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m39 · 1 year

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Doom WADs’ Roulette (2004): Community Chest 2

Step right up! Step right up, kids! Uncle Doomworld will give you a chance to show off your work in the second Community Chest!

...

Wait a minute-moment...

SECOND?

G9: Community Chest 2

Main author(s): Various (Project led by Dale Harris)

Release date: December 6th, 2004 (database upload)

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: Boom

Levels: 32 (classic roster)

Well, this is an odd one. What we have here is another WAD that I played before due to Dean of Doom spoiler tagging one of the maps and another one where we ignore the first installment and go straight into the following one.

If we want to talk about this compilation, we need to first talk about the series it comes from: Community Chests.

The concept was born on August 14th, 2002, when one of the members of TeamTNT, Dale Harris (Cadman), came out with an idea of a project that would help some of the less popular WAD makers give their time in the spotlight.

TLDR, the first Community Chest, released on June 13th, 2003, was a rather successful but also controversial WAD, due to one of the project’s members being found dead around over three weeks before the WADs release.

A personal note here but maybe it ended up good that that WAD didn’t end up on the Top 100 WADs of All Time list since knowing the infamy of Citadel at the Edge of Eternity, I would probably lose whatever marbles I have right now if I’ll ever play it.

As for today's installment, its rules were that the maps had to be compatible with Boom. Features of this source port were allowed, just as custom textures and muzak. Also, this WAD was released twice due to being unfinished the first time it happened.

As usual, when it comes to projects featuring many maps from many authors, it can spiral into a mixed-bag. CC2 is definitely this kind of a WAD so it will all come down to how much fun I ended up having.

Let’s take a look at Community Chest 2 and see if we found gold in a pile of copper.

From looking at the maps’ visuals I’ll say that it could’ve been worse. Yes, some maps look like your typical, stock Doom map, but there are moments when you come out at something that looks incredible, even if the map uses nothing but stock textures. Even the ugliest maps looked better than some of the maps from Hell Revealed II. Maps like Death Mountain, Gethsemane, and Event Horizon are some of the more eye-appealing ones in my opinion.

Seventeen maps use custom music, ranging from music from Doom I to the MIDIfied versions of tracks from other games/media. There is even one map that has the original music track made especially for it.

It definitely felt better when I played a map that doesn’t have Classic Doom music. Let me tell you though, that after the first map, you will be forced to play up to Shadow of Evil until you start hearing something that isn’t from Classic Doom. Which kind of brings us to how Kitchen Ace (And Taking Names) doesn’t loop properly in The View. Like, the fact this glitch happens with the Classic Doom music astonishes me. Then again, this feels unsurprising with this when I’m playing WADs using GZDoom.

While I feel like this compilation wasn’t as tedious to play as Hell Revealed II, it still had maps that overestimated their welcome, with stuff like egregious backtracking, crate mazes, multiple instances of timed switches in a row, and much more annoying stuff that Mock 2 made fun off. That doesn’t mean that there weren’t any gems in CC2.

The first two maps, for instance, were excellent to hook people in. Erik Alm’s The Furnace felt like a really good warm-up, while Coolant Platform was great at introducing Boom’s features to the player; to show them what might happen in the future maps.

There are also three more maps that I want to talk about:

To Hell and Back basically explains its concept with its title alone: You start out in the base, and you grab keys to access the teleporter to Hell to grab the red skull. Shame, however, that it ends on another Dead Simple clone.

City Heat makes you explore nine buildings to find a switch in each one to finish it, both with normal and secret exits. It also summons an army of demons every ten minutes (it happens three times). Fuck building #8 though.

The previously mentioned Death Mountain uses tricks with fast teleporters simulating entering/exiting caves (not counting one command building).

Also, the last map, In Threes, ends on your below efforts Icon of Sin boss (or should I say, Crosses of Sin). At least this time you have to press three switches with a set of six keys instead of standing like an idiot and shooting that one tiny spot to hurt John Romero.

Changing the subject, this compilation was, of course, easier than Hell Revealed II. But be aware that there are still some really hard maps, either for right or wrong reasons.

The perfect example of the worst kind of cheap difficulty is the ending of No Room. It was overall a very pretty level with questionable fights but the very last part is a complete spit on your face: Ending up surrounded by Hoovies with no cover after reaching the fake exit! AND IT HAPPENS FIVE TIMES!!!

WHAT IS THE REASON BEHIND THIS BULLSHIT?! TO MAKE THE MAP HARDER?! WELL GUESS WHAT?! IT DIDN’T MAKE THE MAP HARDER! IT ONLY MADE LINGUICA LOOK LIKE AN ASSWIPE!!

Hey... Hey! Wanna know a fair way to beat this part?! Activate God Mode, and punch the living shit out of Hoovies (if you found the Berserk Pack that is)!

sigh

Fuck this moment.

The bugs that I encountered were more enjoyable than what I just described to you. No game-breakers, just your typical holes into the void among other stuff described in the text file and Doomwiki.

Also, ironic that you need a Boom-compatible source port and yet Boom itself couldn’t play Sodding Death because it’s too big for that port and The Mucus Flow because Boom breaks one of the switches.

And now that I finally mentioned B.P.R.D.’s The Mucus Flow you might be wondering, why I didn’t talk about this map before? Simple... Because it almost feels like a masterpiece that should be played before even thinking about watching videos/reading stuff related to this map. It might probably be the biggest reason why you should even bother to download CC2.

But there is also one author that needs to be talked about but unlike The Mucus Flow, this guy is here for the wrong reasons (probably) – Gene. Big. Bird.

Scare Chord

Ah yes! Gene Bird! That one map maker that will make MtPain27 start foaming from his mouth and turn into MDK mode to singlehandedly slaughter him for mere breathing (especially if Gene Bird looks like Big Yellow Bird from Sesame Street).

But there is a legitimate reason why MtPain would give Gene Bird an F just for existing – His maps are pure, 1994 chaos!

The maps’ style is chaotic! The way of playing them is chaotic! The enemy placement is chaotic! The secrets are chaotic! All of his maps scream complete and utter mess! Even his final map, Desecration, feels like that despite being the only one that was created for this compilation! You heard it right folks! His first FOUR maps were created before Community Chest 2 was released, making me think that these were added as filler maps because not enough people were interested in this project!

But... BUT... Let me tell you something people, as I’m going to play Gene Bird’s devil's advocate for a moment: His maps aren’t the worst maps I’ve played.

Yeah, despite his maps being one giant mess, at least I could understand where to go! I could understand what to do! I could understand what was going on! At least I felt like Gene Bird’s maps didn’t waste my time like some of the ZDoom-focused WADs or other moon-logic filth!!

...

So uhm... now that I stopped talking about Gene Bird and his maps, is it worth downloading Community Chest 2?

...

Kind of? If only for The Mucus Flow and other maps that I covered in a positive light.

And as for my overall experience with this compilation – it was fine. I played worse.

This megaWAD suffers from a typical compilation syndrome – its best moments are sandwiched between maps that can be considered mediocre at best.

And now that I think about it, CC2 feels just as tiring to play as Hell Revealed II. it may not be as hard as the latter, but considering how the maps were created with being standalone in mind, it felt longer to finish them.

Thankfully, the last map of the 2004 roster sounds interesting enough to take only one day break after posting this review.

I’ll see you next time.

Bye.

#doom #Doom WAD #review #doom mod #Doom 2 #2004 #cacowards #doom 2004 #community chest #community chest 2 #doom community chest 2 #Doom WADs’ Roulette

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pinkoptics · 3 years

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Cherik ‘Fallen Angel’ Fic

Part 2 (of Chapter 1)

Find Part 1 (of Chapter 1) here.

Charles is an angel. He loves Erik. He saves Erik. God takes issue with that. Hilarity and adorableness (with a smidge of angst) ensues. In this part, protective!Erik makes an appearance at the hospital.

“I don’t know what his last name is!” Erik growled at the nurse, just barely managing to hold back the ‘fucks’ he wanted to pepper the sentence with. “I wasn’t exactly trying to get all of his info while he was bleeding to death on me.”

Erik released them in his mind— Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She’s just doing her job. She’s just doing her job. Don’t strangle her with metal.

“I told you,” Erik gritted his teeth and repeated a variation of the same combination of sentences he had already uttered twice. “I was crossing the street. The car barrelled through the red light. He jumped in and saved my life. I tried to return the favour. His name is Charles. He’s cute. I promised to take him to dinner. That’s all I know and that’s as far as we got before he passed out.”

How was Charles? Was he okay?

It didn’t seem like he could be. It had looked like so much fucking blood. The utterly insane things the man had said (“You should know you’re beautiful. Before I leave this mortal realm, I want you to know that”). Those spectacularly bright blue eyes fading to a frightening dullness. Not that Erik knew anything about anything medical, but none of that had seemed promising. So, not only was this nurse annoying as all fuck, she was stonewalling him. They wouldn’t tell him a goddamned thing because he wasn’t Charles’ next of kin. No one, in fact, knew if he had any next of kin in New York because he didn’t have a wallet, ID or phone on him. This was why the nurse was presently grilling him for information he did. not. have. They hadn’t let him ride in the ambulance, so he’d taken a cab and prayed that the ambulance had made a hell of a lot better time than he had. The only reason they were talking to him at all was because he had been there, had a name, a first name, and that was it.

The swinging doors opened and a woman in scrubs emerged. Erik nearly lunged.

“Are you Erik?”

“Yes.”

“He’s asking for you. I don’t want to let you in at all, but I don’t think we’re going to be able to start anything beyond emergency treatment until he talks to you.”

Asking meant conscious. Living. Thank fuck. The relief was powerful and nearly knocked him on his ass. Later, when he wasn’t teeming with barely contained frustration, and desperately trying to ascertain just how okay Charles was or wasn’t, he might spare a moment to think about how unexpected it was to be so powerfully moved by a stranger (a cute stranger who’d saved his life, granted), but not now.

“How is he?”

“He lost some blood, will need stitches on his arm and he has a few fractured ribs, but he’s stable. He’s going to be fine. After he stops trying to get out of bed to talk to you, we might actually be able to treat those things with something other than bandages.”

If Erik had thought the first wave of relief was powerful, he was not prepared at all for the second.

She sighed deeply and gestured to the double doors from which she had emerged. “This way.”

He followed her a short way down the hall, nearly stepping on her heels each step of the way. She stopped so abruptly before they entered the room that Erik nearly ran straight into her back.

“I should warn you that he’s... well, you’ve both been through a trauma. The mind processes such things in all sorts of ways. If he doesn’t seem... ‘all there’ don’t be overly concerned. Play along, don’t distress him further.”

Charles certainly hadn’t been ‘all there’ at the scene of the accident. His bizarre last words kept spinning through Erik’s head at random intervals— you are so loved. On their own, they were strange enough, but the reverence of Charles’ tone had sunk the words into Erik’s bones like a telepath projecting the emotion behind what they were saying. He hadn’t heard the words, he’d felt the words. Even if Charles was a telepath, it didn’t make them make anymore sense. More forthcoming then... he nodded at the doctor.

“You’re here!” Charles beamed at him from his sitting position on the hospital bed, looking much happier than anyone had any right to be in his situation. “And, you look well. Are you well?”

Charles did too, relatively speaking. He was a little pale, a little bruised but nowhere close to as bad as Erik had expected. Though the car had clipped him as he’d tackled Erik out of the way, it seemed to have been a case of looking much worse than it was at the scene. Small miracles.

“I’m fine.” Fine enough, at any rate. Like Charles, he was understandably bruised, and it was probably going to hurt more in the morning, but his suit had taken the harder beating. Between contact with the pavement and Charles’ blood, there would be no saving it, not that that mattered in the slightest. “You’re the one who was bleeding out all over me. How are you?”

Erik was sitting at his bedside now, the doctor presumably hovering in the background for all Erik’s attention was on Charles. The man in question blinked, cocking his head slightly to the side and giving Erik’s question a more thorough consideration than Erik would have thought necessary.

“I really don’t know,” he finally answered. Charles stretched his injured arm out in front of him, now bandaged (if not stitched) and looked at it with a plainly perplexed expression. “I’ve never been hurt before you know. It’s curious... interesting, but I don’t at all recommend it.”

“You were hit by a car.” Erik couldn’t help but be amused. Perplexed Charles was endearing. “Not something that happens to a person every day.”

“Quite.” Charles conceded the point. He went from staring at his arm to deliberately poking his own rib cage, and subsequently wincing. “You’re all very fragile, you know. So much could kill you every single minute of your life and yet so many of you manage to survive until old age. How do you do it? I’ve only just arrived and I’ve already nearly died.”

He turned his focus from his ribs to Erik and genuinely looked as though he were waiting for a response. Erik opened his mouth and then closed it. Despite the doctor’s suggestion to ‘play along’ he didn’t have one. Erik decided to change course.

“The hospital needs your personal information— last name, address, insurance.”

“Oh, well, that’s easy enough. I don’t have a last name. Just Charles. Or an address for that matter. I feel it’s unlikely my former profession came with any benefits.” Charles suddenly laughed. “That’s not true. It absolutely had many benefits, but certainly not State Farm. Besides, I’m no longer working for Him.”

The emphasis on the last word was... odd. Was Erik supposed to know who he was?

“I was... goodness. I was fired I suppose. Fired. That means I’m—I’m unemployed. For the first time in a millennia, I’m... on the pogey!” He laughed a little harder, the edge of hysteria he’d had at the scene worming its way back in. “Wait, no, you don’t say that anymore, do you?”

Pogey?

“Oh you look so confused. I apologize. It’s a Canadian phrase come to think. Or it used to be, a century ago.”

Shit.

Had Charles hit his head? Was this some kind of bizarre amnesia? The doctor hadn’t mentioned either possibility but... Erik side-stepped again.“How about family? Is there someone I can call and let them know you’re here? Maybe they can provide your information?”

The shift in Charles’ expression and demeanour was so abrupt and dramatic that Erik’s gut clenched. The stunning blue eyes that had stared up at him with such naked concern and relief, took on an unmistakable sheen. The wetness made them impossibly bluer, an unnatural colour that was as striking as it was otherworldly. The tears did not fall, yet Erik somehow knew that Charles would cry beautifully if they did. Erik somehow also knew what the response was going to be before he uttered it.

“No. There is no one. Not anymore.”

Erik surprised himself by doing something he would normally never do, under any circumstance, even with someone he knew well, let alone someone he had just met. He reached out and took Charles’ hand, squeezing it gently. His was a pain Erik was all too familiar with.

“It’s all right. We’ll... we’ll figure this out. You’re Charles. You saved my life. You have me. That’s all we need to know right now. Don’t worry about the insurance or anything else.”

Charles stopped staring out into the middle-distance and focused on Erik. “Truly, you don’t owe me anything.”

Erik snorted. “The hell I don’t. Besides, we’ve got to get you healed up. I can’t take you to the diner in this state. We’ve got date, remember? So there you are. Here you think I’m indebted, but really my reasons are purely selfish. You’re hot and I want to date you. Humour me.”

The wetness retreated and that red mouth quirked up into a small smile.

“As long as you’re being self-centred.”

“Oh, trust me, I am.”

Somewhere behind them, someone cleared their throat. Erik turned. Oh, right, the doctor. “As much as I would love to watch the two of you keep flirting, we need to take care of those injuries.”

She was right, so Erik reluctantly stood and even more reluctantly released Charles’ hand.

“I’ll be back later, so stop trying to leave and let them take care of you, all right?”

Charles nodded. “If you insist.”

“I do.”

Erik forced himself to turn and exit the room. Only after he’d left it, did he truly exhale. Charles was okay. Charles was okay. Charles was flirting even... well, possibly. They were still on for that date. Erik took a few much needed breaths and strode more determinedly, and much less frantically, back toward the nurses’ desk. He would take care of this.

He would take care of Charles.

Thanks for reading 😊. I really hope inspiration continues to strike because I’ve had a lot of fun with this thus far.

On to chapter 2 part 1

#cherik #cherik fan fic #cherik fanfic #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #pinkoptics fic #fallen angel fic

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jadoue1999 · 3 years

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The X-Men and the member they lost (sequel to Wanda and the life she deserved)

Summary: *Important to have read "Wanda and the life she deserved (She'll make sure of it)" at least until chapter 4 or 7 (Though until the end is the best) Sister fic, it goes before, during and after "Wanda and the life she deserved (She'll make sure of it)"* Peter is missing and all they can find is a transmission of a Wanda Maximoff. The team will do what they can to bring their missing member back from whatever this place is. Though someone needs to do the difficult thing and tell Erik that he once again lost his family.

Next parts: chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8,

Chapter 1: Missing

Peter was fiddling with his Walkman, switching between songs, he wasn’t sure what he was in the mood for. He finally settled on a random one, not really caring about his choice. He was thinking way too quickly to concentrate on a song anyway. Erik was back at the mansion, he had showed up, unannounced and walked in like he owned the place. Maybe he did, who knew what was going on between him and Charles. He didn’t stay with the students, preferring the company of the professor. The speedster had no idea where he could have gone, it’s not like he could rent a room or a house without immediately being recognized, but the last year seemed to prove the contrary. Though, Peter now faced a dilemma, he could pull off a reverse Darth Vader and tell him he was his son (hopefully without the hand chopping and the rejection) or he could just let it be and not bring it up? Raven would certainly give him death glares if he did nothing. But for now, he was alone and unsure of what to do.

I had a brother

Peter removed his headphones in confusion, what was that voice? It almost felt... familiar?

His name was Pietro

The speedster froze as he heard his name, his birth name. One he hadn’t used since he was a child and his mom decided that having an Americanised name would be easier. The only person that knew it was his mom and-

No, it couldn’t be her, she had died years ago, Wendy couldn’t possibly be calling him. Just as he pushed away his hope, his room was suddenly bathed in a red glow. The very same color of his twin’s magic, or wiggly woos as he liked to call them, had been. He slowly saw a flicker of red light materializing in the middle of his floor. The flicker grew bigger and bigger, and he watched it, entranced by the magic he hadn’t seen in nearly 15 years. He couldn’t look away and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

‘Be with me...’ The voice called out to him again, sounding more desperate. He put his Walkman at his side and stepped out of his bed. On the contrary to the two other times, it hadn’t felt like someone had spoken. It was more of an involuntarily projected thought. Like his sister had sometimes done when she made a nightmare and accidentally projected it to the whole neighborhood. The portal grew bigger, and Peter felt drawn to it. He took a breath, should he follow the voice? No, definitely not. Could it kill him or harm him in any way? Most definitely. Would he let that stop him if it gave him a chance to see Wendy again? No, he had to try.

He took a step forward and was greeted by red lights wrapping over him and dragging him in the portal. He was vaguely aware of the feeling of free falling into an endless void and then Peter knew no more.

...

“Has anyone seen Peter?” Kurt asked as he walked into the cafeteria. He had expected the speedster to be eating his weight in food like he usually did in the morning, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Not sure,” answered Scott, between two bites, “but knowing the guy, he probably took a casual stroll to Europe because he wanted real crepes.”

Jean nodded in agreement and Kurt felt his worries subdue as the teen spoke. It was logical, Peter had done it quite a few times before. He would probably be back in the afternoon with stuff he had liberated and stories about whatever shenanigans he had gotten himself into. He let it go as he sat down next to Ororo and ate his own food, they talked about training and different strategies they could use for the next time they were in the danger room. Once their meal was done, Kurt went to the library, he had some reading to do. He spent the next few hours glossing through various books and accidentally scaring students when he teleported unexpectedly next to them to get a new novel. Diner time was approaching, and the mutant realized that Peter still wasn’t back. Fearing for the safety of his friend, he teleported himself in the main hall, where the professor usually was around that time. As expected, he was talking to Raven. He walked up to him as the professor turned around.

“Are you alright? I can hear your worry without any effort on my part.”

“It’s Peter, I think he’s missing,” declared Kurt with a grave look. The professor shared a glance with Raven before turning his wheelchair around and motioning forward.

“Come with me.”

...

Charles, like any sane human, was very concerned when Kurt shared his worries. He telepathically called the rest of the team to the briefing room, perhaps together they’d be able to solve this mystery. Once everyone had arrived, he filled them in and asked each of them when was the last time they had seen the speedster. Both Ororo and Kurt had seen him at diner the day before and Scott had seen his silver blur when he found himself suddenly covered in silly string and Jean laughing at him. No one had seen or sensed anything anormal about his behavior. Charles had then concluded that Cerebro should be used to try and locate him. Concentrating on the different mutants, he found no trace of him, no one had seen or heard him. No report of unexplainable disappearance of twinkies or records either. He removed the helmet with a sigh and exited the room. His disappointment must have been obvious because everyone suddenly started worrying, their thoughts all meddling in and all about their missing teammate.

“What if we went to check his room? Suggested Raven. “If that’s the last place he was, there might be clues there that might help.”

They all agreed, all hopeful that a logical and harmless reason was behind his sudden disappearance. The walk was a short one and the tension in the air was almost palpable, as if they were all expecting Peter to be sitting on his bed, laughing at them for worrying so much. When Scott opened the door, no such pleasure took place, it was unbearably empty. After combing his room for clues, the only positive thing they could think of was that there were no runaway notes, and the Walkman wasn’t there. That meant that Peter probably left willingly. Charles brought a hand to his face, deep in thoughts, he didn’t notice Jean stepping forward.

“Professor,” she said absently, “there’s this... strange energy.” She walked to the very middle of the room with her eyes closed and her palm stretched open. “Here. Something happened right here.”

The professor wheeled himself to his student and closed his eyes in concentration, trying to feel what Jean was perceiving. He frowned when he sensed nothing, “Are you sure?”

The redhead nodded, “yes, I can almost make out... voices? It’s hard to see.”

The room was quiet, no one seemed to know what to do. That is, until the white-haired teen spoke up. “Cerebro,” Ororo declared. She sighed when everyone looked at her confusedly, “she could show us what she sees with the machine. As far as I know, it amplifies powers.”

The professor looked at Raven, feeling ridiculous for not thinking about it before. He ordered Jean to make sure to keep the connection as everyone walked back to the room that kept Cerebro. They held their breath in anticipation as she put on the helmet and concentrated even harder. For a few seconds, nothing happened. They were about to admit defeat when piano was suddenly heard throughout the room, followed by, what seemed to be a 1950s sitcom. They all watched in silence as the footage unfolded in front of them.

‘Oh, a newlywed couple just moved to town

A regular husband and wife’

Scott snorted at that remark, “sure, a normal couple where the husband needs to hide his face from the neighbors.” Ororo smiled at his joke before focusing on the screen once again.

‘Who left the big city to find a quiet life’

The team froze as the woman made a ‘sold’ sticker appear on the sign at the front of their house. They continued watching as the husband walked through the door, without his bride. He opened it and took her in his arms again, passing through the sofa as the lyrics chanted.

‘WandaVision!

She’s a magical gal in a small-town locale

He’s a hubby who’s part machine

How will this duo fit in and pull through?

By sharing a love like you’ve never seen

WandaVision!’

The song ended with them sharing a kiss and then the episode started. But the group didn’t focus on it, instead, they all looked at Charles for answers as the woman was identified as Wanda Maximoff. Jean paused the transmission, seemingly in control of the broadcast.

“What does this mean? Is she a mutant?”

If he was honest with himself, the professor had no clue, it did look like a normal sitcom, complete with practical effect, but it didn’t make sense. How could the energy responsible for Peter’s disappearance lead to this? The woman couldn’t simply be a normal actress, the very concept of the show was too strange for it to be a coincidence. And then there was her name: Wanda Maximoff. It had to mean something.

“Does...” started Raven, looking as confused as everyone else. “Does Peter have a sister named Wanda?”

Jean got up from the chair as she removed the helmet. “He did mention a sister, but she’s about ten years younger, her name was Lorna, I think?”

Ororo and Kurt nodded in agreement. Still, that didn’t answer the question. Who was this Wanda and what role had she played in Peter’s disappearance? Or did she have nothing to do with it and she was a victim as well? They decided to continue the broadcast, perhaps playing it would reveal some answers.

They quickly learned that it truly was a stereotypical 1950s sitcom, minus all the magic. The classic misinterpreted conversation gag was the main plot point, which lead to a strange encounter with the husband’s boss. It also turned out that the android, Vision as he called himself, could change his appearance to look human. They all felt uneasy as the couple was questioned about their past, the boss getting angrier and angrier. Suddenly, he began to choke on something, and the camera plans became all wrong and the wife kept telling her husband to stop being silly, but he continued choking. Nobody seemed to be able to do anything. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the robot saved his boss, which apparently marked the end of scene for these two characters. They left quickly which both Wanda and Vision were relived about. Interestingly, they constructed their past and the episode ended.

As the credit rolled, the team was meet with a thousand questions and not many answers. Everyone was silent, but Charles could feel their thoughts racing through their heads, they were all confused.

“So... they’re all trapped?” Intervened Ororo. “Because it was obvious that neither Wanda or Vision had any idea what they were doing there and what their past was.”

The professor let his eyes examine the credits, it truly made no sense. They were only credited as their character names, did that meant that they were playing themselves? They didn’t seem forced to love one another, but they did seem on the run from something. Perhaps the creepy commercial had something to do with whatever danger they were escaping.

Kurt’s voice was what broke him from his thoughts. “Are there any other episodes?”

Jean sat down again and put the helmet back on, clearly exhausted from the previous episode. She concentrated for a few seconds before shaking her head.

“I can’t see anything, but I might just be tired.”

She removed the helmet and Scott held out a hand to help her up. Everyone walked back to their own room, promising to start searching for solutions in the morning.

...

It had been a few days since the first episode had been discovered. Hank had made adjustments to the machine so it could be broadcasted at any time and without the need for Jean to be there. He also made sure that they would be alerted if another episode were shown. The scientist had also been the one to suggest that they should be tracking the signal to its source. Perhaps this Wanda woman could lead them to their missing teammate. The only downside was that he needed Jean to work with him since she could feel the energy and determine if it was the right frequency.

That’s what the pair were doing, under Charles supervision, when the screen surrounding Cerebro suddenly light up. He mentally called the others, and they were in the room just as the episode started. Nothing much happened other than the magic show, and a bad cut when the radio glitched. There were also the creepy cultish way people kept repeating “for the children” but it might have been 60s idea of humor. Other than that, everything seemed fine. They were now back at their house when the woman got up and was suddenly pregnant.

“I might be behind on the human body,” interrupted Kurt, clearly lost, “but doesn’t it take longer than a few minutes for a baby to grow that size?”

Charles kept looking at the screen, he was now convinced that this woman wasn’t just a normal human. A banging outside the couple’s house frightened them and they ran outside. The X-Men watched in astonishment as a beekeeper slowly emerged out of the sewers under the scared eyes of the pair. When the unknown man suddenly turned his head, the professor watched in stunned silence as the camera was once again in the woman’s face, who seemed more determined than ever.

“No,” Wanda said.

There was a rewind effect, and the couple was back in their living room, acting as if nothing happened. Then the screen changed from black and white to full color. The team was surprised to see the man was bright red and the woman had hair a similar shade to Jean. The episode ended with them watching tv. Nobody talked for awhile, they weren’t sure what they just witnessed. Was the woman aware of what was happening? If she was trapped, it was obvious she had a certain control over her environment. Could it be a prison that she was kept in for everyone’s safety? How was Peter involved with this woman?

“What are your theories?” Asked the professor to his surrounding students.

“I think she’s the one controlling it,” intervened Scott. “The rewind showed us that much.”

“Yeah, but she was just as lost last episode, what if she got trapped there by accident and acts on instinct to protect herself?” Raven argued.

“I don’t think it’s just a show,” interrupted Hank, walking forward to the commands. He was looking over the part where the radio had glitched, playing the part just before the bad cut. “There’s someone calling to her. I think we might be viewing a parallel universe.”

Scott stepped in closer to Jean and took her hand, making sure she was alright before turning to Hank. “A parallel universe? Is that even possible?”

Charles sighed, “we don’t know the extent of this woman’s power, perhaps she is able to broadcast her life without knowing it.”

A sudden gasp from Jean made everyone turn to her. She was grasping her head in pain, using Scott as a way to stabilize herself. “There’s another transmission!” She screamed as the screens lit up once again.

They were now in the 70s, both of the couple’s hair had changed to fit the era. They watched as the pregnancy took all but one day to get to full term. The inconveniences of being pregnant were covered up by silly jokes and puns, such as showing that her water broke by the sprinklers activating. As Vision was off to get the doctor, Wanda was distracted by the doorbell and the woman she had met last episode came in. She was, of course, oblivious to the pregnancy. It went by quickly, Wanda tried to hide her belly as she could but then she went into labor. Geraldine helped her deliver the first child as Vision came back. The X-Men all frowned as it was revealed that she still had another child on the way.

‘Twins, a clever way to fix the name discourse,’ thought Charles to himself.

Wanda was now watching over the twins, her friend walked over, congratulating her on the sudden birth of not one but two babies.

“I’m a twin”

A quiet “what” was heard from Scott, Charles saw him look around, probably wondering if he had heard right.

“I had a brother. His name was... Pietro,” the redhead seemed lost in thoughts as she began to sing to her boys in a language they couldn’t understand. The group was stunned as they watched her rock her babies. The professor was feeling all kinds of weird; did she mean Peter? Had she killed him for the sake of a plot point?

“He was killed by Ultron, wasn’t he?”

Charles felt slight relief, perhaps it didn’t have anything to do with the speedster, because he was alive and well as far as he knew. Perhaps the brother’s name was a simple coincidence.

They watched in muted horror as Wanda turned to her friend, asking her to explain herself. Geraldine played dumb, but it was obvious that it was just a cover up. The woman was aware of the sitcom world. The confrontation escalated to a point where both were hostile to each other. Both trying to get answers. The tension was immense and when it seemed like something horrible would actually happen- Nothing did. There was another cut and then Wanda was once again watching the twins, alone this time.

After the strange talk Vision had with their neighbor, he ran back in, asking his wife about Geraldine’s whereabouts.

“Oh, she left, honey,” Wanda said in a sing song voice, “she had to rush home.”

The camera focused on her face, showing her eyes that had a slight glint of determination. It was no doubt she had gotten rid of her neighbor. They briefly talked about leaving, something Wanda didn’t seem keen on and the episode ended with them watching television with their children in their arms.

“What... the... hell?” Came Raven’s voice. The others had to agree, it was by far the most unsettling episode they had seen. Charles was asking himself the same question as everyone else in the room. Was Wanda the true villain?

73 notes · View notes

teddy06writes · 3 years

Text

The Phantom Of The Opera AU

requested by this anon: “Okay so I know you’re a musical kid so you have probably listened to/heard of Phantom of the Opera. Picture this: Dream as the Phamtom x Fem!reader as Christine x Sapnap as Raul”

Dream x Fem!reader and Sapnap x fem!reader (with dream as the phantom and sapnap as Raul)

trigger warnings: death, dream being a low key creeper, maybe some swears, my general lack of knowledge of this musical

premise: Phantom AU, not neccicarily the full story, its mainly what I’ve seen/read/listened to that I think is important, and like eight of the songs. Ummm, I feel like the summary above is enough for you to get the general idea.

(y/l/n)- your last name

“blep” regular talking

“Belp” singing

When things are in counterpoint, regular text will be (y/n), (text in parenthesis is sapnap), and {bracketed text is Dream}

if you, like me are unfamilliar with the story, this is the summary that arrived in my inbox last night (thank you so much to the person who sent that by the way, it really helped)

“So basically phantom of the opera is a love triangle between 3 people, the Phantom (P) x Christine (C) x Raul (R). C and R were childhood friends until R had to move away. C grew up in the Opera house with her dad (deceased) as a music writer. C grows up getting “private” singing lessons from P ( he is literally talking to her through a vent ((Among Us omg)) or something idk). Fast forward into the future to present day. C is a ballerina at the opera and one day, the phantom makes the set malfunction so that the lead female opera singer (she’s a jerk. Forgot her name) can’t preform and C has to preform as the lead instead. Coincidentally, the night Christine sings as the lead is the day R comes to see her show and R is like “ooWooga she be fine now ig”. R and C catch up after the show and R goes away for a minute and then P is like “aight C imma kidnap you for a sec with no purpose whatsoever to the plot except for a cool song” and then C returns to her normal life ig. P them sends stuff to the people in charge of the Opera saying “ayo C be pretty fine, let her be the lead again” the people in charge of the opera were like “nah fam, let’s have the person who was supposed to be the lead be the lead”. Upset by this, during the show, P broke the chandelier and it fell into the audience. C is like “I love you uwu” R is like”let’s get engaged” C is like “let’s keep it a secret so the crazy P guy doesn’t find out” and little did they know during that conversation P was hiding and overheard everything and is now sad boi hours. A masquerade happens and P shows up like “ayo I heard you trynna steal my boo” and R is like “nah she my boo” and they duel or whatever. Idk how it transitions to this but the Opera runs another show and they make C the lead to not upset P. However, during a love song (Past the point of no return, it literally slaps), C realizes that the person singing isn’t the original actor, it is P! And then P straight up kidnaps C after the song, takes her to his lair and is like “boo you gotta marry me or I destroy the opera house with everyone inside it” C is like “fine ig” P takes off his mask and reveals he is hiding burn marks and he kisses C and C kisses back. P is like” my mom never even kissed me” and P let’s C go, telling her to go marry R... or you can just watch this video lmao https://youtu.be/4a5nahw3zi8″

On that note, here we go:

{that only goes for the final scene where its all three, it varies otherwise}

{Things I have learned while preparing this story, 1. the actual phantoms name is Erik, like what a nerd, 2. he’s also not actually a ghost??? He’s literally just some creeper who lives in an opera house screwing with people; also yes Eret is the strict lady who yells at everyone and talks to the phantom, deal with it}

{pls send me more musical au asks I really liked doing this, even if it took me a while}

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The ravenous applause of the audience seemed to echo in your ears, even after you had left the stage.

You’re debut as the female lead in Hannibal had been a smashing success, and as the rest of the chorus girls backstage were saying, it was all thanks to the Phantom scaring Hannah off.

Niki practically ran up to you from the rehearsal room, “(y/n) that was incredible!”

You grinned, “Oh I feel like I’m floating Niki! Thank you for volunteering me for the role.”

“Don’t thank me, Thank whoever's giving you those lessons,” She bumped her hip against yours, grinning cheekily, “And if what the girls are saying is true you’ll have to thank him for getting Hannah out of here.”

You chuckled, but before you could say anything else Madame Eret was approaching, knocking the end of their cane of the ground, “Miss Nihachu, you are a dancer are you not?”

Niki nodded.

“Then get back to rehearsal,” he waited until Niki hurried off to turn to you, “He is most pleased with your performance, here.”

You took the note from him, reading over it quietly, “Red scarf..... the attic.... little lotte?”

She simply shrugged, leaving you to turn and head up your dressing room.

As you changed out of your costume from the show you couldn’t help but hum the song that had earned the most applause, “Think of me, think of me of me fondly, when we’ve said goodbye.”

Reaching around you found your dressing gown, pulling it on and tying up the front, “Remember me, once and a while. Please, promise you’ll try...”

Your words faded off as your sat down at your vanity, beginning to brush out your hair.

“Where is your red scarf Miss (y/l/n)? I hope you haven’t lost it. Not after all the trouble I went through to retrieve it for you.”

You turned to see a tall dark hair man standing in the doorway, a grin spreading across your face as he continued, “I was only 14 and soaked to the bone...”

“Because you ran into the sea to fetch my red scarf!” You exclaimed, jumping up and flinging your arms around him excietedly, “Sapnap! How I’ve missed you!”

He chuckled, pulling away, and offering you a single red rose, “(y/n)... Little Lotte let her mind wander...”

“You remember that too?” You asked with a giggle.

Sapnap smiled and kept singing, “Little Lotte thought: am I fonder of dolls,”

“Or of goblins or shoes?” You joined in, “Or of riddles of frocks, or chocolates.”

“Those picnics n the attic...” He reminisced.

You closed your eyes, remembering those long ago days, “Father playing the violin.”

“As we read each other those dark stories of the north.”

“No what I like best, little Lotte said, is when I’m asleep in my bed,” You sang, “And the angel of music sings songs in my head!”

“The angel of music sings songs in my head.” He repeated softly.

You smiled at him, an excited fond feeling forming in your stomach as you sank back into your chair, “Father said, when I am in heaven child I will send the angel of music to you. Well now father is dead, Sapnap. And I have been visited by the angel of music.”

“Well that is very evident,” He chuckled, taking your hands, “Your performance was wonderful. And now, we shall go to supper.”

“Oh- sapnap I can’t, the angle of music is very strict.”

He didn’t seem to understand the urgency in your voice as he laughed again, “Well I shant keep you up late.”

“No- Sapnap, things have changed-”

“You have to change,” He interrupted, “And I have to grab my hat. Two minutes little lotte.”

As he went out the door you cried after him, “Sapnap! Thing have changed Sapnap!”

But he was out of earshot, and the voice that had become so familiar to you was booming, “Insolate boy! This Slave of fashion basking in your glory! Ignorant fool! This brave young suitor, sharing my triumph!”

“Angel I hear you! Speak, I listen! Stay by my side and gude me!” You begged up to the ceiling, “Angel my soul was weak! Forgive me! Enter at last master!”

“Flattering child, you shall know me, see why in the shadow I hide, look at your face in the mirror, I am their inside!”

The voice sounded closer now, and you couldn’t help but look around, “Angel of music! Hide no longer!”

You turned again, finding yourself face to face with what seemed like a mask, floating in your mirror, “Come to me, strange angel!”

“I am your angel! Come to me angel of music!”

A shadowy figure seemed to appear behind the smiling mask, a hand outstretched to you. In a daze you stood, grabbing his hand and allowing him to lead you away down a dark pathway.

“Who’s voice is that?” Sapnap asked, knocking on the now closed door, “(y/n) who’s in there?”

“Come with me angel of music!” Dream, the Phantoms voice echoed again.

“(y/n)!”

“In sleep he came to me, the voice which calls to me and speaks my name!” You moved quietly through the passages, following Dream, “And Do I dream again? for now I find, the phantom of the opera is there, inside my mind!”

“Sing once again with me our strange duet! My power over you grows stronger yet! And though you turn from me to look behind, the phantom of the opera is there! Inside your mind!” He sang, turning back to make sure you were following once more.

The walls of the tunnel seemed to widen, and you could almost make out an empty candle lit space.

You reached out, fingers almost brushing the edge of his cloak, “Those who have seen your face draw back in fear! I am the mask you wear..”

“It’s me they hear...”

As you emerged into a cross roads of the tunnels, you sang in tandem, “Your (my) spirit and your (my) voice in one combined, the phantom of the opera is there, inside your (my) mind!”

He helped you into the boat that waited in one tunnel, before casting off, propelling the boat down the slow moving current, “In all your fantasies, you always knew the man and mystery...”

“Were both in you....” You sang softly as the boat came to dock in a wide chamber.

Slowly you climbed out of the boat after him, looking around the dank space, and at the organ in the corner.

Dream pulled off his cloak, “And in this labyrinth where the night is blind..”

“The Phantom of the opera is there! Inside my mind......”

As the people downstairs argued, you tried to think over what had happened. Was it a dream? It didn’t seem like it, but still, a man appearing in her looking glass? Taking her away and singing words of praise, words of love, words that made nearly no sense now that it was day, and a haze covered your memory.

The one thing that remained clear was the monster she had found beyond the mask.

All too soon it seemed you were being rushed into rehearsals, being told you no longer had a speaking role, as Hannah had returned, and was back to her diva ways.

Rehearsals that would normally drag on seemed to go quicker now, and soon you and the rest of the girls were getting ready for the performance.

“This is ridiculous,” Niki muttered as she adjusted her costume, “You should be playing the duchess, not Hannab.”

“Hannah is the featured soprano. She’s always the lead.” You retorted.

“But how will Sapnap know to look for you in the chorus?” Niki teased.

You elbowed her, laughing lightly, “Shut up. Besides I doubt the phantom would let him see me again.”

The show had gone well, at least until the fifth scene.

All the music stopped abruptly as a voice boomed, “Did I not instruct that box five was to be left empty?”

“He’s here: The Phantom Of The Opera!” Niki cried from offstage.

Your head jerked up to turn and look at the audience, “It’s Dream!”

“Your part is silent, you toad!” Hannah snapped.

From somewhere up in the audience Dream frowned, “A toad Madame? Perhaps it is you who is the toad...”

Hanna opened her mouth to continue on her script, but no sound seemed to come out, save for what was close the a croak.

The men who had bought the opera house, Wilbur and Tommy were coming rushing down from their box, “Ladies and gentlemen we apologize! The performance will continue in ten minutes time, with Miss (y/l/n) as the duchess!”

Tommy nodded as Wilbur finished, “And for now, we will give you the ballet, from act three of tonight's show!”

The ballet didn’t last long, as when you returned to the wings dressed for the new role you had been given, someone let out a horrified scream.

“What the-”

You were cut off as you looked up to see Shlatt, the stagehand in charged of the curtains, hanging from the rigging, a noose fully tightened around his neck.

“Ladies and gentlemen remain calm! It was just an accident- remain calm!” Someone shouted.

Through the darkness you could make out Dream’s menacing figure, the smiling mask watching you threateningly as you clamped your hand over your mouth to stop the scream that had ripped at your throat.

“(y/n)? (y/n) are you alright?” Sapnap had run down onto the stage in all the chaos.

“We- we have to get out of here,” You choked, grabbing his hand, “We aren’t safe here.”

He didn’t seem to understand the reason behind your panic, but even so he offer you his arm, “Lets leave then.”

Twenty minutes later you ended up in an empty park, the panic that filled your chest not yet fading as Sapnap asked, “Why have you brought me here?”

“We can’t go back there!” You exclaimed.

“But we must return.” He gripped your hands, “Darling their bound to be missing you.”

You shook your head, “Sapnap- He’ll kill you! His eyes will find us there!”

“(y/n), don’t say that! It’s okay (y/n), it’s okay!”

You looked up into the darkened sky, “No it’s not- no it’s not- Those eyes that burn!”

“Don’t even think it!” He cried desperately.

You couldn’t tell whether you were trembling from fear, or from the cold, as you sang, “And if he has to kill a thousand men....”

“Forget this waking nightmare!” Sapnap insisted.

“....The phantom of the opera will kill.” You sang distractedly.

He gripped your shoulders, “This phantom is a fable, (y/n), believe me!”

“And kill again....” You shuddered at the idea of Dream doing anything to Sapnap.

Both of you sang, “God who is this man, who hunts to kill? (this mask of death?)

“I can’t escape him!” You cried.

He shook his head, “Whose voice is it you hear...”

“...I never will!”

“With every breath?”

His grip on your shoulders tightened, pulling you closer to him as you both sang, “And in this labyrinth where light is blind, the phantom of the opera is there, inside my (your) mind!”

“There is no Phantom of the Opera!”

“Sapnap- I’ve been there, inside his world of never ending light! To a world where daylight dissolves into darkness, darkness! Sapnap I’ve seen him!” You cried. “Can I ever forget that sight? Can I ever escape that face? So distorted, disformed it was hardly a face! in the darkness, darkness. But his voice filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound in that night there was music in my mind And through music my soul began to soar! And I heard as I'd never heard before!”

“What you had was a dream and nothing more!”

You could hardly look up at him, “yet in his eyes was all the sadness in the world! Those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore!”

“(y/n), (y/n)!” Sapnap exclaimed.

“.....(y/n)......” A different voice seemed to cry into the night.

You gasped, pressing yourself against Sapnap, “What was that?”

He hugged you tightly, before pulling back and singing gently, “No more talk of darkness, forget these wide eyed fears. I’m here, and nothing can harm you, my words will warm and calm you.”

You relaxed into his grip, listening to his quiet voice, “Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears, I’m here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you.”

“Say you love me, every waking moment. Turn my head and talk of summer time,” You looked up at him, biting your lip, “Say you need me now and always, promise me that all you say is true, that's all I ask of you.”

“Let me be your shelter, let me be your light, you are safe, no one will find you. Your fears are far behind you.” He assured you, smiling softly.

“All I want is freedom, a world with no more night. And you to always be beside me, to hold me and to hide me.” You admitted.

Sapnap’s smile grew wider, “Then say you’ll share with me, one love, one life time. Let me lead you from your solitude. Say you need me here, beside you. Anywhere you go let me go too, (y/n), that's all I ask of you.”

“Say you’ll share with me, one love, one life time,” You repeated, “Say the word, and I’ll follow you.”

“Share each day with me, each night, each morning.” You sang together as he leaned down to rest his forehead on yours.

“Say you love me?”

He smiled, whispering, “You know I do.”

“Love me- that's all I ask of you.” You both sang, before he leaned in to gently press a kiss to your lips, “Any where you go, let me go too. Love me- thats all I ask of you.”

Sapnap kissed you again, before pulling away, “We could go anywhere- we could be married! You would marry me, yes?”

“Oh, yes, Sapnap, yes I would. If you’d have me.” You nodded, eagerly.

He grinned, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

You couldn’t help but giggle, before turning back toward the direction of the opera house, “I must go back, they’ll wonder where I am. Wait for me Sapnap!”

“(y/n), I love you!” He exclaimed.

“Wait for me, Sapnap. Order your finest horses and being waiting by the door.” You could go back, and continue working at the opera house, there was nothing left for you to fear while Sapnap was there.

“And soon you’ll be beside me!” He chuckled.

You grinned, “To guard me and too guide me!”

Sapnap offered you his arm again, and you headed off out of the park, toward the opera house.

Slowly, Dream slinked from the shadows where he had watched the proposal, “I gave you my music, made your song take wing. And now your repaid me, denied and betrayed me.”

He groaned running a hand through his hair, “He was bound to love you, when he heard you sing. (y/n)- oh (y/n)-”

He was cut off by the sounds of your voices drifting down the street, Say you’ll share with me, one love, one life time, Say the word, and I’ll follow you. Share each day with me, each night, each morning.”

Dream’s hands flew to his ears, desperate to block out the sounds- he had been so sure that you could’ve loved him, but now Sapnap was stealing you away.

“You will curse the day you did not do, all that the phantom asked of you!” He bellowed.

The following weeks at the opera house were a blur of panic masked by busyness, Wilbur and Tommy refusing to let the disaster of the chandelier falling from keeping the company from working on their next performance.

You kept on working, the ring on the chain Sapnap had given you around your neck helping you to feel safe, even as the chorus girls cited the Phantom for the cause of all the distress.

Now you were back in your dressing room, getting ready for dinner with Sapnap.

“Wander child, so lost, so helpless,” A soft voice seemed to drift down from no where, “Yearning for my guidance.”

You looked up at the ceiling, “angel or father? Friend or phantom? Who is it their staring?”

“Have you forgotten your angel?” The voice murmured, Dream appearing once again in your mirror.

You turned to him, almost in a trance, “angel, oh, speak, what endless longings, echo in this whisper.”

Sapnap, having arrived to the opera house appeared in the door, watched as you moved toward the phantom.

“Too long you’ve wandered the winter...” Dream continued to sing, hand outstretched to you.

“Once again she is his.” Sapnap sang, as you started to cross the room toward the mirror where the phantom stood.

“...far from my far reaching eyes.”

“Wildly my mind beats against you....” You sang, transfixed.

Behind the mask Dream grinned, “You resist. Yet your soul obeys.”

“Once again she returns, to the arms of her angel. Angel or demon? Still he calls her, luring her back from the grave. Angel or dark seducer? Who are you strange angel?” Sapnap sang, again, more to himself than you or Dream.

Dream beckoned you forward again, “I am your angel of music, come to me angel of music!”

“Angel of darkness, cease this torment!” Sapnap exclaimed, moving into the room properly and drawing attention to himself.

Dream unbothered, continued to sing, “I am your angle of music! Come to me angel of music!”

“(y/n), (y/n) listen to me! Whatever you may believe- this thing, this man is not your father!” Sapnap yelled, “(y/n)! Let her go! For gods sake let her go!”

Jarred by his sudden yell, you turned, the trance broken, “Sapnap...”

Dream, unimpressed, began to clap, deadpanning, “Bravo monsieur. Such spirited words.”

“No more tricks monsieur!” Sapnap yelled, stepping forward to put himself between you and Dream.

“Oh, but that's not any fun. Why don’t you come closer, sir? Keep coming this way.”

Sapnap, not liking to be challenged, stepped forward, “You cannot win her love by holding her prisoner!”

“No- Sapnap don’t!” You grabbed his hand, pulling him back.

He nodded resolutely, gripping your hand as you both moved toward the door, “Lets go then, no more time will be spent with this monster.”

“Don’t go!” Dream wailed as you hurried away down the hall, “Now let it be war upon you both!”

Something was going wrong, of course it was, because when was it not?

Your entrance in Don Juan Triumphant had gone according to plan, but the man who had stepped out as Don Juan was not George, as it should have been.

You steeled yourself, trying to come up with a logical reason.

George must have gotten sick, and a stand in had taken his place, yes that must be it.

“Past the point of no return, no backward glances, the games we played till now, are at an end.” The man sang, “Past all thought of ‘if’ or ‘when’, no use resisting, abandon that thought and let the dream descend.”

Your panic seemed to rise, the double meaning in his words filling you with dread.

“What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire locks the door? What sweet seduction lies before is? Past the point of no return, the final thread hold. What unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return.”

You moved carefully to your next mark, trying to work out who it was in George’s place, “You have brought me, to the moment when words run dry, to the moment when speech disappears into silence, silence.

I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why, in my mind I already imagined, our bodies entwined. Defenseless and silent, now I am here with you, no second thoughts, I’ve decided, decided.”

You just barley stopped from trembling as you realized, it was Dream, “Past the point of no return, no going back now. Our passion play has now, at last, begun. Past all thought of right and wrong. One final question: how long should we two wait, before we’re one?”

“When will the blood being to race? When will the sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last consume us?” You finished, taking an only slightly shaky breath.

The phantom grabbed your hand as you both sang, “Past the point of no return, the final threshold. The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn, we’ve past the point of no return!”

Everyone in the audience seemed to hold their breath, they too knew that this was not George. The cloak that had hidden Dreams mask fell, and they gasped upon seeing the plaster smiling face.

He grinned behind the mask, and punctuated, “Say you’ll share with me, one love, one lifetimes lead me, save me from my solitude.”

The words stung even before he pulled out a ring, holding it out to you, “come with me, or this whole place will come down upon us.”

Slowly you looked to the audience, Sapnap was standing in the isle, looking worried.

You couldn’t let him get hurt.

You nodded reluctantly, as he continued, “say you want me by your side anywhere you go let me go too, (y/n) that’s all I ask of-“

Slowly, you reached up, pulling the mask off his face, revealing the terribly scared face to the world.

The gasps turned into horrible screams as a curtain was raised, and Georges body tumbled onto the stage.

Almost immediately Dream flung his cloak around you, disappearing.

Sapnap ran up onto the stage, along with the crew, police officers and other patrons.

“Sapnap! Sapnap you’ve got to come with me!” Eret cried, rushing out onto the stage.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Sapnap!” They yelled again, “I know where they are!”

“But can I trust you?” He demanded.

She nodded, “yes, and remember, keep your hand up at eye level.”

“Why?”

“Punjab lasso.” Was all he offered in explication as he led Sapnap away.

Soon enough Sapnap was creeping through the shadows of the phantoms layer, watching as he tried to place a wedding veil on your head, “Too bad pity comes to late, turn around and face your fate, an entirety of this before your eyes!”

You turn to face him, looking up at the mess of scares that cover his face, “this haunted face holds no horror for me now, it is in your soul that the true distortion lies.”

The phantom turned suddenly, to Sapnaps hiding place, “Wait! I think, my dear, we have a guest! Sir, this is indeed an unparalleled delight! I had rather hoped that you would come And now my wish comes true— you have truly made my night!”

“Free her!” Sapnap yelled, stepping into the light, “do what you want to me but let her go!”

“Your lover makes a passionate plea.” Dream laughed at you.

“Sapnap it’s useless!” You cried.

Sapnap shook his head, “I love her! Does that mean anything To you? I love her! Show some compassion!”

“The world showed no compassion to me!” Dream retorted.

He reached out toward you, “(y/n), (y/n), please let me see her!”

Dream grinned maliciously, “be my guest.”

Sapnap rushed forwards, as Dream contiued to taunt, “Monsuier, i bid you welcome, did you think that I would hurt her? Why should I make her pay, for the sins which are yours?”

As he finished the last words the Punjab lasso came sailing out, and Sapnap barley had time to fling his arm back up as he was dragged back, the only thing keeping him from hanging being the fingers he’d wrangled between the rope and his neck.

“No!” You cried, struggling to your feet.

“Order your fine horses now!” Dream yelled, “Nothing now can save you, except maybe... (y/n).”

You stood, shaking as he turned to you, “Start a new life with me- buy his freedom with your love! Refuse me now and send your lover to his death! This is the choice, this is the point of no return!”

“(y/n), forgive me, please forgive me, I did it all for you, and all for nothing.” Sapnap sang, looking at you desperately.

At the same time you turned toward Dream, “Farewell my fallen idol, and my false friend, one by one my delusions shattered.”

“Too late for turning back, too late for prayers and useless pity!” Dream sang.

“{all hope of cries for help, no point in fighting!} (say you love and my life is over, either way you choose, he has to win!) {for ether way you choose, you cannot win! So do you end your days with me or do you send him to his grave?}”

“Why make her lie to you, to save me?” Sapnap yelled.

You looked between them desperately, “Angel of music..... {past the point of no return!} (For pity’s sake (y/n) say no! Don’t throw your life away for my sake!) Who deserves this? When will you see reason? {The Final threshold! His life is now the prize you must earn! You’ve passed the point of no return....}”

You looked at Dream, no longer trying to hide the fear that coursed through your veins, “Angel of music, you have deceived me, I gave myself blindly to you.”

“You try my patience! Make your choice!” Dream yelled.

Looking back at sapnap for a moment you stepped forward, whatever it would take, you would keep him safe, “Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known? God give me courage to show you, you are not alone.”

Reaching out, you took the mask from his hand, tossing it to the side as he moved closer to you as well.

Before you could hardly blink he was kissing you, and with little more than a second thought you kissed back.

Sapnap watched, in partials horror, until the phantom drew back, shaking as he whispered, “No one has ever kissed me- not even my own mother.”

You nodded, and then suddenly Dream began to move across the room, grabbing a knife from somewhere as he stalked up to Sapnap.

He paused for a beat, and you could feel the terror in the room- until he slashed at the rope, and Sapnap fell the ground.

You rushed over to him, kneeling beside him, “Sapnap! oh Sapnap!”

“Take her,” dream wailed, “Take her and forget me, forget all of this! Leave me alone- forget all you’ve seen....”

Sapnap struggled to his feet, holding you close to him as he backed towards the channel.

“Take the boat, leave me here, go now, please!”

The sounds of the mob looking for Georges murderer seemed to grow louder as they grew closer.

“Hurry! Now before its too late!” Dream yelled.

Sapnap hurriedly started to help you into the boat, but you pulled away, moving back to the Phantom, long enough to hand him the ring.

Then you were off, turning to Sapnap as the current carried the boat away, “I’m sorry Sapnap- I couldn’t let him hurt you- I couldn’t!”

“Shhh. It’s alright (y/n), it’s alright. He can’t hurt you anymore.” He murmured, pulling you into his arms.

“Say you’ll share with me, one love one lifetime.” You sang shakily.

Sapnap nodded, “Say the word and I’ll follow you.”

“Share each day with me, each night, each morning...” The sounds of your voices traveled back up the tunnel for Dream to hear.

He sighed, looking resolutly into the distance, “You alone can make my song take flight- It’s over now, the music of the night!”

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagines #dreamwastaken x reader #sapnap x reader #phantom of the opera #teddy06 writes

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wheel-of-fish · 4 years

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By the Numbers Jöback, Hill, Stolle

By the Numbers: The Peter Jöback/Samantha Hill/Jeremy Stolle Stream, August 15, 2020

A more timely roundup! The things that can be accomplished without a kitten on your head!

This was a fascinating boot, featuring a Phantom with a lovely Swedish accented tenor voice, Samantha “too sweet to be hot, except to the Phantom” Hill, and release-the-thirst-floodgates Jeremy Stolle. The Stolle thirst was boundless. The Stolle thirst was all encompassing. There was scarcely a vocal phrasing, gesture, line read or body part that was not only mentioned but gushed over. I did not even begin to count the ways. Every category would have been “greater than infinity”. And, every comment was true. This man delivered! From the height of his tallness to the depths of his deep baritone, Stolle was on a roll in this boot. The boot itself was very good quality, only one large Head occasionally swallowing the action like a black hole. Very worth seeing! The passion of the AIAOY Kiss is matched only by the physics involved in making it happen between oh so tall Stolle and oh so small Hill. But true love always finds a way!

Suggested names for this boot: Jöback in Black Boot, IKEA Phantom Boot, Stolle the Show Boot (Okay, nobody suggested these. It was me. I suggested these. The first one was from Fish’s password for this stream, though!)

Statistician’s Favorite Boot Name: The FÅNTØM Boot (again, nobody’s suggestion but mine, spelling courtesy of missbuster)

Wow, we like to talk about Phantoms: Well this week, we seemed to talk about everybody except other Phantoms. Oh sure, some were mentioned, but let’s mix it up and see what other names were dropped this week. Supply your own context for even greater amusement, because heaven knows you won’t find it here. These numbers are a lot more accurate because, again, no kitten on head this week. It occurs to me that instead of meticulous record keeping, I could just make crap up. Not this week. Maybe next week. All these people were genuinely mentioned in this week’s stream.

Carly Rae Jepsen (7), Vin Diesel (1), John Travolta (3), Antonio Banderas (5), Hugh Jackman (3), Ian McKellen (3), Judy Dench (1), Emmy Rossum (2), Anne Hathaway (4), Russell Crowe (3), Patrick Wilson (1), James Corden (1), Rebel Wilson (1), Hadley Fraser (1), Kelly O’Hara (1), Francesca Hayward (1), Michael Gruber (1)

Fond mentions of 1998 “Cats”: 6

Mentions of 2019 “Cats”: 12 (I have left out any adjectives as most were Not Charitable.)

Opinions that “Cats” should only be done as an animation: 2

Oh, hey, yeah, another Phantom, mentions of Gerard Butler: 5 (I have left out any adjectives as most were along the lines of Bless His Heart)

Oh, hey, yeah, another Phantom, mentions of Paul Stanley: 14 (I have left out any adjectives as most were somewhere between Not Charitable and Bless His Heart)

Wishes for Rose to have good luck on her date while the rest of us stayed glued to our monitors on a Saturday night: 9

Inappropriate Random Zoom: to Christine’s dressing table during Raoul’s visit (not NEARLY as inappropriate as the Random Zoom to Barbara the mannequin’s doors of summer during last week’s stream.)

Self-Caress mentions: 3 (The Phantom. The PHANTOM. Not whatever you were thinking.)

What scent are the Phantom’s candles: Hopeless Mist (no, the Phantom’s candles were not discussed this week. As the creator of the candle line which includes Underground Despair, I have decided to use this statistical summary to focus group test additional scentsations suitable for the Phantom’s Lair. You are warned that this may be an Ongoing Feature.)

For Science mentions: 6

Boner mentions: 2 (I will not name names, you know who you are)

Apparent confirmation of boner mentions by people noticing Christine looking down during The Sprawl: 3

Is there any safe way to say that boner mentions are ummm trending downward?: No

Unofficial Dialogue: “TA DAAA” when the Phantom reveals the mirror bride (courtesy Wheel-of-fish, who just barely beat haunted-hideaway to it)

Outrageous Rumors Category:

“Carly Rae Jepsen as Meg…..A dream”—deardaaery

“Carly Rae Jepsen played Meg???” –mrskroger

“I love how these streams can be used to start outrageous rumors”—Aldebaran

“rushing to tumblr to tell everyone about carly rae jepsen playing meg”—Wheel-of-fish

“Vin Diesel played Raoul, fact”—Aldebaran

IKEA mentions: 10

Suggestions for additional characters Jeremy Stolle could play in the All Stolle Show (phantom-of-the basement): Mirror Bride (christinegrrl), Monkey Music Box (Flora-Gray), Madame Firmin (ktarinajones)

Everyone’s a critic: “First review for the all stolle show has to be “he stolle the show” otherwise it’s a missed opportunity”—butdreamsofbeauty

The Phantom’s pillows mentions: 7

People of the opinion that the Phantom should use one of his 600 pillows as a cushion for fainted Christine’s head: 2 (question and number of pillows estimated by ashadeintheshade)

Vintage madamefaust on the Pillow Question:

Look, he took a long time arranging those pillows. They’re from Pier One, they’re expensive, he doesn’t want to put them on the floor.

Erik has skillz:

“You know he’s handy. Everything is probably homemade. Bitch can sew a hem.”—Melancholy’s Child

“Erik as a contestant on Project Runway”—Benny-Lynne

“I’m convinced he hand-sewed the Red Death costume.”—haunted-hideaway

“Five and half months working on that Red Death cosplay”—yamiangie

“has a “Red Death” pintrest”—blahahala

Outrageous Rumors Part Two:

“The pillows are hot-glued to the boat”—wheel-of-fish

People who fell for the Phantom hot-gluing pillows to the boat: 4

Outrageous Rumors Part Three

“Carly Rae Jepsen hot glued those pillows”—wheel-of-fish

We stan a crafty Phantom:

“I just like the idea of Erik with a glue gun”—wheel-of-fish

“erik bedazzling things”—butdreamsofbeauty

“He DEFINITELY has a bedazzler.”—madamefaust

“erik bedazzles his own capes”—christinegrrl

“erik with a staple gun putting pillows on a boat: KACHUNK”— phantomofthebasement

Barbara Speaks:

“Being a mirror bride must be a hard job”—mrskroger

“damn straight”—the-real-barbara

Rare Don Atillio appreciation mention: 1

Andre’s probable fear of ballerinas mentions: 6 (as suggested by madamefaust)

Andre’s issue gets a name: Tutuphobia—Aldebaran

Possible alternate ending for POTO:

There’s like 8 ballerinas….if they all came together the Phantom would have no chance.—hell-lawliet

That’s why Buquet always carries a noose, fear of ballerinas–Aldebaran

AIAOY Kiss comments: 45 comments in 24 seconds

Requests for AIAOY Kiss replay: 6 (replay occurred)

Incorrect use of the Raoul as an International Unit of Measure: 1 (I misstated in the stream that Christine would be 1.62 Raouls in height. This is clearly false, as it would make her much taller than Raoul, who is already impossibly tall. Using as our values Mr. Stolle at 6’3” and Ms. Hill at 5’4”, Christine’s height expressed in Raouls would be .8533 Raouls. The statistician regrets the error. This is why maybe I should just make crap up next time. No, I will not convert the heights to the metric system.)

Debut of IKEA Phantom:

“And the Phantom is just quietly weeping in the angel because…even he knows that is a hard act to follow”—madamefaust

“That is a kiss to cause a Phantom mental breakdown for sure”—Flora-Gray

“oh no the ikea phantom becomes unassembled”—Aldebaran

“he wasn’t anchored to the wall”—Benny-Lynne

“Someone get the allen wrench, we need to put back together a saad boi”—haunted-hideaway

Unholy Trinity of Cooper/Thiago/Uwe mentions: 1 (by madamefaust, who perhaps is protected by the sheer power of her vast Phannish humor and talent. Please do not invoke the Unholy Trinity on a whim yourself.)

Respect given to Steve Barton in the form of “Fs”: 11 (entirely appropriate at any time but especially during a boot with such a stellar Raoul)

Red Death as a Swedish Fish mentions: 3 (not to his face, never to his face)

“tiny swedish fish red death”—Aldebaran

“HE IS A SWEDISH FISH”—madamefaust

“the most dramatic swedish fish”—butdreamsofbeauty

Best from Onthevirg’s Mom: “We should talk about Phantom Jaws”

Fathering Gaze lyric: 1

Split decision on the statement by mrskroger that Wandering Child has a strong Daddy’s Home vibe:

*Strong NO from Wheel-of-fish

*Strong YES from Benny-Lynne

That staff tho:

“Fire Pez One. Fire Pez Two.”—Aldebaran

“Skeletor Pez Dispenser”—DoCTy

“I wonder what it’s like to be that dramatique that you fashion a staff that shoots fire”—haunted-hideaway

“He probably bedazzled the staff as well”—Aldebaran

“oh he definitely bedazzled it”—christinegrrrl

“ ‘bedazzled staff’ definitely sounds like something hmm”—onthevirg

Number of audience cell phone rings at insanely crucial moments: 1

Attempting to bring Logic to PONR:

“I know it’s a plot device, but who has a hood that big, really?”—haunted-hideaway

“THIS IS THE EXACT SAME MAN. MUCH STEALTH. SUPER INCOGNITO”—madamefaust

“Yeah, I don’t know guys…I don’t think that’s Piangi…?” —Flora-Gray

“yeah swedish italian accent is a giveaway”–Aldebaran

Education of the Innocent:

“ok, I don’t know The Lore, why do we call her Barbara”—butdreamsofbeauty

“Haunted named her in a stream. She said: ‘Her name is Barbara and she had hopes and dreams once.’ I said I would never forget it and I have not.”–Aldebaran

The mob storms IKEA:

“time to flat pack the FÅNTØM”—missbuster

“So you’re saying Stolle should just squash the Phantom” —GlassPrism

“he comes apart for easy handling”—missbuster

“Get the Allen wrench”—madamefaust

Reactions to the Phantom after Christine’s final exit: 37 comments in 59 seconds

Sad comment is sad: We don’t even need the allen wrench, he came apart on his own. – madamefaust

Things I wish I had said:

“Moist Raoulette”—haunted-hideaway

“no Tol Raol Pol?”—missbuster, at not seeing Raoul boating away post Final Lair

“No Stolle Tolle Rolle Polle?”—missbuster, with continued disappointment

Dreams do come true:

You know. If you had told 14 year old me that in the future I could watch Phantom EVERY WEEKEND I would have died on the spot—missbuster

Statistician Aldebaran’s two no three favorite personal quotes:

re: Jöback “He crawls with an accent”

“Raoul conveniently wore a ladder jacket to make it easier for Christine to climb”

“Erik is just in a perpetual state of PONR”

Thank you as always for the submission, kind statistician Aldebaran!

#gooood stuff #saturday streams #submission #aldebaran #by the numbers

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darkskyatnight · 4 years

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All of the avengers were either seriously suicidal or casually suicidal throughout the series. Tony wasn’t afraid to get himself into dangerous situations, knowing there was a high probability he could die, but he did it because, if I’m gonna die, I’m gonna at least die a hero.

Nat was casually suicidal in that she just wanted to erase the red in her ledger any which way, and if that was death then so be it, she’d die erasing every bad thing she did, making herself a martyr in the process. She was afraid of the Hulk, but in a sense that if he wasn’t stopped, he’d hurt others, so she had to tame him.

Bruce, poor Bruce. In Avengers Assemble, he literally says that he put a bullet in his mouth attempting to kill himself, but the thing he saw as an abomination spit it our instead. He thinks of himself as a monster, and puts every bit of guilt on himself whenever a Code Green happened. When the Witch violated his bodily autonomy in Johannesburg, he was terrified he’d do it again, and so the Hulk was forced out without Bruce’s consent after Nat pushed him down the hole.

Steve was quite literally casually suicidal in that he would die letting his friend kill him because this is his brother, the person that stuck with him through everything, where he had to try and drown himself in alcohol when he thought Bucky died, where he sacrificed himself, probably thinking in that moment ‘at least I’ll be with Bucky.’ Throughout his films, you see his slow bitterness at the world, and just wanting to cling to the past, so much so that he was willing to go against the law for it. He grew up in the Great Depression as a tiny, anorexic, probably TB-ridden Irish immigrant who probably begged to die on cold nights.

Thor shows signs of being suicidal in Infinity War through Endgame. His alcoholism leads to his weight gain, the PTSD overcoming him as he can’t even think of his parents being dead, and how he probably wishes he’d gone with the Snapped, wished he’d just gone for the head, and it could’ve all been prevented. When Loki dies, he pleads for just one more moment, hoping beyond hope that he’s not dead, clinging to the last tie of his family.

Loki practically oozes being suicidal through the course of the films, and this is as much his journey as the Avengers. From childhood, he knew there was something off with him. The rest of Asgard demonised him for an unknown reason, and he was seen as weaker for learning magic and wanting to just be with his brother (not in that sense you sick bastards), ruling as brothers, and then in the end of Thor, he goes to Thanos’ rule. In Avengers, whereas his eyes are normally green, they’re tinted blue. From this you can assume that he was mind-controlled, and from there, it spirals. He was probably tortured, mind-bent to be so afraid of Thanos that he just knew. Then the Dark world, he hides how disheveled and weak he’s getting by using his illusions. He has blisters on his feet and dirt in between his nails, his face is grimy and dusty, his hair is a mess. Then during the Dark Elf invasion, he tells the monster guy where to go to get to the Throne Room, being inadvertently responsible for the woman he considered his mom’s death. Do you know how much guilt there must be in knowing you were partially responsible for your parent’s death?

Wanda (and Pietro for a bit) I admit, I don’t like Wanda that much. I always felt Pietro was the better of them. These two had lived their lives after their parents died from Stark (quick tangent here though, what fucking logic is that? He didn’t make the weapon, much less fire it! He was like fifteen at the time, meaning Stane was in control, and the R&D department would have made the bombs. Also, it went unexploded, and in Iron Man one the military literally states that Stark tech never fails!) And so they’re thrown into the middle of the Sokovian Civil War, choosing an extremist side through anger, being twisted into a vulnerable mindset in which Hydra grabs them. Wanda and Pietro probably didn’t care if they died with the experiments, and (another side note, why did they erase the twins being Jewish? Erik was Jewish! Hydra would have hated them!) I find that incredibly tragic.

#marvel #iron man #captain america #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #black widow #hawkeye #clint barton #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #loki #thor #pretty much most of the avengers were suicidal.

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nikkzwrites · 4 years

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Yesterday Once More | Dark Fix-It Fic Series | Chapter 2

A/N: This fic is one that I started with my OC because honestly, I personally didn’t like how season 3 ended. So I am rewriting all of Dark with my OC Annalise Dahlheim. I hope you all like it. Some things will be expanded more on just for more depth to Dark that season 3 kinda skipped over so…. yeah.

CW: Canon Typical Triggers: Smoking, Sex, Language, Drugs, Drinking, Death, Violence.

Word Count: 5.1k

[Previous Chapter] [Next Chapter]

Nine hours had passed since Mikkel’s disappearance. A man with an older looking suitcase overlooked the police canvassing. His dirty scruffy face bent down to scoop up a dead bird.

Jonas shot up from his bed. He looked next to him to see Annalise missing. He threw off his duvet. He guessed it must have all been a dream. Tinnitus ringing in his ear caused him to walk towards his mirror. He turned to check his ear to see black liquid flowing out of it. Jonas studied it on his fingers for a moment trying to figure out what exactly it was. It almost seemed like ink or like a waste product of some sort.

“Jonas,” a haunting familiar voice called to him. The boy used his mirror and turned it to be met with the face of his father covered in the black liquid dripping down from him.

Jonas shot up. His breathing was hard and unsteady. He swallowed his breath as he checked his ear to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming again. As he looked down at his hand, he realized there was the sound of soft breathing next to him. He turned quickly to see that Annalise was there. His terror slowly subsided as her gentle energy embraced him once more. His half-lidded blue eyes studied her. They must have fallen asleep not too long ago. As he made a move to carefully leave his bed, Jonas heard a faint whimper.

Magnus stood in the woods. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing there, but he felt like he needed to be there, for Mikkel. He just wanted his little brother back. His heart wounded from despair. He looked up hearing a noise to spy Franziska walking towards him.

Franziska just looked at the boy who stood in her way for a moment. This moment was unwieldy for her. What was she supposed to say to him? What did he want her to say? Those questions rushed around in her head. Instead of trying to dwell on it, she just tried to move past him.

Magnus quickly grabbed onto the smaller girl and pushed her against a tree. “What were you doing there,” he asked angrily.

The girl complained, “Ouch! Are you crazy?” She studied Magnus’s face. It was full of turmoil. A face that was filled to the brim with emotions he didn’t know how to let out and where to properly put them.

“What were you doing,” He rephrased his question.

Franziska pursed her lips for a second getting more annoyed at his questioning. She stared at him and answered honestly, “I heard you guys talking at school. About the caves… And Erik’s drugs… So I thought… I don’t know what I thought.” She looked down at Magnus’s lips then back into his eyes.

Magnus started to shake before he let her go. He just stared at her trying to understand his life.

“I’m sorry about Mikkel,” she said finally understanding the words she wanted to say to him. But in the end, Magnus just turned angrily to storm away leaving Franziska there to watch him go.

Annalise wept as she slept. She kept reliving losing Mikkel in between her fond memories with him. First, she woke up in her bed with Mikkel huddled next to her from the night before. The poor young boy had gotten scared from a horror movie the three teenagers had been watching. Mikkel, not wanting to get anyone in trouble, had tried his other siblings who both turned him away before Annalise had welcomed him into bed. She could still remember his squeaked, ‘Thank you, Lise.’ After watching him sleep gently, the scenery slowly changed around them to the two of them in the woods. Mikkel curled up in the dirt and leaves shivering and crying. He was in the red puffy coat and the silly skeleton outfit that he loved so much. Annalise tried to call for him, but her ears just filled with Mikkel’s cries. He never responded to her but just kept crying out for help. Annalise started to see dark liquid start to drain and puddle around him. His cries became more desperate.

Jonas couldn’t take seeing her crying softly. He gently leaned over her. He rubbed her shoulder. “Annalise,” he whispered her name. He watched as her face contorted into more anguish. Jonas filled with panic. He gently shook her awake and in a harsh hushed voice demanded to her, “Annalise.”

Annalise slowly awakened by a force and voice. Her face was wet. She wiped her eyes and sat up. She looked to her side to realize just what had happened and how close she was to the sweet boy who took her in. She sniffled and scoot back, “sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“It’s okay,” Jonas soothed, “I had fallen asleep too.” His lips forced a small gentle smile, “I guess we both are having a rough time.”

Annalise forced a small giggle to escape her. Jonas noticed once more that she wasn’t just muted color like everyone else. Her sunset tones filled him with comfortability even as she teased, “Did you just imply that we wouldn’t?”

Jonas actually smiled and nodded, “Yeah. I guess I did.” He laughed at himself. There was nothing else they could have done, he told himself. They sat awkwardly for a moment. He looked her over again. He didn’t know how to feel when he remembered that Hannah had given the girl some of her own pajamas to borrow while there. They were rather baggy and big on the small-statured teen.

Martha stared at the pictures on the counter as she laid on the couch with her head in Katharina’s lap. “When Dad’s brother disappeared, how old was he,” she asked.

The picture of Mads and Ulrich they had given to Jana in 1986 for Mother’s day sat in between the pictures of the Nielsen’s and another with Annalise with the family for Halloween when they all matched costumes from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ for Mikkel. Mikkel had a cool trick to actually simulate the Wizard’s, Martha dressed as Dorothy, Magnus and Ulrich being the scarecrow and tin man in their respective order, Annalise dressed as the Lion seeming to be having a lot of fun, and Katharina as the Good Witch. They all seemed to be having a lot of fun. Mikkel was right in the center of all of them with a giant grin that he had gotten his family to do a giant group. Little did they know that it was going to be his last Halloween.

Katharina stared at the pictures and said, “Your father was 15. Mads was three years younger.”

Martha looked up at her mother, “And he was never found?”

Katharina started to play with her daughter’s hair hoping to just let the question and the distressing conversation drop.

“We talked about Erik,” Martha continued, “In the forest. Mikkel thought that was the worst. When someone isn’t found.”

Katharina comforted her daughter and herself, “Mikkel’s coming back. Definitely.”

Annalise shifted uneasily under Jonas’s gaze. She asked, “Got a problem Kahnwald?”

Jonas nodded, “Yeah. Those clothes are too big for you.”

This caused the girl to blink. He was just so honest about it. She looked down at Hannah’s sleepwear and asked, “Is it really that bad?” She looked up at him, “I can go change.”

Jonas shook his head, “I think my mom said something about washing the clothes from last night.” He swallowed hard. His mind started to piece together how he was sounding. He blushed and shot up to walk to his wardrobe. He absentmindedly rambled as he looked for some clothes, “I think I have some old clothes that may fit you though. They are from before I went to the hospital so they are a bit too small for me now.”

“You were in the hospital,” Annalise questioned. She started to look around his room. It was messy as normal teenaged boys’ rooms were but something stood out to her. A pill bottle. She studied it for a second before turning her attention back to the blond.

Jonas replied back without thinking, “Yeah. My first day officially back was yesterday.” He finally found what he was looking for and stopped. He turned horrified now fully aware of his mistake.

Annalise blinked, “I thought Bartosz said you were in France.” Her brow furrowed as she tried to put the pieces together herself. It wasn’t long before she gasped and exclaimed, “That’s why you didn’t text Martha or talk to anyone! You couldn’t!” She shook her head then asked, “But, why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Jonas slid himself down to sit onto the floor, “Why would I want to?”

Annalise sat next to him. She sighed and rest her head against his shoulder, “I get it. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

Jonas nodded. He let his head fall back to look up at the ceiling, “Thanks.”

They sat there in silence for a little bit. Their breathing synchronized. Time stood still as the two teenagers just tried to process their life leading up to this moment. Being together alone with practically a stranger that was somehow closer than any other person in the world right at that moment.

Jonas spoke up first again, “Do you ever feel like you were just meant to meet someone?”

Annalise looked up at the ceiling with him and asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jonas motioned with his hand at nothing, “Just someone that you meet and it changes your entire life. Better, worse… whatever. Just someone who changes you.”

Annalise looked up at the boy and took a deep breath, “My dad used to say, ‘We are lead to those who help us most grow if we allow them and we help them out too.’ So I guess I know the feeling.”

Jonas sighed, “He sounds like a wise man. You must miss him.”

“I’ve missed him every day for a while,” Annalise explained, “My dad died not too long ago too. Probably what drew me to come here.”

Jonas swallowed a breath. Tears started to fall from his eyes, “You think…”He couldn’t complete his sentence. It didn’t seem as though he needed to though.

Annalise nodded, “Yeah.” She turned and reached around to give the boy a hug. She buried her face in his shoulder to hide the fact she was starting to cry as well. She started to laugh though thinking about something Jonas had said the night before. She pulled away from him with a warm smile through tears, “What? Dead dad, bad topic?”

Jonas burst into laughter. His entire body shook with his entertainment. His eye squeezed close from the force of his smile.

Hannah must have heard the laughing from downstairs because she called “How come I haven’t heard either one of you go clean yourselves up yet? I didn’t offer Annalise to stay here for you two to be joking around.” She puffed out her chest. She honestly had taken Annalise in knowing that Ulrich would come to check up on the teenager eventually. It just gave her even more of an excuse to be alone with the man.

Jonas rolled his eyes, “I’ll go first that way I can get the water warmed up for you.” He laughed then walked towards the direction of the bathroom.

Annalise called after him, “That sounds more like you are going to take all the warm water for yourself.”

Hannah looked up the stairs seeing the two teens playfully teasing each other. She rolled her eyes and called to Annalise, “Come here. We need to make a list of what we are going to need to pack from the Nielsen’s to get you moved here for a few days.”

Annalise nodded, “Yes ma’am.” She hurried down the stairs to do the activity Hannah had asked of her.

The cool water was just what Jonas needed to calm down. He closed his eyes and allowed his mind to focus on making sure he was clean. As the shower warmed though, he felt his heart start to race once more. Images of Martha and Annalise spun in his head. He could barely concentrate for long. He quickly turned the water off and panted as he looked at himself in the mirror. He quickly dried off, brushed his teeth, changed, and walked out. He called down towards where he heard Annalise’s voice and called, “Your turn! You need help?”

Hannah blushed. She called upstairs to her son, “What would Annalise need help with? It’s a shower! Not a group project.”

Annalise stifled a laugh. Her snort had caused both Kahnwald’s to look at her. Annalise lifted her hand, rushed past Jonas on the stairs, “Sorry. I’m going to go.”

Jonas watched as Annalise closed the door and argued, “To make sure she knew how to use our shower. Some people have different ones.”

“Oh, you think the Nielsen’s have a different shower,” Hannah replied flushed.

Jonas shook his head, “What are you talking about?” He rolled his eyes. The boy used this time to go into his father’s shop. Talking with Annalise finally made him feel ready to be there again. The boy wanted to have some time to himself just surrounded by Michael. He walked in and sat right in the middle of the room.

Warm water refreshed Annalise more than she could describe. She lathered her hair and body in shampoo and soap to get the grime off of her. The feeling of being clean intoxicated her. She hummed happily as the water washed away the forest from her. As the water started to cool, her brain started to fill with images of Jonas. Her heart raced. Her hand rushed to end the shower to stop those thoughts from happening. Her chest heaved as she tried to calm herself down. She wrapped her hair up and brushed her teeth. Then she got dressed into Jonas’s old clothes and walked out.

Across town, the bearded stranger walked out of the shower. His things scattered across Regina’s eighth hotel room. He dried off his hair as he kept the memory of his loved one close in his mind. She would have been getting out the shower about now right? He looked over to the time. He had timed it right. He hummed to himself pleased with the little luxury he was able to give himself. He threw the towel for his hair onto the bed then went to look at his charts and diagrams on the wall.

Jonas laid on the floor. His legs crossed. From above he was reminiscent of an angel. As the rain started, he decided to start to explore more of his late father’s workspace. He walked around. As he studied the closet, the boy noticed one of the boards slightly off kelter. He reached up to uncover its secrets to reveal a map of the Winden Caves.

As it started to rain, Katharina found herself outside. She was just standing there her mind wandered through possibilities hoping for her baby to come home to her. The rain had forced Magnus to also return home. Katharina turned hearing the noise of someone walking behind her to see the tormented face of her eldest son. She turned back to look out into the rain.

Magnus walked into his room to lament. He finally allowed himself to let out the agony he felt. He walked to his wall and just kept punching until he could feel something on the outside just as hurt as he felt on the inside.

Martha looked out of her window. She longed for Mikkel just to be there and walk past the view of her window again. She looked down at her phone and sent Bartosz’s call straight to voicemail.

When Annalise walked out, she realized she was completely alone. Jonas completely quiet and on his own somewhere in the house and it didn’t seem like Hannah was still there. The list they made was gone as well. Annalise made a face. She looked at her phone and figured now would be the best time to Face chat with her family. The girl holed herself into the room Hannah had put her in and started the call.

Freida answered quickly and scolded her daughter in their native English language, “What is going on over there?! I got an email from Katharina that you are staying with a family friend because her son Mikkel disappeared?! Please tell me you are okay. You weren’t there were you?”

“I’m fine Mom,” Annalise calmed her mother, “I-...” She looked off into the distance hearing shuffling inside of the house. “Hold on,” Annalise put her phone down and walked out to see what the noise was.

Jonas was trying to scramble into his room without anyone noticing but he heard the door open near him. The boy looked then let out a breath relieved. He smiled, “Hey Lise.”

Annalise smiled, “Hey. I’m on the phone with my mom. Want to meet her? It’s only fair yeah?”

His ears turned red but he nodded, “Yeah. Let me put this in my room real quick then I’ll be right there.”

“I’ll leave the door open,” Annalise slipped her head back into the room. She did just as she said then settled into her bed. She lifted her phone back up. She took a second to remember to speak English again then said, “Sorry Mom. That was Jonas.”

“Oh, the cute one yeah,” Freida laughed forgetting what had panicked her for the moment, “He’s going to come to say hi right? I’ll go get Zayde so he can be here too.”

Annalise blushed, “Mom, really. There is no need.” She shook her head trying to convince her mother not to get her grandfather, “I only wanted him to meet you since it’s only fair because I know his mom and am staying here for a few days.” But it was no help, she had already gotten close to his chair for them to share the screen.

Jonas smiled as he walked in. He laughed and settled in next to Lise leaning his back on the bed. “Hello,” Jonas tried his best to speak English, “My name is Jonas. It’s nice to meet you.”

David looked at the blue-eyed blond boy sitting next to his granddaughter and spoke in German, “Oh, you think I can’t speak my native language?! Fuck you.”

Freida tried to calm her father down and Annalise laughed. She looked at Jonas and said, “I should have warned you that my Zayde is from Winden, huh?”

Jonas laughed and nodded, “Yeah. Rather than the first words out of his mouth being fuck you. I can see why German terrified you.”

“We can hear you,” David replied. He spoke up again, “Anyway kid, this is my daughter Freida and that’s her daughter Annalise. I’m David. Don’t do anything to her. I know people in Winden.”

“Yes Sir,” Jonas laughed. He looked towards Annalise who was just shaking her head.

Annalise spoke up in English, “Anyway, we are safe. You know where I am and who I’m with. I’ll chat with all of you tomorrow. Bye Bye,” She waved.

Jonas stuck his face in once more to wave bye as well. He chuckled. Just as he was about to say something to Annalise her phone made a small text received tone. He didn’t really want to pry but he was right there. ‘He is cute’ Her mom had texted her. He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit.

Annalise’s face started to glow red she quickly texted back, ‘Mom, if he can speak English, what makes you think he can’t read?’ She looked at Jonas and apologized, “I’m sorry about that. She and I talk like every day so Martha had ended up talking to her at some point too and-”

“It’s okay,” Jonas shook his head. He looked at the girl nervously. They sat there awkwardly for a second before Jonas spoke up, “Martha called me cute?”

Annalise pushed him gently, “Go away, Jonas. God. Is that all you think about? Martha?”

Jonas stood up forcing a laugh, “Sure. Why not?” His plan had worked, now he could go investigate the map on his own without worrying too much about Annalise. He walked out of the room and went inside his own.

Hannah pulled up at the police station. She sighed and waited for Ulrich. He had to be back at his work sometime, she reasoned with herself. The woman walked to the waiting area and crossed her leg over the other. She watched the door.

Drenched, Ulrich walked into the station. He was walking to his office when he spotted her. He turned and asked, “What are you doing here?” His hands finding themselves in his jacket pockets.

“I wanted to see you. We have-” Hannah started.

“Come on.” The man interrupted the woman by grabbing her arm and pulling her down to the archives. Once inside he asked her, “What is this? Why are you here?”

Hannah shrugged a bit and replied, “I’m so sorry.” She stood for a second before she sighed. Hannah wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him close and kissed his jaw. She held him close for a second. She then moved to press their foreheads together. “Have you found out anything,” She asked.

Ulrich had wrapped his arms around her in momentary weakness. He really needed to be held close after everything going on. His youngest son, his Mikkel, was gone with no explanation and no trace. Ulrich simply shook his head and tried to hold back his sorrow. He pulled up his face in a moment of clarity. When he did though, Hannah took that as a sign to try and kiss him. As the woman tried to continue, Ulrich whispered against her lips, “Stop it, please.” He pleaded with her, “Please.”

Hannah pulled her face away in slight annoyance. She took a step back from him and looked up a the tall man.

“I can’t do this,” Ulrich explained, “Not now.” He reached over to move some of the hair out of Hannah’s face. He watched her as she looked around feeling guilty about what had just transpired. His heart still aching, Ulrich reasoned, “I’ll call you, okay?” He pulled away completely and walked out of the room leaving Hannah just standing there.

Annalise used this time to try and text her friend. She really didn’t know what to say other than, ‘I love you. If you need me, I’m here.’ She stared at the picture of her and Martha in her contact picture. Annalise, then, went to the full photo to go and look through the pictures she had with the Nielsen’s. Seeing all of them happy, laughing, completely unaware of the future turmoil made Annalise start to cry again. She zoomed in on Mikkel. He was such a great kid. He had a popsicle stain all around his mouth and a big old cheesy toothy grin. Annalise then allowed more of the picture in the frame to see Magnus holding his little brother up in the air about to toss him back in the water at Martha who was, despite trying to look annoyed, had big sparkles in her eyes. Annalise laughed through her tears.

Jonas’s hands traced over the map he had found in his father’s studio. He carefully started to read all of the text written on it. It seemed as though his father was exploring and trying to make his way through the caves. Something seemed very off to him when he was studying it. His fingers went to the anomaly that read, ‘Where is the Crossing?’

Bartosz was getting frustrated. Martha wasn’t contacting him back. He looked around. The boy hated this feeling. He was alone. Completely alone. He looked at his phone deciding that desperate times meant to do desperate measures. He pressed Annalise’s name and tried to call her.

Annalise stared at the picture only to have a surprising thing happen. Why was Bartosz Tiedemann calling her, she questioned. She declined the call and texted him, ‘What do you want?’

Bartosz stared at his phone. Another straight to voicemail. He growled. He was just about to throw his phone when he saw her text. He walked back to his sofa and texted her, ‘Can you tell Martha to call me back?’

Annalise rolled her eyes. Of course, she thought. She texted the boy back, ‘She hasn’t talked to me either. I’m not there anyway. I’m at Jonas’s.’

Bartosz scrunched his nose. Why was she there, he thought to himself. He shook his head and decided to just investigate and get the answer himself, ‘Why?’

Annalise’s brow furrowed. Did he just, the girl questioned. She rolled her eyes again, ‘Why do you care?’

‘I am worried about my girlfriend, thank you,’ Bartosz replied.

Annalise texted back, ‘I think she needs her family right now. Not either of us. I really don’t think where I am makes a difference right now. Chill out. One of the things she asked us to do is be cordial towards each other so let’s just try to do that and wait for her to talk to us. She will come around eventually.’

Bartosz growled. That girl really knew how to push his buttons. He looked out the window. She’s right though, a tiny voice within him spoke. He shook his head and texted back, ‘Fine. If she texts you first, can you let me know how she’s doing? I’ll do the same for you.’

‘Deal.’

Hannah walked into the house to find both teenagers deathly quiet. She called up that she was home and started to make some food for herself. Footsteps started down the stairs. She turned to see her son standing there. He walked over to the counter and sat on it. Hannah pulled herself up and sat next to him to give him some company after lighting a few candles since the power wasn’t working again.

Jonas started first, “Do you think they’ll find him?”

“I hope so,” Hannah answered her son honestly. She stared at the refrigerator with her hands in her lap.

Jonas looked towards his mother for guidance. He sat in silence for a minute before asking, “Do you think he had a secret?” He thought back to the maps that he found in his father’s studio.

“Mikkel,” Hannah asked confused. She looked towards her son for his input. She wondered if he knew more than he let on.

“No, Dad,” Jonas replied quelling all of his mother’s questions instantly but now creating new ones. Jonas thought of how to ask his question then asked, “Do you think he was keeping something from us?”

“Why do you say that,” Hannah asked Jonas. She was growing more concerned for him. Maybe she had done too much or had him come back home a bit too early, she worried internally.

Jonas sat trying to process everything going on. He let Hannah’s question drop to the floor then questioned, “Do you miss him?”

Hannah lightly sighed, “I think I miss the notion of him.” She didn’t want to lie to her son and tell him she missed someone she really didn’t know if she did. She shook her head and told Jonas, “I don’t know who he really was. Maybe we never know that, what a person is really like.”

Jonas looked at his mother, “Did you love him?” Right when he asked, the lights in the house illuminated once more.

Hannah looked around noticing the lights then let out a small scoff at how ironic everything at this moment was.

It wasn’t too long though before the lights of Winden started to flicker leaving most of the town confused. Birds started to fall from the sky once more. Dead instantly.

The Stranger pinned up the news article about Mikkel on his board. The headline read, ‘Where is Mikkel?’ He stared at it, then the boy in the photo. He reached over to scribble his own inscription. He crossed out the ‘Where’ and replaced it with ‘When.’ He stood back to admire the new headline reading, ‘When is Mikkel?’

Mikkel climbed his way through the caves he was trapped in. He limped his way out of the cave. The boy looked around. Something seemed different about it and it wasn’t just because it was the morning. Mikkel just couldn’t place his finger on it. He decided instead to try and run home. He knew everyone would be worried about him. When he finally arrived, he started to notice other strange things. Vehicles parked that he had never seen before. On his way into the house, he stopped to look at an older fashioned motorcycle. He shook his head. He figured it must have just been people who were there helping his family look for him. Mikkel just tried to continue his way inside. When he walked up and tried his keys, it didn’t work. His eyes furrowed. It wasn’t long before a teenaged boy opened the door. Mikkel looked up at him and asked, “Who are you?”

The teenager looked down at the strange boy with scrapes all over his face and chuckled a bit, “Why? Who are you?”

“Mikkel,” the younger boy answered just as confused as the older boy in all of this, “I live here.”

“Ulrich,” the teen laughed, “And I live here.” He watched as Mikkel swallowed hard, “You going to grow roots? You’re at the wrong house, fool.”

A girl’s voice called him outside. She stood in the driveway, “Hey Ulrich. Come on, we need to go.”

“Yes, Katharina, I’m coming,” Ulrich responded.

Mikkel and Katharina stared at each other. Both of them trying to understand why it felt like they knew each other.

Ulrich interrupted their staring content with, “Are you dense? You don’t live here.” He pushed past Mikkel and grabbed his bike.

Katharina looked at Ulrich and asked, “Who is that?”

Ulrich looked back and laughed. He turned to Katharina to tease, “The Grim Reaper. Can’t you tell?” Katharina gently popped Ulrich in the head causing him to complain, “Ouch! Katharina.”

Mikkel watched as the two drove off. Katharina still looking back at Mikkel every so often. The boy then looked at the newspaper on the doorstep. The headline read, ‘Chernobyl - Half a Year Later.’ Mikkel started to panic as he looked at the date of the paper that read, ‘5. November. 1986.’ His mind focused completely on the year, ‘1986.’

#yesterday once more fanfic #dark fanfic #dark netflix #dark netflix fanfic #dark (netflix)#dark (netflix) fanfiction #dark (netflix) fanfic #fix it fic #break it differently

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technoskittles · 4 years

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Pure Feeling Playlist

Okay, so I had someone on twitter express interest in the songs I have for my playlist for Pure Feeling and figured, yeah, I could share it. I don’t have a spotify (I don’t like the interface plus the music selection is way too limited for my taste) and the playlist itself is on Youtube Music. It’s also private because I don’t really want random people seeing it or other people messing with it if I unlocked it, so I’ll just type up all the songs here with links that way y’all can scroll through and listen to what you want.

I understand there’s probably an easier and faster way to do this probably, but hey, with the quarantine I clearly have some extra time on my hands so why not?

Though, couple of warnings:

1. It’s LOOOOOOONG (it’s 300+ songs in total) (don’t worry I’m gonna put this under a cut)

2. Some of the songs aren’t going to make much sense in terms of the AU. This is for two reasons: a) Some of the songs allude to events/characters that haven’t shown up in the story yet (there’s a LOT of songs regarding Mara’s father) and b) some of them are just general songs that I use to get a basis of emotion/vibe when writing particular types of scenes.

3. My music tastes are all over the place (and this doesn’t even include some of the other genres I listen to just because it doesn’t fit this AU lol)

But this playlist is my main muse and is probably one of the best insights to my process/inner thoughts so, without further ado.....my full playlist.

(I grouped the songs from the same artist together for the easiest convenience)

(And some songs might kind of be repeats if I listen to multiple versions for the purpose of this fic)

Got any favorites? Any songs that worry you about the future of this fic? Or just something you might want more clarification on? Feel free to shoot me ask about it!

South London Forever by Florence + The Machine

Patricia by Florence + The Machine

I Will Be by Florence + The Machine

Too Much Is Never Enough by Florence + The Machine

You’ve Got The Love by Florence + The Machine

Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine

Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

Ship To Wreck by Florence + The Machine

St. Jude by Florence + The Machine

Over The Love by Florence + The Machine

Pure Feeling by Florence + The Machine (hey look it’s the fic title)

Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + The Machine

What Kind Of Man by Florence + The Machine

Stuck On You by Meiko

Stuck On You (Acoustic Version) by Meiko

Adventure of A Lifetime by Coldplay

Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay

Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay

Simple and Clean by Hikaru Utada

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - FYI - Hikaru Utada

Be My Last by Hikaru Utada

Colors by Hikaru Utada

Distance (M-Flo Remix) by Hikaru Utada

Without You (Justice Skolnik Remix) by Oh Wonder

Rockabye by Clean Bandit ft. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie

In The Rain (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by David Russell)

Stone Heart (an unofficial rendition from Miraculous Ladybug by sxrlove06)

Lost In The Moment by Daniel Lee Kendall

Fragile by ARCADES

Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood

Scary Love by The Neighbourhood

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood

Sweater Weather (Vaski Remix) by The Neighbourhood

Honest by The Neighbourhood

Alleyways by The Neighbourhood

Stuck With Me by The Neighbourhood

Lights by Ellie Goulding

Goodness Gracious (The Chainsmokers Remix) by Ellie Goulding

Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding

Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding

Don’t Need Nobody by Ellie Goulding

Candy-Coloured Sky by Catmosphere

‘Till We’re In The Sea by RKCB

affection by Jinsang

summers day v2 by Jinsang

Let Go by Frou Frou

Must Be Dreaming by Frou Frou

I Just Want You by Robert Duncan

Forget by Alicks

Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier

Nevermind by Dennis Lloyd

Let It Happen by Tame Impala

Think About You by Kygo ft. Valerie Broussard

First Time by Kygo ft. Ellie Goulding

Fragile by Kygo ft. Labrinth

Feel Your Love by Nyquill

I See You by MISSIO

Learn To Let Go by Kesha

Praying by Kesha

I Love My Life by Justice Crew

Sex by Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam

Everlong by Foo Fighters

Party Like It’s Your Birthday by Studio Killers

The Disappearance of The Girl by Phildel

Soul On Fire by Mystery Skulls

we’ve never met but, can we have coffee or something? by in love with a ghost

What is Love? by Y//2//K & Yung Death Ray ft. Jaymes Young

A Manner to Act by Ra Ra Riot

Suckers by Ra Ra Riot

Do You Remember by Ra Ra Riot

You And I Know by Ra Ra Riot

Oh, La by Ra Ra Riot

Can You Tell by Ra Ra Riot

Consequence by The Notwist

Anyone Else by PVRIS

Dead Weight by PVRIS

Can You Hold Me by NF ft. Britt Nicole

Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

No Fear by Dej Loaf

I’ve Been Waiting by Lil Peep & ILoveMakonnen ft. Fall Out Boy

Give U Up by CALVIN (I’m sorry in advance for this one)

Heartbeat by Scouting For Girls

Keep It Simple by Tove Lo

Sweettalk My Heart by Tove Lo

Glad He’s Gone by Tove Lo

Not On Drugs by Tove Lo

Got Love by Tove Lo

Crave by Tove Lo

Paradise by Tove Lo

Moments by Tove Lo

Talking Body by Tove Lo

Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo

Scars by Tove Lo

Out Of Your Mind by Tove Lo

Vibes by Tove Lo

Lies In The Dark by Tove Lo

Come Undone by Tove Lo

dont ask dont tell by Tove Lo

Cherry Blossom by ALA.NI

Feels Like Home by The Him ft. Son Mieux

Quiet by Lights

Skydiving by Lights

365 by Zedd & Katy Perry

Left to Right by Marteen

Could You Love Me? by Black Saint

Midnight City by M83

Marble Soda by Shawn Wasabi

Crystal Dolphin by Engelwood

Pusher (Shawn Wasabi Remix) by Clear ft. Mothica

She’s A Riot by The Jungle Giants

Stranger by Jay Hayden & King Vodka

Now That I’ve Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen

Marty McFly by Luke Christopher

Rocks by Imagine Dragons

All Day And Night by Jax Jones ft. Madison Beer & Martin Solveig

Run Free by Deep Chills ft. IVIE

Maps by Maroon 5

Feelings by Maroon 5

blue by Pools

High Hopes (The Lucifer Edit) by Quails

breathin’ by Ariana Grande

Into You by Ariana Grande

Shy Girl by Kedam

Something Good Can Work by Two Door Cinema Club

What You Know by Two Door Cinema Club

Sleep Alone by Two Door Cinema Club

This Is The Life by Two Door Cinema Club

Do You Want It All? by Two Door Cinema Club

Sun by Two Door Cinema Club

Eat That Up, It’s Good For You by Two Door Cinema Club

Undercover Martyn by Two Door Cinema Club

Sunflower by Post Malone & Swan Lee

Señorita by Shawn Medes & Camila Cabello

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie

Everybody’s Angel by Down With Webster

All Fall Down by OneRepublic

Counting Stars by OneRepublic

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T by Fall Out Boy

Jenny by Walk The Moon

Youth by Daughter

Get Lucky (Cover) by Daughter

Love by Daughter

River Flows In You by Yiruma

Girls And Boys In School by Neon Trees

Girls And Boys In School (EP Version) by Neon Trees

Helpless by Neon Trees

In The Next Room by Neon Trees

Beings by Madeon

Dried-Out Cities by Fallulah

Bloodline by Fallulah

Almost Home by Mariah Carey

Headlock by Imogen Heap

Closing In by Imogen Heap

Lifeline by Imogen Heap

Goodnight And Go by Imogen Heap

First Train Home by Imogen Heap

I Am In Love With You by Imogen Heap

The Walk by Imogen Heap

More by Kaskade & Felix Cartal ft. Jenn Blosil

Lay Down by Kaskade & Late Night Alumni

My Distance by Kaskade

Lessons In Love by Kaskade ft. Neon Trees

Kill The Lights (Audien Remix) by Alex Newell ft. DJ Cassidy, Nile Rogers, & Jess Glynne

Fall In Love/Lie by INNA

Cola Song by INNA

Caliente by INNA

Iguana by INNA

Ruleta by INNA ft. Erik

I Like You by INNA

Love by INNA

Shining Star by INNA

Bebe by INNA

Bebe (Yaniss Extended Remix) by INNA

Better Not by Louis The Child ft. Wafia

Living Island by Pogo

Still Into You by Paramore

Hard Times by Paramore

Emergency by Paramore

Ignorance by Paramore

I Caught Myself by Paramore

Letting Go by HERB x Kendall Miles

To Be Human by Sia ft. Labrinth

Big Girls Cry (ODESZA Remix) by Sia

Elastic Heart by Sia

Angel By The Wings by Sia

If You Didn’t See Me (Then You Weren’t On The Dancefloor) by Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.

Butterfly In The Still by Iwasaki Taku

Dare (La La La) by Shakira

Me Enamore by Shakira

Loca by Shakira ft. Dizzee Rascal

Te Aviso, Te Anuncio (Tango) by Shakira

Addicted To You by Shakira

Whenever, Wherever by Shakira

When A Woman by Shakira

Can’t Remember To Forget You by Shakira ft. Rihanna

Better Than Yesterday by HollySiz

This is What You Came For by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna

Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch

Rain by Pueblo Vista ft. .Eehlou & Shiloh Dynasty

G.B.D. Pressure (Extended) by Chillster

Valentine by Aether ft. Veela

Lemme See by Usher ft. Rick Ross

Promises by Aly & AJ

Like Whoa by Aly & AJ

Silence by Aly & AJ

Find A Way by Safety Suit

Ordinary Day by Emilie Mover

Green Light by Lorde

Don’t Feel Like Crying (MK Remix) by Sigrid

Crazy in Love by EDEN ft. Leah Kelly

Broken Girl by Matthew West

Crazy in Love by Sofia Karlberg

This Is What Makes Us Girls (The Confect Remix) by Lana del Rey

1901 by Phoenix

Lisztomania by Phoenix

Please Don’t Touch by RAYE

Island In The Sun by Weezer

God Is A Dancer by Tiesto & Mabel

Tighten Up by The Black Keys

Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys

Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups

Don’t Play by Halsey

Bad At Love by Halsey

Young God by Halsey

Now Or Never by Halsey

Hurricane by Halsey

Drive by Halsey

Eyes Closed by Halsey

Eyes Closed (Stripped) by Halsey

Haunting by Halsey

Strangers by Halsey ft. Lauren Jauregui

100 Letters by Halsey

Ghost by Halsey

Break A Sweat by Becky G

Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men

I wanna be your girlfriend by girl in red

Run by Alison Wonderland

I Want U by Alison Wonderland

Peace by Alison Wonderland

Peace (Acoustic) by Alison Wonderland

Dead To Me by Kali Uchis

Good Enough by Evanescence

Go Slow by Gorgon City & Kaskade ft. Romeo

Feel Good Inc by filous & LissA

All I Need by Within Temptation

A Lot Like Love (Oliver Heldens Edit) by The Voyagers ft. Haris

Hideaway by Kiesza

Memories by KSHMR ft. Sirah

American Sadness by XYLO

One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks

Your Shirt by Chelsea Cutler

Hope Of Morning by Icon For Hire

Collect Call by Metric

Flowers On The Grave (Acoustic) by The Maine

Fabulous by Ally Brooke

Falling (blackbear Remix) by Trevor Daniel

You by Petit Biscuit

Unlove You (Drop G Remix) by Armin van Burren ft. Ne-Yo

Formation (R-TRAX Trap Remix) by Beyonce

Schoolin’ Life by Beyonce

Simmer by Hayley Williams

Ruby by Foster The People

Moral Of The Story by Ashe

Colorblind (Left/Right Remix) by Karma Fields ft. Tove Lo

Don’t Stop The Music by Jamie Cullum

Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant

Don’t Stop the Fancy Footwork (Chromeo vs. Rihanna)

She Wolf (Falling To Pieces) by David Guetta ft. Sia

Slow Burn by Audiograf

Write My Story by Olly Anna

1 Thing by Amerie

I Like That by Janelle Monae

Your Favorite Place by Joey Pecoraro

Beauty Mark by Parov Stelar ft. Anduze

Dead Hearts by Stars

Change of Seasons (EP Version) by Sweet Thing

Larger Than Life by Pink Zebra ft. Benji Jackson

Are You With Me (Pretty Pink Remix) by Lost Frequencies

Nothing But by Skin

In Common (Kenny Dope Remix) by Alicia Keys

Resonance by HOME

All Stars by Martin Solveig ft. ALMA

Lavender’s Blue Dilly Dilly [From the Cinderella (2015) OST]

Besame Mucho by Jorge Blanco

Touch You Right Now by Basic Element

Dinero by Trinidad

Icon (Reggaeton Remix) by Jaden Smith ft. Nicky Jam & Will Smith

Make Me Sweat by Kat DeLuna

Sombredosis by Kat DeLuna ft. El Cata

Real Love by Memory Tapes

Feelings by Hayley Kiyoko

This Side Of Paradise by Hayley Kiyoko

Wanna Be Missed by Hayley Kiyoko

Gravel To Tempo by Hayley Kiyoko

Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko

Fiesta (Remix) by Bombe Estereo ft. Will Smith

Love by TeZATalks

Had by TeZATalks

Heal by Loreen

Analyser by AlunaGeorge

Attracting Flies by AlunaGeorge

Damaged by Plummet

My Kind by Hilary Duff

Sparks by Hilary Duff

Talk by DJ Snake ft. George Maple

First summer without you by Outgoing Hikikomori

First birthday without you by Outgoing Hikikomori

2 Heads by Coleman Hell

Mathematics by Little Boots

Hearts Collide by Little Boots

Meddle by Little Boots

Parachute by Cheryl Cole

When she went away by Max Richter

When she came back by Max Richter

Who Knew by Pink

Lash Out by Alice Merton

Back To The Start by Mr. Little Jeans

Perfecto. by Ayo. & .Disfnk ft. Daniela Andrade

service by j^p^n

I’m In Love Again by tomppabeats

Close by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo

Falling Apart by Michael Schulte

Dusk ‘Til Dawn by ZAYN ft. Sia

Pillowtalk by ZAYN

Minimal Beat by Lindsey Stirling

Perfect Illusion by Lady Gaga

Do I Wanna Know? (Cover) by CHVRCHES

La Familia (Guy Sigsworth Remix) by Mirah

Broken Parts by The Ready Set & Mokita

Invisible Chains by Lauren Jauregui

Lonely Gun by CYN

Cartier by Dopebwoy ft. 3robi & Chivv

Boss Bitch by Doja Cat

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #pure feeling #ash writes #pure feeling playlist #playlist #if some of these links are wrong or repeat forgive me #I wasn't about to go through and double check them all #if nothing else you have the titles and these are all on youtube #will probably be adding onto this as I add more songs to my playlist #so I just realized that the links aren't showing up for some reason on the published post #even though when I went to edit they're still there???#I'm very sorry about that #just copy and paste into youtube I guess?

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rqgnarok · 5 years

Text

she - carol danvers

she – carol danvers

song: she by dodie

fandom: the avengers ft. xmen (marvel)

words: 3407

warnings: kidnappings, ptsd, nightmares, blood, death, etc.

summary: carol stares and falls in love.

author's note below.

Am I allowed to look at her like that?

Could it be wrong

When she's just so nice to look at?

Carol doesn’t know how she hasn’t been caught staring.

She’s beautiful. She’s got mutant blood running through her veins and that should make her dangerous enough for Carol to consider her a threat, but the energy that flows through her own system and her common sense tells her they’re way beyond that shit. (Y/N) Xavier has time and space falling through her fingers and could render you to dust with the flick of a wrist, a simple thought if she wanted to. Carol has never known anyone more gorgeous and powerful and terrifying all at the same time.

She loves it. She loves her.

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

Oh, you would find her in a Polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

(Y/N)’s kidnapped by HYDRA and Carol sees red, can’t understand the sudden feeling of tears getting caught up bitterly on her throat, tightened angry fists and the permanent scowl on her features. Because it was supposed to be a retrieving intel mission, she screams at Steve later when he returns to the Quinjet without the mutant by his side, how the fuck did HYDRA get their hands on anti-mutant tech, how dare you leave her alone-

They find her on a warehouse, after being under HYDRA’s care for sixteen days, with a heavy collar around her throat, now an angry red with scratches and scars (Y/N) can’t heal due her mutant gene reacting badly against the tech used on her. The Avengers go to rescue their teammate and find a shaking, muttering, lost mess instead. She shrieks and pushes back every time someone tries to touch her, and it isn’t until she sees Carol’s energy brighten her eyes that a flash of recognition swims through hers.

The ride back home on the Quinjet is loud and rattled, the medics trying to force drugs into (Y/N)’s system while she fights back with whatever she’s got left, still blinded by her time as HYDRA’s guinea pig to know better than to let them manhandle her that easily.

Carol hurts as she has to pin her down for them to work (because she offered. Of course she offered, a dangerous feeling of uneasiness pressured her on the chest at the mere thought of Steve, Thor or even Banner touching her, hurting her like this), can’t look away as (Y/N) throws her a betrayed look and even if the bruising she left on already blemished arms to keep her at bay would disappear as soon as she got control of her powers again, there’s an ache within her Carol knows won’t fade until she makes sure (Y/N)’s safe, home, sleeping it off in the familiar comfort of one of the Tower’s endless rooms.

Because it shouldn’t be this easy, she thinks later in the darkness and safety of the medbay, as she buries her face on (Y/N)’s hair to breathe her in and press and experimental kiss on it, because the mutant gene is supposed to protect her, even if her job consists on putting her life on the line every single goddamn day.

(Y/N) wakes up days after being brought in, with a clean system and no scarring left of her time as HYDRA’s puppet, yet Carol is left with the sudden realization that it never hurt like this whenever another one of her teammates got kidnapped or hurt during a mission. The fear she’d welcomed during those weeks the mutant was missing and when they’d found (Y/N), hurt and bruised and so close to losing herself to insanity, roots itself deeply within the pilot.

It takes her long enough to realize she’s falling in love.

I'd never tell

No, I'd never say a word

And oh, it aches

But it feels oddly good to hurt

Carol hates it when Scott Summers comes to visit.

Sure, the guy’s nice enough, but kinda cocky for Carol’s taste. Dangerous, too, according to his file (because Nick Fury has a file on everyone), and the fact that he can’t look the guy straight in the eye doesn’t let her be assured that he can really be trusted.

But the thing is that (Y/N) grins so fucking wildly when she sees him stepping into the common floor’s threshold, hugs him tight enough for her to shake with the force her limbs are using, and there’s something in the way she looks at him, nostalgic and sad and familiar, that makes an uncomfortable disappointment swim on Carol’s belly.

And yet, she manages.

“How are things, back home?” Carol overhears (Y/N) asking one day, and it kills her to think that even after all this time, she still considers her father’s establishment home rather than the Avengers Tower among all her friends and the people she’s saved and have saved her multiple times. Somewhere among those people, is Carol, in love and quiet enough about it for (Y/N) to be blissfully ignorant about it.

“Been better, been worse,” Scott reassures, and there’s the faint noise of him throwing a popcorn to (Y/N)’s mouth to see if she catches it. She hasn’t, at least for the past hour. They took the living room hostage and have made it their spot for the last couple of hours, much to Sam’s annoyance who was banished to hang out in his room for the rest of the day. “You’d know more if you came around every once in a while.”

“I know,” (Y/N) laments, and Carol doesn’t expect the softness of her tone. Because the (Y/N) she’s learned to know is rough around the edges, always bright and big and not at all this: gentle and small and sorry. “I know, I just-”

“I know,” Scott answers, light and teasing and probably just what (Y/N) needs right now. “We just miss you. Your dad- he’s been talking about you a lot these days.”

“I wish I could go back,” she admits, unintentionally cracking Carol’s facade even further, who’s hiding behind the wall at the entrance of the room for the last few minutes instead of just walking in like she intended to do a few moments ago. She’s afraid of breathing differently and being heard and doesn’t dare to react while (Y/N) speaks. “Sometimes, I do. When the weight of the world gets so heavy upon my shoulders, I wish nothing more than to go back home. To be a little girl, hop into my father’s wheelchair and race across the house.”

There’s a smile somewhere in there, nostalgic like only missing someone, something can make you. Carol knows about that well enough. Even if Yon-Rogg turned out to be all she stood against, she missed him sometimes, a friend and a guide she could talk to whenever she felt like she had no idea what she was doing.

Carol guesses that’s what Scott Summers is to (Y/N).

“But the people we’ve lost, Scottie-” she cuts herself off and takes a deep breath, two, three of them before she’s sure she won’t be shedding any tears soon. “I know that if I go back, I’ll feel like I’ll be standing on a graveyard rather than my childhood home.”

“I don’t wanna taint it like that,” she continues, somewhat desperate for him to understand and Carol can easily know that he does. Isn’t that what friends are for? “I’d rather live in the memory of it forever than to remember it for something it’s not.”

Scott doesn’t answer, but Carol knows he’s reaching for (Y/N), to her hand, a shoulder, anywhere he could touch that would mean he understood and gave his silent support. There are common losses in there, the phantom of a pain Carol couldn’t even begin to understand. She supposes its good for them to have each other, whatever way that may be.

Something she was sure of; she could never be what Scott Summers was to (Y/N).

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

Oh, you would find her in a Polaroid picture

And she means everything to me

(Y/N) comes to her when the nightmares get too ugly.

At least when she’s around on Earth for them. And because they do, get too ugly, way too many times for Carol not to hurt about it, but she’s happy enough that it’s her bedroom door (Y/N)’s knocking on when she could easily enough go to Bucky, Steve, Sam, or Tony, who suffer from the same demons and wear their PTSD on their sleeve as easily as (Y/N) does.

Carol stopped asking after the first few nights, now used to just letting her in and petting her hair as (Y/N) rests her head on her lap, lulling her to sleep with soothing, repetitive movements against her scalp and back. Sometimes she starts dreaming again even under Carol’s care, mutters name the pilot hasn’t heard before, and some she has. A mix of Alex, please, no, don’t, dad, stop him, Erik, I’m sorry, don’t hurt, Scott- bubble out of her throat, first as quiet laments until she’s screaming her lungs off, crying and jerking still under Carol’s ministrations.

She doesn’t talk about it. Sneaks out early in the morning before Carol wakes up but at breakfast makes sure to send a thankful look her way, which does help ease the knot that forms at her presence on Carol’s stomach.

One night she comes in with tears still rushing down her cheeks, and (Y/N) doesn’t have to speak for Carol to know her voice is hoarse from screaming and crying. She holds tight in one hand an old, tattered polaroid, a picture of a man in a wheelchair with a little girl sitting in his lap, grinning up at him with so much childish innocence, Carol feels it too greatly and gets the need to look away.

“It’s my dad,” (Y/N) murmurs when she catches her staring at it and sure, Carol should’ve known, not because they look alike but because of the admiration shining in (Y/N)’s eyes and the fondness on her father’s smiling back at her. Not her actual father, though Charles Xavier has proven himself as a man worthy of such an important title, considering her parents left her at his doorstep when she was barely a few hours old.

“Usually, they’re about people that are already gone,” (Y/N) explains, a little quieter and a little more heartbroken. Carol knows she’s talking about her nightmares, a sad shiver running through her spine before she stops her thoughts from derailing. She doesn’t have a right to be upset. “But tonight-”

She can’t bring herself to say it.

“I miss my dad,” (Y/N) whines instead, sounding awfully like a little girl asking for her daddy. Despite everything, Carol aches, too.

“I know,” is all the pilot can offer as a form of comfort, knowing not to push further due the fact that the mutant’s words already sound wet, sniffled enough to be close to tears. “I know you do.”

(Y/N) begins to cry silently against her pajama shorts and Carol pretends not to notice, except that she does, and if she tightens her grip around the mutant a presses a harsh kiss against her hair, just like she did when the mutant was recovering in the medbay after that mission, well. Neither of them mention it.

Oh, oh

And I'll be okay

Admiring from afar

'Cause even when she's next to me

We could not be more far apart

Steve and Tony, against all expectations, manage to fall in love along the way.

There were fights and arguments and so many almost deaths they could no longer count them in both their hands, but if it's one thing Carol admires from them is their capacity to look at each other with more love than the last time, despite all.

The eyes are really the windows of the soul, she guesses.

The sweet aftermath of a mission well done reaches all members of the Avenger as the Quinjet flies them back home, all despite bruises and wounds and some comfortable silences that are threatening to swallow them whole.

Carol’s stare inevitably searches for (Y/N), and she finds her staring at Steve and Tony, during one of their post-mission-I’m-so-happy-you’re-not-dead public yet somehow incredibly private displays of affection, all fond eyes and soft, lingering hands in places where the eager eye usually isn’t looking. Wrists where pulse points can be easily found, the arc reactor where warm light reassures Steve Tony’s alive despite all expectations, fingers searching to outline bruises that will either be fading within a few hours, days or months. Anything to make sure the other is there, with them, and they’re not taking a ghost back home.

Carol wishes she could have that sort of reassurance to rely on.

“You’ve ever fallen in love like that?” Quiet and somewhat hesitant. She probably wouldn’t be opening that can of worms if she weren’t so overwhelmed by what Carol guesses it’s nostalgia along with exhaustion bordering on delirious.

She’s never been more beautiful, and Carol can’t look away. Neither can (Y/N), both of them from their significant target.

“Can’t say I have, no.”

Silence.

Hesitation.

Carol breathes in, let’s go.

“You?”

“A long time ago,” is all she answers, face barely reacts at whatever memory might be passing through her head. Later, after another one of her nightmares, she will dare to talk about Alex Summer midst sleepy sadness. She will ramble to Carol about meeting each other when they were teenagers, falling in love while discovering their powers and helping Charles with the school, losing him first to Vietnam and then to the PTSD, lastly to his own powers after sacrificing himself to save them from Apocalypse. The nightmares that followed, the never ending almost dead haze she falls in and in which she sees him as a promising afterlife. Right now, though, she only shrugs it all off. “Don’t do it anymore. Hurts too much.”

Didn’t Carol know.

“Yeah.”

And she tastes like birthday

Cake and story time and fall

But to her

I taste of nothing at all

“You love her.”

Carol would’ve jumped at Rhodey’s gentle jab, the man worthy of War Machine suddenly at her side, if she weren’t used to the Avenger’s bullshit by now.

It’s one of Tony Stark’s many gala dinners in which he wears a gorgeous black tux along a gorgeous super soldier by his side. Carol’s wearing a silky lavender colored gown, blonde hair gorgeously curled down, nails perfectly made and eyes, as always vigilant, darting across the room looking for what, who she’s always been after.

“Don’t even try to pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about,” Rhodey, as always the best friend figure, is not too intrusive nor too easy on her, and God knows why, Carol appreciates it. “You’re the literal description of heart eyes.”

“What?” she must not understand the reference, cause Rhodey only grins to himself and grabs two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter. Carol accepts the alcohol gladly, even though both of them know that due the energy running through her veins doesn’t allow her to get drunk, no matter how much she wishes she could sometimes.

“You love her,” he says again, and there’s something not quite pitying but rather kind on Rhodey’s stare that still makes Carol look away nevertheless. It’s not a question, it’s a simple statement that has so much truth in it, it almost makes her wanna puke. God knows how she’s managed to get this far with the feeling crushing her ribs and poking at her heart whenever she even looked at (Y/N).

Who, speaking of, is found by Carol’s masterfully disguised as bored stare, and something in the pilot relaxes. The mutant is grinning at something Bucky’s saying, leaning against Wanda as she takes another sip of Tony’s expensive champagne, not yet opting for Thor’s Asgardian liquor that does have the power to get her tipsy enough before the mutant gene washes it all away from her system.

“It’s so great to see you like this,” Rhodey continues, and at Carol’s raised eyebrows that clearly spell, you wanna say that again, boy? he can’t help but laugh, loud and carefree just as Carol hasn’t felt in a long, long time. “Feeling things, I mean. Clint was sure that you were actually a cyborg, and he and Scott got a bet going on about who can get you to cry first.”

“Is this why they insisted on watching The Notebook the last movie night I was here?” Carol feels something like affection for her team bubble on her stomach as she turns back to find (Y/N) quickly in the crowd. “It was good, I mean, just not tearjerker good.”

“Not tearjerker good- Did you not see that ending?” Red lips can’t help but to raise in a smirk at Rhodey’s incredulous tone. He shakes his head, breathes out and turns them back to the conversation at hand before Carol gets to change the subject completely. “What I meant- It’s good to feel things, y’know. They make us human, and human is good. But it’s even better to let them out. You don’t talk about them and they grow ugly things inside of you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Carol insists, still resisting to meet his eye, and as far as she knows, she’s right. Because she’s gotten to know (Y/N) as good as she knew herself, once, before destructive energy rushed through her system and before her blood turned blue and before they tried her to strip her from her humanity, not realizing that falling in love could destroy whatever progress they thought they were making on her.

And she knows the mutant well enough that she’d given up on love a long time ago, after Alex Summers and being stripped of her humanity herself, until she got too tired of watching everyone she loved decay and die around her, so she closed herself off to that sort of pain. She wonders what kind of the ugly things Rhodey had mentioned (Y/N)’s got echoing around in her head. And, against her better judgement, she wonders if she could get rid of some of those demons.

Human is good, human is good, human is good, she repeats to herself like a mantra, until Rhodey’s voice becomes her own and she tries for her heart to settle against her chest.

At the other side of the room, (Y/N) smiles and Carol has never been more in love.

“I’m sure there isn’t,” Rhodey’s sarcastic remark cuts through her rapid train of thoughts, there’s a hand on her shoulder that grounds her enough for her to listen to his last advice.

“Tell her.”

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep

She tastes like apple juice and peach

Oh, you would find her in a Polaroid picture

She doesn’t tell her.

She wanted to, though. That much she can admit to herself because it’s true, during her midnight comforts or before a too dangerous mission, after one of Stark’s galas when (Y/N)’s make up is almost all gone and she looks more exhausted than ready to party but Carol believes her to be more beautiful then.

It rests at the tip of her tongue, always, she has gotten used to those three words hanging around and making a home of the roof of her mouth, sharing room with the fear of losing the mutant’s friendship if she dared to speak them up.

It’s easier this way, she tells herself as she catches (Y/N) laughing mid movie night, Game Night being Clint’s choice of the week and so far, being a success. The mutant’s sitting in between Sam and Carol herself, who’s leaning against the edge of the couch as she does what she knows best to deal with this desire that doesn’t seem to fade away, she stares.

She stares as (Y/N) obliviously catches her and grins back, crediting the easy, content features on the pilot’s face to the idiotic movie playing in the background.

She’s fine. It’s fine. Even if this is all she gets to have, somehow, it’s enough.

And she means everything to me

Yes, she means everything to me

She means everything to me

___________________________________________

hey, bitches

just wanted to get this fic out of my system, i had the idea in my mind for some time and i noticed there’s only a few carol danvers fics here so, here it is!

i'll try to get to work on some other fics i've got in my drafts, y’know that feedback and suggestions are always appreciated, and my requests are always open.

toodles,

- e.

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poisonivysparks · 5 years

Text

He’s a She? {Peter Maximoff X Reader}

People parted around me while the chains, that had been forcefully put on me and my big hellhound, Ash, rattled on the wooden floors of the mansion. I snarled and growled at the onlookers, them backing away even more once they saw the mark that I had made on the furry blue guy, he was obviously pissed at me.

They whispered and pointed when they noticed the blood dribbling out from the bottom of the muzzle, the blood had taken over my sense of taste and my sense of smell. Ash had been growling and trying to bite anybody who even looked at him, even though he also had a muzzle on.

We walked into an office, where a bald guy was sitting calmly at his desk. The blue furry guy shut the door, still absolutely pissed. He was kind of a fun guy to piss off. Quickly, he took off my muzzle, and I tried to bite him again.

“God damn, you’re violent.” He mumbled as I sat there, knowing that they were both out of biting reach. Spirits were absolutely everywhere in this place, adults and children alike.

“What’s your name?” Baldy said with a distinct British accent. “I am Professor Charles Xavier.”

“People call me Hades, but I’d never tell you people my name.” I spat, crossing my arms.

“Alright, Hades, where did you come from?” He asked, putting his elbows up on the desk.

“I broke out of a facility, it’s as easy as that. I found somebody who took care of me, he taught me things, how to fight and use my powers. I was his partner, and he was mine. I ran away about a year ago and started causing some chaos of my own.” I explained simply.

“Who was your mentor?” He asked, eyes widening.

“Erik, Erik Lehnsherr,” I told them as Charles shared an alarmed look with Hank.

“You know Erik?” They both asked in sync.

“Did I not just say that?” I said harshly, trying to get out of my chains.

“You’ll just hurt yourself doing that.” He told me, “Hank, will you take him down to the basement?”

I almost interjected, since I was not a guy, but decided against it, I could ride this out as long as I wanted.

‘Hank’ put the muzzle back on me and walked us down to an elevator, people just stared while I snapped and growled at them.

The ride down was incredibly awkward, except for the sounds of me kicking him once in awhile. He growled at me a little bit, and I laughed at his reaction.

“You really like pissing me off, don’t you?” He asked me as I pointed to the muzzle.

“I’ll stop if you take it off. I won’t bite you, I promise.” My voice came out very muffled, but he heard it. The stupid muzzle was starting to dig into my face.

“You do realise that if you make a move, I will be putting this thing back on.” He told me, unhooking the back of the muzzle.

“Thank fuck.” I swore, bringing my hands up to my face and trying to relax the tight muscles in my face. I felt like a prisoner in the chains and shackles and Ash probably did too. I didn’t try anything, since I didn’t want to get in trouble with him, maybe he could be a good ally.

We walked down numerous halls, so many that I had no idea where I was anymore. He ended up putting me in a bright, white room, with padded walls, it looked like something for a psycho.

“How long are we going to be in here for?” I asked him while he unlocked our chains and Ash’s muzzle.

“Hey, boy.” I pet him while he nuzzled into my chest and licked my face, the fact that he was made of fire and bones, didn’t bother me whatsoever. His lava drool didn’t bother me either.

“The boy and his dog.” He chuckled bitterly and closed the door, leaving me and Ash alone.

I stayed in there for barely more than a week when my sanity started crumbling. I didn’t want to be in there anymore. I could see that I was fed lies by my teacher, all he wanted to do was kill all of the humans and take over the world, and I was a part of that. They were good, Hank was good, and I bit him, Charles was good, and I was rude to him. I wanted to be like them, they had good morals, and they were good.

They gave me three meals a day and I talked with one of the three teachers who came for about fifteen minutes each meal.

“Hank? Is that you?” I asked as somebody opened the door and slid some breakfast to me and Ash.

“Yeah, do you need something, Hades? It’s Thanksgiving.” He said, an undertone of cheerfulness in his voice.

“I want to come outside, out there. I want to be like you guys. I want to be good, I was brainwashed and I see that now. Please, I won’t bite anybody, I’m going crazy in here, Hank. Just let me out for the day, see how I do, please.” I pleaded, choking up a little, but not crying.

“I’d have to talk with Charles about it.”

“Send him down here, please, I’ll do anything.” I pleaded with him.

“I’ll do that, I’m sure he’ll say you can, it is a holiday.” I heard him walking away.

“Thank you, Hank!” I yelled to him, happily

When Hank came back with Charles and I explained how I wanted to be good and how I had been brainwashed.

“If nothing happens in the next 24 hours and you keep your dog under control, we could let you live up in the dorms and take classes.” He said positively and I talked to Ash, telling him to be nice to everybody that he meets and not to bite anybody. He obeyed and Charles opened the door.

The fluorescent lights almost blinded me, and spirits wandered around aimlessly, nobody really standing out.

“Thank you, guys. We’ll be good, I promise.” I told them, as they walked, in Charles’ case rolled, down the twisting hallways.

“I’d expect so, you made a really good case for yourself.” Charles chuckled as we made it to the elevator, it was nice to not be in shackles.

“How long was I in there?” I suddenly asked once we entered the elevator.

“About fifteen days.” Hank answered, he had a bandage on his arm, but he wasn’t furry or blue.

“Wow, that’s way longer than what I thought.” I told them, fiddling with the sweatshirt that Hank had given me.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to the mansion, but this time it wasn’t with shackles and chains.

Everything was busy, teens were rushing from class to class, spirits following, but some people stopped and ran a little faster when they saw me and Ash.

“Can I go free, or do I have to stay with one of you two?” I asked, trying not to be rude.

“You can run free, go try to make some new friends.” Charles told me, smiling a little bit.

“What time is lunch? Or dinner?” I asked, eager to get out there and enjoy the outside.

“Once you see everybody leave, just assume it’s lunch or dinner and come inside.” Hank said, pushing me a tiny bit, telling me to leave.

“Alright, thank you.” I told them, walking into the crowd.

I walked towards the front door, people parting around us and looking at us wearily. The outside was absolutely magnificent, trees, birds, a blue sky, and people.

The people were different, like me, and they all had their own spirits hanging around them.

Only one of the ghosts had stood out to me, he was less transparent than the others, as if he died in the mansion.

He was tall, even for a ghost, had long blonde hair, and kind of a smirk set upon his face. He was following a teen with short brown hair and some kind of visor, next to visor kid was a redheaded girl, and a blue teen with black hair and a tail.

The spirit turned to me and I looked him straight in his blue eyes.

“You can see me?” His voice came out wavy, but stronger than any of the other ghosts I had talked to.

“You died here, didn’t you?” I asked, the wind whipping through my incredibly short hair. “What’s your name?”

“Alex Summers, and I did die here. I tried to save my friends, but ended up blowing up the mansion.” He stayed while the teens had started to walk farther away.

“Alex, why are you following the brunette kid with the glasses?” I asked him and the kid turned around.

“He’s my little brother, his name is Scott, I love him to death.” He told me, the fierce winds not affecting him.

“I might be able to let you see him, I’ve only tried it a few times, but he’d be able to see you for a day..” I told him, even though I probably looked weird talking to somebody they couldn’t see.

“You could do that, for me?” He asked, obviously in disbelief.

“Yes, I just want to help, give people some closure.” I told him.

“Please, I just want my brother to see me.” He was pleading, he seemed slightly desperate.

I spread my feet apart, they slid smoothly across the concrete ground. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I placed my balled up left fist in my right hand, I started to mutter an ancient incantation that summons spirits. Suddenly, my eyes shot open, turning them from their normal hue to a vibrant crimson red.

Ash started to howl loudly, the voices of numerous spirits boosting his voice. A fiery pentagram appeared underneath my feet. Slowly, my chants got louder as my hair whipped slightly in the air, pebbles around me started to float as Alex, started to waver and become less and less transparent.

I felt the familiar drain of my power as the chants stopped along with Ash silencing his howl. Slowly, I fell to my knees, panting slightly, Alex arose, he was now fully visible.

People stared and gasped, seeing somebody who wasn’t there a second ago, appear out of thin air. Scott, looked at his, previously dead, brother in disbelief.

“A-Alex?” Scott stuttered, coming closer.

“In the flesh.” He spread his arms out, and Scott ran into them, crying. “It’s all thanks to this guy.” He pointed to me and I brushed it off like it was nothing.

“How are you..? Why aren’t you..?” Scott started, but Alex finished it for him.

“I’m only here with you guys for a day, I just wanted to see you guys for one last time.” Alex had tears in his eyes as he pulled away.

“Thank you, what’s your name?” Scott came over to me.

“Hades, people call me Hades.” I told him, feeling a little awkward.

“Thank you.” He said.

“It’s no problem, really.” I told him, noticing Hank coming towards us. He froze when he saw Alex.

“Hey, Bigfoot!” Alex waved, his long, golden hair finally being affected by the wind.

“Alex? What the fuck?” Hank said, they were obviously friends.

“One word, Hades.” They shared a bro-hug and I started walking away, I didn’t want to barge in on their moment.

“Hey, dude!” Scott yelled, catching up to me. “Again, thank you for bringing my brother back, even if it is just for the day.”

“You’re welcome, I just wanted to do something nice.” I brushed it off, no thanks where needed from him.

“How come I’ve never seen you here before?” He asked, trying to push the conversation on me.

“You’ve probably heard of me, if you haven’t seen me.” I told him, trying to get away.

“Wait, are you the guy who bit Mr. McCoy?” He asked, making me growl a bit.

“So what if I am?” I said, Ash starting to get pissed off, as was I.

“Dude! You’re a legend! I watched you snap and growl at everybody, you’re a fucking badass!” He told me, a slight smile appearing on his face.

“Can you just leave me alone, please. I’m kind of on probation here.” He frowned as I hopped onto Ash, his fire surrounded me and he whined impatiently, wanting to stretch his big legs.

“Oh, well, lunch is in a half an hour.” He walked away, towards his brother.

For the next few hours, I explored the campus with Ash, people stared and pointed at us, some smiling and some scared.

Once everybody was gone out of the yard, I knew it was time for dinner. The dinner was extravagant, a few hundred people eating it. I sat with Alex and Scott, they were the only people that I knew.

I missed Erik, even if he was feeding me false information at the time, he was like a father to me, he kept me safe.

“Hades!” I heard Charles yell, while I tried to get out of the dining hall. I stopped and turned around to face him. “I think you’ve done well, today.” He smiled at me. “I’d like to get you a dorm room tonight, so that you don’t have to sleep in that dreadful room. I think Peter has an extra bed.”

“Thank you, Charles.” I told him, a little nervous about having to pretend to be a guy almost 24/7.

~Time Skip~

I was sitting in my room, well, my shared room, with a few extra changes of clothes and something to entertain myself with. I was in the dark, but I loved every second of it. The room was great, but messy and the walls were covered in stuff. Ash took up most of my bed, so I snuggled up around him.

I was almost asleep when the light flicked on.

“What the fuck?” I heard a male voice, Peter, I assumed.

“Watch out, I bite.” I said harshly getting up from my cozy spot.

“You’re the guy who bit Fuzzball, aren’t you?” He said, a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, and I guess I’m your new roommate. I’m Hades.” I stuck out my hand.

“Peter.” He shook it. “Sorry about the mess, you were a complete surprise.” He picked up some things, zooming around in a silver blur.

“Wow, that was fucking fast.” I commented as he just shrugged.

“That thing isn’t going to kill me, is it?” He pointed at Ash wearily.

“Only if I tell him he can.” I smirked at him and flopped back down on the bed.

“Looks like I’m not sleeping tonight.” He mumbled and I laughed.

“I won’t make him attack you.” I gave him an evil smirk, he was fun to mess with.

“You’re fucking scary.” He laughed, falling down on his own bed.

“I am the Lord of the Dead.” I snuggled up into Ash, I was tired and it was almost midnight.

“Whatever, I’m going to bed, you seem tired too, goodnight.” He turned off the light, and sped back into his bed, suddenly in a pair of pajamas.

“Goodnight.”

~Peter’s PoV~

It was midnight, I couldn’t sleep, my mind was running wild, which was a good thing sometimes, but not when I was trying to sleep. I sat up and stared into the darkness, right where Hades was.

He looked about my age, maybe a little younger. I didn’t quite know, because he had one of those faces where you can’t accurately tell their age.

I didn’t know what I thought of Hades, he seemed cool, but insanely scary at the same time. Sighing, I ran a hand through my silver locks. I was probably overthinking this thing way too much.

I had accidentally overheard from Charles that he knew Erik… maybe, just maybe, he could tell me more about my dad.

I heard a deep snarl-like snore, which made me freeze instantly. God damn, that dog is fucking scary! But soon enough, the room was almost silent again, the only noise was Hades�� light snores filling my ears.

My mind started to wander towards Hades… He was just so.. Ugh! The way his hair floated down into his face, his bright e/c eyes, everything about him was just perfect. I’m not gay, I shouldn’t be thinking like this! Well, at least I don’t think I’m gay.

But Hades, he seemed so different… His features were softer and not as sharp as the other males I’ve met. He’s fucking adorable, even if it’s in a terrifying way. I don’t think I like him... It’s probably just my interest in the new student. I mean, he literally brought Alex back from the dead for a day! And he looked fucking awesome doing it!

With the final thoughts of a scary dog, the cute new guy, and his powers; I dwindled into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~

When I woke up, the shower was running and Hades was gone, but her scary-ass dog was sleeping right outside of the bathroom door. I looked at the time, 10:03, breakfast would be over in about a half hour.

I heard the shower turn off and a few minutes later, Hades came out, wearing different clothes than before. He had some dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept before last night.

“Breakfast ends in a half hour.” I told him while his dog was nuzzled into his sweatshirt.

“Thanks, I’m fucking starving.” He smiled as we walked out into the halls, they were completely empty. “Huh, looks like everybody went shopping.”

“Yep, with it being Black Friday and everything. what’s your dog’s name, anyways?” I asked, still terrified of the damn thing.

“His name is Ash, and he’s a hellhound, not a dog.” He said in a serious tone as we walked into the dining hall.

“That explains why he scares the shit out of me.” I laughed as he stayed serious, it was incredibly hot.

We got our food and sat next to Alex, Scott, Jean, Ororo, Warren, and Kurt.

“Guys, this is Hades.” I introduced.

“Yeah, this is the guy who brought me back for the day.” Alex said as everybody looked at him.

“Your time is almost up, it’s been almost 24 hours.” He told them, looking down at his food, it was just straight sexy.

“I know, I’m going to say goodbye soon.” Alex said.

~Time Skip A Month~

~Y/n/Hades’ PoV~

I had been sharing quarters with Peter for a month now, and I had developed some kind of crush on him, he made me happy, even though I couldn’t show it.

It had gotten incredibly hard to keep the fact that I was a girl, hidden. He had gotten close to finding out a few times, it was mostly due to me not being careful and being incredibly stupid. I was changing out in the open and Ash was sleeping and he came in, but I had already had my shirt on, thank fuck.

I was sitting down on my bed, just playing a videogame, it was completely mindless, just pixels.

Peter was sitting across the room, his head hanging off of the back end of the bed, facing me. He was just playing with his thumbs and staring at me.

“What the fuck are you staring at?” I asked him, not looking up from my game.

“You.” He responded simply.

“Why?” I asked.

He was silent for a few minutes, he just laid there, eyes searching for something.

“H-Hades, I think I’m gay.” He said, making me widen my eyes and look up at him, I leaned back into my pillows, interested in what he wanted to say. My game laid forgotten on the bed.

“I think I love you, Hades.” He looked away, his face completely red. “It’s fine, or whatever, if you don’t feel the same, because I’m a guy.”

I looked away, my ears felt warm. “I-I love you too, Pete.” There was a moment of silence between us. “You do know I’m a chick, right?”

He looked at me in disbelief. “What?”

“I’m a chick, alright. I’ve been hiding it, everybody thinks I’m a guy. I was obviously too good.” I shrugged, taking my sweatshirt off, showing him my tight tank top and that I did, in fact, have boobs.

“How did you hide it so well?” He asked, obviously still in shock.

“I have kind of a low voice, short hair, I wore baggy clothing, everybody called me a guy, so I just went with it.” I told him, trying to put my sweatshirt on, but he stopped me.

“Is your real name actually Hades?” He took the sweatshirt out of my hands, tossing it aside.

“No, it’s Y/n.” I told him, bringing my face closer to his.

“Wanna makeout?” He asked, and then kissed me, I immediately kissed back.

“Does that answer your question?” I laughed slightly.

“Yes.” He kissed me again, more forcefully than the last time.

And that’s how Scott found us making out on Peter’s bed.

~Time Skip Four Months~

“My dad’s coming to visit.” Peter said suddenly while we were standing outside, Ash nuzzling into his chest.

“Erik?” I asked, excited.

“Yeah, Raven told me.” He said, also very excited.

“I still can’t believe that I was best friends with your dad, at one time.” I laughed, holding his hand.

“I know, and he still doesn’t know I’m his son.” Pete chuckled, hugging me tightly.

“If you don’t tell him, I will.” I poked his chest, enunciating the last two words.

“I’m going to tell him, I promise.” He held my face close to his and pecked my lips.

“You better tell him, because he’s about 20 feet away from you.” I laughed. “Hey, Erik!” I waved and got out of Peter's grip.

“Y/n! What are you doing here?” He asked as I hugged him.

“It’s kind of a long story.” I told him, while Ash bounded up to us. “Peter! Get over here!” I yelled, laughing.

“Hi.” Peter said, appearing next to us.

“You’re the kid who broke me out of the Pentagon.” Erik said, smiling.

“Yeah, I’m also kinda…” Peter started, and I stared at him, wanting him to finish.

Once a few seconds of Peter not saying anything, I spoke up.

“He’s your son.” I told Erik and he just stared at Peter.

“You had a one night stand with my mom, and here I am.” Peter motioned to himself and I started to notice the little similarities between the two, the way their eyes crinkled in the corners and their hands looked almost the same.

“Fuck.” Was all Erik said, running a hand through his hair.

It was completely awkward between us, Erik probably had a million thoughts running through his head, and Peter was most likely regretting coming here.

“Erik, I kind of found a partner in Peter, as in a romantic partner, we’re dating.” I told him, scratching the back of my head.

“I knew you would.” He smiled at me and gave me a hug. “Are you my daughter in-law yet?”

My ears immediately turned red and Peter’s face turned bright red.

“It’s only been four months.” I told him. “I don’t think we’re ready for that.”

“You two seem ready.” Erik said in a manner that greatly resembled his son’s.

“I don’t know if I’d be able to slow down long enough for her, but I’m trying.” Peter admitted, resting an elbow on my shoulder.

“Dude, if you’ve lived with me for this long, you can deal with me forever.” I smiled up at him.

“You two are balance each other out perfectly.” Erik chuckled and started walking towards the front door. “I’m going to go find Charles, just use protection!”

Peter’s face erupted in red and I smiled at him. “Are you really trying to slow down for me? Because I love the way you are and I don’t want you to change.” I fixed his jacket and kissed his cheek.

“I won’t, I promise.” He smiled.

“Honestly, are you thinking about marrying me?” I asked him, taking a serious tone with him.

“Well, yeah. I mean, I love you so much, I just…” He trailed off and looked around, obviously not being able to find the right words.

“Just shut up, I love you more than you’ll ever know.” I laughed.

“I still can’t believe I thought I was gay.” He ran a calloused hand through his silver hair.

“I know, I sure fooled you, and everybody else.” I burrowed into his chest, since he was warm and comfortable.

“You really did, you little devil.”

Masterlist

#X-Men #X-Men Apocalypse #x-men x reader #X-men oneshot #quicksilver x reader #quicksilver #havok #alex summers #scott summers #peter maximoff #peter maximoff x reader #misgendering #lord of the dead #oneshot #imagine

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tamayokny · 5 years

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Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people

This was extremely difficult to do. The first two were easy, since they are my ride or die, but choosing 10 different characters? From ten different things? I don’t know if I even like 10 different things, but I found some loopholes, lol.

tagged by @bpdanakins <3

1. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

Lara Croft has been one of my idols since I was a small child. My mom had bought Tomb Raider: Starring Lara Croft and Tomb Raider: Adventures of Lara Croft for my sister on the PlayStation. I remember watching my sister play it, and then sometimes I was allowed to play it. I continued the Tomb Raider legacy throughout the years.

Lara Croft is just. Amazing. I love every version of her. Classic Lara deflected the life her parents had wanted her to have, and paid the price for it. Did that stop her? No, it did not! She was able to make her own mark in the world. LAU!Lara wanted to find out what happened to her mother, and honestly I love Keeley Hawes as Lara. She was witty and funny, and Legend is one of my favorite TR games. And Reboot!Lara? I love her. I honestly don’t care what people say, Reboot!Lara is great! Her first game is also fun to play. Each version of Lara Croft offers something different, and I love it. While many of Lara’s core values are in each incarnation (adventurous, ambitious, brave, etc.), each brings a new perspective which I enjoy!

Fun fact: my irl best friend and Lara share the same zodiac sign!

2. Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch) - Marvel

I LOVE WANDA MAXIMOFF WITH ALL MY HEART!!! She’s a huge comfort character for me. She’s one of the most powerful mutants (yes, I am ignoring the retcon), and she’s complex. Wanda first appeared in X-Men #4 alongside her brother, Pietro, as members of Magneto’s Brotherhood. Eventually, the twins become heroes and join the Avengers.

Wanda’s mutation is magic; probability, to put it at best. She can warp reality. While she is strong, she is also human. Many remember her best as having a mental breakdown and creates House of M (influenced by her beloved brother). After this, she goes off the radar for a few years before her reincarnated sons find her.

I love Wanda because she has heart, courage, and cares for others. She’s intuitive and sensitive and, in many ways, reminds me of myself. I genuinely love Wanda with all my heart. She remains to be my number one favorite superhero. I wish more people knew her--the real her. The MCU does not do her (or her brother) justice. At all. (At least AOU kind of got their “reluctant villains to heroes” origin story well enough?)

Also: fuck you Marvel for retconning Magneto as the Maximoffs’ father. It’s been 5 years but I still elect to ignore that.

3. Phoebe Halliwell - Charmed

Growing up, Charmed was one of my favorite TV shows. To sum it up, it’s about a group of sisters who discover that they’re witches. Specifically, they’re the Charmed Ones and they protect the innocent. For awhile, I’ve said that Piper is my favorite sister but after my last rewatch, I say that Phoebe is my favorite.

At the beginning of the series, Phoebe was the youngest and the rebel of the family. Before the pilot, Phoebe was living in New York but we see her move back in. We also see that she has a strained relationship with her eldest sister, Prue, due to her scummy fiancé. Phoebe is also the reason why their magic was unlocked. (As children, their powers were bounded in order to keep them safe.)

Over time, we see Phoebe mature more. However, there are a few things that never changes with Phoebe. She’s kind and caring for others, always wanting to help them no matter what. (She shares this trait with the youngest sister, Paige.) She is deeply connected with her emotions (which causes her to gain the power of empathy in season 6). Phoebe has also had rough luck with love (see: Cole the demon, etc.) but no matter how much she gets hurt, Phoebe still has hope. She still has love in her heart. No matter how much she gets knocked down, she finds a way of getting back up, and I admire her a lot for it.

4. Catelyn Stark - A Song of Ice and Fire

Family. Duty. Honor. This is House Tully’s family motto, which is deeply embedded into Catelyn. Catelyn was married to Ned Stark during Robert’s Rebellion, after her former betrothed was murdered in King’s Landing (who, ironically, was Ned’s older brother). Their wedding night resulted in the birth of their firstborn: Robb Stark, heir to Winterfell and King in the North.

Catelyn Stark is the mother of the wolves, and her love for her family is no doubt a core of her character. However, Catelyn is clever and if you mess with her, you will certainly gain her wrath. Her eldest values her for her wisdom, and will turn to her for help. She will do anything for her family, such as freeing Jaime Lannister to get her girls back, or offering herself to save her eldest during the horrific events of the Red Wedding.

Catelyn is murdered, along with majority of the Stark party, at the Red Wedding. However, she is resurrected and becomes Lady Stoneheart. Stoneheart is out for vengeance, because she believes all of her children are gone; taken by the enemy. Stoneheart murders Frey or Lannister alike--whoever is associated with them. She holds no mercy.

There is so much more to Catelyn that I could go on, but I will stop here. (Besides, I need to reread the books again!) I will say this: fuck you, D&D.

5. Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto) - Marvel

MAGNETO TIME? MAGNETO TIME.

Erik Lehnsherr was a young boy when World War II happened and because he was Jewish, he was sent to Auschwitz. His family did not survive, but Erik did. Depending on what you follow on, Erik either A) escaped with Magda (who is the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver’s mother) and started a life with her or B) he hunted down the men who worked for Sebastian Shaw (movie universe).

Anyway, Erik had been a mutant since around the time he was sent to the camps and after the horror and trauma he’s faced, Erik decided that mutants would never be accepted by “their less evolved kin”. So, he became Magneto, a protector for mutants and enemy for humans.

Magneto is only one side of the coin, however. Charles Xavier is a longtime frenemy of sorts, both having different perspectives in life. Xavier believes in coexistence, but Magneto believes otherwise. He had seen what humanity is capable of, and he never wants that to happen again. If he must be a villain, than so be it.

Magneto is beautifully complex. He has done some questionable things (I’m thinking of the comics for this one), but he has also done great things for his people. “Never again,” he says. He fights to keep it that way. Magneto is sympathetic at best, and I certainly understand where he comes from. Tell me this: if you were Magneto, what would you have done?

Also: while Michael Fassbender is not Jewish in any way, he did one hell of a job portraying this amazing character.

6. Kira Yukimura - Teen Wolf

I wasn’t planning on adding Teen Wolf to the list, but here I am.

Kira was introduced to us in season 3b, written as a “new love interest” for Scott McCall. I remember a lot of fans of a certain ship were pissed, but whatever. I’m not here to talk about romance.

So, in 3b Kira was a new student, with her dad as the new history teacher at Beacon Hills High School. She’s of both Korean and Japanese descent, and she ends up playing an important role in the story arc. We find out that she’s a Kitsune, thanks to her mother who explains how a Kitsune and a werewolf must come together to defeat the Nogitsune, who happens to be possessing the loveable Stiles Stilinski.

After this, Kira becomes a part of the McCall Pack and Scott’s girlfriend. In my opinion, they’re cute together but many people hate them together. Oh well. Kira also becomes a badass in her own right, as her abilities evolve. However, in season 5, the creators put her on the shelf, as she trains with Skinwalkers and is never seen again. I am so fucking MAD about that.

Like many characters on this list, Kira has heart and courage. She’s a bit of an introvert but she is loyal, and cares for her pack. She’s cute and a bit goofy. She is skilled and deadly. Kira is one of the coolest characters Teen Wolf had, and the way they treated her was disappointed. (Even though after her death, Allison was always mentioned/connected in some way. I like Allison, don’t get me wrong but all I can say is: interesting...)

Fun fact: Arden Cho, the actress, is the VA for Sam Nishimura in Tomb Raider (2013)!

7. Lois Wilkerson - Malcolm in the Middle

The mother of four boys, the matriarch of the Wilkerson household is not one to push around.

Lois has had a rather rough life. Her parents were not the best, and everyone tries to push her down. However, Lois fights back and is not afraid to stand up for what is right. Francis, her oldest, describes her as an absolute menace and while her sons and husband fear her, they also admire her for her strength and courage. Lois is tough as nails, but she can also break, too. However, her family--the family she and Hal created, no one else--is there for her. Lois is incredibly strong willed no matter what, and I love her so much.

8. Theon Greyjoy - A Song of Ice and Fire

No words can describe on how much I love this fashionable war criminal.

Before the start of the series, Theon is a hostage/ward of Lord Stark, as a result of his father’s failed rebellion. Theon was a reminder that if Balon Greyjoy pulled something again, his last (male) heir would get the chopping block. Pretty brutal for a young child, right?

Now, at the start of the series, Theon is nineteen and is seemingly best friends with Robb Stark, the heir to Winterfell and the North. He shows loyalty to Robb and the Starks, claiming that Lord Stark was like a father to him. He’s also skilled with archery and, like I mentioned earlier, fashion.

Then A Clash of Kings occur, and we began to see how Theon Greyjoy is.

Robb Stark has been proclaimed as King of the North, and sends Theon to the Iron Islands in hopes to gain allies with Balon Greyjoy. However, this does not occur. Old Greyjoy says “fuck that and if you’re [Theon] aren’t with us, then you‘re against us.” We see Theon conflicted, but we also see how strained his relationship with his father is. In the end, Theon joins the Greyjoys, and promptly sacks Winterfell. However, that is not the end. Theon is tricked by Ramsay Bolton and this vile man takes Winterfell. I believe while he took the women and children captive, the men were killed...save for Theon, of course.

Theon is held captive by Ramsay Bolton, and is tortured quite brutally. Theon goes through a lot in this time. His appearance had changed drastically: black hair turned white and brittle, he becomes skin and bones, and loses a few fingers and toes. Theon is no longer Theon. He became Reek. The new Reek.

Then, Jeyne Poole (or Sansa; I hate you D&D) arrives, under the guise that she is Arya Stark and she is to wed Ramsay Bolton. Jeyne begged Theon to help her, but he is in no position of power. He is a completely broken man. Time flies by. Jeyne is in absolute misery but with the help of Mance and some spearwives, Theon is able to escape Winterfell with Jeyne during a winter storm. Currently, in the books, Theon is set to be executed by Stannis Baratheon, who is currently holding him captive.

Theon Greyjoy may be a fuckup, but to me he is such an amazing character. He holds much conflict, from being a hostage/ward to Prince to prisoner. Theon Greyjoy may have done a lot of shit, but he is also a survivor. Everything he has been put through, he somehow lives to see another day. Despite holding negative feelings to Lord Stark and everyone around, claiming he owed no one anything (fair enough), he loved Robb. When Theon had found out he was murdered at the Red Wedding, you know what he thought?

I should have been with him. Where was I? I should have died with him.

Theon is far from perfect, but that is what makes him great. He has come so far, and I hope his journey does not end any time soon.

9. Suki - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Zuko may have the best redemption arc (or does he? See above.), but Suki holds a special place in my heart.

We first meet Suki season one, on Kyoshi Island. She is the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, and effectively puts Sokka in his place. However, when Sokka requests a few lessons, Suki is happy to help...as long as he followed the guidelines.

Suki is a certified badass. Although a non-bender, Suki has incredible skill and event went against Azula. However, Suki and the others surrendered (so that Appa would not be captured), leading to her imprisonment at Boiling Rock. Eventually, Sokka and Zuko free her (with the help of Mai). After this, Suki joined the Gaang in ceasing the 100 Year War.

Suki is strong but like many other characters in this list, she has heart. She is an effective leader and fighter, offering her help whenever she can. Too bad she was never mentioned in The Legend of Korra. Suki is underrated and she deserves more love and respect.

10. Max Mayfield - Stranger Things

We first meet Max in season 2 as the new girl in Hawkins. She seems like your average girl but she quickly gets tied into the party after Lucas begs her to show her what has happened with him and the rest of the party. However, there’s a lot more to Max.

Max moved to Hawkins with her mother, stepfather, and stepbrother. It’s easy to see that Max and Billy, her stepbrother, do not get along. Billy is outright mean to her, lashing out at practically every chance he gets. Max fights back, however...especially when he threatens her friends.

In season 3, we finally get to see Max and El bond. (Thank God we didn’t have to put up with the “jealousy” tidbit. I would have--) El believes that Mike is lying and Max is like, “Well yeah. Come on let’s go to the mall!” and the girls have a blast together. I was so happy to see the two bond and have fun. I was so happy that El was spending time with someone other than Mike. I was so happy the girls were having fun by themselves. Honestly, the best part of season 3 was them becoming friends.

I love Max because she is confident and is not afraid to speak her mind. She’s funny and in many ways, we are alike. (Especially with our attitudes on boys and relationships.) However, Max is also vulnerable. We see this with her stepbrother, especially in season 3 I think. Their relationship was drastically different in season 3 and while many didn’t like it (myself included)...I also thought about Max. She’s a young girl and no matter how much bad blood was in between them, it will be traumatizing to see a transformation like this to someone you know quite well. It would be scary.

Anyway, I love Max.

Honorable mentions: Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat), Ororo Munroe (Storm), Jean Grey (Phoenix), Anna Marie (Rogue), Sam Nishimura, Malia Tate, all of House Martell, Dustin Henderson...

Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoyed reading this. Tell me, do I have a certain type of character that I’m attracted to? Also, I’m not sure who has all done this, so if you haven’t it: who are your top 10 favorite characters? Let me know!

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leafenclaw · 5 years

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Tag your 10 favorite characters of all time

They can be from every book/movie/TV show/Video game, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by @jamlocked, thank you! :D

But also, oh god. XD

Early on as I was making that list, I encountered three problems: 1 - Most of my favourite characters of all time are actually variations on a single character archetype, with a whole damn lot of them even wearing the same name (or similar enough lol). 2 - Most of the ones that don’t fall under this category are from the same 2-3 source material, unless... 3 - ... they’re from sources that I cannot in good conscience recommend anymore, like for example books from MZ Bradley or OS Card that were extremely significant and shaped who I am, but considering what their authors turned out to be, enough said lol.

So instead of a “my favourites of all time” list, I just picked characters that made a significant and lasting impact on me, even if they didn’t turn out to be my absolute favourite from their media source. I hope that’s okay!

Cut for length, because as usual I got chatty.

In no particular order, aside perhaps for the first two:

1 - Jamie Moriarty from Elementary. My everything. <3 She’s made of... honestly, pretty much all the archetypes I inevitably fall for, male or female, but somehow she rises above the sum of her parts and I cannot even start expressing how much she means to me. Other characters in the same general type would be of course all the Moriartys, Magneto, Gellert Grindelwald, Red John, Alice Morgan, etc. A lot of those characters are heavily defined by their sky-high intelligence and deviousness, but more importantly by the shapes they leave behind when they aren’t on screen/on the pages or when they’re hiding behind masks and facets that never encompass them as a whole, and by the way they always make a extremely lasting impact on the protagonist. When it’s a TV show or a movie, the use of camera language (lighting, colour schemes, camera plans, etc.) around them is always tightly defined and significant, and when it comes to literature, the same effect is applied through metaphors and symbolism. It makes the layers to those characters absolutely endless and when it comes to storytelling, it’s the one thing that’s guaranteed to hook me straight away. (Jamie is also obviously my favourite from her source material, even though Sherlock comes high in second place, and Watson a close third. And I also have a baffling soft spot for Joshua Vikner that probably deserves a mention lol.)

2 - Vegeta from Dragon Ball. Started a genocidal alien who regularly committed mass murder, ended a devoted, self-sacrificial husband and father of two (three if you count his son from the future). Still the best redemption arc I’ve ever seen (and probably will ever see) in any kind of media ever. (He is also -by far- my favourite from his source material.)

3 - Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. My fae child <3 Literally the only female character I ever identified with in that whole series. People close to me still regularly tell me I channel her lol. (Favourite from her source material: it’s a toss between Gellert Grindelwald and Severus Snape.)

4 - Jareth from Labyrinth. My (other) fae asshole child found in a trash bin lol. Love of my life before I was 10, kept me sane and believing in magic when I most needed to. I learned contact juggling because of him. (He is my fave, although I love Sarah even when she’s being a dramatic whiny teen.)

5 - Rebecca Anderson from The Mentalist. I have a strong and everlasting love for pretty much all characters in TM, but this one extremely minor character made a chilling impact on me by the fact she’s exactly who I would have turned out to be had I not made one tiny little change at a crucial point in my life. So she makes the list if only for that. (My fave TM character is Lisbon, but the way she acts and reacts baffles me on a daily basis. I understand and identify with Jane much better. Fighting hard in third place would be Lorelei Martins and Madeleine Hightower, I think, but I truly love them all and by this point it’s just nuances.)

6 - Erik from Phantom of the Opera. This one stabbed me with a spoon and ate my heart out lol. I care a lot more for the original Leroux version than the Broadway/movie version, but the absolute top iteration of this character is written by Susan Kay in the pastiche Phantom and I bet every serious PotO fan will agree. (He is -by far- my fave, with the Daroga a distant second.)

7 - Eurus Holmes from BBC Sherlock. This one took me completely by surprise. One of the shittiest character arcs I’ve ever seen, and yet. She’s the one that pulled me out of the meta mindset I had been stuck into since season 2 and gutted me like a fish before I had time to realise what happened. (Jim and Irene share the top spot for their source material, but all three Holmes siblings are fighting for third place.)

8 - Hans from Frozen. The one character that made me realise the storytelling & camera language studies paid off lol (”wtf Disney doesn’t design its princes that way, there’s something off about him!”). I genuinely hated him right off the bat when I saw that movie because he made my gut twist with so many red flags, but the moment he revealed himself as a villain things clicked into place and now I love him lol (I’m so predictable xD). He shares the “hiding behind smoke & mirrors & facets of himself” with the Moriarty archetype, which makes him fascinating to watch and analyse, and for that alone I hope to see more of him in Frozen 2 because I never get enough of that kind of character. (Elsa used to be my favourite, but lately there’s been a disconnect. I’m not sure if I just out-grew her or if it’s a depression thing. As for Hans, it’s a strange kind of love/hate/fascination thing that I couldn’t define.)

9 - Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs. For the sole reason that her fascination for Hannibal and the pull that makes her come back even though she knows he’s terrible for her mental health made me feel seen, and also validated my own fascination and love for villains, which people around me always found strange. (Obviously, my fave is Hannibal. I wish the recent show about him wasn’t so gore. Can’t watch it because I’m too sensitive to on-screen violence and body horror.)

10 - Laure/Mickaël from Tomboy This one is a little harder to explain, and to be honest I’m not sure I really want to. That movie is... questionable lol but maybe you’ll have an idea why that character made such an impact on me if you saw it. (Or maybe not. It’s okay.)

Runner-ups: Link from A Link to the Past, Sheik/Zelda from Ocarina of Time, Jake from The Dark Tower, Scotty Valens from Cold Case, Scar from The Lion King, Billy Elliot from Billy Elliot, Arya Stark from ASOIAF, Garraty from The Long Walk, L from Death Note, and many many others.

I have exactly 10 followers, one of them tagged me, and I tagged 5 of you earlier on something else so I’m not going to harass you people further. XD Steal this if you want to!

#random #writing #I'm not exactly sure how to tag this #I didn't plan on having a 'personal' tag #and I forgot to create an 'answer to tags' tag #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#oh well lol

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exyjunkies · 6 years

Note

14 + andreil? (“Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”)

…………………………..

so i needed to write this plot bunny outta my damn mind

(and i liked this enough to post it on my ao3!!)

fic meme 1-100: andreil + 14. “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”

send me a pairing (preferably from aftg/trc) and a number and i’ll write you a drabble (1-50) (51-100)

Andrew has often thought of how a clock, something built totell time, can fail at its very function the moment it’s set wrong. The thoughtwas unnerving, really, because it only strengthens the truth that time was oneof the many things that was out of anybody’s control.

One of the other things was change. The Columbia house, forall its glory and all the moments it’s lived through, cannot fight against thewishes of time. Though it did look like it tried to put up the best fight itcould possibly attempt. The windows, some slightly cracked and others difficultto open, merely provided glimpses into how much the structure has been through.The welcome mat had the letter O blacked out by ash, from theone time Nicky had set it on fire. The doorbell still worked, but the buttonwas long gone from its mechanism. The house paint was peeling off, and theplants around the side of the house were long gone.

It’s been almost three years since that day. Everyone Andrew knows has told him that this, what he wasdoing, wasn’t helping anyone move on with the natural course of things. Nothim. Not Neil.

Walking up to the house, Andrew wondered when he’ll everstop wanting to coming back.

He checked the time on his watch. 11:38 PM.

He doesn’t think twenty-two minutes will be enough to readyhimself for what was coming.

(Really, he doesn’t think any amount of time will ever beenough.)

The doorknob is cold and unsettling to the touch as ever.Andrew opened the door, and a wind blew in his face. He coughed because of thedust that got to his nose. A few seconds later, he heard the night cricketsoutside drift to a steady silence.

Nice job, Josten. Shaking his head, Andrew broughtout his flashlight, and shone a light throughout the dark house.

When they (Andrew, Aaron, and Nicky) had bought the Columbiahouse in their freshmen year, it was mostly empty, save for the appliances thatthe seller was generous enough to leave them. They acquired a microwave, ablender, and a pressure cooker (that none of them knew how to use until theirthird year). It was a really spacious house, which meant the three of them wasfree to fill it with whatever they deemed was necessary for each of theirsurvivals. Money was no object.

So Nicky was in charge of furnishing, while Aaron made tocall in men for the repairs, and Andrew shouldered costs and looked over wherethings were supposed to go. After three months of arguments and fussing about,it was done, and they had a place to stay whenever they needed to get away fromPalmetto State. They began bringing Kevin along a few weeks later. It was ateam effort to put the house together, that much Andrew knew.

Nicky and Aaron were not the least bit surprised, then, whenAndrew and Neil had ended up taking over the house later on. Nicky had a placewith Erik in Germany, and Aaron was in med school with Katelyn in anotherstate. This was around the time Neil had graduated and was well on his way to anoffer with the US Court, and Andrew was being bombarded with the same offerfrom the US Court that he had rejected the previous year. Andrew remembered walking into the living room and seeing Neil with both contract proposals fromthe Court’s recruitment team.

Leaning against the wall, he hadwaited until Neil noticed he was there at all.

You’re not seriously judging me for going through job offers.Neil’s tone had been playful, a smirk on his face that was probably amused atAndrew’s glowering.

It’s more of an addiction for you, junkie.

It’s what’s keeping me alive. Sorry if this life is so addicting.

You know, if you needed someone to go with you and hold your hand,that’s not going to be me.

Yeah? At this, Neil had put the papers on their coffee table, stoodup, and walked over to where Andrew was standing. In the years that they hadknown each other, Andrew had not grown taller, but Neil had two inches added tohis height. The smile on his lips not withdrawing, he crossed his arms andlooked Andrew square in the face.

Then how are you going to stare at my ass from behind if you’re not inthe games with me?

Andrew remembered looking up atNeil’s face, unimpressed. Tell me onegood reason why I should go back to that game again.

You know the gig’s not half as bad as you make it out to be. ThenAndrew had glared, turned around, and walked away.

A few hours ago, both of them hadsigned with the US Court, and were set to start practices next week. Once theyhad both gotten the notification, Neil had looked and did his best not to burst outlaughing.

I am irresistible, he had declared, winking at Andrew.

One week, huh, Andrew had muttered, hoisting a laughing Neil up onhis arms and carrying him back to their bedroom. We shouldn’t waste any time then.

Andrew shone his flashlight aroundthe living room, the furniture in it now dusty and chipped. Their sofa still had that gash across the middle,and their pillows had almost all the stuffing falling out and frayed. Thetelevision set, once a flatscreen and of the highest quality, now couldn’t beswitched on or even plugged in. A circle of dustless surface was on the coffeetable, where the last ever coffee cup used to be. Andrew didn’t know if Neilhad taken the coffee cup off, or if someone had gone in to take it. Honestly,it didn’t really matter anymore.

To the side, their bookshelf wasstill crammed with books, half of which they never got to read together. Nearit was another shelf, which held framed photos and some souvenirs from thecountries they got to travel to. A mini Eiffel Tower, a golden cat that used towave its paw, a box of one red chopstick because they lost the other one. Atiny Mexican hat, from the first time they flew anywhere. Andrew surveyed thephotographs, looked at the all the faces. A family portrait, with him, Neil,and Sir Fat Cat and King Fluffkins. They had taken it intending for it to be aChristmas card, but Neil liked it so much he wanted it to be the family’s copyand theirs only. A picture of him and Aaron, arms around each other’sshoulders, taken by Neil himself. And beside it, a picture that Andrew hadtaken of Neil holding one of Dan and Matt’s kids, from when they babysat forthe couple.

Of the two of them, Neil had beenmore vocal about wanting kids, simply because Andrew was rarely ever outspokenabout anything. Andrew had it memorized – that look of want that Neil used tohave, whenever one of Dan’s kids would bring him something they had drawn orwhenever they wanted something from their kitchen. Neil had both been subtle(adoption flyers lying around the counter) and obvious (bringing it up whenthey were in bed, before they went to sleep). But what he didn’t know was thatit was a fleeting want between the both of them, something that never happenedonly because they were too busy with everything else.

Looking at his watch, Andrew sawthat he had seven minutes before midnight.

“You don’t mind if I’m a littleearly, do you?”

The voice had come a little tooclose behind him, but Andrew had learned to calm himself down. Neil never meantto scare him, even if his hair stood on end almost every time this happened.Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Inhale.Exhale. That’s it.

He turned around, and behind himwas Neil.

In his spiritual, yet mostcorporeal, form.

A ghost.

“You were always one forsurprises,” Andrew whispered, tightening his grip around his flashlight. Neillooked back at him, shrugging in the most Neil-like fashion.

Ever since Neil had become thisstate, he was always different. Sometimes, he was his cheery, annoying self,following Andrew around the house and talking his ear off. There have beentimes when he was an angrier, snappier version of himself, levitating objectsaround the house and throwing them against the walls. Most of the time though,Neil was merely a shell of himself, less responsive, drifting out of realityfrom time to time.

He liked it when Andrew came tovisit, which was twice or thrice a week. Always around midnight, and not formore than half an hour. Neil had explained, once before, that there wasn’t muchspiritual energy around their part of South Carolina for him to stay long.Andrew didn’t know much about the supernatural and ghosts and spirits, so hetook Neil’s word for it.

At the start, Neil being a ghosthad helped Andrew cope with his death, had helped him mourn the loss. The shockhad lasted quite a while, and then the anger came. Andrew was not proud of howhe handled himself.

It was a day like any other,specifically a day when Neil was home and Andrew was out, taking care of thegroceries. Between the both of them, no one knew that Lola Malcolm hadn’t beencaught by the FBI, and was instead on the lookout for Neil to seek her revenge.Andrew had come home to the struggle between Lola and Neil, and hell had brokenloose from there.

Andrew had succeeded in getting aknife through Lola’s head through her eye, but not until after she had shotNeil in the stomach. There was blood everywhere. And the hospital could only doso much that much blood loss. Andrew threatened as many doctors and nurses ashe could, but he couldn’t change what had happened. Neil was in a coma for agood eight months, before the doctors had the talk with Andrew regardingpulling the plug.

A voice had come up behind him, inthat hospital hallway, and whispered, “Letme go, Andrew. The machines are terrible. It hurts so, so much.”

It took Andrew another monthbefore he could agree to pull the plug. Wymack, Betsy, Abby, and the Foxes,both the old and the new, were there with Andrew, and that was that. No fancyfuneral. No televised news about Neil’s death. No articles in the newspapers,no interviews with the sports channels.

Just a cremation, a jar, andNeil’s ashes, sitting in one of the Columbia house’s cupboards.

It’s been almost three years sincethe accident. And a small part of Andrew was uneasy, if not scared, about Neilstill not being able to transition to the afterlife.

Three years.

Neil put his hand to Andrew’s arm,and Andrew shivered. He could feel the faintest sensation through his shirtsleeve. He saw Neil solidify a bit more and sigh in relief.

“I get the feeling that you havesomething to tell me that couldn’t wait.”

“We’ve got all the time in theworld, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Seventeen years of marriage doesn’thelp you become a better liar, dummy.”

Andrew gritted his teeth. Hefrowned at Neil. “Yeah, well, the real world doesn’t make me deal with thetruth any better, either.”

“And what has been happening in the real world?” Neil’s voice was lessinterested and more of a drone. As if it was draining him to push every singleword out. He went to sat down on their sofa, and continued, “Tell me a story.”

So Andrew told him. About Reneeand Emilio’s third son, who was born premature and had to stay in the incubatorfor a few weeks. About Allison and her fiancé, and their upcoming wedding inthe Bahamas. About Nicky and Erik visiting for Christmas this December. AboutAaron and Katelyn opening up a new private practice in the east. About Robin andher girlfriend, and how she had been coaching the Foxes for almost seven yearsnow. About Wymack in a plush and comfortable retirement home that just happensto adore Exy and him, so they had no problem with Kevin’s specifications. AboutDan and Matt starting an Exy Little League, and how it was going to be biggerthan they had anticipated. About how he and Kevin were still with the Court.

“But you know how I keep thinkingof,” Andrew broke off, inhaling a little shakily. He sat beside Neil. “Ofresigning. They have enough goalkeepers there anyway.”

Neil did a lifeless haha and replied, “Good luck. Last timeI joked about you leaving, Chief always said that wouldn’t happen. “Not on my watch, Josten.” With the gruffdisagreement and all. That kinda shit.”

“It doesn’t do anything for meanymore.”

Which was true. Financially, Andrew was set for (what he believedwere) the remaining years of his life, and he still had some of his fortune fromhis teenage years to add to his Court savings. He didn’t really care much forthe Exy celebrity life, and he only had a few friends in the sports industryand even less of a desire to make more. On top of that, the only reason why hewas still with the Court was because of Kevin, who was still a little abovetwenty-five years or so from retirement. Kevin was convinced that he and Andrewwould be together on the team until then.

Every single day with the team andplaying Exy served to be a reminder to Andrew about just how much Neil livedfor the sport. They had played games with one off the court, but when they wereboth on the court together, they were a force to be reckoned with. Eventually,everyone had ended up looking forward to the games that had the both of them onthe lineup.

Now that Neil was gone… well.Andrew could still close off the goal when the team needed it, but even theleast invested fan could see that games against the US National Team were lessexciting now. It was something no one dared to speak of.

“Well, you know I wouldn’t mind ifyou did,” Neil said, leaning back and closing his eyes. Or at least that’s whatit looked like to Andrew. “Resign, I mean.”

They sat in silence for a longtime after that, Andrew and his arm on the couch’s arm rest, and Neil sittingback on the couch. It was never an uncomfortable silence, that much they bothhad to be thankful for. From time to time, Andrew looked over and watched Neildo his best to materialize, take as much energy as he could from the ground,sometimes from Andrew. But then Andrew knew Neil always felt bad about tiringhim out, so the touches were subtle. Andrew didn’t want to admit that it wasmore draining that he let out.

Besides, if it meant that he couldsee Neil a little better, then Andrew would hold onto Neil himself – if Neilwouldn’t violently lash out and throw Andrew off of him.

“Ugh, we never really got thishouse to look the way it should,” Neil suddenly said, his eyes darting aroundthe room. Andrew snapped out of his thoughts.

“Your eye for real estate ischarming, junkie.”

“Shut up. This place was a dumpbefore I got here.”

Andrew felt his mouth twitch up abit at that, and he saw Neil laughing quietly. For a bit, he looked almost… alive.

“Yeah,” he murmured, shiftingcloser. “You were a real lifesaver.”

Neil looked Andrew in the eyes,and smiled.

Then, as if a spell broke, he suddenlyclosed his eyes and groaned slightly. “Ugh.”

“What?” Andrew was alert, a bit ofpanic rising in him. “Anything I could do?”

“No, I just,” Neil stopped, facingaway from Andrew. After a beat, he spoke up again.

“This always happens. I hate it.”

“What does?”

“Oh, don’t act like you don’tknow,” Neil scolded, a little sadly. “Me wanting to hold your hand, or mewanting to kiss you, and then remembering that— that I’m just… this.”

And here I was, about to tell him that he has to move on. “Neil, pleasedon’t do this.”

“Don’t do what?” Neil snapped, standing up suddenly, making his form waver abit. Andrew was starting to feel his own anger too. It was anger not at Neil,but at the situation that led to this. He did his best to keep it down and puttwo fingers to the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t… ugh— don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

Neil looked down at him, a littleconfused. Then, understanding showed on his face, along with a very pissy mood.

“Oh. Okay. I see how it is.”

In all the years that they’ve beenmarried, they’ve had their fights, and they’ve each had their share of faults.After everything though, they always, alwaysmade it a point to resolve their issues. This was because of the two of them,Neil was the one that hated going to sleep with something wrong between them.

Still, they were human, so nothingwas as perfect as how the movies almost always made everything out to be.Andrew tended to be unresponsive a lot of the time, because he didn’t believein wasting a single breath on useless things, and Neil always had some smartremark prepared to everything because he liked being the last say, socompromises were only arrived at after a lotof work.

So of course, this meant thingsalways had to get messy before they get fixed.

“Neil,” Andrew began, standing upand taking a few steps away from Neil. “You know it’s been far too long. It’sunnatural.”

“So is being murdered at the ageof 46, Andrew!” Neil yelled, theground shaking a little, just because he can make it shake. “This is so unfair.I’m not fucking ready.”

“And no one ever is,” Andrew replied,stepping forward slowly. It was so hard to keep himself composed, but he knewhe had to do it. “But I’m telling you now. You’re not doing yourself any favorsby staying here.”

“Wow, now you’re telling me about what’s best for me. Well, news-fucking-flash, Andrew Minyard. Ithink I can handle myself.”

“No, you can’t! If you can, you would’ve been gone from this place a longdamn time ago. You know I’m making sense. You’renot human anymore, Josten. You have to fucking accept that.”

“And what about you, huh? What is it about methat keeps you coming back? I’m ‘not human anymore’? Fine. Then why do you keep going here, at the crack-of-God’s-ass‘o clock, visiting me?”

“Because I care about you, idiot. Don’t you think it hurts me to see you likethis, too?”

“Oh, boo-freaking-hoo, Andrew Minyard is still alive, getme a tissue.”

Andrew exhaled, getting the rageout of his system before he did anything drastic. Crossing his arms, he saidthe one thing that’s been on his mind ever since he got there.

“So if I went and offed myself.Would that help?”

Neil, as always, doesn’t properlylisten when he’s in the heat of the moment. “If you— what?”

Clearing his throat, Andrew repeatedhimself.

“If I died. Passed away. Left thislife. Etcetera etcetera. Would you finally move on to the afterlife?”

“You’re being ridiculous. Wheredid you get that dumb idea? It’s not that easy.”

“Then what, for God’s sake, wouldmake it easy—”

“Nothing, Andrew! Don’t youfucking understand?”

Neil’s outburst was so strong thata wind blew through the house, and every door in the house began openning andslamming back shut. Andrew was taken aback. The pressure in the room was sostrong, and the doors were so loud.He shut his eyes and took a few more breaths to steady himself. Anger and fearwas not the greatest combination to deal with.

Easy, Minyard.

After calming down himself, Neilshook his head.

“Don’t you get it?” He startedagain, less harshly this time. “My entire childhood, I never got to make anypart of it mine. It was always, new nickname this time around, or new state thenext month, or new house to break into later on. Mom died, and I had to livewith her voice of disappointment wherever I went. It was absolutely miserable. Andthen I came across Exy, which gave me the chance to take a small part of itback. For myself.

“And then the Foxes came along,and. And you guys were everything.Not from the start, no. At the start, a lot of you were major assholes,” Atthis, Andrew nodded in agreement, and Neil continued, “But then you guys becamefamily. And every game that Palmetto State got me to, gave me even more andmore reasons to keep going. Wymack was, sort of, the father I never knew Ineeded. And somewhere along the way, I saw you in a way that I never saw anyoneelse before, and, well, I guess the rest was history.

“I finally, finally had the life Iwanted. And I had that life to share with you. It wasn’t perfect, and it suretook some work getting there, what with my father and the Moriyamas and all,but I made it. I was myself. And I hadthat going for me for a long time. Seventeen years with you was wonderful. ButI knew I wanted the lifetime package. But then Lola came that day, and… andtook it all away. Just when I was just getting ready for the long haul.”

Neil sat back down, leaving Andrewabsolutely speechless. This was a side of Neil that he has never heard before.A lot of things were going on in his mind right now, and none of them was theright thing to say in this situation.

“Do you know what I was doing thatday, Andrew?” Neil continued, not looking up at him. “Because I do. I stillfucking remember. I was about to put in a call for this house I wanted, justoutside of South Carolina. Somewhere in Pontiac. Matt told me about a reallygood deal by a friend of his, so I went to check the house out a couple weeksback. I was going to say yes to the realtor and put in the first payment. Itwas going to be a surprise.”

Sitting back down carefully,Andrew made sure to look at Neil this time, listening to everything he had tosay. He put his hand on top of Neil’s spirit one, watching Neil’s materializedface shed a tear.

“Shit,” Andrew whispered. He hated seeing Neil cry. “I never knew.”

“Yeah,” Neil sniffled, putting hishand to his face and wiping off a tear. “It’s because I did my best to keep thesecret this time around.”

And they stayed like that, staringinto each other’s eyes, for a little bit longer. Andrew could only hear hisheartbeat, the crickets outside, and Neil’s labored breathing, from his entiredialogue earlier.

“Andrew,” Neil murmured. “I’mscared.”

Gritting his teeth, Andrewreplied, “I am too. It was hell tolose you the first time. But this is something you have to do.” After a beat,he added, “It’ll get easier.”

When Neil didn’t reply, Andrew puthis lips to where he saw Neil’s cheek was, and kissed. Andrew didn’t feelanything, but Neil let out a humorless chuckle.

“Thanks for trying, asshat,” hesaid, and Andrew knew they were okay again. He didn’t really know what to saynext, so he only nodded. Neil inhaled, exhaled, and clenched both his fists.

“Fine. I’ll stop being a ghoststuck in the past,” Neil said, and stood up. He rolled his shoulders back, andstretched his neck. “The afterlife can’t be thatbad.”

“If you get sent to hell, please reserve my slot.”

“You know there’s one with your name on it already.”

They could sit there and jokeabout it for another hour, and it still wouldn’t make the goodbye any better. Neilwas off staring at absolutely nothing, like he was trying to find the words tomake it easier. Andrew knew this, so he stood up with Neil, staring into thesame nothingness.

“Hey,” Neil said, after anotherlong, quiet minute. “I’m with you, okay?”

Andrew thought about how a clockcan fail to tell time the moment it was set wrong. It was a fact of life thathe used to be frustrated with, because he had wanted to go back and change thepast. He had wished he did things differently, sway the odds in his favor. Dothe groceries the previous day instead. Get home a little earlier. Kill Lolabefore she got to shoot Neil.

But now, Andrew knew that he neededto stop playing god. Every single thing in the universe was going to come andgo, no matter what anyone did, and nobody could change that.

What made everything morebearable, Andrew knew, was the people that he went through time with.

“Always,” he replied, looking atNeil one last time. He couldn’t believe this was going to be the last time. Thetightness in his chest was enough to stop him from breathing.

It was almost like he was losingNeil all over again.

Neil smiled sadly at Andrew,almost as if he was trying to hold back more tears.

Then, he looked up, and he wasgone. And for the first time since he had bought the house, Andrew was on hisown.

For the first time, Andrew wasalone.

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #thetfcnet #all for the game #aftg au #anonymous #answered #ficmeme100 #uhhhhhh WELL #myfic #aftg fic

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songofwriting · 6 years

Text

Promise Me [ Erik Pt. 1 ]

Fandom: Phantom of the Opera

Pairing: Erik x Reader

Summary: Meeting your soulmate was something that was never guaranteed in life. Sometimes you do get to meet them, but at the wrong time. How does one deal with their soulmate loving another? How does one readjust their life to include someone they didn’t think existed? How does one love someone who won’t let them in?

Soulmates.

It was a strange thought that there was someone out there specifically made to be with you. Though, one could never know if their soulmate was still out there. After all, having seen the world in a monochrome scheme was not a beautiful sight. It reminded you that even after 20 years of being alive, you have yet to meet your soulmate.

It is not guaranteed one will ever meet their soulmate; and if they did, it would be at the worst time.

Mother had met her soulmate a few moments before her death.

Your mother always would tell you the story of how she had given up after 25 years. It wasn’t as if she had much luck anyway. She had to sell her body in order to survive. Your mother had you when she was around your age, having died only a few months after she had given up on her soulmate. The soulmate who held her in her arms, her last moments being blessed enough to have seen a glimpse of what color was.

Her soulmate took you in after her death.

You were devastated, but also grateful that you still had a chance to be with someone who cared for you. Someone who thought of you as their own, even if they had only known you for a few minutes before.

It wasn’t so difficult growing up with her, but it was difficult to think of.

“[Y/N]? Are you alright, my dear?”

Blinking away the tears from your eyes, you shifted your gaze to your mother. Her eyes were filled with curiosity as she wiped away a stray tear from your eyes. Her gaze moved to the locket in your hands, open to show a picture of your birth mother on the right, and one of your second mother on the left.

“I’m quite alright. Just missing her.”

You took a deep breath and then smiled, shutting the locket and placing it around your neck.

“I will be going out to the opera house tonight to see their production of Hannibal. Would you like to join me?” Her mother stared at her, a gentle smile on her face. “I know you don’t like it when I spend money on unnecessary things but,” she walked to the opposite of the room, grabbing a pair of passes for the show before returning to your side. “I figured you’d allow me this one time. It is your birthday, after all.”

You chuckled at her reasoning, giving her a small nod in acceptance. “I guess I can finally use my ‘going out’ dress.” The dress was one you had been sewing and working on for the past few months. It was a past time, along with something you would do in order to make a living.

“Well, I shall be going out to the market to get us some things for dinner.” She kissed your head as she passed by, grabbing her coin bag before heading out. “I will see you in about an hour or so, and you better be ready for the opera.”

After a few moments of sitting in silence, you decided to clean yourself up. After all, the show started in around three hours, and the walk there was not a short one. You sighed as you thought of the opera. It’s quite a large place, maybe you’ll find—

No.

You shouldn’t get your hopes up.

After all, you were probably doomed to not meet your soulmate.

— Time Skip —

You had forgotten how huge the opera house was. You tried not to stare at all the couples but it was hard not to, especially after hearing them talk about all the beautifully colored dresses, or how beautiful their partners eyes shined with the lighting of the chandelier.

“Don’t you fret, my dear,” your mother grabbed your attention, her fingers playing with yours as you fidgeted in your seat. “You will meet your soulmate soon. I can feel it. And you’ll be very happy. Even leave me-“

You held onto her hand tightly as you turned to face her. “I could never and would never leave you, mother. So don’t you dare.” Before either of you could continue, the lights dimmed and the orchestra slowly began to play.

The opera had been going on for a while now, the third act was now beginning. But something had caught your eye. You don’t know how you managed to see them, but you did.

There was a figure in box five who seemed to have his attention stuck on the current soprano, whose name you never caught. Normally this wouldn’t be anything out or the ordinary; It was a box where people could watch the production. But this… person. You assumed he was a man due to his clothing and his stature. It was difficult to make out the face, especially with the whole monochrome color. He seemed to have felt your stare because he became tense. Before you were able to look away, he caught your stare.

And suddenly it happened.

A small gasp escaped your lips as the colors hit you all at once, and for once you were glad the whole audience was applauding the opera singer. It was loud enough to drown out your noise of surprise. Your eyes had left the figure for a few seconds and when you had looked back, he was no longer there.

“I shall be right back,” you quickly informed your mother before rushing out of the room, ignoring her looks of confusion and worry.

You felt as if you couldn’t breathe as you ran up the stairs to the roof of the opera house. For once, you were grateful you remembered the way up here. It had been years since you had been up here; the last time you had been up here, your mother had been alive and she’d point out all the stars she could make out. There wasn’t much a difference now that there was color in your life, considering it was night time, but it was still beautiful staring out at the horizon and being able to see the difference from the flames.

Brushing away your tears, you let your body fall onto the floor, this whole experience having worn you out. In the span of five minutes, you had managed to gain color in your eyesight but managed to lose your soulmate.

“Why did he run away?” You asked yourself, feeling tears well up in your eyes. Had you done something? You truly doubt it. It was your first time meeting after all.

You jumped to your feet when you felt someone staring at you. You couldn’t find whoever was doing so, causing your pulse to quicken.

“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

It had to be him. You might not have seen him, but hearing his voice made your body react a certain way. His voice was deep and soothing, and you craved more.

“You may come out of the shadows, monsieur. It doesn’t seem appropriate for you to keep me wondering what you look like.”

There was silence in the air. It had you regretting your words and you turned to leave, but before you could take even a second step, he spoke again.

“Will you come with me if I show you?”

His words confused you.

“As long as you promise me not to kidnap me,” you joked, not missing the soft chuckle that came from him.

It took a few moments but there he was, nothing what you imagined him like. He was donning all black, a cloak around his shoulders, and half his face being hidden by a white mask. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with your gaze before offering you his hand, “I did my part.”

And so you took his hand, following him as he took you down to wherever he wanted to take you.

The Lair.

It seemed you two were under the opera house. You hadn’t asked any questions as you both navigated around the place. It wasn’t until you got to his, what seemed to be, room of sorts when the silence was broken.

“Are you the phantom who is said to haunt this place?”

His eyes traveled to yours and you held his gaze as he sat you down on his bed. “You can say that. But I do have a name,” he muttered as he walked over to his pipe organ.

Silence.

“My name is [Y/N].”

Another silence.

“And I, Erik.”

It was as if he hadn’t said his name before. The way his shoulders tensed when the name left his lips, his fingers curling up on his pants, causing creases in them. His eyes had traveled around the room, in awe of all the red and gold.

“Is this your first time seeing your home in color?”

Stupid question. Obviously a stupid question. You couldn’t believe you just asked that.

He chuckled as he turned to you, and it was now when you realized how glossy his eyes had become. He seemed to be studying you so you took this time to do the same. It was strange that he was hiding behind a mask, but what was stranger were the markings and scars you could see a few centimeters from said mask. Was he hiding an injury? His skin seemed red under the mask, and you were itching to just ask to see him without it.

You were so focused on his face that you didn’t realize he had moved towards you until you felt him tucking you in. The warmth of the blankets along with the softness of the pillow made you drowsy, and the fact that he had started humming a melody didn’t help this.

It wasn’t long enough before you fell asleep, a smile on your face.

Part 2 should be coming soon :) Feedback is appreciated!

#phantom of the opera #phantom of the opera series #phantom of the opera imagine #erik destler #erik destler x reader #reader insert

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remastered-feedback · 5 years

Link

Alright, lets run down the problems here.

Many, like Butcher, say they’re in training. Others report disability. All are missing out on a hot labor market and crucial years on the job, ones traditionally filled with the promotions and raises that build the foundation for a career.

I don’t think it needs mentioning just how offensive lumping someone who’s on disability in with a group your article is centered around painting as making unwise career decisions. I’m pretty sure most of the people who are disabled would much rather be fully able-bodied and working.

Their absence from the working world has wider economic consequences. It marks a loss of human talent that dents potential growth. Young people who get a rocky start in the job market face a lasting pay penalty. And economists partly blame the decline in employed, marriageable men for the recent slide in nuptials and increase in out-of-wedlock births. Those trends foster economic insecurity among families, which could worsen outcomes for the next generation.

“How dare you not buy weddings you don’t want and houses you can’t afford!”

It’s difficult to pin down whether the demographic wants to remain on the sidelines or is kept there by a dearth of attractive options.

It’s the second one. As a member of the demographic in-question, I can tell you with 100% certainty that it’s the second one. I’d much rather be working, making money, saving up to move out. I spent all summer applying to entry-level jobs supposedly aimed at people with lower skill levels, as well as for jobs my degree should have me eminently qualified for. I’m not unemployed because I want to be, I’m unemployed because nothing is hiring that pays enough to have anything to save after taxes, bills, transit costs, student loans, etc.

Other social changes could be exacerbating the trend. Better video games might make leisure time more attractive, some economists hypothesize, and opioid use might make many less employable. Young adults increasingly live with their parents, and cohabitation might be providing a “different form of insurance,” said Erik Hurst, an economist at the University of Chicago.

“Clearly the problem isn’t a lack of competitive wages or work-life balance, it’s those damn videogames! That, and they’re all drug-addicted layabouts. Those are probably tied to the out-of-wedlock children we mentioned too...”

Replace “videogames” with “rock music” and you have literally the exact same argument that’s been made about every single generation for the past 70 years.

Young men have been reporting higher rates of school and training as a reason for their non-employment in a Labor Department survey, and a large share say that disability and illness are keeping them from work. Those factors explain much of the wider post-2007 participation gap between 25- to 34-year-olds and their older counterparts, according to an analysis by Evercore ISI economist Ernie Tedeschi.

“Those damn lazy millennials, ignoring this booming economy!”

“Actually, a lot of us are too sick to work, and a lot of those who are able to work are too busy getting more advanced training to get a job too. We spent 20-30 years watching our parents work themselves to death in jobs they hated, while they spent the entire time telling us that education and advanced training were the ticket to a better life than that.”

“Of course, it’s the videogames! That and the drugs...”

I can go on about this article for a while, but I have better things to do. Like, topically, applying for jobs. One last thing I want to touch on though is to give my personal experience about why I, a man between the ages of 25 and 34 who is ostensibly the target of this article, am currently unemployed and not partaking in that “hot labor market.”

I graduated college in 2015, and managed to get a job in my field a few months after graduation. I worked that job until mid-2017, when I quit to go back to school. The main reason I quit was because it became clear pretty quickly that there was no room for advancement in that company. Two annual reviews in, I was working the same entry-level part-time position that I started with, at the same entry-level hourly wage I started with. With the exception of Jewish holidays - which I think I made up for by coming in on Christmas and Easter - jury duty, two days I was bedridden, and that time there was literally an overturned truck blocking the highway, I never missed a day, and I never said no. They said jump, I said how high, did everything you were supposed to.

Both of my annual reviews were glowing, and yet in this job that, according to the article, was supposed to be full of raises and promotions, and doing work that, according to my manager, was top-notch, I repeatedly got passed over for both.

Annoyed that I was working borderline full-time hours - technically you’re not full-time unless you’re working 40+ hours a week, and I was routinely working 36-38 - without any of the benefits of full-time work, regularly getting at-most one day off a week, all just for an attaboy and a paycheck that barely covered commuting costs and student loans, I quit and went back to school.

I thought about getting a different job in the same field, but I decided school made more sense, because programming and network security, the two fields at the heart of Maryland Governor Larry Hogan’s jobs initiative, a jobs initiative he’s so proud of that it was one of the core pushes to his reelection campaign earlier this week, had much higher earnings potential than my old field.

To recap, I found a job, worked it for a year or two, did everything I was supposed to and then some according to my boss, yet got passed over for a raise or a promotion multiple times. Dissatisfied, and at the urging of my pro-business, pro-jobs governor, I left and went back to school to get certifications and complete coursework to change careers into the field he was aggressively pushing for more people in my state to change into. I did very well in my courses, got certified, and spent all summer applying to entry-level jobs in my new field. I got one call-back all summer, and it was for a company that wanted me to relocate to Northern Virginia for a job that paid less than $20,000 a year. Housing in northern VA is ridiculously expensive, with a median house value over $500k. To call that financial suicide would be an understatement, especially since my interviewer made it very clear that raises, promotions, or other advancements would not be happening for at least three years. Eventually, I got desperate enough to apply for jobs in my old field, and the only place that returned my call was the place I used to work. I’d prefer not to return there, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m considering it.

I’m not asking for pity. My ship will come in eventually, even if it’s less of a ship and more of a canoe, and even if I have to build the damn thing myself, board by board. All I’m asking is that instead of assuming that that millennials are out-of-work because we’re lazy drug-addicted gamers with unrealistic standards, consider that maybe we’re out-of-work because we’re getting next-to-no job offers, that the job offers we are getting pay so little that once you factor in the costs necessary to take them, they’re a net loss, and that when we do actually get a job, those raises and promotions you seem to think are so plentiful are nowhere to be found even after literal years of good, hard work.

Also, stop calling this a red-hot booming economy. Wages are stagnant and haven’t kept up with inflation in our lifetimes, housing has become prohibitively expensive in the majority of cities with jobs to offer, underemployment is at the highest it’s been in decades, and the vast majority of jobs that have been created since the recession are low-wage, part-time jobs with no potential for advancement or career prospects.

The only people this is a booming economy for are people who were already well off. For people trying to get started or who don’t have much money in the bank, the people that this article is criticizing for our lack of economic participation, this is a horrible economy where everything is expensive, home ownership is a pipe dream, nobody’s willing to hire anyone for more than minimum wage, and in the off chance you do land a job that’s not a dead end, they have no interest in giving you a raise or a promotion at any point.

#Drama ahoy!#Feed is mad

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