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My Borrowed Son | 20 | Crush(ed)

Chapter Twenty | Crush(ed)

“No! It’s because you’re a nerd and know way too much about space,” teased Selina. Both she and Parker were howling with laughter after an in-depth conversation about space and the different elements of it.

Space. Stars. Comets. Black holes. Meteors and meteorites.

Everything Selina had a question about, Parker had an answer for, which naturally led to her teasing him. They had spent the past few hours going back and forth in discussion, playfully talking and teasing one another the entire time.

And this wasn’t the first time they’d spent most of a Saturday morning talking well into the afternoon and sometimes evening. For the past few months, the two of them could be found talking to one another either on discord or through messaging apps.

For Parker, it was a good distraction from the past few weeks during his relative obsession with the mysterious drill bit and the odd shadow he thought he saw when his eyes were playing tricks on him. Just last week, he even dared to venture into the walls and explore that mysterious space between the drywall and the supporting beams that made up his home.

He didn’t find anything, not that he thought he would, but there was still some odd sensation lingering in his chest that there was something that he was missing.

“I mean, seriously!” grinned Selina as she leaned forward toward her webcam. Parker snapped back to the conversation and kept his mind from wandering any further into the unknown. “Why do you know that there are almost ten thousand satellites orbiting Earth right now?”

“Nine thousand, four hundred, ninety-four active satellites. Let’s be precise,” grinned Parker.

“Oh what-ev-er!” Selina giggled. “What I want to know is how you managed to steer the conversation into space when we were talking about our upcoming Mario Kart tournament.”

Parker, grinning from ear to ear, felt his cheeks pinken as he looked up into the camera, imagining looking into Selina’s eyes instead of the cold lens that was in front of him.

“Well, you know there are a lot of different themes and arenas to choose from when playing Mario Kart and we were trying to decide which one would be the best. I think that the space themed one would be best,” pointed out Parker.

Somehow, the room was feeling a tad warm, and Parker was feeling nervous and giddy. It was like butterflies were swirling around in his chest. What was this feeling?

“I know, but there are a dozen other designs we could go with. There’s the original and the rainbow road. I love the rainbow road!” moaned Selina playfully. Parker chuckled and shook his head.

“We always do rainbow road. We need to mix things up a bit. Come on! We need to make a decision to send out in the group text today,” said Parker. He reached up and ruffled his hair, noticing that the length was starting to get a tad long and that his mom was probably going to notice any day now.

“Oh, don’t be a spoil sport,” Selina teased. “Why don’t you come on! We need to celebrate! We just finished finals. You, as usual, were in the top three – ya’ nerd – but I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

Parker’s cheeks burned hot with embarrassment. It was true. The finals went off without a hitch and Parker found his scores near the top of his peers, which was significant considering he was in the advanced classes with kids who were a little bit older than himself. The scores, for Parker, were a tad bittersweet.

On one hand, being part of the top meant that Parker was on a lot of honors emails and celebrations and shout-outs. It looked really good for his transcripts, especially since he was already considering specialized high schools and college programs that accepted students who were much younger than the average student.

Parker considered himself fortunate enough that his mother wasn’t pressuring him into any particular program. She wanted him to be happy, but the one thing that would really make Parker happy came with the bitter part of the bittersweet.

A lot of those accolades and awards came with get-togethers and parties – none of which Parker could attend except virtually.

It wasn’t the same.

Parker wanted to be able to go to these parties. He wanted to see his friends in person. He had known a lot of these people for three years and he had never met them face to face. Even the upcoming Mario Kart tournament was going to be in-person at his friend Bailey’s house, but everyone but Parker would be able to show up.

“Parker?”

“Hm?... oh… yeah,” stammered Parker as he found focus back on the conversation. He remembered Selina calling him a nerd after talking about finishing finals and not expecting anything less from him. “I am a bit of a nerd.”

Selina eyed Parker through the camera and leaned forward, those hypnotic eyes capturing Parker’s attention. He squirmed under her gaze. It was like she could see straight through him. If he wasn’t sure she didn’t know about his size, he would say that she guessed it simply because of this one look.

“Parker? Are you okay?” asked Selina. It was a question Parker didn’t care for recently. He wanted to answer honestly – which was no. No, he didn’t feel okay. Everything in his body was hurting and aching randomly. He didn’t feel comfortable in his own frame, and that was coming from him and his proud nearly four inches. His dreams had been odd recently. He was so spooked because he thought he saw a shadow that he literally ventured into the walls to find out if he was crazy.

But how could he articulate it? How could he get Selina to understand?

“Bummed about not coming to the party?” Selina’s prompting question brought a whole new level to Parker’s mental scramble, so he decided to go with that being the main reason.

“Yeah, a bit,” mumbled Parker. “But it’s okay. I’ll be able to call in through Discord.”

Selina rolled her eyes, which was a classic Selina move, and shook her head.

“I still can’t believe you put up with that,” she grumbled. This comment took Parker aback just a bit, and it wasn’t like him to just leave it alone. He decided to ask for clarification.

“Put up with that?” Parker asked. Selina gave an animated shrug and flared her fingers as if to say “duh.”

“Yeah, constantly being on lockdown. You talk about you having some weird condition that makes you fragile, but you don’t seem all that fragile to me. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. Can’t you ask your mom to let you come just this once?” said Selina. Her tone took on a weird combination of whining and pleading.

The familiar disappointing sensation crept over Parker, making his chest feel tight, as he solemnly shook his head.

“Selina, I can’t. I mean, I could ask my mom, but… my condition… I don’t think it’s a good idea,” said Parker.

“But why?” insisted Selina.

“Selina…”

“What? You’ve never really given a straight answer.”

“Because not everyone would be careful with me,” said Parker, for the first time raising his voice in frustration. He hoped Selina would drop the issue, but the determined look in her eye said otherwise. In fact, she looked terse and frustrated.

“Well… I’d be careful with you….” Selina grumbled. “And what does that even mean? Careful with you? Parker, I hope you know I’d never hurt you. I… I really like you…”

Parker’s world came to a complete stop hearing Selina’s words.

Like? Like him?

As in… she had a crush on him?

It would absolutely make sense. It would explain Selina’s behavior recently. She was very complementary. She was giddy and giggling most of the time. It reminded Parker of the romantic comedies that his mom liked to watch from time to time.

Parker remembered his mom talking to him about how things would be changing and the odd question of whether or not he liked any of his classmates. Only now did the teen realize this is what she meant.

Taken aback, Parker felt himself stammer, “L-like? Me?” before he could even stop himself. Selina, now blushing a bright pink, nodded bashfully.

“Yeah. I really like you, and I was hoping you would go with me to the party as my boyfriend.”

Parker’s head swirled. His heart was going to burst out of his chest. Everything was tingling inside of him. His insides actually felt like they were filled with butterflies now.

“I… you mean it?” asked Parker. Selina glanced up at the camera and bit her lower lip, which made Parker feel his heart begin to race, as she nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I mean it. So? Will you be my boyfriend?” asked Selina. Parker took in a couple nervous breaths. He thought about how Selina made him feel and how he felt excited and jittery when they were talking.

Was this love?

Parker wasn’t sure, but he knew he did like Selina.

“Well… yeah. Let’s do it,” grinned Parker. Both of them couldn’t stop smiling as they continued to glance nervously at one another through the camera. The young teen felt at a loss for words, but less than a minute had passed when Selina broke the silence.

“Great! Now, as my boyfriend, you have to tell me everything about you. Do I even know your favorite color? Oh, that’s right! It’s green. Like dark green. Okay. Got that. Um… yeah! So, tell me more about your mom. No. Wait. I can ask her when I meet her. Um… let’s see… Oh! I’ve got it!

“Since you’re my boyfriend and you always have to tell the truth to whatever question I ask, tell me more about your condition. Like, what makes you fragile? And you have to ask your mom – no, tell your mom that you’re going to the party.” Selina spouted off everything so fast that Parker’s head was starting to spin.

Some of what Selina said made a bit of sense. Honesty was a good policy, according to his mom, but he had never opened up to anyone about the specifics of his condition. Parker had always been secretive simply because he knew his condition was rare and that things were odd surrounding it.

It was now that the same sensation crept over him that kept him guarded. It was the same sensation that made Parker shy away from his mom’s hand and the feeling that led him into the walls.

For one reason or another, Parker’s instinct was to keep his condition a secret – and that’s what he did.

“Um… well… I… don’t know what else there is to say about it other than what I’ve told you,” said Parker, realizing how lame he sounded after the words came out of him. The look Selina gave him only confirmed that he was in trouble.

“Parker, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. You can trust me with this. Don’t you trust me?” Selina bristled.

Parker felt taken aback and defensive all of a sudden. He’d never come across something like this before. He felt hollow and nervous, but also a bit angry.

Why was this an issue now? She’d never wanted to know before, so why was there additional pressure now?

“Selina, I do trust you. It’s just… there’s nothing else to tell,” urged Parker. He felt the same sensation creep over him as he kept his condition a secret – and it was one of reassurance. For whatever reason, Parker knew he was doing the right thing not saying anything else other than what his mom trained him to say.

Selina tossed her hair and folded her arms before retorting, “I don’t believe you. I don’t think you’re telling me the truth. If I were Bailey, I’d bet you’d tell. You two are sooo close.”

“Bailey? What does Bailey have to do with this? And of course we’re close. We’re best friends. Why are you bringing her into this? We were just talking about the get-together,” asked Parker, meaning to ask this to himself instead of out loud, but there was no retracting his words now.

“Oh, I don’t know. What does she have to do with this? Does she know? Would you tell her more if she asked,” accused Selina.

Disbelievingly, Parker shook his head as it began to swirl. “Selina, Bailey doesn’t have anything to do with this. She knows just as much as you do, which is what all of my friends know about me. I’m just a bit fragile and different. That’s all.”

What is happening? Where is this coming from?

“Parker, I can’t accept this. If you don’t tell me, I’m breaking up with you,” threatened Selina.

Parker couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Breaking up? They were barely together? Was this how all girls were?

He knew he liked Selina, but he wasn’t sure if he liked her in the same way. Sure, he enjoyed their time together, but all of this was really sudden.

Not only that, but Parker inevitably knew that his condition was something that Selina would have to deal with. He knew the lengths his mom went to in order to help him. Was that something Selina would be up to? Did he dare disclose his condition in full to save this five minute long relationship?

A million things hit him all at once, both for the immediate situation in front of him and for a future he felt like he was too young to comprehend.

He bit his lip as he felt himself crushed under the weight of what Selina just said. It was a lot – possibly too much – for right now. As much as he liked Selina, Parker wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell her everything.

Parker made his decision.

Between his instinct of keeping his height and condition close to his chest and Selina’s sudden erratic behavior, he knew what needed to happen.

“I… I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else to tell,” said Parker. Selina rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Well, I guess that’s the end of that. Goodbye Parker. Have fun telling your girlfriend Bailey the same thing and see how she reacts. Next time a girl wants you to open up, maybe you should listen.” With that, the call was cut.

Parker, dazed and confused, felt like he had been punched in the gut repeatedly. He hoped he didn’t just lose his friend, and he hoped that none of his other friends were feeling the same way Selina was. If they were just as frustrated with Parker’s lack of additional explanation about his condition as Selina was, he would be friendless by the start of the party.

Chest heavy and sad, Parker closed down his computer, slunk over to his bed, and flopped down on the squashy mattress. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes as he contemplated everything that just happened.

Curses…

Yet another thing he would never be able to do face to face…

Why?

Why him?

Why was he so different?

And would he ever find that true sense of belonging?

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