#I feel like the writing on this page is a bit wonky but that’s ok

[sutothefuture]

Page 25

#I’ve been dreading this page cuz I’ve never drawn Greg successfully #he always looked.... off lol #in the og storyboards for the au he looked super wack #steven universe #steven universe au #ttfabab #ttfabab au #su #su au #ttfabab story #not a story ask #I feel like the writing on this page is a bit wonky but that’s ok #iF eVeRy PoRkChOp WeRe PeRfEcT-

[persepholline]

I've read that article about the romanticization of the Darkling and while I absolutely understand people who are pissed off/sad and I agree that it's shitty, I find LB's attitude towards Darkles stans very funny in a "girl what are you doing" sort of way because it's so petty like I've never heard of a bestselling author writing a portion of their fans into their books as a crazy cult before, it clearly hit a nerve

I'm new to the fandom but the feeling I get is she wrote something problematic ten years ago and became very embarrassed about it afterwards so she turned on the fans that liked it as a way to absolve herself. Especially since fandoms in general have become a lot more focused on discussion of what constitutes healthy/acceptable relationships to write about. And in a way I get it I had a huge Twilight phase in high school and afterwards I was super embarassed about it because of how problematic and cringe it was. But now with distance and more maturity I'm able to both still see why it was problematic and also why I was drawn to it (mostly the very unhinged representation of female desire) and like...it's really not the end of the world and no it never made me believe that breaking into somebody's room at night to watch them sleep was actually ok in real life lmao. This feels so obvious to me but apparently it needs to be said.

(More under the break this is turning into an essay, I've been thinking of this a lot recently)

And of course it's good to have these discussions about how historically romance tropes have echoed social dynamics of men's shitty behavior being romanticized and excused. But these days they often are so simplistic and focused on chasing clout that they become this weird new puritanism and moral panic about oh now women are reading novels it's going to make them hysterical or something

So you have these weird assumptions that you can't like a character and also be critical of their actions, or enjoy certain parts of a character and not others, or wish they were written differently and like them more for their potential (which I'm sure stings a bit for an author lol) - it assumes that if you like a character it means you would approve of their actions in real life, or that people just stupidly reproduce whatever they see on TV. That tendency to treat fictional characters like real people is the thing that actually worries me, to be honest, because it indicates a lack of distance and critical capacities regarding how stories are used and received. But people - fans and authors - are so scared of being called out as problematic and harassed for it that they're going to shy away from any nuance.

And yeah I think that it's good that standards of what constitutes an ideal relationship are evolving and becoming more feminist and communicative and all that and we definitely need more of that. But not all fiction has to be aspirational! Sometimes you just want to read about fucked up shit, because it's cathartic or fascinating, even healing at times because with fiction you are absolutely in control and can choose when to close the book. Toxic relationships in fiction can have an appeal specifically because they go to extremes of feeling that we don't want to go to in reality, in exactly the same way as horror movies or very violent action movies - which I don't see a lot of people besides fundamentalist Christians argue that they turn you into violent psychopaths (and that feels very obviously sexist). And for women, who are often taught growing up that love is the purpose of life, the "saving someone with your ability to love" can be a power fantasy in the same way that being a buff superhero who saves the day with their capacity for incredible violence can be a power fantasy for men. Still doesn't mean those women are going to fall in love with actual murderers or that those men are going to start beating up people at night. And love is scary, and weird, and weirdly close to horror at times, with all the potential for loss of self and being vulnerable and overwhelming feelings and potential for being horribly hurt and it should be possible for stories to explore that without anybody screaming about how this is going to Corrupt the Youth or something

And I mean I get it LB wanted to write a cautionary tale for teenagers, but it just did not work for reasons a lot of people have already written about - the fact that the Darkling is the leader of an oppressed minority and is the only one with a real political agenda to end that oppression in the first trilogy, the fact that he helps Alina come into her own power while her endgame LI is someone she keeps herself small for, that she's shamed for wanting power after growing up without any, a generally very wonky conception of privilege, and a lot of other stuff with yucky regressive implications to the point where stanning the villain actually feels liberating and empowering which is a surefire sign that the narrative is broken (unless it's a villain focused story lmao). But of course that Fanside article makes almost no mention of the political dynamics, it's all about interpersonal stuff which is an annoying trend in YA, there are those massive events happening in the background but it's made all about the feelings of the hero(ine) ; war as a self-development quest (which is kind of gross). Helnik is kind of an example of this too - I like them, I think they're fun ! But Matthias spends a big part of the story wanting to brutally murder Nina and her kind, and he mostly changes his mind because he finds her hot. Like you don't feel there is some sort of big revelation that his entire moral system and political framework is completely rotten ; it's all better because of feelings now.

As a teenager that kind of sanctimonious bullshit would have annoyed the hell out of me ; I read those books in my early twenties and I found the ending so stupid I wouldn't have trusted any message or life lessons coming from them. And I liked reading/watching dark stuff as a teenager, as a way to deal with the very intense inner turmoil I was dealing with - and I turned out fine ! Meanwhile I've seen several times women in very shitty relationships being obsessed with positive energies and stories ; they were so terrified of their life not being perfectly wholesome they ended up being delusional about their own situations.

Like personally I think the Darkling is a compelling, interesting, alluring character and also a manipulative, murderous piece of shit and that Alina should get to punish him (like in a sexy way) - but he's also the end result of centuries of war, oppression and trauma and reducing that to "toxic wounded boy" feels kind of offensive ngl ESPECIALLY since the books don't offer any kind of systemic analysis or response to oppression beyond "the bad guy should die" and "now the king/queen is a good guy our problems are solved!!!!"

In Lives of the Saints, we see how Yuri is abused extremely badly and almost killed by his father, and so when his father dies when the Fold swallows Novokribirsk, he thinks the Starless Saint has saved him. Later in KoS/RoW he's turned into this fanatic who explains away all the Darkling's crimes. The other followers talk about how the Starless Saint will bring equality for all men. Then the Darkling comes back and actually thinks his followers are pathetic, which feels again like a very pointed message to his IRL stans. Which is absolutely hilarious to me. Like oh no, if he was real he would not like you and think you're pathetic ! Yeah ...but he's not. Real. Damn right he would not like the fics where Alina puts him on a leash. I'm still going to read them. What is he going to do about it, jump out of the page ? Jfjfjjdhfgfjfj

Anyway I think the intended message is "assholes will use noble political causes for their own gain and to manipulate people" and "being abused/oppressed is not an excuse to behave badly." Which. Sure. But that's kind of like...a tired take, honestly ? A big number of villains nowadays are like this ; either they've been bullied as kids, or they're part of an oppressed group, or they have "good ideals but too extreme". This is not surprising because a lot of mainstream heroic narratives present clinging to the status quo as Good and change as chaotic and dangerous. And like sure in real life people often do bad shit because they're wounded and in danger. But if you want to do a story like that, you have to do it with nuance, talk about cycles of violence, about how society creates vulnerable people to be exploited, about how privilege gives you more choices and the luxury of morals, etc. The Grishaverse does not have this level of nuance (maybe in SoC a little bit but definitely not in TGT). So it kind of comes off as "trauma makes you evil" and "egalitarianism is dangerous" and "if you're abused/oppressed you're not allowed to fight back". And ignores the fact that historically, evil generally comes from unchecked privilege.

I guess my point is that there are many things I like about LB's writing, she knows how to create these really exciting character dynamics, and the world she has created is fascinating. But these stories are not a great starting point for imparting moral lessons. And her best characters tend to be, at least in canon, the morally grey ones. I hope one day she'll be at peace with the fact that she wrote the Darkling the way she did and leave his fans alone but in the meantime I'm just not going to take this whole thing seriously I'm sorry

#darklina #the darkling #alina starkov #aleksander morozova

[softyoongiionly]

BlackHeart Bakery

Who says Halloween can’t be romantic?

Pairing: Emo! Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Genre: fluff

A/N: HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE. I love you, I hope you like it. I’m sorry it isn’t longer but, I still can’t wait for you to read it.

-you never imagined that the quirky lil bakery down the street from your university would change your life  

-But it did

-“Omg shut up, you’re so dumb.”

-“Rawr xD”

-“Did you just say rawr xD out loud??? That totally defeats the purpose of its existence...”

-“Don’t cite the deep magic to me witch, I was there when it was written.”

-“And now you’re quoting the chronicles of narnia- alright just go back to sleep you big dummy...”

-“Mmm but you married a big dummy so what does that say about you”

-“Jungkook don't spoil it oh my god!”

-“Like they don’t know what’s coming already- spoiler alert losers! I get the girl.”

-“I hate you...”

-“Mm yeah- I love it when you talk dirty to me baby. The last time you said that- we ended up fuc-“

-“Ok! That’s enough! Our story begins...”

-Jungkook’s bakery was quite famous around your city

-If people didn’t come for the gaudy Halloween decorations  

-They came for the music  

-Exclusively pop punk, if you’re wondering

-It was like 2009 everyday  

-Which was comforting, considering the world has gotten a little

-Tricky

-Since then

-But anyways

-If they didn’t come for the music or the decorations

-They came for the AMAZING espresso  

-And the spooky themed treats

-But if you’re being honest

-You think the main thing that keeps them coming back

-Is Jungkook  

-If his sweeping black hair didn’t get you

-Or the adorable cheeky twinkle in his eyes

-It was the tattoos and the piercings  

-He looked like he walked right off of a black veil brides music video set  

-He was hot

-This was obvious

-But he didn’t seem to think so

-You had come to the conclusion that he was oblivious  

-he shoved his feet into his big black doc martens every morning  

-Slipped on his beaded bracelets and studded chokers

-Pulled his fall out boy t-shirt over his

-Massive

-Tattooed

-Biceps

-And just thought hm

-I’m pretty average I guess (lol)

-That’s a direct quote from him btw

-Men truly are hopeless

-Jungkook opened the bakery two years ago

-He had mentioned to you that he had saved up money from his 3 part time jobs to put a down payment on the building  

-Which was wedged between a sex shop

-And a thrift store

-And honestly his bakery

-Blackheart Bakery, if you’re being specific  

-Fits right in

-Jungkook refuses to hire new staff

-“They won’t do it right.” He whined to you one day

-“One time I tried to hire this guy and he put the sugared googly eyes on the cookie skeletons ALL WRONG”

-“How do you put googly eyes on wrong?” You had giggled

-“you just do- i- See? This is exactly why I can’t hire anyone...”

-You had started chewing on the end of your pencil in the midst of your laughter

-It was an unconscious habit

-And it makes Jungkook shift uncomfortably, his hands moving off of the top of your table

-“Don’t do that...” he had muttered, smirking to himself as he walked back behind the counter  

-he did that a lot

-He’d mutter something  

-Mildly flirtatious under his breath and then  

-Just walk away

-It was quite confusing

-But honestly you had a feeling he was just a filrty person  

-You certainly weren’t the only girl he smirked at

-Not that you pay attention

-Ok  

-Maybe you do  

-Kinda  

-Pay attention  

-but it’s not your fault!!!!  

-You just  

-Can’t help but feel a little jealous

-You kiiiiiinda have a little thing for him

-Ok

-Maybe it’s a big thing  

-Maybe it’s a massive

-Gigantic

-Towering  

-Crush  

-But look at him!!!

-You simply couldn’t be blamed

-It was his fault  

-Yep

-That’s what you’re going with

-It was Jungkook

-And his tight t shirts

-His ripped jeans

-His dangly earrings

-His tattoos

-His big

-Stupid boots

-Ugh ok

-Focus  

-You have work to do

-The whole reason you began coming to Jungkook's cafe was so you -could find a consistent place to study for your exams

-You were in school to become a teacher :)  

-And teachers have to study very very hard  

-Educating the youth is no easy feat  

-Jungkook had asked what you were studying during the first week you arrived at his spooky house of baked goods

-“Oh I’m an education major”

-“Ahh so you’re getting an education about...education.” He concludes

-“I love it.”

-“So meta.”

-“Are they educating you on the disparities between impoverished children and wealthier children?”

-His wide eyes were brimming with genuine curiosity  

-You kind of got a kick out of how candid he was about such heavy conversation topics

-“Not as much as they should be but, I’m actually writing a paper on a similar topic right now...”

-This caused a brilliant grin to come over his face

-It was almost blinding really

-And it made your heartbeat all wonky  

-“Of course you are. You look smart like that...”

-He had backed away from your table then, seemingly satisfied

-Had you passed the vibe check?

-“I’ll leave you to your paper.” He nodded to your laptop but as he walked away, he pivoted back towards you on and the heel of his combat boot, “welcome to Blackheart Bakery by the way, let me know if I can get you anything.”

-Another brilliant smile is sent your way  

-“Thank you.” You had smiled back, sending a tiny wave his way

-Which in turn, made HIS heartbeat all wonky  

-You’re cute

-Like really cute

-And despite how often it may seem like his eyes are elsewhere

-They are ALWAYS on you

-Every chance he gets he is glancing your way

-Smirking to himself at how endearing you are

-Brow furrowed

-Lips pouted in concentration  

-Completely oblivious to his gaze

-He has to remind himself to look away  

-He doesn’t want to be a creep

-“Creepy men deserved to get kicked in the teeth...”

-He’s said this to you before when another patron had made you uncomfortable

-Jungkook kicked him out immediately  

-“If you don’t leave, I’ll have no choice but to kick you in the teeth. One, because I can’t compromise my personal philosophy and two because you’re making my favorite customer uncomfortable.”

-Oh look there goes your heartbeat again

-WONKY

-The guy leaves in an angry rush, flipping Jungkook off in the process

-Saying something about leaving a bad Yelp review  

-He doesn’t care tho

-He definitely doesn’t want to be a creep

-You’re just so  

-Pretty

-Ugh

-He rolls his eyes at himself behind the espresso bar

-The latte in front of him neglected  

-In need of a bit of foam

-“Focus Jeon, she’s just a chick...”

No wait

-“She’s just a woman. A woman who I respect, like I respect all women...”

-He’s been watching a lot of feminist theory on YouTube

-He likes staying educated  

-And also fuck the patriarchy

-The man waiting for his drink has arched a brow at this point, wondering if his barista has lost his mind

-“Uhhh medium...” he checks the cup for his awful hand writing, “ghostly toasted marshmallow latte!”

-“Thanks.” The guy mutters, throwing a judging look Jungkook's way  

-He gives him a lazy salute as the guy struts away with a briefcase in tow

-“Thaaanks.” Jungkook mocks him, his face scrunching up in annoyance  

-Stupid man

-With his stupid briefcase  

-As Jungkook is pulling out a batch of cream cheese frosting stuffed pumpkin muffins  

-Or as Jungkook calls them

-PUNK-in Muffins

-Movement at the counter catches his eye

-is that

-”oh shit...” He grunts, hastily wiping his hands on his apron and rushing over to the counter

-normally he would meander

-stroll

-or even slump to greet any new guests at this hour

-and by this hour

-he means 45 minutes before closing

-Jungkook’s bakery is open til midnight on weeknights

-9pm on Sundays

-and 3am on Saturdays (for the culture of course, gotta keep it spooky)

-tonight happens to be a Friday night and the person awaiting his assistance is

-you

-”You’re still here?” He gawks, the black polish on his nails glimmering as he punches in a few keys on the register

-You offer him a tired and slightly amused smile, “No. Y/N died around 4:30, you’re speaking to her ghost. Please leave your message after the tone.”

-Jungkook cracks a smile, his palms resting on flat on the counter, “Do ghosts check their voicemails?”

-“Oh of course not but, I will be checking yours because you have access to caffeine.”

-Jungkook laughs

-no...he giggles  

-and it’s fucking cute

-but you digress

-“I feel like I should cut you off...this is your 4th latte; I’m pretty sure you’re 80% caffeine at this point...”

-“Noooo, don’t do that.” You whine slumping against the counter, “I just need to finish this one page...”

-He quirks a brow as he scribbles something on your cup, unimpressed with your statement, “You said that three hours ago. I’ll make you another one but I’m not putting an extra shot in.”

-Your face turns up in protest but he click his tongue against his teeth , shaking a manicured finger at you

-“Ah ah- nope. I don’t want to hear it. You either take that or I’m making you a hot chocolate and shutting the buildings power off.”

-With a dramatic sigh, you concede

-“Ugh fine. Here-” You go to hand him your debit card but he shakes his head

-“Put that away.”

-You want to protest but given the fact that he’s made the rules thus far during this interaction, you doubt you’d be able to stop him.

-A smile appears on your face then, appreciative of his generosity

-“Thank you.”

-He merely grins, waving you off before rolling up the sleeves of his black Blink 182 shirt

-as soon as his tattoos are out

-all the moisture leaves your mouth

-you try your hardest not to stare at him

-expertly, he eases the espresso shots into the milk, tongue poking between his lips in concentration

-and you

-being sleep-deprived

-and a little loopy

-decide to  

-flirt????????

-if you could even call it that

-which you could but you shouldn’t

-“For the record, when I finally dig my way out of this of mountain of death I’m stuck in, I will definitely take you up on that hot chocolate...”

-Jungkook’s brow quirks at the tone of your voice, his hands suddenly itching with nerves

-was that

-was that flirty?

-should he flirt back?

-“My hot chocolate is legendary. You won’t be disappointed.” His lips display a small grin as he places the lid atop your finished latte, “Also mountain of death is a great name and I WILL be stealing it.”

-You giggle

-again

-“and I WILL be suing you for copyright.”

-He laughs now, wiping up the bit of milk he spilled

-the sinewy muscles in his forearm tensing and untensing

“Good luck getting me to show up to court.”

-and that’s kinda how it was between you and Jungkook

-for like six months

-it was a little bit flirty but never anything to push either over you over the edge.

-and speaking of being on edge

-recently, you had gone from vacationing in your timeshare on the edge

-to signing a 35 year mortgage contract  

-4 bedrooms

-2.5 bathrooms

-of pure

-unrelenting

-stress

-you could feel it in the middle of your back

-shoving itself up between your shoulder blades

-your body seemed to ache with it

-the worst part being

-it was Halloween

-You should be out with your friends, having fun

-wearing itchy costumes and drinking sugary drinks

-but instead, your headed towards the bakery to work

-Jungkook was behind the counter, smiling happily at a family dressed like the cast of scooby doo

-from what you could see he was wearing a skeleton onesie

-his jet black hair tousled perfectly above his head

-he looked adorable

-(and hot)

-He notices you instantly, his face turning up in surprise

-you offer up a small wave and head over to your table

-you know he’s going to say something about you being there but

-you don’t really have much of a choice

-this work has to be done

-it takes him a second to spot you but when he does

-he seems to perk up

-his smile brightening as he looks back towards his customer

-as you’re setting everything up, you feel a presence (not the spooky kind) at the end of your table

-it’s Jungkook and he has your regular order in one hand, along with something wrapped in skeleton-patterned parchment paper

-“I know, I know.” You acknowledge before he’s even able to chide you for being here

-He smirks “What are you doing studying on the holiest day of the year??”

-You giggle

-“The holiest day of the year huh?”

-“Of course. Halloween is the one night a year that the homies can dress like total -sluts and no one can say anything about it.”

-This makes you giggle again

-“And you went with slutty skeleton huh? I love it- it’s like as naked as you can possibly get.”

-He chuckles, gesturing to his costume

-His floppy black hair getting in his face

-“Damn right baby.”

-The way he grins tells you the pet name is a joke

-But the deepening of his voice gets to you anyway

-“Thank you for this. I promise I’ll get out of your hair early tonight.”

-“The only thing I’m worried about getting out of my hair is this white spray paint. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

-He’s put a streak of white spray paint in his raven locks

-Why? You’re not certain

-Does it look good on him, like everything else does?

-Absolutely

-Its been a few hours since your night of studying began

-Jungkook’s dropped off two free lattes since you’ve arrived  

-As well as a slice of his ‘I write cinnamon not tragedies’ bread

-Which was equally hilarious and delicious

-You caught him glancing over at your table a few times but you didn’t think anything of it

-He’s probably just checking to make sure that no one needs your table

-His bakery is packed most nights but Halloween is a special night at Blackheart Bakery

-He has a trick or treat counter set up with free (homemade) candy

-A photo op complete with a fake haunted house backdrop

-A Halloween playlist

-And a bunch of discounts on his signature lattes and food

-you watch him amongst the chaos

-He is completely unfazed

-He seems elated at the amount of customers he has

-he grins and laughs at something a man dressed like Thor says at his counter

-he seems entirely in his element

-you realize that the denial tactics you’ve been trying out haven’t been working

-because this floppy haired, tattooed, slutty skeleton/baker kind of has a hold on your heart

-you’ve been friends for a long time now

-he always makes sure you’re taken care of

-he always asks if you’re ok

-he always gives you this little grin

-it feels like a secret sometimes

-but maybe it’s been his way of letting you know where he stands

-he’s been bringing you lattes and pastries for months now

-he never charges you full-price

-he always reminds you not to work too hard

-he

-fuck

-he likes you doesn’t he?

-you look back over at the counter to see him bending over and handing a skeleton cookie to a little girl dressed like Captain Marvel

-he laughs at something she says

-his eyes focused entirely on her and whatever she seems to be proclaiming to him  

-your heart goes wonky again

-alright

-enough is enough

-you’re doing this  

-Jungkook’s done so much of the work thus far

-it’s time for you to seal the deal

-and if he rejects you, well…

-you can just crawl into a hole and never come out again

-easy peasy

-You can feel his eyes on you as you get up to take your place in line

-luckily there isn’t anyone else behind you

-rejection with an audience would certainly be worse

-Jungkook has his witty comment ready for you as you approach the register

-“I know for a fact you haven’t finished your third latte and I’m not making you another one until-“

-“I’m not here for another latte.” You laugh, trying to ignore the thrashing of your heartbeat

-“No? Well, are you finally going to try my Welcome to the Blackened Chicken Parade Burger then? I’ve been asking you for like three weeks…”

-god he’s fucking cute

-“I’m here to ask you out.”

-Jungkook swears he feels his heart stop

-“You’re here to…”

-He repeats the first part of your response as his he didn’t hear you

-his black fingernails anxiously tapping against the countertop

-“I’m here to ask you out- on a date.”

-Jungkooks face seems to go through various stages of confusion before a shy smirk presents itself on his pretty mouth

-“Me? You’re asking me-“ He places a hand on his chest, “-out on a date?”

-“Yes!” You laugh, slapping the counter a bit too hard, your nerves getting the best of you, “Are you down?”

-He shakes his head but his answer contradicts his movements

-“So down, beyond down. There is no one on Earth who is more DOWN than I am. Yes. My answer is yes. 50000% yes.”

-you can’t help the smile on your lips

-“great. So are you free next Friday then?”

-He grins with his teeth this time, nodding emphatically  

-“Consider the shop closed.”

-and so it was

-you returned to your table moments later  

-feeling on top of the world

-you did it

-you asked Jungkook out

-and he said yes

-and now you

-NOW YOU HAVE A DATE WITH JUNGKOOK

-LOOK AT YOU GO

-TAKING CHARGE

-you try your best to engage with your studies but with Jungkook on your mind

-its really hard

-roughly two hours later, things at the bakery have finally started to slow down

-“Hey uh- Y/N?”

-Jungkook's voice that pulls you out of your studying trance

-he’s standing at the entrance of his back room, waving you over with his hand

-and who are you to deny him?

-you make your way over there, annoyed at the instant increase in your heartrate

-he stands awkwardly to the side and gestures to the boxes on the metal rack

-“I just remembered that I’ve never given you a tour of the place. I give all my regulars a tour of the stockroom and my office and uh-”

-he cuts himself off and clumsily cups your cheek

-he pulls you into a kiss

-a really good kiss

-his lips are so warm

-he smells like cinnamon

-you could literally die happy

-The ridiculous nature of his first attempt to kiss you, makes you giggle into his mouth

-you feel him smile, his hands smushing your cheeks together as he pulls away

-“Ok I lied. There is no tour. I’ve just been watching you focus on your computer for the last two hours and you’re just really fucking cute and-”

-this time, it’s you who cuts him off

-“You better give me an actual tour next time. How else am I going to steal your secret recipes?”

-he scoffs in mock offense

-“Ah ha! So that’s the only reason you asked me out huh? Should I be calling you Plankton instead of Y/N? Ew no wait- that would make me Mr. Krabs and he’s a dirty capitalist...”

-You laugh, “Oooh good point. Guess you’ll just have to be Karen, my computer wife.”

-This makes him laugh now and the sound warms your soul

-“I could live with that- I like your last name better anyways.”

-with another kiss, your adventure with the emo baker of your dreams begins

-It may have been Halloween but it sure felt like Christmas to you

#headcanonween #jungkook #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook bts #bts jungkook #Jungkook 2020 #emo! jungkook #boyfriend! jungkook #Jungkook fics #Jungkook fic recs #jungkook cute #Jungkook hot #tattoos jungkook #Jungkook tattoos #fluff #bts #bts fluff #bts fics #bts fanfic #bts fic recs

[exsanguisdraconis]

A Note on Loki:

So this needs to be added to his bio. My muses page is temporary anyway so I didn’t think it would matter, but it doesn’t look like I’m getting around to fixing it any time soon, so I’m going to go ahead and point a couple little things out for anyone looking to write with Loki.

1. Please pay attention to the notes I’ve made on my Loki’s personality. It has shifted slightly since Loki’s change into a dragon.

2. My Loki is MCU based and canon up to TDW. Basically after Loki fakes his death in TDW, he goes completely divergent.

3. I’m not interested in threads pre-transformation. You can interact with him during any time after he’s changed, we can do any number of plots and AUs after the rebirth, but not before. 

4. The only reason I opened Loki back up as a muse is because there is a canon multi-verse that the MCU is currently interacting with. Depending on your character and when in the timeline you wanna interact, I am ok with your muse and my Loki being from the same universe, but honestly it’s probably just going to be easier to have them be from different universes. It’s totally probable for my Loki to explore other universes in their research. Maybe they go on to fuck stuff up in another universe because it’s seen as “inconsequential” bc it happens in a place totally devoid of consequence to him and the people he gives a shit about. Maybe he’s more inclined to be helpful. Anything could happen. So let’s not sleep on the multi-verse thing and get too rigid about how different my Loki’s path has been. 

5. I use Ruth Wilson as a female fc for Loki, and I am 99 percent certain I’m changing his male fc to Hozier at a certain point in the timeline. I do feel like once Loki leaves Asgard behind it is entirely maybe he just leaves the face behind as well. Because it makes traveling on other realms a bother, especially Midgard. But also I don’t use icons much, and there will be long periods of time where Loki chooses to spend his life in dragon form like my others do.

6. I don’t do incest or selfcest. Sorry if that disappoints. I’m just not comfortable with it. I don’t necessarily think it’s ooc for him, I just don’t wanna write it tbh.

7. Loki’s appearance on this blog may be sporadic. They aren’t a primary muse by far. But I if I specifically want to pull back his activity and actually drop threads (which is very rare for me) I do let people know before hand and try to plot something out with different muses. Maybe this won’t be a problem this go around, but I thought I’d put a warning out there.

8. Finally I’m not shrinking the text on this post bc the dash is being wonky rn and some people are having a hard time seeing shit. So all my hcs/psas will probably be unformatted for a bit. You’re still welcome to block my “post type: unformatted” tag.

#post type: unformatted #there is something else i'm forgetting #i can't put my finger on it rn tho

[cwneunae]

BIOGRAPHY || PROFILE || PLOTS/CONNECTIONS || TRACKER

hello lovlies!!! i’m rina (she/her), you can catch me in EST, and this is my misunderstood princess, choi eunae. i’m so excited to write with you all and develop our muses together!! for the first time in forever i actually have pages written up and prepared so feel free to give em a looksie and see if anything piques your interest! i also have a discord for anyone interested in getting that uwu otherwise i’ll leave some ramblings of me talking about this lil lady under the cut below and you can give this post a like so that i may slide into your msgs for some plots!! ♡

ok so kingdom of hearts

she’s the twin of, the rose, who everyone loves but nobody really loves eunae lol

despite growing up hearing all these whispers and gossip about herself, she just throws herself into studying about her kingdom and other royal duties......all that jazz

basically she wants to be the perfect princess and more AND EVENTUALLY the perfect queen for her kingdom bc at the end of the day she genuinely loves the kingdom of hearts and wants to rule over to be the greatest she can be for her citizens bc it’s what they deserve

ofc this does not come across to the people at all bc of her demeanor (she’s a real stickler for rules and protocol so everyone just thinks she has a stick up her ass sdfjsfd) and she’s just so busy studying all the time and dealing with princess stuff that she hardly ever steps foot outside of the palace (except to visit other kingdoms on official duty)

to sum her up, she basically has this inferiority complex since all her life everyone has just compared her to her sister despite how hard she’s tried but she naively believes that eventually all her hardwork will eventually pay off and she will be noticed and redeemed!!

but yeah if youre gonna take away anything from this she just wants to be perfect so bad

also unlike me she is quite the prodigy and genius and has taught herself to be fluent in several languages as well as war strategies and has mastered the sword at a decently young age despite it being “unladylike”

her sword skills are something i she considers her greatest asset, but doesnt boast about it vocally (she believes actions speak louder than words if u understand what i’m implying wink wink. if u dont basically she challenges you to a duel/spar to show you just how good she is)

atm pulling a lot of inspo from zuko (atla), kind of like a madea and psyche lovechild (your throne webtoon), and a lil bit of wendy (the newlywed diary of a witch and a dragon webtoon) and latil (men of the harem webtoon........sir sonnaught PLEASE)

but as always idk what i’m doing till im actually writing and plotting so bear with me as things may seem wonky until i settle in ty

#cwnintro #just me doing me things #talking out of my a$$ #also this is queued while im at MAGIC KINGDOM AHHHHH so i will get to messages later tomorrow probably!!

[thedumpsterqueen]

Standards of Performance, Chapter 6: Buckshot and Tequila

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

AO3 Link

Finally, I write most of the chapter before the day I’m supposed to post it. This was mostly done on my laptop (which I’m not used to) as we just moved and my PC is barely set up, so forgive anything that looks weird or wonky. As always, I hope you enjoy. I love getting all your kind messages <3 (Also message me if you want to be on the taglist - I suppose I should be better about that!)

Summary:  You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter: 6, Buckshot and Tequila

Chapter Summary: Events during a new case test your ability to keep your feelings hidden, and a night out takes an unforeseen turn. 

Words: 3736

Rating: Explicit, 18+. Warnings on AO3.

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

Turns out, lying to Hotch was easier than you thought.

It helped that you were lying to yourself too, of course - that you pretended your gaze didn't linger on his form whenever he was in your vicinity, that the swell of pride in your chest when he agreed with something you said was purely professional. There were times, though, that the facade was much harder to maintain. The most recent case had been one of those times.

You had been tracking down an unsub abducting children in a rural Iowa town. Three kids had gone missing in the span of two weeks, and after Garcia matched the victimology and MO with neighboring states, it looked to be close to a dozen in the years before that. The case started off rough enough - locals refused to believe it could be one of their own, police resisted the BAU’s guidance, the usual - but it came to a head when a fourth child went missing during the investigation.

Thankfully, the team figured out the identity of the unsub relatively quickly. Reid did a geographical profile of all the locations where victims were taken and found a public health clinic that had branches in each area. Garcia cross-checked the employee records to find that only one doctor had done travel shifts at each clinic during the time the children were taken, and within minutes, you were rushing to his address.

The SUV carrying Hotch, Rossi, and Prentiss arrived long enough before yours that by the time you pulled up, they were already kicking down the door and entering the home. The first thing you heard after you flung the car door open was the deafening crack of a weapon firing, and despite your lack of training with firearms, it was apparent that it was not an FBI-issue pistol.

You would never describe yourself as fragile - you couldn't be, not in this line of work. But when you registered the implications of that sound, your knees buckled, instantly bringing you down onto the dusty ground outside the farmhouse. The rest of the team sprinted in, guns drawn. You faintly registered Prentiss yelling inside, then more gunshots, but your head was ringing so loudly from the visceral panic that you couldn’t make out anything specific.

When Hotch burst back out onto the porch, you thought you might honestly sob with relief. That is, until you caught the glint of the sun in the slick, dark blood dripping down the sleeve of his suit.

That was when you puked.

Something about the sight of Aaron Hotchner bleeding felt so wrong that even as you struggled to your feet and stepped over the pile of sick you left in the dirt, even as you got closer and saw the rivulets of blood drip down to his fingertips and dot the wooden floors of the porch, you felt like you were in a dream. Your mind couldn’t grasp the sudden shock of his mortality, that he could bleed, that he could die, even, and he very well might, depending on what vessels were hit. You made it up the steps, only managing to call out his name - his first name - your throat still burning from bile. Despite the chaos of the current moment, he still whipped his head around at the sound of that, as if hearing the name Aaron desperately falling from your lips was more attention-grabbing than the rest of the team gathering around him trying to stem the bleeding.

“It looks worse than it is,” said Rossi, peering through the holes in Hotch’s mangled sleeve. “It was just buckshot, and he barely hit you. Nothing a few stitches won’t fix.”

He turned out to be right, thank god, and later that afternoon, Hotch was freshly bandaged and sitting across from you on the return flight to Quantico.

So, yeah, the “lying to yourself” thing wasn’t going so well at that moment. Hotch was absorbed in paperwork while the rest of the team napped - because of course he was; even being shot didn’t sway his apparently relentless refusal to relax - and each time he winced at the movement of his arm, your vice grip around your chest tightened a little more.

He must have sensed you staring, because he looked up, frown softening slightly as he saw the concern on your face.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” he assured you with a half smile.

Teetering on an emotional precipice, too scared to respond for fear of falling over the edge, you went back to your reading. After a few minutes of listening to him write while not turning a single page in your book, he set his pen down and took a breath.

“You were screaming my name,” he said, quietly, despite you two being the only ones awake.

“What?”

“Earlier,” he clarified, “when we went into the house. I could hear you outside, yelling my name.”

You looked at him, incredulous. “Of course I did. I heard the shotgun go off. Clearly,” you gestured at his arm, “I had a reason to be worried.”

He shook his head and cleared his throat, as if you didn’t understand the question. “Dave and Emily were with me. Any of us could have gotten hit. You only yelled for me.”

Oh.

You shrugged. “You’re the team leader. It’s my instinct to call for you when something goes wrong."

It was a lie, and a bad one at that, but Hotch gave you an unreadable look and let the subject drop.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and when you finally made it back to your apartment, you had no plans other than to sleep off the stress of the case and the embarrassment of Hotch calling your actions into question. Garcia, however, wasn't about to let that happen.

BAU-tiful People Group Chat

Garcia: *added You to the conversation*

Garcia: Ok, my lovely children, I know you’re all tired, but I miss your faces, so I’ll see u at Whimsy tonight at 9! Notice I didn’t use a question mark bc it is NOT a question!

You knew from overhearing the team talk that Whimsy was a bar downtown they liked to frequent, but you’d never been invited before. Despite your overwhelming exhaustion, the idea of going out with the team, of finally feeling accepted by them, was enough to make you amenable to the concept. It may have seemed insignificant on the surface, but Garcia adding you to their group chat was the biggest welcome gesture you’d received yet.

Morgan: Only if you wear that dress you know I like ;)

You lived for the day they would realize they were actually flirting with each other instead of just pretending to.

Prentiss: Garcia… you’re killing me… but you know I’ll be there.

JJ: Contacting the babysitter as we speak.

Morgan: Fuck yeah!!! Pretty Boy, you in?

Reid: Can’t we ever go somewhere quiet?

As the group chimed in with various iterations of, “Shut up, Reid,” you hesitantly typed out a text to confirm your attendance. You were excited, of course, but nervous to be the new kid at their favorite hangout. After today's events, though, the desire not to be sober won out over nerves.

You: I’ll be there! Thanks for the invite!

Rossi: Hope you kids are ready for me to drink you under the table, as usual.

Morgan: Eyyy, you KNOW we party hard! See y’all tonight.

____________

Turns out, Morgan was not exaggerating. Not even a little bit. By the time you arrived, 15 minutes late, everyone looked to be at least 3 shots deep. Garcia ran over to greet you, squealing, and wrapped you in a suffocating hug.

“I’m so glad you came! What do you drink? Tequila? I’ll grab the next round!”

You laughed and confirmed that tequila sounded great, and as she scurried off to the bar with Morgan on her heels, you had a chance to look around.

The atmosphere of the club surprised you - it was all glass and steel and modernity, packed with people dancing to something with intense bass - not the low-key joint you’d pictured the team wanting to unwind at. But as you watched JJ, Prentiss, and Rossi cheer on Reid as he threw back a shot, doubling over in hysterics as he coughed and sputtered at the taste, you realized that this place was just loud and energetic enough to keep them from thinking about anything other than work. In that way, you definitely saw the appeal.

“I come bearing shots!” Garcia yelled as her and Morgan made it back to the table. “Grab yours… here we go- whoops! Alright, everyone got theirs?”

She turned to you, grinning behind a pair of hot pink spectacles. “Cheers not ONLY to rescuing four kidnapped children alive, but also to our lovely intern and her first Whimsy outing!”

The team erupted in cheers and you smiled back, downing the tequila. You chatted with the group while Garcia ordered more drinks, and then more drinks, and soon you felt a pleasant buzz filling your head.

“Morgan, you better ask me to dance right now before I go find another man to do the job,” Garcia said with a wink in his direction.

Morgan grinned and mock-bowed, holding out a hand for her to take, and led her off to the dancefloor.

“Should we join them?” JJ asked around the table.

“Someone’s gotta make sure they don’t do anything worth getting kicked out for,” Prentiss shot back. You giggled and followed the girls, leaving Rossi and Reid behind at the table in the midst of a heated debate about childhood brain development that you couldn’t even hope to comprehend.

Not long after you started dancing, you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder and turned around, looking up into the stunning green eyes of a man who looked to be about your age. It was hard to really tell what he looked like in the dim lighting, but by the way Prentiss was giving you a thumbs up and mouthing, “Go for it,” from your side, he was good enough for you.

“Do you want to dance?” he asked above the music. You smiled and nodded in confirmation, letting him wrap his arms around your waist and pull you to his hips.

He knew how to move, that was for certain. He ground against your backside lightly, snaking his hands around your stomach. You weren’t used to this kind of thing - dancing with random men at bars, letting them touch you like this - but the combination of the music and the booze and the relief at the last case being over was making you feel more free than you had in recent memory.

You exchanged grins with Morgan, who was dancing a few feet away in a much more R-rated manner with Garcia. The man behind you (whose name you didn’t know, but who cared?) leaned down to kiss your neck and you arched against him in response, reaching up to run your hand through his hair.

Throughout the song, you had rotated back to facing the table where the rest of your team was sitting. You glanced over, saw Reid and Rossi still deep in discussion, along with another man in a black button-up with a very familiar side profile and-

Hotch.

Hotch was here, and as if the powers that be were insistent upon proving to you that the opposite of serendipity existed, at the exact moment you had that realization, he turned and made direct eye contact with you. Drunk, wearing a skintight dress, a random man grinding on your ass, and staring right back at your Unit Chief at the motherfucking Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and if you had been drunker, you might have hurled tequila all over the dancefloor. Instead, you pulled away from the mystery man behind you, ignoring his shocked, “Wait!” and beelined to the bar.

“Tequila. Shot. Please, I’m sorry, just saw someone I didn’t expect to,” you blurted out to the bartender, swearing you could feel Hotch’s eyes on your back from across the club.

The bartender, probably having seen much worse, nodded in understanding and poured your drink. You gulped it down, wiped your mouth, and leaned on the bar to get your bearings.

It’s not weird. It’s not. It’s a bar, it’s outside of work hours, it’s perfectly fine that you’re buzzed and dancing and having fun. Everyone else is!

Really, it wasn’t that you were worried about your job, or even that he would judge you (he probably would, but that was unavoidable regardless of the setting), it was just that you hadn’t mentally prepared yourself for the possibility that he would come. He was in the group chat - obviously, if he had seen Garcia’s invite - but had never struck you as the social type, the kind of boss that would interact with his team outside of work.

“Did you see that Hotch is here?” Prentiss asked breathlessly, appearing at the bar beside you.

Apparently, you weren’t the only one surprised.

“I did,” you whispered back, despite the thumping music and the rowdy patrons making it logically impossible for your words to reach the table 20 feet away. “Does he usually join you guys?”

“Never,” she said, before thinking and correcting herself, “Not in years, anyways. When Haley… we used to drag him out, but we stopped after a while.”

“Why do you think he came tonight?"

She shrugged. “Who knows? Far be it from me to explain why Hotch does anything.” An idea seemed to pop in her head, and she grinned. “Maybe it’s because of you!”

“M-me?” Your reaction to the suggestion wasn’t nearly as nonchalant as you’d tried for, but Prentiss was too drunk to notice.

“Yeah, gotta help initiate the intern on her first night out, right?” She grinned and clapped you on the shoulder, then turned away to head back to the dancefloor, leaving you alone. You sighed, gathered yourself as much as you could considering the effects of the tequila, and turned around to go greet him.

“Hey, Agent Hotchner. Didn’t expect to see you tonight!”

“Yes, well. Thought I’d show up for a bit; it’s been a while.” He gave you a tight lipped smile then looked back down at his glass of whisky, the awkward energy palpable.

Probably because he just saw you basically dry-humping some random dude.

“Well, I’m glad you came! Feel free to, uh, come dance if you want! Morgan and Garcia are showing us all up,” you said, gesturing to where Morgan and Garcia were in fact drawing the attention of several onlookers.

He chuckled at that. “They’re certainly a sight to behold, aren’t they?”

You nodded in agreement and headed back to the bar, the brief conversation pointing you towards yet another drink. Talking to him was so easy , sometimes, and others it was like pulling teeth to get a human response out of him. Could you blame him, though? Your last one-on-one interaction was you basically inviting yourself over to his apartment with takeout and listening to him spill his guts about his dead wife and kid, and he probably felt uncomfortable with you after that, and then you went right to this case without any chance for things to go back to normal, and then he got shot, and oh my god, you didn’t even ask him how his arm was doing, how fucking rude can you be, dumbass? and-

“Whoops! Shit, I’m sorry!”

You looked at the person you’d just bumped into in the midst of your internal crisis.

“Hey, it’s you!”

The man you’d been dancing with earlier, now much more obviously handsome in the brighter lights of the bar area, grinned in recognition.

“Hey, I thought I’d scared you off there!”

You laughed and shook your head. “No, I’m sorry. Just saw my boss and freaked out a little bit.”

“Oh shit, your boss is here?” he asked. “That’s uncomfortable, damn. I’m sorry.”

“No worries, it’s just… yeah. Anyways. Wanna pick up where we left off?” you asked, more desperate than ever to get Hotch out of your head. If he didn’t want to see you having a wild night, he shouldn’t have come to the club.

He took your hand, looking pleased. “Lead the way.”

It really was so much easier, you thought, to let yourself feel attraction for guys like this. Uncomplicated, willing to take what you give them, no backstory to speak of. They weren’t riddled with tragic history, unattainable in both position and personality, not to mention impossible to even imagine ever returning your feelings. Guys like Cooper (you’d finally learned his name somewhere amid the grinding and groping) were easy and fun and they didn’t keep you up at night agonizing over whether that thing you said at work was impressive enough.

But then again, they didn’t give you the roller-coaster feeling in your stomach that Aaron Hotchner did every time you locked eyes.

And lock eyes you did - an increasingly frequent number of times, actually. It seemed like whenever you turned to face his direction, he was staring you down. He always went back to his conversation with Rossi and Reid, but you noticed that he seemed to get more and more pissed off with every song that played. His frown was deepened, his expression dark, and you could tell even from a distance that his knuckles were white from gripping his glass.

You shrugged it off as Hotch being Hotch - who knew what that man was thinking? And besides, you were trying to forget him, damn it. At least, that was until a particularly raunchy song came on and you were in the middle of getting your ass felt up, when you felt a hand squeeze your shoulder and whip you around, bringing you face-to-face with your boss himself.

“Hey, what’s going on? Is something wrong?” you asked, utterly bewildered as to why he was interrupting you.

He ignored you, instead staring down Cooper, who very quickly decided Hotch wasn’t one to fuck with and walked away.

“Hotch! Is there a case? Should I grab the others?”

He shook his head. “Can you come with me, please?”

Perplexed, you acquiesced (not that you had much of a choice, with the way he was gripping your elbow) and followed him through the crowd, out the back door, and into an alley. He let go of you then, sighing and crossing his arms.

Your mind was wild with questions - did you do something you shouldn’t have? Get too drunk? Everyone was drunk, though, and you weren’t even half as wasted as some of the others. Did Reid or Rossi tell him something bad about you? Were you about to somehow get yourself fired off the clock?

“The boy you were dancing with was bad news,” he said, after an uncomfortably long period of silence.

What the fuck?

“What the fuck?” you repeated, this time out loud, and you knew you shouldn’t be talking to him like this, but you were too caught off guard to conduct yourself more appropriately.

“He was a drug user,” Hotch said, as if that would explain everything.

“A drug user,” you repeated back, no less confused.

“Cocaine,” he continued. “He was high - his pupils were dilated, he was rubbing his nose, and he's been to the bathroom several times.”

“So… you’re going to arrest him? For doing cocaine?” you asked, still baffled as to what he was insinuating.

“What? No,” he said, “I’m trying to warn you not to get involved.”

You had entered some parallel universe, you decided. There was no other explanation for your boss, a man you’d known all of four months, dragging you outside a bar on a Friday night and telling you not to dance with a hot stranger because he was on cocaine.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself before you really did get yourself fired. “Sir, I appreciate the concern, but I don’t think it’s really any of your business.”

His face hardened at that. “It is exactly my business,” he said, eyes boring a hole through your skull, “to watch out for things that may compromise my team.”

“Compromise your team?” you repeated his words again. “I was dancing, not getting engaged to the guy.”

“Should I allow you to dance with a sexual sadist if it’s just dancing?” he pressed, using the stern voice that usually caused any sort of dissent to whither and die right in your throat.

It didn’t work this time, probably because he was acting fucking insane. “Are you seriously comparing a sexual sadist to a guy who does cocaine while he’s out partying?”

“It’s not just while he’s out partying, by the way he conducted himself, he was a chronic-”

“It doesn’t matter!” you said, nearly yelling now. “You had no right! I'm sorry, what are you, my dad?!”

His eyes flashed at that. “If I hadn’t already had to sit through an 8 hour surgery not knowing if Garcia was going to make it out alive because her date shot her, then perhaps I would have no right. But as it stands, I do. Please be more careful with who you associate with, even if it’s just dancing.”

He spat that last part out, more vitriolic than you’d ever seen him, and stalked back inside. You were left outside in the alley, alone, reeling from confusion surrounding the entire interaction and shock at the emotional charge he’d leveled at you.

Reentering the bar, you saw that Hotch’s seat had been vacated and his jacket was gone. You rolled your eyes, and on your way to the bathroom, nearly ran into Cooper again.

“Hey!” he said. “What was that all about? You good?”

You looked up at his face and for the first time, noticed faint traces of white dust around his nose. He looked keyed up, jumpy - his pulse racing and visible on his carotid. You sighed.

“I’m good. Just not in the mood right now, sorry,” and pushed past him into the bathroom.

Hotch was an emotionally stunted asshole with a control complex, but he was also never fucking wrong.

#hotch x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #hotch #hotchner fanfic #criminal minds smut #thomas gibson #agent hotchner #mgg #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #spencer reid #dr reid #criminal minds #david rossi #derek morgan #slow burn #fanfiction #writing #ao3 #criminal minds headcanons #sub!reader #standards of performance #dom!hotch #daddy hotch

[trubilee]

2021

redacted post from two days ago:

so it wouldn’t hurt to write my hopes for the new year, no?

ok.  also i slept at 9:45 last night and woke up at 4:30 this morning for certain period-related reasons and it was a lovely encouraging thing bc maybe, just maybe, i can sleep early at night (back to the butt in bed by 9:30 goal) this year until things in life inevitably make that harder and then all bets shall be off.

so many things i would want to write about rn, of course.  of course.  i will just start anywhere.

but maybe to focus it a bit more i’ll start like this.

so in 2021 i want

i want to wake up go to bed early and wake up early and pray and do QT and write every morning if i can.  eventually finish this hundreds of pages memoir that sucks the life outta me sigh.  why can’t i just drop it and get back to my story?  i really don’t know.

i want to give [redacted].  [redacted] hmmmm?

[redacted]

okay so next.  the skincare journey will continue.  i’ll keep going with c (and optional moisturizer) in the evenings and S and SPF in the mornings.

i want to pray for daisy more (hello, car crash and anaphylaxis ER trip).  and for wes more.  and for paul more.  oops that order is probably all wonky.  heh heh.

in the meantime i’d like to organize my office thoroughly, and wes’s room too, and my bedroom area.  and wes’s playroom (out with the unnecessary pls).  and our freezer.

oh gosh this is laughably overshooting but i’d like to use our mirror more...

cooking is still just not a priority for me this year.  sowwy paul.  hehe.

would like to read a little bit obviously.  it does beat television though it’s not as immediately envelopingly decompressing.  at the least i’d want to finish madame bovary.  maybe read one of these:  on earth we’re briefly gorgeous, the orphan master’s son, definitely something by anne tyler, uncanny valley (this one’s precarious and doesn’t feel like it belongs on this list), or something like that.

look into a devotional by phillip yancey like the one i ordered.

life.  enjoy every minute of it.  (thanks, soul!  haha.)

get more used to? better at? spending time in God’s presence and really being there for it.  felt nice.

get to know Jesus better.  so far that green guidebook on the book of mark really helped.

wrap up adoption matter to best of my ability.  really really consider whatever next one comes up without being so stingy and protective of my time....  sigh.

budgeting.  try to track every dollar to best of my ability and stick to paul’s and my jointly allotted $___ per month.  per month, i say!!!

i mean, i think my goals hopes for 2021 are not very far off from my hopes for 2020 that i’d written down shortly before that new year’s day.  i should probably be less selfish and have loftier more servantlike goals.  heh.

don’t really know what my work “goal” is other than to not rise and fall with the praise of my bosses and just keep killing it and working unto God as my heavenly master and not for michael beth and leanne as my earthly masters.  do everything i can to make God proud of me in work setting and don’t just settle for the politics and appraisal of man.  i mean yes those are important i’m not downplaying it but focusing on that and losing sight of the big picture cripples me with fear and self doubt and anxiety and a false, dare i say ungodly, paranoia of my (perhaps partially complex-driven, not ever facts-driven) own supposed ineptitude incompetence and imposterness fakery etc.  so it is just better in every way to cast that off and work unto the Lord.  

hmmm what else.  i guess back to wes, pray for him more.  and back to paul, pray for him more. think about pray for and arrange for the start of wes’s preschool.

fun verses from today’s meandering in the Bible  (proverb 6):

Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard?  When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.

i was contemplating writing something like “get back to doing more things that scare me or that make me nervous” etc., but i don’t think this is the time or year of my life when i want to do that.  i feel like i have such little margin as it is (although if i continue waking up early and wes supernaturally sleeps in every morning, then my oh my score!) so now is not my time that i want to say that’s what i want to do.  a lot to balance on my waitress tray right now, hehe.  later though, perhaps.

life.  i want to enjoy every minute of it.  i think God would like it if i did that too.

[bnhatrashcanons]

Dekusquad as a significant other

I did one for the bakusquad so now it’s time for the dekusquad. next is the underrated character squad (???) maybe??? i have a really hard time characterizing ojiro and satou. anyways onto the post

Izuku Midoryia

sunshine in a bottle

he’s really fucking a little nervous going in. the first weeks are going to be so weird. he’ll probably bump his head in a kiss, high five when his partner wants a hug, so on and so forth.

when he gets the hang of it he’s such a sweetheart to date. he tries so hard to be a good boyfriend and he succeeds with flying colors. he gets his partner flowers, chocolate, writes them notes completely unprompted! though he blushes and stutters as he does

pda is weird for deku, because he’s so nervous. he’s really only comfortable with hand holding. maybe cheek kisses if he’s feeling spicy.

cuddles are also wack for deku because he has no clue on where to put his limbs

he smells like flowers so his hugs are so comforting. 

he might be shy about it, but he is 100% his partners hype man. he cheers for them constantly. he loves his partner so much and he wants to see them succeed as much as he, himself, wants to succeed. 

his kisses are soft. sometimes they’re a little wonky, he’s still getting used to this all. 

Ochako Uraraka

an absolute doll

though ochako has not had much experience herself with relationships she’s seen her parents and the way they act with one another and she tries to emulate that with her partner. 

falls into a routine with her partner rather quickly. things like kisses and hand holding and cuddles become so easy for her. 

that being said, she loves PDA, but doesn’t want to make her partner uncomfortable. ochako wants cuddles though, and she wants to be held so hold her please.

she also is a clothing thief, but her scent of strawberries will linger on her partners clothes for weeks, no matter how many times that article of clothing is washed. 

a great sparring partner! she wants her s/o to be in the best shape possible and ochako tries her best to provide that. though, she’s an apologetic mess if she accidentally hurt her s/o. 

it’s more fun to see her receive gifts and flowers. though, sometimes she sees this as a challenge. a lOVE CHALLENGE. she will try her best to beat her s/o with who can do the cutest thing for her partner. even if she doesn’t buy her s/o immaculate things, she’ll write notes, draw pictures, decorate their locker or desk. it’s really cute.

a nervous kisser, sometimes she’ll cover her face afterwards.

Tenya Iida

hoe probably writes up a relationship contract that consists of 200 pages. such a serious partner

he takes his relationship very seriously, as he does most things. he wants the best for his partner, and he thinks it’s his job to help them achieve their goal. he’s genuinely a sweetheart, if a bit tightly wound.

he really doesn’t like pda, he deems it unprofessional. At some point in the relationship-like really far down the line-he’ll become more comfortable with hand holding in public.

tenya actually really likes cuddling in private. he likes having someone to hold close to him. tenya suffers from nightmares, and it’s nice to know that he will have someone with him to comfort him.

he smells like engine oil and thats a scent he’s tried so hard to mask but, alas, he cannot. his partner cannot take his clothes. he is too quick, he notices too many things. he’s onto them.

he, actually, prefers to not receive material items from his significant other. their actions and support mean the world to him, and that’s all he can ask for. tenya also likes spoiling his significant other, though he will never admit it. 

don’t study with him. he’s strict. he means well,  but he gets really into it. 

such an awkward kisser. it’s weird for him. he doesn’t know where to put his hands, doesn’t know which way to turn his head. bskjbjsb he’s such a disaster.

Shoto Todoroki

aloof. very. very. aloof

he tries, he really does. he just??? doesn’t really understand how relationships are supposed to work. he comes from a broken home so he doesn’t have a good reference point on what relationships should be like.

he’ll slowly get the hang of things. it will take him a while, but he will get there. he’s a sweetheart at the end of the day. 

needs reassurance almost always and everyday. he won’t go begging for it, but the forlorn, glossy look in his eyes says it all. private cuddles and hugs and kisses do the trick. whispering sweet things in his ear, complimenting him, they will all do the trick with him.

stares at his partner with wide, loving eyes. not much of a smiler, but the glimmer in his eyes smiles for him. the moment he does smile, prepare for a melted heart. 

not one for PDA. he does want to keep his partner close to him, so he will wrap his arm around their waist. sometimes he’ll press a kiss to their temple, or the crown of their head if his partner is short enough. he’ll smile in their hair as well. 

tough nut to crack, it’s really hard to get him to do something he doesn’t want to. like, if his s/o wants him to buy something, it’ll take some darn good puppy dog eyes to get him out the door. 

uses daddy’s money to get his significant other gifts. they’re always so nice, and it’s the only thing his dad’s good for.

another awkward kisser. though, his kisses always find their ways in being natural and gentle and sweet. he’s such a darling deep down. 

Tsuyu Asui

supportive partner

gives her partner the nicest words, even when her s/o doesn’t really need it. it absolutely skyrockets their self-esteem.

cuddler extraordinaire. she knows exactly when cuddles are needed or wanted. tsu is really good at reading people, especially her partner. 

tsu’s favorite place to go on dates is the park. especially ones with ponds. watching the little fishies and turtles swim around makes her really happy. if her partner is quiet enough, they’ll hear happy little ‘ribbits’ come from her.

pretty ok with PDA. she likes little kisses when she’s least expecting it, she likes hugging her partner from behind during conversations. a darling little frog.

get her frog themed things. she needs to decorate her room and there has to be a theme don’t stray from the theme. she prefers practical things rather than flowers and cards as gifts. she wants stuff she can use.

likes to nuzzle. will nuzzle her head into crooks of necks, shoulders, backs, chests, sides etc.

a good kisser, and is really good at telling what kind of kiss their partner needs or wants

#bnha #bnha fic #bnha x reader #mha #mha fic #mha x reader #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku x reader #uraraka ochako #uraraka ochako x reader #uraraka x reader #tenya iida #tenya iida x reader #iida x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #tsuyu asui #tsuyu asui x reader #tsuyu x reader

[hargroves-angel]

Could you do an imagine where Reader has lost someone close to her (best friend or family member) and she shuts everyone out but Billy’s there every day. Sitting outside her room, talking to her. Giving her updates. Bringing her little things to get her out the room and then one day they end up cuddled against her door, her fast asleep whilt half in half out the room and her parents catch them??

‘For Y/N’

Summary - After the death of your mother, you've felt numb ever since but Billy has been outside your room every day at exactly 4:30 pm to check up on you, to be there for you until you were ready.

Warnings - Angst 

A/N - Hope you like it!

“Hey princess... we had a math test today” Billy mumbled, sitting against the door outside your room. “You remember when you taught me how to do that dividing thing? I do...” he trailed off, pain evident in his voice. “Tommy fell over at lunch, he dropped his spaghetti all down himself... The look on his face” Billy softly chuckled to himself.

You sat on the other side. A pillow held close to your chest, you hugged it.

You didn’t speak much when Billy came over... you did listen though. You always listened. You heard him shift.

“I took notes in English earlier... i put them in that pink colour you like, I still need to give you that pen back... here” you shuffled forwards as Billy slipped a piece of paper under the door.

You examined the paper, it had been folded neatly, his usually scruffy handwriting was no where to be seen, he clearly tried his best with it.

‘For Y/N’

He did write it in that pen. You smiled at it, a proper smile... something you hadn’t done for days.

Your mom had died a few week ago.

You still don’t understand... she’s been struggling, yes. But it just didn’t seem right. She was so kind... so caring but in just a second she’d been taken away from you. Leaving just you and your dad left.

“Thank you...” you mumbled, the words coming out in a scratchy whisper. Your hands shook as you read the words on the page.

Billy sighed in relief at your voice.

“No problem angel... we were doing something about poems... wrote you a little something..” he lit a cigarette and took a drag, your father smoked so he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if someone had been smoking upstairs.

You read the poem. Your heart breaking at every word he’d written, it was wonky and most words were spelt wrong but that just made it that every bit special.

“Billy” you took a shaky breath in.

“You need something beautiful?” He turned his head to the door.

You stood up.

 Billy slowly stood up, discarding the cigarette out the window.

“You ok princess?” he asked calmly, he was always calm around you, he took things slow. Especially after these few days. He’d come to your house everyday. After school. He’d sit in the same spot at 4:30 every time. He’d bring notes from class, homework sheets, test papers... anything even if it wasn't school related he left a box of his favourite cassets along with a chocolate bar, the label ‘For Y/N’. You’d always been a star student... he knew about your love of learning. He didn’t want you to miss out... they made you feel... happy, something you didn’t know you could feel anymore.

The door knob turned slowly. You took a deep breath in again. You opened the door.

Your eyes looked up to meet his.

“Hey angel” He smiled, a forced smile... he wanted to cry. He hated seeing you so frail and thin. You hadn’t been eating clearly... but yet you were still so beautiful to him. Beautiful as the day he’d first met you, he just needed to show you that.

At those words you ran into his arms, tears falling down your cheeks. You cried and cried, something you hadn’t done, something you wanted to do but couldn’t until now.

Billy held you close as you both sank to the floor. The door closing as you cuddled. 

His tears fell along with yours. “Thank you Billy” you whimpered into the crook of his neck.

He cradled you in his arms, his heart broken but at the same time swollen. 

“I missed you Y/N” He mumbled into your hair. 

“I missed you too Billy” you sniffed, taking in your favourite scent, cigarettes and cologne. 

The smell of every T-shirt he'd left you outside your door, every jacket he'd left behind for you. 

You cried harder. He rocked you. 

“Im so sorry angel” he kissed your head. 

“Its not your fault... I just really miss her...” You sobbed. Billy held you tighter, his head buried in your hair. 

“I love you” he mumbled. 

“I love you too” You stuttered through cries. 

“I got you princess, im here” he rubbed his hands up and down your arms. You felt immediate comfort. 

“Im so tired...” Your voice cracked and hoarse. 

“I know baby, I know” He kissed you again. “You can sleep now... Ill be here to protect you” With that you let the much anticipated sleep over take your heavy eyelids. 

Billy leaned back as he felt your soft snores. 

“Thank you” He heard a male voice mumble, your father. “She hasn’t come out for weeks...” he whispered. 

“Don’t mention it... sorry for your loss sir” Billy stroked your hair. 

“You’re a good kid, Billy” Your father smiled at him one last time before walking back downstairs. Billy kissed your head one last time, then he carried you into your room and lay you down onto your bed, he placed a pillow into your arms, you cuddled it. Billy then got to work to clean up your room. 

The various glasses on the shelves, barely touched, most filled to the brim with water. The full plates of old food. 

He was going to help you back up onto your feet again, one step at a time. 

#billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove angst

[justaflipfloppingpotato]

The M3thh34d visual novel, process thread

Monday, September 23, 2019

So, yesterday I decided that I'm going to be changing tmh into a visual novel instead of a comic. I'm not that sure how I feel about this decision but i KNOW I'm gonna have a lot more done quickly and efficiently, I'll be able to tell my story completely without cancelling anything. And since renpy coding is the simplest thing in the galaxy I have a feeling this will be super fun too.

Oke, just some clarifications for myself.

I'm going to write all of the stories code first.

Then I'm going to draw the sprites and backgrounds as needed

Then I'm going to work on major art pieces for it like title pages and large stuff etc

Now for mobile users who won't be able to play, don't worry. I'm planning on posting a play through on my yt channel and I'm going to post the script here with all of the photos and visuals for those who would rather read on their own turn.

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

OK, so since school is kind of keeping me busy I wasn't able to do much besides figure out how basic GUI and options editing worked.

Added some about information

Fixed transitions

Added a default text speed of 18 characters per second

I also taught myself how to turn the game into files to download, also figured out a system of how people will be able to download the files without actually having to install it from itch.io, gamejolt, etc.

As far as scripts are concerned I have essentially added dialogue for the entire prologue (though I may edit it because I feel it may go by too fast)

And up to the whisper scene in part 1 (which is around a bit into part one,)

I'm also deciding that I'm going to be posting this thread on Friday/saturday and adding more to it as we go.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Alright! Things I got done:

Added LOTS of dialogue, pretty much around halfway done with chapter 1

Completely rewrote to prologue, its a bit clunky so im gonna need to edit it later to make the dialogue flow better, but for this medium of storytelling its kind of necessary to change it how I did

Brainstormed son sprite pose ideas, I realize I'm probably gonna need some tweek-twitching sprites so that's something I'm going to get on once I start the drawing process

Also found out that typing these things: [] make the code wonky so I can't type [REDACTED] kind of a shame but that's fine

May or may not be using to much of the pause function, but Its not bothering me so I guess when I get someone to test it (yes u heard me, I'm gonna let people test it once everythings,,, y know,,,, playable) and I get some thoughts I'll know how it is

Through this whole process I realized how easy making a simpl e visual novel truly is, and now I finally know how to tell my stories in a way that's both fun and easy!

I've been thinking about making h&h, a never-before-seen card deck au I made like a year ago and never posted, the mythical creek au and a monster au all into visual novels! This is a perfect way for me to stay focused and make stuff!! I'm v excited and happy!! (Let's hope this stays this way because u all know me by now!!)

I may add some complex choice decisions after I get the base game script finished but I have no idea how the story would play out to an alternate ending? Idk I'll have to think about it maybe :p

Anyway I've also been thinking about voice acting in it butttt if I had that they're probably just gonna be mini sound bites like "hmm" or "gah!?" Just stuff from the show probably.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Life is cray and I'm in pain! Here's the shit I got done today!!

Added slightly over 50 lines worth of dialogue

Slight edits here and there about other things

Also im trying to build tweeks character and persona for chapter 1 and I'm finally getting that done

Y know, a really fun thing about visual novels is that I can add as much dialogue as I want without worrying about how crowded it looks

Like, text boxes on comics are NIGHTMARES to add, like u don't want to have a full paragraph of words for one panel! Because no one will want to read it.

But with vn's all you have to do is write dialouge now and then worry about expressions later

No clunk, only funk B)

Also thinking about his ark, now that I'm fully working on scripts and and the story I can finally focus on how to add the hashtag foreshadowing for the uuuuhhhh twist :^)

Anyway I'm having fun and I'm pretty much half way done with chapter one. After I get it done I'm going to reread it and jot down changes until I'm happy with it then I'm going to move on to chapter 2 :DD

Friday, September 27, 2019

Ok!!! Finally done for the week, here's what I did today:

Added an additional 70 lines of dialogue, I now have just over 300 lines

Finished chapter 1

Added a scene where tweek doesn't know how to pronounce hypothermia, that's not important just want you all to know that was a thing

Its been so fun working on this so far, I'm planning on testing it over the weekend to see what dialogue tweaks and grammar/spelling stuff I need to fix. Once that's done I will be continuing onto the chapter 2 script!

I will update this thread on Fridays, I might add some mini weekend updates whenever the time calls for it.

I hope you all are excited as I am for this! Its the first time in a long time that I've felt this sure about a project before!! :DD

#jpspeaks #the m3thh34d #long post #tmh vn process thread

[vskpop]

My 30 favourite songs of 2018

YouTube playlist ⋅ Spotify playlist

30. Heroine – Sunmi

I hesitate to call Sunmi feminist – does she consider herself one? Can k-pop really be feminist? – but her matter-of-factly, eyes-wide-open songs that touch on the position of women in relationships and in society are the closest thing to genuine female empowerment I’ve seen in k-pop. It doesn’t hurt that every single one of her songs is amazing.

29. Bboom Bboom – Momoland

Considering I usually hate “viral” songs – I’ve been brainwashed to like Gangnam Style just recently – I’m still shocked at how much I love Momoland’s Bboom Bboom. I’m also proud to say that I was an early adopter of the song, and watching their success skyrocket made my Q1. I’m still not tired of the sax line and of the “GREAT!” shouted during performances. This song (and Momoland, really) is just irresistible.

28. Retro Future – Triple H

The last ever song by Triple H (anger abounds) is just a taste of the genre-bending, sound-mixing, absurd-lyric-writing that we could have gotten for many years. Their retro-future has nothing to do with the Jetsons, and much more with insane 80’s synths and, well, that sexy vibe.

27. Love Shot – EXO

Well, EXO, that was last minute. My ambivalence towards EXO is represented by this song, which I both find ridiculous and adore at the same time. This song’s luscious synths and layered vocals make it elegant, then the performance makes it kitsch. I don’t know if I’ve been brainwashed, but it’s so great.

Other songs of note: Electric Kiss – Tempo – Gravity

26. Not That Type – Gugudan

A thousand times yes for Gugudan doing edgier concepts. Not That Type is the spiritual successor to A Girl Like Me, and it’s almost as good. This song, however, is even tougher and more explosive. The new 8-member Gugudan is off to a great start.

Other songs of note: The Boots – Shotgun

25. Beautiful Feeling – Day6

Yet again, it’s my special skill to ignore all the popular songs that a group has, and in this case the rock vibe that defines it, and pick the sweetest, mellowest song they’ve put out. Day6 make some amazing power ballads, and Beautiful Feeling gives me warm and fuzzy feelings every time I listen to it.

Other songs of note: Days Gone By – Headache – Shoot Me – Somehow

24. Dinner – Suho ft. Jane Jang

I don’t know how the powers that be decided that this duet should happen, but the result is everything. Jane Jang’s one-of-a-kind voice layers beautifully over Suho’s, who ended up being often overlooked as an EXO vocalist for all these years.

23. Remember Me – Oh My Girl

Every single Oh My Girl put out is juicy in its on way. They may always go back to their foundational dreamy pop, but they never fail to throw in a twist. Remember Me’s EDM flavour and heavy rap are a total change from Secret Garden, but the song still blossoms into a romantic, airy chorus, and all of the members find something to sink their teeth into.

Other songs of note: Secret Garden – Magic – Love O’Clock

22. La Vie en Rose – IZ*ONE

My resolve to ignore the existence of IZ*ONE (and survival show groups in general) faded at the first two octaves of La Vie En Rose. This song does so much with so little: the atmosphere it creates, and the contrast between the powerful pre-chorus and the understated chorus are what makes the song for me. In the meantime I’ve started to learn their names, so I’m doomed.

21. I Want You – SHINee

SHINee’s constant stream of releases this year is at the same time a new beginning and the beginning of the end. It’s hard to imagine that a whole year has passed since Jonghyun, and it’s hard to think that the group has survived even though these songs are concrete proof. I really struggled to make it through the more melancholy songs, so I picked I Want You out of a series of basically perfect tracks.

Other songs of note: Good Evening – Chemistry – Electric – Who Waits For Love – Countless – Our Page

20. LATATA – (G)I-DLE

I would be surprised if there was a single Boombayah lover who didn’t love this song. It has the same (pseudo-Indian?) influences, the same rhythms, the same anthemic quality. Latata is catchy, hypnotic, fun, and showcases all the members equally (ok, maybe Soyeon a bit more than everyone else). This is a textbook debut for 2018.

Other songs of note: Maze

19. 1, 2, 3! – Seungri

Here’s someone who usually did club music and for once didn’t, and I loved it anyway! 1,2,3!  is retro, guitar-led and much more lighthearted than anything Seungri has ever done. It’s lovely to see a less sultry (and a biiiiit slimy?) side of him. Also Anda.

Other songs of note: Hotline – Where Are You From

18. 22 Century Girl – fromis_9

I feel that my obsession with fromis_9 is still at its earliest stage, and that by the end of 2019 I will have gone totally mad for them. I am in love with their singles – To Heart, Love Bomb, what instant classics! – but the whirlwind of sounds of fever dream 22 Century Girl have stolen my heart.

Other songs of note: To Heart – Love Bomb

17. Blue Moon – Gyeong Ree

Another one for the theme of this list: house! Give me all of it in your pop songs! Here’s hoping that Gyeong Ree (wasn’t it easier when she spelled it Kyungri? Anyway) continues her solo career with such intriguing, sophisticated but super-fun songs.

16. Stay Here – Sojung

I don’t know exactly, but I cry my eyes out more often than not when I hear this song. Ladies’ Code’s Sojung’s voce is as light as a feather, until it explodes in the soaring chorus. Everybody knows that I love any power ballad, but the complex emotional balance of this one is just on another level.  

15. Now or Never – SF9

I can’t say I’ve been following SF9 as idols, but I have been listening to all their releases and they have given me nothing but quality. I know I complain about songs with drops, but the deep house (yep, again) and that sensual “jealous” have been killing me ever since they came into my life. It might be my favourite hook of 2018.

14. I Love You – EXID

I was a bit taken aback by EXID’s Lady earlier in the year, but it was love at first listen with I Love You. The distorted hook opens and holds together a song that has all the best of EXID, including Solji, who has returned stronger than ever with flawless vocals and zero shame.

Other songs of note: Lady

13. Dejavu – NU'EST W

You guessed it – house. Nothing has given me as much joy as the rise of NU’EST W, and I’ve been even happier because they did it with superb, incredibly on-trend songs while retaining the dark charm of their pre-success material. They really leaned into the “sexy bandit” thing, and I’m all for it.

Other songs of note: YlenoL – Shadow – Feels – Help Me

12. Oh! My mistake – APRIL

This song is fluffy and super-poppy and at the same time side-eye in music, if that was ever possible. The super-innocent and cute concept that APRIL have been doing since forever is now tinged with tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, and a little creepy synth that perfectly matches the theme of the track. It’s so addictive and so delicious.

Other songs of note: Oh-e-Oh – BEEP

11. Snapshot – IN2IT

I love when smaller groups do really, really great and out of the box stuff instead of copying their more successful peers. I’ve watched countless performances, entranced by the bass that opens the song, holding my breath for that “heartbeat go fast, heartbeat go slow”. This is one sexy song, and IN2IT are one good rookie group that I will keep my eye on.

10. Timeless – NCT U

Leave it to me to find the most niche release a super-popular group has had, and fall in love with it so deeply that the rest (most of which I hated, not sorry) doesn’t count. NCT are too big of a group with some really, really good singers hiding in the back line while the rappers swagger about. I loved that some of them got their chance to show off and I adore this poetic, heartbreaking song.

Other songs of note: Boss – Baby Don’t Stop – Replay (PM 01:27)

9. Shine – Pentagon

I have to wonder if this song would have been higher in my charts if it wasn’t for the bloodbath that was of Pentagon and their career after this song came out. It’s such a pity that such a feelgood song has become, well, not so feelgood. This song’s wonky piano riff and anthemic chorus are still a delight, and their personality really shines (LOL) through. OT10 forever.

Other songs of note: Off-road

8. The Grand Dreams – Minseo

Where did Minseo even come from? Why hasn’t she been here our entire lives? Her dreamy vocals have been giving me life this year, and her refined musical sense (or of her producers, really) is a breath of fresh air when everything gets a bit to same-y in k-pop.

Other songs of note: Is Who

7. One of Those Nights – Key ft. Crush

Key came in last minute and slapped us all in the face with a perfect album that is reminiscing of SHINee’s work from earlier in the year, but also shows his personality as an artist. The lead single One of Those Nights moves fast and interweaves the melancholy of the lyrics in the music. Both Key and Crush are shockingly good vocalists, but together they just make each other shine even more.

6. Allegro Cantabile – Nature

Random music terms / Italian? I had to check it out. Nature put out something that’s a musical number, j-pop anime opening and k-pop bubblegum all in one. Their vocals are amazing and they are adorable. I’m excited to follow them into 2019.

5. DDU-DU DDU-DU – BLACKPINK

Is this Blackpink’s best offering? No. But what does it say when your not-best is still miles ahead of the competition? Blackpink have been doing k-pop bangers better than anyone else, and DDU-DU DDU-DU, from Jennie’s spitfire rap to Rosé’s melodies, hits all the right spots (like a ddu-du ddu-du).

Other songs of note: See U Later

4. Puzzle Moon – GWSN

This song is so good. These girls are so good. As I put together this list, I realised how much all I wanted in 2018 was a good deep house sample, and GWSN delivered. The bass contrasts elegantly with the tiny voices, and the obscure chorus – “make it moon” – emphasizes the magical atmosphere of this song.

3. Air – Winner

I miss old Winner. New Winner’s YOLO swag annoys me at best, so I dig through their b-sides in search for what we lost when Taehyun left. Air’s appropriately breathy chorus and gentle, romantic atmosphere did it for me and managed to put Winner on my podium yet again. Good job, Winner. Now stop it with the tropical house.

Other songs of note: We Were – Movie Star – Raining – Have A Good Day

2. KILLING ME – iKON

The year started well for me (and everyone else) and iKON with Love Scenario, but I had no idea of where it would bring us. Killing Me’s bitter, moody atmosphere made for the dance song of my dreams. The decisive beat and array of distortions somehow create an eerie, understated atmosphere. It’s a dance song, but make it sad and a little creepy.

Other songs of note: Love Scenario – Rubber Band – Beautiful – Perfect – Freedom – Don't Let Me Know

1. Oh My – Monsta X

I know. I am annoying myself by picking a b-side as my favourite song of the year, but here we are. Monsta X have become one of my very favourite groups and, while their album songs have always been amazing, to me Oh My summarizes everything I love and everything I want from them. In a year of minimalism, it’s loud, larger than life, unafraid of bleeps and bloops, rich in both vocals (Kihyun!) and proper rap sections. It’s the powerhouse that I expect from them and I hope to hear again and again.

Other songs of note: Jealousy – Destroyer – Fallin' – Spotlight

#sunmi #momoland #triple h #exo #gugudan #day6 #jane jang #oh my girl #iz*one #shinee #(g)i-dle #seungri #fromis_9 #gyeongree #sojung #SF9 #exid #nuest #april #in2it #nct u #pentagon #minseo #nature #blackpink #gwsn #ikon #winner #monsta x

[sanjiafsincedayone]

One Piece 902 - Review/Thoughts

Chapter 902 – End Roll - What an emotional chapter… I really liked most of it, but I think it was a little bit weird. I’ll just jump in and give my main thoughts about what happened this chapter.

First, I loved the scene with Sanji thinking about Pedro and the kind of solemn expression Oda drew. I am so glad for all the serious moments we have gotten with Sanji this arc.

Then Carrot coming along to comfort him. It is probably the sweetest moment we’ve seen this whole arc and I think it says a lot that Sanji doesn’t keep on blaming himself after Carrot talks to him. It feels like progress to me, even though Sanji does blame himself, he still understands that it’s not really his fault so to speak. 

Carrot crying after trying to comfort Sanji just went straight to my heart. It’s also really cute with them patting each others heads for comfort. A genuine moment that just makes me wish for two things; 1. That Carrot stays with the crew, if not forever at least in a similar manner to Vivi or Law. 2. That Sanji could act like this more often, especially with women. I love his soft side, and I think we have gotten to see it more often this arc due to the seriousness of the situations that Sanji has been in.

Either way I really loved their interaction and both characters are so soft and sweet it makes my heart ache. The scene is really emotional and it was probably my favorite part of the chapter if I’m being honest.

Then we get to hear Big Mom and her homies sing a song, as we see an overview of what’s going on. 

Amongst others we get this´scene of Sanji and Purin, which is mostly build-up for later, it’s all very bittersweet actually. Especially since we have Sanji with Carrot seemingly having mentally left Purin behind, while she obviously is still thinking a lot about him. It’s a weird kind of romantic angst for Oda to write, but more on that later.

I’m not going to lie but I am so tired of Big Mom at this point… She’s back to normal and nothing changed, they’re still going after the strawhats and basically Oda spent years of the manga writing a plot that only delayed Big Mom. Of course I think Oda has some purpose left with Big Mom, and it’s possible the whole divine cake thing will be relevant again then, but at this point I feel like we spent a lof ot time dragging a plot that didn’t make much of a difference. Honestly, things changed so fast between last chapter and this chapter I almost got whiplash. Is the crew suddenly all safe and ok now since they are out of the territory? I can’t be that easy right?

Not to mention both Germa and the Sun Pirates are still fighting, so it feels off to see the strawhats being all content and happy at the same time.

Anyways, moving on to emotional scene part 2 in this chapter. Purin gets a flashback, and we see some of her inner struggles throughout the arc. I genuinely feel bad for her, but I still wish Oda would have played things a bit differently for her. I understand that she was bullied and felt horrible about herself, and I do sympathize with her, but some of Oda’s decisions when it comes Purin’s story actually feels a bit rushed and forced. I think Oda wrote some scenes for her that mostly just complicated things without any real purpuse in the end... Especially with her doing unnecessary damage to Reiju just for a dramatic effect when it didn’t really lead anywhere in the end, and also how long the time of the readers not being able to trust her was. I don’t know, I really like how Oda has written her after a certain point, but it was so much harder to enjoy her character when I didn’t know where to place her. Personally I wish Oda wouldn’t have used her so much for shock value so that I instead could have developed a better understanding and bond with her sooner. I understand her switch, but it all happened really fast and especially if this is supposed to be genuine romantic development it’s been way too rushed for it to develop a strong foundation.

Either way I think Oda has written Purin and Sanji’s relationship with some odd decisions. I still don’t know where this is going, or if it’s now the end of it all together. Somehow this really feels like an end, but at the same time it would be weird for Purin to just disappear crying like this. I like how Sanji’s kindness was highlighted again, to make a change in Purin, just like it did in Gin so many years ago. But at the same time if Oda truly wants Sanji and Purin to happen I think he should have handled it differently, mainly because Sanji has been so strangely detached and unresponsive to a lot of Purin’s interest in him. I don’t really know why Oda would do that if he really wanted to develop Sanji and Purin as a true romance. So, that leaves two options, either Purin’s part in Sanji’s life is over and she will now go on a journey of her own to discover the world isn’t as cruel as she might have thought. Or two, she will come back, but to me a setup for Purin to come back and perhaps be Sanji’s true love-interest in the series I think Oda should have handled a lot of things differently. But enough about general Sanji and Purin discussion and back to the chapter.

I feel the kiss was pretty obvious, and also Purin taking away the memory of it, since Sanji had no reaction earlier. I feel bad for Purin, but that being said, it really does feel like the end for this plot… At least for now.

Also, just a small side-note… I really hate the nickname “Jiji”. It’s what Sanji usually call Zeff (only with shitty added before it), so I don’t see why Oda would pick that name for Purin to call Sanji. Unless it’s with the intention to draw some strange parallel to Zeff, but that in itself is such an odd idea… It’s basically her calling Sanji “Old man”. No, I’m kind of hoping there is something wonky with the translation on this one. Moving on to emotional part nr. 3!

Now, I did not expect this scene with Katakuri and Brulee, but I really liked it a lot. It’s a sweet moment between them and I loved the quiet support and understanding from Brulee and the highlighting of their bond. Seems like yet another case of enemies possibly turning into allies of the strawhats later on too.

The flashback was nice too, though I think we already recieved the message of “being loved for who you are” both in Katakuri’s and Purin’s story even prior to this chapter and even though it was unexpected to be shown their childhood like this, I did like Oda’s inclusion of it. Oda deciding to develop these characters more now when it’s seemingly the end of the arc just makes it all the more likely that they have future roles to play.

And then we are back to Big Mom’s song again and showing the battle still going on… Seriously Oda, it makes me feel really uneasy to end an arc like this. Big Mom is still a huge threat and their allies are fighting for them, so it’s just weird to have the strawhats really be out of the picture when everything isn’t over… The jump to the strawhats on the next page makes it even worse.

I mean, it’s nice to have some lighthearted crew interaction again, I’ve really missed it. And it’s also nice to have Sanji be truly happy again and the parallel with Zeff was a nice addition and I loved the line of father and son. It’s just a little out of place in my opinion. The ending of this arc was just too rushed, especially compared to how Oda has really dragged some portions of the story this arc. To me Oda is making it seem like the arc is over when it can’t be over. I am looking forward to Wano and not having to deal with Big Mom for a while though (hopefully).

So, all in all lots of great moments this chapter, and plenty of emotional scenes, some of which truly touched me a lot. But the timing just seems off, and with the sweet and touching scenes being mixed with crazy Big Mom and the fight still continuing this chapter is just and odd mix which leaves me feeling a bit uneasy about the development and pacing. 

So, an ok chapter with some really great moments is probably my final verdict. Thanks for reading, hope you had fun and feel free to discuss further and explain your thoughts on the chapter!

#one piece 902 #one piece chapter review #one piece spoilers #sanji #purin #charlotte pudding #charlotte purin #whole cake island #big mom #one piece #manga #One Piece 902 - Review/Thoughts #pedro #carrot #Charlotte Katakuri #charlotte brulee #sanjiafsincedayone #character analysis #relationship analysis

[blurryhoney]

Take A Chance ( Steve Harrington x Reader)

Summary: The group tries to convince Steve to ask the Reader out on a date.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Settings: Hawkins High School, The Wheeler Home, Readers House.

Request: hey I was just wondering if I could request an imagine in which the party tries to convince Steve into asking the reader out thank u and keep up the good work 💗💖💖

Warnings: Cursing

Author: Joy

Note: This story was written by my lovely younger sister who will be making appearances on this page with her writing! I hope you guys enjoy this entire story was written by her I just gave her the request because I knew she would have a perfect idea for it, enjoy! NO GIFS USED THROUGHOUT THE STORY ARE MINE.

Requests are open! Don’t be shy to message me or ask anonymously. :)

Word Count: 3317

I walk into school with thoughts of y/n in my mind. I just.. Can’t stop thinking of her. Her amazing personality, friendship with the kids… plus her cute face is a nice bonus. I’ve been wanting to ask her out for a few days but.. Fuck, i’m too nervous. What if she rejects me..? Or worse, calls me ‘buddy’. I can’t help but sigh out loud as I think to myself, i’ve never had this much of an intense crush. I mean… Nancy… yeah… but, y/n is different. I’ve known her for a while now, and I’ve been crushing on her for a while too. I can’t stop thinking about her, she’s all that has mattered to me recently. Suddenly I feel a hand grasp onto my shoulder and hug me from behind.

“Wha-!” I turn around quickly and see the smiling face of… her. y/n, as beautiful as ever. My heart felt like it was going to burst every time that I saw her. Her eyes seemed to shine, her hair fell perfectly, and… god that smile of hers.

“Sorry for scaring you, Steve. How are you?” she said happily with a happy smirk on her face.

“I was doing alright, but now i’m feeling..” I bring my hand up to my chin and act as if i’m thinking intensely. I hold up a few fingers, “three times better, thanks to you showing up”

She widens her eyes slightly, “Aw! I didn’t know a walking can of hair gel could be so sweet!”

“Hey!”

“I’m just kidding~! That was super.. Super sweet, Steve” she says joyfully, I see her cheeks swell up with a light pink.

My heart is going to erupt. That’s the first… first… ANYTHING i’d ever said to her that didn’t come out completely awful. I feel myself start to sweat, and quickly wipe my forehead. I turn around quickly, “Aha! Well- y/n we better get going, right?”

“Oh- oh God, yeah, I didn’t see the time”

“Pfft. Alright, let’s go” I say as calmly as I can. I.. I’ve made my decision.. I’m going to ask her out tomorrow after school! I just have to before some undeserving hound-dog of a boy asks her out. I can do this!

I walk out of school, the thought of y/n still clinging onto my thoughts. I look around the sea of students leaving to see if I can find her. I quickly find Dustin and y/n chatting it up near the parking lot. Mike, Will, Lucas, and Max behind him. I smile when I see y/n, and start jogging over to them. They all quickly turn to me, Dustin giving me a weird.. Glare?

“Hey, you guys” I say as I step up to them, smiling even bigger as I see y/n’s face. y/n blushes and turns to Dustin,

“Ok, Dusty, I’ve gotta go now~” she says waving her hand a little bit, she looks to me for a split second, “Sorry Steve, we can talk tomorrow!” she quickly runs of not saying another word.

Wha..? What was that about… Did I do something wrong earlier? I look over to Dustin whose glare hasn’t failed to weaken. “Hey bud..?” I say quietly. He steps closer to me and pats my arm gently,

“Hey.. pal’ he says smiling

“Uh..? What’s up with the smile?”

Max chimes in with a smug smirk on her face,

“y/n told us about how you’ve been acting lately! Do you have like a crush on her or something?” she steps closer “She said you’ve been acting kinda off! And she told us what you said earlier this morning! Gosh- she said it so calmly too! Like she doesn’t see what that means~” Mike pats her shoulder

“Max, calm down on lover boy” he says quietly.

I feel my heart stop. Have I SERIOUSLY been acting that obvious lately? I open my mouth to defend myself but Dustin speaks up before I can,

“Steve.. How about you come with us back to Mike’s house. We were going to play some games. But I think we have something else to do now” I look behind his shoulder and see the other three chattering with excitement behind him, I sigh and nod. It’s not like I can just not go with them. Knowing the four, one of them would probably blab to y/n about my feelings by tomorrow afternoon if I don’t oblige.

“Ok-ok but, you can’t tell y/n. I can’t let her know yet---” Dustin hushes me and purses his lips.

“Shh.. I know you’ve got a mega boner for y/n”

“DUSTIN”

“A MEGA HEART BONER” lucas says loudly. I see some weird stares come from some ongoing students, I step closer to them.

“Okokok- shut up, you guys” I say with panic in my voice. “Let’s just go” I see all their eyes light up, and they all begin simultaneously giggling. I sigh yet again, and start stomping over to my car.

“Wait!” Mike yells out to me, I turn around and stare at them like they’re insane.

“What..?”

“What about our bikes!” he said with an annoyed tone in his voice

I stop for a second, looking at my car then back to the four bikes.

“Grab my rope from the trunk”

“Why the hell do you have rope, Steve” Dustin asks

“To tie things to the roof”

I park the car in front of Mike's house, “Alright, we’re here” I grumble as I hop out of the car. They all jump out almost immediately, and they all start heading towards the house. Dustin stops and turns to me and looks at the car. There are three bikes being held onto the roof of the car by two ropes. Barely.

“Are the bikes gonna be alright?”

“Yeah. Mike’s is in the trunk. We can come back out and get them later.. I guess”

Dustin shrugs and guides me into the house. We’re greeted by Karen, AKA Mike’s mom, who’s starting dinner. She smiles at the kids and greets then and turns her head at me.

“Steven? What are you doing here?” she says tilting her head to the side.

I chuckle nervously, slowly following the kids. “Ha.. Just dropping off the group.. Lucas’ bike was actin’ wonky so they asked me to just pick ‘em up.” I give her a cheesy grin. “So now i’m just gonna hang out with them for a bit because they invited me to play dungeons and dragons!” She narrows her eyes at me.

“Oh..?” she looks out to my car and stares at the bikes that are being held onto the roof.

“O..kay” she nods “Oh- and Hopper dropped off Jane a little bit ago.”

“We still call her Eleven” Mike mumbles to himself as he starts going down the stairs into the basement.

I start following Mike down to the basement. They all start chatting away as I sit down uncomfortably in the corner. I see them greet Eleven, she’s just hanging out in the corner alone. Suddenly, she looks over to me and then over to Mike.

“Why is he here..?” she says quietly to the group.

“MEGA BONER” Will half yells, a playful punch quickly coming from Lucas.

“Steve-man here, has a crush on y/n!” Mike says proudly, as he delivers the ‘exciting’ news to her. Elevens eyes widen as she looks over to me quickly,

“Lucas explained to me what ‘Crushes’ are, once.” she says looking over to Lucas and Max. “Lucas your crush is M-” Lucas hushes her almost instantly and looks towards me.

“Yeah! Steve has a crush on y/n” he says, changing the subject. All of them except for Dustin start cackling quietly at the words.

“Come on guys, stop! We need to talk business” Dustin says silencing them.

“Business?”

“Yes, Steven. Business” Dustin whispers as he steps towards me. He motions for the others to come sit down and they do. Dustin clears her throat,

“So you gonna ask her out?” Max says leaning into the table, staring me dead in the eyes. I feel myself start to sweat waterfalls. Hell. I clear my throat in a panic and put my elbow onto the table.

“No-”

“What do you mean no?” Will asks leaning into the table, as Max did a few moments ago.

“I mean- I.. I just don’t know?” I say pathetically as I slump back into my chair. “I wanna but.. I don’t know if i’m going to.. I just have so much to th-”

“Stop with this bullshit, Steve” Dustin says, the others quickly turning to him.

“Bullshit” I hear Eleven whisper under her breath.

“You know you like y/n. You know you want y/n. You gonna GET y/n” Dustin runs his hand through his hair and sighs dramatically. “Ask. her. Out” he says tapping his finger onto the table with every word. The others all nod in agreement and shoot daggers over to me after a few moments.

“Come on! She’s so awesome!” Max shouts, nearly jumping out of her chair. “She’s super cool! And so are you! She can settle for a guy like you! Hell- she’s out of your league, even!” Dustin nudges her shoulder, silencing her.

“Nice way to give him that confidence, Max” he mutters, she sits down and sulks silently. Will leans forward and attention is guided to him.

“I agree with Dustin. If you want her, you’ve gotta go after her, Steve” his eyes are lit with ambition, a look I haven’t seen from him in a while. “You don’t have much time, anyways”

“What do you mean.. time?” I ask

“I mean. Isn’t y/n one of the most praised girls at the high school? Pretty, smart, good personality, AND gets along with us? Like.. a total-”

“BABE” I nearly shout

“Steve. Shut up.” Dustin huffs as he looks back over to Will.

“... a total catch.” he finishes. The whole group lets out a series of ‘Oh’s as he concludes.

My mind has ten million thoughts crashing around, and they’re all screaming at me. I know I have a crush on y/n, I don’t need a group of middle schoolers telling me to act on it. I will… once i’m mentally prepared.

“Steve- if it helps you ask her out quicker…” lucas leans closer into the table, and whispers. “I saw a few guys checking out y/n as she left.” An exaggerated gasp comes from Dustin almost immediately after.

“STEVE. Did you hear that?” Dustin yells, slamming his hand onto the table. “Other men were checking out y/n!” he sits back into his chair and looks at the others like they’re insane for not reacting the same way. “Steve- you HAVE to ask her out tonight” he proposes, surprising me and the others with his the idea.

“Dustin- maybe tonight is too soon?” Mike says leaning closer to Dustin, Dustin rolls his eyes in response.

“No. The ladies LOVE romantic and out-of-the-blue gestures, Mike”

“I’m not sure if that’s always true, love-expert-Dustin” Max says with a smug expression.

“Pfsh.. Listen. I have a game plan..” Dustin stands up and looks at each of us for a moment, “Mike has an old boombox. We have some good ol’ you know.. ‘Foreigner’.. To romance her” he says while motioning towards a boombox that's sitting in the corner with a bunch of crap thrown around it. Wait.. Wait a minute..

“Wait a minute Dustin- What says I want to do this? And- and a boombox? Foreigner?” I sigh with an annoyed tone in my voice, “I guess it is a good song..”

“Yes, Steven, It is a good song” he starts walking over to the boombox, “Your gonna show her what love is” he mumbles under his breath. He picks it up and stomps back over to the table, nearly slamming it onto the table. “Even if you don’t wanna go through with this plan, you’re gonna” he sits down again. “Just play the song, get into her house through the window, then..”

“Then?” Eleven asks as Dustin’s plan seems to crumble

“THEN.. you tell her.. ‘y/n.. Can you show me what love is?’.. She’ll be yours”

The whole group seems to gag in sync. Dustin groans, “Fine, fine. Then.. you just.. Do whatever seems right?” he grumbles. They all nod and then look over to me, as if they want my criticism.

“Uh.. ok.. Ok..ok..okok..”  I say anxiously, “But i’m only doing this because I know for a fact if I don’t you’re all gonna go running to y/n’s house and blab about it” they all seem to light up at my words.

“Ok! Let’s all get going the-” Dustin starts but I quickly stand up and grab the boombox

“No, Dustin. I never said you could come. This is my moment, alright?” I say sternly, looking Dustin in the eyes. He sighs with a hint of disappointment within it, and nods. They all start whispering to one another and I stand up shakily to go confess to.. Her. Just the thought of asking her makes my heart skip a beat, not only because of the thought of her accepting. Because i’m also so damn worried she’ll reject me.. That she’ll feel awkward around me if she rejects me. I hear the kids yelling shouts of encouragement as I leave. I wave goodbye to Karen, and walked out to my car. Shit the bikes. I take about ten minutes to get the bikes off and out of my car, leaving them at Mike’s door.

I stomp back over to my car, grabbing the boombox off of the roof of the car, and speed off to see y/n. My heart is racing miles per minute, and I feel my head fill with excitement and unease as I get closer. I pull into her neighborhood and stop a few houses down from y/n’s. I grab the boombox and run to her house, sneaking around the back. I set the boombox down into the wet grass and look up to her rooms window. The light is on.. I take a deep breath and look down to the boombox. I pick it up gently… and toss it a few feet away. I don’t need foreigner to intrigue y/n. I look around and see a small pile of pebbles near the back door.. Perfect. I go and pick a few up, and glance back over to her bedroom door. It isn’t that high up… I think? I toss a pebble up to her window and wait to see if she heard it, and she doesn’t. I toss a few more, and I finally see a shadow appear at the window. Shit. Should I REALLY have done this tonight..? God..

“Steven~?” She says in a surprised tone as she looks down to me. “What are you doing here..? It’s like.. Nine now” she looks around me and tilts her head as she makes eye contact again. I take another deep breath and take a step forward,

“y/n.. I really need to talk with you. Now” I say as confidently as I can possibly manage. She gives me a concerned look and nods a few moments later.

“Okay.. we can talk but.. I don’t have any rope or anything. I don’t even know if we own a ladder..” She leans out of the window and looks towards the back door. “Oh! You can sneak through the back door. The stairs are right next to-” I immediately begin striding towards the door, I’m determined to tell her how I feel. It didn’t hit me as intensely as it did now but… she really is something amazing. I just can’t wait and expect for other guys to not ask her out, and I know that eventually she’d accept one of them. I can’t let that happen; I can’t let this opportunity slip out of my fingers. I open the door, surprised its unlocked, and step in quietly. I sneakily step towards the stairs… and begin sprinting up them as silently as I can. I reach the top and head towards the door at the end of the hall as quickly and hushed as I could. I quickly open the door and close it softly behind me, y/n walks over to me with a puzzled expression plastered onto her face.

“Steve- can you please explain to me now why you had to be here so.. Unexpectedly?” she says with deep concern within her words. I take a deep look into her eyes, and walk over to her bed to sit down. She follows me and sits beside me, never taking her eyes away from my gaze.

“y/n.. I.. i’ve really been wanting to talk to you about this for months now.. And- well.. A group of munchkins gave me the courage to talk to you about this earlier..” I gently take her hand and hold it softly. “y/n.. You’ve helped me learn so much over the past months we’ve known each other. You’re kind.. Brave.. Smart.. Creative.. And so much more. And I just.. Feel like you should know something”

She stares at me silently for a moment, before gasping and gripping my hand tightly,

“Steve- are you dying?!” she says with anxiousness swelling in her voice and gleaming eyes. Wha.. what?  I tilt my head and raise one of my eyebrows,

“y/n, i’m not dying. I.. I think I love you” her eyes widen and she loosens her grip on my hand.

“Steve..?”

“y/n. I love you, so much. I need you to know that, and I need you to know that now. Tonight, so that even if you don’t return the feelings i’ll know that I at least told you” I lean closer to her, and grab onto her hand with a slight grip. “I wanted to ask you.. If-” I feel myself choke for a moment. I want her to be mine so badly, I want her to return these feelings and to let me protect her. I gulp down my nerves, “I wanted to ask you if you’d be okay with going on a date with me..?” I see her expression relax and her shoulders slump down, she gives me a warm smile.

“My walking hair gel..” she chuckles and rolls her eyes playfully, “I mean- Steve.. Of course I’d go on a date with you”

I feel my heart skip a solid 3 beats. I smile brightly and grasp onto her hand tighter, “Really?” I ask, with disbelief. She laughs and nods, God, that beautiful laugh.

“Yes, Steve. I’d love to.. I actually can’t believe you’d ask me..” she says, blushing an intense shade of pink. I smile and practically feel the joy oozing out of me, I lean closer to her and bring her hand up to my chest.

“y/n.. Can.. can I kiss you..?” I brush loose strands of hair away from her eyes. She smiles and nods a small nod. I lean closer to her and kiss her gently. Her face is warm and I feel my heart burst at the seam with pure joy. She leans away after a moment and smiles warmly,

“y/n.. I love you”

“I love you too, Steve. So… does that mean you’ll buy my popcorn if we go to a movie as a date?”

“What?” I raise my eyebrow and smirk, “is that all this is to you? You only want my popcorn money?” I say acting as if i’m offended.

“Pffft! No~ Steve I was kidding stop~”

I chuckle and kiss her forehead, “I know.. y/n… I love you”

Constructive  criticism is appreciated! Let us know what you think! :) xx  

Tag List: @devintagekids @beautifulbri26 @jems8241 @suzumebailey

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #Billy Hargrove angst #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things one shot #stranger things 2 #billyhargrovexreader #requests open #dacre montgomery #joe keery

[faultystart]

sam’s guide to college apps

note: all of this is based on my experiences! i’m a soon-to-be college freshman who just went through the application process--i’m not an expert or anything! that being said, if you have questions for me about my application process or anything related, feel free to ask! also, this is super long, but i hope you find the advice in it very helpful :)

step one: figuring out which colleges to apply to

perhaps one of the most time consuming steps in the college application process is figuring out what schools you want to apply to! here are my tips from narrowing your potential college list from a few thousand to less than twenty (though i suggest you compile a list of around 7-10 schools to begin with)

- figure out what you want in a college! if you have absolutely no idea what you want in a college, i suggest you visit some close to your home. first compile a list of what objective things you like about a school (location, size, majors offered, etc). also make sure that you could afford the school (use net price calculators to get a rough estimate of how much financial aid a school may give you).

-hopefully, now you’ve narrowed your college list down to a more manageable list of schools! now that you have a list of schools that look good to you on the surface, it’s time to delve deeper. if your school has naviance or something similar, take a look at the stats for applicants. if your school doesn’t (or if you want another source for data), look up common data sets for the range to stats of accepted students. take note of the test scores and other numbers for accepted applicants.

-now it’s time to narrow your list further! ideally, you want to have a few schools you’re likely to get into, a bunch of schools you may or may not get into (around 50/50 chances), and some schools where you could possibly get into (but it’s a long shot). 

-so now you have a list! i suggest you double/triple check the schools to make sure they offer your major, are financially feasible, etc. 

step two: filling out the common app/applications, and other stuff

-for the most part, the common app (which you’ll probably be using), is easy to fill out. the common app website has answers to some frequently asked questions, so you can look there for clarification and help.

-something that i struggled with while filling the common app were the extracurricular descriptions. my advice: describe what you did! if you were club head, what tasks did you do as club head? what did you achieve? space is limited, so don’t be afraid to use choppy sentences, and a little wonky grammar (i omitted subjects and articles when i thought the meaning was clear).

-also: don’t feel obligated to fill up all the extracurricular spots. put the stuff that really matters to you. you can also put things that may not be traditionally considered extracurriculars (like some hobbies--training for a 5k, for example. you could also put down babysitting your siblings or something).

-there will be room in an additional information section where you can explain things! don’t use it as an additional essay space though! for example, you can use the additional info section to explain extenuating circumstances, elaborate on extracurriculars, explain an award, etc. i used the additional information section to clarify that i dropped an extracurricular halfway through the year.

-if you haven’t asked teachers for recommendations, ask them NOW!!! If you don’t know who to ask for recommendations, asking a humanities/social studies teacher and a stem teacher should be pretty good. but it’s ok if you don’t! you can ask two stem teachers or two humanities teachers--just check the requirements of the schools you’re applying to and double check there are no requirements on recommendations. (i learned that the hard way with georgetown when i needed to ask my spanish teacher for a last-minute teacher recommendation)

step three: essays

-in my honest opinion, essays (especially when your stats are slightly sub-par for a school, or when you’re applying to a top school) are much more important than you think! 

-some of you can crank out essays in a flash, and some of you take a while to write an essay. that’s ok! college essays are very different than the essays you’re used to writing in school. you may have heard this before, but show, don’t tell! that doesn’t mean use purple prose, but don’t just say that something happened or you felt a certain way.

-generally, when you write a college essay, you want to start with an anecdote of sorts, something that is interesting enough you don’t lose the reader’s attention, yet still relevant to the topic. for example, i started an essay with “music is my time machine”, it was an essay about music and memory, and how listening to a certain song brings me back to when i was nine and listening to that song for the first time. (hope you guys didn’t mind me using my essays as examples)

-after your little anecdote, you want to get into the meat of the essay: answering the question. personally, i prefer to use one or two anecdotes to answer a personal essay question, but for ‘why school/major’ essays, it’s easier just to explain. 

-after answering the question, if i have some word space left over, i’ll try to come back to the anecdote again! keep in mind though, you do not need to follow this structure i suggested here! college essays are a place to show who you are--don’t let someone else’s suggestions dictate what you say.

-that being said, you do want some other people to look over your essays. they may catch some funky grammar or weird sentences that you don’t see. i found i got the best feedback when my friends looked over my essays! as the college app season gets closer and people start writing essays, i may be willing to look over some people’s if they’d like me to ;)

-speaking of essays, the common app essay is a bit special. it’s super important, since it is sent to all your essays. since the prompts are so open ended, finding the topic/what you’ll write about can be really tricky. I suggest you think of one of two qualities you really want to shine through in your essay, and think of some anecdotes that showcase these character traits. (this is also good advice on brainstorming what to write about in general)

-sam’s special tip for writing a good essay that’s ‘you’: write out an essay without really thinking hard about what you say. i found the essays that best conveyed a passion or were the most ‘me’ were the essays that were almost a stream-of-consciousness. don’t worry about word count or grammar or word choice--first, just get your ideas on the page.

part 5: miscellaneous

-while websites like collegeconfidential and r/applyingtocollege can be kinda toxic and nasty (and make you feel insecure about your accomplishments--avoid the collegeconfidential ‘chance me’ forums), they are also great resources. on r/applyingtocollege, you can find bits of advice from admissions officers and people much more experienced on college admissions/applications than i am

-in the whirlwind of first semester senior year and college applications, take some time to relax!

-don’t procrastinate. don’t do it, please. you will regret it when it’s winter break and you’re scrambling to finish 5 essays in two days.

-know your deadlines!!! some people find it handy to keep all information in a google spreadsheet or something, but i preferred to keep dates in a physical one.

-send in test scores asap!!! check each college’s website to find out their act/sat code, make use of the free score reports you get after the sat, and triple check if that college requires you to send in all scores or not.

part 6: some last notes

-a bit about me, for reference: i’ll be attending nyu, but i was accepted to a total of 7 schools (accepted off the waitlist at one of them--a top 20 university). i was waitlisted then rejected at two other top 20 universities, and rejected at a lot of colleges (so i have a bunch of experience dealing with that). 

-if you made it all the way through this overly long, somewhat rambling post, thank you so much for reading this!! like i mentioned up above, feel free to shoot me any questions you have about my college app experiences, applying to college, etc! i love to give advice to others :”)

#college #college apps #appblr #studyblr #my content #advice #masterpost #tips #college applications #warning: long post #i hope yall find it helpful bc i spent like 3 hours on this thing

[thousandmovieproject]

I didn’t know what the hell was going on here for like the first twenty minutes because the only version of Midnight Song I could find was a grainy transfer on YouTube, which was cracklesome and nostalgic (pleasant in that sense) but it was also hard to see. Also, worse yet, the subtitles appear to be word-for-word translations from the original. English words formatted in Chinese grammar. So we get sentences like, “We allows the enemy’s account excels fierce beasts of that year,” which goes noplace near even making a little bit of sense, and, “It stops rain now, we can do not beat the umbrella.” So the prospect of following the story and writing an essay was daunting and seemed doomed, like I’d have to rely on Wikipedia for a plot summary again.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

It’s at least as funny as it is disorienting but ultimately a story does begin to take shape. The fractured syntax and nonsequitors pick up a strange rhythm, like a secret language between yourself and the movie, and eventually the dialogue starts to ebb just over the line of coherence.

The story is a spin on Phantom of the Opera. A troupe of actors settle into a dusty old theater to prepare for a major performance. Their perfectionist male lead, whose name I can’t find, struggles through rehearsals, starts working on the apparently-challenging role by himself late at night, whereupon, being overheard by a slouching shadowy figure who sings well and was allegedly once a performer of enormous repute, a tutor comes forth, and counsels the young man, until eventually he achieves perfection and the performance is a great success – and while that’s totally ow I remember the movie playing out, I also feel like I’m missing something. I probably am. But I figure the wonky subtitles gave me at least 70% of the story.

Lon Chaney’s unmasking in Phantom of the Opera

Anyway. Eventually the cloaked figure is unmasked (cued by a wonderfully cheesy crash of thunder and lightening) and we see that he’s disfigured. It’s not the demonic disfigurement of Lon Chaney in the source material. Our guy here is disfigured by acid and his face has the droopy, melted-wax quality that – though fleshier than the outcome of an actual acid attack – pretty well achieves the look. It’s shocking, and upsetting, but not horrifying. And now we get the flashback to how it all happened. This is how Midnight Song surpasses Phantom of the Opera. Because even with the ridiculous subtitles, and the awful picture quality, the scene in which the disfigured anti-hero, following the attack that deforms him (which I think he’s made target of on account of political subversion[?]), removes his bandages and sees his face for the first time is one of the most powerful scenes, some of the most remarkable acting, to grace the List so far. I can confidently recommend Midnight Song on the basis of those two minutes alone.

Is it a good movie aside from that? Yes. But I think it only barely pulls enough weight to warrant its place on the List (though there’s something to be said about the East being under-represented up to now – it also begs the question of whether a feature-length movie should be included on the List only because of a single outstanding scene). It makes for an informative contrast against Phantom of the Opera, which is a weaker movie ine very respect. For all of that earlier movie’s mood and powerful images, and its pleasant abundance of Lon Chaney, the iconography of Phantom resides in one or two images, not the whole movie. I’m strongly of the opinion that most people who say that they really like the movie aren’t actually fans of the film overall but, rather, of its camp, and a couple of well-accomplished scenes. Midnight Song is supplied, twice over, with the heart that was missing from Phantom. Maybe that’s not such a fair comparison to make, because one had the privilege of sound and the other didn’t (although that’s not always a default excuse, the use of sound does give a skilled director an extra tool), but Phantom of the Opera is pretty clearly meant to shock its audience more than move them. That’s the whole premise of its quality: it’s socking. But time has stripped it of shock value. So what’s left?

Also, Phantom of the Opera is just a clusterfuck of a movie. It’s got four directors and no momentum.

Midnight Song gets kinda weird in its second half. The phantom believes that his ex-girlfriend – to whom he long ago faked his death so that she would never have to see his deformity – will be able to finally cope with his passing if she’s visited, and consoled, by his ghost. So he goes to his young protégé and says, basically, “Dess like me, talk like me, and go console her, at midnight, as though you were my wandering spirit.” And it goes on from there.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

A personal weakness when it comes to evaluating a movie is that I’m a sucker for well-crafted mentor/protégé relationships. Whether it’s a father-son or master-pupil thing, there’s something about that dynamic that I find really compelling. We don’t get much of it here, with the phantom coaching the young actor, and even though they’re essentially peers, working in the same field and not so far apart in age, there’s an Old Master quality to the phantom. But eventually the old master proves needy. His air of authority crumbles under that neediness.

This is gonna prompt another tangent, forgive me: there’s an older guy I work with, his name’s Bill, and Bill’s a sweetheart, he’s always bending over backward to help people out and he’s been doing that kind of thing his whole life. What’s his is yours. That kinda guy. The thing is this, though: Bill doesn’t drive, on account of he’s 81 and can’t see so well (actually gets routine injections in his eyeballs), and as a result of this he’s constantly bumming rides from people. Students, mainly. But when a student isn’t around, he comes to me. There was a period where I was taking him home almost every night for several months. And the conversation was always pleasant, and stopping by his house didn’t call for much of a detour from my usual route, but it did mean that I’d get home at 9 p.m. instead of 8:30 – which is kind of a big deal when you’re waking up early (at the time I was both a high school substitute and a tutor at the college, so I’d wake up at 5 a.m. four days of the week). But he was so nice that it felt monstrous to refuse himt he service.

But then he started asking to stop at Walgreens on the way home. And at Starbucks. And at Don Pan (a chain of bakeries down here in Miami). If I told him I didn’t wanna stop, that I had to get home, he’d say, “Well then just drop me off and I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

OK, Bill. Sure. You’re fucking 81 tears old and I’m gonna have you walk two miles in the dark with your arms fulla shit you just bought.

Eventually I boiled the proposition down to a quick phrase. He’d ask for a ride and I’d say sure – “no stops, though.” He’d balk at this sometimes, get condescending; on more than one occasion he stormed outta the room. Eventually he stopped asking.

But Bill came in here this past Saturday, there was a little over an hour left in my shift, and he’d just finished with his classes fr the day and he was ready to go home. He starts drumming his fingers on the counter, making small talk with my colleague, glancing over at me. I’m editing an essay. I know he needs a ride. But I’m doing work so I just keep my eyes on the page. Speak when spoken to.

After a couple minutes he said bye and left. My colleague and I exchanged looks.

“Think he wanted a ride?”

I shrugged, and kept working.

There’s a part of me that self-flagellates whenever I turn Bill down, or dodge his questions or just keep away from him because I don’t even wanna be asked, but there’s another part of me, the busy part, that feels no shame at all. Feels with resolve that if he wants a ride from me he’s gonna choose one destination.

Not sure what the right course of action might be here. Or if there is one. But I’m definitely compelled to give him the ride just outta fondness for the guy, as it doesn’t cost me much more than my time, but I’m impaled on the fence of whether or not it makes me a rotten person to delineate what might be rudely strict parameters on that generosity. If I compare the degree of inconvenience these rides impose upon me to the convenience they provide for Bill, the answer should be obvious: give him the ride! Don’t make this dude take the bus again. Don’t put him in the situation of having to call everybody on his phone to see who’s willing to come by and give him a ride.

But at the same time: fuck. I don’t wanna make all these stops.

Anyway. Midnight Song is good, I can see myself watching it again, but I think I’ll go for the official translation next time.

#108. Midnight Song (1937) I didn’t know what the hell was going on here for like the first twenty minutes because the only version of…

#acting #chinese cinema #cinema #colleague #directing #director #ethics #film #film school #filmmaker #filmmaking #ghost #grief #horror #lon chaney #loss #movies #office drama #performance #phantom #phantom of the opera #stage #theater #thespian