#oh and i have lost a LOT of weight recently because my health is down the toilet so like. very few of my pants fit me. again.

[orangeoctopi7]

Spider Stan AU Chapter 14: The Carnival

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17607854/chapters/41509076

The day Fiddleford finally got his cast removed, a carnival came to town. While this was normally the sort of thing Stanford detested, even he had noticed how much the tension had been building in the cabin lately. Fiddleford, who he had thought hit it off quite well with Stanley at first, now seemed to be avoiding his brother. And if that wasn't enough, Stan was also exhibiting peculiar behavior. He hadn't woken Ford up in the middle of the night again, but he had been asking a lot of probing questions. Just as Ford had feared, Stan was indeed catching on to Bill's existence, and it was clear from the conversation Ford had overheard during their camp-out that Stan assumed the worst.

Ford made his concerns known to Bill that night.

"If I could just tell him, he wouldn't have to worry. I could just explain that you're not dangerous." The researcher pleaded for the umpteenth time to just be allowed to tell his brother all about Bill. "He's my brother, it's only natural for him to be concerned for my well-being."

"WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS, IQ!" Bill rolled his single eye. "HE WOULDN'T TAKE IT WELL."

"Well if you don't want anyone else to know about you, maybe you should stop appearing to me when Stan and Fiddleford are around." Ford said. "I'm not surprised they're concerned, it must seem like I'm losing my mind to them."

"OH, I'M SORRY, ARE YOU SAYING I'M WRONG? THAT I MADE A MISTAKE HELPING YOU?"

"N-no, of course not!" Ford corrected hastily.

"THE ONLY REASON I GOT INVOLVED ANY OF THOSE TIMES IS BECAUSE YOU WERE ABOUT TO SCREW UP, OR BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME. SO STOP QUESTIONING ME, SIXER! I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU. YOUR BROTHER IS ONLY STAYING HERE BECAUSE HE'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU, AFTER ALL. ONCE HE REALIZES YOU DON’T NEED HIM ANYMORE, HE’LL GO BACK TO HIS OWN LIFE BEING THE SPIDER MAN.

Ford's heart sank. If Bill said so, it must be true. “Oh…”

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WANTS HIM TO STAY, RIGHT?”

“...right.” the scientist agreed.

“THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. SO WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING FOR?”

“I’m sorry.” Ford said timidly.

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT, SIXER. THAT THING I GOT FOR YOU SHOULD BE GETTING TO YOU SOON. THEN YOU WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR BROTHER ANYMORE.”

* * *

“Why are we here again?” Stan asked as they stood in line for tickets to the carnival. Mama Misfortune's Traveling Carnival and Freak Show was barely legible on the faded and peeling wooden sign above the ticket booth. “You hate this stuff.”

“I’ve learned over the years that every so often there’s something real mixed in with the fakes that’s worth studying.” Ford assured him, although what little he could see of the thoughtlessly named ‘freak show’ from here was already making him cringe. “Besides, I figured we could all use a break.” He cast a meaningful glance to Fiddleford, who was already bouncing up and down like a child as he read about the pig races on a nearby sign. 

Stan followed his brother’s gaze and nodded. “Yeah, you got a point there, I guess.” Fiddleford’s recent behavior wasn’t lost on the conman. 

From the way he immediately rushed to get them all a bag of kettle corn, and his detailed description of the best mathematical statistics model to determine the winner of the pig race, it was clear this outing was just what the doctor ordered for McGucket’s mental health. 

“So let me get this straight,” Stan said, obviously interested in the gambling aspect of the conversation, “You can rig the race using math?”

“No!” Fiddleford denied, sounding offended both by the implication that he was cheating and the complete misunderstanding of statistical analysis. “I’m not affecting the outcome any, I’m jus’ gatherin’ all the available data, such as the age, weight, diet, and leg length of the pigs, plus the weather and track conditions, in order to create a mathematical model of the possible outcomes. Once I have those, I can further use advanced probability calculations to narrow down those outcomes using statistics to determine within 0.05% certainty who the winner will be.”

“And they still let you place bets, knowing those odds?” Stan asked incredulously.

“Ah, well, that’s one of the few benefits of everyone thinkin’ I’m jus’ a southern simpleton.” McGucket smirked. “Nobody runnin’ the show needs to know I know those odds.”

“Now you’re speaking my language!” Stan rubbed his hands together eagerly. “Come on, Fidds, let’s clean these suckers out!”

With that, they ran off towards the pig races. Ford shook his head fondly. Whatever problem had come up between those two was obviously forgotten now. He’d go check out the ‘freak show’ section while they were off having their fun. He didn’t want to rain on their parade. 

The old researcher grit his teeth and surreptitiously hid his hands in his pockets once he paid the additional entrance fee for this section of the carnival. The very concept of a ‘Freak Show’ made him want to punch the sleaze ball running the place. Making money off the all too common tendency to ridicule, deride, or fear anything outside of people’s perception of normal. Profiting off the very things that had made Ford’s childhood miserable. 

As he made his way through the throng to the exhibits, his mood only soured. Not only was there nothing authentic here, all the fakes were laughably bad. And yet the people were eating it up!

“This place sure brings back memories, huh?” 

Ford turned with a start to find Stanley had snuck up behind him.

“What happened to betting on the pig races?”

“Oh, well, I already helped all I could with gathering the data. I’m no help doing the math part, so I figured I’d come find you. This place is just like the old boardwalk, huh?”

“If anything it’s worse.” Ford huffed. “The locals are actually buying it.” 

“No kidding.” Stan said, taking in how many adults were paying real money to see a chicken taped to a gorilla. Not just parents with whining kids. Not just teenagers who didn’t know any better. Not just curious tourists with nothing better to do. Back in the day you always got a few suckers like this down at the boardwalk, but the whole town seemed to be here. 

“This has got to be the most gullible town on Earth.” Ford rolled his eyes.

“The most gullible on Earth, eh?” Stan said with a conniving grin.

Ford shot him an unimpressed glare.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Stan’s grin melted away. “You look like dad.”

Ford quickly schooled his face to a neutral expression. “Why would you need to swindle these people anyway? Aren’t you about to win it big at the pig races?”

“You can never have too much money.”

“You can if you use unethical means to get it.”

“Says you.” Stan stuck his tongue out, underlining how childish his response was.

As they made their way back towards the pig races, they came across a palm reader’s tent. The line stretched out longer than the one to place bets on the race.

“Hahah, remember that one time Ma tried to do that stuff over the phone with a fax machine?” Stan elbowed his brother. 

Ford gave the tent the same indignant glare he’d given the freak show, but at Stan’s words, his expression morphed to a more thoughtful one, before finally settling on a mischievous grin. 

“I wonder what they’d make of a hand like mine? I doubt they’ve ever run into a polydactyl person before. They’ll be stumped! Then I can expose them for the fraud they are!”

It was Stan’s turn to roll his eyes. “Or they’ll just make something up on the spot like they do for everyone else. C’mon, they’re just somebody trying to make a quick buck, ignore them.”

“No, as a scientist, it’s my job to advocate for facts and knowledge in the face of ignorance.”

“Fine, waste your time standing in that line just so some schmuck can tell you you’ll win the prize for biggest nerd in the world.” Stan waved him off. “I’m gonna go see if Fidds has found the winning pig yet.”

* * * 

Needless to say, the pig race was a success. Stan and McGucket were counting their winnings and watching as the carnies attempted to round the pigs back up into their pen.

“Do ya reckon they’ll let me wrassle one of ‘em now that the race is over?” 

“Hah! Only if you pay them for it. Then they’ll probably start taking more bets on who’ll win. These people are all about the money.” Stan watched as one of the carnies walked by with the house cut of the bets. “Speaking of which…”

“Hmm?” McGucket looked at him curiously. 

“Uh, forget about it. I’m gonna go find Ford.”

Stan silently followed the carnie to one of the trucks the carnival had driven in on, easily hiding any time the guy turned around to check if he was being followed. Soon enough, the man reached the cab of the truck, unlocked it, and pulled out another key to a safe sitting behind the driver’s seat. He placed the race’s earnings with the rest of the cash inside before locking everything up again.

With a smug smile, Stan slipped on the web shooters he’d brought. He knew there was a lot of money changing hands at a place like this, and he was eager to see how he could use his powers to get in on the action after everything he’d learned with Ford’s help. With a thwip, he snagged the carnie’s keys as soon as he wasn’t looking. He was about to make his way back to the truck to crack open that safe when he found Ford standing outside the palm reader’s tent. His brother looked simultaneously disgusted and concerned.

“Hey, you alright?” Stan asked. “What’d she do, tell you you’ll get married and have 1.2 children?”

“Worse, she started flirting with me.”

“Heh, nice, was she cute?”

“I don’t know!” Ford sputtered. 

“What, too dark in there or…?”

“I don’t know what constitutes cute!”

“What’ve you got there? She gave you her ring? Hah, looks like she wants to go steady!”

Ford quickly shoved it into his pocket, scowling, before changing the subject. “And what have you got there? Where’d those keys come from?”

“Found ‘em.” Stan folded his arms and glanced up at the ferris wheel.

Unfortunately for Stan, Ford knew his brother’s tells all too well. “You’re using your powers to steal!? You don’t need to do this anymore Stan! We can help you.”

Stan, feeling attacked, lashed out. “Oh, right, like I’m gonna be moochin’ off you for the rest of my life! I’m just saving up for when you’re finally ready to move on without me again!” 

He knew it was only a matter of time. Best case scenario, Ford eventually got sick of him like he had back in high school, and he left for whatever new thing caught his interest. Worst case scenario, Stan screwed something up like he had with the science fair project and he was thrown out again. At least this time he’d be ready.

“You don’t have to stay here on my account!” Ford retorted. “And if you go on stealing, you won’t be staying in my house!”

“Says the guy who stole radioactive waste to fuel his experiment!”

“That stuff is stored way too close to populated areas, I’m doing Roadkill County a service by removing it!”

“You’re such a hypocrite! Shouldn’t a genius like you know—” Stan’s argument halted as his spider sense went off. Not the twinging sense he’d felt when the yellow triangle was around. His proper spider sense, warning him of imminent danger.

“We need to get outta here.” He grabbed Ford.

“Don’t change the subject Stanley, this is serious!”

His brother pulled against Stan's attempts to get out of there and to safety. When Ford broke free he stumbled back into a tall figure. He was about to turn and apologize to the man when he was roughly seized by both arms in a vice-like grip.

"There you are! We've been looking for you. You can't just bail with Rico's valuables."

The man was huge, and Ford fleetingly wondered if he was part Manotaur. His breath certainly smelled like one.

"I-I'm sorry, there must be some sort of mistake." Then the researcher remembered he'd just accused his brother of stealing. No doubt this man had mistaken him for Stanley and was trying to take back whatever had been stolen. "My brother, he's the one who--"

Stan sprang out of nowhere and slugged the guy hard enough to knock him on his rear, and this time he successfully pulled Ford away.

"These guys don't know I have a brother, and I'd like it to stay that way!" Stan hissed, frantically pulling on his mask.

"Why on earth would you care if the carnies know you have a brother!?" Ford asked belligerently.

With another shiver of his spider sense, Stan suddenly pulled Ford to the ground just as a gunshot went off.

"Because this guy isn't a carnie!" Stan answered.

* * *

NEK GPZ GLOEJ OMBIY!

#My Writing #Gravity Falls #Fanfiction #AU #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines

[kairosclerosis--liberosis]

November 2023

Before anything else, I am devastated about Palestine, and continuously try to share and search information through all my other social medias. Honestly, it's haunting to think about the holidays with what's happening to them and other parts of the world that are violently mistreated over and over again. I crave for humanity to come together to end all wars and just have peace for once. I just wanted to express this before this month's post.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November was a long one, so long in fact- I started writing this post on the 16th.

There's this amazingly annoying thing that always happens to me around this time of the year, and that's that I start reflecting a little too much on my past. I mean, I tend to do this a lot but now, I've recently discovered (thanks to my therapist) that these repetitive, tiring, and lingering thoughts might be chalked up to something chemically wrong with me, which honestly feels like a relief compared to me feeling like I can't just let sh*t go. Basically, she thinks I may have a form of OCD (I legit don't care about sharing this because being vocal about mental health has always been top priority to me).

So, I've been assigned this task where every time I feel anxious or see myself grasping on to the same things for way too long, I have to write it down. So, look out world! If you see me outside writing down on a tiny white notebook, that's literally me documenting my anxiety.

Anyways, I'm eager to keep getting to the bottom of this, because it is exhausting always wondering how one scenario could've played out 34,958 different ways, among other things. I sometimes sense that it also has a lot to do with untreated trauma. My whole life I've just kind of sprinted on to the next thing instead of taking a moment and really digest what I just went through, and I think it's all catching up to me now that I live a calm life- which is ironic.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm unhappy, in fact- it's actually that I'm so genuinely glad for where I am now, that it kind of triggers my nervousness of it being taken away from me.

Anyways, I've been keeping more track of that part of me, I guess it's all part of the healing journey.

It's now the 20th, and I've been actively keeping myself busy and filling up my days with chores or just stepping outside and breathing fresh air (I stay indoors 5/7 days a week because of work so...that's something). I'm also still on a weight-loss/fitness journey and I don't talk about it on social media but I've lost over 30 pounds and am currently in my "ideal" weight- according to my nutritionist. This took a year. I've never been a thin person, and I don't think I ever will, but I do feel stronger and a bit more toned, which is nice.

College is blegh. I honestly just want to graduate. The education system on this island is not getting any better and it's concerning. I hope to be done by May.

I've been getting into Audiobooks lately and I love it! It's a great way to catch up with all the reads I just can't get around to. So far I've heard "The Woman In Me" by Britney Spears and "I'm Glad My Mom Died" by Jennette McCurdy. Both were super impactful and worth the listen. I have a few other books lined up before the year ends.

Oh! I'm officially traveling again soon. It'll be over a year since I last left the island and I'm really looking forward to it. It'll be my first ever girls trip! I'm nervous but also excited.

Thanksgiving is this week and all I can say is that I'm grateful for the way life has played out for me, the good and the bad, it has all led me to where I am now, and who I am today. I'm grateful for the people in my life, my husband, my fur babies, my home...I'm grateful to be alive.

I hope you, reader, are doing okay as well.

Here's wishing for the world to get a bit better each day.

#barbjournals

[fittrrmy]

Jackson Galaxy Weight Loss [2023], Before & After Journey

If you are a cat lover, you must’ve heard about Jackson Galaxy. He is famous for his Animal Planet’s “My cat from hell” show. The Cat Daddy has seen so many ups and downs in his life and is very successful in his cat consultant and YouTube career. However, the hardest thing for Galaxy has always been his weight. Jackson was struggling with his weight since he was just “10 years old”. He has recently lost a tremendous amount of weight which has shocked his fans. Fans are asking questions about Jackson’s weight loss. Also Read: Phil Mickelson Weight Loss Here is what we know: Jackson’s Weight Loss Journey As mentioned earlier Jackson struggled with his weight since his early years. At one point in life, Galaxy reached the highly dangerous level of 400 pounds! This experience was life-threatening. Doctors warned Jackson to do something. They advised him to lose weight as soon as possible. He did not have any other quick solution so he chose to undergo weight loss surgery. In 2007, he had gastric bypass surgery that helped him in losing 150 pounds. Surgery was a risk but there were few options and it seemed to have workout out. But soon after Jackson’s surgery, things started going south. Within a period of a year, his weight reached 300 pounds. Once again Jackson was struggling with his weight. Galaxy was very sad at the moment as nothing seemed to work out. However, in 2014, when Galaxy married Minoo Rihbar who showed the path to Jackson and helped him get back in shape. But before we talk about ‘How’, let’s find out the factors behind Jackson’s rapid weight gain: Also Read: Paula Deen Weight Loss How Jackson gained weight There were several factors working behind Galaxy’s unhealthy weight. The main reason why Jackson was struggling with his weight was his bad habits. He loved smoking and drinking. Both habits have a very big potential of gaining one’s weight into a very unhealthy situation. Galaxy also had an addiction. He was addicted to food. Jackson would normally overeat, hence gaining a lot of weight. After his weight-loss surgery, Galaxy quit smoking and drinking but he was still gaining weight. That was because he was still eating lots of unhealthy stuff. Jackson was in love with fast food. Which was now a serious threat to Jackson’s health. It all changed, however, after he married Rihbar. You will also Frank Fritz‘s story about how he lost a tremendous amount of weight. How did Jackson lose weight? With the help of his wife, Minoo, Galaxy started analyzing what he ate the whole day. He came to realize that he was consuming so much junk food that his weight gain was inevitable. He started cutting all the junk food and replacing it with healthy food. In his interview with Lite FM, Galaxy opened up about how he lost weight and how he has turned from a fast-food lover to a vegan. When the interviewer asked him how he lost so much weight, Galaxy replied “Well, first of all, work a lot, don’t sleep, and don’t eat. I work a lot and when you are that active it helps a lot.” Jackson continued “But the main reason is I went Vegan. When I went Vegan it came off. I don’t exercise like crazy because my work is enough.” He continued, “My wife is also a vegan so she was the main reason behind my going vegan.” Galaxy said it was a “very easy transition”. However, becoming vegan wasn’t a quick thing to do. After all, there were many years of love for fast food. Jackson described his journey of becoming vegan as “First of all I cut out all red met then all kinds of fish. Then I went vegetarian and then vegan.” He also doesn’t like the idea of diet, he said “Diets don’t work. The idea ‘oh, I will follow a well-planned diet. I won’t eat this or that’ just doesn’t work. I mean the main idea is it should not feel like a sacrifice.” Galaxy further said “If it feels like a sacrifice then it won’t work. I know a lot of this stuff, I mean I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was 10 years old.” He advised his fans to “go slowly”. Even though Jackson did not go to any gym but he practiced Yoga along with his wife, Minoo. Also Read: Mo’Nique Weight Loss Before & After Weight Loss After battling with weight for almost 2 decades, Jackson’s current weight is about 190 pounds. Getting from 400 to 190 pounds wasn’t easy but Galaxy believed in himself and he achieved it. Why does marriage help Galaxy in overcoming addiction? We, humans, are social animals. We need people around us. We need someone loving around us. In the great majority of food addiction cases, a person falls into such addiction because he feels alone and food gives comfort. Since Jackson got married to Minoo he has overcome nearly every addiction and is living a healthy life. The couple is very happy together and we wish them a very happy and long life. Also Read: James Corden Weight Loss Conclusion Perhaps what we need is just a little help from someone. A little advice from our loved ones. So, never hesitate in asking for help from your loved ones. Maybe they’ve got the solution to your problem. Just like Jackson got help from his wife. As you see how Jackson went from 400 to 190 lbs. It tells us that weight loss is not as much of a big deal as most of us think it is. Also Read: Adam Richman Weight Loss Ralphie May Weight Loss Jerod Mixon Weight Loss Joey Quinn – Desmond Harrington Weight Loss The post Jackson Galaxy Weight Loss , Before & After Journey appeared first on Heal How. Read the full article

#WeightLossStories

[juniorgman187]

Any Day Now (Reid Fic)

A/N: Plz imagine being impregnated by season 10 Spencer Reid. WHEWW CHILE

Summary: Reader’s pregnancy finally takes its toll on her, leaving both Spencer and Reader to navigate through rough waters from miles away.  Category: Fluff, Soft-soft-soft angst, One-Shot Pairing: (POV)Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Content Warning: Pregnancy Word Count: 3.2k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

At first, it was nothing I couldn’t handle.

Multiplied mood swings? Understandable, her hormones were everywhere. 

An ever-changing appetite? Great, at least now it wasn’t such a hassle for her to decide where to eat. 

A suddenly much tighter FBI vest? Well, that’s what the adjustable velcro straps were for. 

Again, nothing that I hadn’t already planned for. Even before I delved into parenting books galore, I had a pretty good general idea of what to expect. Not only because of JJ’s earlier pregnancy or Kate’s recent one, but more so because of my extensive knowledge of the human anatomy. This made riding the storm of (y/n)’s pregnancy easier ... until it didn’t. 

It was somewhere in her 35th week that things finally got the best of her. 

There was a linear increase of events that suggested things were taking a turn for the worse, so I slightly anticipated a steep decline to occur at any moment. For instance, soon after (y/n) started showing, I began to lose count of how many times I had to insert my hand between her seatbelt and her bump to create a gap just big enough so that the belt wouldn’t have such a suffocating restriction on her. Nor could I fully account for all the hours of sleep she’d lost tossing and turning, just trying to find a comfortable position where she wouldn’t be crushed by her own weight. And I certainly couldn’t remember, not even with my eidetic memory, how many times she’s almost walked out of the house completely barefoot after getting frustrated with her inability to put shoes on by herself. 

In some sad way, I knew she wished to regain some normalcy in her life. Not that she regretted motherhood, but that she wished she didn’t have to experience so many small inconveniences that summed up to something larger than the life she was helping come into fruition.

She just wanted to drink coffee again without running the risk of a miscarriage. She wanted to climb up a flight of stairs without getting winded by the first few steps. She wanted to put on a tight shirt without looking exceptionally overweight. And most of all, she just wanted to keep working.

If she had to go to hell and back to stay in the BAU while pregnant, then to hell and back she went. 

My wife, as stubborn as ever, had made me - and the entire team - promise not to baby her as soon as we revealed that we were expecting. 

“I don’t want any of that ‘but you’re pregnant’ crap, got it?” She narrowed her eyes darkly at all of us, pointing an accusatory finger. “Anything you can do, I can do pregnant.”

And from that day on, she did what she vowed to do, what I knew she could do. She still chased after unsubs, shot all the bad guys, arrested the felons, but eventually - inevitably - it wore down on her. 

The easiest effect I could identify was her drowsiness. It used to take her a while to fall asleep on the jet, and sometimes, she’d stay awake the entire flight. But after the grueling hours she’d endured during her pregnancy, we would barely board the plane before she knocked out. I think falling asleep in the seats gave her the comfort she couldn’t find lying horizontally in a bed. No one said anything, though, because she’d already made it explicitly clear that she didn’t want us to pay her any special treatment, which I understood. Nobody likes to be pitied, but after today’s incident, this went far beyond pity. 

It was just plain concern. 

“The doctor said I’ll be fine.” She grumbled, waving me away with a flick of her hand. However, seeing as she was currently lying in a hospital bed, donning a gown that only partially hid from me all the wires and pads that stuck to her body to monitor her health and relay it to the machines - she wasn’t fine. And I needed her to know that I wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was the team. (I didn’t tell her this because she would’ve quite literally took my head off, but they were all out there in the waiting room instead of working on the case). 

“Emphasis on the future tense ‘will.’ You will be fine, but right now, you’re not.” I prepared myself to deliver the news I knew she didn’t want to hear. My voice became significantly quieter, reaching such a low decibel I wasn’t sure she’d even hear it, but maybe that was by design. She didn’t want to hear it as much as I hated to say it. “Maybe you should consider going on maternity leave now.”

Immediately, my wife shook her head with the biggest pout I’d ever seen. I could see it in the way her lip quivered that she was about to cry, no doubt because of the hormones, but especially because this job was her last piece of normality. She clung to it because it was all she had left to remind herself that she was still, in some capacity, the woman she was before. 

“Spencer, please.” She begged, as if I could do anything. “I’m not ready to leave yet.” 

I pursed my lips and looked away for a second to hide my own emotions. Seeing her cry was never easy, but being the cause for it made this even harder. I felt the formation of a lump in my throat and the pricking of tears in my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I croaked. “But I can’t let you keep risking your health,” I explained, neglecting to voice the final part of that sentence. ‘Or our baby’s.’ But I didn’t say that. How could I? It would’ve only guilted her further. 

“Your blood pressure’s getting higher,” I explained, keeping my eyes steady on hers, not letting them stray to the machine that she clearly didn’t know how to read. But with one glance at the numbers, I already knew they weren’t good. I didn’t lead on just how bad they were, though. “You fainted today, and if you’d landed even a little bit differently, you would’ve ended up with a lot more than just a few scratches on your stomach.” That was the extent of my guilt-tripping. It didn’t feel right coming out of my mouth, but it was the only way I knew she would understand the severity of the situation. 

“You were already planning on going on maternity leave next week, what’s a few days earlier?” I asked, briefly referring back to her obstetrician’s recommendation of not flying after her 36th week. 

We both agreed that after week 36, she’d take her leave of absence since she couldn’t join us on the jet anyway. It was our ‘compromise.’ If she insisted on still going in the field, then she had to listen to the doctor’s orders and not fly for the last month. 

“Spencer,” She whispered again, this time with tears running down her cheeks at the bat of her eyes. With the pad of my thumb, I gently wiped them away, wishing I’d never caused them to be there in the first place. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

She never let on how difficult things had become for her. She never said it’s too much (and it must be too much some of the time). So when she finally admitted the burden her pregnancy had created, I could already sense its arrival. So without a second wasted, I pulled the guest chair right up next to her bed and sat in it while reaching for her hand. Despite the presence of the pulse oximetry on her index finger, I still took her hand between both of my own, not minding the gap that the device created. 

“You are the strongest woman I know. There aren’t many pregnant women out there who can do what you’ve done these past eight months. They wouldn’t even think of it.” We shared a brief laugh, which lightened the atmosphere enough to encourage me to continue. “You are bearing our child, (y/n). Nobody else gets to do that. Not me. Not another girl. Just you. It’s only you who can truly give for our baby right now and you’re -you’re my girl ... and right now, I need you to take care of our girl, okay?”

She nodded rapidly with still glistening eyes. For the first time, that day, she stopped thinking her job was as an agent and started knowing her job was as a mother. 

And a damn good one at that. 

_ _ _

If there was anything I’d learned over the past years, it was that I should never expect my wife to follow the rules. Today was no exception. 

She should’ve been in bed right now, taking it easy, but instead, she was standing right beside the jet, saying goodbye to each and every one of us before we boarded. 

This would be our first flight without her. 

“You take care, mama, okay?” Morgan told her, kissing her cheek before waving goodbye. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” Kate sighed, engulfing (y/n) in a hug that I knew couldn’t have been comfortable with each of their bumps in the way, but they relished in it anyway. If I didn’t know any better, it looked like Kate was about to cry. Maybe that’s because their dynamic was different than any other. Their simultaneous pregnancies meant that they knew one another’s struggles far better than any of us could, so granted, it would be hard for Kate and (y/n) to be away from each other. They’d been in this journey together after all, in a way I couldn’t have been.

“Oh,” JJ sighed happily, taking (y/n) in her arms and swaying gently from side to side. “You are going to be the best mother ever.” 

“Said the best mother ever.” (Y/n) remarked, laughing bittersweetly. It was something in her smile that let me know it was just for show. 

Then, in one of the rarest moments of history, Hotch hugged (y/n), earning a slightly more real smile from her.

“Get some rest. You deserve it.” He whispered. 

Not even a second after they pulled away did Rossi wait to take (y/n)’s face in his hands and plant two kisses, one on either cheek. 

“If you need anything, you call us.” He ordered, mimicking a drill sergeant.

And though, I wasn’t ready, I found myself making my way to her, getting ready for one of the hardest goodbyes. 

She wrapped her arms around my torso and let her head press against my heart. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do this without you.” 

For the first time that night, she wasn’t faking a smile or putting on a face. I knew when she was saying goodbye that she was only laughing and grinning for everyone else, but underneath it all, she was experiencing a great sadness that no one else could understand. Everyone was just as excited as we were for this baby, if for no other reason than I was finally going to have a family of my own. That I’d finally found the people who were going to be there for me forever. And maybe it was that knowledge, the knowledge of how happy this baby made others, was the reason she never let it show just how hard it was for her. Otherwise, it’d ruin the fantasy. And so she wore happiness like a mask to hide the profound pain that would’ve wounded our spirits. 

“Hey, I’m not leaving you forever,” I whispered somberly, hugging her a little tighter. “And if anything happens, I’m just a phone call away.” As much as I tried to believe my words, neither of us could find the truth in it. Even I knew I wasn’t just a phone call away. I’d be miles and miles and miles away from two of the best things that have ever happened from me. 

She inhaled sharply and pulled away from me, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the hope that I hadn’t already seen them. “I should probably let you go now.” She laughed lightly. 

Our bodies parted, but I had yet to let go of her hand. I shook it up and down gently as I told her, “I love you.”

She shook my hand back in just the same manner. “We love you, too.” 

A smile crept onto my face after the immediate realization of what she meant. 

My girls.

At last, when I walked up the steps to the jet, I finally let go of her hand at the last moment possible, and even after we released hands, our arms stayed outstretched for a passing second as the distance between them got further and further. With the warmth of her hand leaving mine vacantly cold, I watched as she replaced it on the very top of her stomach, as if to say, “We’ll be okay.” 

_ _ _

“Reid?” 

I refocused my vision to Morgan who was calling my name. From the look on his face, I realized he probably tried to get my attention multiple times before this. 

“Sorry, what did you say?” I shook my head to clear my mind, but it didn’t work. A part of me was still in another world, lingering in thought. 

My mind would never shut up about her, but it seemed like today, it was firing all these things at me at 2x speed. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact event that I felt guilty for, but really - take your pick. It could’ve been anything, it could’ve been everything. 

It could’ve been the fact that I was here and she wasn’t. It could’ve been the fact that in those last moments I saw her, I realized just how strong she was being this entire time, and how I was asking her to be even stronger, as if the weight of the world wasn’t enough. It could’ve been the realization that she was struggling this entire time, but never asked for help, thinking that she’d be a burden - the very thing she made us promise not to let her be. That is the reason after all, that she told us not to let her pregnancy be an excuse for anything. Because if she didn’t contribute anything, then she’d be holding us back - she’d be dead weight. I knew that, and yet, what did I do?

Nothing. I walked away and boarded that fucking jet like a brainless idiot.

I should’ve stayed with her. 

Morgan’s eyes turned to slits while he tossed the manila folder onto the table, seemingly setting it aside so it wouldn’t be a distraction from his question. “What’s going on, man?” 

I shrugged, pretending not to know exactly what he was talking about. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just zoned out, that’s all.” 

Clearly exasperated, he said, “Come on, man. Don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

Whether it was defeat or a sweet surrender, I tucked my hands in my pockets and let my head hang low, eyes glued to the ground. Unexpectedly, I was sniffling and wiping my nose before I could register that tears were already coming. “I’m just worried about her.” 

It felt stupid to admit, especially considering I saw her only 8 hours, 37 minutes, and 12 seconds ago. But the absence of her and our baby was growing more and more apparent with every passing moment I spent in this office without her. Usually, she would be here to keep me company, bothering me while I located the comfort zone - not that she ever really did bother me. I quite liked her presence. 

Sometimes, when I was left alone, the room would get too quiet, and it’d just be me and my thoughts. And maybe she knew how scared of my own mind I was when it wandered, so she never let me be alone with it - never let the room get too quiet. She would talk and talk and talk, and I could never get tired of listening. Her voice was like white noise. If she was here, things would be as they always were. I would be standing at the map, and she’d no doubt be sitting in a chair, rubbing gentle circles around her protruding stomach as I felt her watching me intently. 

“Found it.” I would say, drawing a big red circle around the zone. 

To which she would say, “You’re a genius.” 

Sure, I’ve been called ‘genius’ a million times before, but it never felt the same as when she said it. 

Morgan could see the invisible pain in my chest, and he pulled me in by my shoulder to wrap his arm around me. It might not have looked like it, but it was the most reassuring hug he could’ve given me. I can’t explain it, but it felt like (y/n)’s warmth and love had possessed his body and he was radiating it now. 

“I know it’s scary, man, and honestly, we all wish we could be with her right now. But trust me when I tell you she’s not alone.” He treaded carefully with his words, and I could tell there was something he wasn’t saying but that wanted me to figure out.

I didn’t even have to verbalize my question because soon enough, when Morgan pulled back, his phone began to ring.

“It’s Garcia.” He told me, though he didn’t answer the call, which was weird enough. But then he gestured to the computer on the table, and so I half-heartedly watched as the screen changed from the blue background to a video call with Garcia. 

And who else would be sitting beside her but my wife?

“Look who I’ve got with me!” Garcia squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly.

“You’re supposed to be on bedrest.” I playfully scolded her.

“I was! I was, I promise. But after I said goodbye to you guys, I went home and got four hours of sleep, and then I went to my doctors appointment, but then when I was driving home, I thought why would I go back there when I’ve got everything I need right here?” She motioned around Garcia’s lair, even lifting up a hospital-go bag that Penelope no doubt compiled just for her. If there was anyone I trusted to take good care of her, it was Garcia. 

Like I said before, I learned to expect (y/n) not to follow the rules. So naturally, she found a way to still work even on maternity leave. 

At this point, the rest of the team neatly filed into the room, erupting in cheers of excitement at the sight of (y/n) in the bat cave. 

“Is everything okay?” JJ worriedly asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine! Baby looks good, my blood pressure’s getting better, so we’re doing okay.” She smiled proudly, and so did I. That was her first appointment on her own, and though it couldn’t have been easy, especially this late in her term, she did it anyway. Because that’s my girl.  

“When are you due, again?” Kate asked (y/n), earning an enthusiastic, “Doctor says if she’s on time, New Year’s Eve!” 

It never failed to make me smile whenever she brought up her due date. She was always excited to proclaim that our daughter might be brought into the world at the exact time we brought in the new year. 

“But if I’m early, it could be any day now.” She explained. 

Here’s where I had to cut in. “Hopefully not any day now! I don’t wanna miss it.” 

“You won’t!” She promised through a wide grin.

Something else you should know about my girl? She always keeps her promises. 

And on January 1, at exactly 12:00 - just as promised - I had the privilege of watching (y/n) deliver a healthy 6 pound and 9 ounce baby girl.

The weight of my whole world.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

Can you tell I love it when someone says “my girl”? I think that’s my favorite pet name ever. 

taglist: @rainsong01 @calm-and-doctor​ @inkstainedwritergirl​ @rexorangecouny​

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#spencer reid #spencer reid pregnant #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fluff #juniorgman187 #any day now

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato [Track 1]

Original title: 穏やかな日々

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru

Translator’s note: I’m so excited to be able to deliver the latest installment of the DL Drama CD series to you guys! I honestly did not expect to be able to do it this early but I was able to get the CD for really cheap myself so here I am! I already listened to the CD once to write up a summary which honestly helped me out a lot. I still knew some of the lines and events when I got to translating it in detail, which sped up the process by a lot! uwu 

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: Peaceful Days

Ayato stands on top of Kaminashi tower.

“...What a nice view. Guess this old, worn-down tower isn’t too shabby to look down at the city. Hehe...”

He looks down.

“Hah. When lookin’ down at them from above, everythin’ really looks so tiny and insignificant. So pitiful, I’m almost brought to tears. Haah...All because of that stupid lil’ human, I’m thisーー ...Ugh... Pathetic. ...I need more...of her blood...Kuhーー!”

*FLASHBACK STARTS*

Ayato is sucking your blood in the living room.

*Sluuuuurp*

*Rustle*

“...Heh. Why you lookin’ at me like that? Are you that upset I attacked you in your sleep? You’ve only got yourself to blame for snoozin’ on the couch in a house full of a Vampires.”

You try and defend yourself.

“Like I give a damn! Whether you were tired or not, you’re basically beggin’ me to jump you. Prey that lets down its guard can’t complain ‘bout bein’ devoured like this. Just give up.”

He continues sucking your blood.

*Sluuuurp*

“Stop makin’ a fuss. ...Or do you want me to suck you even more, perhaps? From this throat? ...In that case, I’ll gladly grant your wish.”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hehehe...That’s a nice expression you’re making. Show me more. Mmh...”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hah...You’ve got that dreamy look in your eyes. ...Despite all those complaints, in the end you still enjoy it, huh?”

You tell him to stop.

“...Eh? You really think I’m satisfied with that much? Besides, you don’t have the right to defy me. Just behave and enjoy the ride.”

*Sluuuurp*

“ーー Hah! ...Not yet...I still haven’t had nearly enough.”

You insist that you’ll go crazy if he doesn’t stop soon.

“Hehehe...So what if you go crazy? If you think that’s gonna convince me to let you go, you’re way too naive. (1)”

You continue to protest. 

“I’m sure you know that very well, don’t you?”

*Sluuuurp*

“...Che! Geez, throwin’ in the towel already? What’s with that attitude when I’m out here givin’ you my full attention?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Heh. ...Too late to apologize now.”

You apologize again.

“Stop sayin’ sorry already! ...Actually, in that caseーー”

*Rustle rustle*

“Haah...Whatever. I’ve lost interest.”

You frown, asking why he is upset. 

“...Fuck off! I’m not upset! ...And stop pokin’ me! It tickles! Lay it off!”

*Rustle*

“Don’t try and get cute with me! ...Anyway, haven’t you been droppin’ a lot of weight as of late? Are you eatin’ properly?”

You ask if he is worried about you.

“Haah...? I’m not worried or anythin’...! I just prefer my girls to have some meat on her bones, that’s all. Right now your tits are so pathetic, it kills my appetite.”

You chuckle.

“...Oi! You laughed just now, didn’t you? Dependin’ on your reasoning, you won’t get away with it! Tell me!”

You explain.

“...Aah!? You think I’m kind!?”

You tell him he stopped sucking your blood because he must have been worried about your health. 

“I just told you I’m not worried, didn’t I!? I only stopped because the mood got ruined! Don’t assume I wouldn’t suck you till the very limit! Stop gettin’ ahead of yourself! It’s totally different! Idiotー! Ms. Misunderstanding Chichinashi! (3) Don’t you ever dare say such stuff again!”

You play off his complaints. 

“What’s with that haphazard answer!? Are you mockin’ me!?”

You giggle again.

“ーー Geez! Get off your high horse already. Hmph! ...Ah, fuck, this pisses me off. Meanwhile I’m over here strugglin’ ‘cause I’ve been more thirsty than usual as of late...Haah...”

You offer to drink some juice. 

“Don’t be fuckin’ kiddin’ me! I wouldn’t be sufferin’ this much if some juice could do the trick! ...You’ve been pokin’ fun at me this whole time, haven’t you? Your blood is the only thing which can quench this thirst. Yet you’re bein’ all stingy with it...Ugh! Geez! Isn’t there some other way!? ...Something that’ll lift my mood at once! Take your responsibility and put some serious thought into that! Things turned out this way ‘cause of you after all! If you can’t think of anything, I’ll suck your blood!”

You immediately think of something.

“Oh? What is it? Tell me.”

You offer going on a walk together.

“Ah? A walk? Listen up…Were you even listenin’ to what I said!? I told you I wanted to do somethin’ to lift my mood, remember? So how exactly will a walk lift my mood? If anything, it’s gonna fuckin’ ruin it! Don’t be kiddin’ me! ...I don’t give a damn if you recently discovered this place or not, che…Anyway,  it’s a no.”

ーー Well then…Guess it’s time for your punishment?”

You try and reason with him one more time.

“Nah, I’m not waitin’ and I’m not goin’ either. Even sleepin’ would still be better than that!”

You pout.

“…The fuck you gettin’ all depressed for?  Ahー Geez! Fine!! I just gotta go, right!? Fine, fine, guess I’ve got no other choice then. I’m a total gentleman after all!”

You thank him, smiling.

“...Hmph. Look at you gettin’ all happy over small things like a lil’ kid. Ah, but...”

Ayato looks out of the window.

“Take a look. It’s pourin’ like crazy outside. Doesn’t seem like it’ll clear up any time soon either. Havin’ to go on a walk with our umbrellas seems like way too much of a chore.”

You ask if you can go on a walk some other time. 

“Fine. Next time then, okay? ...It’s a fuckin’ pain in the ass, but whatever.”

You seem happy.

“Don’t rejoice just yet. You’re draggin’ me outside, so you’ll at least make sure I’m entertained, right? If not, I won’t have any mercy. You better be prepared to get sucked dry by me if it’s boring. Hahaha...Suddenly I’m lookin’ forward to this.”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 甘い or ‘amai’ usually means ‘sweet’, but it can also be used to call someone ‘weak’ or ‘naive’. 

(2) Ayato literally says something along the lines of ‘the parts which can stick out should do so’, which refers to curves (or the lack thereof) on girls. 

(3) In Japanese, he calls her 勘違いチチナシ女 or ‘kanchigai chicihinashi onna’ which literally means ‘misunderstanding titless woman’. 

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #ayato sakamaki #diabolik lovers daylight #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

[ray-ray-writings]

Faking Happy-Platonic!Awesamdude

#105 from this prompt list! Check out my masterlist here!

This is a platonic!awesamdude x gn!reader in the dreamsmp! Reader is also Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy’s sibling, although that isn’t really hit on a lot. 

Trigger Warnings: Depressive behavior such as overeating, overeating unhealthy foods.

The bottle Y/N has been filling with their emotions finally tips over and overflows. 

Y/N’s POV

I let out a sniff as I wiped at my nose. I don’t know what is wrong with me recently. It just felt like everything had gone to shit. Tommy had been exiled. Techno moved super far away. Wilbur is dead and Ghostbur remembers basically nothing. And worst of allI haven’t been able to see my best friend for a long time. Sam had been my best friend for as long as I can remember. 

We met when I was attempting to add some flare to my house with redstone and nothing I was doing was working. I asked around and many pointed me in the direction of Sam. He helped me out a lot, and by that I mean he did it all. Finishing the project did not stop him from coming over almost everyday and from then on one was rarely seen without the other. 

But a few days after Tommy’s exile, Dream came to Sam with a stack of diamond blocks. Dream asked Sam to build him a prison. But not just any type of prison. An inescapable prison. One where if someone were to be put in there, they wouldn’t be able to escape. It took days of planning but Sam finally got the blue prints and then he went to work. 

Every once in a while I would pop by and visit him. He would show me what he was doing and tell me all about it. But the more I visited, the shorter the tours and explanations got until finally all I got was a simple wave. I haven’t been back to the construction site since that day. 

My chest felt so heavy. I missed my best friend with everything I had. But I couldn’t let others see that. Anytime I went out. I plastered a fake smile on my face. I gave everyone cheerful smiles and waves as I passed through. I made time to stop and chat with Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and Ranboo. Always being sure to fake laugh at their jokes and waving off their worries and concerns. I would pop into Niki’s bakery, buying all the sweets that I could so I could binge eat them when I’m feeling lonely. Niki would always give me a supportive smile whenever I bought my weight in sweets but would never question me, something I would forever be grateful for. Life had just not been kind to me. 

A knock on my front door startled me out of my crying pity party. I quickly rubbed the tears from my eyes and took some deep breaths, trying to calm myself enough so that it looked like I hadn’t been crying my eyes out. The knock sounded once more, this time more demanding. “Coming!” I managed to croak out. I stood from my couch and quickly made my way to the door. With my hand on the handle I took one more deep breath before plastering the biggest smile I could muster on my face. I swung the door open and gasped in surprise. 

“Sam! What are you doing here?!” I exclaimed in surprise. Sam querked an eyebrow at the question, “What do you mean? Do I have to have a reason to come and see my best friend?” The tall man questioned. “No, no, no!” I rushed, moving out of the doorway to let him in, “It’s just I thought you were too busy with the prison to come visit me” I admitted, tucking hair behind my ear. Sam’s face slightly fell at my confession. He cleared his throat as he entered my home, “I’m never too busy to see you.” He stated walking further into my home. I let out a tiny scoff as I shut the door. “We both know that’s not true.” I muttered under my breath. 

I found Sam in my kitchen, staring at the slight mess of baked goods. “So, how’ve you been?” Sam questioned, brushing a cupcake wrapper out of his way. “Oh, I’ve been good… Yeah good.” I lied through my teeth. “How have you been?” Sam silently stared at me. “Y/N?” He asked, not answering my question. “Yeah?” I responded, not looking at him. “Are you lying to me?” Damn it. Sam had always been able to tell when I wasn’t telling him the truth. I was hoping that maybe that being away from him for so long, his ability would lessen. 

“What? No! Why would you think that?!” I claimed incredulously, slightly glancing at him, hoping to throw him off. “You are! You are lying to me! You haven’t been good have you?” He pressed harder. I swallowed harshly, my mouth felt dry. “I’m not lying. I’ve been good! I’m happy! See!” I exclaimed, looking at him and giving him a big fake grin, “Now tell me how you’ve been, how’s the prison going?” I questioned, trying desperately to get the topic off of me. “Prison’s fine. Now tell me how you’ve really been. Why haven’t you been happy?” I couldn’t help but scoff and roll my eyes, “Sam, I told you I’m fine! I’m happy. I’ve been happy. Now will you please just lay off and leave me alone about it?” I snapped harshly, maybe too harshly. 

Sam’s eyes widened at my tone. His face screamed hurt which made my stomach twist in guilt. “Sam,” I began gently, trying to move forward but he recoiled. “You know what? I’ve got to go,” He stated plainly. Sam moved out of my kitchen and back toward the front door. “Sam!” I pleaded, trying to get him to stay for a moment. He wasn’t listening. “I’ve got to go back to work at the prison. Dream needs it done soon.” He claimed, throwing open my front door and taking a few steps out. I followed him and was met with cold water hitting my face. It was raining… perfect. “Sam, please listen to me. Let me explain,” I begged the man I called my best friend. Sam pulled out his enchanted trident from his inventory. I knew he was about to fly away. “You know Y/N,” Sam stated, pausing after taking his trident out, “You’re my best friend. I want nothing more in this world for you to be happy. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.” “Sam” I choked out, silently praying that he would turn around and hear me out. My prayers weren’t answered. “Goodbye Y/N” And with a flash of lighting, he was gone. 

My legs gave out from beneath me. For once, I allowed myself to break down outside the comfort of my home. I sat there outside of my front door, sobbing in the rain. I didn’t care who saw me at this point. I had lost my best friend. “Y/N?” I heard a sweet voice call. I didn’t register them in front of me. They helped me stand up and go back inside of my house. They closed the door and helped me sit down on the floor in front of my door. I don’t know how long I sobbed in their chest. But they held me and stroked my hair. 

When the tears vacated my eyes, I was able to see that the sweet voice had belonged to none other than Niki. When our eyes met, she gave me a soft smile. “I knew something was going on with you, but I never wanted to over step. You want to talk about it?” She questioned softly. I mentally debated with myself before deciding that yes, I did want to talk about it. And so I told Niki everything. She patiently listened and nodded along to show she was listening and interested. And when I was done, she sat for a moment to digest everything. 

“You need to talk to him,” She declared after a moment, “He’s your best friend and he deserves to know how you feel. Especially if you’re feeling like this.” I let out a sigh and nodded. “You’re right. But after today, I’m not sure he would want to see me.” “Your best friend as much as he is yours. I’m sure he would love to see you.” Silence settled between us for a brief moment. “Okay,” I claimed slowly standing up. “I’m going to go see him… and I’m going to take a pumpkin pie.” Niki let out a giggle as she stood up as well. “Oh I’m sure he’ll love that.” We both laughed at that. Sam had always been a sucker for Niki’s pumpkin pie. 

I thanked Niki profusely for helping me and listening to me. She assured me that it was no problem and then she left. I quickly packed for the small journey to the prison, making sure not to forget the pie and then I set out. It didn’t take me too long to get there, the many times I had made this trek before really came in handy. The walk was now basically muscle memory, I could do it with my eyes closed. Which was good considering my eyes were really puffy from crying. 

I let out a deep breath as the prison came into view. I noticed that the outside was a lot more finished than when I was here last, but I could tell there was still work to be done. I quickly made my way to the entrance and stopped in the doorway. My eyes scanned around and didn’t see him. My shoulders deflated in defeat, maybe he already left for the day and I missed him. 

“Y/N?” A voice called from behind me causing me to jump. I whipped around and came face to face with the man I was looking for. “Hey,” I greeted sheepishly, taking a small step forward. “What are you doing here?” He questioned, a stony expression set on his face. “I… Uhh. I came to apologize and explain.” I confessed. His hard expression fell from his face. “Go on…” I took a deep breath before nodding. And so I let everything spill out of me. I told him all about how I felt like I had lost all of my brothers. I literally lost Wilbur and the other two are so far away, I might as well have lost them too. On top of that, I told him how not seeing him had affected me and my mental health. How I had been faking being happy because I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. I admitted to him my unhealthy habits of buying as much as I could from Niki’s and then binge eating instead of facing my feelings. And finally I told him that seeing him today and him calling me out just caused everything to break in me. 

“I am really really sorry for what I said to you Sam. I didn’t mean it. I don’t want you to lay off. I don’t want you to leave me alone. I always want you to bother me and check up on me and talk to me. You’re my best friend and I love you.” I finished, a single tear falling down my cheek. Sam didn’t hesitate, he rushed forward and wrapped me up in his arms and held me close to his chest. He brought his head down and rested his chin on the top of my head as we hugged. “Thank you for apologizing,” He murmured, “I love you too. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you were hurting sooner. I promise that I will bother you everyday if need be. I never want you feeling like that again.” “I’ll hold you to that promise. If it means I get to go back to seeing you everyday, count me in.” I stated with a grin, tilting my head to look into his eyes. I felt Sam’s chest rumble as he chuckled at my statement but said nothing else.

After a few more moments of hugging, I suddenly remembered my surprise for him. “Oh!” I gasped, unwrapping myself from my best friend’s hold, “I brought you something!” I carefully pulled the pie out of my backpack and presented it to Sam. “Tada!” I exclaimed, extending the pie to my bestie. Sam let out a gasp as he accepted the gift. “A Pumpkin pie? From Niki’s?? Oh you’re actually the best!” Sam exclaimed, grabbing the spoon I had brought him as well and immediately began digging in. I let out a laugh as he shoved the pumpkin dessert in his mouth. “What?” He questioned, his mouth full. I shook my head as I giggled, “Nothing. Nothing at all.” 

There you go! I hope you guys enjoyed it! If you did, please be sure to leave a like!

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt one shot #awesamdude #awesamdude imagine #awesamdude x reader #mcyt drabble #dream #dreamsmp #dream smp #dreamsmp imagine #dream smp imagine #ray ray writings #ray-ray-writings #prompt #requested #faking happy

[sweetwritertanya]

Nothing To Be Jealous About (Jungkook)

A/N: Hello everyone! I’m here to announce a new BTS series that I am starting! I had this idea to make a ‘jealous series’ with the boys a long time ago and it felt right to do it now. I had this idea for Jungkook’s story and I just had to write it. I don’t know if the others will get a fic as long as this one, but we’ll see! Hope you all enjoy it!

Edit: This is also my first ever moodboard or however you call it for one of my fics! Because I always have a outfit in mind for both the reader and the member, I thought it made sense to add a moodboard. I don’t think I’ll do it for all of my fics, but I’ll try with this series. Tell me what you think! Should I keep doing it? Does it help as you read? Also, big thanks to @tipsydipsydo​ for her guidance when I asked about her own moodboards! She’s a cutiepie!

Summary: For the first time since you started working out, you go to the gym with Jungkook. Afraid for how he would feel seeing someone your size exercising, his reaction turns out to be what you least expected from him.

Warnings: SMUT!!! Do be prepared for: swearing, erotic body touching, marking, oral (female receiving), protected sex (trying to make it a more common thing in this blog), rough sex, sex on the floor, missionary position, a bit of a possessive Jungkook, but he gets softer and sweeter by the end.

Word Count: 3280

You knew it would be a bad idea to go with Jungkook to the gym, which was why you always came up with excuses to avoid it. For months and months, you had been going alone to the gym, purposely on a different schedule from your boyfriend. However, turns out that the reasons you shouldn’t have gone to the gym with Jungkook were a lot different than what you had assume.

Naturally, in your head, the main reason for preferring to go alone was because you didn’t want him to see you exercising. Being a big girl that only recently started to work out for health benefits, to say you would be embarrassed of him witnessing your routine would be an understatement.  There would be sweat, there would be tears, there would be a flushed bare face and dirty hair that you had no intentions of him ever seeing.

But, as you found out, life had an ironic sense of humor. Unable to find a reason to deny Jungkook’s invitation this time, you were currently doing push-ups as your trainer guided you, loudly counting as you went, numbers getting further and further apart from how slow you were going due to how tired you were.

You had asked him to start your training on the opposite side of the room from where Jungkook was, hoping that would somehow make him forget you were even there and not see your humiliating state. As you got up and the huge muscular man in front of you asked you to get ready to start the much-hated burpees, you cast a glance towards the younger man, perplexed when you saw his state.

Jungkook was not working out at all. He was sitting at the seated arm curl, two heavy dumbbells on the ground next to his feet. That on itself was confusing, since he took his training at the gym very seriously and would only stop to catch his breath. Yet, it looked as if he hadn’t even started exercising. The most shocking part was the way he was staring at you. No, actually, he was rather glaring at your personal trainer.

Bushy sharp eyebrows furrowed deeply, lines scrunching his button nose, pouting lips pulled down and usually sweet doe eyes turned dark and angry, round shape lost as he squinted heatedly at the man in front of you. Your trainer tapped your arm to catch your attention again, asking if you were ready to continue. You look back at Jungkook only to realize he had completely looked away, picked up the dumbbells and started lifting them, a bit too speedily if you had to say.

Still unsure of what was going on, you actually told him that you were done for the day. Taking a few sips of water and cleaning your sweaty face with a towel, you hesitantly walk towards Jungkook, who was now seemingly focused on what he was doing, not sparing a look your way when you approached him.

“Hey, Kook, I’m done for the day” you inform him, stopping a few feet from his right.

“Yeah? You sure your trainer doesn’t mind?” he dryly asks, not stopping his movements or regarding you at all, confusing you further.

“I… I stopped earlier than usual, actually… James probably would have wanted me to go on for a while longer.” You tried to ignore that pang in your heart that told you Jungkook was judging you, that he was offended you only worked out this much. That he expected more from you.

“James? You’re even on a first name basis…” he puffs in frustration.

Jungkook places the dumbbells he was using down and turns his head the other way from you, elbows rested on top of his knees, hands clutching together and foot tapping persistently on the ground. You realize it then. It creeps up on you, the realization that left your mouth hanging open in incredulity.

“Wait… Are you… Are you jealous, Kook?” The skepticism was evident in your voice.

The boy stands up suddenly, looking at you as if you’re crazy, but his body language spoke volumes. He crossed his arms, eyebrows still pulled together, cheeks puffed and lips in a pout, weight shifting from foot to foot. A hurt look behind his avoiding eyes.

“Oh my God, you are!” And you actually chuckle at that, not only from how ridiculous that sounded to you, but from the pure relief washing over you at that notion. You were not the one bothering him, your personal trainer was. Not that he would confess it any time soon.

“No, I’m not! I am, however, done for today. Let’s go.”

He basically stomps away, making a bee-line for the male dressing rooms while you made way into the woman’s one. You would be lying if it didn’t feel flattering knowing such a good-looking man like Jungkook could grow jealous because of you. There was a stupid grin on your face that you just couldn’t wipe off.

You stayed silent the ride home, trying to hide your smile from Jungkook’s view so as to not distract him while he was driving. But you couldn’t help the glances you threw his way, curious as to what brought this jealousy up. As far as you know, your personal trainer remained very professional with you, there was no flirting going on at all.

Once home, Jungkook crashed down on the sofa in the living room, ready to spend the rest of the day playing video games and ignoring you. But of course, you wouldn’t let the misunderstanding go on any longer.

“Jungkook, why the hell are you like this? There is nothing to be jealous about!” you reassure coming to stand in front of him, between the sofa and the screen of the television. He opens his mouth in upcoming defiance, obviously about to deny it yet again, but you don’t let him. “And don’t tell me you are not. I know you, Kook. Now, let’s talk about it. Or do you wanna be mad forever?”

It’s your turn to cross your arms over your chest and lean you head to the side as you lift one of your eyebrows, awaiting his response. The boy looks down, thinking about your words, before sighing and leaning back on the couch, hands fidgeting on his lap and looking away to the side.

“You’re the one keeping things from me” he accuses, albeit in a small voice.

“What? I’m not” you defend yourself, baffled.

“Now I know why you always avoided going with me to the gym. You didn’t want me to see you with your personal trainer. Oh, sorry, is ‘James’, isn’t it?” Still not looking at you, the sulking boy almost spits the name, vexed.

Finally understanding, even if his conclusion was a bit of a stretch, you feel for him. You kneel down on the carpet in front of him, catching his hands on yours and making him look at you. Once he does, still suspicious, you just smile warmly up at him.

“Kook, I was embarrassed of you seeing me in the gym. It had nothing to do with that guy” you explain patiently. “Honestly, did you notice how I look when I go to the gym? No one will be interested in this!” You point at yourself, fat, in comfortable but unflattering workout clothes and with no make-up on.

“Stop it. I saw the way he looked at you. I saw him taking advantage and touching you” he accused, plump bottom lip puckering further.

“Touch? Were you seeing things? He never touched me” you countered, shaking your head.

That’s when Jungkook launches forward, grabbing you by the shoulders and making you yelp in surprise as you lean back and somehow end up lying flat on the carpet. Before you can even process what was going on, he latches his mouth to the side of your neck and sucks on the skin harshly, for sure leaving a bruise. You hiss at the pain, but can’t deny the fact that it sent jolts straight to your core, your skin hyper sensitive to his abusing lips.

“Right here while you were doing crunches” he barks, voice still small but irradiating bitterness.

“Wha…?” Your brain still jumbled, you just vaguely stare up at him as you try to remember anything of the sort. You recalled your trainer having to help you going up on the last few crunches, one hand leveraging at the base of your neck.

Before you could ask him if that was what he was referring to, Jungkook leans back down and does the same treatment to your left arm, actually biting down with his teeth just enough to leave the small indentation of his teeth on the first layer of your skin.

“And right here, obviously trying to get your attention.” The memory of that seems to leave him even more infuriated, deep frustrating line scrunching the bridge of his nose and jawline tensing up tremendously. His big round eyes settle on yours with intensity and you lose your voice for a moment. “But you’re mine, right? You are my girl, my girlfriend, no one else’s, right?”

You nod your head, still in absolute disbelief that this gorgeous human being hoovering above you had any doubts about that. Your hands sooth the skin of his strong arms that were holding him up, words finally coming to you again.

“Of course, Kook. I’m all yours, always will be” you promise, trying to convey your honesty through your eyes.

“I’ll prove it to them. Leave my marks all over your body so they can see it.”

The rasp on his usual sweet voice had you swallowing dry and heat pools at your center. Damn, he was so hot like this. And then he actually takes actions to his words and pulls your t-shirt up, revealing your stomach that he launches for and nips and sucks on the flesh, deep bites and squeezes of his hands that you no doubt would see the next day. You jeer, but the pain mixes with pleasure and the noises that come out start sounding more like moans than anything.

And then he moves further down, avid hands grabbing at the fabric of your sweatpants and pulling them down your thick thighs, leaving them bare for him. Nuzzling comfortably between your legs, he takes no time pull at the meat of your fluffy inner thighs, sucking from just above your knee to the junction of where your leg meets your pelvis. Your whole body feels like it’s overheating and your heart hammers in your chest, each hickey closer to your womanhood leaving more and more wet. But then he focuses on your other leg, lifting your knee and leaving another trail up that thigh, completely ignoring how needy you were.

“K-Kook!” you plea, your hands grasping at the ones clawing your hips, begging them silently. “Please.”

Your hips are stuttering, moving out of their own accord in search of any kind of relief for the hellish crave staining your panties. Never one to deny you of anything your asked, Jungkook holds down your hips with sprawled hands putting pressure on your lower belly as he mouthed your pussy over the cotton fabric. You scream because it’s relieving and not enough at all. Even through the cloth, Jungkook finds your engorged clit and doesn’t hesitate to suck on it too, making you wail and arch your back off the ground, head falling back and eyes closing at the maddening feeling.

The bastard stays like that for a while, driving your absolute mad, giving you just enough to drive you to the edge and still not nearly enough to send your over. Your panties are absolutely drenched in a mix of your juices and his saliva, and you try to close your legs around his head in hopes to keep him there long enough for you to reach any kind of satisfaction, but being the strong man that he was, Jungkook easily parts your legs away and crawls back up your body, sculptural face hoovering mere inches from yours.

You open your eyes to see his full black ones, veiled with unmasked desire and lust, puffy cheeks red and lips swollen from all of their work on you. Fuck, he looked so heavenly like this.

“Now they’ll know, if they dare come this near to you. That you are already taken. That you are mine to hold and kiss and fuck. Right?”

You are not sure how he manages, but he sounds both possessive and insecure at the same time, obviously determined to let anyone know you were his but still uncertain enough to always ask for your confirmation. Smiling, you take his face in your hands and pull him in for a much awaited kiss after your response.

“Absolutely right.”

You are the one who pulled him in, but he is the one desperate, frantic in the kiss, claiming your lips violently and deepening it so his tongue scans every small inch of your mouth, as if making sure it was just as he remembered. Locking your hands behind his neck, you respond in what you hope is a similar way, passing on all the love and comfort you could in this one long toe-curling kiss.

Amongst everything, you could not be sure when he did it, but as you latched your bulky legs around his lean waist and pulled him in, you find that he was already undressed from the waist down. His thick, throbbing member was pressed against the stained panties still left as a barrier.

Resting in one arm, holding him up, Jungkook’s free hand roams down your curvaceous body and fingers hook around the side of your underwear, at the same time he whispers a question in your ear with a hoarse voice.

“Pill?”

“All good” you eagerly reply, letting him know you had been careful and it should be okay.

Panties bunched up around your left ankle, Jungkook rubs his cock between your folds in a few strokes, working you both up and coating himself. But you were already so worked up and sexually frustrated that you clawed at his magnificent muscular ass and pulled him closer, at the same time your hips thrusted upwards into him. Failing to get him where you wanted, you growl.

“Now, Jungkook! I need you now!” you exclaim.

“Yeah, I want to hear you scream my name, baby. My name only” he encourages in a pleased tone.

Suddenly, two hands grab your legs from the back of your knee and hoists them up until you are basically bent in half, thighs pressed against your breasts. One swift movement of his hips and Jungkook impales you with his dick, the first thrust strong and deep and succulent. You moan loudly from relief, your clenching walls finally clinging on to something, finally stretched in the most pleasant of ways. Even with the white noise settling in and your own whine still ringing in the air, you still hear the tale-end of Jungkook’s own groan, hands still holding your legs up and kneeling with his pelvis pressed against yours, back standing stiff and eyes closed, lips slightly parted. He was obviously needing this as much as you.

Doe eyes slit open to meet with yours and he bents down over you, reaching for your lips and kissing you at the same time he starts moving. You hold on to his shoulders, but the pace grows quicker and quicker until it’s borderline punishing and you scream out at how good it feels, the way his cock drags at that fast pace against your inner walls, the tip kissing the end of that carnal tunnel and hitting that deep spot that makes you see stars behind your eyes. You let go of his lips in favor of screaming his name next to his ear and he continues the inhumane pace.

“That’s it. Scream my name. Scream it” he cheers on, his own voice stuttering at the focus to keep himself in check. “Scream it loud as you cum around me, love.”

The pressure deep in your womb was building rapidly with each rapid ramming. Jungkook was sweating and flushed red from head to toe, breathing heavily and closing his eyes in search of self-control. He rests your legs on his shoulder as he uses his hands to ground himself and procced to pound his cock even deeper and quicker, that being all you needed due to the added stimulation of his navel against your clit with each motion, turning your body into and absolute explosion of pleasure.

“Ah, ahh… JUNGKOOK!”

The walls of your pussy clang to him in and sucked him in to hit your cervix over and over, intensifying the orgasm as he continued the movements until he himself couldn’t bare it no more and got off on your dripping cunt, eyes screwed shut and mouth parted as he whimpered breathily through it.

Body shuddering and still buried to the bream, Jungkook collapses against you and your legs fall off his shoulders. Trying to keep him in place, you cross your ankles around his waist and throw your arms around his shoulder, both trying to catch your breaths and proper connection to reality. As your body calmed down and temperature returned to normal, you already had the inkling your but would be suffering from a slight friction rash against the carpet. But you would just add it to the bruises Jungkook’s mouth had left and count it as totally worth it.

“Chuory” Jungkook babbles against your shoulder, the fabric of your t-shirt muffling his voice and making it hard to understand what he said.

“What’s that, Kook?”

He lifts his head and rests his upper weight on his forearms, bottom half still very much attached to yours. He looks more like himself now, sweet and kind instead of bitter and angry. In fact, he looked at you almost apologetic.

“I’m sorry I got so jealous. I don’t know what came over me.”

You smile and peck at his worried lips.

“No worries. I’m surprise you could even get jealous when it came to someone like me” you confess, in a humorous tone.

“You are incredibly attractive, Y/N. I saw how that guy was looking at you. And he was so built and strong and… I got scared you would be taken away from me.”

You immediately shake your hand, reaching out for the young boy’s face that was filled with apprehension and anxiety. Holding his face, you make him look at you seriously.

“Never. I would never, Jungkook. I love you. I don’t care if the universe flips and suddenly all the men on this earth suddenly want me, I will always, always love you. Just you.”

He releases a heavy sight and you can almost feel the relief washing over him, the weight that as lifted his shoulders. At last, he smiles brightly and it reaches is eyes in the cutest of ways and you heart sings in response.

“Really?” he asks, a hopeful tone.

“Really. Now, mister, because of this silly fit, I ended my workout too early. It’s your responsibility” you warn him, wandering if he would get it.

“Hum? Do you want to go back? I can help you if- Ahh…!” The way he started made you sure he was not getting what you were hinting at so, to enlighten him, you clench your walls around his flaccid member that hardens in immediate response. Jungkook almost chokes.

“I was thinking more of a home workout.”

“M-my… My pleasure” he readily assures.

#bts chubby reader #bts chubby!reader #bts x chubby reader #BTS jungkook #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts smut #plus size reader #kpop smut #kpop fluff #bts fluff #kpop plus size

[yanderesleepybutwriting]

Perfect || Izuku x Reader

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Pairing: Izuku x Reader  

Request: “Hiya, precious bean! So, I've requested this a few times from other authors, but none have been comfortable with it so far. I found your page recently though, and you're writing is amazing! So, maybe Stockholm! Reader x Yandere Izuku, where reader thinks she isn't good enough for bb Zuku and gets anorexic and loses lots of weight, and when she gets super weak Izuku finds out? Love your work -Anonymous”

Notes: Wow, thank you so much! I’m glad you like my writing, and I hope you enjoy how it turned out. Heads up, yandere themes are ahead [Mentions of Anorexia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Self-Hatred, Kidnapping, etc.]

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All-day you had felt off. Not necessarily feverish, just more tired than usual. Even the usually cozy temperature of the house felt slightly colder than normal. Leaving you with the feeling of not even wanting to get out from your spot within the covers. However, you knew you had to. You had stayed in bed long enough.

Izuku would be home soon, and you wanted to show your appreciation to him for working so hard by cooking him dinner. You had been watching a cooking show earlier in the day and saw them preparing Katsudon. It triggered a memory that you had of Izuku where he mentioned early on in your… ‘relationship’ that he really liked Katsudon, so you were doing your best to recreate it.

You were just about done, which was good because the smell was starting to make your stomach growl slightly. You hadn’t had a full meal for a few days now, and you were definitely starting to feel the effects. You don’t remember what triggered it entirely, you just remembered looking at yourself in the mirror one day and feeling nothing but dissatisfaction. Midoriya would tell you repeatedly how ‘beautiful,’ and ‘stunning’ you were, but you could never understand, and the more you continued to look at yourself, the more you couldn't help but wonder...what if he left you. What if one day, he sees you the way you see yourself. Would he still love you? Would he continue to keep you around? You had been with him for so long that the mere thought of him tossing you to the side was enough to crush you. You didn’t want to give him a reason to leave, so you did your best to change.

At first, you would only skip meals every now and again, but dissatisfied with the lack of results, you started missing more and more. Until you were here. Going on days without eating more than a granola bar. You felt Izuku growing suspicious, so whenever he was away, you would make yourself meals, only to throw them down the garbage disposal after they were completed. The missing food, along with the dirty dishes and silverware giving the illusion that you had eaten something. Then when he would come home, you would insist that you had already eaten.

You finished up a plate for him and placed it on the dining room table before returning to the kitchen to clean up your mess. You pulled out some plastic containers and moved your eyes over the rest of the food left behind. Maybe a bite wouldn’t hurt? Eyes slowly finding their way to your stomach. No. Better not.

You quickly brought your attention back to your pan, moving the leftovers of your meal into a tupperware container. You were so absorbed in your cooking, you didn’t even notice that Izuku returned. Watching you from the kitchen entrance, his expression falling into a state of bliss at the sight of you. His perfect angel.

His feet made their way over to you, hands wrapping around your torso from behind, pulling you closer to him. Gently he leaned down placing his head against your neck, his hair, now even wilder than usual after a day of hero work, tickling your skin, causing you to try to squirm away. But Izuku didn’t back down, only humming, a small chuckle erupting from his chest.

“Mmm, smells amazing, Angel. What did you make?”

“Katsudon. I thought that, maybe, you deserved it after the week you had.” You explained completely oblivious to the ecstatic look, creeping onto his face.

“You remembered?” He questioned, turning you around so you were both facing one another. You felt yourself becoming more and more embarrassed at his lingering gaze before he finally leaned down. Connecting you against him gently, as he savored the taste of your lips on his, sucking lightly on your bottom lip before releasing you. “Thank you. You don’t know how much it means. Knowing that you prepared this meal just for me. Now, come on, let’s go dig in.”

“I’ll just finish cleaning up. Your plate is made and is already on the table.”

“Oh…” He trailed off, hands slipping off of your waist, “You’re not going to join me today?” He was disappointed, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You knew how much he enjoyed spending time with you, but being forced to sit through a dinner with him, answering questions as to why you’re not eating was just something you couldn’t do. It would only bring up even more questions you weren’t willing to answer.

“No, sorry. I ate before you came home. I guess all that cleaning really worked up an appetite.” You stated casually, making sure to finish your lie off with a smile, hoping it would be enough to sell it. He gave you a suspicious look, but followed it up with a kiss on the forehead before walking over to the dining room.

“You know you really shouldn’t overwork yourself,” Izuku called out, “You shouldn’t even be cleaning or cooking, although I do appreciate it. I told you so many times that I’m more than capable of doing all of that when I get home.”

“I know, but I want to. I feel guilty since you’re doing so much for me, it just seems unfair. Plus, I like cooking for you.” 

“Well, I do love coming home to you looking so focused.”

Slowly your hearing began fading out, instead  being replaced with a high-pitched ringing, followed by a slow pressure that was brought into your head as you felt your world becoming more wobbly. Your vision blurring before you lost consciousness completely. The last thing you heard being the clattering of the pan hitting the floor, and Izuku calling out to you.

Ironically, the last of the two ended up being the first thing you heard as well, as you began coming to. Izuku was panicking, shaking you as tears were falling down his face. “Y/N? Oh, thank god!” He cried out, pulling you against his chest. You could hear his frantic heartbeat and uneven breathing. Confirming he was just as scared as he looked. “I knew something was wrong. I knew it! And look at what happened. I wasn’t able to keep you safe.”

Hearing him blame himself made you feel sick. You were the one to blame. You were the one at fault, not him.

“No, Izuku.” You spoke up, trying to lift yourself up, only to be pulled back down into his lap.

“Don’t get up! You could have a concussion. Do you feel nauseous or dizzy at all?” He held the sides of your face and and began examining you intently.

“No, I feel fine.” You lied, trying to push him off of you.

“You’re lying, Y/N. Why won’t you just be honest with me?” He sighed frustratedly, “I’m going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me. Have you been eating?”

You froze, caught off guard by the straightforwardness of the question. He didn’t beat around the bush at all, and that was unlike him. He isn’t usually one to say what he was thinking, but this was different. Your health and safety is something he takes seriously.

Your expression giving him all the answers that he needed, he continued. Raking his fingers through his hair before speaking up. “Why? Just…why? Why would you do something so careless? Is there something wrong with the food here? Did I not get you anything that you liked? Because if that’s the case I’ll fix it. I-I’ll get you something else. Anything, just tell me what you want.”

“That’s not it.” You whispered, looking down at your lap as remorse overcame you.

“Then what is it? Please,” He begged, “just tell me.”

You held back tears as your throat started becoming tighter. You felt like you were trapped, and you just wanted to be left alone, but you knew that wasn’t an option. Not until you told him the truth.

“I just wanted to be pretty for you,” you confessed, tears making their way down your cheeks, “I just would look in the mirror and hate myself. I hated what I saw. And I was just so scared, that if you saw me, the way that I saw me, then you would leave. And I would be all alone.”

Izuku was stunned, watching you break down and confess what’s been going through your mind broke his heart. Was that really how you saw yourself? He just couldn’t understand. He could never leave you. His love for you was just too strong. How could you not see yourself as pretty, when to him, there’s no one in this world more breathtaking than you.

“Shh, I’m so sorry,” He soothed, kissing your face between each syllable, “this is my fault. You only feel this way because I haven’t made you feel loved enough. That’s okay though because I’ll fix it. I’ll take time off of work so I can spend more free time with you. I’ll show you just how much I love each and every day until you can’t forget it. You’re just so beautiful, and so incredible, but your beauty goes so much deeper than that. I don’t care about the way you look at all. I love you for who you are. And who you are is Y/N. Just plain and simple. You’re my Y/N. And nothing will ever change that. Especially not something as meaningless as your weight. So please, stop. Just stop for me. I want my happy healthy, Angel back.”

After more words of encouragement from your boyfriend, you finally worked up enough strength to bring yourself to eat. It was only a little at first, but Izuku was on top of the moon regardless. He kept his promise of taking time off of work to spend more time with you, but a lot of that time was spent making sure you were well fed. He always made sure you had cleared your plate before he allowed the two of you to do anything fun together. 

It was so hard at first, but Izuku was nothing if not persistent. Whenever he caught you looking in the mirror too long, he would immediately pull you away, making you lay in bed with him as he counted off all the things he loved about you. It was so corny, but oddly enough, little by little you felt it working. And that little amount of progress was all the hope and reassurance that you both needed to prove that you were getting better. And that it would only be a matter of time before you were comfortable in your own skin again. Something that Izuku was going to make sure happened.

#yanderesleepybutwriting #yandere #yandere boku no hero academia #yandere my hero academia #yandere midoriya #yandere midoriya x reader #yandere izuku #yandere izuku x reader #midoriya izuku #izuku midoria x reader #midoriya imagine #midoriya x reader #yandere deku #yandere deku x reader #deku x reader #deku imagine #bnha fanfiction #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha deku #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #mha headcanons #mha izuku #mha #perfect

[hoedameronsworld]

The End Of An Era

Pairing: Obi-wan x reader

Words: 5.5k

Summary: you discover, quite unexpectedly that you are pregnant. Unsure how to tell Obi-wan and trying to keep the news hidden from the Jedi order, you somehow manage to distance yourself from Obi, all the while he tries to figure out what has you behaving so strangely.

A/n : here it is folks! The first offical post for this account. A masterlist is up, so feel free to read through the works I have planned. I’m really excited for this account and I can’t wait to meet all of you. Enjoy my first story! Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

The large window sill was hard underneath your back, but you didn’t mind. It was actually your favourite spot in your small room. You lay on the hard surface, your hands folded over your stomach, your head turned to watch the world outside your window. The early morning sunshine warmed you up as you watched the world go by on the other side of your window.

You felt a sense of calm wash over you, almost as if you were meditating. Really, this was your own way of meditation. Laying there, the warm sun blanketing your body, watching the busyness of Coruscant - it centred you, allowed you to focus and to find peace.

Watching the rush and bustle of the busy city while you lay completely motionless and peaceful also gave you a sense of disconnection. But in a good way. It made you feel like your own person, not just another face in the crowd. You knew it won’t be long before you rejoin the world, become part of the chaos of the city. But for now, you enjoyed watching over the world in silence and warmth.

You can’t help but smile when you hear a soft knock at your door. You already know who it is. You had sensed him long before he had actually arrived, your force signature tangling with his, adding another source of warmth into your morning. Besides, you knew he would be coming. You’re surprised he didn’t come looking for you as soon as they realised you would not be showing up.

You let out a soft hum, letting him know that he is welcome to enter. You know that he would not be able to hear the small noise, so you allow your force signature that is entwined with his to open up, telling him that he is welcome.

As soon as the door is closed behind him, he is moving to where your lying, knelling down so he is level with you.

“Darling? Are you okay? You didn’t attend the council meeting this morning” Obi-Wan whispers running a hand over your hair. You hum contently at his gentle touch. Oh, how you wished to stay in this blissful moment forever.

You take a moment to enjoy the moment before you reply softly.

“ ‘M fine. I was unwell when I got up. I feel fine now, but I thought it best to take the day off, not get anyone else sick.” You turn your head to look at him, smiling at him softly. You grab his hand - the one not in your hair - and lay it with your own on your stomach, tangling your fingers with his.

“Do you need me to take you to the health room?” He says, still maintaining the soft and quiet tone, sensing your calm and quiet mood.

“S’probably just a stomach bug. I’ll be right as rain tomorrow” you whisper. He leans forward and places a long kiss on your forehead. You close your eyes, enjoying his soothing presence. After a moment he pulls away from you and smiles at your blissed out expression.

“Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m at the temple all day” he says. You just nod your head in understanding. You open your eyes and find his beautiful blue ones instantly.

“I love you Obi” you mumble. He places another kiss on your head before standing up, removing his hands from your hair and stomach. You can’t help but whine slightly at the loss of contact. Normally your reaction would result in a small chuckle from him, but today he was filled with a warmth so great he was almost tempted to join you on the window sill and cradle you securely to his chest and never let you go.

“And I you” he whispers, so quietly you almost miss it. He knows you don’t though, because your content smile widens slightly. He retreats from your room before he throws all his responsibilities out the window so he can join you.

~>•••••<~

You were better the next day. And the day after that. However, the next three days after that you would wake up and go scurrying towards the refresher and the toilet. Once you would finish you would feel perfectly fine again for the rest of the day. You told no one of your continual sickness. Not even Obi-Wan. You thought about going to see a medic, but something inside you was telling you that that was a bad idea. So you endured the sickness most mornings before going through your normal life at the Jedi temple.

You had gone several days without any sickness, so when Obi-Wan suggested you spend the night in his room, you agreed. The two of you were cuddled up together, still fast asleep despite the morning sun filtering in through the window. Your naked bodies were entwined and tangled, as were your force signatures. Connected in every way.

Something within the force shifted. It was a small movement, one that no one around you would even notice. However, it caused you to jolt awake. You took a moment to focus, trying to pinpoint the tiny difference that you were sensing. And then it hit you.

There was another life form in this room.

Another life force in you.

Suddenly the recent sickness made a lot of sense.

You could not let anyone know. Not yet. Not until you had a moment to think and to process the news. However, if anyone paid a close enough attention, they would easily be able to spot the extra force signature. Especially with yourself so closely entwined with Obi-Wan, he would sense it immediately when he awoke.

So, you slammed all mental shields up and pulled back your force signature, yanking it harshly away from Obi-Wan until it was the size of a pinprick.

At the harsh - and almost painful - movement of your force signature disappearing, Obi-wan jumped awake. He frowns as he watched you hurry out of the bed and quickly get changed. He couldn’t quite understand what was wrong until an empty, cold feeling swept open. It was you. Something was wrong with you. You had completely closed up. Obi-wan suddenly felt bare and vulnerable.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Is something wrong?” He asked. His voice slightly gravely from sleep. He was sitting up in the bed, watching you put your shoes on with a lost expression on his face.

“ ‘m fine. Just need to go” you mumbled as you yanked on one shoe, reaching for the second.

“Talk to me, my love. Are you sick again?” He asked thinking back to earlier that week. You can’t help but let out a bitter laugh at that.

“No, I’m not sick. This is something so much worse. But it’s also amazing. I’ve got to go.” You finished with your shoes and stood, racing towards the door. While you were moving so quickly, Obi-wan was still moving slowly, his mind almost sluggish.

“Something worse? Y/n wait!” He tried to say, however the door shut with a slam before his words completely left his mouth.

~>•••••<~

It was unintentional, but you had managed to push Obi-wan away. You found yourself avoiding his gaze during council meetings and training sessions. You would turn down any offer of sneaking away from the temple for a few hours to get something to eat or go for a walk. You didn’t spend any time with Obi-wan unless it was absolutely necessary.

You didn’t want to distance yourself from him. On the contrary, you wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. With your relationship being a secret, the two of you already had limited time to spend together.

Yet, you knew you could not be around him at the moment. Any time you were near him, you felt the weight of your pregnancy pressing down on you, almost like a physical weight on your shoulders. You knew you needed to tell him, but for the moment, you still needed some time to process the news yourself.

One morning, you were making your way to the mediation chamber. You needed some time to clear your head. About halfway to your destination, a voice interrupts your thoughts.

“Master L/n! Do you have a spare moment?” You hear Anakin call out to you. You turn to face the man as he jogs towards you.

“Anakin! No running in the temple. Hasn’t your master taught you anything?” You ask, your tone playful. Anakin smirks back at you.

“I’m afraid not. I often ignored what he had to say” Anakin said in the same playful tone. You knew Anakin was only joking. You had watched Anakin grow up as he worked under Obi-wan and you knew the boy looked up to Obi-wan.

“What can I do for you today, Ani?” You questioned with a smile.

“If you are not busy, would you help me with my training? It appears Obi-wan’s meeting with master Windu has gone over time” Anakin responds. Despite your plans for meditating, you agree to help Anakin. It had been a while since you had spent time with him and you thought the exercise would do you some good.

The two of you arrive at the training room and you take of your cloak, folding it neatly before you place it on a nearby bench. You ignite your lightsaber and begin sparring with Anakin, catching up with him as your lightsabers clash together. You don’t know how long you battle for when Obi-wan enters the room. You pull away, moving to leave when Obi stops you.

“Please continue. I’ll watch and offer some pointers if you’d like?” Obi-wan said as he sat down on the bench next to your cloak. You nod without a word and turn back towards Anakin, who reignites his lightsaber. The two of you continue your battle for a while until Obi-wan speaks up.

“Sorry, if I may interrupt” he says, standing and removing his own cloak. You take a few steps away from Anakin to allow Obi-wan to offer his pointers.

“Go for it” you acknowledge. You take a few steps away so you can watch the two of them. Obi-wan unclips his own lightsaber from his belt and moves to stand next to Anakin.

“That manoeuvre you were just doing was too high up. It’s a defensive manoeuvre that is meant to protect the entirety of your body. However, when you hold your saber too close to your body, like you were, it limits the amount of protection” Obi-wan explains to his former padawan. Obi-wan moves to display how Anakin was doing it before switching to how the move is supposed to be performed. You can’t help but smile as you watch Obi-wan explain the move to Anakin. Obi-wan is patient as he tries to show Anakin the correct way to perform the manoeuvre despite Anakin’s protests about ‘not being a padawan anymore’.

You realise in this moment that Obi-wan is going to make an amazing father. A warmth that grows from your chest engulfs you as you realise how lucky you are to have Obi-wan. Despite the untimely development of your child, you know that you have no fear of Obi-wan being disappointed or angry. You know deep down, that even if Obi-wan was completely opposed to having children, he would support you through the pregnancy and your child’s life.

The thought, as well as your now haywire hormones, causes you to break down in tears right there. You sink down onto the nearest bench and hide your face in your hands as you sob. You hear a clatter and realise that Obi-wan has dropped his lightsaber in his rush to get to you. You feel him kneel down in front of you. His warm hands gently grab hold of yours and he pries your hands away from your face. You meet his face, and the sight of worry and concern and love pooling in his soft blue eyes has you crying even harder.

“Hey, hey, Y/n. What’s wrong?” He asks softly, his beautiful voice gentle and calming. You quickly glance up and see Anakin standing behind Obi-wan, concern also written over his face. You look back down and shake your head, pulling your hands out of Obi-wan’s so you can wipe away your tears.

“S’nothing. M’fine. I p-p-promise” you sob, trying to lessen your tears and control yourself, yet failing. Obi-wan, seemingly having caught your glance towards Anakin, turns his head away from you towards his former padawan.

“Anakin, I think you’ve had enough training for today. Do you mind giving us a moment?” Obi-wan says. Anakin nods, seemingly still trying to comprehend your sudden mood change. He seems to understand your need for space, so he grabs his belongings and leaves without protest. Obi-wan moves to sit next to you, and as soon as the door closes behind Anakin, he pulls you into his chest. One of his arms wraps securely around your back, the other runs soothingly through your hair. He gently shushes you as you continue to cry into his chest, gripping tightly onto his robes.

“Shh, love. You’re okay. I’ve got you” he whispers into your hair, only causing you to get more emotional. He doesn’t question you, just continues to whisper sweet, comforting words as you finally manage to calm yourself down. Despite your now calm breathing and dry eyes, Obi-wan continues to hold you tight to him, sensing that all you need at the moment is his comfort. After a while you finally speak up.

“I’m sorry Obi.” He pulls away from you slightly so he can look at you. You rest your chin on his chest so you’re looking up at him.

“There is no reason for you to apologise. There is nothing wrong with crying. Are you alright? Is there anything I can do?” You shake your head.

“I’m alright… just…” you look into his eyes and realise he’s waiting for you to explain what had you suddenly crying in the middle of Anakin’s training. You could hardly explain to him that it was due to the hormone changes that came along with the pregnancy that he didn’t know about. You reached for an excuse and grabbed hold of the first one that came to mind.

“I’m just stressed. This war is taking a lot out of me. I guess seeing you and Anakin together reminded me of times before the war and something about that caused me to break.”

In a way that was true. The war had taken a lot out of you, and now that you knew you were fighting for your baby as well, there seemed an added pressure on the situation. And you really did miss the days before the war, when you, Obi-wan and Anakin could go around enjoying each other’s company.

“I know. We Jedi are not made for fighting wars. However, it is just the way it is. All we can do now is to work hard to bring this war to an end, that way things can return to normal.” His voice is soft as he speaks and you can hear the underlying sadness in his tone. It’s obvious he doesn’t like this war any more than you do. He looks down at you, nothing but love in his eyes. The expression on his face almost brings you to tears again.

“We’ll get through it. Together.”

~>•••••<~

The rocky ground is hard underneath your feet, and the sun beats hotly down on you. You can feel your hair cling to your forehead with sweat, but you don’t have time to brush it away.

Obi-wan, Anakin, Ahsoka and yourself had been sent to retrieve an admiral and several clone troopers who had crash landed on this hot planet. However, once your small group had arrived, Anakin and Ahsoka had been separated from you and Obi-wan as you were ambushed by Ventress. As you and Obi-wan battled to keep the assassin busy, Anakin and Ahsoka and left to search for the missing group. Despite this being a two-on-one battle, Ventress was strong and was managing to keep both you and Obi-wan at bay.

Ventress pushed Obi-wan with the force, sending him flying into the rocky cliff wall behind him. You swung your weapon wildly, almost as if you had forgotten any and all technique. Ventress blocked the attack easily and flipped backwards, putting some distance between the two of you.

“You’ve rather lost your touch, L/n. You’re almost no fun to battle anymore” Ventress spoke.

“I’d hardly say these battles are for fun” you respond. You readjust your lightsaber and take a few steps forward, preparing to engage in the battle once more, when you stumble slightly. The world around you begins to blur slightly, and you blink rapidly, trying to clear your vision. Why is it, that a dizzy spell had to hit you now, of all times?

You knew it was just another symptom of your pregnancy. You had been dizzy enough times to know that. Once or twice, you had even passed out. As you stumbled a bit more, you realised with growing dread that you might faint now as well. Your vision clears enough for you to see Ventress approaching you, her lightsabers raised in attack. You take a few steps back and raise your lightsaber in a last chance to protect yourself. However, the force of your opponents attack pushes you onto the rocky ground and sends your lightsaber flying from your grip.

Black dots move across your blurry vision as you see Ventress standing over you.

“Such a disappointing fight” she pouts before she raises her sabers and brings them hurtling down towards you.

In that moment, as you prepare for your death, you feel regret. Regret that you never told Obi-wan that he was going to be a father. Although the two of you had never discussed children before, something within you told you that he would have been happy. It was already obvious he would have made an excellent father. You just regret that you never got to tell him yourself. Instead, he will be told the news by a medical droid upon your inspection. He would have to hide his initial reaction until he was someplace quiet so he could grieve the loss of both you, and the child he never got to have. It saddened you that due to the secrecy of your relationship, Obi-wan would never have someone to comfort him through his time of loss.

Just before the red sabers make contact with you, Obi-wan’s own blue saber is over you, preventing Ventress from harming you. Using the force, he shoves her as far away as possible before his kneeling down besides you. You can see that he’s talking, but you can hardly make out what he is saying. Something about Anakin and taking you back to the ship. He then grabs your lightsaber and turns to face Ventress, who has now returned.

You watch, on the cusp of losing consciousness, as he battles her using both his lightsaber and his own. It doesn’t take long until your suddenly being picked up, sending panic through you. You fight weakly against whoever has hold of you until you see Anakin’s face above you. As he begins to move you towards the ship, you finally lose consciousness.

~>•••••<~

When you wake up, you can tell that you are already in hyperspace. The bed you’ve been laid on is slightly uncomfortable under your back, but that’s not uncommon for medical beds. You turn your head and see Obi-wan pacing a few metres away from your bed. You sit up.

“Obi?” You call. The sound of your voice has him moving quickly to reach your side.

“My darling, you’re awake” he coos as he leans over you.

“Where’s Anakin and Ahsoka?” You ask. Obi-wan chuckles.

“They’re in the cockpit, getting us home” he responds. You raise an eyebrow.

“What’s so funny?” He just shakes his head in response, however you continue to stare at him expectantly.

“You’re sitting here, unwell on a medial bed, and yet you are worried about Anakin and Ahsoka” he eventually relents.

“Well I know I’m perfectly fine. Of course I’m going to worry about those two!” You exclaim. All humour from Obi-wan’s expression fades.

“You are not ‘perfectly fine’. You passed out during the middle of a battle!”

“Look, Obi, I know why I passed out. It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

“Nothing I need to concern myself with! You were almost killed because you passed out!” Obi-wan exclaims. He takes a moment to calm down. “When we land, I’m taking you to a medical droid to -“

“No!” You interrupt him. “No droids. Please.” You knew you couldn’t go to a medical droid. All it would take is one quick scan and they would know the truth. Obi-wan let out a deep sigh.

“I need to know that you are okay.”

“I am okay! I know why I passed out. Trust me” you say softly, trying to comfort him. You study each other’s faces for a moment.

“Why?” He breaks the moment.

“Why what?”

“Why did you pass out then?”

You look away from him, turning your attention to where your hands rested in your lap.

“I - I can’t tell you. Not here” you whisper, not wanting Anakin or Ahsoka to over hear what you were saying. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a worried expression flash over Obi-wan’s face.

“Y/n, darling, what’s going on?” He asks, just as softly. You look back up at him.

“I’m sorry Obi. I can’t tell you just yet.” You feel hurt as he moves away from you, yet you know you deserve it.

“Okay. If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. But, whatever is going on is greatly effecting you. You need to do something about it before you get hurt” he says.

Silence envelopes you as you think over his words. He’s right. You can’t do this any longer. It’s time to do the inevitable. You can’t continue to hide this. It’s time you speak with the council.

~>•••••<~

You hadn’t told Obi-wan about what you were going to do. You knew that if you had, he would have either tried to talk you out of it, or tried to leave with you. Obi-wan could not leave the order. He was a vital part of winning the war. You just hoped that his reaction in there would not give away your relationship. It was best for your pregnancy to remain unknown for as long as possible.

Sucking in a deep breath, you walked into the council chambers.

Nervous energy made you fidgety, however you had long ago mastered how to control and conceal your emotions.

“Good afternoon masters. I am here to talk about my leave” you announce. Obi-wan leans forward in his seat at this.

“Your leave?” Mace Windu speaks up.

“Yes Master Windu. I feel as if my time as a Jedi has reached its end” you explain.

“I peg your pardon” Obi-wan exclaims. You face him and give him a small smile. You knew he would not be able to completely hide his reaction.

“I’m sorry, master Kenobi. You have been a dear friend, however this decision had to be made by me. That is why I have not spoken with you” you say to him. You can see him clench his jaw, a sign that he wants to say something, however he knows he can’t so he sits back in his seat.

“Strong Jedi, you are. Your leave, a great loss it will be” master Yoda spoke up.

“Why do you feel you should leave?” Mundi said. You turn to face him as you respond, subconsciously settling you hands over your stomach, an action that Yoda does not miss.

“For several weeks now, something in the force has been telling me that my future now lays outside of the Jedi order. I believe it best to follow this.”

“Very well. It is your decision to make. Hand in your lightsaber. You can remain here for a few days while you pack and find somewhere else to stay” Windu says. You unclip your lightsaber from your belt and take one last look at your hand-built weapon before you hand it over to Yoda. You bow to the council members then take your leave, hurrying back to your room. You know that you want to be in a private space for the conversation that is to come.

Just as you had suspected, it wasn’t long after you had taken off your cloak when you heard a knock at your door. Although your force signature was still tightly closed, you knew who it was. You opened the door and let Obi-wan inside.

You don’t say anything, letting him have a few moments to gather his thoughts and figure out what he wants to say. You know that he needs to be the one to speak first.

“I don’t believe you” he eventually says, his back to you. You can’t help but frown, confused.

“What don’t you believe?” You question.

“I don’t believe that it is the force that is influencing your decision to leave.” His voice is soft as he speaks, but the room is quiet so you hear him easily.

“Well that’s because it isn’t the reason” you state simply. He turns around to face you at this.

“So why? Why are you leaving? And why didn’t you come and speak with me?” His tone is one of pain and hurt. “Do you not trust me?” You step towards him and gently take his hands in yours.

“Of course I trust you, Obi. It’s just that…” you struggled to find the right words. “This isn’t something that should be discussed here in the temple.”

“You said the same thing in the ship a few days ago.”

“Because Anakin and Ahsoka were both there. Obi, this is something that, at the moment, can only be kept between the two of us. Neither of us can risk anyone else knowing at the time being.”

Obi-wan doesn’t get to give a response as a knock sounds on your door. You give Obi-wan’s hands a small squeeze and a small, apologetic smile before you move away from him, moving towards the door.

To say you are surprised when you open the door, would be an understatement. Yoda stood before you, the last person you would expect to see knocking at your door.

“Master Yoda! What can I do for you?” You stammered slightly.

“Come to return this, I have” he says, holding your lightsaber up to you. You blink down at him blankly.

“But master…” you trail off, not knowing what to say.

“If correct I am, then out of your control your circumstances were” he replies.

“But master, I cannot be a Jedi” you remind him. Although slightly shocked by this, it hardly surprises you that Yoda realised the true reasoning behind your leave.

“Jedi, you are not. Warrior you are. This you will need.” He gestures to your lightsaber with his head.

“Thank you master” you respond, gratefully taking the weapon from him. Yoda peers around you and you realise too late that he is looking at Obi-wan. You know he has already connected the dots.

“Master, please-“ you begin, but he cuts you off.

“Leave us only one Jedi will” he says. Relief washes over you, knowing that Obi-wan will not be kicked out of the order.

“Thank you master” you say gratefully, bowing deeply. He returns the bow and leaves.

You turn back around, clutching your lightsaber in your hand. You look up at Obi-wan and step towards him.

“Obi, darling, I’m sorry. I really am. Just give me -“ your cut off as you feel a bout of sickness grow within you. You mentally curse. Your symptoms really do nail their timing. You rush past Obi-wan, dropping your lightsaber in the process as you hurry to reach your small refresher.

You collapse in front of your toilet and upend the contents of your stomach into the bowl. Obi-wan is there immediately, rubbing soothing circles on your back. You feel as if you truely don’t deserve him. Despite how confused and frustrated he must be feeling at your secretive behaviour, he is with you in a moments notice when you need him.

Once you’ve finished, you remain on the floor next to the toilet as Obi-wan grabs a cloth from your cupboard and runs it under cold water. You take it from him silently and use the refreshing cloth to clean your face. Once you are done and your strength has returned, you shuffle backwards until your back hits the wall. Obi-wan kneels in front of you.

“Please tell me what’s going on. You have been acting strangely. You were sick a little while ago, and now you’re sick again. You occasionally disappear during training or council meetings. You started crying during Anakin’s training session a few weeks ago and you passed out in the middle of battle a few days ago. Not to mention that you have turned down all offers of spending time with me and you have closed your force signature completely. And now you’ve gone off and left the Jedi temple without even talking to me! I don’t know what’s going on Y/n, but I miss you and I love you and I just want to help you” Obi-wan exclaims.

You study his face carefully, taking in all the details. His soft beard, his pink lips, his clear eyes. You find all of his emotions written across his face easily, reading him like an open book. His concern. His worry. His love.

You know there is no avoiding it. You have to tell him now.

“I …” but you can’t find the words. You have absolutely I idea what to say to him.

So, you close your eyes and slowly expand your force signature. It grows from the tiny pinprick until it is encompassing your entire body. You hear Obi-wan hum softly, embracing the feeling of you again. After being disconnected from you for so long, he doesn’t realise the change at first.

You wait, your eyes shut tight as Obi-wan’s force signature tangles with your own. His own signature jumps backwards suddenly and you know that he has sensed it. You wait, holding your breath for something, anything to come from the man in front of you. You still don’t dare open your eyes.

You wait for a few moments, waiting for Obi-wan’s reaction.

Suddenly, you feel his forehead drop onto your chest, his hands grabbing onto the fabric at your waist. You finally open your eyes and look down at him hugging you tightly. Your confused for a moment, trying to decipher his reaction until it hits you.

He’s crying.

You don’t think you have ever seen Obi-wan cry before. And yet here he is, clutching desperately to you and sobbing into your chest at the discovery that he’s going to be a father.

Your quick to respond, wrapping your arms around his back and bringing one hand up to run through his hair. You don’t say anything, just giving him his chance to let out his emotions. You don’t know how long you hold him for.

After a while, he pulls out of your arms, but he doesn’t move away. He lays down between your legs and rests his hands and his head on your stomach. You don’t say anything, just continue to run your fingers through his hair. You can’t seem to find the strength to break the silence. Your too scared and exhausted for that. Obi-wan seems to realise this as well and he eventually moves just slightly, resting his chin on your stomach so he can look up at you.

“I can’t believe you fought Ventress, despite being pregnant” he says. You can’t help but laugh. But you also start to cry. Now it’s Obi-wan’s turn to hold you. He sits up and pulls you into his lap, holding you tightly as you cry and mutter apology after apology.

And despite him just having cried himself, he begins again. Soon the both of you are a pile of mess as you cry and you smile and you kiss and you apologise and say I love yous. All the while one, or both of his hands remain rested over your stomach. And while the lead up to this moment was stressful and unpleasant and the future is entirely unknown, the two of you bathe in your combined happiness as this chapter of your lives comes to a close in order to prepare for the next.

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan #obi-wan #obi wan x reader #the clone wars #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #padme amidala #asaaj ventress #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #star wars #star wars imagines #you x obi wan

[officialleehadan]

Third Side Saving

Hello darlings! What a stormy day I'm having. The wind has been snarling across the roof all day!

Today's story was brought to you by Clown! Darling, I hope it's everything you were hoping for! There will definitely be more of this!

Prompt: Higher Being Housemates, with the making and signing of a Contract.

+++

“Do you have a minute? I’ve discovered a rather complicated situation.”

Tracy looked up from her desk to discover Davi lingering in the doorway. The angel was one of the quieter members of their household. Oh, he was around, and if he was around, Mara usually was too because the lovebirds were never far from each other. Today, however, this lovebird was flying solo.

“I would make time for you even if I didn’t have a minute,” she promised him. Her finals were done at last, and now it was the yearly registration song and dance. That, however, was not as time sensitive and could be put aside. “What can I do for you, Birdie?”

“It’s about a human,” he told her and tentatively sat at the table across from her. “The discussion the other night, regarding Contracts, gave me an idea and I want to discuss it with you.”

“Go for it,” Tracy said encouragingly and went for the ever-full coffee pot that she was reasonably sure had been Miracled to always stay hot and perfect. Then again, it could easily be the Cats and their habit of mobbing anything she thought was important to keep her life going smoothly. “Might not be able to answer, but I’ll do my best.”

“The human in question is a friend,” Davi explained as Tracy made her coffee and doctored it from their truly extensive collection of flavorings. “If angels can be considered such with humans. I met him not long after I came to Earth.”

“Got it. So what do you need me for?”

“I don’t, precisely. I need Blake, but he says he needs your permission first,” Davi told her. He fiddled with a pen and steeled himself long enough to meet her eyes. “My friend, his name is Jonas, he’s in a bad position. His wife died two years ago, and his daughter is dying of the same genetic disease. He’s been bankrupted by the health system, and he’s going to lose his job because of the time he has to spend at the hospital.”

“Sounds like time for some Angelic Interference.”

“The Host… we have limitations,” Davi explained to her, suddenly tired and very sad all at once. The weight of his work as a minor Guardian bore down on him. Tracy didn’t need to ask to know that he remembered every soul he tried and failed to save. “I don’t have the power, or the permission, to help him the way he needs. I can’t do anything that big, but…”

“But a Contract with a greater demon could,” Tracy realized abruptly as the pieces came together in her mind. “Blake is limited only by his power and my permission. If your friend signs a Contract, we can make sure he has everything he needs.”

“Yes.”

It was an odd shade of simple and brilliant. One that Tracy had never considered before. Of course. Of course the angels had limits. She knew that from Angelika, after all. She would have done far more for her homeless shelter if she could have. Davi was of the Least Order as Angelika had been. His hands were tied to help people the way they needed helping.

But Tracy, with seventeen demons, didn’t answer to anyone.

“Blake, I need you,” she said with a gentle tug on the place where her first, dearest demon was bound to her heart. “Davi, get your friend. Is he already in the know?”

“He caught me molting before I met Mara,” Davi said, somewhat embarrassed. “Like Angelika, I was living in shared housing. I… may have gotten entirely tangled in the shower curtain and ripped it off the wall.”

“Awesome. That cuts down on explanations. Does he trust you enough to take a Contract with a demon?”

“We’re doing Contracts now?”

Blake swept into the room, as dramatic as the Cats and shrouded in his gorgeous magpie wings. Tracy accepted a kiss on the head when he went past her, hunting for the coffee.

“Davi has a friend that Heaven can’t help,” Tracy explained with a nod to Davi, who stepped out onto the balcony and vanished into the sky in a rush of white feathers. “I seem to remember you and Mara getting spectacularlydrunk and redoing the demonic boilerplate Contract to play nice with our household rules. You still have it?”

“Less whatever we’re giving and what we’re taking in return,” Blake said with a baffled shrug. “Wouldn’t be hard to update. Not like either of us are new to taking Contracts.”

Tracy nodded decisively, a plan forming in her head. One that made her smile with genuine, smug pleasure. “Grab it, will you? Davi is getting his friend, and I get the feeling that sooner is better than later with this one.”

Blake gave her a confused wing-shrug, and held out his hand. There was a puff of fire that Tracy thought was mostly for the drama of it, and a scroll appeared in his palm. She took it and read over the tiny, user-hostile font. It wasn’t her first time seeing a Contract. Blake had showed her one long ago, back when they were first figuring out how to make a family of one angel, one demon, and a human. From what she could see, the Contract was as generous as it could possibly be.

“That’s the ‘good person’ Contract,” Blake told her with a sly little grin. “We have a different one for people who need some consequences in a hurry.”

“Perfect. We’ll see what this guy actually needs, but I think we may have found our niche,” Tracy told him and handed the Contract back. It would take some work to figure out all the details, but that was manageable. A rustle of wings announced Davi’s return, this time with a human in tow. Jonas, she presumed. He was a good-looking guy, who was only a little older than her. He was in a rumpled suit that looked about a size too big. Either he had no idea how to buy a suit, or more likely, he had lost a lot of wight recently. Stress, she would bet. “HI there. I’m Tracy.”

“You, uh, nice to meet you,” Jonas said, wind-shaken and uncertain. No surprise there, considering he had an angel at his back, and a demon before him. “Davi… Davi says you might be able to help me?”

“I think maybe we can,” Tracy said, and ushered him to the table. “So, let’s figure out what you need, and we’ll see what we can do. After all, if the Third Side can’t help you, who can?”

+++

Higher Being Housemates:

As it turns out, rent is really high  in Heaven. It’s not great in Hell either. An angel and a demon come to  an agreement that works for them both.

Their human housemate still  hasn’t decided whether or not to help them, or kick them all out of her  house. After all, Grad school is hard enough without the Great War  making it worse.

Bright Red Panties

Black and White Feathers

Demonic Comfort

Demonic Intervention

Unwanted Attention

Magpie Wings

Don’t Fall

Sparklers and Demon Smiles

Holy Words

Holy Tea

Santa Baby

Pledge Promise

Unholy Fuss (Free on Patreon)

Tuxedo Cat (Subscribers Only!)

Shadow Puff (Subscriber Only!)

If This Then That

A Third Side (Subscriber Only)

Sharp Edges

Red Letters

Stand Together (Subscriber Only!)

Fuzzy Interlude

The Fun Side  (Subscriber Only!)

Feathers and Tea

Making Christmas

Santa Satan

All the Pillows

Grey and Red (Subscriber Only!)

Low Tide (Free on Patreon)

From the Heavens (Subscriber Only!)

Silver Shine

Five out of Six Ends are Pointy

Cinnamon Kisses (Free on Patreon!)

Thanks and Giving (Free on Patreon!)

Hounds of Hell (Free on Patreon!)

Potential Alliance (Free on Patreon!)

Wing Blade Runner

Third Side Saving

+++

#writer #writing #write #nanowrimo #writers #writing prompts #writing resources #writblr #angel #angels #demon #demons #demon contract #grandmaster of demonic arts #Lee Hadan Add to Masterlist

[spectacularlyignorantt]

From the dining table

March 2017

Louis sat in the kitchen looking around, dust covering every possible surface. Princess Park, their first home, the place they bought together without telling anyone and then never sold after the breakup. Maybe because they couldn't see each other and not end up in bed, regretting it in the morning. Maybe because they both knew this time apart meant nothing. They were destined to be together, a love no one could understand, right?

The last time he saw Harry was after the presentation of his single Just Hold On on the X-Factor, but they had not been a proper couple for around a year. If you didn’t count the sex, of course. Louis didn’t. Sex didn’t mean much, not when he knew what it felt like to be in a relationship with Harry Styles for 5 years. They would have stopped seeing each other when the band started the hiatus if it wasn’t for his mom's health getting worse. Harry stood next to him all those months, giving him comfort, keeping her company when Louis was too tired to stay awake. Harry was part of his family, after all. And Louis knew Anne, Gems and Robin felt the same way about him. 

The reason for their break up was a mystery for everyone, a question never answered. They belonged together, no one could say the opposite after expending time with the couple for 10 minutes. Either you were blind or disgusted by their love, in a cute way. 

Louis knew, of course. It was a decision, more than anything. They felt like the only thing holding them together was the band and decided to take a break to figure out if there was more than that. So they never sold their first home because there was no chance they weren't going back together. 

Lately, Louis wasn’t so sure about that. To be honest, he wasn't sure about anything. The sky was pouring like it should be, for mood purposes. The lump in his throat made breathing hard, the weight in his chest holding him down in the chair. He closed his eyes, he wasn’t going to cry. The promise he made to his mother was still clear in his mind and it was killing him. Because lately, it felt like Harry had forgotten about them. With his solo music, the movie, all that pr girlfriends Louis knew he hated. All that glamour, all those lights. Why would he be thinking about Louis? Maybe they were right, maybe it wasn’t destiny but circumstance. 

Things got worse recently, after Niall went to his flat a couple of days before, wearing that big old tee and Louis told him he smelled like Harry. He wasn’t jealous, not really. It was Niall, for god’s sake. But Niall was around his baby a lot, they had a close friendship not many knew about. Something about the unusual sadness in Niall's eyes told him much more than the calls Haz never answered. Harry didn’t want him anymore. They were done. 

The pressure in his head felt compressive like the one in his heart. All those shots, pints and pot weren’t a good combination. Neither was that boy with curls but the wrong shade of green when he woke up that morning in a hotel room, unable to remember much about the night before. But what else could he do? How could he go to Harry right now and tell him he was sorry for his insecurities? For ruining everything without a good reason? How could he tell him he was sorry? Liam and Oli said he needed to give it time, but everyday felt a little bit more far away from home. So he came back. 

There was a notepad where they used to write the grocery list sitting on the counter, next to the fridge. He took it and the pen on the table, the dim light coming from the closed window. He didn't know what to do, how to get out of this pain, this love. How to be himself again. 

So Louis did the only thing he felt like he could do right: he wrote a song. It was more of a letter, really. But it was shaped like a song, that was his strong suit after all.  And Harry loved to see him write, once upon a time. Used to dance with him in that kitchen, used to make him pancakes in the morning. They used to talk and fuck and chat for hours between those walls. 

To Harry: 

Woke up alone in this hotel room

Played with myself, where were you?

Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon

I've never felt less cool 

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated, Harry

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

I saw Niall the other day

He said you feel just fine

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

I see it's written, it's all over his face

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call,

And by the way

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

But you, you never do

Woke up this boy who looked just like you

I almost said your name

We haven't spoke since you went away

Comfortable silence is so overrated

Why won't you ever say what you want to say?

Even my phone misses your call

By the way…

 He stopped there, unable to continue. His hand was shaking, the tears were smushing the ink on the paper. What a fucking cliche, crying after promising himself he wasn’t going to do it. Nothing could hurt as much as losing his mum, nothing could compare. So why was he crying? Why couldn’t he just fucking stop?

Louis got up from the chair and walked away from the dining table, leaving the notepad there. He knew deep in his broken heart that the next time he came back it was going to be there. Left and forgotten, just like that house and those memories. Louis left it there next to his allowance to feel sorry for himself. He needed to grow up, get away from those parties and false people. He was going to get his shit together, write away his feelings and find his sound. 

And if Harry didn’t want him in his life, then there was nothing left to do, right?

May 2017

 The recording of Back to you was finally over and now they need it to work in the music video and he wanted to film it on Doncaster. It felt right to go back to his ‘home’, if he couldn't go back home, you know what I mean? It went well with the theme. 

Louis was driving back from the studio to his flat when a notification popped out in this phone: Harry’s album was out and apparently, people thought a couple of songs were about him. Louis wasn't going to be surprised if they were, both wrote about each other a lot along the way. And the fans loved to link things, made up theories about the Larry situation. Something he wished he could out and say ‘yes it was true but it's over now, please stop tagging me, it hurts’. It didn’t. not as much anymore. 

Or that’s what he thought until he heard track 4, Two Ghost. He knew those lyrics, Harry had written them years ago. That is what they used to call each other’s public images: ghosts. Images without a soul. What a young and dramatic pair they used to be, back in 2013. 

He didn't cry with that one, maybe because of its familiarity. And he wasn’t even mad about the songs about girls, he knew Harry better than that, even after all this time. 

Next was Sweet Creature, the one everyone was speculating about, and honestly Harry, ‘two hearts, one home’? The song felt different. Maybe because he thought that Harry didn’t really remember about their lost home, about being young and in love. Too young to know, most people used to say. What a fool he was for listening. Now he knew, and it was too late. 

Kiwi was funny in the most depressing way for him, Woman felt like an anthem, it felt like Harry’s jealousy, his deep and most dark possessive behavior. But then, when a chord from a guitar came in he went to his phone to check the name. He wasn’t quick enough, tho. The first verse stopped him right there. It was a good thing he parked in his apartment building a couple of songs ago. 

Because there, in the shape of the last song of H’s first album, it was Louis' letter. His feelings in a notepad, in the shape of an awkward song. Almost word by word, Harry’s voice filled the car with calmness and longing, a branch of olive. He was giving the first step. If those little easter eggs along the album weren’t enough, he took Louis letter from two fucking months ago and put it there. He probably had to push the label to do it, with such short notice. Harry went out of his way to let him know it wasn’t over. 

Harry went back to Princess Park, just like him. He went back home. 

 ----

His friend picked up the phone after two missed calls. 

‘Oi Lou, how ya doin?’ the thick Irish accent wasn’t enough of a distraction. 

‘Hey lad, I’m fine. Sorry to bother but I need to ask you something’ he could hear the urgency in his own voice. 

‘Never a bother mate, whatever you need’ Niall, always the optimistic. Louis loved him. 

‘Is Harry staying here? In London I mean’ 

‘What? What's going on?’ and then ‘Oh, the album is out, innit?’ 

‘Yeah…’

‘Okay, well, Harry was going to be with Nick today so yeah, he must be doing press shit’

‘Of course, makes sense, thank you mate. I will explain later ’

‘Sure, use protection’

Louis rolled his eyes but didn’t deny the implications. The car came to life once again and he started driving to Harry’s house. The one they used to spend time in when they had some time between recording and touring. He didn’t even feel annoyed by the traffic, listening to the album all over again. Letting his body welcome Harry once again.

Of course, he still had his keys, drowned deep in the glovebox. He wasn’t going to enter the actual house, but it wouldn’t have been smart to stay outside on the street, someone could recognise him. 

So once he parked in front of the building and noticed Harry wasn’t home, he closed his eyes and took a breath after what felt like hours. The next time he opened them there was a hand taping on his windows, he had fallen asleep.

It was a big hand adorned with rings and some nail polish. Louis knew what it felt to hold it more than he knew his own face. He took a deep breath and opened the door. Harry was waiting outside, a small smile making just one dimple appear. It was the first time they had seen each other in months but Louis felt like no time had passed. And if Louis was going to turn into an idiotic helpless cliche then it better be because of a boy as wonderful and beautiful as him. There was no one else. Harry was it. 

‘I thought it was going to take you longer ’

‘To listen to the album or to get my shit together? ’

Harry seemed to consider his answer for a second, the dramatic little shit that he was. Then he smiled and Louis forgave him immediately. 

‘Both’

Louis laughed and took a step closer to the love of his life. 

‘I’m sorry, baby, I'm really sorry ’

‘Me too’

‘If you let me kiss you right now I’m never letting you go again. It's your choice’

‘Never wanted you to go in the first place’

‘Right answer’

And then they kissed because there wasn't much left to say. At least not right now. The conversation could wait for the next morning, once they had sex, pancakes and maybe a little dance in the kitchen. For old times sake.

----

Soooo, I wrote this because I couldn’t get the idea of Louis writing this song out of my head. And like, it sounds so much like Harry’s writing, this is not a theory at all. But I liked the idea so yeah. It’s probably gonna be my first and only fic about Larry, hope you like it. 

All the mistakes are mine and its noy my first language, sorry if the grammar is trashy. Thanks. 

#larry #larry stylinson #larry fic #larry fic rec #larry fanfic #fanfic #harry styles #louis tomlinson #canon compliant #but fiction #i don't think they broke up #and if they did is not my bussiness #just so you know

[winter-soldier-vibes]

She’d rather be beautiful than alive (Avengers x Anorexic reader)

She'd rather be beautiful than alive

Based loosely on the song Deadly Beauty by Alexa Shea

Avengers x anorexic reader

Word count: 2070

Warnings: anorexia, purging, over exercise, depression

Summary: Reader has a serious eating disorder and the team decides to hold an intervention.

-------------------------

Nobody saw it coming. No one needed to. 

You were always so….well, you. Badass fighter, wouldn’t take no for an answer, life-loving Y/N! There was never any reason for anyone to worry about you. But little did they know

You had a secret. 

You had just gotten out of a serious relationship. You had loved him, but apparently he didn’t  anymore. No, you had found out he had been cheating on you. Someone who was prettier than you, skinnier than you. And that was a few weeks ago. You never stopped loving him, and you’d do anything to get him back. 

The team knew that breakup was pretty rough for you, but you hid how torn apart you were. You didn’t want them to worry about you or think that you were being stupid for feeling so broken because of him. 

It started out small. You began skipping Cap’s training sessions, claiming you were tired, but in reality you couldn’t sleep. You made it up later in the day, spending hours on the cardio machines or punching away all of your feelings. You stopped eating. You couldn’t...no, you wouldn’t. After seeing him with that skinny girl? No way. But when the team all got together for meals, you would participate so no one would get suspicious. Afterwards, you would go to your room and put on some music before going into your bathroom to get rid of the little you had eaten.

You were convinced that if you were perfect you could get him back. But what you didn’t realize was that you were already beautiful. And because you didn’t know this, you were destroying yourself in the pursuit of perfection. And you told yourself “I’d rather be beautiful than alive.”

This went on for a few months. Your clothes became baggier, you became more withdrawn and anxious, and you were obviously getting thinner. At first the team had pegged it on the breakup, thinking it would be a phase and that you would get over it. Plus, you were eating around them, so they weren’t too concerned. But the longer this went on and the more weight you lost, the more concerned the team became. 

They tried to approach you about it, but you would just wave them off or change the subject. You didn’t want anyone to stop you from becoming perfect. You were losing significant amounts of weight and along with it, your strength. You were spending more and more time in your room, too afraid of the conversations the team was trying to have with you.

The team decided to take the time to have a meeting to discuss what was going on. They were all worried about you and wanted to figure out the best way to move forward.

They all gathered in the living area in silence for a few minutes, no one really knowing how to start. Most of them were sitting, but Steve stood, not feeling able to sit. They were all really worried about you and your health. They knew it had been a hard time for you recently, but things were getting out of hand.

“So what do we know right now?” Tony started.

Steve sighed and leaned against his hands on the back of his chair. “She stopped coming to training sessions a few months ago. But later on in the day I’ll find her in the gym. I don’t really think anything of it but sometimes I’ll walk by hours later and she’s still on the same machine. She’s lost a lot of strength and she’s lost a lot of weight. I mean, I know she eats with us but I don’t understand how she’s gotten so thin.”

Bucky entered the conversation, adding “I’m not so sure she’s sleeping anymore either. She always seems so exhausted.”

“But is that exhaustion from lack of sleep or lack of food?” Nat asked. Everyone turned to look at her with confusion. “Oh come on, I mean, yeah, she eats with us, but like...once every few days? Has anyone seen her outside of that?””

The team dropped their heads, trying to think of the last time they had seen you eat outside of the team meals only to realize they hadn’t seen you period outside of team meals. 

The team fell silent again after a few solemn shakes of their head. After a few minutes, Bruce said, “I think I know what’s going on.”

“She barely eats anymore, she goes to the gym for hours at a time, she’s withdrawing, she’s lost significant amounts of weight, hiding in her room, not sleeping…” He looks up to see everyone staring at him. “Guys, I think she’s anorexic.”

At first people started to protest, but then realised that it made a lot of sense. They fell silent again, until Steve asked “When did this even start? Why would she hurt herself like this?”

After thinking for a moment, Bucky said “Her boyfriend.” He looked up to meet the eyes of the rest of the team. “After they broke up, she started distancing herself from us. Stopped eating, upped the workouts… God how did we not see this sooner?”

Knowing he was right, they all began to have different reactions.

Tony was angry. He didn’t understand why you would do this over some asshole. Bruce was concerned, a little more so than everyone else due to his medical background. Sam, Steve and Bucky were ready to go kill your ex out of pure rage. And Wanda and Natasha were already trying to think of ways to help you, you were like a sister to them. But underneath all of this, everyone had a similar feeling - they all blamed themselves.

For not noticing sooner. Hell, for not doing something sooner. They let you brush them off, they would watch you overwork yourself, they watched you dwindle down to nothing - they let you slowly kiil yourself. 

“So what do we do now?” Steve broke the silence. 

Everyone looked at Bruce, figuring he would know since he knew the most about Anorexia. He paused for a minute before stating “Well, we should probably set up some sort of intervention. She needs to know we care. But…” he shakes his head before continuing “She’s not going to be very open to it. She’s probably going to get really defensive about it and deny it to some extent. But there’s no telling how it’s going to go.”

“So when should we do it?” Steve asks

“When should we do what?”

Everyone whipped around at the sound of your voice to see you standing at the entrance of the living space. No one had heard you walking in. 

“Hey, Y/N.” Bruce spoke. Can you come sit down?”

You wanted to say no, as you had been on your way to the gym. But you had picked up on the serious tone in the room, and nodded your head, sitting in the chair that Steve was standing behind. He walked around to the other side of the room and looked at you. “Are you okay Y/N?”

No, you did NOT want to have this conversation. You weren’t done yet and you knew they would just stop you. You needed to be perfect and you weren’t there yet. “Yeah, I’m fine. That's it?”

“Y/N, no you’re not. Don’t lie to us.”

“Tony!”

“What he means,” Bruce interrupted, more gently, “is that we’re worried about you.”

You looked at him and attempted (and failed) a smile. “Why would you be worried about me?”

Bruce sighed before continuing. “Y/N, you’re not eating. You’re extremely thin. You work out way too much every day. You’re withdrawing, you’re tired… what’s going on?”

“:No I’m not!” you exclaim, standing up. You ignore the black invading your vision. “Look, I appreciate the concern and all, really. But I assure you, I am fine. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to go.” You begin to make your way to the door you came in, but Bruce nodded at Steve who then stood in front of the doorway.

“Steve, please get out of my way.” you said while averting your gaze. If you made eye contact surely he would know something was up.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Y/N.” he said gently. 

“Steve, please -”

“Y/N, I’m sorry but you’re not going anywhere until you talk about this.”

At that moment you felt extremely trapped. You were panicking. If you didn’t get out of sight soon you would break down in front of everyone. You weren’t ready for that. So you showed an emotion that was much more comfortable: Anger.

“Steve, seriously, just move the fuck out of my way.” You attempted to push him, but to no avail. You kept trying, but because he was Steve and you being so weak, nothing happened. You kept pushing until Steve grabbed your wrists and your anger began to melt into anguish. “I’m not perfect yet.”

This took him by surprise, and he looked to everyone else in the room. No one else had heard what you had said. He led you back to the chair, tears beginning to brim your eyes as you kept your head down. Steve took a deep breath before asking “What do you mean you’re not perfect Y/N?”

Your tears began spilling over, and you shook your head. “It’s not going to make any sense to you guys. Just forget it…”

“Y/N, whatever it is, we just want to help. What’s this about?” Bruce said.

You put your head in your hands, trying to hide the shame and panic in your features. You started, “I just...I thought… if I….then maybe…” you sighed, and pulled at your hair for a second, tying to ground yourself. After a few seconds you closed your eyes and tried again. “When I broke up with (name of ex or someone you want attention from), it was because he was cheating on me. He was seeing someone who was just...better than me. God this sounds so stupid...sorry… I just thought that if I was better then maybe…  maybe he’d come back. At least that’s how it started. Now… I mean I want to stop sometimes, it’s just… I just feel like I’m too far gone. I’m sorry…” 

By this point you were shaking and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at the rest of the team. You felt panic setting in now that everything was out and you just wanted to get out of the room, away from watching eyes. You tried to get up and leave again, but this time it was Bucky who stopped you. He had been sitting right next to you and grabbed your wrist, standing up with you. You tried to wrestle your arm free, but he just encased you in a hug. You fought for a few seconds but then gave way, crying into his shoulder. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Bucky asked you

You stepped back and sat back down. “I didn’t know what to say. I thought...I just don’t know how to stop.”

“Just let us help you. Please, Y/N, we want to help you.” Bruce offered.

“I can’t stop…”

“Yes you can, Y/N. you mean so much to everyone on this team. You are amazing, forget whatever he made you feel.” Steve began. “I’m sorry we didn’t say something sooner.” you saw the rest of the team nod their heads. In response you shook yours. “I never thought that it would go this far.”

“Hey,” you looked at Bucky sitting next to you. “It’s not your fault. You’re trying your best with what you were given. It’s okay. And it’s going to be okay even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.”

You looked down. “Thank you guys. I’m sorry for all of this.”

Sam finally spoke up. “No sweat, kid. Now, remind us of this dude’s name.”

You looked at him puzzled. “Why?” 

“Because I think it’s time the Avengers pay Mr. Son of a Bitch a visit.”

You laughed and looked up at the rest of them. “I really do love you guys.”

#avengers #steverogers #buckybarnes #brucebanner #samwilson #tonystark #marvel #fanfiction #comfort #anorexiacomfort #deadlybeauty #alexashea #songlyrics #imagine

[dailyaudiobible]

10/04/2021 DAB Transcript

Jeremiah 2:31-4:18, Colossians 1:1-17, Psalm 76:1-12, Proverbs 24:21-22

Today is October 4th, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible, I am Brian, it is great to be here with you today, it’s great to be with you every day. But today is today and it's great to be here with you today. As we come around the Global Campfire and let it all go, whatever that thing is that snagging at us that are those things, these pressures, these obligations and responsibilities. These fears, these uncertainties, we are allowed to carry them around as much as we want. That's not necessarily a healthy thing to do and we are also given permission to not carry them around. But let's at least give ourselves permission to not carry them around right now, like we’re around the Global Campfire now, we’re safe right now. And, what’s gonna happen now is we’re just going to read the Scriptures and let them wash into our lives and so often something that we need is there and so often when we leave this place, the things that we have to pick up and carry, they don't have the same weight. Things shift and so let’s just let it all go as we move forward in our journey and take the next step forward. Which leads us back into the book of Jeremiah, which we just began yesterday. So, we’re just getting going in Jeremiah. When we get to the New Testament, we have new territory there as well. But first Jeremiah chapter 2, verse 31 through 4, verse 18.

Introduction to the Book of Colossians:

Okay, so we concluded the letter. Paul's letter to the Philippians yesterday. Which brings us to the 12th book in the New Testament, which is another letter from the apostle Paul, this one to the Colossians and the Colossians were people who lived in the city of Colossae which was not a place unfamiliar to Paul. It’s about 100 miles from where he spent a lot of his time in Ephesus and Colossae is, I don't know that it’s an archaeological ruins or site, at this point it’s been identified, but not really excavated. It sits in modern-day Turkey. But during Paul's life, Colossae wasn't an archaeological ruin at all. It was a bustling city and it had everything that you can imagine that bustling city in the Roman Empire would have, a lot of mingling of culture, a lot of mingling of philosophical ideas, a lot of mingling of spirituality and some of this mingling had made its way into the Colossian church. And so, Paul writes this letter as a response and similar to Ephesians and Philippians, Colossians is generally considered to be a prison epistle, so another letter that Paul wrote while he was awaiting trial before the emperor and the letter generally has two sections, to two themes. The first is a doctrinal issue. There had been people coming into the church and we’ve seen this before. This is a little different though, people would come into the church, they were fellowshipping in the church, but also teaching things like Angel worship, and some just other rituals that were not part of what Paul was teaching. And so, Paul addresses this in this letter by showing us once again this high, high Christology, this awareness that Christ is supreme over all creation, over all angelic beings, over everything. He writes in his letter that the universe, the very universe is created by and through Jesus and is…is sustained through the Lordship of Christ. And then Paul also addresses something we’ve seen before this, circumcised versus uncircumcised controversy that was dominant in the early church. We’ve seen it in other letters where people come in and I like no you got obey the Jewish customs, you’ve got to essentially become Jewish, then follow the Jewish Messiah, follow those customs, which Paul was very, very much against. We've had lots of conversations about that, in Colossians Paul is still against that teaching and so we’ll once again hear him make corrections and once again we have a letter that was sent to actual people in an actual congregation giving us insight into what was happening in their congregation. And since we have a collection of letters from Paul, we see the themes, the commonalities, the different things that the early churches were facing and for that matter, their distinctions and the different cities. But we get a really good glimpse at the struggles that were going on among our brothers and sisters that are our spiritual ancestors. And as we read these letters, we find that maybe context changes a little. The cities definitely change, the regions definitely change but the things that we find ourselves wrestling with, in dealing with, within ourselves and with…with in our fellowships, within our communities of faith, we still have this kind of stuff going on and so these letters, Colossians being the one that were about to read, serve as opportunities to be corrected, to find a path again, to get our NorthStar back and walk in a direction that is profitable for the kingdom of God. And so, we begin Colossians chapter 1 verses 1 through 17 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for this new territory into this letter to the Colossians that we are entering into, we ask that You lead and guide our hearts and we might understand what we need to understand, plant the seeds of the Scriptures in our lives. And may they yield the fruit of the Spirit, that we may have a bountiful harvest not only for our own hearts, may it spill out into our marriages and our families, may it spill over into our faith communities, may it spill out into this world that we may be that city on a hill, that we may be a light in the darkness, that we may illuminate the narrow path that leads to life. Come, Holy Spirit into all of this we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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dailyaudiobible.com is home base and that's the website, it’s where you can find out what's going on around here, how to get connected around here, how to pray for one another. I mean there's all kinds of resources in the Daily Audio Bible website. You can access all this using the Daily Audio Bible app as well. There is little drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner. So, things like the Daily Audio Bible Shop where there are resources for the journey that we find ourselves on. Now that we’re moving into the final quarter of the year there are a number of resources there in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. Also, the Community section, that is, that is how to get connected. The different social media channels that you can follow Daily Audio Bible on and that is that's, if you taking the journey, that's a good thing to do because that allows us to make announcements, etc. etc. and so check that out. The links are all in the Community section.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

Hi, Daily Audio Bible family, this is God’s Life Speaker. I am calling on behalf of my son, Joshua, who you all have prayed for, for years now. He's 21 and at graduate school and he has been in a state if not well for quite a while and last night I was talking to him and it just broke out into prayer with him and we just need whatever is taking him down, fighting for his soul, to go, to be cast as far as the east is from the west. Family, please let’s stand together for these mental health issues these young people are having in the name of Jesus. We ask that Your mighty hand come over Joshua and anyone that is in need of being delivered from this spiritual realm that is of darkness and they feel they're in a pit and cannot come above. But You’re there and we love You Lord and you're allowing this to go through Your hands. In the name of Jesus, we ask that You would deliver these people, bring them up, may they long to love You. May they overcome these things, may they be refined and may they be magnifying Your name. I ask it in Your son's precious name. Amen.

Good morning DABer family this is the Burning Bush That Will Not Be Devoured for the Glory of our God and our King. I am calling for our sister Alyssa from Montana. Sister, I am praying for you. I prayed for you when I heard your prayer request and for those that didn’t hear, she is legally blind. She had COVID recently and lost her senses of taste and smell, and that is definitely hitting her a hard. My sister, I want you to know that I prayed for you and I believe that the same God who raised the dead can restore your senses. And so, Father God, I pray Oh Lord, that you restore her senses and…and give her just divine healing of her body that she will be whole, Father. And God, I thank You Oh Lord, because you love Alyssa and I pray that you just guide her as she awaits Your miracle. Thank You God for miracle after miracle in the name of Jesus I pray, Amen. We love you, my sister. May God bless and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you and give you peace and giver you your sense of smell and give you your sense of taste. God Bless, bye.

Hello there, DAB family. I love this community. Thank you so much. This is my first time. I just wanted to reach out to my Aussie friend there, in Canada. But my Aussie friend there that just requested prayer for his, I believe it’s his brother or friend. I know about mental illness. My mother had schizophrenia so, it is very difficult to have a loved one with this illness and just pray protection over him, bring him home Lord Jesus. Bring him to his place of peace, Lord and just comfort him right now, in his grief Oh Lord. The grief, can sometimes overwhelm but you have given us peace, so bring him to that place. Lord Jesus, and I also want to pray for the mom that reached out from Wyoming. I pray for wisdom and strength for your daughter to make the right decision. That she will just know from your wisdom as a mother, that she would listen to you and open her heart to take Godly advice. I pray Father that she will make the right decision. I also would love prayer for my…my daughter in Australia and my son, who are now not talking to me. They’re just going through, they’re adult children, they’re going through hard time with this pandemic. Just please pray that God would touch their hearts and they would come back to Him. Bless you all. I love you all.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family. This is Becky in Orlando and I would like for all of our Daily Audio Bible prayer warriors to come and circle around our new sister in the Daily Audio Bible family. Her name is Myra, she’s from New Jersey and I just met her in one of our hotels. Myra has been dealing with some horrible things that have happened to her where she just got attacked while she was in New Jersey. And she’s dealing now with PTSD. And if we could just pray for Myra. Anyway, I’ll start us off, Dear God, if you could please send the Blessed Comforter, the Holy Spirit, to tend to Myra, to give her comfort that only Jesus can give to her, to mend her wounds, both psychologically and spiritually. And, we know that this can be done because You are just the most amazing God and I pray that she listens to the Daily Audio Bible everyday and that it brings her comfort. And I pray that anybody else that’s listening to this would be able to get just the word that Jesus knows and God’s knows, the Holy Spirit knows all the plans that we have that He has for our lives. Sometimes the picture, we can’t see the big picture but He has such big plans and we don’t understand what His plans are for us at the time. So, please allow God’s plans to you know to unfold in her life and I pray that she just keeps on listening. So, Myra, from New Jersey, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible family and God Bless you, my sister. Alright, thanks Daily Audio Bible prayer warriors around the world. Alright, bye.

Hello, this is Nelly. I just want to let you all know that I’m praying for you all. And it’s such an encouragement to be part of this Community. I just pray that you also pray for me as I’m struggling with very dark and depressing thoughts. It’s been such a struggle. I haven’t been able to sleep. I’m just asking for prayer, thank you. I love you all.

[changbin-froggy-jimin]

Heartbreak House (Mafia!Namjoon X Reader)

Summary: Mafia boss Kim Namjoon has stolen your heart. He was your first love and kept you safe no matter the cost, but suddenly he throws you to the curb. No reason given except that fact that he's completely over you and that it's time for you to go.

Soft hearts get you killed, but Namjoon's heart is only soft for you and his closest men. He knows he messed up big time, can he fix it before it's to late? 

(The story is better than the description, it’s just been so long since I’ve written one)

Pairings: Namjoon X Reader, Kinda Yoongi & Jimin

Tags: Angst Angst Angst, But! With a happy ending, Mafia boss Namjoon, Discussions of mental health, Dissociation, Break up/Post-break up, 2nd person pov, And Reader (you) is kept gender neutral.

Word Count: 5.5k

Oh! also reader is referred to with Angel as opposed to Y/N

"You were stupid if you thought this was ever truly going to last"

His words sting, tears build up in your eyes despite you not giving them permission to do so. You shouldn't have gotten attached you knew it, but you couldn't help it. Namjoon was dangerous, more dangerous than anyone you have ever met before, but he was also so sweet with you. How were you not supposed to fall for him?

"I- I thought-"

"You thought wrong. Now leave"

This man was your first kiss, your first... everything. How could you have been so stupid.

"Joon what happened? We can work on it, wherever it is, I just don't understand where this is coming from?"

You're met with silence. Where was this coming from? You had known Namjoon for almost three years, and had spent the last two in a relationship. And yeah finding out the well dressed man was actually a mob boss had been quite the surprise but as long as you kept your head down you had never minded. He always told you business got left at the door step and never once had that not been true so you let it go. If you were eventually caught up in some kind of sting they wouldn't have anything on you so you really didn't have a reason to be scared. And you knew above anything else that Joonie would protect you with his life and he had even done so before. The most recent of his scars, one that sat right above his eyebrow, was a testament to the promise he has made you. So whatever attitude change this was... Wherever this mood swing came from you honestly didn't know.

You try to wrack your brain for something he could be upset about but come up with almost nothing. You follow the rules set in place for you to stay here, you don't cause undue trouble for yourself or anyone else here. Sometimes you could be loud or annoying but that wasn't against the rules and most of the time it was encouraged by those around you.

Most of the time Joon was never angry but especially around you. Yeah, he had a big of a harsh image. Most people who knew him, knew him as heartless. His kindness is what surprised you most once you actually learned who he was past the first initial meeting one crisp October afternoon.

You had seen him looking quite lost outside of the shop you worked in, and had pulled him inside. He was charming and kind, and asked you for directions, stating he was lost and was just looking for help. He ended up staying for a lot longer then you both thought he would, finding the conversation easy and light. At the end of the night as you were closing up, having no idea where the time went, he had asked if he could see you again. You really had no reason to say no, so you didn't. Later he told you he was hiding from the cops and needed a good cover, but that you had been the best cover he had found yet.

You refused to believe that everything you felt, everything you knew he felt was fake as well. You knew he had moments, moments where this harsh side of him came out, he told you about it before. But you had never seen it for yourself. If this was what it felt like to be on the bad side of Kim Namjoon... You didn't even want to think about it. You just want your Joonie back.

"I had your things packed for you. They'll be at your apartment around noon." When did your boyfriend start to sound so dead inside?

"What are you talking about? I haven't lived there for at least a year. This is my home!"

"Not anymore it. Now leave, or I'll have someone make you." It was so cold. So absolutely lacking of any of the warmth you were so used to. More tears fell down your cheeks.

Maybe it was just a mood, maybe something happened, you just couldn't believe it was over... Just like that with no real reason. You know he always makes good on his promises. No matter how much you screamed and yelled, no matter if it ended with someone three times your size coming and physically moving you, it would still end with you leaving. And you were not interested in someone moving you like a child. It's not like you wanted to cause that big of a scene outside of these doors either. So you head for the door, there's just nothing else you can do at the moment. The shock from this whole situation confusing you more than anything.

You rest your hand on the door frame, slightly turning back to him. Hoping that somehow, some time he'd tell you it was all a mistake, he didn't mean it and he'd pull you back into his arms and hold you like he did only hours ago.

But he didn't. He said nothing and started to read the papers that were left for him on his desk. He glanced over at you just about the rim of his reading glasses that he must have put on while you were turned.

"Leave" and so you did, not sparing another glance to the man who you thought had cherished your heart.

Several days later, it's Yoongi who walks through Namjoon's door. Disappointment and longing hit Namjoon, dashed hopes of someone else walking through the door feels like a tangible weight in his heart. Namjoon sets aside his emotions like he always has, ready to talk about updates on the arms shipment they were hoping to intercept. Except he knows the look Yoongi is giving him, and that look means trouble. Namjoon and Yoongi have known each other since they were just kids causing trouble on the streets. This is the face his oldest friend makes when he's about to cause trouble and knows he can get away with it because Joon has a soft spot for him.

"Save it" He turns back to his work, not at all interested in what Yoongi has to say.

Yoongi meanders around the room, taking loud steps and overall doing his best to annoy the man at the desk.

"What do you want?" Namjoon says, more annoyed at the pacing then anything else.

"Thought I should 'Save it'. Are you really flip flopping so easily? You know that's not a good look for us right? Makes us look sloppy, like we don't do our due diligence." Yoongi comes to a short stop in front of the desk, tapping his nails without any set rhythm, before continuing his trek around the room. Picking up any objects that piqued his interest and setting them back upside down or facing the wrong direction.

"Yoongi..." The Namjoon says, sighing like he had the whole world on his shoulders. How sad for him.

"I just find it interesting because just last week you called every single crew member into a meeting in which you said that, and I quote, 'Angel 'Wasn't going to leave anytime soon' and anyone that didn't treat 'Your precious darling' with respect was going to feel your wrath. So when's your execution appointment Namjoon?" Yoongi leans against a bookshelf near the desk, crossing his arms over his chest. Letting the words sink in. And sink they do.

"It's not safe here Yoongi and we both know it. My Angel is better off without me, and better off not being here."

Yoongi pauses at that. Taking a second to think this 'revelation' over. It just struck him as... Wrong. How was everything fine last week and a mess this one?

"What are you talking about? It's safe here. There's at least 50 armed guards at any given moment and that's just outside. Your 'Angel' is always with someone you trust and never wanders off alone, and we both know that everyone would die to keep them safe. Not even just you and me, everyone. Anyone who tried something would be put down with more bullet holes than you could count."

"That doesn't matter. One wrong move and we'd have to clean up another body. Do you want to deal with that on your conscience? Knowing that one of ours got killed trying to keep Angel safe? It's not our crew's jobs to keep our lovers safe."

Yoongi scoffs at that. It's exactly what he thought. Somewhere in the recesses off Namjoon's brain still lives the scared kid who's so afraid of losing people that he just pushes them away. Yoongi didn't let Namjoon push him away and he absolutely wouldn't let him do it to the obvious love of his life.

"You did this to save your own skin, none of this was to save our crew and we both know it. You caught feelings and heartless Kim Namjoon couldn't deal with the aftermath, so you push everyone away and then you don't have to deal with your emotions do you?" Irritation drips from every word and he states it as fact because he knows it is. Knows it'll hurt to hear. He hopes it wakes the idiot out of his stupor. For someone so intelligent he can be an absolute idiot.

Namjoon's body tenses at Yoongi's words, trying to hold the anger back and not lash out like he so desperately wanted to.

"Think very carefully about what you're going to say next"

"What? You gonna throw me out with the next trash cycle just like you did with your 'Angel'. Real heartwarming."

The Namjoon takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, fists clenched and jaw set.  Yoongi knows well enough by now that if he doesn't want to be burnt after playing with fire its time for him to go. Yoongi pushes off the bookshelf, heads towards the door instead.

Yoongi pauses in the doorway, hand on the same place Angel's was, the visual doesn't help Namjoon try to forget.

"Fix it, Namjoon, before its to late Otherwise, you'll destroy yourself and end up in that dark pit again." He wants to say more, wants to dive more into the meat of the issue, but it's just not who they are. So he closes the door behind him and hopes that his boss figures it out himself.

The door lightly slams behind him. Inside Namjoon realizes the truth in what Yoongi said.

Namjoon takes out the painkillers, a headache coming on.

Outside the door Jimin waits.

"Did you get through to him? Will he fix it?" Angel's bodyguard, well, ex-bodyguard is practically bouncing off the walls with nerves. It's not at all how any of them should be acting, but Yoongi figures none of them really act like they're supposed to anymore. He throws a comforting hand on the kids head; it's enough to shock him out of the bouncing.

"I don't know, but I hope so." He fluffs the kids hair a bit. Jimin sputters at the action, pulling away in a huff to fix his hair. Yoongi chuckles as he watches the other.

"Let's go get something to eat, huh, take your mind off it for a bit."

Jimin's face goes from annoyed to shocked in a second, no doubt remembering when Yoongi was more likely to shoulder check him then even say hi. It's splits into one of those wide grins that only Jimin can pull off which makes Yoongi's heart flutter.

"Ok!"

Yoongi wraps his arm around the other mans shoulder to pull him towards the parking lot so he doesn't have to look directly at that smile anymore. The kid starts rambling on and on about what he's been doing recently, always glancing back to make sure Yoongi is still paying attention to him. Yoongi hangs off of every word even if he doesn't show it.

When did he become so soft?

The first month back at your old apartment was the worst. You were so used to visiting the complex that to not be there constantly was a big shock to your system. It didn't help that you were all alone. Joon didn't always have time to spend with you but someone always kept you company. Most of the time you went to hang out with Jimin where Hobi worked in the makeshift infirmary, making jokes about the organs and blood while Hobi stitched back up their lower ranking members. He didn't mind you two being there as long as you both kept a respectful distance and weren't to loud, If you were, it only resulted in Hobi just lightly scolding you guys and continuing his work without missing a beat. You and Jimin would just laugh a bit quieter and whisper for a few minutes before turning back to a more normal volume.

The reactions to your teasing were usually just the patient on the table grimacing but not saying anything as they knew they couldn't without significant repercussions. The last guy who complained was made into a spectacle, and while you did feel kinda bad about it, he did call you a "Disgusting whore who was only there for the money". So, you weren't really crying over his loss. The rest, who had a good sense of humor tended to laugh at the jokes and sounds of disgust, this actually annoyed Hobi more as he kinda needed his patients to be still on the operation table and not shaking from holding back laughter. If the injury was serious enough he might have kicked you both out but you would just go down the hall to where Jungkook was most likely playing a game and join him instead. Plus, it actually helped morale in the heath center as Hobi tended to stay completely silent and the frowny face he always wore around the lesser ranking members was enough to skin the confidence off any man.

The memories make you smile.

The second month was a bit better, having fallen back into a routine again. You still miss the rest of the crew, and try to avoid thoughts of Joon like the plague, keeping yourself busy by working yourself to the bone. Your boss had thankfully let you come back no issues, apparently the business had fallen a little sideways in your absence.

Months three and four are about the same.

You're doing pretty well if you don't think about the fact that you cry yourself to sleep every night, but really other than that you're honestly great.

Month five hits the worst.

You had gotten sick, so very sick. All the endless overtime having finally caught up to you. Your boss, who was trying to be helpful, had told you to not come in for at least a week. He grateful for your help in getting the business standing on two legs again, and the kind old man had told you to take the proper time to recover. You were able to distract yourself for a while. Keeping yourself from the very thoughts that had haunted you so much these past few months. But the distractions stopped working about day two and things mostly went downhill from there. It took a lot of ice cream to help calm you down. But after spending the whole week on the couch crying you did actually start feeling a bit better. Most days after that week left you feeling lighter and happier then the next. Sometimes you still had bad days, missing your friends who you had really considered family at that point. None of them had come to visit despite promising they would. You just assumed they had forgotten.

So at six months it was a surprise to hear a knock on the door. You knew better than to answer the door to strangers, but that wasn't a strangers knock. It was one of the coded ones that you were taught fairly early on in yours and Joon's relationship. You stupidly didn't check the peephole, hoping it was Jimin who would finally make good on his promise to meet you.

It wasn't.

Instead it was a rain drenched Namjoon holding slightly broken roses as if he had been running with no care for the flowers that he was holding. You didn't even like roses.

The smile instantly dropped from your face. Joon for the most part looked exactly the same, minus the water soaked hair. Suit was still expertly pressed, black metallic hoops still in place, the scar above his eyebrow still not fully grown back.

You try to close the door quickly in order to shut him out. Namjoon's hand flashes in between the door frame and the door itself, adding a leather shoe for good measure.

"Can we please talk?"

You want to say no, everything inside of you is screaming to say no. That this man broke your heart and wasn't worth your time or effort. You're in pajamas, it's pouring out, and your ex of six months has just shown up with the only flowers you've told him you despised.

You open the door.

Namjoon walks in with one of the small smiles you've only ever seen him make at you. It kinda makes you feel sick.

You sit at the small island bar in your kitchen. Namjoon moves as if he is going to sit next to you. You glare at him, putting your feet up on the seat.  He sighs before walking around the island so he can face you. He sets the roses down; the crystal vase shines like diamonds even with the terrible lighting you have in your apartment. No doubt it was stupidly expensive and bought at some famous boutique-y store. How pretentious. You pick out one of the roses, you start peeling away its petals as you wait for Namjoon to find his words. Instead he seems to focus on the stain that's spreading over your fingers from where the petals are being torn apart viciously.

When he doesn't say anything you supply your own commentary. It's the first words you've said to him since he abandoned you almost 6 months ago on the dot.

"I don't like roses."

"Jungkook said they were romantic" He supplies back, as if that would help his situation. Jungkook was a textbook romantic. You on the other hand, were not, or at least not with these cliche flowers.

"And I said I hated them, so you're really racking up points here"

He visibly swallows at that.

"Listen I know I messed up-"

"Messed up huh? You told me I meant nothing to you and that you never wanted to see me again. Then you show up out of the blue with a gift that really makes it look like you didn't even listen to what I told you when we were together."

"I didn't say you meant nothing to me. You're putting words in my mouth."

"Oh I'm putting words in your mouth? How could I? Me?" You grab at your chest for dramatic affect, hoping your words landed as scathingly as you meant them. You knew you were losing all control over your temper in the face of his complete stupidity. The words tumbling out of your mouth from pure anger. "You only viciously kicked me out of our home, packed up all my things and sent me to live by myself with absolutely no rhyme or reason. Abandoning me despite promising that you would never leave me. Forced me to leave all my friends behind and I'm sure, threatened them into not talking to me either. You threw me out without a reason, you held me before turning on me seemingly only two hours later when I left your office because you asked me to! Do you know how many nights I spent crying over you?!" You felt angry tears forming in your eyes. You wipe them quickly, he shouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

"Yes." The reply was small, like it wasn't even meant to be heard. He's not looking at you anymore. Looking at the countertop like it's so much more interesting instead.

"Yes? What do you mean yes?"

"Your apartment has been bugged since we first met."

You groan. "Why did I even like you, you're the absolute worst. Do you know how creepy that is? How horrifying it is to know that you've just been listening to me? That you sat there and thought that you should listen to me crying, not only just crying, because that would be to easy, but me crying over you because you broke my heart."

"Did?" His face fell, not that it has maintained a happy expression since you decided to tear up the roses he brought you right in front of his own face.

You just sigh throwing down the now much more miserable looking rose, ready to just tell him to get out of your apartment and your life, before he surprises you by continuing.

"I couldn't stand not hearing your voice. I thought about you every night and couldn't get your face out of my mind. It was the only way I could keep myself sane. He shuffles in his seat, discomfort etched across his entire face. "Everyday I spent watching the clock, hoping that the day would end knowing that you were going to be getting back from your shifts, and I could finally listen to your voice again. Our room has been so lonely without you. Even if you were crying there was a sick part of me that was just happy you were still thinking about me like I was thinking about you. Open and sore, still bleeding with feelings that you couldn't help but hold onto. I missed you so much. More than I thought one person could miss another."

He takes a breath before continuing, fidgeting in his seat and playing with his fingers. Eyes not meeting yours. "It made me realize how much I love you, and that I can't let you go. How I made the most stupid decision in my life based of fear which then became anger because I was scared I couldn't protect you." He runs his hands roughly through his hair messing up the slicked back look he had been sporting in his rain drenched state. "So I did the only thing I knew how to do. I pushed you away." Namjoon looks up into your face, his eyes wild, and willing you to believe him. "But I swear I never abandoned you. Someone was always with you, watching to make sure you got home safe and no one bothered you. I never once stopped thinking about you. I never once stopped protecting you. I kept my promises even if you didn't see them because I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. Even if you find someone else, I will always be here for you."

"Joon... You still hurt me." You look down, trying to not be swayed by the pain and franticness in his eyes."You still made me feel like everything we were was fake and that I meant nothing to you. How do I know that you won't just throw me away again tomorrow?" Your arms cross over your chest, trying to subconsciously protect yourself from this man who had broken you. "You left me alone for six months and come back and say all this stuff about love and care but you didn't show that to me once then. Now you want to get back together and for me to pretend like what? We're fine and nothing happened? Do you know how much what you did hurt me?" You look up to meet his gaze again. "You obviously spent all that time listening to me crying but never once thought about telling me why you did what you did? Do you know what I would have told you, if you had let me know why you were scared?" You stare him down, hoping that he can feel the pain that's settled in your soul. He looks back into your eyes with all of the emotions he's probably been hiding for months, it spills from him like a fountain. It's enough motivation to continue talking, knowing he was hanging off of every word like he was.

"That you worry about me Joon, but I am never in danger at the complex because of everyone there that respects you and will take care of me because of that. That if anything I'm scared for you every day you leave that office because I never know if you're coming home or not. Because I know it's not safe outside those walls but you spent months making sure I felt comfortable in ours. I knew what I was getting into when we started seriously dating. But I have always trusted you to keep me safe. There has never been doubt in my mind that you will do everything in your power to make sure all seven of us stay safe. Fearing for each other's lives was just going to be our normal but we both knew that. We both signed up for this knowing that. How could you just let that go?"

"I started slipping."

That... wasn't good.

"Joon... What happened?" You knew about his past, his history. That because of all the horrible things that Namjoon had to deal with, sometimes he would just go into a disassociate states. It's when he was his most destructive, most volatile. It was something you had only heard of and had never seen with your own eyes. Mainly heard from hushed whispers from the crew.

"It was bad this time. Someone broke into the complex. I got scared. More scared then I've ever been in my life and the switch just flipped back on. I couldn't feel anything. So I started doing what I always do when I get like that. I started problem solving, and the biggest problem was you, there wasn't anything else in that complex that I cared about more than you." His face scrunched up with pain, before evening out into something so sorrowful it stole the breath from your lungs. Everything about him seemed so small all of the sudden. Like all the air he used to puff himself up with, caused him to pop like a miserable balloon. "In my head it was like if I just got rid of you then everything would go back to normal and I could go back to not feeling so small and helpless. So that's what I did, even if it seemed like everything that was happening, was happening to someone else. Watching you listen to those words, what I was saying, felt like it was somewhere else, that I was someone else and it wasn't real. Nothing felt real..." He sighs deeply, rubbing his face like it could remove the bad memories before continuing.

"It took Yoongi coming in and telling me off, as much as I didn't want to hear, it for everything to finally click. That I had messed up, big time, and needed to fix it. But I knew that mindset was still lurking, that it could come back and hurt you accidentally." All of the sudden, his face breaks out into a sad smile. His eyes start to shimmer with tears. "So I went to therapy." He laughs out his confession. It feels fantastical, the way he spoke it,  like he didn't actually expect that it would work at all before making himself serious again. "I actually sat down with a therapist and talked about my issues, that's why it took so long to come back to you. I had to know it was safe, to know that I couldn't hurt you like I did before. To know how to deal with all of those feelings in a healthy way. I didn't want to make it worse so I just waited, waited everyday to make sure I could keep you as safe as possible, listened to you laugh, and sing, and cry, every night to remind myself to keep it together, and that I was doing this to make sure you would never cry again. That I wouldn't ever make you cry again. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back to you Angel." His body seems to relax with the confession, as if he had finally gotten the burden off that was holding him back.

"Do you know how bad that hurts to hear?" You were torn up. You thought he had... That he had abandoned you? Thought you were left for dead only to find out he did something so out of character of anything you thought he would ever do. It took him months to start opening up to you! You can't even imagine him going to someone to talk about his emotions.

"Then give me the chance to learn."

"Joon-"

"Please. I promise I'll treat you right this time. I'll take you on all the dates you want. We can go to the food stalls and get the greasy food you love so much; we can even go feed the ducks at the park; it doesn't matter how disgustingly domestic. I just don't want to be without you anymore. Please. I'm sorry." He let's out a curse before wiping away his own tears that had gathered in his eyes. Namjoon isn't one to beg, you don't think you've heard him say please once in the entire two years you've known him.

You sigh, you know his character, knows he means what he's said. But you also trusted him to mean it before.

You could feel all of your anger leaving, instead in its place was the want to have your old relationship back. The one where you both snuck Jungkook's console out of his room and played games till you couldn't keep your eyes open. Or when he would take you out to see the stars on the rooftop of one of his buildings, complete with a picnic and a stupid live band. The one where when you found out your mom passed and he held you while you cried for days, holing you both up inside his office and not going to any of his important meetings to make sure you were ok. The one where you brought him breakfast in bed but he didn't even eat it just pulled you into the bed for more cuddles. You missed it, there's nothing on this planet you missed more.

You wanted to believe him. More than anything you did.

"I don't know if I can trust you Joon. You absolutely broke my heart and it took me so long to get over you. I'm not even sure I really am..."

"Let me prove it to you. How serious I am about this. I'm more serious about this then I ever have been about anything else in my life. Please believe me Angel."

You cover your face with both hands, trying to rub away the actual emotion from showing. Hands grab your writs, pulling them gently away from your face. He was so much closer than he was a minute ago. He leans in and you don't stop him. His lips meet your tentatively, fully expecting you to pull away but you don't. You pull him in closer trying to make up for all the time you've spent apart. You had missed him so much, missed this, how soft he was with you. That despite what he chose to do as a profession he always held you like you were fragile, like if he held you to hard, you were going to break. And he had broken you, but he came back to put together the pieces and promised to do better, and you would hold him to that.

You pull back from the kiss, resting your forehead on his.

"The minute you pull something like that again I'm leaving and I'm never coming back."

"I know.  But I won't give you another reason to."

"You better not." You intend it to come out with malice but it just sounds relived. "Now come here, I've missed you so much." If the kiss was desperate the hug seems starved, Namjoon repeats 'Thank you Angel' while kissing the top of your head. You're just happy to feel his warmth again even if the hugging is a bit awkward due to you still sitting.

If he was serious about this, and you knew he was, you would fit back together. Something about him just pulled you in and it was hard to ignore. He was one of the sweetest and kindest people you had ever met. No one just does what he did not only for you, but for the six other men he considered family if he didn't truly have a heart. And you really had missed him just as much as he had clearly missed you. You wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life in his arms, even if the pieces are shattered right now and he'd really have to prove you could trust him again. You really want it to work, for both of your sakes.

#bts x reader #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x reader #mafia namjoon #bts mafia fic #also theres really not that much mafia besides dynamics I'm sorry #(also the only thing I'm thinking of when typing out mafia is freaking Jooheon's 'I.M MA-FI-A and it's making me giggle) #I wrote this months ago but after working on it some more yesterday I think it's finally ready to be posted #NOW if only I could finish that hybrid jimin fic I've been working on for a bit #or the namjoon werewolf one... #Please tell me I did a good job or I will cry #froggy writes #fanfic #froggy creates

[nicotinemaiden]

My mistake

And if I knew the words that you sold me Covered up the truth you've been holding I would learn to let you go Before we travelled down this road Now all I have is ignorance to blame But I guess that was my mistake

[Nico Collins]

Read on AO3 →

The first time was a mistake.

At least that was what she kept telling herself the morning after when the influence of the alcohol had disappeared completely from her body and all the memories of the night before returned to her. They were still a bit hazy, clearing slowly with every passing second.

To her side the bare back of a well-known friend rested against her, the shadows the waking sun projected over it emphasizing his muscles and the scars that were there before she could do anything for them. She found the urge of touching them - again, her mind reminded her - and buried it inside, far away from her current thoughts.

Her breath was nowhere to be found, lost someplace between her naked body and the lips of the man beside her. Her heart raced to a pace she wondered if it was healthful, if it wasn't the first time it had done that. Turns out, it definitely wasn't. Last night was just her most recent example but… she remembered this sensation from almost every time Obi was closer than usual. Her heart trying to escape, she told Yuzuri once. To be with whom it really belonged, she answered, a knowingly smile on her lips. She didn't understand it then and now, even having a subtle idea of what was her friend referring to, was definitely not the time to be thinking about it. She had enough on her hands for the moment.

Her hands, unbuttoning his shirt with the care she would put mending his wounds. Her hands, entangling themselves on his hair as if it was the rope from which her life hanged. Her hands, wandering to places of his body that were forbidden for most people, caressing them and stroking them and - 

She forced herself to the present, trying her best to calm the excessive beating of her heart and failing miserably. The weight of what she had done, what they’d done, hit her hard, a lot harder than she expected. The guilt crawled up her throat so forcefully she had to fight in order to stop herself from throwing up. 

"Miss, you're drunk."

His voice was low in her ears, his lips almost touching hers. She just wanted to shut him up and feel the burning of his kisses again, the way his hand gripped her right tight, lifting up her dress, distracting her from what he was saying. It wasn't a question, she processed later, but she had already answered.

"Yes."

She went to kiss him again but he retreated just a bit, enough to be out of her reach.

"I'm drunk."

That wasn't a question either, but she answered anyway.

"Yes."

She looked at his eyes and then she understood. He thought this was only the alcohol talking, not herself. He thought she was just in a… playful mood. But that was far, oh so far, from the truth. She'd wanted him for so long she didn't even remember when was the first time her thoughts wandered to him in that particular manner.

But she wasn't just thinking about sex. She was attracted to him, that much she knew - and if she was having any doubts the first of their kisses melted them all away - but it was something more. It wasn't love, she loved Zen, she knew how that felt… did she not? Zen. She hadn't… She hadn't remembered him until now and… she didn't want to remember him. Not here, not now, not being with Obi. He was consuming her entire world and… she was honest when she told herself she wouldn't want to be anywhere else, nor with anyone else. So she added, clarifying her thoughts to him in a small sentence.

"And that doesn't make me want you any less."

She forced herself up with one arm, kissing him slowly, lovingly, the way a wife would kiss her husband, clearly not a lover's kiss. And he smiled against her lips, warming her heart even more.

Her head ached as if she had just been banging it against the wall all night long. She brought her hand to her temple, wanting the cool of it to help whatever little it could. She needed to get out of this room - their room, she remembered herself, leaving little places in this unknown palace to run off to.

She was going to kill Hisame. This was all his fault, his and his stupid ideas. Fake dating, yes, of course, they could do that, it seemed simple enough.

Until it wasn't.

It was hard enough sharing a room with him - He insisted on sleeping on the floor most of the nights unless she practically forced him onto the bed, afraid all she would find of her knight the next morning was an ice cube - but the subtle touches, the long stares, his proximity when he slid his arm down her waist, bringing her to him, so close she thought she would kiss him if he wasn't so quick to flee her side once the show was over.

That's all it was: A show. A show for the people of this cold place, an entertainment for Hisame and torture for herself. She asked her knight once his thoughts about their new situation and he just dismissed the question with a flirtatious response and a smile. It was so Obi she just left it there, thinking he wasn't against the idea. She wondered what he would say now that their relationship was a lot less fake than they anticipated.

She was still clinging to his neck, her hands completely still, too afraid to make a sudden movement lest he decided it was time to do rounds or to eat something, or to go to the bathroom. It wasn't the first time they've been in this situation, their hug loose enough for them to look each other in the eyes, forgetting what drove them to be this way in the first place. She spoke softly, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Tell me, Obi, what would you do if I…" She trailed off, seeing his confused look, and decided it was best to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. She'll have to thank the alcohol later because without it she would never have had the courage to do it.

She lifted herself up her toes and brought her lips to his. It was just a soft kiss, so short she believed she imagined it, but she could still feel the softness of his lips so she kept her eyes closed for a moment. How something so little, so innocent, could awaken so much in her was beyond her comprehension. She felt flashes of lightning all through her body, from top to bottom, making it difficult to feel bad about it. She just… kissed him. Without asking if he wanted it as bad as her.

She opened her eyes ashamed, thinking she would find rejection in the ones that mirrored her own. Expecting to hear a soft joke and a laugh, maybe some excuse as to why he suddenly needed to be out of there. But he was looking at her with such intensity, such lust, his golden eyes a shade darker, a mixture of emotions under the obvious ones that she couldn't really place.

She stared back, realizing she felt like a prey under his gaze, as if she had just awoken a beast. But she wasn't intimidated by it… On the contrary, all of her was screaming to let herself be eaten. And that… that she could do.

Shirayuki wasn't sure who moved first, it didn't really matter. In a moment her fingers were playing with his hair - meddling with it, uninvited but not unwelcome - while her lips opened to him, letting his experience guide her. His hands were her anchor, the pressure of them - one on her waist and the other in the lower part of her back - the only thing keeping her from flying. She was a woman of science, she knew she would most likely fall instead of fly if he released her, but she felt so light. If only she didn't feel like she was burning and he was the cool water and the raging fire at the same time.

She could feel her legs shaking under the mattress. She had heard her knight before, talking about how he knew how to light a candle in women. She never doubted it, she felt it herself more than once, but this… She was screwed because what she was feeling wasn't a candle, oh no, it was an entire forest set ablaze. A fire so tall, so wide, so hot she lost herself burning on it and, now, hours later, all that remained of her were ashes.

She forced herself up, still shocked at the lack of clothes on her body, and moved to the closet as silently as she could. She needed him to stay asleep, she wasn't ready to talk to him. Or to look at him. Or… anything, really. She just needed a bath, a walk through the gardens, maybe even shut herself in the library. He would find her, he always did, but later was better in this situation.

She tripped over her dress, the one she was wearing last night, and picked it up carefully, ready to leave it on one of the chairs until the maid came to pick it up for laundry. The soft green and black fabric practically slid through her arms before she could put it down.

Her dress was loose and it fell subtly over her breasts. He took his time lowering it, planting kisses on her neck and shoulders, biting them before reclaiming her mouth to his. She got lost on his kisses until she noticed the cold air on her chest and she breathed, waiting for his reaction. He was the first man to see her like this and she wouldn’t have wanted anyone else, not with the look he was giving her. 

Under his eyes, she felt made for him, as if she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, as if he never could look at someone the way he was looking at her. As if she was his woman. 

She got up, missing immediately his touch, and undressed completely, letting her dress fall on the floor. The only thing left on her was her green underwear. She didn’t miss the look on the golden eyes before her while she lowered her dress. She felt she could do anything in the world and that’s why she did it. She was embarrassed, yes, but those feelings disappeared completely every time he looked at her, leaving only the colour of her cheeks. 

He got up after her, one step after the other, so slowly she was about to jump at him. One of his arms hugged her waist, making her react in time to hug his neck. After a moment she felt her hair fall free on her shoulders - sometimes she almost forgot how long it was again.

As if she was a work of art in a museum he studied her, smiling, for almost a minute. Then he resumed his pace from before, kissing her shoulders, her neck, her chest…

The bath was cold, left there from the night before when neither of them found it necessary. Now she was really grateful for the sudden change of temperature even if her body was against it. It started trembling and she wasn't sure if it was because of the bath until she felt her eyes sting and her cheeks soaking. She hugged her knees with her arms and buried her face there, unable to stop her crying. She knew why… or so she thought. All the things she fought for, all the friends waiting for her… she just destroyed them all. Last night everything was crystal clear to her. It still was. But… it should have been different. She should have talked to Zen before, she should have told him that she won't be waiting for him anymore, that she simply… didn't feel the same. She hasn't since a lot of time ago. It would have been easier than going to him and saying 'Hey I slept with Obi and I realized I've been in love with him for a long time. I hope we can still be friends?'. She cried louder, hitting herself in the process. She just realized the truth of her words.

She loved him. She loved him so much she gifted herself to him without thinking about the consequences, about the damage she would do to the rest of the people in her life, including him. They… they could tear him apart from her. They could exile him from Clarines, from Lyrias. Relieve him from his duties with the kingdom. Would he leave then? Would he leave her alone, denied of her friends, of the man she truly loved? Or would he be willing to take her with him? Did he even felt the same? She didn't ask. She didn't… she didn't even tell him. Not once. She didn't even know until now, until all the pieces clicked on her head. She sniffled again. It had been a mistake.

And with that, she realized, she lied to him too.

She moved to kiss him again but he moved quicker, keeping her away. For a moment she was hurt but the look in his eyes only told her that he was not done talking.

“Shirayuki, listen to me. You may be able to live knowing you made this mistake here with me but I won’t.”

He spoke lightly, softly, like hearing a caress. The first time she heard her name from his voice and it was… beautiful. She never thought she would like her name more than coming from his lips. She needed to hear it again, every day, every hour, every minute even if it was whispered like that. She couldn't help but be quiet, waiting. Then he smiled, cupping her face with one hand and kissing her the same way his words had spoken to her. She got the feeling there were too many things she wouldn't get to hear tonight, not in words at least.

“I don’t want this to be a mistake. I don’t want us to be a mistake.”

The warm that invaded her felt odd. It wasn’t a normal warmth, it was sad, hurtful. How could he be a mistake for her? He was precious, the most precious person she had. He was always by her side, understanding her without words, making her laugh, giving her time when she needed it and lending an ear to her when she had too much going on in her mind. She could be anywhere, go anywhere, if he was with her. He allowed her to be, without masks, without politics, without a false respect.

Her heart pressed on her chest, drowning her. She felt guilty for making him think like that yet she forgot the reason behind his words. Why would this be a mistake? She didn’t know nor wanted to. It was right, it felt right. She forgot to think past that.

“Obi. This will never be a mistake. You will never be a mistake. Ever. Whatever happens tonight or the rest of my life.”

Everything hurt. From her body to her brain, but most of all, her heart. She needed to tell him. She needed him to know that, even if at this moment everything else felt wrong the only thing that didn't was him. And the night she spent with him. The years she spent with him. She would find a solution, with or without him, and she would accept his answer, even if that meant he would go again, feeling his freedom crushed by her feelings. She would accept it. But she needed him to know. Yes, it had been a mistake but not because she didn't want it, not because she didn't want him, needed him, but because she felt guilty for hurting Zen and the people who fought for them. It was simply a matter of timing.

She put on a towel after washing her face, a smile creeping on her mouth. He always understood her, she knew this time would be the same. She was lucky, so lucky to have fallen in love with him. Suddenly she needed him to know, as soon as possible.

Barefoot and with only the towel to cover her she ran to the door, opening it with more strength than was necessary, still smiling.

Her smile faltered quickly, disappearing almost immediately after finding the room empty, the bloodied sheets they left on the floor - the only proof she had that any of this had been real - nowhere to be found.

She let herself fall to the floor, her knees suddenly touching the carpet, startling her. Of course... How would she feel if she had awakened to hear Obi crying in the bathroom after what they'd done? She was so, so utterly stupid she wanted to cry again.

This was her punishment, she was sure of it. Whatever force of nature or destiny or any shit like that that was messing with her. She was tired. Tired of thinking, of crying, and of realizing things too little too late.

She wanted to go find him, to explain all that her mind explained to her minutes ago, but she knew she couldn't. Not if he didn't want to be found.

So Shirayuki crawled into the bed again, hugging the pillow that had belonged to her best friend, and hoped that the fact that she returned to sleep with her hair soaking would hide her tears.

#i hope you like it! #italic are memories in case anyone is confused #thank you for reading!!<3 #mistakeseries1 #infinitesongsforhersmile #mistakeseries #fanfic #obiyuki #ans #Akagami no Shirayukihime #Obi x Shirayuki #mywork

[yaypinecones]

Here are fan made fetch moduses. They’re not mine but it gave ideas what they would look like and write my own descriptions. Feel free to use them as you wish :)

Camera Modus: It can take pictures on one focused object to 35-50 cm away on the fetch modus card camera (top right). After taking a picture, it would create a clone of the object on your captchalogue inventory. It can be a great practice to take pictures, just don’t take pictures of yourself.

Settings:

Instagram mode- It doesn’t really do anything special except put any radon filter in your fetch modus over what it displays. It’s dumb, but hey it gives you a ton of likes. likes actually don’t exist in your modus or an app for it.

Snapchat mode- I’m not sure why you would need filters to captchlogue an item. If you use this one, I definitely recommend the dog or flower crown filter.

VSCO mode- It’s more about the aesthetics to be honest. Not for those who dresses up in long over sized shirts with a bunch of poofy hair ties and purposely drop their water bottles to make weird noises

Limit: can take 10 film inventories, more than that can eject the last inventory. The object you want to captchalogue has to be on the cameras focuse or else the picture would look blurry and would not clone the item.

Book Modus: A simple modus that comes with a actual book. When you captchlogue an item, it would gives you their description and their captch code. It would also receive a page inside the book as it could give more its abilities, uses, history, common location, and combinations with other items. Pretty useful and it’s possible to captchalogue the book itself. You don’t wanna carry it around all day.

Settings:

Academic mode- Yup all that math, science, language arts, health, and history you’ve read for school is coming back to you. What sucks is these books are the books you’ve read before when you were younger...so they’re probably out dated. Which sucks.

Encyclopedia mode- AKA Wikipedia, Dictionary, or Thesaurus if you want to call that. Basically find what word you want and look through the entire book to find what it means or what’s similar to it. I doubt you want find the amounted of pages it has because it never ends. Sometimes too much words can lead you the short end of the stick or just completely lost.

Journal mode- A thought of someone their own writing to collect their ideas and observations. You can make your own journal if you want. Like writing down what your doing or your grocery list. Actually just write what it feels like to you.

Magazine mode- Now we’re on the good stuff. Good stuff as in gossip and trends. What? At least there’s something to entertain yourself than looking through those stressful words every single to time. You just need to relax and read the latest celebrity gossip. OooOo.

Newspaper mode- Wait how can there be a newspaper in a book? Well at it lets you know what happening daily in other places or locally. Contains huge headlines, unnecessary words, really big photos, and a lot of advertisements.

Limit: There’s no storage limit on this fetch modus but it’s recommended to have 12 items. Unless if you want to have a bunch of words thrown into you to the point it becomes a encyclopedia. Also item eject? What’s that? Uh oh.

Money Modus: This lets you store any item but you have to access the item by inserting a specific amount of money. It is very different in every item. Isn’t it a mix of an ATMs and a shop? I don’t know, but at least they are in a reasonable price. This is not meant for cheap scapes. Sometimes the capchalogue item is has the similar price to real life price list. [Ex. A real life a fridge cost $1,000-2,000]

Settings:

Currency change mode- Your not sure why people need a specific currency. This setting is so stupid, it makes you wonder who needs this?

Bank mode- Yes you heard it right, you can store money in this fetch modus. It’s great for people that has no where else to store their money. This can be your own personal piggy bank.

Limit: This has unlimited storage. The bigger and expensive the item, the more expensive the price you need to access the item. The more you store items, you need to spend a lot of your money. No, you cannot argue the card to lower the price ya silly goose.

Mask Modus: A modus where you wear many persona’s. The mask are in variety in colors that represents a certain character. You can also type a certain personality on your own personas. To capchalogue an item, you have to match a certain persona that matches or similar to the item.

Limit: The maximum storage contains 16 items. Over 16 items would refuse the recent item unless you remove an item or combine one of them. If successful, the item would be capchalogue and freely gain access with wearing a mask. If your didn’t match a right mask or was unsuccessful, the modus card would eject the last item you capchalogued at you.

Binary Modus: You can summon any item by converting the letters into binary coding. This modus must be navigated manually and you can also search for item numbered too.

[Ex. 01001001 01000011 01010101 01010000] Wait a second...Eww man.

Limit: Unlimited storage unit and when summoning an item, it has to be a real thing. Sorry but no bear-cat-rabbit-elephant thing or completely made up words  would appear. Especially, you can’t summon huge items like a building or the sun. That can just break your modus. Please limit yourself there buddy.

Dominoes Modus: No, sadly you can’t order pizza. When you capchalogue an item, many dominoes from the card spill out and you have to assemble each and every domino to the other.

Limit: there are 6 inventories you can capchalogue. Nothing more, nothing less. More than 6 would eject the last item.

Dartboard Modus: You can freely capchalogue an item, but retrieving an item can summon a dartboard. You need to throw a dart at one of the rings or bullseyes. The less important items are on the large farther rings and the more important ones art in the smaller rings and bullseyes,

Limit: you can store 82 items. Now that’s a lot but you need to have good aim. Hitting the center of the bullseye can randomly give you an important item for the future.

Prey Modus: When an item is capchalogued, it would spawn a small animal. These animals would depend on what the item is. if the user wants to get the get the item back, they will have to fight and kill whatever creature the item has been allocated to. once the creature is dead, the item appears

[Ex. a computer mouse would spawn a weak mouse (ayy)]

Limit: You can only store 8 slots and over more than 8 can have an animal come out depending on the item. Hopefully you don’t eject any important items. Anything important would release an animal that is not a prey or maybe a replica of the first guardian.

Shuffle Modus: Every time you capchalogue an item, it changes every second with other items you also capchalogued. It can be lucky or unlucky depending how your going to draw this.

Limit: It can hold as much as any items. The more you add items, the more frustrating it gets to retrieve the item you want.

Backpack Modus: This modus can store items by the cards weight which is also a backpack. You can simply open the backpack to retrieve and item. You can capchalogued the backpack itself, but I don’t think your fetch modus can handle the weight you put into there.

Limit: Feel free to store the amount of junk you can carry as it can weigh you down. It acts like a normal backpack. What else should I say?

“Stack” Modus: Haha no, it’s a Massive Ejection Modus you fool. It may look like a normal stack modus but can intensity eject massive amounts of items at once that are multiplied by 100. Once you want to retrieve it, 99 copies eject violently from the captchacard and explode out of your card. Its mostly going to destroy mostly anything and injuring anyone near you.

Limit: Basically you only have one slot inventory and that’s sad. Is this modus even legal!?!? Ejecting 99 items at someone can be potentially be a strife specibus. Just saying.

Wardrobe Modus: This modus can capchalogued any articles of clothing. Attempting to captchalouge something other than clothing will result in said item being sent somewhere you can no longer receive. This is pretty useless like the other mentioned modus we talked about.

Settings:

Hat mode- A place where your hats can live in harmony with other simpleton hats.

Earrings mode- Fancy, expensive, or cheap earrings can come join.

Glasses mode- Look at you nerd. Or cool kid. Whatever you are.

Shirt mode- Look, there are many things you can put on there. The most likely to be over flowed.

Pants mode- Or skirts, shorts, or anything that goes on your legs

Socks mode- A hell place where all sinful gross smelly socks and clean socks go.

Shoes mode- Just don’t put those dirty shoes on the wood. Keep them clean and dry.

Limit: you have unlimited storage and only meant for clothes. This is perfect for people that don’t know where else to put their seasonal clothes to. Summer, fall, winter, spring, you name it.

#homestuck #hiveswap #fanadventure #fetch modus #capchalogue #fantroll #roleplay #theyre not mine #ideas