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dulcewrites · 1 year

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Paparazzi

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x groupie!reader (modern rockband au)

Summary: Loving Aemond is cherry pie

Warning: unhealthy power dynamics, some manipulation of both parts

A/N: HAPPY V DAY YALL. I wanted to post something sort as a surprise and gift to all the nice people who have supported me. I love all the cool art and edits I see of the Targaryen/Hightower kids being in a band. It suits them so well. So in this Aegon is a drummer, daeron is a guitar player, Aemond is a bass player, and Helaena is our leading lady on vocals. I also like the idea of momager Alicent. This is of course inspired by the incredible song by lady gaga. Sorry if there are typos. I just wanted to get something out for y’all 🫶🏽

Blog masterlist

Leather and jeans

Garage glamorous

Not sure what it means

Aemond was always deeply conscious of his surroundings and life; almost painfully so. Alicent jokes that he came out with the weight of the world on his shoulders. It has only gotten worse as time has gone on.

There was syrupy guilt that sat deep in the pit of his stomach about it. He lives a good life all things considered, a very good life. He had money, his health, and a job that revolved around him art and his family. His head should be clearer than ever. Aemond fears his knack to overthink and over process will never leave. A thought enter his head, often a morbid one, and it stays there till the next rotates in. Or until he is distracted enough to forget.

Alys sends him a simple text when they land in New York.

I can’t do this. I’m sorry

He had stared at the text for a few minutes. Even went as far as turning his phone off and turn it back on, deluding himself into thinking it would magically unsend the message. He had asked her to move in before they left for the American leg of the tour. Admittedly, he had seen the apprehension in her eyes, but that was to be expected. Alys was older, and lived a quiet life. Aemond’s life was anything but quiet. It was as brash as the music his band made, but it never seemed like an obstacle for them.

He never prepared himself for this. And maybe that was the problem…. He always prepared for the worst. So, now he must pick himself up and move on. All that writing about heartbreak should come in handy.

“Marty, please tell me you have that Chateau d'Yquem I like,” a warm timber breaks Aemond out of staring at the deep, rich wood of the bar. A strong whiff of sweet perfume engulfs him as someone sits next to him.

Cartier watch, YSL bag, leather trench coat that would have Daeron, vegan and proud, furrowing his brows. Aemond didn’t realize he was staring till a perfectly arched brow was raised at him. He swallows embarrassed.

“I would have recommended something stronger,” she gestures to the beer in his hand. It comes out more like a soft purr than anything.

Her attention goes back to the bartender. Aemond does not think himself a nosy man, but he can’t help but perk up at the sound of a girly voice. Like an invisible tug is making his ears spring up. He makes out certain words. Dad, NYU, and hopelessly bored.

“I like your ring,” the voice permeates through him again. He blinks surprised, hoping he wasn’t making his snooping obvious.

He looks down at the ring on his finger. Valyrian steel ring with Fire and Blood engraved on it, the name of the group. His siblings have matching ones. All he can give is a appreciative smile, not trusting his voice at the moment.

Aegon’s voice booms through his head. Rich girls are the best to fuck, trust me. The statement received a slap in the back in the head from Helaena.

“I like your shoes,” he says eventually. They are strappy, and look entirely too hard to walk in but he’s always liked the way heels made a pair of legs look. “And your eyes.”

He fights back a grimace after saying it. Flirting is not his thing. Nonetheless, he gets a lovely smile in return; one that makes him forget why he was even upset. The kind of smile where someone’s eyes brighten and glimmer.

The conversation starts light, and eventually dissolves into soft whispers as the drink changes from wine and beer to something stronger. A hand becomes permanently situated on his thigh, soft squeezes pulsing through when his lips brush close to her ear.

Aemond doesn’t remember how they ended up in the elevator. He does remember latching lips latching to his, and pulling her into his room. The deep awareness returned for a moment. Is this too soon? Is this the way to get over someone? But he doesn’t stop; it was nice to be wanted so desperately like that.

He woke up to an empty room. Sheets askew and a note being recollections of the previous night’s actions. Under the note was a black lacy thong.

To remember me by

I'll be your girl backstage at your show

Velvet ropes and guitars

Yeah, 'cause you're my rock star in between the sets

He doesn’t see her again till months later. They are finishing their American leg of the tour in Los Angeles. The tour had went off without a hitch. Their mother tells them to celebrate, but not too hard. Wheels up tomorrow afternoon.

They all break open a bottle of champagne in Helaena’s dressing room, even letting Daeron have some. Eventually, Aemond excuses himself to his dressing room. While changing, he gets a knock on the door. Criston pokes his head through saying there was girl here for him. Aemond’s heart starts to thud. He had sent Alys tickets to multiple stops in hopes she would eventually want to talk this out in person. Instead, a pair of legs covered by thigh high boots walks in. Paired with daisy dukes, and red lace covered by a white linen shirt that looks all too familiar.

He doesn’t know what to say, or what to ask. More so how to ask them. The questions are clear in his head. How did she get in? How did she get back here? She knew? The band never came up that night.

Never fuck fans.

Another one of Aegon’s suggestions. He said it said it as if he knew from experience.

There was a casual nonchalance in the way she came in. Smile coy, and flowers in hand. Panic does him no good, not in a situation like this. So, he smiles and accepts the kiss on the cheek. The flowers are blood red roses and match her stained red lips. She gushes about how well the band played. About how good he looked, and how talented he is.

Harmless, he thinks. She’s sweet and harmless. Sleeping her maybe was not a good decision, but she fawns over him in a way that takes the edge off. Like a hit of a blunt or a shot of top shelf liquor. Sincere in a way he’s not used to. He selfishly sits and soaks it in. He makes half-hazards attempts to stop everything when she kisses him, and when her hand ends up in his pants. He cums feeling with guilty and pleasure mixing in his stomach.

Aegon eventually comes by. A sly smile comes on face when he sees Aemond’s companion. He nudges Aemond whispering to him it’s good he has gotten over Alys… Alys. Alys. Alys.

The name pangs around his head in a volatile way. He invites her to the late dinner the crew goes to. She’s tucked under his arm, and giggles with Helaena over drinks.

The impulses only get worse when he takes her back to the hotel. Things are just as good as that first night. She taste just as sweet, and scratches the same itch left by heartache. Perhaps her being around isn’t so bad. At least, it is what he thought in the moment

Caught up in the heat of it all, he didn’t even notice the white shirt he took off of her was his.

I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me

Papa-paparazzi

Baby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be

Your papa-paparazzi

Promise I'll be kind

But I won't stop until that boy is mine

You love hard. At least that is what your mother told you. Your love is intense and warm, but who wouldn’t want that? To be loved so deeply and wholly. She tells you to be careful, that not everyone will read your love as the gift it is. Not everyone deserves it, and not everyone is receptive.

Your father didn’t. Your exes of yours didn’t, but that was all ok. Because it was all leading up to meeting Aemond.

Your darling Aemond.

His presences in your life blurs the hard edges, and makes things syrupy in the best way. He love you. You know it.

It’s why you have to steer him in the right direction. Not everyone has the best intentions the way you do. Including his ex.

“I just don’t understand why you have to go,” you mumble watching him pick through suits. His eye flicks to you then back to the suits.

“Her dad and brother died in an accident,” he sighs softly. “I met them before, and she asked me to be there for the funeral.”

All you do is hum before a thought pops into your head. “Maybe I can go too.”

Aemond gives you incredulous look then lets out a bark of laughter.

“Baby, I don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s a funeral, not a party. I can’t just bring a plus one.”

An anxious feeling crawls up your throat. You try to repeat the words in your head. Her family died, her family died. No reason to be jealous or upset, he just wants to be sweet; one of Aemond’s best traits was his kind heart. Underneath that hard exterior is someone soft… and moldable.

Aemond tends to believe the best in everyone. Who’s to say that he won’t get there and she won’t bat her eyelashes to get him to completely fold.

An idea swirls into your head suddenly.

“Yeah, you’re right.” you go behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burring your face in his back. Taking in the smell of soft linen and woodsy cologne. You had become so use to his scent. You can’t let it go now.

“How about I send her flowers? Something nice for when she gets back.”

He turns around in your arms, giving you a quizzical look before smiling softly.

“I think she would love that,” he kisses you on the forehead before going back to looking for something. “Have you seen my cuff links?”

You go into the bedroom, flopping down on the bed.

“Maybe check in the bathroom.”

You scroll through your phone looking for a certain contact. Tyland Lannister (P.I) finally comes up.

“Hey, can you send me her address so I can make sure the flowers get to her,” you call back.

The ease in which he calls out our her address makes you pause. An annoyed feeling only compounds when he tells you to send over a bouquet filled with carnations, daffodils, and forget me nots… her favorite flowers. The hesitancy you had swims away instantly.

I think I have a job for you

After you hit send, you lay on your back staring at the mirror on the ceiling.

Your love is intense and warm, and all Aemond’s.

#is she slightly unhinged? yes… should Aemond be with one of his fans he knows worships him? no #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x fem!reader #aemond fanfiction #prince aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond x you #aemond targaryen angst #aemond targaryen imagine #modern hotd au #modern hotd

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swimmingismywholelife · 8 months

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Tagged by @lovelynikol16 this get to know you tag game. Yall already know I love a good day so let's go baby tagging @nyctophilic0vitnir and @shadowscorch

Name: Janelle

Sign: Cancer ♋️

Time: 13:01

Favorite Band or Artist: Overall it's Mayday Parade but 5 Seconds of Summer and Seventeen always have my heart

Last Movie: Black Box (HIGHLY recommend it was so good)

Last Show: Phineas and Ferb lmao

When I Created This Blog: I think like October 2014 as a One Direction stan account lmao and it's just been downhill ever since

Other Blogs: I have a few others that I won't reveal for privacy reasons

Do I Get Asks: Eh not really. Every once in a while but for me it's not too common. But feel free if you ever wanna send one!

Followers: 245

Average Hours of Sleep: YIKES I think on average I get 6-8 but it's never consecutive

Instruments: Certified band nerd so I've played flute for 15 years now I think. I'm also gonna start learning piano which I'm real excited for

What Am I Wearing: clothes LMAO. Nah for real though a corset like crop top, black skirt, my Adidas shoes (please sponsor me Adidas thanks) and a leather jacket

Dream Job: good fucking question I'm really glad you asked

Dream Trip: Barcelona (for obvious reasons if you've seen my posts lmfao) but Spain in general, Australia, and Italy

Favorite Song ATM: hmmmm maybe Pandora by Mave? Or 24/7 365 by Elijah Woods? Or Ghost by Justin Bieber? Those are my most replayed songs rn so maybe one of those

#swimmingismywholelife

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armando-triplepapito · 8 months

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Did someone ask for song recommendations for ysblf? 👀

I love this question. The ones I can think of right now are the following:

1. Te dejo en libertad by Ha*Ash. This one reminds me so much of Marcela, the lyrics are heartbreaking and self explanatory as to why I think of her.

2. Mientes tan bien by Sin Bandera. This one would be for Betty after she reads the letter. There were times were she was really conflicted because even though she thought he was using her, the things he said and did seemed really genuine so this song could apply for her confusion.

3. Por Amarte Así by Cristian Castro. This one would for Armando especially after Betty returns from Cartagena.

4. La Incondicional by Luis Miguel. This one would be a song Armando would for sure dedicate to Betty. It reminds me of how unconditional Betty was with him ever since the beginning. She didn’t expect anything in return and was happy loving him in secret that’s why, in part, the scheme was so painful.

5. No me quiero enamorar by Kalimba. This one reminds me of Armando when he started the affair with Betty. While he did admit he wanted to fall in love before (despite getting increasingly doubtful it was ever gonna happen), he wasn’t expecting to fall in love with Betty at all. He felt miserable for deceiving her in this way, couldn’t even imagine going further than kissing for this very same reason. And I think that once they crossed that line, he could tell how much both encounters affected him and fought back hard against his feelings, looked for so many excuses to avoid coming to terms with them. But ended up having to admit it in the end. Even Mario tells him he fell in love with the wrong person 💔

This got so long, my apologies but I just love ysblf so much and get excited whenever I find someone to talk about it. Thank you and have a lovely day.

First of all, I just wanted you to know that I love love love you!!!! I'm always so happy to receive song recommendations and please never apologize for sending a long message it actually makes me happy especially when you're sharing your thoughts☺️

Second of all, I wanted you to know that you're the reason why I even started a ysblf playlist! While trying to answer this message I started a google docs to make a list of all the songs I want to talk about but that list quickly became too long, it was two pages long!!

So here's 20 songs that remind me of Marcela, Armando, and Betty!!

Ahora Decide - Pimpinela: I feel like this song kinda represents Marcela and Armando's relationship. Armando being used to their routine "Lo único que sé es que dejarte no puedo, Me acostumbre a esta vida, a esta clase de amor, Y cuando pienso en cambiar, de verdad tengo miedo" and Marcela just being pushy, pressuring Armando to leave or to stay(and yall know she really doesn't mean that).

Tu Falta de Querer - Mon Laferte: I would like to think Marcela would listen to this song after her breakup with Armando but mainly because of this one sentence -_- "Y dime porque, Cómo fue que me dejaste de amar? Yo aún podía soportar Tu tanta falta de querer". Idk, even if Armando and Marcela got married and if Armando continued with his hook ups I feel like Marcela would NEVER let him go. I feel like that's how she views love. Forgiving the unforgivable.

No Me Ensenaste - Thalia: Another song Marcela would listen to after her breakup with Armando. I think this song really represents Marcela! She just doesn't want to let go!

Laura No Esta - Nek: Armando would definitely listen to this song after Betty left! Just replace Laura with Betty and there you go it fits! lol! "Contigo olvidare su ausencia" "quedate y llename su espacio" These two lyrics always remind me of when Armando to stayed over at Marcela's apartment after the bar fight and rekindled their relationship.

La Despedida - Daddy Yankee: Definitely Armando's song especially during the bar fight. "Y tu recuerdo, me esta matando Hasta la muerte aqui estare esperando Nunca lo olvides, te sigo amando" AHh love this!! Actually I got this song from an edit lol!!

Dejaria Todo - Chayanne: There's no denying this is Armando's song! "Lo dejaria todo porque te quedaras Mi credo, mi pasado, mi religion Despues de todo, estás rompiendo nuestros lazos Y dejas en pedazos a este corazón" this part specifically reminds me of when Betty throws out the bag with the cards and gifts 😭

Todas Mueren por Mi - Cartel de Santa: Armando during his asshole era lol!! " Soy tu vida, soy tu muerte y vivo para cogerte Tengo frio el corazon, pero la verga caliente" It cracks me up cause it's true!!

Dos mujeres un Camino - Laura Leon: Betty and Marcela's song!! Tho I'll have to give it to Marcela only because of one line "Mi sueño se terminó Cuando ella apareció"

Perdoname - La Factoria, Eddy Lover: Armando and Marcela's song!! "Cuando estamos en la camita, baby, we are burning" sex is the only reason why Armando continues with the relationship (let’s not include external factors) and Marcela always forgiving him 😮‍💨. Plus this song is funny lol

Loca - Shakira ft El Cata: Betty would dedicate this song to Marcela lol. "El esta por mi y por ti borró Y eso que tu tienes to', y yo ni un kiki". Cracks me up!! I make up fics with this song lol!!

TQG - Karol G and Shakira: Betty when she returns to Ecomoda after her glow up!! Line after line this song just fits!! "Si sabes que yo errores no repito?" not wanting to get back together with Armando. "Dile a tu nueva bebé Que por hombres no compito" when Marcela kisses Armando in front of Betty!! Like girl stop! You're embarrassing yourself! Betty don't care!! "Si ella supiera que me busca' todavía" now that's cold!! I can go on and on for each line, this song was simply made for Betty!

Un Hombre Normal - Espinoza Paz: Betty when she leaves Ecomoda. "Nunca fui tu prioridad, ni tu centro de atención Y tengo que asimilar, que si ya no estoy dentro de tu corazón" I like to think that after reading The Carta Betty revisited bad memories like how Armando left her all night at the office. Probably beating herself up for believing someone like him (someone who literally forgets about her existence) to magically express romantic feelings for her 😭. I always cry to this song!

Por Que Sera - Rudy La Scala: Betty and Armando's song!! You know their romance was more passionate because it was essentially prohibited lol!!!!!🤭

Soy Rebelde - Jeanette: Another song made for Betty. All she ever wanted was to be loved and to be happy. I think her way of being rebellious is by being with Armando. Ik she's with him because she loves him but at the end of the day she is going against what her parents had taught her.

Como tu Mujer - Rocio Durcal: Betty when she accepts the fact that she can't be with Armando so she decides to leave thinking it'll make Armando happy.

Con Los Ojos Cerrados - Gloria Trevi: Betty always knew that Armando was a liar and they had no future together (confirming this on their 2nd night). Knowing these facts she would blind herself to continue with a fantasy TT^TT

Te He Querido Te He Llorado - Ivy Queen: I always think about this song when Betty execute her revenge. "Y ahora vas entender Cuando me veas con el" when she parades around with Nicolas. "Si en mis manos tuviera un puñal, lo usaria Y la vida yo te quitaria Por dejarme tan sola y vacía" when she overhears Armando and Mario's conversation of sending her to another country. She did have a "puñal" which was the real balance for the junta directiva and she used it to essentially "kill" Armando.

De Contrabando - Jenni Rivera: This is such a funny song but this is how Betty behaved with Armando! She was willing to see each other sparsely, left no evidence of her involvement with him (tho there was that one time with the poem), never asked for explanation from Armando, she was just happy with him looking her way!! It just fits lol!!

Con la Misma Piedra - Grupo Límite: The signs were there! Anyone could've guessed that Armando started a relationship with Betty for cruel reasons, to conserve his company. The signs were right in front of her yet she fell into his trap just like how she fell into Roman and Miguel's trap! She also knew she was playing with fire so girl why?? Why do this to yourself?!

Viveme - Laura Pausini: "Víveme sin más vergüenza Aunque esté todo el mundo en contra Deja la apariencia y toma el sentido Y siente lo que llevo dentro" i just LOVE this part of the song. Even tho Betty knew their relationship should never come to light deep down she did want everyone to know or at least wanted Armando not feel embarrassed of her and be able to love freely. It's a shame they weren't able to continue their relationship before Betty had her glow up and it's an even greater shame there's little to no fanfics of them. That's what sad about wattpad fanfic, everyone wants to speed up Betty's glow up😞

Sorry for the long post! But you know what they say quadruple it and give it to the next person lol! I know most of these are already known to be related to their specific ysblf characters but I still wanted to recommend them and I know some might not make sense but all you need to do is squint a little!!😭

Anyways thanks for the recommendations I seriously loved them! I already added them to my ysblf playlist and if you ever have more recommendations feel free to send them my way!

Much love❤️❤️❤️

#I've never been good with expressing myself so hopefully I make sense #I just want you to know that I will forever think about you!!#thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about songs and how the relate to ysblf characters #my fav subject #also sorry for taking so long to reply!#ysblf #betty la fea #yo soy betty la fea #armando mendoza #marcela valencia #beatriz pinzón solano #betty x armando #song recommendations

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theoldtaylors · 1 year

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hiiiiiii it's me!!!!!!!!! please recommend:

Someone who would be great with *assisting* Tree Paine as Taylor’s publicist (let’s be real no one can be Tree Paine so you just get to help)

Someone who knows Taylor’s lyrics better than she does

Someone who is actually a real-life superhero (costume and everything.. but NO CAPES!!)

Someone who inspires you to be a better person

Someone who would be Jack Antonoff’s BFF

Someone you wish lived closer

Someone that you would follow, wherever they stray

Someone who would be Aaron Dessner’s BFF

hey blog rec anon!!

tree's helper: @cages-boxes-hunters-foxes duhhh

lyrics: @imhereonthekitchenfloor's analysis posts send me to my knees

real life superhero: @friendlyneighborhoodpegacorn (and someone else on here that i cant remember their blog but ily mwah) are literally nurses saving lives every day!!

better person: @animalanon reminds me to appreciate the small things and critters in life <3

jack's bff: id bet money that @youweremycrown is only like 3 degrees of separation from him and they're already besties unbeknownst to the rest of us

lived closer: anon you have GOT to stop giving me these questions because they answer has and always will be every single one of my mutuals!!!! i want to meet all of yall someday

wherever you stray i follow: me checking @because-im-a-mirrorball and i's shared spotify playlist every few weeks and listening to all of them

aaron dessners bff: @thehoax because i think they would talk about a certain song for ages and have the best time

#txt #letter left on your doorstep #blog rec anon

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snoozeagustd · 2 years

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100 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE CELEBRATION!?

HI, OKAY WHAT THE FUCK??!! I just woke up and what do I see?

THIS:

I am literally in shock right now!

thank you so much for all of the love that you have given me and honestly thank you so so much for all the support you all have given this blog! I never expected this blog to have 100 followers, let alone more than 100, but you all proved me wrong.

THANK YOU MY LOVELIES I WILL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU <33

To celebrate (because i like to find excuses to celebrate anything and everything), I wanted to do something fun! Thank you so much Freya darling (@sugarwithtea) for helping me come up with a few ideas for this event and for keeping up with my rambling! This literally would not have been possible without you my jaan!

I will be taking requests for this event over 2 weeks (!!!) and I'll try my best to answer them as soon as possible. Please read the rules for each game (whether you can be on anon, whether you are a mutual, ect)

all posts related to this event will be tagged as #nixie hits 100!

I hope you guys enjoy~~

(please ignore how messy this banner is. i’m doing some semblance of editing after literal years and i have definitely gotten worse-)

💫 vibe check : i’ll tell you what vibes i get from you/your blog in a moodboard (ive never done this before so please don’t mind that it’s not great) (off anon please)

💕 shipping game : send me a description of yourself/a fun fact + a fandom (Marvel, Obey Me, BTS or TXT) and i’ll ship you with a character! (anon is allowed)

🕹️ games: any of your typical tumblr event games! (fmk, would you rather, top 5 or anything else you can think of!) (anon is allowed)

🔖 recommendations (from you) : send me any recommendations you have for tv shows, movies, books, songs, tumblr blogs, etc! (anon is allowed)

📑 recommendations (from me) : i’ll put my ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle and recommend you a song! (off anon please)

🫂shout outs: recommend some of your own fics or just some fics you love so we can show appreciation for all these amazing writers here on tumblr! (anon is allowed)

❤ first love: share some crush stories with me! (anon is allowed)

Since it’s also my birthday today, I've decided to add a few more personal asks so that you can get to know me better!

🔮 then and now: tell me your first impression of me and I'll tell you mine! (off anon please) (mutuals only)

🏹 exchange ship: tell me who you ship me with, and I'll tell you yours with a why (off anon please) (mutuals only)

💌 questions: send me any questions that you have for me! NSFW questions are allowed! (for NSFW asks, you need to be off anon so that i can verify your age) for general questions, you can ask me on anon! (gain inspiration here or here )

✨ advice: ask me for some advice on questions about life or just whatever you want! (please don’t take my answers seriously) (anon is allowed)

Below this, I'm just going to tag some of my friends here on tumblr who have made my time here super super fun and memorable! I am truly grateful and appreciative to all of you!

to some of my closest friends here:

@mochakat @eternallydaydreaming2015 @tea-is-vibing @adoveamongdemons @poetic-dumbass @buckyinluv @kaitioo @sugarwithtea @jjkeverlast @yoongukie-ff

firstly, thank you for taking time out of your day to talk to my pathetic ass :’) i really do hope that we can continue to be friends for a long time because i don’t know what i would do without all of you. You guys don’t know it, but you have become a big part of my life! I truly treasure and appreciate all of you <3

i love and treasure yall sm, you have no idea 💖💗💝❤️‍🔥❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🤍💕

to the rest of my moots:

@istanfluffycontent @yourlocaltimetraveler @chiimiie @namkook @hawtymin @hobipost @kookiecrumb @parkdatjimin @bebejungkook @smasmashie @thetaeprint @xpeachesncream @liyacreate @glamrocklevi @angeladore @just-another-fangirl-69 @henry-and-the-seven-lords @obeythebutler @adoveamongdemons @this-bitch-needs-therapy @incorrectlyavenged @somniprobe @satandrankmy-coffee @a-hoe-in-human-form-2 @kimtaesss @underratedbitch-number13 @pjiminbloomx @yoongukie-ff @skyfull0fstories @lvoekook @wrote-my-own-deliverance @youlightmeupfinn @gimmethatagustd @bangtanintotheroom

I know that we don’t really interact much outside of reblogs and/or likes but I hope you know that whenever I see you in my notifs, I literally smile like an idiot. no joke. anyways, please feel free to approach me because due to my anxiety, I will never be able to although i really want to talk to all of you. I hope that we can get closer eventually <3

to the rest of my followers,

thank you so so much for allowing me to reach this milestone when I never ever thought that I would. I really appreciate you and I adore seeing you in my notifs! I do recognize you, you know? I hope that as time goes on, we can have more of such events and celebrate together!!

💖💖✨✨

#nixie speaks #ettie🌸#dove and nixie being an iconic duo #kai's wanda #nixieee and teaaa 🥰#jjkeverlast #lati <3 #august🌊#nixie and lys in looove<3 #nixie and freya💌#yoongukie ff #meg <3 #nixie hits 100!#100 followers milesone!#nixie's 22!

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theravenclawlover · 3 years

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Welcome to the Industry of Porn

Paring: Avengers X Female!Reader

Warnings: +18, heavy smut, drinking, slight angst in later chapters, fluff if you squint, and my English as usual.

Word Count: 3,451.

Summary: AU where the Avengers are Pornstars. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

Chapter: 4.

Chapter Title: A new kind of family

A/N: I finally graduated yall! So long college life! Sorry, this part took so long to post, but I had finals and graduation, and now I have to look for a job lmao. Nothing scandalous on this part, and won't until maybe the next one. which won't be you but two of my favorite characters. If you want to be tagged for this work or others please let me know by either commenting or sending me an ask.

The month after the glorious evening you and Cassie had in Las Vegas, life became full of surprises. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you hadn't expected to keep in touch with anyone you met at the party, but it seemed you had made a good impression because you were now friends with Bucky and Steve. Well, more like texting buddies as that was the only way the four—Cassie was also in the group chat Bucky had insisted on making as he found it annoying to send the same funny videos three times—could keep contact. It had started with funny videos Bucky would text you, and then Steve would send important news he found on the internet. You, of course, were confused but didn't say anything until Cassie had brought it up as she commented about a topic Steve had sent the both of you. You found it funny, really, almost ironic that you had seen those two fuck for porn and now they were trying to come up with a catchy nickname that they could bug you with. Again, ironic.

But that wasn't the only thing that had been a surprise, you had been seeing more of Tony as well. You knew that Stark was friends with the Russo's but something they had failed to mention during the party was that they were the directors behind most of the high-ranking adult movies the Avengers had. You had found out about it one week and a half after the party when you were shooting three different shorts for the Russo's, and Tony had paid a visit along with Jason. Cassie and you were confused to see both men there and had asked Joe after the day was over why they were there. He had opted to grin and say, 'he has new projects, and has been talking with Jason and us about 'em'. That had been enough for the both of you until he kept coming to every other shoot you had.

One morning, after having shot the first couple of scenes of the day, Jason knocked on the door of the room Cassie was waiting for you to finish taking a quick shower.

"Hey, what's up?" said Cassie as she opened the door to let the man in.

"Morning, I was looking for Y/n? is she still in the shower?" he asked as he looked around the bare room of the rented house where the scenes were being shot.

"Yup, she got some of it on her hair," said Cassie as she scrunched her nose. Jason huffed a laugh.

"I guess I would spend as much time in the shower if I had sperm all over my hair," he added as he took a seat on the bed, "I hope you don't mind if I wait here with ya?"

"Nah, it's fine." Cassie sat next to him as they heard your voice carry as you sang one of your favorite songs.

"So, why do you need to talk to Y/n?"

"I'm sure you and Y/n have seen Stark and I come in a couple of times," she nodded her head, "well, a couple of months ago he had to cut some people from his company and team, and he's been looking for new people and you and Y/n seem to have made an impression on him. And trust me, he rarely comes out to scout people, he has Maria Hill and Nick Fury for that."

"Wait, so you're saying that Stark wants Y/n?"

"Who wants me?" you asked as you opened the door of the bathroom, a bathrobe covering you as you used a towel to dry your hair.

"I was about to tell Cassie how Stark has personally made the time to speak with me, Joe, and Anthony so he can make a contract for you and Cassie," said Jason as he got up from the bed to face both of you and Cassie.

"What?!" you and Cassie shrieked at the same time.

"Stark has been talking to Joe and Anthony because you—" he pointed at you, "—are under contract with them, and he's been talking to me about you Cassie because he wanted to see the pictures you took of Y/n. He wants you to be part of his photography and video department."

It was silent.

Cassie sat still on the bed as she gaped at the man while you had stopped your movements with the towel still drying your wet hair. It seemed like a whole five minutes before you or Cassie moved or said anything.

"Are you pulling our legs?" you asked as you approached Cassie and sat next to her.

"I know, it sounds crazy, the man himself has been at our necks trying to make sure nothing can stop him from hiring you both," he said with a smile.

"Fuck," exclaimed Cassie as she finally looked at you. You looked at her with the same wide eyes.

"Yes."

"Excuse me?" said Jason as he looked at you. You had whispered your answer.

"Tell Stark we're in, we'll sign."

Jason smiled wider as he took his phone out of his pocket to call Tony.

Tony Stark had set up a meeting the next morning as soon as Jason had said the words 'they're in' to him. And so, the next morning, you and Cassie drove to the once 'Stark Enterprises' building which was now called 'Avengers Tower' which was the name Bucky had said the building was called. The building was tall, with numerous amount of floors that you both could only guess what they were for. Down on the first floor was only a front desk with a young woman.

"Good morning, how can I help you?" said the woman with an Irish accent.

"Morning, we're here for a meeting with Tony Stark," said Cassie with a smile. The woman asked for your last name as well as Cassie's before she let you take the elevator indicating to press 93 to arrive at Tony's office floor.

"I still can't believe we're here to sign a deal with Tony Stark so we both can work here. Like, my brain can process it still," you said as you shifted on your spot as your anxiety rose.

"You can't process it? Imagine me! I'm not even graduated and I'm about to have a job that is willing to take me even before I receive my damn diploma. Stark seems to be in a hurry if you ask me," said Cassie as she glanced at the changing numbers on the panel.

"I know, I mean Jason did tell you that he had lost some people, so maybe he's one of those people that can't be at peace if things are not to their liking, kinda like you," you said as you chuckled at the last part. As you conversed with Cassie, your nerves calmed. The doors opened announcing your arrival on the last floor of the building.

The floor was as spacious as the first floor, but this time the floor was part lobby—which was ridiculously fancy—and part Stark's office. The doors to his office were open, so he raised his head when you and Cassie came out of the elevator.

"The ladies of the hour," he said as he stood from his chair and walked around his desk as he approached you both while you two walked into his office. Which was fancy as well, full of weird tech gadgets.

"I'm glad the two of you decided to make a deal with me," he said as he signaled to the chairs in front of his desk.

You both took your seats as Tony walked over a small cabinet that to no one's surprised ended up being a wine cabinet.

"I know it's early, but would you two like a glass of wine? It's not every day I hire people," he said as he took out a wine bottle.

"Sure, why not," you said, and Cassie nodded. Soon, you three were sitting down and with a glass of wine in hand.

"Alright, so I know a lot about you Y/n which is why I know I want you to work for me. But you, Cassie, I don't know much about you aside from your work with photography. Do you know anything else aside from photography?"

Cassie cleared her throat as she felt all eyes on her.

"I know video editing, but my main focus has always been photography. I did take two semesters where I focused on digital design, but that was before I decided to just double major on photography and creative writing," she said.

"Creative writing?" he asked as he sipped his wine.

"Yeah, but that was because of the number of writing courses I had to take as GEN-ED courses and was recommended to just double major so I wouldn't have random credits," she said while she shrugged.

"So, you're good at writing?"

"Not as good as Miss almost-a-journalism-major over here," she said as she pointed at you, which made you groan. She knew how it annoyed you to be reminded of your failed attempts to make it through college.

You expected Tony to laugh along with Cassie who let out a chuckle at your reaction, but Tony looked at you with raised eyebrows but before you could ask anything, he smiled and pulled out two contracts along with two fountain pens.

"Well, I guess that's good to know because the position I want you to have involves a little of everything of what you do," he sat back on his chair, "I want you to be head of the department. The last person was fired because it turned out I was trusting the wrong kind of people, so this time I wanted something fresh to erase the mark they left and teach new things to those who stayed here. Your job, if you take it, will involve taking pictures of my starts when they work. I will have to work on the schedule that way you know who you'll be working with, sometimes you'll have another person with you because there are never too many pictures when they're good. You will also be asked to keep up with the video vlogs some of my starts have, you just gotta make sure they're submitting good things. You will have a team for that, you want a good video done, they'll do it, but you can always do it yourself if you want. And lastly, every year two of my departments come together for the yearly special issue but that is still months away, so no need to worry about it right now. So, Cassie, can I trust that you will be able to do this?"

You and Cassie were speechless at the number of things she would have to do. Your job was easy: act, fuck, and repeat. Hers? There's a reason why you dropped out of college, and she didn't. She could do it.

"I'll admit, it is scary the number of things I would be doing, but Mr. Stark, I can assure you that I will give my one-thousand-percent for this opportunity. I will not break that trust, sir."

She understood that it was serious, therefore you did try to hold a chuckle at how formal she sounded with him contrary to what she had sounded back at the party.

Tony took a minute to analyze Cassie's face before he gave a chuckle and grinned.

"Cassie, you have me convinced that I am making the right choice by adding you to my team," he pushed the contracts toward you both, one for you and one for Cassie, "Now, you Y/n, I already know I want you here and if I'm being honest, I have some people that were quick to tell me that you are one of the few that actually take this job seriously. It's hard to find that professionalism these days. So, here are the contracts. I know this was super last minute, so you can get comfortable outside and read them over. If you have any questions or want to go over any section of the contract, just walk right in."

With that, you both grabbed the contract. Cassie made herself comfortable on the big couch, she held a groan as the comfy couch could make her fall asleep within seconds, you opted for the lone sofa.

Neither of you could believe it was really happening, you were minutes away from signing with the brand that introduced you to this world, and Cassie was also minutes away from signing with the same brand she never thought she would be working for, and she was sure no other job would offer her an important position like the one Tony was trusting her with. It was all too surreal, yet it felt right. It felt like this was the right path and life had finally been kind enough to shed some light toward it.

While you were almost done with the contract, the last couple of pages talked about one of the offers/benefits if you worked for the company: living accommodations. You read over it carefully as it seemed like it was too good to be true. The building was not only the headquarters, but it also housed all the stars and the majority of the staff that work at the company. It was not mandatory, but each of the house-floors offered up to ten rooms, one full kitchen, one spacious common area, and each bedroom offered a personal full bathroom, and a spacious room with a queen-sized bed—which could be changed if you opted to buy a different one—and you could decorate the room however you wanted. Everything was paid for, there was no rent, but you would be in charge of your own groceries, necessities, and room furniture. The pay was good, the deal was great, the decision was made.

You showed Cassie what you had finished reading, and she had to read it from her contract to believe it. It was no surprise when she said that she would have to rent her apartment to the other college students because there was no way in hell she was going to pass out on living here along with you. Besides, the drive to the university was long from here.

Soon after that you both took a deep breath and signed the contract. Now, Tony needed to sign, and it would be a sealed deal.

You both, with grins on your face, walked in and Tony, upon seeing you both, clapped his hands and grabbed the contracts you both had set on the desk for him. He scanned it over and smiled when he saw that you both had signed for the living arrangements as well. He looked up with a bright smile.

"Well, only one thing left to do," he grabbed his pen and signed where he needed it. "Welcome to the family, you two are officially Avengers."

Before Tony could get up and serve some drinks to celebrate, the elevator announced the arrival of a new person. You all turned your heads to see Pepper walk toward where all of you were.

"Did they sign?" said Pepper as soon as she saw both of you, a smile plastered on her face.

Tony stepped around his desk and walked toward her.

"Yes, Pepper, they are officially part of the team," said Tony with a grin as he looked proud about landing a deal with you both.

"Those are great news because I already made a reservation at the new forties-themed restaurant down a couple of streets," she said as she looked happy about her actions, and she typed on her phone, and two dings were heard. You and Cassie pulled out your phones to see that Pepper had sent the address to the place.

"Nothing fancy, it's just going to be a small dinner, I'll have Jarvis pick you up at seven at your place—"she clasped her hands together and smiled, "—this is so exciting!"

By six-forty-five, the man named Jarvis—a man with a British accent and looks that had Cassie practically drooling—knocked on your door to take you both to the restaurant Pepper had made the reservations at.

The drive was quiet and quick, and soon enough you had arrived. Pepper stood outside as she waited for the car to park in front of her. Cassie opened her door before anyone could do it for her because she had an inkling that a minute too long and she would have Jarvis or Pepper open it for you and her.

She greeted both of you and guided you in as you three thanked Jarvis. The ambiance of the restaurant was beautiful and captivating that you couldn't but gape at the place. It wasn't fancy but it definitely gave that presence. Tony was waiting as he conversed with some of the people that had already arrived. You didn't recognize the people at first but soon your mind showed you where you knew them from. Some of them were definitely future co-stars while others were definitely people Cassie was going to work with as you had never seen them before.

He walked toward you when he spotted you, Cassie, and Pepper. He got up from his chair as he walked next to Pepper.

"Glad you're here, ladies," he said as he looked at the people who were now getting up from their chairs, "these are Y/n and Cassie."

A man named Bruce shook both of your hands with a shy smile, he said that he worked for the tech and art department. He was the one who helped create the sets for the movies as well as for the short films. Then another man introduced himself as Nick Fury who was the man in charge of casting—he was director—and then his second in command introduced herself as Maria Hill. Next came a woman who you knew as Captain Marvel, but her name was Carol. You couldn't help but blush at how pretty she was and not to mention the fact that you had a big crush on her. Lastly, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch introduced themselves as Pietro and Wanda. They were nice, and you couldn't help but feel that Pietro was being extra nice to you and Cassie.

The conversations started flowing as soon as Tony had said for everybody to take a seat as he announced that the others were soon to arrive. And within ten minutes everyone that had been invited came, which to you and Cassie was definitely not a small number of people to make Pepper's "small dinner" feel like one.

When everybody was seated, and Pepper had told Tony that no one else was arriving, he had the waiter serve a glass of champagne to everyone. Once the waiters had gone and served everyone, Tony stood from his chair and called for everyone's attention.

"Thank you, all of you, for canceling plans last minute as Pepper decided to do this impromptu dinner, but at the same time, this is a dinner that is important for all of us. As some of you know, a couple of months ago we hit a rough patch, some people got fired, and it left us in a hard spot. We had enemies amongst us, and they had been selling our ideas to those channels. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to hire anyone else that would cause more damage to this company, so I went out of my way and scouted people. It turned out, there's not a lot of people that impress me, but some weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting two lovely ladies who managed to get me hooked—" he motioned with his hand to you and Cassie, "—Miss Y/n and Miss Cassie here, just today, signed their contracts and will be working with us pretty soon. Y/n will be joining my precious collection of starts while Cassie will be joining the post-production team as well with the photography department which she will hold the role of head of the department. I'm not big on adding new people to my company but I refuse to pass out on people I know will succeed here, so I want all of you to help them make themselves feel at home as they will be housed with us. So, if you could raise your glasses, I want to welcome you officially and warmly, Y/n Y/l/n and Cassie Ayers, to this one big dysfunctional family!"

Along with laughs and cheers, Cassie and you could hear the quick 'welcome' some people directed at the both of you. You two thanked Tony as he motioned his glass toward the both of you before gulping it down.

You both looked at each other before looking around at the people who tried to introduced themselves and or wanted to congratulate you both on being part of the company.

It all felt great, it felt right, and you were ready to live a life you felt good about.

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sunarinluvr · 3 years

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hi if u wouldn't mind could u do a few headcanons of kuroo and any others u may want to add that have a s/o with schizoid personality disorder? thank u so much if u do end up doing this!!

|| haikyuu boys that have a s/o with schizoid personality disorder hc’s ||

includes: kuroo tetsurou & sakusa kiyoomi

a/n- hi anon! im sorry this took a bit long, this is my very first request, so i hope i did it some justice :)) i did some research to make it as accurate as possible but if there’s anything that makes you uncomfy or you’d like to change/clarify please lmk so i can do better! thank u again <3 hope u enjoy reading

warnings: none! ( lmk if i’ve missed anything )

KUROO -

i feel like kuroo is really good at reading moods, may it be the way you act, speak, or type around/with him so he can easily tell if you would like to be left alone for the time being.

he’s a really good listener so if you’d allow him to he loves to just listen to you talk about anything and everything for hours on end hehe. not to mention he’s very understanding of you and will do anything for you :))

no because i just know that this man will look at you lovingly whenever you talk to him (he’s a simp) or whenever you text him he smiles at his phone stupidly. yes he does that and you cannot change my mind.

when you do decide to go spend some time with him, he’s very observant and respects your boundaries so he’s always careful not to cross the line.

kuroo DEFINITELY has a cat that “loves you more” than him (those are his words btw) and everytime you come over and play with it he just sits there kind of jealous - although he is smiling the whole time - while taking pics and videos!

kuroo is very happy that you let him in your life and cherishes every moment you guys spend together :>>

you cannot tell me that this man is also not well educated on your disorder. it’s just not possible,,mans has probably read almost every article about it on the internet.

of course if he feels as if you’re fine with it he would ask about your experiences with it and how he can support/help you without overstepping.

tell me why i feel like this man would provide you with so recommendations, may it be books, shows, movies, or songs. he always has something to recommend you,,,and i find that so adorable

yall have a shared playlist or he’s made one for you. i’m pretty confident about this

kuroo also hates it when people treat you rudely or badmouths you, so even though you say you don’t mind. he will absolutely make it his personal mission to shut these people up

SAKUSA -

sakusa is not a very social person and like kuroo he’s good at reading moods and very educated, so he’s always careful to make sure he isn’t overstepping any boundaries or doing anything to make you uncomfortable.

i feel like he’d be the type of person to send you care packages at least once a month :,) since he’s not very good with words, but still wants you to know that he cares

very understanding and doesn’t judge you at all! he knows that sometimes you just want to be left alone and do things alone and he gets it, because sometimes he does too

definitely sends you texts checking up on you everyday, and when you text him first he turns into a blushy mess :))

mans will TOTALLY glare at anyone who talks behind your back/bad mouths you. like he does not care who it is or where he might be he will glare that person down till it’s imprinted in their heads to not talk shit about you ever.

always very gentle and careful with what he says,, he doesn’t have any pets - because he thinks animals hate him - but when he comes over he tries his best to get along with them because he knows how much you love them <3

i feel like it’s the kind of relationship wherein even if you dont talk for a week straight the next time you do talk it feels like you never stopped speaking

sakusa is very supportive and would love to listen to you talk about your hobbies ;; also very attentive so that you know he’s actually paying attention to you

i have no idea why, but when you hangout together he’s always sure to have some type of cute but simple activity prepared like painting or board games idk i find that really cute :>

reblogs are highly appreciated!

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hatercube · 3 years

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hm. i don't really know how much this has to be said, but since OMORI's release, i've seen a few people make connections between OMORI and goodnight punpun (or oyasumi punpun) because of bo en's song my time. to any OMORI fans who have seen posts like these or know of the connection and want to seek out reading goodnight punpun, please, please, please be careful reading it. if OMORI's themes and presentation were a bit overwhelming to you, goodnight punpun is infinitely worse, and you shouldn't seek it out unless you can handle it.

yes, OMORI has themes of su*cide, depression, mental illness, etc... but goodnight punpun goes way beyond that into the realm of h*micide, codependent relationships, abuse in all sorts of forms, and contains graphic depictions of s*xual ass*ult on multiple occasions. it is not for the light hearted, and it is not intended for anyone under the age of 18.

the sort of existential dread found in goodnight punpun is extremely intense and is known for sending people on a downwards spiral. while i do highly recommend it, it's definitely not for everybody.

for me, going from playing OMORI to reading goodnight punpun for the first time a few months later was a natural progression for where ~i'm at~ rn regarding my mental health, and figuring out who i am and why the fuck i'm here in the first place. if you aren't ready to be put into a headspace that will force you to re-examine yourself and be asked some intense existential questions all while being exposed to what can only be described as a fucking tragedy, then you aren't ready for goodnight punpun.

anyway! that's it lol. i don't really know how many of yall were planning on reading it anyway, i was just thinking abt this recently.

#i also say this bc i've noticed that a lot of the omori fanbase is pretty young #i do feel out of place sometimes when i scroll through the tags lol #even though i'm not even 19 yet (three months to go!!!! omg)#both pieces of media have changed my life #i personally think that everyone should read goodnight punpun at least once #even if it will emotionally destroy you #i think i rly needed it when i read it #omori #goodnight punpun #oyasumi punpun

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joontier · 4 years

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mile high memoirs | oneshot

synopsis: you and the two other rappers of the global sensation BTS make a collaboration of sorts

pairings: namgi (namjoon and yoongi) x reader

rating: R (18+)

genre: fluff, humor, smut | au: idol! au; established relationship! au

warnings: pwp basically hnngnhng; and yes sex on a private jet bc why tf not ; cunnilingus, oral sex (m and f receiving), cum swallowing, dom! Yoongi undertones, threesome, double penetration, anal sex, multiple orgasms; i have nothing else to say at this point except im dragging yall with me to thirst hours

word count: 5.9k

g/n: NAMGI NATION RISE!!!!!! anywho, this is a lovely gift for @mintseesaw for being an awesomesauce person in general and yes, we’re thirsting for the same men bUT SHE WONT SHARE HNGNNNG SO I’VE WRITTEN THIS INSTEAD (in the hopes that this might satiate my obviously unquenchable thirst for the hyung line!?/1!?!?) ALSO THIS IS HEAVILY UNEDITED KJFSKDJFSDJF please let me know what you think! x

between the lenses navi. | navi. | m.list

“_________! Please look this way!”

“How do you feel about New Day becoming the number one streamed song in more than forty countries after being released just last week?”

“Is it true that you’re in a relationship with BTS’ Suga? Or RM? Or are the three of you engaged in a polyamorous relationship?”

The last one catches you off guard and you look away from the cameras to hide the amusement on your face. The last thing you need is people speculating about your personal life once they see your reaction to their questions, so you continue on your way to immigration, face down and expressionless.

If you were being completely honest, there was always a crowd that came with you when you had schedules overseas, fans and paparazzi huddled together as they took pictures of you. But today was different, especially considering the fact that you were also at Gimpo, and not Incheon.

With Gimpo, a significantly less busier airport than Incheon, you had only anticipated a smaller crowd but you seemed to have forgotten that you were scheduled to fly with two of the rappers of BTS to Amsterdam today to film the music video for your collaboration, “New Day”.

Upon your arrival, a throng of security guards placed themselves as barricades to bar the large group of people from crowding the hallways. Your team successfully weaves your way through the massive crowd and arrives safely by the immigration.

You soon see your boyfriend lounging by the private boarding area, and Yoongi immediately stands to greet you. You place a quick peck on his lips when you meet. Namjoon stands to greet you as well and you turn to the younger man to give him a huge hug. “It’s been a while since I saw you Joonie!” The tall rapper gets shy at your nickname, dimples peeking as he looks down.

“It must have been wild out there,” Yoongi says, giving you a once over as he checks if you got hurt or injured on the way to the boarding area. You coo at your boyfriend, face crumpling at his concern even after years of being in a relationship. Nuzzling your head onto the crook of his neck, you inhale the wonderful scent of the perfume you’d gave him when you came back from your US tour.

“Yeah it was! Honestly whenever I leave Korea, the amount of people who’d send me off isn’t even half of the crowd out there – and that’s already in Incheon! Not Gimpo! I always seem to forget that you guys are worldwide superstars!” Yoongi just laughs at your observation, shaking his head at you as he offers his iced Americano.

Unbeknownst to those outside your private lives, you had initially met Yoongi pre-debut. You used to attend the same school back in Daegu and fun fact: you were the same ex-girlfriend he’d composed a letter for during high school and sent the same to a radio station to have it aired.

You had both met at a tender age, and admittedly, there were a few petty reasons for your break-up, but one of them was because you both wanted to pursue a career in music, and with the kpop industry not exactly big on the idols dating, you had decided to remain friends, for the time being.

It was Yoongi who contacted you first when you debuted in late 2012, and as you caught on with your lives, sharing similar stories during your trainee days, he’d also asked you to anticipate their debut in a few months’ time as well.

True to his word, their group debuted the following year in June, and you had sent congratulatory flowers to BigHit, praising them for their powerful stages and a very promising career. You and Yoongi had kept in touch ever since. Nothing wrong about rekindling an old flame, right?

Funny enough, dating under the radar seemed to have fallen naturally for the two of you as you both prefer staying indoors and improvising dates rather than having to go out and risk getting caught by the media. Besides, it would have been easier just in case things got a little bit heated. Which happened most of the time. In your defense though, being able to meet at least once a week was already a blessing – so occurrences like that were bound to happen…

One day while you were trying to work out this melody for a song you composed, Yoongi sat next to you and pulled you on his lap as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “Why don’t I help you with that love?” He lets you rest your back on his chest as his fingers fluidly move against the piano keys. Genuinely satisfied with what he played for you, you placed a kiss on his cheek as a token of your gratitude. “Thanks, Suga PDnim.”

“Speaking of that… do you want to have a collab – you and me?” You look at him, expectantly, mouth slightly open at surprise of his proposal. Truthfully, you had thought about that even before you actually got back in to a relationship, but you could never really bring the subject up because he always seemed so busy and you didn’t want to burden him any further by asking for extra work.

And that’s what you told him, but your boyfriend only laughed at you, intertwining his hands with yours on the piano. “Baby, I would’ve dropped all the other collaborations if you had just said the word.”

You were beyond elated, and honored, and when Namjoon came in to check on Yoongi, the latter asked if he had any opinion on a collaboration between Yoongi and you. Your boyfriend even convinced the younger rapper to get involved in the track. With the blessing of Bang PDnim, you’re finally here, scheduled to travel overseas to film the music video for the track the three of you had worked on which went global in mere hours, thanks to the very talented men you got the chance to work with.

You take out your camera from your bag to film a little, just in case you’ll get to release a ‘behind-the-scenes’ vlog for your collaboration. You make an attempt to film Yoongi who’s half-awake but all to no avail. Namjoon gladly offers some screen time for your video. The younger rapper laughs shyly when you squeal in excitement asking him for a few words about your collaboration. Namjoon does so like a professional: telling the camera where you’re headed off to today, thanking the fans for their never-ending support, and wishing them to anticipate the upcoming music video.

It doesn’t take long before someone tells the lot that your plane is ready to board, so you wake a dazed Yoongi and bid goodbye to the rest of the staff who were taking a separate flight to your destination.

Ever the hardworking idol, Yoongi decides to make some revisions on a song he’s working on while you take this time to finally finish a book Namjoon himself recommended a while back. You don’t notice the hours that have passed by when you check the window, and it’s already pitch-black outside, save the occasional gray because of the clouds.

Unbuckling your seatbelt, you head over to the lavatory to relieve your bladder. On your way back to your seat, you glance Namjoon’s way and see the flesh-colored screen your eyes getting glued to the screen watching two men pound a girl into the mattress. You get drawn back to reality because of some minor turbulence and you quickly avert your eyes from the screen.

“Babe, Joonie’s watching porn,” you whisper as you get to your seat, snuggling into your warm blanket. “And who told my girlfriend it was right to snoop into other people’s preferential pastimes?”

You roll your eyes at him, “It’s not like I purposely watched what was on his screen! Just in case you needed the facts, he was seated with his back facing me, so it’s just natural that I’d get a glimpse of whatever ‘preferential pastime’ it is that you he was doing on his phone! It’s not my fault he didn’t dim the brightness if he truly wanted to watch it privately- “

“You didn’t need to go off, babe,” Yoongi laughs, placing a kiss on your head. “Should we head to bed now? I wanna sleep…and cuddle. Sleep, really, but since you’re here, I guess we could cuddle.”

“You make it sound like it’s a chore!”

Yoongi gives your indignance no attention, just tugging you up from your seat towards the bedroom. “Joon, we’re going to go to sleep now. You should go do the same soon.”

Namjoon’s lips part to reply, but Yoongi beats him to it. “And don’t even think about attempting to sleep in that seat. There are two beds back there for a reason. _______ and I will just share one. Feel free to take the other.” A small smile graces the younger man’s face in gratitude, nodding his head as he wishes you both a good night’s sleep.

Of course, life is bittersweet – so even with an insanely comfy bed and your boyfriend beside you to snuggle freely – a good night’s sleep is the last thing you get. Restlessly turning to lie on your back for what seems to be the hundredth time tonight, you heave a sigh as you stare at the jet’s ceiling. Must’ve been the iced Americano you shared with Yoongi before you boarded. Damn him and his triple-shot Americano.

Namjoon enters the room and notices your state of restlessness. “Can’t sleep?”

“Sort of.”

“There’s warm milk by the galley if you want some.”

“I’m too lazy to get up…”

Namjoon chortles, finding it’s moments like these that remind him of your likeness to Yoongi. “I can get you some if you want?” Namjoon offers, already turning to leave the room but you grab his arm, stopping him from doing so.

“No, please! You really don’t need to. I know I’ll be able to sleep in a few more minutes….”

“The average person falls asleep in twenty, and you and Yoongi hyung came here about an hour ago,” Namjoon points out. Giving him a blank stare, you reply, “Why don’t you head to bed and rest? We’ve still got a long day tomorrow.”

“Okay. Good night, noona.”

“Night Joonie.”

You have proven all of Google’s methods of falling asleep faster to be false. Warm milk, the 4-7-8 breathing method, relaxing music, even counting sheep in vain. You’d even tried working on your vlog to Amsterdam (that you probably aren’t even going to release), giving up when you couldn’t make out Yoongi’s slurred speech when you tried to interview him while he was napping (you don’t know why you even bothered at this point, but you probably thought it was funny earlier this afternoon).

Nada. Nothing was working, not when you’ve still got three shots of espresso coursing through your veins.

There was only one way left and you had a feeling that this was going to definitely knock you out. You need to get exhausted, and the only idea left is sitting cross-legged at the back of your head, blowing a huge bubble with her gum as she files her nails. She looks at you with taunting eyes. You glance over to Namjoon’s bed, analyzing his features to see if he had gone to sleep already or not. A light snore that escapes his lips assures you so.

Letting out another exhale, you turn to face Yoongi on your left, studying his features. Your boyfriend wakes when your lips graze his cheek as you place a light kiss on his milky skin. One eye pries open to peer at you. “Babe, what are you doing?” His groggy voice shouldn’t have appealed to you as strongly as it did now, but your desperation to get some sleep had seemed to travel south.

“Just kissing my beautiful boyfriend,” you shrug innocently, fighting the teasing lilt in your voice when you see the corner of his lips rise at your sudden compliment. “You don’t fool me, Miss _____, Billboard’s Top Female Solo Artist of the Year, MAMA’s Best Rap Performance, Golden Disc Awards’ Best…”

“Okay, okay, you got me.” You giggle as Yoongi pulls you closer to meet your lips in a chaste kiss. “What’s wrong princess?” You state the obvious, pointing to your eyes which now probably had bags under them. “Can’t sleep,” you pout, slipping your hand underneath his shirt to give him a back rub as you snuggle to his chest.

“And what do you suppose we are to do about it?” Yoongi asks, chest rumbling as he speaks. You take your bottom lip between your teeth as you look up at him expectantly, giving him a knowing look.

Yoongi looks at you incredulously, the lack of rest still visible in his features. You instantly look away, guilt spreading across your chest. You internally scold yourself as you had to wake up your boyfriend for selfish reasons. Your boyfriend senses your sudden hesitance and places a finger under your chin, ordering you to look at him. “Hey, hey, look at me darling. Right here, right now? I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t have the energy to-“

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll do all the work.”

“And Namjoon, who’s just a mere meter away?” His pitch lowers, voice now barely above a whisper. You nod shyly and Yoongi’s eyes darken at your unspoken offer.

“You’re a naughty little slut, aren’t you?” Yoongi hisses, placing his hands on your waist and lifting you easily to have your sit on his thighs, just below his crotch. “Wanting to fuck on a plane, while another member is sleeping right beside us?”

Placing your hands on Yoongi’s chest for support, you move your hips forward, grinding your crotch against your boyfriend’s. Yoongi pulls you forward by your arms, just enough that your face is merely centimeters away from him. Wasting no time, he presses his lips against yours, darting his tongue out to deepen the kiss. He expresses his desire to help you with your dilemma by thrusting upwards gently to join your gyrating hips.

You peek sideways to check on Namjoon and breathe a sigh of relief when he finally turns to the other side, back facing the both of you.

You hastily discard your top and your bra in desperation, hands roaming all over your torso and eventually letting them end at your chest, fondling with your breasts and tweaking your nipples between your fingers. Not satisfied with your own ministrations, you guide Yoongi’s hands to your breasts, letting him squeeze them as he pleases beneath his open palms.

“God, you’re so fucking hot,” Yoongi murmurs, bending his knees to push himself upwards to make himself more comfortable. Yoongi quickly attaches his moist lips to one of your breasts, sucking at the supple flesh. You grind heavier against him in response and Yoongi takes this as an opportunity to fist a handful of your hair and tug sharply, baring your neck to him.

You barely manage to hold in your whimpers when he sucks on a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, definitely leaving a purplish mark there that you’ll eventually have to cover up with foundation. Nothing you’ve never done before. “Remember that short dress you wore on stage last week with that dangerous cleavage?” You nod shakily, remembering the way Yoongi tried hard to not stare at you too long as one of his fansites might catch onto something.

“Guess what baby? It’s payback time.”

“For what?” You flutter your eyes innocently at him and you suddenly feel the temperature rise a few degrees with Yoongi’s intense stare.

“You knew exactly what you were doing that night, naughty little tease.” Okay, maybe you did, and maybe you bit your lip in front of the camera at the exact moment you knew he was looking. Needless to say, he avoided your eyes for the rest of the evening during that particular awards show.

He thrusts up harshly, his clothed hard-on grinding deliciously against your likewise covered cunt. “Mhmm, Yoongs… I- I wanna…” You don’t find the need to say anything else, just one look at the bulge inside his sweatpants was enough for him to understand.

“Yes please.” Yoongi sighs in contentment, raising his hips to help you remove his clothes. You include his boxers as you take his sweatpants off, cock slapping against his stomach as it springs free from the confines of his underwear.

Giggling excitedly, you hide beneath the covers, fitting yourself snugly between Yoongi’s legs. You take your time as you stare at his dick, long and girthy and curved just the right amount – always a tight fit inside your walls. You couldn’t wait for later when he’ll let you impale yourself on his cock as you ride him – the vivid picture makes you even wetter.

Building up his anticipation, you start placing kisses from his happy trail down to his groin, kneading his balls gently while you’re at it. Finding it difficult to communicate his feelings is one trait of Yoongi that definitely has its pros and cons. For one, people actually think Yoongi doesn’t care for others but it’s actually the complete opposite, but along with this, he gives the most genuine reactions, one which you are thankful for, especially during times like these.

Yoongi’s pretty responsive, and vocal at times when he’s really in the mood, and when you tentatively flick your tongue against his frenulum, the instantaneous quiver of Yoongi’s body has you reveling, giving yourself an imaginary pat on the back.

Momentarily leaving his red, angry shaft, you gently take his balls in your mouth, sucking on it, and gently massaging it with your tongue. “Quit the teasing, _______.” Being the good, obedient girl that you are, you comply immediately, paying attention to his dick this time.

You see his abdominals contract when you finally take him in your mouth, veiny hands grabbing at your temple to fist a handful of your hair. Inch by inch, you let his cock sink into your mouth, swallowing when he reaches the back of your throat. Yoongi hisses at the sensation, cursing to a throw pillow he’d taken from the seats.

Not wanting to agonize him any longer, you get to a pleasurable pace, bobbing your head up and down his length. Yoongi’s chest starts heaving and his grip on your hair tightens – the tell-tale signs of his impending orgasm. “Shit, baby…” Your boyfriend warns you that he’s about to cum, and you pull back a little, just to feel him release ropes of his cum inside your mouth.

Yoongi beckons you closer, weakly pulling at your arms to have you lie on his chest. He’s still panting when you get closer, “You, darling, are perfection personified.”

Slapping his chest lightly in jest, you reply, “You’re only saying that because I just gave you the best blowjob of your life.” Yoongi pulls his head back, facial features exaggeratedly contorted to fake being offended. “Okay first of all, you always do. And second, do you want me to get sappy and make a list what makes you the perfect woman ever?” He asks, letting two of his fingers dance on the bare skin of your belly, eventually leading southwards, “Or…I could just show you how much you mean to me by doing something else? Something you and I will both enjoy, hmm?”

Expressing your approval with a hum, Yoongi wastes no time, meeting your lips in a feverish kiss. Gasping at the sensation of his wet lips trailing all the way from your cheek, down to your jaw then your collarbones and onto the valley of your breasts, you squirm impatiently underneath your boyfriend.

“Patience, darling,” Yoongi chuckles, sending you a flirty wink as he gets down on you, teasingly pulling at the waistband of your shorts before removing them. His gaze darkens when he notices your underwear choice – a lacy red thong just for him. You’ve meant to have him remove it from you once you reach the hotel in Amsterdam, but doing it in a jet seems just as hot.

When he gets the thong off of you, he quickly pockets it inside his discarded sweatpants by the end of the bed. Getting back to his task at hand, you’re unable to control the gasp that escapes your lips when Yoongi brazenly flattens his tongue on your bare core.

Keeping your folds open with two fingers, he curls his tongue around your clit, thighs subconsciously squeezing his head in between because of the stimulation. With one hand, he keeps your legs spread open for him. Alternating between your clit and your entrance, Yoongi makes sure not a single region of your core is left out.

Wanting to put your limits to the test, your boyfriend tentatively slides a finger against your folds, the coldness of your couple ring on his digit making you quiver to the bone. He slowly slides a finger in, prepping your hole for what’s to come. You plead for one more, fully aware that your greedy little pussy isn’t contented with one. Yoongi complies with your request at once, pumping his digits inside of you and occasionally curling them inside. That familiar coil inside you tightens with every second, and with one particular curl of his digit and his mouth on your clit, you reach your high.

Your body trembles with the intensity of your orgasm, and Yoongi won’t stop just yet, still licking long stripes on your cunt. Your boyfriend stops abruptly and rises, resting all his weight on his arms as he crawls forward and lowers himself to whisper something in your ear. “He’s awake. You want me to do something about it?”

Legs closing subconsciously while in thought, Yoongi gives you a few choices to ponder on. “We could pretend he’s not awake and get done with this, or…” Yoongi looks at you, carefully studying your facial reaction, “we could have another collaboration of some sort…”

“It’s really up to you baby, I’m honestly okay with both.”

You raise your eyebrows at his statement, never really taking Yoongi as the type to explore your deepest sexual fantasies. But then again, Yoongi has always been one to support you in everything, even with your kinks. Maybe the idea didn't surprise you as much as it should have considering the level of trust that came with living with someone for almost ten years already.

Yoongi gently falls to your side for a moment as he lets you decide. “You know, Namjoon used to have a crush on you,” your boyfriend informs, twirling a loose strand of your hair around his finger. Now that was a surprise. “He did?”

“Mhmm. At one point, he even had you as his phone wallpaper when you released your second single.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, I really don’t mind if you wanted to indulge him, you know, as an early birthday present? We actually had this kind of conversation a few years back and honestly, we’re both willing to try a threesome… what better way to do it with a person you trust right?”

The bluntness of his words catches you off guard - several trains of thoughts scattered throughout your brain. Namjoon had a crush on you? Birthday present? Threesome? How did you even get in this situation in the first place? Yoongi shifts a little as you continue contemplating, then you take notice of Yoongi’s bare lower half, cock still stiff and upright. Shit!

“You’re still hard,” you comment lamely, staring at his dick. “I know, and I’d greatly appreciate it if you tell me your decision quickly…”

You look at him again, checking if there is the slightest hint of uncertainty in his eyes. When you see none, you ask him again, “You’re really sure you’re okay with that?”

“Of course, as long as you’re comfortable with the idea. Honestly, I’m willing to have it any way because we still have a very pressing problem,” Yoongi points to his crotch, “and honestly, I think Namjoon is too. There’s nothing more that can turn a man on other than a woman’s moans,” he shrugs.

You want to laugh at Yoongi being totally nonchalant about this whole situation, but if you’d listen to your gut feeling, you’re sensing it’s Yoongi’s outstanding self-control that has him so calm and collected about this proposal.

Once you tell your boyfriend of your approval, he calls Namjoon at once. When the younger man won’t budge, you look at Yoongi who just shakes his head at you with a playful smirk on his face. He points at you then back to Namjoon, gesturing you to do the talking.

You gulp before saying a short plea to the heavens above. Surely, they’re bound to hear you better since you’re already in the sky right? “Joonie, darling, it’s okay to look. We don’t mind.” You cringe at the tone of your voice, surprised at how convincing you sounded while you were having an inner turmoil.

When you see Namjoon’s head raise a little, you subconsciously bite your lip in anticipation. Wanting nothing more than to see what he has to say about this. Yoongi probably senses his hesitation so he starts to speak, “It’s okay, she’s covered with a blanket.”

“But you’re not!” Yoongi juts his head forward, a grim look on his face. “As if you haven’t seen me naked before!”

“That’s different! T-This is a completely different situation.”

“Listen to me you kinky ass motherfucker, I just know you’re hard. I am too, and you know damn well it’s painful and uncomfortable. So, unless you want me to fuck her while you’re watching or pretending to be asleep, I suggest you take your clothes off and come here.”

“Are you both sure you’re okay with this?”

“Didn’t you just hear our conversation a while ago? I mean your bed is just a meter away.”

“I know, I heard,” Namjoon says, hands already at the hem of his hoodie, then instantaneously looks at the older one dead in the eye, “But, hyung, did you really have to call me out like that?! The whole crush thing and the wallpaper - jeez!”

Namjoon takes his phone out of his hoodie first, placing it by the window, then removing the rest of the clothes he has on quickly under your heated gaze.

“Try having a conversation while you’re hard,” Yoongi mutters, rolling his eyes. Yoongi scoots closer to you when Namjoon moves forward, standing with only his boxers left on. Your mouth waters at the outline of his straining bulge while Yoongi clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“Why don't you show your Joonie what that mouth can do?”

The tall man makes a sound between a cough and a groan, and you lie on your stomach, crawling a little bit closer to come face to face with Namjoon’s crotch. You just know he’s longer than Yoongi judging from what you’re seeing, but Yoongi’s definitely girthier and fuck - the thought alone is enough for you to come undone, completely untouched.

Namjoon shivers lightly when you trace a finger along the length of his boner, placing a light kiss atop his cloth boxers. Impatiently, you hook a finger on the waistband of his Versace boxers. Holy fuck - you send another prayer to their hard stans, wishing them an equally intense life inside the bedroom.

His cock springs free, and you scoot closer, wanting to have a better look at his pretty dick. You get into action quickly, hand wrapping around the base of his cock. You place a kiss on the leaking head, before licking a wet stripe along the length of his shaft.

You get more confident when Namjoon inhales sharply at the simple action. A few more licks and you decide to finally take him in his mouth, gradually moving lower until you have at least a third of him in your mouth. Namjoon sighs, fingers carding through your hair as you pull your mouth off him with a pop. Once more, you sink down, shallow and easy as you tease the younger man.

The grip on your hair eventually tightens, goading you on and encouraging you to go deeper. Namjoon becomes more vocal when you pick up the pace, and when you go down all the way to the hilt, you pause for a moment, then swallow. “Holy fuck!” Namjoon cries out, head lolling backwards in pleasure. “God, I wish I had a girlfriend too.” Yoongi chuckles from behind you and you almost forgot he was there too with Namjoon’s pretty length keeping you preoccupied.

Yoongi praises you and calls you a good girl. Beaming at your boyfriend, he tells you to continue giving Namjoon the blow of his life. Under Yoongi’s compliments, you work harder, ignoring the slight burn in your jaw. Namjoon starts bucking his hips, desperately chasing his high in your mouth. As you feel that coil slowly forming in the pit of your stomach, you gather some of the blankets between your thighs, bunching them up against your cunt so you have something to shamelessly grind your folds with.

Namjoon’s breathing gets strained, and you feel a tap on your leg, causing you to momentarily stop with Namjoon. Yoongi says nothing as he tells you to flip over. Settling your weight on your elbows, you watch Yoongi hand Namjoon a silver packet. “You really think you won’t get caught wetting the sheets babe? You’re not the only who gets to have fun here.”

He peppers a few kisses on your things before placing a hand between, spreading your legs open. “What are you waiting for, princess? Wanna leave Namjoon hanging just like that?” Unsure of what he has in mind, Namjoon helps you guide his shaft back to your mouth. As Namjoon returns to a rhythmic pace inside your mouth, you feel Yoongi settling himself between your legs. Good lord, was this really about to happen?

Your back arches when Yoongi starts with light vertical licks from the bottom to top. You feel his hand trail upwards, gently caressing your breasts. You’re mewling by the time Namjoon increases his pace, and Yoongi starts and toying with your clit mercilessly.

The feeling gets too much when Yoongi sucks on your nether bud, then proceeds to tease your rim a little, using your essence to slowly ease a ringed finger inside your hole. Namjoon hisses with your every moan, the vibrations coming from your throat an added blessing to having fucked your mouth.

From your view, you see Namjoon’s balls tighten and seconds later thick ropes of cum slide down your throat and you swallow before pulling back and licking your lips. Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Yoongi, once more, asserts his dominance, ordering you to get on your knees.

You feel your heart hammering against your ribcage in exhilaration, secretly hoping that this will finally be the day your deepest fantasies will come to life. Yoongi scoots over a little to lie horizontally on the bed. He calls you over, index finger curved like a hook to beckon you to ride him.

You move over to him in shaky legs, hooking a leg over his body to straddle his hips. “No, no, not facing me…” Yoongi waves his hand as he helps you up. “Facing him,” your boyfriend points to Namjoon whose mouth falls open in shock. Yoongi rips a packet open and rolls a condom onto his shaft.

“Hyung…” This was plain torture.

“I thought this was supposed to be an early birthday present for me?” Namjoon mumbles, scratching his neck with the small silver packaging between his fingers. “I know. But great things never came easy right?” Namjoon visibly deflates at the older rapper’s words. He had a point yes, but some points weren’t supposed to be applicable to all fields of life…

Not wanting to prolong your waiting any longer, you lower yourself onto Yoongi’s cock, inch by inch until he’s fully seated inside your warm, velvety walls. Your head falls back at the feeling of his cock inside you. Every time feels like the first.

Once you feel you’ve adjusted enough to Yoongi, you stabilize yourself on Yoongi’s thighs, sliding up until it’s only his head left inside before sliding back down. Your thighs get tired after a while, and Yoongi helps you by gripping your hips and thrusting upwards. As you move up and down and grind back and forth in circles, Yoongi calls Namjoon over just before you reach another climax.

“It’s about time you join the fun here, no? Joonie?” Yoongi playfully mocks the taller man, using your nickname for Namjoon to rile him up even further. You whine when Yoongi pulls out for a moment, closing your eyes as he places a quick kiss on your shoulder

You hear the ripping of a packaging and as you open your eyes, you see Namjoon near you until his thighs are hitting the edge of the bed. You let out a wanton moan when you feel Yoongi prodding his cock against your other hole, shallowly dipping the head in then pulling out. He repeats the action until he deems you’re ready, the slowly lowers you down onto his length.

“Namjoon…” Yoongi says breathily, having difficulty with his self-control with your rim having a vice-like grip on his cock. The other man in front of you doesn’t need to be told twice, slapping his dick against your folds. The action sends lewd sounds resonating throughout the small room, which only sends a jolt of pleasure down your spine.

Namjoon rests one of his knees on the bed, lowering himself onto your cunt. “Noona, you’re so wet. Fuck… I could just…” Namjoon finally pushes himself inside, “easily slide right in…” he lets out a deep exhale once he’s balls deep inside you.

You’re not doing any better than any of the men, thinking you could just orgasm from the fullness alone. And much to your surprise, you do. And both men keep their hands on you as you tremble like a falling leaf in autumn. “Holy shit!” Namjoon explains, staring at you with his mouth open. Once you stop quivering, they both ask you if you were still okay, and you take a breather before answering them, “I’m good. Just… nothing great ever came easy, right?”

You can practically feel Yoongi smiling from behind you. “That’s my girl.”

“Can I?” Namjoon asks, looking down to where your bodies are connected. You nod once, and Namjoon and your boyfriend start thrusting into you alternately. It doesn’t take long before you reach your climax again, with a ton of help from Namjoon who toys with your clit while snapping his hips into you.

They reach their orgasms not long afterwards. You let them ride out their highs until their cocks gradually turn softer inside you. Feeling spent and immensely satiated, you fall over to Yoongi’s side, falling asleep in mere seconds.

The two rappers collapse onto the bed, but sit abruptly sit upright when they hear a very familiar voice coming from Namjoon’s phone. “Fucking hell! That was the hottest shit ever!” Hoseok exclaims from the screen.

“You called him?!” Yoongi asks, hitting Namjoon’s forearm. “No! I- I must’ve contacted him while I put my phone there…crap.” Namjoon looked completely bewildered.

“Hyung, can I come to Amsterdam too? Please?!”

#bts smut #bangtanhq #btsguild #ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #ksmutclub #hyunglinenetwork #namjoon smut #yoongi smut #kim namjoon #min yoongi

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goldengoddess · 3 years

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CLOSED

1.5k mini celebration <3

hey loves !!!!!!! despite my inactiveness on here, 1.5k of yall still follow me & that’s nuts so :) mini celebration it is !! feel free to send me asks

i’ll end the celebration whenever im overwhelmed but please be patient with me as i work through requests <3

💌 ship requests - send me a little blurb about yourself and i’ll ship you with a character (specify if you want obx, grishaverse, or percy jackson)

🧸 recommendation - i’ll give you a book/song/movie/show recommendation for whatever you want <3

that’s all y’all :) thank u guys !!!!!

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outofsstyles · 4 years

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So much for summer love and saying “us”

a/n: hola! this is my very late fic for @helladirections’s Summer Feeling Challenge!! My prompts were beach + summer rain so yeah! If yall know me you know I could not have miss Taylor release a whole album and not get inspired by it (for this piece particularly it was the song August) so yup this is it. Anyway no more rambling, let me know what you think :)

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: angsty 🤭

Also this takes part after *this blurb* you don’t have to read it to understand but I do recommend it!!

Salt air, and the warm summer breeze messes with your hair. Your fingers get caught on the knots as you run your hands through it, feeling grains of sand lost in the strands, trying your best to untangle it. Even with your attempt to restrain your locks, some still manage to dance along with the wind, whipping in your face in the process, and taking your attention out of the open book resting on your thighs.

With a huff, you pull up your sunglasses from where it rests on your nose, holding your hair back as you use it in a last attempt to repress it. Looking up, now without the darkened vision due to the lenses, you realize the weather has toned down considerably. You pick your phone from where it rests under your legs, pressing the lock button just to check the time and you realize it’s been almost eight hours since everyone first strolled down from the house and settled on the mild pale sand.

Not long ago, the sun was shining proudly in the clear blue sky. It wasn’t as hot as it had been around lunchtime, when you went up to the house to fetch the sandwiches you and Mary made for everyone, almost burning your feet on the heated cobblestone in the process. Instead, it was like a warm hug, a nice contrast to your cooled skin from when you and the rest of the group went out for a swim.

Now, however, the sky was painted in a grayer tone. The sun hiding behind the clouds, no longer shimmering on your skin, reminding you of the rapid approach of summertime.

No else seems to notice (or care) about the change in the weather, really. Maya still reading her book on her beach towel set next to yours, lying on her belly as she flicks through the pages, humming along to the distant song blasting through the speaker. The boys were playing volleyball not too far from where you two lie -- well, at least the best they could with two people on each side. You look in their direction for the first time in the last hour, letting your urges win as your eyes set on the one person you’d been avoiding for the whole day.

The whole week, actually.

It’s been just about a week since your drunk confession to Harry. When you’d said you loved him with your whole chest right as he was about to press play on Coraline. You still cringe at the memory, especially when you recall his reaction, saying it back in the most calculated voice you’d ever seen him use -- you’ve decided he only said it for your sake, as to not make the moment more embarrassing than you’d already made it. He had promised to talk in the morning, but you feel like you can’t be blamed for running away as soon as your eyes fluttered open, and the events of the night prior hit you like a brick in the face.

You feel a pang of guilt about it, of course, for completely avoiding him like you are. Not like it’s a simple task. You live together after all, but you still managed to do it for a whole week. With your term being over, you fell into a routine of meeting with the girls for breakfast in the mornings and hanging around at their flat until the sun was setting and you had to catch the subway before it got too dark. As soon as you got home you’d lock yourself in your room and fall asleep to an episode of Stranger Things.

It was the easiest way, though. Limiting your interactions to a casual ‘Good morning’ or ‘There are some leftovers in the fridge’. No discussion of feelings. No explanation of your remorseful confession. No putting him in the place of having to reject you. No straining in your friendship.

You just pushed back the pain in your heart that came with having to look at his face twice a day and tried your best to ignore him to the best of your abilities.

That is until you couldn’t anymore.

This summer trip has been planned for months now. Since one of your mutual friends explained he’d have his family’s vacation home to himself all summer at a Christmas dinner and wanted to have everyone over for a week or two. It was exciting, of course, having a two weeks getaway with your group of friends seemed like the perfect idea to start your summer break on the right foot. What you’d never expect was that by the time the trip came along the last you’d want was to be in the same house as Harry without having anywhere else to run to.

Sighing, you gaze back at your forgotten book, your eyes sweeping over the words, not able to fully concentrate on them. And just as you give up, opening your mouth to announce you’re joining Mary in the house, a ball hits the spot just below your feet, making the sand around it jump and a small squeal to leave your lips.

You reach for it, leaning forward to hold it in your hands before looking up at the presence approaching you. It’s hard not to feel the jolt in your heartbeat as you meet his jade eyes, there’s almost a hesitance to his steps as he gets closer. You force a smile to tug on your lips as you hand him the ball, ignoring the electric hush that shoots down your spine when your fingers brush just slightly -- it’s the first time you’ve touched him in a week.

“Thanks.” It comes out rushed and you almost miss it. You think he’ll turn around and join the game again but he lingers for a moment, expecting you to say something.

You simply nod, not sure what to say, and that sends him back to where the rest of the boys are waiting for him. It’s hard not to stare as he walks away, the muscles of his broad back moving with him, skin tanned and a bit reddened around the shoulders. If things were normal, you’d have made him put on sunscreen after going for a swim, knowing how easily he gets sunburnt, and you’d pester him for not listening to you once he asked you to help apply the moisturizer that soothes the pain. You’d smooth your hands on his skin and spread kisses along his neck when he flinches as you rub a sore spot. You’d be mindful not to drag your nails through it once he had you under him, panting his name as his head rests between your thighs.

Looking back down at the cover of The Shining, you shake your head at yourself. Things are not normal, and they probably never will be again.

“I don’t even recognize you two anymore.” Maya’s voice breaks you from your thoughts. She closes her book, setting it down on her towel as she looks up at you from behind her sunglasses.

“What do you mean?” You run your eyes from the stare, choosing to gaze at the ocean instead, noting the way the waves are crashing closer to where you lay than they were in the morning.

“You know what I mean.” She shifts to lie on her back, propping herself up on her elbows. “Ignoring him like this is not the solution you know.”

You sigh, fidgeting with the loose strands at the hem of your towel. “I know.”

“You’re just hurting him.” She presses further, taking her sunglasses off and letting it fall on her stomach.

You look at her, eyes silently begging for her to drop this conversation but you know now that she’s brought it up she won’t let go easily. “Maya--”

“It’s the truth, and you have to hear it.” She sits up fully, turning to face you as she crosses her legs. “How long do you plan to keep going like this? You can’t just avoid him forever.”

“I-- I don’t know.” You say honestly, adjusting your glasses on top of your head nervously as you trow a quick look to his direction, making sure he’s still occupied with the game.

“Talk to him.”

You shake your head. “It’s not that simple.”

“Well, it’s what they say, life is not simple, darling.” She argues, “You’re hurting with this just as much as he is.”

Your shoulders drop, just barely, hating how well she knows you. “But not for the same reasons.”

“Really?” Maya’s voice pitches as she tilts her head. “How so?”

“He doesn’t see me like that.”

“You don’t know that.”

Looking up, you take a deep breath, feeling your throat tightens. “But I do know that, Maya.”

“You don’t.” She says softly, leaning forward to reach for your hand. “He loves you.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Don’t--”

“It’s true...” She squeezes your hand, shifting closer so she can rest her head on your knee, eyes searching for yours. “You’ve slept with him every single weekend, for... What? The past year?”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” You wipe away a stubborn tear that slides down your cheek. “You don’t love all the men you fuck.”

“Well I don’t live with them, thank god.” She tries to humor, her smile still tender as she rubs her thumb on your hand. “You two don’t just fuck, you know that, babe.”

You let out an exhale, chewing at your inner cheek as you let the sounds of the waves and the whistle of the wind fill the air between you two. She’s right, even if you hate to admit it, you can’t go like this for much longer. As easy as it is to ignore your feelings, you know they’re still there, and at some point, you’ll have to face them. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. But you can’t help but feel like any chance of fixing it has slipped through your fingers already. Your relationship with Harry - whatever that was - seems so distant now it’s like an image you can see but can’t quite reach. And it’s all your fault.

Maya sighs after a beat too long of silence, squeezing your hand, “Talk to him, please.”

“I--” you start, but you’re interrupted as thin raindrops begin drizzle from the sky.

It’s gentle, a summer rain clearing the warm air that hugs you with cold drops running down your skin. You and Maya jolt up from where you sit, quickly gathering your towels and patting them against your skin to get rid of some of the sand that stuck to it. Thankfully, Mary took the rest of your belongings with her when she went back to the house, so you don’t have to bother with them as you wrap your towel over your head, hugging your book close to your body so it doesn’t get ruined by the droplets of water. You can hear the commotion behind you from the boys as they interrupt the game, but you don’t turn around, only rushing towards the few steps that lead to the house in search of a cover.

The cobblestone is slippery as you jog in the patio barefooted, and you have to mindful as not to slip down and make matters worse to you with a broken back. But you manage to make it to the covered area without any accidents, thankfully, your feet only sliding slightly against the floor. The double glass doors that lead to the living room are slid open, and you can see Mary sitting on the L shaped couch inside, scrolling through her phone.

She peeks up at you when you approach the door, Maya coming not too far behind you. “Leave your dirty towels on the chairs outside, I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

You do as she says, hanging the towel on one of the rattan chairs arranged in a semi-circle next to you. Mary appears on the doorframe, leaning against it as she crosses her arms under her chest. She’s no longer dressed in her teal bikini set, one you’d complimented as soon as you saw her wearing it. Instead, she’s in some pink pajama shorts, hugging a cream ribbed cardigan close to her body as a rougher strand of wind rips around. Her hair is damp and pushed back behind her ears, you reckon in the short time she was alone in the house she must’ve taken a shower. Which is probably something you should do as well, you think.

Before you can walk inside, though, someone calls you out from behind you. Turning around, you see as the boys approach the house in much less of a hurry you had been in. You find the voice that screamed for you belongs to Declan as he’s leading the rest of them, a taunting smirk painting his face.

“Are you two made of sugar or what?” The words all but stumble out of his mouth and you have to suppress a giggle, he’s probably still drunk from the numerous White Claws they’d consumed throughout the day.

You shake your head. “I’m not trying to get a cold, thank you very much.”

“You’re no fun.” He stops just before entering the covered area, the rain still pouring on his body as he wiggles his hips. “C’mon loosen up a bit.”

You take a step towards him, opening your mouth to bite back but before any word can come out he’s reaching for your arm, drawing you to him. “Declan, no!” You giggle, trying to set yourself free from his grasp but he starts walking backward, pulling you with him. “Stop!”

His other hand that’s not wrapped on your arm is holding the Bluetooth speaker, waving it over his head as he presses his thumb on the volume button, turning it up. Starships starts blasting in the air, blending with the sound of raindrops hitting the ground. You can barely contain your laugh now, wondering how in hell this song even ended up on his playlist. Declan takes the opportunity to fully pull you out in the rain, hugging his arm on your waist and moving his hips along to the beat, bumping it against yours.

He points at Mary who’s still leaning against the door frame, watching the scene with an amused grin. “I know you love this one.”

“Not a chance Dec.” She calls back from where she stands, earning a loud ‘boo’ from the boy.

His arm doesn’t leave you side as he keeps moving along to the song, his voice slurring the lyrics so loudly next to you it almost swallows the sound coming from the speaker. The drops tickle down your skin, as the rain pours down your body, soaking you as if you’d just dove into the ocean. Your hair is weighing down on your head, and you reach up to push it out of your forehead as you try to follow Declan’s moves but he starts jumping around, making it harder for you.

You watch as Maya decides to join in, skipping to her boyfriend. Looking over your shoulder, you notice the rest of the boys haven’t gone inside and are still standing in the rain, much like Declan. You’re still laughing, almost incredulously, at the scene unfolding in front of you. Seemingly, it’s a clear consequence of the alcohol still very much present in their bloodstreams. But as a sober observer, you can’t help but giggle at the sight of four shirtless men barely keeping their balance as they dance along to Nicki Minaj.

Once the last chorus comes up, Declan unwraps his arm from your waist, reaching for your hand and without much notice spins you around. You stumble on your feet at the sudden move, trying your best to keep yourself from falling down. He doesn’t give you a second to recompose, repeating the move once more, but just as you’re turning around, he lets go of your hand. Without anything to hold on to and keep you steady, your feet slide on the wet stone.

There’s a brief sense of panic that strikes on your body as you feel yourself falling back. But before you can hit the ground, a set of arms catch you, holding on to you a bit awkwardly. You don’t need to look behind you to know who they belong to, the ink hugging his skin being all too familiar to you. Harry’s chest is damp against your back, and his arm is draped around your stomach, the contact of his skin against yours almost burning as you become aware of it.

With his help, you quickly stand back on your feet, untangling yourself from him as soon as you’re on your feet again. Turning around, you don’t miss the way his face is scrunched in a frown, a crease set between his brows and lips tugging downwards. It tugs at your heartstrings, so you give him a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” he nods.

For a moment you just look at him, lips parted, feeling as if you should say something else. It’s way too similar to the interaction you had only a few moments ago down at the beach. Or more like all the other interactions you had for the past week, really. His eyes are searching for yours, asking a thousand questions that are left unspoken. Lingering in the air between the two of you. His hand reaches to push back a damp lock of his hair stuck to his forehead, you note how his usually hazelnut strands have taken a darker shade. Much like his tattoos, standing out on his skin, glimmering as the raindrops dance freely down his body.

You know it’s been a beat too long of silence for it to start feel a bit awkward. And can’t help but set a silent prayer for something, anything, to take you out of this situation. You wonder if it would be too bad to just turn around now and pretend nothing happened, pondering if it’s the best decision to run away once again. Thankfully, as if on cue, a thunder roars in the sky, interrupting your thoughts as you squeal, jumping slightly, startled. A chorus of curses follow up from behind you, the rain starting to shower rougher from above.

“Okay that’s enough fun in the rain, everyone back inside now!” Mary screams from her spot, motioning with her hands for everyone to leave the outdoors.

“You must be really fun at parties, sweetheart!” Declan shouts back, you notice he’s managed to go all the way around the pool.

“Unless you’re feeling like getting hit by lightning from dancing next to a pool, I suggest you all come inside now.” She yells with a roll of her eyes, her voice taking a stern tone. “I’m not cleaning up anyone’s body for being stupid.”

He lets out a mischievous laugh, jumping his way around the edge. “Okay, mom.”

The towel scratches on your skin slightly, due to the grains of sand still stuck to it, as you try to dry yourself to the best of your ability. In the background, you can hear whines coming from Maya, complaining about not being able to have a bonfire tonight. You linger long enough to hear someone suggest a movie night instead. But as they begin the discussion of a film choice, you’re soon walking past the double glass door and into the house. Wanting to tuck yourself inside your room as soon as possible.

At this moment you give yourself a mental pat in the back for choosing the only room located downstairs. Regardless of it being the smallest, thus being the easiest one to claim, it was an easy choice for you. Not only you’re the furthest from the other rooms (and being on vacation with a couple, that’s a big pro) but you also have a bathroom all to yourself. Of course, it can barely fit two people inside if it came to it - not that it will - but you don’t mind the narrow space. On top of it all, you’re the closest to the ocean. Meaning that, when you’re drifting to sleep, it’s almost as if the waves are crashing at the end of your bed instead of the cool nightly sand, meters away from where you lay. So soothing you can easily ignore the creak of the wooden steps of the stairs right next to your door every time someone feels like coming down for a midnight snack.

The same creak that you hear as you pace your way on the light oak floor, careful to avoid the rugs that come on your way as to not soak their fabrics. And soon enough, you’re alone in the small space you get to call your own for the week. Away from any potential awkward interactions or silent pleas. The loudest noise filling the air being the raindrops knocking on your windows and your thoughts swallowing you whole.

You don’t rush on your shower. Letting the warm water run through your body in a smooth massage, allowing your muscles to relax as you breathe in the coconut-scented steam surrounding you. It does help to soothe you a little, but the weight in your chest still makes itself present.

Leaving the bathroom hugged in your comfiest set of pajamas, you make your way out of the room. As you enter the living area, you notice Mary sitting alone in the same spot she was on the couch, leaning back on the cushions and scrolling on her phone. Her eyes peak up once you approach her, letting the device fall to her chest when you come to a stop at the end of the couch.

“Everyone still in the shower?” You ask.

“Yup,” she nods, picking her phone back up. “Boys left a wreck for you in the kitchen, good luck with it.”

You huff, already regretting volunteering for the cleaning up duty today. Turning on your heals, you make your way towards the archway leading to the kitchen.

“We’re watching Mamma Mia later, by the way!” You hear Mary call out from behind you. “If you wanna make popcorn, I won’t be opposed.”

Throwing her a look over your shoulder, you shake your head as you look at her face, puppy eyes illuminated by the screen of her phone and lips pursed in a pleading pout. You disappear in the kitchen without giving her an answer -- even though you both know you’re also not opposed to the idea of it.

Analyzing the scene you’re met with, hands coming up to rest on your hips, you realize it’s not as bad as Mary made out to be. It’s messy, sure, but manageable. The cooler lies on top of the counter, a puddle pooling around it, and lid crooked on top as someone probably didn’t bother to close it properly. A couple of dishes from lunch still sit inside the sink, waiting to be washed, but not enough for them to pile on top of each other.

You start with them, humming along to a beat that’s been stuck in your head but you can’t quite put a finger on it as you rinse the plates until they’re shimmering clean, the white porcelain reflecting the ceiling light. It doesn’t take you long to get through all of them, lining them on the rack that sits right next to the sink. As soon as you’re finished, you turn your attention to the cooler, taking the lid off completely so you can check the inside. The ice that filled the box has completely melted, as you expected, pooling at the bottom of it. A couple of empty cans, amongst filled ones, float on top of the water.

Picking them up, you try to fit all of them in your hands as to make a single trip to the bin. When you manage to do it, you give one last check inside to see if you missed any. You look up from it at the same time that Harry steps through the archway into the kitchen space. The sudden appearance makes you stop midstep. He also seems to be taken back by your presence, stopping on his track as he looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. The pang in your heart doesn’t fail to make itself present once again.

He’s fiddling with a water bottle in his hands. Much like you, he’s probably already taken a shower, now dressed in a pair of ash grey sweats and a graphic white tee -- your favorite one, with a blue cartoonish drawing of a smiley bee in the middle and the words “Enjoy health, eat your honey” circling it. Your lips twitch in a smile as you take notice of it. It’s the shirt you love to steal from his closet in hopes of him not missing it, even though he does every time it happens, but still lets you do it cause he says it looks better on you anyway.

He realizes where your gaze has gone, peeking down at his clothes. The smile that takes over his lips, even if small, helps to soothe the knot in your stomach.

Clearing his throat, he breaks the silence this time, voice coming out a bit hesitant. “Hey.”

“Hi.” You nod.

There’s another beat of silence before both of you realize what you’d been doing before being interrupted by the other. And as if on cue, you start walking almost coordinated, crossing your paths as he makes his way to the sink and you reach the bin across the room. You can hear the tap opening and the water filling the inside of his bottle. As you turn to walk back to the counter you watch his broad back facing you, his hair curling at the base of his neck and you can tell he’s looking at the dish rack.

“Did you wash the dishes?” He says, peeking at you from over his shoulder. You meet his gaze, nodding once again as you watch him turn the tap off, turning around as he closes the cap of his bottle. “Shouldn’t have done it all by yourself, you know, could’ve helped you.”

“It was fine.” You reassure with a shrug, placing your hands on the cooler, looking for something to do as you feel him staring.

He stays quiet for a moment, but you can almost hear the wheels in his head turning above the light tapping sound of raindrops outside. You keep your eyes fixed on the cans as you begin taking them out of the cooler, even when you hear him call out your name, only offering a light hum to let him know you’re listening. “Do you, uhm--” He pauses, sighing as you keep yourself focused on the task in hand. “Do you think we can talk?”

You take a sharp inhale, coughing slightly to cover it up as you move the lid to close the container. Chewing on your lip, you keep your eyes trained on your hands as you rest them on the counter, not ready to face what you’ve been so desperately pushing back. Still, you remember what Maya said to you earlier, and you know you can’t keep running away. “Sure.”

“Love,” his voice comes out pained, tightening a lump that’s forming on your throat. “Can you at least look at me?”

You meet his gaze, blinking away the tears that threaten to spill down your cheeks as you meet his eyes. “Harry--”

He shakes his head slightly, shoulder dropping. “‘S killing me.”

A mesh of voices interrupts your conversation before you can even process what he just told you. You can tell by the sounds of the steps along with the creak of the wooden floor that they’re coming down the stairs. Turning your head, you try to listen closely to foresee if they’re about to enter the kitchen or not. They get louder as they approach, but you can tell they stopped at the living room when Mary’s voice joins the conversation. Harry’s watching you, but the crease settled between his brows tells you he’s also paying attention to the chatter happening outside.

“Maybe we should talk after the movie.” You say after a moment of trying to figure out the loud chatter in the next room.

“Can you meet me in my room?”

“Maybe at mine?” You suggest. “It’s just more… secluded from the rest, I guess.”

“Okay.” He nods. “After the movie, then.”

The rest of the night blends together as a bit of a blur if you’re honest. And not due to the poorly made strawberry cocktail you have in your hands -- considering you haven’t had more than a sip off of it, and, thankfully, everyone else seems to be too buzzed to notice your untouched cup. No, it’s all thanks to the anxious feeling that has been eating you from the inside out since your brief conversation with Harry. For what seems to be the hundredth time in the past hours you feel your eyes wandering back to him. He’s fiddling with his filled drink, leg bouncing nervously as he leans back on his seat. As if he can feel your eyes set on him, he glances up, meeting your gaze with a raise of his brows.

It’s a simple gesture but you understand the silent question that comes with it, wondering when you’ll be able to sneak out to your room. You had thought that throughout the movie the rest of them would slowly get knocked out, feeling the long day under the sunlight weight on their eyelids, allowing you to settle back in your room without causing any commotion. Surely, Mary was snoring quietly next to you within the first chorus of Honey Honey. But seems like you underestimated everyone else’s capacities of staying awake, for as soon as the end credits were scrolling up on the screen, Declan was up on his feet to suggest a cocktail night.

So here you are, a wink past midnight, watching your friends stumble on their feet at, yet another, Just Dance battle, barely able to understand a single word slurring drunkenly out of their mouths.

You hold Harry’s gaze for a moment, pursing your lips as you ponder how to slip out for the night. Mary’s still sitting next to you, her body relaxed so deep into the cushions it’s like she’s swallowed by it. Her head has fallen back, chest moving along lazily with her breaths, if it wasn’t for the occasional blinks, you would’ve assumed she’d fallen asleep once again. You lean forward, setting your filled glass on the mahogany center table before turning back to her.

“Tired?” You ask.

Her head falls heavy on her shoulder as she looks at you, a small smile tucking on her lips when she nods. “If they decide to take out UNO, I swear to god…”

“I don’t think they ever sleep if I’m honest.” You chuckle just as the last few chords of Sugar come to an end. The sound of the boys’ laughs takes over the brief silence that set in the room, their chatter mixing with the sounds of the wind shaking the glass on the now-closed doors that lead outside. Shifting closer to your friend, you lower your voice just enough for her to hear it, “Feel like now’s the best chance to call it a night.”

“You know,” she sighs. “That was probably the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

You smile, sparing one last look to Harry, only to find him still watching you. Giving him a small nod, as to let him know your intentions, you scoop to the edge of the couch, standing up with a big stretch.”Okay, guys think my bed’s calling me.”

“What?” Maya’s voice yelps on top of the chorus of protests. “But I was about to get my Twister mat!”

“Some of us need to sleep.” Mary’s voice speaks up as she shifts to get up from her cozy spot, her movements much more lethargic than yours. “Shocker, I know.”

You hear echoes of objections and teasing mumbles but don’t really register their words, only sparing a final wave to the group before making your way towards your room. You make a quick stop at the bottom of the staircase, binding Mary a goodnight and watching her for a moment as she ascends the steps, dragging her feet lazily on the groaning wood. Once you finally make it to your door, it takes everything in you not to glance over your shoulder. The back of the chair he’s sitting is facing you, but you wonder if your eyes will meet once again. If he’s searching for yours as desperately as your searching for his.

You don’t look, though. Closing the door behind you as fast as you open it. As if the barrier between you two will somehow help dull the aching in your chest that’s now growing stronger with the realization that you have nowhere to hide from your feelings anymore. Taking deep breaths, you back away until the back of your thighs meet the smooth fabric of the blue comforter hugging your mattress, crossing your legs as you sit back on it.

The room is dark, as you didn’t bother turning on the lights when you first walked in, the only illumination coming from outside, due to your curtains still being pushed open. Thankfully, the rain from earlier is long gone, clearing the night sky so the moon can shine proudly and fully amongst the sea of stars dotted around it. It gives the space a silver glow, giving you an odd sense of calmness as you look out the big window across the bed. The whispers of the wind are still loud against the tree branches, as well as the waves crashing angrily at the shore. Still, the sounds of nature do nothing to quiet down the laughs that come from the other side of the door, even if faint, they’re still loud, and it snaps your attention back to the reason why there’s an anxious twist set in your stomach.

It feels like hours have passed of you sitting alone, chewing at the nail on your thumb, feeling your thoughts drowning you. Every so often your eyes dart to the door, waiting for a creak of steps or a soft knock. But every time you’re met with silence, the door still closed, almost mocking your nervousness. You wonder if he’s given up, you know he hasn’t forgotten about it, there’s no way he would, but maybe he just realized there’s no reason on fighting for whatever’s left between you two. Or maybe he’s just giving you a taste of your own medicine. Letting you sink in the silence and doubt until it floods every cell of your body. Or maybe he’s just trying to find the words to reject y--

The moment you fall back to your cushions, the lump in your throat becoming suffocating at this point, a sound you’ve been waiting for breaks you out of your mind: a quick knock followed by the door opening. The lights of the hallway creep in the room along with Harry, as he pokes his head in.

“Come in.” You clear your throat when your voice comes out in a whisper. Watching as he opens the door wider, just enough to fit the rest of his body, shutting it behind him with a click. You shift a bit, motioning to the spot on the bed in front of you as you try to untie the knot that tightens in your chest.

“Sorry it took me so long,” He sits in front of you. “They really insisted on playing a round of that fucking game.”

“It’s fine.” You give him a weak chuckle. “I was just…” You trail off, shrugging as your eyes set on your lap. “I don’t know, thinking, I guess?”

He nods. “Yeah, I was thinking, too.”

“So…”

“So,” You can feel his eyes searching for yours, so you glance up. There’s a crease set between his brows, his whole body tensed as he chews on his bottom lip. “How do we even start this?”

“I don’t know.” You answer truthfully, trying to find the words to explain everything that’s been flowing in your mind for the last week. But before anything, you know you owe him an apology, so you sigh, the words slipping out of your mouth shakier than you’d intended. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to apologize.” He says in a blink, shaking his head softly. His voice is low, but tender, “I want to understand what happened.”

“I--” The crack in your voice makes you exhale in frustration, blinking rapidly as you look up at the ceiling, focusing on the pattern of shadows cast due to the moonlight slipping through the tree branches outside. You don’t want to cry. “I don’t even know, just…” Taking a deep breath you meet his eyes again, knowing there’s no reason to beat around the bushes anymore. “That night, I was so embarrassed.”

“Why?”

“Cause I was drunk and--” You rub your hands over your face, wandering your eyes anywhere but on him. No need to beat around the bushes, you think again, you should just go straight to the point. “And I had a stupid breakdown after kissing someone else.” “

“It wasn’t stupid, lo--” He cuts himself off, and you’re sure if it wasn’t for the loud thumping of the wind he could hear the crack of your heart from where he sits. “Your feelings aren’t stupid.” You watch as he looks down at his lap, fingers fidgeting with the string of his sweats as he shuts his eyes tight. “But you didn’t have to shut me off.”

The emotion behind his words is so clear, even with the darkness surrounding you, that you can’t help but scoop closer to him, hesitantly reaching your hand to rest on his shoulder. “I know.”

“Do you know how much it killed me to have you not even look at my face?” He looks up again, his waterline glossy, pooling with tears, only twisting the knot that’s settled in your chest. When he speaks again, it’s just above a whisper, “It’s like I lost you.”

You’re not sure why is it that as soon as the words leave his mouth you recoil from him. His declaration feeling nearly unfair to you, only serving as for increasing your frustration at the whole situation in hand. So you can’t help as to increase your voice slightly, a pinch of anger hidden behind it. “Well I’m not--” You stop yourself as it comes out louder than you’d intended, the annoyance quickly dissolving into pure sadness as you register what you’re about to say. “I wasn’t yours for you to lose, Harry.”

The breath he takes is audible, your words hitting him like a brick. He nods, more to himself than to you, shrugging slightly as he looks dows at the wrinkles on the comforter, the empty space between the two of you. “Maybe I want you to.”

You blink at him, lips parting as it takes you a second to understand what he just said. “What?”

“You didn’t even give me a chance.”

“I’m sorry.” You can’t help but repeat yourself, unable to control the tear that trickles down your cheek. Sniffling, you rub it out, “I was just…”

“Scared?” He finishes as you trail off, now it’s his turn to shift closer to you, hand cupping your cheek as he caresses another tear that trails down your skin.

“Yeah.”

“I’m scared too, baby.” The petname slips off his tongue, sending a spark of electricity down your spine and tugging a smile on your lips. You don’t hold back anymore, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and tucking your head at the base of his neck. Breathing in, the familiar scent of his shampoo mixes with the faint whiff of his cologne, and even a hint of sunscreen. It hits you all at once, how much you missed the closeness to him, the feeling of his arms wrapped around your middle, and the softness of his lips pressed on the side of your head. His voice is muffled by your hair, “Hate that we’re like this.”

“I hate it too.” You nod against his neck, a fresh wave of tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. “I didn’t mean to, H.”

“Shh, I know.” His hand comes up to massage your hair, the action so loving your hands grab at his shirt trying to pull him even closer. “We can fix this, though, okay? Me and you?”

“Yes.”

“No running away anymore.”

“I promise.” You fall silent for a moment, simply enjoying each other’s embrace. When you feel him press another kiss at the side of your head, you pull away, just enough to lock your eyes on his. “Harry?”

“Yes, love?”

“Can you stay tonight?”

“Course.” He brushes a strand of hair out of your face. “Can stay every night you want me to.”

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