#i hate that it makes me feel extra lonely though

[stylesharrys]

special brownies [weedrry]

summary: harry and y/n accidentally eat their roommates special brownies.

warnings: mentions and use of weed (edibles), being high, swearing, kissing, biting, unprotected sex, bit of dirty talk.

word count: 2,396

a/n: i came up with this idea very randomly and i have written it as fast as i possibly could lmao anyway, the whole thing is about accidentally getting stoned, so if that makes you uncomfortable, please don't read! if it doesn't, enjoy <333

//

It’s been a long week and Y/N is feeling it. Between classes and shifts at the cafe, her feet are sore and her mind is tired. She wants nothing more than to cuddle up on the sofa with a good tv show and pass the fuck out.

And tonight is supposed to be her lucky night. Tom has a night shift and Harry has a hot date. No boys, no roommates, no interruptions.

There’s just something about knowing she’s got the flat to herself all night long, and she can lounge about like the lazy girlie her heart yearns to be.

She starts with a long, relaxing her aching body in the hot soapy water until her skin begins to prune. Y/N takes extra time to moisturise her body and brush her hair. Even treats herself to a face mask while she does so.

When she leaves the bathroom, it’s almost 7 p.m. and Tom has already left for work. The apartment is clean, and most importantly, quiet.

She’s a bit too excited in her movement to the sofa, a squeal slipping from her lips. Too caught up in her head, she doesn’t notice Harry leaning against his bedroom door, arms folded across his chest.

It’s not until he clears his throat that Y/N jumps out of her little happy dance with a scream. A smirk sits on his lips, amused by the way she scowls at him.

“What the hell are you doing here! You’re supposed to be out on a date!”

Her tone is accusing, pointer finger jabbing at the air in his direction. She notices his attire; grey shorts and a white hoodie. Y/N’s shoulders slump.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she huffs.

“What? I thought you liked hanging out with me?” Harry follows her to the sofa, sitting on  the opposite end of her.

Y/N crosses her arms furiously. “I do! But I was so excited to have the flat to myself for just one night.”

Harry’s brows are raised suggestively, that sick fucking smirk on his lips again. Y/N lunges a pillow at his face. “Not for those reasons, you perv.”

He barks out a laugh, hugging the pillow close to his chest as he props his feet up and on Y/N’s lap. He watches how her bottom lip pouts out and his face softens.

“Look, if you want me to fuck off out for the evening, I can.” Harry offers.

She scoffs. “That is what you were supposed to be doing.” A moment of silence passes and she sighs. “Sorry, that came out rude. I'm not about to kick you out of your own flat – though I am going to force you to watch the last three episodes of The Rookie with me.”

Harry makes no attempt to hide the groan that follows her words. It’s not that he doesn’t like the show, it’s that he hates the show. He’ll never understand Y/N’s weird obsession with emergency services.

First, it was Criminal Minds, then a month later she binge watched 9-1-1 Lone Star in six days. Now she’s on the newest season of The Rookie and he’s sure she only started season one at the beginning of the month?

“Do we have to?” he grumbles.

Y/N throws another pillow at him. “Yes. You’re the one interrupting my night, you could at least do it quietly… and with snacks.”

Her voice trails off at the end of her sentence and Harry has to bite back a grin. She could never be mad at Harry, she loves him and his company far too much. Tom, on the other hand… yeah, she would definitely be mad if it was him crashing her lazy girl night.

Harry stands from the sofa, wandering through to the kitchen. He grabs two bottles of water in one hand and scans his eyes through the cupboards in search for a suitable snack.

They’ve not been shopping for a few days, so there’s only some dry crackers, a half-eaten bag of cashew nuts (ew, Tom), and granola. Harry contemplates ubering some cookies and milkshakes when his eyes land on a bakery box on top of the microwave.

He squints as he reads the writing on the top of the box.

Tom’s. DO NOT EAT!

Harry flips the lid, six thick slices of dewey chocolate brownies. They’re like fucking slabs… he’s sure Tom won’t mind if he and Y/N share just one between them.

He pops a (massive) slice on a plate and toddles back to the kitchen. The show is paused on the opening scene, Y/N shuffled to get comfortable on the sofa. She raises a brow at the snack in question.

“We’re sharing a brownie?”

Harry huffs as he sits. “S’all we’ve got in the kitchen, and they’re Tom’s. Didn’t wanna take the piss when his little sticky note clearly says DO NOT TOUCH!”

Y/N snorts, breaking the brownie in half and handing Harry the bigger slice. She takes a bite, face screwing slightly.

“These taste a little funny… nutmeg, maybe?”

She turns to Harry who doesn’t say anything and still hasn’t taken the brownie. The look on his face irks her. She huffs, swallowing. “I feel bad that your date cancelled on you.”

His eyebrows almost raise to his hairline. “And what makes you think she was the one to cancel?”

“Was she?” Y/N asks.

Harry takes the brownie with a sigh. “Yeah.”

//

They can’t stop fucking giggling.

The show is long forgotten about, has been for the past thirty minutes. They’re both feeling warm. Harry stripped from his jumper and Y/N changed into some little shorts and one of Harry’s baggy t-shirts.

Neither of them know where this amusement came from, but there is absolutely no calming either of them down. They’re sneakily sharing a second slice of Tom’s brownies; eyes on the door in case for some reason, he comes home an hour after his shift has started.

“They taste so weird, but I can’t stop eating it.”

Harry chokes out a laugh, eyes welling with tears because he just finds Y/N so fucking funny tonight.

She’s a mess too, eyes squinted and shoulders hunched as she laughs uncontrollably. They’re both crossed-legged on the living room floor, knees knocking gently.

The more she chews, the more she begins to recognise that unfamiliar taste… the way it lingers on her tongue. Her laughter slows for a moment, as if realisation is beginning to dawn on her.

She stares at Harry with wide eyes and parted lips, mouth still full.

“Oh, my god.”

“What?”

“They’re fucking weed brownies!”

Harry can’t breathe, struggles to look away from the fear and shock on Y/N’s face. His whole body begins to shake with laughter and Y/N finds herself following.

“Harry, it’s not funny!” she shrieks. “This is so bad, Harry.”

She’s laughing through her words. Even she can’t take herself seriously in this state.

“D’you wanna play Just Dance?”

Harry’s words only make her laugh harder. The remainder of her brownie is thrown at his naked torso. Harry wastes no time to tackle her to the ground, hovering between her legs as he tickles her sides.

He's blowing raspberries on her neck, eliciting loud cackles from her mouth. Y/N tugs at his hair, her legs flailing around his hips when he nips at the skin on her throat.

They don’t say anything. She continues to chuckle, and Harry continues to bite.

Their laughter has fizzled out into breathy giggles. Neither of them are sure when Harry’s bites turned into kisses. When their fingers became intertwined. When her legs closed around his middle.

And neither of them say a fucking thing about it.

Harry’s lips travel up her neck and across her jaw. She finds his mouth feverishly, nothing but tongue and teeth but to the pair of them, it’s the best kiss they’ve ever had.

They’re needy, hot and wanton all of a sudden. Like a switch has been flipped and they’re clinging to one another like lifelines.

Harry holds her hands above her head, fingers tangled. He’s hard, rock hard. Pressing into Y/N’s tiny fucking shorts so much he’s sure he can feel her arousal through both of their clothes.

He ruts against her, testing the waters. The moan he receives sends all blood down south. He’s always known sex to be incredible when you’re high. The thought of him sharing it with her? God, he could bust there and then.

He releases her hands so he can feel up her thighs, skin hot and smooth. Their lips don’t separate, not once. She lets her hands fall into his curls, nails scratching at his scalp and she tugs at the roots.

Harry’s moaning into her mouth, eager and desperate for more. He takes her shorts off quickly and strategically. So quickly that she doesn’t notice until she feels a cool breeze between her thighs.

Y/N’s eyes roll to the back of her head, more than ready for whatever the fuck he wants to do to her.

They haven’t hesitated, not once. Not until Harry's hands are at the waistband of his shorts and he wonders if he should grab a condom or just go down on her. He knows she’s on the pill, just like they both know they’re both clean.

Harry gets tested once a month and Y/N doesn’t sleep around.

She answers his inner turmoil for him and tugs his shorts down the best she can. Harry breaks the kiss for a split second to tug his shorts to his knees. He’s back to kissing her as quickly as he pulled away, tongue against hers. Hot and messy.

Y/N feels his tip twitch against her clit, an airy sigh echoing into Harry’s mouth. He lets his fingers swirl around her wetness, smearing it across her smooth cunt and coating his thick shaft in her arousal.

They’re panting messes, eager, desperate and horny.

When he lines himself at her entrance, she locks her legs around his waist. Harry bumps forward, a shrill cry slipping from between their lips at the sensation of one another.

Harry wants to give her a moment to adjust, but Y/N doesn’t. She wants it hot and hard. She wants the pain. She wants to feel every fucking inch of him.

She probably should’ve warned Harry how she gets when she’s high. How much of a whiny, cock-hungry whore she can become. Then again, how was she supposed to know they’d accidentally eat their roommates special brownies?

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Harry chokes as he bottoms out.

Y/N’s struggling to catch her breath but she’s never loved the burn in her lungs more. “Fuck me, H.”

He twitches inside her. “Fuck me hard.”

His hips begin to roll, cock nuzzling itself deep inside her. He can feel everything. Every bump, dip, swell. God, she’s fucking soaked, leaking down to the floor but neither of them care.

Harry slowly begins to quicken his pace, arms bent at the elbows either side of Y/N’s head to prop himself up. She doesn’t loosen her legs around his hips. She needs him as close as he can possibly get.

Even his cock buried to the brim in her cunt isn’t enough. She needs his soul touching hers.

“You’re so fucking tight.”

“Yeah?” she breathes. “You gonna fuck my tight cunt, baby? Fuck me like you own me.”

He can’t believe his fucking ears. He’s always found Y/N attractive, but never in his wildest fucking dreams did he expect her to be this goddamn filthy.

Harry loves it.

His thrusts grow harsher. She has no time to catch her breath between hits, her mouth in a constant state of slack – eyes rolled back and eyebrows pinched.

“My perfect little cunt.” Harry seethes.

The noises of her pussy are like electric waves in Harry’s ears. He feels them in his soul, like sparks and jolts. He’s never felt more alive.

He’s fucking into her manically. Behind closed eyes all he can see shapes and colours of need and desire. Sex has always been good, always been great high. But this? Fuck, he’s never felt something so otherwordly.

He never wants it to end, wants to spend the rest of his life fucking her like a whore. She’s tugging his hair, likely making his scalp bleed but he loves it. He’d bleed a fucking river just to feel her cunt around him again.

“I’m gonna come!”

Her words awaken something animalistic within Harry. Like his life depends on feeling her release around him – like it’s what he was born to experience.

He chases her high, nipping and suckling on her neck, fucking into her cunt as fast as his restrained hips will allow. Y/N’s a blubbering mess, a sight Harry never wants to forget.

Fuck, he doesn’t think he could if he tried. This will forever be etched into his mind – her face, her body, her perfect cunt. Jesus, he’s never been so into sex in his life.

Her body begins to tremble uncontrollably, legs locked tight around his middle as she cries his name and pours over him.

Harry’s gruff and desperate moans mix with hers. She’s impossibly tighter, squeezing him; begging him to never let her feel anything but full ever again.

Harry wants to die buried in her cunt.

It takes every single fucking ounce of willpower he has to pull out and release across her thighs – painting the filthiest picture anyone could imagine.

It’s a struggle for either of them to catch their breaths. Hot and heavy panting that soon turns into light laughter, that even sooner, turns into contagious giggles.

Their bodies shake with every chuckle, Harry’s mouth ghosting hers until he nips on her bottom lip.

“We are never to talk about this, understood?”

He grins widely. “Whatever you want, Princess.”

She hums, eyes full of lust. Harry’s still achingly hard, despite coming more than he ever has before. He dips his head to her neck, sucking at her soft skin. His cock twitches against her thigh and she breathes deeply, blinks slowly.

“You wanna go again?” his voice is muffled by her neck.

She grins, legs wrapping back around his middle.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #imagine harry styles #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles angst

[lacroixwh0r3]

In a Good Way

Farmer!Abby Anderson x Housewife!Reader

Summary: You help Abby relax after a long day on the farm.

Warnings: SMUT!! a little bit of fluff, oral (a recieving), fingering (a recieving), hair pulling, kissing, mommy kink, orgasm denial, petnames, switch!Abby, switch!reader, squirting, spit, overstimulation, and a lil degradtion

Song inspo: Kingston by Faye Webster

A/N: I tried to keep it sweet and cute and then I just completely went off the rails with this...oops!

Also I hit 700 followers on here...wtf thank y'all so much! it is so amazing to be able to share my stuff on here.

And ofc, like, share, reblog, and comment.

Abby had finally finished up the last thing she needed to do around the farm before she headed back home. When she looked at the time on her phone, she realized that she was going to get home early.

As soon as she pulled up to the driveway of her home that she shared with you, her excitement grew. Abby knew that you were most likely cooking some delicious meals for dinner as well as dessert to have afterwards. She hated having to leave you all alone in the house while she was away working. Every morning at 7 a.m., she got dressed for the day, and you would lay in bed looking and beg her to stay even though you knew she couldn't. She would tell you how much she wishes she could, then place a soft kiss on your lips and make her way out the door.

Oh, but the look on your face when she got home made it all worth it to Abby.

When she left, you found things to do around the house to occupy your time. Some days you would clean around the house, make a quick trip to the local farmers market to pick up some things, read, paint your nails, or count down the hours until your wife got home.

You have to admit that it was sometimes lonely when Abby wasn't around, but you didn't really mind it. She tried to encourage you to go out and make some friends, but you refused. You were never good at making friends, and you were okay with being alone. Being alone allowed you to have time to do whatever you wanted without being judged by other people.

Abby calls out your name but gets no response. However, she did hear the sound of soft music playing from the kitchen and you singing along beautifully. The smell of whatever you were cooking made Abby extra hungry as she tiptoed her way to you.

"I didn't know that I was capable of being happy right now, But you showed me how"

She stopped at the door and noticed that your back was turned to her as you swayed your body and stirred the pot.

Behind you, you could hear the familiar sounds of Abby's heavy boots coming up behind you slowly. You try to hold back a giggle because you know she is trying to scare you. You could feel her body close behind you as you kept on moving your hips softly to the beat.

"Hey, baby," You say with your back still facing her.

"How the fuck do you do that? I can never get you," Abby playfully scoffs as she brings her hands onto your hips and presses her body onto yours. Both of you were now swaying together to the beat of the song.

"Because I know you and all your tricks, abbs," You chuckle. "You can never scare me." Abby lets out a soft hum as she kisses the back of your neck and up to the back of your ear. You leaned your head to the side, allowing her better access as your body relaxed into hers and your eyes closed.

"You make me wanna cry in a good way"

"I missed you so fucking much, baby." She whispers into your ear. You shivered as Abby's hands began to move toward your stomach, pulling you further into her hard body.

"I miss you too, sweetheart," you breathe out dreamily. You had missed Abby so much today that all you wanted to do was stay in her arms forever. "I was thinking about you all day." Abby places a kiss on your ear.

"Mm, yeah? My beautiful little wife was thinking about me today." You didn't even realize that you still had the wooden spoon in your hand until you dropped it into the pan of mashed potatoes. You spin around and wrap your arms around Abby's neck, as one of her hands is now sitting low on your back and the other is placed in the middle of your back.

All you could do was stare into her eyes before you began to speak. "You don't understand how much I think about you every day, darling," you confess to Abby as you place a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. "It's been a year since we got married, and I still can't believe you're mine, Abby." You tell her breathlessly. Her freckle-covered cheeks turned a deep red as she blushed.

"Baby, I should be saying these things to you," She tells you as she brings her face close to you without any hurry. "Beautiful." She whispers before her lips fall on yours.

The kiss was soft. Neither of you rushed it, as you both took your time and savored each other. You were addicted to the taste of Abby's soft, pouty lips and the taste of her mint chapstick that she always put on.

"You weigh just as much as me, don't you I can feel it when we touch"

Your hands grip the back of her neck as the other tugs at her messy blonde braid. Abby moaned into your mouth as you kept tugging and as she leaned in, making you bend back a bit. You feel her hand, which was placed on your lower back, now go down to your ass. Abby kneads at it as she continues to kiss you.

A minute later, you both pull away from each other simultaneously, breathing heavily.

As you both stare and caress each other, you give her braid one last tug as you stand on your tippy toes and go to kiss the bottom of her chin. Her fingers were still kneading into your cheek. "Why don't you go take a shower? Dinner should be ready as soon as you get out; is that fine with you, baby?" You ask her as you rub the back of her neck.

Abby gently nods her head as she replies, "Okay, baby. Thank you so much." She leaves one last kiss on your head as she gives your ass a quick slap and makes her way out of the kitchen.

All you could do was bite your lips and shake your head while observing her ass and thighs in her tight cargo pants.

...

After Abby's shower, she somehow convinced you to ditch dinner and sit with her for a little.

"Baby, I'm not even that hungry, honestly. I just wanna hold you." She says as she sits on the couch, pulling your waist so you can sit on her lap. Rather than sitting sideways on her lap, you adjusted yourself so that you were straddling her.

You knew she was hungry, she was just coming up with an excuse for you to join her.

"Abby, I know you're lying, babes." You tell her, looking deeply into her blue eyes as you push away some of the loose hair that came out of her braid. Her hands came up to your waist and held onto it.

Ugh, whatever, but I still wanna be here with you right now. I feel like we barely got to see each other this week," Abby confessed. You nodded your head and let out a hum, letting her know that you agreed.

Instantly, a thought popped into your head. "You know what, Abs?" You looked at her with bright eyes, seeing that she was already looking down at you with a curious look on her face. "You've been working really hard at the farm all week, and I think you deserve a break, don't you think?"

Abby briefly thinks about it: "Uh, I mean, I guess, sweetheart, but it's going to be really hard to find someone to take care of everything..." As much as Abby would love to spend the day with you, she knew that in order to get the job done the way she wanted it done, she was going to have to be the one to do it.

"Abby, please take the day off..." Your hand drops into your lap and slides up her shirt so you can feel her. "For me, baby," you murmur in a low voice. You observe her eyes as the soft look that was once there has quickly been replaced with a desirous stare.

"You slutty girl, you just want me to take off so I can have my way with you and make you cum all day, hmm?" Abby looked into one of your eyes, down at your lips, and back up to the other eye. All you could do was nod your head, unable to articulate the words.

Her words were vulgar, but she made them sound like the sweetest thing on earth with her soft voice.

The girl lets out a hum before she can say anything else. "Fine, I'll see what I can do." She places a quick peck on your lips and begins sensually gliding her fingers up and down your waist, inching close to your ass. You arch your back into her strong one, making your whole body tremble with nervousness and excitement. Your head started to feel fuzzy.

Even after years of knowing Abby and being very intimate with her, you still get nervous around her at times. It was easy for Abby to detect your nervousness without you saying anything. "Aww, am I making you nervous, my love?"

"You always make me nervous, Abs."

"Yeah?"

You nodded your head, leaned forward, and wrapped your arms around her neck. First you stroked the back of her head, then you pulled her braid down, making her head lean back into the couch.

You couldn't help yourself whenever she had her braid in. Something about the hairstyle invited you to pull against it, which Abby didn't hate. As a matter of fact, Abby loved it when you pulled her hair as she ate you out.

You bent your neck down and began to lick on the sensitive spot on her neck, making her grip your waist tighter and your hips thrust up to your clothed core.

"Oh, this feels so good, my girl." She whimpers softly. "You're making mommy feel so good."

Her words made you suck and lick her neck more. You wrapped her hair around your fist to help hold her in place. Abby trembled with pleasure as her throat released a sexy moan. With each suck on her neck, Abby could feel the sensation shoot down her body, making her clit throb.

"I wish I was fucking your pussy right now," she confessed. "I'd pound that pussy so good while you suck all down my neck." You could feel her throat vibrate with each word.

You continued your assault on her neck for a little while longer until you unwrapped her hair from your fist, stopped sucking, and leaned off of her body. She released your waist, stretching her arms on the top of the couch as she looked at you and bit her luscious lips. "Oh fuck me, baby. You look so delicious right now." You groan before grabbing her chin to look at her neck. The redish, purple hickey on her neck caught your eye. "This will let everyone know you're mine. You're my wife only, right?" You asked her possessively.

She nodded her head as soon as you asked her, "Forever, I'm forever yours, baby. Only yours."

"Good." You say as you place a quick kiss on her lips.

You never doubted Abby's loyalty at all; she never gave you any reason to question her—you just liked hearing her tell you.

"You want me to go up the stairs and get the strap, baby?" She asked. You shook your head at her, causing her to slightly frown.

You absolutely love it when she fucks you with the strap, but tonight you wanted it to be all about her. You wanted to show her how much you appreciated her.

"No, I wanna make you feel good, my love." You tell her before pushing yourself off of her lap and sitting down next to her. You were balled up into her side; your feet were folded up on the couch, and your right hand sat on her lower stomach. You noticed that her pants sat low on her hips—she didn't have on her underwear, and your fingers were just a couple of inches away from her pussy.

"Can I make you feel good?" You whispered to her as you looked up at her to see her already looking at you. Her eyes gazed at you as she took in your appearance.

"Baby, you don't have to do that, you know," she pleaded, making you scoff at her.

Abby is a stubborn woman; she's always so hard to persuade, even if you're practically begging her.

"I know, I don't have to do anything," you bluntly tell her, "but I want to."

The hand that once sat on her lower stomach was now gathering the spit from your mouth and about to slip into her pants before you looked at her again. Abby sat there agape with anticipation, ready to see what you were going to do. "Is it okay if I touch you, baby?" You asked her before touching her.

She wildly shook her head until she realized that words weren't coming out of her mouth. "Y-yeah," She stammers.

With that, you slide your hands deeper into her pants, feeling the light fuzz of her hair, and dip your spit-coated fingers onto her clit. You feel her strong arm bring your body closer to her tense one as she shakes and gasps. She was already sopping wet without your spit.

Her eyes flutter closed, while yours are still stuck on her face. "You're so wet, mommy. Tell me when I made you this wet." You moaned out as you rubbed lazy circles onto her throbbing clit.

"When-" She tries to speak but is interrupted by her own moans. She bites down on her fist as she tries to gather her words and stop herself from moaning.

You didn't like that, though; you loved hearing her pretty moans.

"Put your fist down; I want to hear all your beautiful sounds. Now, tell me what made you so wet, mommy." She instantly dropped her fist as her grip on your shoulder tightened.

"When you-oh my god-when you licked my neck and gave me a hickey," she said as you used your middle finger to flick her clit back and forth in a fast motion, making Abby try to grab at your hand. She didn't know what she was feeling right now. She wanted you to stop, but she also wanted you to keep going. She wanted to cum and lose her mind at the same time.

As she inched closer to her release, she whispered, Don't stop, in your ear, but that didn't stop you from teasing her, so you gradually slowed your pace on her clit and completely stopped. Just as fast as the feeling came, it left just as quickly after you slowed down, making Abby narrow her eyes at you and snarl.

"Aww, you were gonna cum? Hmm, baby?" You tease her as you pull out your hand from her pants and stick your fingers into your mouth, tasting her saltiness. You made eye contact with her as you sucked on your finger.

"You're such a tease, you know that, right?" She breathes out.

You just let out a laugh as you popped your finger out of your mouth. Abby suddenly moved her arm around you and got off the couch, leaving you confused. She then began to strip herself of her pajama pants, leaving her nude from the waist down. You couldn't help but kiss her pelvic bone as she stood tall in front of you. You swipe your pointer finger through her wet slit, making her weak to the knees. Before she could go down, she staggered and grabbed your shoulder tightly.

"N-no touching yet, sweetie..." She scowled at you and said, "You're gonna get on your knees and eat my pussy like a good girl, okay?" You nod your head at her as your eyes trail up her body, stopping at her face. She released your shoulder, stroked your cheek, and faintly muttered good.

She sat down on the couch, scooting to the edge so that her bottom was halfway hanging off. She sat there with her legs wide open, practically inviting you in. You just sat there, taking in her appearance, until she snapped you out of it. "What are you waiting for, baby? Get on your knees."

Without any hesitation, you dropped to your knees and positioned yourself between her legs, just a few inches away from her pussy, which was glistening from her wetness. You gawked at the view in front of you as your mouth watered, still tasting her juices on your tongue.

"Are you alright?" she asked you, making you look up at Abby, who had her eyebrow cocked up with amusement. "You can have a taste if you want," she encouraged you. However, you didn't need much encouragement.

With that, you leaned forward, feeling the heat of her body as you got closer, and licked up her wet slit before wrapping your lips around her clit and sucking. Abby let out a gasp, holding her breath as she silently uttered, Oh my god, with a strained expression. She was about to reach for your head before she tried to grasp the cushion of your shared couch. You can hear her scratch at the polyester as her dull nails slide across it.

You dug yourself deeper between her legs, swirling and flicking your tongue around her clit. You could feel her arousal spreading across your face, including your nose. "Just like that, baby, keep eating mommy's pussy," she said, breathing hard. You felt yourself grow more and more greedy for her; you wanted to feel her against you, but you continued on pleasuring her. "You love tasting me, huh, beautiful?"

You loved it more than she could know; seeing the way she squirmed and moaned as you ate her out did something to you. It made you feel feral.

You let out a deep moaned around her clit, making her convulse at the vibrations. Abby's eyes squeezed shut as her jaw went slack before you released her clit from your mouth with a faint pop. You watched her sigh out as her eyes opened. She looked down at you with twinkling eyes and let out a chuckle. "Oh fuck, look at that messy face," she cooed at you. You licked up some of it that sat on your lips.

"It's so good, mommy," You moaned up at her.

"Yeah? Well, why don't you have some more?"

You nodded as you went back to licking her pussy. First, you nibbled at her lips, licking them and sucking. She enjoyed it for a little before she let out a frustrated grunt due to the lack of stimulation.

"Are you gonna keep teasing me, or are you actually gonna do something?" She said. You let out a soft laugh at her frustration, causing her to mutter fine as she grabbed onto the side of your head and shifted her hips so that your mouth went onto her clit. "Now eat." She demanded.

Right when she said that, your lips began to suckle on her pearl gently, making sure not to do too much. She pulled you in more as she grinded her hips, loving the way it felt when her clit when released from your mouth and sucked back in. You tuned out the sounds of your slurping as you were focused on making her cum.

"My good little slutty wife, look at you," she sighs out as you lap up her juices, "a-always taking care of me." You tried to keep your eyes open to watch her, but with her words and delicious taste, you couldn't help it.

You began sucking harder, making her body tense and her legs clamp around your head, but you quickly grabbed her inner thigh. You allowed your drool to flow off your tongue as you ferociously ate her cunt, making her more soaked.

"Gonna cum, baby! I'm gonna cum all over that pretty face." She moaned loudly, making you moan as well. "I'm cumming, oh fuck!" Her body was still tense, but now she was shaking—she cursed out and moaned your name as her cum gushed into your mouth. You swallowed it while some of it dripped down your chin.

You eventually pulled away from her pussy once her orgasm died down. Her breathing was loud as she lay there with her eyes closed, trying to catch her breath. Her loose strand of hair was stuck to her now sweaty forehead, looking beautiful as always. You just sat there between her thighs as you whispered, It's okay.

Finally, Abby took one last deep breath before opening her eyes, looking down at you, and letting out a chuckle. "I needed that," She said. Her hands rested over top of her t-shirt-covered stomach as she relaxed on the couch.

"I can tell, baby. You okay?"

"I'm more than okay," she said as she smirked at you, making you giggle. "Now can I fuck you? I wanna make you feel good."

"Nuh uh, Ms. Anderson, not tonight." You tell her as you place kisses on her inner thigh. Her body began to squirm, but she still kept her composure.

"It's actually Mrs. Anderson," she corrected you with her perfectly shaped eyebrow arched as she raised her left hand to show you her ring. "And why not, baby?" Her previous expression dropped quickly as she pouted.

"Because...I wanna keep tasting you tonight," you try to tempt her as you place your kisses closer to her pussy. It was working because she sucked in a sharp breath and bit down on her lip.

"You think you can cum one more time for me, mommy?" You asked her as you planted a kiss just above her pussy where the hair lay, on her soaking lips, and on her clit. She just nodded weakly as she watched.

You placed one more soft kiss on her clit before starting your attack again. You began to eat her out as if you were tongue kissing her plush lip. "Fuck, what has gotten into you, sweetie?" Abby moaned.

You groaned onto her pussy while bringing your fingers up to her pussy and teased her wet hole. You realized that you caught her by surprise because her body jolted. Once you slithered your finger into her, you began to move it in and out of her while servicing her clit with your mouth. You can feel her walls squeeze around your fingers.

"You're gonna make me cum already."

"Give-give me your hand so I can hold it while you make me cum," Abby sputtered out. You reach up, with your left arm resting on her thighs and stomach as our hands intertwine. Abby's stomach, as well as yours, flipped—there was something so mushy yet arousing about it. Seeing and feeling her finger rub against the ring she had given you did something to you. You move away from her pussy with your teeth lightly grazing against her clit. You slowly pulled your fingers out of her, then began to rapidly rub her pussy, making sure to focus on her clit.

"I-I'm cu-oh my god, I'm cumming." Her moans became uncharacteristically high, her legs got wider, and her grip on your hand tightened. Your arm began to ache as you continued your movements, but you had no plans on stopping.

"Cum for me, Abby; cum all over my hand, beautiful." You egged her on. You felt her squirm, trying to get away, but you pressed your wrist down on her stomach. Her face got redder and spread down to her neck.

"Shit! If you keep going, I'm gonna-" Her words were cut off as her eyes rolled to the back of her skull. Suddenly, her wet sounds got louder, and liquid began to gush from her, causing it to go everywhere. Down your arm, on your face, on your shirt, and all over herself. Some of it had even gotten on the couch, leaving a large wet spot, and on the carpet.

We're definitely going to have to get a new couch now.

"Oh!" You squealed out in surprise, continuing to rub against her clit. "You're squirting so much, baby!" It made you giddy that you were the one doing this to her.

Her body trashed around and trembled as she tried to speak, but she couldn't, so you decided that she had enough and stopped. You got off your knees and sat on the couch next to her before pulling her head into your chest. Her arms immediately wrapped around you. You could feel her quivering and breathing hard into your chest as you stroked and kissed her head.

"You did so good, baby," you murmured to her, rocking her back and forth.

You both stayed like that until she cooled down. You heard her say something, but you couldn't hear her, so you asked her to repeat herself.

"I can eat your pussy now," She said as her words were muffled into your chest.

"No, Abby. You need to rest."

"But I—" she tried to get out before you interrupted her.

You rolled your eyes. She was being stubborn again.

"No, plus you'll be home all day tomorrow, so you can do whatever you want." You smirked, making her smile into your chest, and said true in agreement.

It went quiet for a while until you felt Abby's breathing even out and her body slump against yours. She was asleep. You just shook your head, knowing she had been tired all along.

#abby tlou #abby anderson #abby x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou #tlou fic #tlou part 2 #tlou smut #tlou2 #tlou fluff #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x fem!reader #abby anderson smut #abby anderson fluff #Farmer!abby anderson #smut

[sukiipjs]

✿ BITE ME

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

↳ matt sturniolo x fem reader

↳ words - 2485

↳ summary - you and matt have hated each other for so long, until you see him at a party and suddenly you two don’t hate each other.

↳ contains - smut, sex, drinking, degrading, oral, orgasm, hair pulling, swearing, biting, praise, cream pie, breeding kink, cum eating, idk what to put 😭

↳ song - meddle about by chase atlantic

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

im in the campus gym watching the team play basketball, something i enjoy and it gives me time to finish up my work for classes. unfortunately, matt’s in the team, i ignore him the best i can. for as long as i can remember me and matt just have it out for eachother but honestly watching him all sweaty in that jersey, flexing his muscle… hot.

my heads down trying to focus on my work until a thud hits my shoulder, i shoot my head up and see matt in front of me. “are you going to just sit there all stupid or give me back the ball?” he snaps as he waits for me to respond, “shut up” i scoff back at him as i pick up the ball and throw it back to him.

“hey i’m not the one acting all dumb, flaunting here looking for attention” his brows narrow as he quickly throws the ball back to his teammates. “god. fuck you matt. fuck you.” i mumble under my breath as i start getting my things, matt walking back to the court as i storm out of the gym.

as much as i think he’s hot, he’s still an asshole. the littlest things he does and i start boiling over.

i get to my dorm room and drop my work on the floor as i flop onto my bed and groan into my pillow. i lift up my head as i check the time on my phone, it’s four. my best friend, nick (also matt’s brother) is taking me to a halloween party later, he says to need to ‘get back out there’ he says i’m lonely, i think i’m just fine.

i take a quick nap, finish my work, make a snack and finally start getting ready for the party. i pick out one of my favorite baby tees, black with white letters that spell out ‘bite me’, and a cute black denim mini skirt that barley hides my ass while the shirt hugs my figure too. i sit down at my desk to do my makeup, some mascara, eyeliner, highlights, and my favorite lipgloss.

i get a buzz on my phone from nick, he’s at the party, asking if i’m ready. i text back that i’ll be there soon. i quickly mess with my hair but figure it’s fine down, i grab some random cat ears and do whiskers with my eyeliner as a ‘costume’. i grab my bag and head out the door.

i get to the party and walk in, i see nick across the room and a smile floods my face, i run up to him, meeting him in a hug. “y/n!! oh my god finally.” he eyes he up and down, “wow, good costume,” i roll my eyes and laugh as i see his, creamish sweater with blood stains, “whatever, who are you?”

“stu, ghost face, obviously,” he smiles as he spins around, showing off his outfit. as we go to the kitchen, getting drinks as he complains about having to wait here without me, all these bitchy college kids.

we drink and laugh as we dance, taking up the whole floor. after a while i tell him i’m going to get another drink, even though it feels like i’ve already had fifty. i make my way to the kitchen and as i’m about to fill up my cup i feel someone behind me, matt, his hands grab onto the table, pinning me between him and the table. i turn around and roll my eyes as i realize it’s him.

“fuck are you doing?” he stares down at me, eyeing down my whole body. i eye him too, still hot, and i see he has in those fake vampire teeth. god would i love to feel his teeth sink into me. “nothing… i’ve been looking at you, that outfit,” he whispers as he moves his lips to my ear “dressed like such a slut.” my eyes widen, hooooly shit, maybe i’m drunk maybe he’s just extra hot right now, but damn.

“you drunk?” i giggle trying to push down my thoughts of him.. oh the things he could do to me, but no, he’s an asshole.

he laughs, his eyes never breaking eye contact, his hands travel to my waist pushing me more into the table behind me. one of his hands leave my waist and moves to tug on my shirt, “bite me? oh i bet i could,” he smirks as he bites down a little to show off the fake vampire teeth.

he pushes his hips into me, his bulge hitting me, “cmon baby, you know you want this.. i’ve seen that way you look at me and shit i cant say i haven’t thought of this.. i’ve dreamed of it…” one of his hands move to tuck some of my hair behind my ear, my lips part, he’s never been like this and god i’m dying for it. i stay still and quiet looking up at him, just shocked. he’s thought of this? baby? oh my god.

“say it, you want this” he whispers so quiet i can barley hear from all the noise in the background. i stay quiet again, my mind is fucking blown. “don’t be shy now.. look at that outfit, youre not shy…” i open my mouth slightly, about to speak but instead i just nod, his smirk grows wide as he takes my hand, leading me to the bathroom, locking the door behind us then setting me on the counter of the sink, his hands resting on my waist.

“matt-“ im finally about to try and speak but he cuts me off, “shhh baby, you’ve been teasing me all night, i cant hate you like this,” he smiles as his fingers trail from my waist to my thighs, circling his fingers on my skin.

he leans his head closer before taking out the vampire teeth and moving his mouth to my neck, kissing and marking me, i let out a slight gasp as he captures my skin between his teeth, slightly biting and giggling as i make small noises. “mmm,” he pulls away to admire the marks he made from my neck to my collarbones, he smiles and moves his hand to my cheek, “so pretty baby,” all i can do is look at him, those eyes, his hair, his hands, and i can’t stop to think about what he’ll do to me next…

he kneels down and he starts to pull down my skirt, smirking up at me as he throws it to the side, leaning down to kiss around my thighs, i bite my lip gently. his hands rest at the top of my underwear, teasing me.

“matt, please..” i say softly, he chuckles as he pulls down my panties, throwing them aside too. he looks at my eyes, wanting to see my every reaction. he moves his finger to land right on my clit, aching for his touch.

“mph.. pleeeease..” i look down at his finger on me, waiting for him to move it. his smirk grows seeing how desperate i am, “learn to be patient baby,”

he puts his hands on my waist again and pulls me forward off the counter, i look a little confused as i stand in front of him, looking up at him, “don’t worry, just. be. patient.” his hands on my waist move off and one on the back of my head, gripping onto my hair, i whine a little as his hand pulls my head up to look at him more, “beautiful,” he smiles as he leans his head down, sealing our lips together.

“mm.. get down,” he says firmly as he moves away from the kiss, i feel his hand pushing me down a little, to get me on my knees. i kneel down in front of him and his grip loosens on my head, “good girl,” he leans down a little whispering in my ear then moving back up, staring down at me.

he moves his hand to my cheek, his thumb to my lips as he parts them, “oh baby..” he takes his hand off my face, “well?” he tilts his head a little and i stop looking at him, my hands move onto the top of his pants, undoing the belt, im nervous but at the same time… ive been waiting for this, for so fucking long. i put his belt to the side and my hands shake a little, before taking his pants off i wait a little and look up at him, my heart racing. i hear him laugh a little as he stares down at me, “no ones stopping you,”

i look back down, and grip onto the top of his pants, pulling them down as he steps out of them, his hand moving back to the top of my head. the perfect outline of his rock hard dick, a wet spot on his boxers at the tip, i need him to throat fuck me, my hands rest at the top of his boxers, as i just look. fuck. “its rude to stare,” he says softly, smirking down at me still.

i pull down his boxers as his dick springs out, hitting the side of my face. i feel matts grip on my hair tighten slightly. precum leaking out his red tip, his other hand grips his dick and moves it to caress my lips.

“open up baby,” i part my lips, sticking out my tongue a bit as he rubs it on my tongue, i stare up at him as he keeps his eyes on my mouth. he slides it inside, my lips wrapping around it as he moves both his hands to my head, gripping my hair tightly and pushing my head forward, his tip reaching the back of my throat as i look up and him, his eyes shut and head leaning up, “fuck baby.. youre amazing,”

he speeds up, fucking my throat good as i start gagging. his hands holding me down at the base, spit drips out as i try to not gag as his hips buck at my mouth as he finishes, releasing my head and pulling out of my mouth. i spit out his cum mixed with my spit, catching my breath as i lean my head against the cabinets below the sink.

“fuck..” i gasp, as he kneels down in front of me, both of us sitting as he puts his hand on my cheek, my eyes opening to look at him as i pant. his hand moves to wipe off some spit by my lip, “you did so good.. cant wait to find out what else youre good at,” he smiles as he pulls me in kissing my mouth then standing back up again.

“get up.” my arms a little shaky, i use them to help me up off the floor as i stand in front of him. “turn around baby” i do, staring at the mirror, i feel his hands move to my ass, kneeding it as i look at myself, my makeup and ‘whiskers’ smudged. my hair all messed up and the cat ears unbalanced on my head.

his hands play with my ass then moving to my stomach his fingers moving down to my aching clit as he starts to circle around it, “fuck!” my head drops down as one of his hand reaches to my head, gripping my hair and forcing my head back up, “look or ill stop.” i force my eyes open as my knees buckle and i let out small whimpers, biting my lip trying to be quiet. “mm.. so wet for me baby..”

his head turns as he moves to my neck, kissing me as he circles my clit faster and faster. my teeth clench down as i keep forcing my eyes open as he continues to mark my neck even more.

“fuck, please matt..” i moan as i lean my arms to my elbows on the counter, his hand gripping my hair more as my body shakes and i let out a louder moan as i finish over his fingers.

he leans up from kissing me, taking his hand off me, he sticks those fingers up in front my face as his other hand still holds my head up, “cmon baby, see how you taste,” as i pant i stick out my tounge, his fingers moving to my mouth, sticking them in as i close my lips on his fingers.

he slides them out then giving my cheek small pats as he whispers in my ear, “good girl,” he then moves both his hands to my waist, making my head drop down. he pulls my hips toward him as his dick rubs against my ass.

before i know it he pushes inside me, making me gasp as he starts to thrust into me, grabbing at my hips, not even letting me get a second to adjust to him, “fuck! matt!” i moan as my eyes shut hard, my fingers gripping onto the counter. “mm.. you feel so good,”

he moves his hips faster and faster, slapping against me, “fuck, i’m close baby,” his fingers dig into my hips as i let out mindless moans. “you want me to cum inside you? hmm?” his breath hot against my skin as one of his hands move back to my head, gripping my hair again, “answer me.”

my head leans up as i try to nod my head, “yeah? you slut.” he drops my head again, thrusting into me as he finishes inside me, filling me up. he pulls out, his cum dripping out, “slut” he smirks again as his head leans to kiss my neck, “i’m starting to think you don’t hate me,” i smile as i breathe heavy.

“oh baby, i could never hate you…” he whispers, smiling on my skin as he hugs my waist. “mph.. m-matt..” i gag a little, dropping down onto the floor, carrying myself to the toilet as matt moves to lift up the seat then holding my hair as i throw up. “shit…” he laughs as i use the back of my hand to wipe off my mouth, closing the seat and flushing, “uh.. sorry,” i laugh a little as matt then kneels down next to me.

“you good?” i nod a little, “i think i am now…” we both turn our heads to each other as we start bursting out laughing on the bathroom floor, our clothes scattered around and both of us catching our breath still, “i’m.. im sorry i was a jerk to you…”

“i would’ve never thought i’d ever hear you apologize but.. i accept..” i smile, both of us still laughing as matt leans to me again, kissing me as he holds my face in his hands. “let’s get out of here?”

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

taglist : @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #sukiipjs #𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆ #𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆

[fluffyartbl0g]

Redraw of the panels that SHATTERED MY HEART o(；△；)o!!! OG panels + Opinions on the Luffy separation arc under read more

Okay let me just go on a tangent about my feelings about the post-series Luffy separation arc, cause I think it gets way too much hate when it’s such a heartbreaking and well executed deviation from oda’s standard formula!!! I know that we all love monkey d. luffy and he’s LITERALLY the main character of the series, but it was also really nice to get more time to focus on the rest of the crew. But here’s the thing, even when Luffy wasn’t here, he was still here. And I’m not talking about the so called ‘blessings’ or whatever that kept SUSPICIOUSLY popping up around the crew when Luffy disappeared, I’m talking about the consequences that arised from him disappearing. We truly got to see how grand the effect luffy has had on the world around him, and how many lives he was able to touch ; - ; So even though luffy physically wasn’t present (I mean KIND OF but you know what I mean), this was still VERY MUCH a luffy arc imo. 

Oh man but I think Oda wrote luffy’s disappearance so well,,, I was sobbing for like 80 percent of this arc. Like just gradually seeing the crew’s deterioration as time passes by,,, but everyone has such unwavering faith in their captain, he HAS to come back cause Luffy always comes back. But here’s the thing, Luffy didn’t know what was happening to him when he started disappearing. But what he DID know is that he wasn’t sure if he was gonna be able to come back or not. And Luffy hates breaking promises- he’d never make a promise if he didn’t plan to keep it, and he’s not an idiot either, so when he just felt himself disappearing and saw zoro nearby... Instead of saying something like “I’ll be back!” and potentially making his crewmates wait for him forever, he tells zoro to “take care of the crew”... SOBBING AND CRYING T - T. So YES. the crew has unwavering faith in their captain. But. Luffy didnt say that he’d be coming back or anything. So what are they supposed to do really.

And it’s really hard to read at some parts, like it never loses the goofy tone that has been there throughout all of one piece and it’s really sweet to see everyone rely on each other to keep one another afloat, but the slight tension that keeps building up over the months while they keep looking for clues and answers... And how each lead keeps becoming a dead end... When it builds up and Usopp finally voices the thing that’s on everyone’s mind.

Oh man. I started crying so hard. It took 6 month for any one of them to say something. Like this is One piece. Of course Luffy is gonna come back eventually, it would be waay too dark otherwise... But Idk man, even I started to doubt that :((( But luckily. THIS IS ONE PIECE. So right after everyone started,,, well not exactly losing hope or anything (maybe a bit)? but going BATSHIT INSANE FROM THE REALITY THAT THEIR CAPTAIN MIGHT BE GONE FOR GOOD, they finally got a solid actual clue of what might’ve happened to luffy!!! And I’m SO GLADDDD!!!!

Omg and when they tracked down the pray-pray no mi user and finally got some answers out of him. OMG WAIT A MOMENT I REALLY LIKED IS WHEN PRIEST GUY IS LIKE “urerheg without luffy up there as a god the entire world may very well be destroyed cause the sun has been super unstable for centuries blah blah” and then Nami freaking PUMMELED THE GUY AND SHOVED HIM DOWN WITH HER STAFF AND

SOBBING CRYING SOBBING. THEY WOULD POTENTIALLY BLOW UP THE ENTIRE WORLD IF IT MEANT THAT THEIR CAPTAIN WOULDNT HAVE TO BE LONELY ; - ; KILL ME.

URGH I was really hoping that Luffy would return right once they beat him up cause I really really missed my boy, but honestly I think the final method of getting Luffy to return was super clever and absolutely worth the extra 3 weeks of waiting!!! I know that it was foreshadowed across the whole West Blue Saga and everything but I honestly had no clue it would end like that, DONT MAKE FUN OF ME :(((

When the crew finally got their captain back after 8 months of waiting... I mean they’ve been separated before for even longer periods of time, but they always knew that they’d be back together. This time they didn’t know. BUT AREHAHRGE ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING WAS SO WORTHIT WHEN THEY ALL FINALLY REUNITED T - T!!!!!! UWAHHWHAHWUAAGGHA!!! AND SEEING ALL THEIR ALLIES AND FRIENDS THEYVE MADE JUST CHEER AND CRY WHEN THEY HEAR THE NEWS!!!! I WOULD CHUCK ALL THE PANELS HERE IF I COULD BUT ID JUS T REACH THE IMAGE LIMIT BECAUSE ALL OF THEM MADE ME CRY ; - ;!!! Literally just read those 5 chapters in the arc finale cause,,,, man so good T - T

Anyways TLDR: The post-series luffy seperation arc is NOT BAD and you guys are JUST COWARDS AND LIARS!!!!

#tw unreality #post-series #one piece #op fanart #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #zolu #nami #usopp #straw hat pirates #gear 5 luffy #op spoilers #one piece spoilers #wano spoilers #please dni if ur a post-series one piece hater >:( #this is a post-series POSITIVE post only!!! Feel free to gush about other post-series arcs that you like on this post :D!!! #(for that person i scared: i put tw unreality higher just 4 u :3)

[raisedbythetv89]

Listennnnn to be loved is to be seen

Buffy is SURROUNDED by people who project and project and project some more onto her without ever truly seeing her and just trying to force her to be whatever they want/need her to be often leaving her feeling used, abused, and lonely.

And so while yes on the surface the Buffy bot is icky as hell and obviously irl all of us would be rightfully horrified if that happened to us. This is fictional and with a still evil but trying to be good but with no human soul to help guide him on how to be good Spike - who has been rejected and is honoring that rejection and finding a solution to leave real Buffy alone by giving him a place to put all his feelings for Buffy somewhere that isn’t Buffy herself - programs her so well and therefore showing how well he sees and understands her!! NO ONE ELSE could have programmed that exact Buffy that was believable enough to fool her friends. So yes it’s twisted but this is a vampire falling in love with the slayer if you want completely healthy truly go elsewhere lololol but so the bot is used to show just how well Spike truly understands her and more importantly what he loves about her which given the partner she had right before this was Riley who VERY CLEARLY hated how strong she was and that she was the slayer…

spike is like SHE NEEDS A DEDICATED SLAYER FOLDER

HE PUT THE YEAR WILLOW CAME OUT IN HER BIO 😭😭😭😭 angel and riley truly could never in a million years pay close enough attention to the people in her life that Buffy cares about to add info like that

The choice of “make spike happy” instead of something like “pleasing spike” feels significant because it’s able to encompass a wider range of things including her care for her friends since that seems to be the active folder when she’s accessing information on them. Buffy caring about other people makes him happy even though he’s morally grey at best at this moment 😭 AND TWO KISSING PROGRAMS ARE THE VERY FIRST THINGS IN THAT FOLDER 😭😭😭 he doesn’t just “want to fuck her” like people try to claim he wants to love her 🥲 he wants her kisses like I’m gonna throw up from how disgustingly tender and heartbreaking that is

Buffy bot calls both her and Buffy very pretty and tells Giles he “should listen to the other Buffy because she’s very smart”. Spike made sure the Buffy bot was a Buffy that loved herself and valued her intelligence like I cannot even begin to tell you how NONE of this is your run of the mill making just a sex bot of your crush because not being able to have sex with them upsets you. He wants to love her because he knows she needs it as much as he wants to give it to her

We have this moment where Buffy bot has finally found Spike who she’s been looking for and worried about the whole time and seemingly only cares about him and no one else and she sees he’s SEVERELY injured yet when Giles calls for help Buffy bot responds at the same time as Buffy does and runs to his aide leaving Spike like she’s still just so BUFFY at her core even if the superficial aspects have been changed 😭

if we compare this moment to the one in something blue where xander calls out for help in the crypt in an IDENTICAL situation yet ACTUAL BUFFY just continues to make out with Spike when he’s not even injured at all 💀 like Spike didn’t even give Buffy bot the “extra love sick” component Buffy herself exhibits for him on multiple occasions 😭

and of course - WE END WITH THIS KISS AND THE WAY SHE’S FUCKING LOOKING AT HIM BRO 😩 she’s like holy shit he was for real when he said he loved me no one has ever done anything like this for me while simultaneously showing how COMPLETELY loyal and obsessed they are and how well they know and love all of me AND my sister like

‼️I CAN DEPEND ON HIM‼️

So close to death even Xander is feeling sympathy for him yet clocks IMMEDIATELY it’s her and she’s just like hi 🥹 yes it’s me, I really just did that. I see you and what you did for me. HAVE HOPE KEEP TRYING DONT GIVE UP.

If Buffy loves you she forgives you pretty easily and I personally think that’s what we’re seeing here with Spike like kissing him in the same ep she learns of the Buffy bot is low key CRAZY 😹 but truly people who have done less for her have done far worse!!! The bot kept dawn and tara from being taken instead and he proved he would protect both of them with his life and like she already loves him which is why she even went for the kiss she was like REALLY THE SITUATION CALLS FOR IT WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO 🤷🏼‍♀️

#this post all started literally just from noticing the gay 1999-present 💀 #spuffy #embarassing freak couple #spike and buffy #spike x buffy #spuffy season 5

[soulrph]

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐋/𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

as requested by a very wonderful, very dear, very lovely friend! i hope you all enjoy using these as much as i enjoyed writing them! i honestly found these so nice and therapeutic to write tho like oml i cannot get over it! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST PLEASE! 

“ oh, i knew you could do it! i’m so proud of you! “

“ i’m thinking of doing a movie/game night at my place, if you wanna join in? “

“ how many mugs of coffee have you had today?! that’s enough, now, you go take a nap before you buzz through the ceiling! “

“ i’ll send you the recipe, if you like! but, in the same breath, you should know that i really don’t mind continuing to cook this for you; it’s no trouble at all, really! “

“ are you sure there isn’t anything i can do to help you in the kitchen? “

“ come on in! take a seat! i’ll fix you up a plate, there’s more than enough to go around! “

“ why don’t you spend the night here? really, it’s no trouble to fix up the guest room, and we have plenty of spare pajamas and toiletries if that’s what’s bothering you! “

“ look, i get the whole lone wolf thing, trust me, i do. but... you do understand that there’ll always be a place here for you, don’t you? that door is always open to you, no matter what. that’s a promise. “

“ why don’t i make you a cup of tea, and you can tell me all about it? “

“ [NAME]? hey, hey, hey, what’s the matter? are you okay? what’s wrong? oh, come here... “

“ jeez, i don’t even wanna know how you got that battle wound there; sit down and let me fix it up, won’t you? “

“ hey, stranger! it’s been a minute, huh? what’ve you been up to? how have you been? hell, where have you been? “

“ now, now, don’t be silly; put that wallet away. i invited you out for dinner, so i’ll pay the bill, right? you can get the next one! “

“ hey, you didn’t order anything! don’t worry about it, huh? here, take half my sandwich; i can never finish the damn thing, anyway, you’re really doing me the favor! and there’s coffee in that flask, so help yourself to that, too! i’ve been trying to cut back, anyhow. “

“ hey, i know it’s really late, but... i didn’t know who else to call. “

“ everything’s gonna be okay, i promise. just tell me where you are, okay? and i’ll come and get you right this second. “

“ well, we have to celebrate your good news! what’s your favorite dinner? oh, and cake! we can’t have a decent celebration without cake, right? “

“ hey, hey, it’s okay, relax. i’m not about to nag you for skipping out on curfew, alright? have you eaten anything? because i saved you a plate, and it’s in the oven if you want it. “

“ now, now, none of that self-hate talk! we all have bad days, right? we all mess up sometimes and make silly mistakes. but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day; it just makes the good days all the better! “

“ guess who has an extra ticket for the concert this weekend! wanna come with me? they’re practically front row! “

“ you’re still coming over for dinner tonight, right? “

“ hey! what are your plans for the holidays? because, if you didn’t have any, i have an offer for you! or an open invitation! “

“ did you do something different with your hair? it looks amazing! “

“ oh my god, where have you been?! i was so worried about you! are you okay? did you get hurt?! “

“ we should go out tonight! come on, you can ransack my wardrobe if you like! i have a friend who’s the bouncer at that new night club, they can get us in for free! “

“ i made you some breakfast, if you’re hungry? it’s your favorite! unless you’ve got a new favorite, in which case... “

“ don’t forget to take an umbrella! “

“ let me know when you get there so i know you’re safe, okay? “

“ i watched that show you recommended last week! it was so good! can you believe that season finale, though? “

“ rough night, huh? i know that feeling. here, help yourself; the coffee is fresh, and the waffles are pretty damn good today, if i do say so myself! “

“ i knew you’d forget yours, so i brought extra. go ahead, help yourself! “

“ you’re welcome to stay for as long as you like. what’s mine is yours, okay? you don’t need to ask permission, just take whatever you want. “

“ you should get some sleep, okay? my room is just down the hall if you need anything. “

“ you don’t need to be so polite around here, you know! help yourself; i don’t bite! “

“ hey now, never apologize for feeling emotions, okay? humans are meant to feel all this stuff, no matter how good or bad the feelings are. besides; shoulders are built to be cried on! “

“ you should keep that sweater! it looks much better on you than it does on me; brings out your eyes! “

“ i never realized you could cook! the apron suits you very nicely! “

“ if you don’t have any plans this weekend, we should do something together! “

“ remember, if you want to leave early, just call me and i’ll come get you, okay? “

“ would you come on in inside out of that rain?! you’ll catch your death! “

“ don’t worry about it, okay? no apologies necessary; just breathe, everything’s good. “

“ it’s okay! no use crying over spilt milk, am i right? fetch me that mop and i’ll clean it up; you should find a clean shirt in the third drawer in my room, too! “

“ here, grab a plate; i made your favorite, and there’s more than enough for you to have seconds and take home a tonne of leftovers, too! “

“ would you mind setting the table for me while i finish up in the kitchen? “

“ you want some hot cocoa before you go to bed? i’m more than happy to have one with you; not to praise myself or anything, but my hot cocoa is the best in town! “

“ you did it! oh, congratulations! quick, i’m gonna fetch the sparkling cider, and then i’ll book a table somewhere fancy; we’re going to celebrate in style! “

“ oh god, you’re burning up a fever, you poor thing! here, lie down, let’s get you some water and a nice cool cloth, huh? “

“ how are you feeling? i thought you might be hungry, so i made some tea and toast. “

“ i thought i might find you out here... this must be your favorite spot, huh? it’s nice! “

“ how are you? and be real with me, now; i can tell when you’re not being honest with me. you’ve got a tell. “

“ figured you might be needing an extra blanket in this weather. you mind if i sit with you for a while? “

“ let’s go for a walk, huh? i know this place that does the best coffee you’ll ever have! “

“ i can’t believe you’ve never seen this movie before! we have to fix this immediately; you get the popcorn, i’ll order in the pizza and get the tv set up. “

“ wow... that pun was so awful, it actually became good again. nicely done! “

“ i know you have that meeting today, so i thought i’d come wish you luck. and give you my lucky socks! “

“ hey! i hope you’re hungry, i spared you some waffles and pancakes from breakfast this morning! “

“ maybe you’re not ready to talk just now. but i want you to know that, whenever you are, my door is always open to you. understand? “

“ i’m not here to say i told you so, don’t worry. i’m not that cruel. i’m just here to comfort my friend. “

“ you’re here so often, i figured it was about time you had your very own mug! “

“ do you mind if i put you down as my emergency contact? “

“ you should move in with me! i have a spare room, the rent is cheap, it’s closer to work... i mean, only if you want to, but i’m very much in favor of this! “

“ i know that things haven’t been easy for you lately, so... i was thinking, maybe we could plan a little vacation together? “

“ pull the car over, alright? you can get some sleep in the back seat, and i’ll take over the driving. “

“ woah, woah, woah... slow it down a few miles, huh? what’s going on? where’s the fire? “

“ do you want a hug? i give some really good hugs; i nearly got voted the best hug-giver in the continent, once! come on, you know you want to! “

“ hey! so i’m after having a really crappy day. you wanna get take-out and watch a movie at my place tonight? “

“ i remember you saying you didn’t like this ingredient last time, so i fixed you up something else. “

#rp meme #roleplay meme #rp prompt #roleplay prompts #roleplay prompt #sentence starters #sentence starter #found family sentence starters #dialogue prompt #dialogue prompts #writing prompt #writing prompts

[seattlesellie]

knight!ellie x princess!reader drabble. ♡🗡️🕯️

an: since i’m thinking of writing a full fic of knight ellie x princess reader i wanted to know what you guys think ! let me know if i should turn this into something way longer. just a lil peak of the themes of a longer fic 💗

cw: mature themes, reader is a little lonely, tension.

the moon is so bright, so big, so white, luminous, it reflects in her emerald eyes and renders them almost mystical, bordering on the verge of the unreal. one couldn't help but wonder if she herself was not entirely real, a specter of dreams made flesh. do you recall those distant days of childhood? just eight years old, insisting that your imaginary friend — aurora, was right by your side? you clung to her like a lifeline. you'd shed tears as your mother, the reigning queen, denied the request for an extra place setting, an empty plate reserved for aurora alone. how you fell asleep bawling, tasting salt on your tongue, bitter and sickening, feeling as if you were drowning in your sleep, the specter of aurora growing gaunt and wretched, as though starved for existence.

how you woke up plagued by guilt, tormented by a high fever and a stubborn eye infection, crying and screaming for your imaginary best friend. and how from that day on, the castle fell empty. you wandered around, through those regal halls like a specter, floating like a brittle ghost, nodding politely when a maid curtsied in reverence, offering a feeble smile to the steward as he addressed you as his cherished princess.

you filled your duties, all your royal obligations, attended to your classes, spoke only when spoken to by your parents, ignored when another royal called you a “loony” when catching you in the midst of a conversation with several alabaster rabbits.

you formed a connection with the world around you, a bond that ran far deeper than what met the eye, and now one knew.

you rub on your eyelids with the back of your hand, and blink in dismay — oh, you’ve been mistaken, she is real, and her abdomen rises and falls with each breath, the clang of her armor a testament to her existence, to your sanity. her eyelids flutter, and her throat subtly moves as she swallows. a strand of her auburn hair sways in the wind too, but sweet aurora’s hair also danced in the breeze, so who knows.

sometimes it all is simply too blurry.

for now, you choose to believe.

the grass tickles your bare toes, you don’t laugh.

“hate being a princess” you mutter with a sigh, tilting your head to the side — her side, to see if perhaps she vanished like the rest of them, yet finding her there.

her role as a knight is dictated with silence in your presence, a mere executor of commands from your father with a duty to bow in submission, so she doesn’t respond. all she has to do is be your protector, keep you safe and guarded, make sure you won’t try and run once more.

she’s also not supposed to help you with your clandestine escapades from the castle, she’s not supposed to lay in the tall royal gardens ridiculously green grass with the princess, to allow the opulent and delicate fabric of her dress to gently brush against the barest portion of her knee. yet — she allows it.

she’s not supposed to help you pick flowers and greet you good morning, she was supposed to be unyielding as stone, almost ephemeral yet ever-present.

and now your ankle shifted to rest gently against hers, and she didn’t even nudge you.

“i despise it” you repeat. you try and voice your frustration but it comes off as too soft. ellie typically abhorred anything soft. she’d rather sleep on a hard mattress than a plush one, favored stomping over floating.

and yet you seem to be an exception.

you seem to be an exception for lots of things.

and ellie doesn’t respond. she blinks at the full moon and it blinks back at her.

“do you like being a knight?”

you think you may have heard a breathy chuckle. you’re unsure, you sigh.

“ellie?”

and she never told you her name. you figured it out by yourself.

then she begins, pink tongue folding and moistening her lower lip. “i like being your knight”, she blinks thrice, in a hurry — like she said something wrong, as though she feared she might have offended anyone else whose knight she was not. she takes a deep breath, for some reason it's shaky.

“i like, i- need, to protect the kingdom. it’s my duty. for the sake of your father, the people, you — you know that, my princess”

and usually you’d cringe when addressed with that title. you voiced it already — that title isn’t you, you don’t want it, it felt like a burdensome label imposed or cursed upon your birth, but for some reason, when she says it ; “my princess” it feels like her “my”, is the one that holds the power to cloud your mind. and that’s why you don’t argue that it isn’t your name, because she calls you as hers, and oh how bad you want to be hers.

you overheard the conversations among the other young royals, who spoke in hushed tones about "crushes." you eves dropped and furrowed your brows intently when they talked about the charming sable boy, a dark haired prince from a faraway land, an adviser. they described the feeling of having a crush as if they were “falling”, “giddy”, “thrilled”, “like riding a horse, really really fast”

and it never really happened to you, albeit you really did try. you just accepted it, you’d be crush-less forever, forced to marry a crush-less prince, forced to live a crush-less life.

then you met knight ellie.

it happened when she removed her bascinet, when she casually tossed her tousled auburn locks from side to side, when she smiled that sly smirk then immediately wiped it off and glued her gaze to the stone wall. it was in the way her eyes met yours, her all but graceful bow, and the sound of her armored knee meeting the ground, when she chuckled after winning the battle of who would be the princesses knight. how cocky she looked as her arm was raised in triumph, only to transform into humble grace when officially declared the winner.

but it wasn't a feeling akin to falling; it was more like crashing down. you also didn’t feel giddy, you felt nauseous and tight everywhere, you weren’t thrilled you were petrified, and you didn’t ride a horse really fast — it was more like being thrown off the horse and crashing onto the ground, nose-first.

so it didn’t feel like crushing, it felt like something else. and you really had to go to the washroom.

“you don’t… owe anything to the kingdom, or to my father” you murmur.

she really doesn’t. it got her family starved, killed. “i do” she lies, swallowing thickly. “also, i really don’t need protection” then you lie, rolling your eyes with a huff.

she'd call you a brat if she wasn't your knight, and if she knew for certain that you wouldn't go running to your father after being offended.

“i should run away” you muse, idly toying with the hem of your dress. ellie sees the bare flesh of your thigh and she feels like maybe she shall run away as well. then her breath hitches down her throat, and she really hates it because this isn't the first time. perhaps she's sick, a throat infection. it's getting very hard to breathe.

t'must be the armor, the decides.

then she decided it's not.

it's simply the cold night air. definitely not your naked thigh, or your hunger to be free, or the way your dress flows with the wind, or the way your eyelashes flutter and your fingertips tap tap tap on your plushy lips.

“should i fetch the horse then, my princess? which one d'ya want, charlie... or buster, maybe. he's a strong one” ellie croons then swallows a chuckle.

she’s also not supposed to joke with you. or to stare at your thigh, or to let you place your head on her armored chest.

“yes” you reply like she’s serious.

then a cloud veils the once-bright moon, and your knight clears her throat.

“i should take you to your room, freedom warrior, s’getting late”

“you shall take me to the forest to pick some blackberries, knight”

ellie chuckles and argues back. “i shall not”

“disobeying a royal?” you say with a wink.

you might actually be the death of her.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x you #knight!ellie #ellie williams fluff

[thelastpuppyboygirl]

YES !! YES !!!!!! AHAHAAAA YESSSS !!!!

my personal headcannons for the loveliest of lovely little guys <3333

extra info + flags!!

randy: (pan and agender)

-fibromyalgia for sure, trauma does shit things

-probably needs a cane or something similar to aleviate pain (doesn't think he's ill enough to need one, absolutely is)

-if he gets high please treat him like a fish in an aquarium, probably would hate the lack of control

-flushes really easily, and constantly clammy

-if you put a blanket on his head he'll fall asleep

-narcolepsy

-loves the feeling of a nice, heafty, soft quilt and a hot cocoa on a cold afternoon...

oliver: (trans, gay and demiromantic!)

-has a stuffed animal collection 100%

-probably picks up a million different projects only to put them down, a new hyperfixation every week kinda guy

-him being a stoner is basically cannon but, in specifics he seems like a bong or joint guy to me, would let u smoke the first hit (bc he's nice)

-rollerskate date :]

-glasses to at least semi help his shit 'eye' (optical sensor) and lack of depth perception (they can only do so much though)

karen: (nonbinary, lesbian)

-doesn't particularly care about gender as a concept

-has a bunch of tassles and cords in her house she has braided

-can't keep a plant alive to save her life, has mourned at least 20 house plants, has a fake one (somehow dies too)

-mitski.

-the biggest sweet tooth out of the group

-will lock herself away for hours and hours, sometimes an entire day or two, just creating. only to come out of a hole haggard and exhuasted with her New Horse Drawing.

-hEDS, uses a walker to get around!

Norm: (questioning/bi ?)

-writer (how the hell else wouldn't he go absolutely bonkers all alone, other than having a goal and spite i guess)

-uses coffee to live, but definitely enjoys tea in his free time

-probably learned archery at some point

-whittles little sculptures to pass the time (made karen a little wooden horse sculpture once)

-randomly schedules cook outs/junctions when he's feeling lonely and isolated

-he would absolutely take the will graham route and end up with 20 fucking stray dogs out of a deep empathy and then wake up one day and realize the mess he got himself into.

-grilldad. (duh)

phonegingi: (genderfluid, polyamorous, pan)

-gender? yes.

-sexuality? yes.

-will consume your clothes if you are not careful with your gingi Care instructions. (taking little nibbles is okay as a treat)

-if weed is consumed it basically acts as a horrifically strong catnip, and it will get the zoomies and make it everyone's problem

-purrs

-pays really good attention to detail stuff, and its brain is basically a filing cabinet. but big events are basically a blur

-gets SUPER !! fluffy during the winter and there's an awful period where it's shedding and it's...super patchy and silly lookin

-me and the bitches i pulled by being HORRIFYING and lovely,,,,

bigfoot: (aroace. i don't take criticism.)

-banana,,,

-genuinely pretty attentive and smart

-becomes a painter because he is INSPIRED ! by his friend karen

-absolutely splendid lad

-i wanna live in a world where one of his passions is making and wearing silly hats, please, PLEASE

-karen showed him mitski,,,god help him he's sad now

-knitting,,,he knit giant banana,,,,

#dialtown fanart #randy jade #oliver swift #karen dunn #norm allen #phonegingi #bigfoot dialtown #dialtown #dialtown hc

[fckoffjakegyllenhaal]

fallingforyou (3)

// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //

warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, pining, mutual pining, oblivious!reader, hints of underage drinking, lowkey jealous lottie if you squint, lottie is an idiot

(this is part 3, you can read part 2 here, and part 1 here)

on this night and in this light (i think i’m falling)

“don’t you think we should be, i don’t know, actually working?” lottie questions sardonically, and you turn your head to scowl at her from where you’re laying on the rug in your room. a new episode of sabrina the teenage witch was playing and you were excitedly watching it. “shut up! sabrina is talking!” you hiss warningly, causing the yellowjackets sweeper to roll her eyes in annoyance, while you turn your gaze back to the tv. “why didn’t you tell me you were going to be doing this the whole time? i would’ve just gone home.” it’s a blatant lie, but you don’t know that, and lottie doesn’t want to tell you otherwise.

you scoff, “yeah, sure. after the way you acted when i cancelled yesterday? you’re stuck here now.” the comment is supposed to annoy lottie, but it doesn’t. it doesn’t annoy her at all, the thought of being stuck here with you. lottie blinks rapidly, trying to shove that thought so far away, she’ll never have to deal with it again. “you don’t like sabrina?” you ask, gesturing to the tv, and lottie shakes her head. “i don’t really watch tv.” she mutters her response, making you furrow your brows and laugh lightly. “seriously? aren’t your parents loaded? i thought you’d have a huge theater where you watch all your favorite shows and movies.” you tease her, causing her to glower in your direction.

“you thought wrong.” she retorts, but there’s something in her tone that you can’t quite place. you can sense the shift in demeanor, but you don’t press the subject. lottie is like an animal you’re trying to tame. she could snap at any moment for any reason. you know lottie is like this for a reason; you can’t help but wonder if maybe her mother is just as angry as her. or perhaps her father has a temper. “well, either way… it’s been kind of nice having you over.” you start cautiously, and lottie looks over at you; her tenebrous gaze meeting yours.

“i just mean, i get lonely sometimes even though i’m here with my siblings all the time. it’s nice to have someone to spend time with.” you ramble, and lottie’s eyes seem to soften in a way you’ve never seen before. “i like being here with you too.” lottie says before she can think twice, taking not only herself by surprise, but you as well. a faint blush creeps onto your face, and lottie takes in how pretty you are. before either of you can say anything else, your older sister barges through your bedroom door, causing you to jump.

lottie looks annoyed at the intrusion, and she sends a scowl the older girls way. elise stares at you for a moment, furrowing her brows as she notices how flushed your cheeks are. she can nearly feel the tension in the room. “mom said dinners ready. she served your friend a plate.” the eighteen year old comments, flashing you a knowing look. you nod, “okay! be there in a minute.” you aimlessly respond, trying to keep your eyes away from your sisters. you do everything to stop blushing but it doesn’t seem to work. elise reluctantly leaves without saying anything else, and lottie clears her throat.

“i feel bad your mom has been setting an extra plate for me. i didn’t even ask if it was okay…” lottie trails off, insecurity laced throughout her tone. you shake your head quickly in protest, “my mom likes you! she thinks your nice, and she doesn’t mind.” you assure her, “besides, my dad always works super late so he never eats with us. there’s always an extra seat.” you ramble a bit, and lottie feels a bunch of mini starbursts in her chest; going off rapidly one by one. she swallows thickly, “thanks.” she doesn’t know what else to say and internally cringes at her response. you get up, flashing her a little grin that causes her belly to flip in an uncomfortable way.

“come on, matthew’s, before my mom gets pissed.” you taunt, waiting for her to get up from her seat on your bed. she follows you out of your room, chuckling slightly, “i can’t imagine your mom angry. she’s so tiny.” lottie makes you giggle, “trust me, she can be terrifying. have you ever heard that shorter people are more likely be evil because they’re close to hell?” your retort sounds serious, which makes it even more hilarious, and lottie can’t help but burst out laughing. you giggle as well, and you don’t even realize elise and your mother are staring at you both with inscrutable looks.

you and lottie aimlessly take a seat beside each other, and lottie smiles at your mother. “thank you, mrs. l/n. this smells delicious.” she says politely, and your mom offers her a smile. “you’re welcome, sweetheart. it’s carne asada, beans, and rice, y/n’s favorite.” she admits, and elise snickers, “basics just like her.” the older girl chimes in, and sabrina giggles while you flush. lottie looks at you, and she can’t stop thinking about how pretty you look when you blush. surely she’s notice how pretty you were before, but she can’t remember ever thinking about it. elise is the only one who is aware of the way lottie is looking at you.

“so mom… maria invited me to a get together at her sorority house. can i go after dinner?” elise asks hopefully, and your mom gets this skeptical look on her face. “a get together? at a sorority house?” she questions uncertainly, obviously not buying it. “yeah! it’s just a few of the girls! please mom?” the oldest teen asks, putting on her best puppy eyes. lisa quirks a brow challengingly, “then you wouldn’t mind taking y/n with you?” she asks, smiling in a condescending way. she obviously seems to know elise will refuse to bring you along. your eyes widen at the same time elise’s do.

“me!?”

“her!?”

you both respond to your mother at the same time, and lisa nods simply. “if it’s a get together, then you should have no problem with taking your sister. besides, when was the last time you two did anything together?” the older woman asks, and a glower etches itself onto elise’s features. “why can’t i go too!?” sabrina asks, pouting and clearly upset. “because you’re failing english, and need to study.” lisa pointedly responds, and elise huffs. “fine. i’ll take her, but she’s gonna be complaining the whole time!”

your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline, and you protest quickly. “i don’t wanna go! it’s friday night, and the last thing i wanna do is spend it with elise and a bunch of her weird friends!” you flash your mom a pair of begging eyes, “please don’t make me go.” lottie commends your mother for having the willpower to go against those eyes because damn, she feels her resolve slipping and the peculiar need to step in and protect you kicks in. “i can go with you guys. just so you’re not stuck there alone.” lottie offers, and your head turns to gaze at her.

you blink a few times, clearly confused as to why lottie matthew’s would want to spend a friday night with you. “but didn’t you get invited to becky martin’s bonfire?” you inquire, and lottie shrugs, “i wasn’t gonna go to that anyways.” she lies, but you seem to believe her because you flash her a grateful expression, “i mean if you really wanna be stuck with elise’s friends all night, then sure.” you half joke, making your older sister scoff. “my friends aren’t that bad! i mean at least i have more than three, unlike you!” she hisses, and you roll your eyes.

“ever heard of quality over quantity?” you sardonically retort, making lottie chuckle. elise narrows her eyes at you, “you’re so lucky moms forcing me to bring you.” she mutters, as she continues eating.

after dinner you and lottie head back to your room, and you’re a bit quieter than usual. “you don’t have to go just for my expense, you know? i know you were planning on being at that bonfire tonight.” you say softly, and lottie tenses up as you call her out. there’s no malice or anger in your tone, but lottie frowns. “if i wanted to go to that bonfire i would. i’m hanging with you tonight.” she responds adamantly, and the way you smile washes all of her doubts away.

“okay then, i guess i’ll start getting ready. you already look pretty, but we can stop by your house if you want to change?” you suggest and lottie shrugs, trying to ignore the sensations inside of her that she gets when you call her pretty. “i’ll just go like this. i mean, it’s just a bunch of elise’s lame friends. they’re probably just gonna talk about books and stuff.” she jokes, and you giggle, making her stomach get all knotted up again. god, she really hates that feeling.

throughout the entire way to the sorority house, lottie can’t help but occasionally steal a few glances at you. you had decided to wear a pair of tight black flare jeans, and a cropped fur coat that apparently belongs to elise. lottie wasn’t used to seeing you outside of your usual school clothes. you’d mostly wear jeans and sweaters; hiding every part of yourself. though tonight lottie had a hard time keeping her eyes off you. as soon as elise pulls into the parking lot of the campus, you can hear loud music in the distance.

your confusion only seems to grow as the music gets louder, the closer to the sorority house you all get. finally, your steps begin to falter when you realize you’re approaching a house with a few drunk students outside. someone was laying on the grass, and another person was holding her friends hair while she threw up in a bush. “elise this is not a get together! this is a frat party!” you exclaim angrily, as a large guy drunkenly stumbles past you guys. elise actually looks guilty for a moment, but the expression is quickly replaced by an angry one. “that’s why i didn’t want you to come! god, mom treats me like i’m a fucking kid! i’m eighteen; i should be allowed to have some fun.” she snaps, and you sigh.

“you should’ve just been honest with me. or snuck out like a normal person your age! now i’m stuck here!” you begin to argue with the older girl, who huffs in response. “yeah, cause being at a college frat party is every seventeen year olds worst nightmare. seriously, y/n, when was the last time you were even invited to a party?” elise sardonically asks, and you frown. “i’ve been to parties!” you internally cringe at how stupid you sound, and even lottie knows you’re lying. she’s only ever seen you at one party before, and even then you had left early.

elise shakes her head in dismay, “i bet you wouldn’t even know what to do at a place like this.” she challenges, and lottie frowns when she sees the determination on your features. “well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” you provoke her back, suddenly thinking about those new shoes you’ve been wanting for a month. elise lights up, and lottie thinks it’s the first time she’s ever seen her look so excited as she talks to you. “fine. if you can get a guy or two to dance with you, and actually let loose… i’ll buy you anything you want from the mall. under a hundred and twenty bucks.” she says and you nod in agreement. “deal.” you confirm, holding your hand out for your sister to shake.

lottie gets a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as the three of you walk into the sorority house. immediately lottie is alert and aware of how many people there are in here; how crowded and dim-lit the house is. losing you here would be easy, and it’d take lottie forever to find you. elise ditches you as soon as she sees her friends, and lottie hates that she’s thinking about what it’d be like if she didn’t come. you’d be stuck here, alone.

“at least they’re playing good music.” you comment, noticing an upbeat spanish song was playing. lottie’s cheeks turn a shade of crimson red as she flushes timidly. “i failed spanish class last year… i think i’m doing really bad in french too this year.” she reveals and you let out this tinkling laugh that causes her to stare at you. she takes in how you look under this lighting; your hair was clipped back in a half updo, but it was still curled in this carefree way that made lottie think you looked absolutely beautiful. she glances away, trying to think of anything but that.

“it’s okay, i suck at french. i only passed spanish class because it was my first language.” you tell her, and she smiles at the admission, “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to learn another language, it’s like my head just can’t grasp anything other than english. spanish is sexy though.” lottie blurts out, and you raises your eyebrows in a bit of amusement as her cheeks burn in humiliation. she has no idea why she just said that.

“here you go pretty ladies. you two look like you needed a drink.” a deep voice intervenes, as you look to see a tall frat boy handing you both cups. lottie speaks before you can even think about it, grabbing your hand, and grasping it firmly. her grip sends a jolt of electricity down your body, and you lose all train of thought as soon as she touches you. “we’re good, thanks though.” she says in that usual not-so-kind voice before pulling you away. “hey! i’m supposed to be getting guys like that to dance with me if i want to win the bet!” you argue, pouting as lottie begins to look for the drink station. she rolls her eyes, making a face of clear disdain at the fact that you’re actually going through with elise’s stupid challenge.

“you’re not seriously going to try and win that stupid bet, are you?” lottie gives you the third degree as she questions you, and you frown at her tone. you aren’t really sure why she sounds so upset. “well, yeah, i mean i want some new shoes and it’s an easy win. how hard can it be to get a few college dudes to dance with me?” you ask uncertainly, and lottie only seems more and more annoyed as you explain yourself. “these guys don’t just wanna dance with you, y/n. they’re all here looking to get laid.” she states, the contemptuousness in her voice causes something inside of your abdomen to tingle.

“obviously i’m not going to let them do that, matthew’s.” you respond as you both come to a stop at the drink station. lottie scoffs as she begins to make your drinks, refusing to answer you anymore. you frown, “you’re such an ass.” you mutter, only adding to her annoyance. she shoots daggers at you with her eyes, “me?? because i don’t want some gross college guy trying anything with you?” she sounds serious, and you can’t help but let your frustration wash away as you realize she’s just worried about you.

“if i didn’t know any better i’d think you’re actually starting to care about me.” you say carefully, as lottie hands you a cup of cranberry vodka. “yeah well, good thing you know better.” she murmurs, and before you can get another word out, an older guy approaches you both. “hey, i’m chris.” he introduces himself, flashing you a shy smile. “y/n.” you respond back, and lottie tries to hide the obvious distaste towards him while he eats you up with his eyes. “do you maybe wanna dance, y/n?” he asks hopefully and you’re about to say yes, when you remember lottie’s obvious indifference towards the bet.

“no, i’m okay. i’m here with someone else.” you simply respond, and the look of disappointment and humiliation etches itself onto his face. “oh, yeah. cool. i’m sorry. i’ll see you around then.” he quickly apologizes before rushing away in the opposite direction. lottie looks at you, visibly befuddled as to why you would turn him down. you shrug at her reaction, taking a sip of your drink, “i can always just blackmail elise into getting me the shoes. she’s not even supposed to be here, let alone have me here. moms gonna flip.” you laugh lightly and suddenly a sense of relief courses throughout the raven haired girl.

she isn’t sure why she was upset at the thought of you dancing with some other guy. the mere thought of some seedy dudes hands on you made her blood boil for reasons she didn’t understand.

it isn’t until lottie is laying in bed later that night; the image of your pretty smile and eyes are the only thing that she can see when she closes her eyes, that she realizes what this is. lottie matthew’s isn’t stupid; she’s aware of what’s happening… she just doesn’t want to admit it. because just last month lottie hated you; now she couldn’t get you out of her head. she was falling fast and she wasn’t sure if she could stop.

#lottie mathews x reader #lottie x reader #lottie x fem reader angst #lottie matthews angst #lottie matthews x you #lottie matthews x y/n #lottie yellowjackets #yellowjackets #lottie matthews x fem reader #lottie matthews x fem reader angst #lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews icons #lottie matthews

[my-castles-crumbling]

Warmth- Jegulus holiday fluff!

Hi guys! You voted on a holiday present and this is what you chose! It's hogwarts-age jegulus, AU-no Voldemort, background wolfstar holiday fluff! Enjoy!

Regulus always associated the holidays with the cold.

A cold house. A cold bed. The coldness of his family.

And he was so used to the way his family did things.

It started with planning. So much planning. Making sure everything, every minute detail, was perfect. That the menu was impeccable. The decor, superb. The outfits, tailored and luxurious.

Regulus and Sirius were expected to be flawless representations of their House and ‘Superior Bloodline.’ Put-together and polite; seen, not heard.

The pressure was more than intense.

And the actual party?

So many people. So many high standards.

The chit-chat was suffocating, and Regulus always dreaded it.

There was nothing personal about the holidays. No time for family. Only networking. Putting on a show. Making sure their family was constantly on top.

It was cold.

Regulus spent the entire day feeling lonely.

So, when Regulus first agreed to spend the holidays at the Potters’ he wasn’t sure how to feel. He knew, of course, that the Potters were pureblood. Well-off. They probably had fancy parties, too.

“What shall I pack?” he asked his boyfriend one day while they were studying, close to break, realizing his old dress robes might not fit any more. Did the Potters expect him to wear his custom-made twelve-piece robes, or would some of his more comfortable three-piece outfits suffice?

“Pack?” James asked, looking a bit distracted. He was currently trying to figure out what looked like a botched Potions essay, and Regulus knew he would have to take pity on him and help soon. “I mean, it’s a bit cold. Make sure to pack some extra jumpers.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, endeared by the taller boy’s oliviousness. “I meant for the party.”

“Party?” James asked, looking quite shocked. “We’re going to a party?”

Now his patience was wearing a bit thin. “On Christmas, James. Won’t your family have a party?”

James laughed out loud at that. “I mean, it’ll be my mum, dad, Sirius, Remus, and both of us. Is that what you mean?”

Regulus thought about that. “So…no party?”

“No,” James answered, looking a bit concerned. “Is that alright? I know your family-”

“It’s perfect,” Regulus nodded, quickly pulling James’s mess of an essay toward himself. “This is not.”

-

As soon as the boys arrived in the bright, warm kitchen of the Potter Manor, a woman swept Regulus into a hug so quickly he almost yelped with surprise.

“Regulus. It’s wonderful to meet you,” the woman hugging him said warmly.

“Don’t suffocate him, mum,” James admonished, throwing Regulus a grin as he hugged what could only be his father.

But Regulus, who normally hated being touched, especially by those he didn’t know, found himself melting into the embrace. He realized almost instantly where James got it from- his safe, kind, accepting persona. His warmth.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. and Mr. Potter,” Regulus stammered as Euphemia released him. “Thank you for inviting me to your home.”

“Effie and Monty,” Monty replied easily. “And how could we not? James talks so much about you, you’re practically family already."

James turned bright red at this, and Regulus smirked a bit. Sirius made a gagging noise from behind them.

“As if you don’t talk just as much about Remus,” Effie chided him, pulling him into a hug as well.

“Mum! I’m supposed to be the favorite!” Sirius pouted, making Effie grin.

“I have no favorites. Though if we’re going by number of times I’ve gotten letters of complaint from Minerva McGonagall, then Regulus is currently the favorite,” Effie retorted, making Regulus turn pink.

Even though both Sirius and James protested more about that, it was clear that all the comments were in good fun. They were laughing. Smiling. Enjoying each other’s company.

He’d never experienced family like this before. It was strange. The warmth.

-

Regulus quickly figured out that he liked Potter Manor almost as much as he liked Hogwarts.

He, James, Sirius, and Remus (when he arrived a few days later) spent their days flying, lazing around, going into the Muggle town nearby and exploring. He knew that Monty was a Potioneer, but he was thrilled to find that once he tentatively asked the older man about his work, Monty was eager to show him everything he was working on. He even let Regulus help.

He also found a piano, tucked away in a lonely room on the fourth floor, and spent hours at a time just playing, reveling in being able to just be, while James, Sirius, and Remus caused chaos Merlin-knew-where.

He felt safe. Wanted. This, he realized, was how family was supposed to feel.

-

He’d believed James, of course, when he’d said there wouldn’t be a party. But he was still unsurprised, somehow, when on Christmas morning, he was awoken at dawn by someone shaking him awake. Good thing he packed something presentable.

“Happy Christmas, Reg!” James whispered into his ear.

“Mmmpfh,” Regulus mumbled into his pillow. “Thought you said there wasn’t a party?”

“What? No, I…I have something to show you. Will you come with me?” James asked, looking a bit nervous.

“Alright.”

It was early, and cold. And Regulus was thankful, really, that he’d listened to James and packed multiple jumpers because he pulled two over his head, blearily following the taller boy out of his room.

“Sorry it’s so early. It’s just…I’ve been trying to get you alone for days and I figured if I try before Sirius is awake, I’d have more of a chance,” James grinned a bit sheepishly.

Regulus snorted. Sirius had been quite the nuisance over the past few days. Every time James and Regulus had had two minutes alone, he just appeared. “He’s your best friend, Potter.”

James chuckled, leading Regulus to the front door.

“Outside?” Regulus blanched. He might have two jumpers on, but he wasn’t dressed for the snowstorm currently raging outside.

“Trust me?” James asked, levelling a challenging look at Regulus.

And fuck James Potter, because he knew that the answer to that question was yes.

“Alright,” Regulus murmured, shivering as James rapped his wand sharply on Regulus’s head. A feeling of warmth slowly seeped through Regulus’s very veins, like he’d stepped into a hot shower.

“C’mon,” James said, grabbing his hand and guiding him into the storm.

-

They walked for a few minutes, hand-in-hand, through the raging snow. Even as the storm persisted, however, Regulus could only feel warmth. No wind, no cold. Just the comfortable heat of James’s spell and their intertwined hands.

It was loud, however. And it was hard to see. “James, where the hell-?” Regulus yelled, feeling a bit nervous.

“Not much farther now! It’s just here!” James called to him, dragging him a few more feet before stopping.

Then, James pulled out his wand again and tapped it on seemingly nothing, before pulling Regulus a few more feet forward.

Regulus was thoroughly confused for a moment, until-

Quiet.

They seemed to be in a bubble. Almost a reverse-snow globe. Their little space on the ground, about ten feet in diameter, was quiet. Warm. Free of snow. But outside, the snow still fell and the wind whipped it around.

It was strangely beautiful. Haunting but safe.

“Just here,” James said softly, guiding him to a blanket on the ground.

Shocked, Regulus lay on the blanket, allowing James to pull him close, as they looked up and watched the snowstorm surrounding them.

“James, this is-”

“We used to do this all the time when I was a kid,” James explained, circling his thumb on Regulus's back soothingly. “On Christmas, especially. If it snowed, my dad would come out and set this up. And we’d just sit out here and watch. Be together.”

Regulus moved a bit closer to James, feeling so incredibly content. “This is what your family does on Christmas?”

He felt James shrug next to him. “It’s nice to just…escape sometimes, you know? And I just wanted to be with you.”

Regulus felt tears prickle his eyes as he took that in. It was somehow precious, to be shown this tradition. To be allowed this window into James’s life. To be included and wanted and loved.

And it was so warm, here.

Here, in the snow. Here, in James’s arms.

“I love you,” he whispered, kissing James softly.

And he lost himself in the warmth of the kiss.

Hope you guys liked it! Please leave comments and kudos, I need them more than I need a nap (a lot!)

#marauders #harry potter #marauders era #fanfic #marauders fandom #harry potter marauders #regulus black kinnie #jegulus #the marauders era #marauders fic #the marauders #marauders fanfiction #james potter #james x regulus #james fleamont potter #james potter is the sun #james potter x regulus black #james and regulus #regulus arcturus black #regulus black #regulus deserved better #james loves regulus #fluff #christmas fluff #fanfics #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3fic #my fic

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

⭒❃.✮:▹ holiday hoes

“so if you’re keen to listen, here’s an offer i’ll propose. let me work and i’ll provide you with a touch o’ that gold!” —liquid gold, lackadaisy

❝for the christmas spirit I’m going to be doing something… special, this year~

for the following days, i’ll be challenging myself to write an nsfw prompt that’s holiday related, based on the prompt list i gave myself. the masterlist will be posted soon enough, so stay tuned~❞ —kosmo

the list will update as each day passes. all fics are NSFW and must be read with caution!

ALL readers are gender neutral, however some fics may have gendered body language.

┅✦┅

✿ prompts ✿

1. “all dolled up” — phantom x reader, lingerie

- you wanted to look extra pretty for phantom on the holiday season

2. “a different kind of warmth” — swiss x reader, cockwarming

- when the icy cold temperatures hits, swiss has his own unique way of warming you up

3. “gingerbread houses” — aurora x reader, food play

- what a fun little activity to do with aurora! surely she won’t have any other ideas in mind… right?

4. “red ribbon” — rain x reader, bondage

- there was leftover ribbon from gift wrapping that you decided to use, and maybe you’re just the best gift for rain

5. “naughty list” — terzo x reader, spanking

- how sad… you ended up on the naughty list, looks like papa terzo will have to ingrain some discipline into you

6. “candle queen” — sodo x reader, wax play

- the scent of the candles just made this year extra cozy, maybe sodo has some tricks up his sleeve for how to make things cozier

7. “frosted windows” — cirrus x reader, mirror sex

- the fogged windows are perfect places to trace pretty little shapes on, cirrus however has a different shape in mind

8. “come watch me play” — vessel x reader, exhibitionism

- vessel likes to put on a show for the christmas cheers. what kind of performance does he have in mind?

9. “unwrap your present” — cumulus x reader, stripping

- you came home from a long day of work, just finally getting that well deserved vacation. cumulus has a pleasant surprise waiting for you

10. “festive little fantasies” — copia x reader, toys

- your gift for copia surely got him excited….

11. “picture perfect” — iv x reader, aphrodisiacs

- ivy was not expecting this little christmas get together to get all.. steamy.. but now he has you all to himself

12. “not so angelic” — omega x reader, corruption kink

- the little angel that came down from heaven to spread the joyous spirit… surely omega won’t try anything

13. “holiday blow” — iii x reader, blowjob

- as iii is writing letters to his loved ones, you decided to give him a little treat underneath his desk

14. “stuffed like a present” — mountain x reader, cum bulge

- mountain wants to give you something that’ll leave you completely filled

15. “nice list” — secondo x reader, praise kink

- what a good pet you’ve been… and it looks like secondo has taken notice

16. “blind to the light” — ii x reader, blindfolding

- ii wanted to add more spice to the bedroom for this year, and spoil you prettily for his holiday affairs.

17. “give you more” — zephyr x reader, overstimulation

- you decided to be extra generous to zephyr, and assist him when he’s in dire need of some love and affection

18. “my special gift” — sunshine x reader, thigh riding

- sunshine has a special way of showing off what’s hers.

19. “miss me on holiday season” — aether x reader, sexting

- aether is away for the festive spirits, that doesn’t stop you from missing him though

20. “just this once” — ifrit x reader, hate sex

- stuck in a log cabin with an old enemy, except ifrit’s been feeling extra lonely this christmas

21. “take me to church” — swiss x reader, blasphemy kink

- christmas is all about celebrating the birth of jesus… swiss wants to show you off to him

22. “forever ingrained” — vessel x reader, photography

- a new polaroid camera? vessel is getting a few ideas on what to do with it…

23. “christmas tree” — phantom x reader, public sex

- while searching for the perfect christmas tree, phantom finds himself needing some attention

24. “sharing is caring” — sodo and rain x reader, threesome

- sodo and rain learn to share their special gift

25. “merry christmas” — all era iv ghouls x reader, fuck party

- the ministry is all decorated in festive decor and it truly feels like the holidays are in season! now… what do these ghouls want to do with you?

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

#ghost fanfiction #sleep token fanfiction #ghost bc x reader #sleep token x reader #the band ghost x reader #papa emeritus x reader #nameless ghouls x reader #vessel x you #vessel x reader #holiday prompts #holiday writing #smut prompts #smutty drabble #ghost bc smut #nameless ghoul smut #sleep token smut #spicy content #christmas prompts

[icyharrington]

So I Can Get Mine, And You Get Yours (Eddie Munson X Reader)

hayyy so for some reason this fic took me like a million years to write even though it’s short ??? idek lmaoo but anyways this shit is finally done !!! i hope y’all like, once i’m done with this im gonna go back to working on some requests and stuff in my inbox!! and feel free to send any ideas u might have uwu

description: after your weed stash is discovered and confiscated by your parents, you’re desperate for a re-up but are unwilling to spend the extra cash. lucky for you though, eddie munson is willing to work out a deal.

contains: sexual tension, dom!eddie, drug mentions, stoner reader lmao, blowjobs, deepthroating/face fucking, dirty talk, eddie is a slightly perverted yet charming asshole, tha reader sucks dick for weed lmao

wc: 5.1k

tagging: @jargotquinn @wordsaretheonlyescape @ankokubunka @rottnteen @msunravelled @animesnowstorm @send-me-a-cryptid @itsanithemenace @lenora91 @mxh0neylol @reddesert-healourblues @capricornrisingsstuff @i-me-mine @somnobun @harrystylesplschokeme @harringtonfan4 @bimbobaggins69 @sarahgarlic @xxlilyxx90 @daddy-long-legolas @virgovixen89 @manicpixieautismgirl @hahahafucku @stephanie-nicks76 @f-me-reid @winterton-reads @dixontardis @kleinegamerin @bbellee @bohemianrhapsody86 @for-hearthand-home​

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my most valued and reliable customer,”  Eddie Munson says with an evil grin as the front door of his trailer swings open. He reclines against the doorframe, eyebrows raising in amusement at the sight of you standing there in front of him.

You’re situated on his porch, huddling your arms together beneath your baggy coat as you shiver in the mid-autumn chill. Narrowing your eyeliner-smeared eyes into a glare, you shove your way past him into the gentle warmth of his home.

“Shut up,” you say irritably, which makes Eddie throw his hands up like he’s at gunpoint.

“Just come right in, I guess!” he exclaims, slamming the door shut in your wake to keep out the cold air. Unfazed, you throw yourself back onto the living room couch, ignoring the look of utter annoyance that stretches itself across Eddie’s angular features when you do. “Now that you’re nice and comfy, what the hell do you need?”

As if the chip on his shoulder is unjustified, you let out an offended scoff. Stalling at his question, you will yourself to break contact with Eddie’s gaze. “…Weed.”

Eddie folds his arms in front of his chest, staring you down; he’s wearing a leather jacket with his Hellfire tee underneath, paired with gray-black jeans and combat boots. With the shitty yellow glow of his trailer surrounding him ominously as he looks down on you with near-black eyes, he almost appears intimidating, but in all honesty, you’d be more afraid of a golden retriever than of Eddie Munson in most situations. He likes to play himself off like he’s some kind of unpredictable bad boy, dealing drugs after school and wreaking havoc in the hallways by way of his wild antics, but you’re not stupid, unlike most of the other Hawkins high attendees.

You’ve been regularly buying weed from Eddie for a few months now; once a week you’ll meet him under the staircase at school to purchase a half-ounce, occasionally sticking around for some idle conversation.

He always struck you as a lonely kind of guy- somebody with a lot to say, but nobody to say it to. You’d nod along as he rambled on about his band, or the assholes at school he hated, or Dungeons and Dragons, which you would pretend to understand just to humor him. He was a nice, if not slightly geeky and eccentric dude, and you could never quite understand the fear your classmates harbored for him.

“Ouch, (y/n). And here I was thinking you just wanted to spend some time basking in my presence.” He shakes his head with a click of his tongue, his face contorting into an exaggerated display of devastation. “What the hell happened to the shit I sold you this morning?”

You grit your teeth into a wince, reminded directly of the cause for your bad mood. Flailing back dramatically against the throw pillows beneath you, you flash Eddie a helpless look. “God, don’t even get me started, Eddie.”

“The cops didn’t catch you, did they?” He knits his brows, voice dropping to a concerned whisper as his spindly frame hunches over you. “You didn’t rat me out, did you? My uncle will be so fuckin’ pissed if our trailer gets raided.”

“No. Worse,” you say flatly, stifling a giggle when his dark eyes expand cartoonishly with alarm. “My mom found it.”

You’d made the mistake of tossing the baggie of weed in your sock drawer before heading to your evening shift at the record store, only for your mom to come across it while putting away laundry that evening; when you’d arrived back home later in the night, you found your mother, red-faced and teary, sitting at the kitchen table across from a box of Kleenex and your stash. Blubbering endlessly about life paths and bad influences, any outsider would have assumed she’d caught you lighting a crack pipe redhanded.

He lets out a prolonged exhale in a combination of relief and exasperation, shaking his head at you like a disappointed parent. “And how exactly is that worse?”

“You haven’t met my mom.” You reposition yourself on the couch, sitting upright and crossing your legs in favor of a less unhinged approach. “She’s gonna be on my ass until the end of time now.”

“Sorry, I’m still having trouble seeing how that’s worse than getting raided by the police,” Eddie says, rolling his eyes as he starts towards the hallway, where you assume his bedroom is located. “So what do you want? Another half?”

“That’d be nice,” you say, chewing your lip apprehensively. You decide not to say anything else until he returns with what you want, spreading your hands out on your knees and drumming your fingers restlessly.

You wouldn’t consider yourself a stoner, though you’ve been smoking daily since your sophomore year of high school, after befriending a few punk-obsessed senior kids who introduced you to it; at this point you’re probably semi-dependent on the naturally occurring substance, but you can’t bring yourself to stop- you love the way it makes you feel, all cozy and content, your cheeks aching from smiling at every damn thing you cross paths with.

You know it’s mildly pathetic to have walked all the way to the trailer park after midnight with the sole intent of replenishing your confiscated stash, but you hate the thought of spending a weekend without any weed.

On second thought, maybe you are a stoner.

When Eddie emerges from his bedroom, he’s carrying a twisted-up Ziploc bag, a telltale earthy green shade visible through the transparent plastic. He swings it back and forth as he approaches you in the living room, humming something off-key to go along with his needlessly jaunty strides. “Should I even sell this to you? Kind of a waste to sell if mommy’s just gonna add it with the other contraband.”

“Hey!” You feel your cheeks burn in response to his teasing, which is embarrassing enough of a reaction in itself- why do you care what Eddie Munson thinks, anyway? “She isn’t going to find it this time.”

He examines the bag thoughtfully, holding it above his head so that it catches in the room’s sallow lighting. “I dunno, (y/n). I dunno.”

Eddie’s doing what he does best: putting on a show, and you don’t know if he’s merely acting on his ever-present impulse to behave idiotically, or if he’s purposefully being an asshole- either way, you can feel your patience gradually depleting by the second. “Eddie, seriously- don’t be a dick. I walked all the way here.”

“That was your idea!” he exclaims, visibly dumbfounded by the audacity of your demeanor. “What if I was all out, huh? Then you’d be shit out of luck, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, good thing you’re not,” you say defiantly, extending a hand in between the two of you with an obnoxious grabbing motion. He’s starting to really get on your nerves now, though you assume it’s intended. “Just give it to me, Eddie.”

He acts like he’s going to hand you the bag before he abruptly retreats his arm to loop behind his back, shoving it into his back pocket. “Not so fast. I want my ten dollars.”

Glancing down at your palms in an attempt to avoid Eddie’s expectant stare, you fidget uncomfortably in your seat, before blurting out, “Yeah, could I maybe get it for free? Just this once?”

Eddie lowers his chin towards his chest, his eyebrows raising in disbelief; you force yourself not to look at him, knowing fully well that you’re making a complete ass of yourself right now. “Sorry, I don’t think I quite got that. Did you say free?”

Fuck. Out of all the people you figured you could get free weed from, Eddie seemed the most likely to oblige, but obviously you’d misjudged him. Maybe you do need to cut back on the Mary Jane, because damn- you’re really starting to act like a corner-store crackhead. You’re growing increasingly more embarrassed with every moment Eddie’s dark eyes remain fixed on you, but you’ve already made the journey, so really, there’s no point in backing down now. “Well, yeah. I mean, I didn’t even end up smoking the other shit I bought. My mom probably threw it in the trash.”

Eddie laughs, though you get the impression he’s doing it at you, rather than with you. “Do you think drug dealers come with fuckin’ insurance or something?”

You stifle a frustrated groan, fully realizing the stupidity of your request now that you’re being called out. Still, you refuse to let him catch on to your self-awareness, choosing instead to double down on your argument. “C’mon, Eddie. I only make three-fifteen an hour and I already spent half my paycheck on cassettes.”

“Well, damn, (y/n)! Learn to manage your finances better, then!” He speaks with a lighthearted tone, but his body language communicates a prominent irritation, his arms crossed firmly over his slender midsection. “If I give you weed for free, then I’m going to lose money, and I’m already strapped for cash. Plus, if word got out that I gave you a freebie- I’d have a whole line of desperate potheads begging outside my door instead of just one.”

You gasp at the bluntness of his remark, huffing out when you can’t think of anything clever to come back with. “I wouldn’t tell anyone you gave it to me for free. I swear.”

“Like I said- I’m too broke to be giving away goddamn goody bags,” Eddie snaps, angling his head to glance not-so-subtly at the front door, before flashing back to assess your flushed face. “I know you probably thought I’d cave at the sight of a pretty girl at my doorstep since I’m a freak who gets no female attention and all that, but I’m sorry to tell you that I actually run my business with integrity.”

The whole of Eddie’s statement blindsides you, and you find yourself blinking wildly as your mind races to process it; he’d just called you pretty, to your face, as matter-of-fact as reciting the alphabet. You can only pray that your complexion doesn’t redden too drastically as you feel your cheeks prickle and flush, but you somehow carry on, feigning indifference to the best of your ability. “You’re a drug dealer, dude. I don’t think there’s any way you can do that with integrity.”

“You can think whatever you like, sweetheart,” Eddie says as he taps your shoulder twice, signaling you to get up, which you do, albeit reluctantly. Once you’re back on your feet, you’re reminded of your height difference, though it had never really crossed your mind in the past; perhaps it’s your close proximity to him that makes it seem so much more conspicuous now, with Eddie looking down on you- literally- from mere inches away. “My answer is still absolutely fuckin’ not.”

“It’s just ten dollars worth of weed!” you yell, not unlike a child being denied a balloon in a grocery store.

“If it’s just ten dollars, why can’t you pay me, huh?”

He bows his head so that his dark, frizzy hair curtains either side of his angular face, shrugging nonchalantly, despite the pride that you can see gleaming within the mischievous blackness of his eyes. Check-fucking-mate.

It dawns on you that you’re probably just going to have to accept not getting your way, and you pout, giving up on trying to convince him. “Because I’m broke.”

“Well, so am I!” He looks at you like you’re out of your mind, and you can almost agree with him, though you’d never say so out loud. During the resulting lapse of awkward silence, you can see him start to ponder something, his mouth screwing up in earnest thought until his tone eventually shifts.“Y’know, if you showed up at any other dealer’s house at this time of night with no money, they’d probably think you were coming to fuck them for drugs.”

Your mouth drops open, and for once, you’re genuinely speechless. The worst part, however, is that he has a valid point- you really are acting like someone trying to whore themselves out for drugs, aren’t you?

“Oh, come on, (y/n). Don’t look at me like you have no idea what I’m talking about.” He chuckles, his eyes dropping to briefly scan you over. You’re not wearing anything scandalous, despite the self-consciousness that floods your body as he surveys you- just your thrifted jeans and an oversize corduroy jacket, hardly the appropriate attire for drug prostitution.

“Um, ew?” you manage to retort, stepping backwards until your calves are pressed up against the couch. There isn’t much space available for you to create any meaningful distance between the two of you, so you’ll just have to settle for the time being. “I totally did not come here to fuck you for weed, you pervert.”

“Oh, so I’m a pervert now for pointing out the obvious,” Eddie says, his hands splaying out theatrically in front of him. “I’m just saying what it looks like, not that I want you to! Jeez!”

You scoff without really thinking, insulted. “Oh, so if I did offer you something in return, you’re saying you’d turn me down?”

Eddie just looks at you with a perplexed expression, before his lips twitch upwards at the corners, giving way to a self-assured smirk. There’s a devious glint in his eyes that you’re not familiar with, and when you peer back up at him, your body inadvertently shifts and squirms. “Not necessarily.”

You attempt to back away but can’t, seeing that you’re cornered up against the couch with nowhere to go. The air is somehow thicker now, more tense, and there’s an invisible hum of electricity that gnaws at your fingertips; it’s like you’re frozen, your limbs stiff and unresponsive, and you gulp, hyper-aware of the sudden tilt in atmosphere.

Eddie’s smirk intensifies as he witnesses your bad attitude slip away, your disposition no longer bold, but trembling and timid. “I don’t normally accept trade offers in the form of sexual favors, but hey, maybe if you ask really nicely, I’ll consider it.”

“Fuck you.” The words come out immediately, desperate to mask  your humiliation with some sort of vitriolic statement, but the effect isn’t what you were hoping for; your voice shakes weakly, and there’s no punch to it, no bite to let him know who he’s messing with. “I would never fuck you, for weed or any other reason. You’re creepy and a freak.”

You’re a bit guilty for getting so nasty with him, but at this point you’ll do anything to prevent your pride from enduring any more blows. Eddie just poises a brow skeptically, cocking his head to one side. “Yeah, I’m so much of a creep that you felt safe coming to my house in the middle of the night to beg for pot, isn’t that right?”

“I wasn’t fucking begging you!” You stomp your foot to accentuate your point, though it just comes off like you’re throwing a tantrum.

“Right- you were just asking persistently, then,” Eddie quips, growing more smug with each second that passes while you cower. “You’re reaaaallllly digging a hole for yourself right now, aren’tcha, sweetheart?”

“Whatever,” you say flatly, finally gathering the courage to step out of Eddie’s way, awkward in your movements as you shuffle toward the front door. “A simple no would’ve sufficed, but I guess being a douchebag works too.”

You’re taken aback when he stops you, his long, jewelry-clad fingers wrapping loosely around your upper arm. There’s a friendlier appearance about him now, and you figure he’s trying to ease up on the intimidation. “Hey, c’mon! I didn’t tell you no, remember? I just said you’d have to ask me nicely.”

You jerk your arm back, scowling, even though your heartbeat inexplicably quickens when he touches you. “Yeah, you said that about me fucking you for weed, and that’s not happening.”

“Why’re you so shy all of a sudden, huh?” he asks, moving beside you to snake an arm around your shoulders. You can smell the cigarette smoke that clings to the inky leather of his jacket as you catch yourself inhaling deeply, and this time, you don’t pull away. “You’re saying you don’t want this?”

He retrieves the half-ounce of weed from his pocket, dangling it above your head like bait. Eddie’s weed isn’t even that good- there’s more seeds and stems than actual flower, and you have to smoke a whole joint’s worth to even feel anything, but damn, do you want it. There’s just something special about his supply, something that caused you to stop buying from all the other dealers in Hawkins and focus your business loyalty solely on him. You give the weed a purposefully-indifferent side-eye, commenting, “What happened to you being too broke to give away free shit?”

“See, hon, it isn’t actually free if I get something in return.” He leans closer to speak directly into your ear, giving you goosebumps when he uses one hand to sweep your hair out of the way. “I like you, (y/n). Like I said- you’re a valued customer. That’s why I’d be willing to work out a deal for you.”

He talks like a Wall Street broker closing in on a deal, which you’d probably laugh at, if you weren’t so fucking nervous. You don’t know what to make of the events that unfold before you like a scene in a bad porno, but you still have a hard time believing that Eddie Munson is actually trying to seduce you right now; part of you wonders if he’s putting on a show in an attempt to teach you a lesson for intruding on his space. “I already told you, Eddie. I didn’t come here to fuck you.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re too good for all of that trashy nonsense,” he deadpans, rubbing your shoulder in circles with his callused palm. “Pretty girls like you should never give more than a blowjob for some Mary Jane. Right, princess?”

It’s like you’ve just taken a blow to the stomach, with the way his words knock the wind out of you; you quickly turn your head to hide the unmistakeable rosiness that blooms across your cheeks, although the effort is futile. “I- I didn’t say that.”

“C’mon, babe. You really think I believe that you came all the way here just to ask me for a little favor?” He gives your shoulder a condescending pat, chuckling at your efforts to evade him. “You knew exactly what you were doing.”

Had you known what you were doing, at least in your subconscious? It wasn’t like you’d put much thought into your plan before carrying it out, but what if there was an ulterior motive you weren’t even aware of? Are you really so disconnected from yourself that you’d be this clueless to your own intentions?

The way your body reacts to his closeness, however, tells you that Eddie “the freak” Munson has a profound affect on you, perhaps on a far deeper level than you know.

“Sure, if that’s what you wanna believe,” you say dismissively as you place one hand on your hip, regaining a bit of your cool exterior to scan his face over in search of any sign that he’s fucking with you. He appears entertained by your flustered state, but there’s also an earnest look behind his dark eyes, signaling to you that he’s down if you’re down. “But if you wanted me to blow you in exchange for the weed, you could’ve just asked.”

“You’re the one who’s gonna need to ask me, sweetheart. I’m giving you a pretty good deal, don’t ya think?” He bats his lashes mockingly at you, apparently in the mood to drag this little power play out for as long as possible; you can tell it’s turning him on, just from how quick and sharp his breathing is becoming.

As much as you hate yourself for it, you’re turned on, too, with an aching warmth making itself known between your shifting legs; logically, you know you should be ashamed for partaking in such a degrading activity, but physically? Well, that’s a different story altogether.

“Fine, if it helps boost your ego,” you mutter, shocked with yourself for even retaining the ability to speak. You try to keep your words straightforward and unemotional, managing an even “can I blow you for weed, Eddie?”

He looks at you like you’re stupid, letting go of his hold around your shoulder as he drops to sit down on the couch. “I, uh, think you might’ve forgotten something there, (y/n).”

Rolling your eyes, you watch as he unbuckles his belt noisily, leaning back against the throw pillows expectantly. He’s really having fun with this, isn’t he?

“Can I please blow you for weed?” you say through a pained wince, causing a triumphant grin to spread across his face as he continues to undo the front of his pants. Your question is ridiculous, pathetic even, but it’s music to his ears, his head falling back to let out a whoop of obnoxious laughter.

By now, you’re almost positive that this treatment is payback for calling him a freak, and while you probably deserve it, you can’t help but resent him for being an asshole anyway.

“See? Now, was that so fuckin’ difficult?” Eddie chides, eyeing you expectantly as he pulls his jeans and boxers partly down his thighs, exposing himself to you. He’s almost fully hard, and it’s evident that he’s packing a lot more than you ever would’ve guessed, with his thick, flushed length curving gently to one side. You sink onto the floor in front of him, wedging your way between his parted knees so that you’re face-to-face with his hefty dick, which is big enough that you’re actually intimidated by it. “Well, I guess since I’m in such a good mood, I’ll allow it. ”

He puts the bag of weed on the couch next to him, to provide with a good view of what you’re sucking him off for.

“You’re such an asshole,” you murmur, getting into a position where your mouth can reach him. You pretend to be fixated by the view of your own fingers taking hold of his cock, refusing to find out what sort of cocky expression is painted across his angled features.

“Yeah, yeah. I can act however I want,” he says while winding his fingers through your (h/c) hair, not implementing any real force to his grip just yet. “My house, my weed, my rules.”

“Whatever you say, dungeon master,” you say wryly, winking at him as you permit some saliva to dribble from your mouth and onto his cock, which twitches in response to your tongue-in-cheek nickname. You close your mouth around his leaking tip and suck on it lazily, your eyes heavy-lidded as they look up to drink in his admittedly pretty features.

“Yeah, that’s a good fuckin’ girl. You gotta earn it,” he encourages, his hand settling on the back of your head, still entwined with your hair. “D’you do this with all the dealers? Huh?”

You glare up at him resentfully, dipping your head to take him further into your mouth, his skin smooth and salty as you run your tongue along one of his prominent blue-green veins.

Taking advantage of the fact that he has a tight grasp on you, Eddie pushes your head down all the way until you’re gagging on him, causing you to move your hands to splay over his thighs; after a brief moment admiring you as you squirm, he moves you back several inches in a gesture of mercy. “Fuck. Yeah, you want it bad, don’t you? Fucking burnout slut.”

The harshness of his tone causes your head to spin, your panties soaked completely through; you’re sure he can sense how much you like it, because he jerks your head back down until your face is nearly flush with his pelvis once again.

“Must’ve smoked all your brain cells away if you thought you could pull one over on me,” he continues, and although you can’t see his face, you can practically hear the smirk within his voice. He lets up, allowing you the opportunity to bob your head freely up and down his thick cock, sputtering and drooling as you do so.

Hissing, he administers a sharp tug to your scalp, resting his head back as you explore him with your hot, needy mouth; his jaw is unhinged, giving way to a string of profane grunts, hips rocking up beneath you to make contact with the back of your narrow throat.

“Fuck, babe. Yeah, that’s it.” He uses your hair as reigns, guiding your motions to better suit his liking. You’re rendered temporarily speechless, your only sounds being the crude wet noise of your mouth being filled and fucked. “Goddamn, your mouth feels so fuckin’ good.”

The sound of his praise only fuels your avid movements, your fingernails digging through the denim of his jeans, clinging helplessly to him. You purr when he affectionately strokes you from your forehead to the base of your skull, the heavy metal of his rings assisting to cool your feverish skin. “Fuuuck, (y/n). Keep going.”

Doing as he says, you make an effort to take his cock all the way into your throat, peering up from underneath a veil of mascara-coated eyelashes. Eddie’s eyes are closed as he’s enveloped in your inflicted ecstasy, but they flutter open momentarily to meet yours, giving you a goofy half-smile when he notices you. He only abandons his douchey persona for a lapse before swiftly getting back into character, bucking his hips up fiercely into your mouth.

He rolls himself on your face, relishing in the sounds you make, the vibrations reverberating throughout his bottom half. You focus on taking your air in through your nose, ushering shallow gulps of oxygen that are only effective in keeping you from passing out.

“Gotta swallow it all if you really wanna earn it,” he groans, voice hoarse and gravelly. “You gonna do that for me, princess?”

He yanks your head off of his length, and you cough as spit strings rudely from your swollen lips, tears spilling out from the corners of your eyes. He waits for your composure to return, pursing his lips impatiently until you’re done wheezing.

“Yes, Eddie,” you say weakly, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, completely forgetting that you’re wearing dark mascara (not that you looked any more polished beforehand). He basks in your disheveled appearance, petting your cheek and using his thumb to rid your face of tears, seeming drunk off the sight of you.

“Good girl.” He stands up from his spot on the couch, bringing you into an upright kneeling position by the root of your hair. Obediently, you open your mouth up for him, lolling your head back so he can slide himself deep. “Gonna make me- fuck- cum so hard, baby.”

You go limp as he fucks your face, enjoying the defenseless sensation of being used so carelessly. The arousal is loud and unrelenting as it burns through your core, your thighs squeezing together, needing friction. God, why the fuck had you only offered to blow him?

Eddie’s stomach flexes beneath the cotton of his shirt, and you know he’s about to climax, his head tilted back to fixate on the chipped ceiling. “Shit. Open your mouth.”

Once again, you’re taken off of his cock, which he angles above you, one hand working at his glistening length while the other holds you still.

It only takes a few more strokes before he’s releasing his hot cum into your waiting mouth, adorning the back of your throat with heavy ropes of white. Just like you promised, you swallow it all down with a slutty grin, licking your lips as you shrug your shoulders coyly.

“Holy fuck. Never woulda guessed that (y/n) (y/l/n) is a fuckin’ whore,” he laughs breathlessly, tucking himself back into his boxers and buttoning his jeans. He motions with his head to the half-ounce that still sits untouched on his couch, his fingers hastily buckling up his sturdy black belt. “That’s all yours, babe. I think you earned it.”

“Glad you think so,” you say with a sardonic raise of your brows, snatching up your prize and stuffing it into the inner pocket of your jacket like he might change his mind at any second. “So I guess this is when you tell me to get the fuck out?”

Eddie double-checks that is buckle is properly secured before squinting at you incredulously, seemingly put off by your suggestion. “Are you fuckin’ crazy? You think I’m gonna send you walking off into the night for any hillbilly with a van to snatch you off the side of the road?”

“Eddie, you are a hillbilly with a van.” You fold your arms in front of your chest, somewhat bashful at his sudden protectiveness.

“I am not a goddamn hillbilly, (y/n),” he protests, patting himself down until he hears the faint jingle of his keys from his coat pocket. “Y’know, I could always take my offer back if you’re going to be ungrateful.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” You hug your jacket tighter around you, a challenging expression situating itself over your features as you fight to stand your ground. “What, you think I’m your little slut now or something? I don’t need you to protect me, Eddie. This was a one time thing.”

“No, stupid,” he says as he slides his ring of keys into view. “It’s called not wanting to find your missing poster plastered all around town tomorrow morning. I’d be a piece of shit to let you go, blowjob or otherwise.”

“Whatever,” you mutter bitterly, tucking your hands into the corduroy material of your oversize jacket. “Just remember that this isn’t happening again.”

“Which part? You blowing me for weed, or just hanging out with me at my trailer?” He slips his hand around your waist as he walks you to the door, a hopeful ring to his words.

You stifle a grin, leaning into his shoulder unintentionally. “I’d hardly call what just happened hanging out.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe we can some time, yeah?”

It’s difficult to ignore the way your insides twist, your heart thundering wildly into your ribcage, threatening to break loose. Eddie Munson has successfully charmed you, a feat you never would have thought possible until now, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing it just yet.

Curving your lips into an inhibited smirk, you blink at him sweetly. “Yeah. Maybe.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #joseph quinn #stranger things #stranger things smut #stranger things x reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #mine #stranger things x you #stranger things fanfiction

[helladirections]

Under Summer Skies

(the long awaited Campfic)

a/n: As an alumni of 11 years of Jewish Summer Camp, this fic means more to me than anything else I have ever posted on here. I’ve been planning to write this for as long as I can remember, and working on it for at least 2 years. I hate editing and literally spent months editing. So if it’s terrible please do not tell me.

Author: @helladirections Pairing: Harry x YN Status: Complete Word Count: 37k

MASTERLIST | PATREON | USS TAG | WRITING TAG

Deleted Scene - Campout Extra 1: Lemon Over Ice

Summary: Harry and YN are longtime best friends back for another summer as the Dream Team on staff. Featuring getting called out by 12 year olds, two dumb best friends who can’t see what’s right in front of them, and lots of stargazing.

Preview:

“Listen to me YN. I’ll be here for everything you need. I can be everything for you. Let me be everything for you.” He took a deep breath, shifting his hand from her jaw to rest on her cheek instead. “I can tell that you’re lonely, but I’m literally right here. Let me be here for you. I just... I want you to be happy. Let me make you happy.”  “I’m so lucky to have a friend like you, Harry.” 

Read below or on AO3 or Wattpad

Pool time was, objectively, one of the most frustrating parts of the day for YN. 

Not because she didn’t like the pool or the kids were difficult - actually it was practically an hour off for most of the counselors because the campers were fenced in and watched closely by lifeguards. No, it was frustrating because she was constantly tempted by Harry’s body in a swimsuit, even though he rarely went swimming. 

He wore no shirt and a pair of swim trunks with a shorter seam than she deemed necessary, causing YN to be sometimes distracted by his honey golden skin, which only tanned more as the summer went on. His muscles looked like he could be a professional wrestler, but really he only ever used them for soft, welcoming hugs. His deep green eyes always made the person he was looking at feel like they were the most important person in the world. His chocolate brown curls were often disheveled in exactly the perfect way, the only real sign of exhaustion from a hard day’s work. 

There was no doubt in anyone’s mind, Harry was the cute counselor. Even before campers arrived and the staff was still in training, other counselors were falling all over him, just begging for a piece.

Even YN would be lying to say she wasn’t distracted by him at least a little. They were lying beneath the shade of an overhang during pool time; Harry preoccupied with drawing on the back of his clipboard and YN focused on a new, complex friendship bracelet pattern. His skin glowed in the sun, a littering of tattoos on display now that his shirt was off despite the fact that he had no intention of going swimming. And if YN looked close enough (which she definitely did not do) she could just see the light dusting of chest hair he had started to grow in the last few years. 

They were a reasonable distance away from the campers, taking advantage of this time to catch up with each other and only keep half an eye on the kids while they were contained and supervised by three lifeguards. They were gossiping about staffing changes among the higher-ups, a rumor that Mitch was hooking up with YN’s co-counselor Sarah, and that Harry’s co-counselor Niall had been hungover when he got back from his last day off. But mostly, they were sitting there together in relative silence. It was nice, and comfortable. 

Eventually, Harry broke the silence, snapping the cap back onto his sharpie and letting his clipboard rest on the ground next to him. 

He nudged YN’s feet with his own, outstretched as he rested back on his hands. “What are you doing for cabin time tonight?” 

“Not sure, why?” After two weeks, she had used up most of her easy evening cabin activities and hadn’t had a chance to start brainstorming new ones yet. 

“Thought it might be fun for me to come in. Do a little question time, see what’s on their minds.”

“Really, with kids this young?”

Harry turned to look towards the campers for a moment. Half of them were still enjoying the pool, the other half pretending they were too cool for it and sitting around the edges gossiping or playing cards. 

“Why not? Y’girls been staring at me for weeks now, must have somethin’ on their minds.” He gestured towards a group of five or six of her campers, sitting around in a circle whispering and looking over at them, quickly looking away and giggling when Harry waved to them. 

YN mulled it over. She had ten campers in her cabin, half of them eleven and half of them twelve. They would definitely be excited for anything involving Harry. 

“Alright,” she relented. “I mean, they do adore you.” 

“I’m staying in the cabin though,” she clarified. “I know a couple of mine wouldn’t want to be left alone.” 

He shrugged. “That’s fair. Y’little one always struck me as quite shy.” 

“Oh no,” she laughed. “She’s the most rambunctious of the bunch. Did I tell you what we caught her planning the other day?” 

As YN told him the story of the shenanigans her camper had gotten up to, she was reminded of when she and Harry were that age, getting up to similar mischief. Long before Harry was the cute counselor, he was a camper with a reputation, notorious for sneaking out at night to make out with whichever girl was brave enough to risk getting caught. YN, however, was never Harry’s kiss of the week. He never offered, so she never asked, and she buried her little crush in the back of her head to make room for a friendship instead. If he wasn’t busy locking lips with someone, he was still sneaking out, but with platonic intentions to watch the stars with YN. 

It was around age 16 or 17 that YN realized it was futile to have a crush on Harry. For one thing, she had too much competition and she could never really compare. And for another thing, having a crush meant being awkward and he just seemed so nice she would rather be able to have an actual conversation with him without trying to uncomfortably flirt (a skill she never truly mastered). That’s when they started eating meals together and sharing items from care packages and gossiping about their friends. It was when they discovered their special spot by the lake and they snuck out to go stargazing and not touch each other. Some of the other girls noticed that they were getting close, but no one ever thought it was anything more than a friendship. More than a few times, YN was asked to put in a good word with him for other girls, hoping that next time he snuck out it would be with them. And sometimes it was, but he had turned down makeout sessions on numerous occasions to stargaze with YN instead. 

YN never really stopped thinking Harry was cute, or sweet, or any of the nice things the other girls said about him, because he was. She just stopped putting so much emphasis on those things and treated him like a whole person instead. And somewhere along the line, he started treating her like a whole person as well. 

They kept in touch during the school year as they got older - time zones made it difficult while he was back in England but they got creative. YN knew all the gossip at Harry’s school across the ocean, and he knew hers. He called her on holidays, even the American ones that he didn’t celebrate. Sometimes they would text at all hours, first thing in the morning for one of them and last thing at night for the other. But they managed. 

So YN gave up on a crush and instead she earned a best friend that she trusted with her entire being. And that trade-off seemed pretty fair to her, looking back. Boys would come and go, but Harry had become a constant, and she didn’t want it any other way. 

As they entered into adulthood, they grew even closer. YN had always been very independent, sure, but there was something inside of her that craved companionship that she was never quite able to satisfy. Except for Harry. 

Their first year on staff together they were assigned to the same age group for the first half of the summer and from the get-go, there was something special between them. It was even to the point where Mitch, the camp director, noticed that when they were together, kids listened better, cabins were cleaner, and the kids were more engaged in programs. So YN and Harry appropriately started calling themselves the Dream Team and no one ever tried to correct them. It felt nice, YN realized roughly three-quarters of the way through that summer, to feel like she was doing life with someone (even if that someone was a different person than the someone she was hooking up with, but that was beside the point).

So it was natural that when they both came back for their second summer on staff, they were smart enough to equip themselves with cheap little walkie-talkies so they could stay in touch throughout the day and night, seeing as there was no cell service out in nature. Without some lame asshole trying to take advantage of her, YN found herself clinging to Harry even more than the year prior. If he noticed, he never said anything, and he seemed to enjoy being with her at least equally as much. Harry never tried to change her mind about anything important, never tried to pry if she made it clear she wanted to keep something to herself, and never allowed her to feel alone or unloved, which was something she had definitely never experienced before. He made it clear that he valued her independence, her strong-willed nature, and her opinionated mind. Every ex she had ever had, including the one from the summer before, had attempted to change or alter some aspect of who she was, and Harry never did. Instead of trying to reel her in and make her fit into a specific place in his life, the two of them were equally part of each other’s lives, cheering each other on and supporting one another in whatever they were doing or saying or thinking. 

To no one’s surprise, they were placed in the same age group together again, too. Unfortunately, they were given the most difficult age group - 11 and 12-year-olds - which Mitch validated by claiming the Dream Team could handle anything. Middle schoolers were difficult for lots of reasons - some had started puberty and had the hormones of teens but the knowledge of children. Others hadn’t yet and felt the pressure to keep up with their peers. They still needed to be reminded to brush their teeth every night, but if they were left alone for too long they might start trying to kiss each other in the middle of the field. 

She knew it would be a bit difficult, but everything was made slightly easier with Harry by her side. It meant they could spend quality time together during the day, and when he talked, the campers would actually stop and listen to him. Plus, the girls definitely thought she was cooler since she was so close with the cutest counselor. Unsurprisingly, they were pretty obsessed with Harry. And honestly, YN didn’t blame them. 

It was like Harry was born to be a camp counselor. He had something about him that entirely bloomed if he was in the right setting, and YN was confident that their summer camp was that setting. He was fun, energetic, and he played the guitar. The kids loved him and his silly antics, and the staff wanted to be near him. He had the most beautiful British accent which made everyone stop and listen, even the most ruthless campers. And of course, he was undeniably cute.

Before long, the lifeguard blew his whistle. YN and Harry each stood up and started counting their campers, getting ready to head back to the cabins to shower and then on with the rest of the day and other activities. The two of them were glued together as always while they sent their campers off to electives, sat in the daily staff meeting, played sports on the field, and wrangled everyone for dinner. And they walked together leading the group to their evening activity for the day. Which at the three-week mark in the summer was a talent show in front of the campfire. 

The talent show was a camper favorite and the counselors even came up with a clever name for it a few years ago - Talents Under The Sky (TUTS). So, after every act instead of applauding the audience would “tut, tut, tut” as if they were disciplining a toddler. It made no sense, but everyone bought into it and it brought out laughter so it was definitely a winner as far as Mitch was concerned. 

YN was mostly relieved that she was going through this with kids that were old enough to have actual real talents, and not the 8-year-olds that all insisted on doing skits about nothing that made no sense while speaking too quietly for anyone to hear. Her campers sang songs, did gymnastics, and told jokes. One of Harry’s even attempted to rap. He was a total mess, but you’d never know based on the way that Harry cheered him on and congratulated him when he got off the stage. 

After all the kids had their turn, a few of the counselors decided to step up and show off as well. Sarah read slam poetry that was clearly a joke and had the kids bending over with laughter. And Niall brought out one of his golf clubs to hit pinecones with, allowing some of the campers to run out into the field and measure which one went the furthest. But YN had limited skills and didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of campers who already only thought she was cool when she was next to Harry, so instead of going up on stage, she used her marshmallow roasting talent to build s’mores for all the kids. 

Harry, on the other hand, was actually filled with talent. As the last act of the night, he joked that he was headlining the show. With a guitar in hand, he stepped up to the stage. Lit by the fire in front of him, his skin glowed even more than it did under the bright summer sun. His rosemary eyes reflected the sparks of the fire, twinkling in a way that made it so YN couldn’t look away (she almost burnt a marshmallow but blew out the flame just in time). But mostly, YN thought he looked at peace, at home. Sitting there on the stage in front of campers, staff, the fire, and YN must be his happy place, YN decided.

He pursed his lips to the side as he sat there on a chair and looked up at the sky considering what to play.

“Anyway, here’s Wonderwall,” he started with a chuckle and no other introduction. 

The campers sang along, but Harry’s voice came across strong and clear over them. It didn’t really matter what he was singing, his voice would always be soothing to her ears. It reminded her of years past, of their own campfire talent shows, of music elective as a camper, and late nights under the stars. She felt goosebumps on her skin, but brushed them off as caused by the chilly night air. 

By the end of the song, every camper had a s’more and YN switched her focus to making one for herself (and one for Harry after he finished playing guitar). 

Harry let out a breath. “Ok.” he slapped his own legs with finality. “That was... not too bad, right?” 

Most of the kids cheered for him, but one of the boys from his cabin called out “that was trash!” giggling as he spoke. 

“Early bedtime for you tonight, I think,” Harry called out with a laugh. “Alright, I know we said everyone got to do one song but... I’m in charge so I’m gonna do another and no one can stop me.” 

A few of the campers laughed and YN smiled as she finished putting together the sandwich treats for herself and Harry. 

“Some of you might know this song, but I’m not sure. It’s one of my favorites and it’s called Girl Crush.”

YN sat on a bench, her own s’more in hand as she gazed up at Harry in front of her. Curled in on herself and her sweater to keep warm, YN admired the way the stars framed his face. She could feel a bit of marshmallow finding its place on the corner of her mouth, but she didn’t mind - the treat in her hand tasted good and the majority of her attention was on Harry and his guitar. 

His voice sounded beautiful with everything he sang, but for some reason on this last song, YN felt completely enraptured by his angelic tones. He belted out notes that she didn’t think he could reach, lyrics clear and melody soothing. And if she didn’t know any better, YN could swear he was looking over in her direction a little too often. 

There was a moment at the end of the song - all the campers and staff were silent as Harry was singing softly, his gaze directed at YN, eyes wide and unblinking. He finished the last word, strummed the last chord, and in that moment, it looked like he was going to say something. Taking a breath, he opened his mouth, but no words came out. His audience waited for a beat or two, expecting him to say something with finality, but he didn’t. All he did was cock his head to the side, look into YN’s eyes, and sigh. 

“Alright, a round of applause for all of our very talented friends tonight!” Sarah called out, breaking up the moment. 

Harry blinked a few times and turned his attention back to the rest of the group, clapping along with the campers. He stood up and walked off the stage, removed the guitar strap from his chest, and went to sit next to YN, taking the s’more out of her hands with a small smile of thanks but not saying anything.

When YN got her campers back to the cabin after closing circle, they were still hyped up from TUTS, but mostly they were gushing over Harry’s singing. 

“He sounded so pretty and his hair looked so cute!” 

“Oh my gosh did you guys see the way he was looking at YN while he sang that last song? He’s totally in love with her!”

YN realized it was time to cut them off and shift their attention. “Brush your teeth please, but don’t get changed for bed. We’re having a guest tonight!” YN called out when she got her campers back to their cabin. 

The girls immediately started giggling and chatting, giddy with excitement as they tried to guess who would be coming and what they would be doing. For the most part, they followed her instructions and cleaned up the floor for their guest before sitting together in a circle in the front of the cabin by YN’s bed. She checked her watch - Harry should be there any moment, it couldn’t take that long to get his boys ready for bed and leave them with Niall. 

It was sweet, the way the girls were all jittery and excited without even knowing what was in store. YN fondly remembered nights exactly like this when she was their age. Sure camp taught her how to climb trees and tie-dye shirts and sing new songs, but the untold truth was that camp was the perfect place to learn about boys and kissing and dating, and when she was only a year or two older than her current campers she appreciatively remembers a girl telling her about blow jobs. It seemed so grotesque back then - boys don’t even wipe when they pee, why would she want to put that in her mouth? 

Finally a knock at the door.

“Hello? Yeh all decent?” Harry called from the other side of the cabin’s door. 

The girls shrieked.

“Yeah, come on in,” YN replied. 

Harry walked in, ducking his head to make it through the barrier which had been originally built in the 1930s and had hardly been upgraded since. When he looked up and made eye contact with her, YN couldn’t help but notice how bright his deep green eyes looked, even after a long exhausting day of being a camp counselor. He had on a pair of worn-out jeans with holes over the knees and a baseball t-shirt with a yellow collar and sleeves, which showed off his arms nicely.

He made his way over to the center of the cabin and sat down on YN’s bed next to her. The girls were all smiling and whispering to each other. 

“Y’need anythin’? Water?” Harry asked YN softly, holding up his own water bottle. 

YN chuckled a bit. “H, this is my cabin, I’m good.” 

“Just making sure,” he shrugged before turning his attention to the campers. “Alright ladies,” Harry started. He almost always referred to the girls as ‘ladies’, and YN secretly loved it - it was sweet that he was giving them that kind of respect. The campers quieted down, looking directly at him like whatever came out of his mouth was going to be the most important thing in the world. “I’m here tonight to do a question time. Ask m’anything you want. Can ask about me, or about boys, or camp, or school. Whatever’s on y’minds, alright? All questions are valid and I’m an open book.” 

He smirked, looking over to YN next to him. The area was small and their shoulders and legs were touching as the aging bed sagged in the middle from their weight. 

A few girls raised their hands to start asking questions, and Harry called on them one at a time. They started rather innocently.

“What’s your middle name?”

“Edward.”

“How many years have you come to camp?”

“This would be m’tenth.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Pink.”

But it wasn’t long before they strayed... 

“What color is your underwear right now?”

“Blue.”

“Boxers or briefs?”

“Do y’even know what the difference is? Anyway boxer-briefs.” 

“How old were you when you had your first kiss?”

“Hmm...” he paused. “Think I was thirteen. Happened here at camp actually, out behind the Oak cabin if m’not mistaken.”

“Ooh tell us the story!” 

Harry smiled, looking over towards YN. He opened his mouth to speak but one of the girls interrupted him.

“Oh was YN your first kiss?!?!?” 

Harry chuckled. “No, no. But she was kind of there if I remember correctly.”

YN nodded at the memory.

“Was with a girl in my age group named Anna. Though she was quite cute, so I gave her the pot I made in art elective. Sat next to her at every meal for three days, too. Finally, she slipped a message to me to meet her outside behind her cabin at midnight, when she thought her counselors would be gone. So me and Niall snuck out of our cabin and met her. We got there and she had a friend with her, so our two friends walked a little bit away. Was quite awkward, but she was sweet.”

“I was in the cabin,” YN clarified. “But we were all staring out the window.” 

“And your counselors were asleep?”

Harry laughed again. “No, we underestimated how late they would stay up. Got caught red-handed, we did.” 

The campers laughed. 

“But I want yeh to know, it’s ok if you’re a lot older before you have your first kiss, or younger, or however old. The most important thing is that it’s a good experience, right YN?” 

He looked over at her for reassurance and she nodded. 

“And always remember, you never need to define yourself by a romantic partner. You are all strong little people who will grow up into stronger bigger people. And if you really want a partner when you’re older, you’ll find one who respects you for who you are. But don’t ever be afraid of being alone.” 

The campers totally looked past her well-meaning, deep-hearted advice. “How old were you, YN?” 

“Hey now, that’s for another night. This is Harry’s question time, not mine,” she teased back at her camper. 

“Harry, do you have a girlfriend?” 

He took a deep, shaky breath and stared at the ceiling for a moment before answering. YN knew the question must be difficult for him. He’d been dating a girl back in London for around six months when he heard back that he had been hired to work at camp for another summer. She didn’t want to come with him. She didn’t want to do long distance. She didn’t want him to leave. 

Harry called YN out of the blue one day - well it was the middle of the night for him, that’s why he said he called her instead of a friend in London. He told her that he didn’t want to wake anyone up. And he wanted to know what she thought since she was his best camp friend. And she was honest with him. 

“Look H, I can’t tell you what to do. But I want you to be happy and I know I’ve never seen you happier than when you’re on a hike to the hidden campsite. And someone who really loves you should also want you to be happy. But I don’t know. Maybe you’re happier with her and I haven’t seen it. Just... do what makes you happy H, yeah? 

He broke up with her the next day and called YN in a blubbering mess. 

“No, no I don’t,” he answered softly.

“You should date YN!” one of the younger ones called out without missing a beat. 

YN felt herself blushing, but she wasn’t sure why. Campers always wanted their counselors to date each other. And it wasn’t the first time someone had suggested it to the two of them. But he was sitting close to her, legs and arms touching, lounging on top of her favorite blanket. It had been a while since she had even considered it. But there was no point in thinking about it, really - they were best friends and she wouldn’t risk anything to lose him.

Harry flashed her a toothy smile, and if she didn’t know any better, YN would’ve sworn she saw a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. 

“I don’t know, ladies. Your YN’s got staff boys falling all over her,” he teased. “Of course they know they have to get through me, first,” he said, puffing out his chest in show. 

She gave him a playful shove and they both laughed. They both knew it wasn’t true.

“You’d be so cute though! Harry could sing to you and you could go on romantic hikes and he clearly likes you, everyone can tell.” 

Harry was smiling, all in good fun until that very last statement. His brows were high on his forehead, eyes wide. He coughed. YN tried to read him, but it was hard. Other than shock, he wasn’t giving much away. Taking a deep breath, he looked back over to YN. Their eyes met and she shrugged.

“Have you ever dated each other? Or kissed? Or anything?”

Both of them shook their heads. “Nope. YN is my best friend. We’re the dream team, right?” he looked to her for a nod of agreement. “I’m so lucky to have her in my life.” 

“Ok, well, what’s your favorite thing about YN?” 

Harry looked at her for a moment. “I like... I like that she’s kind to everyone, even if they don’t deserve it.” 

Most of the campers let out a little “aw” as she blushed at his response. But the little one wasn’t satisfied with the answer.

“What’s your favorite thing about her physically though?”

“Everything,” he answered quickly.

The response kind of took her by surprise. He didn’t even take a pause to think it over, didn’t try and come up with a bullshit work-around answer. Straight up, ‘everything’. What was she supposed to do with that information? Did he actually like the way she looked? 

“Ok, next question?” 

“You sang that song Girl Crush so... do you have a crush on anyone?” 

His smirk spread across his face. 

“A crush is supposed to be a secret, if I tell you then what happens?” he answered. “Can’t have you telling her because then I’ll never get my chance to do it properly, hm?”

“That means yes, you totally do!” 

He shrugged. “Alright, who’s next?” 

“How do I know if a boy likes me?”

“Who was your first crush?”

“What do penises taste like?”

Some of the questions really challenged the statement that all questions were valid and they wouldn’t laugh. But they did their best. YN definitely helped answer some, because Harry for one had no idea what penises tasted like, but he did promise that if he ever found out, they would be the first to get his report back. 

They pushed and pushed about the two of them together. Something about being 11 and 12 years old made it engraved into their DNA that they would never let this go, no matter how many times both Harry and YN reassured the kids that they were only best friends. They asked what his favorite color of eyes was, and then pointed out that YN had that color. They asked what his ideal first date would be, and then cheered about how cute it would be for the two of them to go on that together. And they asked what he likes best in a girl, easily noticing that every characteristic he mentioned matched YN perfectly. 

All together, Harry’s visit was probably the most exciting cabin time they had ever had. They were pretty riled up by the end of it when YN noticed it was ten minutes past their bedtime and forced the session to a close. 

“You can ask me any questions, any time you want. I’m a safe, open book, alright?” he promised them.

“Except not who you like!” 

“Still gotta keep some things to myself, hm?” he said, looking directly at YN. 

After Harry left, YN spent over half an hour getting the campers settled down and ready for bed. All in all, they were good kids, even if tweens were generally awful. At least her kids listened pretty well and everyone took showers. That’s all she could really ask of them. 

She turned the lights out, saying goodnight and walking back over to her bed area. Technically, counselors were supposed to stay inside the cabin if it was their turn for bed watch. But YN’s co-counselor was on a night off, and she hadn’t had a spare minute to herself for far too long, so she changed into her PJs, grabbed her phone, and snuck out the back door. 

Her quiet escape was almost ruined, though, when she walked directly into another body and gasped louder than she meant to. 

Harry put his hand over her mouth as fast as he could.

“Don’t let them hear you,” he whispered. 

She smiled, and Harry let his hand slowly drop away. 

“Scared me, H,” she told him as quietly as she could manage. “This is what the walkies are for, aren’t they?”

He chuckled a bit, taking half a step back and nodding towards the half-wall built in to support the hill a few feet away. They sat together for a moment in silence, looking at the window and listening for any movement that might be coming from inside the cabin. Only when they were both convinced the kids were still in bed did YN released the breath she was holding and turned to face Harry.

“The girls had fun tonight, I think,” she whispered softly. 

Harry smirked. “So did I.”

“After you left they asked me what boxer briefs were.” She paused for a moment, laughing at the ridiculous way the question sounded as it came out of her camper’s mouth. “Led to quite an interesting discussion, I think.”

“Oh, I bet. You’ll have to give me your notes on it later,” he responded.

YN realized she was still holding onto her phone, so she slipped it into her back pocket. She had wanted to come out here to be alone, but being with Harry was undoubtedly better.

“You know,” she started, looking straight ahead towards the cabin. “They’ve been telling me to date you all week.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, probably should’a warned you about that.”

She turned back to see him shrug. 

“Didn’t mind the question that much, really.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why would I mind?”

Because you would never want to date me. Because I could never compare to your ex. Because every straight girl on staff is plotting how to get into your pants. Because we’ve been best friends for years and I gave up hope on anything romantic between us ages ago. Because everyone I’ve ever been with has made it clear that in some way, I’m too much for them.

“Dunno,” she lied. “Kids can make things like that a bit awkward, ya know?”

Harry responded with a noncommittal hum. “I don’t know. They’re just kids - they have crushes and want to start dating and so they project that onto us. ‘S natural.”

“I guess... Sounded good at TUTS tonight,” she tried to change the subject.

“Thanks, love that song. It means... a lot to me...” 

YN nodded, kicking a pebble lightly with her toe. 

“Did you mean what you said when they asked you about the crush?”

“Which part?”

“The part where... well you said you had one but you wouldn’t tell...”

Harry chuckled a bit. “Course I won't tell a bunch of kids like that. When it’s time to tell her I like her, she’ll know.” 

YN looked up at the sky as she contemplated what that meant - that he had already fallen for someone else and her chances with him (that she definitely wasn’t hoping for) were all but forgotten. The feeling wasn’t new, but it meant that maybe one day, sooner than she would like, her place beside him would be replaced with someone else and she would be out on her own again. Which, honestly, was ok. She had gone this long by herself, she could do it again. But she couldn’t deny that she would miss having someone next to her, physically and metaphorically. 

The sun had gone down long ago, and the stars were shining bright above them. That’s one thing she especially loved about camp - the nighttime stars. They were so much clearer than in the city. It was easy to get lost in them if she allowed herself - not unlike Harry’s eyes when he gave her that special look filled with softness and care and something else could never quite place. His eyes were probably made of stardust, she thought. Like someone had snatched one out of the sky, ground it up into little tiny flecks, and scattered them around his face as a little baby. And now, years later, those flakes were still present as shiny spots in his irises, in freckles on his nose, in the little mole under the corner of his mouth. 

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring at the sky before Harry nudged her. 

“Oh, sorry.”

“Lookin’ at the stars again?”

“Yeah,” she sighed. 

“Hey,” he brought her attention back to him. “What do you say we go stargazing tomorrow night? You’ll be off, right?”

It had been a long time since they had gone out together in the late night, walking to the hidden spot near the lake where they would lay on their backs and look at the stars. Sometimes they were silent, but other times they talked about what else was out there, or what shapes they could see in the stars, or anything and everything that came to their minds. 

YN furrowed her brow. “Yeah, but you’ll be on bed watch, right?”

“Technically,” he shrugged. “But Niall owes me.”

She didn’t respond right away. Maybe she was still a bit lost in the stars, or maybe she was lost in Harry. 

“Y’cold?”

“Hm?” she asked.

Harry reached out to rub her arm. “Got goosebumps. Y’want my jacket?”

She looked first at where Harry was trying to warm her, and then quickly noticed what had probably actually gotten his attention. When she changed into her PJs she had taken off her bra, not expecting to be face to face with anyone else for the night. It wasn’t completely out of the ordinary for the two of them to be hanging around in pajamas and braless, but they weren’t usually outside in the cold and her nipples weren’t usually hard and on full display.

She looked between Harry and the cabin, weighing the odds of getting back inside, finding a jacket, and coming out again, all without the campers noticing. Even if she was wearing a bra, she knew that the chances of the whole endeavor working out were fairly slim. And Harry always had the softest sweatshirts.

“Uh, yeah. If you don’t mind?”

“Course I don’t.” He laughed as he pulled off his hoodie for her. “I would do anything, give you anything. You know that, YN.” 

She slipped it on over her head, breathing in deeply when she thought he wouldn’t notice. His smell was so nice. 

“Thanks,” she whispered. 

Harry looked back at her, but she couldn't read his expression. He didn’t respond, just let his eyes meet hers. With a slight smirk, he tilted his head to the side but still stayed silent. 

“What?” she giggled.

“Nothing.”

“That’s a lie.”

He sighed, but with a smile. “You’re right.” 

She thought she had him trapped, but he still stayed quiet. Maybe it was the kids throwing it out only an hour earlier, or maybe it was being surrounded by his scent in his comfy hoodie, but YN might have tricked herself into believing that Harry was looking at her with something a little extra in his eyes. But she knew better. 

“Well whatever it is, I’ll be here when you want to tell me.”

YN figured that he would share his thoughts with her eventually, he always did. She made sure he knew that he could trust her, that she would listen without judging and that everything said between them would stay between them. 

She didn’t know that Harry was thinking about how good she looked in his clothes. About how he would like to see her walking around in one of his large t-shirts and no bra, socks on her cold feet as she walked around his apartment. About how in this particular sweatshirt she just looked so cozy and all he wanted to do was grab her and hold tight, cuddle under some blankets and fall asleep with a smile. About how she’s always on his mind these days. She didn’t know any of that. 

But she listened as he continued on with something unrelated. He told her how Niall had convinced his campers that the dining hall staff actually have a way to measure which age group is eating the most vegetables, so they better eat more or else he could get fired for malnutrition. They sat down together on the cabin porch and he told her about how he had discovered a dusty old guitar in the back of the music room and spent a few hours trying to get it into tune, only to no avail. When an owl spoke up in the distance, she listened as Harry told her about the time a kid in his class when he was 8 years old who was obsessed with owls and talked about them incessantly, and to this day Harry can name random owl facts that he wished he didn’t know.

And she listened until Harry had bored himself, realizing that he had spent the entire time talking. 

“Let’s talk about you, hm?” he offered. 

YN shrugged. “What about? I’m not that exciting, H,” she laughed. “My campers think I’m lame unless I’m with you, I have no idea what life holds for me when the summer ends, and I haven’t even touched a boy since that guy last summer.” 

“Yeah well,” Harry crossed his arms over his chest. “Liam was no good anyway.” 

“He was fine, harmless, H,” she insisted.

“YN, seriously.” His tone lowered. “You keep calling him ‘that guy last year’ but he was your boyfriend. And he sucked.” 

Sighing, YN took a few steps away from Harry, kicking a rock before turning back around to respond to him. 

“Well first of all, he refused to suck, so write that down.” She looked up, expecting Harry to laugh at the joke but was only matched with a concerned face and a raised eyebrow, so she continued. “He just... he made me feel a little less alone, ok?”

“He took advantage of you, YN. He was only nice if he was sober and he told me he never liked you.” 

“I know!” 

Both of their eyes widened at her outburst, forgetting they were standing right outside a cabin of hopefully sleeping kids. They waited for a moment, expecting a voice to come from inside. After it was quiet for a moment, they continued. 

“I know he took advantage of me, H. But no one had ever given me that kind of attention before, you know? He made me feel wanted, made me feel like maybe I could be loved because I could do something for him that no one else could. Made me feel like even if I was ok alone, maybe I didn’t have to be.” 

“I know,” he answered softly, bringing a hand up to her arm and squeezing lightly. “But you don’t need that kind of attention, not from guys like that.” He paused for a moment, looking up at the sky before looking back at her. 

Before he could open his mouth again, she filled the silence.

“But this is what I get, right? Men are trash and I let them in because I’m just a big dumpster fire?” She laughed at the end, looking down at her feet.

“YN, look at me.” When she didn’t, he got stronger. He softly grasped her jaw, forcing her attention back to him and bringing his other hand to rest on her waist. “Stop trying to make jokes to get out of this. You don’t need him, or anyone like him. You have me, and I’ll give you all the attention you want. I won't let you be alone anymore.”

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she processed his words. 

“Listen to me YN. I’ll be here for everything you need. I can be everything for you. Let me be everything for you.” He took a deep breath, shifting his hand from her jaw to rest on her cheek instead. “I can tell that you’re lonely, but I’m literally right here. Let me be here for you. I just... I want you to be happy. Let me make you happy.” 

She leaned her head into his large, supportive palm, and allowed his warmth to spread through her. YN was grateful it was late and there were no lights behind the cabins because if there were then Harry would have seen her blushing at his comment. 

“I’m here, YN. I’m yours. Ok? I’m yours and you’re mine, and we’re going to be ok.” 

He said it with finality, and YN didn’t want to fight him. Instead, she lunged forward arms first, grabbing around his torso tightly and tucking her head into his chest. From her spot against him, she could feel the puff of his breath as her body reached his with a bit of power behind it, and then the way his heart was beating a bit faster than usual. 

He wrapped himself around her quickly, one arm around her waist and the other rubbing up and down her back softly. After a moment, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m so lucky to have a friend like you, Harry.” 

She was flattered that he felt so protective over her. So she listened as he talked about how much cared for her. And she listened as he talked about the standards she should be holding herself to. And she listened as he gave her a hard time for never taking her own advice. And she listened as he gave her comforting words, reminding her that she was worth so much more than she was allowing for herself. 

And she listened when Harry checked his watch and realized he had ten minutes to get back to his cabin and get in bed before curfew. 

The only thing she didn’t listen to was his insistence on her keeping his sweatshirt. 

“I’m like five feet away from my bed, H. You need it more than I do.” 

“Fine, but stargazing tomorrow, alright? Don’t forget.” 

Not that she ever could.

. . .

The next day seemed to have dragged on for ages, even though she knew it was the same daily routine they had been following over the past three weeks. They did group activities, sports time, meals, electives, pool, shower time, and more group activities. But still, the day felt like it was never going to end, there was always something next other than spending alone time with Harry. She did see him literally all day and ate every meal sitting next to him as always, but looking forward to stargazing that night made the seconds tick by slower than ever. Bedtime couldn’t have come soon enough. 

As the closing circle wrapped up and kids hugged each other goodnight, YN felt a firm but soft hand come to rest on her back. 

“Click the walkie three times when you’re ready,” he whispered, reminding her of their code. “Meet me in the parking lot, ‘ve got a surprise.” 

She could hear the lilt in his voice and knew without even looking that he was trying to hide his signature smirk. YN couldn’t for the life of her figure out what kind of surprise he might have in store for them, but the butterflies in her tummy came back in full force. Taking a breath, she nodded her head. Harry’s body was close enough that she could just barely get a whiff of that signature smell he carried around with him. She wanted to drown in it.  

Back in the cabin, she waited for a while to help the girls get settled into bed. It was Sarah’s turn for bedwatch, so YN allowed her to take the lead on calming everyone down and getting them into bed. Before turning out the lights, she changed into comfortable clothes and grabbed her walkie-talkie from the shelf next to her bed.

“YN!” one of the campers whisper-yelled to her. 

She whipped her head around until she spotted a camper on a top bunk lying with her head in her hands, watching YN. She walked over, resting a hand on the bunk. 

“Where are you going tonight?”

YN couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Just on a little adventure. If I’m not back by morning, call the authorities... or call Harry,” she joked before turning back around.

“You’re going on an adventure with Harry?!” the camper cheered out. 

Suddenly the calmness in the room was shattered as most of the campers were sitting up in bed, asking questions or yelling out reminders (specifically that if Harry ever let her touch his hair she was required to report back to them in vivid detail what it was like). 

“I knew you were dating him!” the first camper called out again.

YN laughed under her breath as she gathered up her things for the evening. “I’m not dating him, he even told you himself, didn’t he?” 

“But sometimes counselors lie,” the girl insisted.

YN pulled on a sweatshirt and grabbed her phone and walkie to put into her pockets. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve never told a lie in my life!” 

She headed towards the door, but the campers were still eagerly chatting away about the situation. YN was grateful that it wasn’t her night to stay on bed watch, and Sarah would have to calm the kids back down now. After three nights in a row, she deserved the night off. 

The staff parking lot was at the very bottom of the hill, meaning YN found herself walking through the entire camp. After all these years, she still found awe in the way camp looked at night after everyone had gone to bed. It was quiet in a different way than she was used to. And although she had every other night off from bed watch with the freedom to spend time by herself, she still found beauty in the eerie stillness of a place that was usually bustling with energy. 

When she finally reached the lot, which was really more like an extra-wide dirt road with some dusty vehicles parked along the edge, she spotted Harry sitting on the trunk of his car, distracted by the phone in his hand. As she walked along the road, she laughed at the jokes and names and shapes that campers and staff alike had drawn into the dust-covered surfaces of the cars. 

She watched as Harry finally looked up from his phone and spotted her walking towards him from about fifteen feet away. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she could’ve sworn she saw his face light up at the realization.

“Well hello darling,” he greeted her softly. 

YN took the last few steps towards him before hoisting herself up onto the trunk next to him. 

“Hey H. Hope you haven’t been waiting too long. I know I sent the signal a while ago but then one of the girls asked where I was going tonight and when they found out I would be with you, all hell broke loose,” she giggled.

He looked back at her with a soft gaze, shaking his head. 

“No such thing. Would wait hours for you, you know that.” 

It was quiet for a moment before Harry coughed, bringing her attention back to him.

“So um, I’ve actually got a little something planned for tonight, if you’re alright with it. Still gonna stargaze! Just thought... y’know... maybe we could have a little fun along the way.” 

She looked back at him quizzically. 

“Uh right so, actually the surprise is in the car so...” 

Harry jumped off of his perch before lending a hand to YN and helping her down as well. She watched him fish his keys out of his pocket and start opening the back end of the car. 

“Hey, s’a surprise,” he insisted, urging her to giggle and turn away from him. 

With her eyes closed, she could hear him opening the trunk, throwing a few things around, and closing it again. A few options of what it could be ran through her mind - some good food he’d smuggled in from his last day off, an extra one of his perfect-smelling sweatshirts, some candy he had confiscated from a camper. 

“Are y’eyes closed?” 

“Yes, Harry! Tell me what it is already!” 

First, she heard him - his footsteps on the imperfect dirt road. Then she felt him - his breath on the back of her neck and his left hand resting on her waist. She held her breath.

“Alrigh’,” he whispered directly into her ear. “Open up.”

It took a few blinks for her eyes to readjust to the limited lighting they were under, but when she could get a clear picture again she couldn't help but smile wide. She turned around in his arms, laughing as she went.

“Harry! You snuck in alcohol?!” She gave him a little shove to his chest to punctuate her accusation.

Harry shrugged. “Yeah, brought it at the beginning of the summer but wanted to save it for something special. But any occasion with my girl is a special occasion. And I know for a fact that you haven’t had anything to drink yet this summer, even on your days off. You deserve to have some fun, so I’m not taking no for an answer.”

YN sighed, feigning discontent. 

Harry just raised his brow, challenging her.

Ever the rule follower, the truth was she did feel guilty drinking during the summer even on days off. But Harry was right, it had been weeks. And if she was ever going to break a rule with someone it was going to be Harry. He always made those moments worth it. 

“Fine, just this once though, ok?” 

A giant smile spread across his face then as he knew he had won her over. 

“You say that now, but I bet y’would drink again if it came with the bonus of spending time with me.” 

“Bonus? Hanging out with you is like a chore at best,” she teased. “Now open that thing before I change my mind.” 

Harry shook his head as he turned his attention to the bottle of cheap vodka in his hands. She would tease him for buying the off-brand as well, except that she knew what his salary was, because it was the same as hers, and it wasn’t nearly enough to validate buying the good stuff like she knew he preferred. 

Once the lid was twisted off, he handed the bottle to her. 

“Do the honors?” 

“Wait, you don’t have any chaser, do you? Harry!” 

He laughed again. “You get what you pay for, love. Now take a drink before I change my mind about sharing with yeh.” 

She rolled her eyes before bringing the bottle up to her mouth. YN took a small sip before opening her mouth wide, sticking her tongue out, and making a disgusting noise that she would only ever allow Harry to hear.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it!” he insisted.

“Harry, I swear to god, if you ever make me drink straight vodka like that again-”

“Relax, babe,” he cut her off with a giggle. He turned back around and opened the trunk again, pulling out a bottle of juice and holding it up. 

“Harry!” 

“What! I just wanted to see if you would do it s’all.” 

He grabbed a couple of plastic cups as well before closing the trunk and using it as a table. YN hopped back up to sit on it, swinging her legs back and forth against the back of the car as he mixed their drinks. They stayed there for a while, drinking together and chatting. It hadn’t been long since they had last talked, a few hours at most, but over their entire friendship, they had never once managed to run out of things to talk about. They traded stories of their nights out during the year away from each other. Most of YN’s involved her friends doing stupid things and her having to clean up the mess, and most of Harry’s had to do with his ex. 

Harry was in the middle of telling a story about the time that he and his ex went to a bar, she lost exactly one shoe, and he spent twenty minutes crawling around on his hands and knees in the sticky bar looking for it only for her to remember she left it at their table.

“Hey, stop that,” YN interrupted.

“What? “ Harry raised his brow and took another sip of his drink. 

“Stop talking about her. I don’t want to hear about her and I know you don’t want to talk about her.” She paused for a moment, pursing her lips and looking down at her feet before looking back up at him. “Alright, here’s the deal. No more mentions of her tonight, tonight is a fun night. And then we can pick a different time to sit around and be sad about her, alright?”

Harry seemed to think over the proposition for a moment before nodding his head. “I’ll do my best. ‘S hard though... spent nearly every day with her for six months.”

“You also spent time working and studying and doing things with friends, right?” 

Again, he nodded.

“Great, tell me those things.”

“Fine, but not here.” He hopped off the car, grabbed his mixed drink in one hand and the half-empty bottle in the other, and started walking further down the dirt road away from the cabins and fields and program spaces and towards the hiking trails. 

“You coming?” he called back over his shoulder.

YN followed his lead, hopping off the back of the car and jogging to catch up with him as they walked deeper into the forest. When they reached the first fork in the road, YN started naturally going right, but Harry stopped her. 

“C’mon, let’s go this way,” he nodded to the left with his head.

“Towards the lake?” 

“Yeah, why not?” 

YN was a little confused at first. “Lake” was a strong word for the collection of smelly water hidden at the end of that trail. For years camp tried to clean it out and make it swimmable, or boatable, or even just not smell so bad. But every year they came back for the summer and it was exactly as disgusting as ever. Generations of campers and staff continued the legend that if you touched the water you would get a special rash that no one in the infirmary could heal. And when YN was a young camper, she swore she saw a dead fish floating around in it, but no one ever believed her.

But Harry looked determined, and YN trusted him, so she followed him anyway. 

“Fine, but give me a refill,” she insisted, holding her cup out in front of him. 

He gladly filled her cup and continued to lead her down the path. About five minutes in, YN realized how long it had been since she had gone this route. They no longer took campers to this spot anymore, not on purpose anyway. Which meant the last time she had been there must’ve been when she snuck out of her cabin as a teen. And that had to mean...

“Harry, are you taking me to our spot?” she asked softly. 

He kept his focus straight ahead as he nodded.

“Yeah, thought it would be nice. S’alright, right?” 

“Mhmm.”

There was an easy pause before Harry started up again telling a story of the time his friend accidentally picked up a stranger’s phone at a bar and got halfway home before realizing it. YN laughed along as they walked.

Truthfully, YN could listen to Harry talk for hours and never get bored. It didn’t even matter what he was saying. The sound of his voice was familiar and soothing, and the way he spoke sounded like a gentle melody from the birds or the waves crashing in the ocean. She had been known to completely zone out while he was talking, listening to the rhythm of his voice and entirely forgetting what the words coming out of his mouth actually meant. 

Harry finished the story as they reached their destination, but YN almost didn’t even notice. She was so much more wrapped up in his presence next to her than what he was saying.  

YN shivered as a cold wind blew through them. 

“YN,” Harry said a bit sternly, “Did you forget to grab a jacket again?”

She shrugged.

“Here, take mine.” He placed his cup and the bottle on the ground carefully before taking his jacket off and draping it over YN’s shoulders. YN would never say no to getting to be wrapped up in Harry, even his clothes were close enough to the real thing. 

The trail eventually opened up to a clearing overlooking the lake. Structures that had been built there in the past were worn down and weeds were growing in the center of an old fire pit. But off to the side still sat the small platform that YN remembered. Apparently at one point in time, it was used as a stage for campers to do talent shows, long before anyone had come up with naming them TUTS. But its only real use in YN’s memory was for lying on her back next to Harry and staring at the stars above. 

They sat in the center of the platform together, cross-legged as Harry placed the bottle of vodka in between them. 

“Alright,” he started with a sigh, hands landing on his knees. “We’re out of earshot of children for the first time in weeks, tell me what’s really on your mind.”

YN smiled but just shrugged. “What, like sex, drugs, and rock and roll?” she teased.

That had Harry giggling, which told YN he was definitely at least as tipsy as she was by that point. 

“Ok, well the first one is sex, you go first.” she declared. 

“I go? What do you mean I go? Like what do you want me to say?”

“Like, I don’t know. Tell me something I don’t already know. Like..” she stared out at the lake for a minute. “Ok, I’ve got one. Tell me a kink you have!” 

“What?!” Harry said. “I’m not doing that, YN ask something else.”

But she crossed her arms and held firm, a pout on her face. “Nope, you have to answer, that’s the game.” 

“What game?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Just answer the question ok? You get to ask me one next.”

“Alright fine,” he eventually relented. He turned his body away from her to look straight ahead at the overgrown firepit and took another sip of his drink.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t want to look you in the eye while I say it out loud.”

“Harry! That’s not fair! You totally have to look at me.”

“Fine,” he groaned, twisting around. “Just one, right?”

“You have more than one?” she raised her brows high. 

He had a small smirk on his face as he darted his eyes, looking around everywhere except at her but not answering the question. “I really like... uh...”

“Out with it!”

“I really like being told I’m doing a good job, ok? I like... lots of compliments and nice words and honestly, the moaning counts too, because that means I’m doing, like, an extra good job.”

“So, a praise kink?” she clarified.

YN could see the blood rushing up to his cheeks even more than it already had, and it wasn’t because of the alcohol.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.” 

His fingers toyed with his lower lip, a nervous tick that YN was well acquainted with. She couldn’t believe he would even consider the idea that she might make fun of him for that.

“A praise kink is like, totally super normal. Tons of people like that shit,” she reasoned. “It’s kinda cute, actually.” 

The words slipped out of her mouth before she could realize what she was saying. By the time it hit her that she had sort of called him cute, it was too late. But he was smiling back at her. 

“Yeah? Y’think so?”

“Mhmm.” YN didn’t know what to say, looking down at her fingers in her lap and picking at her cuticles to distract herself. After the campers badgered him the night before she had meant to be extra careful with using those kinds of words around him unless she wanted to completely embarrass herself. But the alcohol made her loose-lipped and she couldn’t really help it. 

He sat there in silence for a moment before finishing up the second half of his current drink.

“Wonder if you’d say the same thing when I get all possessive over you,” he said under his breath with a chuckle, refilling his cup. 

YN’s eyes went wide for a moment. 

“Alright, your turn,” he told her with renewed vigor, not giving her a chance to ask about what he had just blurted out. “Tell me something... oh, ok, I’ve got it. Tell me about the best fuck you ever had?”

“Ever?”

“Yeah. Who was it, what made it so good, spill.” 

YN let out a breath. That was actually a pretty difficult question, considering her relative lack of experience. Harry talked like everyone had a sex life as extensive as his. She knew for a fact that he started having sex years before she did, and had heard plenty of stories from the other girls at camp about the experiences. 

“What’s taking y’so long?” he whined.

She shrugged. “Dunno. Haven’t really had... I mean some times were better than others, yeah? But none really... stuck out as all that special, y’know?” 

YN watched as Harry tipped his head to the side, curiously. “No, I have no idea. I remember all the special -” but he cut himself off mid-sentence. “Oh my god,” he gasped.

Now she was confused. “What?”

Harry just took another sip of his drink, chuckling as he swallowed. She hated when he did this, goading her on, teasing her with information. In the back of her head, YN knew he only did it because he liked to get her riled up. And as much as she didn’t want to let him win in his endeavor, she really had no choice in this situation. At least not with her lowered inhibitions and the feeling in her lower stomach that she was desperately trying to ignore.

“Harry!” 

“No, I’m gonna make you say it.”

“Well, how can I say it if I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Ok fine,” he relented. “I wanted you to admit that Liam was small. Probably didn’t even make you cum!” he teased. 

“Yeah, well... he wasn’t the only one,” she grumbled, taking another sip out of her cup. 

“You’ve been with other really small guys?”

“No, I mean...” she didn’t want to admit it, not to Harry of all people. But she supposed she made up the rules of the game and now she had to stick to them and actually answer everything. “I mean... no guy has ever made me... y’know... finish. I mean there was this one time where I thought maybe it happened but like, I know what it feels like and I just really liked the guy and was trying to convince myself he was making it happen.”

“Wait, really? Never?” 

“Never by a guy... no,” she admitted. 

She felt small under his gaze, but not because of what he was saying or doing. Just the knowledge that he had so many partner-induced orgasms that he had to specify a favorite. And on top of that, he knew for a fact that he was at least good at fingering girls because he had fingered Rachel L down by the gazebo three summers ago and everyone found out. All of that combined and YN felt like she could never compare, not to Harry, not to his ex, not to anyone. She was better off staying alone, like she always had been, like she probably always would be. 

“Hey, hey, don’t be sad. We’ll make sure it happens for you,” he assured her, placing a comforting hand on her thigh.

“We?” She looked from his hand to his eyes.

Harry paused for a few seconds, then nodded. “Yeah, of course ‘we’, who do you think I am? Dream Team, remember? Gonna make sure your dream comes TRUE this summer.” 

YN couldn’t keep from laughing at that. 

“Ok your turn,” she declared.

“Shoot.”

“How big is your dick?”

Harry scoffed. “Tell you for a fact that I’m bigger than Liam from last year, and the guy from high school.” 

“You’re just saying that!” 

“Fine, fine. You really wanna know that bad?”

She had always been a tiny bit curious, but now that he was playing his little game and trying to hold the information back, YN was literally going to explode if he didn’t tell her. 

“Well now I do, yeah.”

“Alright, it’s... well it’s about this thick around and this long...when I’m hard... on a good day.” 

He showed her the measurements with his hands, and her drunken mind was in awe. There was no doubt in her swirling mind by then that he was anything like anyone she had ever been with. The idea of someone that big? He had to be bigger than any vibrator she currently owned (very well hidden away inside her suitcase under her bed and behind all her shoes so no one would find them). The image of him stretching her out as she had always hoped to experience one day was painted on the inside of her eyelids. It would probably hurt a little at first, and he would groan as she shifted her body to adjust to him. He would tell her how tight she was in between thrusts and she would feel so full - maybe even feel him all the way in her tummy when he came inside of her. 

Harry laughed. 

Her eyes went wide as she realized she had actually sat there and asked Harry about his dick then closed her eyes and imagined it right in front of him. The alcohol was clearly starting to get to her. He started pouring himself a refill, not giving YN time to fully recuperate after learning this new information. 

“Ok, your turn. When was the last time you had a real orgasm and who were you with? Or I guess... what were you thinking about?”

He asked it so casually. And on the one hand, of course he did, that’s the game they were playing. But on the other hand, YN could feel the butterflies flying around her tummy because she knew what the answer was going to have to be.

“I... I mean I do it a few times a week, the last time was yesterday.” 

She stopped short, but his gaze never left her.

“And you were thinking about...?”

She sighed. YN really didn’t want to have to come out and say it. Harry was her best friend and she didn’t want to make it weird. If he got all weird and looked at her differently after she told him, well she didn’t think she could survive the rest of the summer like that. It would be such a stupid reason to have to break up the dream team anyway. Even if he didn’t make it weird, she probably would. YN was already embarrassed by the way her campers talked about her and Harry, she didn’t need to add any fuel to the fire.

But, she was exactly intoxicated enough to not be able to think of a reasonable lie and the liquid courage took over instead.

“I was thinking about...Uh... well... you,” she finally admitted. 

Harry put the alcohol down on the platform quickly before looking over to YN. She couldn’t read his face. He didn’t say anything, not right away at least, and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks as she did her best to look away from him rather than melt under his gaze. She had ruined it, hadn’t she? All these years of friendship and she messed it all up with one drunken admission and now she was going to be miserable. He knew something he was never, ever supposed to know. 

“Hey,” he started, letting his hand rest on her thigh to get her attention. “S’not weird.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, ‘s like... s’a compliment, right? We’ve all thought about people while doing that. And at least it was someone I approve of.” He paused for a moment, appearing to be deep in thought before cracking a smile again. “I want to know how you had time at camp!” 

She giggled at that. It was clear to her that Harry was trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible, which only fed into the mushy melting feeling she had inside of her chest while looking at him. 

“During my hour off, Styles. Geez, you’re an amateur.” She finished up her drink as an emphasis to her point, Harry chuckling beside her. 

YN reached out for the nearly empty bottle of vodka, only for Harry to swipe it out of her grasp. 

“Harry!” 

“Come on, love. I think you’ve had enough.

She let out a little ‘hmph’, sparking a little laugh from Harry as he set the bottle on the other side of the platform.

“You’re just doing that because you don’t want me to see you get any harder,” she insisted.

Harry coughed, clearly taken back by her comment. “You... I... what?”

“Well you’re really bad at hiding how turned on you are,” she said with a shrug, pointing towards the obvious bulge in the front of his sweatpants. Of course, she had been trying to ignore it, but with his size, how could she? In her slightly drunken state, she tried her best not to think of what specifically had turned him on to that point. She tried to remember that there was no way he could be attracted to her or something she said. So, therefore, it must be an alcohol thing, right? 

Harry clearly didn’t want to address the situation at hand, so instead, he tried to change the subject. By this point, YN wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the late hour and lack of sleep that was making them delirious, but either way, she just couldn't stop laughing. And neither could he. Everything one of them said was the most hilarious thing in the world. 

“I saw a whale one time,” Harry told her, sitting up proud. 

“A whale! Oh my gosh, a whale! No one has ever, in the history of the entire world, seen a whale before!” she teased. 

He shoved her lightly by the shoulder before finally looking at his watch. 

“Oh shit, we better get back. Gotta get you to bed, don’t even wanna know what you’ll be like in the morning if I let you stay out any longer.” 

. . .

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks, Styles, just what every girl wants to hear. Such a way with words.” YN shoved him a bit as she came up next to him at the coffee station during breakfast. 

His face broke out in a smile, dimples and all, as he finished stirring his coffee. She rolled her eyes, reaching toward the stack of coffee cups. But he pushed her arm aside. 

“Here, I made this for you. Figured you’d need it after last night... plus I noticed there was only a drop of that non-dairy creamer you like left.” 

YN felt a soft smile break out across her face, and she recognized a look in Harry’s eyes that she had seen in the past but couldn’t quite decipher. 

“Thanks, H.” 

“Of course.” 

It was quiet between them for a moment, but not in an uncomfortable way. She just so genuinely appreciated him and the things he would do for her. The little things - like making her coffee exactly the way she liked it because he was worried the creamer would run out prior to her getting there. Or making sure she got to bed on time to get enough sleep. Checking in whenever he could tell she was feeling sad, or planning a fun day off for the two of them because he knew she needed it. One time in the winter he even ordered a delivery meal for her, from all the way across the ocean. He always took such good care of her. 

“Scuse me,” Niall pushed his way in between them, breaking YN out of her thoughts. 

Harry grabbed another cup to make his own coffee, which he took with no creamer and only one sugar. YN shifted her weight to one side as she watched him, realizing that if he didn't use a creamer, he had no reason to notice that it was almost empty. Maybe the bottle was in his way and we went to move it and that’s how he noticed? Or maybe whoever had made coffee right before told him it was running low?

They walked together to sit at the end of a table, their campers a good six feet away and too preoccupied with each other to notice or care what their counselors were doing. 

YN took a sip of her coffee, looking across the table at Harry again. She might look like a disaster after a bit of drinking the previous night, but he looked as perfect as ever. His hair looked fluffy and soft, curls in the front highlighted by the summer sun and reminiscent of cinnamon rolls. His eyes were bright, and focused, and didn’t have any bags. And his shirt displayed his broad shoulders and muscular yet comforting arms in precisely the perfect way. It wasn’t fair, really, that he could be up late drinking and still look like that in the morning. 

She knew she had been a little loose-lipped that night, and it’s not that she didn’t trust him. It’s just that... she never meant for him to know some of those things. He didn’t need to know that no guy had ever gotten her off, or that she thought of him while she touched herself sometimes. They were good friends, of course, but even still there were some things you always keep to yourself. 

“So about last night...” she started, softly so no one could overhear them. Harry raised his brows, urging her to continue. “That stuff we said...it stays between us, right?”

“‘Course,” Harry answered easily, taking another sip of his own coffee. “You can always trust me, you know that.” 

“I know it’s just...” she sighed, looking away from him for a moment. “I never really meant to tell you those things. I said it because I was... well... your surprise and all..” She didn’t want to say out loud that she was a bit drunk, just in case a camper or other staff could overhear her. It would be grounds for getting fired. 

“YN,” he started softly. “It’s ok. I won't tell anyone anything. Hey, look at me.” He tipped his head to the side, reaching his hand across the table to rest on hers in an attempt to draw her attention back to him. “I’m on your team, always.” 

She could feel herself blush at that, but she couldn’t make herself look away. His eyes were so clear and gentle, and she knew he meant every word he was saying. It wasn’t that she doubted he would keep her secrets, it was just that she needed reassurance that everything was going to be ok. That nothing had changed between them and he wouldn’t treat her any differently. That he valued her the same way he always had, and always would. His answer went further than that, though, telling her she could rely on him always. His words, the look in his eyes, the way he spoke to her outside her cabin a couple of nights ago, it’s like he was telepathically giving her a giant, warm, cozy hug. She desperately wanted one for real, but knew this wasn’t the time or place. 

Before their conversation could go any further, one of YN’s campers came up to her asking to be taken to the infirmary. 

“Duty calls.”

As they walked away, the camper whispered “are you dating him though? You can tell me, I’ll keep it a secret, I promise!”

. . .

“Nah, you’re way too good for Niall. Trust me, I saw him wear the same underwear two days in a row once,” Harry laughed. 

It was later in the morning, and both YN and Harry’s cabins were having their turn at the ropes course. On the short hike through the trees, the two of them walked side by side, chatting as always. He had asked her if she had her eye on anyone this summer - she didn’t really, but she started listing other counselors that she thought were cute enough. Apparently, she gave the wrong answer. 

“You asked who I thought was cute though - and he is. That doesn’t mean I’m like, in love with him or gonna make a move or anything.” 

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Want you to be happy. And he’d make you happy for a few minutes but not... not much longer.” 

“So you’re saying he can’t last?” 

“No! I’m saying - are you running out of breath?”

They were almost halfway there, and YN started getting tired and her breathing sped up. Harry noticed right away. 

“Drink some water, babe,” he told her. 

“Forgot my water bottle.” 

“Have some of mine.”

When they arrived at the ropes area, the boys and girls split off to do their activities separately. It started with team-building activities for the kids on the ground, getting them comfortable with some of the equipment and learning to work together. The boys were having trouble, arguing with each other so Harry, Niall, and Adam, the ropes staff, kept having to cut in and calm them down. But YN’s girls were in their own little world, working through the problems together and finishing some of them in record time. 

That’s how the girls ended up getting to climb the rock wall, climbing tower, and actual ropes course first. And everything was going well for a while - the climbing wall wasn’t very tall and there was a lower point on the tower that the kids could stop at if they were really afraid of heights. Plus they were secure in harnesses and connected to ropes managed by some pretty strong staff members. 

It was the on ropes course itself that there was some trouble. It hung up high in the trees, roughly 30 feet above where they were standing. The ropes were old, and from the distance, the kids thought they looked a bit worn down. Plus, the first section required partner work, and even with the team building and safety measures, most of the kids were pretty worried. YN reassured them over and over again that if they could do the earlier team-building activities together, then working with a partner to walk across the rope bridge should be a piece of cake! But it was to no avail. 

Then Adam had the amazing idea of putting YN in a harness and having her demonstrate to the campers how to do it. He had to stay on the ground as part of the safety rules, Sarah was on her hour off, and she couldn’t be partners with a camper, so that’s how she and Harry ended up perched on top of a poll, 30 feet or so off the ground, attached with carabiners and ropes. 

YN held onto the pole so tightly, her knuckles were turning white. She kept looking down, even though she knew not to. And Harry could see the way she was nervously shaking her leg. 

“You’re not actually afraid of doing this, are you?” he asked her softly, so no one on the ground could hear. 

YN shrugged. It wasn’t that she was afraid of heights, per se, and she knew if she fell the harness and ropes system would catch her. But the ropes course hadn’t existed when she was a camper and she had never actually tried it. They had the chance during staff training week before the campers arrived, but she and Harry opted to test out some of the new guitars instead. She had no real reason to be afraid, but the concept of a ropes course, in general, is quite daunting. 

Harry’s face dropped when he realized that she was, in fact, a bit scared. He reached out, touching her arm lightly to get her attention. 

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m right here. I’ll never let anything happen to you, ok?” 

His voice was soft but strong, and YN found herself holding her breath for a moment before finally releasing it and nodding her head. Harry would be right there. He would be holding her and guiding her across the bridge, and everything would be ok. 

“Dream Team, right? We can do anything. We can do this,” he assured her again. 

“Ok...yeah...ok.” She didn’t sound very convincing, not even to herself. And she could tell from the look on Harry’s face that he wasn’t convinced either. But Adam called out from down below and started giving Harry directions on how to get to the platform in the middle of the bridge. 

He looked at her one last time, taking a deep breath and following the instructions. She didn’t want to look down, so instead she focused on his arms, muscles working hard as he lifted himself further up the pole, across a hanging log, and back down to the platform. 

“Now there’s nowhere for her to put her hands for balance,” Adam explained from the ground. “So Harry is going to have to do that for her. Harry!” he called out. “Put out your hands so she can reach for them, and YN go ahead and step onto the first rope on the bridge.”

Looking down at her feet, YN could feel herself becoming nauseous. It was a long way down, and even if the ropes caught her the harness was really uncomfortable, and it would be so embarrassing in front of the kids. She silently wished she hadn’t agreed to this, not realizing how intimidating it would be until she was already at the top of the pole and it was too late. 

“YN,” Harry whispered, arms stretched out in front of him. “I’ve got you.” 

She took a deep breath and used one leg to test the first rope of the bridge. There was some slack, and she would definitely be needing Harry’s help. That was the point of the activity, after all. Placing each of her hands in his, she looked back up at him.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” she asked

“Always.” 

Nodding her head, she took the first step. YN wobbled quite a bit, but Harry’s strong arms stayed constant to support her. His hands were warm and solid, comforting and secure. With her feet spread wide, she was able to find her balance and control her breathing. He squeezed her hands, causing her to look up so he could smile at her. 

“See how she’s distributing her weight across the rope and not in one spot?” Adam pointed out the campers, who all nodded. “And he’s got his knees bent for a stronger stance so he can give her extra support. Alright, YN, whenever you’re ready you can take the next two steps and get to the center platform.”

Lost in a trance, YN was staring at the ropes in front of her, part of her brain trying to figure out how to approach the next challenge and part of it was trying to convince herself that she was going to be ok.

“The first one’s always the hardest,” Harry insisted, drawing her attention back to him. “Everything from here is easy.” 

They worked together, her relying heavily on his strong, sturdy arms to make her way across. With each step, she got closer to him. Her hands moved from his hands to his forearms. She could feel how tense his arms were, but his face looked so relaxed. His soft, warm skin supported her as she moved to the third rope, hands now moving to his biceps. And she knew he was strong, she knew he had muscles, but she had never taken the time to really appreciate them and feel them in this way. His upper arms were dense and sturdy, and her grasp didn’t fit as far around them as she expected. Finally, she reached for his shoulders and made it to the center platform, letting out a sigh of relief.

That was, until she realized exactly how small that platform was, clearly built for children and not for two grown adults. 

“Here lemme just...” 

Harry placed his hands on her waist, pulling her close to him and then rotating them both to get her across to the other side of the small platform. He was focused, looking down at their feet as she trusted him to maneuver their bodies. 

Down below, YN could barely make out Adam explaining something to kids. She took a moment and looked into Harry’s eyes. When he finished rotating them, he looked up at her and smiled.

“See, Dream Team.” 

“Yeah,” she let out a huff. “Something like that.” 

Her hands rested softly on his shoulders still, his securely on her waist. The entire fronts of their bodies were touching from their chests all the way down to their toes. He held her close to him, and she wasn’t entirely sure if they needed to be as close as they were. But she didn’t mind, and judging by his soft smile, neither did he. 

“I’ve got you, YN. You know that, right? I’ve always got you.” 

She nodded her head, taking another breath and looking behind her at the other half of the bridge. If she did the first half she could surely do the second. It would just be a bit more difficult with Harry behind her rather than in front of her.

“Alright guys!” Adam shouted up at them. “Good job switching positions but now YN needs to turn around so she’s facing the second side of the bridge!”

YN felt Harry’s hands, still on her waist, as he turned her around. Their bodies still touched as they were confined to the small space, and she could swear she could feel his breathing on the back of her neck. He squeezed her lightly.

“Call me selfish,” he started, just loud enough for her to hear but not loud enough for anyone on the ground, “But I’m so glad I was here to be your partner. Wouldn’t want anyone else holding you close like this.” 

She swallowed hard. What was that supposed to mean? Did he really enjoy holding her close? Did she like the way it felt to be close to him? Blood rushed up to her cheeks and she was grateful that she was already facing away from him so he wouldn’t be able to see.

Before she could respond, Adam called up to them, instructing how to take the next step off the platform. 

She didn’t really pay much attention to anything that happened after that, risking her own safety to flip his words over and over in her head. Hours later and she still couldn’t get the comment out of her mind. Wouldn’t want anyone else holding you close like this. Why would he say that? Would someone else holding her close mean that Harry would get jealous? Wouldn’t want anyone else holding you close like this. Did she like being close to him like that? Did he like it just as much? Wouldn’t want anyone else holding you close like this. After all those years as friends, as pretty much the only girl he never tried to get with, did something change? 

She thought about it when he cheered for her after she made it to the end of the ropes course, a task she couldn’t have completed without him, literally. And she thought about it when he sat at the top of the waterslide during pool time, counting 15 seconds in between each kid to keep them safe and listening as they called silly things out to hear the echo. She thought about it again when she convinced her most stubborn camper to take a shower because honestly, people were starting to notice. Then she thought about it when supervising field time and watching Harry teach some of the boys how to properly throw a frisbee. She even thought about it when the kids were at their elective time and the counselors were in their daily team staff meeting with Mitch going over the schedule for the next day.

And it was still on her mind when the meeting ended and their daily hour off started. She walked up to Harry out of instinct, but soon realized she didn’t quite know what to say. Which was quite out of character for her, since she and Harry had pretty much never run out of things to talk about. They had talked earlier about sneaking into the kitchen and stealing some of the good snacks ahead of distrubution, but she had other more urgent things on her mind. Biting her lip, she looked up at him. But before she could get anything out, he stopped her.

“I’m just gonna take some time to myself in the cabin today if you don’t mind postponing our snack burglary,” he teased. 

“Oh, yeah,” she said softly. “Enjoy yourself.” 

This of course left YN with an entire hour to herself, which normally was something she relished, but on this day she so desperately wanted to be distracted and stop thinking of what he had told her. Harry was her best friend, and she shouldn’t be spiraling over something as simple as this. A few words shouldn’t be affecting her this much. 

They hadn’t always been this close, though. Both started going to camp when they were pretty young, at an age where the girls and the boys didn’t really mingle all that much. She knows for a fact that they were in the same age group for several summers, but she had absolutely no memory of him ever existing. 

Then they got a bit older, and middle school came around. YN does have memories of Harry during this time, but they were mostly from a distance. He was always so cool and exciting and popular, and she was just kind of there. He was foreign and had an accent and fluffy hair and sparkly eyes, and she just kind of existed. Harry was always kind to her, but not in a way that was any different from how he treated everybody. He was always helping people when they fell down or thanking the lunch ladies even if they made burnt grilled cheese for the third time in a row. 

It was in high school when things started to change. Harry went from being only that sweet, cute, British boy over there to being the one all the girls - and some of the boys - were fawning over. YN knows for a fact that he was at least three different girls’ first kiss in one summer, because she was actually present when all three happened (truth or dare, at a campfire, and behind a tree while they were supposed to be playing capture the flag). And if she remembered correctly, Harry soaked it all up. He didn’t brag, the other boys did enough of that for him. But he preened in the attention and accepted his role.

It was after YN had resigned to ignore her quiet little crush and make friends with Harry that they got so close. And eventually, they were practically inseperable. Harry even helped YN decide on a college, and then classes, and then a major. He never told her what to do but he was a great listener and always asked the right kinds of questions to get her thinking until she could come up with an answer she was confident in. He reminded her that school and work would never be her entire life, but they would be the way that she spends a lot of her time. And no one should spend that amount of their time miserable. And that was really the theme - he just wanted to make her happier. He pushed her to go out with friends more often and go on spontaneous adventures and learn about things she was actually passionate about - all from thousands of miles away. 

In the past two years, they had spoken nearly every day - either over the phone or by texting, though Harry always preferred to actually hear her voice. They would stay on the phone until late at night talking about whatever was on their minds and on more than one occasion YN had a roommate bang on the wall to get her to quiet down. Sometimes she even got to fall asleep to the sound of his voice. They talked about their days, or their jobs, or their families. They talked about the universe like they used to do under the stars at camp. They talked about relationships and what they wanted in a partner. She knew all about his girlfriend, who he was really smitten with for a long time. They had no real secrets between them, none that she knew of anyway. Besides, she had kind of spilled the beans in the only category she was really keeping to herself the other night after drinking. 

And if they didn’t have any secrets, then it should be easy to have a conversation with him about what he said up on the ropes course, right? She should be able to walk right into his cabin and say “Hi Harry, What did you mean when you said you wouldn’t want anyone else holding me close? Has something changed between us?” 

So without thinking over it any harder, she marched right down to his cabin with the intention to do just that. Walked down to the boys’ village where she wasn’t technically supposed to be (but there were no campers around so it was fine) and threw open the door without knocking. No secrets. 

Except, maybe they should have some secrets. Like it probably could have stayed a secret that Harry had his cock in his hand, his computer beside him playing a video, and soft moans coming out of his mouth. YN probably didn’t need to know that he was turned on by watching a video of shower sex. Or that he liked to alternate between fast and slow strokes. Or that he spit directly on his dick for lubrication. 

YN probably could have gone her whole life without knowing those things. 

But it was too late. By the time she yelled “Oh my god!” and turned around with her eyes closed, she already knew too much. 

Harry slammed his computer shut and yelled out several expletives. She could hear him moving around on his bed searching for his shorts and pulling them on. And then she could hear silence. 

A silence that had never really existed between them before. And it lasted for what seemed like an eternity. 

Eventually, Harry coughed. “You uh... you can turn around, if you’d like.” 

He sounded scared. 

YN took a deep breath before turning around, waiting another couple of seconds, and finally opening her eyes. The view in front of her this time was much more than what she was used to - Harry, sitting on his bed, fully clothed, fluffing his pillow to give himself something to do. It still wasn’t completely normal, as she couldn’t help but notice he was still completely hard beneath the loose-fitting shorts, which were doing nothing to try to hide that fact anyway. 

At first, she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing really came out. She wanted to say she was sorry. She wanted to pretend none of this ever happened. She wanted to make a bad joke that would distract them from the issue at hand and allow them to move on without discussing it further. But that’s not what she said. 

When she finally spoke, she only mustered up, “Were you just touching yourself?” 

“No,” Harry deadpanned. 

Which, like, was obviously a joke but considering the situation YN was too afraid to say anything. 

“YN you literally told me last night that this is the time in the day where you do this. I told you I wanted to spend some time alone and you didn’t put that together?” 

“Well, I... I was thinking about other things,” she admitted with a shrug. 

She looked up at Harry, desperately trying not to look at his lower half but it was a pretty tall order. He raised a brow, asking her to continue. 

“I was thinking about you...” she started. And she was going to say she was thinking about what he said earlier in the day, she really was. But he jumped in first. 

“So was I... about you! I mean. Not myself. That would be... I have an ego but it’s not that bad.” 

And that... was definitely not what YN was expecting to hear. 

“Really? Me? While you were...?” she asked softly, feeling somehow afraid of the answer. Because if he really was thinking about her, that meant even more than his little remark on the rope bridge. It would mean that they had both thought of each other in that moment. It could mean... a lot. 

Harry shrugged, “yeah.” And it wasn’t fair, really, that he was able to brush this off like no big deal and she was still standing there feeling like there was a spotlight pointed directly at her with a ticking time bomb getting ready to go off somewhere in the background. 

“Oh,” was all she managed to get out. 

“It doesn’t have to be weird... you told me yesterday you thought about me so I figured...” 

“No, yeah, I mean. Not weird at all,” she lied. 

“Ok, good.” Harry let out a big sigh, looking down at himself. “I uh... I’m kinda...” 

“Oh, right, yeah. I’ll um... I’ll let you take care of that. I’ll see you... later?” 

She started to leave, but not without hearing Harry under his breath say “Maybe you’ll help me out next time.” 

. . .

That night for cabin time, YN and Sarah tried to wear out the campers by having a glow stick dance party. Unfortunately, all it seemed to do was rile them up further. The amount of energy stored inside 11 and 12-year-olds' bodies seemed limitless. And the little one broke a glow stick and got it all over her fingers, which meant she got it all over her bed, which meant YN had to spend 20 minutes helping her clean it before turning out the lights. 

It felt like it took ages for them to actually quiet down and start to go to sleep. She had to resort to playing an old meditation story so they would at least stay quiet enough to hear and hopefully, maybe, eventually drift off. While the story was playing Sarah left for her night off and YN stayed behind on bedwatch. She heard the walkie click three times - her code with Harry that it was time to chat - but the girls were definitely still awake so she had to wait. To kill the time, she cleaned up the floor, refolded her clothes, and pushed her suitcase further under her bed. Anything to give her something to do so her mind wouldn’t wander too far. 

This day had been... a lot. Just in 24 hours, YN felt as if everything had changed between her and Harry, and she was terrified of it. A new door had opened in their relationship and she still didn’t know what any of it meant. 

The meditation story eventually ended, and YN let out a breath of relief when she could hear the sounds of steady breathing. To be safe, she turned on another story as she grabbed her walkie and carefully slipping out the door. 

She took her seat just outside the cabin, checking to make sure no one was within earshot, and clicked the walkie three times, biting her lip as she waited for a response. YN had never been this nervous to talk to Harry. Everything was always so easy with him. Conversation came naturally and she trusted him so deeply. But now, everything was confusing. 

It wasn’t long until Harry’s soft, calming voice came across the radio. 

“Hey darlin’,” he whispered, likely sitting directly outside his own cabin. “Was afraid you weren’t gonna wanna talk to me tonight.”

YN furrowed her brows. “That’s crazy, H. Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you? Things get so boring here.”

“Oh so I’m only good for my entertainment value?”

“Obviously.”

She smiled softly. 

There were so many things YN wanted to say to him at that moment, but none of them seemed quite right. She was scared of what he might say, what might change, what all of it could mean. She was scared that he would be scared and then she would be alone again. So instead she figured the safer conversation would be the one she owed him anyway, which would remind him of where they really stood. 

“Anyway, I know I cut you off from talking about... her... last night, and that wasn’t really fair. So if you want to think out loud, or vent, or whatever, I’m here for you to do that tonight.” 

Harry sighed through the speaker. 

“Yeah I... I guess I probably should talk about her some, to get it out, right?” 

It was hard for YN to listen to Harry talk about his ex, but as his friend, she knew it was the right thing to do for both of them (because also maybe it would remind her not to get her hopes up too high about him). He had been carrying some of this around for so long, and she could see the look in his eyes when the campers asked him if he had a girlfriend and knew that he was still feeling some sort of pain. It had been over a month now since they broke up, but he had been sharing his concerns about her with YN for much longer. 

When they first got together, Harry seemed so genuinely happy. He was always telling stories of his time with her - going on adventures, seeing new places, meeting new people. She brought out something special in him that no one he had previously been with seemed able to do. He seemed relaxed around her and YN could hear his smile through the phone while he talked about her. He was happy, and so YN was happy for him. 

Harry would acknowledge that something changed around the time Camille’s lease was up and she started suggesting either moving in together or moving out of town. But he didn’t know that making that decision was just the start of it. He didn’t know that Camille had called YN up one day (Harry had given them each other’s numbers and they texted occasionally, but only in reference to him) and practically threatened her to stay away from Harry. She claimed YN was taking up too much of Harry’s time and it wasn’t normal for someone in a relationship to be that close and talk that often with another girl. She was convinced he was “emotionally cheating” on her with YN. 

And to be honest, YN was a bit intimidated by Camille at first. She had a strong presence, a loud voice, and sounded serious on the phone. But when Harry called her the next day, she realized how ridiculous that was. Anyone who supports Harry should support all of him, including his other friendships and relationships. Hell, YN was supporting his relationship with Camille because it made him happy. So she wasn’t surprised that shortly after that conversation, Harry started mentioning things getting weird between the two of them. 

When he flat out rejected the idea of moving in together (“six months is a long time but it’s also not that long. Not long enough to make entire life decisions based on”) Camille was furious. She still tried to convince him to move out of town with her, and he did seriously consider it for a while. He felt pretty selfish when he decided to stay, but YN would remind him that if he was making a decision based on what he thought would make him happiest, then he had no reason to feel anything but confident in his choice. 

Apparently, that wasn’t enough for Camille to end things with him, but she definitely held onto the anger. They stopped going on dates, stopped seeing friends together, and their conversations ran stale. Harry complained to YN that she had turned into a fuck buddy, the exact habit he was trying to escape. She would come over, eat dinner, watch an episode of tv, fuck, and then leave without so much as a cuddle. That was the hardest part for YN to hear about - their sex life. He never went into detail but even the fact that he acknowledged it existing was difficult to hear - partially because of her old crush and partially because of her own lack of sex life. 

“I’m so glad camp started when it did,” he admitted. “I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to leave her otherwise.” 

“Sure you would’ve,” YN insisted. “You always do what you know is right.” 

“Maybe...” he sounded pensive. “Sometimes I... sometimes I miss out on opportunities and regret it later.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like... well it’s not important. The point is she went from being my girlfriend to a fuck buddy and it sucked.” 

“Hey - at least she sucked in a good way, right?” YN teased. 

Harry groaned on the other end. 

“That was terrible.” 

“I know, but I’m absolutely not sorry at all.” 

“Ok but, the last thing I want to think about right now is doing that with... her. I’d much rather talk about you.” 

“What about me? We talked about my sexual shortcomings last night, there’s not much else you don’t already know.” 

“Just... tell me what’s on your mind? I’m done talking about her. She’s old news and honestly, I feel like a robot when I talk about her now. I miss having a person, but I don’t miss her. ‘Sides, you’re my person now.” 

He said it so easily, it wasn’t even fair. YN was grateful that he couldn’t see her and the way the blood rushed to her cheeks as he admitted that she was his person. The sentiment wasn’t anything new, but hearing him say it so bluntly like that... brought back her swirling thoughts from earlier in the day. 

“There’s a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” 

YN took a deep breath. They were beyond the point of no return, there was nothing she could say to him that would be any more embarrassing than anything that they had experienced in the last day. So she might as well be honest. 

“Been thinking a lot about you, H.”

“Oh. Like.. have you been...after you saw me were you....doing it and...”

“No!” she quickly cut him off, knowing what he was insinuating. “Not that I wouldn’t...or that I would? I just... ugh.” 

Harry chuckled through the walkie. “It’s alright YN, tell me what you were thinking then.” 

“Was thinking... well, earlier I was thinking about what you said this morning, on the ropes. That you wouldn’t want anyone else to hold me close. What.... what did you mean?” 

“I meant... I meant what I said. Had an excuse to hold you close, and if I saw anyone else doing that with you I would’ve... well... I don’t know, YN. I’m selfish, I get jealous, and you’re mine.” 

“I’m yours?” 

“Yeah, my person, my dream team, all that. Wanna just... just keep you all to myself sometimes, yeah?”

“Harry, we spend all day every day together.”

“I know. And I like that. I like... I like having you with me. You make me smile, and... you’re safe. And holding you close like that this morning... it was nice. Wanna do that more. But maybe on the ground and not 30 feet in the air with 20 little kids staring up at us,” he laughed at the end. 

YN let out a small laugh, but she was too deep in thought for it to sound genuine. 

“Does this mean... Harry, has something changed between us?” 

The silence while she waited for an answer seemed to last for an eternity. What had she done? Asking him so forward like that? But everything he was saying, it was so... sweet. And it made the butterflies in her tummy flutter bigger than they had in years. Her mind was swirling with possibilities, the good and the bad. 

He liked holding her close. Would he hold her close in bed, for a nice cuddle? Would he stroke his hands through her hair while they watched tv? Would he squeeze her too tight in his sleep, just by instinct, forcing her to wiggle away from him? What if her wiggling woke him up? Would he have a cute, sleepy, pouty face as he opened his eyes, grabbing his hands out to nothing until she relented and moved back into his grasp? Would he kiss her goodnight before tucking his head into her neck and letting out soft little snores? 

Or would he be completely appalled and offended that she had even asked the question? Maybe he would laugh and say something to remind her that he would never see her romantically. She could never be more than a friend to him, always having to push her little crush into the back of her mind so it wouldn’t bother anyone. Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? An embarrassing little childhood crush that had never quite faded away. He would connect the dots, after her admission last night, and the questions she asked him today, and he would no longer feel so safe and comfortable with her. He would put space between them like they were young again and she would lose her best friend. 

“Of course not, don’t be silly. I’ve always felt this way about you, YN, you should know that. Well, maybe not always but a really long time.” 

“Oh.” 

YN wasn’t quite sure what to make of that answer. He wasn’t exactly declaring his love for her, but he wasn’t pushing her away either. He was just... continuing on with what they already had. And that had to be good enough YN. 

She wanted to ask him what he meant about ‘feeling this way’. She wanted to ask what the future was going to look like. She wanted to ask if she was ever going to have a chance or if he would just be a soft, lovey-dovey best friend forever. 

But she didn’t ask. 

“Me too,” she responded softly instead of any of the questions running through her mind. 

“Good... I’m... I’m really lucky to have you in my life, YN.” 

In the short silence, she heard Niall’s voice distantly in the background from the radio.

“Ah, Niall’s back. Should probably head to bed anyway. See you in the morning.” 

“Yeah...see you.” 

YN went back into the cabin then, closing the door as softly as she could. But as soon as she did, one of the campers sat straight up. 

“YN!” she whisper-shouted.

“Shh... you’ll wake everyone up. What do you need?”

The camper rubbed her eyes before answering. “You were talking to Harry.” 

“Yes...” 

“I don’t know what he said, but I heard his voice. He has a nice voice...” 

“Yes, he does,” YN smiled. “But it’s late. Harry went to sleep and I’m going to now. You should be asleep too.”

“Ok,” she answered softly, lying back down on her bed. 

YN made her way to her bed, changed into her pajamas, and got under the covers. But she didn’t sleep. How could she, with Harry’s words running through her head? Instead, she spent the night tossing and turning, rolling around in her bed and desperately trying to shake her thoughts free. That night, she was up later than the time the campers wanted to pull an all-nighter.

. . .

Looking back, it would have been smart of YN to cut her conversation with Harry short, go to bed early, and get a good night’s sleep. She would have smiled while thinking back on a conversation about mundane nothingness, snuggled under her warm blanket that she brought from home, and drifted away into an easy dreamland for eight hours. Maybe she would have even dreamed something sweet about Harry, something mixed in with crazy dream logic like maybe he was holding her close and teaching her to fly off a cliff so they could escape the crazy ostriches chasing them through the forest. That would have been nice. 

But no, that’s not what YN did. She had a conversation that left her more confused than she started, and she hardly got any sleep. Rolling over every five minutes and never truly able to get comfortable, she struggled all night. Her body would not let her relax. Her feet kept tapping and her mind kept swirling and her leg was really itchy for some reason. 

All in all, she probably got four hours of good sleep that night. And normally, she would have been able to make do, maybe take a nap during her hour off, take it easy for the day. But that wasn’t possible as she was woken by excited screaming and pounding on the doors and windows. 

Somehow, YN had forgotten that it was Color Wars day. And when the realization hit her, it came with the extra weight of remembering that she was supposed to be a team captain. Blue Team - which it turned out was different from the team her campers would be on because they were assigned separately, which made the morning quite complicated. 

The kids were excited, jumping out of bed as they searched through their clothes for something red to wear to represent their team color. They were eagerly chatting and Sarah had to remind them to brush their teeth because they were just so excited. 

Meanwhile, YN rolled out of bed slowly, groaning as her aching body moved and her eyes adjusted to the light in the room. Why had she agreed to be a team captain? This day was practically a day off for most of the staff - not having to shepherd the kids from one place to another, most of the responsibility landing on the team captains and the teenagers. And then she remembered that Harry had talked her into it a few weeks ago. The original idea was to be team captains together, but then Mitch thought it would be funnier to make them compete, and now YN was going to spend her entire day opposing Harry instead of lounging around with him. 

It didn’t help her mood that the wake-up call of screaming teenagers came 30 minutes earlier than the usual alarm so that the teams could congregate prior to breakfast and start the day with energy. So with less sleep, more on her mind, and no real enthusiasm, YN trudged her way to the amphitheater where she made sure her campers were seated with their team and she took to the stage with the other captains. 

Harry was already there, all dressed in red complete with a red cowboy hat and sunglasses. YN smiled to herself, knowing the girls would love being on his team for the day. Next to him stood Niall, YN’s co-captain for Blue Team. Niall was always sweet, and always had so much energy, so he would be a great captain in that respect. But she knew that he would get lost up in the excitement of everything and YN would end up being the one to count the kids and make sure everything actually ran smoothly. 

Music was playing loudly in the background (too loudly for so early in the morning, if you asked YN, not that anyone did) and the kids were all dancing in their seats. When it was time for the team captains to introduce themselves, Harry of course went first. 

“I’m Harry and I’m your Red Team captain! And Red Team is going to win because we’re on fire!” The girls on the benches screamed after him, giggling to each other about how they would get to spend the whole entire day with him. He had way too much energy for someone who had the same conversation the night before as YN did. It wasn’t fair. 

“I’m YN and I’m the Blue Team captain! And Blue Team is going to win because we’re the coolest!” Niall came up after her and sprayed his entire water bottle on the Blue Team campers in the front row. 

At breakfast, YN made a beeline for the coffee station. She was going to need more than one cup if she was going to survive this day. The coffee machine was slow, so she stood there for a few minutes surveying the room, eventually making eye contact with Harry. He smiled wide and walked over to join her. 

“Y’alright?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her in a short hug. 

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“Y’look like sleeping is your next sport.”

“I’d lose at that too,” she told him with a sigh. “Couldn’t sleep last night. Gonna need extra coffee to get through this day.” 

“Really? The Color Wars energy doesn’t just... run through your veins and make you go crazy?” he teased. 

YN snorted. “Not exactly, Styles, no.” 

He dropped it, grabbing a cup to make his own coffee for the morning before changing the conversation. 

“Why couldn’t you sleep? We weren’t up all that late.” 

She shrugged. “Had a lot on my mind after...” She drifted off, not exactly sure how to finish her sentence. But he nodded anyway, understanding. 

“We gotta work on that - make sure you’re sleeping good at night. S’not healthy to not sleep... plus you get so cranky, pain in my ass.” 

YN playfully whacked him on his arm.

“I’m just being honest, looking out for ya,” he shrugged. 

They sat together for breakfast, ignoring the fact that the teams were supposed to be divided in the dining hall. But no one tried to separate them. They talked as they ate their rubbery pancakes, laughing over old memories and new camper stories. 

And then Harry stopped. He looked at her with his head cocked to the side and reached out to her face. With his fingertip, he brushed just under her eye.

YN held her breath. 

“Y’got an eyelash,” he said softly, sitting back down but holding the lash on his fingertip for her to see. “Make a wish.”

She closed her eyes, thinking for a moment and then blowing the lash away. When she opened them again, Harry was looking at her with a gentle smile. 

The moment was interrupted by Mitch handing them their schedules for the day. They were disappointed to realize the only hour in the day they would have together was capture the flag in the late afternoon - which they would also be required to participate in. That meant YN had to spend the whole day giving off fake energy for a day she didn’t really care about and Harry wouldn’t even be there to cheer her up or keep her going. It also meant more time for memories of the conversation last night to take hold in her mind and no way to clear anything up with him. 

She did her best to grit her teeth and make it through. To the best of her ability, she did what she could to ensure that none of the kids knew she was dreading every moment of this day. With a smile on her face at all times, she kept campers of all ages engaged and excited and pretended like someone was actually keeping score of who was winning all the sports and games. (Yes, games. There were complaints last year that sports-only was not inclusive enough so this year they included things like competitive Apples to Apples and water pitcher chugging contests.) 

And although YN didn’t exactly have a companion directly by her side all day like usual, she had to admit, being paired up with Niall for the day wasn’t so bad. She was mostly right about him being sweet and kind and full of energy. She was also right about her having to do most of the logistics and responsibility aspect of the job, but she was ok with that. He kept up the energy and she made sure no one got killed and for the most part, things seemed to be going smoothly. Only three kids had been taken to the infirmary and only one of those kids was actually injured in a way that made her nervous, so she considered that a pretty big win.

Lunch wasn’t so bad either. It was a tradition that the campers had to be silent at lunch on Color Wars day, and only the team captains could speak. That meant she couldn’t sit down and have a regular conversation with Harry because everyone could hear everything she was saying, but it meant that she got to call across the giant room to Niall and wave and make jokes about how the Blue Team was going to win. And he wasn’t Harry, but Niall definitely made her laugh quite a bit. 

By the afternoon, YN was more exhausted than ever, but her mood was a little better than it had been in the morning. With a handful of fun moments under her belt, and a break from her own cabin of campers, the day hadn’t been a total loss after all. But then she twisted her ankle playing basketball causing her team to lose, and she caught three different sets of campers making out behind a fence, and her grumpiness came right back. 

So when it was time for capture the flag against Red Team with Harry, YN was both annoyed in general with her day and relieved to at least get to see him. But they couldn’t even play on the same team since they were opposing team captains, which only made her crankier. Plus, YN had never seen her campers so engaged in an activity as they were when they were listening to Harry describe the strategy for the game. Which totally wasn’t fair because they never listened to her if she tried to give instructions or remind them to shower or quiet down at the end of lunch. 

The game started and kids from both teams started running around the field, tagging each other and guarding their flags. Harry was deeply invested in the game, or so it seemed. He stood at the border between the two sides and instructed the campers on who should run where, who should go up against who, and what their best possibility for actually getting the flag might be. 

YN, meanwhile, stayed back. She helped to guard Blue Team’s flag, which sat in the middle of a circle of bright orange cones. Her thinking was that most of the campers and staff would get tagged before they even got to her, so she wouldn’t really have to do all that much. She also thought that if she had a frown on her face or her brows were furrowed, no one would really notice because they wouldn’t really be looking at her, but looking past her to the flag itself.

When YN and Harry first made eye contact from across the field, his expression changed from one of determination to one of concern. He cocked his head to the side and mouthed “are you ok?” as best he could, and YN shrugged and nodded. He didn’t seem convinced, but a camper ran up to him to excitedly tell him a new possible strategy, and being the allstar counselor he was, Harry turned his attention to the child. 

After that, they caught each other’s gaze a few times from across the field, Harry’s devious smirk growing more pronounced each time. YN couldn’t quite figure out what it meant, so she pushed the thought away and continued in the game. So far, her strategy of staying back and putting in minimal effort was working, and she was rather proud of herself for that. Maybe she could get through this game without too much difficulty, finish off the day strong, put the kids to bed, and spend time in the lounge with Harry comparing their days through laughter. 

After the game had been going for nearly 30 minutes, campers were getting tired, and YN was checking her watch, she knew something big had to be coming soon. Harry was smart, and he wasn’t going to keep directing his team to be doing the same thing forever. Plus he noticed that YN wasn’t in the happiest of moods and if history meant anything, he would probably be doing something stupid to try and cheer her up pretty soon. 

YN was right, as she saw Harry circle up a group of campers (mostly her cabin, who were essentially attached to him all day). They broke up their huddle and spread out and Harry counted down from three, and that’s when all of them, including Harry, ran towards the Blue Team’s side of the field. Typically he would let a camper here or there catch him and send him back to the other side to give the illusion of success, but not this time. 

He swiftly dodged the many small hands reaching for him until he made it to the back side of the field. Standing in front of YN, his stance was crouched down a bit with bent knees and he looked at the game around him. His eyes then reached YN, who took his same stance mockingly.

“Think you can get past me, Styles?”

“Maybe.” His dimples were on full display.

“Can’t get the flag for yourself, gotta let a camper get it. Come on, thought you were better than this.” 

Harry shrugged. “Maybe I am.” 

He looked around again, and when he saw that several of his team’s campers had made it to the far end of the field with him, he called out to them “NOW!” 

One foot in front of the other, he ran directly at YN rather than trying to get around her.

“Harry what are you - HARRY!” she called out as he wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up, and carried her over his shoulder and away from her guard post, legs kicking out and arms whacking his back. 

“Harry put me down!” she called out through a laugh. 

“NO! This is for Red Team!” 

He carried her as close to the edge of the field as he could before dropping to his knees, placing her on the ground on her back, and pinning her down. He sat on top of her, legs on either side of her hips. Smile on full display, dimples deeper than she had probably ever seen, and eyes bright and mischievous, he held her there giggling at his own strategy. 

YN was lost in his eyes at this point, no longer paying almost any attention to the game at hand. Later on, someone could tell her that actually a meteor had struck the middle of the field and everyone had passed out and she probably wouldn’t have noticed. She was too busy gazing up at the best view she had seen in ages - Harry’s excited, devious, cute face. 

“Let me go!” she called out, though she didn’t really mean it. 

“Never!” he answered. 

She started flailing her arms around, pushing on his shoulders in a last-ditch attempt to get him off of her, but he only grabbed her hands in his own and raised them above her head, pinning her down completely. He was bent over at the waist, their faces closer than before. They sat there for a moment then, both of them laughing. YN’s cheeks were starting to hurt from the strain of her own smile. 

But then something strange happened. Harry’s face dropped, and he suddenly looked much more serious. His gaze traveled to where their hands clasped together above her head, down to her face, along her torso, eventually making his way back up to her eyes. 

“Shit, can’t wait till we’re alone...so much I wanna do to you right now...” he whispered with a deeper inflection to his voice than usual. 

YN’s smile fell then too as her gaze traveled along his body, landing at the spot where they were connected but saying nothing. 

Harry closed his eyes for a moment before inhaling deeply and looking back at her. 

“Y’alright though? Didn’t hit the ground too hard did you?” he changed the subject.

“I’m fine, Harry,” she responded, still smiling. 

Harry nodded, looking away from her for a moment to gauge what was happening in the game. 

YN took her opportunity then, gathering her strength and rolling them both over in the grass until he was on his back and she was on top. Smiling back on her face, she bit down on her bottom lip as she took control of the situation. 

And maybe this wasn’t the smartest move YN could have made. Maybe rolling around in the grass until she was sitting on top of Harry, her center resting over his hips, hands held together next to his head, wasn’t the greatest thing to be doing in the middle of the day around a group of campers. And maybe relaxing her waist and putting more pressure on him when she already knew he was at least a little bit turned on wasn’t the most appropriate thing she could have done to her best friend. But she did it, and the look on his face when he closed his eyes tight and let out a breath was all the reward she needed. 

“Fuck, YN,” he groaned out, still quiet enough that no one else could hear but her. “Y’gonna kill me, y’know that?” 

She felt him then, solidly beneath her, right where she always secretly wanted him to be, and her eyes went wide at the realization of what she was feeling. 

“Shit Harry I - I’m sorry I’ll get up, I’ll -”

“No!” he cut her off. “If you... if you get up now then everyone will see that I’m...” 

“Oh... yeah lemme just...” she shifted her weight onto her knees so she was hovering above him then, quickly missing the sensation of him between her thighs but immediately feeling guilt over the thought of her best friend. 

“Just... just need a minute,” he told her, eyes squeezed tight. 

YN looked up then as she heard screaming from the other end of the field. Harry’s strategy had worked and one of the girls had carried the flag back to Red Team’s side leading to a celebration. 

“Think of Niall snoring,” she told him quietly, hoping it would solve his problem before they had to take over responsibilities as captains again. Her suggestion made him laugh. 

So, maybe the day hadn’t been a complete waste after all. YN was undoubtedly in a much better mood after their little moment on the field, which was a good thing considering neither blue or red won, but actually it was the green team who was announced as the winner of the day just ahead of dinner time. 

YN’s campers spent the evening telling her about their day with Harry. Apparently, he was significantly more fun than they realized, he helped them win lots of games and encouraged them. They were arguing over who got the most high-fives from him and the little one bragged that she even got to give him a hug! He was so muscly but also soft! And his arms were bigger than my face! YN smiled as she heard them recount their stories. Harry was always so good with the kids, knowing when to be kind and gentle, when to give some tough love, and when to make them laugh. 

“You’re so lucky you’re dating him, YN,” one of the campers said that night before bed. 

“I told you a million times, we’re not dating.” 

“Whatever... you spend a lot of time with him and he obviously likes you.”

“And we saw you fighting with him on the field during capture the flag! He was smiling with dimples and everything!” another one called out from her bunk. 

“I don’t know what you think you saw,” YN started, “but I’ve told you a million times, we aren’t dating.” 

She turned off the lights shortly after that, and luckily the kids were pretty wiped out after the exciting day. It was Sarah’s turn for bedwatch so YN changed into her comfy sweatpants and snuck out the door quietly. Harry hadn’t made a plan with her for that night, but she knew he would be off that night too, and likely in the staff lounge with most of the other counselors. 

The stars were bright that night, brighter than usual it seemed. YN almost walked into a tree three separate times on her way down to the staff lounge because she was so distracted by the shapes in the sky. She realized then that they never actually did any stargazing the other night. Maybe she could get Harry to join her in that tonight instead. 

She heared the laughter before she even opened the door of the small structure. Inside, something like ten other counselors were sitting in a circle, sharing snacks and laughing about their day. Harry’s face snapped to the door as soon as she opened it, his smile growing big across his face as he scooted over on the old couch to make room for her to sit next to him. YN could feel the tension releasing in her shoulders at the sight of him, realizing that she could have her buddy back and feel a little less alone again.

“YN, just in time!” Adam called to her from across the circle. “We were gonna start playing truth or dare.” 

“What are we, 15?” YN teased. 

Adam shrugged. “Maybe those teenagers got something right about a fun way to spend the night together.” 

Harry draped his arm around the back of the couch then, making space for YN to move in a bit closer to him. His body heat radiated off of him and warmed her on the chilly night. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle into him for real, rest her head on his chest and listen to his heart beat as he spoke soothing words to put her to sleep. Maybe his arm would come down from the couch and wrap around her to keep her securely next to him and he would give a kiss to the top of her head and she closed her eyes. 

YN visibly shook her head to get the thoughts to dissipate. 

The game started then, going around in a circle. It felt like they were teenagers again - daring each other to kiss and making each other share embarrassing stories or fantasies. Adam apparently had a thing for fucking doggy style and Niall admitted that he had hooked up with two girls in one day one time. 

When it was Harry’s turn, he picked truth. Adam started snickering right away. 

“I’ve got a good one,” he declared to the group. “Would you ever hook up with YN?” 

Her heart dropped. She didn’t want to hear the answer. If the answer was no, she would be at least a little heartbroken to know that she had absolutely no chance, and none of what he had been saying the past few days really held any weight. And it would be so completely embarrassing for that to come out in front of so manypeople, who would no doubt see her face fall a slightly and read into it and maybe realize that she kind of liked him and- 

Harry looked down at her with a soft smile before looking back at Adam across the room. He shrugged a bit, dropping his arm from the back of the couch down to rest around her shoulder. 

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?” He admitted. 

YN was a bit in shock, but she tried her best not to show it. She felt every muscle in her body tense up and her brain was on fire. 

The group around them started chatting and joking about the answer, and Harry leaned down to whisper into YN’s ear. 

“Are y’alright? That wasn’t too..?” 

“No... yeah... I’m...I’m good,” she told him with a forced smile. 

Harry dropped his brows. “Y’cold?” he asked, seemingly looking for an answer to why she seemed so uncomfortable. 

“No, I’m fine H.” 

“YN, it’s your turn!” someone called out, bringing her attention back to the group. 

“Um... truth I guess?” In all honesty, YN was a bit afraid after that last question that if she had chosen dare they would dare them to kiss and although she had imagined that moment a million times, she didn’t want it to happen like this. If it was going to happen, she wanted it to happen for real. 

“And you have to ask her a different question!” someone clarified. 

The group seemed to be thinking to themselves for a moment, trying to come up with a good question before Niall spoke up. 

“I got one - YN, tell us about the first time a guy made you cum?” 

She immediately felt the blood rushing to her cheeks as she looked down at her lap. Of course, she didn’t want to answer the question, but she didn’t want to cause a scene either. Maybe she could lie. Make up some guy from college who theoretically rocked her world and call it a day. But the point of the game was to tell the truth and she was shit at lying and a stickler for following the rules. The whole room was staring at her, the pressure intensifying with every second. She squeezed her toes, desperately wishing at that moment she could simply disappear and none of this would matter anymore. 

Harry’s arm flexed and held her tighter against him as he spoke up.

“She’s not gonna answer that one, ask something else,” he said. 

“That’s not fair, it’s the point of the game. Come on, we all shared,” Adam insisted. 

YN looked up at Harry, silently begging him to do something. And it was like he could read her mind. 

“I said she’s not answering. Either ask another one or we’re leaving.” His voice was deeper and stronger than usual, and all signs of his typical smile vanished completely from his face. 

“What, you’re not a virgin are you?” 

“No! I’m not it-it’s just...” she couldn’t find the strength to say anything. Luckily, Harry came to her defense again. 

He stood up suddenly, grabbing her hand in his and standing up suddenly.

“C’mon, we’re leaving. You don’t have to answer that,” he told her. “She’s not answering it,” he repeated again to the room as he started walking them towards the door.

She did her best to look apologetic to the rest of the group, but when they reached the night air outside and the door closed behind them she let out a sigh of relief. They walked down the hill a little way before Harry stopped, wrapping his arms around her neck and pulling her in close. He always knew exactly what she needed.

“Thank you, H,” she whispered into his chest, arms secured around his lower back. He was wearing an old cozy sweatshirt and she wanted to crawl up inside of it. 

His hand started to rub up and down her back. “Of course. Stays between us, right?” He reminded her of his promise the other day. “Still gonna make sure that happens for you this summer though.”

YN knew exactly what he was suggesting, and she felt herself blushing again as she considered Harry somehow fulfilling his promise to give her a partner-induced orgasm before the end of the summer. After everything he had said to her recently, she started to wonder what his plan was. She was grateful that her face was still hidden in their hug. 

“Now,” he started softly. “What are we going to do with the rest of our night? Hm?” 

YN released her arms from around his back, and Harry followed suit. 

“Well I realized we never actually did any stargazing the other night, and it’s so bright tonight I thought maybe we could -” 

“Yes!” Harry cut her off. “That sounds perfect. Don’t wanna walk all the way out to our spot though, mind if we go somewhere else?” 

YN agreed, and Harry took her hand to lead her to wherever it was that he had in mind. She expected him to let go after a few steps, but he didn’t. Instead, their hands dropped between them and he held onto her tight. His hand was large and warm around hers. Occasionally his thumb would rub up and down the back of her hand. 

The walk was nice, and peaceful. She always loved walking through camp at night but it was ten times better with Harry. In the quiet between them, she let her mind wander to happy memories of summers past. The time she watched Harry win a hotdog eating competition in the dining hall. The time she almost fell on her roller skates but Harry reached her right in time so he fell on his ass but she fell only on him. The time YN attempted to play frisbee with him on the field, but accidentally threw the disk into the forest and it took Harry 15 minutes to find it and come back. The time they discovered mint growing down by the creek and picked some to put in their water bottles. The time when they were kids and YN tried so hard to teach Harry to properly dive, but he was a terrible pupil and ended up smacking his face on the water every time. 

She had memories with other friends too, sure. But it was those moments with Harry - some special and some rather mundane - that stuck out to her the most. It was him she thought of when they passed each of those locations in the still night, bright stars overhead, and hands clasped together. 

“Can practically hear you thinking,” he broke the silence.

She looked up at him with a soft smile. “Yeah, but good things though. I promise.” 

Harry hummed in response as they turned the corner and reached the field. “Thought we could hike up to the cliff, stargaze from there. Know it’s dark but it’s not far and I’ve got a flashlight,” he suggested. 

She realized then that he must’ve been somehow planning this because he never carried anything with him that he didn’t absolutely need. YN agreed and followed him to the small trailhead at the corner of the field. They started hiking up the narrow path, hands never releasing from one another. 

They had hiked this trail dozens of times - a signature hike that was practically a requirement for any camper. But neither of them had ever done it at night. Harry led the way, scanning the trail with his flashlight and warning YN of rocks on the path or roots sticking up. He pushed low branches out of their way and tested the bigger rocks for stability, only allowing her to cross over them when he was convinced she would be safe.

Eventually, the trees parted way and opened up to a small clearing at the top of the cliff. From the edge, they could see the entire camp by the light of the moon. Harry stood behind her, holding her close with his arms around her middle, and she relaxed back into him. Her head rested on his chest and she let out a deep breath. 

“Don’t think I’ve ever been up here at night,” he whispered to her like it was a secret, even though they were alone. 

“Me neither.” 

YN was meant to be looking up at the stars, but she was so at peace in that moment she let her eyelids drop and soaked up the moment with Harry instead. He had said he liked holding her close, but she never truly appreciated how good it felt until this moment. If she could freeze time and live in one moment forever, she’s pretty sure she would choose this one. 

They were silent for a while, appreciating the moment together. Harry’s thumb stroked up and down her tummy a bit, and YN moved her hands to hold Harry’s arms. He was soft, and warm, and strong, and safe. The entire universe could melt away leaving just the two of them, and YN would still be happy to be standing there together. 

After a few minutes of quiet, she opened her eyes. Adjusting to the moonlight, she blinked a few times, letting out a contented sigh. 

“Harry?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I like when you hold me close too,” she admitted. 

“Good,” he answered. “Because I think I want to start doing it a lot more often.” 

YN turned around to face him without removing leaving his grasp. He had a pout, clearly disappointed that she was no longer resting up against him. 

She leaned her head back and looked up at him to ask, “What do you mean when you say those things, H? Like when you said you wanted to be everything for me, or you were selfish and I’m yours. Or on the field, you said you wanted to do things alone?”

Harry sighed, a smile on his face as he shook his head at her. “You ask all these questions, YN. Thought I was making it pretty obvious.” 

“Making what obvious?” 

“That... that I want you.” 

They were whispering, even though no one was within earshot. Harry used one hand on her lower back to press her closer to him, and lifted the other to rest his palm on the side of her face, his thumb rubbing softly at the apple of her cheek. 

“Want me how?” she asked, breathless. 

“Want you like this.” 

He looked down to her lips, then back up at her eyes. Closing the distance between them, his soft lips touched hers. The gesture was gentle, careful, both of them holding their breaths. She melted into his touch and reached out for his body bringing one hand to his hip and the other to his chest. When his lips began to move, her hand grabbed at the top of his shirt, bringing him in even closer. 

Harry took the lead in parting slightly, their lips still brushing as he spoke. 

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” 

“Really? I... I never thought that you would want this... with me.”

He looked at her quizzically, head cocked to the side. “Why not?”

“Well... because you’re you, and I’m me,” she explained like it was obvious. 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means... Harry, you’re cute, and you’re sweet, and you have that accent, and you could get anyone you want. You kissed all my friends and never made a move on me so I just figured....”

“YN,” Harry started, shaking his head. “That is so... stupid. I never did that with you because... you were always worth too much to me. Those girls... I kissed them once and then never talked to them again. Or we hooked up a few times and then things got weird. I didn’t... even back then I knew you were more important than that, I didn’t want to lose you. Been thinking about this for years but you... you always turned me down.”

“Turned you down?” she asked, confused now. “You never even...”

“Babe, all those nights we went stargazing? You wouldn’t even touch my hand or give me a hug! I tried so many times but eventually, I just gave up and... I figured I’d rather have you as my friend than not have you at all. Or even the other night, outside your cabin. I told you I wanted to be everything for you, and you just hugged me and said I was a good friend.  I’ve always been here. I’ve been right here waiting for you.” 

YN was shocked at the revelation but did her best to hide it. 

“You are... everything to me. Really.”

“For so long I thought you would never see me as anything else,” he admitted to her. “But now that I know that you... I’m never going to let you feel alone, ever again. I promise.” 

“Well... let’s make up for lost time then.” 

He didn’t answer, only leaned back in and started kissing her again, this time with a little more force. His right hand supported her jaw while his left traveled down to her hips where he used his leverage to pull her in tighter against him. YN let out a little gasp when she felt her core right up against him, and he used the opportunity to slip his tongue between her lips. YN took to it naturally, her heart fluttering as he squeezed at her hip and let his other hand move back into her hair.  

“Harry,” she breathed out as he took a moment to catch his own breath. 

“I know,” he responded before diving back in.

They continued like that for a while, hands wandering, lips and tongues working together. She could’ve sworn she heard him let out a few little sounds, but it might have been a trick of her brain when some birds called out overhead. His body was warm, and cozy, and safe. And he was really good at what he was doing. 

A gust of wind passed over them, causing YN to shiver a bit. Harry stopped then, a look of concern on his face. 

“Y’cold? Can have my jacket if you want,” he offered. 

“No, I’d rather just... just keep holding me.” 

So he did. They stood there together, at the top of the cliff overlooking the whole camp, and held each other close - YN’s back leaning against Harry’s front and her head resting on his shoulder. Their breaths synced up and YN turned her attention to the sky, where it was meant to be all along. And they stayed like that, close and warm and content until YN looked down at her watch and noticed it was almost staff curfew. 

“Should probably head down now,” she said. 

“Yeah...” he agreed but didn’t move. “Just... lemme stay like this for a couple more minutes.” 

. . .

YN couldn’t stop smiling. It was plastered across her face all day, and only got wider when she saw Harry or remembered last night. She was in a great mood in the morning, a time that she was usually a little bit grouchy. And had almost too much enthusiasm when her campers won a basketball game. At pool time, she actually changed into her bathing suit and played with the kids, jumping and diving in and taking silly pictures. 

Harry was being sweet on her all day too. At breakfast, he made her coffee and let her eat off of his plate. He disciplined a camper so she didn’t have to when they were refusing to clear off their lunch plate. And he sat next to her during every program and activity - which wasn’t different from normal, but given what had just happened, it felt different to YN. Some little empty spot inside of her heart that had been there for as long as she could remember felt like it had been filled with a magic, sparkling warmth that only Harry could give her. She remembered how Harry had told her that night behind the cabin that he knew she was lonely, and YN knew in that moment that she was never going to feel lonely again. Not as long as Harry was around. 

Like every day, the campers pestered her about Harry, but she indulged them a smidge more. When they giggled over how cute he was she casually agreed, and when they asked what his hugs were like she described them as solid and warm and safe. When they asked if they were dating, she still said no but she said it with a bit more of a smile than usual. 

In the early afternoon during art time, the girls were working on ceramics and the boys were having a turn at tie-dye. YN doesn’t always participate in these activities with the campers, often taking the time where they are being supervised by additional staff to take a step back and relax or gossip with Harry. But he was heavily engaged in helping his kids with their tie dye (mostly making sure they didn’t squirt dye at each other) so YN decided it was as good a time as ever to try her hand at making a pot. There was definitely some trial and error involved, and when Harry walked over to check on her “need some water or anything?” she couldn’t stop herself from dabbing a spot of wet clay onto his nose, both of them giggling. 

They sat together during the daily staff meeting, Harry’s arm securely around YN’s shoulder as Mitch droned on with information that they were meant to be listening to. She had to resist the urge to melt into his side the same way she melted into him while held her on the cliff the night before. In all honesty, she hardly paid any attention to the meeting. Her mind was too busy replaying visions of her and Harry hiking, looking at the stars, kissing... 

Harry stood up, shaking YN out of her thoughts as the meeting ended. He turned around to look at her with a soft smile. 

“So, steal some snacks? Watch TV in the lounge?” he suggested. 

“No, let’s... let’s hang out in my cabin.” 

Harry’s smile grew wider as he knew exactly what she was thinking. They walked up the hill hand in hand, giggling as they fell through the doorway of the cabin, trekking over the messes left by campers after weeks of not cleaning. They made it to the front of the cabin and stood in front of her bed. 

Hooking his fingers into her belt loops, he pulled her in closer to him so their centers matched. Her breath was heavy as she looked into his eyes and started giggling softly, one hand on his bicep and the other resting over his heart. Matching her energy, Harry placed a few pecks on her lips before leaving short kisses on the tip of her nose, her cheek, her forehead. Her laughter grew with his every touch and she felt the butterflies in her tummy dancing like fireworks. 

Stopping for a moment, Harry backed up and tilted his head, hearts in his eyes as he admired YN who started blushing uncontrollably. 

“Y’so.... fuckin’ beautiful, shit,” he murmured under his breath. Her blush grew even deeper. 

“Shut up and kiss me,” she responded, moving her hand from his arm to bury her fingers in the hair at the back of his head. 

“Alright.” With a smile, he dove back in, kissing her deeply. 

The night before on the cliff was gentle, timid, unsure, and soft. But this time was eager and hungry. One of his hands stroked up her side, thumb gently passing over the side of her breast and then snaking around to her upper back, where he used his new leverage to push her even closer to him. His other hand remained on her hip, squeezing tightly, and she hoped there might be faint bruises left over. 

As they stood there together, making out in an empty cabin in the middle of the day, YN was the happiest she could ever remember being. Historically, she had not always loved making out compared to other acts she could be doing instead, but with Harry, she would take whatever he would give her. His lips were soft and plush, his body was warm, and she never felt more wanted than in that moment with him. 

He let his hand wander from her hip around her back to appreciate her ass. Squeezing one cheek lightly, the tips of his fingers reached below the frayed hemline of the shorts and came in contact with her soft skin. 

“Fuck, babe. Driving me crazy running ‘round in these things,” he groaned against her lips. 

She giggled in response, becoming pliant as he turned their bodies similarly to how they navigated the platform on the ropes course, and the back of her knees hit the edge of her bed. Their lips broke for a moment as she rearranged herself to be lying down on the twin-sized mattress. Harry followed her, his left arm supporting his body on the bed next to her shoulder and his right hand finding its place on her jaw. He hovered above her, tilting her chin up to meet his as he reconnected their lips. 

That’s when she felt his hips drop down to meet hers. She let out a small gasp into the kiss as she felt the extent of his excitement, and he chuckled under his breath in response. They tried not to break their lips apart, but when he rolled his hips into hers, she couldn’t help but let out a shallow breath, mouth open wide. 

“Fuck...so much I wanna do... don’t know where t’start,” Harry admitted, lips brushing up against YN’s. 

“Harry, I’m gonna be honest, I’m so fucking wet right now I don’t even care what you do but if you don’t do something right now I’m going to literally die,” she begged. 

He laughed a bit at that, shifting his body enough to leave a soft kiss on her forehead. 

“Want me to take care of you?” he asked.

“Please.”

“How much time do we have left?” 

YN looked at her watch. “A little over 40 minutes.” 

“Ok,” he nodded, gears clearly spinning as he thought through his plan. “I can work with that. But next time,” he raised a brow, making sure she was looking at him before repeating himself. “I can make that work, but next time we’re gonna go slow, alright?” 

She nodded her head eagerly, still desperate for him to do something, anything. To touch her or kiss her or something. 

“Eager today, hm?” 

“Harry, I’ve been waiting for this for so long, please just touch me.” 

He laughed again, leaning down to kiss at her jaw, behind her ear, and down her neck. Desperately, he wanted to leave a mark on her pulse point but he knew better than that given the circumstances. Still, he took his time, appreciating every bit of her body that he had access to. Her shoulder, her collar bones, the top of her chest. 

Finally, his hands found their way under the hem of her shirt and started to lift slowly. His touch on her skin felt like fire in the best possible way. 

“Can I?” he asked. Again, she nodded her head. 

She sat up a bit to help him lift her shirt up over her head, which he threw to the ground to join the rest of the mess in the cabin. Before YN could lay back down completely his hand twisted around to her back, resting flat over the clasp of her bra. 

“And...?”

“Yes,” she breathed out desperately.

With a quick twist, he released the clasp and she wiggled her shoulders to help the old, unexciting bra fall down. He took it the rest of the way off of her, throwing it on the floor as well. Then he sat back for a moment, eyes glued to her body, admiring her wordlessly. YN started to squirm under his harsh gaze, tempted to cover herself with her arm. 

She started to move to block his view, but he caught her hand just in time and placed it back beside her. 

“No just... so pretty I jus’ wanna...” his voice drifted off and his gaze turned softer as he leaned down and started leaving kisses on the tops of her breasts. 

YN closed her eyes, appreciating the feeling of his mouth on her body, finally. While his mouth focused on one side, his hand kneaded at the other until they switched. He sucked and pinched at her nipples until they were standing up proud for him to lick at. But he was moving slowly, too slowly, and they only had limited time before they had to pick up their campers from electives. 

“Harry, this is great but I need you to-” 

“I know,” he cut her off.

Harry left one last kiss on each breast before trailing his mouth down her stomach until he reached the top of her denim shorts. He hooked a finger beneath the waistband and looked up at her, waiting for her nod before he continued to pull down her shorts and panties in one pull. She lifted her hips to help him and he threw them onto the floor with the rest of her clothes.

“Take off your shirt,” she demanded. 

He smiled, pulling his shirt from the back of his neck and tossing it aside. 

“Like what you see?” he teased.

With a straight face, she responded “Yes, now please.” 

Harry giggled a bit, sitting back on his knees at the end of the bed. He placed his hands on her thighs and looked up at her with a soft gaze as he left a gentle squeeze. 

“Now this,” he said, dimple popping on one side, “is where I keep that promise from the other night.” 

It took YN a moment to break through the fog in her brain and remember what he was talking about - a partner-induced orgasm. 

“Bold of you to assume you can do it.” 

“Is that a challenge? I take this very seriously,” he replied, smile still plastered across his face. 

She nodded. 

“Alrigh’ then, spread your legs for me darlin’,” he told her softly, dragging his hands down her thighs and helping to spread her open. 

He took his place in between her legs, and exactly as he had with her chest he took a moment to admire her body in front of him. 

“Can’t believe y’hid this pussy from me for so long,” he said mostly to himself, shaking his head. 

YN felt the cold air meet her center and shivered. 

“Won’t be cold for long, I promise.” 

With that, Harry dove down and got to work. He started by licking her core up and down, appreciating it and getting a feel for her body. When he sucked lightly on her clit she felt her body jolt, completely out of her own control. And when his tongue entered her, she threw her head back on the pillow. 

But the killer was when he sat up a bit to take a breath and used his hands to spread her lips apart, keeping direct eye contact with her as he let a trail of spit land right on her most sensitive spot. 

“Harry,” YN said breathlessly. “It’s... it’s a lot but it’s so... fuck H... you’re doing so good you...” She could barely get a sentence out but tried her best knowing that he liked the praise. 

“Y’like that? Good... you’re doing so good for me, baby.” Her body shuddered again, but this time it wasn’t from the temperature in the room. Maybe she liked the praise a little bit too.

“Harry...”

“I know baby, I know,” he whispered against her skin, not stopping his movements. 

He looked right up at her then, making eye contact as he put on a show of licking at her little button. It didn’t last for long though, since she closed her eyes to cope with the pleasure she was feeling. By this point, she was squirming and wiggling beyond her control, and Harry had to place his arm over her lower tummy to help keep her still for him. 

They were in a rush timing-wise, but based on Harry’s movements she would have thought they had all the time in the world. He used his tongue in long, languid strokes, his fingers assisting with her clit while he tasted her. Rubbing in slow circles, his movements somehow matched the low groans he was letting out at her taste. 

“Best thing I’ve ever tasted,” he murmured under his breath before looking up at YN’s face. “Could stay down here all day, y’know that?” 

“Harry, please. We don’t have much time.” 

She was right, his slow movements were eating away at their deadline and if he wanted to get her to the finish line he was going to have to start working for it. He looked at the time on her bedside clock, eyes going wide as he saw that they only had 20 minutes left. 

“Want you to relax for me, can you do that?” he asked her. “Only gonna work if you relax and let me work, ok?” 

“I’ll try.”

“Good girl.”

She keened at the phrase, and blood would have rushed to her cheeks if it wasn’t already rushing down to her throbbing clit. A bit embarrassed, YN was relieved that Harry didn’t say anything about her reaction, but secretly hoped he noticed enough that he would at least say it again. 

As he refocused again, he brought his mouth to her clit and filled her with his fingers. She hadn’t had anyone inside of her for a long time, so even though his fingers were smaller than her vibrator, the sensation took a moment to get used to. But he hardly gave her any time at all, thrusting his fingers in and out of her at a ruthless pace. Meanwhile, his lips encased her enlarged clit, sucking hard in pulses and using his tongue to circle around the area. It was a lot, and it was so good. 

“Harry... I... fuck... you’re so... Harry...” 

He hummed without lifting his mouth from its spot and the vibrations went straight to her core. She could feel her stomach starting to tighten up, her toes starting to curl, the muscles in her legs starting to tense. With one hand she grabbed at the sheet, the other buried deep in his hair and starting to pull. She wanted to tell him he was doing a good job, wanted to tell him she was going to cum soon, wanted to tell him ‘thank you for trying so hard’, wanted to appease the praise kink she knew he had. But in that moment her brain was relegated to a pile of mush and if she tried to say any words she was confident they would come out like gibberish. 

So instead she opened her mouth, allowing her vocal cords to wake up and add some music to the heavy breathing and panting she had been doing up until that point. Her small moans did the talking for her, letting him know she was close and starting to lose control. 

The octave of her sounds went up suddenly when he twisted his fingers, rubbing them against the top of her walls and finding that elusive spot that no other man had managed (or even tried) to find. Her hips started bucking towards him on their own accord, and that’s how she knew he was really going to keep his promise. 

“Harry... I... Harry,” was all she could get out of her mouth prior to the flood of pleasure ripped through her body. It was completely different than the orgasms she had caused by herself. Maybe her vibrator could be a bit stronger than his fingers, but with Harry never stopping his motions, she felt grateful and happy in a way that the small robot could never make her feel. Her eyes squeezed tightly closed, head leaning all the way back to reveal her elongated neck, and she tugged even harder at Harry’s hair (which only made him moan again, increasing the sensations she was experiencing in that moment). 

YN wasn’t even aware of the noises she was making or how loud she was being, even though she probably should have tried to keep quiet as the old buildings were definitely not soundproof to any extent. But in that moment none of it mattered. The only thing that mattered was Harry and the way he was making her feel. 

He continued rubbing and thrusting and sucking and licking until she couldn’t take any more, whimpering as she used her grasp in his hair to push him away. She was panting, eyes still closed as she attempted to catch her breath. 

Opening her eyes just in time, YN saw Harry bring his fingers up to his mouth, sucking them clean followed by wiping his shiny face on the back of her discarded shirt. He crawled up the bed to lie down next to her, and she knew she had a stupid smile on her face but she didn’t even care. 

“Told you I’d make it happen for you this summer. Dream team, right?” 

She giggled at that. 

Looking at her watch, she realized they only had 10 minutes left until they had to be down the hill with their campers, which meant they only had 5 minutes until they had to throw their clothes back on and leave the cabin. 

“Is five minutes enough for me to... for you... your turn?” she settled on, unsure of how to ask what she was suggesting. 

Harry let out a short breath. “Shit, YN. After watching you do that I think I could cum in about 30 seconds. I mean. Fuck.” 

YN giggled as she reached down to his tummy, spreading her fingers out to feel his soft skin and muscles before drifting lower to the top of his shorts. 

“Gonna let me help, then?” she asked softly. 

He nodded in response as YN hooked her fingers in his waistband and pulled his pants down. When his length sprang up and nearly hit his stomach, she had to pause. YN wanted so badly to admire his cock, to appreciate his body the way he had done for her, or maybe even more so. But they didn’t have time. She could swear it was both longer and thicker than what he had described while they were drinking a few days ago, but she could easily be remembering wrong. Regardless, it had no business being as pretty as it was. Solid, a thick vein running up the side, his head sensitive and nearly purple as he started to leak. 

But right as she was about to reach for it and get to work, Harry stopped her. He grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips where he kissed each of her knuckles. 

“Wait, no babe,” he told her. “We don’t have time and I want... I want things to always be good with us, yeah? I made you feel good, and next time it can be my turn, ok?” 

With a few minutes left over, the two of them opted to stay where they were in her bed, YN resting her head on Harry’s chest and their arms wrapped around each other. This was the type of holding close she had been secretly hoping he was talking about up on the ropes course. She heard his heartbeat eventually start to slow down, and his breathing stretched out. If they had more time, they definitely would have both fallen asleep like that. 

But they didn’t. With five minutes left until electives ended, at the time they should have been walking out of the door, YN and Harry groaned in a very unsexy way as they pulled themselves out of the bed. Harry threw his clothes back on quickly, but YN had to dig through her shelf to find a new shirt and make sure to hide the dirty one at the bottom of her laundry bag. 

After changing, YN turned around to see Harry looking at her with a smile.

“What?”

“Nothing just...” he placed a short kiss on her lips. “Alright, now we can go.” 

It was like that for a few days, then, spending that quality alone time together in her cabin during hours off. On nights off they had to get more creative with their locations - the storage room on the field, behind the infirmary, in the oversized bathroom, on a platform hidden behind some trees that no one ever used. It was risky, sure. But it was exciting, and fun, and new. YN didn’t really care where they were or what they were doing as long as they were doing it together. 

Harry was so good with his words, too. So many years of practice made him great at getting her worked up just by what he said to her and how he said it. Sometimes he would whisper something naughty in her ear during the staff meeting when they were surrounded by their peers. But mostly he spoke to her in that perfect way while he was knuckles deep inside of her, or his head was buried between her legs, or his dick was inside of her mouth and his hand was on the back of her head. 

They always felt like they had limited time. Even on nights off, there was a curfew and the ever-present risk of getting caught. They were hardly the first couple to hook up at camp but still, no one wanted to get caught in the act. So with the risk and time limits hanging over their heads, they never felt safe enough to really go for it, to fully give themselves to one another in the way they really wanted to. 

YN didn’t mind though. Ever since that night on the cliff, she craved Harry’s lips on hers. It was like a drug. She started getting distracted while he was talking to her because instead of staring into his bright eyes, she was gazing longingly at his plush lips. On more than one occasion she caught herself right in time before leaning in to kiss him in front of campers. When they finally got to be alone, the first thing she would always do is attach herself to him by the lips and swear she would never let go. 

They weren’t always being naughty while they were alone though. Oftentimes they were doing the same thing they had always been doing, just with some extra affection. They still snuck into the kitchen to steal snacks but hid in an empty room so they could give each other kisses between bites. She told him about her day with her head on his lap as he played with her hair. And she scratched his back lightly while he was face down on her bed complaining about a camper. Sometimes they held hands and walked through the forest at night, reminiscing over old memories. And a lot of the time they held each other close, cuddling warm and cozy without saying a word. 

One night they decided to hike to the hidden campsite that was never used anymore and do some more stargazing together. They sat down on a big rock and Harry wrapped his arm around YN to hold her close and keep her warm. Like they always had, they would point out shapes in the stars to each other, discussing the universe or whatever else was on their minds. But what was on their mind tended to be them together, and in between, they couldn’t keep from kissing each other. YN even caught Harry looking at her when she was trying to point out a puppy she had found in the stars. 

“H, you’re not looking,” she chastised him softly.

“I’m looking right where I wanna be, babe.” He left a kiss on her cheek before finally turning to see where she was pointing to. 

And when it was quiet, they would talk about the future. They discussed their career paths, and how YN always wanted a little home with a picket fence and a dog. And Harry told her about the garden he always dreamed of when he was little. She told him about the cities in America she was considering when it was time to leave camp and start a year-round job, and Harry desperately tried to convince her that London was better. 

“But it’s so foggy and gray, Harry,” she had complained.

Harry shrugged. “Sure it’ll brighten up if you’re there. You’ll see. I’m taking you in September, and don’t even try to stop me.” 

And she didn’t. She loved the idea of getting to visit London with Harry, finally seeing the places he had been telling her about for years. But mostly she wanted to see him in his other comfort zone - camp was definitely a home to him but his real home, she was sure, would bring out something else in him that she might not have been able to see yet. And she always wanted to see more of him. 

One day they decided to do things a bit backward. Instead of sneaking out at night, they each slipped out of their cabins early in the morning, before the sun was up. YN was giggling to herself when she found Harry at the trailhead for the cliff in the corner of the field. They were each still in their pajamas, wrapped up in sweatshirts and bracing the chilly morning air. They made it up the hill in time to watch the sunrise over the camp together. The wind was sharper up there, so YN brought herself close to Harry, hugging him tightly and tucking her head under his chin. He held her close, rubbing up and down her back to help keep her warm as they looked out at the pinks and oranges in the sky together before quickly hurrying back down and into their cabins before anyone could realize they were missing. 

YN was notoriously not a morning person, but it was impossible to say no to Harry if he suggested something so special. To make it up to her, he had her coffee and breakfast waiting for her in the cafeteria that morning. 

Even in her sleepy state, Harry was able to make her laugh at breakfast that morning. They always laughed together, but in the recent days since they kissed they had been laughing even more. It was a big lift, considering Harry had been making her laugh for years. But for some reason, every word that came out of his mouth seemed funny, and she couldn’t keep herself from giggling. She was just as bad as some of her campers, except they would run away as the giggles broke out. With nowhere to run, YN was relegated to childish laughter right in front of Harry. But he never seemed to mind. She could swear it made him smile deeper. 

Harry took that laughter to heart, apparently. Because after his little move at capture the flag worked on her, he was desperate to catch YN like that again. He practically chased her around the pool until the lifeguard actually blew a whistle at them. She slowed down to a walk, but not for long as he rushed up beside her, grabbed her by the waist, and jumped into the deep end with her screaming. They came up for air laughing and gasping for breath. YN tried to shove him a bit, but Harry just swam away, daring her to catch him. 

And YN didn’t hold back anymore, either. Not that she really was before. But when he walked into dinner wearing a yellow shirt that showed off his honey skin tone and gray shorts that were a bit shorter than his regular tan line, she couldn’t control herself.

“You look hot,” she told him after looking around to make sure no one was in earshot. 

He shrugged. “I was out in the sun all day. Here I got you that salad dressing you like,” he said, passing a plate over to her. 

Harry had always taken care of her, asking if she needed water, reminding her to grab a jacket. He redoubled his efforts in that area. Refilling her water for her when the line at the fountain was long, reminding her to actually eat her meals when she got distracted by a needy camper, even bringing an extra one of his sweatshirts one evening because he knew that no matter how much he reminded her, she would always forget how chilly it gets once the sun goes down. The effort was big enough that YN noticed, like really noticed. And for the first time, she realized that he had been doing some of these things all along. And maybe if she wasn’t so dense she would have noticed that he didn’t just treat her so well because they were best friends, but because he cared so deeply for her that he couldn’t help it. 

YN did nice things for Harry as well. In addition to the onslaught of hugs he was receiving, she gifted him the clay pot she had made in art a few days prior. She painted it rainbow, and when she gave it to him she promised that on their next day off they would buy potting soil and a nice plant to grow in it. She snuck some of his dirty clothes into her bag when it was girls’ laundry day and he was running out of clean socks. Over the years she had made Harry countless friendship bracelets, but it was always because he asked her. Now she was making him one of the biggest she’d ever made and wouldn’t even let him pick the colors because the colors are based on my impression of your aura. You can’t give me any hints. 

The campers definitely noticed that something had changed between them as well, but for once, YN didn’t really mind their badgering. She started answering their questions a little bit more coyly. Instead of saying no when they asked if she was dating Harry, she would respond “well, what did I say last time? Do you think anything is different than the last hundred times you asked?” They were so intrigued by him, begging and begging for him to come by their cabin in the evening again, that YN finally relented and invited him to bring his guitar to sing lullabies. 

That night was a good deal for YN anyway. She got to spend more time with Harry, listen to his beautiful singing voice, and even put her campers to bed earlier than usual. His voice was nothing short of angelic to her ears, and apparently, the kids agreed. Most of them drifted off within fifteen minutes of his arrival. And although he was technically supposed to be singing to the campers, he spent most of the time looking directly into YN’s eyes. After most of the campers had drifted off, he played both Landslide and The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, which YN knew were two of his all-time favorite songs. His voice was soft and calming as YN eventually tucked herself into bed. 

Before he left, Harry gave YN a kiss on the top of her head. 

“Sleep well, baby,” he whispered to her, careful not to let any lingering ears hear the pet name. 

Already under the blankets and cozy, YN decided it was probably best to call it an early night. Not long ago she had been kept up late because she was thinking of Harry - but this night, she felt comforted and safe even just by the memory of him being there. She imagined he was in the bed with her, innocently cuddling up close to each other. That night she dreamt of his voice singing only to her while she rested her head on his chest, his arms embracing her, warm under the blanket in a room by themselves.

It might have been fun and games for the campers, but trouble came in the form of other staff noticing that things were changing. No one could really point to anything in particular because if they said it out loud, it sounded like the kind of stuff they always did - sitting together at meals, gossiping during programs, spending nights off together. What had changed was in the unspoken moments - the way they looked into each other’s eyes, the vibe let off while they were together.

It had gotten to a point where Mitch had actually reprimanded the two of them for spending too much time together and not enough time with their campers. They tried to argue that they were often together because they were with their campers, but it was to no avail. The ultimatum was that if they weren’t sitting with their campers at the next meal time, they wouldn’t be allowed in the same age group next session. And that was a risk neither of them were willing to take, especially not now. 

So they sat at the table eating their soggy tacos for lunch surrounded by 11 and 12-year-olds and pretending like everything was exactly the same. YN tried desperately to follow the stories the kids would tell, to understand the gossip they were spinning, but she always lost her way. Harry, on the other hand, was right there with them. He really shined while he was doing his job. He listened, he made them laugh, and he gave great advice. The girls were still coming up to him with random questions after his promise to always be honest with them after that first night in the cabin. 

And honestly, even while YN was surrounded by kids, she had a pretty narrow vision of Harry. She was practically blinded by the light he was letting off. Multiple times the kids had to reach around her to pass the sauce because she wasn’t paying enough attention. And normally she would have felt guilty - she really prided herself on her job as a counselor. But at this point, she didn’t really care as much as she cared about listening to whatever words came slowly dripping out of Harry’s mouth. 

So they met the ultimatum, but only barely. 

At dinner, Mitch instructed them to sit completely separately from each other. They needed to show the campers that you should be friends with everyone! And as hard as it was, both of them knew they had to do it. A little time apart would be ok. And they weren’t truly apart anyway, they were only sitting at different tables for one hour for dinner. How bad could it be? 

YN honestly thought it wasn’t too bad at all. At first, she was frustrated because after spending days completely absorbed in Harry, the thought of losing one of their favorite moments of the day together was going to be difficult. But she ended up sitting with a group of campers and Niall, and she already knew he could be fun after they were color wars captains together. He was funny and made her laugh with his dramatic stories and big gestures. The kids ate up every word that came out of his mouth (including when he told them to eat their vegetables). 

“Y’know,” he turned to her when the kids were mostly distracted. “On color wars day, when we went back to the cabin after lunch, he was all mopy and grumpy,” Niall told her. 

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. But he always gets like that when you’re not around.” 

This was news to YN, but she couldn’t say she was surprised. She often felt out of sorts when they were separated too, and after the way he had been treating her so sweetly recently... 

“He was so cranky I had to mess with him so of course I put a peeled banana in his pillowcase that night. Didn’t laugh as much as I had hoped but, it helped.”

YN laughed at the story, and she kept laughing as Niall told her about more pranks and jokes he had pulled on Harry and others. And because she couldn’t see the look in Harry’s eyes from across the room as he watched her laughing at Niall’s jokes, she thought everything was fine and dandy. She happened to be standing next to Niall during closing circle that evening, and while the arm around her waist wasn’t Harry’s, it was nice being supported by someone over the age of 12. When the song ended, the kids all started to hug each other goodnight, so naturally, YN gave Niall a quick hug and then sought out Harry who was on the other side of the room. 

YN was excited to get a moment to talk with Harry after being separated from him for most of the day, but as she approached him she saw a deep furrow in his brow. Her smile dropped quickly as she cocked her head to the side, questioning him.

“Why’re you so grumpy?” 

“Not grumpy,” he denied, voice deeper than usual. 

She smiled then, reaching up to push back a curl of his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. Grabbing his face lightly, she used her thumbs to try and smooth out the crinkle in his brow. His gaze softened a touch, but not as much as she had hoped. 

“Definitely grumpy about something...” 

He sighed. “Just... I mean just because we weren’t allowed to be together today doesn’t mean y’gotta be all over Niall, y’know?” he said softly so no one else could hear. 

At first, YN thought he was kidding and started to chuckle. But when his expression didn’t change she realized how serious he truly was. 

“Oh babe, I wasn’t all over Niall. He’s a nice friend, gives good hugs. No need to be jealous.” She used a gentle tone, hoping to soften him up a bit. 

“‘M not jealous,” he insisted. “It’s just...” he grabbed her hand and pulled her body closer to his, but still not as close as she knew he wanted. Whispering in her ear he finished his sentence, “You’re mine, ok?” 

“Course, H. We’re the dream team.” 

“No,” he shook his head. “We’ve always been the dream team, but now you’re really mine...”

“Oh.” She didn’t know how else to respond. The comment made her insides feel like melted marshmallows and the campfire that burnt them all at the same time. 

“I don’t like to share,” he admitted. 

YN stood there for a moment, thinking until a lightbulb went off. 

“You don’t have to share me, H. In fact... meet me by the parking lot again tonight. Think it’s a good night for our spot, yeah?” 

They agreed, and YN gave him a short kiss on the cheek goodbye, immediately blushing and looking around to see if anyone saw. She thought she might be in the clear, but just in case, she started brainstorming excuses. Harry could apparently see the gears rotating in her head because he cut off her thoughts.

“Tell them it’s a British thing - they won’t know any better.” 

And the line worked because the girls definitely had something to say when they were back in the cabin. They were so thoroughly convinced that YN and Harry were in love that the little one started asking things like “What’s the nicest thing he’s ever done for you?” and “Does he like to cuddle at night?” She brushed them off as usual, but it was getting harder every day to keep up the charade. Before they had gotten together it was annoying but fun to field their questions. But now? Now it was getting to be a bit of a struggle because camp rules required them to never find out the truth. 

She clicked the walkie-talkie three times as she headed out the door, and smiled when she heard three clicks in return. Practically skipping down the hill, she made her way to the parking lot where Harry was already waiting for her. Although this time she was hoping he had no alcohol with him. 

When they were still a few yards away from each other, YN couldn’t help but jog, jumping up into his open arms. She stood on her toes, arms around his neck, and kissed his lips eagerly. It was difficult, though, because both of them were smiling like teenagers. 

“Your hair looks nice,” she told him, dragging a hand through his locks after they separated their lips. 

“You’re only saying that because you want to get in my pants,” he teased.

She shrugged. “No, I think your hair looks nice and I wanna get in your pants.” 

He kissed her nose sweetly and then turned his attention away from her and back to the trunk of his car. 

“Listen I have a few things I thought we could bring with us...” he trailed off as he searched around in the endless dark void. 

“You are not drugging me up again, Styles,” she demanded.

“Don’t worry babe, wouldn’t even dream of it. I have... ah!” He looked proud of himself as he pulled out what looked to be an old blanket.

“Y’always get cold, even with a sweatshirt, so I thought we’d bring some blankets. And I knew you’d forget your water, so I brought some extra.”

“Take such good care of me, H.” 

They walked hand in hand down the path on the way to their old spot, recounting their days to one another. For the first time in a long time, they actually had new information for each other after spending some time apart. One of Harry’s boys might’ve sprained his ankle during sports time, causing a whole scene and refusing to go to the infirmary. And one of YN’s girls had gotten a crush on an older boy that she couldn’t stop talking about. Both of them, it turns out, had to field more questions than usual from their campers regarding their relationship. 

“Getting harder to convince them nothin’s happening,” Harry told her. “I think they see the way I look at you.” 

They reached their spot, the small stage in the middle of the clearing near the lake. Harry spread out one of the blankets he had brought and they laid down on it, on their backs so they could look up at the sky.

It was quiet, except for the rustling of the trees as the wind blew or the scurrying of a small animal a short distance away. She held his hand, interweaving their fingers as they settled into their peaceful surroundings. Even with all the other new fun things they were doing together, nothing would ever beat this - stargazing in their spot together. And for the first time in a long time, YN’s head wasn’t spinning with scenarios or ideas or questions. She was just content. Harry was with her, the stars were above her, and she was content. 

“After the summer, I think we should travel together,” he stated out of nowhere.

She laughed a bit. “Sure, H. You gonna pay for that on your amazing camp salary?” 

“I’ll find a way.” 

It was quiet again for a moment. 

“Can I wear your yellow sunglasses tomorrow?” she asked softly.

“Sure.” 

Another pause. 

“What do you think the stars would taste like?”

At first, she wasn’t sure if he was serious, but he asked the question softly so she considered it.

“Putting aside the fact that they’re like... fire or whatever...” they both giggled. “I think, like, metaphorically, they look like they taste like honey.” 

“Honey?”

“Yeah.” 

She didn’t explain. And he didn’t ask. 

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I like having you with me.”

“Always been here, babe. Was waiting for you to realize it.” 

She rolled over, then, to give him a quick kiss on the lips, though they were both smiling through it making it a bit difficult logistically. 

“I just wanna tell everyone that you’re mine,” he admitted quietly. 

“Everyone?” YN started. “I think you really just wanted to tell Niall today.” 

Harry laughed. “Yeah well... someone has to tell him eventually, hm?” 

“Tell him what, exactly?” she challenged. 

He looked at her with confusion. “That you’re mine?” His voice went up a bit at the end. 

“Is that a question? What... what does being ‘yours’ mean?” 

And he answered her question much like he did her question up on the cliff. 

“It means this-” He rolled over, kissing her deeply and bringing his hand up to rest on her jaw. 

YN wanted more answers, she wanted to get him to actually explain things for once. But more than that she wanted to keep feeling his lips on hers and his hands on her body. She would never get completely used to the feeling of kissing her best friend, but it was so good that the nerves faded away quickly. 

She reached to bring one hand up into his hair and the other one around his back. He rolled further on top of her, still hovering a bit but allowing their bodies to touch. She felt surrounded by him, and his smell, and the heat coming from his body. They were rolling around making out on an old blanket atop an abandoned stage, it was comfortable, and she never wanted the feeling to end. 

“Haven't... haven’t done much star g-gazing,” she stuttered between kisses. 

“Fuck the stars.” 

“Or you could fuck me.” 

He stopped then, backing his face away from hers so he could look into her eyes. Waiting a moment, he left ample space for her to take back her comment, to say it was a joke, to withdraw consent in any way. But she didn’t. She bit her lip, staring up at him like he was the entire universe, and silently begging him to do more. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, YN,” he replied breathlessly. 

“If I can’t finish, that’s on you.” 

He chuckled at her response before kissing her again, this time with more desire and urgency. Using his arms to support himself, he readjusted his legs so one was against her center, and started rolling his hips into her. She gasped into the kiss and he bit down on her lower lip lightly. 

Without stopping his movements, he whispered to her between breaths. “I think... you’ve always been mine... just didn’t know how... how to tell me.” 

And he wasn’t wrong in that assumption. She had always been his best friend, his default partner, his confidant, his dream team. And he was just as much hers, she just never realized that when he reminded her to drink water or gave her his sweatshirt it was because she had him utterly and completely whipped for her. 

“Tellin’ you now...” 

“Tell me then. Tell me you’re mine.” 

He practically growled at the last phrase, digging his hips into hers with more force and causing her to gasp again. Every bit of his body felt good, and she was only barely touching him. Her grasp in his hair got tighter, and her fingers curled in to grab at his shirt on his back. 

“Yours... I’m yours.”

“Fuck.” Harry hung his head low, trying to even out his breathing. “That’s by far the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me... I can’t... YN I can’t wait any longer. Gotta make you mine for real. Gotta... shit.” 

“You wanna fuck me?” she filled in for him. 

And again he groaned at her words. “Fuck yes, babe. I... shit I don’t have a...”

“It’s ok,” she cut him off. “I... I’ve got an IUD and I’m clean and you...”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m clean. Promise. Shit, you sure you’re ok with this?” he asked, giving her another opportunity to back out. 

But she didn’t need it. She was confident that she wanted this as she had never wanted anything else before. 

“I... yes Harry,” she told him. “Just...” 

His head snapped up to look at her when he sensed her hesitation. 

“Just haven’t done this in a while, so I might not be... I’m a bit rusty, ok?”

Harry gave a comforting chuckle.

“Baby, all you gotta do is lay there and look pretty. And you’re doing a damn good job at that. Doesn’t matter what you do, I think I’ve made it pretty clear I’m crazy for you.” 

YN wasn’t typically the most assertive in sexual situations, but in this case, she couldn’t wait any longer. She used her leverage on the back of his head to bring his face down closer to hers and continue kissing him, slipping her tongue between his lips until he opened up and allowed for the intrusion. Their tongues worked together, dancing and drawing shapes around each other furiously. 

Her grip in his hair tightened again and her hand on his back searched for anything to grab onto. He audibly groaned as she started scratching lightly at his skin. She used the opening to further explore his mouth with her tongue, silently begging him for more. 

“Gonna... gonna fuck you so good... make sure everyone knows... knows that you’re mine,” he said between breaths. 

“Yes,” she told him. “Yours... I’m yours... make me feel so good...” 

He groaned at that, her words clearly affecting him as he left his spot on her mouth and allowed himself to lick and suck at the tender spots on her neck instead. At first, she let out a disappointed whine at the loss of contact, but the disappointment quickly turned into pleasure when he bit down harshly on a soft spot right below her ear. 

Slowly, he continued a trail of kisses down her neck, to her chest. Her shirt was in his way and clearly frustrating him.

“Gonna take this off, ok?” he asked, pinching her shirt. 

She nodded and sat up a bit to help him lift the shirt over her arms. He had seen her without it many times now, but he still stopped for a moment to stare and appreciate her body in front of him. 

Mumbling to himself, she barely heard him say, “shit, y’so fucking beautiful... love y’body so much.” He said it quietly, clearly out of pure admiration. 

As she was about to beg him to move, he leaned back down and picked up right where he left off, leaving small, wet kisses to the tops of her breasts. He made his way down a little lower, pulling one of the cups of her bra down and biting down a bit harder just next to her nipple. She whined lightly, but he soothed the area with kisses and then leaned back to admire his work.

He had left a deep, pretty mark, not far from her nipple where it was sure to always be covered. She felt like he was claiming her, and it felt amazing. He continued kissing around the area, hands exploring her body, but he wasn’t moving fast enough. 

“Harry... please do something...” 

“I am doing something,” he teased. 

“Do more.” 

“What do you need, darling? Tell me.” 

She huffed, grip in his hair once again tightening until she heard him hiss against her skin in response to the pain. 

“Touch me,” she breathed. “Need you to touch me.” 

“I am touching you.” 

“No... touch me... here.” 

She took his hand and dragged it down her body to rest above her core. There was a heat swirling in her stomach, stronger than ever before. She could tell she was wet between her thighs and her body had never been more ready for him. 

“Shit, YN,” he groaned. “This mine too?”

She nodded her head.

“No. You gotta say it... say it and I’ll touch you.” 

“It’s yours.” 

“What is?”

“My...my...” in most situations, she hated the word that she knew he was trying to get her to say. But for the first time, she finally understood why it could be so hot because in this moment it was the only word that accurately described not only her body but the way she was feeling. “My pussy is yours.” 

And that’s where Harry just lost it. He moaned at her words, hanging his head between his shoulders for a moment to catch his thoughts and his breath, shaking his head. 

“The things you do to me...” he mumbled beneath his breath. He looked back up at her, “gonna take this off, ok?” he slipped his finger beneath the waistband of her pants. 

She nodded her head, and he got to work stripping her of her pants, then his own top layer of clothing until they were left in their underwear with a blanket draped over them. He kissed around the tops of her breasts before grabbing the other cup of her bra and pulling it down to match the other and expose her to him further. His tongue swirled around her nipple, hand pinching and pulling at the other one. 

“Harry,” she gasped between breaths. “Feels good but... want you... please.”

“I know baby, but you know how big I am. Gotta make sure you’re ready for me,” he told her between kisses. 

“I’m ready I promise I’m-” 

He cut her off with a desperate kiss to her mouth. As she caught her breath, he moved a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear. 

“Know you feel ready. Just want to make sure. Wanna make my girl feel good, yeah?” 

She nodded her head silently. Hearing him call her his girl did a number on her, and she felt it deep in her tummy. She was his, she had always been his, and she always wanted to be his. 

Harry trailed down her body, leaving a string of kisses in his wake. The moisture from his mouth mixed with the cold night air gave her the chills so she reached for a blanket, but Harry stopped her. 

“Take my sweatshirt, babe,” he whispered. “Wanna fuck you in my clothes.” 

YN was completely surrounded by all things Harry, then. His blankets, his sweatshirt, his mouth. It all smelled like him and she couldn’t keep from taking a big deep breath inside of the hooded jacket. His smell was so nice - had always been comforting but now even more so. She would buy candles of it if she could. 

Harry spread her legs wide, hands on her thighs and thumbs stroking over her skin gently as he looked at her. 

“Look at that...” he mumbled, mostly to himself. “So pretty... look at how wet you are, how swollen that clit is. Is that all for me?” He looked back up at YN, waiting for her to answer. 

She knew now that he needed to hear her words, so in addition to nodding she told him, “yes, all for you.” 

“Because this is my pussy, right?”

“Yes, H. Yours. It’s yours.” 

He couldn’t take it any longer and started working over her center with his mouth and his fingers. 

“Gonna... make you cum... before I fuck you... make you feel good... then make you... mine,” he told her in a low voice between licking and sucking and kissing on her folds. 

She let out an unconscious whimper at that. She knew he would make her feel good - he always did. But something about the way he said it this time made her eyes roll into the back of her head. In desperation, she wanted to respond to him, to hype him up and make him know how wonderful he was making her feel. But she couldn’t get the words out, whines and moans and groans taking their place.

“That’s right... good girl... let it out just like that...'' he encouraged her. “Geez, y’so fuckin’ wet for me.” 

With one hand he stroked her inside walls, driving her crazy, the other sitting firmly on the inside of her thigh to open her back up again every time she tried to close around his head. His hand was a warm and comforting presence on the cold and quiet night, and she let out a gentle sigh. Her sigh was cut off though, and turned into a bit of a squeal as he sucked harder on her clit, curling his fingers inside of her and hitting her best spot. His tongue lapped at her wet folds, hungrily taking everything she would give him. 

It didn’t take long - it never did with Harry. Compared to the other guys she had been with who never made her cum even once, Harry’s ability to do it so quickly and consistently blew her mind. He knew what he was doing before he even touched her, but then he took the time to learn her body too. Harry knew what she liked, what felt the best, what drove her over the edge. He knew which pulls of his hair meant she was feeling good and which meant that he needed to slow down and give her a break. He knew the way her body shuddered when the pressure was building, and he knew the way she tasted after that bubble burst. 

Usually, after she finished, he would kiss back up her body until he reached her mouth and whisper sweet things to her as she came down from her high. But this time, he kept working where he was. He was gentler on her sensitive nub, but his fingers moved faster. He spread her out, opening her up for him and adding in a third finger. YN gasped at that, one hand flying to her own chest and the other finding purchase in Harry’s hair again. 

“H... fuck... s’a lot... feels... a lot,” she told him from above. 

“I know darling,” he comforted her, removing his mouth and leaving careful kisses at the top of her thighs. “But m’cock is gonna be even more. You still want it, right?” 

He was giving her another out, an easy out, and wanted to make sure. They both knew that once you fuck your best friend, there’s no going back. But YN never wanted to go back. It didn’t even feel possible to go back. She just wanted him. And she told him as much. 

“H... make me yours... I want... I wanna be yours.”

Harry sat up on his knees then, one hand with fingers still inside of her and the other getting to work on his own briefs. His cock sprang free, hard as ever and practically leaking from the purple tip. YN’s eyes went straight to it, as they always did. She could never get herself to look away. He looked too pretty. And that pretty thing was about to be inside of her. 

She moaned his name, begging him to hurry up, and he got the message. Removing his fingers from her, he made a show of licking each one. He tapped her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, where he inserted his first two fingers. She closed around him and sucked lightly, tasting herself on his skin. 

“Fuck,” he groaned at the sight. 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m waiting for,” she teased back. 

He chuckled before hovering his body over hers and lining up his cock with her center. Slowly he dragged the tip up and down her folds until she let out another little whimper. 

“You want my cock?” he asked her. 

“Yes.” 

“Lemme hear you say it. Tell me what you want.” 

She took a breath. “Want... want your cock, Harry. Want to feel you inside of me. Want-”

He cut her off then as he entered her, entering her slowly and stretching her out. 

She let out little gasps as he went deeper.

“Good girl... know you can take me...” 

She couldn’t help but moan at his words, but her eyes were screwed shut. 

“Look at me, baby. Please...” Harry begged her softly, his words practically a whine. 

Opening her eyes, she gazed up at him like he hung the stars and the moon. But when he pushed in a little further she squeezed her eyes closed again, the feeling tight and the stretch a little tingly.

“S’really big, H.” 

“Relax, baby,” he whispered, kissing her forehead. “Gotta relax for me, let me in...” 

She let out a deep breath signally for him to continue until she was completely full of him. Waiting a moment, he gave her time to get used to his size, and he took a moment to get used to the feeling of her around him.

“Fuck baby, ‘slike you were made for me,” he whispered into her ear.

She whined at that, and he took it as a sign to start moving. He started slowly, both of them moaning at the feeling. Dropping his head down to her shoulder, he bit down lightly, causing her to gasp. Her hands came up to his hair and his back again and she held onto him like he was going to float away if she didn’t. 

“Feel so good,” he whispered. “So fuckin’ tight. So...fuck... so good... y’pussy feels like heaven. M’not gonna last very long.” 

“That’s ok, just... just keep going. You’re so big... stretching me... so deep... fuck... Harry, please.” 

She didn’t know what she was begging for, but she knew he would give it to her. And he did, as his hips started snapping against her harder and faster. Her moans and groans and gasps filled the air around them, but neither of them cared since they were far away enough from the rest of the camp. It was just them, under the stars, together. 

“Sound so pretty,” he mumbled between thrusts as she gasped and moaned into the night air. “Best sound in the world... wanna hear that... hear you all the fucking time,” he groaned. 

Harry reached down again then, rubbing her clit with his thumb as his thrusting continued. She accidentally held her breath, only releasing it when his lips met hers in a sloppy kiss. Their lips hardly even touched as they panted into each other's mouths, savoring the feeling and the moment they were having together. 

Her hands frantically searched for something to grab onto on his back, but upon finding nothing she resigned to digging her nails into him lightly. Apparently, that was the right decision, because his movements only sped up more. 

“Tell me how you feel,” he instructed her.

“So good... fuck H you feel... I can’t even...” she let out another gasp as his tip went deeper than ever before, and she felt his smirk against her own lips. 

“Too good for words, hm?”

She nodded her head in agreement. 

They were both trying to hold off for as long as possible, but with the days, weeks, and years of build-up, it was nearly impossible. Both of them knew it was going to be over soon, but neither of them wanted it to end. 

“Fuck... Harry,” she moaned again as he increased the pressure rubbing on her clit. Her body reacted to the change, contracting on his dick and making him see all the stars that were never there. 

“Think you can... can cum again?” he asked her. 

“I don’t... maybe but...” 

“Gonna make my girl cum again,” he stated, sure of himself. 

“Yes, yes I’m yours,” she cried out again, followed by a long whine as the head of his cock brushed against her g-spot. 

He lifted her legs then, her knees bending over his shoulders as he pushed into her again, the new angle giving him deeper access. From higher above her, he could see her breasts wiggling with the movement of her entire body. But she could tell he was looking mostly at the place where they connected, where it was wet and messy and amazing. 

“Mine,” he growled again. 

She nodded her head, unable to make any words come out of her mouth anymore. There was too much happening all at once. The pressure building in her lower stomach, her clit throbbing below Harry’s thumb, her walls being stretched by his length. It was so much, too much. 

“Too much,” she told him.

“Want me to stop?”

“NO!” 

“Then it’s not... not too much,” he concluded, never losing his pace.

“Gonna... soon... almost...” she still couldn’t get her words out, but he was able to decipher her message.

“It’s alright baby,” he whispered. “Cum for me. Want you to cum again for me. Then I’ll cum inside this pretty pussy... my pretty pussy... make you mine. All mine.” 

And she completely lost it at his words. Her back arched up and she pressed up into his warm chest. Her head rolled back as much as it could on the hard surface and her eyes squeezed closed as she felt tears starting to form at the edges of her vision. The feeling was white hot, like a star exploding somewhere in distant space, a mess to experience but beautiful to the viewer. 

So beautiful, in fact, that Harry let his own release go shortly after. He shot ropes and ropes of warm cum, filling her. His hips kept moving, thrusting slower but not giving up, even though he was through. She whimpered at the feeling, both of them fucked raw. When he was too sensitive and just couldn’t take it anymore, his hips eventually stilled. He kissed her neck and shoulder until he could catch his breath but made no move to slip out from inside of her. As they both caught their breaths, YN started rubbing Harry’s back lightly. He hummed at the feeling. 

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” 

“You never... you never answered my question?”

“Which question darling?” 

YN tried to think back, her mind still foggy from the two intense orgasms. 

“What do you mean when you say I’m yours?”

There was silence for a moment, their hearts beating in unison but still fast. Most if not all of his weight was on her, and his body was like a furnace keeping her warm. 

“Means I get to do that again.” 

“Will you still be my best friend?”

He laughed at that, before realizing she was serious.

“Of course, sweetheart. Always. Best friend, dream team, girlfriend. They aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“Girlfriend?” she asked, a cheerfulness in her voice. 

“Mhmm...if that’s... if you want that?”

“Yes!” she answered quickly. “Want it with you.” 

Harry smiled before kissing her lips lightly. She could see his pupils were still mostly blown out, although it might have been a reaction to the dark night around them illuminated only by the stars above, which they had stopped looking at ages ago. 

“Alright then,” he started. “Looks like we should probably get my girlfriend cleaned up and ready for bed, hm?” 

He made a move to change his position, to pull out of her and do what he had said, but she stopped him with a firm grip.

“Not yet, just... lemme stay like this for a couple more minutes.” 

MASTERLIST | PATREON | USS TAG | WRITING TAG

Deleted Scene - Campout Extra 1: Lemon Over Ice

#writing #uss #harry styles #harry #harry fanfic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry fanfiction #harry fan fiction #harry styles fan fiction #smut #harry smut #harry styles smut #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction #harry fan fic #harry styles fan fic #summer fanfic #yo

[blues824]

I know you have a lot of requests and you can ignore this in the trash if you feel like it, but can I request something for the overblot guys + Malleus of Twisted Wonderland with a Pokémon trainer Yuu who specializes in helping to rehabilitate rescued pokemons and even trained some to be like therapy/service pokemons?

Something like Riddle ends up bonding with a rescued springatito, who starts rubbing there paws to create an aroma to help Riddle calm down when he is angered. Or Malleus with a hisuian goodra that once was lost, just to give him a buddy so he feels less lonely.

Gender-neutral reader.

Riddle Rosehearts

Mans needs it desperately, and I think we can all agree. He might try to refuse the Pokémon at first, but he will come around

Since you are his significant other, he is more likely to listen to you out of anyone else (excluding the teachers)

He thought that your occupation was an admirable one, since taking care of animals is something his dorm specializes in

I feel like he would definitely need a Springatito to help him calm down when he gets super freaking angry. It would be better if you were there, though

Leona Kingscholar

He also needs therapy, just like all of the other overblot victims. He acts like he hates the Pokémon first, though.

But, there are a few times where he gets lonely in his bed, so he will take you up on your offer for a therapy Pokémon

For that reason, he could use a Snorlax. They both like to sleep, and the Pokémon is like a pillow, so it works out.

Unfortunately, the Snorlax does not replace you or your cuddles and warmth or your scent. Leona won’t ever tell you that, though

Azul Ashengrotto

This is a situation where he needs to see therapy as beneficial not only to himself but to the economy, the one that he contributes to by running the Lounge

However, it can be pretty stressful to be balancing school and work, so he needs a Pokemon that can help him relax at night

You can not tell me that he would not be vibing with a Jigglypuff. It would not only bring a soothing vibe to the Mostro Lounge, but Azul here can get an adequate amount of sleep

The only thing that could make it better was if you were there to cuddle with the very flustered cecaelia.

Jamil Viper

We all know that this man is stressed and stretched out to his complete capacity, even after his overblot.

If you were to give him an Evee, who has multiple different evolution forms, it will be a huge burden lifted off of his shoulders

Because not only can all of the Evee evolutions help him in a variety of different forms, Evee also offers companionship

Then, if you join in on helping him around Scarabia, it only sweetens the deal. Not only would he have his Pokémon pal, but also his significant other

Vil Schoenheit

He struggles with maintaining both his beauty and his reputation, and he feels as though no one understands how cutthroat this industry is

So, in order to make a therapeutic breakthrough with Vil, he needs a Pokemon that truly understands him

That’s why I’ve partnered with Milotic, because nothing is better than a humble and kind but also beautiful Pokémon

Not only does Milotic understand what he goes through in his rivalry with Neige, but he also has you to help him if he needs extra assistance.

Idia Shroud

This man’s struggle is shyness. He hates being around a single person that isn’t you; you are the only exception

However, you are not available all the time, so you proposed a Pokémon pal for him. It didn’t sound horrible, so he agreed.

You decided that a Shaymin would be perfect for Idia. The two get along so well, you would think that you’re irrelevant

A little sidenote: I chose Shaymin because it has a flower and it reminded me of the Greek Mythology of Hades and Persephone

Malleus Draconia

Last, but certainly not least, we have Malleus Draconia. The man is lonely, and that’s where y’all’s savior complex comes in

But, as the Ramshackle Prefect as well as a Pokémon caretaker, you don’t have a lot of time to just drop everything and hang out with the young prince

So, you offered to introduce him to one of your many Pokémon, and you decided that a Goodra would be the best fit

The three of you acted like a little family, with you as the leader because the others were emotionally attached to you.

#twst #twst x reader #twst wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst riddle #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle x reader #riddle #twst riddle rosehearts #twst riddle x reader #twst leona x reader #twst leona #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #twst leona kingscholar #leona #twst azul x reader #twst azul #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul #azul x reader #twst azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #twst jamil viper

[maraschinomerry]

Little Pink Heart

Pairings: Anthony Lockwood x fem!reader, implied Locklyle

Summary: following a fatal Ghost-Touch, Lockwood and reader must figure out how to manage love and life after death

Content: reader's death, ghost!reader, grief, angst, bittersweet, not a happy ending, established relationship

A/N: Please please be aware that this fic has some very heavy content, don't feel obliged to read if you could find it upsetting! That being said, this is as much about exploring the concept of Visitors' sentience that Jonathan Stroud introduced and building on what we saw with Annabel Ward as it is about the angst and the grief. This is dedicated to @bella-rose29 for mentioning the idea of ghost!reader and giving me inspiration (bonus angst: listen to Someone New by Freya Ridings while you read)

Word count: 4.9k (my longest fic yet!)

Taglist: @neewtmas @marinalor @ettadear @honey-with-tea (let me know if you want adding or removing!)

The click of the key echoed through the house as you opened the door. Dusk was falling, the fine mist that had settled tinted a soft blue. As much as you didn't want to go inside, you fancied staying out here less.

“Don't linger, darling,” your boyfriend, Anthony, murmured as he passed over the threshold. His hand slipped into yours and he led you in. The house was cold and dim in the fading light, and from the fine layer of dust and lack of personal effects it was clear that it hadn't been inhabited for some time. It was a shame that the owner, who had seemed like a nice enough young woman, had had to move out of her family home, but you couldn't help but be grateful. You and Anthony had only just got your licences, and with no links to any agencies nor desires to join them you'd decided to try and set up your own. That took time, though, and money, and though Anthony had a little equity in his house you'd agreed to take a couple of small, private cases to make up as much as you could. That was how you found yourself here, ready to earn a reasonable sum in exchange for eliminating a lone Type Two. A few jobs like this would help set you up nicely.

The kitchen was slightly warmer than the rest of the house, the west-facing windows having allowed in the last of the sun before it dipped behind the trees in the distance. Together you set up your kit bags on the table - you didn't have much: a few handmade salt bombs, filings and chains, a few flares only in case of emergency (they'd cost far too much to waste) and of course your rapiers. Lockwood pulled something extra from his bag, a small plastic-wrapped packet. Bourbon biscuits.

“You're the best,” you smiled as he opened the packet and offered one to you, which you bit into quickly.

“I know,” he grinned back, brushing a stray crumb from your lip. You blushed.

The owner of the house had provided a floor plan, but her account of the Visitor had been so inconsistent and vague that it was difficult to pinpoint a possible location for the Source. Anthony spread the roll of paper across the table, and you wrapped your arms around his waist, peering over his shoulder at the diagram. There were two floors and a basement, but the latter had been gutted a month ago ready for renovation so there was nothing in there at present.

“Let's start upstairs and work our way back down,” Anthony suggested. “More likely to find something in one of the bedrooms.”

“True, but it's a lot of wasted time if we don't. Why don't we split up and take a floor each?”

His expression soured, and he moved closer, taking your hand again and rubbing small anxious circles above your thumb. “That's smart, but I hate the idea of leaving you on your own.” Even when he didn't agree with your ideas, he always found a way to compliment them. Just one of the things that made you love him all the more.

You squeezed his hand reassuringly. “It won't be for long, and I'll call for you the moment I find anything suspicious.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” You leant forward and placed your lips delicately on his. He held you close, your hands on his chest, one of his on your waist and the other fidgeting with your necklace. It was one he'd bought for you, a small pink gemstone in a heart shape on a simple silver chain. His promise to always love and protect you. Not a day had gone by since that you didn't wear it. He nodded at last; he knew he would, he'd do anything you asked of him in a heartbeat. It still worried him not to be by your side, but he trusted that you were a good agent who could handle yourself and that you meant it when you said you'd call for him. His only condition was that if the Source was more likely to be upstairs, that would be where he'd look.

So it was that you found yourself, torch in one hand and the other on your rapier, exploring the ground floor. The silence was oppressive, seeping the confidence from you with every step. Not a ticking clock, not the creaking of the old building settling, not even the residual hum of electricity or plumbing, just the occasional thud from your boyfriend upstairs. Working quickly, you ruled out the dining room and bathroom. That left the lounge. The air smelled musty, and a shiver ran through you as you entered. That was never a good sign. You pulled out your thermometer and watched the temperature drop the further in you went.

“Anthony?” Your voice felt deafening against the quiet of the room, but you knew it hadn't been anywhere near loud enough to travel upstairs. No, this was silly, you could handle this. There were no signs of a spirit yet, for all you knew the change in temperature could be from the wind blowing down the chimney into the empty fireplace. You flicked the torch off, using your now free hand to hold your necklace, grounding yourself as you tuned in and listened. There was nothing at first. You wondered whether Anthony was having more luck upstairs; so far down here had been thoroughly useless. Maybe you should go and check on him. But then you heard it. A tragic, gut-wrenching wail, getting closer.

“Anthony?” you called again, louder this time but as steady as you could. There was movement above. He'd heard. So had the spirit, the wailing definitely nearby now. You pulled out your rapier.

The temperature plummeted.

A screech, so close you would have felt the breath on your neck had it come from a living being, made you whirl round. Your rapier clattered to the floor. Shit. Stay calm.

“Anthony!” you yelled, not caring how scared you sounded. His footsteps rattled down the stairs. He was so close.

You lunged towards your rapier.

The Visitor lunged towards you.

Lockwood was in the back bedroom when he heard his name. All his senses were immediately on high alert - you were the only person he allowed to call him Anthony, so he always reacted differently to his first name anyway, and under the circumstances hearing it immediately made him fear the worst.

“Y/n?” He crept out onto the landing, slowly pulling out his rapier and listening intently for any more noise. It was moments like these he was grateful not to be a Listener, he could focus on you and not the sounds of the house's history. He was only two steps onto the staircase when his name came again, louder and more panicked. Without a second thought he ran down the stairs, only holding back enough to make sure he didn't fall. His blood ran cold when he heard you scream.

You tried to both duck and spin as your hand came into contact with the hilt of your rapier. The blade sliced upwards, connecting with the Visitor, but it was too late. Its clawing grey hand clutched onto your shoulder moments before it disappeared. You screamed as tendrils of ice shot through you, radiating outwards from the spot. Through the fog of pain that had suddenly engulfed your brain you heard Anthony, close by now, yelling your name. You had to go to him. He'd know what to do. Everything would be okay.

You took one step, then another. Your torso was going numb, your entire arm having already fallen victim to the plasm which was turning your shoulder a violent shade of blue. One more step, and your legs gave out. You just about made out the silhouette of your boyfriend in the doorway, rushing towards you as you slumped to the ground.

“No, no, no, y/n!” Anthony's face swam into view, trying to mask his utter horror for your sake. “It's going to be okay, darling, I'll go and get help.”

The fingers of your good hand twitched towards his and he took it immediately, despite how cold it was. You struggled to focus on him through your tears, and noticed the same in his eyes. “Ant-” Your voice was failing fast.

“Shh, I've got you.” He cradled your head, his own tears mingling with yours on your cheek, but you could barely feel them. Almost everything was numb. The blue had spread across your chest, and the little pink heart stood out starkly against it. “I'm so sorry, my darling,” Lockwood said softly. He choked back a sob as he leant down, placing a kiss into your hair. You wanted to do the same, to speak to him, to do anything.

His face was the last thing you saw before everything went black.

—

You had no idea how much time had passed when your vision returned, a room slowly materialising in front of your eyes. It was a bedroom, filled with knick-knacks and bathed in a warm golden light. It looked familiar, but you hadn't been here when it went dark, you'd been… somewhere else. It was so hard to remember, but you knew there had been a dark, dusty room and a feeling of agonising cold. And a person. There'd been someone there, someone you needed to say something to. Now here you were, everything feeling so normal yet so bizarre; you were still you, still able to move and see and hear, but there was a disconnect between those sensations and reality. Nothing felt real. You looked around again, desperate for answers.

There.

Perched on the edge of the bed was a boy. His crisp white shirt was a stark contrast to his dishevelled dark hair, doleful brown eyes and the deep eyebags beneath. He looked exhausted, like he'd barely slept or eaten. There was something in his hand, balanced carefully on the tips of his fingers: a necklace, with a little pink heart. A spark of recognition bloomed in the back of your mind. That was your necklace. It was important. He had no right to be holding it. You drifted forward. The boy looked so familiar. Oh. The icy feeling rippled through your chest again, and you remembered. He'd been there when that feeling had taken over your body until you couldn't feel anything else. Rage boiled in your veins, and a snarl crept onto your face. But then, as quickly as it started, the anger subsided. He'd not caused it. He'd held you so gently, cried as everything faded. You knew him. You opened your mouth, finally ready to speak.

Lockwood stared at the tiny gemstone in his hand, unsure whether he wanted anything to happen this time. He'd secretly slipped it from you before DEPRAC had arrived, and spent the past few weeks periodically taking it out of the little silver-glass box in his bedside table. Part of him desperately wanted you to come back, to let him see you once more, but the other part knew it would hurt so much. What if you didn't recognise him and turned violent like so many Visitors? What if you didn't because you didn't recognise anything, just hung there as a shadow of your former self? What if you did, and he had to live with putting you back in the case and removing you from his life all over again?

The decision was made for him when a soft golden glow appeared in the corner of his bedroom. There you were. Tears welled in his eyes as the image of you sent him spiralling back to that day: your edges were a little fuzzy but everything else was the same, from your outfit to the scared look in your eye to the dark patch spreading from your shoulder. You looked at him now and he was relieved to watch you processing your surroundings. The person he knew was still in there, you weren't just a hollow shell. Suddenly you snarled and he flinched, fingers twitching towards the silver-glass case.

You moved closer.

You stopped.

Your face fell.

He watched the glimmer of recognition in your eyes, and the tears he'd been holding back spilled out along with all the things he'd wanted to say for months.

“Oh my darling, I'm so sorry. I should never have let this happen, I should have been there for you, and-”

He paused. You were mouthing something. Over and over. Your death loop, he presumed. God, just putting death in the same sentence as you stung.

“I'd give anything to be able to hear you right now,” he said, voice wavering. You stopped, giving him a sad look. The realisation that at the very least you could understand him, even if you couldn't communicate fully, hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Lockwood!” a boy's voice called from outside. You both looked at the door and your anger flared again. The boy on the bed shook his head.

“He's a friend,” he told you reassuringly, before calling back, “One minute, George!” You waited in the corner, puzzled. The boy, Lockwood (you knew that name, didn't you?), gave you an apologetic look. “I'm sorry, y/n, I've got to go. I'll explain soon, I promise.” He dropped the necklace into its little case and clicked it shut, and you watched the world dissolve.

—

You still weren't sure how much time had passed when you found yourself back in that bedroom, but it didn't feel like very long. The last rays of the sunset poked through the gaps around the drawn curtains, the room lit instead by a lamp on the bedside table. The boy, Lockwood, was sitting on the bed again holding your necklace, but this time he looked at you almost immediately. His hair was a little neater, his eyebags more pronounced.

“Hi,” he said quietly. “Sorry if I disturbed you, I don't… really know how this works.”

You knew he couldn't hear you, but you gave your message again anyway.

“Maybe I should see if George knows how to lip-read,” he chuckled wryly. The sound reminded you of home, wherever that was. Things were still hazy, but part of you had a feeling this was it. Here, with this boy. “Which reminds me,” he continued, “I did promise to tell you about him.”

You settled into the space in the corner, allowing Lockwood's low, gentle voice to wash over you. It was incredibly calming. George was his new housemate, he told you, who'd been living here for about a month. It was all very confusing - it had felt like both minutes and years had passed since you were last here and the same before that, but he explained that the other boy had moved into the house in mid-September, and the last time you'd been here was a week ago in late October. Where was all the time going?

“I have no idea whether you experience time when your Source is contained, whether you're aware of what's going on in between or remember things from last time,” he admitted. Source. You knew about those. They were what you'd been looking for that night in that dark old house. A spirit had been tied to it, and you had to seal the Source to get rid of it. But you'd failed and it had found you, and now… your chest tightened at both the memory and the realisation. Nothing felt real because you weren't. You were just a Visitor. You continued to listen numbly as Lockwood kept talking. Not much wonder he'd recoiled when you first appeared, he'd seen what the touch of a ghost had done to you and without knowing you'd almost inflicted the same fate. You vowed in that moment that no matter what, you'd never let that happen.

The next few months saw Lockwood getting you out every chance he got. Bit by bit, he helped restore your memories and did his best to accommodate you even though the two of you couldn't properly communicate. He set up a little daily tear-off calendar on his dresser so you could keep track of how long it had been between visits, and stored his kit bag in the bottom of his wardrobe so you could move more freely around the room. Eventually, you'd come to remember him more. Not just the events from the night you died, but him. Your boyfriend, Anthony. You wanted nothing more than to be close to him, to be a comforting presence, but you knew you couldn't. Not only because you couldn't touch, but because deep down you knew that as much as you treasured being able to keep him in your life (or rather, afterlife), you had to let him go sooner or later and he needed to do the same with you. He'd been followed around by grief since long before you met him, and you hated that you were adding to it. You were just glad to see him slowly improving week by week - his face was a little brighter, and it seemed George was making sure he stayed fed. You'd have to thank the other boy if you ever got chance. Anthony said the two of you would have got along if you'd met in life, and even now George's obsession with the Problem would have made him your biggest fan, but their friendship was too new and besides he wasn't a Listener either so you'd not be able to tell him anything.

“I've got something to show you,” Anthony announced as you materialised one sunny day in late spring. He sat down with a large pink folder and patted the space next to him on the bed. You tilted your head in confusion.

“Come on,” he sighed fondly, “you never had any sense of personal space before, don't start now. Just no hugging.”

You glowed a little brighter and drifted over, your legs disappearing into the mattress until your torso was level with his. Being careful where he positioned his arms, he angled the folder towards you. It was a photo album, labelled in handwriting you recognised as your own. Page by page, he took you through your memories, giving you time to linger on each one: you as a baby, then a toothy toddler with your first pet; your family and childhood friends; Polaroids of your first team in training to become agents. His hands trembled a little as he reached the next section. On the left were four photos: the team you'd transferred to, the one he'd been training with; a slightly blurry action shot of the two of you sparring for the first time; a goofy photo he'd taken of you cartwheeling down a grassy hill after a case; your team all proudly holding their Grade Four licences. On the other side, surrounded by two styles of hand-drawn hearts, was the two of you hugging on the steps of 35 Portland Row, Anthony's lips pressed in a smile against the top of your head. You remembered that sensation well, a frequent occurrence right up until the moment you died. The rest of the album was full of photos of the two of you, ones taken by others and candids you'd snapped of each other. You felt a pang of regret that you'd never get to take any more.

Anthony turned another page. Hold on. You knew for certain there were no more photos. You looked sideways at your boyfriend, and he gave you a bashful smile. Pasted across a double spread was a copy of a certificate from DEPRAC, confirming A.J. Lockwood & Co Investigators as a registered agency. Inspector Barnes, who you vaguely recalled meeting once or twice, had signed as the licensing authority. Anthony and George had put their names down as the founding members. But then underneath that, in Anthony's familiar hand, he had added an extra section. Honorary Member: y/n y/l/n.

He looked at you so lovingly. “We did it, darling.”

You would have reached for his hand if you could.

—

Weeks began to pass before Lockwood got you to visit again. He'd have spent every day with you, but business was good and he owed it to you to make a proper go of it. In the meantime, George talked incessantly about Visitors which gave Lockwood a chance to think about you. Each time he finally got to see you again he'd apologise profusely, and you'd repeat your death loop back to him. He tried so hard to figure out what you were saying - his Sight was good, you were as clear as day and he knew your every quirk and mannerism, but he just couldn't put the movements of your lips to the right sounds.

Everything changed the day he met Lucy Carlyle. From the moment she set foot in his living room, he felt like he was supposed to have met her. The feeling only grew when he gave her the interview tests - plenty of people had passed through, some with better Talents than others, but none had come even close to the Listening abilities of the girl before him. When she spoke of the gentleness she found in his uncle's pen-knife, he knew he had to hire her.

Lucy managed to defy even his high expectations on the Annabel Ward case. He kept his focus on the young woman's spirit hovering at the end of the corridor, rapier levelled in case the details of her aggressive nature were true, but he couldn't help but think of the first day he brought you back and how quickly you'd retreated and shown a level of sentience he'd never expected from a Visitor. Was this poor woman the same? Lucy's eyes were closed, listening intently.

“She's in pain,” she said softly.

“Of course she is, she's dead.”

“No, something's different.”

He was intrigued instantly. “What's different?”

She shushed him. “I can almost…”

Annabel launched forward, sending Lucy crashing through the wooden railing in her attempt to dodge the grasping hand. Déjà vu overwhelmed Lockwood, your pained eyes flashing across his mind as he staggered backwards.

No.

He'd already lived through this once and regretted the outcome every day since. Now was his chance to redeem himself. He sprang towards the ghost, fending her off with his rapier, pulling Lucy from her desperate grip on the picture frame as soon as the coast was clear.

“Did it touch you?” he asked in a panic as she clung to him.

“Course not, I'd be dead.” Didn't he know it. The more she explained how she'd connected with the spirit, the more sure he became. Later, when they experimented with Annabel's necklace and he listened to Lucy describe the scene in such detail, he knew for certain.

“He loves me. You love me, don't you?” Her hand stroked delicately across his cheek, and he fought the urge to lean into the touch. For that brief moment, he could pretend it was you, still with him, saying those words. Perhaps with Lucy's help, it could be.

—

It had been a while. The trees outside Anthony's window were tinted a beautiful copper. You couldn't wait to hear his updates this time.

“There's a sadness, but so much love too. She feels very kind.” That wasn't Anthony's voice. Something was wrong. There was a girl sitting beside him on the bed, holding a little pink heart on a chain. Your necklace. You grew defensive, preparing to strike.

The boy looked up and saw you glaring. “It's okay, darling.” The girl followed his gaze. “Lucy, this is y/n, my late girlfriend. Y/n, this is our new associate, Lucy. She's a Listener.” Ah. Finally. You settled back down and took in the girl properly. She was pretty, with a warm brunette bob and a blue jumper which made her eyes pop. She smiled up at you, a genuine friendly smile.

“Nice to meet you,” she said sweetly. Anthony gave her an encouraging nod. You noticed that he seemed a little nervous, but there was also a calmness to him that had been missing for the past year. If that was Lucy's influence, then she was alright in your eyes.

Anthony spoke to you again. “She's brilliant, connected with a Visitor on our last case and I thought maybe she could finally help us figure out what you've been trying to say.” You nodded in agreement, and the girl closed her hand around the necklace.

You weren't sure whether you were in Lucy's head or whether she was in yours. The two of you blended into one as she ventured into your memories. Anthony's room melted away around you, sending you back to that cold dark room. You bristled.

“It's a bit different having her in the room with us,” Lucy murmured, eyes closed. “Let me know if either of you need me to stop.”

Anthony glanced at you, flickering slightly but still present and unagitated. “We're okay, go on.”

Meticulously, she described what you were both experiencing, or in your case reliving. It was hard knowing you were getting closer to the agony all over again, but it was important for your boyfriend to finally have a chance for answers and closure, so you kept the inevitable moving along.

“Anthony?” Lucy said softly, the same way you had. By the look on his face, it seemed he was realising now what you had at the time - that you'd tried to call him and hadn't been loud enough, that if only you'd tried again straight away, maybe you'd still be alive. “Anthony?” she called again. “Anthony!” You heard your own scream echo in your mind, felt the cold grasping your shoulder. The boy reached out and gripped Lucy's free hand, never taking his eyes off you. The gesture was supportive for her, but meant for you too. A tear rolled down his cheek. Lucy's breathing was shallow.

“It hurts,” she gasped, “and she's scared.”

“I should have been there quicker.” His voice was shaking with emotion, barely able to get the words out.

“No, there's no anger. She knew you were coming, and having you there through the end was a comfort.”

Anthony swallowed thickly. “Her death loop. Can you hear it?”

She opened her eyes and watched you as you spoke, the words spilling from her lips a second after.

“It's okay. It's not your fault.”

The boy broke down, his sobs rattling through the small room. Lucy held out her arms and he folded into them. She threw you an apologetic glance, and you said it again to her. “It's okay. It's not your fault.”

They were still hugging when, with his and your permission, Lucy gently slipped your necklace back into its case.

—

Now that the secret was out, you really did become an honorary member of the agency. Sure, you couldn't exactly contribute to the cases, but other than that the whole team treated you as one of their own. Anthony always waited for your opinion on big decisions, which you could make quite apparent with how happy or angry your energy was. George was absolutely fascinated by you, and took every opportunity to quiz the others on your awareness of various things and how you reacted to his experiments. Lucy often got you out on her own to have another girl to talk to. In return, of course, she'd fill you in on any gossip they came across or funny things that happened on cases that the boys were too embarrassed to tell you about. Through it all, you watched the three of them grow into a little family. Anthony and Lucy especially had clicked with each other; they reminded you of how you and he had been. That realisation filled you with a mixture of relief and melancholy. You loved Anthony so much, all you wanted was for him to be happy, but you'd be lying if you didn't wish it was you putting the light back in his eyes.

He sat you down shortly after New Year. His face was sombre but hopeful, and he fidgeted with his ring. Part of you could already tell what was coming.

“I don't really know how to say this,” he began hesitantly, “but after everything we've been through, you deserve to hear it.” You waited patiently for him to find the words he needed. Really, you had all the time in the world.

After a few moments, he spoke again. “I promised to always love you, and I will still keep that promise until the day I die…” But. There had to be a but. “...but I really care about Lucy too, and I just-” He didn't need to finish the sentence. And technically he was single. And he stood a chance of having a life with her. And she wasn't going to keep him tied to his past and his grief.

“It's okay.” Now he knew what your death loop was, he could tell what you'd said, and the way you'd limited it to just those words was a reminder of how remarkably well you understood everything that was happening. How you were as close to being a person as you could be, how it wasn't close enough.

“Promise?”

You touched the hollow of your neck, where the outline of a little sparkling heart sat against the darkness.

He nodded in understanding and reached for the silver-glass case. “Thank you, darling.”

“It's okay.”

It's not your fault.

#lockwood & co #anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood #fem!reader #ghost!reader #angst #lockwood and co fic

[saturnbellfromhell]

SATURNIAN ENERGY

I'm really exited for this post, since it hits close to home! Other than being a Capricorn sun, my moon is also ruled by Saturn and Saturn is the second master in my 1 House. So, me and Saturn have known each other for some time and established a love-hate relationship. It can be quite hard with prominent Saturn placements, but you have to learn from your mistakes and accept many life challenges, because they will mold you into a resilient individual in my eyes.

⬛ Saturn, the last planet one's naked eye can reach in the night. In ancient Rome Saturn was the God of generation, time, abundance and wealth, also being called "the God of time".

In my heart,Saturn is the strict father of the planets. His energy is very dark, ancient, wise, patient with a sprinkle of misery and a good coming of age tale. He seems like he wants to step on you, make your eyes tear up...but he knows why he's doing such. He has witnessed all of this sorrow and wants patient thinkers above all. No daydreamers nor hot-headed individuals in his books.

⬛Many times Saturn breeds lonely individuals. One's who's life path is better without extra baggage.

⬛He really inbodies authority, maturity, boundaries, responsibility, discipline, wisdom, patience, karma, higher thinking and challenges.

⬛ It can be seen as the "boring" planet, since it's energy is so mature, but nevertheless Saturnian energy is extremely powerful.

⬛The lesson is very simple...there is no negotiating with Saturn. No crybabying, no remorse. His cruelty is a lesson to be seen in a positive light. The faster you change your habits, except rough times and be thankful for them...Saturn will charish you with light and knowledge! Also having many Saturn placements means anyone who will double cross you, will get their karma. So not all is dark, not all is bad, not all is ploting against you.

⬛ Saturn rules feminine Capricorn and masculine Aquarius, even though Aquarius is also ruled by Uranus, but I like looking at the duality of the two signs.

⬛ Capricorns are traditional in a sense. They are the grounded grandmother of the signs. With years of downfall and a gaurded attitude they can seem cold hearted. That is farthest from the truth, they are just extremely picky with people they surround themselves. The love language they speak is gift giving/receiving, even though I look at Capricorns as the sugar daddies of the zodiac. They are so in infatuated with working hard to spoil their loved one's. Yes, they are hard working most of the time, yes they can be lonely wolves, yes they can be man/woman eaters. The biggest issue I see with Capricorns is how they perceive themselves as unworthy most of the times, even though they are highly independent. Another note to my fellow sea goats is to not be so vengeful and prideful. Not everything is money and assests, enjoy your family, friends and partner.

⬛ On the other side we have the dizzy Aquarius. The non traditional air sign, clawing away their emotions to seem aloof and careless. But deep inside they really care, but mask it with their amazing sarcasm and humor. Aquarian energy is very humanitarian. They unlike Capricorn have a collective energy. They mold themselves to fit into any group setting. The chameleons of the zodiac. Always trying new things, traveling, meeting new people. They really never stop to think deep, that's where the issue lays.

⬛ So the difference in Saturn's teaching for both the signs are:

〰️Capricorns should release themselves from tradition and try new things to climb higher. They should stop being so stubborn and try to listen.

〰️Aqurians should try more traditional aspects, try solitude for a change. They need more patience.

That's why I've seen a lot of bitterness between the two signs, they are fallen sisters, but always butt heads. It is hard for a serious earth sign to communicate his deep feelings to an intellectual air sign and vice versa. They are so alike, but also so different!

⬛ Also Saturn rules the 10th house or the MC, meaning Medium Coeli or so called your "Midheaven". It rests at the top of your chart and represents career choice, publicity, the workplace, your public persona, status, reputation and sense of responsibility.

Some observations about Saturn placements/aspects:

〰️ Having Saturn in any house means that wisdom in that department will come later in life. For example if you have Saturn in your 7th house, marriage will come a bit later in life. You will have nasty relationships, but at the end you will never settle down with a dusty partner, knowing damn well how that goes. Another example is Saturn in the 1st house, you can struggle a lot with self acceptance and confidence, but it will all get better after maturing. The Last example is Saturn in the 9th house, you maybe will not succeed in greater education at an early age, or you might not travel long distance until your 30s/40s.

〰️ Saturn hard aspects (square, opposition) any planets means the same thing. They are challenges you need to conquer. Ex. Mercury square Saturn, this can mean you have a hard time communicating with yourself and others. Also writing can be quite difficult for you at times. Don't worry, it will come with age and some practice :)

〰️ Saturn in the 1st house can mean you always had to pick yourself up as a child. Too independent, lost a lot of fun years because of it. Also, if Jupiter or Saturn or both are in the 1st house, this means you have a lot of masculine energy. Embrace it, be a father figure to yourself or to others.

〰️ Cap Venuses can be very tricky. Bringing Saturian energy into a house ruled by Venus, the fiery planet of love and romance can be difficult. They need a long time to find their true lovers. Can be very cold and bossy towards partners. But a little secret, since Caps are very dominant, Cap Venuses like a dominant partner at times, passionately dominate. No degrading kinks and such. They love thigh touching and back rubs. You have to be extremely smart or a businessman. No rusty dusty partners over here. Also buy them a gift, doesn't have to be expensive, just very thoughtful.

〰️ Saturn in the 12th house can bring a lot of challenges into your spiritual life.

〰️ Capricorn Mars, especially men are so attractive to me. They are kind of intimidating in a way, but take action so calm. They know what/how to do it. Just a little bit of advice, try to be the listener sometimes!

〰️ Cap in the 10 house means business, and l a lot of it. They don't mess around with anybody that's lower than them. They also have ideas that they think about for years, trying to perfect them.

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