#i never really felt it necessary cause i went to so much sunday school. so much sunday school

[vulpinesaint]

do you have a favorite bible translation

gonna be so real with you i stopped believing in god when i was fifteen and i was never an avid bible reader (it was boring and i did not do well with being bored. hated sitting through church services) so if i read a bible passage at ALL that was a fair miracle much less comparing translations. that said the bible version that REALLY lives with me is this one that they gave us in our confirmation classes lmao

#i was still very much religious just. hated reading the bible. cannot emphasize how bad i was at the boring parts #Because I Was A Child. is the thing haha. #would do much better with it now #i never really felt it necessary cause i went to so much sunday school. so much sunday school #so i was hearing the stories that way :) #bible education through hour-long sessions that let me skip part of church haha #ask

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Chapter LXXXI: Human After All

My week was spent with Tigershark after she came home Sunday night. I wanted to say that nothing went wrong during that week, other than the difficulties that came with communicating with 10 and 11-year-old children. As in, what I was supposed to be counted as.

Gardening with grandpa helped teach me about the importance of maintaining a healthy environment for flora. Watering, fertilizer, where seeds should be planted. Cooking with grandma helped teach me the importance of planning ahead, following recipes, and what ingredients go well with what.

I’d like to say I knew a little more about gardening than Tigershark, but she probably still had me beat on cooking.

“Boof!” Fetch liked to make those noises sometimes. They were different than a ‘woof’ or a ‘whoo’ or a ‘arf’ sound. Fetch didn’t make ‘arf’ sounds, as ‘arf’ sounds were reserved for smaller dogs, unless those smaller dogs had laryngitis or even bronchitis (I knew about those things, generally speaking).

As for Tigershark, we...or, I, felt the distance setting in. We didn’t walk as close. We didn’t hang out as much during lunch or recess. I had Celeste, and made friends with another, Ronnie. Tigershark had Hammond, and recently met a girl named Rhubarb. We had our groups, and that was fine. At least we still spent plenty of time together at home.

Really, as much as the distance might have pained me (had I felt pain for anything), it felt rather normal. That’s what life was starting to feel like in general: nothing magical, just school, home, school, home, ad nauseam.

That was the most painful of all: how ordinary it all had become. I had not long ago worried that I had run out of anything interesting to discover. That ambiguity has run its course and I was stuck having to face absolutes.

No, that wasn’t fair; there were always many ways things could have gone.

That things had gone more or less in my favor from the start wasn’t a coincidence, but there was still wiggle room where events could have gone any number of ways. That was the problem, wasn’t it? My favor was also working against me. It always has, as I knew the universe was just as tricky as I, and just as well, didn’t take kindly to being tricked.

I understand now that’s what brought the distance between Tigershark and I.

We could see into each other’s heads, as we were connected, but I was still able to keep secrets of my own. And she knew it, too. Even if she didn’t know the cause, she no doubt felt my constant feeling of dread. That I would have to go soon.

Did I want to leave? No. But it was necessary in order to even things out with the universe. That’s what it all came down to, right?

Still, nothing like that happened.

The week passed as normal.

The dread didn’t end, but neither did the sense of normalcy. Both feelings battled for dominance over the other, and so far, neither had won out.

So Friday night, after playing some video games, Tigershark climbed up to the top bunk of the bunk bed. I put my Nintendo Switch away under my pillow.

“Goodnight, Tigershark,” I said into the ether.

“Goodnight Astraea,” she said back. She sounded exhausted. Maybe it was just being sleepy, but it could have just as likely have been from the wrestling club she recently joined (Hammond and Rhubarb were in that club as well, and in fact, that’s where Tigershark met Rhubarb).

I closed my eyes. I knew I wouldn’t sleep, as I never did, but I still wanted to try getting into the act. If I could one day understand the process, maybe I could have willed my way to sleep. Alas.

Instead, I thought about the week. How I could have made more precious memories. Left a stronger impression. Over the course of a week, or at least five or six days, it was possible to make many precious memories. Or at least one or two.

When I opened my eyes, I was met with total darkness. I tried standing up, but hit my head against a wall. As it turns out, I must have been inside some kind of box. Metallic, perhaps?

I felt around the walls in front of me.

Sturdy, cold. Definitely metallic.

I tried banging my fists against it. Whatever this place was, I just got the feeling that I was never meant to be there. I pounded away, but it didn’t seem to make so much of a dent.

My small, human fists with their small, human fingers throbbed and its flesh felt tender. If I could see, maybe I would have found them bruised. That wasn’t right, was it? That I was able to feel such pain.

But I already knew what that meant. I was beaten up already. I couldn’t find an explanation for the pain, but I figured, this must be how the universe does me in.

“Please. Please,” I bit my lip and begged. The pain on my fists was sharp and it burned. As if the very notion of having them attached to me was painful.

“This isn’t right. This isn’t how I should go. I should at least say goodbye, I –”

A latch clicked and I fell onto a bright, golden floor as the wall opened. I looked back: indeed, it had been a box. More like a large, leathery suitcase, but a box nonetheless.

“On the contrary. This is exactly how you should go,” crooned a slick voice. Though I had never heard him speak before, I met him several times. I knew him even before I was born. I looked up, past the box I had been stuffed in and saw him clad in a purple, three-piece suit: Aion Eterna.

He stood with a slanted, cold smile. After getting a good look at him, he walked back up the stairs of the stage and sat atop its edge, his legs folded. Behind him was a thick, red curtain.

I looked around and saw the bronze, marble pillars along the sides of the hall which stretched out to whatt I thought was an impossible distance. Behind the pillars were the back walls with their yellow bricks. That next led me to stare down at the floor, and that was when I noticed that the floor was not gold at all, but contained the same yellow bricks.

“How am I here?” I asked.

“Luck, mainly,” he rested his arm on his knee and spread out his palm. “You wouldn’t believe how easily this could have gone wrong. First, I traveled to the town your friend’s grandparents live with my own plane that I got stashed away. Just a small, private helicopter. Nothing fancy. I pretty much had five days to twiddle my thumbs. But I didn’t do that, did I?”

“Of course not. It’s not like you,” I felt a little more ease, but that was in spite of his presence, not because of it. “So go on.”

“As you wish. Next, I scoped out where you were staying at. It didn’t take me long to find it, and I passed by the window to your bedroom a few nights just to be sure. Do you know how uncomfortable that made me? Do you know the optics of an old man like me creeping in on a child’s room?”

“Have you ever felt discomfort?” I sure was uncomfortable, but that was a different matter.

“I wonder. So, Friday night, I had to pick through the lock on the window. I was lucky once again that the child in the room didn’t stir awake. You were, of course, awake, but your eyes were closed, and were they to have opened, I’m sure you wouldn’t have come willingly.”

“No. Even if I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.”

“You did? Of course you did. Really, I don’t know if that makes this easier or harder for me.”

“So what comes next? You stole me away in the middle of the night? But how could you have done that without me noticing?”

“Sedative. I injected one into your neck. It knocked you right out. The next day, you were deep in sleep. That child tried to wake you to tell you that she was going back up to see Ray, but you didn’t stir awake. So she wrote you a letter, because she still wanted to say goodbye, but she didn’t want to wake you. After she left, I had a short period where her grandparents wouldn’t check in on you. I crept back in, stole you away, and placed you in the box as I flew back here.”

“That shouldn’t be possible. I would have felt that. Not to mention, it shouldn’t have affected me. I can’t go numb and I can’t fall asleep.”

He drew a labored breath. As if he was the one who should have been exhausted.

“What ever gave you that idea?” He shook his head. “You were asleep before you even came to life.”

Those words didn’t sit well with me, but I couldn’t figure out why. It made sense, but at the same time, it left me with questions, how could I be asleep before being alive?

Ignoring the potential questions I had on that subject, I asked a separate one:

“Why did you bring me here?”

His mouth opened, almost to release a gasp, but he closed it again before he said:

“You already know the answer to that. I brought you here because you brought me here. I had my suspicion already, but meeting Cronus and traveling to the Hall of Memories confirmed it.”

My eyes widened with worry.

It really had worked in my favor. Both Rhea and Remora were alive. Nemesis lived, too. But I…

“I changed my mind,” I told him, “You can find another scheme to pull, but I’m done.”

He shook his head with his head down and a heavy frown placed upon him. He looked mournful, and maybe it was the first genuine emotion I ever felt from him.

“It doesn’t work that way.”

“I want to go home! I want to see grandma and grandpa again!”

“What home? The home you had no longer exists.”

“What do you mean? Did you do something to grandma and grandpa?”

“Not at all,” he closed his eyes. He still didn’t show any smile, “that was never your home. That was the child’s. Your home was in a secret base of operations, out in the stars. That base no longer exists. I’m sure you know why.”

Remora.

I didn’t have strong feelings about her, but I knew others cared about her. She should have thrived. For all the destruction she may have caused, she still deserved a life.

“I wouldn’t want to go back there, anyway! That place had nothing for me! I want to stay on Earth! I want to have friends and go to school! Life here is interesting!”

“Like it or not, you served a purpose there. Here, you are only a hindrance. I’m sure you’re aware of that, otherwise you wouldn’t have brought me here.

“Well…” I stuck out my tongue. “I don’t want you anymore! I never liked you, anyway! I’m leaving!”

He pressed his palm into his face.

“You’re welcome to try,” he mumbled.

“You’re not going to attack me?”

“Not yet.”

I eyed him, but he didn’t move. If push came to shove, I could always warp out of there. Going between past and present was as simple as walking forward or backward.

So I turned from him and walked forward. I managed to walk past the first set of pillars, but as I tried walking further, I hit a wall and fell back.

“Oww...my nose,” I rubbed it.

I looked ahead of me and still saw the rows of pillars and the hallway which should have led outside, but as I stood up and felt around, I found myself unable to walk any further.

“I have a bounded field set up,” he said from afar, “others may enter, but you’re stuck in here with me. Only I could bring it down.”

I stomped back toward him.

“So do it!”

He said nothing. Didn’t even shake his head.

“I can still warp out of here! You can’t stop me!” I yelled into his face.

But as I tried to close my eyes and focus, I found I couldn’t move. It was like my mind was blocked from thinking of any other place to go.

“It’s not like you’re powerless, but the barrier I erected has weakened you some,” he explained.

No. Maybe I wasn’t powerless. But I couldn’t imagine what power would help. I knew it would happen, I just never knew how, and I had been anticipating it for a while. I even wished for it.

“So why haven’t you killed me already?” I sat down next to the box I was smuggled in, “That is why you’re here, isn’t it? So go ahead and do it.”

He looked to his right, away from me, and bore an absentminded expression.

“I think I’m just hesitating. You have no idea how hard this is on me. I don’t enjoy killing, you know. I always have someone else do it for me. Even if it’s an easy task for me, it doesn’t bring me the same thrill that it does for others. It just feels wasteful. People are more useful alive than dead, and although you aren’t what I would consider a person, the act itself is the same.”

“If you’re this broken up about it, then why go through with it?” I scowled at him.

“Because unlike you, I don’t back out of a deal. I see it through to the end and just hope that there’s a silver lining. Usually, I come out on top, but I’m used to failure, as well. In big ways, too. But even then, I’ve had to accept the consequences and cut my losses.”

I pursed my lip.

So this is regret, I thought.

There was much more to regret, and would probably come to regret if I lived long enough to do so.

“Do you know what will happen when I do this? Ray and his friends will come to hate me. If I was never brought here to do this, I could have kept my mouth shut about my past affiliations. Maybe I could have made friends with some of them, but that time has long passed. I’ve made sure to act out the part of a villain so that it will at least soften the blow, but it doesn’t make this any easier; do you know how much I hate being in the spotlight?”

“I don’t care. You are a villain. That’s why I brought you here.”

He raised his head and his brows raised along with it.

“Do you really see me as a villain?” He asked.

“Yes. You’re my villain.”

“I read about the conversation you had with Marco. Still, I can’t help but be hurt. It may be true that I have no conscience, and no doubt, I’ve committed many heartless acts for my own gain, but why would you, who up until recently, had no concept of morality, see me as a villain?”

“You already know why.”

He nodded slowly.

“I suppose I do. I treated you like cattle and harvested you. Prevented you from having a life.”

He nodded again, this time faster, as if to the tune of a jazz song.

“I won’t apologize for that,” he shrugged his shoulders. “That was your purpose. That’s how you should have stayed.”

I don’t know what I expected. That he would be sorry? No. I knew better than that. Still, it ate at me.

We may have both been in this predicament, but he was going to ensure it was seen through and afterward, he would see it as another simple, heartless act. Meanwhile, I betrayed everyone who ever knew me. After all, it was my plan, not his. He just worked out the details.

Aion and I were connected in ways I could have never been connected to with Tigershark. In a Frankenstein sense, he and I were like father and daughter. Even if I came from the stars, that connection wouldn’t be severed. I knew I shouldn’t fear the end of Astraea; when it was time, I would return to the stars where I belonged.

Fear wasn’t in my nature. It wasn’t the emotion I was born as. If I was ever born at all.

“What emotion am I?” I asked. It occurred to me that I never did have a name for it. Only analogies, which didn’t do me any good in my predicament.

“I don’t know. Maybe that’s the point.”

He smiled now, and fished into the pocket of his suit until he pulled out a cigarette and lighter.

“Do you smoke?” He offered.

“I’m a kid.”

He scoffed.

“Suit yourself. But for the record, that form you’re wearing is just a matter of convenience for you. You’re much older than that, maybe almost as Ananke and I.”

“Shouldn’t I be older?”

“Aha, there you go.”

He flicked his lighter and held the cigarette between his teeth. They were awfully white, but also looked rotten in a way I would call a house void of bacteria. As he lit the cigarette, he kept his head turned away from me and blew out a cloud of smoke.

“Ah. You know, whenever I smoke, it’s like I’m putting a gun to my mouth. When I light it up, it’s like I’m pulling the trigger. But when I take a puff, I find that I’ve been shooting blanks this whole time. Do you know what I mean?”

“No.”

“These chemicals don’t seem to have an effect on me. The nicotine doesn’t have a hold over me, nor do any of the other substances they load into these things. It’s like the tar that should have covered my lungs fades away into dust every time. There’s no stimulating effect, either; I feel neither low nor high.”

“Don’t you only do things that are useful for you?”

“That’s a misconception: I’d rather do whatever I can make use of, but I don’t find killing you to be much use for me. As I said, I see deals through to the end. Some may see me as a handsome devil, but I really am Dr. Faust. Learn to accept the cards that have been dealt.”

“So why do you smoke, then?”

“Call it an oral fixation.”

“I don’t understand.”

He took another puff. I expected him to say more. To fill the silence. It fit his image, somehow, to keep talking just to hear himself talk. But he didn’t do any of those things. He just continued to take puff after puff, blowing smoke along the way.

Maybe it’s me that wants the silence to be filled, I thought.

My thoughts were answered with the voice of another. But it didn’t come from Aion.

ASTRAEA! It was a high-pitched call. I knew that call anywhere: Tigershark. Astraea, where did you go? Grandma and Grandpa said you weren’t at home, and they don’t know where you went! I’m back at the diner, so I can’t come back home, but please tell me you’re there!

I tried to block out any thoughts of my own. Whatever answer I gave would have brought harm to her.

Please answer! If you can hear this, please...just a hint. Anything. Where are you?

I couldn’t see her, but the voice that echoed in my head sounded close to tears. Even still, I knew better than to answer.

...It’s a golden? Yellow? Place. There’s pillars. I don’t know where at, exactly, I heard myself reply to her, as if against all warnings, my mind wouldn’t allow me to go without answering her.

Do I even have a mind? I wondered.

Of course you do! Um...golden place...I don’t know, but I’ll tell Ray what you said! Came Tigershark’s answer.

I was ready to curse myself out. I didn’t mean to ask her whether or not I had a mind.

Aion stood up and held the drained cigarette butt between his fingers. He walked over to the far wall of the stage, near the curtains, and walked behind them. It only took a few seconds before he emerged. He walked out with his cane.

“There’s an ashtray in the back. It’s bad manners to litter, you know,” he pointed his thumb behind him.

I nodded.

I needed no explanation, but there was a sort of mystery about what could have resided behind that curtain. Saying that could have been his way of humoring me.

More time passed. Whether a few minutes or an hour, it wasn’t clear. Only that there was silence between us in that time.

At last, his face contorted into a resolute expression. He unsheathed the blade that resided under his cane, and tossed the sheath aside.

“I’ve stalled long enough,” he stated with a flat tone. No sense of humor to him, nor a grave seriousness. It reminded me a little more of Rhea’s voice than Ray’s. How I wish he was either of them rather than who he was.

He leaped down from the stage and closed the distance between us. I backed away. I should have stayed still and accepted it, but my legs betrayed me, as if they still hoped there was some way of backing out.

Still, I was no fool: it would have only taken one swift strike for it all to end.

Before he could strike, I felt a sharp, black line, fly past me and in his direction. He held one hand over his face, caught the object between his index and middle finger, and I saw blood trickle down his hand from the space that held the object in place. His blood was red, but darkened, slick, and murky, to the point that it reminded me more of motor oil.

Between his fingers was a small, thin throwing knife.

Aion spread his lips into a toothy grin.

“Looks like I stalled too long,” he muttered, before looking past me and flicking the knife onto the floor.

“ASTRAEA!”

I turned my head and saw Tigershark running from afar, as well as Demetria, Remora, Ray, and Nemesis.

What are you all doing here? I wanted to shout, but I already knew the answer.

“So, Demetria, I presume?” He called out. “I heard about your exploits. You’ve pulled some amazing feats. However, seeing you now, I’m a little disappointed.”

“Ugh! I wish I paid better attention! I should have known you were trouble!” Demetria snarled, and her face was red and twisted in rage. She looked angrier than Nemesis who wasn’t far behind her.

“Yes, well, hindsight and all that,” he dismissed.

Ray tossed a rifle over to Remora. I knew it wasn’t her old, signature rifle. All the same, she readied it in Aion’s direction.

“You may have lived a long life, but you can still bleed,” Remora said, almost as if a warning.

“My poor, pitiful janitor,” his eyes fluttered as his lips lowered to a face of displeasure.

“Let her go and I’ll spare you.”

“Yeah! Let my friend go!” Tigershark shouted.

He chuckled.

“You are all so ridiculous, it hurts. Do you really think you can bargain with me? Be honest,” he began walking toward me once again, his cane-blade readied in one hand.

Remora took the shot.

It was over in an instant: one little swing of his cane-blade and the bullet landed on the floor.

“What? How can that be so?” Remora’s eyes darted between him and the floor.

“It’s not that I was fast. I just got lucky,” he explained. Before I could get any brief relief, his focus shifted back to me. A remote of sorts fell out from his left sleeve and I noticed many yellow buttons set against the dull gray that made up the remote.

Despite looking down, I could tell what he was about to say wasn’t meant for me:

“You know what they say about third time being the charm?”

He pressed one of the buttons.

“That’s why you’re not getting a third chance.”

Tigershark was the first to bump into the invisible wall. She fell over, and Nemesis helped her back up.

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Set up another bounded field, of course. This time in their direction. Now no one can come between us.”

“Why are you doing this?!” Tigershark cried.

“I think I stand for everyone when I say that we’d all like to know,” Ray joined in. “She’s a child. Powerless. Explain yourself. You owe us that much.”

Aion stopped. I continued to back away, and although I still wasn’t close to the others, I wasn’t far from being close, either.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Ray: this thing is not a child. Nor are they powerless. They are infinitely older and more powerful than anyone here,” Aion said.

“That’s my friend you’re talking about!” Tigershark shouted.

His gaze shifted toward her.

“That is not something you can be friends with. They are not human. Never were.”

“Yes she is!”

“No. Some have called the kind of creature this is a cosmic entity, while others have referred to them as angels. I find both to be too broad of statements. But what’s a better term? ‘Emotives’? No, that still doesn’t work.”

“I already know all that! She’s still my friend!” She began banging her hammer, the same one I once made for her, against the invisible wall. I knew it wouldn’t shatter. That was the worst part of all.

“Fine. It’s useless as it is to argue with a child, but let me try: you can consider yourself friends with this thing if you’d like, but you can’t befriend them the way a person can befriend a person. This thing is infinitely larger than you. If anything, if they see you as a friend at all, it’s in the same way that an owner would see their pet as a friend. You two were incompatible from the start.”

“That’s not true! It’s never been true!”

Aion raised an eyebrow.

“You were the one who tried to argue that angels weren’t evil. I can reason with that, actually: they have no concept of good or evil. They simply are. But there’s no doubt how dangerous they are. Their very existence is akin to a natural disaster. Tell me something: if you had a chance to stop a hurricane from happening, wouldn’t you take that chance?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“It’s true that natural disasters are dangerous, but they still play a vital role in our ecosystem. They’re as important to the world as anything else,” Ray cut in.

“Goddamn it, Ray. Can’t you wait your turn like a good boy?” He growled. Rather than return his attention to Tigershark, he changed over to Demetria. “And you, didn’t you say that if this creature hurt Tigershark, you would do anything in your power to kill them?”

Demetria clenched her fists.

“That...that may be so, but Tigershark is happy with her. Astraea hasn’t hurt her, or anyone. There’s no reason to go after something that means us no harm,” Demetria argued. “The only one who means harm here is you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Again. This being has brought harm to all of you this whole time. They’ve just been using surrogates. Cronus? That was all them. They brought Nemesis here, with the sole purpose of bringing harm to your precious Remora. They even brought me here for the purpose of bringing about more conflict. Don’t tell me those actions were harmless.”

“What?” Nemesis gasped. Demetria went silent.

“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone! I never wanted Cronus to exist!” I cried.

“But if it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t have been a threat.”

“She didn’t know any better!” Tigershark shouted while continuing to pound her hammer against the wall.

“Irrelevant. Ideas of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ may not exist for ‘her’, but creating conflict is still in ‘her’ nature. Even if it worked out in the end, it’s not going to stop. It’s only going to grow bigger until this planet is no more. Do you really think ‘she’ can resist ‘her’ nature?”

“Yes! And I will help her!”

“Grow up,” he scoffed. “Learn to help yourself first.”

“So you fully intend to kill this angel?” Remora asked.

“Of course. I’ll do what you or Demetria couldn’t. Because I don’t have such sentimentality. Have you heard about one of the tests they did at witch trials? They would tie the witch to a log and throw her into the river. If she lived, she was a witch, and there may be no helping the townsfolk then. But if she died, she wasn’t a witch, and was instead human. Maybe an innocent life was taken and the ones who tied her up were now the evil ones, but at least the town was safe. It’s not a method I agree with, especially one which is contingent on witches not being real. Because if they existed, well...there would be no saving those townsfolk.”

“So you intend to do something similar?”

He gave a solemn nod.

“Do you know the true purpose of the janitors?”

“We were tasked with defending from or eliminating any potential threat to humanity.”

“Broad strokes. Over time, the original meaning and intention became blurred, but never truly erased. There was an external threat, discovered long ago: these celestial beings. That was the true threat to humanity.”

“I get that. Our weapons were created to harm byproducts of them or people who were infected, even possessed by them. Most of us never encountered one, but we all heard about them. But we all knew that we couldn’t harm the actual thing.”

“Those weapons were merely experiments as it was. It was theorized once that an angel could be harmed by using one of their parts against them. As it turns out, the weapons made from their parts could harm their creations, but it still couldn’t harm the main body.”

“So what makes you think your effort will be any different?”

“Because my weapon is like the opposite: I can kill an angel at their source, but I cannot kill their byproducts. I tested it out once before, as the angel of anger is no more, yet I couldn’t keep the damn thing from procreating. Anger still lives on through its offspring. I just have to accept that the universe is a safer place, even if its influence is still vast.”

“What if you’re wrong, then? What if Astraea isn’t the main body, but another byproduct? Then all this scheming, all this effort –”

“All these questions. Does nobody ever trust the method? This is the main body. It’s only condensed down and contorted until it took the shape of a little girl. But within that imitation human lies an endless web. Some would call it the cosmos itself.”

Something welled up in me.

It was a feeling of how wrong everything was.

Not just everything, but everyone, and that included myself. I should have agreed with him, that I had this vast power. That I was dangerous. That I deserved to be taken out. But I also wanted to be friends with Tigershark. I still wanted to experience the life of a human, no matter how mundane or ordinary. Taking that away…

It didn’t matter. Because I already knew what I was.

“SOMEONE! HELP ME!” Tigershark yelled and the others joined in banging at the wall. Demetria used her scythe, Remora used her pole, Nemesis had her curved sword. They were all trying to save this thing that should have disgusted them.

I turned, looked Tigershark in the eye.

“I’m sorry. For everything,” I said to her. My voice was choked up. My mouth was dry. All of it was wrong because I shouldn’t have known what it meant to be choked up, nor should my mouth had dried.

“Don’t say that! We’ll get you out of here!” Tigershark pleaded. Tears began to take form around the lids of her eyes.

“Do you have any last words?” Aion asked, his blade pointed in my direction.

“Yes,” I nodded. This time with a smile on my face. I should have had enough power. I didn’t know why any of them were panicking. I could form a barrier of my own. I could still block his attack.

I held my hands out in front of me.

“I’m not what you think I am. I’m not an angel after all,” I recited.

“Oh really? And what are you?” He readied his blade and ran toward me. If I had any power left in me, I could do this, it would…

...pass right through my hands and into my chest.

I felt the poke before it went in. Sharp, heavy.

I didn’t scream, I only gasped as the air escaped me.

Looking down, I noticed the blood drip onto my white dress, staining it. Worse, it seeped onto his blade and slid from there as well. My vision began to blur, and my eyes were having trouble staying open. Everything felt slow, fast, heavy, weightless. Numb. Feeling only pain.

“NO!” Tigershark screamed.

A streak of tears ran down my face, and I uttered what would be my last words:

“I’m human.”

Amen.

#writing #stories #remoras full #fiction #tigershark #astraea #human

[todourouki]

congrats on 1k+!! can i request for sfw #14 (domestic life w/ them 🥺) with aizawa, todoroki, bakugou, and shinsou? thank you sm!! i love your works :>

AHHH! thank you so much for this, it means a lot! and ugh this is so cuteeee!

Want to celebrate prompt night with me? Click Here.

SFW PROMPT #14: What would living with them be like?

including aizawa, todoroki, bakugou, & shinsou

living with aizawa would be so nice

he’s not a high-maintenance guy

he’s more of a “as long as nothing looks like a piece of shit, we’re good”

matching sleeping bags

the man adores his sleep, i’m sure we all see that

so there’s soft blankets spread over every single couch/lounge-chair incase the two of you decide to nap

every day off, you guys have a tradition on waking up the latest time you possibly could, cooking breakfast together and eating it in bed with a show the two of you are currently binge watching on the tv

aizawa isn’t a bathroom hogger honestly he probably doesn’t even look in the mirror as much as he should

he’s pretty tidy when it comes to leaving his shit where it’s supposed to be

mostly because if he loses it, he knows he’ll be too lazy to look for it and he probably doesn’t have time

the furniture is all monochromatic

i don’t see him as a guy having brightly covered couches in his living room

everything is neutral, black, or white

minimalistic king

due to pure exhaustion all the time, color is out of the question, it reminds him of his students and he hates it but secretly loves it so all of his plates are multicolored

honestly living with aizawa sounds amazing

“Shouta,” you groan, eyes snapped harshly shut die to the light tracing into the room from the now open shades, “close the freaking things.”

Aizawa mumbles right after you, leg kicking the shade he once accidentally lifted with his foot back to where it once was. With the harsh tugs done by his feet, the light in the room finally fleeted away and allowed the comfortable dimness takeover once again.

The Pro-Hero’s arms gripped onto you tighter, nose nuzzled into your neck and bringing your body the kind of warmth necessary within the cold room. “S’go back to sleep, kitten.”

You mustered a smile, eyes still closed and hands running through the silky black hair resting underneath your neck. Mornings with Shouta were always the same— waking up once because of his leg obnoxiously releasing the shades, and both of you falling asleep once again in each other’s embrace.

You felt Aizawa begin to rub your back, fingers twinkling against your bare back soothing you beyond explanation. Within minutes, you felt yourself losing conscience, and you finally drifted back to sleep with the man you loved cradling you with unconscious admiration.

living with todoroki is exactly what you’d think it would be

i don’t mean to say it

but ima say it

this rich bitch has a ton of antique and expensive furniture lying around

mostly because he loves using his dad’s money

you and todoroki are a weird match

because you both love the exact same things

so all the furniture in your home

whether the living room be one color and bedroom be another

it all weirdly goes together because you’re both so good and coordinating shit

like your couch could be fucking orange

and the blue throw-pillows and decorations you cover your living room with just make sense

just like the two of you

living with todoroki means you figure out just how funny he actually is

also just how dense the boy could be

like he’s so sweet but also a little ✨dumb✨

he doesn’t know how to use the laundry machine and he never will don’t change my mind about this

todoroki loved cold soba we all know that

so there is a specific cabinet underneath the sink filled with all the ingredients for making it

that cabinet has to be restocked a lot

usually on days off, shouto would like to sleep in but he knows he just can’t

so if you like to sleep in, he already went out for a run, took a shower, and made you breakfast by the time you wake up

if you like to wake up early/with him, you find yourself either joining his workout or making him a hearty breakfast by the time he gets back

living with todoroki is really sweet bye i’m gonna go cry

“I just don’t understand why I’d have to press so many obnoxious buttons to get it to wash clothes,” he began, his stoic voice staring harshly at the machine infront of him as you stared at him in disbelief, “it isn’t my fault.”

“Shou, you froze the entire machine..” You repeated, a deadpanned expression on your face as you tried your hardest not to laugh.

You knew your boyfriend wasn’t the best at figuring things like this out, he hated to admit it but his family had done a lot for him back home. And sure, he wasn’t a little boy anymore and should probably know how to work a laundry machine, but he was convinced it acted up with him and him only.

“It was giving me a hard time, I didn’t even realize I froze it until I realized the clothes weren’t spinning anymore..” The frown on his face was one you couldn’t help but smile at, the grin taking over your face as you chortled a laugh.

With your empty hand, you gave the boy a kiss on the forehead, his calculating expression trying to decipher the reason certain clothes needed a certain temperature of water. Moments like this made you realize just why you loved Todoroki so much.

bakugou

is a handful

that’s clear to everyone

but living with him, oddly enough, is not

you both have a specific cleaning day

every single sunday morning

and that same night included the two of you watching a movie and having loud in-depth character analysis debate every single time

you both have special cooking days (he has more but it’s ok bc he won’t say it but he absolutely loves cooking for you)

bakugou has been through a lot, my baby

so consistency is something he depends on

he nearly breathes for it

routine is everything in your household, being something you grew accustomed to as well even if it’s not what you’re used to

every day you’d wait for him to get back home on the plush couch in the living room

so that way you’re the first thing he sees when he gets home, as well as a platter of his favorite food for the night and his fav tv show on the tv

he feels like he’s walking into heaven every single day

and depending on your schedules, you get the same thing when you get home if he beats you to it

a show/anime you’re trying to finish, the food you’ve begged him to make, and your loving boyfriend/husband lounged against the couch waiting for your arrival

you both wake up early— sorry, even if you don’t want to

bakugou doesn’t give a single fuck, he will wake you up and force you to either workout with him or start your day with him

on his days off though, you both sleep in until the afternoon

there’s literally no inbetween with your schedules

you’re both either up and ready to go by 8am or finally getting up to brush your teeth at 3pm

“How many times do I have to tell you— the real villain was not Sharpay, but Gabriella!” Your voice boomed, staring at your boyfriend who looked at you as if you had four heads.

“Babe, with all due respect, you’re a fucking idiot!” He retaliated just as aggressive and firm as you. “How can you say that when she’s such a bitch?!”

The credits of the movie you just watched played in the background, popcorn kernels pushing into the skin you had sprawled against your boyfriend. The pink reflected across your shirtless boyfriend, his ears beginning to redden due to the volume of his voice.

“Gabriella walked into that high school and literally stole everything Sharpay worked for,” you retorted, the straw you were drinking from entering your lips as you took a quick sip of the soda, “that’s being a bitch!”

He opened his mouth, signaling you to throw one of the Swedish Fish candies into his mouth and you did. With a laugh, you continued to throw food into one another’s mouth over and over throughout the argument.

“Maybe you resonate with Sharpay so much because you’re both bitches.” He snickered, dodging a pillow that fleeted your side of the couch and into his side by your right hand.

A gasp slipped your lips, narrowing your eyes at his tall figure and shoving a candy down your throat after his words, “maybe that’s why you love me, cause you’re a bitch too.”

living with shinsou >>>> breathing

shinsou is a gamer idc

there’s a playstation in both your room and your living room for game nights

yes

you guys had a game night

every single friday you guys would sit in nothing but (shinsou’s) t-shirt, and underwear and play nothing but video games all day

you usually end up falling asleep when the sun begins to come up, always taking saturday’s off no matter what for the occasion

you both are clean

being too lazy just like aizawa to have to find it if it’s misplaced

the bedroom look the best bc shinsou gets tired of monochromatic things and you hate living in a boring setting

so the two of you’s aesthetic shines through the room

if you cook, then please know food us up to you

if you can’t cook

money is spent 90% of the time on take out

because shinsou can’t cook for shit i don’t care

sometimes people wonder how it is you both manage to go to work and have a coherent sleeping schedule

and the reason is

aside from shinsou’s clinical insomnia )-:

that the two of you are absolute dumbasses

you spend all day doing homework if one of you is in college

or doing the work that needs to be done if you have just a job

and after that?

it’s just cuddling, gaming, struggling to cook, ordering take out, and eventual sleeping when you both realize you’re both past a point of ni return

most of the time though, you both manage to sleep

it’s more surprising for shinsou though bc he could never sleep properly if he’s alone

the two of you live together in GTA

also, I canon that Shinsou loves watching The Office so you guys binge watch the fuck out of that

living with shinsou is living with a bestfriend that is a civilized adult at certain times that you can cuddle and make out with

a girl can only dream <3

The sound of the console played through the room, your focused face watching the screen in front of you intently. The feeling of the bed moving along side every tap of the controller in your boyfriend’s hands trembled your limbs, your eyes being too locked on the screen to even maintain a balance.

“Go to the left, the left!” You pointed out, your legs sprawled across your boyfriend’s chest as he rested his body horizontally underneath yours.

“I know..” His voice was enough to show you he was focused, his eyes barely blinking as he followed your command and moved the character closer towards the left.

As gun shots erupted through the room, all you could see were flashes of red across the screen and players who had been attacked in Shinsou’s frenzy dead against the floor.

Exhilaration ran through your veins as finally killed the last person, the feeling of his body tending under you making you smile in happiness. You had both been trying to beat this level for weeks and you finally did it, exciting you to no limit.

The phrase “victory” strobed against the screen, making the two of you cheer in happiness at the time being well spent. He landed a big fat kiss on your cheek, pulling you in by the string in your hoodie and pressing you against him.

“Let’s beat some more ass in this next round, huh doll?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it, pretty boy.”

#headcanons #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #aizawa x reafer #aizawa x reader #todoroki x reader #aizawa #shinsou #todoroki #1kfollowersnight #heillysreqs

[alpaca-writes]

Mystics, Chapter 10

When Arch becomes hired on at Mystics by Lyrem, everything seems to be going well- their life nearly becomes perfection. Soon enough, however, Arch realizes that perhaps not everything is as perfect as it seems….

Directory: [chapter one] [chapter two] [chapter three] [chapter four] [chapter five] [chapter six] [chapter seven] [chapter eight] [chapter nine]

Tag list: @myst-in-the-mirror

CW: misgendering of a nb character, creepy/intimate whump, psychological whump, shipwreck mention.

CHAPTER TEN: GEMINI PT II

        Charlotte would not hesitate to speak up when she found herself uncomfortable. Usually.

        Shortly after Arch had left for their meeting, Charlotte tidied around. She was left to clean up the discarded rompers around the living room and as she repacked on of the many clothing store bags she had brought home, there was a knock at the front door. She opened it, expecting a politician to be making their rounds or a band group from the high school to be asking for donations. Instead, she found Lyrem, smiling back at her with his unique charm. He was a bit red in the face, possibly from spending too much time in the sun.

        “What are you doing here?” She asked, already finding herself with a sickening feeling in her stomach from being near this unholy man.

        “Looking for Arch, of course,” he replied, “Are they around?”

        Charlotte paused, looking for any sign that the man might be joking with her.

        “No, Lyrem. They left a half hour ago to meet with you at Mystics,” She said unamused. “… Like you had asked them to.”

        Lyrem lifted a hand to his mouth, realizing something.

        “Oh dear. Oh dear…”

        “What?” Charlotte asked, becoming impatient.

        “Well, I had sent two messages,” Lyrem pulled out his phone, scrolling through their conversations. “One to say that there was a store meeting, and a second telling Arch that I would come by for a chat instead of-

        Oh… It seems that I had forgotten to send it.”

        Charlotte huffed, rolling her eyes at the old man. “Go find her then!”

        “Them.”

        “Oh, for goodness’ sakes, them.” She corrected. “You know I’m getting a little tired of you demanding so much out of them. Who runs a store downtown past nine o’clock on a Sunday evening, anyway?”

        “Someone who is desperate to stay out of a church I suppose.” Lyrem looked up from his phone. “There, I sent them a message to come back.”

        “What? Why? Go out and meet them. They’re probably downtown already!” Speaking sense to this old man was becoming more than a chore.

        “I would but to walk that far is not something I can manage anymore. Old bones, you know,” He smiled kindly at Charlotte. “Would you mind if I came in for a sit down?”

         Sit in your car, she thought.

        He was an old-fashioned sort, obviously craving human connection in the oddest of ways. What Arch saw in him as any sort of mentor, she would never understand. Reluctantly, she nodded, leading him through Arch’s sprawling makeshift bedroom and into the small kitchen where sunlight was still peeking through the trees by the window.

        “Would you like something to drink?”

        “A glass of water would be lovely.”

        Charlotte couldn’t help but smile patronizingly as she handed his glass to him. Tap water. He set it down on the table in front of him.

        “Would you like to hear a story while we wait for Arch to arrive?”

        Charlotte leaned against the refrigerator with arms folded. She cocked her head at him. She really didn’t care what he had to say or what stories he wanted to tell.

        “Sure,” she smiled.

        “Ah, wonderful. I love telling this one.

        The year was nineteen seventy-two. I had been travelling Europe for several weeks, however, for what particular reason I ventured out there for, I can no longer recall.” He cleared his throat, sipping the water from the glass on the table, taking his time. “I came upon a lovely town on the Grecian coastline. I had found a little place to stay there and enjoyed my time immensely with the local people. I stayed with a family who offered me a small room of their house for only a few pennies a night, and word eventually got around that I was looking for work in the area, seeing as I was too content living there to leave anytime soon. 

        It was one cloudy morning when a man woke me from a slumber; said that he had a job for me and would pay me quite well if I dared accomplish the task for him. He was in the delivery trade, you see; he would connect like-minded collectors and clients and deliver the items as a third-party investor that would keep both sides happy.”

        Charlotte had already lost all interest in the story, resorting to rub the bridge of her nose as she closed her eyes.

        “The package he had for me to deliver was none other than a statue of Perseus to be signed to a buyer on a remote island several knots out from shore. It was odd to me that he would not do the deed himself since it seemed simple enough, but alas I was not willing to miss my chance to collect on a decent paycheque.

        Out on the water, I followed his map. I took the necessary precautions, found my bearings, and yet being out there for an entire day I still could not find the island that this man had spoken of. It was marked clearly on his papers for me, and so I sailed throughout the sea until dusk, searching for it. In the evening of that fateful night, unwilling to turn back as I was quite stubborn; I had encountered a freak cyclone on the water. A fearsome storm that roiled in the abyss of the deepest parts of the sea. The wind and the rain blew so hard into the boat that it felt like I was being shot with thousands of miniscule ice pellets. I couldn’t see a damned thing out there. Water tornadoes threatened to capsize the boat more than once and left me to drown in the torrential depths of the Mediterranean.

        Then, I awoke, washed ashore the next morning. The man who had hired me to take the statue out stood over me as I opened my eyes on the rocks. I didn’t feel as though it was something I should have survived, and yet I did. Content with the job I had done for him he presented me with a large envelope containing over six hundred Drachma, and then he simply went on his way. At the time, it was a tremendous amount of money to me. If I could go back now, I think I would have demanded more for the risk it took to my life.”

        Charlotte rolled her eyes, thankful that the story had come to its end. But then she couldn’t help but wonder aloud.

        “What happened to the statue?”

        He lifted his gaze to her. “Hm. What about the statue, dear?” He asked.

        “Did it break? Did you lose it, and the boat in the storm?”

        He shook his head. “Oh no, no. The statue was delivered.”

        “You said you washed ashore after the storm”-

        “I had done what he had asked of me,” Lyrem explained, drinking more of the water down. “I came to accept that the statue was more valuable in the bottom of the sea, than on the surface of Earth. That must have been what the man also thought. That is what I believe of many things these days as well. Some things, some people, just belong under the ground.”

        Charlotte side-eyed him.

        “Right,” she said, checking the time on the oven. It had only been fifteen minutes.

        Lyrem checked his pocket watch. It was hidden away beneath his jacket, and he clicked it open checking it briefly before folding it away again. He made a humming sound. If Charlotte was familiar with the Spanish Guitar, she might have recognized the tune as Sevilla- Suite Espanola No. 3 as played by his favoured guitarist, Andrs Segov-

        “Where are the hell are they?” Charlotte walked across the small house, and peered out the front door, worriedly. “I don’t see her-them coming up the walk. They should be back by now.”

        “I’m sure they are being well taken care of,” Lyrem appeared behind her, causing her to jump in place and flip around.

        “But, I, myself, seem to also be running out of time.” Lyrem continued hauntingly, looking past the woman, over her shoulder.

        “Did you have something you needed to get back to?” Charlotte inquired. “I’m sure Arch can reschedule a meeting with you.”

        “Fortunately,” he sniffed, addressing her once again. “that won’t be necessary. I am exactly where I need to be at this moment.”

        With lowering brows, Charlotte backed up, keeping her hand on the doorknob.

        “What is wrong, Charlotte?” Lyrem tilted his head, in feigned concern.

        She couldn’t stop staring at him, frozen in place- wondering if she was being silly, acting crazy, or just reading all correct the signs that told her to run.

        She shook her head, heart pounding. He was merely standing there. Maybe a bit close for comfort, but he wasn’t threatening her. Not outright.

        “I- I don’t know…” She answered hesitantly. “But… I don’t think I want you anywhere near me… or my child.”

        “Arch will always be safe with me. Of that, I can assure you. As for you, though,” Lyrem admitted, caringly. “You won’t have to worry about me being anywhere near you, at all, ever again.”

        Charlotte was backed against the door now, turning the knob to the front door, intent on running out.

        “I mean it, Charlotte. You are far too disrespectful to be in my company. And I feel bad for Arch. How they put up with you for so long... well, that requires a modicum of patience that I have never once possessed. Never fear, my dear Charlotte. I am doing this for their sake. It really is better this way.” he explained. “That is why I plan to…”

        “’Plan to’ what?” Charlotte asked, fear rising in the tremors of her voice.

        “Well, I suppose you’ll see when you open the door,” he rushed his words, ushering her to leave as she wished to do.

        Charlotte bolted around. The front door opened to a pool of darkness. There was no light, no sound, no nothing. She had yet to step forward. She didn’t say a word and only stared into the beckoning void

        “Just remember to breathe,” she was advised in a whisper from behind.

        Then, Lyrem pressed a firm hand against her back. Into the darkness Charlotte was shoved forward, until she was utterly gone- swallowed up into the shadows where the light would never reach her.

        Lyrem closed the front door. The light from outside returned as he opened it again- the Labyrinth now missing. Cars drove on past, children rode their bikes, chickadees and jays cheeped in the bushes, and the breezes signaled early summer as the aspens trembled along the boulevard. It was the sound of life.

        Still, there was no Arch to be found. Not down the street. 

        Not yet. 

        A soft purr sounded by Lyrem’s feet, then he felt the warmth of a cat curling around his ankles. He looked down, and picked Maleficent up to hold her close until she was just beneath his chin. Her long gray fur tickled the side of his face.

        “Do you want to be a part of my family too?” He asked, looking down at her  sweetly. Maleficent purred on, as Lyrem’s index finger stroked the side of her cheek firmly. “I’m sure we can make room for you.”

#whump #mystics #Mystics by Alpaca #Lyrem #Arch #Alpaca OCs #writing blog #whump writing #creative writing #writing #whumpblr #writeblr #poor charlotte #just when everything seemed to be happy again #she gets tossed to the Labyrinth

[deanstop13billyjoeltraxx]

Superposition

a deancas college roommate au :)

Chapter 8 is up on AO3! Chapter-by-chapter masterlist here. 

CW: mentions of verbal abuse, homophobia, alcoholism, jail time. instances of smoking. 

some notes: I usually go through and italicize as necessary when I’m posting on tumblr because it doesn’t copy over from my og text, but this chapter is like 6200 words and i’m just not gonna do that. recommend reading on AO3 for the best experience!!

An Exercise in Futility

Three Years Earlier

Castiel was convinced that his life was one massive, cosmic joke.

He’d been considering the possibility for some time. Being the gay son of a homophobic pastor does that to a person. When he discovered, sometime around the age of twelve, that the girls in his Sunday school class were far less interesting than the boys, he could practically feel God laughing at him. Then there was high school, where the religious prattling was replaced by what felt like endless torment at the hands of his peers. 

He felt like college was quickly becoming the third punchline.

Not that things were bad. Things were good, actually, better than they’d been in years. He was learning about things he cared about. He passed his midterms with flying colors. He even had friends. He spent a weekend watching all of the Lord of the Rings with Charlie. He had switched seats in accounting to sit next to Meg.

And, of course, there was Dean. Dean, who dragged Cas to a football game and didn’t drink a sip of alcohol the whole time in solidarity; Dean, who, after Tombstone, insisted on movie night every Tuesday; Dean, who, demanded that Cas print out a copy of one of his short stories and sign it (“When you’re a famous douchebag, this is gonna be worth so much money”).

It seemed that, on all fronts, Castiel had finally capitalized on the collegiate promise of a second chance. 

But by his own estimation, he was doomed.

Because sometimes, his palms started sweating when Dean stood too close. Sometimes, his heartbeat skipped when Dean threw an arm across Cas’s shoulders. Sometimes, Cas woke up from a dream so vivid, he was disappointed to find himself alone in his bunk bed.

He could see how easy it would be to fall in love with Dean Winchester, what with the blond hair and green eyes, bright smiles and southern lilt, funny jokes and considerate actions. The prospect was utterly terrifying, and Castiel was doing everything in his power to stop dwelling on it.

He’d been down the “falling in love with your straight best friend” road before. AP biology class brought Cas a lab partner in Ben Wright. Soccer team captain, A-student, all around nice guy. Maybe Ben didn’t do anything to stop the constant verbal torment, but he never took part in it. At first, being around him was exhilarating. Sharing looks, catching smiles, trading inside jokes; Cas was intoxicated. He was so high on first love that he made the mistake of confiding in Bartholomew. Cas had always considered him to be a role model, friend and brother at the same time. But that night, when Cas came out, Bartholomew looked at him like one might look at spoiled food. He’d agreed not to tell their father, on the condition that Cas never speak about the matter again, that he figure out some way to “cleanse himself.” They hadn’t spoken since that night.

And so the feelings that once propelled Castiel to school with anticipation suddenly made him dread it. Not only did baring his soul to a brother get him a one-way ticket to estrangement, but Ben started dating someone else, a girl from his English class. Now every shared look was painful, smiles were false, inside jokes stopped being funny.

It was somehow worse, knowing Ben could never feel the same way. It certainly didn’t help the feelings of guilt and shame brought by his family.

Cas would do anything not to feel that way again. 

He started by insisting that Dean invite Benny and Charlie to more of their nightly dinners. And while he honestly liked the both of them, he would be lying if he didn’t admit that their presence was, first and foremost, a distraction from Dean. He took up running again, as a way to get himself out of the dorm when Dean decided to stay in. He spent more time studying with Meg.

Meg was shockingly easy to befriend. She wasn’t nice — Cas had watched in shock when, once, she dumped a hot coffee on a skateboarder who had knocked her down on accident — but she never said a mean thing to Castiel. She was like him: a black sheep, the child everyone wished they could forget. Only, where Cas had become an agnostic and gone to college, Meg had become a Satanist and gone to jail for arson.

But this was her new leaf, she told him. Maybe it didn’t matter why someone needed a second chance, only that they were willing to take one.

They had been working for an hour when she threw her pen at his head and said, “Cas, you should come with me to Sig Ep’s Halloween party tomorrow. Be my date.”

Cas took a moment to process the meaning of party + date + with Meg. “Uh, I don’t — well, um, parties aren’t really —”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re allowed to say no, hun.”

Cas panicked. Meg was looking at him expectantly, her resigned smile making it clear she was prepared for rejection.

“Well, I… It’s not because of you — you’re very beautiful, and smart. Actually, you’re one of the most wonderful people I’ve met here.” She grinned at that. “It’s just, I don’t really… Go on dates. With girls.”

She studied him a moment before understanding lit up her face. “Oh.”

Castiel fidgeted with his pencil, refusing to meet her eyes. He’d only ever done this once, and it hadn’t gone well. But he liked having a friend, and more than that, he liked having Meg as a friend. He didn’t want her to think he wasn’t interested because of any fault of her own.

“Cas,” she said. When he didn’t respond, she poked him in the arm. “Castiel.” He raised his eyes. “It’s cool. It’s not like you can just choose to like girls when a pretty one asks you on a date.”

“I… Understand, if you would rather not be friends,” Cas said, cautiously.

“What?” Meg’s eyes widened. “What are you talking about? Why would I not want to be friends?” She laughed a little. “That would be super ironic, considering I told you I went to juvie and you didn’t bat an eye.”

“Because I’m gay,” Cas said quietly, looking down again.

Meg grabbed both his hands. “Cas, hun, there’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

He looked up again, eyes wide. “What? I mean, I know that, I just… Not everyone does.”

Meg smiled sadly at him and gripped his hands a little tighter. “Well, I do. No biggie. We’re going to be iconic together, you and I. Sexiest gay-straight alliance of all time.”

Cas smiled weakly, relief flooding his entire body. “Thank you, Meg. I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to make any judgements on your character. It’s just… This,” he motioned at the air between them, “has never gone well for me.”

Meg shook her head. “That’s a shame,” she said. “I haven’t known you that long. But I think I can tell that you — all the parts of you — are awesome.”

“You can still come to the party,” she added after a moment.

Cas shook his head, capping and uncapping his pen repeatedly. “Parties… They’re not really my scene.”

“All right. You know who to call if you change your mind.”

                   On Halloween, Castiel returned from his nightly run to find Dean pulling on a flannel. He checked his watch — he had barely made it. 6:57 pm.

“Right on time,” Dean said. “I was about to leave without you.”

“I would have never forgiven you if you did,” Cas joked. Then, “Are Charlie and Benny coming?”

“Nah, they’re both busy tonight. Halloween parties, you know.”

“Oh.” Castiel took a large sip of his water. “You’re not attending a Halloween party?”

Dean shrugged. “Wasn’t really feeling it tonight. Plus, I have a feeling you’ve never seen The Exorcist?” When Cas shook his head, Dean rubbed his hands together. “Oh man, we are totally watching it tonight. Unless you’re busy,” he added, raising his eyebrows at Cas.

“I’m not,” Cas replied. Dean knew this already, of course, otherwise Cas might have made something up. The waters in which he tread got more dangerous each day. He couldn’t escape the warm feeling flooding his chest at the idea of Dean ditching the parties for a movie night.

It was precisely that feeling that caused him to hurriedly ask, “Would you mind if I invited Meg to dinner?”

“Who?” Dean asked, lacing up his boots.

“Meg Masters. She’s the friend from accounting that I told you about.”

“Ah,” Dean said. “Right. What, just me isn’t good enough anymore?” Cas thought he was joking, but it seemed forced.

“Dean —”

“I’m kidding, man,” Dean said with a short laugh. “Sure, she can come.”

Castiel hurriedly splashed his face with cold water and shed his sweaty t-shirt in favor of a hoodie. Dean feigned a sniff in his direction and made a face, to which Cas replied with an eye-roll. As they left their dorm, Cas sent a text to Meg.

CN (7:02 pm)

Would you like to get dinner with Dean and me?

CN (7:02 pm)

Unless you’re already at your party, in which case, be safe.

MM (7:03 pm)

Party not til later. hot roommate dean?

CN (7:04 pm)

...Is that a yes?

MM (7:04 pm)

Yes please ;) shocker dining?

CN (7:05 pm)

Yes. We’ll meet you there.

Dean grabbed a burger and an inordinate amount of fries while Castiel loaded his plate with spaghetti and a salad. Meg walked into the dining room just after he and Dean sat down, and Cas waved her over.

“Meg,” he said, offering her the seat next to his, “this is Dean Winchester. Dean, this is Meg Masters.” Dean smiled at her with a mouthful of french fries. Cas dropped his head in exasperation.

“Pleasure,” Meg said with a half-cocked smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Dean shrugged. “I am pretty awesome. Can’t say the same about you, though.”

Cas went bright red. He shot Dean a glare, then turned to Meg. “He’s joking —”

Meg’s grin only widened, and she giggled. “It’s all right, Cas, I’m not very interesting.” She raised an eyebrow at him. He became extremely intent upon eating his dinner.

Dean stared at her for a moment, chewing a bite of burger. “So,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “You know Cas from accounting?”

“That’s right,” Meg said brightly.

“So he’s your tutor or somethin’?”

Cas interjected. “Actually, Meg is far more capable than I am. She essentially taught me everything about liabilities.”

“Adorable,” Dean grumbled.

“Isn’t it?” Meg asked sweetly. “And you’re his roommate.”

“Yep.”

“Lucky you.” She gave him a wink. Dean choked on his diet Coke, and Castiel prayed to whomever was listening that he might cease to exist.

“Meg,” he said, giving her a pointed look, “did you finish the homework?”

She pulled her eyes away from Dean. “Yeah, I did.” She dropped her voice. “Did you want to go over it? At my place?” She winked at Cas, who stared at her in horror. Why was she acting like this? “You know,” Meg continued, “We can do other things too. Besides accounting.”

Dean cleared his throat loudly. “I’m gonna go grab some more fries. Do y’all want anything?” 

Cas and Meg shook their heads. When Dean had left the table, Cas gave Meg a death stare.

“What’s wrong with you?” He hissed. “I thought we covered this —”

“Yes, Cas, hun, I know you’re extraordinarily gay,” Meg said with an eyeroll. “I’m not actually interested. I’m just conducting an experiment.” 

Cas narrowed his eyes. “What ‘experiment’—”

He closed his mouth abruptly and leaned away from Meg when he saw Dean returning from the buffet line. He returned to his seat, looking between Cas and Meg suspiciously. Cas downed his water in one swift action.

“So, Dean,” Meg said after taking a bite of her pizza. “I hear you’re educating our friend here on pop culture.”

Dean didn’t bother to look up at her while he swirled a fry in ketchup. “Guess so.” 

Cas cleared his throat to interject. This direction of conversation was much better. “Meg asked what my favorite movie was,” he explained to Dean, who still hadn’t looked up from his plate. “I told her about how much I liked Back to the Future when we watched it last week.” 

Dean gave him a small smile. “Yeah, that movie’s friggin’ awesome.”

Cas turned to Meg. “We’re watching The Exorcist tonight.” 

Meg gasped dramatically. “So that’s why you blew off our date?”

Dean sputtered into his drink. “Date?” He said through a cough.

Cas looked helplessly at Meg, who unhelpfully smiled back. He was going to have words with her after this. 

“I asked him to come to the SigEp party, but he said he was busy,” Meg said, feigning a pout. “But I get it, parties aren’t really Cas’s thing, anyway.”

Dean’s eyes flickered quickly between Cas and Meg. “All right, am I missing something?” He asked. His leg was bouncing against the table leg, hard enough that Cas’s plate was vibrating. 

Cas looked at him, panicked, and stuttered out, “I don’t —”

“Like what?” Meg asked, sipping on her water.

“You his girlfriend or somethin’?”

This question delighted Meg. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Dean turned to Cas with an exasperated look. “Well?” He prodded.

Cas was sure he was about three different shades of red at this point. “What — I — no,” he sputtered.

Dean seemed to relax a little. Meg was still grinning like a madman. “There you go,” she said.

Castiel could not formulate a single coherent thought. He was confused as to how they even ended up here. The silence between the three of them was thick and awkward. Meg paid it no mind, just popped a strawberry in her mouth and gave Dean a sickly sweet smile. Dean excused himself to use the restroom, hitting his leg on the table and nearly tripping over his chair. Once he had left, Meg turned to Cas, her eyes sparkling.

“You are so in,” she said.

“What the hell was that?” He asked her. “What just happened?”

“He thinks I’m into you,” she explained. She took a bite of her pizza, then continued, “And he thinks you might be into me. And he hates that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Cas scoffed.

Meg laughed, throwing her head back. When Cas fixed her with a glare, her eyes widened. “You really don’t see it?”

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose. “There’s nothing to ‘see’. I already told you.”

“Yeah, right. Whatever, you’ll thank me later.”

“For creating what is perhaps the most awkward dinner I’ve ever had in my life?”

She waved him off. “Don’t be such a baby, it wasn’t that bad.”

Cas gave her a look that suggested otherwise. She sighed.

“Look, the way you talk about him…” Meg grabbed Cas's hand when he rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. You like him, and now you know he likes you too.” She sat up proudly. “I just did all the heavy lifting for you.”

“Right,” Cas said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Obviously, this interaction points to an inevitable romantic encounter. Except, and I think this is important, Dean is not gay.”

Meg raised an eyebrow. “Well, the way he looks at you, he’s not straight either. Plus, he apparently still thinks you’re straight, so you two haven’t had that conversation yet. He could be flamingly bisexual and you would never know.”

“This conversation is exhausting.” Cas felt like he was watching a Disney Channel Original Movie, and Meg was a fifteen-year-old matchmaker.

Meg laughed. “I’m sure you’ll survive. By the way, did you actually want to go over the homework this weekend?”

“Yes,” he said, relieved at the change in subject.

Dean returned then. “Are y’all done?” He asked, pointing to their plates. Cas and Meg both nodded, offering “thank you’s” as Dean took their plates to the dish rack. They followed him to the exit, the crisp air sending a chill through Castiel.

“Did you want me to walk back with you, Meg?” Cas offered.

She beamed at him. “You’re so sweet, but no. I’m getting an Uber to Sig Ep, anyway.” She dug into her coat pocket and pulled out something small and black. “Plus, if anyone tries anything, they’ll find themselves electrocuted. Just a little bit.”

Cas grinned. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“See you on Monday, Cas,” Meg said, giving him a hug that lasted just a touch too long. “It was good to meet you, Dean.”

“You too,” Dean muttered.

They watched her walk away for a moment. Cas wanted to avoid looking at Dean for as long as humanly possible. He had no idea how he was supposed to explain the previous interaction.

“So,” Dean said, clearing his throat. “She’s… Nice.”

“She is,” Castiel agreed earnestly. “Dean, I’m sorry, Meg can be a bit…” He struggled to find an adequate descriptor. “I think she enjoys others’ discomfort a bit too much, sometimes,” he finished.

Dean let out a short laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. It’s not a big deal, man.”

They stood in silence, Dean looking at the ground intently, Cas tugging on the strings of his hoodie. Dean kicked a rock, then sighed. “You, uh, you ready to head back?”

“Yes,” Cas replied.

The walk back to their dorm was quiet. Castiel couldn’t tell for sure, but he thought Dean looked bothered. He felt bad — he had honestly expected for Meg and Dean to get along. He had thought them to be similar in their confident and boisterous personalities. Now, he wondered if that was precisely the problem. Too much personality at the same dinner table. He winced internally at his own poor judgement. Meg obviously took no issue with the encounter, but he worried that Dean might hold it against him.

Dean let them into their room, then wrinkled his nose at Cas once more. “Dude, seriously, go take a shower. You’re gross.”

“Actually, I enjoy the feeling of my sweat drying all over my skin. I was thinking of going straight to bed like this. It’s not as if I didn’t take a shower because of your constant insistence upon eating meals at the same time every day”

Dean made a gagging motion. “Hey, we had an appointment, and you were almost late. How is that my fault?”

Cas just rolled his eyes and gathered his things to head to the showers. He let out a muttered, “Crap” when he realized nearly all of his laundry was dirty. He’d been busy this week, and running every day tended to render his clothes unwearable after a single use. He made a mental note to do laundry first thing in the morning. He was able to find an old pair of gym shorts, but not a single t-shirt remained in his closet. Cas groaned inwardly. So he would simply have to sit next to Dean for approximately two-and-a-half hours, shirtless. Fantastic.

When he returned from his shower, Cas found Dean cooking two bags of popcorn, the title menu of The Exorcist already on screen. Dean stood up from the microwave when Cas entered, and was halfway into a thumbs-up when he did a double take.

“Uh… We goin’ shirtless tonight, Baywatch?” He said, tugging at his collar.

Castiel tilted his head. “I don’t understand that reference.”

“Of course you don’t,” Dean said with a chuckle. “Seriously, though, dude.”

Cas sighed as he sat on their beanbag. “I have a lot of laundry to do tomorrow,” he said by way of an explanation.

Dean didn’t respond, but made his way to his own closet. He ruffled through it for a moment before Cas was hit in the face by a t-shirt.

“Here, just wear one of mine,” Dean said. He coughed and crossed his arms over his chest. “‘S kinda cold in here, anyway.”

Cas held up the shirt. It was a Led Zeppelin graphic tee, vintage, from their tour in 1977. Cas raised his eyebrows at Dean.

“It’s pretty awesome right?” Cas donned the t-shirt. “Sammy got it for me from a Goodwill a couple years ago. Another of my prized possessions.” He looked at Cas with feigned scrutiny. “Looks good on you,” he said.

Cas played with the hem as he said, “Thank you.” Dean coughed again and walked back to the microwave to retrieve their popcorn. The air was palpable with awkwardness.

Dean turned out the lights. They settled onto the beanbag, as had become custom in the last few weeks. 

Not even thirty minutes in, Dean’s phone began to ring. “Hey, my brother’s callin’, can you pause it?” Dean said.

Cas obliged, and Dean stood as he said, “Hey, Sammy, how’s it goin’?”

Cas sat awkwardly with his hands in his lap, doing his best not to eavesdrop on Dean’s conversation. Though, he supposed if it was private, Dean could have moved to the hallway. Instead, he leaned against the door, twisting the beaded bracelet on his left hand. 

“He did what?” Dean suddenly yelled, and Cas jumped. Dean shot him a quick apologetic look. “

“Sammy, calm down, it’s okay,” Dean said, and Cas couldn’t pretend to not listen anymore. He looked at Dean with a silent question, but Dean was staring hard at the wall, his free hand balled into a fist. 

“Put him on the phone,” Dean said in a low voice. A pause. “What, so now he’s allowed to treat you like shit whenever he wants?” Another pause. A slow exhale from Dean. “No, you’re right. I don’t… I won’t make it worse.” Pause. “Do you want me to come down there? Because I will, you know I will.” 

Dean was silent for a long moment before asking, “Are you sure?” He sighed at whatever his brother said on the other line. “Okay. Let me know if you need anything, I guess. And Sam? I’m really fucking sorry. I should’ve stayed, I don’t…” He trailed off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I know. Yeah. Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” 

Dean lowered the phone from his ear. He stood silently for a moment, angry gaze directed at the floor. Then, causing Cas to jump once more, he turned and hurled his fist at the door. 

There was a loud thud upon impact, and then Dean was yelling “Fuck! Goddammit!” as he cradled his hand. Cas stood abruptly, but had no idea what to do. He walked toward Dean, cautiously.

Dean’s eyes were closed, and he was heaving deep breaths. Cas put a hand on his shoulder. “Dean?” He ventured.

“Sorry,” Dean mumbled, still not looking at Cas. “I just — Fuck, that was so stupid,” he said, shaking out his affected hand. “Sorry,” he repeated to the wall. 

“It’s fine,” Cas said, even though he thought it definitely wasn’t. “What happened?” 

Dean just shook his head. Cas’s hand remained on his shoulder. He tightened his grip, a little nervous that Dean might shove him off. “Dean,” he persisted. “You can tell me.” 

Finally, Dean looked at him, and Cas thought if that level of rage was ever directed at him, he would promptly die. Instead, he raised an eyebrow. “Are you all right?” 

“No,” Dean growled. “I gotta — I don’t know, I need to calm down. I don’t actually want to break something,” he said, motioning to the door. “I’m gonna go for a smoke.” 

Cas dropped his hand and folded his arms across his chest. “I’ll go with you.” 

“Cas —” Dean started, but Cas silenced him with a look. He grabbed one of Dean’s flannels from his desk chair and threw it at him. Dean caught it with a cross between surprise and irritation. Cas grabbed his own windbreaker and put it on, looking expectantly at Dean. 

“Are we going?” He asked. 

Dean looked at him as if he was trying to decide whether arguing was worth it. A sigh confirmed that it wasn’t. He silently pulled on his flannel and opened the door, ushering Cas through before exiting himself. 

They walked in silence, despite the fervor of Cas’s concern and curiosity at Dean’s outburst. Dean’s jaw was set, and he took a long, slow breath when they hit the crisp fall air. When they reached the Impala, Cas silently moved to lean on the hood while Dean retrieved his lighter and a cigarette. 

Dean joined Cas as he took a long draw. He exhaled the smoke upwards, his eyes closed. His face was still turned to the sky when he asked, “This really doesn’t bother you?”

“What?”

Dean brandished his cigarette in answer, turning to raise an eyebrow at Cas. 

Cas shrugged. “It’s not particularly comforting. But, there are worse things.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked up thoughtfully. “Besides, you’ve been smoking for years. If anyone could convince you to quit, your random college roommate isn’t the most likely option.” 

Dean gave him a strange look before exhaling another plume of smoke. He coughed a little. “I think you have long passed the line between ‘random roommate’ and ‘new best friend.’”

Cas gave a little chuckle. “That’s good to hear.” Inside, his world was falling down and rebuilding itself anew. Dean thought of Cas as his best friend. Cas had never known that feeling, to have someone care about him like that. Cas wondered if that could be enough, being Dean’s best friend.  

He didn’t say anything more, though, just let Dean finish his cigarette. After throwing the butt on the pavement and stomping on it, he heaved a sigh. 

“My dad…” He started, but paused. “He, uh, he said some stuff to Sam. My brother.” 

Cas nodded, doing his best to keep his face neutral. Talking things through wasn’t Dean’s strong suit, and Cas didn’t want dramatics to make it more difficult. 

“What did he say?”

Dean shifted and rubbed his hands together. “Bunch of bullshit. ‘It’s your fault your Mom’s dead, it should have been you instead of her.’” Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth. “I mean, he used to say that to me. He gets into these moods when he drinks, says a bunch of shit he doesn’t mean.” 

Dean shoved himself off the hood and began to pace in front of Cas. “But I could take it, you know? Sammy’s just a kid. He doesn’t need to hear that.” 

“Your father says things like this often?” Cas asked, a tinge of horror in his voice. 

“He used to. But only to me. Never to Sam.” 

Cas took a deep breath, trying to discern how best to proceed. “Dean,” he said slowly, “he shouldn’t say those things. Ever. Not to Sam, and not to you.” 

“I’m just confused,” Dean said. “And pissed. Sam and him are usually okay. I mean, they’re not buddies or anything, but Dad leaves him alone for the most part.”

“I don’t want to overstep,” Cas said, “But it seems like your father used you as an outlet for misplaced rage. A punching bag, if you will. And now you’re gone, so Sam is the next best thing.” 

Dean met Cas'seyes with a horrified look. “God. I didn’t… You’re right. Shit, this is my fault, I can’t believe I —”

“No, Dean,” Cas growled. He stood and grabbed Dean by both shoulders. “This is your father’s fault. Not yours.”

“But I left Sam, alone, with him,” Dean said, and Cas could see panic rising in his eyes. “How could I do that, why —” Cas interrupted him again. “Why did you decide to attend college, Dean? What’s the real reason?”

“What?” Dean gave him an incredulous look. “I don’t know.” 

Cas tilted his head down, skeptical. 

Dean let out a long sigh. “Okay, all right. I went because Sam is smart, and he needs to go. But we don’t have any money. So I figured if I came and got a degree or some shit, I could make enough to throw him some cash while he goes to school. Get some summer internships and save up for his college fund. He’d probably still have to take out loans and stuff, but if I got a good job, I could help him pay them off.” 

Cas wasn’t sure what answer he had expected, but it wasn’t that one. He felt his heart break for the man standing in front of him, who did everything he could and more for the people he cared about and never felt like it was enough. 

“Would Sam ever hold that against you?” When Dean didn’t respond, Cas continued. “I know I wouldn’t. I have four older siblings, and not a single one of them has ever done something like that for me.”

“But—”

“You’re making yourself miserable over something that isn’t your fault,” Cas said. “Did you have anyone protecting you when your father went on a tirade?” 

“No, but—”

“Is Sam incapable of handling himself?”

“No, but Cas—”

“He’ll be alright, Dean,” Cas insisted. “You can’t live your whole life as his shield. You’ll break yourself trying.” 

Dean was silent, and wouldn’t  meet Cas's eyes. Cas dropped his hands and leaned back against the Impala. “Did you ever think that Sam might have wanted you to go to school simply so you could get yourself out? Did you ever think that Sam hates the way your father treated you as much as you hate what he did to Sam tonight?” 

Dean pursed his lips together, but his jaw relaxed slightly. Finally, he muttered, “I guess I never thought about it like that.” 

Cas felt relief wash over him. He’d never seen Dean like this — angry and frantic. Cas wondered if Dean always did this, shouldered the blame for every bad thing his brother had to endure. The thought made his chest hurt. 

Dean’s hands were hanging limply at his side. He looked exhausted. Against his better judgement, Cas grabbed Dean by the forearm and pulled him into a hug. Dean was still for a moment, but then sighed and rested his head on Cas's shoulder. 

“Sorry, man,” he said. “I didn’t mean to act like that, punching things and shit. I just get so angry, and I don’t know what to do with it.” 

Cas was trying very hard to form a coherent thought. “There’s no need for apologies. I understand.” 

A chuckle escaped Dean’s lips. “You must think I’m a complete nutjob, huh?” 

Cas tilted his head in consideration. Dean’s hair tickled his cheek. “No. I think your father spent years verbally abusing you, and you’re doing your best in spite of that.” 

Dean broke the hug abruptly. The sudden space between them felt criminal. “I mean, I don’t know if it’s abuse…” He started, but, at Cas's look, he trailed off. Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks, Cas,” he said quietly. “Honestly, dude, I don’t know what I would have done without you.” 

Cas's cheeks warmed, and he shrugged. “You would have done the same for me.” 

Dean gave him a small smile. Cas’s heart nearly broke with relief. “I’m beat,” he said. “Bed?” 

Cas nodded eagerly. “Bed.” 

When they reached the stairs, Dean broke the heavy silence.

“So…” He began. There was a false brightness in his voice; he was obviously searching for levity. “You hanging out with your girlfriend tomorrow?” 

“If you’re referring to Meg, she’s still not my girlfriend,” Cas replied vacantly. “And yes.” He suddenly felt exhausted. First the mortifying dinner with Meg, then the heavy conversation with Dean. He hardly had it in him to field jokes about Meg being his girlfriend.

“She’s not your girlfriend yet,” Dean amended, giving Cas a smirk that didn’t meet his eyes. 

And what was Cas supposed to say to that? Meg was funny and smart and beautiful. She and Cas studied together on the regular. There was absolutely no reason he shouldn’t be interested in Meg from Dean’s perspective. 

Of course, if Dean knew he was gay… 

Cas didn’t know if he could face the consequences of coming out to Dean. Would he be upset that Cas hadn’t told him earlier? Would he be uncomfortable with a gay man as his roommate? As his friend? Cas may have expanded his social circle, but he still couldn’t bear to lose Dean. 

But, then again, Dean had defended him once already, without knowing whether or not he was gay. He’d sounded indifferent to the possibility then. And just tonight, he’d called Cas his best friend. Dean cared more deeply for his friends and family than anyone Cas had ever met. Cas was in that group. Dean wouldn’t shove him out of it because of who he loved.

Right?

As they reached the entrance to their hall, Dean poked Cas in the shoulder. “Hey, Earth to Major Tom,” he said. “You okay over there?” 

Cas realized he hadn’t said a word since they started their ascent up the stairs. He sighed heavily.

Perhaps this was as good a time as any. 

“Dean,” he said, but closed his mouth. He should just say it. He had nothing to worry about. This wasn’t Bartholomew. He knew that, but the words remained stuck in his throat.

“What?” Dean said, eyebrows raised. “Cas,” he prodded, waving a hand in front of Cas’s face. 

“I’m not…” Cas swallowed. “I will never date Meg,” he finished, with a pointed look. 

Dean side-eyed him as they walked to their door. “What, she’s not your type?” 

Cas gave him a lopsided smile. “You could say that.” 

“I dunno, man, maybe you should reconsider, you two are pretty adorable, in a gross way —”

“Dean.” Cas was about to rip his hair out. He wasn’t taking the hint. “She’s not my type. She’s a girl.”

Realization dawned on Dean’s face. “Oh,” he said.

“I apologize for not telling you sooner,” Cas said, bracing for the worst. “If that makes you uncomfortable, I understand —”

“What?” Dean practically shouted. At Cas’s look of surprise, he lowered his voice. “No, Cas, are you kidding? I thought I told you, after all that shit with Cole. It’s not a big deal.”

“Knowing your roommate might possibly be gay and knowing he is, indeed, gay are two very different things.”

Dean looked at Cas like he had just made the worst joke in the world. “I’m not gonna, like, try to move out.” As they approached their room, Cas stared resolutely ahead, walking with purpose. But Dean jumped out in front of him, a hand on Cas’s chest to stop him in his tracks. 

“Dude, it’s gonna take more than that to get rid of me. I lost my shit and punched a door, like, an hour ago, and you barely even blinked.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

Cas met Dean’s eyes and found unparalleled sincerity.

“I don’t… You’re not the least bit upset?” Cas asked, slightly incredulous. 

Dean shrugged. “You’re my best friend, Cas,” he said as he straightened. “Nothing’s gonna change that.” He pulled on his bracelet. “I do feel bad though, for making you feel like you couldn’t tell me. Not that you had to, or anything,” he added in a rush.  

Cas shook his head vigorously. “It has nothing to do with you, Dean. I’m… I’m new at this,” Cas explained. “The first time, with Bartholomew… I believe he was, as you would say, a dick about it.” 

Dean’s eyes turned stormy. “Bastard,” he said. “I’m sorry, Cas. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.” 

Cas nodded. “You’re right. It was rather unfortunate. I haven’t spoken to him since the night I told him I was gay.” 

Dean moved back to Cas’s side and slung an arm around his shoulders. “His loss,” he said. “You’re friggin’ awesome, dude.” 

Cas smiled. Dean patted him on the back and let the two of them into their room. 

Cas brushed his teeth and climbed into bed. Dean returned minutes later from a shower, and he flipped off the lights as he made his way to his own bunk. 

Cas pulled off Dean’s shirt and threw it across the room. Dean’s head caught it, and he yelped.

“Thank you for the loan,” Cas said, smiling. 

An odd expression crossed Dean’s face before he threw the Zeppelin shirt back to Cas. “Keep it,” he said. When Cas gave him a confused look, he put a hand on the back of his neck. “I meant what I said. Looks good on you.” 

---------

tagging @nguyenxtrang :)))

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #destiel fic #spn

[kaibutsushidousha]

Cat, Ghost, and Revolution Sunday (Sagrada Reset 1) - Chapter 1: Starting on Sunday (part 2)

[INDEX]

Upon hearing the sound of the opening door, Asai Kei checked the café's clock. 9:55. Exactly 5 minutes before the agreed time.

Kei stood up, looking at the entrance. Haruki also stood up from the seat next to his. A girl with red glasses entered through the door.

She looked around the café with a serious expression and walked toward Kei.

"Hello. Are you Murase?"

She raised her eyebrow a little in response to the question but quickly nodded.

(Her expression is stiff. Not sure if she's wary of us or just nervous. I should soften up my smile.)

"Nice to meet you. My name is Asai Kei. And she is Haruki Misora."

After hearing that, the girl, Murase Youka, tried to smile. Her expression didn't get any less stiff, but at least she managed to lift the corners of her lips. On the other hand, her eyes were glaring intensely from behind the lenses. Kei paused for a second to think about the meaning of her gaze but decided he shouldn't be getting attached to first impressions. He focused on his own smile.

She spoke, intentionally trying to contain her voice.

"Hello. My name is Murase Youka. Tsushima told me a lot about you two."

Tsushima Shintarou was a teacher in Kei's school, Ashiharabashi High School. He was also a member of the Management Bureau. Every school in the city had a teacher like him. Just like how every school has a teacher licensed to operate the infirmary. They need to be prepared since ability-related incidents can happen in schools.

Kei and Haruki went to meet Murase by Tsushima's orders. However, all he told them about her was her name and age. He clearly remembered that she is one year older than them. From that, he could assume she was a high schooler, but he had no idea which school she attended.

Murase whispered fast.

"Sorry, I'm not used to this kind of thing."

Kei responded with a smile.

"Neither we are, honestly."

It's very rare for them to learn about their tasks from anyone other than Tsushima.

"Let's sit down before we talk", said Kei. He had stood up without much thought because he felt it would be in bad taste to greet someone from his chair, but he didn't know when was the best time to sit down again.

The waiter came to take their orders and Murase just uttered the word "coffee". Kei added ice cream to his order.

After the waiter left, Murase spoke in a quiet voice.

"Asai, you're a high schooler, right?"

"Yes. I'm a freshman."

"Why are you working for the Bureau?"

Kei reacted to the question with an ambiguous smile.

"Because I'm part of a club dedicated to helping their operations."

"The Service Club."

"Yes."

The Ashiharabashi High School Service Club. Every school in Sakurada has a Service Club and they are all supervised by the teacher from the Bureau.

The Bureau monitors people with special abilities. Technically, every ability is special, but the Bureau's tight surveillance is dedicated especially to the potentially dangerous abilities.

Joining a Service Club was one way to soften that surveillance, even if not by much. The teacher responsible for it gives them jobs according to their abilities and demands detailed reports of how they handled their missions. By filling a report form, the club members would be exempt from a few necessary steps of the regular management, gaining a certain degree of freedom.

"Not the nicest name, don't you agree?", said Murase.

"What name?"

"Service Club, what else?"

"Oh, of course. I'm quite fond of it, actually."

Kei's answer cut the conversation short. Murase didn't know what to say next. After a while, Kei asked:

"Could you explain what's happening? What do you want us to do?"

"He didn't explain anything?"

Her voice was strong, with small hints of annoyance. "Tsushima didn't tell you anything about my request?", she corrected herself in a much calmer tone.

(She's not very used to talking to strangers, isn't she?)

He had received a very simple explanation about his task.

"He told us we'll search for a lost cat. But that felt a bit off since he should have people better equipped to handle this job."

"He said you two were experts in finding things."

(Only if you lost it recently, I guess.)

"When did your cat disappear?"

"About one week ago."

(That's too late. What a shame, this would have gone without a hitch if you had lost it precisely 3 days ago.)

Murase softly closed her eyes and continued with a dark expression.

"But I'm not exactly looking for the cat. I found it last morning. I found it on a neighboring roadside."

"Then what are we supposed to do?"

"When I found the cat, it was already cold."

(I don't like the way she worded this. "Already cold.")

"Was it a car accident?"

"Yes."

Kei got the gist of his mission. He also understood why Tsushima phrased it as a "search for a cat".

He moved his eyes back to Murase, seeing she was also looking at him. The same glare as always. He noticed her eyes had been like this ever since she sat down. Her overall face changed to express her emotions, but her eyes were fixed, always facing forward. Never lowered, never raised. Those were eyes that could never find a rainbow.

Murase spoke in a firm tone.

"I hired you to revive a dead cat."

That was a very difficult request. As far as Kei could tell, no one in Sakurada had the ability to revive the dead, be it a human or a cat. That said, it's still true that Kei and Haruki were a good pick for this job.

"Got it."

"Can you do it?"

"Revive it? No. But we can undo his its death."

"Really?"

Murase didn't smile. She didn't look relieved. Kei confirmed her pressing glare was still daring him to do it.

Kei answered her question with another question.

"Why do you want to save the cat?"

"I just want my cat back. Is there any problem with that?"

"No, that's a perfectly valid reason."

He never planned to reject Tsushima's request.

He turned to Haruki, who was sitting next to him. She was playing with the black cat keychain attached to her phone, showing no signs of interest in Murase's story. It was always like this. Kei was in charge of all the conversations.

He held back on this urge to sigh. He turned back to Murase and tried his best to look serious.

"Do you have the resolve to kill three days worth of the world for this cat?"

There's no point in asking this question. Kei only did it to feel clever. After all, she would lose her memories of this conversation very soon.

Murase raised her eyebrow.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Today, yesterday, and the day before might be undone to save your cat. Do you have the resolve to force every person in the world to redo the past three days one more time?"

Murase paused to think for a while. The waiter brought the coffee and the ice cream while she did.

After waiting for the waiter to walk away, Murase gave a short answer.

"I do."

Kei ate a spoonful of ice cream.

"Then please tells us about your cat."

She told the cat was originally a street cat, until Murase Youka adopted it about half a year ago. It was a kitten at the time, but it quickly grew up. It was a crossbreed male. Its name was Calico.

Murase had a photo of the cat on her phone. Kei asked for her contact information so she could send him the photo. A soot gray cat with a crooked tail was eating under the shade of a street lamp. The cat didn't look too amiable, but Kei thought that only made it cuter. He died yesterday, ran over by a car in a commercial district. She found its body around 9:15 in front of a bakery.

After giving all the basic information, she thanked them in advance and stood up. She walked away, leaving behind the hot coffee cup she only touched once.

"What are we going to do?", asked Haruki.

Kei answered while trying to get a spoon of his mostly melted ice cream.

"We'll save the cat, of course. It's an official job, and I like cats, too. I can't find any reason to refuse."

If everything went right, the cat would be brought back to life, the girl who only looked forward would be happy, and the Ashiharabashi High Service Club's reputation would improve, potentially leading to a rise in their budget. A Service Club's budget was close to a part-time salary. They could use it for pretty much anything they wanted, as long as they remembered to get a receipt.

Haruki waited for him to finish enjoying his ice cream before she talked.

"But didn't this request feel any strange to you?"

"What part of it was weird?"

"First off, the goal of the mission. The Bureau wouldn't get involved unless the cat was killed by an ability, would they?"

"You're completely right."

The Management Bureau acts exclusively on problems caused by abilities. Things would easily get out of hand if they got involved in every problem that ever happened.

"Second, the request happened too soon after the accident."

"Yeah. I agree."

It was still mid-afternoon of the previous day when Tsushima gave them the order to meet Murase. According to her, the accident happened on the same day's morning. That would mean she contacted the Bureau, got her case approved, and transferred to Tsushima in merely a couple of hours. This was unnaturally fast.

"And considering this, what are we going to do?", Haruki asked again.

"We'll save the cat, of course.", Kei answered again. He didn't repeat his reasons why.

(This might not be an official job. It's quite possible that Murase simply asked Tsushima for help without even trying to contact the Bureau. If she's a student in Ashiharabashi, it'd make sense for her to know Tsushima. It's not like I know the names of every student there. If that was a private request to Tsushima, the inconsistencies Haruki pointed out start making sense. The timing sounds reasonable assuming the Bureau was never involved. Honestly, this whole story has many more curious points to it. That said, no one can know everything about something before trying it. Besides, I really like this job. "Save a cat's life". Really nice stuff there.)

Haruki gave a quick nod. It was a movement without emotion. And then, she said:

"Then, let's go to the festival tonight."

Suddenly changing topics used to be one of Kei's bad habits, but now it fully belongs to Haruki.

"What festival?"

(It is festival season, now that I think about it. We have festivals almost all over July, and then summer vacations start. That's how summer goes in Sakurada.)

"Sure. I'm free tonight, I think."

(That should be all for today, regarding this job. The complicated day will be yesterday, when the cat will die.)

Haruki had an innocent smile.

"Then let's hurry and save the cat."

"No, we need information first."

(The time limit is last morning. The cat will already have suffered the accident by 9:15. From my point of view, this moment will come in two days from today. I want to find him before that happens.)

Haruki tilted her head.

"We're asking Sakuin?"

"No, let's go with Unknown Caller today. The case might blow out of proportion if we rely on Sakuin."

After swallowing the last bit of ice cream, Kei stood up.

#sagrada reset #cat ghost and revolution sunday #asai kei #haruki misora #murase youka

[issa-me-addy]

I want to stay up with you (BF! Bucky Barnes Oneshot)

hello! here is my lil participation piece for @aesthetical-bucky and her 1k writing challenge! the prompt is the phrase “I want to stay up with you” :) 

Warnings: language? angst, fluff

Word Count: 1955

You and Bucky sat on your couch in your tiny little studio apartment, which was a 15 minute subway ride away from the Avengers tower. His flesh arm was wrapped around you and your thigh was draped over his knee as you lounged on the couch, the TV creating a nice luminance in the space as the sun began to go down. 

“I should be going home soon, baby doll,” he said softly before pressing a soft kiss to your temple. 

You immediately pouted and pulled away from his kiss, staring up at him with your eyebrows furrowed, piecing together an altogether borderline embarrassing facial expression. “No,” you said sternly, your eyebrows creasing so far down a shallow shadow formed above them. 

He chuckled in response, bringing his metal hand across your cheek, swiping the cold thumb back and forth on your cheek, “Darlin, we’ve talked about this. If you want to come back with me that’s fine! I’m always more than happy to share my bed with you.” 

You sighed, upset that you had to debate this again with him, but you were frustrated at this point. “What’s wrong with my place! You’ve *never* spent the night here. I just would like to sleep in with you, make you breakfast, not have to concern myself with Sam or Steve dragging you out of bed and leaving me to spend half of my sleep without you anyways.” 

“Well, what about Shadow?” 

You cocked your eyebrow at the annoyingly handsome man before you. “I can literally call Peter or Nat right now to get Shadow. They both love that cat. You literally have no excuse.” 

His hand had already fallen from your cheek, made a soft trail down your arm before resting with his palm up on your knee. “What about clothes? A toothbrush?” 

You began to smile, unable to hide your excitement even at the sheer possibility that he’d give in. “You really think I haven’t stolen enough clothes for you to have a change of clothes here? I even have an unopened toothbrush here because of this moment! I knew I’d get you to crack one day.” 

He grinned back at you, unable to leave a microbreak in your heart again over this silly little fight. “Come here,” he said huskily, using his metal arm to scoop your other leg and place you directly in his lap, “I will stay the night. I was going to lose this fight sooner or later.” 

You giggled, bringing your arms around his neck and routinely tangling your fingers with the longer locks at the bottom of his head. “You know, I’m really glad you’ve come to your senses about it.” You press a soft kiss on his nose and smile brightly at him. 

The rest of the evening was fairly normal. Bucky helped you with the dishes and cleaned the kitchen after dinner-- he even took out the trash and your stomach filled with flutters, enjoying your domestic boyfriend fantasy. 

You got ready for bed first, feeling your cheeks warm while you changed with your back to Bucky. You’ve stripped in front of him countless times but something about the newness of the circumstance made you move sheepishly. You tried to compose yourself as you tossed your day clothes into the hamper and rummaged through your wardrobe, searching for Bucky’s sweats and a white t-shirt. 

You tossed them onto the couch cushion beside him and stared wide eyed as he simply stood up and peeled his clothes off. His eyes caught yours as he kicked off his boots and unbuckled his belt simultaneously. 

“Do you need something, doll?” He chuckled, proceeding to remove his pants, leaving him in his dark boxers and black socks. 

“You,” you responded without even thinking about it. 

His smile spread wide as he finished changing, “You’re so goddamn cute,” he responded. 

Your cheeks blushed red again. You fumbled as you folded the blanket back and slid into bed, pressing yourself all the way against the wall. 

Bucky followed closely behind you, fluffing his pillow and placing it nicely between his ear and shoulder. He laughed at you, pressed up so close to the wall that there was at least a foot of space between the two of you. “Why are you so far away?” 

You brought your shoulders up to your ears, shrugging. 

He made quick work of dragging you back towards the middle of the bed and up against his chest. “Go to sleep,” he said, kissing the space where your hair began. 

You pressed your palm on his chest, pushing yourself off of him enough to look into his eyes. “Do you ever sleep, Buck?” 

His head cocked ever so slightly to the side. “Of course I sleep, darlin. Everyone sleeps, except maybe Vision.” 

You rolled your eyes at his remark, “Shut up, I know that. I just mean, do you sleep well? I don’t know that you’ve ever fallen asleep first.” 

He sighs and takes a moment to wrap both of his arms around your waist, the metal one underneath you, causing your spine to curve ever so slightly. 

“I just have trouble sleeping sometimes, but I do sleep,” he said softly, his nose momentarily brushing against yours. 

You took a moment to contemplate. You had no work the following day-- you actually had nothing to do the following day except play house with Bucky which simply made your stomach churn in such an exciting way. So in just a moment you decided!

“I want to stay up with you.” 

His breath hitched for just a moment. If you weren’t pressed up against him you wouldn’t have even noticed. 

Before he responded you had already opened your mouth again. “I want you to be the one to fall asleep in my arms for once.” 

He smiled widely and u felt his arms curl you in that much closer, “I don’t know that I’ve ever been the one to fall asleep first.” 

“Then I will stay up with you all night,” you whisper against his lips, pressing a soft peck shortly after. 

A chuckle bubbled from deep in his stomach, “I love you, darlin, but that’s really not necessary.” 

You pulled away, allowing your hand to cup his cheek, smoothing over the skin as your eyes darted between his blue eyes, “You’re not going to be able to change my mind this time, James.” 

He grinned, “I would love to stay up with you then.” 

Your determination to stay up with him resulted in the best conversations the two of you have ever had, which was saying a lot considering you were already right up there with Steve in terms of being close to Bucky. 

You talked to one another, pressed up with your fingers fumbling with one another and your legs tangled until the sun came up. 

You talked about how you want kids but sometimes you’re afraid because hearing people say shit like “nobody is ever really ready” does anything but ease your anxieties. He tells you about how he loved being an older sibling and how he would forget to breathe sometimes when he held the youngest in his hands-- he thought she was the most beautiful thing to grace the earth. You squeezed his hand a little harder when he said he wishes he got to be there to see her walk down the aisle at her wedding. 

You both agreed that you would love to adopt a little girl one day, even if you do end up having your own kids. You both agreed that you couldn’t fathom loving a kid any less simply because they don’t share your DNA. He got to gush about how much he loved being a big brother to Steve but how really having someone who was truly there and would never leave was something indescribably worth living for. 

You knew bits and pieces about how family before but it made your stomach fill with butterflies when he talked about his siblings only for your chest to ache when you remembered that you and Steve were all he truly had left. It was nice nonetheless for you to hear him talk about them by name, telling you the biggest thing he remembered about each of them, sharing memories of Coney Island in the summers and getting them ready for school early in the morning. 

You talked about childhood best friends and how you had to learn to cope with the fact that conflict isn’t the only thing that ends friendships. Sometimes distance can take its toll and you know it’s nothing compared to what he’s been through. He kisses your forehead and tells you that you can tell him anything and that none of your feelings are miniscule because they’re yours and everything about you means everything to him. 

The sun starts to shine through your window when he tells you about the time that he got himself and Steve stranded because he spent all his money insisting that he could win this girl a prize at the fair. You tell him that he’s a simp. 

He pulls you closer and leaves a lazy kiss on your collarbone groaning, “Yeah, but only for you,” before really dozing off. 

You whisper his name a few times and get no response and you let the calming wave of sleep crash over you shortly after, a small smile spread across your lips as you do. 

3 Years Later-- 

And you and Bucky live in a little place in Brooklyn, only a few blocks from where he grew up. He’s technically been retired for over a year but sometimes they need him. The past 4 months he’s had an excuse though, seeing as you now have a bun in the oven. 

Since entering your second trimester your sleeping schedule has gone to shit. This seemingly wouldn’t be a problem but through the duration of the past few years Bucky has gotten much better at falling asleep and now he’s almost completely ready to be a father seeing as he falls asleep wherever, whenever he wants. 

You’ve been hiding it for a little over a week or two that you don’t sleep until well after midnight, but one Sunday night he catches you munching on the floor in the kitchen. 

He turns the corner of the hall, rubbing his eye with his metal arm, “Doll? What are you doing awake?” 

“Eating?” You say, with your mouth still kind of full. 

“Hm, let me join you,” he says soft, sitting across from you, his knee softly brushing yours. “How long have you been up?” 

“I never went to sleep,” you admit, shyly. 

He takes the bag of chips from you and lazily shoves a few in his mouth, his eyes still blinking because of the bright kitchen lights. “Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t sleep?” 

You shrug, “I already make you deal with a lot-- and you’re going to be the one staying up in about 5 months time, so I thought it fine to let you sleep.” 

He shook his head softly, handing the chips back to you and taking your soda into his hands, tipping some of it into his mouth. “I want to stay up with you. You think I would ever willingly give up a single moment with you and babydoll?” He questioned. 

You couldn’t help but smile, your heart fluttering every time he referred to your baby as babydoll after years and years of him calling you doll. “Thank you, Buck.” 

“Until the end of the line, baby.” 

“Isn’t that what you say to Steve?” you questioned, your brow cocked. 

“I’ve been awake for 3 minutes, give me a break.” 

#aesthetical-bucky1kchallenge #addy writes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #bf!bucky barnes #i apologize that this is late #also i don't think its wonderful but i hope yall enjoy ANYWAYS! #:D

[bunnykass]

INARIZAKI AS FEELING IVE HAD WITH GUYS IN HIGH SCHOOL

this was supposed to be funny but became very reflective and sorta emotional for me. therapeutic tho😌

TW: mentions of underage n*des, cursing, grammar and spell errors

KITA - the senior in my law class freshman year.

He was country, would wear cowboy boots to class and levi’s (i live in texas). He was a eagle scout. very sweet boy. always brought coffee in those cups to class,and he drove a range rover. i’d share sunflower seeds with him all the time and id make fun of him cause instead of breaking the shell and eating the inside, he’d just eat the shit whole. but like i said he was 18 and I was 14. more of crush we never really did anything, one time though he did argue with me on snapchat about immigration and the annexation of hawaii. He had a brother who was a freshman, and in the beginning of the second seamstress I would flirt with him but again me and never did anything.

OMINI - my freshman english teacher

(tw mentions of sexual assault, grooming, teacher-student relationship)

LMAOO. i had just gotten really into lolita (gross🤮) and so I would literally talk to older guys on the internet (one time i met up with marine even though I was like 15) ANYWAY, so when I started his class i was like damn we about to have a ezra and aria shit. he was super nice to “pretty girls” and “pretty boys” what I mean by that if you weren’t the beauty standard, he was kinda a dick to you. one time he pissed me off though cause he lost a assignment, made me re-do it but only gave me a 70, and i lost interest in him after that. he also accused me of defamation of character because i found his mugshot and was showing everyone.btw he was accused of SEXUAL ASSUALT??? but apparently the mugshot was fake or wasn’t him i don’t remember. he never counted me late or absent tho

ARAN - my best friend

been friends with this kid sense 8th grade. He was in love with this girl though that was leading him on all though out middle school but i really had a crush on him by the time high school started he had gotten over her. when we were freshmen’s he told the whole football team I was a whore cause i wouldn’t send him nudes (i know this sounds bad but i promise it wasn’t plus this was 3-4 years ago) so we didn’t talk to each other till summer going into sophomore year. me and him are still friends and we literally hang out almost every weekend, i love him and he’s loves me. he’s very thing i’d want in a boyfriend but because we’ve been friends for so long doing intimate things with each other like sex seems weird. While we both wish we could be in a relationship we both realstically know it wouldn’t work :(. <3

GINJIMA - my freshmen boyfriend

had fallen in love with me when like school started but like my best friend aran said, i was whoreing’ (not really tho cause i’m still a virgin) so when he asked me to homecoming I was like no. but eventually through out the school year me and him got closer we had like 3 classes together, 2 of them were back to back so we were jus cute like that. my first legit relationship, he was nerdy as hell and the biggest fucking dork. my freshmen year I was what the yt would call a hot cheeto girl and i weighed a lot more back then and he was 6’2-skinny white boy so we fucking looked like glora and melman from madagascar. were like discord moderator and daddy’s kitten shit. he was funny but he was really mean to me and because i was very insecure at the time i lacked setting boundary’s so i’d just take it. he also bought me a roku which i still have today, he was always buying me shit, and i taught him how to take dick pics. he was the first guy that didn’t just like me for my fat tits but i felt like the only way i could keep him around was by oversexualizing myself which ultimate let to him breaking up with me :( honestly no hard feelings though we were both like 15. him an his current girlfriend are so cute, and me and him are cool.

this is a conversation we had a few weeks ago.

SUNA - my yubo boys

my take away from being in highschool is guys do not give a shit about what you look like or how you’re built, unless they’re insecure, and also self-worth. I got on yubo my sophomore year and had it till my junior year. if you don’t know what yubo is its essentially a teen dating app. now i never went to meet these guys irl i have friends who did... and i just want to stay ted bundy would’ve had a field day with these hoes but would engage in online sexting. which ig is illegals cause i was still under 18. at this point in my life i was just so insecure and seeking male validation that i was throwing ass for people over the internet to people i would never meet. this isn’t one person either this is a collective of i don’t even know how many boys. i feel sick thinking about this but i cant take it back and i just have to encourage my sister and potentially future daughters about this.

Miya twins - my tower moments

these two, like the miya twins are very similare but different. I consider them both tower moments because after them two i change completely how i viewed myself and life. if you aren’t familer with tarot the tower card represents sudden and necessary changes usually the situation tends to me negatives and the outcome following is good. these two are also my most recent compared to the other and i’m still dealing with them today which is why i wanted to give a lil intro. idk if yall believe in astrology but those two have gemini in there big 3 and idk i feel like that has a lot to do with our situationship

OSAMU- my theater teachers son

so technically majority of our relationship was middle school but it carried into high school.he was so mean to me up until 8th grade like i said he was my theater teachers son, and he hated her class. at that time his family had so many issues and i think he didn’t have a outlet. my brother had died around the same time so i too was going through shit. while our issues weren’t the same he definitely confined in me a lot and trusted me with so many things, i don’t think a boy/guy ever just laid everything on me like that and it wasn’t in a “be my therapist” kinda way. he fucked up though, we were in musical theater behind the stage in a closet. his mom was just a couple feet away in the audiences teaching class. me and him were talking per usual, and without a warning he put his tongue down in my mouth. and tried putting his hand down my bra. i was so fucking scared i had never been touched like that. it was my first kiss and i didn’t even tell him he could do that to me. i obviously stopped taking to him after that until the summer going into freshman year when we started sending nudes back snd forth. i don’t like to blame people for my problems but i think i began to hyper sexualize myself because of him. when i wouldn’t send him shit he’d block me, ive finally outgrown him as i now my self worth know occasionally i’ll unblock him and hang out with him for fun but it’s nothing serious. he’s stuck on me like tic though and always bring up the fact he kissed me once in 8th grade 🙄

ATSUMU - my “twinflame”

he was a year older then me and i met him on snap chat that should’ve been a red flag. we started by sending nudes but eventually we started to develop feelings however as soon as things got serious he’d pull out. when his relations with other girls wouldn’t work out he’d always come back to me during that time together he’d love bomb me. take me on dates make out with each other in front of hobby lobbies on sunday, my happiness started to depend on if he talked to me or not and this went on forever. by the time quaratine happened he blocked me because he got a girlfriend? idk if that’s why he blocked me but i assumed that eventually he unblocked me because pussy that good. i gave this man so much power over my life that when i took it back i truly learned by self worth. i will never tell this man this but because of all the shit he pulled on me i’m actually confident. i don’t regret meeting him. occasionally he does try to pull his shit on me and i play along with him. i think the reason i can’t let my gemini boys go is because i’m too scared for a relationship but i know that no matter what they’re both their for fun 😌.

#inarizaki #tw #aran ojiro #kita shinsuke #osamu miya #atsumu miya #suna rintarō #ginjima hitoshi #haikyu

[sunsetovergatlon]

My first addition to #nobellweek! And also my first fan fiction ever so... give me some slack.

This is set in the Gallagher Girls Universe, which if you haven't read it it's basically just spy school. Enjoy, reblog, and lmk what you think!

Trouble

Word count: 2,042

Danna had her nose in a textbook on “The French & Arsen” when a knock came at the door. She did not even look up. It was going to be that new girl who was only here because of the family name and Danna did not care for outsiders. Not only did she not like them, she didn’t trust them and trust was the name of the game around here. She still didn’t trust the group of boys that had infiltrated their school… well most of them at least.

Narcissa put the latest disguise she had been perfecting down and looked wareily at the door, but Danna kept her book up. After a moment of awkward silence Ruby came running in from the bathroom with a towel on her head and her shirt on inside out and backwards.

“She’s Here! Guys why didn’t you get the door!” Ruby’s eyes flashed with excitement as she threw open the door.

“Hi No… oh,” Ruby’s cheeks flushed as she tossed the towel on her head off to the side, “Hi Adrian, hi Oscar,” the second ‘hi’ was barely a squeak and Danna could hear Narcissa snickering on the other side of the room.

“Hi Ruby, you look very, um, clean!” Oscar practically shouted in his haste to come up with something to say. For being in the top five percent of an elite spy school, those two were not very good at being subtle. 

Finally Danna put her book down to look at the two boys at the door. Oscar was just as red as Ruby and Adrian was flashing that signature smile of his.

“We came to invite you down for dinner with us! Anyone interested?” Adrian asked, sweeping his gaze around the room.

“I’d love to but,” Narcissa started before Danna cut her off quickly.

“Yes! Yes we would love to!”

Narcissa and Ruby both looked back at Danna with wide eyes but she silenced them both with a glare and in a matter of minutes they were out the door.

Meals at Gallagher Academy were always full of fruits, vegetables, and main courses from around the world. Plus there was a sign above the door that stated what language the table conversation was to be held in. Sundays, however, were a free for all. Language was in english, and the food generally consisted of chicken fingers pizza, and other american favorites. Just hearing Oscar whine and complain all week until sunday dinner was enough to drive any person up the wall, trained spy or not.

Just as they were about to go through the threshold of the cafeteria a loud, intimidating and beautifully feminen voice echoed in the hall around them, “I hope you are having a good time abandoning your new colleague Ms. Bell, Ms. Cronin, and Ms. Tucker.” 

Danna flinched and slowly turned around to face Headmaster Tamaya Rae. Her expression was cold as ice as she took the time to make eye contact with all five of them individually before cutting her eyes over to the girl behind her. 

“This is your new roommate Nova. I’m sure you did your research, so I will leave you to it. Please take her on a tour of the grounds before curfew,” Headmaster Rae said smoothly before turning back to Nova and whispering something inaudible to the rest of them. She nodded and watched as the headmaster walked away. Danna looker with wary eyes as the girl, Nova, finally fully turned to face them. To Danna’s surprise her first thought was not, ‘ew’ or ‘ugh I hate her’, but rather just ‘wow’. Her heart was beating faster than normal as she looked over Nova. She had tan skin and cropped black hair with bangs hanging across her forehead and these blue eyes that just sparkled in the light. She looked like she had been training in martial arts her entire life with a thin waist and toned legs. She was effortlessly beautiful and Danna was… blushing. 

Realizing that she was staring, Danna peeled her eyes away and focused them instead on the line of marble busts on the side of the hall.

Ruby was the first to break the silence running up to hug the short girl, "Nova! It's so nice to finally meet you!"

Danna could see Nova tense up when Ruby threw her arms around her and how her face almost imperceptibly flashed with killer instinct. It was like Nova had never experienced affection before. Finally Ruby peeled herself off of the poor girl and started introducing everyone else who gave a little wave in response, aside from Oscar who bowed.

"Well, I guess an introduction for me isn't really necessary at this point is it?" Nova said, giving a side grin that made Danna's heart do a flip inside her chest. The sensation, however, just made her more upset.

With a huff Danna turned and walked into the cafeteria leaving everyone else to follow. She could hear Adrian, Oscar, and Ruby asking Nova questions and making light conversation behind her and for some reason it made her blood boil. They didn't even know this outsider and all of a sudden she was the most interesting thing since Betty White?

A tap on her shoulder pulled Danna out of her anger filled trance and she whipped her head to the side finding Narcissa walking beside her.

"Are you okay?" She whispered, keeping pace with Danna's wide steps.

"I'm fine," Danna spat back through gritted teeth.

"I really don't think that you are, maybe Nova isn't all bad, you should at least give her a chance."

Danna stopped and turned to face Narcissa. Leaning down close to her ear she growled, "chances are earned, not given," before stalking off towards the salad bar.

There were so many emotions swirling around in Danna's head as she threw tomatoes and carrots onto the bed of lettuce she had hastily thrown into a bowl. How could one interaction with a person cause so much internal dissonance? The fighting emotions only served to stoke the fire in Danna as she slammed the ladle back into the Italian dressing.

She turned to find everyone else already sitting down with plates full of chicken tenders or pizza. Well, Oscar had three plates filled with literally every food in the cafeteria except salad. Begrudgingly Danna sat down directly across from Nova and stared down into her salad, glancing up from time to time to keep tabs on what was happening.

"So, do you have any specialties?" Adrian asked Nova who had just put a spoonful of mashed potatoes in her mouth. 

"Oh, sorry, bad timing," he said, blushing slightly and running his hand across the back of his head.

Nova smiled sheepishly at him and swallowed, "are we suppose to talk about that? Isn't that confidential?"

Ruby laughed, "not here! We all have to know each others strengths to work well as a team."

"And also know who to copy in class!" Oscar chimed in grinning. They all laughed, even Narcissa who had been staying generally neutral.

The light conversation with this outsider made Danna's stomach twist. She knew there was something up with Nova besides her ridiculously flawless skin. She knew it and she was going to find out what it was. 

Danna looked up to see Adrian's hand on Nova's shoulder and the two of them laughing and smiling. The sight caused something inside her to jump. It felt almost like… jealously? No. It couldn't have been. Maybe she was just mistaking her overprotectiveness of Adrian as something else. Either way it didn't matter.

Dinner came to a close and the team took Nova on a tour of the grounds as requested. Oscar and Ruby doing most of the guiding, Adrian adding cute little tidbits and finding every excuse to touch her arm or shoulder, Narcissa happily following along behind throwing out the history of different paintings they passed, and Danna shuffling along at the back scowling and rolling her eyes. Every touch, every smile, every… everything made the knot in her stomach tighten till Danna felt like she was going to explode. Plus Nova kept glance back at her with this look that sent shivers down Danna's spine.

Finally they finished the tour and the boys went off to their side of the dorm while the four girls continued to their room.

As soon as they were inside, Danna stomped off and locked herself in the bathroom. She couldn't take one more second of those piercing blue eyes cutting over to her, or that silky black hair tickling the bottom of Nova's sharp jaw, or watching Adrian place a hand on her toned arms to turn Nova's attention to something else. 

To get her mind off of it all, Danna turned the shower on to the coldest possible setting, tied up her golden deadlocked, and stepped inside. The freezing water on her bare skin made Danna gasp and instinctively wrap her arms around herself, but at least she felt something other than anger. Unfortunately the silence in her mind didn't last long.

Her thoughts were moving at a mile a minute replaying everything that had happened that night, from the moment she saw Nova to the second she had stepped into the bathroom. Danna searched for something, anything, that would give her a lead to what Nova was up to, but the girl just seemed so… average. Well as average as anyone in the Gallagher Academy was.

A sharp knock at the door cut into Danna's quickly spiraling train of thought and she yelled, "what! I'm taking a shower!"

A startlingly strong voice shot back, "I need to brush my teeth!"

"Can't you wait!?"

"No! I'm still on Italian time and I've been exhausted since I got here!"

Italian time? Danna thought and she prepared her next excuse.

"The door is locked and I'm not getting out of the shower for you!"

"The lock is not a problem, can I brush my teeth or do I have to go ask Adrian to use their sink!"

This made Danna's skin crawl. The thought of her going and batting her eyes at Adrian and slinking into their bathroom made her almost sick to her stomach. After a long pause Danna finally let out a sigh, "fine. But it better be quick."

In less that five seconds Danna heard the lock click and the door creak open. What the… that would have taken out top lock picker at least ten seconds, Danna thought as she heard the sink turn on. This was a spy school the locks were not armature. Maybe Nova wasn't just a legacy after all. The two stayed in silence until Nova turned off the water.

"I know you don't like me and I get that, but I hope that I can change your mind someday."

Without thinking, Danna stuck her head out of the curtain, catching Nova's blue eyes in the mirror. She was wearing black shorts and an oversized 'I ♥  Paris' shirt, but the way Nova was looking at her made Danna's words catch in her throat.

"I promise I'm not all bad, if you just give me a chance," Nova said softly as she turned to face Danna.

Finding her voice, Danna forced a scowl onto her face, "chances are earned."

"So, how do I earn one?" Nova asked, stepping closer.

Danna's mouth went dry as Nova advanced on her. The way that just a look from this girl melted Danna's resolve was dangerous. Still trying to find her words, Danna just stared at Nova who had taken another step closer and put her arm up on the wall next to the shower, leaning in close. 

"Well," Nova whispered leaning in closer to Danna and brushing their cheeks in the process, "if you think of anything let me know."

Danna didn't know if she wanted to slam Nova against the wall and kiss her or dislocate her shoulder, but it didn't matter because she was frozen in place. Unable to move, or think, or speak.

Finally, Nova pulled away with a smirk and sauntered out of the bathroom as Danna slammed shut the curtain and sank to the floor, cooling her face in the cold water. In a matter of hours Nova had managed to win over Ruby, Oscar, and Narcissa while also seducing both Adrian and herself.

Whoever this girl was… she was trouble, and yet all Danna could think about was the subtle pink of Nova's lips.

#novaartino #renegages #ruby tucker #oscarsilva #narcissa cronin #dannabell #nobell #novanna #nobellweek #nobell2020 #adrian everhart

[robin-the-enby]

Confusing feelings

Pairing: Abe Sapien x OC

Summary: Abe meets a creature he's only ever read about.

Warnings: Probably very long with grammar mistakes (English is not my first language), a little bit of violence

A/N: I've been thinking about making this into a full book on my Wattpad account. I already have one English book there, so if you're a Moomins fan, go check it out, the name is TheDarkSide019 .

* * * * *

Fridays never really meant anything at BPRD, apart from it being the most chaotic day of the week. I mean, it's not like they didn't have to work at weekends. They did. And that sucked, as Liz said many times.

The last few weeks were pretty calm, nothing big was happening and there wasn't any danger that could wipe out humanity.

That meant Abe, Liz and Hellboy could have more free time.

Liz finally accepted herself as she is and her and Red's relationship has been just great. They were spending most of their free time with the other, doing all sorts of things and going on all sorts of little adventures at BPRD.

Abe didn't have anyone he would be this close with and he definitely didn't want to be a third wheel, even though he thought that if he asked to, Hellboy and Liz would let him hang out with them. Of course, there were some agents that came to the library, which used to be dr. Broom's office, to ask him all kinds of questions, some more interesting than others, but as the kind-hearted soul he was, he answered them all with patience. If he could help, why wouldn't he do so?

But when the agents left, he was all alone once again. Alone. That word tasted bitter on his tongue. However, this alone felt different than how he ever felt before. He was so lonely it was distracting. Soon he couldn't even read books with how distracted he was. So his days were spent in his tank, just quietly thinking about what was it that he lacked.

However he didn't lack anything, it was his soul that was weeping. Every time Abe saw Hellboy with Liz, his soul cried out a little. He was happy for them, he really was, but there was something about the sight that made him feel a wide range of emotions at once. He was confused.

If you're confused, you can just ask someone, he told himself. So he went to the first person he thought could help him understand his feelings a bit more. Liz.

"You're jealous Abe." was the answer he got. It was simple, but genuine and said with care. She wasn't mad in any way, but she didn't see a reason to beat around the bush.

But that's ridicoulus. Abe thought. "What do you mean jealous? I'm not jealous, in fact I am very happy for you two." Liz laughed at his confusion. "You're not jealous of me or Red, Abe. You're jealous of what we have. Maybe you don't realize it, but inside, you want it too. A relationship, I mean." He didn't look much wiser than before and she shook her head a little "Look. I'm not saying I'm right, but from what you've just told me it looks like it. It's normal, everybody sometimes feels like this when they've been single for a long time. Just think about it and if anything, you can talk to me." she reassured him. He nodded and slowly stood up. He only managed to mumble out a 'bye' before slipping through the door. He didn't even notice Hellboy who was coming to see Liz in her room. Red said hi, but he didn't recieve an answer, so deep in thought Abe was. Red turned his head to look at him, then shrugged and entered the room of his beloved girlfriend.

"What's up with Abe?" he then asked Liz and pointed at the door with his thumb like the said man was just behind it. "He's lonely." Liz explained. "What do you mean? He's always been kinda lonely." Red didn't understand. Sometimes Abe would rant to him how he felt a little lonely sometimes, like there was no one that could fully understand him. But he almost immediately after said that he didn't mind and was grateful for everything and everyone he had. "Yeah, but he's that kind of lonely that you were when I left." she said, trying to light up the mood a little. Although, they both knew it was true. "Poor man." Red shook his head and sighed.

Abe immediately went into his tank after arriving in the library. How could one be jealous of a non-materialistic thing? That's ridicoulus. Although, he had to admit, it would be nice to have someone you can hold, trust and rely on, to share all the nice and bad things with and who would hold, trust and rely on him and want to share all those things with him too. Oh, that's how.

The next day his mind was still overloaded with thoughts. In the morning Red stopped by and asked how he was doing and if he wanted to hang out with him and Liz later. Abe politely declined, saying he needs to sort some things out. In my head. he added, but not out loud.

Unknown to him or the other two, who were a little worried about him, things were going to get exciting in just a moment.

Manning recieved a newspaper with a very strange title right on homepage. He was told by the agent who brought the thing, that the local police doesn't know what to do anymore. It was time to call the special agents.

Abe was forcefully pulled out from his thoughts by the library door opening. In came Manning with a few other agents, Liz and Hellboy trailling behind them. When Abe looked at their joined hands, his soul cried out yet again, but now he knew why. It was refreshing and frustrating at the same time, which left him as he was the days prior. Confused.

"What's so important that you have to pull us away from our day off?" Red asked and Manning decided to ignore him, because getting mad would not get him anywhere. "We've recieved an anonymus tip about paranormal activity going on in Scotland. Look at this." he handed Hellboy the newspaper. Red took it from him and looked at the homepage. There, in bold, capital letters was a title: TWO MEN DEAD AT A LOCAL LAKE. ONLY REMAINS FOUND ARE HEARTS AND LIVERS. "That's nice." Red commented. Then he came over to Abe's tank, where Abe was practically glued to the front glass wall, to show it to him. He watched as Abe's eyes scanned the title "What do you think it is pal?"

Abe thought for a while, blinking owlishly once or thrice. Just as they thought he maybe wasn't paying attention, Abe turned to look at them "I don't know. There are lots and lots of water creatures, but I can't recall a single one that doesn't eat a part of their victim."

His interest has been piqued. "A new creature perhaps?" Liz piped up, her gate set on the paper laying now on one of the tables. Manning sighed an annoyed sigh "Great." "Or a one we don't have much information about." Abe said. "Either way, I want you to catch it and bring it back for studying. The details will be given to you later today." "So wait, we're actually going to Scotland?" Liz asked excitedly. "You bet'cha babe." Hellboy smirked and wrapped one arm around her waist.

Abe was excited. Finally something distracted him from his thoughts. Try as he might, he couldn't figure out what creature could've caused this. He tried to narrow it to water beasts from The brittish islands, but that didn't really help, there were still too many options and too little information.

Another thing he didn't really like was how Manning said studying. Oh he was going to keep an eye on that. There will be no harmful experiments on his watch. No cutting, probing, chemical testing, nothing. That just wasn't right and even if he believed Manning was a good man, he knew how he treated those of different species.

They gave the trio all known information. The lake was near a small town that was build for people who worked in a nearby ink factory. It was that type of town where everyone knew each other.

They all left on Sunday evening and by Monday morning they were already there. It was necessary, all citizens will be at work or at school so there will be a near zero percent chance of someone seeing the trio.

The sky was grey as the water that reflected it, gentle breeze making small waves on the water surface. The lake was surrounded by reeds that swayed ever so slightly and rustled quietly. There were a few spots where the reeds had been cut, probably for people who wanted to fish. Strange thing was that there weren't any animals, usually this place would be full of water birds and insects, but here everything seemed dead. It was a little depressing.

Hushed voices of Liz and Hellboy could be heard with the rustling. Liz liked the idea of getting out of BPRD from the beggining and when they arrived, she fell in love with the place. Abe had to admit, the scenery all around them was beautiful. But he could feel that something wasn't right here.

A young agent called out to them to get their attention. He beckoned them over to where he was standing. They came to one of the fishing spots where remains of footsteps were highlighted by the police. "You got anything for us?" Hellboy asked. The agent nervously gulped "Well, you'll need to know what happened, before you start investigating." he said with a shaky voice. "And you know that?" asked Liz. The agent opened the casefile, which wasn't really thick "Well, two victims went to an inn after work. They were fairly tipsy, but didn't come in a vehicle, so the innkeaper let them go. And now this is where it gets interesting. The footsteps lead straight into the water, like they did it from their own will. Bodies were never found, the only remains are their hearts and livers which were thrown in the reeds over there." he pointed to the place where they had been found.

It wasn't much, but at least it was something new. "Thank you for your help." Abe thanked the young man. He then scurried off somewhere without saying anything.

There wasn't really anything to do now, Abe still didn't have enough information to figure out what exactly they were dealing with here. They decided it would be best to look around and hopefully find something new.

"Do we know where this thing could be?" Liz asked. "Well, because the victims were lured into the lake, I think it's safe to assume it lives there." Abe explained, even though he thought she could have figured that out on her own. "Well, if we won't find anything usefull, you're going to have to dive down there." Hellboy said and gestured to the lake with his head. Abe sighed "I know." Although he was excited, they still didn't know anything and he wouldn't like to go there unprepared.

As they were walking, Abe pointed out the lack of animals at this place. "Well, they could be just scared from all the people suddenly showing up." Liz shrugged.

Soon they were on the opposite side of the lake and nothing strange had happened so far. They could see meadows upon meadows everywhere and even those looked empty. There wasn't anything alive, only a horse on one of the meadows. Wait, a horse??

Liz softly gasped "Look, a horse!" and immediately started to go towards it. Red and Abe looked at each other uncertainly, not knowing if it was safe, but they trailed behind her nonetheless. What could a horse possibly do?

The closer they got to it, the worse feeling settled in Abe's gut. Liz was already standing next to it, petting it softly.

It was beautiful. But something felt off. It's fur was white like fresh snow and clean, even though it was standing on a meadow with no fence around it. How was it so clean when it probably didn't belong to anyone? If Abe could frown, he would. The horse was peacfully munching on the grass, until Liz touched it. It lifted it's head up, showing them the deepest dark blue eyes that they've ever seen. They looked almost...hypnotizing.

"Do you think it'd let me ride it?" Liz wondered. She was looking into the horses eyes and her voice sounded quiet and soft, like she was daydreaming. Abe found it strange for the girl to be so enamoured by a simple horse, but it seemed he was the only one.

Hellboy picked up his girlfriend and set her gently on the horses back. She sat there for a while, before trying to run her hands through its mane.

It was as white as the rest of its body, without any knots. "Somebody has gone for a swim, eh?" Liz cooed at the animal. And aparently wet too.

Abe stared at the horse, deep in thought. It didn't belong to anybody, it was beautiful and enchanting. It just encouraged you to ride it. Abe looked at its mane, small droplets still dripping down. If it went into the lake, it must have been before we got here. Wouldn't it be dry now?

It was just encouraging you to ride it. Encouraging....encouraging...luring...

And then it clicked.

"Liz, you need to get down. Now." Abe said, urgency evident in his voice. Hellboy registered it before Liz, who seemed in some sort of dreamy trance, sensing the tone he immediately felt unnerved and went to retrieve his girl.

"Give me your hand babe." he said gently. Liz blinked, suddenly confused. It took her a few seconds to process what did he want her to do, but when she was going to lift her hand, she realized she was stuck.

"Red." she said, her voice quiet "I can't take my hads off it." Hellboy looked confused "What do you mean you can't-"

It happened so suddenly. By now everyone figured that the cteature wasn't a regular horse and could in fact understand everything that had been said. Like a lightning from a clear sky it took off in a fascinating speed. Hellboy cried out his loves name while Abe's breath has been stolen. He finally understood what was going on and Liz was in deep trouble.

At this point both of them were running after the two. But they could never match the speed of the beast. Liz knew she had to do something when she saw where the creature was headed. She tried to concentrate on increasing the heat inside of her, until she burst into blue flames.

The creature let out a pained screech full of agony and fear and if it wasn't going in an unhuman speed before, it sure was now. Abe would later tell that it sounded nothing like a sound horses make. It resembled a human scream, but then times more terrifying.

All the agents looked from their work when they heard the commotion. And all of them jumped to their feet when a horse, that was on fire, ran past and straight into the water.

Liz could feel the water detaching her body from the beast. Even though she couldn't feel it anywhere around her, she still kept herself hot enough to boil it slightly.

Then she felt something grab her arm and pull her upwards. Thinking it was the beast she thrashed as much as she could, but when they broke to the surface and she could hear her boyfriend's shouts to try and calm her down, she stilled almost immediately.

Abe was surprised to see them both covered in some sort of black goo when they got out of the water. He pointed it out and told them it would be best to clean up. They didn't have anything against it and left him alone.

The next twenty minutes were chaotic. Agents ran all around the place, some tending to Liz, some questioning Abe and Red, some taking samples from the weird water and some looking for the Kelpie.

"A Kelpie? What's that?" Hellboy asked. "Well, it is a water creature living mostly in Scotland and Ireland. Because it's so far away from BPRD, we don't know much about it. That's why I couldn't figure it out for so long. However, what we do know is that in water it takes shape of a horse with a finn and on land of a beautiful horse or human." Hellboy grumbled "Well, I'm gonna kill it after they're done getting the information." if it was him it would go after, he wouldn't be surprised. But it dared lay a hoove on his Liz and that's a sin he can't forgive.

About thirty minutes later the trio joined the agents in looking for the Kelpie. They had to split up, which left Abe alone. Not that it was dangerous anymore, the Kelpie would be hurt. Abe was afraid it would die before he'd get his information and he scolded himself for feeling this way.

A few meters from him the reeds rustled and something dragging on the ground could be heard. That must be it. Abe thought. He stealthily crept to the spot and peeked between the reeds. And there it was.

It was a woman. She layed on her side, her back facing Abe. She was naked and covered in the substance from the water. Her back was badly burnt and she sounded exhausted, only shallow breaths and quiet noises of pain leaving her mouth.

He slowly came out of his hiding spot as to not scare her too much, but she was too weak to move. He came around her and saw her face. Without all the goo she'd be very beautiful. He didn't know if it'd be apropriate to calm her, so he just looked at her reasuringly, at least he tried to do so, and called to the nearby agents.

He felt strangely calm knowing the Kelpie was safe with the agents. He once again, couldn't understand his feelings. At least he could go home now.

* * * * *

Please leave a like and/or a comment if you want part two ;)

#abe sapien #abe sapien x reader #abe sapien x oc #hellboy x liz sherman #hellboy #liz sherman #kelpie #BPRD

[oikawasballs]

Mad Dog and Puppy

Hey so it was brought to my attention that people can no longer access the original “Mad Dog and Puppy” English translation post since the OP deleted her account. She’s a friend of mine and she felt bad so she asked if I could repost it, so here y’all go:

From Haikyuu!! Light Novel 6, Chapter “Mad Dog and Puppy” written by Kiyoko Hoshi with illustrations by Haruichi Furudate.

One fine holiday in fall, there was a man standing in a convenience store nearby Aoba Jousai High School. The guy, wearing a volleyball jersey, walked out as the opening and closing door made an electronic sound. The man’s name is Kyoutani Kentarou, a second-year member in Aoba Jousai High’s volleyball club.

Kyoutani tore the wrapping of the chicken—chicken is his favorite food—that he took out of the convenience store bag before sinking his teeth into it, making an audible noise; this was how he walked toward school. The volleyball club took Mondays off. Practice starts morning today, which is a Sunday.

Kyoutani had not attended the club for quite a while since the middle of his first year due to various circumstances, though he has been recently thrown into the spotlight for coming back after being recalled by Oikawa, the team captain.

At the preliminary round of the Inter-High Miyagi Finals in June, Aoba Jousai suffered defeat at the hands of Shiratorizawa Academy, the invincible champions. It was necessary to regroup and reorganize the currently completed team in order to clear themselves of the disgrace come the next Spring High School competition, move on from second place and aim for the Nationals. What they wanted to strengthen in particular was their offense. The fighting strength that served to be the trigger of that was Kyoutani, whom Oikawa jokingly called “Mad Dog.”

**********

For Kyoutani, club activities are frankly troublesome; everyone in the club is annoying and he wished they would stop calling him Mad Dog or anything for that matter. Though he tries not to care about that too much, as long as he gets to keep playing volleyball. 

While there was a common agreement for the time being among the manager, coaches, the captain and other third-year members on what to do about him, at any rate, Kyoutani‘s fellow second-years had more complex considerations. They, who had been practicing everyday since he left, felt they’d been working hard only to be sidelined by Kyoutani who just came back as if nothing happened when they thought he already quit.

That same Kyoutani also did not seem keen to a change of heart just because he came back, his attitude still as bad as his manner of speaking. And while they thought things would turn out fine if Kyoutani thoroughly practiced at the very least, he would often still come late to practice.

In the third gymnasium where the volleyball club is gathered, Yahaba Shigeru, a second-year back-up setter, clicked his tongue silently as he glared at the clock on the wall.

**********

Kyoutani was noisily eating his chicken while walking down the road when his mouth came to a stop. His feet, hurrying as he thinks he’s running late, stop at the same time. He noticed a small cardboard box placed at the middle of a gaping-wide, empty plot of land—basically like a missing tooth—in the residential area along the street he uses everyday to go to school.

“…?”

The empty lot was covered in tall grass, and it didn’t seem like it had only been there since yesterday or today. But Kyoutani had never noticed this area. That it had suddenly caught his attention must have been because of the cardboard box. The cardboard box from an online shopping website that could often be seen here and there did not appear to have been trampled upon or crushed nor did it appear to have been drenched in rain and lost its shape; it was properly, squarely propped up and brand new, which made it unnatural, and it was almost like a poorly constructed trap.

Regardless, Kyoutani came up and stepped into the thicket quickly without hesitation and peeked inside the box.

“…Fur?”

A light-brown furball that is around two sizes smaller than a volleyball is inside wrapped in an old towel. As soon as he tried to crouch and touch it, two wet, small, black eyes appeared from inside the round ball. Kyoutani, surprised, pulled back his stretched-out hand.

“It has eyes!”

Inside the box, the furball opened its red mouth and made a vague sound. That is when Kyoutani finally realized.

“A dog.”

What was inside the cardboard box seemed to be an abandoned puppy. It’s very small and frail, and it doesn’t have a collar on. That said, a lot of dogs walk in that area, so it’s not an unusual sight at all. Kyoutani, concerned he was going to be late, resolved to leave the place immediately.

However, the puppy clambered up the box making it tumble and fall to the ground and followed Kyoutani as it cried. It turned back but cried helplessly with its small tail waving back and forth.

“… Meat.”

Kyoutani noticed that it was following because of the chicken he was holding, so he threw the last of it into his mouth in one go, noisily chewed and then drank water. He then folded up the paper wrapping, pocketing it and immediately walked out of the lot.

It is a dog after all. It only tried to follow me because I had food, that‘s all. Thinking that, he headed to school without looking back. He would get a scolding if he arrived late, so it was for his sake that he rush and ignore some dog.

Walking at a quick pace, Kyoutani slowly sulked. A rush of memories came and went and he suddenly felt bad.

He expected to be made to come back by Oikawa, the team captain, but the unsettling part was having to hear complaints from other members for such a small matter as if he was the only one who had been causing trouble all the time. He even thinks to himself of quitting this shitty club on the spot if he so ever hears someone self-importantly explain to him that volleyball is about team play while lecturing him. Thinking that, he even became angry at himself for staying with the club for these past months without quitting. The wave of exhaustion that had slowly been building over him was starting to crash. There probably really wasn’t much of an excuse for losing his shit on people, but he realized that his desire to start yelling and acting like a completely impatient prick was really only a desire to let out his exhaustion, frustrations, and confusion.

He’s never told anyone that and never will. He thinks, just maybe, that they wouldn’t understand.

“…”

Club activities are annoying, and the fact that the cuff of his jersey keeps brushing against his ankles whenever he takes a step is annoying too. The grass in the empty lot might have been wet with the morning dew. He thought of that as he looked at his foot. And when he did, he realized he was about to step on a black-ish shadow or something, so he stopped in panic as if a piece of trash had landed in front of him.

However, before his feet was no trash but the puppy earlier looking up at Kyoutani.

It made a sound.

“The dog.”

Why is it still following him when he has no food anymore? Does he still have the scent of meat? Without realizing, he tried to take a sniff of his jersey, but he’s not sure. Kyoutani furrows his eyebrows and glared at the puppy silently. However, the puppy, probably because it was still small and untrained or because animals cannot precisely comprehend human emotions, coiled around Kyoutani’s feet and cried.

“…You’re in my way.”

That is what he said, but of course his words remain undecipherable to the puppy, who bites Kyoutani’s pants while tumbling and crying; it is enjoying the moment, even letting its tongue out.

“…”

He strangely became irritated while looking at that innocent furball. “Becoming attached to anyone and starting to beg food from them is probably what you do. You probably go around stealing people’s convenience store chicken knowing they couldn’t possibly resist a small creature like you, but that’s where you’re wrong,” he said.

Okay, maybe he had been a little harsh. Or maybe a lot. 

But having accepted the puppy wouldn’t understand anything he was saying, Kyoutani left the poor dog and ran away. He has to go to the club anyway.

He thinks he can hear its helpless voice from behind him, but he ignores it and continues running.

Yahaba would probably see this as some kind of sarcastic mockery, wouldn’t he? Well, of course he would. 

This whole thing is stupid.

Kyoutani thought it was ridiculous to be running then when he was already late anyway, but he continued to sprint toward school, never slowing his pace.

This day is going to suck.

**********

“You’re late. Are you actually serious about this?”

As soon as he arrived at the gym and removed his jacket came Yahaba’s jeering. Kyoutani, ignoring him—though he does momentarily get upset about it—joins for spiking practice. He did arrive late, and he has no choice but to explain to them that it is a dog’s fault. He’s watching Yahaba while he speaks, can’t even explain to himself why, because he shouldn’t care, but he does. Regardless, the benchwarmer didn’t mind telling him things as they are.

While Yahaba has been grumbling his discontent even after Kyoutani had silently fallen in line, he finally shuts up when his fellow second-year Watari glares at him. Oikawa, the captain, who had been looking at what Yahaba had been doing from across the net, also kept calmly focused on his own practice. This degree of dispute had not been a rare occurrence since Kyoutani’s return, but it was better compared to last year’s. Things were grimmer that time to the point that Kyoutani would ditch club activities. He supposes it’s better now since he hasn’t quit yet.

The gym’s atmosphere returns to normal and practice restarts after having momentarily paused. Yahaba and Oikawa stand on either side of the net, and they go and toss to the spikers who enter the court taking turns. Next is Kyoutani’s turn. He throws the ball to Yahaba, the setter, and runs. The toss was made. He steps in looking at the ball, jumps and hits it.

Before that, everyone else made impeccable spikes that no one could complain about. However, Kyoutani hits the ball taking advantage of his weight and power, but upon landing, bumps into Yahaba while bearing that excessive force on his way down.

“Ow! Why would you bump into me?! Watch where you’re going! You came late and still have the guts to do that?”

Kyoutani also grows angry as Yahaba complained, his hands on the floor.

“What does my being late have to do with bumping into you?”

“Whatever! I’ve had enough of your excuses. I’m just telling you to take things seriously!”

That caused Kyoutani to hesitate. He had expected Yahaba to supply his reasons for him, so he could just deny everything while watching the results.

He gets up heavily and looks down at Yahaba, who is still on the ground, and says:

“Aren’t you the one who should be taking things seriously?” Even to himself, Kyoutani knows his voice sounds way too harsh, but he can’t help it, and he can’t explain it, and he won’t even try.

Yahaba’s eyes fix instantly in that furious way that Kyoutani tiredly decides he’s never going to live down. “What did you say?!”

Kyoutani takes a deep breath. He can’t talk about this, he’s barely holding his shit together. “…I’m going home.” And that sounded so pathetic he’s almost ashamed of himself.

“Huh?!”

Yahaba, his eyes wide upon hearing Kyoutani’s quite selfish remarks, didn’t try to stop him. “We don’t need Kyoutani in the team. We can win without him. We’d be better off without him,”  he thought.

The club members were dumbfounded. Kyoutani who had just arrived left the gym alone.

**********

The winds of fall felt awfully cold as if in connection with him leaving the hot, stuffy gym. Kyoutani returned to the path he had dejectedly come from.

He came to play volleyball, yet he couldn’t do a single decent spike. He was so frustrated, asking himself how it had come to this point he almost wanted to scream. Club activities were troublesome, and all the club members were annoying. Come to think of it, it doesn’t matter if it were a team composed of hard-working individuals or even if it weren’t a school club at all as long as he can play volleyball. There are a lot of teams everywhere. Volleyball isn’t something people cannot do if they aren’t wearing the Seijou uniform.

At that moment, Kyoutani heard some crunching sounds in his pocket. It’s the paper wrapping of the convenience store chicken. He took notice of it at once and wanted to quickly throw it away, thinking of it as a huge bother due to his frustration. He thought of going back to the convenience store when he realized upon raising his head that he was all of a sudden back in front of the empty lot earlier.

“…”

It felt like a premonition of a mildly uneasy event to come. However, without even giving him time to escape, the thicket rustled, revealing a dark reddish-brown furball that tumbled out.

It makes a sound.

“…It’s you again.”

The puppy coils around the cuff of his jersey pants as if it remembers Kyoutani or it remembers the smell of the convenience store chicken. Why is that? Why is it so attached to him? He never gave it food, yet why? Kyoutani was struck with questions. But he immediately stopped thinking about it, and at that moment thought of once again running away to another direction.

“What is it with you? You could be playing with other dogs, you know?”

Oh hell no. Not now.

He turns too fast, knows he does, stumbles and feels like an idiot, but who the hell could blame him? Yahaba is feet away, wearing the same Seijou jersey uniform. He stands with seeming unease, glaring at Kyoutani, his gaze fixed on him like a spotlight of pure, unrelenting interrogation.

“You came back to us after being asked, and now you’re playing with a dog?” His voice is so off-hand that Kyoutani can’t read it. That makes him nervous.

However, Yahaba seemed surprised when he noticed the cardboard box sitting there.

“Oh, is that an abandoned dog?”

Kyoutani sulkily nods as the puppy remained coiled around him.

Yahaba raises his voice for some reason. “Are you going to take in an abandoned dog or something?” There’s all this shock and excitement in his voice that would be funny as hell if it were, oh, any other time and any other day. “This ain’t no shoujo manga, you know! For goodness sake, stop fucking with me! For all I know, you could be planning something awful!”

What the hell is he talking about? Goddammit. “Fuck off, Yahaba. Damn, you’re so fucking crazy. Just leave me alone!”

Kyoutani thinks it may say something about their relationship that Yahaba doesn’t even blink.

“But what are you really doing here, Kyoutani? I don’t buy that you left practice just to play adorable puppy finder, though that’s what I’m going to tell anyone that asks, just so you know.”

Annoying little shit.

For his part, Yahaba had never liked the careless and conceited way Kyoutani behaved since he joined the club in their first year. Or rather than not liking him, it was annoying that Kyoutani kept causing trouble with their senpais despite the two of them belonging in the same year. Kyoutani would yell “fucking shits” to their third-year seniors and just generally go around not giving a fuck like he had no common sense. You’d think he’d been living his whole life so senselessly.

But indeed Kyoutani was amazing. It was frustrating but he was incredible and had no equal among their grade. They had him join practice matches, and was also a regular first-year player in official games. That’s why it was frustrating, since the same people also expected something out of him. Yet that guy…he was amazing yet picked fights with their senpais and was hated by them in return. He would take on challenges he could not win; it was as if he didn’t care about anything at all. People were honestly relieved when he stopped showing up to club activities.

But even Yahaba could not vocalize any complaints when Kyoutani was called back by Oikawa. They treated him like some hotshot rookie despite him being gone the whole time. Even worse, he barely came to practice making people wonder why he even came back at the first place, though he still played as amazingly. He was really a frustrating fellow.

Irritated by the memory, Yahaba watched Kyoutani standing before him. He silently glared at the dog biting and pulling at the cuff of his teammate’s jersey.

With his back turned, Kyoutani thinks he can actually hear Yahaba grinding his teeth.

“Why the hell did you even show up late just to leave on your own and then bother some abandoned dog?”

“I‘m not bothering it! This dog just followed me by himself!”

“Are you trying to appeal to girls by telling them animals like you?”

“What the fuck?!”

They just keep exchanging words like that, and while they do so, the puppy tumbles around Kyoutani’s shoes and seems to be falling asleep.

Yahaba continues, dropping his voice to convey how very, very serious this discussion suddenly is. “You know that dog is going to be trouble, right? We have to make sure it’s taken somewhere farther from here.”

Kyoutani searches for the right response. Play dumb? Look shocked? Throw a fit? Or…“Huh?”

“I think I have an idea.”

“Does it involve leaving?”

Yahaba grins at him now like he’s the funniest thing ever. Then he laughs. It’s an odd, almost foreign sound–he hasn’t heard Yahaba laugh in way too long, and it’s edgeless, and it’s amused as hell, and it’s just Yahaba all over again. And through all this, Kyoutani tries not to pay attention to how weird this whole thing makes him feel. “Sort of.”

Kyoutani raises his brows at that statement. “I really, really don’t like how you said that.”

“Jeez, stop glaring! And anyway, as if I’m going to believe you. You senseless moron. I wouldn’t even be surprised if you ate that dog alive.”

Kyoutani decides to ignore that, not sure why Yahaba seems determined to piss him off. Bastard.

Yahaba continued mumbling and then held up the puppy that had fallen asleep atop Kyoutani’s shoes. “This puppy needs to eat. You think you can get some dog food?”

“Sure, I can pull them out of my ass,” Kyoutani snapped. 

Yahaba snorts his opinion of that one, then he looks up, studying Kyoutani’s face. Kyoutani doesn’t dare move. One wrong move and he won’t be able to breathe. Yahaba does that to him sometimes.  

Yahaba relaxes then. Whatever he saw, or didn’t see, in Kyoutani’s face seems to satisfy him. He then puts the puppy back inside the cardboard box, holds the thing up to his chest and urges the other boy, “Hey, we’re going.” He doesn’t even know why he’s saying this. He’s not seriously thinking of–he just isn’t.

“…Huh. Where?”

Kyoutani grew flustered. Where on earth could they be going with a dog in hand? At any rate, Yahaba didn’t seem to have any idea where to go either.

“For the meantime, how about the police? They might tell us at least where to bring it. Anyway, you carry it since you found it in the first place. I don’t want to get bitten. Hey.“

Yahaba’s eyes flicker down, fixing on Kyoutani with that disturbing team-radar that he seems to have tuned on him at some point.

Kyoutani takes a slow, deep breath, clearing his head. Thinking this through will mean he’ll screw it up. That’s what always happens when he overthinks something. It’s what happens when anyone overthinks something. Do it or don’t, but don’t sit on your ass–or stand in the middle of an empty lot–and try to think about it.

“Fine. I think you’re out of your mind, but fine.” The grumbly undertones hide the worry.

“Great,” Yahaba answers with a spastic nod, and the tiny fluff of hair at the top of his head jerks around hypnotically. Kyoutani realizes it’s almost impossible to look away.  "Let’s go then, Mad Dog-chan.“

Kyoutani gives him a narrow look and makes a bitterly amused sound. "I hate that.”

“You never told us before,” Yahaba actually looks concerned.

“Nobody asked.”

“I mean, I remember you telling Oikawa-san to stop calling you weird names, but I don’t think anyone’s realized that you actually hate it.”

“What a fucking surprise,” Kyoutani sneers.

Flexing his fingers, he takes a breath and lets it out like he was taught. Easy and slow. It’s been worse. Other people have done and said worse. At least, he thinks so. “Whatever. Call me anything you want, just tell me where the fuck we’re going.”

Yahaba pauses, looks at him seriously. And though they’re standing right in front of each other, the look in his eyes says he may as well be a thousand miles away. “I guess we have a lot to talk about, Kyoutani.”

Are you lying to me, Yahaba? “Any reason why?”

Yahaba drops his head to contemplate his outstretched foot. “I’m bored?”

“Try again.”

“Because you apparently want people to ask you stuff? And I think that’s cool. I can think of a lot of things to start with.”

Kyoutani bites back something snarky and unkind, swallowing a lump in his throat and wondering if he could possibly be any more annoyed than he is right now. But whatever. It’s never comfortable to remember their earlier spats, and if this could make things a little better, then what the hell. Besides, he just isn’t up to any more arguing today. He shrugs his shoulders. “You ever tell anyone anything, I’ll deny it.”

Inside the box they’d been pushing back and forth to each other comfortably slept the lumpy, small ball of fur. Its breathing was surprisingly fast, faster than when it was coiled around Kyoutani’s feet, as if to show evidence that it was a living thing.

**********

Somehow—and Kyoutani has no idea how, never will, doesn’t even care—Kyoutani and Yahaba walked the road side by side carrying the cardboard box. Both of them were completely silent, though they sometimes peeked inside when the dog moved or made a sound. And when their eyes accidentally meet, they would turn away and awkwardly face somewhere else. This happened many times over, uncomfortable enough for them, until Yahaba who was then lightly carrying the box finally said, “Having a dog inside an online shopping website’s cardboard box feels almost like you got a dog delivered to you, doesn’t it?”

“…”

Yahaba, a bit embarrassed that Kyoutani only continued walking without giving any response, snapped. “Hey, you’re supposed to say something in return when someone talks to you. What sort of reaction was that?”

“…You’re boring.”

“You’re the last person I want to hear that from! And just so you know, when the senpais are proved right and we actually end up becoming friends in the future, you’re going to feel so dumb for ignoring me.”

Kyoutani makes a weird sound right next to him. Like he’s choking to death, though he can still walk okay, so Yahaba’s not too worried.

“Oh, there’s the police box! Let’s go.”

The two entered while carrying the box. A young police officer is seated on a chair writing something, and he looks at their faces. The police box was small to the point that nobody could fit anymore after the two went in; it had posters about remittance fraud and traffic safety, leaflets about wanted criminals and maps of the neighborhood pasted all over. The police officer examines the insides of the box without a word after taking a peek at them as if suspecting Kyoutani’s bad expression.

“Whose dog is this?”

However, Kyoutani just says vague statements like, “It went after my convenience store chicken,” and “I came from practice.” Yahaba had no choice but to answer from the side.

“Um, it’s an abandoned dog, so we’d like to ask what we should do with it.”

“Doesn’t it have a collar?”

“It’s still small, and it was in this box wrapped in a towel. I think it was thrown away.”

“You picked it up?”

Yahaba shook his head upon being asked by the police officer. “This guy did,” he said as he turned his eyes to Kyoutani, who was just staring straight ahead, like he had nothing to do with this conversation at all.

“You there,” the police officer said nodding his head. He took out documents from a drawer and looked at Kyoutani. “It will be received here at the police box as quasi-lost property, but will you care for it in case the owner did throw it away or the owner doesn’t appear?”

“…Huh?”

Kyoutani was surprised and then looked at Yahaba as if asking for help. However, Yahaba just shrugged. The police officer looked at the two and started explaining, as if he had been repeating a set phrase he had gotten used to saying often, with a gentle nod.

“Ah, in case the owner does not appear, it will be moved to a health center after a few days, but there it will be temporarily …”

Despite him just having started speaking, Kyoutani suddenly slams the desk. The color of the police officer’s eyes changed, but Kyoutani yelled without regard.

“What crap is that? We’re asking you where to bring it so we can have someone take care of it! That’s what I want to hear about!”

“Just wait, you idiot!”

Shaking off Yahaba’s effort to stop him, Kyoutani glared at the police officer. “We don’t need your help anymore!!”

Having said that over his shoulder, Kyoutani rushed out of the police box carrying the cardboard box, the puppy poking its face out of it. Yahaba was left alone in the police box, bowing his head saying, “I’m sorry. That guy’s an idiot,” as an excuse and followed Kyoutani who had run off to somewhere.

Upon finding Kyoutani who was standing a little far away all the while holding the box, Yahaba ran to follow him without pause.

“What the hell was that back there?! You do understand you’re not helping, right?! Though I was surprised too when he told us to bring it to a health center…”

“I know he was surprised, but would a person normally suddenly yell like that? You would have to be crazy to yell at the police, right? Was that occasion not more appropriate to just look annoyed, get out without a scene and ask for help? What was the point of coming all the way here only for you to get mad?” thought Yahaba, but he didn’t feel Kyoutani would comprehend it even if he said it. The newborn puppy seems more likely to understand than Kyoutani. Even now, Kyoutani continues to silently glare at Yahaba’s feet, making Yahaba wonder what it could be that has piqued his interest. The dog inside the box was staring at Kyoutani’s face with its wet eyes.

While it was looking at them, Yahaba found himself suddenly thinking of many different trivial things:

“This guy doesn’t really have a clue. Fine, let’s go to the police, he said. They’ll help us. Or not. I don’t understand why this dog is ignoring me, why it’s so attached only to this jerk.”

"Stop deciding things on your own. I really don’t understand you.”

Just as Yahaba said that, Kyoutani quickly turned on his heel without even nodding at Yahaba and walked toward town, still carrying the box. "I’m trying to help, asshole.”

Is this guy serious?

“Wow, you’re really something else,” Yahaba thought with a slight sense of admiration. Moving his brows as if to ask where they’re headed to, Kyoutani just ignores him and goes to walk steadily alone. A helpless cry can sometimes be heard making a sound.

While gazing at the distance with Kyoutani’s back getting smaller and smaller, Yahaba tells himself: “This is good for now. The mad dog and an abandoned dog—that’s just too much for me, and surely this task would be too much for anyone, too. Anyway, he’s not a kid anymore, and he’ll probably figure it all out by himself. And even if he doesn’t, that wouldn’t be my fault.”

However, Yahaba felt his mood grow heavy and clouded. Something is pulling him into action, like small fishbones poking the insides of his throat. In his mind’s eye, he can see Kyoutani looking at him absently, and Yahaba hates that look on his face: stubbornness warring with an unhappiness so deep he can feel it from here.

“Oh, this is bad.”

There’s no reason why he should, why he should want to do this. None at all.

He eventually accepts it.

“Wait for me, for fuck’s sake! The senpais will get mad at me if I don’t come back with you!” 

In the end, Yahaba chases Kyoutani and the puppy.

**********

Beyond the police box is a main road that gets a lot of pedestrian traffic. Yahaba stopped and turned to Kyoutani and the puppy. “Okay, listen to me before you decide to get stubborn. With how things have turned out, it’d be best to entrust this to someone we can trust.”

However, Kyoutani only glares at Yahaba, his expression betraying his disagreement.

“…”

“What’s that look for? I mean, can you take care of this? Or do you actually want to go back to the police?”

Kyoutani was exasperated as he averted his eyes; the puppy stretches its body from the box and licks his chin. Kyoutani puckers his face and half-heartedly returns the puppy inside the box as he was tickled by its fur. Yahaba tried not to pay attention to the cute interaction.

“Neither of us can take care of it. And since that’s the case, we’ve got no choice. Surely kind-looking people love dogs. A kind little girl and a puppy—that’s the best-case scenario, right? It should be totally better visually than you and a puppy, shouldn’t it? Right?”

While he didn’t really understand why the person they would hand the dog over to had to be a girl, that scenario was indeed better. If they can’t take care of it themselves, there’s no choice but to find another person who can. Kyoutani reluctantly agrees.

“Fine, let’s find one.”

Yahaba hadn’t even realized he wasn’t breathing until it escapes in a soft sigh. Okay, that’s done. He immediately looked around their surroundings. It’s still early in the morning, and naturally his eyes would land upon a person who is out to walk their dog. Among these persons who already have a dog, there should be at least one of them who would not mind taking in another one, he thought.

He tries approaching a few people, but none of them would take in a puppy. While he thought taking care of one or taking care of two made no difference and took the same amount of time and effort, it was probably not so. Is there no one who would willingly accept a dog and just think of it as the little brother or sister of the dog they already own?

When the two grew tired, the puppy who had been quiet inside the box all that time suddenly made a shrilling bark.

“Woof, woof, woof!”

The two looked at the distance thinking it was barking at the appearance of its original owner. But the person immediately averted his eyes and looked at the ground.

The person that was there was a poorly built man who didn’t quite fit the morning atmosphere. Yahaba, his eyes not particularly looking at anything, tells Kyoutani with a small voice, “Hey, make it shut up. Do something, Kyoutani,” imploring him to make it quiet, though the puppy didn’t seem to care and continued to bark. After a while, the man seemed to have noticed that it was him being relentlessly barked at by the dog.

“Hey, what is it?”

The man slowly comes close. The way he’s looking at them is threatening. The way Kyoutani was looking back at him is also threatening, but it is a wholly different notch higher. The dog continues to bark even more. This is bad, and it’s getting worse, thought Yahaba who decided to just let this misunderstanding come to pass. Just as when he had convinced himself that it was best not to say anything unnecessary, to fake a smile and avoid making trouble and to slowly move on without provoking anyone, Kyoutani suddenly dashed out toward the man barking like a dog.

“Who’re you? We’re not doing anything! What are you looking at?!!”

“…!?”

Yahaba promptly pulls the mad dog back and ran away. He can hear someone yelling, “You want a piece of me, brats!?” But it was preferable for school sports club members to just run away. Yahaba yells while running for his life:

“Why would you go pick a fight with someone like that?! Look at your opponent!”

“Shut up!”

“Huh!?”

He continues to run regretting not escaping alone and deserting this idiot and his idiot dog. Yahaba finally came to a stop thinking they’d be fine by then having come from several blocks away at that point.

“Fucking hell.”

He clicks his tongue looking at Kyoutani beside him with the cardboard box in his hands not even looking tired at the very least despite running out of breath, at least compared to himself who is breathing with his shoulders. It really angers him.

“Why did you fucking come back…” Yahaba told him and looked at the distance as if unable to endure any further. Suddenly, the color of his eyes sharply changes. Yahaba combs his hair with his hands, steals the cardboard box from Kyoutani uttering, “Sorry!” before running off. Kyoutani chases him, the hardest chase he gave in his whole life.

In the end, what Yahaba was chasing after all was a group of high school girls in uniform.

“Girls! What do you think? Would you care to look at a puppy? A puppy!”

The girls variously reacted with caution at first: “Eh?”, “Is this for filming or something?”, “Does it bite?” But they timidly looked inside the box, likely enchanted by Yahaba’s gentleness. They then shriek out of joy upon noticing a puppy curled up into a ball inside.

“Eh, is this really a dog? Oh no, it’s so cute. Look, look!”

“What’s this? Is this a real dog, like does it really move? Why is it inside a box? You’re doing this to record our reactions, aren’t you?”

“What dog is this? It’s so fluffy.”

“Isn’t this a Shiba? Shiba Inu. Right? Did I guess correctly?”

One of the girls who came forward and said that blushed with a hiccup. Her eyes were fixed onto the face beside Yahaba’s. That prompted him to look at the space next to him, and there was Kyoutani glaring at the girls, his eyes brimming with bloodlust.

The other girls also notice Kyoutani’s stare and find themselves frozen.

“Hey, what are you doing?!”

It was too late, however, and the girls let out a high-pitched scream and ended up running away. Yahaba loses his patience and violently gets mad.

“Stop glaring! One of them could have taken this dog! We had good communication, and you were staring at them as if you wanted to turn them into stone! What was that all about? Are you some kind of Medusa!?”

Kyoutani steals the box and the dog back from Yahaba and snaps back. “Do you have some ulterior motive?!”

“I don’t! I mean, I did but that’s got nothing to do with what happened just now!”

“You never have no ulterior motives.”

The puppy also cries as if to add to the tension.

“Are you a total idiot!?”

A car pulled over next to the two boys who had been arguing at the middle of the road. They immediately kept their mouths silent, then a woman revealed her face from the driver’s seat and spoke. Her words were beyond anything the two could have possibly expected.

“Excuse me. You don’t really want to throw that dog away, do you?”

Noticing that Kyoutani is instantly growing into a frenzy upon hearing that sentence, Yahaba stops him saying, “Just wait!” What is up with him? Is he some kind of feral child? Is he less evolved than a dog?

The woman gets off the car and speaks to them while Yahaba calmed Kyoutani down.

“Do you know what would happen if you threw that dog away? Even if you leave it to an animal shelter, there is no guarantee that its owner would be found.”

“It’s not like we don’t know that already!” Kyoutani barks as if ready to bite, while the woman asked with mild bewilderment, “Eh, then why are you …”

“You shut up already,” Yahaba seethes and commands Kyoutani to keep quiet before he told her the actual story of how they picked up an abandoned dog and how they were then trying to find a new owner. Upon hearing their and the dog’s bizarre adventure, the woman apologizes saying, “I’m sorry. It seems I misunderstood the situation,” then she struck the hood of the car she had been riding.

“But it’s a good thing I called you out. I’m going to look for its owner myself.”

“… Eh?”

Kyoutani and Yahaba looked at her blankly and observed the car she’s been riding in more carefully. The hood of that roundish car had drawings of dogs and cats, written on it was the name of a veterinary hospital.

“Veterinary hospital…?”

The woman worked at a veterinary hospital and she explained that she can find an owner by coordinating with organizations that help abandoned dogs and cats.

“Our hospitals also have fliers recruiting people who want to own pets.”

Upon saying that, the woman took the box where the puppy was in from Kyoutani. The puppy whined and licked Kyoutani’s hand when his hands let go of the box.

“I will contact you when we find an owner.”

She places the box on the rear passenger seat saying that and closes the door. Then they could see the dog through the glass but couldn’t hear its cries.

The woman hopped into the driver’s seat and immediately drove off. Yahaba bowed at its rear window, but Kyoutani just stood there stiffly as if feeling uneasy.

The car was soon out of sight, and the puppy issue ended an instant too soon. The two of them quarrelling just earlier then felt like a dream. But it was not a dream; it was real. And speaking of reality, they must go back to the club soon. Yahaba turned to Kyoutani who was standing beside him. “Hey, look. The dog’s gone now, and we have to go soon.”

“…”

Kyoutani glared at Yahaba as if sulking. And he kept at it. But Yahaba understood how Kyoutani felt. It was a strange feeling, as if a hole had been punched through his heart, or as if a feeling could not linger because of how fast reality had unfolded. But they can’t afford to slack off here, either.

“Everyone’s waiting. You caused some trouble for the senpais, and it wasn’t something you should have shown to our juniors, either. Just realize that you have teammates who are waiting for you just like that dog has friends waiting for him, too. I think it was cute that you immediately tried to search for a rightful owner and it got attached to you. It’s so unlike you.”

Yahaba continued watching Kyoutani who was staring intently at his shoes like a sulking child. Yahaba felt stupid for feeling frustrated earlier somehow.

Why did I have to tell a jerk like him words like that? He came in late and left by himself. He picked up an abandoned dog on his own and caused trouble for me. And now he’s sulking that the dog is gone. I’m honestly glad when he doesn’t show up to practice, yet why did I bother following him to bring him back with me…

Yahaba fell into silence as Kyoutani raised his head. And then he said, “Let‘s go. Quick.”

Then he immediately walked forward alone.

“Huh?! Oi, wait for me! I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying that!”

“You smell of dog.”

“You smell worse!!”

**********

The two walked up the school path, alternating between silence and bickering. Neither of them talked about the puppy. They probably will never talk about that dog going forward, Yahaba thought.

Soon enough, they were at school. Just as when Yahaba thought of suggesting that they explain to the senpais why they were late, he heard a feeble cry from somewhere. He looked around expecting something bad about to happen, when they noticed they were back at the empty lot where they had picked the dog up.

“Here…”

The thicket brushes against their feet. Without them realizing, they stopped and explored the area before a kitten revealed its face amid the grass.

It meowed.

“It’s a cat.”

“Hey, don’t look at it. Act like you didn’t see it!”

So said Yahaba as he pulled Kyoutani away. Yet the kitten helplessly climbed up Kyoutani’s jersey using its claws, and before he knew it the kitten was perched atop Kyoutani’s large shoulders meowing.

Then it licks Kyoutani’s cheek.

“Why the heck are they so quick to get attached to you!?”

“It’s not my fault!”

“I hate the fact that you’re so easily liked!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

It had been around an hour since practice started. The two, wearing the Aoba Jousai volleyball uniform, were still a far way off to returning to the third gym, however.

**********

The End

#kyouhaba #kyoutani kentarou #yahaba shigeru #mad dog and puppy #haikyuu #hq #This should be exactly as the translator translated it but if you notice any issues with my repost please let me know

[electra-jolts-magnetism]

Winx Club: Staff Headcanons:

Wizgiz, Faragonda, and Griselda [not ship]

I imagine Wizgiz uses the vents to get around the school.

I imagine he started doing it because he was sick of having to rush to get to his classes on time because Alfea is a rectangular “U” and the idiot who designed this place decided to put the staffroom on the other Fucking side of the school from where the classrooms are and the staff quarters a floor above them.

And then their the whole “No flying in the halls unless it’s an emergency” rule that also applies to staff members because it was originally Faragonda and (Mainly) Griselda’s way of getting back at Wizgiz for being a dick to Faragonda in their first year and Griselda also has an entirely different reason entirely.

Faragonda’s over it.

But come on we all know Griselda’s kinda petty and can hold a grudge better than anyone.

Also in my AU Griselda was Academically Perfect. Like 100% on every test, quiz, essay, and homework assignment and activity she received.

Then it happened...

On a Sunday afternoon many years ago all Seniors of the 3 schools received their test results on their Friday finals (seniors stayed for a few days for each school’s individual graduation ceremonies and the Senior Dance on Wednesday that all 3 schools attended. It was also optional for them to stay for a whole week back then to you know say goodbye).

Griselda received 100% on everything except metamorphosymbiosis. She scored a 99.99% on it and the events that followed weren’t pretty. She had a mental break down and basically went through several of the stages of grief(not in order but still). She sat their frozen in place, sitting on her bed, staring at the paper, breathing and blinking only when it was absolutely necessary.

30 minutes later the first tear began to fall. 45 minutes later they were slowly making there way down her face. An hour later Faragonda arrived at their shared dorm with Griffin and the twins in tow. They were worried when Griselda didn’t show up because 1. Griselda rarely missed the “Lady Lunches” they had every weekend unless it had something to do with school and 2. Griselda was never late unless again it had something to do with the school. School was over and they all Graduate on Wednesday so that meant that something was very, very wrong.

Faragonda sat next to Griselda and asked her what was wrong as Griselda hadn’t moved a millimeter since the 4 of them walked in and she could see the tear trails on her best friend’s/roommate’s face. Griselda slowly turned towards her best friend and handed Faragonda the paper.

Faragonda began reading the results and gasped when she saw the score and locked eyes with Griselda before handing the paper to Griffin (whose eyes widened when she realized the problem) and pulled Griselda into a bone crushing hug.

It was then that Griselda broke down into uncontrollable sobs. Scaring the living Hell out of the Twins and both looked to Griffin for answers. She just handed them the paper and after reading it the Twins understood everything both of them moving to place their hands on Griselda’s shoulders with Zarathustra on the bed and Ediltrude kneeling on the floor while Griffin moved to hug Griselda from behind.

10 minutes later Griselda suddenly went quiet before moving to stand a look of pure rage and determination on her face. She grabbed the test results before walking out of the dorm like she was ready for battle that gave Faragonda a very bad feeling and the witches to smile with glee. This was going to awesome.

Everyone felt the anger that was rolling off her before she even entered the dining hall, Faragonda and the witches not far behind her. Griselda walked right up to the head table. She DEMANDED to see her test. Wizgiz did it without question. While Mavilla was about to say something Griselda held the Test scores in front of the Headmistress’ face who went silent immediately after seeing the score.

The question in question was multiple choice and it was on how to properly spell a word. Griselda knew she was right because the the class book they were using spelt the word wrong. When every other book she read had spelled it the same way as her answer. Her score was change too 100% Making Griselda the first Student to graduate with a Perfect Academic recorded. Her Behavioral record was a different story.

Griselda tried to kill him. We know she didn’t succeed but It took Faragonda, Griffin, the Twins and Mavilla to stop her. It is the second mark on her permanent record at Alfea.

The first being a fist fight she got into during her first year with a 5 second year specialists who weighed a least twice as much as she did and each one had at least 4 inches on her.

One of the guys who was a Narcissist with had really bad anger issues raised his arm to hit Griffin after she refused to go out with him and bruised his ego. But before for Anyone could react Griselda appeared out of no where pushing Griffin out of the way causing the guy to hit her in the face instead of Griffin.

One thing that shocked and scared almost everyone wasn’t the fact that Griselda didn’t flinch when she got hit. No it was the smirk that appeared on Griselda the moment after the guys fist connected with her jaw. She immediately punched him back causing him to fall resulting in his friends moving to help him up and join him.

You see there is a law in Magix that basically says that if someone hits you have every right to to beat the shit out of them and there friends(if necessary), as long as you don’t seriously injure them/cause possibly fatal injuries(stabbing gunshots, puncture wounds) or kill them.

Griselda has learned many different fighting styles since she could walk and has mastered most of them. And unfortunately for the boys she decided to wear leggings that day.

Lets just say that by the end of the Fight Griselda walked away with a some bruises on her arms and legs and one on her jaw. The five specialists on the other hand...

The first Specialist who tried to hit Griffin had several broken fingers, a broken wrist, a broken radius, ulna and humerus all on the arm he tried to hit Griffin with as well as a popped testicle and a broken jaw.

The second Specialist had a broken nose, a split lip, a black eye and a cracked jaw.

The third Specialist had several cracked and broken ribs and a sprained ankle.

The fourth Specialist had a broken leg and a dislocated ankle.

The fifth and final Specialist had a dislocated right shoulder and a broken wrist do to landing on it after Griselda stopped his right jab, grabbed his arm and threw him over her head.

She wasn’t punished for it because she waited until they all hit her once before she attacked them. And as an added bonus No One messed with her or her friends. Though the witches did shit talk with her because she gave as good as she got, if not better.

—————————————————————————

I’m only seeking Validation.

🥺

Please?

#winx #winx club #wizgiz #faragonda #griselda #griffin #ediltrude #zarathustra #headmistress faragonda #headmistress griffin #when they were young #when they we students #winx headcanons #headcanon #winx club headcanons #winx club staff headcanons

[lostparker]

saturday nights - p.p oneshot

pairing: peter parker x reader

requested: no

summary: saturday night belonged to you and peter. what happens when he doesn’t show up for the first time?

warnings: mentions of blood and some super fluffy peter parker

words: 1.6k

A/N: after the lukewarm response for the trailer i debated posting this at all but i needed something new to post while i worked on other stuff so here you go. its unedited trash and probably really bad but then again that describes most of my writing :)

feedback as always is appreciated

⭐️ my masterlist ⭐️

Your Saturday nights were reserved. Saturday nights were for Peter Parker. They were the nights that he would swing through your window and spend the entire time with you. No distractions, no super-secret hero duties, just you and him. And they were your favourite time. Peter Parker had your Saturday nights all to himself.

It felt like it had always been this way. I mean, it technically had. Ever since you’d become friends it had sort of become your routine. Something you’d both just accepted. Something you both secretly loved more than anything else. Peter would find himself counting down the minutes till Saturday on Friday, or sometimes if he was desperate to see you, Thursday. You’d be wishing it was Saturday night again the minute Sunday morning woke you up.

He always arrived at the same time. Right before the sun would set when there was still a golden glow in the sky. Right before the air would turn cold and the city fell asleep. That’s when you’d hear the gentle thud on your fire escape followed by three soft knocks at your window. Always three. Never more, never less. You’d let him inside, leaving just enough time between the knocks and you getting to the window to make it less obvious that you’d been waiting for him.

He’d always have his school backpack with him and each time he’d earn a shake of your head when he’d arrive with a new one. You’d give him a smile, knowing exactly what happened to the last. Inside would always be a change of clothes because as you’d discovered in the beginning it was not comfortable to cuddle while wearing lycra, and some sort of snack to share.

Sometimes it would be cookies, other times popcorn. Once he even brought apples and you both burst into fits of laughter when he pulled them out because he’d looked like he was about to practice his juggling skills. But it was constant. Something in your life that you could rely on. You found yourself wishing every night was Saturday night.

Tonight was no different. Your favourite time of the week had rolled around once again and you were perched on your bed reading a book. Well not really reading, but you didn’t want Peter to know that you were just sitting around waiting for him. You wanted to at least look like you were a little busy. Although you suspected he’d be able to see through your facade. He read you a lot better than you faked reading your book.

You glanced at the clock. 8.17pm. He was a little later than he usually was but you weren’t worried. Not instantly anyway. You went back to impatiently ‘reading’ your book but as the minutes trickled on you found yourself getting more and more anxious. 9.58pm.10.47pm. 11.23pm. 12.03am. Hour by hour your precious Saturday night disappeared, and Peter didn’t show up. For the first time, Peter didn’t show up.

You checked your phone to make sure you hadn’t missed a text from him. A message telling you he was sick or he had more homework than usual and couldn’t make it. But there was nothing. No messages. Sighing in defeat and throwing you unread book onto the floor you went over and latched your window. Figuring there was no need for it to be open now that Saturday night was over. You prepped yourself for bed. Spending extra time washing your face and brushing your teeth in the hopes that maybe Peter would still show up.

He didn’t.

By the time you curled up in bed, it was past 2am and Sunday morning was creeping in quickly.  While you were exhausted, you were also sad. But the kind of sadness that you can’t really place. The kind that just sort of settles in your stomach and you’re not exactly sure why its made a home there. You knew there was probably some rational explanation for why Peter hadn’t shown up. Still, you fell asleep with this ache in your chest.

You woke up suddenly to the sound of violent pounding at your window. Your heart was racing as your hands fumbled for your bedside lamp, eyes catching sight of the clock. 3.59am. You dragged yourself from the bed, sleepily and with a shaky hand, you pulled open the blinds. Your eyes fought to adjust to the image outside the window but when they did they were met with the black eyes of everyone’s favourite friendly neighbourhood spiderman.

You didn’t waste another second and pulled open the latch, throwing open the window perhaps more violently than necessary. Peter practically fell into your arms. He hadn’t even taken the mask off but you could tell something was wrong. His breathing was laboured and he clung onto your thin t-shirt like his life depended on it.

You managed to drag him across to your unmade bed and he sunk down into it, knees buckling under him. Your hands caught the edges of his mask but before you could pull it up his hands grabbed your wrists halting your movements. You gave him a quizzical expression, his returning one unreadable under the mask.

“Please?’ You prompted gently as you removed his hands from your wrists. He just nodded softly for you to remove the mask.

You continued to pull at the mask, earning a couple winces from Peter. When it was off were met with one of his boyish lopsided smiles and his messy chocolate hair, nothing you hadn’t seen hundreds of times before. One difference was that his face was covered in bruises. His lip was split, he had a nasty black eye forming and there was dried blood caking various parts of his face. You couldn’t help the gasp that fell from your lips as you recoiled from him.

“Should have probably kept the mask on, huh?” He chuckled, groaning as it caused the cut on his lip to reopen.

“Peter… What happened?” You questioned. Taking one of his still covered hands into yours, thumb running over the smooth red and blue material as his fingers danced in your palm. He could detect fear in your voice, and anger. Not anger directed towards him. Anger directed towards whoever did that to him.

“You should see the other guys.” He chuckled, gasping slightly and grabbing his side. You couldn’t bear to look at him all battered and bruised. 

“Hang on, I’m gonna clean you up.” You breathed out. Dropping his hand and motioning towards the bathroom

“You don’t have to I can manage.” He argued. Reaching out to grab your wrist which caused you to spin slightly and almost land in his lap. You steadied yourself on his shoulders and brushed one of his curls off of his forehead.

“You’re kidding right?” You muttered shaking your head lightly and turning away out of his grasp, heading to the bathroom to grab a wet flannel and the first aid kit.

“I can manage…” he protested, attempting to stand up from the bed only for his knees to collapse under him and for him to land with a ‘humpf’ back onto the bed. “Okay maybe you’re right.”

When you came back with everything you needed you positioned yourself in between Peter’s legs, holding onto one of his shoulders as you dabbed the flannel on areas where the blood had dried into his skin. He focused on your eyes and the way you bit your lip in concentration to distract him from the stinging sensation he felt, despite how gentle you were being.  

Moments later and he looked fairly normal, except from the black eye, but there wasn’t much you could do about that. You’d found a t-shirt that would fit him so he could get out of the skintight suit that was no doubt concealing more bruising that was blooming across his body.

You got him to lay down in bed, and you were covering his body with the duvet before you prepared to go and make yourself comfortable on the couch but before you could his hand shot out and grabbed you wrist for the third time that night. He pulled you towards him, forgetting he had super strength which caused you to stumble and it took every ounce of strength you had not to land on top of him. You didn’t want to hurt him more than he already was.

“Peter!” You gasped, landing just beside him. You couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across your face. You had to admit he looked really cute lying in your bed, and you couldn’t help the way your heart skipped a beat. You tried to lighten the mood and distract yourself from the pounding in your chest as you looked at him.

“You better not make a habit of showing up on Sunday morning instead of Saturday night Parker.” You whispered, quiet enough that if he hadn’t been listening he might have missed it.

“Okay, I’ll promise, on one condition.” He spoke softly, tone measured.

“What?” You mumbled, nibbling at your fingernail, your brain wondering what he could possibly want to distract you from the way you stomach tightened as you looked into his eyes.

“Cuddle me?” He whispered. You tilted your head to him, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. You hoped your cheeks hadn’t betrayed you, but you knew you were probably blushing shade of raspberry right now. Why did Peter Parker have to be so darn cute?

“Of course.” You breathed, running a hand through his tangled locks before he pulled you on top of him. He pressed his lips gently to your forehead before he mumbled against it.

“At this rate, I won’t need to worry about showing up on Sunday morning because I’ll already be here.” He pulled away to look at you and chuckled at your mock shocked expression. His eyes were sparkling cheekily and you playfully slapped him across the chest, being careful to avoid any area that might be delicate.

“Peter Benjamin Parker!”

Hopefully, you’d be spending more than just Saturday nights together.

requests are open - here

@silvxrblue

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker x reader #tom holland x reader #peter parker imagine #peter benjamin parker #spiderman far from home #spiderman ffh #spiderman: far from home #spider man: homecoming #spiderman homecoming #spiderman #peter parker fluff #tom holland fluff #peter parker headcannon #tom holland headcannon #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers #mcu #mcu marvel #marvel #spiderman x reader #peter parker fanfic #peter parker oneshot #tom holland one shot #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland oneshot

[szopenhauer]

What are you wearing right now? bluzę Lucy, tunikę z napisem Can’t touch this na tyłku, dresy...

Who was the last person you hugged? dad

Do you write down your dreams when you wake up? often

When was the last time you cried? Why? not sure

Do you still have most of your childhood toys? a lot of them

Do you get leg cramps often? recently I started to get them as I never did before :o

What is your religion? Christianity

Do you make wishes on your eyelashes? I blow at them to check who’s thinking about me

Have you ever met someone online then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on?: yes, Dorota, tumblr

What was the last thing you threw in the trash?: strzykawkę

How many orange clothing items do you own?: just a few

Are you procrastinating at the moment?: kinda

Is there someone you really wish would talk to you?: maybe

Is Halloween simply the greatest holiday ever?: nah (Lisa is offended)

When were you last frustrated?: now

When was the last time you wanted to tell someone something, but couldn’t?: today

How many true friends do you know you’ll always have?: I worry that I will end up without my gf and dad :(

What color car would you definitely not want to own?: pink 

Do you look more for “cuteness” or “hotness” in the opposite sex?: cuteness 

How old is the nearest framed photograph to you?: it’s my dad’s black and white portrait so older than me probably

Are you picky when it comes to music?: dunno

What is something new you realized today? sigh...

Do you pick out your outfits at night or in the morning?: morning

What is the longest period of time you’ve chewed a single piece of gum?: not long

Have you ever seen the movie “Chicken Little”?: nope

What is the closest green object to you?: scissors

When was the last time you got your hair cut?: this month

Do you ever wear long socks?: not anymore

Polka dots or stripes?: stripes

Do you like the smell of hand sanitizer?: noooo

If your friend just died, what would be the first thing you would do?: omg...

Do you like the colors of your room?: they’re fine

Would you rather it be snowing or bright and sunny?: bright and sunny

When was the last time you went to the dentist?: almost week ago

Do you believe in reincarnation?: hmm...

What do you think of when I say PURPLE?: asexuality and Prince :D

What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I’m watching Mean girls reunion now How long do you think you could go without listening to music? dunno How long could you go without chocolate? years

How about without your Cell phone? depends Which do you prefer: computer or television? computer, I don’t watch TV Who do you get along with best in your family? my father obviously How often do you go to the movie theater? I don’t How late did you stay up last night? 1 am at least When did you wake up? late Are you ready for children? hell no Do you prefer to text your friends or call them on the phone? text Do you have a nice yard? meh When you’re bored in class, do you write on the back of your hand? used to at times Do you think that you see the world differently from others? kinda Do you watch the late night news? no news, I avoid them all as much as possible Do you have any odd obsessive habits? not obsessive? Do you prefer sour or sweet? sweet Are you currently in your house? I am indeed Do people ever compliment your eyes? M. complimented my eyes Do they compliment your hair? wonder why  Do you laugh at extremely corny jokes? oh well... Do you prefer ketchup or mustard? preffered ketchup Garlic fries or curly fries? garlic fries? eww! Are you one of the top 5 smartest in your class? been in elementary and partially middle school too Do you own any crazy socks? wouldn’t say so

Tell me about the first five photos you have on your phone or camera.: Nat took pics of cats 

Have you got any half or step siblings?: I have not

When was the last time you were disappointed?: constantly?...

What cars do your siblings drive, if they do drive?: she doesn’t

What about your parents?: neither

Do you like kid’s movies?: plenty

When was the last time you had to take someone home? Who was it, and where did you take them home from?: odprowadzaliśmy Gosie jakiś czas temu ze wspólnie spędzonego dnia w parku

Who did you last speak aloud to and what did you say?: parent, forgot

How many siblings do your parents have?: mom has a brother, dad has a sister and two brothers

What colour is your wallet?: I own several coin purses instead

Are you wearing any jewellery right now?: am not

What can you smell right now?: luckily nothing

Who last held your hand?: family member

Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies?: not Hobbit 

What is something you can’t seem to stop doing (or start)? uh oh 

When was the last time you comforted someone who was upset? hours ago When was the last time you yelled at someone? same What types of things typically cause you to cry? everything?... What is one thing that would make your life a lot better? better health - too late for that  How would you describe your overall aesthetic? complicated What is one of your most positive characteristics? What about one of your most negative? matter of perspective

Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? first option Are you always late or always on time? early

Do you face your problems head on or do you run away from them? run What do you think of dreadlocks? cool Who do you know without a doubt cares about you? I doubt everyone, sorry Have you ever caught yourself talking in your sleep? mom caught me once or twice when I was a child Do you catch lizards? I photograph them

What is your favorite lyric in the song you are listening to? I like it whole - Tame Impala - Feels like we only go backwards Has anything seriously made you mad today? whoops

What brand of chapstick do you use? none, gross Is it cold in your house? not now Where you live, has it snowed yet? thx God it didn’t :o Are you the type of person who says you like something just to be cool? been there, done that, regret it What is the title of the last story you wrote? personal Paper clips or staples? staples Is swearing really necessary? helps :x Have you ever stuck your tongue to a frozen pole? I’m not stupid  Do you take screen shots often? shitload Is there an album that you can listen to without skipping over any songs? when in the mood Do you use Mozilla Firefox? only to listen to the mass on Sunday  Cinnamon: Yes or no? rarely What would your initials be if you married the person you are crushing on? who said I’m gonna change my surname? What year was your dad born in? not your business Do you have any beauty marks? moles? mhm Lyrics to end this survey, aye? :] Baby, I'm dying for another taste

hows your life at the moment? “rollerclaster” or worse do watch funny tvshows like family guy and south park? prefer Simpsons

have you let someone down recently? nothing new quick lyrics from the last song you heard.. Hi my little kitten who have you talked to on the phone today? - make a wish. right now. anything. miracles won’t happen to me... if you had to live at one of your bestfriend’s houses, where would u live? I already live with one lmfao how are you on this fine day? not the worst yet? are there any stressful situations in your life? ha ha ha... can you love and hate someone? I felt that  do your parents annoy you? my mother is a pro at this what’s your favorite Lady Gaga song? 911 lately any last words? better stay quiet...

[27emailsicantsend]

Can I request a Muffy story, please? Right after the party, a couple of days, and Muffy meets Marty's family. She finds out his last name and loves it. Please add all the fluff you would like.

Marty’s Family: A Muffy One Shot

Buffy was looking in the mirror, scrunching her curls one last time. She stood a moment, and then decided she needed lip gloss too. She unscrewed the little tube of lip gloss and gently applied some to her lower lip. As she rubbed her lips together, she started thinking about what was in store for her tonight.

She and Marty were now official. They kissed at the party and things were finally the way they should be. Marty texted her yesterday asking if she wanted to join his family for a Sunday dinner. She had only ever seen his mom once, when she waved at Marty after Buffy got him new shoes. She wasn’t really sure what to expect, but was excited to finally meet the family who raised such an amazing person.

Suddenly, however, her excitement turned to fear. Buffy sat down on her bed as she tried to keep her breathing steady.

What if they don’t like me? What if they think I’m too loud or competitive? What if they don’t think I’m a nice person? Did I overdress? What if-

Buffy’s thoughts continued to speed up through her mind until her phone buzzed, making her jump. It was Marty. He and his mom were ready for her to come over whenever she was ready. She stood up, brushed down her red and white baby doll dress, and put on a pair of yellow flats... well one flat since her other foot was taken by her walking boot still. She put on a coat and then her mom took her over to Marty’s.

Buffy’s eyes widened when she got out of the car. Marty’s house was huge. He was such a down-to-Earth person, that this was the last place she ever expected him to live. She was expecting some two bedroom, run down home from the seventies with beat up cars in the front. Instead, it was an obviously newer home. It was tan and white, with beautiful rock coverings around it. The yard was landscaped beautifully with flowers, rocks, and water flowing in and out of the rocks. A giant tree with a bench swing sat out front and the drive way was spotless.

Buffy walked up to the front door nervously and stepped on the “welcome” mat. She saw a knocker on the door, but panicked using it, so she just knocked loudly next to it. The knocker seemed too fancy for her to use. Buffy heard footsteps.

The door opened to an older lady. She had blonde hair with some white starting to show, a nice dress shirt and skirt, and an apron on, with a dish towel thrown over her shoulder. She wiped her hand on the apron and with a smile, shook Buffy’s hand, saying, “hi! You must be Buffy! Come on in”.

Buffy assumed she forgot the day she saw Marty and her talking because it was so long ago. This actually relieved Buffy, so she could make any first impressions she wanted.

Inside was a small waiting area that the stairs half spiraled down to. There was a small balcony over looking this area. Underneath the balcony was a small hallway going to the back of the house. On either side of the main entry way was a piano room and a small library. This house seemed to come straight out of a movie for Buffy.

As Buffy took off her shoe, she turned to walk down the main entry hall into the kitchen. She could smell the aroma of chicken and potatoes filling the house. She was starving.

Buffy began to walk down the hallway, she saw a sign hanging above it that said

SHAW

~Est. 2000~

Buffy hobbled into the kitchen. The house was definitely on the newer scale from the inside too. Beautiful granite counter tops, new appliances, and polished-looking love seats. The kitchen, dining area, and living room were all joined together, making that area of the house feel a tad bit smaller than the way it looked from the outside.

“Mom! When is she getting here?”

A beautiful girl, about sixteen, came running downstairs with her long, straight dirty blonde hair bouncing behind her. She was thin and tall and had a short, slimming blue dress on. She had one dimple deep on her right cheek. She walked into the kitchen, and as she was putting in an earring, looked at Buffy and said, “oh hi! You must be Buffy! I’m Marty’s sister, Allison, but you can call me Allie”.

“Nice to meet you,” Buffy said politely.

“Where is your brother? Your dad is going to be home any minute and he still hasn’t taken the dog out or helped set the table”, Mrs. Shaw asked with a slight annoyance in her voice.

“I can set the table, mom. I don’t know what he’s doing”, Allie said.

Allie began to pull some plates out of a cupboard. “I’ll help!” Buffy volunteered as she clumsily walked towards Allie. Mrs. Shaw noticed Buffy’s foot. “Oh no, dear, that won’t be necessary. You’re our guest and besides that, your foot is hurt”.

Buffy wanted to feel more comfortable and she especially didn’t like being told she wasn’t capable of helping. It only made her want to help more. However, she didn’t want to cause contention with Marty’s mom, so she said “ok” and sat back down on a bar stool.

“MARTY!” Mrs. Shaw yelled, at what was presumably the stairs on the opposite side of the house.

“YEAH?” Buffy heard Marty yell. This made her heart stop.

She didn’t know why, but the sound of him being at home and in his element was so much more attractive to her than seeing him at school.

“COME HERE PLEASE!” Mrs. Shaw yelled back.

Buffy heard running down the stairs and into the hallway. Just as she looked over, she saw Marty stop. His eyes widened and then he got a massive grin on his face.

“Hi,” he said gently to her.

“Hi,” she said, smiling.

Marty was wearing a nice pair of skinny black dress pants and a quarter length black sleeve button up shirt with the sleeves rolled at the bottom. Buffy couldn’t stop staring at how good he looked in that shirt.

Marty’s mom cut off their moment by saying, “Marty, your dad is going to be home any minute now. Sadie needs to be taken out and your sister needs help setting the table”.

Buffy didn’t say anything. She just thought if I would have helped, the table would be set by now, but whatever.

“Ok,” replied Marty, “Sadie, come here, girl!”

Just then a massive golden retriever jumped off the couch and ran straight for Marty. She put her paws up on him and almost knocked him over. He was messing up her fur and playing with her when his mom said, “Marty, stop it. You’re going to get fur all over your nice clothes. There’s a lint roller in my room when you’re done”.

Marty just giggled and said, “we’re in trouble now. Come on, Sadie”. Sadie put her paws down and Marty patted her back as they walked to the sliding glass door that led from the kitchen to the patio. Marty put on his big winter coat and walked outside with Sadie.

When they were back outside, she jumped back on him and he started to rustle with the dog all over again. It felt as if Buffy was watching him in slow motion. The dog barked while Marty smiled and would pick up her paws or shake her head around to mess with her. Buffy couldn’t help but smile as she watched Marty’s interactions with this animal. It made her heart melt to think of how innocent and child-like he was.

“He sure loves that dog,” Marty’s mom said, laughing.

“He sure does,” Buffy agreed.

Just then, she heard the sound of Marty’s dad coming in through the garage.

“Hi honey!” Marty’s mom said cheerfully as his dad walked in and kissed her on the cheek. “How was work?”

“Hi dad!” Allie said as she finished putting the last of the plates and food on the table, besides the rolls which Mrs. Shaw was taking off of a cookie sheet and putting in a basket.

“Hi sweetie,” he said to his daughter and then turned back to Mrs. Shaw. “It was fine. Just living the dream,” he said, laughing at his dad joke.

He was an older man as well with a lot more gray in his hair. He was tall and had dimples in both cheeks. He was handsome for his age, in his nice suit and tie. Buffy could see where Marty got his looks from. Buffy smiled at the thought of this potentially being her and Marty someday when they got older.

Marty walked back inside with Sadie, nose and cheeks flushed from the cold. Sadie, a big smile on her face and panting, ran over to the living room and flopped out in front of the fire place. The fire warming up her golden fur.

“Ok, Marty, go wash up. It’s time to eat,” Mrs. Shaw said as she brought the roll basket to the table. “Don’t forget to roll the fur off your shirt!” She added.

Marty went off to the bathroom to wash his hands and while he did, Buffy stood up as everyone took their seats. Mr. and Mrs. Shaw each took a seat at one end of the dining table. Allie sat on one side with an empty chair and there were two other empty chairs across from Allie as well.

Buffy didn’t know whether they had more children or where to sit, so she just stood there, watching. She started to get nervous again as she realized how little she actually knew about Marty.

As she watched, the Shaw’s take their seats, Marty’s dad spoke up, “you must be Buffy?” She nodded. “Well, take a seat! Don’t be shy!” He gestured at the empty seats next to him. She sat at the one closest to him.

Buffy breathed a small of relief when she saw Marty walk back in and take the seat next to her.

Buffy became nervous again as she looked down and saw an extremely fancy table setting. Two glasses, one with water, the other with sparkling cider. Three plates stacked on top of each other. A knife, two forks... it was all so much. She couldn’t help but think about how she ate cereal in her bed for dinner last night.

“Let us say grace,” his mom said, holding out her hands on either side. Buffy awkwardly grabbed Marty’s and Mr. Shaw’s hands and let them lay limply there.

The prayer was short and then they started to get their food. She watched Marty carefully, copying all of his moves, since she had never eaten at a dinner this fancy in her life. She mimicked as he put butter on his plate and dipped his bread in, grabbed the same fork he did to eat salad with, and only drank when he did. She felt so tense as she watched the precision his whole family had when eating.

They had been making small talk up to this point, talking about Buffy’s family and school, but the real talk started in when the main course came around (the chicken). Buffy used prongs to put a boneless chicken breast on her plate and began cutting it with a knife and fork.

“So, Buffy,” Mrs. Shaw inquired, “how did you end up hurting your foot? I forgot to ask but I’m dying to know”.

Marty’s face hung down a little lower as if he was... ashamed? Buffy tried to shrug it off as she answered. “Well, Marty and I went running for a marathon. We both like running and I thought it would be ok. I didn’t train at all, though, and ended up giving myself a stress fracture”.

“Marty? Are you serious?!” Mrs. Shaw asked, fury rising in her voice. “You knew about this? You know how serious running a race is without the proper training!”

Buffy quickly defended him, “Mrs. Shaw, with all due respect, it was my choice, he tried to stop me-”

“But he didn’t. He still let you go and run, and you ended up hurting yourself!”

Marty’s face lowered even more.

Mr. Shaw tried to calm his wife down. “Honey, she just said it wasn’t his fault. She chose to run”.

“I don’t care whose fault it is or isn’t. Marty knew she was running and he let her run and get herself hurt. What if she got dehydrated? Or had to go to the hospital? All because our son couldn’t get past his rose-colored glasses to see how serious of a situation this is!”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” Marty said, walking out.

“Marty,” Mrs. Shaw, said. Her voice apologetic.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Mr. Shaw said.

Buffy placed an arm gently on Mr. Shaw, “if you wouldn’t mind, can I go talk to him?”

Mr. Shaw smiled politely, “sure”.

Buffy got up, half thankful to be out of there, half scared to see Marty upset.

She went up the stairs and peeked around doors until she found his room. There wasn’t much in it. A queen sized bed, with a low to the floor frame, covered in a plaid comforter and a lot of mushed-down pillows. A desk, closet with white doors, an oval wicker chair with a tied on cushion, and his backpack and running sneakers she gave him in a corner.

Buffy saw Marty sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at his feet.

Buffy gently tapped on his door. “Can I come in?”

Marty smiled a little, “hey, sure”.

She sat down next to him. “You ok?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Buffy was about to interject when Marty answered the question for her. “It’s not like my mom just ruined this night that was supposed to be perfect with you. I promise, she’s not like this. But she’s been so... uptight? Ever since I mentioned you coming over. When Rachel came over she never acted like this”.

That stung a little. To think that Mrs. Shaw liked Rachel more than Buffy.

She didn’t know what to say. She figured it was probably best if she just went home.

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave. I can text my mom to come pick me up”. Buffy began to stand up but then she felt a hand grab her wrist.

“No, Buffy. Don’t go. I want you to stay. I’m really sorry. I’ll talk to her”. And almost as if Mrs. Shaw was listening to the entire conversation, she knocked on the door right then. Right on cue.

“Hey, can I come in?”

“Sure,” Buffy said, as she began to walk away.

“No, Buffy, stay... I want you to stay”. Mrs. Shaw said as she sat down on the desk chair across from the bed.

Buffy sat back down next to Marty.

“Look,” Mrs. Shaw began. “I’m really sorry for treating you like that downstairs, Marty. I’m super embarrassed”.

“It’s ok, mom- really-”

“No, let me finish,” Mrs. Shaw interrupted him. “It really wasn’t ok. I’ve been treating you pretty harsh the last couple of days because I wasn’t sure about Buffy. I didn’t want to make her feel welcome, in case she became close to you and broke your heart again. I know you were fine with Rachel breaking up with you, but I wasn’t. I don’t like seeing anyone hurt you. So, when you said you had someone else, relatively quickly after Rachel... I panicked. And I’m really sorry. To both of you”.

She looked at Buffy. “Buffy, if you wouldn’t mind, I would really like to start again. I want to get to know you, but actually know you. We have some brownies in the oven and we were going to play some games and eat brownies if you want to join us. If not, I totally understand. I even understand if you never want to come back here again after the way I acted. Just please don’t punish Marty for it”.

Buffy smiled. “Mrs. Shaw, I would be honored. I’m not mad at anybody, I was just confused. Honestly, the foot injury was my fault. You have a really good son, who did everything he could to take care of me. He brought me food gels, made sure I stayed hydrated, gave me a piggy back when I was too exhausted, and even told me multiple times to call a doctor and found one for me. I was the one who was too stubborn and wouldn’t call.” Buffy looked at Marty, “and I’m sorry,” she said as she placed a hand lightly on his.

Marty looked at the ground, sheepishly grinning and blushing.

“You know,” Mrs. Shaw said. “I think I was wrong. I think I’m really going to like you”.

They all stood up to go downstairs and as they were walking, Marty took Buffy’s hand and laced his fingers with hers. He leaned over and whispered quietly in her ear, “I already do”.

#if the part about marty and his dog doesnt completely send you then you have no soul #sorry i don’t make the rules #andi mack #muffy #marty from the party #buffy driscoll #am #one shot #fic #asks #send me asks #anon

[everyday-effing-therapy]

12/06/2020

Hello,

It’s day 3/4/5 (?) of the exams. I had Literature on Monday, Maths on Tuesday and English on Wednesday. Yesterday was a national holiday, so we had a break and I am starting another series of exams on Monday. It will be advanced Maths and then Biology and Chemistry on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Let me tell you, the first three days weren’t even that bad. Shocker, I know. I was super stressed out last Sunday and positive that every single day would be a living nightmare, but, to tell you the truth, it wasn’t.

I have to admit, the first day was scary, but I guess that was due to me not knowing what will actually happen. Form the second day on, I didn’t have trouble falling asleep or eating and I also didn’t feel like randomly throwing up, which is some progress.

I’ve been watching Victorious and then iCarly from yesterday. That’s because some episodes of Victorious make me so mad that I need to calm myself down. And because I knew that iCarly used to be my favourite show in my entire lifetime, I decided to give it a shot and so far, I am loving it again. 

I also went to the garden to suntan a bit today. I felt like I was really pale and since I am not going anywhere this summer, I decided that I can at least try to relax in my garden. I am fully aware that tanning is bad for your skin, so really, don’t overdo it, avoid the sun and all of that, but I applied some sunblocker and left the sun when it started being too much.

I also came back to exercising, as I stopped during the exams. I was way too tired to even think straight, let alone do any exercises. 

Unfortunately, ot started being hotter and hotter, so exercising in the afternoon also becomes a bit problematic, but whatever, I guess I am still fine and besides, it’s not as hot as it was last year.

I’ve been doing some thinking about my school friends. It started out simple, i went out for coffee on Tuesday and learnt that Silver will be breaking up with his girlfriend soon. Now, I don’t really know what to think about it. Yes, I had a crush on him, but that passed when I realised that he really wasn’t that good with people he cared about romantically. There were so many girl crushes that he had and acted as if he wanted to date, but when they became interested, he ghosted them.

I’ve already had my heart broken by so many people, it’s safe to say that the least I can do is learn from my mistakes.

Then, I realised that throughout the exams I haven’t talked to Black at all. I don’t know whether he ignored me on purpose or not, but he didn’t acknowledge me at all and maybe, just maybe, that’s actually for the better.

It doesn’t shatter my heart and that’s important. 

And when I started thinking about all of that, about the tenderness and softness of friendship, I started thinking about my best friend - V.

I’ve known V since I was 13 and we certainly didn’t become friends straightaway. We had our own friendships and way too many differences, she was rough around the edges and I was so delicate she could break me with two words. We became friends some years later, when I had nobody and she came to be my friend. Then, she stayed. 

I never knew how to approach her. She was super friendly at first but we didn’t know anything about each other, so she would always start the conversation with one thing that we shared and that was that we went to the same dance school. After that we talked a bit about friendships and the first breakthrough happened on her birthday when we talked and laughed a lot and I started trusting her. 

She was hurt and disappointed in people, just like I was and we both covered it up with smiles and cheerfulness that wasn’t exactly made up, cause at the end of the day, life is good and you should remember that.

Life went on and so did we. When I was 14 we went on the exchange programme where I befriended her quite quickly. At that time, I was dating a girl and said girl was a bit jealous of V, which I couldn’t grasp at that point, but I really didn’t want to hurt my girlfriend. 

Eventually, V was the one that made me and my ex break up. It wasn’t because of jealousy, no, she was a friend of my girlfriend, hell, a close one. They shared some worries and thoughts and ultimately, V was the person that my girlfriend confided in when she started thinking about breaking up with me. Long story short, V said that it was probably the best thing to do.

When my girlfriend broke up with me, I thought I was going to die. I was 14, which seems so funny, except that it’s literally not, because I’ve never hurt as much before and never hurt as much since then. It was my first take at actual feelings and I was gone, disappeared in the sea of unbalanced actions. 

I didn’t know. I didn’t know that V was the one who talked to my girlfriend and I surely didn’t know that V was someone who anonymously said so much rude shit to me after the break up that my ex had to intervene. I was in pain, the searing hot one and it seemed there was no way out.

V became my friend a year later, when I got my feelings in check, straigtened things out with my ex, even came back to said ex only to break up a couple of months later, but this time, I knew what would happen. This time, it was way more private and V didn’t say anything, didn’t meddle. We broke up for the second time because we found out that we really weren’t that good of a match. Opposites attract, but attraction is not enough to save a relationship.

V became my best friend. She was already friends with Su and the three of us would talk on the phone, constantly text or go to the movies. I was happy I had friends and when we decided to go to the same high school, I was thrilled. 

When we started high school, me and V were in the same class and Su had to transfer, which she did after the first semester. Still, the first half of the year meant a lot, especially when it came to forming social circles, taking up places to sit and such. We’d always sit together, hang out together, be together and that was fine as well.

Then Su came and we needed adjustments, but I guess it was for the better, because we managed to be more for each other but for other people too. 

I learnt what V did in my relationship with my ex and I was furious and hurt. 

But, you know, you can’t take back time. She did what she deemed necessary and admitted to changing her opinion about me and liking me way more afterwards. 

Now, here’s the deal: I don’t know how to forgive. I forget sometimes, but it’s always there in my subconsciousness, nagging me and when I do remember, I can’t bring myself to forgive. I tried to ignore it, I tried to move on, but I can’t stop holding a grudge. It doesn’t matter whether those are my friends, close friends, strangers, parents, family, whoever. I never forgive. I try to move on and live with this dull ache in my chest that makes everyday life a bit harder and I try not to show how I feel, cause you can’t turn back time, I can’t undo what you did. But I was never able to fully forgive.

There are only two people I achieved that with. My cousin, pretty much the most important person in the world and V, my other most important person in the world. 

It’s not like the knowledge doesn’t hurt, but I am alive, I love her as my friend, I am so thankful for her in my life. Sad situtations come and go, I’ve hurt her plenty of times too, so there’s not much we can do, unless we want to wallow in pity for the rest of our lives. 

She’s been extremely supportive throughout entire high school, she befriended my cousin, we hanged out at her summer house a couple of times, she ran after Black for me on that infamous birthday party and talked to him for literal half an hour. She never told me exactly what went down between them, but her support meant so much and always will and I will cherish that forever. 

Me, V and Su are the weirdest jigsaw puzzle, but we fit into each other and that’s all that matters. 

V is the smartest queen I know and I never feel bad or jealous like I have with others when she scores better on biology or chemistry tests, cause I just know that she’s smarter like that. I am better in English and Literature and she knows that too, so we bicker sometimes, but just overall have that mutual understanding of each other and respect for what we know.

She kissed me once to see how it is and I freaked out, cause she’s like family now and it shocked me. I really didn’t mean to hurt her then, I just freaked out and it was my fault, cause I offered in the first place. 

I love her so much as a friend that it’s insane. 

Care about your friends, cause they might be the best thing in your life and that’s magical.

With love,

C

#12/06 #23:55 #night post #diary #journal #journal entry #life #friends #best friend #c posts