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violettelueur · 3 years

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— KUGISAKI NOBARA || MAYBE ANOTHER TIME

↳ featuring : kugisaki nobara from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues and spoilers for non-manga readers

↳ spoiler warnings : chapter 37-38

↳ form : imagine

↳ published : 20 january

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 1.6k

↳ request : Hii!! May i request a Nobara Kugisaki x fem reader imagine, in which she has a crush on them and its obvious to everybody except her? Maybe throw in some angsttttt?? (This is the anon that requested smth similar to this)

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, with the scenario i made, i don’t think i was able to put any angst into it ʕ ﾟ ● ﾟʔ but i hope you really like it! also the next imagine will be staring mr. gojo satoru - the man that has everyone leaving their significant others hehehe ʕ￫ᴥ￩　ʔ but other than that, i hope you enjoy you cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please come to the cafe again soon ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆

“Itadori, Fushiguro, this is really important announcement that I have to make.”

Both of the mentioned sorcerers looked upon their classmate with utter confusion painted on their faces as they weren’t sure on the current reason why Kugisaki had commanded them to have a meeting together without you involved. However, Itadori and Fushiguro didn’t express any disagreements due to knowing how the female sorcerer could become when she got either annoyed or extremely irritated.

“I, Kugisaki Nobara, have a crush on L/N Y/N,” Kugisaki suddenly announced causing both of the boys to look at her with surprise before unexpectedly declaring to the weapons sorcerer, “we already knew that,” leading Kugisaki to look at Fushiguro and Itadori with widened eyes of utter shock before immediately slamming her hands on the table they were sitting at as she swiftly stood up.

“HUH?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ALREADY KNOW?” Kugisaki angrily shouted as she intensely eyed her two classmates trying to find the reason or reasons on how they already had knowledge of her unrequited feelings towards you.

“I can’t lie, your feelings are quite obvious Kugisaki,” Itadori carefully mentioned, as he didn’t want to anger the female sorcerer more to which he then continued by saying, “but I don’t think L/N knows about them at all,” leading Kugisaki to drop back into her chair as she then slumped on her chair in relief due to the salmon-haired boy’s comment.

While on one end, Kugisaki was extremely content on the fact that you have no acknowledgement of her feelings towards you but on the other hand, she was frustrated that her actions towards you weren’t getting through to you at all and that she was somewhat nervous to confess to you, leading to the orange-haired girl to groan in frustration to which was caught on by both Fushiguro and Itadori.

“I don’t think there is anything to be scared about,” Itadori quickly mentioned as he tried to calm his friend down before leading his statement with, “so what are you worried about?”.

“She’s worried that L/n is only attracted to men,” Fushiguro bluntly stated, causing Kugisaki to quickly look at the shikigami user with a death glare before instantly flopping back into the dis-hearted position she was in previously.

‘Don’t be too blunt, you idiot’

However, she couldn’t argue with Fushiguro, she was completely and extremely worried at the fact that you only were attracted to men. To be honest, your actions didn’t help either whenever the four of you were on missions together.

From what she could recall since the day she arrived at the capital, Kugisaki thought you were gorgeous the second she laid eyes on you when you stood between Fushiguro and Itadori in front of Harajuku Station and she wasn’t the only one. When everyone was making their way to Roppongi, you were stopped by quite a few modelling scouts along the way to which you, of course, rejected due to your occupation of being a first-year jujutsu sorcerer only for one of the scouts to become physical with his persuasion leading to your childhood friend Fushiguro to step in and help dissolve the situation.

‘Ugh, she probably likes Fushiguro’

However, other than your physical appearance, what Kugisaki loves about you the most was your determination and strength. She clearly remembered when you were with her and Panda during the Kyoto Sister School Goodwill Exchange event and you had somehow managed to defeat Muta so quickly despite being a grade lower than him causing her feelings towards you to only manifest even more than she had anticipated from the start.

“Fushiguro, what’s L/N type since you are her closest friend?” Itadori then curiously asked, as he wanted to help Kugisaki with the whole ‘feeling towards you but doesn’t know if you like females’ situation - but he also didn’t want to be a victim with her wrath like he had been many times before.

“She never really told me what her type was,” Fushiguro muttered as he continued reading his book that he had taken out in the middle of Kugisaki’s breakdown leading to Kugisaki to place her forehead on the table with shame as she began to recall that her two classmates right in front of her was no help at all - in fact, Itadori and Fushiguro were both useless when it came to the topic of you.

“Ahhhh Fushiguro, she probably likes you,” Kugisaki muttered under her breath as she then lifted her head up to send other menacing death glare towards the sorcerer causing the shikigami user to somehow feel shivers as he felt the dark aura exhibiting from the girl’s body.

“Fushiguro is handsome, but that doesn’t make me like him at all.”

Suddenly, upon hearing that comment, Kugisaki shot straight up and quickly looked to the side, only to find you leaning forward across the table as you gape at your childhood friend before pulling the extra seat out that was next to your now flustered classmate leading to some questions to swim in your mind.

“What are you guys talking about now? I feel left out, to be honest,” you asked, as you took your seat leading to the trio to uncharacteristically become silent.

‘Now this is awkward….’

Breaking the silence, you couldn’t help but question your three classmates further since you managed to hear some parts of the conversation they were having when you were walking around. “Did I disrupt something, because I can leave if you want,” you kindly offered, as you began to lift yourself up from your seat as quickly as you sat down. However, before you could fully stand up, Itadori quickly exclaimed that you didn’t need to leave and that he actually wanted to ask a few questions to you.

“L/N, would you rather have a male or female as your significant other?” Itadori suddenly asked you, leading you to look at your friend with slight confusion displayed on your face before looking around the table only to find that everyone else was also interested in your anticipated answer - even Fushiguro seemed to be intrigued to your surprise.

“I don’t think that really matters, to be honest, I have no issue with gender at all,” you casually answered, leading to the trio internally sign in relief at your answer since Fushiguro and itadori didn’t want to see their friend disappointed, while Kugisaki realised that she still had a chance.

“Do you have a crush on someone right now?” Kugisaki questioned, trying to act natural and confident as she didn’t want to explicitly showcase any of her lingering anxiety in front of you.

“I do, but I’m scared that they might not even like me that way one single bit,” you replied with a light tone as you then playfully sighed in disappointment leading Kugisaki to counteract your statement in a frustrated tone, “what do you mean? I bet they really like you L/N a hell of a lot, it’s crazy to think otherwise!”.

“But what if she only likes guys though, ugh that’s such a drag,” you mentioned with extreme annoyance. However, this little statement of yours caused all three of the sorcerers with you right now to gape at you with broadened eyes.

‘Wait…’

‘She?’

‘ONLY LIKE GUYS?’

“L/N, YOU LIKE A GIRL?!” Itadori and Kugisaki screamed in shock, leading you to look at both of your energetic friends in extreme confusion before quietly commenting, “didn’t I just say that gender wasn’t an issue?”

“We can help if you want!” Itadori excitedly commented with a hint of shine in his eyes causing you to giggle slightly before saying, “thank you, but it’s fine, I’ll rather be friends with her than make things really awkward in the end,” leading to the lively duo to sit back down into their seats with a small pout on their faces.

“Why do you look so disappointed? That’s the reality of crushes you know, once you confess there is no going back no matter what answer you are given and it’s hella more awkward when they are the same gender as you when you get rejected,” you quickly explained as if you had experienced it - when in reality you haven’t at all.

“Yeah, but I like a girl as well, so we’re in the same boat,” Kugisaki confessed as she pointed at herself leading to you to look at her in shock as you didn’t accept your friend to be in the same situation as you. “I feel like she wouldn’t like me at all since I've given her some clues here and there but I do know that she likes girls, so I am kind of in the clear of that!” Kugisaki explained as she looked at you with hope in her eyes causing you to gently smile at her due to how cute she looked.

‘Ain’t she adorable?’

“Lucky you then,” you said with a small smile on your face as you turned to look at your other friends as they continued to ask questions about newly known crush leading you to answer them as briefly as possible since you didn’t want to reveal too much to them since you weren’t going to risk your secret to the girl that was next to you.

‘Maybe another time’ you and Kugisaki thought as you both continued to stare at the boys that were seated in front of you.

However, what they didn’t notice was how yours and Kugisaki’s hands were lightly brushing against each other under the table until you both unexpectedly linked your pinky fingers together causing a shy pale pink blush to appear on both your faces.

‘Yeah, maybe another time’

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arianajbb · 3 years

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FIC RECS - 1

💕 Clueless by @justsomebucky

Movie AU. Inspired by Clueless - A high society boy and a do-gooder-type girl find love.

💕 as you wish, ma’am by @aescapisms

SOCIAL MEDIA AU || Bucky Barnes fucks up and sends you the wrong presentation file.

💕 A Lesson In Love by @buckyywiththegoodhair

(College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

. 💕 The End Of The War by @redgillan

Everyone knows you and Steve can’t stand each other, but after he runs into you after one of his fights, he starts to see you in a different light.

💕 Babies! Assemble by @honeyloverogers

On a mission involving time travel, as if they haven’t learned at all that it’s dangerous, the Avengers get turned into babies. Including your boyfriend.

💕 Have You Any Wool by @threeminutesoflife

Dinner with Ransom doesn’t go as planned.

💕 Peaches and Plums by @cptnbvcks

After escaping hydra, Bucky finds a pretty peach vendor to work out his troubled mind with.

💕 Stitches by @revengingbarnes

You’re just a clueless new medical student. You’re not equipped to deal with charming, witty, handsome doctors. Especially not ones with pretty blue eyes that make you weak in the knees.

💕 Saturdays by @sunmoonandbucky

Bucky Barnes has a new routine.

💕 Love Made Me Crazy by @sinner-as-saint

It was all strategic; a plan meticulously constructed by you and your business partner; against James Buchanan Barnes. Not to take him down, no. But just to surpass him in the business world by uncovering his secrets; to learn his ways and hope to be better than him in every way possible. The façade you put up – of being close to him and earning his trust was supposed to be short-lived, most importantly; harmless. But then as always, things got a tad bit more complex when feelings intervened…

💕 To Be So Lonely by @wlntrsldler

When Bucky and Y/N signed up for this online pen pal system, they never expected to grow attached to the other person behind the screen. In the pen pal system, they can only unlock the other person’s messages on the 25th of each month. They can write and send off their response as soon as they want but the other person is not able to see it until the 25th.

💕 eye candy by @angelwidow

Being Tony Stark’s receptionist was hard. Working alongside the most gorgeous salesman you’d ever seen was even harder. Actually talking to said salesman? Well, that was just insane.

💕 Strange Times by @beccaanne814

You have a certain type - smart, charming, and handsome as sin. For years you’ve been in love with the only man you thought possessed all of those traits, but a chance encounter with a Strange individual sends you and a certain ex-assassin on a journey of self-discovery. As you try to find a way back home, will you also be able to uncover the perfect man hidden beneath layers of guilt and self-loathing.

💕 Stuck Wit U by @slyyywriting

You and Bucky don’t get along. Your fights have become too destructive so Tony and Steve decide that enough is enough.

💕 Take Me Higher by @buckychrist

Who knew that the way into the big broody super soldier’s heart was through his unmet need for a good cuddle?

💕 x by @mcfreakin-bitch

💕 x by @thejamesoldier

💕 Betrayal by @midnightsunfae

Bucky catches you flirting with someone at a party and he doesn’t take to it very well.

💕 two paper airplanes flying by @feliciahardyn

ransom drysdale will always find you, no matter where you are. always.

💕 Dear Lover by @feliciahardyn

you dance with bucky barnes in the obscurity of your room as you recalled the first time you met and how three years later you ended up tangled in each other’s arms. (based on the song “lover” by taylor swift)

💕 Make You Love Me by @slyyywriting

You flirt with Bucky every single chance you get.

💕 The unseen one by @extremelyblackandwhite

The God of the Underworld falls in love with a mortal.

💕 Hellfire by @chamomilebottom

💕 Promised by @cherienymphe

when you start waking up with bruises you can’t explain, your nightmares turn into a reality.

💕 Everything by @trillian-anders

💕 tell me you own me by @darthstyles

mean daddy harry comes out to play

💕 The Chef’s Strike by @bucky-smiles

A contract went unfulfilled…

💕 Bittersweet Temptations by @revengingbarnes

Y/N Y/L/N loves coffee, always has, which is why she spent all her adult years creating the perfect coffee shop. Cutesy, homey and cozy, it’s the job of her dreams. So what if business has been a little slow lately? It’s her happy place, it would always be. But that was all until the flirty, witty and obnoxious Bucky Barnes opened up a rival coffee shop two blocks down the street. Business and profit are all Bucky cares about. He’s the exact opposite of everything Y/N stands for, and naturally, she can’t stand him. But what happens when Y/N is running the risk of losing her beloved shop and Bucky’s the only one lending her a helping hand?

💕 The Neighbor by @staymay5

💕 came in close by @buckyskorpion

what could possibly go wrong with a couple of good-natured pranks between sworn enemies?

💕 (1) New Message by @yikeswtfmate

One night Wanda and Nat dare Y/N to text her hottest ex. She complies, only to realise it’s not her ex she’s texting and this might be the most attractive man she’s actually laid eyes on.

💕 Eye For An Eye by @sinner-as-saint

Battered and bruising, Y/N is out to seek sweet revenge from a man, James Buchanan Barnes, who tore her family apart 10 years ago. Y/N’s plan was simple; infiltrate his life, mess with his head, toy with his heart and leave him broken. Headstrong, she will stop at nothing, not even when it comes down to her being the villain in her own story…

💕 Under Oath by @ugh-supersoldiers

The people called for justice, the state answered. The trial of State v. Barnes is set to begin, and the odds are most certainly not in favor of the not so beloved ex Winter Soldier. That’s where you come in, the quick, smart, and all too brave lawyer set on defending and saving one Bucky Barnes from legal prosecution. The only problem? He’s not so sure he’s worth saving at all.

. 💕 Hate To Love You by @revengingbarnes

While on her death bed, Y/N’s mother has just one wish; her daughter to be married and settled in her life. It’s something her mother has never stopped pestering her about. But up until now, Y/N had managed to not give into her family’s traditions of arranged marriage. And she might have continued to do so if weren’t her mother’s last desire. Unable to refuse her mother’s desperate plea, Y/N agrees to meet the man her parents have chosen for her. There’s just one tiny problem. Her soon-to-be husband is her ex. More tragically, he’s the one ex she never managed to get over.

💕 Everything by @hootyhoobuckaroo

. 💕 late night devils by @whistlingwillows

Bucky gets revenge on his ex with you, the girl he never got over no matter how much he thought he did.

💕 Safe with Me by @bitsandbobsandstuff

When an unknown threat enters your life, protection is offered at the highest level. As Bucky Barnes comes into your life, the game changes, and you realise falling for the man tasked with keeping you safe is the last thing you expected.

💕 Wildest Dreams by @hopesbarnes

Everyone said he was a bad guy, that he broke hearts. But maybe they were wrong about him.

💕 Things Bucky says during sex. by @steveodinsonbarnes

💕 charming by @venusbarnes

in which you’re a girl in need of protection, and Bucky’s the perfect man for the job.

💕 one stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days by @buckthegrump

Bucky has a pen pal.

💕 Just One Kiss by @sarahwroteathing

Bucky Barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. How long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss? (40′s happy ending AU)

💕 Come Over by @moonstruckbucky

You’re new to New York City. Fresh out of post-grad and wanting a change of pace, and this change comes in more ways than one.

💕 Even In The Darkest Times by @justauthoring

Bucky x reader where they were together in the forties and when Steve goes back, he sends her into the future so she can be with Bucky while he stays in the past with Peggy.

💕 Hearts Don’t Lie by @daenyara

when y/n and her family have to leave Europe to escape the war, finding love in New York is the last thing she expects (and the last thing that interests her). Much to her annoyance, her parents set her up with the one person in all Brooklyn she cannot stand: the charming James Barnes, who’s decided to show her he’s not as bad as she thinks.

💕 A Bid on Bucky by @samingtonwilson

You spend thousands of dollars at a bachelor auction for Bucky when you could’ve had him for free this entire time.

💕 Helpless For You by @sgtjbuccky

A blind date has lead you and Bucky to the fourth date. Each one proving that you’ve got it bad more than prior and it doesn’t quite matter what will happen - you will keep on falling for that handsome devil and you don’t even mind.

💕 Lavender by @wkemeup

Not every nightmare is the same and Bucky doesn’t always wake up as the man you know.

💕 Fixed by @drawlfoy

draco has a teasing relationship with the reader–they playfully argue and go back and forth but never acknowledge the fact that there may be something more. draco notices her pulling back and becoming more reserved. he follows her out of the dining hall one day to find her having a breakdown over a dark secret.

💕 Anytime by @notimetoblog

Bucky is still cautious when it comes to touching people & vice versa. one day after a mission, the avengers are in the quinjet on their way home, Bucky sat down beside the reader & accidentally falling asleep on her & snuggling her. she doesn’t make it a big deal but all the other members are surprised. just fluff involving soft Bucky.

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taechaos · 3 years

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I was totally not stalking your blog :D, and caem across this drabble of the notebook were Oc is insecure about her body ans how jk would react, and it was so ummm good?, amazing?, fantastic? and now im kinda wondering how that same situation would go but with Tae from the idea series, only if it is okay

oh thank you so much :DD ALSO I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED BC THIS IS RLY EXCITING 😫😫 love me a stalker tho

ps not proofread cuz its 5 am lOLLoL

Nights are dreadful. You've been having trouble sleeping for some time now, each day going to sleep a little later than the day before, and normally you'd be worried about your sleep schedule for when you eventually go off to college, but you're not. You dread the night because not only do you toss and turn until the sun rises, but because of the overthinking that comes with.

Your hormones are toying with you, from the self-deprecating thoughts to breaking out. If the blemishes and the scars aren't enough, you feel heavier. Normally, you wouldn't care so much for these factors because it's the cycle of life and mother nature, and usually there's no one around to judge you; but Taehyung is in your bed every night, and he sees you every day.

Now, you didn't use to care so much about Taehyung's thoughts about your appearance because he's your step-brother. That was until you began harboring some feelings for him due to a few turn of events, and well, now you're insecure and care about what he thinks. And he's around you all the time, so he's destined to judge you at some point.

These thoughts, along with the fact that you don't like yourself so much right now, are not helping. They're haunting, if anything, and you turn on your side in the dead of the night with Taehyung sleeping on the other end of the bed.

At least you thought he was until he smacked your hip over the blanket with a grumble. "Stop fucking moving, damn." He doesn't sound like he just woke up, instead his tone is alert and slightly irritated. Nights with you have been disastrous because he can't cuddle you from how many times you switch positions and the way you refuse affection. He's stopped himself from slapping you multiple times for whacking his hand away or your witty remarks. Such a bitch.

"Go to your own room then," you huff in a hushed voice and roll your eyes. Your back no longer faces him when he pulls on your shoulder, prompting you to look up at him with crossed arms. He's not impressed with his empty gaze; clearly tired after a busy day and still up at 4 AM. He props his elbow to lean his cheek on his fist.

"Are you afraid I'm going to fuck you in your sleep or something? That was a one time thing– okay, maybe more than once," he rolls his eyes when you look at him sarcastically with high brows and low lids, "but it's not like I'll do it again! I respect women and consent and all that good stuff now, so with this reassurance, let's fucking sleep already." He taps your cheek before throwing his arm over your chest and snuggling his face into your shoulder, his figure practically covering half of you. You don't move as he blows out a deep breath through his nose, clearly relaxed while you still have your eyes open.

A moment of silence passes, and Taehyung whose sense of time is greatly flawed, peeks an eye open to see if you're asleep after twenty seconds of waiting. "Are you awake?"

"No, Tae, I sleep with my eyes open," you spit and he immediately flicks your forehead with his finger. You whine at the sting. The sibling energy irks you when you think about his impact on your sleep schedule, and so on...

"No wonder you always look like a zombie nowadays," he sighs with a shake of his head before joking, "Ugly."

The only sensible reason as to why tears well up in your eyes instantly is that your period is approaching. That must be it, you convince yourself and purse your lips to stop the gradual trembling. It simply isn't the best time to joke about your appearance, because lately your heart intends to take everything so seriously. You hate your current sensitivity, but you can't exactly lower it on a scale.

So you just hold it in.

Taehyung waits for a response for a whole minute before squinting at your side profile. He can see another layer building up on your eye, and he holds himself up by his palm to get a closer look. "Are you good?"

When someone tries really hard to hold back tears, it's so easy for them to break down just by hearing the question: "Are you okay?" Taehyung isn't so empathetic in his approach, but the result is the same when you blink. It's 4 AM for God's sake, people play truth or dare after midnight for a reason. It feels just so intimate at this time, and you can't help the one sob that slips past your lips.

Your step-brother stares wide-eyed at you before bursting out in laughter. "Oh my God, don't tell me you're crying because I called you ugly?"

"Shut up," you demand with a wavering voice. Not the best time to be mocked either.

"Princess, I was kidding," he straddles you by sitting on your thighs to lean down, hands palming your flushed cheeks as he chuckles. "You cry so easily."

Taehyung is arguably either the worst or the best consolation by how he makes your sadness feel so out of place; stupid and worthless.

"I know I look like shit, okay?" you hiccup and slap his hands away to wipe your tears. "You don't have to be around me all the time if you find me so ugly. You know I'm insecure. Wh-why would you say that?"

He clicks his tongue and brushes away the hair strands sticking to your face. "Because I didn't know you'd be so offended by it. Princess, take a joke; I was just commenting on your eyebags. You look like a fucking raccoon."

Your cries get a little more heartwretching when you struggle to breathe over your hiccups and sobs. "You're so mean!" you cover the top of your face in shame. "Do you enjoy watching me cr-cry?"

"Kind of," he scratches the back of his head with a sheepish grin. Your sudden temporary silence makes him sweatdrop and avoid eye contact. "Okay, listen, no, I just don't feel bad about it. I mean I would be mad if someone else made you cry, but you're crying over a joke–"

"Just leave," you cut in with a sniffle. You stare at the ceiling as your lips fall into a hard line. Though you know you'll change your mind later, right now he's more toxic than you can bear. Every word he says cuts deep. "You're making it all worse."

"Okay, wait," he holds up his hand with a sigh. "Tell me what you're insecure about. Your body? I'm the only one who'll ever see it, so who gives a–"

"You called me ugly."

"You are gorgeous, okay?" he emphasizes each word and closes in on your face. "There is nothing I don't love about you. Ugh," he shivers, "didn't mean to sound romantic."

You're growing sleepy as the aftermaths of your breakdown, and you can only muster a chuckle at his genuine distress.

"Well, I already started, so I'll go full simp mode, your body is a temple, queen. Scratch that, you're my fucking goddess. I want to worship you, but someone's been too busy crying and staying up to notice my sexual frustration for the past week."

A laugh escapes you at his antics that you only get a glimpse of every now and then. You know he doesn't know how to comfort you or take care of you when you cry, but his humor works in his favor.

"By the way, I can't believe you didn't let me touch you," he scoffs. "I was going to start doing it in your sleep again, but you wouldn't even do that! Then you go around, bitching and whining about being ugly like a stupid girl."

"Stupid? I–"

He cuts you off by pressing his index finger on your lips. "Don't talk. You're pretty and sexy, especially when you cry. Let me do the thinking for you, stupid girl. Do one thing right and go to sleep, I'll take care of the rest."

#big brother tae strikes again #a Bully 😞#idea tae #he thought he wouldnt do it again but the opportunity arose and he took it and somnophilia was back in his life #taehyung imagines

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 3 years

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Sun and Fun (S2, E12)

I can’t believe FOX has cancelled this absolute masterpiece of a show. I’m devastated. I’d like to think we’ll get picked up by another network for season 3 but I’m a pessimist and I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ll be hanging around the fandom either way though.

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:20 - Malcolm losing it in Martin’s cell? *chef’s kiss*. 1) excellent performance by Tom. 2) This is the Malcolm mental health content I subscribed for. This is Malcolm feeling overwhelmed, helpless, worthless, and frustrated all at the same time. This. Is. Wonderful. And. Realistic. This is what overwhelming anxiety (especially if you have an anxiety disorder) can feel like. It builds and builds until all of a sudden you’re consumed with all this nervous energy and frustration and it all turns to rage in an instant. But you’re not angry at other people. You don’t want to hurt anyone. That rage is just self hatred because you hate that you feel this broken and your stupid brain won’t function normally.

0:33 - annnnd then when the excess nervous energy is spent but that feeling of self-hatred, despair, and fear still remains - you’re physically exhausted and 7/10. times you cry. Again, crying because of how stupid you feel for your little rage outburst, for how stupid you feel for feeling this terrible all the time. Malcolm is depicting a severe anxiety episode perfectly (in my experience) and THIS is why FOX is moronic for cancelling the show. The gorgeous and accurate depictions of mental health in Prodigal Son is unprecedented, truthful, and heartbreaking. It’s like nothing else on television.

0:50 - This kind of hurts. Look at how cautiously Dani enters the room. Almost as if Malcolm is a wild animal she doesn’t want to scare. It makes sense given the state of the room she just entered and how completely openly and uncharacteristically vulnerable Malcolm is. I will say this though, despite how cautious she is, it’s obvious that she cares about Malcolm more than whatever happened before she walked into the room.

1:03 - “So all eyes are on his head case son right?” This line is a direct quote from Malcolm’s anxiety disorder and depression. This is how you feel about yourself when in the middle of an anxiety episode when you’re also depressed. BUT OUR GIRL DANI!!! <3 This girl looks confused and concerned to hear Malcolm diss himself like that. The fact that she tries to comfort him when he’s in this state, makes her an absolutely A++ friend.

1:11 - “No one cares about that.” “I CARE. I can’t live like this.” This scene resonates with me so so so much. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been 100% aware of how irrational my anxieties are and simultaneously 100% unable to do a damn thing about it because I’m too scared of who I’d be without the fear. Because I’ve defined myself by my anxieties for so long that it’s become the only definable element of my personality visible to me. I’m getting that vibe from Malcolm. I’m sure that’s exactly how he’s feeling right now.

1:30 - “That’s not what scares you. What scares you is living the rest of your life without your father in it.” Dani knows and I felt personally called out. THIS EMOTIONAL WHUMP IS GIVING ME LIFE. <3

1:39 - Look at our floppy haired, devastated boy. :( <3 I’m genuinely shook that he didn’t have a full mental breakdown this episode (but it’s coming....it’s inevitable at this point :) ). ALSO the look of absolute love and concern Dani is shooting towards Malcolm? Absolutely perfect. <3

1:51 - I genuinely find it so interesting that Malcolm keeps referring to “The Surgeon” as “Martin”. If you read my thoughts on 2x11 you know I think it’s because Malcolm has separated ‘Martin Whitly’ into three separate people in his head. “The Surgeon” = the serial killer who traumatized him and ruined his childhood. “Dad/Father” = the man who loved and cared for baby!Malcolm. But “Martin” = unknown. Malcolm doesn’t know who Martin is yet and it scares him.

1:58 - “For once in your life slow down and acknowledge what this is doing to you.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this line. So. So. SO. MUCH. <3 <3 This is the kind of comfort Malcolm needs. SOMEONE needs to tell him that he’s breaking, it’s not his fault, and he doesn’t deserve to suffer for Martin.

2:07 - annnnnnd Malcolm has gone full crazy-person string murder board. He’s right but he’s still acting like a manic crazy person. Like, a real one. Not his usual manic behaviour. This is straight up - this boy needs medication, a nap, therapy, and a doctor. Now.

2:34 - Ugh. This whole cop/Vivian scene made my skin crawl. So gross. So creepy. I hate Capshaw. So much. This woman is manipulative, evil, and so so creepy. The cop was also gross. But I 100% thought she was going to kill the cop because this felt like an opening scene to Criminal Minds.

4:38 - “THEY WERE HAVING SEX.” hhahahahahahaha holy shit. This is both hilarious and really upsetting (not just because Martin/Capshaw is NASTY). Malcolm is manically, yelling about his theories in a room full of people who love him. He sounds crazy. He’s acting crazy and Dani, JT, and Gil are just staring at him with a mixture of disbelief, concern, and sympathy. <3 It’s heartbreaking. Malcolm is an inch away from a mental breakdown. I’m here for it.

4:49 - “TMI bro.” <3

5:05 - Ugh. This breaks my heart. The team doesn’t think Malcolm is crazy. They just know he’s at the end of his rope. The looks they’re exchanging aren’t based in anger, contempt, or a lack of trust. They’re based in concern and I LOVE IT.

5:21 - LOOK AT OUR BABY. He’s breaking. He’s so close. :( Look at how desperate he is to find Martin.

5:35 - “That’s exactly what it means.” “Gil, please. You know how much I need this.” THIS HURTS. Gil isn’t angry here - he’s frustrated and scared for Malcolm. And Malcolm? This boy is toeing the line of a full breakdown in front of 3 of his favourite people - that’s out of character for him. Despite the shaking hand and general mania - Malcolm usually refrains from raising his voice in front of Dani and JT. He tries to stay calm-ish so he doesn’t get labelled as ‘violent’ like his serial killer father.

5:39 - “StOp. I am scared.” Dani knew exactly how to diffuse the situation. Malcolm can be manipulative and dysfunctional but he never wants to scare people (at least, not unless they’re suspects or obstructing justice).

5:46 - “I’m not ordering you this time. I’m begging you.” Papa!Gil’s seen Malcolm like this before. SO WHY IS NO ONE HUGGING MALCOLM?!?! The boy is clearly coming apart at the seams.

5:48 - Malcolm’s reaction to Gil sending him home is gorgeous. He looks sad, betrayed, and resigned. It’s as though he’s convinced himself that the team doesn’t trust him or care about him anymore. He doesn’t walk out angry. He walks out sad and determined. Head held high but eyes full of grief.

5:54 - I’d give anything to have heard the conversation between Dani, JT, and Gil after Malcolm left the room. ANYTHING.

6:02 - “He thinks I’m a liability.” No. Not exactly. He thinks Malcolm is in the throws of a mental health crisis and that he shouldn’t be responsible for catching his serial killer father. Again.

6:15 - “I support Gil’s decision. That does not mean I want your father dead.” #coparenting but also, true. I honestly don’t think Jessica wants Martin dead. I think she wants Ainsley and Malcolm to be happy and free from Martin but not dead. She knows that Malcolm might never recover from Martin’s death with all of his unanswered questions and suppressed childhood trauma. She also knows that Ainsley would always resent being prevented from bonding with her father. I think Jessica still loves Martin - well, the man she thought she married. Jessica doesn’t care for Martin Whitly. But she loves the man he pretended to be and even though she knows he wasn’t real - she doesn’t want him to die. I think she wants him to disappear (maybe get transferred to a prison in a different state?) but she doesn’t want him dead. That would make her no better than the serial killer (in Jessica’s mind anyways).

6:25 - “You have become consumed by this Malcolm.” Check out the side eyed look Ainsley gives Malcolm. She’s jealous. Her brother is on the verge of a mental breakdown but she’s jealous of the attention he’s getting from Jessica. I get it - Jessica hasn’t been the best mom to Ainsley. BUT GIRL, gain some perspective. Don’t you care about your brother?!?! That should trump the jealousy for a few minutes at least.

6:35 - “I love you.” <3 <3 <3 I’m going to cry. This might be my favourite Jessica+Malcolm moment to date. So precious.

6:43 - THIS. “I love you. Both of you. More than I hate him.” This is why Jessica doesn’t want Martin dead.....but she also doesn’t care if he lives. I know that sounds like a contradiction but it’s a real thing and if you’ve never felt that way about someone - I pray you never have to.

7:06 - “Then she’s a victim.” .....I disagree. Capshaw had a (weird and manipulative) consensual relationship with Martin. She has as much of an agenda as Martin (although, Jessica didn’t know that here). Capshaw isn’t a victim. She’s not being compliant with Martin as a form of self-preservation or fear. She’s doing it because she’s a manipulative crazy person who is in love with a convicted serial killer.

7:45 - I’ve never felt this unsettled while watching Prodigal Son. Capshaw showing her true colours is so so so disturbing. This woman is insane (with all the stigma). The dress. The martini (Jessica’s favourite drink?). The fact that she dressed Martin up in a suit. The music. The weirdly elegant wheelchair. The lovey way she’s talking. It all makes my skin crawl.

8:33 - OMG. What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel bad for Martin Whitly?!?!?!

9:55 - JESSICA AND MALCOLM doing a rich person ambush tag-team IS AMAZING. <3

9:57- How sad is this? 23 years and Jessica still can’t walk into a room without people whispering and judging her behind her back. :( This woman keeps her head held high - despite the pain she must be in - she’s a superhero. Change my mind.

10:30 - "Malcolm Whitly? You're.." I have this headcanon that the general public assumes Malcolm is dead. He changed his last name and fell off the grid. People treat Jessica like a social pariah so she wouldn't be able to tell them otherwise. And sure, Ainsley referred to Malcolm in the present tense during her Surgeon interview but how many people actually watched it actually paid attention to that little tidbit after Martin went full blown psychopath on camera? Plus, no one really cares about the Surgeon's son enough to look him up 23 years later. At least, no one who matters.

11:25 - Like mother, like son. You can't change my mind. They have the same manipulation style. It's justice based and determined. Ainsley and Martin's style? Vindictive and self-serving.

11:30 - Oh look. ANOTHER CONTINUITY ERROR. WHO PROOFREADS THESE SCRIPTS?!? I CAN’T KEEP OVERLOOKING THESE. For God’s sake. Send copies of the script to fans who sign NDAs or something. At least we know what happened in previous episodes.

12:33 - "Gross." I'm with Ainsley on this one.

12:45 - "My assistant." "Long suffering". hahahha omg. I love this for two reasons: 1) it's hilarious 2) it's true. Malcolm literally disposed of a body for Ainsley. He's her assistant and he's suffered for it.

13:05 - Yo. This dude is whack. Like this is some serious Stockholm's syndrome going on here. Vivian is his hero?!? .........I can't.

13:55 - Why do the gifts Vivian sends Zeiger look like human bones? Damn this is twisted. This is like some sort of twisted serial killer pseudo-trophy situation?

14:52 - "I don't think Vivian is the victim here. I think our father is." Yikes. This is not going to help Malcolm's mental stability. At all. He's been trying to fully accept that his father is a serial killing monster who was literally never capable of loving him for the past 23 years. BUT NOW our boy has taken the role of 'good son' (prodigal son is you will) and has returned to his 10 year old mentality "I love dad. Dad loves me." and 'dad' is in trouble. Malcolm is trying to save his serial killer father and the emotional and mental hoops he's jumping through are terrifying, complex, and hauntingly realistic. <3 It's gorgeous.

15:04 - "I'm not used to this type of confinement." I love this line because of how deeply it rings true. Martin isn't used to confinement. Sure, he's been chained to a wall for 23 years but he's been relatively happy about it. He's been able to manipulate Malcolm and the other inmates. He's been given TV time, phone time, consultations, books, music, free food, and a massive private cell (seriously that cell is as big as the bachelor's suite I rent for $900 CAD a month). The man has been living a life of luxury (given his crimes). His only 'punishment'? He's stuck inside his cell and he's not allowed to kill anymore. THIS is Martin truly suffering. I kind of feel bad for him (which I never thought I'd say).

15:20 - Damn. Michael Sheen is incredible. He's genuinely making me feel concerned and scared for Martin.

15:32 - Something tells me a man hurt Capshaw in some way throughout her life. This has to be deeper than the whole "I didn't fit into the 'boys club' of surgery". Her issues with men are aggressive and alarming. This woman is nuts. This woman is why I hesitate to call myself a feminist (I generally think we should drop the titles of feminist/misogynist/racist/homophobe... and just treat people with respect. I think the titles and groups just further divide people.)

15:50 - "You're finally free." Yep. Capshaw is a nutcase. She actually believes that she's committed a perfect crime.

16:09 - This place has virtually no furniture but I’m expected to believe someone is paying the phone bill?!?! Nah.

17:08 - That. Smile. This woman is a devil. Like, I think I hate her as much as I hate Umbridge. But unlike Umbridge, Capshaw is downright terrifying.

17:12 - Was anyone else kind of surprised that Martin called Jessica? I mean, I guess she was a safer choice than the cops but still...

17:20 - As creepy and this whole ‘Martin is a victim’ thing is - it’s kind of nice? Like - I just keep thinking “How does it feel Martin?!?! This is how you made your victims feel. Do you like it?” and then I realize I’m a terrible person.

17:55 - Ainsley’s in on this. I swear, she’s somehow involved with either Capshaw or Martin.

18:18 - Oh look. Martin is shackled to the bed. Just like Malcolm shackles himself to bed so he can sleep every night. .....I keep oscillating between being vindictive toward Martin and feeling bad for him. That’s what makes this show incredible. The ‘villain’ is human and 3 dimensional.

18:44 - Oh God. The psychopath is jealous. This woman is UNSTABLE. How has no one locked her up yet?!?

19:43 - She’s crying. She’s actually crying. Even the rewatch of this scene is painful. I just feel so uncomfortable (which was probably the intent) and I hate both characters. They’re both actively trying to manipulate each other and it’s so creepy. Damn.

20:15 - Holy. Shit. This woman is by far the scariest villain Prodigal Son has given us.

21:17 - ..............I have nothing to say. My brain has short circuited. I can’t get past how horrifying this scene is. She’s a maniac.

21:57 - No one will make eye contact with Malcolm. :( They all think he’s losing it but they’re not scared of him. They’re scared for him.

22:10 - “A trusted member of my team has a theory I run it down.” THANK YOU GIL. SUBTLY TELL MALCOLM THAT YOU TRUST HIM. That’s what he needed to hear. He was doubting that anyone cared. :(

22:45 - “Do you HeAr yourself?!?” Ouch. Gil’s right - Malcolm sounds nuts. Unfortunately, Malcolm’s also right (more or less). Look at how sad Malcolm is - he honestly looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack. :( Malcolm thinks Gil doesn’t trust him anymore. Malcolm thinks Gil thinks he’s crazy. It’s heartbreaking. SOMEONE HUG THIS LITTLE CINNAMON ROLL.

22:54 - JT, buddy. Not the time. You’re making this worse. :( Malcolm is two breaths away from crying.

23:40 - “Dani, you up for this? Cause he sure isn’t.” Gil is losing it. Look at him. Gil is watching the boy he considers as his son unravel and Gil can’t do anything about it.

23:45 - “Either way, he’s going there. I’ll keep an eye on him.” I love Dani for this. Brightwell or not - the fact that she’s willing to chase smoke in an attempt to keep Malcolm from having a full mental breakdown makes her a hero.

23:48 - JT, hug Gil! He needs a hug!

24:16 - Martin is screaming while shackled to a bed.....where have I seen this before?

25:39 - “I did this for you because you needed it.”....”Dani, I respect you.” Excuse me while I go sob in the corner. Malcolm just uttered the words “I respect you.” and my heart exploded.

26:11 - “You don’t care. None of you care if my father lives or dies.” No, Malcolm, you’re wrong. They care. They all care so so much. Not about the life of the Martin Whitly though. They care about how Martin Whitly will continue to torment you if he’s caught alive. They care about how badly you’ll grieve if he ends up dying. They care about how this will affect YOU. because they love you.

26:22 - “You would be free.” SAY IT LOUDER DANI! He’d be in enormous pain for a while, but Malcolm would heal.

26:56 - “Let him go, Malcolm.” <3 <3 Malcolm is listening to Dani. He’s opening up about his fears. This is good (for Malcolm’s mental health). I am happy.

27:04 - WOW BABY! That kiss was......passionate? I mean, we all knew they were going to kiss (thanks previews) but I honestly didn’t expect a kiss this long or passionate? They’ve both been clearly denying their feelings for each other for a while though so I guess it makes sense?

27:20 - We all know Dani was going to talk about how they could make a relationship work for them and/or how she loves Malcolm but thinks he should focus on his mental health before they start dating. BUT MALCOLM? That boy thinks he just ruined his friendship with Dani and I’m heartbroken. Look at his sad little face. :(

28:31 - sooooo when exactly did Malcolm’s phone call drop? I feel like Ainsley had more access to the conversation that just what she shares with Dani in a couple of minutes.

29:08 - Look at this sad, scared little boy. He genuinely thinks that saving Martin will earn Martin’s love. I’m heartbroken.

29:22 - THIS. Malcolm is so desperate for Martin’s love that he essentially consented to being kidnapped, tortured, and potentially murdered. :( This is bad.

30:06 - Malcolm took unknown drugs from a crazy person. UGH. The stress of loving this unstable man-child is going to kill me. I’m so worried for him. ALSO WHO THE HELL CHEWS PILLS?!?! That’s disgusting.

30:24 - Dani thinks Malcolm is being a typical guy - terrified of relationships/talking about his feelings. She’s hurt. The Brightwell ship has encountered another storm.

30:35 - Anyone else get major flashbacks to 1x11 when Gil shows up to the townhouse to tell Jessica that Malcolm’s been kidnapped? You know, when he walks past all the reporters?!

30:50 - Ugh. :( Poor Jessica. That call from Capshaw gave her quite the emotional dilemma. As she said earlier, she loves her children more than she hates Martin. Soooo does she tell someone about the call, save Martin, and let Martin continue to torment her children? Or does she let Capshaw kill Martin, compromise her morals, let her children grieve for a while - but ultimately heal? It’s an impossible choice.

31:13 - “I know why you’re anxious Jess.” UGH. Get yourself a man you looks at you the way Gil look at Jessica. So much love. So much concern. If Gil wasn’t fictional and I wasn’t asexual (and 24) I would marry that man.

31:23 - “He has become convinced that his father is a victim in all of this.” Gil is so upset. He’s angry - at Martin for having this much power over Malcolm so many years later. He’s angry that Malcolm is still suffering so much because of his father. He’s upset because Martin is still hurting the people Gil loves 23 years after he was initially arrested.

31:33 - “There’s no good outcome here Jess.” Thank you. Gil is a man with awareness into Malcolm’s psyche. He knows this is going to hurt Malcolm no matter what happens. He’s scared and he’s bracing himself for impact. I love him. I want more people in the world who love people this deeply.

31:50 - “It’s okay to hope for that you know.” THANK YOU GIL. THANK YOU. Someone needed to tell Jessica that she’s not a monster for wanting the reason her children continue to suffer to disappear (even if tha means he dies). It’s not a malicious, evil thought toward Martin. It’s a hope for her children’s wellbeing.

32:04 - “And in my weaker moments, I want him dead too.” <3 I’m imagining Gil praying that Martin is killed by an inmate after he comforts a teenage Malcolm from a nightmare. I’m imagining Gil praying Riker’s finally kills Martin as he watched Malcolm spiral into Martin’s grasp again last year. I’m imagining Gil crying himself to sleep because he’s so damn tired of watching Jessica and Malcolm suffer because of Martin. I love him for it. <3

32:15 - “Maybe things could be different.” .....I’m sorry. Does this mean Gillica is off again?! The flirting and dancing from 2x9 meant nothing?!? It was a hoax?!? I’m furious.

32:35 - “It’s the actions that matter.” Damn. Gil is too good for the nonsense that is the Whitly family. Doesn’t he know that life isn’t always that simple?

32:46 - Annnnnd now Jessica will convince herself that she’s a bad person because she didn’t tell anyone about Capshaw’s call. She will also convince herself that she’s not good enought for Gil. AND I will cry myself to sleep.

32:55 - That hug <3 Sooooo Gillica is still on? I’m hella confused.

33:05 - There it is. Dani is still upset with Malcolm. The Brightwell ship is taking in water my dudes.

33:52 - Wow. He looks pretty in that makeshift hospital bed. Sleeves rolled up. Shirt half unbuttoned. Glazed, disoriented look about him as he wakes from a drugged sleep. <3 I’m in heaven.

34:30 - This is why Malcolm can never let Martin go. There are moments when Martin absolutely convinces Malcolm that he loves him.

34:50 - “Because he also happens to be my father.” THIS. IS. THE. MOST. REALISTIC. PORTRAYAL. OF. ABUSIVE. DADDY. ISSUES. Take from someone who lived through an abusive Dad. You hate him. You know he’s messed up. You don’t like or respect him. But a part of you will always love him. Even though you hate that part of yourself.

35:12 - “I want all of you.” .....I’m terrified. This woman is crazy. Crazier than the Surgeon. Is that possible?

36:05 - “You want him to love you. But he can’t.�� Have you said that to yourself Malcolm? You know that logically but you don’t feel that in your heart. ....and the writers don’t know that because we’ve seen that Martin loves Malcolm? Sort of? Unless the writers are playing some sort of weird long con on us.

36:50 - This is whump content I signed up for. This crazy bitch just killed Malcolm. We saw the terror in his eyes. BUT HE LIVES. So. I’m. Here. For. It.

36:58 - Martin’s devotion to Malcolm is so so interesting to me. Martin is a psychopath - he’s not supposed to be capable of love. But he clearly loves Malcolm. How? Why? It makes no sense but I love it?

37:47 - Malcolm’s little wheeze when Vivian starts mitigating the embolism. <3 So cute.

37:53 - “I can do without the mansplaining.” I’m getting PTSD. There are too many real women who are this crazy about feminism and mansplaining (this is coming from a woman). Martin isn’t trying to ‘mansplain’ he’s scared and he’s trying to save his son. That’s not mansplaining. He’s not explaining something because he thinks Vivian doesn’t know it. He’s explaining something in a desperate attempt to remind her of the severity of the situation.

38:16 - HOW THE HELL did Ainsley and Dani know where Martin, Capshaw, and Malcolm were? Either 1) Ainsley is somehow working with Capshaw, or 2) they were able to trace Malcolm’s cell (assuming Capshaw didn’t trash it), or 3) Ainsley knew her mom was lying about that phone call and they had it traced?, or 4) this is a convenient plot thing.

38:34 - This bitch is devious and I hate her.

39:30 - Martin Whitly is the hero of the episode. What alternate reality are we living in?

41:15 - Malcolm struggling for breath. <3 The whumpers are being FED.

41:17 - “Run.” This is 23 years of guilt for turning his own father into the police surfacing.

41:31 - “Where’s my family?” I honestly don’t know how I feel about this line. It bothers me but I can’t figure out why.

41:43 - This ending sequence is a work of ART. Malcolm is in physical and emotional pain. Dani (without backup) trying to save Malcolm from Martin. The epic music. The shot of Dani seeing the blood-filled syringe next to the makeshift hospital bed+restraints. Martin Whitly. Driving. A. Boat. And. Laughing - completely elated - with Malcolm passed out (and looking adorable) in the aft seating. The fact that the ONLY house you can see on the shoreline is the house the just escaped from.

THIS EPISODE WAS EXCITING, STRESSFUL, AND WONDERFUL. I’m excited for the SEASON finale and I pray we get a season 3 from a network other than FOX.

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 6*

Okay this may be my favorite chapter so far. Actually screw it, it most DEFINITELY IS.

NOTE: If you have never heard the song “Sparks Fly” by Taylor Swift, go listen to it NOW. Before you read this. And actually, you know what just listen to it while reading it, trust me.

If you need to catch up:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 7

Tag List: @wanniiieeee

“Uh, watcha doin’ there, detective?”

Sonny’s voice immediately brought you back down to earth. Your head bolted upright and you sprang away from Barba like he was suddenly on fire.

“What? Oh, nothing. What? You know I’m just, tired, you know-- long day,”

Words spilled out of your mouth quicker than you could think of them. God how embarrassing! Why would you even think of making a move on your ADA? In front of everyone?!

Was it a move though? I mean really. Did he have to just call it out like that? You had to get out of that booth.

“Y’know what actually I am going to run to the ladies room, that Hurricane really went right through me! Like a hurricane!” Again, the word vomit would not stop. You let out a pained awkward laugh and bolted from the table.

“REALLY, Caris?” Rafael gave Carisi a look that could kill him right there in the booth.

“What? I just---OW! Amanda, that hurt!” Sonny rubbed his thigh and looked at Amanda who was shaking her head.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, you were beating yourself up in the mirror.

“What is WRONG with you?!”

You were yelling at your reflection, totally normal.

“Ugh…” you sighed, splashing water on your face and cupping your hands around your neck. You needed to wash this day OFF already.

Wait...that gave you an idea.

You peeked out of the bathroom to see everyone still at your table, so while they weren’t paying attention you made a mad dash out of the bar and to your car in the parking lot. You popped your trunk and began throwing things around.

“Please please please please…” You begged no one in particular, shoving empty water bottles and coupons onto the pavement.

“A ha! Yes!” you exclaimed in triumph.

You would never admit it, but you basically lived in your car sometimes. You probably had half your closet in here.

You pulled out a pair of hip hugger jeans and a t-shirt; your lucky t-shirt, to be precise.

Yes maybe it was stupid to have “lucky” items at your age, but you didn’t care. You and this t-shirt had been through some STUFF, and came out the other side together. If anything could turn this night around, it could. Sure it was a TAD too tight from so many washes, the writing on it was barely visible, and it may have had a tear or two, but you had altered it to make the damage look fashionable. At least, you thought so.

You knelt behind your car, trying to change discreetly. You kept a careful watch out, God knows the squad did NOT need another case right now. You tossed your blazer and dress shirt back into the trunk, slipped off your skirt and pulled on the jeans and t-shirt as quickly as you could, then you slammed the trunk shut and walked over to the driver’s side view mirror.

“Not bad; not bad at all detective,” you smirked at your reflection before locking your car and running back inside.

As you approached your table, you saw Barba notice you, and then NOTICE, you. His eyes grew and his mouth slightly opened. Okay so maybe sometimes you went a little overboard on trying to look “professional” around your squad-- this was probably the first time you even alluded to having chesticles.

“I’m sorry sweetie have you seen our co-worker?” Amanda asked jokingly.

“What? I needed to get this day off of me, you know?”

“Yes, off indeed,” Oliva raised her eyebrows.

“What is it too much? Should I change back?”

“NO” All three men responded in unison, then quickly looked around elsewhere like nothing happened.

“You’re fine,” Fin assured you.

“Yes you are,” Carisi blurted.

“REALLY Carisi?!” Barba almost slapped him across the table.

“What? I didn’t mean it like--” Sonny protested while pleading with a very offended Amanda. They started having their own little squabble as Barba scooted closer to you.

“You really do look nice,” He smiled.

“...In jeans and a t-shirt? Thanks,” You gave a smile back while you felt your face blushing.

“No, I mean, happier. I like seeing happy on you,” He smiled even more, fidgeting like he wanted to touch you but didn’t want foghorn Sonny going off again.

“OH. Um, yeah thanks. I like seeing you happy too, counselor,” Your face was a full on skillet, you could fry an egg on them from the heat they radiated. You had to look anywhere else but his eyes or you might do something Carisi would DEFINITELY have something to say about.

“Ooooh! You know what else I do when I wanna get the taste of a bad day out of my mouth?” You changed the subject lightening quick as soon as you saw the stage across the room.

“Shots?” Amanda asked.

“Well, yeah obviously but--”

“AMBER did you hear that? Another round of shots!”

“DANCE,” you completely ignored Amanda’s antics. “I dance it out!” You pointed over to a small band who was testing sound equipment, obviously about to start a show.

“...Is she serious?” Fin muttered to Olivia.

“Is she drunk off ONE Hurricane?” Carisi raised his eyebrow.

“No come on-- Ugh! You guys cannot be that old.” you groaned.

“We might be,” Olivia half laughed.

“Too old to dance?!” You scoffed.

“In a room full of people, to country music? I don’t even have to be old to not wanna do that honey,” Fin put his hands up.

As they were all expressing their objections and insults, a scheme began running through your brain. Your eyes went from the band--- 2 guitarists, a drummer and a girl lead singer-- perfect. Your eyes then turned back towards Barba, who actually hadn’t protested your dance it out idea. PERFECT.

“Well I’m not old yet, I’m gonna dance it out to Tay Tay Swift!” You stuck your tongue out at the group and ran over to the band. The squad exchanged looks of disbelief while they watched you have a conversation with the band, and soon came running back over.

“Alright hey ya’ll we are Cactus Flower, how we feelin tonight?”

Scattered applause and drunken cheers answered her.

“Great...well, for our first song we’ve actually got a request, so this one is for you detective,” she smiled as the music started

It was relatively slow, so a few couples slowly began congregating on the dance floor. Other young girls squealed and formed a dance circle in a corner. Alright, it’s now or never, detective.

You started off dancing by yourself, just vibing to the song. You eyed everyone in your party, daring them to join you.

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm

And I'm a house of cards

You're the kind of reckless

That should send me running

But I kinda know that I won't get far

“Oh come on guys, you’re really gonna make me stand here looking like a moron?”

And you stood there in front of me

Just close enough to touch

Close enough to hope you couldn't see

What I was thinking of

“Baby girl, you're doin that all on your own!” Finn laughed.

You saw the thoughts mulling in Barba’s mind, glancing from you to the group and back to you again. Finally, to your delight, he shook his head and stood up.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“You guys are cruel,” He remarked, walking right up to you.

“Can I have this dance?”

PERFECT.

He took your hand and spun you, you clumsily fell into his chest and looked into his eyes with a smile JUST as the song hit your target.

You glanced over to see the squad’s collective jaws on the floor.

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“....You know, my eyes are green.” he raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Huh. Go figure,” you batted your eyes innocently.

You were downright shocked that Rafael had not run screaming from the very obvious message of the song, and even more shocked the squad was allowing it. But you were not tempting anybody or anything by questioning it; you were just going to enjoy this dance, this moment.

My mind forgets to remind me

You're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world

But with you I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently but

I really wish you would

You both continued to dance in silence, Rafael now listening very intently to every word of the song, and grinning more and more as it went on.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

Rafael spun you around in a big dramatic flourish, as he commented “I do have a gorgeous smile, don’t I?”

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“What? Hm? Can’t hear you,” You pretended you were too far away, then smirked when you twirled back into his torso.

“Mmmhmm,”

The song reached it’s interlude, the beat banging every word emphatically. Rafael pulled your arms up around his neck, just as the last chorus went into the soft breakdown.

I run my fingers through your hair

And watch the lights go wild

Just keep on keeping your eyes on me

It's just wrong enough to make it feel right

And lead me up the staircase

Won't you whisper soft and slow?

I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show

You looked into those green eyes, your head swimming. 24 hours ago this man was just your co-worker, a coffee snob ADA. And now, you were both in each other’s arms and staring at each other’s lips-- you closed your eyes as the song played.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

“I um, I’m really sorry Y/N. I um...I need to go. To the...bathroom. I’m sorry just...I’m sorry,”

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile….

You watch Rafael practically bolt off the dance floor and into the men’s room as you stood there alone while the song finished.

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

What had just happened?

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #build me up buttercup #raul esparza

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sepublic · 3 years

Text

After the Rain!

Finally, after all this time…

After the Rain!

GOD what a good episode! That ending, the voice break from Hop Pop and his brief despair, his breakdown… It was so authentic and it caught me off-guard, I love this old frog SO much, he deserves way more love in this fandom and just in general! Oh god, what if those two herons that ate Sprig and Polly’s parents were like… The same ones that Sasha and Grime fought? THAT would be interesting… Also becomes more morbid when you remember how we saw Toads get eaten alive on-screen by those herons, too; They’re not coming back.

I was expecting there to be more info on the Calamity Box, but that seems to be about it- Just a cryptic warning! Can’t give away anything, and it makes sense; If Hop Pop knew more, his reaction to Andrias’ explanation on the music box as ‘just’ an interdimensional travel device would’ve been different. Likewise, Sprig and Polly’s parents and their deaths seemed to be unrelated to Calamity Box shenanigans, but who knows? It’s hard to see Hop Pop lying AGAIN, but I do wonder where he was when it all happened.

This sad frog… He has his child die, and he’s trying to cope; And we finally get closure, and UGH, Sprig and Polly knowing exactly what happened and trying to comfort their old man about it… It shows just how broken this has made them and makes the ending of Hopping Mall all the more painful! Nobody in that family had anyone they were sure they could be open to and trust about it because they all felt horrible, and then this gangly human comes and brings them all together!

Anne’s disappointment, it was just… She was just TIRED. And god, this poor girl’s going to have major trust issues, she DOES have major trust issues- And she’s probably going to have problems with taking people and things at face-value now… Even someone who loves her, who is acting out of love and protection, will lie to Anne- And then you have Sasha, possibly Marcy, probably Andrias… And she probably wants to be more mad, but it feels like she’s just too tired to be by this point; She doesn’t want to handle it right now, so she just goes off for some space. Anne just needs distance, in a show all about friends becoming more distant, becoming distant from home and family literally, travelling great distances in journeys, etc. I’m lowkey getting The Hobbit vibes now actually, Wartwood is like the Shire in a sense…

On another note; I LOVE the callbacks to the first episode, seeing that sign with its motto, Slow to Accept, Slower to Respect, as well as the cave! Anne’s cave she slept in that we barely glimpsed in that joke flashback, we finally got to see it! God it feels so weird finally going back… Thinking on how far we’ve gone, and then expanding on that by seeing just how much more happened beforehand! I wonder if we’ll ever see more of Anne arriving in Amphibia and first adapting… And that CALLBACK to Anne being a creepy monster, with Hop Pop’s silhouette! They’re alien monsters to each other that they didn’t know what to do with, until they became family!

Also, glad to see Soggy/Speedy Joe back! The whole part with the rain and Sprig and Polly going through the burrow was just very gorgeous and aesthetical to me, and I like how the show managed to handle the emotional consequence, yet surprisingly fluidly incorporate humor; The gag with Hop Pop trying to follow and being told not to was great, and I love the peek at his depressed face in the morning before we REALLY see it! Good on Sprig and Polly for actually getting the box back- But can you imagine, if we’d never gotten the story because of that interruption! Lo and behold, the PLOT of all things ends up interrupting the lore… Oh the hilarity. But yeah, Amphibia is a very brutal, frog-eat-frog world (sometimes literally) and Hop Pop losing his child to the local fauna… Jeez, no wonder he’s on such high alert, especially what with the number of times his kids HAVE gotten into danger!

And I love Anne’s reaction, her betrayal, asking if Hop Pop wanted to keep her; But he just wanted HER and his family safe… And when she hears of Sprig and Polly’s parents, she HAS to listen because of Hopping Mall, because of what Sprig confided, and because she has her own desire to see her parents again! Not that they were his parents to Hop Pop, but she can get the mourning and desire to protect what family she has left, especially when losing someone; Albeit through betrayal…

UGH it’s so cathartic finally seeing the resolution, and the wrapping-up of this emotional thread! The way it culminates with that lore and breakdown, the hesitation and betrayal, Anne briefly considering leaving the Plantars and hanging out with Marcy because of trust issues, and how THAT could’ve worsened things if Marcy betrays her too… Oof. I like that she still put it aside to save Sprig and Polly, and it seems those kids indirectly helped Anne and Hop Pop reconcile; Which reminds me of this meta a while back of Anne and Hop Pop finding more solidarity as the older members of the family… Anne really does effortlessly feel like a part of it, doesn’t she! She’s Anne Plantar Boonchuy! And the way she just hugs that old frog…

This episode was a DELIGHT and a pay-off, and I can’t wait to meet up with Marcy soon! But we’ve also got some other threads to pick up on as well, and I wonder if we’ll ever see Apothecary Gary again; Legit I thought I spotted one of his mushrooms on those magpie beetles before I realized it was just a lamp-shroom, lol, and I liked the joke of Hop Pop not being his real name, but Anne remembers that she already knows this. All in all a wonderful batch of episodes, and here’s hoping to the next one, F-Annes!

#amphibia #amphibia anne #anne boonchuy #amphibia hop pop #hopediah plantar #amphibia sprig #sprig plantar #amphibia polly #polly plantar #angst

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lovingleehaechan · 4 years

Text

I adore you. - Jung Jaehyun (Part II)

genre: fluff, angst(?)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: curse words

a/n: why hello there... long time no post T-T i know, it’s been too long since this awaited update but i’m back to writing now! it’s been a busy couple of months and i haven’t had time to sit back and actually enjoy writing without getting so stressed :( i hope this update is enough to fill the void for now. but for sure after this one, it’ll pick up. do you think y/n and jaehyun will have a happy ending? or will it end in an oof situation? stay tuned my loves!

with all my love, summer x

It’s December, everyone knows what that means, exam season. Though it’s the end of semester, Jaehyun’s stress levels were through the roof. He hasn’t felt like this in a long while, unprepared and panicked over the little exams he has. In order to ease his worries, he motivates himself to go to the library and make an attempt to get something done. He can’t stand sitting on his living room couch, aimlessly scrolling through his phone while simultaneously searching for a movie to watch.

Procrastination is and always will be a bitch but hey, at least he got himself out of the house. Even if it was just for a cup of coffee and a couple of minutes of looking at his notes. He sighs as he catches sight of the grey and miserable building in his campus. How he dreads staring at the old and ancient site. Jaehyun exhales another breath and gets himself mentally prepared for what is about to come.

“Death and a breakdown,” his mind answers.

As expected, the library was full of students also trying to study for their exams. Some caught with panic in their eyes while they read through their notes quickly and a few with their hands on their heads, seeking comfort from what was an oncoming breakdown. Though it was a huge building with many spots to sit and settle down with books, laptops and notes, Jaehyun always preferred the third floor, where there was a hidden bunch of tables caught in the middle of a forest of books. Not a lot of people knew of this particular spot, the only ones who knew about it were you and a couple of other friends.

What he didn’t expect is to see you there with your earphones on, highlighter in hand, studying. He’s momentarily distracted by your calm appearance. Jaehyun never thought that someone could look so gorgeous just by being focused. Your eyebrows are furrowed and your head slowly moves in time with the music you’re listening to.

His heart sighs again.

His breath caught.

And his long legs lead him to where you are.

Without realising, he taps your shoulder.

You turn your head slowly, reluctant to look up from the notes you just wrote. Catching sight of Jaehyun you smile with your eyes.

“Oh hey,” you say as you take one earphone out.

“You didn’t tell me you were in the library today.” he blurts.

“Yeah, I legged it out this morning and forgot to ask if you wanted to come. You know how it is during exam season.” you explain to him in a hushed voice.

Jaehyun nods, and sets himself down at the empty seat next to you. He takes out his notes, laptop and pencil case. All ready to get himself stuck at all the information he needs to learn for the coming week.

As he gets himself setted, it only causes you to watch him as he goes about his unknowing routine whenever he’s in the library. You smile slightly, and a light chuckle comes out of your mouth. Jaehyun, busy getting himself together, didn't notice.

He sits himself down on the chair next to you with a highlighter in his mouth and a furrowed eyebrow looking at his books. He had no idea how the fuck he was going to get all this information in his head for his exam that was two days from now. You on the other hand, went back to studying soon after you saw Jaehyun settle down. It only took a couple of minutes to get your head back into focus and immediately forgetting that your friend was there in the first place.

A couple of hours, maybe three or two, you sigh deeply. Jaehyun had heard it over the music he was listening to. He looks over to you with a questioning look.

You mouth, “I need a break.” and a smile breaks out from your face.

He smiles with you, “me too,” he gestures with his fingers.

Using your hands, you point out towards the exit, quickly followed by a gesture that indicated you wanted to eat too.

Jaehyun nods in agreement but you decide to leave your things there as the both of you would only be gone for an hour.

Or so you thought.

Jaehyun didn’t realise how much he loved to spend time with you. Having a simple meal with you at the nearest convenience store is enough to have him smiling for the rest of the night.

Your plan only consisted of having a quick meal and a brief walk around the library. But no, here you were, lying down on the couches situated in the lobby of some random building in the campus.

“Hmm… law building.” Jaehyun voices.

“What?” you say, as you give your best attempt to look at him, too comfortable to get up properly.

“I think we’re in the law building-”

“I honestly can’t give two shits right now. I’m in procrastination mode. Let’s not disturb my unsettled peace.” you interrupt, rolling your eyes.

Jaehyun chuckles once more for the nth time that day.

“Why is it that when exam season rolls around, I’m just so stressed to the point where nothing can ease my worries and anxiety.” you suddenly voice your thoughts out loud.

“Maybe it’s because you’re scared of failing. I know how high your standards are of yourself. Sometimes they’re unrealistic but they kinda make sense. I mean, I’m the same too.” Jaehyun sighs, exhaustion finally catching up to him.

You stay silent for a minute, or five.

“I can’t help it. That’s just me.” you start slowly.

He says nothing, only nodding to encourage you to keep going.

“I mean okay, a lot of it mostly has to do with how I see myself. I want to do well but I can never reach that place where I want to be… Yes it’s just exams but I like feeling proud of myself. I like seeing those grades that I worked hard for. But the thing is, I’m also… how do I say it. I’m only motivated when someone is there with me. Company, that’s all I need to keep myself going.”

He stares at you. Nothing again.

“But not everyone can give you that company,” Jaehyun states. “Not everyone understands.”

Just like that he knew. He knew exactly what you were saying and that was all you needed. That was what both of you needed. Though there was clearly a deeper meaning to the reason, Jaehyun didn’t pry.

He’s patient like that, he waits for you to come to him. Just like everything else in your friendship.

It's your turn to sigh, closing your eyes.

“Exactly,”

He gives you a small smile.

“Not even my own boyfriend can give me that anymore…” you finish.

Jaehyun’s voice is caught in his throat.

Did you really just say that out loud? After all this time, all those moments you shared with your boyfriend, Jaehyun was the first person you told. He saw how you were like in the beginning of your relationship.

Happy, wrapped around each other's fingers, and not to mention you spent every waking moment with him whenever you got the chance. What changed he wondered.

He didn’t know, but you were also asking yourself the same question. “Where did it all change? When did it change?”

Taking note of your furrowed eyebrows, he made the decision to change the topic.

“So, any plans after the exams?” keeping the topic light, despite the heavy feeling you both felt.

“I’m not sure yet. I wanted to check out some of the Christmas markets around the city. I still need to get a few presents for my family and Doyoung and his family too.”

“Isn’t that your entire family then?” he chuckles.

Your eyes widen in shock which makes you sit up from your earlier position. “Fuck. You’re right.” You palm your face in distress, “ugh no.”

He laughs a little louder, patting your head to comfort you.

“Stop it you’re not making this any better.” panic starting to rise on your face.

“Don’t forget mine too.” he teases, grinning at you widely.

“Shut up idiot, I already got yours.” you say, getting back to your mental list quickly after replying.

This caught Jaehyun off guard once more. His heart did a little jump again. Dammit, how can a simple sentence from you have that kind of effect on him.

“Now I’m stressed. Fuck you bro.” you tell him after finishing your mental list.

“I can always help you shop, you know. I’m quite good with buying presents.” he suggests.

“Maybe that can work. It’ll lessen my stress levels. Well either lessen them or add to them, really depending on what you’re like on the day.” you chuckle.

He opens his mouth to say something, takes a deep breath to reply something smart but he stops and nods as he says, “yeah you’re right.”

You both laugh out loud, relieving some sort of stress from studying all morning.

“Should we head back?” you ask, looking to your side.

“We haven’t gotten anything to eat yet.” he points out the obvious with a look.

“Stop it, don’t look at me like I’m dumb.”

He rolls his eyes.

“You of all people know that Jae. Don’t start.”

Jaehyun smiles widely.

“Oh no here it comes.”

You put your head in your hands.

“I- of all people know just how dumb you really are y/n.” he starts laughing louder, making the people passing by stare at him weirdly.

You sigh, “I just knew you were going to say that.” smiling unknowingly.

“Dude stop.”

But he couldn’t, he loved to tease you like that.

He loved doing everything with you.

Oh what life would be like if he was able to kiss the living daylights out of you.

He’d be complete.

He wouldn’t need anything else.

Just you.

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deniigi · 4 years

Text

MORE POLYCULE SHIT

here this is mostly Sam/Ned from Matt’s POV. (this piece assumes Matt didn’t know about the negotiations until later)

Title: soda bottles

Summary: Matt finds out about Sam’s involvement with Ned and then with Peter’s polycule. He tries to talk to Sam about it, but fails. On like, every front.

---------------

The apprentice told him to stay out of his room and his life and his business and he should have known better by now, truly.

Matt knew that voice. And he also knew that what Sam, Samuel, Sammy-my-darling was doing right now at this present moment was giggling.

Unacceptable. There would be no joy in this house.

Matt removed himself from the door and declared war in silence.

---

The dogs were instrumental in luring Samuel out to open space. And by luring, Matt meant knocking on his bedroom door with leashes in hand and asking Sam if he wanted a walk.

In no time Matt had zero leashes and zero dogs and, while he was at it, zero apprentices.

In fact, he had been abandoned.

In his own house.

Again.

How did this keep happening?

---

Foggy told Matt to let Sam have his little crush on Ned. Ned was a good boy. Foggy had maintained this for years. He skirted around the fact that he’d grabbed Ned’s shoulders when he was 17 and had told him to stare him in the eyes and to never fall in love with his best friend.

Matt pointed this out to him and got a pillow to the face, then a huff and an uncalled-for reminder that he was a fucking idiot and no one loved him.

This was Foggy’s love language though, so Matt didn’t take it to heart. Instead, he abandoned him for the only person in the world who truly understood him.

Jenn.

---

Jenn had to spend fifteen minutes cooing over the fact that Matt had acquired an apprentice and then she had to spend another ten being an asshole about it and then she spent a solid 5 making dad jokes at him when he tried to talk and so he waited until she was done with her cackling and personal jabs.

She told him that it was cute that Peter’s bestie was gushing over Matt’s apprentice.

She told him that he should be happy for them.

And Matt was. Happy for them, that is.

He was thrilled.

Sam’s track record with long-term partners, as far as Matt could tell, was a solid nil for nil. The boy refused to be attached to anyone, which Matt totally got.

But it was like standing by, watching your own young moronic self making a series of unfortunate decisions that were not only whole unnecessary, but also had solutions within easy reach, like headstones in a damn cemetery.

Sam had a string of guys and girls that he’d picked up at clubs and bars and fuckin’ hipster literature readings downtown who were literally, actually falling over themselves to be with him. And he texted them and laughed about them and joked with Leilani and Achara about them, and then never spoke of them ever again.

Matt got it, okay?

He’d been that guy.

Maybe a little more on the jock side of things and maybe a little less, say, refined than Sammy—but he still got it. A slightly longer relationship was good for Sam. And Ned was a good egg—no, a great egg.

But he just couldn’t shake this feeling, Jenn.

He didn’t even know what it was, but it made him paranoid and want Sam to go back to the self-destructive nonsense, because at least Matt knew what that felt like. He could push back against that after dumping the kid out of the ring in training.

“Matty,” Jenn said affectionately, “You’re trying to protect Sam, Ned, and Peter. But you don’t have to do that. They’re all grown. Let them make their decisions.”

Ooooohohoho

How dare she.

Matt knew they were grown. Sam was nearly 25. Peter was almost 27—oh god, Peter was almost 27. FUCK. Jesus. Lord. Someone—Christ.

Sammy was a baby.

He couldn’t be playing with these big kids, he’d have his heart broken.

What if Ned got bored of him, Jenn??

Matt couldn’t beat the shit out of Ned. Ned was a good boy. And Peter would lose his damn gourd and that was how Matt would end up under two tons of concrete and rebar with an angry spider perched on top, stomping and spitting.

“Matt,” Jenn said soothingly. “Peter learned how to be polyamorous from you, dear heart.”

Oh shit.

Oh right.

Oh no.

“I’ve gotta go,” Matt said. “Lovely talking to you, next time you’re in town, come around for a foursome or a twosome or a three if Kirsten’s down—okay BYE.”

Jenn laughed at him when he hung up.

Matt clutched at his chest.

---

He’d inadvertently taught Peter what polyamory looked like by flinging himself down on many disgusting surfaces and moaning and writhing in agony and despair about Foggy being monogamous and everyone in the world being unspeakably brilliant and strong and no-doubt gorgeous.

Fuckin’ Kirsten.

Fuckin’ Wade.

Fuckin’ Karen.

And Heather and Marci and ONE TIME ONLY Frank.

UGH.

Disgusting. Matt needed Lysol to scrub that moment of weakness from his brain.

The point was that he’d been a chump, and baby Peter had observed these various moaning sessions and had apparently, at some point, started taking notes.

Gah.

Peter. Why?

Stop loving your friends. Stop copying me. Get your own breakdown material.

Uuuuuuugh.

Okay, okay. Rally, Murdock. It’s fine.

This is simply a conversation to have with Sammy about how to negotiate such--hng. Actually maybe this was a Kirsten conversation.

---

He went to visit Kirsten.

He got a little distracted because Kirsten was Kirsten and she required thorough smelling and like, minimum two kisses and she deserved to have at his bare chest if she wanted it—who was he to deny her—THE POINT.

The point. Was.

That he told Kirsten about things and she told him not to talk about work when she was taking her shirt off, and he told her to leave it on for just like, five minutes longer and that came out wrong and she was insulted and Matt had to backtrack for half an hour.

But he got there in the end, alright?

Kirsten said she didn’t know that Sam was polyamorous.

Matt said that he didn’t know if he was, but he sure as shit was flirting with Ned like, constantly.

Kirsten said that that explained why Sam kept telling her that he couldn’t come to dinner with them because he already had a date. Kirsten then went rigid and said, “Wait, you mean Ned-Ned?”

Yes.

Yes, Matt did.

“Oh.”

Correct reaction.

“Is that—do you think that’s –hm.”

Correct reaction maintained and appreciated. Matt no longer felt like a monumental ass.

“That might be a little, uh, cuttin’ it close there,” Kirsten said. “Does Peter know?”

Presumably. Ned couldn’t lie for shit.

“Maybe we should ask Peter what the negotiations there are. He’s pretty on top of that stuff.”

Shockingly, that was true.

Good plan.

“If Sammy’s gonna get involved with them, then he should at least know what he’s getting into,” Kirsten said.

Yes, but also—why is this feeling happening, Kirsten, beloved life partner number 2?

“Oh, that? That’s called ‘you’re a territorial dick,’” Kirsten said. “Get over yourself.”

“But he’s 24,” Matt said. “A child.”

“He’ll be twenty-five in a few months, Matthew,” Kirsten said. “That’s bad-decision-making prime-time. This is inevitable. My concern is that he’s not going into a relationship with Ned, thinking that he’s the primary partner there.”

Okay, fair.

“Are we done with this conversation now?”

Yes.

“Thank god. I hate your dad impulses. Cleanse yourself of them and get on the bed.”

Would do.

---

Kirsten made Matt call Peter and be awkward for the both of them which, Matt would like it stated for the record, was extremely unfair and manipulative of her.

Peter told him that Sam was fine.

Peter told him that he and Sam had maybe fooled around a little bit without Matt and Foggy and Kirsten’s knowledge which was. Hm.

Troublemakers. Stop laughing, Franklin. This is nothing like the time we inducted Kirsten into our life and lied about it to everyone we knew for 3 years.

Nothing.

Peter thought not. Peter thought that Sam had told Matt about this whole thing. He then got a little huffy and said that Ned was the one who had swept Sam off his feet while Peter had been standing right there, man. As Spiderman. Primed for feet-sweeping.

That was satisfying.

Peter took the next ten minutes to complain about how Sam didn’t want to talk to him as much as he wanted to talk to Ned and how Ned was always begging off dinners with Peter and MJ to go have dinner with Sam and how Peter and MJ had to make do with Johnny in his absence.

Matt would never understand why Peter pretended that he and Johnny Storm were nothing more than fuck buddies, but okay, sure. If that’s what helps you sleep at night, little lion man.

Peter went on to say that the worst part of Sam and Ned’s mutual obsession was how fucking cute it was.

Disgusting, Peter maintained.

There were matching bracelets and drawn out decisions about matching sneakers. And there was nattering on until past midnight about Transformers lore and there was non-stop texting and complaints about various tools and coding languages and all this shit that Peter’s own flavor of nerd had diverged from about six years ago.

Kirsten made a little squeak that told Matt that she was highly entertained by Peter’s ‘complaints.’

It sounded more to Matt like Peter and MJ were hunkered down behind the couch, narrating all Ned’s behavior to Johnny (the totally uninvolved fuckbuddy) in whispers.

Foggy curled up on the edge of their own couch to muffle his wheezy giggles.

Exhausting.

The youth were exhausting. How had no one just shot Matt straight through the heart at 27?

“I will speak to Sam about emotional repression,” he promised Peter only to receive a “NO WAIT” from both him and, from the sound of it, MJ and (only fuckbuddy) Johnny a little ways away.

Peter hurriedly explained that Sammy was really shy and skittish about being around their polycule and had just connected with Ned as the least threatening member and it had taken ages, so please don’t say anything and destroy all of the rest of their hard work.

This hit a strange note.

Foggy and Kirsten weren’t snickering anymore either.

Sam?

Wasn’t?

Shy?

Like, if anything, Sammy was shameless. Always lying in people’s laps and snatching their open hands to swing back and forth.

Sure, he was teasing. But shy? Shy?

Sam was sick.

“No,” Peter said. “Double D, he’s not sick.”

Very sick. Terminally ill.

“DD. He’s not sick.”

Bullshit. Matt was taking him to the doctor. Too bad, Sam. You couldn’t avoid it forever.

“Matt. He’s just. Emotionally. Repressed. You should recognize it because its your whole way of being.”

Wow, hadn’t this conversation been going on for a while now? Time to go.

“MATT. Leave him alone,” Peter said. “I’m looking after him, okay? Chill.”

Chill. Yes. Okay, fine. Matt would chill.

For now. Goodbye, Peter.

---

Matt hadn’t chilled about anything in his life and he didn’t intend to start now. So instead he confronted the apprentice.

The apprentice leaned very hard against his door and told Matt that he would rather die than speak of such things, so Matt told him to bare his neck.

Sammy was convinced. But only just.

He made himself frighteningly small and grumpy on his bed and allowed Matt to sit only on the last four inches of it. Matt kind of wanted to take the opportunity to teach him how to hiss.

But alas. That was a skill for another time.

“I talked to Peter,” he said.

Sam mumbled.

“He says you’re shy. Are you feeling okay?”

Sam mumbled in a more prolonged, growly kind of way. He was muffled by something. Probably jeans. Or sweats. Hard to tell.

“Why are you being shy? We both know you’re not shy. Ned’s a nice boy,” Matt told him. “You can trust him.”

Sam jerked his body in some way strongly enough to make the bed shake.

Matt sighed.

“Sam,” he said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Sam said.

“Listen, kid,” Matt said. “You’re gonna do what you want. You’re grown, those are your decisions to make. But if you’re ever uncomfortable or you want to spend time with one person in particular, you’ve gotta communicate that to the others. I know that’s not like, smoothly done or whatever. But it’s what you’ve gotta do in these kinds of relationships.”

Sam made an unhappy sound.

“I don’t want a relationship,” he said quietly.

Ehn.

Same, pal.

They’re a lot of work.

“They’re worth it,” Matt promised him. “And it’s okay to be a little in love, you know. I’m in love every day. It’s not shameful. You don’t have to hide it.”

Sam huffed.

“People’ll stare,” he finally said. “If we ever went out. People would stare.”

Ahhh.

“That’s what you think,” Matt said. “But then you go and do it and it turns out that no one actually cares. People are very self-centered, Sam. You spend all this time worrying about how others perceive you and, at the end of the day, 90% of people literally don’t care. You don’t have to talk to Ned in your room all the time.”

Sam did something with his body that concentrated it even further into a dense mass.

“I like him,” he admitted. “He’s nice.”

Matt hummed.

“He’s a peaceful person,” he said.

“He talks so I don’t have to,” Sam said.

Aw.

Matt felt across the bed and eventually found Sam’s cheek to pinch.

“So shy for such a loudmouth,” he teased.

Sam bit his hand. Matt snickered.

“It’s okay, when I met Fogs I was shy, too,” he said.

Sam grumbled.

“It’s true,” Matt said. “Could not fathom having another human around who I didn’t have to put on an act for.”

He waited.

Sam didn’t even seem to realize that his heart was slowing down.

“I don’t like talking all the time,” he said after a long few beats.

Matt ruffled his hair.

“Ned knows a lot about Star Wars,” he said.

“And computers,” Sam added.

“And code,” Matt said.

Sam’s foot shook a little. Matt schooled his face. Sam crunched into a tighter ball.

Adorable.

Matt got up.

“Long distance is rough,” he said. “Maybe you guys can watch a movie together.”

Sam made a disgruntled sound. Matt left him to be miserable.

---

“You’ve sure turned your opinion around.”

Yes, Husband. Matt had indeed. But that was because Sam was clearly and obviously suffering as a result of this crush, which was precisely where Matt needed him to be.

Misery was familiar. Resentment was nearly as good as spite in terms of skill development.

Dopey-ness was asking for trouble.

“Matt, you cannot be serious.”

Oh, but he could.

“Matthew, what did you tell that boy?”

Nothing he didn’t need to know.

Foggy abandoned him at the table. Matt sipped his coffee. It tasted oh-so-sweet.

---

Things did not change until Matt got a text from Peter that said simply ‘when the fuck is Sam’s birthday?’

In February. Why was he asking?

Peter said ‘damn. Okay, thanks.’

Peter then said that he’d seemed a little sad lately and Ned was freaking out about it and fixating, so they were collectively looking for an excuse to cheer Sam up a little.

Oh, Matt realized. No, that wasn’t sad.

The night nurse had given Sammy the good drugs after last week. He was high as a kite, bless him. Kept running into walls and shit. Matt had dragged him up out of the dog beds twice now.

He informed Peter of the damaged elbow and got nothing but keyboard smashes in return.

This was followed by Sam stumbling out of his room and half up the stairs to make pitiful sounds when he couldn’t make them stay still long enough to climb the rest of them. Foggy shook his head and told Matt to go “strap that kid to the bed, for god’s sake. He’s gonna tear more stitches. And go text for him before he drops his phone again.”

Sammy was coming along great.

He held his phone out to Matt when Matt came down to stand over him on the stairs.

“They’re yellin’,” he slurred.

Yeah, Matt figured.

“Bed,” he said.

“It’s too hot,” Sam said.

No, pathetic ball of humanity. That was the fever, bud.

“Open the window,” Matt said.

“I have a window?”

Bless.

“Up you go,” Matt said.

“DON’T TOUCH ME. Nooooo. Teach, noooooo.”

---

MM: Peter stop texting him. he can’t read his texts rn. Zero tolerance for opioids.

PP: for WHAT

MM: he’s fine. lightly stabbed. Fractured elbow.

MJ: MATT

MM: yes?

MJ: tell him to get better for us

NL: ;__; please?

MM: he will be fine. He’s supposed to be sleeping this off.

MJ: can you keep us updated?

MM: why

PP: he’s our partner?

MM: ?

MM: I thought he was Ned’s main

NL: AJDF:AKSDFJASDFa

NL: DOES HE TALK ABOUT ME??

MJ: dude

NL: my b my b sry sry

NL: does he talk about me DD?

MM: no

NL: cool cool cool that’s fine

PP: ned

NL: it’s casual that’s cool

MJ: oh my god

NL: it doesn’t mean anything. That makes sense.

MM: peter what is happening?

PP: ned has decided that no texting means that sam hates him and no longer wants to be part of our relationship

NL: TELL HIM IM SORRY

PP: remember how you told me I have rejection issues?

MM: Ned he’s fine. He’s not mad. He’s high.

NL: [pikawat.png]

MJ: *coughs*

NL: oh shit my bad. I mean.

NL: what do you mean?

MM: I mean he likes you. He just hates talking about weaknesses. Ergo he hates talking about you.

MJ: ah, yes. I see now. The superhero logic. The forest has reappeared before me.

NL: OWO

MM: what does this mean?

PP: it’s a face. Like a super interested cat

NL: shut up

NL: so he likes me back?

MJ: no

PP: no

MM: I presume so? I don’t know kid. I just said he doesn’t talk about it.

NL: DD I will pay you in computer repairs to find out for me

MM: to find out if Sam likes you??

NL: yes

MM: what part of his obsession is confusing you

MJ: ASHDAF:SDF

PP: harsh

NL: all of it.

NL: okay so here’s the thing. We got like, matchy matchy stuff, right? Cause that’s what couples do. But he never wears his?? And like, we’ve been playing these games online, like, trying to beat each other, but he just stops playing halfway through? And if we’re watching a movie, it’s fine for the first half, but then he gets quiet and I just end up nattering away about nothing for like an hour and I can’t read the silence DD. I can’t read it. And Peter’s a liar

PP: okay no it is WELL established that I can’t lie what are you even talking about

NL: and he keeps going on about how sam’s shy, but he’s NOT shy. And we were fine until this week, but like, obviously, he’s high and not reading his messages and stuff, but idk am I making this into a big deal? From your end?

MM: What was that face, Peter?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

MJ: ASDFAeirwieawewdflajwe

MJ: NED LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE OLD MAN

NL: SHUT UP. DD, please. Help me. Should I apologize? Is he bored of me? Does he want more time with Peter?

PP: what

PP: no pal I’m just a piece of ass in this situ

MJ: as you should be

PP: awwww

MM: ned Sammy’s fine?

NL: omg ‘sammy’ that’s really cute do you think he’d mind if I called him that? You know. If he ever speaks to me again?

PP: DD just tell him everything is fine so we can all go to sleep without being woken up every 20 min for a crisis.

MM: I literally don’t know. He doesn’t talk about any of you.

NL: can you sneaky-ninja ask him?

Matt could not with these children. Sam’s heartbeat was evening out. He was nearly back to sleep. Matt’s back couldn’t take hauling him up off the stairs in another half an hour, so he was going to stay right where he was, that was for damn sure.

“Samuel, you are dating three different flavors of spazz,” he told him.

Sam wriggled over and snuffled into his duvet.

Matt decided that that was an affirmative.

MM: he says you’re all dramatic and to leave him alone to sleep.

NL: ;__;

PP: ned that is not rejection

NL: ok

MJ: this is embarrassing

NL: I’m just gonna crawl under the floorboards and waste away👍

PP: for fuck’s sake this is me-levels of drama

NL: DD can you tell him that if he’s ever down to just watch shit as friends that’s okay too?

MJ: NED. Matt’s literally out of this loop. And Sam’s probably unconscious.

MM: can confirm is now unconscious. I am exiting your drama.

PP: Dude remember when I said I was gonna drown myself in the sea? You are reaching those levels

NL: I JUST LOVE HIM

Oh, aw.

NL: And it’s okay if he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s okay, I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like uncomfortable. I can text him less and let him do his work things and we don’t have to organize shit on the weekends. It’s totally fine

These fuckin’ kids.

Matt grabbed Sam before he cracked his head against the wall and felt around for something to put between his forehead and it.

He fumbled out his phone in the meantime.

“Samuel,” he said into it, “When you wake up, come upstairs before taking the next pill.”

---

Sam was in pain and grumpy as shit and his mood did not improve as he read through Matt’s messages.

“Two days and everyone loses their goddamn minds,” he said.

Pretty much.

“Ned loves you,” Matt teased.

“Ned needs one of those happy pills,” Sam deadpanned.

Hm. How about no?

Sam groaned and carefully melded himself to the table.

“Why don’t you wear the matchy-matchy stuff?” Matt asked, setting a bag of icy water on Sam’s shoulders. He made a soft sound of relief.

“I don’t want to get ‘em dirty,” Sam hummed.

Hm.

“Maybe if you wore them out a little bit, Ned would like that,” Matt offered.

Sam mulled this over.

“Nah,” he said. “I’ll just tell him I wear it to sleep.”

Matt was so proud.

He missed Foggy coming in halfway through that discussion.

He did not miss the lecture Foggy laid on both of them about lying to loved ones.

---

Matt decided that Sam was far, far more emotionally repressed than he’d given the kid credit for. He was tickled pink.

Kirsten and Foggy were not. They called this ‘concerning behavior’ that needed ‘to be monitored in case of hidden injuries and self-harm.’

And like, man, it was as if they’d hard experience with this shit or something.

Matt decided to bypass their waffling and cornered Sam by trapping him in his duvet and demanding to know if he was hiding any injuries or self-harm.

Sam told him to get out of his room. His heartbeat did not react to the accusations, but rather to Matt’s ‘giant, heavy, albatross body’ assaulting him in his safe place.

Matt decided that this was proof that the emotional repression was, as he had always argued, doing exactly what it needed to: making Sam three times more functional as a human being.

Foggy took from that explanation that Matt was lying to him again.

Which, like, obviously.

But did Foggy need to know any of that?

Fuck no.

Only happy times with Matt Murdock here.

Smiling was somehow the wrong answer.

Smiling resulted in yelling. And then lots of loud heartbeats. And then something that looked a little like a fight, probably, to people with working eyes. But Matt knew that it wasn’t that.

It was just Foggy being hurt that Matt couldn’t tell him that Foggy’s homesickness was digging holes in his own resolve and mental wellbeing.

Sam popped up when Foggy went to go lay down to calm down and asked if everything was okay.

Matt told him it was.

Sam’s heart was not convinced. It started beating faster somehow.

Matt fully anticipated the texts that arrived later that night.

---

PP: yo DD, you guys okay?

MM: why

PP: ‘cause Sam’s freaking out saying that you and Foggy were shouting again?

MM: ah

MM: no we’re okay. No biggie

PP: I smell bullshit

MM: carry on smelling then

PP: Matt do you ever think about how you’re like, an example to us all of how not to live?

MM: beg your pardon?

PP: I just mean like, you do shit and we all learn from your shit. Like, every day.

MM: ?

PP: Sam like dumped a pile of lies he’d been telling Ned in his lap and started crying for like half an hour and apologized for another 40 minutes and then hung up and won’t answer his phone.

MM: what was that face again? The cat one?

PP: OwO

MM: OwO

PP: lol

---

The apprentice was perhaps absorbing too much too fast. He flat out denied having had any emotional crisis.

His heart was dead even when he said it. He was getting too good at out-maneuvering that trick.

“Peter seems to think that you had one the other night,” Matt mused.

“Peter needs to mind his own business,” Sam sniffed.

Aha.

“You like Peter,” Matt pointed out.

“He’s fine,” Sam said.

“Fine or fine?”

“That’s nasty, Teach. Don’t be gross. That’s like your little brother.”

Oh, sure it was.

“If Peter is sussing out your lies, you’re not doing a good enough job,” Matt said. “What you need, kiddo, is an aura and a starting point.”

Sam paused in making a horrible grating noise with some tool in his hand.

“A starting point?” he asked.

Why yes, apprentice.

As in, if you start off with your walls up and don’t let them buckle so easily, so many of these problems can be avoided.

“Isn’t that, like, the opposite of what Foggy said to do?” Sam asked suspiciously.

Well, technically. The husband might be correct for normal humans, but they weren’t normal humans. And as much as Matt loved him and thought he was brilliant, Foggy would never truly grasp that Matt needed those lies.

He needed the repression. The bottling. The anger.

He needed all that shit to be shaken up in him and then capped by the helmet every night.

Doing that kept Matt safe. It kept others safe.

It wasn’t fun and it wasn’t pretty and yeah, Matt was pretty fucked up because of it.

But Stick hadn’t been wrong about everything.

Not even he could be wrong about everything.

“It’s called balance,” Matt said. “Think about it like this. You’re a teacher. You’re about to walk into a new class. You need to establish a respectful relationship between yourself and these kids. How do you do it? Do you start off nice? Or do you start off strict?”

Sam said nothing.

“I start off strict,” Matt said. “Because it’s infinitely easier to become nicer and to keep respect than it is to start off nice and get meaner.”

Sam processed this.

“This sounds like an anti-Foggy sentiment,” he said.

No. It wasn’t anti-Foggy. Nothing was anti-Foggy.

“It’s nuance,” Matt said. “Intrapersonal relationships? Minimal repression. Interpersonal relationships, maximum repression. Don’t give them something to use against you”

Sam’s teeth clicked together as he worked his jaw.

“Talk to Ned and Peter,” he said. “Walls up to everyone else.”

Everyone else. Yes.

“I can do that.”

Yeah, Matt knew. Sam did it to pretty much anyone he didn’t immediately take a liking to at the firm.

“I can do that,” Sam repeated.

Woah. Wait. Hold on there, slugger. Nuance, remember?

“I’m just gonna hate the entire world,” Sam said. “Thanks, Teach. That’s a big help.”

---

PP: Matt

MM: Peter

PP: you know that Sam fucks with you daily right?

MM: …I forget sometimes

PP: lol you guys are funny

That little shit. Fine.

Do whatever. See if Matt cared.

Goddamn kids and their goddamn love affairs.

Whatever. Fuck ‘em.

Let them learn the bullshit on their own time. Matt had better things to do.

---------------

Matt and Foggy and Kirsten have their own polycule goin on with folks entering and leaving it as need be. And sometimes you just have to make Sam/Ned content because it is unerringly adorable.

#ficlet #samuel chung #matt murdock #ned leeds #inimitable verse #but this isn't canon to the verse I'm just fuckin around #fic #don't mind me #just having a ball #how does one make a category on Ao3 that is just like I accidentally made my own spiderman verse #and now I want to write stories using those characters but not in that main arc #I JUST WANT TO PLAY IN THAT SPACE YALL

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koishua · 3 years

Note

I am not great at theorizing but I would love to hear about your favorite characters from atla!

oh my, i am SO down for this. let me take a look, okay

i wont rank them or anything bc i love them all, but my top five would be uncle iroh, sokka, toph, suki, and azula.

UNCLE IROH. is the story's source of lesson and of wisdom. he is such an icon and he is loved by all istg he is the best man ever i love him so much i wish i was related to him as a niece like zuko or something. he truly is so wise and kind against all.

he is one of a kind, he was such a gem and held a strong view of what was wrong and what was right. i think people underestimate how great of a bender he is, tho. he was a member of the order of the lotus (eyyy the oldies but goldies gang basically lmao) aka the strongest people ever hello?? he represented the fire nation in that group and my GOd is he an amazing one.

he is different from most, because unlike other firebenders, his skills and abilities aren't directly derived from anger and fury. that's why he isn't as hot headed as regular firebenders and even teaches zuko about this (which works bc zuko is considerably calmer later in the series)

and then there is his legacy. mans beat an entire dragon in a battle of flames?? he breathes fire too so that's always the coolest thing ever and his diligence while working himself back to prepare for war in that prison absolutely took me out omg the way he strategizes??? explains why he was a general. he has a heart of gold unlike any.

SOKKA. now for him, i have the biggest amount of respect and adoration for. let's adress the elephant in the room here. he singlehandedly devised a ginormous plan to defeat am empire that has been raising tyranny for over a century. how fucking awsome can one get?? mr sexy brain amirite?

plus, he was completely skilless the first part of the series and his entire growth just blows me away every single time. sure, he had his little boomerang but that was it. after they created gaang tho, his potential was so fully exploited i cant even express how proud i am oml he was diamond in the rough.

he acted so brash and was the comedic relief character a lot of the times, so his subtle feats of intelligence didn't get noticed a lot, but oml the way i am down bad for him. his determination and desperation to become god at a skill is so enjoyable to watch like,,, the piandao episode where he learns how to wield a sword is one of my favorite episodes of all time!! anyways, this is getting alittle long so lets move on to....

TOPH BEIFONG. listen. lis-ten. thats my girl right there. i was eight when i first watched atla and she was twelve and the amount of confidence she instilled in little-me is just- *sobs* (also i realized that she is literlly the only character in this with an official lastname lmfao)

toph is forever going to remain as THAT icon. her mindset is as stable and stubborn as they go because of her earthbending lmao i love how self-assured she is. she is the definition of born into riches, growing to become greatness.

her heritage is not at all important to who she is as a character and most people even forget that she is insanely wealthy because she never mentions it. but anyway that is beside my point idk why i touched on this aspect. moving on!!

i feel like they portrayed her childish nature so well in this series like?? sure, she was the greatest earthbender of all time and still is, she was also a twelve year old tween lmao she was something else istg

and her sass, humor and just her entire attitude was so solid oml she was THAT bitch and i mean it in the most awed way possible. i can talk about her more but imma keep it short for this post's sake.

SUKI. my idol right here y'all. this is my og feminist queen right here. badass woman i love her so much. embodies courage, hard work and strength in oneself. man, kyoshi warriors are super awesome i literlly do not have any other words about her other than "woah"

obviously, she couldnt bend at all but growing up on kyoshi island, one made by avatar kyoshi herself by literally parting an entire section of land away to carry them back to make an island by spouting out lava hundreds of miles down the ocean floor is just???? but we aren't here to talk about the blood-thirsty woman rn-

she learned how to deal damage on benders who dared to attack their homeland and she is just- just- idk ugh she is so gorgeous too like?? forget about sokka please, come marry me instead i beg you ;-;

suki is so quick to react to danger and doesn't wait for anyone to save the day. she knows what she can do and she does her best to help ;-; im thinking about that once moment when toph fell into the ocean and suki was the first one to dive right in their to save her while everyone else was just literally standing there lmao even katara who could literally bend water

AZULA. now, this is where shit goes down. i lover her as a character that has been developed to show what a bad childhood environment could lead to in children who are particularly cunning and born a little sharper than others.

azula was a threat to all at the age of fifteen. fif-teen. she was a mastermind in countless incredible plans that overtake populations and she is so incredible quick-witted. perfectly evil for the sake of being evil, but also not at the same time.

the azula we last see in the agni kai between her and zuko, her own bilogical older brother whom she had tormented pretty much their entire life, was the product of accumulated trauma and pressure that she had been subject to ever since she had learned bending fire. blue fire.

she had shown from the start that she was gifted and strong and was on a league of her own compared to other kids. all of her childhood was spent garnering the approval of her father and grandfather who were toxic and evil and bad role models for her. anyone who grows up in bad environments are guaranteed to turn out messed up.

her mother preferred the softer zuko than her sadistic daughter and not receiving her mother's affection enough really showed its consequences in the last few episodes where you get to see her breaking down. she hallucinates about her mother and it was so heartbreaking to watch for me as a seventeen year old. i didn't really get the extent of her pschotic breakdown as an eight year old.

for heaven's sake, she was a devil. idk my thought are so scattered rn but i feel like i can make a post about her complicated character later when i gather my thoughts properly bahaha

tldr for azula: gifted child gone horribly wrong

anyhow, this was super fun omg

#“(?)” ⸻ letters from friend.#feyre × 🍂

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monsieur-hadrien · 4 years

Text

Quarantine Harry Potter Fanfiction *READING LIST*

I’ve spent the past months reading copious amounts of fanfiction and now my amount of AO3 bookmarks is absurd. I really need to share these because if I don’t I think I might implode. Drarry-centric but not all!

These are in no particular order nor is there a particular time frame that these were all posted. I have a little bit of everything in here just you wait.

On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads by Enigmaris

56 Chapters, 247k Words, Complete, no slash, T Rating

Marvel, Norse Mythology, Harry Potter Crossover

TW: Past Abandonment

Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.

We’re starting off strong with a Marvel crossover fanfic wow. Who knew that crossovers could be done tastefully as 2013 Wattpad kind of ruined it for us. However, this fic changed my mind! This fic is funny as fuck and is just a goodass time. I love a good multi-chapter fic (as you’ll soon see) and this one is a showstopper.

The Man Who Lived by sebastianL

42 Chapters, 254k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, E Rating

TW: Major Character Death, Graphic Deptictions of Violence

Draco breaks a cup, and one thing leads to another. A story of redemption, tattoos, dreams, mistakes, green eyes, long conversations, and copious amounts of coffee.

With all of the Black Lives Matter protests happening right now, I think that this fic is super relevant. Draco has moved to New York City and is working as a receptionist at a tattoo shop and a mentor for inner city kids, but he accidentally gets forced to work out his differences with Harry, who at this point hates his guts. This fic is pretty serious, tackling themes of mental health, suicide, and police brutality. Every OC in this story is completely lovable and I cried my eyes out many times. When people ask me for a fic reccomendation this is the one I give people. Dare I say that this is my all-time favorite fic.

Warm Bodies by Betty_Hazel

Work in Progress, 37 Chapters as of 6/12/2020, 108k Words, Draco/Harry, E Rating

TW: D/s Dynamics, Graphic Porn, Dubious Relationship with Food

Draco Malfoy has spent his whole life wanting to go down on his knees for other men, and that's by far the least of the depraved things he fantasises about. He's wanted it all for so long that he's stopped believing that there might be someone out there who might be able to give it all to him; it comes as something of a surprise to find that maybe Harry Potter can, and that maybe Harry's looking for something too.

ALRIGHT MY PORN LOVERS THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! Don’t lie I know you’re horny. Somehow this fic is so fucking gorgeous and sweet yet so sinfully hot. It’s literally two boys who have never felt like their emotional needs have been satisfied learning to help and love each other like how much more wholesome does it get. I mean it’s all fine and wholesome until you get to the kinky sex which is WONDERFULLY WRITTEN MIGHT I ADD! I always say that if porn can make you feel something other than just horny, you’ve found a winner, and this story does just that.

Definitely check all the tags and I mean all the tags before you read this, but this is definitely one of my favorite porn with plot stories.

Running On Air by eleventy7

17 Chapters, 75k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, T Rating

TW: No Archive Warnings

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

Might I just say that classics are considered classics for a reason. This is one of those stories that has the vibe of high school summer after senior year where all you do is try to escape reality and figure out your place in the world. While the plot is wonderful and the characters are great, I think what shines the brightest from this story is the writing style. It’s so enchanting and poetic with the best one-liners that make your heart hurt. On my AO3 bookmark i captioned it, “This just ripped my soul in half and restitched it together again,” and I still stand by that.

Lokison (Series) and How To Train Your Godling (Series) by sifsshadowheart

Main Story (Lokison): 33 Chapters, 244k Words, Completed, Harry/Various Characters, E Rating

14 Spinoffs/ Sequel Stories, Completed, Harry/Various, Various Ratings

Norse Mythology, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Various Fandoms Crossover

TW: Major Character Death, Graphic Violence, Underage Sex, Spiralling Mental Health

James and Lily Potter had a secret, one which led to Thanatos saving young Harry from a dreary life with the Dursleys and changed the face of the Second British Wizarding War before it ever began.

This story feels much more like a 12 season television show than a two hour movie if you know what I mean. The plot is pretty slow going but the character development and interation makes it worth it. The story blends the lore and events of the HP and PJO to make a completely new story without making it feel like a goddamn recap. The reader follows Harry from when he’s young all the way into adulthood and it’s a fun time to watch him grow as a character and bond with his parental figures. Also some of the spinoffs are really wild and I never would have thought of the pairings but they just work somehow?? My personal favorite spinoff is the Pirates of Caribbean/Calypso and Leo arc like HELLO?! hot pirates. The total word count of the two series is 465k so beware it takes a hot second to chug through this one.

This Worship of an Extinct Fire by Lomonaaeren

Oneshot, 30k Words, Draco/Harry, M Rating

TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Deppression

Unspeakable Draco Malfoy has planned for nearly six months how to take down Thomas Linwood, a man who has discovered the secret of converting wizard bodies to pure magic. He was prepared for anything--except the discovery of the missing Harry Potter in Linwood's compound.

This one, I don’t know how it’s not considered a classic. I’ve seen it floating around on drarry tumblr and wow is it good. I especially like the detailed magic system and mechanics that Draco is investigating. How the author managed to have so much detailed and gracefully planned out backstory in 30k words is beyond me. Also gentle Dracoo Malfoy is my favorite Draco Malfoy :) absolute angel mode.

Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by LLAP15 and Writcraft

Oneshot, 66k Words, Draco/Harry, Past Sirius/James, E Rating

TW: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light D/s Dynamics, References to Cancer, References to HIV/AIDS

Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for.

This fic is, in every sense, a masterpiece. Especially for pride month, the story surrounding LGBTQIA+ activism, the AIDS Epidemic of the 80s, and the gentrification of historically queer communities is one that should be read by everyone. Every single place, OC, and historic event has real world ties and is historically accurate, making this fic even more enchanting. Everything about this fic is graceful and slow burning I can’t help but fall in love with it. I’ve only seen this fic once on HP tumblr, but I feel like it should be considered a classic as it is truly a moving piece. This fic is one of the biggest reasons why I became so enthralled with LGBT history and am writing a fic that takes place in a wizarding version of the AIDS epidemic.

Sensitive Touch by Raserwolf

45 Chapters, 194k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, E Rating

TW: Racism and Racial Slurs, Homophobic Slurs, Ablism and Ablist Slurs, Rape and Sexual Assault, Sensory Overloads and Mental Breakdowns, Extreme Bullying and Hate Crime, Past Abuse, Anxiety Disorders, PTSD wow this is a long list

When Draco Malfoy encounters a struggling and frustrated Harry desperately trying to tie his shoes after a meltdown in the Great Hall, his curiosity regarding the incident leads him to seek the help of the two people closest to Harry: Ron and Hermione.

After even they are shocked to hear the extent of Harry's issues, though Hermione had her suspicions, he discovers more about the man than he ever thought he knew before.

As a Neurotypical, I found this fic to be absolutely wonderful. I don’t know much about the typical traits of those who are one the autism spectrum and how they affect their everyday lives, but from what I was reading in the comments from those who are on the spectrum or who have family who are, this fic was pretty accurate and realistic. Harry, who lives with aspergers, goes without a known diagnosis until 8th year and it’s just heightened by his PTSD and anxiety and ugh I just want to hug the boy. The story follows Harry and Draco and the rest of the 8th year gang through the year and has multiple arcs in which the wizarding world are just dumbass bitches who can’t fucking seem to accept people for who they are. Not only is Harry on the spectrum but he’s also Desi with a purpose and not just mentioned and forgotten which is wonderful. The boys go through a lot of trauma in the story but there’s also a lot of teeth-rotting fluff that I live for. This is one of the fics that I have read and reread because I love it so much.

This definitely is not my full list I have a ton more stories in my bookmarks if you are curious. I’ll probably post a part two to this just cause I have so much and read so often. These, however, are definitely the biggest highlights.

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lunanight2012 · 4 years

Text

A Whole New World Chapter 1 Part 1

Key:

{Y/N} = Your Name

{E/C} = Eye Color

{H/L} = Hair Length

{H/C} = Hair Color

{S/C} = Skin Color

{N/N} = Nickname

{L/N} = Last Name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later

(1st person pov)

A whole year has passed since I came to this world and you know what. I love it!

Harry and I have been paired together, and well. We kinda have a thing. I have long since gotten rid of my old clothes and became a full fledged pirate. Oh and Harry and I live together in his apartment.

He's become my best friend, I've never had a best friend so this was nice.

"{Y/N}! Hello? Ya coming?" Harry exclaimed from the hall.

"I'm comin!" I exclaimed, getting my bandana and tying it around my head, keeping my {H/C} {H/L} out of my face.

I headed out of the bedroom and over to where Harry was waiting for me at the door. I smirked, a very mischievous idea coming to mind. I grabbed his hook from him and bolted out the door, giggling like crazy.

"Get back 'ere!" Harry shouted, chasing after me, though I could hear the laughter in his voice.

I laughed as I dodged residents in the market, making my way towards Ursula's Chip Shop.

Making it inside I placed his hook on the sword check barrel, placing my sword inside before I scampered off towards Uma.

"Bout time Ya showed up… where's Harry?" Uma questioned as I got on my apron to help out at the shop.

I didn't even answer, just gestured at the door as Harry ran through, grabbing his hook off the barrel and placing his sword in the barrel.

"Ye little brat!" Harry exclaimed, though it was easy to see he wasn't angry, with that goofy smile on his face.

Yea I may or may not do this to him regularly, i perked up as Uma started to swear at the tv.

I walked over to the tiny television and watched with Harry, Uma, and Gil.

"WHAT? THOSE BASTARDS GET TO GET OFF THE ISLE AND WE DON'T???" Uma screamed.

I held Harry's left hand, we just stood there watching a limo pull up to the Auradon school and there they were. A bunch of scary idiots, Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay. Harry knew how much I wanted to get all the kids off the Isle, but we were Uma's crew so to Uma we wanted to get off the Isle ourselves.

Harry squeezed my hand, knowing what we were seeing was really bugging me.

"Uma! Imma take {Y/N} to the beach. She's not doin good." Harry explained untying my apron and dragging me out of the shop and down to the small littered beach.

"Come on {N/N} what's wrong? I know ye don't like that they got chosen to go to Auradon but what's really botherin ya?" Harry asked me, crossing his arms over his chest.

I stared at the ground, not saying anything. I just wanted to tell him I like as more than a friend but I'm scared.

"I just feel horrible that those jerks get to go to Auradon and you guys don't. Why can't you guys have a nice life with those goody two shoes. I mean heck there's a lot of gorgeous girls in Auradon. I mean have you seen Prince Ben's girlfriend? What was her name???" I rambled on, trying to remember Aurora's daughter's name.

Harry lifted an eyebrow but went along with it. "Audrey? Yea she's alright. I ain't really the princess type if ye haven't noticed {N/N}." Harry stated, showing off his hook.

I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck. Suddenly a clinking bottle drew us away. Of course Captain Hook would find us here on this spot of the beach.

"Boy! Where the hell have ye been!! And who is this pretty thing?" Hook held out his hook, brushing some of my hair back.

I cringed and backed away, only for him to grab my wrist with his non-hook hand, rather tightly might I add.

"Where do ye think yer goin? Yer coming with me!" Hook exclaime, a VERY creepy grin on his face.

Harry grabbed his fathers hand and ripped it off my wrist, pulling me behind him and glaring at his dad.

"She's mine pops. Fuck off and be pissed somewhere else!" And as soon as those words left Harry's mouth a loud smack could be heard, followed by me gasping.

Yeah, Captain Hook bitch slapped his son across the face. "How dare you talk to me like that you lowly punk! You sir are coming with me." Hook grabbed Harry's left wrist and dragged him away.

Harry turned back to me, mouthing ‘get back to Umas now’

I whimpered, watching helplessly as harry was dragged away by Hook ‘im sorry’

~back at Ursula's Chip Shop~

I walked back into the shop, head hung low, trying to not cry.

"Where the hell have you bee- where's Harry?" Uma asked looking around.

"His father tried to take me away, so Harry stepped in and his father slapped him and took him away, it's all my fault…" I explained, a sadness to my tone.

Uma dropped whatever she was holding. "Dammit! That bastard is an abusive fuck! {Y/N} go find some bandages, and some needle and thread. Gil, go boil some water! It is gonna be a long day." Uma ordered.

I nodded and ran towards the stalls. Stealing everything Uma asked of me. Running back towards the Chip Shop all I could think of was what was gonna happen to Harry. Is he gonna be ok? This is all my fault. If we had just stayed at the shop-

"{Y/N}! Did you find everything?" Uma exclaimed, drawing me out of my mental breakdown.

I nodded and handed her everything. She nodded in approval and placed them behind the counter in a safe place.

And so while we waited for Harry to return, I helped out Uma at the Shop. It was a rough time helping out without Harry. Mostly because grown men were hitting on me and ugh!! I just want Harry to come back safe and sound.

2 hours later~~~~

I groaned as I held my head, tired of the drunken whistles and catcalls coming from the older male customers. And yes I've been grabbed a couple of times already. My butt, my wrists, my waist… need I go on?

I slumped against the bar as Uma pushed a plate towards me, with fish and eggs and oh!

Harry came in right then, his hook on his belt, hugging his right arm. I ran to him, tears in my eyes.

"Harry!!! I'm so glad you're back!! Wait what's wrong with your arm?" I asked, about to hug him but stopped as I noticed blood dripping down to the floor from his right arm.

"Dad fucked up my arm" Harry explained, wincing as he walked over to the bar.

Uma saw Harry and ran over to him. "I swear to Poseidon, I will kill that fucker dad of yours once and for all for what he's done to you! The bastard doesn't deserve to live!" Uma raged, her shell necklace glowing from beneath her shirt, trying to unleash umas anger, but to no avail.

Uma took Harry over behind the bar counter and got out the medical supplies and, Gil and I’s help, stitched the slice on his arm back up and created a sling for his arm. Uma ordered me to take harry home and make sure the cut didn’t get infected.

I sniffed as I eyed Harry’s arm, seeing blood splotches blooming beneath the white of the sling.

“Harry?” I whispered, he hummed, wincing as he turned to look at me “why did you do that for me? Protect me from your dad? It only caused you harm” he stopped walking, stared at me for a moment, that’s when I finally noticed his face, littered with bruises and cuts, his lip busted and scabbed, a blackening eye.

“I” he started, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, “I care about yeh lassie, I couldn’t let him do tha’ ta yeh, not on my watch”

I felt my eyes tear up. "N-no- no one has ever cared about me that much." I whispered, rubbing the tears from my {E/C} eyes.

Harry was surprised by that. "Really? Now tha' is surprisin'. Yer very special, don' ever let anyone tell ya differently." Harry stated, pulling me to his chest, I began to cry.

We stood like this for only a moment longer before people started noticing us. Harry grabbed my hand with his good one and we ran to the apartment. Ducking, jumping, squeezing past all the people in the marketplace was a task but we were both laughing by the time we got to the apartment.

I placed my palm on the door to open it, slightly wincing. But hey what can you expect from permanent scars on both of my palms, that still hurt even after a year.

Harry frowned. "Scars hurtin?" He asked me once we were inside.

"Yea. But it's alright." I smiled as I closed the door behind Harry.

"Let meh see 'em." He stated, holding out his good hand.

I sighed and placed both of my hands in his hand. He pulled my hands up to his face and kissed them. My face turning bright red.

He smirked. "Ok lass. Now I've waited a year but I've got two questions for ye." Harry stated, sitting down on our rundown couch.

"Ok." I remarked, raising an eyebrow.

"First off. You mentioned you had an affinity for water. What do ye mean by that?" Harry asked me.

I sighed, sitting on the stool across from him.

"Alright, guess I should expect this. When I was very young, really my entire life, my mom didn't really like me. And now that I think about it, no one in my family liked me. I never got what I wanted for my birthday. My mom kept me inside as much as possible. But when I was young, on rainy days I would sneak out to the backyard and sit on a big log that laid in the back of our backyard and would just giggle as the rain wouldn't touch me but would lightly swirl around me. Of course when my mom saw me she'd scream bloody murder and drag me back inside. Granted the minute she would grab me the rain would hit me. As I got older I learned that being "special" was not something people should know. I needed to keep it locked away. But that didn't make my relationship with my family any better. Actually 6 months before I arrived here I was kicked out of my parents house. I was only 14. I have my own small apartment. Actually, your apartment here is bigger than the one I had back on my world. And I had to lie about my age to get a job, AND I'm still in High School. So yea. Maybe coming here was the world's way of saying I needed a fresh start." I rambled on.

Harry chuckled. "Outside of this barrier is magic. And now I understand why you and Uma get along like sisters." Harry stated, leaning back.

"Har. You said you had two questions. What is the second question?" I asked, becoming curious.

"O-oh… *swallows* Well lass. Ye know I really like ye. And I was wonderin' would ye want to be meh gurl?" Harry asked, his face heating up.

I blushed but smiled, getting up and sitting next to Harry's good side.

"I like you too harry, and yes i'll be yer gurl" I mocked his accent with a big smile on my face.

Harry smiled and leaned closer to my face. I smirked and grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Harry hummed into the kiss, pushing his passion into it. I felt his good hand cup my cheek. After a moment we broke apart, our breaths ragged.

I brushed his cheek with my thumb. "Well, you just had the honor of being my first kiss!" I giggled with a blush.

Harry smirkes. "Well I'm very much honored lassie~!" Harry winked at me. My face turned bright red in embarrassment.

I looked over at the cracked clock. 12:30pm.

Good thing it's saturday… wait it's thursday!

"Harry we've missed half of school. But with how hurt you are we'll skip today." I stated, standing up. Harry shrugged “eh, missing school is a good thing ‘ere remember? If every vk went to school everyday we would lose all our rep”

"I'm going to grab us some food from the mart. I'll be right back." I said smiling down at him.

Before Harry could say anything I nicked his hook and left the apartment. Tying my bandana around my head I headed out to the market. Holding Harry's hook in my {dominant} hand.

I got to the market, scouring the stalls, I spotted a stall with semi-fresh fruit. Waiting till the owner wasn't looking, I snuck over and stole two apples, and two peaches.

"Hey! What do you think your doing missy?"

Shit.

I smirked, hiding the fruit in my bag and holding up the hook.

"What did ye say?" I asked, mimicking Harry's voice.

The stall owner held up their hands. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were one of Uma's crew! Please t-take this." The owner handed me a bag of money.

I smirked. "Thank ye very much. Uma will be very happy." I thanked and left. Of course I hit a few stands too, getting eggs, fabrics, and even some potatoes that didn't look too bad.

As I walked back into the apartment I began to sing a song from my world.

"I need another story. Something to get off my chest. My life is kind of boring. Need something that I can confess." I sing as I set the fruit in a basket that was on the cracked kitchen counter.

"'Til all my sleeves are stained red. From all the truth that I've said. Come by it honestly I swear. Thought you saw me wink, no. I've been on the brink, so." I twirled, putting the eggs in the fridge.

Harry watched me with his brow raised, clearly confused by me.

"Tell me what you want to hear! Something that will light those ears! Sick of all the insincere! So I'm gunna give all my secrets away!" I sang smiling like an idiot.

"Lass. Whatcha singin? Never hear'd that song before." Harry questioned, taking his hook back.

"Its a song from my world." I explained, something I hadn't noticed was that the gold ring around my pupils was getting bigger, slowly covering up my {E/C} eyes.

"Hmm sounds interestin'. Although I much prefer yer voice over everythin'." Harry stated, pulling me close.

I giggled. "Come on Harry. If your feeling well enough to cuddle then you can come with me while I take the money I got to Uma." I stated, holding up the bag of money.

"How'd ya get that?"

"The stall owners saw yer hook and got scared shitless." I admitted, smiling.

Harry smirked and pulled me close, kissing my head. "I love ye so much lass!" He said into my hair.

I giggled. "Come on my pirate. Let's go see Uma." I smiled.

We left the apartment and headed for Uma's place. The Chip Shop to be exact.

As we get closer I hear singing.

"What's my name? What's my name?"

"Not again." I groan.

"Hmm? What's up lass?" Harry asked, curious.

"Uma's singing her what's my name song again." I explained standing outside of the shop. Harry's eyes dilated and he almost seemed like a different person.

He walked right into the shop and started singing. Great. I walked in after him. Not paying any attention to Uma, Harry, or the crew. I sat with my back facing them and ordered a plate of fish. Gil was sitting next to me, clearly too busy eating his eggs to participate in the singing.

"Gil. Why do you eat so much eggs? Don't you get sick of them?" I asked him as my food arrived.

"No! I gotta eat lots to be like my dad!" He said with his mouth full.

I rolled my eyes, then I noticed that Gil's blonde hair was getting in his eyes. I stole a brown bandana off of a patron and handed it to him.

"Here Gil. Use this. It'll help you match with the rest of the crew, and you'll be able to eat, walk, fight, talk, etc without having your hair in your eyes." I smiled.

Gil smiled and proceeded to tie the bandana around his head. As he did this I smiled, eating my fish.

"So how is Harry? I heard his dad did that to him. Glad my dad isn't that abusive." Gil stated. His hair looking more "piratey".

I nodded, glancing over my shoulder for a second to see Uma giving the crew commands on how to do the moves properly to her song.

"It's my fault he got hurt tho. His dad saw me and Harry protected me." I explained, sighing a bit.

I pulled on my necklace. This was something I had from my world. The only family member that cared about me was my grandma. But she died when I was 6. The necklace was from her. I never understood why the charm was important, I can't read the engraving on it, but it was a large coin shaped charm that was smaller than the size of my palm on a sturdy string necklace.. But I don't take it off. The engraving on it was something I gave up on decoding when I was 12.

"{Y/N}?" Gil asked, getting me out of my thoughts.

"Yes Gil?" I asked.

"Why are you playing with your necklace?" He asked me with a slight tilt to his head.

"Oh. This was a gift from my grandma, she was the last person to ever actually care about me in my world. I can't understand the engraving though." I admitted, feeling the text again.

"Oh? Maybe Harry can help. He's really good at deciphering stuff." Gil stated eating another egg.

"Oh? He never told me that." I said as I looked over at Harry and Uma who were chatting about work and stuff. "I'm not going to bother him with it though." I muttered, before looking back at Gil.

"How have you been today Gil? I haven't seen you all day." I asked, tucking my necklace back under my shirt.

"Been fine. My brothers were jerks today. I got a couple of bruises on my back from them. But I managed to get this bandanna from a stall today! Thank you for helping me!" Gil exclaimed with an innocent smile.

This child doesn't deserve to be on this wretched island.

"Your brothers' are horrible. They are just AHHHHHH--!" I screamed, gripping my head as my eyes turned golden, such a bad headache.

"{Y/N}!!" Harry exclaimed, rushing over to me.

I groaned. "I-I'm fine. Bad headache." I groaned out, looking up at Harry.

"Yer eyes, ther' golden." Harry exclaimed, amazed.

I frowned and rubbed at my eyes. Why are they fully golden? That never happens. I groaned again and squinted up at Harry, Gil, and Uma. When did I get on the ground.

"How'd I get down here?" I asked, the headache finally disappearing.

Gil's face got closer to mine. "Her eyes are back to normal!" Gil exclaimed.

Of course more crew members started gathering around. And I became flustered.

"I-I'm f-fine." I stuttered, my face turning red from embarrassment.

"Alright everyone back to work!" Uma commanded.

#a whole new world #harry hook x reader #fanfic #my story #harry hook #descendants fanfic

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katsura018 · 4 years

Text

Short MiyuSawa Fic (1/2) Ver 2

“Sawamura!” Kanemaru shouted.

Giggles and loud laughter were surrounding the flushed second year. As much as his classmates were finding the scenario hilarious, they were also consoling the poor guy and calming him down.

Damn it! This is definitely not okay! Why do I have to be one of those guys! I was paying attention to homeroom damn it! He recalls the day the mascots were chosen for the school’s festival. Since Sawamura and Furuya were barely paying any attention they were immediately selected by the entire class, they needed another one so why not one more from the baseball team.

The mascots’ main job was to run around school and play a game with random people, helping them win food coupons for their cosplay café.

To make sure they were noticeable, appealing, and cute enough, as it was the café’s theme, Kanemaru, the always serious one with a face that could scare innocent first years was now wearing a girl’s sailor uniform.

He was blushing from ear to ear as he kept trying to pull down his skirt, thinking it was too short and how embarrassing it was for hits manly thighs to be seen by everyone. It was a well done Zettai ryoiki, his classmates had done their best to make him moe.

Kanemaru amidst his inner breakdown mumbling how he’d need to run around the school in such an outfit had one hope.

If those two looks worse than me then I might survive.

He had called Sawamura earlier but the other was still getting ready behind a makeshift dressing room made with curtains the class had borrowed.

“Kanemaru, you done already?” Furuya peeks out of his own dressing room.

“GAH!” He turns his head and sees Furuya’s face, he had makeup on and as expected of an Ikemen, he looked good in it, rather than an Ikemen he had transformed into a beautiful innocent looking lady.

Daaaaaaaaaamn it! Kanemaru curses Ikemen-Furuya.

“Furuya! You’re done!” A voice calls out from inside the dressing room Furuya was in, a female classmate helping him put on the costume.

“Ah… then…” Furuya opened the curtains, revealing the light blue fluffy dress decorated in frills. His costume theme was a princess. He also had long black extensions reaching all the way down his hips.

“OOOOOOHHHH!” A completely different reaction compared to Kanemaru’s reveal.

The giggling and comforting classmates that cornered Kanemaru were right now encircling Furuya-hime with praises and phones, taking pictures of him. Posting about the popular ace’s daily life had become a fun past time for the class.

Kanemaru after looking half-dead for a few seconds, lit up a light bulb in his head.

Sawamura! There’s still Sawamura! There’s no way he’d-

“Oh! Furuya’s so pretty! As expected of an Ikemen!” Sawamura appears pulling the curtain away and walking toward Kanemaru.

His theme was Neko-maid. He was cute.

“OOOOOOOOH!!!!” Another round of cheers with a mix of shock as well.

Brown cat ears and pigtail extensions were placed on each side his head, he already had cat like eyes so the applied makeup was minimum, their classmate that had applied had a very proud and satisfied face.

The maid outfit was black and long, so it didn’t reveal skin unlike Kanemaru’s, long sleeves and a long dress reaching above his ankles covered by a pure white frilly apron held by a nearly tied ribbon from behind. The ribbon also had a cat tail attached to it.

So.. so cute…It totally suits him, was this dude always his cute? His eyes are sparkling and what’s with that sweet smile? Kanemaru thought as he stared at Sawamura.

“But… BWAHAHAHAHHA” Sawamura pointed to Kanemaru. “What’s with that face Kanemaru! Smile! Smile a bit more!” Sawamura just had to be Sawamura.

If only he’d keep his freaking mouth shut! Kanemaru scolded his inner self.

“So then…” Sawamura started. “Jan ken pon!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!” Kanemaru screamed, almost everyone in the hallway jolted.

“Okay! I’ll be going to the first years, Furuya to the second years, and Kanemaru will be inviting the Third years!” The three had decided to use Janken to choose who will be going where.

“I beg you Sawamura!” Kanemaru grabbed Sawamura by the shoulders, eyes nearly in tears. “You’re closer to the Third years! You go! You’re way better suited to do it” he begged.

“No! You agreed with Janken too and lost!” Sawamura shakes off Kanemaru’s hands off of him.

“Then, I’m going to the first years then. Furuya! Don’t forget we have to help with the café after an hour okay?” Sawamura turns to Furuya.

“Mhm” The taller one nods. “Ugh, I’ll definitely need to pick you up…” The shorter one grimaces.

“SAWAMURAAAAAAA!!!!!!” Kanemaru continues to wail but Sawamura had already started jogging away.

“DAMN IT!” Kanemaru curses. “RIGHT! Furuya-“

Furuya was also already walking away.

“Let’s see… it’s a 15-minute walk to the nearest store.” Kuramochi was reading through a list of stuff needed to be bought.

“If you run, maybe you can make it in less than that?” Miyuki was next to him.

“That’d mean I’d be going alone!”

“That’s true! Hehe”

The two were declared errand boys by their class. Miyuki was absent minded that made him clumsy and useless, so he was chosen. Kuramochi was there to make sure Miyuki would make it on time and wouldn’t wander around. The two were already getting along well enough to leave the errands to them.

Plus, their class was doing a play and since they were both in the baseball team, they didn’t have time to be practicing in roles with too much lines to memorize. After the errands they’d be wearing either a tree or rock costume or working behind the scenes.

“Ah? Isn’t that Zono?” Miyuki notices. They were in the hallway on their way down the stairs.

“JAN KEN PON!” Zono screams.

“And that’s another lost, sorry Zono-senpai” Kanemaru was doing well after being laughed at a lot by his classmates. He was surprised Maezono hadn’t teased him as much as the others.

Maybe he can relate somehow… Kanemaru kept the thought to himself.

“Here, another candy.” He hands the consolation prize again.

“Damn it.” Zono accepts angrily, he had four tries. “One more!”

“Zono-senpai…”

I’m gonna run out of candy…

“Hey! I want to try to! What would you do if Kanemaru runs out of consolation prizes?” Kuramochi interrupts. “That’s quite the look by the way Kanemaru.”

“Ugh!” Kanemaru jolts realizing quickly whose voice that was.

“Bwaha- must be tough! Well… it’s not like we third years don’t understand.” Miyuki smirks behind Kuramochi.

“Miyuki-senpai! Kuramochi-senpai! Ah... this... uuugh” Kanemaru starts to blush again. “…ugh! Let’s just get this done with! You get a coupon for our class’s café if you win, if not you get candy.”

“Got it!” Kuramochi was first.

“By the way, the coupon is random too.” Kanemaru makes a fist.

“Jan Ken Pon!”

“AHH!” Zono screams.

“Yosh! Wins on the first try!” Kuramochi smirks at Maezono.

“Woah, my first winner.” Kanemaru opens the neck pouch he had been wearing. It had little pieces of folded paper. “Please pick one!”

“Oh! Free pudding with a Neko dance.” Kuramochi reads the one he got. “Neko dance?”

“Pfft” Kanemaru giggles. “That’s… one of the maids will do a little dance for you when serving the pudding!”

“I see…”

“Right, my turn!” Miyuki next. He lost five times.

“So? Sawamura and Furuya are in your class too right? Are they wearing something like that too?” Kuramochi asks, Miyuki flinches.

“Ah, yes… Furuya’s in the second-year classes while Sawamura’s in the first year classes. If you walk around the school, you might be able to see them!”

“Heeeh~” Kuramochi takes a peek at Miyuki’s face. “Let’s get going then.”

“Ah, Kanemaru let me take a picture of you.” Zono asks.

“WHY?!”

On the second years classes, a particular duo was attracting attention making the crowd pause or walk slowly when they see them.

“Free omurice with a heart.” Haruichi had already one on the first try against Furuya.

“Congratulations.” Furuya calmly praises. “Then… I’ll go search for the others.” “Ah, Furuya, you can’t just approach people you know… there are visitors and others too.” Haruichi reminds.

“Mhm” The taller one nods.

“Ah there they are!” Kuramochi spots them easily.

“What a sight.” Miyuki acknowledges. “You guys a couple or something?”

“Hm?” Both of their heads turn to the Senpais.

Furuya with his princess themed costume was gorgeous, standing next to him was the adorable Haruichi wearing a striking vampire costume. The costumes were both very formal that made them seem like they were out of fairy tale book, adding in their looks, they made everyone’s head turn.

“Ah Miyuki-senpai, Kuramochi-senpai, hello.” Furuya greets. “What are you doing here?”

“What’s with you, asking like that. Well, we’re errand boys now so we’re on our way to the nearest store.” Kuramochi answers.

“Ah… I thought you were another one of the third years who lost to Kanemaru and wanted to challenge me.”

“Was it Zono? It was Zono wasn’t it?” Miyuki commented. “Well, if it’s allowed, let me try again.”

Kuramochi won a free yakisoba with Neko heart.

Miyuki lost five times.

“You suck at this. What are you even good at besides baseball?”

“Shut up!” Miyuki attacks. “What’s with you always winning anyway?”

“AHAHAHAHAHA! It’s my win again!” Sawamura brags. “Okay, here a treat.” The candy was accepted by a shy first year who nods with a blush on his face. “…thank you, Senpai.”

“Ah, me next!”

“I’d like to try too.”

“Can I try again?”

First years and visitors had been lining up and crowding around Sawamura the moment he patrolled around the hallway. The job was perfect for him, a loud voice, his first challenger made him appear approachable in an instant despite being a senpai.

“Is that Sawamura-senpai?” Seto notices.

“It should be, you can tell quickly from the voice.” Yui joins in. The two had run into each other while looking around the festival, it was their free time. They both wore regular uniforms as they only worked behind the scenes.

“He sure is loud anywhere, but I can’t really see him thanks to the crowd.”

“He’s properly surrounded, isn’t he?”

“I wonder if he’ll notice us.”

“If Yuki was here maybe he would, he’s tall and also easy to spot.”

The two were merely watching from the distance. “Ah! It’s Yuki!” Yui notices, Yuki was on the other side of the crowd from the two other first years. From the left, it was him standing, a crowd of visitors and first years with Sawamura in the middle, then Yui and Seto. He was stuck.

“Looks like he’s trying to get here…” Seto notices from his face.

“Well… he must be trying to get back to our classroom…” Which was in the direction behind Yui and Seto.

“He can just go around and-“

“Oh! Young Master’s little brother!” Sawamura finally comes into view as he approached Yuki. “Though he’s bigger than his big brother! AHAHA”

“Ah- Neko Maid?“ Seto starts.

“It suits him.”

“Yeah… it surprisingly suits him.”

“Ah, the crowd is dispersing a bit, I think we can get closer.” Yui starts walking.

“Mhm, you can go ahead. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay, then..” Yui heads to where Yuki and Sawamura where while Seto heads to another classroom.

“AHAHA! One more chance! This is the last one!” Sawamura announces after winning against Yuki for two times. “JAN KEN PON!”

“Yosh! It’s my win!” Sawamura cheers. “Just how much do you suck at this?!”

Yuki receives another candy.

“Sawamura-senpai, Yuki wasn’t really asking for another round of Janken though…” Yui reminds again.

“Huh? The prizes are amazing though! Yosh! JAN KEN PON!” Sawamura sudden attack on Yui.

“EH? I’m not ready-“ Yui stutters. “Ah… it’s my win.”

“How amazing Yui-shounen! Okay, you get to try your luck again with this!” He hands over the neck pouch.

“Yes… ah free Katsudon set meal! Is this okay? To give a prize like this?”

Normally, it’d be free pudding? “THAT’S!!! That’s a special prize! There’s only three of those in there! YOSH!” Sawamura and the other two were given three of those in their pouches and whenever someone won it, they had to-

“YOSH! Neko dance time! As much as I’m embarrassed about it! A job is a job!”

And so second year Sawamura Eijun started to twirl with his hands imitating the paw of a cat while singing nyan nyan nyan in the cutest way possible.

After it was done. “THAT WAS MORE EMBARRASSING THAN I THOUGHT!” His face was flushed.

No way I would be able to do that if it was with the Third years. Goodbye my oh so cool Senpai reputation!

“Ah.. thank you for your hard work senpai haha” Yui was an understanding good boy. “Hm?”

Yuki had been staring at the set coupon Yui won. *GROWWWWL*

“Ah, do you want it?” Yui hands it over. “You can have it.” Yui was a very understanding good boy.

As the three fooled around there were now a new set of eyes eagerly watching.

Is this why he took over my shift?

The wolf boy had been called out by Seto to see what was going on, luckily Seto had some friends in his class and asked to take over Okumura’s shift for him as a waiter.

Why do I have to see this?

Seto probably wanted for them to get closer.

This has nothing to do with baseball. Maybe he’d be more comfortable with me as his catcher if we become close outside of baseball too? Was he not comfortable with me from the start? Was there any implication he didn’t want me to catch for him? Is it because I’m not as Miyuki-senpai?

No, is it because he’s not as comfortable with me compared to how he is with Miyuki-senpai? Is that part of what art he was talking about before? This has nothing to do with baseball. I have work to do and Seto is working for my sake. Was I making him uncomfortable somehow? Wouldn’t it be trouble if he suddenly closes his heart on me in a game? Isn’t that unprofessional? -

After a long and silent debate in his head, he headed back to his classroom.

“Wolf-boy!”

He noticed me…

“That serious face is stuck on you no matter what occasion! No way I couldn’t notice you.” Sawamura walked with high spirits toward the first year. “You also had a weird aura around you earlier…”

“I was thinking about something…” Okumura, with Sawamura now in front of him, was eyeing him from up to down.

“You getting ready for war?” Sawamura commented.

He should really learn to listen.

“Ah, the outfit?” Sawamura looked down to his attire. “HOW IS IT! I’ve been told it looks good on me! Surprisingly!” He did a twirl for the first year with his black long dress fluttering in the air.

What am I supposed to say?

“Ahaha, Sawamura-senpai actually did a twirl. He’s working hard, isn’t he?” Yui praised.

“Ah, it doesn’t look bad.” Okumura added.

“Is that a complement or an insult?” Sawamura points to Okumura. “I don’t know!”

“Refrain from pointing at me, please.”

Around the same time Sawamura started talking to Okumura.

“Mhm? Is that…” Kuramochi noticed.

“Mhm?” Miyuki halted.

“You can’t really see him but you can tell just by the voice.”

“Haha! I guess so!” Miyuki snickered. “Let’s have a quick look- Ah!”

“Oy! We don’t have time! We have errands. Did you forget?” Kuramochi stops him.

“Eh? Just a minute or so is fine, right?”

“We wasted too much time with you losing Janken against the others! Don’t tell me you’re planning on losing five time against Sawamura too?” Kuramochi reminded. “Just how much do you want a free pudding?”

“Huh? That’s not what I-“ Miyuki started.

“Errands? That’s not good of you Miyuki-kun, are you that excited to see what cosplay Sawamura is wearing?”

“Hm?!”

“Ryo-san!”

“Yah! Long time no see.” Kominato Ryo greeted, behind him were other alumnus, Yuki Tatsuya, Isashiki Jun, Masuko Toru, and Takigawa Chris. To be continued...

#miyusawa #fanfic

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arcanawildcard · 4 years

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Maybe it's been posted before. But would love to see if you could do a jealous Ann. Doesn't matter the girl that she's jealous over Akira. Just love how you write her internal thought process in your stories. It's very much how I imagine Ann to be

taking requests here! (be prepared for a wait tho orz)

read on ao3

The girl was… cute. Ann could give her that. Maybe not model cute—(what happened to ‘just about anyone can be a model if they work hard enough’? a voice that could have been Carmen or could have been Shiho snarked in the back of her mind)—but cute.

Big brown eyes and a pert mouth to go with gyaru-bronzed skin and way too many accessories (seriously, who’d told her that was a good idea?), a high-pitched titter and too many teeth in her smile to qualify as attractive, and her thighs could really use some toning if she was going to show them off that much, but her brown hair was workable if she wanted to put work into it—

Ugh.

She sounded like Mika right now.

Not that there was anything wrong with Mika—(you have an admirable capacity for forgiveness, but there are plenty of things wrong with Mika, said a voice in the back of her head that was definitely Carmen)—but this was one way that she seriously didn’t want to emulate a sharky businesswoman with a hypercritical eye for anything and everything female in her vicinity.

But.

That titter was over something really dumb Akira had said, and that brown hair was being twirled around her finger as she batted her fake eyelashes at him and posed like a— like a—

…Posed like she like-liked him.

The girl was throwing out every signal in the book that she was interested and available, and all those signals were aimed right at Akira.

That was bound to happen at some point, right? She’d just been taking for granted that the whole school hated him (god, what a thing to take for granted; she was the worst), but he really was incredibly cute if you took the time to look past the creepy glasses shine thing, and he had a gorgeous voice when he took the time to speak up, and she’d never forget that first day when he chased her, an almost complete stranger in the middle of a breakdown, down and made her tell him what was wrong.

So now someone had realized what a hidden treasure he was, and Ann…

—Well, for definitions of realized. Did this girl really care about him, or did she just think he was hot?

Ann’s money was on the second.

(And, shamefully, that thought was a comfort. What kind of person was she to feel better about someone not loving one of her closest friends like he deserved?)

And Ann didn’t know how to deal with that. Didn’t know how to deal with one single first year gyaru making eyes at her best friend.

Ann’s best friend. Ann’s.

She didn’t even know why this was something that had to be ‘dealt with’! Akira was finally getting the recognition he should have had all along, and Ann should be—happy. Relieved. Giggly.

She should think this was cute.

It really wasn’t cute.

She felt sick to her stomach, sad and irritated for no good reason, and the girl’s titter was turning into a full-blown laugh and Akira was almost smiling and—

Ann stood up, leaving her lunch half-eaten on her desk, and left by the far door.

—|—|—|—|—

Her name was Anri. It was spelled with the same kanji as Ann’s name.

This was the first, only, and weirdest time she’d ever wanted to tell someone to change their name—and maybe switch schools or flee the country while they were at it.

It wasn’t fair. She knew it wasn’t fair. Anri hadn’t done a single thing wrong except smile at Akira just a little too wide, and yet whenever Ann thought about her for too long, her hands started itching for her whip, half-hating herself for hoping she was interrupting something when she texted Akira reminders about the Metaverse, praying that he’d give her something to hit.

She’d gotten too used to violence. That was the main problem here.

(It wasn’t the main problem at all. She just couldn’t manage to put a pin in what was. This irrational hatred of Akira’s new friend wasn’t doing anyone any favors, so why was it still here?)

Her dislike wasn’t even mutual. Anri was perfectly happy to nod to her in the hallways, greeting her with an easy hey there, Takamaki-senpai! each time.

Ann wished she wouldn’t. There was only so much guilt she could take here.

It was about two weeks into this that Anri failed to acknowledge her presence—something Ann would have been relieved about (if Anri didn’t notice her, then she was under no obligation to notice Anri) if Anri wasn’t blushing and grinning and she couldn’t hear Ryuji talking with someone (Akira) up the next flight of stairs.

“Told you she liked ya, dude.”

Ann froze halfway to the next stairwell.

If Akira replied, it was too quiet for her to hear, and Ryuji went on, “So? You gonna ask her out?”

She caught the fainted wisp of a neutral hum, and her stomach clenched. He had to know. He had to. She couldn’t live in suspense like this.

Dryly, lower, Ryuji added, “You know this is the closest you’re ever gonna get to dating Ann.”

…What?

Her veins turned to fire and ice and electricity all at once, stomach twisting hard—

“Ha.”

It was a humorless kind of noise, an acknowledgement of the joke, an agreement by way of not being a disagreement, and Ann wanted to charge up there and demand answers, wanted to throw something, wanted to be sick—

Just… what?

Closest he’d get to dating—

Well, it wasn’t… wrong, exactly, but why would that even come into the equation—

Closest he’s ever get to dating Ann.

Because Anri liked him and Ann… didn’t…

But Akira— why would Akira even care?

Akira… cared.

Ryuji wouldn’t have made that joke and Akira wouldn’t have responded like that if he didn’t care.

You know this is the closest you’re ever gonna get to dating Ann.

Ha.

Ann turned on her heel and headed back down the stairs. There was no way she could face him in class right now. Skipping hadn’t been on her to-do list, but it was now.

—|—|—|—|—

She was getting water at approximately 2:15 A.M. when three things abruptly occurred to her.

First: if anyone else had been in this mess and told her that they felt the way she did about it, the first thing out of her mouth would have been, oh, you’re in love with him.

Second: she’d been assuming that this thing she was feeling now was somehow fundamentally different from what it would be for anyone else.

Third: it wasn’t.

—|—|—|—|—

Going to school with that particular revelation spinning through her head was pretty wild.

How long—how long—had she been keeping her from thinking about him like that? Now that the floodgates were open, she couldn’t escape it.

All those cut-off thoughts about the shape of his mouth were completing themselves. All those banished fantasies of being in his arms were sitting implacably at the forefront of her mind. All those nights of laughing at herself for getting off thinking about him—and how she’d never let herself imagine kissing him through it—came crashing back.

She spent the entire first half of the day burying her burning face in her notes, unable to escape the knowledge that he was right behind her, just there while she couldn’t stop thinking about kissing him and touching him and… doing things with him, and oh geez, this was way too awkward.

She wanted, she wanted, she wanted so much. Wanted him. Everything he could give over to her, she wanted it.

(Whatever she could give in return was his already, wasn’t it.)

Lunch came, and with it came Anri. forever decorated, forever cheerful, forever getting way too close to someone Ann hadn’t realized she wanted almost since she met him.

“He-yo,” she singsonged as she slapped her hands down on the edge of Akira’s desk. “Guess who jus’ scored two tix to the aquarium! Wan’ come with?”

The requisite beat passed while Akira thought about it, then he said, “Sounds like fun.”

Anri squealed

Ann stared blankly down at her lunch, finally, finally, finally having a name for that emotion making unhappy knots out of her gut.

Jealousy.

She was so jealous she wanted to die.

Or make something else die. Either would work.

“So Saturday’s good, right? Swee-eet!”

“Heh.”

“Hey, Takamaki-san!” Anri leaned over into Ann’s peripheral vision. “…You okay?”

Ann found it in herself to nod.

“…’Kay.” Then, much chirpier, “See you Saturday, sweetcake!”

Once she left, silence reigned for a long moment.

Surprisingly enough, it was Akira that broke it.

“…Let’s go to the roof.”

Sensing the incoming interrogation but unable to find her voice, Ann just nodded again.

—|—|—|—|—

They stood by the fence overlooking the school, Akira waiting in silence for her to start.

She had no idea how to start.

“You’re upset,” he eventually prompted.

She nodded.

“What’s wrong?”

She curled her fingers in the wire mesh and said, “Are… are you really dating her because— because she’s the closest you’ll get to… dating—” She swallowed against the tight lump in her throat. “—dating me?”

“…Ah.”

Ann waited.

“You heard that.”

“Uh-huh.” Agh, why did her voice come out so small?

“Ryuji’s an idiot.” But you didn’t disagree. “I’m not dating her.” You agreed to go out with her just the two of you, though. “You’re different people.”

…And yet.

“Mm…” Why were there tears stinging her eyes? “I don’t… want you to go out with… with a replacement for me.”

“That would be pretty awkward,” he agreed cautiously. She could feel his stare boring into the side of her head. “She’s not a replacement.”

It was close enough to a defense of Anri that tears coalesced in the corners of her eyes, and Akira inhaled a sharp breath.

“I don’t… I don’t…”

She didn’t have the first clue how to finish that sentence, but it didn’t matter; Akira took one step away from the fence, two steps towards her, pulled her close and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“…Ann?”

“I love you,” she ended up confessing to his shoulder, and Akira froze. “Really, really love you. And if you really wanna go out with her, that… would really, really suck.”

He let out a quiet, half-stunned laugh.

“I don’t know what to do with this,” she said, which might be the real crux of the problem now. “I just… wanted you to know.”

“…Oh.”

The silence was back for a total of two seconds, and then Ann’s face started to burn with a vengeance, a high-pitched whine forcing its way out of her throat.

“…I can’t believe i said that,” she half whimpered, half groaned. “Who just says that? So. Embarrassing…” She buried her face into his shoulder and let out a mortified whine.

“Said… you love me,” he checked, amused and almost breathless.

That was even more embarrassing to hear repeated back to her. And why did he need to check anyway? Didn’t he believe her?

She jerked back look him in the eye and—oh geez that was so close so close so close—blurted, “W-well I do! I really do! I won’t take that back! Not ever! I-I love you!”

“You love me,” he repeated, even more amused and definitely teasing, this asshole…!

“I do!” she snapped.

Her declaration rang between them for one single second, and then something something flashed in his eyes and his lips were on hers, his glasses digging weirdly into her nose one hand coming up to cup the back of her head and—

It wasn’t anything like what she was expecting.

It didn’t taste like sugar, but it sang through her mind like it. She wasn’t seeing fireworks, but her blood was crackling like they were inside her. Everything everywhere was pressure and sultry heat and need that was sated just as fast as it grew and grew and grew.

The wire mesh dug into her back through her clothes and into her scalp through nothing, only adding into the overload of sensation as he pressed her into it with his entire body, a knee between her trembling legs and a hand crumpling her thin jacket as it roamed up her side, and if she was going to turn into an electrified puddle on the spot, then no one could blame her.

For all that she was trying not to make too much noise, he seemed to be having a similar problem—subsonic groans and tight sighs making her knees even weaker, the perfect counterpoint to the little gasps she couldn’t restrain and the clicky noises of tongues and lips and mouths.

It was deep and wet and hot and even Akira looked kind of stunned when they drew apart.

“Eep!”

That… had not come from either of them.

Ann glanced over Akira’s shoulder and found Anri standing at the door to the stairwell with a very strange expression on her face.

“A-A-Akira-senpai! I, ah, one o’ my friends said ya could be found on the roof, an’ um! Hey, let’s jus’ f-forget about the aquarium, yeah?” Her voice cracked pathetically on the last word, and she abruptly turned on her heel. “Y-yeah.”

“…Yeah,” Akira echoed dumbly, glazed out and confused.

Anri slammed the door behind her so hard it rattled on its hinges.

Ann felt distinctly less guilty that she should have.

He slowly turned to look at her, befuddled frown deepening at her squirmy grin. “You look happy.”

She giggled sheepishly. She did feel a little guilty—just not enough, you know? “That means you’re just mine, right?”

She could feel the response through his whole body, he was still so close, his every muscle relaxing a little.

“Always,” he promised fervently, then kissed her before she could finish beaming over it.

—|—|—|—|—

It was a pretty satisfying long while before they discovered that Anri had locked the door on them.

#anon #shuann #akirann #renann #ann takamaki #takamaki ann #akira kurusu #kurusu akira #ren amamiya #amamiya ren #persona 5 #p5

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atinytokki · 4 years

Text

Here’s my first impressions (aka this is what 2020 is gonna sound like folks)

Alright so I’m really behind today, as some of you know I literally just got back from vacation and it’s also my first day of classes this semester and it’s just craziness. Yes I’m posting the first chapter of Yeosang’s spin-off today. But people seemed to like my first impressions of the last album so I’m going to do them again. Thankfully (?) this album is a lot shorter so I can pause and talk about stuff.

Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying. Keysmashes included.

Post-MV thoughts before I listen to it again: There’s way too much to focus on and I’ve watched it many many times to look at the choreo and the storyline stuff that’s happening, but this is my first time listening without the video so I’ll notice more musically this time. But first I wanna say; YEOSANG’S LINES!!!! I’ve been screaming for forever that he has a beautiful deep voice and needs to be given parts that compliment it. And wow it finally happened :’) Anyway here we gooo

건배하자 like a thunder!! Can you believe they literally spoiled the entire hook of their next song in Beginning of the End? *flashbacks to my utter confusion when that happened* San sounds amazing and I like the little echoey thingies. Gives it a real nostalgic feel. Jongho already popping off vocally barely 10 seconds in. Mingi’s rap here and the transition to Hongjoong’s— rap line goals. The attitude in that mm-mm made me smile ngl. This prechorus might be my favourite part of the song. Seonghwa sounds heavenly. An EDM drop bringing back that hook, good decision and again it kinda feels nostalgic?? Especially the oh-oh-ohs which are also giving me a pirate drinking song vibe wow 0.0 Wooyoung with that 불러 불러 lol. Yes the Yeosang part!! I love a good post-chorus switchup and he. handled. it. perfectly. There’s even harmony, yall know how much I love harmony. And SINGING RAPPERS AHAHDJAHAK YESSSSS. Back to that glorious prechorus but it’s Yunho’s turn. This chorus is just such an anthem. I’m bopping rn. San in this bridge— he said I am a VOCALIST listen to my beautiful VOICE. Yay the rappers going back and forth again!! It’s like If Without You. Man I can’t believe I get to replay this song forever. 2020 is gonna be lit. You hit those notes Jongho! I’m always blown away by this kid, and that scoop earlier mmmm. Just nodding very energetically right now. Perfect end to the song. 100/10!!!!

Okay I’m pausing before the next one starts because no I am not prepared. It’s just like last time; I know Hongjoong wrote this and I know it’s gonna ruin me but I have no idea how and when and what it’s even gonna be like but anyway, too bad, let’s just go.

Oh kinda futuristic sounding opening with the synths? Yooo the vocal thingy in the background, sounds like a sample of some kind, that is super cool and I hope we get more of it. Ok I paused just to write that, let me unpause. This is gonna be a long one, I can already tell, sorry guys 😅 And the beat changed right before the vocalists came in. definitely a back and forth thing here in two registers, very sweet. Wow. WOW MINGI WOW. This rap is?? It sounds super mature and idk just full of confidence. I’m shook. Ok the chorus. Holy cow this is LIT lit. Nope nope I need to pause and go back. This is so chaotic, I feel like I’m missing things?? I’m listening to that chorus again because there were so many elements there. I just wanna take this song and break it down second by second to hear every single sound hahahah. I’m only catching an odd word or two here as far as lyrics go. Oml harmonies 💆🏻‍♀️ Alright Hongjoong’s rap. OMG if he sounded sassy in Answer this is a whole new level and I LOVE IT. Flow is 100/10. The “are you gonna take me there” gives me chills. This song needs a dance this chorus is TOO LIT. Am I at a rave rn??? Oh thank God the bridge took it back a level. Ok I’m pausing because I think I caught some of the lyrics this time. If I’m not wrong I heard 난 궁금해 저 끝이 궁금해, 더 가까이 조금 더 가까이 ? Which is something like “I wonder, I wonder about the end. Closer, a little bit closer” if I heard correctly. I need to look up the lyrics in full later because Hongjoong has a big brain and his lyrics are always 🤯🤩 Ok unpause. Final breakdown! Yep this is going on repeat the rest of today. Jongho yussss with the ad libs. No it’s over ㅠㅠ Alright this one is already vying for top spot this album. We shall see. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. HONGJOONG GENIUS.

Um so yeah I saw them perform this live for their anniversary thingy and cried so this should be fun. At least I already know the song so how much can it hurt me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Smart of whoever put this album together to stick this song right in the middle and make us cry between head banging to the other songs. Mingi in the beginning is just 💖💕💘💝💓 San ballad king. I need more ballads from him. Jongho, of course, with perfect vocal control. Oh Seonghwa too, I need more ballads from him. Wooyoung with T H A T part. A tear is forming, I just love this chorus. People are saying the song should be in a drama and I 100% agree. Everyone together FOREVER YOU ARE MY STARRR. The little drum frills it’s so cute :(( Yay Hongjoong, and his cute little voice I’m UWUWU. Wooyoung with the high note and I’m ascending........... Chorus again and this is the real meaning of crying in the club. It just occurred to me that the second verse seemed really short. Yeosang + Hongjoong + that guitar in the bridge is *chef’s kiss*. This is so emotional, do we really need to do this at 4am?!? I’m just gonna vibe for a sec, it’s the last chorus. The ad libs were so perfect and the way it ended— wow. I need a moment.

From my understanding this is a full version of the Precious Overture they gave us last album. Tempted to go back and see my first impressions about that one, but either way i have a distinct feeling my wig is about to be snatched. Let’s GOOO

So far, it’s starting the same. Creepy humming and all. Okay scratch that, we have a vocal melody. Yunho sounds great ugh I’m so proud. Sorry, San’s voice just takes me to another plane of existence or something, how can it be that smooth and gorgeous, someone please explain. Building to something now... Oo. OO?! Hongjoong’s rapping. This is so cool oh wow, and into this vocal part which I believe is the chorus?? wOW wow it’s amazing to hear this having already heard the bgm, this is like a new level of appreciation. It really all goes well. Ah we have a switch up now with Seonghwa. guys GUYS GUYS you know how I feel about switch ups. Sorry I’m going back to catch something. The tempo changed here and really grabbed my attention. The bass is also super cool, it’s actually the same melody as the treasure opening (and the opening of this song) but much lower, I believe. Uh oh guys this might be vying for top spot too. Let’s continue. Ok Mingi’s rap which I’ve already heard. Um I’m confused now. It’s Hongjoong’s rap again? Is this the chorus?? Woah woah hold on I gotta pause. Because. Wait, what?? This is the chorus??!? Yoooooooo bold move! I have no idea what is going on but I love it. Continuing on. Ah yeah ok the vocal part with Yeosang again, so I guess the rap + vocal part is the chorus? Also I neglected to mention but Yeosang is killing this song. Ooh okay this bridge is building some suspense. Feeeelingggggg.... And now a shouted version of the rap for the final chorus. Okay wow I’m impressed that they took it this direction. And Jongho with the ad libs is PERFECTIONNNN. Oop okay they’ve added the revised-lyric Treasure part to the end here. And the lyrics are the same as in Precious (Overture) so I’m guessing we still didn’t find the treasure, good grief. How long is it gonna take to find this treasure 😅. And it ended like that. Well. WOW. Again, I could listen to this on repeat all day. Again, I am deceased. Instant fave.

I’m pretty sure this is the exact same as I already heard on the trailer thingy but we are gonna react to it anyway.

The orchestra really loosens my tear ducts like nothing else. It’s beautiful, who else is doing it like them?? “Did you find your treasure?” Yes, I found ATEEZ 🥺. The way he says “finally found it” . This is Maddox btw. Also about Maddox, hang on I’m gonna pause for a PSA: guys if you don’t know Maddox please PLEASE check him out. He’s doing the amazing narration on this (and Intro too), he’s a soloist under KQ and one of Ateez’s hyungs who they look up to. In addition to his superior narrating talents, he is also an amazing vocalist. If you like R&B and lo-fi music I would definitely recommend him, he just dropped a single called Color Blind, his insta is xxmaddox, he’s a great guy and YEAH that’s all for my plug but go stan him, he is deserving and proof of the fact that KQ artists are talent through and through. Unpausing! The way the orchestra swells and then goes into a piratey sounding theme is so motivating and familiar :))) “Can you hear those voices?” HNGJRKSNDN WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SCARY. This is the Epilogue, it’s supposed to be like the denouement, the falling action!! The bad guys should be gone now! What’s next?? Treasure Ep: Answer to Question? Because that’s what I have after this album! More questions!!! Anyway, the bass here and the humming 👌🏻 100/10 for the instrumental. And in ATEEZ fashion, they leave me thirsting for more.

So that was my first impression/live reaction to the mini album! I think it’s Horizon and Precious fighting for #1 currently. Maybe I’ll reblog with second and third and fourth impressions... Thanks for reading if you got this far! And tell me what your first impressions were and if I missed something big while I was keysmashing. TTFN~

#ateez #ateez action to answer #ateez answer #ateez reactions #ateez first impressions #first impressions #keysmash #liveblog #tokki.txt

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