#i think thats why i feel so comfortable with my family. they know my behaviour and dont take anything too seriously. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilssea · 7 months

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people tend to compare SandRay and BostonNick as they have the same situation when first all:

- Nick and Boston had a friends with benefits situation where Boston put at the first some “boundaries” but then he completely ignored them; Nick, because of Boston behaviour and obvious attraction, fall for Boston. (oh, and lets not forget how they met because…the photo? the hookup in the back of the store?)

- Sand and Ray had a strange power dynamic at first and then it changed as some kind of friends (plus their sleeping together so like kinda friends with benefits) meanwhile Sand became more and more attached to Ray with the progress of his feelings.

The most important things is between the two couple is: Sand has always been vocal about what Ray did was wrong or what he didn’t like meanwhile Nick didn’t much do anything because of Boston mixing signal (and manipulation)

They started all their relationships on a hookup in the back of the store after the selfie Nick took on Ton’s phone for letting him know that he was there and ready for it. They tried to set boundaries and they literally didn’t even followed them. Of course, after some time (literally none) Nick fell for Boston; and obviously he wanted more than a just mere fwb situation.

Nick literally thinks he’s gonna be with Boston and he even accepted the fact Boston slept with Top. He is “okay” with it and its even “okay” for him be abandoned by Boston for some random shit.

like?? the party?? Where Boston literally told Nick to go back home by himself? Only because he wants to fuck Top??

And lets be honest who sane in his mind would actually be okay with their own crush or situationship whatever fucking around especially having something with someone who his crush has a past with it

To be honest im not saying that Nick doesn’t have his own faults because the recording? the most disturbing thing ever. I’m not condoning revenge porn. But at first you can see that Nick is trying to be just fwb with Boston, no feeling etc but Ton always used some kind word and gesture that made Nick fell for him; thinking he was even special (maybe he is/was we still dont actually know but tbh i dont think so).

one of the examples that i can say is the photo they took together when they “meet” Drake’s character (who i dont even remember the name sorry not sorry) when at first Ton doesnt want to have any proof of him be with Nick in any kind of way because of his father.

or every time Boston told Nick how special he was and how maybe “one day” they would be something more just for letting Nick be calm in this kind of relationship-ish they have.

And we even know that Boston cant take a no as an answer (like the scene in the shower with Top? horrible). He knows what he wants, who he wants and doesn’t care anything if it’s not something for him. He knows his own value and how easy he can have someone else because thats what he does. Even if does mean to destroy your own friendship (for some dick)

oh and Boston doesnt like losing what he thinks its his own like Top (as we talk about his hookups) or his comfortable zone (his group of friends).

Meanwhile Ray and Sand are polar opposite of BostonNick because the relationship between Ray and Sand started as a “job” where Sand was literally paid for driving Ray at home and just spending some time with him because Ray felt alone and miserable with himself.

Yes, at the end they slept together (plus the little thing they did in the car before Mew called) but they started their friendship after that where you see both of them talking about their family, trauma and why Saund doesnt like Top. oh, lets not forget the fact Saund literally took Ray to see his mom (technically not really but they do meet and spoke a little bit).

examples: Sand talking to Ray after the car thing saying how he felt and didnt like the feeling of being left by Ray in that kind of situation (which im with Ray because if my friends call me drunk in needing of help ill drop anything for them)

the talking about Sand’s nonexistent dad and Ray’s mom/ relationship he has with his father after his mother’s death

Ray’s alcoholism’s and how he would literally die if he doesn’t stop of doing his own sabotage.

or the time where Sand literally screamed at Ray because he doesn’t want the money anymore because he genuinely care about him now

literally the part where Ray is drunk and driving the car and Sand is following and the all scene in the hospital.

you can see in the hospital scene is concern but he actually act like a friend because he has feelings but he is truly trying to protect himself from it and trying of be there for Ray after the shitty night they had.

oh and the fact: Sand KNOWS about Ray’s crush on Mew. Of course, its not like Ray told him first (thanks Boston) but they spoke about it.

certainly Sand and Nick both fell in love but Boston is not emotionally available because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship and having a something with someone who is so much easy to get; meanwhile Ray cant just flip his feelings for Mew but you can see he sees Sand in another kind of way. He values Sand and try new things with him or just be around Sand environment instead of be alone or be drunk.

Both Nick and Sand receive different way of be treated both in acting and speaking with their own crushes; because at the end they are two completely different dynamics of relationships and way of thinking and communicating things or just coping with it.

#only friends sand #onlyfriends nick #only friends ray #only friends boston #only friends the series #thoughts #rant #onlyfriends rant

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intheclowncar · 10 months

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Colleen Ballinger's recent video script with the nonsense removed!

anything crossed out is either nonsense that had to be left in for it to make any sense, is nonsense but wouldn't be fair to remove it or just straight up didn't happen,, like her "taking accountability" I didn't change the wording of any of her sentences and the original script was found on reddit so if there are any mistakes don't blame me D:

"Hi. It's been a while since you saw my face. I haven't been doing so great, so I took a little break. A lot of people are saying some things about me that aren't true, misinformation.

one-way ticket to manipulation station. Harass me for my past. Rumours look like facts

I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things, even though my team has strongly advised me not to.

Today I only want to talk about the facts

Many years ago I used to message my fans, but not in a creepy way like a lot of you are trying to suggest, it was more of a loser kind of way but I was just trying to be besties with everybody. it was weird.

I've been sharing my life online for over 15 years I've poured my heart out to you and because of that I feel like I'm talking to my friends but in the beginning of my career I didn't really understand that maybe there should be some boundaries.

There were times in the DMS when I would share details of my life, which was really weird of me. I haven't done for in years, because I changed my behaviour and I took accountability.

fueled with hateful accusations. Steamrolling all over someone's reputation

In all seriousness, I do think it's really important to hold people accountable for their mistakes you know we should hope that everyone can learn from their mistakes and grow and change their behaviour and be a better person. This is something that I've always tried to do when I make mistakes. It's something that I will continue to try to do...

your goal is to ruin the life of the person you despise while you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise

I know you wanted me to say that I was 100% in the wrong. Well I'm not gonna take that route of admitting to lies and rumors that you made up for clout.

your Weapon Is your fingers on the keys. you can hide behind a screen

Miranda Sings, she's PG-13 it says that on my website and it's always been that way and that's why you won't find my videos on the YouTube kids app anyway. I didn't realize it was my responsibility to decide what was appropriate for every kid to see. I've always relied on parents to decide if they're comfortable, with their families watching my YouTube videos or coming to my live shows.

Have I made some jokes in poor taste? yes. Have I made lots of dumb mistakes? yes.

am I sad that there are some fans who feel betrayed? yes.

Was my intention to manipulate? No.

I'm not a groomer. (im just a loser) who didn't understand I shouldn't respond to fans and I'm not a predator, So even though I know this video won't change anyone's mind about me I still felt it was important to come on here and defend myself a little and take accountability. And I also wanted to say that to anyone out there who has ever supported me, in any capacity, I really really appreciate you. thank you.

For what it's worth, I never had any bad intentions but I do feel like shit.

Sometimes people make a mistake..But what do I know? Fuck me, right?"

AND THATS IT,,, THATS THE WHOLE SCRIPT,,, THATS ALL SHE SAID

#colleen ballinger

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itsthehcgforme · 1 year

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hi all! happy Saturday! Other than keeping busy with work, I’ve been spending a lot of time meditating on the concept of home. I’m almost amazed at how perfectly these reflections have lined up with the full moon in cancer. But then again, I can’t actually be surprised. Haha. Lately, I’ve been sitting in what I’m going to name guilt. I’ve moved cities, and back in with my mom after about 5 years of not living together, and 3 years of being on no-contact terms, and that’s come with it’s own set of challenges. My relationship with my mother has been pretty damaging, as I’ve written about in earlier entries. So, moving back in with her wasn’t an easy decision to make, on both of our parts. With growing up, I’m understanding more and more that your parents do fuck you up, fuck you over and leave you with deep, deep wounds - but, it’ll be entirely your responsibility whether you decide to stay wounded, or if you’d like to take the time, energy and care to bring yourself back to health and happiness. I’m growing into the understanding that Health isn’t necessarily a life where you’ve healed and sealed your wounds shut and return back to who you were before the hurt. Sometimes health looks like finding healthy ways to co-exist or cope with the wounds you have, learning to love them and moving on with your life. So, with all of that being said. Lately, I’ve been feeling these intense moments of being brought back to 8-year old Danielle. Danielle who stayed hidden in her room, who flinches when she hears keys at the door. Who is hypervigillant when she hears a draw or cupboard close a certain way. Who feels like she’s in trouble every time she experiences joy. Who shuts down when she’s hurt by a comment. Who hides away because she doesn’t have the capacity to be an anchor. It’s been slowly, slowly coming back. The thing is, none of these behaviours just happened. This is how I learned how to keep myself safe. Dealing with my mom growing up has forced me into certain behaviours that I still very much recognize as self-soothing things I do today, and I’ve felt extremely guilty about them coming up now. Then there's the part of me that feels guilty for being guilty. Let me explain. My parents are in the middle of a separation. So, my mom has been feeling extremely fragile and has been looking to me for love, comfort and support. I think that there’s apart of her thats been really looking forward to reconnecting and having that best-friend type of mother-daughter bond that we’ve never had, now that she’s pretty much on her own, she’s been working double time to wiggle her way into my life. And with every ounce of honesty in my being, I can say for certain that I don’t have any of that to give to her. Not in the energy of karmic justice of sorts, but genuinely because she’s still the same person who hurt me, the person who has done work for a week and then revers back into her habits that hurt. I don’t know how to be what she needs, I have no interest in being what she needs. But, this is the bed that she’s made. Why do I feel like I’m to blame because she has to lie in it now? With the time I spent living with my family, I’ve had to build a home inwards. Inwards, is where I can express my deepest feelings and desires, without being scolded or judged for it. I can sing at the top of my lungs without being told that I’m making noise. I can make music without being hit for being “disruptive after a long day at work”. I can have a piece of bread without being told that I’m greedy. I can make a mess without being called nasty. I can have an opinion without being told that I need to pack up my things and go. I can walk around naked, or with little clothes without being told that I’m tempting my father. I can daydream about love, and community and travel and the possibilities with the hopes that one day I can reach them, without being told I’m a lost cause. So now, I stay inwards. So now, my door stays closed, so that my heart can beam open. I’ve made a space for myself so unconditional and so sacred, so full of honour and love. I have no desire to compromise that, and I have no intention of letting anyone in that space that has shown me that time and time again they cannot and will not respect it. The home and family I’ve built for myself, within the last couple of months especially, have been so extremely special to me. Ironically, as soon as I left the city, I’ve cultivated the most beautiful friendships back in the city, the type that I’ve been praying for, ever since I realized that I couldn’t cultivate the family I needed at with blood. So, I visit Toronto every week, if not, every other week to see the family that I’ve chosen, who choose me in return. I will go where the love is, always. I have no desire to be at the apartment with my mom, but if I am, I’m in my safe space. That’s where the love is. I’ve been submerged in this foreign energy with my friends that have me dreaming again, that have me looking forward again, that have me excited about the possibilities, and the present again. I feel so lucky and so incredibly abundant and supported and seen and recognized. I feel guilty that I can’t share that with my mom, I feel guilty that I have no desire to share that with my mom. But I guess I’m learning to be okay with that. xox

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sakinotfound · 2 years

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can i request kakashi x little reader fluff and how he would take care of them? if thats okay ofc! (gn/female reader)

Kakashi Hatake x Little!Reader

Pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Little!Reader

Genre: pure fluff

Synopsis: Kakashi and your life with one another as a small cute family.

Warnings: None. Sorry if there are any typos, I try to remove them but sometimes I miss out.

A/N: Hello Akira! Thank you so much for the follow and for sending this request. It was lovely and I had fun writing about this. I really hope this is what you wanted and that you as well as other readers liked it. If you wanted something else, let me know! I'll try my best. Requests are open so send in what you want to read! This was my first ask hehehe *happy excited noises* :)

If we're talking about jōnin Kakashi, well, doesn't he already have three little babies? Why do you want to put him through much worse?😭 JK JK

Kakashi having to take care of a child a.k.a. you would be good for you but maybe not so much for him lol, at first.

Don't get me wrong, he doesn't hate you but at first it's going to be a task. Either assigned by the Hokage or he himself took the duty on himself. Either way it's going to be a task. Taking care of a child is no kid's game.

The thing with you is, you are a child not a baby. So it can be both - a good and a bad thing. Lemme explain.

If you're a curious kid and always ask questions which is a good thing! Kakashi would sometimes get overwhelmed. Like you are a kid, how much does that little brain of yours think anyways?

But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact when you ask him questions even he isn't able to answer he feels oddly proud of you.

Also he also tries to indulge you in intellectual debates! Nothing too serious or traumatising for a kid, no. He doesn't want you to deal with stuff he had to go through.

He thinks it's a good way to stimulate your brain in a positive way. It would help your brain grow and develop cognitive abilities as well as make you a critical thinker.

Okay so at first Kakashi is going to be very… robotic with you. I mean he is going to make a list of what all you would need and make sure it's all done on time and perfectly. That you are content.

But then when you finally start to grow on him and he realises that as a child, apart from materialistic things and daily needs, you also deserve and need affection.

Hahahahaha Kakashi sweat drops real hard at that. Kakashi be like: "IKWYZVEGS HOW TO AFFECTION? BABY NEED LOVE WHAT DO I DO? SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP!"

JK. It isn't that bad. He isn't as stone hard as you think. I mean after Team 7, he is much better.

He would start slowly and carefully. He doesn't want to overstep any boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable around him. Of course it took time for you to trust Kakashi and be comfortable in his presence. So he doesn't want to ruin what you both had worked so hard on.

At first you would be slightly confused at his changed behaviour all of a sudden but you wouldn't stop him. It feels nice. You liked it. So you would let him do it and show it back too.

Slowly and gradually, with both of you working hard on improving your relationship with one another, it would be a very wholesome relationship.

It's your wish if you see Kakashi as a father figure, an older brother or just a very close and amazing guardian.

You trust and respect Kakashi a lot! Even though Kakashi has low self-esteem and doesn't think that highly of himself, your opinions on him are the exact opposite. You want to be exactly like him!

He is brave and strong. He is nice, kind and polite. He is smart and good at quick thinking. And he is an outstanding shinobi. How can someone not like him? He's so cool!

So when you first saw Kashi reading a book you wanted to start reading too. It doesn't matter if you had an interest in reading before or not, now you do even more. You copy him a lot. So you started reading too. Of course not porn but children friendly books.

When you were small, Kakashi would sometimes read you books at bedtime and then you would fall asleep. Now you both sit quietly in the living room or in a training ground with a book in both of your hands and just read. In between you would call him though to ask the meaning of some words or their pronunciation if they are too big.

One of your favourite times is when Kakashi takes you grocery shopping. Weird right? What's fun about grocery shopping?

Well Kakashi does most of the shopping but when he takes you it's because both of you are going to make something special for dinner.

Before you, Kakashi just used to cook basic things and live with it. He didn't care much. He just made sure it was healthy with a balanced diet because he was a working shinobi.

Now though, he likes to, he wants to make different things for the both of you because he thinks you are gonna like it. Sometimes it's healthy, sometimes not so much. Kakashi is very strict about your nutrient intake and healthy diet, keep that in mind. But hey, you can have some cheat days right?

So when you guys go shopping, you are bouncing and prancing around happily looking everywhere with big curious eyes. There's a huge smile on your face and honestly Kakashi feels his heart melt at your cute little face. He sometimes chuckles to himself or shakes his head at your childish antics but you are a child, so that's how you are supposed to be.

Children in Narutoverse don't really get a chance to be kids, well he most definitely didn't. So trust me when I tell you, he feels very happy seeing you act like a child. He wouldn't dare let anyone take it from you. He feels kind of envious that he didn't get that and that makes his goal to protect your innocence even stronger.

Yeah so I was talking about shopping. So after you come back with all the required ingredients as well as small things you asked to buy him here and there which he first denied but then you gave him puppy dog eyes, you guys start with the cooking/baking.

Oftentimes things don't work out and you both make a mess but there are times when you both work in silence and peace. It's a very smooth process. You two work very well together.

When you shop together, you cook together and Kakashi asks you to join him because he wants to teach you things when he isn't there to help you. Of course when he leaves on missions he asks his friends to take care of you but still. He is a firm believer in learning to do everything on your own. It had helped him throughout his life.

Some nights, you hear a scream from Kakashi's room which jolts you awake. You rush to his room only to find him huddled on the bed, legs pressed to his chest and head between his knees. He is whispering soothing words to himself and his position is acting as a hug from himself to himself. Honestly that breaks your heart. Something stabs you right in the chest. You realize for the first time, that the man who has always been so strong and fearless for you, cries to himself at night in the privacy of th four walls where no one can see him. Sure you live with him now but before you, he used to cry himself to sleep. And that just wasn't acceptable to you.

So you slowly crawl up to his bed, slightly tap him so as to not scare him and then place yourself on his lap. Arms wrapping around his waist, you hug him tightly.

You are just a kid. You can't do much. But you know how good it used to feel when Kashi would hold you close to him and whisper soothing words to you. You would just sleep listening to his heartbeat and his fingers in your hair.

"It's okay, Kakashi-san. You are okay. You are in your room and you are safe here." You whisper.

"It's not me I am worried about, little one." He finally speaks, sadly smiling down at you.

You look up and ask him what the nightmare was about. And he just shakes his head, not wanting you to know the gruesome things he has done and seen.

So instead you tell him something. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me. But I just want to tell you that I find you really cool. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You are really very strong. I respect you a lot and I am thankful for having you in my life. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I love you a lot Kakashi-san."

He is speechless for a moment. He doesn't know how to respond to all the things you just said. It had been so long he heard those words though. Yeah, the last sentence struck him hard. It reminded him of when his dad used to say that to him as a child. And then he…

Tears start forming in his eyes and his shoulders start shaking. "I love you too kiddo. I love you a lot."

You both just lay in bed for sometime. He wipes his tears and asks you to go to sleep now. It was late.

"Can I sleep here with you? If it doesn't bother you of course."

"Sure." He ruffles your hair and smiles. That crinkle-eyed smile, and presses a kiss to your forehead. "You never bother me Y/N."

One day he takes you to meet Team 7. Having Kakashi Hatake as your caretaker, you were growing up to be a very smart person. You were observant, careful and mature. So when you met the teenagers you got along just fine with them.

At first Sakura cooed when she saw you and started to treat you like a baby, which you didn't like at all.

But then Naruto got annoyed at all the attention Sakura was giving you. "C'mon what's the big deal about them anyways? They're just a kid."

But Sakura just ignored him and continued babying you to which Sasuke let out an irritated groan. "Stop it, will you Sakura? They're visibly uncomfortable."

He knew how irritating it was when people babyed you. And frankly you were relieved he said something. Sakura immediately stopped after that.

After that, you talked to them and Sakura realized you were so much different and definitely not an innocent ignorant child. She immediately felt bad for her behaviour. But she also felt really proud of you. She was in awe of you. And that was the beginning of your friendship with her. Sakura at that time was a very naïve and immature girl. You weren't all that mature either considering you were just a child but you often found yourself correcting Sakura when she said or did things that were wrong or based purely on her infatuation with the Uchiha boy.

Talking about the Uchiha boy, he was the one who got you into the shinobi world. He was a very focused and determined person and seeing him train and spar made you really fascinated with the shinobi world.

So one time you went and asked him why he worked so hard and why he wanted to become a ninja? His answer wasn't something you understood properly but you got what you needed. And that was the start of your personal journey to become a ninja.

Out of all the three, Naruto was definitely your favourite. Your start was rocky but eventually you both grew to like each other a lot. Naruto treated you like his younger sibling, just how he treated Konohamaru. It was fun being with him.

Oftentimes you would sit on the grass and watch Sasuke and Naruto spar. Kakashi noticed but never acted upon his observations. He didn't really want you to become a ninja. He knew what was to come and he was terrified that you would have to go through that. The thought of you being hurt or even dead, sent shivers down his spine. He didn't want to lose another one of his loved ones. And he had sworn to protect you.

He refused you at first, when you brought up the topic. You were confused. And he wouldn't even give a logical explanation which irritated you. That's what led to an argument. At the end of which you found out what was holding Kakashi back. You felt bad now. But you explained to him how his fears couldn't control your life. That it was wrong. That becoming a ninja is what you want, what you feel connected to, that you wanted to protect him like he protects you.

So he agreed and apologised.

NOW! Movie nights, picnics, annoying Gai and making the life of his genin worse with Kakashi were your favourite things to do. But also, training sessions with him were a great bonding time. You both felt very connected with it.

Talking about Gai, you really liked him too. To you he was very different and very cool. So you two got along just fine. Kakashi even sent you to him when he wanted you to practice your Taijutsu and body building.

All in all, Kakashi is a great guardian who takes care of you a lot, loves you till death and beyond and having you in his life definitely made his life a thousand fold better. He finally had someone to call family. He was very happy and he made you happy too.

#Kakashi Hatake #Kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #hatake Kakashi x reader #hatake kakashi #naruto #naruto x reader #kakashi fluff #platonic kakashi #krishna's requests

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kass-storycorner · 3 years

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Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

#genshin x reader #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #ajax x reader #gn!reader #reader fic #genshin impact #genshin fic #fan fiction #angst #angst prompt #bit of comfort #hurt #hurt prompt #writing

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rumblelibrary · 3 years

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Okay this may sound like an oddly detailed request but can you do a Laszlo x reader where Laszlo has been courting the reader for a while and has never met her father, because her father is dead or abandoned her at a young age or something like that and she never told Laszlo, but Laszlo is instant on meeting him for some reason or something like that?

Sorry if thats a weird request

Unofficial Meeting [Dr Laszlo Kreizler x Fem!Reader]

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: a bit angsty, mention of old fashioned ideas

Author’s note: I hope you will like it and I respected your wishes <3

"Miss?"

The voice of your chamber maid called you distracting you from answering some correspondence.

"Yes?"

She smiled so widely as a bouquet of white roses and peonies was presented in front of you. She giggled as she was just so happy for you. You have been courted by Dr Laszlo Kreizler for some time now, but he never missed to send you flowers on a Saturday morning, it was his ritual since you two became serious.

"Those are so beautiful, miss"

She said excitedly before leaving you to read the note, she was probably living the romance through you which was quite weird but cute to witness.

You opened the card, Laszlo usually was a brief but intense poet, but this time the message was clear. Can I tempt you with a lunch at Delmonico's?

You frowned lightly before looking out of your window, his dark clothing making him strikingly visible in the greenery of the park in front of your house, he raised his hat for you and smiled.

Damn him and his top level courting.

You put your letters away and got ready spraying some perfume on you before going out, your maid helping you with your coat and hat.

When you stepped out of the front Door Laszlo was waiting in front of your gate.

"You could have called"

He smirked at you "it wouldn't have been a surprise" he concluded simply.

You smirked as it was true and you have also learned to admire the extent of Laszlo'd courtship. He was attentive and respectful, he knew when to trace a line to forbid any kind of bad talks. He was already famous for being a maverick and he didn't want to put that stigma on you too.

You obliged him as you walked your way together to the restaurant, he never failed to ask you about your day and your plans. he was very attentive and you reserved him the same tenderness asking him about his patients or latest articles.

Once you arrived at the restaurant you were brought to one of the best tables, Laszlo taking upon himself the honour to move your chair back behind you and then back toward you for you to sit comfortably.

"Thank you Laszlo"

He smiled proudly taking it as a compliment, but he looked rather stiff and tense for his usual mannerism toward you.

Once you ordered your meal he toyed with his glass of wine a bit attracting inevitably your attention.

"What is wrong?"

He looked at you surprised by your question, but he smiled because you sort of alleviated him from the weight of beginning what he wanted to ask.

"I was just wondering when I will be able to meet your father" he said just as directly as your question was "I met your grandmother and your uncles and aunts, I am missing somebody"

He said it quite easily as your mother had left this earth early for the standard and you regret she won't be able to see what an amazing man you met.

"You don't need to meet him"

He stared at you puzzled, what really concerned him wasn't your refusal, but more the hardness you showed into expressing it.

"I think I do"

You glared at him, your conversation briefly interrupted by the waiters landing the plates in front of the two of you.

He thanked them before looking back at you, your stern look still there.

You had discussions before but never of this size and also as much as he tried before to hint the theme of your father he wasn't acknowledged at all.

He also noticed how the rest of your family followed that same guideline, acting like they found you under a tree.

"I think it is something I have to do sooner or later"

You glared at him again.

"Stop it"

It was hard for him to stop. He was already launched on the theme and he was worse than a wild animal when he got fixated over a theme in particular.

You pushed some common ground theme while you ate. Like John or Sara's agency or other mundane things, but you hated to see the intensity in his look.

That question over and over into his mind.

You never hated to be with him as much as you did now.

You declined the offer of a dessert pretty quickly just wanting to go away.

Laszlo obliged and lead you back outside escorting you to your place.

"I don't mean to be invasive.."

"But you're" you confirmed to him "thank you for the lunch, I can walk myself home on my own”

You left him there moving after your house's gate.

He stood there biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

You didn't contact him any further on that day or the ones that followed, to be honest you avoided him and his flowers and attentions. You even stayed at home instead of attending places you were supposed to be, but where he also might find you.

Until your grandmother called you and you furiously ordered your maid to call the doctor and make him come at your place.

He arrived quicker than you expected. He was worried something happened, maybe you were ill and nobody told him.

When your maid showed him the way to your study and closed the door behind him he tried immediately to politely ask you about your state but your eyes burned holes like bullets in him.

“How dare you?” You growled at him. He stood still in front of you, his back straight even if you didn’t fail to notice the frown on his forehead.

“How dare you to call my grandmother? To ask her something I specifically told you I don’t want to share or talk or even mention? What is s hard about it? What makes you rightful to come bashing into my life asking for answers? “Y/N”

“No, no Y/N, you doctor, should learn to put a line between when you’re an alienist and when you’re a decent human being” you were being extra hard on him, but just earring your grandmother worried voice was enough to make you snap his neck.

He took your rage like a champion, even if he clearly was suffering it.

“Why is so important Laszlo? Why to see your mind at ease? It is just a man, somebody that doesn’t belong to my life, why you have to push it? Why you always have to push it?” “I just hoped..” “Hoped what? Hoped that a man that abandoned a pregnant woman while courting her was worth my time and thoughts? That I need to share my own life with somebody that wasn’t there? That never asked to meet me, or even see the woman he swore to every wind that he loved? That put my mother in the position of being considered a whore? How my grandma had to pretend I was hers to try give my mother a good shot at life?”

All those truths hit Laszlo like a bag of bricks, he was overwhelmed and saddened. Those situations were the ugliest in those times. Women always paying off the debts of the lust of men. The simple promise of a marriage just to gain something that could be tasted forever with a little more of wait. Just the human need to break a rule, just one, that revolutionary feeling that only losers at heart have. Because nobody makes a revolution over the expenses of a loved one.

“I had no idea” he concluded

“I hope you are satisfied now, your scientific mind has now all the puzzle pieces, now leave and let my family alone”

You could see his shoulders fall as you said that to him, his face paling in fear and sadness. He pressed his lips tight against each other, his jaw hurting as he didn’t know if at this point was really worth it to explain why he insisted so much. He ruined it, he tried to treat you with the white gloves and instead he hurt you even more.

“I apologise” he said staring at you, you letting him speak for the first time “I never meant to put you in such a position, I really just meant to be close to your family and I couldn’t see the fault in my own desires”

He admitted it but you didn’t wince, he crossed the line, he went too far and he needed to learn to respect the limits of others, not everyone needed to be under his care.

“I said you may leave”

He looked out of your window searching for words. Your anger was waving down as he looked so upset, and he should be.

“I am also a victim of our society in my own means, even if my behaviour is not excusable in any way, I stupidly fixated on the idea of doing things right with you and some things… Well, they teach us boys some things have to be asked to a father first”

You looked at him with a frown, you shook lightly your head as you didn’t understand his point and you were five seconds away from throwing him the vase with the latest flowers he sent you when you looked at him pul out a little velvet box from his inner pocket.

“The times are modern now, it was silly of me to try move past you like that” he leaned the box on your desk. He nodded at you respectfully leaving. You were left alone with that little box, you stared at it for a moment before moving closer to it.

You looked out of the window as you heard the gates closing and you watched Laszlo’s figure walk away.

Your eyes darted from his back to the box in front of you slowly opening it to find the ring of the dreams of any girl.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief@thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling

Let me know if you want to get tagged to my publications too <3

#laszlo kreizler fanfic #laszlo kreizler #dr kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler imagine #dr laszlo kreizler x reader #dr laszlo kreizler x you #dr kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler fanfiction #laszlo kreizler imagine #laszlo kreizler x y/n #laszlo kreizler headcanons #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler x you

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sunlightandsuffering · 3 years

Note

Corruption au Eren cockwarms mikasa once they’re together, he says ‘it helps him remember things’ and then every so often he gives her an orgasm just to keep her pliant against him while she plays with her boobs, he doesn’t do it in a cruel kind of way, it just he wants to pleasure her while doing his work

however when they’re not together, he’s such a sadist about it, he refuses to let her come even after he’s done his hw and is just fucking her, he always leaves when he’s done. Until one day when he starts feeling bad, he lets her come and it absolutely ruins him, he becomes obsessed with pleasuring her and seeing her face flushed pink, and hearing the needy sounds she makes and the quiet sighs, and the way her hands frantically move around until he Holds them together

STOP U GUYS KNOW ABOUT MY COCKWARMING OBSESSION STOP IT 😂😂 omg bless corruption Eren tho, this is my favourite kink for him, its so hot and it fits their situation perfectly.

It starts slow for Eren, to be honest he has no fucking idea when it really started. One day he'd been failing calculus, accepting he wasn't going to pass the year and thinking about maybe dealing drugs as a career path over his previous dreams of doctor. The next he was being forced to study three days out of the week with high school princess, Mikasa Ackerman.

At first he'd hated it, hated her really. He'd never been able to stand her, not since they were little and she'd chosen the dark side of Historia Reiss, bully and mean girl if there ever was one. Historia had sweet innocent baby Mikasa under her thumb. Mikasa followed her around like a dumb fucking puppy and Eren hated followers, they were all the same, no personalities, no aspirations of their own. She had no backbone either. She let all the shit Historia did slide, all the bullying, the holier than thou attitude because her family was richer than god. So very typical of the rich kids from the upper class neighbourhood. Eren would know, he used to be that rich kid, used to live that life. That was until his parents died in a brutal car accident, Zeke had inherited half the estate on the condition he'd take care of Eren and the rest was tied up in Eren's trust fund until he was twenty one.

Big surprise, no one had taken care of Eren and he was fucking lucky Armin and his grandpa had been there to help him out.

Everyone else, all his other 'friends' had given him the cold shoulder upon finding out he was no longer rich for the moment, he'd been dropped like a hot potato. So Eren's hatred of the upper class of Shiganshina had begun.

And Mikasa Ackerman was the pinnacle of it all, the worst the rich had to offer. She was beautiful, smart, loaded, had every opportunity in life, completely innocent and sweet, and the cherry on top of it all she volunteered on the weekend at the pound.

She disgusted him, so prim and proper and all around good girl while she was letting her 'friends' bully him for being poor, watching the injustice happen like a fish in a bowl.

He couldn't fucking stand her.

Of course, she would be the person who ended up tutoring him though, Principal Erwin mandating it if he wanted to graduate. So here he was sitting in the computer lab at five on a Wednesday watching her plump lips move as she explained integrals to him for the third time in an hour.

It's been a few months since they've started this little arrangement and he's gotten used to her presence. He wouldn't say he likes her, thats a stretch but he's not quite as cruel as he once was. He'd be lying if he said he didn't get a kick of watching that beautiful mouth part every time he does something mean though, those little gasps when he pinches her thigh or touches her where he shouldn't.

It's probably the highlight of these sessions.

Today he's feeling bold, maybe he'll push his luck. After all, he's done it before and she's never protested. For some reason or another Mikasa Ackerman has a soft spot for him, and no matter how mean, she lets him get away with murder. "Miki, come here I can't hear you properly." "And then you take the-what?" She looks up, pretty dove-grey eyes wide, sparkling as she explains her favourite subject, fucking math.

"You heard me, get over here." As usual, she takes orders so fucking well, it brings out the absolute worst in him. She's standing up and next to him in seconds and he's eye level with her perfect chest, those tits he dreams about every night, ripping her bra off with his teeth and sucking at those pretty pink nipples of hers. He's only seen them a few times, when he convinces her it's okay, when he's sure there's absolutely no one around, but they keep him awake at night. He pats his lap, grinning as she goes easily, settling into her favourite spot, he knows she loves it just as much as he does. Her thighs always shake and she shudders as his hands find their place cupping those beautiful creamy thighs, head tucked into her shoulder.

Mikasa starts talking again, beautiful lilt soothing him as she launches into a renewed explanation of integrals while his hands move up, up, up and to his absolute favourite spot, her panties. Today she's wearing cotton, he can feel it, must be laundry day and he kisses her shoulder as he feels how wet she is. Fucking perfect.

Lately she's been more partial to fancier underwear and he can't help but wonder if it's for him. He has a feeling it is, because the first month of their little arrangement he'd snuck as many peaks as they could and it was always pink or white cotton with polka dots and pretty bows. They were his favourite, so fucking innocent, so untouched by anyone but him.

He watches as she moves her pencil drawing lines and numbers, a little bit of the alphabet too and he ignores it all in favour of watching her chest, her breath hitch as he slides a finger inside her panties, feeling those velvet lips, it's been a while.

He's been on his best behaviour lately since Levi almost caught them at her house that one time, but he's horny and she's wet and he misses being inside her, misses watching her try to talk through him fucking her, how her voice would waver, change pitch. How many times she'd stumble through her sentences, have to start all over again, because she can't handle how big he is, doesn't know how to deal with the all-consuming sensation of him fucking deep within her walls, just sitting there filling her right up to her cervix.

Fuck.

He can't really be blamed for what he does next, and besides it doesn't matter, Eren's not a stupid kid, he allowed himself to get this far behind in calculus. He'd spent an hour last night going over integrals with the sole purpose of knowing what was going on today so he could fuck with his favourite toy.

He moves her a bit so she's resting more heavily on one thigh and slides his joggers and boxers down just enough expose his heavy cock to the air, already rock hard and waiting. Mikasa gasps a little bit, a breathy sound quick and sharp as she sees him, her eyes transfixed on his dick and he grins, sliding her panties to the side and slamming her down on him before she even knows what hit her. The slide is so fucking easy too, it takes almost nothing and he gets a sick sense of satisfaction that even with little to no prep she can take him, probably better than anyone else he's ever fucked. She takes it all no complaints, as deep as she can and he bottoms out.

She lets out a long moan, that pretty sound he wants to record and listen to on his phone over and over again, her head lolling back uselessly against his shoulder as she takes in the sensation.

"Miki baby you know this helps me remember better right, sorry it just wasn't getting through my head I was too distracted, but now I'm all ears, why don't you continue. What's that rule you were talking about, how are derivatives and integrals related again baby, they're opposites?"

She's breathing quick and Eren doesn't blame her, he's struggling to keep his tone level as her walls squeeze him, warm and soft and he wants to stay buried there forever, she's so fucking tight.

"I-Eren-I-yeah, opposites," she finally manages to get the last word out ending a little broken as she struggles to sit up and make herself comfortable on his cock, she should be used to it by now with how often he does this, but it never fails she always reacts like she's taking him for the first time all over again. He fucking loves it.

"Why don't you explain again baby, I don't think I really understand? And make sure you're clear Mikasa." She nods, still squirming around, every movement shooting electricity up through both of them as she accidentally grinds down, she lets out an involuntary moan and Eren smirks.

Eren takes it upon himself to move her up and off his cock a few inches before impaling her back down, biting down on her neck a little bit as punishment and she whines, teeth coming out to bite down on her lip brutally as she tries to keep quiet.

"Stop moving baby, you're distracting me, just take my cock like a good girl and explain for me yeah?" She replies brokenly her voice soft and struggling with her breaths, "Yeah."

#corruption au 🖤#idk where this came from #😂😂

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d0llpie · 3 years

Note

could we suggest a scenario instead of a # from the prompt list? if we can could you write hcs (or whatever format you prefer haha) of fake dating for sakusa? like maybe you’re going home from college and ur parents are expecting you to bring home a boyfriend.

ofc if this isn’t what you normally do i understand !!

Fake Dating Sakusa

sakusa x reader

a/n: Hii yes this is perfectly fine, thank you for the request love <33 Also i don’t usually incorporate ‘germaphobe’ sakusa into my works, i still make reference to his social anxiety and cleanliness but i keep it low key if that makes sense? Hope you enjoy regardless <3

wc: 2k

- You were friends with Komori during middle school since he lived near you

- As you grew closer you started attending his volleyball practices and he introduced you to Sakusa

- You were bright and bubbly and spoke to him every game and practice, commending him on his skills. It was rare to get a reply but you still tried nonetheless

- Once Komori had asked you to become the manager, the three of you started hanging out more often, leading to you being one of the few people Sakusa wasn’t uncomfortable around

- Once you entered high school together the boy’s volleyball team was already amazing, Sakusa became the ace while you were focused on your studies and own extra curriculars

- When Sakusa asked you to manage his team he didn’t think you would decline, as petty as it was he started ignoring you

- Komori was annoyed at his behaviour and you just tried to get under his skin to annoy him. Slipping notes into his locker and notebooks, even flinging your mask at him across the classroom but he didn’t blink.

- Your mum asked why she hadn’t seen Kiyoomi around lately and you decided to tell her everything, including how much you missed him.

- She offered to call his mum but you quickly shut her down, instead making Komori talk some sense into him.

- The next day he showed up at your door, with brows furrowed, although you could only see half his face you could tell he had a guilty expression

- “Soo, you come crawling back to me just like always” you sighed dramatically before entering your house, rolling his eyes

- “I’m sorry for expecting so much from you, i know you aren’t interested in volleyball and just support me but i enjoy your support.” you were taken back by his blunt apology and nodded, about to speak when you were interrupted

- “Sakusa! Come in come in, i haven’t seen you in while how is volleyball!” you mum ushered him into the kitchen, starting the kettle to make some tea

- “Hi mrs l/n, it’s been good, we’re improving and nationals is approaching” he removed his mask and sat at the bench, looking over at you expectantly

- You smiled before sitting next him, “Well thats great! I’m sure your mum is proud, i need to catch up with her soon” you watched fondly as they interacted, remembering how your mum seemed to be on his side more when you explained his absence

- “I have to leave soon, i’ll be back in a few hours, Kiyoomi would you like to stay for dinner dear?” he nodded curtly “if that’s okay with you” she smiled before turning to you

- “y/n, about the trip next week, your cousin is bringing her boyfriend so you can bring Sakusa, if you’re free of course” you became embarrassed quickly, understanding that your mum had mistaken Kiyoomi for your boyfriend when you spoke to her

- “mum wait-“ “okay i really need to go now, we can talk about this later, bye guys” she rushed out the door and you sighed, slowly turning to see Sakusa’s unreadable expression

- “Is your mother under the impression that we’re dating...?” you wanted to crawl under the floorboards and melt into the earth “um, i think so? i didn’t tell her that i think she got confused when i explained why you were ignoring me..” he nodded understandingly

- “I am free” you quirked your brow “Omi you don’t have to come i can explain everything to her..”

- “i guess, that’s a bit of a hassle though don’t you think? And besides, your family likes me more than you.” you lightly hit his shoulder before standing up to bring the tea into the lounge room, Sakusa following behind you

- “I guess, but, you’d have to pretend to be my boyfriend in front of everyone and my cousin will ask a lot of question, do you think you’d be okay?” his eyes softened at your concern before he answered

- “I don’t mind, it won’t be difficult, plus we can always just stay in the hotel room and say we’re on a date or something if it gets too much” he shrugged “wow Omi, i didn’t know you could think this much so fast” he glared at you and you laughed

- “Alright then babe, i’ll tell mum when she gets back” you laughed again, focusing on your cup of tea, missing the way the tips of his ears burned red

Next week came all too fast, you and Sakusa had managed to slip back into the way your friendship was beforehand, comfortable.

Sakusa was sitting on the edge of your bed, watching you pack up the last of your things into the suitcase. You knew it might be a bit much for him to be in a car with your family for hours so you were going to take his car. It would give you both time to sort out your story and prepare for the week ahead. You hopped into the passenger seat and started playing your playlist.

“Okay so, mum won’t ask many questions, she loves you anyway, however, my cousin will ask about first dates and will want to know e v e r y t h i n g” you turned to face him when his arm reached behind the head of your chair, he looked back to reverse and you stared blankly at his side profile, seeing his arms flex. You cleared your throat and turned back in front of you to continue. “We need a story”, as he pulled out of your street and began driving he spoke “I mean we can tell the truth about how we met, say you confessed after a volleyball match where i won and our first date was a picnic, we’ve been together for a few months and your mum found out recently” you stared at him shocked “i thought i would be having to prepare you but okay” you playfully rolled your eyes and smiled “What about acting like a couple?” “well your mum already assumed and i’m comfortable with you so it’s not like people don’t already think we act like one, anything off limits?” you hummed “jeez what do you have in mind” you teased and he scoffed “I mean the obvious hand holding and hugs will have to probably happen but anything else you do or don’t want?” yes. You shook the thought away “That should be fine, what about you?” “that’s fine, you can take a nap if you’re tired, it’ll be a few hours” you nodded before settling into your seat comfortably, quickly falling asleep.

Sakusa looked over at you and noticed the goosebumps on your skin, he reaching onto the backseat floor and placed a jacket over you the best he could. He glanced to you at the side fairly often, watching you peacefully sleep under his jacket. He smiled to himself while continuing to drive.

You woke up as soon as the car stopped, looking around confused, feeling an unfamiliar weight and material draped over you. You looked down and recognised Sakusas jacket, remembering you fell asleep in the car. You looked over to see Sakusa looking down at you “sleep well?” “mhm” you sat up properly and took a few minutes to adjust to being awake. “Alright well, your family is here, you ready to act babe?” he threw the nickname back at you and your eyes widened before you put on a casual smile, realising you needed to get used to acting like you were in a relationship with your friend.

“Y/n, Sakusa! How was the drive? We’re all gonna put our bags away and get settled in before dinner, make sure you both get ready!” your parents greeted you both “It was nice, we’ll settle in now, thank you” your mother handed Sakusa one of the room keys. You went to grab your bags but Sakusa beat you to it, taking both of your bags and leading you to the room.

When you entered you made a mental note to annoy your mother, there was only one bed. “Kiyoomi i’m sorry, I didn’t know she would book it like this, actually i’m not surprised...” he nodded understandingly, putting both your bags on the bed. “I’ll sleep on the chair or the floor it’ll be fine, c’mon let’s get ready” you wanted to argue against him doing that, but hummed and began to get ready.

Once you finished getting dressed, you left the bathroom and met Sakusa by the door “You look good, ready?” you nodded, smiling brightly at him. He slipped an arm around your waist and you tensed up before relaxing into his hold

Dinner went smoothly for the most part, you let Kiyoomi do most of the talking since he answered all the questions relating to your relationship with ease, even including stories from middle school and weaving them into the lies about your dating life. “So, when did you realise you liked each other?” your cousin eyed you curiously and you looked over to Sakusa. “I’ve always known, she’s always made me feel safe enough to be myself, respecting me while still annoying the crap out of me. I knew on her first day as our manager in middle school, during a break she handed everyone water bottles but she went to my bag to bring me my own water bottle instead” you were staring at him in awe, millions of thoughts running through your mind. Was he serious? He couldn’t be..but wow that was detailed and he seemed, genuine? He looked over to see you staring at him, starstruck expression on your face, similar to when he looks over to you in the stands after landing a spike. Your cousin let out a few ‘awws’ holding her boyfriends hand before turning to you again. “Oh, um, I knew when he came and picked me up at the mall, i had had a horrible day, everything was going wrong and i just wanted to get out of there but i was so stressed and despite the crowded place he still came anyway.” your heart was racing, you were sure you looked completely flustered, fiddling with your hands under the table. Sakusa noticed your nervous state and gripped your hand in his own, squeezing to calm you while keeping his attention on the rest of the table. You smiled, squeezing back softly.

After dinner you flopped onto the bed, exhausted and trying to calm down. You let Kiyoomi shower first, hopping in after him, letting the hot water soak into your muscles and relax you. After you got ready for bed you came out of the bathroom to see Kiyoomi setting blankets on the floor “Just get on the bed Sakusa” you laughed and slid under the covers, lying as far on edge as possible to avoid making him uncomfortable. “I wasn’t lying.” he was lying on his back, staring up at the roof, you turned to face him, your heart rate picking up again. “Me neither...” he turned his head to look at you, moving onto his side, your faces mere inches apart. “I agreed to this because i like you y/n..” you could feel his breath fan across your face and you smiled “I wanted you to come, i like you too” you whispered the last part as you closed the distance between you both, kissing him on the cheek softly. A small blush spread across his cheeks and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest “I’m glad we aren’t faking anymore” you whispered into his chest “i never was, goodnight y/n” you snuggled further into his hold “goodnight omi”

#haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa headcannons #hq sakusa #sakusa x reader #sakusa fluff #sakusa fake dating #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu imagines

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gopeachllama · 3 years

Text

Why I think Feysand were OOC in ACOSF

I hope that no one misunderstands from the title but let me say this is a 100% PROfeysand post. so if you hated feysand even before acosf, then this post isn't for you.

So i've seen a lot of interesting theories about feysand's and in particular rhys' behaviour and choices throughout acosf. and while alot of them seemed possible and may have been the case canonically speaking, even as a feysand stan i just couldn't seem to wrap my head around some of the things they said and did in the book. they just both seem OOC, its the only pausible explanation for me.

To understand why feysand were OOC in the book we have to look at this through a narrative perspective. as in we have to ask why would the author write the character/s in this way?

a quick overview of what a character arc is

so there can be a lot of variations of a character arc in a story but the basics is as follows (how does the character go from point 'a' to point 'b'):

the 'big lie' - the views/beliefs/actions the character has at the start which will be challenged throughout the story (this is point 'a')

the 'incident' - a plot point in which starts development of the character. something that spurs the character into action, this most ofter happens when they are placed in an unfamiliar situation. this usuallyy is the intial challenge to their 'big lie'. at this point the story will move forward and theres no going back.

the midpoint - the character changes conciously or subconciously, they start to recognise their own flaws in the 'big lie'.

world collaspes - this is usually on the heels of a victory, the character reaches the lowest point in their journey. they finally confront 'the big lie' and forces to stop this deception they inflict on themselves. they can destroy it or it will destroy them.

the climax - the reason for the story. the reason why the character had to take this journey in order to get to this moment. the moment that the character will decide once and for all whether they will go forward to point 'b' or regress back to point 'a'

the resolution - the character reaches point 'b'. their view/beliefs/actions have changed, they no longer believe in the 'big lie'.

So obvisouly the main character in acosf is Nesta. What sjm does in her books is that every plot point and development of secondary characters is in service to the arc of the main character. None of the character's outside of Nesta have their own development. Not even Cassian, any sort of changes or developments he undergoes is in service to Nesta (a complete missed opportunity for Cassian but that a whole other point). And before anyone tries to say otherwise, you can have development for characters even if they are secondary ones (and for a book that is 800+ pages long it is definitely possible). An example is with his can also be seen with Gwyn. Her leaving the library for the first time was a huge moment for the character, but she did so, in order to comfort Nesta after her big fight with Cassian. It was also so that Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie could all be together in Illyria so they could be kidnapped and forced to enter the blood rite (where the final showdown occurs with Nesta and the villan).

so what has this got to do with feysand and why are they OOC?

In fact the entire plot with feyre's pregnancy was made to give chracter developments for Nesta. There was nothing written in the book that suggested any developments for feyre and rhys. it did nothing for them. Nesta needed to become central to the story and the only way sjm thought to keep feyre side lined was to make her pregrnant. It was also just lazy writing and world building bc there is no way that rhys would have though of this when he and feyre were trying for a baby.

SIN #1 The Shields

Rhys practicing shields (shield thats doesn't even allow anyone to even touch her) on feyre, which she just allows. the book explains because of the fact that there is more danger to her now that she's pregnant. Narratively, this would make sense if there is a payoff. Like later in the story if feyre was in physical danger and the shield saves her or if the shield became a detriment to her in some way. But no nothing like this happens. Rhys 'practices' the shield on her and thats it. Rhys, who was the same person that trusted feyre enough defend herself against the weaver. It was totally out of character that he would shield her to the point that Cassian can't even kiss her on the cheek (sounds familiar huh). and the same goes for feyre, who has no problem with this (*cough* tamlin locking her up *cough*). Thats is some OOC behaviour.

So what were the point of the shields? well since sjm made it canon that fae can smell when a female is pregnant, the biggest way they came into play was in the scene when rhys lifted it long enough so that everyone could sense that that feyre was pregnant. And It could have been just that, feyre and rhys were expecting a baby, and Nesta can go along with her development, they did not need to intersect. But it did, and we'll come back to that later. This scene is a lighthearted moment in the book, one of the rare few where all the characters are happy and celebrating a good thing. acofas we knew that rhys and feyre decided to try for a baby, and seeing it pay off here was enjoyable for the readers.

But what else does this scene do? through Nesta's perspective, we can read her thoughts on it, and though she doesn't reveal much its an important character moment for her. the readers can see that she can feel happiness for someone else beyond the self-loathing she guards herself with, it shows that she is a character worth rooting for.

SIN #2 Rhys concealing the dangers of the pregnancy from feyre

oof this one is a doosey. this was the most baffling thing to come out of acosf for me. there is literally no reason or explanation that would make sense for rhys to lie to feyre like that. It offers no development for the two character it affects the most: rhys and feyre. there no fallout on rhys' end for lying to her, and there is no turmoil for feyre such as falling into depair like we told she would (the whole reason that rhys was hiding it in the first place).

When Nesta finds out that the pregnancy was most likely going to kill feyre and the baby. instead of Nesta disagreeing and urging Rhys to tell feyre, she doesn't say anything and forms a temporary truce with him, a character she has always had conflict with. It also serves as the incident that allows Nesta to have her 'world collapse' moment in her character arc. How else was Nesta going to realise what a shitty person is was being if she didn't do something so absolutely shitty? in a fit of rage, Nesta reveals to feyre that the pregnancy was going to kill both her and the baby. she get taken away on a hike in illyria (because???) and she reaches rock bottom after she comes to term with what she did. the story is taken away from velaris and the inner circle, and any conflict and resolution that happens between feyre and rhys, if it even happened at all, happens off page. again furthering my point about the pregnancy having no impact on the two characters is affects the most. After Nesta's fleeting moment of enlightenment, and her swordplay sex marathon with Cassian (urgh) she returns to velaris and nothing has changed between rhys and feyre. there isn't really much of a development with Nesta's relationship with feyre, their 'reconciliation' occurs all of less than one page and doesn't even happen out loud, just mind to mind. Now that Nesta has had her important character moment, nothing else matters (again lazy writing).

SIN #3 Everyone dies

ok so yes everyone has said their two cents about this and i agree with it. Feyre and nyx had to die so that Nesta could have her climax moment. It is the climax of the story since it is the big story development right before the resolution. and about the bargain - feysand decided in acofas that they were going to try for a baby. meaning that it was after this decision that they struck the bargain that they would die together. so at some point they would have thought of the fact they would have a child/children when the both die. im sorry but do they seem like the kind of ppl that would make a suicide pact even if it meant leaving their children behind? TOTALLY OOC for me. and i dont know i guess also the stakes weren't high enough with just the threat of feyre and nyx dying.

So feyre and nyx are dead and rhys will soon follow and Nesta intervenes to save them. Its also a self-sacrificing moment bc she has to give up her powers in order to do this... Showing that she does truely love her family and the depths of her powers. (seriously idc how you stan or hate how does anyone this good book?). don't doubt that in the future books sjm will find a way for Nesta to get her powers back (whatever they are (pure death WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???))

So Nesta saves the day, everyone is fine and nothing has changed except Nesta is nice now probably. the end.

welp this got way longer that i expected but anyways long story short there was nothing about the pregnancy that gave development to feysand characters and it was all for the development of the main character.

i don't claim acosf!feysand and sjm better fucking leave them alone in the rest of the books.

#acotar #acosf #anti acosf #rhys #rhysand #pro rhysand #feyre #pro feyre #feysand #pro feysand #nesta #this is not an anti nesta post #at least i dont think it is #but this is definitely a fucking anti sjm post #anti sjm

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saturnwritings · 3 years

Text

the weather today is slightly sarcastic

—in exile, tommy is visited by techno, and while he wants to convince himself that he hates the fucking traitor, he's left feeling more comforted than dream ever made him feel.

word count: 1265

warnings: emotional manipulation (on dream’s side, only briefly mentioned)

“You’re really falling for that bullshit?”

A familiar monotone voice filled his ears, and Tommy shivered. Technoblade stood, leaning against a tree near the building of logsteadshire. Tommy mentally cursed himself for not noticing, the new blue bourgeoisie ‘retirement’ outfit stood out obviously from all the dull browns and greens of the trees.

Tommy narrowed his eyes, his attitude a full 180 from when Dream was visiting. Dream, his only friend, at least that was what Dream told him. And who was he to not believe him? No one visited, no one cared, Dream was his only friend.

“What do you want, Techno.” Techno laughed, amused.

“I just wanted to check up on my little brother, see how he’s doing.” Anger bubbled in Tommy’s gut in response to Techno’s patronizing tone. Tommy huffed.

Just moments ago Dream was waving goodbye as he exited through the Nether portal, Tommy already reminiscing on everything they had done that day: riptide practice, chest room expansion, Dream convincing him to take down more of the Nether bridge, villager trading, and more! Now Technoblade was here. Techno, the traitor, the smug pig hybrid dressed up in a bourgeoisie outfit son-of-a-bitch.

(What was the saying about putting makeup on a pig?)

“...Shut up,” was the only thing Tommy could think to say. Techno smirked, his tusks glinting in the subdued moonlight.

(Jesus, even the weather was dreary.)

An awkward silence filled the air, before a curious expression overtook Technoblade’s face. “So why were you hanging out Dream? Was he here to mock you about being an exile-Andy again?” Tommy grumbled.

“No. We were hanging out.” His matter-of-fact tone a facade of confidence. Techno rolled his eyes.

“I’m sure you were, Tommy.”

Tommy was getting fed up with his brother. Dream and him were friends! They played games together and hung out and Dream always came to visit. He didn’t care what Techno thought, he betrayed them.

(Why was he still trying to prove himself, then?)

“It’s true! Dream and I are friends. We- we’re- we hangout all the time and, and he actually cares about me unlike you. He gave me a trident, and we had cake together, he even let me keep my items today, and- and said he’d take me back to L’manburg for Christmas!”

He crossed his arms, “God, Tommy, you’re getting excited about Dream letting you keep your own items? Wow, some friend he is, huh,” Techno snorted and shook his head, “Jesus, how brainwashed are you?”

Techno laughed mockingly, but when Tommy cast his gaze aside and puffed his cheeks, Techno’s eyes widened. “Wait… you actually thought they cared about you? That they were going to let you back if you were on your best behaviour?”

Something about Techno in that moment brought Tommy back to when they were all younger. When they hadn’t gone through all the hardships of war, when they were still a whole family, when Techno and Wilbur would always tease Tommy, for being younger, for being smaller. Something about Techno ridiculing him made him feel comforted, cared about, he knew it should embarrass him, but his mind was telling him it didn’t.

“Did Phil and I teach you nothing? Trust no one, Tommy. People might say they’re on your side but you have to realize that they’re not.”

There was silence for a second, and Tommy shifted in his place, “What about you?” Techno chuckled, before moving forward and resting a hand on Tommy’s shoulder.

“That’s different. We’re on your side ‘cause we’re family, we have to stick up for each other.” He gave a lopsided grin. Tommy was again reminded of old Techno, a specific memory of them flashed through his mind, but it was still oh so vivid.

(“Stance wider, Tommy.”

“I know, I know, I’m trying!” Wilbur chuckled from under the apple tree.

“Try harder!”

Tommy huffed, sweat dripping down the side of his face. Distracted, he lost his footing, and he felt a wooden sword clash against his shins right before he fell to the ground.

“Ow…” Tommy closed an eye and rubbed the side of his head that had collided with the dirt, his own wooden sword dropped to the side of him. He heard Phil scold Wilbur in the distance. He almost started to tear up before hearing his brother speak.

“Here.” He looked up to see Techno with an outstretched hand. He grabbed it and was pulled up.

Tommy bit the inside of his cheek before looking away childishly.

“Your problem was that you got distracted. You were too focused on what people around you were saying that you forgot what your main goal was.” Tommy listened to his brother’s explanation.

“You’ve been reading The Art of War again, haven’t you.”

Techno gave a lopsided grin.)

Tommy felt conflicted as he reminisced.

“Dream and Tubbo and everyone else in L’manburg? They’re not your friends. To them, we’re nothing but pests. It’s ‘cause we always try to take them down, foil their plans, but, you know, someone has to do it, right?” Techno raised his eyebrows and nudged Tommy.

Tommy didn’t respond. His jaw was clenched, his eyes were strained, he didn’t realize he was clenching his hands so much until he felt something wet drip down them, and saw the crimson liquid fall, almost gracefully, down his arm.

“Dream’s my friend…” He started. He didn’t know what he was even going to say, so it didn’t really matter that Techno interrupted him.

“You think you’re special? You think you’re different to everyone else, to all the other pawns Dream likes to play around with?!” Techno’s exasperated tone showed Tommy how worked up he was getting.

“Tommy, the world we live in belongs to the enemy!”

Techno stared at him, Tommy squinted.

“Everything - everyone - is being controlled by him. Even you, Tommy, as much as you don’t want to believe it, you’re being used. He’s manipulating you! He’s not your friend, let alone your only friend!”

“Well, who is then?!” Tommy cut him off, “Who else is my friend? No one else visits me, no one- no one cares like he does!”

He was yelling. Techno’s face was expressionless, with only a hint of unamused. In between his yelling, the only thing you could hear was the faint crackling of the nearby campfire and the distance chirping of birds and cicadas. Tommy could feel hot tears welling up in his eyes, before falling and rolling down his cheeks.

“You know, everyone says they care about me. Some people visit, but only, like, once, before leaving. Everyone leaves pity presents, Ranboo even sends letters, but, but no one actually, genuinely cares,” Tommy sniffled, “I have no one.”

Silence once again filled the air, the only addition was Tommy’s small sniffles.

“You have Phil, and you have me. Because, Tommy, as much as I hate to admit it, we’re family. And while I will never understand why you care so much about L’manburg and everyone else, I do care about you, and so does Phil,” he sucked in a breath, “and so does Wilbur.”

Tommy’s eyes widened.

“You have us, because no matter what side you fight for, you always have your family. And,” he paused “And I know that Wilbur would not have wanted you to be alone, either.”

Techno gave a small smile.

“The Retirement Home will always welcome you if you need anything.”

With that, Techno turned around and disappeared into the forest, leaving Tommy to stand there, shocked.

Tommy was alone again, but something in his mind told him it was only physical.

a/n: im counting this as a vent because its so dialogue heavy even though i know thats not a vent but i was really just self projecting onto tommy and techno in this haha also this is based on one of the songs from the ratatouille musical on tiktok the song is ‘django’s reprise’ from @/fettuccinefettuqueen

#fics #mcyt #myctumblr #tommyinnit #technoblade #dreamsmp #dream smp #sleepy bois inc #sleepy boys inc #angst #hurt/comfort #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt fanfic #fanfiction #dream smp fanfiction #sleepy bois fanfic #tommyinnit fanfic #title is from ‘london beckoned songs about money written by machines’ by panic at the disco

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years

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okay i’m going to go off about celebs again…. but like…. does anyone remember the gross asf vitriol that went around in 2011-2013 about justin bieber where the joke was “more like justINE bieber am i right??? 😂😂😅😅” from the “haters” of him. i, myself, actually joined in on this; considering that i thought that liking all the emo shit i was into made me “more mature than belibers” or some other absolutely batshit backwards bullshit that i would’ve spat out at the time to sound “edgy” and “NoT LiKe OtHeR GiRlS 👩🏻‍🎤👩🏻‍🎤”….. when in my group at catholic school, i had two girls in my group that were belibers themselves lol. i honestly made zilch sense.

but like to rest on this a bit, what the actual fuck was up with this joke???? why the fuck did the whole world just gang up on this teenage boy, who through no fault of his own, was still going through puberty…. so of course his voice was still going to be high??? and then the weird fucking speculation some fucking gross ass literal grown up adult people had back then of “when do you/we think his balls are going drop, so that we wont be call to be able to call him justine bieber anymore 😅😭??? just let us have our fun??!!” like what the FUCK??? why did everyone think that this was their business??? it wasn’t his fault in a sense that he stumbled into usher and got signed.

like….. no wonder justin’s had several breakdowns over the years. i would too. because how the fuck would you deal with this???? people just throwing out so casually this horrible fucking vitriol that they think you’re a girl OR think that you should get a sex change because it’s obviously a lie that he’s a boy/man OR think that you’re not “just a butch lesbian disguised as a 16yo boy” (these were legit other arguments at the time). like he was a KID for fucks sake. who the fuck asks to go through puberty in the fucking spotlight???? fucking N O O N E thats fucking who. like obviously he’s had a myriad of meltdowns and bad publicity over the years since. but this bullshit would’ve been so fucking horrible to take during the shitty years of puberty and high school to boot. obviously, in the years since, he’s done roast battles with jokes about this, so it’s good that he was able deal with it and joke about it, albeit eventually.

but i would’ve absolutely fucking hated to have all my pubescent behaviour and changes being fucking aired and speculated on in public view, for completely random people, famous or not, to comment on and make fun of. like i’ve talked before about the trouble i had with my period in my teens. i would’ve LOATHED to have that shit aired as it happened, on a red carpet for example. or as im accepting an award or just let alone performing at a show. just mid speech or mid performance. i would’ve bled (leaked) onto an expensive costume or provided expensive designer dress (or my own clothes/outfit) because my flow for a particular month/week was uber heavy. or god forbid, i wouldve thrown up mid-press-junket-interview on air or almost fucking passed out as well, depending on how my cycle/ovaries/hormones were feeling during a particular month/week.

like this is besides my point in a sense, but still. i would’ve had this aired and speculated on if i’d been catapulted to fame at the same time as bieber (and keep in mind, he is literally only a year older than me). but my period struggles would have been spun as “are you SURE this GIRL isn’t a BOY who knows nothing about period products??? does she know ANYTHING about pads & tampons so she WON’T bleed onto her dress or the like??? what a lazy, disgusting “girl”!” or “does she KNOW just how WEAK she is for NOT controlling her period pain??? how dare she pass out mid-show??? does she know she’s FAKING IT??? what a weak person, just GET UP and PERFORM, MONKEY because PERIODS ARENT THAT BAD!!! just think like a MAN and your period pain will go away!” or some other bizarre speculative bullshit that has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

when unbeknownst to anyone, i would’ve had about 5 advil tablets to both deal with my utterly unbearable period pain and unfathomably blinding and mind-numbing hormonal period headache, right before the said event or interview or whatever the fuck celeb duty i was carrying out. i would’ve had heat pads on, i would have been dizzy when arriving to and leaving from sets, etc etc etc. and finally, i would’ve been incredibly tired during all of this…… because of how much my periods fucked me around as a teen, to the point that some nights i couldn’t even fucking sleep properly. or the only reprieve i would get from the pain would be the aforementioned 5 advil tablets and an all day nap. on top of all this, i probably would’ve had to BEG (all because video call interviews weren’t particularly popular back then) for some like video call interview type thing from my bedroom or home studio or whatever, just to avoid going into an actual studio & set so i could just lay in bed or sit somewhere comfortable for the whole interview. and again etc etc etc because of all the other problems i had with my periods in my teens til my early fucking 20s, that i’ve mentioned several times on/in various posts on this hellsite over the years.

and the same goes for female stars like sasha pieterse from PLL when she opened up about her struggle with PCOS, and halsey with sharing her struggle with endometriosis. i would’ve hated to go through those medical conditions in the spotlight. i feel for them. it’s also the same thing with boobs: where the most famous example in recent years is ariel winter from modern family….. with how she needed a breast reduction because her boobs were giving her back problems and stuff, because she was like an F cup or something. and she also hated the creepy ass comments she was getting from gross dudes about how nice her boobs were or whatever the fuck, even while she was still a teen on the show.

anyway. back to bieber. i only say this because literally like last year or in 2019, the bieber joke appeared in my feed again in the first time in YEARS and i ended up tagging one of my old catholic school friends like “how the fuck do people still think this is funny?? it’s so 2011. and come to think of it, it was never funny in the first place anyway”. like both the media and the public had absolutely no right to speculate this shit and invade a young teen boy’s privacy like this??? it was so fucked up. idk why i didn’t make a post about it at the time…. but it also came into my mind just now because i commented on a post about justin bieber the other night about how he’s had fans stalk him to his nyc apartment again. like when the actual fuck will people fucking learn to let celebs have their goddamned privacy lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona

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nepenthendline · 4 years

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Mental Health Headcannons - Tsukishima, Kageyama, Ushijima, Tendou & Bokuto

All these are from my knowledge and based off of each character’s actions haikyuu, this is all my opinion so feel free to discuss other thoughts! I’m happy to talk about each more in depth if anyone would like it :) this is just me projecting my own problems on fictional characters

You can also message me if you wanna talk about these too!!

This is going to be long

TW: Mental health, learning difficulties, eating disorders, self-harm

Tsukishima - Depression, Anxiety & OCD

Tbh someone else (I’ve been trying to find their username to tag them but I can’t find it, they’re called something like theguessmonta but idk) has amazing posts about Tsukishima and his mental health which I totally agree with all of it so some of this is going to be pretty similar

I think his mental health problems started when he was quite young, around the time when the Akiteru drama happened so he’s been dealing with these for a while

Having depression can often make a person seem very disinterested/sarcastic/negative as a way of pushing back emotions and self-protection which explains a lot of the way Tsukishima acts towards some people (I have a whole post on how he isn’t just some asshole)

His anxiety stems from a place of terrible self-esteem and self-image, it’s clear to see he has a bad sense of self-worth when he talks about how people are obviously a lot better than him, he’s just there to ‘stop trouble happening’

Tsukki suffers from panic attacks quite regularly (especially when he was a bit younger) but he tends to shut himself off then they happen, he doesn’t want anyone else to see him like that

His anxiety and overthinking is often why he keeps his headphones on him at all times, listening to music helps drown out the sounds around him and those in his head

His OCD got worse over time - first it was things like turning the light switch on and off repeatedly until it felt right, or tapping on his desk before he went to bed, but as his anxiety and self-esteem got worse it developed into him needing himself to be perfect

This included only eating a certain amount of calories a day (no where near the amount he should be eating) or getting a very specific grade on an exam, where even one number over or under set him into a panic

Things got to their worst for Tsukki around the age of 13 - this is where he was much too underweight and self-harming on his hips (so no one else could see)

Probably also thought about suicide a couple times around this point

He has tried a couple different types of anti-depressants in the past, however none have seemed to help

He likes a lot of time alone - he gets too overwhelmed dealing with other people

The only person besides his family and Yamaguchi that knows about his OCD is Kageyama - they both noticed each others odd, repetitive habits until Kageyama asked him about it one day, while they don’t get along too well, they feel some comfort in each other understanding their actions

Kageyama - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

wow what a smooth segue

this boy is like a walking definition of ASD - coming from a person with ASD

Kageyama was diagnosed with Type 1/High-functioning Autism when he was very young (probably around 3-5 years old)

He struggles with social interaction, knowing what to say to people and most importantly, how to say it, e.g. when he smiles people often think he looks angry

Kageyama has never had many, if any, friends before Karasuno, as he has often struggled with conversation and speaking in an inappropriate tone that may make some people uncomfortable or even scared

He isn’t very good when it comes to remembering academic studies but if it relates to his fixations (volleyball) he is extremely intelligent - this is seen clearly when Daichi shows their team hand gestures and Kageyama says he remembered them in a day

Kageyama uses masking a lot - it’s a technique people with ASD tend to do which involves copying other peoples actions in order to understand social situations, he does this many times in the anime/manga such as his awkward BBQ song dance, or high-fives

He visited a social worker once a week while he was little until he started middle school, resulting in his behaviours getting worse

Towards the end of his first year at Karasuno he went back to therapies regularly and has anger-management training in order to help him express himself in a manageable way - he probably won’t admit it but it helps a lot (key note is that having anger-management training often does not have anything to do with anger, simply just managing emotions in general but it often a great type of therapy for those with ASD although he is a bit of an angry boi sometimes)

ASD comes with repetitive, almost OCD-like tendencies - two examples include filing his nails every single day and having a very specific routine before going to bed that consists of drinking milk, putting on pjs, laying in bed and throwing + catching a ball, brushing his teeth and going to bed on his left side - if he doesn’t do these things at the right times/in the right order, he gets extremely anxious and agitated

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Ushijima - Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

autism buds with kageyama

I kid thats probably a bad idea

Ushijima was also diagnosed with Type 1/High-Functioning Autism when he was 5

Unfortunately due to the stigma around Autism, his family (besides his father) were not very accepting of this and he was put into therapy at a young age

While this was actually helpful for him, his family insisted his therapies should ‘cure’ him and were dismissive of the many times a doctor told them that ASD is not a curable disorder

Outside of therapy he does not receive much support from his family, except his father who got him a pair of noise-cancelling headphones he used to wear until he 8 whenever they went out together - he was only allowed to wear them if it was just him and his father, the rest of his family thought it made it too obvious there was ‘something wrong with the child’

Extending on this, Ushijima was very sensitive to sensory input as a child, and while he still is, it has become easier to manager as he has gotten older

His ASD is most prevalent in his lack of understand ways of communication, such as sarcasm or jokes, and tends to take things very literally

@simp4satori and I came to the conclusion that if you were to call him daddy during sex, or ask him to ‘punish you’ the poor boy would have NO CLUE - would probably call your dad and tell him you needed to speak to him, or say you can’t watch anime for a week lol

He is extremely direct when he talks, to the point where it comes across rude or hurtful but he doesn’t realise this until someone mentions it

Tendou probably helps him rephrase things from time-to-time in order for him to get his point across

He gets very anxious when faced with things he doesn’t know about or understand (this is mentioned by Tendou in the manga), this can include people, going to new places or trying new foods

It is important to remember people with ASD tend to also have another mental health issue, such as anxiety or depression

Tendou - Depression and Anxiety (also a highly sensitive person - that’s not a mental health disorder or illness but it does affect him)

Tendou’s mental health suffered from a young age due to bullying in school

This caused a lot of low self-esteem and low mood, and he was later on diagnosed with depression and anxiety

Only his family, Ushijima and his coach know about this, and even then, only his family know any details

No one would really expect Tendou to deal with such mental health issues as he always keeps a bubbly, happy persona around others - he doesn’t want people to think he is weak or cowardly

It is also hard for others to see and he is someone with high-highs and low-lows, so when he is happy or excited his emotions are quite extreme

Tendou’s anxiety relates a lot to his image, mainly his appearance and the way he acts, but he is also a general over thinker

He doesn’t have panic attacks as often as Tsukishima does, however they do happen occasionally when things just get too much

He often thinks that people are staring at him, or talking about him whenever he goes out, and he tends to hid this by seeming overly cocky or sardonic

When his depression hits, he tends to just feel sad or hopeless instead of numb, which tends to trigger his anxiety too

Tendou used to self-harm often around his hips/thighs however he hasn’t done so since the end of his first year of high-school

Probably makes a lot of dark ‘jokes’, especially around suicide and people semi are like ‘...dude...you ok?’ and he’s just like ‘hahaha yeah im fine what’

He doesn’t like alone time too much as he tends to get trapped in his own thoughts

As expected of the guess monster, he is extremely good at reading and understanding people, which is how he finds it easier to help and communicate with Ushijima

Bokuto - ADHD

A lot of people at Fukurodani think Bokuto is just stupid, however he actually has ADHD

He was diagnosed a lot later than the rest at 12 years old

Bokuto tends to struggle with his studies as his attention-span is very low and can get distracted easily - either by things in the classroom or his own thoughts

He’s very forgetful, often forgetting his lunch at home or forgetting to do/bring in his homework, and this goes into volleyball too where he forgets how to do certain moves

Taking exams are the worst for Bokuto, he hates having to be still and quiet for such a long time and is very sensitive to little sounds or movements that distract his attention - you’ll often find his bouncing his leg or fiddling with his pen

He tends to butt into conversations or interrupt people when they are talking, he just gets a bit too enthusiastic to share his thoughts

He has extreme mood-swings too which we see often in the anime, especially when he is stressed or someone mentions his behaviours

Is very reckless - Akaashi has probably had to stop him from leaning too far out the window and almost falling to look something

The whole Fukurodani volleyball team are aware of his ADHD and do their best to help him and make him feel comfortable or accepted

They are the only people allowed to call him stupid - they will fight anyone else

I think there are more characters with mental health illnesses or disorders, such and Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kenma and Asahi having anxiety so I might write more at some point!

#jesus that was long #haikyuu #ushijima wakatoshi #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #bokuto koutaro #Tendou satori #Tendo Satori #headcannon #mental health #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu!!

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emiefaunwrites · 3 years

Note

Headcanons for Leon and Taka getting back together after their breakup?

Ah but of course! Last night was angst, this morning needs fluff. And what better way than to get the boys back together! For anyone who hasn't read my previous post, this might make a little less sense but probably not.

Oh also, my AU is set in a combination of Japan/UK/US sooooooo sorry if the holidays or anything are innacurate. I'm basing it off the UK holidays!

Oh also (again), the legal drinking age in my AU is 18 (because thats what it is in the UK) and first years (at least in my head) at Hope's Peak are 16. So they're about 18/19 in this so mild trigger warning of alcohol abuse - just mild though.

LETS DO IT! Thanks for the ask anon!

*******************************

• It takes them three weeks to get back together.

• Both of them are extremely embarrassed of their behaviour but are too stubborn to be the first to apologise.

• Taka busies himself with his studies, as expected. But he takes no breaks, forgets to eat and doesn't sleep properly. Basically just ignoring his health more than ever before.

• He tells himself its because he wasted enough time on a relationship that didn't work but he knows deep down that if he stopped to think even for a second, his brain will go back to Leon and he'll start to cry again.

• Leon, on the other hand, gives up entirely on his schoolwork.

• He finds himself going to out drinking every night, flirting with random people to get just a little bit of attention that he tells himself he wants but then waddles drunkenly back to his friends before it goes any further than just flirting.

• It's no surprise that everyone is worried about them but any time they try talking about it, they're either ignored or torn to shreds.

• The two weeks left at school before Easter break goes so slow, and then they're sent home for the two week break.

• Taka's dad knows immediately that something is wrong, but isn't the kind of man to drag information out of his son.

• So he casually asks at dinner on the first night if Leon will be visiting over the holidays.

• Taka stiffens, freezing in place while he tries to calm himself down and stop the tears that threaten to spill. And once he has, he puts his best game face and says:

• 'No. We aren't together anymore. And I would appreciate it if you didn't speak of him again.'

• Taka's dad nods silently, allowing Taka to continue eating. But he doesn't mean he isn't worried and doesn't take his eyes off him all through dinner.

• He taught Taka his game face, after all. So he knows that the tight lipped smile, the too intense gaze and the forced conversation is all just a front. And he knows that his son's heart is well and truly broken.

• Leon's family don't realise something's wrong for a couple of days. Leon's always been prone to mood swings so locking himself away in his room is nothing uncommon.

• It isn't until family film night that they spot it - the fact Leon is sat there but clearly not watching the film, glancing at the empty space next to him, scrunching up his face angrily whenever he feels the tears threaten. And then they realise that Leon hasn't spoken once about his boyfriend since he got home.

• 'Sweetheart...did something happen with Taka?'

• That's all it takes for the floodgates to open and Leon's sobbing. His mum moves fast, pulling him off the sofa and into her lap so she can rock him back and forth on the floor while his dad sits beside them and rubs his back soothingly.

• A few more days pass and it seems that EVERYTHING reminds the two of them at each other. Leon can't do anything without crying and Taka can't focus on his studies.

• And surprisingly, it's Taka's dad that takes action.

• After watching his son lose concentration on the same question for the tenth time in half an hour, he sighs heavily and forces Taka to tell him what happened. And finally Taka opens up, crying into his dad's shoulder.

• 'I m-miss him s-so much!'

• 'Why don't you talk to him? Tell him how you feel?'

• 'Because h-he HATES me! H-he doesn't w-want me back!'

• 'Have you even TRIED?'

• No. Taka hasn't tried. He's too frightened of what Leon will say.

• 'Do you want to live in a world of 'what if', Kiyotaka?'

• No. He doesn't.

• So he asks his dad to drive him to Leon's house and wait around the corner in case it goes badly. Which, as the good father Takaaki is, he does so without question.

• Taka walks nervously up to Leon's house, takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. And when Leon's mum answers, he bows politely and asks if Leon's home.

• He doesn't spot the warm smile on her face before she calls up the stairs and by the time he's stood back up, she's advising he goes to wait a little further away from the door so that when Leon comes out, they can talk in private.

• The wait nearly kills Taka so he goes over the speech he prepared on the journey: how they were both at fault, they need to work more on communication, that it'll be slow going but that he thinks they can make it work if they really try hard...

• But as Leon steps outside, hands awkwardly in his pockets, eyes on the ground, looking broken and lost, all those thoughts disappear and he just says:

• 'I love you.'

• He watches as Leon's lip trembles, watches as the tears start to fall, desperately wanting to hold him and comfort him. But he can't. Not yet. Not until he's sure he's wanted in return.

• But through the tears, Leon finally looks at him and smiles.

• 'I love you too.'

• Taka couldn't be held back by anyone. He charges forward, locking his arms around his boyfriend and scooping him up into his arms, both boys laughing through tears as Taka spins them around in relief.

• And from the window, Leon's parents dip away just as they go in for a long anticipated kiss.

• Of course, Taka stays the night - texting his dad once he's finally let Leon go to tell him what's happened.

• But he already knows. He'd been watching from the corner. And is already on the way home as Taka's text arrives.

• Leon imagines they're going to have an intense makeout session as soon as they're in his room. But as soon as the door is closed, he can see just how tired Taka is.

• So instead, he bundles them both under the cover and puts a film on.

• Taka does of course pepper Leon with kisses for as long as he can. But it isn't long before he falls asleep on his shoulder, the three weeks lack of proper sleep finally catching up with him.

• And everyone on Leon's social media gets a notification of a new photo: a fast asleep Taka with Leon holding him close, smiling lovingly into his hair. And the caption reads:

• 'Everything feels right again ❤❤❤❤❤'

#ishileon #leon kuwata #kiyotaka ishimaru #danganronpa #ask request

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husbandohunter · 3 years

Note

LMAO that’s why she’s called Kat. She’s not exactly the same as her brother. In terms of being very deadly in combat they’re both pretty similar, yes, they spar often, but Kat won’t go as far as mastering all weapons and picking a fight with strong looking people. Before Ajax fell into the abyss, his desire is to be an adventurer, explore the world and what not. But after the abyss, well things change. Kat knew that the minute she stare in her brother’s eyes, she knew she lost a part of him.

Her going on her merry way, exploring entire nations, meeting interesting people and over all just having a grand adventure was her way of fulfilling a part of Ajax that she thought she lost. She still loves her brother but she doesn’t know how to confront him with the past and the fatui. Speaking of the fatui, it’s not exactly hard to not suspect a few things. Honestly she doesn’t want to know, hopefully it won’t cause her too much in the long run.

For the most part she lived up to her Anemo Vision. She does what she wants with no regrets. Except on the topic of Ajax and his very questionable life choices. And you were right to assume that their parents have their hands full. Ajax likes adventure + Kat likes adventure = sneaking out a lot to have their own little adventures. Never mind the bone chilling climate of Snezhnaya or the fact this twins are getting pretty adept at climbing houses. Nothing stops them from rescuing a dragon and fighting a princess— no wait that doesn’t sound right.

In terms of sending souvenirs she actually doesn’t do that. Unless she’s going home then she’s sending the souvenirs in bulk. But if she’s still in her conquest of 100% exploration, one nation at a time, she’s only sending letters and recipes and for the sake of trolling her brother her will. Alright now for how she met Xiao. It’s actually pretty funny, after befriending Smiley by buttering him up with compliments he agreed to give her tips on cooking and teach her how to make their specialty dish. When she mastered that, it’s obviously going to lead with her making a few modifications here and there.

Once she’s finish with her version of Almond Tofu, she left it at one of the tables that give the best view on the balcony and went to fetch her Kamera. She’s planning on sending a photo to her family and the recipe. She went back to the balcony only to find her that her food is missing. It obviously piss her off that someone had the AUDACITY to steal from under her nose, her room was close to the balcony she would have caught them red handed!

At this point in time, she’s already a regular and a friendly face in Wangshu Inn. She stayed there whenever she investigate Sal Terrae and to collect horsetail for rice buns. So she’s comfortable whining like a child at Verr about how some punk stole her dinner last night. A very amused Verr told her about the Inn’s secret and Kat just dismissed it “Adeptus or not, won’t change the fact that they stole my food. They should learn some manners or something.”

She woke up the next day with an empty plate on her nightstand and a qingxin flower on it. All Kat could think at that moment was ‘Is this an apology or an insult?’ So that night she made an Almond Tofu. Her Almond Tofu. And she meet the adeptus that night as well. An unlikely friendship was born from this. I’m not gonna go into details because it’ll turn into a fic.

In summary though, their friendship dynamic consist of, a very free spirited woman with a Guardian Yaksha for a guard dog best non human friend. When the traveler arrived and also befriend the yaksha Kat wouldn’t help but feel possessive. They befriended him the same way she unintentionally did. So she cooly challenge them to a chess game, because fighting is her brother’s thunder and unlike some people she doesn’t steal anyone’s thunder. Also chess fights is what cool and sophisticated people do.

They were good, more than that! The traveler actually made things challenging and interesting. Before she or the traveler knew it, quite a few hours had pass already. The traveler was close to dozing off but Kat still wants to play. Despite that, her big sister instinct kicking in, she gently coaxed the traveler to rest. She comfort herself that there’s still tomorrow to continue the game.

Uggghhhh I knew I was gonna word vomit about this. Things might get funky in my ‘descriptions’ because it’s honestly getting dangerously close to being a fic.

-Birdie

Yeaaahh these two would totally make their mom go bald and their dad constantly scolding them for their behaviour or something 😭😭 but you know I think its nice that Childe can have a sibling who is similar to him rather than protecting them 24/7 while hiding his secret life. I think they would share each other's burdens from time to time due to how close they are, at least thats the vibe I'm getting at xP Knowing that Kat isn't as extreme as her brother tells me shes probably the one who has to look out for him the most.

Oh would you look at that, now theres two cooks in the family (the moment I found out that Childe can cook was canon had me melt and vaporize 🥺) Maybe both of them would also have cooking sessions than just fighting ones? Thats some wholesome family moments uwu. Your OC kind of reminds me of a mix with Xiangling and Hu Tao because of their cheery vibes, but compared to their bold attitude, Kat sounds more brave (I guess its cuz she grew up with Childe). Xiao is a scary looking guy whom barely anyone goes near, unless they brushed off that glare like dust and just continue being their cheery self (I honestly love that dynamic as you can see xD). But truthfully, Xiao needs someone who is like that because obviously he's too secluded to do it himself ._.

I think his first impressions of her would be "presumptuous" but later he gets used to her company and it even grows on him. Maybe I'm just over analyzing this, the fact they both have anemo visions show how different they handle it's meaning. One wants freedom and the other knows how to live in it (eeek! Okok i stop before this gets off topic). In addition to the traveler coming into the scene, I bet they'll also become good friends too! After all, they both share the burden of loving their siblings too much (perhaps traveler would find some familiarity in her presence).

Hehe this was a fun read tho \(^0^)/ thank you for sharing! Honestly even if I said this many times, I really love reading people's ideas since it helps me get my inspiration back >_< The word vomit had just begun my friend, you might wanna keep it in a notebook LOL.

#birdie #anon #nya does stuff

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amitojo · 4 years

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6 Steps to Overcome Fear / Self-Limiting Beliefs

6 Steps to Overcome Fear / Self-limiting Beliefs

At first, I didn’t think I’d write about this. The challenge to myself was to just post the video, that’s it. But witnessing such amazing response I thought I’d share more and give you a background of what was going on in my head and how I chose to go past my limiting belief.

I recently uploaded a video on all my social media profiles. This video was purely out of my commitment to my growth and me moving beyond my mind-made fears and limitations. If you haven’t watched the video — Watch it below 👇 (not for content but for context)

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Notice how I put “mind-made” in bold; it is because there are two kinds of fear. One is real, one is not.

One is life-threatening, like you falling down from a height or fear of crossing roads in fast moving traffic, etc.

The other fear is made by our mind to “protect” the ego, to keep us in a safe, comfortable place (emotionally). Basic example of mind-made fears is — one not raising their hand in class which is equivalent to one not sharing / communicating cause of fear of being judged. This fear encourages behaviour which is safe and comfortable. There’s not much to lose per se, but then there’s not much to gain as well.

Growth is outside the comfort zone. Growth is in doing things we’ve never done before, learning things we haven’t learnt before.

I am going to be talking about mind-made fear / self-limiting beliefs.

I am certain we all have gone beyond our mind-made fears / limitations some time or the other, out of necessity if not by choice. However, in this article, I will share the exact steps I took that inspired me to go beyond the limiting belief so it can be replicated and we can choose to move beyond our made up limitations at whim and not only when it is absolutely necessary.

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I thought of this idea (of sharing a video) last week. I remember I was in the shower, just contemplating life, dreams, goals.

I thought about my dream of leading/influencing people (leading, educating, training, DJing). That lead me to think about the repercussions of coronavirus on the music, entertainment, and training/education industry. How a lot of artists/leaders/trainers/educators are going “live” on various social medias to further their vision and provide value. I thought about how I could also do the same and that’s where I stopped. I immediately said to myself, “Nah, I can’t do that.”

I introspected, why can’t I do that?

The answer was fear of being judged.

Thats when I thought I’d take a step beyond this fear and upload a video.

One half of me (the higher-self) instantly agreed to do this as it saw all the possibilities, the bright side, how it will expand me. It took this as an opportunity. I thought to myself, here I am, one who dreams to perform in front of people, lead people, one who dreams of fame, etc, and I am not comfortable with myself?

How could I lead people when I am not confident about myself? How could I play in front of people if am not confident about myself? — To be specific — When I get conscious of people looking at me and listening to me! [I have been comfortable with 1 on 1 conversations but 1 to group, not that much — working on it]

I thought to myself — How could I be everything that I wanted and more without being completely comfortable with myself — be it with the way I look, the way I talk, the way I am in general.

I assume that all the people I aspire to be like — the ones who are leading, the ones who are performing, the ones who are comfortable putting out videos, etc, are like that because they are comfortable with themselves, how they are, who they are, and are confident about themselves.

I have got to own myself and accept myself as is, I thought to myself! This is it, this is me!

Extra motivation came in the form of the realisation that I will be able to share / contribute much more value via video on top of what I am and will be providing through just writing.

So I said to myself — challenge accepted!

I took this idea as a stepping stone to achieve my goals and dreams.

The other half of me (the ego), however, did not like this idea at all! It was not confident about this. It thought this idea was stupid, pointless. It’s funny how the ego was giving me two contradicting reasons to stop me from recording and uploading the video.

People will make fun of you. You’ll look like an idiot. No one cares about your upload or what you’re doing, etc.

You are just doing this to satisfy your ego (lol) [I read somewhere, as we learn more, become smarter, our egos do too. #JusSharin]

Basically anything to get me not to do this.

My ego was asking me not to take any action — to protect itself. I had a lot of reasons not to do this, one of the main ones being — “what will people say or think?” (Hence I took around a week to upload a 30-second video. I did it nonetheless.)

This question of “what will people think/say?” alone has stopped me from living my best life since forever. I get present to this thought’s deep-rooted nature in my life, in my way of being each day. I get present to the impact it has on my life, the opportunity costs and it drives me to move ahead, go beyond this dialogue and be/do/say whatever I want to be/do/say. [It does, a lot of times, make me feel like a loser too, I won’t lie— mainly when I accept the limitations and I don’t take any action. ]

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”

Benjamin Disraeli

I have been on a conscious journey of self-expression since 2013, I think.

Self expression for me = to be, do, say who I am, what/how I feel — unapologetically.

I have noticed how I suppress my thoughts, emotions, point of views and I am actively working on communicating the same.

I have come a long way from where I was back then, no doubt, but there is still a long way to go!

3-4 years back, I gave myself a challenge to write about my feelings, share my journey, my point of views. I was pretty nervous back when I started. It was new for me. But it was a small step towards self-expression. Once I did start writing however, it felt freeing and I got really positive response from people around me. Now I am pretty comfortable with that — so much so that I started a blog!

Now, I gave myself another challenge — to put out a video of me on social media.

This meant A LOT to me. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I am not one of those who post their pictures, selfies, or post videos of themselves or go live. I’m not comfortable getting clicked… So, posting a video which I took of myself — online? 😅

But I did it. And you know what, I felt great. I respect myself more. I love myself more. I am proud of myself.

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So down to business, 6 steps I used to overcome my fear / self-limiting belief

Identify the fear / limiting belief

Get present to the impact it has had on your life till now.

Get present to its impact in the future, if things remain the same — the opportunity costs

Imagine if you didn’t have that fear — what would you be/do/say? How would you look like? How would life look like?

Ask yourself, what is one thing you could do today that would take you closer to that you/life without fear? One step to take you beyond that fear/limitation. It could be a baby step.

Take that step and acknowledge / celebrate it (It is extremely important to acknowledge and celebrate. Success breeds success. — Small victories form momentum and bring about big victories.)

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Lao Tzu

I took the baby steps and I love myself for that. I feel powerful. I guess the most powerful feeling is when you go beyond your own limitations; when you prove it to yourself that YOU CAN DO IT! That’s a different kind of high.

I felt so good and freeing after posting the video and receiving the amazing response, that I made a youtube channel! 😂

PLIS Subscribe 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9hui_ukYf811voHO6HrT1g?

Also, I used the above-mentioned method to start waking up at 5am!!! I don’t know if you know, but I have always considered myself a night person. It was effortless for me to stay up till 4,5,6 am and the best time to sleep for me was when the sun was rising. My closest friends call me DK (Dark Knight) cause I always meet them late at night, nothing to do with the fact that I usually wear the color Black (haha). I never saw myself as a morning person, but now I am waking up at 5 am 2-3 times a week. My aim is to wake up at 4 am on weekdays at least.

Late nights were productive (when I was at home). Late night is a good time to work because there’s little to no distractions. Same is the case with waking up early morning though. There is little to no distraction And trust me when I say this — the most productive days of MY LIFE have been when I woke up at 4/5 am!

*Bonus Tips*

If your mind says you can’t do it — Look for other people who have done what you’re committed to doing. If they can do it, you can do it! (Learn how they did it, what worked for them)

Repeat! — If you keep repeating the 6 steps, be it in any area of life, for any reason — you will not recognize yourself when you look back. The amount of growth and expansion you will achieve is going to be insane.

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To conclude, this method did work for me in different areas of life and I believe it will work for you too if you apply it as per the steps outlined above.

Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t see results right away though, it is a journey. Be patient, and more importantly, be consistent with your effort and never give up (characteristics of the people who succeed).

Start with baby steps. I am certain that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to!

Extremely important note — ***All of this (me sharing and expressing my point of views), is possible because of the amazing listening and reception I get from my community (both online and offline) — my friends, family — all the generous, loving, and supportive people who have made this journey of self-expression, self-awareness so pleasant, peaceful and joyous. Thank you so much for being so supportive and encouraging always! Means A LOT!***

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you 🙏

Lots of love!

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