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cursedvida · 7 months

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SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE V (Buggy x f!Reader)

PART IV // PART VI

WARNINGS: Smut, Minors DNI please go away. I mean masturbation, dirty talk, vaginal fingering and a lot of +18 things babies.

N/A: From now to the end the series are starting to be very hot, sorry not sorry. But yeah porn with feelings.

The confrontation with the marines was not complicated, it was just a ship without a very powerful captain, so it was quite easy to finish them off. As everyone witnessed -part- of your skills, you decided not to hold back in a battle anymore. You didn't show your full potential either, just enough to get rid of a few cadets while leaving Buggy free to show off in front of the whole crew.

At the end of the battle, Buggy decides to celebrate the victory using the barrels you stole from the navy ship. Another party of many on Buggy's pirate ship, it almost seems like a habit to end up all drunk on beer and rum. You must admit you've never drunk so often before.

While the musicians begin to play a song and you hear the laughter of some of your crewmates, you feel that someone is watching you. Buggy has his eyes on you, those eyes that you like so much and that you have imagined looking at you that way a thousand times. You feel the lust and desire in them, which excites and overwhelms you in equal parts. Buggy pretends to listen to his subordinates while still paying attention to you, he takes a sip from his beer mug without taking his eyes off you. You watch him from the corner of your eye, not taking your mind off what has happened this morning: the wet taste of his mouth, his hands roaming your body, his fingers in places no other man has touched. You swallow saliva, you want him as much as he wants you, you feel a tightness in your chest too great, you feel like something inside you is going to explode.

You need some air, so you decide to withdraw for a moment, get away from the people. You go down to the cellars so you can breathe for a moment. You think that you are being unconscious, that you are getting too carried away. Who is this person non capable of thinking clearly? Since when do you let yourself be carried away by absurd desires and give up a mission on a whim? That's not you, you don't recognize yourself. You've never had time for that kind of nonsense, why is it different now? Why with him?

"Do you like to meet in this place?"

You recognize that voice instantly. As you look up there is Buggy, your captain, standing in front of you with his eyes bright from the contrast they make with the dim light in the room. You keep wondering what his face must look like without so much makeup, what his lips must taste like without the aftertaste of face paint. You lose your senses again and all the questions and reproaches you asked yourself earlier disappear.

"I thought you wouldn't remember" you say in a whisper "you were really drunk that night."

Buggy approaches you slowly, never taking his eyes off you. When he's at your level he lifts your chin gently with his fingers.

"Not that much" he admits, cocking a smile.

Your heart starts pounding at the thought of him maybe kissing you at a moment's notice. At times like this you wish your life had been otherwise, more normal, less violent. Then you could have had an ordinary adolescence, met some boys, had some experiences. So, at least now you wouldn't feel so ridiculous for not knowing how to react when a man calls out to you.

You look away, somewhat self-consciously.

"You fought very well today…" You comment shyly, radically changing the subject.

"I admit I went too far" he forces your chin to look back at him "but it's just that those suckers interrupted me at a very important moment, and I really can't stand that."

A nervous giggle escapes you. God, what a fool you are. You feel ashamed of yourself.

"Buggy, I…" You move closer to him, melting into an embrace. His smell makes you feel good, in a safe place.

The captain doesn't know how to react, after your hot encounter this morning he thought you were going to go on the lust attack without too much thought, but that embrace so warm, so intimate, has caught him totally off guard. Today he watched you fight, he watched with pleasure as you knocked out those navy pigs without ruffling your hair, it made him even hornier than he already was. But when you hug him like that, like someone holding on to an iron beam so as not to lose his balance, he realizes that maybe you were right and he was really underestimating your feelings. That maybe not a purely sexual attraction.

"I don't know what's wrong with you" you confess, hiding your face in his chest so you don't have to look him in the face "But you make me feel so silly."

"Well, that happens to a lot of people when they discover my incredible wit" he boasts, trying to take the intensity out of the situation.

"It's not because of that" you reply softly "it's just… I really like you a lot. I'm not playing games."

And he realizes then how vulnerable you are being in his arms. Your honesty about emotions is something that always catches him off guard but at the same time touches him. How can you be so insanely honest? Fuck, it feels like you're playing at leaving him unarmed.

"I want you so badly," you tell him in a whisper, and it unleashes all his most primal instincts.

Buggy lets out a sort of wild animal-like growl. You then notice how he lifts you into the air, sitting on one of the barrels in the hold. You are now almost at the same height. He looks you in the eyes again, his nose brushing yours.

"You're a dangerous little girl" he strokes your hair with an open hand and a certain paternal air "very dangerous."

At that moment you give him a gentle kiss on his nose. It's something you've wanted to do for a long time because, contrary to what he thinks, you don't find it horrible, but appetizing in a way. You don't know how he's going to react to such an action, but when his gaze changes, turning wild, you know you've pressed a button from which there's no turning back.

The next thing you know, Buggy has taken hold of your neck, kissing it, biting it, leaving a trail of red paint on your smooth skin. You've triggered his wild side, his hands are no longer as soft and slow as they were this morning, now they don't hesitate to strip off your shirt, leaving you in your bra. His mouth runs down your collarbones, down your chest and finally you notice how his tongue begins to slurp the top of your breasts. On the other hand, his hands run along your waist, down to your buttocks to remove the shorts you are wearing. Before you know it you are almost naked in front of him, noticing how your cheeks suddenly turn red.

You grab his hair, pulling off his hat and then his bandana to realize that his hair is actually longer than you imagined. Strands of blue hair falling over his face. You notice your cheeks red again, for some reason you find him more handsome than ever.

"Buggy, I've never…" you're embarrassed to even say it, seeing him so thrown. He looks at you, his pupils dilated with excitement "I've never… been like this with anyone."

The idea of being the first one able to go that far with you doesn't seem to disgust him, quite the opposite. There is a smirk on his face, he feels so full of himself. He knows that you are giving him a privilege that you have not wanted to bestow on anyone else, only him, which swells his pride considerably.

"Then I'll have to make sure you have a great time," he replies to you, mischief in his gaze.

He spreads your legs then and bends down slightly, removing your panties to expose the most intimate part of you. You notice your cheeks light up just before you feel your whole face burning. Buggy is kneeling, staring at your crotch with an almost famished expression.

"Don't do that, I'm embarrassed."

He lets out a laugh just before he approaches your wetness. That's when you gasp at the contact of his tongue with your intimacy. Buggy starts to move his tongue expertly, trying to find your clit, while you do your best not to lose your balance. One of your hands goes to his hair, while the other tries to hold on to the barrel. You feel totally vulnerable, exposed to this man who has decided to make of you whatever he wants because you let him. His tongue running along your pussy, finding that sensitive area that makes you let out a huge moan of pleasure.

"Mmm, there it is" he relishes, looking at you for a moment.

You watch him, panting, spread-eagled in an absolutely obscene position that, at the same time, excites you enormously. You love being at his mercy, moaning every time his tongue caresses your clitoris, sucking expertly as you let out sighs and sounds you never thought could come out of your mouth.

"Fuck little girl, it's fucking wonderful when you growl like that" he comments just before he starts eating you again.

You notice how he has pulled his hands away from your body. As he continues to lick your pussy, he removes his gloves in midair. His hands go to your back, unclasping your bra. You are now totally naked before him. Your breasts glisten in the light of the room, your nipples are erect and Buggy's hands begin to caress them, pinching them as his tongue works faster and faster.

You let out a cry of pleasure, you can't repress it, there are too many sensations at once.

Buggy makes one of his hands reconnect with your arm, pulls his face away and starts stroking you with one of his fingers. As he jerks you off, he sits up slightly, moving closer to you. His makeup is smudged. He gets close to your ear as he inserts one of his fingers into your vagina.

"You have no fucking idea how you have me right now" he comments, as you hold your breath as you feel him insert himself into your cavity "Fuck, gorgeous, you're so tight. I think we're going to have to do some work on this."

You hold onto his neck so you don't lose your balance as you feel his finger advance inside you. Buggy grabs your wrist, pulling your hand to his crotch. You can feel the huge bulge, hard and throbbing, noticeable under his pants.

"See?" he asks, staring at you before kissing you. His mouth is salty, tasting of your own fluids, something that manages to turn you on even more "That's how you got me. That's how you get me my little minx."

"Buggy…" you moan. Slipping your hand under his pants to touch his erect member. You've never done anything like this before, but instinctively you begin to move your hand, guided by the expressions of pleasure he puts on "Like this?"

"Perfect. Mmmm... good girl" he growls, sinking his head into your neck.

He pulls his finger out from inside you and starts stroking your clit while you do the same with his member. You both start moaning at the same time, Buggy looks at you then, notices your half-open mouth, your burning cheeks, your watering eyes. He revels in that virgin face discovering sex while you try your best to give him back all the pleasure he's giving you.

"You're a insane craziness" he whispers to you without taking his eyes off you "you're going to fuck my life".

You are not able to answer him anything, you notice that you are close to orgasm, each time the waves of pleasure are bigger and bigger.

"Buggy, I think… I think…"

"Hold on a little, baby girl. I'm almost there."

You try to hold back, biting your lower lip trying to stifle your moans. You wiggle his cock quickly, noticing how he gasps slightly. He wiggles his finger more as well. You both start moaning at the same time.

"I'm going to fucking cum" he gasps.

"Me too" you moan, almost unable to hold it in.

"Fuck!"

At that moment you notice how pleasure invades your whole body, rising from your lower belly to all your extremities. Your legs even tremble, you can't modulate your moans, you start to scream disconsolately as your body fills with spasms. You feel your vision blur for a few moments and, when you want to realize it, you are half dead on one of his arms while the hand holding his cock is completely stained. He has also cum and his face is resting on your tits, breathing heavily. You feel your heart racing.

"Fuck me" he sighs, looking up.

For some reason you see him looking more handsome than ever, more attractive than any other time. At that moment, if he asked you for anything, you'd go to hell itself. He gently pulls you up. With the hand that was holding you so you wouldn't fall, he pushes your hair away from your face. He smiles then, looking quite pleased.

"You're definitely going to ruin me."

And then he lets out a tremendous laugh.

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fortheloveoffanfic · 2 years

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Old Habits

Frank Adler x reader

Author's Note: Very grateful (and surprised) by the positive reception, especially after being so nervous about posting it. Gentle reminder that feedback is always welcome and appreciated. Masterlists

Chapter 2

Chapter 1 Summary: Three years after she left Frank and Mary behind, Y/n returns to Florida for the wedding of mutual friends, what ensues may prove that like old habits, some feelings just don’t die. Chapter Summary: A run in with Y/n over drinks with Bonnie leads to a bit more of her and Frank's is revealed. Warnings- Angst

Picking at the label on his beer bottle, Frank allowed himself to be submerged in thought. For hours since he’d last seen her, he’d been replaying his last conversation with Y/n in his mind. She hadn't given him much to go on, but that didn't stop him from dissecting everything she'd said; the way she'd talked about Atlanta, she seemed to genuinely love it there, and while he wanted to be happy for her, he couldn't help but wish that she'd missed Florida at least a little bit.

Missed him and Mary.

He remembered when Jack had mentioned in passing that she'd moved to Atlanta for a job at a private hospital, he'd been calling her apartment for months to no avail. The news hadn't been as shocking as it was disappointing; by then Frank had already started to accept that he'd lost her, but her leaving meant that there was no getting her back. Naturally, Mary had been confused, it didn't matter how smart she was, she simply couldn't understand why someone who she loved, and who supposedly loved her so much, would just leave like that. Frank hadn't understood either.

Mary.

He was surprised that Y/n hadn't asked to see her, it stung a little too and left him wondering if she still cared. How could anyone just forget their family like that? He couldn’t do it, he hadn’t done it; part of Frank was still holding onto the life they’d built together.

“Something on your mind?” Bonnie’s words pierced his thoughts and when she put her hand over his, Frank jumped a little. He hadn’t told her about Y/n, not about their very intertwined pasts and not about her being at the wedding. Before that weekend he never had any reason; Mary never brought her up and she’d been gone for so long that the house had stopped like it was part hers.

Taking a swing of his beer, he set the tinted bottle down with a quiet thump and shook his head, “Its nothing,” he shrugged dismissively. He hadn’t told her before and that night, while they were already in Miami and staying in the same hotel with her, was not the one to tell Bonnie about his ex. Frank didn’t even think he ever wanted to tell her, not because he was ashamed, but because he knew her well enough to know how she’d react. There’d be too many questions, maybe some tears and probably an argument.

“Worried about leaving Mary for the weekend?” She pressed with a gentle frown, it had been a mission of hers to get him to open up.

He shook his head, retiring further into the wicker chair and consequently pulling his hand away. They were at the hotel’s outdoor bar, where the view of the beach and the setting sun past the picturesque horizon was at its best. The burnt orange sky had washed the area with a warm dimness and had resulted in long shadows being cast on the sand dusted wooden floors. It was the kind of view that could easily empty your mind in a minute, but that evening he didn't think that was possible, not when Y/n was closer than she'd been in years and he still had so many questions.

“Uh….yeah, I guess,” he lied, casting his guarded gaze out to the sprawling ocean. He didn’t like lying to her, but Frank didn’t particularly favor telling her the truth either.

Bonnie hummed and smiled sympathetically, “I’m sure she'll be fine, she’s with Roberta, so don’t worry about it. But if you want, we can head up and give them a call before she goes to bed.”

Glancing back towards Bonnie, he smiled halfheartedly and nodded, “Sounds great, babe.” Bringing the bottle back to his lips, he took another swing before propping the bottle on his jean clad lap. He was about to say something else in a bid to change the topic, when from a few tables away, he heard a familiar laugh; bright, melodic and so warm that it was almost as if a day hadn’t passed since he’d last heard it.

Following the dwindling sound, he eventually spotted Y/n, Amanda and a couple other bridesmaids at a table not too far off, colorful margaritas decorating their table. Despite his best efforts, Frank’s stare lingered specifically on her until she glanced his way, a softer smile gracing her lips as their eyes met. It took a minute, but he reciprocated the expression, nodding subtly as she half waved.

Noticing the interaction, Bonnie casually turned to see who he was looking at, “Who are you….?”

“No one,” Frank waved off her question, even though she actually wasn’t looking at him, and was instead trying to find who he’d been staring at. Thankfully though, Y/n had already returned to her conversation with the ladies.

“Oh, isn’t that Amanda?” Finally, she turned back to him, “The bride.”

Frank cleared his throat, “Uh, yeah, yeah. She’s with the bridesmaids, so-”

“Maybe we should go over and say hi,” she suggested excitedly and while Frank did admire Bonnie’s willingness to get along with his friends, he did not want to have to introduce her to his ex. Before he could even respond though, she was standing, and inwardly, he groaned.

Reluctantly, Frank stood too, taking her offered hand as they trudged towards the table. Already, his mind was trying to find ways to introduce her to Y/n in a way that would keep things as discreet and as painless as possible. He could say she was an old friend, but that would be technically lying, while saying that he’d spent almost a decade of his life with her and had been ready to marry her felt like way too much.

Maybe there was a middle ground, a way to say that they’d been together without making it a thing. An "in between" that gave just the right amount of information- a point of perfection that he did not have time to find because the ladies’ table was significantly closer than he thought it had been.

“Hey guys!” Amanda beamed and Bonnie quickly returned her greeting with the same vigor. “The girls and I just had some catching up to do,” he heard her say, primarily to Bonnie. They continued talking for a while, pulling in a couple other women at the table into their conversation, while at some point, Frank’s attention strayed to Y/n once more.

She ducked her head down that time, staring into her drink and fiddling with the tiny, paper umbrella stuck into it. Standing there, like that, it was easy to remember a time where finding each other in a crowd was second nature to them- at college parties or dive bars they used to frequent with their friends, then at holiday parties at their workplaces before they’d moved with Mary. There wasn’t a crowd that he couldn’t pick her out of, he still thought it was hard to not see her.

Just as he purposefully to let Bonnie’s hand go while discreetly trying to catch Y/n’s eyes, Amanda invited them to join their table, joking that they had to because she was the bride. It wasn’t long after that before chairs were brought over and somehow, maybe by unconscious effort of divine intervention, he ended up sandwiched between Bonnie and Y/n. Suddenly beer wasn’t enough and all he could think of was how she still wore that jasmine perfume that he’d bought her when they were still at university.

Why hadn’t he noticed that earlier that day, when they'd hugged?

“You’re seeing someone,” Y/n noted after a while, when Bonnie seemed submerged in conversation with some of the other ladies, “She seems nice.”

“I would’ve told you,” he rattled off defensively, “Its just….we didn’t get to talk too much-”

“Its fine,” she reassured, “You don’t need to explain yourself to me.” He didn’t, he knew he didn’t. Frank also knew that it was completely irrational for him to be upset that Y/n seemed okay with him dating. “So, how long have you two been…..?”

Okay, so maybe she did still care.

“A little less than a year,” he explained, trying his best to seem nonchalant and like he most definitely had not spent all the time prior to that hoping she’d come home- if she wasn’t going regret leaving, then he could act like he hadn't lost time thinking about her.

“Oh, great, great,” she smiled tightly, “She seems nice.”

“You said that earlier,” Frank recalled with raised brows, smiling a little as her cheeks heated up.

“Right,” Y/n huffed nervously, “Tequila brain,” she joked, bringing her drink close to her lips, wincing visibly at the taste.

“What are you doing?” Frank questioned humorously, nodding towards her barely touched drink. “You don’t even like margaritas,” she’d always been more partial to gin martinis.

She shrugged dramatically, “I don’t even know, its part of some….package thing that Mandy ordered, bottomless margaritas. This is awful,” she noted with another grimace.

“Wanna switch?” Frank offered his recently freshened beer, off the cuff, not even thinking that it might not have been the most appropriate thing to do, especially with his girlfriend sitting right next to him.

Knitting her brows, Y/n hesitated, “Are you sure?”

In response, he shook his shoulders and explained that he’d probably had too much anyway. With a quiet thanks, she took the bottle and set down her criminally colorful cocktail, taking a more appreciative swing before they lapsed into quiet conversation, sticking mostly to lighter topics- a crowded bar and in front of their friends was not the place to hash things out. Besides, talking to her so comfortably, like nothing had happened, felt good and as they carried on he’d even stopped paying attention to the rest of the table, at least, until someone brought up exactly what he thought he’d escaped;

“Bonnie,” it was Jessica, another one from their college bunch, “You know, Y/n and Frank used to be a thing.” She was notorious for getting chatty when she was tipsy and apparently three margaritas could do that to you.

For a minute, or maybe longer, their entire table went completely silent.

Without even looking at her, he could tell that Bonnie was looking in his and Y/n’s direction when she responded unsteadily, “No….I actually didn’t.”

“Oh yeah,” she hiccuped, “They used to be engaged-”

“Jess, would you shut up?” Amanda suddenly intervened, once more plunging their entire party into glaring awkwardness.

“You were engaged?” Bonnie whisper-hissed.

Presumably embarrassed, Y/n sent the amber tinted bottle down with a resounding thud and stood so abruptly that the legs of her chair scarped loudly against the floor, “I think it's time for me to go,” she grabbed her phone and small purse off the table, “You seem great, I wish we'd met under.....different circumstances, and uh...I’m really sorry about this,” she glanced at Bonnie, trying to smile sympathetically but only managing a frown, “I’m just gonna….”

“Y/n,” simultaneously, he and Amanda called after her, as everyone else started whispering among themselves while trying to get Jessica to have some water.

“Its fine,” she waved dismissively, “But I really think I should just….” she pointed to the doors that lead to the inside of the hotel, “I’m gonna….yeah….” And that was the last thing she offered before scurrying inside.

If raising a kid had taught him anything, it was that sometimes people didn't always mean what they said. Like when Mary said she didn't care if he cut the crusts off her grilled cheese, what she really meant was that she wasn’t going to eat them if he left them on, and when Bonnie said she was fine and wasn’t upset because she knew he had a life before their relationship, what she really meant was that she’d be giving him the cold shoulder until he asked if she was sure that she was okay.

In retrospect, he should have told Bonnie, especially since he’d known for months that Y/n was going to be Amanda’s maid of honor. Easily, Frank could think of all the things a therapist might say, without even having to see one; he was avoiding confrontation, he was trying to salvage this relationship because of how the last one had ended, he hadn’t actually accepted the break up- part of him knew that the last one was true. Up to that very day, he simply couldn’t fathom it; how did he and Y/n go from planning a wedding to living hundreds of miles apart? When did he stop being the first person she called? How did he not know that she’d moved?

They were supposed to work it out. she was supposed to come home.

It was funny how things could go from great to horrible so quickly- just like that, because sometimes horrible things happened for no reason.

Sometimes one horrible thing could mute a million good things.

“I just can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me. Do you know how humiliating it was to find out like that?” Was what had followed him asking if she was sure about being okay. “I mean, that’s pretty big Frank, and she’s like….five doors down.”

“I didn’t think it was gonna be a thing,” he reasoned, shedding the plaid button up he'd been wearing over his white t-shirt as he kicked off his shoes, while Bonnie sank to the bed and got started on the straps of her sandals. “Besides, it was like….three years ago.”

“Its only been three years?” She leaned forward, planting her hands on her knees as her face contorted in a mixture of fury and disbelief. “How long were you together?” She asked suddenly and Frank sucked in a breath.

“Ten years,” he blurted out quickly, finally realizing just how it would really seem to her. A decade long relationship; college sweethearts plunged into parenthood. They would have stayed together had things gone according to their original plan. But that was over and she was long gone, so all he could do was try to make sure the relationship he did have didn't fall apart. “Bon,” Frank suspired heavily, “We were young-”

“You were gonna marry her, three years ago!" She stressed, eyes shining as she glanced up at him, “Is she and ex that you wanted to be an ex? Cause you two seemed pretty fucking cozy downstairs.”

Confused, Frank knitted his brows and folded his arms defensively, “What?”

Bonnie groaned in frustration, sitting up a little straighter and raising her voice, “Did she break up with you or did you break up with her?”

Frank huffed, moving towards the mini bar, swiping a beer out of it and popping the cap with a nearby opener- if they were going to keep fighting about that, then he needed a drink. “Why does that even matter?” He took another swing of his beer, trying to swallow the memories.

“Just tell me,” she bemoaned, looking away from him as he slumped into a chair at the small table near the window, slouching against the back and draping an arm on the table.

“Its complicated,” he admitted quietly, still unwilling to get into it.

“Then uncomplicate it.”

Thinking for a moment as he downed a couple more mouthfuls, he drummed his fingers against the mahogany surface, stare slowly going blank as he finally relented, “Fine.”

*****

Tagging- @patzammit @dearmasaddict @swthxrry @flowerjewels

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #frank adler x reader #cevans #gifted #fanfic #old habits

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crankynewt · 3 years

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Good for a Weekend (Helmut Zemo)

Masterlist

Summary: You were retired, a disgraced Avenger content living the rest of their life out in solitude. But Sam and Bucky's shenanigans dragged you back into the hero life and you found yourself face to face with the man who'd got you into this mess in the first place. The question is, however, is he really who you thought he was? Or are you just as crazy as him?

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x Reader

Warnings: TFAWS Episode 3 Spoilers, Zemo (he's a warning), swearing, mentions of torture and experimenting (past), drinking, Zemo being semi-protective, I think that's it??

Word Count: 3.41k

Author's Note: Biting the bullet and writing this BEFORE Marvel does something to get us to hate him again. Also, ZEMO AND BLANK SPACE WORK SO WELL TOGETHER OMG.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” You murmured, looking at the message from Sam flashing across your phone. Although you had stopped dead in your tracks, the chaos of the bustling streets of London continued around you. You pushed your sunglasses further up your nose, them having fallen down as you were peering at the screen of your burner cell.

‘Need your help in Madripoor ASAP,’ the text read. You weren’t daft, you knew exactly what kind of lawless entropy happened on that Indonesian island and if Sam was asking for your help, that meant he was in some deep shit.

‘I’m retired,’ you replied, glancing over your shoulder out of habit. Although you’d been pardoned after the Berlin incident by the government, you were still a disgraced Avenger in the eyes of the world. All you wanted was to live the rest of your life out in peace, a future without the world-saving you began when you left HYDRA with the Maximoff twins.

You hadn’t chosen to become a human lab rat, tortured and exposed to the mind stone until you could suddenly hear the thoughts of others in your head. Telepathy and telekinesis were not necessarily the kind of special skills that employers wanted to see on a resume, but alas, here you were. Thankfully, however, you'd learned to block them out until necessary to violate people's privacy. Fighting aliens and other superpowered entities, including the people you’d once considered to be your family, were in the past.

‘Please. It’s Bucky,’ Sam messaged again. Those three words were enough to make your blood run cold and your heart stop. Bucky was the reason you were in this mess in the first place, and you would be damned if the ex-assassin was going to fall back into the clutches of evil.

With a sigh, you typed back ‘fine’ and began the trek towards your apartment. Your phone was vibrating again immediately, Sam explaining that they would be picking you up at a small airstrip on the edge of the city.

Three hours later, you were walking along a long, concrete runway, the harsh England wind attacking your body as you pulled your leather jacket tighter around you. Your brows furrowed in confusion at the sight of a civilian jet rather than the military-esque vessels you’d become accustomed to. The steps were awaiting your ascent with an older man stood adjacent to the entrance.

“Ms.(Y/L/N),” he greeted. A thick accent laced his tone, one you couldn’t quite determine from the crackling of age in his voice. German or Russian, most likely, you deduced. Attempting to be polite despite your skepticism, you gave him a tight-lipped smile and handshake before the elder man gestured towards the stairs for you. Entering the jet, you turned right to be met with the familiar faces of Sam and Bucky.

“(Y/N)!” Bucky exclaimed, rising from his seat and embracing you in a hug. He held you tightly against his body, almost as if he wasn’t sure you were really there. The super soldier had taken a liking to you when the two of you stayed in Wakanda during your exile, both of you having a certain understanding of the other due to your shared experiences with HYDRA. The sergeant had become somewhat of a brother to you in your time away together. “What are you doing here?”

“Sam messaged me.” You replied, Barnes’ arms immediately releasing you as he whipped around to face Sam.

“You tattled on me to (Y/N)?” He scoffed. If looks could kill, Sam would have dropped dead from the darkness in Bucky’s orbs.

“Wait, if he’s okay then what am I here for?” You said, shifting your gaze to Sam as you raised a brow.

“You’re here to make sure that he stays in line.” Sam snapped, crossing his arms over his chest as Bucky let out an exasperated ‘Jesus Christ’ under his breath.

“Bucky’s fine, Sam.” You replied, rubbing your face with your hand in annoyance as you glanced at the super-soldier.

“He’s not talking about James.” A new voice sounded from behind you, one both vaguely familiar but also strange. Whipping around, you were met with a face you’d only ever seen through a screen. Zemo.

“What the fuck is he doing out of prison?!” You exclaimed, looking between Sam and Bucky in utter disbelief.

“Bucky broke him out of jail!” Sam exclaimed, pointing a finger towards the super-soldier.

“Sam’s the one who pulled me into this mess!” Bucky pointed back.

“You two morons have reached a whole new level of dumbassery!” You exclaimed, keeping a cautious gaze on Zemo in the corner of your eye. “You broke out the man who ripped apart the Avengers out of jail and you let him do it?! The same man who killed King T’Chaka! Do neither of you remember what T’Challa and the people of Wakanda just did for us after we became enemies of the state?! I cannot believe that you would betray their trust and help this monster to escape!”

You paused for a moment, breathing heavily as you looked at the ashamed faces of Bucky and Sam in front of you.

“I’m sorry to-” You heard Zemo begin, you turned to face him with utter rage shining in your eyes. “No! The grown-ups are talking, you can wait your turn.” You scolded him, almost as you would a child but just a tad harsher. Grown-ups may have also not have been the best choice of words to describe Wilson and Barnes.

“I don’t want any part of this suicide mission!” You snapped at the duo, moving to leave.

Thirty minutes later, however, you were still on the jet, glaring into a pair of brown eyes as the four of you flew through the air. Honestly, you couldn’t believe you were still there, but Sam and Bucky knew you too well and pushed just the right buttons to convince you to stay. Sam needed you to tap into Zemo’s mind if need be to figure out if he was planning on betraying them, and you didn’t want two of the last people you trust getting themselves killed if you could prevent it.

Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum were sitting across from each other, meaning that you got stuck sitting across from the Baron in silence. He shifted uncomfortably under your gaze, the darkness in your (Y/E/C) orbs not sitting well with the man.

“So, you read minds.” He began, rubbing his hands together anxiously. You noted the nervous tick and couldn’t help but feel amused at his discomfort, but your expression never faltered.

“You don’t need to make small talk.” You bit, your icy tone growing colder in every syllable.

“I’m genuinely curious, is all.” He began, pausing his fiddling to brush his hair back only to resume it once more. “It just seems like for someone with your abilities, you’re often an overlooked member of the team. You’re the most powerful, even more so than Maximoff or Banner, perhaps, yet you were never truly an Avenger, were you?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m retired.” You muttered, ending your glaring to gaze out the window. The way Zemo spoke about you was unsettling, especially considering how he felt about the Avengers. He seemed not to think that you were part of the team, similarly to Bucky, and that brought you a feeling of unease.

“And why is that?” Zemo pushed, your avoidance evidence that he’d struck a chord.

“Why do you care?” You scoffed, looking back at the Sokovian man, both annoyance and exhaustion present in your tone.

“Because I think you’re like me.” He answered, his tone becoming quieter. Zemo didn’t look at you with the same rage you’d seen in footage from 2016, nor with the amusement that he gazed at Bucky and Sam with. No, it was something different, softer and analytical, perhaps. You wanted to peer into his mind for something, anything to figure out what he was thinking, but he would likely feel your prodding into his consciousness. As of now, he didn’t seem to have any plans to betray you guys, and you wouldn’t be the one to give him a reason.

“That’s enough from you.” Bucky interrupted, rising from his seat to switch places with you, his brotherly possessiveness clear as day.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and Zemo provided the three of you with costumes for the roles you were to play in Madripoor. Yours seemed to have been designed specifically to be horribly uncomfortable, both in feel and the amount of skin that was exposed in the cool evening air. The three of you were making your way towards the glowing city shining in the distance, the nerves in your stomach rising with each step.

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp.” Zemo explained in response to Sam’s protests over his own outfit. “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”

“He even has a bad nickname.” Sam said, looking at the picture of Conrad on the phone Zemo had just handed him. “Hell, he does look like me though.”

“And who am I supposed to be playing, exactly?” You questioned, still unsure as to what role you would be playing in this scheme.

“My partner,” Zemo said simply, an amused smile working his way onto his lips.

“What?! No! Nu-uh, I’m not doing that!” You protested, Sam chuckling at your denial of what was probably inevitable.

“Would you rather the alternative of all of us getting slaughtered the second we step foot into the city?” Zemo retorted, still humored by your resistance.

“Fine, but if you try anything I’m going to break your nose.” You gave in.

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

Soon, the four of you were making your way into a bar, Helmut’s arm wrapped tightly around your waist since the second you exited the car in a mock possessiveness. It was all part of the charade, you had to remind yourself, as the Baron kept your side pressed against his snugly.

Making your way up to the counter, the bartender didn’t look impressed to see the group of you there as he made his way over to you.

“Hello,” He began. “Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.”

“His plans changed. We have a business to do, with Selby.” Zemo interjected before Sam could respond.

“The usual?” The bartender ignored Zemo and turned his attention back to Sam, who simply gave a curt nod in response. The bartender turned, grabbing a snake from a jar and slicing it down the underside with a blade. A part of you wanted to cackle, especially seeing Sam stiffen beside you, and you didn’t doubt that Bucky was having to restrain himself as well. Zemo didn’t seem surprised as the bartender pulled who knows what out from the snake and placed it into a glass.

“Smiling Tiger, your favorite.” The Baron commented, the bartender sliding Sam his beverage only to pour two glasses of a different liquor for Zemo and yourself.

“I love these,” Sam said, raising to clink glasses with yourself and the Sokovian man whose arm was still draped around you.

“Cheers, Conrad,” Zemo replied, smiling back at poor Sam. The three of you downed your burning liquor, Sam struggling the most out of the three of you, clearly appalled by the organ at the bottom of his shot. You could see Bucky give a little nod in the corner of your eye, knowing he must be finding this as amusing as you were.

A man soon approached Helmut from behind, tapping him on the shoulder before he turned to face the stranger, shifting you with him. When Zemo felt the little nudge, he immediately pulled you closer to him. You were even tighter against him now, so much so that you had to wrap an arm around him as well to stabilize yourself. It was almost as if he was trying to shield you from the man despite him knowing full well that you can hold your own.

“I got word from on high; you ain’t welcome here.” He spat, getting too close to the two of you for either of your likings. But Zemo kept his air of indifference while you instinctually moved closer into his side. It’s all an act, remember? You have to play the part of the clingy partner who would get frightened at such a rough man threatening you two. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself.

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo began, trailing off as he gestured to Bucky.

“New haircut?” The strange man asked Bucky, who merely glowered in response.

“Or bring Selby for a chat.” Zemo finished, this time him being the one to get into the man’s face. Thankfully that was enough to send him away, most likely to Selby or this Power Broker who seems to be Madripoor’s own version of Big Brother.

You could feel Zemo let out a breath that you don’t think he even knew he was holding, giving a quick glance down at you before placing a peck on your temple. For the facade, of course. But what wasn’t fake were the butterflies rise in your stomach, something that you hadn’t felt in a long time. Were you… Flustered?

No, you reminded yourself internally. This was a very bad man holding you close, the same one who killed the former King of Wakanda and ripped your team to shreds. Not only that, but he hated all the Avengers, so why did he seem to like you? It doesn’t matter whether or not he likes you, he’s Zemo. But the more time you spent with him, the more intoxicated you became. He was starting to look more and more like your next mistake, and love is certainly not a game you wanted to be playing with him. Right?

The next thirty or so minutes were a blur. Bucky having to fake being the Winter Soldier to kick a bunch of men’s asses to finally meeting up with Selby, only for Sam to break your cover through a phone call and Selby quickly being shot. The four of you promptly exited the bar, attempting to remain inconspicuous until bounty hunters from all around started shooting at you. Bucky and Sam jumped forward, meanwhile, Zemo darted to the right, dragging you with him as he moved his hand from your waist to interlock your fingers.

You cut through alleyway after alleyway, hiding in the shadows as gunfire echoed around you. Eventually, you managed to catch up with Bucky and Sam, approaching the pair with your hand still in his.

“Well this is too perfect.” A female voice interrupted your mini-reunion, Sharon Carter emerging from the shadows as she ripped down her hood, gun fixated on Zemo.

“Drop it Zemo,” She started, Zemo raising his gun-holding hand before lowering the weapon to the ground. “You cost me everything.”

“Sharon, wait.” You reasoned, raising your hand as you slowly backed up.

“What, are you his lover now? His sugar baby or some shit?” She badgered you, causing your eyes to widen as you only just remembered that you were still holding his hand. You quickly dropped it, raising it to match your other arm as Zemo sent you a look that you couldn’t decipher. Oh, how desperately you wanted to look into his mind, but the little bit of sanity left in you told you to leave it be.

“Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead,” Sam explained.

“That explains why you guys are here. And Selby’s dead.” Sharon replied, gun still pointed at your group.

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky questioned the blonde.

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass so that you could save his ass from his ass and became a criminal with their ass.” She explained, pointing the gun at each mention of whoever's ass it was that turn. “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up, so, I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”

“Hey, don’t blow that smoke. I was on the run, too.” Sam rebutted Sharon’s complaints.

“Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore - I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”

“Listen…” You began. “Sharon, we need your help, the former agent only laughing in response. “Please.”

“This isn’t over.” She conceded, shaking her head at you. “I have a place in High Town, you should be safe there for a while.”

Sharon’s place was definitely nicer than yours is now, and you’re not even on the run anymore. She, thankfully, had a change of clothes for you to slip into, the soft material much a welcome relief from the tortuous item Zemo had you wearing.

While you were waiting for Sharon’s guests to begin arriving for whatever event would soon be taking place downstairs, everybody slowly filtered out of the room until it was only Zemo and yourself remaining.

“Can I ask you a question?” You spoke up, breaking the silence from your spot on the sofa as you glanced towards the Baron seated across the room.

“Ask away.” He smiled, taking a sip from the amber liquid in his glass.

“What did you mean earlier, when you said we were the same.” Your voice was quiet now, so much so that you weren’t sure if he’d even heard you. That is until he got up from his seat and slowly walked towards you.

“I never wanted to tear the Avengers apart, not until they killed my family. Destroyed my city… Sure, I didn’t like them, but I didn’t want to destroy them. It was all about vengeance.” He began, sitting beside you on the yellow fabric. “For you, it was HYDRA who ruined your life. You joined the Avengers because it was where the last people you had left were going and it was the easiest way for you to ensure the organization was destroyed. You never wanted the idolization that came with being a hero, and it was clear when your work was done that you had no desire to keep going. Everything that came after the Sokovia Accords was out of survival.”

“I’m not saying you're right,” you began, “but what would that make me, then? Insane? Cause that seems to be the running theory.”

“You’re not crazy, despite how rumors fly. Neither am I, really.” He began, eliciting a small smile from you at the last bit he added. “You’re a fighter, someone doing whatever it takes to get their agenda done. Whether that means breaking the law or joining the Avengers, nothing will stop you once you put your mind to it - it’s one of the things I admire about you.”

You pursed your lips as you focused on the amber fluid floating in its crystalline home, him taking another sip of the burning liquid. Your gaze shifted back to his face, and oh god, look at that face. Maybe it was the liquor in your system already or maybe your last bit of sanity was finally escaping your mind, but suddenly his past didn’t seem to matter anymore. You had plenty of red on your ledger as well, and the more he spoke the more you began to sympathize with him.

“So you admire me?” You smirked, crossing your arms as you tilted your head slightly to the right playfully.

“Why don’t you look into my mind and tell me?” He replied. Reaching out, you gently placed your fingers against his temple as you gazed into his consciousness. Flashes of magic and madness, ideas of a love that could be forever or go down in flames. You didn’t go searching deeper, because your own mind was racing. Would pursuing this be worth all the pain that could very well follow? No, not could, would. You’d be betraying your former teammates, but what did that matter much anymore.

Rather than pulling your hand away, you placed your lips gently on his, tentatively, even. He tasted of expensive liquor and a hint of peppermint, and you found yourself intoxicated. The kiss ended far too soon for your liking, him pulling away so his brown orbs could gaze into your own.

“So… What do you say?” He asked, cupping your cheek in his hand, you place your own over top of his.

“Why not?” You smiled back, reconnecting your lips to his.

“I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.”

Taglist:

@fanfictionedagain @lam-ila @b0nnyzz @haydieenzzibug @cyanide-mustard @duchess-of-new-shire @the-chocoholic-writer @milenadixon @real-fbi @golddenlioness

#i feel so guilty writing this lmao #i hate liking zemo rip #helmut zemo #zemo #helmut zemo x reader #tfaws #marvel #baron zemo #helmut zemo imagine #daniel bruhl #mcu #tfaws imagine #bucky barnes #sam wilson #zemo x reader #zemo imagine

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lo-frequency · 3 years

Note

Hi I love your blogand your writinh so much it's so good!

Could I request a shoto/denki and toga x chubby reader (if you're not comfortable writing with toga you can just to denki and shoto) thanks!

Fortunately for you, anon, I did them all! (and it's kinda long, so my bad lol) Also, there's mention of insecurity in Toga's, but it quickly turns to fluff. As always, please enjoy!

Denki

-Believe it or not, Denki was nervous to confess to you because he was afraid of being rejected. You’re so cute and cool and that he was sure there’s no way you actually returned his feelings. It was worth a shot, tho. So imagine his joy when you said you felt the same way :)

-Rants about you all the time to his friends, to the point where they feel like they know you personally before you’ve even met. They also get to hear all the tmi stories about what the two of you do alone, because he can’t help himself (if they don’t walk away first, lol).

-He knew you looked squishy before, but couldn’t believe how soft your skin was when he finally got to hold you. It was almost unfair. He often finds himself caressing your skin mindlessly whenever you’re close together, hand always ghosting across your arm or hand (or your thigh ;) ).

-Lays back on you to play video games, his head cushioned by your pillowy chest and the rest of his body situated between your legs as you watch him play. Play in his hair or rub his arms and he will fall asleep. The tingly feeling he gets when cuddling with you is his favorite kind of electricity.

-Zaps your butt “by accident”

-Easily flustered, but he tries to play it off with his cool act. Just kiss his cheek or tell him he’s handsome and watch him ramble about knowing he’s “irresistible” until he flushes red up to his ears.

-Denki can be pretty corny at times but he does have his serious moments, mostly when you two are alone together. He shows you what’s beneath his goofy facade, a boy with dreams and aspirations just like everyone else. After seeing this side of him, it’s a little irritating to hear people reduce him to an idiot (although he does have his moments 💀)

-Them thighs tho 😏 “Dang babe, you been working out?” “Not really, Kaminari” He clucks his tongue. “Sheesh, imagine being that thicc...naturally” he says, shaking his head as if it were a shame.

-Truly believes he has the best s/o in the whole school. Does not take offense to being called a simp 🤷🏾‍♀️.

-Wasn’t aware of it at first, but became super attracted to people with your same body type. His eyes always lingered on them in public, and he couldn’t help but think they were kinda hot (sorry, y/n)

-Very affectionate, but loves to receive as much as give, so please give this man plenty of kithes and hugs, he gets the shakes if he doesn’t get his daily dose of Y/n love.

-Y’all are so silly together, always cracking jokes or giggling about something. You eventually develop a similar sense of humor, and have so many inside jokes people can’t decipher your conversation. If anybody has anything negative to say about y’all: Denki puts his hand over his earpiece and says to you (from right next to him) “Pikachu to Big Sexy, I’m picking up some negative vibes on the radar, do you copy?” And you, holding your hand up to your own ear, say “Affirmative, doing a diagnostic scan...it’s a hater, confirmed.” Cue the obnoxious laughter, lmaoo

-Never forgets the anniversaries or relationship milestones. He even remembers the date of yall’s first kiss, and thinks about it every time the date passes (although he wouldn’t tell you that tho, that would be too sappy, even for him).

Shoto

-The way you and Shoto became acquainted was a little unorthodox. You fell on him during a training session one day, and the feeling of your soft body pressed against his was a new experience for him, to put it mildly. Shoto stood up from it a changed man. Call it an awakening, if you will.

-You were a little put off by all his staring since that incident, thinking he didn’t like you despite all your profuse apologies. But after Izuku dropped hints that it was probably fascination rather than contempt, your relationship progressed smoothly from there (thanks mostly to your efforts, since Shoto had no clue how to approach you).

-Shoto still had a staring problem once y’all became official, too. Whenever you asked him what he was looking at, he was not ashamed to tell you exactly why: you are too fine not to stare (ok, maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that)

-Not overly affectionate in public, but has a tendency to always stand or sit close to you whenever he can. Just sharing the same space is intimate to him.

-Sharing a bowl of soba noodles 💕

-Buys you expensive gifts all the time, and loves to see you using them. Especially if it’s clothes, it’s like a piece of him is always with you even when you’re not together (plus, it shows you’re all his ;) ).

-Now, I’m gonna tell y’all a little secret. It’s pretty shocking, so be warned: Shoto sometimes pretends to be oblivious when you hint at wanting affection, just to make you beg for it. Maybe you brush your hand against his, and he moves it. Or maybe he saw you lean for a kiss and he casually turns the other way just to hear you complain. He likes it, makes him feel wanted.

-Devious, I know, but just get even 😏

-When y’all are alone, he loves when you hold him close and just sit there, peacefully enjoying each other’s presence. He also likes to lay on your lap while reading a book or watching tv with you, slowly nodding off as you comb your fingers through his hair.

-Obsessed with you, but not in an unhealthy way, it’s just that you’ve become such a big part of his life that he kinda...thinks about you all the time. Shoto is canonically not very talkative, but I think that with you, he’d open up more about his true thoughts and feelings. So when he shoots you that blank stare when his classmates are up to some bull, you know exactly what it means.

-Also revels in knowing you that well, too. He’d flex how much he knows about you to the other people and sometimes unintentionally embarrasses you in the process

-For example: “Here Y/n, a cherry popsicle just for you!” Shoto immediately hands you some napkins before adding “Y/n doesn’t usually eat cherry popsicles, they always drop the red juice on their clothes.” Like gee, good looking out Shoto...thanks for telling the whole class I can’t eat without messing up my clothes 💀. He’s sweet tho, he has good intentions.

Toga

-She made it very clear from the beginning that she liked you, and with how smitten she was, who were you to refuse her (aggressive) advances?

- She thought your plump figure was just so cute, one of the cutest things she’d ever seen, and she quickly developed an unhealthy obsession with squeezing your chub.

-When you two are together, Toga is always attached to you in some way, whether she’s hanging off your arm or has her arms looped around your shoulders.

-Starts to eat the same foods you eat, borrow your clothes all the time, listen to your favorite artists, whatever way she could become closer to you

-Writes you love letters or sends you cute text messages all the time, you’re always on her mind, even when she’s on missions. “My Y/n is wayy cuter than you! Let’s get this over quick so I go back to them, ok? 🥰 🔪🔪”

-I know y’all were waiting for this...she most definitely uses her quirk on you. Toga loves you so much, she wants to become you. So one day, you finally allow her to give it a try.

-She tells you to close your eyes, and when she gives you permission to open them, you find yourself staring...yourself in the face. And you do not like it 🤢. There’s something so strange about seeing yourself in 3rd person, in all dimensions. Is this how you look to her, all the time? You quickly lose interest in this little charade, looking everywhere but at yourself as Toga prances around doing sexy poses in your body and giggling. However, when she sees your reaction, she stops.

- “Hm? What’s wrong, Y/n?” she asks with a tilt of (your) her head. You glance at yourself, then look away again. “This is so weird. I don’t like looking at myself” you say, grimacing at the slight bounce and jiggle of your body when she walks toward you.

-In Toga’s eyes, you were absolutely adorable. In fact, she was getting a little hot and bothered just taking peeks at herself (you) in the mirror. She’s used to feeling you up for sure, but being you was a whole other experience. Though, she can understand your insecurity. After all, it’s hard to live in a world that constantly tells you your true self is abnormal. She knows from experience.

-So, she comes up to you with a flirty grin on her face...and starts showering you with kisses, in your body! You start to protest, weirded out by the feeling of your own lips on your cheeks but she would not relent. Toga was determined to show you what being loved (by you) felt like from her perspective, with your irresistible “imperfections” and all 💕

Thanks for tuning in! :)

#bnha x chubby reader #chubby reader #x chubby reader #mha x chubby reader #todoroki x chubby reader #toga x chubby reader #denki x chubby reader #bnha x reader #bnha x gn!reader #plus size reader #todoroki x reader #toga x reader #himiko toga x reader #denki x reader #bnha x plus size reader #bnha headcanons

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americaswritings · 3 years

Text

Invisible

Warnings: Angst, Insecurity & Self-doubt, Language

Summary: The reader stays with Tom and his friends during quarantine. To protect her from media and fans, the reader can’t been seen in any social media posts. It leads to her feeling more and more lonely and isolated until she can’t take it anymore.

Words: 2.6k

Pairings: Tom Holland x reader

A/N: I wrote this when Tom hosted the marvel pub quiz, but completely forgot to post it!

ADD YOURSELF TO MY TAGLIST

"That's it. Thank you for joining and taking part in the quiz! I hope you had as much fun as we did and don't forget to post your answers using the hashtag massive marvel pub quiz so we can find your answers easier. Stay safe and healthy. Bye guys!"

You watched as Tom's face disappeared and the live stream ended.

But the excitement that you had felt when you had first heared of the idea of a marvel quiz was gone. Now you just felt empty. And alone.

You knew that you were overreacting, after all Tom and the others were just a few rooms away, but you couldn't help and feel left out. Again.

You weren't invited to join the live stream in the first place so why join them know?

You knew that Tom only wanted to protect you and himself by keeping you out of the public's eye. If they found out that a female in his age was spending the time during quarantine at his house, they would go wild. You could already imagine the headlines that would follow.

After all Tom had exerperienced how far his ‘fans’ and the media would go when a photo of him and Olivia had gone viral.

Only a few blurry images and both Tom and Olivia had been attacked for weeks, even so far that the girl had to make her instagram private, yet the hate comments never stopped.

And Tom knew that he would never risk the chance of you having to read through pages of hate comments of people that didn't even know you. Because if they did, they knew they could never hate you.

You were kind and loving and you cared a little too deeply.

Tom still remembered when you had called him crying, because you didn't feel confident enough to go out after some girls in your class had made it their mission to target all your insecurities and make mean comments whenever you passed them.

He still remembered the anger and hate he felt inside of him when he listened to your sobbing and how the girl's words had gotten to you, to the point you even believed them.

So when you had moved in with him and the boys, he had decided to keep you out of everything that could reveal to the world that you were living with them. You had agreed without a second doubt, because in that moment it seemed the only rational and responsible thing to do.

Now you weren't so sure anymore, because it hurt so much to be invisible every day. You had gotten used to the fact that you could only watch their instagram stories, live streams and tik toks without being able to join them. But what hurt you even more were the little things.

"Hey y/n, could you leave the room for a sec? You are always in the background of the video!"

A second often turned into hours and soon you found yourself retreating to your room more and more to avoid having to leave and get hurt again.

Yesterday you had decided to do a little game night and you felt so carefree that you came to the conclusion that you were being ridiculous and should rather enjoy the time with them instead of obsessing over your feelings. But then you had laughed over something that had been said and Tom has sighed, dropping his phone.

"Great, now I have to delete that, because you were laughing in the background", he stated, clearly frustrated and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.

"I'm sorry", you mumbled but it sounded more like a question than a sincere apologzy, because really, what where you even apologizing for? Harrsion had leaned over to get a better look at Tom's phone. "That would have been a great post, mate!"

You adverted your eyes, starring at the table and analysing the natural pattern of the wood to try and distract yourself from the embarassment and the tears that had filled your eyes. "I know right", Tom sighed again and you crounched down in your seat even more.

"I will do that again now so you have to be completely quiet now y/n, got it?

You wanted to scream at them, because you weren't dumb and yet they were treating you like a child that had misbehaved and was now lectured. But you only gulped and nodded, fearing that if you said something, your voice would break and reveal how hurt you really felt.

While they recorded the story again, you listened to their loud laughter as you fought back the tears.

Eventually you excued yourself, mumbling something about having a headache, but you doubted that they even noticed.

Now you could hear them laugh again and even though Tom's laugh was one of your favorite sounds, it now cut deeper into your heart like a knife.

You were still staring at your phone screen where you saw photos of answer sheets already popping up. You had gotten around 20 answers right, but you didn't feel proud.

When Tom had told you about the marvel quiz you had been beyond excited. Since you could remember you loved the marvel movies. Your rooms had been filled with posters and other merchandise and your friends only rolled their eyes when you suggested to watch a marvel movie during your movie nights.

You had build your knowdlege over the years and loved to challenge Tom, who thought of himself as a big marvel fan as well, regarding who knew more about the marvel cinematic universe.

So when he came up with the idea of a marvel live quiz, you insisted to take part and therefore hear the questions for the first time during the stream so you had the same chance as everyone else.

But as soon as Harry and Harrison had joined the live stream your enthusiasm had faded. They were having so much fun and you were sitting in your room, all on your own. The familiar feeling of loneliness and self doubt had accompained you the rest of the live stream and now that it had ended you just wanted to crawl under the covers and weep into your pillow.

Maybe you were clingy and needy and overthinking again, but you couldn't help the overwhelming sadness and you began to doubt if staying with Tom was a mistake and if your friendship meant more to you than the others.

Maybe you should pack your things tomorrow and tell Tom that you needed to go home. He would understand if you claimed to miss the comfort of being at your home but then again, you would be even more lonely.

Frustrated you threw your phone on the nightstand and quickly changed into your pajamas before crawling into bed.

In the darkness of the room the disappointment felt even more overwhelming and you grabbed onto your pillow for comfort.

A knock made you freeze and your heart started pouding in your chest. You prayed that the person would leave you alone and go away if you pretended to be asleep so you stayed silent.

"Y/n?"

It was Tom's voice.

"We want to watch a movie. Wanna join us?"

You knew that he wouldn't go away until the got an answer so you dismissed your plan and braced yourself to speak.

"No, I am tired, but thanks." You hoped that Tom didn't notice how nervous you sounded and after an agonizing moment of silence you could hear him mutter an "okay" and walk away.

Did you imagine it or did he sound disapppointed? Now feeling guilty too, you covered your face in your hands in frustration.

Why did everything have to go wrong?

And wait...did you still have your make-up on?

You let out a sound of frustration when you realized that you had to get up again to wipe off your make-up. You had applied it because you wanted to feel your best during the quiz you had been so excited for, but now it meant walking all the way to the bathroom.

Which meant leaving your room again.

You slowly opened your door, peeking out to check if the corridors were empty. You proceeded to tiptoe to the bathroom and closed the door behind you while relief flooded you. You really didn't want to meet anyone now, not when you felt like breaking into tears every second.

When you looked into the mirror and began to wash your make-up off, you allowed yourself to let the tears flow. A few sobs escaped your mouth, but the bathroom was far enough from the living room so they wouldn't be able to hear you.

Without the make-up on, you felt a little more relaxed and you couldn't wait to get into bed again.

But when you reached your room without running into anyone on the way, you were more than surprised to see that once you had closed the door and turned around, you weren't alone.

Tom was sitting on your bed, looking up at you when you entered the room.

You could conclude from the frown that covered his face that you looked as horrible as you felt. Your eyes were probably still puffy and red from the crying and your hair was in a messy bun.

"Tom?", you stuttered, too shocked to come up with something that would save you from this conversation. "What are you doing here?", you added, hating how weak your voice sounded.

His frown grew even deeper and he mustered your apperance, hurt visible in his eyes.

"You were so excited for the quiz so when you didn't leave your room I grew worried", he explained while you akwardly stood next to the door, leaving as much space between the two of you as possible.

"Oh that- I just didn't feel good so I decided to sleep early today", you tried to brush it off, but you knew that Tom would not fall for it.

"Why have you been crying?"

His question was acommpanied by a stern gaze and you couldn't help feeling guilty and ashamed.

"I- I wasn't", you stuttered, but it didn't even sound believable to your own ears. Tom raised his eyebrow, but when he saw how uncomfortable you looked his features softened.

"Hey, you can talk to me, you know that right? Whatever it is, you can tell me and we can figure this out together." His voice was so gentle and caring that tears filled your eyes again and you silently cursed yourself for being so emotional.

You didn't want to cry in front of Tom. It would not be the first time and when it had happened he had always managed to make you feel better and put a smile on your face again, but you also knew the shame that would follow afterwards.

You didn't want him to think that you were too sensitive.

But the tears weren't only a result of your hurt, no, anger was building inside of you at his words. "Really Tom, really?", you snapped and he flinched in surprise.

"Are you sure you want me to talk to you? Maybe someone is filming an instagram story and I could be heard in the background so I should just say nothing at all. Or even better, why don't I just leave the room so there is a lesser chance that I could ruin your precious masterpieces by just existing."

Tom's eyes had widened at your outburst and you actually felt bad for a second, but then you remembered the many occasions he had made you feel like you weren't good enough and the anger came back.

"You know what? I think it would be best if I just went home. I am done being treated like an outsider and being blamed for everything I do!"

Tom had jumped up from the bed and was crossing the distance between the two of you with large steps, but you raised your hands before he could come closer to you.

"Y/n I am so sorry", he stumbled over his words, desperately trying to find the right words. "I didn't realize- I never would have..." Frustrated he ran a hand through his hair.

"Listen, I screwed up! I didn't realize that my behaviour- that I was hurting you and I am so sorry! I just wanted to protect you and now I am the one making you feel this way. Fuck, I am so sorry!"

His words seemed geniune and your heart ached to step forward and pull him into a hug, but you knew that you could not forget so easily.

"I didn't think that this was so important to you. Why didn't you say anything?" He was rubbing the back of his head, seemingly tensed.

"I don't care much about not being in the stories Tom. But it really hurt whenever I am send away so you can film together or when I am told to shut up so I can't be heard while you all have fun together”, you explained, trying to keep your vice even.

“I just feel like I am a burden to you and if you don't want to spend time with me that's fine I guess but I would appreciate for you to tell me that so I can stop trying and just go home."

"No, no, no it's not like that I swear!” Tom seemed desperate again, articulating with his hands to underline his words.

“I miss spending time with you, I really do and it was stupid of me to let myself being dragged into this whole instagram thing!

You know I am normally not the person to care much about posting, but I thought now that everyone is stuck at home, I could make my fans happy and distract them from the situation by sharing more of my life. I should have never put them before you and I am truly sorry!” You could see the regret clearly in his eyes as he took in a deep breath.

“Please don't go."

You were biting your lip as you were trying your best to stay calm and not break into tears. You had imagined confronting Tom and letting all your anger and hurt out, but now that he stood in front of you with his eyes full of hurt and regret and his pleading words for you to stay, your anger vanished.

"Are you sure?", you asked him in uncertainty, because you knew you couldn't bare if nothing would change. But Tom desperately nodded. "I am. Tomorrow I am going to post a photo to let my fans now that I am taking a break from social media!"

He looked so determined, so sure, that a warm feeling filled you. "You would do that?"

"Of course! I want to make it up to you and besides I was not lying when I said that I miss spending time with you”, he stated, stepping a little closer to you when you didn’t protest anymore.

“You were so distant the last days and I didn't know what to do, so I thought that I should give you space. Seems like that is the last thing I should have done", he sayed with a sheepish smile covering his face.

"Sorry for being so caught up in myself. I should have said something earlier too", you admitted, a small smile forming on your lips, when you felt the burden fall off your shoulders.

"Hug?", Tom suggested and you didn't have to think twice about it.

When he wrapped his strong arms around you, you realized that going back to your place would have been a mistake. Because at some point your home hadn't been a place anymore. Instead it had become a person and you didn't plan on letting go any time soon.

----

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deceitfuldevil · 3 years

Text

Cosmic Glitch

Baron Helmut Zemo X Reader

Summary: You always believed your soulmate was somewhere out there and that one day you'd see color, but the day you met him you refused to accept it. (soulmate AU! where you can't see color until you first look into your soulmates eyes)

Warnings: use of y/n, swearing I think?, poorly written, clearly from my drafts, headcannon turned imagine, fluff <3

Word Count: 2.2K

You had always been close with Sam ever since you served in the Air Force together, you were always up for any mission or task he needed help with.

After everyone was blipped back you had lost your job, so when Sam called you up asking you to tag along on a mission and promised compensation you couldn't turn him down.

You met Sam and Bucky in the garage and when the infamous Helmut Zemo walked in you locked eyes with him, and a fit a color exploded before you.

Zemo had stopped mid sentence

“I really don’t think I’m—“

Your heart sank deep into your chest

“Oh no” you said barely above a whisper.

“I uh, I’m not useful to this operation” he finished, stumbling over his words. Which you'd learn later on was very uncharacteristic of him.

You just stared at him as he nodded at you, a quiet hello.

Your luck was just impeccable wasn’t it? Zemo? Helmet fucking Zemo? It had to be him? The man that tore apart the avengers and bombed the UN for Christ sake! He was a fucking criminal!

The plane ride to Madripoor was above all else, awkward.

You barely spoke, not even making eye contact with anyone unless directly spoken to.

“You alright Y/n?” Sam asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

You only nodded a small yes, feeling your soulmates prying eyes burning holes into the sight of Sam’s hand on your shoulder.

“Y/n, such a pretty name. I love the way it rolls off the tongue. Y/n.” Zemo said, toying with the sound of your name on his lips. Flustering you, but angering Bucky.

“Cool it Zemo, she’s just a kid.” He warned. Causing Zemo to wave Bucky off with his hand as he took a sip of his warm champagne.

But Bucky was right, you were just a kid. Your soulmate, the Baron for Christ sake, had to be at least 20 some years older than you.

Why did fate set you up with a man that was an adult before you were even born? Didn’t he have a wife before the battle of Sokovia? Maybe this was some kind of cosmic glitch.

I mean, it had to be... right?

Of course you wouldn’t be able to shake the Baron so easily, especially not when you needed a secret cover to pose as in Madripoor

There was only one role for you to play being so new on the “superhero” scene that you were unknown and considering you didn’t look like a single high profile criminal out there.

The Barons fiancé. His schatzi.

Obviously, you couldn’t just show up to a bar in low town in your suit either, so Zemo being ostentatious man that he is came prepared in the worst way possible.

You closed the door to first class and zipped open the black dress bag that Zemo handed you, telling you it would fit well with the part you were due to play.

A very short velvety plum dress sat in front of your color bound eyes. Ridiculously tall heels to match.

It was never something you’d wear out, you’d never have the confidence to wear such a short and expensive dress out to a bar of all places. But the material felt so good and with the new blessing of colored sight almost made you satisfied with outfit presented.

But you walked out fully dressed and maintained your attitude.

“Who am I supposed to be? A high-end hooker?” You quipped, trying to pull the hem of the dress down as far as it would go.

“You, schatzi, will be playing the part of my fiancé.” Zemo said simply. Fixing the cufflink on his left arm.

You stood there awestruck at what he had just said to you. It was hard enough for you to try and ignore that he was your soulmate but now you had to play the part?

“Oh, and you’ll be needing this” he said, digging into his pocket and flicking a ring at you. You caught it, examining it and gasping softly. You had never seen a diamond so big.

You slipped it on your finger, it fit perfectly. Which, made you smile to yourself in a way you knew you shouldn’t have.

He’s a criminal, he’s a psychopath. He’s a criminal, he’s a psychopath. You continually repeated to yourself the whole ride to low town, allowing yourself to think for even a second that just because he was your soulmate meant that he was a good person was not in the books. You simply couldn’t do it.

But as you arrived in the deeper part of Madripoor Zemo informed everyone that they must play their role to a T, because their lives depended on it.

As the car stopped Zemo walked around the side and opened the door for you, grabbing your hand and leading you out. Pressing a gentle kiss to your hand as you stood upright.

You eyes trailed up to his as a blush became evident on your face, when you locked eyes, boom, another shockwave of color screamed into your eyes. You saw the detailing in his fur collar, the bright neon signage all around, the gold detailing in Bucky’s vibraium arm, all of it.

You wanted to see color forever, you hated knowing that if you went without seeing Zemo for too long, the color would fade out.

In ordeal at the bar came and went, the business with Selby is where things got interesting and simultaneously made you nervous.

For some reason it’s almost as if Zemo could sense this because he squeezed your hand tightly and you both sat down on the couch across from Selby.

After everyone else had either been introduced or acknowledged, all that was left was you.

“And who’s this pretty little thing you’ve got yourself here Zemo?” Selby asked, clearing prodding knowing he’d been married before.

“This...” he trailed off, grabbing your left hand to show off the ring “is my beautiful fiancé” he finished

“Oh, got yourself a little trophy wife after the other one kicked the can huh?" She added, staring down the large rock sitting on your finger.

“That’s very sweet of you to think, but this one here is my soulmate. The first woman to ever make me see in color.” Zemo said, his words so sweet honey might as well as been dripping off his tongue. His gaze turned to you, boom, another bright flash of color that made a shiver run down your spine.

“Oh how sweet, but I don’t believe it.” Selby said with a grin, Sam and Bucky tensed up slightly. Siding with Selby because they too didn’t believe Zemo when he referred to you as his soulmate.

“Test me.” You challenged, stupidly if I may add.

“Excuse me?” Selby asked, quirking an eyebrow up at you

“If you don’t believe we’re soulmates, test me. I can name any color you’d like.” You continued, a part of you always looking for a challenge, the other part also wanting to test yourself see if maybe this whole color thing was faulty or one-ended.

“Fine, we’ll start easy. What’s the color of that slutty dress you’ve got on?” She asked, angry that you challenged her

“Easy, the same color as my soulmates turtle neck. A deep purple, plum if you will.” You said carefully caressing the material of Zemo’s shirt

“You could’ve been told that before you arrived, what about my lipstick?” She pressed as she pursed her lips out

“A cheap magenta” you deadpanned, done with her games. She scoffed at you.

“And this couch?” She asked grinning, patting the cushion beside her.

“Trick question. It’s a old a dirty worn out pattern, it has no specific color” you said with a fake smile, Zemo’s hand snaking around your waist as he pulled you a little closer.

The room fell silent just long enough for things to feel awkward before Selby started laughing uncontrollably.

“Well Baron, the universe certainly has picked you a handful! Now what business did you want to do with me again?” And just like that, it was over and you were suddenly running from bounty hunters on the streets.

When Sharon rescued the four of you the ride up to her place in high town was painfully silent. Zemo kept a firm hand on your thigh. Bucky stared off into space ashamed of how easily he fell back into form, and Sam sat on his thoughts wondering if you and Zemo were really soulmates.

No one really spoke to each other, just different conversations with Sharon. After what went down at the Bar and then with Selby... a mood was set, things had changed.

When Zemo stood up and announced he wanted to go join the party and made his way towards the exit you told Bucky you’d keep on eye on him. Sam wanted to protest but at that point you both were already out the door.

You sat from afar watching Zemo on the floor of the club horribly attempting to dance along with the rest of the party-goers. When you laughed a little to yourself he looked up at you, boom, that beautiful shock of color again. It never got old.

But you quickly averted your eyes and disappeared from his gaze as you went to the bar for a drink. When the bartender slid your drink over suddenly Zemo was at your side announcing he’d pay for it.

Zemo started to snake his hand around your waist once more but this time you smacked his hand away

“We’re not playing house anymore, Baron.” You told him, using his formal title.

“But you see what I see, do you not?” He asked, tentatively reaching for your hand.

“See what?” You asked, avoiding his burning gaze. You knew damn well what he was taking about but refused to admit to even yourself. He was a horrible man, a criminal, a rich psychopath! It ached your heart that someone with such a shitty past was who you were meant to be with for the rest of your life.

“The beautiful colors. I see your bright eyes, your sleek hair, those sweet pink lips. Now color is all around me too, I can see the colors of the club. I see the blue radiating off that light, the red in this drink you ordered, the green that lady’s hair! You love opened my eyes, Y/n. With you, I can see.” Zemo pressed on, smiling as he looked in awe at all the colors around him. He placed his hand gently over yours. You flinched but didn’t move away from his touch

“But this has to be wrong. I can’t be the person for you. You had a wife and kids right? Didn’t they bring any color into your life?” You asked, feeling a warm heat rise to your cheeks from the small contact you two were now sharing

“I loved my wife and son sure, but they were always grey to me. Remember that I’m a Baron, when you’re royalty your marriage options aren’t as wide as the universe has set for you.” He pointed out, taking your hand and slowly rubbing your knuckles.

“Still surely this has to be some kind of universal glitch! I mean you’re what? 20 some years older than me? What about all the horrible shit you’ve done? You’re a criminal! I was made to be a hero! We don’t mix, let alone fall in love!” You babbled on

“Listen, y/n. I am not proud of my past, I was a grief stricken man who had just lost his wife and child along with his entire country. I was only doing what I believed to be right at the moment, is that not what you try to do as well?” He asked, trying to find similarities between the two of you. Some common ground.

“Zemo I—“ you started, turning to face him and looking into his hazel brown eyes again and feeling that boom of color that would never get old, but did make you lose your train of thought.

“Zemo I’m scared” you finished off, your planned statement turning into a confession. You didn’t take your eyes off his this time as he stared back down at you. Bring his free hand to your cheek he smiled softly.

“I’m scared too, schatzi. But the feeling you give me makes me feel like everything is going to be alright. Stay with me, ride this out and see where it goes. I promise I’ll make it worth your while. Designer clothes, expensive jewelry, sport cars, you name it and I’ll buy it for you. I’ll fly you any place you’ve ever wanted to go, show you every sight you’ll ever need to see.” He tools breathe, a single tear slipping down his face.

“Please, let’s give this a shot.” He ended. Nine years with losing your wife, child, country, and being imprisoned for a few years really changed a man; and made him that much more desperate for someone like you, his soulmate, to stay.

And stay you did. The first year was rocky wrapping things up with the super soldiers on the loose and clearing Zemo’s name in the eyes of the Power Broker and the UN. Based on his efforts to take down the last of the super soldiers and good words from Sam and Bucky his sentence was reduced to one year under house arrest, which made for a great way to get to know each other better.

The years after that were far beyond smooth sailing, they were dare you even say perfect. You traveled the world with Zemo, lived the most lavish life, saw the most amazing things.

All in color.

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ronanwolff · 3 years

Text

Loki, god of Mischief

Content Warning- 18+ smut, swearing, submissive Loki, oral(f), fluff

Summary: Short story. Enemies to lovers arc- You’ve always wanted to prove that you were not just some stray Frigga took in as a child and now, your chance has come. You’ve been given a mission, one that will prove you are the powerful witch you claim to be, but it seems there is someone to disrupt the plan, and we know how much he loves to cause mischief.

Months. I had gone over the plan and trained for months, and it had all been for nothing because of him. I strode through the halls with angry purpose as I thought of all the ways I would make him suffer, and when I heard his voice—that familiar chuckle, the anger in me morphed into fury. I marched up to him and removed the rein on my anger as I pushed him. Loki’s green eyes twinkled with amusement as he regarded me, and I could almost hear the words that were about to leave his parted lips.

Why so upset little princess?

And so, I stopped him. I made sure I didn’t hear those words that would soften me, those words that would leave my mouth dry and leave other parts of me wet to my annoyance and denial.

“You traitorous bastard!” I snapped at him. “Blithering idiot.” My chest heaved underneath my armour as I tried to get my breath out. “That was my mission and you ruined it. My chance to prove my worth to Odin and Frigga.” I continued, and I felt the magic brewing in me and wanting to be let out. My skin bristled and the rage within me began to tear at the well-kept seams.

“It sounds like you’re angry with me, but you know me, I like causing mischief…dare I say you need some of it.” He said to me in a low tone as he watched me, sensing just how tense I was. He leaned forward and I caught his eyes briefly fall below my nose and land on my lips. I inwardly cursed whoever among the gods had decided to burden me with the man who stood proudly before me. It had to be a curse because no matter what he did, my true feelings would never change. I tried to hide the bobbing of my throat as I swallowed and without thinking, I raised my hand and struck him across the face. I panted again and stepped back, awaiting his reaction but I was surprised when Loki turned his face to me with a mischievous smile. It was that smile that was all knowing, especially towards my feelings. It’s like he knew how he made me feel. His jaw tensed as he moved closer. “Did that make you feel good?”

“Go to Hel Loki” I hissed as I begun to walk away, he grabbed my arm and suddenly his lips were on mine. I was ashamed to admit that I had been dreaming of this moment for a while and now that it had become a reality, it did not disappoint. I felt the flush in my skin and the feeling of loosening in my limbs. Every bit of tension seeped away as his lips melded into mine. Rage turned into passion and unbridled emotion seemed to escape from me. It was only when I moaned that I remembered where I was and what I was doing. I pulled back sharply and slapped him again, but once again it didn’t have the desired affect because he only chuckled at me and gave me that same smile before pulling me closer. His eyes seemingly glowed underneath the light of the fires around us and mine glowed back in response. A light blue glow that I saw in his own eyes.

“I want you.” I finally breathed in a tone that had never escaped my lips. It was breathy and needy, and the vulnerability seemed to take him aback; it took me by surprise, and yet, he drew a breath and looked at me intently. His hand moved from my arm to my face.

“I’m yours.”

I didn’t let him say anymore, I only crashed my lips back into his, tasting the sweetness of the words he had just said. In fact, I had tasted no sweeter fruit than that of his lips and I knew in the moment his hands held my face and pulled me closer to him, I would want no other thing but him. We moved until my back was against the pillar and I grunted as the impact took my breath away. I had forgotten the injuries I had sustained, and I was sure that bruises would have started to mark my skin. “Are you alright?” Loki asked with concern. His kisses had stolen my breath and I could only nod at him. He stared at me, his eyes studying every inch of exposed skin on my body, but I lifted his chin and made him look at me.

“I’m fine, just kiss me.” I ordered and the grin returned to his face. That beautiful face. Loki Laufeyson, god of mischief was the most beautiful god I had ever seen.

“Yes. Always yes.” He panted as he returned to my lips. His hands surveyed my body, feeling and tracing every curve as he wrapped my legs around his hips. I didn’t know what to do with my own hands, but they seemed to take on a mind of their own as they worked their way through the dark mirth of his hair. My moan echoed in the halls around us and so did his hiss as he inhaled my scent. His face was buried in my neck, nipping at my skin painfully but it was fuelling me until a loud clang sounded around us. The gates.

“LOKI!”

Thor’s booming voice was unmistakable. I had no doubt he had questions for his brother over the failed mission or me. I hoped it was the former. I couldn’t stand before the All father and the council, not like this.

“Gods,” I sighed, trying to ignore the burning heat of my body but it would not dissipate. I wanted more of him, and I could tell he felt the same away as he quietly cursed. He turned his body towards the voice, but I held him close to me. “No. I’m not done with you yet Loki Laufeyson.” I pictured our destination and within a few seconds we were there. My chambers. I ignored the feeling of strain through my body at the use of my magic and I looked at the man who stood before me and for a moment, I didn’t know what to do or say.

“Tell me what you want.” He whispered and like that, a bolt of Odin’s lightning seemingly hit me. I had heard things about what he liked when it came to being intimate, but I had never thought it was true. He had always seemed so…sure, a master of control and yet here he was, staring at me like I was the brightest star in the sky, and he was waiting for me.

“Take off your clothes.”

He gave an amused huff at my command, but he obeyed, unclipping the daggers slowly from his waist before moving on to his gauntlets, and he was purposeful and slow in the movements of his long fingers. I swallowed as the gauntlets fell to the floor, leaving his hands and forearms bare and he then moved to his chest, unclipping the fastening of the leather of his armour and I gasped as he peeled it off his body and exposed his chest.

“Do you want me to continue?” He asked in that low husky tone that made me forget who I was and where I was. I shook my head after a moment and tried to find my words.

“Kneel.” Was all I said. It was the first word that came to me because it was the first word that returned to my mind, and it was also the first word he had said to me when we first met. I remembered it clearly as he held the sceptre under my chin as he made me look at him. He smirked as if he too was reminded of that exact moment. He then slowly sank to his knees, keeping his eyes on me as he straightened his back and laid his hands flat on his covered thighs. His muscles flexed as he positioned himself.

I didn’t need words to know what he was doing. He was submitting to me. Me, who was less than him, lower than him. I had grown up in Asgard knowing my place until Loki came along and made me question everything, I thought I knew. I was not a god and yet, here he was treating me like I was. I did the same as him. I slowly moved my fingers over my gauntlets, undoing them and then I moved to the protective armour on my chest. Once that was over with, I was left only in my corset and undergarments. I shook away that all familiar feeling of my power being loosed as the conduit of my armour fell away— something Frigga had constructed for me, and while I would be eternally thankful to her for such a creation, it was a breath of relief when my power was free to snake and coil within me.

Before I could reach behind, there was a spark of green in the corner of my eye and then hands that touched the bare skin of my shoulders and trailed their way to the ties of my corset. Loki remained still in front of me, but there was a playful smile on his lips. I gasped at the phantom touch as he unwound the ties whilst placing kisses on my skin and soon enough, I was bare in front of him, and I had never felt more glorious. The hunger in his eyes turned the usual green of his irises to almost black as he bit his bottom lip. I had never seen someone filled with wanting and so I took cautious steps until I was close enough to feel his breath on my skin. I could feel his eyes like fingers trailing up my body until he reached my eyes, and he was almost panting. His eyes were big and filled with need as he waited on my next command and a part of me loved seeing him hang onto my every word and instruction.

“Kiss me.” I finally said and I expected a quick and fast approach, but he surprised me. He moved slowly towards me, and he kept his eyes on mine as he kissed the skin of my stomach, and the feeling almost broke me. It seemed he had inherited his adoptive father’s abilities because I could have sworn, I felt lightning pass through my body. My head fell back, and I let out a breathless gasp as he continued his relentless assault of my lower body, placing kisses everywhere but that part of me that craved it the most. I let my legs fall open slightly to give him a hint, but he didn’t oblige me. “Please.” I gasped as I clutched his hair.

“You have to tell me exactly what you want.”

I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. I had never been nervous around men, and yet, he almost brought me to my knees. His eyes caught the shaking of my hands and he brought them to his lips, kissing away the tremble of them.

“I want you to kiss me…there.” I told him with more confidence, and he thankfully granted me my wish as he put his lips to the core of me. My knees buckled with every flick of his tongue and my hands held his own which he rested on my waist. I tried to bite back my moan, but when he moved his hand to cup my breast, I failed, gasping loudly. I was about to fall off the cliff of euphoria when he pulled away. I looked down at him. “Don’t stop.” I told him and he chuckled in response. His eye twinkled as he winked at me.

“I want to savour every moment of this, princess. I want when you moan, for all the nine realms to hear you praise my name.”

“You are so vain.” I said breathlessly, but I couldn’t help the smile that appeared on my face as I looked down at him. He was beautiful. I touched his face, memorising the angles of his jaw and the feel of his black hair. The green of his eyes. “That is what you like is it not? Seeing a god on his knees for you. Worshipping at the temple that is your body. Admit it, you like having control just as much as I like relinquishing it.” He whispered before he kissed me again. I whimpered under his lips. “You are my only god, the only one I will go to my knees for. Do you understand?”

I nodded absentmindedly and suddenly I was in his arms, but not for long because he laid me gently on the bed. He trailed kisses up the skin of my leg, biting when he could and his eyes remained solely on me, seemingly also memorising my every reaction. His normally neat black hair was now frazzled from my hands. I pulled his face to mine impatiently and kissed him while my hand wondered his lean body. I made quick work of his trousers pushing them halfway and my hands fondled the skin of his backside whilst his lips marked every bit of skin that surrounded my chest. I mumbled my approval as my body settled into his touch. He pulled away from me and I had to resist the urge to groan in impatience, but from the way he looked at me, with his green eyes so earnest and sincere. The gaze made me pause.

“You don’t have to prove your worth to me.”

The words hit me in a way that almost surpassed what he had been doing to me thus far. He used his fingers to caress my lips before kissing me again and I didn’t realise there were tears in my eyes until I felt them spill over my skin and without breaking the connection of his lips to mine, he wiped the tears away.

“I want you. I need you.” I panted and he swallowed my words with a deep kiss before biting my lip and pulling it. My eyes caught a brief glimpse of what lay in wait for me between his legs and I took a sharp breath in. I had seen all manner of men, but none were compared to the god before me and as my eyes dropped back down again, I joked to myself. I guess he is part giant

Loki smiled as he followed my eyeline and the smile morphed into a small laugh, it was almost as if he had read my mind. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I turned away from him, but he brought my face back and leaned forward, except it wasn’t to kiss me. I felt his breath tickle the skin of my ear, a feeling which sent a shiver through my naked body. “I will be gentle, I promise.”

I pulled him towards me and knowing what I wanted, he granted my request as he pushed into me, gently. My head lulled back as I got used to him. The feeling was alien at first but as I started to move against him, I began to crave more of him. He moved over me, and I relished every feeling and movement. I had watched him train several times, even fought him, and he was incredibly skilled; skills which went beyond combat it seemed. Every movement he made was poised and graceful, purposeful, and steering. It was almost like a dance, his body firm and yet fluid beneath the feel of my hands. He knew when to take the lead and when to step back. His lips never left mine or my skin and his hands held me, grabbed me, and soothed me.

It’s like I wasn’t in control of my body when I turned him over so that I was on top of him. I gave him a smile as I put his hands behind his head and kissed him. I wanted to worship him just as he worshipped me, he deserved venerate adoration. I slowly sank onto him and just remained still even as he fumbled for movement. It only took for me to shake my head and he stilled underneath me. I was in control and the feeling of it was magnificent. As I gave him a nod, he thrust into me and groaned in pleasure, and I heard the slightest whisper of my name. I let go of his hands, but before he could move, I replaced my hands with my magic, binding his wrists above him with blue energy. I rested my hands on his chest and closed my eyes, enjoying the combined feeling of him inside me, and the feeling of my unrestrained power, which burst forth from me in gratitude for having released it—having used it fully even if it was for decadent purposes. I could feel his eyes on me, watching me please myself and I could sense the smile of satisfaction.

“I need to touch you.” He said hoarsely and I only nodded, loosening my magic and he reacted immediately, sitting up and holding me closer to him. I gasped at the difference in feeling, and the presence of his hand on my throat. He kissed me deeply, using his teeth on the sensitive skin of my neck and shoulder. I circled my hands around his neck and then made my way to his back, while his hand reached between my legs. I choked at the intensity of the feeling and for a moment, I just looked at him. I loved this man. I wouldn’t be able to say those words out loud, but I loved him despite his flaws and deception and his affinity to push me towards murderous tendencies, I had come to know the man behind the god, the lost and misplaced boy who just wanted to belong to something...or someone. I wanted that too, and as he carried on moving again, I could swear I was about explode into stars.

“Loki.” I gasped as I finally fell off that cliff. I dragged my nails across his skin causing him to hiss, but he brought my lips to his again. I felt endless, not just stars, but a whole universe of galaxies and realms. When sensation returned to me, I could still feel him moving within me, building up to his own finish. I felt guilty for not doing more than planting lazy kisses on the skin of his face, but as I gave into the feeling of sensitivity where he continued to move, I moaned his name once more. He grunted as he held me close to him. His teeth bit into the skin of my shoulder once more as he gasped, shielding my body before giving me back the breath I had lost.

I watched him as he slept, he seemed more at peace with his eyes closed and the small rise and fall of his chest. He seemed more vulnerable. I pushed a strand of his hair away and smiled at him before controlling myself.

He’s a god, a prince, a son of Odin and you’re…nothing. A simple warrior. I thought as I got up gently, trying not to wake him up. I quickly got dressed, fastening my gauntlets and guards before looking at him once more. I moved closer to him and kissed him softly once.

“I love you.” I whispered, before leaving the room.

#loki #loki layfeyson x reader #loki fanfic #loki fandom #god of mischief #loki imagine #loki smut #loki fluff #loki series #marvel #loki of asgard

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 2 years

Text

Guilt in Jealousy

Summary: Just some hurt/comfort stuff with Pink Addison, who still feels terrible about the whole ordeal with Spamton and Lightner!Reader (who they're romantically involved with) trying to help them with their guilt once Reader realizes what's happening.

........

The long descent into the Dark World was something you'd probably never get used to.

No matter how many times you've done this, your stomach always flips on itself as you fell down, down, down into the darkness. Although you did get accustomed to your normal clothes changing into an outfit more suitable for your travels and type of combat.

Yet you didn't deem it necessary for combat anymore, as you weren't looking to pick any fights. At least not today. You'll skip the sparring matches in the Party Dojo since you had a different mission in mind.

Once you landed on your feet, you didn't waste any more time as you rushed forward into Castle Town. It was bigger and livelier than ever, now with the combined residents of not one but two Dark Worlds.

Despite their homes and businesses being ripped away so abruptly, the Cyber Darkners adjusted to their circumstances fast. It was all thanks to you, Kris, and the others for recruiting them here, not wanting to repeat the mistake of leaving Card World's residents alone after sealing the fountain.

You wandered around, eager to find your partner: Pink Addison. Surely that charismatic salesman was bound to be somewhere, likely looking for you, too.

Though..seeing their tea shop closed was the first sign that something was amiss.

When you last came here to visit the Addisons' residence for the first time, Pink wasn't as "lovey-dovey" as they normally were with you. They just gave you a kiss as usual, but didn't talk to you much, which was concerning. Bringing that up only made them dismiss it as nerves over helping Swatch in the Color Café selling teas, but you knew it wasn't like them to be nervous--especially when they've been selling this product for as long as they've existed.

Maybe it was just the rarity of Darkners falling in love with Lightners that still intimidated them. It wasn't a bad thing; no laws nor prophecies have such relationships written as forbidden. But a few Darkners still had the habit of treating your kind like untouchable gods, not speaking unless spoken to and being fearful of abandonment.

Addisons especially felt this way considering the products they sold were made to appeal to Lightners' online interests. Their whole existence revolved around approval from Lightners.

To deviate from that would, in their eyes, stop the clicks.

You reassured Pink they didn't have to worry about that with you, but even now they still struggled to stop putting you on a pedestal. They always kept talks with you short and sweet, all smiles as if nothing's wrong. And they'd always shower you with gifts. It's their best form of affection, of course, though you realized they're giving you everything except their honest feelings. And that's what worries you.

Their acts became more obvious ever since you encountered them and the other Addisons at the trash dump of Cyber City, speaking of an old ex-friend. None of them even showed you their face, only staring at the wall with their backs turned.

At the time you didn't question it as you assumed they just felt ashamed of their actions towards him. You couldn't blame them. You wouldn't wanna look anyone in the eye either. So you didn't bring it up around Pink until later on, when the Addisons arrived to Castle Town.

You told them that their friend is okay, comfortably living as a part of Kris' armor. They understood and were able to move on, going back to their usual advertising business.

Except for one, unfortunately: The one you love most.

Ever since that talk, Pink seemed more determined than ever to hide their guilt, always making some excuse and avoiding the subject at all costs.

Well, you weren't going to take that anymore. You wanted to come to an understanding before this divided the relationship further. You're certain even Pink can see that, but is scared to say anything for some reason.

First, you had to actually find them.

Checking the café, you saw it was bustling with mainly Cyber residents. Swatchlings were sweeping the floors as Rabbicks sat on their shoulders collecting lint, and the Tasques and Maice were getting along quite well, meowing and squeaking idly.

Alas, there was no sign of your partner. But you didn't give up yet as you walked up to the counter. "Hey, Swatch. You got a second?"

"Welcome back, young master." The head butler finished cleaning a glass, smiling at you in greeting. "How may I help you?"

"Have you seen Pink around lately?"

"Strangely, I have not seen them all day. They were suppose to bring me tea boxes when we opened, but I have yet to receive any. We're running quite low on our popular bran-"

You were both rudely interrupted by a Werewerewire storming up to the counter, slamming their fists on the surface as they buzzed with impatience. You flinched slightly, but didn't dare call them out on their behavior, knowing their temperament.

Somehow Swatch understood their request, only to regretfully nod. "I do apologize, but we are currently out of Werewire Tea. Could I interest you in a substi....oh, they're leaving." The electrical creature left the café, annoyed.

"Werewire Tea?" You tilted your head.

"It's their favorite." Swatch shifted their gaze back to you. "Tastes like energy drinks according to Pink. But back to our discussion...it is unusual for them not to show up, especially when this is their livelihood. Perhaps they're not feeling up to par?"

"That's what I'm worried about. They're acting emotionally distant, too, and...I feel like something from their past is still haunting them."

"Hm, well whatever it is..I have faith you two will sort it out. I would check their place of residence next. I'm not in dire need of tea, so you can tell Pink not to worry about it today."

"Alrighty, I will." You smiled at Swatch. "Thanks."

"Of course, young master. Take care."

Heeding their advice, you decided to check the Addisons' shared home. It was in one of the neighborhoods deeper within the town, resembling a large storefront with electronic ads all over it. With all the flashing lights it was impossible to miss.

The passcode to enter was one that only Addison-related Darkners were meant to know, but Pink was nice enough to give it to you. So you inputted the numbers 1997 and invited yourself inside upon hearing the door unlock.

"Hello?" You called out, wondering if anyone else was home, though the silence made you worried Pink wasn't here.

You ventured further anyway and eventually came across their room. All of the Addisons had color-coded doors, with your partner's having hearts etched into the pink painted wood.

The second you raised a hand to knock, the door swung open and you saw your beloved Addison in their usual suit and lime green pants. Though you noticed their suit was unbuttoned and looked horribly wrinkled, not to mention their ponytail wasnt up at all, leaving their hair unkempt.

Usually they obsessed over looking their best, so something was clearly wrong.

"I-I'm so sorry! I must've overslept! Oh jeez oh man I need to get these teas to Swatch ASAP-!" They rambled a mile a minute as they scrambled to steady the boxes in their hands, only to pause as they felt two hands on their shoulders.

"Pink, it's me. Calm down."

It took them a moment to realize you weren't an Addison, and they sighed tiredly, their shoulders relaxing a little. "O-Oh..hey, sweetheart. Wanna help me get these teas to-?"

"Swatch doesn't need them today. I just wanna talk to you."

Despite Pink's eyes being closed, you could see they were struggling to keep them shut--a sign of great stress. "Talk? What's....there to talk about? Except the sweet deals I'm gonna make today??"

"How about we talk..about the fact you've been avoiding me and not being honest about your feelings? Especially about that day?"

"...right..I...I know and I'm sorry, but I can make it up to you! W-With a free sample of my new and improved-!"

"Pink, I'm not drinking any more of your teas until you tell me what's wrong."

A sharp gasp escaped them as their eyes snapped open in shock. A box unconsciously slipped out of their grasp, but you caught it and took the rest from their hands. The last thing they needed was to stress over dropped tea boxes.

As much as you hated to say that, you had no choice. It was the only way they'll listen to you.

"Hun..look at yourself. You look exhausted and anxious. Don't tell me it's because of work because we both know that's not it at all. I wanna know the truth. You're not fooling me again."

After a few moments, they wordlessly nodded and went back into their room. You shut the door behind you and set the tea boxes on one of the chairs, though you heard a sniffle.

"O-Okay..okay..keep it together, Pink.."

You looked back to see them curled up on their bed, covering their face with their hands. Now their shoulders were trembling with small whimpers, and they shrank away from you as they sensed you sitting beside them.

"I-I'm sorry..I'm so sorry..I shouldn't be like this at all. N-Not in front of a beautiful Light neR like yourself." Their voice was glitching slightly, though not to the degree of Spamton's. But they were still very stressed out.

"Hey, it's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of." You gently pulled their hands away from their face, your heart breaking upon seeing the tears. Some slid onto their nose and dripped off the tip of it, splattering onto their pants. Their messy bangs did little to hide their eyes--voids with tiny pink lights that shimmered with those same tears.

Only now you can see just what a mess they were behind closed doors. It made you wish you've been more persistent in the past, but at least now you were.

"Will you hate me if I told you the truth..about him?"

"No, never." Cupping one side of their face with your hand, you made sure they knew your response was genuine. "Please talk to me."

"Okay...to be honest..It..wasn't just all of us who decided to stop hanging out with him. It was me. I made that call." They confessed, squeezing their eyes shut. "I-I told him "you left us in the dust", "you don't need us", "you'll find better friends." But when Blue..s-said he went missing a month later, I thought I screwed up. I thought he died, [y/n]! I thought that for years. I feel like I played a part in destroying his life. It was my fault..my stupidity and jealousy that ruined everything for him!! I hurt him so much and...and I can NEVER take any of it back!! I-I hurt him, lied to you..a-and...god why do I keep doing stupid things to people I care about?!!" They began to yell and tremble.

Seeing them at their breaking point, you brought them into a hug. And that's all it took as they buried their face into your chest. Their cries were quiet and muffled against you, but it wasn't any less heartbreaking to hear.

"It's alright..shhh..let it all out." You comforted, running a hand through their hair.

It didn't take them long to break down, and to see them reduced to this much of an emotional wreck ached your SOUL. But now you understood why they wanted to hide this side of themselves for this long. They didn't want you to see them as anything more than a salesman with romantic marketing strategies.

"I-I'm sorry...I'm such an idiot. H-Had I known...I never..I never would'a-"

"Darling, it wasn't your fault that his life went downhill. Nobody could've known that was gonna happen to him. You didn't make his business fail. So it's not your fault at all."

"That doesn't..ch-change the fact we weren't there for him when he needed us most. Why did I have to get so jealous? Why me? I-I feel awful and sick.."

"Jealousy isn't good, yes..but it's more common than you think. It can get the best of many people, even me." You rubbed their back. "What matters is how you feel after it blows over. Either it consumes you and turns you into someone hateful, or you feel guilty about it and realize it's wrong..like you are now."

"S-So..I'm not awful?" They mumbled into your chest, still sobbing.

"No, and you're certainly not an idiot."

You could feel Pink relax slightly as they hugged your waist, nuzzling into you once they realized you're not angry at them. At this point, you two were just cuddling on the bed together with them on top of you.

As you looked at them, you could only imagine how long they must've been waiting for someone to come down here and tell them that.

It's what they deserved to hear. They helped heal your physical wounds from fights when you first met them in the city, flustering you with flirtatious remarks that made your days brighter. Now you were returning the favor by being a shoulder--or chest in this case--for them to cry on, helping them heal their emotional wounds from an inner struggle they've tried burying under smiles and funny advertisements.

For a few minutes no words were exchanged until they slowly started calming down. "I'm..sorry for avoiding you. I just..didn't think you'd love me anymore after hearing the truth. That I made such a stupid, silly mistake."

"I know you were afraid, but... I forgive you and still love you. Absolutely nothing in this Dark World will ever stop me from loving you, hun."

"..h-hah..usually I'm the one with the cheesy romantic lines." They looked up at you with their eyes closed. "Thank you for listening..I-I promise I won't let this whole thing drag me down again. And...sorry I'm such a mess. You have your own worries and shouldn't have to see me like-"

But you shut them up with a kiss on the lips, which made them blush as you pulled away and smiled. "Pink, relationships are a two-way street. I care about your feelings just as much as you care about mine. We're equals now, remember that."

They nodded and snuggled up to you. "I'll try...you mind if we stayed like this for a while? I feel like I owe you TLC big time." They planted a soft kiss on your neck.

"I'm fine with that." You chuckled, relieved that they opened up to you and finally started treating you like a partner.

You couldn't erase all of their guilt, but you'll help them cope with it better.

For now though you'll just enjoy this moment.

#deltarune x reader #deltarune addison x reader #addison x reader #pink addison x reader #hurt/comfort #angst

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writingindulgence · 3 years

Text

Illumi x F.Reader - Expectation

Pairing: Illumi x Female Reader

Story tags: Arranged marriage, typical Zoldyck behaviour, angst-ish, heavy manipulation, ILLUMI, unhealthy one-sided dependence : ) my guy just toxic

3,200+ words and why? I don’t even like the dude. Also, two points of view.

The sound of fancy porcelain tea cups clinking against the glass table is soothing, along with the warm rays shining on your face. Times like these are what you are thankful for. The smell of purposely picked flowers, arranged to please the eyes. Not the stench of trash dumped for the sole convenience of other countries. Colourful butterflies and bees, instead of flies and disease ridden rats. A home cooked meal ready for your consumption rather than scraps of rotting food that you more often than not nearly died for.

Kukuroo mountain is infinitely more beautiful compared to Meteor City.

“(Y/n) dear, it’s unbecoming of you to make noise with your tableware,” a powerful feminine voice chastates your mistake. The woman sitting opposite you is none other than Kikyo Zoldyck. Or as she forces you to call her, mother.

Your heart flutters in relief, an apologetic expression weaving onto your face. She must be in an agreeable mood since her fan hasn’t struck your hand. Sometimes you are let off with a warning if she spots a blunder on your part. Sometimes, she resorts to physical punishment. It always depends on whether or not a family member said anything to ruin her day. In fact, any matter concerning Killua will set her off in a positive or negative direction.

Just like Illumi whenever you bring up his younger brother.

“I apologise mother, I’m too excited because Illumi is returning,” you proceed to take a sip and this time around, gently settle the tea cup down.

A content hum comes from her direction, her visor flashing for a split second. “Oh (Y/n), you’ll make such a good wife one day.” She picks up a fork gracefully and stabs it into the cake she asked for from the family cook.

The compliment ignites a multitude of feelings in your chest. It spreads out, only one thought in your mind.

How immensely grateful and happy you are to hear it.

Many of your friends from when you were young, starved to death. Some were beaten up by other desperate residents. Others lost their will to fight, a state you threaded on a magnitude of times.

Being taken away by the mafia one day was what gave you back the spark, a life in the city no more out of your reach. Until you figured out what type of work they wanted to sell you and other kids for. Stories from the older girls back in Meteor City came rushing back.

Your bloodlust and instinct to survive are what happened to change your life for the better. Out of all the line-up of children, you were selected by the Zoldycks. Instead of being the pet of some old pervert, you found a home within the assassin family.

There were many times when you felt like giving up. When the training you went through was worse than simply dying. However, you promised yourself to never throw away the chance you received all those years back.

You were indebted to the Zoldycks.

Hearing words of encouragement from one of the people you looked up to the most brought tears to your eyes. You wiped them away with your thumb.

Mother is a role model to you. It helped when you found out that she originates from Meteor City too. In a sense, it is easier to place yourself in her shoes and strive to achieve what she did. Being an amazing assassin, wife and mother.

A sudden scraping of a chair brought you back to the presence, startling you into a defensive pose. The knife under your sundress clasped in your hand.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Kalluto coming out from behind the bushes, his paper fan also ready for action.

“My Kil, what is he doing?! Quick, we have to stop him. Kalluto go call for Milluki right now!,” she orders shrilly before running into the mansion.

Without hesitation, you rush after her. It is expected of you. A nagging feeling in the back of your head also foreshadows that whatever is going on, it will have dire consequences if not stopped.

Killua is in the foyer, being kept idle by the servants. But not for long. You can see the irritation growing on his face, his muscles tensed.

You’ve known Killua since he was a baby, having been inducted as a future family member when mother was pregnant with him. There’s no doubt that if something wasn’t done, it would lead to a messy aftermath.

A few seconds after you make it inside, Milluki shows up and the servants are all dismissed.

“Kil, my little Kil, what’s wrong? Why did I hear that you’re leaving to take the Hunter’s Exam?,” mother’s voice is aghast, the idea of her favourite child abandoning the nest filling her with pain.

You too are taken aback at the news, a protective sensation coursing through you. Your fingers flex at your side.

“It’s boring here and I heard that the Exam is difficult so I’m going to test my skill,” he shrugs her worry off and spins his skateboard. Your heart begins to pound uncontrollably.

Hearing the disrespect, Milluki steps up and lashes out at Killua. “You brat, what’s with that arrogant attitude you-,”

“Stop that!,” mother’s voice sharply cuts him down.

She begins pleading with Killua to stay, her voice cracking multiple times. It pains you to watch someone you respect growing so desperate.

Killua is too young to understand what he’s putting the ones around him through. Of course, a rebellious phase is healthy-

A prickly discomfort surges through your head and you clutch it. Your unexpected movement grabs everyone’s attention. You try to brush it off, not wishing to be a burden.

It isn’t expected of you to be one.

“Killua, you should stay here. The world is a dangerous place,” your words try to reach him. “Illumi is coming home today, why don’t we-”,

“I don’t want him around! Just leave me alone,” he angrily interrupts. The air grows heavy. Heavier than it’s been since the beginning.

Mother gasps in shock at his behaviour since Killua never really yells at you. Yes, he gets annoyed as much as any other kid but when he shouts, he doesn’t really mean it.

It’s expected of you to coerce him into calming down.

“You’ve changed during the past few weeks (Y/n), after Illumi came back before leaving again. Anyway, I will kill you all if you try to stop me,” Killua promises in a cold voice, his blue eyes a piercing ice.

This rouses an onslaught of insults from Milluki and a mix of agony and happiness from mother.

However, you’re currently stuck in your own mind, reflecting on Killua’s comment. It is true that during the past three weeks you doted on him more than ever before. Usually you try to split your attention between him and Kalluto when you have free time. What changed?

Nothing should have changed, Killua is the priority of the family.

A high-pitched scream echoes around the foyer and your clouded head awakens. The sight in front of you freezes your blood and it takes immense strength not to bite your tongue.

Mother is kneeling down on the ground, her hands covering her bloody face. Before you can take a step, Milluki rages and charges at Killua. The young boy bounces back and proceeds to plunge the knife into his older brother. Milluki curses and grabs his wound.

On impulse, your hand is already equipped with a knife and you’re ready to protect yourself as well as mother Killua.

Killua mistakes your movements as an attack and strikes his own knife across your arm. A long gash appears on your skin, the blood seeping out moments later. You take in the pain as punishment. Punishment for letting it get this far and failing.

You’re a failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.Failure.

Taking the chance to escape, he kicks his skateboard up and runs out.

And you were helpless to stop him.

It’s been a while since Illumi has been back home on Kukuroo mountain, his previous mission requiring him to travel across multiple locations. The target was a cautious person so they moved from place to place, leaving lousy decoys. That did not impede Illumi at all, it was simply an inconvenience at worst.

After all, nervous-wrecks are the ones who put their emotions out on display. They are the first to slip up due to the fact that they care about others.

Which is concerning because Killua is at a stage where he is showing his rebellious streak more often. It is crucial that he can snuff it out before his dear brother falls further down the slope of idiotic fantasies . In which case, it is a slight relief that (Y/n) is here. She tries to keep Killua in check in a subtle way instead of hanging over his shoulder or perpetuating his moody behaviour.

Though the last time he visited there were hints of her growing soft and losing her devotion of raising Killua to be the next head of the family. He is ashamed to confess that it irked him to some degree. It’s expected of her to put her desires down for what he wants. And he wants Killua to be the next head.

Even so, he thought that he dealt with this the last time.

However, imagine the surprise he felt when his mother came wailing to him, begging him to follow her little Kil to the Hunter’s Exam. To think that instead of a joyful family reunion, the news of his stray younger brother reached his ears before anything else.

That won’t do.

Currently, it’s close to midnight which is the time (Y/n) comes to his room to say goodnight. Why she even bothers is beyond him. The effort of keeping up with formalities could be used for better activities. It’s already indisputable that they are arranged to marry in the future at the request of his parents, so there is no reason to be close together in any romantic sense.

In fact, Killua will succeed as the head which is why there is no point in thinking about his own future.

A sigh leaves his mouth.

There is only one positive outcome that came out of this whole arrangement. He has an extra set of eyes and he’s sure that she will listen to him without question. All he has to do is play into these formalities and she’s wrapped around his finger.

An affectionate hug here, a tiny smile there...Normally he’d be concerned that a future Zoldyck , even if not by blood, would be so easy to deceive. However, since every carefully planned step is coming from him he’s not surprised in the slightest.

It’s expected of (Y/n) to be loyal, just as much as it’s expected for Killua to take over the family business.

The wooden clock hanging opposite his bed strikes 12 but there is no sign of (Y/n). She never runs late.

The fact that she hadn’t even greeted him when he came back is also unusual. Normally she’d be pacing in front of the entrance door but today his mother took over that role. He heard that she got injured by Killua but (Y/n) has experienced worse so what’s the fuss?

It’s not his problem, he’ll just take a bath before bed. She’ll come running eventually.

Illumi’s right arm is beginning to grow numb. He hasn’t moved from the water in over an hour. Not because he needed a break to relax, taking time off for yourself is inefficient. No, he hasn’t moved because he’s been waiting for the familiar steps and hesitant knock to come from outside his room.

Discerning who someone is from the sound of their footsteps and how they carry themselves is second nature to any professional assassin. For instance, Milluki hovers in one spot when walking while Kalluto creates soft patters with his toes.

On the other hand, (Y/n) always shuffles her feet forward just before his door. It takes her approximately 2 seconds to knock when she’s unsure, 1 second when she’s in a normal mood and 0.5 whenever she has news deemed worthy enough for him to hear. Reading the mood of someone before they see you face to face is important.

Coming to terms with the fact that today she won’t pay him a visit, he steps out of the bathtub, water dripping down his naked body. He throws on a plain black bathrobe and leaves the bathroom. Giving his bed a quick-over, he walks out the door.

Guess it’s time for him to pay a visit instead.

If he actually bothers and gives it some thought, it’s not a mystery as to why he hasn’t even seen her shadow today. She’s ashamed. Ashamed of being a failure for letting Killua go.

Her scrambled mind is most likely trying to piece together what she should say. How she should ask for forgiveness and repent.

He wonders if she’s starving herself or if she’s contemplating about going to the self-confinement room.

Normally he’d push her into whatever she makes up but a stick approach by itself won’t be enough. There needs to be a push and pull factor involved if he wants her to listen to him unconditionally.

And what better way than to appear before her, disheveled and still wet in his robe? She’ll jump to conclusions.

Further guilt will set in, how she unnecessarily worried him by skipping the usual goodnight. His state will continue feeding her imagination, connecting unrelated dots to make her believe that he cares for her.

Truly, a puppet and its real master.

Soaking footprints follow behind him on the floor, the dim candlelight making them difficult to notice. He knocks once before letting himself in and shutting the door, back turned to the only other person inside.

A small gasp penetrates the silence and a rush of steps follow suit, stopping just behind him.

“Illumi, welcome back,” (Y/n) is the first to speak. He stays silent.

A nervous shuffle. “Is..everything okay?”.

The voice quietens downs the more she speaks. That should be enough for now.

He turns around and looks down at her concerned face, with no emotion of his own. Her eyes widen a fraction after registering his condition. Before she can open her mouth to question him further, Illumi crinkles his eyes and smiles.

“It’s nothing. I was just worried since I didn’t see you today,” he gazes away, giving her enough time to fix her expression. It’ll be harder for him to get her to open up if she thinks that he sees through her lack of control.

“I missed you too-,”

Presumptuous to think that he missed her.

“-and I’m sorry for not saying anything. I just…,” she stops right before confessing her shortcoming.

He doesn’t provide her with any more time to compose herself, a full day is already generous. Grabbing the door handle he gives it a slight tug but her hand shuts it and pulls his sleeve. That’s new. (Y/n) rarely takes the initiative.

He allows her to drag him over to the bed, slightly curious about her next move. Is she trying to entertain him as an apology or simply trying to put distance between him and the door?

Both tactics aren’t half bad when it comes to simple targets.

He sits down on the covers and analyses her.

A long white nightdress, face ready for bed, barefoot, and a long knife wound going up her arm.

A shred of pride for Killua’s work passes through his head but he doesn’t showcase this. If by any chance she spotted the look, it would demolish the picture he wants to paint.

(Y/n) kneels down in front of him and takes his hand into hers. It’s warm, though not as soft as it used to be. Her breasts rest atop his knees.

His attention migrates from the sudden action to her face, looking for answers. He made sure that she will only expect affection coming from him, not the other way around. It would be too tiring to keep up a loving demeanour- no, scratch that. It wouldn’t be tiring but the expectations would eventually rise and it would result in less time spent on bringing up Killua.

Oh, he zoned out.

(Y/n)’s eyes are full of regret and desperation, the hand holding his trembling just enough to tell him that today’s event is eating at her. Is she waiting for him to say something?

Finally after what feels like an unprecedented amount of time, the scene unfolds.

Her smaller hand pulls his to her face and rests it against her cheek. The second his skin touches hers, he detects slight heat radiating. She must have not treated the cut. The knife was probably dirty too, Killua slacks off in that regard.

“I’m sorry for being a failure, I’m very sorry Illumi. I have no excuse,” the apology flows out of her mouth, bottom lip quivering. The pain of looking at someone she disappointed forces her eyes to shut close. Her free hand latches onto his thigh and she digs in before continuing.

“You can slash my other arm as punishment. Or hang me upside down in the self-containment room,” she throws out. “But please, please don’t give up on me. I can do better Illumi”.

And as if to prove how determined she is, her eyes open up again, staring deeply into his own. Unwavering. Confident.

Though the thumb that he has under her jaw gave the hammering pulse away.

1,2,3. 1,2. 1,2,3.

He stretched out the silence, pretending to ponder over his answer. The unsettling emotions influencing her thoughts will prove beneficial when he flips her assumption around.

He removes his hand from her cheek and moves the one on his thigh to her side. (Y/n) adopts a look of relief, believing that he agreed to her conditions of punishment. What he’s about to do is infinitely more cruel though.

She catches her breath when he follows her example and kneels in front of her. He pulls up the sleeve of her nightdress that’s slipping down before grabbing her shoulders, gently.

“How can I not give up on you when you give up on yourself,” he lectures her, peeking down at her wound. Make the target question their actions.

An expression of remorse adorns her face, a downward tug of the mouth.

He pulls her in, arms encircling and resting on her lower back. The material of the nightdress is light enough for him to make out the feeling of skin.

“Though I won’t give up on you.” Affirmation and a moment of reassurance.

One of his hands travels deliberately slowly up to her neck. It rests on the back of her head, fingers entangled in her hair. Illumi locates the present that he left her the last time he visited and pushes it back into her head. It has moved slightly out.

This prompts (Y/n) to hug him in response, her previously hanging arms now resting comfortably around him. Good, as for the finishing line.

“Though your failure is a disappointment, I know that you will not repeat the same mistake, because you

love me, right?”.

Her head moves to rest between the crook of his neck, nodding in agreement. She doesn’t ask him if he loves her.

It’s expected of her not to.

#illumi zoldyck #illumi x reader #illumi zoldyck x reader #hunter x hunter fanfiction #hunter x hunter #This took 2 long but now I can focus on other things yay

157 notes · View notes

christasidehoe · 3 years

Note

hi hi 🌸 hc for pain noticing he is in love with his s/o? how would that happen, like, suddenly or he would understand since the beginning? 💖

Pein Falling in Love with the reader

I felt the need to write more of this but I don’t know if this is exactly what you want! So please if you need me to add anymore or explain it better I would happily agree thank you for being my first request! And I can’t wait to write more! This is supposed to be gender neutral so if I wrote anything wrong please tell me where and I definitely fix my mistake🌺✨

✨Around 860 words!✨

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🌸( Yandere )🌸

Yes.. he exactly knew it was wrong but he couldn’t help it.

the first time you meet is probably when he was making you join the Akatsuki, this is where it all came down to when he felt a little part of him want to open to you, kidnap you and make you his little cute spouse he knew his feelings were wrong but he knew his feeling could or couldn’t get in the way of the akatsuki dream so he kept his emotions deep down inside of him just waiting for the moment he could just eat you up While leading you back to the base to put you in a fitting team

As you started getting along with the other akatsuki that when what started everything, the way he just wanted to take you for your own making him super jealous of everything you had to offer to the others sharing bingos with Itachi? Sparring with kisame? Counting money with kakuzu? Flowering gardens with Zetsu? they didn’t even deserve any of your time and what about spending time with him? not one day you could spend the time with him, he was growing angry each time minute by minute every time you would share your kindness with deidara and sasori and all those puny little members but him? No you would always be too nervous or shy. It is not like he has traumatized you at all; he hasn't even touched your arm or any beautiful body part. So why are you so damn afraid of him what did he not do that the others could! I mean Zetsu literally eats human and you sit there and laugh with him!

After those times and many more he would always keep watching you every time keeping more and more track as used the excuse of Konan who has found her friend many times watching you as just making sure you're keeping track and not giving your kindness to enemies. The first move he decided to make was to talk to you and gain your trust easily but yourself poor naive yourself just had to fall into it, He started a conversation with you about how you like being in the akatsuki itself to be able to hear your sweet delicious voice it so beautiful.

You feeling told you to both stay away from him and trust him but your mind refused to leave him. ( his feelings were notice he knew that they should be ashamed all along but he couldn’t of help it so that mostly answers your questions) As you started being his right hand person he used this time wisely to make a plan to kidnap you and keep you locked in the base.

The day has finally come the day where you would be kidnap and his spouse, it was about time where a meeting was about to start. You kept writing in pain signature as his right hand Person as you didn’t feel anything behind you, you felt a dark presence and your Eyes kept looking at the clock and the wall your senses were going crazy but when you turned around you couldn’t see anything you turned back around as just you were crazy of your mind was as you started doing work and you were suddenly knocked out by such force.

You woke up and looked around. “ Pein..?” You heard his deep dark voice say “shhh darling you need to be quiet or I may have to knock you out again.” Gasping for air you knew what was happening “ let me go please…” you begged in a whisper.. “ sorry darling that is not aloud. Not as your leader tells you.”

🌸( Not Yandere! )🌸

No he really didn’t fully into meeting you!

he first found out he liked you when you first joined the akatsuki on a mission your smart and intelligent brain knew how to process stuff faster and your technique was way better than the rest of the akatsuki people. He teamed you up with hidan and kakuzu to make sure you were making sure they were doing the work and not killing or destroying the body, which helped a lot he probably knew that he liked you but didn’t admit it do to the trust issues and wanted to know if you were truly wanted to actually be his spouse or where you only using him!

Konan will be your biggest supporter if you like pain but don’t know how to confess! Konan is Pein's best friend and knows what is in his mind and she even helps him try to confess to you even though both of you guys don’t even know you're crushing on each other! I very much advise that you never ever cheat on him. No No No you will die by Konan hands if you do! Don’t even try! It will brake a lot of people!

Also please be kind and respectful he mostly looks for those kind of traits if your spicy he won’t mind but plain out right rude and hateful it will brake his heart! He shall know pain if you do!

If you guys do confess either you do him please be careful when taking care of Nagato due to Nagato frail body you guys can’t do any dirty stuff because he can’t even last it and if he does make sure to let him breath give him great aftercare even if he can’t give you anything back a lot of mutter and babbling apologies will be out of his mouth as all you can do is kiss his check and lips and say sorry that he have to deal with this! Just be by his side that all he is asking for you!

Nagato truly loves you just as much as pain does but due to his frail body there’s nothing you can both do besides show great affection which is mostly you taking charge! Sometimes you even have to sit him up and put clothes on him just because he can’t do it due to his weak body so please be there and not leave him in the dust! He loves you more then anything and he truely realize it to the end! Mostly because of you! So he will thank you a lot! One of peons favorite thing is cuddling you in his robe as you guys take a walk on the breezy day!

#pein x reader #Nagato x reader #naruto shippuden #naruto headcanons #Naruto #akatsuki

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succulentsunrise · 3 years

Note

Hm how about prompt 26 with Grey x Gauche please Sun 🥺💕? Thank you so much~!

26 from this prompt list! Thank you 🥰 hope you like it!! It references some events that happened in the manga, so if you haven't read up to chapter 266, beware of spoilers!

(also yes, if the title sounds familiar, it is a reference to that 😉)

Pairing: Grey x Gauche Note: SFW, fluff with small bits of hurt. ———————————————————

Truth Untold

Act 1 -

I feel like I can do anything with him, Grey thought as Gauche was carrying her on his back. To anyone else it would have looked like Gauche was carrying his double. Grey was still maintaining her disguise as him. Her heart was still racing from the battle’s success. She was in a kind of a high - even her twisted ankle didn’t feel that bad at that very moment. She and Gauche had defeated a member of the Eye of the Midnight Sun together! If her squadmate had been the type to get excited, Grey would have probably high-fived him in no time. Gauche wasn’t like that, however. He was serious and stern.

Gauche was dependable.

Soon after that, the two of them walked into a trap. It was almost laughable, if they weren’t in lethal danger! They had simply walked towards Charmy, who had been sleeping...and now they were captured. Grey panicked easily - she knew this too well. The vines that had wrapped around both of them were not even that tight, but she didn’t know what to do to slip out of them. They were sucking their magic away. She struggled uselessly against them, the previous high giving way to pure fear.

Then, that calm voice whispered to Grey.

When her mind retreated to jumble and fear, Gauche’s voice brought to her what she needed: direction. Her body obeyed before her mind even figured out what Gauche’s plan was. She trusted his plan fully. She trusted him. It wasn’t for naught - her magic and his cunning freed them from the trap. Grey landed to the ground with a small pained noise, as her twisted ankle complained about the rough landing.

Gauche’s calm voice addressed her. Grey turned to look at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was to the side, one hand scratching the back of his neck. She hadn’t seen him do that very often. He didn’t compliment people often - perhaps that’s why. She had only seen that kind of sincerity in his eyes when he spoke of his little sister. Even if he only complimented her magic, Gauche was encouraging her. It made Grey feel rather fuzzy inside, enough to make her cheeks turn a little warm. She hadn’t expected that from Gauche of all people. She was about to smile, but something else caught her attention - smoke was coming out of her. Her disguise, her magic, was coming undone! In an instant that same old panic overwhelmed her - she wasn’t ready for Gauche to see her! What if he recognized her! She hadn’t prepared for that: it wasn’t a scenario she had practised and played out in her head yet! As the handsome features she had worn turned into her own round face, Grey hid behind her hands. She could feel her cheeks redden with embarrassment, and the knowledge made it worse. A nervous noise left her before she could stop it, only increasing her embarrassment. If only she could control this reaction!

Gauche’s and Charmy’s voices reached Grey’s ears, but she could barely concentrate on them. She peeked from between her fingers, noticing that Gauche wasn’t even looking. That eased her beating heart a little - but not much. Charmy’s clear voice came closer, trying to calm her down. It was sweet, but all Grey wanted to do was to disappear. To be someone else. If she only had mana.

At least Gauche wasn’t looking. That was a relief! - and yet - somehow - disappointing?

No, it was definitely a relief.

Act 2 -

I wonder what he thinks of me, Grey thought. The three of them were gathered around a table: Grey, Gauche and Gordon. The others were on missions or visiting the town. They had originally just eaten together, but thanks to Gordon, they were now pondering whether to play something together. Gauche had tried to withdraw as always, but they had managed to convince him to stay for one game. Grey was glad he had decided to stay. She liked to think part of it was because of her, but that was what had made her wonder in the first place - Gauche saw her as weird, right? Well, it was no good thinking about it right now. If she got embarrassed, she’d just enforce that view! How Grey wished that she could control that in any way, but that was not how it worked. She got so easily anxious...

Gordon brought cards and they began playing. It was easy enough of a game to get into. It distracted Grey from her thoughts. The objective was to get all the cards to oneself by keeping a lookout for a specific type of a card, and when it would appear, by slapping the accumulating card pile. Whoever managed to slap the pile first would get them all. Gauche was very good at it - he had excellent reflexes and a competitive playstyle. Gordon was much slower, taking his time to enjoy the game. Grey felt a little too anxious to make such quick movements. She wasn’t always sure it was the right card, and as she hesitated, Gauche managed to slap it. It went so poorly for her, that she lost all her cards. She only had one round to save herself and that was only if she managed to get a slap out. While being out of the game would be in some way a relief, Grey had to admit she was having fun. She liked watching how confidently Gauche played and how his eyes followed the way the two of them placed the cards into the pile on their turns. She didn’t want the game to be over yet. So Grey steeled herself, readying herself to best Gauche: she would get the next slap! She watched like a hawk for the next card. A round passed, another one - her hand was twitching from anticipation. She had noticed Gauche’s gaze on her. He had noticed her concentration, but there was something else as well. No, Grey shook her head, she had to keep her attention on the cards! As she thought that, Gordon placed a card on the pile. The card. Quick as lightning, Grey extended her hand, noticing that Gauche was doing the same. Their hands struck the card almost at the same time, slapping on top of each other. She could feel his strong hand on hers, more gentle than she expected - and perhaps because of that, Grey anxiously jumped up from her chair and withdrew her hand. Realizing what she had done brought red warmth to her cheeks. She quickly hid her face with her hands, not wanting the others to see that she had gotten embarrassed. She was ashamed of it. She barely managed to get words out, mumbling something about getting scared.

Grey heard Gauche let out a ‘tsk’ noise, and the chair moved. She peeked from behind her fingers to see Gauche standing up. His face was turned away from her, but she could feel the negative aura around him. He was clearly done with the game. She had done this, hadn’t she? The guilt tied her stomach in knots. She watched as Gauche began walking upstairs, looking at his own hand briefly. The one she had touched. Grey sat down to the floor and hugged her knees. Her feelings for Gauche were clear: she wanted to be close to him and she wanted him to like her. Yet, everytime, she managed to ruin it somehow. Maybe there was nothing there. Maybe even with all her knowledge gathered from observing people, maybe she was wrong this time. Maybe Gauche just tried to support her, and she was making it more than it was.

The thought gnawed at Grey’s heart.

Act 3 -

I want him to see me, Grey thought as she sat by the white bed. She felt very tired and hopeless. Gauche had gotten seriously injured in the last fight. She had healed him - according to the court healer, Owen, completely. She didn’t know what to think about that. She didn’t want to think about it. So many terrible things had happened. Even their Captain was gone - no, taken - and a lot of the members were dealing with in their own ways. Grey sighed, her gaze on Gauche. He was bound to wake up any moment now. She hoped it was true. She wanted at least someone to stay by her side. She felt a small twinge of anxiousness at the prospect of Gauche remembering what she had said to him when she had healed the wound - look at me, she had said - and moved her gaze away from him. It was true, though. He had been by her side and supported her. It was easier to do things when someone confirmed what her anxiety doubted. Gauche was the calm harbour in the sea of emotions. Even if he couldn’t erase the embarrassment or anxiety itself, he helped alleviate it. He helped deal with it.

The rustle of sheets caught Grey’s attention. Gauche had woken up. He was sitting upright, looking around him. He seemed ready to go. Grey looked at him quietly, her heart catching onto her throat. He swung his legs to the side and rose up. As he turned to leave, Grey took a light hold of his hand, nervousness beating in her chest. She watched as his gaze turned to her, surprised perhaps, angry - the storm was raging inside him this time.

“Stay,” Grey asked, looking up to him from her chair.

Gauche looked at the delicate hold of his hand. Silence fell as he simply stood there.

Two heartbeats drummed as one.

Slowly, Gauche sat down back at the bed, never breaking the gentle hold of his hand. They looked at each other. Grey could see they were both uncertain. They were both waiting, expecting - wondering. Determination built up inside of her. Yes, she wanted him to see her. Grey stood up, her gaze strangely steady. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. It thrummed wildly.

Gauche's hold was a little stronger, as if gently pulling Grey towards him. She took a step and gently leaned forward, one hand raising to his jaw. The surprise on his face made her stomach twist and hands sweat, but then his gaze dropped lower - to her lips. Grey closed her eyes and kissed him. It was a clumsy, light meeting of lips, bringing great warmth to her face. She flushed completely red. She would have likely withdrawn, if Gauche's hand wouldn't have moved behind her neck and pulled her closer - the next kiss being as clumsy as the first one, but even better. Grey didn't want to move away from him anymore.

They had found happiness in each other's arms.

#Gauche Adlai #Grey (BC)#Greyche #black clover #ccxcc #black clover fanfiction

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kitkatd7 · 3 years

Text

What Could’ve Been; Broken Hearts & Whiskey Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky finally starts trying to get his shit together but when you show up with another man it throws everyone for a loop.

Warnings: Angst! Overprotective Bucky, Pissed reader, Threats, womanizing character who gets what he deserves, Talk of the breakup, Cursing that Steve would be ashamed of, Tiniest bit of fluff but not really.

Word Count: 3,331

A/N: I’m finally backkk!!! I’ve been wanting to work on this series for some time now and I’m finally getting a bit of motivation to do so! I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2: Entire paragraphs of italics are flashbacks, single sentences of italics are internal thoughts, Bold italics are song lyrics. I used lyrics from the song What Could’ve Been by Gone West for this story.

Masterlist of Masterlists || Marvel Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Part 1

-----------------------------------------

**2 Months After Breakup**

Waltzing into the living room of the Avengers tower, you're met with a chorus of greetings from your adopted family. Despite you and Bucky being over you still spend time with everyone else- just when he isn’t around.

You haven’t seen him since you broke up and you’d like to keep it that way. Seeing him would just be more than you could handle; you already lost him so why remind yourself of it more often than you already do? But at the same time his absence from movie night is just as painful of a reminder- like a puzzle with a lost piece.

Snapping back to reality you give a halfhearted smile, joining Steve and Sam on the couch as Natasha hits play on ‘John Wick’.

----------------------------------------

2 hours later you’re standing in the kitchen making snacks with Sam before the next movie starts. “That’s ridiculous, Sammy!” You giggle, watching the microwave timer count down until the popcorn is ready. “Bacon does not belong in ice cream.”

You hear him chuckle behind you as he empties M&M’s into bowls. “Bacon belongs in everything, sweetheart. You're gonna try it sometime or else...”

“Or else what, Sa-” You cut off as you turn around, frozen on the spot as you peer over

Sam’s shoulder.

“Hey, y/n,” Bucky whispers. Your gaze travels up and down the man you used to know, but he’s different. His eyes have bags beneath them from lack of sleep, his hair longer and more unruly than it was the last time you saw him. The stubborn jawline you remembered was replaced by a nervous clenched jaw. His eyes once so bright were now timid and dull; no longer holding the same sparkle that used to make you smile.

In an instant your expression went from a carefree woman with her friends to the girl who’s heart was shattered by the stranger before you whose face you used to know so well.

“Can we talk?” Bucky asks gently, his expression hopeful yet dreading.

“What are you doing here, James?” you whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself as Sam looks between you both carefully.

“I live here,” Bucky nearly scoffs.

“Barnes,” Sam warns, his shoulders tense as he glances at you worriedly.

“I don’t want to talk to you, James. I have nothing to say.”

“All you have to do is listen. Please, doll.”

Despite your best efforts to appear unbothered, the nickname shatters your false bravado. “Don’t call me that,” your voice breaks as tears cloud your vision.

“Excuse me,” you whisper, rushing past both men, ignoring Bucky’s call of your name and attempt to stop you.

“Let her go, man. You’ve done enough,” you hear Sam say as you flee down the hallway, slamming the bathroom door behind you.

Locking the door you turn on the faucet as the tears begin to fall and the suppressed memories rush back:

**2 Months Before Breakup* Flashbacks*

“It’s midnight! Where the hell were you?” You yelled, tears pricking your eyes.

Bucky sighed in defeat, his expression resigned and cold. “Can we do this in the morning?” His tone more of an order than a request as he turns his back on you and begins to walk down the hallway of your apartment.

“No, we can’t do it in the morning. You owe me an explanation. You were supposed to be here when my parents got here. You promised.” You sniffled as Bucky’s shoulders stiffened. “I’m sorry. I don’t have a good enough reason,” he mumbles before walking away.

I haven't stopped thinking about you

Has it really been this long?

Two years and an ocean between us

And I don't know where it all went wrong

I know I coulda kissed you harder

And yeah, you coulda followed through

Shoulda talked a little bit softer

But we meant every "I love you"

**1 Month Before Breakup**

Glancing around the restaurant you see no sign of Bucky. Checking your phone for the 8th time in the past 10 minutes, you sigh. Where is he? You’ve been here for an hour; waiting in your new dress for the man who hadn’t bothered to show. You’re getting tired of the pitiful looks the waitress and the other customers are shooting you. Polishing off your second glass of wine you open your phone: no new messages.

You’ve already sent Bucky 5 texts and called him 4 times; you're done.

Paying for the wine quickly you all but flee the restaurant, trying to hold back your tears. If you weren’t so upset you would probably laugh; laugh at yourself for being so naive to think he would keep his word. But you can’t bring yourself to laugh, not while your heart slowly shatters at the hands of the man who swore never to hurt you.

I don't know what this is or what it isn't

But it feels like we've got unfinished business

**2 Months Ago; AKA Week of Breakup**

“Hey this is y/n, I can’t come to the phone right now cuz I’m out livin my life! Leave it at the beep.” He hears your all too familiar voicemail through the speaker. He had helped you come up with it, you hadn’t known what to put on it. He kicks himself, knowing you weren’t actually out living your life, just dodging his calls. Not that he blamed you- He deserved it and he knew it. Calling again, he’s not surprised when he hears your voicemail again.

“Hey… Um, listen, I know I was supposed to be at your place after the mission… I just wanted to unwind with the guys and- Shit. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think you would mind that much, I’ll be over in a bit to make it up to you, okay?” He leaves the message and ends the call before starting his car and driving towards your apartment, guilt heavy in his stomach.

You listen to his voicemail over and over, a strange mix of rage and sorrow weighing on your heart.

Tears roll slowly down your cheeks silently as you lay curled up in a defensive ball on your bed, trying to block out the unmistakable sound of Bucky begging you to open the front door; “Babe, please open the door,” He says, fist resting gently against the frame. “I’m sorry- really, really sorry. Please let me in and we can talk about it,” He sighs, resting his head against the door in defeat. He could break the lock and go in. You both know that. But he wouldn’t do that to you- All that would do is make you fear him and that’s the last thing he wants. He slides his back down the wall til he’s sitting on the floor next to your door, his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair; Tears gathering in his lashes. He really messed up this time.

The next day you drag yourself out of bed, trying to forget last night and all the tears you shed. After a shower and breakfast, you head out the door for a coffee run before work. You stop in your tracks when you see Bucky still sitting there, eyes red from lack of sleep and regret written all over his face. He jumps up when you walk out, keys in hand, the door closing behind you. “What are you doing here?”

“I- I came to apologize,” he murmurs, looking in your eyes.

“I don’t want to hear it,” you bite, moving to step around him but stopping when he steps to block your path.

“Bucky, I’m going to be late for work,” you say coldly, glaring at him. “Move out of the way.”

“Please doll, just let me explain-”

Huffing, you roll your eyes. “I understand perfectly, James.” You watch as he flinches a little at the use of his first name. You only use it when you're really mad or really happy, and it isn’t the latter right now. “You were too busy with your beer buddies to come see your girlfriend after being gone for three weeks, but what’s new? It’s been like this for months. I guess it was naive of me to expect something else this time.”

'Cause we left blood the on the tracks

Sweat on the saddle

Fire in the hills

A bullet in the barrel

Words never said in a story that didn't end

Looks like you're on the mend and I'm on the bottle

We folded our hands with money on the table

**Present Day**

All the broken promises, nights alone and tears came rushing back as sobs racked your body. Sliding down the door you rest your head between your knees, eyes screwing shut tightly in a useless attempt to stop the bittersweet memories and tears.

Little do you know that outside the door sat a man with tears clouding his vision as he listened to your muffled sobs on the other side of the door. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to turn back time and undo all of the agony he caused you and hold you like he's been wishing he could for the past 2 months. You were just on the other side of the door, separated from him by a few inches of wood and yet you had never been farther away. What did he do?

Tried moving on, but I keep coming back again

To what could've been

What could've been

Oh, what could've been

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

-------------------------------------------

Stumbling into your apartment you all but throw your keys and purse down before shuffling into the bathroom and turning on the hot water for a shower before turning back to the mirror.

The person you see looking back at you in the mirror isn’t who you remember- or at least not who you thought you were. The person you remember was carefree and happy; living in a dream with the love of their life. You don’t recognize the girl in the mirror with swollen, bloodshot eyes and shoulders that hold the weight of the world. What happened to the girl you used to know?

A single tear rolled down your cheek, leaving a mournful trail in its wake. Bucky. Bucky happened to that girl.

There had always been doubt hidden in the back of your mind; doubt that your beautifully woven reality would become nothing more than a tangled web of what once was and could’ve been, but you never thought it would end like this. You had imagined it being another girl that came between you, or perhaps his self loathing or the inadequacy you felt. Never did you think it would be the unexplainable, cold, unfeeling resentment that had taken over the gentle, sweet man you thought you knew. Where did it go wrong?

A couple more simple, "I'm sorry's"

A little less tryna be right

I wonder how many good mornings we wasted

'Cause we didn't say goodnight

One touch before we fell asleep

Just before our love was out of reach

Coulda been enough, coulda saved us from this loneliness

------------------------------------------

“Steve?” Bucky calls out as he strides into the training room, the door banging shut behind him. Whirling around Steve clutches a hand to his chest. “Jesus, Buck! You scared the hell out of me!”

“I need your help,” Bucky demands, jaw set in a firm line and his eyes glittering with determination.

Steve runs a hand over his face, letting out a sigh. “Is this about Y/N and the other night? Because if it is I am not apologizing to the poor girl for you, so you can just-”

“I want her back.”

“You what?!” Steve exclaimed, his jaw dropping.

“I want her back- I need her back. And I need you to help me.”

“Damn it, Bucky. It’s been 2 months and you saw how she still feels about what you did. How are we gonna fix that?”

“I don’t know yet, Steve… But I have to try. Please.”

-----------------------------

Strolling into Tony’s party happily, you smile up at your date, your arm linked with his.

You greet Tony with a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek before turning towards the sound of Natasha calling your name. Sashaying towards her you give her a hug before turning to give Thor and Steve one as well.

“So, who’s this?” Nat asks, gesturing towards your date who’s eyeing her unabashedly, his gaze dropping to her neckline.

“Oh, sorry! This is Jordan!”

You roll your eyes as Thor begins lightly interrogating him, but he doesn’t pay much attention, his gaze fixed on Natasha’s retreating form.

“Can we talk?” Steve asks, his hand resting gently on your forearm. Following him into a nearby corridor you give him a puzzled look. “Is something wrong, Steve?”

“Um, not exactly…” he murmurs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, what is it then?”

“It’s about Bucky.” Seeing your irritated expression he holds up his hands innocently. “Wait a minute. Just hear me out, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Look, he’s been spiraling since you guys broke up; not eating, always working and out on missions constantly, and his nightmares are getting worse again.”

“Why should I care?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like you don’t still love hi- Actually, fine, Y/N. If you want to pretend that you don’t care then that’s your problem. Just know that seeing you the other night? Changed something. He’s trying again, and I don’t want to see him lose that. So even if you want to tell yourself that it doesn’t matter to you, at least think about it for me.” Steve turned away, pausing for a moment. “Oh, and by the way? Seeing you here tonight with someone else isn’t gonna be good for anyone… But why should you care, right?”

Taken aback by Steve’s lack of usual patience, you can only watch as he walks off, disappearing into the crowd and leaving you with mixed emotions and a hard decision ahead of you; what were you gonna do?

No matter how hard you tried to block out thoughts of Bucky they always managed to slip back in between the cracks in your shattered heart. Steve was right; you did care. But what were you supposed to do about it tonight? Especially about Jordan. Were you supposed to walk up to him and say ‘oh, by the way you have to leave because my ex is here and he may or may not rip your arms off? No, that wouldn’t work.

Racking your brain for a solution, you snag a glass of champagne from one of the passing trays, downing it in the hopes of drowning your mixed emotions - it didn’t work. Taking a deep breath, you start weaving between the sea of bodies towards where you left Jordan.

Spotting Thor and Tony you make your way towards them, smirking when you hear Tony arguing with Thor over… something.

“Where’s Jordan?” you ask, joining their small circle and trying to shake off your conversation with Steve.

“He was here a minute ago… I’m not sure though, kiddo,” Tony says, giving you a puzzled glance. “Speak of the devil, here he is!” Tony exclaims as you look over your shoulder to see a slightly ruffled Jordan walking towards you, his eyes holding an unnatural hazy look.

“Where were you?” You ask lightly, gaze raking his bedraggled form; his shirt slightly untucked, hair mused and lips pink.

“Oh um, nowhere. Just the bathroom.”

Accepting another glass of champagne, you push down the fury in your chest. You’d just taken a sip when an all too familiar figure came to stand beside you; a scotch glass in his hand and clad in an unfairly attractive black suit. “Hey Y/N, who’s this?”

Nearly choking on your drink, your eyes widen. “Bucky! What are you doing here? You hate these parties!” You say before you can stop yourself. Stupid. The offhanded statement would seem innocent to most, but to you- to you it was a reminder that you still knew him better than anyone else did, a reminder that you remembered all the nights alone together instead of at the noisy parties, a reminder that you still cared enough to remember.

You could see that he was thinking the same thing. “This is Jordan. My…” you faded off, not quite sure what to call him.”

“Date,” Jordan finishes for you, wrapping his left arm around your waist lazily, his hand traveling slightly further than appropriate for the first date. “But we’re keeping things loose, isn’t that right?” Jordan asks, glancing at you but not waiting for an answer. “And who the hell are you?”

Your eyes widen in shock, glancing back and forth between the two men; taking in Jordan’s cocky smirk and Bucky’s knowing look.

Bucky extended his hand, a malicious smirk on his lips and dark glint in his eyes as he took in the unprofessional state of Jordan- including the lipstick stain on his white button down- and the uncomfortable shift of your weight, leaning away from your sorry excuse of a date.

Jordan accepted the outstretched hand, wincing visibly and paling at Bucky’s iron grip. “Bucky Barnes,” Bucky offered, enjoying as the other man wriggled uncomfortably in his grip, his arrogance forgotten. His gaze lighted on Bucky’s metal arm, his eyes lighting with recognition and terror.

“Holy- you're the Winter Soldier! God man, I’ve heard so much about you-”

“An honor, I’m sure,” Bucky drawls, looking bored, his voice dropping an octave in warning. “Now get lost.”

You sputter defiantly as Jordan scurries off, his tail between his legs.

“What was that for?!” you fume,a fire burning in your eyes as you turn on Bucky.

“Oh c’mon. The guys’ been eyeing every other woman in here! He’s a douche! What was I supposed to do? Just let him feel you up after sneaking off with who knows what girl?”

“Who ‘feels me up’ is none of your concern anymore!”

“Come off it, Y/N! You didn’t even want him touching you! I was protecting you, so your welcome,” he huffed.

“I don’t need protecting, and I sure as hell don’t need you to protect me. So you can go fuck yourself, James. You can’t treat me like shit for months and then get mad when someone else does the same thing!” you snarl, spinning on your heel and storming off as Bucky watches you.

Bucky stalks across the floor, the crowd parting before him; not willing to get in the way of the 6 foot man on a mission. Locating his target- dancing with another girl no less- he grabs him roughly by the collar before pushing him against a pillar.

“What the hell, dude?” Jordan fumes, eyes locking on Bucky’s before he goes slack, his eyes widening in horror when he recognizes the former assassin.

“Every single thing you’ve ever heard about me is true, so shut up and listen closely,” Bucky growls, his arm braced against Jordans chest forcefully, a murderous glint in his eyes. “I expect you to do exactly what I say, and if you don’t, I’ll know. First, you are going to get your sorry ass out of here, and then you are going to send Y/N an apology text, telling her what an asshole you are, and that you don’t deserve to even look at her. Then, you are not going to get within 1,000 feet of her, and you are not going to text, call, or even think about her ever again, or I swear to God I will hunt you down, cut your balls off and shove them down your goddamn throat, got it? Nod if you understand. Good. Now. Get. Out.”

Releasing Jordan, Bucky watches as he falls to the floor before scrambling towards the door with the fear of God instilled in him.

“What the hell did you just do, Bucky?”

-----------------------------------

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gaymershigh · 3 years

Note

How about Deuce, Azul, Idia and the Leech twins' if it's not too much, (smoll)male s/o saying "I love you." for the first time ? Thanks !

Sure, annonie! Since I also have a smol boi I can imagine this scenario in my head and It's! SO! CUTE! o(^▽^)o

Triggers: None

Deuce, Azul, Idia, Jade and Floyd small male s/o saying "I love you" for the first time

Neither of you two have said the phrase "I love you" no matter how much you two really want to say it because you two are too nervous to initiate it. He never had a romantic relationship before and is also as nervous as you so it's not really a surprise if you said it first.

He was always taking good care of you and always showing you physical affection. He enjoys hugging and cuddling your small figure, always nervously complimenting how pretty you are petting your head and everything. Yes, he has the balls to do all this but apparently not brave enough to say "I love you". Yes, very tragic.

So when you first said those magic three words, he was startled. Not sure what he really felt at the time but all we know is that he's shocked. When those words came out of your mouth, he made a dramatic gasp and stood like a statue, staring at you with his eyes all bugged out.

Despite him being probably ticklish, poking him even at his most sensitive areas won't even make him flinch, this is the most life changing moment for him. (almost correct, he's just being dramatic at the moment) He's aware that you love him but you saying it is still a shocking thing, this feels just like the time you confessed that you also have feelings for him. It takes a few minutes to go back to reality and when he does, his face is as red as Riddle's hair and fuming face combined.

He would feel ashamed about not being able to say it first. He would spit out thousands of apologies for not saying it first or not being not good enough because he didn't say it first. So he decided to spill all his feelings and what little things he loves about you in such a quick pace to the point he sounds incoherent. He'll get weird stares from other students and will get teased by both Ace and Grim later if they coincidentally walked pass you two.

Azul has said his love for you multiple times but it's not often as the others as he either doesn't have that much time to spend with you because of work or because he despises saying those words in public. Of course, he still wants to say his love for you but he has a reputation to hold and being overly affectionate is not something a gentleman nor a businessman would do! No matter how much he would love to hug your smaller figure from behind, it's just unprofessional.

He really doesn't give one if you haven't said you love him back but if this lasts until months, then he's getting anxious and antsy. He knows you love him back but he would appreciate it a bit more if you said it as well. He really craves to hear those three words from his s/o when dating. Plus, he has said it so much to you, why haven't you said it to him? He has these thoughts, thinking he was ready to hear it any moment but when he did hear it from you, he was caught off guard.

When you do say it, he stopped whatever he was doing. Yes, it was very unprofessional for a businessman to get so surprised over something so simple as that but give him a break. He might not be human but he still has the feelings of one. Plus, this is the first time he heard it from you. He managed to cover up his slightly shocked expression by clearing his throat and saying he loves you back, acting like nothing happened and tried brushing it off.

When he's in his workroom with both of the Leech twins there, he is having a hard time. Both having a hard time to focus and a hard time to keep his cool from his cheeks reddening in front of the devilish pair. He really cannot get that thought about you declaring your love for him, looking really cute and extra points for your shorter height making it seem more innocent and cuter. He kept adjusting his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. The two do realise that something's going on inside the mind of the octopus boy and decided to pester him about it later.

In his bedroom, a place where nobody is sure to see him doing whatever in there because he had forced the good habit of knocking and asking permission before entering to his dorm members, he's more of a mess since there's nothing restricting him from showing his true emotions. He's shifting all over the bed to the point of no return, all blushed up and still trying to cover it despite that nobody's there. It's always fresh in his mind and just prays for it to go away as fast as possible. It will, spoiler alert but it'll take a few couple of weeks or even months for the memory to fade away for now.

He has said his "I love you" to you before but it's not really that surprising or anything to be that shocked as he only declared it in text form. There's no way he's going to confess it verbally on irl because that's such a "normie thing to do"! And also because he's just anxious to say it in general. Yeah, it's just three words but they say so much and it's easier said than..actually saying it, especially in front of the person you want to say it to. Except he can't even say it in voice chat either.

It's like saying it in front of a cute anime girl character that every fan probably adores. You even have the cute height of an adorable move shoujo manga deuteragonist, the protagonist's love interest! cute, short and just the character's fan favourite, you know? It will either always take some time or it takes the end of the manga for the protagonist to confess. It's like the same thing except they're already together!

It was a normal day of voice chatting after a nice match of an online fighting game. He kept praising your amazing skills and tricks for playing for the first time and hoping that you two can play again. Then from that, he kept wanting to read these mangas he thought was interesting with you. He was very excited and filled with energy, how can't you not think that's straight up adorable and not express how you love that part of him?

So when you did, he went immediately silent. There's not even a noise of a ceiling fan. Just dead, utter silence. You kept calling out for his name no matter how many times he hasn't answered. Out of nowhere, he cut the call, leaving you alone. In just a few minutes later, he went offline. You were worried, what the hell just happened? You knew that kneading freakout about your sudden words but you for some reason didn't expect it to affect him that much. You might have to contemplate whether you should visit him to check if he's ok or not.

He's not ok, at all but not like in a bad way. He's happy but he's panicking. First, he's such a wimp for not saying the words first to the point you have to declare it first. Even if saying 'I love you' is such a normie thing, he's aware it's something important to say if you're in a goddamn relationship. Second, what was he supposed to say after that? 'I love you too'!? How? As much as he wants to spit it out, he couldn't. Though, one day. Maybe he could learn to say it back? Through the teachings of a shoujo mangas of course!

Jade is wonderful at saying his love for you verbally. His words can go from simple "I love yous" to a list of 150 reasons why he loves you in alphabetical order. Though he won't say it as much in public, his love language from both physical and verbal are endless! If you're a cheesy, affectionate man then he would be the perfect man for you! (though, he's always perfect for everyone in general)

There's no way for him to describe his love for you, especially his love for your small frame. It's obvious that he's a giant when compared next to you and he has pride for that. You unintentionally give him power and dominance just by staring at you. Just by holding you, he's amorous. He's always holding you close on his bed, whispering sweet nothings and the three words that never rolled out of your tongue until now.

It was another casual cuddling session after the long day of work of Jade. He was doing the normal thing, complementing your tiny body and saying his 'I love yous' and that. You were hesitant but after all this time of him praising you and after a long day of work, shouldn't he receive his reward and the thing that he should hear after months of being together? When you say the magic words, his eyes widen for a few seconds only for his face turns into his iconic toothy grin. He kept teasing you to repeat them as he pretended that he couldn't hear you.

He expects you to say these words more often now that you finally said it. For the entire time, he secretly waits for you to say those words because as much of a gentleman he is, he anticipated that you're supposed to say those words back not just because you're boyfriends but because he deserves it after all those comments he tossed to you. (don't worry, he means his words, it's just that my guy wants affection too) and when he finally gets it, he's very and finally satisfied, like he finished his final mission or something.

He might not show it since he's a master of hiding his emotions but he's genuinely joyful about it. He finally got one of his dreams about or with you finished and he was way more satisfied at the result. You're small innocent self finally saying I love you back is kinda like the dream for him for some reason.. Please say your love for him more without him begging because the last thing he wants to say to you is saying "say you love me"

Knowing Floyd, he doesn't care about what anyone has to say about his affection towards you. No matter where you are, if he's in a good mood then he has no resistance to just fling and run himself into your comfy arms. There's a reason as to why he chose you as your boyfriend after all.

He has a thing for people smaller than him and it's shown by bullying Riddle till he's about to blow up like a volcano (or already blown up, depends on how he feels or what he said) and you being his boyfriend won't make you immune to his teasing. If anything, he will bully you about your height even more but he knows where to cross the line unlike with other students. He's very touchy so expect him to touch your small torso every time he has the chance.

He doesn't even realise that you haven't said your love for him if your love language leans more to physical. He wouldn't mind if you don't say it if you're also returning his hugs and super invested in cuddling sessions. Kiss him, hug him or do anything that's physical and he would be just as happy but if you don't do any of that, then he might say something about it or puff his cheeks out, pouting.

You were on his lap, cuddling like always, ignoring the judgemental stares you two are getting. Brave enough for them to try staring down at your giant monster of a boyfriend. He pours everything interesting that has happened to him or he has witnessed, aka the normal things he does everyday (surprising of how consistent he was) and it was adorable especially with his cooing voice when he mentions something he really thinks is cool. You accidentally said that is what you love about him and he stopped and looked at you for a second.

"Oh, Is that so?" oh, get prepared to be teased for that by the way. He's more in love with more than ever when you said that, especially the way you said it confidently, knowing that well it's unintentional. He has no shame to ask you to say it more or he'll squeeze you. Unsure if that's just a joking statement or not. I mean, he's technically squeezing the life out of you, screaming "I love you" at a ridiculously fast pace so he's probably not. Unfortunately or fortunately for you, he will ask you where's his daily "I love you" if you haven't said it yet before you separate your ways to your dorm for the next day to rise.

Can you tell I panicked when writing Floyd's part? Don't know why I panicked in the first place though, lol~

~𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

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karasu-hieis-dragon · 3 years

Text

Closer - Tech!Reader Fic

Closer

Summary: THIS IS 18+ Please KEEP SCROLLING IF YOU ARE UNDER 18.

EXPLICIT.

You are a medic who was hired to take care of Clone Force 99 also known as The Bad Batch. You knew it was going to be an adventure but what you didn't know was that you would fall in love and end up in a relationship with the teams Engineer, Tech. You end up helping on a mission that ignites a feeling in Tech that he has never felt before when a flirtatious Senator gets too close to you. Smut ensues.

This could be seen as dub/con so I want to be very clear if you are triggered by aggressive men please don't read this. The premise of this fic is sweet, gentle Tech goes primal because he is jealous and he doesn't know how to handle it.

This is my first time writing smut.

Like, this took a lot for me to do.

Should I feel ashamed?

Ah screw it just enjoy the show.

CLOSER

Jealousy wasn’t a feeling Tech ever felt, it wasn’t an emotion that was ever necessary. Not until this very moment and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. You were a medic that was brought on to assist with the special ops clone team, it has been an adventure to say the least, but Tech wouldn’t have expected anything less, it was normal life for Clone Force 99. Now, what he didn’t expect was to fall in love with you and he absolutely never thought you would fall in love with him. Yet, here you both are, on a special ops mission that Tech felt you never should have been asked to be involved in. It was a special dinner party hosted by a Separatist Senator who had sensitive intel that the Republic needed, and the Bad Batch were brought in to retrieve it. Hunter assured Tech you would remain safe by his side and you, always head strong and caring, wanted to help. You had promised him you would stay safe; besides, you had been trained by the best for the last year and if trouble started you would be prepared.

Yet, it was Tech who wasn’t prepared, for the first time in his life, he didn’t know how to handle a situation. Tech and Crosshair were posted on a hill keeping watch through their sniper scopes and listening through the comms, ready to take out anyone who posed a threat. The evening was going smoothly so far that was until a drunk, handsy Senator decided to start flirting with you. He had zero care that Hunter, who was supposed to be your husband, was standing right there. Hunter, not wanting to blow the mission tried to keep his cool trusting you would know how to handle the situation and you did. You being the ever so calm one decided to play right into it. The Senator then took it a step too far by wrapping his arm around your waist and pulled you in close.

Crosshair could feel Tech tense up, he looked over and his finger was on the trigger, hand trembling. He reached over patting Tech’s shoulder knowing damn well he had that scope trained on the Senators head. “Trust her” Crosshair whispered. Tech took a deep breath, taking his finger off the trigger and it was at that moment you pushed away the Senator playfully saying “Now, now Senator, my husband is right here” flashing him a toothy smile. The Senator let out a hearty laugh “My apologies my hands have a mind of their own when a gorgeous woman is around” slapping Hunter on the back as he walked away yelling “You’re a lucky man!”.

The rest of the evening went without a hitch, you and Hunter were able to slip away, steal the data chip with the damning intel and slip out of the party unnoticed. All in all it was a perfect mission and you felt good about how you and Hunter handled everything, you couldn’t wait to get back to the Marauder to see Tech and to celebrate. When you and Hunter walked into the ship Crosshair, Wrecker and Echo were waiting with smiles and cheers.

But no Tech. Your smile dropped.

Hunter immediately felt the tension looking at Crosshair then to you. Crosshair motioned his head towards their rooms. “You may want to go talk to him.”

When you reached the door to his room your heart was pounding out of your chest. You weren’t sure what was actually wrong, and you were nervous to find out. You knock with shaky hands and a nervous voice which wasn’t like you but not knowing what the issue was had you on edge.3.

“Tech, it’s me.”

No answer.

“Please talk to me.”

Still no answer.

“I’m not going anywhere until you open this door.”

Silence.

Taking a deep breath, you raise your voice this time.

“TECH, I SWEAR TO THE MAKER IF YOU DON’T OPEN THIS DOOR I AM GOING TO HAVE WRECKER BREAK IT DOWN!”

You heard him sigh loudly then heavy footsteps.

The door swooshed open and as you stepped in you were ready to start yelling, your fists were balled up as you were fighting back tears. Tech was standing there staring at you with a look in his eyes that you couldn’t read and it sent chills down your spine. You went to open your mouth, but you never got the chance to get any words out because he was on you, gripping your neck, slamming you against the wall. Tech looked down at you, breathing heavy, pupils shot wide, he looked feral. Suddenly the hand that was holding your hip came up to grip your hair as his lips came crashing down on yours. The kiss was hungry, possessive and completely out of character for Tech and then it hit you.

He was jealous.

He was jealous of what happened on the mission with the Senator.

You should have been mad. You should have pushed him away. You should have fought back. How dare he not trust you!

But you were too busy loving this new primal side.

The heat between your legs proved it.

You wanted more, you wanted him to be possessive if this was the outcome. Yes, it was selfish but having him this feral was intoxicating. Tech let go of your neck and hair bringing his hands down to your ass, lifting you up so you could wrap your legs around his waist. Thankfully, he had stripped his armor off before you had shown up, so he was only in his blacks. You were sure he could feel the wetness between your legs through his pants especially since you were just in a dress and that was currently hiked up past your hips. He pushed you harder into the wall, his fingers dug into your ass cheeks, grinding his hard dick against your soaked panties.

He let out a moan into your mouth before he tore his lips away, bringing them to your ear, whispering in the most guttural low growl you have ever heard come out of his mouth.

“You’re. Mine.”

Then he bit into your neck, marking what was his, licking at the fresh wound, you smelled what you were sure was blood as he lapped it up. You dug your nails into his shoulders, throwing your head back with a yelp.

He pushed you harder against the wall, his hands coming up to the hem of your thin panties ripping them off you. You gasped at the sheer strength he was exuding; he was panting feverishly. He kept you pinned to the wall with his chest as he moved his hands to his pants to quickly yank them down just enough for his throbbing cock to be set free. Tech looked you in the eyes, there was a pleading behind the animalistic desire as we whispered.

“Tell me you’re mine.”

You could barely speak, there was a lump in your throat, your mouth was dry and all you wanted was for him to claim you against this damn wall. But he had other plans. He brought his hand up to your neck again, he didn’t squeeze but he was letting you know he wanted you to say it, his beautiful hazel eyes still locked on yours.

“I asked you to say something Mesh’la.”

“I – I’m, I’m yours T-Tech” You let out breathlessly.

That elicited a wicked grin to form across his lips, then he leaned forward and whispered in your ear.

“That’s right cyar'ika, you are mine and no one else. Now, tell me, did you like it when that filthy, unworthy Senator was flirting with you? When he dared touch what is mine”

Tech’s voice was dripping with venom and lust and it was the sexiest thing you have ever heard.

He took his free hand and started stroking his dick, bringing it up to your dripping slit. You tried to push your hips down, to at least feel it against your clit but he was having no part of that. He was in control. He was punishing you. He tsked your attempt with a click of his tongue “My love, do you really think I am going to allow you any pleasure until I say?” Your mind was reeling, you couldn’t believe this was the same sweet, gentle Tech who makes love to you so tenderly and kisses you so lovingly. You wanted to answer him but it was difficult to even think clear. He was holding you up against the wall like you weighed nothing, the sheer strength was making you weak. He moved the head of his dick to your entrance but not before lightly rubbing it against your clit.

It snapped you out of your stupor.

“I won’t you ask again.” He was more stern this time.

You forced yourself to find your voice weakly whispering. “No, I - uh - I hated it Tech b-but w-we were on a mi-on a mission.”

He looked at you in the eyes again “Tell me who you belong to.”

“You Tech, only you! Please, I need you inside me, I need you to mark me as yours, please.” You cried out, begging him to finally fuck you.

The look in is eyes changed, you saw something in him snap and then without warning he was slamming his hard cock into your dripping cunt. You screamed his name as he buried himself inside you, he gave you a moment to adjust to his thick member splitting you open but he only allowed a moment then he was wrapping his hand around your neck again as he pulled almost all the way out only to slam back into you again, this time setting an unrelenting pace. With each hard thrust he breathlessly chanted “You. Are. Mine. Mesh’la.”

It was music to your ears.

You start to feel the familiar twisted heat building in your stomach, your walls clenching around him, you were close and he knew it. Tech slowed to a stop, tightening the grip he had around your neck, you closed your eyes trying to keep the tears from falling.

“Look at me cyar'ika” He coos. You opened your eyes knowing he wouldn’t continue unless you did. The tears starting to gather in the corners of your eyes. He leaned in and kissed them away.

“I love you, mesh’la but you don’t get to cum until I tell you.”

Before you realize what is going on, he has pulled out of you and tossed you onto his bed. Tech removes his blacks in one swift motion tossing them across the room then he starts working on your dress, ripping the silky fabric into two. “As beautiful as you looked in this I don’t want anything on you that was touched by that disgusting Senator” He yanked it out from under you throwing it as far away from your body as he could. Looking down at you completely wrecked he thought you were the most beautiful creature he has ever seen. He did this to you, sweet, shy Tech who couldn’t even look you in the eyes the first few months you joined them has completely destroyed you and he wasn’t even finished with you yet. You should have realized one of these days this would come out of him, he was a clone, he was made with this warrior DNA.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Tech roughly pushing your legs open and licking a slow and deliberate lick up your slit. You gasped at the sudden sensation, hands flying to his hair, urging him closer.

“Ah, ah, ah, use your words mesh’la”

Bastard

“Maker, Tech, please, I need to cum, please!” You scream, you couldn’t care less that the rest of the guys could hear and I doubt Tech cared either. “Pl-Please, Maker please Tech, let me cum.”

“Good girl, now was that so hard?” He says with a muffled growl. Tech doesn’t give you a chance to respond pushing two fingers into your aching cunt and latches onto your clit with his lips. You scream out his name, clawing at his arms, it doesn’t take much before you are clenching around his fingers crying out his name as you cum so hard you are seeing white. You’re try to buck your hips up against his face. You’re trying to pull away. You’re clawing at his arms. Your screams can’t escape your throat. You are a mess. The efforts are futile though, he is holding you down with his free hand, making you ride your orgasm out on his fingers and tongue. It’s too much and not enough all at once and all you knew is that you wanted him in you.

As if reading your mind and apparently taking pity on you he kisses his way up your body, landing on your lips letting you taste yourself. This kiss was different though, it was gentle and sweet, the usual Tech kiss, it was home. He pushed into you slowly, calculated and it took your breath away. He pulled his face back bringing his hand to cup your face.

“I love you, cyra’ika”

You let out a breathy “I love you too, Tech”

He started moving into you, setting a gentle pace, his eyes never left yours, whispering sweet words, telling you how beautiful you, how good you are for him, how much he loves you. This is the Tech you know, the Tech you are familiar with and the Tech you prefer. Making love to this man, this special Clone is unlike anything you have ever experienced, and you wouldn’t change a thing about him. Tech started to move faster, harder but he never stopped looking in your eyes, he could feel you were getting close again. He reached down to where the two of you met and gently started rubbing your clit.

“Cum again for me my love, I need to feel you soak my dick.”

That’s all it took, you came hard again, you didn’t have the voice to scream his name you just dug your nails into his back as you rode it out.

“Thank you, mesh’la , you are so beautiful when you cum all over my hard cock.” His voice was strained, you could tell he was struggling to keep his control.

“Pl-please cum for me, T-Tech, I need you to cum in me, mark me as yours.”

That’s all Tech needed to hear, he rested his forehead against yours and started thrusting hard into you, incoherent whispers escaping his lips. It didn’t take very long before he was growling your name, shooting his hot cum inside you, coating your tight walls. He lowered his lips to yours and whispered how much he loved you. Softly kissing you between each gentle word he breathed out. You both stayed that way until he was finally soft and your breathing had returned to normal. He gave you one final kiss before pulling out of you and grabbing a towel to clean you up. He kept telling you how proud he was of you for how you handled yourself on the mission as he cleaned you up, reminding you how much he trusted you. He laid down next to you, pulling you close to him.

“I am so sorry I reacted the way I did but when he touched you something in me snapped.”

“I understand, Tech, I really do, if another woman did that to you I can’t say I wouldn’t have reacted the same.”

“I trust you, I hope you know that?”

“I know you do, Tech”

He paused taking a deep breath, you could feel him tense up. “Did I did I hurt you, mesh’la?” He pulls you in tighter to him and your heart broke, you could tell he was ashamed.

“No, my love, I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it but let’s not make the jealousy a habit. You can still be possessive here but out in public I want you to trust me to make the right decisions. I love you and I will never do anything to betray that.”

Then you both were rattled by a hearty banging on the door making you both jump. “ARE YOU TWO DONE MAKING UP IN THERE?!” Followed by Wrecker absolutely losing his shit laughing, followed by Hunter yelling at him to leave us alone, followed by Crosshair threatening to shoot Wrecker from ten clicks away.

You both smiled at each other and laughed, these guys were your life and you wouldn’t change a damn thing.

#tech #tech!reader #the bad batch #clone force 99 #the clone wars #star wars #smut

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loving-barnes · 4 years

Text

BUCKY BARNES – FIRST (1/2)

(A/N): This one is a bit different and I hope that you will not judge Y/N because... well, you will read. There were parts where it was hard to put them down. I don’t know what else to add.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Summary: Bucky talks to Y/N about her insecurities and she reveals more to him than to any man before.

Warning: nudity, sex talk, insecurities,

Words: 4200+

FULL MASTERLIST |

BUCKY BARNES – FIRST (1/2)

I turned my head over a shoulder, eyes instantly capturing his whole being at the pool table where he was chatting with Sam and Steve, smiling and drinking a beer from a glass bottle. How a man could be this handsome; no, better: how could I be so lucky to be in a relationship with this man, I would never fully understand.

When his eyes found mine, he simply smiled at me. The team knew about us, but we were not in a state where we would fully show our relationship. It was an early stage of the relationship. So far, these were the most beautiful two months of dating and slowly falling in love with this man. However, I insisted on taking it slow and not rush to anything. Bucky accepted and I was relieved.

“So,” Wanda sat down next to me, holding a glass of wine between fingers. “How is everything going with you and Barnes?” she asked with a smile.

“Steady,” I replied easily, taking a sip of my water. “There is no rush, nothing wild. I like how things are going.”

Natasha joined us, leaving Clint and Bruce with Tony and Rhodey at the other side of the room. “What are you talking about?”

“I was just asking Y/N how things are going between her and Barnes,” Wanda replied.

“And?” Natasha sat next to the witch.

“Everything is going fine,” I replied, trying to hide my blush behind the glass. “There is nothing much to tell, to be honest.”

Both women looked at me with a grin. “So, give us the details and we mean the spicy details. We want to know everything.”

“Yes,” Wanda nodded. “We are like the teenage girls that are desperate to know everything about your sex life.”

That was a topic I was not ready to talk about. It was mostly because there was nothing to talk about and also, there was another story that I was not ready to share.

“Uh, there is nothing to tell. We didn’t do anything so far,” I replied nonchalantly, trying to act as if it was a normal thing. “We are taking our time.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N,” Natasha sighed, quickly changing her seat and sitting down next to me. “With this job and everything that is happening in the world, you need to find relief when you have a man by your side.”

I rolled my eyes. “I know…”

“I have noticed Bucky being a lot in the gym when we finish a mission,” said Wanda. “Because you are not letting off some steam, he has to do it alone in the gym.”

For a split second, I felt bad for him. Maybe he was already expecting something and I was not able to provide it. I sighed and drank the rest of the water.

“I love you girls, but I don’t want to talk about it,” after that, I stood up. “I just… can’t,” was the last thing I said to them and went into the kitchen to clean the glass. It was enough that I was struggling with it. I was not ready to talk about it with anyone, not even Bucky.

I could feel their confused glances when I walked away. I could only hope they would not follow me and talk about it. However, it was my lover that came to the kitchen to check up on me.

“Hey,” he smiled, stopping a few steps away from me. “Are you alright?”

Of course, their expression would make Bucky worry about me, so I put a simple smile on my face. “Yes, sure, you don’t have to worry. Go, have fun with boys. I’m going to my room to read a book or do some reports from the last mission. Few things are missing so I will put them there.”

“Alright,” he came closer to me and his hands wrapped around my waist. “I will come to check on you when I am done beating Sam’s ass.”

Him holding me like that made my knees weak. “You winning, Barnes?” I winked at him, grinning.

“I think I’m having a very lucky day today,” he deeply looked into my eyes. I wasn’t able to reply to it so he continued. “I mostly enjoy how angry he is when he loses. To be honest, we are just a game away until he’ll break something,” he laughed. After that, he kissed the top of my head. “Don’t work too much, alright, darling?”

I put a gentle smile on my face. “Of course,” and with that, I left him standing alone in the kitchen. My stomach was turning in every way and I became nervous. I knew what the sentence about being lucky was – he was hoping to finally sleep with me. Or maybe not and my mind was just playing with me.

I went back to my room and immediately started to work on the reports just to keep my mind occupied. I have noticed some spelling mistakes in Steve’s reports – it was mostly the old English that he knew, so I had corrected the sentences and closed the files, marking it as finished.

I had no idea how much time had passed. A knock on the door brought my mind back to the present and I turned to them. “Yes?” I answered, waiting for the intruder to come in.

Bucky stepped inside, wearing comfy sweatpants and a loose shirt. “Hey, you are still up?” he asked with a gentle smile.

“Of course I am. It is not that late.”

He had to laugh. “It is almost two in the morning. Are you still working?”

I took my phone and looked at the screen. I had no idea it was that late. “Ugh, yeah, I was working and finished like minutes ago, but I am done now. Thanks for checking on me. How was the game?” I closed my laptop and went to sit on my bed where Bucky joined me.

“Well, Sam had too many beers so it was very awkward to play with him. The girls also let loose a little so it was an interesting evening. We missed you there.”

“Well, next time, I will try to be there longer,” I yawned.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he asked with a genuine smile on his lips. “I would like to spend more time with you.”

I took a deep breath, quickly trying to say something. Should I let him stay the night or not, I thought. My lower lip trembled and I crossed arms over my breasts. “Uh,” I made a weird noise. My hands turned cold.

Bucky sighed and turned his whole body to me. “Alright, we need to talk. I can see that something is bothering you. I have noticed it a while ago. What is it? I am here for you. Talk to me.”

He was a sweetheart, worrying about me. “I-uh, is there?” I was becoming more nervous.

“Yes, there is. I can see it. As if you were afraid of something. Is it me?” The way he asked if it was him made my heartache. “A-are you scared of me or the hands?”

“No! No, of course, it is not you,” I quickly grabbed his hands into mine. “Don’t you dare think like that, Bucky. I am not afraid of you or scared of you or anything.” One of my hands went to his cheek and stroked it gently. “Never think that again, please. You are like a cute giant teddy bear that can be very protective of me,” I laughed a little, thinking back when he protected me at all cost during a mission.

He sighed in relief. “Well, I am glad. But there is something. I can see it in your eyes and the way you react. Please, talk to me and we will figure it out.”

There it was, the moment I had to let it all out and explain it to him. I was not prepared but I had to do it sooner or later. I made myself comfortable on the bed, as he did, facing each other. Immediately, I grabbed one of my pillows and hugged it.

“I am not ready to sleep with you,” I said quickly. “Because I- I have never slept with anyone.” Somehow, I couldn’t look into his eyes. The shame was unbearable. No, I was not ashamed. The other things were worse. “And there is a huge reason behind it.”

“Alright, tell me more,” he said calmly. “And please, don’t be ashamed. It is alright. I never wanted to pressure you or anything. I kind of figured it out.”

The way my face unpleasantly grinned made him chuckle. “Great so now that is out, I should start talking about the reasons why I have…” I was not able to form a proper sentence. “At first, I want you to think about one thing: have you ever seen me in something like Natasha or Wanda would wear - skinny clothes, beautiful, sexy dresses and bathing suits?”

I could see he was thinking very hard; trying to deep dive into the past months. “There was this one time that you wore this gorgeous dress at Tony’s party.”

“Yeah, that was the night we finally made the move and become a thing – Wanda was the one that picked the dress for me.”

“Well, she did a great job,” he winked at me. “Otherwise, I must say no.”

Taking a deep breath, I decided to deal with it like a normal adult – or, I tried. “I used to be fat!” I shouted it. My nerves got the best of me. “And there are some post-fat things still happening. I have loose skin on my stomach and my boobs are terrible and I just can’t…” I buried myself into the pillow, ready to cry. It was a tough thing to say out loud. My whole body was shaking. “Every time I wanted to be intimate with someone, I couldn’t… I still can’t. I am sick to my stomach and once the action starts I just want to vomit.”

There they were – the tears falling down my face. It was all too much for me. “I so want to but I can’t. I am fucking ugly and my body is devastated and it is my entire fault. Plus, my body just reacts the opposite way it should.”

“Oh, baby,” he sighed sadly and pulled me closer. His hands wrapped around me. “It’s okay. I will not pressure you or anything,” he whispered into my ear. “If you want, we can work on it together but believe me, you are not ugly. You are so beautiful and I love you so much.”

I stopped breathing for a moment and I had to look at him. “You love me?” I was surprised.

“Of course I love you, Y/N. I love you so much,” he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “In my eyes, you are perfect. You know, I have imperfections too and you accept me the way I am.”

“But you have the body of a god,” I sighed. “You are a handsome man and I don’t deserve you. You could have the most beautiful, perfect woman and here you are, stuck here with me.”

“Stop,” he put a hand over my mouth. “Don’t you dare do this to you,” he said strictly. “We will work on this and I will help you see yourself the way I see you – beautiful, sexy and perfect.”

“You think that?” I asked.

“Yes,” he nodded and kissed me lovingly on my lips. “Now, let’s go to bed and get some sleep, alright? I want you to relax. I will stay here tonight and we will get some rest, alright? And starting tomorrow, we will work on this, alright?”

I gave him another kiss. “Thank you, I love you too,” I whispered to him.

The smile he gave me afterwards was everything I ever wanted.

…

It was hard to believe that I finally found a man like Bucky. He didn’t force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with and, which made my heart melt, he was the one who started to show his love publically – or in front of our friends.

I was in the kitchen with Steve and Rhodes when Bucky came there too and headed right to me. He spun me around and deeply kissed my lips. “Hello beautiful,” he whispered and kissed me again which made my head spin. To be honest, I was enjoying this very much.

“Now that is a surprise,” Steve said.

“So now you two are full-on PDA?” Rhodey asked with a frown.

Neither of us reacted to them. “Want to go train to the gym?” Bucky asked me, eyes never leaving mine. He grabbed me by a hand and started to drag me out of the kitchen.

“I don’t have a choice,” I giggled.

Once we were away from the kitchen, he turned to me. “Today I have prepared something for you,” he said it calmly but my nerves were on high alert. “I have got you a new working outfit.”

“Oh,” I was relieved. “Alright, care to describe it for me?”

He smirked. “With Natasha’s help, I have a new pair of sculpting leggings for your and a sports bra.”

“And?” I was waiting for a shirt.

“That’s it.”

I sighed. “I can’t work out without a shirt,” I complained.

When we came to the gym, the outfit was waiting for me on the bench. The leggings were black with a purple stripe on sides. The bra was also purple. “Go put it on. No one will be here with us today.”

“Bucky…”

“Go,” he stroked my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. “I will be waiting here for you.”

Without any other choice, I went to the dressing room to change into the clothes. It took me more than dressing should. When I saw myself in the mirror, I wasn’t that terrified of the look as I thought I would be. The leggings were with a high waist and they formed my legs pretty nicely. My breast looked a bit smaller but also in better shape than normally.

I came back to the gym, ready to work out when I have noticed Bucky staring at me with an opened mouth. “You look sexy in those,” he pointed at me and grinned. “I think I did a good job.”

“You did,” I nodded. “And I don’t mind the skin that is showing under my boobs because that is not the worst part of my body,” I had to laugh. “Thank you Bucky,” a loving smile appeared on my face.

While we were working out, I have noticed the way Bucky was eyeing me. Occasionally, I have noticed how he had a hard time to focus and it made me blush a lot. And when I bent over to grab some weights, he was done. “Fuck, I can’t help it,” he groaned and came to me. His hand rested on my ass and he stroked the left cheek a little. “You are so fucking sexy Y/N. You have no idea what you are doing to me right now.”

Leaving the weights on the floor I stood up and turned to him. My eyes landed on the prominent hard-on he had. I had to look somewhere else because my face became red as hot pepper. “I- ugh…” I was speechless.

“No need to be ashamed,” he said. “At least you know what you do to me and how sexy you are,” he said it proudly. “I think our training is over. I need to take care of this,” he pointed at his crotch and I again blushed hardly and had to close my eyes.

“I feel bad,” I sighed. “I have brought this to you and I am not able to help you with that. Fuck,” I gulped dryly.

“It’s alright. I can take care of it,” he quickly kissed my cheek. “I will see you later, alright?” and after that, he quickly went into men’s dressing room.

I felt bad. I could feel how many men and women were judging me.

…

A few days later, we arrived back to the headquarters after a short but tough mission. All of us ended with bruises and cuts – some of us, including me, needed a few stitches. And, as always, I was lucky enough to have Bucky with me the whole time. He knew how scared I was of needles. I asked him if he could stay until it was done and he accepted with a tired smile.

After I was all patched, we went to an elevator, ready for a shower. “Can you come to my room once you are showered and changed?” Bucky kissed the top of my hair and I nodded. “We will have some food in my room and we can relax while watching a movie.”

“Sounds nice,” I said simply.

After that, our ways departed. I took a long hot shower and cleaned my body properly – getting rid of dirt while making sure my scares were protected from the water. I felt a new wave of energy hit me once I was fully dressed in comfortable loose clothes – no bra under the ACDC shirt, shorts, fluffy socks and wet hair up in a messy bun. Before I went to Bucky’s room, I made us a kettle of hot tea and brought it on a table with two mugs.

When I arrived in the room, the first thing I heard was the sound of running water. Bucky was still in the shower. I put the trey on a night table and made myself comfortable on his bed. I could smell his scent all over the sheets and it made me smile. Not only was he a fucking good looking man, but he even smelled good.

A minute later, I was spread on his bed as if it was mine and sniffed his pillows like a cat. How come his bed was more comfortable than mine? My eyes focused on the closed doors of the bathroom. If only I had more will to go there, get naked and just seal the deal. But no; here I was, rather staying on his bed, not doing anything and panicking when thought about sex came across my mind.

Why was I so afraid? That man said he loved me and I love him too. I huffed and buried my head under the sheets.

The door to the bathroom opened and I peeked up, to see Bucky. When my eyes landed on him, my mouth fell on the ground. He was standing there in nothing but a towel that was hanging low on his hips. My cheeks reddened and I wanted to hide into a hole. Yet I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on him, taking in his beauty and toned muscular body.

“Wow,” escaped my lips.

“Like something you see?” he asked mi with a wide grin on his face.

“I do,” I admitted quickly. “You are so beautiful, Bucky.” And a second later, I felt terrible. I was dating a very hot guy that could have a better woman by his side – a sexy one that would please him the way I couldn’t. And there it was, the damn feeling making my stomach turn in every direction. What if I was cursed and this was my punishment? “Maybe I should go,” I swiftly stood up from the bed, ready to leave.

Bucky grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me closer to his almost naked body. “No, no, no, darling,” he sighed and stroked my cheek with his vibranium fingers. “I can see your thoughts.”

“It’s just me and y-you, I mean you look… Have you seen you? And I’m just this…” I was rambling fast, slowly mentally falling apart. “I can’t do this to you. It’s not fair and you do deserve someone better that will give you everything that I can’t.”

A second later he made me sit back on his bed and he squatted in front of me. “Breathe,” he said gently. “First, I am not trying to make a move tonight,” he started to explain. “However, I did want to know your reaction seeing me like this,” he pointed at the fact that he was wearing a simple towel. “It’s cute that you are blushing and having this reaction. On the other hand, the way you still think that any other woman would be better for me – now that is a fucking bullshit. They would never be able to give me what you can.”

“Please, stop,” I put a finger over his lips to make him silent for a second. “I am also afraid that once you have a way with me, and see what is underneath the clothes, you will dump me the morning after. I am scared to believe you most of the things you say to me.”

“Someone did hurt your mind and soul,” he grabbed my hands into his. “I promise you that everything I say to you is true and I will do everything in my power to prove it to you. I will do whatever I can to make you feel comfortable, loved and sexy in your skin. That is the least I can do for you. You care for me, accepted the monster I am…”

After those words, I jumped onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. Tears fell on my cheek. It hurt me that he thought he was a monster. “Don’t you fucking dare to say that word to yourself,” I said, crying. “You are not a monster; you never were. Those fuckers did that to you, to an innocent man. You are so much more than you can imagine.” I took a deep breath. “I fucking love you so much, James. You deserve the world and someone better than me.”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” he wiped the tears away from my cheeks. “You want the best for me and you wouldn’t let yourself to have the same treatment.”

It made sense of what he said. I would do anything for him, even take the pain, but I would not let him do the same for me – I would not let anyone do the same thing for me.

“Don’t be afraid to let me in. I will not hurt you,” he added.

“I know,” I nodded, eyes falling on the floor. It was a struggle not to look between his legs where his towel was ending. “I want to let you in, I am trying.” Suddenly, I smiled. “I want to do everything with you, you know? Be playful, be clingy. Do the missions and work as well as doing the dirty stuff,” I blushed.

He laughed but instantly kissed my forehead. “We can do everything you want. But hear this – I will always be too protective of you, even during missions. I will not be forcing you into things you are not comfortable with and when it comes to the dirty stuff, we can slowly work on that as I promised.”

“And I will try to not be a prude.”

“You are not a prude.”

Just as Bucky stood up, his towel let loose right in front of my eyes and it fell on the floor. The moment we had was instantly gone and he was standing in front of me in all his glory – naked. My eyes widened and my cheeks were red as a tomato. Holy shit, he was thick.

“Sorry,” he laughed and took the towel, covering his penis.

“N-no, no, uh, i-it’s totally fine,” I stuttered. “I’ll just have something to think about.”

Bucky went to his drawers to pick up some sweatpants to put on. “Get into the bed and find a movie. I’ll be right with you.”

I did as told and hid under the covers, trying to find something on his TV that was on the wall, opposite the bed. Minutes later, Bucky was by my side, getting comfortable in the bed. I handed him a cup of tea and we started to watch Detective Pokémon – because I wanted to show him what my childhood was.

“Now I understand why you loved these creatures so much,” he said mostly to himself, but I heard it and laughed a little.

It was cute and I was glad that Bucky came to my life. I knew it was worth opening up to him and being more available. Thinking about everything that happened between us the last week or so, I kept going back to the feeling when something was about to happen between us. Maybe, it was not fear that was going through my body, but anticipation.

I took a quick look at Bucky who had his eyes focused on the screen, occasionally laughing. I smiled lovingly. This man was the one I was looking for.

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes x you #Bucky Barnes x female reader #Bucky x reader #Bucky x you #Bucky x female reader #James Barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchannan barnes #Marvel fanfiction #implied smut #insecurities #love #Bucky Barnes fanfiction

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