#james dates regulus to kill time while him and lily are on a break and to build reg's confidence | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

futurecorps3 · 1 year

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𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭

Masterlist<3

Summary: Sirius and reader finally get together and it's time for dinner at the Potter's! Pairing: Sirius Black x fem!reader Warnings: Idk if it counts as a warning but there's Remus x Regulus for a quick second because I really just couldn't help myself HAHA, and brief mentions of war. Let me know if I missed any! Word Count: 2.8k Requested: Yes A/N: This request is so lovely,, I want to bawl my eyes out. Thank you so much @siriuslyjanhvi for this sweet little piece <3 hope u like it.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* "Darling, are you almost done? I don't want to rush you but- shit." His leg stopped bouncing and if his anatomy allowed it, his jaw would be on the floor. Y/N stood there in the black silk dress and chunky heels of the same color she got on their shopping trip last week, clumsily fidgeting with the silver necklace as she'd been too stubborn to ask for her boyfriend's help sooner. "I'm sorry love, it's just this stupid necklace clip won't...well, clip. Can you help me?"

Sirius stood behind her and gently took the metal piece off her fingers, noticing the retouched black nail polish now matching with his. "You look gorgeous," he mumbled, easily fixing the simple looking yet fancy piece of jewelry around her neck and placing a kiss on her shoulder blade. Y/N turned around, wrapping her arms next to his head as he cradled her waist. They've spent so many hours like this since they started dating -and even a little more before- it now feels too natural not to do it when facing each other.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Pads" the girl smiled cheekily, pecking his nose and pulling away from his grasp. "Let's go. Lily will kill us if she finds out we're late because we spent too much time 'gazing into each other's eyes' as she says we do." Sirius laughed airily, grabbing the coat she was clearly forgetting and fixing his hair one last time in the mirror before exiting their bedroom.

As they got into the cab and drove through the rainy streets of London, the boy looked over to Y/N who was intently staring at the droplets of water in the window. Anyone else would've guessed she was looking out into the sidewalk or small businesses along the road, but he knew better. He knew her. Sirius' mind then wandered to all those years he spent staring.

Staring at the way her cheeks reddened when he'd throw one of his seemingly meaningless flirtatious comments. Staring at how her hands contorted when writing, the specific position they had and how much strength she was applying in order for the parchment to stay intact but her letters to be clear. Staring at her as the sun came up on Hogwarts's rooftops and lit up her face beautifully, making him believe in that god his muggle friends mentioned so often.

Oh, how much time he had wasted! But he was too daft to realize little Y/N Y/L/N felt exactly the same way about him. She stared too. Lily once told him after he confessed that she sometimes zoned-out when thinking or staring too hard at him. They were equally whipped for each other and their friends even thought of running a bet on who'd break first. Sirius did and James, Peter, Marlene and Regulus would be fifty galleons richer to this day if the bet would've been concealed.

He felt his hand being squeezed, now actually staring at her and not lost thinking about her while his eyes happened to be directed in her direction. "M'sorry. What?" "I'm really nervous," she giggled anxiously and just then he realized she was tapping her feet lightly on the car's carpet. "Love, they've known you for years! Us moving together let alone dating won't change how they perceive you" "I know, it's just... Euphemia and Fleamont were too polite as to say anything last time we were over for movie night and I noticed little reaction from either of them!" That was over six months ago and they had been dating for four prior to that. After said night, the couple had independently seen Jame's parents, but not really together as a couple.

Euphemia had made small comments around the time they moved in together and Sirius figured she was trying to be respectful of his pace to formally introduce the lively girl they knew all too well as his girlfriend. That day was today. "We're going to be fine, my dear. They're well aware of what's been going on with us... consider this dinner to be merely a catch-up." She let out a breath she didn't know was holding and squeezed his hand again in confirmation.

Soon, the cab stopped. They both walked out after Sirius payed the man, almost giving him galleons. The Potter household had been some kind of sanctuary during the past few years, Y/N recalled as the warm lights bled outside. Inviting. Tender. Just like the family, the house sheltered. "Y'ready darling?" she asked now, as if she was not shitless scared herself. "Let's go," Sirius nodded, taking her hand in his once again and walking firmly towards the door.

The boy walked the few cobble stone steps that led to the entrance and knocked twice. "If it isn't the Blacks!" James smiled, engulfing his best friends in a bone-crushing hug, as always. He had this on-going joke after he proposed to Lily (and she said yes) that Sirius' had to pop the question to Y/N soon and referred to them as "The Blacks" every time they saw each other. "Hello, Jamie" Y/N giggled, kissing his cheek and stepping inside, letting her boyfriend's boyfriend and boyfriend hug for a little longer.

She looked over to the living room and found Remus sitting in one of the green and yellow corduroy couches, smoking a fag he quickly put out in the glass ashtray when she walked in, knowing there was nothing she despised more than the smell of smoke after she quit. Y/N's heart warmed at the action and opened her arms as the lycanthrope approached her. "Hello, sweetheart" he mumbled against her scalp "Hi, baby".

To anyone outside their circle, the interactions Y/L/N and Lupin had might've seemed odd; the nicknames, the regular physical touch, or the constant acts of service. Some could've thought they were dating and certainly there were more than best friends. They were in love with each other as one's in love with pretty flowers or sunsets. Purely platonic, but with a passion that could exterminate kingdoms if given the time. Almost like James's love for Sirius and vice versa.

"Have you tried the coffee?" he asked, pulling away while keeping an arm draped around her shoulders and pressing his mouth against her head. Y/N peered up at him with excitement in her eyes at the thought of the Colombian coffee Remus had gifted her. She looked forward to drinking a cup or two every morning. "It's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love how you can bite into some tiny pieces of the coffee beans that remain after brewing it". Moony laughed at that, knowing exactly what she was referring to.

"It's great," Sirius' voice was heard as he was standing in front of them now. Remus smirked at his best friend. "I recall I bought that for Y/N/N, not for you, you nasty dog". Y/N's boyfriend barked a laugh and hugged him while roughly patting his back. "Good to see you too, Moons" he said between chuckles before pulling away.

"Mum and dad are in the kitchen, feel like making your grand entrance lovebirds?" James asked from afar, already walking towards said area with Remus trailing behind him. With Remus's warm embrace and how loved her friends made her feel, the stress she had been going through for the past days hours washed away. It was just Euphemia and Fleamont. It was just the Potters. They'd be okay.

Y/N looked at Sirius with expectancy in her eyes and a promise on her lips; they were ready. They held hands, squeezed his lightly and stepped to where their friends were. The spicy smell of whatever James's mom was cooking filled their nostrils, almost making them sneeze. She loved to experiment with them. Lily sat at the table, waving them briefly before she directed her gaze at her in-laws to see their reactions.

Euphemia and Fleamont stopped the meaningless, playful argument they were having about the dish in question and just stared. The silence made the fright come back. She wasn't sure if the sweat that now made her hands wet was from Sirius or from her (or both), Y/N sported a timid smile. "Mum, dad..." her boyfriend started, tightening her grip around her hand "...this is my girlfriend, Y/N". Remus couldn't help but giggle at his mate's behavior. "They know her already Pa-" "I know." He stated all too sure of himself, everyone except his parents laughing.

"Merlin" Euphemia sighed, walking towards them and stopping right there. "My babies!" he squealed, hugging them both just like James had when he greeted them. Y/N could barely return the hug before Euphemia cupped her face while smiling. Then she turned to look at Sirius. "Took you long enough! I thought I'd die before seeing you two together." She smiled wholeheartedly as the others laughed and uttered small agreements.

Fleamont then approached the girl, a knowing eye in his gaze as he always knew Y/N had a thing for Sirius. "I'm thrilled for you kids" he spoke, deep voice lazed in kindness just like the boy he raised. "Y/N was a nervous wreck before we got here," Sirius teased, and his girlfriend looked at him with wide eyes. He did not. "Why!? There's absolutely no reason for you to be-" "Your son's a liar, Euphemia. Come on, let's set the table boys" she cut off, glaring daggers at her lover as he responded by blowing her a kiss with a little wink and an arrogant smirk.

James's mom couldn't help but smile at the exchange. After some time, everyone sat at the table, eager to taste whatever the 'oh so great matriarch' (Lily's drunk praises) had prepared for them. Y/N sat next to her boyfriend, Lily, James and Remus on their other side and their parents sat on both vertical sides of the table. Sirius always left a seat next to him in case his brother showed up.

Naturally, he received invitations whenever these little gatherings would occur since he stuck around his boyfriend, but wouldn't show up or otherwise politely decline. Remus wasn't too bothered by it, knowing he had a hard time settling calmly in "enemy" lines with the whole deal of him being a spy for the Order. They all hoped he'd walk through their door one day... so, until then, the seat would remain intact.

"Be careful, it's burning hot" Euphemia warned, taking her place at the dinner table and smiling sweetly at everyone. "Here, darling" Sirius said, placing a napkin on Y/N's legs and as James noticed the gesture, did the same for Lily. His dad chuckled at that before everyone digged in.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Oh, I have one!" Her boyfriend said, patting his feet eagerly on the floor when Euphemia asked for anecdotes of their Hogwarts youth now that they got older and could disclose the details they all kept hidden when they were younger. "My dear girlfriend was advised by some former booger goblin that goes by the name of Lily Evans to take a shot of firewhiskey for confidence when playing truth or dare on Christmas break-"

"Oh no" Y/N facepalmed in embarrassment at the memory as her cheeks turned red. "-so she'd dare me to kiss her!" Remus groaned, knowing where the story ended. The room fell silent, Sirius and Y/N looking daringly at each other. The girl mouthed something, and he shook his head no, continuing with his story after his girlfriend rolled her eyes playfully.

"So, we are all sitting in the common room, merely cheery as miss Y/N is fully drunk from too many confidence shots and it's her turn to dare me... Mum, any guesses on what happened?" Sirius quizzed the woman on his right and she tried hard to guess.

"Your first kiss!" she exclaimed, eager to hear the end of the story as she and her husband remained ignorant of the situation when all the others knew it by heart. "No..." Sirius grinned as James made a buzzing sound like the one of the alarm on that shitty game show he watched with his fiancé. Batting his eyelashes at Y/N, her boyfriend graciously requested "Care to finish the story, babe?".

Theatrical silence fell into the room, broken by a giggle when the secret glance the couple shared (only Euphemia could perceive) became too much for the girl. "I chickened out and made Remus and Siri kiss...". James bursted out in laughter along with his father. His mom gasped and snickered as Remus smirked with Sirius grinning in satisfaction with his arms crossed around his chest, leaning back on his chair.

"I mean, there was a first kiss, right?" Y/N laughed, looking at her boyfriend. "You'd make a lovely couple, guys!" Fleamont said jokingly, and Moony gagged at the mere thought of dating his brother-in-law. "Oh come on Moons! Even mum agrees. Maybe you'll get lucky enough to be with the handsomer brother in the next life... Y/N/N won in this one" Y/N loved couldn't stand his audacity and delivered a well-deserved smack on the back of his head that had everyone laughing. "Kiss it better" Sirius demanded, leaning in as she pecked his head.

The moment came for everyone to move on to independent conversations, too invested in varied topics. "Mum, you're staring" James smiled, unbeknownst to the couple in question who were now gossiping amongst themselves about anything and everything. "They're perfect for each other, Jamie... He looks at her with adoration and so does she. I'm glad they found each other just like you did with Lils" she nodded, an honest smile adorning her cheeks.

The rest of the evening was spent in laughter, wine and enjoyable conversations, and, as Sirius stared over at the people he held most dear in the universe, he found his heart was full. For many years, this is what he'd wish for every night; a family. Back at the place those people dared to call home, the boy felt misplaced. Lost, like a coin someone dropped behind the couch and is never to be found. He had a family now, and he hoped he'd be able to keep it perpetually.

Around eleven; Remus left, the boys were smoking a cigarette outside, Lily was sleeping on the couch since she had been oddly tired in the past few days and Y/N along with Euphemia were washing the dishes.

"You look happy" the older woman said, passing her another wet dish Y/N dried with a red washcloth. "I am. I'm wearing the smile he gives me" she nodded and Euphemia giggled. "Everyone seemed to know except you guys, growing up" "What gave it away?" Y/N flushed "Eye contact is way more intimate than words will ever be and we always try to hide our feelings but we forget our eyes can speak; you stared a bit too long to be just friends".

The water on the sink started going down the drain with a funny sound as they both wiped away "When he confessed he said he had loved me every day of every month of every year since and asked if I had a single idea of how much he wanted to grab my face and kiss my god dammed mouth. I felt like the biggest fool... and a bit sad we lost so much time" Y/N reflected at the memory of her love spitting those words like a madman.

"Oh darling, you didn't lose time! Everything happens at the time that's meant to happen... it was certainly a excruciating long one in your case, but few couples have the connection you do. You're best friends. I see the secret glances and the pure interest when the other opens their mouth, no matter what they'll talk about. He's right; you're lucky to have him, and Sirius is lucky to have you." Euphemia rambled, the dishes long forgotten.

Y/N smiled, seeing a new perspective on a matter that had been in her head since they had started dating. Time only made the connection stronger. "Thanks, mum" she mumbled as the woman pecked her forehead "You're welcome, baby".

Meanwhile, outside, two best friends and their dad were having a very serious conversation. "It's been three weeks!" Fleamont exclaimed, puffing the smoke out his lungs "I know, I know... your baby boy has been non-stop bugging me about the matter since I got it" the raven haired boy snickered, flicking his second cig down to the floor and stepping on it. "I just don't get why it's taken you so long! What? Are you afraid she's gonna say no?" James now chimed in.

Sirius took the small velvet box out of his jacket, opening it and staring at the ring as he had been for the past month. He was absolutely fucking terrified. Not of her saying no. He knew she'd say yes... hell, even if she proposed he'd say yes in this lifetime and in the next trillion ones. "I just want it to be perfect. She deserves perfect".

Sirius Black ended up proposing to Y/N Y/L/N on a Tuesday morning over coffee. They hadn't slept at all the night before, and when the sun came up with the light bleeding into their shared home, he was looking at her. That was perfect.

And she said yes.

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ourloveisforthelovely · 2 months

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The Words "Best Friends" Become Redefined Part 6

Regulus Black AU

Summary: You had been Regulus’ friend since childhood and now his mistress. The war had changed many things, Regulus among them. Now its time to decide if you should put your self-worth over missing someone who was gone.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M- smut

Link to Part 5

Song in chapter: Narcissistic Cannibal by Korn

_____

Over the following few weeks, Regulus kept up his promise. He was trying harder to gain your approval and affection than anyone else in the world ever had. You were waking up to flowers on your bedside table, cutesy little notes, and requests for dates. As long as you had known Regulus, you had never seen him work this hard for a woman.

And I can’t be more flattered

You thought with a smile after waking up to the newest bouquet of flowers on your table.

If only I could make myself fully trust him.

The second thought was enough to make the dark thoughts return…as they typically did. Even though Regulus was working hard to gain your affection, parts of you still worried that once you fully trusted him he would go cold again. You weren’t sure if your heart could honestly take another letdown from the man you loved so much.

Love is a funny word.

Love truly felt funny for you to say. You had always been aware of its existence and had always been exposed to it. Remus loved Sirius. James loved Lily. Your parents truly loved each other but for some reason, love didn’t seem to like you. While you understood that Regulus did what he did for a reason (at least, that is what he told you) you still felt nervous to accept what Regulus was offering to you now.

What if you said yes and he changed his mind? What if he went dark again? Would you be able to handle the thought of him in those death eater robes again? What if he went back to his family and the dark side and was killed? You wouldn’t be able to handle it. You would need to die right along with him.

I’ll have to decide something soon. The poor man is really going out of his way.

You got out of bed to get ready for the day’s activities, a trip to Azkaban. You didn’t want to go back but orders from Moody said you were.

“Might as well get this over with.”

(later that day)

Regulus sat at the table brooding over a cup of coffee when Sirius plopped down in front of him.

“Good day, star shine.”

Regulus looked up at his brother before flipping him off. Sirius made a fake offended expression before putting a hand on his heart.

“How rude! What the fuck is wrong with you? Did Y/n not fluff your pillows last night?”

Regulus groaned. He would love for you to “fluff his pillows.” It had been so long since he was able to touch you and it was driving him nuts. While he was trying to respect your decision to move slowly (or that was the way that he was taking it) he was going nutty. Now here Sirius sat trying to be funny but no one was laughing….

“Yeah right.”

Regulus grumbled. Sirius leaned back in his seat. He wasn’t a fool. Sirius knew exactly what you were doing and what Regulus was being put through.

“Look Reg, you can’t blame her. Y/n has been through a lot. She’s loved you for a long time.”

Regulus groaned again.

“I’m aware, Sirius.”

Sirius was quiet for a moment. He watched his younger brother carefully. Sirius knew Regulus was trying. Regulus was trying harder than he had ever tried at anything in his life.

Sirius had a lot of things that he wanted to say to Regulus. He wanted to threaten him to not break your heart again. Sirius couldn’t sit back and watch that happen over and over. He also wanted to tell Regulus how proud of him he was. It was the total flipside of the coin.

Regulus, in all of his years, didn’t seem as self-absorbed as he once did. For once, Regulus was trying to put someone else first. Sirius could also see that Regulus, in fact, had feelings. Regulus wasn’t the stuck-up House of Black heir…and Sirius couldn’t be more proud of him.

“You really love her don’t you?”

Regulus nodded.

“More than anything. I know you don’t believe me but I did everything that I did for a reason. As I told Y/n, I knew that she would have followed me anywhere. I did not want to see her dead or in prison for supporting me. If she had been killed, my life would be over. Y/n is my reason for existing. Without her, I would walk out in front of a muggle bus.”

Sirius sat quietly for a moment.

“First off, no walking out in front of muggle buses. I can not process that one. I know Y/n is giving you a heck of a time but keep trying. She’s like Remus. You have to keep working through those layers. I know Y/n very well and she loves you. Maybe you should make a move?”

“Yeah and get my head kicked in…I’m feeling a lot of love…”

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of loud music coming from the living room. Sirius glanced over his shoulder before smirking.

“Your wife is home…and judging by what’s coming from the living room it sounds like she’s had a bad day. You should go check on her…”

Regulus quickly stood up before going into the living room where you lay, rather dramatically, with one arm over your eyes.

Sometimes I hate the life I made Everything's wrong every time Pushing on, I can't escape Everything that comes my way Is haunting me, taking its sweet time Holding on, I'm lost in a haze Fighting life to the end of my days

Regulus blinked a few times before walking over to the stereo and shutting it off. You lowered your arm slowly and gave him a little frown.

“Why did you turn my music off?”

Regulus moved to sit down beside you on the couch as you put your arm once again over your face.

“I take it you had a bad day?”

You whined.

“Something like that. I had to go to Azkaban and that place just sucks the joy right out of you.”

Regulus tilted his head to the side before tentatively reaching out and taking your free hand in his. He gently stroked his thumb over the palm of your hand rubbing soothing circles.

“Did you use your patronus?”

You nodded.

“I’m still exhausted though. Random fun fact, my patronus is still your animagus form.”

Regulus slightly smiled as you lowered your am taking in his reaction.

“I’m sure if I could make one again mine would still be yours too.”

You moved your eyes to look at the ceiling.

“Reg, I can’t keep doing it.”

“Doing what?”

Regulus questioned, his voice darkening. You turned to look at him again taking in his appearance. The man in front of you was Regulus, your Regulus. It felt as if you were sitting here with your best friend… like nothing had changed. You truly missed this feeling.

“This…trying to keep up some tough front with you. I’ve missed you so much. Now we are in this house together all the time. You are going to new heights to prove yourself. I love you, Regulus but I’m scared to get hurt again. I need to rant so work with me here. I’m scared that I’m going to open my heart and you will leave to go back to them. I’m scared that I am going to see you in those death eater robes again…or in the morgue. I don’t want to have to see you be put into some fancy coffin knowing that I will never see you again…”

You were relieved to see Regulus’ mouth drop. He quickly moved to sit on his knees to stroke his fingers down your cheek.

“Y/n, love, I promise I will not be going back to that side. I saw the error in my old ways of thinking. I am not going anywhere. Does it make you feel better knowing that I feel the same way every time you leave this house for work? Love, you are a bit of a crazy girl. Sometimes your antics are rather…wild. I know you have a hard time trusting me and I don’t blame you but I’m here…with you now.”

You moved to sit up and slide your way down onto Regulus’ lap. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you tentatively pressed your forehead to his. You wanted to preserve the moment of closeness as long as you could. Regulus snuggled his face right back wanting the same thing.

“I want you to be the good guy.”

Regulus placed a hand on the side of your face.

“I’m being the good guy now.”

Sirius’ suggestion of “maybe you need to make a move” popped back into Regulus’ mind. He took a breath before leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. To Regulus’ surprise, you didn’t push him away or panic, instead you kissed him back. Every moment of the kiss was exactly what Regulus needed.

“I want you, Reggie.”

You moaned against his mouth. Regulus sighed.

“I don’t want you to regret it and ruin all of this progress we’ve made.”

You chuckled, softly while twirling your fingers in Regulus’ curls.

“I’ve really put you through hell haven’t I, darling?”

Regulus shrugged.

“I mean…I have been jacking off in the shower more than I ever did as a teenager. That and I have been fawning over you pathetically…ask my brother.”

You gave Regulus another small kiss before glancing over his shoulder. The last thing that you wanted was for Remus to see Regulus toting you up to your room. Sure, Remus had an idea that you were going to get back with Regulus eventually. That, however, didn’t mean that he needed to see it.

“Why don’t we go upstairs and fix that?”

You suggested. Regulus waited all of three seconds before picking you up and going upstairs.

_____

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allamericanb-tch · 10 days

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art heist, baby! thoughts (1)

doing this for every fic i read apparently. did i read half of this in one sitting? yes. will i finish the rest of it tonight? also probably yes.

chapter 1

i am So Excited To Read This

james! ahhhh

remus! ahhhh

remus being a bowie fan in every AU

james just being james

wait is james going to steal art because he’s Broke ?! i’m here for it honestly

ooooh is it regulus

or sirius

brazil mention!

oh! money laundering!

IT IS REGULUS!! AHHH!!!

not james already falling for regulus you haven’t even MET the man you spoke on the phone BRIEFLY this is so james of james to do. james jameses like no other

chapter 2

remus 😭😭 i mean valid. james is being very. james.

“You’re going to get murdered and wind up on some true-crime podcast” that’s the dream isn’t it

“and not because he didn’t know how to parallel park.” REAL does anyone actually know how to parallel park

is sirius the Other Man

james being In Love with regulus ALREADY still

he got the job! was there ever any doubt

ahhh i wonder who’s on their “team”

EVAN!!!!!

barty mention!

james. dear sweet james.

evan is so real.

i’m sorry the old james can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh! cause he’s dead!

appreciation for these end notes

“Regulus: Do this art heist with me or I will kill you and not feel bad abt it at all

James: You're so lovely. So pretty. So beautiful.”

chapter 3

new hampshire ?! (🎶i’m mean because i grew up in new england🎶) (sincere apologies to the amount of times i break into song in my ‘[fanfic] thoughts’ things i genuinely cannot help myself i’m a stereotypical choir kid and a former theater kid)

no way james is just gonna abandon remus. he doesn’t have it in him.

ok remus (?)

GRANT MENTION!!!!!!

THE DRIVER IS NAMED KREACHER 😭

REMUS?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE this is hilarious

lily!!!!!!!! i would know that red hair anywhere

“James was panicking. Why was everyone so hot?” this is the best line that has ever and will ever be written

marlene!!!

james is so lovestruck (🎶got lovestruck went straight to my head got lovesick all over my bed🎶)

“Alright, so what have you two been in jail for,” i’m in love with you marlene mckinnon

remus and marlene

PETER i lowkey forgot about peter

“James wasn’t sure what he thought of Regulus other than that he felt general splendour whenever they made eye contact.”

chapter 4

the summary: “James just stares at Regulus, like a lot. Like A LOT a lot.”

remus not being able to sleep on planes is so real

i love new england so much (i have never been)

“No relationships were permitted among group members. Absolutely no sex either.” yeah there’s no way this rule will be broken. nope.

“Remus believed it to be a cardinal sin to write in the margins of books and kept a separate journal to document his thoughts while reading.” remus it’s okay to be wrong sometimes

THEYRE LEARNING AMERICAN ACCENTS 😭😭

“Remus was already teasing him mercilessly claiming he had the ‘hots for teacher’” i love remus

james being a little exhibitionist

james 😭😭

the art history is art historying

the jegulus is jegulusing

i was gonna stop here but the end notes say we get sirius in the next chapter so now i HAVE to read it

chapter 5

oh hanky panky in this chapter ?!

frank!!!

omg are they detectives ahhhh enemies to lovers wolfstar ?!

PANDORA!!!!

wolfstar?! wolfstar.

ahhhhhhhhhh (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

moony!

oh, remus.

peter being a helpful icon

chapter 6

everyone helping james pick an outfit for his ‘date’ ahhhh

“you do look nice” AHHHH

regulus likes oranges!!!!!!! he’s just like me fr

REGULUS BEING A CHILDHOOD DIRECTIONER HELP

james would like harry best

their favorite colors being red and green <3

of course regulus would like that painting

james: “i would steal that painting for you”

regulus just. forgetting he’s driving.

the jegulus is jegulusing

chapter 7

“It’s not even cooking, you literally had to put the bread in the toaster and remember to pull it out,” Remus fumed again.

“Your father should’ve remembered to pull it out.”

james being a teachers pet

eeeee wolfstar

they’re both david bowie fans AS THEY SHOULD BE

oh no 😟

peter and james being lifesavers

eeeee they’re throwing a party

“I want a nice house, a house with a family and enough money for that house to be on the tropical beach somewhere. I want enough money so that nothing will go wrong that can’t be fixed.” peter’s just like me fr

them bonding >>>

dorlene!

JAMES WHAT ARE YOU DOING

not james ratting everyone out to regulus

eeeeee jegulus

KISS GUYS COME ON

chapter 8

sirius!

sirius is down bad

i love fralice

sirius making The Joke will never not be funny

their date <3

pandora!

REGULUS ?! what are you doing here babe

REGULUS STOLE SIRIUS’ FAVORITE PAINTING OMG

oooh they’re arguing

SIRIUS GOT SHOT?!

gasp

chapter 9

i like that the chapters are short

“nothing much, just 1.2 million” yeah regulus that’s nothing…

ooooh dorlene i love them

regulus just drowning the bathroom

the painting

jegulus ❤️‍🩹

THEYRE HUGGING

“Oh, James thought. So this is what he was supposed to do. This is what his arms were made for, to hold Regulus Black for as long as he wanted. Until the last day. Until forever.”

a hug from james fleabag potter would solve all of my problems

chapter 10

barty calling everyone criminals and common whores

guns this is so america core

“mary mary quite contrary” mention

i love barty and evan so much

oh my god. did james make regulus orange muffins AHHHHH i love james so much omg

ahhhh jegulus

pinky promise ❤️‍🩹

ok i need to read another. i would not be surprised if i read this all in one sitting.

chapter 11

sirius pov!

their childhood ☹️

wolfstar ❤️‍🩹

not remus reading anna karenina 😭

😧

remus just. lying. to regulus

i love james.

nooo he and sirius have to be sneaky now ☹️

oh no remus and james are fighting ☹️

ok they aren’t fighting anymore.

james potter, defender of love and lovers everywhere.

chapter 12

another short chapter! i actually love short chapters so much

this fic is lowkey making me want to steal art

james and peter passing notes i love them

oh my 😭

chapter 13

will this be the chapter james and regulus kiss (pleaseeee)

ahhhhh their date

james can’t ride a bike 😭

minor spelling mistake 🤬

james and regulus bonding

ahhhh jegulus is jegulusing

LUCIUS?! boooo get outta here

the paddle

ahhh i’m nervous for the auction

ahhh regulus not moving his hand

they’re flirting

aghhhhh they need to kiss

chapter 14

wolfstar is so illicit affairs

ahhhhhhhh (!!!!!!!!!)

yeah sirius would have a motorcycle tattoo

chapter 15

HANKY PANKY IN THIS CHAPTER?! PLEASE LET IT BE JEGULUS OH MY GOD

guys my heart is beating omg

omg they’re painting each other that’s so cute

brazil mention! i love brazil

THEYRE KISSING!!!!!!!!

oh.

oh!!!

AHHHH!!!!!!!

giggling my feet so hard rn

chapter 16

jegulus is JEGULUSING

guys does this fic actually get sad or

because i’m almost halfway done and i have not felt one emotion other than HAPPINESS

regulus ☹️

oh no lily what’s happening

remus ?!

regulus being jealous of lily 😭 please sweetie lily is very obviously a lesbian and i love her and MARYLILY

regulus being a donna tartt lover

chapter 17

i’m getting nervous (hamilton ref ?!)

what is regulus yapping about

oh ?!

a coffee shop ?! the wolfstar coffee shop perchance ?!

so it seems

oh me oh my

oh ?!

WHAT

oh. my. god.

trojan horse ?!

ok yeah

guys i’m scared

chapter 18

remus ?!

guys i’m scared

ahh

evan 😭

nooooo why is this not only happiness anymore

regulus just being a hypocrite

oh me oh my

the lack of question marks in this dialogue is absolutely heinous but i’m willing to look past it because this fic is so good

marlene 😭😭

“Then, the sun peaked above the horizon and the tea went cold and Regulus was alone.” ☹️☹️

i can’t do this anymore i need a break and it isn’t even getting BAD yet

#art heist baby

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goodfornothingstar · 2 months

Text

A prongsfoot Au request for all the wonderful writers...

Muggle au with James and Sirius being the part of different gangs.

James whose parents are murdered when he was 13 at the hands of tom riddle because they came up on a gang secret. He hates that man Vows to kill the people responsible.

He joins Dumbledore's gang which is like a gang for the greater good. To maintain peace in society and only kills the bad people. Also is like robbin hood. Unlike the opposing gang which does criminal act for fun.

Dumbles orders James to infiltrate the opposing gang as their crime rate increases. James is to get intel. For this he is tasked to seduce Sirius Black, whom he hates personally for having something he doesn't. A family. For being rich and spoiled.

Meanwhile Lily who is a civillian he has been asking out for so long has agreed to date him finally but he declines her knowing that he has to fake date someone else. And he maybe a gangster but he has morals. He tells her that he has a job abroad for a few months. They both agree to wait a few months to start something new.

And when James meets Sirius his mind blews away. He finds out that there is so mich more to this guy. And without realising he starts to fall in love with him.

Sirius is in love and has always wanted to leave but didn't have the motivation for it. Now he comes out clear to James about his background and his hate for this life and decision to leave. Love gives him courage to act upon his desire to just be done with his shitty life as a gangster.

Meanwhile James just is in denial and still thinks that he is not caught up in the feelings. He feels guilty for using Sirius and playing with his feelings. To that effect he breaks up with Sirius without giving him any reason while to dumbledore and gang he lies that sirius is the one who ended things. The mission ends and he begins half heartedly dating lily who soon falls in love with his act. He doesn't tells her that he is a gang member for obvious reason.

James comes to the epiphany that his relationship with lily is nothing but a big pile of lies on his side as he soon begins to understand that he was so wrong in ever asking her out. Not only because he is ruined for everyone after Sirius but also because lily has a simple life which he shouldn't have entered knowing he is a gangster.

Sirius meanwhile is heartbroken and lost. Bellatrix who is quite fed up from his cousin being all mopey decides to confront james. As a gangster she feels that they can have anyone and wants to bring back james to Sirius by any means possible.

But soon she learns that james is himself a part of their enemy gang. Making her smell fishy business. To get to know what actually happened she sends regulus to remus doing the same wooing thing to find out. Remus is a member of dumbledores gang too.

Remus soon falls for regulus. Only this time it is completely one sided. Once regulus learns what happened he makes sure to let remus knows that he feels nothing for remus but pity and that he never loved him. Regulus was already dating barty jr. all this time whom he loves to death. They both had a great laugh.

Feelings humiliated remus decides to revenge. He plans to kidnap regulus and bring him for torture to their gang. But due to some issue sirius gets kidnapped. Remus does not get deterred knowing that Black family really loves Sirius and they will suffer if Sirius is hurt. Thus indirectly hurting regulus.

After a couple of days of torture Remus decide to bring James in who is his friend thinking that James would love to finish his mission. On learning James goes absolutely feral and finally acknowledges that he is in love with sirius. So much so that he beats remus into a pulp for hurting his man.

Sirius hates James for dumping him and blames him for the kidnap and torture. All while James just wants to nurse his love to health under the nose of dumbledore. While Black family is going crazy because of a missing member.

The angst of knowing that Sirius hates him is killling James so he delivers him back to his family after a few days.

Meanwhile lily learns of her boyfriends gangster career. She gives James the ultimatum to leave the gang Or else.

James feels that he can't run away from the grave he has dug for himself when lily means so little to him. He feels he has to be part of the gang to be closer to sirius somehow. Thye break up. He tells her that he is in love with someone else.

Later lily learns that she is the daughter of the head of the rival gang head tom riddle and her mother had kept her hidden. Riddle on meeting her tells her that he would do anything to make her part of his life as his daughter. Lily, the avenging angel that she is tells riddle that she would accept her position as the next in line if he would bring her Sirius black's head and make James Potter marry her.

On the other hand Remus informs dumbledore of jamess treacherous act. Dumbles is very strict on moles orders to kill James on sight.

Peter whi worships James and is his side kick helps him from their own gang.

Meanwhile the Black family is enraged on learning that riddle wants to make a show of killing Sirius for his suddenly arrived daughter. They unite to save their son and seek james's help once again to keep him protected as all of them are heavily watched.

James for the first time opens up to Sirius. Tells him everything true about himself and his past and his reasoning and his love. His regret and his guilt.

Sirius who has a blind spot for James forgives him after making James earn it.

James tries to convince Sirius to run away with him but Sirius wants revenge. From riddle for James. From Dumbledore. From remus.

They begin a third gang and decide to go full on war.

Their drama full journey with a happy ending

#prongsfoot #bambibelle #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #lily evans #alternate universe #story prompt #story ideas #story requests

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animegeek-101 · 2 years

Text

But sirius-ly(hehe(^~^) y'all cannot say that this theory ain't correct:

Regulus secretly liked James but never acted on it and when he found out James and Lily were dating he joined the dark side because there was no hope for him (I mean his brother left him a year ago, the guy he likes is in love with a girl and everyone else in his life at the time was on the dark side so exactly what options did he have(my point proven)) but James unexpectedly meets him one day and ends up confessing his love for Reggie and they started to date secretly and while James wanted to break up with Lily, Regulus was assigned on the mission that got him killed and James was heart-broken but couldn't mourn much because he recently found out his parents had contacted dragon pox and their dying wish was to have a grandchild and so that resulted to James marrying Lily that same year and they gave birth to harry the next year but when harry was one years old, the bald voldy came to kill them all and James had really missed Reggie and saw this as an opportunity to see him again so he purposely went after the bald voldy without his wand knowing he would get killed and he would see Reg.

~in the afterlife~

So now Lily has to watch as Regulus and James snog each other senseless while praying Mary should hurry up and die, but eventually Snape dies and now lily and Snape both watch regulus and James snog each other senseless while praying Mary and Lucius hurry up and die respectively (Snape: for fvcks sake Lucius you're in fvcking azkaban, just die already). Long story short everyone dies and they all live a life as gays. Which are Wolfstar, Jegulus, Marly, Dorlene, Rosekiller, Snucius, Drarry, Blairon, Pansmione and Linny.

But to be honest 1977-1981 was a very stressful, painful and sad period for James Potter imagine losing your true love, losing your parents and getting married to the girlfriend you cheated on for a year plus all in one year (1979)man that is fvcked up.

A/N; if any of you dont agree with this IGNORE IT!!! I did my own fair share of research and ain't nobody gon' give hate comments as a reward.

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lupiningwolves · 3 years

Text

Not without him | Regulus Black x fem!reader

summary: Y/N Potter and Regulus Black...

warnings: character death, mentions of death, mentions of food, angst

—

Seven years ago, a little eleven year old girl walked through the Great Hall. The students from the four houses watched every move the first years made. But two boys were more curious about what was about to happen. Two best friends watched as their younger siblings walked behind Professor McGonagall.

„Are you nervous?“, asked the black haired boy that walked next to Y/N. She nodded nervous. He took her hand and smiled warmly at her. „It‘s gonna be alright.“

„Thank you“, she said. When McGonagall stopped before the teachers table, she announced what will happen. But Y/N already knew. Just one year ago, her brother wrote excitedly a letter to her, saying that he was put in Gryffindor and already made friends.

„Regulus Black“, McGonagall shouted. All eyes turned to the boy that slowly let go of the girls hand, smiled weakly at her and walked to the Sorting Hat.

He sat down and McGonagall was about to put it on his head. It just touched his black hair as it shouted: „Slytherin!“ The girl felt her heart sink for a moment. The Slytherin table cheered loudly while all the other tables stayed silent.

It felt like an eternity until her name was called. „Y/N Potter.“ She walked to the Professor and waited until the hat was on her head.

„Mhm, ah, alright ...“ She had never been more nervous in her life. „Let’s make it - Gryffindor!“ She smile bright and went to the Gryffindors that we’re more than happy to have the other Potter in their house.

„Y/N.“ Her brother smiled at her and hugged her.

„Jamesie“, she responded.

„I‘m so proud of you“, he muttered. He let her go again and faced his best friends. „Y/N, that’s Remus, Peter and Sirius.“

„Hi“, Peter said smiling and Remus waved at her. But Sirius said nothing.

The boys looked at him worried and talked to him about his brother being a Slytherin. The girl didn’t take part in the conversation, but sure listened to what they said.

And when she laid in her bed at her first night at Hogwarts, she decided to became friends with him. A friendship between a Gryffindor and Slytherin, especially a Potter and a Black, was difficult. But not impossible.

During her first year, Y/N slowly but steady became friends with Regulus. And by the start of second year, the two were inseparable.

„Regulus“, she beamed as she saw him at the Hogwarts Express. She wanted to go to him, but her brother held her back.

„Not now, Y/N. He‘ll come along. Just like Sirius will.“ She nodded sadly.

Sat alone in a compartment, she waited for him to come, just like he promised before holiday. But when the train started moving, she lost all hope.

With her head against the window, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come over her. But nothing happened.

„Is here still a seat for me?“ Y/N smiled as she heard the voice and looked to the door.

„Reggie.“ She got up and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. „I missed you.“

„I missed you too, Y/N.“

In her third year, Y/N found out about all the stuff that was going on at the Black house.

She just wanted to use the toilet when she saw her best friend crying in Moaning Myrtles bathroom.

„Reggie“, she breathed out. He raised his head from inbetween his knees that were pulled up to his chest.

„Y/N, I - You shouldn’t have seen me like this.“ He wiped his tears away, but a sob escaped his lips.

Y/N slowly made her way to him to give him time to decide, if he wants her here. But when he didn’t say anything, she kneeled down next to him and wrapped her arms tight around him.

„It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here now. You have me and always will. Shh“, she whispered in his ear. „Do you want to talk about it?“

Regulus didn’t want to. But he knew her better than anybody else and was sure that she would want him to talk anyway. So he told her everything.

In the end, both of them were crying and in each other’s arms.

„Come on. I got a good friend that has more chocolate than books. And let me tell you, that means he has a lot of chocolate.“ She got up and pulled him to his feet. Then, she dragged him to the Gryffindor tower and sneaked into the dorm of her brother where she stole a few chocolate bars.

In fifth year, Y/N started listening more to what the people around her said. And what they said was that she and Regulus were in a relationship.

Before summer, she didn’t think that she could actually be in love with him. But the more time she thought about it, she was sure that the butterflies in her stomach when she thought about him and the jealousy when she saw another girl talking to him, were love.

And who better ask for help than the most lucky person in love herself.

„James, I kinda need you help in something“, she had said.

„What’s on?“

„I - I think I‘m in love.“ The older boy‘s eyes had widened at his sister’s confession.

„Who is it - No, I already know it“, he had corrected himself. „Well, my dear sister, just talk to him I guess. I could ask Sirius if he knows anything.“

The girl had smiled. „You‘d do that?“

„Anything for my little sister.“

So she thought the whole summer about how to confess her feeling towards her crush.

When the teachers talked about their upcoming O.W.L.s, Y/N found herself watching Regulus as he twirled his quill between his fingers.

One time in the library, Y/N studied for the last O.W.L when Regulus sat down in front of her, a big smile across his face.

„Guess what?“, he asked happy.

„What?“ She was happy too, because she had never this such a big smile on his lips.

„I got a date.“ Her heart sunk and her face fell. But she reminded herself that she was his best friend, so she forced herself to a smile.

„Really? Must be a lucky girl then.“

„Yeah, she is amazing“, he said deep in thought. „She isn’t a Slytherin, Mother and Father are going to kill me. But she is worth it. She is beautiful. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen. When I saw her the first time in first year, I knew she was going to be the one I marry.“ His smile grew and grew by his words. And Y/N thought she was going to cry. „She was nervous, you know. I saw it on her face when she walked down the Great Hall. So I took her hand.“

She realised what he was about to say. „Wait - W-What?“

„You, Y/N. Sometimes I wonder how you’re one of the best in all classes. I thought it was obvious.“ She shook your head still in shock. „Well, Darling, you and me are going to Hogsmeade together.“

„We always do, Dumbass“, she retorted.

„We are going out. As in I like you and you like me back more than friends.“

„I‘d be more than happy about that, Mr Black.“

Their relationship wasn’t easy, not at all. They were happy when they had one day without a comment from anyone. When Regulus was back home during summer, he told his parents. And the owl that reached Y/N made her look herself in her room for days.

She was more than happy to see him in September. She thought about breaking up with him. The comments from all around them made her insecure about herself and their relationship. And, more important, his health and relationship with his parents worried her the most.

So she decided to talk to him after a few weeks back at Hogwarts.

„Reggie, can we talk for a second?“, she asked him when she was sure that he was done with eating dinner.

„What - Yeah, of course.“ He wasn’t sure why his girlfriend was so nervous. When they walked out of the Great Hall he wanted to take her hand, but she pulled it away.

„We need to break up“, she said when they were in the safe space of her dorm room.

His face fell. „What? Why?“

Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw the sad look on his face. „Reggie, please. You need to understand that-“ He cut her off.

„There is nothing to understand, Y/N. I thought we were doing fine“, he said not so calmly anymore. „What is it? Is there somebody else?“

„What?! No, you know I would never love someone else. There will always be just you.“

„Then why?! Is it the others? The comments?“ She didn’t say anything, but Regulus knew by the look on her face that it was exactly what had got her upset. „Y/N, don’t listen to them. They’re all idiots. I love you, okay?“ Both of them froze at what he said. „I didn’t want you to know this way, but yes, I love you. More than anything in the world. So please, give us another chance. I‘ll do everything to make this work.“

She stepped forward to hug him. „I love you too“, she said against his chest. „I’m sorry.“

„Don’t be, pretty girl. I know it gets hard sometimes.“

Regulus and Y/N. After Sirius and Remus the most beautiful couple. Even Lily and James looked bad against them. They went through hell, but still got each other.

When James graduated, Regulus took James part in keeping everything bad away from her. And she kept away the demons that followed him. But there was one thing she couldn’t stop.

He was a death eater.

He told her immediately when he got the mark. She was angry and sad. But not at him, at his stupid family that made him do what he did.

After they graduated, Regulus bought them a small flat near the one Remus and Sirius got. All of them became friends because of Y/N and James. But Sirius still hadn’t got over the fact that his brother was one of them.

But Regulus and Y/N were happy. More than that, they were engaged. No one from the black family knew, except Sirius of course. They wanted to wait until after the war to get married.

All happy and giggling, Y/N came back from her parents to Sirius and Remus‘ flat where everyone was supposed to meet. Regulus said he‘d be there too.

She opened the door and took her shoes off. „I‘m here!“, she beamed and went to the living room. Remus had Sirius in his arms while he was silently crying. James sat on a chair with his face buried in his hands. She heard the girls talking in the kitchen. „What’s going on?“

They looked up at her confused. „Y/N“, James whispered. „You haven’t -“

„I haven’t what?“, she asked worried. She had never seen Sirius crying before. „Where is Reggie? I thought he was coming too?“ Sirius broke down again and a tear escaped her eye.

James got up and hugged her. „I‘m so sorry, Y/N.“

She got out from his grip and looked at him. „What is going on? Where is he?“

„He’s dead, Y/N“, her brother whispered as the girls came in the kitchen and abruptly stopped when they saw the younger girl.

But she didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t believe it. „When this is one of your pranks, James, I swear to my life ...“ But her brother was serious.

„We‘re so sorry, Y/N“, Lily said. She went to hug her, but she backed away.

„That’s not true“, she muttered. „You’re lying. I talked to him this morning. He said he’d meet me here. He said he couldn’t wait until the wedding. He - H-He-“ A sob escaped her lips and tears flooded over her cheeks. „Please“, she looked around the room and saw everyone’s sad gaze. „No“, she mumbled.

Her knees gave in and before she could fall to the ground, her brother caught her and pulled her in his embrace. „I’m right here. Shh.“

„He can’t leave me“, she sobbed into his chest. „He- He said he’d never leave me. Never. Why? Why did he lie?“ More tears ran down her face. She could barely breath. „I loved him.“

„I know. He loved you too. So much“, her brother said and stroked her hair. „It’s gonna be alright.“

„Nothing is gonna be alright! He’s gone! He is gone.“ She whispered the last part as her voice broke. „I can’t live without him.“

„You can, Y/N. It’s gonna be a rough time. But we’re all here for you. We can get through this together.“

But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to live without him. Not without the love of her life.

#regulus black #regulus black angst #regulus black x reader #marauders era x reader #marauders #marauders x reader

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marauderspog · 3 years

Note

I could go with knowing Regulus' birthday tho. Trying to make it up with astrology and funky number pseudoscience is fun but you know. :D

There’s a lot of dates for his birthday in the fandom so I thought I’d take a stab at working it out.

His birthday has to be between September 1960 and August 1961 to work with him being canonically a year below the Marauders.

Regulus Black - Birthday Headcanons

WARNING: I KNOW NOTHING OF ASTRONOMY, ASTROLOGY OR ANY OTHER STAR RELATED THING. I KNOW MATHS , LOGIC AND MARAUDERS HEADCANONS THO, SO LETS GO

~ 1st September 1960 ~

Young Regulus and Sirius being annoyed that Reggie is only just in the year below

‘Mother, can’t Reggie just come to school early?’

Sirius really did not want to go to Hogwarts on his first day, because it would mean leaving Reggie alone on his birthday

They both got up really early to sneak outside, look at the stars and let Reggie open his present

Later that day, it was just him and Kreacher so they had a little tea party to celebrate not that his parents would ever acknowledge his birthday

Birthday party on the Hogwarts Express every year after that

~ 26th September 1960 ~

Regulus is the heart of the lion headcanon one!

His birthday is half a year away from James, and James will never let him live it down

‘Sorry babe, you can drink when your older’

‘I’m only fucking 6 months younger than you, and bloody taller, you prick’

One of the oldest in his year and basically a parent to the younger years, and helping calm them down when some older years pick on them

~ 25th December 1960 ~

His parents celebrate neither his birthday nor Christmas so it was just the Black cousins and Kreacher celebrating on that day when they were younger

When Hogwarts came around, the Marauders found about Regulus’ birthday around fifth year, cut to all of them staying at school over the Christmas break that year

The Great Hall was decorated with tinsel and a birthday banner, and Reggie almost broke into tears

Started calling it ‘Regmas’ as a joke, but it stuck

Reggie finally got to experience both a Christmas and a birthday and he couldn’t be happier

The next year, there was some presents from certain Hogwarts professors besides the familiar wrapping of Reggie’s favourite house elf

All house elves are invited to the birthday party

James kept making mistletoe jokes until the girls trick him into getting under it with Reggie, let’s just say they were blushing for hours after

~ 31st December 1960 ~

Born at around 11PM on the 31st so he’s barely born in 1960

Attends a Marauders New Year party during his fifth year and keeps smiling to himself because it’s the first birthday he’s been with more than two people

Sirius gets drunk and tells everyone how happy he is that his baby brother is growing up

Drunk Marauders sing Harry Birthday and Reggie almost cries of happiness

So many party games, including truth or dare where James ends up confessing

‘Prongs, kiss the hottest person in the room’

‘Sirius...’

‘I’m flattered, but I love Moony’

‘Ew, no mate, no offence, but I was gonna ask if you’d kill me if I kissed Reggie?’

‘Oh go ahead- WAIT, REGGIE?! THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER!’

‘Ignore him, please go ahead, love’

~ 28th February 1961 ~

Wanted it to be 29th of February but sadly 1961 is not a leap year, so this is an adapted version of that idea

Reggie being born at midnight on the 28th, so him and Sirius can never work out when to celebrate

On leap years, they’re so fucking confused about when to celebrate since they barely ever are allowed to celebrate at home

Reggie just pretends that his birthday has already gone when anyone asks to save them the trouble

Even when they weren’t speaking, Sirius makes sure to send a letter to Reggie at midnight on the 1st, to remind his brother that he’s always there

Most years Reggie just sneaks out of his dorm on his birthday to hang out with the house elves at midnight

One time he bumped into James, so it became a tradition for them to spend the night laughing and chatting in the kitchen or library

James just likes seeing Reggie comfortable and happy

~ 27th March 1961 ~

Regulus is the heart of the lion headcanon 2!

Birthday is the same day as James’

Sirius makes jokes that his two second favourite people share a birthday (the first is obviously Remus)

James and Reggie alternate what they do on their birthday, but usually end the day cuddled up on James’ bed talking about quidditch

After James graduates, Regulus is invited round for their birthday (as well as all their friends obviously)

Euphemia and Fleamont absolutely love Reggie, they buy him presents and invite him to come over more often after telling him many embarrassing stories about James while James blushes

~ Any Date in May 2061 ~

According to things I’ve seen please don’t quote me on this Regulus is most visible in May

Birthday stargazing with James using cheesy lines and Regulus reciting facts he was taught as a kid as they cuddle under a blanket

Birthday dates to Hogsmead with James, getting many sweets to share in the library later that day

Birthday quidditch matches where James promises not to go easy on Reggie and fucking panics one year when Reggie falls off his broom and ends up in the hospital wing

James just freaks out and refused to leave Reggie’s side, even after being told everything was fine

James and their friends end up bringing duvets and pillows down so they don’t have to leave Reggie alone

Remus and Lily find a spell to project muggle films on the wall for all of them to watch Regulus, Sirius and Mel are fascinated

~ 31st August 1961 ~

No one knowing when Regulus’ birthday is because it’s already happened the day before they go back to school

James is outraged when he finds out that the Marauders have never been able to celebrate his birthday in school

So they start making the first day of school Reggie’s honorary birthday with a giant sleepover in the Gryffindor common room

So many baby Black jokes, which Reggie fucking hates

‘Sirius I’m fucking taller than you, if anyone’s the baby it’s you’

First time they celebrate his birthday outside of school, James takes him to see a quidditch match, then to the local pub to see the rest of their friends, and finally back to their flat for Reggie to read the books he got for his birthday

~ Literally Any Date From September 1st to August 31st ~

I tried to find a correlation between November 3rd (Sirius’ birthday) and the Sirius star

Couldn’t really find anything (again I don’t know astronomy so please feel free to prove me wrong if you do!)

Only thing I saw was that Sirius is apparently more visible in Winter, but November is technically in Autumn so wasn’t really anything with that

By that logic, She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named could have made his birthday any date with no reasoning but we’re not gonna accept that

So any date for his birthday is acceptable!

SPEECH - SIRIUS, JAMES, REGULUS

Feel free to comment which birthday you prefer, even if it isn’t one listened! And sorry if I got some astronomy things wrong, please correct me if I’m wrong and I will happily edit this post accordingly!

174 notes · View notes

embrassemoi · 3 years

Text

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 23

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader CW: Drinking, slight internalized homophobia A/N: The first part dives into Lily's sexuality. It’s pretty innocent but may make readers uncomfortable. If you want to skip, go past the line break and I bolded the words ‘Round round get around’ for when it’s ‘safe’ to continue!

Chap 23 Playlist

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 23: The Daily Quarrel

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Lily always considered herself to be calm, rational and level-headed, that’s what made her a great prefect and student. But over the last five months, Lily felt herself becoming everything but that.

Lily never concerned herself with dating. Of course, she’d entertained the thought. She had crushes before, many crushes, and dabbled in the idea of romance, love, dates and commitment. Especially now as it seemed like the older she got, those around her fell into relationships and quick snogs in the broom closet that she was forced to break up one too many times. If she were to date, she didn’t want to force it. Lily wanted it to come naturally. It was never that important. If it happened, it happened, and she would welcome it with open arms.

But recently, it was all she could think about.

At first, it was a passing thought. Boys — dating — and then other things she thought she buried deep down began to resurface.

Girls, by every definition, were beautiful. Lily would admire the way they style their hair or religious headwear, how they carried themselves with such effortless grace that they never seemed to notice themselves. Girls, women; Lily thought they were thoughtful, kind and more respectful than men. She felt loads more comfortable around them before her thoughts began to turn more obscure — until her mind quickly shut it down and interjected that she just wanted to be close friends.

That was an utter lie.

It’s not like Lily didn’t feel any sort of attraction towards boys. She did, very much and had feelings both romantic and well… er — unleashed a plethora of other feelings. Lily was not opposed to holding hands, kissing or cuddling them, she really liked the idea and felt herself grow warm. She would do all sorts of things with the right boy. But there was something so exciting, yet frightening when the idea of hand-holding, kissing and cuddling with Y/N. That certainly left Lily with sweaty palms, heart racing and a flustered mess.

Whenever she held her hands, went around holding her arm in the halls, or crept into each other’s beds at night, Lily felt like a puddle of nerves.

She’s managed to force a smile most of the time whenever improper thoughts surfaced. She could be alone, walking the hallways for her prefect duties and something would pop up: when her fingers ran through Lily’s scalp when she brushed her hair. Her smile. Her eyes… her damn eyes… All she thought about these days was her. How was Y/N doing? She’s so funny! Would she like the way she styled her robes today? How would she look on top of — ARGH! Lily was mortified half the time.

Let’s just say that it was a gradual realization.

Lily wasn’t stupid, far from it and knew what was happening and it left her on complete edge, especially around Y/N. It left her face scarlet red and felt as if her chest was about to burst into a bloody mess. She couldn’t even look or be anywhere near her sometimes because it was too overwhelming.

But her feelings… Lily grew up being taught that she wasn’t supposed to feel this way for another girl, let alone both boys and girls...

Her heart, mind, morals, feelings, everything she believed in was at war. Lily felt herself change inside and out. It’s always been there, those… emotions — and suddenly it just ripped at the seams. Y/N was just the tipping point.

But why did it feel like such a crime for something so innocent? Something that is supposed to be beautiful?

And Y/N… out of all people!

It had been a very tiring and stressful school year so far.

Potter’s birthday had coincided with Gryffindor’s win against Hufflepuff and thus, a joint party was thrown. Lily watched from the sidelines as Y/N’s back faced her. The glowing of lights, all charmed red, immersed her as she snapped an abundance of photos of a very plastered Potter having the time of his life. He stood on a table, drunkenly singing.

Another bright flash went off and she brought the camera down, took the photo and shook it. A wide smile plastered on her face as she watched the photo develop and her body shook with laughter. But as if Y/N knew Lily was staring, her head swivelled around with a smile so blinding that it hurt Lily’s heart; now filled with hot shame again.

She shouted over the loud music. “Petals! C’mon, let loose for once!” She pointed to the cup in hand.

Lily looked down, looking at the amber liquid filled to the brim of her cup, untouched. Her gaze looked back, giving her a shy thumbs-up and brought the cup to her lips. The bitter taste of Firewhiskey burned before spreading warmly through her. But, Y/N’s reaction was worth it.

Lily tried to still her heart as she ripped her gaze away. Y/N made her feel everything but calm, rational and level-headed. It was terrifying.

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‘Round round get around, I get around, yeah

(Get around round round I get around, ooh-ooh) I get around’

“Hip-hip —” James bellowed, raising a glass filled with Firewhiskey in the air.

“HOORAY!” The Gryffindors roared back.

“Hip-hip —”

Throughout the night, Sirius danced with probably every girl there before he went to turn the record player louder, re-filling his glass. He watched as James hopped off the table and made his way to Emmeline, peppering her skin with sloppy kisses that made her laugh and eyes crinkle.

They all officially met her that night. She’s sweet, kind and they found out she’s just as crazy as James in the love department and they seemed beyond happy.

Peter was there, who looked at the two, almost enviously, faced stained red before solemnly bobbing his head to the music. Sirius didn’t think much of it, instead just passed it off as a sad drunk.

‘I'm gettin' bugged driving up and down the same old strip

I gotta find a new place where the kids are hip’

Sirius cringed; he was never a fan of the Beach Boys but Wormtail and Prongs loved it…

Students jumped, rocking to the blasting music. Some talked, some were snogging, others tipsy or drunk. Sirius grinned from ear to ears as he looked around the room, searching for Remus. He was already a pole light, he would stick out like a sore thumb. But instead of Remus, Sirius’ eyes settled on L/N; film in hand, talking to another student. He was blond, a year above them, large in stature and Sirius recognized him from the Gryffindor tryouts back in September. Aldrich McLaggen.

His face was beat red as he chatted with L/N, his hand toying with the sleeves as he looked her up and down, wearing a flirtatious yet apprehensive grin. The bastard was flirting with her.

Sirius felt himself grip his glass tighter than normal, his free hand bunched into a tight ball while pressing firmly to his side. Neither she nor Sirius spoke, aside from their Puffskein assignment and it was killing him. From the discomfort or wishing they had kissed that night — he didn’t know. But it was tortuously awkward.

“Padfoot,” came a voice. Remus leant against a nearby table as he sipped his drink. No matter how much he seemed to drink, Remus was able to knock back drinks after drinks without it affecting him. Sirius envied that but then the thought passed, eyes settling on L/N.

“Moomy.”

Remus followed Sirius’ eyes, scrutinizing the situation.

“She’s so annoying,” said Sirius. He didn’t even mean to speak, it just slipped out.

Remus’ brow rose. “Talking about this, again? She’s not. L/N’s my friend and I like her.”

Sirius shook his head. “She’s insufferable. Who does she think she is?!”

“... Who?”

“Just look at her!” Sirius exclaimed, using large hand movements. “She acts like she owns the place. Just because she’s new she assumes she’s better than everyone else! And —” Sirius continued to rant but Remus blocked him out, head shaking.

Fucking idoit, Remus thinks. He wants to slap Sirius silly. When will he stop talking about her?

“— taking all of my friends: Prongs, Lily, Marlene, Wormy, you! I was —”

“You sound like a child.”

“— so smart. The Slugclub? All filled with stuffy pricks — except you and Lily — the kicker, I’ve seen her with Regulus! A Slytherin! Come on. That’s just asking for —”

“Padfoot —”

“— don’t understand how —”

“Crikey! Sirius!” Remus scolded. Sirius went quiet, intimidated by him. Remus took a deep inhale, his eyes fluttering shut but asked, “Why do you hate her? Is it because of that fucking rejection because —”

“What?!” Sirius’s voice cuts, loud and booming to the point where several heads swirled to look at him.

Remus looked at them, making hand movements to shoo them off. “Mind your business.”

“Moony, you know me! Come on! Sure, I’m a dick, but I’m not that much of a dick!”

“Then what is it? It can’t just be that she’s annoying.” Of course, Remus was right again. Always so blunt and never failed to be clear-cut.

Remus then tipped back his drink in one go without a flinch and left Sirius’ side. He’d much rather do his prefect duties than listen to him go on about the same conversation for what seemed like the eighth time that week. With Sirius left to sulk, he sighed and looked back to the scene, feeling irrational jealousy bubble up.

L/N laughed at whatever McLaggen said, who leant into her ear. What an obvious bloke.

Maybe it was because of the mix of alcohol that made Sirius place his cup down and stride up to them, but even he knew it wasn’t just the Firewhiskey.

“I’ve always wanted to visit. How was it like living —”

“McLaggen.” Sirius’ voice came out gruff and cold.

Both their heads turned towards him and she sent him a look, telling him to go. But too stubborn, he stayed put.

“Um… Black. Hello,” McLaggen responded. Sirius continued to stand tall, body language closed off, telling him silently to leave.

Tosser. Pillock. Daft bimbo lookin’ arse —

The boy coughed awkwardly and threw L/N a tight-lipped smile. “See you!” She nodded her head, giving a small, friendly wave. “Bye!”

Sirius took his place instantly. “Finally, you said something right for once. He’s a git.”

L/N’s face scrunched up in confusion. She sent daggers his way and he had to stop himself from smirking. “Surprise,” he drawled, hands going up to shake in jazz hands. “You seem happy to see me.”

“Why are you talking to me? People might think we’re friends.”

“Like we were ever just friends.”

Her mouth hung open after registering what he said and Sirius felt like using an unforgivable curse on himself. Did he have to bring it up like that?

Sirius was all over the place with his thoughts. Point blank, he didn’t know what the fuck was happening. He so badly wanted to draw near, to touch her and hear that damn laughter, but did he?

His… very unwelcomed feelings — whatever they were, were beginning to get in the way of his already messy life. Was it the chase that made him feel so electric, the need to dive into someone else to cover up his own problems? Was this him dabbling in his unhealthy behaviours and would this just set him back? Sirius wasn’t sure and he walked a fine line.

Humans, especially those like Sirius, are social beings. Like most people, they craved recognition, approval and constant reassurance from those around them. People want to fit in that desired image but struggle to find happiness — lost in that perceived image they chase. Desired reality… it’s like a mirage. The constant back and forth only drained him and it had been more apparent than ever since the break. That pretty packaged Sirius — was that him subconsciously crawling its way out, making him lose the little progress he’s made by continuing whatever this was? A game, his true feelings or a way to be social, to fill that void settled deep within his chest?

But he doesn’t think so, and that freaked him out even more. What scared him was that he wanted to get to know all the little parts of her, no matter how much he tried to deny it. It felt like a mantra playing in his head, questions about her he wanted answered. But he could never be sure.

L/N remained silent and he cut in, trying to cover up his internal dilemma.

“Now look who’s the quiet one.”

“Be more conceited, will you?”

“Insolent brat.”

She grinds her jaw aggressively, to the point where he swears he can hear bones crunching but she holds back from a snarky comment. His mouth opens, ready to add on before L/N turns around to survey the room. He watches as she looks up to James and back to him and then a small, separate room that’s cut off from the main room. The last thing either wanted was to ruin James’ night or cause a scene. “Follow me.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, teasingly staying back a beat before another Gryffindor girl comes up to him. He’d danced with her earlier. “Pretty boy,” she greets, “Fancy another dance?”

Sirius’ eyes travel to L/N who’s eyes hardened as she stomped back up to him. “Sorry, but pretty boy” her voice dripping in obvious sarcasm, “Has somewhere to be.” Then, she tugged on the hem of his sweater and the action had Sirius’s heart flutter. He let her lead him through the crowd, nearing the room.

“Pretty boy? So you do think I’m pretty?” He smirked, watching her duck her head to prevent him from seeing her reaction.

Out of the entire student body he could’ve had feelings for — feelings he’s never felt before that caused him to go speechless, heart speeding and the urge to inch closer — it had to be her? She never knew how to take a joke either! How James and Remus were so fond of her, he didn’t know.

She shoved him into the small room, casting Muffliato. It was ill-lit, the only source of luminosity were the red lights seeping in the cracks of the door and the small window; twinkling stars shining just enough. The mixture of lights made her look alluring.

“What do you want?” Her voice is passive-aggressive.

You, he reckons. Or maybe a permanent silencing charm to never have to hear her speak again. Either seemed great.

Her eyes rolled, impatient as he remained silent. “Could you be anymore… confusing? You’re hot and cold! First, you’re nice to me, then mean. Then come up to me, ruin my conversation with Aldrich and now you’re silent.”

“Fine. I don’t want to be here with you, happy?”

“Like you didn’t start this.”

“It’s not my fault you’re infuriating, constantly running your mouth.”

She takes a deep breath, her hands rubbing her face and let’s out a frustrated groan. Her eyes snap back open, “I hate you.” The silence was loud.

Sirius felt himself freeze, eyes turning half-lidded as he took a few steps towards her. She backed up, sliver of a smile there. His chest rose, breathing deeply, “Say that again.”

L/N looked up at him with those eyes he swore looked right through him. Simply being that close made him feel as if he ran a marathon. Then, a wicked, yet timid grin worms its way on her face. Their soft breaths were tense, like if either were too loud, everything would come crashing down.

She repeats. “I hate —”

She doesn’t finish her statement as Sirius pressed himself against her, pushing her back but snakes a hand to prevent her head from hitting the jagged wall.

His voice was low. “Are you sure you want to say that again?”

Her breath hitches. He grins. She swallows. “I. Hate. Y—”

Each syllable was hushed as Sirius pressed his lips onto hers, gentle, sweet and hesitant, contradicting compared to their banter.

When the initial shock wore off, he felt Y/N respond to the kiss, deepening it. Her lips parted and Sirius slid his tongue inside. She was a bit clumsy, hesitant but eager. Sirius smirked at her. Everything felt startling, incredible and better than what Sirius imagined it to ever be like. He felt like a firecracker, a warm feeling spreading through his veins like fire.

She’s soft, incredibly so. His free hand went to roam around before settling on the base of her back, stroking the soft skin up and down. Her hand is threaded through his hair just hard enough that he has to bite back a groan. Her other hand is pressed firmly onto his chest and god — she feels so good.

To Y/N, Sirius tastes like what you think he would taste like. He tastes expensive, smells really good and his kisses are a lot softer than she expected — the very opposite of him: energetic, rough, messy and wild. Instead it’s delicate, sweet and velvety.

She’s the first to pull back and Sirius can’t help but move his head to try and catch her lips but settles on pressing his forehead against hers.

Their soft pants fill the air and Sirius feels like screaming. His skin is boiling and she looks beyond enthralling. Their eyes locked and her eyes washed over him with such an intensity that it could rival any ocean wave.

Neither spoke, just trying to process what happened, letting their eyes run wild before she tucks a fallen strand of hair behind Sirius’ ear. The action, so small and fairly insignificant, made something so bubbly flare in his chest.

Both of their pupils are blown wide and this time, she’s the one to lean in first; with a series of soft peaks before Sirius prolongs it. Both his hands are now on her face, tilting her head up before one goes to graze her neck.

There wasn’t a sinking or horrible feeling in his chest that made him feel used or worthless and he took that as a good sign to continue.

This time, it’s faster, rough and passionate and Sirius leads, his hips pressed against her, caging her against the wall. Her hand then went to embrace Sirius, her nails scratching down his back and he involuntarily slipped out a soft groan into her lips.

Merlin… she’s more intoxicating than any brand of alcohol he’s ever drunk.

Eventually, they simultaneously pulled away, using whatever sense they had left and Sirius was left feeling high and shaky. Y/N looked away first, Sirius continuing to stare wide-eyed.

“Um — w-we should — ugh — get going —”

“— Right, I was just about to…”

Sirius backed up, letting Y/N free as she went to sit on a nearby chair. Sirius ran a hand through his hair and stumbled back into the party. He exhaled deeply, fingers outlining his lips in shock.

He must be mad — blood fucking mad! They’re both equally mad!

God, he must be blushing like a damn fool and certainly, he’s not going to be able to sleep tonight. Blimey…

Once James saw him, he pointed and made a B-line, strutting over, his hips exaggerating until he swung an arm around him.

“Siriusss! You’re my best friend!” James ruffled his hair, “Did you know that? Merlin — you light up my world.”

Sirius felt himself smile, but he’s still not fully there. His mind thinks back to her touch: soft and fleeting and god does he crave more and — what is she thinking?

“In love with me? You’re going to have to get in line.”

“Love with all m’friends… Moony… Wormtail — Whiskersss.” James slurred his words slightly and went on a tangent but Sirius’ eye remained on the door, waiting for her to come back.

She’s taking an awfully long time. Fuck, did he push it?

“Mate — earth to Padfoot?” James says, this time knocking his fist on his head like a door. “SIRIUS! Yoo-hoo! In there?”

“Yeah — sorry. A lot’s on my mind.”

James studied him, looking a lot more sober than he did just seconds ago as he went to fix his glasses and said seriously, “Is it… the nightmares again? We can go and talk about it?”

This caught his attention. Ever since Valentine's, he’s been talking to James about them — or at least mentioning bits and pieces which helped a lot more than he expected. “What? No, no it’s not that.”

“But if it is, you’ll tell me, right?”

Sirius has to stop himself from snorting, but it’s all too endearing. “Of course — I’ve only gotten them two times this week.”

Prongs grins like a mad man, throwing his fist in the air. “That’s one down! Amazing! You are amazing.”

And then he hears the door click open and it’s her. She sent him a small smile, barely there but Sirius felt his heart swell. Marlene bounced up to her, pulling her into a dance along with Mary. He watched as her head tipped back with a smile so dazzling and he felt his skin turn fuzzy again.

She got under his skin like nobody else and he’s starting to love it.

102 notes · View notes

fishyfishxd · 3 years

Text

Suggested by @am-bisextrious

Jegulus: ‘If you loved me that much, you’d tell people about us.’

Link to prompt list is here.

James and Regulus had been dating for just over a year, and it was getting hard to hide it. Especially from Sirius.

Sirius and Remus were both suspicious of where James was sneaking off to every spare moment they had.

However, there was one person that knew what was going on, and that was Lily Evans.

She had found the two snogging behind one of the tapestries on one of her rounds, and agreed to keep their secret for the time being.

James had managed to get everyone out of the dorm for a while, so decided to sneak Regulus in under the invisibility cloak.

As they walked into the dorm room, James shut the door behind them, and Regulus took the cloak off.

“We’ve got about half an hour before they come back.” James told him.

Regulus nodded, then pulled his boyfriend down for a kiss by his tie.

James was taken aback at first, but then he sunk into it.

They were soon both shirtless, their clothes littered across the floor of the dorm.

“Wait.” Regulus stated, breaking away.

“What is it?” James asked him, suddenly concerned.

“You know you said they’d be back in about half an hour.” Regulus reminded him, and James nodded. “What if we just let them find us? It’ll save us telling them.”

James sighed, and walked over to his bed to sit down. They’d had this conversation before, and it always ended the same way.

“But, James, just think about it.” Regulus tried to reason with his boyfriend. He walked over to where he was sitting on the bed, and sat down next to him. “We wouldn’t have to tell them, Sirius would probably beat you up, but...”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about!” James shouted, making Regulus flinch slightly. “Okay, I don’t want to tell them, because Sirius will hate me, no matter how much I love you.”

“Well, if you loved me that much, you’d tell people about us!” Regulus shouted back.

There was suddenly a knock at the door. James had locked it with a locking charm when they’d gotten in.

“Prongs? Why is the door locked?” Came Sirius’ voice from the other side of the door.

Regulus and James forgot about their fight in that moment.

“What do we do?” Regulus hissed. James ran his hand through his untidy hair, trying to come up with something.

“Uh... The bathroom! Go and hide in the bathroom!” James told him. Regulus nodded, and ran to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.

“Prongs?” Came Remus’ voice from the other side this time.

“Just a second!” James called out. He kicked Regulus’ clothes under his bed, and put his shirt back on.

“Alohomora!” James heard Sirius cast, and the door swung open.

Then Sirius and Remus both entered the room.

“Prongs, why was the door locked?” Sirius asked him, suspicious of him. He began to look around the room for any evidence.

“I just didn’t want anyone interrupting my studying, that’s all.” James lied, in an obvious way.

In the bathroom, Regulus, who had been listening to the conversation, sighed, as he knew they were going to be caught out. As his boyfriend cannot lie.

“Ah ha!” Sirius exclaimed, as he pointed to a Slytherin tie that was under James’ bed. He picked it up off of the floor, and looked under the bed to see if anyone was under there.

“A Slytherin? Really, James?” Sirius questioned, a disgusted look on his face. “Where is she, huh?”

Remus, who had worked out exactly where the mystery person was, and that it was in fact a guy, and not a girl, stayed silent.

“The bathroom!” Sirius realised. James muttered a curse word under his breath. “Moony, look in there.”

Remus walked over to the bathroom, opened the door, and immediately shut it when he saw who was in there.

“Nope. No one in there.” Remus shook his head. However, Sirius knew when his boyfriend was lying.

“There obviously is, why are you lying to me?” Sirius asked, as he crossed the room over to the bathroom door. “Who’s in there?”

The door of the bathroom was swung open. Everyone was silent as Sirius saw that his brother was standing there, without his shirt on.

Sirius span around, and everyone was nervous to see what he was going to do. Then, he started to glare at James, and everyone knew what he was going to do.

“You’re shagging my brother!” Sirius exclaimed. “I’m going to kill you!”

Remus and Regulus stood by, as Sirius began to chase James around the dorm.

“We should probably stop them.” Remus suggested.

“I mean, I knew this was going to happen, but sure.” Regulus nodded.

The two got involved with the fight, each of them grabbing ahold of their boyfriends.

Regulus stood in front of James, protecting him, just in case Remus, who was keeping Sirius back, accidentally let go.

“Let go, Moony!” Sirius shouted at him.

“Pads, let them speak for themselves first.” Remus told him. Sirius nodded slowly, and stopped struggling in his boyfriend’s grip.

“How long has this been going on?” Sirius asked the two, while trying to stay calm.

“A year.” Regulus answered.

“A year!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus gave him a look, and Sirius calmed down a bit. “So, what’s the deal? You guys just hooking up, or?”

Regulus hesitated, and looked over at James. He didn’t know what James wanted him to say, that they were just friends with benefits, or the whole nature of their relationship.

“I love him.” James stated, without a second thought. Regulus’ eyes widened, Sirius’ eyes widened and Remus’ eyes widened, all at the same time. “We love each other.”

James then took Regulus’ hand in his own. “And we don’t want to hide it anymore.”

Regulus smiled at his boyfriend, happy that he’d told everyone (or everyone important) about there relationship.

“I mean, I don’t like it. But, I guess I’ll have to deal with it.” Sirius sighed, and Regulus turned his head to smile at his brother.

The cute moment between the two brothers, with James and Remus watching, was ruined by the door of the dorm opening, and Peter coming into the room.

Peter furrowed his eyebrows, and looked at all his friends. “What’s going on?”

No one wanted to say anything.

“What’s Regulus doing in here? And why doesn’t he have a shirt on?” Peter asked the group. “And why is he holding James’ hand...”

The four all waited for him to get it, but he didn’t.

“You know what, I should probably go.” Regulus spoke up. He started to walk towards James’ bed to grab his clothes, but he was pulled back by his boyfriend’s grip on his hand.

“No you’re not.” James told him, firmly, and looked at all his friends. “You guys are all supposed to be in Hogsmeade.”

“Yeah, but we remembered about the essay due tomorrow.” Sirius explained, with Peter nodding.

“Well, I already did it, but Pads wanted help with it.” Remus added on.

“Well, then I suggest you go to the library to finish it.” James replied, smiling at his friends.

Remus’ eyes widened when he realised why James wanted them out, Sirius took an extra few seconds, and Peter didn’t even realise.

“You want us out so you can- ew!” Sirius looked at the two in disgust. Regulus could feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Oh, please, do you know how many times I’ve heard you and Moony going at it?! Too many! At least I’m asking you guys to leave.” James replied, making Remus and Sirius both blush.

This then made Peter realise what was going on between the two boys.

“Wait. You and Regulus?” Peter questioned, his eyes going wide.

“God, would you all please leave!” James groaned.

Peter immediately left the room, before walking back in to grab his book he’d forgotten.

Remus and Sirius both grabbed their books and left, Sirius not forgetting to glare at James as they walked out though.

“Colloportus.” James cast at the door, before using a silencing spell on it.

Regulus smiled at his boyfriend, and as soon as he turned around, crashed his lips onto his.

#harry potter #wolfstar #marauders era #young marauders #sirius black #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #james x regulus #regulus x james #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #james & peter & remus & sirius #remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x lupin #sirius x remus #moony x padfoot #padfoot x moony

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lumosandnoxwriting · 3 years

Text

Let Me Save You - Sirius Black

Title: Let Me Save You Pairing: Sirius x Fem!Reader Summary: Y/N will do whatever it takes to save the ones she loves, even if it means joining the dark side. A/N: for the anon who wanted Sirius helping his girlfriend after she takes the dark mark! This is the first time I’ve written a full imagine for Sirius, so I hope it’s okay!! Feedback is always welcome!!! Tags: @feltondarling @pandaxnienke @raerae27

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Sirius’ first thought when he boards the Hogwarts Express with James after the Christmas holiday is Y/N. They’ve only been apart two weeks, but for him it feels like an eternity. It doesn’t help that most of his letters went unanswered, and when she did write her letters were short and uneventful.

Sirius and James race each other to their usual compartment, shoving each other as they run. James just barely cuts in front of Sirius as they reach the door and he grins up at his friend as he plops down next to Lily, slightly out of breath.

“Better luck next time, Pads,” James teases, throwing an arm around Lily.

Sirius flips James off as he collapses on the bench across from them. He looks around the compartment, frowning when he doesn’t spot Y/N. Marlene is seated between Lily and Wormtail, and Mooney is sitting a few spaces away from Sirius, dead asleep with his head leaning against the window. “Where’s Y/N?”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Lily responds leaning into James’ side. “I figured she was with you guys.”

“You don’t think she’s not coming back, do you?” Marlene asks, a worried look on her face.

James rolls his eyes. “Why do you always have to be so dramatic, Mar? Maybe she’s in the loo or got caught up talking to someone. I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.”

Marlene reaches behind Lily to smack James upside the head. “Shove it, Potter. I’m being serious.” Marlene leans in and drops her voice to a whisper. “We all know what her family is like. Things with the war have only been getting worse. Maybe they’re not letting her come back.”

“I hate to admit it but what if Marlene is right?” Lily asks, her face contorting into the same worried look that’s on Marlene’s. “She didn’t return any of the letters I sent over break, and Remus said he didn’t hear from her either.”

James nudges Sirius’ leg with his foot. “You wrote to her a bunch, Pads. You get anything back?”

Sirius nods lamely. “One or two letters, if you could even call them that. She didn’t say much in either of them. Mainly just bullshit pleasantries.” Sirius runs his hand through his hair and closes his eyes, leaning back into his seat.

He’s known Y/N since he was a little boy, her family is part of the Sacred 28 as well, and their parents have been friends since they were kids. Even though they spent quite a bit of time together growing up, Sirius and Y/N only truly became friends when they both started at Hogwarts. Like him, she was the first in her family to be sorted into Gryffindor and they quickly bonded over being the family disappointment. They started dating just before the beginning of their 5th year, and now halfway through 7th year Sirius is sure that Y/N is going to be the woman he marries.

“She seemed fine on the train ride home at the end of term last year,” Wormtail adds. “Something must have happened during the break.”

Sirius’ eyes snap open as the train starts to move. “I can’t just sit here. I’m gonna go see if I can find her.”

Before anyone can stop him Sirius is out of the compartment, frantically heading down the hall.

“Where the hell were you?” Sirius asks as he engulfs Y/N in a hug. They’ve all just stumbled into the Great Hall worried about their missing friend, only to find her already sitting at the Gryffindor table.

Y/N returns Sirius’ hug lamely before pulling him down beside her. “Sorry, love. I got to the train late so I just sat in the first compartment I could find.”

Sirius watches her for a few moments as his arm winds around her waist. He can tell that she’s lying, but he’s not sure exactly why. Wormtail was right on the train, she’d been acting fine all term, and had been joking around with Sirius and everyone else on the train back to Kings Cross. Something must have happened at home, that’s the only way to explain her distant behavior. Y/N had cut herself off from all of them over the break, and even now as she talks with Lily Sirius can see that her smile isn’t genuine, and there’s no light behind her eyes.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sirius whispers in her ear when Lily turns her attention towards something Remus has said.

“Nothing, Sirius. I’m fine,” Y/N responds, trying to sound genuine. But in reality, she’s dying on the inside.

Spending time at home with her family is mentally and emotionally draining, and after the events that went down over Christmas Y/N just doesn’t feel like herself anymore. But she has to put on a fake smile, for her sake and her friends. They can’t know what really happened over the break, and if she wants to keep them safe she has no choice but to start slowly pulling away from those she loves most, Sirius included.

It’s no secret to anybody, especially her friends, that Y/N’s family are willing to do anything to keep their money and their power. Even though she’s well and truly the black sheep of the family, they expect the same things out of her. There’s a war brewing in the Wizarding World, and up until Christmas break Y/N and her family had been on opposite sides of it. But Y/N would do anything to protect the people she loves, and so on Christmas Eve Y/N stood in the middle of her family’s living room and took the Dark Mark.

The Mark burns with pain every time she thinks about it, but Y/N knows she deserves it. Whether she truly believes in Voldemort’s mission or not, she’s now one of his slaves. She’d done it to protect her younger brother, who was supposed to be the one taking the Mark. But he’s barely 15, and Y/N couldn’t stand there and watch her parents ruin his life. She also did it to protect Lily, her sweet Muggleborn best friend who was already on Voldemort’s radar as a target. And she did it to protect Sirius, who had already been cast from his home and no longer afforded the same protections from Voldemort’s torture as the rest of the Black family.

If taking the Dark Mark is what it takes to save her friends’ lives, then she’d do it over and over again.

“If you’re sure,” Sirius murmurs, before pulling Y/N into a deep kiss. She’s his whole entire world, and he’s willing to wait for her to be ready to open up to him. “I love you. You know that, right?”

Y/N nods and lets her hands tangle in his hair for a brief moment. “Of course, Sirius. I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.”

It starts off slowly. Y/N knows the only way to truly keep all of her friends safe is to keep her distance. But just immediately cutting them off would be too obvious. So she starts by heading to breakfast early, so by the time all of her friends are awake and heading to the Great Hall, she’s already on her way to the first lesson of the day. The first few times Sirius questions her, since normally Y/N likes to sleep in until the last possible second. But she brushed his concerns away, simply stating that she never gets to sleep in at home, and she’s gotten used to rising early. Everyone seems a little confused, but they accept her explanation anyway.

Next she moves her seat in all of her classes, so she’s no longer sitting by her friends. They don’t all have every class together, so it takes them all a while to figure it out. Lily confronts Y/N about it during lunch after Potions, when she’d completely ignored Lily and sat next to Severus of all people. Again, Y/N had tried to brush off their concerns casually. Her parents had gotten on her about her grades during break and sitting with her friends would only distract her.

Then she stops hanging out in the common room. Whenever there’s downtime everyone is usually piled up in front of the fire, messing around or playing games. But Y/N is always absent. She either hides away in her dorm room with a book or is in a dark corner of the library doing schoolwork. The first half dozen times it happens one of her friends always seeks her out, usually Sirius or Lily, and they try and coax her back to the common room. But she always denies their offer, either blaming it on her large amount of schoolwork to prep for NEWTS or feigning some kind of illness. Eventually they stop trying, no matter how much it pains them to do so.

The final straw is when Y/N stops sitting with her friends at all. They come down for dinner one night and find that she’s not sitting at their usual spot at the Gryffindor table. Instead she’s at the far end of the table, sandwiched between a group of first years and a group of fourth years. No matter how hard they try no one can get her to come sit with them, even Sirius’ best puppy dog eyes, which can make even Lily melt.

“So, what are we going to do about her?” Remus asks one night over dinner. Y/N has just left the Great Hall, walking by them without even sparring any one a glance.

“She’s being a proper bitch, I don’t know why we need to do anything. She doesn’t want us to be friends with her anymore? Fuck her then,” Marlene sneers, clearly using anger to cover up the hurt she’s feeling.

Lily throws her arm around Marlene’s shoulder, pulling her in tightly. “It’s okay, Mar. I miss her too.” She turns to Sirius then. “Got any ideas?”

Sirius shrugs. “She doesn’t even look at me anymore. Not sitting with us in class or choosing not to hang out with us is one thing, but the silent treatment? It’s killing me. Something must have happened during break and she won’t talk about it.”

“Have you talked to your brother lately?” James asks suddenly.

“Regulus? No, why?” Sirius asks, his tone lit with confusion.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’ve seen him and Y/N talking in the halls a few times while doing Head Boy stuff after curfew. Snivellous was there once or twice too. Seemed like they were talking about something serious, and once they’d spot me they’d all run off.”

Sirius frowns. “So she can talk to that greaseball and my brother but not talk to me?”

Remus sighs. “I think this is far worse than any of us have imagined.” When everyone turns to look at him he continues. “We know Snape has a pension for Dark Arts, and it’s likely that Sirius’ family has aligned themselves with You-Know-Who, right? Well who’s family is close friends with the most ancient and noble house of Black?” He lets the question hang in the air for a moment, but no one has to answer, they all know who it is. “Sirius, you suspected that your parents had made Regulus take the Dark Mark over the summer, after you ran away. What do you think are the odds that Y/N’s family have forced her to take it as well?”

Lily gasps and covers her mouth with her hand. “That makes sense. As much as I hate to admit it, it makes sense. I mean of all the people to sit next to in Potions she sat next to Snape. That never made sense to me, she knows how vile he is, the vile things he’s said about me. But I’d bet all the money in the world that Snape has taken the Mark as well and that’s why she’s talking to him and Regulus.”

“Alright, that’s it,” Sirius says, standing up. “I can’t just sit here and theorize about what might be happening. I’m going to go find Y/N and make her talk to me. Whether she’s taken the Dark Mark or not, something is wrong, and I can’t just watch her suffer.”

When the door to the dorm creeps open, Y/N figures it’s Alice or Mary coming to grab something quickly. Lily and Marlene stopped checking up on her ages ago. So she’s surprised when Sirius walks into their dorm. He looks like a mixture of concerned and angry, and it makes Y/N’s chest aches.

“What?” she asks coldly, turning her attention back to her book.

Sirius doesn’t say anything at first, choosing to watch Y/N as he comes over and sits on the edge of her bed. “We need to talk.”

“Didn’t you get the hint? I don’t want to talk to you.” Y/N hates having to be like this with Sirius. He’s always been the person she trusted most in this world, but now she has to let him go. As painful as it is for the both of them.

Sirius crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t care about what you want. You’re in pain, Y/N. And you can’t lie your way out of it. I know you too well. I can see it in your eyes. Please just stop pushing me away so I can help you.”

Y/N slams her book shut and puts it down on the bed. “It’s too late for you to help me, okay? So just give it a rest. It’s in everyone’s best interest to just stop thinking about me and stop caring about me, okay?”

Sirius watches Y/N storm towards the door and he reaches out, grabbing her forearm. She immediately winces and tears her arm from his grasp. Sirius’ eyes widen and fear washes over him. “You have it, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/N responds lamely, looking down at her hands.

Sirius clears his throat. “The Dark Mark. It’s on your forearm, isn’t it?”

Y/N shakes her head and pushes past Sirius and heads back towards your bed. “You’re out of your mind, Sirius. Now just leave me alone please.”

“Not until you show me your arm, Y/N,” Sirius demands firmly. He already knows what he’ll see when she finally rolls her sleeve up, but he needs to see it. He needs to know that this is really happening.

Y/N sniffles as she turns to face Sirius. At some point she’d started crying, but she’s not entirely sure when. She rips the sleeve of her shirt up to her elbow and holds her arm out so Sirius can see the Mark on her skin. “There! Are you happy? I’m a dirty, rotten death eater. Is that enough to finally get you to leave me the fuck alone?”

“Baby,” Sirius coos, taking a step towards her. “How did this happen, please, Y/N. I love you. This doesn’t make any sense. Talk to me, please.” Sirius isn’t even sure if what he’s saying is making sense, but his mind is going too fast to string a coherent thought together. This was never supposed to happen to them. Sirius ran away from his family to avoid this fate, he let himself be disowned so he and Y/N would have a chance at a long, happy life together. And the sight of that Mark on her arm has suddenly ripped those dreams right from under him.

Y/N collapses onto her bed, holding her head in her hands. “I didn’t want it to happen. You have to believe me, Sirius. I’ve hated myself every single day since I took this fucking thing.”

Sirius sits down next to Y/N and wraps his arms around her, bringing her to his chest. “I know, baby. I know,” he soothes, starting to stroke her hair. “Let me in, please. I can’t see you hurting like this anymore.”

“They were gonna make him do it. Michael,” Y/N starts. “He’s barely even 15, I couldn’t let him. He looked so scared when they told him, like he was going to cry. I had to protect him Sirius, I couldn’t let them ruin him. So, I told them I would do it.”

Sirius leans down and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Then why not just say that to us? Y/N we all care about you. We love you. You can tell us anything. We’d never be mad. I’d never be mad.”

“Because, Sirius. This isn’t just some game or joke. I’m his slave now, I’m at his every beck and call. Being around me is dangerous, especially for you and Lily. He has information on muggleborns, Sirius. Like files and files about people. He knows pretty much everything you can about Lily. Being friends with her gives him a direct connection to her and I can’t let that happen. And you. God it would kill me if you got hurt because of me. I love you, Sirius. More than I love anything in this world.”

Sirius grabs Y/N’s face in his hands and tilts her head up so he can kiss her slowly and passionately, trying to convey every feeling he has for her through this one kiss. “Runaway with me,” he whispers when their kiss breaks.

“What?” Y/N asks, blinking up at him.

“Let’s go to Dumbledore. If anyone can help you out of this mess it’s him. He’ll be able to hide us away somewhere, until it’s safe.” Sirius hugs Y/N tightly. “I love you, Y/N. There’s no one else in the world who will ever make me feel like this. You’re the person I’m supposed to marry and have kids with. Grow old with. You’ve already saved me, now let me save you.”

Y/N kisses Sirius. “I love you too. There’s no me without you.”

Y/N lets Sirius drag her from her dorm and to Dumbledore’s office. There’s no guarantee that he’ll say yes, or that hiding will work. But with Sirius by her side, Y/N knows that everything will work out in the end.

#sirius black #Sirius Black imagine #sb #marauder #Sirius Black fanfiction

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idonthalfbloodymissyou · 3 years

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assorted marauders headcannons

random marauders headcannons about james, remus, lily, marlene, mary, dorcas, alice, frank, narcissa, lucius, bellatrix, andromeda, regulus, sirius, and peter (in order) :)

- james never actually asked lily out directly (except for the time in fifth year) but just made vague jokes

- he did actually like her a lot

- james was a chaser starting second year

- he became captain as a fourth year,, the youngest ever

- james was jewish but his family also celebrated christmas

- remus was jewish

- in first year around christmas time they boys were discussing christmas presents and sirius asked remus what he wanted and remus said he didn’t celebrate christmas and peter flipped out and remus became really embarrassed because he was already different and didn’t want to add on but hesitantly told them he was jewish and james was like awesome !! me too!! and suddenly remus felt better

- james’ parents sent james a menorah and the boys lit it together before they went home

- remus and james taught the boys all about hanukkah

- lily’s mum was christian and her dad was jewish so they always celebrated both

- lily became friends with remus in third year because they had arithmancy together but never made it well known

- lily became friends with sirius in fourth year when he found her after a particularly bad letter arrived from petunia

- lily became friends with james in sixth year because he apologized but he was still on ‘probation’ as lily liked to tell him

- lily became friends with peter in fourth year when she found out his parents were also divorced

- lily’s parents divorced when she was 10 and petunia was 12

- part of petunia’s resentment towards lily revolves around the fact that she had to deal with the beginning alone

- lily also had issues accepting her feelings for james because she was scared to end up like her parents

- lily was supposed to be a bridesmaid in petunia’s wedding but she was invited as just a guest last minute

- lily took james because they were dating and hadn’t met her parents or petunia yet

- lily’s parents were immediately won over but petunia was not

- it took lily a little while to make friends because of her friendship with snape but marlene mckinnon was the first one to take the risk

- marlene convinced mary and dorcas that lily is actually really great

- marlene was a gryffindor beater, starting second year

- marlene was halfblood and had one older and one younger brother

- mary was muggleborn had three younger sisters and her mum was a single mum

- she always felt guilty about leaving her but her mum never wanted her to

- mary secretly worked in hogsmeade on the weekends, beginning when she was 14 (mcgonagall helped her) and she sent money home to her mum every month

- dorcas was a ravenclaw who became friends with marlene and mary because she met them on the train

- she was halfblood and an only child

- alice was pureblood

- alice had an older brother that was killed in the war or disappeared

- alice and frank were two years older than the marauders

- frank never got along with his mum and didn’t want neville to have to spend more time with her than needed

- narcissa was three years older than the marauders

- she was a slytherin prefect

- narcissa was secretly fascinated with muggle things

- lucius was two years older than her

- they had an arranged marriage in 1976 and narcissa learned to love him for the sake of her family, but it always felt wrong to her

- bellatrix was five years older than the marauders

- she was a slytherin prefect and head girl

- andromeda was seven years older than the marauders

- she was a slytherin prefect and head girl

- she ran away the last day of school (1972) -- she apparated away with ted before her family found her

- they got married that summer, and she also got pregnant shortly after

- she wrote regulus, sirius, and narcissa and apologized to them

- all three of them regularly corresponded with her, but the others didn’t know because they were scared of getting in trouble

- regulus was a slytherin seeker

- regulus was slytherin prefect

- sirius and regulus met under the tree by the lake once a month every year until the day regulus told him he had become a death eater

- kreacher was actually nice to both regulus and sirius and never listened to walburga but sirius became hostile after azkaban because he had no one else in his family to take his anger out on, so kreacher retaliated

- sirius ran away over christmas break in fifth year because he just couldn’t take it anymore

- yes, english people are formal asf and it was the 70′s but sirius called euphemia ‘mum’ and fleamont ‘dad’ and it was completely normal

- sirius was a gryffindor beater starting third year

- sirius’ position was revoked in fifth year after the prank and re-instated for the last game of sixth year and the entirety of seventh year (with remus’ permisson of course)

- peter was a halfblood, his dad was pureblood and his mum was halfblood

- peter’s parents were also divorced

- his mum took off when he was 9 and moved to america and occasionally wrote him and sent food and clothes from there like a normal mum would

- peter’s dad remarried a muggle when he was 12 and he had 4 step-siblings and one half sister that was much younger

- he always felt over looked by them, and then the marauders when he went to hogwarts

- peter’s jealousy and insecurities led to him betraying the marauders

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sirius-blacks-curls · 4 years

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my sirius black headcanons that absolutely no one asked for but i love with my entire being:

so we’ve already talked about him being french. but consider:

he has really fuckin good handwriting but hates it because his mother forced him to learn it when he was first learning to write. now when i say good handwriting i mean like fuckin calligraphy level swoopy cursive. but instead he uses barely legible chicken scratch out of spite because he knows everyone in his family hates it

he’s also a really good artist. like when he’s bored or can’t focus in class he’ll either get out a sketchbook or doodle on remus’s or his own notes or assignments and remus pretends to hate it but he actually loves it

adding on to him being a good artist, he also really loves doing tattoos, whether it’s with a professional gun or with a needle and his pot of ink. most of his (pre-azkaban) tattoos are stick and pokes he gave himself while he was in detention

he has a really high sex drive. like he just gives me those vibes. that is all i will say on this topic

he absolutely loves physical affection. cuddles, hugs, hand holding, kisses. he hated it at first but now he can’t get enough because his body needs to make up for the lack of affection he got as a kid. even though he and remus were dating in school, james was definitely his favorite cuddle buddy.

he is terrified of babies. not babies themselves, no, he’s fine with watching them. he’s scared of holding them, because once when he was little he was holding regulus and almost dropped him and got yelled at for it for a whole hour. so you can imagine how fun it must’ve been for him when james told him lily was pregnant.

he’s allergic to cats, but loves them with his whole heart. except mrs. norris. he’s convinced she tried to kill him multiple times by breaking into their dormitory and sleeping on his chest or face. remus doesn’t believe him.

he has curly hair. everyone talks about remus having perfect, soft curls, but i’ve never seen ANYONE even consider sirius with curls. they were more defined when he was younger, but now that he’s grown out of them a bit they’re more like loose waves.

on the topic of his hair, he hates taking showers because he doesn’t like his hair to be wet. he says it’s too heavy but refuses to cut it, but it’s also about not wanting his clothes/pillow to be wet when he’s going to bed. this almost always results in remus having to ~~coax~~ him into the shower.

when he and remus get married, he mentions wanting to have a biological child with him, but since neither of them can get pregnant they end up looking for surrogates. they can’t find one for a while and sirius gets really discouraged and upset, and remus hates seeing him like that so he gets him a kitten that he completely a d o r e s.

that’s all i can think of off the top of my head. i know i have more i just can’t remember them right now bc it’s 4am. feel free to add to this 🥺👉👈

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omgrachwrites · 4 years

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Tell a Tale of You and Me - Chapter Eleven

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You knew that making a bet with Sirius Black was like making a deal with the devil but you just couldn’t help yourself. You had never been a heavenly woman.

Warnings: fluff, angst

Words: 2336

A/N: I would say that I was sorry for all the angst but I’m really not! I hope you guys enjoy this part and please let me know what you think and let me know if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

Chapter Eleven

The atmosphere in The Great Hall on the day of the Yule Ball thoroughly changed throughout the day, it was Christmas Eve anyway but most of the students weren’t really concerned with it. They were too excited and apprehensive about the evening to come. At breakfast that morning, most of the girls were giddy with excitement and some of the boys were feeling apprehensive. By the time that lunchtime rolled around, the girls were growing impatient and were prone to snapping while the boys had accepted their fate.

At lunch, Sirius greeted you with a kiss on your cheek which made you flush and he sent you a wink that turned your legs to jelly, “looking good, Y/L/N,” he smirked; he looked especially good this afternoon.

You recovered quickly and arched an eyebrow at him, “too good for you,” you teased and received a chuckle as a reply as he sat next to James. They were properly talking to each other again after the whole Snape fiasco.

You grinned to yourself as you glanced back at Lily to see that she had a mingled expression of shock and amusement on her face, “okay, what was that all about?” she lowered her voice and leaned forward with interest.

You rolled your eyes as you smiled at her, “he was upset when he and James were fighting so I um might have kissed him,” you shrugged, playing it off like it was nothing when in reality it was a huge deal.

Instead of a shocked look, Lily shot you a warm smile that she usually reserved for James, “good for you sweetie. I know that your situation isn’t ideal but don’t let him get away, not without a fight.”

At about half past three Lily checked her watch and gave you a little nod with a sparkle in her emerald eyes and a giddy sort of excitement filled your gut. It was time to get ready for the Ball. Lily kissed James on the lips, “we’d better get ready for the Ball,” she beamed as the both of you stood up.

“And you need three hours to get ready?” Sirius frowned while you and Lily rolled your eyes at each other, he really was hopeless.

“Well, looking good takes time but I’m sure you wouldn’t know anything about that,” you smirked and Remus choked on a surprised laugh while James gave you a high five and Sirius pulled a tongue at you.

Getting ready with the girls was so much fun, Marlene and Dorcas had managed to sneak in a bottle of pink champagne and the lot of you were drinking out of the bottle, getting a little tipsy. You helped Lily style her soft red hair into an intricate and fiddly up do which made her look like a queen, James was a very lucky guy. In turn she helped you get into your dress and she laced up the back for you.

As you looked at your group of friends you suddenly grew sad and the nerves were finally starting to set in. This was going to be your last Christmas at Hogwarts and you were determined to make it a night to remember. When you all walked into the common room, a few Gryffindor boys that none of you knew all wolf whistled at you in good nature. You all giggled and blew them kisses as you climbed up through the portrait hole and made your way to The Entrance Hall where you’d be meeting your dates.

“What if Sirius never forgives me? What if we can never get past what’s going to happen tonight?” you asked Lily in a shaky voice as you fought the urge to throw up.

Lily laced her warm fingers through yours and gave your hand a comforting squeeze, “he will, I promise Y/N. He cares about you too much to never forgive you, so if I was you I really wouldn’t worry about it.”

You nodded at your best friend’s words as you took a deep breath, hoping that she was right. As you descended the stone steps you smiled as James wistfully gazed at Lily like she was the only girl in the universe. You longed to have a relationship just like theirs one day. Sirius looked so achingly handsome that it hurt with the knowledge that you wouldn’t be attending the Ball together. At his side there was an equally beautiful girl and you tried not to feel bitter resentment towards her.

Remus gave you a small wave while Sirius rushed forward, his lips quirked up into a smile and he gave you a tight hug. You breathed in his scent, he smelled like cinnamon and sandalwood, he ignored the huffs of his date. His cheeks were flaming red as he looked you over and you squirmed beneath his gaze, “you look amazing Y/N!” and for once there wasn’t a teasing tone to his voice, he sounded completely sincere.

You flushed right down to your toes as butterflies exploded into your stomach, fluttering wildly at his words, “thank you! So do you,” you giggled nervously, dreading the moment that was due to come.

“So, where is your date? If he’s late, I’ll kick his arse for you.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary brother,” chewing your lip at the soft voice, you turned your head to look at Regulus.

He looked just as handsome as his brother. He was beaming at you, his grey eyes twinkling in the candlelight as he dragged a hand through his short wavy hair, a flush on his cheeks. Regulus looked you up and down, and it wasn’t in a pervy way but on the other hand, it didn’t make you weak in the knees like it should have, “wow,” Regulus breathed, “you look stunning,” you flushed at his pretty words, not daring to look at Sirius.

“Thank you Reg, you look great too!”

Regulus took your hand and rubbed his thumb against your wrist, smiling when he felt your pulse point jump beneath his fingers, “should we head in? I can’t wait to dance with you,” he smiled cutely and your heart went out to him. He really deserved a girl who was crazy about him.

“Please,” you grinned nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. The air surrounding the pair of you had grown heavy and awkward, though you wouldn’t let it ruin your night. You were still hopeful that you could have a good night.

As you strolled towards The Great Hall you chanced a look back, Sirius was glaring at you, you had never seen him that angry before and it was all directed towards you. His face was like thunder but there was hurt in his stormy grey eyes. Your other friends looked shocked while Lily looked sympathetic. Hot tears stung at your eyes and you willed them to go away and your chest felt tight. You didn’t want to make Regulus feel bad, he was too sweet.

A gasp of awe escaped you as you walked into the gold and silver decorated hall, marvelling at the 12 Christmas trees. It was snowing and fluttering multi coloured fairies flew overhead. It was strange but seeing the frost settle around the windows made you feel calm. The room looked like something straight from a beautiful winter’s dream.

“Beautiful right?” Regulus grinned, squeezing your hand gently and you smiled at him. It was the first time that night that you’d sent a true smile his way.

“It’s gorgeous! Come and dance with me Reg!” you giggled as you pulled him to the dance floor, smiling slightly when you heard him let out a breathless and surprised chuckle.

Regulus was a wonderful dancer and there was the prettiest gleam in his eyes as he smiled at you. There should have been a spark – you were beating yourself up because there wasn’t a spark – after all Regulus was handsome, sweet, considerate, and hardworking, the list goes on but you felt nothing. You vaguely wondered what the matter with you was.

Halfway through your dance, Regulus took a shaky breath, “Y/N,” you glanced up, giggling as he twirled you; “can we try and make this work between us? You mean more to me than just my older brother’s friend. I want to mean more you to you too,” he took his bottom lip between his teeth and chewed on it as he waited patiently for your response to his confession.

It was not a decision to be taken lightly, there was certainly no spark that you felt but maybe that was okay. Maybe Regulus would be the safe choice and maybe he wouldn’t break your heart. Whatever happened you certainly didn’t imagine that your last year at Hogwarts would be like this. You could never have a quiet year.

“Reg,” you started and there must have been uncertainty in your voice because his face fell, “we can try,” as you agreed Regulus perked up with a sweet smile and he kissed your cheek.

“Thank you.”

After a couple more dances, Lily pulled you away and you ended up getting drinks with her. James poured some fire whiskey – which he’d smuggled into the Ball in a flask – into your pumpkin juice and winked at you. Remus’ cheeks were rosy and his hazel eyes twinkled, it was obvious that he’d had more than a little to drink. Sirius ignored you blatantly and your heart constricted painfully, you would rather him be angry with you because maybe then he’d be talking to you.

-----------------------------

Sirius heaved a great sigh as he took a swig of fire whiskey from the flask that James had brought with him. Tonight had been a bust. The Great Hall looked stunning but it was torture watching the girl he was falling for in his brother’s arms. He’d resorted to ignoring them both which killed him inside. Everyone was pissing him off tonight including the girl he’d brought with him, Regulus and Y/N.

James patted Sirius’ arm sympathetically, he’d at least had a good night with Lily and Sirius was jealous that James had found someone who truly loved him, “you alright mate? It must have been a difficult night for you.”

Sirius shrugged, “I just feel betrayed, y’know? Like I was just part of some scheme, I thought that Y/N actually liked me,” he laughed it off like he didn’t care, but he did, “I’m gonna get some air,” he didn’t wait for a reply before taking off outside into the cold night.

He sat down on a snowy stone bench that had been nestled among the winter flowers that had been planted especially for tonight. It was strangely peaceful out here and for the first time that night he felt at ease. Sirius wasn’t sure just how long he was out there before he heard the snow crunch behind him but he didn’t bother to turn around.

“I haven’t seen you all night, where have you been?” Y/N giggled nervously and Sirius closed his eyes, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in the back of his throat and he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Shouldn’t you be with my brother right now?” he gave a bark of humourless laughter and he heard Y/N sigh.

“Sirius,” she started but he didn’t want to hear any excuses, he just wanted to know one thing from her.

“Why did you kiss me that day Y/N?” he mumbled, blinking the tears out of his eyes, “were you trying to play with my feelings for you? Or were you just using me to get to Regulus this whole time, is that the only reason you’re friends with me?”

“Of course I wasn’t using you; it’s not what you think between me and Regulus! It was just a kiss Sirius; I thought you of all people would understand that! There was no ulterior motive behind it, you were gutted about what happened with James and I just thought that it might make you feel better.”

Hurt swirled in Sirius’ gut at Y/N’s words. It was just a stupid kiss was it? He shouldn’t have expected anything more than that. He’d been a complete fool. Finally, he turned around to look at her, she was beautiful, standing in the deep snow wearing that gold dress that looked like it was made for her. The snow was swirling around her and a couple of snowflakes settled on her eyelashes and in her hair. She had never looked more beautiful.

Her outline grew blurry as the hot tears returned to his eyes but right now he didn’t much care if she saw his tears. It would be good for her to see just how much she’d hurt him, “y’know, its funny. Regulus was always the perfect one, the prodigal son. He got everything that he’d ever wanted but it didn’t care because I had one thing he didn’t have, I had you. And, now he has you too so it doesn’t even matter,” Sirius stood up.

“Pads,” Y/N made to touch his arm as she gave him a pained look.

Sirius jerked his arm out of her reach, he didn’t want to hear it, and it hurt too much. He’d never felt so vulnerable, not even when his mum had kicked him out, “don’t!” his voice broke and he swallowed a whimper, “please,” when Y/N nodded he turned to stalk back into the castle, looking back for a second, “merry Christmas Y/N,” he whispered as a tear slid down his cheek.

When he got back to the castle, his pretty date smiled at him, she looked glad that he was back and right now, he needed any bit of affection he could get, no matter how small. Sirius smiled back at her as he made his way over, he was angry, heartbroken and hurt. He wanted to hurt Y/N just as much as she had hurt him. He wouldn’t even feel sorry about it.

-----------------------------

@approved-by-dentists @thefuturelawyer @a-miserable-hufflepunk @firelordmillie @seriouslysiriuss @sleep-i-ness @play-morezeppelin @pregnant-piggy @sleepingalaska @smiithys @blisfvll @rexorangecouny @findzelda @wangmangagavroche @the-moon-and-the-book @hxrgreeves @ghostofstudentspast @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @my-unique-mind @im-an-angel-of-the-lord-you-ass

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waynewifey · 4 years

Text

Reunited —

Pairing: POA!Sirius Black x reader; young!Sirius Black x Slytherin!reader.

Summary: (request from @holdupwhat) hey there! can i request a sirius x slytherin!reader? maybe sirius and reader reunite after sirius escapes from azkaban but reader is unsure about him. angsty with a fluffy ending? thanks btw love your works!

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: angsty, mentions of death, crying, fluff?, bad writing lol

A/N: I got very excited but idrk how to write angst?? I tried my best tho, hope you like it. <3 Oh, and english isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Flashbacks in italic!

(gif not mine)

Godric’s Hollow’s streets were strangely empty for a summer afternoon. All doors and windows were closed, not a single car passing by. Complete silence in the village, if not for the tapping sound of your sandals. You walked down the sidewalk, to your neighbour’s cottage, slightly holding the skirt of your white dress. Once at their door, you knocked three times. A couple seconds later, an old lady answers, pointing her wand at your face.

“Oh, it’s just you.” She lowers her wand, getting out of behind the door. “How can I help you, Ms. (Y/L/N)?”

“Hello, Mrs. Clearwater.” You smiled. “I was baking some cookies and ran out of brown sugar, I was wondering if you could lend me some. The Seven Swans is closed, for some strange reason.”

“Of course honey! Come inside, it’s not safe to be outside at down anymore.” You walked in, smelling the known vanilla scent. She closed the door, running to the kitchen, already grabbing a small bowl with the brown sugar.

“Um, I’m sorry Mrs. Clearwater, but why you say it’s not safe anymore? Does that has something to do with the reason why the village is void?” You asked, and she gave you a scared look from the counter. She looked around, the emerald eyes searching for something. Finally, she grabbed a newspaper and handed it to you. The Daily Prophet.

BLACK STILL AT LARGE, said the article’s title. Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisoner ever to be held in Azkaban fortress, is still eluding capture, the Ministry of Magic confirmed today; under a picture of him screaming.

“The Ministry said he could come back here. Many murderers tend to visit where they killed their victims.” She said, replacing the paper in your hands for the bowl. You thanked her with a weak smile; no words would come out of your mouth. You walked away, with your mind still a little numb.

You whimpered, your hand in front of your mouth, holding a sob. You stared at the black lake, salty tears rolling down your chubby cheeks. You took off your green tie and threw it on the grass. It was the reason why all of that happened. Simply because you were a Slytherin, you had to hear those terrible words from James Potter. You hated it, and wished you could be sorted to Gryffindor like the rest of your family. Suddenly, you felt a warm hand on your left shoulder, which made you flinch. A boy with black curls seated beside you, his grey eyes meeting your gaze. You looked at his tie; red, of course.

“Want to bully me some more? Go ahead, I don’t care anymore.” You sobbed, your vision getting blurred from the tears.

“No, I’m here to say that I’m sorry. I should have stopped James.” He broke eye contact, staring at the lake. “I have a brother who’s a Slytherin, Regulus Black. He’s in first year, and I wouldn’t want him to go through the same as you.” You remained quiet, wiping your tears with your hands. “My whole family is Slytherin, actually. You can call me the black sheep.” He giggled, returning his gaze to you.

“Why are you saying all this? Just go away, it’s not like you care.” Your voice broke, but you hoped he hadn’t noticed.

“I- I do care. I always thought you were fun, you see. I’m truly sorry for my friend’s attitude, I can promise you it won’t happen again. And maybe we could be friends...?” He said and you giggled, nodding. He extended his hand out. “Sirius Black.”

You grabbed it, shaking a little. “(Y/N) (L/N).”

And after that evening in second year, your friendship never ended. Instead, it only grew. You started dating in fifth year, fought against Death Eaters in seventh year and were moving in together when he was arrested.

While remembering his presence and your story, you somehow ended in front of the ruins of the Potters Cottage. (Y/E/C) eyes filled with tears as you remembered the first time you visited it, when it wasn’t destroyed, in Harry’s first birthday. You remembered the broom Sirius brought as a gift, how he held your godson and him telling you that he wanted a baby of your own. The love of your life, a murderer. He betrayed James and Lily. He killed thirteen muggles. The sky was getting darker and you could barely see the end of the street, so you decided to go home. You crossed the front garden, glancing at the door. It was slightly opened, not how you left. You were sure you locked before leaving. Your right hand automatically ran to your pocket and held tightly your wand. You raised it, opening the door with your foot. “Who’s there?” You said loudly, walking through the living room. The first floor was clear, so you went up stairs. Your heartbeat accelerated at each step. You opened your room’s door, stepping in. A man sitting on your bed wearing a large t-shirt and sweatpants, his long black hair was wet and he looked down at a picture frame. “Sirius...?” You mumbled. His eyes met yours and his lips formed a wide smile. A hundred emotions busted inside of you. All the memories of the moments you spent together flashed through your mind. “Love.” His voice was hoarse and low. Black stood up and walked towards you. “You stay where you are! Not one more step. I- I’m warning you! I won’t hesitate.” Sirius stopped, his smile breaking. Your mind was racing. There was a murderer inside of your house, but he was also the man you loved. For the first ten years you tried to collect evidence that he was innocent, that he was not the monster everyone thought but there wasn’t proof enough and you gave up eventually. Your mind raised expectations that maybe you were right, maybe he was innocent, maybe if he explained everything... Deep down you trusted him, but fear spoke out first. “You- Why here?” “You know I’m innocent. You know it was Wormtail-“ “YOU KILLED HIM! James, Lily, Peter, it’s all your fault! And you have the courage to come here? You betrayed everyone, Sirius Black! You betrayed me! You’re a monster. I don’t want to see you ever again. I won’t take you to the ministry, but you better leave.” You felt the same pain and anger you felt in November 81. Your heart broke again, just by seeing him standing there, hoping you would help him. “(Y/N) I-“ He stared at you, tears falling while you held yours. “Leave.” And then he was gone.

Living without Sirius Black again was worse that you could imagine. It took you ten years to finally recover, and now the sore was open again. Every night your words tormented you, filling you with regret. You was always reading the news, would it be better if they found him or not? What if he was already dead? Was he alone, lost in the world?

It was late May when Remus Lupin, an old school friend, showed up at your front door. He looked tired and sick, with dark circles around his eyes. You invited him in.

“I came from Hogwarts.” He was anxious, almost tense.

“You’ve been teaching, right? Defense against the dark arts, if I remember it correctly. Harry writes me sometimes, usually at Christmas, when I send him presents. He likes you.” You poured some tea on his cup, smiling proudly at the thought of your godson.

“Yes, exactly. But I’m not here to talk about Harry.” He sipped the beverage. “I met with Sirius. He gave us some trouble, actually.” You stared at him, holding your breath. “You have to believe me, he is innocent. But unfortunately we can’t prove it. He told me he came here and that he misses you.”

“Where is he now?” Your voice broke a little, while you hold your tears.

“His family house. Are you willing to meet him?” You only nodded, getting up.

At 12 Grimmauld Place, Sirius and Remus explained everything to you. You were relieved to finally know the truth and to be reunited with your husband. You three spent the night chatting and telling your stories from the past few years. Around 11pm Lupin left for his room, wishing you a good night. You sat on the couch next to the fireplace resting your head on Sirius’s chest, his arm embracing you and his hand laying on your waist.

“I’m sorry for what I said before. I- I don’t know, I guess I believed for so long that you were this horrible person, and-” You tried to explain, but he cut you with a kiss on your lips. Merlin, you missed him so much.

“It’s okay, I understand. The house is a little dusty, but we can make it work.” He said, staring at the fire.

“You want me to stay?” He turned to you, a confused look on his eyes as it was so obvious. You could see your reflection on his grey orbits, given the small distance between you. You brushed your fingers through his curls, smelling his natural sweet perfume.

“Of course I want you to stay. I would like to be your handsome husband again, if you’ll have me as so.” Sirius giggled and leaned closer, kissing the top of your forehead. You entangled your fingers with a smile. It felt so good to be reunited again, this time with no worries, just the certainty that they both loved each other. He looked at you, as you were his whole world and cupped you face with his big hands. “I love you, (Y/N)(L/N).”

“I love you too, Sirius Black.”

#harry potter imagines #sirius black x yn #sirius black #sirius x y/n #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #request #remus lupin x y/n #remus mention #sirius angst #fluff imagine #angst imagine #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders fanfiction #sirius orion black

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years

Note

You are so singlehandedly keeping Prongsfoot alive and I love you for it! So my request if for you to write whatever you want, write your deepest fantasy or kink or rewrite one of your old favourites! Do something for you ❤️

((A/N: You’re so sweet anon! This gave me the time to write Death Eater!Sirius-- don’t worry, he’s still a good guy, he’s just undercover. Warnings for depression, injuries/blood, self-hatred, and lots of crying. Expect normal wartime angst. There is brief James/Lily (very brief lol). It all turns out in the end, of course <3 ))

Sirius looked at his newly branded arm, feeling a wave of nausea as he looked at the snake curling around the skull like it was an old friend. This wasn't going to go away. Eventually, the war was going to end and Sirius was going to want to forget about all of this, but he wasn't going to be able to. Dumbledore had told him when he gave him this assignment that, if he accepted, it would change his entire life because he would have to do whatever it took to convince Voldemort and the other Death Eaters that he was on their side. Whatever it takes, Sirius, Dumbledore had said. I'll take care of you after it happens so you are not prosecuted. You would have to do everything he says so you can pass us information. The time might come for you to work against them, but it is not now.

He hadn't known that it would be like this. There were tiers to Voldemort's organisation. He had his inner circle, the other Death Eaters, and then everyone else that was following him. Sirius had thought that he'd be part of the last group, but a few hours ago, he had been inducted. Kill an innocent muggle to complete the ritual, then Voldemort branded you.

There was no going back from this.

He'd have to tell Dumbledore. Dumbledore would probably be happy. The higher you were ranked, the better information you'd get about what they were doing. This was a good thing for the war effort. "This is going to help so many people," Sirius choked out, trying to convince himself.

He glanced in the mirror and immediately had to look away. He didn't look all that different. He'd hurt people before this. Working for Voldemort, he'd hurt dozens of people. A couple of them had probably died from their wounds, but tonight was the first time he'd gone out with the intent to murder someone. And he'd done it. He felt like his reflection should show how horrible he felt, but mostly he looked the same. Maybe a little tired, but that was it. He looked just as human as he had at the start of the day.

He had the urge to smash his fist against the glass because surely a shattered reflection of him would be more representative of how he felt. He grit his teeth, curled his hands into fists on the counter top, and did nothing. He couldn't afford to look like he was falling apart when it was going well. Voldemort believed that he was on his side, and he needed to keep it that way. What was losing his self respect when he was going to help save the Wizarding World?

It had been a while since Sirius saw James. Months, almost a year, actually. When he went undercover, he couldn't show up to Order meetings anymore, and he'd had to move out of the flat him and James had been sharing. It gave Lily somewhere to move in, but it felt like losing his right arm. At this point in his life, he'd rather lose his left arm, and there wasn't any way he could twist that to be a joke. He wanted this bloody mark gone. He wasn't convinced that he would stop himself from clawing it off the moment the war ended.

He bumped into James turning down a road in Diagon Alley. "Sorry mate," Sirius said before he knew who it was. Then he looked at his face and froze. "James." Sirius felt his heart start to race. This wasn't good. He could pretend alright when he was around people he didn't really care about, but James was different. He'd totally blow his cover if anyone saw him.

"Sirius," James said, sounding surprised and delighted all at once. He was grinning widely, and he pulled Sirius in for a tight hug before Sirius could bring himself to do anything but stand there. "Merlin, I've missed you so much. How've you been? I haven't seen you around." 'Around' meaning at Order meetings.

"Yeah." Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly as James let go of him. His posture made it clear that he had no intention of walking away after exchanging pleasantries.

"Look, I know that it's been weird between us since the break up and... everything-" everything meaning the war and their friends dying and Dumbledore's suspicions of there being a spy in the Order, which was what had set off Sirius into where he was now "-but we're still best mates. I wish you'd come 'round more often." Or, y'know, ever. "It's been ages since we've had a chance to talk. How've you been?"

"Fine," Sirius said shortly.

Some of the hope in James's eyes dimmed. "That's good. Erm, me and Lily are dating now."

Sirius snorted, none too nicely. "You'll shag anyone you share a flat with, I guess." He'd had to break up with James so he could go undercover, and it's not like he'd been able to explain why when he did it. But he'd always thought that they'd get back together when the war ended. It's something he'd been holding onto. That the world might be shite right now, but when it was all over, he'd be able to crawl back into bed with James and know that he was loved.

It had been stupid. James had no reason to think it was temporary, so he'd moved on. Sirius was still in love with him, but James... he'd gotten broken up with and not seen him for nearly a year, so he'd moved on because that's what people did after break ups.

Sirius swallowed. He didn't want to look at the hurt, confused expression on James's face. "Lily's great. Good for you."

"You're the one that broke up with me," James reminded him quietly. "You don't get to be mad at me for dating someone else."

"I know. Lily's great," he said again.

James looked at him for a moment, then muttered, "Yeah. Erm, you should come by for dinner so we can catch up. We can't get the whole gang together, but you and me, y'know, that shouldn't be too hard."

"I'm busy."

"I didn't say when," James pointed out. He'd started this conversation like he was on top of the world, and now it's like he was getting pushed in the mud.

Sirius clenched his jaw. "Yeah. Well. I'm busy."

"Every single day for the next month?"

"Yes," Sirius said firmly.

If it had been anyone other than James, they would have left it at that and sulked off. But it was James, and he knew Sirius too damn well to actually believe that they'd grown apart just because they weren't dating anymore. James swallowed thickly, his eyes looking a little watery behind his glasses. "You can come home whenever you want, alright? It doesn't matter how long it's been." There was a long moment of silence where James was waiting for a response. He didn't get one; Sirius couldn't give him one right now or he'd risk everything. "I'll er, let you get back to your day. I know you're busy. See you around."

Sirius only watched him for a second before he had to tear his eyes away. He wondered how much worse he could feel while still being alive. He kept thinking that he had reached his limit, and then something would happen to drag him lower. He'd reached an all new low today. Tomorrow would probably bring something worse, even if he couldn't imagine what it was right now. This is what his life had turned into: a never-ending parade of one horrible event after another.

Him and Bellatrix had never really gotten along. Until now. It was probably the worst part about this. She believed in all of this shite, and since she thought that Sirius did now too, they were getting on. She was the Death Eater he'd been spending the most time with. Sirius found himself in a pretty weird spot. He wasn't part of the inner circle, but everyone that wasn't in the inner circle treated him that way. He was good at this. Bellatrix liked him, and that was more than could be said for most of these people. Spending time with her was easier than hanging around anyone else, and it furthered his goals-- so you know, two birds with one stone, all that.

They joked that they were making up for lost time. They joked that this was family bonding time. Sirius found it made all of this a little more bearable, and he hated himself for it. This wasn't fun. Every time he left to go sleep, he found that he couldn't think about anything. He made his reports to Dumbledore when he had the time to, and other than that, he thought of nothing. If he started thinking, he wouldn't be able to stop. If he was thinking, he'd be thinking about what he did that day-- what he did the week before.

Hanging out with Bellatrix was a softer way of hating himself. He didn't have to worry about watching himself as much because Bellatrix didn't give a bollocks what he was doing as long as she didn't think he was a traitor. She might think he wasn't as invested in all the ideals, but he'd given her no reason to think that he hated every Merlin-cursed moment of this. It was good for the mission. Maybe it was better for him. He couldn't decide if it was or not. He kept flipping which one he thought was better.

"Baby brother's been snooping around the Dark Lord's robes," Bellatrix said as soon as she saw him one day.

"What?"

"Reggie. He wants to be a Death Eater. Of course, he's far too young for it. Try as he might, he was never a good replacement for you. The Dark Lord paid him a little attention before you came around to have an in with the Black family heir, but he doesn't have any use for him now that you're here. You should tell him that. Before his feelings get hurt."

Sirius snorted. "I haven't talked to Regulus since the night I left my parent's house, and I doubt he wants that to change."

"He might've done when you were a blood traitor," Bellatrix agreed easily. She tossed a scroll of parchment at Sirius. "I'm certain his opinion on you has changed in the last year. Much like my own."

Sirius unrolled the parchment. "What is this?" All it had was a single address, written in the center of the paper that was much too large for it. When he looked up from the parchment towards her, she was grinning.

"Welcome to the inner circle, cousin. You have no idea how boring it's been watching all these fools bluster around like they don't know how to handle themselves, let alone their wands."

"It sounds mildly entertaining," Sirius said lightly. "I'm burning this?" He waved the parchment around, and she nodded. He didn't bother grabbing his wand, just pinched it tightly between his fingers. This was a possibility he'd planned for, and he prayed that it wasn't obvious what was happening. It was similar in design to throwing a message through the floo, only he was sending the paper to Dumbledore instead of someone's fireplace. If he got caught right now, he'd be killed, and they would switch the meeting place and it all would've been useless. Sirius passed along intel, but they were gearing up for something big. There wasn't any point in sending him in this deep just to capture a few small fry. They were doing this to get Dumbledore and Voldemort in the same room. It was going to be a buggering blood bath for whoever else was around, but Sirius had to believe that it would all turn out in the end.

Bellatrix didn't notice anything amiss.

"I don't see why the Dark Lord wouldn't want Regulus. From what I remember, he's quite the believer in these ideals."

"He is, but he's too bright eyed. He wouldn't survive his induction."

Sirius nodded, and figured that he could warn his brother away from all of this without exposing himself. "I'll talk to him. No need for him to embarrass the lot of us by pretending he can do this."

They were silent for a minute. Then, "I heard an interesting rumour today, cousin."

"What's that?" Sirius asked, not expecting for this to be anything he gave a shite about. Most of the rumours were about other Death Eaters, and he didn't much care what was going on in their lives.

"Someone said they saw you talking to Potter." She let the sentence hang there. "It doesn't look good. Not with everything going on."

Sirius snorted and pretended that his gut wasn't churning anxiously. "He saw me in Diagon and struck up conversation. We weren't exactly braiding each other's hair and grabbing tea."

"Apparently, he was acting rather friendly."

Sirius gave her a flat look. "Have you ever met him?"

"Once or twice."

"He's friendly. He smiles a lot. And I didn't exactly tell him that I can't bloody stomach people like him when I left."

It had been a long time since Sirius had seen Regulus. His last year of Hogwarts, really. After that, they never ran into each other. He didn't see so much as a glimpse of Regulus in Diagon Alley. And now he was seeking him out to warn him away from joining the Death Eaters. As a Death Eater. This was ten kinds of fucked up, but it was what it was. If he could stop Regulus from ruining his life, then at least something good would come of him being the one who was here.

It was a Hogsmeade weekend, which meant that it was easy to go in and wait around for Regulus to see him.

"What are you doing here?" Regulus asked instead of saying anything else first-- like 'hello' to name one.

"Visiting you, obviously," Sirius said with half a smile. "You have a minute?"

Regulus nodded. Sirius hated this. The last time he'd tried to talk to Regulus, he'd gotten a wand in the face and a promise that he wouldn't hesitate if Sirius bothered him again. Now that Sirius was hurting people, his brother was willing to talk to him.

"You're trying to become a Death Eater," Sirius said once they were somewhere a little more private.

Regulus nodded again, more eager this time.

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't try and join. You wouldn't be able to do it."

Regulus scowled at him. This, at least, was more familiar territory. "I'm not incapable. I can do whatever it is."

"Would you," Sirius said flatly.

"Yes." There was a little fire behind his eyes, like he truly and honestly thought this was something he could do.

"Alright." Sirius glanced at the road and gestured at a witch he didn't recognise. If he didn't recognise her, she wasn't part of a pureblood family. "Kill her." He said it to prove a point, and also because he knew that Regulus would never do it.

Regulus swayed back, eyes wide. "What?" He wanted order and reason; there wasn't any of that to be found in what Sirius had just told him to do.

"To get the Mark, you have to follow orders without question. If they point at someone and tell you to bring them their head, you have to do it. So?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow expectantly. He glanced towards the road again, pointedly. The witch he'd pointed out before was gone, but she'd been a Hogwarts student so Regulus would be able to pick her out if he needed to. He knew that Regulus wouldn't do it, but he'd be able to stop him before anything happened. Just in case.

"What did she do?"

"Nothing."

"If she didn't do anything, then why-"

"That sounds like a question. Are you doing it or not?"

"I-" Regulus looked between Sirius's face and the street. "No. Not if she didn't do anything."

"Then stop trying to become a Death Eater. You don't have what they're looking for, and if you try to force your way in, you're going to either embarrass yourself or get hurt. Maybe both, depending on who you're dealing with. The support isn't what's bad, you trying to work your way up is. Believe me, Reg, you don't have anything they want right now."

Regulus grit his teeth, casting his eyes downward. There was a light, embarrassed flush across his cheeks.

Sirius took a chance and put a hand on his shoulder. "Focus on school, yeah? By the time you're graduated, this should all be settled and you won't have to worry about it."

Regulus breathed in, breathed out. Took another breath. "Are you coming back home?" he asked, looking up at Sirius with naked hope in his eyes.

"I may not hate everything the way I used to, but I still hate our buggering parents. I'm not interested in talking to them again."

"I can't stand that place," Regulus whispered, crestfallen. "I can't handle it without you."

"I don't remember you liking me very much when I was around."

"That's because you hated being there. You didn't like me. You were always leaving the second you could."

"Can you blame me?"

"No. I just- I hate being there."

It was a bad idea. It was a bloody terrible idea, but Sirius still opened his mouth and said, "You could stay with me over the summer if you want."

"Really?" Regulus asked, perking up.

"Sure. I'll be busy, but- yeah, why not. Merlin knows I'd do just about anything to get you away from them. How's Mum been lately?"

Regulus grimaced. "Ever since you became a Death Eater, she's been insufferable. She used to tell me that I should be better than you, and now all she does is tell me that I should be more like you. Get the favour of the Dark Lord and do better than you did so she could finally have a son she's proud of."

Sirius snorted, ruffling Regulus's hair a little. "She's gonna need to try for another kid if she wants that to happen. You're not living for her, Reg; you're living for you. Next time she tells you to do something you don't want, you tell her to sod off. And then come see me because I don't want her thinking that was invitation to knock you around. Go on, talk to your friends, run around Hogsmeade, whatever it is you do these days." It was a touch awkward talking like this, trying to find common ground and pretending like it wasn't weird that they hadn't talked in years. He was a different person now than the last time Sirius had talked to him. "Write me if you want."

In the day, Sirius talked to Regulus. That night, he stood beside Bellatrix and nearly cut someone's arm off with a curse when they pointed a wand at her; they had just been trying to protect their family.

Dumbledore wanted to wait before making a move.

He had no sodding idea why. Everything was getting worse, and he knew that Dumbledore had to have valid reasons for everything he did but it felt like Sirius wasn't going to make it out of here with his sanity intact.

He might make it out of this war. He might even make it without getting thrown in prison. He wasn't sure he'd want to make it out. With every day that passed and every new person he hurt, he was slowly growing more certain that he wouldn't know what to do with himself if he made it out alive. He was drowning in guilt, and it was only going to get worse with time.

"My Lord?" Sirius asked, looking at Voldemort with confusion.

"You have more experience with the Muggle world than anyone else here, and I need someone to meet with the werewolves on my behalf. Rather reprehensible creatures when you get down to it, but they could prove useful."

Sirius dipped his head in acceptance, and the meeting moved on.

It was almost a relief to be able to put on muggle clothes again. Trousers and a tee, and his favourite leather jacket that he hadn't been able to touch in over a year.

"You going somewhere?" Regulus asked when he saw Sirius come out of his room dressed so strangely.

"A meeting for the Dark Lord," Sirius explained, tying back his hair. It probably wouldn't come to a fight, but he wanted to be prepared. "It shouldn't take long. How's your homework going?"

"Slow," he answered, but he didn't turn his focus back to his work. He was looking at Sirius worriedly.

"D'you want me to grab take-away on my way back?"

"Is it dangerous?" Regulus asked instead of answering.

"Not particularly," Sirius said with a snort.

"Then why are you bringing a knife with you?"

"Always be prepared, Reg," Sirius said with a wink. The real answer was that spellwork had a reduced effect on werewolves. He knew from being mates with Remus that werewolves weren't automatically killers or horrible people, but right now, Sirius was part of a group that considered anyone not a pureblood beneath them. If the person he was meeting with knew that and took offense, Sirius would like to be able to get out of there alive. He didn't do all this shite just to get killed in a bar fight.

"Maybe- maybe I could go with you. To watch your back."

"No."

"I wouldn't say anything," Regulus protested.

"No." Sirius kissed the top of his head. "I'll be back in a couple hours."

"What if you don't come back?"

"I will," Sirius said, but he could tell that it didn't do shite to comfort Regulus. "Does this mean you don't want take-away?"

"Bring me back yellow curry or I'm not letting you back in the flat."

"Yellow curry for his majesty."

Regulus got to his feet to lock the door behind Sirius. "Sirius?" he asked, just before Sirius was about to apparate. "Be safe."

"Always am," Sirius lied with a grin. He appeared in an alley a little ways away from the pub they were supposed to meet in and started walking over. Voldemort hadn't exactly been very descriptive when he told Sirius to go to this meeting. He'd said something along the lines of 'get them on our side' and that was it. He didn't say how, what Sirius was supposed to come out of this meeting with, or what he was offering them in return for their cooperation. He was going in blind and he didn't care for that at all, but it was what it was.

He only had a minute to wonder if he was going to recognise who he was meeting, because then he walked in the pub and saw Fenrir sodding Greyback sat at the bar, a beer in front of him and a disinterested expression on his face. He was the strongest man in the room, and he knew it.

Sirius slid onto the barstool next to him and ordered a whiskey. "You want one?" he asked Greyback.

Greyback shook his head. "I'm surprised it's you. You're friends with my newest pack member. The way he acts, none of his mates have ever had the guts to cut someone open just to see how much they bleed."

"I wasn't aware that was something I'd done," was all Sirius said. He didn't want to think about who the hell the newest pack member was supposed to be. Remus was the only candidate for that since he was the only werewolf Sirius had been friends with, but Remus had always been terrified at the thought of even seeing Greyback again. It didn't seem very likely that he would volunteer to be with Greyback's pack.

Greyback snorted, amused. "I hear what you Death Eater types get up to."

"Then why show up to this?"

Greyback smiled, all teeth. "I was interested in hearing your pitch. What are you promising? Equal rights for us killing your enemies for you?"

"How does staying out of the fighting sound?" Sirius said, raising an eyebrow at him coolly. Greyback wouldn't accept, which was a damn good thing-- for all his confusion over the situation, he knew that it wasn't what Voldemort wanted.

"Like hell we will," he said with another snort.

Well that didn't take much effort on his part. Greyback wanted to fight, and he knew that neither the Ministry nor the Order was going to make Greyback an offer. "So you want to fight, but you're not willing to admit it. Let's say that we aren't offering you anything. You'd still get your pick of whatever you find after the ash settles. Would the Ministry promise you the same? The current Ministry, that is." Sirius took a sip to pretend like he didn't fucking hate himself.

Fenrir barked out a laugh. It reminded Sirius of the way he laughed. "I can see why they sent you. Surprised you and little Lupin were mates back in the day."

"He's in your pack now?" Sirius asked with the faintest traces of surprise in his voice. He wanted to call Greyback a liar, but he didn't know if he was lying about this or not.

"Aye, and hating every moment of it."

"He never was very adaptable," Sirius said idly. He took another sip. "How has your pack been doing?"

"Are you really looking to make small talk with me, Black?" Greyback asked.

"We're allies, aren't we? Allies make small talk."

"I didn't agree to anything."

"A mere formality. We both know which way you're going to lean. Would you like for me to pretend I don't so you can feel superior? Because I can do that."

"Hmph. You're awfully comfortable here," Greyback noted. "Do your blood purist friends know how comfortable you are in a muggle pub?"

"Why do you think I'm the one that was sent? Anyone else would be as noticeable as blood on a white cloth in here. You sure I can't buy you a drink?"

"I don't drink with people that think I'm scum."

Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourself." He drained the rest of his glass and paid the bartender. "I'm sure you know how to reach us if you want to talk." He spotted Gideon in the corner but pretended like he didn't and kept walking for the door. If Gideon was here for anything other than surveillance, this could get messy.

He made his way down the road, turned a corner, and bit back a curse; Gideon was following him.

A real fucking bad time later, Sirius apparated on the doorstep of his and Reg's flat. He knocked on the door and leaned heavily against the frame. It felt like he had a sodding hole in his side. It wasn't easy to go in a fight and pretend like he wasn't trying to figure out a way he could leave without making it look like he was running away. He wasn't going to seriously injure Gideon, but he couldn't make it look that way. The end result was him, bleeding out, and Gideon temporarily not being able to hear. Gideon hadn't been in top form tonight, and it was a damn good thing that Sirius hadn't wanted to kill him because he would've been able to. It was an even better thing that Bellatrix hadn't been there, because she would've done it, no hesitation.

This was wearing on him. If he didn't chug some water and get some sleep, he was going to be dangerously close to breaking down. Talking to Greyback had been easy, and he hated how easy it had been to talk to him like he actually wanted the shite they mentioned. Fighting Gideon had been hard, but it would've been easy to send a curse that would've immobilized him; what Sirius hated more than anything else that had happened tonight was that he'd been a hell of a lot closer to just fucking doing it than he ever wanted to be.

The door opened, and Reg's eyes went wide. "Oh Salazar," he breathed. He pulled Sirius in the flat and locked the door again. "What happened?"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to ask questions you don't want the answer for, Regulus," Sirius said tiredly. He pat his brother on the shoulder and moved to limp to the washroom, but Regulus stopped him from getting more than a couple steps in. "What?"

"Someone's here-"

"What? And you let them in? You don't fucking let people in-"

"But he just wanted to talk to you-"

"Who the hell is it?"

James appeared over Regulus's shoulder with a sheepish expression, and Sirius immediately shook his head.

"No. No. Get out, now."

"I just wanted to talk to you, and Regulus said I could wait here while you got back."

"He should've said no. Get out." Angrily, Sirius shoved past Regulus.

"Sirius, c'mon, just two minutes and then I'll leave."

"How about you leave now instead of wasting your time?"

"He's here because he cares about you," Regulus said, sounding pained. "I'm trying to help-"

"Well don't. I don't need your help, and the last thing we need is for someone to see him here."

"If you would just-"

"No!" Sirius screamed, slamming the side his fist into the wall. It was on one of the support beams, and his hand was shaking from pain now. "You don't understand; you don't understand any of this! If they think we're betraying them-- if they even suspect that we're switching sides, they'll kill us. Do you get that? They won't bloody hesitate to kill me, and you'll be too big of a risk, so they'll get rid of you too! There's no point to this- there's no point to any of this if we're just going to get fucking murdered because you're not being careful." Sirius took in a quick, shaky breath. "We're not doing that." He turned and kept walking to the washroom.

It should've been good news that Regulus wanted for them to get out, but Sirius needed for him to keep his head down or they were going to get caught. Grimacing, Sirius peeled off his jacket and tossed it in the tub. He'd probably be able to patch it back together. Later. Right now, he was still bleeding and was starting to get lightheaded. He sat down heavily on the toilet lid and tried to catch his breath.

There were light footsteps coming up to him, and it had been a while, but he still recognised the way James sounded. "Go 'way."

James ignored him and closed the door. It was either to give them privacy or so Regulus couldn't see. It didn't really matter why he did it; Sirius was happy it was done all the same. "Where's your stuff?"

Sirius thought about telling him to bugger off again, but it hadn't worked so far and he doubted that this would be the time James listened. He was pretty sure he was crying now. Tears of pain or exhaustion, he wasn't quite sure, but it was happening. Regulus would probably come in to help him if James left, but he didn't have a lot of experience with it since Sirius tried to take care of it before he saw. "Under the sink."

"Is all of this your blood?" James asked quietly, eyeing Sirius's blood soaked shirt as he grabbed the box.

"Which answer are you hoping for?"

"I don't like seeing you hurt, if that's what you're getting at. Come on, let's get your shirt off; I need to get at the wound."

Sirius didn't really help, but he also didn't struggle when James pulled up the edges of his shirt and gingerly pulled it off.

James's mouth twisted when he saw the gash on Sirius's side. "I'm surprised you're still standing."

"Gideon's not got very good aim." Sirius tried for a laugh, but it just sounded like a sob. "Dunno if it was on purpose or not. He should be more careful. Someone else would've killed him."

"Why didn't you?" James asked, and Sirius had to grit his teeth as James dotted a disinfectant across the cut. "I mean, I'm not complaining. Definitely not complaining. Gideon's a good guy, and I'm glad he's okay-"

"I didn't say he was okay, I said he wasn't dead."

James swallowed thickly. He switched to the blood clotting potion and got a clean wipe. "It's still good. You're- you're a better person than you think you are. I don't know what happened to make you think you had to do this, but you don't. No matter what you've done, we can figure it out. All you have to do is let me know that you're willing to try, and we can do it. There's- you haven't done anything you can't come back from. Okay?"

Sirius shook his head. He couldn't do this. He couldn't look at James and tell him that this was who he was now, not when James was so focused on getting him back.

James didn't reply straight away. He put something on it to numb the pain, then bandaged it, carefully wrapping the material around Sirius's torso so it wouldn't fall off but also wouldn't make it hard to breathe. He had practice with this, and it wasn't from Hogwarts. "This isn't you," he whispered when he was done. He put everything back in the box and put it under the sink. He threw the soiled wipes in the bin. He didn't bother getting up from where he was sitting, propped up on his knees. "You might think that you have to do this, but I know you, and I know that you can be better than this. There are other options, other-"

Sirius put a hand over his mouth to stop him from continuing and shook his head as tears started to bead in his eyes. "I can't do this with you," he mumbled, dropping his hand. He hadn't realised it until James curled his fingers into his forearm that he'd used his left hand. James was touching his Dark Mark and looking at him like he still thought they could get past this.

"All you have to do is tell me yes. Tell me yes, and I'll take care of it. We'll get you out, and Regulus can come with you so he'll be safe. It'll be-"

"Shut up."

"But-"

"Just stop talking," Sirius said.

"Sirius," James pleaded, framing Sirius's face with his hands. "Why are you doing this? You know it won't end well-"

"Stop it."

"Please."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. I know you; I know who you are and what you're capable of, and you can."

"You're not listening to me," Sirius said, shaking his head. There were tears falling from the corners of his eyes and he didn't think he could stop it if his life depended on it. "Dumbledore... he- he needed to know what was going on. Who else could've gone? You? You wouldn't have lasted a week. And that's- that's if they even believed you. They wouldn't have."

It would've been funny to see that look of shock on James's face in any other context. Sirius had never truly been able to surprise James before. "You... Dumbledore sent you in there? But- Sirius, you can't- what if you get hurt? You could be killed, and none of us- we wouldn't know. It's too dangerous. Tell Dumbledore that you can't do it. Hell, I'll tell him for you," James said, wiping some of the tears from his cheeks. "Please," he whispered. He got a little closer and pressed a quick, hasty kiss to Sirius's mouth. "Please, just come home. I need you safe." He kissed him again. And again and again until Sirius put a hand on his chest and put some space between them.

"You have to go," Sirius said. His voice was shaking. His hand was shaking.

"What?" James asked, sounding crushed. "No. I meant what I said, we can get you and Regulus safe. Going back there and pretending to be one of them is going to get you killed. Look at what happened tonight! Gideon hurt you, and it's going to happen again."

"This is- this is more than me. You think I wanted to leave you?" he asked. He started to cry again. "You think I want to be out there, surrounded by people who would torture me if they had any idea why I was there? You have to go. If any of them find out that you were here and that you were talking to Regulus, he'd get killed. I'm just trying to make it out of this alive, and you aren't making it easy right now."

"But..." James wanted to protest. He wanted to stay here and talk to Sirius until he convinced him to come home. It was war and nowhere was safe, but at least he'd be safer than he was here, in a flat where Death Eaters knew he lived and had access to. "You could get hurt. More than this-- more than what just happened. What if you get hurt more than you can heal from?"

"There's no backing out," Sirius said, shaking his head. "I don't get to skip home with you and pretend like this never happened. I'm involved. The war isn't over. When it is..." he trailed off, letting the hope of what-could-be fill the silence.

"When the war's done, you come home."

Sirius nodded. "But for now, you need to go, and we can't talk again."

"Yeah," James whispered, like it he wasn't loud when he said it, maybe it wouldn't be true.

"You can't talk to Regulus either," Sirius added.

"I know," James said quietly. His hands were on Sirius's thighs, frozen from where they'd been when he was kissing him. "It sounds barmy, but I really did think I was going to come in here and... save you." His hands slid a little back towards himself.

Sirius laughed wetly. "My knight in shining armour."

"That's how all the good romances go, isn't it?"

He gave a small nod.

"I come riding in to rescue you, and it's hard but of course it all works out in the end. You come home and when we kiss if feels like happily ever after."

"It's a nice story," Sirius said, wiping at his face.

"Better than the one we're living.

"I guess that'll depend on the ending."

"S'pose so. I'll leave," he said, but he didn't move a millimetre. "One more kiss?"

Sirius shook his head even though denying him left a physical ache in his chest. "I wouldn't be able to stop with just one."

"Yeah," he agreed, but he was just as forlorn about it. "That's smart." He took his hands away, shuffled back, and got to his feet.

Sirius stayed where he was, sat on top of the toilet seat. "If anyone asks, I kicked you out; you tried to talk sense into me, and it didn't work. Say that Regulus threatened you, but you wouldn't leave."

"Is that really necessary?"

Sirius thought about the spy that Dumbledore thought was in the Order. He thought about the one minute encounter they'd had in Diagon Alley that Bellatrix had been worried about. He thought about his conversation with Greyback and how he tried to get under Sirius's skin by insisting he had Remus in his pack. "Yes."

James sagged a little bit. He'd come over here with hopes of saving the love of his life and them happily leaving together, and instead, he'd learned that Sirius wasn't in need of saving. He couldn't tell anyone, and he didn't get to bring him home. "Alright," he said quietly, then, stronger, "Alright." He opened the door and left the flat. There was no hesitation in his step, and his stride was confident. Sirius just wished that either of them could enjoy it.

James knew that eventually, Sirius would be back. Him and Lily weren't together anymore, and maybe it should make him feel worse that James didn't have that extra bit of comfort in his life, but he had that to look forward to again. They still loved each other. For fuck's sake, James had thought he was a Death Eater, and he still came here to get Sirius back. That was the kind of all consuming need Sirius had for James that he hadn't known was reciprocated. Just a little more time... however long this war took, and they could be together again. He'd be worse for the time apart, but he was going to have James back; he had something to look forward to at the end of all this shite.

A minute later, Regulus poked his head in. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Don't talk to him anymore."

"But Sirius, he could help you. You used to be so close in Hogwarts. Bloody hell, you moved in with him when you left our parents."

"Reg?"

"Yes?"

"We are going to talk about this, and you are going to drop it. Stop talking to him. You're not going to look him up, and you're not going to look up anybody else under Dumbledore's command."

Regulus's expression hardened. "This doesn't sound like us talking about it; it sounds like you ordering me to stay out of it. I've already heard that, and I disagreed. Don't you see Sirius? We're on the wrong side. You're trying to get us through this, but then what? Let's say that we live through to the end of this. What happens after that? We listen to the Dark Lord and try to kill every muggle? We- we 'purify' the Wizarding World, and then? Then what? What happens? It's a trap, one we wouldn't be able to get out of once we find ourselves that deep."

"Reg." Sirius took a deep breath and put his hands on his brother's shoulders. "I can't talk about it. I am going to keep doing what I'm doing, and you are going to keep your head down and pretend like you're not thinking about any of this. James isn't going to seek you out again, and you are not going to go looking for him." He gave Regulus a look that he hoped was sufficiently piercing. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"You're...?" Regulus trailed off and didn't pick his sentence back up. His expression had changed enough that it was obvious he understood. "Oh. Yes," he said quietly. "I'll... er." He practically fled to his room instead of finishing his sentence.

That was alright. He understood now. He knew how severe this was. He couldn't talk to anyone about this, and he wasn't going to. Sirius had said that they weren't going to mention it again after they finished talking, and Regulus may not have agreed at first, but he did now.

It didn't make his life better, but it was one less thing to worry about.

All in all, it felt like the ending was a little anticlimactic. Sure Bellatrix had nearly killed him and he ended up in hospital for a full week, but he never came face to face with Voldemort over it. While Dumbledore was dealing with Voldemort, it came out that Sirius wasn't truly a Death Eater, and Bellatrix decided that her precious Dark Lord would be able to handle Dumbledore while she fought Sirius. They were pretty evenly matched, but in the end, it became obvious that Bellatrix was the better fighter. Sirius would've died if Regulus hadn't snuck up from behind and stunned her.

She hadn't even thought about it even though they both knew that he was there. Everyone underestimated Regulus-- including Sirius. Neither of them had thought he'd get involved. Sirius was grateful to not be dead, but he was scared shitless about what could have happened to him if Bellatrix had been paying more attention. Neither of them would have made it out of there alive, and what was the sodding point in warning Regulus off if he was going to go and get himself killed anyway?

Sirius got released from St. Mungo's, but he still had to wait around doing nothing while his trial was put together. Dumbledore came by to assure him that it would be alright. With Dumbledore defeating his second Dark Lord and vouching for Sirius being on the right side, he believed that it would be fine, but it didn't make the waiting any easier.

James came to visit, of course-- Regulus would have, but he was back at Hogwarts trying desperately to pass his classes. Peter was dead. James didn't tell him who did it-- and he wasn't sure if James was holding back the information intentionally or if he didn't know-- but it was someone in the Order that did it; that much was obvious.

Remus came to visit, and he didn't look too great. It reminded Sirius of the way he'd looked in the mirror back when he let himself do it. Like Remus had had to claw out his insides and replace it with something he hated. "Hey," he said quietly. He was fidgeting with his hands instead of looking up at Sirius.

"Hey Moony. How is it out there?"

He gave an uncomfortable shrug. "It could be worse."

"Things can always be worse," Sirius responded.

"Greyback... he said that he talked to you."

"Yeah."

"He- erm- he said that you were the one to recruit the werewolves to Voldemort's side. Is that true?"

Sirius snorted, and it hurt. "I talked to Greyback about joining. He didn't take much convincing. He wanted an excuse to get involved and I gave it to him. And before you get too mad at me for that, Dumbledore told me to do whatever it took to blend in. Self-sabotage would've gotten me killed and been no good to anyone. He only told you that to get under your skin."

"Are you an expert on him now?"

"He told me that you were with his pack," Sirius said, turning his head to look at Remus full on. "He didn't tell me that out of the goodness of his heart; he told me because he wanted a reaction."

"So I shouldn't react to you- you doing all that?"

"Hm." Sirius turned to look at the wall again. "Go bitch about it with someone that cares. You can't make me feel worse about myself than I already do. You should be pretty familiar with that trick; I learned it from you."

"...I keep expecting for you to be different. Like maybe everything I ever knew about you wasn't real, but it's still you," Remus said quietly. "You're the same Sirius that I knew in school." He let out a small laugh. "How the hell did you convince any of them that you were on their side?"

"They weren't looking very closely," Sirius said casually. They'd been looking, but not at the right parts. It helped that none of them had known him at school. They'd heard stories, of course, but he hadn't interacted with any of them. Other than Snape, but Snape hadn't gotten along with Bellatrix either so it hadn't been a mark against him.

"You did things you regret."

"That's not exactly new."

They chatted back and forth about things neither of them wanted to talk about it, then Remus left. When Lily showed up less than an hour later, Sirius had to wonder if they had written up a schedule for visiting him; it sounded like something James would do.

Lily sat down on the other side of the bars, legs crossed and leaning forward where her arms were resting on her knees. Since Remus had stayed standing and at a distance the entire time he was there, it was a welcome sight to have someone be so comfortable with him. "Gideon heard the truth from Dumbledore," she said first thing instead of a greeting, "and he wanted me to tell you that he's sorry. I hope you know what that means because when I asked for him to elaborate, he refused, and said that you would know what he was talking about. So do you know what he's talking about?"

Sirius chuckled and nodded. "Tell him it's fine. How have you been, Lily? James said that you dated for a while."

"I wouldn't call one month 'a while'," Lily said, making a face. "Went on, like, three dates, and it was just James trying to get over you."

"Why'd you say yes?" Sirius asked curiously. "You weren't interested in him at all at Hogwarts."

"I wasn't interested in him because he was pining over his best mate. You broke up and I figured why not? It's not like it was going to go anywhere. He misses you, you know."

"He was here earlier," Sirius said, but he did know what Lily was talking about. The war was over now, but Sirius wasn't free. They couldn't be together again yet because they couldn't even touch while he was awaiting trial. "How are you? I heard... well, I heard that something might have happened to your family." It was probably someone talking out of their arse, but he hadn't had a chance to follow up and see if they'd killed Lily's parents or not. Not to mention that any information about Lily had been hard to believe because some of the Death Eaters had lied to get under Snape's skin about it.

He'd thought that he was doing pretty well. He only had a couple nightmares, but James had nightmares too. They were back to living in the same flat, sharing the same bed, and that was worlds better than what he'd thought he'd get at the end of all this.

He sort of had a breakdown. It hadn't felt like a breakdown at the time, but hindsight was twenty-twenty. He'd gotten a glimpse of the Dark Mark on his arm and he'd just- snapped. He hadn't wanted it anymore. He didn't deserve to carry it around; he was a fucking good person and he didn't deserve to bear this damn brand like he'd made the bad decisions to lead him here. He just... wanted it gone.

He scratched at his arm so hard that his skin tore and blood sluggishly seeped out. It wasn't getting rid of it. He barely remembered grabbing the knife, but he definitely remembered the pain of it afterwards.

It looked bad. He knew the moment James walked in that it looked worse than it was. James took the knife from him and practically threw it across the room. It landed with a clatter on the hard wood, and blood started dripping off the blade and gathering in a small puddle. "That's gonna stain the floor," Sirius slurred. He must have lost more blood than he thought. He swayed, but James was there to catch him before he could do more than begin to think of falling down.

James patched him up, forced some water down his throat, then dragged Sirius back to bed and wrapped his arms so tightly around Sirius it was obvious he was worried about something happening again.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," Sirius muttered in the quiet night air of their room. "I just wanted it gone."

"You could've talked to me about it," James said.

"It itched." That was the only reason he had for doing what he'd done. At the time, it had made sense. He grabbed James's hand and pressed a tremulous kiss to his knuckles. "I promise I won't do it again."

James swallowed thickly. "I just- I'm so worried about you. I keep thinking that I'll come home and you'll be dead on the floor and-" his breath hitched and he couldn't go on.

Sirius had to squeeze his eyes closed before he could start crying. He was tired of crying. It felt like all he did was cry-- despite the fact that he normally didn't let himself get to that point. "It won't happen," he promised, and his voice was wobbling. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"I want you to be alive because you want to be alive," James sobbed. "If you're not happy-"

"It's not like that. I'm not suicidal; I just wanted the buggering Mark gone."

James held him even tighter and didn't say anything else. Falling asleep these days was never easy, but they managed it. This would probably sound better in the morning.

Regulus blinked up at them. Sirius and James had talked about it, and they didn't see why Sirius's offer to Regulus about somewhere to live should be any different than it was before. "You want me to live with you?" he asked, like he couldn't believe it.

"Yeah. I mean, why not?"

"I- I can't. I can't."

"Why? You were going to before."

"Our parents were scared of you when I agreed. With- with everything, they'd show up and-"

"And what?" James said. "They show up and try to drag you back with them, and they won't be able to."

Sirius nodded in agreement with what James said. "I just spent the last two years pretending to be a Death Eater. Our parents can't do anything worse than what any of them did. If you want to be away from them, you'll be safe with us."

Regulus swallowed thickly. "I'll think about it," he said, but Sirius knew that the answer was going to be yes.

James quit the Aurors.

"I thought you liked being an Auror?"

"I liked helping people, but..." James grimaced. "It wasn't really about that. I couldn't quit in the middle of the war."

"But the war is over so you're getting the hell out of there."

"Exactly."

Neither of them said anything, and James went back to staring at the book in front of him without reading it. He'd been open to that page for the last twenty minutes, and his eyes weren't moving. He'd flipped the page before that, but Sirius wasn't convinced he'd read anything on the page. It's not like Sirius was doing any better. Instead of drinking the tea in front of him, he had his hands wrapped around it and took the occasional sip until it went cold, then he reheated the tea and did it all over again. In the past two hours, he'd refilled his drink maybe once.

"It wasn't like this," Sirius mumbled. He didn't mean to say anything; it came spilling out, and he couldn't stop it.

"Hm?"

"Before. Us. It wasn't like this."

"What do you mean?" James asked, looking up from his book. He didn't look at Sirius like he was in love with him. Right now, Sirius could be any of their friends, and it wouldn't make a difference. There were dark circles under his eyes like he wasn't sleeping, even though Sirius knew for a fact that he was; it must not be very restful sleep he was getting. Either that, or he wasn't happy-- but even now, Sirius didn't want to think about it.

Sirius swallowed so hard it hurt his throat. He looked deeper into his cup, like he'd be able to hide in the dregs gathering on the bottom of the cup rather than finish this conversation.

"Sirius?" he prodded.

He shook his head. "Forget it."

"No, c'mon. What were you talking about?"

Sirius swallowed again and took a pull from his cup. "It's like... we're not even in love anymore." He squeezed his eyes shut rather than look at James's expression. Hearing the sharp breath he took was bad enough. "I don't feel anything anymore except horrible." He flinched in surprise when James touched his arm, even though his hand was gentle.

"I can't- I can't speak for you, but I still love you. It's... hard. To get past everything. But it's- we can't be the way we were before. Things have changed. We're not two kids fresh out of Hogwarts. Regulus is going to be living with us soon. It's safe to say that neither of us would have expected that before. I threw my career out the window, and you have a tattoo you can't get rid of and you hate. All of this, it's- we're working past it. It's not-" James had to pause to sniffle and wipe haphazardly at his face "-it's not that we don't still love each other," he said, voice thick. "It's that we have other shite to worry about. I can't spend hours playing with your hair anymore. Neither of us can handle it like we used to. It feels different. We're different. It doesn't have to be bad; it's just different than how it used to be."

"I..." Sirius opened his eyes and looked at James's hand on his arm. His left arm. James's fingers against the black of the Dark Mark, and he didn't even care. James hadn't done this on purpose; he touched Sirius because this was how they always acted around each other. Casual touches and being around each other, even if they were quiet. The quiet was more recent for happening in the middle of the day, but it was still them. "Yeah," Sirius whispered. "Different doesn't have to be bad. I just..."

"Just what?"

"It sounds terrible."

"Say it anyways."

"I'm used to seeing you smile," Sirius admitted quietly. "You used to look at me and it's like you were automatically happy because of it. It's not like that anymore." A beat. "I told you it was terrible."

James squeezed his arm, and Sirius looked at him. James gave him a tremulous smile. It was tinged with more sadness than Sirius had thought him capable of when they'd first gotten together. "Seeing you makes me happy, still. It always will."

"More worries?"

James nodded. "It's not as easy as it used to be, but seeing you here, alive, is definitely a bright spot for me. I worry more. I'm scared more. But you... you always make me feel better."

"Even when I do shit you don't like?"

James let out a surprised laugh. "Even then. I know that- that some days it's not as obvious. Like right now, when you looked at me and thought I didn't love you anymore, but I do. Every single day, Sirius."

It should have brought his mood up-- and it did, in a way-- but he started crying. He slunk out of his seat to go round to where James was sitting and sort of fell into him, but James was there to catch him.

James was always there to catch him.

#prongsfoot #marauders #fanfic #sirius black #james potter #regulus black #lily evans #remus lupin #filled #first war #established relationship #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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