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#but then its something so common i have realised
enha-doodles · 12 hours
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I saw some shorts in yt where the girl stalk her crush, spikes his drink, and kidnap him. But turns out he's been stalked her back as well and getting kidnapped was actually in his plan to get close to her (they're both just as freak)
I could imagine this scenario with Jay but its up to you anyway (my english suck lmao im so sorry)
NOT SO DIFFERENT | ✧⁺。
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Pairing : yandere!Jay x yandere!reader
Notes : it's finally doneee , tysm for requesting and waiting for it so long 😭😭😭
Warnings : yandere stuff , obsession , intoxication , spiking drink , kidnapping
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Our school bell rung signalling the most awaited time , the lunch break . The teacher was in the middle of speaking as the bell rung and as soon as the students heard the ringing there was alot of scrapping of chairs , chit chatting , laughing and overall a very annoying commotion. I stood up as yunjin made her way to my desk whinning "common girl you take so long to pack up , I'm hungryyyy" okay I love my bestfriend but I do not take that long and this bitch has no absolute patience . I rolled my eyes at her as we walked towards our regular seat with our food .
We were in the middle of gossiping along with eating as heeseung came with Jay and sat with us . I blushed a bit as I saw them and i could hear yunjin holding her laugh . I elbowed her as heeseung spoke up "hello guys , what's up" yunjin stopped laughing as she answered "we were just gossiping, talk of gossip I heard one guy of your group started dating is it one of you guys?" She wriggked her eyebrows teasingly as the three of them laughed meanwhile i couldn't help but tense at her words . It can't be him , I know it since I've been following him from 1 week continuously. Heeseung saw my expression as he cleared it out "no no it's just a rumour, none of us are dating anyone"
Yunjin smiled as she saw heeseung reassuring me . I could tell- honestly scratch that everyone could tell that heeseung liked me and according to him as well as a few other people, I like him back . Yunjin was one of the 'other people' and she alwyas tries to do something to get us together , giggling over a simple interaction we having that she quotes as 'absolutely romantic ' . I don't know where they get this ridiculous idea.
Okay to be honest I do know where they get the idea from but they are getting it all wrong . Yes I blush when he's around , yes my eyes always searches for his group , yes I fix my hair when I see him coming but it's not because of him . It's because of the guy he's always around with - It's because of Jay . They are bestfriends and are practically attached to the hip with the amount of time they spend together.
I first saw him at the guitar class in our school , then at the committee meeting , then at the cafeteria and then it was everyday. Slowly i was starting to realise that I liked him but it was just a mere attraction. Though the reality quickly changed when my mere attraction turned into obsession. My occasional glances turned into staring , i came to guitar classes not for the guitar but for him , and the worst of all I started following him . I just couldn't get enough of his smile , his scent just him in general and it was driving me crazy!! I wanted him to be mine and mine only .
Snapping back at the cafeteria I heard heeseung speak , "sooo Jake's having a party tonight at our dorm , you guys coming right?" I was about to politely decline but yunjin spoke before me eagerly accepting his invitation "oh offcourse, we need a break . The assignments are killinngg me" All the while I was just staring at jay and suddenly our eyes met but he didn't look away , his eyes were so intense and so deep that i could litteraly drown in them . Heeseung broke our eye contact as he stood up "okay greatt!! Meet you guys tonight at 8 " and with that they left . Yunjin looked at me as she squealed "he's sooo in love with you and you just can't stop blushing, just date already ohmygod!!!" I scoffed as I shook my head and stood up holding my tray "common you know I don't like him let's go we're getting late" . She followed me as she continued speaking "oh yeah sureee" making sure to exaggerate the sure .
。    ✧    ⁺     。
In the bustling chaos of a crowded party, amidst the pulsating rhythm of music and the cacophony of laughter, there was one figure who stood out to me like a beacon in the night: Jay. He was the epitome of effortless charm, his smile lighting up the room as he effortlessly commanded the attention of everyone around him.
We had reached to the party a bit late but the night was still young . I stared at jay as yunjin went to dance with some guy . He was the only one in mind , my every waking moment filled with fantasies of us together. But I knew that in reality, we inhabited two separate worlds, destined never to intersect.
On this particular night, fueled by a cocktail of desire and desperation, I made a decision that would change the course of both our lives forever. As I watched Jay mingle with the crowd, his laughter ringing out like music to my ears, I knew that I had to make him mine, by any means necessary.
The plan unfolded with chilling precision, each step calculated to perfection. I approached Jay with a coy smile, my heart pounding in anticipation as I engaged him in conversation. He was charming and attentive, his words weaving a spell around me as I struggled to maintain my composure.
As the night wore on and the drinks flowed freely, I seized my opportunity, discreetly slipping a potent sedative into Jay's drink when he wasn't looking. A rush of adrenaline coursed through my veins as I watched him take a sip, my pulse quickening with every passing moment.
With bated breath, I waited for the drug to take effect, my nerves fraying at the edges as I grappled with the enormity of what I had done. But as Jay's eyes began to droop and his movements grew sluggish, a sense of exhilaration washed over me, drowning out the whispers of doubt that threatened to consume me whole.
。    ✧    ⁺     。
When Jay finally succumbed to the effects of the sedative, I wasted no time in carrying out the next phase of my plan. With trembling hands, I guided him out of the crowded party and into the cool night air, my heart pounding with a mixture of fear and excitement , lying effortlessly to anyone that asked what happened to him - "oh he just drank too much"
As I navigated the deserted streets, Jay's limp form slung over my shoulder, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was on the precipice of something extraordinary. This was my chance to finally possess the object of my desires, to make him mine in every sense of the word. But damn was i a fool , i should've known . It was too good to be true , too easy .
When Jay finally regained consciousness, his reaction was not what I had expected. Instead of fear , confusion , screaming or thrashing there was a glint of something else in his eyes, something that sent a shiver down my spine. He was too calm for my liking .
"Nice place , though I do prefer a fancy bed but this works just fine I guess ?" Jay's voice was calm, almost eerily so, as he gazed at me with an intensity that made my blood run cold. "You know these ropes are cheap for a reason right ?" He said as he pulled his hands from behind his back and rubbed the spot where the bruise was forming
I recoiled in shock, my mind racing as I struggled to comprehend what was happening. Why is he so calm ? Does he think i actually got him here because he was drunk ? Or does he think we had sex ? But that doesn't explain the rop- "calm down sweetheart, I can tell you're thinking too much" he interrupted my thoughts sweetly with his honey like voice flowing through my mind . He stood up and gently tugged at my wrist as he pulled me closer and leaned down a bit inhaling the scent of my perfume which I bought because it was his favourite "hmmm my favourite perfume, got it correct sweetheart . How could you not you litteraly were behind me when I was shopping" he chuckled at the last part .
How could Jay possibly know about my obsession with him? And more importantly, why was he so unnervingly calm in the face of danger?
"It was all part of my plan," Jay continued, his words sending a chill down my spine. "I knew you were obsessed with me, so I decided to play along. But now that the tables have turned, it's time for you to realize who's really in control." He sighed as he sat me down on the bed , holding my hands in his own "we are meant to be darling , psychos like us are destined to be with each other for eternity and it's about time you accept it - not like you have a choice"
As Jay spoke, a sense of dread washed over me, the realization dawning that I had vastly underestimated him. He was not the helpless victim I had imagined him to be; he was a predator, lurking in the shadows, waiting to strike when least expected. He was the danger and i was the victim but did I seem to oppose the idea ? Fuck no , how can I when even as fear coursed through my veins, there was a part of me that couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of exhilaration. Jay's admission of his own obsession with me sent a thrill coursing through my body, igniting a fire within me that burned brighter than any fear or doubt.
In that moment, I knew that I had a choice to make: to succumb to the darkness that threatened to consume me, or to embrace it fully and revel in the intoxicating power it offered. And as I gazed into Jay's eyes, his gaze burning with an intensity that mirrored my own, I made my decision to fall in the darkness afterall was there any kind of experience that could make you complete other than knowing that the one you're in madly love with is also in love with you but just more insanely.
As we gazed at each other , there was a loud voice heard "CUT !! YOU GUYS WERE AMAZING" we both smiled as we heard the director . This was our 3rd music video shooting together after one of the first ones went viral . This was a new concept to us though it did not at. all. mean the love we showed , we presented was fake . We've been in a relationship for the past 7 years and been married for 2 now and it was the bestest decison of my life , he's made me the happiest I've ever been and I would not have it any other way . As the director was done talking to him , Jay approached me as he embraced me in an affectionate hug , our bodies fitting each other like a puzzle . He whispered "We really are meant to be , aren't we darling?" In my opinion we are not so different from the characters we just played and that's the thrill in our life .
。    ✧    ⁺     。
Taglist : @axartia @nikipedia07 @lovesickxmina
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pureastrologywisdom · 14 hours
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𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔥
A man’s Lilith conjunct a woman’s ascendant 
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I have been getting a lot of questions about this placement in a synastry chart so I thought I would make a post on it. I will also be touching on when a woman Lilith comes in contact t with a mans personal placements also.
A mans Lilith is a placement that shows what he finds attractive yet intimidating in a woman. He desires her but he fears her at the same time. Because of this having your ascendant aspecting this point in his chart is very intense. Its creates this magnetism, a sort of push pull affect within him. When a woman’s ascendant falls here he is extremely physically attracted to her. The ways she carries herself is very interesting to him, he finds her sexy. This is initially a more visual attraction, however it can grow overtime into something deeper, especially if you have other placements to support you.
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In the worst case scenario, Lilith in a mans chart shows you the type of woman he wants or tries to control. He is initially attracted to all these wild and enticing things about her, but when he has her he tries to dampen her fire. The more insecure and undeveloped a man is the more likely he is to fall into this outcome from the placement between you. On the rare occasion, if a man has issues with his feminine energy or rejects the feminine in his life, he may be repulsed by her because of her free and untamed nature. Its something he cannot understand or empathise with.
However if he is secure, confident within himself and has worked on himself he is more likely to admire how powerful you are and it only adds to the attraction between you two.
I will say with this placement more often than not, a woman with this synastry with him will be his weakness in some way or other, not always in a bad way. Lilith is a representation of pure feminine power, that is often untapped because this is an area that is repressed within a woman through her life and growing up by family, peers and society itself. 
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Having this placement with a partner in synastry can also show at the best of times that this man will help her feel more connected to her own power and femininity. He can help her open up to this side of herself. This is also the case when a woman’s Lilith is aspected by a personal planet in a mans chart - more common when it’s this way around. 
In turn, the woman can help him surrender to the feminine and embrace her. Healing his own wounds around women and femininity. Realising that its not something to control or tame but something to admire and work with.
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Thank you for reading everyone. This is a topic I am extremely passionate about and I love working with Lilith in clients charts.
If you would like to work with me in embracing this side of yourself through your natal chart send me a message on here or email me at [email protected]
Please title your email ‘Lilith work’ - My Lilith readings are priced at £5
I am so grateful to you all who follow me and work with me
Pureastrowisdom <3
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salsadifragola · 2 years
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garlicowboy · 1 year
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jarring to come to terms with the fact that life isn’t always devastatingly heart-wrenchingly painfully awful and it isn’t always incredibly beautifully wonderful either. most of the time it’s just like. mediocre and boring. it’s pretty ok. it’s just another day again. you know?
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zombienarc · 2 years
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One thing I've learned is that people need me more than I've needed them.
#They just like to keep me in a state where my mental illnesses are constantly triggered. Once I realise what they are doing#I see them for who they really are. Scared children. Always having to put on a show and play victim.#They want to be right because it feeds their ego. They want to be a victim so that they can always be in the right. Victims can't be wrong#Victims are protected by society. I've never made myself a victim but I do realise when these weak people take advantage.#Good people don't need to prove that they are good. Victims don't need to prove that they are victims.#Evil people don't have the to prove that they are evil. Actions speak for themselves. I am not all bad or all good.#Narcissists hide behind the pain they bring on themselves. People.. at the end of the day want to relive their traumas because-#-its familiar. The people I have been with romantically all have a few things in common. The need to be right and the need to be a victim.#I satisfy that desire in them. They get to say ‘see! look! I've been victimized! I did nothing wrong!!’#I'm done giving that to them in a way they can prove. If they deserve something I will deliver but not in a way that puts me in jeopardy.#Not in a way that lets them talk about how terrible ive been to them. Jokes on them though.. I've convinced everyone that they are crazy.#You brought this on yourself and it will always be your burden to carry because I won't. I am great and everyone sees that.#It's definitely two people to stay in a relationship. It's definitely two people to stay friends. It's definitely two people to fight.#You can't stand that you are not only wrong but you are not the perfect victim you set out to be. Two stories. Hey.. guess what?#Enjoy the trauma and the ‘trauma’. I hope it's all you've every wanted. I hope it helps you sleep at night. I hope all of it was worth it.#d#b#m#k#p#and anyone else who makes this list.#txt
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itlswhatltls · 1 year
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Rivalries aside, the whole deal with the racism against Vinicius is absolutely disgusting and Real Madrid should be ashamed for not standing up for their own player. And Benzema well.. i always knew he was a piece of shit but the attitude he had just proved my point even more. A captain has many roles and perhaps the most important one of them all is standing up for your teammates and fight for them when it's needed, and that's precisely what he didn't do. But enough of that already, racism is wrong no matter the player or the club. I hate Real and i am not a fan of Vini, but what happened needs to not be repeated ever again and all the racists involved need to be severely punished. It's heartbreaking to see a player crying on the pitch, slowly losing the passion he had for the game, and losing the passion for the team he plays for. That's not what football is about, at least it's not what it should be about anyways. Everyone should support Vinicius despite their club. Any attitude other than support, comprehension, compassion, revolt over this is wrong. Racism is wrong. We should all stand together to fight against it. And shame on Tebas for not doing anything about it as well; he has all the power and still chooses to fuck up the league even more and leaving its players feeling increasingly more dissapointed and unsafe. I stand with Vini and everyone who has to face racism, xenophobia or any other kind of prejudice
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suzannahnatters · 1 year
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So here's one of the coolest things that has happened to me as a Tolkien nut and an amateur medievalist. It's also impacted my view of the way Tolkien writes women. Here's Carl Stephenson in MEDIEVAL FEUDALISM, explaining the roots of the ceremony of knighthood: "In the second century after Christ the Roman historian Tacitus wrote an essay which he called Germania, and which has remained justly famous. He declares that the Germans, though divided into numerous tribes, constitute a single people characterised by common traits and a common mode of life. The typical German is a warrior. [...] Except when armed, they perform no business, either private or public. But it is not their custom that any one should assume arms without the formal approval of the tribe. Before the assembly the youth receives a shield and spear from his father, some other relative, or one of the chief men, and this gift corresponds to the toga virilis among the Romans--making him a citizen rather than a member of a household" (pp 2-3). Got it?
Remember how Tolkien was a medievalist who based his Rohirrim on Anglo-Saxon England, which came from those Germanic tribes Tacitus was talking about? Stephenson argues that the customs described by Tacitus continued into the early middle ages eventually giving rise to the medieval feudal system. One of these customs was the gift of arms, which transformed into the ceremony of knighthood: "Tacitus, it will be remembered, describes the ancient German custom by which a youth was presented with a shield and a spear to mark his attainment of man's estate. What seems to the be same ceremony reappears under the Carolingians. In 791, we are told, Charlemagne caused Prince Louis to be girded with a sword in celebration of his adolescence; and forty-seven years later Louis in turn decorated his fifteen-year-old son Charles "with the arms of manhood, i.e., a sword." Here, obviously, we may see the origin of the later adoubement, which long remained a formal investiture with arms, or with some one of them as a symbol. Thus the Bayeux Tapestry represents the knighting of Earl Harold by William of Normandy under the legend: Hic Willelmus dedit Haroldo arma (Here William gave arms to Harold). [...] Scores of other examples are to be found in the French chronicles and chansons de geste, which, despite much variation of detail, agree on the essentials. And whatever the derivation of the words, the English expression "dubbing to knighthood" must have been closely related to the French adoubement" (pp 47-48.)
In its simplest form, according to Stephenson, the ceremony of knighthood included "at most the presentation of a sword, a few words of admonition, and the accolade." OK. So what does this have to do with Tolkien and his women? AHAHAHAHA I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. First of all, let's agree that Tolkien, a medievalist, undoubtedly was aware of all the above. Second, turn with me in your copy of The Lord of the Rings to chapter 6 of The Two Towers, "The King of the Golden Hall", when Theoden and his councillors agree that Eowyn should lead the people while the men are away at war. (This, of course, was something that medieval noblewomen regularly did: one small example is an 1178 letter from a Hospitaller knight serving in the Latin kingdom of Jerusalem which records that before marching out to the battle of Montgisard, "We put the defence of the Tower of David and the whole city in the hands of our women".) But in The Lord of the Rings, there's a little ceremony.
"'Let her be as lord to the Eorlingas, while we are gone.' 'It shall be so,' said Theoden. 'Let the heralds announce to the folk that the Lady Eowyn will lead them!' Then the king sat upon a seat before his doors and Eowyn knelt before him and received from him a sword and a fair corselet."
I YELLED when I realised what I was reading right there. You see, the king doesn't just have the heralds announce that Eowyn is in charge. He gives her weapons.
Theoden makes Eowyn a knight of the Riddermark.
Not only that, but I think this is a huge deal for several reasons. That is, Tolkien knew what he was doing here.
From my reading in medieval history, I'm aware of women choosing to fight and bear arms, as well as becoming military leaders while the men are away at some war or as prisoners. What I haven't seen is women actually receiving knighthood. Anyone could fight as a knight if they could afford the (very pricy) horse and armour, and anyone could lead a nation as long as they were accepted by the leaders. But you just don't see women getting knighted like this.
Tolkien therefore chose to write a medieval-coded society, Rohan, where women arguably had greater equality with men than they did in actual medieval societies.
I think that should tell us something about who Tolkien was as a person and how he viewed women - perhaps he didn't write them with equal parity to men (there are undeniably more prominent male characters in The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, at least, than female) but compared to the medieval societies that were his life's work, and arguably even compared to the society he lived in, he was remarkably egalitarian.
I think it should also tell us something about the craft of writing fantasy.
No, you don't have to include gut wrenching misogyny and violence against women in order to write "realistic" medieval-inspired fantasy.
Tolkien's fantasy worlds are DEEPLY informed by medieval history to an extent most laypeople will never fully appreciate. The attitudes, the language, the ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS use of medieval military tactics...heck, even just the way that people travel long distances on foot...all of it is brilliantly medieval.
The fact that Theoden bestows arms on Eowyn is just one tiny detail that is deeply rooted in medieval history. Even though he's giving those arms to a woman in a fantasy land full of elves and hobbits and wizards, it's still a wonderfully historically accurate detail.
Of course, I've ranted before about how misogyny and sexism wasn't actually as bad in medieval times as a lot of people today think. But from the way SOME fantasy authors talk, you'd think that historical accuracy will disappear in a puff of smoke if every woman in the dragon-infested fantasy land isn't being traumatised on the regular.
Tolkien did better. Be like Tolkien.
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jgracie · 2 months
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS! — PERCY + DAUGHTER OF ERIS
masterlist | rules
❝ Could you write headcanons for Percy Jackson x Daughter of Eris reader? ❞ — anon
in which percy dates a daughter of eris
pairing percy jackson x eris!reader
warnings percy gets hurt + in the infirmary for a bit
on the radio . . . crazy girls (toopoor)
an i can't remember if the stolls getting supplies thing is canon or something i read in a fanfic once and made canon in my head but if its the latter and ur the one who came up with it lmk so i can credit you!
Honestly, Percy was scared of you at first. He couldn’t help it, considering his first meeting with your mom was when she was competing with her siblings for darkest child. That did not leave a very good first impression
The rumours didn’t help either. All the other campers avoided you like the plague, not wanting to be anywhere near the child of discord out of fear
All except two: Connor and Travis Stoll, sons of Hermes. Your mom worked for their dad’s company, the Hermes Express, and while others cowered in fear at the chaos surrounding you, they admired it
After you helped them with their prank on the Aphrodite cabin, inspired by your mother’s golden apple, they decided to take you under their wing and hire you
You see, Connor and Travis were in charge of buying supplies from the outside world and bringing them into camp, since they’re two of the few demigods in camp who could drive. As the number of demigods increased, they realised they needed a third person to help them out, and who better than Eris’ daughter? 
Usually, you’d go in pairs for safety reasons. However, both Connor and Travis had gotten sick one day, leaving you alone
“What’re you guys doing? I’ve been waiting for you at Thalia’s tree for ages,” you said, huffing as you sat on the edge of one of the beds in the Hermes cabin, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over you as you looked around the cabin you called home for years until they built one for your mother.
Travis coughed, and that’s when you really took a good look at them. Both their noses were bright red and their eyes were watery, “sorry Y/N, we can’t go with you today,” he said before blowing his nose.
“Oh, okay, we can go some other day then, when you two are feeling better,” you smiled. As you were about to walk out, you heard Connor mumble a faint, “nooo,” stopping you in your tracks.
Turning around, you watched as he laboriously got out of bed and took slow strides towards you. Putting your hands in his, he said, “you have to go. You have to continue our legacy. Besides, Will says the medicine we need ran out. You need to save us before it's too late!”
You blinked, unsure if he was joking or not. To you, he just seemed to have the common cold, “you’re not dying, Connor,” you began, “but really, I can’t go alone, I’ve never done this on my own before!”
Suddenly, you heard the door of the cabin open, and in walked Percy Jackson. He was good friends with the Stolls, having spent a couple nights in the Hermes cabin himself, and wanted to check on them after hearing they were sick
“Perfect! Percy can go with you!” Connor said, and that was that.
The car ride was awkward, to say the least. There you were, daughter of strife herself, driving to a nearby general store with the great Percy Jackson in the passenger seat
You were already a pretty reckless driver to begin with, always going as fast as the speed limit would allow, but with him at your side, you were worse. The more nervous you got, the more rash you became. 
You couldn’t help it though, having always thought Percy was a little cute, keeping your distance simply because you knew you’d never get a chance with him. Unlike all the other people part of the Percy fanclub, you were realistic. Why would he go for you when he could easily have some charming daughter of Aphrodite?
Eventually, you got to the store, and the two of you got out of the car (much to Percy’s delight, he was fighting the urge to vomit but didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of a pretty girl)
As soon as you entered, you felt a feeling of dread wash over you. Percy turned to look at you, and you immediately knew it wasn’t just you. He was feeling it too
You pointed to the right, silently telling him that’s where you were going to patrol, and he headed for the left. The place was eerily empty and quiet, but everything seemed fine on your end. You were about to yell out Percy’s name, when you heard him scream in pain
You ran to where he was, ripping your bracelet off and preparing for combat. The bracelet, a gift from your mother, turned into a beautiful stygian iron spear
In front of you was a Chimera. As soon as it laid its eyes on you, it forgot all about Percy, deciding you were much worthier prey. That’s what you wanted
Although the Chimera’s poison was infecting Percy’s body, he couldn’t help but admire the way you effortlessly moved with your spear, giving the Chimera a run for its money. As the battle got more heated, you seemed to get stronger, the chaos of it all fueling you.
Swiftly, you killed the Chimera, not bothering to watch it disintegrate as you were too worried about Percy
The materials you went out to get were long forgotten and you drove as quickly as you possibly could, desperate to get back to camp before it was too late for him. You’d given Percy some of the ambrosia you kept in the car for emergencies, but he needed proper treatment
You burst into the infirmary and watched as everyone stopped what they were doing. Setting Percy down on a nearby cot, you quickly explained the situation to Will and left, not wanting to be around anymore
It didn’t take much for you to go back though, all you could think about was Percy. You had to check on him. Every day, when campers called it a night and headed for their cabins, you hid yourself in the shadows and made your way to the infirmary
This happened for three nights until Percy woke up on the fourth
“Hey,” you heard a faint voice say. Immediately, you yanked your hand away from Percy’s, your face heating up. He smiled at you, his sea-green eyes twinkling in the dark
“Thanks for saving me back there, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you,” he continued, “you looked really cool with that spear. I could never use Riptide like that,"
Much to your own surprise, you replied, “I could help you, if you want. Swords and spears aren’t too different.” 
Once Percy was deemed healthy, you began your training. At first, you’d just spar, the only words spoken between you being tips you’d give him, but soon enough, you started talking about other things
Percy realised people were wrong about you. Sure, your mother really scared him, but you weren’t her. You didn’t like chaos that caused others pain, you just liked to have a little fun from time-to-time, playing pranks and teasing others
He also realised he liked you. Really liked you. In the past, he would’ve taken his time with asking you out, replaying all the possible scenarios that could happen in his head, but after literally going through Tartarus and back, Percy couldn’t leave things unsaid anymore. So, he asked you out immediately
And that’s the story of how you two began dating
Percy is your #1 defender. He dismantles all the stereotypes people have spread about you and is willing to fight anyone who speaks a single word against you
He introduces you to his friends, and although they’re hesitant at first, they begin warming up to you and soon enough they become your friends too. Next thing you know, the rest of camp becomes accustomed to you as well
Percy couldn’t be happier! You’re the apple of his eye and he loved seeing you light up as you helped around the infirmary (Will had asked you to after realising as daughter of chaos, you could take it away, giving campers some peace of mind as they were being healed)
You two are SUCH a fun couple. You remind Percy of how much fun he used to have as a troublemaker before war stripped him of all enjoyment, so he starts helping you with the pranks you pull on people
He also continues to get supplies with you. The Stolls barely leave camp anymore because as soon as one of them offers to go with you, he’s silenced by the sound of Percy revving up the car
You also make out a lot and everywhere. Being Eris’ daughter, you can’t help but love the thrill of potentially getting caught, and Percy doesn’t mind because he gets to kiss you so it's a win-win situation
Being your boyfriend didn't exclude Percy from your tricks. You would play pranks on him too, though to a lesser degree than what you’d do to others
Your favourites are the subtle ones. Stuff like replacing his camp t-shirt with one a size too small and waiting for him to notice 
“Babe,” Percy said, entering your cabin. Putting your bookmark - a polaroid picture of you and him - in your book, you set it aside and couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Percy.
His hair, once black with a grey streak, was now bright blue. The streak stayed, but you didn’t mind, your job was done. “Do you like it?” You asked, grinning
Percy crossed his arms, holding back a chuckle as he stared at your smiling face. Walking over to your dresser, you opened a drawer and pulled out a small bottle which you threw at him
“This should get rid of it,” you told him. You’d never pull something like that without being sure it was reversible, you knew how it could affect a person’s self-esteem. Percy smiled at your thoughtfulness. He couldn’t believe you were his.
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luveline · 6 months
Note
hi jade! :) i wanted to potentially request anything with poly!marauders x reader? maybe winter themed since its december now?
you write remus, james, & sirius x reader so well that i started reading fanfic for them because of you! i love your style, keep it up lovely! <3 sending you all my love
thank you, ily!! ♡ fem!reader
James’ car idles outside of your work. 
You rush down the frosted steps despite the danger, and open the passenger door with a, “Hello,” that can't be dimmed. You could not be happier to see him in his dark-haired, light-eyed glory. Your hands shake at the sight of him alone. 
“Hello,” he says keenly. 
You climb across the handbrake to kiss him. He takes your face into two big hands, expectant, waiting for you and twice as eager. “Oh, shit, I missed you,” you say, smashed into his lips and leaning further still, “Did you have a good time? Did–” 
James rubs your cheek with his thumb, silently asking for you to slow down, and kisses you again. His lips are soft as anything, his hands a little less so, rough of his palms sliding up your cheeks to just behind your ears. He's quick and rather aggressive about it considering you're only a couple of yards from your place of work, but you don't care. 
Clearly, he missed you too. 
James breaks the kiss to hug you to him, nosing at the side of your head as he says, “I missed you too. And I had a great time. Next year, you'll come with me.” 
Your heart skips at the thought. Going home with James to visit his parents would be a dream, if only so you don't have to miss him for three weeks at a time. 
He gives you a last quick kiss and drives you home. With his suitcase still in the car and his rucksack in the footwell, you realise he's picked you up before going home, and you rub it in Sirius’ face as soon as you can. 
“He picked me,” you say, climbing out of the car, cheeks flush with the heat of having James’ hand on your thighs the entire way home. 
Sirius doesn't seem too bothered. Remus worms around him, doesn't even wait for James to get out of the car, ducking in for an awkwardly skewed but achingly affectionate hug. It's not like Remus to show his emotions in any way that could be held against him, but it's clear he trusts the three of you to never do such a thing. You wouldn't. 
“You okay?” James asks him quietly. You nearly miss it, apprehended and forced into a headlock by Sirius Black and his bad attitude. 
“No more holidays,” Remus says. 
“You look handsome anyways,” James says, “what's that about? Thriving in my absence or something?” 
Remus flushes at the suggestion —you can see it, having breathlessly escaped Sirius' cruel grasp to stand watching their reunion. He mumbles a denial and burrows deeper into James’ arms. 
Sirius is much less emotional than you or Remus, but he's in a good mood. You can tell, tucked under his happy touch. (You weren't rubbing it in that James picked you up first to be cruel, the opposite —you and Sirius love to argue. And the cool, mildly intimidating stare down thing he does gives you chills, so that's a bonus.) 
“Alright!” James says, hand on Remus’ shoulder, rucksack on his arm as he shuts and locks the driver's side door. “Let's see how you idiots have done with the decorations.” 
“Not nice,” you say. 
“But accurate,” Sirius says. 
The truth is that without James’ direction, the Christmas decorations have barely been put up. You had the common sense to erect the Christmas tree and it’s adorned with carefully draped tinsel and polished baubles, but the rest of the home is lacklustre, to say the least. You've no stockings for the electric fire, no banners, no foiled hangings or silver trappings. 
“Jesus,” James says, dropping his rucksack on the sofa. “This is sad. Where's the wooden bits? My white wooden Christmas tree? Absolutely minimal effort. I'm appalled.” 
You and Remus look at one another and shrug. “We searched. Pulled out the airing cupboard and everything, it took ages, and we still didn't find them.” 
“That's because it's up in the attic,” James says, chuckling to himself. “Idiots. Where's the stepladder?” 
And this is where Sirius’ love rears its head, his arms wrapped around James’ legs as he climbs the ladder positioned dangerously on the landing by the open stairwell. “You can't be real,” James says, swaying dangerously as he pokes around up there with a torch. “You're worried about me? You were on the roof of the shed a month ago—” 
“To get a fucking football for next door–” 
“Oh, fuck this,” James says with a sigh. Before any of you can stop him, he's leveraging himself into the attic using his upper body strength. 
You cross your arms over your chest with a smile. “That was fit.” 
“Right?” Remus murmurs. 
“Where's the fucking– Ah-hah! Alright, sweethearts, one of you come and grab this from me.” 
Sirius looks up at the creaking attic above, frowning, his eyes narrowed. “I don't trust the floor.” 
“Siri, just come and get them.” 
You build a procession line and slowly unearth the three boxes of Christmas decorations, and a box of festive linens. Sirius helps James safely down onto stable footing, while you and Remus ferry the decorations downstairs. James is the Christmas nut of the lot of you, but Remus likes what James likes, especially now he's been missing him, and so they set about decorating your home while you and Sirius argue over who's making what for dinner. James’ favourite, since he's been away so long, you argue. Pizza, Sirius decides. “Look at the state of him. You know he goes home and Euphemia spoils him half to death.” 
“Fully to death,” James says, dotting a kiss into your cheek as he passes with a sheet of snowflake window stickers. “But I was revived.” 
Sirius kisses your other cheek, and Remus shouts for you to come and see the lights, lovely!
It's nice to have everyone home. 
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cy-cyborg · 10 months
Text
Tips for Writing and Drawing Amputees: Bandaged Stumps
When writing and drawing amputee characters, unless your character only just lost their limb, they don't need to wear a bandage over their stumps.
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to be clear, eda's depiction in the show was fine, since she'd only just lost her arm and went (presumably) without any medical attention, but because the show didn't have much time to show her afterwards, I've noticed a tendency of the fandom to draw her wearing the bandage permanently, so that's why I'm picking on her for my example lol.
It's a bit of a trope at this point, and I think it comes from one of a few different places:
Amputees do wear bandages on their stumps, but usually only for the first 6-12 weeks post-amputation, sometimes longer if the amputation was a result of a burn. It's possible people saw this though and assumed it was permanent.
Most amputees wear a sock made of either cotton or silicone under their prosthetics to provide them with some extra padding. These socks, called liners, often stick out from the top of the prosthetic socket and could possibly be mistaken for a bandage from a distance.
Some amputees will wear compression garments for a few months to a few years after their amputations which could also be mistaken for a bandage from a distance. These garments are designed to stop swelling and reduce phantom pain, but they aren't bandages.
Stumps get cold easier because their circulation typically isn't as good as the rest of the body, so some amputees will wear socks over them even if they aren't wearing a prosthetic to keep warm, which again could be mistaken for a bandage from a distance.
This one is funny, but in my experience unfortunately, it's the most common: people think the end of an amputee's stump is just a perpetual open wound that never heals. Meaning to avoid "gore" it needs to be covered. I've met fully grown adults who believed this until I showed up to work/uni without my prosthetics or socks on.
People are uncomfortable with seeing an uncovered stump and so put bandages over it to avoid confronting their biases.
Some combination of these points.
But yeah, unless your amputee has only just lost their limb in the last few weeks, they don't need a bandage.
The ironic thing too, is that for most amputees, bandaging a stump is nearly impossible. I've been in and out of hospital since I was 1 year old and only ever met 3 nurses and no doctors/surgeons who could successfully bandage my stump in a way that the bandage would even stay on. This is because stumps are usually tapered in shape (meaning they are wider at the top, closer to the body, and thinner at the bottom), so gravity will pull the bandage off 9 times out of 10.
On a final note: it's ok to show your amputee's stump, it's not gore, there's no blood, it just looks like a regular limb that just stops early. In fact, if you are writing/creating anything for kids or that is likely to be seen by kids, I encourage you to show your amputee's stumps at least once. I used to work on a disability awareness program for kids, and I lost count of the amount of times kids were terrified of me, because they all expected my leg to be bloody and gory. For a lot of kids, I was their first real-life exposure to an amputee, meaning they'd never even heard of people like me, or they had seen an amputee on TV, but because the show went out of its way to avoid showing the person's stump, they assumed it must have been because there was "something scary at the end" that they weren't supposed to see (kids are surprisingly perceptive, they will pick up on stuff like that without you realising). And scared kids aren't good at articulating why they're scared, and would often say really mean or hurtful things to me. I knew not to take it personally and learned how to handle those situations, but not everyone is used to dealing with kids. For a new amputee (or anyone who's less confident in their disability), the kinds of things those kids would say could be absolutely confidence destroying. I never blame the kids, it's not their fault, but the whole situation could have been avoided if they had seen people like us before they had the chance to hear the wrong info. Good representation like this can be the difference between a kid crying, making throw-up sounds and calling an amputee "disgusting monsters" (all things I've had kids do/say) and them just being like "oh ok, cool."
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penguinbuttcheeks · 1 month
Text
Three's a Crowd - ghost x reader
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summary: you’re the latest addition to the 141. price and gaz have each other, ghost and soap vice versa. you start to realise that you’ll never be able to gain the attention of your comrades - let alone your lieutenant - the way you so desperately crave.
pairing: ghost x gn!reader
cw: angst, typical cod violence, character death, mw3 spoilers
word count: 2,318
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A/N: feeling angsty so have this :D (FURTHER PROOFREADING IS NEEDED !!! but im eepy and impatient its 2am)
also i genuinely can't live without music, so i always end up adding a song that kinda reminds me of my fic. its not something that needs to be listened to - simply any song i find that kinda suits the vibe of the story and also just sharing some good music for others to enjoy !! idk, just something i enjoy doing (im rambling)
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Being the latest addition to the TaskForce 141's ensemble had its downfalls.
While you were immensely grateful for the opportunity to have been recruited by John Price himself, there was still the lingering discomfort of trying to fit in with a new group.
It was childish really. Such a minuscule concern whilst in the midst of fighting a war.
It had been several months since you were enlisted, yet your relationship amongst the four members seemed to lag in comparison to the camaraderie they each shared between one another. Years of companionship amidst the terrors of combat had strengthened the bindings of their connections, forcing them to rely on one another when faced with life and death. It was something that you had yet to experience with them.
You know that these things take time - especially given that fact that it was so common to lose comrades in this field of work. Everyone was terrified of getting attached. 
Over the coming days, the five of you had been preparing for an upcoming mission. It was crucial that everything panned out perfectly. Price wasn't leaving any room for fault, not when the safety of thousands were at stake. thousands of civilian lives. Men, women and children.
While Price and Gaz - with the assistance of Farah - had set out to Urzikstan to lead an infiltration on a Konni base they believed Makarov was operating at, you were assigned to Verdansk with Soap and Ghost. 
The task; stop Konni from destroying the Gora dam.
The three of you were currently grouped at the meeting point, scoping the area before setting off to defuse the bombs scattered across the site. With the little numbers you had, you were going to have to rely on stealth. You hated stealth.
Stealth required trust. Trust in your comrades to complete their designated tasks without fault, trust in your comrades to stay alert. 
You had none. 
You were determined to change that succeeding this mission.
"Be advised, Konni personnel are grouping near multiple locations below you." Laswell's voice snaps you from your thoughts, her voice ringing through the comms. 
Ghost and Soap look up at where you were perched. You were their sniper for this mission. They were relying on you to keep them covered and you were not going to let them down.
You raise your hand in the air, giving them a thumbs up to alert you were ready and in position. The two men send a curt nod in return before setting off to track down and defuse the explosives.
With Laswell over-watching the operation, and you giving the duo support from a higher vantage point, the low numbers were of little concern. The four of you knew that you would be able to carry out the mission smoothly. Besides, 
Failure wasn't an option.
You watch as Ghost silently takes out several guards, advancing his way through the facility as he tries to locate the bombs.
"Bagged 'em" Laswell confirms another kill for Ghost.
“Two guards, on your three by the barrels” you alert Ghost, watching as he stealthily approaches the guards. “I’m lined up, I can get them in one”.
They’re on the ground before Ghost can even blink.
You grin as you peer through the scope of your sniper. This was going to be cake.
“Good to see you in one piece, Johnny” Ghost huffs, splayed on the floor of the heli alongside you and Soap.
“Haven’t felt better, LT.”
It was a scramble trying to meet with Nikolai and board the aircraft, lifting off amidst the enemy's gunfire. You ensured there were no men left standing by the time you all were long out of sight. 
Price would be pleased. 
“Yeah, I’m okay too. Thanks for asking” you huff out in annoyance, watching as Ghost lends Soap a hand, lifting him to his feet with a small grunt. 
You get up by yourself, a simple side glance sent your way from Ghost before both the men turn to Nikolai. At least Soap had the decency to return a relieved smile.
“Mission accomplished, Bravo. You three took down an army and saved lives tonight” Laswell congratulates through the comms, her usual monotonous voice doing little to praise the successful operation that the three of you had completed. “Makarov will not take this well.”
“He’s a big boy,” you respond with an amused grin. “He can handle it.”
“Don’t underestimate the rage of the Russian’s” Nikolai chuckles back in response, looking back at you momentarily to ensure all three of you weren’t seriously injured.
“Speakin’ from experience, Nikolai?” You smirk back, walking over towards the front of the heli where both Ghost and Soap stand, your sniper left discarded on the metal floor of the military carrier.
“Firsthand” Nikolai simply snorts back.
The rest of the ride back is silent, Ghost and Soap sat beside each other, a singular empty seat distancing their proximity. You? You sit across from them, alone on the empty bench. 
You don’t mean to let your guard down. You were simply exhausted and finally allowing yourself to stare aimlessly into space as the adrenaline in your system slowly drained from your veins.
“Don’t.”
The harsh voice has you crashing back to reality, eyes focusing in place to meet dark hazel ones, narrowed and directed at you. You hadn’t realised you were staring at Ghost while you silently decompressed. It was a rude startle from your meaningless thoughts.
“Sorry, I zoned out. My eyes were just comfortable” you respond awkwardly, adjusting your seating position and clearing your throat. “Didn’t realise I was staring”
Ghost simply glares back at you, his usual cold and emotionless stare making your hands clammy and stomach flutter. You quickly avert your gaze, turning your head away to stare at the metal tread plate flooring, instead focusing on the loud hum of the aircraft you were all seated in.
It suddenly grew too hot, too cramped in the helicopter. It was claustrophobic - suffocating almost.
You’re the first to scramble off the heli, exhaling in relief when you’re no longer boxed into the hunk of metal you had just spent the last hour travelling in. With your sniper draped loosely over your shoulder, you make your way inside the small safe house nestled on the outskirts of Verdansk. You don’t bother to wait for Soap and Ghost.
It’s late at night. Your body is near spent. Your only goal in mind was getting the heavy military gear off your body to finally allow yourself the comfort you crave. 
It’s a small shack, only the bare minimum provided. An old, tattered couch and rickety square dining table with four chairs on each side, each varying in design and wood finishes. They evidently didn’t come as a set. There is a small room off to the side, various camping cots packed and stacked against the furthest wall, at our disposal for when we choose to retire for the night.
Ghost, Soap and Nikolai soon enter after you, Nikolai retreating into the small room to set up the cots and get some much needed rest.
You keep to yourself while Soap settles on the small couch, Ghost taking a seat at the dining table to clean and check over his equipment. 
You hastily peel the stiff fabric from your body, vest and outerwear folded on the floor in the corner of the living room, your sniper. Resting atop of them. Your aching body can finally breathe now that the extra layers were finally discarded
“Ye did good today” Soap finally speaks up after a beat of tense silence. You turn to him in slight surprise, not expecting him to initiate any sort of conversation with you. “We’d have been fucked without ye” he continues, Scottish accent thick as ever.
You can’t help the small smile that creeps on to your face.
“You guys did the dirty work. I simply scoped the area from above” you assure modestly, not wanting to come across arrogant.
“Aye. Saved our asses several times. We owe you.”
Ghost simply scoffs quietly, standing to move outside where there would be less chatter. He was tired and didn’t want to indulge. 
Your smile is wiped from your lips, replaced by a slight frown at Ghost’s exit. It doesn’t go unnoticed by the Scot.
“He’s a crabbit old man. Pay him no mind” Soap assures you, voice low and seemingly unaffected by the Lieutenant’s departure. “The lad’s not one for meaningless blether.”
You nod, evidently disappointed
Soap observes you silently, taking in your defeated expression, a low hum of acknowledgment absentmindedly leaving his tight lips.
"Ye like the Lieutenant" he voices aloud. There was no room for argument in his statement.
Your head darts to Soap in stunned horror, mouth parted in shock. You're unable to respond, Soap speaking up before you're able to form your words.
"Keen een."
You immediately shut your mouth. There was no point in arguing. He knew.
Soap chuckles, a bitter and amused sound that leaves you feeling uneasy.
"Foolhardy choice"
You watch as Soap leaves to the makeshift bedroom, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone with your thoughts and anxieties. You don't get much sleep that night.
Returning to the 141 base was a relief in itself.
Touching down on British soil allowed you to finally relax. You were finally familiar with your surroundings once again.
You sigh happily upon entering your private quarters, throwing your bag carelessly to the ground. A shower was in order. You waste no time in stripping down bare to prepare yourself for the best shower of your life.
When you emerge from the shower, hair still damp and leaving small patches of dampness along the fabric of your fresh shirt you immediately make your way to the rec room. Some caffeine was in order if you were going to set your sleep schedule back to its usual.
You inhale sharply when you see Ghost sat alone, immediately on edge.
He turns his attention to you momentarily before wordlessly resuming back to the reports in his hands.
Message received.
You quietly walk over to the coffee machine, pulling out a mug as you put the kettle on.
You keep your eyes trained on anything but Ghost, not wanting to anger him again. You can't help but lose yourself in your thoughts once again as you wait for the water to finish boiling.
It wasn't anything more than a physical attraction that you had towards the aloof man. You didn't know the slightest thing about him. You did know however, that he was loyal. Just from your observations alone - it was obvious just how passionate he was about the 141. He would lay his life down without a second thought to ensure a mission was successful, to ensure his teammates were safe.
All of his teammates, save for you.
He was a machine during training, a monster on the field. Rippling muscle and deadly speed, accuracy that rivals even Captain Price himself.
So many times you've caught yourself staring, admiring from the peripherals of your vision with your lip caught between your teeth. You felt like a lovesick teen in high school. It was absolutely infuriating.
"It won't make itself"
You jolt in alarm, head whipping towards the voice. Ghost simply stares at you, eyebrow raised. His skull mask was replaced by his usual black balaclava he wore around base, the prominent shape of his brow bones underneath the knit fabric the only giveaway of his expression. His thick thighs are spread lazily in front of him, large feet planted on the floor as he leans back against the dark leather couch, papers still in hand.
You quickly tear your eyes away from him once again.
"I know." You internally grimace at your response. Stupid. So stupid.
Ghost chuckles, still eyeing you as you stare dumbly down at the now finished boiling kettle and empty mug.
"You're an open book" he speaks up, shaking his head slightly in disapproval, lowering his eyes back down to his reports. "You need to keep your head in the game, sergeant. This is a war, not a dating reality."
You glimpse over at him from the corner of your eye, fighting down the heat that tries to spread across your face.
"I'm well aware of that" you respond sternly, hastily making your coffee.
Fucking. Soap.
"Start acting like it, soldier"
You swiftly leave, coffee rushed and head lowered in shame. You didn't bother drinking the sloppy coffee, instead tipping it down the bathroom sink and watching as it swirls down the drain.
Makarov was defeated - the 141 finally accomplishing what they had chased like hell hounds for months - finally at its end.
Ghost stares down at your lifeless eyes.
What should have been Soap’s life was instead replaced with your own.
It was a selfless act of bravery.
No one was fast enough to respond. One minute you were here, yelling out to Soap in alarm, the next you were motionless. An instant death after Makarov lodged his final bullet in your skull.
Ghost knows that he should feel something - anything for the life lost. His teammate stolen from life too soon, but he can't find it in himself to care.
Price places a large hand on Ghost's shoulder, pulling him away from the scene.
The Taskforce retreats. They would send reinforcements to retrieve your body, to be able to send something back to your loved ones waiting anxiously on your return.
It was a shame really. The potential you had was evident, destined to continue fighting for your country alongside Ghost, Price and Gaz.
Ghost turns on his heel, following after his comrades and boarding the heli, your empty seat bringing a deep sense of impending doom, the reality finally setting in for the four men.
Ghost scoffs, shaking his head.
Three was always a crowd
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mountttmase · 13 days
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If I Lost You
Note - this fic was such a struggle for me but we’re here and we made it 😂 I know I haven’t uploaded in a really long time by my standards so I’d love to know what you guys think and also thank you to my besties for your help on this one, I couldn’t have done it without you 🩷
Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader
Word count - 7k
Warnings - angst and fluff
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There was nothing Mason hated more than traffic. Traffic coupled with a later than usual training session was even worse
He’d been sat pretty much stationary for around 20 minutes now, slowly moving every couple of minutes but he hadn’t made it far. Eventually turning his playlist over to the radio so he could listen out for traffic updates but the flashing blue lights up ahead let him know what was happening.
He was right in the thick of it, no option to turn around and go another way, but not close enough to the front to be able to get around it yet and when a few more police cars came up to join the scene he realised it must have been a bad crash.
So he did the only thing he could do and waited. His mind wandering off to far away places that he tried not to visit too often and once he realised he was starting to spiral he quickly switched the radio back over to his playlist so he could distract himself.
It was only around 15 minutes later he’s made it to the front of the line, watching the traffic warden wave a few cars forward at a time to drive into the oncoming lane to get round and soon enough it was his turn.
He knew he shouldn’t have, but there was something making him want to look at the scene as he drove by. Head turning to the left of him to see how bad it was and the sight before him shocked him to the core.
The car was on its side, bonet crushed from hitting a lamppost and he could tell the windows had been broken to get whoever was inside free but after a few seconds the realisation that something was wrong slapped him in the face.
He knew that car. It was yours.
It was the colour that alerted him first. That specific shade of light blue he’d only ever known you to have but as he looked closer he could tell it was the same make and model as yours too. The panic rising up his chest until he thought he might have been sick but the sound of beeping horns shocked him out of his trance.
He couldn’t sit and wait and let himself process anything, the traffic officer waving him forward but it was like he was having an out of body experience. He wanted to get out and find you, the urge to scream your name was on the tip of his tongue but he did as he was told and drove forward, leaving the scene of the crime behind him but he felt too weird to carry on too much longer and pulled into a side street so he could park up and sort himself out.
There wasn’t much he could do, you hadn’t spoken in months and the only other person the pair of you had in common would no doubt tear him a new one if he called asking after you and he also didn’t want to worry everyone if it was nothing. He still needed to do something though and In the end he decided to text you in hopes you’d get back to him soon and settle his mind. You always had your phone in your hand so he knew this was the easiest way to grab your attention and hopefully speak to you.
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The rest of the drive home, albeit short, was a nightmare. He couldn’t concentrate on anything and was constantly messing up but he made it back in one piece. Running inside so he could turn the news on immediately, hoping for any sign of what had happened whilst he sat and panicked. Not being able to think about anything other than knowing you were okay.
This was hell, and he hated it. But the way he was feeling for you right now was mostly his own doing.
You’d met Mason a few years ago at the after party for the final of their euros. Your best friend's brother was Rashy and she’d invited you along to watch the final, and although it had ended in heartbreak there was a certain brown eyed boy you and the rest of the world couldn't seem to tear their eyes away from.
You knew it was over for you when he came over to console Marcus, seeing how genuinely kind and concerned he was for his friend made your heart thump and when the pair of you were finally introduced you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered over you.
He couldn’t stick around too long, needing to get back to his family but you caught eyes a few times throughout the night and when you were at the bar alone he used that as his in to come and speak to you properly.
It was his smile that caught you first, but it was hard not to notice his big brown eyes and musical laugh. In the end standing and chatting until the night was pretty much over and you had to go your separate ways but he gave you his number and made you promise to message him as soon as possible.
You didn’t know what you were expecting from Mason, but what you got was a blossoming friendship and you were more than thankful he was in your life. With you living in Manchester and him in London it was hard to see each other, Mason constantly referring to you as pen pals but you took what you could with him. Going to watch him play at Wembley sometimes and seeing him in the summer or whenever he has some free time for a few days gave you something to look forward to and you loved getting to know him on a deeper level.
It was very much a will they won’t they type of relationship. As much as you adored Mason, you didn’t want things to change and you knew long distance would be hard until just over a year had passed and you decided to take the plunge. The pair of you in Greece with a big group of the other boys and their girlfriends and Mason confessed he hated the thought of maybe seeing you with someone else and was willing to put the work in for you if that’s what you wanted.
And you really did.
Being Mason's girlfriend was everything you thought it could be and more. He was still his cute charming self but you felt free being able to be with him in the way you’d secretly always wanted. Your first kiss being a little awkward but he kept you relaxed and let you go at your own pace. Kissing all over your face until you were ready to try again and now it seemed as if you couldn't get enough of him.
It did come with its own set of challenges though. Being away from each other a lot of the time took its toll and even though when you were together you always made it count, the goodbyes were getting harder and Mason couldn’t stand to see you cry everytime he had to leave again. Or your sad face on FaceTime when you spoke in the evenings when you were apart, wishing he could reach out and touch you but he was never able to give you the comfort he so desperately wanted to.
It was around March of 2023 when it all came crashing down. Mason had a lot on his plate with an injury that wouldn’t go away and Chelsea’s new owners not treating him the way he should have been. You could tell he was more down than usual and planned a trip to go stay with him for a week so he’d have someone to come home to and someone to cuddle after a long day but at first you felt like he didn’t want you there at all.
You still remember the night before he ended it all. It’s like he was back to your Mason for a bit as you made dinner and spoke on the sofa until the early hours until you went up to bed. It was like he held you extra tight that night and whilst you figured it was just because he’d missed you and he’d had a nice night you now wondered if there was more behind it. Maybe thinking he should hold you properly if it was the last time and then out of the blue, he turned your world upside down the next morning.
He tried to give you the usual spiel of it’s not you it’s me and you were about to cuss him out for being so ridiculous but one look at him and you could see how much he was struggling. Telling you he hated that he couldn’t give you what you needed at that it broke him seeing you so down when he already had so much on his plate. You knew he needed to lighten his load, you just hated that it was you that would be cut off.
You didn’t argue with him, it being clear that he couldn’t take it but you spent the rest of your day packing up your stuff into the early evening where he made you stay for one more night so you weren’t driving home in the dark.
You felt stupid, making sure he was okay even though you felt like you were dying inside but you loved Mason and even though this was hurting you more than you could possibly imagine, you kept on a brave face for him. Telling him you’d still be there if he needed you and not to hesitate calling if he needed someone to talk to.
Sleeping in the guest room that night hurt more than anything he’d said to you over the last 24 hours but you remember him coming into your room at around two am as your cries had kept him awake. Holding you and shushing you in hopes you’d get some sleep but it didn’t work and all you wanted was to go back in time and undo everything he’d said but you couldn’t. So you stayed awake and tried to remember what it felt like to hold him, what he smelt like and how his skin felt pressed up against yours.
‘Can we make a deal?’ He whispered all of a sudden and you nodded into his neck in hopes he’d feel it, knowing your voice wouldn’t hold up if you tried to speak. ‘I want you to live your life and forget about me, yeah? Like if you meet someone new I want you to go for it. But in five years time, if we’re both single, do you think we could try again?’
‘I’ll see’ you whispered, knowing he wasn’t happy with that answer by the way he kissed your hairline softly but he let it go. Knowing he didn’t have a leg to stand on after what he was putting you through.
You left the next morning early, him giving you an emotional goodbye on his doorstep but you were ready to go home and be on your own now. Mason asking if you could still be friends and if he could text you and you stupidly agreed before getting away as fast as you could but you only made it one street away before you had to stop for a big cry. Wanting to get it all out before you began your drive home and after 15 minutes you set off again. Your phone going off every so often but you ignored it until you were back in the comfort of your flat and when you saw they were all from Mason you felt sadder than you expected to.
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You were curious as to what he’d deleted but you didn’t have the energy to ask so you sent him a quick reply telling him you were fine and going to sleep before taking yourself straight to bed. Too tired to be upset or over think anything and when you woke up the next morning things still hurt but you’d resigned to your fate of being his friend again.
A friend.
So you spoke here and there for a while and even though you were broken it was a fairly easy split. You remained civil and on good terms and it broke you to see how unfairly he was being treated on the field and with his whole contract saga. He kept going though like the Mason you knew and loved but when the news hit he’d had surgery it felt like your world had tumbled upside down.
You felt useless, wanting to help him as much as you could but he was so far away and you’d already used up all your holiday so you did your usual and let him phone you when he needed a chat.
Not too long after his surgery everything seemed to fizzle out. Nothing happened as such but your texts and calls came few and far between until there was nothing and when the news broke he was moving to Manchester you felt too awkward to text him. Not wanting to give the wrong impression that you expected something from him now so you left it so he could come to you.
He never did though.
You weren’t sure why he didn’t, but Mason had his own reasons. Not wanting to drag you back into the mess of his life and the fact you’d stopped messaging him made him think you were done with him and he didn’t have the heart to face your rejection no matter how much you were on his mind.
So he moved to Manchester and didn’t reach out, even though he thought about it everyday, and tried to rebuild his life without you. He was doing well but you were always there in the back of his mind, even thinking he’d seen you a few times and his tummy jumped each time before he realised it wasn’t you. He’d wanted to message you more than anything but he didn’t have the guts, even though you’d both promised to stay friends the messages had become so few and far between and now there was nothing.
As soon as Mason was inside he ran to the living room to put the news on, pausing the TV as soon as it showed the aftermath of the accident so he could get a better look before playing again to where it was panning past what he thought was your car. He managed to stop it at a point to be able to examine it more carefully and he could feel the nerves rippling through him.
Same colour, same make and model, same sticker on the back window with where the car came from, different number plate…
Different number plate.
Mason let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t you. Someone was clearly hurt and that wasn’t good but he couldn’t deny he felt lighter at the fact it wasn’t you who was in harm's way. Falling back into the cushions of his sofa so he could take a few breaths to steady himself.
You were okay.
He felt a little silly now, panicking so much when you were clearly fine but as the minutes wore on he managed to talk himself back into a frazzled state.
He didn’t know what it was, not being able to settle and focus on anything but you. Now you were back on his mind, all he could see was your pretty eyes and perfect smile.
He knew nothing about you anymore. The only piece of information left being the address of your old flat and now he was getting to know the area he knew you weren’t too far away. But he didn’t know if you were there anymore and if he did turn up whatever the chances you would even want to see him?
What if you’d moved on? Surely Rashy would have told him but Mason couldn't stand the thought of turning up at your house and a random guy being there. No doubt he’d be taller than him and funnier and be able to make all the time in the world for you and the thought of seeing you with someone who’s everything Mason isn’t made him miserable.
It was like there was an itch in his brain that he couldn’t scratch, not able to settle as his mind came out with random questions to make him doubt what he already knew. He decided against messaging Rashy, presuming he wouldn’t have much of an idea either and he didn’t want to start worrying everyone unnecessarily if there really was nothing wrong.
Maybe he read it wrong and it was your number plate? Or maybe you’d changed your number plate and it was you all along? Why hadn’t you answered his texts yet either? Was there an innocent explanation or had he missed something and it really was you that was hurt?
The only thing he did know was that he couldn’t stay in and drive himself insane. Eventually coming to the conclusion that a run would clear his head so he quickly changed into some shorts and a hoodie before setting off. No particular place or destination in mind, just the need to let off some steam and clear his mind.
When the rain started to fall he cursed under his breath. Too far away from home to turn around and avoid it and also not done with his run as he was still feeling on edge so he grit his teeth and carried on. Weaving in and out of streets until he started to recognise where he was a bit more.
Maybe it was just a coincidence he ended up here, like in the back of his mind this is where he needed to end up to finally put his mind at rest but as he stopped to get his breath just outside of your building he only felt worse.
Your car which you always parked in the same spot was nowhere to be seen, and the flat he knew to be yours had all of the lights off but the curtains were open. Like you’d been out and not made it home yet to shut them and he felt sick to his stomach at the thought.
‘No no no no no’ he whispered under his breath, not understanding where your car was and it seemed like only the worst possible outcome was the right one.
He knew it was a bad decision to come here but he’d done it anyway and now his mind was spiralling more than he thought possible.
He thought about going home but the need to see that you were fine with his own two eyes outweighed everything else and before he knew it he was running up the path and standing outside your front door with his hand poised to knock.
What am I supposed to say? He thought. I thought you were dead so I came to check you were alright? No, he couldn’t but he knocked before he had a chance to think of anything else. Waiting anxiously as he heard a few noises from behind the door but if you were there then you were taking forever to answer.
As soon as you opened the door he felt his body flood with relief. Your hair was pointing up in all different directions and he could clearly see the pillow marks on your cheek. A shocked and confused expression painted your features as you realised who was standing in front of you but he just felt his heart swell before his face crumpled as he tried to hold the tears back.
‘Mase? Mase what’s wrong?’ You asked, reaching forward to touch him in some way but you second guessed yourself before you got there. Not knowing if he wanted you to touch him but he looked distraught so you pushed your thoughts to the side and pulled him into the doorway. ‘Mase, you’re soaked. Come inside, it’s okay’
‘I’m sorry’ he told you, his voice wobbling as you shut the door and the feeling of warmth engulfed him immediately. He felt self here.
This feels like home, he thought. The place was unchanged from when he was last here and he stood awkwardly in the hall as you shut the door before leading him into the living room just around the corner.
‘Sorry, you've caught me at a bit of a bad time’ you laughed as you tidied the blankets off of the sofa and reset the cushions so you both had a place to sit. Flustered that he’d turned up so randomly and in the back of your mind you wondered if it might have happened one day but you chalked it off as being a silly daydream in the end.
‘Danger nap?’ He asked and you felt your face flush at the way he’d caught on so quickly. ‘Don’t worry, I remember them well’
‘Well I’ve been having them a bit more frequently since I’ve got no one to tell me off anymore’ you joked but you saw his face drop ever so slightly. ‘Take a seat, you want a drink or anything?’
‘I’m fine, thanks’
‘You sure? I’ll get you a tea you look like you need warming up’ you told him softly before scurrying over to the kitchen and he felt his chest warm with how kind you were to him. Hearing the kettle flick down before you came back to close the curtains and then run over to the cupboard under the stairs. ‘Take your hoodie off Mase, you’ll catch a chill. I’ve got you a towel and I’ll turn the heating up’
‘Sorry, this is probably the last thing you needed tonight’ he sighed, grabbing the towel to run over his hair once he’d taken his hoodie off but the shoulders of his top were still wet and now he was sitting here waiting for you he felt silly.
‘No don’t worry about that, I know we haven’t spoken for a while but I always said I’m here if you need me’ you told him shyly. Sitting down next to him so you could place his tea on the table before sending him a reassuring smile
‘I know’ he huffed. ‘I just feel a bit dramatic now that’s all’ he told you, trying to laugh it off but you knew him and you knew something was on his mind.
‘What’s going on? Why are you here?’ You pushed gently, trying to get him to open up a little bit more and when his eyes fell to his lap you weren’t sure if he was about to tell you or not. Thankfully he did after a few moments but you weren’t prepared for the words that were about to tumble from his lips.
‘There’s um… well there’s been this big accident on the main road out of Manchester. It’s all over the news and I was stuck in traffic for like 45 minutes until I could get round it’ he told you but you were unsure as to why he was updating you on the traffic when you’d asked what he was so upset about.
‘Okay?’
‘The car that crashed… well I thought it was yours’ he told you, his voice wobbling at the end and you felt your heart shatter as you realised what was wrong now. ‘It’s the same colour and make and everything and I… well I was out of my mind worrying that… i don’t know that you were hurt or something-‘
‘Oh Mase’ you breathed, cutting him off as his voice got more and more emotional and all you wanted was to pull him into a hug but you weren’t sure if that was what he wanted. In the end you just reached for his hand and you were surprised at how tightly he gripped onto you.
‘Sorry I bet I sound insane’ he laughed, wiping his eyes with his free hand and you felt your heart break for him.
‘No no it’s okay’ you reassured him, placing your other around your already clasped ones. Hoping he’d keep on talking but you let him take his time as he was clearly overwhelmed and upset by everything that had happened tonight.
‘It was on the news and I saw it wasn’t your number plate so I thought you were fine but then i managed to talk myself out of thinking that and I tried to text you, but i didn’t hear anything back but I guess you were asleep’ he smiled, squeezing your hand gently and you smiled sadly back at him.
‘I never got a text from you, I don’t think I did anyway’ you told him. ‘I was only asleep for like ten minutes. I did see some texts but it was a number I didn’t recognise and I thought it was a scam thing so I didn’t bother looking properly cause the number wasn’t saved’
‘A scam?’
‘Yeah I keep getting those texts like Evri has your parcel but it’s damaged and the details are lost. Please send your address, bank details and blood type so we can attempt a redelivery’ you joked and you felt your tummy flip when he let out a little laugh.
‘No it’s my fault, my personal number got leaked a little while back and when I moved up here I thought it would be a good idea to get a new number. I texted most people but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me so I just kept your number in my contacts. I completely forgot you wouldn’t have it saved’
‘You know that makes a lot of sense actually’ you smiled, watching his eyebrows pinch together in confusion and you thought his expression was adorable. ‘I sort of texted you last week. You know, after your goal? I didn’t hear back from you’
‘Shit, I’m so sorry’ he sighed, his free hand dragging down his face and you could tell he was annoyed with himself as he rolled his eyes.
‘No it’s alright-‘
‘No cause you probably thought I was ignoring you and I wasn’t’ he told you, almost pleading with you to make you believe him but you already did and when you sent him a soft smile he let out a big sigh he’d been holding in. ‘Where’s your car? It's not parked out the front?’
‘Chrissy upstairs moved out and I was next on the list for a spot in the underground car park so I park it down there now’ you explained, releasing how shaken he must have been and still was to know you might have been hurt and when one of your hands let go to touch his shoulder, his eyes snapped up to yours. ‘Are you alright, mase?’
‘No’ he whispered quietly, his glossy eyes looking back down to his lap and as much as you wanted to push him you also didn’t want to scare him off so you sat waited for him to come clean and tell you what was going on in his head. ‘I know it’s stupid but like… I realised if I lost you then… well it felt like my world was ending in all honesty’ he confessed, laughing slightly but you could tell there was no humour in it l. ‘I know that’s dramatic but all I could think about was everything I’d never told you, all the things I’d never be able to say to you again, you know? Never be able to hold you or kiss you…’
‘Kiss me?’ You whispered. Unsure as to why he’d said that at the end as you’d been broken up for almost a year now but you couldn’t deny his confession made your heart jump. If truth be told it hurt more than you thought it would when he didn’t reply to you a week ago and seeing him so heartbroken on your doorsteps just now was a shock. But the words falling from his lips right now were even more of a shock.
‘Sorry’ he mumbled, his voice thick with tears as he shook his head but you didn’t want him to shut down on you now. You wanted him to keep talking, to see if he’d say the things you’d been waiting a year for him to admit so you carried on stroking his skin and letting him get himself together.
‘No no it’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it’ you laughed, looking up at him to thankfully looking back at you with a small smile on his face. ‘Now’s your chance Mase, what do you wanna tell me’ you whispered, wondering if he’d say anything at all but ever the unexpected he said the last thing you thought he would.
‘I love you’ he whispered instantly. The words sending a tingle down your spine and you almost lost your breath. ‘I’m still so fucking in love with you and the though of you not being around anymore hurt more than I could tell you. Not that I’ve tried, but I can’t love anyone else like I loved you. Like I still love you, y/n’
‘Mase-‘
‘I know it’s been a while and you won’t feel the same but-‘
‘Mase stop’ you whispered, your eyes stinging at the thought of what he might be doing but the sincerity in his eyes kept a spark of hope alive. ‘Are you sure? I think you’re in shock a bit, you may want this now but what about in a month's time? Or two? I can’t go through feeling like that again’
‘I’m sure, i promise’ he nodded, dropping his eyes to his lap before taking a deep breath and you knew he had more to say. ‘I know we said if we were both single in five years we’d come back to each other but that’s too far away for me and I don’t wanna give anyone else the opportunity to have you. People like us, we’re meant to meet in a few years time when we both know who we are and what we want for ourselves but I don’t wanna do that. I want us to work through it all and grow together, you know?’
‘Mase-’
‘I pushed you away when I should have held onto you tighter. I think about you… all the fucking time and I can’t be without you’ he sniffled. ‘I know it’s incredibly selfish of me but I don’t want you to be just a chapter in my life when you’re the whole damn book baby’
You couldn’t help but laugh at his last line, your chuckles seeming to break the tension a little bit as he smiled at you and you could feel your heart in your throat at all the sweet words he’d spilled to you tonight.
‘Sorry I know it’s a lot but I just needed you to know’
‘Well thank you, and you know I care about you so much Mase-‘
‘Oh’ he sighed, trying to remove his hand from yours as you hadn’t told you him loved him back and he felt a bit embarrassed but that wasn’t your intention.
‘No Mase, wait I just… look it’s a lot to think about’ you laughed, squeezing his hand tighter so he couldn’t move away. ‘Just give me some time to take it in, yeah?’
‘Sorry’
‘No please don’t be sorry’ you told him before a quietness settled over you for a moment. Not really sure what you were wanting to say and knowing Mason had said enough for a lifetime tonight so you went back to what you thought you did best. Looking after him. ‘Listen, have you eaten? I’ve got a pasta bake to put in the oven and you know I always cook for about five people’
‘I haven’t eaten’ he laughed ‘Too busy worrying that you'd been flattened’ he joked, rolling his eyes and you couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh at his attempt at humour.
‘Well let me make us something to eat, And we can hang out a bit and catch up, yeah?’ You asked hopefully and thankfully he nodded in agreement.
So you made the pair of you some dinner before getting settled on the sofa. Keeping the tv volume on minimum so you could talk and it was like having the Mason you fell for back with you. But your heart broke even further when he explained to you how hard the last year had been for him, from being sold to the constant injuries and feeling pretty lonely up here some nights when it was just him and his family and friends had to go home.
Soon enough your plates had been discarded to the coffee table as it was your turn to open up. Not that you had as much to say but he was interested all the same in hearing about your life and getting up to date with all the people you used to talk about together. Updating him on your job and all the changes that had been made before he commented on how even with all the changes your flat was still the same and it made him feel happy.
‘Hey Mase?’ You asked quietly when you saw him try to suppress a yawn and you knew he’d realised you’d seen when the bridge of his nose turned red like you used to love.
‘Yeah?’
‘Do you wanna stay here tonight?’ You asked, his eyebrows shooting up in shock as he clearly hadn’t expected you to ask anything like that but now you had him back here you didn’t want to let him go.
‘W-what?’ He mumbled, scratching the back of his head like he did whenever he got nervous but you send him a reassuring smile in hopes that would help.
‘I mean you don’t have to, but it’s late now and I won’t be having you walking home or paying for an Uber. Unless you want me to drive you home-‘
‘No you can’t drive me, I don’t want you driving back on your own’ he argued back but you were both smiling so you let out a little laugh before being a bit firmer with him.
‘So you’ll stay then? And I’ll drop you home on my way to work?’
‘I think that could work’ he nodded but you knew he was shy about it even though he had no need to be.
‘Okay perfect’
‘Do you still keep that blanket in the cupboard?’ He asked and you felt a wave of disappointment flood you.
‘Oh I um…’ you trailed off, realising he’d got the wrong end of the stick and you knew you needed to set him straight no matter how awkward it might get.
‘What’s up?’
‘Well I thought you might want to sleep in my bed? You know like… with me?’ You explained, his face a mask of shock as the words left your lips but you knew you needed to put the idea out there.
‘Oh’
‘Sorry I’m being silly’
‘No I want to, I just didn’t wanna push it you know? I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted’
‘I do’ you smiled. Holding your hand out for him to take and you felt your heart give a squeeze and he gently took it in his. ‘And I think it might be what you need’
‘I think so too,’ he laughed. A shy look on his face as you walked him through and into your bedroom and once you were inside you sent him a reassuring smile. ‘Get in, I’m just gonna use the bathroom and I’ll be with you’
You left him to sort himself out, quickly applying your skincare and trying to keep calm before returning to your room. Seeing Mason was already in bed and that he was still in his T-shirt but he’d stripped down to his boxers on the bottom half and you caught a cheeky flash of his thighs as you lifted the covers up.
You knew what you wanted, and what he probably wanted too so when you got yourself under the covers you turned away from him as you shuffled up close. Your back against his chest before taking his arm so you could wrap it around your body and you could tell from how stiff he was that he wasn’t expecting it but it only took a second for him to settle down and nuzzle into your neck.
‘I don’t think I need to wait until the morning’ you suddenly heard him whisper after a few moments and you felt your heart begin to pound. ‘I never ended things with you because I didn’t like you or I didn’t see us going anywhere. It was more that I didn't like myself. You’ve been the right person for me this whole time and I knew it long before we were friends, like it had always been my plan to make you mine and then when I finally got you I let you go’
‘Well you know what they say, Mase’ you whispered, holding him to you tighter and you felt him lightly kiss your shoulder. ‘If you love something you should set it free. And if it’s yours it’ll come back’
‘Will you come back to me then?’ He asked, his voice sounding more vulnerable than he intended it to. ‘Cause I’ll always come back to you’
‘I think we can work something out’ you whispered and you felt him stiffen before moving back so he could roll you over to face him. His eyes wide and glossy as he looked at you and you could tell you’d taken him by surprise.
‘Really? You’d wanna try again?’ He asked. Lip wobbling and it all became too much for him so you reached out to stroke his cheek and catch a few of the stray tears.
‘It just wasn’t our time back then, Mase. I get that now and yeah it sucked but if it’s really what you want then it’s what I’ve wanted since things ended’ you told him softly. Kissing the end of his nose as he shut his eyes softly. ‘I’ve been yours from the second you looked at me’
‘I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want this, or if you were seeing someone else’
‘Well lucky for you, you don’t have to worry about any of that’ you told him and you didn’t miss the look of relief on his face. ‘Things will be easier now we're closer okay? We can see each other more and all the things that drove us apart won’t be a problem’
‘You really think it’ll be that simple?’ He whispered, the hope in his eyes made you want to reassure him even further.
‘I think so, yeah. You said earlier you still loved me right?’
‘I did’ he laughed, not meeting your eyes as he blushed and you thought he was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen.
‘I still love you too’ you whispered, so quietly you thought he might now have heard you but from his reaction you knew he did. Letting out a shuddery breath before he hid his face. Giving you room to kiss all over his cheek until he had the courage to look at you again. ‘Shall we go to sleep?’ You offered, noticing how exhausted he was after a long evening and once he’d nodded you turned back onto your side and let him hold you close. Smiling at the way he was kissing your shoulder softly and nuzzled into your neck.
‘Hey Mase? Can I ask you something before we go to sleep?’
‘Anything’ he whispered, and the sound of his voice made your heart jump. Knowing he really would answer absolutely answer anything you asked him and this was something that had been plaguing your mind for a year.
‘That day I left to come home and you texted me the whole way, what did the message say that you deleted?’
You felt him let out a small chuckle, squeezing you a little before huffing and you knew it was something he probably never wanted to admit. You didn’t want to push him if that was the case but after a moment you felt his lips on your shoulder again as he began to speak.
‘It said, I think I’ve made a mistake. Can you come back and we’ll talk’ he told you quietly and you felt your heart pound at his confession. ‘I gave it ten minutes and said to myself if you hadn’t replied in that time then it wasn’t meant to be’
‘Mase’ you whispered, your eyes full of tears as a wave of regret from not checking your phone washed over you but he was quick to reassure you everything was fine.
‘It's okay, I’m glad you missed it’ he laughed. ‘It would have only made things worse probably. I needed that time to go through whatever was going on and realise how much I actually need you. Cause I really do’
‘I’m here’ you mumbled, turning you head to look at him and his whole face lit up as he looked down at you.
‘So am I. And I’m never going anywhere again okay?’
‘Me too’ you told him firmly before he finally lent down and placed the softest kiss to your lips. A feeling you’d waited almost a year for and when he pulled back to look at you, you almost felt disappointed but you could tell he was greedy for seconds. Diving right back in but with a bit more force this time and you let him do as he wished thankful the universe had brought him back to you.
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bowieandqueen11 · 6 months
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Preening Peacocks / Sanji Imagine
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Request: could you write a sanji x reader fic of zeff sitting the two of them down and basically saying that if they don't stop making heart eyes at each other he's going to have to separate them because it's getting in the way of work. cue them both promising to act more professional only to end up making out after the kitchen is closed. reader tries to protest because they should be going to bed but ends up giving in when sanji kisses her along the neck.
Ooooh this is both sweet and spicy, the perfect combination! ;)
Warning: slightly NSFW so 18+ please, a little strong language!
(I do not own One Piece or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @leonerdnimoy.)
☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°
How Zeff hadn't lost his mind over the last ten years, he would never know.
He knew, of course. That you had a shared history - a shared past, a shared ordeal that he couldn't even begin to understand. Neither of you chose to talk about it much, the shared glances you shot each other as you shrugged off your past and chose, fought, clawed for tooth and nail, to create a new life for yourself out here in the Sambas Region was something he respected. Admired, even. The two of you shared a past, true, but starting over was a commonality the former Cook Pirate could stoutly understand.
He knows that he should go easier on the pair of you, too. He knew what he had signed up for, when he met you both storming onto the Orbit all those years ago; when he had saved your shivering, despondent lives up on that desolate crag. The two of you had always been close: inseparable, even, from huddling together day in and day out on that rock, to sharing a room and cooking side by side on the Baratie. He knew the two of you, in some ways, better than he knew himself: recognised the signs of yearning, of perpetual adoration from day one. And yet he still found himself two teaspoon clatters away from yanking the hair off of his face when yet another customer comes strutting up to him, demanding compensation for an abysmal lack of service.
'Get your arses in here- now!'
It took you a few seconds to register the voice thundering out from the impact door, too busy trying to fan your face with one of the carded menus you were trying to stack away; Sanji, on the other hand, heard Zeff just fine. He was too preoccupied, absentmindedly placing a few empty champagne flutes onto his tray, while stealing glances in your direction. If his eyelids fluttered any harder, the candlesticks on table twelve would go out in a blazing blast.
Zeff jabbed his thumb in Sanji's direction and then back towards the inside of the kitchen, anger creasing the already wrinkled lines of his forehead like mettled waves in a storm. Realising he couldn't ignore the old sod's words any longer, Sanji sauntered up behind you and pressed his chest against your back. 'I think he's talking to us, sweetheart', he breathed against the shell of your ear, sending goose bumps shooting down your neck as his slender fingers reached round to fall delicately over your own. With a nudge of his nose against the back of your head, he intertwined your fingers and led you towards the back of the room. His free arm settled comfortably around your waist, his eyes staying so squarely on your gaze that he almost tripped over the poor old couple from table two, who were staggering up to collect their coats.
Zeff's groan could be heard out on the ships docked in the Baratie's port, even through the slatted fingers that were covering his drooping face.
As soon as the two of you had plonked down on a couple of seats near the kitchen's 'office' table, Zeff pounced on the two of you like a ravished vulture.
'Look', he stamped over, one hand on the side of his hip and the other still holding the spoon he had been whisking up a fresh batch of meringue with. 'I don't care what the two of you get up to during your free time. In fact, if it's anything worse than what you've already been spotted doing on the floor, I don't want to know.' Sanji guffawed, settling his thighs down further into his seat.
'But the two of you are starting to cause trouble for the business', Zeff continued with a earnest glare in Sanji's direction, his words aimed directly at the sous chef. 'For my business.'
'Our business', Sanji retorted, chewing the inside of his cheek and pointing with a circling finger between the three of you.
'In my restaurant.' Zeff leant forward, his nostrils flaring in a manner that you know meant trouble, but to your surprise Sanji dropped the issue; he grinded his teeth, but chose instead to grip onto your hand underneath the table and hold it against his knee. He knew what he owed Zeff. If not for saving his own life, than, more importantly, for saving yours.
'Even our patrons are starting to relay back to me that you, little donkey-', he jabbed the whipped edge of his wooden spoon straight towards your chest, 'and you, little eggplant-', the spoon gets whisked with a firm buttered splat against Sanji's cheek, 'are flaunting around each other, front of house no less, like two preening peacocks!'
Sanji tilted his head in your direction, doing his best to not further anger the already irate chef by pretending he is not very subtly dropping his eyeline down past the bridge of your nose and landing on your cupid's bow.
The side of your irises met his, and he goes breathless.
To no one's surprise, the flirtation doesn't go over Zeff's head, no matter how hard he's rubbing it. With his pointer and middle finger rubbing his temples and half-covering the rimosed dark-circles under his eyes, Sanji took the opportunity to lean over the arm of your chair and leave a sweet kiss against your cheek with puckered lips. You could feel his smile as he pulled away, and in retaliation you pulled your intertwined fingers up to your lips and peppered a few kisses against his knuckles, clasping it against your chin in a tight lock.
He takes it as a challenge: who can shower the other in more affection, and the soft brushes of his nose against the tip of your own is only interrupted by the slam of Zeff's spoon planking down on the table.
'I've had to deal with this for near twenty years now, and I swear-'
'We're not even twenty, Zeff', you chimed in, attention still fully centred on the dazed look clouding Sanji's lovestruck face as he hovered in front of you, nearly out of his chair by the point and falling onto your lap.
'Yeah, stop being dramatic old man.'
Sanji's words are chiding, but the way he watched you - god, the way he always watches you, the way he spends his whole life helplessly contemplating you is so soft. So serene. So overwhelming. Even though his eyes have lidded, falling down to peer almost lasciviously at the seam of your mouth, his distracted eyes are still so filled with wonder. Whether he had been five years old, locked up inside his father's dank, damp old dungeon, wasting away in the corner as the whole of his kingdom celebrated his death. When you had come, slamming the lock open with a stone you had spent a full half an hour tugging out of the circular cobbled wall, he had clambered into your lap and shoved his face straight into your neck. He had refused to move, only interrupting his desperate sniffles by alternating clenching his tiny fists into your shirt, and tilting his head to the side so he could look up at the side of your face with a childlike bewilderment. That first streak of light brightening in his enamoured eyes.
Whether he had been nine years old, laying his head on your lap and waiting anxiously for the sun to bleach his bones up on that rock, he had still looked at you wonder. Had looked up at you as if you reflected all the pockets of starlight in the universe and stored them in his eyes, and he had been ready there and then to decay, as long as he could be weaved within your atoms for all eternity.
Whether he had been nineteen, sitting next to you at the Baratie's kitchen table with all the cosmos now in his eyes, and so, so deliriously in love with you.
'I mean it,' Zeff huffed, head seesawing between the two of you (which wasn't too far, since your faces were resting roughly one inch apart.). 'One more googly eyes look at each other, and you're both scrubbing barnacles off the dock for the next month.'
'That's alright with me old man, as long as we can share a plank seat.' Sanji winked teasingly in your direction, and you're not sure whose face turns more rubescent: your flushing cheeks, or Zeff's ruddy ears as steam starts pouring out of them in rolls.
'Table seven's still waiting for their appetisers. Go. Now. While the two of you are still teetering on my more charitable side.'
~
The rest of the service goes past in a flash. The sound of your chopping from the far corner of the kitchen is met only with the sound of Sanji's intent whisking from the other, and the occasional 'oi, stop that', from Zeff when he comes marching through and spots you and Sanji eyeing each other up over your respective bowls.
Sanji had to stop looking over at you. If you met his earnest side-eye one more time before you got off for the night, trying to look away from how furiously Zeff's moustache was swinging with each steaming word he muttered out during the rest of the service, you were going to collapse onto the kitchen floor in a fit of giggles.
Evidently, Sanji seemed to be having a similar thought, albeit with one exception: he was making it his life's mission to try and get you to break. That mischievous spirit - that light heartedness and ability to face trouble head on and grin in it's face was exactly the thing that had saved him all those years ago in the Germa Kingdom, back when he was a child. It was one of the things, still, from a list that could reach the bottom of the ocean floor and continue down to the core of the world, that he found endearing about you.
He wanted to hear the sound of your laughter for the rest of his life, for it was the most blissful sound in the world to his eager heart.
He made it his mission to try and distract you: with a flick of his tongue wetting his bottom lip, pretending it was a subconscious action, he let his biceps strain through his dress shirt with the force of his chopping. By the sound of his breathy moans every time he lifted up his sautéing pan to his nose to smell the fresh sprigs of rosemary intermingle with the diced potatoes, you could tell he was toying for your attention.
With the last few orders starting to roll in from the dispersing crowd of diners, Sanji braved out across the kitchen to 'accidentally' bump into you at the sinks. As his hip snapped against yours, he leaned his elbow up on the counter and turned his body fully towards you, until the the front of his apron was shoved up against your belly button and he could go no further. Leaning over you, he pressed the jut of his chin into the top of your head and looked towards the door to make sure the coast was clear.
'You know, sweetheart, if he heard the name you were calling me up in our room last night I swear we could make his stupid moustache fly clean off.'
The corners of your eyes were still tearing up by the time you made it back to your chopping station; the other chefs side-eyed you with merry-meant distaste each time your knife slipped over the outer peel of your garlic as your stomach doubled over in laughter.
You might have made it - you really might have, if you hadn't been able to hear the sweet little huffs emitting from Sanji's side of the kitchen at the same time. Sanji bit his bottom lip and ducked his head back down towards his trout, focusing on his skilful descaling to try and hide his laughter.
The next time he waltzes by with a white chocolate panna cotta, he grazes his hip and elbow in a way that was both a little too tantalisingly close to your side, and creates the perfect opportunity for you to latch onto his elbow and pull him down behind the counter.
'Why are we crouching sweetheart?' He was desperately trying to stifle his smile by catching his teeth against the side of his bottom lip, but he couldn't help the way the corners twitched up at the sight of how flustered you were.
'Because if Zeff catches us again, he'll feed us to the fishes Sanji!'
'Well, it's a good thing that was my last dessert for the night, isn't it my cherie? Because I'm also on clean up duty, and I've just signed you up for it as well.'
Before you could stop him, Sanji has jumped up and is already waltzing back out into the middle of the kitchen.
'Oi, Patty! What do you think you're doing! Y/n and I are on clean up duty tonight, you know - on account of-'
'The two of you being insufferable. Yeah, what's new.' The poor cook just shakes his head and turns his attention back to scouring the grease out of his saucepan.
'Come on', Sanji holds out his arms wide', 'don't you want to help true love's wings blossom? Or at least get some well deserved sleep - tell me the truth, when was the last time you worked less than double shifts. Zeff's wringing you out to dry, and you know it.'
'I don't think so, kid.' Patty's shoulders droop, but he thumps the last few suds out of his pan and hangs it back up on its hook. 'Chef's already warned us about you two, and he's not adding my head to the pile.'
'I don't get it', pipes up the latest addition to the Baratie chef team - a straggler pirate, who had tried his luck sneaking out the door without paying his bill, and had soon found his face sliding across the tile when Zeff's wooden leg had knocked him flying. He shakes out his hands and dries them off with a tea towel, before snorting and rubbing his nose with the linen. 'Why doesn't the guy just split these idiots up?'
'Because the last time he tried it, troublemaker here spilled a fresh pot of béarnaise sauce all over his apron and half of the floor.' Patty's tone is austere, but even as he wipes off the last bits of water from the steel edges of his counter's sink, he can't help but let a fond smile escape across his face. 'Before Zeff could even finish kicking him out, he was already through the door. Poor Chef nearly threw a fit when he went out twenty minutes later to find him, and he was sitting coddling on Y/n's lap behind the bar.'
'Yeah yeah yeah', Sanji laughs, sauntering over to the light switches behind the apron rack and knocking them off with an ostentatious throw of his arm. 'Goodnight, everyone!'
Patty sighs, but obliges. 'If Chef catches you, you're on your own', the man threatens with raised eyebrows as he walks out of the door Sanji props open with the toe of his shoe, but your boyfriend just shrugs light-heartedly.
'Subtle, by the way.'
Sanji pats the man's shoulder and grins. 'I can't help it if three's a crowd now, can I?'
As soon as the door sweeps to a close, your boyfriend's almost flown across the room to spin you around in his arms, your toes barely gracing the floor as he flings you about.
'Finally! Alone at last my love! Do you understand-', he interrupts himself with a kissing peck against your lips, 'how hard-, and another, 'it is to not kiss you every second of service?? I swear, it's torture!' From anyone else the sentiment may have sounded churlishly facetious, but from Sanji the words were so sincere that it almost made your heart melt into a pool of butter by his feet.
'Sanji, we really should get to bed. If Zeff catches us, we're going to be sent out on restroom attendant duty again', you groan, doing your best but hardly succeeding in trying to unlatch Sanji's ravishing hands from off your sides. Instead, his arms wrap tightly around your spine and his palms flatten against your back as he holds you against his thuddering heart.
'My precious life, from what I can remember, you got us back onto the main floor pretty quickly.' His lips land heavily on the top of your head, and you can't help the coarse shockwave of pleasure that floods through your body at the feel. Languidly, he allows his lips to slip down your forehead, softly tilting your head back so he can sweetly lick a wet trail down the side of your cheek.
'That's because Zeff got tired of arguing with me', you huff out, but you don't complain when you feel Sanji's hands roam down to cup the joints between your upper thighs and buttocks. With a hoarse pant against the side of your chin, his fingers dig into the meat and pull your legs up to his waist. You oblige, and allow him to pick you up and delicately place you back down on the sink counter.
'See, no problem!', his lips twitch as he walks between your opening legs, settling himself firmly against your groin as you wrap your ankles in a cross behind his legs. You nip playfully at his earlobe, and he swears he's about to pass out.
With short, panted breaths, he manages to finish his thought. 'Besides, that's why he calls you little donkey, isn't it? Because you always kick back.' His lips ghost a chuckle over the pulse point throbbing on your neck, and you have to do your best to clench your thighs together to stop yourself from whimpering.
'Is this alright, sweetheart?', he asks breathlessly, swiping the flat tip of his tongue out against a sensitive spot, one he knows lies right above your collar bone.
'God- yes', you reply, gripping some curls by the nape of his neck and tugging. 'I've been waiting to do this all bloody day.' He whines, his lips reverberating the sound so its muffled against the side of your neck.
That won't do. That won't do at all. You want to hear all the pretty sounds Sanji can make. Want to make him feel as loved: as wanted, as revered as he's made you feel your whole life.
In reprisal, you snake your hand down, making sure to capture his whimpers with your open, awaiting mouth as your fingers scratch over the taut muscles of his abdomen. When you finally reach down to cup the growing pressure straining against his trousers, he bucks forward against you and nearly knocks your teeth out.
His whimpers are drowned out by muttered, fervent, worried apologies, but you only giggle and silence him with a supplicating kiss.
'But we really should stop and go to bed, Sanj. We make enough trouble around here as it is.' You say the words, but you don't really mean them. Not when you can feel the tip of his finger run slowly... slowly... god! So agonisingly slowly up your inner thigh as he folds the bend of your ear over with a crushing kiss, his lips falling open clumsily as his inner mouth drags plumply across your temple, before running down to suck at your neck.
'Stop? I can barely stop thinking about you, every waking and sleeping second of my day. But if you want to stop, I will my sweet. I'd do anything in the world for you.'
You cup his face with your hands, and with a smile bring him down so you can rest the side of your cheek against his own burning one. He can feel his chest flittering at the feel of your stretching smile burning against his skin: at the feel of your legs tightening their vice around his thighs until he had stumbled forward, body fully resting atop your own now.
'Don't you dare stop now', you giggle. 'I kind of want to see Zeff's mustache fly off, now that I think about it.'
The sound of your and Sanji's roaring laughter is interrupted by the crash of the swing door against the wall, and the looming shadow of the Head Chef trembling up the rocking ceiling.
'Right, forget scraping barnacles. The two of you are going to be swimming with them in a minute!'
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harvatat · 3 months
Text
blanket burrito || jing yuan
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according to jing yuan and the xianzhou luofu, its citizens rarely got sick, the only sickness available to them being mara, which was a fate worse than death for those afflicted with it and for their families, who could be infected. however, even such long-living beings could be afflicted with something minor- the common cold.
and currently, the general of the xianzhou luofu was burrowing into his blanket, sniffling angrily as you tried not to laugh.
"stop laughing," jing yuan whined as you cleared your throat and sniffed, your phone in hand recording the gold-and-pearl-white-adorned general hiding in his quilts. "[name]!" you laugh loudly as you see a crown of messy white hair pop out from underneath the quilt, following by sneezing and some whining.
"aww, poor baby," you coo, and though you know how much he dislikes you cooing at him, he's silently more relieved to feel your touch, and he leans into your palm, nudging it like the stray cats on the luofu he'd occasionally sneak away to feed, and peppering kisses slowly until he tires, which is pretty quickly.
"you should rest," you start as you push him over onto his back and tuck him in gently, kissing his cheek. "c'mon, qin. nice and easy, there. it's just a cold, you'll be fine, i promise."
"i hate it," jing yuan mumbles tiredly as he yawns. "how do you even manage this?"
"rest, far, far away from any yukongs." you smile as he huffs with a grin, turning around to sleep. "sleep well, love."
when jing yuan wakes up, thirsty and sweaty and with a weird need to pee, he doesn't quite understand why he feels so trapped. the world around him is dark and warm, but comfortable, and as his eyes adjust to the scene around him, he realises what you have done to him, and he doesn't know whether to feel betrayed or comforted in the fact that you rolled him into a damn burrito.
"ah! the dozing general is awake!" you laugh as you help him out of the burrito, and all he can do is sigh with relief as you push his sweaty bangs out of his face as he remembered why exactly he woke up.
"i need to pee."
"AND YOU WERE JUST STANDING HERE THE WHOLE TIME??!!?!?"
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idk why i wrote this. ldkghfjdk he is so daddy and baby and dilf at the same time ong i will post the most horrendous downbad smut of this man one day-
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lady-rose-moon · 6 months
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I would love to see how you write Loki X shy reader. Like she’s obviously so into him and he just loves to watch her get all flustered
Meet me in the elevator || Avenger!Loki x Reader ||
↣ MASTERLIST
𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓒𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 3.7k
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Since moving into Avengers Tower last year after being rescued from HYDRA, you’ve developed close friendships with the main Avengers, loving to spend most of your time around Wanda or Natasha. They all knew that you didn’t handle well in public settings, talking with new people - hell, it was difficult to just talk to them sometimes, never mind people you’d never met before. 
You were settled into a room on the twenty-fifth floor, alongside Thor. It stayed that way for a while before Thor returned from Asgard one day with Loki on his arm. For Loki’s credit, he looked as pleased to be there as the Avengers were to see him there. You, on the other hand, stayed very quiet through the argument that came next, taking moments to just admire the new addition with curiosity. Something inside you told you that you weren’t supposed to be intimidated by the highly intimidating God before you. 
“But shouldn’t he be sent to S.H.I.E.L.D? Or- maybe whoever we are supposed to send him to should he return,” Steve was asking, your mind bringing you unwillingly back to the present, your eyes straying away from the man who appeared to be the person at fault for New York 2012. 
“If he is handed over to them, they will waste no time in attempting to experiment on him and his power,” Thor answered, his eyes serious and focused on not just Steve but everyone in the room, “Father has ordered his imprisonment here within the tower where we will keep him subdued. Should you turn him away, I am to find alternative lodgings.” 
The Avengers took a moment, unspoken arguments crossing around the room before Tony relented, hanging his head and uttering the damning words, “fine, give him the room next to yours, Thor.” 
Your admiration stopped within a millisecond. The room next to Thor’s was exactly opposite yours! Slowly, you slid down the sofa until you were fully laid down and silently groaned to yourself. Of course, you’re shacked with a Thunder God and his Godly terrorist brother.  
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Following Loki’s sudden appearance within the tower, you spent more time avoiding the 25th floor. You avoided it as if it were the plague, going so far as to fall asleep in the common room of the tower just so that you wouldn’t be on the same floor as Loki.  
The God didn’t look happy when Thor forced him down to meals every day, claiming that getting Loki into such a routine would be good for his mental health and would help his ‘healing’. You watched every day as Loki sat opposite you, emerald eyes downcast and his posture closed off, unwanting of any attention. Perhaps, you thought, he was like you these days? 
You didn’t stick around long enough to actually find out if your theory was correct, however, as once you were done eating, you excused yourself and quickly fled to the library on the 16th floor. 
The library was your safe space away from the ruckus of the Avengers and their mission discussions, the quiet of the library calmed a part of you that you never realised needed to be calmed. Since you had woken up in your cell within the HYDRA base with no memory of your life before, your social skills had been severely affected, only opening up after weeks of people trying to get you to open up. 
Finding the library after being rescued by the Avengers shortly after the Sokovia incident was a breath of fresh air. From the moment you stepped into the two-floor library, Friday had made sure to play classic music as soon as you entered, easing the stress within you as you scoured the shelves. Since then, you have been happy to visit the library to escape the Avengers and lately; Loki. 
The sun shone through the floor-length windows as it reached its peak for the day, the warmth enveloping you as you happily walked through the multiple shelves, your fingers absently brushing against the spines. Perhaps I should try to bring someone here, you thought, recalling speaking with Wanda about the library and smiling at the fascination on her face at the prospect of advancing her magic through books Thor had brought from Asgard. 
~~ 
The silence reigned in the tower during meal times for weeks after Loki’s arrival, it was a statement that everybody was uncomfortable with the God being around. Loki, for the most part, seemed as if he didn’t give a shit about their opinions about him. You’d begun to differentiate his movements from the others, seeing how he got up to get his Asgardian tea prepared exactly three minutes after Banner had poured his coffee and walked away. How Loki would reach for a sandwich shortly after Barton had grabbed six of them, handing three to Natasha to prevent poisoning. How, even though he looked unbothered, there was that subtle glint of loneliness. 
~~ 
It had been weeks since your magic had surfaced, weeks since you’d been able to delve into somebody’s mind. Wanda had taught all of the Avengers how to block themselves mentally against your powers so that not only you could have a better night's sleep but so they could as well.  
However, you did not expect to fall into Loki’s dreams.  
One moment you were in your own dreams, the next you were standing in a golden throne room. You hid behind a pillar to avoid being discovered, fearing that you’d been snatched by someone. 
“What do you want?” there was a voice ahead of you, your view obstructed by the pillar you were hiding behind but when you peeked past it, you saw Frigga, Thor’s mother and therefore Loki’s too. She had a soft frown on her lips, her head tilted slightly as she approached her son, her hand reaching up to caress the terrorist’s cheek. 
Your heart stuttered in shock at the discovery. You hadn’t imagined Loki would allow someone close to him but then again, she was his mother, it made sense in a way. 
“I…” Loki began and your heart stuttered again but it wasn’t shock, it was a feeling you’d never felt before. You’d never heard his voice before other than the scary videos you were shown when you joined the Avengers, discovering their past. He sounded British, yet he was Norse along with Thor, then again, Thor had a sort of Australian accent when you focused enough. 
“I want my brother back,” Loki admitted, his head hung, vulnerability radiating off his body language as he admitted the weakness to his mother. You watched as Frigga’s face swiftly changed into an understanding smile before pulling him in for a hug. Still, Loki continued, his voice coated with grief, “I’m alone there, Mother, I do not want to be alone.” 
“It was better than the punishment Odin had planned for you, Loki,” Frigga whispered, her eyes shining with tears, “infinitely so.” 
You took in a sharp breath and that was all it took for Loki’s sharp eyes to meet yours and the room disappeared, replaced with a bedroom that looked almost identical to yours in Avengers Tower.  
“What are you doing here?” Loki snapped, his eyes hardened and his guard back up. He studied every fraction of your face, looking for the malice he knew you’d have, looking for the blackmail to begin, looking for the taunting. Yet, he found nothing. 
Since his arrival, he had taken note of your presence, never once considering you’d be anything like the Witch or Vision. Yet here you stood, in his dreams. Loki grimaced as you stayed silent, his head tilting ever so slightly, mimicking Frigga’s previous actions. “Answer me,” he snapped after a few moments, annoyed by your ignorance. 
You trembled as you stared up into Loki’s eyes, your nerves taking control of your body and preventing you from speaking up. Your eyes scanned his face, taking in the wet tear tracks that slid down his face, shining in the light that was coming in from the open curtains. Then your eyes fell to Loki’s decorated tunic, noting the hints of gold woven into the threads and the green accents everywhere.  
“You’re staring, pet,” Loki purred, stepping closer to you, intrigue apparent in his features. He’d never seen someone take this much interest in his appearance before. Sure, he’d had wenches back in Asgard to quench his need but never had they admired him the way this girl was doing. It stirred something in Loki, a challenge.  
You stammered, attempting to find a way to plead your case before realising it was futile. You wouldn’t be able to find any way to explain this, not with your tongue being tied and your fears rising. So, instead of speaking, you snapped away from his dreams and sat upright in bed. 
Brushing a hand through your hair, you took a deep breath before retreating into your bathroom. Since it was the early hours of the morning, you’d abuse the silence of the tower and roam how you wanted. 
As you left the room, you were unaware of the emerald green eyes following you from the doorway of the room opposite your own.  
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You seemed to run into Loki a lot more after accidentally stumbling into his dreams a month ago. Whenever you’d step into the library, your eyes would be drawn to the floor-length windows where Loki was lying on the sofa with a book in hand, lazily turning pages. He gave you no mind, he didn’t even acknowledge you were there yet you still felt his eyes on you constantly. 
He was in the gym when you were trying to get some training done. Dressed in just a simple tunic and pants, going up against Steve, he looked the epitome of the female gaze. His hair was pulled back in a bun and his tunic was slightly wet with sweat. You huffed, trying your best not to get distracted by the alluring God fighting against the supersoldier but damn you couldn’t help getting a few glances at that ass. Definitely Asgard’s ass, you thought to yourself with an amused grin.  
“Y/N!” Steve called from the ring, running over to the edge as you turned to stare at him, your eyes wandering over his shoulder to meet Loki’s heated gaze and your body warmed, alight with need and interest but physically unable to say anything. 
“Yeah Steve?” you spoke up quickly, your eyes quickly shifting to meet Steve’s again. 
“Spar with Loki, I need a break,” the soldier spoke. He said it so casually, as if he wasn’t condemning you to at least fifteen minutes of torture in the ring with the object of your desires. Then again, Steve seemed to be oblivious to all the sexual tension happening within the Avengers. He didn’t even know about Wanda and Vision until he saw them kissing in the breakfast room! 
You sighed and nodded, getting into the ring and facing Loki. The God’s lips quirked up into a half-smirk as he took you in, his eyes hungrily roving over your body. The tank top you wore barely hid the sports bra below it, your leggings clinging to your legs sparking an interest deep in his abdomen. You drove him mad. You hadn’t visited his dreams since that night but damn, you haunted them still! 
“Are you ready, darling?” Loki purred, his voice sinking deep into your bones as he flexed his muscles, grinning to himself when he watched your eyes wander down his form, “you’re staring, Y/N.” 
Your body jerked up straight, freezing with nerves as you were caught in the act before you shook your head and got into position. 
Sparring with Loki brought out that inner calm that you didn’t know you had. Your mind was always whirring with ‘what if’ scenarios, pulling you under the waves if you allowed yourself to think about it for too long. Inside the ring, mirroring Loki’s movements, keeping eye contact and ignoring the hammering of your heart, you felt more like yourself than you had for years.  
When Loki grabbed you and pushed you to the floor, arousal streaked through your body as you were held firmly beneath him, his emerald eyes searing into your own, your heart racing and your mind racing a mile a minute trying to find a way that this can be explained platonically. He was just fighting you, he didn’t want a real reaction, totally not!  
Loki, for the most part, kept his attraction to you a secret but as you became a true competitor for him in the ring, he licked his lips at the challenge and eagerly fought back. When he pinned you to the mat, he saw the spark of arousal in your eyes and his grin morphed into a smirk. “TKO, darling,” he whispered seductively, watching your eyes flutter before you seemed to come back to yourself, bring yourself to your feet and scurry away. 
From behind him, Loki heard a groan and he chuckled to himself. “Is there a problem, Agent Romanoff?” he asked with a pleased hint to his voice, rolling his head and groaning at the satisfying cracks that could be heard. 
“Whatever you’re doing to her, Loki, I suggest you stop,” Romanoff warned, her eyes aflame as she stared at the God of Mischief, “she’s a good asset.” 
Innocently, Loki flashed a smirk at Romanoff before striding out of the training room, his bag and towel following after him surrounded by a green glow. 
~~ 
After  that, no matter where you were; somehow Loki was too! 
Even if you’d checked that he was in his room before heading out anywhere, he just appeared and soured your day. Well – not really, but you acted like it did. In the library, the gym, the kitchens or even out in the city as you got very stir crazy. 
Now, you're back in your quarters and you get your first real chance to relax for a moment with Loki constantly following you around. After a rough day, your mind is going a mile a minute as you go through all the different ways he's interacted with you lately. Sure, he could just be friendly and interested in getting to know someone new, but the way he looked at you... the way his eyes locked onto yours... was there something more? You refused to believe it. Loki, the God of Mischief, could never be attracted to you. 
Now that you had a moment to think, your stomach growled and you sighed at the realisation that you'd need to step out of your room yet again to get food. You could order but the temptation to get pizza or McDonald's would be too strong. Clicking the lock of your door, you stepped out into the dark hallway and made haste to the kitchens three floors below. Only when the elevator doors dinged open, you were greeted with the heated green gaze of the one God you did not want to see right now. 
"Loki," you whispered in shock before calming your racing heart and stepping into the elevator, pressing the 16th floor button, "how convenient that you are here." 
He flashes that grin at you that always seems to make your heart skip a beat. Loki casually leans against the opposite wall of the elevator and gazes at you with those enchanting emerald eyes. "Hardly, I just needed food. I suspect you did too?" he asks with that slight smirk.  
"That's a very nice outfit you're wearing, darling," he adds. His smile shifts slightly at your blush, that blush that is totally just a natural response and not from him teasing you at all. 
You stammered as the elevator descended. Those three floors feeling as if they take an eternity to get past in order to get to the common area. It wasn't really a nice outfit you were wearing, in all honesty. Just simple green joggers and a black shirt. Something you'd simply thrown on to venture downstairs. You weren't aware that you were wearing Loki's favourite colours, didn't know that you were blatantly displaying your affections for him through your clothing.  
"Thank you," you murmured so you didn't seem rude, hugging your arms before you gazed up at him and the red that tinted your cheeks deepened when you saw that Loki had not once looked away from you, even if you'd turned your head to the ground. 
He stares at you, trying to hide a grin at your evident embarrassment. He likes seeing you blush, and your shy nature certainly makes it easy to do so. Loki decides that he will have a little fun with this. "Tell me, darling," he asks. "Do you happen to like the colour green?" he asks, keeping that smile on his face, just waiting to see your reaction. 
Oblivious to the double meaning to his words, you eagerly nodded and grabbed at your joggers, proudly displaying them to the God of Mischief.  
"Yeah," you gushed, a goofy grin on your lips that pulled at Loki's heart, your eyes full of innocent pride, "always has been a favourite, always will be." 
He raises an eyebrow at you, his smile growing slightly with that innocent pride you have for what you're wearing. Loki decides to play along with your innocence and go to the next step. 
 "Why, darling," he says, his voice full of mock surprise. "You're not trying to signal that you like me, are you?" 
Heat once again rushed to your cheeks at the suggestion. Why would he ask that? Where had that ever been a signal that you liked him? Unless... no- it couldn't be. You remembered a conversation from months ago, Thor had suggested that women who wore red would always be seen as representing him in a way with their colour. Did Loki hold that belief too? 
Loki watches the way you react with great interest, and is amused by that adorable blush of yours. 
"Oh, darling," he replies. "I simply love a woman who knows how to show off their affection for a man. It's the ultimate form of respect." 
His expression shifts slightly, and he takes a small step closer to you. "What, does this little outfit you're wearing mean that you think of me so much that you don't mind the chance that others might see as you trying to court me?" he asks in a playful tone. 
"I- I- I didn't mean to-" you stammered; your cheeks flushed bright red by now yet again - though you supposed they'd never stopped being so since entering the elevator-. Your pride for your outfit faded, replaced by nervousness and a little bit of arousal for the God before you. His gaze seared into your soul, laid you bare before him, helpless to even process the fact that the elevator had long since stopped, the emergency stop button being pressed by Loki minutes ago. 
"You didn't mean to?" the God asks, feigning innocence despite knowing exactly the effect he's having on you. He takes another small step closer, still keeping that charming grin on his face as he looks at you with those enchanting eyes.  
 His hand comes up to your throat, and he leans in closer, whispering in your ear. "Maybe you should come back to my room, darling," he says in a soft voice, as if that suggestion is the most natural thing in the world. 
Your eyes widened in shock, your body trembling as if processed his request. He said it so naturally! How could he say that so casually?! So many questions raced through your mind as you stared up at him, your lip trembling as you struggled to find words to portray the whirlwind in your mind. Suddenly you realised you were trapped in this elevator with Loki for who knows how long, and you were ultimately playing a game of cat and mouse with the God of Mischief.  
"I don't- I can't- we- we're partners, Loki, what will the others think?" you whispered, trying to hard to shy away from the handsome God before you. 
He grins at you, amused at the sudden confusion you're feeling. He leans in even closer, his warm breath on your ear as he slowly leaned in closer to you. "Who cares what the others think?" he whispers. "They don't matter. Only we matter here. Don't you want me, darling?" he asks, his voice husky and full of the most hypnotic desire.  
 Loki's breath catches in his throat as he looks at you, lost in your beauty. "Give in... we have both waited too long, have we not?" he whispers. 
Biting your lip, you tried one last time to shy away from his affections but your movement was prevented by a large hand encompassing your throat and pulling you closer to him and soft lips were pressed to your own. Shock rippled through your body as you took in this sudden action before your mind became quiet and you melted into the kiss. 
He holds you close, a passionate grip with one of his arms wrapped around you so that you can feel the warmth of his body and his muscles as your lips mingle with his. 
As he pulls back from the kiss, Loki is visibly panting. "I can feel your heartbeat, darling," he whispers. "You like my presence all the more." You can't deny it. Loki seems to make your heart jump even more now. 
"I have wanted..." you hesitated, shame filling your body at the realisation that Loki had at least been interested in you for a while and you'd be avoiding him. "Since you came here, I have been intrigued by you then... one day... it was feelings and then... I tried to hide it," you whispered with a soft laugh, shaking your head and avoiding his gaze. 
Loki wraps you in a warm embrace, running his hands over your hair. "Darling, you're so adorable. Why ever would you try and hide this from me?" he asks, looking directly into your eyes. "Let me show you just how interested I am in you." 
 Loki's eyes shift to something you hadn't expected: hunger. His eyes were always beautiful, but now they were filled with raw desire. And it was focused entirely on you. 
Food forgotten, you pressed the button for your floor and wrapped your arms around Loki's neck, awaiting the arrival of your floor four floors above you. 
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@lokisgoodgirl @lokisninerealms @slpnbty2001 @jennyggggrrr @hahaha12123445 @ozymdias @holdmytesseract @itsybitchylittlewitchy @lovingchoices14 @xorpsbane @huntress-artemiss @muddyorbs @nerdy-fangirl-65 @lonadane @silverfire475 @chantsdemarins @iamsherlocked1479 @kittiowolf210 @just-someone11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @loki-laufeyson-1054 @fictive-sl0th @coldnique @anukulee @eleniblue @asgards-princess-of-mischief
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thelov3lybookworm · 4 months
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Hey, will you write a cassian x reader fic inspired by the song Creepin by Metro Boomin & the Weeknd?
My fault.
Summary: They never liked her. Thought he was too good for her. She did not realised the lengths they would go to hurt her.
•○●⛦●○•
Tw: self loathing, cheating, asshole inner circle, reader does not think herself worthy of love. that's all, me thinks, but if there's more, lemme know.
A/n: thank you for the request anon! i enjoyed writing it so much 🥹 so sorry for the long wait my love❣️
(the inner circle is kind of a bitch in this, not Nesta though. she is an angel. reader has no freakin backbone, so dont read if its no your cup of tea)
with that out of the way, i might do a part two if everyone wants it. I have it all planned out 😏
anyways, enjoy!
(heheh @artists-ally and @aroseinvelaris i hope this makes you cry. the snippets were just the snacks. this is the meal)
•○🌑○•
Y/n stared at her best friend of centuries, numbness spreading through her chest the longer she thought about the information she had just received.
"Y/n? Please say something." Nina begged, her eyes shining with tears, pleading.
"What is there left to say?" Y/n mumbled, taking a deep breath as she turned her gaze towards the empty cup that sat in front of her, picking at her cuticles. "Are you... are you sure it was him?"
Y/n knew it hurt Nina to be the bearer of the bad news, and she felt bad for asking her more about it. But she needed to know. "Yes. I don't think many Illyrians walk around with seven glowing rocks on their body."
Y/n nodded absently.
They sat a few moments in silence, letting the scrape and clinks of the cutlery fill the space between them.
It was supposed to be a girl's day today, and it had been fun, until Nina had gotten that sad, guilty look on her face as the two of them sat sipping on tea at a small cafe in the heart of Velaris.
Y/n almost regretted asking her friend what the matter was. Almost.
When the quiet became unbearable, Y/n stood with a deep sigh, grabbing her purse from the table in between them. Nina followed. "Y/n?"
"I think it's getting late. We should go home. He will be returning soon."
Y/n could see Nina's heart breaking for her friend, but she did not want anyone's sympathy.
"You are going to go back? To that house? To him?"
Y/n released a frustrated breath as the two of them left the cafe, spilling out into the packed street. "What else am I supposed to do? Run away?"
"Yes! He does not deserve you. Please tell me you will leave?"
Y/n looked away from Nina. "You know me, Nina. I have never been one to just up and leave."
It was almost common knowledge at this point. Everyone who knew Y/n, knew she would rather stay in a relationship in which she was the only one making an effort than leave. And she knew she probably was weak for not standing up for herself, the couple of relationships she's been in before showing that, but she simply could not bring herself to forget the teachings of her long dead mother-
That it was a female's job to keep her partner satisfied, and if he sought out other women, then it was the female's fault that she could not satisfy his needs.
Y/n did not think she would ever be able to stop being that timid, shy female who would just cry in the safety of the darkness in her room when someone hurt her.
She hated herself for it.
Nina was the only one who understood Y/n's reasoning and did not give her shit for it. She was the only one who tried to gently guide Y/n to stand up for herself. She never judged Y/n for crying.
"I..." Nina took a deep breath before nodding, rubbing Y/n's back. "I hope you someday find it in yourself to leave him before he..."
Nina did not say it, but Y/n heard it nonetheless.
Before he left her, disposed in favour of someone better. Someone more beautiful, someone more confident and loveable.
Y/n nodded, blinking back tears as she moved to hug her friend, who was more of a sister than anything at this point.
"Thank you." Y/n murmured into Nina's shoulder, her voice breaking. She felt Nina nod against her, giving her a rueful smile after they pulled away.
"Take care, Y/n."
Y/n nodded, turning away. "You too."
•○🌑○•
Y/n searched his face for something, anything, to show her that what Nina had told her was just a lie. That maybe she was mistaken.
Y/n came up lacking.
Now that she thought about it, the signs were always there. She was just too busy pretending that everything was fine. That Cassian was not like her previous lovers. That he would not throw her to the side, out of his life, for someone else.
That he loved her.
She now saw how foolish she'd been. Every male put on this land by the mother was the same. They only wanted females who were confident, who knew how to give them what they wanted.
She remembered how he had become recently. Yelling and picking fights over the smallest things.
The first time it happened, he was deep in his work, and Y/n had dropped something, making a loud sound and startling the both of them. Usually, Cassian would have given her a small smile and just gone back to work. But not that day.
That day he had glared at her, which was almost worse than the words that he mumbled next.
"When will you stop being clumsy?"
He had spoken under his breath, but Y/n had still heard. She stiffened.
"What?"
He sighed, his frustration evident. "When will you stop being clumsy?"
His voice was loud, almost booming, echoing in the painful silence after. Tears filled Y/n's eyes as she stared at him.
"Great. Now you are crying." He leaned back, dragging his palms down his face. Y/n ducked her head.
"I'm sorry." With that, she had shuffled out of his office, hoping she had not angered him too much and that he would forgive her.
Y/n watched, as Cassian threw back his head and laughed at something his family said, his hand on his abdomen.
She knew he had recently begun pulling away, knew he felt trapped by her.
And so she had let him do what he wished, made herself smaller to make space for his happiness.
Maybe that's where she had gone wrong.
She could tell he felt freer in this moment. Could tell by the sparkle in his eyes and by the constant smile and joy on his face.
She watched through the window as his body shook with the bouts of laughter his family pulled from him. She stood outside of the small gates that guarded the River estate of the high lord and blinked away her tears.
She had not seen him this happy in months now, and she had to fight off the jealousy that simmered in her gut. After all, she had no right to feel that way after she was the one who suppressed his happiness.
Y/n took a breath, releasing it in a sigh as she made up her mind. She needed to talk to Cassian, and then she would go back home, to the place she and Cassian had shared. To the place that he stopped living in in the past months, only visiting for the sake of it.
Walking up to the door of the home was quicker than she expected, and suddenly she was staring at the fine wood and considering bolting.
Her hand raised itself before she could do anything else, knocking, and she cursed lowly when the sound of footsteps approached.
The door opened to reveal a beautiful female staring at Y/n with a small smile. She had gorgeous blue-grey eyes, her hair that was wrapped around her head in a crown shining under the faelights.
"Yes? How can I help you?"
Y/n blinked, swallowing, wondering if she looked as miserable as she felt.
"I- is Cassian here?"
The female's brows furrowed. "Yes. Who are you?"
Y/n's eyes travelled to behind the female, where now stood a wide eyed Cassian and a furious looking High Lord. "I..."
Cassian sighed, taking a step forward, making the beautiful female glance back at them. "She's my-"
"She's no one, Nesta." Everyone's eyes snapped to the high lord. Hate spread through Y/n, but she tamped it down when Cassian simply continued staring at his brother instead of defending his wife.
A sudden rush of tears prickled at Y/n's eyes, but she swallowed hard. "Yes. I'm no one."
Cassian met her eyes, his gaze pained. Y/n had the vague feeling of being watched, but she ignored it, directly addressing her husband.
"Can I have a word? In private?"
The high lord opened his mouth, to reject no doubt, but Cassian beat him to it. "Yes."
Y/n sighed, and when she inhaled, Cassian's scent mixed with a soft, feminine filled her lungs . Y/n's wide eyes swung to a confused looking Nesta before glancing at Cassian disbelievingly, and she could see guilt overtaking Cassian's features.
She blinked, letting the tears fill her eyes as she gave him a pained expression.
"Thank you." Y/n mumbled, her tone defeated. Before the high lord could interrupt, she turned away, making her way towards the garden in front of the house, knowing Cassian followed.
When she was sure that no one could eavesdrop on them unless they really wanted to, she turned to her husband.
The two of them just stared at each other, the air around them charged.
Y/n decided to try and break a tense silence. "Hi."
His brows furrowed. "Hi..."
She smiled uncertainly at him as she contemplated her next words. "I... how are you?"
He blinked. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
She shrugged, the words flying out of her mouth before she could stop them. "Just feels like I haven't seen you in a long time. I've been worried."
His features softened, his eyes studying her. "I'm sorry. I have been... busy."
She nodded. "I can tell."
Despite her efforts to not let her sadness show, she knew he could tell.
"I- I can explain-"
Y/n shook her head. "There is no need to. I understand."
He blinked again. "What? You... what?"
She gave him a look. "I understand why you did it. I mean... it's not like it hasn't happened before with my previous lovers. I get it."
His mouth opened and closed like a fish, and Y/n continued.
"Look, it's... okay. I won't stop you from it. Just... I don't want to know. If you are playing me, please... keep it low. My heart can't take it anymore. Just don't let me find out. Keep it to yourself." Her voice wavered as she spoke the words that were swirling through her mind since Nina told her about what she'd seen. "Please don't throw me away."
Guilt and shock spread though his face, as if he's just made a realisation and hated it. "Y/n I am so sorry-"
His voice broke, and Y/n immediately began searching for ways to ask for forgiveness and make him happy.
"Don't apologise, my love. I know your family hates me, and I probably deserve it. I... you definitely deserve better. I know you do. And I understand." She took a deep breath, knowing she was rambling but she could not stop. "I- I am so sorry I could not give you what you want, but please, Cassian, don't-"
Cassian grabbed her face, pulling her into his chest. Y/n stilled, trying to take in a full breath as tears started escaping her eyes as she gasped and clenched her eyes shut.
"Y/n-"
But a sharp gasp cut him off, and Y/n pulled away from Cassian, finding Nesta and Rhysand staring at them. Y/n took a few steps back, not wanting to ruin whatever was giving Cassian the happiness she couldn't.
But Nesta glared at Cassian, and then Rhys. With a start, Y/n realised the high lord was staring at her.
And he had tears in his eyes.
"You were trying to get me to accept the bond with a married male?"
Everything slowed down, and Y/n stared in horror at Rhysand.
"Mates?" She whispered.
Nest looked over, making to step close. "Please forgive me. I did not know that brute was married. I would never have done what I did otherwise."
Y/n shook her head, wondering if there was a way to respond to that.
She settled on the only thing that made sense to her.
"Good night."
She turned towards the gates, and, for the first time since she had met Cassian, ignored the calls of her name by her husband, his brother and his mate as she sprinted away.
•○🌑○•
General Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392
Cassian taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter
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