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nicomoon69 · 2 months

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so in my spider! Bernard AU I’m slightly changing up his character so here’s basics on Bernard:

- Bernard is still into cooking and it started years back purely because he didn’t trust the food industry. that meant he spent ages learning how to cook and figuring out how to make a lot of popular food items. he has a little list of companies he trusts and doesn’t. he doesn’t want to open a restaurant anymore/become a chef, more so being interested in keeping himself and others healthy

- Bernard knows a freaky amount of things he probably shouldn’t but masks knowing said knowledge with his conspiracy theories (he only believes in like half of them) so to most people he’s just a crazy guy saying crazy things. he still ends up being on a few watchlists so he tries to throw those off by also being a conspiracist online (he also truly enjoys it, but that’s an added bonus)

- Bernard’s actually really smart but due to above as well as a lack of giving a shit about school material (he prefers scientific what ifs and weapon/super hero/vigilante stuff) so he ended up not being able to get into the courses he would’ve preferred due to his mostly average grades. it’s why he’s now double majoring in physics and biology in hopes of getting to do a masters in something closer to that (also a bit of pressure from his parents)

- Bernard has had suit designs for himself and other vigilantes just lying around (which is also how he got a pretty functional suit in a pretty short amount of time). it was mostly a hobby where he’d think about what if scenarios

- Bernard when possible does everything on paper, since he doesn’t trust the government and other big corporations. it’s why his empty apartment has stacks of paper laying around (all neatly categorized and sealed, but it looks like a mess to anyone else)

- kinda in the same vein as the last one but Bernard has most of his money in cash, only having what is absolutely necessary on his bank account. he also claims it saves him money since he can’t just freely spend money with a tap of his card (it’s kind of true since when he had to spend money for his suit he actually had most of it lying around)

- Bernard had a short phase in high school that had him convinced he needed to learn russian so he can now speak a bit of russian, but most importantly he can do the accent really well. it’s what he used as spiderman to throw people off of his identity (it gives Tim a genuine headache)

- Bernard works a part time job at a restaurant as an assistant chef (he needs to buy groceries and pay rent after all). it’s a little italian diner a few blocks from his apartment. he always get leftovers and food that’s about to spoil to reduce their waste

I don’t know if I missed anything important, but this is basically going to be my characterization on him! if you have any suggestions or can point to canon that directly conflicts with these ideas pls lmk! I’m always up to revise my stuff :)

#spiderman benard dowd #bernard dowd #dc #dc hcs #my brain

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captainsy-cookiemonster · 4 months

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Random Escaped Audios character headcanons (semi domestic... Idk?)

Escaped and Jean sleep with socks on, a habit they picked up in prison.

Escaped also sleeps with the mask on sometimes. And only in his boxers... And socks. Sexy. Seductive, even. 😂

Jean sleeps in whatever he wore that day minus the pants. Crinkled dress shirts all the way. (if he even gets sleep that is) On really bad days, before the intern, he just threw on pants the next day and was ready to go. (yes he did shower... But he put his old clothes back on)

Precious baby boy Ivan (actually adorable dilf... ESCAPED NO YOU DID NOT SEE THAT!!!😳) sleeps in matching pyjama sets and even got some for Raven and Paloma so they all three can match! of course the pj's are bird themed!

Now that I'm on a "what they wear to bed" trip... Alphonso does the classic t-shirt and boxers combo, jogging pants if he's cold. Plus a hoodie if he's really cold. Which is rare. Or... Well... His slayer uniform.

Benji does the t-shirt boxer combo too. All year. He mostly wears his old college (or band👀) tees to sleep.

You cannot convince me Crow "i don't have use for t-shirts" doesn't (didn't 😢) sleep butt ass naked. Either that or fully... Clothed? As clothed as he is. Leather harness shoulder bracer and all. There's no in between.

Enough of the sleep hc's... 🙈 Onto the random stuff

Nap dates with Jean!

Escaped has a sweet tooth. Also LOVES home cooked meals. After all the junk in prison, he loves the times in between where he gets to eat real food. If he could choose between take out or home cooked it's home cooked all the way. (one of the goons is a fantastic cook)

He misses his mom's food, though.

Escaped does finger guns all. The fucking. Time. Like...🧍‍♂️... 👉👉...🧍‍♂️

Alsoooo... Escaped and spiderman kisses!

I have many feelings about our slutty villain soo... He's a cuddler. Big time. Won't admit it, but likes being the little spoon (kinda mentioned in the audio). Will also lie on top of you if he catches you lying around, and put his head on your tiddies or tummy.

Crow has one of those photo calendars on his desk. It's with cats. Doesn't use it for calendar stuff... Only has it for the pictures. Gets new ones every year but keeps the old ones in a drawer in his desk.

Benji, our precious marine biologist (yes shh i know it's not exactly his job), is the same but with sea animals.

Also... Benji makes mixtapes. Not just early into the relationship, but also after he got married. It's his anniversary gift. Literally spends all year compiling a playlist, and a movie watchlist for datenights!

Picnic beach dates with Benji!

And forest or bird watching dates with Ivan (birbs☺️)

Also 100% convinced Ivan manages to befriend the crows he's feeding & playing with and they bring him gifts in return.

Jean likes his hair to be played with. (shout out to @stupd000 for saying he likes having his hair pulled🙈)

He also learns more songs on the ukulele and he and the intern sing together. Not very well, but it's cute. When the singing gets too bad, one would just kiss the other to shut them up.

Alphonso keeps souvenirs of the places he visits on hunts and keeps them in his room at the slayers' stronghold when he's there.

Jean is a bit jittery from all the coffee he drinks. Goes through withdrawl after escaping the mafia. But now he's down to the normal amount of coffee for a day (like... 2-4 cups a day)

Ivan will come and wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your (Raven's) shoulder while you two cook together. Will steal bits of food, too.

Ivan does wood carvings sometimes. He carved a little raven for Raven. Paloma painted it hot pink, she's very proud of it!

Once at safety, Jean adopts a stray dog... which turn into three.

Ivan will totally bring home injured animals (especially, ofc, birds) and nurse them back to health.

Okay I think that's all I can come up with for now

#Escaped audios #Against the World #the neon barbarian #neon wings #matador gothic #the new jersey rats #chronus seven #audio rp #audio roleplay #escaped audios headcanons

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ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense · 3 months

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Can you not be so fucking rude and aggressive, and making assumptions about what I think about other movies just because I think the ghibli and spiderman movies deserve the same recognition as other movies? Like holy shit what is your fucking problem, and to be all petty like "no im not gonna watch movies made by one of the most beloved animation filmmakers of all time because you recommended it to me and I think you're dumb >:( !!" Like maybe youre the one who need to grow up holy shit.

And idk, maybe it's a bad thing that only specific types of movies get certain nominations

You’ve come into my inbox shitting yourself publicly because I said that animated movies not appearing in the best picture category is the least of the problems with The Oscars and is highly blown out of proportion by animation brats. It’s not my fault that you can’t take the reality that you wanting a win to waive in someone’s face when they say they don’t watch animated movies like “oh but see this one won best picture!” Isn’t important.

Furthermore, I am not in the business of taking orders on my own page from a scared, mouthy asshole on anon whose media diet consists of whatever animation Twitter puts in front of them. On my tone or my watchlist.

I reiterate. Grow up.

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murderballadeer · 5 months

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#it's such a weird collection of films but i just sorted by highest average rating and that's what i was given #soapbox

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gayvbros · 2 years

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random venture bros headcanons

✧˖° hank still can’t really tie his shoes. he prefers velcro.

✧˖° dermott and hank keep in touch over social media and regularly play minecraft or similar games together online.

✧˖° hank likes to make dean mad by pretending he genuinely believes the earth is flat. dean thinks he’s going crazy because of this.

✧˖° jared finds the spiderman pajamas. he doesn’t tell dean because he doesn’t want him to be embarrassed, but he thinks it’s really cute.

✧˖° when either of the venture bros come out they come out to brock first. brock is touched that they would tell him first! he’ll pat each of them on the back and give a stern approving nod but on the inside he’s really proud.

✧˖° after his disastrous attempt at running dean decides to pick up “easier” exercises. so he starts doing yoga! he’s surprisingly good at it.

✧˖° rusty eventually starts going to therapy again, one on one. it helps him learn to cope and realize that he can help break the cycle and be a better father. he eventually puts these coping mechanisms into practice.

✧˖° rusty tries to bond with the boys through their interests. It works most of the time. hank enjoys destroying him in call of duty and dean is glad that rusty is taking an interest in his studies, even if it’s not super science.

✧˖° pete and billy regularly go on romantic dinner dates. they don’t realize it’s romantic.

✧˖° the triad has “guy’s nights” where they hang out and watch trash tv and play board games and drink wine! they have a great time.

✧˖° jefferson twilight knits frequently and sometimes gifts other members of the triad hand knitted sweaters and scarves.

✧˖° orpheus volunteers at an animal shelter regularly. all of the animals love him and he laments the fact that he can’t adopt all of them.

✧˖° hunter, molotov, and dr girlfriend have girls nights where they shit talk the men in their life. amber comes sometimes!

✧˖° brock slips up and calls hunter “mom” one day and hunter makes fun of him for it but secretly she thinks it’s sweet and appreciates it.

✧˖° once molotov joins osi her and amber start talking. molotov convinces amber to leave her shitty boyfriend and they slowly start liking eachother. they haven’t started anything yet because molotov doesn’t want to rush her but it’s inevitable.

✧˖° brock gets over his obsession with molotov and they actually become good friends. they constantly roast eachother.

✧˖° every year for their anniversary the monarch buys sheila an extravagant expensive gift. after going bankrupt he starts making gifts from scratch for her. at first he was embarrassed and unsure if she would like it but she lets him know she appreciates the effort and loves anything he gives to her. now he makes more and more every year. she keeps each gift proudly displayed.

✧˖° gary starts lifeguarding during the summer. he takes his job very seriously. hot moms regularly flirt with him at the pool which makes him flustered. once he slipped and fell because one was really forward with her advances.

✧˖° gary goes to conventions and gets to fanboy! the monarch goes with him sometimes.

✧˖° sheila buys a shit ton of bath and body works candles. her favorite scent is honeycrisp apples, but she’s not picky!

✧˖° hank makes fun of dean for watching anime but he enjoys jojo! he’ll let some other anime’s slip into his watchlist as well.

✧˖° sometimes on days where he’s feeling confident gary will flex in front of the mirror and do silly poses! he gets really embarrassed when sheila or the monarch catches him.

✧˖° gary cries every time he watches marley and me. every single time.

✧˖° hank is actually pretty good at cooking! he’s able to follow any recipe and even do some improvised cooking! don’t let him bake though.

✧˖° dean is the exact opposite. he can make amazing muffins or cakes but don’t let him make spaghetti. he’ll even burn cereal.

✧˖° the monarch has no sense of direction. sheila and gary have to be the gps.

✧˖° al and shoreleave have spontaneous date nights! they are never bored when they’re together. they always have fun no matter what they’re doing.

✧˖° pete’s love for billy is obvious to everyone except billy. everyone knows pete loves billy but he’ll never tell him. he doesn’t want to lose him. billy also loves pete but doesn’t think pete would ever love him. they both need a little push to get together.

✧˖° billy and sheila have academic discussions that nobody else understands. they respect eachother as academics and slowly become friends.

✧˖° hatred buys a shit ton of gay pride merch for the boys. it puts a dent in his savings he buys so much. they wear it to make him happy.

✧˖° rusty is the worst when he’s sick! he’s whiny and annoying but brock takes care of him anyways and takes it all in stride.

✧˖° the pirate ends up being a weird uncle to the boys. he gives them advice and drives them places when he needs them to.

✧˖° dean goes to every single one of jared’s plays or theatre things. he doesn’t miss any of his performances.

✧˖° orpheus doesn’t let al drive the car because he drives super fast and has chronic road rage. orpheus and jefferson do not want to die in a car crash!

✧˖° the monarch has given sheila a lap dance to a justin timberlake song. they never talk about that night.

✧˖° gary is a redditor

✧˖° dermott still teaches self defense classes. he also calls out bingo numbers at the senior center some nights and all the seniors love him! the old ladies pinch his cheeks and give him sweet cards and casseroles.

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p-taryn-dactyl · 2 years

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Laser Tag and Donuts (game night 2)

a/n: heyyyyy :) count this as an apology for a Soul For a Soul continuation of these two fics: Burnt Toast and Vodka + Game Night (1) this addition has more one-on-one time with our favorite Bestie: yelena warning(s): ...this sucks, my apologizes; i have never been to a laser tag place in my life - no clue what inspired me; honestly not that proud of this one...definitely rushed; all spelling/grammar errors are compliments of me finishing this around midnight

word count: 1.9k

taglist: @coolbeans32 @youralphawolf72 pairing(s): all platonic (for now); yelena x reader, kate bishop x reader, natasha romanoff x reader, bucky barnes x reader, sam wilson x reader, clint barton x reader, tony stark x reader, spiderman x reader ([name] doesn't know his identity yet)

You sighed as the hot water soothed your muscles. The steam rose around you in a swirl, probably fogging up your mirror. It was a peaceful moment, where you could relax your body and not have a worry in the worl-

"[Name] have you ever gone laser tagging?" your shower curtain was pulled back, revealing Yelena who was scrolling on her phone. You shrieked, embarrassment flooding your cheeks, "Stop screaming it's just me - now have you?"

You grabbed the curtain from Yelena, using it to cover your body, before looking at your best friend, a shocked look on your face. Yelena shrugged.

"What? You were taking too long and I want to do something fun." She said nonchalantly, showing you a website for a laser tag place. You rolled your eyes, snapping the shower curtain shut. You huffed, washing out the last of the conditioner from your hair.

"Fine!" You could practically hear Yelena's excitement. Rushing your once comfortable shower, you turned the water off and stepped out of your shower. A towel was thrust in your face, surprising you.

"Ack!" You slid around for a few moment before being able to balance yourself.

"Come on! If we want to be able to do anything today, you need to hurry up!"

You dried off and wrapped the towel around you. Yelena was practically bouncing on her heels. You raised your eyebrows at her as you washed your face.

"I didn't think you would be this excited about something like laser tag?"

"Oh come on [name]! You get to shoot people, without the problem of blood, and you don't get put on a watchlist and held in some Bulgarian prison!" You turned around, prepared to fire a million questions. Yelena looked at her nails.

"What? It happens to everyone." You were about to retort but ended up just shaking your head and laughing.

"Ok, I'll get dressed and then we can-" you walked out of your bathroom and paused, Yelena also pausing next to you. You both looked at each other before looking back at the sight in front of you.

"How the hell do you keep getting in?" You exclaimed. Sitting on your counter, cereal bowl in hand and wrapped in at least seven blankets, was the feared Winter Soldier. Bucky smiled hesitantly, shoveling cheerios into his mouth. You dragged a hand down your face before shaking your head and making your way towards your closet.

"What are you doing here?" Yelena asked, her tone a little on edge. As you were pulling on a giant sweater, tucking the front into your pants, you heard Bucky's answer.

"I'm hiding from Sam. Apparently, putting him on an inflatable mattress in the middle of a lake wasn't his favorite way of waking up." You and Yelena simultaneously scoffed humorously. As you walked out the door, you pointed your finger at the assassin.

"If anything is broken when I come back, I will sell your arm to the racoon."

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Ah yes, your favorite kind of place. Dark, with occasional bright flashing lights, people's voices echoing around, and the smell of sweat filling the air. You definitely weren't panicking. Not at all.

You and Yelena had been playing for over an hour, up against young children (having to explain to Yelena that yelling Russian curses at the seven year old was a good way to get kicked out wasn't the best time) and annoying couples alike (stop making out against the wall- actually don't. Makes you an easier target). But twenty minutes ago, you had lost your best friend in the chaos, and now you were pressing yourself against the wall. The adrenaline in your system, fueled by the anxiety filling your head, had helped you rack up a steady number on points. You heard a group of teenagers approaching and you kept your gun close to your chest - as if you were an action movie star. You somersaulted to the side and hid behind a pole, only revealing yourself to hit your targets. One by one, the teenagers groaned as their chest plates turned red. You did a little dance as you watched your nickname rise higher on the score board.

"Who's a Black Widow now?" You muttered under your breath. A hand grasped your arm, causing you to jump around and fire.

"Oops." you said sheepishly as Yelena looked down at her vest, then back up at you, then down again. You laughed as she dramatically placed her hand on her forehead and fell backwards, grasping her chest.

"So, this is what betrayal feels like," she said, faux solemnly, as she crossed her hands over her chest like you would in a coffin, "go on then. Leave me to die..alone." She gasped out the last part, letting her head fall to the side.

"You are such a drama queen. Come on, let's go, I'm hungry." You whined out. Yelena groaned.

"Oh come on, one more round?" She wiggled her eyebrows at the innuendo. You pursed your lips, desperate not to laugh.

"Yelena, you interrupted my shower, to go play laser tag, before I even had breakfast and now it's lunch time." Yelena sat up, chin high as she jokingly retorted.

"Oh come on, can't you wait a little longer? We're having fun!" You fired your gun at her vest again before turning around and walking out.

"Rude. Though this could be a fun way to die."

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"Hey do you like donuts?" Yelena asked as a hotdog was viciously devoured by you, ketchup sticking to the side of your mouth. You tried to reply, but all that came out was a bunch of gibberish. Yelena mimicked your reply with a laugh.

"Well that clears it up..thank you!" You finished your bite, wiping your mouth with a napkin before playfully glaring at your best friend.

"I do like donuts, but not the fried ones, I prefer the cake ones." Yelena raised her eyebrows, a jokingly condescending expression on her face.

"Oh and do you have a specific sprinkle color you need, oh queen of the cake donuts?" You swatted at her with your ketchup stained napkin, making Yelena flinch out of the way, almost falling out of her chair. Snorting, you took a drink of your Sprite. Yelena brushed off her jacket in a flair.

"I don't like you." she joked, sticking her tongue out.

"Ditto." you responded, causing Yelena to blow her straw trash in your face.

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When you made it back to your apartment, you were glad to see everything was still in place and not broken all over your floor. You sat down on the couch, curling into a blanket that hadn't been wrapped around Barnes. Yelena jumped to sit next to you, bouncing on the cushion and knocking both of you to the side. Laughing, you grabbed your remote, content to spend the rest of the day watching bad reality TV and Vampire Diaries reruns. Bucky walked out of your room, more blankets wrapped around him.

"Ooo what are you guys watchin'?" he asked, sitting on the floor in front of you and Yelena.

"Well, currently, a dark screen because we haven't actually turned it on yet." Yelena remarked sarcastically, swatting Bucky's head playfully. You snorted, turning the TV on. The three of you were comfortably watching a cooking show when knocking sounded. You paused the TV and got up, opening your door but confused when you saw no one there. The knocking started getting rhythmic, like someone was tapping the beat of an...AC/DC song? You slowly turned around, looking out your window. You were stuck between staying frozen or hysterically freaking out. How many Avengers knew where you lived? Hovering outside your window was Ironman, his red-and-gold armor casting a mirage of light onto your floor. Hanging off his shoulder was Spider-Man, who was frantically waving at you, like he was the one meeting his favorite hero. Tony knocked on your window again, snapping you out of your shock. You finally noticed in his hands he carried a brightly decorated box, a donut emblem flourished on the lid. You went over to your window, wondering how you were going to let them in. Yelena sighed.

"You're taking too long." She got up and...unlatched your window? You practically doubled back in shock, how did you not notice that your windows open? Gasping, you swung around, pointing at Bucky.

"Is this how you get in?" Bucky just tightened the blankets around his body and innocently looked in the other direction.

"I must say, I wasn't expecting to actually be let in through your window, I just wanted to look cool. God, that is such a safety issue. An opening floor to ceiling window in a 15th floor apartment? Wow." The unmistakable voice of Tony Stark shocked you. Yes, of course you knew Tony was Iron Man, you didn't live under a rock but, holy crap he was in your home. Tony set the donut box on your counter, his suit dissolving with the help of nano tech. Spider-Man hung from your ceiling. The Winter Soldier breaks into your apartment to snuggle your blankets. Your best friend is the sister of an Avenger and a Black Widow assassin. What was your life?

Tony was rambling about how he hoped he got the right donuts, saying he bought one of every cake flavor, but you were to busy smiling like an idiot to pay attention. You just nodded your head to his words, a goofy look on your face. When Tony noticed, he laughed under his breath, carefully placing a hand on your shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"You're Tony Stark-"

"Iron Man, yes I kno-"

"I love your hair." You whispered, snapping back to reality at Yelena's loud snort, a mortified expression taking over.

"...That was out loud wasn't it?" Tony bit his lip, holding in his laughter. After hours of phone calls from Natasha telling him how great you were, how you were the best thing to happen to her sister, and how much she saw you wanted a family like support system, Tony finally saw your hype. Of course, he never doubted Natasha, but he was glad that you weren't too good to be true. Tony grabbed a chocolate and maple treat from the box, handing it in your direction.

"Donut?" He asked, with his signature eyebrow raise. You merely nodded, took the cake, and made your way to sit down next to Yelena on the couch. You face planted into her lap, donut safely in your hand.

"Why did I say that-" you complained. Spider-Man jumped down from your ceiling, flipping to sit on the back of your couch, making you yelp as you fell off said couch. The masked hero rubbed the back of his head apologetically.

"I mean, he does have nice hair. At least you formed a sentence."

For the next ten or so minutes, you and your strange growing friend group ate donuts, laughed at cooking fails, and Tony even offered to build you a suit. Yelena protested, saying she also wanted a suit.

Your phone buzzed, a message from Kate illuminating your screen.

Kate: hey why are you having donuts without me?? and with IRONMAN? (is spider-man older or younger than me i have a bet with Clint)

You laughed, responding to Kate's text, a fondness growing in your chest. The warmth moved up to your neck as you, for some reason, tried to hide your response from the rest of the group.

Yelena noticed, though, sharing a knowing smile with the others in the room - well she didn't know if Spider-Man was smiling, mask and all.

But what she did know, was that you had a growing crush on the young archer, and being the amazing best friend she is, she planned to help you get with Kate. And possibly recruit the help of Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

a/n: ok the ending sucks im so sorry but my mind quite literally died. zero thoughts. zero. ik this addition is disappointing and i am so sorry but is the idea of Yelena getting the avengers to help her "parent trap" reader and kate on a date hilarious to anyone else?? i mean i am sleep deprived so anything is funny to me rn. i hope someone enjoyed this! good morning/afternoon/evening/night to everyone! <3

extra a/n: ik i just nose dived straight into the whole 'crushing on kate' thing but i am planning on posting drabbles and one shots of [name] and kate getting closer after the events of Burnt Toast and Vodka along with Game Night (1) so that it seems less...abrupt?? maybe send in ideas/prompts for said drabbles?? plz *insert that one emoji with the guilt trip eyes*

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