#how can academic success be so important to me...

[misscammiedawn]

Legitimacy vs Selection Bias in Hypnosis

This has been on our mind a lot recently. It's mostly been sparked by the recent Mindless Banter podcast run by @theleeallure @enscenic and @hypno-sandwich where the three hosts spoke about how they dislike academic models of hypnosis and a recent post by @h-sleepingirl discussing why they herald hypnotic education.

One thing that is always going to be true about the advocates of our kink who have been involved with the community for a long time is that we are going to be experienced and capable hypnotists and/or hypnotees.

Likewise those who join and find themselves brought in to the fold tend to self-select; if a person is not able to find any success or joy in hypnosis because it's not working or they do not gel with the styles taught and practiced then they will not hang around.

This means that we have a functioning ecosystem of people who know the lingo, who are primed to react as they should and tend to have things work for them.

Which is great! It makes it so much easier to work out when everyone is on the same page.

But it also creates an insular community.

I've written before on why the insular nature of our community worries me.

One of the lines I wrote in that post was this

One of the big differences between the online erotic hypnosis community and the NGH (National Guild of Hypnotists) who rue our existence is that we do not require legitimacy to function when they themselves exist in a half-truth state where when receiving both of my certifications it was impressed that we needed to perform an uneasy dance of providing services without practicing medicine because hypnotherapy is not licensed psychology in the same was that chiropractors are not performing medicine.

Legitimacy is the idea of taking what we do, what we are, what we believe and what we practice and trying to make it valid to those outside of the community. It's performing studies, it's building a framework of hard rules, it's about pretending that we understand how the brain works beyond the anecdotal evidence that we witness it every day within our corners and communities.

Fact is, hypnosis is a malleable and belief-based practice that rests right in the middle between faith and science. As mentioned in the above linked post, trance can be detected on an EEG:

Source

Our last post on this topic just spoke about accepting that we exist in a soft science where what we believe, how we approach our beliefs and what ideas we allow to take root in our minds will have a firm impact on how the minds of the hypnotists and hypnotees we interact with.

Today I want to talk about why keeping the education and the science involved in the conversation is important.

Because, like the Mindless Banter crew, I have reached the point of my career in hypnoplay where should Dawn wish to induce a trance she need only find a partner, lay out what will happen and perform. The rest of it just happens.

Once you reach a level of confidence and community, it pretty much takes care of itself. The interaction between a hypnotist and a person who has never experienced trance before and the interaction between a hypnotist and an enthusiast will play out differently.

What I mean by this is if Dawn is approached in DM by someone who wants a session she will be able to pick up a number of tells without even noticing it on their confidence and experience. Someone shy, unsure and untrained will not dive straight in. Which makes the encounter less likely and even if it does happen it comes from the power dynamic of a teacher and student rather than two enthusiasts going to town.

This is normal and it's not a bad thing. It just means that the typical educator in the hypnokink community is typically aware of the "weight class" of their hypnotees which paints their expectations of how things will go and allows for a line between the way hypnosis is taught in 101 and how it is practiced in enthusiast circles.

It's why Progressive Muscle Relaxation is something which gets scoffed at a lot in our circles. The typical enthusiast does not need to spend 20 minutes on an induction when their typical partner is someone they can hold the shoulders of, stare at with intent and give permission for the hypnotee to drop.

That isn't to say that experienced hypnotists only play with experienced hypnotees. It just means that the majority of the play from those who educate does not match the material that we teach to beginners. Not a bad thing.

But it does breed this divide I mentioned. Between the experience of those who do this all the time and what is "academic".

So, besides helping new people into the community or playing in pure theoretical space, why must we keep the academic approach involved?

Well, first... the science does inform what we do. Yes, a lot of this is based on belief but there is a large amount of the science which is just fact no matter what we do. The neuroplasticity of traumatized brains is a topic we type about a lot given our dissociative disorder. I mentioned in my Dissociative Disorders and Hypnosis post that there are multiple studies that there's a higher hypnotic suggestibility in those with conditions that include dissociation as a symptom. The fact that this was being taught in a 101 class was why I made that post to begin with.

From my Mind Makes It Real post I mentioned that we need to be aware of the truths to keep ourselves in check. We should always be wondering "am I wrong?" about everything and the moment one lets go of the academic framework and commits to the loose ethos of "it just works" you lose a little bit of that footing and external perspective. We're an insular community and there's an element of "the popular ideas win out", not to stress a point too much but the whole hatred of the progressive muscle relaxation induction is a good example of this. I know a few community leaders who reflexively rant any time they hear it. These people have the ability to control the con schedule. They teach classes and part of their lesson is their personal disdain for that approach. This goes into the minds of those who were taught by that person and becomes part of the internal dogma. Suddenly you have a situation where a minority of people in the community need to defend the PMR.

I do not actually care too much about PMR but it really is one of the most accessible entry level trances and the disdain for it is a little gatekeepy, if I am being honest. I don't think any individual means for it to be something they keep out of the community but enough individuals following a trend creates a community concept, a widely held belief.

And hypnosis is entirely about widely held beliefs. Thus it is now a fact that PMR is boring and ineffective and there's more fun ways to do trance. That is an example, hopefully one that is understandable to an audience who are also into hypnokink (apologies to my non-hypnosis Tumblr followers, I hope if you're reading this you enjoy this peak into a little internet sub-culture).

Which brings me to legitimacy.

Do we really need it?

Hypnosis is both science and fantasy. A person attending a hypnokink convention could treat hypnosis with the technical skill and care that one would approach as roleplay, learning all of the different terms and all of the safety procedures and treating it as a psychological version of what can be physically observed.

But you may also have someone who treats hypnosis as roleplay and improv with a framework not too dissimilar from a tabletop sourcebook for D/s shenanigans that they can learn and play within much the same as a D&D player can switch to World of Darkness. I guarantee there are a large number of people in the hypnosis community who do this and they're not wrong for doing it.

But as I mentioned above. Hypnosis is a scientifically observable phenomenon and it is dangerous if abused. Heaven knows I know that more than most. One must not believe in the dangers for them to be real. An immature hypnotist is a danger to a hypnotee regardless of if they think they are roleplaying or performing edgeplay. And the same is true for a hypnotee, too. If one believes it's all roleplay then their limits and safety will be at a different level than someone who is aware of the risks.

One need only look to the dark corners of our community where covert hypnosis is practiced eagerly, recruitment is a game and personality erasure is an aesthetic to know that there are uncomfortably large swaths who are practicing hypnosis from the perspective of fantasy. I do not want to pull out the news articles about how Disney Deer brainwashing ruined people's lives again.

The good news is that within the educator/convention going portion of the community we do teach this stuff. We do make everything clear. We're not currently in a community where academic approaches are shrugged off.

But it makes me uncomfortable when experienced educators in the community forget how far their words reach and dismiss the academic for the sake of "what works".

We do not need to seek legitimacy for the eyes of those outside of the community. We do not Demand To Be Taken Seriously. We have a community where people are welcome to join or not join. We do not need external legitimacy.

But we need internal legitimacy.

We need the people who practice within our care to know that they're practicing with dangerous tools that can and will mess a person up if treated without proper care.

Safety and education require we keep room for the academic and seek to legitimize what we do or those who look at hypnosis as pure fantasy will not be able to recognize the risk.

At least, that's my opinion.

-

For more of our ramblings on hypnosis and the hypnosis community, please check out our Hypnokink Writing tag for other bits of education and commentary like this <3

#camden posting #hypnokink #hypnokink writings #hypnosis #hypnosis community

[andr0medafallen]

Sometimes I'm like "Damn, Elliot, why do you have absolutely zero of your shit together?" and then I remember that I'm 19 years old and will be a junior at university in one month starting her undergraduate research in which her name will be the first listed, and also that I pay my bills and have a 3.8 gpa and think that maybe i'm doing okay.

#damn girl... take a chill pill you're doing fine #like how do i even think i'm a failure #in these conditions? #calm down bestie lmao #like maybe you can't regulate your emotions but you can regulate your grades and at least that's something #to be clear i don't think that academic success is the most important success at all #but it's the only kind i have cause i'm super depressed and crazy and date around a lot and listen to soccer mommy and think about-- #--sylvia plath daily #so lol #anyways #my film textbook mentioned Oscar Isaac lmao #also i think i may regret accepting this invitation to this taco party #but at the same time i kind of want to kiss the guy that invited me #even though he's a terrible dancer #it's a forgivable sin #as long as he's a good kisser #which i suppose we might find out #also scout if you're reading this it isn't math guy i am trying to ignore my crush on math guy #just like i ignored him when i saw him in the student union building today--- #in my defense he was sitting in a large-ass group of people i know and one of his friends is this mustached blonde guy whose--- #--cowboy vibes are intimidating. major cowboy vibes. not in a bad way though. I am kind of jealous of that man's cowboy vibes #i wish i had cowboy vibes likes that

[surftrips]

HEADCANONS — FLIRTY ACADEMIC RIVALS w/ CORIOLANUS SNOW

you're not sure when the rivalry started, but for as long as you could remember, you were always sat next to coriolanus snow in class, whether by assignment or choice. neither of you actually hated the other, it was more a friendly competition born out of your strong feelings for each other that neither of you trusted yourselves with, so you resorted to teasing and playful mockery.

both of you care very much about your academics, snow on his way to win the plinth prize, and you, eager to impress your parents and secure a job in the capitol. when you put two highly ambitious and motivated students next to each other, it was no wonder you were always top of your classes. some people called you the power couple, but you denied the latter half of that term.

"where's your little boyfriend?" sejanus had asked one day. "how many times do i have to tell you, he's not my boyfriend!" you responded. "tell me then, why haven't either of you dated anyone?"

the easy answer to that question, and the one you always resorted to was that you simply had no time for dating right now. never mind the fact that you've been using that excuse for your whole life.

corio, on the other hand, never denied the dating rumors. not because there was any truth to them, but more so to annoy you. "corio, did you tell professor crane we were going to formal together?" "yes, what's wrong?" he feigned innocence. "what's wrong? you told him we were going together! as in boyfriend girlfriend!" "i still don't see the issue."

most days, he drove you crazy. and he probably wasn't even aware of his affect on you. shoulders touching when reading a textbook together, quickly pulling away his hand when your fingers went to turn the page at the same time, pretending not to be flustered on the rare occasion he gave you a compliment.

other times, it was nice to have him sat by your side. for example, the nights when you stayed up late studying often led to you dozing off in class, leaning on corio's shoulder until he gently nudged you off, "hey, sleepyhead. what time did you go to sleep?" he would tease.

the best classes were the ones you took with a professor that you both mutually hated— you could hardly control your laughter when he whispered a remark in your ear, or the shivers that he sent down your spine from being in such close proximity to you.

one time, he found you hiding in a corner of the library after receiving a particularly bad grade on a test. you had abruptly left him in the hallway, claiming that you had an "important phone call" to take, but of course, he knew you well enough to know that something was wrong and you needed space. thirty minutes later, he was pulling you off the floor and taking you out to ice cream.

"my girl," he said, wiping off your tear-stained cheeks. "what can i do to make you feel better?" you had wanted to kiss him right then and there, to resolve the tension between you two once and for all, but you didn't want your first kiss to be under these circumstances.

life in the capitol was not as glamorous as everyone else made it out to be. you faced an immense pressure to perform well, uphold the reputation of your family, and be successful, and most of the time you felt alone and exhausted. but coriolanus was always there for you, when things were good, and especially when things got bad.

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow imagine #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tom blyth #tom blyth x reader #coriolanus x reader

[pearlywritings]

A slip of the tongue

synopsis: as smart as Alhaitham is, sometimes he blurts out things without thinking twice. It's good, however, that your husband knows when an apology is due, even though it doesn't mean you (and your friend) won't come up with something to pay him back with~

pairing and characters: Alhaitham x fem!reader

tw: established relationship (marriage), little hurt/instant comfort, a bit suggestive, Kaveh is lowkey couple's marriage counselor

word count: 3.7k+ words

a/n: wow, finally releasing this one out of the basement!

Your cheek starts hurting from how long the knuckles of your fist have been digging into it. Fingertips drum on your knee, as legs stay crossed and stare fixed on the figure before you, sitting on the chair across the table and not taking the eyes off of the book pages. The most infuriating part of it? The figure is talking.

"...and so you should be prepared for Rajkumar's endless questions. He might not have any relation to Haravatat or languages at all, but he has a bone to pick with me, so being my wife puts you in a position to attack. And you know how annoying it is to converse with an idiot."

Yeah, probably as much as hearing what you are already aware of. You love your husband, you truly do, but sometimes the urge to smack the back of his head and tell him to shut up is too tempting.

All you said was that you were a little nervous and mentioned that tomorrow is indeed one of the most important days for you. After all, you are going to defend your second thesis, one you spent years to complete and pass all sorts of verification, reviews and censorship. Having the Scribe as your husband had both its perks and drawbacks in the process - he could easily push your work forward to the necessary people in charge of all the mentioned above stages of approbation, but then the fact he was your spouse put a label on you for those who were aware, and it said “Needs to be examined more thoroughly”. Though come to think of it, it’s pretty illogical.

Fortunately you never had troubles with that - after all your brain was in place, and both topics of your first and now current papers were innovative. Moreso, many of your Haravatat professors agree on your academic success and some of them expressed their hope to see you in the role of their colleague in the future.

But it’s for the future. First you need to become the Dastur, and for that you need to defend your thesis in the present. You have absolutely everything ready, no one knows your topic better than you are (maybe only Alhaitham can come close, since he read and reread it multiple times, helping with editing and providing impartial perspective), and years at the Akademyia taught you how to withstand the piercing eyes and prickling words of the jury. You will be fine.

Or you thought so, before just one phrase of yours started this whole exchange that is now happening in your kitchen.

“...and remember the part in the third chapter we discussed with you. This will be the one they’ll claw at, since it’s a turning point in a whole theory and I heard some of them already criticizing it,” the male hums, turning another page, eyes scanning the words written on a yellowed from time piece of paper. This seems the last comment of his, as he falls silent, reaching for the cup of coffee you’ve made him - in the process of which you were short-sighted to voice your concern.

When a minute passes and you do not answer anyhow to any of the valuable advice he’s just given you, Alhaitham lowers his book and stares at you. You keep drumming your fingers on your knee, eyes boring into him and almost unblinking, and it’s not hard for such an observant man to notice a barely-veiled displeasure in your tired eyes and a scowl.

"You know you could've just said you are worried about tomorrow too, and leave it at that?"

Alhaitham blinks, hand frozen in the middle of lowering the mug back on the table. He is holding your gaze and you can practically see the thoughts running through his mind, he is clearly contemplating how to answer your bold statement.

“Why would I be worried?” He finally answers with a question on your own, putting the mug on the flat surface. “It’s just a thesis defense, and if you get rid of your nervousness you’ll see that you already have the Dastur title in your pocket. Tomorrow is just a formality for you.”

“So you are not coming to watch me tomorrow?” Your scowl and frown deepens, fingers stopping abusing your knee and curling in a fist instead. Your husband sighs, marking the page with a bookmark you’ve made for him and closing the volume he’s been on for the past week. Then his captivating eyes are back on you.

“Scribe isn’t required to attend. Besides-”

“Yeah, yeah, you know my work enough to not hear anything new in my presentation,” you interrupt him and he can clearly hear rising anger in your voice that wasn’t there before. It actually manages to shut him up. “As my husband, as my support, are you going to come?”

The man feels a twinge of guilt in his heart. He always prided himself of his intelligence and attentiveness, yet just now he failed to assume what exactly you expected of his presence. Of course he’d want to give you a peace of mind by being there, but it seems he is too used to uttering the same phrase every single time someone asks him to come, that it was out faster than he had a moment to think it over properly.

He sees a bit too late how your face drops when he doesn’t give you an answer immediately - it looks like his pause appeared to be hesitance to you. He slightly panics when you lower your gaze and move to uncross your legs to stand up, having an almost iron grip on the back of the chair.

“Wait- Dear, I will come,” at that your eyes flicker at him, with doubt on display in your beautiful orbs. “I promise, I’ll be there.”

“I thought you didn’t like to be around idiots the whole day,” you huff, crossing your arms, reminding him of how unflattering his words towards some of his colleagues were. You do not mean to act childish, but tomorrow is really important to you, and obviously you’d want to have your husband be there to share it with you.

Alhaitham puts the book aside and stands up as well, rounding the table and coming closer to you. His fingers deftly touch your elbow, and you will yourself not to jerk it, some annoyance still bubbling in your system.

“That is correct. However, you are not one of them,” he murmurs, caressing your arm. You huff again, but this time your posture is more relaxed. “Besides, all you need is to be confident, and if my presence can assure you that, then I’ll be more than happy to be there for you.”

You give him a long stare. Your drilling eyes to his bewitching ones, searching for the truth in the greenish depths, while he stands still, waiting patiently, expecting your verdict silently. It’s as your frown softens, he knows you’ve found what you’ve been looking for in this kind of staring contest.

“Maybe just as quick you are switching from fuming to forgiving,” his palms are warm as they slide up your arms, featherly resting on your shoulders. Your smile widens a little and you meet him in the middle when he leans to press his forehead to yours.

“Oh Archons, Alhaitham…” You shake your head with a small smile and the man feels relief washing over him. You are no longer mad at him. At least, it seems so. That is definitely good. “We’ve been married for years and it still surprises me how you can be a jerk - affectionately - one moment, and a completely sweet guy another.”

“Yeah, yeah… But to your credit you were quick to fix your attitude, and as long as it’s sincere, I am grateful.”

Or rather realizing when an apology is due.

“It is sincere,” he says with emphasis. “You know I am not the one to change my mind lightly.

You hum, content with his answer. Yet, a mischievous glint finds its place in your eyes.

“Even though you are forgiven, I am still complaining to Kaveh about the mean and heartless husband of mine.”

“Don’t worry, he won’t be glaring at you murderously. Much.”

“Of course you are,” he rolls his eyes, but you know it’s playful. He knows it too, and the shift in the mood is apparent, and he is thankful for its course to the positive destination. “I guess it’s deserved.”

Alhaitham only sighs at your giggles. He could care less of what the blond architect would say about him, so he’ll survive some annoyed buzzing from the senior, and if the little exchange which is about to occur makes you happy - he doesn’t mind. Plus it will be good for you to take your mind off of tomorrow.

“I’ll trust you on that,” he finally says, slowly leaning back. You smile, patting the back of his hand still resting on your shoulder in reassurance. With a promise to collect you from your ‘girlish talk’ (you swat his shoulder at that) in a couple of hours, your husband helps you to make a new pot of tea. It’s quite ironic that this one is gonna be emptied while he’s the main focus of the conversation.

Minutes later, when you leave the kitchen with a tray, Alhaitham can faintly hear the knocks on the other end of the house, and the door opening not a minute later, the voice of the man you two have been housing for months coming clear and concerned. Kaveh remained your friend even when he and Alhaitham got in a horrible fight over their beliefs and you were partially the reason why the Haravatat graduate was convinced to let the blonde stay. Though loud, flamboyant and snarky, there is some perks of having him around - even if the architect always complains how he didn’t sign up to be a marriage counselor, he’s never let you or your husband be in a conflict for long (fortunately it happened really rarely), being your shoulder to tear up on or begrudgingly becoming an ear to be talked of by the other man and the foot that would kick Alhaitham into action or the hand that would gently nudge you in the right direction.

Or, just like tonight, simply be ‘your girl’ to chat with.

Alhaitham, as promised, lets you be for a couple of hours, meanwhile busying himself with his book. To outsiders this scene may appear weird and paint the Scribe in an awful light as a husband - but it is just like that with this man. And the strange dynamic the three of you have while staying under one roof: a wife, a husband and their… loquacious canary-like-therapist.

Only when it’s close to the time you usually go to sleep, does he also end up before the door of Kaveh’s temporary room, and firmly knocks three times.

“What?” Unsurprisingly it's the blonde’s voice, and by the tone of it he is pissed. The ash-haired male chooses to ignore him.

“Darling, let’s go to bed,” he calls for you softly. 

Alhaitham hears shuffling and muffled curses the architect surely prepared for him and some short, but incomprehensible conversation happening between you two. Not a moment later though, the door opens revealing your face, and your husband can’t help but feel extra weight lifted off his shoulders. No line reappeared between your eyebrows, no pout and no distress is written on your face. Quite the contrary, when your eyes meet, you give him the same warm smile you graced him with back in the kitchen.

“Sure, let’s go. It’s quite late already and we need to wake up early tomorrow,” you hum, exiting the room. Through the gap Alhaitham spots Kaveh sitting over some blueprints with two mugs on the table and a chair placed on the opposite side of the fine piece of furniture. When the architect lifts his eyes to glare at him, the Scribe slams the door closed. To your bedroom you returned with arms linked.

The silence of your shared space is comforting and is only disturbed by your light steps and rustle of changed clothes. The Scribe glances at you every two minutes, still a tiny bit concerned about that animatic exchange you had back in the kitchen.

“You know I will come, right?” The man suddenly asks you, as you’re fluffing the pillows. Your eyes slightly widen for a brief moment, so quickly that he almost misses it, but then they soften again as you chuckle.

“Yes, I know, dear. Sorry I reacted the way I did initially. It seems I really was pent up after all.”

“I could tell. You looked like you could bite my head o- ow!” He gasps when you throw your pillow into his face, which he catches at the last second.

“Oh, shut it, or I might get mad again,” but there is no anger in your eyes, only hardly veiled mischief. He drops your weapon of choice back onto bed and raises his hands in defense.

“Okay, okay, point taken. Any way I can make it up to you?”

At that your eyes strangely glint, and the scholar can’t place his finger on what exactly feels off about it. But it does.

“Actually you can. I’d like you to wake me up when you do, and let me use the shower first.”

And that’s it? Well, odd, but not disturbingly odd. Surely you wouldn’t go as far as to play some pranks on him by mixing something in his shampoo - you are way too intelligent for that. Also not one for revenge. 

“Of course. I will wake you when I do so myself, and let you use the bathroom first.”

Even if the mornings are not Alhaitham’s forte, he still opens his eyes disgustingly early, so sleeping for a bit more while you are at your morning routine sounds nice. Not as nice as doing it with you in his arms, but still quite nice.

“Thank you, dear. Now, if you are going to read-”

“Not tonight. You need sleep,” to that you smile warmly, crawling under the blankets, which he is quick to follow. You do not deny his embrace, and willingly scoot closer, extending an arm to put around his waist, as he does the same. Nor you turn away from a kiss he places on your forehead, pecking his chin in response.

“Good night, Alhaitham.”

“Good night, Y/n.”

True to his word, your husband pulls you out of the dreamland just moments later after exiting it himself. Cerulean eyes drink in your sleepy face contorting in displeasure, arms reaching over your head, and body arching in a morning stretch. He can’t help himself, leaning close and pressing a kiss just above the hem of your chemise, relishing the feeling of your heart thumping against his lips. You yawn, reaching a hand into his hair, but your breath hitches, when his mouth is suddenly on your throat, peppering it with soft pecks.

“Mmm… If you are trying to make up for yesterday you are a bit late,” your groggy voice is so adorable to the man. With you he tends to forget how to rationalize things. Yesterday was one of the times when his ‘Alhaitham for anyone else but his wife’ slipped into his interaction with you, the behavior he’s been trying for years to suppress when it comes to you. Now he knows he should’ve acted differently, and regrets his unique way of trying to give you reassurance. If only he-

“Are you overthinking again?” 

Your question makes him emerge back to reality. Eyes meet, and his heart skips a beat when you smile at him. Archons, you are beautiful.

“You know I am joking? Yesterday was yesterday, and you are already making it up to me, right?”

Words can’t describe how much he loves you, and at this moment he feels like he’ll never be able to express it fully.

“Right. Shower is all yours. Also,” he leans in again, placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth, “good morning.”

Your smile gets wider and you wrap your arms around his frame to kiss his cheek.

“Morning, Haitham.”

With you gone to the shower, the man buries himself in your pillow, inhaling the lingering scent. Sometimes he thinks he doesn’t deserve you. Your husband is intelligent enough to evaluate his own deeds and behavior, so he knows he is far from perfect to be someone’s partner. Yet, here you are, loving and accepting all his flaws - not without some complaint, but you are trying.

He might come off as arrogant to some people, but in arguments with you, he can tell when it’s his fault and not blame you for giving him a cold shoulder and requesting some space. He might look like he doesn’t care, but he cares for you, for your well-being, for your likes and dislikes, for your opinion, carefully storing all this valuable information in his brain, to show how much you mean to him. He is aware he has a long road ahead of him to get rid of all of his annoying conversing habits, but he is willing to keep trying for you. He seems to not show gratitude to anyone, but he is so grateful that you remain by his side, going as far as telling him you are proud to be his wife.

He wants you to know that it’s mutual.

That being said, Alhaitham is a smart man, but when he himself exits the bathroom after his shower time, his brain is reduced to just one thought.

You are absolutely gorgeous.

His gaze is chained to your pretty fingers, rolling the long, dark green stocking up your left leg. His throat bobs, when the elastic hem of it snaps against your skin, squeezing the flesh of your thigh a little. Then you take the second one, elegantly lifting the other leg and repeating the taunting process, but this time he is here to watch it from the beginning to the very end.

You happily hum, observing your work, and, satisfied, get on your feet, adjusting the band of your panties a little. Archons, you are wearing a matching set of the richest green shade. Lace leaves little to imagination, as his eyes flicker up to your chest, noting the pretty, natural swell of it and the outline of your nipples, and then down, as you turn around and bend to grab the shirt from the bed, demonstrating to him your ass and thighs.

His hand almost reaches out to touch you, to get a hold of the round globe, to sink his lithe fingers in your flesh. After all, your husband is not above earthly pleasures.

But your voice snaps him out of it.

"My love, if you keep standing like this in the middle of the room with just a towel on and no intention to dress, you might be late for breakfast," you chide him not even turning around and throw on the shirt, hiding the bra and some of the lower half, yet still leaving a bit of an appetizing view for an eye.

Alhaitham wills himself to tear the almost burning gaze away from you and redirect it to his own clothes, already prepared and neatly hanging on a chair. You mischievously smile as he takes a step to move past your figure. He's kept alarmingly silent and you are dying to know what reaction he has for your little plan. 

The man has just a second to react when you abruptly turn around and stumble into him. Big palms instantly grab your hips to steady you against his chest, and the heart quickens at the feeling of soft lace under his fingertips, peeking from beneath the hem of the shirt he accidentally crumpled in the process. Your hands on his chest are so warm, put out just in time to catch yourself, and Alhaitham finds himself thinking of how would've it felt if your chests collided - maybe the thin material of the only layer of clothes you have on paired with some flimsy bra would not make any difference from direct skin to skin contact?

"Ah, sorry, 'haithy," you sheepishly smile up at him, eyes soft and staring innocently, "Are you alright? I haven't heard you speak ever since you left for the shower…"

Archons, please, don't let his voice betray him.

"I'm," he quickly clears his throat, "alright. Was just about to start dressing."

You hum, pushing onto his pectorals to move away and continue with your own - though slightly changed - routine, but strong fingers flex, keeping you in place by the sheer hold on your hips. You look at him inquiringly, ignoring how the very tips of his thumbs just barely slip under the thin material of your panties to caress your hip bones. It's almost an absentminded action.

"What's with this lingerie?" He finally drops the question swirling on his tongue ever since he first laid his eyes on the tantalizing sight. It's hard to hold back a smirk - you admit you were a bit doubtful if it'd actually grab your husband's attention. Who knew the stoic man was into it…

"Oh, this?" Nonchalantly you tug on the collar of your shirt and Alhaitham sharply inhales upon catching a glimpse of your barely covered breast again. "Do not worry, habibi, it is not to seduce you," he is not that sure about it. 

Taking his hands in yours, you pry them off of your body and put them back to his sides, gracing his waist just above the towel with your touch. He shivers.

"I know it's different from what I usually wear, especially to work," you admit, turning around again, to grab the robes of the Akademyia's scholar. "But I really-really loved this one I purchased a couple of weeks ago on that outing with the girls. I feel so beautiful in it," fuck, you are. "And today is a special day. Want to have some confidence, you know?"

And as the rest of your body disappears under the long article of clothing, Alhaitham is finally aware of what this whole thing is about.

It's going to be an agonizingly endless day, where the only thing he can do is watch.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x fem!reader #alhaitham #genshin impact fluff

[yanderestarangel]

♡ 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐓 | 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑!𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐗 𝐅𝐓𝐌 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

TW: dom!nanami kento, objectification, humiliation, degradation, v!sex, oral (f!re), dark themes, extreme smut, nsfw, reader is himbo, power play, manipulation, corruption, erodark, master x sub, teacher nanami x student reader, virgin reader, aggressive sex, porn plot, dark!nanami kento, sadism.

You didn't like him, and he couldn't understand the logical reason for such actions. Nanami Kento was your college biology teacher, he was a polite and serious man, but you simply didn't respect him! You didn't attend his classes, you always rolled your eyes in disdain when he scolded you, even suspensions didn't work anymore, Kento had reached his limit, for several reasons. The main thing about him was that your lack of interest in everything and especially in him, made him grind his teeth in anger and a sadistic desire to make you suffer, to make you suffer by his hands.

You were pretty, young and bratty, a dangerous and perfect combo in Kento's eyes, he hated how hard his dick got when he saw you walk by. How beautifully you smile at your friends in class. How you challenged him, as if he wasn't important enough for your attention. That awakened his fury and darkest desires, how he wanted to bend you over some table and spank your pussy until you screamed and cried his name, apologizing for having treated him so badly.

So, he soon discovered your weak point, your grades.

You needed to go straight to the other semester of college, but his grade was the main thing to define your failure or your success. He smiled brightly at the discovery, he could take revenge on you and still get what he always wanted... You.

"-Well (Y/N) it seems that there are a few mistakes in your test." Nanami said, retrieving your paper and glancing at the "incorrect" answers - They were all correct, but he had the power to simply clear everything and fail you - you were confused, swearing you had studied hard to pass his class.

"-But don't worry, I'd be more than happy to help you understand the material better." He leaned closer, his voice lowering to a whisper. "-I could give you some private tutoring sessions, if you'd like. Just between us, of course." His gaze was intense, suggesting a different kind of tutoring that went beyond academics. You tried to leave, do what your mind was telling you, run away, but the blonde man's calloused and strong fingers grabbed your hair and Nanami's grip on your scalp tightened, a mixture of dominance and desperation in his eyes. His desire for you seemed to consume him, his facade crumbling under the weight of his lust.

"-Do you think you can resist me little brat?" Nanami growled, his voice laced with a raw intensity. "-You've tempted me for a long time and now it's time to submit, I'm tired of you."

He knelt before you, your gaze fixed on his, while his other hand grabbed your thigh possessively. "-And if you think your grades won't suffer if you resist, you're sadly mistaken."

As Nanami spoke, his fingers crept up your inner thigh, teasingly close to your most intimate area. He leaned closer, his breath ghosting over your thigh, he placed a dangerous, loveless kiss on your skin - just a bittersweet threat to your position there. Nanami's intense gaze locked onto his, palpable dominance in him as he let go of your hair and praised you for your submission. The mixture of fear and excitement coursed through your veins, sharpening your senses and leaving you breathless, it was a dangerous situation, but something there, something in the veins of anger, his gaze filled with hate and desire, his eyebrows furrowed into a line, the trembling lips, the veins pulsing in his muscular arms - all of that gave you an aesthetic pleasure, a forbidden pleasure -

"-Good boy" he continued, as he handed him the bottle of lubricant. His own arousal was evident as he unzipped his pants, releasing his hardened erection, his fat, pulsing cock popping out of his clothes, presenting itself to your gaze.

"-Get ready doll boy." The teacher ordered, his voice firm but tinged with a hint of need. "-Use the lube to make the way easier for me."

He watched you intently, his eyes full of expectation and even a sadistic vengeful pleasure, an ununderstood anger, however, was there - as you applied the lubricant to yourself. The smoothness of the gel against your skin sent waves of pleasure throughout your body, mixing with nervous excitement.

Meanwhile, Kento stroked his length, his fingers moving in rhythmic motions as he watched you prepare yourself under his guidance. Every touch, every movement, was meticulously calculated to increase his desire and make you crave his touch even more.

Nanami's eyes became transfixed on your intimate display, his own arousal intensifying with every movement you made. The sight of your tight virgin pussy and your struggle to slide a finger inside only further fueled his eagerness to have you soon for him, he felt like a god, he had never felt so powerful.

He continued to stroke his erection, his eyes never leaving you, his gaze filled with a hunger that mirrored his own.

As you moaned sweetly in front of him, Nanami could no longer resist the temptation. He needed to feel you, taste your exuberant sweetness.

With a primal grunt, he stood up and quickly advanced towards your, pressing your back against the table. His hands grabbed your hips possessively, taking control of the situation.

"-Enough preparation, be a good boy and spread those thighs wide for me."

He quickly coated his fingers with more lube, making sure your entrance was slick and ready for him, the thought of burying himself deep inside you made him almost lose control.

With an authoritative yet gentle touch - The sight of your swollen entrance and your pulsing clit made his mouth water with anticipation - Unable to resist any longer, he leaned in, his tongue darting out to taste your essence. He savored the sweet taste of your arousal, his lips and tongue working expertly to bring you pleasure.

As he paid attention to your sensitive nub, he could feel your body responding, your moans and tremors urging him to thrust harder, the taste of juices and lubrication staining the older man's lips - his tongue danced over your throbbing clit, shaking and turning deftly. He could feel your breathing quickening, your moans getting louder, and it only fueled his own hunger for you.

"-Fuck pretty boy, I need to fuck you here and now." He leans over and spits on your pussy, not a gesture of lubricating your little hole even more, but rather a demonstration of power, placing you on a pedestal of just a cheap whore, but Kento's brown eyes said something else, something confusing. Yes, he wanted to take revenge on you, but to what extent had he not used his feelings of anger to cover up a passion or obsession for you? He wouldn't have that answer there, and he didn't want to.

He disregarded your resistance, his need and dominance overriding any protest you might have made. "-Do you think you can resist me? Do you think you can deny me what I want? Do you think you have a say in how this happens?"

"-With every thrust, I will remind you of every moment you thought you could resist. When you dared to defy me, despising me like trash, as if I were nothing to you." Nanami spoke with one of the veins bulging from his neck and forehead, pinning you to the hard wooden table, he didn't even put on a condom, With a sudden surge of strength, Kento penetrated deeper into you, hitting that hidden spot that sent shockwaves of pleasure for your body.

"-Well, let's see how much of a 'good boy' you really are when I take everything from you." - You could feel everything, the feeling of pain from your ruptured hymen, the pulsation of his cock in your core, the thick girth stretching you with each slow movement of having total entry into your cunt, which led you to hold onto him, desperately looking for support, in the hard muscles covered by the thin fabric of his dress shirt -

Nanami's eyes were filled with a dangerous lust as he watched you, the sight of your legs shaking and your body arching against him, was too much for him to handle. It had been so long since he had pleasure like this - not just physical, with your tight pussy, but mental, seeing you submit to him like that, was like paradise for him. "-My chérie ..." Kento murmured, his voice full of pride and satisfaction. "-You see? This is what you were made for. To surrender to me, to crave my touch, my dominance."

His thrusts were demanding, with no room for you to even adjust to his size. His fingers moved fast on your clit, the rhythm matching the rhythm of his cruel thrusts, he could see the bulge in your womb because of his cock.

"-Fuck look at that, such a good pussy... Fuck you are a hungry little slut, just waiting to be fucked like a cute and needy himbo that you are, aren't you?" He smiled, sweat falling from his forehead, as he moaned next to you, every inch of him buried deep in your most secret intimate. "-I am more than just your teacher. I am your master. Your god. Your savior from the mundane life you so long to escape." His fingers moved faster on your clit, his rhythm matching the rhythm of his thrusts, as if they were dancing an erotic waltz that only the two of you could understand.

"-You're mine, my good boy, even if you're a fucking slut." he murmured, his voice low and seductive but filled with a dangerous undertone.

"-Yes, cum for daddy" He whispered again, the nickname full of possessiveness and control, he felt your tremors, he knew you were going to cum, the sweet taste was of knowing he had taken your virginity and it had been your first to make you reach climax.

"-You're so wet, so tight... I can't even..." Kento moaned loudly, his balls hit your ass cheeks, leaving them with bruises from the speed and rough treatment.

He thrust one last time, burying himself deep inside you as his cum dripped down his shaft and onto the table below you.

When it was all over, when he had given her everything he could, Nanami leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers.

He paused for a moment, watching you lay beneath him, covered in your combined essence, the evidence of your surrender and submission etched into your body, your makeup smeared, your short skirt messy.

"-Look at you... You don't look so brat now, right?" Nanami pulled out of you slowly, each inch eliciting a moan from your lips.

He picked up your panties that had fallen to the side, holding them for you to see, with a smirk. "-When you lie beneath me, broken and begging for more... Those panties will be the only reminders of who really holds the power here... Me, you will come back looking for more." With those words, Nanami tore off your panties, tearing them into two halves.

"-And so" He continued, holding half of the torn fabric. "-Your virginity will never be complete again. You will carry that reminder wherever you go, a constant reminder of what happens when you dare defy me."

He tossed the panties aside, his eyes lingering on your nakedness for a moment before turning around, reaching into his pocket.

"-Your grades stayed the same, don't worry, clean yourself up and get out of here, I think you learned your lesson." He spoke coldly, quickly turning to face you, he opened his lips to say something, but changed his mind, returning to his cold and calculated expression, leaving the room, with a loud thud.

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

#yanderestarangel #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento smut #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x male reader #nanami kento x y/n #nanami kento x ftm reader #ftm!reader #ftm reader #daddy nanami kento #dark smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #nanami x reader #kento x reader #yandere nanami kento #nanami x male reader #nanami x ftm reader #afab reader #jjk smut #jujutsu smut #kento smut #jjk x male reader #dark themes #jujustu kaisen #jujustu kaisen smut

[adascore]

DISTRACTION | L. OBERDORF

pairing: lena oberdorf x girlfriend!reader

warnings: uni work lol. kissing.

author's note: inspired by lena’s tiktok with lea :) the cutest duo, cant wait to see them play together at bayern.

masterlist

''Obi, I just need to finish this. Give me a few more minutes.''

''No, I've been waiting for too long.''

This was how it had been for the past hour, Lena trying to coax her girlfriend into giving up her university work to watch a movie with her, but the midfielder hadn't had much success so far.

Y/N sighed loudly. ''I am almost done, I promise.''

''You have been saying that for an hour now, babe, I am bored.'' She retorted, her frustration evident as she tried to sneakily grab her girlfriend's laptop, only to have her hands swatted away.

''Off, Oberdorf! I swear…''

''I just want to watch a movie with my girlfriend, that can't be much to ask.'' Lena continued whining, clinging onto her partner like a koala.

Y/N would have normally chuckled at her antics, if it wasn't interrupting her task to review an important chapter that would be covered in her class the next day. ''And I just want to review this stupid chapter, that can't be much to ask.'' She mocked the German, imitating Lena's facial expression.

The Wolfsburg player begrudgingly removed herself from her girlfriend's body, settling on the other side of the couch with a loud huff. Though she hoped her dramatic display would garner sympathy from Y/N, she soon realized that her partner was too engrossed in her studies to pay her much attention.

As the student continued to read through the assigned academic text, she heard some faint audio coming from her girlfriend's phone. However, she decided to simply ignore it and get through the grueling reading she had to do.

But as Lena turned up the volume of her device, the sound became increasingly louder, disrupting Y/N's concentration. She would have been more tolerant if it weren't for the fact that the same part of the song was being repeated over and over again.

She cast a glance towards the footballer, not looking particularly happy as she had to pause her activity again. ''Obi, what are you doing?''

''Making a TikTok.'' She answered, mumbling as she was focused on her phone.

''Can you do that in another room, please?'' Y/N asked, trying to not let her frustration be too audible in her voice.

Lena shook her head. ''No, I really need to do it in here.''

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at the response, sending a pointed look in Lena's direction. Despite her irritation, she remained rooted to the couch, unwilling to give in to her disruption by relocating to another room.

About a minute later, she saw in her peripheral vision how Lena held up the phone in the air, seemingly filming the pair on the couch.

''Obi…'' She warned her partner, but Lena continued lip syncing to the audio, though she moved the camera back so she was only filming herself.

Y/N let out a breath of relief when the music stopped, her annoyance slowly withering away.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally closed her laptop, her reading session complete. With a stretch and a satisfied sigh, she pushed herself up from her spot on the couch and made her way over to Lena's side.

''I'm done, what movie do you wanna watch?'' She asked the midfielder, laying her head on Lena's shoulder.

Lena gave her a grumpy look, acting as if she didn't want anything to do with her at that moment. Y/N could see the cracks of a smile beginning to form at the corners of her lips, though her girlfriend was trying really hard to suppress it. ''Don't know…'' She muttered in an innocent tone, pretending she hadn't been whining for the past hour.

Y/N placed a gentle kiss on her neck, a smirk on her face. ''Too bad, maybe my other girlfriend would love to watch a film with me.'' She teased, continuing to peck her neck and collarbones.

Lena swallowed, her facade slowly falling apart. ''Hmm, maybe. Or do you keep her waiting as well?''

Her partner chuckled, her fingers tracing gentle patterns on Lena's arm. ''She doesn't mind being patient, it's what I love about her so mu-''

''Okay, that's enough! Let's watch that new romantic comedy I told you about.'' Lena interrupted, playfully pushing Y/N away from her, before wrapping her arms around her and attacking her face with kisses.

Y/N grinned, amused by Lena's subtle jealousy over a nonexistent person. ''Nice.''

Lena's hand found its way onto her girlfriend's thigh, while Y/N nestled into her side, resting her head on the German's shoulder once again. ''Comfy?'' Lena asked, glancing down with a soft smile.

Y/N nodded. ''Always.'' She responded, briefly lifting Lena's hand up from her thigh and pressing a quick kiss to her knuckles.

While Lena searched for the film on their tv, Y/N remembered the video she had been filming while she still had been busy with reading. ''What were you filming earlier, by the way?''

''Oh,'' Lena laughed, recalling the TikTok she had made. She retrieved her phone out of her pocket, opening said social media app. ''This.''

The footballer put the screen in front of her, the text on the video reading: Me when my girlfriend has to do uni work instead of watching a movie with me.

''Obi, that's such an unflattering angle!'' Y/N exclaimed, watching herself in the short video.

''What are you talking about, you look cute!'' Lena protested, zooming in on her form, clearly not seeing anything wrong with it.

Her girlfriend rolled her eyes, but let it go. ''You're gonna post that?'' She curiously inquired.

Lena shrugged her shoulders. ''Only if you're fine with it. People always ask me to make more TikToks with you.'' She answered.

''It's okay- you gotta give the people what they want.'' Y/N winked, leaning forward to place a kiss on Lena's cheek.

''True,'' the midfielder blushed, ''and I want to watch a movie with you now.'' She diverted from the topic, putting the phone back where it came from.

''What Obi wants, Obi gets.'' Y/N teasingly added.

Lena gave her a side glance. ''After an hour…''

''Oh, don't ruin the vibes!''

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #lena oberdorf x reader #woso fic #woso fics

[iouinotes]

Good gone bad | Coriolanus Snow

pairing: young!Coriolanus Snow x female!reader

movie: Hunger Games: The ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

warnings: dark!character, smut

word count: 3,8k

summary: You are childhood friends and very close with him. When his behaviour starts to change for the worse, you try your best to hold on to his real-self.

a/n: I adored Snow the first half an hour, because he was a gentleman and cared so much! Then his character became dark, obsessive and murderous and it really was a game changer...but I definitely want to read the book, so I can describe his character in my following stories better!

part 2 here

"I will call my new discovery just like you, Mr. Snow. The best student and the future of this world. No one will stand in your way, when the blizzard blows over the people. And because it will work so well for your little infatuation, it will function for every other naive creature too."

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

"Coryo!" I shot his name across the hallway, when I see his blonde locks, ignoring the looks from my classmates around me. At the sound of my voice, his head turns in my direction and I run faster towards his figure. As soon as I catch up with him, I meet his curious eyes and look further down to his smiling lips.

"Good morning to you too. Let me guess, you have something really important to announce or are just very happy to see me." Holding the door open for me, I try to catch my breath, wanting to ignore the lovely tone of his voice and the way he looks so outstanding beautiful.

"Well, both, but I heard some gossip about the upcoming ceremony tomorrow. Details who is gonna get the scholarship." Now, while entering the room, I have his full attention.

When I heard about the changes, that were made I immediately searched for him, clearly knowing how much he was ready to sacrifice for this academic possibility.

As he stops walking and places his hands on my shoulders, stopping me in my foodsteps and searching my gaze, I feel my pounding heart.

God forbid this man to look at me this way.

As I try to avoid his intense glare, his hands gently move to my cheeks to focus my eyes on him. I feel myself blushing, fiddling with the rings, that are attached to my fingers.

"No time for jokes, please. What do you know?" I clear my voice, trying to ignore our close gap or the way his curls lay on his forehead and how his skin shines beautifully in the light- No, wait. Not good. We're just friends. I don´t like him that way. Nope.

"I- uh, so please don´t freak out on me, but rumor says it's not up to the student with the best grades to get the scholarship..." I watch his posture straighten, see the how his facial expression turns blank and the irritated change in his mood. And I promise you, it´s not good.

When he lets go of me to strike forward, I try to hold him back. "Wait- you are angry and disappointed, so talk to me first before you let your emotions out on the others, okay?" I catch his left hand and hear his upset breathing.

"It's just- you know, more than anyone, that I deserve this scholarship the most! And now the only possibility to help my family and to become successful are at risks, because someone decided to change the rules? God, I worked my ass off to be the one they choose and now I'll probably get laughed at, cause I didnt get it!" I nod, trying to calm him down by listening to his outburst.

"You do deserve it, I know that. But you still have the chance to stand out more than the others. You are intelligent and brave, very ambitious and you care a lot. Not only for your family and friends, but for everyone. You are the best candidate and if they don´t choose you, then it is the wrong decision. Because they need someone like you. Just like I need you, believe me." I hold his hand close to my heart, trying to convince him of his abilities and his good heart, to show him that he deserves every recognition he gets.

And it works, because he relaxes slightly and after another second passes, I feel myself being embraced in a tight hug. His hand holds the back of my head and I hear his quiet "thank you".

"Always, blue. I am here for you." His lips linger for a second on my forehead, the kiss leaves me feeling warm and in love.

Even if I try to deny it.

"It's been a while, since you called me that nickname." I look in his eyes, when he pulls back. Admiring the shining blue that follows my dreams.

I only smile at him, shrugging when we have a normal distance between us, that helps me to concentrate again.

"It slipped out, I guess. But you are right, the last time I called you that, we were in primary school. How fast the time goes." Nodding we gently smile at each other and I clear my throat, when I get more and more enchanted to him.

We have known each other for so long, but nothing has changed about us.

Expect my feelings for him. They seem to never go away.

So, when I step forward and his eyes follow me, I start to walk to class again.

"Come on, we're being late. The greatest student of all time does not come late." He shakes his head, smiling at me and when I feel for a moment that something is different between us, I brush it off.

When he's finally catching up with me, I order my thoughts.

Don't fall in love with him.

Pretend, you didnt fall in love with him.

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

I am good at pretending, really. It normally helps me to focus on the important things in my life, for example school, my grades, studying and getting accepted by a college. Did I mention, my academic success needs to be excellent?

But now, the only thing I can concentrate on is him. And I can hardly pretend, not for much longer, that I am not in love with him.

Because his life is in danger, now that the Hunger Games have started and he is the mentor of the tribute of district 12, a girl named Lucy Gray, everything is different.

He is different.

I know him long enough, that I see how much he cares for her. And because I'm good at pretending, I can see right through his actions.

He maybe likes the girl, but even though he tries to hide it, he cares more that he is the victor in the end.

And that is something that I find quite odd. I mean, he always wants to win, wants to be the best and on top or ahead of everyone. But he was always fair, human and supportive.

But his behavior changed as the days passed. Of course, it's obvious that the violence and torment that the game brings with changes you. More for the worse, than the better.

But it's not only the pressure he is under or the tension that he feels, because he needs the girl to win. It's something different and I notice that none of this is doing him any good. Especially for his heart.

Because he is being distant, he talks less, smiles less, is acting like a person I don´t even know anymore.

And it scares me, it hurts to see him losing himself in the process of being successful.

The last time we talked, he said something to me that left me awake all night, thinking about the decisions and sacrifices he has to make to achieve his goal.

He said: "I will become president and when I am on top, the world will be as cold as the snow in the winter. Nobody will oppose me."

It scared me. He scared me.

And maybe it was the change of his behavior or the cold look in his eyes, with which he looked at everyone or maybe it was because I started to fear him, that I distanced myself from him.

And even though I thought, he wouldnt notice, he did.

And it made everything complicated.

He tried to approach me, talking and joking like we always did, but it wasnt the same. Because he wasnt the same. Even though the color of his eyes was still as bright as the sun, the way he looked at me hid something that was as dark as the night.

I didnt know how I felt anymore.

Because when fear is equal to love, do I fear him then?

I guess I did and it made me sick in the stomach. He lied, he betrayed, he murdered, he did things, I would hate anyone for.

He did things for that I started to hate myself, because I couldnt hate him. Not when he really was the victim in this cruel world, even when he presented himself as the victor.

But for me, he didnt win. Because he rather lost something.

My trust for him.

And that made him angry, so much that he started to manipulate his way into my life again, when I decided that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

At first it would be small things. He continued opening the door for me, even though I didnt walk to class with him anymore.

He always saved me a seat next to him, although I decided to sit somewhere else. Then he started bribing the teachers, so that I had to do my assignments with him, he started showing up by almost every place I would go to.

He would give me roses that I wouldn't accept or visited me at work, always with a smile on his face. But I could tell it wasn't real.

He wasn't his real-self after all. He pretended to be someone else and I couldnt trust this new version of him.

He cut his hair short, nowadays wears expensive and neat clothes, always speaks in a formal voice and does polite gestures.

Small smiles, fake laughs, adoring looks which he uses to hide his real intentions behind a facade.

He enchanted the whole world.

But his magic didn't work on me and he became more and more aware of it as the days went by and I continued to ignore him.

And then, on one evening he visited my dorm and before I could close the door, he stood in my apartment and said something, I will forever keep in mind. His presence began to feel like a short movie, captivating me with each encounter.

"I know that you don't like the way things are now. But I am doing this to maintain peace, to keep the people in the place they belong. And I want you to know, that you just need to understand my actions and start to trust me again."

As he spoke, he started to walk towards me, looking me in the eyes, trying to convince me. I had no way out, all I could do was to back up until I hit the wall and he was standing right in front of me. Starring at me, like I needed to be on his side.

I tried to avoid his gaze and the deep blue that somehow always successfully convinced me. Until now.

"Please look at me, I´m telling you the truth. You know me, I´m still the same guy. Why don´t you believe me?" His hands brush my cheeks, roughly holding my face in his hands to keep my eyes on him.

It wasnt new to me that he loved to manipulate. I overheard some of his lies, the hidden betrayal of his own best friend and I couldnt be sure, that he wouldnt do the same to me too.

The only thing I knew was that his striving for power was taking over his being and I seemed powerless to do anything against it.

"I can´t trust you anymore, Coryo. You are acting different and all the things you did-" his face gets closer to me and my heartbeat becomes faster the less distance there is between our faces.

I can´t deny it.

He looks so beautiful.

Even though I want to talk, he leaves me speechless. As if the cold blue of his eyes froze me into a stature, that can only listen to him.

"Everything I did was for you. I know you love me, always have and always will. But you don't admit it to yourself, you don't want to admit it. I know how you feel for me, sweetheart and you have no reason to stop loving me now."

His words are like magic, his eyes like a hallucination, that everything is fine. His hands so warm and familiar that it's hard for me to remember the bad things he did.

That he's trying so hard to make me forget about.

His fingers move around my neck, his body comes closer to me until we touch, until I can only see him and only he matters.

His face is so close to mine and my eyes flutter - out of fear or anticipation, I don´t really know - until I feel his breathing on my ear.

"If you just let me make you remember the old time. Everything we did, the fun we had, how much we trusted each other. How much I still care and appreciate you. Stop thinking and let yourself feel."

His lips touch my skin and I have to suppress a whimper. I can breathe in his scent, his hands around me confuse my thoughts. My dreams from back then, imagining being able to have him, love him and touch him - they make me insecure about my decisions.

I wanted him for such a long time, that it now seems impossible for me to actually call him mine.

But coming to my senses, realising he is no longer the sweet gentleman I fell in love with, I want to stop him, by holding my hands out to push him back. However his hands react quickly and enclose mine with a firm grip to press them against the wall.

"No, listen to me. I never told you, but I heard you dreaming about me once. You whispered my name, like your heart longed for me, in a way you would never be able to truly understand your feelings for me. Like I am the god you pray for and I promise you, if you would just let me, I would fulfill your every wish. Because, together, you and me, we can become holy in our own, untouchable way. "

When I try to shake my head, his hands change so that one of them is holding both of my hands and the other one is grabbing my face.

"Don´t fight against me, darling. It wont work. You know it, I always win."

And as his hands hold my chin and I can hear my loud heartbeat, his lips meet mine in a wild kiss, clearly showing me the control he has over me.

And it's addicting, but so so dangerous.

His lips are soft against my own and he roughly kisses me, like he's the devil trying to steal my soul.

His body feels warm against my own and I'm weak for a moment, gently kissing him back, enjoying the way he smiles at my reaction.

His kisses becomes more heated, his hands are roaming over my nightgown and his fingers caress the exposed skin. Everything feels too good to be true.

But I can´t let myself enjoy this, I need to focus.

"No- Coryo. We cant-" I try to studder, breaking the kiss and hating the way he makes me feel. Because I feel so good, like only he can make me feel this way.

When I interrupt our kiss and while I try to assert myself against him, I notice his anger becoming more and more obvious.

"What I do is only to make you happy, why dont you understand? I want to see you happy and because of that, I have to do certain things. Just like now." His intense gaze is focused on me.

Without being able to do anything, I suddenly feel a liquid on my skin, that first makes me shiver because of the cold, but in the next second, I feel as hot as if I was standing in the desert and would be dying of thirst.

His touch begins to feel like the only solution and I want more. So, I lean into his touch and literally melt against his body as his lips brush mine.

"Fascinating, as Dr. Gaul said. It becomes one with the skin and intoxicates the senses." He whispers, but I can't figure out what he means by that. The only thing I can concentrate on is him. Why was I here again?

"You need me. You said it yourself, I'm here to remind you." His voice is quiet and I feel my thoughts dissolving. Only the sight of him remains in my head.

His look, those beautiful blue eyes, they distract me and I can´t ignore the desire that his lips are about to meet mine again. We're just centimeters apart and even if I try to stop it, my emotions change. I stop thinking about all the things he did.

Instead, all I can think about is his touch, his lips. And now that I know the ghost of his touch, I wouldn't want anything else.

So, I lean myself forward and kiss him.

It feels like my insides burns with desire, something that is so indescribable, that I don't even know, if I'm capable of feeling this love for too long.

My hands move to his shoulders and to his head, but my control is quickly suppressed as he pushes me back against the wall. So that I almost can't move.

His fingers lift my chin up, I see him grinning smugly at me in triumph.

"Good girl, you only need to listen to me. No one else." And I want to believe him so much, that I suddenly want to forget my doubts.

So, I let him make me forget. His hands roam my body, freeing me from my clothes and holding me where he wants me.

And I let him because I remember that I always wanted him to have his way with me. And when I look at his face, I no longer differentiate. For me, only my Coryo exists.

I close my eyes and lose myself in these sensations, the heat of his words and his actions.

His lips are soft, his kisses leave me with an unknown want and I can't do anything other than just take everything he gives me.

When he strips me out of my pants and unbottons my blouse, he lifts me up against the wall. His hips are pressed against my waist and his kisses travel from my lips down to my chest.

"Everything I do is for you." His words sound familiar.

"You will never doubt me again, I promise you. I'll make sure of that. From now on, you will feel this good forever. Because of me, you hear me? Only because of me, always me." His words cover me like a veil, but I'm unable to process them. My head is so empty and just like he said, I only feel.

I've never not thought about nothing and even if it should unnerve me, I can't even remember to be bothered about it.

As my hands try to move further down to his back and my nails leave marks on his back, his hand squeezes my neck like a warning.

"I am in control, you do as I say. Now take off my pants, so I can fuck you until you believe in me again." I can't think straight, when his hands are undressing me, cupping my breasts and turning me on in a way, I only want to be here with him.

As soon as my hands undress him and his pants are pulled down, he tears my panties apart, meeting my lips in a wanting kiss.

I feel one of his fingers slipping through my wet folds, pumping roughly two fingers inside me. My mouth opens and moans escape me, while I hold myself onto his shoulders.

"You needed to play hard to get, huh? Look who is at my mercy now." My body is still pressed against the wall and as my eyes close on their own, I suddenly feel his tip at my entrance.

And when I want to protest, he places his hand on my mouth to keep me quiet.

"No talking back to me. If you don't listen, I will make you." He pushes himself into me and I feel every vein as his hands direct mine against the wall behind me.

When he starts fucking me, I'm sure I'll pass out.

"C-cant take- too big, please" I dont even know how to speak properly anymore. His hands hold me tight and his thrusts are so brutal, that I barely have enough concentration to breathe.

"What did you say? You want to please me? Then shut your mouth and let me use you." With every harsh thrust, I feel my muscles become more and more relaxed and only he is holding me up now. I can't concentrate on anything else other than him inside me.

My thoughts begin to only focus on being good for him.

I feel like my soul is leaving my body. All I can hear is the dull clapping of our bodies, my loud moans and his heavy breathing.

As he buries his head in the crook of my neck, I softly whimper his name.

I feel how he tenses, when he react to me calling his nickname. His eyes shift to me and suddenly he lets go of my arms and I put them around his shoulders without hesitation. The position now is much more intimate and I scratch his back as his thrusts become even deeper and harder.

I hear his heavy breathing and feel his arms wrap around mine too.

"Tell me you want me." His voice is menacingly quiet. When I don't answer, too focused on his hips thrusting into me, he lets go of the wall and lays me on my bed.

"Fine, I will make you say it then." He sits down and pulls me onto his lap with my back to him, sliding his cock into me again. I moan so loudly, that I notice him grinning contentedly against my shoulder.

"You like that? Good, everyone will know how me you like me, when I'm done with you." His hand directs me so his chest touches my back and one of his hands moves to wrap around my neck.

"You will get used to doing what I want and you will do it, because you want to. You hear me? You won't stay away from me anymore, you belong to me. Everything you do is for me and only me." My thoughts are so confused, I can't think straight anymore. All I know is that I have never felt so good and that he is the reason for my pleasure.

"But I fucked you dumb so it seems. Pretty, little thing. You are like my personal doll, that I can use as I please. This turns me on even more than I would have thought." He pushes me further down on him, making me bounce until that one special spot in me is abused over and over again. And all I can utter are useless words and loud moans.

"B-blue" I hear him chuckle darkly in response.

I'm no longer certain, that I'm even laying in the arms of the person I once loved so much.

"You should have let me fucked you much sooner. It would have destroyed any resistance you had towards me. Just like now and just like I wanted." His voice whispers in my ear and my head leans against his shoulders, my mouth opens and I feel every inch of him inside me.

His hand strokes the skin, where my heart lays and I feel his lips brush against my ear.

"If this heart ever beats for anyone else other than me, everyone in this world will die and I won't be afraid to tell you that it is entirely your fault."

I collapse in his arms, when I come, going completely limp and vulnerable, unable to move. This time I only seem to be physically present.

His arms wrap around me and he let me sink onto him again, then I hear his voice whispering promises into the dark room.

"You cant ever escape me. I will always find you and I will always get you."

#the hunger games #coriolanus snow #coriolanus snow x reader #dark character #smut #in love #dark academia

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Right, so, I've been seeing some persistent misconceptions in fanfiction where a character has ADHD. I'm a man of color with ADHD and I want to clear some things up. This is specifically about how people tend to write Ed Teach, but it can apply to other characters you're writing with ADHD. And I'd love if other people with ADHD, especially other people of color with ADHD, have any additions to tack on!

These things are NOT what ADHD is.

ADHD does not make you "stupid." This whole thing was inspired because I just read a fic where Ed cites his ADHD as evidence he's "dumber" than the other characters (and this was supported by the writing in the story). There is no correlation between ADHD and intelligence, and we know that Ed is a genius!

ADHD does not automatically mean that someone can't finish school or can't succeed in demanding academic fields. I'm working on my PhD. It just means your character needs coping skills.

ADHD does not mean that someone will "hyperfixate" on or suddenly lose interest in relationships, whether romantic or platonic.

ADHD doesn't mean your character struggles with personal hygeine or keeping their home clean. Please stop making me read fics that characterize a man of color as dirty or incapable of keeping his home clean and excusing it because "he has ADHD!"

ADHD doesn't mean that your character will need someone to look after or supervise everything they do. Ed does not need a White man to take care of him or make sure his work gets done.

ADHD doesn't mean a character will be unable to sit still, focus, stay on-task, or sit in silence 100% of the time. We all have different tolerance levels and those can change depending on current circumstances.

Here are some more realistic, interesting ways ADHD can impact successful, smart characters of color, like Ed.

He might feel the need to be hypercompetent, all the time.

He might get frustrated with himself. ADHD can be frustrating! You can be on top of things 99% of the time at work and school, and have people look up to you, and then you'll realize that you've been forgetting to book that doctor's appointment for six months straight now and you'll feel like a failure.

He might overcorrect symptoms. For example, he might have trouble keeping a neat, organized space and know that messes stress him out, so he overcorrects by being a bit of a neat freak and avoiding mess wherever possible so his space never becomes unmanageable.

He might struggle with The Evil Boredom. That's when you feel super understimulated and nothing is enough to help.

He might have trouble sitting still or saying quiet when he's nervous, feeling strong emotions, or in a boring environment or trying to do a boring task (the scene where Ed struggled with being still and quiet while fishing, while also feeling strong emotions of guilt, was super relatable).

I like to write AuDHD characters (with both autism and ADHD), and it can add a fun new dimension! I personally headcanon Ed as AuDHD. When you have both, symptoms can be frustrating because they can feel contradictory (for example, my autism demands I keep a neat, tidy space and I like routines, but my ADHD means I have trouble keeping things tidy to my standards and routines are super boring).

And finally but crucially: it's obviously okay to headcanon a character as ADHD or with any other neurodivergence when you're White. However, it's important to remember that the experience of neurodivergence looks different for people of color. Boys of color with ADHD, for example, are often overdiagnosed with ODD and labelled as "defiant" or "uncooperative." I often avoid telling White friends and coworkers that I'm AuDHD because it tends to make them infantalize me, as if I haven't already proven to them I'm a capable adult. People of color often have to go undiagnosed or without appropriate medications (if needed) and/or are misdiagnosed. If you're writing about a chracter of color with ADHD, I really recommend finding a sensitivity reader.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd ed teach

[glitzreyasblog]

Hi girl! Well i want to manifest high grades in my exams but sometimes when i pass the exam and then the teachers returns my papers i find them bad...and then i give up persisting, how do i fix that? It Also a problem with changing my past grades, it just the 3d circumstances triggers me and that would make me think that it impossible to change my grades. I Hope you see my Ask and thank you 💗

hey, anon, thanks for asking ! ♡

first, nothing is impossible. the truth is everything is available to you and everything is possible. so even if you don’t always believe everything is possible, know that the truth is that every possibility is at your fingertips.

I understand that the 3D can be triggering, I mean, of course it is! if it’s in your face 24/7 how could it not annoy you? but at the end of the day, as long as you realize that the 3D and it’s circumstances literally mean nothing and can’t do anything to impact your manifestations— you’re good.

also, the 3D is neverrrr a source of confirmation or validation. don’t look to it and take whatever it says as the last word. it’s not in the 3D, so what? keep going. There’s no such thing as giving up since you’re always manifesting, giving up simply means persisting in the assumption you don’t want.

the 3D always look at you for validation anyways. everything in the 3D comes from you because the 3D is you, there’s no separation! so don’t believe that the 3D can create on its own or that whatever happens in the 3D is set in stone. keep doing your thing and the 3D has no choice but to follow— that is a guarantee.

I really recommend reading these posts by @etherealkissed88 , as soon as I saw your ask, her posts popped into my head:

indifference towards the 3D

applying the law while experiencing the 3D

(I rlly recommend her blog too! it’s been incredibly helpful for me and allowed me to find success in my loa journey 🫶)

don’t look at your grades in the 3D and take that as a sign that “it didn’t work”. don’t take anything that happens in the 3D as a sign of anything. the 3D literally means nothing, so don’t let it stop you. the only one who can change your reality is you, so dont give up just because the insignificant 3D shows you something.

ps, it’s perfectly okay to have doubts. lots of people manifest even with doubts, anxiety, negative thoughts, etc. once you’ve decided that you have it, it’s done. nothing can take that away from you. so do whatever you want, interact with the 3D, while knowing you already made the decision that it’s yours.

and remember, the 3D can only change once there is a change in self.

aside from my advice, I’d also like to share my experience, because I used to be in a similar situation. I depended on the 3D for confirmation so much it’s not even funny. I’m proud to say that now my mindset is completely different and i couldn’t care that much about the 3D if I tried. what helped me the most was learning and understanding the significance of imagination. learning the importance of imagination and self was what changed the game for me. I was able to give myself everything I wanted in my imagination, I was able to fulfill and change self with ease and I had never felt more free doing so. It also made me a million times more sure in my decision that I had what I wanted. because why would I care about the 3D and what it was showing me if i had everything i wanted in the 4D— the real reality. so, if your 3D grades are bothering you then simply have fun in the 4D! what do you desire aside from the grades? Is it the satisfaction of achieving such high marks? Is it the pride you’ll have in yourself once you get the top score? Is it relief you want to feel? Do you want to impress your peers? Or is it academic validation you want? Whatever it is, give it to yourself within. and don’t just do that for the sake of change in the 3D, for the sake of getting something, do it because you’ll feel how you want to feel. do it because you’ll feel confident in the assumption you have high marks.

give yourself something to fall in love with in imagination.

another ps (I swear I’m almost done just stay with me😭😭) it’s also worth mentioning that you as the outer man can do absolutely nothing to change the outer world, nor should you strive to. the only way to change the 3D is to change self, change imagination. to create a new assumption which then turns into a new identity.

at the end of the day, it all comes back to the inner world. a change in the 3D can only be created by a change in the 4D. so you either make the change or get stuck in the cycle that is putting the 3D on a pedestal. the choice is yours.

#law of assumption #manifest #manifesting #affirmations #3d reality #neville goddard #loa #manifesation #Glitzreya’s asks #loassblog #loa tumblr #loassumption #loa blog #loa success #loablr #self concept #4d reality #the inner man #inner man #pure consciousness #consciousness #reality shifting #edward art #assume and persist #desired life #desired reality #dream life #dream girl life #the void state #void state

[charmedreincarnation]

I’m kind of in a similar situation to your college indecisiveness post bc I want to shift but never have the time cuz all this studying. I’m really hating life rn. I’ve tried shifting a few times and managed to detach my awareness from this reality for a few minutes at a time, so i know what works for me, but I never have time to do it. I feel kind of drained that I could be achieving so much but I’m stuck not even having the time cuz I’m not smart enough to get done with all this HW fast enough

TLDR how do I be cool like you and too smart for school to be a big concern? Do I just say f**k it and do a shifting attempt when I’m supposed to be studying?

This was such a sweet ask 😭😭💖 I'm overwhelmed by the sweetness of your words, and I assure you, I'm far from being as cool as you think. In fact, I found myself facing the very same dilemma in the past! Now, I'm not sure if you're looking for some wisdom from Loa or valuable studying tips, so ill share a little bit of both? Also college-related questions/asks have been pouring in lately, so I've decided to address them all right here. I should probably just make it a post but I’ll use this ask as a reference.

Pre law perspective:

So my senior year, was when I really started my journey. It was during this time that I learned about shifting and manifesting (kind of law of attraction) so I naturally attempted everyday and had my focus to that. However, I basically spiraled into burnout and indifference towards school. Tbh It's still a mystery to me how I managed to do fine in school when I basically stopped attending classes mentally and barely did my work.

I've always had ADHD, anxiety, and procrastination issues throughout my high school years, But senior year took it to a whole new level. The boredom and disconnection from my studies were unbearable. I went through the motions, completing my homework, but for classes I didn't enjoy, I mindlessly attended without caring or understanding the material. It was a year filled with academic mediocrity, and certain subjects like AP Calculus and AP Biology, which I didn't even need for my future plans, were absolute torture.

And at the time I didn’t even fully understand what shifting was, But I clung to the notion that school no longer mattered in the grand scheme of things. Looking back, I realize it was a detrimental mentality to have for my well being. If there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's this - find a balance. Avoid burning yourself out completely, but don't neglect your mental well-being either. You are still here, whether you're shifting or not, whether you’re god or not, and whether you're actively manifesting or not. Diving deeper into a negative mental well will not benefit you in any way. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.

As my burnout intensified, I reached a point where I no longer wanted to be alive in this boring ass reality. It became so severe that I almost didn't apply to college. My entire focus was consumed by shifting, and I simply didn't care about anything else. It was my friends who came to my rescue, pushing me to apply and offering unwavering support. Without their guidance and nurturing, I honestly don't know where I would be today.

Eventually, I grew tired of being tired. I began diving into my subliminal journey, creating playlists that combined affirmations for school,success, and luck. I learned the importance of dividing my time wisely. During the second semester, I continued this approach, focusing on school-related practices during the day and dedicating my evenings to shifting attempts.

Affirmations and scripting became the root of my routine too. Miraculously, my grades improved, even when I skipped classes for an entire month or neglected to read the lectures.

I was able to graduate high school with honors, which in itself proves that success or whatever isn’t even just about being naturally "good at school." I worked smarter, not harder and knowing about manifesting really helped with that!

So I really advice you to find a balance in your journey. Don't pour all your energy into just school or just manifesting. Embrace the plethora of easy methods available - scripting, subliminals, binaural beats - and integrate them into your study routine. Make it work in your favor. Treat shifting like a cherished hobby, something that complements your academic pursuits rather than overshadowing them.

Also, set realistic standards for yourself. In high school, I used to obsess over achieving straight A's, disregarding any grade below perfection. Looking back, I realize how misplaced my priorities were. As long as you maintain a mix of A's, B's, and even a few C's, you'll be absolutely fine. Set a goal of achieving a GPA of 3.0 or whatever scale your institution uses, and celebrate every success along the way.

Loa perspective

Ok, now let's talk about the power of the Law of Assumption!

Now that I'm in a place where I give only about 20% of my time and effort to school and still do very well, I can help and reflect on my journey properly. Back in high school, like said I struggled with anxiety and ADHD, and I thought these challenges would hold me back.

Test-taking, deadlines, remembering information it all seemed overwhelming. But you know what helped me? Subliminals.

Listening to subliminals for intelligence and confidence made a significant difference in my life. They boosted my abilities and gave me the belief that I could excel academically. And that belief was everything.

As you probably know the Law of Assumption states that whatever we expect and assume to be true will become our reality. So, I decided to apply this principle to my studies. I assumed that I was capable of achieving great grades with ease. I assumed that school life would be manageable, and I would continuously improve my skills throughout the semester. I always visualized seeing As, revised my past grades, teacher giving me the grade I know I deserve no matter what.

And guess what? It worked! My mindset shifted towards greater productivity, and I started using my time more efficiently. As a result, my grades improved, and I had more time to focus on the things I genuinely enjoyed. It was a game-changer, and it accounted for about 70% of my success. Just imagine that - simply switching my mindset and accepting the positive results from my previous subliminal experiences.

I understand that college can be more stressful and demanding than high school. But it's still the same principle at play. You don't have to drastically change your study habits if you don't want to. Instead, use general resources during the day to aid your studying. And while you're at it, listen to subliminals that align with your goals. Instead of imagining and affirming to yourself that you're a failure and worrying about all the things that could go wrong, shift your focus. Imagine the grade you want, affirm and visualize that no matter what happens on your test, you'll still pass the class with flying colors. Remember, it's just one test, one assignment, and there are so many more opportunities ahead.

General school tips

* Stop checking your grades every day. Seriously, it's only stressing you out. Grades can fluctuate randomly, especially in college (and honestly, even in high school). Instead of obsessing over the numbers, focus on staying on top of your assignments. Keep up with your work, put in your best effort, and trust that alone will reflect in your grades.

* Say no to all-nighters. Trust me, reading the same material for 12 hours straight won't magically make you understand it. If something isn't clicking, it's probably an internal issue. There's no need to spend an entire night alone trying to grasp a single concept. Look for alternative resources like recap lessons on YouTube or seek help from a tutor or classmate. Remember, it's okay to acknowledge what doesn't come naturally to you and instead focus on your strengths.

* Realistically, doing your homework and attending class means you're probably not failing. Even if you're not getting the grade you want, it doesn't mean you're headed for failure. Those big tests that carry a significant weight in your grade may impact your GPA, but they don't define the trajectory of your life. Take a moment to reflect on all the times you thought a single grade would ruin everything, yet here you are, still alive and thriving. You've been through challenges before, and you're stronger than you think. Breathe, remind yourself that you're not alone in these thoughts and stresses, and keep pushing forward.

* Make friends and join class group chats. Trust me, these connections are gold. Joining group chats on platforms like GroupMe or Snapchat allows you to ask questions, collaborate on study guides, and realize that you're not alone in this journey. Even if they're not your closest friends, having a support system within your classes can make all the difference.

* Use EFT tapping for anxiety, especially before tests. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping is not only useful for Law purposes, but it can also work wonders for managing anxiety. Check out my pinned guide on how to use EFT tapping. It has personally helped me immensely, and I hope it does the same for you.

* Work smarter, not harder. The truth is, those who seem to breeze through school while partying every night still manage to graduate and pass just like everyone else. The key is finding shortcuts, utilizing the vast resources available on the internet, and working smarter, not harder. Embrace technology, explore online study tools, and leverage the power of the internet as your greatest friend in this journey.

Here are some free recourses:

Math and Science

1. MathMagic Lite: This app lets you write any mathematical expressions and various scientific symbols easily

2. Equatio: A powerful equation editor that makes it easy to create digital, accessible maths

3. Microsoft Mathematics: Can be used to write mathematical expressions, solve equations, and plot graphs

4. Desmos Scientific Calculator & Graphing Calculator: Utility apps for students and teachers for calculations and graph plotting

5. WolframAlpha: A computational search engine that can solve a wide variety of problems, especially useful for math and science

Article/Video Summarization

6. Smmry: A website that summarizes articles for you

7. TLDR This: A browser extension for quick article summarization

8. Inshorts: An app providing news in 60 words or less

9. Listenable: Converts articles into short audio files

Note-Taking

10. Evernote: A note-taking app where you can jot down thoughts, save things you find online, and even scan physical documents with your phone's camera

11. Microsoft OneNote: Allows for free-form information gathering and multi-user collaboration

12. Notion: An all-in-one workspace where you can write, plan, collaborate, and get organized

Concept Explanation

13. Khan Academy: Offers practice exercises, instructional videos, and a personalized learning dashboard that empower learners to study at their own pace in and outside of the classroom

14. Coursera: Provides universal access to the world’s best education, partnering with top universities and organizations to offer courses online

15. Complexly: A YouTube channel that produces a variety of educational content, including the series Crash Course which covers many different subjects in depth

16. citation machine: you never have to make source citations by yourself. This gives your both in test and citations for your essays and research.

Lastly I’m gonna put all the free resources most colleges offer for free!

Academic Resources

* Online Study Platforms: Websites such as Khan Academy, Coursera, and edX offer free or low-cost courses on a variety of subjects that can supplement your coursework.

* Academic Advising Centers: Most colleges have an academic advising center where students can get guidance on course selection, degree requirements, and academic planning.

* Writing Centers: Writing centers provide assistance with writing assignments, including proofreading, editing, and helping with citations.

* Library Research Databases: Your college library likely subscribes to a number of research databases (like JSTOR, EBSCO, and ProQuest) that can provide access to academic journals, books, and other resources.

2. Career Resources

* Career Centers: These centers offer career counseling, resume reviews, interview preparation, and job search assistance.

* Internship and Co-op Programs: Many colleges have programs that help students find internships or co-op positions in their field of interest.

* LinkedIn Learning: This platform offers courses on a variety of career-related topics, including networking, resume writing, and job interviewing.

3. Mental Health and Wellness Resources

* Counseling Centers: Most colleges offer free or low-cost mental health services to students, including individual therapy, group sessions, and workshops.

* Fitness Centers: Regular exercise is important for both physical and mental health. Most colleges have fitness centers that offer a variety of workout options.

* Mindfulness and Meditation Apps: Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations that can help reduce stress and improve mental health.

4. Financial Aid Resources

* Financial Aid Office: Your college's financial aid office can provide information on scholarships, grants, work-study opportunities, and student loans.

* FAFSA: The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is the key to accessing federal financial aid, including grants, work-https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/712878654521262080/everything-eft-tapping?source=share funds, and loans.

* Scholarship Search Engines: Websites like Fastweb and Scholarships.com can help you find scholarships that you may be eligible for.

Other questions I got

Q: How did you manifest graduating early?

A: Graduating early was always a desire deep within me. I didn't realize it was on track to manifest until I had a meeting with my advisor. Interestingly, when I found out it was happening, I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I would be. It made me realize that desires can change as we grow and evolve. So, if something you once desired doesn't bring you the same joy anymore, it's perfectly okay. Life is all about evolving and embracing new desires.

Q: What affirmations do you use?

A: Since I had a multitude of desires in various aspects of my life, I found it tiring to have a separate affirmation for each one. So, I opted for general affirmations that encompassed all areas of my life. For example, I would affirm statements like "I am the luckiest person alive," "Everything works out my way," and "I always get my desires." These affirmations can be applied to all aspects of life, including school. The key is to find affirmations that resonate with you and create a positive mindset.

Q: How do you manage the law/shifting and school?

A: As I mentioned earlier, integration is the key! You don't have to view manifestation or shifting as something separate from your school life. Instead, incorporate these practices seamlessly into your daily routine. The goal is to make it a part of your lifestyle without feeling like it's an extra burden or sacrifice. For example, if a certain method, like wbtb lucid dreaming, is disrupting your sleep schedule, consider switching to other methods like subliminals or reality checks. You can still set intentions before going to bed, which will be effective without compromising your sleep. Find what works best for you and strike a balance between school, manifestation, and your mental health

Q: What to do if affirmations don’t work:

A:maybe you don’t think with words. I’m more of a visual person and will always believe and like images more than words. I would just imagine my grades always being an A. No matter what, no matter if I failed a test or forgot to submit a homework even if I failed everything I still got an A! If you don’t like to visualize then change your wording to how you naturally speak. Maybe you don’t even like affirmations, it’s really different for everyone.

Q:I don’t want to go to this college but I still have to apply, is that affecting living in the end:

A: nope I don’t think taking action or not taking action affects anything If you’re living in the end. Just because you apply doesn’t mean you’ll get in simply because you took the action. Do what you have to do it doesn’t matter if you’re living your 3D life but know imagination is your true reality. If you’re a billionaire and sleep in a homeless shelter that doesn’t take away from the fact you’re a billionaire. Who knows why you’re at a homeless shelter and who knows why you’re applying for college. It doesn’t dictate anything.

Q:I needed to get into the void before college but now I’m here without my dream life and I hate it. What do I do:

A: well it’s happened so take a deep breath. You can still master the void, in fact you already have you’re just being silly and want a funny humbling story. There is no better time than now to be delulu. When you’re trying to escape something and it passes accept it and make it your bitch tbh. honestly keeping busy definitely helped me in my journey anyways, but I did provide tips above so you have free time because you shouldn’t just be immersed in school. For example when I was poor, it was because I needed a humbling back story because no one likes people born into wealth. I’m assuming you still want to be in college, and yea, it’s just cool to have started from the bottom before you become that It girl. That’s your choice and your truth but now you’re done with being humble so go tap into the void.

Q: what’s your perspective on manifesting a perfect life. like nothing bad ever happens but also having a good life with just minor challenges (nothing too big) and I don’t wanna normalize suffering bc who wants to suffer?

A: ok this had a school ask but that was just the gist of it. anyways not that my opinion matters first and foremost. But I think that’s great. Who wants to suffer… exactly. You know I like being human, but I did not like my human experience before Loa. I do like challenges, I like growth, I like not being perfect, and I like being happy and getting what I want too! you can still have all those human aspects and manifest everything you desire. Mary Sues do don’t exist because humanity exists. Don’t worry about it. Your life won’t feel stagnant or unreal or something, I promise

Ok sorry this came out longer than I expected but I had a lot to say. I hope that answers all the asks I’ve been getting ! You all got this, college, your manifesting journey, your anxiety, all of it. All of your dreams & desires are within your reach (right in front of you !!!) so go for it and still live your best life <3!

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #my asks #void state #shiftblr #reality shifting #school #hot girl scholar 👩‍🏫 #college

[111angelstheme111]

𝐀 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥—𝐈𝐧 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥

DEFINITION— Simply put, ‘that girl’ is who everyone wants to be. She’s healthy, knows her priorities, and most importantly, she puts herself first. She is determined and sets her goals straight, no one can distract her and she knows she’s bound to achieve whatever she wants. 

STEP 1— Set A Goal

As previously mentioned, that girl is the epitome of determination, a true girlboss and she knows exactly what she wants and stops at nothing to get it. Now, let's take a moment to envision her daily routine and lifestyle. Picture how she's always striving toward one goal or another, whether they’re academic or fitness achievements, she’s always in constant motion with an occasional break. 

Here's the exciting part: those qualities you admire so much, you can make them your own. You can turn those aspirations into your reality. It's not about copying her, but rather drawing inspiration from her and crafting your unique path to success.

So, take a list and start setting milestones. Imagine the perfect girl and write down everything you admire about her. Is it her perfect grades? Her body fitness? How she’s never procrastinating? Her time-management skills? Determination? Write it all down!

Now, with everything written down. You’re going to make these points of hers into yours. You’re going to stay committed and actively pursue these qualities until you find yourself in a place you once deemed remarkable. 

STEP 2— Plan Your Success

In this stage, you might be a little overwhelmed. There are things you want to work on but you don’t know which one to choose, or whether you have the time to do so. But don’t worry, because it’s all about choosing your priorities and having to manage your time. 

The first thing you want to do is get a journal or you can use Notion/Google Calendar if you’re lazy like me. Then, write down all of your fixed schedules (like classes, tuition, or part-time) and make out at least an hour at the end of each weekday. 

Ask yourself specific questions to clarify your priorities. Is your main goal to get fit or have an academic comeback? Or do you want to focus on both fitness and your studies?

Build your schedule around your key goals. This means you should prioritise and allocate time for the most important objectives or ambitions you have in mind. 

 !!⠀if you’re having trouble with making up a schedule, feel free to dm me/send in an ask. I’ll be more than willing to help ♡︎

STEP 3— True Competition Is Determination and Discipline

It’s not about how much you’re doing in a period of time, in the end, you’re going to be burnt out and tired. It’s more about how consistent you are. Yes, it might get tiring at one point; and that is when you slow down and cut yourself some slack while keeping the drive going.

You are really training your discipline instead of running on motivation that is bound to run out. That’s why you don’t see ‘that girl’ everywhere. Because everyone lacks discipline and commitment, they’re afraid of being in uncomfortable situations and would rather mindlessly scroll on tiktok than really challenge themselves.

Working on a goal is all about determination. It tests how badly you want it and how much you’re willing to sacrifice for it. But let me tell you, your sacrifices will never be a waste.

STEP 4— Breaks Are Part of The Process

What I hate seeing the most is how people work non-stop with no breaks. If your goal is to be burnt out within a or two week, feel free to be my guest and do what you’ve got to. Your body and mind is not a machine, because you are human and you deserve breaks. 

Whether that is self-care nights, going out with friends, or literally just laying in bed and watching Netflix. You choose your breaks and how often you get them. But be careful not to get carried away and lose sight of your milestones (because I’ve fallen into this trap once too many times).

In the end, balance is key! You want to be on the grind, and still be able to maintain connections and have fun. If you’re capable of finding your balance, let me tell you you’re just on your way to success. 

TIPS— 

ꕤ Romanticise The Hell Out of The Process 

One of the best advice I can give is literally romanticise everything. Get cute stationaries to study with, dress up all pretty just to go study at a cafe/wear your pretty pink gym outfits, listen to songs that put you into the mood, or imagine yourself as the main character of your movie to success (I use this sometimes when I’m really desperate and also bc I’m a delulu).

ꕤ Don't oversleep on weekends; wake up early to make the most of your time.

Tbh I get low-key annoyed when people sleep in during the weekends because of the time wasted you could’ve used to get ahead of others!! 

ꕤ Use Social Media To Your Advantage

I’m never one to be against social media unless you’re not using it to your advantage. For example, your tiktok feed is most probably about trendy videos and memes. But, why not make your feed about motivation, videos that educate you on certain matters and actually bring you knowledge? 

ꕤ Take Inspirations/Motivations From Others

I’m personally a pretty competitive person so looking at people who received Academic Achievers awards really pisses me off and makes me motivated to study harder lol. Try to find your tick and make use of it.

Now that you’ve finished reading this post, it’s time to set your mind on your goals and girlboss your way to it. So my angels, good luck and don’t stop working until you are her.

#self love #self care #that girl #self healing #school #studyspo #studying #studyblr #study motivation #self growth #self help #self improvement #girlblogger #girlblogging #it girl #clean girl #mental health #glow up #wonyoungism #becoming that girl #it girl energy #pink pilates princess #pink pilates girl #self development #motivation #wellness #study aesthetic #study blog #feminine energy #divine feminine

[ladystardust-thinks]

high-achiever - e.u.

Request by: @stilessbaseballbat

Hello! Can I request an imagine with Eggsy where him and the reader are appointed to train the newbies, but they become too competitive and split the group in two - One is Eggsys group and the two the readers. They make a bed which group will pass the Kingsman training? (you can choose who wins and what the loser is going to have to do)

Eggsy Unwin x Fem!Reader

A/N: It hasn't been long since I got that request. Sure. I totally didn't have it in my wips since forever. Anyway, I feel a little boring because of the choice I made on who wins but eh it's okay. It was like 4am. I'm proud of the OCs though 'cause I think they're pretty lovable. (aka I love them and they're my pretty little babies so you also have to love them, no pressure.)

Any feedback, is good feedback!! Correct me on anything you think is wrong.

word count: 2.1k

Tags/Warnings: She/Her pronouns!!, Jealous Reader if you squint really hard, kinda ooc eggsy?, OC x OC, reader is an overachiever, bad writing? English is not my first language, I learned it entirely out of social media, mention of a dog being shot (but not really), mention of reader having a dog (again, only if you squint.), Use of Y/N

"Gawain! Get up!" Eggsy's voice echoes loudly through the woman's house as he swings all the curtains wide open. She winces at the sudden light and curses the boy through her teeth.

"Y'know Galahad, I have heard rumours about people saying good morning as a greeting. Also that is a total violation of privacy. Do you know that? It's important to me that you know that." The girl whines shoving her tired body towards the kitchen, pouring coffee in a mug.

"Good morning, Gawain." Eggsy pauses. "Alright, now, the trainees list just came in and Merlin told me we are to train them. So take a look at it." He pushes the papers towards her and she takes a sip from her coffee, not making an attempt to take the papers. She looks up at Eggsy like he had killed her whole family.

"Why are you all that excited?" She asks rhetorically, not waiting for an answer. "Well, first of all I've been there and it's interesting to see newbies in my position and second of all it's going to be something to add to my successes. I'm high already but I am aiming higher."

He answers in a matter-of-factly tone and sits opposite to the girl. "What makes you think you are going to be all that good at it. I mean I am going to be there sure but-" She was rudely cut off.

"Are you implying you are better than me, Gawain?" The agent says slowly with a smile forming on his face.

"I wasn't implying anything, actually. I thought that was obvious. But before you rudely cut me off and-" She grunts in annoyance. Yet again being interrupted. She didn't like being interrupted.

"Then we can put it to the test. Drink your coffee and get dressed we are going to HQ." He states and starts wandering around the house, almost too comfortable, opening her closet and pulling out her suit, throwing it on her bed.

"You're doing it, again! I don't really appreciate that! And how did you even get inside my house? I never gave you a key. The door was locked, the lock isn't broken. What the bloody hell! You can't just sneak in like that." The woman complains kicking Eggsy out of her room as she starts to change her clothes. "We are Kingsmen, Gawain. Nothing is ever locked." She heard him say behind the door.

***

The newbies were in their cabin and they looked terrified in this sort of fun way. Y/N couldn't help but wonder if she also looked that terrified her first day at HQ. No. She thought. She was too confident. Her friends and family were sure, that was going to be the death of her. She was always sure of herself. Always. She had always been competitive.

Her parents still teased about stuff she'd do when she was little, like crying when she'd land on someone else's property while playing Monopoly.

They didn't even pressure her into all of those academic successes, she just did it.

The competitive part of her - if not her only part - is also what brought her where she is, doing something that Merlin, probably, wouldn't really like. But just like there wasn't one bone in her body that wasn't competitive, there also wasn't one that wasn't a winner.

***

"Do we get to choose who's in our team?" She found herself whispering at Eggsy while the newbies conversed with one another. "If you have your eye on someone that you think would make it easier, then no." He answers nonchalantly.

"Damn it." She swears under her breath, disappointed. "But we could choose eachothers teams. Like I choose yours, you choose mine." He murmurs.

"Okay. Then I'm giving you Marie." She says checking the document in her hand to make sure she got the name right. "Why Marie?" Eggsy asks, genuinely curious. "I don't know she seems annoying, she'd talk your ear of and get you distracted."

"Oh. Well that's good, because I actually think she's quite-"

"Then no." She changes her mind and shakes her head, her eyes still at the trainees looking over the cabin like lost puppies.

The blonde smirks, he marks his coworker's initials next to 'Marie Brown' on his own document. "Marie?" He says looking at the group of people right in front of him, searching with his eyes for the short redhead. "Yes." She speaks up. "You're with Gawain." He states.

The girl sprinted towards the, not-so-thrilled, agent excitedly. She smiled with all her teeth and squealed, standing tall, next to her.

She threw a sarcastic, tight lipped smile smile her way, then turned to look at Eggsy, the grimace never leaving her face. He just tried to hide his giggles under his breath and smiled, looking only forward because he knew if he turned to look at the woman's expression, he'd break down in laughter.

Marie grasped her mentor's shoulder proudly and Y/N's eyes widened but Eggsy's ability to hold his laugh was only getting worse. She nudged his rib with her elbow and coughed. "Okay, Elliot, with Galahad." She marked the initials G.U. on her document and let a breathy laugh out.

His eyes widened and his eyebrows went up, he turned to look at her and Elliot walked over to him. "Hello, sir." He sniffed and put his hand out for Eggsy to shake. His voice was shaky. Eggsy looked at him, then back at his sweaty hand and shook it.

Elliot let go from Eggsy's hand and wipped his hands on his uniform, fixing it and clearing his throat, as he walks next to Eggsy.

"He does realize that we are almost the same age and I am not his teacher, right?" The agent turns to Y/N and she snorts shortly. "Dont be mean," she says quietly "that's my job." She continues.

"Well, this is going to be fun." Eggsy mumbles under his breath. Suddenly regretting ever planting the idea of a bet in the girl's head.

***

"Okay, so." She clapped once to get the attention of the newbies. "The next days are going to be full of missions and tests, but you have to keep two things in mind. Always listen to your mentor and of course always look at the bigger picture. You're going to be in danger, multiple times through out this training process. If you look too closely you don't think practical, you think hypothetical. And a Kingsman doesn't have time for hypothetical."

Eggsy found himself staring at the young agent while she spoke with such loyalty and dedication. There was always this on going banter between them, about who is better at this or that, little things. But it had been amusing for him how she took everything so seriously, like she just had to win. Even if that was just an unserious game of rock-paper-scissors. He couldn't help but wonder why she was so competitive, with everyone but especially him, at most times.

That being the only trait they had in common.

How competitive they both were.

In general they we really different, she was serious most of the time and she always went by the rules, more logical than emotional, she'd always follow a good piece of advice. Eggsy was a free-er soul, he is emotional, he gets attached really easily. A smart-ass if she's ever met one. And he had this weird hero complex she could never understand, this 'I'm saving the world.' kind of attitude. She wanted to wipe that smirk of his face, bring him down to earth, shout 'We're all saving the world here!' at him.

***

"Hello there." Agent Gawain told the newbies, wet like cats, seeming miserable.

"What the hell was that?!" Hayley whined, a trainee from Eggsy's team. "That was your first quest, and if it was hot in here you'd be thanking us now." He answered the blonde girl's question.

"What was surprising, something that has never happened before, was that all of you failed. We had to drain the water so you don't drown." Y/N told her trainees. They all looked at eachother awkwardly, ashamed, as the experienced agent put her hands over her chest disappointed.

"Are you kidding me? We almost died for your stupid training and we get scolded like we're little children? I am not dealing with this crap." She got her luggage from under her bed and pushed through Galahad and Gawain so she can leave. Eggsy grimaced, his nose scrunching and his eyes squeezing shut. "She left." He heard a familiar whisper from next to him. "I know." He said. "Okay. Hopefully by the next mission we won't have anyone storming off." He turned to the rest of the group.

***

It had now came down to the final choice. The two final trainees for the decision to be made were, ironically enough, Elliot and Marie.

The trainees were both at different rooms, one across from another. Agents Gawain and Galahad were both leaning on different walls, one across from another.

Both waiting nervously to hear the gunshot from their trainee's gun. The woman made a clicking noise with her tounge as the man constantly tapped his foot against the metal floor. "Nervous, Galahad?" The agent asks the blonde. "Never, Gawain." He answers.

Gunshots are heard from both rooms and the agents let out a breath they didn't know they had been holding, realisation came to them immediately and they locked in eachother's eyes. "Does this mean...?" Eggsy started. "I think so? It hasn't happened to me before." Y/N says confused and both Elliot and Marie come out of the rooms.

"I almost shot my Barney..." Marie says to her mentor with wide eyes, holding her dog close to her chest. "Yup I know, he's alright, Mar." Agent Gawain hugs her trainee, remembering how it felt to even think of shooting Stevie when she went through her own training.

"I- Me too." Elliot says, still shocked. She sees Eggsy over Marie's shoulder, as he sighs, grimacing yet again, questioning and giving two hesitant pats on Elliot's back she couldn't describe as confrontational. She laughs on Marie's shoulder and Eggsy rolls his eyes at her.

"Okay. I mean. Good news is...you're both Kingsmen now. And you have your dogs!"

Y/N says letting Marie go.

"Congratulations on your dedication."

Marie and Elliot start talking and Eggsy discreetly takes his coworker away.

"So it's tie?" He whispers.

"I guess so." She shrugs.

She looks back at Marie and Elliot. Elliot awkwardly laughs as he makes a depressing attempt to touch Marie's arm and she giggles putting some of her hair behind her ear.

"Well that's akward." She says and Eggsy follows her eyes and also looks at the, now, young Kingsmen.

"Let the kids be. They're living their love."

"You're making me have a mid-life crisis before my time, we're like two years older than them."

Eggsy sighs theatrically. "Yes, but they feel like my kids already. Look at them opening their wings."

Gawain rolls her eyes.

"Must be sad for you. Now you can't make a move on Marie." She says sarcastically.

"I just said that so you wouldn't put her on my team. Marie's not really my type."

"What's your type then?"

"I don't know. Witty, smart, boring agents that can't bare losing?"

"Sounds very specific for the sake of 'not knowing'."

"Familiar too doesn't it?" A proud smile plays around Eggsy's lips as he is staring at her.

"Yeah, it does. Thank god my type is annoying, funny, immature agents that I just can't get off my back." She grins.

"I'm pretty hard to get rid of. Would you break a rule, Gawain?"

"Only if I am to break it with such good company, Galahad."

I would love to read your thoughts, i hope you enjoyed the story. Have a gorgeous day. Mwah!

-Shad

#Eggsy x Reader #Eggsy Unwin x reader #Eggsy x Fem!reader #eggsy unwin #eggsy unwin x fem!reader #eggsy unwin x reader #kingsman #kingsman the secret service #taron egerton #taron egerton x reader

[tarotwithlove]

PICK A CARD ೕ what aspect of your life is taking up too much of your attention?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards · two of swords (reversed), ace of pentacles, eight of cups, eight of swords (reversed), the fool (reversed).

songs · my dil goes mmmm by vishal-shekhar. nowadays by leo. cha ching by slayyyter.

my dear group one ♡ you are at a crossroads right now, stagnating as you are made to choose between doing what you love or doing what you need to do. you may be in a relationship at the moment, with someone who you see as a big part of your future; maybe even with someone who you can see settling down and one day marrying.

but now, as you are faced with an academic or career opportunity that could tear you two apart, you are finding yourself only more confused and conflicted than ever. languishing in life because of your inability to choose one or the other.

for some, of course, this is not a romantic connection. instead, you may feel as if you are finally setting down roots in a city and can finally call a place home.

in both cases, this opportunity could uproot your life as you know it… and you want both so badly—the comfort of love and home AND the excitement of an opportunity you had worked so hard for—that now, when it comes time to take action and make a decision, you are unable.

this is the aspect of your life that is taking up too much of your attention, right now. you are so focused on making the right decision that you do not even see which decision is the best one for you. it is important to recenter yourself in this situation, dear. to make yourself the priority as you decide and not the fear of how others will react to your decision. you must also know—and i say this not to scare you, but to make sure you are fully aware—that time is running out. opportunities do not wait for you.

if you continue to put off making this decision, this opportunity will pass you by. would you rather lose out on this because you were too scared to make a decision or let it go because you are deciding to prioritise other things at this point in your life? it’s time to step up, dear, even though it is hard.

in all truth, there is no reason for this to be taking up so much of your time and attention because, if you actually sat down with yourself, you would realise that the decision is far easier to make than you thought.

GROUP TWO

cards · two of wands (reversed), the hermit, two of swords, the tower, the moon.

songs · alien superstar by beyoncé. shattered dreams by earl sweatshirt. bon acteur by lous and the yakuza. 

my dear group two ♡ you are focusing so much on an imagined negative outcome that you do not even see, one, how you may possibly be stunting your very chance to have your desired outcome, and two, all the inklings of divine blessing and guidance by which you are surrounded. 

you may have started to isolate yourself, or to try and convince yourself that you are no longer working towards this big goal, all in a bid to make yourself better in the case that all your plans fail and nothing works out as you have hoped. you want this dream to be a reality, but you are so focused on how it may never be, that you are only pushing it further and further and further away from you.

and not entirely in a “your thoughts create your reality way”… but… don’t they? if you think that your efforts will be wasted, will you give it your all? if you think that faith is futile, will you believe in the possibility of your own success? if you believe that there is no point in hope because everything could just collapse around you at any moment, will you be hopeful even when you don’t see things physically working out in your favour? likely not. 

as things are at this moment, you are the two of swords between the two of wands in reverse with the hermit and the tower with the moon. you cannot know the outcome of either path beyond that one has a future for you, and one does not.

it is time to focus less on chasing after the everyday ordinary and time to start taking concrete steps towards fulfilling this dream, instead of making plans with which you do not follow through. take that acting class, that ballet class, those singing lessons. put on youtube and build a practice of your craft that way. 

dear, it is time to stop standing in your own way. 

GROUP THREE

cards · six of swords (reversed), ace of pentacles, nine of wands, judgement (reversed), death.

songs · hold me like a grudge by fall out boy. bug like an angel by mitski. i am my own muse by fall out boy.

my dear group three ♡ you may be going backwards in your progress, or be at a stage in your journey where you are faced with the often cyclical nature of healing, progress, and your own thoughts. where you are being faced with the truth that “progress is not linear”. your life, at the moment, may feel completely out of your control—especially with regard to money and your future.

right as i typed that sentence, the line, “i’m just trying to keep it together, but it gets a little harder when it never gets better,” from i am my own muse by fall out boy suddenly caught my attention likely because that is the best way to describe your current circumstances as well as how you feel about your current circumstances. 

everything around you feels so out of your control, so you have turned all your attention inward and onto the only thing you know for certain you can control—your body. as well as, to some extent, your self in an entirety.

you may be calling this a wellness, health, or fitness journey, only to be masking the truth that you are slipping into (or slipping back into) some negative habits as you do anything to exert some of that control you so desperately need to have in your life. well, anything to your body and yourself, that is. you may constantly be thinking about your body; what you are eating, how you are looking at any given moment, the weight you have gained and the weight you have lost, and so on and so forth…

there does not seem to be any way out of this cycle for you, likely because you are not allowing yourself to see it as something that could possibly be detrimental to you down the road. or because you are willing to take on the risks if it allows you distraction, control, and the chance of meeting your body goals in equal parts.  

you may say that the risk you are taking is calculated, but only because you are not being entirely honest with yourself about what these risks could potentially be. and that’s not a judgment on you, just the truth. 

GROUP FOUR

cards · page of wands (reversed), nine of pentacles, eight of cups (reversed), ten of cups (reversed), justice. 

songs · no manners by superm. rose by d.o. hypocrates by marina. timeless by nct. 

my dear group four ♡ as soon as i began pulling your cards, what i feel is the most important message came through for you… there is no going back. as much as you hold onto the past, you can never return to it.

as much you regret something you did or something you said or something you let go, there is nothing that simply wallowing in melancholy will do.

you are so focused on the past, but you cannot live there. your life is happening around you now, and it is a life that you are, to an extent, missing out on because of how much more attention you are paying to people, places, and situations that have passed. 

it is time, dear, to make peace with the past and the life you could not have—which, for some, is a relationship with a specific person. making peace is not easy… oftentimes it comes with having to be honest with yourself in ways you never want to be.

but it is time to take action so that you may live your life in the present once more. and action will look different for every person; for some, it may be trying again, for some it may be confrontation, for some, it may be walking away onto better things. and while it will differ from person to person, the truth is that thinking about the past without doing anything about it is not doing you any favours. 

you may come out on the other end with fresh eyes, seeing the people around you for who they are and not the ideas of who they are that you have been holding on to. 

whatever the outcome, dear, it is time to make peace with the past and the life you wish you could have lived so that you may live the life that is unfolding around you at this very moment.  

#** #tarot #pac #pick a card #pick a group #pick an image #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo #tarotblr #tarotonline #tarotcommunity #daily tarot #free tarot reading #tarot readings #channelled message #channeled message

[hugheses]

love your scholarship 🥸

do you know anything about their school/college days - ie if they liked school/had favourite subjects/took particular classes? if Quinn and Luke declared majors at mich?

also if they’ve ever said what they read? think I read that Jack says he likes to read (sports books maybe?) in his spare time and one in of Ellen’s interviews she talks about reading (to them?) and somewhere else about how she was super involved in their academics

The teacher in me is fascinated!

quinn was enrolled in the school of kinesiology and majoring in sports management.

in 2021 he said

If you weren’t a hockey player, what else might you be doing? — Veronica X. I don’t know, I love golf. I’d probably be golfing a lot. I’d be in school somewhere … I’d be a senior right now so I’d probably be getting my degree in the next couple of weeks. Maybe business or sport management? That’s what I was looking at at Michigan for two years.

luke's intended major was also sports management. he was taking a business management class and fumbled his part on a group project when he signed with the devils. he took a greek sports history class and talked about how he doesn't love school but he likes history here (worth listening to imo) and he also enjoyed history of college athletics. luke actually took an online college class before officially starting at umich

"I'm taking an online chemistry class to get it off my plate. I wake-up and do two hours of that and then I go and work out with [trainer] Brian Gallivan and then I skate and then just chill by the pool and hang out. It's been nice."

here's a snippet from quinn about books

Hughes has become an avid reader to expand his knowledge and make better use of downtime. He recently completed “The Boys in the Boat” historical epic that was made into a movie directed by George Clooney. “I buried it, it’s done,” Hughes proudly stated Tuesday after practice. “I finished it three weeks ago. Great book. Page turner. I’m reading ‘Moneyball’ now.” “Boys in the Boat” is a riveting and true account of how the Depression-era University of Washington junior varsity rowing team stunned the world by overcoming immense odds to capture gold at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin. Joe Rantz was a driving force for the eight-man crew. A strong rower with an unshakeable disposition sounds a lot like the driven Hughes. “I thought Joe was just a hard worker who did his job and was a quiet guy,” said Hughes. “He appreciated everything that came his way. He pretty much raised himself from the age of 10 and was a very outdoors person.”

he apparently is "reading a book almost weekly to try to improve his brain" and he also was spotted reading Stay Sane in an Insane World: How to Control the Controllables and Thrive

jack likes reading sports books as said here, specifically Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success and Three-Ring Circus: Kobe, Shaq, Phil, and the Crazy Years of the Lakers Dynasty. The Mamba Mentality: How I Play was on his reading list in high school. he also talks about books here

Craig: The other thing that (Williams) said was reading. He said you’re asking for book recs. We’re looking for book recs. We’re big readers. Jack: Yeah, you guys got any? I dunno. (I’m tired of) everything on my phone, social media, things like that — and I never went to college, so you gotta get smarter somehow. Craig: Are you a fiction guy? Are you a self-improvement guy? What do you find yourself gravitating towards? Jack: I read a lot of sports books. “Eleven Rings,” by Phil Jackson. Also, “Greenlights” by Matthew McConaughey. Those are my favorite ones I’ve read recently. It’s important. We’ve got a lot of down time on the road, so it’s good stuff.

as for ellen, she said this in the cammi & aj podcast

So for me, you do things that you enjoy or you- you teach them things that you feel like you can teach them, Right. So it's kind of a slight on me that I wasn't more worldly and wanting to take them to museums. Or maybe like I felt like I had do those things because like, ‘Oh my God, what am I teaching them?’ But you tend to do the things that you - you're trying to find activities. Jimmy was off coaching a lot, I had three young boys that were really close in age. So what do I know? What can I do to pass time and keep them active? It was kicking a soccer ball. It was throwing a ball, it was doing rollerblading, it was passing the puck, it was taking them skating. So for me, those were mommy and me activities, right? And then every once in a while I'd be like, you know, I'd be like, ‘uh, we got to do Kumon, we gotta do like - we gotta read.’ You know, academics was really important to me because I felt like I was so driven the other way that like, I didn’t want to miss out on the other. So for us, it was never this grandiose plan, and I'm sure you guys were the same way. It was more like, ‘be the best at whatever it is you're doing, work your hardest at whatever it is you're doing.’ Working the hardest didn't mean scoring the most goals. It was playing the right way, whatever it is, being a great teammate and working really, really hard and we always felt like the other would come.

other potentially interesting notes, jack was an honor roll student in 8th grade, and quinn agreed he was the best at school when they were younger, so it's funny he's the one who didn't end up going to college. ellen's brother is actually the president of denison university and they have some pretty academic cousins also.

#also thank u for saying u love my scholarship 🥹 #answered

[ros3ybabe]

August 15th, 2023 🎀

My university resumes classes tomorrow! I am so excited to really begin and solidify my morning routine and get back into the school mindset and grind. I'm really planning on being successful this semester.

With the new semester starting, I figure it's time to set out some new goals and things I want to accomplish this semester.

Fall Semester Goals 🌸

🩷 Academic Goals -

Pass every class with an A, no exceptions. I took on an easy class load for a reason.

Join 1 or 2 clubs. There's a club related to my major that I'm looking into, as well as a kpop club and a Japanese club that I'm looking into joining if I have the ability to.

Put effort into my classes. Don't miss class without a solid, valid excuse. Actually study and review class material outside of lectures. Ask questions in class and don't be afraid to go to office hours or tutoring.

🩷 Personal Goals

Stick to a consistent morning routine! Workout, journal, read, make my bed, skincare, etc. Consistency builds confidence.

Pamper myself regularly. For me, this means the occasional retail therapy moment and getting my nails done every 4 to 6 weeks. I don't normally get my nails due to the nature of my job, but if I keep my nails short and not too flashy, it'll be great! My first appointment is at the end of this week, and I'm excited! The picture of nails I included is actually how I'm getting mine done!!

Routinely attend appointments. That includes lab work, therapy, psych, dental, and general physician appointments. My health is a priority, and I want to make sure I stay on top of it this semester.

🩷 Social Goals

Attend study group sessions when applicable

Again, join a club or two. It's the best way to make friends with similar interests.

Attend social networking events on my campus. They have career fairs and professional fairs all the time. As a junior in university, I think it's time I start building some connections for future internship and career opportunities.

I also have some physical goals, but I will not be including those here as to not accidentally trigger anyone. I don't have particular deadlines for any of the goals I mentioned, but I feel like it's important to have these goals so I know the direction I want my semester to go in.

I'm really excited for this semester. It's time I put my best foot forward and succeed. I know I can do this. My GPA will increase, I will recieve more scholarships, and I will pass everything with high marks. I believe in myself.

To everyone also beginning their semesters, good luck!! I wish you all the best success in every way and that you all thoroughly enjoy everything these next few months bring!

Til next time, lovelies !! 🩷

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self development #self love #wonyoungism #health & fitness #it girl #mental health #physical health #school #college studyblr #girly stuff #student #student life #studyblr #study aesthetic #pink aesthetic #vanilla girl #green juice girl #that girl energy #that girl #it girl energy #clean girl #wonyoung #kpop #pink academia #pink blog #pink moodboard #coquette

[elonomhblog]

the importance of balance in academia

balance is SO IMPORTANT in every aspect of life, but so often students sacrifice it in order to achieve high-level grades. balance is a critical factor that contributes to both personal well-being and academic success. many myths exist that build this lack of balance in the academic world, so let's debunk some of them.

working long hours guarantees advancement who told you this? seriously? the number of hours worked does not necessarily correlate with productivity or career success. quality of work matters more than quantity. you should try to prioritize efficiency and well-being over excessive hours.

life must be compartmentalized separating work and personal life rigidly isn’t always feasible. embrace flexibility. sometimes school/work and life blend, and that’s okay. focus on being present wherever you are.

you can have it all this is a big goal of a lot of people. i hate to break it to you, but you're NEVER going to have it all. balancing everything perfectly is challenging. prioritize what truly matters to you. accept that some trade-offs are necessary.

time management solves everything another lie that's commonly believed. yes, time management helps but IT WILL NOT SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. time management alone won’t guarantee balance. it’s about making conscious choices, not just managing the clock.

technology frees up more time/technology wastes time technology can both help and hinder balance. you must learn how to use technology wisely; and not let it consume your life. always disconnect when needed.

academic stress arises when a student’s existing capacity to manage and adapt to academic demands is exceeded. it encompasses mental distress related to expected academic challenges, fear of failure, or even the possibility of academic failure. you can prevent it by learning about your stressors, changing what you can, moderating your emotional reactions and practising physical responses to stress (e.g. mindful breathing). remember, academic stress is normal, but managing it effectively is essential for your overall well-being and success. prioritize self-care, seek help when needed, and find a healthy balance.

one thing that you're going to have to learn in order to become more balanced on your academic journey is to drop perfectionism. you may think that it has helped you get to where you are,, that it motivates you and keeps you going. these are lies. you must find new ways to motivate yourself that are not harmful.

for example, learning how to evolve whilst accepting that you are still growing and that you are just a person will get you to the same places, without the detrimental effects. perfectionists tend to have an all-or-nothing mindset and experience feelings of inadequacy due to toxic comparison. in being a perfectionist, your creativity may dwindle, as well as health implications arising and relationship strain.

if you don't believe me -- take a look at the article here.

but HOW can you manage balance in academia?

prioritize and plan though time management will not save you by itself, it is a great skill and very helpful. create a weekly schedule that allocates time for BOTH academic and personal activities. prioritize essential tasks and set realistic goals to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

set boundaries establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. make time to go out with your school friends outside of schoolwork! you have to be mindful, however, that it impossible to have a perfect divide or balance. we are humans; we are messy; life is messy.

self-care make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones. prioritize physical and mental health alongside academic commitments.

be flexible recognize that there will be times when your work demands more of your time and attention. adapt to changing circumstances while maintaining a balance.

build a support system i can't stress this enough! having people around you --even if you're writing your stressors on an anonymous blog-- is so vital to academic success. foster personal relationships and build a network of colleagues and friends who understand the challenges of academia. seek advice and support from mentors and peers.

effective communication communicate openly with colleagues, supervisors, and family members about your commitments and limitations. negotiate the workload when necessary. i remember in primary school (sixth grade, to be precise) when my teacher gave me extra homework to 'push me'. it took so much time away from me. as a twelve-year-old, i was able to talk to her and we agreed that i would simply just do the extension homework (instead of double work) so that i would have more time to play. this shit works!

utilize technology leverage technology for efficiency. use tools for time management, collaboration, and communication. if you get too distracted by technology, block the sites. delete the apps. do whatever you have to do to make it a tool. you can always re-download when you're finished. you can always call a friend during the breaks.

i think one of the most significant things to learn, ever, is that all of your actions/strategies are a double edged sword. they can either hurt you or help you. you have to decide which side you use.

achieving balance is an ongoing process, and you have to learn what works best for you--everyone is different. always strive for a healthier equilibrium. i promise you that it will be better for your wellbeing; your soul.

luck on your academic journey.

❤️ joanne

#elonomh #elonomhblog #student #academia #chaotic academia #study blog #student life #productivity #that girl #becoming that girl #studying #100 days of studying #grad student #stem academia #stem student #stemblr #study #study aesthetic #study hard #study inspiration #study motivation #study inspo #study notes #study tips #study with me #study space #studyblr #studyblr community #studyabroad #studygram