

“Stop exposing me like that”

After Y/N and Renjun’s talk, all was well again. The trio had dinner then decided to call it a night, Hyuck volunteering to walk Y/N back to her dorm even when the girl insisted she can just walk alone

“I can go home by myself, it’s been a long day”

“Sorry I can’t hear you” Hyuck said as he throw the take away bags they just finished, Renjun already in the kitchen clearing the rest of the dishes while quietly listening to the two

“I said I can walk home alone” this time Y/N pulled on Hyuck’s shoulder and spekaing directly into Hyuck’s ear, meanwhile the boy just smiles at Y/N’s action

Renjun rolling his eyes at the two but also smiling at them. They were perfect for each other, he thought.

“I heard you this time but deciding not to listen still” Hyuck said then walked to the door, already putting on his shoes

“I swear one day, I’m going to hit you” Y/N mumbled under her breath but the two boys heard it. Renjun laughing at her statement while Hyuck had a smirk on his lips, “And like I said before, I don’t mind being hit on as long as it’s-” Y/N eyes widden, already knowing what Hyuck was about to say so she cut him off

“Okay okay okay, fine. Let’s go. Bye, Renjun” she waved at the boy, Renjun saying a quick goodbye

After the two were out the door, he could hear the faint sound of their playful argument. Y/N must feel that comfortable around Hyuck, he has only ever seen her like that when it’s with Hyuck.

With this thought he pulled his phone out, quickly calling his other friends

“I’d give it 2 weeks, loser treats the winners” Renjun said as Jaemin picks up the call, he didn’t even need to explain

On the other side of the line, Jaemin was smiling widely. Jeno saw this and asked who was on the phone so Jaemin put it on speaker

“I say a week” Jaemin answered

“What are we talking about?” Jeno asked, “How long will it take for Y/N and Haechan to get together for real” Renjun explained,

The other two already understood that Hyuck, Renjun and Y/N made up.

“I don’t think we should be betting on this” Jeno mumbled, meanwhile Renjun rolled his eyes at this statement

“Just say your guess, Jen” Renjun deadpanned

“Injun said two weeks, I said 1″ Jaemin told the boy, “Three” Jeno answered

“Weeks? no way, they like each other too much”

“Day. Three days” Jeno clarified, feeling confident about his guess

“It’s on”

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hargreevestan · 4 years

Text

Get Home Safe (AU Diego Hargreeves x female!reader)

Authors Note: Okay, so I was listening to Ribs by Lorde on repeat which made me feel a wave of nostalgia so I kind of projected my younger self into a fan fiction?? ANyWayS, rich-kid quarterback Diego and goody-two-shoes reader are seniors in high school. They run into one another at a party

Trigger Warnings: Alcohol, angst, feelings of sadness and being alone

“Oh God, please make the world stop spinning,” (Y/N) thought to herself. She struggled to keep her balance as she stumbled her way through the backyard, leaning against the wooden fence for support. After much effort, she made it past the crowd of teens cheering around the beer pong table to the side of the garage. With her weight collapsing into the building, the stucco wall scraping against her shoulder as she dragged herself forward. That’s when she came across an obstacle.

Diego was in her way, leaning against the wall as he entertained the small clique of girls surrounding him. Looking past their shoulders, he (Y/N), terribly drunk and stumbling over herself. He promptly excused himself and approached her. The group of girls turned around, and giggled at the sight of intoxicated (Y/N), before dispersing back into the party.

“Hey, (Y/N). Doing okay there?” Diego asked, stopping her in her tracks.

“Never better,” (Y/N) answered, words slurring.

“Where are you headed?”

“Home.”

“Okay, so how are you planning on getting there?”

“By walking.”

“Do you really think you’re in any shape to be doing that by yourself right now?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah? Can you walk straight for me then?” Diego smirked.

(Y/N) nodded and attempted to stand up without any support, toppling forward immediately. Diego caught her, his free hand firmly holding her shoulder.

“I think I should probably drive you home, (Y/N)” he said, a look on his face that was half worried and half amused.

“No, no, it’s okay. I don’t want to be a bother to you.”

“Don’t worry about it, I need an excuse to leave anyways.”

“Haven’t you been drinking, though?” (Y/N) questioned, sloppily gesturing to the red solo cup in his hand.

“It’s just water, don’t worry. Actually, here, have some,” he replied. (Y/N) took it and downed the entirety of its contents, before crushing the plastic cup and throwing it over her shoulder.

“(Y/N) is drunk-drunk,” Diego thought to himself. He leaned in and wove one hand under her arm and around her back, placing his hand on the sleeve of her white t-shirt. He grabbed her hand and wrapped it behind his head so they had their arms around one another’s shoulders.

“Let’s get going.”

The pair walked up the driveway.

“I’m parked a couple houses down,” Diego said, leading (Y/N) down the sidewalk.

“Amazing, I wish I drove.”

“(Y/N), you do drive.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot,” (Y/N) giggled.

Diego rolled his eyes. He took his keys from his pocket and pressed the unlock button. The headlights of a black Jeep flashed, followed by a beeping noise and the click of locks.

“Promise not to puke in my car?” Diego prompted, opening the door for (Y/N) and helping her in, making sure she buckled her seatbelt.

“I promise!” (Y/N) assured him.

Diego walked to the drivers side and got in. Music began playing as he turned on the car. He turned to face (Y/N).

“So, where do you live?” he asked.

“Uhhh, you go left then up then le- no, right, and then, uh..”

“Actually, just tell me your address,” he said, typing it into his phone as (Y/N) recited the number and street name.

“Beginning route, proceed straight,” a robotic voice coming from the speakers of his car instructed. He began driving.

“So, how much did you have to drink?”

“Only a little”

“How much is a little?”

“Like, half of one drink.”

“I doubt that.”

“I did! I only had one cup, and it was half lemonade half vodka!”

“Holy shit, (Y/N). That’s not half a drink! Do you even know how much one drink is?”

“Not really.”

“You probably had, like, six shots! Did you space it out, atleast?”

“No, it tasted bad so I just downed the whole thing, That way I would only have to taste it once.”

They hit a stop sign, and Diego looked over at the girl in disbelief.

“Don’t do that, (Y/N),” he said sternly, “please.”

The two drove in silence for a while. How Are You True by Cage The Elephant began to play over the speakers.

All your days spend counting numbers

'Til one day you'll find (day you'll find)

That life has passed you by

(Y/N) sang along softly. Suddenly a wave of sadness hit her. The reality of the situation became so clear to her. She was invited to her first high school party, a month before graduation, just because she was useful. She was always helping people in their classes, trying so hard to be nice, to be liked, to be noticed. Once she got there, she felt out of place. She didn’t know how to talk to anyone, so she downed a drink, trying to keep herself preoccupied- trying to distract herself from how lonely she felt, despite being surrounded by people.

Diego heard a quiver in her voice and looked over at (Y/N), noticing the tears streaming down her face.

“(Y/N)? Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

(Y/N) kept looking forward, shaking her head.

“Nothing,” she said, coming out like a whisper.

Diego pulled over and parked the car.

“(Y/N), you’re crying..”

“No, I’m sorry, you were just trying to be nice to me and now I’m being a mess in your car and, I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

Diego sighed. “Listen, my brother… Well, he has this problem with alcohol. I know sometimes, when he’s had a little too much, he can get really sad. I get it. I mean, I get why he is the way he is, but… I don’t know, do you want to talk about it?”

“Diego, what do you think of me?”

“Well, I don’t really know you that well. But I do know you were my lab partner two years ago, you know, in biology. Pretty sure Ms. Smith paired me with you because I was almost failing and you’re, well, you’re you. And you helped me pass, but you never made me feel stupid for not knowing the answers to things.”

“I think that’s how everyone sees me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think people only want me around because I can help them with things. I don’t think anyone actually likes me.”

“I think you’ve just had too much to drink.”

After a moment of deliberation, Diego spoke again, “In the locker room, well, we talk about girls and stuff. You came up once, when I had to get my grades up in order to be eligible to play. If I failed biology, I would have got kicked off the team, so Coach made me skip practice and go to tutoring. Anyways, half the football team thinks you’re cute. They say you’re quiet, but you’re always nice when they talk to you. And the other half doesn’t know who you are.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.. You always keep to yourself. But no one thinks anything bad about you, they just don’t know you.”

“I’m sorry, you already went out of your way to drive me home and now I’m just complaining about my life to you-”

Diego cut her off, “Hey,” taking one hand and tucking a lock of (Y/N)’s face behind her ear, “No one is forcing me to do this. I’m here because I wanted to see you get home okay.”

“Thank you,” (Y/N) smiled at him gratefully.

He smiled back and stroked his thumb across her cheek before returning his grip to the wheel.

“So here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna take us to McDonalds and buy us some ice cream and fries, which is actually a beautiful combo, so you have something other than alcohol in your system, and then I’ll take you home. Sound okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

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oranjis-shipping-mess · 3 years

Text

Song Challenge ~ SoonChan Campfire

"Chan? So why are you taking me on your family weekend? I mean, I love it, don't get me wrong, I always loved it. But doesn't this spot belong to Joshua now?" Soonyoung wondered as he put the last bags in to his car. Chan shrugged, "you always came with us. My family knows you, and you know them, I uhm, I don't think Joshua would like something like this." They both got in the car, Soonyoung in the drivers seat, Chan next to him, ready to drive to Chan's family cabin in the woods, out of town. "But don't you think its about time that Joshua should meet the rest of your family? I know atleast your mom is very find of him." Chan let out a sigh, "he wasn't ready, Soon." Was the last thing Chan said as he turned up the music, avoiding any further questions.

Once at the cabin, Chan's family happily greeted both of them. "Channie, my dear. Where is Joshua?" Chan' s mom asked as she pecked his cheeks. "He couldn't make it, sorry mom." She turned to greet Soonyoung with a warm hug, "its great to see you, dear. Its always a pleasure to have you here." Soonyoung smiled, "thank you for having me, miss. Lee."

After Soonyoung and Chan had moved their bags from the car to the cabin, they helped out with making dinner and setting the table. Chan had started to move around nervously, the first dinner at the cabin, always meant one, or more people came with big news. Everyone always waiting for Chan's father to open the dinner with a toast. "Chan, what's wrong? Why are you acting so weird? You know, you can still call Joshua, if you rather have him here then me, i'm sure he would change his mind." Chan shook his head, "no, Soonyoung. Its fine, I'll see him later, okay? Now, if we can focus on dinner? Father will be here soon." Soonyoung shrugged and quietly went on with preparing things for dinner.

"I am glad that everyone is here, and in perfect health. Ofcourse, I already heard some whispers going around about announcements. So come on, spill!" Chan's dad chanted friendly. Chan's cousin and her fiancée went first, they were expecting their first baby, everyone went around to wish them well. Some talk later, Chan's dad looked at Chan, "come on, son. I know you have some big news, you can tell." Chan shook his head, he already knew what his dad was refering to, but there was no big news to share. "Well, Chan. I know Joshua couldn't be here this weekend, but that doesn't mean you can't share the news." All eyes were on Chan, who was pretty sure all the colour had left his cheeks as he stared in to nowhere. "Chan, my boy. If you're too shy, I will share it. Everyone, my one and only son, Chan, is getting married! The gentleman came to ask for Chan's hand in marriage, and ofcourse, I gave him my blessing. I can only imagine how good he is for my son. So lets toast, to our family growing bigger in many different ways!" As he lifted his glass, Soonyoung was looking at Chan in disbelieve, upset that Chan didn't tell him about the engagement, but Chan felt like he was going to get sick, right at that moment. Quickly, Chan shove his plate away from him as he got up and stormed outside, eager for fresh air. Soonyoung excused himself as he quickly followed Chan outside.

"Chan, hey! Channie!" Soonyoung yelled as he got hold of Chan's arm. "You're getting married? Why didn't you tell me?" Chan tried to catch his breath as he shook his head. "Come on, Chan. Say something.." Chan didn't say anything, as he continued walking towards the open field, where they had already prepared a fire for later that weekend. "Chan.." Soonyoung whispered, but still no response. Chan started the fire, sitting close to it, so he could feel fhe heath. "You know that you can tell me anything, right? No judgement here." He sat down close to Chan, but not too close. "Soonyoung," Chan finally started. "You know, the reason why Joshua isn't here? Its because we are not together anymore." Soonyoung raised his eyebrows, many questions came to his mind, but he just looked at Chan, waiting for him to continue. "Look, my father didn't lie, okay? Joshua proposed to me. And yes, it was romantic and all, but I couldn't do it, Soon. I just couldn't." In his mind, Soonyoung was impatient, he wanted to know everything. He knew Joshua was a good guy, but truely, he had always felt slightly jealous towards him, because he too, was in love with Chan, but never dared to make a move. "He was so sweet, Soon. I hate myself, I fucking hate myself. I broke his heart." Chan was fully in tears by now, his face hiding in his arms, on his knees. "Channie.." Soonyoung moved closer, wrapping an arm around the younger, trying to comfort him. Chan tried to reject him and move away, only to lean in to the touch again and hug Soonyoung tightly. "Shh, hey. Its okay, Chan. Its gonna be okay." Soonyoung petted his back, moving small circles, as Chan was trying to calm down. "He was s-so upset and angry. He looked so broken. Soonyoung, I broke him. It would have all been better if I never got together with him in the first place." Chan slowly moved away from Soonyoung, looking at the fire again. "But you didn't do anything wrong, Chan. If you weren't ready, then its best to be honest about it." Chan sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that kept coming. "Its not that I wasn't ready, Soon. Its because I am in love with someone else. I broke his heart because I am in love with someone else. How fucking selfish is that?" Soonyoung took hold of Chan's hand, "Chan, hey. Look, would you rather have said yes, and be unhappy in a marriage because you're not fully commited to it, only because you want to protect Joshua's heart? Because I think you did the right thing. Yes, he's hurting now. But Joshua is a strong man, okay? He will eventually be alright again. But maybe you should reach out to that other person? Don't you want to find out if it was worth it? That you left Joshua, because you might have a shot with them?" Chan shook his head, "no, Soonyoung. I don't want to do that. I left Joshua because it didn't feel right to stay because of my feelings for someone else. But that doesn't mean I want to act on these feelings." Soonyoung nodded, understanding Chan and giving him space.

They sat it silence, both looking at the fire that was dancing in all directions. At one point, Chan's mother came to check up on them, knowing very well where her son went when he wasn't feeling well. Soonyoung had told her that Chan was feeling a bit under the weather, and that they just needed some time to talk about things before heading back. As she went back to the cabin, Chan felt even more guilty then before, but he stayed at the exact same spot.

After a while, Chan burst in to tears again, Soonyoung sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly, assuring him that it would be fine. "But Soonyoung, I-I'm such a fool.. Even thinking for a second that this person would have feelings for me too.." Soonyoung shook his head, "don't say that, little one. Whoever gets to spend the rest of their life with you, should consider themself the most lucky person walking around this earth, okay? And ofcourse, you take your time, whether or not you eventually want to tell them. But if I were them, I would definitly feel like the luckiest person in the universe." Chan looked up, looking in to Soonyoung's eyes, struggling with the words he wanted to say. "Maybe.. M-maybe you should consider yourself t-the luckiest person in the universe.." It took Soonyoung a moment to take in Chan's words, who went from having red cheeks from all the crying, to white as snow, as if he had seen a ghost. "Chan.. What are you saying?.." Soonyoung bit down on his bottom lip, if anything, he didn't want to misunderstand the situation. "That I'm in love with you, Soon.. I told you it was stupid.." Chan wanted to get up and walk away, but Soonyoung was quick to get hold of Chan's arm and make him turn around to face him again. Looking in to each others eyes, suddenly felt different then before, Chan felt nervous and wanted to run away and never look back, as Soonyoung felt like he had just won the lottery. Soonyoung was still holding on to Chan's arm, but he was lost for words, Chan felt like he could fall down any second, but something was keeping him from falling. That something being Soonyoung's lips against his own, soft, gentle, and a little unsure for both of them. But Chan finally relaxed under the touch and Soonyoung noticed, wrapping his arms around Chan's neck, not breaking the kiss for even a second. Chan had his arms around Soonyoung's waist, he could feel that a few tears still tried to escape his eyes. When they finally parted to catch some air again, Chan rested his head against Soonyoung's chest, while Soonyoung drew small circles on Chan's back.

They stood like that for a while, both wondering if what just happend, was in fact, real and not a dream. No words were needed, as the look in their eyes already said enough. They sat down again, Soonyoung had one arm around Chan, who rested calmly against Soonyoung. "Hey Chan-," Soonyoung started, but was immedeatly interrupted by Chan's lips against his, moving smoothly, as Chan made Soonyoung lay on his back, Chan resting right above Soonyoung's chest, as they kept kissing, deeper and more passionate then before. Their body's temparture rising, not only by their touches, but from the fire that was right next to them. They removed their shirts, immedeatly finding each others lips again, chest against chest, hands traveling up and down each others bodies, exploring each other like there was no tomorrow. Breaths were getting heavier as they both became super needy for each other, untill Chan pulled back slightly, making eye contact with the older. "Soonyoung, I-I'm sorry, I-," Soonyoung pushed himself up, kissing Chan gently, "its fine, I understand." Chan smiled, relieved, but couldn't help but tear up, once again. "Hey, its fine, okay? It really is." Soonyoung rested with one arm on the ground, as with his other hand, he wiped Chan's tears away. "I understand. You don't have to be sorry. Come on, lets get you dressed again before you catch a cold, okay?" Chan nodded slowly, getting off of Soonyoung, who collected their clothes so they could get dressed again. "Do you want to go back to the cabin?" Chan shook his head, "no, I'm not ready yet. I want to stay here a little longer, with you." Soonyoung smiled lightly, as he took the younger in to his arms, making sure he couldn't get cold. "Whatever you want, little one. I'm not leaving your side ever again." They shared a short kiss, Soonyoung wrapped his arms around Chan's waist as he leaned his head on Chan's shoulder. Chan leaning back in to the touch, leaning against Soonyoung's chest.

The next morning, they woke up from the sun brightly shining on them, as the fire had almost gone out by itself. "Shit, we were here the whole night?" Chan immedeatly sat up, Soonyoung following slowly. "Hey, calm down. Your mom knows we're here, its fine. Hey, look." Soonyoung pointed towards a paper bag that was sitting close to them. Chan went to grab the bag, "There are sandwiches in here and two bottles of juice. And a little note, -I know, its okay. We will tell father later. Love, mom.-" Chan smiled at the note as he sat down again. "See, it will be fine, there is no rush." Soonyoung said as he left a soft kiss on Chan's cheek. "No rush." Chan repeated, as he pressed their lips together, before they started eating their little breakfast.

#oranjis-shipping-mess #Soonchan #Hoshi #Dino #Soonyoung #Chan

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