#since it’s left ambiguous we don’t really know what happened but if she died then she’s dead and the events aren’t going to haunt her

[curiousb]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Thanks for tagging me, @vimpse and @simsdada!

1. are you named after anyone?

Yes-ish? My first name is a feminised form of my father’s name, and also my maternal grandmother's middle name. Sadly, she died long before I was born, when my mother was only three years old, so I’m quite glad that her name lives on with me. My royalist mother also had a thing about a minor English princess, so I have her name as my middle name.

2. when was the last time you cried?

I honestly don’t remember - probably a few months ago. There has to be something very, very wrong for me to cry. It’s something I avoid doing, as I don’t like to lose control of my emotions.

3. do you have kids?

No, as a conscious choice. I’m really not cut out to be a parent, but I’ve never actually wanted to become one anyway, so it’s all worked out fine!

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

I try not to, as I think it can be cruel, but it depends on the circumstances!

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

Although I didn’t know this until quite recently, I have dyspraxia. So, sport and I have never been on good terms! Yes, I was always that kid - the one who was chosen last for teams at school. I’ve also always despised exercise simply for the sake of it. But, seven years ago I randomly took up Shotokan Karate - my husband had taken it up a couple of years before, and it was the first physical activity that had ever looked like fun to me! This year, I was finally awarded my black belt (1st Dan). Thanks to my dyspraxia, and pesky osteoarthritis, it’s taken me nearly twice as long as anyone else to get to this point, but I absolutely love it - it’s the perfect blend of mental and physical challenge - and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s been fantastic for my balance, coordination, strength, agility, self-confidence and mental health. I’m now working towards being awarded 2nd Dan, in a couple of years hopefully. :)

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

I found out only a few years ago, as an adult, that I’m autistic. But, I think the thing I’ve always picked up on when meeting someone new - even before I was consciously aware of this - is whether they are also possibly neurodivergent, and hence whether we have an immediate connection. I now realise that nearly all my friends have also been neurodivergent in some way (also autistic, ADHD, dyscalculia), and that the friendships naturally sprang from an instinctive understanding, thanks to similarities in our way of perceiving and processing the world.

7. scary movies or happy endings?

Can I say neither? I have a ridiculously overactive imagination, and although I absolutely do not believe in the supernatural, scary films play on my mind literally forever. And I’m simply unmoved by clichéd happy endings. I prefer films that make me think or imagine, and I’m quite partial to ambiguous endings, where I’m left to decide for myself what has actually happened, or what might happen next; ‘Inception’ is one of my favourite films. :)

I also love plain old sci-fi, with any kind of ending!

8. any special talents?

I’m a master at packing stuff into spaces in the most efficient way possible. Not very exciting perhaps, but useful.

I’m also very good at inductive reasoning. (Which is generally what Sherlock Holmes uses, not deduction.)

9. where were you born?

In the UK. Which is sadly just one big embarrassment these days.

10. what are your hobbies?

Ever since I first laid my hands on a computer, my first love has been video gaming. The Sims of course (1 and 2 - couldn’t get into 3 and haven’t bothered with 4), which I always come back to, but also various strategy games, such as the Civilization series. Also, choral/ensemble singing and genealogy. Oh, and my beloved karate of course!

11. do you have any pets?

No, I can barely look after myself, let alone be responsible for another lifeform too! In an ideal world, I’d have guinea pigs (which I had as a child and just adore, as they are the sweetest creatures imaginable), or perhaps rats.

12. how tall are you?

5′ 4.5″

13. fave subject in school?

Biology. I was born to be a scientist, and have always found the phenomenon of life to be endlessly fascinating.

14. dream job?

Once I would have said scientist - which I am now - but interesting though it can be, there’s also a lot of stress. I think that now, I’d rather be a self-employed professional genealogist. I’m considering trying to make the switch.

15. eye colour?

Grey-green. I didn’t used to like the colour, but I’ve grown to appreciate it more now, as it’s a little unusual.

I’m just going to tag a few random people, who I don’t think have played along yet, although my memory is shocking so forgive me if I’m wrong about that! As always, please also feel free to ignore: @tvickiesims, @roguebotanist, @clouseplayssims, @fwaysims, @eulaliasims, @plumbtales, @katatty, @moocha-muses, @esotheria-sims, @mypurpleriver, @balkopat, @sushigal007, @frauhupfner, @pforestsims, @beikonsims.

#non-sims #i got tagged!

[electronickingdomfox]

Spock getting out of “Pon farr”: some theories

I know this is a plot point that many people who watched “Amok Time” have wondered about: why is Spock alive by the end of the episode, if he never mated with T’Pring? The rules were simple: Vulcans going through pon farr only have two options, mate or die. Yet Spock does neither. Why?

Apparently, this was something that bugged the Star Trek team as well, upon reading Sturgeon’s script. In a letter to the script writer, Gene L. Coon commented:

“...since we have established that Spock either gets to Vulcan within eight days or dies, why doesn’t he do so when he doesn’t get married or laid? We must establish a sound explanation and have it explained or a lot of people will be unhappy with us...” (http://www.thesearethevoyagesbooks.com/the-writing-of-ldquoamok-timerdquo.html)

Now, this is probably in reference to an earlier version of the script, where the question was left completely unanswered. Yet, even in the final version, the reasons are still very ambiguous, and far from being a “sound explanation”. There’s only Spock’s uncertain lines: 

“It must have been the combat. When I thought I had killed the captain, I found I had lost all interest in T'Pring. The madness was gone.”

For someone who had been requested to be more explicit, Sturgeon was definitely reluctant to give a clear cut answer. It must have been the combat... But what about it? The combat itself? Or something that happened during the combat?

There’s been a lot of thorough essays that analyze this particular episode. I’ve read some of them, in particular:

-Thoughts on Amok Time, by Hypatia Kosh -A Logical Look at Amok Time, by K’sal -Meta: Amok Time, by spookyfbi

At this point, I don’t hope to present any original ideas for the subject. But I wanted to go through the different theories, and explain why I think they work or don’t. As well as show my own personal view. And in the process, maybe I’ll point out some new detail that wasn’t covered yet.

In general, there are two types of theories: Spock gets out of pon farr without having sex, or Spock does indeed have sex.

Note: Wall of text ahead. And given the subject matter, expect some adult/disturbing talk.

The “No sex” theories

The most common belief is that Spock snaps out of pon farr because of the shock of seeing Kirk (apparently) dead. The horror of having killed his friend is so great, it overrides even his biological impulses, so he loses all interest in mating. This theory works well for many people, whether they want to see Kirk and Spock’s relationship as romantic or as deep friendship. It’s also seemingly supported by the dialogue. And it’s a suitably “decent” explanation for a general audience.

However, I find several problems with this idea. For starters, Spock doesn’t really say that Kirk’s death is the reason why he lost all interest in T’Pring. He simply points out that both things (finding out Kirk was dead, and losing interest in mating) happened around the same time. In fact, his belief that it must have been the combat (something that happened during the fight, not Kirk’s death) contradicts it.

Apart from this, pon farr was clearly established as a mate or die situation. Not as a mate, or receive a shock, or die situation. If such a great shock was enough to snap a Vulcan out of pon farr, then this must have been something extraordinary, that neither Spock (nor Vulcans in general) must know about. But then... why is nobody surprised (apart from McCoy)? T’Pau wondered why Spock could talk in the middle of plak tow. Yet seeing him rejecting T’Pring, his mind recovered, doesn’t surprise her at all. Neither does it surprise T’Pring for that matter. On the contrary, she had considered this outcome beforehand:

If you were victor you would free me because I had dared to challenge, and again I would have Stonn.

Now, I don’t see any feasible situation in which a Vulcan, still going through such violent impulses, could ever reject his mate, challenge or not challenge. If pon farr made Spock crazy enough to divert the ship, disobey orders and fight his captain, it should make him crazy enough to accept T’Pring as his prize, despite everything. Spock being rational, and rejecting T’Pring, only makes sense under the assumption that he’s no longer in pon farr.

There’s a variation on this theory I have found sometimes. The idea that Spock’s telepathic bond with T’Pring transfers to Kirk during the fight. So when he thinks Kirk’s dead, the bond is broken, and therefore pon farr is over. Anyway, I don’t find anything in the text or subtext to support this idea. And assuming that such a thing as transferring a bond was even possible, why would it transfer to Kirk precisely during a fight? Why not in one of the many times they saved each other’s lives, or a time of great emotional closeness?

To summarize, the main problem I see with this is the contradiction it poses: either a “strong shock” is a well-known way out of pon farr (in which case, why it wasn’t even mentioned before?), or it’s something extraordinary (and then, why nobody was surprised?).

The “Sex” theories

Now, I personally think these theories make more sense. Pon farr is about mating or dying. Spock mates, so he doesn’t die. Simple. However, it’s not T’Pring with whom he has sex. That’s certain. Then who, and how?

The logical answer is Kirk. But when exactly? Some people believe Spock is still in pon farr AFTER the fight, and he satisfies it with Kirk once they reunite in the Enterprise. However, this is in direct contradiction with everything we see and we’re told. Spock has clearly regained his senses after the fight (”the madness was gone”), so whether he sexes Kirk or not in the ship doesn’t help to explain anything.

In addition to this, spookyfbi and K’sal (in the essays I linked above), theorize that Spock bringing Kirk and McCoy to the ceremony was a fallback plan for him. That if things went awry with T’Pring, those two could be his replacement lovers (in particular Kirk). This would be the meaning behind the groom’s right to bring his “friends”. These friends were thus a direct equivalent to Stonn. Of course, in this situation, the sensible thing would be to forget the marriage, and simply let everyone go away with their respective lovers. But Kirk wasn’t aware of this arrangement, and Spock couldn’t explain it to him, so he accepted the challenge, and then it was too late.

This is a valid interpretation and there’s nothing wrong about it. Though for my part, I don’t like reading so much into something that’s rather simple. The friends that the groom brings to the ceremony are simply that: friends.  Apparently, in the original script these friends were called lak noy, which translates as “best man”, so I don’t see a reason to think of them as more than that.

Finally, there’s a further theory (and it’s the one I agree the most, so I’ll dwell a bit on it). It’s the idea that Spock had sex with Kirk during the fight, right in front of the camera. Of course, “sex” in a highly stylized, symbolical way, that would be acceptable for television. Sex coded, disguised as combat. But not literal sex. This is pretty much Hypatia’s take on her essay above. And it addresses the issue from the writer’s perspective (which is a bonus point), since Sturgeon had written about erotic asphyxiation, and was interested in the link between sex and violence.

There’s also some interesting things to say about the scenography in relation to this. Beginning with Kirk’s “all-too-convenient” ripped shirt. Of course, Kirk rips his shirt A LOT through the series. But in this occasion, the opening brings the attention to his nipples, and ONLY to that.  Other times, he ripped his shirt in a more natural way while fighting. Or he was simply shirtless, which gives a more athletic feel. This time, his half-nakedness has a distinct, erotic appearance.

It’s also noteworthy that the combat, which was supposed to be “to the death”, was halted for no reason by T’Pau, just to replace the lirpa (a better weapon to fight to the death) with the much less dangerous ahn-woon. Was this made just to allow for close combat, so the sex metaphor could take place? Specially interesting is the fact that, in the original script, anh-woon simply meant “unarmed combat” (see the book “The Star trek Compendium” by Allan Asherman). So originally, they removed their weapons altogether! I suppose, the original fight also involved strangling, so when they decided the ahn-woon would be a type of weapon, they chose one which could be used that way. But I don’t know that for sure.

Now, if one takes a look at the sequence of the combat, doesn’t it look as the sequence for a sex scene? (of course, I mean the following in a symbolic way, not that any of this is literally happening). Spock catches his mate:

The foreplay:

Spock penetrates Kirk:

Here Kirk lifts his leg around Spock in a deliberate way, that hardly makes sense in the context of combat:

Kirk orgasms:

Kirk goes limp:

Spock snaps out of pon farr (notice that, at this point, McCoy hasn’t declared Kirk dead yet, so Spock couldn’t be certain if he was dead or just unconscious):

The unfortunate consequences of all this, is that Spock, in a sense, forced himself upon Kirk. It’s a dark take on the issue, I know. And probably, not many people like to see it that way.

And it’s also kind of heartbreaking to see Kirk later, all welcoming, all forgiving of Spock, all smiles. Even knowing that he wasn’t in his right mind at the time, it would still be hard to face someone so deeply loved as Spock, after he tried to kill him. Compare this situation with Rand’s in “The Enemy Within”. Even after knowing that the Kirk who had attacked her was an impostor, she still had trouble looking at the good Kirk in the eye. And yet Kirk doesn’t hold anything against Spock. They’re simply infinitely happy to see each other alive. But of course, this wouldn’t be the last time Kirk risked his career, his body and his life to save Spock.

As Roddenberry himself put it in the first movie’s novel:

...theirs had been the touching of two minds which the old poets of Spock’s home planet had proclaimed as superior even to the wild physical love which affected Vulcans every seventh year during pon farr.

#star trek #star trek tos #meta #k/s #pon farr #serious post #kirk #spock #spirk #amok time

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Right, well, that sure was an episode of Casualty tonight. I’m not really sure what to make of it yet, but I can say one thing for certain - I am RELIEVED Faith didn’t make an appearance (though sadly we have to sit through her again next week).

I’ll start my review with this: what the fuck was up with that “Naylor Award” shit? Casualty, I am begging you to please just stop mentioning Jac. Stop rubbing salt in the wound of how poorly Rosie Marcel was treated. The first time they had Fletch spouting nonsense about how he was “as close [to Jac] as she’d let anyone get” (he was not - that was Sacha, with Elliot as a very close second, then a long list of people like Connie, Joseph, Michael, Henrik, etc. Fletch is probably like, at the bottom of the “how close was this person to Jac” tier ranking, lmao.), and now Jac’s name is invoked completely unnecessarily in what masquerades as a “tribute” to Holby and to Jac’s character specifically, but actually just feels more like an insult to her than anything. Especially given that Casualty could easily have just ignored this whole fiasco and brought Jac in, since the two shows don’t share an exact canon - as long as Casualty didn’t acknowledge Jac’s death, there was no reason not to have her cross over, nothing preventing it in Casualty canon.

Or they could’ve just ignored it full stop. Connie’s not there anymore. If she were, they’d have to pick one or the other. But she’s not, so they literally could’ve just pretended the whole thing never happened.

For fuck’s sake, they ignored multiple serial killers roaming the hospital (Gaskell and Cameron - and remember, Ethan had literally tried to get involved in Gaskell’s trial!). Nearly a year and a half on, they still haven’t acknowledged the literal fucking suicide of Marty’s cousin. A cousin we KNOW he was close to. Making Jac’s death Casualty canon just feels like an absolute slap in the face to Rosie Marcel. Poor woman, she literally wanted to come over to Casualty and instead we get... this.

They could’ve named the award anything. It could’ve even been a reference to the show’s own history, they could’ve named it after a character who died before.

I agree with Dylan - Jac would’ve HATED this.

Also, why are we getting all these callbacks to Holby, but still no acknowledgement of the fact that Henrik left the hospital? They can’t leave the CEO’s identity ambiguous and pander to the “Henrik’s the perfect CEO and no one other than him is ever allowed to have the job!!” viewpoint forever.

Anyway, I have been instantly reminded of how much I adore Stevie Nash tonight. People can go “oh she’s the new Jac” all they like but I still don’t see many similarities between them apart from like, generic “ice queen” tropes that could be applied to Henrik or Connie or even Dylan too. Out of the Bi Ice Queen Trio of Connie, Jac, and Henrik, I’d say Stevie’s most similar to Henrik. In general if I were to compare her to a Holby character, she reminds me strongly of John Gaskell. Stevie really shows just what a brilliant character John could’ve been if he had been well-written.

So yeah, maybe I’m biased because watching Stevie is like having a younger, female, better-written version of John (and sometimes, like having a younger, female, non-misogynist version of Henrik). But nonetheless, I adore her.

The Dylan/Stevie dynamic is very interesting to me. They really do have strong “early-days Henrik and Jac” vibes, and that was really proved by their confrontation in Dylan’s office. Because, like, Dylan would absolutely have done the same as Stevie if he’d been in her position. I have no doubt he would. But because their relationship is already so fraught and so full of friction, we end up with arguments like this where he’s criticising her for what he would’ve unquestionably considered the right decision.

I’m waiting for Dylan and Stevie to get their “So you think we’re alike?”/“[...] Imagine working together. We’d make quite the team.” “Which is precisely why we shouldn’t. It’d be like staring into the abyss.” moment. I hope they do - they deserve a scene like that.

Poor Rash. Just... poor Rash. Jeez. The scene where the racist man choked him was very hard to watch.

Elsewhere in Rash’s life, though, his relationship with Paige is just never going to work, is it? I think that became very clear tonight. I shipped them at the start but I think this latest episode has shown they’re not very compatible.

Speaking of Paige, I did love the top she wore tonight. The black one with all the little stars or whatever they were. It was gorgeous. I’d wear that.

Her responses to the case with the man with HIV and his wife were a bit odd, but I guess she’s meant to be projecting her own feelings about having the BRCA gene? That would make sense. I do think her storyline has been done fairly well so far. At least it is a storyline, unlike Max’s 2-episode BRCA gene story on Holby.

In other news, I was glad the dead colleague mentioned in the spoilers turned out to just be someone the writers made up instead of an old character being killed offscreen. I wasn’t really sure what the point of that part of the episode was, but looking at the spoilers for next week, it seems to be leading to some sort of mid-life crisis or breakdown for Jan? That could be interesting. Di Botcher is one of the best actresses the show’s got, I’m interested in any storyline that lets them use her more.

#BBC Casualty #Casualty spoilers #tw;suicide mention

[yesterdanereviews]

6 Hours to Live (1932)

Film review #521

Director:

SYNOPSIS: World diplomats have convened at a special assembly to agree on a new global trade deal that requires unanimous approval from all countries. The only country that is opposed to it is Silveria, whose representative Paul Onslow believes it is only his country which will suffer form it. When Paul is murdered, Professor Otto Bauer uses his experimental invention to bring him back to life, so Paul can identify his murderer and be present at the final vote of the trade deal. However, the experiment  only allows him to live six more hours, so he must wrap up all his business in that time...

 THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: 6 Hours to Live is a 1932 drama/sci-fi film, based on the story “Auf weidersehen” by Morton Barteaux. The film centres around a meeting of representatives from every country in the world, as they have convened to agree on a new global trade deal. The deal requires unanimous approval from every country, and the only country refusing to sign is Silveria, represented by Captain Paul Onslow, who believes the deal is bad for his country. This, naturally, has made him many enemies, and an attempt on his life is made after he leaves the conference. While he is in hiding, he realises he is in love with Baroness Valerie von Sturm, who his friend Karl Kranz is in love with, setting up a love triangle of sorts. Unfortunately, Onslow is killed in another attempt on his life, but Professor Otto Bauer’s latest experiment is able to bring him back to life. Unfortunately, it can only do so once for six hours, so Onslow has to find his murderer, deal with his affairs, and go to vote on the trade deal all before he dies for the second and final time. The story is primarily a drama; partly political, partly romance, and as such, there is a lot of dialogue to get through, and many of the scenes are just talking. A lot seems to happen to Onslow in one day, with him realising he is love, having two attempts on his life, and having to vote on this trade deal: with all these things going on, you’d think the film would be packed full of things, but as mentioned, the talking really takes over the majority of the scenes. I feel like more could have been done to set the scene of the film: the politics of this trade deal are left really unexplored, and we don’t know the details, and we are left to experience what feels like an entire relationship between Onslow and the Baroness in the span of one day. It’s easy to pick up and understand, but some exposition would have helped, like why the fictional country of Silveria is the only country in the world not to benefit from this supposed deal, and why he is holding out against it; since the representative who would fill in for him if he was absent also seems to want to vote for it. Him being against everyone else almost makes him seem like a villain, as we have no real knowledge of his motivations, over than “love of his country.” which could mean anything.

So when Onslow is brought back to life for six hours, it makes things a bit more interesting: he has to confront his murderer, vote against the treaty, and deal with his personal affairs all before his time runs out. Given only that a few people know of what has happened, he is able to mostly carry on like nothing has happened, and uses that to end his relationship with the Baroness and to force her to move on, as she is unaware that he is about to die (again), and that will be easier for her to accept. While you might think that returning from the dead would be a shocking and harrowing experience knowing you’re about to die again, Onslow is very serene and tranquil about the whole thing, and his “experience” of death has left him unafraid of what is to come. Instead of hurrying about, he revisits some people he met during the day, to comfort them and aid their troubles. He becomes almost an angelic figure, and I think the leaving of many things ambiguous is intentional to give it that mysterious feel and to keep the mystery of death intact. It almost feels like Onslow is meant to have a change of character when he was revived into this caring, empathic individual, but his personality was more or less like that to begin with, which doesn’t have the impact of something like Ebenzer Scrooge’s change of heart in “A Christmas Carol.” while the premise is interesting, it eventually falls into a very typical message of “science not going too far, and that some things should be left to God.” which crops up a lot in films of this era. Also, the whole reveal of the murderer at the end is anticlimactic, as it turns out to be someone who was only briefly seen at the start of the film, and plays no part whatsoever in anything. The scene where Onslow visits a prostitute to comfort her is a good one with some uplifting and genuine dialogue, but on the whole it is a very mixed bag.

Overall, 6 Hours to Live has an interesting premise, and provides some dramatic scenes, but some parts (particularly the romance and the dichotomy of science vs God) feels very much of it’s time. The acting carries the drama very well for the most part, but being very dialogue-heavy, it is not going to appeal to everyone. there’s definitely areas to improve in the film, but it still has some good points that keep the film together.

#movie #movie review #6 hours to live #sci-fi #film #film review #1932 film

[ghostdrinkssoup]

hi! i’m kinda new to hannibal despite it being on my watchlist for six years sdfjsjhd. i still have three eps left till the end of the series and even though i already know what happens, i wanted to ask you - what did you feel when you watched the finale for the first time? were you surprised??

ps. i think your blog is really neat :)

hello and thank you !! dw I’m still pretty new to hannibal too, I first watched it in january I believe? but I’d been meaning to for AGES I’m such a fan of gothic horror + my film lecturer at uni liked a short I made in class (had to film a stalking scene using horror elements) and he was like “you should watch more horror stuff, it might help” and boom, here I am :D

anyway to answer your question: I really love twotl and how s3 was written in general !! the build up felt super solid and natural to me because will and hannibal’s arcs were super consistent throughout, especially will’s tbh. I talked to a friend of mine irl about it and she wasn’t a fan of his corruption, but personally I was so glad they went there with his character. his morality was the focal point of the whole show, and has been since the beginning, and as much as the external plot goal of catching the minnesota shrike, and then eventually the copycat killer/the chesapeake ripper, is what drives the story, the internal plot question (and interwoven character arc) is really an exploration of the nature of will’s empathy and ability to connect with psychopaths, and how that affects his identity and sense of self. so even though he eventually catches hannibal, s3b works because the question the story raised in s1 still hasn’t been answered. at first I was worried imprisoning hannibal was going to be a bad move story-wise because it resolves the plot goal before wrapping up the character arc, but was pleasantly surprised with how well it all worked. I think it has to do with the choice to have hannibal turn himself in rather than have will capture him directly, because that way they’re still in some sort of power struggle (“hannibal has agency in the world” and all that)

I think it’s why twotl hits so hard, because after all this time, and after all the ways these two have tried to hurt each other and free themselves of the other’s influence, whether it be because of hatred, or worse, because of love, they’re unable to end the conflict. and the audience knows that because we see them try over and over, and it just doesn’t work. in the end, a mutual surrendering to whatever they’re becoming seems to be the only solution. and it’s not even advantageous for either of them, like will tells bedelia that breaking hannibal out of prison isn’t some attempt to manipulate the situation to his advantage, it’s just “degrees of disadvantage” which makes sense because if he sets hannibal free he loses his family, his life, any shred of morality he has left, etc (“he who holds the devil, hold him well. he will not be caught a second time” / “I don’t intend for hannibal to be caught a second time”). and it’s great because it’s not a win for hannibal, either. “my compassion for you is inconvenient” evidences this well enough. it would be easier for him to kill will, and he could do it if he wanted to, but he just can’t. and it’s all just so satisfying because it makes sense. neither of these characters were set-up for moral redemption, so it feels right for their story to be tragic, and yet everything about it is so twisted and complicated and human, you know? they’re both so different by the end, and finally equal within their power play

and I was very fond of the ambiguity of the ending !! you could interpret the fall as purely metaphorical (fall from grace and into corruption) or it could be literal, or both. if you think they died at the end and bedelia cut off her own leg, only for them not to show up, that’s a valid (and wonderfully ironic) interpretation. if you think they survived and are now hunting together (with bedelia being their first victim) then that’s also equally valid. I think for a show that had to end due to cancellation, the creators made the right choice to leave the finale up to the audience to decide. it’s why I’m still unsure if I want a s4 because the story feels so complete? but I’m definitely not against it either if it ever gets picked up again :)

omg I ranted and wrote a whole essay response for you NDBSJHD this was fun though !! and I hope you enjoy watching the final episodes yourself :DD feel free to share your thoughts after if you want, I’m always interested to hear different interpretations !!

#I was actually thinking about the finale today so this gave me an excuse to write a post about it LMAO #twotl my BELOVED #killing eve wanted to do the tragic operatic ending soooo bad but didn’t build up to it at all #like the arcs don’t even support that type of ending #but that’s a rant for another post <3 which is currently sitting in my drafts #thanks for the ask! #ask response #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal meta #ghost speaks

[ray-ray-writings]

Actually Pretty Funny-Technoblade

Hello! This is a platonic!brother!Technoblade x fem!reader and a hinted Niki x fem!reader. I made the reader female since the request was the reader coming out to Techno as a lesbian. I hope that you enjoy!

Not in the dreamsmp but also isn’t real life. This is a Sleepy Bois inc fic where Techno, Wilbur, Tommy, and reader are all siblings with Phil being their father. 

Warnings: Mentions of skipping meals

Like this and want more? Check out my masterlist here!

Y/N opens up to her big brother as to why she has been avoiding her other brother and his friend.

Y/N’s POV

I let out a sigh as I flopped face first down on my bed. For the past few days, I’ve been spending a lot of time in my room after school. Why? Well thanks for asking, ambiguous voice. My brother Wilbur has been bringing his friend Niki for the past week and a half. The two had been assigned to work on a project together and they found it easier to work at our house because of the close proximity to the school. So the two would spend hours sitting at the kitchen table working on their project, talking and laughing at the jokes they made with one another and I couldn’t be around it.  But not for the reason that most would think….

Many would think that I couldn’t be around the two because I didn’t like Niki. But it’s really quite the opposite. I like Niki. I mean, really like Niki… Really really like Niki… I have a giant crush on Niki. That’s why I can’t be around the two. I either get so jealous that it makes me feel sick or I make a complete fool of myself because I can’t handle Niki smiling at me. I haven’t told anyone this. Not even my brothers. No one knows how I feel and I would like to keep it that way. I love my brothers and I know they’re very supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, but I can’t help but fear that they’ll tease me or look at me differently and I don’t want anything to change. 

So I decided to just hide myself away from all of it. If I don’t acknowledge my feelings, do they really exist? If I hide away in my room, nothing can get out and no one can find me out. I shouldn’t have to do this much longer, the project should be done soon, maybe even tonight. Maybe tonight will be the last time Niki and Wilbur will sit at the kitchen table laughing over how dumb their teacher is. I sure hope so. 

I was interrupted from my self-pity party by a knock on my door. Letting out another sigh, I rolled onto my back and sat up, “Yeah?” The door swung open and I was greeted by the sight of my blonde haired brother. “What?” I questioned with a raised eyebrow. Tommy almost never knocks before coming in so I was a bit surprised. “Dadza is letting us get pizza to celebrate Wilbur and Niki finishing their project. What kind do you want?” Tommy asked, pushing hair out of his eyes. 

My eyes widened slightly at the question. I was right, tonight was the last night that she would be over. But the way that he phrased the question left me with one of my own, “Is Niki staying for dinner?” Tommy rolled his eyes at my question. “Of course she is, idiot. It wouldn’t be a celebration of them finishing without her. Now what do you want?” He pressed. “Oh… Umm..” I stuttered. This had never happened before. Niki never stayed for dinner. Of course Phil made sure she knew she was always welcome, but she didn’t accept the offer. She would always say she had to get home to Ranboo and make sure he hadn’t burned down the house. This always allowed me to fly under my family’s radar. I would go to my room and come down for dinner, claiming that I had a lot of homework and didn’t want to get distracted. Everytime they all bought it. Now what am I supposed to do?

“Umm. Actually, I’m not that hungry right now so I’ll just skip out. Thanks though Tommy.” I smoothly lied to my little brother. At least I thought I was smooth, but Tommy remained in my doorway with a cocked eyebrow and hands now on his hips. “You’re not hungry… For pizza? One of your all time favorites? Yeah I don’t believe you…. Are you skipping meals again? Do I need to go get Techno?” Tommy questioned. My heart began pounding. “No!” I blurted, standing up. I cleared my throat before responding once more, a lot calmer now. “No. No you don’t need to get Techno. I’m not skipping meals. I’m just not hungry.” For a moment, Tommy actually seemed to believe me. But then out of no where, my stomach let out a really loud growl. 

Tommy and I stared at each other for a long while. I silently begged him to not do what I knew he was about to do. If Techno came in here, I knew I would have to spill everything. For some reason I couldn’t lie to my pink headed brother. He always knew how to get me to tell him what he needed to hear. “Tommy,” I whispered, “Please don’t-” “TECHNO!” He screamed, cutting me off. Tommy bolted out of my room and down the hallway toward Techno’s room. I heard Tommy begin to pound on Techno’s door as he yelled his name. In a panic, I rushed forward and slammed my door shut. I then rushed back to my bed and crawled under the blankets, bringing them up to cover my face. 

Tommy’s screams stopped and it was silent. The calm before the storm. A rhythmic knock sounded against my door once more. I didn’t answer, hoping that maybe they would just go away if I didn’t respond… I knew better than that though. After a few moments of silence, I heard the door creak on it’s hinges letting me know it had been opened. It’s moments like this where I silently curse Phil for not letting me have a lock on my door. There was a small click as the door was shut once more. Footsteps echoed through my room and when they stopped, a pressure dipped my bed down as that same person sat next to me. 

The tension in my room was extremely thick as we waited for the other to speak first. I was surprised by the blanket being pulled off of my face. My eyes quickly adjusted as I stared at my brother’s stoic expression, “Hello Technoblade” I greeted softly, looking away from his eyes. “Hello Y/N… Would you like to explain to me why Tommy nearly busted down my door to tell me that you're skipping meals again.” I rolled my eyes and adjusted myself so that I was now sitting up and resting against the headboard, “Because he’s a snitch that can’t keep his mouth shut” I huffed, looking everywhere but my brother. Techno let out a sigh and moved so that he was now sitting criss-cross on my bed. I felt a hand underneath my chin and my head was slowly moved so that I had no choice but to look at Techno. “You want to try again?” He prodded softly. 

I took a deep breath before letting it out and swallowing harshly, “I can’t be around her.” I admitted softly. Techno’s face morphed into confusion, “Niki? Why? Has she been mean to you? That’s really surprising to hear, she’s usually a total sweetheart! I’ll talk to her and let her know-” “No” I cut him off. “No, it’s not that at all… I can’t be around her for another reason…” I trailed off. Techno was still confused, “You’re going to help me out Y/N. What other reason?” I took another deep breath before finally answering, “I like her. I really like her Techno. I’m either sick with jealousy at what her and Wilbur have or I fumble and embarrass myself in front of her… Techno… I’m a lesbian.” I admitted, closing my eyes tightly, not wanting to see his reaction. 

He was silent for a while. I was about to speak again but was cut off by arms being wrapped around my shoulders. Techno pulled me into a tight hug, pressing me close to his chest. On instinct, my arms wrapped around him, my hands clutching the back of his shirt. All the emotions I had been bottling up for the past week and a half came crashing down. Tears began slipping out of my eyes as small sobs choked their way out of my mouth. Techno simply held me closer and began rocking back and forth, smoothing my hair down with one hand and the other rubbing up and down my back in comfort. 

After a few minutes, my tears and sobs came to a stop. Techno tilted his head down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head. “Thank you for telling me,” He murmured against my hair. I sniffed and let out a hum, “Yeah… I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” Techno pulled back and gave me a stern look, “Don’t apologize okay? You weren’t ready to tell me and that’s okay. No one is entitled to information that you’re not ready to tell.” I processed his words and nodded, “You’re right,” I croaked, my throat raw from sobbing. Techno let out a laugh in triumph, “Always am kiddo. I always am.” 

The two of us sat in comfortable silence for just a moment before Techno spoke again, “I just want to let you know that this changes nothing. You’re still my little sister that I love very much. Just now, instead of beating up your boyfriends, I’ll have to have civil conversations with your girlfriends.” His words caused me to giggle. The thought of Techno gearing up to fight the first boy I bring home only to open the door and find a woman. I giggled more as I pictured him quickly hiding his weapons and ushering the girl to the table and questioning them. “You know Techno, you’re actually pretty funny.” I giggled, shaking my head. A huge smile graced Techno’s face as he fist pumped in the air. “A lesbian refering to me as ‘actually pretty funny’? I’ve won life. Poggers!” I couldn’t help the laughter then burst from my lips at the sight of my pink headed brother fist pumping to me telling him he’s funny. Techno joined in on my laughter, causing me to laugh harder. 

After our laughter died down, Techno stood up and offered me his hand. “Come on. Let’s go get some pizza.” Without even stopping to think, I took his hand and let him lead me downstairs to the kitchen. “There you two are!” Dadza greeted with a warm smile. Everyone was seated at the kitchen table, pizza boxes spread out in front of them. I didn’t realize that enough time had passed to where they were able to order and get the pizza. “Y/N your pizza is right there and Techno yours in next to hers.” aid, pointing to the two empty spots. Techno was quick to sit down and begin eating. 

I took my seat next to Techno and Niki across from me. “Hey Y/N!” Niki greeted with a bright smile. “Hey Niki,” I greeted her back with a shy smile. “I felt like I haven’t seen you much this past week! How have you been?” She questioned, setting down her slice of pizza. “I’ve been good. How about you?” I asked back. “I’ve been good too! Hanging out with your brother has been fun, but it would have been better if I was able to see your face every once in a while.” Her words caused my face to flush a deep red. “Maybe we could hang out, just you and me sometime?” She offered, getting a little shy now. I glanced around at the table and found three shocked faces and one smirking. I cleared my throat and nodded enthusiastically, “I would love that, Niki.” I claimed with a smile. Niki smiled sweetly back at me before going back to eating her pizza causing me to also go back to my pizza. 

There was a silence that fell over the table as the four guys stared at us. “What’s the matter?” I asked in general to the four. Wilbur, Tommy, and Phil seemed to shake out of their surprise and all murmured “nothing” before all going back to munching on their pizza and having a casual conversation. I let out a breath of relief. I knew that I would have to address what just happened after dinner, but for now I was off the hook. I allowed myself to look over to my oldest brother, who was shoving his pizza in his mouth. When his eyes met mine, he gave me a bright smile and a sly wink causing me to giggle and smile back at him. Perhaps it’s a good thing I can’t lie to my pink headed brother sometimes… Sometimes. 

There you go! I really hope that you enjoy! If you did, please be sure to leave a like!

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x fem!reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt one shot #techno #technoblade #technoblade imagine #platonic!technoblade #brother!technoblade #sleepy bois inc #mcyt drabble #technoblade x reader #technoblade one shot #dream #dreamsmp #dream smp #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #niki #niki nihachu #phil #philza #dadza #brother #ray writings #ray-ray-writings #ray ray writings #actually pretty funny #requested

[teddy06writes]

Some unspoken thing

Karl Jacobs x Reader 

requested: no

Trigger warnings: mentions of covid, mild descriptions of a panic attack

premise: You and Karl have been friends, for years now, and now even your friends are starting to see that unspoken thing between you

“---” talking

‘---’ talking through a call

(y/s/n) -  your screen name

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’d known Karl since you were at least 10, and you both agreed that you’d been together forever, through thick and thin it was always you and Karl against the world. You and your unspoken thing.

When he’d first spoken of moving away from Portland you weren’t too sure, mostly because of college, but still, you found yourself here, sprawled across a couch, exhausted from hauling boxes up to your apartment. 

“Why did we bring so much stuff?” You groaned as Karl picked up your legs long enough to sit down, then letting them drop into his lap. 

He sighed, “Don’t quote me on this, but it was you who couldn’t pack your stuff into less than 20 boxes.” 

“Yah okay Mr. ‘I can’t be bothered to even clean this laundry before I pack it up to leave’.” You scoffed.  

“That's not true! I washed most of it...” Karl trailed off pulling out his phone, “Pizza?” 

“Obviously.” 

Soon the pizza arrived and as Karl went to the door to grab it, you went and grabbed two monsters from the fridge, sitting back down in front of the couch as Karl came back with the pizza. 

“Ey I gotta pizza here!” He exclaimed, setting it down. 

“Eyyyyyyy!” You handed him one of the monsters, opening your own as he sat down, already starting to pull up an old episode of survivor. 

Once the pizza had been finished, and the left overs put away you ended up half cuddled together on the couch, your fingers softly carding through his hair. 

^^

“Hey! I’m back!” You called, looking around the seemingly empty apartment, confused, “Karl?” 

It had been a few months since, you’d moved out to North Carolina, and so far online school hadn’t been too bad even when corona hit, not with Karl and streaming to distract you from the reality of the world around you.

You went back to looking around for your friend, calling, “Hey, Karl where’d you go?” 

Sighing you followed the soft, muffled sobs to Karl’s room, knocking on the door softly, “Honey, are you in there?” 

There was silence, then a muffled, “un uh.” 

You pushed open the door gently, blinking into the mild darkness and turning to see Karl sitting on his bed, half curled into the wall and wrapped in a sweater he’d stolen from your closest a few weeks ago. 

Immediately  you crossed the room, climbing onto the bed next to him and pulling him into your arms, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” 

His arms drifted around your waist, burying his into your chest, “They all hate me.” He murmured. 

“Who do you think hates you?” You cooed. 

“Dream and Sapnap and everyone.”

“They don’t hate you, no one on the smp hates you.” You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, “What happened?” 

“I said somethin stupid, (y/n), I messed everything up.” 

You knew not to push any further, instead just doing your best to hold him closer, whispering, “They don’t hate you, they’d never hate you okay? It’ll all blow over and everything will be okay. I promise.” 

“What if it doesn’t (y/n)? What if I messed it up forever?” 

“You didn’t baby, you didn’t. It’s gonna be alright, I promise.” 

^^

“Ahhhhhh leave me alone!” You half shrieked, running away from Sapnap and Quackity on the dream SMP. 

‘Imposter! Imposter!’ They chanted. 

“I’m just supposed to be babysitting the chat!” You yelled, “I didn’t sign up to bully on a twitch stream! If I wanted that I would’ve been on my own stream!”

Sapnap laughed, ‘Oof! That's sad.’ 

“I know,” You said dramatically, “No one has any respect for (y/s/n), not you, not my chat, not even Karl!” 

‘We all know thats not true.’ Quackity scoffed. 

You half turned, giggling as Karl, came back into the room, “Debatable.” 

“What’s uh, whats going on?” He asked. 

“I’m being bullied, that's what's going on,” The chat started to fill with hearts and ‘(y/s/n) support.’, “Also I’ve decided since your chat likes me more than mine, so this is my stream now, I’m taking over.” 

Karl just half sighed, grabbing the chair from your desk on the other side of the office, and wheeling it over, sitting down next to you, propping his legs in your lap. 

‘(y/n) the world wants to know, how does it feel to now fill the void where Karl Jacobs once sat?’ Quackity asked, through a voice filter. 

“Well, since my dear friend Karl died,” 

“I’m not dead!” He interjected.

You sniffed, “Sometimes I can still hear his voice.”

“Dear friend?” Sapnap scoffed, “Al- Quackity look at the stream and tell me if they look like ‘dear friends’.” 

You face started to grow red, as both Nick and Alex began to catcall at you two, Karl, clearly getting confused as you ducked your head, face entirely red. 

“Whats the matter (y/n)? You got a crush?” Nick teased. 

Half covering your mouth you muttered, “Just some unspoken thing.” 

^^

“If I were to tell you that I kinda sorta didn’t listen to you, and forgot to buy more cereal, what would you say?” Karl asked, shrugging off his backpack as he came into the apartment. 

When he got no real response, he started to look around, finding you a minute later, laying on his bed, “Did’ja hear me?” 

“ehhhh... I don’t really care.” 

His brow furrowed upon hearing your monotonous, “You okay? What’s up?” 

You were still staring up at the ceiling “Grey, ‘s all grey.”

Sighing he came and sat down on the bed next to you, taking one of your hands in his, “Grey?” 

“Sad brain makes everything grey.” 

Karl fiddled with your fingers a moment, before raising them to his lips and softly pressing a kiss to your knuckles, “I’ll go make you tea.” 

He headed out of the room, leaving you to sit up and stare at the ceiling wondering what you’d done to deserve someone like him. 

He headed out of the room, leaving you to sit up and stare at the ceiling wondering what you’d done to deserve someone like him. 

A few minuets later he came back with a mug, handing it to you before he sat down behind you, wrapping his arms around you, “Is there a reason for sad brain today?” 

“Everything's just- blah. I’m just tired.” 

He didn’t need to ask to understand you didn’t mean physically, so instead he just pulled you gently to lean against his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to the edge of your jaw, “Okay?”

You knew Karl had a hard time with words sometimes, and you had long since learned how to listen for the meanings between simple phrases, and especially the weight of certain words, “Okay.” 

^^

‘So what is with you and Karl?’ Niki asked. 

You sighed, “I do not even know where to begin to answer that question.”

You were sitting in a discord call with her, originally trying to plan a joint stream but the conversation had switched.

‘I mean, if you don’t mind me saying so, it seems like your dating.’ 

“Well...” You considered it for a moment, you knew that your feelings for Karl were more than platonic, and had been for a long time, to you, it almost seemed like a fact of the world, the sky is blue, the earth is round, you loved Karl. 

“We've never talked about it, but- I suppose we- uhhh, you know what we’ll just say a little bit.” You quickly changed what you were going to say to be more ambiguous as Karl entered the room yelling, “Hi Niki!” 

‘I know you can’t hear me but hi Karl!’ She yelled back. 

You laughed, turning in your chair, “Niki says hi!” 

Karl grinned, leaning on the back of your chair, “Oh, yeah, dinners ready.”  and Niki raised her eyebrows, smirking at you.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You laughed, feeling Karl’s chin coming to rest on the top of your head. 

‘I’m not looking at anything.’ she insisted, ‘you would be a cute couple.’

Your face started to turn red, “Shut up!” 

‘It was a compliment!’ Niki laughed. 

“I know!” 

Karl’s face grew confused, “What?”

“It’s nothing. Niki I’ve gotta go, we’ll see about the stream tomorrow, okay?” 

‘yeah, bye!’ 

“Bye!” 

You disconnected from the call, “Dinner?” 

“Yeah! I managed not to burn the chicken!” 

You couldn’t help but grin, “Awesome!” 

^^

“I swear- either there both oblivious or there just really good at keeping it just hidden enough!” Dream exclaimed. 

“I mean if we don’t find out for another two weeks, I get a hundred dollars, so by all means let it drag out.” Quackity laughed. 

Sapnap groaned, “Actually its more like three hundred now, Hbomb, Skeppy and Wilbur all put in more money.” 

“Well I asked the other day,” Niki began, “and they only said, ‘a little bit’, What does that even mean?” 

“Maybe they are dating and that's (y/n)s way of dismissing it.” Tubbo said. 

You were listening to the discord call, trying not to laugh, as Tommy suggested, “Well it’s possible they are dating but like, haven’t realized it?” 

Everyone began to laugh, “Wait- wait hear me out! Hear me out! Like- you know when on like romcoms and shit where two bestfriends end up like there dating even when they technically aren’t and then they accidently kiss!” 

George scoffed, “That's not a thing.” 

“Well still!” Tommy tried to argue. 

“Not even in movies though.” Niki said. 

“Your right,” You laughed, unmuting, “We haven’t kissed yet, so it must not be a thing.” 

The vc went deadly silent as Tommy began to laugh hysterically, “Were you here the whole time?” 

“Maybe.” You laughed. 

“Wait- so are you and Karl together or not?” Dream questioned. 

“Uhhh, let you know when I find out? Do I get the money if I figure it out?” 

“Oh my god (y/n).” Tubbo was trying not to laugh himself as Tommy continued to lose his shit. 

“Yeah,” You looked over to where Karl was half asleep, leaning against you, “I’ve said it before, and I guess I’ll say it again, it’s just some unspoken thing.” 

^^

Music filled the apartment when you entered, some old song by Sinatra, and Karl was dancing around the living room as you pulled off your coat and mask. 

“Are you listening to Sinatra?” You questioned, setting the rest of your things down. 

“Come dance with me!” He giggled. 

You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you grabbed his hand, letting the other come to rest on his shoulder, “God, it’s been so long since I’ve dance.” 

“Come on, you remember don’t you?” 

You chuckled, “Back, side, forward, back. Technically this isn’t a waltzing song though.” 

“You can waltz to anything if you try hard enough,” Karl insisted, “Ready, and- one two three, one two three...” 

You fell into step, quietly humming along to the song as you moved in a slow arc around the room.

“..And- spin out...” Karl murmured, gently spinning you out to the side, and you paused for a a moment before he tugged on you arm, causing you to spin back in, finding yourself, face to face with him. 

You laughed nervously, suddenly blushing at the feeling of his arms around you. 

“What are we?” Karl asked softly, “Like, what is- this?” 

“Some unspoken thing.” Your voice was just as low, suddenly the weight of the hand resting on your lower back seeming to double.

He looked at your lips, then back at your eyes, and you nodded softly, leaning in and pressing your lips together. 

Your arms drifted around his waist as he pulled you closer, before you separated, smiling. 

“Does that mean it’s spoken now?” Karl asked. 

You grinned, “Course.” 

Later, after spending the rest of the night like any other you were cuddled up together on the couch, watching the newest episode of survivor, and you pretended not to notice as he gushed to someone through text. 

Your phone began to buzz with  venmo notifications, and Karl looked at you confused, “(y/n), why is everyone paying you?” 

You chuckled, “Reaping the benefits of our friends conspiring in a discord call that was left open.” 

After the kiss you had sent one text to a group chat; ‘I figured it out: pay up bitches.’

#karl jacobs x reader #karl jacobs imagines #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagines #teddy06 writes

[dizzydancingdreamer]

Going To Disney With The Avengers Gang™ | Planning The Trip

Part One of my "Going To Disney With The Avengers Gang™" headcanon series

Includes: (The Whole Gang) Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Vision, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson

Word Count: 3.9k

Relationships: The Avengers x F!Reader, Ambiguous; just how we like it ;)

Going To Disney With The Avengers Gang™ Master List

→The whole idea starts when the team is lounging at the compound doing regular™ team things

→A.K.A Wanda, y/n, Pietro, and Vision are in a pile on one of the couches cuddling, Clint and Nat are across the room playing pool, Bucky is making ramen in the kitchen, Steve is trying to convince Bucky to add an egg or something for more protein, Bruce and Stephen are talking neuroscience and bickering over techniques of spinal fluid something, Thor and Loki are fighting over the remote before Loki finally rolls his eyes and picks up the book y/n had left on the coffee table, Sam is asleep on the floor, and Tony is just tired

→In the madness though he picks up on the conversation happening between the four people on the couch

→“You’ve never been to Disney World?”

→Three rounds of “no” “nope” “I’ve only had a body for a year, y/n. When would I have gone to Disney World?”

→”Okay, yeah, good point, Vis. But y’all would love it. I haven’t been since high school but I want to go again so bad. We need a vacation.”

→Tony doesn’t even stick around to hear the rest, he’s already walking away while speaking to FRIDAY, telling her start pulling up the Disney site and analyzing it, disappearing to his lab and using all of his monitors to compare the resorts and try to decide where to stay that everyone would like (and where they would all fit because there’s too many of them)

→It doesn’t take him long to realize they’re going to need large accommodations

→Bruce is the first to notice that he’s gone, sneaking into the lab and scaring the hell out of Tony

→“Whatcha’ doing?”

→“Ah shit-- Bruce! How are you so quiet?”

→And then he points to the seven open listings on the monitors and explains that the team needs a break and that he heard y/n talking about Disney World and that he wants to surprise the team-- Bruce agrees immediately (the man is always in need of relaxation)-- and that’s how the team’s geek squad ends up playing Disney Dad #1 and Disney Dad #2 and planning the most extravagant vacation in less than three hours

→They have it down to a science after the first twenty minutes-- dividing what needs to be done and tackling it individually while bouncing ideas off one another

→“Do you think they want to eat at Beauty and The Beast Castle or Ariel’s Grotto the second night?” “I’m not sure-- book them both.” “Tony we can’t--” “FRIDAY, book them both.” “You got it Mr. Stark.”

→There’s a lot of Bruce wondering if what they’re booking is too expensive and even more of Tony reminding him that he’s a literal billionaire and that he could buy the Disney company if he wanted to-- that still doesn’t stop Bruce from suggesting more frugal methods from time to time-- it only makes Tony want to spend even more money because you need to lighten up, Banner

→The next person who realizes Tony and Bruce are gone is-- surprisingly-- Sam

→Honestly it’s only because he has to pass Tony’s lab on the way back from his room and he sticks his head in to tell them that “Romanoff and Barton ordered pizza if y’all want any… holy crap is that Disney World? Are we going to Dis--”

→Tony literally grabs him by the collar and tells him to hush it, birdman before pulling him into the room and explaining his plans for the second time-- “Yes, we are going to Disney World and I want it to be a surprise.”

→Sam just nods, his eyes on the screen and his brows beginning to push down and-- “Okay but why are you booking dinner at Mickey’s Backyard Barbecue on the same day that you have fast passes for World of Color at Epcot?”

→And Tony and Bruce blink and are just like “What?”

→And Sam is already at the computer, fingers stuttering over the weird ass hoverscreens while pulling up the page which shows that the World of Color has a whole ass dining experience-- Tony and Bruce have no clue that was even a thing-- and suddenly Sam is the one telling them what to plan because, as it turns out, this man loves Disney World and has been upwards of thirteen times and knows it inside and out

→Thank gods for Sam because these two Disney Dads™ were really shooting blindly into the abyss of trip planning without ever having gone to Disney World-- he has to shift around fast passes, dining reservations, water park tickets, and even the family portrait session that Tony demanded Bruce add

→He shows them all the things they don’t even think to plan-- firework shows, dessert parties, literally all of Downtown Disney-- Tony wants to be mad but he’s too busy picking his jaw up off the floor when Sam manages to book them for an After Dark Party in Magic Kingdom

→Bruce gets so excited when Sam tells him that’s a thing that he almost gives the plan away when Natasha comes rushing to see what all the noise is (it’s Banner jumping up and down like a toddler) -- he has to rush to the doorway, make up a lie about him dropping a piece of equipment, and then walk her back to the common area and play a round of pool with her to keep her questions at bay

→It’s all fine because Sam puts the final touches on the plan and has Tony give the order for FRIDAY to book it all and then it’s ready to tell the team

→They sneak back into the common area, it’s nine pm and everyone just looks so worn out

→Stephen is literally half way to snoring, legs curled under him on the love seat, doing that thing people do when they’re falling asleep and their head slumps and then they spring back awake, repeating the process an embarrassing amount of times but nobody’s even paying attention

→Steve and Bucky are talking quietly in the corners about whether or not they should just go to sleep because it’s Thursday and there’s really no point in staying up any longer

→Clint and Thor are sharing a bag of popcorn and half watching John Wick while discussing the inaccuracies of the movie-- “If he had a bow none of this would have happened.” “Or a hammer.” “Yeah, that too.”

→Yeah, they’re exhausted, and it makes the Disney Dads™ and Sam that much more excited to share the news

→Sam’s twiddling his hands behind his back and sharing smiles with Banner who’s trying to keep his excitement at bay and Tony is rolling his eyes but smiling too and for a moment nobody notices their cheshire grins and nervous foot tapping until finally y/n lifts her head from Pietro’s chest-- who complains at the action and lifts his head too-- and lazily asks

→“Tones, what on earth are you smiling about?”

→And the man opens his mouth but before he can even get the words out Bruce and Sam are already jumping up and down again and screaming “We’re going to Disney World!”

→And the room goes dead silent for three beats-- one, two, three-- and it feels like a million seconds and Tony’s face is dropping slowly and he’s ready to be like sike and then she jumps up, literally stepping on Pietro’s stomach, hurtling the back of the couch like a damn track star and rushing the man at full force, flinging herself at him and jumping into his arms and there are tears streaming down her face and she’s screaming

→“Tony you didn’t! Oh my gods you didn’t! You’re lying oh my god no! Are you serious?”

→And he’s nodding but he still can’t get a word in edgewise because she’s still rambling-- “You heard me oh my gods! You heard me and you did it! Tony that’s insane and reckless and oh my god I love you! Are we actually going? This isn’t a trick? Please don’t let this be a trick!”

→And he just laughs and spins her around and tells her that no, this isn’t a trick I’m not the mischief god here and Loki rolls his eyes but he’s also kind of excited despite the frown on his face

→They’re all excited

→Pietro and Wanda and screaming with Sam, slapping each other and just full on freaking out like children, incoherent and happy and raring to just go already

→In turn this wakes Stephen up who hears the madness and jumps up, on edge and ready to literally fight before he realizes what’s going on and calmly sits back down, nodding his head but not speaking because if this literal grown man opens his mouth he knows he’s going to freak out too because holy shit Disney World-- even sorcerers like Disney!

→Steve and Bucky are kind of confused-- they just barely remember Snow White when it came out but Disney World? They made a-- what is it? A theme park? Regardless they’re excited, ready to break the old men lull they’ve fallen into-- Bucky hears y/n ask if Tony booked water park tickets and gets super excited

→Vision is also confused but he sees everyone getting turnt over Disney World and decides that he is also excited-- Wanda momentarily stops being hyped up to ask him if he’s waterproof in which he goes into explicit detail about how yes, he is and he’ll show her if she’d like and she has to slap her hands over his mouth and tell him to hush

→Thor and Clint also turn into children but they’re the run around the room yelling types as opposed to the stand in a circle and scream types-- the gang is apparently just like fifteen children who barely manage to get things done apparently because they’re all hyped as fuck

→Clint sprints over to Nat whose hands are already up, ready to fight the man off because she knows what’s coming, but he’s too fast and too happy and uses all his assassin training to dodge her kick, grabbing her around the waist and spinning her around until she’s giggling and slapping his back

→“Natty we’re going to fucking Disney World!”

→“I know you lug, I heard Stark too. Let me down!”

→He doesn’t-- he just shakes her harder, cheering with the rest of them

→Thor slumps down next to his brother, nudging his shoulder-- “Migardians are strange”-- and Loki nods but pulls out his phone and starts looking up what’s actually at Disney World and-- “Look, brother, our home… wait is that us?”-- and the brothers get sucked into a rabbit hole of the Norwegian pavilion and whatever the hell the Frozen ride is and why their pictures are there

→It takes thirty minutes for everyone to calm down enough for them to actually have a conversation about what on earth Tony and Bruce and Sam did-- it takes another ten minutes after that for Stephen to finally break through the chatter to ask the most important question-- “Guys, seriously. You can ask about the plans after. The main question here is when are we going.”

→And Tony glances at Bruce and shrugs and is like “Tomorrow.”

→And they all erupt again-- y/n and Wanda because they have to pack and Stephen because normal people don’t just up and go on Vacation, you’re supposed to make time and Clint and Pietro because holy shit we’re going to Disney tomorrow!-- but Tony just brushes the worry off and reminds them-- again-- that they’re superheroes and that he’s a billionaire and that they can go on vacation whenever they damn want

→Cue fifteen more minutes of freaking out and y/n tackling Tony and then tackling Bruce and then, finally, tackling Sam who scoops her up and all but tosses her in the air before thanking her profusely for putting the idea in Tony’s brain

→They spend the next few minutes fangirling together-- Sam raves about all the food he’s going to eat-- Mickey bars, corn dogs, pretzels, those huge turkey legs-- and y/n talks about how she wants to get all the autographs she can-- especially Goofy and Pluto-- and then Sam mentions the After Dark Party and, like Bruce, she freaks out

→Finally Wanda has to split them up, grabbing y/n with one hand and hauling her over to the other redhead who’s still being held hostage by the resident archer and grabbing Nat with the other-- when Clint protests she curls her fingers, warning him with a pinch of red magic, and he holds his hands up, backing away slowly but telling Nat she’d better come see him before they leave

→On the way out Steve asks where they’re going and Wanda almost threatens him too until Nat tells him they’re going to pack for tomorrow-- he then turns to Bucky and reiterates the idea to a less than enthusiastic super soldier who tries to argue that I can pack in the morning but Steve just isn’t having it-- it takes five minutes but finally Buck agrees (but only after Steve says Bucky can just throw his stuff in his bag)

→The girls spend the rest of the night giggling and packing, holding up dresses and putting them down, shoving things in each other's bags and dancing to a playlist of oldies from Wanda’s phone-- Nat is the most boring packer but after some threats to get resident archer involved she gets her act together

→Pietro comes in when he’s done and Wanda scoffs at what he has packed but he only shrugs, slumping on y/n’s bed and giving her grabby hands until she rejoins him

→“But Pietro what if I forget something?”

→“You worry too much-- can’t Stange make portals?” He has a point

→What they all pack:

→Tony: Suits and graphic t-shirts. He’s either rolling up to Disney World in a Metallica t-shirt or a full three piece suit there’s no inbetween. He’s really not concerned about packing-- he can just buy whatever he needs there. After a text from y/n though he throws in a few pairs of shorts that he didn't even know he owned and his M.I.T. hoodie. He tops it off with a few gadgets he thinks he might need-- FRIDAY’s chip and some nanotech-- and he’s good to go. Billionaires don’t need to pack.

→Steve: Clothes and toiletries. Boring, basic, forgets swim trunks until he sees Bucky put his swim trunks and nothing else into Steve’s bag. That’s how he remembers most things actually; by looking at what Bucky doesn’t put into the bag. Along the way he suggests what the super soldier might want to pack while adding a few extra of his own just in case. After thinking about it for a few minutes he adds two books-- one for each of them. He also adds some tools-- a screwdriver and some pliers-- in case Bucky’s arm starts acting up. He’s sure Stark will have something but in case he doesn't, those will hold it over.

→Bucky: Swim trunks. And, when Steve begs, he grumbles and adds a few button downs and henleys. He also sneaks in a few knives, burying them in the henleys. He watches Steve pack for him though and leaves it at that-- what’s the point of packing when the super soldier can just do it for him? He’s not stupid-- he’s tired and Steve is fussy. He’ll have what he needs and if he doesn’t then he’ll just make y/n go swimming with him. Then he won’t need anything. Easy peasy.

→Nat: She’s the most level headed packer of the bunch, spare maybe Bruce and Sam. She Packs what she’ll need-- not too much and not too little. If anything she packs too many of Clint’s hoodies (three). Part of that, though, is her knowing that he’s probably going to forget one. She packs her normal toiletries, making sure to add an extra stick of deodorant and a bottle of Wanda’s red nail polish because-- despite the fact that she spends an hour watching Wanda pack her entire room-- she just knows that the woman forgot a bottle of that stuff and that she’ll be upset if her nails look chipped in the pictures. Wanda and y/n make her pack a bikini despite the fact that she has two scars from Bucky still and they threaten to get Clint involved if she tries to refuse-- “I suggest you put that little black number in that bag right now unless you want some aggressive compliments, you hear me woman?” She didn’t have to be told twice.

→Clint: Not as much as he should. Never as much as he should. He packs boxers, a pair of swim trunks, a few regular shirts and shorts (not enough), a couple nice shirts and a pair of jeans, and his toiletries. He’s gone longer with less but-- like-- he doesn’t have to this time? Nat walks into his room as he finishes packing and takes one look at his bag before marching to his closet and adding a hat, a pair of sunglasses, a jacket, a pair of sweatpants, and socks because who the hell doesn’t pack socks when they’re going to be walking around for days, how the hell are you an accomplished assassin Clint?

→Wanda: She literally packs as much as she can-- think the essentials times three and then some, like five different dresses, two leather jackets (even though y/n reminds her that Orlando is hot), her laptop and her ipad, two pairs of headphones. She has a notebook, a sketch book, and a regular book. Six bikinis and a one-piece. Three hats, four pairs of sunglasses, enough panties to last a month, let alone a week. She packs heels, boots, sneakers, flats, and sandals. Two purses and a backpack. Wanda Maximoff is the epitome of team mom-- anything Nat and y/n forget she’ll have it. She also packs a few things that she thinks Pietro will forget-- a few nice outfits for nights out and his main toiletries. Oh-- and sunscreen! Lots and lots of sunscreen!

→Pietro: Well, let's just say that it’s a good thing Wanda thinks to pack some things for Pietro because this man barely remembers his toothbrush let alone his phone charger. He gets the basics-- the bare necessities-- like three t-shirts, a pair of shorts, some (?) boxers, and like seven pairs of shoes because with how fast this man is he’s going to need them badly. He does, however, remember to pack his bathing suit and that’s more than a few people on the team can remember. Poor baby just wants to get there already-- he can just buy whatever he forgets.

→Vision: A very strange assortment of items. He doesn’t need clothes-- he can make whatever he would like appear on his body-- but he does want to feel included so Wanda gives him one of her backpacks and he puts like kind of random items into it. He sees a phone cord and shoves it in and like a hairbrush-- all items someone will need eventually but not him (later will find out that it’s the cord to Sam’s Iphone and will hand it over and have the audacity to say you’re welcome Samuel after doing it).

→Sam: He packs at least four ball caps. Nothing besides that really matters; he just knows how fucked you are if you don’t bring a hat and he’s bringing enough for the people who forget. As much as Bucky gets on his nerves he also packs him one. Besides that he packs normally-- t-shirts, shorts, shoes, socks, boxers-- all regular amounts. He freaks out a little when he can’t find his phone charger but he’ll just buy one when he gets there. He also brings a Polaroid camera and a shit ton of film-- some of his team members have never been and he will be documenting it all.

→Bruce: He’s the most boring packer and that isn’t a bad thing-- it’s the reason he has so many doctorates-- because he’s smart and level headed. He packs the clothes he needs with one extra of everything. He packs his toiletries. He doesn’t pack his whole room and he doesn’t pack nothing at all. He’s perfectly in the middle-- a Disney Dad™! He does, however, forget his swim trunks-- oops.

→Stephen: One backpack with a t-shirt, sweatpants, and swim trunks. That’s it. Why would he pack anything else? The man can open a portal whenever he needs! He’s always one step away from his bedroom! Stephen simply flicks his wrists and can change and rejoin the group in less time than it takes the rest of them to pull shit from their bags and wait for the washroom to free up. It’s actually a genius play.

→Loki: Despite being the most outwardly unenthusiastic he packs almost the exact same way that Wanda does. He’s a nervous packer. His brother laughs but, like, he has a point. Safe is better than sorry. It’s comical that he packs like five sweaters though considering that he can snap his fingers and make the sweater appear. All his clothes are either green or black. He packs at least one all black suit. Thor has to force him to add a red Hawaiian shirt and he scoffs at it and shoves it to the bottom. Definitely packs three pairs of swim trunks because he doesn’t like putting them one while they’re still wet. He doesn’t even know if he’s going to go swimming but he’s still doing it anyway. He also packs the scrunchie y/n gave him to keep his hair out of the way and when Thor tries to say shit about it he pulls a dagger from thin air and just chucks it. After dodging it Thor asks why don’t you just make your clothes appear the same way?

→Thor: Enough but, like, definitely not enough. The normal things but like less. He figures he’s going to be spending most of his time in his bathing suit anyway. Loki tries to remind him that he can’t go shirtless in the parks (he looked it up already) but he doesn't listen. It really is a good thing his brother can make things appear from thin air. He’s the type of guy to be content in a pair of flip flops and an open button down. He does, however, bring one of those dad-esque fanny packs and somehow he makes it look hot.

→Y/n: Literally packs the same as Wanda, if just a tad less. So many clothes that it’s insane. She, however, has the added bonus of her old Mickey ears-- a pink sequined pair that are a little worse from wear but still pretty. She packs a bucket hat to pin collectable pins to. She makes sure to leave extra room in her suitcase for souvenirs. She’s had her eye on the luxury bath salts from the Grand Floridian ever since the Disney Instagram posted them a few months ago and now that she’s going she won’t be leaving without them. She also packs the strapless dress she’s been meaning to wear for months now-- she doesn’t know who’s going to be there to admire it but she’s sure there’s at least one person who will. Besides, Nat’s been telling her to wear it for ages.

#Bucky Barnes #Wanda Maximoff #loki laufeyson #thor odinson #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #clint barton #pietro maximoff #stephen strange #bruce banner #sam wilson #vision #the avengers #the avengers x y/n #the avengers x reader #the avengers x you #mcu #mcu headcanons #the avengers headcanons #marvel cinematic universe #bucky headcanon #iron man #captain america

[itsclydebitches]

Punch a hole through her chest.

"Clyde wtf that's so dark."

Just to add onto this, that's literally what happened to Clover just last volume.

If Jaune had been there for that fight, I'd have no trouble believing that Clover was too wounded for him to save in time. He had a hole punched through his chest with a broadsword. RWBY could've done the same thing here--have Cinder shove her entire fist through Penny's heart. The only reason she doesn't die almost immediately is Jaune there trying to heal her, but she's cogent enough to realize she's dead in a few minutes no matter what. And instead of having Jaune kill her, since Weiss is keeping Cinder busy, just beg him to stop prolonging her death. She's suffering and in extreme pain and she knows he's not gonna be able to actually heal her--"Let me go. Let me pass on the powers to someone else so Cinder doesn't get them."

Idk, it's just one option, but like. They have had an entire broadsword shoved through a man's chest in gruesome detail on screen. No one can tell me they couldn't have made Penny's injury excruciating, severe, and lethal enough that even an accomplished healer couldn't save her.

Coming back to this conversation now that I've finished my review!

Excellent point. Yes. This exactly. And as you say, this is just one option of many. Give us a Clover-esque injury that makes it abundantly clear she's not surviving this (RWBY can even continue the visual trend we've gotten with him and Yang's arm). Have Jaune's aura break so he can't heal at all. Have Cinder actively attacking Penny. Let Jaune try to pull her through the portal, but fails. Something else—preferably a couple of somethings else—to sell this "She has to die" moment. Especially for a character that has a) already died once before and b) spent the last two volumes all but begging the group to let her sacrifice herself (let me go to Salem, let me burn up to hold Amity, just kill me so I never open the vault). Many fans are uncomfortable with Penny's death because that self-sacrificial characterization, combined with these ambiguous details of the scene, equals a moment that can easily look like Penny choosing to die—Jaune choosing to kill her— when, in reality, that never actually needed to happen. Every time this conversation comes up, the disagreements stem from how each fan approaches RWBY. Some fans take whatever is said at face value: if Penny says it's hopeless, it's hopeless. No reason to doubt her word. Others (like me) prioritize what we see over what we're told: is Penny a reliable source when it comes to her own self-worth? No. Should she have any knowledge of what's actually lethal to a human body? No. Has Jaune healed life-threatening injuries before? Yes. Does he still have his aura? Yes. Do they have time? Arguably yes, given that Cinder isn't paying any attention to them and they have a whole conversation about this. So...

Change a single detail, like the severity of Penny's injury, and all that goes away. Add in a couple of details, really thinking about how you can sell this moment to the audience, and you'll craft something poignant and heart-breaking... not confusing and frustrating.

Also, just as a sidenote... I personally still don't buy transferring the powers as a justification here. Simply because, like the construction of this scene, RWBY has been iffy and somewhat contradictory about how this transfer works. If I'm meant to believe that the powers transferred to Penny from Fria because Penny was holding her hand and kneeling at her side when she died... then why didn't the powers transfer to Jaune when he's kneeling at Penny's side, killing her? Obviously they can't, he's a guy, so why not go to the closest woman (Weiss), the closest woman connected to Maidens (Cinder), or someone random? Well, it's supposedly because Penny was thinking about Winter. It's easy for Fria to think about Penny, she's right there, but Penny manages to think about Winter despite her still being in the vault. Despite Jaune having her attention. Despite not even knowing if Winter is still alive.

So if Penny has the mental fortitude to think about Winter despite all this, but specifically while Jaune is killing her, I fail to see why she can't think about Winter while Cinder is killing her instead. From there, Penny's entire justification falls apart. She wants to die now so Cinder won't get the powers... but Cinder shouldn't get the powers so long as Penny keeps her thoughts on Winter! And so long as they keep Cinder's power stealing arm away from her. Given the supposed justification the show sets up, the answer here isn't for Penny to die by Jaune's hand (him killing her is a distraction), but to survive—because surviving is good—and keep her thoughts on Winter at all costs, in case she doesn't. Thus, it makes way more sense for Jaune to try and get Penny through a portal. Give her a chance to survive by getting her to relative safety/to a place where he can focus on healing. Get her away from Cinder so she can't snag Penny again with her arm. Get her away from Cinder so she can more easily focus on Winter, should the worse happen and she perishes in the next few minutes as she thinks she might. If Penny had been left alone to die from her injuries, I'd more easily buy her focusing on Winter with no one else there to distract her. But by introducing this concept that Jaune killing her somehow helps the transfer, but Cinder killing her would mean the powers are lost, just muddies the waters further. A kill is a kill. Sorry, but whoever is murdering/mercy killing me is going to be the one at the forefront of my thoughts.

Which, you know, could have been a consequence of Penny and Jaune buying into this foolish idea. The powers go to someone random because, oddly enough, it's hard to focus on a successor when another friend is killing you. Rather than Winter receiving the powers when she could have just gotten them at the end of Volume 7, they're lost to someone the group doesn't know about yet.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas

[otptings]

Countless Moons

-Idol; Niki

-Word Count; 3k+

-Genre; 13+, angst , two endings (one horror, one ambiguous fluff)

-Warnings; detailed death, blood, cussing, aged up Niki, mentions of eating disorder, descriptions of grief multiple breakdowns, mentions of vomiting, self harm, insanity

-Synopsis; 2 years ago you witnessed your boyfriends death firsthand. Now after his 2 year death anniversary weird occurrences have started happening.

-A/n - here is my warning, this has a really detailed death scene that caused me to become choked up while writing this. if you do not think you can handle that please do not read this. requests are open for Enhypen (super small print is a dream, italics are flashbacks)

"I'm sorry."

Tears dripped down your cheeks. Fat and warm as they landed on your hands that you were wringing. Staring at the gravestone in front of you.

Riki Nishimura.

December 9th 2005- November 30th 2020.

Gone too soon.

It was the second anniversary. That means two years. Two years since you've witnessed him get hit by a car. When you thought too long about it you could remember that day perfectly.

That dreaded day.

Seeing his purple hair and the pout on his face after he had gotten lectured by the soccer coach because of it. The sun beating down on you, warming you despite the cold breeze that threatened to force you to put on a jacket. Niki's jacket that he always left for you just in case. Watching as he dribbled the ball, confidence displayed on his face as he kicked it toward the goal. Tossing his arm over K's shoulder as he cheered, turning to face you. Raising his fist, a smile on your face as you happily cheered for him.

Tugging said jacket closer around your body as another cold breeze brushed by. The clouded sky only made the day more dismal. Knowing that not even the sun would shine on you, as if it knew what this day meant.

"I should've listened to you," You wiped away your tears releasing a shaky laugh, "If I was more careful you would never had have to run after me."

The gravel digging into your knees and palm. Hearing your jeans rip as you hit the ground. Turning around in time to see the car hitting Niki. You could hear crunches, and a thud as he hit the ground. A blood curling scream was heard, but you don't know if it was from you or Niki. The driver of the car veered into a tree, who you later found out was drunk, passing out against the wheel.

The horn blared as you ran over to Niki, placing his head in your lap. His purple hair appearing red faintly, his eyes fluttering shut. Begging him to stay awake, tears blurring your vision as you cupped his cheek . Eyes widening you say blood dripping from his forehead.

So much blood.

The crimson liquid spilling around his body, seeping into your clothes as you held him closely. Looking around you saw bystanders staring on in disbelief, watching as you cried over his body in the middle of the street.

By the time the ambulance showed up Niki had stopped breathing. More screams and tears leaving you as the paramedics pulled you off of his body. One of them wrapped a silver blanket around you, another called your parents. You watched as they attempted to revive Niki.

They weren't successful.

His time of death was 5:37 pm.

"I wish you were here with me. I still sleep with the teddy bear your mom gave me, the one that used to be yours." A bitter sweet memory, his mom coming to your house with tears in her eyes. Handing you a box of his belongs. She hugged you tightly, muttering a sorry, before giving you her number. That was 2 years ago, before they moved to Osaka.

You couldn't blame her.

The box was precious to you. Filled with various teddy bears that he had around his room, various assortment of clothes, and letters that he had written you.

Goosebumps erupted over your skin as you felt eyes on you. Was someone watching you? Raking your eyes over the tree line, you thought you saw a glimpse of purple. Chills ran through you. It was time to leave anyway, it was past 7 pm.

Placing the narcissus flower on his grave, you stood up not bothered by the grass stains on your jeans. Pulling the jacket closer to your body, you headed to the gateway of the graveyard.

As you approached the archway you felt an urge to turn around. It was strong, like someone whispering it directly in your ear. Glancing over your shoulder you saw someone crouching over his grave, exactly where you were mere moments ago. The flower you placed in the figures hand as they stood up. An involuntary gasp left your mouth, and then the figure was gone. Vanishing into thin air.

"Niki?"

-

The sun beamed down on him reflecting his silver hair as he stepped into the river. Niki turned to you with a giant smile on his face, his hand up covering his eyes from the son. Strangely you couldn't make out his eyes. You let out a laugh watching as the bottom of his jeans got soaked by the water where he hadn't pulled them high enough. He looked down at the flowing water, a pout on his lips.

The water seemed to continue rising, as fear shown in his eyes. Just like the day the car hit him. You tried to scream at him, tell him to get out of the water, but no words left your mouth. A wave rose out of the water and hit Niki. A gurgled noise filled the air as you ran to the river. You ran into the river, desperately looking for him when you something grab your leg and yank you under the water. You were met by dark red eyes, and a fanged smile.

He let out a laugh as the water filled your lungs. When your vision started to get blurry he whispered in your ear.

"Be back soon love."

-

No fucking way. Your stomach dropped as you read the text.

Niki Niki 💞

Hi baby

Your hand shook as you quickly blocked the number. This was a sick fucking joke. Nausea flooded your stomach, and you felt bile rise in your throat. Dropping to your knees you started to get choked up. Covering your mouth you tried to quiet the sobs leaving your mouth.

Who the fuck would hack a dead persons phone? Why would you think that was okay?

Seeing Niki's contact appear made your heart drop. Memories flashed through your mind.

His face lighting up after the goal, when he looked at you in the bleachers and knew that he wanted to make you proud. His smile shining brighter than the sun. Whining when he pulled you into his arms after, laughing as he rubbed his sweaty cheek against yours. His hair stuck to his forehead when he leaned down to you, placing a kiss on your cheek.

Hearing the sound of his body hitting the ground. Holding him tightly to your body, begging anybody to help you. Feeling his blood soaking through your jeans, sticking them to your skin like paper mache. Watching him open his mouth as he tried to talk to you. The panic in his eyes as his breathing got more ragged. A gurgling noise presenting itself as his lungs filled with blood. Seeing his eyes becoming glazed over as you held him to your chest, begging him to stay awake.

You should've held him tighter that day. Kissed him a little harder. Not bothered worrying about his sweaty jersey. Just cherished the time that you spent with him.

Unknown

this looks weird I know but please listen to me

meet me in the place where we first met

I need to see you love

-

Tears streamed down your face as you held your legs close to your chest. Your skirt was covered in mud and grass stains. The bottom of it was torn where it had snagged when you tried to run away from them. Quiet cries left your mouth as you hid under the bleachers, praying that the bullies would leave you alone. You covered your mouth as you heard them getting closer, chants of your names.

"Come out piglet."

"Yea piglet. You love to play in the mud right?"

"Come out come out piglet." Their laughter got quieter as they walked further away. You slowly relaxed. You just had to wait out here til the bell rung. Only flaw in your plan was that you had no clue what time it was.

"Are you okay?" You jumped pulling your legs closer as you heard someone. Turning to your right you saw a boy with dark brown hair, hanging shaggily over his eyes. He held out his hand, attempting to help you stand up. When he realized you weren't gonna grab it he sat down beside you, not caring about the mud getting on his clean uniform. "My names Niki. What's yours?"

Niki didn't seem bothered at your silence. Taking off his jacket he handed it to you.

"I see your uniforms dirty. You can wear my jacket for the day if you like." Reluctantly you took his jacket, slipping it over your arms as he watched you with a smile. You stared at him weirdly as the bell finally run. Recess was over and you had successfully escaped your bullies.

Standing up Niki held his hand out to you again. This time you took it.

"Thank you." His smile only grew larger.

"Of course. I think we're gonna be friends."

-

"This is fucking stupid." Your words got sucked into the quiet of the night. You knew the Niki was dead. You witnessed his death. Held him in your arms as he died and choked on his own blood. Even spoke a eulogy for his funeral. He was dead as doorknob.

Here you were though. Pacing back and forth underneath of the bleachers. Sneakers crunching the dry grass. It was the middle of December. Instead of studying I was waiting to see who hacked my dead boyfriend's phone.

And what specifically was I waiting for? To have them appear then force them to apologize? They have no morals if they could hack a dead teen's number. What makes me think that any useful would happen from this.

"Fuck!" You growled as you crouched down, tears burning at our eyes. "He's not fucking coming back." You tried to convince yourself. "Everyday was supposed to get easier without you, but they're only getting worst and worst." An uncontrollable wail left your lips. You grabbed your hair, pulling it as you tried to ground yourself.

Nothing made sense anymore. Niki died at 15. It's been 2 years and you're still holding on to him.

"He isn't coming back." You wiped your tears with the sleeve of the hoodie, sniffling as you stood up.

"Who's not coming back?" Whirling around your mouth went dry. A gasp left your mouth as dizziness overcame you. "Are you okay? You look pale."

Him screaming your name was the last thing that you heard before you fainted.

-

"How could you bring her here? She has no fucking clue?"

"And leave her there?"

"He's right this is the best choice."

"Bringing her here is dangerous for all of us. Especially here."

"If you guys even touch her I'll kill you."

"We would never."

"What if she finds out what you are?"

-

Your eyes flickered open at the sound of harsh whisperings. Sitting up slowly you looked around the room. It was a stereotypical boys room, posters on the wall and clothes scattered across the floor. Turning to the nightstand something caught your eye. Picking up the picture frame you saw it was a picture of you and Niki.

Freshman year homecoming. First dance since you started dating, almost 5 years after you met for the first time. Our parents forced us to take pictures, changing up our poses every couple of photos. This was ironically the most hated one from that day.

The sun was blazing, beaming down as your parents snapped photo after photo. His arms wrapped around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder. He whispered jokes into your ears, causing laughs to flow freely. Every picture was almost the same. Niki's lips close to your ear, a wide smile on your face as you laughed.

Tears started to blur your vision as you set the picture frame down, albeit with a little bit of a thunk. The whispers went quiet outside, obviously they all had heard it. Someone turned the doorknob with a click before pushing it open, peeking their head in. Light in the hallway shone behind them, obscuring their face. They closed the door quickly, the whispers starting back up.

What the fuck was happening? You pulled your knees to your chest, pulling the blanket tighter around your body. This had to be another nightmare. Yea. Just a silly little dream. Where my dead boyfriend rose from the dead, texted me, and then took me to some strange house. Of course totally normal dream behavior.

Suddenly someone quickly stepped into the room, closing the door behind them with a resolute thud. You threw your hand over your eyes, covering them from the harsh light that abruptly turned on. Blinking a few items, you looked at the person as your vision cleared.

"This is a sick dream." Tilting his head to the side Niki started to walk over to you. Throwing your hands up you stopped him in his tracks. "Stay the fuck away. You are not Niki. I saw him die." His face softened as he stood in the middle of the room, brown eyes showing sadness.

"I am Niki."

"You're fucking not! I saw him die! I held him as he fucking died!" He jumped at your screams, looking taken aback as tears streamed down your face.

"Love. Please let me explain."

"Don't fucking call me that! Only Niki can call me that!" With a sob you curled yourself into a ball. Praying for this nightmare to end. There is no way Niki is alive.

Thud. Warm blood. Gurgle.

Thud. Warm blood. Gurgle.

He was dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Another guttural sob left your mouth, holding yourself tighter in hopes that you could just disappear. You flinched as you felt at the feeling of getting touched, a hand placing itself on back. He rubbed soothing circles as he whispered into your ear, words reassuring you that it was truly him.

"I'm sorry love." At the sound of that, overwhelming thoughts to go to sleep flooded your mind. You opened your eyes, confused at what was happening as you gripped onto Niki's shirt. An apologetic look on his face before everything went black for the second time that night.

-

"I know that you pity me. Some of you feel bad because of what I witnessed. The death of my best-friend, and boyfriend. But you shouldn't. I've known him 5 years but he has made the greatest impact on me. I look at everything in a positive light because of him. I work my hardest because he constantly encouraged me to. Niki was the best person that I know and I feel as if we should all live in his honor. I'm happy that he isn't suffering. I know that Niki is happy wherever he is. And if there is a Heaven he is definitely there. Niki if you can hear me I love you. I'm so grateful that I got to know you. I'll be with you again someday. The sun will shine on us again."

-

Niki Niki💞

I took the liberty of unblocking my number

when you wake up please text me

if you give me the chance I will explain everything

Love🦦

hurry

-

Here we were. Niki sitting on the opposite side of the bed from, just looking at you. Apart of you wished that this was real. That Niki was really in front of you. Drinking in his appearance you let a sigh leave your mouth.

Niki was in front of you.

His hair hung messily in his face, now grey instead of his signature purple at the time of his 'death'. Every other part of him looked normal. A hoodie hanging off of his skin frame, the same one that he wore for soccer practice with his jersey number on the back. He hasn't aged a day.

"I know you're confused," His voice broke the silence, seemingly the only thing that has changed. Having heard it multiple times you hadn't realized that it had gotten deeper, "please just let me explain. If you want nothing to do with me afterwards I'll let you go. I just missed you."

He ran his fingers through hair, before pulling the hoodie over his head. A nervous trait of his. It's nice to see that some things never change.

"I died. I remember the fear that I had that day, how you held me tightly in your arms, choking on my own blood. I remember all of it, and I truly did die." You stared at him, more confusion after part of his explanation than you had before.

"I was scared when I woke up here. I had all of the memories of my death, but woke up with no scars. No physical sign of the accident. Heeseung was the one that comforted me. He told me that I was chosen. Talked about fate's arrows and connecting two worlds. My memory of the speech is hazy after two years." Scooting closer to you he grabbed one of your hands, intertwining your fingers.

"You've been here this whole time?" Regret shone in his eyes as he nodded, "Why didn't you tell me?" His face dropped at your voice. Desperation was clear in the way that your voice cracked.

"I couldn't. They told me I would put in danger. That you would reject what I am now."

Niki cupped your cheek wiping your stray tears. Sighing you nuzzled your face into his palm. His hand was cold. The same coldness that filled you for years after his death.

"I missed you so much. I fought myself day and night. I needed you too. I'm sorry love."

All the nights filled with tears, sobbing until your throat was sore and your head felt like it would explode from the pressure. School days filled with people staring, whispering to each other about the poor girl that witnessed her boyfriends death. Bile rising in your throat every time you ate, thoughts of Niki bleeding out in your arms, remembering scrubbing the blood off of you in the shower. You never could keep food down, rushing to the bathroom after every meal. Tears flooding your eyes as you gagged, constant flashbacks.

But Niki is here. In front of you. His hand cupping your cheek, whispering apologies into the air between you. Maybe everything would be okay.

-

It's been two years. Two years since you've found out that Niki was still alive. As a vampire, but 'alive' nonetheless.

Leaving town was always your plan. After Niki's death what was left for you in Okayama? You always thought about going to South Korea, or maybe even to America. Somewhere to get a full fresh start. Not being known as the dead boy's girlfriend. Who wasted away due to grief. Who died 3 years after his death, a brutal suicide that raked the town.

You were the real Romeo and Juliet. Two young lovers separated at 15, death forcing them to part. You never recovered from his death, so at 18 you followed him. After your funeral your family left town, not being able to bare the pain.

It was a fresh start for you. And Niki.

Your love Niki. Who laid now on your chest as you watched a movie, a cult classic funnily enough. The other members spread out on various couches. Looking down at Niki you ran your fingers through his hair, a sigh leaving his mouth as he relaxed. Grabbing your other hand Niki placed a kiss on it, a smile blossoming across your lips.

In the dead of winter, under countless moons you were together again.

-

thank you for reading this, I really hoped that you enjoyed it. I tried to make it the ending as fluffy as possible without ruining the vibe I had going for the whole oneshot. underneath of this is the alternate ending if you want to go insane read it. it does contain mentions of insanity, and self harm. you have been warned

-

It's been two years. Two years since you've found out that Niki was still alive. As a vampire, but 'alive' nonetheless.

Leaving town was always your plan. After Niki's death what was left for you in Okayama? You always thought about going to South Korea, or maybe even to America. Somewhere to get a full fresh start. Not being known as the dead boy's girlfriend. Who wasted away due to grief. Who died 3 years after his death, a brutal suicide that raked the town.

You were the real Romeo and Juliet. Two young lovers separated at 15, death forcing them to part. You never recovered from his death, so at 18 you followed him. After your funeral your family left town, not being able to bear the pain.

That’s what your parents told everyone at least.

The truth is police found you under the bleachers, writhing on the ground as you nonsensically spouted about vampires and curses. Telling everyone who listened how Niki was still alive. They would tut, turning around while mentioning how the accident affected you. Ruining you mentally. Your parents' concerns only grew when you would speak to the thin air. Claiming it was Niki. That he missed them, and wished they would allow him in the house.

You would claw at yourself to ‘feed’ Niki, blood dripping from your arms. It came to a halt when your parents walked into the house, crimson surrounding your mouth as you happily told them you had turned. You were now a vampire. You could now be with Niki forever.

They shipped you to the farthest asylum. One in Virginia, hidden away in the mountains. Far are from them. Far away from Niki.

Maybe after countless moons you’ll meet again one day. When the insanity no longer claimed your mind, and shrouded your reality.

#enhypen #enhypen angst #kpop angsts #enhypen oneshot #enhypen drabble #niki rishimura #Riki nishimura #enhypen riki #enhypen niki #kpop horror #enhypen horror

[barren-heart]

If you’re Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, or Jared Padalecki.

STOP.

Read this post.

Dear J2M,

This is an open letter for you three written by a couple of unhappy passionate fans.

We write this to you because we know at least one of you has a secret Stan account and creeps on the destiel hashtag from time to time. Don’t lie. (Ahem. Misha Collins. Looking at you, Sir.)

With the subtle hints and possibility of a revival, us here at BarrenHeart (Bee and Jay) have some thoughts on what we think a reboot/continuation/revival would look like if it was done well.

Note: we don’t speak for the whole fandom(obviously). And we don’t even speak for all of the Cas/destiel fans. This is from our observation of the fandom after 15x18 and the finale, plus our own opinions.

Here are our demands suggestions for the potential revival.

--Castiel--

First things first. Castiel is brought back.

And by that, we mean he is either shown to be rescued from the empty, Jack rescues him from the empty, or by some other means, that man is not left there to suffer for all of eternity.

Castiel is a lead character.

Not a guest star, not “and Misha Collins.” No. Misha Collins gets to be in every d*mn episode. He is an equal lead alongside Dean and Sam. Which leads into the next point.

Castiel gets his own storyline.

It can be connected to Dean in some way, but he needs his own arc, y’all. Don't care what that is, but he IS his own character. So, some form of personal growth or whatever needs to happen. He is a badass and deserves a good storyline. Also…

Give this M-- F-- (mother father) his wings back!

Yes, he died without ever having his wings return to their full power. Like? We know he was nerfed so he wouldn't overpower Sam and Dean. Prove to us that he can be a fully powered badass and still work alongside Sam and Dean. No need to get rid of that.

Human!Cas does not mean pathetic Cas.

There is a divide on whether Castiel should stay an angel. Personally, we like human Cas. However, human Cas was shafted in the series. If you make him human in any way, shape, or form, he’s gonna still have to be a badass. Don’t whimp him!

He can be a good hunter/pretend FBI agent just like Sam and Dean!

So, make him one! Let him do more cases. On his own. With other people. With Sam. With Dean. He can fight without powers, too.

Give him love!

For the love of freaking Jack, let that man know he is loved by people. Not even mentioning anything romantic, he still needs platonic love y’all. Let Sam say it, let Jack say it. Let anyone in his family tell him that he is loved. Not once in this series did Cas hear that anyone loved him. So, fix it!

New style, anyone?

Cas needs other clothes! Please now. The black trenchcoat we never saw in-show? Boss. Cas in a black leather jacket? Coolness. Hunter plaid? Do it.

Confession Resolution

Speaking of love, come to some conclusion please about him and Dean. Give a resolution somehow, somewhere. We personally don’t really care how it’s done, but there needs to be something said here. You cannot just drop a confession there and just leave like it never happened. So, talk about it.

Adding this, I swear, if this is bros only, you WILL lose Cas fans. So, think about what you’re doing.

--Sam--

Sam is important!

Now, personally we have a soft spot for Sam. His character arc in Season 1-5 was great. Demon blood, powerful Sam was amazing. So, don’t sideline Sam. Seriously. We are gonna say in an unpopular way (as if this post isn’t already unpopular to some), but Sam got sidelined real hard in the last few seasons of the show. Now, was that what Jared wanted? Don’t know. But, Sam needs his own storyline too that isn’t just revolved around Dean. Figure it out.

Witch!Sam

Speaking of which, let this man be powerful. Sam is best when he has powers. Sorry but also not. He has been given all of Rowena’s (who is arguably the best witch around) spell books and decides to not really do much with it? No. He’s becoming a BAMF witch. Full-out, no word spells and shit. End point.

Sam in Charge

He’s not just a baby brother. He’s a grown man. Give him room to grow. Allow him to be a leader. Let him lead a group of hunters, witches, a whole team of people! He’s strong on his own, too. He's a big boy. Prove it.

He should fall in love.

Like, get married and all that. It’s a part of his arc, so keep it there. No blurry wife, my god! Personally it should be Eileen. She’s a badass. They also have a lot in common! Holy hell. They make a good team. So, keep that suggestion in mind.

Let him have the hero’s journey.

We want a good ending that shows growth for this character! He saw himself as a freak with powers, so…maybe he can use his powers now in a way that in empowering instead? Let him have an ending that doesn't just return to the beginning. Let him have gone through all of this changed for the better.

Don't be creepy.

Still keep the brotherly bond with Dean, but don’t make it weird, y’all. Don’t. Please.

Sam as a dad.

He can have a kid. But, Dean Jr? Eh. You might want to reconsider some other (Bobby) possibilities.

--Dean--

Now, with Dean, I wanna make this clear.

DO NOT K word THIS MAN.

This man here has dealt with unbelievable trauma, suicidal thoughts and even almost died by suicide in the show (okay, it was for another reason, but still!) He dies way too many times in this show. It’s not new anymore. Perhaps, when the show was newer, death might have been a bittersweet ending. But, now. It’s tarnished. It happened too much and the message of “carry on” got tainted to mean “there is only peace when you die.” That’s not okay.

Resolve his issues!

He has so much pain and trauma. Let him seek help. Let your audience know that it’s okay to process these emotions. Let him heal. He deserves it.

Dean’s internal struggles

This is piggybacking a little off of point two, but Dean has a lot of things he needs to figure out. We feel like his journey is more internal. While processing his trauma, he needs to learn that it's okay to be himself. This could include things about himself that he feels ashamed of or scared to admit. Things he may have repressed or suppressed over time. No more hiding who he is or brushing it off or making jokes. Be your true self, Dean. It's time.

Dean’s still important, of course

That said, Dean should still be integral to the overall narrative of the plot. Of course he's gonna go head to head with the Big Bad of the season/limited series, but he really should focus on what's inside first before he can take this monster down.

The Bro bond

No more dependent/unhealthy bond with Sam. Of course they are family and brothers, and will always be close. That's perfectly fine. However, its important to note that Dean was Sam’s mom/Dad most of his whole life. And, well, that never came to a resolution. Please let Dean resolve this issue. Sam is grown and older now, and even though Dean will always feel protective of him as his Big brother, Dean shouldn't feel like his life only revolves around taking care of Sam. There is more to Dean and his life.

Dean is complex

Also, Dean is not only about cars, burgers, and pie. It's like some of the writers forgot this. There are so many things/interests of Dean’s that are really cool and add to the complexity of his character. Keep those things.

He needs to resolve his issue with Jack.

He never said sorry to the kid. Not once after telling Sam that Jack wasn't family. He needs to tell Jack he is loved.

Speaking of which, Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him.

Okay. Who knows if you will make destiel reciprocal at this point.

Do we think Dean would have reciprocated based on context clues and what we have seen in the show? Yes.

Do we think this love is romantic? Yes.

Do we think you'll actually fully make it canon in a reboot/continuation? Eh.

Regardless, Dean loves Cas, so make it known.

Other demands considerations.

‘The found family’ needs to not be forgotten.

All the friends that were made along the way need to be included. What happened with Garth was great, actually. Do more of that. And by that, we mean include Jody and Donna. What are the girls doing now? Wayward sisters anyone? Bring Kevin back. Don't leave him to roam the earth all along like that. Either make him human again like Eileen or send him to rest in Heaven.

Where’s Eileen?

Hello??? Where? Tell us she made it back.

Claire

No idea if you can get Kathryn Newton back, but it would be cool at least for one episode. Please. Kaia? Resolve her storyline.

Also, Charlie.

Wtf happened? That was not resolved. We love Felicia Day. Charlie’s friendship with Dean is amazing. She deserves a few episodes.

Crowley!

Seriously. What happened to Mark was super disappointing. You gotta bring him back. His death wasn't great. Bring him back and give him his damn line already!

Jack!

I'm not fully on the Baby!Jack train, but he does deserve a normal life. He's three years old technically. He had no normal life whatsoever. He deserves that. So, give him that.

More Rowena please!

That's it. She's awesome.

Have a wedding.

No, really. Someone's gotta get married. Our pick: Sam and Eileen. Charlie is also a good contender for having a wedding with her partner, too. So there. Weddings are happy. We want a happy ending.

I will reiterate. Team free will lives. That's it.

Okay. Now, moving on to the next part of this. The elephant in the room. The thing a lot of us actually want from this, but frankly, we aren't sure if you'll do it.

Explicit Destiel.

If you've read this far J2M, then you're probably wondering when this was going to be addressed. So, here are the stipulations on destiel.

Go big or go home.

Yep. We said it. Make it explicit, full out, no ambiguity.

Honestly, you might be thinking what you could do to make it explicitly canon? Well, since there were tons of people who still think Cas’ love confession was just a platonic exchange between two bros (like wtf? How?), you're gonna have to spell it out for people.

But, some things that we may perceive as romantic, some people may not.

--Like, holding hands could be considered platonic between two men to some people.

--Cheek kissing could also be considered platonic to some people.

Not to say we need Jensen and Misha doing full on *** scenes to prove anything, but something more than a hand hold. Okay? Okay.

What we’re saying is basically, you're gonna have to kiss. On the lips. Yep.

So...I guess you'll have to figure out how you want to do that.

On when to make it canon:

You can decide if it makes sense to make it canon towards the beginning or towards the end. Honestly, there could be an argument for either. If it's made canon earlier, you could prove there can be a relationship alongside the main storyline. If you wait until the end, you'll leave fans wondering if you'll actually do it. But, the kiss being the major event of the finale could be worth it. Whichever you do, remember there are upsides and downsides to both.

Other other considerations:

Just realize who your fanbase is now. We’ve grown and changed. Like Becky, your fans have gone through a huge change in what they want from the show. Is the fandom all on the same page? Nope. Will they ever be? No.

You will not please everyone. That's a given. But, a lot of fans want to see the show wrap up in a better way than what we got. Destiel fans aside, the finale was not great overall. There are plenty of negative finale reviews that have nothing to do with destiel.

On top of that, society is changing. Slowly. The attitudes in regards to lgbtq media is quite different than before. You have the chance to make history. Really. If you make this canon, that will be a part of your legacy. You'll hit the news. I mean, 15x18 wasn't even the finale and it trended #1 that day.

We suggest that if you do decide to make it canon, it’s meaningful and you take the time to do it right.

So, consider your fans. Consider the part of the fandom that trended your show over the election. Consider the fans that trended a fictional wedding on Valentine's Day. Consider Misha/Cas fans who felt slighted. Consider your LGBTQA + fans. Just, think about what the reboot could achieve. What it could mean to a lot of people.

As always, we just want happiness and peace when we are done.

Thanks for reading Misha J2M.

Sincerely,

Bee 🐝 and Jay 🐦

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #spn #deancas #dean x castiel #misha collins

[moonice20408]

Dream Analysis for Mary.

Quick intro, I don’t completely give into the idea of dream theory. But, I think it’s a good look into a persons psyche. People experience things differently, and interpretate things differently, so the brain is going to have different reasoning behind everything in a dream, depending on your own life experiences. Which is why I don’t think dream analysis is a ‘one size fits all’ thing, I just find it interesting in itself. And since we don’t really know a lot about Mary, this was just something for me to do to kill a few hours.

Also I wrote this pretty quickly.

Without proof reading… 

Sooooo…

 ! Slight spoilers ahead !

I’m working in the fields, like, digging up the carrots, when in the distance, I see a man. His eyes and his mouth are wide open and he’s pointing at me. And then I feel something moving in my hand and I look down… It is the carrots. They have become like newborn babes, crying and squirming their roots around my fingers. And I look back up and now, very slowly, the man comes towards me, but he does not walk. His feet, stay together, dragging through the soil. And still he’s pointing at me. And I try to breathe in to scream, but I cannot, and my mouth fills with dirt. And now the man’s on fire.

And that’s when I wake up.

‘Working in the fields, digging up the carrots’

Personally, I don’t think there’s too much to look at here. Working in the fields was probably most of what Mary did, and the setting of the dream is just likely to be somewhere that was familiar/safe/comfortable to her while she was alive.

However, depending on the state of the field, it can represent different things. Considering that she was working in the dream, I’m going to assume that the field was growing healthily and was in the state she would expect it to be. Meaning this could represent her own personal growth in some way, or the possibility of a rise to fortune and to places of honour.

Crops themselves, again, represent growth. In the sense that you have put your time and effort into something, and it has paid off in the end. Singling out carrots signifies abundance and fertility. To me this could mean that, while alive, Mary’s field was doing well, and there was a good likelihood she would be able to make some more money from her work.

The idea of digging though, can suggest that someone is trying to find out about themselves, giving meaning to the phrase ‘digging into their lives’. It suggests that maybe Mary was preoccupied with her own identity and reputation, or trying to get to the root of an issue. Perhaps she knew there were rumours being to spread about her, as to why the field she was working in was doing so well. Maybe a jealous neighbour’s field was not as successful, and could not believe any reason other than witchcraft could be the reason why.

‘I see a man.’

Seeing an unknown man represents how you view men in general. And given that this is Mary we’re talking about, and from what she’s said in other episode, we’re most likely looking at very old-fashioned/traditional masculine traits. Men were seen to be more dominating, powerful, assertive, etc. What they said was right, and Mary probably didn’t question it very much, or kept her opinions to herself.

I’m assuming, that since Mary did just refer to this person as ‘a man’, that it wasn’t someone she knew. So looking in to the meaning of seeing a ‘figure’ in a dream, it indicates that she was possibly facing some confusion and ambiguity about her life. Going back to the idea of her knowing about the rumours spreading about her, if it were a man who started it, or she heard it from, it could represent a confusion in believing it. She defiantly believes in witchcraft, and if a man is suggesting she is one, it probably would be a confusing thing for her, because she’d been raised to believe in what men say and not to question it, but knowing she isn’t a witch and hasn’t preformed any witchcraft.

‘His eyes and his mouth are wide open and he’s pointing at me’

I think the meaning her is probably the most obvious. The expression of the man is one of shock or fear, so I think this is representing the accusations of her being a witch. The focus on his eyes to me means he may have seen something, the mouth could mean he’s said something himself, or heard someone say something, and those thing have lead to the conclusion of Mary being a witch.

The actual symbolism of eyes I looked into tended more to focus on a persons own eyes then someone else’s. What I did find was quite literal, in the sense that seeing eyes means that you feel as though you are being watched. Could be true, if accusations against Mary had been made, it’s extremely likely people around her were watching her and she knew it. Or maybe she was just very cautious of herself, and had become more aware of her own actions.

The closest thing I found to a single person looking at her was ‘eye contact’. In a dream this can indicate you’re looking for a connection. Maybe this could lean into the idea that she’s trying to connect with this man, or all men, in a way for them to see her for what she really is, not a witch. This also made me think about the fact that Mary’s husband dies before her, so she likely doesn’t have a male figure in her life to defend her, which back in those days, she would’ve needed. Maybe if her husband died not long before this, people would have used that against her too.

Seeing a mouth in a dream can suggest a number of things. The ones I think relate most to Mary are that, there is a need to express yourself, or that you’ve said too much and need to be quiet. The first being the obvious need to tell people she isn’t a witch. But, going back to the traditional gender roles at the time, Mary probably knew it wouldn’t do any good. What she thought or said wouldn’t matter, and if she did speak out, it would make it worse. Look at her reaction to seeing an episode of loose women. I thought maybe the second interpretation could relate to her, if there was maybe something she remembered saying, and thought that that could be the reason the accusations started. Like I said, she for sure believes in witchcraft, and it may be a internalised victim blaming situation.

Which links to the symbolism of the pointing finger. To see this signifies a feeling of guilt and self-blame. You’ve done something, and are afraid of exposure. The story of her husband came to mind when I saw this. Mary’s incredibly superstitious, and to this day believes that because of something she didn’t do at her wedding, it is the reason her husband died 3 years later. If there was something she said or did, even if it were years before, she could link that to the idea of her being a witch. Maybe even believing the accusations herself with her own reasoning.

‘They have become like newborn babes’

Fair to say there is nothing about carrot-baby hybrids themselves, so I just stuck with babies. But babies in dreams have a lot of interpretations, so I tried to focus on the ones that I could best link to Mary in some way. So, holding a baby suggests that a person is longing for an earlier part of their life, when they felt needed. This could possibly mean there was a time when Mary was needed by someone, but feels like no one needs her anymore or at the end of her life. We don’t know much about Mary’s family, so it’s hard to say.

A baby crying symbolises the feeling that some part of you needs to be nurtured. Personally, I think this relates to her fear of the unknown. She takes comfort in blessing the house after the woodworm men have left, and when she was alive, there would have been many people around her who would have the same ideals. The other ghosts and Alison don’t hold the same believes, and don’t really take her seriously with them, so her fear often runs wild. She relaxed when Pat explained how the camera worked, and she got quite involved after, because she understood it (in her own way at least) so wasn’t scared anymore.

Dreaming about an extremely small baby symbolises a feeling of helplessness. I think this makes sense with Mary’s way of thinking. Being a poor woman in the Stuart era would have been hard enough, but if there were rumours about her, she probably knew there wouldn’t be anything she could do to change peoples minds.

‘His feet, stay together, dragging through the soil.’

This was a difficult part to look into, because almost everything I could find do with feet/legs not moving or the motion of dragging, all focused on it happening to the person dreaming. So a lot of this is just my own interpretation of what I found. I also think this is more of a twisted memory of what happened to her husband- who we know was crushed by a plough.

Mary specifically mentioned the mans feet staying together, so when looking into the symbolism of feet, I found that they can represent independence and freedom. I took this to mean that Mary feels her freedom is being controlled by this man, or men in general. The fact his feet aren’t moving maybe suggests that Mary’s future is no longer moving forward. Concentrating on other peoples feet in a dream can suggest you are concerned about their movements. This makes perfect sense to me, as Mary would be more than concerned about this mans next move, knowing the punishment for witchcraft.

‘my mouth fills with dirt.’

This is probably the only part of the dream that I agree with the psychology of it 100%. To dream your mouth is full, indicates that you’re unable to express your thoughts and feelings. Mary knows that even if she were to challenge what people are saying about her, it wouldn’t do any good. And most likely make the situation worse. And what is in your mouth is a metaphor for what it is that you want to process.

So, looking into the meaning of ‘dirt’, I found it represents situations that are ‘less than honourable’, and that it suggests you may be trying to cover up poor behaviour. I think this links back to the idea of Mary herself believing she was capable of witchcraft. We know she does believe in it to begin with, so that would be a ‘less then honourable’ thing for her, definitely. But if she also thinks that her husbands death was caused by not breaking the cake at her wedding, or maybe another situation in which she did or said something, then she can’t believe that it isn’t a coincidence. She’s involved with these situations, which in reality was just a run of bad luck (again, we don’t know how long she died after her husband, so maybe it was just that), but her being at the centre of everything is enough to convince even herself. Maybe she never told anyone they didn’t break cake at the wedding, so for Mary that’s ‘covering up poor behaviour’, and she just feels guilty about it.

‘And now the man’s on fire. And that’s when I wake up.’

Fire is also something that has dozens of meanings when looking into dream meanings. Annihilation, desire, longing, radiance, sanitisation, transformation, insight, rage… But honestly I think it is just the reliving of her death. Possibly the idea of transformation, the end of her old life, and the start of her new one- ‘that’s when I wake up’. The whole dream to me symbolises the lead up to her death, and the fire simply came at the end of it.

So thanks if you actually read this, I would love to hear other people thoughts on this!!

#op #bbc #bbc ghosts #mary #dream theory #dream analysis #katy wix #alison cooper #mike cooper #robin #plague ghosts #headless humphrey #humphrey bone #kitty #thomas thorne #lady button #fanny button #captain #pat butcher #julian fawcett #ghosts

[sylvie--laufeydottir]

an obligatory analysis of sylvie’s character (aka: who betrayed who?)

in case you can’t tell, i like sylvie. but here’s a big fuckin post where i share my thoughts on her role in the finale in a sort of disjointed kind of way.

NOTE: this isn’t about sylki. i don’t ship it personally, but that isn’t really relevant to this at all. this also doesn’t go into the criticisms i have of the show because this isn’t really the place for that. maybe i can do that later, whatever.

also, this is gonna be a long post. i have a lot of thoughts.

sylvie’s introduction and motivations

one of the first things we learn about sylvie is her opposition to the tva. (okay, it’s literally the first thing, whatever.) in episode 3, we get to see her entire plan - overthrow whoever’s running the tva, and... that’s it. loki questions her about the power vacuum that would leave, to which she shows that she’s not interested in running the tva. (this is also stated in ep 2.) her goals are clear. she wants rid of the entire organisation, and doesn’t care about or want the sort of power that would come with pulling the strings.

her reasoning for this seems pretty simple. she doesn’t want the power ruling the tva would entail because she knows what it’s like to be on the other end of that deal. she had everything taken from her as a child, and doesn’t want that to happen to anybody else. she believes that that kind of power belongs to nobody, not even herself.

this easily establishes her as a character who, despite having an ego, has principles that trump everything else. she’s very dedicated to her cause; the ‘never at the expense of the mission’ line in ep 3 just states it out loud. her entire life has been dedicated to this cause. this is a good time to segue into the next section...

sylvie’s personality, character and flaws

she’s fuckin stabby.

despite only really being present for 4 out of the 6 episodes of the show, we manage to get a pretty good idea of sylvie’s personality right from the start thanks to episode 3 being largely a character study with both her and loki. she’s shown as a very competent and strong character - however, contrary to marvel’s guidebook on writing female characters, those aren’t personality traits. what we actually see of her is that she’s very confident, and has a tendency to be rude or dismissive of other people. episode 3 has a bunch of examples of this, but the easiest one to point to is the fireworks scene. after loki does something nice to cheer her up, something which visibly works, her response is to waive it away as ‘not bad’.

her coldness in this scene even after bonding with loki is likely due to her upbringing. sylvie spent the majority of her life, including her childhood, on the run, unable to form relationships with people who weren’t moments away from dying. it feels a bit redundant for me to point this out, but this is, as they say in the medical field, mega fucking traumatic. not only did sylvie not have the opportunity to form these kinds of connections, she couldn’t even develop the ability to form them. loki is a bandaid to cover a bullet hole in this regard, one she needs years to heal from. while she does bond with him to an extent, she is physically unable to trust him to the point where they can be considered close.

another thing we learn about sylvie is that she’s very violent - and that she enjoys it. being a character that grew up running from an organisation that wanted her dead, it makes sense for her first instinct to be confrontational. however, despite having to fight to survive, she visibly takes pleasure from fighting. this was brought up in an interview with sophia (that i am not going to link here, because tumblr is kind of a hellsite and i’m not in the mood for that today). here’s a nice extract instead.

“She's not trained like Loki is,” Di Martino continues. “She can't do some of the flourishes that he would, but she's figured out how to brawl. She's a street fighter and she loves it. That was a really great key to unlocking part of Sylvie for me, was how much she just loves a fight. She knows that she's either going to win, or if she isn't going to win, she'll survive. She's that damaged character who's dangerous because she knows she can survive.”

her tendency towards violence is actually a key part of sylvie’s character. this works as both a strength and a flaw. on the one hand, she’s able to survive scrapes most other characters wouldn’t, and she knows that. she’s not one to freeze in most (note: most) scenarios, because she knows what to expect. on the other hand, violence isn’t always the answer, and she’s very unlikely to consider any other option than a fight.

her enchantment abilities tie into this - they’re another weapon for her to use, and one she’s not afraid to call on. however, her eagerness to enchant people without hesitation puts her in a pretty bad place morally. her enchantment clearly leaves hunter c-20 traumatised, and yet she’s more than willing to enchant people for the sake of the mission. she’s also relatively dismissive of human sentient lives. an early example of this is in episode 2, where loki asks her if the person she had enchanted was dead, to which she responds with a casual ‘they usually survive’. additionally, she’s more than willing to fight the guards on the train in episode 3, despite them seeing her as a threat for completely understandable reasons.

in the case of the guards, her reasoning for placing such little value on their lives is likely that they’re about to die anyways. everyone on lamentis is doomed, so from her point of view, whether they die at her hands or at the hands of the moon from majora’s mask isn’t really important. however, c-20 is a different story. sylvie places next to no value on the lives of the tva’s workers, content to slaughter them en masse for the sake of her goal. this is despite her knowing that every one of the tva workers is a variant plucked from the sacred timeline. this sets up a weird sort of transactional nature in how sylvie views other people - to her, they’re less important than the mission, and she doesn’t hesitate to eliminate threats.

was this a long section? this was a long section. i would like to call back to the fact that this is not a sylki post for this next part. and also to praise anyone that got this far, because fucking hell, is this excessively long or what? who would have the time to write this out?

sylvie’s bond with loki

i want to go back to that whole thing about her relationship with loki. he’s the first person she’s really spoken to since she was a child who isn’t about to face imminent death. furthermore, despite their differences, they have quite a lot in common - enough to hit it off surprising well for two people who kind of want to kill each other. they’re able to relate on common ground like frigga, and even though they clash due to loki’s initial carelessness, they’re overall able to get along well enough aside from occasional bickering. the blanket scene from episode 5 is probably the best example of this. sylvie allows herself, albeit briefly, to be vulnerable around loki.

except, not really. one of the first things she does is tries to ensure he won’t betray her. i’ve seen somebody cite this before as proof that her fondness towards him isn’t real, and that she was planning on betraying him from the start, hence why it was on her mind. that’s definitely possible, but i think it’s far more likely that it’s just her difficulties connecting to people stopping her from feeling safe around him even as they share a nice moment. she really does seem to care about loki - an easy example of this is her asking how he is during episode 4 without being prompted. she’s just unable to properly process these kinds of feelings due to an incomprehensible amount of trauma. as loki puts it, she can’t trust.

and loki can’t be trusted. she knows - or at least, thinks she knows - his nature as a trickster and a villain. loki embodies a part of sylvie that she considers herself completely separate from; the tva-approved liar whose purpose is to bring out the best in others. while she does show him more decency than to treat him like that, at the end of the day, he represents something that makes her deeply uncomfortable, hence her rejection of the loki name. despite what they have in common, loki is an incredibly difficult person to trust, especially for somebody who has deep-rooted trust issues. so, this brings us onto...

who betrayed who?

so, sylvie and loki make it to kang’s castle. after all this time, she’s finally about to reach her life’s goal. she’s clearly nervous - this is out of her comfort zone, unlike most fights. loki reassures her, and they head in. they meet kang, learn the true nature of the tva, have the opportunity to kill him...

and loki stops her.

loki’s motivations are left ambiguous. the uncharitable interpretation is that he wants to rule the tva for himself, as per kang’s offer. he’s expressed such an interest to sylvie before. for the loki we know in avengers 1, this seems perfectly in character.

however, for the loki we’ve seen in the show, there’s a different option. he believes kang’s threat that there are multiple of him, and that killing him won’t solve anything. to him, he isn’t willing to risk unknown horrors for the sake of taking his revenge out on kang. this is the loki who offered diplomacy and guile to counteract sylvie’s brute force.

but sylvie, who can’t trust, assumes the worst.

to her, loki was the one who betrayed her. they had a plan - find whoever pulls the strings, and destroy them. to her, loki’s hesitation isn’t caution, but treachery. taking kang’s offer to rule the tva is exactly what she thinks she should’ve expected from the guy who hurts everybody who loves him. her fight or flight responses kick in, and she chooses the one she always chooses. loki’s attempts to reassure her fall on deaf ears, not just because she doesn’t want to trust him, but because she’s physically incapable of it. she makes the short-sighted decision of brute force, just like she did back on lamentis, because it’s all she’s ever known, and the cause she’s dedicated her life to.

from the outside, it looks like sylvie was the one who betrayed loki, but things look pretty different from where she’s standing.

this is why i take issue with people calling sylvie a ‘villain’ or questioning whether this was her plan for the start. in my opinion, her motivations line up pretty clearly as a creature of habit, one who panics at the first hint of smoke and pushes away the first person she’s been able to bond with for the sake of self-preservation. did she make the wrong decision? unquestionably - the effects of her actions will no doubt plague the multiverse (and the mcu, for us) for as long as they go unchecked. but she made the only decision she was capable of making, and that’s not villainous, just tragic.

conclusion

well, this is a kind of depressing way to finish this post. for what it’s worth, though, i don’t think sylvie is a doomed character. regardless of how brief it was, she did show a real connection with loki. just because something requires a lot of healing doesn’t make it impossible. this is why i like sylvie as a character so much; she’s deeply flawed and complex, but that complexity makes her interesting, and relatable. marvel has a long history of sexy lamps and supposed ‘tortured backstories’, but sylvie is the first time they paid attention to this with their character writing without having to give somebody a wholeass prequel movie. with loki confirmed to appear in multiverse of madness, i’m hoping we see more of sylvie - not as a villain, but as a hero who can overcome her past experiences and rise to better things.

or maybe another kang shows up and kills her immediately. who knows.

#sylvie #sylvie laufeydottir #loki #loki theory #loki analysis #loki series #long post #like really fucking long #i’m so sorry for this #not a gif

[arabian-bloodstream]

I saw ‘Annette.’ I haz thoughts

(Reposting since this just dropped on Prime.) This movie was brilliant. I can't wait to watch again because the brilliance of it didn't really truly hit until the final scene. It was in that final scene when it all came together. Leos Carax didn't waste a single frame, a single line of dialogue, music, etc.

There are MAJOR SPOILERS!!

The performances were brilliant all around. Adam was fantastic. Simon Helberg's stand-out scene with his solo was absolutely stellar, at turns funny and heartbreaking. Marion Cotillard was beautiful and haunting. Devyn McDowell as the (finally) human Annette was wonderful, holding her own against Adam Driver while singing!

Henry McHenry truly is a monster. I mentioned above that Carax didn't waste a line. Henry mentioned in his comedy act early on that he became a comedian to say things he could say without being hated/judged. He says awful things. And there are so many little things that point to that he IS a monster so that...

* When Ann dies it's a little ambiguous. There *is* a storm. He is drunk. He isn't in full control of his facilities.

* When Baby Annette begins singing, it's less ambiguous, he *is* using her, but it's still a miraculous thing and Simon Helberg's character, the Conductor, is in on it because sharing the miracle of Baby Annette with the world is amazing.

* When Henry finds out that the Conductor could likely be Annette's father and that the knowledge of it could take away his free ride, he murders him. Yeah, no ambiguity there.

So after Henry has been outed and is in prison, Annette comes to visit. Up to this point, Annette has been varying aged up freaky looking puppets (like a female version of Chucky, but less malevolent like). Henry points out she looks different, the puppet-Annette sitting in from of him agrees, but the voice comes from across the room and lo and behold! It's an actual little girl standing there.

The rest of the scene continues between Henry and this real girl and I was astounded. Everything fell into place. Annette told him it was good he was in prison because he couldn't kill anymore. She also told him he couldn't love anymore. He tried to tell her he could love her. But she wouldn't let him love her. They began to sing. She wanted to forget, couldn't forgive both of her parents. He didn't want Ann blamed. It was a back and forth, beautifully done. Young Devyn held her own so well opposite Adam. He again tried to tell her he could love her, but no, no, she would not let him.

What was so incredibly powerful about this scene, how this scene and how it ended once Annette left -- which I will not describe -- is that it brought the entire film into focus. Everything made sense. Prior to this scene, Annette was a puppet because the entire film up until this scene was from HENRY's POINT OF VIEW.

Remember when I said that at the top that "Leos Carax didn't waste a single frame, a single line of dialogue, music, etc. " That's where this really comes into play.

The film begins with the director, Sparks, cast and crew singing "So May We Start," let's break a few things down in there. First of all, Adam is the first actor who sings, and more importantly the first character that is addressed is his character, Henry McHenry... meaning it is HIS story that we're watching unfold. And almost every single scene includes Henry, focuses on Henry, but if you look at the scenes that don't... ah! That's when the latter scenes come into play and show that, yes, it's ALL from Henry's point of view indeed.

The Conductor's solo scenes has information that, again, in retrospect we know that Henry must have known from Ann. Henry knew, Henry absolutely knew...

All of Ann's opera scenes focus on her dying because Henry's jealousy grows and grows until he's ready to take her out, and his love for her becomes twisted into monstrous hatred. And in retrospect, no, her death was not ambiguous, he meant for her to die, absolutely.

Then there is Ann's #MeToo dream, why that? Well, again, Henry's point of view. Take that scene paired with Henry's later scene when he's surrounding himself with all of the different women. Ann's dream was foreshadowing Henry's treatment of her, and paired with his callousness towards women in the latter scene, how he has always used and manipulated people.

Which brings us to who Henry is as a user and a abuser. Someone who used everyone as puppets. He manipulated everyone, using them to do what he wanted, to make him happy, to give him what he wanted, to thrill him, to give him a high. His back-up singers. His audiences. Ann. The Conductor (who didn't even have a name, he was just "my conductor friend"), and then, of course, Annette. Annette was literally a puppet.

Annette was LITERALLY Henry's puppet until the final scene when he was locked away and he could use her no more. That is when she was finally able to be a real girl, when she broke free from him and it was no longer Henry's story. She was no longer his puppet.

Aah, so brilliant. So beautiful.

A few random comments...

- Many reviews tended to downplay Marion’s performance and the character of Ann. I disagree. I think that Marion did an amazing job and I think that Ann was essential to the plot in every way. She drove every single thing that happened. And if Marion had not played every note, every beat as beautifully, perfectly as she did, it wouldn't have landed as beautifully, as perfectly as it did. She was the beautiful force that drove Henry to look into the abyss... which was his own dark soul. And Marion played the light and dark so beautifully. She was radiant in life, and an avenging angel in death.

- The song "We Love Each Other So Much" that I didn't think much of when I listened to some of the soundtrack, I remember remarking that I hoped it worked better in the context of the film. It does. It DOES SO MUCH. It's absolutely perfect in the context of the film, and then is a sucker-punch when it's true origin is revealed later.

- The courthouse scene was the first (but not the last) time I teared up. Henry desperately searching for, singing to the sweet Ann, but in the end, the vengeful Ann found him. So, so well done.

It was also great in that we saw some truth from Henry by admitting that he couldn't tell the truth. In the beginning, he had told the audience that he used comedy to tell the truth because he wouldn't be hated or judged (before, of course, he was). But in the courtroom, he knew that he couldn't do that. Because in telling the truth in the courtroom he had no puppets, he had no one he could use or manipulate. There was no "clap, clap, clap," no "laugh, laugh, laugh." Telling the truth in the courtroom, he WOULD be judged and he knew that.

So that was so powerful and once he admitted that truth, it was as if the guilt swamped him because he went searching for the sweet Ann to release him from his guilt, but he couldn't reach her, of course. There was a barrier between them. She was so, so far away. Ah, but then the vengeful Ann showed up, and she was closer, nearer and no barrier stood between her and Henry as she vowed to haunt him in prison for the rest of his life. The guilt had taken hold.

- Now why was Ann always eating an apple? Because of Eve. Eve ate the apple because she was tempted by the devil. Henry is the devil. Henry is evil, a monster. That's why we saw Ann always eating an apple. And in her solo song, she was describing the sweet, innocent girl--the voice of an angel, a good girl, who was used and abused by men when she came into her beauty. At the end of that scene, then who showed up when she had Annette protectively with her? Henry, looking quite malevolent indeed.

- The mark on Henry's face -- which one critic was like 'wtf? is up with that? random! -- was there all along, but really became noticeable after Henry killed Ann and kept growing. Was it an outward reflection of Henry's guilt over what he had done to Ann? No. Henry always had that mark on his face. We just didn't know that until the final scene because prior to that it, we'd only seen Henry's version of himself, not the REAL Henry. Think of it, Annette was barely older than we'd last seen her before he was jailed when she went to see him in prison, but Henry looked SO different. Why? Because that was the REAL Henry McHenry. Not the stylized, romantic version of himself that we'd seen through his eyes. After he killed Ann we started to see him look more and more like the real Henry. In prison, that was the real Henry.

Again, this film was just absolutely magnificent. I simply can't wait to watch it again. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

#annette #adam driver #marion cotillard #simon helberg #sparks #leos carax #film review

[septembercfawkes]

The Technicalities of Writing Thoughts

On a few occasions, I've been asked how to actually write thoughts on the page in a story. If you are newer to writing, this can be confusing for several reasons (and you'll see why by the end of this article).

Just to clarify, this post isn't about what makes one passage of introspection better than another, or how to keep a moment of introspection interesting. If you want to learn about that, check out my articles "How to Write Excellent Introspection" and "Breaking Writing Rules Right: 'Never Open with Introspection.'" No, this post is about actually writing character thoughts on the page. Even if you already know how to do that, this topic may be worth a review. And who knows, I might cover some points you didn't know, you didn't know.

A Quick Breakdown of Point of View

Before getting your character's thoughts on the page, it's helpful to know what point of view you are writing in. So real quick:

In first person, the character is telling the story. This uses "I" in the narration. This means the character's thoughts are right there in the text (generally speaking, though there are exceptions and we could get more complicated).

In third person, the prose is slightly more distant, like the audience is following a specific character around. This uses "he" or "she" (or some agender pronoun) and not "I" in the narration. In third person, it's possible to write very distant and objective, so the text never shares the character's thoughts--it's like watching a movie. Some crime fiction is traditionally written this way. But today, that approach isn't very popular; usually, at least some of the viewpoint character's thoughts are on the page.

Today, in third person, you will almost always be telling the story from one character's head at a time. You can have more than one viewpoint character in the story, but it's (almost always) one specific viewpoint character's perspective per scene or chapter.

Omniscient is an ambiguous term--it gets defined slightly differently depending on who you talk to. But most people explain that in omniscient, the author can zoom in and out of any characters' heads within a matter of paragraphs or sentences. Omniscient isn't very popular today, but it isn't necessarily "wrong."

Writers can also technically use second person point of view, as well. This is where "you" is used in the narration. This almost never works in fiction, and is best left for writing instructions ("First, you take out the product. Then you insert the batteries").

This is just a brief overview. If you want to learn more about any of the viewpoints, you can find articles in my Writing Tip Index.

A Quick Breakdown of Point of View Penetration

Point of view is about more than simply picking first, second, third, or omniscient. It's also about how deep you get into that character's perspective.

As I mentioned above, you could technically write a third person story that never shares the viewpoint character's thoughts. This is the most distant option. It's like the audience is witnessing what the characters do, but never gets access to any of their minds.

Point of view penetration is really a spectrum. As far as I've discovered, it really has four points. Here they are from most distant to closest.

(Point 1) Out of breath, Todd wiped the sweat off his face and fanned himself. He got a glass of cold water.

(Point 2) Todd was thinking about how hot it was outside as he got a glass of cold water.

(Point 3) It's freaking hot outside, Todd thought, like the devil's oven. He got a glass of cold water, even though it wouldn't do anything to fight the heat. Better than nothing, Todd thought.

(Point 4) It was freaking hot outside. Like the devil's oven. A glass of cold water wouldn't do squat, but it was better than nothing.

Notice the first example shows that Todd thinks it's hot from the outside--but we never get in his head. In the last example, the prose takes on his thoughts and attitude and we know he thinks it's hot from the inside.

POV penetration is one of the reasons it can seem a little confusing on how to actually write thoughts on the page . . . because there are several ways.

And one thing I must mention is that most stories will use different levels of penetration--zooming in and out, so to speak.

You can learn more about point of view penetration in my article here. (And trust me, that's not a term you want to google 😬)

Writing Characters' Thoughts

How you actually write character thoughts in a story, depends on the point of view you are using and how deep the POV goes.

Some people say that POV penetration doesn't apply to first person--I actually think it does, though the blanket statement sounds nice.

Let's go through penetration points 2 - 4 and talk about the technicalities.

Please note that on a sentence-by-sentence level, third person and omniscient usually sound the same, so to distinguish them, I've included two characters' minds in the omniscient examples.

Point 2

This is sorta like summary, and really, it's telling. The text simply tells the audience what the character is thinking in general. This means it doesn't need any kind of special treatment.

First Person: As I did the dishes, I thought about last spring when Sparky died.

Third Person: As Kacie did the dishes, she thought about last spring when Sparky died.

Omniscient: As Kacie did the dishes, she thought about last spring when Sparky died, while Jasper thought about football.

Point 3

In the writing world, people refer to Point 3 as "direct thoughts" (which I think is kinda misleading since Point 4 is arguably "direct thoughts" as well, but whatever--it's important you understand the terminology).

Technically, this is handled like dialogue. The only difference is that instead of using quotes, you use italics. If you can't italicize (if you are writing by hand for example), then you underline instead.

Just like dialogue, you have what's being "said" (in this case, thought), and you may have a "tag" (the part that tells you who is "saying" it). How you punctuate this is exactly the same way you punctuate dialogue.

This means you can have no tag:

"I'm hungry and tired."

I'm hungry and tired.

You can technically have a tag in the beginning (less common).

She said, "I'm hungry and tired."

She thought, I'm hungry and tired.

You can have a tag in the middle of a complete sentence.

"I'm hungry," she said, "and tired."

I'm hungry, she thought, and tired.

You can have a tag at the end of a complete sentence.

"I'm hungry and tired," she said.

I'm hungry and tired, she thought.

To learn more about how to punctuate Point 3, visit my article "How to Punctuate Dialogue," as they are essentially the same.

First Person: The consensus in the writing world is that you don't use Point 3 when writing first person, because the narration is already always in that character's thoughts.

Personally, I think this is a flawed argument, as you could just as well write third person without ever using Point 3, and can probably do the same with omniscient if you are really really clever (much more tricky), and I have occasionally seen Point 3 used in first person, back in the day. But as I am not the authority of the writing world, what I think probably isn't that important.

If you want to play it safe, you probably don't want to use Point 3. However, just as a demonstration of the wild side, here is how it would technically look:

I'm freaking exhausted, I thought.

One may argue that you can cut the tag and have the same effect:

I was freaking exhausted.

But you can do the exact same thing in third person:

I'm freaking exhausted, he thought. --> He was freaking exhausted.

So . . . I'll stop there, but I think this tool could be used for other effects, but again, I'm not the authority of the writing world. Maybe I'll share more of my thoughts on this another day--I think it's more about how much distance you want.

Third Person: I'm freaking exhausted, he thought.

Omniscient: I'm freaking exhausted, he thought, as he gently passed the salt and pepper to Jen. Jen swiped them up. He could at least have the decency to pretend to be listening, she thought.

Worth noting is that if you happen to be writing characters who are telepathic, Point 3 is usually where those characters have conversations:

He's lying to us, I told Michael.

You're being paranoid, he thought back.

Point 4

This is the deepest level. At Point 4, the prose takes on the thoughts and attitudes of the character.

In first person, it is argued that you are doing this all the time.

But if you are writing in third person or omniscient, you can also do this. You just might have to be a little more careful with transitions.

Because the prose takes on the attitudes of the viewpoint character, you don't need to italicize or use a tag or even use the words "thought" or "think." However, using those things can help transition the reader into Point 4 (more on that in a sec).

First Person: It was freaking hot outside. Like the devil's oven. A glass of cold water wouldn't do squat, but it was better than nothing.

Third Person: It was freaking hot outside. Like the devil's oven. A glass of cold water wouldn't do squat, but it was better than nothing.

Omniscient: Todd stepped outside. It was freaking hot. Like the devil's oven. Cold water wouldn't do squat, but it was better than nothing. He unscrewed his water bottle. Humming, Jen followed him through the door. She breathed in the flowery scents of summer. It was the perfect day for a bike ride. As a teen in Southern Utah, she'd spent long days riding the trail along the river. Todd was in for a real treat.

Transitions

Because first person is written from within the character's mind, it can be easier to start writing that character's thoughts on the page.

In third person or omniscient, it's possible that the narrator has a different attitude or tone than the viewpoint character, which makes transitions more important.

And if you are writing in omniscient, you may have a lot of minds to transition the reader in and out of in a single scene, in addition to the narrator.

To keep things simple, let's just say there are a lot of gray areas.

Understanding POV penetration can help you, help the reader transition into deep thoughts, since the different points essentially zoom in or out.

For example, zooming in:

Sweat dripped down Todd's face (Point 1). He recalled last spring when Sparky died (Point 2). Best dog I ever had, he thought (Point 3). It'd been freaking hot like this. Like the devil's oven (Point 4).

Or zooming out:

It'd been freaking hot like this. Like the devil's oven (Point 4). I was drenched by the time I finished the grave, he thought (Point 3). He remembered the way Sparky howled for treats, chewed up the couch, and gently licked his hand after a walk (Point 2). Blinking rapidly, Todd took a deep breath, then wiped his eyes (Point 1).

It's not necessary to hit every point when you zoom in and out. You can totally skip.

What you don't want is to be jolting--jumping in and out and all over the place randomly.

Well, unless that's exactly the effect you want, such as when you want to give a passage a feeling of disorder and chaos 😉 (All rules can be broken).

There are so many ways to move into a character's thoughts, that what works and what doesn't may be something you have to learn from experience. But using the points of POV penetration is one way.

#writing tips #writing tip #writing tips and tricks #writing help #writeblr #writing thoughts #writing reference

[angel-tries-to-write]

New life from the darkness: Light reveals the end

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Hanji Zoë, Eren Jäger x Mikasa Ackerman Word count: 3271 Genre: fluff, humor

A very free form in a very alternate universe, where Eren actually did nothing wrong, titans were defeated somehow else and all my main ships are real, alive and happy.

The day was exceptionally hot, to the point when even the slightest movement was making people sweat incredibly. Yet the work had to be done, but everyone was seeking even the slightest possibility of getting cooler, so when Connie got rid of his shirt, his friends followed his idea. It seemed great at the beginning, lack of clothes really helped to bear the temperature, but it quickly turned out that basically every person in this squad was incredibly good looking, so everyone who had any crushes, kept staring at them, while they should be working. Levi, being a master in hiding his feelings and pushing them aside, had to constantly remind them of working and it was the only thing that could actually make them do what they were supposed to do. Otherwise they all would just stare: Eren and Jean at Mikasa, Mikasa at Eren, Connie at Sasha, Sasha at food and occasionally at Connie, Armin at Annie and Annie at Armin. Only Levi and Hanji weren't that obvious, though it was possible to catch them stealing some glances.

At some point it turned out that this staring did some good, when Eren dared to stop what he was doing and approached Mikasa, who refused to take off her red scarf. It was still warm, despite being worn almost every day through all these years, so it was making her even more hot and not in terms of looks. Unfortunately she could be really stubborn sometimes. Eren was the first one to notice she didn't look good, therefore he decided to confront her.

“Mikasa” the young man spoke with his calm yet firm voice.

“What happened, Eren? Is something wrong?” she asked, looking at him. She was clearly exhausted, her face was all red and sweaty, it was obvious she was extremely uncomfortable.

“Yes. Give me that” he unwrapped the red scarf from her neck and while her black eyes were expressing shock and betrayal, she immediately looked better. “I understand and appreciate that you want to wear this, but it's way too hot for that and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself.”

“Eren, I—” she tried to protest, but her voice died down her throat. First of all, she knew he was right. Second of all, she realized that a very shirtless, very sweaty, very muscular and deadly handsome Eren was standing really close to her. Loose strands of his hair that escaped his bun were sticked to his forehead and neck, his turquoise eyes stared deep into her soul, his face was serious and worried, and beads of sweat were running down his broad chest and toned abs.

“You know I'm right” he stated gently, trying to show her he wasn't angry, just concerned about her well-being.

“Y-yes, I know” she admitted quietly.

“Oi, brats, get back to work!” Levi scolded them.

“I'm keeping it for now” Eren squeezed his hand around the scarf more firmly. “But once it's cooler, I'll wrap it up for you again, I promise” he smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear, and left to continue his work, before the captain got angry at him. Mikasa stared at him with loving gaze for a while, then picked up her task again. It was suddenly much easier to work, now that she didn't have her scarf. Maybe Eren was right, after all.

When the sun set, the air cooled down, so it was time to rest. Obviously after a mandatory bath, because Levi was ready to beat the crap out of everyone who dared to stay sweaty and smell. For the first couple of days they tried to keep the old rules, so they had to bathe separately, but after Mikasa and Annie called Levi out for breaking the rules himself by bathing Hanji, they decided to give up. Besides, through all these years everyone grew so close to each other, that nudity stopped being any taboo. After all there were more terrifying things in the world than seeing your friends naked. So when the evening came, everyone but Levi, who hated to bathe with others, and Hanji, who was too busy to bathe when everyone else did, were sitting in the cold lake, chilling after a tiring day. Jean, Connie and Sasha were talking about some weird stuff that only the three of them could understand, no one else was actually paying attention to them, Mikasa was washing Eren's long hair, Armin was lost in thoughts and Annie just sat next to him unamused, just like Levi she didn't like to bathe with others, but she was doing it for Armin.

“Why do you always do that?” she asked finally, looking at Mikasa. The black haired girl looked at her former rival, her expression was quite ambiguous.

“I simply like it” she replied casually.

“Washing my hair or testing captain's patience?” Eren chuckled, actually knowing the answer.

“Both.”

“He's always mad when he sees us like that. He knows we're breaking the rules and not breaking them at the same time.”

“That doesn't make any sense, you can't do those things simultaneously” Armin spoke, getting out of his own world.

“But we do. We are closer than it's allowed, yet we don't do anything inappropriate” Eren explained, but his best friend still wasn't convinced.

“I don't know, man. That still doesn't make sense.”

“Armin is right, that sounds stupid” Annie agreed. Suddenly Sasha stood up and left the lake, with no reason.

“Leaving already, Sash?” Mikasa asked, looking at her friend.

“I'm hungry” she answered, drying herself with a towel. Now that explained everything.

“You're always hungry” Jean rolled his eyes.

“Not always!” Sasha protested. “Just most of the time...”

“Right, because that's so different.”

“It is!”

“Stop it, Jean, leave her alone” Connie poked his best friend in the ribs with his elbow.

“Ow! What the hell, man? That hurt!”

“It didn't, stop being a crybaby, you've had worse.”

Eren opened his mouth to say something, but he quickly shut it, biting his lower lip when Mikasa pulled his hair. It worked every time. But apparently this time Jean was in the mood for picking up fights.

“I saw it, Jäger.”

“I didn't say anything!”

“But you wanted to!”

“What is your problem? Are you jealous again?” Eren looked at him intensively.

“He totally is” Connie laughed, shamelessly exposing his friend.

“Well, it's not my fault Mikasa loves me. You know you can't change her feelings, I've tried for years and nothing worked. And thank goodness, I was such an idiot” he smiled fondly, looking at his girl. “But I'm sure you'll find someone one day too.”

“Yeah, man, don't worry” Connie agreed with Eren. “Love is always unexpected, you never know who and when.”

“Fuck you. Both of you” Jean stood up and joined Sasha, who was almost fully dressed and ready to go.

“Ew. I don't judge, but I personally prefer girls” Connie joked, trying to not be obvious which particular girl he had in mind.

“Yeah, if I ever allow anyone do that, it'll be only Mikasa” Eren said more bluntly and shamelessly, making said girl blush. She pulled his hair hard enough to look him in the eye. “Ow, that hurts!”

“Good, it's supposed to hurt. Shut your mouth before you say something you will regret” she warned him, finished washing his hair and let him go.

“Alright, alright, I'll be good” he promised, sitting up. Armin chuckled, watching them. “What?”

“Nothing. I just remember how you always rebelled against anything she said, yelling she's not your mom, and now you obey her without batting an eye.”

“I've just realized it's better to listen to her instead of fighting and then admitting she was right, like I used to do.”

“You've clearly grown up since then” the blonde said, looking at his friends affectionately.

“We've all grown up. I can't believe how fast time flies. I feel like yesterday we were little kids, and now? Just look at us” Eren looked at his friends with nostalgia all over his face.

“I don't know. I prefer you now” Mikasa smiled lovingly.

“Alright, I'll leave you, lovebirds” Connie raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and left.

“I think I should be leaving too. I'm cold” Annie complained, but made no move, clearly waiting for Armin, who didn't take a hint.

“I can warm you up” he blurted out instead, then he realized everyone was staring at him with wide eyes. It was unlike him to say something suggestive, he was usually too innocent for that. “No, I mean... I don't... not like that... ugh” he tried to explain, but ended up stumbling over his words, so he quickly left the lake.

“Armin, wait” Annie followed him, she actually liked when he wasn't so innocent.

“Maybe not everyone grew up” Eren chuckled, watching his best friend's embarrassment.

“Or not everyone is as shameless as you” Mikasa pointed out.

“I'm not... Alright, you have a point.”

“Are you guys coming or not?” Connie asked, looking at the couple.

“Nah, we'll chill out for a little more, but you can go” Eren answered, closing his eyes.

“Captain will be furious when he finds out you're here all alone.”

“I'll gladly fight him if it's necessary” Mikasa shrugged.

“As you wish.”

They waited for a few minutes until the rest of their friends walked away, before Eren approached his girl and kissed her passionately.

“Quick, we don't have much time” he whispered, pulling her on his lap.

“Oh, I'm sure you can use all your time properly” she smirked and kissed him again.

When they came back, captain was indeed furious.

“Where have you been?” he asked angrily, his hands were crossed and his eyes narrowed. The scars on his face were making him look even more terrifying.

“Oh, we decided to take a walk and watch the stars, sorry for being late” Eren lied smoothly. Mikasa hid her face in a red scarf her companion wrapped up for her, just like he promised.

“Get off my sight before I chop you to pieces” Levi growled, not buying it in a tiniest bit, but he didn't want to fight about it. Mostly because he had heard Hanji's footsteps behind him. The young couple quickly did as they were told.

“A walk, huh? Maybe we should take a walk too?” Hanji smiled widely.

“Not even a word, four-eyes. Don't you dare.”

The remaining time they all spent resting and preparing mentally themselves for the next day full of hard work, so in the morning they could wake up and continue their job. The only difference was that this time Eren wasn't working with them. He was taken somewhere by Hanji, who claimed they needed his help. And that was only partially not true, they actually needed it, but they also chose Eren for a reason: they wanted to spend some time with him. After all, those kids, Hanji and Levi grew somehow close, to the point they were almost like a family. And Eren, being a titan shifter for the longest time, sharing Hanji's impulsive personality and being bound to the Ackerman, no wonder he was their "favorite child", even now. Recently they didn't have much time to spend together, so Hanji decided to change that.

“You know, we've never even had a chance to talk, just the two of us, since all of this happened” Hanji said, breaking the silence they worked in.

“Yeah. And we used to spend quite a lot of time” Eren smiled with nostalgia. “I kind of miss us hanging out.”

“How are you doing?”

“I'm fine.”

“I mean it, Eren. Look at me and tell me in the eye that you are actually fine” Hanji looked at him seriously, their good eye expressed concern. They ditched their eye patch to help Levi feel better about his injuries, so their own bad eye was in full display, but none of 104th seemed to care.

“Honestly... I've been better” he admitted with a sigh. “If it wasn't for Armin and Mikasa, I don't know how would I take all of it” he was so embarrassed he couldn't even look at Hanji.

“I understand. You know, on the one hand, I'm glad that titans are gone and we're finally safe, but on the other hand... I miss them” they smiled sheepishly when Eren looked at them surprised. “Don't look at me like that. I've spent so many years researching them and doing experiments, they felt like a part of me. I can imagine it must be hard for you too, since you've been a titan yourself.”

“And I hated it.”

“So did I.”

“But you do have a point. I guess I sort of miss it too, mostly being powerful. It's been so long that I find it hard to get used to being normal again. Last week Mikasa saved my leg from being chopped off, because I forgot I can't regenerate it anymore, so I wasn't careful enough. If she wasn't there... I guess she was right saying that without her I would die a very tragic and a very young death” he smiled fondly, thinking about the girl.

“You love her” Hanji grinned. “Don't even try to deny it. You have the exact same face as Armin when I ask him about Annie” they added, reading his expression.

“Armin and Annie...?” he asked dumbfounded, he was so occupied by his own relationship, that he didn't even notice his best friend's one.

“Come on, don't tell me you don't see it. They're obviously into each other, but they're both too shy to act. I've been their matchmaker basically since we came here and nothing works. Either they are too difficult and stubborn, or I am too bad at this. Then I'm so glad you and Mikasa did it on your own. Sometimes I wonder how I, with one eye and glasses, can see more than them, both with pretty good sight.”

“But we're not—”

“Eren, please, do you think me and Levi believed in your last night's "sudden walk" lie? We're not stupid, we know you had a date, or something” Hanji deadpanned, looking at the young man with a very done expression. “You two are as obvious as Armin and Annie. But don't worry, we're not going to punish you, in fact, we are happy that you are happy, as long as you are responsible. Just better be careful, and here's a little tip for the future: Ackermans are screamers, have that in mind” they smirked.

“Yeah, I know” he answered. It was the moment when both of their brains started actually processing what they said.

“WAIT NO!” they screamed unison, then stared at each other shocked.

“How do you know that?!”

“What do you mean you know?!”

Another silent minute has passed before Eren spoke again.

“So you and captain...”

“Not a word, kid. If you tell anyone, I'll murder you. And if you think you should fear Levi, you just don't know me well enough” Hanji was deadly serious, saying these words and they were actually scary.

“I won't tell a word if you won't. Me and Mikasa don't want any trouble either.”

“So we have a deal.”

“Deal.”

They worked in silence before Eren spoke again, this time about something else.

“Hanji-san... Do you think the others... I mean, other than Mikasa and Armin... Do you think they hate me?” he asked, still unable to look them in the eye.

“Why would you even think that?” Hanji asked with shock.

“When Armin told me Mikasa loves me, I couldn't believe it at first. Even when she confirmed it herself, I still didn't think it was real. How could she loved me, when even I couldn't love myself? I wanted to do terrible things, I wanted to commit a genocide! I actually believed it was the right thing to do and I really wanted this. If it wasn't for you all... I don't know what would happen. How anyone can not hate me? How can anyone ever love me?” he asked, with every question his voice was breaking more and more. It was clear he needed support.

“Come here” Hanji pulled him close and hugged firmly. “We all love you, Eren. Levi would never want me to say it out loud, but you are like our children to us. All nine of you — I'm counting Ymir and Historia — are a part of our weird family and we really love you. We were killing for you, we would die for you, we would do anything to protect you.”

“Yeah... Sometimes... Sometimes I think that captain was a better dad than my actual father. Even though he seems to hate me, at least he taught me useful things and actually helped instead of causing problems and disappearing” Eren admitted, wiping his eyes and smiling sheepishly. “And while I could never forget my mom or stop loving her, I think you are quite a good parent too. I couldn't ask for better parent figures.”

“I can promise that Levi would burst with pride if he heard that. You know him, he can be harsh and rough, but that's because he actually cares, he just never learned to properly express his actual feelings. I'm so proud of you too and I'm very honored to hear that you consider me a good parent, because I don't see myself as one” Hanji confessed, holding back their own tears. “It's probably good, I'm supposed to be your commander, not your parent, but I can't help but feel bad about it.”

“You shouldn't. You're not a bad parent” Eren assured.

“You're not a bad kid yourself. Or a bad person. Just because you wanted to do something, it doesn't make you better or worse, because you didn't actually do that. You have no idea how many times I just wanted to get Levi and run away to spend the rest of our lives in peace, just the two of us. But I never did it, even when I learned that he shared my dream. He wanted to peacefully settle down as much as I did, even more after I barely saved him, yet both of us knew that our duties were more important. So we stayed and it was so worth it. Now we know for sure that in a few years, once we are done fixing it all, our dream will become our reality. And that's all that matters, you know? That we didn't run away, no matter how much we wanted to.”

“I want this too, you know? To settle down with Mikasa and just live a normal, boring life. Maybe even start a family one day...”

“Good luck. I personally feel like we're a bit too old and too scarred to start a family, other than just the two of us and you nine, our adopted children. Besides, with small children even two pair of eyes aren't enough sometimes, while me and Levi together have one pair” they chuckled. “But it will be nice to finally rest. It was worth to wait and always go back to fight for this possibility.”

“Thank you, Hanji-san. For helping me to get it all off my chest.”

“Any time, kid. Now let's get back to work before Levi wanders here and decides to judge or punish us” they laughed, but both of them were fully aware that if he only wanted, Levi actually would do that. Unless Mikasa got involved, then maybe they could stand a chance. A little one.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #my fic #levihan #eremika #levi ackerman #hanji zoë #eren jäger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #annie leonhart #sasha blouse #connie springer #jean kirschtein