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plus-size-reader · 3 years

Text

Just a Kid

Daryl Dixon x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2453 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Taking Lydia in as your own with Daryl

Hi, I couldn’t get this concept out of my head.

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“She’s just a kid, D” you hummed, carefully working at the knot in his neck that he’d been complaining about for days.

You knew that this thing with the girl, and Jesus, and all these people wearing faces was really starting to wear on Daryl’s nerves.

You could tell, because every night when he came back to your house, he was even more tense than the last and at this point, you were really starting to get concerned that he would burst a blood vessel.

There was just too much going on right now.

...but you knew what you had to do.

Lydia was just a child, and even if her people were the purest evil you could ever imagine, that didn’t mean that she was. If nothing else, she was little more than a battered little girl who had never known any better.

That was how you saw her, and you knew Daryl did too.

He just wasn’t ready to take on so much yet, and honestly, he didn’t know if he could. It was hard for him to have to take over all this at Hilltop, and that girl they’d brought was only making it worse.

“You still on that?” he grumbled back, really hoping that you would have gotten over this pipe dream of yours already.

The two of you had talked this conversation to death, and while you knew there was a good chance that nothing was going to change, you would continue to do so until he changed his mind.

Ever since she had come to know this group, you had gotten it in your head that the two of you could give her the home that she had never had but Daryl wasn’t so easily convinced.

It just seemed like more than you were ready for.

He saw that look in your eyes, when she was finally safe behind those gates, but then you’d gone and made it even worse.

You met her.

Maybe it hadn’t been the greatest idea, and maybe it wouldn’t help but you knew that at least you could try to understand better.

You could only imagine how a girl in her position would be feeling. You knew that if you were her, you would have been absolutely terrified.

After all, she was surrounded by strangers, in an unforgiving and new environment.

It was possible that one friendly face would make all the difference to her and as it happened, you had one of the friendliest faces around here.

If anyone was going to get through to her, it was you.

Course, Daryl was against the idea from the start but you knew that no one else was going to stick their neck out for her if you two didn’t. That made it more than worth it to you, even if no one else understood.

She didn’t say a word for the first few days.

Lydia had nothing to say to you and frankly, you couldn't blame her for that. You were a stranger, the enemy as far as she knew, and there was no reason she should have trusted you at all, but that wasn’t always going to be the case.

The more you came, the more she realized that you may have been the only person willing to stick their neck out for her. Once she decided that you weren’t going to kill her, or sell her out, it was pretty much settled.

You needed to help her.

It wasn’t up for debate, but for some reason, convincing Daryl was proving to be an even more difficult task.

“We aren’t her parents, it ain’t our place” he tried, desperately hoping that you would see how insane what you were proposing was. Still, you weren’t letting up, and he knew you well enough to know what that meant.

You were invested.

You were going to do whatever you could to get through to her.

Perhaps it was because you two found yourself comparing her to Daryl or perhaps it was your own soft spot for kids.

In any case, the damage was done.

“She doesn’t have parents D, that’s why she needs us” you sighed, leaning down to rest fully into his back, your head nestled in the space between his shoulder and his neck. It gave you just enough leverage to look at him.

It was hardly up for debate.

Lydia’s mother saw her as little more than an asset, something to abuse and control. After all the things you’d endured with Daryl, it made her well being that much more personal, for both of you.

It took months to get Daryl to tell you about his past.

He trusted you more than anyone else in the world, and his greatest pain was still too difficult to share until he knew you weren’t going anywhere.

You had no doubt that the hold this girl’s mother had on her was even stronger.

At least Daryl had Merle, he knew how much of an asshole his dad was.

Lydia was brainwashed.

You would be lucky if you were ever able to break whatever her mother had done to her, due to the extreme circumstances, but you knew that you had to try.

No one deserved the way she had been treated, and you wanted to make sure that she understood it wasn’t her fault.

Her mother was cruel, and there was nothing more to it than that.

The best way to prove that to her would be giving her a real home, proving to her that not everyone was going to treat her the way that she did. Maybe, if she felt safe, she would finally start to open up.

When the two of you first met, Daryl hardly spoke to you and when he did, it was always in a gruff, unfriendly tone. It took him some time to warm up to you and once he had, that tone warmed up to one of love.

It just took time.

The same thing could apply to Lydia, if you just gave her some time.

If nothing else, it had to be worth a shot.

She was worth it.

“You really wanna do this?” he hummed, after what felt like an eternity of silence between the two of you.

Daryl heard you, he got the message, he just couldn't be sure that being with you, and him, would be enough.

He knew what it was like to be in her position, and he knew how hard it was to let people in. It was possible that she would never allow herself to be cared for in the way you wanted to, and he didn’t want you getting your hopes up.

You would be crushed if she rejected your offer, but it couldn’t hurt.

Even if she wanted nothing to do with either of you, at least you tried to give her something. That was much more than anyone else in the world had ever done for her.

“Yeah, I do. I really do” you smiled, not even bothering to hide the wide grin that spread across your face at the idea of what he was saying. It wasn’t exactly a yes, but it was as much of a yes as you were going to get from Daryl.

It was more than enough.

At the end of the day, even if it was a bad idea, Daryl knew better than to argue with you. What you were suggesting was crazy, but it was so very you that he couldn’t even worry about it.

He fell in love with you and that heart of gold of yours, so if this was what it was telling you to do, he owed it to you to let you do what you thought was right.

You had to, just as he had to.

...and of all the crazy ideas you’d ever had, this was hardly the most dangerous one.

All you wanted to do now was give a little girl a place to live and a family, it wasn’t like you were suggesting some kind of suicide mission. You and Daryl had faced far worse than a child, desperate for belonging and acceptance.

What you were doing was new for all of you.

Lydia wasn’t sure, at first.

After all, she had never really had parents and you and Daryl had certainly never been parents.

It just wasn’t something you had any experience with.

However, with all that you’d lost recently, it didn’t make sense to turn her away too. She was a product of her circumstances and nothing more. It wouldn’t be fair to make Lydia pay for the sins of her mother.

Instead, you chose to put all your effort into making sure she never felt like a burden again.

You knew that she blamed herself, in part, for what her mother had done. Henry was gone, Tara was gone, Enid was gone, it was just too much.

You’d lost too many people in the months it had been and you weren’t interested in losing any more.

You certainly weren’t interested in letting a little girl take the blame for what her people had done, not when she first arrived, and not now.

Lydia was good, she was trying, and that wasn’t something you were going to debate.

Thankfully, that was something you and Daryl could both agree on, without all the initial back and forth.

You were both winging it, of course, but you knew that you had to try and stick up for her. Even the smallest gesture would make a world of difference.

She deserved to feel safe for once.

When you and Daryl had decided to take her in, it wasn’t supposed to be perfect. You weren’t going to move into a little cottage surrounded by a white picket fence, with flowers and a dog.

It was making the best of whatever shit show situation you’d been dealt.

It was all you knew to do.

“You wanna help me with this?” you hummed, addressing your words to the young girl at your side.

What you were asking wasn’t really all that much of a question but considering that you were sewing up a huge hole in Daryl’s button up, she wasn’t interested.

“D does it himself, mostly, but he’s clumsy about it. The stitching always comes undone” you reminded, thinking about the last time he’d offered to stitch up a hole in your jeans, and it had unraveled by the end of the day.

He meant well, he really did, but he had never really had the patience for more delicate things like this. Sewing of any kind, even stitches in flesh, had never really been his foray.

...but that was okay.

You told him that you would take care of this, and he could pick up the slack somewhere else, making dinner or cleaning blood and dirt out of the laundry.

“I don’t know how” she tried, looking at you in the way she often would when she ran into something she had never done before. The two of you’d had this same conversation when you suggested she go to school with the other children.

She didn’t even know how to read when she came to you, and now, she is making great progress.

It was just a matter of learning what she had never had a chance to learn before.

“I’ll teach you, it's easy” you smiled, handing her the garment with one hand, and the needle with the other.

She looked unsure, lost even, but she took it nonetheless.

“Hold the fabric with this hand, and move the needle with the other, up and down in as straight a line as you can manage” you instructed, keeping it as simple as you possibly could until she got the hang of it.

You knew this was probably a tad bit overwhelming, and if she didn't go it right the first time, she would get discouraged but luckily, years by Daryl’s side had taught you a patience that nothing else ever could.

You could sit here all day if you had to, as long as she got the hang of it.

Lydia had been living with her pack of skin walkers all this time, only doing what she was told, but that wasn’t the life she was living now.

She was part of a community, and she had a family, but that also meant that she had to learn to protect and provide for herself when you weren’t there. If something ever happened to you or Daryl, she still had to live.

Her clothes couldn’t be ripped or ruined, her wounds couldn’t stay open to fester, and eventually, she would need to cook and clean for herself too, but for now, a helping hand was all you needed.

People were what kept your communities running, and your home was no different. You and Daryl were a team, communicating without words most of the time, and she was part of that now.

She was part of the team.

“Like that?” she tried, hoping that some part of what she was doing was right. There was no real way to tell but you didn’t seem upset so that had to be a good sign.

It was a strangely domestic task for her, one that brought back memories of her people, her old people, sewing up masks of tanned human skin. The motion was the same, the idea was the same, but there was something normal about this.

She was just fixing a shirt.

There was nothing volatile or aggressive about this, and it wasn’t for anything other than someone she cared for. That made it a little easier to stomach than any other chore may have been.

This was for Daryl after all, and if anyone had earned something like this, it was him.

Lydia wasn’t blind.

She knew what the two of you had done for her, always making sure she had something to eat and sticking up for her when the others got a little too comfortable with their distaste for her.

“Exactly, just a little closer together” you prompted, smiling when she did just as you asked. She was a quick learner, and you knew that she could do this.

This was normal, real, and the sooner she learned that she could live a completely normal life, the sooner she would really adapt to life in a community like this one.

“Once you’re done, you can help Daryl with dinner. I’m sure he’d love the help”

It was hardly where she expected to be, but it was more than where she’d been. At least, with you and Daryl, Lydia knew that she was safe.

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

Out Of Time ~ 141

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,200ish

Summary: Things start to get real. (gifs aren’t mine) PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE END.

“Now, you better be on your best behavior for your Aunt Pepper and Uncle Happy, alright?” Y/N said. She was kneeling down to Morgan’s level, brushing the little girl’s hair behind her ears.

“Alright, momma,” Morgan agreed with a nod.

“Daddy and I will call you every day.”

“Can’t I just come visit you? The—the com… compod… com—“

“Compound,” Y/N gently fixed with a smile.

“Yeah! It’s not too far away. I can come and help a wittle!”

Y/N sighed. “I wish you could, honey, but this is grown up stuff. Someday you’ll understand.” She pulled the girl into her arms, holding a kiss to the side of her head. “I love you, Morgan, so much.”

“Don’t tell daddy,” Morgan giggled, trying to whisper, “but I love you more than 3000.”

“Hey!” Tony exclaimed with mock hurt, coming onto the porch after packing the car. “I heard that.” He came and joined in on the hug. “But I forgive you.” He kissed the top of Morgan’s head before him and Y/N pulled back. “Don’t give Happy too much grieve, okay?”

“Okay, daddy!”

Tony leaned closer to Y/N. “If we’re going to do this, we’ve got to get going,” he whispered, placing a slight kiss near her ear.

“Okay,” Y/N whispered in reply. She leaned in and gave Morgan one last kiss on the forehead. “We’ll call you later tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too, momma and daddy,” Morgan responded.

Y/N and Tony stood up. She had an arm around his waist, holding herself close to him. Pepper and Happy came up behind Morgan.

“We’ll take good care of her,” Pepper promised.

“Thank you guys,” Y/N said before Tony led her to the car.

He opened the passenger door for her then got into the driver’s seat. Y/N waved and blew kisses to Morgan as they drove off. When they were too far away, she sighed into the seat. Tony reached one hand over and gave her knee a slight squeeze. They didn’t talk though, they were both too overwhelmed with what they were both headed to do.

~~~

Steve was standing outside, staring at the ground. His hands were on his hips as he looked beat. Bruce, Scott, Natasha, and himself had just tried to send Scott back in time, to no success. All they did was age and de-age Scott. Steve needed to get out of the hanger and clear his head. It had gotten his hopes up to bring everyone back, but it was looking like their plan wouldn’t be a possibility.

As a noise broke the silence, Steve looked up to see a car speeding towards the entrance. The car pulled over to him, passing him slightly, before reversing. As it backed up to stop in front of Steve, Tony rolled down his window to reveal himself and Y/N.

“Why the long face?” Tony asked. “Let me guess: he turned into a baby.”

Steve looked away with a slight smile on his face and a nod. “Among other things, yeah,” he responded looking back at the couple. “What are you two doing here?”

Tony got out of the car, Y/N following, and walked around to the back. “That's the EPR Paradox. Instead of pushing Lang through time, you might've wound up pushing time through Lang. It's tricky. Dangerous. Somebody should've cautioned you against it.” He leaned against the car as Y/N moved to stand beside him.

“You did.”

“Oh, did I?”

“Tony,” Y/N scolded quietly, knowing Steve did deserve the sass.

“Thank goodness we’re here. Regardless, I fixed it.” He held up his right hand, device on it. “A fully functioning Time-Space GPS. I just want peace.” He made a peace sign. “Turns out, resentment is corrosive, and I hate it.”

“Me too.”

“We got a shot at getting these Stones, but I gotta tell you our priorities: Bring back what we lost? I hope, yes. Keep what we got? I have to, at all costs. And... maybe not die trying will be nice.”

“Sounds like a deal.”

Steve reached out his hand to shake, in which Tony took it. Pulling away, Tony opened his truck. He reached in to pull out Captain America’s shield. He handed it toward Steve, who didn’t take it.

“Tony… I don’t know,” Steve said.

“Why?” Y/N asked. “Howard made it for you.”

“Plus, honestly we had to get it out of the garage before Morgan took it sledding,” Tony added. “She’s been way too eager to take it out since she found out it belongs to you.”

With a light sigh, Steve took the shield, placing his arm in the straps. It had been too long since it had rested on his arms, seven years in fact. It felt nice to have it back.

“Thank you,” Steve replied.

“Will you keep that a little quiet?” Tony asked as he pulled out a few more things from the car. “Didn’t bring one for the whole team… we are getting the whole team, yeah?”

“We’re working on that right now. You guys might be able to be of some help.” Steve began leading them back into the hanger. “Who’s with Morgan?”

“Pepper and Happy,” Y/N responded. It was clear to the men that Y/N was feeling hesitate to do this and leave Morgan. “You’re going to have to join in on the call tonight. She’s upset she didn’t get to talk to you that much when you guys showed up a few days ago.”

“Y/N? Tony?” She heard Natasha gasp. Her friend quickly ran to her, engulfing her in a hug. “You came to help. Thank you so much.”

“Woah there, Banner,” Tony said, causing everyone to notice him studying Bruce, who had merged with the Hulk. “What did you do?”

“I know, it’s different,” Bruce responded. “But I finally found a way to live with both my sides.”

“That’s wonderful,” Y/N smiled. “I’m so happy for you, Bruce.”

“Thank you.”

“What’s the plan with the team though?”

“I’ve called Rocket and Nebula,” Nat explained. “They’re on their way. Once they get here, Bruce with go with Rocket to fetch Thor from New Asgard. Rhodey needs to finish up a few things before he comes. They should all be here tomorrow.”

“What about Clint? Is he still off the grid?”

“I’ve pinned pointed his location and am going after him tonight.”

“Do you need any help?”

“I think this is something I need to do on my own.”

~~~

Night had fallen and Tony had already started building a platform for the time travel. Natasha had left to retrieve Clint and Y/N was just finishing up her video call with Morgan.

“It’s time to go sleepy night-night, now Mo,” she told her daughter. “I love you, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.” She blew a kiss.

Morgan blew one back. “Love you, momma!”

Y/N smiled softly as she hung up. Turning the phone in her hands, she looked around the bedroom she was sitting in. This old bedroom was filled was so many memories, good and bad. Y/N honestly never thought she’d ever come back here, again. With a small sigh, she pushed herself up from the bed and walked out onto the small balcony that was attached to the room. She leaned on the railing by her forearms and looked over the once bustling grounds of the compound.

“I thought I’d find you out here,” Tony said, snaking his arms around her and pressing a kiss to her neck. She jumped slightly. “Sorry, did I scare you?”

“A little. I guess I was too caught up in my thoughts,” Y/N responded.

Tony rested his chin on her shoulder. “Care to share?”

“This place used to be so lively… even after the team broke. There were people running around and working hard. Now… now It’s empty. Too empty… I don’t want this to be the world Morgan grows up in. I want to her see busy streets and cheer in crowded arenas. I want her to experience what life should be like. Not this… this mess.”

“I get it… I want her to meet Peter. I can already imagine the chaos those two could cause.”

Y/N laughed. “Me too… And Harley.”

“And Harley… we have to get our boys back.”

“We have to. And not die trying.”

~~~

The next day, Tony and Y/N spent building the platform, while everyone else came and went, going about their assignments. Natasha left to get Clint, having got some concrete leads about him being in Japan. Rocket, Nebula, and Rhodey arrived. Rocket and Bruce quickly left for New Asgard to fetch Thor. Nebula, Rhodey, and Scott began thinking of suit ideas for the time traveling. Steve gathered together everything he could find on the Infinity Stones, the whole time itching to ask Y/N questions. He wondered if she knew more than they had learned from past experiences. And it wouldn’t surprise him if she did.

Rocket and Bruce arrived back with Thor first. It shocked the team to see Thor in such a state as he was. His hair and beard were long once again, and he had gained more than a few pounds. It saddened Y/N to know that this had all taken such a toll on Thor. Her and Tony really had been one of the few lucky ones.

Rocket quickly began helping Y/N and Tony with the platform. Which Y/N was extremely grateful for because she could only understand, or do, very little of what Tony was asking of her.

Thor was drinking a beer as he clumsily walked towards the platform. Tony was walking from behind Thor, dragging a long hose.

“Drifting left,” Tony warned Thor as he began to pass him. “On the side there, Lebowski.” He faced Rocket, who was working underneath the platform. “Ratchet, how’s it going?”

“It’s Rocket,” the raccoon corrected. “Take it easy. You’re only a genius on Earth, pal.”

“Thank you!” Y/N exclaimed jokingly, pointing at Rocket.

“Hey!” Tony exclaimed, a little hurt.

“I love you!”

Tony scoffed. “Sure.”

Y/N giggled as she came up to Tony. “I’m sorry,” she pouted slightly as she grasped his hand. “Forgive me?”

Tony sighed, rolling his eyes playfully. “I guess.” He gave her a light kiss. “Want to go check out how the suit is coming?”

“Of course.”

They intertwined their fingers and headed to where they were figuring out the suit. When they arrived in the room, Scott was in the suit with Nebula and Bruce working on it around him.

“How’s it coming with the thingamajigger?” Tony asked as him and Y/N walked over to the Scott. “What’s our status?”

“Now?” Bruce wondered. “Yeah, it’s just about ready.”

“Alright, let me see. Wow. Got a little Pym,” Tony pointed, “Stark styling.”

“Yeah.”

“And the, uh, noggin bubble, courtesy of, uh,” Tony turned to Nebula, “Rings of Uranus. What’s your troop called?”

“The Guardians of the Galaxy,” Nebula answered.

“We just need someone to test it,” Bruce said, as he grabbed some small glass tubes with a red liquid and started doing something to Scott’s suit.

“Time travel suit?” Rhodey questioned, walking in. “Not bad.”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Scott exclaimed, stopping Bruce. “Easy, easy!”

“I’m being very careful,” Bruce responded.

“No, you’re being very Hulky.”

“I’m being careful.”

Scott held up a red tube. “These are Pym Particles, alright? And ever since Hank Pym got snapped out of existence, this is it. This is what we have. We're not making any more.”

“Scott, calm down,” Rhodey advised.

“Sorry. We've got enough for one round trip each. That's it. No do-overs. Plus two test runs.” Accidentally pressing a button, Scott quickly shrunk and returned to his normal size. “One test run.”

“Shit, Scott,” Y/N muttered, shaking her head.

“Alright, sorry. I’m not ready for this.”

“I’m game,” Clint’s voice suddenly came from behind them. They all turned to look at him. “I’ll do it.”

He looked different. It wasn’t just his hair cut and his sleeve tattoo. It was his eyes. Clint had lost his wife and three kids. Y/N couldn’t even imagine what he was exactly going through.

“Clint,” Y/N gasped softly.

“Y/N,” Clint responded with a nod.

Tearing up, Y/N let go of Tony’s hand and quickly wrapped her arms around Clint’s neck, bringing him in for a hug. Clint didn’t hesitate to hug her back.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered.

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N/N,” he responded. He pulled away and looked back at the others. “Suit me up. Let’s do this.”

~~~

Tony and Y/N got the platform set up and gathered everyone while Bruce, Rhodey, Scott, and Nebula got Clint situated. As everyone slowly gathered and Bruce came to help Tony, Y/N stayed back and close to the wall. She had started to tremble at the thought of the time travel actually working and all that came a long with it. Her head had also started to get fuzzy. And, from past experience over the years, she knew that a seizure could easily be triggered. Steve had noticed at discretely came over to her.

“You alright?” He whispered.

“I-I-I… I don’t know,” she responded, shakily. “This all… what if it works? And… what if it changes things? I… I can’t lose Morgan. I-I can’t.”

Steve came around and cupped Y/N’s face with his large hands. “You are not going to lose Morgan. I will not let that happen, I promise.”

“You can’t control that Steve… you don’t know… I’ve seen things. I know things… something’s still coming.”

“What do you mean?”

She shook her head quickly. “I can’t say anymore. I can’t.”

“Y/N—“

“Don’t push this, Steve. I…” She swallowed, getting a tad dizzy. She gripped onto Steve’s arm, trying to keep herself steady. “I… oh…”

Steve held onto Y/N’s upper arms, noticing that she was struggling. “Talk to me, Y/N. What’s going on?”

“Just keep me close. I’m not feeling so good.”

“Maybe we should sit you down in the other room.”

“No. I want to be here. I need to be here. Just wrap your arm around my waist and keep me close to your side. I don’t want Tony to worry.”

Steve gave in with a sigh before turning so that they were both facing the platform and wrapping an arm around Y/N’s waist. Everyone else was at the control panel and Clint was taking his position on the platform.

“Alright, Clint,” Bruce said. “We’re going in 3… 2… 1!”

A helmet formed over Clint’s head before he went quantum. That was the longest minute of everyone’s lives. Y/N could barely breath as she stared at the space Clint once stood. When he finally rematerialized, Clint was on his hands and knees, breathing heavily. Natasha rushed up the platform, crouching down and cupping Clint’s cheeks. Scott and Tony rushed up onto the platform as well.

“Hey, hey,” she called. “Look at me. You okay?”

Clint held up a baseball glove and threw it at Tony. “Yeah, it worked,” Clint said. “It worked.”

Tony smiled triumphantly, holding the baseball glove, as he turned towards Y/N. She was the only one that didn’t seem excited. In fact, her complexion was off and her breathing pattern had changed. Tony knew what was about to happen before her eyes even rolled back.

“Rogers!” Tony shouted, surprising everyone. “Get her on the ground and on her side. Now!”

When Tony had called out to Steve, that was when her eyes rolled back and Y/N began to seize. Steve quickly did as he was directed, already familiar with the routine. The whole team quickly surrounded them, with Tony and Bruce pushing to the front to help.

“What’s going on?” Thor asked, confused and completely worried.

“She’s having a seizure,” Natasha responded. “She had a car accident a few years back, left her with some brain issues.”

“When was the last time she had one?” Steve asked as he kept his sister on her side.

“Probably a little bit over a year,” Tony replied, helping Steve.

They all let out a breath of relief when she finally stopped moving.

“Let’s get her to her bed,” Bruce suggested.

Tony picked her up. “I’ll handle it,” he said. “I’ll get her settled and then we can figure out a plan.”

They watched as Tony carried Y/N away.

“Steve,” Natasha called gently, looking at her friend. “What triggered it?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” Steve asked, keeping his eyes on the pair as Tony walked away.

~~~

Y/N immediately knew what had happened the moment she opened her eyes. She was laying in her bed, all tucked in, and Tony was sitting next to her, reading something on his tablet.

“How long have I been out?” Y/N asked, voice slightly horse.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Tony said, placing his tablet down and turning to face her. “You had us all worried.”

“Sorry.”

“What happened?”

“I was just thinking about… well, everything… and I guess I stressed myself over the edge.”

“Maybe you should go home, stay with Morgan.”

“No. I need to be here.”

Tony pursed his lips as he studied his wife. He definitely didn’t like the way she emphasized need. “Why? Why do you need to be here?”

Y/N sighed and closed her eyes. “You know why.”

“No, I really don’t. You’ve always been so vague around your destiny and the Stones and shit. Just tell me what’s going on. What do you know?”

Y/N tossed her covers off and sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed facing away from Tony. “I can’t say Tony.”

“Like hell!” Y/N stood up, walking onto the balcony with Tony following. “If you’re scared of the Stones, no need. They’re gone, Y/N. You felt that yourself.”

“You don’t understand… Things could still happen and I can’t have more lives on my hands than I already do.”

“Y/N, what happened is not solely your fault.”

“But it is. I was tasked to save everyone. And I failed…I failed Wanda, I failed Vision! I failed Peter! And Bucky!”

“Bucky,” Tony scoffed. There had always been a question lingering in Tony’s mind, fighting for an answer. But he was too frightened to know the truth. Until now. He had to know. “Are you still…” He studied Y/N for a quiet moment. “Are you still in love with him?”

“Tony…” She tried to turn away, but Tony grabbed onto her arms, keeping her facing him.

“No, you don’t get to run away right now. I need an answer. If we’re going to do this, bring everyone back. I need to know the truth, once and for all. That I wasn’t the second choice, that I wasn’t just the only option so you went for it… So, tell me, would you have chosen me if Barnes was still here?”

Ending 1: It’s Always Been You >

Ending 2: I’m From Brooklyn, Too >

I hope this wasn’t complete crap. And I couldn’t wait to post this! I know I’m on a break, I just got too excited about getting to the 2 separate parts!

I would love to hear your theories/hopes for the endings! I would love for everyone to read both, especially because they’ll take on Endgame very differently!

Also, my tag list is struggling to work. So please be patient with me. Also, Chapter 140 did not get a tag list because tumblr is the WORST right now and hates me and kept deleting it. So, again, please be patient with me. I’m just a human trying my best.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

OUT OF TIME TAG LIST:

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#tony stark x reader #tony stark x rogers!reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #avengers endgame #endgame #marvel imagines #marvel imagine #tony stark #morgan stark #morgan stark x reader #morgan stark x mom!reader #iron man x reader #iron man imagine #tony stark imagine

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vespertineart · 3 years

Text

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'𝓫𝓪𝓭 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓲𝓽'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"𝔾𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕘𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕗."

Jotaro kujo x Fem! reader

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━…‥・

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Life moves so fast. Too fast, for your liking. Maybe it's because your childhood wasn't the nicest, so you have wallowed in the sadness it brought you too much that you weren't aware of time, or the fact that you were so wrapped up in one future, you thought your life depended on nothing but academic purpose. At least then. Or maybe it's because you never realized how much you've wanted to do in your life until three years ago. You're still young, though a young adult, and you shouldn't be worried about the consequences of things you never did. Though, maybe they would affect you later on.

It's always been overwhelmingly depressing when you realize you can't relate to that flurrery feeling every one of your classmates told you about when bungee jumping or simply touching a manta ray. Never have you had the chance to visit a very famous amusement park because of how expensive it was. All of that would make you the odd one out in any friend group, which is why you never bothered to start a close friendship with someone.

However, this year was different. Let aside the fact that you missed out on all your school year's material, you experienced something far more exciting than anyone's ever had. Your mind still finds itself boggled by the sudden event. One second you're with your classmate who you knew nothing about at the time, and the next he's in jail, and you're with his grandfather trying nag get him out.

You can't even bring yourself to comprehend how you even got a grip on the whole situation, how you managed to have yourself thrown into the formula, from going to Egypt and saving Miss Holly, to fighting Dio and even almost dying with Kakyoin and Avdol who are currently in different hospitals. It all still feels so surreal.

Unconsciously, as you reminisce, your fingers brush the large scar that lays unveiled on the surface of your forearm, reaching from your wrist to your cheek, a few scabs still blanketing random edges on it. Soon, your hands found themselves reaching your currently broken and cast ankle. Your crutches lay limp on your leg. Your skin is cold, and so is the wind hitting it. For May, this is probably the longest it has taken to become warm.

"Oi, yn." You're snapped out of your daze when a certain deep voice calls out to you, a coherent tinge of worry trailing at the end of the person's greeting.

The all-familiar, stinging scent of cologne immediately assures you of who this person is. You let out a sigh, dipping your head down, eyes closed, a delightful sense of relief washing over you.

"Hey, Jojo. Thanks," you greet as you take a weak hold of the beer can your companion bought you. After a while of shuffling, both of you got your backs comfortable on the strong walls of the school's roof, taking in the cool wind as it brushes through your hair. The sun is set, but there is still a bit of sunlight left, it mixes beautifully with the soft white streetlights and spots of yellow, red and blue in the far distance which homes and billboards emit. If you focus enough, you can see a light silhouette of hills.

Jojo. Jotaro kujo. You recite that name on your tongue every night, sometimes in fear you might forget it. Some of his admirers despise you for it. For having the advantage of calling out to him whenever you want and he'd answer you, and only you. Your classmates say you're extremely lucky, like you've won a million-dollar bet for being his first and closest female friend. He's never down to open up, but from your experience, he's desperate for any type of companionship. However, the so-called advantages were never what this was all about for you. If it was, you'd know barely anything about each other, and you're glad you could become more than just classmates after the whole Egypt thing. To you, his friendship depended and revolved more around trust and means of comfort than just mainly using him for safety and assumed attention. The fact that he's truly a hard to crack shell of a man—that you somehow managed to turn into ash the moment you told him to 'get the fuck out of the jail room, you look ridiculous' —never mattered to you more than how closer you wish to get to him. Focusing in front of you again you watch the colors of the clouds merge with the dark purple of the sky. The stars are already out, and a beautiful half-moon is shining brighter than ever. You pout, disappointed of the incoming inability to see it in full display due to the sky's current cloudy state.

"Old man called me yesterday." You turned your head to Jotaro, eyes immediately locking with his. Just the simple fact that both of you go out of your ways to fully focus on each other makes your relationship all the more mutual. Jotaro, especially, he's never felt as easy with anyone as he has with you, and kakyoin, too, but he'd never say it directly to any of you . At night, when he's lost in his thought, he finds himself thinking of you. How kind you are and how you never seem to see the bad in anything despite having a bad past. He'd never admit it let alone say it with his tongue but he tries to take advantage of that kindness, in a way to make sure nothing will happen to you. He can't afford to lose anyone else. He also doesn't know if the fact that he thinks of you is more embarrassing, or the fact that he secretly wants to let his walls down in front of you one day. The thought comforts him, but, as usual, he's too meek about it, since there were many times his 'kindness' would be misunderstood as romantic intent. Well, he's doubting that, anyways, specifically with you.

"hm?" you reply, taking a sip of the refreshing drink in your hand. Your fingers wrap around each other, holding the can in a tight and secure grip. You're prone to dropping your drinks now and then, so you found this to be the most practical way of 'protecting them'. Yes, you look stupid when you end up dropping them either way. You two always get a good laugh from it, so at least there isn't any embarrassment happening.

"He was wondering if you wanted to stay with us for a couple more weeks. Mom misses you already." Jotaro exhales, smoke filling the air around you and mixing with his musky cologne to create an unbearable scent you never wanted to forget. The mention of Mr. Joestar for the third time this month makes your eyes widen. It was all for the same reason too. You lived alone for a long time now, and you've gotten very used to the lonely and eerie feeling of your dark home at night. However, of course, after meeting the Joestars, Joseph couldn't possibly leave you without pampering you so much, especially after helping with saving his precious daughter. You were grateful. You always are for what he does for you, but just enough for him to make you basically live with him is something you can't quite afford. Not money-wise, it's just that you don't have anything to give them in return, and offering your life also meant living with them. The cycle goes on.

With a grunt, you twist your form to face Jotaro, your hands pushing hard on the floor to support your frail physique.

"Jojo...I really appreciate it, but I have things to do at my house. I need to clean it, take care of the food that's been in the fridge for almost a month now. Maybe another time, but I really don't want to trouble you guys like this. You've done way too much for me already," you excuse, trying your best to scoot closer to your friend. As a final task for the day, you set yourself up on your knees and wrap your arms around the much larger man, patting him on the back a couple of times before planting a heavy peck on his forehead. "And you can stop worrying about me so much now, Joot. I'm really fine, thanks to you." A warm smile graces your lips as you speak your soft words to Jotaro, seeing his panicked eyes slowly close as he scoffs, pushing you away and hiding his rose-tinted face with the shadow of his hat.

"I'm still walking you home."

As much as you want to, you can't complain with a broken ankle. Who knows what might happen if you're too slow with walking? Over his dead body will Jotaro Kujo let anyone lay a finger on you...

~~~~~~~~~

The slow crunching of pebble and dust under heavy boots and the repetitive melody of crickets in the grass is enough to get you woozy in the freezing weather of tonight. The wind started picking up a long while ago, and you fear it might get worse before you reach your home. Clouds are grey and dull as they sway in a quick pace in the blue-black sky. The vigorous rustling of trees makes your ears tingle. Your pores are open with sweat, the droplets slowly trickling down your face and quickly drying out. Your arms over your crutches, your stomach hurting from excessive contraction, your breath becomes heavy, and your chest begins to hurt. It's been well over 20 minutes since you guys have been walking, and you're starting to hate yourself for letting Jotaro deal with your snail-paced struggle on a day like this.

Without a word, you sigh, then slowly crouch down to reach the floor. However, from how your ankle is positioned, the momentum you pushed yourself down with was faster than you anticipated, and you gasp. Bracing yourself for impact, you let go of your crutches hastily, spreading your arms in front of you to prepare support. Your eyes close tightly and you clench your stomach, a second away from hitting the concrete before feeling a soft barrier holding you up. Slowly, you open your eyes again, to find none other than Jotaro, encasing you in his large, jacket-cushioned arms. Without a chance to react, you feel yourself getting pulled up, hoisted up a millimeter high and huddled in your friend's arms again only this time in a better position for him to be able to swing your legs over to the side.

"Good grief, woman. What the hell were you doing?!" At this position, you can clearly hear the growl in Jotaro's voice. Heck, his breath is right in your ear. Inevitably, you shiver, letting out a huff of air. You feel yourself blush out of embarrassment when he gives you a side eye and you prepare to find a good answer to his question.

"Sorry, I wanted to sit down a bit...I uh..wasnt expecting to...fall-"

"Whatever, just stop talking or you'll die. And you're freezing ," Jotaro interrupts, leaning down to grab your crutches, still holding onto you. His head rests on your shoulder as he bends down, his fingers curling with ease around the handles.

Still shocked from the sudden ordeal, you start shuffling in Jotaro's arms, earning a grunt from him.

"Stay still, yn, for fuck's sake!"

"I-I can still walk on my own, JoJo!"

Annoyingly, or rather, smugly, Jotaro ignores your comment, only dragging his disagreement further by hoisting you up further so your figure is tucked snuggly between his arms. This proves his previous comment of how cold you actually are, seeing as you immediately melt into his arms, eyes almost instantly closing as you sigh, taking in the comfortable warmth of the thick fabric of his clothes.

when you look back at him, you decide not to complain any more when he raises an eyebrow at you and lets out chuckle. You just stare at the fading stars, keeping the image of his rare smile in your head along your little journey.

As you space out, your eyes having no place to stay still as the clouds move endlessly, you shake your head, feeling the pain in the back of your head from how dizzy you've become. This world is too big for even eyes to bear. you let out a mall sigh, the incoming comfort quickly cut off as you gasp. A wet droplet found its way on your nose uninvited. You look at Jotaro, expecting to see his face dotted with a bit if sweat, but that wasn't the case. Another droplet, and a third, and soon you see one slip off from Jotaro's hat. Oh... Ooooh...

Oh shit.

You gasp once more, suddenly sitting up and causing Jotaro to retract his head with a grunt.

"What the hell?!"

"Jojo it's raining!"

"And..?! Jeez you overreact."

With a pout, you hit the top of your friend's head, earning a stutter from him.

"C-can you walk a bit faster..? I can't have you getting sick, " you complain, clutching onto the chain dangling from JoJo's collar as a way to nudge him into agreeing to your order.

"That's not happening, y/n just sit back down-" As if to mock him, the clouds let out a loud clap of thunder, The rain quickly picking up with the wind. As fast as this happened, you and Jotaro are now almost drenched in water. You cross your arms, looking up at Mcedgy with a smug expression on your face.

He sighs heavily, tugging the brim of his hat and letting out his famous

"Good grief..." before wrapping his jacket around you like a stolen package and trudging quickly. A few moments pass before he starts to run.

Surprisingly, your house isn't that far away anymore. You'd expect that from someone twice your height running. Currently, your friend is huffing, occasionally spitting excess water away from his mouth.

"We're here."

He stops running, just jogging his way around a building before setting you down on the floor, waiting until you regained balance to give you your crutches back. You hiss at how cold the air is, your body quickly shivering.

You quickly find your keys from your pocket before limping to your front door and opening it with a satisfying click, taking your single wet shoe off and stepping into your house, again, cringing because of how cold the floor has gotten. As you manage to trudge to pull a shawl you found hanging on a chair, you turn back to the door, facing Jotaro again.

"Thanks for walking me here JoJo. It was definitely a pain, I'm sorry," you apologize, a wide smile on your face, rubbing the back of your neck.

"It's fine," says Jojo, already lighting his third cigarette of the day and placing it between his lips.

There's a long silence between the two of you, the heavy sound of rain and occasional thunder being the only thing breaking it. Your breaths are heavy because of the weather, and you do nothing but stare at each other. It seems none of you want to turn away for some reason. both of you are worried for each other. It takes another while before any of you finally move, Jotaro shuffling off of the steps in front of your door and turning around with a small farewell.

You, knocked out of your trance, call out to him again, making him stop. Now in your garden, completely soaked, Jotaro turns his head to you. His cigarette is barely lit anymore.

"Umm...I just realized your house is too far away," you start, catching your friend's attention. He slowly walks back to you, shoving his hands in his pockets. He only hums in response.

"Uh...I just...don't want you walking all that way again, and further so why-"

"I'm not coming inside your house," Jotaro cuts you off, causing you to stutter and blink a couple of times. However, you've already made up your mind and there's no way you're turning back now.

"No, JoJo, you are, and I'm serious right now!," you protest, trying your best to sound strict as you walk to take a hold of Jotaro's arm with your free one and pulling him under the dry safety of your door. When he realized he stepped in with his shoes, he quickly retreats, pulling on his hat and looking away.

"JoJo...!"

Jeez, you're so naïve. Little do you know, Jotaro is only concerned about causing you any harm. He'd rather shrivel up and die from hypothermia than have you affected by him. But...refusing is never an option with you at this point. If anything, he doubts you won't end up following him until he's already at his own house, still trying to nag him further. He grunts, shaking his head then looking back to you.

"Jesus, fine."

Your face quickly lights up with a smile, and you drag Jotaro inside your house —with a limp—and make him take his jacket off. As much as he somewhat doesn't want to be here, Jotaro sighs in relief, shuddering at the warmth of your home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

{2901 words}

This is just something to start writing here. I'm not sure how to feel about it but I hope you like it lol, you can imagine what happens next. this seems very random and messy, which it is but I promise I'll come back with better content lmfao.

--Poppie

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canvas-the-florist · 3 years

Text

Not Very Realistic

Ships: platonic prinxiety, platonic logince,

Warnings: Car accident, injuries, PTSD, swearing, food mention,

Summary: Roman considers his feelings about his car accident. This is basically a vent fic about a car accident I was just in, I’m okay, but that does mean it will be extremely full of angst and if that’s not your thing I wouldn’t recommend this specific story. AO3 Link

Word Count: 2.5K

There’s something weird about trauma that Roman just didn’t understand. He knew that logically, that the car had crashed, but he wasn’t a very logical person. Even looking at the wreckage in full, talking about what happened to his family, part of him still refused to believe that none of it had happened. Despite looking at the cuts showing blood on his hands were right there as evidence. None of this felt real, but it was. How does he deal with that?

Roman ran his hands through his hair. It had been a few hours. His arm had gotten washed up. He was completely fine, except for a few bruises around his fingers. But was he fine? Roman had stopped crying a while ago and mostly just felt denial. Thoughts in the back of his mind were whispering ‘you wouldn’t crash a car, you wouldn’t make that kind of mistake’ and ‘you didn’t even break a bone, car accidents are worse than that.’ They were silenced when Roman breathed in, almost believing he smelt the smoke. Everything should have been fine, but he had gone and messed it up. He didn’t want to, he genuinely thought that things were going to be okay.

But they weren’t, and they aren’t.

It had been a few hours since the accident. Roman felt like he should be more phased. A car accident was an extremely traumatic event that he had experienced that same day! And all he could think about was the fact he couldn’t remember what it felt like. Roman knew what happened before; He was trying to make a turn on a green light and didn’t see the other car. And he also knew what happened after; calling Patton in a panic because he made a mistake he forgot that can just happen to anyone. Roman remembered the police officers and his family rushing to him, asking him what had happened, only for him to choke out that he didn’t know. He laid back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. Realistically, he had been extremely lucky and he knew that. Car related accidents kill so many people every day. And he just spent one afternoon watching his car getting towed before going home without saying anything.

Logan said that it wasn’t productive to think about how past events could’ve better played out. But, Roman wasn’t a logical person. He couldn’t help but imagine it. Replaying how he reacted. He could’ve been looking better, he could’ve registered how the fucking rules of the road work. Hell, he could’ve been quieter instead complaining about whatever song Virgil was playing on bluetooth. He rolled over to the side that was less hurt and took a breath.

Virgil. He bit the inside of his cheek. This entire event wasn’t okay, and was absolutely Roman’s fault. Virgil shouldn’t have been stuck with the consequences of someone else’s actions. Roman’s thoughts helpfully reminded him that he had been in an accident, something that his brain decided to forget to process once more. Roman felt so incredibly guilty for all the pain he put everyone in. He knew that he was hurt too, but did that matter? It was all his fault, anyways.

The door creaked open and Roman heard someone clear their throat. Roman looked up to see the other victim of the car accident. Virgil seemed tired and awkward in the doorway. “Logan made food. Said eating and drinking water can help with the effects of everything.”

“Okay,” The way his voice croaked out the word sounded like Roman’s mouth forgot how to form words and he hadn’t had water for a decade. He cringed at the sound of it. Roman started to say something, an apology maybe? But Virgil started closing the door. So he whispered another sentence. “I’ll be right out.”

Time and time throughout the day Roman could go from joking about what had happened, to feeling bad about it, to almost completely forgetting about it entirely. He felt weirdly guilty about his own emotions about it. Like he wasn’t reacting necessarily as he should. Roman couldn’t even tell how he felt about it all, he was just tired. Too much had happened and his body was tired of experiencing all these things. So it wasn’t, not properly anyway.

By the time the sun had set, Roman was sitting outside, watching the clouds go by, not really putting any effort into thinking. And still his mind was bombarding him with fear, pain, and guilt. So much guilt to the person in the other car, and to Virgil, who had to experience it with him. Mostly he felt guilty to everyone around him for having to deal with it because he was too busy being sorry that he couldn’t move or breathe. He wasn’t crying anymore, and his breathing was fine. But it didn’t feel like that. Should he be in more pain? Is that something that he deserves? If you’re going to wreck a car, why go for the simplest way to do it? Car crashes feel like a very dramatic experience so why does Roman feel underwhelmed?

Everything was too much or too little for his brain and Roman wasn’t sure how to handle it. He held himself with his arms, wondering why this had to happen. If he hadn’t been overly ambitious for once, this wouldn’t have happened. Right?

“How are you feeling, Roman?” Logan asked him. Roman had almost completely forgotten that he was there. Roman blinked and gave a huge smile.

“Well, specs, can’t say that I planned for any of this to happen.” Roman shrugged, his smile dropping as he looked down. His arms loosened up. Logan nodded, like he wanted Roman to open up about everything. Or maybe just to show that he was listening. “I was so sure that I wasn’t going to get hurt. Which isn’t true and I know that. Everyone can get hurt, I was caught up in some sort of main protagonist complex that I didn’t even realize that my mistakes matter. I fucked up and I don’t know if I can move on. My brain isn’t even letting me confirm that it happened, despite me knowing that it did. I blinked and the car was full of smoke.”

Roman laughed bitterly, and Logan furrowed his eyebrows in concern, but didn’t say anything. “I didn’t even register what had happened until Virgil told me to get out of the car. I truly don’t believe that I would’ve moved without him. Which is pathetic. I caused that accident but Virgil had to take charge of the situation because my brain wasn’t able to process it. And now I don’t know how I’m going to react to having to drive again! What if I fuck up and this time it’s even worse? None of this feels okay but I don’t know what to do…”

“Do you want advice?” Logan asked, calmly.

He decided to nod, focusing on trying not to cry instead of speaking.

“Alright. I believe that some of your thinking is similar to the cognitive distortion called ‘catastrophic thinking’. Catastrophic thinking is when after a person experiences a traumatic event starts reacting to every possible danger at the same level of the event they experienced. This is because it takes away the thinking that you’re constantly safe and not going to get hurt, so your brain is trying to make you feel safer by taking your ability to EVER get put into danger, which is not something that you can avoid.” Logan took a breath and stopped to make sure that Roman was still following. He was looking down at his fiddling hands, repopping his fingers repetitively. “You’re going to have to slowly break through this habit of thinking by giving yourself alternatives that aren’t just ‘safe’ or ‘dangerous’ because that is not how the world functions.”

Roman nodded, mostly to himself while Logan was talking. “Okay.” His voice was smaller than he wanted it to be but he was too tired to attempt to change that. Roman stood up shakily, not from the accident, but from his own fear enveloping his head. “Thanks Logan, I mean that, I really appreciate this. I’m going to try going to bed now.”

“Of course, Roman.” Logan responded, as Roman opened the backdoor back to the inside. He made no attempt to move, just watching his friend walk away from his sight. “I am here for you whenever you need me.”

As the door closed, Roman could see that the sky had gone dark as the sun disappeared.

Virgil had apparently decided to check on Roman one last time before going to bed. If him walking in after knocking a few times meant anything that is. Roman made eye contact with Virgil, wondering if that was going to be the end of their friendship. He would completely understand if it was, seeing as how badly everything had gone. Roman took a deep breath and got ready for any chastising that could occur.

“Princey?” He tensed up, waiting for Virgil to finish. “Are you okay? Today was… a lot.”

Oh, huh. “I mean, not really, but that doesn’t matter as much. How are you feeling? It wasn’t your fault that the whole thing happened. I’m so sorry.”

“Dude, I know you’re sorry.” Virgil stated, sitting on the bed next to Roman. “I didn’t ask about that. I know you didn’t mean to crash a car, that isn’t your thing. And the question was kind of a formality anyways. I just wanted to know if you were open to talking about it.”

Roman groaned. “All I’ve DONE today is talk about it. It’s the only thing in my head and my brain is still trying to convince me that it didn’t happen.” He fell backwards onto the bed, while Virgil watched him without a readable expression. “It’s all so much but also just… Just not. Y’know?”

“Yes,” Virgil said plainly. “I do know. Believe it or not, I was there. And I don’t blame you, man. You made a mistake. One that might traumatize us, but I’m not going to hold that against you. We’re both equally messed up here.”

The two laughed, and Virgil laid down next to Roman. Roman took a breath, something he wasn’t able to do when talking to the police. While looking at the ceiling he decided to think out loud. “Can you believe how many people honked at us when we got out of the car? I mean I know it was in the middle of an intersection but also the car was like half destroyed. The audacity is unreal.” He vaguely remembered hearing some of those cars stop to call 911, and the words of what they said echoing in his mind.

Virgil rolled his eyes dramatically. “I know. Two cars, one on the sidewalk and the other in the road after the car crash, how dare we be focused on other things than what everyone else needs to get done? I’m actually surprised how well we held it together for a while, before we both started crying on the concrete, at least.”

The room stayed silent for a while, both of them still processing what happened to them. Roman was tired of every moment of silence being interrupted with thoughts of the accident. He remembered yelling out as soon as he saw the other car and it was too late. One moment they were going to go shopping, and the next he blinked to see the airbags and smoke coming from everywhere. When Patton, Logan, and Remus arrived he was sobbing apologies into their shoulders, wanting to believe that none of this was real. It certainly didn’t feel like it. Roman wiped off the tears that were starting to form and looked at Virgil.

“How do we move on from this? This is just… So much.” Roman asked. Virgil had been in a few car accidents as a child, some better and some worse. Still traumatic.

“Well,” He started. “It took a while, and I mostly associated the fear of being in a car to the exact situation I was in. Like an icy road or something. But this just… happened. And there’s nothing we can do to change that. We… I don’t know what we’ll do, but we can figure it out.”

Roman tried not to look discontented. “That’s not exactly as well thought out as I would like, I kind of just want to move on. How can I focus on the future when every other thought is reminding me that we could have died?! We could have killed that person and our future and their future would have been ruined. I should’ve waited, I should’ve looked, I should’ve-!” He sat up, and Virgil soon followed. Roman wasn’t crying but he looked like he was about to. Virgil held his arm and he fell limp onto the side of his friend. “I just wish it didn’t happen at all.”

“No one wanted it to happen,” Virgil muttered. “It just did, and we have to accept that.”

“I don’t want to,” Roman complained weakly. “None of this is fair.”

There was no arguing that, and both of them knew it. Time kept passing by while the two considered everything. The topic could get distracted or happy, but eventually it would lead back to the car wreck. Evidently, it was going to be on their minds for a long time. Roman didn’t exactly enjoy the fact he couldn’t automatically move on, but tried to take what everyone had else said to heart. It was okay to acknowledge that the accident sucked without letting it control him, however long that took. Virgil left the room to sleep and suggested aggressively that Roman should do the same. He didn’t even notice that it was late until it was pointed out to him.

Lights were turned out, and Roman curled up in a fetal position under his blankets. He still felt kind of sore, more so than he did a few hours earlier. That also wasn’t fair, but whatever. Roman was supposed to be accepting things, so he could start healing. He moved around to try and get comfortable with little success.

Trauma was weird to Roman. One moment everything was fine until it wasn’t. One moment you could be having an entire mental breakdown over a small mistake with big consequences, and the next you’re under the covers like nothing had happened. But all of this was normal, and he was allowed to be like this. Allowed to react to the events that occurred. It would take a long time, and maybe that was okay too.

Taglist: @ghost-in-haunting @logan-sanders-enthusiast @imjustvibingyaknow @hailcap85 @brilliant-and-a-bit-mad

#car accident #food mention #sanders sides #roman sanders #roman centric #sanders sides fanfiction #emile writes #fake shitpost #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sander #remus sanders #police mention #ao3 #not very realistic

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icedthoma · 4 years

Text

focus

--Hello~ Can I get a scenario where the reader really wants to prank their boyfriend but also get a kiss out of it so they use their water based quirk to breathe underwater (something they haven't gotten the chance to explain/use before) so it makes the boy think they drowned and they underwater kiss him? Can be whichever boy you want. Love your writing! so soft and fluffy. makes me melt everytime.

Pairing: Todoroki Shouto x Reader

Notes: When in doubt, Todoroki. Always. Also I’m so happy you enjoy my writing tysm <333

“So much for training.”

“Like we were going to get anything done in the first place,” you said with a small shrug from where you were treading water in UA’s practice pool, Ochaco floating beside you.

“Yeah, I guess,” she agreed. “I feel kind of bad, though, lying a second time about the pool.”

“Iida does have a way with words.” Asui popped up from the depths of the pool with a small ribbit. “And he technically didn’t lie...”

“Keep doing those laps!” Tenya yelled at Midoriya and Todoroki on the pool’s deck, the three of them running up and down the dry area next to the water.

“I’m just glad he didn’t rope us into that,” you sighed, dipping deeper into the water for a split second and sending bubbles rushing out of your mouth before rising up again. “I just want to sit in the water forever.”

“You and Asui sure are thriving.”

“Mmm.” Your eyes flitted from your friends in the water next to you to the boys running laps. “Definitely.”

“My God. His eyes are up there you know.”

“Shut up!” you yelled, a faint blush dusting your cheeks as you sent a small wave of water crashing into Uraraka with a flick of your wrist, hesitantly ripping your gaze from Shouto’s muscled figure crossing the length of the deck. “I was observing their practice!”

“Whatever you say.”

“I made it,” Deku gasped, staggering to a halt as Iida finally announced the conclusion of their run. “Water--I need water--”

With that, he stumbled to the edge of the pool and toppled in with a splash.

Iida and Todoroki seemed to be relatively unaffected, on the other hand. “Nice job, guys!” you cheered, dousing them both with a cooling spray of water.

“Thank you,” Iida said proudly, hands set firmly on his hips as he stared down at the three of you relaxing in the water. “Though I cannot say the same for you three.”

“Come on,” you groaned, sending one last flick of water his way. “I did like three push-ups earlier.”

“She did,” Midoriya confirmed, resurfacing next to you. “I saw.”

Tenya sighed, his hand reaching up by habit to adjust where his glasses would normally be before stopping halfway. “Well. I guess it doesn’t matter if they didn’t do the warmup.”

“Warmup?” Ochaco asked in surprise. “That was a warmup?”

“I could use some warming up right now,” you said mischievously, raising yourself out of the water and pointing at Todoroki. “Care to help me out?”

Shouto looked at you for a few seconds in silence before tossing a towel at you and crossing to the other side of the pool.

You caught the towel and stared at his retreating back in bewilderment. You were just joking. Kind of. Maybe.

Ten minutes later you really were starting to get concerned.

“I don’t know what I did,” you hissed as you swam laps with Tsuyu. You could hear Deku and Uraraka yelling in the background as a heated race was going on a few lanes down from where the two of you were. “He’s been ignoring all my attempts to talk to him. Was the warm up joke earlier too much?”

Asui paused in her swimming to stand upright in the water, her finger pressed against her cheek thoughtfully. “Maybe he just wants to focus on actually exercising.”

“But I asked him if he wanted to race me and he said no,” you cried, splashing your hands around in the water below you as a way to relieve yourself of your frustration.

She patted your head sympathetically. “You haven’t done anything wrong. Just...don’t go to extreme means to get his attention, okay?”

You were going to go to extreme means to get your boyfriend’s attention.

You swam down to the very bottom of the thirteen-foot deep pool to think it over. What kind of prank would you have to pull that would grab his focus for sure? Maybe you’d even get a kiss out of it, if you were lucky.

The deep water was always where you felt most at peace, the quiet rippling of the water’s movements rushing past your ears and giving you stability. And breathing certainly wasn’t a problem for you. You had your little pocket of air down at the bottom of the pool that you had created. Every sound from the surface was muted, from the calls of the birds passing over head to the playful shouts of your friends competing against each other. There was a loud splash from somewhere up above, but you paid it no mind. Deku and Uraraka were probably racing again.

You wondered who Todoroki was cheering for.

A cold hand gripped your bare shoulder out of nowhere, and it startled you so much you almost collapsed your air bubble. Opening your eyes and whipping around, you were even more surprised when you came face to face with Shouto himself. He had a panicked expression on his face for the split second it took for you to look up, which was quickly replaced with his usual monotone one.

His grip on your shoulder tightened, and you realized that he had been underwater for too long. You quickly extended your air space to encircle his body, too, and watched as he sucked in air like his life depended on it.

Wait, it actually did.

“What were you thinking?” Shouto yelled suddenly, and you blinked rapidly in shock.

“What are you talking about?” you demanded, all your pent up frustration at how he wouldn’t just talk to you this whole afternoon flooding into those five words.

“Do you know how I felt when you went underwater and never came back up?” He frantically ran his fingers through his dripping wet hair, breathing still slightly heavy. “I thought you had drowned or--”

You cut him off with a burst of laughter. He watched you wheeze for a good ten seconds before insisting you tell him right now what on Earth you found so funny.

“S-Shouto--” you gasped, clutching your sides as the two of you floated thirteen feet under the surface of the water. “You seriously think that I, someone with a water quirk, would drown? In a school pool?”

“I-” His brow furrowed in the cutest way possible as you watched him connect the dots. “Oh.”

“I’m flattered, really, I am,” you said, crossing your arms tightly around your chest as you averted your gaze from Todoroki’s dumbstruck one, your giddy mood coming to a screeching halt. “But I only came down here to think. About what I could have possibly done wrong earlier.”

“What you did...wrong?”

“Why you’ve been ignoring me!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in the air--or, water--in exasperation. “Please just talk to me! Was it something I said or...?”

Todoroki’s cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink, so faint you could barely see it. He ducked his head down and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I...uh...I didn’t want to get distracted.”

“Yeah, but even when I asked exercise-related things you still left!” You were still so, so confused, but as you surveyed him, who was literally looking anywhere but you, a thought popped into your mind.

“Does being near me take your mind off of practice?” you asked innocently.

“No,” he insisted in vain, though the deepening blush on his face did him no favors. “I mean--not that I was--I wasn’t--”

You didn’t know what to make of this new Todoroki, this blushing mess that you were pretty sure had never been seen by any of your classmates before.

But you’d be lying if you said you hated it.

"It’s a shame it took me almost drowning to bring you back to your senses,” you said crossly, a mischievous glint in your eye. “I think you need to make it up to me.”

Todoroki arched a brow as the two of you drifted closer and closer to each other, the water seemingly nudging you together. He brought his hand to cup the side of your face and leaned in, his lips just barely brushing over the corner of your mouth. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

Closing the distance, you shut your eyes and kissed him hard, hands sliding up to wrap around his toned back and shoulder. His own hands were now planted firmly at your waist, his small sighs sending warmth ricocheting through your body at the slightest whisper of his breath across your skin. You beamed against his mouth and held him just a little bit tighter. You missed being this close to him. Sure, it had just been for just a couple hours, but you never wanted to experience those hours without him by your side ever again.

The two of you broke apart with a gasp. Todoroki’s eyes were half-lidded as he blinked down at you, drunk on your kisses.

“Take a deep breath,” you murmured near his ear, and once the two of you had done so, you collapsed the air bubble surrounding you and pressed your mouth to his once again.

It was usually a strange sensation for you to hold your breath underwater. After all, your quirk enabled you to breathe underwater, so why not use it? You had gotten so used to being able to breathe in water that it took all your mental energy to not take a breath right then and there.

You kissed with your eyes open this time. There was something exhilarating about knowing you had only one breath to use, only so much air to spare before you had to either come back to the surface or create another air pocket. You were kissing to remember this time, your gaze raking over the many bubbles flurrying in the small gap between your faces, to the small line of bubbles that had collected under Todoroki’s eyelashes and on his cheekbone. A line of sunlight from the surface filtering through the clear water rested over Shouto’s eye and nose, highlighting his narrowed eyes as he stared at you so intensely, like he was trying to memorize every last feature of your face.

Your lungs began to burn, and from the way Todoroki’s lips went slack against yours and pulled away by a fraction, he was running out of air, too. You raised a hand and the water pushed the two of you up towards the surface until you broke it wheezing for breath, hands still interlocked.

“You still thinking about practice?” you panted, mouth curving into an insufferable grin.

He shook his head, words failing to escape him at that moment from his lack of breath. The rest of your friends were shouting something at the two of you from the pool deck, but it was all background noise to you.

“Too bad. I challenge you to the race we should have had earlier.”

Todoroki huffed a laugh and pulled you towards the edge of the pool so the two of you could climb out.

“You’re on.”

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tbtssstuff · 4 years

Text

Personnel || jhs

Summary: Working at Hope World Inc. was enjoyable. Especially when the owner, Jung Hoseok, has his eye on you. After you hook up at the company party, Hoseok asks you to be his press girlfriend. What is a ‘press girlfriend’? You were soon to find out.

Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: Reader has such a thing for the way Hoseok smells, dirty talk, hair pulling, sir kink, manhandling, he smacks her in the face like once, oral (m receiving), face fucking, deep throating, Hoseok calls her a slut a lot, the reader is very obedient, loss of virginity with like 0 prep, very rough unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it y’all)

Masterlist

AN: This is like... my 3rd time writing smut??? Please enjoy?? 😅😅 I forgot while writing the smut scene that she was a virgin but even when I tried to re write it to fit it in it didn’t really work. I was so caught up in the smut I forgot a major plot point 🙃 yay me

-TJ/ TacoAdmin 🌮

“Okay see THAT!” You point at the TV screen. “How is that sexy!?”

You and your roommate, Jungkook, were watching Fifty Shades of Grey for probably the umpteenth time. Anastasia was nibbling on the end of a pencil and Christian acted as if it was the sexiest thing on the planet. It wasn’t sexy. It was gross. Who bites pencils?

Jungkook sighed, running his fingers through his freshly dyed hair. “You don’t think a lot of things are sexy, Y/n, but trust me when I say that it IS sexy. Like when Tae-”

“AAHHHH!” You shout, covering your ears trying to block out your best friend talk about his sex life with his boyfriend. It was the last thing you wanted to hear.

Jungkook and Taehyung have been dating for as long as you can remember. Hell they were dating before you met Jungkook in college. Taehyung was apparently a transfer student to Jungkook’s high school and after a science experiment went wrong, they have been inseparable.

Not to say they weren’t cute! They were probably the cutest couple you had ever seen. Taehyung was a hairdresser for one of the best salons in Seoul while Jungkook was a tattoo artist. Jungkook got his hair dyed for free, which he did often hence why it was now cherry red, and Taehyung got free tattoos. Small ones though because he was scared of needles. Poor baby.

Once Jungkook was done laughing at your misfortune, he placed an inked hand on your shoulder. “It’s okay. You’ll get there one day, Virgin Mary.”

“Wow!” You smack his hand away, revealing when it looked like it actually hurt him a little, narrowing your eyes at him. “Way to bring up my 23 years of virginess!”

“I’m sorry!” Jungkook howled with laughter, showing that he was indeed not sorry.

Jungkook knew that you had never been able to find that one guy that made you feel something other than annoyance. The closest you got to finding one was Min Yoongi, your coworker, and Jung Hoseok, your boss at Hope World Inc.

Jung Hoseok was probably the best boss you have ever worked for. Not only was he very easy on the eyes, but he also made you feel very appreciated. Something other boss’ you worked for never did. It made the three years you’ve worked under him the best years of your life.

“Hey.” Jungkook snapped his fingers in front of your face. “You listening?”

“Huh?”

“I asked if you were going to be home tomorrow night?”

You shrug, reaching for your phone, clicking it on to see what tomorrow was. Your heart dropped a little when you saw that it would be Friday the 20th. The company party was tomorrow.

Hope World Inc. had just gotten a huge contract and the CEO, aka Jung Hoseok himself, thought it would be a good idea to order as much food and alcohol that he could and throw a - mandated - company party.

“I will be here until maybe 6. Why? Special night with Tae?”

“Weren’t you the one that just tried to drown me out when I talked about my sex life?”

“Touché.”

“What’s going on tomorrow night?”

Jungkook was always the curious bug. Always snooping through everything and anything he can. Annoying at times, but when he looks at you with those big doe eyes, how can you say no?

“Do you remember Mono Corp.?”

Jungkook nodded.

“Well Mr. Jung was able to sign the contract that merges the companies by the end of the year, so he decided to throw a company party to celebrate.”

“But you don’t like parties?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you. It was true that you didn’t like BIG parties, but you never said you didn’t hate them in general. It’s just if there is a choice of whether to go to a crowded room with people you didn’t know or stay home curled into a ball and catching up on Friends, you were going to choose staying home.

“It’s mandated.”

Jungkook nodded and just left it at that. There really was nothing else to say about it.

“What are you going to wear?”

Well nothing other than that.

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.” You reach for the popcorn and shove it in your mouth.

It was too early in the morning to be looking at these spreadsheets. All the numbers seemed to jumble into one monster number. Jungkook unplugged your alarm in the middle of the night, he claims it was an accident, but you honestly think he likes to sabotage your schedule, so you thought you were running late and didn’t get any coffee. Turns out you were so early that you could have got coffee, but by the time you figured that out you were already at work and your favorite coffee shop was extremely far away.

Fucking thank you Jeon Jungkook. Prick.

Honestly it was good that you were here alone, otherwise you would feel so bad for the person that dared to invade your space right now.

“Oh you’re here early. Good.”

You looked up from your computer to see Jung Hoseok, coffee in one hand, bag in the other, coming into the main office.

God how was it even at 8 am he looked like he came from a vogue photoshoot? Not a strand of hair was out of place, his skin looked so smooth, he didn’t have any dark circles under his eyes, and even his navy blue Burberry suit didn’t have a single wrinkle. He was just perfect.

But even though there was a literal Adonis in front of you, all you saw was the liquid life in his hand.

From the smell of it it was a caramel frappuccino, with 2 shots of espresso, extra whipped cream, and chocolate shavings on top. Not your coffee of choice, but the smell of it just made your mouth water.

You could say you were a bit of a coffee snob, but that's neither here nor there.

Hoseok noticed the drool on your chin before you did. He knew you liked coffee, more than any normal human should, and from the look of desperation in your eyes he figured you hadn’t had your daily dose yet.

Well lucky for you he was an amazing boss.

“Do you… want some coffee?”

“What? No that’s your coffee.”

Hoseok smiles and places the coffee cup down on your desk. The smell was stronger now, even more mouth watering, but you realized it wasn’t the coffee you were now smelling. Whatever cologne Hoseok had decided to put on today smelled better then any coffee you have ever had.

The smell was so strong and smelled so good that all you wanted to do was bury your face in his neck. To kiss up his jaw to his ear, lick the silver hoop earring before you nibble on his ear.

“Don’t worry.” His voice broke you from your imagination and you saw him start towards his office.

“Drink up. I’ll just have someone bring me something later. Besides,” Hoseok stops at his office door, turning to look at you with a kind smile, “You look like you could use it way more than me.”

And with that he disappeared behind his door.

“A frappuccino? Since when do you like cold coffee?”

“Yoongi! Good morning.” You smile at Yoongi who was making his way to his desk, two steaming hot coffees in hand. “Not dressed for work as usual I see.”

Min Yoongi was never the sort of man to wear a suit and tie, so how he got a job here was way beyond you, but here he was - ripped jeans and all - handing you your favorite coffee.

“You avoided my question, Y/n. The cold coffee. What gives? You always said it was inhumane to drink it cold. If you want coffee it has to be hot enough to scold your enemies.”

“Wha! No! I never said that!”

“You say it daily, once you told me it twice. So I ask again.” Yoongi leaned in close. “What. Gives?”

You roll your eyes, pushing his shoulder back. “I needed a life line and Mr. Jung was nice enough to give me his coffee. So why don’t you kindly fuck off and let me drink more caffeine?” Yoongi laughs at your forced smile, but backed off nonetheless.

“Mr. Jung huh? You two seem… close.”

“I wouldn’t say close, more of I was here early and he took pity on me.”

Yoongi nodded but you could see how tense his jaw was, something he did when he was upset about something. You didn’t know why he didn’t like Hoseok, but it was a fact known throughout the company.

“You know he is a nice guy.”

“Some people say broccoli is a nice vegetable, but that doesn’t mean everyone likes it.”

“What? How does that relate to Mr. Jung?”

Yoongi shrugs. “He makes money, which is green, and so is broccoli. There you go.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Not a lot of things do.”

Yoongi sipped his coffee and logged into his computer, effectively cutting off the weird ass conversation you were having.

You shake your head. He was probably the weirdest person you had ever met and you knew Jungkook. Though no matter how much Yoongi jabs at you, you knew he had you back in almost every situation, provided that you were actually right. He would call you out on you bullshit.

Min Yoongi was a great friend and you really wouldn’t trade your friendship for anything in the world.

It was finally time for this company party and at first you were feeling alright to go, but now you were terrified as you tugged down your extremely short dress.

Something Jungkook insisted you wore. Just thinking about what took place just 40 minutes ago pissed you off.

You had come home tired and hungry, but knew you only had a short while before you had to prepare for the party. You quickly ate some leftover Chinese food and went to your room to get ready.

What did people wear to these kinds of functions? Every office party they threw was never mandated, which was why you were confused that this one was, so you just skipped them.

You skimmed through everything you had in your closet. Tight jeans, graphic tee shirts, pantsuits, but your fingers stopped at a party dress Taehyung had gotten you a few years back.

It was a white long sleeve dress that stopped at your upper thighs, the neckline plunged to meet the sash that was sewn into the dress. The reason you never wore this was that that neckline stopped just above your belly button so your breast would be on full display. Plus this was a dress that definitely required no bra so that just made it worse.

Taehyung had gotten it for you to wear to the opening of Jungkook’s tattoo shop, but it was way too fancy for that so you had opted for jeans and a shirt instead. He was so upset that you didn’t wear the dress he bought you and you had to promise him you would wear it someday.

Today was definitely not that day though.

Skipping over the dress, you pull out a tan pantsuit and a simple white plain shirt. ‘Work appropriate’ was really what you were going for. Jungkook had a different word for it.

“Oh my god please tell me you aren’t going to the party wearing that.”

You roll your eyes before going to the front door to get a pair of white sneakers. “Yes?? It’s a work party, Kook. Not a strip joint. I have no reason to dress up.”

“But there is no reason to look extra boring either. Please tell me you have something else. I beg you.”

“Nope, but keep begging. Looks good on you.” You wink and laugh as Jungkook’s face twists in disgust.

“Y/n you wouldn’t know how to dominate in the bedroom even if you tried. Even if you had the most submissive man in the would.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about our sex lives.”

“Well mine yes, but yours is nonexistent so it’s fi- Hey! That could have hit me!”

Jungkook had just dodged out of the way of his shoe you sent flying his way.

“Well then I’ll try to aim better next time.” You hiss.

“Touchy.” Jungkook slumped back onto the couch, accepting defeat and not wanting another shoe thrown at him.

Smiling triumphantly, you slip on your sneakers and open the door, but to only be blocked by Taehyung. By the looks of his raised fist, he had just gotten here. His pink and blond hair was tousled by the wind and he sported his usual Gucci everything. Taehyung always looked so good it was no wonder that he was the gayest man you had ever met in your life.

“Oh my god please tell me you aren’t going to the party wearing that.”

You scowl as Jungkook yells a ‘thank you’ from the living room. Jungkook jumped up from the couch and made his way over to the two of you. Smiling, he immediately places a kiss on Taehyung’s lips. You would be happy to see them so comfortable together if they both hadn’t just said the same thing about your outfit.

“Well just like I told your boyfriend here, yes I am. There is nothing wrong with this outfit! Now if you excuse me I’m going to be late.”

You tried to push past them, but Taehyung grabbed your shoulders, spinning you around and back into the house.

“Then you will just be late. I am not letting you out like that.”

And apparently you didn’t have much of a choice because not long after that Taehyung, with help from Jungkook, had you in that short white party dress with a silver choker around your neck, matching studded earring and necklace set, and a pair of silver heels. He had even taken your hair out of it’s ponytail, letting it fall down your shoulders before he curled it and did your makeup.

Honestly you looked stunning, but always being one to blend in with the crowd, it scared you. You really wanted to turn around and go home, consequences be damned, but you knew that Taekook would just send you back.

Taking a deep breath, you went into the Millennium Hilton where the party was being held, finally accepting - and grateful - that your friends made you dress up a little more since Hoseok had last minute decided to change the venue.

The Millennium Hilton hotel was just beautiful on the inside. Your heels clicked on the floor, which looked like it could be marble. Why did Hoseok decide to hold such a minor party in the fanciest place you had ever seen in your life? It seemed out of place to do so. Maybe closing this deal with Mono Corp. was more important than you realized.

You looked around the grand entrance, confused on where to go. All Hoseok told you was to be here instead of the corporate office. He really should have been more specific or you know not change the venue last second. Who does that? Jung Hoseok apparently.

“You look lost.” A deep voice said from right behind you.

You quickly turned around, losing your balance in the process (stupid fucking heels), but before hitting the floor and completely making a fool out of yourself, not that it could be even possible, a pair of hands found your waist, steadying you. Dark brown eyes met yours as you realized it was Hoseok who had caught you.

With him being so up close you could smell that damned cologne that he was wearing this morning; sandalwood mixed with a natural underlying smell that you assume was just Hoseok.

You vaguely wondered if he would smell just as manly fresh out of the shower. The water glistened down his chest, dripping closer and closer to his towel covered cock.

His fingers dug into your waist, slowly bringing you out of yet another Hoseok daydream, but quickly enough to catch his eyes trail down the open part of your dress. He seemed to appreciate the view by the way he bit his lip.

“Sorry.” You breathe. “I’m not used to heels.”

Hoseok chuckled, his fingers lightly moving to the small of your back, causing a shiver up your spine. “Then allow me to escort you.” You nod as he starts towards the grand ballroom.

It was quiet for a little while, which was almost unbearable, so you had to think of something to say. Anything! The weather? God that was so cliché. How good he looks in his suit? No way that would lead to a very different inappropriate conversation.

“So why the fancy party? It could have just been held at the office.”

Questioning his decisions. Great choice.

Hoseok grins, not offended in the least. “I know it was a last minute change, but I figured if I was going to make this party mandated might as well go big-“

“Or go home.” You finish. Hoseok’s grin grew, seemingly happy that you knew what he was thinking.

“Exactly.”

Hoseok opened a pair of double doors to reveal a gigantic ballroom. Crystal chandeliers hung all over the ceiling, giving off this almost unreal type feeling. Your co-workers were everywhere, wearing fancy dresses and tuxes, but they stopped when the doors opened.

All eyes were on you and Hoseok.

“They’re all staring.” You whisper.

“Yes.” He whispered back. “But they’re all staring at you.”

Before you could even get a response out, Hoseok released his light touch on you back, instantly making you miss his touch, and left to greet all of his guests.

You watched him leave, sad that he was going, but appreciative of how his ass looked in those pants.

Jung Hoseok always did something to you.

“Wipe the drool, y/n. It makes you look desperate.” Yoongi snapped from beside you, caused you to jump a little.

You flushed, checking your mouth for any drool (which there wasn’t, but whatever), before looking at Yoongi. Your eyes widen at the sight before you.

Yoongi’s dark brown hair was combed neatly to the side and he actually wore a suit and tie. Silver hoops hung from both his ears and silver rings adorn his fingers.

“You clean up nicely, Mr. Min.”

Yoongi scoffs and shakes his head, smiling nonetheless. “You can’t change the subject. You were drooling.”

“Was not.”

“You look beautiful.”

You expected him to continue bickering with you, but were thrown off by the complement. Yoongi wasn’t one to hand them out lightly which was why your heart clenched. Nothing else. Right?

“Thank you.”

You didn’t know what else to say other than that. Yoongi understood your awkwardness when it comes to compliments, secretly enjoying the way you got flustered. He extended his hand, taking yours in his and led you out to one of the tables.

“Shall we drink?” Yoongi handed you a glass of champagne. It wasn’t often that you drank, but this was a special occasion so you took the glass from his hand, throwing all caution to the wind.

After that first drink you started to loosen up a little. One turned into two and that quickly turned into four glasses. You were enjoying the dance floor with Yoongi, who by this point was almost as hammered as you, considering he found himself talking to the wall on occasions. He soon switched to just drinking water.

You swayed alone on the dance floor, eyes searching the crowd before they landed on Hoseok moving towards you.

His eyes were even darker than they usually were, they trailed down your figure causing you to flush. Hoseok was so blatantly checking you out and you were enjoying the attention.

“Enjoying the party?” He asked when he reached you, the smell of his cologne starting to over power you again.

All you could do was nod, paralyzed by his gaze and dazzling smile. “May I have this dance?”

While the sober part of you was screaming how inappropriate this was and how you should run the other way, the more intoxicated part of you that wanted to feel his hands on your body again was stronger.

Hoseok took your hand into his, placing his hand around your waist, and began dancing. His fingers burned your skin and the feel of him ignited a flame in your belly. Just being this close to him, no matter how inappropriate it may be and no matter how many people were staring at you, was intoxicating.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you how stunning you look in that dress.” Hoseok whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. Something he didn’t miss.

He pulled you closer to his body, his half hard cock pressing into your stomach causing you to gasp lightly. “And seeing you with all that exposed skin, y/n. You don’t know what you do to me.”

God of the alcohol wasn’t already clouding your judgment than Hoseok’s words and sent was. You lick your lips, feeling the excitement of his eyes following it. “What do you mean, Sir?”

Hoseok groaned. “Why don’t you come with me and I’ll show you?”

“Yes sir.” You answer obediently.

Hoseok grabs your hand and quickly leads you out of the ballroom. He heads straight to the elevator, pushing the button. Soon the doors slid open and the two of you were hidden inside.

The moment they closed you were on him, unable to hold back the need to feel his lips on yours. At first it was just all tongue and teeth, but Hoseok soon took charge by placing his hands in your hair, tugging it back so you could look at his lust blown eyes.

They held a fire that you had never seen before and honestly it turned you on. Just thinking about what this man was going to do made you ooze arousal.

“We aren’t even out of the elevator yet.” Hoseok tsks. “Such a desperate little slut aren’t you?” His fingers grip your hair harder, the action starting to hurt a little.

“Please. Please I’m so sorry.” You whimper.

Hoseok smirks, releasing you as the door opens to a penthouse. You didn’t even stop to think about how he rented this room out so quickly. You didn’t want to think about if he had planned to take another woman up here tonight.

He walked over to the couch, turning when he realized you weren’t following him.

“Y/n. Do you want this?”

You nod, almost too afraid to make a sound, but Hoseok shook his head.

“I need to hear it baby girl. Do you want this?” He repeated.

“Yes.”

“Then come here. Now.”

The tone in his voice had you obeying him immediately, rushing to his side. Hoseok loosened his tie before looking at you expectantly, smiling as you turn around, your wrist criss crossed behind your back.

It was like the two of you were in sync. Had been since the day you met, but now it was so intense yet comforting at the same time.

Hoseok ties the tie securely around your wrists, tugging them for good measure, before turning you around.

“On your knees.” He growled.

The wood floor was cold as you dropped to your knees before him. You press your thighs together, praying for some kind of relief, the throbbing of your pussy was too much for you as you whimper again.

“My little cock slut. Look at you, so willing to do anything I tell you. I bet your cunt is just soaking isn’t it.”

You didn’t say anything, only stared at him with wide and pleading eyes. Hoseok raises his hand only to bring it down harshly against your cheek, the force knocking you to the ground.

“I asked you a fucking question, slut.”

“Yes sir.” You whine, the ache in your cheek and the power he extrudes only intensifying your arousal.

“‘Yes sir’ what.” Hoseok hisses, bending down to grab you by your hair, yanking you up to meet his face, pulling a moan out of your throat.

“Yes sir, my cunt is soaked for you.”

Hoseok releases you before standing at full height and unzipping the fly on his suit, pulling down his pants and boxers just enough for his now fully hard cock to spring free. Precum leaked from the tip, your mouth just watering at the sight. You never before thought a dick could look this appetizing, but here you were just hoping he would allow you to suck him off.

Hoseok chuckled darkly at the hopeful look in your eyes, equally as excited at the thought of your pretty lips wrapped around him. “Go on then, slut. I’m sure you know what to do with a cock. I’ve heard all the stories about you.”

You wanted to question him about that, but right now you had a much bigger thing on your mind.

You got back up onto your knees, regaining some kind of balance before wrapping your hand around the base of Hoseok’s cock, loving the way he hissed at the sudden contact. He felt so hot and heavy in your hand.

You begin to pump one hand up and down his shaft, making sure to gather some of his precum to make your hand slide smoother and paying attention to certain things that made Hoseok’s face twist in pleasure.

Hoseok groaned the moment you leaned down and swirled your tongue on his sensitive tip, slowly pushing your head down to engulf his cock. The salty taste of him was something you found yourself growing addicted to.

Slowly you bobbed your head, your tongue tracing the vain on the underside of his cock. You got into a good rhythm, enjoying sucking Hoseok’s cock for all that it’s worth, but of course he had to show you that he was still the one in charge here.

Hoseok gripped your hair once more, one hand on each side of your hair, looking you straight in the eyes.

“Deep breaths, baby.”

Before you could even think to take said breath, Hoseok plunges his cock straight into the back of your throat, your face meeting his pelvis.

Uncomfortable at first, but after a few shallow thrusts and you relaxing your jaw, it got a bit more tolerable.

Hoseok grunts and groans as he continued to face fuck you to oblivion. He enjoyed watching the tears in your eyes and the spit bubbling at the corners of your mouth as you took his cock. His good little cock slut.

After a few thrusts, he felt himself getting close, his balls tightening in anticipation, but he wanted to come inside of your cunt not your mouth as tempting as it was.

Just as you were getting used to being a human flesh light the next thing you knew Hoseok had pulled you off his cock - thankfully allowing you to catch your breath, which the air burned your lungs from how hard you were trying to suck it in - and thrown over his shoulder, his hand pushing your already short dress up your ass and your lacy black panties down your legs.

You gasp as the sudden cold air from the room hit your hot cunt, a shiver running up your spine, but you didn’t know if that was because of the cold or all the possibilities of what was about to happen.

Hoseok tossed you onto the bed. Thankfully it was really soft, but the look he fixed you with was not.

“Strip.” He commanded and you were once again quick to obey him, taking everything off, starting with those damned heels and finally your dress, which luckily had a hidden zip in the front. You were extremely happy that this dress didn’t require a bra.

All while you were early stripping, Hoseok was as well. He had quickly taken off his entire suite along with his boxers. Now there was nothing stopping you from seeing him and all his glory.

You knew he was built well, but he usually wore bulkier suits so you couldn’t see the outline of his hard body.

You bit your lip, praying he would come and fuck you already.

Hoseok crawled onto the bed - a predator stalking its prey. His hungry eyes raking over your entire body, hands trailing up your legs until they were at your waist where he gripped them, pulling you closer to him.

You moan as his hard cock comes into contact with your pussy. You could just feel the head poking your entrance.

You wiggle your hips, trying to get him to just slip in already, desperate to feel him stretch your walls, but Hoseok digs his fingers into your hips causing you to whimper.

“Patience my little cock slut. You’ll get your reward for being so good.” He teasingly pushes his tip just in a little bit, enjoying the way you squirm and whine.

“Please sir! I've been good! You said so yourself! So please plea-“

Your words turn into a scream as Hoseok pushes into you, the pain was almost excruciating, but thankfully you were wet enough to help. You had forgotten to warn him that you were a virgin, so he had no way of knowing. You didn’t blame him, you blamed yourself and the alcohol.

Hoseok stilled while you adjusted to his size, but that was difficult for him because you were so tight and warm around him. He just wanted to ruin you. Pound you into the bed until you didn’t know anyone else’s name but his.

After a while all of that pain turned into euphoric pleasure. You squeezed your walls around Hoseok, pulling a hiss from his lips.

“Don’t test me baby.” He growls.

You moan, back arching into him. “Please Hoseok. Move. Fuck me!”

“With pleasure.” Hoseok smirks before gripping your hips harder and thrusting into you, you cry out at the feeling of him. Never in your life did you ever think you would experience this kind of pleasure before.

Hoseok repeatedly pounds into you, his own low grunts fueling your fire. You mewl and moan, raising your hips to meet each thrust. Soon the sound of skin against skin and your moans filled the room, Hoseok’s name seeming to be the only thing you could call out.

Hoseok lifted your hips at the perfect angle to that spot that just made you see stars. You moan loudly, encouraging him to hit there again and to not stop.

“Fuck baby girl, I’m close.” Hoseok groans, thrusting harder.

“M me too.” You moan, feeling the coil in your stomach tighten and tighten until it finally gave way, pushing you over the edge.

You scream Hoseok’s name, wrapping your arms around his shoulder, clawing into them as if they were the only thing grounding you to reality.

Hoseok hissed at the feeling of your nails scraping hair back and your cunt tightening around him, but he continued to thrust, helping you through your orgasm before succumbing to his own pleasure. He groans loudly as he cums, thick white ropes shooting inside of you, filling you up.

You both just stay like that for a little bit, all sweaty and panting. Hoseok eventually pulled out of you and you imminently missed the feel of him inside you, missing the feeling of being so full.

He flops down beside you on the bed, his eyes already starting to drop, slowly slipping into the sweet temptation of sleep. You chuckle watching him drift off, yourself not far behind him.

In the back of your head you had a nagging feeling something bad was going to happen, you had just slept with your boss, but that was a problem for tomorrow’s you. For now, sleep was calling your name and you followed it.

Tag List: @sunshine-procrastinate @sugalarity

#jung hoseok #jung hoseok x reader #hoseok x reader #jung hosoek smut #bts x reader #bts smut #bts x reader smut #hoseok x reader smut #jung hoseok x reader smut #bts imagines #bts imagine #bts scenarios #tbtsstuff #Personnel

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harrys-reverie · 4 years

Text

DOG YEARS // Harry Styles O.U.

PART 1: The Agreement

a/n: welcome! here is part 1 of my baby. I have been working on this for a while and I really hope you enjoy. Story is based off the song ‘dog years’ by maggie rogers, one of my favs. anyways, let’s get on with it! Any feedback, shares or likes are greatly appreciated! I want to get my work out there 🥺 ALSO PART 2 TMRW!

word count: 8k

STORY PAGE // PART 2 CLICK HERE

Take a look at it and really read through thoroughly. Don't hesitate to come to me with any questions, okay?" Eve, my boss smiled warmly at me as she handed me the stack of papers sitting between us. "I'm counting on you."

I nodded back at her wordless, feeling a bit uneasy but eager to give the pages a read. It was just about 9 am in the English countryside and the sun was beaming through the wood paneled floor to ceiling windows — giving the already bright room even more of an angelic haze. Dried lavender bouquets were placed among scattered piles of paperwork Eve had yet to get through. The cozy scent of tobacco-vanilla candles, signature scent of the Soho Farmhouse property were dangerously lit among heaving piles of paperwork. Overall, the room was the true essence of peace, yet I was feeling far from it as I held onto the paperwork Eve had just given me.

I wasn’t quite sure how I found myself in this position, not one bit. But here I was, having to scan over a fifteen or so page NDA for some high end guest who I was suggested to look after during their 4 month stay here at the Soho Farmhouse. It made little sense to me because I didn’t even know that was possible to stay here this long. This was a membership hotel not an extended stay home. I could only imagine the sort of prestige this mystery person had to pull this off.

I had only gotten the job as a waitress at one of the restaurants on our premises last month. Like whoever this mystery person is, I was temporary here too. I had just finished my university studies back in my hometown in California months prior. My nan who happened to live way out in the middle of England was extremely apologetic about not attending my graduation, and instead offered me a stay in England for 6 months. I figured I was in no rush to adult, and my parents finally obliged and I found myself on a multi hour flight here. The first two weeks in her house were enough to send me bat shit crazy, and I knew I needed a job. Unfortunately I wasn’t near the hustle and bustle of a massive city, so finding this job was God sent.

I quickly learned I was shit at waitressing. Eve took a chance on me and I knew she instantly regretted it, she was desperate to find an opening for something more suitable for me. I was desperate to take on any other role at the Farmhouse besides waiting tables — watering and maintaining the plants in the gardens, cleaning the stables, working the phones, or even monogramming our robes we give to the guests.

Fortunately for me, I agreed to this "special job for a special girl" as Eve quoted it, without truly knowing what exactly I had gotten myself into. Now here I was, knees dip in a situation that seemed like the most work of them all.

The wooden door shut creakily behind me as Eve stepped out to continue her role of head of the Farmhouse and prowl around the land to make sure everything was running smoothly. She had left me alone so I could read through the paperwork in a comfortable and quiet room. Really though I was feeling anything but as I looked back down at the legally binding pages in front of me.

"This Confidentiality Agreement is executed effective 3rd, of September 2020 between Colette Adkins (Party A) and Harry Styles (Party B)...

WHEREAS, Party A can not disclose any confidential information regarding Party B..."

My mouth partially dropped when I had seen the name, Harry Styles. Like, THE Harry Styles. What was he even doing here for four months, did he not have somewhere better to be? Like possibly in one of his many houses? He could stay cooped up in those mansions for months on end without having to lift a foot in the real world, I’m sure of it.

Unfortunately the countless numbered paragraphs under his name were more than confusing to understand, and there was almost 12 pages of them. From what I had gathered through a quick skim was that, 'none of this and none of that and none of anything' was allowed when it came to Harry Styles. I had to wonder how much terrible encounters the man had gone through in order to have to have so many stipulations when it came to just being in his presence

The fancy terms were hard to follow, and I found myself googling phrases I had never even heard of. I was now dubbed as a 'party' and Harry Styles being the other, and apparently from the looks of it Party A and Party B were two different levels of hierarchy. I had doubts that even Eve could properly understand all these 'guidelines.' I always heard such positive stories in the media about THE Harry Styles, that he was easygoing and friendly, a gentleman — this NDA said differently though. He seemed like a real nightmare. A nightmare I wasn’t sure I’d want to be working with for four months. Is his reputation just a huge hoax and he’s pulling an Ellen Degeneres on the whole world?

I knew most would find it foolish to pass up on such a opportunity, but if there was one thing I disliked it was being in situations where I couldn’t be fully myself. I was beginning to feel as if this position would be stripping me away of who I was and I’d just be some young girl at a massive millionaires beck and call.

On the flip side, it was a job after all and not every job was enjoyable. If his reputation held any truth, then this experience would be a breeze and I’d be stupid to not take it.

I reached for my phone at the bottom of my purse on my lap and clicked on Eve's contact to send her a quick text.

Colette: Harry Styles? This paperwork makes him sound like an ass. I’m not sure.

Eve: I'm coming back in to discuss this with you..

Just like that and Eve was already scurrying back into her office, a very serious look on her face, one of which I wasn't used to. I had a feeling she was just waiting outside the door the whole time.

"So what do I need to know? I mean, it can't be that hard...but...”I began casually, trying to understand what all her worry was for. Granted, I was just as much so.

She looked down at her phone that was pinging like crazy and then back to me. "It's not that it's hard, but this is a job that is strictly business. You have to live on premise in a 1 bed and 1 bath, always on the clock.” Oh.

"Not just that," Eve continued, "But, if anything and I mean anything gets out, legally there are repercussions. According to his manager, who you will meet — he's writing an album and has a few of his crew mates amongst the grounds in different cottages. It's very low-key, Colette. There's no room for a mistake or slip up."

Suddenly the morning sun seemed brighter than ever and I was squinting my eyes at her in confusion.

"So what, I’m basically Harry Styles little bitch for four months?" I didn’t mean for it to come off so harsh but I could see from Eve’s facial expressions she was a bit taken aback. Maybe that was a bad way to phrase it.

I was curious to know what my duties as Harry Styles' personal Soho Farmhouse assistant would be and if the tasks were just menial or true, hard work. I couldn't image it'd be more than popping up every hour or so with fresh coffee or tea, dropping off towels or bringing the cocktail bar on wheels over every once in a while.

"You know, I don't know," Eve laughed nervously. "It was a request from his management, he needed somebody to assist him with everyday tasks. So yes, maybe food requests and what not. He wants to maintain a low profile and if he's out biking throughout the grounds all the time, he won't have that confidentiality that he is requesting."

Oh, he got off lucky with not having to bike anywhere. If you know anything about the Soho Farmhouse, you know that it's hundreds of acres of land and to get anywhere on the grounds you had to bike there. Not that it was bad or anything, it was rather refreshing but could get quite annoying when you needed to be somewhere quick.

"Have you met him yet? Is he here?" I quipped in shameless excitement. It was Harry Styles after all, I couldn’t put a facade on forever.

Eve gave me a sly smirk, "He's incredibly handsome in person."

"No fucking way."

She put her hands up in defense, trying to reprimand herself and act more professional, "You know, I caught a glimpse. He had arrived only minutes ago but I hadn't properly greeted him yet. I want you to be the first one to introduce yourself..." She trailed off. "Any ways, we want him to be settled and comfortable first and I think a splendid thing for you to do is to bring him a robe and some coffee."

I felt my stomach tie into knots at her request and she looked back at me worried. "Well, just act casual," She suggested after I didn't reply automatically, almost as if she was reassuring herself as well. "There's a reason I picked you, you know."

"And what might that be?"

Eve grinned, "I think you and Harry would get on just fine."

———

I wasn't all to worried about how I would appear in front of Harry Styles. My fringe was a little all over the place because I didn't blow-dry it this morning and my blouse wasn't as ironed as it probably should be, but none of that mattered. I had decided to wait on signing the NDA until after I had met him and introduced myself. I wanted to make sure this job was the right fit for me.

I had his monogrammed fluffy grey robe tied up in a neat bow, sitting in the wicker basket attached to the front of my handy blue bicycle. To my dismay Harry's cottage was the farthest away and at the highest point on the premise, on top of the hill. So, it was a bit of a hike to say the least — I hoped that if I committed to the job that Eve would place me in a small cottage nearby to his so I wouldn't have to make this journey multiple times a day.

As I began the ride up the hill, I let my senses overtake me as I breathed in, listened and looked at the land that passed by me. Soho Farmhouse was one of the most beloved additions to The Soho company, an exclusive member only club made for the young creatives. To get accepted you had to pay a hefty application fee, be recommended by 2 existing members and do many interviews, but I reckon it's all worth it just for the Soho Farmhouse. I know I'd apply if I hadn't started working here. Forget the prestige Soho House's in New York and LA, this was the most beautiful of them all. There was something about the serene English countryside that blew all the others out of the water. The vibe was different, this was more of a retreat addition to the company, rather than the ones in big cities. When you went to those ones you expected overrated models and daddy funded 20 year olds. The Farmhouse was far from any of that.

The thing I liked most about the membership is that it isn't solely based on social or money status, although it may seem that way, but rather a safe haven for young individuals in creative industries. I had only been here for a month but have encountered endless amounts of interesting people, my own age which was a plus. Soho Farmhouse was the epitome of the ultimate British getaway, placed in the Cotswolds, composed of thousands of acred lands occupied by gardens and farm animals. The cottages, only 50, were each 50 yards distance from one another and faced views of slow running rivers giving you complete privacy. It truly is a scene out of a Jane Austen novel when you are here.

As I neared to the Farm Cottage on the very top of the hill, one of the biggest on the premise, I saw that there were 2 cars parked in the driveway. I became more nervous than ever, not so much because I had to meet him, but his management seemed even more intimidating. They were the ones who put that whole 15 page NDA together after all, and it came off pretty harsh. As I parked my bike amongst the two vehicles in the driveway, I kicked the stand up and grabbed the robe from the basket.

So this was it. I approached the front porch, the familiar creaky wooden steps of the cottages that felt so cozy were now being overtaken by fall leaves starting to pile up. Freshly cooled milk jugs were popped beside the giant wooden door — a small touch that we liked to do for all of our guests each morning. Using my foot I knocked on the door, my hands full from the oversized robe after all.

Almost as quickly as I had knocked, the door came rushing open and I was greeted with, well, not Harry Styles.

"Hey, I'm Jeff." He stuck his hand out, only to quickly realize my hands were full. "Uh, let me just take this for you."

"I'm Colette," I smiled back, handing him the robe that was keeping me quite warm being held to my chest.

"Come on in actually. I think you're going to be H's assistant throughout his stay here, if I'm correct?" I nodded back, quickly recognizing his American accent, like mine.

I allowed myself in. I started following Jeff to the front living area of the cottage and took a seat on the plush ivory couch. There was already an abundance of hefty suitcases and guitars scattered amongst the living room. The sound of a shower coming from the upstairs bathroom was where I assumed Harry may be.

"So, you'll be here checking up on Harry and all that?" He questioned, tucking his phone away and facing towards me.

"I believe so, I've never done anything quite like it before. Pretty nervous since it’s Harry Styles and all that. And you are?" I asked assuming he may be a close friend or a part of the band.

"His manager actually. And friend."

Oh. So he's the one who came up with all those rules and regulations? Maybe I should have been more enthusiastic answering his question.

"Oh, wow. That's great, sorry, I just..."I began awkwardly.

Jeff cut me short with a warm laugh, "Don't worry. We're like the same age, H and I. It's a great relationship we have but I make sure to keep him in line too and do what's best for him. Harry's a great guy, I promise he won't be overworking you at all."

"Well, I am very much looking forward to it. This opportunity is going to save me from being a waitress down at the Barwell Barn, now that is what I call being overworked," I joked nervously.

"You know actually, H is in the bathroom now. He's kind of had a tough day. I'll take the robe if you don't mind and then if you give me your cell I will text you with a later time today to stop by and introduce yourself," Jeff suggested kindly.

I nodded back at him, "Of course, I totally understand. It's been great meeting you, will you be staying here throughout the months?" I hated to prolong my stay, but I was curious.

"Only this week and then I'm back to LA, I've got my girlfriend back home and work waiting for me there. I'll probably stop by once a month though and check up on him."

"I miss California weather, I'm from there, actually. Just graduated university and I am visiting my nan here for a couple of months. That's actually what led me to this place," I spoke, becoming more and more comfortable with Jeff by the minute.

Jeff lifted his eyebrows, "I was wondering what may have lead you here. I was taken back by your accent...being not an English one and all that."

"Yep, this is a temporary thing for me, being here."

I didn't want to get too deep into a conversation or overstay my welcome so I stood up from the couch and offered my phone number as we approached the front of the cottage. Just as we reached the door, I heard the bathroom door creak open behind me. I wanted so bad to take a look and peak, but I knew this wasn't the right time.

“You know what," Jeff smiled, removing his hand from the doorknob abruptly, "Let's have a quick introduction now. Take a seat in the kitchen if you'd like, I'm going to make sure Harry's decent for you."

I guess I couldn't refuse to his request, "Sure thing," I grinned back, plopping myself onto one of the wooden barstools in the kitchen. Jeff hurried upstairs, I'm assuming following after Harry who had rushed up the stairs only seconds previous. I heard murmuring and then a door shut, leaving me alone on the first floor. Just me and my thoughts.

I didn't feel nervous at the thought of meeting Harry earlier, but Jeff stating he had a rough day and to come back later and now insisting I meet him, made me a bit weary of the whole ordeal. I didn't want to say the wrong thing or act the wrong way. All this time I was so caught up on what if I didn't get on well with Harry and didn't want the job, when in reality Harry could feel the same about me. I now felt an added amount of pressure I hadn't felt earlier.

Waiting around in the kitchen I couldn't help but notice every single candle was lit in the room. There was a surplus, way more than the standard amount that was placed throughout the cottages. There must have been a request for extra candles because the smell of tobacco vanilla had never been so overpowering then right now.

My thoughts broke for a moment, interrupted by a thunderous laugh coming from upstairs. The walls were thin in the cottages, floors too, so the echo of the laugh was booming. I felt a sense of relief to think that perhaps Jeff put him in a better mood, he did state they were good friends and all, and I knew that laugh didn't belong to Jeff. A quick stomping on the ground above me and a few claps, accompanied by more laughter echoed through the space. Whew, a rush of relief to know that maybe his tough day was over.

I looked down at my blue jeans, which I was now becoming self conscious of. Had I known when I arrived at 7 am this morning what circumstances I would endure, I would have dressed maybe a bit more presentable. And maybe I actually didn't like that I had rushed and not blow dried my hair. This is what I get for always sleeping in till 15 minutes before my shift and having no time to get ready.

I had no time to rethink and self criticize because I was overcome by the sound of heavy footsteps stomping down the stairs. My heart was racing, mouth a little dry, because I only heard one pair of footsteps. Fuck, I really hoped it be Jeff.

"Where are ya hiding, love?" A thick British accent hollered. "Ah, there ya are."

I turned to look at him, putting all my focus on the tall, tattooed man making his way over. I instantly felt something in my gut burn, in the good way, but not the good sexual way. A different type of good. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe everybody feels this way when they see Harry Styles, he is gorgeous after all, and it's so weird to see someone in real life you've only ever seen in pictures. I knew I'd be crazy to insinuate anything but the way he looked at me — almost like he was taken aback or expecting something or someone else. I assumed myself crazy to think he'd even give me a second look, I was just here to supply him with more candles and drop off food. I stood up quick, walking closer and meeting him halfway.

"I'm Colette, very nice to meet you," I brought out my hand to meet his.

"Pleasure. I'm Harry."

He was wearing plain jane grey sweatpants and a cotton white tee shirt, hair sopping wet, looking marvelous. It was casual and a very toned down look, night and day from the outfits you see him in on all the tabloids. No bright colors or funky patterns, no Gucci emblems, just simple, cozy attire. He looked so human. I think sometimes it’s easy to believe celebrities are so much larger than life, but he was just a person after all.

"Now," He began, putting his thumb to his chin and looking off, " 'M gonna need ya to fetch me twenty silk infused towels, the finest coffee grounds ya got and uh..."

He began laughing...at his own joke, not able to even finish his sentence. I too laughed with him, nervously though. It probably was funny in normal circumstances, but I could barely even process anything right now.

"Look, don't be so worried. Jeff's up there doing all kinds of things, he wanted me to come say hello. You seem lovely and I promise to be low maintenance. This wasn't even my idea, if I'm being honest..." Harry began to ramble.

"Buuuuuut," He added with a huge grin, "Looking forward to having ya on the team, Colette. Would you like to sit down for some tea, coffee?"

"Shouldn't I be making some tea or coffee for you?" I insisted with a small smile.

"Please," He scoffed, already heading towards the kettle. "Take a seat. Your cheeks look red, it's bloody cold outside, plus, I hear you're from California, so you're probably freezing."

"You're right on that one."

"What brought you here?" He questioned, genuinely seeming interested. He had his back turned to me as he rummaged around with the kettle.

"If I'm honest," I started embarrassingly, "I just didn't want to fully 'adult' yet. I graduated college and just wanted to get out and explore a little before committing to the adult lifestyle. My grandma lives just 10 minutes from here, so..."

"Smart choice. You're lucky to have that luxury of choosing to not commit to 'adulting' right away," He chuckled, turning to me to put adulting in quotation marks. I couldn't help but stare at him, he was not sore on the eyes at all. He was so kind, welcoming, a true gentleman. He had even welcomed me on 'the team' which was a promising sign, I wanted now more than ever to just sign my name and rights away on that stupid NDA. Whoever made that document up, must've been somebody higher up who didn't understand what having human connection is all about.

"Listen," Harry started, grabbing the two steaming cups and taking a seat across mine at the kitchen table. "I'm glad you're here. Promise to make your time here enjoyable as possible."

"The same for you," I replied quickly. "Obviously, that's what I'm here for."

He let out a small grin, glancing down at his cuppa. "I know ya had to sign one of those fancy documents."

"Haven't yet," I joked back. I already felt a lighthearted and friendly vibe from Harry, as if talking to an old friend I hadn't seen in months.

Harry quirked his eyebrow up with a smirk, "Why's that?"

"Wanted to make sure we'd get on or whatever. Couldn't work for a complete dick — excuse my language."

"I guess that's up to your own interpretation. But I have a feeling you'll be sticking around."

“Are you that sure of yourself?”

“Oh yeah,” He grinned proudly

We both laughed and then silence. An awkward beat passed by, I was looking down at the creases in the wooden table but I could feel his gaze burning. When I looked back up, he was fiddling with the rings on his fingers, shuffling them up and done. Might I add he had a ring for every single finger, minus two. Some were filled with bright gem stones, two of which were compromised of his initials H and S.

"Well, back to business," He awkwardly coughed. "What I was saying is that, I know in that document it said we can't exchange personal numbers. But I really can't be bothered to go thru Jeff to text you what I need 24/7. Soooo...can I trust you with my precious mobile number?"

He was obviously joking because a huge smirk was plastered on his face, his teasing face met mine. It was clear from these few minutes of knowing him, that he couldn't care to take everything too seriously.

"If you could ever so grant me with your sacred number, I'd be honored. Just give me a ring whenever you need me to draw a warm bath for you Mr. Styles."

"Hmph," He tugged at his lip with a smile. "Sounds good, now please, don't blow me up tooooooooo much."

“You afraid I might get all clingy?”

He rolled his eyes playfully, as if he’s dealt with something like that before. The two of us then exchanged contacts, casually sipping on our tea which he made fabulously, might I add. Jeff soon came back down to join us and the three of us talked amongst one another for 10 minutes or so before Harry's phone started buzzing.

"Ah fuck," He mumbled, Jeff peered over Harry’s shoulder to grab a glance at his phone and his face fell as well. The two of them stared for a second at whatever may have been on the screen, I could only imagine what it may have been. I'd never dare to ask.

"Right well, I've got some uh, stuff to take care of," Harry sighed, meeting my gaze. He looked obviously uncomfortable, almost sad. I smiled a bit too hard back at him, trying to lighten the mood since it seemed to go down quite drastically. I realized not even a second later the smile wasn't necessary because he didn't really reciprocate it. Now I just felt like a pansy.

"Let me uh, drive ya back to the front. It's cold and that's a long haul on a bike, I'd feel like a dick to let ya bike down there with these winds," Harry insisted, beginning to stand up. I couldn't let him do that though, I knew his mood was back down in the tank for whatever reason. I didn't want to have him drive me all the way back down to the front and inconvenience him, after all I was supposed to be tending to him, not the other way around.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I actually have to return the bike to a guest," I lied looking down at my phone. "Like right now, actually. Right now."

I was completely lying but I knew he couldn't refuse that and I didn’t want to have him pry anymore. I quickly rushed to the front door, Harry and Jeff following behind my footsteps.

"So very nice to meet you both once again, just give me a ring if anything is needed. I'm on call," I cheered awkwardly, pointing at my cellphone.

"Bye Colette, great meeting you," Jeff spoke up as I opened the door.

"A pleasure!" Harry called after me, as I rushed my way down the front steps of the deck. I scurried out so fast, you'd had thought I seen a ghost. Just like that, I was back on the handy blue bicycle again, wind rushing in my face, ready to sign those papers and officially take the job.

----------------------

It was close to 9PM as I was just finishing up setting up my temporary home on the premises in order to take on my new position. It was small, like the smallest cottage on the whole grounds. I didn't complain though, I was on a meal plan and had infinite variations of body washes to try out, so I was pretty content with my situation. Unlike I had requested, I was quite a distance away from Harry's cottage on the hill, so I'd have to continue those tedious bike rides back and forth very frequently.

I hadn't heard from Jeff or Harry ever since I had departed them this morning. Eve assured me that they were just settling in and that I should do the same. Eve had drove me over to my nan's house where I announced the good news to her, I think she was just thrilled to have her house back to herself for a little. I did happen to have a habit of never putting my dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and I didn't get on quite well with her two cats. So, I packed up an abundance of clothing and some essentials that I figured would be needed, I didn't overdo it though, I was only a couple miles down the road if I needed more.

I had taken a steaming bath, with all the windows open, my view was the running river in the back. Lit up lantern adorned the back garden and it felt like the epitome of autumn, my favorite season. I wasn't a huge fan of the tobacco vanilla candles, so I opted for the fall fragranced ones. I texted a few friends back home, letting them know to call me back whenever they had a chance, I was eager to let them know of my new position. Then I had a reality check where I realized I probably signed all those rights away in that NDA I never fully looked over.

So it was just me drowning in my thoughts, in a super oversized tin bath tub. I was more focusing on if I'd be busy at all tomorrow or if I just had all the time to myself in my new little home, and if so, what would I do? Should I start to Amazon prime myself some books or start a new series on Hulu? It was exciting, I was literally getting paid around the clock to just sort of wait for a request from Harry. I don't think I could have ever dreamt of a more better way to spend my months here in the English countryside.

Unfortunately, things were going too good too soon. I should've known that when Eve insisted she pay me around the clock that there was a reason. The slight vibration coming from my phone broke me out of my thoughts.

Jeff: Hey Colette. I know it's starting to get late, but we have a few friends at Harry's cottage here and it'd be awesome if you can bring the bar cart on over. Within the hour would be best. Thanks!

Fucking hell, not the bar cart. I had just gotten into my cozy PJs and was about to lay down to get an early's night rest —I guess that will not be an option tonight. The bar cart was one of the biggest pains in the ass, right alongside the breakfast cart. These carts where actually bright blue vintage-like vehicles, that are specially requested to the cottages. You drive them up, park them and hang out in the back of the cart and cater to whatever the guest of the cottage wants. They get hammered, you watch — exciting. For a full hour usually, and even more if they have the money to keep it past just one hour. I had never had the pleasure of taking on this role, but from what I heard, it was the worst of them all. I wasn't even trained for this, I could barely make a decent vodka soda, and now I have to go on up there and make a bunch of fancy drinks.

I started dialing Eve's number as I approached the bathroom to make myself somewhat presentable.

"Colette, what's up?" She spoke lazily on the other line.

"Jeff said Harry is requesting the bar cart to be brought up, isn't it too late?" I asked with a hint of annoyance.

"Oh, no. Not for Harry Styles darling.. I'll call up someone to drive it up, can you just be there when it arrives so you can cater and make the drinks?"

I rolled my eyes, there was no way of getting out of this and I suppose I was getting paid for a reason. "All right, I'll be there."

"Don't seem so down, people will kill for this opportunity," Eve quipped. "Now I got to tend to my children, shoot me a text if you need anything."

As soon as the call ended I began to freshen up and look somewhat presentable. Eve had requested someone to bring up the bar cart, and I'm sure she explained it was an ASAP type of request and I'd probably have to bike over as soon as possible.

I threw on a pair of jeans with a slouchy white tee shirt and a parka. I walked out and it was fucking crispy out, like I could totally see my breath when I breathed out. I wasn't so used to this weather in Southern California and I didn't know it would get so cold so soon here, it was September for fucks sake.

Hopping on the bike I began my journey up to the top of the hill. Despite the sky being so dark, the premise was brightly lit with a bunch of light posts. Opened cottage windows shined brightly onto the cobblestone, guiding me through. It almost felt like this place was a safe, utopian village where time stopped. It was everything you imagined when you thought of the English countryside and I was becoming more in love with it each day.

I could hear laughter and cheers become more apparent as I began to reach Harry's cottage. Of course, the lovely blue bar cart was already parked in the road approaching the driveway. Eve really wasted no time at all when it came to catering to Harry Styles, I had never seen her so on top of things before.

"Hiya Colette," Michael, one of the porters who worked here waved at me as I went to approach the cart.

"I'm assuming you are the one who brought this on up here, are you staying?" I asked, hopping off my bike and planting it along the side of the vehicle.

Michael had a tight lipped smile splashed on his face, "Unfortunately, I am needed elsewhere tonight. Aaaaaandd... I kinda don't have a way back down to the main area so I'm going to need that bike of yours."

"Uh-uh, no way am I going to be held responsible for driving the cart back down after all this," I spoke back, pointing at the brightly lit up cottage in front of us.

"Just ring the front desk later, get somebody to ride up on a golf cart. We'll leave the bar cart here till morning, don't worry."

I gave him a harsh glare but allowed him to take my precious bicycle. "Good luck," He laughed as he started pedaling down the hill.

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled to myself as I opened the back door of the cart, stepping up into the platformed area where a slew of alcohol bottles and mixers awaited me. Lucky for me there was a handy dandy drink recipe book laying around. I figured it would give me a rough outline for all these fancy drinks these fancy people would be ordering.

I grabbed my phone from my back pocket to shoot a text to Jeff announcing my arrival and that I was ready and waiting.

Colette Adkins: Hey Jeff. I'm here, pretty quickly too. Whenever people are ready they can come on out! :)

I hit 'send' and then took a quick look around to see what I was dealing with. A small opening with a wooden table was attached to the side, so I could hand over the drinks and they could order. Theoretically, this was a cute and great idea. Realistically, it was a total pain — not to mention very breezy. There was no sort of heating going on and I was so thankful I had chosen my giant parka in this moment.

The bottles to the right of me were adorned beautifully amongst one another, only the best of the best I presumed. I wasn't a huge drinker, I preferred a glass of Trader Joe's wine or an occasional white claw — mango flavored, of course. Did they even sell those here? Hmm, had to look that up when I got back to my room.

"Oi, oi!" A deep voice shouted out, happily walking down the driveway to my cart, arm wrapped around a beautiful blonde. Oh, so he has a girlfriend too? Harry strutted out from the house looking majestic, hair blowing in the wind with a big award winning grin. Jeff and another man with long hair tied up in a ponytail were following closely behind laughing and taking sips out of their crystal glasses.

I couldn't help but think that Harry looked extremely overjoyed, a huge difference from how I had left him earlier today. He wore a bright blue sweater with a baby chick on it and creme flowing pants — it definitely made a statement. And by the way he swayed when he walked, he was probably a little drunk, if not more.

As he approached me, his arm unravelled from the girl beside him and instead he plopped his elbows up on the wooden attached table and let his face fall into his tattooed hands. I couldn't help but notice a fresh coat of baby blue paint on his nails, sloppily done — I'm assuming done by him.

"So..." He trailed off with a beaming smile. "What are ya whipping up tonight Miss. Colette?"

I chuckled back at him nervously, 'not shit' I thought to myself. Maybe he'd be too drunk to notice how terrible my bartending skills will be.

"Oh and this, this lady right here is my lovely 'real world' assistant, Jamie. She's great," Harry added eagerly, gesturing towards the stunning blonde and bringing her back close to his side.

"Lovely to meet you both," I chirped. Jamie shot a smile back at me and reached out her perfectly manicured hand to me.

"Pleasure," She drawled with a thick London accent.

"We've been drinking a lot already but I think 'm down for some shots, yeah?" Harry called out to his small entourage surrounding the bar cart. Everybody laughed and I managed to throw a little wave to Jeff. I was relieved that it was only the four of them, I could only hope nobody else would show up. The smaller the crowd, the better.

"Well," I started, "I'm actually not a bartender and I have no idea what I'm really doing. A shot would probably be your best option, I can definitely fix that up for you."

"Pour it up then!" Harry exclaimed. "You got some tequila in there?"

I took a quick look to my side at the selection of alcohol, we had tons of varieties of almost everything. I mean it was quite an impressive collection for a little bar cart.

'Let me uh, actually, do you mind if I hop up in there with you?" Harry asked inquisitively, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. His eyes were glossed over with pleading eyes, lips pouty pink and his hair disheveled. I knew I shouldn't let him, Eve would have a fit if she knew he was coming up to try and make his own drink. Eve would also have a fit if I said 'no' to Harry Styles, though.

I didn't have much time to answer because Harry was already hopping up the steps and trying to make space for himself in the small little enclave inside the wagon. I couldn't help but get a whiff on his divine cologne, it smelled so musky and cozy — manly, but not too much. I looked down and Jeff, the pony-tailed man and Jamie were having their own sorts of conversation amongst themselves paying no attention to Harry and I, they were probably used to his drunken behaviors.

"So, what we do we have here, hmm?" Harry glanced over at the alcohol options. "You reckon you can make me one of those Rusty Nail drinks they make over at the Soho House in New York?" He put on a serious face, looking at me inquisitively before letting out a small laugh.

"I don't have an actual clue on that one," I laughed, knowing he was most likely not being serious. "Didn't even know a drink could be referred to as a Rusty Nail?"

"Indeed there is a drink called the Rusty Nail."

"Sounds terrible."

"I beg to differ, buuut, a tequila shot will have to subside. Casamigos?" Harry questioned, picking up the clear bottle and raising his shoulders at me suggestively. Oh, oh...so he wanted me to take a shot with him? That was a big no.

"You want me to take a shot with you?"

"Why fuckin' not? It's a celebratory night and it wouldn't be fair for you to stay sober whilst we're all getting hammered, eh?"

He was very considerate, friendly, too friendly. Like definitely doesn't know the fine line between business and friendship and I was strictly on the business side.

"I guess I'm a little cold, maybe a shot would warm me up..." I bargained, looking at the bottle and back to Harry's face, it was hard to say no to a grown man with a baby chick sweater.

"Aha!" He exclaimed, "Now everybody, come take a shot with the lovely Colette and I!"

I gave a look to Jeff worriedly, feeling as if he was going to reprimand me for agreeing to do this, but instead he waved his hand shaking the whole thing off with a laugh. Harry grabbed the very, very expensive shot glasses all in one hand impressively, I closed my eyes afraid he might drop one. With a hard ding he somewhat arranged them in an even line, sloppily filling them all up to the brim.

"Tonight," He began happily. "We celebrate a new era...new songwriting, new ideas...a much needed break." Everybody nodded their heads silently in agreement. "Mitch, my best and most talented pal, happy to have ya here with me. Jeff, can't believe you're leaving me for Glenne in LA, I hope she says, 'yes.'" Jeff raised his shot glass up laughing. I too held one in my hand, was there such a thing as a dramatic toast followed by a tequila shot? I suppose, in the lavish world of Harry Styles and company there was.

"Jamie, you're bloody great but get back home to that husband and child of yours in London. Enjoy some well deserved time off. And..." Harry turned to face me, "Colette, I already know you are a great addition to the team. Looking forward to seeing you show up at my door with an abundance of those fresh candles every week...cheers!"

The four of us raised our shot glasses and downed them quickly, the burn of the liquor tingling my tongue and throat. Holy shit, I had not had a tequila shot in so long I forgot just how gross they were. I let a little cough out as the tequila sank in, the warmth itching my throat.

Harry turned to me looking down, "What do ya say we sneak a couple bottles and just head into the cottage? Its cold out here."

"Not sure if that's allowed..." I started.

"Fuck it. Come on, grab your favorite one," He insisted, pointing to the bottles. "Let me guess you probably like them white claws or whatever."

"How'd you know?" I deadpanned pursing my lips.

"You Americans really have a huge thing for those, they're shit by the way," Harry teased.

"No they're not! They're delicious...especially the mango ones or, hey, have you tried the watermelon ones?"

Good one Colette, smooth, nice, funny, never been done before. I wanted to face palm myself in that moment. Harry snorted at my little joke though, so it couldn't have been that bad.

"Very funny you. Okay so, vodka?" He questioned, wrapping a few bottles in his arm. "Don't even answer that because it's what you're getting," He added jokingly. I didn't even have the heart to tell him I hated straight vodka because it was quite endearing the way he was trying so hard to be all inclusive. With the bottles in his arms, he teetered out of the bar cart, me following behind.

"Oh, Colette, come here!" Jeff insisted, waving at me. I walked up to him as he embraced me for a quick hug, I could tell he too was plastered. "This is Mitch. He's Harry's guitarist, super cool, one of us."

I switched my gaze to Mitch, the mysterious ponytail man. "Nice to meet you," He said shyly.

"You as well!" I said back cheerfully. I had barely eaten a thing today and just that one shot had created a small amount of excitement in me that wasn't there when I had first arrived.

"He'll be staying here with Harry, so I'm sure you'll be getting to know him some more. What do you think of Harry so far though?" Jeff asked inquisitively. We were all making our way up the driveway, Harry and Jamie were already inside.

"I mean, wow, he's great. Didn't really expect him to be so welcome and inclusive, if I'm honest. Can't help but think I'm overstepping my boundaries a little," I replied worriedly.

Jeff brushed it off casually, it was just now me and him on the front deck, everyone else was already inside. "That's just how Harry he is, he is just nice like that. I hate to try to be serious and all right now but, Harry's going through a bit of a tough time. This is his getaway for him, you know? He feels uncomfortable with the fact that you're here at his beck and call these upcoming months...so he is trying to make you see that you're now a part of his circle."

"Oh, wow." I didn't really know what to say. I'm assuming Jeff is probably that super emotional drunk, who just talks and talks trying to make a lesson out of everything.

"H is a great judge of character, though. He see's something in you, you left an impression on him earlier. He felt terrible kicking you —"

"Oi!" Harry hollered, abruptly opening the door and almost knocking my head. "Mate, I hate to cut you short but we're doing another round. Get the fuck in you two!"

Jeff sent me a 'told you so' look and we both happily pranced inside behind Harry, ready for whatever was to happen inside those

PART 2: THE BAR CART

#dog years #dogyearsmasterlist #Harry Styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles ff #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #1dff #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #harry styles x reader #harry styles x ofc #one direction fanfiction

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scottspack · 4 years

Text

SO YOU JUST FINISHED THE UNTAMED AND YOU WANT TO READ SOME FIC

Congratulations Jen @jlf23tumble on finishing The Untamed (tomorrow)! Now that you’re done with the show (tomorrow), you can finally dive into the wide and wonderful world of untamed fic!!! I’m ecstatic to be personally curating your reading experience! LET’S BEGIN!

I’ve started off with a list of 5 fics I think you should read in this specific order to 1. get some resolution from the end of the show and 2. get you acclimated to untamed fics! Then, I’ve listed a bunch of fics in different categories for your perusal to read at your leisure! This is an unbelievably long post holy shit brace yourself.

I’m like fairly certain that all of these follow the tv show canon BUT also its very typical for authors to combine many aspects of all of the different forms of canons to their liking. Therefore, I feel like I need to give a quick explanation of a couple things from the novel that show up frequently in fics that idk if you know already or not:

In the book, when Wei Wuxian is resurrected, he is brought back in Mo Xuanyu’s actual body and has his face and everything. Mo Xuanyu was pretty young when he died, I wanna say maybe 17 or 18??? and he was also short and pretty and flamboyantly gay. This is where the references to their crazy height difference come from, but again, I think I tried to include mostly fics that skew more heavily to the tv version where WWX keeps his same body and he and LWJ are more evenly matched physically.

Its novel canon that LWJ smells like sandalwood incense and has golden colored eyes. This is mentioned in like almost every single wangxian fic ive ever read, even if the author said they were strictly adhering to show canon lol

At the end of the novel wangxian run away together and elope! Obviously in the show that’s not how it goes down, but I think a couple of the fics I’ve recced might mention it in passing. (Oh also when they elope they make a pact to fuck “everyday,” a concept that might be mentioned as well.

Obviously, we have to kick it off with some fics that both reunite wangxian and give more resolution to the actual show. If you’re like me, it both took you a while to get all the way through the show AND took 100% of your brain power to remember all of the characters and plot lines. If that’s that case: these fics should be helpful in serving as a kind of emotional refresher for the show to wrap up some loose ends and to dive deeper into some of the things the show glosses over for one reason or another!

1. A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k)

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt COMPLETE. Beautifully written, seamlessly fits with canon, and has a super fulfilling resolution. The perfect way to kick off reading untamed fic!

2. One Rogue Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan, E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!! While this fic is like, almost pure smut, I think there is a ton of value to it in terms of emotional perspective on how fucked up LWJ was after WWX’s death. Also, it’s very hot.

3. Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he rescues Sizhui from the Burial Mounds until they bring WWX back to the Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I think this gives a lot of emotional depth to the Wangji/Sizhui family relationship that is very important in most fics, so this acts as a good base since the show doesn’t really talk about it too much.

4. Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Since we got the emotional depth to Wangji/Sizhui in the last fic, here’s some emotional resolution for Sizhui and his other dad!!!!!!!!!! Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

5. climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, & Wei Wuxian, T, 15k)

Jin Ling had begun to suspect years ago that there were parts of his family history that had been crossed out; long streaks of black where Wei Wuxian had been. The truth is more like whole books being brought up from their hiding places again.

Or: Jin Ling tries to figure out what family means, now.

OKAY!!!! Last emotional resolution before I send you on your way to explore! This is the emotional resolution for the other half of WWX’s family. Featuring just a FUCK TON of family feels and a lot of TALKING that this fucked up family needs so damn bad. *chefs kiss* muy delicioso! ALSO i think this is a good introduction to a lot of the naming conventions that are used frequently in untamed fic that took me a while to pick up on!

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that you’ve gotten some post-show catharsis in the form of a few extremely well-written fics, it’s time for a full rec! I’ve divided it up into seven categories: long fics, smutty one-shots, 3zun (lan xichen/nie mingjue/meng yao) fics, fics about the juniors, family fun fics, some miscellaneous fics, and then some yizhan RPF! I wouldn’t have put any of these fics on here if I didn’t think they were worth reading, BUT! I did mark my particular favorites with asterisks to demark the crème de la crème of the bunch. SO! LET’S DIVE IN!

EPIC TALES (LONG AND/OR IMMERSIVE)

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k) ***

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. YOU MUST PROMISE ME YOU’LL READ THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it. (Also I know you said you’re not into fics that are long just to be long and I think this fic is the exact opposite of that, it’s long but for good reason and has such an insanely satisfying payoff that it’s completely worth dedicating a few hours to!)

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

further than the grave by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 32k)

There is something about grief that turns Lan Wangji numb. He cannot be certain if it is not some kind of defect inside him that makes him so. But just as he grieved his mother’s passing with dry eyes and a stone in his chest, so he grieves Wei Ying: quietly, frozen inside, without tears. Beyond the Jingshi window it might be spring, but Lan Wangji’s body and mind are still held within the winter’s grasp.

As the anniversary of his leaving seclusion approaches, Lan Wangji ponders the nature of grief and healing.

One last fic from the same verse as the previous two, this talks about Wangji post-WWX’s death and then them dealing with the past post-marriage. Its just as good and immersive and amazing as the previous two parts, but this is the only untamed fic that actually made me gasp out loud and if you read this and can guess what it was we will be best friends forever. (There are two other fics in this verse that are also good but these three in particular are god-tier in my eyes.)

Vagabond by xantissa (Wangxian, E, 66k)

Wei Wuxian comes back to Cloud Recesses after a year of wandering the world, hoping to start a relationship with Lan Zhan. He doesn’t expect to come into the middle of a case of sleeping sickness mysteriously killing people, nor does he expect what follows, putting everything he holds dear on the line once again.

OOOWEE CASE FIC! CASE FIC! This is truly the twisty turny intense and INTERESTING type of fic from this fandom that blows my mind. This could fully be a stand alone novel its that good and there’s that much to it. Another one that isn’t long just to be long, it has so much PLOT!!!!! REAL GOOD SHIT!

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and Jin Zixuan?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

A follow-up fic set in the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (Wangxian, T, 20k)

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”

“Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.”

“There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly.

In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

I kept avoiding this fic, even though it was really high up on the list of most popular fics in the fandom, bc the premise sounded pretty goofy BUT I finally bit the bullet one day and AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Very very very cute and fun, made me smile like an idiot throughout the entire thing. Heartwarming and very well written!!!

never let me go by yiqie (Wangxian, E, 69k)

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

Another extremely good and super immersive case fic. If you ever just want to sink really deep into an untamed fic, this is a great one for it.

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (Wangxian, E, 24k)

“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”

You want hurt/comfort? I gotcha hurt/comfort RIGHT HERE!

shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k) ***

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is…..fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (Wangxian, M, 28k) ***

The second time Lan Zhan said Wei Ying, come back, Wei Wuxian did.

okay so this is literally getting added to the fic rec one day before i send it to you because i just finished it and WHEW BABY!!!!! YES it is just another wangxian post-canon reunion get-together fic, BUT 1. i cant get enough of that specific brand of fic and 2. ITS SO GOOD. ITS. SO. GOOD. achingly tender and incredibly soft but also funny and sweet and very in-character! i love it!

THE BONE ZONE (WANGXIAN SMUT)

Sweet Night by corteae (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

An in-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

the crucial point by dissembler (Wangxian, E, 7k) ***

Months after parting on the mountain, Lan Wangji makes up his mind, plots his course on a map, and has faith.

I LOVE THIS FIC! Very realistic and sweet wangxian reunion fic from wangji’s perspective. Has so many good little details and is very true to their characters. Good shit. Great.

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

To Recklessly Confess by la_dissonance (Wangxian, E, 8k)

Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.

The “what if they just fucked in episode 43” au but from a different angle.

all the depths of me, real by northofallmusic (Wangxian, E, 15k)

Wei Wuxian is dealing with a curse a little worse than he'd like to let on, and Lan Zhan is a little less than willing to let it slide.

Another “what if they just fucked in the show” fic, this time set when WWX has the curse on his leg and Wangji has to carry him back to the inn.

Every Day, Learning More by phnelt (Wangxian, E, 6k)

The pink was high on Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. “I mean I haven’t been able to… that I can’t. Not without you.”

Lan Wangji stared. “In this body, the whole time you’ve had it -- you’ve never…”

Wei Wuxian kicked his heels into Lan Wangji’s back. “I just said that!”

I knew at least one of these was more book verse than show! WWX hasn’t been able to jerk off in his new body, LWJ helps him out :-)

the meaning of the ritual by newamsterdam (Wangxian, E, 8k)

“Lan Zhan… wants to bed me?”

The hand on his chest is shaking, slightly. “Mn.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breaths out.

There’s something— something powerful, about that. Lan Wangji wants to bed him. Lan Wangji wants to sleep with him. Lan Wangji wants to touch him, and kiss him. The immovable, implacable Second Master of Lan, with a face and principles both carved from jade, wants him.

“Is this a fantasy of yours?” Wei Wuxian asks. “Forcing all the demonic energy out of me with your—”

Lan Wangji claps a hand over his mouth. “Silence, now.”

When the entire cultivation world turns against the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian makes a risky gamble— he'll agree to participate in an ancient ritual for cleansing the spirit, so that his character can no longer be called into question. The catch? He has no idea who his partner for the ritual will be.

This is also book-verse! As the tag says “Let Lan Wangji Fuck the Yiling Patriarch”!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k) ***

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

WORLD’S WORST THROUPLE (3ZUN)

The body is a blade by rheawrites (3zun, E, 2k) ***

In which Lan Xichen is taken by surprise, Nie Mingjue takes what he can get, and Meng Yao gets what he wants.

This was the first 3zun fic I ever read and whew baby, got it in one! It’s actually a slight AU but it gets their characterization so right and is a very fun read. One of those fics I go back to frequently because it does so much with so few words.

shang tiantang by fuckwarlock (3zun, E, 4k)

They wanted so much, and with the way A-Yao gasps at the saber-calloused hand unfastening his belts, he does, too. The night air twirls with the scents of osmanthus and cinnamon and melon. Lan Xichen smiles, leans in, and ghosts his lips over the crook of A-Yao’s neck. What kind of brother would he be if he didn’t give A-Yao what he wanted? “I think it’s your turn to ascend, A-Yao.”

The Venerated Triad celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival the best way they know how.

Truly the only way the venerated triad works is if meng yao gets Destroyed :-)

Favour and Fate by soulgusttheguardian (3zun, E, 8k)

There have been times in Meng Yao’s life when he couldn’t help but wonder how he came to be in his current situation. Found himself reflecting on the choices leading up to whatever misfortune had befallen him that day, and pondering why fate hated him so.

Granted, there had also been times when he couldn't help but wonder just what he had done to earn the favour necessary to be rewarded with certain things...

The current situation he found himself to be in, however, was definitely the latter.

More of the same! Truly I personally can never get enough of the 3zun dynamic in smut fics its just too goddamn motherfucking GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

the stars do not take sides by everyearning (3zun, E, 4k)

Mingjue isn’t sure he’s ever seen Xichen do anything other than treat the boy like a porcelain doll and it’s laughable to him, to think of Meng Yao as something breakable, instead of the sharp, deadly object he is.

Okay one last “Destroy Meng Yao” 3zun fic! Enjoy!

never as alive as we are right now by ThirtySixSaveFiles (3zun, E, 12k)

Three perspectives on three sworn brothers, at three different times in their relationship.

(Or, three times 3zun got it on and some of the feelings they had along the way.)

Wait actually I want to end the 3zun fics on this one because it has true Emotional Resolution at the end and I think they deserve a little healing.

BABY BOYS. BABIES. (THE JUNIORS)

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k) ***

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

A MUST-FUCKING-READ!!! Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng AND being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

His Merit All My Fear by violettressed (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, G, 16k)

It’s too late for any of Hanguang-Jun’s rabbits to be awake -- one of the sundown chores for young disciples is to herd them back into their hutch -- but the rabbit field is as good a spot as any for quality sulking, so Lan Jingyi makes his way there.

Someone has beat him to it.

Lan Jingyi stares at Hanguang-Jun. Hanguang-Jun stares passively back.

When Lan Sizhui is swept away with the Ghost General, off on a new adventure, Lan Jingyi is the one who returns to Cloud Recesses alone.

Not only another extremely cute Sizhui/Jingyi fic BUT one that includes a Wangji/Jingyi friendship??? Incroyable! *chefs kiss*

spirit running wild by idrilka (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, E, 17k)

He doesn’t know, exactly, when the friendship he shared with Sizhui over the years has changed into something that’s made Jingyi finally understand why Hanguang-Jun always wears that expression whenever he looks at Senior Wei. There hasn’t been one single moment that he can point to and say, yes, this is where it started, because the thing about falling in love with your best friend is that it happens gradually, until it’s impossible to tell which step has been the deciding one.

Jingyi goes to Baling with a crush.

Written by the same genius that wrote the first three fics I made you read so you know it’s good. Its truly the childhood best friends to lovers of it all! Sizhui is adorable and Jingyi is a mess! *muah!*

FAMILY FUN TIME (NO ROMANCE, JUST FEELS)

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

the stone-filled sea by yukla (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 9k) ***

He forgets how quickly Wei-qianbei changes faces, sometimes. Like pulling a theater mask over a bruise—color over color, a diversion with the swipe of his hand.

Lan Sizhui navigates a world that hates his father, one endless wave at a time.

Oh man oh man. I will never get enough of the fics where Sizhui (and the rest of the juniors) get ANGRY on Wei Wuxian’s behalf!! That’s their dad and their teacher and their friend and they will DEFEND HIM!!! YEAH BAYBEEEEEEEEEE!!!

PICK & MIX (MISCELLANEOUS)

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, M, 15k) ***

The realization strikes Song Lan like a bolt of lightning: Xiao Xingchen laughs, and he wants with a sudden, stunning desperation to kiss the mirth from his beautiful mouth. How, precisely, he is meant to manage that—that, he has no idea at all.

Or: introspective meditations on touch, trust, and the problem of desire.

I Am Baby and for some reason cannot handle how sad the entire Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen storyline ended up so I rarely read songchen fics, and when I do they’re always soft pre-canon fics like this one. Luckily there are some very beautiful and moving pre-canon songchen fics!!! I love you fandom!!

purpose and ritual by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 8k)

Song Zichen has beautiful hands. He's a powerful swordsman, strong and skilled, unfairly impressive and unreasonably handsome. He is devoted and self-disciplined and he takes direction like a dream. And he doesn't touch people—no one at all, if he can help it, except for Xiao Xingchen.

The poets might call him a saint, but Xiao Xingchen is so very, very human.

More of the same :-)

born to sweet delight by la_dissonance (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 10k)

Xiao Xingchen lightly jumps into the center of the pool, the water a shock that cools his sticky, heated skin, and does nothing for the heat building inside him. When he surfaces, pushing the hair out of his face, he finds Song Lan's gaze and meets it. Between them, everything goes both ways. What Song Lan will offer, Xiao Xingchen will freely give too.

Or, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan meet, pledge their lives to each other, and then fall in love.

This is about the angstiest I will go for songchen and its still absolutely Baby Soft lmfao!!!!!!

Pin it down by rheawrites (Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan/Nie Mingjue, E, 2k)

“Yanli, I did not lie on our wedding night. You are the only woman I have gone to bed with. But… there was a man.”

“Oh?” Yanli blinks up at him. She does not appear horrified, or betrayed, which is surely a good sign.

Jin Zixuan swallows. “It was Sect Leader Nie,” he says quickly, as though that will make it easier.

“…Oh,” says Yanli, and her eyes are dark.

Jin Zixuan tells his wife a war story. Or, two thousand words of Jin Zixuan getting railed.

Have you ever looked at Jin Zixuan and been like “I bet that mf likes getting PEGGED!!!!!!!!” Well here’s the fic for you.

*YIBO VOICE* DIDI LOVES YOU! (YIZHAN RPF)

never really over by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

The thing is: it would be good to see Xiao Zhan again — if Yibo could just trust himself to be normal.

Author gdgdbaby is the yizhan master, so here are five of my personal favorites of their fics, starting with this post-filming reunion fic that was the first yizhan fic I ever read and HIT real good after having just finished the show myself.

pedagogy by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 17k) ***

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

Quick-fire Yibo comes too easily and Xiao Zhan helps train him to last longer :-)

you’re the reason that i just can’t concentrate by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

Yibo was only 20 when they filmed the untamed, which lends itself perfectly to fics like this.

a truth so loud you can’t ignore by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 5k)

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

If yibo has to be a fictional virgin than SO DOES XIAO ZHAN!

if you would only let you by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 32k) ***

"Well?" Yibo demands. Past the severe frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, a flicker of the old him slips through, the persistent boy who shoved his way into Xiao Zhan's space without a second thought and made a home for himself there. "Are you coming or not?"

Xiao Zhan's heart twists. He forcibly settles it back in his chest. He's only told Yibo no once in his entire life, and it was already the hardest thing he's ever had to do. "Okay," Xiao Zhan murmurs, quiet but decisive, and thumbs his phone off. "Let's go."

Like I said, all gdgdbaby fics are incredibly good, super well written, and very hot, but this one does stand out from the bunch for being a Full Epic Romance! This is one of Chi’s favorite fics so that should speak to it’s quality!

baby, who’s counting by nobirdstofly (Yizhan, E, 12k)

Xiao Zhan gasps, trying to rein in another peal of giggles. “What do I owe you anyway?”

Yibo shrugs one shoulder, and his smirk deepens. “Haven’t decided.”

Xiao Zhan’s still staring at him, laughter gone in his dry throat, when he hears someone yell for a reset. Yibo’s eyes are so, so dark, and he hasn’t stopped watching Xiao Zhan this whole time. Xiao Zhan swallows, nods, and pushes every dirty thought out of his head.

(Or: Yibo bets Xiao Zhan he'll break first during a take, Xiao Zhan loses, and it's all downhill from there.)

Ah sex bets, who doesn’t love sex bets!

Mystery Dance by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 16k)

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!"

"Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from.

"Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

WHAT’S better than a Yibo virgin fic? A SECOND YIBO VIRGIN FIC!

This author also writes extremely good yizhan threesomes so here’s three of them!

Some Nights by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Xuan Lu (Jiang Yanli), E, 2k)

Xuan Lu opened her legs to him and Xiao Zhan wasted no time diving in. He pressed his mouth against her pussy, licking her out steadily as her thighs trembled around him. She was nestled between Yibo's legs and if Xiao Zhan looked up, not only could he see the planes of her body, her small breasts going up and down with her breathing, ribs expanding, her tipped back head and open mouth, but Yibo, gaze boring into Xiao Zhan's as he ate Xuan Lu out.

The entire cast is hot and there is no reason they shouldn’t ALL fuck! Not one reason!!!!!!

gege loves you by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Wang Zhuocheng (Jiang Cheng)), E, 7k)

"We are very sorry," Xiao Zhan murmured as he unbuttoned Zhuocheng's jeans while Yibo kissed his ear, "for how we've been acting."

"Is this how you apologize to everyone," Zhuocheng panted, hands already going for his zipper to help Xiao Zhan along, "or am I special?"

WHEW LORD!!!!!!!!! WHEW!!!!!!!

Talking in the Dark by mrsronweasley (Yizhan (Side Xiao Zhan/M/F), E, 14k)

Xiao Zhan has a light-hearted romp of a threeway with some friends, then makes the mistake of telling Yibo. It goes down.

A non-yizhan threesome BUT features jealous!yibo which is a ton of fun.

Finally, a couple AUs!

With Joy and Purpose by feenwitch (Yizhan, E, 30k) ***

Yibo has been alone for approximately five Earth years when Xiao Zhan crash lands on his planet.

YIZHAN ANDROID AU!!!!!!!! This is a very star trek-esque universe which is fun, but the fic itself is also CRAZY interesting and moving and beautiful!!!!!!!!! It’s A LOT! This was a rec from Nina, so thank you Nina!

Bound With a Same-Heart Knot by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 59k)

London, 1892. Xiao Zhan, a promising young attache at the Chinese embassy is tasked with showing the new ambassador's son Wang Yibo around London. The inevitable happens.

Victorian AU! I actually think you already read this, but included for posterity.

AND SCENE! This is the result of two months of daily fic reading, having 50 tabs of fic open at any given time, reading truly anything and everything, and Loving The Untamed. I’m SO EXCITED you’re diving into fic for this show and I can’t wait to talk to you about all of them and to have someone to scream with! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

#the untamed #fic #the untamed fic rec #holy gosh diddly darn moly #this is long as hell and has approximately 950k words of fic in it #my magnum opus!!!!#what's even more wild is that this literally doesnt even scratch the surface #i am constantly reading more #from the time i started putting this rec together until now #i added two new fics that i read and thought were amazing #there is no dearth of good shit to read in this fandom #ANYWAYS congrats on finishing (tomorrow)!#i cant wait to talk fic!#i hope you enjoy this list!#sorry it is genuinely absurdly long!

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tyunni · 3 years

Text

get to know me tag !

this is lowkey long, but it was fun to write <333 tagged by: @spookybias tagging: @eternallyhyucks @mjnisode @choibinn3 & anyone who feels like it lol (no pressure btw)

—

what day is your birthday? dec 21

what’s your favorite color? YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW ‼️‼️‼️‼️

what’s your lucky number? uhh... 7 maybe?? idk i just like it a lot for no reason-

do you have any pets? no :(

how tall are you? .... barely 5'0-

how many pairs of shoes do you have? LITERALLY TWO LMFOSOA AND I ONLY WEAR ONE OF THOSE.

favorite song? oh god damn... too many... basically every skz & txt song, but if we're talking abt non-kpop then im gonna have to go w/ woman by doja cat && as the world caves in by matt maltese

favorite movie? i dont rlly... watch movies?? i dont find them that entertaining, but maybe wonder. (my literature teacher made us watch it back in 2019 (?) and i still love it to this day, makes me cry :(()

what would your ideal partner be like? uhh,,, felix.

do you want children? yes... it think??? 3 kids man i want 3 kids‼️

have you gotten in trouble with the law? YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME. (no, i haven't)

bath or shower? shower.

what color socks are you wearing? im answering these questions at 3AM in BED. who tf wears socks in bed 😟 (no offense)

favorite type of music? sad. sad music. extremely sad music. bonus points if it makes my heart ache a lot. i love crying :D OTHER THAN THAT SUMN THAT WILL HYPE ME TF UP‼️ and also love songs. i love them so fucking much. im a hopeless romantic, & hearing other hopeless romantics put their experiences on paper and turn it into something that sounds so beautiful just keeps me going :(

how many pillows do you sleep with? two.

what position do you sleep in? on my chest (explains a lot...)

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? MOSQUITOES BUZZING IN MY FUCKING EAR, YA HEAR THAT, JERRY?!?!?! mf has been here for days now, im tired :/

what do you have for breakfast? i usually don't have breakfast, bcuz i wake up pretty late, but ramen??? i live off ramen ok?!?!

have you ever tried archery? NO BUT I WANT TO SO BAD!! listen ik im weak but still ;(

favorite fruit? tomatoes 🍅 are fruits right?

favorite swear word? shit, fuck, mf. cant choose 😟

do you have any scars? TOO MANY!!! on my knees, hands, on my nose (they had to stitch it lol there was literally a HOLE-), on my head.

are you a good liar? well, i personally don't think so. but i lie a lot and ppl seem to fall for it, so maybe??

what’s your personality type? infp-t.

what’s your favorite type of girl? any type of girl!!! girls are just so dbwbdhabwbwhahab

innie or outtie? innie :D

left or right handed? right

favorite food? ramen.

favorite foreign food? any chinese food that shit's amazing.

are you clean or messy? depends....? i dont like it when its messy but i still dont do shit abt it bcuz im lazy.

most used phrase? "LMFAO"

how long does it take you to get ready? like five to fifteen mins- just throw a shirt and pants on, maybe some eyeliner if im feeling a lil funky & im ready to go :D may has got 3 looks and thAT'S IT !!

do you talk to yourself? all the fucking time

do you sing to yourself? uhh.. yeah??? idk what that means-

are you a good singer? yep!!! used to do choir and shit til i quit like a year or two ago.

biggest fear? abandonment issues have entered the chat.

are you a gossip? haUh??? idk-

do you like long or short hair? UMMM on myself?? short. (im literally bald rn) on others?? maybe long?? idk just depends on the person.

favorite school subject? english. fuck everything else english outsold‼️ or maybe its cuz im that one lgbtq+ eurasian bitch who learned english at a very young age through cartoons && is pretty much fluent now.

introvert or extrovert? introverttttttt.

what makes you nervous? awkward silence. it pains me. pretty people with pretty smiles and pretty lips.

who was your first real crush? been having crushes since kindergarten babe!! but idk if that counts so ig my classmate who i had a thing with in 4th grade up until 6th??

how fast can you run? not very fast but if im in a hurry i'm gonna leap.

what color is your hair? brown (might dye it soon tho)

do you like your own name? my real life name, yep. my other name i use, yep. mj or may?? HELL YEAH.

what makes you angry? everything. im a small angry lil gremlin that'll bite ur legs off if necessary.

do you want a boy or a girl as a child? both :D

what are your strengths? ig i give uhh.. decent advice maybe...?

what are your weaknesses? too many. both physically and mentally. my horrible temper, extremely insecure, very stubborn, i apologize even if i didn't feel like i did anything wrong, tend to overshare a bit LIKE RN SO I SHOULD SHUT UP.

what’s the color of your bedspread? grEEN with white flowers :D

what’s the color of your room? pink-ish white-ish yellow... mostly white 😢

#‼️.tagged #‼️.may ted talks #‼️.mutuals #very fundndnsbshbsbs #i love writing these

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girlsluvbot · 4 years

Text

MATCHMAKER pt.1

pairing: roseanne park × fem! reader

genre: fluff, angst

about:

matchmaker /ˈmatʃmeɪkə/

noun

a person who arranges marriages or initiates romantic relationships between others.

"an enthusiastic matchmaker who continually tried to pair off the difficult bachelor with unattached ladies"

a/n: i'm back!!! hehe this goddamn thing took so long to write, i both despise and adore it with every fibre of my being. enjoy my blood, sweat and tears in the form of a fic.

You loved your job. Very few people are lucky enough to be able to relate to that statement, and you were thankfully one of them. Hell, not only did you love your job, you were extremely good at it.

Since you were a little kid, writing nas always been your biggest passion. Wether it was writing short stories, poems or essays about the french revolution, you were always happy when you were able to put your feelings and thoughts onto paper. This was the main reason why you became the manager of your local newspaper during middle school, high school and eventually even university.

You've won multiple writing contests and even people who had no idea what your name was knew one thing about you: you were an amazing writer.

Years of practice, your impeccable set of skills and a recommendation letter from your university professor secured you a job at Vogue almost immediately. After all this hard work, you finally achieved everything you were looking for. You were truly happy.

Until this very moment.

"Well, I don't know," the woman sitting in front of you made a disgusted grimace, "it just lacks any emotion whatsoever. I've quite literally never read something so stiff and akward."

And here they were. The first words of criticism you have ever recieved. You were so used to everyone praising your work, you didn't know how to react or respond.

Three months ago, you would have never gotten into a similar situation: simply because there was nothing about your work to critize. But a lot has changed in the past few weeks, and not exactly in the good kind of way.

When you first joined Vogue, you were the head editor and journalist of the spread dedicated almost entirely to interviews. Thats what you did, talked to celebrities and wrote about them. And that's what you were good at, almost too good.

Just a year after working in the magazine you got promoted. You were still the head editor, but now of a completely different part of the journal: one dedicated to a single topic. Love. This was bad news, very bad news.

Why, you ask? The reason was fairly simple but no less embarrassing. Even as the head editor of a spread all about love, you've never experienced it yourself. In other words, you've never been in love. And how are you supposed to write about something you know nothing about?

Your boss looks at you and shakes her head. She reaches for the stack of papers on the table in front of her and starts reading, "For example; 'His lips brushed against mine. They were soft. The kiss was short but sweet. I loved it.' What the actual heck? I kiss my cat more passionately than this." she took off her glasses and started massaging the crook of her nose.

"Listen, Y/N, I've read your previous pieces and they were simply wonderful. But this? I don't even know what else to say without hurting your feelings."

"I'm so sorry. I know, it's just that I dont have much experience in said area." you don't finish the sentence, hoping she somehow gets the memo. She doesn't.

"What area?"

"Love. I dont have much experience with love." you blurt out the words that have been on your mind nonstop since the day of your promotion.

"Oh, you poor thing" she leans back in her chair, her eyes scanning your every move, "Isn't that unfortunate."

You nod your head slowly, trying not to get offended at her words full of pity.

"How are you supposed to write romance stories then? This won't work." the woman grabs a post-it note

"Are," your voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, "Are you firing me?"

"Are you crazy? Of course I'm not," she hands you the piece of paper with a phone number, "We just have to improvise for the time being. Do you know Roseanne Park? She's the manager of our Matchmaker spread. You can be her assistant for the next few months, help her around, learn a thing or two. Hopefully your writing wont be so...bland after."

To be completely honest, you didn't handle changes well. Maybe that's why you were standing in front of your new, and hopefully temporary, bosses office, trying to build up the courage to knock on her door.

One of the reasons why you were so nervous was that Roseanne Park, the manager of the Vogue Matchmaker was insanely attractive. Admittedly, you did some online stalking the night before- okay, a lot of it. Here's the thing; you were a planner. Whether it came to your career, writing or even relationships, you liked to beprepared.

That's why after a few hours spent on the internet, you knew everything. The name of her sister (Alice Park), if the had a pet (yes, a fish named Joohwangie) and who her favorite band was (The 1975).

You weren't usually like this, so head over heels for a girl you haven't even met. But your writing, the reason you were here in the first place, didn't usually suck so after all, some things really do change easily.

Just as you reached for the dark wooden door in front of you, it opened before your hand could even touch it's sleek surface.

"Oh!" the tall woman stopped in her tracks. Thanks to your thorough internet digging, you instantly recognized her. Roseanne Park. Your new boss. A 'matchmaker' if you will.

"You must be Y/N! I've heard that you're going to be my assistant for a bit." your cheeks heated up for no apparent reason. Did she know the reason why you got transferred here so quickly? Every molecule in your body wished and prayed to every possible god out there that she didn't.

"Yeah, that's me!" you finally composed yourself enough to speak, but that didn't mean your voice didn't sound like one of a twelve year old boy going through puberty- high pitched and squeaky.

You examined her face more in depth, and realized quite a few things:

She was somehow even prettier in real life. How? you had no idea. Some people just really won the genetics lottery, you thought.

Her hair was red. Like undeniably, undoubtedly red. In all of the pictures you found yesterday it was either brown or black, so this change caught you off guard. You couldn't complain though, because this girl looked like a hotter version of Ariel with a much better sense in fashion (and music).

"Have you been standing out here for too long?"

"Oh no, I just arrived." lying has never been so easy.

"Great! I'm gonna go downstairs to grab a package but you can look around the office while I'm gone," she opened the door a bit to let you walk in.

You did as she told you and entered the room. The door closed behind you without you noticing, the only thing you could focus on was this girl's office. It looked just like you would imagine heaven to look like- full of light, white furniture and expensive looking leather couches.

There were pictures everywhere: a dozen of four young girls (one of them being Roseanne), a few more of her with famous celebrities and one of a familiar looking face- her sister.

You carefully walked towards the table in the middle of the room, not wanting to damage anything. You noticed quite a bit of unexpected clutter, and above everything a print of the brand new Vogue issue. A woman on the cover flashed you a beautiful smile as you picked it up. The headline stated: Kim Jisoo talks acting, NYFW and love.

You flipped the glossy magazine pages to find the spread dedicated to said interview and noticed just what you were looking for: the author of the article. The credits at the bottom of the page revealed a nice surprise- Author; Roseanne Park.

"Well what do you think? Is it a good article?" your soul almost left your body when you realized who was standing next to you. You quickly put the magazine down, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to touch your stuff. I just saw the cover and..."

"Oh my gosh, are you kidding? That's completely okay, I don't mind." she pointed to the journal, "That interview is actually one of the favorite pieces I ever wrote, and not just because it's about Jisoo. Plus, my friend took the pictures, so it was extra fun." She opened the spread again and pointed to a name credited right next to hers, Photographer; Lalisa Manoban.

"Oh wow. I've seen her pictures before, they're really good. I with I could take photos like that. Seriously."

Here's one thing to note: when you're nervous, you ramble. Like a lot. Some people would say its better than staying silent, but let's be honest- it's like stepping into a puddle instead of mud. Not a disaster, but there's still plenty to complain about.

Thankfully, Roseanne only giggled, "I know exactly what you mean. I hope you'll get to work with her someday."

You both stared at the magazine spread for a second before Roseanne broke the silence.

"But now, let's get to bussines. Sit down please, this might take a while," she pointed tkwards one of the leather couches you noticed earlier and took a seat at the other side of the table.

"So, as you probably already know, my name is Roseanne Park. As a manager of Matchmaker, my job is to read these letters," she grabben a handful of papers for emphasis, "and respond to them, give advixe basically. The title 'Matchmaker' comes from the fact that the majority of the letters talk about love. Any questions so far?"

When you shook your head no, she continued, "As my assistant, your job is fairly simple. You're going to sort and read through the hundreds of letters I recieve weekly and pick the most interesting ones for me to feature. And occasionally, you might accompany me to a few interviews. Sounds good?"

You slowly nodded, processing all the new information. Letters, answers, interviews and a hot boss. That doesn't sound so bad.

"Great. So Y/N," she suddenly stood up, "Would you mind going with me to Subway? I'm starving."

By the time you were finished with lunch, you had a new point to add to your list of realizations about your new boss:

She loves food, and by loves I mean LOVES.

The moment you arrived at the restaurant, food was the only thing she would talk about. She told you about what she had for dinner and breakfast, what kind of snacks she hid in the office and what kind of salad she was getting alongside a baguette.

After she actually managed to get a bit of calories into her system (thanks to a foot-long chicken turkey sandwich) the conversation finally got more interesting.

Don't get me wrong, you could listen to this girl talk for hours, no matter the topic. But after listening to a thirty minute long monologue about why pineapple pizza is the best thing ever invented, even you have reached your limit.

"So," you start, in an effort to break the ice, "how long have you been working at Vogue?"

She squints at the toast in front of her, trying to remember, "About five years? Yeah, it's gonna be five years in May."

"Oh wow, that's impressive."

She tilts her head, "Is it? I mean, when you work as often as I do, time just goes by. I don't even remember the last time I went out with my friends to discuss something that wasn't work related."

You pout, regretting the choice to ask her about work.

"But at the same time, I love what I do so I can't really complain. What about you though? Why did you decide to become a journalist?"

"Oh, I started just a year ago. And I studied literature, so I guess becoming a journalist made sense."

"Why did you study literature then? There's so many other better paying jobs out there."

"I don't think anyone works in such a field for money, that's for sure," you try to lighten the atmosphere, "Well, my mom wanted to become a writer, but she got pregnant before she could finish her book and she's been pretty much busy ever since. I guess her love for books kind of rubbed off on me."

Roseanne nods, to let you know she's listening. "I'm glad you and your mom have such an important aspect of your lives in common. My mother wanted me to become a lawyer, I doubt she's ever read even a single fiction book in her entire life."

"What does she think about your job now?"

Her lips tighten and she crosses her arms. "I don't know. I haven't talked to her since," her eyes seem empty, their signature spark gone. You can tell you struck a nerve. "I haven't talked to her since I moved out."

"Well, I'm sure that she's proud of you," you can't help but add.

Rosie lets out a dry laugh, "You don't know my mother then," she slowly pushes her plate away, "I think I'm full so I'm gonna head back to the office."

Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut. You learned this the hard way.

You head back after your lunch break ends, alone. Even though Roseanne walked you through everything she expects you to help around with, you know that your job doesn't start and end with sorting through letters.

You softly knock on the office door before heading in. She's already sitting there, behind her desk. Without looking up from her laptop, she scoffs, "You're late."

"It's just five minutes," you shrug, not taking her tone seriously. Finally, she raises her sight to meet yours. Even without her saying anything, you understand. Do not play around with fire.

You mumble an apology and quickly run to the small hallway at the other side of the room which leads to your own (significantly smaller) office.

"What makes you think I'm done?" Turning around, you notice that her eyes are piercing through your back. Unsure of what she expects you to do, you walk back in front of her.

"While you were out there doing god knows what for two hours," you resist the urge to roll your eyes, "I already did your job and sorted through the letters. You're welcome."

She walks around the table and pushes a thick stack of papers against your chest, "That means you'll be doing my job and write replies to them. Can you handle that?"

You try not to show her how terrified you are. You? Giving relationship advice? Sounds like a recipe for a royal disaster. Instead, you rise your chin and smile, "Yes ma'am."

She visibly winces at the formal title, but still nods and returns to her seat. You take this as a sign to head back to your spot and do your job. Well, her job for now.

You sit down calmly and shuffle through the papers, trying not to look too freaked out. What the heck are you going to do now?

A quick peek at your boss reveals that she's either busy with work or just flat out ignoring you.

Trying to remain collected, you pick out the top letter from the pile. The first paragraph reads:

Hi Rosie! I'm a huge fan of your Matchmaker spread :) I never thought I'd be the one writing you a message but here we are hahaha. (Let's hope this gets featured!)

You roll your eyes but continue reading,

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for just about two months and I would describe our relationship as 'lowkey'. We first met at a bar a last year but we surprisingly didn't immediately hit it off.

With a raised eyebrow you skip over a page full of sappy descriptions and relationship stories, before getting to the end of the letter.

So what should I do? He's really sweet but I'm not sure if I'm ready to meet his family just yet.... please help! Love, Courtney.

You fold the paper back to it's original state with a quiet gulp. What on earth did you get yourself into?

#blackpink #blackpink scenarios #park chaeyoung #rosé #rosé fluff #rosé angst #rosé smut #rosé x reader #girlfriend rosé #blackpink rosé #blackpink rose #rose angst #rose fluff #blckpink fluff #blackpink angst #blackpink smut #roseanne park #rosé park

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queendice98 · 3 years

Text

Chapter One: Misfits meet Mutants

Sixth grade, one of the most awkward and biggest turning points in any youth's life. Everyone is going through puberty, long-time friends are beginning to fight each other over petty things, and anyone that has problems at home feels even more helpless and lost. The last part couldn't be more true for childhood friends Maggie, Maddie, and Ash. It's hard enough that they're undergoing puberty, but on top of that their home lives are less than ideal for moody preteens.

Maggie has a decent relationship with her father; her mother, on the other hand, is another story. Her mother is not the nurturing type. Some would say that perhaps her mental health was to blame but that is certainly no excuse for the way she treats her daughter. It doesn't help Maggie's mood that her parents are always fighting, leaving the poor girl feeling alone and unstable.

Maggie sluggishly gets ready for her first day of 6th grade, not that she's really looking forward to it, she just wants to escape the shitfest she calls a house. The brunette brushes her hair and teeth before changing into a baggy black hoodie, jeans, and an old pair of tennis shoes. She swings her large backpack on and grabs whatever looks edible from the fridge before leaving her house and walking to the bus stop nearby.

Maddie had to wake up much earlier than her friends so that she had enough time to feed her two younger siblings and send them off to the bus stop. Being the responsible older sister she is, she always took care of her siblings. Her mother often chose sleeping over care of her younger children, leaving her eldest to do all the work. The young girl sighs, grabbing a Mountain Dew and a packet of Pop-Tarts before going to the bus stop. She texts Ash to see if her friend is awake yet.

The girls have known each other since kindergarten, they had gone through so much in elementary school and every experience made their bond much stronger. Maddie is happy to have a friend like her, she has no idea how she would have survived without Ash. Lord knows they'll need each other as they go through the very early stages of puberty. She climbs onto the school bus, texting Ash after sitting down.

Ash texts Maddie that she's awake and getting ready for school, trying desperately to drown out her fighting parents. The kind girl is used to hearing them fight every morning before they go to work. It's gotten to the point that she no longer needs an alarm to wake up. She stays in her room until they finally leave for work giving her a chance to grab something for breakfast. Quickly settling on a day-old seven-layer burrito from Taco Bell, she heads out the door, happy that summer is over and she's back in school.

Ash has been in a bad home for as long as she can remember, her situation only worsening when her mom met Gavin and later married him. When he came into her life, she stupidly fooled herself into thinking he was different from all her mother's other relationships. Now he's proven himself to be nothing more than an overweight, alcoholic, smoker that spends most of his time drinking and belittling her. What Ash wouldn't give to get rid of that asshole once and for all, then maybe she'll have her mom back.

All three girls have no idea that they're in for a surprise when they get to school. Maddie and Ash meet up in the cafeteria, easily spotting Maggie by her lonesome. "Hey stranger." Ash says as she and Maddie sit with the young Wiccan.

Maggie smiles at the two girls, remembering them from fifth grade and how kind they were to her. "How you girls doin'?" Maggie asks as she drinks some chocolate milk.

"Eh, kinda glad to be at school. Least I'm out of that damn house." Maddie shrugs while sipping on her Mountain Dew.

"I was at camp over the summer. It was definitely better than being at home all day." Ash adds, eating an apple.

"Sounds like y'all had fun. I was stuck at home all summer." Maggie scrolls threw her phone, absentmindedly looking at some memes.

Ash glances up, noticing her new neighbor in line to get breakfast. "Oh God, of course that idiot would be here." Ash groans, praying that she doesn't have any classes with him.

Meanwhile, the Hamato boys are in the car heading to school, "I can't wait! We're finally going to public school!" Mikey shouts while practically vibrating in his seat.

"Calm down Mikey, you're going to scare everyone." Raph grouches to his younger brother, still grumpy from waking up early. Leo was almost neurotically making sure he had everything in his backpack. Donnie surprisingly was the most calm during the car ride despite being extremely excited about getting to go to public school. He was focused on how he can learn far more under the instruction of qualified professionals than he ever could have while homeschooled.

Splinter is glad his boys are excited for their official first day of school. Although they had a rough summer moving from New York to Fort Worth, Texas, he was sure it was for the best. After all, being here would hopefully be good for his boys. Maybe Splinter will benefit from this as well. Once at the school, the boys rushed to get out of the car. "Have a good day, my sons!" Splinter exclaims, feeling a bit emotional watching his boys go inside.

The hours go by as well as expected on the first day; the usual confusion of finding one's class, the principal trying to be cool as she greets the student body over the intercom, all the cliche drawn out 'getting to know you' activities. The girls were separate most of the day, finally reuniting for gym class. "Hey, y'all heard about the four turtles that moved here?" Maggie asks as they change into their gym clothes.

"Yeah, I think I had one of them in my math class earlier." Maddie saw one of the Hamato boys in her class. The blue clad one if she remembers correctly.

"I saw them in the hall between classes, the one with an orange bandana is loud as Hell." Ash finishes changing and leads the three girls out of the locker room only to see the four turtles in their gym class.

"Great." Moaned all three as they sit as far away from everyone as possible.

"Okay guys, my name is coach Dianne and I will be your gym teacher for the next three years. It's our first day, so we're just going to do some stretches before we play dodgeball!"

Mikey looks around and sees the three girls sitting by themselves in a corner while they did some stretching. He stared, curious as to why they were so far away from everyone else.

Leo took notice of the scrunched up face his brother was making, "What are you looking at Mikey?" He follows his brother's gaze only to blush dark red. He hadn't expected to see Maddie in gym class with him. The poor guy hasn't realised he is slowly developing a crush on the short haired brunette, a bit clueless about things like this because of his isolated upbringing. Raph laughs quietly while watching his oldest, 'most mature,' brother turn redder than a ripe cherry at seeing a pretty girl.

Before Mikey could get the chance to walk up to the girls to say hi, the coach began splitting everyone up into teams so they could start playing dodgeball. Unfortunately for him, they are on the other team. Mikey tries to get struck out along with the girls, really wanting a chance to talk to them.

In spite of his brother's efforts, it is Donnie that gets struck out first. Being the tallest of his classmates makes him an easy target. Ash gets hit not long after by a lucky shot, despite her doing an amazing job at dodging due to her small stature.

She sits near Donnie, grabs a book from her backpack and begins to read. Donnie notes that she's reading Macbeth and can't resist but get a little closer to her. "So, um, I see that you're into Shakespeare. I like his work too." He says in an attempt to make small talk.

She glances up, surprised that someone actually wants to talk to her. Hardly anyone talks to her. "It's okay, not one of my favorites. I'm just reading ahead for my English homework." Ash replies to the tall nerdy terrapin, blushing as she takes a good look at him. He's pretty cute for a mutant turtle. An adorable gap between his teeth and enchanting red-brown eyes are two things she spots off the bat.

"Oh, where are my manners? I'm Donnie." The shy boy extends a large three digit hand, shaking Ash's far smaller one. He's blown away by how beautiful she is. Extra long espresso locks, soft pale skin, sweet sensitive brown eyes, she's an absolute angel.

"I'm Ash, it's nice to meet you."

Leo is next to get hit and forced to sit on the bleachers. His sapphire blue eyes widen when he sees Maddie get struck out and begin walking in his direction. He wants to talk to her, but he has no idea what to say. "Um, hi." Leo says, his voice squeaking a little. He brushes it off the best he can, especially now that he's gotten her attention.

"Yes?" Maddie questions, wondering what this nerd could possibly want from her.

"I, uh, saw you in math class, and I want to get to know you a little better." Leo fidgets awkwardly under her harsh gaze. With her standing in front of him, he can really admire her better. Short, honey-brown hair frames her face perfectly. Her face and arms are splattered with adorable freckles. But, it's her eyes that fluster Leo the most. They're a beautiful blue-green. The shades shift depending on how the light hits them.

"Uh okay, what do you want to know?" Maddie asks, not knowing why Leo wants to talk to her but open to talk. The fact that the blue clad turtle is fairly handsome may have slightly opened her up to discussion. Pine green skin and sweet round sapphire eyes? Swoon worthy.

"So uh, Mr. Evans is a nutcase huh?" Leo chokes out. Jesus, he sucks at flirting. Just being social is a struggle when you've been isolated for so long, how is he supposed to hit on someone? Everyone that was watching them could see he was struggling like Hell.

Raph and Maggie are soon struck out. The red banded turtle watches Maggie sit down and curl in on herself. He is pulled in by how mysterious she looks. Raph has no idea that in reality the young woman is a small angry gremlin. He swaggers over to her, in reality looking like a fucking idiot, "Sup! How are ya?" Raph asks the young Wiccan.

"Hi?" Maggie responds hesitantly, unsure why he's talking to her.

Suspicious of new people, she stays curled into herself. This doesn't exactly hide her as much as she wishes it did, however. Long, dark brown hair tied up in a ponytail, revealing and enchanting hazel eyes as she peers up at the intruder to her personal space.

"So how's your day going?" He asks, noticing that Maggie seems to be a bit wary.

She decides he's not posing a threat, at least not currently, "Eh it's what you'd expect on the first day of school." Maggie shrugs, humming non-committedly. She is just a bit unsure how to react now that Raph is talking to her. The two continue chatting about classes, Maggie letting Raph lead the conversation for the most part.

Finally, Mikey gets struck out of the game. "Hey guys!" The youngest turtle shouts, curious as to what his older brothers are doing. His face absolutely lights up when he sees that the girls he wanted to talk to earlier are now talking with his brothers.

Leo sees his baby brother making his way towards him and Maddie, he prays that Mikey doesn't embarrass him. Maddie sees the excitable turtle braces for herself. He seems nice but at the same time she's not sure if he's really friendly. "Maddie, this is my baby brother Mikey." Leo introduces the two, knowing Mikey wants to talk to her.

Mikey excitedly shakes Maddie's hand. He can't believe he has a new friend. "I love your hoodie! I'm a fan of My Hero Academia too!" Mikey exclaims, happy someone likes the same show he likes.

"Yeah? I just got into it recently. It's awesome!" Maddie says as she begins to talk to the orange clad turtle. Leo can't believe that Mikey took Maddie's attention away from him, then again, he should have expected this from his baby brother.

Casey spots Ash on the bleachers and heads over. He's eager to get to know his next-door neighbor, "Hey there, how's it going?"

Ash looks up at Casey and groans, why does he have to be her class? "Hi, I'm okay." Ash replied curtly.

Donnie wonders how they know each other. "So um, how do you two know each other? Do you have a class together or something?"

Ash shakes her head, "No he's my next-door neighbor, he moved into my neighborhood during the summer." She has nothing against Casey. It's just that he seems to follow her wherever she goes. Before they could have a chance to really talk, the bell rings for lunch. Ash sighs in relief as she grabs her things and Maddie so they can get away from all of these people. Maggie follows them, overhearing that they're going to hide out in the art room. Being in a quiet spot is better than being in the loud cafeteria.

The three girls wait in line to get some food, blissfully unaware that Mikey is planning to get the three girls to become his best friends. "So, you two gonna join any clubs or something?" Maddie asks as she grabs a tray of food and some milk.

Maggie grabs some food as well, sticking out her tongue at the choices, "I'm probably gonna join the band or something."

"I might join the cooking or arts and crafts club." Ash says, not caring how long she stays after school. It's better than being at home.

The boys are looking around for a place to sit only for their baby brother to drag them to the art room. "Mikey, where are you taking us?" Leo questions. Mikey doesn't answer, but his brothers have no choice but to follow him to make sure that he's okay. Casey goes with the turtles. He just feels like they may be fun to hang around. As the girls get settled in the art room, they hear muffled voices in the hall. They share confused looks until Mikey bursts through the door and sits down. The girls are startled and a bit nervous, but choose not to question it.

"Hi! I'm Michelangelo, but you guys can call me Mikey. I saw you guys in gym class and wanted to get to know you." Mikey bounces excitedly as he sits in front of the girls.

Once they enter the art room, Leo, Donnie, Raph, and Casey stop to catch their breath. Leo and his other two brothers begin apologizing for Mikey's behavior. Unlike the orange clad baby, they could recognize he was acting like a total stalker. The girls accepted their apology, seeing that Mikey means no harm. And who could say no to his adorable face? Especially when he just wanted to make friends!

"So uh Mikey, what elementary school did you and your brothers go to?" Ash asks as she eats her Burger.

"Oh we've been homeschooled until we moved here in June." Mikey replies as he eats his tots.

"Yeah, we're actually from New York. But Dad wanted to move here so we have a better education." Donnie adds as he peels an orange.

Maddie is stunned, "We don't usually get a lot of people from up North, they think our weather is too crazy."

"Yup, Texas has crazy weather." Maggie adds.

"No kidding! How can you survive in this weather? How do you walk around in the summer heat without dying?" Leo asks, amazed how anyone can stand the heat at all.

"We were raised in it, that's just how we are." Ash says as she doesn't think that heat is that bad.

Maddie and Leo blush when their eyes meet. They can't help but glance at each other, finding each other cute. Mikey notices their stares as he talks to Ash and Maggie, he's definitely going to tease Leo later.

"So what was it like in the Big Apple?" Maggie questions curiously.

Raph was happy to answer that question between bites of his burger. "It was okay, we mainly stayed in the house. Dad was paranoid about something happening to us."

The girls were surprised. Not only did they not see much of New York, but their dad was concerned enough for their safety that they moved so far away. "It's pretty cool, I want to go back when I get older." Casey stuffs his face with soggy tater-tots, continuing the conversation by telling them some stories he had from the few years he lived in the big city before moving.

The tweens continue talking to each other, and the girls are pleasantly surprised that they are having fun with these New Yorkers. The three girls are used to living in solitude and only talking to others when they have to, so this is a nice change. Mikey is just happy to have made some new friends on his first day of public school. Everyone is enjoying themselves as they chat among each other until lunch is over and they must go to their next lesson.

Donnie and Ash blush when they see they have the same science class. Ash thought she's the only one in the honors courses, unaware that Donnie is just as big a nerd as she is. The rest of the day goes by fairly well, the bell promptly releasing the students from class. The day is over, and they're free to go home.

The Hamato boys patiently wait for Rat Dad to come and pick them up. Mikey sees Ash and Maddie are waiting for their late bus and waves at them. Smiling when they wave back at him.

Leo soon sees Rat Dad's car, "C'mon Mikey, Father's here!" He shouts. Raph, seeing Mikey had seemingly completely ignored Leo, grabs his baby brother's arm and yanks him into the car.

"I assume you boys had a good day at school?" Splinter questions hopefully as he watches his boys get into the car.

"We had a great day Papa! I made some new friends!" Mikey shouts as he puts his seatbelt on.

"Yeah, we met them in gym class. They're really nice." Donnie says, a bright blush on his face.

"They're nice girls." Leo adds, getting Splinter's attention.

Splinter is apprehensive that the first friends they made were girls, though knowing his youngest he has no reason for concern. Mikey just wants to be friends with anyone and everyone. The more Splinter listens to what Mikey tells him, the more he relaxes as he can tell that Mikey is just trying to be friendly. Rat Dad is relieved that his boys had a good day at school, he had worried that moving here wouldn't turn out the way he had hoped. Thankfully Fort Worth seems like a great choice for him and his boys so far. If only they knew this was just the beginning of their new lives.

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reyescarlos · 4 years

Text

we found each other in the dark

chapter 3/4: heavy in your arms; word count: 6.6k || read on ao3

And is it worth the wait? All this killing time? Are you strong enough to stand Protecting both your heart and mine?

Eddie expected to have an eventful first day at the 118 but he couldn’t have possibly imagined the night would end like this.

Bobby had told him this morning that each shift was like playing Russian roulette. Some calls were minor, scenarios that the team could get through quickly enough without anyone’s life hanging in the balance. But the flip side to that were high stakes moments where one bad decision could mean death.

Eddie was used to working under pressure. He was certain that nothing could be more daunting than trying to save someone’s life and maintain his own while in the middle of a war zone. By comparison, the streets of L.A. would be milder, easier to tame, he figured. So, to find himself now staring down at a 40 mike-mike is startling, bringing his mind back to his tours in Afghanistan. How crazy, he thinks, that he would leave the military behind only to be faced with the weaponry in his civilian life. It’s a lucky thing, Eddie supposes, that he’s here for this now. He has a particular skill set that can very well save this man’s life.

Bobby calls it in to the hospital as they wheel the gentleman across the lawn and get him loaded up into the back of the ambulance.

“We have a 65-year old male with large shrapnel in his right thigh. Femoral artery damage…”

It’s hard not to get caught up in the belief of destiny when this is the kind of call he responds to on his first day with the team.

The gentleman, Charlie, is essentially a ticking time bomb and as he speaks his fears of dying tonight aloud, Eddie is grateful to have Buck with him now. As he gets the drip set up, Buck is there to settle the older man down, assuring him that he’s going to survive the night. Buck glances to Eddie and in his eyes, he sees Buck’s confidence in him. Eddie isn’t expecting such faith from the man seeing as though they’ve only just met but it feels good, he won’t deny, to have someone believe in his capabilities.

More often than not Eddie feels as if he’s stumbling through his life just hoping for something to stick but situations like this are ones he tends to thrive in. The irony doesn’t escape him. Day-to-day life is a challenge. Matters of life and death bring out his sense of calm.

Eddie assesses the damage, quickly working through the best course of action. Charlie’s words slur and soon he’s under, giving Eddie and Buck the chance to work in absolute silence.

“Tell me what you need me to do,” is all Buck says as he settles in beside Eddie, looking to him expectantly.

Buck takes a backseat and follows Eddie’s instructions to the letter, clearly realizing that even though he’s been with the LAFD for however long, it’s Eddie’s experience as a military medic that can decide the fate of this man. It’s quite the test for them to have on their first day but Eddie is relieved to see they’re able to meet the challenge head on and work so well with one another.

Buck is good at reading the terrain and anticipating what he’ll need next, an invaluable skill to have in a partner, Eddie notes.

Eddie can feel Buck’s eyes boring a hole into him as he tries not to disturb the grenade too much. One false move and all three of them won’t make it. With clear knowledge and practiced hands, Eddie works carefully as he extracts the grenade from the man’s leg, with Buck continuing to keep pressure against area to prevent Charlie from bleeding out. Eddie has been through much worse, much more intense situations than this controlled environment but this scenario is still grave. He feels confident, however, in his element somehow and that clears his mind enough to successfully dislodge the grenade.

“Get that box open,” he says, though Buck is unsurprisingly already flipping open the lid beside him. They’re still not in the clear yet but the second he hears the contact of metal against metal, Eddie can’t help but to let out a shaky breath of relief.

Buck is beaming at him, a mix of wonder and disbelief on his sweaty face.

“I can’t believe you just did that,” Buck says.

“I can’t believe you’re still holding that thing and we’re still in here. Let’s go.”

Buck’s laugh is hearty and Eddie feels the timbre of it somewhere in the pit of his stomach, along with a strange tug of some kind. Eddie chalks it up to adrenaline and opens the door to the ambulance to make the hand off to the bomb squad.

“Hell of a first day, huh?” Buck notes as the ambulance pulls away, that playful smile on his lips again.

It’s growing on Eddie already, the way Buck acts as if the two are co-conspirators who share some kind of secret. It manages to draw him in and make him feel included in something even though this is all still so new. It’s been far too long since Eddie’s felt close to anyone, or even felt the inclination to let someone in. He’s used to keeping the world at an arm’s length but in just one day, Buck has managed to ease past those walls he’s been putting up. If he’s to keep to his objective for life in L.A., Eddie knows he has to do things differently this time around.

If that means forming a friendship with new his co-worker, he supposes it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to open himself up a bit more. The purpose of his move was to start over, to reinvent himself and grow. Eddie liked the idea of creating a new kind of family for himself. Judging by this trial by fire experience, Buck seems like the perfect starting point.

“Good work you two,” Bobby compliments as the pair take off the vests given to them by the bomb squad.

Eddie looks over at Buck and smiles. “He can have my back any day. I couldn’t have asked for a better a partner in there.”

It’s the honest truth. From their calls earlier, Eddie had gotten the distinct impression that Buck thrived off the high of rescuing people, of the danger in this profession. But when it came time to dial back and let someone take control of the wheel, he’d done so without question. They strike the perfect chord with each other and for Eddie, that bodes extremely well. Good chemistry was hard to come by but for them it’s organic. It feels like it’s been a lifetime since Eddie’s instinctively clicked with someone to this degree.

He supposes maybe this feeling is due largely in part to the fact that their kinship was just forged by fire. But if there were ever a measurement by which to set such a thing to, Eddie feels safe in saying this experience would bond them for a long time to come.

Buck smiles back at him, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“Or, maybe, you could have mine,” he counters. He gives Eddie’s shoulder a light squeeze. “Welcome to the 118. We’re damn lucky to have you.”

But Eddie hears a different set of words behind the ones Buck has just uttered.

Welcome to the family. This is where you belong.

~*~*~

As they hang around the loft between calls, Buck and Eddie settle around the table grabbing a quick bite. Eddie takes his phone out of his back pocket and sets it on the table. The screen comes to life and Buck’s eyes immediately take notice of Eddie’s lock screen. The image is of Eddie with a young boy, their cheeks pressed tightly together to fit into the frame. He doesn’t mean to be nosy but that’s a hard thing to miss.

Eddie notices, his expression soft as he looks at his phone.

“That’s Christopher,” he says. “My son.”

Buck sits up at this bit of information. Of all the things he’s been trying to imagine about Eddie, he hadn’t expected him to be a dad. Eddie unlocks his phone and pulls up a new photo and hands it to over to him.

Buck takes the phone, his smile almost as bright as Christopher’s in the photo. Chris has got a big grin on his face as he stands with the Ferris wheel at the pier in the background on a cloudless, sunny day.

“He’s ridiculously cute. How do you keep from spoiling him rotten?” Buck laughs, grinning at the photo for a beat longer before looking up at Eddie. “How old is he?”

“Just about nine actually. I can’t believe the years have been going by so quickly.”

Buck sucks in a breath. He’s been haunted by that precise length of time. It’s too coincidental not to mean what he thinks it does. Buck has been allowing himself to dive in slowly to the idea of claiming Eddie as his soulmate. Between the rush he felt when they first met to how natural they are with each other to this discovery that nine years ago Eddie had created a family supports his budding theory. This would explain perfectly why nine years ago he stopped getting updates to his marking.

It’s all matching up perfectly into place like a key in a lock. Buck just wonders what’s waiting on the other side of the door for him when he eventually pushes on it.

“Nine? That’s a fun age, right before the double digits kick in. Kids are such a blast,” Buck says, sitting back in his seat and handing Eddie back his phone.

“You like kids?”

“Oh, I love them. They’re way cooler than adults, that’s for sure. I like how they see the world, you know? They’re just taking it all in and learning about things for the first time. It’s awesome. Plus, they’re hilarious and rarely ever have a filter. You’ve got to respect that kind of honesty.”

Eddie smiles at him and Buck can’t help but to think his response passes some kind of test. Eddie looks satisfied with his answer, setting his phone back down and picking up his fork again, spearing a piece of fruit on the prongs.

“Judging by that picture I’m guessing he’s liking Cali a lot, huh?”

Eddie laughs. “You could say that again. He barely even mentions Texas. All he wants to do is explore the city. It’s been great for us, the move. I still have a few loose ends to tie up though.”

Buck raises a brow. He doesn’t want to push the matter too much but the statement intrigues him a bit.

“I’ve almost got his school situation figured out. I had a meeting a few days ago with the school coordinator but...,” he trails off, looking away. Buck isn’t sure he’s going to continue until he clears his throat and speaks. “They need to speak with Chris’ mom first. She has an interview with them tomorrow. If that goes smoothly, he should be enrolling with them.”

Buck shifts in his seat, his head erupting with questions about Chris’ mother. Whether they’re still together is the most pressing of them all. From Eddie’s tone and hesitancy, Buck can tell they aren’t on the best of terms. Eddie called her Chris’ mom, not his wife or partner. It’s a stretch but Buck is flexible enough to make it work.

“I haven’t seen her since the divorce but this is important. I really want Chris to get into this school. It’s perfect for him.”

Buck’s thoughts are split evenly in two, torn between the sheer relief in he feels in hearing Eddie isn’t married anymore and the concern he feels in seeing how worked up Eddie is over Christopher’s schooling.

“I’m sure her talk will go well. I know there’s a lot riding on this but she has to know that too and I’m sure she’ll crush the interview because of it.”

Eddie stares at him for a moment, his brown eyes meeting with his blue. Land and sea, Buck thinks, two components that make up a world.

“Thank you,” Eddie says simply but Buck feels the full weight of it.

“Anytime.”

~*~*~

Eddie’s fingertips drum an uneven beat against his knee as he waits for Shannon to show up. It’s ridiculous, he’s well aware, to feel this antsy over seeing a woman he’s known for almost half his life. But these last nine years, their relationship had risen and fallen like a heavy breath. Now that it was out of both their systems, Eddie isn’t sure how to function around her.

He keeps an eye out for her and rises awkwardly off the park bench as she approaches. He waves at her, trying to gauge what kind of mood she’s in from a distance. She’s got on a flowing yellow dress that makes her look like sunshine. Her smile is just as warm too.

Eddie relaxes at the sight of that and takes it as reassurance that this talk will go well. It’s strange seeing her now. She looks different to him and Eddie has to wonder if she sees changes in him too.

“How’d it go over at the school?” he asks as they both sit down.

Shannon sits back and stretches her legs out, letting them cross at the ankles.

“Pretty well. They seem excited to have Chris enroll. You picked out a great school for him.”

Eddie takes the compliment with a simple nod and a quiet word of thanks.

“How…how is he? Is Chris liking it out here?” she asks tentatively, dipping a toe into uncertain waters.

Eddie unclenches his jaw and nods. She’s making an effort and Eddie knows this can’t be easy for her, to be sidelined in her own child’s life. Even though she had made the decision to take time to find herself, Eddie can see that it’s taking its toll on her to be away from their son. He can extend a kindness, an olive branch of some kind by way of decent conversation.

“He loves it so much. I think he wants to live at the pier,” he muses. He’s taken Chris down a few times now just to watch the waves and enjoy the beautiful weather. “He’s doing really well here and honestly, it’s a relief,” he sighs.

When he’d told his family he was leaving, they’d gotten into his head a bit that uprooting Christopher from Texas could have a damaging impact on his son. But he knew better than they did about Chris’ resiliency and adaptability. Chris was the kind of person who could make himself comfortable anywhere. It was a trait Eddie prayed his son would never lose. He knew all too well what it felt like to struggle for a bit of semblance. Luckily, Chris didn’t seem to have that problem.

Shannon stays quiet and Eddie desperately wishes he could open up her mind and see the thoughts that live there. There’s an unnamed tension between them, an awkwardness that Eddie doesn’t know how to get around. He supposes, with their history, it makes sense but he wants better for them both.

He decides to switch gears. If they’re really going to have a clear road ahead, he needs to do whatever he can to show Shannon that they’re on solid ground now. It’s exhausting constantly being at odds with her. Now that they’re divorced and no longer confined to the box they’d shoved themselves into, they both have room to breathe and grow. Hadn’t that always been a wish he had for them? For the two to mend the bridge that had given way years ago? They are in a different place now and Eddie knows he has to adjust his outlook accordingly.

“I don’t want us to be angry or upset with each other anymore. I want us to…I don’t know, be better to one another than we have been in the past. I don’t think I can carry those feelings inside me anymore. It’s draining and I don’t have the energy for it. I never really did.”

This seems to be the right set of words because Shannon blinks back tears and smiles at him.

“I would love that.”

Eddie sighs in relief and this time the quiet that settles between them is comfortable.

“Can I ask you something kind of ridiculous and personal?” Shannon says, tucking one of her legs under her, fanning out her dress over her legs smoothly.

“Should I be afraid?”

She laughs and it feels good to be able to joke around with her again. These are tentative steps but it feels reassuring to think he could be on his way to getting his old friend back.

“Eh, it could go either way.” She pauses for a beat before continuing. “Have you met Eva yet? I’ve been thinking a lot about your move and imagining you finding her out here.”

Eddie thinks it says a lot about where their relationship left off that Shannon is so casual in discussing him with another woman, a soulmate at that. It’d been awkward for the both of them seeing the makings of names on each other that weren’t theirs. They’d never talked about it explicitly but Eddie figured it was just as strange for her to wrap her mind around as it had been for him during their nine years together.

“Actually, it’s Evan not Eva,” he drawls, trying to get used to the taste of the name on his tongue. His heart is racing with the confession. How much will this change the way she sees him?

Eddie doesn’t even look at her. He fumbles with his watch and takes it off, showing her the soulmate marking. They both stare in silence at his wrist. It had been a complete shock to his system when it appeared so he can’t blame her for being stunned over the news.

“Wow. Wow, that’s…I don’t have any other word,” she laughs.

Eddie turns to look at her then. She looks surprised, of course, but happy. Eddie’s brows furrow.

“Where’d you meet him?”

“I’m not sure exactly,” he says, flipping the inside of his wrist back over, pressing it against his thigh. “I’ve been trying to figure it out. I think he’s someone I bumped into outside of a coffee shop but I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since. I didn’t even see his face that day, actually.”

Shannon’s smile turns into a frown at this.

“Oh, Eddie. I’m sorry.” He can tell she really means it. “But at least you know he’s out there. Whenever you do find him, don’t let go.”

Eddie searches her face for a moment, looking into her eyes and for a fleeting moment his mind drifts to a different set of blue eyes, ones that he’s grown so accustomed to in the short time he’s been working at the 118. It’s a startling thought that seems to come from nowhere. Eddie does his best to cast it aside. Buck isn’t where his thoughts should be right now, despite the fact that the other man has been on his mind more and more as of late.

Shannon takes him in as well before she continues to speak.

“I know you, Eddie. I know you’re probably scared over the fact that this is actually happening for you. But please remember you deserve to be happy. Despite everything we’ve been through, or maybe because of it, all I want is for you to be able to let the right love in. Evan is your soulmate, whether you’re ready for it or not. When you meet for real, don’t run from it, please.”

It isn’t lost on Eddie that this is the second person in a little over a week to tell him not to be afraid of his destiny. The women in his life know him better than anyone else. There’s no hiding from his grandmother who always had a knack for understanding him since he was a child. And Shannon had cultivated a life with him. Eddie couldn’t avoid being known by either of them. He could hide and keep himself from the rest of the world but these two were in the rare category that could see through it all to the heart of him each and every time.

Eddie wipes at his eye and laughs nervously. “I don’t know if I’ll be good for him. I’m kind of still figuring things out these days.”

Shannon reaches out a hand and holds onto his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“That’s sort of the point of a soulmate though, isn’t it?” she says, peering at him, lifting a brow knowingly. “To love you unconditionally, no matter what kind of state you’re in?”

Eddie can’t refute this argument. He had always liked the idea of being able to turn to someone at the end of the day and speak openly about what he was feeling. He was able to do that with Shannon at times during their marriage, of course, but the tension between them made it hard for Eddie to cross the divide that lived with them sometimes. He imagined being with a soulmate would be the exact opposite, that even if they were upset with each other they’d still be a harbor for one another.

“I hate it when you’re right,” he jokes.

“You poor thing. Then you must be upset all the time,” she quips.

Eddie laughs, a real sense of elation he hasn’t had around her in some time solidifying in his chest. They still have a way to go but this first step was a crucial one and Eddie feels as if they’re finally moving in the right direction together.

~*~*~

Days like today have quickly become Buck’s least favorite. He knows he can’t expect to work every shift with Eddie but still, the times when they aren’t together begin to grate at him. He feels selfish for how badly he craves Eddie’s time and attention but he can’t help it. Soulmate or not, he’s genuinely been enjoying getting to know his new co-worker. The two have found an easy rhythm with each other since Eddie’s first day. Buck supposes nothing bonds two people together faster than saving the life of someone else.

With Eddie out for the day, Buck feels restless.

“Aww, is someone missing their new best friend?” Chimney teases as Buck flops back against the sofa in the loft. “Look at that pout, Hen. We can go diving off that lower lip.”

Buck tosses a cushion at him as Hen laughs at the two of them. Chimney lobs it back and jokingly flips him off, revealing his soulmate marking on his middle finger, the word Mad branded there. He thinks it’s the height of comedy. Buck has to agree it is pretty hilarious.

Hen nestles in beside him and pats the top of his head.

“Come on now. Buck up, Buck,” she muses. Chimney reaches over to give her a high five and Buck rolls his eyes playfully.

“A couple of comedians here.” He rises from his seat, ignoring their outcry for him to come back. They get over it quickly, starting up a new conversation by the time Buck makes it to the dining table.

They’re absolutely correct and Buck can’t even pretend to deny that. He’s gotten so accustomed to having Eddie around that a day without him just doesn’t feel right. He feels…unmoored somehow and Buck wishes he could have a definitive explanation for why that is. He has his theory, of course, but a proven hypothesis is what he longs for most of all.

The thought of asking Eddie outright what his first name is terrifies him. He doesn’t trust himself to have a neutral reaction if he were to hear it directly from Eddie’s lips. What he needs is a filter, a buffer of some kind to absorb his shock should his suspicion pan out to be correct.

Bobby is in the kitchen getting started on dinner.

“Hey, Cap,” Buck calls over as he goes into the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “What’s Eddie short for?”

As he closes the door to the refrigerator and looks to Bobby, the man has stopped chopping peppers and is standing still, looking at him.

“Why do you ask?”

Buck busies himself with twisting off the bottle cap but he can still feel Bobby’s eyes fixed on him.

“No reason; I was just wondering. I mean, I know I could ask him,” he says, hoping his tone is nonchalant. “But you’re here right now so…I figured you could answer just the same since you’ve seen all his paperwork and stuff.”

Bobby holds his gaze for a beat before returning to prep the meal and Buck is glad for it. Sometimes his captain just seemed to fix him with a stare that went right through him. There were so many things he didn’t want anyone else to see and Buck always had the feeling Bobby was skilled in noticing private things, even if he didn’t voice his findings out loud.

“His first name is Edmundo but, as you know, he prefers going by Eddie.”

Buck pretends not to notice Bobby’s eyes flickering up to him again. He just takes a sip of his water and nods.

“Cool,” he says, trying to keep his tone indifferent but inside Buck feels as if he can just about burst at any second. He isn’t sure which is racing faster, his heart or his thoughts.

Buck still can’t shake the feeling that he’s showed his hand in a way he can’t bounce back from but he couldn’t stop himself from asking the question. It’d been gnawing at him having this question mark dangling over his head. At least he could finally put that mystery to rest officially. If the cost of that information was making Bobby suspicious, it was a price he was willing to pay. Any bit of information that could bring him one step closer to certainty would be worth it, ten times over in fact.

But for the sake of not drawing Bobby’s eye too closely to the situation, Buck does his best to change Bobby’s train of thought, whatever track it may be on.

He reaches over the island and snags a piece of meat off one of the cutting boards. As he expects, the move is enough to shift Bobby’s focus. His captain swats at his hand and points his finger at him.

“What are you, a dog swiping scraps off the table?” Bobby jokingly reprimands, shaking his head. “You know, you really shouldn’t tick off the guy with a knife in his hand.”

Buck grins and wiggles his brows as he tosses the food into his mouth and walks away, successfully dodging a bullet and distracting Bobby from getting close to whatever conclusion he seemed to be gearing up towards.

It isn’t until he’s heading down the stairs, past Hen and Chim, and is safely on his own that his thoughts begin to spiral in earnest. His hands shake as he holds on to the railing to keep from losing his balance. He’s coming undone at the seams. This confirmation is too much for him and the worst part of all is that he has no one to talk to about it now.

Buck keeps moving forward, his legs working on their own accord to take him outside of the station. His body knows that what he needs is time to himself to process this information. Breathless, he presses his back against the side of the building, the surface hot but he doesn’t care. He needs the support of the brick wall to keep him standing. The question of who his soulmate was had plagued him for almost a decade and now that he has an answer, Buck isn’t even sure what to do with it.

He knew he felt drawn to Eddie, literally from the moment they met. He had sensed it. Buck was a personable guy; he got along well with virtually everyone but that instantaneous connection to Eddie felt different to him. Buck had wondered if he was just so keyed up on the idea that Eddie was meant for him, as if he had on rose colored glasses but the truth was, he had been seeing the situation for what it was exactly. That spark was a flare, an internal signal alerting him to the fact that something big was happening here.

Buck presses his fingertips against his ribs, the move so instinctual since the name first appeared. It’s like air to him now. He may not be able to see it but he knows it’s there. More often than not, it feels like the only thing sustaining him. Discovering that Eddie is in fact Edmundo is similar to learning the meaning of a word that you’ve come across often but never looked up. You’re aware of its existence but it’s abstract until knowledge is gained.

Buck’s eyes sting and he feels as if he could just scream. For as much as he hated the fact that Eddie has the day off, he’s glad to be away from him in this moment. He’s in no fit state to be around him now. He wouldn’t trust himself to keep from shouting the truth that’s desperately trying to claw its way free, demanding to be heard.

~*~*~

The station’s alarm blares, drowning out the sound of the simulation game Hen and Buck are playing. They drop their controllers and hop to their feet, ready to gear up.

“Hen and Chim, I need you two to ride over in the ambulance. Eddie and Buck, you’re with me. Let’s go, guys,” Bobby instructs.

The team doesn’t hesitate to fall into line with Bobby’s orders. Buck grabs his helmet and hurries to the rig, swinging open the door and climbing inside, Eddie right on his heels. Bobby has the truck pulling out of the station just a few seconds later.

As always when they’re sent out on a call, Buck’s adrenaline races wildly. He’s already trying to imagine what scenario they’ll find themselves in, coming up with tactics he could use to help those in need before even arriving at the scene. If he can be prepared in any way, even by way of a hypothetical simulation in his head, Buck will be grateful for it. Sometimes seconds is all it takes between making sure someone can return home to their families that day or them never seeing their loved ones again.

As Bobby cuts through the streets, his hand heavy against the horn at times, Eddie looks at his phone screen and purses his lips. Buck knows he shouldn’t pry but he can’t stop himself from speaking up, seeing how distressed Eddie’s expression is.

“Everything alright?” he asks over the headset.

Eddie glances up at him as if weighing what to say before he sighs.

“Not really. My aunt is saying she isn’t sure she can watch Chris next week like she thought she’d be able to. I need to find someone in case it turns out she can’t. I haven’t been meeting too many people out here and either way, I’d hate to have to ask that favor.”

Buck thinks for a second. “I know a woman who could help,” he offers up.

“Are you trying to play matchmaker?” Eddie jokes.

Buck resists the urge to grimace at this. Like he would ever deign to pair Eddie up with someone else, as if the man’s name hadn’t been branded on his skin for days now. Eddie was his, even if the other man was none the wiser. Buck wouldn’t compromise that for anything.

Regardless, that wasn’t even remotely close to where Buck was going with this conversation so he dismisses Eddie inquiry with a laugh and roll of the eyes.

“Not in the way you’re clearly thinking right now. Her name is Carla Price and she is possibly the most badass caregiver in the whole city.”

He skips over the details of how it is he came to know Carla. Abby hasn’t crossed his mind in ages and he’d rather not get hung up with her in the back of his thoughts.

“Wait, seriously? Do you think she’d be willing to meet with me?”

Buck nods and fishes his phone out of the inside of his jacket. He sends a quick text to Carla and she responds less than a minute later.

“She’s up for it. If you’re free tonight, she says she’s available to chat.”

The smile that washes over Eddie’s face makes Buck’s brain short circuit for a second. All he ever wants to do is keep Eddie in good spirits, to ensure his peace of mind however possible.

“Buck, I owe you. Whatever you want, it’s yours. Just say the word.”

Buck falters for the briefest of seconds before smiling to cover it.

“It’s nothing. I’m just glad I could help you out somehow.” His voice sounds different in his own ears but Eddie might be too distracted and overjoyed with the good news to notice it.

Buck bites back on the inside of his lower lip and glances away, unable to look at Eddie right now. He’s certain the truth of what he wants is written plainly on his face. He’s sick with want, filled to the brim with longing. It’s a wonder Eddie can’t hear the call Buck’s soul makes to his regularly.

He looks out through the small window in the back of the truck to see how close they are to the scene and to look at anything but Eddie. What he finds is that Bobby’s peering at him through the rear-view mirror before turning his focus back on the road. Buck can feel his cheeks flushing and is glad for the hot day to be the perfect cover for the sudden change in hue.

He wishes the comms had a private channel he could speak on. Bobby was too good at reading between the lines.

~*~*~

It’s the end of their workday and the team hangs about the station around their engine, recounting the day they’ve had. Hen is adjusting her shirt, her wife Karen’s name visible on her collarbone. Eddie wonders what it would be like to be that confident in showing his soulmate marking off. In theory he could do so at work but for nine years, Eddie has gotten into the habit of hiding it.

At first it had been to avoid throwing the reminder in Shannon’s face every single day. Now it’s just become second nature. If he’s being completely honest, there’s also a small part of him that isn’t ready to make that bold of a statement. He’s comfortable in his sexuality and clearly the 118 isn’t close-minded but he isn’t even sure what label suits him best. His soulmate marking calls into question a lot of things he’s suppressed over the years. Being in L.A. as a whole is dredging up those dormant feelings.

He’s had fleeting attractions to guys every now and then but these days he finds himself focusing on one guy in particular even though he knows he has no business feeling anything towards Buck. He’s his co-worker and nothing more. He can’t be anything else to him. Eddie’s already disregarded his soulmate marking once before. He can’t bear to go down that road a second time.

Sometimes, he’d try discreetly to see if by some strange miracle his name is on Buck’s body but to no avail. He’s constantly torn between thinking Buck is skilled at hiding it like he is with his own marking or that the truth is staring him in the face and they aren’t meant for each other. The latter is a terrifying thought, especially since Eddie has been quietly taking a real liking to the man already but it’s just as well. Eddie’s never been lucky in love. Why should that change now?

“You good, Eddie?” Hen asks, pulling him from his thoughts.

Eddie looks around at the group, their faces all expectant. He clears his throat.

“Yeah, just daydreaming, I guess.”

She regards him thoughtfully and her kind, concerned gaze is like a serum that manages to pull more words out of him.

“I just noticed your marking,” he says, pointing to his own collarbone. Hen breaks into a wide smile and places a hand over where her wife’s name is printed on her skin.

Eddie wishes he could have that sense of ease. The matter of soulmates has always been such a sensitive topic for him, a source of stress.

Hen must see something in his face because her head tilts a bit to the side.

“Have you gotten yours?” she asks.

Eddie glances around at the group. These people are supposed to be his family after all. He can trust them and speak as freely as he’s comfortable with.

“Yeah, but I don’t think it makes much of a difference either way.”

Buck looks affronted as Chimney and Hen share a glance.

“Why do you say that?” Chim asks, leaning a shoulder against the side of the truck.

Eddie shrugs, struggling with the right words as he always seems to do any time he talks about something so personal.

“It feels a little too good to be true when you stop to consider it. Maybe for some folks it works out perfectly, like for you and Karen. But, I’m not so sure that’ll be the case for me. My soulmate and I have already gotten off on the wrong foot, I think. It’s…complicated,” he settles on saying.

“Like a Facebook status?” Chim interjects.

Hen presses her fingertips to her forehead, dropping her head down. “You’ll have to excuse him. His foot has a habit of landing in his mouth. There’s no cure for it, unfortunately.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “I’m just not in a rush to find them right now is all. If it happens, great. If not, it’ll be alright too. I guess I’m good with just playing it by ear, you know? Whatever happens, happens.”

That’s the mantra he’s been adapting for himself now. Evan has been elusive since the man’s name first appeared on his flesh. Every day he’s had to look down and see it plastered on his skin but still he is nowhere near closer to finding him than he’d been on day one.

Chimney shrugs and nods in understanding. “I get that, too. I mean, they’re our soulmates, right? They’ll turn up. I’m just happy to know it’s going to happen,” he laughs, looking at the budding marking on his finger.

Buck rises from off the back bumper of the truck suddenly, making everyone in the cluster look over at him.

“I really gotta get going, sorry, guys,” he mumbles, saying something else Eddie doesn’t catch.

Eddie frowns, unsure of what to make of Buck’s changing mood and apparent hurry to get home. Hen and Chimney look just as confused too as Buck hooks his duffle bag onto his shoulder and starts to walk straight ahead.

“See you tomorrow?” Eddie calls after him but he doesn’t think Buck hears him for the man does not reply.

#buck x eddie #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #sulkybbarnes #rafasilvas #bisexualbuck #starlightbuck #athenagrantt #userbones #tylerhunklin #captainstennerstar #maysgrant #userkinga #kimmy writes

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anyu-blue · 3 years

Text

So a friendship ended... But luckily in this case it's absence leaves room for better things to grow.

I was rambling in the tags of my previous reblog, but yeah...

'friend' decided that Empathy and Sympathy mean the same thing, that I am not, in fact, an empath/able to put myself in others' shoes/sometimes unwilling pulled or made to feel things against my will (experience things that aren't may own), that NO ONE could feel what he feels or know what he's going through, that I have a messiah complex, that he 100% wants something (that I, being me, cannot/will not provide), and that families and friends cannot possible hold one another accountable/truly be honest with each other.

I have tried very hard for months to be patient with this man. Tried very hard to be a good friend and more. Tried very hard to give him the benefit of the doubt too. But, well, he isn't worth my time and effort I've decided.

Maybe I'm wrong in that I'm an empath and I've just got another form of psychosis. I fully admitted it was a possibility... But I was honestly helped by people being willing and able to kindly explain how they could put themselves into my shoes almost perfectly and WERE me at one point- with all my experiences and feelings... Not with the same names and faces of course, but knowing my experiences aren't so unique and I wasn't so alone as I thought was such a comfort to me. And it certainly feels like I can do the same that they were describing of being in others' shoes.. and that sometimes too it's involuntary..

Of course I was a stubborn teenager at the time I was being told all of this and going through that teenagery 'you don't know what it's like!!' stage... But I learned. I was able to step back and take stock when my hormones weren't flying all over the place (made worse by an undiagnosed hormone disorder at the time (woo nonbinary body!), but I still managed with help and good role models)... I'm sad my former friend never got that and can't clearly draw understanding of stuff like that. He's into his 30s so, well.. it's harder. I get that. In a few years almost on the dot I'll be 30 myself. I know how much harder some of this stuff is now that I'm very much an adult vs when I was a teen.

According to him though... Yes. Empathy and Sympathy are the same thing. Completely overlooking that Sympathy is having a common feeling and being able to feel sorry for someone... And empathy is SHARING a feeling and being able to experience/feel what it is that's being gone through- not just feel sorry (And I'm explaining it this way because he pulled up Definition number two of Sympathy and Definition one of empathy from google and demanded to know how they were different- common vs sharing is definitely a key difference in those Definitions... And Empathy's specified it was an ability on top of that so... Hmm). I wasn't there for that type of ignorance.

Next is the idea that his experience is SO unique I couldn't possibly understand and then his demand of me to explain how he felt if I 'thought I could'. Okay, first of all it's is heckin' RUDE to demand your friends explain how they could 'possibly know' how/why you're bothered by Something... But I did try- after telling him I wanted an apology for him being so rude as to demand that... he half apologised and mostly went into detail about his woeful feelings.... And yet when I told him I made my reply/explanation much earlier in the day and copy/pasted it to our chat from my Docs (which, to be fair, matched what he said incredibly well) he told me that I was 'just regurgitating' what he told me about how he felt. Um... You asked me how you felt and then I told you what it feels like to go through what you're going through and why it's so bothersome (because I've BEEN there myself?)... Only for you to tell me I don't understand and I'm just echoing you rather than feeling anything? Um?? Empathy is FEELING what YOU feel??? Hello??? And you asked me to describe it??? WTF? I wasn't there for THAT either.

And then he had the idea to accuse me of having a messiah complex (because he 'had one too when [he] was younger and had to learn People weren't worth saving'). Okay. I didn't 100% get what that was/didn't entirely trust my gut feeling on the Google Definition... So what did I do? I googled it. And then I asked my sister (without context) if she thought the description matched me before I replied. According to Google and my sister and the rest of my family... I do not have a messiah complex. Not the first Definition of believing to have some calling or right to heal people, nor the second Definition of believing to be responsible for helping people... As I told him I only offer bits and pieces of advice and different outlooks on the same situation because I am trying to be a good friend. Sure I HOPE it'll be helpful or someone might gain Something from it- but I'm not Sharing because I BELIEVE it will solve the problem or that I'm responsible for fixing someone (I know the line is fine and blurry, but I s2g caring for a friend by sharing stuff and believing you HAVE to help someone are TOTALLY different things)... People sharing their experiences and what works for them to help them not be so miserable is what has helped me throughout my life... it's a mark of my best friends. And I truly don't understand some social cues of how sometimes sharing advice or ideas or memories even ISN'T needed, wanted, or helpful... Obviously. (Because I'm clearly neurodivergent- uh, hello?! Can't 100% help it but trying my hardest?!)....

But according to him... I'm just blind and needed to be knocked down a few pegs rather than thinking I'm so great and could possibly understand him/anyone else... Okay. Not here for that.

I admitted to him that sure... Some of my own experiences bleed into empathetic episodes. It happens!! Like when he's told me multiple times that he's been left out with his family (no one shares information or events beyond what's ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED with him- won't tell him a family member is dying but will talk about Christmas sort of deal) and is a black sheep (different political/life views and feelings of only being tolerated) the ways he has... I put my own experiences of being neglected/abandoned into that. He swears he had always been loved and never felt alone/mistreated by his family (even though he's the one who described these things and Is partially why the feelings of abandonment popped up as I went into his shoes more or less-- but hey. Mistakes happen as do unintentional bleeds. I get that it's not perfect because ultimately I'm still me even when experiencing others. I can and will admit to skewing some things like so on accident if it's true.. but I refuse to believe I understand absolutely nothing at all when we are ALL human and typically have emotions and certain reactions to certain things. Most of us REALLY aren't THAT unique!! Sorry.. it's extremely true based on science's understanding/research anyway).

One of the last things he said to me after accusing me of the messiah complex was he just wants me to 'listen and agree' with him about stuff instead of telling him about my/other ways of looking at things, telling him he's off the mark, or trying to help with the misery.... When previously (and over and over and over) having demanded my absolute honesty and having said he appreciates what I do.... I will not lie to him and say he's right in what he's doing or does with a given situation if he's wrong or looking at it through a lens. Duh. That's 'bad' friend stuff. And sure I can listen no problem!! IF I am told outright/first that what he's saying is JUST a vent and not supposed to be a conversation at all. I've mentioned I need that sort of thing!! If it's just a vent, tell me!!! I'll stfu and listen knowing that... But I'm SORRY I CANNOT just outright TELL. It's not a skill I have!! I HAVE been attempting to get better at it... But anyone can tell you text is especially HARD. Especially when we DO have a conversation about it? A back and forth? And you NEVER once say 'i don't want your take. I just want you to listen.' Even my own sisters and I have to stop ourselves and go... Hey... I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm just venting. And then everything gets so much easier!!! And if we can open with that- 'hey, can I vent to you?' OMFGGGGGGGG it's SO much EASIER!!!

... and yet still.. following that... I am INCREDIBLY LUCKY... Because in venting or in sharing and asking for advice and more... MY family is made up of the type of people who can step back and be unbiased!!! And we can stop each other and TELL each other if we are, in fact, fucking up!!! I mean sure... There's always going to be that love and desire for better for one another... Be ALL of us are under the impression that sometimes the people we love are WRONG and sometimes they are BAD no matter how much we don't want them to be.. and it's far kinder to be honest and take the 'right' side than to give each other all the quarters we want. We cannot learn and/or grow if we cannot hold each other accountable... And Sharing experiences and saying why is designed to be a kindness no matter if it actually helps them or not.. But guess what my 'friend' thought of that? ROFL I was obviously under the incorrect impression and my family will always take MY side simply because I'm family...

In the end...

I do NOT need a 'friend' like that. Who questions everything I do, demands more of me/everyone than I/anyone can provide, who cannot and will not learn or be open to learn in any form, and who takes - dude, you're pissing me off. Fuck off for the night and maybe we can talk again in the morning once we've both gotten sleep- as a 'challenge' to prove this that or the other thing and attack their friend... What the ever loving FUCK is WRONG with you?!

... if you want to know what started this whole thing... He was complaining that none of his friends 'will' hang out with him anymore. Totally understandable to feel awful and lonely (and everything I described to him that he demanded I do)...

But he kept taking it father saying people always changed their schedules on purpose or clearly had nothing else going on in their lives but avoided him anyway and stuff like that... And I dared to question and suggest that some of us DO have good reasons for canceling and not spending the time he wants/needs... That some of us have offered compromises that have never been enough but we still try and SOMETIMES life really DOES just get in the way!!! Like my being sick all the time!! I don't WANT to stay cooped up in my house every day fearing even a passing cold will knock me off my feet!! But dude!! I HAVE to!! And People don't USUALLY demand schedule changes!! It usually kinda gets thrust upon them!! Hello??? Don't we live in america where that's WIDELY KNOWN?! Where sometimes people CAN'T take what little spare time they have and spend it on YOU?? ESPECIALLY during a PANDEMIC and other big changes??? That sometimes that time NEEDS to be taken up with simple pleasures like a single player game in their own home?! Don't People USUALLY have reasons for their habits too? Prerogatives/needs that they don't or can't share with others during those habits because MAYBE it's what they need and you just happen not to be a part of it but could be if you actually ASKED what was going on?! Or idk... LISTENED to what they're telling you about WHY-- especially when you yourself admit you are the ODD one who needs other people physically around to recharge (where most other people don't/only get more exhausted)?!

In the end... I did tell him that sure... If he's treating his other friends like this (which clearly he was treating me pretty darn awfully) then maybe YEAH some of them do it on purpose. We already know how younger brother (my ex) does and that he's not exactly shy about that. Friends may do it on purpose eventually- especially if he's treating People awfully and accusing them of doing it on purpose when they DON'T have control over it... Maybe they WILL migrate to doing it on purpose because of the accusations and inability to make him believe life is just messy sometimes!! But they don't want to lose an occasionally really great friend (because good or bad losing a friend is HARD on the mind and body) and/or don't see how manipulated they are?

In which case... He deserves it. Just like he deserved my wrath (at least in part- I was told I took it a bit too far in that I didn't block him sooner. I did make that mistake for sure XP) when he decided to be so fucking rude to me and then piss all over my efforts to try and be what constitutes a good friend.

Fuck you, dude. You're clearly not worth my time.

And of course the very very last word he had was 'you deserve better friends than I am right now.'

Which, while true and would have been sweet, is something I know (and he has admitted to in the past) is a 'feel sorry for me' tactic. It's not 100% true remorse any more than 'oh no I fucked up and don't want to deal with the consequences of my fucking up, maybe this will get them to feel sorry and let me do it again/get away with it.' I've used it too and understand the tactic all too well. So again I say and know he's not worth my damn time.

Without him in that space of my life... I have more room for others and especially more for myself. I don't need that toxicity. I've been that person too and I know it. I still have my days. And yet it's still okay and good I've walked away.

Fuck you, dude. You're clearly not a friend for me.

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #drama #long post #text post #bad friends #bad match #tw arguing #anger tw #I'm not perfect. and i dont say that so i can get away with shit #i mean it. I'm not perfect. i will never be even as i strive for more/better things #I'm just as human and just as flawed and no higher or lower than anyone else #but that doesn't mean i have to take this konda stuff laying down #good riddance #drama tw #unhealthy relationships

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 5 years

Text

Bad Dreams

Based off of this request: Hello! I want to request a writing (again, since you’re so talent💖) about the reader waking up in the middle of the night after a bad dream. She’s sad. Then, she starts to feel safe when she hugs Harry, but she’s crying because she’s so grateful to have Harry in her life and eventually, Harry wakes up and comforts her. Thank youu!!

Thank you to @msmarian94 for requesting!

I’m putting a triggering warning here because I went pretty in depth with this and some of the scenes are very detailed and can trigger some people (including me which is why i took a while with this) but if you are uncomfortable with this please don’t read! i have other stories you can find on my page or send me an ask or message to request anything! <3

*gif not mine but look how cute he is*

It was when you felt like you were in front of a pit of fire when you knew you were dreaming.

It was when you felt yourself running out of breath when you knew you were dreaming.

It was when you felt tears streaming down your face when you knew you were dreaming.

Dreams are a very interesting concept. Once you close your eyes, you’re taken far from reality than you can ever imagine. It’s given the opportunity for a break from real life so you wouldn’t have to worry about anything for maybe 6-8 hours (if you’re lucky).

But in your case, when these dreams do happen, you’re guaranteed 3 hours of sleep, and if it’s your lucky day, an extra hour.

It’s particularly you’re enemy and a nightmare. These dreams started when you were younger; dreaming about real things that were scary and felt so real. You remember the first time it happened when you were about 11 years old.

There was water everywhere. Coming in from all corners and you couldn’t get out. You were in some room in a house, but it was more like a box since there was nothing in that room; just the four walls, you, and the water. It felt as if you were trapped in a box and the box was being torturously slow as it was entering the big body of water. The water was rising and rising as you banged on the walls of the box, screaming to get out.

“Help! Please!” You continued pounding the surface. Tears began to stream down your face in frustration. Your head started to hurt from your screams that it made you feel dizzy and nauseated.

“Please, no. Help me, please!” You screamed at the top of your lungs as the water was already up to your chest. You felt the box moving lower and lower that it was up to your chin.

“Mommy! Please!” You cried for your mother, begging her to help you. You tilted your head up as the water had about a few inches left before you drown. As you feel the box moving lower, you take a deep inhale from the little space you have, and lower yourself so that you’re underwater.

As you’re underwater, you’re still trying to break your way out by kicking and pushing the walls, but you have no luck. You’re not sure when you’re going to run out of air, but you know it’s soon.

You’re floating in the tiny box as you feel your vision blacking out on you. You blink a few times to regain conscious, but everything goes black.

You’re suddenly feel yourself being brought back to life and let out a huge exhale.

“Baby, oh my. Are you okay?!” You see your mom right by your bed, holding on to your face. You don’t reply, simply because you can’t. You’re still trying to regain and control your breathing as sweat and tears drip from your face.

“You were calling for me—screaming for me, and I ran as soon as I woke up and heard. Nearly scared me to death when I opened my eyes. What happened?” She rambles on as you blink a few times at her. You don’t know if you’re alive or if you’re dead, and if you’ve just been brought to the light.

“Mom.”

“Yes, sweetheart. I’m here.” She brushes your hair back from your sticky forehead.

“You’re here.” She nods at you, and you nod ever so slightly, the gesture reassuring you.

After that moment when you were 11, the reoccurred almost every week. Luckily, it’s once a week; sometimes it’ll be twice a week, but no more than two times a week.

It was something you had to live with. Something you had to sleep with. After the week would end and then comes around Sunday—the start of the week, you wouldn’t fall asleep. Not like you wanted to anyway. So there would definitely be many sleepless nights because of your dreams.

You were scared of sleeping. It’s not something you should be scared of, especially when you’re entering your teens and you need to sleep to help you grow as well.

You didn’t know why they happened or what they meant. You lived a very fortunate life and you’re grateful for it.

When you were around 18, your parents thought it would be best to see a therapist to see how you react when you hear or tell her things. But she came back to you with normal results, and that she couldn’t detect anything. So you just had to live with it.

This kind of changed your personality and mood for everything. You felt closed off to most people—not really wanting to talk or just being shy. You don’t speak much anymore when you were a chatty bird when you were younger. It affected your mood when you didn’t get enough sleep. You were moody and practically rude to everyone, even when you don’t mean to.

When uni came around, you were a bit nervous to attend and dorm, but your parents and counselor encouraged you because maybe you needed a change of environment. You were nervous because if you do dorm and the dreams happen, your poor roommate would have to wake up to that, and you didn’t want that to happen. So, your parents were nice enough to get a small apartment (halfing the price with them since you’re working) near campus so that you would experience living alone and that no one would experience seeing you in that state. They were uneasy about that to say the least. They knew how bad the dreams could get that you could practically die from them, but with much convincing, they caved in.

For the first two weeks of moving in, you didn’t sleep. Sure, you took naps here and there, and you would doze off, but nothing more than 2 hours. You’ve trained your mind and body to not go over that number. It was a safe time limit for you to not have them, and so far, it’s working out for you. You haven’t had any in two weeks, and despite the lack of sleep, you felt like you were well rested.

Although it seems as if you’ve gotten the sleep part down, it really didn’t change how your personality. You were still a shy girl as you were several years ago. You weren’t as moody because you haven’t had any bad dreams, but the lack of sleep was practically killing you.

“Hey.” Someone breaks you out from dozing off. You blink a few times and look around you, noticing you’re in the library. You look up at the person in front of you, seeing him look at you with a small smile.

“Hi.” You say shyly.

“I saw you dozing off and didn’t want people to look at you weirdly, or get kicked out. So, I decided to wake you up.” He smiles softly. He looked familiar, but you couldn’t figure out where you’ve seen him before.

“Oh, uhm, thank you.” You quickly gather your stuff, and you see him slightly panicking.

“You don’t have to leave now! I was just here to wake you up. Doesn’t mean you have to leave or anything. I’m sorry if you think I’m a creep or-”

“No, I don’t think that. Thanks for waking me up, genuinely. I have to get going though, so I’ll see you around, I guess.” You grab your things and walk away. You turn around to give him a last look and smile.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in bio.”

That’s where you’ve seen him.

You go to class the next week to see a familiar face, who you’ve learned his name is Harry. You debate sitting next to him, but seeing as you actually know no one at uni, you don’t think it’ll harm anyone if you make friends with him. So, you walk over to his seat to find him already smiling at you.

“I-Is this seat taken?” You’re extremely nervous to even be talking to him, so it was bold of you to ask him.

“Yeah, it is.” You feel your face turning red and you frown slightly. You whisper a ‘sorry’ before turning around. He stops you before you get a chance to walk away. “I’m so sorry, that was a joke—a terrible one at that. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I feel horrible. But you can definitely sit here.” He genuinely feels bad that he made a joke, but you brush it off and take a seat next to him.

And it was like that for the rest of the semester. You two were seat buddies. He would save you a seat if he got to class first, and vice versa. You don’t know if you considered him as a friend since you two had only talked inside of class, but it was the most you’ve ever talked to someone, especially knowing them for so long (as in 4 months).

By the end of the semester, Harry finally had the balls to ask you to hang out with you outside of class, which you agreed. Although, it took you about three minutes to believe that he wanted to hang out with you, he reassured you that it was you he wanted to spend his time with.

After two months of hanging out (as friends), he grew another set of balls to ask you out on a real date, which then again took you about four minutes to believe that too. But once again, he reassured you and kissed your forehead; to which you blushed at.

After the fourth date, he asked you to be his girlfriend, and you shyly said yes. You’ve never been happier.

After seven months of being an official couple, you finally let him sleep with you. Sexually, you two done it four months in. But having a sleepover, it took you awhile.

You had told him about the dreams you’ve had (which since the time you started uni, they come about twice to three times a month, so they’re still happening), but not in extreme detail. You’ve just mentioned how it’s sometimes hard for you to sleep. He just doesn’t know how bad it is.

During the months, you’ve dreamt about your apartment burning down, to which you woke up coughing your lungs out. You’ve dreamt about the ceiling collapsing on top of you; you woke up gasping for air as it seemed like it was practically crushing you, causing you to lose your breath. You’ve dreamt about looking down into the ocean as you were standing on top of a cliff, but jumped in a dark room; you fell off the bed and hurt your elbow.

He doesn’t know how you could practically die from these dreams.

“I’m so excited, love!” He presses a kiss to your cheek as he jumps into bed.

“Me too.” You giggle, practically lying to his face because you weren’t excited at all.

“Can’t wait to wake up with you in my arms.” He wraps his arms around you and cuddles up to you. You both say goodnight as he places his face in your neck. You feel hot breaths on your neck and soft snores as you scratch his arm lightly. You try staying awake as much as possible just so he doesn’t have to witness you in such a state.

You feel yourself drifting in and out of sleep. Harry eventually got off of you and laid on his side, his back facing you as you were on your back, leaving a space in between you two.

Once you feel your eyes shutting, you knew there was no going back.

“Harry, please.” You cry into your hands. You hear the front door open and slam shut loudly.

“Hey.” He says casually as if he doesn’t see you sobbing your eyes out.

“Hi. I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve been so scared-”

“I’m not staying. I’m just getting my stuff, then I’m leaving.” He quickly walks to his stuff and grabs all his belongings.

“W-Where are you going?”

“Gotta go to school, love. See you later.” Before you know it, he’s out the door.

You quickly run to the door and open it to be met with nothing. It’s dark and there’s no hallway. You close the door immediately and run to the window. You open the blinds to see the same thing behind that door: nothing. You run to the bathroom window and take a peek at it to find nothing, and you run back to the living room. You sit on the couch and start crying, suddenly feeling like everything is closing in on you and you couldn’t breath. You look up to see the walls slowly moving towards you, closing the space between you and the wall.

“No, no, no. Please.” You stretch your arms out, seeing if it'll help with the space, but the walls keep pushing in, leaving absolutely no space. You’re practically shoulder-to-wall and head-to-wall, and it’s driving you insane. You’ve never felt so suffocated in your life. You can’t even bang on the wall to call out for help because that’s how tight the walls are to your body. You couldn’t move, so you just stand there helpless, while screaming your life out.

You wake up with sweat all over your body and you feel your eyes stinging, probably from crying in your sleep. You put your hand on your chest, feeling your heart going crazy. You’ve never felt so helpless in a dream, but it also seems like it’s reflected to your reality. You feel helpless when it comes to these; you don’t know what to do about them. And the thought just makes you want to cry all over again.

You turn to look at Harry, glad to see him in the same position and get up and quietly go to the restroom, grabbing a towel to wipe off the little sweat off your body. You wash your face to calm you down, and you take a few breaths before climbing into bed again.

You slowly cuddle up behind him with little movements as much as possible. You place your arm around his waist. As much as you didn’t want Harry to be in bed with you when the dreams happen, you’re glad that he’s present next to you. You’re also glad that he’s still asleep and you didn’t disturb him from your possible stirring.

Being with Harry made you feel so happy. You couldn’t believe that he was in love with you; it shocked you everyday. He knows to reassure you all the time because it you were so to yourself in the beginning. You were scared to fall, but when you finally fell, he was there to catch you. Your heart feels so heavy with love and admiration that you start to cry as you hold him a little tighter while placing your head on his shoulder, sobbing quietly.

You feel Harry move slightly and you try not to move. He turns around in your arms, so he’s face to face with you, and he puts his arm around your waist. This whole time you’re watching him get comfortable next to you.

Harry woke up slightly while moving, and felt someone staring at him. He slowly opened his eyes to be met with you looking at him with tears in your eyes. He notices how red your eyes are, how damp your cheeks are, and how you sniffle. All he’s thinking about his how long you've been crying without him knowing.

“Love? What’s wrong? How long have you been crying?” You shake your head. He holds your face and rubbed his thumb across your cheek, wiping your tears.

“I know it’s not nothing, but I just want to know why you didn’t wake me up when you started crying.” You shift closer to him so you’re under his head, face on his chest.

“Had a bad dream.” Harry doesn’t say anything for a moment. This would be the first time he’s there when it happened.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” He says as he starts rubbing your head.

“Didn’t want to disturb you.” Your face is practically smuggled into his chest, so he can feel your breath on his skin when you talk.

“Hey, don’t worry about me okay? When this stuff happens, I want you to wake me up so I comfort you, alright?” He feels you nod against his chest. “Do you want to tell me about it or are you uncomfortable doing so?” You’ve always loved that about Harry; he made sure you were always comfortable, even in the littlest things like talking about a certain topic.

“I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I...was crying and you came in like you didn’t even notice I was crying, and just walked out. T-Then the room started closing in on me, literally, and I was trapped in a tiny box.” You explain softly without crying.

“Oh, love. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I promise you I would never neglect your feelings.” Immediately, you feel relieved to hear that. Although, you know that he would never, you really needed to hear that after your dream. “I wish that didn’t happen to you. You don’t deserve that at all. I want you to see me in your dreams as a happy thought, not something like that.” Harry says as he looks down at you. You look up at him, seeing him frown, which makes you sad.

“I always see you as a happy thought. Don’t worry, this doesn’t change how I see you. You’ve already shown me you care and love about me, and that’s all I ever ask.” You rub his back lightly.

“I’m glad. I love you so much.” He kisses your forehead, making butterflies swarm in your stomach.

“And I love you. Thank you for understanding.” You kiss his chest, making him blush.

“Of course, baby. Maybe we can look into more in the morning? See if we can find someone to help you. I know you’ve talked to someone a few years ago, but I don’t want you to be scared to fall asleep.” Just by hearing him want to help you, it’s making you fall deeper in love with him. You smile and nod at him about to say more, but he beats you to it. “Let’s try and get some sleep, yeah? Or would you rather we do something else?” You see a smirk already planted on his face causing you to shake your head.

“Oh, Styles. What am I going to do to you?”

requests are open!

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles ff #1dff #harry styles request #older writings

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wlw-in-space · 4 years

Note

You should make an oneshot or like explain how it was when Lena first took Little!Luthor in and how r met all the superfriends in the process. Would love to see like a backstory on how r and lena’s bond grew :). ( since you mentioned in the kidnapping fic that in the very beginning r wasn’t used to the touchy affection )

Lex.

Lex had never been involved in your life.

Before he had been sent to prison, you would see him occasionally on holidays when he came to visit Lilian but he would never pay you any attention because he simply just didn’t care enough.

He said he did, but you knew he didn’t.

Lena leaves for college.

You remembered the day Lena left to college.

Not very clearly, but you still remembered.

You were young, seven or eight probably.

Lena had been your best friend up until that point. She knew more about you than anyone and you loved her unconditionally.

She was the perfect big sister.

Lilian didn’t seem to like her very much, though, and you could never figure out why.

Either way, you begged Lilian to let you go to the airport with Lena to say goodbye.

Lilian didn’t want to deal with you being a pain for not letting you say goodbye at the airport, so she reluctantly agreed.

When it was time for Lena to leave, she crouched down to be eye level with you and pulled you in for a tight hug.

In return, you clung to her tightly, “I’ll miss you, Lee. Please come visit.” You said tearfully.

“I promise I’ll come visit, honey. Okay?” Lena released you and brushed away your tears, smiling sadly. “I love you, little one.” She kissed your cheek and stood, waving goodbye to Lilian and blowing you a kiss before she turned down a corner and you couldn’t see her anymore.

As soon as you and Lilian got back in the car, she scolded you for crying like a baby.

Growing up is lonely.

Since Lena was in college and Lex was doing god knows what, you pretty much grew up only being around Lilian.

She wasn’t a good mother, that was for sure.

If you thought she treated Lena badly, she treated you ten times worse.

She was fed up with you and she had never wanted another kid in the first place.

Lilian never failed to tell you that, to remind you of how annoying you could be, to scold you constantly, to tell you to grow up.

You did though. You matured extremely fast and something about that bothered you.

Your innocence had been stolen by your own corrupted family and your mother at its core.

Reuniting with Lena.

The longest you went without seeing Lena after she had left for college was a year and a half.

The reason for that was mainly because she and Lilian had been arguing and Lilian told her that if she bothered coming to visit for the holidays, there was no way she would see would let her see you anyways, so there was no use in coming.

You of course didn’t know that until one day Lena called you on the phone and explained in depth the reason why you wouldn’t be seeing her for a while.

You knew she was upset about it, that much was clear. You could hear it in her voice. That didn’t exactly stop you from feeling upset though.

It was ‘funny’ enough that the next time you did see Lena was when Lilian got arrested.

It was odd for her to see you again. You weren’t the little ray of sunshine and hug machine she’d once shared a home with.

Yeah, when she used to visit you would greet her with a big hug and be attached at the hip, but even when she did visit, you were lucky if she stayed four days at a time and that wasn’t very much anyway.

The only times you had gotten affection was from Lena visiting and spending a whole year and a half completely alone made you unused to people being close to you and getting affection from people.

You were excited to see her though, you’d missed her a lot, you just didn’t know how to express that as well as you used to.

Lena was at the manor in a short two hours once Lilian was in prison.

She’d expected that when she’d gotten there that you would be overjoyed to see her and you guys would have a sweet moment together but that wasn’t exactly what happened.

You smiled when you saw her and waved a little.

Lena rushed over to hug you but faltered a bit when you seemed reluctant to get up.

You noticed and felt badly, so you stood and hugged Lena, sighing softly as you felt her familiar arms hold you close to her, as if you could be taken from her at any second.

It didn’t take long for Lena to realize how you’d tensed up, and she took that as a sign to give you a bit of space.

—

Playing catch-up.

You guys caught up on each other’s lives quickly. There wasn’t really much to say about your own life, since you didn’t do much with Lilian breathing down your neck constantly and being a Luthor, you barely had any friends and had only dated like, three people (and all three of the relationships ended badly).

Since you were older now, Lena told you about how boarding school was for her, and it seems like she was having a much better time that you were or would ever have.

There were times when people would bother her about being a Luthor, but she still had friends and she dated and nothing really stopped her from living her life and being herself in school.

It was clear that Lena felt bad for you. She seemed to look worried while you talked about school and how the people there treated you.

At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel a little at fault, since she was the reason a bunch more attention is being drawn to the Luthors.

“Hey, uh, it’s not your fault,” You said suddenly after Lena had been quiet for a couple of minutes.

“Sorry?” Lena raised a brow, confused at the sudden conversation.

“It isn’t your fault that your experience with the Luthors was better than mine. I just wanted to remind you that, in case you forget or something,” You shrugged.

—

Rushing through high school.

After about a week of living in Lena’s penthouse, you were starting to get more used to being around her.

You weren’t going to school because for the last year, you’d been homeschooled due to all of the drama and conflicts with Lilian.

Since you literally had no friends, you spend your time studying, and sped through two and a half years of high school.

You went with Lena to L-Corp, she didn’t want to leave you alone yet, and while you were there you worked on finishing your last year of high school.

—

The first time you hugged Lena yourself.

It was hard to stop yourself from hugging Lena. You really wanted to.

Sometimes you just wanted to be held in someone’s arms and feel safe and protected.

When Lena got home from work you were sitting at your desk in your room with your history homework in front of you. You’d stayed home because you knew she had to go to the DEO for the majority of the day and you didn’t want to have to talk to anyone besides Lena yet.

You hadn’t managed to get any work done all day, which was unusual because you were usually productive.

Instead of working, you’d spent the day thinking of how much better of a mother Lilian could’ve been, if Lena had taken you with her to National City when she first moved, if Lex wasn’t insane and he’d been a good big brother, if your family was normal, how completely alone you had been for years.

When she came to your room to say hi, your eyes were wet but you weren’t crying.

You turned and looked at her standing in your doorway for a few seconds before getting up and walking over to her, stopping right in front of her.

Her expression softened and right before she opened her mouth, you threw your arms around her neck and pulled her as close to you as you could.

You felt her let out a breath as she wrapped her arms around your waist slowly, not wanting to startle you.

Lena almost found herself crying, so happy that you’d finally hugged her, but concerned nonetheless.

“Is everything okay?” She asked you, quietly as she rubbed your back gently.

“I don’t want to feel alone anymore,” Was all you had to say for her to hug you just a little tighter.

—

Working on your relationship.

After that, you and Lena became closer.

You started to bond more and both of you loved it.

The two of you established a movie night on Thursday night and after a bit of convincing, Lena was able to persuade you to agree to meet her friends.

That was in a week or two though.

Enchanted was the first movie you guys had decided to watch. Lena pulled it up on her tv while you made popcorn and poured it into a bowl.

The reason you guys had chosen it was because it seemed like the last thing either of you would really enjoy, but maybe that was the best part about it.

You sat down, setting the popcorn on the coffee table and grabbing a blanket from one of the baskets underneath the tv, throwing it to the couch beside Lena.

Lena chuckled as she put the remote on the arm rest and unfolded the blanket, patting the space next to her.

You smiled and flopped back on the couch, positioning yourself so you were leaning against Lena and her arm was around your shoulder comfortably.

You sighed contently, taking a handful of popcorn and eating it.

Throughout the movie, Lena was subconsciously rubbing your arm, which you noticed as soon as she started doing it.

It ended up being pretty good, in all honestly. You and Lena both thought it was really cute.

“The songs were really catchy,” You admitted as the credits started.

Lena nodded and chuckled, “Yeah, I have a feeling they’ll be stuck in my head.”

“Thanks for watching the movie with me,” You smiled and buried your face in her soft sweater.

“Of course,” Lena smiled and kissed the top of your head gently. “I love spending time with you.

—

You meet Kara and Alex for the first time.

You and Lena had agreed that it was better for you to meet one or two of her friends before you were thrown into a game night with a bunch of new people, that way you had at least two people to talk to other than Lena.

You guys had planned to meet for a mini girls night of some sort, with pizza and a movie at Kara’s apartment, which Lena told you was where most game nights were held.

As Lena knocked on the door, you stood slightly behind her, fiddling with the sleeve of your coat nervously. She turned around and looked at you, giving a reassuring smile and putting her arm around you.

A second or two later, the perky blonde Lena had shown you a picture of was at the door, bouncing on her heels, standing next to the redhead girl who was an inch or two shorter than her.

She smiled widely and pulled you into a tight hug, “It’s so nice to finally meet you, (y/n)! I’m Kara and this is my sister Alex.”

You laughed at Kara’s enthusiasm and returned her hug the best you could before she let go and grinned. Alex also greeted you with a hug, her more gentle and soft, but it felt protective at the same time.

“I didn’t know people could be so good at hugs,” You chuckled when the four of you had sat down on the carpet around the coffee table to eat the fresh pizza Alex bought. “I just thought Lena was the only good hugger.”

“Well, there’s a lot more where that came from,” Kara chuckled, taking a bite of her pizza.

Lena smiled at you, feeling a bit of pride. She was so happy that you were getting along well with Kara and Alex, even though you guys had just started talking.

You looked up at Lena and smiled back at her, scooting a little closer so she could wrap an arm around your waist with the hand she wasn’t using to eat.

The entire time you guys spent eating pizza, you were talking at the same time.

Kara straight up told you that she was Supergirl, not wanting to start with a secret, knowing how complicated it would make everything since Lena knew and she went to the DEO a lot.

Then Alex explained the DEO to you and told you how she was the director. She also mentioned that her girlfriend was a cop.

“That’s so badass,” You smiled, chuckling when you felt Lena nudge you after you curse.

“Languageee,” Lena teased with a raised brow.

“Oh, come on, Lee, as if you don’t have a worse potty mouth than I do,” You rolled your eyes and nudged her back.

Lena smiled at the nickname. You hadn’t realized that you said it, but she did. You hadn’t called her ‘Lee’ since you were little, and her heart swelled a bit when she heard the familiarity of the way you said it.

During the movie, you sat in between Lena and Alex. They’d decided on watching a horror movie, and since you hadn’t really seen one before, you figured that they couldn’t be that bad.

You were veryyyy wrong though. You hadn’t even caught the name of the movie because you refused to look at the screen.

About halfway through the movie, Alex told Kara to switch off the movie and put something else on because you had ended up sandwiched tightly between her and Lena, holding Lena’s arm around your waist tightly and burying your face into Alex’s hoodie.

You let out a sigh of relief when Kara flicked back to the menu of her tv, making Alex and Lena both laugh, and loosened your grip on Lena’s arm, “Sorry.”

“You’re all good,” Lena shook her head and pressed a comforting kiss to your temple before running her fingers through your hair gently. “Now we know, no more horror movies for you.”

You chuckled, “In all honesty, I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

“Oooh, we should watch UP!” Kara grinned when it caught her eye as she was flipping through the movie menu.

Alex groaned, “Kara, we watched UP last month.”

“Yeah, but it’s so good! Have you seen it, (y/n)?”

“No,” You shook your head. “I’ve only seen like four movies.”

Kara and Alex’s jaws dropped simultaneously and Alex took the remote from her sister, quickly pressing play, “Okay, this might make me a hypocrite, but you need to watch this movie.”

You and Lena chuckled at Alex, and you looked up at her with a smile.

She smiled back at you as you leaned into her more, tucking your head underneath her chin.

Maybe National City was growing on you.

—

Your first time meeting Maggie.

Lena was on a business trip to Europe for a few days, and although she insisted that she wouldn’t mind if you went, you reassured her that you could stay in National City comfortably.

She eventually gave in, knowing that you disliked flying just as much as she did, but made you agree that you would stay in Alex’s apartment (after she asked Alex, of course).

You settled in quickly, it only took you Friday afternoon to get used to her homey apartment and you really enjoyed spending time with Alex anyways.

Alex woke you up on Saturday at 10, wanting to let you sleep in a bit, with breakfast ready.

“You are the best ever,” You grinned and raced over to the kitchen table, sitting in a chair.

Alex chuckled and sat beside you, “Anything for my favorite teenager. You’ve got a fruit bowl, pancakes, and French toast to eat, don’t let it get cold.”

Both of you dug into your breakfast before you washed it down with water, “What’re we doing today?”

“Maggie has the day off today so we could hang out with her if you’re okay with that,” Alex shrugged as you both carried the dishes to the sink and she started washing them.

“Ooh!” You grinned. “Maggie’s your girlfriend, right?”

Alex blushed and rolled her eyes before nodding, “Yes, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Awh,” You chuckled. “I’m totally fine with that, and I’d love to meet her.”

“Okay, perfect, I’ll call her now. Do you wanna change and get ready to head out while I call her?”

You nodded, “Yep!”

When you got out of the bathroom, Alex was sitting on the couch watching some random show called NCIS. You walked over and sat next to her, fiddling with one of the rings on your fingers as you watched the tv.

The moment a knock sounded on the door, Alex smiled and shot up from where she was sitting to go answer it.

You stifled a laugh at how fast Alex reacted and turned around to watch Alex open the door and kiss the shorter woman standing in the doorway.

After a few seconds of them literally making out in the doorway, you cleared your throat softly and Alex pulled away, blushing, “Sorry, (y/n/n).”

Maggie walked into the apartment and Alex closed the door behind her, so you got up to say hi.

Apparently it was like, a National City thing where everyone hugs everyone when they meet for the first time because Maggie hugged you too when you walked up to her, “Hey, kid. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you from Lena, Kara, and Alex.”

You chuckled, “All good things I hope.”

“Yeah, of course,” Maggie smiled.

After a little small talk, things started to get more comfortable and you were liking Maggie more by the second. She had this sarcastic way of joking that you found hilarious and on top of that, she was really really nice.

Soon, you guys decided to go ice skating in one of the nearby ice skating rinks.

You’d never actually ice skated before, so Maggie and Alex taught you.

You were a pretty fast learner and soon you were skating almost as well as they were. Of course, all of you had a few falls here and there (and they were all hilarious), but overall you guys were doing well.

When you guys had finished, you went for ice cream before returning back to Alex’s apartment.

—

Your first game night.

You and Lena were running a little late to game night.

It was your fault, since you’d changed what you were wearing three times before finally settling on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a white shirt, and a red hoodie.

Lena didn’t mind though, she knew you were nervous to meet the rest of her friends and you really wanted them to like you.

In a short 20 minutes, you were at Kara’s door, standing a little behind Lena, who looked behind her shoulder and pulled you up gently before putting her arm around your shoulder and knocking on the door.

From the outside of Kara’s apartment, you could hear Kara squealing, “They’re here!” and less than a second later, she was opening the door and pulling both of you into a group hug.

Lena went to go around and say hi to everyone, so Kara made it her responsibility to introduce you to everyone. First, you said hi to Alex and Maggie, before Kara introduced you to J’onn, the man who was talking to them.

He was really nice and you got the feeling that he was extremely wise, just from talking to him for a little bit.

Then she introduced you to James, who you’d seen a picture of before. He showed you some of the pictures he’d taken recently, which really intrigued you.

After that, Kara introduced you to Brainy and Nia. You thought they were like, the cutest couple ever. Just the way they looked at each other was adorable.

Finally, you were introduced to Winn, who you’d actually heard a lot about. You were excited to meet him because he seemed like a lot of fun and he totally was. His sense of humor was a bit unusual but funny nonetheless.

The night sped by quickly. You ate pizza, shared stories, and played games with everyone, and you never really felt like they didn’t want you there, or like you didn’t belong there.

Yeah, National City is pretty nice.

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