#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again #it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof #is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head #my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the #middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up #like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles. #the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable #bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to #ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on #lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life #anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been #like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i #might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it #i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt #the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective #but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch. #itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work #but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops #not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy #ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day #ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time #ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea #of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i #get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism #ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes #unrelated

[madmaryholiday]

scheduled a physical for a month from now. it was the soonest i could get an appointment that was also a) far enough away that i could ask for the day off, and b) not on a monday morning.

the second part is because i know me and i know that while i'll be dreading the appointment all week, i will also be expending a tremendous amount of mental energy to actually go through with the appointment, and i don't want to exhaust myself at the start of the work week.

had a minor wrinkle in that i couldn't schedule with the doctor i originally wanted to because of my insurance, so i had to call back after looking up the other available physicians. went with a woman who specializes in elderly care because the alternative was a woman who listed like 6 different sports as her personal interests, and i figure the lady who's used to dealing with physically infirm people might be more sympathetic to my situation.

i mean it doesn't mean she'll be NICE. plenty of practitioners are dicks regardless of what patients they regularly see. but like. i figure i have a better shot at not being immediately shut down when i say i don't think losing weight would solve all my problems with her, you know?

ugh my brain is fried and i just want to go back to bed. but it's almost lunchtime, which means it's almost medication time, so i can't sleep yet. guess i'll turn to my tried and true method of watching unboxing videos on youtube until i calm down.

#now i'm worried that work will reject the time off request because i'll be taking a day off two weeks prior #for MORE appointments #but i mean fuck it i'll deal with that later #i don't have the space in my brain to agonize over that right now #fun with medical problems #fun with chronic pain #fun with mental illness

[honkhonkrichard]

Theory: Stanley Uris was Murdered.

Tagging @vvanini I hope you can follow this okay it’s very word vomity lol

Okay So TW because this post will touch on Stan's death ad the methods behind it

I propose that Stan Uris was murdered. by IT. In his home on that fateful night. I think that Stan posed the biggest threat to IT and therefore IT felt the need to take him out before the battle even started.

Allow me to explain.

Okay, so, I need to lay out some basic "rules" or "facts" before I make my case. They are as follows.

- IT planted it's roots in Derry, and finds it difficult to leave, but still can at it’s own wil.  If you read the book (I honestly don't blame you if you haven't) You'd know that once the Losers kill IT for the final time, Derry (the Physical town) is obliterated. Buildings explode, sinkholes appear, things are flooded. The town is in ruins by the time that the Losers leave the sewers. The movies don't adapt this so If this is news to you thats fine. the bottom line is that destroying IT destroys Derry, like ripping a tree out of the ground with all it's roots. Because of this, we can make the claim that while it can Leave Derry (as it does every 27 years) it probably takes tremandous amount of power to do so, which is why IT only goes when the cycle is over. Why does this matter? Well, what if IT left Derry to get to Stan? The murders had stopped for about a week when they're all in the Jade of the Orient. Plenty of time for IT to cross from Maine to Georgia. Side Note: We KNOW IT leaevs Maine to elsewhere in the world because of King's extended universe all interconnecting. it's not far off at all to make the claim that IT is the same evil that haunts, say The Shining's Overlook Hotel, which is in Colarado.

- IT is omnipresent This is also a given, IT lives everywhere, and can fuck with time and space in godlike (or maybe eldritch like) ways. in IT: Chapter Two, when Mike claims "IT Doesn't know I know what I know" he's unfortunately wrong, because we know that IT can be in A) Multiple places at once, B) can manipulate anything on the drop of a hat (See: Stan being teleported away from everyone else in Chapter One, Everything about Neibolt, etc) and C) Knows everyone's deep fears. This is further proven by IT Saying things like "Beep Beep Richie" (although this is Horribly Horribly executed in the films, ugh.) and so on and so forth. On top of all of this, We can make the claim that IT can exist outside of Time as well, given that IT is immortal. SO, what's stopping IT from Knowing Mike was going to call them all back (Espically considering that IT TOLD Mike to do this?). Even if we keep IT's omnipresence to the location that IT inhabits (in this case Derry) IT would still have knowledge of where the losers are through Mike. And if you take the Lucky Seven/Chosen Seven route (oh my god I got theories on that too) you could argue IT knows where they are inherently due to their cosmic status.

- Stan is the "most Powerful" loser So, obviously all the Loser's are powerful, espically considering they're the ones who Defeat IT (Again going on to the Lucky/Chosen Seven theory). This next claim is going to be less focused on what the 2019/2017 Movies do because they are Bad Movies and that's a whole other rant. However, in the book, Stan is (to my knowledge feel free to correct me on any of this) the only loser to Actively ward off and 'defeat' IT on his own without running away. He uses his belief in this what is Real (birds) to ward off what is "not real" (IT). The other losers do manage to take down IT in their own Right, but Stan is ultimately the one to Really get IT. This is because Stan's character revolves around Belief and Willpower. These are, in some form or another, the ways to Defeat IT. the ritual of Chud is a battle of Wills. in the book, Bill takes IT down and Eddie does the final blow. In the Remake (ugh) the losers can defeat it Technically using the belief that IT isn't as powerful as it claims because IT's "just a clown" (Ihatethatfuckingendingsomuchugh). Stan being much more skeptical than the rest of the group in his ability to understand Reality vs IT's illusions is a powermove, and IT knows that ability doesn't go away as Stan grows up, but rather he gets more powerful. Stan is the Only loser out of the 6 who left that has any sort of knowledge about IT, where the other losers have nothing. Bev has nightmares, yes, but she still forgets them. We're told in his chapter (Chapter 3, Six Phone Calls (1985), Part One: Stanley Uris Takes a Bath) that he has some hazy knowledge of his place in the Lucky Seven, and even goes so far as to MENTION it sometimes, even if he doesn't quite remember or understand any of it, his knowledge of IT and Derry is worlds more prominent than that of the rest of the losers.

(page 52 of IT:  "Stanley, nothing's wrong with your life!"  "I don't mean from inside." he said. "From inside is fine. I'm talking about outside. Something that should be over and isn't. I wake up frmo these dreams and think, 'My whole pleasent life has been nothing but the eye of some storm I don't understand.' I'm afraid. But then it just... fades. The way dreams do." OR  page 45: He had been smiling a little. Now the smile faltered, and for a moment he seemed puzzled. His eyes had darkened, as if he looked inward, consulting some interior device which ticked and whirred correctly but which, ultimately he understood no more than the average man understands the workings of the watch on his wrist. "The turtle couldn't help us," he said suddenly. he said that quite clearly.)

So, Stan has some cosmic knowledge of IT and Maturin and his role in the battle against It. What does any of this have to do with his death? Well, let me point out some other things about Stan's death that always stuck out to me. - His death chapter is narrated by his wife, Patty, rather than himself. The other chapters - almost all the other chapters - are narrated by their respective Loser (the caviot for this is Ben, but Ben is also wasted out of his damn mind so its understandable.) - Stan's personality is few and far between in the book, but we know he has a weird little sense of humour and that he's incredibly logical. I think that this logical part of him would be able to understand that Suicide is Never Ever the answer, and that it would cause FAR more problems than it would solve. (the 2019 movie tries to reexplain his death and it's crap and i hate the letters i hate the letters so much im gonna explode) The other losers try to rationalize his death by saying "He would rather Die Clean than Live Dirty (Page 506, Chapter 10, The Reunion, part 3, 'Ben Hanscom Gets Skinny') but he had already BEEN Dirty when he defeated IT the first time, and I think he would've recognized that. - upon finding him, Patty (in her narration) notes that Stan's head is bent back over the edge of the bathtub, so from his sight she would have been upside down. If Stan DID kill himself, why would he be positioned like that? It's unnatural, like someone Posed him. - the cuts on his arms are two length wise cuts. I'm no expert but.. that's suspicious. That's weird. - IT is written in blood on the wall. Why? Why would Stan right THAT of all things? You know who DOES like to paint with blood? IT.

Alright, returning to my thesis statement, Stanley Uris was murdered. Do I think Stan genuinely was going to take a bath at 7pm (which we're told is weird for him)? Yes. I think that's absolutely a thing he could have done or planned to do. Do I think he slit his wrists and commited suicide so he wouldn't go back to Derry? No. Not even remotely.

Let me paint a New Picture.

It's May 28th, 2016, or 1985. Stanley Uris gets a call from Mike Hanlon. Stan is incredibly hesitant to go to, and says he needs time to think about it. Or tht he'll try. He can feel the starts of a Panic attack, and as he's remembering the circles of Hell he went through as a child, he tries to hold himself together. He doesn't want his darling wife to see his break, so he says "I think I'll take a bath" and nothing else before going upstairs. he hides in the bathroom. He closes and locks the door, because, well, he's panicking. Locking doors is one of The Small things he does. Is it usually the bathroom door? no, but still (OCD is a bitch, and even with medication, but this is a special case). He looks in the mirror and tries to breathe. This is fine. He can do this. They killed IT once before and they can do it again. He thinks about his younger self, the promises made, and how he could explain all of this Patty in time to catch a flight to Maine. It's terrifying, but if his friends are going to bite the dust, he wants to be there with them, wedding vows be Damned. Then he looks at his reflection again. A younger, rotted version of himself stares back at him. IT crawls through the mirror. Stan freaks out, obviously. This isn't real. This Can't be real. But IT utilizes this notion against him. It digs it's claws into his arms, and forces him to bleed out in the bathtub. IT then sets the scene nicely. Razorblades on the counter, a bloody signature on the wall, a horrible posture of Stan's neck. So on and So forth. and then IT returns to Derry. IT's a little weak, yeah, but Stan is dead. That's what matters. the Lucky Seven has now Officially broken, and the balance shifts in favour of the clown.

So that's the theory. feel free to correct me on anything or engage I have plenty of theories on this story and I like discussing this stuff :).

#anyways #Stan #stanley uris #Stan uris #mine #Murder Theory #honktheory #thats a tag now I gues ?? #pw #analysis #meta

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Reiji Dark [Prologue]

ー The scene starts in the underground waterway

Yui: ( I’m sure Reiji-san will be upset with me if I follow after him. But even so, I... )

Uu...

ー She pushes open the portal

*Creaaaak*

*THUD*

ー The scene shifts to the forest in the Demon World

Yui: ーー I’m here...

( This is the Demon World...It’s as dark as ever. Even more so right now, with the lunar eclipse still ongoing... )

( Oh no. I don’t know the way...It’s pitch-black, I can barely see a thing. )

( Which direction should I go? )

( I want to meet up with Reiji-san as soon as I can... )

*HOOOOOOWL*

Yui: ...!!

( The howling of wolves...Don’t tell me, they’re nearby? )

( Those wolves which attacked Ayato-kun... )

ー A flashback ensues

Yui: Ayato-kun!!!!

Ayato: Fuck…That hurt! The fuck’s your problem!!?

ー The wolf continues its assault

Ayato: Guh…Chichinashi, don’t you dare move from underneath me…!!

Yui: B-But…!

Ayato: Shut up…Guah…!!

*RIIIIIIP*

Ayato: …Guh…Uu…!!

ー The flashback ends

Yui: Ugh...

( Oh no...I remembered, and now my body won’t stop shaking. )

( Perhaps I made a mistake by coming here all by myself... )

*HOOOOOOWL*

Yui: ...! Again...

( Also, I feel like they’ve gotten closer than before... )

( Either way, staying here is dangerous. I should look for a place to hide. )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to inside the abandoned building

Yui: ーー There’s a house all the way out here...

( The building seems to be quite old and there doesn’t appear to be anyone living here right now... )

( Perfect. I’ll use this as my hiding spot. )

*Rustle*

Yui: ...Phew.

( I finally got to catch my breath... )

( However, I can’t stay here forever. Perhaps it isn’t too late to turn back after all... )

*Thud*

Yui: ...!!

( I heard a noise coming from outside right now...Don’t tell me, there’s someone here? )

( What should I do? Where can I hide...? )

( Ah! I can hide behind those curtains! )

ー Yui moves behind the curtains

??? 1: The noise was coming from here, right?

??? 2: Yes. I am positive.

??? 1: ...You’re right, it definitely reeks of something in here. Oi, search the room.

??? 2: Yes, sir!

Yui: ( ...Who could those guys be? Are they perhaps Vampires...? )

( Oh no. Who knows what they’ll do to me if they find me. )

( Please, don’t let them check here...! )

??? 2: ーー There doesn’t seem to be anyone around. Should we turn back?

??? 1: Hm...

Yui: ( Thank god. Seems like they’re leaving already. If I just stay hidden like this, I should be able to go unnoticed somehow... )

??? 1: ...?

??? 2: Is something the matter?

ー He opens the curtains

Yui: ...!!!

??? 1: So this is where you’ve been hiding. Hah, how naive.

*Rustle*

Yui: Ow! No, let me go...!

??? 1: A woman, huh? And a human, on top of that. Where did you come from?

Yui: F-From the human world...

??? 1: Why did you come here? Did you come with a specific reason in mind? Or perhapsーー

...Hm?

Yui: Eh...?

??? 1: What is this scent? For a human, it’s somewhat...

Oi, woman! Are you truly a human?

Yui: I am...

??? 1: Suspicious. Seems like we need to investigate you more thoroughly.

ーー Oi, take this woman to our castle.

??? 2: Roger!

Yui: No way...! Stop, please! I have somewhere I need to go immediately, so...!

??? 1: Keep quiet and follow us!

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah...!

( At this rate, I’ll get taken with them...However, I’m no match for these people... )

( No...I’m scared...Save me, Reiji-san...! )

???: May I ask what you are going to do with her?

Yui: Eh...?

Reiji-san...!!

( This is the real one, right? I didn’t think he’d actually come for me...! )

??? 1: ...! You are Karlheinz-sama’s...

Reiji: Long time no see, Zweig-sama. I suppose it must have been since the last evening party.

Yui: ( Reiji-san knows this person...? )

Reiji: By the way, would you kindly let go of the lady?

Zweig: My sincere apologies! I was unaware of the fact that she is your prey...

Reiji: No. She is my lover.

Yui: Eh...?

( He said that like it was nothing... )

( But I’m happy. He’s willing to refer to me as his lover in front of others. )

Zweig: ...I see. In that case, I should return her to you.

Reiji: Thank you very much.

Zweig: However, what was she doing here?

This is the Demon World and on top of that, the lunar eclipse is still ongoing. It is extremely dangerous for a human woman to be wandering around the woods by herself.

Reiji: You are absolutely correct. This was a blunder on my part. ...I am extremely ashamed.

Zweig: No, I was not blaming you or anything...

Well, let us move on from that. In the end, nothing happened after all.

Reiji: Once again, my sincere apologies.

Well then, we shall take our leave now. ーー We are leaving, Yui.

Yui: Y-Yes.

ー The scene shifts back to the forest

Yui: ーー I’m so sorry, Reiji-san. I caused you trouble.

Reiji: Is that all? Nothing else you should say?

Yui: Well...I acted recklessly despite my promise to remain in the human world...

Reiji: My thoughts exactly. Good grief...I was right sending a Familiar down there to check just in case.

Who knows what could have happened if I arrived just mere seconds later.

Yui: ( He’s upset... )

( Of course he is. I caused him trouble because of my own selfish acts. )

Reiji: I doubt you are aware, but those men were part of the Snake Clan, also known as Vibora.

Yui: Snake...? So they’re not Vampires?

Reiji: Yes. However, that does not make them any less dangerous. After all, they are highly territorial.

They were patrolling around the abandoned building to keep an eye on possible intruders wishing to enter their territory which lies just past that area...

If one were to set foot inside their territory, not even a fellow Demon would make it through unscathed.

You were truly playing with fire.

Yui: ( I see... )

I really am sorry...

Reiji: Haah...Well, I suppose I can let it slide. Nothing happened this time after all.

Please use this as a lesson and refrain from being so reckless in the future.

Yui: ( Huh? He only scolded me. In the past, I would have received a severe punishment... )

Reiji: What is the matter? Making such an odd expression.

Yui: Uhm, I was just thinking you’ve kind of changed.

Reiji: Why would you say that all of a sudden...?

However, if I have truly changed, then that would be...because of you.

Yui: Eh?

Reiji: Well then, let us head home.

ー He offers his hand

*Rustle*

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“Look at those flushed cheeks...Seems like my lover is quite the shy one per usual. Although that is part of what makes you so adorable.”

“You honestly are hopeless without me. I suppose I would be able to rest at ease if you were constantly connected to me like this.”

Yui: Ah...

( He grabbed hold of my hand... )

( His hand is so big...His fingers are long too, it really feels like a man’s hand. )

( I wonder why? This isn’t the first time he has touched me, but my heartbeat’s going crazy... )

Reiji: Why do you avert your gaze?

Yui: I-It’s nothing...

Reiji: I shall not allow you to keep any secrets from me. Answer me, Yui.

Yui: Well...I feel somewhat embarrassed...

Reiji: Embarrassed?

Heh. Why are you still flustered over this? We are lovers. Therefore, it is only normal for us to hold hands.

Or would you perhaps prefer another method?

Yui: Another method...?

Reiji: I will tell you if you so wish...But when I do, I assume your cheeks may turn an even brighter shade of red.

Yui: Uu...

Reiji: Fufu...You truly are a straightforward person.

Yui: ( ...I wonder if he’s teasing me? )

( However, even that makes me happy. )

( His voice is so gentle, therefore I can tell that he cares for meーー )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the entrance of the Sakamaki castle

Reiji: Well then, we have arrived.

You are dirty, so you should take a shower first.

Yui: Yes. Uhm...Is Ayato-kun alright? If possible, I’d like to see him...

Reiji: Ayato has yet to regain consciousness. There is nothing you can do even if you go see him.

Yui: I see...

( Vampires usually have a speedy recovery. Yet, he still hasn’t woken up... )

( I wonder if he’ll be okay...? )

Reiji: ...Well, would you like to go take a quick look?

Yui: Eh? I can?

Reiji: It is written all over your face that you are worried sick.

I doubt you can relax and take a shower in your current state.

Yui: Thank you very much!

ー The scene shifts to one of the bedrooms

Yui: ...

Ayato: ...

Yui: ( He really won’t even budge. ) 

( I don’t want to think this way, but it’s almost as if he’s dead... )

Reiji-san, how’s his condition...?

Reiji: The wound on his left arm is the only physical injury. It is recovering quite well, but to this day, he has not shown any signs of awakening.

He might have hit his head hard on something.

However, I am not a medical specialist, so I cannot say for sure...

Yui: I see...

Uhm, do doctors not exist here in the Demon World?

Reiji: I believe I have mentioned this in the past as well, but the profession of ‘doctor’ does not exist here.

Aah, however...

Yui: Does something come to mind?

Reiji: Yes. There is one thing.

Father’s pharmaceutical department. If we go there, they could examine Ayato’s symptoms.

Yui: Really?

Reiji: Yes.

Well then, we have been here long enough, no? Let us leave.

I doubt you can relax in those dirty clothes.

Yui: Ah, just a little longer...Ayato-kun has some sweat on his forehead, so I’d like to wipe it off.

Reiji: I shall do that.

Yui: But...

Reiji: ...You are rather dense.

Yui: Eh? What do you mean?

Reiji: You wish to remain by Ayato’s side that badly? More so than spending time with me?

Yui: Eh...?

( Don’t tell me, is Reiji-san jealous...? )

ー Reiji steps closer

Reiji: Good grief. To think you would make me go this far...I assume you are prepared to get punished?

Yui: N-No way...I was simply worried about Ayato-kun, that’s all...

Reiji: Are we talking back now? In that case, I assume those defiant lips should be first to receive a penalty.

Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: ...

Y-You can’t...Reiji-san...Ayato-kun’s right there...

Reiji: He cannot tell since he is asleep. Come on, keep still.

Nn...Haah...

Yui: ( They’re only light kisses, yet it’s making my head spin... )

( At this rate, I’ll... )

Reiji: Fufu...You look as if you are about to melt any second now. It would be troublesome if you were to collapse on me as well, so I will leave the follow-up for some other time.

ー Reiji walks away

Yui: ( Geez, Reiji-san...! )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Sakamaki Prologue ] [ Dark 01 ] ->

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #reiji sakamaki #dark fate #diabolik lovers translation #dfreijidarkprolog

[iayhifbigyakwiltbsywps]

Fuckkk I had something really long written but my connection failed and now I can’t find it but this is important if you or someone you know has adhd and takes stimulant medications like methylphenidate. This will probably be weird because I wrote the original like 12 hours ago and I just got home so if the other one magically reappears then they will be really different.

Basically I wanted to make people aware that taking stimulant medications has the potential to do more harm than good. I have adhd and have drank concerta since the third grade and im currently in 11th. I have been noticing throughout the 2019-now time period that I really have lost all motivation and that I don’t really have interest in anything even getting up to eat. And I was like ‘well that’s not alright’ and so I did what every one does: I googled it. I asked google “can adhd medications cause brain damage and lessen motivation?” And honestly I was not really expecting an answer, kinda just hoping to see blankness and be relived that it was just something random I thought. Boy was I surprised.

I actually found this:

This is literally the answer I was too scared to find because a) it proved my suspicions correct and did kinda bring a different kind of relief in knowing I’m not just hysteric and b) this hit wayyy too close to home. The part in blue feels wayyy too familiar to me because all I do Is be on my bed on my phone most of tinge time and my parants keep getting concerned and like “go get a job, find a hobby, do something!” And I am honestly strangely alright with my situation, like I hate it but I still don’t try to change it because I can’t!

Forgot what else I could of said there on the fist draft, but onto the next peice of evidence!

This pretty much said that this meds were tested on rats and that the rats ended up losing all motivation to even react when they should be looking to escape a bad situation. That once the medication stops we no longer have drive to motivation.

This also states that the nucleus accumbens is the part of the brain that forms motivation into action and when you take these meds your actually risking it shrinking and leading to no motivational drive.

Also that there are other options if you are convinced you or your child needs help to lead a successful life then there are other options that are not stimulants!

I also found some videos but could only resurfaced one which I think is the most important: https://youtu.be/nif8TFPhjuI

This video basically talks about one of the beginning trails of adhd medications that ended up being a huge success after the recorded 14 months that this trial was conducted, but what most people who do their research probably don’t dig deep enough to check that after they took the pills away they came back 3 years later to see how they faired. Turns out that the my were actually worse and the adhd was too much or something. ( sorry I’m trying to remember what I wrote but I only slept like 10 minutes last night and it’s already 1am so my eyes are shutting)

I can’t remember much right nos but if I find the other articles or videos Ik re log or something.

Here are the links to the articles:

https://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/06/09/fewer-prescriptions-for-adhd-less-drug-abuse/adhd-drugs-have-long-term-risks

https://www.leonardsax.com/stimulants.htm

There were more but I’m fighting To stay awake right now sorry.

Oh I just remembered something:

This is what happens when you give stimulants to a brain that is underdeveloped (brains aren’t yet developed until they are like 21) so if y’all need meds try taking non stimulants or else you’ll just cause growth problems for yourself

I really hope some people find this useful and that no one goes through what I am cuz it really kinda sucks and I hate it but I can’t do much to change it.

Also after hours trying to figure out a way to tell my mom I had finally told her and you know what she said? She said “if we take you of these meds will you promise to try to care about yourself more?” And like I didn’t say anything but sure mom I totally didn’t just work up the courage to try and tell you within the day I found this informants on when it would usually take me months to say things I think are important but yeah I totally need to try a bit more ugh!

Honestly I think it’s shit that I’m not even 18 yet and I already feel like all my fight has gone out of me. Like if it weren’t for my parents that actually care about me I would of let myself starve to death. And now there’s no way to thank them because I can barely move to get food much less show them my thanks. Mom dad I love you and I’m sorry my brain if fucked up.

Hi just a little edit here, I wanted to say that both articles are by the same person I just put the second one because the link didn’t work for me so I had to look for their actual page that was mentioned. But also I read further down on the second article and I saw there are more links to other related articles in the second link where this person wrote their actual research and citations

#adhd #add #attention deficit of hyperactive disorder #attention deficit hyperactivity disorder #attention deficit disorder #adhd meds #add meds #adhd medication #medications #methylphenidate #narcoleptic #narcolepsy #since they also use these stimulents. #ill tag the fandom cuz i KNOW im not the onlyone with adhd here. #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #the kings men #the raven king #tkm #trk #and more people that knoe the better. sorry this is too long! #meds are bad #actually adhd #actually add #actuallyadhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neuro divergent

[darlingpetao3]

One of Those Days (Harry Wells x Reader)

Rating: G

Summary: How many times can you be embarrassed in one day? Pop, rip, and stumble -- just another one of those days at S.T.A.R. Labs!

A/N: Luckily, in real life, I only ripped my jeans when no one was around me and it was in a place no one could see XD

Taglist: @fandomdancer​ @bluesclues-1234​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @crissymadlock @ensign-tilly

Of course this had to happen to you today.

You hadn’t noticed previously, but now, as you scramble to get ready for work, it’s pretty obvious that your blouse has shrunk a bit in the wash. Have all of your clothes shrunk? There’s no time to check -- this one will have to do. At least it covers my body, you think.

As you rush to make it to work at the Labs, you wish that you could’ve been the one to get hit with lightning amongst various chemicals. Super speed would be super appreciated right now.

Also abs.

Abs would be super appreciated, too.

You stride into the Cortex in as large and fast steps as possible right on the top of the hour.

Success!

“Aww,” Cisco whines, “I was really looking forward to teasing you about being late again today. I had a great line all locked and loaded.”

“Ha! You’ll just have to keep it to yourself,” you reply. Cisco’s teasing was starting to annoy you immensely as of recently. If you had been late today, and had to hear whatever jab the engineer had ready for you, there’s no doubt the rest of Team Flash would have to lock you in the pipeline to avoid committing a serious beat-down.

You raise your palm into the air. “Talk to the hand, Ramon. But good morning to Caitlin and Barry!” The latter two come out from the testing room.

“Hey, you’re here!” Barry exclaims but immediately seems to regret his choice of words. “I mean, ready for the workplace safety briefing?”

“Ugh,” you, Cisco, and Caitlin complain in unison. At least that’s something you can all agree upon. “I guess so, but where’s Harry?”

“I’m here.”

Speak of the devil -- Harry enters the Cortex with photocopies of the supposed safety manual you’re all meant to study.

“I took the liberty of…” he trails off. “(Y/L/N), there’s something different about you…”

“If it’s that I’m on time, yeah, we’re all amazed.”

But Harry’s eyes drop slightly. Oh hell, the shirt is that noticeably tight, isn’t-

POP.

Suddenly, the buttons on your blouse give up in their fight to keep everything closed and secure. They betray you and reveal your bra to the object of your affection.

“Ah-” is the only awkward noise Harry can make. He stares but a second longer, and in that time, his face turns the colour of a tomato before turning his whole body around.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God!” You can’t help but freak out. Instead of jumping out of your skin, you flee the Cortex, but not before shouting, “Carry on the briefing without me!”

The workday has barely started. Are you kidding me?

I guess it’s going to be one of those days, then.

***

After waiting a calculated amount of time and tracking down the stash of wearable S.T.A.R. Labs paraphernalia, you found that the team safety meeting had concluded. Everyone was back to their respective tasks, and you wandered into the medical lab to work with Caitlin. She’s the last one who would tease you.

“So, do you want to talk about what happened this morning?” Caitlin asks you without looking up.

“Oh what, you mean my horribly embarrassing mishap? I can’t believe that happened. In front of Harry no less!”           

After all, Caitlin knows about your giant crush on the scientist. You’re always confiding in her about your hopeless attraction. And you’re certain the others know about the way you feel about Harry, too, just by looking at how you react when you’re around him. The only person whom you suspect is still clueless is Harry himself.

“Yeah, talk about bad luck. He left you a copy of the manual on your desk, by the way.”

You sigh.

“If you’re going to stay in here and avoid Harry all day,” Caitlin continues, “would you mind grabbing me two beakers from the bottom shelf there?”

“Sure thing.”

You sidestep towards the cabinet Caitlin indicated, but when you crouch down, you hear the most frightening sound.

RIIIIIP.

As if every mischievous god in the universe has zoned in on you today, you realize that a huge hole has ripped in the crotch of your jeans. Dammit!! These suckers must have shrunk too!

And wouldn’t you know it, Harry enters the room at this very freaking moment. Your eyes go wide, and Caitlin witnesses your reaction. She understands what has happened and tactically throws you her own S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt which had been sitting on the back of a chair.

You catch it expertly and tie it around your waist to hide the colossal tear like your life depends on it.

Harry stops in place, brow furrowed. “What’s with…?” he starts. It must look ridiculous - a S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt on top and another identical one tied haphazardly and not in the typical fashion around your waist.

“It’s called style, Wells,” you snap. “What do you want?”

He frowns. “Copper wire. Do you have any spare-?”

A tied band of wire hurtles toward Harry, who grapples at trying to catch the equipment.

“Do I need to remind you of the workplace safety manual, section B?”

“Just go, Wells.”

The perplexed scientist grumbles to himself on his way out of the room.

“Gah, why do my clothes seem to want to destroy themselves every time we’re in the same room?” you ask Caitlin rhetorically. She offers a sympathetic laugh in response.

Later in the day, after you’ve gotten some paperwork and testing done, changed into a full-on walking S.T.A.R. Labs promotion (the joggers are quite nice), and mentally regrouped, you brave a trip to the Workshop.

“Hey,” you say to get Harry’s attention from tinkering with his new gadget. As a reflex, he stands up from his desk at your one, quiet syllable. “I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“Eh, it’s alright,” he replies, in what you perceive as a fake-gruff voice. He’s not that grumpy all the time. Sometimes you think he feigns it to keep up appearances. Harry moves a little closer in your direction but stops to lean back against his desk. “It’s not like I haven’t snapped at everyone else before. Including yourself.”

“Ha, yeah. It’s just been a weird day.”

“We all have those.”

“Yeah…”

You take a step forward, but the heel of your shoe breaks off and you topple over and into his arms.

“Whoa!”

You look up at Harry, with your face burning like a thousand suns.

“Thanks…” you say a bit breathlessly.

“Not-” he clears his throat, “not a problem.”

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“I can stand now.”

You purposefully hadn’t uttered the words, You can let go of me, because you didn’t necessarily want that. In all honesty, you could have stayed like that for much longer than the ten long seconds it really was.

“Right, sorry.”

Taking off your shoes, you’re about to make another break for it when Harry says something else.

“(Y/L/N)? You might want to have a look at section C of the manual… improper and mildly dangerous footwear.”

#reader insert #harry wells x reader #harry wells imagine #harry wells fanfiction #harrison wells x reader #harrison wells imagine #harrison wells fanfiction #earth 2 harrison wells x reader #earth 2 harrison wells imagine #the flash imagine #the flash fanfiction

[washymylifeaway]

MatsuHana fanfic recs

HI LOVES :D MatsuHana is one of my FAVORITE ships and I always love reading their fics! I’m procrastinating my other wips rn, so that do be why this is coming out rn LOL. Also that ask really made me get onto writing this, so anon thank you for sending it in LOL. There are some with VERY sensitive topics and they’re very BOLD, but I hope you all are safe while going through this list <3 (also matsuhana leans more to lots of drinking, spicy smut scenes, and teenage boy humor (like d*ck jokes and sexual innuendos) and sometimes I don’t remember to warn for that, so again CAUTION)

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

CP:

plus one by orphan_account (G) 6.1k // this fic made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside LOL. It’s also hilarious and is definitely worth a read! When will I get to share a heart shaped bed with someone :( But I really love it when they just go with the flow of things, and other people are like,,, aren’t you already dating? BUT THEY’RE LIKE UMMM NO? HSAKJSH.

rated m for by orphan_account (T) 10.7k // I love this fic it made me laugh so much throughout the whole thing! The vibes in this fic are immaculate and give me life (we love a good reunion with mystery writers), it is SO good! That’s why you should never leave/stop listening prematurely (@ iwa when he was a single dad fic). 

This gets annoying fast, Makki by Ink_stained_quills (G) 2.3k // IM IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC PLS I COULD NOT STOP CRYING TEARS OF LAUGHTER. This AU needs more fics PLEASE. It was SO freakin’ funny and the other teams KILLED ME. Like how they all approached the problem differently and how some of them (KUROO) asked for help LOL. Please this is so freaking funny go read it.

quidditch gloves, parchment, and custard cream by h_lovely (T) 12.4k // THIS IS SO GOOD, I love this fic. It really takes you through the emotions, and I love all the development in it!!!! Their relationship with one another (but only as homies right? ofc ofc), and even their families loving the other, this fic is so good! Read it even if you don’t like slow burn, you won’t even notice <3333

call me maybe by totooru (T) 33.6k // okay yea another (semi) chat fic,,, fight me. MatsuHana are just funny in general but throw some other characters (like Kuroo) into it and it turns into a comedy show. But the main point of this fic was like the near miss meetings and I think that the misunderstanding were hilarious (as much as I hate misunderstandings LOL).

Magical Mishaps and How to Deal by plumtrees (M) 10.9k // I lost this fic once and I searched for it FOR THE LONGEST TIME. But that’s cause I wanted to reread this masterpiece. IT’S SO FUNNY AND CUTE AND DOMESTIC AND UGH. Also the small angst made me SO SAD. But the ENDING? THE KISSES AHHHHHHH. (I’m yelling a lot BUT that’s cause I really love this fic <3333)

hang out fall in love by carafin (T) 8.6k // I love the Makki hates Mattsun initially but then falls for the irresistible charm he posses trope. It might be my favorite trope for MatsuHana specifically LOL. Like I really love this fic and it has MAGIC. It’s like a magical version of the VA one LOL. But like no radio shows or reunited best friends in this one :(

THESE ARE VERY ANGST!!!!!!!

boiled frogs by reginagalaxia (E) 91.5k // is it possible to hate a character this much? I never realized how much hate/rage I had in me. Really. Like. Imma boutta fight this MF LIKE SQUARE UP. The way I tried to manifest a fake characters death like,,,, Anyway. If my RAGE doesn’t explain how good of a freakin writer they are, then idk what will. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS, THERE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!

Even Though it All Went Wrong by plumtrees (T) 9.2k // THIS IS THE REASON THIS POST CAME TO BE. I love this fic with all my heart (or what’s left of it). Like LOVE as in, this fic really broke me beyond just breaking me. Like. When Oikawa says what he says to Mattsun after the thing (you’re sorry __ _____ __ ____) and the Iwa right after (we know __’__ ___ ______ to make you ____ __ ____) (if you’re wondering wtf I’m putting here, just ctrl F you’re sorry and you’ll see), you cannot believe how hard that hit. GOD. (I am okay if you’re wondering :’)) This is my #1 favorite angst fic of all time and if you are okay mentally and have read the tags and warnings and are fine with them, then please read it. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS, THERE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!

The Truth Comes Out by Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon (T) 10.2k // this made me so sad and empty after I read it. Like I just sat there being like wtf did I just read I’m sad now. Again read the tags, there is a suicide attempt but there’s also some cheating in this one. This one also ends happy. PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS, THERE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TOPICS!!!!

New:

kiyala // this writer has a LOT of fluffy MatsuHana and I really love their works! It’s just all (for the most part) really cute and there’s a lotta blurred lines and boundaries that get cleared up (they define what their relationship is but with ~love~) in their fics :) My fav? Making Sense by kiyala (T) 1.5k // it’s very cute and I am one who loves when things just fall into place :D

tookumade // this writer has some of MY FAVORITE MatsuHana fics in it and I’m kinda really sad I don’t get to ramble on about them here :( (dw I will elsewhere LOL) If I had to choose, I would say Remind Me by tookumade (T) 28.6k and Zenith, Nadir by tookumade (T) 10.7k were my absolute favorites, but I cannot choose between them so don’t make me.

plumtrees // I LOVE THIS WRITER OMG. Again, someone who has written my all time FAVORITE fics (did I mention OF ALL TIME?) and I’ve obsessively read some of them too many times :’) Because I already recommended my other faves above, Captured Light by plumtrees (T) 3.5k will be my acting favorite rn. It’s really cute and depicts some really sweet moments between MatsuHana too!

h_lovely // this writer has SO MANY GOOD FICS! I really love their series and their getting together fics are all SO GOOD UGH. I recommended my favorite teen one above, but the other ones I loved are explicit so just check out this writer in general LOL. (I REALLY love mirror flower, water moon, it’s my favorite but it’s E cause some smexy scene happen, but it’s really SO good omfg. Also the roses series IS AMAZING as well!!!!)

cream puffs and carnations; by crossbelladonna (series) 11.6k // AU SERIES!!! I love the AU’s in this series and I really liked the prompts they chose for this MatsuHana week :D My favorite from this series might’ve been there he is again by crossbelladonna (T) 1.6k cause a) I love the mattsun hc in this (for his appearance) and b) IT’S CUTE :D I definitely related to Makki and his not very subtle crushing, and also I like the IwaOi + Makki as friends trope (and then they meet Mattsun), if you couldn’t tell yet LOL.

on the anatomy of crushes by carafin (T) 2.3k // (kinda cp but not LOL) it’s very short and cute and I love it a lot LOL. I love medical AU’s (even though it’s very back burner LOL), but also, like Mattsun saves the day is the move. Like the dedication he has even going on the bus? Especially for a guy? Amazing. I could never :’)

Parallel Lines by orphan_account (T) 16.3k // IN LOVE WITH THIS FIC LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE CONSTANTLY. I hate math. Just putting that out here. And while it’s a math fic, IT? IS? SO? GOOD???? And like I love it when characters are smart, like I love intelligent characters so like this was just ajndf. (also same Mattsun, I am allergic to normal math.) 

live it up, drink it in by punybastard (T) 2.1k // GAH this one! This is a pretty iconic fic in MatsuHana hell (in my personal opinion) and if I didn’t have that two fic limit on my staple fics, this would be there. I really loved the ending of it (v cute and v well done), but also the small side stories that were inserted made it all the more entertaining :D (aka the volleyball) But they are drinking underage, so if you’re not about that BE WARNED.

it's cold out here by bishounen_curious (M) 8.6k // PLEASE I LOVE THIS FIC. YES READ YESYESYES READ. OKAY FIRST check tags and warnings, there’s a lot going on in this fic. Like don’t be stupid like them, drinking underage, and don’t do drugs not a good idea very very bad. Aside from that, I am in love with sad sad sad Makki (along with stupid IwaOi) and him being a sad drunk made me ajhkjdfs. Just read it and feel the akfnakjs with me LMFAO.

poolside by tothemoon (T) 4.1k // I’m starting this out with I LOVE the ending and I REALLY LOVE the way this confession panned out. It’s such a great concept and it made me ajhfldshf inside!!! Also, recursive endings are some of my favorites (if you couldn’t already tell LOL), and I think it really makes something so nostalgic and adds depth to a fic.

The Courage of Stars by FairyLights101 (T) 7.1k // AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC YES!!!! OKAY TW CANCER THERE’S CANCER IN THIS NO DEATH JUST PAIN and chemo (which basically is pain). Some controversy, but the angst part of me wanted him to die DONT GET ME WRONG, I’m glad he lived, but like imagine. I really love this fic, and his efforts in the bucket list were admirable :’)

we could be the greatest team by anyadisee (T) 5.7k // it’s my crack fic :D Yes, this is just Seijoh messing around, boys being boys, relationships being compared with other relationships. No pining, just me with my established relationships (and Iwa fanclubs cause those are a thing. ALWAYS).

Wet Your Whistle by darkmagicalgirl (E) 5.4k // SMUT ALERT okay but like while it’s a major plot point (lmfao I can’t believe myself), the storyline itself is good. Also, I’m all here for bartender Makki and tattoo Makki and not subtle at all Makki and basically everything Makki. I like banter and stupidity okay?

[obnoxious clucking noises] by parenthetic (renaissance) (T) 3.4k // some more crack fic for you <3333 Literally, just idiots being idiots. That’s the fic. LMFAO but seriously, I would like to participate as well,,,,, I have yet to lose a game of gay chicken cause of my lack of fear akdjaslk.

that's what you get (for waking up in vegas) by skittidyne (T) 4.2k // THIS IS SO FUNNY. I love Elvis cause he’s always officiating marriages in my fics LMFAO. But also IwaOi in this added some real nice comedy, and overall another crack fic but I really liked this one (AGAIN LMFAO).

A Bouquet of Flours by guyfierimpreg (G) 5.2k // first I want to know how they got the flour to scream, I just can’t figure it out so if anyone would like to send me pictures that’d be great. Second, they would do this bs and this is all canon. I said what I said, and I don’t take criticism. Like, matsuhana best parents proven by the magical mishaps fic (LMAO).

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic (renaissance) (M) 2.1k // okay I just wanted to say that the accuracy in the math stuff being mentioned makes me feel like this writer was in calc ab or something and that’s trauma right there. Anyways, it’s a texting fic kinda sorta getting together kinda sorta not? Idk how to explain it, but it was funny and then smut LMFOAJIAHFSJS (the derail was just like IwaOi in gay chicken, someone call the police LMFAO).

nebulas by tothemoon (T) 10.8k // I like the casualness of it. Like the confession was just so casual (smooth Mattsun) and like the progression was GOOD. Like, it’s a very poetic fic and there’s lots of thinking of deeper meaning, but its still got some comedy sprinkled throughout. I really loved the flow of it!!!!

my heart beats for contract law by orphan_account (T) 4.4k // I too would have a breakdown over school (me pretending like I haven’t already done that ahaha), but I really love so many things about this fic! Everything was just so ajsdfljdsn and I really love the 3 part plan Mattsun comes up with :DDDD (esp pt 3). Also, to propose while having an emotional breakdown at 3am in a McDonalds drive through. A mf dream.

Reflex by hiuythn (T) 2.3k // PLEASE IF THEY DIDN’T MEET AT HS THIS WOULD BE CANON ASF. You cannot tell me you don’t think this would not be cannon asf. They would meet like this. Also poor Teuchi stuck in the middle of all of this. I haven’t watched naruto, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is random emotional sexual bonding over something. That is important. (THE ENDING AJKFHKJ)

You're in Pink (and I'm in blue) by Hyeyu (T) 4.4k // whooooo Hanahaki whooo anyway, despite how it seems, I like the hanahaki trope. I don’t fully understand it sometimes (most of the time tbh), but it adds some nice angst and desperate confessions, and I do appreciate those :D Honestly, I really liked the way this fic panned out, and I felt really bad for Iwa LOL.

stranger things by tinypersonhotel (G) 10.2k // I really like this one :D:D:D I love Makki + Oikawa friendship and they’re really the best to each other :’) The ending was satisfying, and the PLOT omg. It was SO good. I feel like I say this a lot though LOL, but I’m just really into fics with good plot progression (or else I don’t read them OOPS).

something of a disaster by latenights (T) 1.4k // chaos ahahhaha. Another crack fic? I hope no one is surprised LOL. It’s just a really short and simple, cute getting together fic with a LOT of insults LOL. I love this one in particular, “Tooru’s dinner special”.

snakes, meth labs and something like love by orphan_account (G) 3.6k // THE ROOMMATE AD PLEASE. I honestly would never think Oikawa would get a snake, but that doesn’t matter LOL. This was me indulging myself in the makki IwaOi best friends and mattsun stranger agenda but it’s a great agenda okay? It’s a good fic and there’s a microwaved fish :D

Lemonade by carriecmoney (T) 4.1k // okay once again, responsible drinking and don’t drink underage bad idea smh. But MatsuHana just making out where they want? I could see that. Yeah. Anyway, as much as public make out seshes make me *gag* feel embarrassed, what made me feel more *gag* embarrassed was the fact that the girls? just? stood? there? Like why are you watching this. Is that just me? I feel like they should’ve left smh.

surprise, surprise by airblends (T) 7.6k // some more pining and dancing around the issue whoooo. As much as I hate them not getting to the point (almost as much as I hate misunderstandings), it was a great fic. This is nosebleed c*ck block (idk if I needed to censor that but I did fight me).

A God for Every Season by timkons (T) 18.4k // I love the Hades and Persephone trope! Okay, I just love mythology leave me be, but anyway I really love a lot of this fic. Like how Mattsun thinks it’s a little brighter with Makki? CUTE I LOVE. But also, the fish funeral is ridiculous but also very on brand for Oikawa. And some BokuKuroo (idk is that their ship) in here as well :DDD

The Best/Worst Places to Cry in the City by AngryKitten (T) 4.4k // literally it is the title. Just you know, looking for the best place to cry in the city,,,, I’d like to say, don’t cat call people cause we’re not about that here. Even if it worked out for them, just don’t do it :/ Also don’t follow strangers. I feel like that’s a given but jic ya know?

this isn't exactly how i thought i'd be spending my adult years by jadedpearl (NR) 7.5k // okay petty Makki is yes and so is my Makki + IwaOi agenda LOL. (I’m thriving here can’t you tell? Yes regular skype/phone calls constantly) Anyway, blackouts and sickness really be here getting people together. (I’m asking nicely, nike.) And Makki is smooth with his words. (SHORTER MEN MADE ME LAUGH)

chocolate by tellalie (T) 3.6k // the dedication in this fic was amazing. Like making a whole a cake? Someone go do that for me. (For mankind.) Fake dating is really something else, but fake dating to out gag your best friends? Seems like I need to step up my game (but no seriously, my best friends are PDA monsters I hate it here). Also practice confessions are wack.

FINALLY I MADE IT. You don’t know how many times I almost gave up on finishing LMFAO. Is this my longest list? Idk. But I just know that I would’ve finished faster if I didn’t end up rereading almost every fic on this list LMFAO. Like no seriously I almost had to make a post saying this wouldn’t be coming out cause I got distracted by one of the longer fics (I’m blaming Mirror Flower, Water Moon specifically). But I hope you enjoyed this, and once again go thank that anon for spurring me into finishing this list LMFAO (am I a horse? Yea, probably but if one thing, I’m not sturdy).

#matsuhana #matsuhana fic rec #haikyuu fanfic rec #haikyuu fic recs #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #anime #manga #hq fic rec #hq #god this was long #I love matsuhana tho #like great ship #even better fics #LOL #anyway #hopefully i finish the sunaosa one #like in a timely manner #or before some other anon calls my bs #ahahah i swear i love these ships #can you tell my commentary got worse as your kept reading #hopefully there isn't too many errors #ugh #also i can't believe that you all let me go around saying mattsuhana but it's only one t #the betrayal #smh #if there are errors #pls tell me #idk if i can get myself to reread this sht show #and yes calc ab was bolded as a warning

[crafty-light]

Rc9gn vampire au:He bites you

Okay so this happened since randy forgot to drink his dose of animal blood or the color red.He felt that he was forgetting something but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

After figuring it out randy didn’t want you to get hurt so he told you to stay away from him and you two could hang out another time.As it was risking to be hanging out while he hasn’t eaten which he was working on finding some in his room.

But being stubborn you didn’t listen to him and wanted to help him since you saw how it was affecting him.Randy was fidgety and didn’t want you to come close to him.Randy being some feet apart from you but was still in hearing and talking view.

You heard some things being knocked down and one or two crashes while walking towards his room.You gently turned the doorknob and peeked your head through the cracked door seeing the small mess randy did.

“Um randy are you still here?"You said looking around carefully stepping over some of his things.Some being things you brought to him others being from dates you had together.

You picked up a picture you took it was from your latest date with randy.It showed randy holding some roses that he picked from the garden.As you liked going to the garden behind the castle since randy grew some flowers for you after listening you about the flowers you like.It was a surprise date he did and you loved it so much seeing all the flowers you liked and smelling them.

The left corner of the picture was watery as it was touching a small puddle from a flower vase that randy accidentally broke.You frowned a bit lightly blowing on it to dry it from the water before leaving it on his bed.

“This is not enough I won’t be able to survive any longer.Nomi hasn’t come back from hunting so that will take more time ugh why did I have to forget?’’Randy said before dropping a black apple the red no longer being there.If nomi was here he would've scolded him for not drinking his dose of animal blood or not having enough things that are red to drink from.Randy shifted a bit in his hiding spot in his room that being a bookshelf that he had in his room.

Heck randy thought you wouldn’t see him anymore even worse wouldn’t want to date him anymore.As he thought you would say something along the lines of “we were just not going to work out...we’re different from each other.I’m sorry.’’

Randy heard footsteps as he turned to look who it was as that was you standing there.Also seeing all the things he destroyed during his small rampage since he bottled up his hunger for so long which resulted in that happening.

“Hey randy um so I was thinking about another way that I could help you with your problem.I know you said to me that you didn’t want me here during all of this…”you said before moving your hands around to emphasize the situation with randy and all the things in his room.Some being broken or layed on the floor his room being messy.”But I want to help in anyway I can i’ve seen how it has been affecting you.’’you spoke walking towards randy kneeling a bit down to randy as he was hiding behind a bookshelf.

“B-but what if this solution you have to my problem ends up getting you hurt?I don’t want to hurt you and then you’ll never want to see me again.”randy said looking away from you

“It won’t happen I promise okay?’’you said to him stroking his hair gently soothing him

“Okay fine...so what’s your solution to my problem?You don’t look like you’re carrying any red things or animal’s blood for that matter.’’randy said turning to look at you

“About that I was thinking I can offer you some of my blood?If not that’s okay I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”You said fiddling with your fingers since after hearing you say it you felt embarrassed for even saying something like that

“Um yes?I mean yes that’s fine just give me a tap on my shoulder when to stop since I don’t want to drink too much blood.”randy said, his fangs showing as he was leaning towards you biting into your neck.

It was a bit painful but you stayed strong for randy.After a minute went by you tapped on his shoulder as randy noticed and went away from your neck.

“Thanks for doing that y/n I mean it.Not many people would do that for a half vampire.”randy said as blood was dripping from his chin drops of it falling onto the floor.He wiped it away after you pointed it out.

“Yeah no problem I’ll just stand up and-’’you said trying to stand up before feeling weak and lightheaded falling.But luckily randy was there to catch you in his arms.

“Let’s put you to bed and rest okay.’’randy said softly kissing your forehead carrying you to his bed.As he put you to bed covering you in the softest and warmest blanket he had as you fell asleep.

While you were asleep randy cleaned up his room and since you hadn't woken up yet he wanted to do something for you.He bought a ton of your favorite snacks and drinks also randy made sure to buy some medical stuff that would help you.

They were mostly bandaids and disinfectant.He didn’t know that humans had so many different kinds of designs for bandaids.He got all of them for you since he didn’t know which you’ll like the most.

 “Hmm?Wait-why am I in bed?’’you asked yourself as you were covered in the most softest and warmest blanket which you didn’t mind but wanted answers

“Oh!You’re awake now I did a couple of things while you were asleep y/n.As you can see with my room being clean and all of your favorite things being here which I bought for you as a thank you for letting me drink your blood.”randy said as he walked towards you handing you some of the things he bought

“Randy, that's so sweet of you really.I couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend.”you said blushing a bit before looking at the snacks he brought.Opening one of them up as they were your favorite chocolate and were in different shapes.

"Yeah I know that your kind are really fragile when it comes to getting hurt.So I wanted to do this and this is only the tip of the iceberg my love."he told you

The rest of the day randy treated you like royalty.Which you didn't mind since it was nice.

Oh you want cuddles?He's there for you ready to cuddle

You want a kiss?He's there

You want more kisses?He'll be there for you for however long you want him.

You want something you'll get it whether it's something from randy or something you wanted for awhile

Maybe being bitten wasn't so bad….

#rc9gn randy #rc9gn #rc9gn randy x reader #vampire au #headcanons

[normal-thoughts-official]

Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up

#it lives spoilers #ilitw spoilers #it lives #salt #long post #drugs tw #cops tw #police brutality tw #racism tw #victim blaming tw #anti connor green #ilitw #lucas thomas #ask #identity thief anon #self harm tw

[specialmindz]

“PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS WHERE ARE YOU?”

BUBBH!           

“PAPYRUS!”

Sans poked the baby bones currently playing the bathtub. “hey uh, bro? i think dad wants you…”

“PAH-PYRUS!”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“WHAT YOU WANT STINK DADDY? I’S MAKING MOOSIC OVER HERE!”

The infant continued splashing in the tub, the bubbles floating gently through the air with each slap the water received. “UNDER DA’ SEA! UNDER DA’ SEEEA! DOWN HERE IT WETTER, DOWN HERE IT BETTER, TAKE IT FROM BAY-A-BEEEEE!”

CAP CAP CAP!

CA-THINK, WHAM!

“ugh! dad, you don’t have to slam open the door like that-”

“WHERE’S MY KEYBOARD, YOU LITTLE SHIT?”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“I don’t know what you’s talkin’ bout’. What is dis ‘key-board’ you speak of? Is a board game?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS! YOU USE IT WHEN YOU’RE USING MY COMPUTER! TELL ME WHERE IT IS THIS INSTANT!”

SPLASH!

Papyrus stopped. “Why you need it so bad? You’s a scientist, not a moosician! I’S the only one with musical talent round’ here! Listen to mah jams!”

SPLASH SPLASH!

“UNDER DA’ SEA-”

“THAT’S THE WRONG KIND OF KEYBOARD!”

“uh oh,” said Sans, studying the water. The surface of it was almost completely obscured by bubbles, but he had a good idea of what lay beneath. Papyrus normally didn’t even like bubbles, as they got in his eye sockets and made it hard to see where he was swimming, but today he actually asked for extra suds in order to create “special effects” for a “concert” he was performing.

It looked like Gaster had the same idea too, as a trademarked sigh of unmistakable misery escaped him.

Heh heh, it’s like watching a balloon slowly lose its will to live…

SPLASH SPLASH, SPLASH SPLASH!

“It’s under the water isn’t it?”

“Nyeh?”

“My keyboard. It’s underwater.”

Papyrus looked down at the water and then back up at his father. “I do bad Daddy?”

“Yes Papyrus, you’ve made a mistake...”

“I fuk up yo’ life?”

“Yes Papyrus, you’ve ‘fucked up my life,’ now give me my keyboard so I can repair it.”

“Mmm…no. No, I’s gonna fix it. I already has an idea, in fact! I can still make dis work.” Papyrus licked the water. “Yep. Daz the problem. That’s the problem right there. I got the suds, but the water not be salty enough. SNAS!”

“AHH! wh-what? what do ya’ want pap?” asked Sans, putting a hand against his skull.

“Well FIRST, I’d like you to pay attention,” said the baby. “We gots a situation over here and you’s dreaming bout’ eating Sabastian!” The infant pointed to a dead crab floating in the bath near his feet. It had CLEARLY been eaten a long time ago by someone else, probably a human seeing as Papyrus got all his stuff from the Dump, but apparently the shell was all he needed to play pretend.

“I needs you to search the Powder Place and finds the salt,” said Papyrus, now pointing at the bathroom cabinet.

The bathroom cabinet was where the family keep their cleaning supplies. Heavy-duty powder that was used to clean up serious messes regular soap couldn’t handle, pest control bottles that sprayed foul-smelling chemicals, and copious amounts of baby powder lined the floor of the cabinet. Some of the bottles and boxes were neatly arranged, but most of the supplies had been knocked over, their contents scattered everywhere due to a combination of missing lids and an unsupervised baby…at least that’s what Papyrus said.

His little brother didn’t like the Powder Place very much, and at one point he even tried to do something about it, admitting fully that he had once purposely spilled the contents of the baby powder in order to make the area smell like an infant rather than Catty’s litterbox room. It was Papyrus’s argument that cleaning supplies should never smell like fresh fruit.

“Be careful Snas, it may smell delicious in there, but erything be poison. Big people’s use it as a trick to kill off fat babies.”

“Don’t be absurd! That’s not even close to being correct.”

“Yes it is. Big people’s like their monies and a fat baby is a baby that eats alllll the time. Food costs money, so they buy poison that smell like food to get rid of the baby without legal con-see-quences.”

“That’s not true, who TOLD you that?”

“Dirt-Butt.”

“*Sigh*”

Of COURSE it was Dirt-Butt.

“Dirt-Butt” was ALWAYS saying nonsense, though it really didn’t bother Gaster as much as every other source of knowledge the infant found. He was usually relieved in fact. Papyrus was used to getting stereotypical info from the media, but the things Dirt-Butt told him more often than not, actually kept him out of trouble.

If only headaches weren’t still the norm…

 “NO DADDY, DON’T USE DA’ LECTRICAL HOLE! DIRT-BUTT SAY PICHU LIVE IN THERE!”

“…What?”

“dirt-butt told pappy that pikachus were electric mice who made their homes in electrical outlets,” explained Sans, playing a game on his phone.

“IS TOO! PIKACHU’S BABIES LIVE IN THERE! YOU’S GONNA POKE EM’ IN THE BUTT!” Papyrus covered the holes of the outlet with his hands, Determined to save his fellow infants. “Dirt-Butt says only big people can get poked in the butt, he also say-”

“Pikachus do NOT live or make their nests in electrical outlets.” Interrupted the scientist. “No one does.”

“Yes they do! Dat’s why the tricity gets used up. Pichu eat da’ power so they can gets big, is their nutrients!”  

Gaster shook his head. “No. The reason you don’t want to stick things in here is because you’ll be electrocuted. Dirt-Butt lied. You need to pay more attention to people when they’re talking Papyru-”

“You gets elly-cuted cause’ you piss off Pikachu.”

“Did you not hear me?”

“If you poke the babies, you gets zapped.”

“Papyrus.”

“I KNOWS MAH ANIMALS DADDY!”  

“SNAS, MORE SALT!”

“NO, do NOT put salt in your brother’s bathwater, it’s terrible for bones,” said Gaster reaching into the cabinet. He pulled out the salt, but was immediately met with a wet keyboard to the face.

CACK!

“PAPYRUS!”

“GIMME MAH SALT STINK DADDY! IS MINE!”

“No, it is NOT yours-”

“GIMME MY SALT OR I’S GONNA TELL UPON YOUUU!”

“You do that.”

“I WILL! I’ll tell upon you and you’s gonna get in trouble! I tells em’ you taked the salt and tried to make a baby stew…” said Papyrus smiling.

“Wh-”

“I’ll tell eryone you putted salt and carrots in mah bath and eryone will hate you. They’ll go ‘poor baby Pappy, he has such a bad wife, his daddy try to cook him for supper! We should ah-rest that bad guy and donate lossa monies to that baby’s fundraiser so their family can eats!”

“…What fundraiser?” asked the father, sensing trouble. He immediately regretted saying anything. In fact, he regretted it before the second word even came out of his mouth, but by then it was already too late.

“MY fundraiser. Baby Pappy’s Happy Nappies for Crap Bs!” Papyrus grinned and spread his arms out wide as if in celebration.

“’Crap B’s…?”

“Crap babies. Babies who not geniuses like me. Snas say, other baes not as fortunate as us, so I should be nice and share mah toys.”

“…”

“I don’t wanna do that, so instead I makes a fundraiser to get the inferior infants nappies!”

“Papyrus-”

“Nappies is diapers.”

“I know what nappies are,” said Gaster, already annoyed. Though the fundraiser’s name was enough to prove to Asgore that he wasn’t responsible for whatever came from his youngest’s latest money-making scheme, he still had to put an end to it. If he didn’t, he’d have the king’s citizens knocking at his door, and things were already getting bad in that regard.

More and more monsters had fallen ill from Hotland’s toxic fumes due to the fact that the Underground’s air filter lacked the power to operate and the more…unreasonable, individuals were getting upset. With the Lab being the closest medical building, the sick were often brought in and placed into the renovated Medical Ward. What was once mostly a living room was now a warehouse of beds, stretching almost from one end of the room to the other and lined with monsters of every variety.

Not that he was running out of room or anything.

The monsters there weren’t being cured, but rather drained of their magic to create magic crystals, a brilliant, if cold-hearted idea to be sure. This however, was necessary, though it had a severe consequence as it resulted in an increase of the Fallen; monsters who had lost too much magic and so had fallen into a comatose state. If the comatose had a chance of waking, he wouldn’t have dozens of family members banging on his door and flooding his email with questions, but sadly that wasn’t the case. Those that fell, fell to dust. There was no waking them…at least he didn’t THINK so…Gaster admittedly hadn’t bothered to experiment with that kind of thing yet.

I’m raising two children, keeping the oil reservoir under control AND a secret, trying to come up with a permanent solution to our power problem, logging the names and the number of incoming patients, making magic crystals, recording Papyrus’s progress, AND fixing HIS messes; I don’t have the TIME to meddle in monster mortality.

“uh, dad? papyrus just ran out the door giggling.”

“Wh-what?” Gaster looked about the bathroom to find that it was, indeed, missing a baby. “Why didn’t you stop him?!”

“he ran right past you, so i figured it was okay.”

“Papyrus by himself is NEVER okay, you should know that! Where did he go?” He poked his head out of the doorway and looked down the hall. A wet trail of baby tracks led into the darkness and he could just faintly hear the clacking sound of tiny bone feet getting farther and farther away.

“he said something about ‘customer satisfaction’ or…whatever. i wasn’t really paying attention-”

“GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND GO GET YOUR BROTHER!”

“*siiiiigh* FINE. PAPPY? WHERE YOU AT BABY BRO?”

“I SAID ‘GET’ NOT ‘YELL’ SANS!”

Lazy little…

“uuuughh!” Rolling his eyes, Sans shoved his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie and walked out the door. “PAPPYYYY! HEEERE PAPPY!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

Wiping off his ruined keyboard, Gaster tucked it under his arm and followed his oldest.

He already knew where the little bastard was headed.

Earlier in the week, while he was sweeping dust off the beds, he had found a little white diaper under the covers. ALL of the beds that once held the Fallen, had them in fact. It was obvious that Papyrus was putting diapers on the comatose patients, but until today, he never knew why.

“…those aren’t babies pappy,” said Sans from far off.

“Course they are! Daz why they sweep so much. Cwap babies don’t do much Snas, they just eat, sweep, and doody in their diapies. Some of them pay wit toys, but-”

“PAPYRUS GET OUT OF THE MEDICAL WARD!”

Papyrus turned his head to look down the hall, then, waving at his daddy, he turned back around.

“PAPYRUS!”

“Shoosh, stink Daddy! You wake da’ babies!” The tiny skeleton looked at the fluffy, unconscious dog-monster. “So tell us, doody-dog…how satisfied are you wit mah pro-duct? From one to a hundred?”

“…”

Papyrus lifted the dog’s head, “Eleventy-six!” exclaimed the baby bones, “I’d definitely wear another! Mah only complaint is the lack of hole for my stupid dog tail-”

“*pfft!* pap-”

“THERE SHOULDN’T BE ANY COM-PAINTS!” yelled Papyrus into the dog’s face. “DIS A FUNDRAISER, YOU BE GATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU GET, SUCK-BABY!”      

“…”

“he’s not answering you bro.”

“Cwap babies not talk much Snas, but the result be clear. They satisfied…and now I must expand mah business!” cried Papyrus, raising a finger in the air. “TO WATERFALL!”

“huh?”

Using his wingdings, Papyrus picked himself up and placed his little body atop his brother’s skull, apparently expecting Sans to take him to his destination with haste.

He didn’t.

“pap, i don’t know what EXACTLY you’re trying to do, but it’s probably not a good idea; you’re naked and dad was-”

“TO WATERFALL SNAS!!” repeated the baby, louder this time. “TIME BE MONEY, HONEY!”

“don’t call me that.”

SPL-SPLASH!

Teleporting to Waterfall, the two brothers fell into the water near the docks, Papyrus slipping from his sibling’s head almost at once.  

“NYEHHHHAAH! WHY YOU PUT US IN DA’ WATER SNAS? THE FISHIES SEE MAH BUTT!” The infant covered his rear end with a tiny hand, using the other to grab hold of Sans’ hoodie.

“then you shoulda listened to me huh?” replied Sans, CLEARLY not sorry at all. “besides, you know i can’t control exactly where i show up!”

Just the area in general…

“DON’T LOOK AT MAH BUTT CWEEP FISH!”

TAP!

A strange tapping sound drew the older boy’s attention, and Sans turned his head to see old man Gerson walking along the docks, cane in hand, while the baby batted at the curious fish.

“What’s all the commotion over here?” asked the turtle, scratching under his chin. He looked a lot more ancient when he was in full view. Sans usually only saw him in his shop, as did everyone else. It was rare to find him wandering around, as Undyne had a habit of taking it upon herself to scavenge for supplies at the Dump and present it to him to selling. Because of her, he never really HAD to leave anymore.  

TAP, SHIFF!

The old man got closer and peered down at the two in the water, holding a magnifying glass to his eye. “Wahhaha, of course, of course it’s you, Papyrus. Giving your brother trouble I see!”

Does he bring that everywhere with him?

“it-it wasn’t pappy’s fault, i made a mistake,” said Sans quietly.

“Is that so? Well you two shouldn’t be bathing in the same place we water folk get our food, might get a taste for skeletons! Wahhahaha!” He laughed again, but the little Horror wasn’t as amused.

“DON’T EAT DA’ BABY!”

“we weren’t bathing…i just…took a wrong turn or something…”

“You weren’t? Then where are your brother’s clothes?”

“CTHULHU TOOK EM’! I seens it, wit my own widdle eyes, Wrinkle-Man!” said Papyrus, splashing in the water.

“Really? Well that’s just awful! Isn’t that awful Sans?”

“please don’t encourage him.”

“They must be pretty mean to do something like that; picking on a poor little cherub like you.”

“Yep, I’s a sad cher-chero-cherrio. A very sad cheerio Wrinkle-Man, baby’s don’t gots lots of monies ya’ know? How I supposed to buy new jammies wit no monies?”

“That IS an issue,” said Gerson warily, sensing an approaching problem. He turned to Sans, but the child only glared at him, his expression giving the answer to the old man’s unsaid plea.

You started this, now YOU can deal with it.

I’m not helping you.

“Ya’ know what would make this little cheerio happy again Wrinkle-Man?”

“cherub, pappy.”

“*Sigh*…What’s that?”

“If you would accept dis diapie.” The baby bones held up a soaked diaper, possibly getting it from out of Sans’ pocket.

“oh, that’s right, i didn’t check my pockets today.” He looked down at his clothes sadly. Whatever was in there today was probably ruined now by the water.

Papyrus tended to hide things in his brother’s hoodie.

Every once in a while, the kid comedian would reach into his pocket to find crayons, candy, a kaleidoscope, bouncy balls, a yo-yo, and sometimes even makeup in his pocket. They were fun little surprises that he enjoyed, like tiny gifts. They obviously belonged to his sibling, but liked Papyrus liked to say “what’s mine is yours,” so he considered them gifts.

The big treasures were his favorite, as they were rare and akin to getting surprise packages in the mail. He’d wake up in the morning and go to the place on the floor near the dresser where he always threw his hoodie and be excited to find a big lump covered by his clothing. A sign that his brother had hidden something neat.

You’d think he’d quit hiding things with it by now. He’s gotta know I’m stealing em’…

One time, Sans even found a skateboard hidden under it. He played with it a lot, and got pretty good, but when he started doing tricks, Papyrus became…unhappy. He remembered his baby brother screaming in terror and crying when he showed him a kickflip for the first and last time. He remembered feeling super guilty about it too. He only had 1 HP after all; if he fell, it was bye-bye big bro.

The skateboard now sat in a corner collecting dust, a sad reminder of what could have been.

“I don’t need a diaper yet kiddo!” said Gerson, slightly insulted.

“Sure, you do! All old peoples need diapies and all we asks in ass-change is dat you gives us a small donation.”  

“A small donation’ hm?”

“Yep, for just thirty-twelve G, you could have this super absorbent, long-lasting diaper. Yo’ donations go to the Happy Nappies Fundraiser where we will buy MORE diapies and gives them to the less fortunate.”

“…It sounds like you’re selling diapers for 3,012g, FAR more than they’re worth. That’s thirty-twelve right? 3,012g?”

“Correct. We uses the extra monies to buy more nappies.”

“That’s not a fundraiser young’un’, you’re supposed to be raising money for charity. If you’re selling these to the babies here in the Underground-”

“I not sell to babies, I GIVE to da’ baes!”

“…But their parents pay for them.”

“Yes.”

“That’s not a fundraiser, you’re ‘hustling’ as the kids say.”

“No! I not hustle, I BUSTLE! The fundraiser be for babies, THEY gets the diapies for free, not the big peoples.”

“you’re either not understanding bro, or you’re trying to cheat people.”

Probably the latter.  

“Daz not too. I buys diapies for the peoples who needs em’ and I use the rest to buy stuffs dat I need...like my jammies. Erybody wins.”

Papyrus attempted to climb out of the water and then, realizing his arms weren’t strong enough to pull him up onto the dock, he summoned his wingdings and placed himself onto the planks.

RATTLE RATTLE RATTLE!

“ugh, pap!” Sans covered his face as his tiny and inconsiderate sibling shook his body back and forth like the dogs in Snowdin, attempting to rid himself of the water.

“Wahahaha!”

SQISH!

THAP THAP THAP!

The infant squeezed the diaper in his hands and whipped it in the air, sending beads of water every which way. He knew it would probably not be the most absorbent product he ever sold, but perhaps the old monster would still want it for catching doodies…?

“bro, that diaper’s ruined, you’re not going to be able to sell it. look, it’s torn…”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked at the nappy in his hand. It seemed fine just a minute ago, but now it was all stretched out and worse yet, the sticky parts that were meant to hold the diaper in place wouldn’t stick anymore. He tried several times to get them to, but the front kept falling open.

Sans was right.

His product was ruined.

“NYEHHHHHAAHHHH! SNAAAAAAAS!”

“*sigh*”

“MY DIAPIE BE BOKEN SNAS! NYEH-HAAAHHHH!!!”

Sans got out of the water and picked up his baby brother. “don’t cry pappy,” he said, bouncing him up and down in his arms. “it’ll be okay.” He patted him on the back, but the baby bones refused to stop crying, still clutching the diaper in his little hand.

“Oh dear…hmm…tell you what,” said Gerson, pulling a wallet out of his shirt pocket. “I’ll buy your nappy at 2,000g, since it’s damaged. A young’un’ needs a pair of clothes, right?”

“our dad didn’t sell his clothes if that’s what you’re-”

“Shu up Snas, YES PWEASE MR. WRINKLE-GUY!” yelled Papyrus, suddenly all smiles. “I WOULD VERY MUCH AH-PEA-CIATE THAT!”

“PAPYRUS!”

“WAHHAHAHAHA!” laughing loudly, the tortoise-monster gave him the money. “Looks like this old man’s been outmaneuvered in marketing! I better watch out!”

“Nyeh hee hee hee!”

“…”

“Oh, don’t look so glum, my boy. Your brother needs this practice in order to protect you in the future! He’s gonna be quite the young warrior, isn’t that right Papyrus?”

“…There will be war.”

“WAHHAHAHAHA!” Mr. Gerson laughed again and walked back towards his shop. He tended to laugh a lot when Papyrus was present, though seeing him also made the elderly monster a bit sad too.  

Sometimes I miss the old days when a lot of these little guys were around…

Maybe one day, nature will fix our past mistakes. I just hope it doesn’t need help…or that it’s not too late.

TAP, SHIFF!

TAP, SHIFF!

“…that wasn’t very nice bro.”

“The business world is a harsh one, Snas,” said Papyrus, counting his G. “You needs to pactice too big Buther. One day, you’s gonna need to help da’ baby, ya’ know? Is sad dat you has no monies of your own. Just cause’ you gots 1 hp, don’t mean you’s useless. You gots a brilliant mind, put it to good use.”

“i don’t need life advice from a crook.”

“Kay’ when you gets a life, come see da’ baby.”

“i HAVE a life, you little asshole! it’s just isn’t a life of crime.”

“No crime no dime, big Buther. Sometimes you gots to break the rules to get da’ jewels! Tell Daddy he either pay you for help, or he pay fines for child labor.”

“that’s blackmail.”

“Is genius is what it is.”

Sans chuckled and put the money in his hoodie. “why would you need my help bro? unemployed monsters down here are a dime-a-dozen!”

“…”

“all jewel need to do is lie and they’ll help you out. i don’t need to do anything, heh heh…”    

“…You needs to pactice yo’ font too.”

“fine-”

“SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM DA’ BABY!” yelled Papyrus, kicking his legs.

“i can’t leave you here, child abandonment is a crime-”

“DAZ NOT EVEN A PUN!”

“besides, crawling all the way home would be a bit labor-ious, wouldn’t it?”

“IIIII HATE CHUUUUUU!!”

CAP, CAP!

CAP, CAP!

Oh crap, someone else is coming. I need to get Pappy back in some clothes or-

“HEY! NO BATHING IN THE FOOD SUPPLY, IT’S ILLEGAL!” cried a shrill voice Sans knew all too well. Startled, he dropped his brother in surprise, but luckily the infant didn’t seem to care.

“HELLWOE FISH-LADY!” Papyrus threw up his arm in greeting. “DA’ WRINKLE-MAN JUST LEFT!” The baby pointed towards Snowdin.

“He was just here?”

“yeah, he headed back to his stall a few seconds ago,” replied Sans, glaring at his brother. “while you were…underwater. why were you underwater? this is the breeding area…”

“Right, I was talking to the fish. Gotta make sure no one’s stealing them, so everyone can keep eating-”

“Fish Lady’s growing an army to fight the homos!” said Papyrus excitedly.

“SSHH!! Shut the fuck up Papyrus!” whispered Undyne harshly.

“homosapiens baby bro, you have to say the whole thing or…you know what? just say humans, kay’?”

“Homo humans!”

“…not better. also, are you talking about actual fish, undyne or water monsters?”

“WHO CARES?” yelled the young girl. “THE MORE SOLDIERS THE BETTER!” She grinned proudly, her hands on her hips. No one would expect an attack from the water AND the land, the next war against humans was as good as won.

That is, if no adults found out about it. They didn’t appreciate Undyne’s ingenious war strategies like Papyrus did.

No matter how helpful or cool they were, adults always seemed to have a problem with her ideas, and unfortunately, Sans and Gaster were no different. For most of them to work, she needed science nerds, but they saw her plans the same way they saw Papyrus’s, terrible and “asinine.”

The Royal Scientist’s words, not hers.

She didn’t know what “asinine” meant, but it had the word “ass” in it, so she assumed their father was calling her ideas booty.

My ideas aren’t ass!

My ideas are GREAT!

Stupid, crappy, science dweeb, is just lazy. How hard can it be to build a giant robot? Isn’t there already someone asking him to do that already?

“…A giant robot can destroy entire towns, I saw it in a movie.”

“what are you talking about? are you still on about that robot army?” Sans sighed, a trademark sign of his that meant he thought she was being stupid. Undyne had heard it many times before.

“IT’S A GOOD IDEA!!” she screamed. “AND IT WASN’T AN ARMY, IT WAS JUST O-”  

“for the last time, if you saw something already done in a movie undyne, the humans know how to COUNTER it; they make the friggen’ things!”

Undyne’s so dumb…

“Yeah, but the movies are old, Sans! They’re in the Dump, because no one watches them anymore! We’ll have the element of surprise.”

“I wish to pilot a Gundam, big Buther.”

“SEE?! Papyrus wants it!” she said, pointing at the baby bones. “You want to blow up a town widdle Pappy?”

The infant smiled and bounced up and down on his rear end excitedly. “Yeah yeah yeah!” he said, ignoring his sibling’s frown. “I’s Middle Eastern ya’ know…is mah calling.”

“still don’t know what middle ease is, pap.”

“Middle East Snas! It mean I comes from da’ center of the earth…only is a liiiittle East.” The infant pinched his fingers together, squinting with one eye to make sure there was space between them, hoping he had solved the mystery.

“The center of the earth…?” Undyne looked confused. “You mean Hell?”

“i’d believe that.”

“Noooo! I’s on the WOOF of Hell…cept’ is a liiittle East.”

“Yeast…isn’t that the stuff bread is made from?”

“he’s saying east, undyne. it’s a direction.” Sans pointed towards where he knew the Lab was located.

“…That’s left, Sans-I MEAN RIGHT! That’s your right.”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE!”

“SHUT UP PAPYRUS, I WASN’T WRONG!”

“you are.”

“YOU SHUT UP TOO!!”    

“how old are you?”

“YOU CAN’T ASK ME THAT! I’M A WOMAN, IT’S ILLEGAL!”

“Is you a baby like me, Fish Lady? If so, I gots a great product for you…”

“I’m NOT a baby, I’M GROWN!” Undyne stomped her foot angrily on the planks of the pier, scaring Sans a little. He had no idea how long those timbers had been there, but he knew people walked on them every day. Eventually, they would break and need to be replaced…probably by the pines in Snowdin.

There are some people who use them for firewood too though, I know Grillby does. What if we run out? How long does it take a pine tree to grow?

…

Who planted them there to begin with?

“Nyeh? You spacing again, big Buther?”

It was something he thought of often whenever he was bored, and he highly doubted it was the monsters doing.

“Come back down from space, Snas!”

No one knew what the inside of Mt. Ebott was like, which is why everyone in the beginning not only scrambled for a home as soon as possible, but also refused to leave it behind for something better. It didn’t make sense to begin with for the monsters to carry saplings with them into a mountain with little to no sunlight. Even if the sunlamps in Snowdin had been immediately installed, it would’ve taken time. Could the trees survive that long without the sun? Why were they all pine trees to begin with? If the monsters came from different environments all over the world, wouldn’t some have brought cacti, palm trees, and other tropical plants?

It’s like someone made preparations for us to live here…

“EARTH TO THE SNAS!”

“AH!”

“Stop daydreaming and tell da’ Fish Lady how great mah fundraiser be! She doesn’t want to buy my diapies…” said Papyrus quietly.

“Why are you naked?”

“s-sorry bro, i was thinking about the trees. how come there’s only pine trees and fruit trees in the underground?”

“Nyeh?”

Why was his brother always thinking about trees?

“There’s a fern in the Resort Area,” said Undyne, hoping to change the subject. She’d rather talk about plants than diapers.

“why though? who was the guy who went ‘hey, yeah, i know i’m being ushered out of my home with little to no warning and should prooobably pack everything i think will be needed to maintain my survival-”

“But this fern doh…” The young girl laughed, imagining the scenario. “I gotta take this fern, man!”

“*pfft!* c’mon undyne, for real-”

“FERNS BEFORE FOOD! FERNS BEFORE FAMILY!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”  

“AND THESE FLOWERS, DUDE! I NEED THESE GOLDEN FLOWERS IN MY LIFE!”

Sans laughed in spite of himself as his baby brother let out a high-pitched screech of delight. As curious as he and it was, the comedian had to admit it was also pretty funny.

I guess back then, people didn’t have to worry so much about survival as they do now. They probably weren’t expecting things to be so hard down here.

It’s good that kids like us don’t have to worry about that sort of thing…most of us anyway.

Dad’s a douche, but our generation depends on him and he’s doing his best to deliver. Without him, the Underground would be doomed.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was one of the worrying kids. The future frightened him; his father frightened him.

One of the perks of being invisible, aside from whenever the Royal Scientist needed him, was that Sans could go anywhere and do anything he pleased when off the clock. He knew about the Fallen and what his father was doing before Flowey even appeared to tell him, and he was willing to bet his brother did too.

Papyrus didn’t mess with the draining machine.

Sans noticed he didn’t talk about it either. There were no questions, no threats, no mentions whatsoever. In fact, these days Papyrus seemed to mellow out a bit in general, his pranks becoming fewer and fewer in number until the labs horrendous reputation began to fade. The baby bones had even gone out to recruit other bright minds to help in the lab, no doubt sensing his father’s incoming mental collapse.

Despite how serious their power problem was, the truth remained that they HAD oil. It was dangerous to use, but it was a choice Gaster had other than draining that he didn’t favor. He CHOSE murder, their father CHOSE to drain sick monsters who came to him for help, and showed absolutely no remorse or concern for his actions.

Not good.        

“Does Onion-chan gots ferns?”

“huh?”

“It’s Onionsan, Pappy. You’re spelling it wrong, and yes, those are ferns.”

“oh, you’re still talking about ferns…who’s onionsan?” asked Sans. He didn’t know much about the monsters that lived underwater, but apparently no citizen was safe from his little bro. He hoped he hadn’t caused too much trouble…

“Onionsan-chan be a monster from Japan, man!” replied the infant, enjoying his tongue twister. “I doesn’t know how he got here dough…”

“OnionSAN, Papyrus-”

“They too big for mah diapies, so we not visit the tentacles today.”

“what?”

“Onionsan is a monster that looks like an octopus. I’ve never heard of Japan though.”

“Is where the woah-bots come from, Fish Lady! Da’ Vocaloid and the Gundams and the aira-planes…”

“airplanes aren’t robot birds baby bro,” said Sans smiling.

“Nyeh? No bird? Tsundereplane lie…?”

“huh?”

This alarmed Sans. Papyrus was behaving himself more in the lab, but that meant he was spending most of his time outside where it was dangerous.

Who’s Tsundereplane? How many people is he talking to?!

“you know what? it doesn’t matter. stop talking to strangers papyrus, it’s dang-PAPYRUS!”

BEEP BEEP!

Taking Sans’ phone out of his pocket via wingdings, Papyrus called his “friend” on speed dial.

“Hellwoe?”

“papyrus, stop!”

Who the hell gave him their number?! How long has that been in my phone?!  

“Yep, is da’ baby…”

“hang up, papyrus. whoever gave you their number isn’t a sane person-”

“Snas say you’s not a whoa-bot bird Tsundereplane. Why you lie to cute widdle me?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“WELL SCU YOU TOO, STINK ARROW-PLANE! I BEAT YO’ ASS!”  

BEEP!

“…”

“…Tsundereplane not my friend no more.”

“Aww…poor Pappy…” Undyne patted the infant’s skull.

“don’t feel sorry for him! that’s what he gets for talking to strangers, maybe next time he’ll think before putting numbers in MY phone!”

“Yep, woe is me Fish Lady…”

“are you even listening to me?”

“…First they steals mah jammies and now they lie and call me an idiot-face. I am the saddest of cheerios…”

“THEY STOLE YOUR CLOTHES?!”

“you little shit.”

“STEALING’S ILLEGAL! Don’t worry Pappy, THE UNSTOPPABLE UNDYNE WILL GET YOUR CLOTHES BACK!”

“he’s lying undyne-”

Sans reached out to stop her, but Undyne was already off towards Hotland.

Damnit!

There’s no way he’d catch her, he didn’t even know who or where Tsundereplane was.

I don’t even know what they LOOK like…an airplane probably, but…

“Nyeh hee hee hee!”

“*humph!* i bet you’re pretty proud of yourself, huh baby bro?”

“Yes.”

“you think you did the right thing?”

“Yes.”

“what do you think’s gonna happen when undyne finds out you were lying?”

“She gonna come back and do the accu-sa-tions and Imma say ‘they throw my jammies in da’ lava?’ then I’s gonna cry reeeal loud, and she gonna feel sorry for me.”

“…”

“She’ll say, ‘aww, I didn’t think of that! Poor baby Pappy…I should go out and buy you NEW jammies!’ and then I say, ‘no, no, you’s done enough.”

“…is that right?”

“Yep. I say, “Just gives me some monies and I go gets em’. Shopping be boring.’ Then she gonna go ‘you’s right! Shopping IS boring. Here are some monies…and a widdle extra for the accu-sa-tions.”

“…”

“That’s when I be reeeal nice and say ‘keep da’ extra, you deserves it for being a good friend to da’ baby.’ Then I buys candy and I eats it, then we all live happy ever after.”

“…i’m calling undyne.”

“WHY YOU GOTS TO DESTROY MY HAPPY AFTER?”

BEEP BEEP BEEP!

“I’M NOT SELLING YOU NOTHIIIIINN’!!!” screamed Papyrus, “NYEH!” Snatching his brother’s phone, the baby bones took off running towards Snowdin.

“PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS, NO!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“DO NOT GO INTO TOWN NAKED, PAPYRUS!”

Friggin’ dumbass! There’re dogs everywhere there, he can’t be showing that many bones, he’ll get eaten!

Or they would.

Probably the dogs.

Either way, Sans knew who would ultimately be blamed.

“GOOD LUCK FINDING ME IN DA’ SNOW BIG BUTHER!”

“ugh, shit!”

POOF!

With an enthusiastic smile, Papyrus leapt into a snow poff as soon as his sibling lost sight of him. There was no way Sans would find a tiny white skeleton in a snowfield. It would be like finding a needle in a haystack…whatever a haystack was.

Finally, his Michael Jackson syndrome was paying off.

“Nyeh? *sniff sniff*”

That was odd. The snow poff he was in smelled like doody. Well, actually, the whole town smelled like a barnyard, but this was especially bad…

“*huff puff* pa-papyrus…”

“…”

“papyrus, i know you’re in there, your tracks lead right to the snow poff field!”

“…Those could be anybody’s tracks, there’s no baby here, skelly-man.”

“really? heh heh, well that’s weird. most people who live in snowdin avoid the snow poffs.”

“…I had to move cause’ I missed my rent. This my home now.”

Sans laughed; his brother had no idea. “woooow, that sucks. i’d personally hate to live in a poop-igloo, but you do you man, ha ha ha!”

“What?” Papyrus poked his head out of the snow poff and looked down.

“yep. the reason the snow is built up in this area and nowhere else, is because this is where people dump their chamber pots.”

“…”

“the snow tends to build on top of the droppings and that’s what makes these little mounds, cool huh?”

“…”

“asgore is trying to get plumbing up and running, but it’ll be a while before THAT happens, what with the power issue and all. personally? i don’t see it happening. people make money gathering these snow poffs up to sell for fertilizer.”

Without saying a word, Papyrus climbed out of the snow poff and walked towards the Ruins. It was the longest route to a river, but at least it didn’t cut through town.

“papyrus?”

“Shut up.”

“aww, what’s wrong pappy? paaappyyyy-”

SPLASH!

The baby bones jumped into the river, using his wingdings to hold himself steady in order to keep from being swept away by the current.

“…”

“oh no, pappy! you can’t just hop into the river, the fishies will see your butt!”

“…”

“you know what you need to catch those doodies? what every baby needs?”

“Choke on bread.”

“a dia-”

SPLASH!  

“heh.”

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Papyrus #Sans #Baby Papyrus #Kid sans #Kid undyne #Undyne #Gaster #Undertale fanfiction #Dark Comedy

[fanficwriter013]

The Tower: Unexpected - 2

The Tower: Unexpected An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist

Previous

Pairing:  Avengers x ofc, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2354

Warnings: Y’all it’s us, if you don’t know what you’re in for. Boy, you gon cry. Angst baby angst, pregnancy, sickness/vomiting.

Synopsis: A little over 2 years after moving into the Avengers Tower, Elly finds herself pregnant against the odds.  While some are excited, others are terrified, and pregnancy that none expected to happen causes rifts through the group and threatens to end the relationship.  

Author’s Note:  Written with my wordy bitch co-captain @avengerscompound

Chapter 2: Against the Odds

It took quite a while to suspect I was pregnant.  It was after Thor had left for Asgard.  I know you’re probably thinking I’m a huge idiot for that.  You’ve been following the story.  You’ve heard about the kinds of sex I have and with the sheer volume of people I have it with.  I’ve also never mentioned a condom once.  The thing is I have Implanon in place.  The stats for that are good.  Yeah, okay, no birth control is 100% effective.  But this one is like 1/1000 women every three years.  The odds were in my favor.

I also can hear the mom in the back of my head yelling at me about how ‘condoms don’t just protect against pregnancy, Elise’.  That is true, and okay I’m not the smartest person.  I got carried away sometimes, but they are the Avengers.  I figured with the amount Natasha had stalked me, to begin with, they had something in place to make sure nothing was passed on to other people or vice versa.  I was right in the end too, so back off, mom.  Also, don’t follow my example, it gets you pregnant.

The thing I didn’t mention, was before I even came along Bruce had developed a contraceptive for the men.  He didn’t want to risk himself getting anyone pregnant and he thought it would save any problems with women outside trying to make claims against them.  I’d had a talk very early on with Sam about babies, and if they had wanted them and what would they do if say Wanda ever got accidentally knocked up.  He’d told me that the men were all on this shot they took every month, and babies weren’t really in the books for them.  That maybe later Wanda might decide she wanted to.  She was very maternal.  Right now though, none of the men in the group wanted nor felt they could handle being parents and if that changed for Wanda or if it was something I thought I wanted it might be the thing that took us out of the arrangement we had.

Ugh… fuck my life, seriously.

So I’d come to terms with that.  With my upbringing, I was never really sure if my biological call to have kids was me or the conditioning my parents had beat into me that I needed to be a wife and mother.  I knew at the time I had that conversation I wasn’t ready to, and maybe that would never change.

Then I started getting sick.  It was low-level nausea that dulled as the day progressed but it worsened every day.  I felt achy too.  Yes, in the breasts.  No one questioned it.  Double birth control, we were fine.  I was coming down with the flu or something.  I didn’t notice if I’d skipped periods or not.  My birth control made that happen anyway.

As soon as the thought passed through my head I panicked.  With Wanda here, I couldn’t risk her hearing that thought until I knew if it meant anything.  If she heard it, she’d get excited and then I wouldn’t be able to think about this rationally.  So I rushed to the closest CVS and bought some pregnancy tests and took them straight to my apartment and used them.

Every single one of them turned positive.

I didn’t know what to do.  I had been told in explicit terms they didn’t want children.  I wasn’t even sure if I wanted them.  Only looking at the tests I wasn’t having an ‘I’ve got get rid of them’ feeling.  I was worried they’d be angry with me.  That conditioning I had that I’d get in trouble for disappointing people was pretty heavily ingrained.  I was worried that I would make them feel trapped into doing something they didn’t want to do.  It was just, I could picture myself holding this baby.  I could picture them with a child.  Maybe it would have been better if Wanda had heard my thought then she could have told me what to do.

I considered calling up Jax and talking to him.  Maybe getting Clarke to just take me to a clinic and getting this over with and the others would never even have to know how close I came to ruining their lives.

Only I couldn’t do that.  They had a right to know.  To have input on this.  I imagined every single worst case scenario that you could imagine.  Bruce Hulking out and destroying the place.  Getting tossed to the street.  Having them accuse me of cheating on them.  Demanding DNA tests.  Even with all those thoughts, I told FRIDAY to call an emergency family meeting and took the elevator up to the common room with one of the positive tests in a baggie to wait for them all to arrive.

One by one they all trickled in each asking me what was wrong as I sat curled up in one of the recliners.  Each wanting to comfort me, but not knowing how when they didn’t know what I was dealing with.

Finally, Wanda came in with Sam and she looked at me and squeaked rushing over and climbing into the chair next to me and nuzzling into my side as she stroked her fingers gently over my stomach.

“Okay, so we’re all here.  What’s going on?”  Tony asked.

“So... um... I need to tell you something and I really need you to stay calm Bruce.  And also... I didn't mean for this to happen.  Okay?  I ... this wasn't something I planned.”  I said looking directly at him.  I could feel my pulse racing.  Even with Wanda’s comforting touch, all I could think was the next thing out of my mouth was going to destroy all of this.

“El, honey, we've talked about this. You can't start a sentence like that, and expect me to stay calm.”   Bruce said, stiffening up.

I shook my head feeling a very strong urge to cry.  “I don't know how else to do this, B.  It's bad either way.  At least you can brace yourself.”

“Rip the band-aid off, El,”  Tony said.

I took a deep breath in and dug in my pocket for the test and tossed it on the coffee table.  “I’m pregnant.”

Wanda squealed and squeezed me, peppering little kisses on my cheek.  The rest of the room froze and stared at me.  Some with their jaws dropped open.  Steve slowly went and picked up the test and turned it over in his hand.

“But - but - but … I, I, uh, made…”  Bruce stuttered.  He seemed to be turning green at the edges and I jumped up and rushed over to him, getting on my hands and knees in front of him and taking his hand.

“I know.  I know.  I was on it too. Look,”  I said twisting my arm so he could see the little bar implanted under my skin.  “I still am.  I don't know what happened.”

“I don't…”  Bruce said and shook his head suddenly, he was turning a darker and his muscles started shifting.

“Bruce.  Come on, you can't run from this.”  I implored, putting my head in his lap and digging my fingers into his thigh.  He started breathing heavily and I could feel the way his thigh muscles tensed and grew under me.  “Bruce.  I swear to god…”

“El, back up,”  Wanda said.

I burst into tears and scrambled back from him, tears streaming down my face as Bruce doubled over and changed, growing larger, his clothes tearing and his skin turning green.

“El,”  Nat said, “Come here.”

I moved up next to her and she wrapped me in her arms as Hulk took complete control over from Bruce.  “I’m sorry.”  I sobbed.  “I know no one wanted this.  I fucked up.”

She pulled me tightly against her and rubbed my back as I cried against her.

“Hulk, baby?”  Hulk rumbled moving closer to us.

I looked up at him through tear stained eyes.  “Hey, big guy.  Yeah.  Something like that.”

“Hulk, here.”  He said tapping his chest.

“Thank you,”  I said patting the back of his hand.  It was nice knowing I had someone else here who would support me, even if he wasn’t exactly the one that I wanted.  “I don’t know... I don’t know what to do.”

“We get ready,”  Wanda said.  “For a baby.”

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.  “Yeah?”  I said and looked around at the others.  “Is that what everyone wants?”

Hulk huffed and nodded his head.  “Hulk want baby.”

I took a deep breath.  “Okay.  I guess.  I guess I need to give the rest of you time to process.  If anyone has strong reasons why you think I shouldn’t go through with this, now is the time.  I literally have no idea about the biology factor.  I don’t know how far along I am even.  Might be timed with a Thor visit.  A week either side I think in any case.  So I’m not sure how we tell him about that.”

“I could maybe run some tests,”  Tony said.  “You'd have to take your own blood, and I'm not the biologist.”

“Okay.  So we run blood tests to find out who?  That’s what we want to do now?”  I asked.

“No,”  Steve said firmly.  “We shouldn’t know whose they are.  We’re in this together.  That is all our baby.”

“You don’t want to know?  But what if it is Thor’s and there’s some special Asgardian prenatal care I need.  What if it’s Bruce’s and it hulks out inside me.”  I said.  I was half joking and then it occurred to me what I’d just said.  “Oh god, what if it hulks out inside me?  Can a fetus hulk out?”

“I'm not even sure I'd be able to read the results to know who's it belonged to,”  Tony said.

“I can.  But I - I’m gonna need a Doctor.  Like an actual obstetrician.  I haven’t made an appointment yet because I just found out, but it can’t just be the way we do things.”  I explained.  There was a tendency in the tower for the others to rely heavily on Bruce and Sam for their medical care, even though neither were technically medical doctors.  If it was really bad they’d call in Helen Cho but they didn’t like to trust other people.  I needed to make sure Tony didn’t just try and take over as my doctor instead of actually getting one.

“I'm going to do the research,”  Tony said with a nod.  “With the potential, we need the best.”

“Okay.  But also quickly.  There’s vitamins and stuff I’m supposed to take and I have to get this out of my arm.  And I don’t know what I’m doing.” I said putting my head in my hands.  “I guess we can make it that if you don’t want to know we don’t have to test you but if you do we can.  That’s fair right?”

“I can agree to this,”  Steve said and Sam nodded with him.

“Okay,”  I said and took a shaky breath.  “And we’re all... I’m keeping it, right?  That’s what’s happening?”

Bucky looked at me with a pained expression.  “Do you not want to keep it?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t know what to do.”  I said breaking down again.  “I thought you’d all be angry at me.  Bruce is obviously angry at me.”

Hulk shook his head.  “Puny Banner scared.  Hulk here.  Hulk want baby.”  He put his hand forward.  “Hulk feel?”

“Yes.  There’s nothing to really feel yet.  But you can.”  I said leaning back against Natasha to give him room.  He gently placed his hand on me, so it wrapped around my side.  “You’ll be able to feel them when they’re bigger.”

“Them?”  Natasha asked.

“I - oh no,”  I said rubbing my head.  The idea of more than one was more I could even deal with right now.  “That was just a nongendered them but what if it’s them?”

“Twins.”  Wanda squealed.  Her excitement was nice but I was starting to feel emotionally exhausted like all I wanted to do was curl up and sleep until the baby was born.

“Let’s not... let’s just wait it’s probably just one right?”  I said.

“And you think you're how far?”  Steve asked.

“This thing messes up my cycle,”  I answered, tapping my arm where my birth control was.  “I haven’t had a period for over three months.  I started feeling sick a few weeks ago. I started actually throwing up three days ago.”

“Okay, something for a blood sample then,”  Steve said.

“Ultrasound too, I suppose.  I'm sorry.”

“Honey, no,”  Steve said.  “We should have been more careful.”

“How more careful could we have been?”  I asked.

“But…”  Sam said quietly.

“But?”  I asked.

“Bruce’s drug. There were tests.”  He said.

It felt like Sam had slapped me in the face.  Of all the people to suggest I had manipulated this somehow I didn’t expect it to be him.  “What do you think I did, Sam?  You think I sabotaged it somehow?  You think I've been going out and sleeping around on top of the 9 of you and hoping this would happen?  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that I'm apparently the most fertile person on the planet that only one escapee managed to do this.”

“No, honey. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.”  Sam said.  “I'm just trying to figure this out. Trying to process it. Which I'm sure you're doing the same.”

“Sorry.  Shouldn’t have snapped.   I know no one wanted this.” I said quietly.  I’d started feeling really sick and I didn’t want to be in here anymore.

Wanda looked over at Natasha and something seemed to pass between them.  “I wanted this.”  She said.

“So do I,”  Natasha said.  “Now come on.  Time for you to have a sleep.  They can have some time to process it.”  She said and scooped me up, carrying me into the shared bedroom.  It was quite a while before I saw many of those men again.

// NEXT

#the avengers #steve rogers #bucky barnes #tony stark #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #clint barton #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #avengers fanfic #avengers x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #tony stark x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #bruce banner x reader #clint barton x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #sam wilson x reader #stucky #clintasha #all caps #science bros #romanogers #buckynat #birds #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #avengerscompound

[boarix]

Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part XVIII

Lighthouse

Trigger warnings: canon violence/language/gun, alcohol and drug use. Mature/sexual content - not explicit  

Bloody Mess warning!

Please Enjoy!

 Marie stood in the doorway, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. After about five minutes or so, she began tapping her foot in a staccato of irritation, “Did you want something or not? I’m very busy.”

Atom’s Assassin didn’t bother to turn around, “You are massing in Crater House, yes? We had agreed to wait.”

“My followers are impatient.” Despite not having been invited, she briskly walked around the chair the ghoul was lounging in to fold her arms and glare down at them, “This is taking too long. You are taking too long.”

Infamy’s leader was toying with their favorite weapon: a combat knife with a serrated, wicked-looking blade. Flipping it around the back of their hand and thumb with remarkable speed, they locked eyes with her, “You have no followers. Those with you follow Atom. Atom rewards patience.”

“Yes, well, while you sit here and patiently wait for this church’s roof to cave in, my followers and I will take back Kingsport Lighthouse!”

“You will be annihilated.”

Anger caused her to react without thinking; swatting the knife out of the ghoul’s hand and sending it spinning to a dark corner. In the space of a heartbeat the ghoul was out of their chair and lashing out with a backhand that sent the young woman crashing to the floor.

“You will bring those Children back to this church. You will all wait.”

As the glowing one moved to retrieve the knife, their radiance illuminated the room which revealed a large number of ferals, standing perfectly still, in arcing rows around the chair. Marie hadn’t even noticed their presence and felt the whole thing to be incredibly unnerving.  

“But, what are we waiting for?!”

Turning, the ghoul went to the doorway just as an Infamy runner stepped through. There was a brief, whispered conversation before Atom’s Assassin turned back to her.

Cackling madly, they brandished their knife and spun in a circle, “They are here! Ahahaa!”  

“Who? What’s happening?!”

The mad ghoul roughly pulled Marie to her feet and shook her, “It won’t be long now; the Pretender’s doom has arrived in the Commonwealth!”

  “Did you make those pants?”

Shaun looked up from the workbench, “Yeah why, are they weird?”

“No, I like the color. Green is a good color on you. They look like they fit nice…”

He favored her with an indulgent smile, “Grandma, do you want me to make you a pair of green slacks?”

“Oh ho, not pants but slacks?” Her smile broadened when he rolled his eyes, “Yes, please make me a pair of slacks.”

“Are you coming back home after ghoul training?”

Wraith didn’t answer at first. She wanted to but since she had no idea how long learning to influence feral ghouls would take, let alone if she was even capable, she didn’t want to make promises she couldn’t keep.

She had intended the past week to be a vacation of sorts, but found herself elbow deep in reports and meetings instead. In addition to the seemingly random attacks, Infamy had taken to raising radiation levels in some of the southern settlements.

She also spent as much time as possible with Danse; helping Curie with his rehab and his occasional skips in memory. Now, with it being her last day, she was spending it with Shaun and found that she really didn’t want to leave at all.

“Oh, honey… I don’t know… There are too many variables to give you a definitive answer.”

“You’re using lawyer-general speak again,” He stuck his lip out and nodded, “I could go with you…”

“No. Absolutely not.”

His caramel complexion couldn’t hide his flush, “Why not. Is it because I couldn’t defeat Infamy? Do you think that I’ll be a burden?” He had balled up his fists, “I know I screwed that up but…”

“I don’t find you to be burdensome. You didn’t screw anything up! I need you to stay and help Mac…”

“That’s brahmin shit! That’s what YOU TELL LITTLE KIDS WHEN THEY WANT TO HELP YOU BUT YOU THINK THEY’LL BE IN THE WAY!” When Wraith didn’t cut him off and start yelling back he lost some of his momentum, “I’m sorry I let Danse and RJ get hurt!”

“You three were a team. Not one of you failed to fulfill… ugh… Okay, no more lawyer speak.” She got up from her stool, “I can’t lose you. And it’s not just you! I’m keeping Mac, Danse… I’m being completely selfish, I know… If I can keep all you strong fighters together, you will be able to keep each other safe, when I’m… gone.”

“Are you going to let the Valentines leave?” Her honesty had taken the wind out of his anger, “I’m surprised you let Grandpa John go.”

She furrowed her brow, “For the last time; I’m not a tyrant! I’m not going to hold innocent people against their will! I want them to stay and I already made my case, plus Curie wants to study Ellie’s pregnancy… wait… Grandpa John?”

Shaun’s blush deepened, “Cause you two… you know… he asked you to marry him. What the heck am I supposed to call him?!”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Are you going to start calling Mac ‘grandpa’ too?”

“No, that’s weird.”

She nodded after a couple seconds of rapid blinking, “Okay, I guess that tracks.”

MacCready opened the door and stuck his head through, “Hey guys, Danse, Curie, the Valentines and dinner are here so stop yelling at each other and come in the house.”

“Technically speaking, RJ, the workshop is still in the house.”

“Who’s ‘Dinner’, they sound nice.”

MacCready sighed and slumped his shoulders, “Hilarious. You two done?”

“Did Dinner walk here on their own?”

Shaun started giggling, “How many legs do they have?”

 Dinner was very nice and the conversation pleasant. Although space was limited the group squeezed together amicably and Valentine, a wonderful story teller, was regaling them with child-friendly versions of the behemoth and alien artifact cases.

“… climb the whole way up with me tied to her back! Of course, I told her she’d do just as well building castles in the air…”

“Mr. Colonel Garvey Minuteman has a castle! He said that grandma Wraith fought a monster there this one time and it was really big!” Duncan threw his arms out wide, knocking his cup off the table. His father neatly caught it however, and not even a drop was spilt. His excitement turned to dismay at the near loss of juice and he hung his head, “Sorry, daddy.”

MacCready tousled his hair, “Don’t be sad, Dunk. Spilt drink never hurt anybody; just work on your aim.”

“I still say I could’ve pulled us up and out with no problem.”

Valentine smiled and shook his head at her, “You are aware of a distinction between could and should.”

Wraith stuck her lip out in much the same way Shaun had, “You never know unless you try.”

“I tried cheese today!” Duncan’s confidence had returned.  

Danse grimaced, “You’re a braver man than I. The smell reminds me of the training mats in the Citadel…”

As Valentine finished his tale, with he the unfortunate ending of Imogene, Curie leaned slightly forward and her eyes tracked his mouth with a hungry intensity.

“And this alien artifact, where has it gone?”

“Well… I’m not sure, actually. I was in and out at the time.”

“It’s put away.” There was a warning edge to Wraith’s voice. “I’d have destroyed it if I could.”

“Oh, but why? Surly this item would be of great use, not only to the scientific community, but to the studies of medical…”

“No!” Wraith gentled her tone, “No, Baby Bird. It is evil and cannot be used for anything but.”

“It’s like the One Ring!” Shaun deliberately directed his comment at MacCready.

“Oh, jeez. Not you too! I’m surrounded by nerds.”

“What’s this now?”

“Oh, Danse, it’s from this great book grandpa John let me borrow. You hav’ta read it!”

MacCready smirked, “Yeah, just when you’re finally starting to feel better…”

Shaun took the snide remark rather personally and so his retort had real venom, “You’re face looks better, now that you shaved that beard!”

Danse’s eyes snapped up to lock with the sniper’s, “You grew a beard? A full beard?”

“Yeah, so what?” His shrug was meant to be nonchalant.

Danse expression was unreadable, “Nothing, just surprised.”

“You’re surprised that I grew a beard? I’ve had a goatee…”

“Surprised that you’re physically capable of growing more than those rat whiskers you normally sport.”

Normally such banter would quickly degrade into actual bickering, but after giving Danse the One Finger Salute, (making sure Duncan didn’t see) MacCready laughed and flashed a bright smile.

After dinner, the group settled in to play cards: the children, Danse and MacCready playing Go Fish while the other four grown-ups indulged in Euchre. After a couple of hands, Wraith began making a conscious effort to memorize the evening. She planned on using bright-spot memories like these to battle against future bouts of her berserker rage.

Acknowledging her addiction to Buffout was only a small step in combating her tendency to slide toward madness. She had publicly denied, on more than one occasion, that she was a tyrannical monster but didn’t want to fall into the trap of declaring yourself a savor to the people whose house you’re burning.

  “I’m sorry I scolded you, Curie.” Wraith had followed Danse and Curie out the door and across the yard. Watching Danse use a cane made her feel all the more guilty over the decision to keep the artifact’s location secret. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like you’re a kid…”

“Ah, Madame, please don’t worry about it. Forgive me for saying so, but I feel you have been treating me as your daughter since almost the first time we met.” She arched her arms out to mimic her Miss. Nanny silhouette, “Even when I was just a metal egg.”

Wraith chuckled, “Well I guess it’s reassuring to know that I have at least some maternal instinct.” She took her by the shoulders, “I know why you would want to study it. I don’t blame you but… it has a way of… pulling at you. Shaun’s analogy wasn’t that far off.”

“I… understand. I was only, so excited! Here was a thing from another world! A… a science beyond the capabilities of the one I am only barely familiar with. One with an almost unlimited capacity for healing…” She looked at the clinic door that Danse had just struggled to open, “He gets lost in his memories and he’s still, so very thin…”

“Time, Baby Bird. With you caring for him, maybe not as much as you think.”

“It was a group effort that saved mon amour. Even Monsieur MacCready, with his Beard of Solidarity…”

“His… what?”

She laughed, “Danse had told me a story of how, when a member of your unit is badly damaged, so that they cannot shave their chins, the rest of the group stops this as well. This is done regardless of the team member’s gender, of course. Those who cannot grow a beard will sometimes shave their head… the focus on hair in this instance is rather fascinating, don’t you agree?”

Wraith felt a surge of pride in MacCready, “He takes such care with his goatee. They bicker so much I had no idea that they were that close.”

“Perhaps it is like siblings, oui?”

“How did Mac find out about the hair thing?”

“He came to me and asked what he could do. For some reason telling him the story that mon ours told me made me feel a little better. And when I saw that he was honoring him this way, why, I felt… I’m not sure how to put it…” Curie’s face lit up, “Robert is a protector, and this act was very much him shielding and bolstering my resolve. Which, is what I believe, it is meant to do.”

  She could feel the heat of climax pooling below her navel even as MacCready began to shake beneath her. Bearing down as he thrust upward, the breath was driven from them both each time their hips came together.

Their lovemaking would appear a desperate, clinging act; exciting and needful as their first. Yet, it was practiced and refined with each moving in concert toward and against the other. They fought to hush their moans and gasps of pleasure, as to not disturb the sleeping household.

The realization that they might finish together heightened the anticipation of release and Wraith couldn’t stop her cry of passion at the mere thought.

Pushing himself to an almost seated position, MacCready attempted to silence both their cries by kissing her fiercely. Head swimming, he came almost as soon as he felt her muscles contract, somehow maintaining enough control to last until she finished.

Collapsing back to the bed, he kept his arms around her, holding her to him to feel that wonderful sensation of oneness that was almost better than the orgasm.

Almost.

“Shit, Wraith… That was amazing!”

“Ah ah ah, potty mouth. You’re lucky Hancock isn’t here to punish you. Not that you’d mind.”

“Not that I’d mind.”

Wraith nuzzled his chest, “I wish the three of us could be together more. Not that I mind havin’ a bedfellow at every port…”

“Every port?!” He raised his pitch in mock indignity, “Are you sleeping with jabber-jaw?”

She pushed him playfully as she rolled away, “That’s not nice!”

“Ha ha! Doesn’t change to fact that you knew who I meant!”

“I’m gonna tell Piper on you!”

After a bit of cleanup, a check on the children and MacCready settled in her arms, Wraith let her perpetual exhaustion take hold and settled into a light doze.  She entered a dream almost immediately.

The cave was dark and full of the echoes of dripping water. At first random and natural, it swiftly changed to a rhythmic percussion.

Voices. No longer was it mere water. A multitude of vaguely familiar voices, chanting her name.

“Wraith! Wraith! Wraith! WRAITH!”

Then, like smaller streams coming together to form a great river, the cries became a defining torrent.

“WRAITH! WRAITH!”

It was cold! And the voices swirled around and through her. She desperately tried to ask them what they needed but when she opened her mouth, their chant poured forth.

“WRAITH! WRAITH! WRAITH!”

Then, with a flash of light, the voices ceased. The darkness returned, this time heavy and oppressively hot. There was a sizzling noise, like a burning fuse. The outline of a figure materialized from the inky black.

“Pippa…” Deacon lifted his face; glasses gone, his eyes shone, as if from within, “Pippa please…”

“Yes! Tell me! Anything. I’ll give you anything! Please, tell me what…”

“Please…” The light from his eyes spread until his whole body glowed.

“DEACON!”

“Please, don’t; you’re killing us.”

  The following morning dawned grey and the clouds in the east were leaden with the promise of rain. Wraith didn’t want announce her departure to anyone who may be watching and so planned to use the settlements back, secret door. She had extended a tunnel she found in the basement of one of the original houses, so that it led further into the hills north of Sanctuary. Doubling as Bear’s tannery, it was rarely used by the community due to the odor and its true purpose known by only a select few. After saying her final goodbyes in the kitchen, Wraith, dressed as a male settler, left by the office door and walked briskly to the last northern house on the left.

“I still say this is crazy,” Bear’s deep, rasping baritone rolled like thunder from a dark corner, “like something from Astoundingly Awesome Stories.”

“It’s ‘Tales’, Bear. I thought you were just going to drop off my kit, whatcha need?”

“I never gave ya yer present. Catch!”

Wraith easily caught the object the large ghoul tossed to her. Turning it over in her hands, she gasped in appreciation of the artistry: using the pale hide of the albino deathclaw she had slain on her way to D.C, he had created a helmet in the likeness of her defeated foe. There were a pair of horns, beautifully intricate scales and a visor sporting a pair of faux eyes outlined in blackened steel.

“Oh, Bear! This is the coolest thing I think I’ve ever seen! It’s so light!”

“Light in weight but super heavy-duty, thanks in part to the ballistic weave. There’s some in the suit too.”

“You made a whole suit?!”

“Yeah, I wanna see you in it before you leave. I couldn’t do a final fitting cause it was a surprise, so haveta make sure it fits ya.”

It fit perfectly, of course. It came in four pieces: a vest, jacket, pants and over-the-knee boots. And it wore exactly like her modified wet suit; allowing her a range of motion as if she wore nothing at all.

“I suppose it’s fine.” Bear’s overly critical eye scanned her from toe to crown, “Ya lost weight again.”

“Tch. It’s your imagination. This is so awesome!”

“One more thing,” Not wanting to risk injury, he passed her a wrapped bundle. “I found this in the armory. It was a little bit beat up so I replaced the fittings for ya.”

When Wraith returned the stolen egg to a distraught deathclaw parent, she had found a gauntlet festooned with the sharp, blade-like claws of a deathclaw near the nest. Picking it up, she considered it a consolation prize, but had never once used it. Now, she slipped it over her hand and struck a dramatic fighting pose.

“How do I look?”

“Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. Start calling you General Deathclaw.”

“Ugh, don’t I have enough nicknames?” She embraced him carefully.

“There’s throwing knife pockets throughout, even in the boots, a belt with clips and compartments for extra storage and the jacket should fit over your shoulder holster… are you wearing it out?”

“I sure am! This is perfect; I’ve used Phil the Settler too many times anyway. And if anyone should happen to see me, they’ll probably think I’m a raider boss.”

“Well, I’m happy if yer happy, Wolf.”

 The midmorning rain beaded on the armor and rolled into the channels that Bear had strategically crafted; wicking the water away from her eyes and face. She had greatly lamented the loss of her original custom Marine helmet to the ruin of Gunner Plaza, but found that the range of peripheral vision in this new one to be far superior then even its replacement. With the horror of the previous night’s dream forgotten and delighted by the sense of freedom, she flew through the bush unimpeded by the weather and almost completely invisible to any of the Wasteland’s people or fauna.

Just as the warehouse and fence of Wicked Shipping came into view, she felt an odd prickling sensation and instinctively dodged to her left.

A trio of feral ghouls rose from the underbrush.

“Well, Zen time’s cancelled.” She crouched slightly and waited for them to rush her.

“Not to worry, General,” The echoing and otherworldly voice belonged to a glowing one. Dressed in the humble robes of the Children of Atom, he beckoned to her from the shop roof, “come along inside, sister. They surely will not harm their friend.”

Harkness yawned and waved at her by way of greeting. He was sitting in an office chair with his feet up on the desk of one of the former Flynn brothers. “Those are some fancy duds there, General Dragon-Lady.”

She removed the helm and wrinkled her nose at him, “Nice. You two just get here?”

“Nope.” Groaning, he stood, stretched and removed a pot of steaming water from a hotplate, “We headed out from Goodneighbor as soon as I got back. Sun called ferals to him the entire way; it was pretty surreal.” He waved a mug at her, “Tea?”

“Actually, yes, thanks.” She accepted the mug and idly played with the steeper. “You said he called to them?”

“Not very many and not out loud. He says that when you’re done, he will lead them to the Glowing Sea.”

“Like a Pied Piper, huh?”

“I actually think I know that reference.”

“As do I. And I approve.”

Sun of Atom swept into the room with a floating grace that left Wraith green with envy. Almost immediately the prickling sensation returned and she outwardly flinched away from the ghoul.

“Apologies, Mother’s Chosen One; I’ll turn down my intensity.” He smiled warmly at her, “It is extremely gratifying to learn that you are so receptive. Perhaps this training will go swiftly and we each can return to our chosen paths.”

She forced a smile of her own, “I’ll bank on your optimism, but please refrain from using that title,” The forced grin had started to make her cheek twitch, “if you must be formal, please call me General Wraith. Although, I’d prefer you refer to me as…”

“Wraith the Undying?” Harkness had a stole-the-last-cookie grin, “Or maybe, Death in the Shadow?”

Determined not to let him nettle her, she continued as if he hadn’t spoke, “as Wraith. Just ‘Wraith’ is perfect. How may I call you?”

“You may use ‘brother’ or ‘Sun’ as you are comfortable, sister Wraith.” He accepted a mug from Harkness, “Will you be leaving us, brother? I know you are resistant to rads, but it may yet be too dangerous for you to stay.”

“Oh no. I’m not going anywhere. I haven’t finished fixing the fencing and besides I’m going to stay and make sure things don’t get out of hand.”

The ghoul laughed, “I am well practiced, and I can assure you that no harm will come to your friend.”

He leveled a stern gaze at Wraith, “I’m not worried about you harming anyone, Sunny.”

She wanted to argue, but considering their past encounter, felt she couldn’t blame him. Her guilt must have made a clear mark on her face because Harkness’s softened almost immediately and he brought a hand up and rubbed the back of his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m really tired and it’s made me a grouch. Are you two going to start right away? I kind of wanted to watch.”

“I’m afraid there won’t be much to see until the fence is done. I’m holding them here for now but as soon as I let go they’ll either attack or wander off.”

“What about the glowing one in the warehouse?”

“She’s pushed me away every time I’ve asked her. She is very strong and I may be unable to hold her.”

“Was she here already?”

Harkness frowned and shook his head at her, “She came yesterday; just sort of appeared in the yard outside. We left the warehouse doors open and she went in by herself.”

“I believe she heard me and was curious. And now I am feeling that she’s waiting for something.”

Harkness washed his face with his hands, “That sounds really ominous.” Letting his hands fall to his sides, he shook his head to crack his neck, “I guess I’ll go finish up the fence.”

“It’s still raining…”

“The wet fence, then.”

Wraith frowned at his back, “How many ferals are out there?”

Sun crouched over a pack in the corner and began rummaging through it, “I managed to call twelve on the way here…”

“And Our Lady of Perpetual Radiance makes thirteen.” Harkness’s shoulders sagged as he stepped out into the drizzle.

“Lucky thirteen.”

Having found what he was looking for, the ghoul waved Wraith over to him, “We can use this to sit on…” He spread a woven, padded mat on the floor, not unlike a picnic blanket, “no sense in being uncomfortable, any more than we have to.” In one fluid movement, he descended to a seated, cross-legged position and motion for her to sit across from him.

Wraith set her jacket over the back of the chair and removed her boots before joining him. “It’s been a while since I’ve meditated. Over two hundred years, in fact.”

Probably something that would have helped me. I could teach Shaun and we could make mats!

“I think that you will find this to be a very similar practice.” He looked into her eyes, his omnipresent smile warm and disarming, “Why don’t we start with your overall impression of feral ghouls. What was your first reaction?”

She frowned, “Unfortunately the first ferals I came across were some of my neighbors from before… Ms. Rosa and… and her son. They rushed me and… well… I honestly didn’t know it was them until after. Her dress… I recognized her dress.”

“I’m sure, at the time, you had no alternative.”

“I didn’t understand what they were at first. And now; as much as folks think they’re mindless… sometimes I can see a glimmer… when they pick up a teddy or even a pencil, and put it in their pocket,” She lifted her hand and closing it, made a fist around an imagined object, “I can see the flash of memory, of a time when they were people, and not monsters.”

Sun’s smile faltered but he held up his hands when, assuming she had offended him, Wraith attempted to apologize.

“It is alright, sister. I myself am no longer human and because of my glow, am considered to be a monster, even amongst non-feral ghouls. But, having witnessed horrific calamities that those still yet named human have done; I count myself instead as, not a monster, but closer to Atom. And there is a domain that I happily occupy, no matter what others deem me as.”

“If you and Infamy are closer to Atom and doing his bidding, then I say you are well within the realm of monsterhood.”

His smile went out like a candle, “I cannot abide Infamy’s tactics. Their use of ferals as fodder is unforgivable! I would rather see them mercifully slain than used as soulless killing machines.” He steepled his fingers, “When Brother Harkness came to me for help and described who you were, I took it as a sign. I came without hesitation because I knew that it was His will.”

“I can admire your conviction to your beliefs, but they aren’t mine. I’m having a real hard time with this whole plan. I question the idea of assuming the identity of a religious figure. No matter what good I might do, it’s still a lie.”

“I’m not here to convert you. But, I know that you are part of Atom’s plan.” His smile had returned, “Ask me anything. I embrace questioning my faith. After all, what credibility would it maintain if it couldn’t stand up to scrutiny?”

She narrowed her eyes, “Give me one truth.” She leaned away and folded her arms, “Let’s start there.”

“I too have traveled to the Sacred Spring, drank from its waters, seen visions provided by the Mother. Among some that were terrifying I was struck by a singular image,” He abruptly stood up and went to his pack. “I made a sketch as soon as I was able to hold a pencil.” He handed her a piece of paper as he sat down, “The Mother spoke to me; she named them ‘Harbinger’.”

The crude drawing was of an upright, humanoid deathclaw.

“The Mother showed me you.”

“Hmm. That… does look a little like my armor.” She wrestled with the fact that she had just received her gift that morning and no one apart from Bear had seen her in it.

“I left the Capital Ruins because Harkness is a good, trustworthy friend. I had a suspicion of your significance but wasn’t sure until I saw you today. You and the Harbinger are one and the same. I came here to help him, but it has been revealed that I am meant to help you!”

“Okay, Sun. I will agree that you came here with good intentions. And whether or not that,” She tapped the drawing gently, “is me, shall remain to be seen.”

“It is a place to start.” He returned his sketch to his pack and returned himself to the mat. “When you are ready, I’m going to reach out to you, and I want you to describe how it feels.”

Telling herself not to flinch, Wraith closed her eyes and nodded, “A little like a static charge; doesn’t hurt but it feels a little… zappy.”

“Do you feel any impressions? See any images?”

“Nope.”

“Very well. This time I want you to try and push back. I want you to imagine a wall or shield, blocking the zappy feeling. It may help you to think of it as an attack. Find where it is hitting you, and try to stop it.”

For several minutes the two sat across from each other, quietly waging war.

“We should stop for now.”

“Oh, thank god. I have to pee so bad…”

Sun tilted back his head and laughed, “Is that what it is? Your attention was very strong up until about fifteen minutes ago, ha!”

“You mean I’m actually doing something?”

“Certainly. Your light is very bright, even at rest. It is no wonder you’ve been able to ask them for help without any training.”

“My light?” She shifted her weight, uncomfortable but stubborn in her excitement for knowledge.

He laughed again, “Go to the latrine!”

On her way back, she spotted Harkness. At that moment he happened to pull his arms up over his head, stretching and yawning, affording her an opportunity to size him up and watch him move in the light of day.

He really is a big one. At least as big as Danse… he moves a little lighter though…

“You know, General Death in the Shadow, most people would get pretty excited, having someone as important as you, eye them up and down like that.”

“And what? You’re not most people?”

Jeez! He irks my very soul!

“I don’t see wanton eyes filled with lustful assessment. It’s not flattering; it’s scary.” He came to stand directly in front of her. Almost toe to toe, “I see you deciding how best to kill me.” He folded his large arms and glared down at her, “How did you put it? Ah, yes; ‘rip me in half’.”

“Ouch.” Reminding herself that he came a very long way to help and that she did in fact threaten to kill him, Wraith tried hard to be peaceable, “I truly apologize for both my actions and demeanor when we first met.”

He tilted his head to the side and squinted, “That’s it?”

“I’m sure that I would find ripping you in half to be… at least half again as difficult as I may have suggested.”

Letting his arms fall to his sides, his blue eyes widened before he erupted in bombastic laughter. Shaking his head, he patted her none-to-gently on the bicep, “Harley’s right; you are the scariest person ever!”

He had no idea how much those words hurt her.

“Yeah, that’s me; the Commonwealth Monster.”

“Tell Sunny I’m just about done with the fence. I’ll come in and make food when I’m finished.”

Noting the grim line of Wraith’s mouth, Sun turned up his glow and literally gave her his brightest smile, “Harkness is a moody sort of person. He fusses at me a great deal as well.”

“It’s not all on him. I just wish… nope… We need to focus on the ‘here and now’.” She forced a smile of her own, “Tell me about lights.”

“The lights of the soul,” He settled back to the mat, “you may see them in your mind. You’ll call out to them, guide them and push them.”

“So, when you’re pushing at me, my light is where you… aim?”

“If that analogy helps you, then yes.”

“So if I can see your light, can I talk to you? Make you do stuff?” A horrible thought had crept through her mind, “Even if you don’t want to?”

“Ah, yes. This brings us to something very important. Wraith, you must always be the brightest light.” He set his hands together and briefly touched their tips to his scarred lips, “Most sentient beings carry a light inside them and most of those are strong enough to withstand any attempts at manipulation. It is possible to be overwhelmed however, so think of yourself as a lighthouse. Your radiance is a strong beacon of hope and you gather the smaller lights to you. You offer them peace, direction, safety and tranquility.” Separating his hands he waved them in a gesture of dismissal, “You do not ever go to them. Don’t follow the lights!”

“I’m sorry, but why? I know that they aren’t just…”

“Infamy and I are not the only Children who have herded feral ghouls.” Sun’s eyes filled with pain and sorrow, “Some of the other parishioners started to call us The Necromancers.” His smile was sad, “I’ll admit, I thought it was very cool and along with our friends, I began to act like… well, rather high and mighty. Some of us, rather than simply move ferals to more convenient and safe locations, started aiming our small collections at wastelanders who might have offered us some slight.” Now his eyes filled with guilt, “It went too far, of course. People died; people who didn’t deserve that level of admonishment.”

“So, the Necromancers became infamous… then Infamy?”

“Yes. At this point I was still a member, but I was having problems reconciling the deaths… and I wasn’t the only one.” He leaned toward her, “There was a power struggle within the group; those who wanted to return to The Necromancers and those who chose Infamy. Each faction had a leader and when the two faced off, Atom’s Assassin came out on top. Multiple ferals were used in their attack, and once their opponent was lost in a sea of overwhelming lights, Infamy took hold of what little of their mind was left and bent them to their will.”

Brow furrowed, Wraith stuck out her lip, “Wait… and you… you all think I’ll somehow be able to…”

Leaning back, Sun waved his hands dismissively, “Oh, no. This isn’t a coup d’état; it should be sufficient for you to simply demonstrate your ability to herd fearls. We are seeking to establish credibility to the claim that you are Chosen and therefore not a pretender as Marie has claimed.”

Suddenly overwhelmed, Wraith surged to her feet and bolted for the door. At that moment Harkness was heading inside to prepare a meal and so the two nearly collided. Near tears, she muttered an apology as she ducked under his arm and twisted away.

She didn’t get very far. Just past the remains of the semi-trucks were the three feral ghouls she had seen that morning. She stopped and crouched, instinctively preparing for battle. They all but ignored her, continuing to pick unknown detritus from the grass and putting it their mouths. As she watched them she patted herself down, stopping when she realized what she was searching for.

“Need a cigarette?” Harkness, seeming to appear from midair, leaned against a truck cab and offered her a pack.

“No, thanks. I’m after something a little stronger.”

“Oh, yeah. Buffout, right?”

“Christ! Does everybody know?!”

Pushing himself away from the vehicle, he folded his arms and gave her a pitying smile, “Hancock didn’t tell me, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Let me guess…”

“No, it wasn’t Harley either.” He watched as the ferals shuffled away toward the warehouse, “I figured it out on my own. When we met you acted so out of character from what I was expecting that I knew something had to be off. That and the ability to lift me off the ground with one hand…”

“It’s been getting steadily worse; every time I got scared, or even nervous, I’d pop a Buffout ‘just in case’.” It was easier to watch the ferals then meet his eye, “I’d take one and I’d calm down because then I was strong enough to handle what was coming. The times that I’ve lost control… I didn’t take it because I wanted to… no matter who they are or what they’ve done the people I’ve killed are, well, people. When I go berserk there is a good chance I won’t remember the little details of the murders I’m committing. Curie has warned me that it was all psychosomatic; I thought I was controlling myself with the chem when it was actually all in my head.”

“Let’s fight.”

“I don’t wanna fight with both myself and you.”

“No, I mean spar.” He widened his stance, bent his knees slightly and raised his fists, “Harley says you used martial arts to help Cait overcome her lingering cravings. Maybe it’ll help you too.”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually.”

Plus, I might get to sock you one - guilt free.

They spent the next few moments testing each other with quick jabs and minor kicks. Nothing connected as they each skillfully deflected the others probing attacks. Wraith found herself thoroughly enjoying the exchange and let herself relax and focus on the movements of her opponent.

He’s really quick! He may have Danse’s frame but he moves like Deacon. I wish the two of us could’ve done some exercises like this. Although, if it was anything like sparing with Hancock then other things would have… No, he never thought of me that way… What a thing to think about now!

Sensing her distraction and hoping to capitalize, Harley stepped in close and aimed a knee at her midsection. Dropping her hips to guard, she wrapped her arms around his torso and hefted him into the air while swinging him slightly forward. On the backswing she used his body’s momentum to pop him up and over her back and slam him to the ground.

“OOOFFFHA!” Utterly defeated he made the time-out signal with his hands and attempted to gain air into his lungs.

“Ooo! Gotcha good that time.” She hoped her smile wasn’t too obvious, “You let me know when you’re ready for round two.”

Wheezing, the large man took her offered hand and let her pull him to his feet, “No thanks! I don’t want to wrestle anymore today.”

She held on to his hand, “Thanks for this, really. I was freaking out and… you made me feel better.”

Laughing ruefully he placed his other hand atop hers and gave it a pat, “I’m glad you tossing me around made one of us feel better.”

Sun had come to look for Wraith and was confused by the juxtaposition of fighting and laughter, “Are the two of you… well?”

“She’s better and I’m going inside to cook because my ego and I need to prove that there is something I’m capable of being successful at.”

“The… fence looks… complete…”

“Thank you, Sunny. I can always count on you to be mildly complementary.” He lifted a cautionary finger, “Don’t let go of the ferals just yet, I want to make another circuit before you do.”

As the three of them headed back to the office, Wraith felt the now familiar sensation of a mental intrusion. Sun, who was slightly ahead of her, felt it as well and he stopped and turned toward the warehouse. The three feral ghouls had stopped feeding and were standing perfectly still; staring intently at the building that contained the feral glowing one.

“She’s calling us… she… ah, she’s lost interest.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to keep her in there? If she’s that powerful…”

“Not to worry, sister Wraith. I am quite proficient in my craft. Even if I cannot move her as I like; I’m confident I can keep her in a state of peacefulness.”

Wraith’s tone was grim, “And if that fails, I am confident in my proficiency of my craft.”

  After they ate, (Sun more out of polite interest than necessity) Harkness asked the other two to clean while he made a final check of the fence, “I’m going to circumambulate one last time before you take off their mental leashes. It would be less than polite to let them wander off into someone’s tato plot.”

Wraith and Sun spent the remainder of the day cross-legged on the mat, quietly sparing until the sun made the western hills its grave.

Exhausted from the training, Wraith fell asleep almost as soon as she lay down for the night.

She was back in the cave.

“I have to find the source!”

The dripping water proved directionless; echoing through her ears and reverberating from the rough, pitted walls. She spun in a circle: searching, searching, searching… Drawn to the faint light cast by glowing fungus she moved as though floating. A faint flicker at the corner of her vision caused her to flinch and spin away.

“Pippa, you need to stop.”

Deacon phased in and out of focus, as if he was using a glitching Stealth-Boy, and no matter how she twisted and turned, she couldn’t see him but from the corner of her eye.

“Please stop or we’ll die.”

His voice came from directly behind her. She spun around; putting her back to the mushrooms to see him fully. His tear-streaked face was a pallid green from their illumination.  

“Stop what?!” She tried to go to him but could no longer move, “Stop how?!”

As before his eyes began to glow, brighter and brighter it spread until his whole body shone. It created a strobe-like effect when combined with his flickering in and out of sight. Then, ever so slowly, he raised a hand. Clutched in his fist was a single glowing fungus and he offered it to her as if it were a rose.

“This one is yours.”

  Wraith’s next three days followed a pattern: breakfast, meditative combat, lunch, meditative combat, sparing with Harkness, dinner, meditative combat then bedroll. Thankful that the cave dream didn’t manifest again, she got some much-needed sleep each night.

On the fourth day she had a breakthrough.

“HA!” Her forceful shout corresponded to a particularly successful mental push. The result of which knocked Atom’s Sun over and made Harkness jump out of his chair.

“What?! What’s happening?!”

Scooping the ghoul from the floor, Wraith spun them round, “Eeeeeeeee! That was awesome!”

“Please!” The glowing one somehow managed to look even more green, “I’m about to be sick!”

“I take this to mean that progress has been made.”

“Yes, very much so.” Grateful to have his feet touching the floor, he wobbled slightly but was smiling, “Congratulations, sister Wraith. Now we will work on refin…”

As if in response to their celebration, there came an incredible psionic pulse from the warehouse’s glowing resident. It was so powerful in fact, that Harkness turned along with the other two to stare toward the building next door.

“Whoa!” Wraith’s voice was hushed in awe, “Radiance just threw down the gauntlet.” She pointed toward the ceiling, “Let’s go check up on her.”

On one of her previous ghoul-problem checks, Wraith had created a makeshift bridge between the roofs of the two main buildings. Once the trio crossed over they quietly moved around the catwalk until they could see the feral glowing one.  

And what a sight she was: bathed in light of her own making, Our Lady of Perpetual Radiance stood perfectly upright with her arms slightly raised and palms facing her hips. Sensing them, she turned and took several elegant steps in their direction. Her poise and grace called to mind an expert ballerina. Further, rather than the normal growths, welts and malformed lumps caused by ghoulification, she was adorned in glowing funguses of varying pastel hues. There was a large concentration trailing up her spine to encircle her scalp which made it look as if she had been crowned by luminescent jewels.

“She’s a queen.” Breathless, Wraith couldn’t take her eyes off her.

Tilting her chin slightly downward, Radiance gave the other woman an intensely scrutinizing look while sending out another powerful mental challenge.

“She’s here… for me…”

“Wraith!” Harkness stepped between them, “Hey! Snap out of it.”

“Sister Wraith, we should return…”

Nodding wordlessly she followed behind them in a haze.

 The next 3 days passed with much the same routine. The difference being that after her sparing with Harkness, Sun would take her to the warehouse roof where they would alternate trying to connect with Radiance and the other feral ghouls.

This made Harkness very nervous and he made several comments to that effect. When asked “why” he couldn’t properly articulate his forbearance, “It’s dangerous. The other ferals… that is what you came here to learn but her… I don’t know. We didn’t bring her, she brought herself.”

  On the ninth day, Wraith awoke with a start and leaped to her feet. She could hear voices, raised in anger, coming from outside. One of them was Marie’s. Quickly donning her new armor, she slipped out a window while activating a Stealth-Boy.

Once outside, the early dawn light shown over a grim scene: the bodies of several ghouls, both feral and clad in Infamy’s darkened Children’s robes, lay across the grass in between two of the semi-truck trailers. A few living members ringed a kneeling, and obviously injured Harkness while Marie held Sun of Atom at gunpoint. A glowing one, whom Wraith presumed to be Atom’s Assassin, sat on the top of one of the trailers, letting their feet swing in and out of the opening.

Marie’s voice was shrill, “How could you?! How dare you kill your own people?!”

“Tch. Don’t waste words on that foolish, old Necromancer.” Infamy’s leader had their dagger out and was playing with it in a way that was clearly meant to be menacing. Pitching forward, they did a perfect flip and landed lightly on their feet. Purposely bypassing Marie and her hostage, they held their blade under Harness’s chin, forcing his eyes up slightly to meet their own, “Where is the Pretender, hmm? Where is Death in the Shadow?”

“She’s no pretender, Infamy. I promise you; Wraith’s the real deal.”

Infamy was intrigued.

“Don’t listen to this… blasphemous lout! He himself aided Morningstar in infiltrating the Apostles of the Holy Light by acting as a member! He is no less an enemy than she is!”

Marie had taken to waving her pipe pistol around as if it was a visual aid. Distracted by her wrath, she was easily disarmed by Sun who, in turn, put her in a headlock with the muzzle at her temple.

“Oh! Unhand me you… bastard!”

Infamy was amused.

“Hear us out. Please, my… please.”

Arching a hairless brow, Atom’s Assassin sheathed their weapon and folded their arms, “I’m all ears. Oh, hahaha; that’s funny cause I haven’t any! Ha ha heeee!” They gave Sun a dismissive wave, “By all means, kill that obnoxious psychotic. Ha! We only need one in our party and I am more than sufficient! Hahaha!”

Instead, Sun released her and backed away with his hands in the air, “She’s barely more than a child.” He directed his emphatic smile at her, “You have your whole life in front of you. You can be anyone and do anything. You can stop this right now; by telling the truth!”  

She spit in his face.

Wraith flinched. She was unwilling to act because she couldn’t figure an attack pattern that would guarantee the survival of her friends. At war with herself, her patient side was winning, but the berserker would not be silent.

In a gesture of good faith, Sun returned the pistol to Marie. Raising his hands he turned back to Infamy’s leader. “Wraith is by no means a false profit. In fact she makes no claims of prophecy herself. High Confessor Tektus proclaimed her Chosen because she, being granted the Mother of the Fog’s holy Icon, aided in the preservation of our sect in Far Harbor.” He placed his palms together as in prayer and brought his hands to the ruin of his nose. “I too have made the pilgrimage to the Sacred Spring. Atom has not yet granted me the clarity to fully understand the visions I received, but ultimately, I believe Wraith to be our friend and ally.”

“Lies!” Marie returned to waving her weapon, “She is the destroyer of Crater House! She has slain countless of our brothers and sisters! She is no friend; she is a heartless killer!”

Infamy fixed her with a withering glare, “Be quiet for now or I will silence you forever.” They set a finger to their lips and shushed her. Then bringing the digit away from their face they shook it back and forth in the air, “Ah ah ahhh, Sunny boy. I myself have heard the settlers speak of their leader as a ‘master over ghouls’ and they call her ‘priestess of Atom’ awayyyy up north. If she didn’t start this herself, as you claim, then she certainly didn’t stop it, as I know.” They put their hands on their hips and leaned toward their fellow glowing one, “Infamy doesn’t care much for those to garner fame at Atom’s expense!”

“She is no self-proclaimed priestess, and is prepared to denounce this publicly over Radio Freedom.” Sun smile was sly, “As for her ghoul mastery; we are prepared to give you a demonstration of her abilities… as a Necromancer.”

Marie, in an attempt to hybridize scoffing and laughter, ended up chocking and coughing instead.

Infamy was confused.

“How? Unless my mother was right and I’ve finally gone blind, she is no glowing one; feral or otherwise.” They folded their arms and turned to where Wraith was hiding, “Please, by all means, show me your power.”

Wraith deactivated her Stealth-Boy and walked out to them with her hands in the air, “I’d say you’re far from blind.”  

Marie hissed.

“I don’t know how you put up with her.” She gave Harkness a searching look, “How bad are you?”

“I’m fixing to live.”

Atom’s Assassin closed the distance between them remarkably quickly, “Take off your helmet, if you would, General. I’d very much like to see your eyes as we speak.”

Wraith refused to flinch away from the heat as the ghoul placed their face less than an inch from her own. She couldn’t prevent the involuntary gasp of air however, and was once again amazed that a being capable of generating that much heat and light would do so with a complete lack of body odor.

“You’re defiant of Marie’s claim that you are a heretic of the Church of Atom? That these rumors of your prestige are in fact, the propaganda of others and not of your making or design? Do you have the ability to call and control feral ghouls? Did you lay waste to the settlement of Crater House and slay the Holy Guardian at Kingsport Lighthouse?”

The rapid-fire questions put Wraith back on her heels, “Yes.” She lifted her chin defiantly, “I didn’t know that Kingsport was a claimed site. Outside of the… guardian, there wasn’t anyone there when I scouted it for a settlement. I destroyed the war camp at Crater House due to repeated attacks of the established Minutemen settlement, and only after my attempts at diplomacy…”

“I care not for your reasons.” They leaned away and waved Sun over to them, “What exactly did you see on your pilgrimage?”

“A figure with a remarkable resemblance to General Wraith, named as ‘Harbinger’. I know not of what she proceeds.”

“All Atom’s knowledge is granted to the patiently devout.”

The now familiar sensation of a glowing one’s summoning buzzed in Wraith’s mind. Shortly, a quartet of feral ghouls shambled their way over to stand in a row in front of the group.

“Now, I shall release them…”

“Wait! She is but a novice…”

Infamy’s eyes blazed at the interruption, “Atom will protect her, if that is his will. That being said; you have five minutes or I’ll kill you all.” They clapped their hands, “Isn’t this fun?! Wheeeee!”  

Marie snorted.

“You can do this, Wraith.” In pain, Harkness’s voice was strained and horse.

Almost immediately the ferals rushed her. This fostered suspicion that they had been ordered to attack rather than simply “let go”. She stayed ahead of them; happy to move them away from her friends.

During her training she had found that tapping into her berserker side had actually helped her when connecting to the ghouls.

Two sides of the same coin, it seems.

Donning her helmet and relaxing her mental self-restraint, she sent out a tentative greeting to her pursuers. As soon as she saw their lights she knew that these were reavers. Atom’s Assassin had deliberately chosen some of the most powerful of his arsenal to test her. Little did Infamy’s leader know that she had been practicing with a feral of Radiance’s caliber.

Come to think of it; why hasn’t she been throwing challenges at Infamy? Maybe I just piss her off…

As she wooed the ferals she felt what could only be an attack from Infamy. Distracted, she stumbled and was hit hard on the side of the head by one of the feral ghouls. Thankful for her armor, she spun away from the reaver unhurt.

Infamy’s attack made her angry, but she channeled it into an attack of her own and broke through to two of her assailants. These immediately rounded on their allies and pinned them to the ground.

Infamy was shocked.

“Well… well...” They snapped their fingers and the guards surrounding Harkness immediately broke away and retreated through the hole the group had cut in the fence. “It seems as though Atom has seen fit to grant you special abilities. We will be returning to the Capital Wasteland now. Once there, I shall meditate long and hard on this Holy Lesson…”

“You CANNOT BE FUCKING SERIOUS!” Spittle flew from Marie’s mouth as she shrieked, “YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD DESTROY HER! SHE IS A MONSTER! I WILL NOT LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS…”

She shot Atom’s Sun, point blank, in the temple.

Infamy, Harkness and Wraith all ran to them but Wraith, already lost in her berserker’s rage, reached them first.

She ripped Marie in half.

At that exact moment the garage door of the warehouse burst open in a white-green blast of radiation. Surrounded in a nimbus of prismatic light, Our Lady of Perpetual Radiance seemed to float across the grass as she came to Wraith’s side. The two of them together was an image out of the darkest of nightmares: Wraith in her blood and intestine draped deathclaw armor and the apparent queen of all radioactive monsters.

The others could only stand back and watch as Radiance reached forward and grabbed Wraith’s head in her scorched and twisted fingers. She pulled her forward until their foreheads met, then spun away toward the south east. Not even slowing down when she met the fence; she simply melted her way through and continued on at a swift pace. All the remaining feral ghouls followed her through.

And Wraith followed with them.    

  Thank you so much for reading! Like what you’ve read? Looking for more? Please see my master link post in my tags under Wraith in the Ruins. As always, my ask is open for questions/comment/concerns. More to come! =^..^=

#wraith in the ruins #fallout 4 companions #fallout fan fiction #fallout fanfic #fallout companions #rj maccready #maccready #nick valentine #fallout 3 harkness #fallout curie #danse

[blookmallow]

alright here we go its trial time babey 

----

WHY DO YOU HAVE BLOOD 

why is an autopsy cruel.... its essentially a medical examination. she’s a nurse. she’s the most qualified to do this 

i fuckign love gundam so MUCH

i still love this. party boy hinata 

GOSH I WONDER!!! WHO COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!!! WHO WAS IN THIS BUILDING ALL DAY. ALONE. AND COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE THIS. I JUST HAVE NO IDEA

oh

i cannot BELIEVE hinata doesn’t see a problem with komaeda’s “ugh, HAJIME, it’s JUST a blood stain, it’s probably not even IMPORTANT just LEAVE IT” attitude here 

i love how needlessly fucking weird everything in this game is

I FORGOT ABOUT MONOMI JUST. HANGING THERE 

theres this new thing where your bullets become Swords and you have to Strike Down The Opponent’s Argument and its so dramatic and chaotic im laughing

i think im starting to get it but im not sure im a fan 

i fuckign hate teruteru what are you even TALKING ABOUT 

right around here i realized the reason komaeda’s voice was throwing me off so much, its the same voice actor as naegi. and i looked it up, they’re the same in the japanese version too so its probably intentional, but i either never realized this before or forgot about it 

and hearing this in japanese before like... you get the tone but not the actual Words if you don’t speak japanese, the translated text is there but. something about hearing the words (that I can understand, I only know a lil tiny bit of japanese) being spoken in Almost Naegi’s Voice But Wrong is fucking me up SO much

which is probably the effect it had on japanese speakers hearing it in japanese originally. the english VA is doing a really good job of reading these lines as fucking unsettling....ly as possible and i hate it so much. he talks so... slowly, like he’s drawing out and savoring every word, so it takes as long as fucking possible to get through his lines and it just gets increasingly more and more uncomfortable. it sounds like fuckign. mastermind AU naegi or something. its..... it sure is something 

GOD FUCKING FUCK

real talk why did they feel it was necessary to replay this audio sequence like 87 times 

oh god they made hangman’s gambit SO MUCH WORSE FUCK THIS 

jfkdsgh why does teruteru point this out this is DIRECTLY PLACING YOU AS THE MOST LIKELY SUSPECT 

oh my god shut the FUCK U P 

i love making my poor protagonists say stupid shit “WHO COULD HAVE DONE THIS” “IT COULD ONLY HAVE BEEN...... ME!!!!!!” “wait. no” 

also what the fuck happened with teruteru’s accent here i think they were going for like. “he’s actually a country bumpkin after all” but it’s this ridiculously exaggerated fake ass cajun accent, while later on when we get the flashback with his mom she sounds just normal southern, so like.....  What Even

it sounds SO BAD and its bizarre to me because like. i was also gonna comment on how good his voice sounds ordinarily his voice actor does a really good job and its like. this clash of “wow i love this voice and i hate this character so much” but then it gets to the accent slip and its just a MESS 

i mean i guess its supposed to be funny but it sounds less like “holy shit he was doing a fake voice the whole time” and more like “he’s just absolutely losing his mind” 

like in dr1 celestia’s voice sounded Off the whole time and then when she slips you can tell it’s her real/natural voice at the end and its like “OH. THATS WHY”

and it doesnt help that it. took me a while to realize he was doing a cajun accent in the first place i thought for a second it was like...... a really racist “”black guy voice”” or something 

anyway its REAL BAD 

i forgot “teruteru Could Not Have Been There because hes a nasty pervert and would ABSOLUTELY have remembered this” ended up being his downfall LMAO

how does tsumiki even keep landing like that. is she doing it on purpose

i mean considering this exact same thing happened before when he Was there to witness it would it really have been that hard to just bluff it like “mm yeah of course i remember B)” 

then again i guess its possible they could’ve been leading him into a trap and expecting him to say that and then they could’ve been like “gotcha she just fell like a normal person this time” 

#lucy plays sdr2 #scooby dooby queue

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Thirteen: Bright Lights ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina, vulgarity ] [ Verse: Oil and Blood ] [ AO3 Link ]

Another night...another bout of insomnia.

Giving up on keeping her eyes closed, Hinata instead lets them open to stare up at the ceiling. The last time this happened, she found a man half-dead in an alleyway, and subsequently almost got herself killed the other day when his rival gang snatched her up.

...it’s a long story.

She’s now on her third day off work. Her doctor contact managed to get her a full week with a cover story of being under treatment for something highly contagious. Her boss, not wanting anyone else to get sick and vanish, handed over the (unpaid) set of days off without question once the doc signed a note.

Which is good, because Hinata really hasn’t felt like going into work.

She’s had Uchiha casually stalking her apartment building, discouraged from leaving it unless absolutely necessary. And beyond Sasuke taking her to get groceries two days ago (the man she saved and who accidentally started this whole fiasco), she hasn’t left the building, much less her apartment.

As dragging as work can be, she never realized until now how boring it is to be stuck at home. She’s bounced between bingeing shows and movies to playing games to browsing social media...to even just people watching from her window. Something she normally detests, given her own distaste of being observed. Well...by people, anyway. It’s unavoidable otherwise, what with security being as high as it is in Japan anymore.

But now here she is, three nights in and she’s finally reached a point where even sleep can’t do anything for her. So, now what to do. She doesn’t feel like watching or playing anything…

...she almost feels like going for a walk.

Of course, there’s no avoiding how odd that seems, given that it was this exact scenario over two weeks ago that got her into this mess in the first place: being unable to sleep, going for a walk under the bright lights of the nightlife city, and stumbling across a mod-stripped Sasuke in the gutter.

Does she dare do so again? Or will she risk running into some other mess that will get her life all the more interrupted?

...but then again...how much worse can it get, really?

Sighing, she chews her tongue in thought. If she does want to go for a walk...she’ll have to do so with an escort to make sure no snooping Senju snatches her off the sidewalk like last time she was out and about.

But her next question is who exactly is on duty...Sasuke’s the only one she’s talked to. The rest she’s had no real reason to see given her reclusion in her apartment. Anyone else...she’s not sure if she should ask to leave. They might just get annoyed, and she’s not really eager to push her luck anymore than she has. Sasuke made it pretty clear she’s not likely to have the gang’s support for too long. She might have saved Sasuke’s life...but one favor was likely already paid off when they in turn got her out of Tobirama’s clutches.

At least, in most minds.

Sasuke’s convinced he still owes her, given that it was his involvement in the first place that got her taken. His father seeing it the same way, however...hasn’t been going well.

And she’s still not sure what she’d rather have. While certainly not eager to be tug-of-warred between Uchiha and Senju, Hinata would rather just...not have to deal with either. She did her good deed, she got Sasuke out of trouble.

So why is she suddenly the one in distress?

Deciding to try her luck, she accesses Sasuke’s contact information in her communicator mod. It awaits input for a long moment befores she simply asks, Are you on duty this evening?

There’s a minute of silence.

Yeah. Why?

She can’t help a small sigh of relief. ...I can’t sleep. Sorta want to go for a walk.

You mean even considering what happened last time?

Her lips purse in a pout. Well I won’t be going alone this time, will I?

...she can almost hear his vexed sigh. ...guess you’ve got a point. All right, fine. You get fifteen minutes. Then back to bed, missy.

Hinata deadpans. Missy? What is she, sixteen? Ugh… Getting out of bed, she throws on random clothes and makes her way down to the main floor, feeling almost odd after a few days not seeing it.

And as expected, Sasuke waits near the entrance, leaned and relaxed.

At least he’s not smoking this time...eugh.

“Anything in particular keeping you awake?”

She gives him a glance. “You mean b-besides being caught in a turf war I have n-no real part in on account of doing something nice? Wondering if I’m going to lose my job or my apartment or whatever else? Nothing much, I guess.”

He just snorts. “Never would have taken you for the sassy type.”

“Even I have limits to my patience.”

“Clock’s ticking. Let’s see if we can tucker you out enough to sleep.”

Falling into step with him, Hinata asks, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Aren’t you...tired?”

“What, you think I’m not used to pulling all nighters?” Sasuke glances up, taking in the sights of the city’s neon lights. “I don’t really have much of a set sleep schedule. I just take it when I can.”

“That bad, huh?”

“My line of work isn’t exactly a nine to five. It’s whenever, wherever, however. All according to when my old man needs me to do something.”

Hinata gives a hum at that. And then a thought strikes her. “What...were you doing the night I found you? If...you don’t m-mind my asking.”

Shoulders shrug, indicating indifference. “Actually had the night off. Had been to a bar, was stumbling around...and they got the jump on me. Three Senju, all under direct orders of Tobirama. He’s wanted me dead for a looong time. Well...he wants us all dead, ideally. But as my dad’s more active son, I’m a pretty big target.”

Her brows furrow. “...active…?”

“My brother’s got some health issues. Mostly taken care of by mods, but...he’s still gotta be careful. So he’s more of an organizer, behind-the-scenes sorta guy rather than a runner-gunner like me. There’s only one reason he showed up to help bust you and the doc out. And a hint: it wasn’t you.”

“...oh…”

“Do I get to ask a counter question?”

“I guess there’s n-nothing else to do while we walk.”

“Why’d your dad cut you off?”

To her own surprise, the question doesn’t sour her mood. Maybe she’s too tired. “...my father is one of the biggest mod manufacturers in the east. Mostly medical ones rather than cosmetic. They help a lot of people, save a lot of lives...but are unethically expensive. When I got old enough to realize just what he was doing, I f-found my courage and confronted him about it. He ridiculed me, told me I didn’t understand, and...disinherited me. My sister is who will get everything when my father dies...partially split with my cousin, who is one of the main engineers behind the tech. But he’s not a child of my father, s-so...he’ll get less despite doing far more.”

Sasuke seems to mull that over for a moment. “...full offense, but...your dad’s a right prick.”

Hinata can’t help a snort. “...yeah. Yeah, he is.”

“And now you work in an insurance company who does pretty much the same thing, just from a different angle: extorts people for the mods they need.”

“...yeah.”

“Does that feel a bit...hypocritical to you, given what you tried to stand up for with your dad?”

“...in a way. But you also know I don’t do everything by the book. Whenever I can - when the case is bad enough - I refer them to Suigin-san and her ‘charitable’ work. I’ve never been caught.”

“How’d you meet her, anyway?”

“As a patient, believe it or not.” There’s a moment of hesitation, and then Hinata lifts a hand to her chest. “...I have an implant in my heart. I’ve had it since I was twelve. My cousin Neji, he…” She sighs. “...he and I had a very...s-strained relationship when young. His father, my father’s twin, was equal parts of the company, and...died when we were small. For the longest time, e-everyone suspected my father had him killed, to gain complete control. Obviously...that earned hatred from my cousin. And as my father’s heir...I was the target he could go after. He’s always been a genius, and...developed a subcutaneous mod that acts as a taser. He never told anyone, and experimented with it on himself. When he perfected it...he attacked me with it w-when we were preteens. I’d always been a little frail, and...the voltage stopped my heart.”

Sasuke’s eyes go wide. “Oh, shit…”

A somber nod. “...when I came to, I was in a clinic nearby the private school we were attending, where he attacked me. And it was Suigin-san who saved me. She implanted the device that keeps my heart stable, and...we’ve been connected ever since. So, once I got my job, I was talking to her about my f-frustrations, and...she admitted to her under-the-table work. And that’s...how that all got s-started.”

“...well I’ll be damned. How, uh...how do you guys get along now? You and your cousin?”

“After the...falling out, he approached me. Told me my father had blackmailed him to work for the company...saying he’d not press charges for attacking me if he agreed to use his genius for the tech. Of course, he had no choice...but once he realized what I stood for, and that I let it all go for my m-morals...he finally apologized. I couldn’t blame him for hating me...what I stood for. But we’re decent friends, now. We don’t talk much for fear of my father getting angry and s-sabotaging Neji somehow, though.”

“...and I thought my family had problems.”

Hinata can’t help a soft laugh. “Well...it could be worse. Anymore I’m just...getting by. Not really sure what else to d-do with myself. I help who I can with Suigin-san’s assistance, but...it’s drops in the bucket, y’know?”

“Yeah...well…” Sasuke gives her a glance. “...the offer still stands to go after him as my debt. Maybe I could do something about all that, huh?”

“...maybe. Right now, though...I’m too tired to think about it.”

“Tired enough to sleep?”

“Mm...I hope so.”

The pair then start angling back toward the proper building. Once there, Sasuke seems to...hesitate under the lights.

“...sorry if I, uh...pressed too hard.”

“No, not at all. I didn’t say a-anything I didn’t want to. Besides, it...sort of felt nice to get that off my chest. Maybe I really will sleep now.”

“...I hope so. I’ll be off in the morning to rest, but...I’ll keep you updated. Something tells me my dad’ll have made up his mind about things. We’ll see.”

“All right. Goodnight, Sasuke-san.”

“Night.”

Dredging back up to her room, Hinata collapses into bed. And by some grace, it takes her only moments to fall asleep.

                                                      .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 250, 254, 269, 300, 303, and 309!)       Aaand more cyberpunk AU. And a bit more detailed background on our two MCs...well, more so Hinata than Sasuke, but we'll get there. You think she'd be more wary of walking around at night, but...well, I guess she feels a bit safer given who she's with ;3      Also for anyone curious (which I doubt but whatever lol), this actually subtly mirrors the "canon" plot of how Hinata and Ryū meet, Ryū being one of the medics that helps save Hinata after her fight against Neji in the chūnin exams! Just a wee lil tidbit I threw in, lol      Buuut anyway, I am...EXHAUSTED so I'm gonna go crash! Thanks so much for reading~

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #vulgarity // #oil and blood [ au ] #365daysofsasuhina

[uglypastels]

The Perfect Guy // Tom Holland

requested by @thedolphinsbee : short fic where tom is dating a med student or something

(a/n) I’m going with what we talked about. Hope its decent lol 

word count: 1638

warning: nope 

Tom stepped through the doors of the hospital. He ignored the many signs to different sections of the building, just immediately took a turn left and kept walking. If he stopped and actually thought about where he had to go it would only confuse him more.  

He had reached the floor you usually were at, together with the other students. He was just about to ask a nurse where he could find you when he saw you turn a corner, dressed in scrubs. 

“Tom!” you jogged up to him. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t leave yet, its super busy and they need all of us to- ughh... I don’t want to bore you with all the medical stuff.” you laugh. Tom just nodded in agreement but wanted to say that he would never get bored of you talking about your study. It was fascinating... And besides, maybe he could use it as research in case he ever needs to play a doctor. 

“that’s fine darling, I can wait.” 

“You sure? I don’t mind if you go home. I can take the bus.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. Now, go save lives and I’ll wait here and then we can go get some pizza like you wanted.” he shooed you off. You wanted to reply that technically you weren’t saving any lives - just helping more experienced people do that - but you really had to go. 

Tom sat down in the waiting room. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started scrolling through his apps. That continued for a few minutes until he felt something on his leg. He looked up from under his cap to see a little girl, carefully poking his knee. She must have been around seven or eight. 

“Are you Spider-man?” she whispered. Tom smiled and replied, in his Queens accent, “Yeah, I am. but shhh don’t tell anyone. It’s kind of a secret you know.”  The girl giggled. 

She was about to say something when a nurse walked up to her. “Mary, there you are. I’ve been looking all over the place for you.” That’s when Tom noticed that she was wearing pajamas and a little bathrobe. She was a patient. 

“No, I don’t wanna!” she cried out, pulling away from the lady, “it hurts.” She sat down next to Tom and hugged his arm, surprising him and the nurse. Her eyes widened and cheeks heated up, and Tom wasn’t sure that was because she recognized him or because the child clutching on to him. 

He raised a confused eyebrow and the nurse just sighed, shrugged sadly and mimicked the injection of a needle. Tom nodded that he understood and turned his attention to the girl. He continued talking in his Peter Parker voice. 

“Hey, Mary, it’s gonna be alright, kiddo.” 

“Nooooo,” she whined, “I’m scared.” 

“I don’t believe that. You look like a tough cookie.” she giggled at his comment. “You know what, I’m not really supposed to tell this to anyone, but Mr. Stark is super afraid of needles too.” Her eyes widened in surprise. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, don’t tell him I told you that or he will take my suit away again. But yeah he is super scared of them. Like crazy scared. But Mr. Stark is also crazy brave. Just like you.” 

“See, Mary,” the nurse kneeled down to talk to her patient. “You can do it. Come on.” She reached out her hand for her but Mary just looked at Tom pouting. 

“Can you come with me, Spider-man?”

“Uhhh,” he shared a look with the nurse. She looked just as unsure as he did. “No, I’m sorry kid, I have to wait here for someone. But I believe in you. You can do it. High five?” he put up his hand. Mary smiled and hit his hand with her small one. He pretended like he just took a big hit. “Woah, you’re strong!” 

The girl squealed in happiness before going with the nurse. She kept turning around and waving. Tom waved back until she was gone. He turned his phone back on.  

Some more minutes later, he saw the same nurse walk up to him. “Hi, sorry to bother you, but you’re Tom Holland, right?”  

“Yeah,” he chuckled as he put his phone away. 

“Wow, I’m a huge fan! What you do- it’s amazing! Are you waiting for a doctor or...” 

“No, I’m waiting for my girlfriend. Her shift should end any minute.” 

“Argh, and you’re sweet too.” she laughed, “Uhm, anyway, I wanted to say thank you. You really helped Mary get over her fears of needles. Poor kid hates them. She used to run away every time.” 

“yeah, no problem. Is she gonna be alright?” 

“We hope so, but like you said, she is strong. She’s definitely a fighter.” she laughed nervously, “and also a bit of a blabber. She told all the kids in the ward that she met Spider-man and, I know that this must be really inappropriate because I know this is your own private time, but they are dying to meet you.” 

“Ah no, it's fine. I would love to meet some fans,” he smiled. “If the hospital and parents are okay with it, of course.” 

“Really? Ah, that would make their day! Okay, follow me.” She lead him to the part of the hospital that was most definitely meant for kids. The walls weren’t a depressing shade of grey. They were colorful, with pictures of all kinds of fictional characters like Winnie the Pooh, Princess Leia and... huh, there was Spider-Man. 

There was one wall that was mostly one big pinboard, filled with drawings. 

The nurse, whose name turned out to be Jane, showed him the way to the playroom. A few kids were sitting around and playing. When the door opened, their little heads shot up from their toys to look at the people walking inside. A boy gasped. Another yelled out: “Spider-Man!!”  and ran toward Tom and hugged his legs. 

“Oof, hey big guy, hows it hanging?” The other kids followed walked up to Tom. “Hi guys, I’m Peter.” he waved to them and they all waved back excitedly. The boy that had a hold of his legs let him go and looked up. 

“That’s my name too!” 

“Alright!” Tom squatted down so the kids didn’t have to strain their necks. Some of them took that as a sign to sit down on the ground. They all looked at him in awe. 

A girl with black pigtails asked: “Are you really Spider-Man?” 

“I sure am.” 

“So where is your super suit?” a boy with blonde curls questioned further. 

“Ugh, my aunt put it in the dryer and it shrank. Can you believe it? Mr Stark is making me a new one though.”

“Is it gonna have a cape?” 

“No,” Tom laughed, “no capes.” He couldn’t help make at least one the Incredibles joke. These kids were giving him so many opportunities. 

He talked to them for a good hour. By that time you had ended your shift and got changed into your normal clothes. You walked into the hallway where you expected Tom to wait for you, but he wasn’t there. Maybe he went to the toilet?  So you waited for a moment, but when, after five minutes, he still hadn’t shown his cute face you were getting confused. 

You checked your phone to see if he had left you any messages. Nope. This didn’t make any sense. He wouldn’t ditch you like that. But where the hell was he then? 

Then you heard some nurses talk as they passed you. “Oh my god, did you hear who is here?”  

“Yeah, Tom freaking Holland!” the two women giggled. “you know, I hate working with kids, but I am so jealous of everyone in the pediatric wing.” Of course, he went to visit the kids. He couldn’t help but play pretend with his younger fans. Smiling to yourself, you made your way to that part of the building. 

The moment you stepped through the big doors separating the general part of the hospital and the more child-friendly part, you could hear his laugh. Followed by the many noises made by the children. 

You walked to the play area. Tom was sitting on the ground. He had just caught a big teddy bear that was thrown at him by a little girl. He was smiling, little crinkles under his eyes. 

“Hey! What was that for?” 

“You called Boocky stoopid!” the little girl accused him. “He isn’t stoopid.” 

“Okay, sorry.” His eyes found you in the door. His already joy-filled eyes lit up even more. 

“Ahh, guys, I’m sorry but I gotta go.” He started to slowly get up. A collective groan from the kids erupted. they also got up and all attacked him into a big hug. Of course, most of them only reached up to his thighs but it didn’t stop them from a tight hug. he high-fived the kids that couldn’t reach him. 

“Bye guys!” Finally, when they let go of him he walked up to you. The kids were waving like maniacs. Bright smiled on their little faces. You had a feeling that for some of them it was the first time in a while that they had smiled like that. 

You walked behind Tom until you left the ward, then immediately wrapped your arms around his middle. His arm found its way over your shoulder. 

“That was adorable,” you said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You are seriously the most perfect guy there is out there.”

“I try to be.” he kissed your forehead. Enveloped in each other like that, you walk outside.  

“So, you still feeling like eating pizza,” he asked as you both opened your doors to the car, “Cause I sure as hell could eat a Hawaiian?”  You roll your eyes as you step into the car. 

Okay, he was almost the perfect guy.

The End

> masterlist in bio 

> please let me know what you think !! I live for feedback and comments

> tagging: 

@thelazypangolin @andwhatdostarsdobest @tomhollanders2013 @anxieteandbiscuits @spiderrrling @summernykole @fratboievans (happy b-day!!)  @dtftomholland @lovelyspidey @hey-its-grey @silverofthunder @musiclover1263 @awkwardfangirl2014

#request #tom holland #tom holland request #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfics #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland writing #tom holland fic #tom holland fluff #tom holland insert #tom holland x reader #fic #fics #fanfic #fanfics #fanfiction #writing #insert fic #x reader fic #fluff

[missvgj98]

It’s a Match!  Chapter 1

Confrontation

It’s midnight and I am still up working on a paper for my Anatomy class that’s due tomorrow morning. No, I did not procrastinate. I worked on it throughout the two weeks we were assigned them. I just decided to take on the hardest and most elaborate topic: Cancer. There are multiple types of Cancer and I have to write about every single one making this a ten paged Research Paper.

           Ugh, Kill me.

Hinata is also with me but, not physically. Through facetime. We decided that this semester was gonna take some of the same classes. She’s in school to become a doctor. Following the footsteps of her infamous Father. And I’m in school to become a nurse. We told each other it would be better to do it together even though I’m not going to be in school for the same amount of time.

           “Temari…” Hinata groaned out.

“Yes.” I said keeping my eyes glued to my computer screen.

“I’m dying.”

           “That sucks,” I said still not looking at her.

“Temari.”

           “What.” I looked at her.

           “I’m tired of reading about how Ischaemic heart disease is the number one leading cause of death across a number of countries.”

           “I’m not the one who told you to take that topic.”

“Can we take a break?”

“It’s midnight, I don’t think we have room for a break.” I looked back over at her again and watched as she began to massage her temples. I know she’s stressed out because not only is she doing school full time but, also shadowing her Father in the Lab. He’s a big-time Bio-Medical Researcher and a Surgeon. He wants Hinata to take after him and continue on the Empire that is Hyuga. And not only her but, her older cousin Neji as well, and her younger sister too, Hanabi.

“Hinata, you know I’m not going to be easy on you. When we graduated High school, we talked about this.” I said.

           “I know.”

           “I asked you, do you want to become a doctor? And because of your Dad, you said ‘Yes.’ I said to do this only if you want to do this.”

“I know, Tem- “

           “I know you’re overworked. I know you’re stressed. But Hina, the time to change your mind is over. If you back out now, all it’s gonna bring is trouble.”

“I should’ve listened to you. You knew I wanted to follow my own dreams but- “

           “But the fear you have for your Dad is more than the wants you have for your dreams.” I took off my glasses and massaged my neck. “Hinata, you need to get over this fear. Not only for your Dad but, fear over all things that scare you. Cause one day you’re gonna look back at your life and you’re gonna regret not doing this or doing that. And I don’t want that for you.”

“Well, how about you?”

           “Don’t turn this on me. You know why I made my decisions. You have freedom, you just don’t take it. I have to take consideration of my family and the benefits it makes on them.”

“And you’re happiness? When are you going to take that into consideration? You’re becoming a nurse, yes, because it’s gonna make more money for your family. It’s a lot quicker than anything else; you’re gonna be in school for only two to three years and off to work you go. But that’s not what you want to do either. You’re just doing it to make your mom happy. So, you’re in the same boat as me.”

           “Yea, but you had a choice. You have a dream. I didn’t know what to do exactly after high school. This gave me something.” I told her. “Hinata, we can do this. Slowly, over time maybe we’ll start to love it.”

           She took a breath. “Okay…” Her breath was shaky.

“Don’t cry…” I said.

           “I-I’m not…” She wiped her eyes. “Let’s just talk about something-“

*DING*

           A text message had popped up on my phone.

“Hidan?” Hinata guessed with an attitude.

I sighed. “Yeah…”

           Hidan: Hey Babe… U awake?

“This brings up another thing…” Hinata said. “Hidan.”

“Hinata I already know what you’re going to say. We’ve been through this before.” I said while texting him back.

           “Why are you responding?” Hinata complained.

“Why not?” I put her back on the screen. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“A BAD one at that.” She shot back.

           “He’s not bad. You just don’t like him.”

Me: Yea… still studying ☹

           “I have my reasons. A. He associates himself with the wrong crowd. B. He has a bad influence on your brother’s, and you know that. C. He does drugs- “

“Weed is not a serious drug and was made legal.” I defended.

“It’s not like he has a medical reason to be smoking it. D. He-“

“Are you going through the whole entire alphabet?”

           “That’s the problem Temari! I could literally go through the whole entire alphabet listing his problems. And that’s not even enough! I’d have to make up new letters.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

           “Am I?” Hinata crossed her arms.

“You’re just bringing this up so you don’t have to focus on your paper,” I said.

           “I’m bringing this up because I love you and I care about you.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m being so serious right now, Tem. You’re too good for him. He’s just playing you in an act. Keeping an eye out for your brothers, giving you money-“

“He takes care of me!”

           “Yeah, just so he can get the one thing you haven’t given him yet. Sex.”

“That’s not it.” I glared.

“It’s been six months Tem! Since the day I first met him all he’s eyes screamed was LUST after you. He’s trying to get with you! And then he’s going to throw you away like trash. He’s buttering you up for easy access. It’s. An. Act.”

           “Hina…”

“You know I’m right. And it’s not just him who is at fault here, you are too. You’re using him too-“

“Enough!”

“No! You confronted me. Now I’m confronting you. It’s my turn.” I huffed. “I know you’re in a tough situation. Your mom is working two jobs, she’s barely in the house, your brothers are messing with the wrong crowd, getting in trouble with the police and at school, you’re juggling school and work helping your mom pay bills. I know- it’s tough Tem. Ever since your Dad died things have been stressful. And I get it Hidan helps distract you from it all. But there are better ways Temari.”

“It’s not like I’m doing anything bad,” I said.

           “But eventually you could…. Your mingling yourself with people who entertain the lifestyle of drugs, sex, and alcohol. And that’s not gonna keep your brother’s away from them if you’re in stupid love with one of them. They’re gonna think, “Oh, my sisters cool with them so, it’s okay now.” It’s just going to bring them into more violence and more issues. You’re their leader, Tem. They look up to you. If you want them to do good, then love what is good. Right now, you’re loving the wrong side. You may not see it now but, stay there long enough and soon it’s gonna hit you.”

*DING*

           Hidan: Meet me outside.

“He’s there, isn’t he?” She guessed correctly.

“I’ll call you back?” I felt bad…

           “No. I’m just gonna finish this paper then head to bed. I’ll pick you up in the morning.” She said simply.

“Ok…” I paused. She looked at me with a face of slight disappointment. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” She gave me a small smile then hung up.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

           I sat at my desk for a minute before I got up, threw my hair into a messy bun, and made my way outside to meet Hidan.

Hinata’s not wrong…but, I just need him now.

           “Heyyy!” He smiled at the sight of me and threw his arms out before him. “How’s my baby doing?”

“Good.” He embraced for a while as if he was taking every bit of me in.

“Ah, I missed you today. Sorry, I was so busy. We had a delivery today.” He wrapped his arm around my waist keeping me close. “Almost got in a mix up with a couple guys but, I took good care of them.”

           I smiled looking longingly into his eyes with my arms around his neck. “Wow, you're sooo strong.”

He grabbed my waist as I planted my lips on his. It felt so good. It made me feel… like I’m alive… like I matter. Hidan saw me when I felt like no one did and even if he’s not the right guy…

           He broke the kiss and looked me in the eye. His eyes looked hungry and before he said a word, I knew what was next.

“You wanna… go to your room?” He smiled.

           I nodded.

I want this.

_______________________________________________

­­­­            When I woke up, it was six o’clock in the morning. The sun was barely up. And Hidan laid with one arm over me, snoring softly. I starred up at the ceiling as I wrapped the sheets around my bare chest and took in a deep breath.

           My family and I moved here to Kohona about six years ago and through our cousin Sasori, my brothers met Hidan and the rest of the gang. Ever since then… it has been hell but, we’ll get into that sometime later. Hidan and I got together about six months ago. I would pick up my brothers from time to time at his place and obviously, he noticed me. Since the beginning, Hidan always had tried to get with me and I always rejected him. Because back then when I still had some sense I knew that he was apart of a gang, does drugs, sells drugs, and has a bunch of women at his disposal anytime he wants. So, to be with him (for the longest time) was ridiculous to me. I would never put myself through that… but then as years passed and my life getting no better… I became vulnerable. I became desperate.

           My parents fought and my dad was in and out of the house. My brothers being disobedient and getting in all types of trouble. And ever since my father’s untimely death I felt as though I had to carry my family. Whenever one of them was down or in a ditch, it was me who was there for them. It was me who heard them out, paid the bills… it’s like I sold my soul for my family. I sacrificed everything for them. And in return, I didn’t get anything back. So, I felt like nothing but, I felt like something when Hidan was around. He noticed me and gave me attention so I… gave in. And I saw that I could get something out of this.

           I turned and looked at him. He was still fast asleep.

It wasn’t love at first sight. Not at all. He didn’t woo me into it. Never really even felt a spark. This isn’t love. Hinata’s very correct. He’s nowhere close to being the one for me. But I am so empty… depressed even… The sex, the alcohol, the occasional drugs that I take from time to time….

I turned back towards the ceiling shedding silent tears. I muffled sobs with my hand.

           It gives me something to live for… and yet… it’s still not enough. I’m just using him. In high school, there was no one really there that peaked my interest. I only talked to Hinata; she was my only friend. No one even tried to mess with me because they knew who my brothers were and their reputation. So, no one bothered. And it wasn’t like I was searching for attention at the time. I was so fixated on taking care of my family that I didn’t have time to enjoy my youth and fool around. I had to grow up pretty quick. And take care of my mom. After my dad died, that’s when I became desperate and loneliness really became a burden to me. And Hidan kept bugging me.

           So, one day, I asked him, “What are you willing to give me?”

“Excuse me?” He smiled.

“What am I gonna get out of this?” I turned to him completely and played with the hem of his shirt.

           “I’ll take care of you,” He said. “Whatever you need baby… I got you.”

And I gave in. I gave into it all. I gave into his whole lifestyle and now I feel worst. I don’t want to tell Hinata because it would just kill her. And I wish I could but, I’m in too deep.

A/N: Please comment, like, share or whatever!

How did you all like the first Chapter? And don’t worry Shikamaru will make his first appearance in the next upcoming chapter. Hope you all enjoyed 😊

~ MissV

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