this is why vigilantes (+johnny storm) should not be allowed within a five meter vicinity of electronics.
with the exception of blindspot and luke because they're the only ones with brain cells
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During the christian holiday season, Steve Roger/Captain America's official Twitter is full of anti-consumerism sentiment to the point that it effects his popularity. Half his fans are like, "he hates Christmas and the holiday spirit!" While the other half is all, "wow I didn't think I could love this man even more than I already did but I do."
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Sam&Buck vs Twitter
ILoveSamWilson: there’s something about waking up in your new NY apartment and looking to your window to see your favorite person. Sam Wilson as Captain America chilling on your windowsill, My day is starting off right.
HeheCap’sButt: imagine minding your business and seeing fucking Captain America just chillin outside of your window 😭😭
Like I have so many questions?? was he just … there? Did he want breakfast? Did you… let him in??
ILoveSamWilson: Brotha wanted eggs bc apparently Bucky Barnes is a shit cook but good baker (I have no idea what that means but Mr. Sam America has a big opinion on it?)
Bucky Barnes✔️: TO EVERYONE WHO THINKS IM NOT GOOD IN THE KITCHEN I AM. SAM JUST LIKES HIS EGGS RIGHT NEXT TO BRUNT AND I CANT PREFECT THEM
SamWilson✔️: I have no idea what you are talking about🤨 stop lying to the people man
Bucky Barnes✔️: BITCH???
MERICAAA🦅🦅: YOU CALL MR MERICA BITCH?
OH JAIL
JAIL FOR THOUSAND YEARS
🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅 BITCH⁉️
Sam Wilson✔️: hypothetically, if I killed a wwll vet, exactly HOW much trouble would I get in?
SimpForWilson😩: depends, did this hypothetical vet consent?
SAMWILSONCANLICKME: did the vet try to kill you first?
DefinitelyNotBuckysLeftArm✔️: not if you do it right… hypothetically ofc
Bucky Barnes✔️: I feel threatened
Sam Wilson✔️: you should😐😐
Captain America🇺🇸🦅✔️: look at my beautiful boy😄 I love him sm
Bucky Barnes✔️: 🧍♀️ is that at your sister’s birthday? Where did you get this? Didn’t your nephews take this? What is the meaning behind the caption? Sam
Sam… Sam don’t ignore me
LetMeKissSamWilson: in the words of one Steve Rogers, aka ex captain american, “😨Bucky😨”
Penisbreath: BUCKY?
Sam Wilson✔️: WRONG ACCOUNT
WRONG ACCOUNT
WRONG ACCOUNT
FUCK HOW DO I DELETE
SamWilsonIsMyHusband(real): 🤨🤨 I have so many questions babe
Yourmom: WHAT WAS THE RIGHT ACCOUNT?? DID YOU HAVE A STAN ACCOUNT FOR THE WHITE BOY?? SAMUEL PLEASE
Captain America🇺🇸🦅✔️: After Wilson’s last post, he will no longer be allowed to post on the @CaptianAmericaoffical account
SteveRogersAshes✔️: this reminds me of that time Steve retweeted all those cats because he didn’t know what he was supposed to post
Samsmainhoe: um, that’s MR CAPTAIN AMERICA SIR SAM WILSON MAN TO YOU😤😤
AvengersBadPicsMemes✔️: LET HIM FREE
Natashasmywife: LET HIM FREE LET HIM FREE-
Captain America🇺🇸🦅✔️: After reviewing out last statement, Mr. Sam Wilson may still be allowed to post on this account
Sam Wilson✔️: oh great, thought I would be left with my secret Bucky stan account to keep me entertained
Bucky Barnes✔️: 🤨 wdym by that
Sam Wilson✔️: suddenly i must leave
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that last sentence is so powerful considering everything that's going on
including recent events in which french senators are currently trying to pass a bill to criminalize critiqueing the state of israel/ speaking up against zionism: "those who insult the state of israel would face two years imprisonment and a fine of EUR 75,000 "
imagine making it illegal to speak up against a state that has bombed civilians with white phosphorus
imagine making it illegal to speak up against a state that is carrying out collective punishment against the entire population in Gaza, as we speak
this might soon be the world we live in
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Danny, due to his biology of being half dead, can eat very questionable things and not die.
He decides to start a youtube channel with this.
He buys obvious shitty supplements online, clear and obvious scams, and takes them as directed for a month.
Then he reports what they did to him, and sends the samples to get tested. He's gotten more than a few scammers arrested by providing solid evidence that they used hazardous materials to make their product.
He gets away with this by claiming to have the power of abnormal metabolism, or an "iron stomach", so toxins aren't as likely to hurt him.
One of his viewers sends him an unmarked bottle of pills, saying that if he doesn't take the entire bottle on a livestream, they'll blow up a city.
Danny does his livestream, and goes out of his way to use the entire bottle of pills in extravagant recipes. By the end of it he's created a five course meal, all with the pills cooked/melted in, and it's become a mukbang.
The villain who sent it is watching the livestream pissed off, because they didn't specify how to take the pills, so this technically counts. The heroes they have trapped are losing their minds with concern.
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