#Living with a narcissistic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nothing0fnothing · 9 months

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being like this and living with someone who doesn't understand is so hard.

#narcissistic abuse #parental abuse #cptsd life #complex trauma #just cptsd things #actually cptsd #cptsd recovery #living with cptsd #cptsd problems #mental health #mentally fucked #actually mentally ill #overwhelmed #therapy #coping #mental illness

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pastelchad · 2 months

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I know it’s common for RE fans to lament the fact that Leon never got to live his dream of being a cop but I feel like he was going to have a severely rude awakening resulting in the loss of his innocence either way. His chief of police was a serial rapist and murderer who liked to taxidermy his victims’ bodies. In an AU where umbrella never existed and there’s no zombies he most likely would have been harassed/threatened off the force bc he tried to expose Irons.

#leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #brian irons #resident evil #u know all those ACTUALLY good cops whose lives were ruined bc they have common human decency? 💯% Leon #this is before getting into wesker being a sociopathic narcissist who makes others do his dirty work #like Leon would have had his life completely obliterated no matter what #silly boy #headcanon

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autopsyfreak · 2 months

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‘i’m not jealous’

also me:

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selfhealingmoments · 3 months

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videogamelover99 · 3 months

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Bill Cipher angst at 2AM??? Also plz read Flat Dreams

#gravity falls #bill cipher #flat dreams #gravity falls art #my art #fan art #vee's art #liam cipher #pengychan #flat minds #bill in this fic is a narcissistic little shit but also he has so much internalized self-loathing #bill gets a tragic backstory but its like. good #he's still an absolutely terrible person #not to me though. he did nothing wrong #its been SEVEN YEARS and this triangle is STILL living in my head rent free #who's excited for the Book of Bill

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stealingpotatoes · 4 months

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*drowns you in love and baked potatoes*

#she died as she lived: narcissistically and surrounded by potatoes #thanks for the ask!#self potes-trait

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spookietrex · 2 months

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rejectingrepublicans · 2 months

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youtube

🤣

1 minute video.

#mar a lago #mar a lardo #republican assholes #traitor trump #assisted living #Trump’s cognitive decline #narcissistic personality disorder #crooked donald #trump humor #political humor #maga morons #Youtube

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earlgodwin · 9 months

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"It’s interesting that Juan’s attempt at relieving pain is through closeness and hugging and love. When he forgives Cesare at the end saying how they’re brothers and wants to be together, I think that’s genuine. That’s the first time you realize what he’s always wanted." (x)

#“I glimpse us cesare. two brothers in harmony. walking together.”#francois saying cesare refused to listen to juan because he *knows* he can change his mind about killing him still living in my mind #something about cesare humilating juan and making fun of him and even set him up to die at forli by not warning him about ludovico's army #and yet juan still loves him anyway because his jealousy of cesare is unserious unlike cesare's jealousy of juan which is a deadly hatred #ngl juan is so funny because he'd rather die than being sappy. he's too narcissistic and prideful to reach out for cesare or his family #but he only reached out to him in his final moment when he was vulnerable and going through it. it was too late rip #confessing to cesare that he's a fuck-up and he's always been in pain etc i missed you we should love each other wah wah type of speech #juan borgia #cesare borgia #the borgias #juan and cesare #david oakes #francois arnaud #theborgiasedit #periodedits #perioddramaedit #tvedit #cinemapix #tvarchive #by jen

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lostmf · 7 months

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I was born into a house cursed by my parent’s sadness and rage

My monsters weren't in my closet

they were in the kitchen

the living room

the bedroom

they watched me go to school in the mornings

and i tiptoed around them at night

it's hard to feel safe in the world

when you were raised in a haunted house

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nothing0fnothing · 8 months

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Family, teachers, friends of my parents, parents of my friends, doctors. ..

I was not secretive about any of what I was going through. I'd been told that if anyone ever hurt me to tell an adult and I did that every single time. I would find an adult I thought could be safe, I'd tell them my experience and I'd wait for it to get better. It never did.

#vent post #raised by narcissists #narcissistic abuse #toxic parents #toxic mom #parental abuse #childhood trauma #dysfunctional family #complex trauma #dysfunctional household #cptsd life #just cptsd things #cptsd recovery #living with cptsd #cptsd problems #actually cptsd

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regicidal-defenestration · 1 year

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I'VE GOT A LOT OF GUTS BUT ALL THEY DO IS SIT INSIDE ME AND TAKE UP SPACE CHURN AND ACHE

[ID: someone wearing a pale grey hoodie, shown from the front and back. On it has been sewn a variety of fabric organs in bright colours - pink lungs, an orange spleen, yellow liver, red stomach, purple kidneys, a blue colon, and a small intestine represented by pale green squiggles on a darker green rectangle. Over these are ribs and a spine in white. End ID]

#the words are from the song a better way to live by the narcissist cookbook very good song would recommend #anyway I have been working on this for So Long I genuinely have no idea what yo do with my free time now #shout out to flamanti's neon guts work jacket for inspiring this one

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autopsyfreak · 2 months

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having to make changes to my appearance every so often, no matter how big or small those changes are, just to feel like i have some sort of control over my lack of a sense of self

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whatwedoinsilence · 2 years

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Abuse comes in waves. So does pain.

You spent months being civil with each other, kind even. They do things for you, buy you clothes, groceries, say nice things and ask about your day. And you start to forget. You start to feel guilty. Why did I hate them? Why was I angry? Why did I want to leave? That was awfully mean of me. They need me. If I leave, they'll be all alone.

Then it all comes crashing down. One little thing lights up the flames and sparks a reaction. It happens fast, but feels like it lasts a lifetime. They say "things they didn't really mean", they "let anger get the best of them", and you're at the receiving end, scared, alone and not able to react.

And you start to remember. You place this memory with all the others, like a bunch of crystal ornaments on a shelf. You start noticing the patterns. You even make excuses for them. I was too loud, too aggressive, too mean. I deserved it. I deserve this.

Hours later, when you're safe and sound in your room, the reaction finally hits. You cry and sob, you want to scream but know you can't. You want to leave but have nowhere to go. You have no choice but to stay put and feel the pain. The pain from this moment and all the others that preceeded it. The pain from all the chances you had to leave but didn't take. The pain from all the instances you believed they changed.

And you know, once they wake up, it'll be like it never happened. Kind words and kind gestures, all over again. And you have no choice but to play along, otherwise who knows what might happen.

Every week. Every month. Every year. A new little crystal ornament for my collection. A new memory for me to obsess over and try to prove to myself that it wasn't that bad, that I barely got hurt, that it could've been worse.

I wonder how long it'll take for the next ornament to arrive. I wonder if I'll have enough space for it on the shelve.

#child abuse survivor #living with your abuser #abusive mother #abusive father #abusive parents #abusive relationship #verbal abuse #physical abuse #emotional abuse #narcissistic behavior #surviving narcissism #narcissist mother #narcissist parents #narc abuse

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montaguespades · 29 days

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Narcissists: "Narcissism isn't BAD or EVIL it's an ILLNESS you monster, stop saying bad things about meeeee!!!"

Narccisistic Abuse Survivors:

- Regularly having breakdowns because their trauma resulted in insecure attachment styles that they misconstrue in their own selves as a potential that they're a narcissist, no better than their abuser, doomed to be a monster, etc...

- Regularly wallowing in shame and suffering because their narc abuser will NOT leave their traumatized brains

- Regularly forced to take cocktails of pills and attend Christmas dinner regardless of the true source of their trauma because PTSD is annoying for everyone else

- Regularly invalidated by ignorant people with healthy families because they can't fathom the thought of a parent or partner being that deeply and intentionally malicious for no justifiable reason, or because narcissists put on convincing, charismatic faces in public

- Regularly reduced to shit-tier careers because they can't stand up for themselves in the face of exploitation, or "compete" with others AND handle daily life

- Regularly searching for a new therapist because every single one wants to obfuscate the truth about why their patient is not getting better, but will continue to milk their wallets/insurance regardless

- Regularly told that they should just "get over their issues with their parents" or "move on" without any access to reasonable trauma informed care, and with absolutely no one to talk to outside of that either because most people huffed the copium that "your toxic parents did their best" and shut them down

Narcissists: "Narcissistic abuse isn't REAL you ableist!!! Stop judging a WHOLE demographic for being so abusive that capitalism can't even find a way to profit off of our toxicity! We're SOOOOO sad and lonely, throw us more victims! It's the RIGHT THING TO DO!!!!"

Honestly, who are you people trying to fool, other than yourselves the way you do in the mirror every single day?

#cptsd recovery #anti capitalism #narcissistic abuse #living with cptsd #narcissistic abuse support #raised by narcissists #childhood abuse #narcissistic abuse survivor #toxic parents #surviving narcissism #narcissisticabuserecovery #real narcissism #ptsd #narcissistic personality disorder

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prince-liest · 2 months

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oh my god. your wording in one of ur latest anon answers. does…. is val the only one who does the dumping? does vox never dump val??? i always like… idk i assumed that they both broke it off in a never ending downward spiral, mutually. but oh my GOD? you’re saying val is the only one doing the breaking up? i….. this is shifting my entire perspective on vox. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. not to beat a dead dove here (that was a brilliant pun yes i’m stealing it), but……… this is sliding right into my vault where i keep my Vox and Domestic Violence Thoughts. he just seems so…. helpless. he’s helpless all the time and in complete denial about it. at first it was clear he’s pretty helpless around alastor -in both canon and your fic. alastor is stronger, and also, in the beginning had the Extreme emotional upper hand. i knew this, yet, like in canon, i assumed more or less alastor was the chink in his armor. vox DOES run the vee’s competently, he handles val, and he’s arguably the fourth most powerful sinner in hell (behind zestial, carmilla, and alastor). those 3 things are true, AND YET. let’s look behind the wizards curtain. how does vox live his Personal life. not his job or position of power. how does his close relationships define him. let’s see now. the initial intense obsession with alastor, which had ONLY left him rejected and humiliated. helpless. and now val. i Assume vox enacts some physical violence on val, too, but something in his wording in the last installment. vox made the point to compare alastors straight up murder attempts to how val acts. i do not think vox does that with val, at least not in a trivial and common manner (he has said the vee’s have all killed e/o before). and when i said “sure he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment” in another ask, i MEANT that vox could break up with val for a couple days before crawling right back like nothing happened. but NO. NOT EVEN THAT. vox endures, and he ultimately does Nothing. NOTHING. and not even that, he is subjected to val breaking it off in a cyclic manner, for superficial or nonexistent issues. and then after a week val will call and vox will come crawling back like nothing happened, and the timer for 4 months begins again. through everything, EVERYTHING, vox really just seems… passive in the grand scheme of things. it’s paradoxical, because he’s also outrageously ambitious. i think that’s one of his core character traits, a constant greed and pursuit of it. that’s unequivocally true about him. but then we look at his love life, and what do we see? he lets the two men he loves basically do whatever they want with him. and he does it because he loves them, as well as being unable to admit he’s suffering. i will say, from now on it’s clear that his relationship with alastor is veering off this direction, but i want to STRESS that it was actually ALASTOR that cemented that. vox, in a spurt of emotion, let it slip out his history of domestic violence. then, promptly brushed it off to appease alastor. he set the terms of the deal, but he did it as a silly pinky promise. he, again, never allows himself to take it SERIOUSLY. because IF HE DOES!!!! then he needs to set boundaries AND ABIDE BY THEM!!!!!!!! AND WHAT THEN. WHAT THEN. THEN THE NEXT TIME VAL OR ALASTOR CROSS A LINE, HE NEEDS TO END IT. LEAVE. DO ANYTHING. AND HE IS NEVER GONNA DO THAT!!!!!!!! and here’s the real fucking kicker…… he expects them to. to keep hurting him. that’s the root of it. it’s not a real boundary, because it’s an inevitability. valentino and alastor will always want to hurt him, so a relationship without that violence is nonexistent. (that’s what he believes btw. hopefully not the truth). and so, vox has made his choice. he’s a businessman, and he has weighed the pros and cons. the violence and crossed boundaries he faces is outweighed by his love for them, and ultimately, that means they can do whatever they want to him. he is helpless.

(this was an entire rant, dear god. and of course the disclaimer that this is all my personal delusions, and not necessarily your take on vox in your series. i swear, i never know how these asks get so long. i promise i start of with a simple idea, then it all implodes into an essay. so sorry. love you.) -🌓

I have good news and bad news for you, anon!

The bad news is that I have misled you slightly: My actual full perspective of the Valentino and Vox on-and-off dating situation is that Vox dumps Valentino when he feels a sufficiently angry flavor of upset that Valentino refuses to listen to him on some things (usually not, actually, the violence, unless Val breaks something for Vox to be angry about); and Valentino dumps Vox when he wants Vox to annoyedly pretend not to moon after him for a week. In both situations, sometimes Vox ends up giving up the ghost and functionally crawling his way back to Val, but more commonly Valentino decides that he's had enough and rather handily seduces Vox into a round of what Vox promises himself is hate sex and not makeup sex but is inevitably always very sappy makeup sex with a side of lovebombing.

This is. Arguably not that different of a flavor from what you're describing, haha, especially since a lot of Vox managing to be the one to break things off at any given point in time hinges on him being able to frame his rationale as "anger" rather than "upset," the latter of which just gets brushed under the carpet of Emotions That Are Not Taken Seriously. He can act on a great many things if he justifies them as something he is right to be objective and angry over, including outright killing Valentino at least once at some point in the past, but anything that makes him feel vulnerable or, ah, let's deliberately and pointedly use the word hysterical, is a pre-existing internal struggle that Valentino knows how to manipulate to his advantage.

The good news is that this lovely analysis inspired me to almost completely rewrite a section of the next 666 fic that I'd been dissatisfied with. I initially wrote Vox as annoyed; what he needed to be was Very Stressed And Upset in a way that distinctly refused to dare stray into anger because the fundamental concern was about what Alastor wanted - just as you described, Vox fumbling his own distress with his learned helplessness when it comes to intimate relationships. Anyway, now I'm WAY happier with it! So thank you very much for that!

#ask #personal #half moon anon #666 live on air #my writing #long post #posting a snippet in a sec before I head to bed as a thank u <3 #god I do love staticmoth tho #they're All That Horrible Mess and they're fucking adorable and in very fucky love on top of it #val has supported vox in ways nobody else ever has and is in fact genuinely very very fond of vox #he's just also a manipulative narcissist with severe anger issues! oops!#get you a man that can do both!#(don't. please for the love of god don't.)#cw abuse #cw domestic violence #staticmoth

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