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kickingupdust · 2 years

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Virtual Diary Entry #14

Oct 12, 2022.

Today is the anniversary of my best friend’s death. Today was not as hard as the first one. Definitely not as hard as the day she left. It’s easier to deal with when I think of all of the hatred and anguish of the material world and know that she did not deserve to be subject to any more of it. She is genuinely better off where she is. Grief rises from a place of selfishness, self-servitude. Desire. The desire for one more chance, one more opportunity to set things right, one more look into their eyes, one more laugh, one more awkward silence, another note of her voice.

I do still wish she was here, I do battle the selfishness that comes with loss. With each passing year, with each butterfly that lands on me at an opportune moment, I feel less desire for her return. However, I love her. I always did and I always will. And losing her love is one of the biggest plights I will face in this lifetime.

That’s enough about that. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. That’s why it has become easier over time, because I just deny any passage to the thoughts. I think that is really the only way.

Oct 13, 2022

I’m so sorry that you have to have a body. One that doesn’t know what’s best for it. One you try to trust, but no matter what, you just can’t know it well enough. Cannot tend its needs well enough. I wish for nothing more than to unite the head and the heart.

I wish I could show myself the love I so desperately crave. But, I want it from someone else. I want it to be materialized. Hugs and kisses. I cannot give myself those things. Surprises, flowers on the counter when I get home. Little things. Remembering my coffee order.

I wish someone wanted me. I’m normally just kept around for what I can offer, not because someone actually loves or cares for me. But I’ve got an angry heart.

I know I can never be loved at this rate. I am not a courageous person. Determined, maybe. But what it really takes is courage.

I think I am still missing my late friend. I think about how different I felt then. I won’t pay it too much mind though, that is just asking to be sad.

I’m not even really sure what to talk about. Type about?

I feel really annoying. Like I’m a sore on a beautiful woman’s face.

That doesn’t even make much sense. I just feel really undesirable. Like a loser. I feel unworthy of love but at the same time I know I am wonderful and could offer the best love a person has ever recieved. I’m just crazy.

Maybe it’s better to be alone. So I don’t have to put anyone through this. Or keep putting myself through it.

I just wish for so much. I know the good will come to me someday. I have tried acting in the best interest of all, not just me. I’m working on that though. I am still extremely selfish and self serving. I have emotional reactions to things. I don’t always tend the things I need to be tending.

I am really sick of feeling this way. I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to just be someone else for a day. I often wish I could have a little break where I did just that.

When I was younger I had this grand scheme to just buy a bus ticket and get the fuck. I realized after numerous haircuts and eyebrow shapes that I have a very moldable face, one that is easily disguised. I wanted to run away and change my identity. Maybe be homeless. Maybe walk to another country. Chris McCandless style.

I probably would’ve ended up on heroin, assaulted, and dead.

I always thought it was probably better for me in the long run that I got pregnant as a teenager. It kept me from doing alot of stupid shit. Not all stupid shit, because I still do stupid shit. Just not as stupid as I was. Like dropping acid under a train bridge. I mean that was a pretty cool experience but it was not a smart thing to do.

The dumbest thing I do these days is look for love. It exists within me and all around me, yet I still seek it as if my life is completely devoid of it. I just miss having someone to love I guess. I don’t really even know what it is. The people I have loved and do love have a really hard time accepting love from me due to my volatile nature. Its entirely my fault. Written in the stars that I would struggle and be difficult to others. I know I deserve good things as much as the next person, it’s just hard to feel like I do. Deep down I don’t think I do. But on the surface I affirm to myself that plenty of bad people have experienced so much good, and it makes me jealous, and it makes me say I deserve it all the same as them. That doesn’t make sense, does it.

Doesn’t matter. Nothing really does. I could keep being an idiot in love forever if I wanted. And in general. I just need to focus on my career. I know that won’t bring me much happiness but it’ll be a step toward having my own place and I know that would make me happy. Getting to exert full control over an environment, I know it’d serve my control freak ass well.

I wish I was carefree.

FUCK?

Stop wishing for shit, dude. I need to be happy with what I have, I have so much. I have so much more than I could’ve ever gained on my own, and it’s all been with the help of others. What happened to graciousness, my man?

I stopped biting my nails. I’m really grateful for that. I’ve gotten better at painting my nails. Me and my sister are great friends. I cut off and blocked all my ex’s. I have a nice shiny laptop to use for school next semester. I got granted money to go to school. I have a place to live. I have groceries in the house, plenty of food. I have clean water for drinking and showering. I have 2 really cute dogs. I have an awesome son, he’s a hellcat but I know he’ll be great one day. He’s already great, I just mean I see him capable of doing great things. He is so smart.

I have a bunch of colorful pens, all the art supplies a starving artist could want. I have friends. I have both my parents still. I have one set of grandparents left. I have a TV in my room. I have a spotify subscription that comes with Hulu. I’m surrounded by beautiful scenery every day. Butterflies, trees, gentle wind and good weather. I have plenty to be grateful for and somehow I still dwell on the one thing I don’t have, a partner.

Give it up. From now on I need to come and type all the reasons why I’m fine the way I am. And how being with someone won’t make anything any better. About how I make myself miserable instead of just accepting my beautiful life for what it is and being okay with it.

Realistically I know I won’t do that but it’s a nice thought. I can’t wait to go back to school and try half as hard as I’m capable of. I’m ready to ditch the perfectionist tendencies.

#infj thoughts #infjproblems #journaling #online diary #self healing #virtual diary #infj feelings #infj #mbti #tw depressing stuff #sorry for being depressing #healing #self worth #self help #self compassion

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orphicchronicles · 26 days

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social media is fake so get to know me via online quizzes 🤭

enneagram: 7w8

the enthusiast - “the busy, variety-seeking type, spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered.” as a seven, one of my basic fears in life is the feeling of being stuck, trapped, or “negative” emotions. this has created a deep wanderlust within my soul and i am constantly homesick for places i haven’t been before. i tend to swing between 6 and 8 for my wings, but ive noticed that internally i very much so align with my 6 wing, while externally i tend to present my 8 wing.

myers-briggs: infj-t

infj’s are named as “the advocate” and are one of the most rare personality types. infj’s reflect introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging traits. as an infj, i like to say that i experience the world in an extremely intense way. according to the 16 personality website (link below!) “infj’s tend to carry around a sense of feeling different from most people.” i’ve forever been the type of person to float around to various different friend groups, genres, hobbies, etc. while that has been difficult for me to deal with the turbulence of sudden change, it also has giving me the opportunity to meet amazing people all over the world and cultivate experiences that are so incredibly rich.

moral alignment: chaotic good

folks who are part of the “chaotic good” moral alignment tend to “value personal freedom and the greater good, even if it means breaking the law or disobeying authority figures.” we tend to be motivated by a desire to do what is right, but sometimes may not always follow the expected rules of society. as i’ve crossed the threshold into adulthood (barf), my eyes have really been opened to the horrors of the world we live in. i will always, always, ALWAYS be on the side of humanity & equality. periot.

star shit: cancer, cancer ☀️, leo 🌚

i am the textbook definition of a cancer. that’s all you should need to know. 🤟🏼

what tarot card am i: the empress

according to wikihow, this is what the empress card means: “you exude, divine feminine energy. as the empress, you embody grace, abundance, nurturance, and creativity. you’re an artist by heart and a giver by nature.” the description goes on to say, “you are in touch with the mystical world around you and you seem to know things others don’t, and feel things others can’t.” due to the flavor of christianity i grew up in, i was always warned away from anything spiritual - since im a hedonistic, deconstructed, hard-hearted sinner and left the church, ive started learning about other types of spirituality!!!

my taylor swift era: evermore 🍂

“she would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head, they said” yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh that one tracks 😅

what is my aesthetic? indie

“your style is unique and artsy with a hint of nonconformity. you love indie music, films, and a free-spirited lifestyle.” TLDR: my aesthetic is essentially the quirky middle school art teacher.

thnx 4 letting me share ✌🏼

references/links to quizzes/personality tests:

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metavvinteractive · 8 months

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Korean G1 (@korean.g1)

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One of the popular games in Korea, “Flirting simulation” has launched in the Indian region! If you want to join Flirting Simulation, Visit here to play or create

#metavv #flirtingsimulation #datingsim #dating #datingtips #flirt #hindi #game #collaboration #꼬시기시뮬레이션

#mbti types #personality types #enneagram #infj #dating #online dating #relationship #tinder #mbti personality types #mbti memes #mbti personalities #Instagram

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friskyseal · 1 year

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The New Strategy Whereby I Stay Sane

Now I just let my feelings flow naturally. Whatever my voice is saying I listen to it—boost the volume, enhance it, bring it to the front. Approaching food places, whenever I see that somebody is going to get in the same line as me, my head starts yelling at them, "No! Fuck you! That's my restaurant! I want to eat first! No! They're going to get in front of me! Shit! It's all mine! Stay away! It's my food! All for me!"

#blog #diary #online diary #journal #writing #writer #writers #creative writing #writers on tumblr #sfv #infj #infj thoughts #san fernando valley #reseda

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infjpaladin · 4 months

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Not sure why, but I've always loved playing a paladin. I like the idea that he's basically a predator to evil creatures, that the undead and unholy tremble to his presence, and that he can be quite a complex class to play (He can be a tank, a damage dealer, a healer, and usually is the party leader and diplomat)

I've finally got to lvl 10 with my Paladin in D&D (not the game on the pictures, the actual tabletop) Never had I gotten so far with one, and Aasimar Paladins are my favorite, there's just something about and angelic warrior that does it for me. Also I've found out that the Hermit background fits pretty well when you're autistic lol!!

Anyway, just felt like expressing that.

Smite Evil ya'll!

youtube

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a-daisy-in-the-dark · 25 days

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4/6/24

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themidnightarcher · 7 months

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❛ ♡ INTRODUCTION POST ☕ ୧

↳ જ⁀➴ 🏹 ｡˚ “i want to do something splendid before i go into my castle--something heroic, or wonderful--that won't be forgotten after i'm dead. i don't know what, but i'm on the watch for it, and mean to astonish you all, some day. i think i shall write books, and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream.” — JO MARCH, LITTLE WOMEN <33 (my absolute beloved!!)

❝𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋, 𝐒𝐎 𝐈 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋❞

││↳ 🖇️ ⵌ . HI HELLO!! welcome to my page, i'm fatmata, 14 and a hopeless romantic - this is my blog (aka daily dose of cats, coffee and cynicism) but honestly you can consider this as my personal messy online diary which mostly consists of casual brainrots, miscellaneous shit, random incoherent thoughts or rambles, angry rants, online oversharing or any current hyperfixations or obsessions i have at the moment!! <33 my brain is chaotic and always seems to be all over the place (sorry for your sanity). i'm also INCREDIBLY self-indulgent, sentimental, full of suppressed rage and can become unhealthily attached to fictional characters so yeah that's that :)) 📄

│╰─────────── · · · ──────────

╰┈➤ [BASIC INFO] -> black • 🇸🇱/🇬🇧 • UK • 14 • student • INFJ, 8w7 • scorpio sun/moon • virgo rising • slytherin • casual swiftie • major coffee addict (me 🤝 lorelai & rory over being insane over coffee) • PROUD FEMINIST • avid reader • insomniac • CAT LOVER • sunset & sunrise enjoyer • autumn/spring stan • philosopher at heart • major english & history lover • middle child • team conrad • lalala girlie <33 (methinks) • horror movie enthusiast • HARDCORE MUSIC JUNKIE • replay the 'this is me trying' bridge more than the average person should 🤷��♀️ • olivia rodrigo supporter • self-diagnosed pinterest whore • legally married to spotify • fashionista & lipgloss lover • certified rockstar gf • red nails enthusiast • midnights & rep girlie!! • BRATZ & MONSTER HIGH >>> • stationary shops adorer • freddie mcclair apologist FIRST, human second ♡ • probably (NO DEFINITELY) mentally unstable? • professional perfectionist, overthinker & teenage girl-er 24/7 • burnt out workaholic • suffer from an EXTREME case of gifted kid burnout, exam anxiety & identity crisis (so hey that's super fun!!)

╰┈➤ [MAJOR INTERESTS/HOBBIES] -> true crime ➝ listening to music ➝ reading ➝ playlist-making ➝ sociology ➝ media/character analysis ➝ english literature ➝ greek mythology ➝ dancing ➝ reading ➝ playing video games ➝ defending my beloved characters ➝ deep intellectual conversations ➝ watching greta gerwig films ➝ arts & crafts ➝ FASHION ➝ sleeping ALL day ➝ online shopping but never actually buying anything? ➝ researching random shit on the internet ➝ photography ➝ skincare ➝ crocheting ➝ cooking & baking ➝ studying ➝ writing in planners/organising journals ➝ going to stationary stores ➝ board games ➝ girlblogging ➝ maladaptive daydreaming ➝ scrolling on pinterest/tumblr for unhealthy amounts of time ➝ making moodboards ➝ etc. (but i also DESPERATELY want to learn the electric guitar because it's like the best instrument to ever exist?!)

my beloved freffy (bottom right corner) ILY TO DEATH, you deserved BETTER *sobbing while enraged*

╰┈➤ 🎧 [ARTISTS] -> taylor swift (OBVIOUSLY), lana del rey, olivia rodrigo, gracie abrams, conan gray, sabrina carpenter, beabadoobee, maisie peters, mitski, cigarettes after sex, sza, the weeknd, beyonce, kanye west, reneé rapp, ABBA, melanie martinez, tv girl, marina, doja cat, the smiths, queen, nirvana, rihanna, ariana grande, tyler the creator, adele, lorde, mac demarco, phoebe bridgers, avril lavinge, boygenius, laufey, suki waterhouse, fiona apple, clairo, billie eilish, madison beer, tate mcrae, steve lacy, kali uchis, girl in red, lizzy mcalpine, arctic monkeys, radiohead, mazzy star, coldplay, ricky montgomery, harry styles, chase atlantic, the neighborhood, roar, alex g, pinkpantheress & more!!

╰┈➤ 📖 [BOOKS] -> (ok so one thing you should understand is that i've never actually read half of these before but ANYWHO these are books i'm hoping to read in the late future so i guess they still count?? so consider this as my reading list. i'll cross them out once i've finished them!!)

╰┈➤ 🎬 [TV SHOWS/FILM] -> skins, gilmore girls, bridgerton, derry girls, ladybird, little women (2019), tsitp, barbie (2023), anne with an e, twilight, stand by me (1986), the breakfast club (1985) the edge of seventeen, boyz n the hood (1991), red white and royal blue, ten things i hate about you, thirteen (2003), girl interrupted, thg, gossip girl, heartstopper, clueless, legally blonde, [2000s chic rom-com teen girlie movies have me in a severe life-threatening chokehold, send help], outerbanks, never have i ever, sex education, etc. and MANY MORE 🫶🏾🫶🏾

╰┈➤ [+ CHARACTERS] -> JO MARCH, hermione granger, edward cullen, pippa fitz-amobi, ravi singh, rory gilmore, lorelai gilmore, lane kim, anne shirley, mulan, katniss everdeen, peeta mellark, freddie mcclair, effy stonem, cam cameron, devi vishwakumar, nadine franklin, nick nelson, allison reynolds, kat stratford, max mayfield, tracy freeland, conrad fisher, liz buxbaum, wes bennet, peter parker, alex claremont-diaz, georgia nicholson, sidney prescott + MUCH MORE

❝ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐘, "𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄, 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 ❞

ִ ࣪ ⟡ ִ ۫ ִ 🕯️ ── ꒱ ◠ 🎹 ۫ ִ ۫⊹

ִ ࣪𖤐 currently reading agggtm, (re) watching skins (uk) and listening to i wish you roses (kali uchis) <33

ִ ࣪𖤐 i tend to mostly post or reblog lots and lots of art, music, history, fashion, taylor swift, FREFFY, scene aes, pop culture, food, lifestyle, fanfiction, poetry, classic literature, shakespeare, greek mythology, coquette/downtown girl aesthetic, gilmore girls, whispers, gifs, moodboards, original posts, whatever fandom i'm in, etc. overall just WHATEVER seems to catch my eye at the given moment!!

╰┈➤ DNI - racists, terfs/radfems, AGEISTS, proshippers, ableists, ED-promoting blogs, pedophiles, bigots, empty blogs (y'all might be bots or smth), gaylors/kaylors, ceffy shippers (BIASED), mean girls, zoophiles, joe alwyn haters, anti-palestinians, misandrists/misogynists, antisemitics, fatphobes, islamophobes, homophobics, transphobes, xenophobes, etc. and ANYONE ELSE who fits into that majority → 🚪(especially creeps who want to do any 'freaky' shit with me??)

❝ 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄, 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ❞

╰┈➤ MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED!! - @catastrxblues, @sparksssflytv, @youronlymagnolia, @svnflowermoon, @i-miss-you-im-sorry, @stvrlighhttt, @halucynator, @nqds, @alltheliars, @tooinlovetothinkstraight14, @diorgirl444, @stvrlighhttt, @urgirlnextdoorr, @girlfailing, @shefollowedthestars, @wntrrdoll, @weeping-in-the-willows, @skeelly, @reminiscentreader, @isitoversnowtvs, @jewelledmoths, @moonanditstars, @french-toadt, @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies, @christmasslights, @urapocolypticcrush, @cottoncandywhispers, @lost-in-reveriie, @folklore-girl, @betteroffnowthatwedonttalk, @theladyinwhite13, @iwanttomarrynoahshaw, @emailsicntsend, @someones-name-insterted-here, @astraeasparrow, @evermore-4-life - ILY TO THE MOON AND TO SATURN 🪐 (let's all get married and live in the forest together fr)

┕ » • » i’d love to make more friends, feel free to ask or message me!! inbox is always open - PLEASE come say hi, i literally don’t mind at all! ꒱ྀི « ━━━┙

NOW PLAYING: PEOPLE WATCHING - CONAN GRAY‎ — ♬

01:23 ━━━━●───── 02:38

↺ ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤ↻ ☆

★₊˚﹟' CREATED BY @ [--- #THEMIDNIGHTARCHER ]

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weepingtyrantblaze · 2 years

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He just said “I love you 3000” and I burst into tears. I purposely don’t say it to anyone because I was hoping to say it when I get married. So to have my boyfriend say it….heart strings were pulled.

#long distance boyfriend #long distance relationship #long distance romance #online dating #long distance couple #online relationship #online couple #uk boyfriend #interracial couple #long distance #relationship #interracial long distance couple #istp x infj #couple #marvel #iron man

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crezz-star · 7 months

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CREZZ⭐STAR

( do not reblog. this is just a pinned post.... )

Greetings! I'm Crezz! I DRAW WHAT I WANT and what I love and give me inspiration. I found myself drawn to Isekai fantasy genres lately! I also love sparkles, color gold/yellow, cats and DMC's NERO, very very much! ✨✨✨✨

I like games / manga / anime / comic though I do have my favorites that will be stated below:

✨ Devil May Cry series ✨

✨ Final Fantasy XIV ✨

✨ ONE PIECE✨

✨ Detective Conan ✨

Hazbin Hotel

Final Fantasy VII Crisiscore

Kingdom Hearts series

Final Fantasy XV

Tate No Yuusha no nariagari

MARVEL

I like to draw on my own pace as i do not like pressure nor being hired with a deadline. I work best when i'm taking my time because I find inspirations to fuel me to make the piece exquisite.

>> Also NOTE: I like a chill environment and time so I am very much the fiction is and only remains fiction type of person, meaning i'm PROFICTION / PROSHIP, and thus can tell the difference, and DOES separate IRL from fiction. Meaning I can handle seeing most dark themes as well. Although If there's things I do not like, I tend to ignore / mute or block it to avoid it. So i'd recommend you do the same if there's things you don't like that i draw / like / make or plainly of me being proship. Because I am not anyone's online babysitter. This is my blog and YOU came here. Don't act like you own me or control what I make. You don't, so don't go acting entitled.

>> Also 2nd NOTE: Pairings / shipping wise I have top / bottom positionals preference for very few particular characters. That being firstly DMC Nero (top only) and Roronoa Zoro (top only). While there may be times I like art that depicts them as the opposite, its more of appreciation to the art and skills of the artist itself. Nothing more.

>> Also 3rd NOTE: anywhere I go, which ever social media account. I block people. It can be the stuff they make (fanart of pairings i don't like) /say makes me uncomfortable or I see them agreeing or even doing cyberbullying and doxxing of others themselves. It's nothing personal. I just want to vibe and have a good time and avoid terrible people so I use block ( or mute ) . Especially on X where I go on blocking spree sometimes, block chain, to keep my timeline peaceful and thus peace of mind.

>> Also 4th NOTE: any anons planning to send hate in my ask box. don't even think about it. You will only make yourself look like really terrible laughable ( in a bad way ) clown because I will just delete your ask and block you. ( yes even when you are anonymous, there's an option to block, which if i recall correctly, it's your ip that tumblr blocks instead. ) save your energy. Because AGAIN in case you missed it. I DO NOT HOLD BACK IN BLOCKING. Use your energy on things that makes you happy rather than hating on people.

I hope you enjoy your stay! May the stars shine your path to a sparkling future!

----------------------------------------------------

LINKS

Gank ( with monthly art rewards )

X ( twitter )

Twitch

BLUESKY 🔞🪦🕊🔞

facebook page

pixiv🔞 🪦🕊🔞

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kickingupdust · 1 year

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Virtual Diary Entry #15

Oct 31st, 2022

Hey journal, been a while. I’ve been trying to live “real life”. It mostly comprises of long naps and taking way too long to make breakfast.

Tonight is Halloween. I did well. I bought $250 worth of candy, including full-sized bars, and about 20 kids got all of it. There weren’t many trick-or-treaters tonight. It seems like Halloween is dying a little. I kind of had a theory that it’s just the failing economy though. Also the sociopolitical polarization surrounding religion and purity has been rampant for about a year or so, so it wouldn’t surprise me if a bunch of parents kept their kids from participating because it's a “pagan” holiday and shit. Donald Trump damaged our society in ways unimaginable.

Today I feel free. I feel like being myself and not apologizing for it. A lot has happened, yet nothing at all. Nothing has phased me to where I’ve entirely lost myself. I have been entirely solution oriented, yet at the same time not cared if a solution presented itself. I’ve had the “it is what it is” mindset, but in less of a nihilistic way and more of an opportunistic way. Like, well, that happened, what can I do now?

I haven’t felt so bad recently. I have felt very drained though. I picked up smoking again, but then again, did I ever really put it down?

I gotta start sleeping on time again. Taking care of myself, meeting my ego needs.

I ordered “The Artist’s Way”. One of my friends raves about it and says how much it’s helped her with creative block and just healing in general, so I am finally going to give it a try. I was quite skeptical for a while because she is kind of one of those people that parades around as a spiritual guru while living a life brim-full with substance abuse, partying, concert-going, bridge-burning, and spite. However, my life is not devoid of those things so I am not to judge. I’ll give it a shot.

I’m not sure what Halloween should mean for me spiritually. Probably much more than I give it credit for. It was just always sort of an awkward affair for me because I always thought my costume was bad, or that I was too old to dress up, or too shy to go door to door and say “trick-or-treat”. None of that matters though. It's supposed to be fun and free of judgement. A day when lines are blurred and intentions obsolete.

I’m not even really sure what to talk about. It feels weird to be alive. I feel like I have been fighting the same battles forever, and for the longest time they were quite difficult, I never learned. But now, there’s solace in submitting, in losing. It makes the wins more memorable and meaningful.

I need to read more. I think I’ve said that a million times but I am for real this time. I’m getting real sick of the internet.

#virtual diary #infj feelings #infj #infj thoughts #halloween #online diary #tumblog #tumblr diary #been a while

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