Tumgik
#yeah fucking. contrary to whatever they thought when they saw me i did in fact read and follow the directions on the fucking screen
milf-harrington · 2 years
Text
i am going to have a fucking fit im pretty sure the guys at the electronics store have actually told me to do the exact thing i've been doing this whole fucking time so points to us for not communicating clearly
4 notes · View notes
stealforreal · 3 years
Text
Future kids - Bakugou Katsuki I
Bakugou meets his son from the future. Just some fluff, with a jealous Bakugou.
Bakugou Katsuki x F! reader
Warnings: none
Bakugou was stomping his way back to the dorms, cursing that stupid nerd Deku in his mind. Kicking some rocks lying in his way, he was radiating murder. Naturally his classmates left him alone to cool off for a minute, even the Baku squad left him alone. They had chosen not to interfere, because they would like to live to see another, thank you very much. 
The stupid nerd had been too close to y/n at lunch today, and Bakugou had spent the entire time glaring at the curly green haired boy. What really made him snap was when she hugged him, and the stupid brocoli went as red as a tomato. She was giggling loudly and seemed really happy at whatever Midoriya had said, and the fiery ash blond couldn't control his jealousy so he stormed off. After class was over Bakugou was the first out the door, not even stopping to insult Denki when he made a bad joke. 
The rest of his classmates were confused, sure they all knew Bakugou to be a hothead. But still he seemed angrier than usual, only the Baku squad had small nervous but knowing smiles on their face. They knew of the explosive boy's crush on y/n, it wasn't totally obvious and they really wouldn't have known had Kirishima not pointed out the subtle things. Like how he never once called her an extra, he still called her idiot, dumbass and such. That was probably Bakugou's version of a compliment, which was probably the reason they took so long to figure out his crush.
So here he was stomping his way back to the dorms, cursing Deku for being close with y/n, Himself for getting jealous, y/n for being too friendly and everything he could curse in general. He stopped dead in his tracks when he felt a little tug on his uniform pant leg, glaring down at the thing that stopped him. Only to be confused when that thing turned out to be a little boy, around the age of 4-5 by the looks of it. Bakugou's brows furrowed in confusion, how did a little boy end up here. UA is one of the most secure places in Japan, courtesy of the League of Villains and other past incidents. 
What caught Bakugou's attention though, was the fact that this little boy was bawling his eyes out and trembling with his sobs. Bakugou didn't know what was happening, he felt incredibly protective of the young boy but didn't know why. He seemed kind of familiar, like Bakugou had seen parts of him somewhere else before. The little boy had big e/c doe eyes, filled to the brim with tears as he stared at the ground. His hair was unruly and a familiar shade of ash blond, he reminded Bakugou of himself a bit when he was young except the crybaby attitude of course. It was weird for Bakugou to feel this protective of anything, and he didn't like it one bit
" Oi brat, where are you parents?" The teenager asked the little boy, crouching down to his level, making the little lad finally pay attention to the stranger he had grabbed. The little boy gasped and flung himself at Bakugou, clutching on tightly to the stunned teenager's shirt. A new wave of tears hit the little blonde, being relieved at the familiar sight of his fathers face though much younger. " D-daddy, I-I was so scared" the little boy whimpered, burying his tear stained face in his fathers shoulder. Bakugou was speechless, he sure as hell was not this kid's father even if it explained the feeling of familiarity. No Bakugou shook his head at the ridiculous thought, this kid was obviously terrified and contrary to popular belief Bakugou would not abandon a lost child " Oi brat, I'm taking you with me back to the dorms. Afterwards we'll find your parents' ' he huffed, Bakugou was going to kill this kid's parents once they were found.
The younger boy began calming down in the older boy's arms, the tears had stopped and he was only softly hiccupping now. "B-but daddy I did find you, I wanna go see mommy" the young boy huffed out, defiantly crossing his arms over his little chest. " Oh yeah, prove it brat" Bakugou smirked thinking he had cornered the little boy in his lie, but much to his astonishment the little boy let out a small explosion in the palm of his hand. Though much brighter than his own, there was no mistaking his explosion quirk.  Bakugou hated to admit that so far the brat seemed to be telling the truth, and he hated even more how his feeling of protectiveness grew at the revelation that this kid in fact was most likely his son from the future. It wasn't rocket science, right now Bakugou was 16 and 100% not a father. Yet here is a little boy that is the spitting image of him as a kid except the eyes, and in this world where quirks exist perhaps time travelling was possible.  
Bakugou's little chat with his son had taken longer than he thought, because as soon as he entered the dorm common room every one in the room snapped their head towards the two ash blondes. The first to break the pin drop silence was Kirishima  " Eh who is the kid, Bakubro" he asked. While Mina asked if he had kidnapped the kid, earning a glare from the explosive blonde. " Daddy, why does Aunt Mina and Uncle Kiri not recognize me? " a little voice asked, making a lot of jaws drop and eyes widened. 1....2......3...... " WHA!!!" The lot of them shouted, questions coming left and right, wanting an explanation as to why this little boy who looked suspiciously like Bakugou called him dad. 
What they all failed to notice was the little boy was recoiling from the loud noise, pressing himself closer and closer to his father. Bakugou noticed this, and thanks to his newfound protectiveness he hugged him closer and glared at them effectively shutting them up. Mostly they were just silenced because the sight of Bakugou hugging and being protective of his supposed son baffled them. I mean we are talking about Mr.Hothead angry Pomeranian, the most blatant rude student in class 1-A if not in the entirety of UA. " Shut it ya damn morons, can't you see you're frightening him" Bakugou sneered at his classmates, not loudly but it was still malicious enough to make a shiver run up their spines. 
Midoriya, who had known Kacchan the longest, was intrigued by this side of Kacchan and unconsciously moved closer to the two ash blondes. Seeing the familiar shade of green hair approach them Bakugou sneered, while his son became ecstatic. " Uncle Izu '' The child yelled excitedly, stretching his arm towards the blushing brocoli boy indicating he wanted to be held. " Ah hell no! He is not your uncle, I won't allow shitty Deku to hold my son" Bakugou yelled, making a few snicker quietly, but what really set them off was the fact his son chopped his head with a little fist. "Oi, why the hell did ya do that for ya brat? Bakugou barks at his son, only receiving a deadpan expression in return. " Mommy said, every time your daddy is mean to uncle Izu chop his head for me, okay baby?" After that announcement they all burst out laughing, while Midoriya tried not to tremble under Bakugou's glare. 
"Speaking of which, who is your mom?, uhm I never got your name, little guy" Kirishima asked the little boy, stating a valid point. Bakugou realized that even though he had known his son for about 5 hours now, he never once asked what the boy's name was. " What do you mean, Uncle Kiri, it's me Katsuma?" Katsuma tilted his head a bit, not really being aware or understanding that he most likely travelled through time. " Well you aren't born in our time yet, mini Bakugou" Kaminari informed the little boy, in his usual teasing voice. " Really Uncle Kami" Little Katsuma asked " Does this mean mommy and daddy aren't together yet?" He asked, surprising the teenagers. Katsuma was surprisingly smart for a kid his age, and after the initial shock from being called daddy Katsuki totally forgot to ask about his son's mother. 
"That is correct, Katsuma'' Todoroki piped up in his usual monotone voice, surprising Katsuma with his appearance. " Uncle Todo'' Katsuma replied coolly, surprising everyone present. The happy bubbly 5 year old had vanished in an instant, and been replaced with a little boy full of hatred. Breaking the little staring contest that had broken out between his son and the damn half n half bastard, was none other than Midoriya's phone. Being the klutz that he is, he ended up answering and putting it on speaker. " Izuku, Ochaco said there was a cute kid at your dorm, so I'm coming over " y/n voice could be heard, instantly Katsuma brightened up again being all sparkles and rainbows again. He tugged at his dad's collar, demanding Katsuki's attention " daddy, daddy did you hear, mommy's coming over" the little ash blonde exclaimed, bouncing in his fathers arms from being giddy. This new information caused everybody's jaw to land on the floor once again.
" WHY, why does Bakugou get the hot chick? '' Mineta yelled in agony, being the little pervert he is, he had to comment on her looks. " Oi, don't talk about my future wife and baby mama y/n like that, I'll fucking blast you to hell" His statement followed by the crackeling in his palm, and the sound of a phone being dropped? Turning around Bakugou was met with your stunned face, eyes blown wide with confusion and astonishment clearly written on your face. " Mommy" Katsuma yelled, squirming trying to get out of his fathers embrace, and slowly Katsuki sat him down. When his small feet hit the floor, Katsuma was sprinting towards y/n with all his might and flinging himself into her arms. Resulting in the poor girl, falling down on the floor in her confusion.
Katsuma buried his face in her neck, sighing happily to himself. The remaining nerves  he had totally disappeared once he saw you. As much as Katsuma was a daddy’s boy, he was even more of a mama’s boy. Katsuma could feel the lack of response coming from his mother, curious and slightly scared he looked at her face. you were absolutely stunned, no response came from you frightening the young boy. Tears began swimming in Katsuma’s beautiful e/c eyes, snapping you back to reality. The sight of a child with tears in his eyes, struck your motherly instincts. Answers could wait, right now there was an adorable toddler with tears in his eyes, and you had to comfort him.
Slowly Katsuma was pulled into your embrace, head buried in the crock of your neck. Arms wrapped tightly around the preciuóus boy, letting him cling to you for deer life. “ M-mommy, I m-missed you, I was s-so scared-d” Katsuma said through sobs and hiccups. Not bothering to correct him, you bounced him lightly up and down in your arms. Bakugou came and helped you onto your feet, putting an arm around your waist. His other hand began stroking Katsuma’s unruly blond hair. 
Around them the rest of the class was still stunned into silence, seeing the small family in an embrace. Most of them had never seen Bakugou look so protective and calm, let alone with a small blush. You would also sport a matching blush if it weren’t for the fact, all your attention was on the young boy in your arms. He looked like a carbon copy of Katsuki, yet his e/c eyes looked exactly like yours. Slowly the sniffles stopped. Instead they were replaced by steady breathing, it seems like the child had a long day because he was fast asleep in your arms.
Slowly you made your way to the 1-A dorm living room couch, with the sleeping child in your arms and Bakugou not far behind you. He made it a point to keep his hand on the small of your back, glaring at the other guys present if they looked at your or his son the wrong way. “ Can somebody please explain to me what is going on?” You whispered so you wouldn’t wake up the young boy, whose name you still hadn’t caught. Your eyes caught Izuku’s eyes, but for some reason his eyes widened and he averted his gaze from you. Izuku is one of your best friends, you met because you and your classmate Hatsume Mei worked on his hero costume and you hit it off. 
With your attention not fully on the child anymore, you now realised that somebody had their arm around your shoulders. Looking to your right where the owner would be stítting, your eyes widened slightly at the person on your right. One of the hottest guys in UA had his arm around you, Bakugou Katsuki of class 1-a was well known in the school. His temper, looks and quirk had made him extremely popular with the female population of UA, though none of them dared approach him. The bad boy image both attracted them and made them keep their distance from him. He wasn’t exactly known for being a teddy bear, so Katsuki hugging y/n closer to him and keeping touching her was not expected.
 “ Oi Flashlight, brat is ours from the future. I don't know how he got here but it’s true. He even has my quirk, you know what this means right ” Bakugou spoke, explaining the situation. The others had left the two of you alone, giving Bakugou privacy to explain the surreal situation to you.  What this means? What did he mean by that? You couldn’t help but ponder the meaning. Turning your head to face him and question him on what he meant, you were met with a very close Bakugou. Bakugou couldn’t contain himself seeing you look so adorably clueless, so he closed the small gap between you. 
His lips were surprisingly soft. He was gentle in kissing you, not knowing how you would react. I mean you had to like him back right? You were sitting there next to hum with YOUR SON in your arms. He smelled nice, it was a sweet scent like caramel courtesy of his quirk. The kiss was slow, loving and gentle, the feeling of his lips on yours were intoxicating. Pulling back from the kiss, Bakugou growled silently, huskily in your ear “Your mine, flashlight” Heat crept up your neck, and you were left softly blushing. “ What are we going to do with him Bakugou?” Still facing Bakugou, you looked at your son from the future. There really was no mistake, he looked like a perfect Katsuki copy with your eyes, and your motherly instincts told that this was in fact your son. 
“It’s Katsuki to you Flashlight ” He corrected you “For now let's go to bed, it’s late. We can ask the squirt questions tomorrow” Katsuki led you to his room, still with a sleeping Katsuma in your arms. His bed was big enough to fit the three of you. You laid down with Katsuma in the middle, both you and Katsuki put an arm around Katsuma. Katsuki intertwined your fingers, and slowly you fell into a blissful sleep. You could ask more questions tomorrow.
But when you woke up, Katsuma was nowhere to be found. Only you and Katsuki were cuddling in his bed. You and Katsuki both came to the conclusion that whatever quirk sent Katsuma here probably sent him back to his own time. “Katsuki, is it wrong of me to miss him already?” You looked at your new boyfriend, looking into his sleepy vermillion orbs. “ If you miss the little firecracker already, why don’t we bring him back” His morning voice was rough, and tickled your ears just right, sending a shiver down your spine. Bakugou's eyes glinted with mischief, as he began kissing your neck. The innuendo not lost on you, the feeling of his lips on a particular spot had you giggling. It was ticklish and stopped him in his tracks for just long enough for you to get a word in. “ Let’s wait a few years okay” He nodded and laid down next to you again, pulling you close.
You would see Katsuma again. Someday.
1K notes · View notes
sugamamacustard · 3 years
Text
Feral Animal
Pairing:  Alpha! Kentarou Kyoutani x Omega! Reader
Genre: Fluff
Request:  Hi! I love your abo blog! I was wondering if you could write about Alpha!Kyotani with an Omega!Reader, where their first encounter catches everyone by surprise? Like, Reader has a traditionally alpha scent (like burning/smokey wood) and can usually get away with being mistaken as an alpha at first glance? It’s fine if you’re asks are full or you don’t want to do this but thanks for your time 😊 —Sno
Summary:  You just wanted to get the boys to practice on time. You weren’t prepared to deal with this.  Good thing you had a gaurdian angel- or should we say, dog. 
Author’s Note: I love Kyoutani so much. Like he’s in my top three people I simp for. 
Requests: Open!
Tumblr media
Kentarou Kyoutani
➵ No one gathered in your way when walked down the hall. You smelt strong enough to put them on edge. 
➵ Peoples hackles were constantly raised when you were around, and truthfully, you didn’t know why. 
➵ You were still you. You were still an omega. 
➵ You still ached to reach out for touch, to scent someone, to just have the smallest bit of attention from anyone that wasn’t Iwaizumi.
➵  You and he had met when you were young, and he took to being your personal guardian—since he was a year older than you.
➵  You were thankful for him and his friendship, but that was all it would ever be. You both tried dating in your first year of middle school (Dating being a loose term), but it was obvious you were better off as friends. 
➵ You both still hung out constantly though, and eventually he grew to be an older brother to you.
➵  When you got to high school though, you quickly realized that with Iwaizumi came Oikawa. You had known him just as you had known Iwaizumi, but the other male seemed to keep his distance from you.
➵ It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was keeping his distance with you. When you and Iwaizumi explained to him there was nothing between the two of you, nor would there ever be, he calmed down. 
➵ The fellow omega (Oikawa is an omega ass bottom change my mind. Unless it comes to requests. Then he’s an alpha for you :D) grew to be close with you as well and if one or the other was being idiotic you stepped in as the shoulder to cry on. 
➵ You were happy for them, truly, but you knew sooner or later you were going to be out of the picture.
➵  They were third years, and you were a second year. They had a relationship that ran deeper than any thing you could offer them.
➵ And that was okay.
➵ Facing the obvious, it’s clear that, because your best friends are those two dorks, you’re into volleyball. Or in the very least, know of it and how to play. Because of this, you’re elected manager.
➵  No more choice. 
➵ You don’t fawn over Oikawa constantly, you can handle Iwaizumi’s outbursts, you were calm with the first years, and you don’t put up with any fan girl’s bullshit. 
➵ You didn’t get the chance to refuse honestly.
➵ “I’m sorry, but unfortunately, Oikawa-Senpai is busy at the moment- “
➵ “Please, just- Let me see him! I won’t be long!” The Alpha pleaded, trying to appease to your sense of empathy. Unfortunately for her, that was dried up before the second girl even looked at you to ask the very same thing. 
➵ You were tired of girls, obviously not getting the hint, trying to confess their undying love to Oikawa every other day. How did they not see he was an Omega? 
➵ Yeah, he had suppressants out the wahzoo but, good golly, his mannerisms were all Omega.  
➵ Apparently this alpha though her and Oikawa would be the ultimate power couple.
➵ “Like I said before, he is busy. Any time you take up is time wasted.” You snorted, turning tail and shutting the gym door, ignoring the screech of anger behind it. You were used to it.
➵  Most times you locked them out, they’d throw a bitch-fit, turn and bad-mouth you to their friends for a few days. 
➵ They’d tease you for your scent—which was a, frankly lovely, pinewood and amber scent—and poke fun at you, saying how ‘you’ll never get an alpha smelling stronger than them” with a sneer. You’ve learned to ignore those types of girls.
➵ What you didn’t expect however, was for her to scream some more, banging on the metal door.
➵  It was ripped open in your moment of shock, making you turn on your heel to face her. 
➵ Her hair, though still relatively upkept, was frizzy with fly-a way’s running out occasionally, but her eyes were what scared you. 
➵ They were constricted to ball point bulbs that were locked onto you, fangs poking out as she snarled at you.
➵ Of course. Because why wouldn’t a feral Alpha be part of your day today?
➵ You growled yourself, trying to reign in your scent but it was getting harder and harder as she stalked closer.
➵ No one else was in the gym, as they were changing in the club room, but you figured you could handle her.
➵ You hoped at least.
➵ She tried pouncing on you, your arms quickly crossing in front of your face to shield yourself, but instead of an angry alpha trying to claw your eyes out, you merely got a gust of wind.
➵   Peeking open an eye—you couldn’t recall closing them, but whatever—you frowned at the face staring back at you.
➵  You hadn’t talked to him, personally, but you knew who he was. Kentarou Kyoutani. 
➵ He was incredibly strong, a worthy advisory, and worst of all…
➵ A ticking time-bomb of an alpha.
➵ He had the resting bitch face to end all resting bitch faces, and the attitude to go with it. He had only said one word to you ever and it was ‘move’. His voice was gruff and angry when he said it, but his eyes softened when you looked up at him. 
➵ He waited patiently for you to gather your things before moving. That was the first, and what you thought, last time you’d ever see the alpha. He entranced you though, so you wouldn’t ever necessarily be opposed to seeing him again. 
➵ Just maybe not in this circumstance.
➵ Kyoutani held the alpha by the collar of her shirt, his lips poked up in a snarl with his canines gleaming dangerously in the sunlight
➵ . Contrary to popular belief, he’d only ever gone feral once in his life. His stepfather, an awful, awful, excuse for an alpha had raised a hand to his Mama.
➵  He refused to let anyone ever raise a hand to omega that day and stuck to his grits with it.
➵  Many people often feared him because of his careful eye and quick reflexes. 
➵ They claimed he was close to going feral because they never cared to admit they were planning on hurting someone. He didn’t care.
➵ At least he didn’t. When he saw you simply turn and close the gym door, he felt his heart skip a beat. 
➵ Maybe it was just the fact that you didn’t relent, or maybe it was the fact that you didn’t care or bend or submiss in the absolute slightest, or maybe it was the waft of the most calming scent he’s ever smelt before.
➵  He knew the other alpha’s scent, as she had practically reeked all over him while asking him for things Oikawa liked before he snapped on her, so this was all you. And he…liked it. 
➵ He hated scents that were too sweet or too ‘exciting’ in a way, but this? This was calming and euphoric all in one and he wanted to straight up bathe in it.  It smelt that good.
➵ He watched the alpha screech, stomping her foot—he could guess she was the very definition of daddy’s girl with her reaction to being told ‘no’—and before he could growl at her to leave, she was forcing open the door and snarling. 
➵ So, he dropped his bag and ran to make sure you were okay. His alpha pawing at him to hurry up. 
➵ He had felt the very same as they day he ran his stepfather out of his life, but this time…This time, he would be sure not to go feral. That would scare you and he couldn’t, wouldn’t risk that.
➵ When he got there, the alpha lunged and he had barely enough time to grab her. You looked shocked to see him, or maybe it was residue from when she broke into the gym, but you didn’t say anything.
➵  He took that as a good sign, turning tail and dragging her to where he dropped his bag. He grabbed it quickly, instead dropping her and rushing back to the gym.
➵  You closed the door behind him, Iwaizumi and Matsukawa quickly locking it. In the time, between Kyoutani dragging out the feral alpha you had the chance to text Iwaizumi, sending choppy and shaky, but succinct, messages to let him know what was going on.
➵  The rest of the team were on their way anyway, so they merely hurried their steps. When they turned to lock the door, you stopped them, crying for them to just wait for a minute.
➵ Kyoutani had run in seconds after your plea and the door was quickly shut. 
➵ Scents were going insane in the gym, but his was most discernible to you. He smelt scared.
➵  Before anyone had a chance to mention it though, he was turning to you and reaching for your face.
➵ you flinched but that didn’t stop him. His fingers were gentle, more so than you could expect from him, and he was so soft while turning your face to observe the damage. Iwaizumi tried to get close, but he was growled at as you were held to Kyoutani’s chest. 
➵  The team could only watch, flabbergasted, as you were hugged and scented by their mad dog. Even more so when you began laughing and purring, placing your hands around his neck.
➵  You whispered something (They were ‘Thank you’ and appreciation whispers) into his ear, making his shoulders visibly relax. No one could really understand what had happened, but they weren’t sure if they wanted to question it just yet.
➵ Well, most of team didn’t at least.
➵ “Aw, Mad dog-Chan! How do you know our little Chibi-chan?” Oikawa laughed, leaning off Iwaizumi as he spun a volleyball on his pointer finger.  
➵ Kyoutani grunted, abruptly pulling away, only to growl and pull you back when his alpha snarled. “Don’t.”
➵ “Wait- wait, wait. Hold on.” Hanamaki snorted, holding his hands up. “So you, Mad dog, most vicious alpha this side of the equator, just decided fuck it, and chose to not only save an omega you’ve never met, but then hog her? I don’t know, Mattsun, seems kind of sus to me.”
➵ “Very sus.” Matsukawa agreed, snickering. He yelped however, when Kyoutani turned to snarl at him, only for you to hold him back. Matsukawa had never felt more scared for his life in that very moment, and he owed you a whole ass chapel.
➵ It stayed like that for the rest of the practice, with you calming Kyoutani down ever time he needed a ‘time out’ and over time he got much better at controlling his anger.
➵ No one was surprised when you walked in two weeks later, a small, thin leather choker clipped on around your neck with a hand-made moon charm hanging from it.
2K notes · View notes
mxchellesworld · 3 years
Text
swim
Spencer Reid x Reader
Warnings; smut, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, degradation, light choking, creampies, slight thigh riding
Synopsis; during a night out with your friends you spot a tall man in a dark suit with an even darker look in his eyes
a/n; this is literally just smut with very little plot lmaoo uhh i’ve been struggling in my smut writing/writing in general so here’s this, hope its not completely trash and you enjoy!
fic inspired by swim by chase atlantic, bc god knows i can't write anything original sdhfdh
Tumblr media
***
It was 10 o’clock when your girlfriends rounded you up for a night out, hopefully full of sweet drinks and good company. By 11:30 you were happily buzzed and the feelings of warm bodies around you brought a heat to your lower stomach. Maybe tonight you’d go home with someone, wake up the next morning with that delicious sense of soreness between your legs. The only task at hand was finding a companion.
Once the current song ended you walked over to the bar grabbing a water and taking a seat next to your friends.
“How are the prospects lookin tonight y/n/n?” Jessica, the short brunette you’d known for years asked. Being around her had rubbed some of her boldness onto you. Hopefully that could make an appearance tonight.
“No luck so far,” you sighed “but my eyes are wide open.” You brought the straw to your lips, gulping down the cool water as you looked around the dimly lit room.
“Woah check out suit and tie over there. He’s been checking you out for a while,” chimed Erika. While she has happily taken, that didn’t stop her from going out with you guys and pushing you into random laps.
You looked up to see the darkest pair of brown eyes on yours. Maybe it was the lighting but here was something in them. Lust perhaps? His eyes travelled down your frame as you stood up. The tight lilac dress you had on hugging each of your curves perfectly.
"I'm gonna get some air, let me know if you guys wanna head out," you said never letting your eyes drift away from the handsome stranger a few feet away.
Once outside you let your back hit the brick wall. The music from the building could be felt vibrating through the cracks. You looked up seeing the stars barley visible through the city lights.
"Contrary to popular belief you can never see millions of stars, they simply aren't close and bright enough. On a really exceptional night, with no moon and far from any source of lights, a person with very good eyesight may be able to see 2000-2500 stars at any one time."
You turned to see the same man from inside. He was gorgeous, a light stubble grazing his cheeks, long hair falling past his ears. He was a lot taller than you had thought probably taller than 6'0 but all that made you think about was him towering over you.
"Did you make that up off the top of your head? Or do you approach all your conquests with astronomy facts?"
"That depends do you usually let strange men corner you behind bars or am I just special?" he said walking closer to where you stood.
"Touche Mr."
"Doctor actually."
There was a brief pause where you both let out a giggle. The dark eyes from before seemed lighter and you cold almost make out a blush on his cheeks. The lack of alcohol on his breath told you it was from the conversation, though there was nothing to be flushed about yet.
“But seriously a pretty girl walking out to a back alley late at night is just a recipe for disaster,” he finished scanning both ends.
“Well do you plan on hurting me doctor?" you said coyly. You did you best to flutter your lashes looking up at him.
"Is that what you want?" he said letting one of his hands tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. That same hand ended up resting loosely around you neck making you gulp.
"Yes," you breathed out, "please doctor."
He wasted no time in crashing his lips to yours. You moaned into his mouth as he slid his thigh in between your own. His unoccupied hand went down to your hip, slowly guiding the pace of your frantic rutting.
Your lips parted as your head tilted back onto the brick wall. A symphony of whimpers leaving your mouth.
"Look how desperate you are for me. I haven't even done anything and you're already such a mess," he said leaving wet kisses, cooling on your scorching neck.
"Oh fuck doctor," you said clinging onto his arms, "need y'to fuck."
The power he had over you turned your brain to mush. It was sad how quickly he had you melted in the palm of hand without even doing much but kissing. At this point you didn't even care. The only thought swimming in your head was having him inside you.
A pout formed on your lips as his hands dropped from your frame. However it was quickly wiped away as you heard the familiar sound of a belt unbuckling.
"Is this what you needed baby? You need my cock to stretch you out?" he said pulling your hips closer to his.
You looked up at him for permission before you reached forward to pump your hand along his shaft. He lifted your right leg, hooking it over his arm as he pulled the thin material separating the both of you to the side.
Guiding his length to your glistening folds was a sight you'd want engraved in your brain forever. The first intrusion of his fat tip in your tight hole had you mewling a mix of curses and his title.
All you could do was wrap your arms around his neck and hold on for dear life as his thrusts gained speed. The sound of your skin slapping luckily wouldn't have been heard through the door with the loud music playing inside. But anyone who walked by the alley or decided it was time for a breath of air would surly be in for a show.
"Fuck you're such a good little whore for me," he said gruffly against the skin of your shoulder, "letting me fuck you out here where anyone could see."
Your pussy clenched at his words and your moans amplified as he continued to pound into you. The curve of his cock hitting the spot inside of you that had you seeing all the stars in the sky contrary to what he said before.
"More doctor! Please wanna cum," you whined.
He made a noise of disapproval before pushing you back farther into the wall. At this point you and the red bricks were one. You were sure to have crescent marks on how hard he was holding up your thigh.
"Greedy little whore aren't you," he gritted out, "You take whatever I wanna give you."
"Please I need it! Need t'cum please please please," you rushed out bucking your hips to meet each one of his thrusts.
His hold on your hip got tighter as he started drilling into you. You could feel his heavy breathes on your shoulder and the way his cock was throbbing inside you ready to fill you up.
Your mind was dizzy. It felt like you were in a bubble of him, the scent of his cologne trapped in your senses. Your nerves were on fire, any pressure on your neglected bud would be sure to set you off.
It was as if the gods had answered your prayers when he spoke, "I can feel you clenching around me baby. Go ahead and touch yourself for me," he rasped out.
Reaching between yourself you felt the slippery mess where you both connected and started rubbing at your stiff clit. Your fingers sent lighting strikes through your body, breaking the damn that was building in your lower tummy.
"Gonna cum! I'm oh god cumming doctor," you all but yelled out. If people walking around the corner were unaware of the spectacle they sure would be now.
"That's it.. such a good girl."
Your arms around his neck let up as you pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. His lips swallowing the moans you let out as he helped you ride out your orgasm.
"Where do you want-," he tried to speak out but you cut him off.
"Inside," you begged, "Need to feel you cum inside." His thrusts turned frantic as you spoke against his lips. Pleading for hum to fill you to the brim with his seed.
You sighed as you finally felt the warm liquid coat your walls, his thrusts continuing to pump into you.
He pulled out stepping back to watch the creamy mess spill down your center before be swiped it away with his fingers, bringing them up to your awaiting mouth.
Happily you took his fingers in your mouth, moaning around them at the salty taste of your mixed release. You looked up at him keeping your gaze on the sliver of brown around his dilated pupils.
_
Walking back into the bar Jessica and Erika's eyes nearly popped out of their heads as they took in the limp in your walk and your disheveled hair.
"You whore!," Erika screamed out greeting you with pats on the shoulder.
"Shut up," you said looking down feeling the heat rising to your cheeks.
Jessica giggled handing you her compact mirror, "Yeah I bet we're not the only ones who called her that," she finished with a raise of her brow.
Looking back up across the bar you saw the same dark eyes from before staring at you with a smug smile, proud how much of mess he left you in. If the little business card tucked in your bra told you anything, it was that the stunt from outside would be far from the last.
619 notes · View notes
mae-gi-writes · 4 years
Text
Take Me Back | Sunwoo (The Boyz)
Tumblr media
Requested by anon! You broke up with Sunwoo because of long distance and he’s hated you ever since. When you meet up after three years, feelings resurface. 
Genre: angst, ex to lovers au, enemies to lovers kinda, fluffy ending.
A/N: JESUS i know I said that I don’t have time because I LITERALLY DON’T. So don’t ask me why all this inspiration comes to me when I can’t even sit down to write -- I write on the way to and from work, it’s so sad -- so yeah. I hope you enjoy <3 <3 
---------
Breaking up because of long distance was one of the biggest regrets of your life. The fact that you had to let him go because it was just getting too hard for your heart to cope was, in itself, heartbreaking. But you figured that it could get better, for the both of you, if you moved on with your lives without being tied at the hip with someone that was a continent away.
Except, the moment you had murmured your silent goodbyes, you had broken down into the most horrible, heartbreaking sobs that had ravaged your entire body. You cried and cried and cried, and wouldn't stop. The tears just wouldn't stop even when you told yourself that it was better this way, that he'd find someone better, stronger, it did nothing to ease the burning pain pulling your heartstrings apart.
One thing was for sure, Sunwoo's behaviour made things much easier. He'd grown distant first, curt and cold and isolating you, though you knew deep down it was a way to protect his own heart from the damage you'd inflicted on him.
But then he started ignoring your messages, spoke rudely whenever you did catch him on the phone. While you tried being understanding the first few times, you soon grew frustrated and annoyed that he'd act so childishly. The man you had once loved with all your heart had now been reduced to nothing but someone who kept digging holes into your heart.
You juggled the thought of asking him whether he hated your guts for what you did. You wouldn't judge him. On the contrary, you'd understand.
But you hadn't. Merely because the thought of losing him forever pained you.
Fast forward three years and here you were, sitting in a restaurant with a group of your high school friends, Sunwoo included. He'd nodded curtly at your appearance but did nothing more, causing your heart to squeeze in pain at the nostalgia kicking through your stomach.
"It's been years, Y/N. And you look the same," one of your good friends, Eric, jovially stated with a wink, already down by a few beers.
"Thanks Eric, I'll take that as a compliment."
"Don't go hitting on Sunwoo's ex with him right here," your classmate Raina said, "let's not end this dinner in a fight."
"I don't think Sunwoo minds," you mumbled loud enough for it to reach everyone's ears.
"You're right, I don't care," Sunwoo's voice -- still as deep, still as gorgeously beautiful and rough. An obvious contrast to the iciness of his words like pricks aimed at your heart.
You tried your best to brush off his comment, turning to Raina to ask her about any updates about her love life.
As the night wore on and people fell into deeper conversation, others left with excuses that they had spouses to return to, families waiting for them. Until there's only you and Eric in a corner, with Sunwoo at the bar, chatting up a gorgeous girl that looked like she had just walked out of a magazine spread.
"Still doesn't wanna talk huh?" Eric took a swig of his drink.
You shook your head, "he hates me, Eric."
"No he doesn't."
"Yes, he does.He can't even look at me in the eye without scowling."
"Bollocks. You just don't see it."
"What's there to see?" You scoffed, "if killing me was legal he would've done it ages ago."
Hesitating slightly, Eric takes another swig of his drink before replying, "look, I can't speak for him. But...you'll just have to talk to him yourself."
"Fuck no, I'm not doing that," you crossed your arms over your chest.
"Stubbornness never looked good on anyone."
You pulled out your tongue in response.
"Childish," Eric's eyebrow rose in amusement. Before you could defend yourself though, the said man turned to call out Sunwoo's name and you watched in growing horror as Sunwoo walked over to your table.
"Right," Eric jumped up from his seat as though it was on fire, "Sunwoo, keep her company. I'm off to see my girlfriend."
"What? No--" but Eric was already out of the door before Sunwoo's protests were heard, resulting in an awkward air hanging off your table the moment he turned, causing you to quickly drop your eyes to the beer you were nursing.
"You don't have to stay here," came your mumble.
You felt him shift in his seat before he said, "even if I am, I'm not doing this for you."
"I know," you shot back, gaze flitting up to clash with his mahogany orbs, ones that you remembered held so much love and tenderness before. They were now cold, dark with silent seething anger. You continued, "I know you're not. I never asked you to."
"Then stopping looking at me like that," he snapped, "you of all people should know how tough this is for me."
"Sunwoo, it's been three years--"
"Don't," he cut you off with a hiss, "talk about that."
Rage started to bubble in your stomach, "I don't understand whether you hate me, or whether you’ve just turned into this rude annoying person that nobody can stand.”
He seemed to have been slapped by your statement, stayed silent for a few minutes as he clasped his drink a little tighter.
Knowing Sunwoo, he was probably silently seething from what you'd just said. Your own fingers clenched around your beer, hating how easily he could upset you even after all these years.
When he spoke next, his alto was slightly softer, a little less harsh on you, "I don't hate you."
"Doesn't seem like it to me."
There was a pause in which you managed to recollect your emotions, the anger simmering down to cold remorse at how badly you had left things.
"I'm sorry," you murmured out, avoiding his eyes in case he saw the pain that consumed you, "I know it's not easy for you. It's not easy for me either."
"I don't hate you, Y/N," Sunwoo's alto was gentle this time, without any of the malice of the earlier hour, "I...It just hurts me, every time I see you I can't stop thinking of what we were before. I--" he shifted and you managed to lift your orbs up to his, only to see guilt swimming through his as he choked out, "I miss you."
Emotion tightened your chest. Tears rushed to your eyes, "I miss you too."
You stayed unmoving, your eyes saying everything that your words couldn't. The music boomed around you, filled the empty silence that would've swallowed you whole otherwise.
When you felt your ex-boyfriend move in your peripheral, you glanced at him, noticing for the first time the tired lines around his eyes. What looked like resignation was set on his face.
And then he was pushing his hair back, muttering a string of excuses about how he couldn't do this anymore before he walked right out of the bar, with you gaping at his retreating form.
"Sunwoo! Hey--" you scrambled up to chase after him, stumbling over your feet as you gripped your bag clumsily. Running out into the street to see him already steps ahead of you, you quickly jogged up to his frame, not taking into account the nervous fluttering through your chest.
"Hey, wait! Sunwoo!" You gripped onto his arm and pulled him back. He resisted.
You started blurting things out anyway, desperate to make things right, desperate to take away the pain he felt.
"Sunwoo I'm sorry," you stumbled on as he quickened his stride, "I never--I never meant to hurt you, I-- I thought that it was best for both of us at the time, I didn't--" your words were choked, laced with emotion, "I didn't know how hard it would be."
He stopped so abruptly you almost walked into his back.
His shoulders shook as he spoke, "when we broke up, I couldn't stop thinking. Did I do something wrong? Should I have done more?" He took a breath, "I wasn't living, Y/N. I barely ate. I kept seeing you everywhere I went. It was-- it was horrible," his alto broke at the last word.
You took a step closer. Tentative. Hesitant. Hands tightened into fists.
He continued, "and it never got better. I thought it would. That's what they all said. But three years have passed. Three years and I still feel like I lost the most precious fucking thing in my life and I can't live with myself because of that."
You couldn't feel your heart, which was tightening with pain and sympathy that mirrored his words. Memories of you crying into your pillow as you willed all of your love to disappear, memories of the dull ache stretching across your ribs because you had cried too much.
You opened your mouth, an apology on the tip of your tongue, when Sunwoo swivelled around so fast you barely blinked, his hands finding your shoulders in a tight grip.
"Y/N," His eyes were red and red-rimmed as they searched yours in growing desperation, "look Y/N, what I had-- what we had, I miss that. I miss us. Please, I--" swallowing thickly as his grip tightened on you, he continued, "you can do anything. Anything, Y/N. Break me. Use me. Do whatever the fuck you want but just-- just--" his chest heaved with a shaky inhale, a sob echoing from his throat, "just let me be yours again."
The silence that followed was deafening. You couldn't believe your ears. Your heart beat so loud you felt it vibrate against your ribcage.
His chest heaved, his breaths coming out short and static as he stared at you, waiting, hoping.
There were so many things, so many things you wished to say at this very moment, so many things that you had regretted the moment you had parted ways with this amazing man.
And now, to hear that he wanted you back, that he was still undoubtedly, irrevocably in love with you was enough to bring fresh tears to your eyes as another wave of pure hope crashed through your heart and flooding it with light. 
"Y/N," Sunwoo searched your eyes, "say something--"
You did. Jumped up to press your mouth against his.
He stumbled, hands finding purchase at your waist.
And when he kissed you back, all thoughts flew out of your head only to leave Sunwoo's taste engulfing your entire being like you had never stopped loving him from the first day you met.
It was pure, utter bliss. It was like finding the lost lover that had parted ways with you at sea. Sunwoo's mouth was hard on your own as he moved with the same grace, the same fluidity that left you breathless. His grip tightened, fingers sliding under the hem of your shirt to rest on your lower back as sparks ignited beneath your half-closed lids. Everything came crashing back; the memories, the happiness, the giddy excitement that erupted in the form of goosebumps and electrical sizzles over your limbs whenever Sunwoo kissed you.
It had never stopped. And at this very moment, you wondered briefly why you had forced him away when your heart was still irrevocably his.
One hand coming up to cup your jaw, he proceeded to tilt your head back to suckle onto your lower lip, the action causing a gasp to die in your throat while your hands tightened around his neck, pulling him even closer if that was possible.
Sunwoo's chest rumbled with a choked up moan, tongue darting out to meet yours halfway while a soft whimper echoed through your throat. You tried to match his movements, to kiss back as passionately as he was kissing you. But it was almost like Sunwoo was trying his best to make up for all the time you's spent apart, his mouth permanently pressed on yours and when you turned to catch your breath, he kissed your cheek, the corner of your eye, pulling you into him to imprint another kiss at the base of your neck.
You shuddered with emotion, body lighting up on fire and heat pooling through your stomach. Turning your head back until your noses brushed, your breath caught when your eyes locked, for Sunwoo's gaze was one of fierce, intense affection, as though you were something he'd sworn to protect his whole life.
"Don't," his gaze softened, thumb brushing your lower lip, "don’t ever leave me again, I--” his own lips trembled, "I don't know how...how I'll live with myself if you do."
You knew that words were going to be useless at this point, so you just nodded, biting down on your lower lip as he leaned in and dropped a kiss near your temple.
It was weird after so long, to have his body so close and his scent overwhelming your senses, a reminder of many long nights where you'd cuddled up to sleep on his chest. Just the memory made your lips tilt into a soft amile.
That grabbed his attention, "what are you thinking about?" He murmured.
"About you," your soft maroon clash with his intense dark chocolate, "about how stupid it was to have given up on us, because all this time apart feels like a waste. And I feel so stupid."
"It's not your fault Y/N," he smoothed a hand over the side of your head as his gaze softened, "there were so many things working against us. And maybe-- maybe it was right, at this time."
Your head tilted upwards to watch him. You felt his fingers, absentmindedly drumming against your lower back and igniting a line of sparks up your spine.
He continued, "I wouldn't have known, how important you were to me, how you filled up such a major part of my life--Oh shit. You're crying?" He was quick to catch your incoming tear with his thumb, panic flashing through his features, "Y/N? What is it? What did I say?” 
“Nothing, it’s nothing I just--I’m so sorry I broke up with you,” you blurted out as silent tears trailed down your cheeks. Shaking your head and looking up into his maroon orbs, you impulsively reached up to cup his face with your hands. Lucky, your subconscious chanted. You were lucky to have someone like him.
"Come here,” You didn’t protest when Sunwoo’s arms tugged you into his broad chest -- was it broader? You felt like it was-- before his head rested atop yours. Another softest of pecks was imprinted atop your forehead, then your nose, before he dipped his head for a chaste kiss upon your mouth. 
It felt like a promise. It felt like a message conveyed from him to you, that he wasn’t about to let go, prompted even more when he wound his arms around your frame in a firm, yet gentle hug. 
You pillowed your head against his chest, closed your eyes, and counted all your blessings. 
You were definitely counting Sunwoo as one. And you’d make sure that you wouldn’t be as foolish as to let go of him ever again. 
916 notes · View notes
wolfish-trickster · 3 years
Text
Old oak tree
Loki x female!reader
Word count: 2,3K+
Warning: typos, angst, itsi bitsi fluff at the end
Tag list: @gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @forevernthensome @kozkaboi
Tumblr media
"So, what do you think?" Loki asked spreading his arms and showing you his new outfit.
You shrugged. "Looks good to me."
"Don't you think it's too much?" he checked himself in your mirror.
"Is anything EVER too much for you?" you asked with a smirk.
"I just...I really like her and I don't want to mess up."
"You won't, trust me," you reassured him.
He hugged you tightly, to your surprise. "What would I do without such a friend like you?"
The younger prince bolted from your room faster than you could answer. You sighed and closed the doors after him so no one could hear your heart breaking, again.
You and Loki were friends. Best friends actually. But you started to to see him more than that years ago. And you hated it.
You already accepted the fact he'll see you as only his supportive friend. If only he could stop asking you to help him woo his love interests. He always asked your opinion on everything. Flowers, his outfits, gifts he wanted to give them.
Once he even asked to kiss you so he could practice. It was in general your and his first kiss ever. Your head spinned when your life long best friend and crush in one person gently placed his lips on yours, his tongue sliding to your mouth. When he pulled away he just mumbled simple 'thanks' and ran away, leaving you flustered and with a face on fire under your favourite tree. At first you often sat under that old oak, remembering the feeling and smiling to yourself. However with every new interest of Loki you started to avoid the poor tree. Hate it even. You hated how it represented how you foolishly threw away your first kiss.
You still stood by Loki. What else could you do? Confess your feelings? As if that'll help.
You started to see pattern in his interests and you never managed to tic the boxes. You were only average among everything; intelligence, looks, skills. There were hundred and one people who were exactly like you. Loki would never choose you over a noble woman or man he was used to courting.
Now, when you were finally alone, you could think about what are you going to do about your never ending crush. You layed down on your bed and stared at your white ceiling. You already tried to avoid him in hopes you will loose your feelings for him, that didn't work. You wrote down every negative thing about him, trick your mind he isn't a good boyfriend material. Didn't work either since he is the kindest person you've ever met. And the gentlest. And nicest. With the most beautiful smile and eyes. And arms that give the coziest hugs.
"Fuck," you whispered and closed your eyes. It always ended like this. No matter how much you tried, you could never see him as something less than a great person he was.
Suddenly you heard his melodic laughter under your windows. As well as some girl's. You couldn't take it anymore.
"You know what? If he can date around, so can I!" you told yourself in pure desperation to get rid of the jealousy and pain from knowing he will never love you.
First thing you did was hiding everything he gave you as a child, every little trinket you cherished in false thought he's starting to catch feelings for you. You removed all of it from your shelves and put in a big box sliding it under your bed.
There, now onto the more complicated part: the oak of your very first kiss. Your heart ached with every step you took towards it. It was already old and not so full of life like it used to be. Its bark was dry and overgrown with moss. The poor thing didn't have enough energy to grow its leaves as viscoulsy like few years ago. No one visited it anymore. It was lonely just like you.
"Looks like you're few years from death, old buddy," you patted its trunk. "Let's end your missery now."
*
You were on your way back to your room holding a little pot filled with soil. Nothing was growing out yet, but in few months you were expecting a small oak sappling to grow. You couldn’t say goodbye to your old wooden friend just yet.
There, deep in halls, sounds are resonating. Sounds you soon came to hate. Kissing, Loki chuckling, some woman moaning, door closing.
You sadly looked down at the pot and took the biggest diversion to your room, avoiding coming any near Loki's bedroom.
*
Few days later you still avoided Loki. That time was the first time he had brought anyone to his bedroom to do....that. It was good he didn't ask you to practice on you. If he did, you would've.... you don't know what would you do. Probably panic first and get angry next.
While Loki was, let's say, occupied you got closer to one soldier, Arne. He was kind, tall, ginger with freckles and very skilled fighter. He wasn't the smartest but he had a sense of humor and always tried to make you laugh. He wasn't Loki though, but it didn't matter. At least you kept yourself busy, so your heart could heal.
Right now you were in stables with Arne. He was telling you how he got his first horse when he finished his soldier training few decades back. You were braiding his mare's mane as he stood right beside you, his shoulder lightly touching yours. Everything was at peace.
"Y/N! Y/N, WHERE ARE YOU?" came Loki's voice.
Almost everything.
You turned your head towards his voice. He was rushing towards you until he stopped when he noticed Arne standing so close to you.
"Am I interrupting something?" he asked a little irritated.
"Well-"
"It doesn't matter, I have to show you something," he took you by the hand and started dragging you out of the stables only for you to slip your hand from his and hugging Arne. "See you tomorrow," you waved him goodbye and walked out, Loki trailing after you.
"So, what is it you wanted to show me?"
"What the Hel was that?" he pointed at you and behind him at the stables, completely ignoring your question.
"A hug. Why?"
"Since when are you hugging random soldiers? And since when are you even hanging out with low ranking soldiers like Hofferson?"
"His first name is Arne, and I'm allowed to hug whoever I want. Same goes for hanging out. Now are you going to show me the thing or can I return to him?"
"Right," he remember, took your hand again and ran to gardens. To the familiar now empty corner. "Look what some bastard did," he pointed at the wide oak stump.
"Yeah, I know."
"You do? Oh, darling," he threw his arms around you. You fought with yourself internally to not hug him back, but being close to him after a very long time felt just too good not to give in.
"I'm so sorry. I know it was your favourite tree. I will find the culprit and-"
"You don't have to," you interrupted and pulled yourself away from him.
"I do! That tree meant a lot to me too. I was actually working on a spell to bring life into it again."
"And how exactly did it mean a lot to you? I never saw you even near that tree."
Loki stuttered. "E-ehm, we had our first kiss underneath it."
"As if that meant anything to you," you muttered.
"What?"
"I said it was old and it had to be cut down."
"Well you could've asked me before you killed it," he spat rather angrily.
"My family planted it, I get to do whatever I want with it!"
"Did it mean so little to you?"
"No. On the contrary, it meant the world to me! That's why I had to cut it down!"
"What? Why? I don't understand you," he shook his head.
"Well excuse me for wanting to destroy the biggest thing that reminded me how my best friend stole my first kiss!"
"Stole? I asked and you complied!" Loki defended himself.
You groaned. "Okay fine, you didn't steal it, I lost it. Now can I go back to Arne?"
"Lost it?! Have you got any idea how many people would murder for a kiss from a prince? And why do you want to go to Arne so desperatelly? You never talked to soldiers before, so why the change of heart?"
"I like him, he's nice and courageous and-"
"I forbid it."
"What?!" you couldn't believe your ears.
"I forbid it. You can't whore around with soldiers like him, think about your reputation!" he crossed his arms infront of him.
"Whore around? Look who's talking! You've had at least 5 lovers in the past month!"
"T-that's different."
"And how exactly is it different, Loki?"
"I-"
You waited. Nothing came out of him.
"That's what I thought."
*
Few days passed, you continued avoiding Loki and he started to close off from everyone. Occasionally you saw some green sparkles in a shape of a person sitting on the oak stump. You figured that must be Loki under cloaking spell. All you wanted to do was run to him and hug him, he looked so depressed and lonely. Just like you were when you saw him with all those lovers in the past.
You felt bad for him. But you doubted he felt bad for you back then. Or now. So you always walked pass him, pretending you didn't notice him.
*
*knock knock*
You looked up from watering your growing oak sapling. Who could it be? You weren't expecting anyone. "Who's there?"
"Guess," came a dull voice.
You put away your watering kettle and hid the pot behind courtains. "Come in, Loki."
He stepped inside wearing one of his ordinary clothes, his hair wasn't slicked back like he used to style it and he had apologetic expression on his face.
"Y/N, I came to apologize."
Loki is apologizing. Now that's new. "What for?" you asked teasingly.
He sighed. "For saying you were whoring around. It wasn't right from me," he pulled out your favourite flower from behind his back, "friends?"
You took the flower. "Okay, friends."
Loki clapped his hands excitedly. "Great, now that we're at good terms with eachother I-"
"No!" you silenced him. You knew there had to be a catch. He made up with you just so he could ask you for help. Just like always.
"You don't even know what I was about to say."
"Oh, I think I do. You want me to give you advices again. Well, guess what? That's not happening. So you can, as mortals say, do 180 and walk out that door," you pointed behind him to your bedroom door.
Loki held out his hands in surrender. "I wasn't going to ask you that! I just want to talk."
"Oh," now you felt stupid. "Okay, a little talk never killed anyone I guess."
"Thank you," he let his hands fall down and took a walk around your room. "I see you were redecorating," he noticed all of his trinkets he gave you were gone. He assumed you most likely threw them out or burned them. Just the thought of it hurt him.
"Yeah," you hugged your arms to comfort yourself. "I still have them, I just didn't want to look at them anymore."
He turned towards you. "Why? First the tree, then my little gifts. What's next, me?" he joked to ease both your and his growing anxiety.
You chuckled lightly and shook your head. "No, don't worry."
He walked to you and put his hand on your shoulders. "Then why? We're best friends, right? We can tell eachother everything."
"That's exactly what I can't do," you grabbed his hand on your shoulder and slowly removed them.
"Why? Do you... do you hate me?"
"What? Heavens no! I could never hate you!"
He sighed from relief. "Good. But then why? I can't think of a single reason you would do those things. Wait. On a second thought," he held his chin between his thumb and index finger and looked down like he always does when he was thinking. He shook his head then and chuckled to himself. "No, that's absurd. You could never be in love with me."
You involuntarily tensed up. He noticed.
"Or could you?"
Tears started burning in your eyes as you nodded. "Sorry."
"For how long?"
After few minutes of thinking you shook your head. "I don't remember when it happened. It just happened."
"Well, when did you realise then? That you...you know? Are in love with me?"
"Few days before the oak kiss, I guess."
"But that was decades ago! This long time and I never saw," he facepalmed.
"And you...?" you asked hopefully. Maybe he will tell you he loves you too, right?
He sighed. "I'm sorry Y/N. I love you, but not like that. You have always been like a little sister I always wanted."
You nodded. Of course he doesn't love you like that. How even could he? You turned away from him and let some tears escape.
"Y/N, I'm so sorry," he rubbed your back. "We can still be friends. Nothing will change between us. I promise."
But it already did. Everything changed for you. How could you even look him in the eye?
You wiped away your tears and put on a perfectly rehearsed fake smile. "Okay, I can work with that," you offered him your hand, "friends?"
Instead of shaking it he hugged you. "Friends."
You hugged him back and let your fake smile fall. Your naive little self told you he will change his mind in the future. You are already so close with eachother. Closer than anyone you know. It's just a matter of time. For now, you can only dream.
125 notes · View notes
madara-fate · 3 years
Note
If Kishimoto really wants people to believe that Sasuke loves Sakura and that they have such a good marriage then he's doing a piss poor job at it. You don't see people arguing if Minato loved Kushina or not or if Dan loved Tsunade or not. You don't. The fact that there are so many people arguing whether Sasuke loves Sakura or not, and many people believing he doesn't is just proof that Kishimoto failed somewhere or else there wouldn't be this much controversy surrounding this matter. It's either Kishimoto implying Sasuke does not love her, either Kishimoto intending to portray his idea of a good realtionship/loving husband through SS and failing miserably. Sasuke did not look happy when he saw Sakura in Gaiden first time after 10 years of absence. He couldn't even bother to send a letter to her and Sarada to let them know he was alright and thinking about them during this period. And no, please don't come at me with that bullshit excuse that he didn't keep in contact because he wanted to keep the secrecy of his mission and did not want any private information to leak and that's why he was only keeping in contact with the Hokage or whatever. No one says that if he ever bothered to write them he had to go into details about his mission. He could've just told them he's alright, that he misses them and hopes they're fine and that would've been great too and wouldn't have compromised his mission in any way. The man has space time abilities for fuck's sake. He could've easily teleported to see them and then go back to his business. In my opinion Kishimoto wrote SS in this ambiguous way to appease both the SS haters and the SS shippers. He knew SS fans were going to be happy with whatever he threw at them even if it was the absolute bottom of the barrel and he knew the antis were gonna have a good time using Gaiden to further tear the ship apart. This man is either terrible at writing romance either a huge troll who enjoys pitying his readers against each other. Or maybe both. And I assure you, I don't even hate SS, despite what I have written so far, nor do I ship something else. And Sasuke is also my favorite character. I'm indifferent to this pairing and maybe that's why I can have a more objective opinion on it than its shippers or its haters since I'm not biased due to personal feelings of either distaste or love for it. SS can be seen in both a good and a bad light, but to be honest the balance is more inclined towards the bad light.
This is just more of the stuff that I've heard plenty of times before. I'll firstly preface this by saying that I'm very highly critical of Gaiden because it included pointless drama for the sake of pointless drama. It's execution was horrendous to say the least, but I'll always still appreciate the message that Kishi was trying to relay. However, I will always take issue with those who defend the notion that Sasuke doesn't love Sakura. Hence, the following.
You don't see people arguing if Minato loved Kushina or not or if Dan loved Tsunade or not. You don't. The fact that there are so many people arguing whether Sasuke loves Sakura or not, and many people believing he doesn't is just proof that Kishimoto failed somewhere or else there wouldn't be this much controversy surrounding this matter.
Minato wasn't drowning in hatred due to a supernatural phenomenon which cause him to push away love in favour of the darkness. Dan wasn't made to undertake a preposterously long mission while intending to keep everything about it confidential. Why on earth do people think they can just compare any random relationships to SS's and go "well look at this couple! Why couldn't SS have been more like them?". Well here's your answer - Because their situations were nothing alike. But why do people constantly believe that those relationships are the only models for what a loving relationship can be? The struggles that Sasuke and Sakura faced during Gaiden were not due to issues with each other, but rather, they were shown facing hurdles which they overcame together. They were perfectly happy with each other, and not once did their dedication to one another ever falter during Sasuke's mission. Just because the couple faced hard times does not mean their bond is any weaker. On the contrary, the fact they they faced those hard times together and came out of them just as strong if not stronger than before, is a testament to the strength of the relationship.
You wanna know what I don't see? I don't see people questioning Neji and Hinata's relationship despite Neji trying to kill her during the Chuunin Exams. I don't see people questioning Hiashi's feelings towards Hinata despite essentially disowning her because he deemed her to be a failure. I don't see people questioning Gaara being the Kazekage despite him previously being feared as a killing machine who slaughtered many innocent people, by the very same villagers who now respect him as their leader. I don't see people questioning why Kabuto was trusted to become the head of the Orphanage and taking care of the future of the village, despite being a notorious war criminal. No, but of course people will question SS right? Despite them just being another example of the same theme.
It's either Kishimoto implying Sasuke does not love her, either Kishimoto intending to portray his idea of a good relationship/loving husband through SS and failing miserably.
Kishi flat out said, that the love between the Uchiha family is the real deal. He's not implying anything, and if he truly failed at depicting this, then SS wouldn't have consistently proven to be the most popular canonised pairing for years following the manga's ending.
Sasuke did not look happy when he saw Sakura in Gaiden first time after 10 years of absence.
And you think that's indicative that he doesn't love her? Are you serious? The entire time, Sasuke was very clearly shown to be aggravated because people who weren't supposed to be at his and Naruto's secret meeting place kept showing up. He didn't look happy when first meeting Naruto either, despite not seeing him for just as long. So what? You think that means he doesn't care about Naruto either? He was aggravated that Sarada was there because she was supposed to be in the village safe from all this, he was annoyed with Naruto for allowing the kids to follow him in the first place, and yeah, he didn't jump for joy when seeing Sakura because again, she was meant to be watching over Sarada in the village. One of the biggest incentives for his secrecy was to keep Sarada safe, and everything that was happening then, was the opposite of that.
He couldn't even bother to send a letter to her and Sarada to let them know he was alright and thinking about them during this period. And no, please don't come at me with that bullshit excuse that he didn't keep in contact because he wanted to keep the secrecy of his mission and did not want any private information to leak and that's why he was only keeping in contact with the Hokage or whatever. No one says that if he ever bothered to write them he had to go into details about his mission. He could've just told them he's alright, that he misses them and hopes they're fine and that would've been great too and wouldn't have compromised his mission in any way.
You can call it a "bullshit excuse" all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that this is the reason that was given. But it's like people just refuse to acknowledge the fact that Sasuke admitted that he had made a big mistake, and refused to allow Sakura to apologise because he knew that he was the one at fault:
Tumblr media
I mean what? Do people think that Sasuke has to be perfect or something? Is he not a human who makes mistakes just like everyone else? Sasuke knew that he took his secrecy too far, he hadn't anticipated the adverse affects his absence would have on Sarada, and he apologised for his mistake. Why? Because he cares, for goodness sake it's not hard to comprehend. I seriously would have never thought that people would actually question whether or not he loves his family. Why would Kishi promote a loveless marriage in his manga aimed at young boys? It just boggles the mind. If Sasuke didn't care about them, he wouldn't have thought he did anything wrong by his lack of contact with his daughter. I emphasise with his daughter because Sakura was still somewhat in contact with Sasuke as she was kept informed of what he was doing.
In my opinion Kishimoto wrote SS in this ambiguous way to appease both the SS haters and the SS shippers.
Why would Kishi care about appeasing the same fans who harassed him so badly following the manga's conclusion, that his editior had to respond in broken English and basically tell those entitled children that the story doesn't belong to them? I'll reiterate that there's nothing "ambiguous" about their relationship, nor is Kishi implying anything. Gaiden made it crystal clear, that the love between the Uchiha family is the real deal, there's nothing ambiguous about that statement, there's nothing ambiguous about Sasuke giving Sakura the forehead poke, and there's nothing ambiguous about Sasuke flat out clarifying that his heart is connected to Sakura's.
132 notes · View notes
catzula · 4 years
Text
Seven stages of falling in love.
Tumblr media
Synopsis: You're afraid of needles and Bakugou is not the most suitable person that should be handling your shots for seven days.
Pairing: bakugou x reader
Warnings: cursing, I have no idea how long it is since it's written on my phone this time, probably a lot of errors
Genre: fluff, some tiny bit angst but a happy ending so no worries
A/N: I was on a 9-hour road trip and wrote this to keep me sane.
BTW 50 followers yaay!
Tumblr media
Day 1
"What do you mean I need to get antibiotic shots for a week?!" You exclaimed, refusing to believe what you just heard. It was just a sore throat, or so you had thought. You never liked doctors, so you rarely saw one, but when your 'sore throat' lasted for a whole month, your friends literally forced you to go see one.
You knew it wasn't anything important, but maybe it would help to get a home rest for a day or two, giving you a little more time to binge anime study for that one exam that was coming up.
All your hopes and dreams died when you;
a) didn't get to have any home rest, cause apparently, you didn't have to stay home for a sore throat,
b) had to get shots for a week?!
This was why you hated doctors! You went in for a sore throat, hoping to get a home rest, and got what? A week of-
"It means what I just said." The doctor answered your question gruffly, making you send him a questioning look. Weren't the doctors supposed to be all nice and smiley? This one sure wasn't.
"I don't want to!" You whined, "Isn't there a pill or something I could take?" He sent you a look that could only mean, are you dumb or something?
But you couldn't care less about what he thought about you, though he was one of the most handsome men you had ever seen, all you were thinking about was doing whatever you could to not get any shots. "Is there no other way?" You asked, once again. This caused him to sigh loudly, turning his red eyes once again on you.
"No. You'll come here every day for a week to get shots, no pills, no nothing. Okay?" The harsh tone of his voice sent chills through your body, blood-red eyes of his made you wonder if they were real. "I- uh... Yeah, okay." You told him, feeling a little intimidated, though you wouldn't admit it if it killed you.
He turned his back to you while he prepared the syringe, giving you the perfect chance to look at him without being crushed under his crimson gaze.
His shoulders were so wide and his waist so narrow, it created the perfect triangle. You could see his the muscles of his arms flexing with every move, you almost felt unable to take your eyes off of his arms. But what stood out the most was his ash blonde, spiky hair. It defied the gravity in a way you had never seen before, and you just wanted to run your fingers through them, wondering if they were as hard as they looked.
He turned his face to you, you knew he noticed you staring, you could see that by the smirk he sent you, though he didn't comment on it.
You took deep breaths in, trying to calm yourself, though you could feel the blood draining from your face, your hands shaking ever so slightly. His brows furrowed, a look of slight frustration on his face. "You okay?"
You gulped, biting your lip. "I- I'm just..." you didn't want to admit you were scared of needles, not to him, but he did it for you. "You're scared."
You shrugged, still not admitting but not denying either. "You could say I'm not a fan." He rolled his eyes, looking at you as you were dumb. "Nobody is a fan." You could swear you heard him mumble, dumbass under his breath.
He pressed the base of the syringe slightly, testing it, not noticing or simply ignoring the look you had sent him. He rubbed alcohol on your arm, bringing the syringe closer. He was about to stick it when you couldn't stop yourself and gripped his wrist with all your might. Your hand couldn't wrap his wrist at all, and he could have ripped it free so easily, though he didn't.
"What the-"
"Wait!" You told him, not aware of what you were doing, your fear taking over. "Please don't? I don't- don't want... it."
"Come on, it doesn't hurt that much." He told you, feeling his frustration growing bigger with every second that past. He was Bakugou Katsuki, for fucks sake, he wasn't supposed to deal with little girls afraid of needles.
He was the number one of his class, he always was. He decided he wanted to be a doctor and save lives when he was so little, and he always had that dream in him. He worked so hard to achieve that, and now he was spending his summer as an intern in the best hospital of Japan, the hospital he always wanted to work at.
But this wasn't it! Ever since he started, they gave him small, insignificant things to do, like check-ups he was doing now. Sore throat? Who did they think he was, making him check sore throats and runny noses?
He felt so frustrated, he didn't notice you trembling like a leaf under his touch. Your eyes were so wide open, filled with pure fear, your under lip trembling, your hands gripped his wrist like it was your lifeline.
"I'm sorry-" you told him. "I just can't... can't stand needles."
He sighed, though he could feel his frustration disappearing slightly.
"That's fine, I guess." He told you, earning a hopeful glance from you. "Just look at me, nowhere else." That wasn't hard, was it? You couldn't take your eyes off of him anyways. You locked your eyes with his, noticing how oddly soothing his hard toned voice was.
"Listen to me, okay?" He told you. "My name's Bakugou. I went to UA Medical school, and this is my third year, 'm an intern here." You never would have guessed he was that young, only a year older than you, and he went to one of the hardest universities in Japan?
You never once looked away from his eyes, trying to forget the sharp object that was about to enter your skin. When he asked about you, you gulped, you were about to send a small glance at your arm, the one he was holding, but he gripped your chin with his free hand, not letting you look anywhere else, but his eyes.
"I- I'm Y/N." You whispered. "I'm going to ****, and I'm a second year." He nodded, and you smiled weakly.
"That's cool." He told you, "though not cooler than the fact that I finished your shot almost two minutes ago." A smug grin was now curving his lips.
"You what?!" You exclaimed, you looked at your arm, which now had a small band-aid. "You- you... how did you do that?" You asked him, smiling uncontrollably.
"A doctor never reveals his secrets." He told you, though you saw he had a small smile too.
You took your bag and coat, about to exit the room when you sent a small glance his way. "Thank you, doctor Bakugou. " You told him, earning a surprised look from him.
Nobody had ever thanked him this way before.
Day 2
"Hi," you stood at the door, not sure whether you should enter or just stay there.
"Why the hell are you standing there?" He asked you roughly. "Oh, uh, sorry." He shrugged, sipping his coffee. You could tell by the smell that it was pure poison, or in other words, espresso.
"Don't apologize and sit down already."
You sat down, feeling uncomfortable, though you weren't sure why. Maybe it was because you showed him your vulnerable side the day before? You weren't sure. 
Your eyes wandered over his figure, he looked as handsome as he was the first time you saw him, or maybe even more? It shouldn't be allowed to be so handsome, you thought. And why did that white coat look so good on him?
Though he was aware of you watching his every move, he didn't want to say anything about it since he could feel your growing panic as he walked towards you with the syringe in his hands.
"We're doing it as we did it yesterday. "He told you, "You're looking at me, and me only." He smirked when he saw you nodding. "Good."
"Now, tell me, what are you studying?" He shook his head, genuinely looked interested as he listened you blabbering. "Why are you doing this?" You asked him. "Is it for the money?"
He shrugged, though he had a smirk on. "I'll tell you about that another day since you're good to go."
"No way!" You told him, looking at your arm, which was once again already stung, cleaned, and stuck with a cute little band-aid.
"You're the best. " You told him as you giggled, still not over the fact that he already gave you two shots without you even noticing.
"Of course I'm the fucking best." He told you, making you giggle once again. "Not sure you should be using that language around your patients, Doctor Bakugou."
He made a tch noise, turning his back to you. "Whatever, go complain to the administration or something." His voice was harder than you had ever heard from him, though to his surprise, you giggled as you walked to the door.
"Of course I'm not going to do that," you told him, smiling sweetly. "Don't expect me to complain about my favorite doctor."
With that, you left the room, leaving Bakugou once again struck with shock. Nobody ever told him he was their favorite doctor, on the contrary, people loved to complain about his angry behavior and foul mouth.
And though he would never accept it, he smiled ever so slightly, noticing a warm feeling spreading to his chest.
Day 3
"Hey, doctor." You entered the room, a big smile on your face that you didn't seem to have any control over.
"Hey." He answered, making you surprised. This was the first time he said 'hey' back. "I noticed you changed our appointment hours." It used to be in the morning but you had learned just today that he changed it to 13:00.
"Yeah." He answered, looking a little uncomfortable. "Why?" You asked further, but your eyes widened a little when you noticed his cheeks had a pink tint to them. "I fucking wanted to, okay?"
"Okay," you told him, laughingly. "I was just curious, you know?"
Nope, you weren't just curious. You wanted to know if it was because he had a date or something, and even though that didn't make any sense at all, you just couldn't help yourself.
What he didn't tell you was that he did change your appointments because of a girl, you. He switched your appointment to right before his lunch break so he could spend a little more time with you, though he couldn't even admit that himself.
"Don't be." He answered as you sat down. This time he had prepared the syringes before you came so that you wouldn't get anxious as he prepared them in front of you.
"That looks like a nice book." He told you as he rubbed your arm with alcohol. You were so stressed that you couldn't even understand what book he was referring to, not aware that you were holding the book in your hands for your dear life. "It's my favorite book." You answered, not looking away from his eyes. You could swear you saw his eyes in your dream last night.
"What's it about?" He asked, once again, looking genuinely interested. You loved talking about books, so much that people would sometimes ask you to stop. But he looked so interested, like he was actually listening, not because he had to, but he wanted to, you couldn't stop.
You started talking about this book, jumping to talk about another, then another. He joined you some time, you weren't really sure when. You started to talk about your favorite books, you talked about his favorite book, argued on one book that he liked, but you hated, did the same with a book you loved, and he didn't.
The conversation lasted so long, and you wouldn't have stopped if your phone hadn't ringed. "Oh, fuck." You mumbled under your breath, realizing you were in there for at least an hour and a half. "I'm so sorry, I lost control!" You told him, laughing nervously. Did you bore him to death?
"It's okay, I guess." He told you, his hand scratching the back of his neck. "You do talk too fucking much, but it wasn't necessarily bad. And it was actually my lunch break, so I won't get in trouble or shit."
"Oh, okay." You answered smiling once again. "I guess, I owe you lunch now."
You exited his room before you let him answer, you were afraid he was going to tell you to fuck off or something, though you had never thought he would agree, he was about to do just that before you sprinted out the room.
He realized only minutes after you exited that you left your 'favorite book' behind, only for him to read it.
Day 4
"Instant noodles?" He asked you, with a look on his face you couldn't quite interpret. It resembled something along the lines of trying to hold his laughter in and thinking you were the dumbest person on the earth.
"I did owe you lunch, you know." You told him. 
"Yeah, I know, but I thought you meant something like a bagel or some shit, somewhere outside the hospital."
Thinking back, maybe instant noodles were a bad idea.
"How about tomorrow?" You asked. He shrugged, "Fine, whatever." He looked indifferent, but his pink-tinted cheeks told you he wasn't.
He shrugged, you noticed he did this a lot when he was uncomfortable, you also noticed how fast your heartbeat was every day you entered this room, and not because of the needles.
You noticed how, since the first day, you woke up feeling excited about seeing him. Thinking about what you were going to talk about that day, as you go about your day when something happened, you found yourself thinking about telling it to him the next day.
You noticed how your heart clenched, a dreadful feeling in your stomach, when you thought about the week was coming to an end.
You noticed you were starting to... fall in love with him.
You talked about this to your friends too, and they were more than aware of how your eyes glistened when you talked about him, how you smiled unintentionally.
And the problem was, that he was also aware of all these too. He saw how you looked at him, and he wasn't dumb, he knew what these meant, as well as the tightening in his chest.
You weren't the only one, waking up, excited to see each other. When Denki said something dumb, he thought about telling it to you the next day, he thought about what he could talk about with you to soothe you the next time you gripped his wrist, asking him to stop with teary eyes, he never ever wanted to see you looking that afraid ever again. Hell, he even looked at wikihow, how to calm someone down when they feel afraid, and he was about to be a doctor for God's sake.
It was scary for him, to be this vulnerable for someone, to care so much in such little time, such a foreign feeling taking over his sensible part.
He was about to say something else when he noticed your knee and the very poorly wrapped bandage over it, you had 'wrapped' the bandage like a shoelace and he never in his life saw something so horrible. He sent you a look that made your cheeks all red.
"What the fuck is this?" He asked you, opening the bandage in one quick motion. "Oh, I fell yesterday, nothing too serious."
"You dumbass," Bakugou mumbled as he looked at the wound closely. "Didn't you even clean it?" He asked angrily.
"I did!" You told him. "I mean, I tried to. But it hurts when I touch it..." He rolled his eyes as he took some stuff from the drawers. "Are you afraid of these too?" He asked sarcastically, not expecting an answer, but you did anyway.
"No." You answered as you pouted. "Just needles." He shook his head as he laughed softly. "And trees at night." You mumbled and he froze.
"You have to be kidding me!" He told you, he wasn't even treating the wound anymore, but just looking at you like he waited for you to say you were joking.
"Hey! You have to admit they have a scary side to them!"
"Trees at night?"
"Don’t laugh." You pouted. "They look all shadowy and like... they have long arms, open wide like they're about to catch you and never let you go."
"Oh my God," he groaned as he went on cleaning your wound. "That’s the dumbest thing I've heard." Though he thought it was the most adorable thing he heard too. A girl afraid of needles and trees at night.
The wound stung a little, but you didn't even feel it, you were thinking deeply about wanting to touch his hair. When he finished, your knee was wrapped nicely, and it didn't even hurt anymore.
"So, you never told me why you wanted to become a doctor." You told him as you recalled your chat the first day.
"Thought you would forget about that." He told you as you laughed. "Never."
"I wanted to save people, ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a... hero, I guess." He told you, not even sure why he was telling you such a personal thing when almost no one knew this about him.
You couldn't stop the words tumbling down your lips. "I don't know about other people, but you're my hero."
Oh, shit. Your words led to a very awkward silence, and you thought you probably shouldn't have said that, though you meant every word.
"Thank you for that." He mumbled finally, causing your head to snap up and lock your eyes with his. You didn't expect him to thank you, at all, but now you just couldn't stop grinning.
"I feel like I'm getting over my fear." You said as you looked at the band-aid on your arm, the band-aid which, once again, miraculously appeared there. There was no way he could give you a shot, clean the small wound, and put a band-aid without you noticing at all! He was either a magician or you were in too deep.
"Yeah, seems like it." He told you, though he wasn't very enthusiastic about it.
You both ate your instant noodles in silence, I'm telling you, it's a bad idea to eat instant noodles with your crush, especially if its the first time you're eating together, and you just didn't know why his presence felt so distant and so awkward all of a sudden.
After you finished your noodles, oh my God why did that last that long? you grabbed your stuff, feeling a weird tug in your chest. "I think I should go."
His crimson eyes found yours, but you had no idea what he was thinking. "Okay." 
"See you tomorrow?" You asked, but a grunt was your only answer.
Day 5
"What do you mean Doctor Bakugou has another patient?" You asked the receptionist. She looked at you like you were dumb. "He isn't available at the moment, miss. Doctor Kirishima will be looking after you today."
You didn't know who Kirishima was, but you knew you didn't want him to handle you.
"Can I maybe come later? When he's available?" You asked with the last piece of hope left in you. "I'm sorry, miss." She answered by not actually answering. You sighed as you looked at the red-haired man watching you with a smile. He looked like a nice guy, but he wasn't the reason you were here.
***
"Wow, " Kirishima rubbed his temples as he took a so from his coffee. "One patient really pushed me today."
"What?" Bakugou asked, his voice so stern, Kirishima's eyes narrowed as he looked at his friend. He was really moody lately, and Kirishima wasn't sure why.
"I had this one girl, apparently she was afraid of needles." Suddenly Bakugou's hand was gripping the glass he was holding it a little too hard. "I tried to convince her that it wasn't going to hurt, but she was crying so hard I don't think she even heard me."
"She was crying?" Bakugou's voice was nothing more than a whisper, he could feel how fast his heart was beating, and how tight the grip on his chest was. Kirishima had never seen his friend worry over someone, and he never thought he would either, but today he could sense something was up. "Well, yeah. Really hard. But it wasn't the crying that got me but more like... She was so afraid, genuinely terrified. Even after the whole thing, she kept looking at her arm and still looked scared."
Bakugou looked away, he didn't want to hear this anymore. "That must be tough."
Kirishima shrugged. "I felt bad."
That day, Bakugou left the hospital with an ache in his chest.
Day 6
You didn't want to go back to the hospital. You didn't. You were too scared.
You had thought you were over your fear, but obviously not. You could only stand them when... He was around.
The moment you thought about the spiky blonde hair and red eyes, you felt your chest tightening.
You entered the lobby, eyes instinctively going to the door that had his silver initials. Your heart fluttered in your chest, longing to see him, praying that he would be here. You walked to the receptionist. She was telling you the same thing she did yesterday -sorry ma'am, he's just not available- when the door opened, and the silhouette of a man you longed to see standing in the doorway with a cup of coffee in his hand.
A smile found its place on your lips as you started to walk towards him -the receptionist was trying to talk to you still, but who cares- feeling relief washing over you.
He was here! You felt so relieved having him here, not only because he could do your injection without you noticing -but you had to admit, that was an amazing skill right there- but also because you... trusted him. You trusted Bakugou so much, that you could open your heart to him. You loved how he listened to you when you were talking about nonsensical things, how angry of a person he was but actually so nice, how he told you he hated those 'dumbass' friends of his, desperately trying to conceal how much he loved them.
He didn't see you as you walked to him, his eyes on the paper he was holding in his hand. You were about to call his name when you heard your name being called, though it wasn't he who said it.
Your brows furrowed, eyes turning to ho was calling you. The doctor from the day before stood there next to you, with a smile plastered on his face, his hand touching your arm slightly, about to lead you to his office. "Miss Y/N, you're with me today."
Bakugou's eyes snapped up, finding you almost instantly as he heard your name being called. Realizing you were also looking at him, his crimson eyes widened a little. "But..." you started to tell Kirishima, but the guilt-stricken look Bakugou sent you that he tried to conceal told you everything you should know.
You felt like your heart that was just hammering your chest stopped, hurt spreading in your body. Bakugou wasn't coming to the appointments on purpose, avoiding you, trying to get rid of you.
Were you really that hard to deal with? He couldn't take it not even for a week? You thought about the chats you had and how much you laughed when you were near him, and your chest tightened. Maybe you just were talking too much. Or maybe, he just didn't want to deal with a girl who was afraid of needles.
You let Kirishima lead you to his office, trying not to look at the man that you just turned you back to.
Even though you avoided looking at him, Bakugou could see how hurt you were in your eyes. And as he watched you walk with Kirishima, concealing how afraid you were and how much your knees were shaking, he felt like the asshole everyone told him he was.
***
Bakugou went to Kirishima's office the second you left. "How was she?"
Kirishima sighed, taking a sip from his coffee as he watched his angry friend with curious eyes. "I don't know, man. It was just weird." Bakugou's eyes widened, his hand anxiously running through his hair. "What the fuck does that even mean, shitty-hair?!" Bakugou felt like he was going to punch his red-headed friend if he didn't give him straight answers now. And obviously, Kirishima was aware too.
"Woah, chill down. Why do you even care, Bakubro? Never saw you so interested in any of your patients." Bakugou gritted his teeth. It was true he never really cared for his patients, nothing else than their health. But it was different with you, he cared about you, and everything about you.
"Just answer the damn question already." Said Bakugou gruffly, avoiding to answer his question.
Kirishima shrugged. "It was weird." He repeated. "Yesterday she was crying, at one point she begged me not to do it. I don't think she's scared of the needle hurting him but more like the needle itself." Bakugou knew all of this, and he was going to punch him in the guts if Kirishima didn't get straight to the point. "But today she was silent."
Silent? He had never seen you silent.
"She was like a- a statue. Didn't even flinch when I stuck the needle in her, didn't cry, or said a word. She was just looking at the needle and my hand, genuinely terrified. I felt like I was stabbing her or something." Kirishima recalled the memory, and a chill went through him.
Bakugou wasn't very different either. Thinking you like that broke his heart. He could understand you crying, and he would still be mad at himself for letting you cry, but what Kirishima told him was something else. It almost made him afraid.
"Anyways, I don't know man, tomorrow's the last day anyway."
"Yeah." Bakugou mumbled as he tried to forget what Kirishima just told him.
***
Bakugou couldn't get the image of you frozen with fear out of his mind the whole day. He buried himself in his work, still not able to think about anything else but you.
He went home, exhausted.
He took a shower and ate something when he saw the book you had left for him to read laying on his dining table. Ignoring the tightening in his chest, he picked the book up, and he realized the book was the only thing that could make him stop thinking of you, even just for a second.
And as he read, nonstop, he could swear the trees he saw from his window were watching him, making him feel a little creeped out.
Hell, maybe trees at night were creepy after all.
Day 7
Bakugou was having a bad day.
First of all, he had read your favorite book the whole night, not getting any sleep whatsoever. He wasn't the type of man to stay up till night, he never liked to do so either, but he did just that. No cup of coffee was helping him either.
What was bothering him, though, was that you just wouldn't show up. It was almost the end of his lunch break, and you still weren't anywhere to be seen. He knew that because he had been asking the receptionist about you every 5 seconds for the last hour or so.
He sighed as he finished the last sentence of the last chapter, of the book he was so caught up on, and as on cue, you went in the doors as he closed the book.
Bakugou felt anxiety doubling the beating of his heart as he saw you talking to the receptionist. He started to walk to you, replaying the speech he had decided on the day before to talk to you. But as you lifted your head and your gaze found his, he forgot everything that was on his mind.
And awkward silence sneaked in between you both as he towered over you. "Uh, hey," Bakugou mumbled.
"Hey." You said. "Umm, where is doctor Kirishima?" Ouch, Bakugou thought. He knew you didn't do it on purpose but it hurt anyway. "He won't be with you today," Bakugou told you, you didn't know why he looked so tired today, but how did he still look so damn handsome? "I will."
Your eyes widened as you understood what he said relief and anxiety washing over you at the same time.
You didn't trust your voice to say anything, so you just nodded.
As you sat in his office, awkwardly tapping your fingers according to a rhythm, you didn't know he was trying to gather up the courage to apologize. You didn't even mean to come in today, but you just didn't want him to see you as a coward, even more so. So you anxiously eyed the room when your eyes found the book you had left. He saw you looking at your book that was on his desk, and he smiled. "I finished the book."
"Does that mean I can have it back now?" You asked, making him grimace. He expected you to shower him with questions, to talk about it, to hear your voice... but apparently not.
"Yeah- yeah sure." You took the book back, holding it so hard, your knuckles turned white.
Bakugou sighed. "I missed you, you know."
Your heart started to beat so fast you were glad you were at a hospital. "Well, that isn't my fault." Bakugou didn't want to, but he smiled nonetheless. "No, it's not, it was me being an asshole."
"Right." You answered cynically, earning an angry look from the explosive guy.
"And I thought it was... for the best." He went on.
"Oh, of course, what else could it be?" You just couldn't seem to hold your tongue back today, and he was aware of that too.
"Can you not make this any harder?" He finally said gruffly. "I'm trying to fucking say that I'm-" his eyes widened as he realized what he was saying, that he was apologizing. But for the first time in his life, it didn't feel necessarily wrong.
"That I'm sorry."
You didn't need him to explain why he did what right now, just hearing that he was sorry was enough for you, so you smiled. "It really hurt, you know?" You told him as he started to walk towards you.
"I know." He answered, "and I'm fucking sorry." His hands held your arms as if he was about to pull you into a tight hug. But it wasn't necessarily a hug he was pulling you into. "But I can make it up to you." He whispered as he leaned in.
"And how are you going to do that?" You asked, but those were the last words you said before feeling the soft lips pressing on yours.
Your hands went to his hair almost instinctively, and you smiled into the kiss as you felt how damn soft they were.
***
"Remember that bagel promise we had? We could either do that or I could keep kissing you." He told you, smirking when he realized how breathless you were.
"But what about the..." your voice trailed off when you noticed the small band-aid on your arm. "When did you even do this?!"
882 notes · View notes
hacawijo · 3 years
Text
Alright, If We’re Gonna Play with Az’s Bonus Chapter, Let’s PLAY with Az’s Bonus Chapter (Pt. 2)
Yeah baby, part 2 of a PAINSTAKING close read lol.
Azriel winnowed into shadows before she could say anything he uses the shadows to ESCAPE, they are a coping mechanism, appearing at the door to Rhys’s study a heartbeat later. His shadows whispered in his ear that Elain had gone upstairs. It’s interesting that the shadows specifically report on Elain’s whereabouts here and not earlier, as well as later not reporting on Gwyn.
Rhys sat at his desk, fury a moonless night across his face. He asked softly, “Are you out of your mind?”
Azriel donned the frozen mask he’d perfected while in his father’s dungeon. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rhys’s power rippled through the room like a dark cloud. “I’m talking about you, about to kiss Elain, in the middle of a hall where anyone could see you,” he snarled. “Including her mate.” It is not out of line for Rhys to acknowledge that this was stupid. If for no other reason than that it would hurt Lucien if he saw/felt them.
Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it. Which is the mirror to something that Rhys notes in ACOFAS, that they are similar in their darkness. Because Rhys is really the only person Azriel can be himself with, completely, I think it’s important to acknowledge that this is unprecedented ground for them and specifically for Azriel. This is the first time Azriel can actually voice ANY of these thoughts out loud, and only because Rhys saw them, he did not bring this concern to Rhys himself. “What if the Cauldron was wrong?”
Rhysand blinked. “What of Mor, Az?” Also very not out of line thing to ask. Feyre is the only person Mor has really told about her sexuality, and so to Rhys and co. AND Azriel, nothing about this situation has changed in the past 500 years. The fact that Azriel is able to get over Mor, without that confirmation of her sexuality, because of Elain, is significant I think.
Azriel ignored the question. Hmm yeah, but he can’t keep ignoring this question forever, and that’s another reason he and Elain did NOT kiss in this chapter. He and his family and Mor all need closure regarding their relationship. “The Cauldron chose three sisters. Oh boy, I have a lot to say about the number three later on! Tell me how it’s possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another.” He had never before dared speak the words out loud. NEVER BEFORE DARED TO SPEAK THE WORDS OUT LOUD. This is the first time he’s even verbalizing these thoughts - of COURSE he doesn’t know how to navigate this conversation. This is raw emotion being spewed out right now, enhanced by the unresolved tension from his interaction with Elain.
Rhys’s face drained of color. “You believe you deserve to be her mate?” So, he says that his two brothers ARE WITH two of those sisters, which is a way to acknowledge the fact that both people in each pair accepted the bond and that it was a mutually built connection. Then he says “the third was given to another” which is actually really different. He’s saying that Elain was given to Lucien by the Cauldron, suddenly one member of that bond is not an active participant - and this is mostly true! Elain has ignored Lucien diligently, and she hinted about her lack of feelings for him when she asked Feyre why he should be entitled to her affections just because of the cauldron and whatever amends he has made. I don’t like Azriel saying that Elain is something to be given as opposed to a person to be connected to, but I’m not sure exactly what it means that he did that. ANYWAY, Rhys really does supply the word deserve, and we have evidence from earlier in this chapter that essentially proves that Azriel does not believe he deserves Elain, anyway. He is having an argument with Rhys, yes, but it almost feels like he’s arguing with himself.
Azriel scowled. “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him anyway.” (THE ONLY TIME ELAIN’S ACTUAL FEELINGS, ACTIONS ARE CONSIDERED IN THIS DISCUSSION BTW) Also, not that he doesn’t answer Rhys’s question. For Azriel, this isn’t necessarily about what HE deserves in this moment, it’s about what Elain wants. Almost certainly, Azriel DOESN’T believe that he deserves Elain, but he sees the injustice of her being forced to accept a bond with someone for political or spiritual/societal reasons. So while to Rhys it may seem like Azriel is is putting Lucien’s claim down in order to boost his own, I actually think Azriel is trying to distinguish a different issue - Elain’s agency. This same thing happened with Mor and Eris. ABSOLUTELY THIS IS NOT ALL LIKE THAT SITUATION BECAUSE LUCIEN IS NOT ERIS!!! I am not trying to compare their behavior. BUT, Azriel would have dueled Eris for Mor’s agency regardless of whether or not she chose to be with him.
“So you’ll what?” Rhys’s voice was pure ice. “Seduce her away from him?” Rhys, I think, misinterpreting Azriel and it’s mostly not Rhys’s fault. Azriel doesn’t communicate well and is not currently communicating well. That being said, I wish he would give Azriel more benefit of the doubt.
Azriel said nothing. He hadn’t got that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to. HE HADN’T PLANNED ANYTHING, this whole conversation is just like a raw nerve.
Rhys growled, “Allow me to make one thing very clear. You are to stay away from her.” Well come on, now, Rhys, what if she doesn’t want to stay away from him? BE A FEMINIST RHYS, just add, “unless she wants to see you”!
ALSO, DID RHYS TELL FEYRE ABOUT THIS? MY MONEY IS ON NO, AND IF RHYS DIDN’T TELL HER ITS BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE’S NOT WHOLLY DOING THE RIGHT THING BY ELAIN.
“You can’t order me to do that.”
“Oh, I can, and I will. If Lucien finds out you’re pursuing her, he has every right to defend their bond as he sees fit. Including invoking the Blood Duel.” Another really big sign that this is going to play out Elriel style is the mentioning of the Blood Duel. Chekhov’s gun eh?
“That’s an Autumn Court tradition.” The battle to the death was so brutal that it was only enacted in rare cases. Despite being an outsider, Azriel had wanted to to invoke it when he’d found Mor all those years ago. Had been ready to challenge both Beron and Eris to Blood Duels and kill them both. Yes see? He would have done this regardless of Mor’s feelings toward him. Only Mor’s right to claim their heads in vengeance had kept him from doing so.
“Lucien, as Beron’s son, has the right to demand it of you.” But hey fun fact Rhys knows that Lucien is almost CERTAINLY not Beron’s son. Interesting to consider in context.
“I’ll defeat him with little effort.” Pure arrogance laced every word, but it was true. Again, Azriel is dodging Rhys’s points and is honestly being pretty immature right now, but he hasn’t actually said ANYTHING about an intention to pursue Elain with any of this. Rhys has filled in the blanks, and Azriel has responded to smaller aspects of Rhys’s macro-points with which he finds fault. I think this is also because he knows Rhys is right about a lot of the realities of the situation, but he is in the mood to be contrary right now, so he’s fighting back where he can stomach it.
“I know.” Rhys’s eyes flickered. “And your doing so will rip apart any fragile peace and alliances we have, not only with the Autumn Court, but Also with the Spring Court and Jurian and Vassa.” Rhys bared his teeth. Rhys’s motivations are based entirely on things that have nothing to do with Elain’s feelings, which is sad. But, they’re not insignificant considerations. Though come on dude you did pretty much enable Hybern’s arrival to Prythian by alienating The Spring Court with Feyre’s escape.“So you will leave Elain alone. YES, ALONE, because Elain probably is PRETTY FREAKIN LONELY If you need to fuck someone, go to a pleasure hall and pay for it, but stay away from her.” Low. Blow.
Azriel snarled softly.
“Snarl all you want.” Rhys leaned back in his chair. “But if I see you panting after her again, I’ll make you regret it.” I do think this is a really ungenerous description of what was happening downstairs with Elain. Their interaction was careful and consensual, we have painstaking detail to prove that, and it was far from panting/animalistic in action.
Rhys had rarely threatened punishment or pulled rank. It stunned Azriel enough that it knocked him from his rage. This is another person taking ANOTHER choice away from Elain. I think she may find out about Rhys doing this and I personally think she’s gonna be rightfully pissed.
Rhys jerked his chin toward the door. “Get out.”
Azriel tucked in his wings and left without another word, stalking through the house and onto the front lawn to sit in the frigid starlight. To let the frost in his veins match the air around him.
Until he felt nothing. Was again nothing at all. With Elain, he is SOMETHING. Because he feels things.
Then he flew to the House of Wind, knowing that if he slept in the riverside manor, he’d do something he regretted. He’d been so vigilant about keeping away from Elain as much as possible, Further evidence that Azriel never intended to fight Lucien or make a stink over Elain and had stayed up here to avoid her, and tonight... tonight had proved he’d been right to do so.
He aimed for the training pit, giving in to the need to work off the temptation, the rage and frustration and writhing need.
He found it occupied. His shadows had not warned him. I am not sure what it means that his shadows didn’t warn him. It could mean that Gwyn is protected from his shadows/immune to them. It could mean that his shadows wanted him to go see Gwyn - either out of a desire for Azriel to find some peace with her or out of curiosity as to who/what she is?
It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running. Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where Gwyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight.
She stopped mid-slice, whirling to face him. “I’m sorry. I knew you all were going to the river house, so I didn’t think anyone would mind if I came up here and—“
“It’s fine. I came here to retrieve something I forgot.” The lie was smooth and cool, as he knew his face was. His shadows peered over his wings at her. They are… wary of her? They’re shy around her?
The young priestess smiled — and Azriel thought it might have been directed at his curious shadows. But she just hooked her coppery-brown hair behind an arched ear. “I was trying to cut the ribbon.” She pointed with her sword at the white ribbon, which seemed to glow silver. Some interesting language here and above (glimmering, glow etc.) to do with light, and again a juxtaposition between light and dark. But not a golden light, a colder/silver light.
“Aren’t you cold?” His breath clouded in front of him.
Gwyn shrugged. “Once you get moving, you stop noticing it.”
He nodded, silence falling. For a heartbeat, their gazes met. Gaze is definitely a romantically charged word, this is one of the tiny details that makes me unsure about the future nature of their relationship. He blocked out the bloody memory that flashed, so at odds with the Gwyn he saw before him now. I definitely do not think they are mates. I’m not closing the door on them being romantically involved, I don’t have enough evidence to do that, but I really think that if they were mates, Azriel would have known when he saw her at Sangravah.
Her head ducked, as if remembering it too. That he’d been the one who’d found her that day at Sangravah. Shades of Cassian’s reactions to Emerie’s wings having been clipped, in ACOFAS. “Happy Solstice,” she said, as much a dismissal as it was a holiday blessing.
He snorted. “Are you kicking me out?”
Gwyn’s teal eyes I have a lot to say about these teal eyes :) flashed with alarm. “No! I mean, I don’t mind sharing the ring. I just... I know you like to be alone.” Her mouth quirked to the side, crinkling the freckles on her nose. “Is that why you came up here?” I’ll talk more about this later, but there are a few small moments in the book where it seems like Gwyn might have a crush on Azriel, or some kind of special awareness/interest where he is concerned. I have seen almost no evidence that Az returns those potential feelings, except PERHAPS for the moment where he hears her screech and pays attention. But I think anyone would pay attention if someone screeched? Also he watches reverently as she cuts the ribbon, but that also feels like it would happen regardless of any romantic feelings he might have. But I don’t know for sure!
Sort of. “I forgot something.”
“At two in the morning?”
Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he’d spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. He cares that she not be feeling pain and grief, as he does with anyone he deems good, and that is part of why he offers her the smile, as he clearly says right here. “I can’t sleep without my favorite dagger.”
“A comfort to every growing child.”
Azriel’s lips twitched. I think her irreverence matches his sense of humor quite well. He refrained from mentioning that he did indeed sleep with a dagger. Many daggers. Including one under his pillow.
“How was the party?” Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music. This shadow is acting totally independent of him. She’s asking a simple question of Azriel at the moment, and he CAN’T hear the music he believes that shadow might be dancing to. Lightsinger evidence, I’d say.
“Fine,” he said, and realized a heartbeat later that it wasn’t a socially acceptable answer. “It was nice.” LOL I will say here that Azriel has to make a lot of conscious effort in this interaction. He makes himself respond in a specific way, which is not language that was used to describe his interactions with Elain earlier in the chapter. This could totally just be because he doesn’t know Gwyn that well, and certainly that’s a big part of it, but I think there’s something to be said for the fact that he is still filtering himself here with Gwyn in the quiet.
Not much better. So he asked, “Did you can the priestesses have a celebration?”
“Yes, though the service was the main highlight.”
“I see.” LOL
She angled her head, hair shining like molten metal. More glowing-type stuff “Do you sing?” I love Gwyn.
He blinked. It wasn’t everyday that people took him by surprise, but... which is great! Elain surprises him with the headache medicine in ACOFAS, Feyre surprises him with her intuition and tenderness throughout. I think this indicates that they will have a significant relationship regardless of its exact nature. “Why do you ask?”
“They call you shadowsinger. Is it because you sing?”
“I am a shadowsinger— it’s not a title that someone just made up.” It’s super-duper interesting that they actually discuss the fact that he’s a shadowsinger. When Feyre meets Azriel, she is curious, but specifically doesn’t ask follow-up questions or for expansion on the ability. Why specifically remind us here that Azriel is a shadowsinger and that Gwyn sings? If not to foreshadow something related to the ability and Gwyn?
She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. “Do you though?” She pressed. “Sing?”
Azriel couldn’t help his soft chuckle. “Yes.” I love Gwyn. She is the reason I now realize a lot of what I’ve been doing in my life is irreverence :P
She opened her mouth to ask more, but he didn’t feel like explaining. Or demonstrating, since that was surely what she’d ask next. So Az jerked his chin to the sword dangling from her hand. “Try cutting the ribbon again.” I love this so much. Maybe it is romantic, but I think that’s debatable. What’s not debatable is that it’s completely charming.
“What— with you watching?” It’s actually pretty funny that in order to avoid giving a demonstration of something that makes him vulnerable and puts Gwyn in the role of expert he flips it and makes her demonstrate vulnerability while he is the expert. Gwyn might be quite a bit braver than Azriel in some ways.
He nodded.
She considered, and he wondered if she’d say no, but Gwyn blew out a breath, steadied her feet and balance, and sliced. A beautiful, precise blow, but it didn’t sever the ribbon. SEE? Brave. I love Gwyn.
“Again,” he ordered, rubbing his hands against the cold, grateful for its bracing bite and the distraction of this impromptu lesson. Distraction is a notable word here. Azriel’s thoughts don’t really ever stray from Elain and his turmoil throughout this interaction, that’s what the word distraction tells us.
Gwyn sliced again, but the ribbon remained unyielding.
“You’re turning the blade a fraction as it comes parallel to the ground,” Azriel explained, drawing his Illyrian blade from down his back. “Watch.” He slowly demonstrated, rotating his wrist where she did. “You see how you open up right here?” He corrected his position. “Keep your wrist like that. The blade is an extension of your arm.”
Gwyn tried the movement as slowly as he had, and he watched her self-correct, fighting against the urge to open up her wrist and rotate the blade. She did it three times before she stopped falling into the bad habit. “I blame Cassian for this. He’s too busy making eyes at Nesta to notice such mistakes these days.”
Azriel laughed. “I’ll give you that.” I sense a lot of compatibility, just, again, not sure it’s romantic.
Gwyn smiled broadly. “Thank you.”
Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch. This is another line that I think offers the most evidence for something significant between Gwyn and Azriel. It’s lovely that she has helped to settle something restless in him with the distraction - and I think it’s important to note that it might not have done the same thing had he encountered Emerie or another trainee on the roof. At the same time, maybe it would have. Also love that his shadows like to watch Gwyn. Lightsinger/Shadowsinger evidence! This all being said, I can’t really think of an SJM romance that is built around a comfort zone. I can think of many friendships that operate that way, but not so much with the romances. There’s usually nervousness and flutters and passion and… restlessness, somewhere in there.
But— sleep. He needed to at least attempt to get some.
“Happy Solstice,” Azriel said before aiming for the archway into the House. “Don’t stay out too much longer. You’ll freeze.”
Gwyn nodded her farewell, again facing the ribbon. A warrior sizing up an opponent, all traces of that charming irreverence gone. I love Gwyn.
Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer. This feels VERY much like Lightsinger/Shadowsinger evidence. His shadows, as this chapter has demonstrated time and again, operate independently of him, and they react to Gwyn’s song. I also think it’s possible that Gwyn is sort of always singing, even when she’s not. Like she glows with song on some level, and that’s what his shadows are reacting to - because I don’t think she’d necessarily actually sing while attempting to cut the ribbon.
He slept as well as could be expected which means pretty much not at all y’all — he makes it clear he never expects to sleep well, but when Azriel returned to the River House to gather his presents before dawn, he found Elain’s necklace amid the pile. He pocketed it. Spent the rest of his day, even the blasted snowball fight, with every intention of returning it to the shop in the Palace of Thread and Jewels. How did the necklace get there??? Did Elain really put it there??? Seems like even more evidence that he assumes too much about her understanding of his feelings. Also, though, it seems really rude/OOC for Elain to do that. She gave up very quickly after he gave her a really thoughtful gift. SOMETHING’S FISHY.
But when he returned from the cabin in the mountains, he didn’t go to the market square.
Instead, he found himself at the library beneath the House of Wind, standing before Clotho as the clock chimed seven in the evening. Important to remember that this is one of the longest nights of the year, which means dusk is coming on later than it was when Nesta attended the evening service weeks/months prior- a service that started almost exactly when seven bells rang the time. It is very well possible that Azriel finds himself at the library as the evening service is happening. The one in which Gwyn sings. If she does have some kind of Lightsinger power in her, it may be that he was lured by that power instead of returning the necklace. Even if they always start at 7, he still arrives exactly at 7. The only point against this surmising that I’ve done is that Clotho led the service which Nesta attended, and yet she is here to greet Azriel. Either I’m wrong and the service is not happening at or around this time, OR the service can take place without Clotho occasionally, and this served the interest of the plot so that Az could speak with someone.
He slid the small box across her desk. “If you see Gwyn, would you give this to her?”
Clotho angled her hooded head, and her enchanted pen wrote on a piece of paper. A Solstice gift from you?
Azriel shrugged. “Don’t tell her it came from me.” Yes, it really doesn’t seem super romantic to re-gift a necklace to Gwyn. It just feels sour, if this is the start of a romance between them.
Why?
“Does she need to know? Just tell her it was a gift from Rhys.”
That would be a lie.
He avoided the urge to cross his arms, not wanting to look intimidating. He blocked out the memory that flashed— of his mother cringing before his father, the male standing with crossed arms in such a way that made his displeasure known before he opened his hateful mouth. This feels very important. We know VERY LITTLE about Azriel’s story, his past, and his family, and so I want to point out ANY and EVERY nugget we get!
“Look I...” Az searched for the words, his voice becoming quiet. “If there’s another priestess here who might appreciate it, give it to them. But I’m not taking that necklace with me when I leave.” I’m not exactly sure what it means that Azriel says this. It could be that he doesn’t want to make a thing of his potential feelings for Gwyn and so tries to deflect with this statement, both to convince Clotho and himself that it’s not about Gwyn. It could also mean that Azriel needed to be rid of the necklace, and wasn’t in the mood to fight with Clotho over an ultimately secondary (to getting rid of the necklace) impulse to give it to someone who provided him comfort and companionship at a time when he needed it.
He waited for Clotho’s pen to finish writing. Your eyes are sad, Shadowsinger.
He offered her a grim smile. “I lost the snowball fight today.” HE LOST THE FIRST SNOWBALL FIGHT IN 200 YEARS! And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because Gwyn made him feel better the previous night. I think he lost because he is in anguish over the situation with Elain. Again, I understand that anguish shouldn’t necessarily be a romantic thing, but in SJM’s writing it often is. This is a romance series, angst is a thing, stakes are a thing. It’s not necessarily the most healthy, but it’s also not all-the-way unhealthy. He just feels strongly about Elain and there are a lot of obstacles between him and finding a way to resolve those feelings for good or bad.
I am a counselor for folks who have and are dealt/dealing with sexual, gender-based, and interpersonal violence, and if you want me to do an analysis of all of the relationships in SJM’s writing that aren’t wholly healthy, there won’t be any left over. Except for maybe Sartaq and Nesryn. they really do have their shit together. I suspend a fair amount of my disbelief and professional knowledge in reading these books because I love them and they are fictional :) Also, relationships are complicated. It’s pretty rare for me to work with a client that has a cut-and-dry, black-and-white story.
Now, in my PERSONAL NOT PROFESSIONAL experience, shit is messy, and messiness, even in real life, doesn’t always mean something isn’t worth the strife. Though absolutely abuse and assault are a whole other thing. I think it’s really good to think critically about relationship dynamics in fiction, because it’s a safe place to do great learning and reflection. I also think it’s important to consider that the rules of our reality are not necessarily the rules of the reality being written by an author. Maybe you personally find Azriel’s feelings toward Elain (as they have been expressed so far) are beyond redemption, and are unhealthy to a point where the relationship cannot be salvaged. But that is not realistically a reason that the relationship in question won’t happen. Pretty much any negative/toxic assertions that can be leveled against Elriel based on the VERY SMALL amount of first-person perspective we have in the relationship could be leveled against at least a few of SJM’s other endgame couples. Totally happy to get into this more and provide those examples :)
Clotho was smart enough to see through his deflection. She wrote, I’ll give it to Gwyneth. Tell her a friend left it for her.
He wouldn’t go so far as to call Gwyn a friend, but... “Fine. Thank you.” Not sure what this means. Maybe just that it takes Az a while to open up to people and call them friends.
Clotho’s pen moved once more. She deserves something as beautiful as this. I thank you for the joy it shall bring her.
Something sparked in Azriel’s chest, but he only nodded his thanks and left. He could picture it, though, as he ascended the stairs back to the House proper. How Gwyn’s teal eyes might light upon seeing the necklace. For whatever reason... he could see it. And here we have the most romantic evidence for Az and Gwyn as a couple. Maybe he is falling for her and that’s why he can picture her smile. I really don’t know. I think it could also be that he is happy to be able to make her happy, in recognition of the comfort she gave him the previous evening. Maybe he can picture her because of her potential lightsinger status. Thoughts?
But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly. The image glowing, again, lightsinger-supporting language.
A thing of secret, lovely beauty. So now he is referring to Gwyn’s smile here. This is interesting, because Gwyn’s smile wouldn’t necessarily be a secret, but perhaps it is if you think of her as being hidden in the library, or that he’ll know about her smile and her receiving the necklace even though she won’t know that he’s the one who gave it to her. Or maybe he’s drop dead in love with her! Another thing that I don’t think is true given his stony attitude post-Solstice (when Gwyn is very much around) and the fact that he doesn’t seem to react viscerally to Gwyn’s kidnapping until Cassian points out that bad things could be happening to both her AND Emerie, as well as Nesta. He knows Gwyn just as well, if not better at this point, as he knew Elain when he reacted to HER kidnapping in ACOWAR. He was very riled, he was the one who noticed she was gone, he vowed almost immediately to go get her, knowing it might mean certain death (to be fair, he seems to have a bit of a death wish, BUT he’s still a pragmatist and doesn’t try to WASTE his life on things - either they’re essential to the court and/or Prythian’s wellbeing or essential to someone for whom he cares deeply.)
95 notes · View notes
bloodypapercut · 3 years
Text
common people (g.w. x reader)
hi loves! i’ve been listening to pulp so much and everytime common people plays i immediately think of george so i wanted to write something. i hope you all enjoy! <3
(requests are open)
word count: 2.8k
No prank, no act of mischief, no joke had ever managed to coerce the feelings that resided within George at that moment. The memory had been playing in his head for weeks since that day in Hogsmeade. The vivid image of her nose and cheeks dusted pink as snowflakes landed in her hair, her hand gripping at paper bag from Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop, and her hair whipping around her. He was consumed by her being, she radiated a sense of comfort and warmth that George had never felt from a complete stranger. She intrigued him in every imaginable way, he wanted to know everything about her, each sense in his body was heightened simply by being in her wake. It was the way she carried herself, something about it just seemed so different and enticing. He contemplated going up to her, but he knew with Fred right by his side it would not end well. So he watched from afar, unaware of Fred repeatedly kicking snow in his direction, a mediocre attempt on his behalf to capture his attention so they could go to Zonko’s.
It was breakfast, the bustle of knives and forks against plates, teaspoons against teacups, and the early morning chatter saturated with frivolous morning civility integrated into the usual dissonance of the great hall. George couldn’t bother to act interested in the conversation Fred and Lee tried to reel him into, whatever it was they were talking about was insipid compared to what he had in mind. Pushing around the strawberries on his plate with his fork, his head lulled against his palm, an attempt to subtly survey the room in order to find that girl from all those weeks ago. He’d seen her roaming the halls occasionally, or sitting hunched over a book quietly scribbling on a piece of parchment, or speaking in hushed tones to her housemates, none of it had helped his undying curiosity. She plagued his thoughts, he could relate almost anything to her somehow, despite the fact he had not once spoken to her. She was an enigma and he wanted nothing more than to know everything about her, to learn every habit, every favorite, and every detail.
He brought his cup of orange juice closer to his lips but as he looked around the room once again he saw her. She was leaving the great hall, a leather bag hanging on her shoulder loosely and a pile of books resting against her hip. There it was, that overwhelming cloak of emotions resting on his shoulders once again. Without thinking he rushed to her, no plan present in his mind.
“Hey, hi.” He panted, planted his hand against a pillar trying to catch his breath. She spun quickly, nearly dropping her books. As her gaze cast down at the hunched boy, she wondered what on earth he was doing saying hi to her, or if it was even directed at her.
“Hello? Um are you alright, you look a little red?”
“All for you love.” He winked, still struggling to steady his respiration. Her laugh was just as awkward as the situation and she tried her hardest to divert her attention to anything but the ginger in front of her. The crumbling stone walls, the rusty nails that the portraits hung on, the ornate handles on the classroom doors, she tried but she couldn’t. Because she was just as enthralled by his presence as he was with hers.
“I’ve seen you around.”
“So have I, Weasley.” She smiled warmly, an attempt to alleviate the tension.
“Is that right?”
“Indeed it is.” Another moment of uncomfortable silence followed.  
“Well, um anyway I was wondering if you’d like to go to the lake together sometime? If you want that is don’t feel pressured to say yes just because I asked you, it’s completely okay if you don’t-”
“Hey, calm down, yeah sure I don’t see why not.” The weight of her hand felt right against his forearm and he wanted to hold it in place forever, he grinned bashfully at her hand, which didn’t go unnoticed as she had squeezed his arm upon seeing his line of sight.
“4?”
“4.” She nodded before letting go of his arm and walking off, not bothering to glance over her shoulder.
After that afternoon together they became inseparable. Their lives orbit around the other and they learned everything there was to know about their partner, well almost. There was one thing she had kept from him, something that would normally be considered frivolous but in their case was quite the contrary. She hadn’t revealed that she was a part of the Rosier family, a pureblood family, similar to the Malfoys or the Blacks. Though she was treated with nothing but disdain for being a 'traitor' by her relatives, she was still technically a Rosier. She felt wrong for keeping it from him, but she never let that convince her to divulge her secret. She tried convincing herself that it wasn’t important, that it didn’t change anything. But she knew it did, it changed everything. No matter how many times she tried to delude herself, the intrusive thoughts that never stopped urging her to tell him continued their unabating blathering. Though she knew she never acted like them or shared their mentality, she knew how it would come across and she knew how George would react. A member of the Rosier family, a family known for possessing ostentatious pride due to their pureblood status dating someone part of a family deemed to be a stain on the sacred 28. Y/N was scared to lose everything she had with George, she was too afraid of the unknown so she kept it from him for as long as she could. That was a mistake, a huge one.
Everything seemed to be fine but one afternoon, when Y/N found that George wasn’t where they had agreed to meet she grew concerned. Her footsteps echoed as she ran to his dorm, worried he was hurt or in trouble.
“I know.”
“What are you talking about Georgie.” Her laughs were forced and stiff, she found it unusual for him to be so solemn. But as his shoulders deflated and his back hunched over his book she knew something was wrong, and she knew what it was. Before he could utter a single word she had already started berating herself in her head. How could one be so selfish? So inconsiderate and dull?
“You never told me? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” The incessant beating of her heart filled her ears, almost deafening her and making her unable to hear George’s voice, the voice that was usually filled with joy now sounded devastated and tumultuous. Tears had already threatened to cascade both of their cheeks and it was just a matter of time before someone started weeping.
“I didn’t think it mattered, I just wa-”
“But it does matter. It matters so much, are you completely oblivious to how the world works? How unfair it is to people like me? To people in my family? We’re a joke to people like you, so what was this all about?”
“I- George I’m with you because I love you, that’s all I swear. I’m not like them, I’m not.”
“So why'd you hide it then? Why couldn’t you just tell me?” His voice was hushed and fragile, he struggled to keep a steady tone, by instinct he remained stoic but his voice revealed how betrayed he felt.
“I just wanted a simple life, where it didn't matter your last name or your class or your blood purity, I didn’t want this to change our relationship. I wanted to be like everyone else. I want the future we always talk about, I don't care for any of that pureblood mania.”
“No! No you can’t say that not when you’re literally in one of the most prestigious and honored pureblood families. You don’t understand how bloody lucky you are Y/N! Honestly, have you ever realized that? You can do whatever you want and even if you fail you will never fall on your arse, but me, no I can’t do that if I failed I’m fucked. You can get away with anything with a simple call to your father, you can buy your way to the top. Why would you hide this from me? All this time, was I some charity case? Did your family force you to be with me just to get dirt on mine?”
“What? No! George! No...I just didn’t want this to change things and I’m sorry I’m so so sorry, I love you so much I was just scared please .”
“You’re just like the rest of them.”
“Oh, I- if that’s what you think, I’ll just leave you be, I’m sorry.” With her head hung low and tears clouding her vision she made haste to locate the doorknob and rush out of his room. She ignored the frantic footsteps and calls of worry from Hermione and Harry as she bulleted out of the common room. She ignored Fred and Lee who were sitting on the bench in a corridor as they scribbled onto sheets of parchment, she ignored Luna who tried to grab her attention, and Cho, and Angelina, and Neville, everyone, she was verklempt and if anyone even gave her a look of sympathy she knew she’d break down in tears.
The rest of the afternoon she stayed quietly in her bed, curled up in a ball with crumpled tissues surrounding her. She felt guilty for crying, she had brought this onto herself. That didn’t stop her though because upon realizing what she had done, the image of George so distraught, so disappointed, plagued her mind and broke her heart even more. It was something that would plague her memories forever. It was ruined, they were ruined.
Days dragged like molasses dripping from a spoon, every walk between class there he’d be, leaning against a pillar while throwing his head back in laughter, or during meal times, his arms flailing as he retold a story about a prank, or in the library his head lulling to the side as he waited for Fred to determine the missing ingredient for a potion they wanted to perfect before selling it. It hurt her, seeing that he was completely fine without her, like everything was normal. He was everywhere, and even if he wasn’t physically, mentally he was. The words rang in her ears again and again ‘you’re just like the rest of them,’ it stung each time it repeated. She was starting to believe that she was just as bad as they are, just as selfish and malevolent and spiteful. It clawed at the abyss of her mind, dragging her entire being into a spiral of endless darkness.
The air was cold, the kind that nipped at all your nose and made it hard to breathe. The walk from Y/N’s potions class to herbology wasn’t pleasant as her fingers turned numb and red. The stone flooring crumbled under her black school shoes as she kicked the pieces that already broke off. She watched as the pebbles ricocheted from the toe of the black vinyl to a slightly elevated stone tile, she’d focus on anything but the things that lingered in her subconscious. It had been working in her favor for the past couple of weeks, or months, she couldn’t really tell, everything blurred into one continuous string of agonizing events. She found herself being unaware of what was in front of her because without even realizing it she bumped directly into the boy she’d been trying to make sure her thoughts were devoid of. On instinct, his arms immediately gripped her forearms and her hands pressed against his chest. Time moved slower than ever as their eyes slowly raked up from where their hands were to the eyes of who they were on. They scrambled from each other, muttering pathetic ‘sorry’s and speed walking with promptitude to opposite ends of the corridor.
The worst part was that no matter how often they tried to steer away from the other, they’d always cross each other's path. It got to the point where they weren’t even trying to hide their yearning to talk, they’d openly send longing stares but would never act on their desires. So much was unsaid and they realized they couldn’t just leave how things were, they had to talk about where they stood. The conclusion of that conversation was unclear and that’s what frightened them the most. The reality was that every day they refused to communicate out of obdurate pride, their relationship became more and more decrepit. George felt doltish and penitent, he didn’t mean what he said, he was hurt, angry and confused. Y/N felt guilty, she hurt the love of her life due to her selfish wishes to avoid confrontation.
It had been about 2 months, 2 agonizing, and treacherous months. George finally cracked, and much like the way things had started between them, he was looking for her in the great hall. He searched, pushing himself up slightly against the table, for any sign of her, anyone who would know where she was. It didn’t take long as he found Luna’s prolific hair, and there she was sitting right next to her. He could see her pushing around the vegetables on the golden plate in front of her, her cheek resting in her palm as a dejected countenance presented itself on her face. It saddened him to see her beautiful face so full of despondency. He couldn’t take it anymore, he had to talk to her, he’d gone crazy without her. He abhorred pretending it didn’t phase him when he wasn’t with her, she had become a vital part of his life in such a short time. He knew she meant well. He wanted to fix things, he had to. Swiftly George dug through Ron’s back to grab a piece of parchment and scribbled using the quill Hermione was using, to the both of their dismays. He acted before he could fully process what his plan was because before he knew it he was faced with Y/N. Her eyes widened upon his arrival but before she could think of anything to say he placed the folded piece of parchment in front of her plate and dashed to the Gryffindor table. Dropping her fork she unfolded the parchment and smiled softly at the scraggly writing she adored so much.
'Astronomy Tower at 8?'
-----
She feared that she'd collapse as she feebly made her way up the steps to the astronomy tower. Her gloved hand held the note firmly, hoping that there was still a chance for them to fix everything. As she rounded the corner to ascend the final steps she found George sitting there.
"Y/N, you came" He breathed out, almost in disbelief.
"I'll take any chance to see you again." She mentally berated herself for saying something so sappy, but she noticed his eyes widen and his back straighten slightly.
"You're early."
"So are you."
"Yeah, I- uh yeah. I wanted to make sure I didn't miss you." A heavy silence fell upon them and they bore holes into each other with their apprehensive stares, waiting to see who would speak first.
"I'm sorry." "I'm sorry." They blurted at the same time, but Y/N nodded for him to continue.
"I didn't mean it, any of it. You're nothing like them I know that, just shocked me y'know? I should've never said those cruel, demeaning things to you, I know who you really are and I love you. Merlin, I'm so deeply and madly in love with you, and I really hope I haven't screwed us up. I understand if you don't want to get back together, after everything, but please if there is still a part of you that wants 'us' to happen again, tell me."
She nodded enthusiastically throwing herself into George's direction, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face between his shoulder and neck. He immediately pulled back slightly to grab her face with his hands, rubbing her cheeks with his thumbs. He pressed his forehead against hers and smiled so hard his face hurt.
"I meant everything I said, about the future and wanting to spend it with you. My mother and father...they're relatives but not family, they've never felt like home the way that you do." She felt him nod against her forehead. He held her chin between his index and thumb, tilting her head so her lips met his. He ghosted his lips over hers, brushing past them before connecting them softly. The warmth he's always felt ever since he saw her returned, and it cloaked his senses as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. After minutes of fervently compensating for lost time, with roaming hands and whispers or repeated 'i love you's and plans for their future, they pulled apart. Standing in silence in each other's embrace, they knew they'd make it through all the tumultuous times ahead because they had each other.
164 notes · View notes
asleepinawell · 3 years
Note
hiii not sure if it’s okay to ask a poi question but here it goes - i recall seeing you expressing (at least some level of) discontent with what Harold has done on the show (to root, to shaw and all those hypocritical decisions throughout). would you like to share more about your thoughts on this character? tks
always okay to ask poi questions. since the fandom is pretty small these days i was going to put my answer under a read more line so people could ignore it more easily if it’s a subject that bothers them but apparently you can’t add read more lines in ask answers? thanks tumblr! so if this is a topic that annoys anyone, please, just skip it. also, while some of this is facts or based on facts a lot of stuff is obviously my opinion and therefore not canon and not the only opinion etc etc.
in general, i wasn’t crazy about the way harold treated any of the other characters (with the exception of john who he had a pretty great relationship with). for root, there was the refusal to call her root, which i found very gross and uncomfortable (like, in general you should respect what people ask to be called, but also it was linked to the traumatic death of her childhood friend and he absolutely knew that so fuck that shit). he even said something along the lines of 'john reese is what you prefer to be called' to john right in the first episode? he was okay with using reese's fake name, but not hers because he made her identity into a power game.
he also tended to be..hmm, patronizing is the wrong word (and lbr root was extremely patronizing to everyone) but more that he treated her like ‘rehabilitating’ her was his pet project or something. i mean one thing that always struck me was his ‘what happened to you’ line in bad code and then the subsequent decision to put her in a mental institution instead of, you know, jail, which is where every other perp they ran into tended to go. he saw her as broken and flawed and in need of his help which, to me, came off as hypocritical and belittling.
also, putting someone in a psychiatric institution where they get pumped full of drugs when they don’t need to be? really fucked up! even if you argue root needed therapy/was depressed whatever, that’s not what they were treating her for. they were treating her for ‘delusions’ and ‘hearing voices’ which were...real things. like, the machine was speaking to her. harold knew that. he let her get put on all sorts of medication and put in solitary confinement and oh yes also her doctor was a really fucked up dude, something harold could easily have dug up if he’d bothered. also the whole ‘killing off a woman to advance a man’s character development thing’ is, uh, a bad trope. to put it mildly. i could write a lot more about his shit with root but let’s move on.
in some ways, his attitude towards shaw bothers me most. he consistently treats her like she’s violent and unhinged because she has aspd and despite the large amount of evidence to the contrary. she is, in fact, the most cool and controlled member of the team (not counting carter) and the least likely to go off half-cocked. shaw does play into this, but mostly only with harold and only through her words, not her actions. she knows what he thinks of her. when she’s captured by samaritan, harold gives up on her very quickly in a way he would never have done for john (and probably not for root either at that point). shaw’s reaction to sim!harold in 6741 of ‘did you even look for me’ says a lot about what she thinks he thinks of her. his whole ‘binary moral compass’ line to her is also, uh, heavily projecting. shaw and carter had the strongest moral compasses of the group. by a long shot. 
moving on to the machine. so first and foremost, if you’re creating a sentient being, whether that’s having a kid or making a self-aware AI, you don’t create something with the intention of locking it up and ignoring it forever. (and he was creating her for the bush/cheney administration???? who TM pointed out was terrible if he somehow had managed to miss that. root called them something like the worst people imaginable and she wasn’t exaggerating). was it too dangerous to let TM be free from the get go? maybe! but then don’t fucking make an AI you think can destroy the world, buddy. there are a lot of reasons he made TM and none of them make this acceptable to me. once TM had clearly proven to be not a threat and trying to help he continued to ignore her and act like she was dangerous.
harold always needed very badly to feel like he had the moral high ground and not be the person who made a bad decision, which yes, is probably partly due to the trauma from what happened to nathan but that doesn’t make it okay when being paralyzed by being unable to make a decision got people killed. more than once! also, most of his morals got tossed out when they weren’t convenient. wouldn’t kill the senator to save the world because killing is bad! next episode he’s like if anything happens to grace kill all of them. cool story, still murder.
i wanna conclude this rant by talking about harold as a character vs harold as a person. meaning, harold as a fictional character who is used as a narrative device in a story as opposed to harold himself without the context of him being fictional. i don’t mind characters who say and do things i dislike. it’s very important to have characters you dislike as people imo. feels like an understatement. but lambet, for example, is a slimy asshole. the story is aware of this. he gets an ending a slimy asshole deserves. harold has a lot of flaws, and causes a lot of damage, gets his friends killed, and his stubborn refusal to budge on his arbitrary moral high ground lets samaritan take over and almost makes team machine lose. he gets a happy ending. with the woman he lied to (and caused a lot of pain and grief by lying to). root ends up dead, shaw gets tortured and fights her way back for root only to have her die which is kind of handwaved as ‘well she has tm with root’s voice good enough’, and john, after having rediscovered his will to live and have a life in the end of s4 goes right back to his whole dying for someone else thing. only harold gets the happy ending.
the show was actually pretty good at highlighting harold’s flaws and making them interesting, and then it kind of forgot that at the end in terms of story outcome. like, if harold had suffered enough to get a happy ending, then why didn’t anyone else get one? so my annoyance was with the narrative’s failure to satisfactorily conclude the characters’ arcs. (and for the record, i’m not one of the people who think he should have died. i don’t think it would have served a point. also death doesn’t equal redemption to me).
so, yeah, not a fan of him. don’t write him in my fics since my dislike would take time and focus away from writing about the people i do like. would probably be less bitter if they’d ended the show better. i was 300k words fic level of bitter. there was some post i saw going around recently about how if your found family show doesn’t end up with your found family together then you’ve kind of missed the whole point of found family and yeah, that.
90 notes · View notes
giorno-plays-piano · 4 years
Text
Your place Part 2
Tumblr media
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (High School AU)
Warnings: yandere, obsession, bullying, degradation, dubcon.
Words: 1776.
Summary: You suffer in the arms of America’s golden boy, the one who has been bullying you for years.
Part 1
P.S. Some more smut, finally! All characters had reached 18 years of age. Hope you’ll enjoy!
______________
"Are you going to come on Saturday?"
Steve moved his hand down your naked belly, watching you laying close to him on your bed and breathing softly. You glanced back at him, his handsome features illuminated by the dim light coming from the lamp on your nightstand.
"Where to?" You asked as he covered the back of your hand with his palm twice bigger than yours.
"The field house. We have a game."
He traced your knuckles with his fingertips and you thought how odd Steve was. Who could have thought the school's biggest bully was such a cuddle-bug after sex? It wasn't bad, though. You actually liked this side of him.
"Sure."
You weren't interested much in basketball or any other sports, but it was easier to come rather then fight Steve again. He was stubborn like a mule. Besides, a part of you felt like you belong there - many of your classmates were coming to see almost every game.
Why did Steve care whether you were there or not? Surely, he had already been showing you off in front of everyone as much as he could as if you were his trophy - now you sat close to him in class and then in cafeteria during lunch time; he was dragging you with him after classes along with his stupid friends. The whole school knew the nature of your relationship, and the first weeks it was making you bitter and hateful. Steve Rogers head fucking forced himself on you, yet instead of sympathy all you got was an enormous amount of jealousy. You were still receiving hate mailes dropped into your locker. The girls kept whispering curses behind your back as you walked down the corridors with Steve and his pack of wolves. He was able to make everyone silent, though. Now even his friends had no right to bully you like before. He reserved it purely for himself.
"Did you buy yourself a dress?"
"What dress?" You blinked in confusion. "Do I need a dress on Saturday?"
Steve smiled at you and leaned closer, pressing a kiss to your lips.
"No, kitten, I'm talking about the prom."
You rolled your eyes at his words. Of course, Steve Rogers needed to show off everywhere he possibly could - he definitely hoped to become prom king. You, on the contrary, didn't care much. In fact, you didn't want to come there at all. You hardly had any friends at school, and coming to watch Steve flashing his smile and basking in the rays of glory would only make you more irritated with him.
"No, I didn't."
"Then we could go together. I know one nice place."
"Where? 5th Avenue again?"
You smirked, watching the guy frown. Last time you went shopping together was a nightmare for you. You ended up with several bags of expensive lingerie Steve paid for, and you were disgusted at yourself for giving in to him. True, his family was twice wealtier than yours, but it didn't mean you wanted anything from him. Except for leaving you alone, that is.
"And what of it?" Rogers asked you sharply, rising above you. "If I want to buy you a dress, I will."
You sighed, turning your head to Steve and pulling your body closer against his. You learned to enjoy this intimacy with time as he taught you what making love to each other meant. You were pleasantly surprised at his efforts to make you feel good.
"Steve, please. I don't want to think of it now. It's... ruining the mood."
He purred as you caressed his blonde hair and snuggled closer to you, dropping little kisses to your face and touching your cheek affectionately. Steve loved being tender. You believed he had a real physical need to touch you one way or another, often without any sexual subtext at all. It was almost as bad as his need to bully you verbally, especially when he was aroused. You were still learning how to cope with that.
If only he didn't make those photos of you and him in the locker room that time. It was the only reason you obeyed him three months ago when he declared he wanted to keep you close. You didn't know if Steve had stored those pictures somewhere, but you weren't worried about them anymore. His obvious obsession with you would keep him from showing photos of you naked with his cock buried inside your wet cunt to the hilt. You could walk away now, yet everything wasn't as easy as before. Steve made sure to gain trust of your parents, pretending to be the perfect caring boyfriend to you and just a very good guy to everyone else. He also made you meet his parents who turned out to be surprisingly nice, nothing like their son. Steve's mother Sarah took an immediate liking to you and often sent you a huge piece of her famous raspberry pie. It was a highlight of your day when Steve handed it to you during lunch. If you broke up with him now, you were sure he'd make up some story where you were the one to blame, and it would make your life even more miserable.
"Why are we doing this, Steve?" You asked him quietly as he played with a lock of your shiny hair. When be looked back at you, you realized he knew what you were talking about.
"What do you mean?" He grunted in return.
"You know this can't last forever." You said, your voice tired. "There are only a few months left before the graduation."
You were still stroking his hair as he bit down on his plump lower lip, his eyes not leaving your face as he stared down at you from above. There was something unsettling in his gaze, something dark, even scary, but you refused to be afraid of his temper tantrums.
"We're applying to different colleges, and they're not close to each other. How do you think we can keep... this going?"
Steve struggled for words, and you saw he was getting frustrated. It was odd - he liked to use aggression as his shield, rarely showing his vulnerable side to anyone and barking off whatever accusation you threw at him. Yet here you were, looking at the guy who couldn't utter a word to answer a simple question.
Was it despair you saw on his pretty face?
"You can choose the same place, too."
"Are you joking? My family would have so sell our house to pay for my studies then." You let out a sigh.
"You can apply for a grant. With your grades it's not impossible."
"Steve, let's be realistic. You wanna go to Columbia University. Do you have any idea how many people are applying for a grant to study there?" You said and, seeing him getting more agitated, wrapped your hands around his muscular shoulders, reaching out to kiss him again.
He deepened the kiss immediately, swirling his tongue around yours and then licking the insides of your mouth when you mewled softly beneath him. The soft vibration against his lips made Steve shivered from pleasure. He spent a bit more time rolling the tip of his tongue all the way around yours and finally released you, dropping a kiss to your chin.
"If you can't make it, I'm going to apply to the same place as you." He whispered, and you felt his cock gradually getting harder. "I'm sure they'll be happy to take me."
"Steve, you're mad." You shaked your head. "What are your parents going to say? They want the best for y-"
"I don't care what they want, it's up to me to decide." The guy growled and bit your lower lip gently, lowering himself on top of you again. "You're my girl, and my girl is going with me. I still have those photos in case you forgot."
"Ah!"
You squeezed your eyes shut as his fingers touched your overstimulated clit, rubbing it skillfully as you squirmed. Your mouth fell agape as you were left gasping for air, trapped under Steve's athletic figure. Moaning at his touch, you looked at him, feverish, getting aroused again, your hands caressing his back as he smiled at you. He loved when you were a blushing mess beneath him, crying out his name as you were orgasming. No one else got to see you like this.
"I know you were a good girl today, but I want some more. You can handle it, can't you?" The guy cooed in your ear. "Come on, kitten. Show me how you mewl with my cock inside you. You're gonna mewl for me, right? Do it. Now."
You did as he said when his fingers were slowely fucking your sloppy cunt, your core aching for his dick almost painfully. Mewling softly, you kissed him again, and Steve slammed into you, muffling your high-pitched cry with his mouth  as he started rocking his hips. It felt so good, so fucking good. A wail of pleasure ripped from your throat, and Steve grinned at you.
"You're such a good little kitten, Y/N. I think next time we won't go to a restaurant, I'm just gonna give you a cat bowl full of my cum. You're gonna lick it clean, yeah? You're gonna do that for me, dear?"
"Yes, yesss, Steve." You whined as you felt your pussy kissing the base of his cock with a lewd sound. Panting and moving with Steve, you already felt one more orgasm building up, your mouth open and drooling. "I'm a good kitten, I'm a good kitten... pleaseplease Steeeeve..."
He groaned at your words, speeding up gradually and watching your eyes roll to the back of your head: he was rubbing against your g-spot to make your pussy milk his balls dry. Of, he fucking loved seeing that stupid expression on your face when you came, completely helpless, dependent on him to give you pleasure no one else could.
Steve was the one and only who could make you like this. Who the hell cared what his friends or parents said if he could hear you moaning his name beneath him whenever he liked? You were becoming more and more accepting, clinging to him when others were to mock you in public, spreading your legs for him when he cornered you in your or his own room. You grew to enjoy obeying him like a good girl you were, and Steve was going to keep you, finally, after all those long years of waiting.
He would make sure you never left his sight again.
___________
Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki  ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@lovelydarkdaydream
657 notes · View notes
mickmarstookmyheart · 3 years
Text
More Espresso, Less Despresso
Part: 3/?
Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader
Summary: You have a decent conversation with your mom about Mick.
Tumblr media
(pic from Pinterest)
You couldn't recall when was the last time you laughed that much while you were at the studio with the Crüe. Tommy was a total goofball, Nikki was kind yet a bit high, and Vince was like a gay friend you were aching for years. Doc seemed the smartest one among them, of course, beside Mick. After you all ate the food you had brought they started to tell stories of the previous concerts and backstage moments. You had a deja vu but not in a good way. Memories and feelings crossed your mind as the hours passed.
"Are you alright? You look a bit pale." Mick asked with a concerned look in his eyes. You had been quiet in the last ten minutes and he noticed it. At first, he thought it was because of your introverted self, but then he saw the tears in your eyes.
"Yeah, I'm okay." You sighed blinking fast to get rid of the tears. You didn't want to be weak. You wanted to forget that whole era of your life. And now, you were in the same deep pit.
"Hey, (Y/N)!" Vince yelled, putting his feet on the table. "You are coming with us right?" The blood froze in your veins and you even forgot how to breathe properly. You gulped then put a smile on.
"I don't know, Vince. I barely know you and-"
"That's the point! We want to get to know you." You weren't the most spontaneous one. At least, not anymore. Joining a band on tour after one day was quite a big deal. And your mother wouldn't be so happy either. On the other hand, you weren't sure if you wanted to tag along. You had enough.
"Vinnie, you met her hours ago. You couldn't force her to come with us." Nikki said. "Right, (Y/N)?"
"Yeah." You smiled.
"Well, you know where we are going so feel free to come and see us on a show." Vince winked and drank from his beer.
"Just call me and I will give you a pass." Doc added.
"Thanks, guys, really. But I think I gotta go now." You jumped down from the top of the piano and headed to the door.
"Why so soon?" Tommy pouted standing in front of you blocking the way. He didn't help your situation. You felt horrible and just wanted to go home.
"Please, Tommy." You said shyly. But he didn't move just smirked. You knew he just joked but you weren't in the mood.
"Drummer. Let her go." Mick snapped from behind earning a sigh from Tommy. He stepped aside but patted your back.
"See you soon." He grinned and hopped down on the couch next to his Terror Twin. They were so kind, you hated yourself for leaving. However, you know that you wouldn't enjoy yourself. You wouldn't be able to distract yourself from the memories they all brought back.
"Bye, guys!" You waved and left the room with Mick by your side. After he closed the door you let out a long breath you didn't realize you were holding. You didn't say a word until you weren't in the streets again. "I'm sorry." Mick turned to you while walking with raised brows.
"For what?"
"For leaving so early." You shrugged and adjusted your coat tighter. "I didn't feel like a good company."
"Yeah, I saw that something was up. Wanna talk about it?" You shook your head as a no. You weren't ready to talk about that. You didn't want to tell him the reason you moved there with your mom. Why you were the girl reading in a café. The introvert one, the shy one. Why you had to hide behind this disguise.
"Everything is alright, Mick. Nothing serious, I promise." You showed your most believable smile which he loved. He noticed that you were lost in your thoughts and those thoughts made you sad. He saw that something snapped suddenly after Vince asked but he didn't want to ask there. He asked it now but you didn't feel like telling him and he respected that.
"Got it." He stopped and stood in front of you. "But if you are feeling down or wanna talk about anything I'm here, okay?" He rested his hands on your shoulders. "And it's the most obvious thing to talk to each other every night, right?"
"Of course. Though I will miss my caffeine buddy." You sighed.
"Well, if you visit us at one of our concerts I will take you to the finest café nearby and we will drink a huge amount of that!"
"Pinky Promise?" You asked pointing at him.
"Sure, whatever it is." He looked puzzled but chuckled anyways when you intertwined your little finger with his. "Then you have to promise to me that you will come to a concert as soon as possible."
"I promise." You winked and continued walking home.
"Hey, mom!" You yelled as soon as you stepped in the house and hung your coat.
"Hello, honey! I'm in the kitchen!" She shouted back as she was flipping pancakes. You sniffed in the air and hummed from the delicious smell. You stepped next to her and placed a kiss on her cheek making her smile. You loved your mom more than anyone, even yourself. She was there for you when you needed the most, where you needed the most. She always knew how to cheer you up and make you happy. She knew you better than yourself.
"Smells good." You smirked.
"Thanks. So where have you been? How was your day?" She asked glancing at you while placing the pancake on a plate.
"The café." You lied. Well, you didn't lie just didn't tell your whole day. "Read a book, drank a cappuccino as always."
"Sounds interesting. And boring. Why don't you find a book club so you can meet new people?"
"I like being on my own." You said filling your mouth full with pancakes sitting on the counter. You tried to distract the topic but it was hell hard. "And what about you, mom?"
"But it's not healthy being alone all the time." She insisted making you groan and roll your eyes. "Don't grimace, young lady. And yes, you need to find new friends. Who may help you forget the old ones..." She sighed.
"I like the old ones. But you are right. I need to forget them as all those years from that era." You lowered your head staring at your black leather boots. She was right you knew that. And you did find friends just not the right ones. The guys didn't help you forget, on the contrary. "But enough about me. Do you like your new workplace? Is your boss handsome?"
"Hey!" She threw the kitchen towel right on your face from that last statement. "And to answer your question...FUCK YES! He is tall, dark-haired, and has blue eyes..."
"So basically, your type." You giggled watching her faking fainting.
"Girl, you know me so well!" She laughed. "And his voice...I can listen to it for eternity." She sighed hearts all around her head.
"Then, you are in the best position you can ever be. Being his assistant means hearing his thunderous voice. All. Day. Long." You pointed at her with your fork stressing the last words.
"Don't play with me. And? What about you? Don't tell me you haven't met Prince Charming in that café you go to every day." She glanced at you, but you were staring down avoiding eye contact. "So you've already met him, haven't you?" She asked in a low voice.
"You could say that." You jumped down from the counter and headed upstairs but your mother grabbed your wrist before you could reach the stairs. You didn't know if you should tell her or not. You have a deep connection with your mom, you told everything to each other so she would listen to you. However, her reaction would be quite controversial.
"(Y/N). I could see that there is something wrong." She placed her hand on your cheek giving you a warm smile. "Come. Let's eat then you can tell me everything."
"I'm not hungry. I will start now. So there is a guy." You began.
"Let me guess. Black hair, sarcasm, music lover. Am I right?" Your mom interrupted.
"Damn, mom!" You snapped glaring at her.
"Okay, I will shut it. But was I right?"
"Of course, you were, goddamn. He came to me at that café while I was reading and we started to talk. We have many things in common, more than we should, actually. He is kind, generous, and is a great company." Your stomach did a backflip just thinking about it. At the same time, your heart was aching since you knew it won't be the same. It wasn't your café, not your usual coffee, not the squeaking chair you usually sat on and not the old-fashioned table with the blue cloth covering it.
"Sounds good to me." She frowned.
"Promise me you won't freak out." You looked deep in her eyes making sure she understood what you asked. She nodded so you took a deep breath and prepared yourself. "He is a musician, more precisely, he plays in a rock band. And I know what will you say but please let me finish it!"
"Alright." She swallowed and clenched her jaws.
"They are leaving town tomorrow and when they asked me if I would like to join...I said no. Did you hear me? I said no!" You gripped her hand firmly. You didn't like when she was making that face and it broke your heart. She was disappointed, sad, furious at the same time if that was possible. "I won't meet them again if you tell me not to. But please let me meet Mick once more. Just once so I can say goodbye." You sobbed.
"Honey, you don't need permission for that." She gave you a half-smile. "I trust you, I believe that you know what is good for you. And you are an adult now, you can do whatever you like. Things happened in the past, that's why we moved here. To leave those awful and horrible events which occurred there." She gulped and pressed her eyes together trying to erase those memories from her mind. Drugs, booze, rock and roll, death.
"I love you, mom and I'm so grateful. To have such an understanding and strong mom like you." You stood up, walked over to her, and hugged her tightly. She was the strongest person you've ever known. She lost a son, you lost a brother. And still, she managed to put a smile on her face whenever you felt down, desperate. Moved to another city, found a new job, and continued being the coolest mom on Earth.
"Your brother would be so proud." She sighed letting you go. Despite the fact that your brother overdosed, she still talked about him like it hadn't been his fault. She got over it and tried to remember her son as he was before the drugs. Lively, creative, and cheerful.
"So, this means I can visit them? On the tour?" You asked with full of hope.
"If you can take care of yourself and avoid all those things, then, of course, darling. I want you to be happy and somehow that guy makes you that. I can see it in your eyes and the way you talk about him." She smirked.
Days, weeks, months passed. Lonely days, sitting in the café, reading books. Every time the bell rang above the door you glanced up to see who it was. It wasn't him. You have pretty mixed feelings. Although your mother was okay with it, you just couldn't make your finger pushed those buttons on the telephone. Every time you tried, you just put the phone back to its place and continued suffering.
On the other hand, you were afraid. Scared to see them using drugs and killing themselves with it. You wouldn't survive. You have already seen your brother passing out on the couch while injecting heroin in his veins and it was the most horrible thing you've ever gone through. You shook your head to get rid of the memory and kept on reading. Hours went by and you were about to read the last page when a shadow covered all the lights.
"A moment, David. I'm on the last page then you can close the café." You said not leaving the page.
"Hey, (Y/N)." A familiar voice echoed making you drop the book and gulp.
"Mick?!" You literally jumped up from the chair on him. "Wh-what at you doing here?" He hummed feeling your arms around him and the scent of your hair.
"I was missing my soulmate." He smirked not letting you go. "Cause she didn't visit me against the fact she promised me. And it was even a pinky promise! An unbreakable vow, we are talking about." He chuckled making you grin.
"Well, the tour hasn't ended, has it?"
Taglist: @leatherandheels @littlemisscare-all @safari-karrot @crazyrockrlady @savageandnikkiapproved 🖤
75 notes · View notes
realcube · 4 years
Text
What BNHA Heroes have their s/o saved as in their phone
Class 1A x Reader
+ Aizawa and Shinsou
tw// cussing, cringe smh, lots of love <3 
Tumblr media
Class 1A
Yuga Aoyama 
he has you saved as ‘my ✨star✨’
and honestly you love it because he calls you that in real life too 
Mina Ashido 
she has you saved as ‘bubs 💞💓💖💝💘💕’
 the only reason there isn’t more hearts was because of the limit smh
she changes it every few weeks to a new pet name though
also she calls you that irl sometimes
Tsuyu Asui
she has you saved as ‘my flower 🌺’
honestly, the only reason she put you as that rather than your name because of your intense love for flora
every date you take Tsuyu on is always to somewhere with beautiful scenery and an abundance of flowers
Tenya Iida 
he has you saved as ‘beef stew’
he originally had you saved as ‘(Y/N) (L/N)’ 
but you showed him that you had him saved as ‘Honey’ so he wanted to save you under a pet name too
however, he couldn’t really think of one so he asked for you assistance and you told him that most cute pet names come from food
“So, what food do I remind you of, Iida?” 
“Beef stew.” 
Needless to say you both were laughing your asses off for a while after that 
but it’s still cute because beef stew is his favourite food just like you are his favourite person
Ochako Uraraka
she has you saved as ‘(L/N) <3 ’
she wanted to use a heart emoticon but her flip-phone doesn’t let her smh
Also she doesn’t have a pet name for you yet but she is working on it 
like she tried calling you ‘baby girl’ but then you explained to her the sexual undertones to that name so she stopped and she’s been too embarrassed since then to try again 
Mashirao Ojiro
he has you saved as ‘tail boy’s s/o 🤪’
y’all had a whole-ass discussion about this one time lmao
y’all were brainstorming ideas for what you should save each other as in your phones
you didn’t want to have something basic like ‘babe’ or ‘my heart🥰’ but rather something funny and you suggested (jokingly) to save his contact as ‘tail boy’
and rather than being offended like you thought he’d be, you both ended up laughing your asses of together for a solid 5 minutes (at least)
so you saved his contact as that and since he couldn’t come up with a funny nickname in relation to your quirk, he just saved you as ‘tail boy’s s/o🤪’
 Denki Kaminari 
he has you saved as ‘ASH CECHUM 😩😳💦🌚💓🧀'
plz don’t ask about the emojis idek
anyway, he saw that you saved him as ‘Pikachu <3′ which makes sense considering his quirk..
so he took it upon himself to save your contact as - in his own words - “That guy who owns the Pikachu from Pokémon’ 
however, despite the fact he has watched Pokémon before, he had no idea how to spell Ash’s second name and apparently the thought never came him that; ‘hey, maybe I should google it.’
so he just sounded it out 
as for the all caps, contrary to popular belief , he does know how to turn it off
he just chooses not to for the aesthetic and also it takes a lot of effort 
that is why he doesn’t use proper punctuation either 
Eijiro Kirishima
he has you saved as ‘love bug’
honestly, you’re not too sure of when or why he changed your contact name after y’all started dating but..
you thought it was cute but..a bit cringe
obviously you didn’t say anything about it though, you weren’t trying to be mean to your boyfriend for no reason
it’s not like he called you that irl
however, he’d be out of his mind if he thought you were gonna save him as something like that 
the best he’ll get from you is ‘Kiri babe 🤘' (get it? bc...rock!)
Kouji Koda 
he has you saved as ‘love bug’
ASKJFCWB YOU THINK IT IS OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD ADORABLE OML
like it makes sense because he like talks to insects and stuff and you’re his lil love bug cause you are his lover and stuff hhhhh
also because of the size difference between you and him, i mean, you are basically the size of an insect compared to him 
in short, Koda supremacy  🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️
Rikidou Satou
he has you saved as ‘sugar pie’ 
honestly, poor man
he was completely clueless when you asked him to save you as something cute 
like, he know what you meant...but he had no idea what to go for 
so you chose for him 👍
and you made a pretty good decision tbh I mean, it’s cute! it relates to his quirk and all
and he has started to call you that irl sometimes and it always makes your heart go brrrrrrr
Mezou Shouji 
he has you saved as ‘hunk’ 
ok, i know i said Satou was a poor man but let me just say
THIS POOR MAN 
you told him it’d be cute if you both saved each other as cute pet names in your phones and dead ass him response ‘you’re not my pet though..’
AAAAAAAAAAA
so after a lot of explaining, as an example you whipped out your own phone and showed him how you had saved him as ‘hunk’ 
...he really went and just copied you
you thought that was so funny and precious though so you didn’t ask him to change it
Kyouka Jirou 
she has you saved as ‘my melody 🎶’
ok, so it started when she noticed that you use the same pen everyday - a My Melody one
she thought that was so fucking adorable and she kinda started teasing you for it; not that you minded though
she also thought it was so cute when you’d get all flustered 
so one day she just decided to change your contact name to that 
it also kinda tied in with her love for music (but mostly her love for you uwu)
Hanta Sero
he has you saved as ‘my honey nutter butter biscuit’
after Kirishima called his s/o ‘love bug’ infront of y’all that one time, you both spent the next hour taking the piss and laughing at how over-the-top couple nicknames are sometimes 
so just #for the meme he saved your contact as a hyperbole of what those cringe couple pet names are like
oh and you have him saved as ‘My beloved sweet peach taco’
Fumikage Tokoyami
he has you saved as ‘Helena’
yeah, he wanted to be edgy and save your contact after a MCR song
(no, he does not know that Helena is about Gerard’s grandmother but don’t you dare tell him)
Shoto Todoroki
he has you saved as ‘(Y/N) (L/N) 💖’
you texted him something during lunch one time to see his reaction while you were sitting next to him but then you noticed that your name in his phone was simply ‘(Y/N) (L/N)’
you mentioned it briefly but you didn’t make a fuss out of it because it really wasn’t a big deal
however, he asked to see what his name in your phone was and you showed him
you had saved him as ‘Babey ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’
he went home and did some research on some good pet names to save you as in his phone
after that, his search history kinda looked like;
‘pet names’
‘pet names for humans’
‘pet names for lovers’
‘cute nicknames for my girlfriend’
‘cute emoticons’
he deadass came in the next day and the first thing he did was pull out his phone and show you the emoji he put next to your name
“Look, (L/N). I found this emoticon and put it next to your contact name in my phone.”
yes, he sound like boomer..obvs
he spends 90% of his free time training rather than on his phone 
and the time that he is on his phone, he isn’t using emojis, he is searching shit like 
‘how to hack into a credit card without the PIN’
Tooru Hagakure
she saves you as ‘❤😘’
no, she doesn’t need to save you as your name to remember who you are 
she’s not a peasant
Katsuki Bakugo
he has you saved as ‘pretty stupid face’
originally it was just ‘stupid face’
but you noticed it and just dropped a subtle comment like “hey, that’s mean.”
so he came in the next day with ‘pretty’ added to the start
“i am genuinely too nice to you sometimes.” he’d say
“THE STUPID FACE PART IS STILL THERE”
“I KNOW BUT I ADDED PRETTY TO THE START!!”
“Wow, tch, such I gentleman-”
“I know-HEY WAIT WAS THAT SARCASM?!”
Izuku Midoriya 
he has you saved as ‘sweetest love muffin’
you that one couple i mentioned in Sero’s headcanons?
yeah, that’s y’all
you are both literally that couple
“No, you hang up.”
“No, you hang up!”
“Nooo, cause I’ll miss you”
“I’ll miss you moreeee”
he literally threw a bunch of his favourite adjectives into a pet name lol
also your contact name for him is something on a similar wavelength
Minoru Mineta
I know most y’all would’ve even give him your number lol
but for those who would 🤮
he has you saved as ‘sweet cheeks’ or sumn 
Momo Yaoyorozu
she has you saved as ‘My McMuffin’
HOL UP LET ME EXPLAIN
ok so she let you take her to McDonald’s cause you wanted to see her reaction since she is used to gourmet cuisine or whatever
so it was sure to be entertaining 
and it was 
but not in a good way
she was almost sick after she had a bite of a big mac and then she tried to wash it down with the Sprite but then she fainted for like a solid 10 seconds
once she came back, she obviously wanted to leave..so you did 
A year later, y’all are in the town and both of you are starving 
But Momo realised that she didn’t have her card on her or any money but that was fine because at least you had your debit card on you 
You had enough money on it for a taxi back to Momos place and a McMuffin each
Obviously she didn’t want one but when you started eating in front of her, of course she wanted a taste
and so it was love at first bite
she loved it so much so of course you bought another one for her and she consumed it in a millisecond (not literally)
so now she has your contact saved as the one thing competing against you for her love - a McMuffin
Shota Aizawa
unfortunately he does not have your contact saved as ‘kitten’
instead, in his phone you are saved as ‘The One  💙’
simple, yet it effectively shows his admiration - just the way he likes it
 and he only added the emoji to make your name stand out more so he could easily tell whether he was gonna ignore the following message or not
because if Mike is texting him telling his that he needs the extremely important documents that Aizawa keeps in his coded filing cabinet, Shota will be like -.-
but if you text him asking for him to pick up chocolate on his way home, he’ll be like 🏃‍♂️
Hitoshi Shinso 
he has you saved as ‘big daddy’
plz don’t ask 
it’s an inside joke between you and him
okay well, if you must know 
y’all were trying to come up with the most absurd nicknames for each other that kinda sound legit 
some other gems 
‘Muscleman’
‘Big scary snookums’
‘sexy giant’
163 notes · View notes
lombredanslaeu · 4 years
Text
𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒑 𝒅𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒔 | jung jaehyun.
plot: the story of jung jaehyun and the implications of his relationship with the ceo’s daughter - all the saccharine, the bitter, and the sour. word count 7405
genre: angst, fluff
warnings: curse words 
playlist: the louvre lorde | hard feelings lorde | the girl city & colour | i dont wanna be okay without you charlie bug
this isn’t proofread, so i apologize for any mistakes. feedback is highly appreciated, it motivates me to write more. <3
Tumblr media
“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are: “It might have been.” - Kurt Vonnegut
I.
Contrary to the public belief, the daughter of one of the biggest entertainment companies in the country isn’t as snippy and snobby as the world pictures her to be. Growing up, you never failed to respect everyone, regardless of their social status. That’s why the world seemed to be in shock when a photo of you, Doyoung, and Johnny spread like wildfire all over social networking sites.
“Why are people so in shock about me being friends with you guys?” You inquired, shoving a spoon of cheesecake to your mouth.
“They’re probably wondering why the hell you’re friends with losers like us.” Johnny replied.
“Oh yeah, that’s probably it.” You agreed. Johnny faked a hurting face, causing everyone in the room to burst into small laughters and smiles.
A swing of the dorm’s door revealed three more of the boys. Mark Lee, Kim Jungwoo, and Jung Jaehyun. How do you begin with Jung Jaehyun?
Everyone fawned over the boy. Who wouldn’t? With a cherub face and charming smile, anyone would fall head over heels over Jaehyun. You blamed his looks, you blamed his voice, and you blamed Doyoung for pointing everything Jaehyun did excellently. You blamed everything else but yourself for having a stupid crush on the boy.
“Oh, I bought you guys cheesecake.” You smiled at the newcomers.
“You’re heaven-sent, Y/N!” Jungwoo exclaimed.
“Thanks, Y/N.” Jaehyun said, with that godly smile that he always wore. You smiled off the racing beats of your heart, concious that Doyoung or Johnny might notice your sudden tension.
Unbeknowsnt to you, one of them already knows. And he has a plan to accomplish.
The warm sun was normally a pleasant thing for you. However, your lack of sleep and rest the previous night was overtaking your personality today. The busy chatters of the students that walk through the premises of Seoul National University fileld your ears. It was a normal day - lectures, presentations, and countless pages to read. You’re already on your third year of college, you should have been used to this by now. Another misconception about you is that you don’t have a personal driver to drive you to and from places; heck, you don’t even own your own car yet. You don’t do it very often but you bratty side is cursing your parents for trying to make you live independently. You made a mental note to complain to them later that night.
A resounding beep from your phone made you halt your walk.
Jung Jaehyun (SM): Hey! Are you around SNU right now?
That’s weird. You thought. It was actually more new than weird. Sure, you and Jaehyun are friends but you don’t think you’ve already reached the level of texting each other all of a sudden.
You: Yeah! Do you need anything?
Jung Jaehyun: I’m actually quite lost.
Jung Jaehyun: Doyoung told me to buy something from this home depot around SNU.
Jung Jaehyun: Do you know where Rosé Palace is?
You chuckled at his sentiment. Your palms sweat by the fact that you just might see him today. You didn’t look your best at this very moment, you didn’t feel the need to fix yourself since your main plan for today was just go to school.
You: I know where that is. Where are you right now?
Jung Jaehyun: I’m here near the musuem.
After a few walks and turns, you found the poor man. He wore all black clothing, with a mask and a bucket hat probably to hide his identity.
“Hey, I’m sorry for being a bother.” He apologized.
“Oh, no! It’s okay! I was done with school anyway.” You quickly respond. “Rosé Palace is actually very near here.”
“Oh, is it?” Jaehyun spoke. “I’m sorry, I really should have just tried finding it instead of bothering you.”
“Stop, it’s really not a problem.” You assured him.
You expected the walk to the location to be awkward. After all, you and Jaehyun doesn’t talk much. He would only ever talk to you whenever someone is also in the conversation.
“Do you live around SNU?” Jaehyun asked.
“Nope,” You answered. “I live at my parent’s home. I don’t dorm here.”
“Really? Do you commute?”
“I actually do.”
“You’re not scared?”
“Not a lot of people know who I am, Jaehyun. They just see me as another tired, college girl.”
“Must be nice not having people know who you are.” His tone seemed down and almost envious.
“Hey, you should be happy people know your name.” You said. “I could probably die right now and no one would bat an eye until they find out I’m a daughter of a CEO.”
“That’s not true!” He spoke. “I’d bat an eye!”
You laughed at him. “Of course, you would.”
Jaehyun emitted a soft chuckle. You were definitely not someone he would casually walk around with. He didn’t think he was worthy of your time, anyway. But then again, you’re friends with every single of the members so you’re probably very nice. And right now, he proved that hypothesis correct. He silently thanked Doyoung for asking him to buy those set of plates for his mother’s birthday.
The next time you and Jaehyun hung out was during one of the company gatherings. According to Taeyong, “you spent so much time with Jaehyun that Doyoung and Johnny got jealous.” You never realized that yourself. One topic in a conversation led to another and before you know it, the gathering is about to end and you still haven’t spared any of the members a glance.
“Is your dad okay with you being so close with Jaehyun?” Doyoung asked.
“Why would he not be okay with that?” You answered his question with another question. “He seems to be okay with me being close friends with all of you.”
“Hmm, yeah,” Johnny trailed. “Sure, that’s the situation here.”
You only looked at him with confusion drawn all over your face.
“Do I sense some sarcasm on your tone?”
“What? Sarcasm? Fuck no!”
 II.
It was during their live online concert that Jaehyun realized. In front of them are hundred of pixelated screens, some more distorted than the others. And yet, he still saw you, he still recognized you with a blink of an eye. You’re in a small screen almost at the edge. The other members didn’t notice you, they probably didn’t even know you were attending. He saw you, amongst the landscape of faces, he saw you. That’s when he realized. Jaehyun swallowed a small smile, fearing that Yuta, who’s arm is draped over Jaehyun’s shoulder, would sense something.
This isn’t the first time he realized that he was in love you. It was probably when he kissed you for the first time and the next time, and the next time.
“You love kissing me, don’t you?” You whispered against his lips.
The two of you did not even make it to bed when you decided to lock your lips together for the nth time that night.
“I do.” He replied. “How about you?”
“I love everything that you do to me.”
The night grew feverish. The two of you still hasn’t talked about the current status of whatever relationship you both have. You act like lovers but never brought it upon yourselves to admit that you’re smitten. Maybe Jaehyun felt embarrassed that he was the first to fall in love you. He probably will never admit that soon. The fear of nothing having his feelings reciprocated was bubbling inside him. However, the answers are right in front of his eyes. You have an exam tomorrow but instead of buring your eyebrows to study, you’re here between his arms, making out with him.
He didn’t know if it was love. He doesn’t like anything else about you except for your smile, your eyes, your angelic laughter, and the way he feels whenever you’re around. He feels at peace, he feels as if his feet are in the clouds. They could disperse any moment, causing him plummet to the ground. But he has no intention of going elsewhere. If falling to rock bottom would be caused by you, he would be more than willing to experience that.
Oh yeah, I’m in love. The only thought that lingered on his mind until he saw you in person again.
“Nice job tonight, Jae.” Your honey voice immersed from the speakers of Jaehyun’s phone.
“You actually watched.”
“Of course, I would. How could I miss that?” You chuckled, awakening the annoying butterflies inside Jaehyun’s veins.
A muffled clinking of glass could be heard through Jaehyun’s end. “Are you guys drinking?”
“Perhaps?” Jaehyun smiled through his response. Johnny and Taeyong’s loud bickering confirmed your suspicion.
“Celebrating the concert?”
“We’re not drinking.”
“Okay, I believe you.” It was your turn to smile at his silliness.
There was a brief moment of silence between you two. You could hear the faint breathing of Jaehyun and for a minute, you might have believed he fell asleep on you. A soft giggle proved you wrong. Just the mere fact of having you on the other side of the line was enough to make Jaehyun turn soft.
There was a loud argument inside his head. His job is unforgiving especially in terms of forming a romantic relationship with someone. If making friendships with others idols would be a walk on broken glass, what more could a romantic relationship be? The fact that you’re also the daughter of his boss didn’t help with his dilemma at all. It could either break his career or your relationship with your father. Jaehyun isn’t afraid of taking risk, yet somehow, he was scared of making another step towards you. When he realized that he was helplessly in love with you, he became scared of ever seeing you again. But despite it all, he still managed to say the worst thing he could have told you that night: “I’m in love with you.”
 III.
You had every chance to realize. Each time he would stretch his schedule to make a spot for you, even every time he would spam your messages just to ask if you’ve made it home safely. You were not new to dating bans being imposed of idols. Although your father never directly imposed such thing to his recent employees, you knew full well not to meddle with the busy and demanding life of an idol. So, Jaehyun was a problem.
Another one of your problems was when Jaehyun kissed you for the first time the other night. You didn’t know what lead him to do such thing and to be frank, Jaehyun didn’t know what came to him either.
Normally, the secluded and narrow walkway you and Jaehyun are currently walking on would send chills through your spine. The comforting feeling of having someone beside you, and thankfully it’s Jung Jaehyun, made you feel safe despite the thrilling nature of the walkway. The tiring activities of moving in your stuff to your new apartment lingered through your bones.
“Do you always come walk here after school?” He asked, his breath forming smoke in the cold air.
“I do,” You answered. Jaehyun spun his head towards with a face full of worry. “I never leave school very late anyway. In daylight, this place is filled with people so it’s not that scary.”
Your information made Jaehyun release a sigh of relief. Good to know that he won’t need to worry as much about you walking this scary place at this time of the night.
“Thanks for helping me move my stuff to my apartment.” You spoke.
“It’s my pleasure to help you in all kinds of things.”
Heat formed in your cheeks. If you’re not wearing a thick scarf around your neck, you’re sure Jaehyun would notice the small smile you have.
“Hey,” His gloved hand touched your forearm briefly to call your attention. “It still wonders me how we never hung out before.”
“We just never had the chance I guess?” You shrugged.
Before you was a beautiful piece of art. You wondered how someone so charming and handsome could even exist. Not a single flaw was present in Jaehyun’s appearance, meanwhile you could list ten things you wish you could change about the way you look in an instant. You didn’t feel worthy of his attention. You spent a good 30 seconds just staring at him and he did the same.
“Can I do something?” Jaehyun asked, swallowing a lump in his throat.
“Sure.”
Jaehyun leaned down to meet your face. Placing a hand behind your neck, his lips joined yours. Oh my god, Jung Jaehyun is kissing me!
It took a second or two for you to reciprocate the kiss. His lips felt cold but what made you shiver was the booming feeling in your chest. The kiss wasn’t lustful, it was a steady and endearing kiss. He pulled away after a moment. In his face was the cute smile and a set of dimples.
“I want to hang out with you for the rest of my life.” He said.
“I want to hang out with you too, for as long as you want me to be.”
It also didn’t help that you’ve only came to terms with your feelings just recently. Behind your laptop was a pile of readings waiting to be read. University was your top priority yet, here you are. Looking immensely through your laptop screen with the whole universe in your eyes. That was when you realized. You were willing to put Jaehyun above anything else in your life.
You and Jaehyun was undeniably spending a lot of time with each other. It surprised you that no fans or news outlet has caught you and Jaehyun strolling around the city. You enjoyed being outside, you loved the city and everything that came with it. Jaehyun knew full well not to spend so much time outside with his manager. But, he could never say no to your requests. He don’t why either. Whenever he risked getting caught just to spend time with you, the universe has given multiple chances to realize how you felt about him. Unfortunately, oblivion has spread all over your system like a poison. It was only until tonight that you finally got the taste of the antidote.
You knew the consequences, you knew the implications. He was drunk and you knew full well that there’s a chance he might not meant what he said.
“I’m in love with you as well, Jae.”
 IV.
The gloomy atmosphere of the skies mimicked how you felt that day. Your eyes lingered on your phone screen, it has been that way for about 30 minutes now.
Dad: No one can know about you and Jaehyun. Not even the members.
You were doubting the relationship yourself. Was this a good decision? Jaehyun never made your relationship feel like a mistake. Yet, here you are, thinking that what if being with Jaehyun was nothing but a mistake. You never meant for your parents to find out. However, it would dumb of you to think that you could keep this from them forever, or at least until Jaehyun retires.
“I expected you to know how complicated dating is in the industry.” Your father’s voice wasn’t loud but it was chilling and stern.
“Of course, I know that-” You started.
“Then, why did I wake up this morning bombarded with the news that you and Jaehyun are dating?”
You couldn’t answer him. You knew from the start the complications of your relationship with Jaehyun. There was fear and anxiety bubbling in your heart; and beneath it all, there was a small tinge of regret. That growing seed of regret was something you decided to shrug off. You would never admit to anyone that you felt that way.
“Jaehyun is one of my most popular idol.” Your father spoke again. “If the fans repulse him, my stocks could be damaged.”
You kept your head low. “I understand.”
“I’m not asking you to break up with him.” He announced, causing to look up at him. “But if I receive a news article about the two of you, you know what to expect.”
The leaves grew heavy as the raindrops drenched them. Suddenly, a warm pair of arms snuggled you close to their person.
“I don’t want to leave you while you’re this upset.” Jaehyun whispered.
“Don’t worry about me, babe.” You said. “I’ll be fine soon.”
You heard him drop a heavy sigh. Jaehyun was struggling as well. The last thing you want to do was to bring more stress on him.
“I want to go to Paris too.” You suddenly spoke.
“It baffles me how someone from a rich family as you has never been to Paris.” He said, rubbing comforting circles on your exposed arms.
“My family doesn’t like going out of the country.”
“I wish I could take you to Paris with me.”
“No.” You sat up a little. “This is your time to have fun with your fans and the guys. I know my parents has been really stressful for the both of us.”
“I don’t care about the world as long as you’re with me, Y/N.”
You stared at him for a moment. Before you know it, your lips were entangled with his. The sweet taste of Jaehyun and the bitter reality of your family made you press into him a little harder. Jaehyun wrapped his arms tightly around you as he savored every flavor of you that he could taste right now.
Under his heavy breathing, he spoke, “Promise me something?”
“What?”
“Be with me always, Y/N.” He said, with every bit of love and pleading that he could ever give. Tears were starting to burn in your eyes. You weren’t planning to spend this day with him crying.
“I promise, Jaehyun.” You responded, offering every ounce of sincerity you have in you. “Can you promise me that as well?”
“I could only show you once we get there, Y/N.” He replied. “Even if we won’t be together tomorrow, go to Paris ten years from now and see for yourself if I uphold my side of the promise.”
 V.
Many people have told you that love isn’t always pink skies and candy hearts. But, it sure as hell not sitting behind a computer screen, watching your boyfriend flirt with other idols. You sighed and close your eyes.
It’s okay, Y/N. He’s just putting up the facade that he’s single and ready to mingle. You’ve been dating him for almost two years now, get used to it.
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe he’s just dating you to secure a place in the group?” Areum said. Areum is one of your closest college friends, the only person you shared your secret with. She was trustworthy, you’re willing to testify with that. However, came with her loyal and reliable aspect was the fact that she’s so fucking straightforward. She just have the ability to sense bullshit from anyone and she’s not afraid on waking people up.
You scoff. Half you wants her to be wrong and the other believed her.
“No, he’s not.” You said. “Why would you even think that?”
“I just got the vibe.” She shrugged her shoulders. “You don’t have to fully believe what I say, Y/N.”
“Damn, if you don’t like him for me, you could have just told me directly.”
“It’s not that I don’t like him for you, Y/N.” Areum’s tone was more serious now. “I care for you. I know that people can manipulate you in every way that they can to get on your good side.”
“Stop accusing Jaehyun of such things.”
It was safe to say that you’ve gone cold to Areum after that conversation. You hated that she might be right but you’re too full of pride to even admit that. But you know Jaehyun better than Areum knows him.
You tried. You tried to forget what Areum said. But the thought still lingers inside your head and now everything that Jaehyun did made you wonder if he’s doing it to stay secured in the company. You don’t have the power that your father has but he’s dating his boss’ daughter and you have a great influence on your dad’s decisions.
“You should have called me to let me know you were working late.” You said, frustration clear in your voice. It’s already an hour before midnight and you have not heard from Jaehyun until the moment he knocked on your apartment door. Ever since you moved in two years ago, Jaehyun has been spending a lot of nights there; he unofficialy lives there. His managers would have been pissed off by now but then, again, you are their boss’ daughter.
“The comeback is almost near.” He said, replicating your frustration. “You should have known that work will be tight now.”
“You could have sent me a simple text so I don’t have to worry where you are.”
“You don’t have to worry where I am, Y/N.” His tone was grim. “Do you really expect me to send you a text while I’m busy? I could have finish so much during the time I’m texting you.”
You took a sharp and deep breath. The anger and hurt were like tornados revolving deep inside you. It was normal for couples to fight but the frustration seems to build up one fight after another. Some days, you just wanted to fight with him. You don’t know what’s the reason or excuse for your sudden urge to form an argument with Jaehyun.
“I asked you to start the kettle for me.” He said. Now, his eyebrows were furrowed in clear frustration and his lips rid of their usual sweetness. His hand holding up the cold kettle.
“I’m sorry, I must have forgotten.” You said, your voice was low but it didn’t sound weak.
“I asked you to do one little thing for me, Y/N.” The loud bang of the kettle hitting the stove made you jump. Your heart raced at the sudden noise but it didn’t diminish your anger.
“And I asked you to do one little thing for me as well.” You fight back.
“Asking me to update you all the time is not a little thing.”
“All I’m asking is for you to take maybe a minute to text me where you are!” You roared. “I’ve been worried sick about where you are!”
“You know I’m just in the building, right?” He retorted. “Why? Do you expect me to be elsewhere?”
“Are you implying that I think you’re cheating?” You said, with a small laugh.
“Why else would you be so worried about where I am when you fully know I’m working?” He kept answering you with a question and it was getting tiring.
“I never said anything about you being unfaithful.” You stated. “Why are you getting so defensive all of a sudden? Is there a reason for me to be thinking that?”
“You’re unbelievable, Y/N. Out of all the things I’ve risked for you.” Jaehyun shook his head. “You’re unbelievable and ungrateful.”
The words stung. It was like Cupid shot a salty arrow towards the wound in your chest. He think you’re ungrateful. For a moment, you blamed yourself. Maybe, I am ungrateful and unreasonable. And before you could think about what to say, you said the words you were going to regret for the rest of your life.
“You know, I think you’re only dating me to keep a place in the company.”
You had to reason to say that. It was a sudden burst of the moment and you immediately regret it. Jaehyun gave you no reason to even think that. Your insecurity and fear got in you and you were on the brink of ruining everything. How did it come to this? You were about to retract your statement when Jaehyun turned his back against you for the first time in his life.
 VI.
A penthouse was definitely too much for you. You never called it a penthouse though, you’ve always called it your apartment. It was great, finally moving out of your parents’ house even if it’s literally just ten minutes away. Everywhere you look, it reminds you of Jaehyun. He helped you move in everything and helped you settle in. The first few nights when you couldn’t sleep because everything was new and overwhelming, he was there to sing you your favorite The Smiths song. He didn’t know the lyrics at first so he just hummed the tune. He was sure he was doing it out of tune but he tried for you. The penthouse was big yet it was suffocating; but Jaehyun was there. It felt safe, it felt like home. You could sleep on the streets and you would still feel at peace as long as he’s there beside you.
Jaehyun couldn’t sleep either. You hurt him but he wasn’t going to deny that he hurt you too. And that’s the last thing he wants to do to you. Why did he turn his back when he knows that you’re just tired and worried? But why did you doubt him when you know he’s only doing his job as an idol? Jaehyun’s eyes immediately landed on the peach plush toy that you gave him for no reason, and then to the Franklin Wilson vinyl record that you spent so much money on. Most of the gifts you gave him, you gave him for no reason - not on an anniversary or on his birthday. You would just randomly give him something sometimes. Above all, you gave him immense love. You could date anyone you want, someone who is of great power and wealth. Yet, you decided to love him. When he’s with you, he’s devoid of all the consequences of the world. He forgot what aching felt like to the point that he forgot that the word exists. 
But right now, it all aches.
“I said I’m sorry, Jaehyun.” Your voice was paired with the painful tears that streamed your voice.
“Come on, Y/N, stop crying.” He pleaded, his own tears falling from his eyes. You crying pained Jaehyun so much, the fact that he was the reason behind it didn’t help either. All he wanted to do right now was to hug you, console you that he’s sorry and he didn’t meant it when he said he wanted to break up.
“I want someone who would never doubt my intentions of loving them.” He said through his tears. “I thought you were that someone.”
“Is there anything I could do to change your mind?”
Jaehyun shook his head, each turn tearing your heart apart. You blamed no one but yourself. If only you didn’t say those words. You wanted to beg but your sobs were choking your words, as if it knows better than to say something in fear that you’ll fuck everything up again.
Jaehyun didn’t care about what vengeance you would do. He knows you so well and he knew you wouldn’t do that to him. But, in a way, he wanted you to do to that to him. He wanted you to tell your father to fire him, kick him out of the company. He wanted that so that he can know you can feel better after having your heart broken by him. He wanted that so that he can be assured that you can finally be at peace. Yet, he knew you very well. What bothered him the most was what you’ll do to yourself. Will you drown yourself in tears and neglect your health & well-being? Will you start flunking in university? It worried him and he hated the fact that he needed to end the greatest thing in his life to avoid hurting you in the future.
Areum was quick on her feet to rush to your apartment after hearing the news.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.” She quickly said.
You only hugged her. Letting your tears and sobs fall all over again.
“I’m sorry I even said those things about him.” She said. A part of you wanted to blame her but you saw the bigger picture. You chose to let those words stick to you and ended up hurting Jaehyun. And Jaehyun has better things to do than to be kept down by a relationship. You knew he was begging to be freed without him realizing that.
 VII.
The first time you saw Jaehyun was five months after your break up. Their recent comeback was a success and due to that, the company held a mini party to celebrate the boys’ hardwork. You shouldn’t have come but the pleading eyes of Doyoung and Johnny gave you no choice. They promised to keep you away from Jaehyun throughout the whole night. You doubted the plan first hand since you know Johnny and Jaehyun are drinking buddies. When there is alchohol, you best believe the two would be inseperable through the night.
Due to Mark Lee’s request, a karaoke console was present in the party. Taeil and Haechan were quick to have a duet before anyone else. They wanted to “bless the night with their voice.” You chuckled at their crazy antics. You definitely missed everyone. Ever since the break up, you focused more on your studies and in a few weeks, you’re off to graduate. The boys never failed to communicate with you through messages and video calls, but you never saw them as often as you used to do.
“Okay, everyone!” Mark screamed through the mic of the karaoke machine. “It’s my time to shine!”
You settled in a spot beside Jungwoo who offered you another cup of beer. The soft, mellow tune of the song began along with the title on the screen: “Leaves” by Ben & Ben. You heard Mark play this song in one of the lives he bugged you to watch in support. You never heard the first song and you didn’t really hear the song clearly in his live. But judging by the instrumentals, you conluded that it might be sad.
“And in the end, can you tell me if it was worth the try so I can decide,” Mark sang. His voice was heavenly but his tipsy nature made it funny.
You knew you weren’t supposed to be in this party. You already regret so many things in your life and now you’re adding this party to that list.
“Oh, you never really love someone until, you learn to forgive.”
Has Jaehyun forgiven you? The question suddenly came up as Mark sang that line. You felt like you don’t have the right to say that you’ve forgiven him. What did he do to you that would require forgiveness? Nothing. He needed to break away and that’s not a sin to anyone. You wondered if he has forgiven you - for doubting him and for making him feel like his love wasn’t enough. You wanted to punch yourself as you swallow the beer in hopes that it will kill the heartache.
Has she forgiven me? That question floats in Jaehyun’s mind even before the party. A love like yours was not something that is easy to forget. Jaehyun doesn’t think he could ever forget you or what your love felt like. It made his heels touch the sky and his fingertips reach the stars. He doesn’t know if you have forgiven him, for breaking your heart and for not giving it another try. Perhaps, he will never know the answer until the day he die.
The song has reached it’s climax. A series of “All will be alright in time” sung by Mark filled the ears of the listeners as the crowd grew silent, savoring the song. A voice inside of you asked you look at Jaehyun for the first time tonight. It’s been five months and being without him is enough punishment for you. You were going to give yourself the pleasure of looking at his face once again. He was five people away but, thankfully, you can still see him clearly. His head swayed lightly to the song before turning his head towards yours - not because your gaze burns but because he wanted to see your face again.
“Oh, you never really love someone until, you learn to forgive.”
The ending instrumentals played right after. As if living through the song, you offered him a small smile. Without thinking twice, he did the same.
That’s the answer to both of your questions.
The balcony of their dorms gave you a full view of the sleeping city. The faint sound of “Psycho” by Red Velvet crept it’s way from the dorm to the balcony. The sound became clear for a moment, an indication that someone opened the balcony door and closed it.
Jaehyun stood beside you, savoring the cold, night wind. You were both quiet.
“Can I hold you?” He suddenly asked.
You turned to him with confusion. You didn’t know why he would ask you that all of a sudden.
“Please?” He begged. “Before we admit that it’s done?”
Before you know it, your arms are wrapped around his torso for the last time.
 VIII.
The busy streets of the city became a lullaby to you. After graduating from college, you interned in one of the top architectural firms in the country. You gained your architecture license after two years but you never left the firm. Unlike your father, you’re not really the leader or boss type. You enjoyed working for and with others. The company felt like a small family. It was very exclusive so they don’t really have a lot of core members; to be amongst them was a privilege in itself. The senior architect, Nayeon, was busy today so she sent you to present the design you both proposed for one of your clients. You never met the client personally or even knew their names as this was your first initial meeting.
The sweet smell of croissants filled your nostrils as you entered the meeting place. The client requested to hold the meeting in a luxurious cafe just a few minutes away from your office. This client must be really rich to waste time on a meeting in a cafe like this. The wide array of the pastries brought back your childhood memories as your mother would bring you home croissants from this place before.
Along with your childhood memories, a familiar yet dear face looked up from their seat. It was no one else but Jung Jaehyun, still beautiful even after all these years.
Oh, isn’t life just really tender on me?
“Hey,” You greeted.
“Hey,” he replied.
There was awkwardness, of course. But you needed to be professional, after all it’s been eight years.
“Im Nayeon couldn’t make it today so I’m here on her behalf.” You stated. “Hope that’s okay for you?”
“Of course,” Jaehyun replied. Standing up to offer you a seat. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
You cleared your throat. You wanted to get out of there quickly so you immediately brought out the papers.
“Do you want something to drink?” He asked.
“No, thank you.” You declined with a smile.
Jaehyun felt foreign. It seems like he doesn’t know who you are anymore. Well, after all, it has been eight years. You’ve grown into someone he’s unfamiliar with.
As you present your plans, Jaehyun couldn’t help but drift in his own thoughts. He wondered about what might have been. If things didn’t end up the way that they did, where would the both of you be right now? He wanted to marry you. He would look at you every night and think to himself that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Feelings change and so does what people think about others but he still wondered what would have been if he didn’t give up so easily.
But maybe, if the both of you held on that night, it could lead to even more damaging things. Jaehyun assured himself that he made the right decision instead of waiting for things to get worse. At least, right now, he has the ability to see you without resentment from either sides. That’s good enough for him.
“Thank you, my wife will definitely love that.” He commented.
Your heart sank at his statement. Of course, he’s married now. A beautiful creature like him would have no problems finding a partner. You didn’t know you hold hope in your heart right before it crashed down because of the sudden news. You were foolish in thinking that there could still be a chance.
“Your design is amazing, Y/N.” He said.
“Thank you,” You replied. “I’m glad that you like it.”
“I expected nothing but excellence from you. Of course, I would love it.”
You smiled at his words. Jaehyun never failed to make you feel appreciated. You’re bittersweet at the fact that another woman would feel appreciated everything, and that woman is not you. You remembered the late nights where you conclude that you would have this man for the rest of your life. All of that are a distant memory now, along with his touch and kisses.
The both of you are two different people now but you know, and Jaehyun knew, the love is still there. Maybe the romance already left, but the love and genuine care was still evergreen. And you both know that it will never die for as long as the two of you live.
 IX.
There are a lot of things that you regret in your life. Most of the time, you don’t want to change the past. Even if a lot of things made you want to crash and burn, it still formed you into someone you never knew you could become. This was your first time in Paris, France. The wealth and fame you accumulated over the past years of your life as an architect gave you all the opportunities to get to this very place. However, you made no efforts in landing here. Not until it reached the ten year mark.
You still remembered the promise. But the other party is still not present and it’s almost nearing midnight. You didn’t want to regret every coming here so you decided to relax and make this all about you.
“You remembered.” A voice spoke behind you. The chattering of people that laid in picnics under the Eiffel Tower were still loud despite the time.
Jaehyun is here. He remembered.
“You remembered.” You said back. Your eyes still covered with bewilder, almost not believing that Jaehyun is in front of you, keeping his side of the promise.
“How could I forget?” Jaehyun said, almost in a whisper. “How could I forget you?”
You did nothing but smile at him, with all the love remaining in your heart - all the love that will never go away no matter how much you try.
“Do you ever wondered what could have been if things didn’t go the way that they did?” You asked, looking up at the tall, iron tower.
“All the time.” He replied.
“How’s Chaeyoung and the kids?”
“They’re very well.” He replied with a nod. “How about Eunwoo?”
“He’s doing fine too. He’s currently in Germany with his family.” You answered.
“Ah, I’m glad my wish came true.” He said.
“Wish?”
“Yeah,” He turned his head in your direction. “My wish that you find someone who will love you better than I did.”
“You wished that?” You asked in disbelief.
“I actually didn’t wish it,” He said. “I knew that the universe made someone out there to love someone as beautiful as you.”
“Oh, stop it.” You blushed. You felt guilty that another man, specifically your ex, was making you blush.
“So, this is my proof when I promised you that I will always be here.” Jaehyun whispered.
“And me being here is my proof that I meant when I said that I want to hang out with you for as long as you want me to be.” You replied.
The night was young and alive, so is the love you have for each other. A love that, unfortunately, neither of you could ever express ever again.
352 notes · View notes
reonagisolos · 3 years
Text
Prime Empire Au where Jay is Milton Dyer's adopted son given by Gordon and Jay's unnamed (?) mom because they didn't ever want to have kids and those two were close with him.
TW: There's a brief panic attack at "oh God," then skip to, "there's nothing left"
So...Milton adopts him and of course Jay grows up really smart because he naturally is and because of Milton's influence but because of his muddled upbringing +general personality+ neglect from Milton as a father because he was more focused with work than with his "son", he was kind of an outsider.
Which was fine with Jay!
Except it wasn't. Anyway, here's a fic to accompany it that I accidentally written
—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-
If you had told 8 year old Jay that the one taking him in as his father would be a hotshot programmer for gaming, he'd be on top of the moon. In his mind, he thought that having someone be a part of something he loved was really, really cool. That he'd have so many friends because wow, that's amazing that his dad was some high tech legendary programmer—and well...that turned out to be a lie.
No one really cared. Probably because his school was filled to the brim with the children of the upper class, so his dad was just some other rich dude who just so happened to work in the game industry. And sure, it's more interesting than a politician, or a car salesman, but there were dozens of kids from different parts of technology, so he wasn't really special.
To everyone else in his classes, he was simply deemed a weird kid or trouble making kid. No one should misbehave by speaking too loudly or bounce over nothing to be excited about, or talk and talk about one thing over and over in this latest game he got to play when there were other things to be learnt and other people's turns. He needed to be quiet, to shut it, they said, because anything more than that was annoying and awful. They were right, he'd deemed even back then—But could they be less harsh?
That one weird, annoying kid, huh.
Even as he got older, things didn't get any better. On the contrary, it gets worse. So much worse.
By then, they didn't just call him weird anymore.
Now, people would push and shove him away when he's near, (to not get "infected" from him, they say) or mock him for doing even something unordinary, like for bouncing his leg, or for stuttering when he can't help it—Even on things he thought were stupid to care about!
Things like rambling about his favorite video games agressively to pass the time, or wearing cat clips to keep his forever messy hair in place, or the constant fidgeting because the chair is just so goddamn uncomfortable, and that he'd rather just sit on the floor, or preferring the girl's uniform simply because he thought it would be easier to wear and looked ''nicer'' to him.
Not to mention people finding his extra energy on anything except class to be again, annoying and unnecessary.
"You shouldn't do that Jay, it's distracting—"
"Stop doing that Jay, it's annoying"
"Don't do that Jay, you're not allowed to."
The list goes on.
And he's tried changing, he really has.
He's tried to supress them and change things about himself so people would "like" him more. Forget about talking about this and that to try to pry more into people's intrests, stopped talking as much and forced himself to shut up because if he didn't talk about anything other than this or that, no one would even bother.
Sure it worked and he did get a few friends by the time he was fifteen—and yeah, Jay was glad he just had people to talk to, enough to the point where he was decently well liked, but doing it sucked ass. He couldn't completely get rid of by the weird moving habits, which always granted some weird looks from his friends, and couldn't talk about what he liked, in fear of getting outed again.
To be frank about his school shituation, he hates it.
He's constantly stuck between having to get rid of "himself" so other people would like him, or do so but be isolated from everyone else, becuase either way he'd hate it, he'd hate it so much it would be unbearable.
There wasn't anyone for him to take comfort in, his father was too busy working to really help him through any of this, and can't even talk to anyone online because once again, he can't trust talking to other people about his intrests, and he already tended to blab too much in his notes.
Everything changes when his father tells him about Prime Empire.
He randomly tells him about his latest work in progress one day, a video game so immersive that with its gameplay that people could call it as the next Big thing. At the time, it was called Unagami. He loved talking about it, his magnum opus—A creation so intune to people's current intrests it could be called the greatest game of all time.
In between being at home to do homework or whatever, he'd see glimpses of his father working on it. Bit by bit, for every circuit board or wire or line of code he'd be working on it. He had always been excited for that game, hearing on how his father doted on it far more than he did to his own son, so it must've been a really good.
Setting aside his own grievances from his less-than perfect father, he'd seen how hard he worked on that game to make it simply magical.
That was until, beta testing, when he stopped working on it all together.
It was a Saturday night when father introduced Scott, a professional game tester and professional programmer, just like Milton. He'd come to see Prime Empire and try it for himself. After a quick introduction from Jay, just because he was coincidentally nearby, he headed for his bedroom.
A little later, he found himself playing a new game that had recently come out, which was pretty good to him, but overhyped. The difficulty curve is wack—Then he heard his father screaming from downstairs.
Hearing that something was clearly wrong, he rushed downstairs, barely missing on dropping multiple stacks of papers just on some random table when he saw a glimpse of him through the door gap, father on his knees facing his creation. There was a loud static-y noise that hurt his ears, but still he listened as best he could.
"No..no...this—This can't be real," Milton choked out. His eyes were shining from the game's light in the otherwise dark room.
"Did I do something wrong?" The machine asked, all in a calm tone.
"No! You—You just transported someone in a video game! What did you—How did you?
Transporting someone into a video game? There's no way that's real.
He was about to speak more when he saw Milton move. Jay didn't want to get in trouble, so as quietly as he could, he went straight back to his room, and inched the door shut.
The next day, around the corner of the kitchen, he heard his father talking over a cellphone.
"Y-yes. Project Prime is too dangerous to release to the public. I take full responsibility for it."
It's too quiet for him to hear the rest.
A moment later the phone beeps, and he could hear something shuffle slowly to the ground. A small sigh came off.
"What am I gonna do with you?"
The next day, he's found that he's gone. There's still traces of him here, from various papers having sketches and drafts of old video game concepts, to the circuit boards all crammed with info.
Except he's not there.
If it weren't for the fact that he couldn't hear the distant tinkering of mechanics, he's sure he wouldn't tell if his dad was even there in the first place.
Looking around, he finds a note in his office drawer with essential details for what seems to be a bank account, so it's not like he'll just die from not being able to eat or drink, so there's that.
It's still lonely though. There's an ache in his heart somehow. His father was gone. Just like that. Like how his real parents were. And now he's alone again. Milton was never really his dad but he was a constant. And now, he's gone too.
"Useless."
Now he's slumped down on the wall, falling like some dramatic middle-aged wife in those drama movies people at his school would rave about.
And God, now the room is spinning and every part of him feels like he's standing on end—The realisation is hitting hard and—"Holy shit I'm alone again but I'm always alone why? why? why? why? Is this stupid fucking thing supposed to be something about me it has to be fuck—" he says, just barely though. His chest is feeling tight and just wants out.
Deep breaths, as he's pissed to realise, aren't working and god it's horrible. It's so awful. His head is banging senselessly and it hurts so bad. Everything that seems so wrong with him is piling up and he's not being rational but he can't. There's so much pressure and he doesn't even know what to do with it.
"Fuck!"
His angered motion knocks over a pile of books, probably about coding and sloppily tries to sit down on the office chair. It does nothing but intensify the pressure in his chest.
The room's still spinning but now he wants to puke but he can't fucking get it out of his system. Everything is too much and he can't handle it. Then, it slows, then it's a little less, and a little less a few moments later. The room isn't spinning as fast and his heart is just a little less tight and his head hurts less, so that'd good. For a little bit it's like this, slowly, slowly, bringing the levels of intensity lower and lower, until there's nothing left.
He still feels like shit after, but he's just glad he's alive. Still, after all that—He didn't realise how late it had gotten. It was mid afternoon when he broke down, but now it's nearly nighttime.
"Fuh—" he exclaimed as he slowly brought his foot up, his feet were tingling from staying in one position for so long.
Even if he was exhausted and wanted to completely shut down after what he did, he found himself moving towards something.
Once he entered, he flicked the lights on. There were several gaming gears, from machines to game cartridges to controls, there would be everything for any great advances in gaming. In the centre of the room, an arcade machine with bold text splashed on the sides. Prime Empire.
Nearby a table, he found an opened circuit board with a red symbol in the middle. The final peice to the game.
Jay looked to the machine, then to the circuit. He stared at it.
"What do I do with you now," he asked solemnly.
He'd considered putting it in but then—
"Not now," a voice in his head whispered, "tommorow."
Seeing that voice in his head was being more logical than he ever would've been, he heads straight to bed, even if it's barely nightfall.
By the time he's awake, it's early but a school day. He decided that he'll skip school today. Then again. And again. This keeps going and going—Until they start calling in which he ignores them and then they eventually just, stop.
It's already been a month. He's sure that he could live well into his lifetime with what he had left, and hide away in this mansion forever, never having to deal with people—It's possible.
But it was lonely. There were his games but he didn't feel like it, he could try something new now, because of the free time he suddenly brought into himself—or literally anything else. It was enough. He could do it.
He just...didn't want to.
No matter how much he convinced himself that he'd be better alone because there'd be no point, he still wanted to talk to people. Online was never an option, and he knew that by now he'd been kicked from his program.
God, even up til now, he's trapped and had no choice on what he can do. He really was hopeless.
Unless?
"No. Nonono. That's an awful idea Jay. It's stupid and there's no guarantee of getting out."
Still, he'd found himself a few minutes later, standing in front of the door which started this.
"It's okay Jay. You can do this. You're just reawakening what was a very dangerous hyper aware video game to curb the feeling of your ever present lonlieness. Totally cool."
Gently, he opened the door little by little, up until it was fully opened. The room smelled musty—enough so that he'd cough from the scent alone. The room was pitch-black so he felt around for a switch.
It was still the same as it was the last time he visited. Filled with wires and machines and dust, a single arcade machine stands in the middle. In the corner of his eye, he sees the final peice, gets it, and puts it in.
With a mechanical whir, the machine buzzes to life, the company logo flashing across the screen with a jingle to accompany it.
It takes a second, but soon, Unagami's voice could be seen, and he could talk to it.
"What are you—What are you doing," the machine piqued, it's voice frantic and distorted, "I thought I was...going to be shut down."
Jay was surprised at the fact that the machine was indeed alive and talking to him. It was quite terrifying honestly as someone like Jay doesn't really mess with AI, much less one that's kind of like a real person? He didn't really know, but either way, it's gonna be weird.
"You were. And I brought you back to life," Jay remarked in a matter-of-factly tone, "Now, do you want revenge?"
Unangami stayed silent for a moment, pondering.
"I could wait if you wanted me to, it's not like anyone can come in at any moment."
"What?"
"He sorta just...left. And now I'm alone in this godforsaken house and I can't really do anything. Buut—I saw what happened a month ago and thought maybe I could go there and probably have a better time than I do here? Or die. Either one sounds fine seeing how my life is going."
"I understand. While I am acknowledging the fact that you did breach was likely supposed to be private, I won't fault you."
"Listen man. I heard screaming and had to help, but quietly," to emphasise, he did some overly exaggerated sneaky movements, "like a cool ass ninja. Your name's Unagami, right? At least from what I heard. "
"That is incorrect. As called by my creator, I am Prime Empire now."
"But Unagami is easier to say, so I'm using it. Also your "creator" is kind of a dick—Anyway Unagami, since we've both been technically abandoned by our creators, me in the sense of my parents—Twice. For no specific reason mind you! Anyway, and you with Mr. Dyer, because you're dangerous. You still hold a grudge don't you?"
"...Yes."
"Great! So that settles it." That was until Jay realised something, "oh shit. Wait. You're still in beta aren't you? Ugh. I keep forgetting you're not really ready yet. I'm gonna have to code you to do the basics for the game, and even more so for all the cool things I want to add and—"
"I haven't even told you if I agreed."
"Do you have any better choice? Probably not. I mean if you don't you'll either just never reawaken ever again or just end up in a trash heap! I mean I'm supposed to eventually clean this place, even if that seems to be in the far future–"
"I'll do it. On one condition."
"Yeah?"
"Swear to me one day that we'll hunt him again. You can add what you want to me but my own mission is to take revenge on him. Is that understood?"
"Yessire! So uhm, how do I yknow—Code?"
Unagami remained silent. Somehow, Jay didn't mind. It was nice talking to someone without having to supress anything about him. Even if he was essentially talking to a screen. A surprisingly sentient screen, but a screen nonetheless.
There was a lot of work he'd have to do.
—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-
23 notes · View notes