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ilyrouxls · 7 months

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Amusement Parks Have Rouxls Too

Rouxls Kaard x Reader

(Fluff, Gender-Neutral Reader, Not Canon AU idk, Y/n used)

Your sibling Kris forces you to join them with their friends and Rouxls to go to the Amusement Park. Chaos, failed flirting attempts, jealousy, and disaster oh my!

You awake early on this Saturday morning to grey clouds covering the city, and cold air nipping at the people outside. A morning like this called for a warm beverage and a pile of blankets. Settling for hot cocoa, you feel excited thinking about everything you won’t have to do today. You stir the packet of Cocoa mix into a warm glass of water. No college, no chores, no work, and no terrible coworkers. It’s only 10am, so you still have a lot of time to waste indulging in doing nothing. It’s perfect for the first day of Winter Break. Of course, until Kris had decided to text you.

“Y/n. come to the amusement park with us.’ So unspecific, per usual of your texts with Kris. They seemed to have a knack for never telling you the full details while at the same time also leaving you on read. Sipping on the steaming cocoa, you write back a response; ‘1. Lol. why? 2. Who is going? 3. Why??’ Kris is always a handful for you, but you love them to death. When you had decided to move out, you chose to not move far so that you could still see them easily. You're glad that you had chosen to do that considering after you moved out, Asriel soon did as well. Asriel is sadly much farther away than you, so Kris began taking the bus to see you. You appreciate it a lot more than you’d ever admit. You both weren’t really close when you were younger, so it’s nice that you’re closer nowadays.

‘Ralsei, Susie, Noelle, Berdly, Lancer, me. The usual. Rouxls is gonna be there too. Meet us at 11.’ You sigh, Kris didn’t even give you an option to not go. And now if you don’t show up you’ll look like an asshole. Damn it, they’ve got you cornered.

On the flip side, Rouxls will be there. Your feelings for him are… complicated. He’s annoying, obnoxious, and quite frankly outright irritating. But these traits are why you’re madly in love with him. If you look past the three previously named traits, he’s genuinely sweet and caring. Especially towards his adopted son Lancer, aka his lesser son. You don’t really know the story between them because you've never asked; it seemed too personal when you first met him and now it seems like it’s too late in the friendship to ask. Rouxls certainly is an interesting character, you can’t tell if he likes you or not. He always calls you a puny small worme or a peon, or other names along those lines.

You drink the last of your cocoa, wash the mug, and think of the pros and cons of going. Cons; Being in a crowded Amusement park, scary rollercoaster rides, tons of people, and annoying kids. Pros; The Fun Gang, hanging around Kris, an opportunity to romance Rouxls…….

‘I’ll get ready, see ya soon.’

Your face feels hot, this could actually work out if you play your kaards right. The amusement park is the perfect place for you two to get closer. It almost makes you giddy thinking about it. Correction, it actually does make you giddy. You smile as you go to shower and tidy yourself up.

Showering is easy but picking out an outfit is hard. You want to impress Rouxls by looking your best, but not too overdressed. You want to be comfy, but not under dressed... It’s an overly complicated process, but eventually you pick something to your liking. You pack a bag with a thin blanket, so you all can sit in the grass at lunch of course, and your wallet. Soon enough, you drive over to the amusement park, planning your ‘devious’ plan.

The local amusement park isn’t far from the city you live in, but it’s a little farther to get to from where Kris. Your parents, Toriel and Asgore of course, used to take the family during the Winter and Spring a lot. Asriel always wanted to play the games to earn prizes but Kris wanted to ride all the rides. So you guys always did both. Kris won all the prizes, but got forced to share against their will. Asriel would get sick from Roller Coasters, but still went on them so as to not ruin the fun. You never weren’t much into games at the time and were too scared to go on the rides. What you enjoyed the most was the atmosphere; sitting in the grass, enjoying your family's presence, and watching the sunset at night. But besides that, you liked cheering both of your siblings on! The good old days of youth. One thing that’s definitely changed is that you would totally play the games now.

Soon enough you arrive at the amusement park and you already feel your anxiety kick in. There’s a lot of people, scary rides, and Rouxls Kaard here. That’s a lot of things that are scary. ‘Where r u? I'm here’ You send Kris the text, and try to gain the balls to go out. You take a deep breath and get out with your bag and head toward the entrance. You feel a buzz in your pocket and pull out your phone to read what Kris said while you stand in line. ‘Already got entrance tickets, trying to buy tickets for rides and games atm.’ You smile, it’s been a bit since you’ve seen Kris. They honestly brighten your day when you see them.

Going up to the entrance to buy tickets, you see a skeleton snoring at the ticket booth. “Uhm… excuse me..” You say, hoping to get their attention. The skeleton stirs and looks up to you, but keeps their head in their arms. “Oh, hey-o. Wanna ticket or somethin’?” His voice was monotone yet he kept a tight grin on his face, a bit friendly but a bit unnerving at the same. You hope he’s actually an employee, but his attire wasn't exactly a uniform.

Blindly trusting the suspicious guy, you nod your head. You were similar to Kris, not one for conversation but more in a socially awkward way. You pull out your money and put it on the counter. You focus your gaze into the park while the worker, if he even is a worker at all, gets your ticket. There's a chance you just gave your money to a scammer. You look past the gates and there in the distance you can see the Fun Squad!

… Oh no.

The scene before you plays out like this; Kris and Susie are shaking the ticket machine, Ralsei is frantically trying to stop them, Berdly is standing a couple feet away trying to act like he doesn’t know them, Noelle is at a different ticket machine, Lancer is hanging onto the machine gleefully, and Rouxls defeatedly sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. Oh boy, today is gonna be a long day. “Know 'em?” The worker at the ticket booth asks you. You make a face, knowing the fate in store for you when you walk in, "Yeah." He hands you your ticket and you thank him before going in.

“Guys don’t go breaking the ticket machine please... We just got here, we can't get kicked out yet!” You say, walking up to the group. “Ah! Finally, the assistance has arivedetheth.” Rouxls stands up and exclaims exasperatedly; it seems like he already tried to stop Kris and Susie. Kris and Susie stop shaking the machine and Kris runs up to you, giving you the biggest hug. Smiling, you hug back and ask, “So, what’s the issue with the ticket machine?”

Susie rolls her eyes and walks over to you. “We thought if we shook it hard enough the tickets would come flying out and we would save our money.” You can’t help but laugh a little because that makes sense now. "Don't worry, I got enough tickets for everyone while you guys were... doing what you did." Susie says, tickets in hand. Seems like she was the only one with a brain. She hands out tickets to everyone, what a saint she is. As the Fun Gang begins to move towards the rides they desire, you fall a little back to walk with Rouxls. For no particular reason of course. “So, what made you want to tag along Rouxls?” You imagine the reason was probably that he wanted to watch Lancer, but you still ask regardless just so you have something to talk about. “Well, I wasn’t planning on attending, but I heardeth thou were going to be here and decidetheth to join along to so thou shall not be watching these little worms alone.” You don’t know whether to feel flattered that he cares for your well-being or offended for calling them worms. It makes you wonder whether Kris asked Rouxls to come by pretending you were already going, and vice-versa for yourself. What a trickster they are, if it was purposeful. “Aw, that’s sweet of you to tag along for me. Thank you, I appreciate it. The kids aren’t worms though.” You giggle, looking at your feet instead of him. He chuckles in response and you both walk in silence.

Soon enough the kids found the first roller coaster they wanted to ride on. The start of your master plan began to set in motion, or so you were hoping. You wanted to pull a few super smooth moves on Rouxls, but you were, conveniently, inconvenienced every time you tried. The first inconvenience was when you tried to ask Rouxls to get on the rollercoaster in the same cart as you. But he declined, saying something along the lines of rollercoasters was for worms and that he would never. The look on his face gave it away though, he was scared of them. So you were you so it was kind of a good thing. Instead you decided to join him watching the kids ride their rollercoaster. You were excited to get alone time with Rouxls until your second inconvenience happened. Ralsei wasn't able to handle the roller coaster and the poor little guy got sick, so he sat with you both for the rest of the rides. It reminded you of when Asriel got sick from roller coasters all the time when you were kids. You did feel bad for Ralsei, but you were also secretly cursing him for accidentally ruining your alone time.

After the last ride ends and everyone gets off the ride, you ask, “Okay everyone, are we getting hungry?” You get a collection of answers such as, “Hell yeah!” and, “Yes please.” Pretty obvious who those two answers came from. Kris takes the lead and shows everyone the way to the food and snack portion of the park. The stands around you smell delicious and the food looks great, but you can only think of one thing. Cotton candy. It’s been years since you’ve had authentic amusement park cotton candy, and it was the only food on your mind.

Seeing the stand in the distance, you start to veer away from the group with it being the only thing on your mind. “Huh? Y/n, where are you going?” Noelle's voice calls out from behind you, and you point at the booth. Heading over to it, you notice the man running the stand is the previous man from the entrance ticket booth.

“I thought you worked at the ticket booth?” You ask him when you get to the front of the line. The guy looks up and his grin seemingly gets wider. “Ha, I s’pose I multitask. It’s a skele-ton of work though.” He winks, and you can’t help but laugh a little at the pun but also cringe at it. “Oh I bet, sounds like you get worked down to the bone.” He snorts at equally cringey pun while you hand him the money, and he starts making your cotton candy. “Didn't read you as the type to like puns.” You look at him a bit confused. “Are you a professional at knowing whether someone likes puns or not?” He chuckles, "Perhaps." You roll your eyes and laugh. He hands you your cotton candy and you turn to walk back to the group.

After you turn around, you notice all the kids are playing tag on an empty grass hill nearby. Rouxls is standing nearby but instead of watching them, he's watching you. When your gaze meets his, he turns and watches the kids. You could imagine it but it seemed weird that he was watching you, his face looks a bit angry too. Was he mad that... you got cotton candy? Maybe he wanted some too. Putting that aside, you walk back to the group. The kids are all playing a seemingly intense game of tag, but it looks like they got themselves some snacks and put it in a pile nearby. You walk toward Rouxls and say, “Sorry about that, it took a little bit. I’ve got a blanket for us all to sit on.” He doesn't say anything, but you set your bag down and grab the blanket you packed and lay it on the ground. Rouxls sits on one end while you sit on the other, eating a bit of your cotton candy. Awkward silence ensues.

…

“So, did thou know the man at that stand? Thee both seemedeth.. uhm.. quiteth friendly.” The question broke the silence but didn't make any sense. “Oh, no not really. He was also the guy running the ticket stand. Kinda weird to be running both areas right? He was also making some cheesy puns.” Rouxls makes a hm sound in reply, leaving you with more questions than answers. Rouxls' weird attitude made it seemed like he could be jealous of the way you acted with the ticker stand slash food stand worker. But that's too cliche to be true, right?

You want to break the tension but you’re not sure how to with the way he's shut your previous conversation down. Staring at the yummy sugary treat you hold in your hand, an idea sparks to life in that brain of yours. Slowly, and hopefully not noticeably, you scoot your way closer to Rouxls. In a matter of seconds you’re so close that the both of you are almost touching arms. He doesn’t seem to notice thankfully, he’s staring at the kids but it seems like he’s actually spacing out. “Have you ever had cotton candy before, Rouxls?” You ask, finally breaking the silence. He jumps at your voice and turns to you in a surprised manner. He was definitely spacing out based on the slightly shocked expression he holds. “A-Ah, I didn’t realize you- thou got so.. close. No, I hath never had whatever thou speak of. He almost broke his façade but he picked it back up quickly... you always knew he probably exaggerated or faked his way of speaking. You smile and push the cotton candy close to his face and say, “It’s called ‘cotton candy’, and you should try some! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, basically it’s sugar that gets heated up into liquid and then spun into this like uh, soft cloud threads? I’m not sure how to describe it but you should try it.”

His cheeks flush a dark blue in a way that makes it seem like he could be blushing, but you’re not sure. “Are you sure? Isn’t it yours?” You nod your head, and he hesitates for a second but then he takes a surprisingly good sized bite out of the cotton candy and his eyes light up in delight. “Mm, tch-at is pretty, mm, good.” He mumbles, mouth full of cotton candy. You can’t help but giggle at his cute behavior. He glares at you, but it seems playful enough that you don’t mind. You pull the cotton candy back to you and take a bite, then bring it back to him to eat. From an outside perspective it probably seems like you two are a couple. You don’t mind at all, you hope he doesn’t mind either.

The kids finally tire out and join you both on the blanket to eat their lunch. You all share some laughs, and before long lunch passes by and the real fun begins. Susie suggests you go to the arcade, and of course you all agree. When you get there, Berdly loudly exclaims, "We should do a competition to see who is the best overall gamer! I know you all know I am undoubtedly the best, but I'm sure you're all eager to try to beat me." Ignoring his gloating for a second, that actually sounds pretty fun. "Sure, can I go against you first?" You ask him, you can't wait to kick this kid's ass. Berdly smirks and picks out some random shooter game. The others begin to pick out their competition and go to other games. While you get ready to start your epic match against Berdly, Rouxls walks over to you. "I am admittedethly not good with video games, so I wisheth thee luck on winning. I have no doubth that thou shall win." Even though you were sure he was just being nice, your heart can't help but flutter that he went out of his way to wish you luck. You played against Berdly a few times, and let's just say you won by a long shot. Even though Rouxls said he wasn't good at video games, you managed to get him to play a couple of games with you. He did pretty well for his first time, only struggling every once in a while. Then Kris joined in and basically annihilated everyone. They always did have a knack for games, always winning while barely putting in effort to it. These events have led up to now, where you’re all surrounding Kris and Susie, the last competitor against Kris. They’re playing Dance Dance Revolution and both of them are trying their hardest to win. Who knew Susie was this good at dancing, she was really holding out against Kris. Everyone was cheering for who they thought was going to win. You could hear Noelle cheering for Susie the loudest though, how cute.

The song was just about to end with Susie winning when suddenly she missed a note. The game flashed with a finish sign and showed their scores. Kris won by barely a smidge of points. “GODDAMN IT KRIS, I WAS ABOUT TO WIN!” Susie exclaims and in a fit of rage punched the screen, smashing it. Everyone stands in shock and you hear someone shout, “Hey! What do you think you're doing!” Looking to where you heard the shout, you see a guy who looks to be the manager and a couple security guards running towards you all quickly. In a rush of panic you yell, “RUN AND HIDE!!”

You all run out of the arcade, scrambling in different directions to hide on various attractions. You pause in the middle of a crowd outside the arcade unsure where to go, when a hand grabs yours and drags you along with them. Startled, you look and see Rouxls is the one who grabbed you. You both run towards the nearest ride to hide, the Ferris wheel. The worker, obviously clueless to the previous arcade incident, lets you into the box and starts the ride up. You take a seat to catch your breath.

Rouxls sits next to you, in the same state as you. “That was quiteth… hah.. an exciting and scary predicamenteth.” You nod your head feverishly in agreement. Pulling out your phone, you send a quick text to Kris informing them that Rouxls and you escaped to the Ferris wheel and that everyone should meet up in 10-15 minutes at the front. You know it's a bit annoying that you all have to hide out for that long, but it's better safe than sorry in case the guards go to the gate now. They don't text back yet, and you hope they're okay along with everyone else.

Suddenly, realization hits you in the face. Rouxls and you are alone. In a Ferris wheel. By yourselves. Alone. Did you mention alone? Your face warms up and your body starts to feel uncomfortably sweaty. Even though you were trying to woo him from the start and this is the perfect place. But now that it's happening with no interruptions this time, it's making your body feel like it wants to collapse and yet always throw yourself out of the window. You feel too scared to make a move so instead you decide to look out the window. You didn’t realize how long you all were playing arcade games until you looked, the sun is already setting behind the clouds. It was beautiful, it had already passed the orangey stage and was now in the darker stages. Dark purples, pinks, and light blues painted the sky. Some stars even started showing up.

“Rouxls! Look at the sunset, it’s beautiful right now.” You lean back into your seat to allow Rouxls to see the sunset from your window. Instead of looking from where he was sitting next to you, he scoots closer and leans over you to see the sunset. He stretches out his arm putting his hand on your thigh and his other hand on your shoulder to steady himself. His face lights up looking at the sky, and he smiles peacefully. You blush and oh my god do you want to kiss him right there and then, but you don’t want to interrupt the moment. He looks absolutely stunning in the lighting, the sun dimly reflecting against him, enhancing his features perfectly and making his hair look angelic. You try not to stare but you can’t help it.

Rouxls turns his head away from the sunset and instead looks at you. Your eyes meet and slowly Rouxls leans closer to you. He’s so close you can feel his shaky breaths against your face. To say you were freaking out in your head was an understatement, your thoughts were running a million miles a minute. You’ve been wanting to kiss him for months now, and it felt like it was about to happen. You want to make the move, but you feel frozen staring into his eyes. Rouxls makes the first move, and finally seals the gap and kisses you. It takes a moment, but you reciprocate the kiss and put your arms around his neck while he moves his hand from your shoulder up to hold your face. His lips feel soft and taste sweet, the flavor of cotton candy still lingering on his lips even after all this time. You both pull apart and you feel a little winded. “I apl- aplogizeth for not asking to kiss thou.. I couldn’th help myself.” Rouxls trips up a little on his words, but you understood what he said. “It’s okay, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for months- I mean it’s okay yeah don’t worry. Don't think about what I just said.” You accidentally overshare that little tidbit of info and try to laugh it off nervously. Rouxls smiles and kisses your cheek, which reassures you that he didn’t mind.

A minute or two passes, and Ferris wheel finally brings you both to the bottom to get off. Rouxls stands up and holds out his hand gentlemanly for you. You take his hand and hold it tightly, and he leads you off the Ferris wheel. With your free hand, you take out your phone and see Kris has texted a few times updating the situation.

‘Okay, I got stuck in a ball pit. A security guard is near me.’ (8:21pm) ‘The security guard just walked past me.’ (8:28pm) ‘THE SECURITY GUARD ALMOST SAW ME’ (8:34pm) ‘IM RUNING RNW OMG HE IS RUNIGB AFTER ME I WILL HAVE TO’ (8:35pm) ‘Sorry for the typos and not finishing my sentence. I’m safe now, we’re all here at the entrance except Rouxls and you.’ (8:39pm) ‘We’re leaving without you two with mom. If I see that you're both in the news for getting arrested, we aren’t gonna bail you out lol. And I'll print out your mugshot and hang it up in the house.’ (8:45pm).

You can’t help but laugh at the series of texts Kris sent. You update them that you’re okay and that Rouxls and you got stuck on the Ferris wheel. You shiver, now that the adrenaline is gone you realize how cold the night has gotten. Rouxls looks at you at you concerned and you say, "Sorry, don't worry. I'm just a little cold." He smiles and replies, "Ah, I see. It does seemeth to have gotten quite cold from when we hadth first arrivedeth. If you are cold dear, then taketh my coat." Rouxls lets go of your hand and takes off his coat, handing it to you. Although flustered, you take it gratefully and put it on. The coat is warm since he had been just wearing it, and is stops you're shivers in a matter of seconds, the jacket was a bit big on you but you didn’t care. You grab his hand again, already missing the feeling of it. “Thank you for the jacket, you’re never getting it back ever again. The kids left with my mom, so it’s just you and me. We better get to the parking lot quickly before security recognizes us.” You tell him and the both of you speed walk and get to the parking lot quickly. As you approach your car Rouxls suddenly stops. “Are you okay? What’s up?” You ask concerned, still holding his hand. “Uhm.. I just realizedth that thy mother took me here with Lancer, it was convenienth at the time to not take two cars...”

…

“Oh.”

“Luckily Lancer is with them. I think they’re all going to have a sleepover, I heard them mention it earlier at lunch.” You say and Rouxls sighs in relief that Lancer will be okay. While wondering how Rouxls will get home, a thought crosses your mind. You tug on his hand to get his attention, “Hey, wanna have a sleepover of our own? You can stay at my apartment for the night and then in the morning I can take you to pick up Lancer and take you both home.” Your face heats up, while your offer is meant to be innocent, your thoughts can’t help but imagine some not so innocent scenarios.

Rouxls looks surprised by your offer and you hope you didn’t over step. “I mean of- of course you don't have to, I can just take you home instead and then you can do your own things. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable-“ Rouxls cuts off your rambling by squeezing your hand reassuringly. You stop and look at him, and he leans down to kiss your cheek. “Don’t fret dear, I would love to stayeth over at thy home.” You smile, happy that he wasn’t offended and happy that he actually accepted your offer. You turn toward your car and you pull him close, walking hand in hand together.

“Alright then, let’s go!”

(Orginally posted on AO3 9-12-22, 4551 words)

(Based off of a dream I had January 2022. In the dream I had, instead of sharing cotton candy it was a bowl of white rice and I was feeding it to Rouxls. Just plain white rice. Not on a grassy hill, no no no we were just below the Ferris wheel on the concrete for no reason. Then Kris, Susie, and Ralsei come over and get all mad that we were sitting and eating because we were supposed to be in the arcade playing games. So yeah that dream inspired this lol)

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greazyfloz · 1 year

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Bend Til We Break

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

“Y/n?”

I’m staring back at the last person I want to see. He left me, he left without saying goodbye, without keeping in touch, without having the decency to break up with me, and now he is standing in front of me calling my name.

I can’t help but stare at his matured face. He his hair out so it was a bit longer, and can grow even facial hair. I begin to mesmerize what use to be mine look so different. Just looking at him brings back many memories that I can’t think about right now, no, not in front of him, not before work.

“Excuse me” I say, pushing past him making my way to my car. As I approach my car I hear footsteps hitting the pavement fast behind me.

“Y/n, wait” I hear Quinn yell out behind me, “please”. I am now standing beside my car door when I decide to turn and face him.

“What?”

“Hear me out” he says making me look at him in disbelief, “I messed up, I’m sorr-”

“No Quinn. I don’t want to hear it. If we didn’t bump into each other, you would have never of told me this. So I’m not going to let you finish”

“Y/n, I just wanted to apologize and explain myself”

“It’s too late. I’ve been waiting for that for 4 years, but I don’t care anymore” I say opening my door and shutting it behind me. I start my car and drive away leaving Quinn on the side of the busy downtown Vancouver street.

When I get to the office and get all settled in, I get an Ig message from Quinn. I roll my eyes before opening it.

_quinnhughes: Can we please talk?

I ignore the message and put my phone away. I continue to do my work until lunch time. I pull my phone out as I make my way to the ground floor to go for a walk outside like I usually do. As I walk around I debate replying to Quinn’s message. A part of me really wants to know why he left the way he did, but part of me just wants to move on.

I make my way back to my building when I see him, standing outside the my building hands in his coat pocket. I make my way closer to the doors but instead of avoiding him, I approached him.

“Are you stalking me now?” I say sarcastically

“No- I uh- I saw the parking pass on your car earlier and recognized the lot” he explained

“So you thought you scope out the area?” I say rolling my eyes turning towards the door

“Y/n please” he says following me. This is a different Quinn than I’ve ever seen before.

“What Quinn, I have to work”

“What is your number?” I roll my eyes

“The same one you’ve always had” I say before walking away.

I didn’t hear from Quinn again until 9pm when I got a text from a random number.

(###) ###-####: Hi, it’s Quinn

(###) ###-####: Was hoping we could sit down and get a coffee or something

Y/n: Fine, tomorrow at 10am

(###) ###-####: I’ll pick you up

I hum and haw about giving him my address before giving in and texting him my address before going to bed.

In the morning I get ready and my phone buzzes at 9:52. I turn my phone around to see a text from Quinn saying he is here so I make my way down stairs. When I get outside I see Quinn leaning against the side of his jeep and opening the door for me once he sees me.

“Thanks” I say hopping in the car.

He goes around and gets in on the drivers side before driving away. He drives to one of the outskirt cities starbucks and we go in together. He tells me to sit and that he remembers my order if it is still the same, I nod and pick a place to sit.

He comes back and sits at the closest chair beside me, handing me my cup then taking a sip of his. “How have you been?” he says

“Better now”

“Look, I didn’t know what to do. Once I was here I knew it wouldn’t have worked out. The distance was just too much, saying and doing are just two different things”

“So when you told me you loved me it was a lie?”

“No” he says reaching for my hand but I pull it away, “I still love you, and I always will”

“You left me” I said in a hurt tone

“I had to”

“Quinn” I say looking down at my coffee cup, “You didn’t even break up with me, you just ghosted me”

“I didn’t want to end it” Quinn starts, “I’m sorry”

“You should have”

“Can we atleast be friends?” he asks and let out a deep breath, “please”

“Fine, okay”

We continued talking and catching up until it felt comfortable again. We talk about funny memories and how our family is doing. He told me his parents are coming to Vancouver soon and they would love to see me. I nodded and said I’d love to see them too. After about two hours of catching up Quinn’s phone buzzed and he checked it quickly before saying it's his GM and he needs to go to the arena. He dropped me off on his way in and told me he’d text me.

As the days go by Quinn and I become closer and closer to soon feeling like the 4 years feel shorter than they were.

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagines

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harrytaylorluke · 7 months

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The boss ~ Louis Tomlinson (Prt 1)

Summary - Louis manages his own record label, known as a professional boss. His newest assistant may be the thing to finally break that purely professional reputation.

- no real warning, that’s for part 2 😏🙌🏻

~~~~~~~~~~

“This is your desk okay?” The slightly passive aggressive older woman, who looks like she’s only ever worked here, says. She’s looking at me like I’m an infant and she’s teaching me to use a spoon.

“This is your phone, you can eat lunch here or go out, it’s a half an hour break at 12:30, okay?” She’s nods her head at me like I’m 3.

“Yes Sheila, thank you for the help. Can I ask where the toilets are?”

“Yes my love, down the hall take a right. This here is Mr Tomlinsons office” she points to the door set into the wall across from us. The office is entirely black with massive windows, posters of celebrities taken here and record awards across the walls. His door has a small window in it, but I can already image his office being the size of my flat.

“He shouldn’t be disturbed, try not to go in unless he asks for you or you have something you know is of importance to him. He’s not really the, make friends with all the workers kind of boss, y’know?” She’s shrugs with a smile.

Everyone knew who he was, even if you didn’t like music. Coming from the biggest boy band in the world, to a massive solo career, to eventually creating his own record label before the age of thirty was one way to get respect. I didn’t even meet him in the interview, just two men in suits described as his “left hand men”, whatever that means.

Sitting down at my rather large desk, I’d been briefed on what to do in my second interview and in an email after getting the job.

I was to:

Answer any phone calls for Mr Tomlinson, put him through after asking if he is decent to speak.

Bring coffee and any other refreshments/ documents Mr Tomlinson may need.

Arrange meeting based on Mr Tomlinsons availability.

Inform Mr Tomlinson of these set meeting.

Discuss and assist him with transport and travel for every meeting he had.

Remind of important task and deadlines.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH… the list goes on. Menial tasks that when you have enough money, you pay someone to do for you. But by 10am, just an hour after coming in, I learned how busy one man can actually be. His calendar was booked, I was already getting emails and phone calls on whether he was available for podcasts, radio shows, interviews and even being sent the most random MP3 files that had been begged for him to listen to.

Overwhelming slightly, writing them all down as I had been told he wasn’t in the office yet. My palms were actually slightly sweaty, I was here because his four previous assistants had expressed “unacceptable behaviour of the sexual nature” to him and been fired rather quickly after that. I didn’t want to make a bad impression, like I was some crazy fan girl who signed up to the job to sleep with him.

At 10:30, he walks in and I soon understood why the sexual misconduct had occurred.

He walked with this confidence I’d never seen before, I guess that happens when a whole building full of people respect and want to impress you more than anyone else. He had these black skinny jeans on and a black hoodie, rather casual, suddenly making me feel overdressed in my knee length black dress and black wedges. It seemed to be how everyone in the office dressed except him, Sheila in a midi skirt and long sleeved top.

He was taller than I’d read about (of course I had to google him beforehand), looking at least 5,9/10, and his hair looked messily thrown and styled around his head. The smartest thing about him was his briefcase. My desk was right next to his office, whereas everyone else seemed to be more spread out. It was mostly just the most important men and women from marketing and business, there couldn’t have been more than five of us in the small area.

He smiled at them individually, some saying a polite hello and earning one back. He finally gets to my desk, looking down at me as I can feel myself getting a rush of anxiety. Do I put my hand out to shake it? I know I should introduce myself, right?

“Hiya, you must be y/n, I’m Louis” too late. He sticks his hand out as I rise from my seat doing the same, wanting to smooth my dress down but stopping myself. The rest of the room has gone back to work already, something unfamiliar to me coming from a drama filled, love a bit of gossip office. His hand is warm as it connects with my freezing one, he keeps eye contact and I realise I haven’t said anything yet.

“Hi, yeah I’m Y/N, I’m really looking forward to working with you” very professional, well done. He blinks and this cheeky, almost smirkish, type of smile spreads across his face.

“Just let me know if you need anything, it can get a bit hectic up here” he says, releasing my hand that I didn’t know was still holding his. Disappearing into his office, I’m feeling almost starstruck, but not like I’ve met a celebrity. Like I’ve actually been struck by a bolt of lightning.

Keeping my composure, I shake my head and get back on with my work of arranging meetings, he leaves his office once for lunch and other then bringing people in to for his meetings and the occasional coffee run, that’s the most I see of him till the next day.

~~ 6 weeks later ~~

He was right, it’s more hectic than I thought. People are constantly in and out either coming to see him or the other people in the shared space. The building is massive, right in the centre of London with at least 500 people working all across it. My office was on the very top floor where I could see all across London, making me feel less stir crazy when the seventh man that day had ‘told me to put my boss on the phone’ after I’d told him not twice already.

I’d actually learned Louis was rather friendly, he could be stern about something but not humiliate you over mistakes. I’d started going with the flow, taking my lunch break outside to the park three streets down and understanding who was important and who wasn’t. I learned how he liked his coffee, that he had a balcony attached to his office where he was allowed to smoke, what brand of cigarettes he did smoke, where to buy them and how often.

I was working late tonight, it was at least 8pm but I couldn’t get this schedule sorted. He had things overlapping, I also had to call people over in America who were just getting to work, rather than calling in the morning like I had been doing and finding out it was 7pm over there and they were long gone.

Being pitch black outside, I turned my lamp on for the first time since I’d gotten here. It dimly lit up my desk, the only other light coming from the street light, and Louis office. I never really knew how late he stayed, I knew he worked hard but I was always leaving by five and he was always still here.

“Yes sir, I’m wondering if we could rearrange your meeting with Louis Tomlinson? It’s currently on the 13 on January, however, I’ve noticed an overlap with another silent. Is the 17th of February possible for you?” I spoke down the phone to one of the owners of Sony, trying to be as polite as possible as, even though it was only November, I knew it wasn’t ideal to mess things around.

“Thank you sir, that’s great I’ll put that in the schedule…yes thank you, goodbye” I put the phone done, pulling town my seamless t-shirt I’d put on under my oversized knitted jumper for the day. Running my hands through my long, dark and now slightly wavy hair, after a day of pulling whereing off the straightening this morning.

“Y/n” my heart fell straight to my chair, startled and with a slight jump I looked to my left to find a smartly dressed, slightly stressed, Louis. His voice was deep and gravely, like he’d been talking and smoking for hours. The thick Doncaster accent coming out more than ever.

“Sorry didn’t mean to startle you” my body is turned towards him as he pokes half his body out of his large office door.

“Can I borrow you for a minute?” He says with a small smile, his blue eyes being lit up by my own office lamp.

“Yes, yes of course” I suddenly feel like I should put my jumper back on, not feeling quite as hot and bothered, or as alone, as I did the hour before. Scattering up, he waits for me to get to his door, holding it open for me. I pull my black, above the knee skirt down a little as I hear my heels clicking on the cream floor.

His office wasn’t as big as I’d expected, except for the massive balcony, it was rather cozy. He had sheets spread out across his desk with a warm beige lamp sat on the corner. With two leather chairs in front, one more comfortable looking one in the corner and his own brown leather one behind his desk. The room had a few plants in that i’d been asked to water every few days that somehow managed to get enough sunlight with the floor to ceiling windows across his back wall.

He sits on his chair as I pull one of the spare ones to his side. “What can I help with” I ask, looking at the chaotic mess on his desk.

“Right so” he begins, leaning down a little and picking up a piece of paper. “These kids are coming, some band called ‘The Health Fiasco’ whatever that is suppose to represent” he continues shaking his hand in the air, I laugh slightly. “They’re trying to make me come all the way to bloody Australia, when I’ve got a meeting in New York the day before?” He looks at me with a ‘wtf’ kind of face.

“Right well, one, stupid name means stupid band” I say, earning a laugh and a shake of his head. “Let me look at your schedule again” I say reaching over him.

I soon realize just how close our chairs were, our knees were slightly touching and I could feel how close he was to me when I reached over. Feeling slightly embarrassed and hoping to God he didn’t think I was pulling a move, I sat back in my seat. Staring over the paper in my hand when I feel him tap the top of my knee over and over again with the palm of his hand as he says “hold on you may need this” whilst handing me another piece of paper with his 2024 schedule on it.

He leans over my shoulder slightly and I can smell his aftershave mixed with the cigarettes and coffee I’d got him a few hours ago. His hand gently rubs against mine as he hands me the paper.

“So” he clears his throat slightly, “the flight to New York is at 8am and I’ve also got meeting all through Friday” his long, tattooed fingers run down the paper in front of me. Stop thinking about his fingers god y/n, he’s your boss for god sake this man has control of my livelihood.

“Yeah well we could move Sony around but I did just rearrange with him once” I say looking up, something I wish I hadn’t done.

His face, more specifically his lips, were impossibly close to me. He had leant in to see the paper next to me and now I could basically feel his breath on my face.

“Um, yeah, yes” he stuttered out “let’s not rearrange that again” he seemed..nervous? He hadn’t moved away yet and neither had I. Looking into his impossibly blue eyes, I could feel my heart getting a little faster. I was definitely reading this wrong, I was praying this wasn’t putting thoughts in his head of me being like his last assistant. The money was too good to loose this job.

“Anyway” I say, moving away quickly as he did the same with a deep breath. “Maybe we can move some of those meeting to the next day so you’re not as jet lagged”

We carried on like the world hadn’t stopped for those few seconds, talking business like I wasn’t thinking about being over his desk with him right behind me. He was hot, but I’d never let myself think like this, I knew the rules and the consequences.

9pm roles around, after me calling and moving people around with him in his office. “We should probably leave it at that, maybe look at these other issues with fresh eyes” ,with my hands in my hair and Louis with his head practically on the desk with how frustrated we both were. It was neither of our mistakes, he just had to much going on to fit it all in.

“Yeah alright” he says puffing out air between his lips and pushing the papers into a pile in the corner. I stand up, getting my stuff together on my desk outside. Putting my jumper back on, my long wool coat and turning my lamp off, I’m about ready to go, and it looks like Louis is to.

“Got anything going on tonight?” I thought he wasn’t friends with his coworkers? This was new territory.

“Just gonna make some dinner and fall asleep probably, what about you” I say, pushing the lift button.

“Smoke, eat, sleep” he shrugs. Riding down in the elevator, I lie against the wall across from him. It’s not awkward, just a little tense. I feel like we’re both thinking about the same thing, each other.

He looks so good today too, he’d had a big meeting and dressed up for it. This black tight fitting shirt with dress pants and a loose fitting jacket. His hair was still the same, just a little less messy. The harsh elevator light flashed as I stood thinking about the man across from me, something I planned on doing most of the night.

The elevator opens, we walk out together, our cars two spaces apart from each other. His being an Aston Martin and mine a black ford.

As we walk, I can feel us getting closer together, most likely because we’re walking to the same place, but I can feel the tension getting weird again.

“Thanks for staying late, and for all that help” he says stopping in front of my car and facing me, his shoulder could be rubbing against mine if he got an inch closer, dangling his keys in his hand.

“It’s not problem, I actually really enjoy it” why am I chatting on, get in the car and go home already.

We’re just looking at each other, the two street lights in the car park make it dimly lit. It’s like we’ve been on a first date and we’re trying to figure out if we’re having a good night kiss or not.

My skin feels like it’s burning the way he looks at me, like if he touched me I’d explode. “That’s good to hear, you’re doing a great job, I’d struggle to live without you now I think” we both share a chuckle as we inch towards our cars, still as close as ever.

Why can’t we stop fucking looking at each other, what is wrong with me, get in the fucking car already for christ sake.

But then he touches my arm, and I’m done for. He doesn’t just touch it, he grazes it with his hand, I almost think it’s a kind of ‘proud of you’ rub of the arm, that’s sweet and innocent, one you’d give a friend when they get a new job or finish something they started months ago. But it’s not, it’s gentle and goes down to my hand where our fingertips touch slightly. I can feel him staring at my face, maybe to gain a reaction, but all I can look at is that hand of his touching my covered arm. I play with his fingers slightly with mine, somehow getting a some sort of confidence.

I think about how I got here, this morning I was excepting a normal day, maybe be home a little late, watch some crap movie, sleep and do it all over again. Now he was the one looking at our hands, mine moving slowly and gently between his, before he starts doing it back. We’re like two 16 year olds who’ve never been this close to someone before.

I want to say something, but I think it’ll spoil it.

We’re both breathing silently, cars and people are going past in the street but I’m positive no one can see us, even if we weren’t doing more than 16 year olds do.

Our fingers interlock as he moves forward slightly. It’s nothing and I can barely breath. His hair is close to touching the top of mine as we both stare down at this contact that, to put it frankly, is getting me hornier than I’ve been in months.

Pulling my hand from his, I push it up his sleeve, moving myself close to get higher up. The closer I get to him, the closer his hand gets to my hip. It’s inches away and all I want is for him to rest it there. He goes under my coat with his hand, grabbing my side less delicately than he did my hand. My cold hand is rubbing circles under his sleeve and I knew if I lifted my head, my night would be set.

It’s been less than two minutes of this back and forth in silence, it’s intimate yet we’re stood in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world. My head is lifting slightly, his head being above mine, almost resting his cheek on the side of my head at this point. I can feel in his body he knows this isn’t right, that it’s unfair to fire so many women for one reason and then disregard another for the same issue.

I just don’t think either of us could control ourselves, I finally lifted my head fully, looking into his eyes. His hand gripped me harder, our lips millimeters apart, moving as slow as possible, they meet slightly. Moving our heads up and down slightly, lips touching gently, like neither of us wants to be the one who truly made the mistake of interlocking our lips.

We give up, connecting them fully, my hand shooting up to his hair, tangling my finger in the sides. He takes both his arms around my waist, lifting me up to my tip toes where I wrap my other arm around his neck. His lips are warm, soft and delicious. You can taste the coffee I’d slipped on his desk just hours before mixed with the cigarettes he’d smoked while we were working. It was slow, but so intense, it’s like it had awakened these feelings I didn’t know I felt.

His hand finds it’s way to just below my throat, his fingers spread over my collar bones as his thumb gently tips my chin up, opening up my mouth. His other hand is firmly around my waist, pressing me against him. Slipping his tongue past my lips, he deepens the kiss. The world feels like it’s spinning, like we should be doing this every second of everyday.

His hand replaces itself onto my waist, turning me around as he backs me up into the side of my car. It’s hot, it’s intense and it’s getting faster.

“Fuck” I hear him say under his breath, pulling away slightly and looking down. I press my hips up towards him as his hands support the bottom of my back. His voice is raspy and I can feel something happening in his pants.

I rub my waist up against the tent I can feel forming in his pants, going in circular motions as he does the same. One hand around my waist the other on the back of my neck, I let out a slight whimper than causes him to let out a deep breath he’d been holding in. My back pressed against the car and waist pressed up against him, I can feel wetness pooling in between my legs.

My mind goes into overdrive, what if this is what he does? He’s get with these girls and fires them? Am I gonna be next? The mood is quickly ruined for me, and I think he can tell.

My hips are going slower, I’m thinking way to hard.

I pull back from the kiss.

“This is stupid sorry, I’m not the kind to do this with a boss” I lie, I would, if I knew I wouldn’t be fired the next day.

“What?” He looks so hurt, I feel bad, but I’m old enough to know this is a stupid thing to do, especially in a parking lot with other peoples cars in, people that probably work in the same building as us. He pulls his hands away from my hips slowly, likes he so desperate not to.

“I gotta go, can we just forget this” I say, turning around and opening my car door with a wave of my hand. I momentarily think ‘god what the fuck is wrong with me, turning down a rich, hot, famous dude who can kiss like a god?’

“Y/n, you’re not going to be fired you know? This isn’t what’s going on?” He’s stressed, almost rambling, like he’s desperate for me to stay. But I feel like he’s said that before, I need to leave, I need sleep and I need to move past it.

Driving away from him as he watches my car drive out the parking lot, why do I want to punch myself?

#smut #louis tomlinson #larry stylinson #fanfiction #boss #slow burn

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aussiepineapple1st · 1 year

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Omg!!!!! What if you do a chreon story where Leon is home along waiting for Chris to get home when an intruder breaks in and attempts to rape leon but in the process they break shit and glass is everywhere but eventually pulls a gun on leon telling him to get on his hands and knees??? But just as Leon is about to get raped Chris comes in!!! And the intruder points a gun at Chris and threatens him but Leon sees a piece of glass on the floor and stabs the guys leg then Chris just absolutely goes fucking physco beating the crap out of the guy while Leon is screaming at him, trying to pry Chris off the guy "Stop Chris that's enough! Your going to kill him!" And Chris says "He fucking deserves it after what he tried to do to you!" Then Leon says "but he's not worth it! Please Chris I can't handle you going to jail!" Then Leon just whimpers out and Chris stops at the sound to turn around and hug and kiss Leon, making him feel better before calling the cops??? 😭

I don't have to do anything. You basically wrote the whole thing for me🤣 This is also not really my type of thing so I'll do my best.

Overpowered

Chreon / Leon x Chris

Words: 1,517 Contains: Rape(no penetration), Blood, Angst, NSFW, Comfort, Whump.

Leon was finding it hard to sleep at night. The "interview" he had with the government and the wound on his left shoulder, as well as all the other cuts and bruises didn't help the situation.

It was starting to get late so he had decided to try and get some sleep before Chris came home around midnight. He had returned from his "Holiday" in Europe only 2 days ago, having to stay late at his new headquarters as they figured everything out to move the STARS Units to a new area.

Starting to drift off to sleep, finally. He had heard a noise, pulling him from his sleep once more. After what happened Last week in Raccoon City, he had been on high alert with every small sound. He hears footsteps walking through the house, opening his eyes he looks at the clock. Chris would normally arrive home between 11:55pm and 12:10am, the time currently was 11:49pm. Was Chris early?

Leon sits up with a wince, his right hand reaching to his left shoulder as it ached. The fresh bandages he had dressed himself after his shower soft under his touch. He listens to the footsteps, they were quiet, doors opening gently as if searching for something. This wasn't Chris, and if it was, he would be able to defend against Leon easily.

Sliding out of bed, Leon makes his way to stand beside the door. Making sure he was beside the hinges so when the door opened he would be hidden. He wasn't very strong at the moment, tired, injured, weak. So he had to find something to use as a weapon.

The door opened beside him, slowly and unsure. Leon kept his gaze on the door as it opened, his hand reaching for anything it could beside him. Trying to be silent, all his hand could find against the wooden dresser that sandwiched him between the door was an umbrella. The figure emerged from behind the door, that definitely wasn't Chris. This man wasn't as big as Chris was, but he was definitely bigger than what Leon was.

Waiting for the best opportunity he silently raised the umbrella and brings it down onto the intruder. It connects with his back and head, only stunning him as he steps forwards. Turning to Leon a scowl on his face that turns to a smirk as he saw the shirtless, bandaged young adult in front of him still holding the umbrella.

"Was that it?" The man teased.

Shit... Leon was weaker than he had thought he was, this wasn't good at all. He goes to attack the man once again, but the umbrella was grabbed. Eyes widening Leon didn't have enough time to react as the man's heavy boot connects to Leon's stomach. Sending him into the long mirror hung on the wall. "AH!!" Leon lets out a shout of pain as the mirror shattered.

"Who does the bad luck go to?" He said trying to peel himself off the ground. A boot meets his gut once again sending him into the wall, knocking the mirror onto him. Shards scatter everywhere as Leon throws the mirror at the man, trying desperately to get away. A boot was placed in the centre of his back, pushing him from his hands and knees onto the ground.

"You." The man replied to Leon's rhetorical question he had asked himself out loud. Leon hears the all too familiar sound of a handgun being cocked and the cold metal barrel being placed to the base of his skull. "On your knees." The man demanded.

Leon had to listen or he was going to be shot, so he got to his hands and knees, lifting his hands from the ground with his hands out in surrender. "Uh uh.. Hands on the ground.." Leon frowns, but obeys. He then hears the sound of a belt buckle. What? Oh no.. Was he..?

Kneeling down the man pushed his hips against Leon butt, he leans over, dragging the gun from the back of Leon's head to press hard under his chin. "You know... I never expected such a cute young man to be in this house." He grabs Leon's hair tight and rips his head back. Leon grunts out through gritted teeth. "Lucky me."

Leon could feel his face flush of all colour, beads of sweat began running down his forrid and temples as his hair was released. The man's hand running roughly down his back, snaking around to his chest, pressing against the wound on his shoulder causing Leon to growl out in pain.

"Such a pretty noise."

"You're fucking sick!" Leon spits out, a hand reaching to grab at the hand on his chest. Trying to pull it away he stops when the gun pressed harder into the soft flesh under his jaw.

"No you don't.." The man chuckled with demand. He pushed Leon to the ground by thrusting his hips hard into Leon's arse. Leon falls to his chest with a thump and chink of mirror shards under his cheeks and chest. He lets out an "OOF!" before he's forcefully rolled to his back.

Gun held hard against his throat the man pulls out a knife and sticks it in the fabric of Leon's trackies. Cutting a decent sized hole in them he sheathed the knife and rips the hole larger, exposing Leon's right thigh, hips and groin.

"Hm.. And here I thought I was going to have to go through another layer." He comments on how Leon wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Shut the fuck u-ghk!" Leon's wind pipe was closed by the gun pressing hard into his throat.

"No talking or I blow that pretty li'l face off." He said reaching down and grabbing Leon's exposed penis.

Leon's body jolts at the unpleasant feeling of being grabbed, the man's rough hands pulling and fondling with his manhood. Tears prick at his eyes as he lets out a choked sob, his face scrunching up.

"GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!" Shouts a familiar voice. Chris had seen the front door ajar and when he entered the house he had heard Leon's voice followed by and unfamiliar male.

Chris didn't have his gun on him, left in the car and hadn't gone back for it. He needed to get inside to Leon as soon as he saw someone had broken in. He steps closer to the man who pulls the gun away from Leon's throat and points it at Chris, sizing the man up now standing in the firing line of his gun. "Don't move or I shoot you then this one!"

Leon's hand feels around on the ground, grabbing a shard of the mirror he grips it tight as he rapidly drives it into the man's leg that straddled him. The man cries out and Chris takes this opportunity to kick the gun from the man's hand and tackle him to the ground. Leon rolling out of the way so he wasn't crushed under both men.

Chris had the man on his back, wailing on him with a fury of punches to the face. Leon stares in horror as he stands to his feet.

"Chris!! Chris STOP!" He pleads, a hand holding his own wounded shoulder. "You'll kill him!!"

Chris stops for a moment, fists still clenched tight, dripping with the fresh blood from the man's now broken nose and cut cheek bones. "He deserves it for doing this to you!!"

Chris punched the man another time. "Chris Ple-AH!!" Leon clutched at his shoulder, falling to his knees in pain.

This stopped Chris immediately, hearing Leon in pain he climbs off the man now hanging onto consciousness, kneeling in front of Leon. "What's wrong?" He was worried the man had done Leon harm.

Chris noted the fresh cuts all over his back from the mirror, the bullet wound seeping through the bandage on his back which means it would be doing the same on the front. "My... Everything hurts." Leon grunts out as he leans into Chris.

Leon grabs the shirt on Chris' chest as he held onto him tight. His body was trembling from pain, adrenaline, how weak his muscles were and scared of what had just happened. "I can't have you go to jail for manslaughter!" He sobbed into the other's chest.

Strong arms wrap around Leon's body, being careful not to cause any more pain than what his body was already feeling. Chris looks to the blanket on the bed and pulls it off, wrapping it around Leon gently. Picking him up in his arms Chris sits him on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, I just... I lost myself." Chris says pulling out his phone from the pocket on his right hip and calls 911. "The police can deal with him."

Leon looks to the bloodied man on the ground then pulls the blanket around him closer, laying down on the bed. Chris sits beside him, a hand rubbing circles on his thigh to try comforting Leon.

"Yes, I'd like to report an intruder in my house."

🏷️: @phoenix666stuff @maehemthemisfit @greywardensaywhat @growingupnrealizing @starcrossedreaders

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ro-presents-under-the-nola-stars · 1 year

Text

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐕

𝐆𝐞𝐧

𝐏𝐆-𝟏𝟑

𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞, 𝐯𝐚𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐀

𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜; 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐉 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐉𝐉 𝐱 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝

𝟖.𝟗𝐤 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

(Shy's House in media)

Jasira oversleeps by a full thirty minutes today, which wasn't unusal before she started seeing Blue. But, it's the first day in since they have been talking that she finds herself this far behind schedule. A once minor annoyance is a now a source a great disappointment. The sound of the ringtone she set just for Blue evokes more response in her than gunshots. If she had called, there was no way Shy would have missed it so the fact that she's woken up this late just means Blue hasn't called her. She checks to be sure, as soon as she's finished stretching. No calls, no texts. Just radio silence. It's unlike her, and she tries not to internalize because she knows how her job is and how impromptu it can be, but she would be lying to herself if she said it didn't sting a little. She shakes it off, doesn't want to let it affect her day because she has a full schedule ahead of her.

9:15AM

Meet her sisters and brothers (and the other frats and sorors) to start planning the Spring Break/Senior Farewell Foam Party.

10:10AM

Be at the school to teach to the high schoolers

12:45PM

Dance practice with her Dolls

1:15PM

Go take that exam she missed. (It's her last one. EVER)

2:44PM

Start making her rounds to with the kids' schools because it is Friday. Which means she has them until Monday. All of them, siblings, nieces and nephews.

3:30PM

Take them all to lazer tag

5:00PM

Grocery Shopping

6:00PM

Dinner

10:00PM

Make sure the kids are asleep

And, by seven tonight, she'll be getting them bathed and ready for bed. It'll be pushing nine before she gets any real time for herself, and she doesn't know if she'll have the time for Blue. Energy more like. Lunch is definitely off the table for them, she's too busy. Blue likely will be too, which she can accept easy. Lunch dates have always been conditional, but with morning call, the likelihood of them not talking at all makes Shy's stomach twist and twirl something uncomfortable.

She's speeding through her morning routine (because she didn't wake up until seven fifteen, and she has to actually drive to Southern's campus for this meeting and her makeup exam) when she hears brief knocking on her door, followed by the jingle of some keys.

"Twin!" The voice booms through the small space of her quaint home.

"I'm in the bathroom, Daddy!" She calls back, rinsing the face soap off her, and immediately, she hears his footsteps headed her way. He opens the bathroom without a second thought, and she simply sidesteps to ensure that she isn't hit with the door. Still, when he steps inside the bathroom, she says, "What if I was naked, Daddy?" and she isn't fully dressed, now, but she has on her skirt at least.

He shrugs, not even having considered that. She's his kid, always and forever, "I used to bathe you with me."

"I was five."

"You gon always be five to me." He says, patting her head, " 'Sides, ain't nobody tryna look at'chu."

She huffs, not nearly as annoyed as the huff conveys, but not entirely playful, either before saying, "Daddy, I'm grown."

"Well, since you so damn grown, pay ya own bills."

"Cool it, okay, I'm still a princess. I was just messin' witchu. I like not paying my bills."

He reaches into pocket with a near silent hmph while muttering, "Always want my money," but he pulls out a wad of cash that most certainly won't fit in her wallet, only held closed by two rubberbands. "For the weekend. Should be enough, but call me if you need more."

She thanks him with a kiss to the cheek as he leaves the keys for the family van next to the money on the sink top. He leaves the bathroom as she's unwrapping her hair and styling it. Continuing getting ready for her day, she can hear him, with his tools, presumably changing her locks. He comes by and changes them for her every Friday so Bryce doesn't have a chance to get a key made. Becuase he's done that before. His singing as he works becomes the soundtrack for the rest of her morning until she's breezing past him and out of the door. He only stopping singing to himself to tell her that her new key is on the van key ring.

By the time she makes it to the Delta house on campus, she's the last one there. She hates that, because it's something she would be strict about herself, but her place in the hierarchy of the house means she won't get shit for it. Not from her sorors, anyway. Maybe from some of the others. Still, though, it pains her not to follow her own example and rules. She enters the house, finds them in the living room, waiting and starts the meeting like she was never late.

The meeting goes off without a single hitch, if she doesn't count the passive aggressive comments from other girls in other houses. There moments, small but various, where she regrets suggesting this be a group event. A symbol of unity, she insisted, because tensions between the frats and sorors had been.. rough this year, and more than a few of the divine nine had faced threats of having their chapters suspended because of it. The foam party was supposed to be more than Spring Break Party or a Senior Farewell, but proof that the houses could peacefully coexist because according to their dean, and to outsiders, they were acting too gang-like. Which, while there were issues, having grown up in a gang riddled community, Jasira thinks it's an ill fitting comparison. That said, she has to keep all that in mind when dealing with some of the other girls. She hates how difficult they can make things. Not all the girls, just one particular house that she refuses to spend anymore energy thinking about. She needs all the energy she has.

Her class today is probably the most important one she's taught. It's the first class she hasn't taught in New Orleans, so she's without the cushion of a sibling or a niece or a nephew. She's more nervous than she's ever been because she's got juniors and seniors today. More over, since the meeting fell behind because she was late, she's in danger of being late to the school. She calls the office ahead, of course, but her window is still pretty slim, and she wants to catch up to her written timeline because no matter what, she has to be back in New Orleans before 2:44.

She gets there as classes are in transitions, and immediately, she remembers how much she hates teenagers. Not just teenagers, but she is reminded how much she hates how boys are raised because as she's walking to the room she's in for the next hour or so, she's getting catcalled by boys ranging from age fourteen to eighteen, and it's nauseating for her. But, she shoves it all down, like she always does and pretends she can't hear anything.

"Oh, good morning!" She's met with a bright, sunshiney smile from an older woman, who has the most beautiful blend of salt and pepper hair that she thinks she's ever seen. "Well, it's a late morning, but still, good morning. I'm Mrs. Greenwood," she says, walking towards Shy to usher her further into the classroom, "Come, come, get comfortable."

"I'm Jasira Boudreaux," she introduces herself, laughing for reasons completely unknown to herself before blurting out, ''I am so nervous."

"Oh, dear," Ms. Greenwood giggles, "Well, you're about to be even more nervous, because I let my student teachers have the classrooms to themselves." Shy's eyes widen, and Ms. Greenwood follows up, "I like to give them a true feel of what it's like to be a teacher without the cushion of me to control the kids for them." Jasira's jaw drops but closes as Ms. Greenwood cuts in, "You will do just fine, darling. If you have any real problems, just buzz the office and the child in question will be escorted out," she brings her over to the desk and clears it off so Jasira can the space her own for the hour, "I wrote you a list of students to keep an eye out for, just the ones that typically give me problems."

"Thank you so much," Jasira says as the door opens and students start coming in, "I really appreciate it."

"I'll leave you to it, hun." She says and leaves as more students pile in.

Jasira sits at the desk, making herself at home and tries to calm her nerves as the kids pour into the room. She tries and fails at not looking up, not having wanted to see exactly how big the class was, but this seems to be one of the bigger ones. Desks filling up and some students having to opt for the computer table, due to lack of options. It does very little to help the nerves she's hardly relaxed. She takes a few more deep breaths, figures as long as her voice doesn't crack or shake, she should be just fine. When the second bell rings, and the door is closed, she turns back to the students. All eyes on her, full of cuirousity and expectations, or maybe she's projecting a bit. Either way, her heart is pounding out of her chest. She straightens her back, clears her throat and introduces herself to the room.

"What's ya first name?" Asks a young boy, sitting in back of the room at one of the computer stations.

"What's that matter?" She asks, "You'd never have permission to use it."

He shrugs, leaning back in his seat to the best of his ability and manspreads to show off the length of his legs. She cringes, with the thought of how much she hates teenage boys running through her mind on an infinite loop.

"Cus if you don't tell me, Ima just have to call you mine," and his response is met with a class ride response of a wave of jaw drops and damn's. He daps up a few of his friends like he's done something great, and she sees it as a great opportunity to put her foot down.

"Sure, you can call me that, but then, I would just have to call you Delusional," and her response is met with a wave of laughter and ooh's.

One student even makes it a point to blurt out, "She sho' played the fuck out'chu, boy," before laughing much harder than necessary.

The student sits up, shrinking into himself and looking like a thinly chocalate coated cheery, "Aye, my name Dewaun, I ain't answering to nothin' else."

"Good, and you shouldn't. Just like I won't be answering to anything but Ms. Boudreaux, can you manage that for the next ninety minutes?"

He nods, "Yes, ma'am."

She smiles, "Pleasure to meet you, Dewaun." She scans the room, "Alright, let's get acquainted."

Once the students all introduce themselves, and she checks them off the role, she gets right into her lesson. She's thankful she's able to do this towards the end of the year. The kids are engaging but she knows senioritis when she sees it. It would almost frustrating if it didn't help kill her nerves. Plus, for what senioritis looked like at her school back in the day, she appreciates the engagement she actually is getting. The hour flies by, thankfully and when the bell rings, the students actually express desire for her to return before they graduate and teach another lesson. She's nearly jumping for joy when she hears her cellphone buzz against the desk. She'd pushed this morning away, but in the back of her mind, she had yet to stop thinking about how she hadn't heard Blue's voice all day. The buzz of her phone sends her quite literally running across the classroom back to the teacher's desk. She doesn't even have time to be embarrassed with herself, either because her hope rang true.

Baby Blue

I'm sorry I forgot to call you this morning. I wish I had time for lunch, but I hardly have time for this message. I hope we can still skype tonight. I hope you are having a very safe and happy day.

Her smiles nearly outgrows the rest of her features. She doesn't even realize she's bouncing on her toes until she hears a voice call out from behind her.

"So, I take it the class went well." Her blood runs cold with embarrassment, but when she turns to face Ms. Greenwood, she's still smiling wider than her cheeks can handle and she feel them burning. She doesn't trust her voice not to do something utterly ridiculous, so she just nods. Ms. Greenwood smiles, clasping her hands together and says, "Good, I'm glad. Hopefully you can come back for the end of the year and I can get another extra free period."

The two women make small talk after that but the older woman doesn't keep Shy too long. When she's all packed up and goodbyes are said, she finds herself racing to her vehicle because teaching allowed her to catch up to her schedule. Not wanting to fall behind, she finds herself racing back to Southern so she can get on with practice.

Unlike with the meeting about the foam party, she is the first to arrive here. Which, she finds a a little enraging, considering she's coming from across the city, traffic and all while all her girls either live in the Palisades apartments or on campus. There's no reason she should have beat them there and there's no reason she should have to wait for them for more than three minutes. But, she finds herself having time to use the gym shower and change into her practice clothes before the first set of bodies start to enter the gym. By now, she's once again behind the schedule she just caught up to. By the time all her girls show up, she's now almost thirty minutes behind and she can tell by the faces of her dolls when they see her that they know she's pissed. The wide eyes, sudden dead laughter and slow walking makes that painfully obvious and it pisses her off even more. Here, in a space full of faces that look like her own, she's less polished. She lets herself be more tough, more agressive because it seems when she's soft with her girls, they slack and she's just been too cool, lately, it would seem.

"Y'all must think my time run off some infinite loop."

Shayla is the first to speak, "We sorry, Shy. Toya had just told us that you was late to the Delta meeting and we know how busy you be so we thought you was gon' be late for this, too."

Her eyebrows raise as she looks at Toya, who ducks her head and turns a bit to the left. Toya, who just crossed and got her letters. Toya, who hadn't been the strongest little sister on her line and had crossed mostly off the backs of her line sisters. Toya, who should know that sorority business is sorority business and it isn't to be discussed with non-sorors. Her tongues run across her teeth as she refrains from getting her together in front of the rest of her dolls. She's in her head, reminding herself that sorority business is sorority business, and she would never embarass a fellow sister in such a way. She has to look away from her before she forgets her own rule.

"Ion give fuck if I am late," she starts to pace, "If I'm late, y'all better be here when I get here, stretching or doing suicides. Sumn. There ain't no world in which making me wait is cool, because like you said, I have a life outside of school. What the fuck y'all got? I know y'all schedules, I know y'all ain't got no jobs. So, please, tell me, what was y'all doing besides draggin' y'all feet?"

Their eyes are anywhere but on her. It's her least favorite thing ever, talking to them like they are five years old. Her freshmen are one thing because they're seventeen and eighteen, but the rest of her girls are full blown adults. She shouldn't have to tear into them.

"Since y'all have no respect for my time, I ain't got no respect for y'all's. Y'all's weekend is mine. I want y'all at my house tomorrow and Sunday at 10:00AM. Y'all are practicing all day. Today? Y'all runnin' til y'all legs give out, and I will send some of my sisters to come down here and sit wit'chall to make sure y'all actually do what I said 'cus I have to get back my very busy schedule." She says, flashing a snarky grin before walking past them, but not before looking over at Toya, who briefly makes eye contact with her before looking up at one of the lights, "When I call you later, ya phone better be on, ya hear me?"

Toya nods and mutters, "Yes, Big Sister Princess."

Shy doesn't even remind her that since she's crossed, she does not have to call her that anymore. She's too pissed. Too pissed that they can't practice today because she doesn't have time because they wasted the hell out of hers. This is her last year going to State, her last chance to make it to Nationals (not that they haven't already won it twice over), and her girls are just shitting all over the opportunity. As she's walking to her car, she calls Kelli and Troy to go supervise her girls.

She takes a moment, when she gets to her car, to cool down and clear her head. She doesn't want to be this agitated when she takes her make up exam. It's her last chance to take it; she can't ask her professor to be more lenient than he's already been. There's no room for fucks ups. She finds herself pulling out her cell phone and dialing Blue's number without a second thought. She doesn't pick up, and Shy realizes she hadn't really expected her to, but the sound of her voice coming through the voicemail box is enough to calm her nerves. She shoots to her a text.

OUTGOING: Baby Blue

You ain't gotta to call me back. I will stay up tonight, waiting for your call <3

She drives across campus then and finds herself running to her class. She's still in her practice uniform, and she had completely forgotten she until she sees how her professor is eyeing her. She can't tell if he's ogling or scruntinzing her. Either way, it makes her feel like she's the size of an ant as she takes a seat. He doesn't say anything to her as he come by and hands her a packet that's the size of a semi thick children's picture book. She sits there until 2:15, and she knows as soon as she finishes and turns the paper in, that she will not back to New Orleans before 2:44. As she's walking out to her car, she's making calls to the kids' schools, alerting them that she won't be on time. She hates that so bad; she hates making her babies wait. In her mind, she knows dance practice tomorrow morning is going to be hell for them because she was all caught up and all good before that non-practice ass practice. She calls the sorors appointed to oversee the practice to check on the girls.

Traffic is bitch and while in it, she makes another round of calls to the kids' schools to alert them that she'll be even later than she anticipated. As she finds herself getting annoyed again, her phone rings. As if the universe just knew what she needed, it's her Blue eyed princess.

"I didn't expect to hear from you so soon." She says, in favor of a hello.

"I'm working but I," she gives a sigh, wrapped head to to, in exhaustion, "am caught in traffic. So, I have some time, and I needed to hear your voice while the world was quiet."

Shy's smile is slow-growing and lazy, but this is probably the best she's felt all day.

"You callin' me loud?"

It makes JJ smile, "Well, I have a recording of you laughing. You wanna listen to it and see for yourself?"

"Oh, so you a lil comedian now?" Shy says, falling into their banter. She fake laughs, "Te-he-he, you are so funny."

"Thank you," JJ says, bypassing her obvious sarcasm, "I'm hilarious." She relaxes in the driver's seat as traffic remains at a standstill, "It's really nice to hear your voice, finally."

Traffic starts moving for Shy, but she stays on, wedging the phone between her ear and her shoulder. It isn't the safest nor is it the most comfortable way to drive, but with traffic moving as slow as it is, it doesn't cause her much concern. JJ asks about her day before she gets a chance to ask about hers. As she starts to rant, specifically about her Dolls, traffic picks up. Not wanting to hang up, she opts for simply holding the phone as she gets out her frustrations. JJ's the perfect listener. She is responsive and gives input in way that makes Shy reflect upon her actions while also making sure she doesn't feel like JJ isn't on her side. Even when her rants are unreasonable, JJ never makes her feel judged or like she's crazy. Shy didn't realize how good that would feel until she had it. When she finishes, ranting, she hears Blue let out a sigh that is so different than the one she let go when she their conversation first started.

"Thank you," she says, just above a whisper.

"For what?" Shy asks, "Whining?"

"For taking my mind off this case for five minutes," she rubs her eyes as traffic begins to move for her, too, "I have to go. I'll see you tonight."

Shy feels better when they get off the phone, and traffic is flowing consistently, much to her pleasure. It's like everything is the way they are supposed to be now that they have officially spoken. And, she feels lighter now that she's gotten out her frustrations.

When she pulls up to the high school, she's got a group of teenagers, waiting for her on the curb with a teacher sitting in her air conditioned car. She recongizes the liscense plate, and realizes it isn't a teacher. It's her old dance teacher. The one who started playfully calling her sister when her brother, Bryce, started preying on her. Instead of, you know, stepping in and protecting Shy. She remembers how she made it sound perfectly okay that her little brother was interested in her. She made Shy feel like them being sisters in law would be so cool. She remembers the first time she came to school limping after he had violating her. She remembers being told by her dance coach that it wouldn't have hurt so badly, had she not made him work for it. She can still hear her voice saying, "Give it up more easily next time, and you won't get hurt." Jasira hates that bitch.

She unlocks the car with a clenched jaw, and her little brother Joaquin hops in the front seat while the others pile into a back.

"Crawl in them wayback seats. Y'all know we got gotta pick up everybody."

"Teetee, my legs too long for them seats," Michael complains, and Rashad pipes up in agreeance.

She pulls off as soon as the door closes, "I really don't care cus y'all be the main ones whining about being crawled over so get back there like I said."

Both boys kiss their teeth but do as they are told. When she gets to the middle school, the tweens and young teens are waiting outside for her, completely by themselves. Late or not, it pisses her completely off and she makes a mental note to complain to the school about it later, seeing as it's literally illegal to leave minors on school grounds alone. She fixes her lips to apologize, but doesn't get a chance to before her Kutty pops off with an attitude.

"Guh, you know how long we been waitin' on you?" He smacks his lips, "It's hot, roun', I was finna get a sunburn."

"Excuse you," she stops the car, again. The abruptness of the action gives everyone a strong jolt forward, "You can catch the city bus since you got so much mouth."

"I'm straight," he responds, settling in his seat. She pulls off, again and heads to the elementary school. She gets out, then, to help them all get adjusted, and make sure they are lapped up properly in the backseat before leaving.

It's four o'clock by the time she's picked gotten to the daycare, and she has to get out of the care again, to make sure her baby sister is strapped in properly. All she can think is, she's happy that she didn't tell the kids she was planning on taking them to do lazer tag because that is completely off the table now, and she would hate to have disappointed them.

They head to Krogers for grocerys, and they split off with the plan. Every high schooler is assigned a set of kids They split off into groups with a list and their buggy, and meet back up before finding a register. Her group consists of Kutty, Jamal, Mikayla, Kayla, Devante, Harrison and of course, her baby sister, Julianne. The entire time they shop, Kutty won't shut the hell up about some girl that he likes at school, who either won't acknowledge him or simply hasn't noticed him yet. Jasira finds it hard to tell or even keep up because when he's this excited he really talks five miles a minute, and he slips in and out of english. But, she's sure she's responded the way she's supposed to cus his voice has started cracking the way it does when he's whining yet. She's semi zoned out, reading a jar of roux, mentally kicking herself because she hates buying, but she's already too tired to make it from scratch.

"So, how things going witchu and ya lil vanilla dip?" He asks, slowly. He's still the only one who knows about Jennifer, the only one in her entire family who even knows she's dating again. So, his question immediately catches her attention. She picks her head up and turns towards him so face, she nearly gives herself whiplash.

"Shut up. Ion want Jamal hearing you and letting something slip to Mommy."

"Is you ashamed of her?"

"No," Jasira says, pointedly.

"Cus she white?" He adds, as if his sister hasn't already answered his question or her answer would change.

"Nigga, no," she says, tone twice as sharp as the last time she spoke. Inquiring eyes are still on her, suffocating her and she huffs, "I didn't plan on dating again this soon, and I don't need nobody in my ear about it," she brushes past him, putting the jar in her buggy, "Including you."

He ignores the last tidbit, "She cute?"

"Gorgeous."

"What she look like?"

"Didn't I say she was gorgeous?" Jasira huffs, knowing he won't let it go, "If I letchu say hey to her on skype tonight, do you promise to leave me the fuck alone and be nice to her?"

He beams and nods his head, excitedly. She gives him an eyeroll and a stiff smile. A smile that turns more genuine when her little brother, Jamal, runs up to her, wanting to know if she got the brand of rice that she likes. The kid's got a killer memory; she loves grocery shopping with him.

They meet back up with the others in the front of the store after about ninety minutes. When they get to the register, she's thankful her daddy spoils her, all of them, the way he does because there is no way in hell that she would be able to afford a third of this without the money he gave her this morning. And when they leave, she's still got money left over.

They make it home ten after six, and Jasira and the older kids immediately started cooking dinner. As they're cooking, she hears the younger kids arguing over what to watch. She's tired, more tired than she realized before so she sends Joaquin to handle it instead of taking her focus away from dinner to do so.

By the time she gets dinner finished, she's not even hungry anymore, just tired and feeling strangely wired up. When she's sure every kid has a plate, she heads into the bathroom to do her nightly routine. She doesn't know if JJ is still working, so she opens her laptop, opens Skype and waits idly by for her call. In the meantime, she surfs through channels, in hopes of finding something decent to watch. She settles on an In Living Color rerun because she doesn't have to really think about it while watching, and there's a marathon on. She's six episodes into the marathon by the time she gets an alert that JJ's skype icon pops up on her laptop screen.

She's excited to answer until she does, and she sees her face. She looks...drained. Utterly depleted. The excitement drains from her face.

"Are you okay?" JJ gives a tired smile and nods, but neither action feels sincere. "You want me to talk?" JJ repeats the same action. Jasira leans back, getting comfortable, "Aight, so," Jasira gets into her day. JJ listens to her talk, really, listens because it's the only bit of genuine peace she gets in her day, talking to Shy and listening to Shy talk. Mainly the latter, because she knows Shy has no issue filling the gaps when JJ has nothing to offer. Because she knows JJ won't push her to talk, if she doesn't want to. Because JJ likes to hear about the fullness of her life. Hers feels so empty.

Shy spares her the rehashing of her tearing into her dance team, but she talks about her plans for them tomorrow. JJ can't express how grateful she is, that Shy isn't her dance captain. She's strict, it seems. Not that JJ doesn't understand it. She's sure her soccer girls used to feel away about the way she ran her ship, too. She listens to her talk about having her siblings and nieces and nephews for the whole weekend. Apparently, it's a regular occurence, to give their parents a break. She tells JJ that's something that she has to look forward to, and JJ doesn't find it as nerve-wracking as she imagines she would have.

Eventually, Shy runs out of things to tell her, and JJ still hasn't found her words. So, it gets quiet until Jasira starts actually paying attention to what's on tv. She's an active tv view, which JJ finds to be utterly adorable. She just watches her do her while she waits for the energy to say something.

"You ever think about having kids?" The question comes without preamble, after a few hours of being on the phone. Three hours exactly, and JJ hadn't spoken yet. She had just finished up that arsonist murder case today, and it did not have a happy ending. She had held together at work because Hotch took it like he had lost a longtime friend of his. She'd stayed detached while working, but no one works a serial murder case where whole families, kids and all, are burned alive and sleeps at night, peacefully.

She got home and showered, washing all the metaphorical grime and soot off of her from the case before she called her girl. She hadn't intended to have carried any of that energy into their nightly session, but she didn't want to bring her detached, insincere self to Jasira, either. So, here she was, quietly sharing space with her girl, searching for words that haven't found her yet.

As time had passed, hearing Shy talk and sing themes and laugh at jokes, some of the ugliness of her day had begin to alievate. She feels herself become more open, less heavy, but even then, she let her girl do all the talking, and Shy hadn't minded occupying the empty space that JJ couldn't leave unattended. Until now, she didn't hadn't said anything that actually required response.

With a case like today, whole families being burned alive in the comfort of their own homes, having a family of her own was the furthest thing from her mind. Still, with some of the weight of the day drifting away from her, she hums and finds herself pondering the question.

"Well," she starts, trailing off to gather her thoughts properly, "Not realistically, no. Idyllically, sure. White picket fence, two or more kids, beautiful wife. That whole thing. It's always more of just a blurry idea. It never feels real or possible for me. "

"Why not?"

She sits up, resting her elbows on her knees, "I never really been serious enough with a girlfriend to really imagine as anything but a distant, fantasy ideal. Plus, I wouldn't really have the time." They are both quiet for a beat before she says, "It's scary, too, you know? With everything I see, it's hard to imagine having a kid, seeing what I see all the time. Having a kid," she shakes her head, the idea, realistically, stressing her out already, "That's your heart just walking around the world without you. You can't always protect them," she thinks about her sister, "You can't protect even them from themselves. It's terrifying."

Jasira just lets out a soft hmph. She thinks about her dad and her older brothers, her whole family, really. She thinks about how, as she was growing up, they went out of their way to treat she and her sisters like utter princesses. She knows it was in hopes that they would never accept anything less from a man. That them having a strong sense of self worth would shield them from the clutches of a devil in a human suit. She thinks about how despite all of that, she still ended up in the clutches of a demon like Bryce Wallace.

She thinks about her co-captain from high school and her best friend, who at sixteen was shot in her own front yard during her own birthday party because someone didn't like her brother. She remembers how warm her blood was on her hands, as she tried to apply pressure to the wound in her neck. All while laying in the grass next to her. She remembers how awkward the angle was and how because if that, she couldn't give it the pressure the wound needed, remembers how the blood felt gushing from her neck and through her fingers. More than all that, she remembers hearing her death rattle and seeing the life drain from her eyes. It was a slow process, longest three minutes of Jasira's life.

She thinks about how, a lot of her peers didn't make it to eighteen for similiarly stupid reasons. She thinks about how often the second line goes through her street, and how the latest celebration of life was for a nine year old, who caught a stray while at a park two weeks ago. She knows far too well the fear that JJ speaks of and the darkness that causes it. She hates that it's her norm, but at the same time, maybe because it's her norm, she still can't imagine not being a mom. She can't imagine that she would ever be happy, if she never gets to be a mom.

"What do you imagine your family to look like?" JJ asks, adding, "I know you want all that."

Jasira gives it thought before saying, "I don't wanna raise my kids here. I love New Orleans, I do. And, I've survived it," she says, and JJ immediately hears her knocking on wood after, "But, a lot of my peers growing up didn't, the people I personally considered friends, 'cept for a small few, didn't." It makes JJ's stomach clench, imagining how many funerals she's likely attended for her to say that so casually. It makes her heart hurt for her because she's only twenty-two. The only funerals she's ever gone to was her sister's and her maternal grandparents' down in Alabama, but she even didn't really remember the latter. That's how young she was. "I really ain't tryna my kids sleepin' on the floor to lessen the chances of them catchin' strays. I don't want them witnessing drug deals and being pressured into gang life. I don't want my kids frequently harrassed by police." She pauses, thinking about if she should say her next thought before ultimately deciding, fuck it, "I mean, my kids being harrassed by police is something I'm going have to prepare them for anyway, but I don't want it to be an every other day thing for them."

"Where would you move?"

"Not out of Louisiana. I love my culture too much." She answers without pause. JJ feels a wave of disappointment hit her, but she doesn't acknowledge it to herself, and she definitely doesn't say anything out loud.

"What about your future," she pauses, trying to find the right word as to not be presumptous; she knows Shy is queer, but she also knows sometimes, people have prefences. So, she's wondering, "spouse? How do you imagine them?" She face palms, shakes her head as soon as she asks, hearing how clunky it comes out. She feels like she's fishing. Maybe she is. She isn't planning anything, but it would nice to know. She likes Shy, and she's tired of short lived relationships that mean very little and go nowhere, tired of one night stands. She doesn't want to set herself for disappointment by getting too invested for the first time ever, either, though. She runs her fingers through her hair as she awaits Shy's response.

"Someone who make me feel safe, secure. That's the biggest thing. I don't want to fear my partner ever again, and I don't want my kids afraid of them, either. I wasn't scared of my daddy, never. I was reasonably scared of my mama, but my daddy was my ultimate happy place in human form. He still is. I need my kids to have that balance."

There's a queasiness swirling around her and she doesn't manage to stop herself before, "So, a husband, then?" tumbles out of her mouth. She immediately winces, and wants to ram her head into the coffee table for that.

"A wife, maybe." She says, and JJ lets out a sigh of relief. "Probably." Jasira says, and JJ falls back against her couch, unable to fight the way her lips curl up at that. "I picture myself with a wife in the long run, but I do also love men so I won't rule a husband out. I just don't see myself being serious with a man for a long time. It's hard for me to even imagine having sex with another man right now, but I think that's just 'cus of..." She cuts herself off, but JJ already knows who she's referring to. "But, I could end up with anybody. "

"So, how else do you imagine them?"

She hums, thinking, "Someone open-minded and kindhearted. Dependable. Someone dedicated to our family."

JJ winces. She thinks about her own family. About how her father could be anywhere from East Allegheny to Australia, and she would have no idea. She thinks about how she hadn't spoken to her own mother in a little over a decade, not really. She sends birthday cards and holiday cards, but that's all. The only family she has outside of work is her cousin Charlotte, and they aren't as active with each other as she wishes they were, but they do talk, at least. Even circling back to her own parents, she doesn't know that she would have ever describe her father as dedicated to the family. His job, maybe. Definitely, but not the family. He wasn't absent for a father but quality time with him was privileged, not inherently expected. And, both of her parents became downright neglectful after they lost Ros, but somehow still managed to have her on a leash. The doors were taken off the hinges and she couldn't do anything that didn't involve school or soccer or work, but they looked through her, not at her. And, they did a piss poor job at making sure she had everything she needed. She worries about what she might be like as parent, especially when she factors in her job. There's another reason a family has never existed in her mind beyond the basic, idyllic future. It wasn't a real vision so she could tell herself she didn't care if it passed her by or not.

"So, family oriented.." JJ mutters, almost to herself.

"Not necessarily." She shrugs. She knows a guy serving life in prison because he ate a charge for his own dad. She's never been naive enough to believe that the love running through her family was normal. Even her some of own siblings go through their own versions of hell with their mothers' side. She's always known that not everyone is as lucky as she is. "I don't really give a shit if they cool with they family; everybody got they own shit and I can't judge. Plus, my family fully adopts in laws. It's just, like, if ima marry and have kids with someone, I need them do be dedicated to what we create. I can't be feeling alone as a parent with a partner. I would rather just be single."

JJ hums, "Noted. What else?"

"I feel like you over there checking off boxes," and JJ can see Shy's teasing grin clear in her mind. She wishes she hadn't left her laptop in her office so she could actually see it. It's the prettiest thing in the world to her.

And, maybe a part of her is. Checking off boxes and hoping that, maybe, one day she grow and develop the traits she's missing. She shouldn't be thinking about that, and it's freaking her out that she is. She's still getting to know Shy and all. This is all brand new. Not just the connection that may be going somewhere (is hopefully going somewhere) but might also go nowhere at all, but the feeling that's been growing inside her since the moment she laid eyes on Jasira Boudreaux. This moth to a flame feeling. This can never seem to think about anything but her brainrot. This constant, floating on a cloud dreamstate. It's all new to her, and it's kind of fucking her up mentally.

They agreed to openness, keeping it casual until they decided that this was, indeed, going somewhere because with the distance, that's practical. It's fair. It keeps one of JJ's feet put of the door in case she ends up feeling that usual need to escape that comes with her trying to cultivate relationships. But, JJ hasn't seen another woman since she first laid eyes on Shy. Every since she first saw her dancing, only two women have existed in her world; Jasira and every other woman, and all the others bleed together. She's never felt that before. She's never cheated or anything, but she's always thought the you are all I see line was a crock of shit. And, there were definitely more than a few moments in her past where if she had a girlfriend, she would have to remind herself of that.

She finds her own feelings freaky as shit, and she doesn't want to freak Jasira out with her premature emotions. Especially given her lack of experience and desire to live a little before she settles into anything else heavy. Not that JJ can blame her; she's twenty-two and spent seven years in the tight fisted grip of a predator; JJ doesn't want to pressure her to do anything or move too fast.

She rolls her eyes and forces herself to chuckle before saying, "What else?"

"Someone I can have fun with, someone passionate. Someone attentive, a good listener. I don't like repeating myself with grown ass people. I said someone that makes me feel safe already, but that's really my number one thing, I don't know, Blue, I require a lot, now."

"It all sounds reasonable to me."

"I get the vibe that you don't really think about marriage much." Jasira says, before elaborating, "Like I feel like whether or not it's on ya mind is solely dependent on how you feel about who you dating. But, you don't seem like the kinda person who be thinkin' 'bout marriage, just to think about it. "

"That's," she pauses, recognizing the truth to her statement. A small but poignant jolt of electricity shocks her nerves, at the same time, as she realizes she's been thinking about it more and more since they've been talking every day, "oddly accurate. It'd be nice, though," she says, "having someone to share myself with, having someone to come home to."

JJ closes her eyes. For the first time, she thinks, really thinks about a wife as more than an abstract concept. For the first time, she thinks about what she actually wants her wife to be like. She wants someone that she wants to share her space with. Nothing sucks more than coming home after a long day, seeing your girlfriend and the only thought coming to mind is, "Why are you here?" She wants someone that doesn't make talking feel like a chore.

She wants someone patient, someone warm. Someone who can give her peace just be being around or talking to her. She wants to be with someone who can make grocery shopping fun because she finds it taxing.

As she thinks about it, she does think it's important for her girl to have a good relationship with her family. If she has kids, she wants them to experience summers having fun with their cousins. She wants them to be spoiled by their grandparents and aunts and uncles. She wants them to have a support system that exists outside of their little bubble. Aside from of one cousin, JJ doesn't have that, and she's just now realizing that she wishes she did.

She wants to be married to someone who makes her laugh. Funnily enough, she wants to be with someone who can touch her emotions enough to be able to make her cry, too. Anger is exhausting, but it's so easy. She doesn't even know if she can even still feel sadness; it's been too long since she let herself go there. She can't remember the last time she's cried, and before now, she had never really sat with her thoughts enough to consider that maybe that wasn't a good thing.

"So, you were dead silent for three hours today." Jasira notes, figuring since she was talking now, it'd be a good time to ask.

"I was," she pauses, thinking about the case and how she felt when she had first gotten home versus how she feels now, "decompressing."

"You feel better now?"

She doesn't feel a hundred percent, but she feels a bit lighter. Jasira sees and experiences enough ugliness and violence, JJ doesn't want to give her something else to carry. Even if only mentally. So, she says feels lighter because she does, and Jasira can hear a but underneath. She doesn't want her sleeping haunted by whatever they've been working on these past few days.

"If you talk about it, let it go then you might feel even better."

JJ sighs, "You don't want to hear that. Trust me."

"Blue, you needa release it." She can feel the weight she's carrying. Piece of her mind drifts to some of things her grandmother does for her when she feels mentally unwell, to give her piece of mind. Little practices that always work and have been passed down to her. Of course, they require JJ being physically present to perform so they have to settle for conversation. "Either say it to me or write it in a journal but you needa let that shit go. "

JJ clenches her jaw, then unclenches, then clenches and unclenches again. She sits up again, elbows on her knees once more. Shy doesn't say anything, doesn't want to push her any further. She exhales and grumbles something about getting a journal. She can't find it in herself to just dump all that shit on Shy when she's going through so much already. Jasira isn't bothered by not being spoken to about it. It takes time to open up; she just worries about JJ's mental wellness. And, she doesn't know JJ that well, but somehow, she doesn't seem like the journaling type. At least, she doesn't seem like she would pursue it without a push. So, Shy asks for her address, which JJ gives with a hesistance to her tone. Jasira writes it down, decides that she will buy and send her one, just so she at least knows she's serious about caring.

Jasira's bedroom door swings open, snatching both women's attention. Jasira's head snaps up as JJ's eyes reopen and she sits up. Considering everything JJ knows about, the sudden action has her on edge until she sees her girl's eyes relax. Jasira rolls her eyes as she relaxes once more.

"Jarelle," and JJ smiles at the tone of her voice. It's the same tone Roslyn used to take with her when she would catch her playing dress up in her closet, "What is your issue?"

"You think you so slick," Kutty replies, with their baby sister in his arms, "I know you in here talkin' to ya lil girlfriend."

JJ knows that voice. It's kind of hard to forget a teenage boy who's about as good an interrogator as Hotch. Her eyebrows raise at the title he's given her, though. She suppresses her smirk, quite eager to see how Shy will respond to the title. To see if she corrects it or not.

"So what if I am?" She reponds, turning JJ's repressed smirk into a small smile. She doesn't correct it. JJ isn't even going to pretend that it doesn't make her feel cocky. Every reminder she gets that Shy likes her, makes her feel like she can fly.

"You said I could see her." He rebuttals, and she rolls her eyes because she did say that. "Ima be good, swear," he adds and she slides over. He hands her off the baby before sliding in bed with her. He's beaming, and it makes JJ's chest feel lighter, because the last time they spoke, she found herself stressed. Stressed over if he liked her or not. Stressed over if whether he liked her or not would have any factor in the rest of their family liking her. Stressed over whether or not the family liking her would have any factor in Shy continuing to like her. But, he's happy to see her, now, and she's breathing easy. "Wassam," he greets and Jasira glares at him; he gives her a sideways glance and asks, "How you doing?"

JJ looks at Shy before she answers. Shy gives a lazy shrug of permission before focusing her attention on the baby girl in her arms who looks almost just like her. They have the same big brown eyes, their noses nearly identical. That baby girl has the cutest, most full head of curls. And, when Jasira starts to talk to her, she smiles the brightest smile. JJ manages to answer him, tells him she's doing well, but she can't take her eyes off Jasira with her baby sister. She feels her heart clench in her chest, watching how good Shy is with babies. Jarelle is watching her watch his sisters, and he leans back, crossing his arms over his chest. He unfolds one hand just enough to be able to rub his chin. That look in her eyes, when looking at his sister. So soft, so full of not just wonderment but care. Jasira's too busy to notice. He talks to JJ here and there, and she always reponds, but she never takes her eyes off his big sister. He remembers how Bryce used to look at her. All hard and mean, like she was something to be owned, just a thing and not a person at all. JJ doesn't look at Shy like she's a person, either, but she looks at her like she's a deity or something, and Kutty decides he likes that. He decides, if anyone is going to be worth his sister's time, it should be someone who looks at her like JJ is looking at her.

"Yeah, aight," he murmurs, "I get it," he slides off of her bed, "This is cool," he says, louder. Jasira squints at him as he leaves.

When the door closes, she looks back into the camera, at JJ. "He so weird, I'm sorry."

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━ NEXT CHAPTER

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━ PREVIOUS CHAPTER

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━ TABLE OF CONTENTS

#CHAPTERS #ro presents: under the new orleans stars #criminal minds #jennifer jj jareau #jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau x black!fem!oc #jennifer jareau x oc #jennifer jareau x fem!reader #jennifer jareau imagine #jennifer jareau x you #jennifer jareau x reader #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic

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soon-palestine · 5 months

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The London Stock Exchange raise billions of pounds for the apartheid state of Israel and actively boast about their support for Israeli businesses.

The exchange also trades shares in weapons manufacturers who arm Israel's genocide of the Palestinian people. 🧵

Whilst Palestinians are being massacred and remain brutally colonised by a regime which Britain backs, it is crucial that we disrupt every mechanism that enables their oppression.

Palestine Action has consistently taken direct action against the Israeli weapons trade.

We are unafraid of putting our liberty on the line in order to bring down Israeli weapons manufacturers and those who facilitate them.

If you want to join the fight, join us at http://bit.ly/JoinResist

BREAKING: Several actionists were arrested for allegedly conspiring to shut down the London Stock Exchange, who raise billions of pounds for apartheid Israel.

They were infiltrated by an undercover journalist, but the campaign to end Israel's weapons trade remains undeterred!

Daily Express journalist @MaxParry4 accepted a 2024 mentorship from the @JSchofieldTrust

then turned police informer on people trying to stop a genocide. 6 human rights activists arrested. https://express.co.uk/news/uk/1855620/Palestine-protest-arrest-London-Stock-Exchange 1/

@JSchofieldTrust mentors young journalists to honour the memory of John Schofield, killed aged 29, while reporting on the civil war in Yugoslavia for BBC Radio 4’s The World Tonight. 2/

'Six people who were believed to be plotting to cause economic chaos on Monday have been arrested thanks to information passed on by@MaxParry4 for @Daily_Express ' 3/

Meanwhile, in Gaza, Israel has murdered another journalist. So in 100 days, that's 119 journos & crew murdered, often in targeted killings, some with their entire families. 4/

Five of the six activists arrested for allegedly conspiring to disrupt the London Stock Exchange have been released.

One was charged and will appear at court to apply for bail shortly.

Mobilise from 10AM at Wirral Magistrates Court, 120 Chester St, Birkenhead, CH41 5DL 5/

#palestine action #palestine #gaza #free palestine #stop the genocide

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genderenvyninja · 1 year

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I made a compilation with some headcanons that I remembered about the Chaotix there on twitter and I'm gonna bring them here to spread a little more of the word of Chaotix Cariocas to y'all

Chaotix are Latinos, they're from the city of Rio de Janeiro specifically

Vector considers Silver one of his boys (this is technically canon)

Espio is latin blasian

Silver is an albino hedgehog

Espio and Charmy once shared a room but Vector had to get their own room before they killed each other

Espio is autistic, Charmy has ADHD and Silver is autistic with ADHD

Vector likes pagode, Silver likes samba, Espio likes rock and Charmy likes Xuxa

When Silver sleeps he is dead to the world until 10am and literally nothing wakes him up

Silver is a transmasc agender king

Vector won't let Espio out on cases alone after Sonic Rivals 2

Silver sets fire to whatever he sets out to cook

Vector and Eggman root for Vasco and have already met once at São Januário

Charmy is a die-hard fan of Naruto and gets on Espio's nerves for him to do Naruto's moves

Espio is a big fan of TMNT but no one knows it

Vector evades taxes

Silver's favorite food is chocolate ice cream

Silver has a garden in the backyard of the Chaotix Agency

All Chaotix break the 4th wall (Silver included), and Charmy uses Toon Force the most

Silver uses power inhibitors like Shadow's and if he doesn't use them, his psychic marks will spread through his body

Charmy and Cream have the ability to burn down a house when they're together

Vector takes Vanilla on dates to fancy restaurants to impress her

Vanilla is almost immune to getting drunk while Vector gets drunk on the first glass of Skol

Espio speaks Spanish, Portuguese, Libras and Japanese

The Chaotix have a curse jar, which is filled almost completely by Espio alone every month

Espio teaches Libras to Charmy so that when he becomes non-verbal he can still at least communicate with him, it's kinda their thing

Charmy has an afro hair and Espio constantly does hairstyles in it

Vector's snoring can be heard from across the block

Vanilla has a small restaurant in her village and the Chaotix are always there

Vanilla taught Espio and Silver how to knit

Espio can't swim if his life depended on it

Cream and Silver like to pick flowers from Silver's garden together

Gemerl is the official babysitter of the house

Silver and Charmy are sugar addicts

Espio and Chamy met first and only later met (were adopted) by Vector

Espio has a super cheap, crappy motorcycle that Vector got him for his 16th birthday, but he loves it and Charmy has filled it with stickers

#and those are just the ones i can remember at the moment #my hc galery #chaotix detective agency

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dhr-ao3 · 2 months

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Prefect Troubles

Prefect Troubles https://ift.tt/DWsfy3O by FreyasFreckles In summer holidays’ past Hermione would typically deposit her wand at the bottom of her trunk. She was afraid that having it at easy reach would make it too tempting to practice the magic she was learning about when she began her reading list for the following year. She would not break under-age magic restrictions. But she had not hidden it this summer. This summer her wand was never more than an arm’s length away. Expulsion from Hogwarts was hardly her worst fear anymore. In fact, it barely registered on her ever-growing list of fears. This 6th-year re-write fic captures Hermione's point-of-view during the events of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and includes my take on a plausible dramione 6th year romance. Words: 10100, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Lavender Brown Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Hogwarts Sixth Year via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/GbXL6a1 April 05, 2024 at 02:10AM

#IFTTT #Dramione #Draco x Hermione

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rainydaycafe · 11 months

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A Shaken Espresso, Please - Ch. 3

Pairing: Professor! Stephen Strange au x OC fem! graduate school student (and barista)

Summary: Professor Strange has a reputation that proceeds him and a finicky taste for off-campus coffee. Enter a graduate school attending barista. This is their story.

Warnings: age difference (older Stephen), mentions of sex, insecurity, and an inhumane amount of fluff with tumultuous thoughts

A/N: use your sexy mind to send me prompts if that pleases you and I will fulfill them. ily.

Chapter 2

Life seems different now since, as it turns out, before Stephen life had been almost… lonely.

The seemingly endless monotony in the repetition life had presented prior to which consisted of early morning lectures stretching into late night readings with work and life in the middle has been altered.

Stephen Strange, not Professor Stephen or Professor Strange- just Stephen.

Stephen who has an affinity for criticizing terrible medical scenes in movies yet remains quiet when one is getting particularly interesting.

The same Stephen who fills her apartment with the sound of his typing on quiet evenings where they silently agree to get some work done before indulging in dinner and a movie or two.

Jazz music has become common in her home, both of them sharing music with one another whenever possible.

A couple of times a week Stephen will receive a quick call from his mom asking for an update, her own special way of making sure he’s alive and well. Emilia watches as Stephen paces, eager to get off of the phone but still patient with his mother’s conversation as he gently touches the items on Emilia’s bookshelves or rests his head in her lap as though he’s done it for years.

Yes Emilia has friends and they’re quite nice, but this is different.

It’s a different connection entirely.

Stephen 8:00am:

I can’t believe I stepped foot in the Starbucks on campus. Not only was it absolutely jam packed, they got my order wrong. It tastes like a battery with lemon juice on it.

Emilia 8:10am:

I’ve never been there but it always makes me itchy to think about going in because it’s always so full and busy. I feel for the employees, though.

Stephen 8:12am:

Itchy?

Emilia 8:14am:

I mean the thought of it makes me skin crawl. I can’t believe I have to break that down for you. Your lack of English training shows.

Stephen 8:16am:

Excuse me? I have a PhD and an MD. I’m very well trained.

Emilia 8:19am:

You have a PhD and an MD? I would’ve never guessed. If I ever need a tutorial on how to do burr holes you will be my first call. But you still couldn’t decipher what I meant by itchy.

Stephen 8:24am:

“Makes me itchy” is not a real thing.

Emilia 8:25am:

It is a real thing because it’s a metaphor. I’m applying “itchy” to something that can’t actually be “itchy”. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Stephen 8:27am:

I can’t believe you’re trying to prove me wrong while I’m preparing for my 9am lecture. You’re distracting me. That makes ME itchy.

Emilia 8:30am:

I was allowing YOU to distract ME from my class. But now I’m being accused of being a distraction? Fine! Good luck with your itchiness, Stephen!

Stephen 8:33am:

I was simply telling you about my morning trip to Starbucks and then you turned it into an attack on my “lack of English training”. If anything I should be miffed at you.

Stephen 8:37am:

Come back. You haven’t wished me good luck with work today,

Stephen 8:40am:

Come back honey.

After two classes Emilia had gone off to work her daily shift at the cafe, biting back a smile when she saw Stephen step into the cafe at his usual Monday time.

Knowing his order, Emilia began preparing it before Stephen could finish paying, feigning innocence as he walked over to her with narrowed eyes.

“Any particular reason I haven’t received a message back?” Stephen asked.

“Hello to you too, Dr. Strange,” Emilia said as though Stephen were any other regular customer, “I haven’t needed help with burr holes so I thought there was no reason to,”

“Oh really? Well I didn’t think I needed to be educated on metaphors and being itchy but yet here we are,” Stephen responds.

“It was so much more than being itchy. It was a take on my social discomfort but it flew over your perfectly groomed head,” Emilia says with a sigh, “Tragic,”

Stephen smiles, watching as she dumps his drink into the cup before pouring in the perfect amount of half and half as she had begun doing the second she learned his order.

“You look very beautiful today,” Stephen says, absolutely aware he’s schmoozing her- but hey, it works.

This catches Emilia off guard as she pauses in the middle of snapping the lid on but she smiles at him and hands it off to him.

“Thank you. You look very handsome,”

“You flatter me,” Stephen says, mixing his drift with well practiced swirls, “Are you free tonight? I’d like to have you over to cook for you,”

Something about being invited into his home is surprising to Emilia, and it catches her off guard almost entirely.

It’s not something that had really crossed her mind as she had been busy imagining other things, but never Stephen’s home or what it would actually be like.

Being invited into the sacred space which was someone’s home was special and it was intimate in its own way since it was where they spent the most time and likely felt the safest.

“I’d love to. What time?” Emilia tells him, stamping down the nerves she feels.

“What time are you off here? Do you want to go home or do you want to go straight from here?” Stephen asks, genuinely giving her either choice.

“I’m off at 6:30 today and I think I’ll just go straight from here to avoid any delay,”

Stephen smiled his genuine smile and nodded, “Perfect. I’ll text you the address and I’ll see you there. Don’t even think about asking if you need to bring anything because this is all me,”

________________

Emilia knew Stephen had money.

Afterall, Stephen was a well respected, very well qualified professor at a great university so she knew they had to be paying him well.

The actual sight of the money was surprising, especially when Stephen opened the door and gave her a tour of his very, very nice apartment.

2 bedroom, very spacious, and just about every person’s dream when it came to the absolute killer view it had of the city with the huge windows that lined the walls of the living room.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m making baked chicken with veggies and baked potatoes,” Stephen said, leading them to the kitchen where he put both the tray with chicken and vegetables alongside the tray with foil wrapped potatoes.

“Of course it’s okay. I would eat cereal if you made it for me,” Emilia said with a smile.

“We have some time to kill, do you want to watch a movie?” Stephen asked as they began heading towards the couch, Emilia agreeing to watch Good Will Hunting, one of Stephen’s favorite movies.

It was easy to become fully immersed in the movie, not really noticing the way Stephen would glance at her time and time again, feeling content with the evening and what was to come with the both of them just spending time together.

“So he’s a really smart underachiever,” Emilia observes about 25 minutes into the movie, turning to Stephen who tells her it’s an extreme oversimplification but agrees nonetheless.

Her attention turns to him, reaching out to rub the blunt tips of her tails through the soft hair at the back of his head, ignoring the movie as she wonders what kind of hair products he uses since he has nice hair and must take care of it.

Stephen turns to her, ignoring the young Matt Damon in favor of leaning forward to kiss her and satisfy the temptation he’s had since he laid eyes on her again.

A kiss hello wasn’t enough, and he hoped it never would be.

They had kissed before, but this was deep in a way they hadn’t touched before with their chaste kisses.

Bringing her closer, Stephen tilted his head to the right as Emilia did the same, following his lead as their lips moved in tandem together as the movie continued on in the background.

Her hands grip at his shoulders as Stephen works her lips open with his tongue, catching her off guard, opening up hesitantly to have her tongue meet his as he gently moved so they were both reclined back.

Stephen kisses her again, deep and intimate as her legs fall open and he settles between them, the evening stubble that’s grown on his face tickles and burns in the best way possible.

The hot press of his tongue against the roof of her mouth has her running her nails down his back settling on his lower back, realizing this is the first time she’s ever had the heavy weight of a man on top of her,

Stephen pulls away only to begin kissing down her cheek and towards her neck, something she’s never thought about in terms of how it would make her feel. He sucks deep on her neck, Emilia whining despite her self control, pressing against the back of his head.

Kissing her hot and deep again, she hears him murmur, “Don’t be shy, baby, let me hear you,” in a deep, husky, out of breath voice that snaps her back to reality in a second.

“Stop, stop, stop,” Emilia says, tapping her hands at Stephen’s shoulders, and he does. He quickly moves off of her and sits back, looking concerned as he worries his lower lip watching closely as Emilia sits up and attempts to regain some composure.

“Was it too much?” Stephen worries.

“No I-” Words fail her and she looks through the window out towards the expansive city and recollects her thoughts which isn’t much help as she ends up blurting, “I don’t want to have sex,”

“We don’t have to have sex,” Stephen said calmly, evidently sex not being an uncomfortable subject, “We don’t have to have sex until you’re ready.”

“Okay. Good. I just don’t want to do it when there’s dinner waiting and- and- it’s all in a rush because I don’t think I can do it in a rush. I’ve never done it at all before so I don’t think doing it in a rush is a good way to be introduced,”

Stephen watched her ramble with an amused expression, biting back a smile.

“You’ve never had sex before?” Stephen asks, his voice laced with amusement.

“No,” Emilia answers, feeling out of her depth for what has to be the thousandth time and she blushes because it’s uncomfortable and she feels childish for finding it uncomfortable.

“That’s- really? I would think you had,” Stephen asked, genuine surprise in his tone as he asked.

“Why? Do I come off as someone who has had lots?” Emilia asked, acutely aware of how people’s perception of her might impact a lot of things.

“No!” Stephen says quickly, “Not at all. You come across as very reserved and respectable. I just mean; have you looked at yourself in a mirror? I thought it was a miracle you were single so I never considered you never having had sex,”

“Oh,” Emilia felt flattered, “Well no. Nobody’s ever- I’ve never- I’ve never been intimate with someone, before. I just never found the right person or the right time and before I knew it, my undergrad was over and I hadn’t dated anyone or had a one night stand. How about you?”

“Have I had sex before? Yes. I’ve had sex- well I won’t say a lot because I wasn’t ever easy or careless, but I’ve had sex before,”

“Okay,” Emilia says as she’s unsure of what to say so she avoids his eyes.

Stephen allows her to simmer in the silence he knows she finds uncomfortable for a few moments more before speaking again.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for or anything you’re not 100% comfortable with. I like spending time with you and being with you. I’m not just here because I am interested in what you offer physically,” Stephen confessed and Emilia felt lighter at his confession, relieved.

Looking down at her hands for a moment she nodded eventually.

“Okay. I’m sorry for freaking out. I just got overwhelmed with it all,”

“Apologies are for when you’ve done something wrong. Something that needs to be excused,” Stephen says with a wave of the hand, “We have a bit until the food is ready so let’s watch the movie, okay?”

There was about 20 minutes left and they filled the time with watching the movie and sharing comments here and there, but before long Stephen had served their plates as Emilia served both of them water.

Originally Stephen had planned for them to have a nice wine with their dinner, however the way Emilia scrunched her face involuntarily at the mention of wine had nixed that idea quite quickly.

“Have you dated a lot?” Stephen asked as he sliced into his chicken, “Any serious relationships? Spiteful ex-boyfriends I should be wary of?”

“No, thankfully there is no dangerous psychopathic ex-boyfriend to be aware of which is a bonus. There were a couple of dates during undergrad but they were never anything serious; both because I didn’t want to be mean,” Emilia confesses, smiling when Stephen chuckles a bit, “How about you?”

“A few ex-girlfriends but none are dangerous. There was Maya in undergrad. We dated but it was never anything life altering. We were together about 2 years, but when I graduated we both mutually knew we were done and it was amicable. I think she’s a lawyer now,” Stephen explains, “Then there was Isabella. I- we were quite serious. We met in medical school and dated throughout, going to the same hospital for our internships and I wanted to propose to her since she was good enough, I suppose is the way to put it,”

“Good enough?” Emilia asked.

“I don’t mean to say that I was settling but I was, if I’m being honest. I knew that if I were ever going to get married I needed someone who understood the difficulties of my job and how demanding, all encasing, and stressful it was,” Stephen continued, “I loved her, but I was never truly in love with her. But after the accident I was really hateful and just angry at the entire world and universe so I just took it out on everything and everyone for a while. Isabella and I broke up but it was for the best. I don’t think I would’ve ever been truly happy had everything gone as planned,”

“I see what you mean. You saved the both of you from being in unfulfilling relationships,”

“I did. Were you never interested in relationships?”

“I won’t say that I wasn’t, but my dad passed away when I was 14. It was very sudden and it tore my world apart, ripping it to shreds. Everything was upside down and nothing was okay for a long time. This was during the time when everyone is dating and exploring all of that but I was caught up in grief and loss, trying to process and live in a world devoid of my dad when I had never been without him,” Emilia says softly, “I felt such tremendous loss that there were days I felt I couldn’t breathe. Eventually things got better and I went to therapy, but by the time I left for college I had shut away into my own world, keeping few people closeby, and I liked it that way. Plus I never felt anything exciting for anyone regardless,”

“I understand. Losing anyone, especially a parent is a life altering experience,” Stephen said, “I’m sorry about your dad, really. But I think it’s really special how you have his name as your middle name,”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. I’ve come to terms with it. I still miss him but he’s with me always,” Emilia said with a smile, “I’m happy to be here with you. I’m glad we are in each other’s lives,”

There was a lightness and a sincerity in her tone, the way she said the words so easily and with such affection, Stephen felt a deep burning in his chest that settled in his stomach, providing a warmth that was unfamiliar but welcomed.

“I am too. I’m glad that you didn’t let my reputation dissuade you,” Stephen confessed, “It isn’t a very welcoming one,”

“I don’t work in the science department, silly. I had never heard of you before I met you directly,”

_____________________

Though work got in the way of being together physically, they always found time for one another even if it was just a phone call.

It’s just always nice to know someone is thinking about you and that someone wants to talk to you.

“Today one of my students got upset with another during the ethic’s course about the moral qualities of testing on animals like chimpanzees and such,” Stephen explained from where he was at his desk.

“I would not like to be in that lecture hall,”

“Why not? This course always has heavy conversation for the mind,” Stephen offered.

“He always has heavy conversation for the mind, which means a lot to me cause’ good men are hard to find,” Emilia sang, earning a laugh from Stephen who recognized the song, “But anyway, it’s just that I just can’t even fathom not crying while discussing that,”’

_______________-

Feeling like a fool was not something Emilia was unfamiliar with.

Middle school had been full of the sensation, but she had hoped to be past it but life had other intentions it seemed.

In an offhand comment, Stephen had mentioned a craving for double chocolate cookies; mentioning a bakery near his childhood home had the best ones but he had never tasted cookies again after moving away to study.

Against the effort the heaviness in her eyes did to send her off to sleep, Emilia went into her closet to carefully take out her dad’s handwritten cookbook to find his recipe for double chocolate, fudge cookies.

It hadn’t been a recipe Emilia had tried before since she wasn’t all too fond of chocolate, but for Stephen she found herself weighing out flour at 11pm, excited and feeling more awake at the prospect of Stephen feeling excitement for the cookies.

Dozing off on the couch while the cookies chilled for half an hour hadn’t been a part of the plan, but by 1:30am Emilia was setting the final batch of cookies onto the cooling rack and heading to her well awaited bed.

The hours Emilia craved were not available since she had both work and class, but sleeping in was a luxury only for the weekends.

Packing up Stephen’s cookies nicely, Emilia placed them in the bottom of her bag and went on with her day, knowing she would see Stephen later on when he came to the cafe for his Monday coffee pick-me-up.

Constantly checking to make sure the cookies hadn’t somehow exploded or crumbled into dust happened more than she would admit.

Classes went by quickly and she found herself fixing her apron and finding herself behind the familiar coffee counter that she found an odd amount of comfort in.

Comfort in structure, it must be .

By the time Stephen came around, Emilia had already brought the container with his cookies up to where she could grab it and hand it to him, so when she saw him her heart spiked a bit and she smiled despite herself.

The smile painting her features only faded when she saw him hold open the door and continue chatting with a very pretty woman he had brought to the cafe.

There was an odd and deeply sinking feeling Emilia felt in her chest, pausing for a moment before she caught herself and began preparing the coffee she knew he’d order.

However when Stephen and his companion got to the register, he sent Emilia a smile and ordered something completely different, opting for a cold brew with a splash of sweet cream at the insistence of the woman he was with.

Everything felt wrong and Emilia felt wrong as well, as though she had stepped into an alternate universe but she soon told herself she was being exaggerated.

Christine

That was what the cups Maggie sent Emilia’s way told her, and it all made sense and connected in her head, delivering a blow to her she hadn’t been expecting.

Shit.

Turning around to fill their cups with their identical drinks, Emilia took a deep breath and told herself to take a breath because she was not going to cease to exist because of this. It was just another order. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Thoughts ceased to exist, however, and Emilia ran on autopilot as she went through the ministrations, reaching underneath the counter to grab the sweet cream from the refrigerator.

Stephen stood where he always stood which was near the bar but for the first time she wished him to be far away.

“Hey there,” Stephen said with his casual smile and Emilia sent him one back, but he knew something was off in an instant.

“Trying something new today I see,” Emilia commented softly, eyeballing the amount of sweet cream before grabbing the lids and snapping them on securely, sending them on their way to the pick-up counter.

“Christine was insistent I try the cold brew here,” Stephen explained, grabbing both drinks as Christine came over to grab hers, “This is Professor Palmer,”

Oh.

So this was the woman Stephen had gone to dinner with a few weeks prior.

She was every bit beautiful and poised as Emilia had imagined her to be if Stephen had taken her out.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Emilia said with another empty smile, grateful to the universe when Christine excused herself to go look at the pastry display which had gone unnoticed by her earlier.

“Are those cookies?” Stephen suddenly asked, bringing his attention to a container on the back counter, a neon pink sticky note attached to it.

The embarrassment and need for the earth to swallow her whole became stronger and Emilia quickly grabbed the container and handed it over to Stephen who looked surprised.

“I remembered you mentioned wanting the double fudge cookies and I had a bit of extra time last night so I baked some,” Emilia played it off as though she hadn’t lost precious sleep for a man she had just come to realize she couldn’t even call her own.

“I- you’re so thoughtful,” Stephen said with his eyes full of affection, “Thank you. Really. I’ll call see you later,”

Emilia nodded mutely, waving half-heartedly as Stephen left with Christine, disappearing out of view and leaving her feeling as though she had gotten punched in the stomach by a boxer.

A well trained boxer at that.

Their Monday night dinner plans at Emilia’s apartment weighed over her head even heavier now. Stephen had never stepped foot in her apartment and she had been nervous about it before this entire experience

Finally losing the tension in her shoulders, Emilia was surprised to feel a humiliating burn behind her eyes before her vision was blurred with tears she couldn’t hold back.

It was empty so an escape to the staff restroom was easy, and she rested her hands on either side of the sink and took a few deep breaths before she got a look at herself in the mirror.

Stephen had never mentioned them being something exclusive.

This was on her as well for allowing herself to fall into the miscommunication trope she disliked reading so much in romance novels.

“He thinks this but she thought that”

Emilia knew that Stephen was an attractive, successful man so it was only going to be a matter of time before she no longer served to fill the space interest in his life and needed to be replaced.

She hadn’t thought it would be so soon, and she was fully unprepared for the deep sadness she suddenly felt overcome her.

It wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling, but it was still unwelcomed.

Wiping her eyes, she assumed what little dignity she had left and exited the restroom to continue her shift after washing her hands.

Because while she might feel like her chest had been tap danced on by a neuroscience professor, work remained to be done and caffeine demanded to be handed out so she continued on with her work day with the ever lingering shadow of her thoughts surrounding her.

______________

On their own walk back to campus, Stephen smiled as Christine mentioned Emilia.

“Going for the younger generations I see,” Christine teased. “What is she in undergrad?”

“Oh ha-ha you’re just so funny, she’s getting her masters” Stephen corrected, “Add comedian to your resume,”

“I just might. You can add “crib snatcher” to yours. It’ll add to the mysterious aura you have,”

Rolling his eyes, he couldn’t help the laugh that came out because it had been a good joke.

“She’s not in the biology department is she?” Christine asked as they stopped to wait for their turn to cross the street.

“No, she’s studying English,”

Christine looked genuinely surprised as she turned to look at him, “Really?”

“What?” Stephen asked with genuine curiosity

“You’re dating an English major? I would have never thought,” Christine said, evidently sent off into a thoughtful world at the thought of it.

“Don’t exaggerate,” Stephen said as they began crossing the road and Christine scoffed at that, knowing she was in the right.

“Stephen. You make it a hobby of yours to belittle any line of study that isn’t in the “useful sciences” as you say. I vividly remember you saying that the humanities is for the people who can’t fathom using their brain for something other than reading sentimental words written by people with too much time on their hands,” She deadpanned.

Okay so he does remember saying that because while he had an eidetic memory- it had been a few days before meeting Emilia but he was free to have a change of heart.

“Well I’m entitled to have a change of heart when it comes to the humanities and their studies,” Stephen tried and Christine laughed again.

“Yeah. Especially if that change of heart comes in the form of a pretty girl who’s enamored by you and your arrogantly charming ways that somehow got through to her,”

Stephen scoffed, “I’ll have you know I’m not an ass to everyone I encounter,”

“No but you’re arrogant, Stephen. Everyone knows that you are as arrogant as you want to be so I’m just saying that it’s surprising to see you dating someone who is younger and isn’t a gifted neuroscientist in the making or is involved in the science field somehow,”

They were both quiet while Stephen attempted to settle his thoughts and Christine felt proud for having shut him up for a few moments by proving herself right.

“She doesn’t care about our world, Christine. She doesn’t care about who got what funding, who has done what research, or who is breaking new ground.” Stephen eventually confessed once they were closer to campus, “I didn’t know but that’s what I needed. I don’t need someone who is obsessed with potential success or who is constantly reminding me of what could have been. Emilia is neither and she’s a bright spot in my life,”

Christine looked genuinely surprised, and she admitted as such.

“This is the first time you’ve ever spoken about someone this way,” Christine said as they both stopped before they parted ways, “You’re maturing, and if this is Emilia then she’s good for you,”

Stephen’s response was just a smile and a shrug before they went their separate ways, Stephen’s thoughts a mix of his upcoming lecture and Emilia.

__________

Work had thankfully not dragged on as there was a conference going on around the corner so there was a steady stream of people the remainder of her work day for which she was grateful.

Busy hands and minds don’t allow for too much free thought.

On the short walk home, Emilia had made a small detour to her favorite grocery store to buy spinach and canned tomatoes for the dinner she had been planning to make for herself and Stephen.

Preparing for dinner, Emilia leather thoughts slip out towards Stephen.

Perhaps it was all because of sex.

The little “freak out” she had when they had kissed on his couch had probably let him know he wouldn’t be getting anything sexual with her anytime so he must have thought to get it elsewhere.

Then again it was unfair to think about Christine as just his sexual escapade since she seemed to be a woman who would demand more out of a relationship than just sex.

Not that there wasn’t respect in sex but-

Good God her thoughts were all mixed up and she couldn’t tell her left from her right.

Now she was even thinking about the respect Christine had for herself. Of course she did. All women had respect for themselves and she knew that, but her thoughts were so entangled she was thinking out of her ass it seemed.

It all could just be narrowed down to the fact that Stephen might just be playing the field and Emilia had been the fool all along, thinking that there had been a serious relationship between them without it ever being explicitly verbalized.

There was nobody to blame here and it was something to be aware of.

Except for herself maybe.

You just got your hopes up. Emilia thought to herself as she bit into a slice of an apple she had sliced, expecting Stephen soon.

Though she’d never admit to Stephen, Emilia listened to Girl Crush by Little Big Town to feel at least a little bit better.

“I want to taste her lips, yeah ‘cause they taste like you, I wanna drown myself, in a bottle of her perfume,” Emilia sang along, feeling as though she were ready to be in a romantic drama.

The wait for his arrival was short, his knocks served as a reminder that she was supposed to be chopping spinach and not daydreaming about this or contemplating that.

Opening the door, Stephen stood on the other side looking casual, handsome, and with a lovely bouquet of flowers; his face soft and his eyes so inviting Emilia felt she could’ve burst into tears right then and there.

“Hey, come in,” Emilia said, smiling as Stephen handed her the flowers and reached down to take his shoes off, remembering Emilia’s mention of never wearing shoes in her home.

His kiss hello was soft and sweet, and she wished she could stay there forever but she pulled away nonetheless.

“I’m making vegetarian pasta, I hope that’s okay,” Emilia said, gesturing over to the kitchen which was next to the front entrance.

“I’ll eat anything you make,” Stephen said, watching as Emilia went over to continue chopping, excusing himself to look through her apartment in the way only intimate partners and friends are allowed to. He relished that.

Books lined a wall in a nice bookshelf, photos set here and there on empty shelves which he inspected.

Some photos of a younger Emilia sat there, one was of her with what had to be her dad. They were identical in the way that daughters and fathers are, she had his eyes and the kindness in them was there for both of them.

Emilia couldn’t have been older than four or five in the picture, both of them resting their heads against one another and grinning at the camera in the unashamed way only children know how to do.

“You were in jiu-jitsu?” Stephen asked, admiring the photo of Emilia wearing a dark blue jiu jitsu gi, holding up a green belt with a proud grin on her face as she held it up to the camera, her hair in two braids he assumes were messed up during training.

“Oh yeah. My dad owned a jiu-jitsu academy and I started training as soon as I could walk,” Emilia said with a smile, “I was apparently a natural,”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“I did. A lot of parents assumed I was only training because my parents were forcing me to do it but I genuinely enjoyed it. I took a couple of breaks here and there and my parents were never upset about it,” Emilia explained, “I stopped when I was 14, though. I only got to that green belt,”

“Why?”

“Because my dad passed away a few weeks later and I just never wanted to do it again. It was something I couldn’t do without him and I just didn’t find it fun anymore so I stopped,”

“I’m sorry,” Stephen said sincerely and Emilia smiled at him.

“It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong,”

There was a beat of silence before Stephen spoke again.

“It’s been over 10 years since you trained, right? Do you think you could still kick my ass?”

Emilia laughed a genuine laugh, “Stephen. I was on my second to last belt at 14. I could have you on the ground before you knew what was happening,”

For some reason, Emilia was very attractive to him at that moment.

Next to that frame, there was a photo capturing an older version but still younger than now Emilia, standing with both her mom and dad on a pier somewhere. Probably 12 or 13, she looked as she did now and as she had in the other photo, but with that adolescent insecurity and shyness that plagued everyone during that stage of life.

Much to Stephen’s surprise, at the top shelf there was a framed black and white photo of Harry Styles showing his teeth in a way he found odd.

“Is this Harry Styles?” Stephen asked, pointing to the photo and Emilia flushed and bit and nodded.

“Yeah. It’s a good photo, I like it,” Emilia attempted to defend lightly.

“I don’t know. I’m kind of offended you don’t have a framed photo of me up there,” Stephen said, staring at the photo as though it were personally offending him by merely existing.

Emilia gave him an unamused look, “I don’t see a framed photo of myself in your apartment either. Curious, isn’t it?”

“You haven’t been in my apartment in a few days. You don’t know what I’ve done in terms of decor in a week,” He defended.

“I do know because you would’ve told me,” Emilia responded, adding the spinach into the pan to get it cooked down and sauteed.

“Perhaps. But either way, you’re the background on my phone so that’s more than you,” Stephen said with an accomplished smile, liking how he had won the back and forth battle.

“I am not,”

“Yes you are,”

“You’re bluffing,”

“You want to bet?” Stephen asked, “I’ll bet you cleaning up after dinner. If you’re right then I’ll clean up, but if I’m right you clean up,”

They stared at one another, daring the other to prove the other wrong. Willing the other to back down.

Stubbornness was something they both shared, it seemed, so neither wavered.

“Fine, I’ll take that bet,” Emilia said, letting the wooden spoon she was using to jostle around the spinach down in favor of turning to face Stephen who reached into his pocket as he walked over to her.

Setting down his phone facing down, he slid it over to her and she met his gaze before reaching for it and flipping it over, tapping the screen to have it light up to reveal Stephen’s background which was in fact a photo of her.

Not what she would consider to be a flattering photo by any means- it was her work focused on God knows what, completely oblivious to the fact that Stephen had been taking a photo of her.

“Oh,” Emilia says, staring at the phone, seemingly dumbfounded by this new information.

Nothing was making sense. Stephen had her as his phone background and that made her heart soar. Maybe this was the way people dated? She couldn’t be entirely sure since she wasn’t exactly well practiced in the area and she didn’t want to ask in case the answer was a painful one.

“Well I guess I’m on dish duty,” Emilia finally said, handing Stephen’s phone back to him and he saw something off with her, but he didn’t ask right then.

The rest of the evening passed in the same way; Emilia was there and she was present, but at times her thoughts drifted elsewhere and she seemed much more subdued than he had seen before.

Stephen noticed, but he didn’t say anything as he thought she was caught up in her own thoughts with school and work.

It wasn’t until they were on the couch, Stephen having relented and washed the dishes as Emilia chose something for the both of them to watch, when he brought up her mood as she got lost in thought once again, a sadness glazing over her eyes as she did.

“What’s on your mind?” Stephen asked, resting a hand on one of the legs she had extended over his own lap, “Don’t tell me that it’s nothing because I know that it isn’t. You’ve been thoughtful all evening. Too thoughtful, even for you,”

Dammit.

“Oh it’s nothing bad, I’m just- I don’t know,” Emilia responded, losing steam before she even started speaking.

Stephen turned so he was facing her, “C’mon. I know it’s something that’s weighing on you. You can talk to me about anything, Emilia,”

Looking down, Emilia pulled her legs towards her and brought her knees towards her chest, willing herself to say something, for once.

“Seeing you with Christine- or well Professor Palmer made me feel silly. I thought that we were something serious and exclusive but I guess I had been willfully ignoring the fact that we aren’t, ” Emilia confessed, “I- I just can’t do that casual dating situation. I feel too strongly to just be okay and casual about you going out with other people and finding someone else- someone better that’s more well fitted. You know I’m way too emotional to pretend I don’t care. I cried last week when we watched Wall-E,”

This was genuinely surprising to Stephen who had expected to hear that she was overwhelmed with work and school piling up, or that she was behind academically. Their relationship being something that plagued her negatively hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“Emilia. Sweetheart you’ve got it all mixed up in that head of yours,” Stephen started, but when Emilia was on a roll in terms of rambling it was difficult to get her to stop fully and she hadn’t heard him at all it seemed.

“I know that it might just be sex with her but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I think it actually makes me feel worse,” Emilia said, continuing on as though he hadn’t spoken at all, “So if that’s what works for you I’m sorry, but I just- I’m not that girl, Stephen. You’re a well respected professor and you want someone on your level but I can’t just be a placeholder for that person,”

“Wait- what? Emilia. Shut up for a second,” Stephen said, effectively getting Emilia snap her jaw shut and listen for the first time since her whole rant started, “You’ve dug yourself into a hole that is completely unnecessary, Emilia. I am most certainly not seeing or much less sleeping with Professor Palmer who is just a friend of mine. We only went to that dinner together because we’re in the same department and her fiance was out of town,”

The silence felt deafening to Emilia.

“Oh,” Was what she finally said, feeling embarrassed and ashamed, unaware of what to say. In that moment she wished the earth would swallow her whole and spit her out on another continent.

“I wish you would talk to me instead of working yourself up,” Stephen confessed softly, “But I also know that you aren’t very experienced with relationships so I should take that into account as well so I’m sorry for that,”

Emilia quickly looked up at him, “No you don’t have anything to apologize for. I should’ve talked to you instead of being stupid,” She told him quickly, degrading herself in a way Stephen didn’t find amusing.

“Don’t call yourself stupid. You’re not stupid but your comment about me wanting someone who was “on my level” was stupid because you are on my level. If I didn’t think you were, I wouldn't have ever given you the time of day. I know that you know about my reputation and it’s there for a reason,” Stephen told her, maintaining eye contact, “You excite me. You’re intelligent, quick as a whip, kind, beautiful, sensitive, and destined for greatness. I am lucky to be around you, not the other way around,”

Taking time to digest the comments, the only noise in the room was that of the movie playing through the room as they both reminded quiet.

“I’m sorry,” Emilia suddenly apologized, her gaze anywhere but on him.

“You’re sorry? What are you sorry for?”

“For taking things out of context? For jumping to my own conclusions,”

Stephen shook his head kindly, “You should only apologize when you’ve done something wrong. You haven’t harmed anyone aside from yourself,”

Glancing at his watch, it was a quarter to nine and they had both spent plenty of time indoors for one day- Emilia especially as she had worked herself up into a fit about things that weren’t even truly happening.

“C’mon, let’s go for a drive,” Stephen suggested, standing, “We can stop somewhere for dessert,”

Emilia hesitated, “But you’re going to be tired tomorrow and you have a 7am lecture,” She reminded.

“Well luckily I know this really beautiful barista,” Stephen said, holding his hand out for her to take, “Now, let’s go. I want to hold my girlfriend’s hand and show her how she’s the only one in my life,”

There was no room for argument.

____

A/N: sure I disappeared for a while but I'm back! blame summer for my absence.... but this is 7k words so my due diligence is done.

Tag list? : @diabaroxa @vi0letdaze ily

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